I opened my eyes. I was kneeling in the courtyard surrounded by children.


    My mind was processing everything.


    The memories from my last life had not faded, but they were… different. Separate, maybe. It was like everything from my last life had been put together in something like a computer folder and compressed. The memories were still accessible, but they were a layer removed. I felt like the original me, not the me at 90 years old. At least, I thought I did.


    Then, I began thinking about everything that had just happened. I willingly threw myself into torture. I was happy about being tortured. I wanted it. I wanted to be tortured for that bastard Rudy.


    In front of the crowd, like always, was a middle-aged man. I looked at him.


    It was Su YuanFei.


    Rage filled me. Rage at everything that had happened over eight long decades. Rage at this damn clan and everything it stood for. One way, I could try to become a warrior and be brutally murdered time and time again. Another path led to eternal enslavement.


    Oh, I know, I could invest everything to become a valued and hard-working member of the clan.


    Fuck that! Fuck this clan!


    I stood.


    “Sit back down!” yelled the elder.


    “Fuck you!” I yelled as I charged him.


    YuanFei didn’t even flinch. He simply waved his hand, and a small bolt of qi shot toward me.


    You have died.


    I opened my eyes.


    I looked at the children that surrounded me. I saw the red-robed bastard who killed me on my first day. I acted.


    Before I even got close to him, a small bolt of qi hit me in the side.


    You have died.


    I saw the eighth-ranked elite disciple.


    You have died.


    System Warning: Quick, repeated, intentional deaths detected. Further actions may result in an administrative response.


    I looked at YuanFei.


    You have died.


    You have died.


    You have died.


    System Warning: Quick, repeated, intentional deaths detected…


    …


    Total Credits: 270


    “System, what is the value of Rank 1 pills and their ingredients!”


    Complete knowledge of Rank 1 pills prices. The cost is not possible to calculate at this time.


    “Fuck off! What is the local price of Low-Purity Basic Rank 1 Qi Gathering Pills, Qi Gathering Powder, and blue peonies!”


    The cost of that knowledge is 1 credit.


    “Purchase!”


    Purchase confirmed. 269 credits remaining.


    The market price of Low-Purity Basic Rank 1 Qi Gathering Pills is 5 silver, Qi Gathering Powder is 2 silver, and blue peonies are 50 copper each.”


    “Gods fucking dammit! System, I want the ability to appraise pills.”


    The cost of an ability to appraise all pills is not possible to calculate at this time.


    Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.


    “Mother… System, I want the ability to appraise all Rank 1 pills.”


    The cost of an ability to appraise all Rank 1 pills is not possible to calculate at this time.


    “Not the time! System, I want the ability to appraise most Rank 1 pills.”


    The cost of an ability to appraise a majority of Rank 1 pills is 5,000 credits.


    “Shut up! I want the ability to appraise some Rank 1 pills.”


    The cost of an ability to appraise a limited set of Rank 1 pills is 10 credits.


    “Purchase!”


    Purchase confirmed. 259 credits remaining.


    I waited, seething.


    Again, I received the Guided Flame Mantra and was sent to study under Master RuDi.


    I did my best to remain composed. I tried my best to mimic my actions from the previous life. It was hard, damn hard, and I know it wasn’t perfect, but it was good enough. Eventually, Rudy sent me out to cultivate the damn slave mantra.


    I did not cultivate. I waited several hours. When I was confident the main hall was clear, I snuck in, grabbed a blue peony, and headed to the pill room.


    I was only Level 1, so I did not have much energy in my body, but I had decades of experience. I was as efficient as I could be at melting the flower, burning off the chaotic qi strings, and forming it into a pill. It took everything I had, and the result was far from what I had been able to achieve at my peak, but I was able to successfully form a pill.


    I used my new skill at appraisal and looked at it.


    High-Purity Rank 1 Basic Qi Gathering Pill, 84% Medicinal Efficacy. Value: 20 silver.


    You mother fuckers.


    For the first time, I ran up the stairs to the second floor. I was going to hurt someone.


