Chapter 18


    Jake


    I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt so fucking furious. I’m not usually a violent guy. I have never even punched someone before, outside the occasional sparring match with my brothers and Alex. However, punching that jackass in the face seemed like the most appropriate response to him putting Amber in danger. The alternative would have been that I cut off his balls right in front of her.


    ‘What the hell is the meaning of all this?’


    I turn around and watch Ray approaching from the house, with one of his rare angry faces. That shouldn’t be a fucking surprise, considering the situation, but what is surprising is that his anger seems to be directed at me.


    ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing, Jake?’ Ray thunders at me. ‘First I get a text from you, because you’ve apparently taken off with my nanny during working hours. Then I see all of you fiddling around here, while you’re supposed to be doing a health inspection of the calves. And now I catch you throwing punches? You know very well that I don’t tolerate fighting on this ranch!’


    The rage inside me flares up again when I realize what is going on. I turn away from Ray without answering him, and stare at Gary in disbelief. As our foreman, he should have notified Ray immediately of what had happened.


    ‘Are you fucking kidding me, Gary? You didn’t even fucking tell him?’ I yell furiously at my foreman.


    ‘Tell me what?’ Ray stops right next to me, alarmed by the strained tone of my voice. He glances from me to Gary, raising his eyebrows inquisitively. Gary crosses his arms in response and stares at the ground, but he doesn’t say a word.


    ‘Those fucking assholes thought it would be funny to mess with Amber,’ I hiss between my teeth. I angrily gesture towards Walter, who is still down at my feet. ‘Walter here put her on Rustler, and he bolted right out of the corral with her.’


    ‘What? ARE YOU INSANE?’ Ray roars. His gaze instantly snaps to Walter. His eyes are shooting daggers at him.


    ‘That was never meant to happen!’ Walter says as he scrambles up. He looks genuinely shaken up.


    Good, he should. Fucking bastard!


    ‘It was just supposed to be a bit of teasing, that’s all!’ Walter adds in a pleading tone, his gaze flickering from Ray to Amber to me. ‘I thought for sure that she would chicken out when she got to Rustler, or that she would fall off his back right here in the corral. Just in the sand, no harm done. I wasn’t even going to let him loose inside the corral! Rustler just got away from me and pulled the rope from my hand. And then the gate turned out to be open… I mean, fuck!’ Walter glances at Amber with a haunted look in his eyes. ‘I’m so fucking sorry, Amber. This was never my intention!’ he says, guilt-ridden.


    ‘And you didn’t think to intervene, Gary?’ Ray asks our foreman sharply. Then he looks around at the other men. ‘None of you thought to say something? You all thought this was a funny, harmless prank?’


    Everyone shuffles around uncomfortably, but no one answers him. Except Amber, of course.


    ‘It’s my own fault, Ray. I never should have let his teasing bother me, or been stupid enough to engage,’ she says softly. ‘Sylvester told me not to listen to them. And Nick tried to stop it too. It’s not their fault, it’s mine.’


    Oh, fuck no! She is not going to try to take the fall for this! I’m about to protest her words, but Sylvester, who is still standing right next to Amber, beats me to it.


    ‘No, Amber,’ he says. He sounds disheartened, but he shakes his head at her determinedly. ‘You didn’t know Rustler was untamed, but we all do. We never should have even let you step inside that corral. Ray and Jake are right, we are all to blame here. You could have gotten seriously hurt, and it would have been our fault.’


    Amber wants to say something, but a few of the other guys nod ashamed and Ray walks over to her. Sylvester quickly steps aside to make room for him. I watch how the fury on Ray’s face is instantly replaced with a fatherly concern, when he gently places his palm on her shoulder.


    ‘This was not your fault, Amber,’ he declares earnestly. ‘I told you when you first came here that you were welcome to ride our horses if you wanted. You had no way of knowing this one wasn’t broken in yet, if nobody told you. Are you injured? Perhaps I should take you to the doctor.’


    ‘No, that’s not necessary,’ Amber says quickly. ‘I’m fine.’


