《CHaOS Caracole》 01 Comeuppance for My Life of Procrastination ---=Chapter 1: Comeuppance for My Life of Procrastination---= Humanity has an evolved sense of our own mortality. We''re always on high alert, looking for anything that might be dangerous. Ideally, we would then avoid the danger, yet, in a fit of rebellion against the hubris of sentience, we often fling ourselves straight into that danger instead. The point is, we always thought we''d see our end coming. Even if it was too late and our collective concern was too weak, we believed we''d be able to point at the asteroid or bomb or robot or god or disease and identify our killer. And maybe there were those out there who knew what would happen and didn''t share or weren''t heard. From what I could tell, nobody had a fucking clue what was going on, and we were all going to die. For better or worse, Silicon Valley, everything from San Jose to San Francisco, is now an inland ocean extending a hundred miles east. It began with an explosion in some business park; glowing green smoke began to billow up and around the area. The luminous smoke didn''t spread quickly, but more kept coming until it rolled forward like a dense cloud bank. People overtaken by the smoke didn''t come back out. Nothing did, not even sound. It spread for a few blocks, then began to rotate and churn, forming a slowly-turning column of ethereal smoke. The strange vortex was barricaded off, and the surrounding areas were evacuated. Black government vans and people in hazmat suits swooped in to take over quarantine and examination of the site, and the talking heads of the news-media discussed the potentially dangerous chemicals raining down across the area. They spoke of the danger of the silicon elites and their god complexes or the tragedy of the lives lost in those first hours. For them, the danger seemed distant, hypothetical, and contained. They were wrong. What went up eventually came down. Over the course of the day, more and more glowing green smoke rose into the sky and spread out, rotating back west as it reached the mountains. When it came down, it came down slow and dense. Glowing green wisps of smoke or fog swirled together to create a giant vortex a hundred miles wide. The swirling haze that defined the eye of the vortex formed a thin, slowly moving wall only a few meters thick. The currents moved like molasses, and the air was barely disturbed by it. The only sense of danger came from the stillness and silence as it lowered to the ground like some sort of sci-fi barrier. Its slow descent gave people time to evacuate the area, but people were more curious than afraid. Despite warnings to avoid the glowing green gas, people stood on either side watching as it lowered; some even stood directly beneath it. Their deaths sparked the panic. Silent bodies began to collapse to the ground, heads vaporized or eaten by caustic haze in a moment. Some of the smarter dumb-asses only lost hands, but their screams of pain worked just as well to inspire panicked epiphany. Here and there, people dove under the lowering vortex to join family and friends or escape being trapped inside. However, most people backed away from the haze in learned fear. Then the vortex finished lowering, and everyone held their breath¡ªwaiting for the other shoe to drop. For a month, there was nothing from inside the vortex. Zero communication of any kind made it out. For a month, the vortex slowly churned. With a large perimeter across varied terrain, it wasn''t easy to keep secure. So, no one was surprised when people began to find ways around cordons to poke and prod the green haze. This led to more lost limbs, but it also meant that people had a chance to experiment on it, to get measurements and answers, or so was the thought. After a month, there were still no answers. No one was able to even collect a sample. The vortex haze ignored physics and defied reason as it ate anything it touched in a moment, leaving no trace. Or so they reported. The experts kept saying that it was too early to know what it was with any certainty. Which didn''t stop random pundits from chiming in to give their opinions. Soon a new problem was noticed; green clouds started to expand from the vortex''s base, spreading out in the upper atmosphere and beginning to blanket the world. It wasn''t just religious zealots crying that the end was near; astrophysicists and climate scientists also sounded urgent alarms. Nations met in open and secret to discuss the quickly closing sky. Fingers were pointed and fists shaken, but there were no new wars, at least. No one knew if the vortex around Silicon Valley would ever stop, but a week ago, it finally lifted. Raised right back into the sky, every bit as slow as it had lowered. But the green clouds didn''t disperse. They churned with eddies of light that flickered and danced like ceaseless and silent lightning. Below the angry sky, ocean water poured in to fill the shallow sea where cities and lives had once been. There was no sign of anything above sea level and no explanation for what happened to everything and everyone that had been there. The turbulence of the newborn sea made it impossible to search at first, so even from the start, there was little hope of finding any survivors among the millions lost. Not so The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.much as a single body was found. Despite the catastrophic loss, the tragedy and shock brought hope as well. Hope that the glowing clouds covering the world would also soon vanish, and we could all go back to living our lives. They didn''t. And we didn''t. A few days later, smaller vortexes, a mile or three across, began to fall on population centers around the world. GPS and Satellite communication had stopped working as the green clouds engulfed the world. As vortexes lowered on cities, transoceanic cables were cut, severing network hubs until the internet could be considered sporadic at best. With the spread of the green haze overhead, the atmosphere had also stopped reflecting most radio waves. Ham-radios, often relied on in times of emergency, had stopped working beyond a few miles. Some websites still worked, depending on where you lived, but broken links were everywhere, and whole sites kept failing. There were forums dedicated to tracking the fall of internet titans. Between doom-scrolling through one of the last working internet forums and downloading as many survival how-to''s as I could find, I was also packing. My roommate and I were joining his parents at a cabin "until it all blows over." It seemed pretty unlikely any of this would simply "blow over." Even if nothing else were to be destroyed, some of the most populous and consequential cities were already gone. Jon''s Parents weren''t my favorite people, but they had the cabin in the dense and food-rich forest, so I''d have to remember to hold my tongue. The truth was, things would never blow over. The world would never again be the one I knew. Shitty as it could be, I didn''t want to watch society eat itself to survive. So I''d go live in a cabin with people who acted like it was their job to judge my life. They may not have been my parents, but I''d known them since I was ten, and they had always acted like they needed to be¡ªthey thought my real parents were fucking it up. They weren''t especially wrong. In reality, the only one I actually considered family was Jon. We''d been brothers in all but blood since we met. When we started hanging out all the time, his parents teased him for having a "girlfriend." Even back then, I already knew who I was, and Jon didn''t question it when I told him I couldn''t be his girlfriend because I wasn''t a girl. There was some hormone-driven confusion on his part during high school that required me to kick his ass, but other than that, we''d always been brothers. "Dammit-Sam, put down your phone and look out a window. We gotta go." Jon said as he walked into the apartment. In my room, I lowered my phone in exasperation. "I''m packing. Why? What''s going on outside?" I really was packing too, but I''d also just found a pdf titled "Stone Age to Industrial Age, a Survivalist How-To." "There''s a vortex circling the town; we gotta go," Jon said, poking his head into my room. "Come on, grab what you can''t live without, and let''s go." "Shit," I said, scrambling to my feet and stuffing things haphazardly into my bags. We''d been planning on heading out tonight after Jon''s last shift. Now my timetable, such as it was, had been scrapped. Jon looked at me with confusion. "Okay, I need to grab my stuff real quick; it''ll take 2 seconds, but first, what are you wearing?" I snorted despite myself. I''d forgotten that I was wearing a tinfoil hat. "Look, I''ve been downloading a lot of survivalist literature, and the overlap between that and conspiracy shit is not small, so it fit my mood. And yeah, grab your stuff; I''ll meet you at your car." "It''s still at the station, so we''re taking my patrol car; it''s parked out front." "Uh, isn''t that kind of stealing?" "Technically, I''m still on duty. Besides, I''m basically saving taxpayer property. Now, chop-chop." I shrugged. "Works for me." I hoisted up my bags a minute later and glanced around, searching for anything I''d missed. There was a lot I wanted to take, but time was limited, and there was no way I wouldn''t find things to regret about this moment anyway. My world was shattering, and my heart was desperate to sink, but my world had shattered before, and I was still here. I took a breath and blanked my mind, refusing to acknowledge the coming heartache. It was time to go. Jon came down the stairs of the apartment behind me. He had three bags draped over his person and a box of what looked like random shit he''d scooped off counters and tables. "One of us isn''t taking this seriously," He said, looking at my two bags. "I had only just started packing. I guess I finally got some comeuppance for my life of procrastination." I sighed dramatically. The green vortex was hard to make out against the matching green of the clouds, but squinting, I could barely see the barrier''s edge. It was still high up in the air, but it was hard to tell how high. Above any of the local 10 and 20-story high-rises by far. But beyond that was hard to gauge. The vortexes ranged in size, and I couldn''t tell if it was close or large. "I can''t help wondering what we''re forgetting," Jon said. "It''s the end of the world. I imagine we''ll run out of everything eventually anyway¡ªif we aren''t destroyed by the haze first." Jon made a face. "We can''t just give up, though." "Sure, but that doesn''t mean we can''t accept there are things beyond our control. Sometimes all you can do is grin and give life the finger while it fucks you over." "Good Lord, Sam." "Just ''Sam'' is fine," I quipped. "When my parents end up killing you, I''m the one that''ll get stuck burying your body, just so you know." "I''d have it no other way. Have you heard from them?" Jon was close with his parents despite their judgmental attitude, maybe because of it. He was pretty much their perfect son, what he let them see anyway. "No, not since yesterday. My phone didn''t have great service even before the haze; at this point, it''s basically just a solitaire game." "You wanna try mine?" I asked. Jon shook his head. "They''re probably already at the cabin; almost no chance they have service either. Besides, we''ll be there in a few hours." Jon closed the trunk of the car after loading up most of the bags. He handed me a plastic bag he''d kept out. "Can''t have a road trip without snacks," he said as if I would argue. I snorted and held up the backpack I''d kept out, "Dude, who do you think you''re talking to?" 02 Everybody Buckle Up --=-Chapter 2: Everybody Buckle Up--=- I climbed into the car, and just as Jon was about to join me, he lowered his sunglasses and asked, "What fresh hell is this then?" A young, blonde-haired, white girl was running at the car, waving her hands. Half a block behind her was a middle-aged black guy who appeared to be trying to run as well, but slower. "Wait!" she called, and Jon stepped out of the car. "Hey, is everything alright? Is that guy behind you chasing you?" I felt like smacking my forehead in exasperation; the man was clearly out of shape and still approaching, although he was holding his side and walking now. In any case, Jon sometimes over-relied on his police training and assumed danger as a matter of course. It was a bad habit of his¡ªand not entirely due to training. He was kind of an anxious person by default. The girl was red-faced and breathing hard as well. "That''s my dad," she said