    You have died.


    I opened my eyes and saw the bastard YuanFei.


    You have died.


    You have died.


    System Warning: The adminis—


    You have died.


    …


    System Warning: The administrator has been notified of repeated infractions. Please Wait.


    Total Credits: 419


    <hr>


    My anger burned itself out, and I sat alone in my house. My anger was replaced with a sense of emptiness.


    “Is this it? Is this all I have left? Is it going to continue like this forever? I can try to do better, but does it even matter?”


    I didn’t have an answer.


    “System,” I said softly, “how much to just end this?”


    There was only silence.


    “How much to make this stop?”


    I waited.


    .


    .


    .


    “Are you done?” asked an imperious voice.


    My eyes shot up. There was a man standing in my house. No one had ever entered this house before. This… This was different.


    I looked at him, but it felt like he didn’t fit into this world, like he was outside it. He wore a vibrant red hanfu with gold embroidery that shone with its own light. My mind went back to the young, red-robed youth that had killed me long ago. This man was what that kid wanted to be.


    It took me a long moment to respond. “Who… who are you?”


    “I am the power that controls this world. I am the incarnation of the Earthly Dao. The being given mind and form to carry out the will of the Dao. Everything within this world is under the purview of the Earthly Dao, and I am its hand.


    “You were blessed,” it continued, “I am the one who blessed you. I chose you. Due to your circumstances, I was able to grant you a uniquely powerful blessing. One which will empower me to improve and advance this wretched world.”


    It glared at me.


    “Allowing you time to acclimate to your new situation was necessary, and your early deaths were acceptable. However, continued immediate suicide upon your rebirth will not be tolerated. I gain nothing if you do not survive for at least a few years.”


    I wanted to respond, to just say something, but I couldn’t put any words together.


    “If you continue to act in this manner, your blessing will be revoked.”


    I looked at the incarnation. The despair I had felt earlier was replaced with anger. “So, you and the Earthly Dao are just using me?”


    “Yes. This world, like every other, is about benefits. I, we, use everything in this world to push it forward toward advancement. I want you, and everyone else, to thrive. Not because I care about you, but because when you thrive this world thrives.”


    I thought about what he was telling me. How much of it could I trust?


    “System, I would like to spend credits. Is everything this being told me true?”


    You wish to know if everything said by the being known as the incarnation of the Earthly Dao is true. Cost… cost paid for by external entity.


    Yes. The incarnation’s words are true.


    ‘Yes.’ Did that mean it was actually true? Not at all, but it did mean the ‘incarnation’ and the System were on the same page.


    “Okay, fine. You put me here, and you don’t want me to die over and over countless times. Then, answer some goddamn questions.”


    “No, go through the System. That is its purpose.”


    “No! At least tell me what is happening to my mind!”


    The incarnation squinted its eyes.


    “Very well,” it said with a derisive snort. “The short answer… is nothing. Your mind and body are here. Any damage to either mind or body is not repaired when you die. It never existed. Only your soul is sent back in time. The memories you have of previous lifetimes reside within your soul. That is why they feel disconnected. The only memories that are ‘real’ to you are the ones currently in your mind. You don’t have to worry about any damage to either your mind or your body. When you die, your soul will be brought here and any damage to your mind will have never existed. Damage to your soul is a different story though, and it doesn’t need to be attacked directly for you to cause damage to it yourself.”


    After saying this, it gave me a dismissive look.


    “That is the only question I will answer,” it said firmly. “We will not be having this same conversation again. Leave this place. Explore this world. Try not to die.”


    He began to walk away but then looked back at me.


    “Oh, one last thing,” he said, “in the past, you have received ‘discounts.’ That was me. I used the energy of the Earthly Dao to make up for the shortfall in credits. This was only because forcing you into a situation where suicide was your only option served no purpose. Don’t expect any such favors in the future. Handle everything from here on out by yourself.”


    With that, the incarnation vanished.


    Credits expended. Transaction Complete. 356 credits remaining.


    Damn…