    ‘I still think it might be wise to have you checked out.’ Ray frowns in concern. ‘Falling off a bolting horse can do some serious damage. You could have internal injuries that you''re not feeling yet, because you’re still in shock.’


    ‘She didn’t fall off, Ray,’ I tell him, finally calming down. There’s a hint of awe in my voice. I''m so fucking proud of Amber for holding on!


    Every single head snaps in my direction first, and then towards Amber. There is utter disbelief on their fucking faces. I keep my eyes locked on Amber, who is turning bright red.


    ‘This fucking Amazon stayed on Rustler’s back all the way to Old Teller’s Mill,’ I say, nodding my head towards her. ‘That’s where I finally caught up with her.’


    ‘Impressive,’ Ray says, raising his eyebrows at Amber. His comment is met with approving mutters all around. ‘So, you really are alright?’ he asks her again, just to be sure.


    ‘I’m fine,’ Amber confirms with a blush. ‘I–Oh, no!’ Her eyes widen in shock. ‘What time is it? I have to pick up the children from school!’ she cries out in panic.


    ‘School isn’t out yet,’ Ray assures her quickly.


    ‘You are not driving,’ I say sharply, at the same time. ‘Ray’s right. You may not have fallen off, but you could still be in shock.’ I turn to Ray. ‘I’m going to take her inside and make sure she gets warm and rests up, in case she crashes later. She didn’t even have her fucking coat on, Ray,’ I say bitterly.


    My tone leaves no room for discussion. I don’t give a shit that he’s my boss right now. However Ray just nods at me in agreement before he gently squeezes Amber’s shoulder.


    ‘I’ll make sure my kids are picked up from school. You will take the rest of the afternoon off to recuperate,’ he says decisively.


    I nod at Ray in acknowledgement as I walk to Amber. I place my hand on her back and gently push her towards the main house. Amber opens her mouth to protest, but I’m in no mood to hear it. I hear her mutter under her breath that she’s fine while I guide her inside. Behind me, I can hear Ray’s anger flaring up again when he turns towards the men responsible for putting Amber in danger.


    ‘Walter, Gary, my office. Right now!’ I hear him thunder behind us. ‘The rest of you, get your ass back to work!’


    I walk Amber straight through the kitchen into her quarters and I lock her door from the inside. She doesn’t need anyone disturbing her this afternoon. I guide her towards the closest dining room chair and gently sit her down. Then I go to her kitchenette and turn the water heater on.


    ‘Where do you keep your tea?’ I ask her.


    ‘There’s a tea box in the top left cabinet,’ Amber says. ‘Really, I’m fine Jake. I didn’t fall off. I’m not hurt. I’m fine,’ she tries to convince me.


    ‘Maybe,’ I nod, as I grab the tea box. I hold it out for her, so she can pick a flavor. ‘But you''ve been through something really scary today. You were in shock out there, and you’re likely still coming out of the adrenaline rush. I wouldn’t be surprised if you crash later.’


    ‘Oh, right. Yeah, maybe,’ Amber says, as if that only just occurs to her. She picks an orange flavored tea bag and takes it out of the box, scrunching her nose. ‘I can’t believe I was so stupid. I should’ve never let them get to me!’


    ‘Why did you?’ I ask her. I put the tea box back inside the cabinet and glance over my shoulder, to see Amber casting her eyes down in embarrassment.


    ‘They called me a city girl. Just like you did a few weeks ago. I know you were just joking about it, but I don’t want anyone, most of all you, to think of me like that.’


    ‘But you are from the city,’ I say with a frown. ‘Why does that matter?’


    ‘It just made me feel insecure,’ Amber says disheartened. ‘I’m trying really hard to fit in here. Ray and Marjorie are great, and their kids too, but I can never really tell where I stand with everybody else on the ranch. I just want to feel like I belong here.’


