"We would play together in the yard, he uh ya.... it was.. we would meet in our front yards and toss a baseball around."


    "Hmm. What else did you two do?"


    "Go out to the park and... play on the field, play war or something."


    "I see, and-"


    "Ha! We would stay up real late at the park, and that in itself would be a game.... Running back home in the darkness, past trees and brush that resembled these...."


    I paused, I began trembling and my hands could not stop shaking. I remember those runs, and the more thought I had put into it, the more I felt a pit in my gut.


    "Really? Sounded fun."


    He took note of my trembling hands and looked down and began writing in his folder.


    "How''s the medicine treating ya?"


    "Good! I-I think..um. I''m getting better!"


    I sounded so hesitant, I was disappointed.


    "Hmm, okay well, we will meet soon at another time. It seems as though there needs to be a little more time put into our efforts to help you out."


    "But!- Bu- I feel ok! I''m sleeping a little better, I''m having less trouble with everyone here."


    I stopped, leaned over to him as I recognized my frantic responses, and quietly said,


    "I haven''t had an incident in a while."


    He looked with a sort of disbelief and just said,


    "Is that so? Is that what you believe, or something you want to believe?"


    I sat there, the light was dim and aiming at me. I just sat in sorrow, nothing was working and I wanted out. I thought this was for the better. I was sadly wrong.


    "Goodbye Norman, I''ll see you soon for your next check-up"


    "But I''m... Gah! None of this shit is working! All this medicine and treatment is fucked! It''s stupid and you guys don''t know shit of what I''m feeling! It-it just keeps coming back, it''s there and not there! I-I ca-can''t ... It''s been 20 years.. And I''m still feeling the shock and horror of what had been done.... What I witnessed.. What I''m still witnessing."


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    There was a silence. The only sounds in the room were of the slight buzz of the dim light and tick of the clock. I did not realize, but in my rant, I had stood up. I looked around to see him stunned, but with again a look of disbelief and a few orderlees standing outside the door to the office.


    "Norman, you seem troubled and it pains me to continue to see you like this. Where is the light in you man, where is the light?"


    He said calmly. I slowly found my seat and rested with insecurity.


    "Agh.. I''ve got a headache now... The room is spinning-"


    "Have you been having those dreams?"


    "Well.. Yeah. They... They never really left."


    He took a pen from his coat, grabbed a notebook and looked to me,


    "Let''s add some time to this session then. Let''s recount what you experienced in these past, incidences."


    And he said "incidences" with a bit more emphasis trying to clarify a point. I thought it was smug, and that he-this place were full of assholes. But... I came here to get cured of the darkness that had brewed within me.


    "I don''t know, I... I rather not."


    "You''ve been here for a few months, don''t you want to get nearer to your release? Your purification?"


    "It''s getting us no where, we keep going in circles! This is pointless! When you have a man trapped and not only trapped! But trapped with-"


    "You''ve been repeating a series of numbers."


    I stopped immediately as soon as he made that statement. I said,


    "What did you say?"


    "You''ve been reciting these numbers in your incidences repeatedly. I''m not sure what it is or what they mean, but... It''s-"


    "What were these numbers?"


    He looked down at his notes and back at me,


    "204863"