Chapter 1: In Between


    I woke up in a dark void for what felt like a minute after I died. Ah!


    I looked around, feeling confused and still shocked after what happened. I... What just... I''m, okay?


    I had to make sure my body was still intact, and I realized something didn’t make sense. I couldn’t feel any part of my body, even my hands; it wasn’t painful, but I couldn’t feel any part of me. The place I was in was dark, and I saw no light source.


    Wait... Where is my body? Huh!? I was even more confused and shocked. It was like being a first-person video game character who couldn’t see his own body. I looked around the area.


    What the hell even is this place?


    I was perplexed; I didn’t know what was going on.


    All I knew was I was in a dark room, having no idea how big it was, and I couldn’t see my body.


    It''s like I was only a pair of eyes. Am I in some dream, or is this some prank? Wait, but then what would explain what happened... Maybe a dream in a dream? I''m... So lost. I was thinking what it could’ve been, but I completely forgot. Hello! Anyone here!? I shouted as my voice didn''t sound as clear.


    It sounded more like I was talking in my head, and nothing else was heard. Huh, that''s weird. Do I even have a mouth? I looked around again.


    This place is interesting. It''s just completely dark. Maybe I''m in a lucid dream? Hmm, I could test out trying to summon a harem. Cat girl harem...


    I started thinking of cat girls to appear right in front of me, but nothing popped up.


    Okay, damn it. Maybe this isn''t a lucid dream.


    I was questioning what was happening. Okay, think for a minute. You were driving your car and got distracted from an amber alert, and then you almost crashed into that car, and you saw that truck in front of you, and the last thing you saw was a pool of blood and feeling a lot of pain, and some colors... That''s it?


    I was still thinking what could''ve happened, and then I concluded something. Wait... I''m not dead... right? I let out a sigh. If that''s the case, then I guess heaven and hell weren''t a thing to begin with. At least silence and being alone is better than being in the real world. I wish I had a body right now. Wait a minute. If I''m dead and can''t see or feel my body, then I must be a soul. That explains it. I''m just a flying glowing orb, probably." I looked around the area again.


    I probably am dead; I guess this is just my life for eternity. I mean, what can I do? I couldn’t do anything else but float in this void in this so-called soul form, but I still tried to admire the good side of things. Well, shit... It''s fine, though. This is the freedom I wanted, and I think I''m gonna get used to this...


    As five seconds passed, a glowing figure appeared right before me. "Huh?"


    The glow slowly faded to reveal the figure, a beautiful woman in a white and yellow-looking robe.


    She looked gorgeous. She had white hair, and yellow eyes. Definitely someone my type. The woman smiled softly and started talking, "Apologies for being late. I tried summoning you after you died, but I guess it was delayed for some odd reason. "


    I was feeling confused but also admiring her cute appearance.


    "Oh, I forgot, sorry!" She exclaimed. She quickly snapped her fingers, and my body returned from top to bottom.


    I felt in control of my body, but it was very light and felt good, or like I had no problems with my body in general. I was also able to see my hands. I kind of looked like a ghost.


    "Thank god," I said as I looked at the palm of my hand. I looked back at her "I guess I say thank you." I said while scratching my head.


    "You''re welcome. Now, let''s focus on our discussion." She summoned two chairs facing each other, took a seat, and gestured for me to do the same. "Well, are you going to sit?"


    "Uh... Sure?" I walked over to the chair and sat on it.


    "Now, let''s get into our discussion."


    "Uh, wait. I''m... dead, right?"


    "Well, I guess I didn''t have to explain that and watch you freak out, but yes, you''re deceased from your world."


    "...Thought so." I looked at her top to bottom. Huh, I can''t help but wonder why she''s here. She seems to have some strange abilities, such as summoning chairs and making my soul have a body again, except it looks see-through. Could she be more than just a random dead woman?


    "I am a goddess to answer your question."


    I was shocked not at the fact she was a real goddess, just the fact she read my damn mind. Holy shit. Did she hear what I said in my head? If she can see that, then... Here is what was going on in my head. I was thinking of her in a swimsuit or her as a cat girl, and in a swimsuit.