with that disdainful attitude kids often perfect in middle school. It was clearly not the first time someone had asked that kind of question. ¡°We need a ride to the hospital,¡± she said, moving on. Jon blushed and cleared his throat. ¡°Well, I''m not an ambulance. Is someone hurt?" Her dad was getting closer now and was walking with a small limp. It felt too awkward to stay in the car, so I got out and stood in the door frame so I could join the conversation. The girl pointed at the sky in the distance. ¡°The vortex is coming down. My sister and mom are at the hospital. We''re trying to get to them and get out of town, but Mom has the car." The man was close enough that Jon decided to call out to him. "She says you guys need a ride to the hospital." The man nodded and jogged the last few yards before speaking. "Please, my wife and daughter are there. I need to get to them. I don''t understand why there''s no siren; the vortex is coming down as we speak." ¡°A siren would send people looking for cover at best. The main roads have been turned into one-ways, with officers directing traffic out of town. People are already flooding the main roads. Luckily, the hospital is on the way and might even be outside this thing. Hop in." Jon unlocked the back doors, and they let themselves into the back, divided from the front by a steel cage. I gave Jon a look as we sat down in front. "You didn''t have to go direct traffic?" I asked. Jon shrugged but looked troubled. "No, Sam, I didn''t. They can''t ask me to die for strangers. They stationed me in the middle of town and told me to drive down the streets, announcing the evacuation order over the loudspeaker alone. They told me to stay as long as I could. Well, that time passed a long time ago. I warned who I could. And now we''re leaving." Jon looked upset by the time he finished, and I regretted bringing it up, which didn''t stop the girl from adding, ¡°Nobody knows what''s happening, though. Can''t you talk over your speakers as we drive to tell them to run?" ¡°I think it would just create a panic," Jon said. His tone was gentle but didn''t invite argument. "It seems too quiet," the girl argued anyway. I looked around and realized she was right. There were cars on the road, but it wasn''t busy. ¡° Sweetheart, I''m sure everything is under control." Her dad told her. Jon started the car and backed out of his parking spot. Then he picked up his radio microphone and handed it to me. ¡°I¡¯ll turn on the lights and drive as slow as I can, but the sky is falling, and we can¡¯t afford to go slow. Okay?¡± The girl smiled from ear to ear. I thought briefly about what to say before shrugging and deciding to calmly and clearly enunciate the word "Evacuate" every few seconds. It wasn''t the clearest warning, but it was straight to the point. Besides, most people would probably guess the reason, assuming they took us seriously. The patrol car''s flashing lights would hopefully add enough legitimacy that people would at least look up and see the need for themselves. The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. Jon pulled the car out of the parking lot. "So, you might have caught it, but my name''s Jon, and next to me is Sam," he said, striking up a conversation with the two passengers. The man¡¯s name was Titus, and his daughter was Nia. Titus¡¯s adult daughter worked at the hospital as a surgeon. His wife, Nia¡¯s mother, was a pastor who worked in the hospital and held services in the chapel. Then they started comparing theories on what the vortex was. ¡°It¡¯s got to be aliens, right?¡± Jon said. ¡°I mean, America is probably the most technologically advanced and saturated culture in the world, and we can¡¯t even approach the kind of technology it would take to create a smart gas that defies physics.¡± ¡°My mom says it¡¯s the rapture.¡± Jon and I shared a look, and I had to try not to laugh. It was precious. ¡°Well, she is a pastor or whatever," Jon said. "Not exactly what I pictured when I thought about there being ''Two people in a field, one taken, one left.'' But I suppose that the ''people'' could be metaphors for cities, So I could see how you could make an argument that this is the rapture." Jon looked thoughtful, and this time I couldn''t help but snort. ¡°Can I ask what do you think it is?" Titus asked. I repeated "Evacuate¡­ Evacuate¡­ Evacuate" into the microphone before pausing my broadcast and responding. ¡°Could be aliens.¡± "Well, technically, God and angels could be considered aliens," Jon pointed out. "What about you, Titus? Do you agree with your wife that this an act of God?" ¡°I don¡¯t know; Kay and I disagree about a lot where religion is concerned. But that¡¯s okay, right Nia?¡± Nia gave an exaggerated shrug and roll of her eyes. ¡°That¡¯s what you say when you aren¡¯t fighting anyway.¡± ¡°Anyway," Titus went on, "I suppose I think it''s something the government did that got out of control. Something sci-fi, probably. So it could be aliens, or some sleeping god, or a rogue ai trying to turn us all into batteries. I would be pretty surprised if a tinfoil hat stopped whatever it is, though." Nia giggled. "Yeah, that''s stu-silly; why are you wearing that?" ¡°Because it¡¯s aliens,¡± I said, playfully jutting my chin out to display my stubbornness before returning to my mantra. In truth, I''d forgotten I was wearing it again, but I wouldn''t dampen the moment of levity by taking it off. It might be the last one for a long time. "Hey, Jon," Titus said. "I think we better speed up." He was bent over and looking up at the sky, focusing on one of the high-rises, and then I saw what had caught his attention. The Haze of the vortex was beginning to pass in front of its highest level. A fair number of cars were beginning to line up behind us, avoiding turns that would take them past us. We were almost becoming an impediment to traffic. People began to honk. We weren''t the only ones to see how low the vortex was getting. Jon sped up and was soon exceeding the speed limit. I kept announcing the evacuation notice, but I wasn''t sure it would be intelligible to those who heard it. Time was short for everyone. No matter how many people heard us and escaped, I knew there would still be many people trapped before they even knew there was a problem. Only the initial vortex in California had lifted. The smaller vortexes that had just started lowering showed no signs of dispersing or lifting yet. Because of this, there wasn''t much solid information on what happened inside the vortexes, only that everything had apparently been vaporized in California. A lot of people here in Forest Lake were about to find out for sure. Nothing Jon or I could do would change that. I lowered the radio and stared out the window as we entered downtown. The parking lots were mostly empty, but as we drove on, I saw some people walking away from a store pushing carts full of stuff. ¡°Fucking looters,¡± Jon said. ¡°It''s going to be destroyed anyway," I replied before picking up the radio and repeating the word "evacuate" a few times. It sent the group running, but probably not escaping. ¡°It''s the principle. Sure, take stuff you need in an emergency like this and pay it back later if you can. But TVs? They''re just out for themselves." Jon said. ¡°They''re just trying to survive¡ªbadly," I argued. ¡°Luckily for them, we''ve got somewhere to be and no time to get there." Jon was looking up at the high-rise, measuring the vortex wall''s height for us. The lowering vortex now hid a third of the twenty-story measuring stick. "What in the freshest of hells is this now?" An empty police car with flashing lights was parked on the south side of the intersection we were approaching. "There''s supposed to be someone directing all traffic to go north from here," Jon said, looking around for the person who was supposed to be in charge. ¡°Maybe they left to get out of town too?¡± I asked. ¡°They should have at least radioed in.¡± Jon picked up his radio, ¡°Dispatch,¡± he said into it before releasing the button and waiting. Jon pulled his squad car up next to the apparently abandoned car. Dispatch hadn¡¯t replied. ¡°Oh right, dispatch did get the evac order." He brought the radio back up to his mouth, "This is car 22, to any available officer. Does anyone know anything about car 14? It''s abandoned here on North State." There was no answer. Jon bit his lip and spoke into the microphone again. "This is car 22; looking for any copy." Silence was the only response. "Shit. Well, either my radio is broken, or we''re alone," Jon said, raising his radio to speak into it again. "This is car 22. I may not be receiving. On the off-chance that there''s someone out there who can copy, Car 14 has been abandoned. The intersection of State and Court is abandoned. I have two civilians in need of the hospital. I''m going to lead a caravan of cars north on State''s southbound pass to try to get things moving. Then I''ll evac. See you on the other side, gentlemen.¡± Jon had turned off his flashing lights when I¡¯d stopped my evacuation announcement, but he turned them back on now. Traffic primarily occupied the right two lanes while heading north. The left lane was mostly empty, with just a few cars trying to go south. "Alright, everybody, buckle up; we''re going north in a southbound lane." -=- -== 03 Now Isnt The Time --== Chapter 3: Now Isn''t The Time--== Jon flicked on the lights and siren and began pulling into traffic, going the wrong way. He started slowly, and we extended our arms out of the window, waving for the traffic behind us to follow him. As cars began to fall in behind him, he gradually sped up and pulled people in his wake. Soon, there was a stream of cars following us. There were a few southbound cars, but they had to pull off the road when they saw the caravan coming. ¡°Jon, look," I said, pointing ahead where we could see the hospital coming into view. The vortex wall was coming right down on top of it. The vortex was getting low; it was only 8 or 9 stories above the ground now. Jon sped up. More flashing lights were in front of us, past the intersection near the hospital. This patrol car was abandoned too. Beyond it, a jackknifed semi-truck with a flipped trailer blocked most of the road. A disordered line of cars was driving on the shoulder to escape town, but it was narrow and slow and backed up northbound traffic. Our caravan was stuck. ¡°I don¡¯t know if you have to deal with this,¡± Titus said. ¡°But if so, you can let us out here; the hospital is right there.¡± "We''re further away than it seems¨Cyou''ll never make it," Jon said. "You can practically see the vortex lowering. What''s left, six stories? Five?" "We''ll take our chances," Titus said, trying the door as Jon slowed to stop. "Can you unlock the doors, please?" "Sorry, those handles are disengaged; the doors only open from the outside," Jon told Titus. ¡°Isn''t there a bike path behind the hospital that leads north to the nature preserve?¡± I asked. ¡°We could drop them off on the way.¡± ¡°There is, but there¡¯s a locked gate blocking it.¡± Titus said. ¡°I might have a way to open it," Jon said. ¡°Please drop me off first; I need to get my daughter and wife.¡± The traffic following us north struggled to merge into the unblocked right lane, but it was slow, and Jon felt responsible for them. He had turned off his sirens as they approached the intersection and the abandoned patrol car. But he turned them on again and waved for cars to follow him. "Sorry, Titus, these people need me to guide them to that gate. I''ll let you out when we get to the gate. I''ll have to cut that lock anyway." Titus didn''t look happy, but Jon was already turning left into the hospital parking lot. The bike path was behind the hospital but further from the hospital than the intersection. ¡°Why don''t we drop them off there?" I asked, gesturing at the Ambulance bay we were approaching on the right. Jon kept his voice low. ¡°When we round the corner, look at the vortex¡ªit¡¯s speeding up. I bet we¡¯re down another story already. "Chances are, their family were the first ones evacuated. Part of the hospital isn''t even inside the boundary. His family''s fine, but I''m not about to let him get himself, and that little girl killed because he''s afraid they aren''t." I could see his point, but I wasn''t convinced the decision was his to make for them. He was probably right, though. I didn''t know if the vortex was actually lowering more quickly or if it was just easier to tell its speed as we got closer. Either way, time was depressingly short. We passed the side of the building, and I could see Jon was right¨Dif anything, he''d underestimated how fast it was lowering. ¡°Jon," I said, "I don''t think we even have time to get out and cut a bolt. We need to get past that vortex. Now." ¡°How?