Things could have gone worse, I thought as Trystan said his goodbyes and left. Cathán had called him and Matthias, though Matthias had left at midnight, which was reasonable considering it was almost 3 in the morning now. Cathán picked up the dirty dishes and made his way to the kitchen, where the sink was promptly turned on.


    “Hey, man, you can leave the dishes. You’ve done enough already, I can do ‘em tomorrow.” I said as I got up from the table and went to him. Eating nourished not only my battered body, but my weakened soul as well. Losing that amount of blood was a terrible oversight.


    I wonder what can I use in place of my blood… There’s no way I’m using mine again after this. Perhaps a sacrifice? I’m not sure I’m capable of killing an animal, but I can’t see why one that’s already dead wouldn’t work.


    Money would be the only problem, I guess; meat’s expensive, after all, and I’m not willing to risk it with butchery refuse and other things I can find for free. Maybe offal?


    “You should go sleep, dude, you keep zoning out. I’ll take care of everything, don’t worry. Go sleep.”


    Before I could resist, he grabbed me by my shoulders, turned me around, and pushed me out of the kitchen and into my room as he turned on the lights.


    “I’ll call you tomorrow, now, sleep, ok? Goodnight” Cathán said as he left as quickly as he got in. I wanted to go back but at after seeing my bed my eyelids were steadily growing heavier and heavier. I managed to take off my shoes and fall on my stomach in the mattress before immediately passing out from exhaustion.


    …


    I saw myself suspended from high above, a mere shadow of what I once was, spread out and flattened, as though I were delicate parchment stretched too thin. All I could see was an overwhelming emptiness. And then, there was Death, standing beside me, her presence not ominous but strangely calming, like a shadow that neither threatened nor fled. Soothing like shade on a hot summer day.


    “Voids,” she whispered, her voice as soft and timeless as distant waves lapping against the shore, “aren’t your enemy. They can be your freedom.”


    Her words lingered, reshaping the silence that hung between us. These voids, these empty spaces I had long ignored, weren’t burdens to bear, but invitations- to remake, to make mine, to claim. They belonged to me, ready to be filled not with what had been, but with the power of what could be; my will to create, to give meaning.


    It struck me then that I had never truly seen them before. My gaze had always sought what was present, never considering what was missing, what could be. But now, as I drifted through this infinite sea of souls, all laid out same as mine, I watched everything that had been defined dissolve, fall apart, and fade into nothingness. All that remained was the void, intact, unchanged, with its silent promise.


    “How do I turn that which means nothing and turn it into something that does?” I asked.


    “First, it must be lost.”


    …


    I woke up feeling like absolute crap, but way better than how I felt yesterday. I didn’t bother putting on shoes as I went to the living room and finally checked my phone, dreading that I would have lost calls, or that I had slept for too long.


    No lost calls, though I did have a decent number of texts checking up on me. Mainly from Matthias, which did warm my heart a bit. I had forgotten about my friends in my obsessive search of what lay beyond the veil of normality we all seemed stuck at.


    Not all was lost, thankfully. I still had to apologize, though, but I could do that later, when things calmed down a bit. It would be manipulative of me if I asked to be forgiven after all that happened yesterday, after all.


    It was 4 PM, still somewhat early. Today I could buy meat and such, but I needed money first… Cathán was probably tutoring right now, but perhaps Trystan or Matthias are out working, so I sent a few texts and decided to meet with them at the usual spot.


    It was cloudy, which was preferable to having a blazing sun giving me sunburns… I did not have enough money to waste on sunscreen.Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.


    People filled the streets, and I tried and miserably failed to bump into every other person that passed me by. I couldn’t help but be a bit paranoid about being stolen from, but I was confident that my fanny pack and leg pouch were hard to get into. The stuff I carried wasn’t that expensive, but I had them with me since I began studying at my university, and they were a gift from my friends; pliers, and half a dozen dull knives, with only one razor sharp, sheathed and marked by an unnoticeably small blue tape in the pommel. I also carried wooden beads, coils of wire and string, a few leather strips, a small number of small and unnasuming pretty stones I had bartered for with a bracelet, and of course some of my finished crafts. A dozen unique bracelets, earrings, keychains, and a pair of rings. Crafts weren′t my forte per se, but I loved doing them, and when one eventually sold it was extra money I wasn’t actively sweating my ass off for.