    I was embarrassed, but I was also worried that she could go deeper in my head and find all the stuff I have been doing my whole life If she''s a goddess, what could she do to me if she knew my every thought? Everything I have done. Could I go to hell? I pondered.


    Maria sighs. "Listen." She said. "I don''t care what things you have done, and can you stop thinking about me looking like that if you don''t mind?"


    "Oh right, okay, okay, sorry," I said as I stopped pondering


    "Right... So, my feelings about you are not determined by your actions. However, it does depend on what it is, and me with cat ears or a revealing outfit like that isn''t something I like, but it doesn''t change what I do to you, basically."


    I was still embarrassed since she knew everything in my head; I always kept a bunch of those things to myself, of course. I took a deep breath. I was hoping she wouldn’t mention all my thoughts.


    "Sorry about that. Can we move past that, please?"


    "Yes, but there''s still a bunch of other things we’ll have to discuss."


    "Oh... But hey, if you don’t mind me asking, what is this place?" I scratched my head as I said my question, even though there was nothing to scratch.


    "I was just about to get to that. Let me introduce myself. I am Maria, the goddess of the in-between, which is the place we are in currently. This is where souls go once they die."


    I looked down at the ground and thought for a second and pondered, "Souls go when they die, huh?" I muttered. I then faced her again. "What is this place in-between, though, like the real world or what?"


    "Oh no, the real world is actually outside the in-between. This world is actually in between the gates of hell and heaven, which is where the name came from."


    I sighed as Maria said that, "Oh... So, that does exist... Let me guess. You''re here to tell me whether I go to hell or heaven. Are you?" I already knew I was going to hell.


    "I can tell you thought that, and yes, you have no spot in heaven, unfortunately, but—"


    I stood up from the chair, my fist clenched beside me. "To shit with that! I mean, there is nothing I can do. I''m just wasting our time right now. There is no need for talking. I know what will happen." I didn’t want to go to hell, but I was smart enough not to fight or argue with a deity, so I just accepted my faith. This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.


    "I can read you clearly, and obviously, you don’t want to go to the deep dark of hell."


    I sat back down on the chair and had my head down. "I mean, who would? It’s an endless pain and torture, right? I’ve already been in my own hell that just ended. All I wanted was to live happily, and all of this was on me for giving up so easily. If I could go back in time to change everything, I really would, so this shit would never have happened in the first place."


    "I know you would. But you didn’t let me finish talking."


    I took a deep breath. "I''m sorry," I said with my hands on my face,


    “Don’t worry, it happens, and I understand your pain. You and I both know you have no spot in heaven, but there is a third option.”


    I lifted my face back up to face her. “What do you mean by that?”


    "Well, there might just be a little, little something called reincarnation"


    "Like coming back to life and stuff? Wait, hang on, pause for a second!"


    Maria cleared up her throat. "Ichitami Takigashi. I''m offering to give you another chance at life. A second chance."


    I was trying to process this because reincarnation was a fantasy dreamed of ever since my trash life and getting into novels and anime "Can you actually do that? Reincarnation!?" I said as I stood up.


    Maria gestured for me to sit back down as she chuckled. "Relax, relax, sit back down."


    "Oh, uh, sorry," I quickly sat back down on the chair. "So. Is it possible?"


    "Mhm. When mortals are sinners, they have two options," Maria held two fingers up. "To be reincarnated to change for the better." Maria puts one finger down. "Or they can still pick the option to just go to hell, of course, but a minimal amount does that." Maria puts her finger down. "And from what I can tell so far, you''re definitely going to take the option of reincarnation, I bet." She chuckled.


    I thought of it for a second. "But... What if I still can’t do it? I mean, even if I know I could go to hell, I—"


    "Trust me, you’ll be fine," Maria said as she interrupted me. "Many think it''s hard at first, but I promise it isn’t. All that matters is you being more kind to others and actually making a happy, growing life for yourself. Of course, not everything will end up being good; you may have your bad times here and there, but you’ll have to push through it and die a good and happy person in your last moments."


    "...So all I have to do is be a better person, that’s it? what if I have a harem, or I continue jerking off to porn here and there. No problem?"