¡± Jon snapped. ¡°We¡¯ll just have to drive through or around the barricade.¡± This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience. ¡°Won''t work," Titus said. "The crossbar is solid steel connected to a cement pylon. You can''t just ram it." ¡°There!" Nia called and pointed at the entrance to the parking lot Jon was about to pass. "That parking lot connects to another parking lot past the vortex!" Jon whipped the wheel to the right, causing the tires to squeal as we rounded the corner. ¡°Fingers crossed,¡± he said as we leaned into the turn. Fewer cars had followed us this far than I¡¯d expected. Only about a half dozen cars took the turn to follow us, but I doubted all of them would make it in time. Did they realize it was suicide to drive through the vortex? Then again, would it be better to be trapped and face a month of certain doom or die quickly in a desperate escape attempt? Jon was speeding across the parking lot, sirens going, racing toward the bottom edge of the vortex a football field away. The problem with going behind the hospital was that we''d been forced to go uphill. The vortex''s descent really was speeding up as well. We were too late. There was no way we''d make it out. "Jon, we''re not going to make it," I said, sighing in defeat. "You have to stop." We''d thought we had more time. ¡°No, we can make it. We''ll drive straight through." ¡°Jon, no!¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve seen what it does to people. It eats through anything in a second.¡± ¡°Everyone, get low¡ªit¡¯s our only shot.¡± Instead of slowing down, Jon accelerated, trying to beat the vortex. There was no chance. The vortex was already too low for anything but a quick death. Suddenly, 30 days to search for a solution didn''t seem too bad. I grabbed the wheel and twisted it left, steering us into a parked van feet from the vortex wall. The noise was deafening as the van buckled and the car spun almost 180 degrees. The crash tossed us around as we skidded and spun, still headed toward the vortex wall. I could only curl up and try to pull away from the vortex in the chaos. In the side-view mirror, I saw the back passenger side of the car skid into the vortex, taking Titus with it. Finally,The car stopped with a lurch. The front end hopped as the back right tire vanished before finally settling back on three wheels. Nia was screaming, and I was half curled into the fetal position¡ªI had raised one arm to shield my head and lifted my leg away from both the door and the vortex wall. I was inches from the deadly barrier¡ªclose enough that I felt a growing static pull on my arm and the back of my neck. With a snap, energy pierced my hand, the tinfoil hat, and my head. Light flashed in my eyes, and I felt a pulse surge through me like a bass drop just before I blacked out. I couldn¡¯t have been out for long; as I blinked awake, I saw the cars that had been following us. Through Jon''s window, I watched helplessly as our desperate caravan of half a dozen cars drove unwavering, one after another, to their deaths in the vortex.I shivered and pulled myself away from whatever that glowing haze actually was. Nia was keening in the back, a high-pitched whine following ragged inhales. I didn''t know what to say. I was sorry, and my heart ached thinking about what Nia must be feeling. Her dad had been right there moments ago. Mostly I was pissed. The only reason I didn''t start yelling at Jon was that this wasn''t the place. "Dammit, Sam!" Jon swore, apparently deciding this was the place. ¡°What," I said, looking him in the eye and squaring up from my seat. Jon turned his head to better glare at me but only said, "We could have made it." ¡°No,¡± I said, ¡°we couldn¡¯t. But now isn¡¯t the time. Let¡¯s get out and away from this thing." The car had settled at an angle to the vortex, with most of the trunk, half the back seat, and a portion of my door extending past the boundary''s edge. Jon exited as dramatically as he could, slamming the door behind him after getting out. I scooted across the center console and added a little drama to my own exit. Jon opened the door to let Nia out and crouched down. ¡°Nia, I¡¯m sorry about your dad¡ª Is that..." Jon''s voice got shaky at the end. "Oh my god," he said, then he turned and vomited. As soon as he was out of the way, Nia got out and began to run, crying and clutching something to her chest. After a few meters, she tripped and fell, dropping what she had been protecting. her dad''s severed arm flopped across the pavement, and I immediately understood why Jon had vomited. I had known Titus didn''t make it, but this... this would be traumatizing. Nia scrabbled up and hurried to grab the arm and hug it to herself, crying. I couldn¡¯t decide if it would be better to take the arm or let her hold onto it. It can''t be healthy for a child to carry their own father''s severed arm, right? A flash of light from the vortex blinded me, and we all cried out. It was followed by a low rumble in the air, like thunder so deep that it was felt, not heard. It left me feeling disoriented and dizzy. I lost my train of thought, and then the blinding green light flashed several times in a row, followed by more inaudible thunder. I fell to my knees, and my world spun. A dense fog had appeared from nowhere, muffling both sight and sound. From where I knelt, I tried to brace myself for more waves of light and sound to disorient me more. I felt like the fog was weighing down my arms and legs, both keeping me from standing and holding me in place at once. I could see Jon and Nia were also down and still. I couldn''t move, couldn''t breathe, couldn''t think, couldn''t brace myself in any way. The light and silent thunder came again, and when the flash ended, a portion of it lingered in the fog. A web of light danced in empty air, its form shifting like light dappling the bottom of a pool on a sunny day. It looked like a wire frame model of an anorexic cloud, made of light. It started to grow, it''s branches of light extending, splitting again and again, like cracks in the fabric of reality. As the web expanded, its light also dimmed, and I wondered if the phenomenon was disappearing as quickly as it had formed. Instead,it split and rebounded into 3 distinct light-webs that quickly grew to the same size and brightness as the original. Then they began to drift like seaweed in the tide. They weren''t move quickly, but they were coming directly toward us. I¡¯d like to say that, not knowing what would happen if those ethereal lights touched us, I doubled my efforts to stand. The truth is, I didn¡¯t even think to be scared of the strange lights. Then a tendril of energy shot from one Web like a whip and pierced Nia¡¯s head with a sizzle and hiss that sounded like metal being quenched. I would have screamed, but I couldn¡¯t get air. Nia¡¯s body, though already unmoving from to the invisible weight holding us down, seemed to relax. Jon, on the other hand, tensed. It was the only sign of his struggle, but I had no doubt he was fighting with everything he had. A light web got to him next, and I could only watch as the back of his head was pierced by another light whip with another snapping hiss of cauterized skin and bone. Nia''s innocence hadn''t protected her, and Jon''s struggles hadn''t saved him. What a random existence Breathing out a last breath, I closed my eyes so I didn¡¯t have to watch the glowing web drift ever closer. I stopped struggling, accepting the inevitable¡ªonly to find myself back in the car, flinching away from the vortex wall. 04 Im going to get shot. I''m going to get shot.---= This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report. 05 Smash it in the Fucking Face --=-Chapter 5: Smash it in the Fucking Face--=- I walked up the ramp to the hospital entrance feeling extremely conspicuous. Something about it reminded me of a rule of burglary, as learned from Hollywood, "always pretend like you''re exactly where you''re supposed to be." Though, I wasn''t sure that sentiment could be applied to glowing blue wolf-men. I couldn''t very well grab a clipboard and pass myself off as a professional monster after all. Hey, now, that might be a thought, I thought. I was very lifelike, probably a byproduct of being alive, but I was also impossible. If I could keep my face still or develop some set patterns to give myself an animatronic look, I could potentially fool anyone who just stumbled upon me. Of course, It wouldn''t work as well if, nightmare-made-flesh that I am, I stumbled upon them instead. I wasn''t going to learn much standing around, though. I''d have to lean on my superhero cosplay plan. I knew how to ham it up in a costume; I''d even done some clown work in high school. It would either work or it wouldn''t. Stepping into the doorway, I put my paws-hands on my hips and stood as straight-backed and square-shouldered as I could. The Peter Pan pose. I turned my head and saw an empty lobby. Well, there''d been no way to know, but better safe than sorry, as they say. The lobby wasn''t large. It has a long front desk and a single unisex bathroom. There were a few padded chairs against the wall by the entrance, but this was clearly more of a reception area than a waiting room. If I remembered right, Nia''s mom worked in the chapel as a minister. She probably visited patient rooms all over the hospital, though, so she could be anywhere. Nia''s sister, Alice, was a surgeon and should be near the operating rooms. Jon would probably let Nia take the lead, so they''d presumably go looking for Nia''s Mom, Kay. That assumed Nia had any idea how to find her mom or sister in the hospital. I hadn''t ever visited my mom''s office anyway. Kay still seemed like the better bet. Even if Jon also decided it would be easier to find Alice, Nia probably wanted her mom at this moment. Then again, they''d both probably evacuated the hospital. I wasn''t sure what Jon would do if that was the case. There was a map on the wall by the desk; the claws of my feet clicked on the tile like a dog''s as I walked toward it. My nose twitched; a scent I couldn''t quite place tickled my senses. It dawned on me as I walked past the edge of the desk. I was smelling blood. There was a body lying there. A pool of blood expanded out from where its head should be. A cold chill started behind my jaw and worked down my spine, nausea gripping me, and I wanted to run. Instead, I froze with dread and yammering denial. My eyes flickered around, scanning the room; my ears twitched, listening for any sound that might forewarn danger. A drop of blood fell from above me, splattering in the pool of blood. My eyes flicked up, registering a shape on the ceiling. It looked like some unholy cross between a person and a grasshopper. It was glowing like me, but the light was green¨C the same shade as the vortex wall. It had no clothes, only pale skin like a corpse. It was almost human-shaped around the shoulders and hips, except its four limbs were slender and insectile¡ªbut with 3 fingered ''hands.'' Its oblong body was about the size of a golden retriever and mostly featureless. It didn''t have a neck or distinct head. Instead, it had a maw at one end, like a lamprey, with a pale eye flanking it on either side. Each eye took up nearly half its pseudo-head and bulged out, probably giving it 360-degree vision. Three of its four limbs were against the ceiling. Holding it to the drop ceiling in a way I would have thought impossible. Its body was tilted, one eye looking straight at me, as it stuffed a bloody globule into its circular maw with surprisingly dexterous fingers, each one clawed. Blanching, I tried to backpedal and run. My feet slipped and skidded, and when I struck the ground, I thought I had just tripped. Then my senses started catching up and reporting. The thing had leaped at me. In a blink, it had smashed into my chest, teeth first, before immediately jumping away. I scrambled to get back on my feet and bring it back into my line of sight. My chest screamed where it had hit me, and I looked down briefly to see a ragged wound the size of a baseball bitten into my flesh. I was surprised to see actual blood and muscle, not just blackness, though both were very dark in the blue light of my fur. The creature was adjusting its feet; I backed away, holding my wound, and looked for something to use as a weapon. Its pale eyes were lidless and blended neatly with its similarly pale flesh. It almost looked eyeless. It was like a giant Slenderman version of a grasshopper. Even though its eyes were indistinct, I could tell it was tracking me, hunting me by watching its body. Readying itself to jump, it contracted its limbs, further increasing its resemblance to a grasshopper. I started running away at an angle to it, hefting my bag onto my shoulder. I was watching it, trying to be ready to dodge. My only idea was to get one of the chairs from near the doors; it was the closest thing to a weapon I could see. With a snap, the giant cryptid flung itself at me. I threw myself out of the way, but it was either a feint or bad aim; it would have missed me even if I hadn''t dodged. It hit the wall behind me and immediately kicked off, flying at my back. I was still wrong-footed and couldn''t get out of the way a second time. There was a sharp pain as its speed and weight hammered its maw of razors right below my shoulder blade. I opened my mouth, letting out a mental scream I couldn''t voice, and my vision whited out for a moment. I was thrown to the floor. The creature had once again leaped away immediately after striking. Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. Panic was rising in me. I knew I''d be whimpering if I could make any sound. And once again, I was scrambling to get my feet beneath me, trying desperately to make it back outside. The creature hit me again before I could do either. While I was still reeling, it hit me a fourth time. There was a sharp pain with each strike, a fire that begged for screams I couldn''t make. Only my panic was keeping me from being overwhelmed by pain. I had heard that people scream because it''s a natural pain reliever. I didn''t know if that was true, but I wished I could have at least tried. At this point, I was just lying in a fetal position covering myself with my arms and legs as best as I could, but dark red blood was beginning to pool around me. "Oberon! Oberon!" I heard a voice say. And I heard footsteps as someone came running. I didn''t know what they were saying¡ªor if it was even English. I didn''t know if they would understand me even if I could speak. I couldn''t help them. I couldn''t warn them to run. I Couldn''t even whimper or do anything except look pitiful. The feet came skidding to a stop in front of me. They looked familiar. They were small, and they were also glowing green like the vortex. More trouble? I wondered, feeling weakness growing in my limbs. "Oberon," her voice was surprised, "What happened?" And now I recognized it. It was Nia. What was she doing here, and why was she calling me Oberon? Did I accidentally dress up as an actual superhero? That would be weird. I felt weak, but I tried to get up. Nia was going to be killed standing over me. It was impossible, futile. I collapsed back into a heap, hardly able to move. I managed to reposition myself enough to be able to see Nia. If I could catch her eye, I could maybe warn her. But she wasn''t looking at me. She was already tracking the monster grasshopper. Slowly, she leaned down to grab the backpack strap I was still holding without looking away. "Let me borrow this," she said, taking the bag from my weak grip. Her whole body had a glowing green aura¡ªsofter than mine or the grasshopper''s¡ªbut still clearly visible. She also had horns growing from her head and what looked like green bat wings curled up at her back. Her eyes were locked on the danger, and she mumbled as though repeating something she''d been told. "Wait till it crouches, then..." I was exhausted and dreading what was about to happen. She was right by the exit; she could get out. Run! This isn''t a magic fucking school, and you aren''t a fucking wizard. Children shouldn''t fight monsters! I wanted to scream my thoughts at her. I wanted to rage at her stupidity, she didn''t even know me, and I was bleeding out anyway. Maybe if she were a doctor or a vet, but that was 20 years down the road. I didn''t want her help. With another effort of will, I tried to pull myself together. I should be able to do this! I screamed at myself as my body failed to listen. I just needed to get her out the door. It would leap any moment. Its legs contracted, and I knew I had failed. Then I saw Nia''s grip on the backpack tighten, and she began to turn. Her back to the monster, it leaped, and I could only watch. Spinning, she brought the bag whipping up and around her to collide hard with the creature in mid-air. Her swing sent the monster grasshopper flying across the room, and I felt my mouth fall open in surprise. Nia stumbled as she stopped her spin, but only for a moment. The next moment she dropped my bag and began sprinting across the lobby. Grabbing one of the padded chairs by the door as Nia lifted it to her shoulder and ran at the monster. She wielded her weapon as though it were a light pillow, not a heavy wooden chair with padded leather seats that it actually was. The creature didn''t manage to get its feet under it before Nia brought the chair, smashing down on top of it, crushing its head in a splatter of black gore that also glowed green. "Then smash it in the fucking face," Nia said, completing the sentence she began at the start. Wait till it crouches. Nia ran to the desk that hid the body. When she got there, she squeezed her eyes shut in a complex mix of emotions. I wondered if they had been someone she knew. I supposed I''d probably never know. My limbs weren''t responding at all anymore. My breathing was ragged and weak. My eyes followed Nia as she walked back toward me. "Oh, Oberon. What happened?" She asked again as she crouched down in front of me and patted me between my ears, gently scratching the top of my head like I was a dog. "I''m sorry; it''ll be over soon. I wish I could help you. I wish Alice had lived. I hate having to do this alone. People don''t listen. Please, Oberon, please save my sister next time; I need..." But she was right; my end was coming. Her words felt more distant by the moment, and now I couldn''t focus enough to hear more than a murmur. What a random existence I had a moment to realize that''s the same thought I had the last time I''d¡ª. ¡ªThe paralyzing weight of imminent death vanished. I was back in the car. The fever dream of a moment ago was gone. The weak limbs; the burning pain; the feelings of despair; all of it was gone. Again. Locked in the back seat behind me, Nia began to scream. --=- --== 06: Heres Hoping Its a Dream Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings. 07 She must not have seen the cape. ---=Chapter 7: She must not have seen the cape.---= I knew I was waking up because the pain of my apparent nightmare vanished abruptly. The wounds suffered back then were utterly gone¡ªso was the blood and gore that had soaked into my fur. Then again, I still had fur, so the situation was still pretty surreal. m I was lying on a tile floor, half sprawled out, hand clenched as though holding something, but the crystal was gone when I opened my hand. Another dream? Was all of this a dream, some coma I was failing to wake from? A woman screamed, and I jumped to my feet, looking around for the monster that had killed me twice. I was still in the lobby¡ªor maybe back in the lobby. However it occurred, I found myself in the lobby with someone screaming and looking my way with dread. I spun around to look for the danger, raising my arms up reflexively to protect my vitals from the jumping bug monster that I was sure was about to pounce. Nothing happened; there was nothing there. Oh, right, It''s me; I''m the monster. She must not have seen the cape. Somehow, I was still wearing both the cape and the mask I¡¯d made. I lowered my arms and looked back at the woman. Her scream cut off with a hiccup as she ducked out of sight behind the desk. I found myself trying to reconcile the different things I¡¯d seen in the last little while, hoping that somewhere I¡¯d find something to ground my grasp on reality. For example, based on her location and green scrubs, I was almost entirely sure that the hiding woman was also the dead woman the grasshopper had been eating before. My gorge rose as I remembered the sound of her headless body being masticated by that creature. Unnerved, I looked around for my weapons of choice. The chair had bounced away when I''d brought it down on the bug, but now it was sitting against the wall again. My backpack was nowhere to be seen, though. Maybe Green Scrubs had seen it. I didn¡¯t know if any of this was really happening. I kept trying to dismiss the inexplicable events as a dream. I had died wearing my cape and mask but here I was wearing them again. If that death was a dream, then so was this. As surreal as this all was, it was also increasingly hard to dismiss. Maybe this was purgatory, or maybe aliens were playing mind games. I didn''t know if I had a responsibility to save Nia or her sister, and I didn''t know how to find solid footing in this new reality. For now, my priorities were based on a reluctance to continue being eaten alive, dream or not. 1: don''t get killed or eaten 2: find Jon and other allies The question was: how could I show Alice¡ªassuming Green-Scrubs was Alice¡ªthat I wouldn''t hurt her while also watching for monsters? In the middle of reminding myself about the danger, I saw a pale blur flash behind the desk from an adjacent hallway. I heard the woman scream in pain or panic as the grasshopper hit her. It looked like it hit her in the shoulder, though I could only see the top of her head. My heart raced in my chest at the memory of its teeth driving into me and tearing flesh as it leaped away. I froze, feeling stuck to the spot. The thing reappeared, effortlessly jumping across the room to land on another wall. It immediately began lining up another attack. The woman put a hand on the desk to pull herself off the floor. I could hear her whimpering and crying as she peered over the top of the desk. She was looking back and forth between me and the bug with pleading eyes. I was pretty sure that her pleading wasn¡¯t directed at me, but I had a terrible feeling that I was her only hope. I don''t want to be Obi-Wan. I whimpered internally, afraid to feel like this was up to me, but I took a breath and steeled my nerves. I didn¡¯t have my bag, but I could probably use the chair for the whole fight, especially if the creature were distracted by the woman. I sprinted to the chairs by the entrance, my toenails clicking on the tile floor as I ran. Grabbing the first chair I reached, I hefted it to head height, positioning it for a powerful swing. I turned and ran back toward the woman, but the bug was already crouching to spring. I was going to be too slow. In a panic, I threw the chair. To my gleeful surprise, the creature slammed into the chair mid-air and I let out a silent ''woop'' and through my fist up in the air in celebration at my small victory. The monster bug was knocked short of its target, and its limbs got tangled up in the chair. Both chair and insect hit the floor, but the creature''s momentum made it roll into the back of the woman¡¯s legs, sending her face-first into the desk and knocking her out cold. Oops I ran around the side of the desk, hoping to stomp the creature into the ground before it could recover. It leaped at my face. I threw out my hands, making a desperate attempt at catching it. My hands snapped closed on a cool carapace, but the force of its leap sent me staggering back a few steps. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website. I was still congratulating myself on avoiding any damage¡ªwhen it began to kick at my arms with its powerful legs. Its back feet were like sickles, with the blade running along the outer edge. They sliced large divots in my arms as the monster kicked. I threw my head back and let out what ended up being silence¡ªrather than a roar of pain. It was thoroughly unsatisfying. I reeled back and chucked the thing at the wall. It flipped in the air and hit the wall feet first; its legs immediately bent and snapped back in a rebound jump at my face. My eyes widened in surprise, but pure instinct and luck were on my side as I spun in a quick circle. I brought my arms close to my chest as I spun, imagining myself an ice skater controlling the speed of my spin with my arms. At the last moment, I threw out my monstrous hand in the strongest backhanded smack I could manage. The spin attack didn¡¯t work nearly as well without my book-filled backpack, but it stopped the thing¡¯s momentum and sent it rag-dolling back toward the hall. Pain lanced through my hand as if I''d punched a brick wall, but panicked and fueled by adrenaline; I didn''t immediately notice. Then, I reached for the fallen chair, and my hand furiously sent death threats coursing through my body. The pain nearly made my legs give out. There was absolutely no way I would be able to do anything with that hand soon. A few feet away, the bug was trying to get back to its feet. I was pissed and terrified, so I abandoned the chair and jumped on it, stomping the bug repeatedly before it could get back up. Eventually, its pale carapace began to cave, and I found myself covered in a reeking black gore flecked with shards of white exoskeleton once again. Panting hard, I looked around. The woman was stirring behind me, but she looked in rough shape. I could hear her crying. Untying my cape with my uninjured hand, I walked slowly over to her, limping slightly as I put weight on my stomping foot. Slender Hopper''s sickle legs hadn''t taken my attack passively, and I was leaving bloody footsteps behind me. Hopefully, the limp would just make me look more harmless. The woman I believed to be Alice had a large knot forming on her forehead and a bloody wound on her arm that needed attention. She looked out of it and probably needed a doctor, which I was not. As I got closer, I could see a name tag that read "Maebe." So, Maybe¡ªnot Alice, I joked with myself. Maebe''s eyes struggled to focus as she looked at me; then they widened, and she whimpered in distress. She tried to stand and run, but her balance failed her. I couldn¡¯t tell if it was from her panic or from knocking her head a couple of times. Either way, she was down. Unable to get to her feet, she began to scuttle away on her hands and knees as quickly as possible. Gently, I put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. In retrospect, mine was admittedly a terrible plan. She lost her mind with fear. Lashing out wildly, she ruined what balance she had and fell on her side. She rolled over onto her back and kicked at me with surprising strength. I made the mistake of trying to grab her foot with my injured hand, and pain shot up my arm. Wishing I could swear, I Grabbed her foot with my left hand. If she kept it up, she¡¯d end up hurting herself even worse. Sure enough, her eyes rolled up in her head as she struggled, and she fell limply to the floor, her head hitting with a dull thunk that made me wince. Double oops At least I''d have a chance to bandage her wound. The embroidered name on her scrubs read ''Maebe,'' but she had similar blonde hair to Nia, who had gone to check on her, so there was a chance she actually was Alice. Then again, I didn¡¯t know if Alice was biologically related to Nia or Titus. For now, I''d assume this person knew their own name and wasn''t wearing someone else''s scrubs. Even briefly thinking about Titus gave me an unwelcome flashback of his severed and cauterized arm bouncing over the blacktop. Between that, Maebe''s headless body, and my own grizzly deaths, I was collecting a lot of nightmare fuel. I shuddered and tried to focus on what I was doing. I tore two strips from the blanket with one hand and my teeth. Probably not the most hygienic bandage, but my options were limited. I folded one strip into a pad to act as gauze for the wound on Maebe''s arm, then I wrapped and tied the second strip around her arm to hold the pad in place. It wasn''t great¡ªor even clean¡ªbut we were already in a hospital. I just needed to stop the bleeding until she could find some people to help. That was assuming there were people to help. By the time I was done, I could see from her shaking that Maebe was awake and playing dead, likely hoping I''d just leave. I''d done what I could, so I decided to back off, but I couldn¡¯t leave yet. This was the most human I''d felt in a while, and I was hoping Maebe would also see the person, not the monster. I walked back to the entrance, limping slightly from the sliced flesh¡ªand likely some self-inflicted bruising from stomping the bug into the floor. I sat in one of the remaining chairs and used strips of blanket to bind my own wounds. None of them were too bad, and the bleeding was already stopping. After a minute, Maebe peeked around the edge of the desk and saw me wrapping my foot. Both wrists and my right foot were all bandaged. I added some extra strips as padding for my bruised foot and as support for my fractured hand, which used up the rest of my cape, unfortunately. I was afraid I''d spook Maebe if I made any sudden movements, so I just shrugged my shoulders as she looked at me with fear. It was one of the first times I¡¯d actually gestured as I¡¯d intended. ¡°Are you¡­ nice?¡± She asked hesitantly, as though afraid speaking might trigger an attack. I, of course, couldn''t reply. Moving without thinking, I knocked on the chair in the old familiar pattern. This time, it actually sounded like the melody ¡®Shave and a haircut.¡¯ Maebe tapped the two "2 bits" to complete the knock. I was on a roll. Slowly she raised herself up from behind the desk and asked hesitantly, ¡°Do you, um... can you talk?" I knew people shook their heads and nodded, but I couldn''t remember which meant what. I was in the middle of nodding before I realized it, and it took an effort to turn it into a shake of the head. Ultimately, the message was mixed enough that Maebe was understandably confused. ¡°Okay...¡± She said. What just happened? I wondered, frustrated at being unable to speak or even gesture with any kind of coherence. It felt like dyslexia, like saying ¡®left¡¯ while pointing right. It was not helpful. There was something else distracting me as well. That bug¡¯s crystal was calling out to me again, exactly as it had when I lay on the ground dying. Grabbing the stone had been instinctual, and I suspected it was somehow related to why I woke up in the same place I¡¯d ¡®died.¡¯ The crystal inside the strange creature felt safe somehow, almost familiar. Still, I didn''t know what it was and knew better than to let my curiosity get the best of me...again. Letting out a silent sigh, I stood. I needed to get moving. Maebe took a step back before a hand came up to the makeshift bandage I¡¯d given her. ¡°Thank you. And thank you for killing that demon,¡± she said, her voice still shaky. I tried to nod at her in response, but it turned into just a twitch of my head. It must have managed to get the point across, though, because she nodded back. I¡¯d take the win. Mostly I was just glad nobody was screaming. Despite the fog of improbability surrounding recent events, I had a bad feeling that I might be piecing the facts together. I''d have to go back to the patrol car to check the theory, but if I was right, I was stuck in a time loop. If I was right, Nia was dead again, and it was my fault for not being there. I¡¯d take any win I could get. --= -=- 08 Whats The Punchline? What''s the Punchline?--=- This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. 09 I Cant Hold Your Ignorance Against You Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. 10 Wolf or Werewolf? Wolf or Werewolf?---= This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there. 11 That Is Not How You Address A Superhero That Is Not How You Address A Superhero --=- This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. 12 No Capes No Capes.--== Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website. 13 Wait, How Did You Know That? If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. 14 Theres Not That Many Chips. --=-Chapter 14: There''s Not That Many Chips.--=- There was a hospital map on the wall across from the elevators. It would work for my purposes. Or a least, it would work for my purposes if I could get my backpack. When Maebe had been wheeled toward the rest of the group, my bag had gone with her. I tried to move slowly and smoothly to not alarm anyone. Alice and Nia were holding each other and just getting through the moment. I heard Alice say. "I''m so Sorry, Nia. I knew, somehow. As soon as I saw you, I knew something had happened to him." "Hey, Alice." Pointy chin man said, weaponizing his chin to gesture my way. Alice looked up and saw me slowly walking toward them, looking at my backpack. With a doctor''s professionalism, she asked, "Oberon? Thank you for protecting Nia and getting her to me, safe," But even then, she took a step back, pulling Nia with her. Nia looked over her shoulder at me. "It''s ok, Alice. He really is nice. He was in the car with me when the other monster attacked. He saved me. Look, he''s just going for the backpack; you can tell from his eyes." I gave a doggy grin to back up what she said and acted friendly but kept moving toward the chair. I tried to telegraph my movements hoping they wouldn''t run away with my bag. "Alice." Pointy chin said again as I got closer to the group. "I know, Denis. ''Oberon,'' I recognize your name. Nia loved that dog, and it broke her heart that it died hard like it did. I don''t know if it''s a good sign that she chose the name for you, but she thought the world of that dog, so she''s showing a lot of goodwill, a lot of trust. I''m going to try to do the same." Pointy-Chin, Denis, didn''t seem to agree. He retreated back into the waiting room they''d all been in when we arrived, closing the door behind him. My plan had two parts. The second part was to get my bag and use a marker to draw on the hospital map. First, however, I crouched and picked up the note card that Nia had dropped as she and Alice came to terms with their loss. I needed them to understand that this was a time loop and the danger wasn''t yet over. With smooth movements, I extended the card to her. I guess they weren''t the only ones who were nervous. Cautiously, Alice reached out and took the card. "It says we''re in a time loop, like Groundhog''s Day," Nia said, emotion still evident in her voice. "That''s my handwriting. I don''t remember writing this. And that bit of crystal," and she reached into her pocket and pulled out a memory crystal at least as large as Slender Hoppers. "This one''s whole, but they''re definitely the same, right?" "Anderson was talking about having Deja Vu," the blonde woman said, getting closer to read the note. "Yeah, and you and Denis were terrified right before the spider monster appeared. It was like you knew something was going to happen." the graying man said. I assumed he was Anderson, but it was technically possible Anderson was someone I hadn''t seen yet. "Yeah, but we didn''t know why. Something about how you looked around put me on edge." The woman said. "I didn''t know what was coming either. I just suddenly felt like I was in a scary movie, and the monster was right behind me. I wasn''t even scared, really; I just knew something was going to happen." "Personally, I was terrified." The blonde woman said. "It was like waking up, terrified, from a nightmare you can''t remember. Then that giant spider showed up, and I knew I was going to die. And I don''t think it was any different for Denis." "What about you, Nia? Do you have any weird memories?" Alice asked. Nia shivered. "I don''t know. Sometimes things seem familiar, but I don''t know." While they were talking, I eased my backpack off the chair. None of them took their eyes off me for long, but they also didn''t try to stop me. Maebe sat unmoving. I hadn''t been sure before, but compared to Alice and her crew, let alone Nia, Maebe had no green glow. Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon. The first time I''d seen an aura on a person was when Nia showed up with horns and bat wings. That possibility didn''t seem as unlikely now as it did then, but even the aura Nia had now was nothing compared to what she had in that form. And none of them had anything close to the glow of Tickles and Slender Hopper. Instead, it was a barely perceptible aura that surrounded everyone faintly. Not that I had any idea if there was any significance to it; it was interesting, though. Reaching into my backpack, I pulled out my notebook, a Sharpie, and the memory crystals. I also pulled out the bag of open chips. I Might as well be neighborly. I popped one in my mouth and offered the bag to the woman with the strawberry-blond hair. Apart from Nia, she''d been most willing to approach me, even if it was just to retreat with Maebe. Hesitantly she took a few steps forward and took the bag. "Uh, thanks, Oberon," She said, helping herself to a few chips before passing the bag to Anderson. "Jesus, Jessica," Denis''s voice said from the other side of the door. He was peering through the glass but didn''t look willing to come back out. Well, at least I knew all their names now. "It''s fine," Jessica said. "Stay in there, though; there''s not that many chips." I opened my mouth in a grin and pulled out another snack-sized bag of chips, and raised it up so Denis could see it. "Fuck, he really does understand, doesn''t he? This is beyond strange." Anderson said. "What, no Deja Vu about the chips?" Alice asked. "No. I mean, not really. It does feel familiar¡ªlike I''ve been here before, but I couldn''t tell you what will happen next. What about you, Alice? You didn''t have the same sixth sense about the giant spider as the rest of us, but you knew something would come through the vent before any of us did." Bingo. Or, well, close enough to Bingo. I was developing a better idea of where it would be safe to set Maebe and Nia''s spawn points. That brought me to the other part of my plan. I went over to the map and pulled out my marker. It wouldn''t be to scale, but I drew a picture of a car on the building map. The parking lot wasn''t part of the map, but I estimated and hoped Nia could piece it together for them. I drew two stick-figure faces inside the car, then added ears and a snout to mine after a moment of uncertainty. "What''s he doing?" Anderson asked. "I don''t know," Alice said, "Nia?" Nia walked over beside me and watched me draw. Unlike the others, she''d gotten over most of her fear. "I think that''s the car I was in. We crashed right by the back door like that." I needed to make sure I didn''t set their spawn points where there would be monsters. Part of me knew that, even if I messed up, time would just loop and give me a chance to fix it. But that kind of thinking took a heartlessness I neither possessed nor envied, so I drew on the map. I drew a picture of a generic-looking monster face with jagged teeth and black eyes. It didn''t look anything like Tickles or Slender Hopper, but it just needed to be recognizable as a monster. I drew a second monster face in the rear lobby. "He''s drawing where the monsters were." "Why?" Anderson asked. Nia shrugged. "I don''t know." When my doodles were finished, I offered the marker to Alice. She hesitated momentarily, her eyes flickering to Nia standing next to me. Then she took a deep breath and walked forward to take the marker. "We, the four of us and some others, were in surgery when the Vortex lowered on Forest Lake. It was too dangerous to move the patient, so we volunteered to stay and finish up. That was in this room." Alice said, circling the surgical suit toward the front of the building. It¡ªthe monster, whatever it was¡ªcame from the vent in the ceiling. It''s the only one we''ve seen." "Which is actually just that room right over there. We''ve not done much exploring." Anderson said, pointing at a room just down the hall. It would have to be enough. I could easily change Maebe and Nia''s spawn points to this hallway, but using the waiting room or one of the locker rooms would be better. Even an elevator would probably be a decent spawn point, so long as the elevator wasn''t in a different spot when the day looped. No matter where I set it, when the day looped, Nia, at least, would be disoriented. Maebe would be too, assuming she wasn''t catatonic again. Someplace recognizable and enclosed would hopefully give them a chance to orient themselves. Changing their spawn would make the beginning of my loop easier, but it would also come at the cost of ignorance. Nia wouldn''t necessarily know what happened to her dad or that monsters were wondering about. If I tried to join their group again in later loops, I wouldn''t be bringing any lost lambs with me; I''d just be another monster. Memories did seem to be seeping through the loops or something, so¡ªwith a smidgen of luck¡ªone of them would recognize me. It didn''t really matter, though. If Hands or someone else managed to trap me and change my spawn point, they''d both be helpless against their attackers. --=- --== 15 Keep It Away From Me. A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. 16 A Weapon of +1 Strength. ---=Chapter 16: A Weapon of +1 Strength---= Footsteps chased me around the corner, away from the elevators and my brief allies. I hadn''t been this way yet, but I was pretty sure this hallway would lead me toward the ER. Ahead of me was a four-way intersection. At a glance, left was a room, maybe another surgery room. If I went straight, my pursuers would get a clear shot at me again. My arm burned and ached, throbbing with every step and heartbeat as I ran to the right. I held my wounded arm to my body and shouldered through the swinging double doors. I ran past various pieces of medical equipment and a nurses'' station. The letters "ICU" were painted on the wall. As I approached the intersection, I checked behind me. Nobody had followed me into the ICU yet, so I took a moment to peek through the window of the closed door. Taking this right would lead me back toward the rear lobby and the gunmen. Unfortunately for me, one of the men was still there. Our eyes locked, and neither of us moved for a second. Then he started pointing my way and shouting down the hall to his left. Wincing, I clutched my arm and ran on. Ahead, through another set of double doors, was the ER. I used my left shoulder to knock the door open and make good my escape. Or such was the plan. I made it about halfway down a hall full of curtained-off beds when my ears started picking up soft sounds of movement from behind me. My feet came to a stuttering halt as I realized the entire hallway ahead was filled with silent, unmoving crows that were all staring at me. What the fuck is this? When I was a kid, a bird got into one of my classes, and everyone panicked like it was some dangerous beast capable of anything. It was a memory that had always made me chuckle. This was less funny. As one, the crows erupted in a frenzy of caws and flapping wings. I''m not too ashamed to admit that it freaked me out. I didn''t know who had left the door open, but these crows apparently found a home they liked and didn''t want me intruding. Dozens of the birds swooped and screeched at me. All I could do was cover my head with my good arm and run toward the exit trying not to jostle my injured arm. I felt beaks and talons tearing at my fur, but they couldn''t do more than scrape the skin beneath. Still, the display was disorienting and panic-inducing. I ran on through the waiting room and out the automatic sliding doors. Thankfully, the crows didn''t seem too interested in chasing me, but I ran down a ramp and around a parked ambulance to be safe. I kept my head on a swivel as I ran past and peeked around the ambulance. There were a couple crows on top of the entrance roof. Are those birds standing guard? It was clear how the crows had gotten inside; the automatic doors had let them in. I could only guess why they''d decided to roost there; I knew corvids were clever and had different caws to signal danger, so it could be normal crow behavior to keep a lookout. I was pretty sure the green glow was new, however. Like almost everything else, the crows had a green aura, but it was nearly as bright as Slender Hopper''s. Not that I had any idea what that actually meant. It could mean they had memory crystals. I wasn''t about to pick a fight to find out. If they were already inside, then they probably had at least some memories¡ªfrom previous loops¡ªof the mostly abandoned hospital. I wasn''t about to spend the rest of my apocalypse being stalked by a flock of birds. In truth, I was more worried about Hands and his goons than nightmare bugs or angry birds, my still wildly beating heart notwithstanding. The goons had shot me twice in cold blood without hesitation or remorse. I was finally getting to a point where I could think past the next moment. Nia and Maebe were as safe as I could make them¡ªassuming Hands''s goons weren''t a threat while I wasn''t around. It seemed like a safe-ish bet. He was after the memory crystals and some "shadow." I didn''t trust him but doubted he''d have any reason to target their group. In any case, I didn''t have any better solutions for them. "There''s nothing for you in the hospital," Hands had said. It was definitely a threat, but maybe it was also a simple fact. Hands clearly knew the worth of the memory crystals, and he had goons to collect them for him. I would need memory crystals at some point¡ªI hadn''t even gotten to share a visualization with anyone. If I could safely return to Alice''s group before time reset, I could enlist them to help me find Jon. A memory crystal would let me explain my situation better than a drawing. But I wasn''t likely to be able to compete with Hands, especially since I didn''t know where any of the creatures actually were. Speaking of which, I had left my backpack and clubs back in the hospital. Which was not ideal. I also had an injured arm that ached and burned in turns and screamed in agony when I tried to move it. I wasn''t really in any condition to go monster hunting. If I wasn''t going back for my clubs and notebook, I''d need to find replacements. I might not be in any shape to fight monsters, but that didn''t mean monsters would give me a choice. I also wouldn''t mind finding a pair of pants. Freeballing was all well and good¡ªeven if my fur did keep me decent¡ªbut few things are more humanizing than clothing. If I wanted to avoid getting shot some more, it was a need. Cars had been abandoned on the highway as people tried to get past the stand-still traffic to reach the vortex. There were a lot of potential supplies in those vehicles, but I didn''t love how exposed I would be. The hospital had a parking garage next to the main entrance; I was sure there would also be abandoned cars in there, and I''d be less exposed. There was even a chance I''d run into Jon or someone from Alice''s group if I stayed nearby. Of course, there was likewise a chance I''d run into goons or monsters hiding in the dark. I was also all but sitting on the bumper of an ambulance that probably had some good stuff in it. Fairly sure the crows weren''t going to chase after me, I tried the handles of the ambulance. Locked¡ªnot surprising. The ambulance probably had most of what I''d need, but, fog aside, I was pretty exposed. To some people, property damage is the same as a violent assault. Fuck it, I decided as I smashed my good elbow into one of the windows. First of all, that really hurts. Second off, I almost immediately felt stupid. Opening the door, I realized I''d forgotten to consider something; cars, even ambulances, have alarms. You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story. My ears rang as the alarm went off, and I stood there holding the car door open, unsure what to do. Cursing inwardly, I slammed the ambulance door and loped off toward the parking garage. Getting caught ransacking an ambulance would definitely undermine my efforts to look safe. I''d just have to look for cars with open doors. There had to be a few. I ran along the side of the building toward the road. The fog kept me from seeing much, but I could still see the shadows of cars on the road. So, when I rounded the corner to the front of the hospital, I wasn''t surprised that the parking garage wasn''t empty. People must have convinced themselves that the vortex would come down on the other side of them, or perhaps they just didn''t notice until it was too late. Either way, it looked like more than a few had tried to leave in a hurry at the last minute; half a dozen cars were abandoned at the entrance. Presumably, the evacuees hadn''t been taking turns or playing nice in their hurry to leave. The exit was plugged by two cars that hadn''t been willing to take turns. In their haste, it seemed people had abandoned anything that slowed them down, including scruples. The result was a mess of cars with no occupants, some with wide open doors. I kept my eyes searching for movement as I crept up to the abandoned vehicles. I ducked down to look under cars and peeked inside the vehicles, but nothing creepy jumped out at me. As it turns out, people don''t bother locking cars they''re fleeing from in a panic. Jon might have a knee-jerk reaction to "looting," but there really wasn''t a chance of getting through the apocalypse without at least a little looting. Immediate needs trump social norms, especially in exceptional situations like this. Besides, was it stealing to eat food that would restock itself in a few hours? I struck gold in the third car I checked. A nurse''s bag in the back seat of one of the cars contained bandages and morphine. Looking through the bag, the only thing I found to clean my bullet wound was rubbing alcohol, which would hurt to even imagine. It wasn''t like I had to worry about infection, and the blood had matted the fur near the wound and stopped the bleeding in a dark patch. I decided to just wrap it. It was mostly cosmetic, but it hurt too much to do