I couldn''t believe him. I watched as Erik looked around, guilt and indecision painted across his face, clear as day. He looked up briefly and I stared down at him from the ledge of the crow’s nest. I watched him go below deck, and I had a good idea where he was headed. When he came back up shortly after, he looked angry. Amelia had climbed up here to tell me what had happened, and like a good neighbour, Orion was there.


    I couldn''t believe the audacity. Erik was so full of himself and so entitled. And he blamed it all on me. I heard the door slam on the Captain''s quarters.


    “Damnit Erik.” I huffed as I climbed down the ropes, half swinging, half falling, to get to the deck.


    I moved up the small set of stairs from the deck to the helm and stopped at the doors to the Captain''s quarters.


    Erik and I used to be inseperable. We did everything together. Even as kids, we grew up around each other cause of our parents being friends. He was protective and strong and I looked up to him like a brother. He used to be everything I admired. My best friend.


    But I’m always just the best friend.


    He was also everything I wasn''t. Erik was strong, and stoic. He was a great tactician, and had always looked out for the team in his own way. Sure, he was a little rash sometimes, but sometimes that’s what we needed. He had always been way better looking. I mean, I’m skinny and plain. He’s totally jacked and those blue eyes that you could lose yourself in…


    I realized it’s not just Amelia that had me following him here and I stepped back from the door. I looked down at my hands, shaking, and wondered what the hell I was doing down here.


    I backed away from the door and decided to do the only rational thing...


    I headed for the cargo hold to find the stash of whiskey our drunken host had hidden away, that Ethan had easily dug out from among the other crates and kegs. I took a huge swig and felt like every other person on the planet, dealing with life’s big problems. I came back up and walked passed Erik''s door, raising a toast and then took another huge gulp, most of it running down my chin and onto my shirt. Whatever.


    I did the walk of shame through the zombie bros up top on the deck and made my way back to my hidey-hole up the mast. I stumbled and my foot missed part of the rope ladder. I rolled down the netting and plummeted toward the water.


    At least, until, my shoes kick in. Drunk Me is happy that Sober Me is always wearing Hermes’s Winged Shoes, another Artifact that I was able to bond too. The shoes spread their little wings and flappy-flapped me and my self-loathing back up to the crow’s nest. Albeit, upside down, but hey, I’m not complaining. Better than drowning I guess.


    I can’t help but think about the past and I hated it. Even worse, my own feelings left me with a disgusting taste in my mouth. A few more sips of whiskey ought to do the trick. Much better. I’m fine now…


    Okay, I lied, maybe I wasn''t fine. But what could I even do about it? I felt lonely and out of place. I had acknowledged my crush on Amelia early on. I swallowed it down, cause I get crushes on lots of people. And she was the only girl. We quickly became good friends and I didn''t ever want to ruin that. And Erik...


    I don’t think his macho-manliness could handle how I felt. How would I even tell him?


    “Hey buddy, you know how we used to spend all that time together, like sparing and wrestling. And showering together. And going out places together. Yea, well I’ve been crushing on you hard since forever and when you disappeared you kinda broke my heart, and then you came back and were a total dick about everything to me and I still vouched for you to Amelia, cause I’m the greatest wingman ever. And then you went and fucked that up to so I guess I’ll just take my feelings and chuck ‘em overboard!" I recited loudly.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.


    A lot louder than I intended. I was happy for the wind and the fact that mostly everyone was in bed, sans the undead. I knew I was being overdramatic, but Gods did this suck. I finished the bottle and chucked it out into the water for good measure.


    Drunk Me promised Sober Me not to dwell on it too much when we woke up hung over. I curled up in a ball and waited for the whiskey to help me sleep.


    ~*~


    The sun sucked sooo much.


    So did the seagulls sitting around me, mocking me. I stood up, well at least half way, and they all flapped away, squawking in protest. I flipped off birds for the first time. I can check that off my bucket list, I thought. Have I mentioned how much the sun sucks?