    "Is that really the first—" Maria didn''t finish her sentence and just sighed, "Yes, you can do that if you can, of course."


    I raised my hands in a cheering manner and said, "Yes..." I whispered.


    Maria facepalms, "Yeesh, your one perverted man-child."


    brought my hands back down and looked back at her again. "Okay, so all I have to do is be a kinder person and not be a pain in the ass. Got it. But wait, what''s heaven all about anyways?"


    "Oh, just looking off into the sunset with your loved ones and having unlimited happiness so you won''t lose your sanity or wish to get out. It does sound boring, but trust me, the unlimited happiness is worth it." I stayed quiet and felt a little hesitant about it. "I promise you it''s worth all the time and effort. I would teleport you there just so you can get an example, but unfortunately, the higher-ups wouldn''t allow me the last time I tried."


    I tilted my head because I was confused about what she meant by that. "Wait, so you''re not, like, the main god?"


    Maria shook her head. "Nope. I''m simply here to just send souls to heaven or hell or reincarnation."


    "Huh, I wonder what they are like." Of course, I would be curious about who this main god was, but I didn''t bother to think too much about it.


    Maria stayed quiet and just looked at me for several seconds as her smile faded. Then she shook her head and snapped back to reality with a small smile. "Uh, so you still want to go to hell?"


    I looked back at her, "Maria. I think I''ll take the third option. I don''t wanna be in endless torture in hell, and I do wanna have my own happiness up there. It''s worth a shot, right?" I said with a small smile.


    "Great, let''s get started." Maria grabbed my hands into hers. For a second, I thought she had a thing for me, and I had a small, smug face. "Don’t get the wrong idea."


    My smug face went away as she said that, "Well, what are you doing then anyways?"


    Maria took her hands off and sat straight on the chair again. "I was reading what world is most suitable for you to be reincarnated in." She summoned what looked like a book in her hands.


    I was confused. "Wait, Another world? I thought I would be summoned back to my world as a toddler as someone else."


    Maria looked back at me and said, "Well, yes, is that a problem?"


    "Nope! Just hoping I get isekai’d to the world I always wanted to be in..."


    "Haha. Well, of course, there are. It''s basically infinite. After I had a feel for your energy when I had my hands out on yours, this book should now tell me what world is suitable for you."


    "Wait a minute, there are fantasy worlds, right? Like I''m talking sword and magic stuff like the anime and novels I''ve seen"


    Maria looked back up at me. "Hm? Well, I guess you could say there is magic, I guess. The laws work differently in other worlds even a little, so things that make sense in your world might not make sense in others. You understand what I''m saying?"


    Magic, exactly what I wanted to hear. I guess I get to live my dreams as an isekai protagonist. I really tried to hold my excitement in.


    Maria looked back at the book. "But I can’t guarantee you''re going to be sent to the world of you so-called dream of. So, I suggest not getting too excited."


    "Right, right, don’t get too excited, got it." I took a deep breath as Maria looked at the book.


    "Man child..." she muttered.


    "What was that?"


    She ignored me, and she stopped flipping through it. "There. Here is a world for you." Suddenly, the book flipped all the way back to the first page. "Not again." Maria tried flipping all the way back to the page she was on, but the book kept going back. "Come on, stop being a pain." Maria kept trying to fight it, but she gave up.


    "Is... everything all right?" I asked as I looked at the book.


    Maria ignored me and pondered as she looked at the book. "Why again? In all my eons of living, this never happened. Other than..."


    "Uh, hello?"


    Maria stopped pondering and faced me, "Huh? Oh, right, sorry, I guess there is a bit of a bug, you could say. Uh, don’t worry. Your world is already selected, I guess,"


    I thought something was a little weird with her, but I shrugged my shoulders. "Okay, well, what world am I being sent to anyway?"


    "Don’t really know anything about that world. there''s only so little I can tell you. Either way, I couldn’t tell you if I knew anyway since you have to grow into that world and figure everything out yourself."


    "Can you at least give me a little something on how it''s so bad?" Maria was thinking of what she could say. I really wanted to know as much as possible before I go to a whole ass another world


    "Okay, I can’t. Well... Yeah, I don’t know what to tell you, but I’ll keep an eye on you more than the others if that makes you feel better. Just curious myself on this." I didn’t know what to do, so it was just silent, with both of us thinking.