more, and it would at least add more to my people-friendly appearance. Next up was morphine. My arm did hurt, but I could get around. Was the end of the world a time to dull my senses? Also, can canines even have morphine? Shrugging, I decided I''d start with one, and we''d see how it went. After emptying some of the contents, I put the rest of the pills back in the nurse''s bag. I honestly hesitated to get rid of anything, but if I ended up needing a catheter, I''d just have to come back for it. I''d checked almost all the abandoned cars at the entrance before I found scrub pants that would fit. They were black and a bit short on me, but after tearing a hole for my tail, I used the drawstring to tighten them on my waist. Embarrassingly, I could see fur glowing dimly here and there on the black material. I hadn''t realized how much I shed. Still, pants is pants. +2 Charisma, I joked inwardly. Now I just need a weapon of +1 Strength. I popped the trunk of the last car. If nothing else, there would probably be a tire iron I could use. Instead, I found baseball equipment, including gloves, a catcher''s mask and chest protector, and a baseball bat. I considered putting on the chest protector. It was classic post-apocalypse attire after-all. Unfortunately, we were only mid-apocalypse, and it wouldn''t do much against bullets. Besides, it didn''t fit my superhero aesthetic, and I didn''t want muddy the message of my harmlessness. The bat, on the other hand, I took. Holding it in just my off-hand, I gave it a few test swings and felt confident I could use it to hit the broad side of a barn. I was making plans to attack and kill creatures I knew little-to-nothing about for no other reason than they were a resource. They didn''t seem like they were especially intelligent, and they did make it easier by being so violent. In some ways, it was kill or be killed. I could admit that their aggression was a bit justified, considering I was planning to hunt them. Still, I didn''t think there was any actual reasoning going on. They did seem to feel pain, though, and the world had enough suffering in it that I wasn''t eager to add more. Then again, they didn''t have that same hesitation toward people. I knew I was just looking for reasons to soothe my guilt, that curiosity and fear were my main motivations. The memory crystals were a magic that hadn''t existed in the old world. Whatever this apocalypse was, whatever I''d become, I knew the memory crystals held insights. Still, ever since hands showed me it was possible, I did worry Jon was trapped somewhere, needing his spawn reset. It would explain why he wasn''t with the car, and it was something I wanted to be prepared for. Armed, I moved deeper into the parking garage. The first level was mostly empty of cars, and there weren''t many places for the creatures to hide. The vortex had come down on top of the parking garage, cutting off the last few yards on the far side. I kept my distance; I wasn''t sure how the barrier might have affected the structural integrity of the building. The second floor was more empty than the first, and the lack of hiding places made searching for monsters go quickly, but not successfully. There was one more floor, open to the sky, with cement half-walls enclosing another largely empty lot. I cleared it even quicker than the second floor, because there was nothing there. If you can''t find monsters in an abandoned parking garage, where can you find them? There had been another reason to check here, apart from just getting out of the hospital, and that was the vantage. From up here, I could see what was happening on the highway. The fog started obscuring things too much to make out many details, though. I''d hoped to get an idea of how big an area was surrounded by the vortex barrier. Due to its sheer size, the glowing green wall was visible for quite a distance, but it too faded away in the haze. My best, albeit inexperienced, guess was that Forest Lake was surrounded. The line of cars in gridlock trying to leave town was largely gone. I could see the outline of abandoned vehicles here and there in the middle of the road. The further from the vortex I looked, the fewer there were. Presumably, people had realized they couldn''t get through and had taken their cars and gone home. Finally, I spotted movement below me along the front of the hospital. I couldn''t make it out clearly, but something small was dragging something else behind it and turning the corner toward the ER. Bingo. ---= --=- 17 Hooray! Oberon! This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. 18 I Swear to a God I Dont Believe In --==Chapter 18: I swear to a god I don''t believe in--== My surprise delayed my reaction, but eventually, I woke up and kicked one off. It went rolling away like a flat kickball. I peeled the other off with the grip of the baseball bat. The Gremlins had looked bigger from a distance, but they barely reached my knees. Then again, I had two feet on my pre-apocalypse self; my perspective would probably take time to adjust. I hadn''t expected them to be able to talk. Given my circumstances, it seemed particularly unfair. It was also inexplicable that they would call me Oberon. My only guess was that they had memories of previous loops, and at some point, I''d met them with someone else speaking for me. The Gremlin with the rounder ears bit me on the leg before letting go and bounding back a few feet, gesturing and chittering angrily between its friend and me. It felt like a pinch, and I massaged the spot looking for injury, but the thing hadn''t broken the skin. I stood there, bat-readied, and waited as they chittered back and forth before one of them turned and ran back into their urban hut. A second later, the Gremlin came outside holding three glowing polished stones. It ran up to me, expectantly raising its treasures as it got close. Hesitantly, I reached down and plucked up the shining gems. They were memory crystals, rounded and polished. Though only about a third the size of the Slender Hopper memory crystal, they had the same coloring and brightness. Actually, with the polished surface, they might be even brighter than memory crystals. Why had they polished them? How? Would they still work the same way? For that matter, maybe they weren''t the same at all. I''d been lumped in with Slender Hopper and Tickles¡ªheck, I''d lumped these creatures in with them too, but the Gremlins were clearly smarter. Maybe these were just another glowing phenomenon of the apocalypse. I looked between the stones and the two Gremlins. They''d gotten close again and looked up at me with eager puppy-dog expectation. They wanted something. Why had they given me these? Oh shit, is this supposed to be a trade? I checked my new pockets; they were sadly empty. I''d left the nurse''s bag back a ways too. Well, I wasn''t going to give them my clothes or bat, so they were out of luck. I cautiously patted the Gremlin that handed me the crystals on the head and examined what I''d been given. It wasn''t much of a trade, but they were the ones who could speak, so they''d have to tell me if they wanted something specific. I also wasn''t entirely convinced these were the same type of crystal, so I didn''t know their value to me. I could try to store a visualization inside one. It might be better to try to use a stone to create a spawn point trap. It should give me an idea if the objects were memory crystals without wasting a use. Unless I wanted to change my spawn point, I''d only be able to check for the allure of trapped crystal. Still, between falling for Hands'' trap and trapping crystals for Nia and Maebe, I was familiar with that particular draw. Pocketing two gems¡ªand appreciating having pockets again¡ªI considered what I''d include in a visualization. The most important things to share were the various dangers and the time loop, but Alice and company already knew most of that. A visualization of Alice using her crystal shard trick to leave herself notes could be helpful, but it was probably unnecessary as well. Really, there were two things I wanted to use the memory crystals for. The first was getting people to understand who I was, that I was just a regular person in an irregular position. The second was gathering information about Jon and gaining allies in my search for him. First things first, though, I needed to test it. I focused on the memory crystal, connecting to it. I didn''t try to form a visualization; instead, I just imagined imprinting my will onto it. It felt something like taking a test and trying to remember something you knew you''d studied but couldn''t recall. There was resistance, almost an anxiousness, as I continued. My head started to feel full, almost reminiscent of a head cold, but without the aching part. Soon the stone was drawing all my attention and became harder and harder to ignore. Glancing at the Gremlins, they were transfixed as well. That answers that, I thought. These were either memory crystals or something similar. I could try to put a visualization in there, but I wasn''t sure if it was something I could test on myself. It would be a bit of a waste to do so, since using the crystals like that seemed to cause them to crack and eventually disintegrate. Still, the stone Hands had given me had stored two visualizations, and it already had cracks when I got it. Hopefully, these could be used more than once as well. I brought the crystal to my brow and began to press the visualizations into the stone. I didn''t know if there was a limit to how much I could put into my mental projections¡ªor how many unique scenes I''d be able to instill into the crystals¡ªso I decided to start with my search for Jon. He should still be wearing his police uniform, so he''d be easier to recognize than just a random white guy. Even Nia might not recognize his face, considering she''d only seen his face for like a minute while everything was going to shit. I also had to make it clear I wasn''t looking for just any cop, but Jon specifically. At first, I tried to picture his name tag, but the letters were all nonsense and indistinguishable. Have you ever had a dream where you realized you forgot how to read? It felt like that. Considering my other communication problems, I''d half expected it, so I didn''t let it slow me down. I included as much detail as I could think of. "Lean brown-eyed white guy with a flop of sandy blond hair wearing cop''s uniform" wasn''t as vague to my inner eye, but there was a reason I drew cartoons. I wasn''t one for the fine details. Still, the benefit of using a memory crystal was that it was a full sensory experience. ''What fresh hell is this then?'' was a favorite saying of his. I could only imagine he''d come up with a dozen reasons to use it since the world ended, so I included a few in my projection. He also had a habit of using too much body spray¡ªthough I doubted that particular trait had survived the apocalypse. Then again, I''d been wrong before, so I decided to include it in the projection. Besides, if it led me to him, it''d be hilarious, and I''d never let him live it down. I could feel the crystal filling up, and focusing on the details of my projection became increasingly difficult. Finishing up with Jon, I pictured myself sitting in the patrol car. I didn''t bother detailing my appearance since it wouldn''t mean anything to anyone but Jon. I showed fear in my eyes, though, as I imagined blue fur growing from my arms as my body twisted and distorted into the werewolf form I now had. This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. Then the crystal was full, and my awareness returned to my surroundings. The Gremlins were staring at me expectantly as I lowered the memory crystal. Did they want me to give them back the memory crystal? And it was a memory crystal, or at least it let me store a visualization like one. I got the same feeling of inflating mental lungs to capacity as I had with Hands'' memory crystal¡ªnot that I was sure, even now, that either of those visualizations had worked. Either way, I didn''t want to give it up to the staring gremlins. No take-backsies, I thought to myself. It must not have come across in my body language because they kept staring. Then both looked at the bare ground in front of them and back up and me expectantly. Their heads moved in unison from the ground to me and back. I took a tentative step forward, uncertain what they were after, but they just backed up and looked between a patch of dirt and me. Then they began to chirp and chitter at each other before one ran off and grabbed a long branch and brought it back to hand to me. Confused, I took it, and they