    I could see my friends from quite a long distance; tools flew in an almost hypnotizing manner, following a steady and confident circular motion. I quickened my pace, and was promptly greeted by a one armed hug from Trystan.


    Matthias still had a few seconds left before it was green light again and he could rest.


    “Trust the hungriest to come work early, well, relatively early. Cathán told me y’all went to sleep at like 4 AM” Trystan said with a beaming smile. “How you doing?” He carried in his left hand a square surface covered by a scarlet fabric which was full of necklaces and bracelets. Most of them had silver wire stylized into exotic shapes, sometimes holding a precious stone, which was part of his signature. He was the one that taught me to work with wire, after all, though I had always preferred copper rather than silver; buying silver wire was kinda expensive compared to finding copper wires and stripping them of the plastic covering.


    “Better, but I’m still a bit battered, so I didn’t bring the fire stuff. How is the day going?”


    “Eh, you know. Same old, same old… Haven’t sold much. I was by the supermarket next street for a while before Matthias showed up. I was thinking of moving to another place, but now that you’re here… I’m just waiting for you to do your magic.” He smiled, before turning around as the cars started moving once again and Matthias was jogging our way.


    “Lucky Charm man, you came just in time! Today has been awful!” Matthias said as he grabbed me around the neck with his arms and playfully grated his knuckles on my hair “People are stingy, my palms are sweaty, and, to be honest, I’ve been waiting for quite some time to do that ladykiller move with you.” He was the oldest and more experienced of us, his skin tanned by countless hours toiling below the sun, and his hair short and utilitarian, almost the complete opposite of Trystan, who had a braided brown hair, and no matter how much he tried, could never get rid of his milkish tone.


    “I didn’t bring the fire stuff, sorry. I’m not feeling good enough to try that”


    “It’s ok, it’s ok, just bring on the good luck. You’re doing the street perpendicular to this?”


    “Yeah, yeah, I also brought some of the stuff I made”


    “I can hold on to that. You guys can do your thing while I sell stuff” offered Trystan.


    I gave Trystan the finished stuff I carried with me, and hurriedly went to the street that crossed this one as I took out my knives. I made a quick demonstration using the sharp knife, grabbing people’s attention, which I then hid away with a sleight of hand and replaced with a dull knife, and started juggling, slowly picking up the rhythm and finding a pace my bruised body and soul could endure.


    Three hours passed before we were done for the day, and true to their beliefs, we had made a decent amount. Including what Trystan had managed to sell both from mine and his.


    With my pockets 15 pounds heavier, I said goodbye to Trystan and Matthias as they went home, and I made my way to the cheapest butcher shop nearby.


    Offal seems a good choice, though now that I thought of it, butchery refuse didn’t seem as that bad of an idea; I did use nails and hair, after all, but they were mine, and not an animal’s. I had the theory that it was either less potent, or that it beckoned another type of entity. Maybe having some type of journal to document my findings would be a good idea, but I didn’t like the idea of having a physical object that could be found, or worse, stolen. Online wasn’t that better; I wasn’t going to place sensitive information in something I didn’t even know how it worked.


    In the end, I had bought almost three pounds of fresh offal; hearts and other stuff I couldn’t name by sight alone, and I also managed to get my hands on a few bones for no additional cost. Maybe I could do some nice crafts with them, but I needed more tools… Trystan and Cathán ought to have some I could borrow.


    I walked my way home, preferring to save the money I would have used on the bus, and began the preparations.


    This time I wanted to go bigger, so I decided to watch an online inTV video on how to cut my hair, grabbed the decent amount I had gotten (not before looking at the mirror and realizing I hadn’t done that bad of a job, all things considered) and sat down on the wooden floor to get in the right headspace.


    The animal, and the human, in one.


    Fire as the catalyst, to call upon those that lurk behind the smoke.


    The offerings in a circle surrounding me.


    The hair and some blood, to be burnt.


    Some words, to seal the deal.


    No music; I still haven’t found a song that fits.


    I was ready.