    ‘Are you kidding me? Amber, you fucking listen to me,’ I say sharply. I take a quick step towards her and lift up her chin, so she’s forced to look at me. ‘You are perfect, just the way you are, you hear me? You don’t have to try to fit in. You fit in everywhere you go, simply because you’re you. Your wonderful, sweet, amazing self. Don’t you fucking doubt that, and don’t you let anyone fucking tell you otherwise!’ Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    I cup her face with my hands and crash my lips against hers for a passionate kiss. Fucking hell, how can she even think that about herself? She belongs here with us. With me! That realization does strange things to my chest, but I know it''s the truth. When I finally stand up, Amber looks up at me with unsure eyes.


    ‘I thought you were bored with me,’ she says softly. I can see the hurt in her eyes.


    ‘Bored with you?’ I say in disbelief. ‘How could I possibly be bored with you?’


    ‘I guess, it’s just… I mean, we saw each other a few times, but after that it just felt like you sort of disappeared. I’ve barely even seen you in the last few weeks, and when I did see you around, it seemed like you kept your distance. It felt like you were ignoring me. So, I figured you had already gotten bored of sleeping with me. And that you were done with me,’ Amber admits.


    She glances down again, avoiding my eyes, and suddenly I feel horrible. I hate that I have made her feel so insecure about herself. It couldn’t have been further from the truth. But fuck, I should have realized that my behavior would make her feel that way.


    ‘Fuck, no! Amber, I’ve just been really busy!’ I say, a sense of urgency in my voice. I crouch down in front of her to catch her gaze. I can’t have her think that this was about her! ‘We’re deworming all the cows before we start rotating pastures,’ I explain to her, ‘and we need to get all the barns, feeders and fences of the new pastures ready for winter. It’s just a fuckton of work and a lot to keep track of. And on the weekends I’ve been home with my family. We’re working on a porch project I promised to help on, and Lily had a mathlete thing out of state that we all went to, and last weekend we had an epic paintball game for Cooper’s birthday.’


    It truly was epic. We all ganged up on him and the sucker could barely walk for two days. He loved it, as did we. Of course Cooper slept with the girl who worked there, she turned out to be some extreme, pro-life-activist, and now we can never go back to that place again, but at least we had a fun day. I gently run my fingers through Amber’s hair and tuck it behind her ear.


    ‘It wasn’t you, Amber. I was just busy, I promise,’ I swear to her.


    It definitely wasn''t her, but the truth is that I have been keeping my distance from Amber. Not because she bores me though, but because I find myself fucking obsessed with her. I can’t seem to stop thinking about her. Amber is always on my mind, even when I''m not around her.


    I knew that I liked her from the start, but I honestly thought that it was mostly sexual attraction. I figured it would subside after I’d slept with her. That’s what normally happens when I hook up with women. It’s the main reason why I was so reluctant to sleep with Amber in the first place. She’s a lovely person and she deserves something better than a quick bump and dump. And even though she agreed to something non-committal, I always knew that she would prefer having a boyfriend over something casual. I just didn’t think I could ever be that guy for her. But instead of losing interest and feeling the urge to move on, Amber continues to become more enticing to me with every moment I spend with her. And that just scares the fuck out of me.


    I have never wanted anything serious with a woman. I’ve never really wanted to be with a woman. My main interest in them has always been to have sex. But with Amber, I just can’t seem to get enough. And not just of the phenomenally good sex. I can’t get enough of her. Of being near her, talking to her, laughing with her, looking at her, holding her.


    I’ve tried to shake these unexpected feelings by keeping my distance from Amber over the past couple of weeks. I thought that maybe they would disappear if I just wasn’t around her anymore. I even went to Pete’s a few times, with the idea to screw any thoughts of Amber out of my head by hooking up with someone else. But it didn''t work. I didn’t get further than dancing with a couple of girls, because I just couldn’t seal the deal. I didn’t even kiss anyone. Not only because it felt like I was betraying Amber, but mostly because those women just didn’t spark any interest in me anymore. All I kept thinking was that they weren’t Amber, and that I would much rather be with her than with any of them.


    ‘So, you’re not bored with me?’ Amber asks again to be sure. ‘I would understand if you were, you know. I know that you’re used to sleeping with more experienced women. It probably isn’t as much fun for you with me.’


    ‘Fuck that! How could you possibly even think that after today?’ I laugh.


