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    Emonar the wizard crept quietly between tents that mostly held sleeping bandits. He held himself back from giggling as he slipped a sheet of paper into each tent. Each one bore a caricature of the bandit queen in a compromising position: either dead under a bat or sinking in mud or sitting in the rain looking miserable. The last was Emonar''s particular favorite because he had actually seen a similar expression on the bandit queens face once. Who ever was making this propaganda knew how to tell a story with few words.


    "Weaker than bats!" He whispered to himself when he just couldn''t hold it in anymore. He delivered his last paper and snuck back to the tent.


    Squints was waiting when he returned, a satisfied look on his squinty face. Emonar grinned at him. "Did you do it?" The wizard asked. Squints held out his hand and focused on his palm. His face turned a bit purple while Emonar watched. With a little *snap*, a small flame appeared over Squints palm. Squints let out his held breath and accidentally blew out the small flame, but he still looked to Emonar with expectation of praise. Emonar laughed and clapped his hands. "Squints, you are a natural! If we ever get out of here, I''ll personally sponsor you for wizard training." The wizard took a seat and began to lecture. Squints listened attentively.


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    Zdeska lit the flier and held it out as it burned to ash in her bandaged hand. The bandit in front of her shook with fear. The fool had been walking around with the flier in his hand, as though paper was a normal thing to be found in a hidden bandit camp. Zdeska spoke low, slow, and clear. "Bring me every piece of paper in this camp. If any more are found, you''ll be dead." The bandit turned and ran from the queen''s tent.


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    Chaney carefully crawled up the stone lined tunnel under the sands of the oasis. The tunnel opened under one of the large roots and was difficult to see from outside, but Chaney still worried someone would be waiting to stab him in the face each time he dropped off more fliers. This latest batch was gruesomely humorous: a short picture story showed the queen attacking a bat, then fleeing the bat, then killing hapless bandits. "Bandits are easier!" was the translation the dungeon fairy had given him for the letters scrawled along the bottom of each flier. Chaney cracked open the tunnel hatch and listened for a while, trying to locate the pair of bandits that was certainly here. When he was sure they were not close, he double checked his I''m not here skill and crawled out of the tunnel to find a good place to "hide" the fliers.


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    Zdeska bared her teeth and glared in outright hatred as Sajaa read aloud from a declaration of mutiny. The entire bandit camp stood united behind the goblin woman and Punch. Even the wizard stood with them!


    "I could just kill you all." She growled, interrupting Sajaa.


    Sajaa bared her much sharper teeth and glared right back. "You''ve already killed most of us by driving us from the fortress your parent dug out with their own hands. Killing what''s left will be total proof that you failed as their successor." Sajaa waited a beat for a response, then continued reading.


    Zdeska''s anger was so hot it felt like her hair would catch fire, despite the rain plastering it to her head. She turned away before Sajaa finished reading and strode off with her head held high. This was just another setback for her plans. Sajaa wasn''t a truly a bandit at heart--she still had the mentality of the goblin hordes--and she had made one fatal mistake. She forgot that, among bandits, gold is the true king.Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    Zdeska, no longer the bandit queen, vowed to return with enough gold to buy the loyalty of every bandit still in the dungeon and tear out Sajaa''s heart. She crossed the sandy dungeon floor then the forest dungeon floor. She exited through the portal there to try her luck in this other world.


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    Punch and Sajaa sat in the cooling sand of the nighttime oasis, drinking the last of Zdeska''s wine. Mostly, Sajaa was drinking the wine. "I really thought she would tear us apart there, at the end." Punch said.


    Sajaa drained her mug and lay back. She burped. "Zdes''a''s too proud. That''s why I said t''her she was a failure if she killed us all. She always thought we wasn''t good ''nuf fer her." Sajaa hiccuped and said something in her native goblin language. "You know why she took h''us all the way here? She wanted us all to be adventurer bandids, like her. Stupid idea. Adventurer bandits get killed by adventururer armies."


    Punch considered Sajaa''s slurred words for a while. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Sajaa sobbing. "Sajaa?" Punch asked. "What''s the matter?"


    Sajaa threw her arms around Punch and crushed him against her. "I miss her!" The goblin bandit wailed.


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    Violet rolled on the ground of the swamp worldlet, laughing as Chaney coughed and struggled to breath after a sip of Violet''s fairy liquor. When they both got their breath back, Violet poured his out in a nearby muddy pond. "Yeah, that stuff is the worst. I only remember drinking it once." The water bat jumped from a different nearby pond into the slightly alcoholic pond. The bat squeaked in horror and leapt through several other ponds, shaking itself in the muddy water to rinse off the poison. The moon cat chased the boss bat and playfully tried to catch it between ponds. More laughter followed.


    Violet, Yrryth, Boss bat, Chaney, and the moon cat were celebrating the removal of the bandit leader. Violet clapped his hands to get everyone''s attention and pulled out a small card with his notes for a short speech.


    "Thank you, everyone! As you know, we''re celebrating a major milestone in the process of removing the bandit infestation--The bandit leader is gone!" Violet paused for a chorus of squeaks, growls, yowls, and clapping. "Special thanks goes to boss bat for its remarkable skill in swimming, fighting, and training the other bats. We couldn''t have done it without you!" More sounds of celebration and appreciation. The boss bat did a few flips and spins in the air above its pond to the delight of the group.


    Violet flipped his notes over to continue. "I realized that most of you might not know why it''s important to remove the bandits. There are two reasons: First, it blocks the trade route that brings so many interesting and valuable plants and materials to the dungeon. Second and more importantly, when outsiders stay too long in a dungeon, they become "residents" which are a drain on dungeon mana and experience." Violet said. Speech finished, he put his notes away. "One of my professors said residents are like tapeworms to a dungeon." He said.


    "Does that mean that I''m hurting the dungeon?" Chaney asked.


    Violet shrugged. "I don''t know if you are a resident yet. Since you are helping remove the bandits, you should be an overall benefit to the dungeon. The bandit leader would have been the greatest drain because of her higher levels and skills, so her removal was the best first step we could have taken."


    The group celebrated for a while longer, eating fish, fruit, and a few snacks that Violet summoned. When the party finished, they all went back to work--the majority of bandits were still securely tucked away in the acid rain worldlet.