    "Are there any other options?" I asked.


    Maria shook her head. "I could try to talk to my lord, but low chance he will care, so I just put my trust in the book, and so does he."


    All I did was sigh. "So, it''s still either hell or this, is it?"


    She nodded.


    I didn’t hesitate to speak, "Then I''m going to that world even if you won''t give me enough information. I’ll try to get back on my feet if something goes wrong. I know it won’t be easy, but I wouldn’t dream of spending an eternity in hell."


    "I know you won’t, and according to the rules of this world, I have to offer you something along the way there."


    "Wait, you can do that?" I asked as I looked suprised.


    "Well, yes, I mean, I think that''s the book is telling me to give you this. Anyways, standup"


    I was a little confused about why I should stand up, but I did anyway. Maria also stood up and snapped her fingers, and the chairs were gone.


    I looked back to where the chair once was and back at Maria. "Uh?"


    Maria put her hands out, and one orb was floating above her hand. One looked like a glowing white orb floating on her right hand, and her left hand had nothing. "On my right hand is the power of light, and on my left hand is nothing. You can pick either one of these on your journey in your new life."


    Now, I was completely shocked but also excited and confused. I mean, how can you not be shocked after hearing someone offering you power?


    "Wait, hang on, timeout, timeout really quick, you''re giving me your godly power in the new life you''re reincarnating me in?" I asked with disbelief.


    "Oh no, this isn’t my power."


    "Then who’s is it!?"


    "I''m not too sure exactly, but apparently, it''s meant to come with you."


    "You stupid goddess, how do you not know!?" I said with a hint of frustration and confusion.


    "Rude." She said with a pouty expression.


    "Holy shit, this is going on fast. Okay, think for a minute, you are being offered some powers you have no knowledge of, or do you go on with nothing, hmm." I started muttering and thinking to myself as I shuffled in circles for ten minutes.


    Maria was watching me shuffle, and she took a deep breath. "Is it seriously that hard to pick?"


    I stopped and faced Maria. "Listen, I''m not some god or goddess like you; I''m just a, what do you call it? I''m a mortal, and I also have to worry about the fact I''m going to a whole other world with barely much info. Give me a break here."


    "Okay, okay, take all the time you need then."


    After five more minutes, I stopped and faced Maria with a positive look on my face. "All right, Maria, I''m ready."


    Maria sighed with relief. "Finally. What have you chosen?"


    "I pick the power of... Nothing... Nah, I''m just playing around."


    "So, light? Good choice. Okay, if you''re so sure, then here you go."  Maria aimed her right hand at me, and the orb of light flew right into my chest.


    my astral form had a small glow. "Holy shit..." The light would then go away. "What?" I was confused because I didn’t look any different.


    "Oh, it doesn’t affect your astral form, so you’ll have to wait till you get reincarnated into the other world." I looked at my hands, and I was thinking what else to say. "So, is that it?"


    Maria nodded. "Mhm. whenever you''re ready, I''ll send you right over there."


    "Huh, so this is really it. This is where I start my adventure, my second chance. I know this won’t be easy, but I have to try. I''m still sad and pissed and angry and still have this trauma, but I''m not going to somewhere worse than the life I had. I''m gonna try my best and have my happy ending, hopefully. Or I’ll end up having a bad ending. Who knows?" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I opened them again. "Maria, I''m ready. To start my new life now and begin my journey."


    "Then I''ll send you there right now. Are you sure you don’t have any more questions?"


    I shook my head. "Don’t get me wrong, I do, but I know you can’t answer them, so I’ll search for those answers myself."


    Maria nodded. "Very well, I’ll see you the next time you die. Good luck. And I hope you find those answers and have your ending."


    I closed my eyes. "I''m not sure what will happen, but I''m determined this time to find the life I want. All right, Maria. Send me there!" Maria snapped her fingers, and I was teleported away "Here goes... Till next time."


    I was teleported away, and it was just dark at first, and the last thing I heard was the same whisper: "Wake up…"