    I stand up to pull Amber out of the chair, then sit down and settle her onto my lap. I wrap my left arm around her waist and use my right hand to pull her face towards mine for a kiss. My fingers twirl through her hair and I gently let my tongue explore hers. I hug Amber tightly against me before I end the kiss with a playful bite of her bottom lip.


    ‘This has probably been the hottest sex I’ve ever had, out there today,’ I tell her seriously.


    ‘It was good, wasn''t it!’ Amber exclaims enthusiastically.


    ‘It was fucking fantastic. You are fucking fantastic,’ I agree wholeheartedly.


    ‘Major fear, followed by major excitement, and a major stress release. Truly a day of extremes,’ Amber chuckles.


    ‘You can say that again,’ I sigh, hugging her closer against me. ‘I don''t think I''ve ever been that fucking scared before in my life,’ I admit. ‘And I''ve seen my parents get blown up in front of me.’


    ‘You WHAT?’ Amber jerks up and stares at me with a shocked expression.


    ‘Yeah, I uh… I''m an orphan, formally speaking,’ I tell her sheepishly. ‘My parents died when I was fourteen. They were in the kitchen when there was a gas explosion and part of the house blew up. They died instantly.’


    It feels a bit awkward to talk about this. Not only because I’ve never shared this part of myself with a woman I’m intimate with before, but because Amber has just had a pretty traumatic experience herself. It doesn''t seem like the time to be talking about fucked up things from my own past.


    ‘I''m so sorry Jake!’ Amber says empathically. ‘That must have been horrible! I can''t imagine what it must have been like losing your parents like that. What happened? I mean, what did you…?’ Amber is searching for the right words, but thankfully I''m saved by the sound of the water heater, signaling that it''s done.


    ‘That’s a conversation for another day,’ I say. I move Amber off my lap and sit her back down in the chair, so I can make her a cup of tea.


    ‘I’d like to hear about it, though,’ Amber says. She scrunches her nose. ‘Sorry, that came out wrong. I just meant… I mean, you already know a lot of my past. I would like to know a little more about yours. You don''t have to tell me of course, if you don’t want to, but–’


    I set the steaming mug on the table in front of Amber and place my hands on the back of her chair, caging her in. I determinedly press my lips against hers to interrupt her ramblings.


    ‘I''ll tell you about it someday,’ I promise her. ‘It’s not a secret, or anything. But right now you need to rest. Drink your tea. Take a hot shower, to warm up. Maybe try taking a nap. I don''t want you to crash too hard if you do come down after the adrenaline rush. I have to get back to work now, but I’m coming back tonight to check in on you. Alright?’


    ‘I’d like that,’ Amber smiles.


    ‘I''ll see you tonight then.’


    There’s no point in keeping my distance anymore. After what happened today, I don’t think I can stay away from her any longer, even if I wanted to. Clearly, Amber means too fucking much to me. It’s time that I start accepting my feelings instead of running away from them, as terrifying as that may be. I press a kiss on Amber’s forehead to say goodby, before I leave her quarters through her private entrance.


    ‘Jake?’ Amber calls out to me right when I step outside her door.


    I turn around and see her rushing after me. Amber stops right in front of me and looks at me hesitantly. Then she wraps her hands around my neck and roughly crashes her lips against mine. I can’t resist grabbing her waist and pulling her body close against mine, while we engage in a fiery kiss.


    ‘I just wanted to say thank you. For everything today,’ she says, smiling softly.


    ‘Anytime,’ I promise. I tilt my head and I give her a crooked smile. ‘But the next time you want a little spanking, just tell me, instead of coaxing one out of me like that, yeah? It might save me from a future heart attack.’


    ‘Or maybe you should just give me one every time you think I need it, so I don''t have to,’ Amber retorts. She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and I can''t help but laugh. Seriously, this woman! I grab her tightly for a final kiss, before I really have to get back.


    ‘Keep holding onto that thought, beautiful,’ I mumble against her lush lips. ‘I''ll see you tonight.’