    It’s gotta be at least noon. I’m so glad no one bothered to check on me.


    “Ship off the port bow!” Siobhan shouted, and I couldn''t help but think how much she sucked too. Then the words sunk in and I whipped out my telescope. Sure enough, a red ship with black sails was in the distance, hurdling toward us at top speed.


    “Ready weapons!” Siobhan shouted at her crew, but she hardly sounded concerned. More like excited, if anything. The zombie bros scattered to arm ballistas and cannons, so I called to my bow. Between the sun and this god-awful headache, I struggled to line up a shot.


    “Orion, can you hit them from here?” Stupid-head called up to me.


    “Err, I dunno.” I mumbled to myself, widening my eyes so far I looked like a damn Funko Pop.


    “Orion!”


    “Hold the fuck on!” I shouted back. I was already sick of everyone and I had only just got up. I made a personal vow to never get that drunk again.


    The Queen Anne’s Revenge got closer and it became clear just how much bigger it was then the Flying Dutchman. It could run into us head on, and tear us apart.


    Suddenly, I had a stroke of hungover genius. I pulled out some bits and bobs from my pocket of many things and collapsed my telescope down to just a lense. I attached it to my head with some leather straps, and made the coolest monocle ever.


    I pulled back the string on my bow and felt he sun arrow materialize between my fingers; the gentle bristle of the fletching brought a familiar comfort. I searched the ship with my enhanced vision for a suitable target.


    I saw a whole bunch of Golem running around in black sweaters and pants. What was the point of dressing up a Golem?


    My target made himself know by flailing around and smacking at the nearest Golem. He was dressed like a giant douche. Blinged out gangsta buddy was about to get an arrow in the ass.


    I felt the wind and arched my bow appropriately. I let fly and I watched as my arrow burst into sunlight and hurdled toward the Queen Anne’s. It slammed into the side of a Golem’s head, who turned into a pile of clay.


    “Erik, there seems to be only two people on the ship. There is a guy on deck giving orders to the Golem, and a dude steering the vessel who I can’t make out.” I shouted down at him. I watched as he rushed up to the bow of the ship and stood on the rail, grabbing some rigging for support.


    A flash of lightning rippled off him as Mjolnir appeared in his hand, and I couldn''t help but think of how heroic he looked standing there. And then I remembered he was a giant ass-hat who made me want to vomit.


    I decided to focus on my target. I took another shot, but this time he saw it coming. He pulled a revolver from his pants and shot my sun arrow from the sky. It exploded with light and fizzled out.


    The shot had been impossible. The angle had been all wrong. The wind was blowing the other way. And old school revolvers don''t shoot that far.


    “He’s got an Artifact!” I shouted down.


    My voice was a whisper lost in the storm as Erik fired a lightning bolt from his hammer. A bullet whizzed passed my face, so close that I could feel the heat from it. I ducked for cover, and hid from the gunshots and lightning.


    I peeked up and saw the Queen Anne’s Revenge, coming way too close for comfort. Many Golem loaded rows of cannons. The stern of the ship had a catapult. I finally saw the man steering the ship and it was indeed Zombie Blackbeard.Ethan would be so pleased when I told him.


    I heard Siobhan cackling like a hyena at the wheel as we charged head on. I braced for impact.


    I supposed that now would have been a good time to pray. I closed my eyes and reach out to any God that would listen and asked for forgiveness and the power to get the hell out of this mess. I asked for my friends to all have happy, healthy lives and I promised that I wouldn''t be petty about the Erik situation. I waited for the impact of the two ships, but it never came. I opened my eyes and the Queen Anne’s was gone, but so was the water. Confused, I stood and looked around.


    By some miracle, the Flying Dutchman had lived up to its name, as we sailed through the air, over top of the enemy ship.


    I heard the others cheering and I thanked the Gods for life’s little surprises.