<h4>Chapter 454 - Won''t be as easy as leaving this car.</h4>


    Last night when Qi Shuai and Yi Lan set out from Jíxiáng Riverside, for the whole ride, they were in silence. Feng Yi Lan rested at the back while Qi Shuai at the front. Till the time the car pulled up at her apartment, he found her already asleep.


    Not wanting to let go of some good time with her, the man kept on driving aimlessly on the road until he brought the car to get parked at the seashore, remembering that the girl always had a dream to wake up at the scenery of the sea.


    To not miss any moment with her, he did not dare to sleep, neither cared to blink his eyes thinking that if he did then he would doze off. This was his first time being desperate like this but he also knew that his, being desperate for her forgiveness was the only proper thing for him to do.


    "It''s already morning, Director Qi. Could you please stop your staring game now? I have be all tired feeling your stares on me. Your eyes must be the same. So kindly stop it now". Feng Yi Lan suddenly said, taking Qi Shuai all by surprise.


    All this while he has been thinking of her to be asleep. Then when did she actually wake up? He was sure that he had not even seen her squirm or show any movement in her sleep then … Was that mean she was also not asleep for the whole night?


    Yes, of course! Or else why would there be no movement in her sleep especially when he was all known to the weird sleeping habits the girl carries from her young age. Not something but at least the nket would have gone off her if she was truly asleep.


    "You have not slept?" He asked while the woman slowly opened her eyes to look around, putting her hands over to cover it from the sudden contact of the brightness. Though she did not sleep, still to get herself adjusted to the light she needed some time.


    Then nodding she simply said, "Never got myself adapted to sleep under someone''s stares. So, I didn''t get any sleep".


    "If I was a disturbance to your sleep then you should have told me. I would have not been a trouble to you then. At least, you would have slept that way" Qi Shuai started in a guilty tone. He was truly feeling that in his heart but both his guilt and words just brought a chuckle out from thedy.


    He was dumbfounded when heard her chuckle. Looking at her, he waited for her words, knowing there would be someing. While Feng Yi Lan just continued staring at him. Her eyes held some contempt and disappointment in them, but Qi Shuai was not sure if those were for him. He knew that he deserved her contempt and disappointment, but then again for some reason he felt like those were not for him.


    "Brother Shuai, do you still remember, one time back in the States you said something to me?", Feng Yi Lan said, taking a pause between. Her tone was nonchnt that was not giving away any of her true heart emotions. For a second, it could even make one think that if she really has forgotten everything that happened?


    But Qi Shuai knew things better. He shook his head and the woman continued her words on her own. "You advise me to be honest with myself. Said that one should only expect those things from others which he or she is willing to give in return. Then howe you are expecting me to tell you about my pains and troubles? Have you ever cared to share yours with me?"


    The man instantly understood the meaning behind her words. "Yi Lan, you still have to hear me. Don''t assume things. I had some urgent things that I could not exin to you at that time but that did not mean that I have tried to keep them hidden from you. I have just not revealed it".


    "How is that different? Is hiding and not revealing does not mean the same" Feng Yi Lan retorted back. She was feeling disdainful about herself whenever she imagines how her mother would have gone to ckmail him out. She felt ashamed that even being a mother, herself, her mother used another mother''s life as bait. How could she? She was feeling disgusted with herself.


    Qi Shuai was at a loss for words. Of course, he has reasons to exin but was not sure if it would be appropriate to exin to her. After all, whether he or her mother, whoever is deemed to be guilty, she would be the one to feel the most pain.


    "Yi Lan, I …"


    "It''s fine, Brother Shuai, you don''t have to exin anything. I know that you were not at fault but waspelled to do so. Choosing your mother over my love was the best suitable choice. I really have noints from you but myself. How did I fail to see all this? Fail to see that all this time it was my mother behind the reason for my sorrows. And also, I failed to protect you? From the start till the end, I have never been capable to stand by your side"


    Feng Yi Lan confronted the truth. She was feeling terrible inside and her eyes were mirroring all her emotions to the man.


    Qi Shuai looked at her. Even though there were no tears in her eyes, he could still see the irreparable pain of her heart. Shaking his head in denial of her words, he said, "No, Yi Lan, there is nothing like that. Though I have not said this in the past, I would say it now. I have always loved you. Let''s start afresh and everything will go fine"


    Saying his words, he stared expectantly at the woman waiting to see her agreement but instead of agreeing to him, she simply said, "I don''t see thating possible, Brother Shuai. Though I love you and would always do. With the deeds of my mother, I don''t find my passion enough to love anyone." As shepleted her words, she turned around to open the door of the car, hiding the tears that were making her weak and left.


    But just when she thought she had escaped, Qi Shuai said from inside the car, "LanLan, you have yet to see my determination. Last time I was a coward but this time I won''t be the same. Leaving me wouldn''t be as easy as leaving this car".