    I walk backwards, still smiling at Amber, until she has closed her door. Then I turn around to continue my way back to the corral. I’ve barely walked three steps when I suddenly freeze. Zane is standing near the corner of the house. Judging by the look of dismay on his face, he just saw me kissing Amber.


    ‘Zane,’ I greet him cautiously. I slowly continue to walk in his direction. ‘What are you doing here?’


    ‘I came to check on Amber. I just got back and heard what happened. I wanted to see if she was okay. Is she…? Are you two…?’ he looks at me with a bewildered expression.


    ‘Zane…’ I begin gingerly. He seems upset.


    ‘No!’ Zane shouts angrily. ‘No, you can’t! You heard what Ray said. You screw with Amber and you’re out! What the fuck do you think you’re doing with her?’


    ‘That’s none of your business,’ I reply, calmly shaking my head at Zane.


    ‘The hell it is, you fucker!’ Zane sends me a furious look and as soon as I’m within reach of him, he gives me a hard shove.


    ‘Watch it, kid,’ I warn him, but I don’t do anything. I know he’s only eighteen. He’s barely old enough to be considered a man.


    ‘I’m not a kid! I’m your fucking coworker,’ Zane bites my head off. ‘You knew I was in love with Amber, but you went after her anyway. I saw her first, you asshole! You weren’t even here when she came to the ranch,’ he says angrily, his fists clenched.


    ‘That’s not how that works, Zane,’ I rebuke him sharply. ‘You don’t get a claim on a woman, just because you saw her first. Amber gets to decide for herself who and what she wants.’


    ‘Fuck you!’


    Zane lunges forward and tries to punch me, but I easily ward him off. I grab Zane’s punching arm and push his back against the brick wall of the house. I’m silently praying to that God of hers that Amber won’t hear us. I don’t want anything else to upset her after what she''s already been through today.


    ‘I’m going to let that go, just this once, because I know you have a crush on Amber,’ I tell Zane calmly. I give him a stern look. ‘But don’t you ever try to pull this shit on me again!’


    ‘You’re a bastard, Jake,’ Zane says, shaking his head dejectedly. I’m surprised to see that his eyes are glistening, but he is not trying to fight me anymore. ‘Amber is pure gold and you are just using her to get your dick wet. Don’t you have plenty of women for that already? At least half of the single girls at Pete’s are willing to spread their legs for you, anytime you ask. Aren’t they enough for you? Why do you have to use Amber too? She is way too good for that!’


    ‘You shouldn’t talk about stuff you don''t know shit about,’ I say curtly. I release Zane and take a step back.


    ‘Oh yeah?’ Zane challenges me, holding my gaze. ‘Then look me in the eye and tell me that I haven’t seen you at Pete’s these last couple of weeks, being all up in other women’s business, while Amber has been sitting here on the ranch by herself every night. How does that match with you dating her, or being her boyfriend?’


    ‘I’m not… I mean… It’s complicated, alright,’ I mutter awkwardly.


    I don’t really know how to respond to that. I mean, Zane is not completely wrong. I have been distant with Amber these last few weeks, and I have been going to Pete’s to try and get her off my mind. That was just because I had to come to grips with my own feelings though. I don''t plan on doing that anymore. But I also don’t know whether or not Amber wants everybody to know that we’re together. We are both employed at the ranch, after all. She might prefer to keep our relationship private for now, since she only just started working here. She’s already worried about fitting in and being accepted by everyone.


    ‘See, you can’t even fucking say it,’ Zane accuses me, looking at me in disgust. ‘I would have been so damn good to her! I would have treated her like the fucking queen she is, and not like some sort of cheap cum bucket,’ he spits out bitterly.


    ‘Watch your fucking mouth, Zane. You’re way out of line here,’ I warn him in a sharp tone.


    ‘Well, you better hope you don’t step out of line with Amber. I will be watching you, so you better not fuck it up and hurt her.’


    ‘Yeah, I know. Ray will fire my ass. Noted,’ I say curtly.


    ‘You better hope you’ll be that lucky,’ Zane says quietly, as he walks away from me. ‘That would mean there’s still enough of you left to even get fired.’