“Owww ----- my aching head it feels like I got hit by truck “ I reach my hand up to cradle throbbing skull. --- or at least I try to . I cant feel my hand . I cant feel my head! “okay calm down I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for this . ” as the pain in my (head) subsides I begin to examine myself and. “Oh no! oh no no no no this this cant be I’m a I’m a F#@&ING CRYSTAL! ”
Twenty minutes later:
Alright I’ve calmed down. I’ve quit trying to kill myself. Not that I could figure out how. I’ve mainly just been running around freaking out .well its more like floating actually I don’t have any legs. And its not like the crystal which I instinctually know is my body is flying around its more like my consciousness is floating around its kind of like playing a virtual reality game from third person point of view I know weird right.
Any how the only thing I’ve been able to find in my crazed state is my own crystal body. Which I guess I better describe I’m a blue six sided crystal that is twice as long as it is tall imagine a cube that is held at two opposite corners and stretched in opposite directions. As for my exact size its kind of impossible to tell as there is nothing here to compare it to.
I really hope there is more to this existence than this or I might just go “holly sh*t! what the hell is this ? “a blue screen and it look like there is something written on it lets see.
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You have come into contact with a foreign substance do you wish to infect
Yes no
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“What the heck am I virus of some thing! “ well sure I’ve got nothing better to do so “yes”.
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Loading infection
19%.........45%.........73%............100%
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Infection successful
You have become the monster core of a hollow oak tree.
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The next thing I knew the darkness receded and I found myself inside an old tree.
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Congratulations
With your intervention the hollow oak tree has evolved into a
Golden Oak.
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All around me the bark of the tree turns a golden color and emits feint light.
okay in a situation like this there''s only one thing to say.
“what the hell I’m a F#@%ing tree!”