Chapter 74 AURORA No ! I leaped up from my desk so fast I knocked the heavy wooden chair over .


    Yes , the clone of me hissed .


    She rose and folded her arms across her chest in a superior way , then tilted her chin up so she was looking down her nose at me .


    Youve forgotten yourself .


    Who you were made to be .


    Raised to be .


    I took a step back , and the wicked version of myself answered by stepping around my desk .


    Dont run from it , Ann .


    You are a monster years in the making .


    I opened my mouth to argue that I was no monster , but nothing .


    came out .


    The other me picked my journal up off my desk and weighed it in her hand .


    Read this .


    Youll see .


    She offered it to me .


    I shook my head .


    Refused to take it .


    Her smile turned into an evil grimace .


    You wont go willingly ? Fine .


    Go by force .


    She lunged forward .


    The book fell open with her movement , and she shoved it into my face .


    I braced for the impact .


    But there was no impact .


    Chapter 74 2/6 Instead , when the pages hit me , the world went dark .


    My office was gone .


    The safe , cozy sights and scents of the Blue Ridge pack house were gone .


    Instead , there was the old , musty scent of basement and damp .


    stone .


    I looked around .


    I was in the Broken Forest pack house , where Id found the pages .


    I looked down at myself .


    Unlike my usual pastels or light neutrals , I wore ck .


    It made my skin look white as printer paper inparison .


    I touched my hair .


    It was long and pulled into a thick French braid that hung straight down my back .


    In the first instant , it was as alien to me as if Id been shoved into a new body .


    Then , like a door opening inside my mind , I realized it was familiar .


    All of this was familiar .


    This was me .


    It was the life Id lived for years .


    I was in a memory .


    I wasnt in my room this time but walking down a long hall .


    Chapter 74 3/6 Someone moved at my side .


    I didnt have to look to know it was Esther Reed .


    She looked tall , and that meant I had to be young .


    How old ? Yourtest mission was a failure , she snapped .


    Fear welled up in my belly .


    I knew what failure meant .


    Id bet whipped .


    Bled .


    When you served it , nothing could atone for failure except suffering .


    Mother , no ! I cried .


    My voice also sounded young .


    Was I 12 ? 13 ? No one seemed to know when my birthday was .


    This felt so wrong .


    I wanted to be a good servant .


    I wanted my mother to love me .


    But when I tried to do the evil things they made me do … Inside , my wolf whimpered .


    She didnt like this either .


    She had always been so weak and stunted , because I was weak and stunted .


    We werent enough .


    Esther interrupted my thoughts .


    Take her away .


    When her throat is raw from screaming , shell be allowed to try again .


    Burn the guilt from her .


    NO ! But Esther wouldnt listen .


    She turned aside and muttered something as hands grabbed me and started to drag me away , but I thought she said , Nameless help me , this one has been the hardest of all to break .


    Chapter 74 4/6 The memory shed , bouncing through scenes of torture that made me weep with remembered agony .


    Everything faded to darkness again the darkness of nightmares .


    Slowly , my heart started to turn cold .


    The next time I was aware , I stood outside with Esther and my Alpha , Waylon .


    They didnt look so tall , and when I looked down at my body , I could tell I was older .


    I felt … colder inside .


    Numb .


    My wolf was a weak , starving thing inside me .


    I tried to never shift because I was so ashamed .


    Let me see your hands , Esther snapped .


    I held them up .


    were covered in blood .


    I ambushed one of the Blue Ridge scouts .


    She was old .


    Easy to kill .


    Good , said Waylon .


    My father almost never spoke , and his praise warmed me like a fire on a cold night .


    But I wont allow you to sleep .


    Not until you kill two more .


    No food , either .


    It had been days since Id eaten .


    Days since I slept .


    My mind slipped from me , from that ce .


    Nothing felt clear .


    Nothing but my burning desire to serve them and their master .


    Yes , Alpha , I said .


    Waylon stepped forward and grabbed my chin .


    He looked down at my body , and a leer crossed his wrinkled face .


    Do well , and Chapter 74 Ill teach you other things .


    5/6 I swallowed , fear prickling in me .


    I crushed it .


    If I didnt seem cager to serve in every way , they would punish me .


    There would be pain , then less food , less sleep .


    Yes , Alpha .


    You cant use her like you do the others , Esther snapped as the scene started to fade .


    Remember , I have other ns for her … Everything faded again except the darkness , and pain .


    I was nothing and nowhere .


    All around was ck .


    As forever passed , someone cried .


    I think it was me .


    What do you desire ? The voice came from everywhere and nowhere , as if it was asked by the darkness itself .


    To be good , I answered without thought .


    Wrong .


    I know you , Ann Reed .


    Tell me , what do you desire ? It dug into my brain with cold ws , as if rummaging around for the answer it wanted .


    Then it showed the answer to me .


    I shuddered , and answered as if the words were pulled from my throat , Power , so that I can never be hurt again .


    Chapter 74 Thats right , the darkness whispered .


    And I have Would you like to see ?