again stared intently at the ground, clearly expecting something. I had never realized the multitudes you can convey with a simple "um" until I found myself unable to utter it. Taking a guess, I stabbed the stick into the ground like I was planting a little tree. It promptly fell over. The gremlins chittered together for a few seconds before tearing the branches from the limb, leaving just a log semi-straight stick they then handed back to me. Then they stared down at the dirt again expectantly. Finally, the pointy-eared Gremlin rumbled inquisitively, "Oberon draw?" With a mental shrug of uncertainty, I drew a star. It must have been what the creatures wanted because they yipped and cheered and danced around the little doodle excitedly. After galloping around in circles for a minute, they went to a new patch of dirt and looked back and forth between it and me. Another doodle or another pentagram? I swear to a god I don''t believe in, if these things end up being actual demons... I decided to avoid any other potentially religious iconography and draw a simple smiley. It was just dirt, after all; I wouldn''t be making any masterpieces. This time they hopped up and down excitedly and spun in circles. They were simultaneously ugly, like splotchy naked mole rats, and adorable, like monstrously ugly children simply enjoying life. I was relieved and perplexed to verify that it was the doodles themselves that thrilled the Gremlins, not some arcane symbology. Like children, they wanted to see the trick as many times as possible. "Again! Again!" the duo rumbled in bass voices, so unlike the chirping that they did between themselves. They had given me three memory crystals; I could at least give them an equal number of pictures. Not to sound like a despot, but I was also giving them their lives. Though, I doubted I''d be able to make myself kill them at this point anyway, especially not by beating them with my bat. I was maybe not cut out for the ruthless apocalyptic lifestyle. Either way, I''d followed the Gremlin hoping to get a memory crystal, and now I had three. I had no idea why the Gremlins liked my doodles, but I decided to draw a 3D cube, leaving out segments so it seemed like a solid cube. One of the gremlins fainted before I even finished. I think they had forgotten to breathe. The other Gremlin''s attention didn''t so much as flicker, and the downed Gremlin was at least breathing, so I kept going. I added a doorway and wavy lines to represent the tarp. The Gremlin that was still up suddenly stood up ramrod straight, looking back and forth between the crude drawing and their crude dwelling. It went stiff as a board, its eyes rolled back into its head, and it fell to the ground, a happy little grin forming on its mouth, a bubble of snot inflating and deflating as it snored happily. Weird. I couldn''t just leave them lying there; dangerous creatures were running around. Then again, if they had polished memory crystals, they had to get them from somewhere, so they probably knew all about the dangers. Deciding to err on the side of interference, I picked them up, one in each arm, and placed them gently inside their hut and out of sight. Neither one showed any stirring, like children exhausted after a day of excitement. Careful not to disturb the doodles I''d drawn for them, I walked back toward the hospital. I still needed to find Jon, but now I had better tools to make myself understood. As I walked past the car I''d hid behind earlier, a voice froze me in my tracks. "Hold it, Oberon," Jon said from behind me. Relief flooded through me, and I started to turn around without thinking. "Eh! I said hold it. Don''t move a muscle." Jon said, emphasizing his words by cocking his gun, causing me to freeze back up. My injured arm throbbed to remind me what getting shot was like. "Alice said you understand English but can''t speak. Poor Nia begged me to leave you alone, but I think we both know you''re too dangerous to be allowed around here. I just winged you before, but I won''t miss from this close." --== 19 Make Smart Choices ---=Chapter 19: Make Smart Choices---= Jon, you absolute asshole. He was the one who''d shot me, and my arm throbbed its own complaint. Well, at least I knew he was alright. "Easiest for me is to just shoot you. That way, I can be sure you won''t come to attack us on a whim later. I don''t know if you know what memory crystals are, but based on your glow, I think you have some. And I want to find out. Feel free to try something, then we''ll both find out." Laaaaame, I thought to myself. Jon always tried way too hard to sound cool. "Of course, if you are ''on our side'' like Nia insisted, you won''t mind handing over the crystals you took from those demon corpses I saw you hiding. What, were you ashamed you attacked one of your own? Or are you saving a meal for later?" Jesus Christ, Jon, what the hell? "Well, people¡ªhumans¡ªwe need those memory crystals, and it''s my job to be sure we get them. I''m told we don''t have many bullets, but I''m also told the day loops, so I guess that doesn''t matter. Besides, my aim has gotten pretty good lately. Corner brick." Jon called his target before taking his aim off me to shoot a brick off the top of the hut to our right. I jumped in surprise; we were close enough that he really didn''t need to prove he was a good shot. "I think my aim''s good enough that I can use a couple more to take you down if necessary. So put down any memory crystals you''re carrying, and I''ll let you be off to terrorize all the demons you want." Well, this wasn''t a terrible result. I could give Jon the crystals and show him how to use the memory crystal I''d made for Alice. I''d focused on my search for Jon, but between that and my depiction of becoming a werewolf, he should realize I was Sam. Slowly I reached into my pockets. I could only get a few clawed fingers inside, but I was able to grip the polished gems and pull them out. I was turning my head to mime how to use the crystal when I saw movement from the hut. The little gremlins were awake, probably startled by the sound of the gun going off. If Jon saw them, he''d probably kill them for their memory crystals like I''d originally planned. Jon must have seen me hesitate, but he didn''t look away to see why. "Careful now, make smart choices," he warned me. I took a second to consider the surroundings. Jon had a parking lot behind him; he''d stood up from behind a car. There was some cover, but I was still at least a dozen feet from the next nearest car. I was even farther from the little hut, not that I wanted to draw fire in that direction anyway. If I ran and got shot, I should at least have an easier time of it next loop, except I wouldn''t have the goodwill from delivering Nia and Maebe safely to Alice. Then again, I wasn''t sure the gremlins wouldn''t immediately attack Jon, and I couldn''t guess how that would go. The Gremlins seemed harmless and innocent, but I doubted they''d gotten three memory crystals by being goofy. On the other hand, Jon had a gun. Better for everyone if I kept Jon from even noticing them. If I trapped one of the crystals, I''d at least know where to find him next loop. I didn''t know what effect that would have; there had to be a reason he was so well-adapted, despite how the day started. There would be better opportunities, especially if I could get him to look at the visualization I''d made for Alice. I''d still need to get away, but I didn''t think Jon really was as trigger-happy as he was pretending; after all, he could have shot me in the back instead of calling out Nia''s name for me. Taking a slow breath, I lowered two of the crystals toward the ground, crouching slightly as I bent over. Setting two of the three crystals down gently, I looked Jon in the eye and held forward the crystal with the mental projection on it. I pressed it to my forehead meaningfully, then held it out to him. His eyes moved briefly from me to the crystal, but he just gestured toward the ground with his gun. "Put it with the rest." I wanted to be sure he got it, so I demonstrated pressing the memory crystal to my head again. "I said, put it with the rest," Jon said again, trying to sound intimidating. This time, I listened; setting the polished gem on the blacktop, I rolled it toward Jon. As expected, Jon''s eyes flickered from me to the rolling stone; as he looked away, I kicked off into a low sprint. I didn''t know if he''d figure out my pantomime, but I wasn''t sticking around to find out. My balance was too far forward, and I instinctively pushed off against the ground with one paw-hand. Suddenly I found myself in a natural four-legged lope that saw me speeding toward the parking lot as shots rang out after me. Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work! I was galloping faster than I could run on two legs, even with my injured bicep; with some luck, Jon would be caught off guard, and I could slip behind an old boat-of-a-car. Then his gun rang out, and I felt a sharp slap knock one of my back legs out from under me, sending me tumbling. There was only the one car near me, and I stayed low while limping around to its far said. Dropping down to my stomach to peer under the car, I watched Jon''s feet approach cautiously. My heart pounded in pain and sudden real fear. Shit, this is worse than if he''d just killed me. I pressed one paw-hand against the wound on my leg. It felt like the bullet was still inside my leg; it hurt a stupid amount considering I was on morphine. The throbbing pain echoed and amplified the pain in my bandaged arm. There was no way I could keep running with both wounds screaming at every step. Jon was getting closer, and I didn''t really have any ideas. Maybe it would be best to just let him catch up to me. He could be an ass¡ªthe apocalypse had clearly been a fertile ground for his assholery, too¡ªbut he wasn''t often cruel. If I let Jon catch me, he would likely kill me, but at least it would be over quick. Well, "over." The whole thing would just start again, I was sure. It was good to see Jon doing way better than me. Here I was, limping around and hiding behind cars. Jon seemed fine and must have found Alice''s group, at the least. I had worried he was stuck in some looping nightmare, forced or tricked into changing his spawn point to some trap or cell. Myself aside, I couldn''t imagine him just leaving Nia to be terrorized by a monster. Sure, he''d do that to me¡ªa monstrous werewolf¡ª but a kid? Unlikely. It meant either he thought her spawn was safe, or he was stuck somewhere and unable to help. Of course, Nia hadn''t been in the car in my first memory, so maybe she had been safe until recently. I sat up, leaned back against the car''s tire, and looked around. The next nearest cover was almost another dozen parking spots away. My leg was throbbing, and the distance looked especially far. Peeking under the car again, I could see Jon getting closer. Running would just get me shot in the back. My mind flashed back to my panicked retreat from Slender Hopper that had resulted in being hit in the back. I could imagine a bullet would feel at least as painful. Fuck it, I said to myself, crouching while putting as much of my weight on my uninjured limbs as I could. If I was going out, it would be while giving maximum effort. With a grunt, I leaped onto the hood of the car to charged straight at Jon. I wouldn''t hurt him, but if I got lucky, I might surprise him enough that he dropped his gun. I took two steps across the hood, my wounded leg almost blinding me with pain, and leaped at a completely calm Jon; His gun tracked me, and I had a moment to feel surprised before two shots took me in the chest. Shit, that was a good shot. I don''t remember hitting the ground. I was just suddenly back in the patrol car. My previously throbbing arm and leg only tingled with a sudden absence of pain. Tickles leaped at the cage separating us, and I jumped in surprise before smacking the cage in annoyance, causing it to fall back into the foot well. Stupid bug, don''t be a dick. I swore internally. I''d died again, and now I had to start over. I honestly hadn''t expected to get away, but it didn''t make me any happier to be back at the beginning. Thankfully Nia wasn''t in the back; likely, Maebe was safe as well, so I could at least take my time with my first steps. Tickles was effectively neutralized, and I could ignore him until it was more convenient. For the first time, I had a chance to do something a little different, and I wasn''t yet sure if I would kill the thing. After all, I could hopefully get those memory crystals from the gremlins again. It was a bit like buying store-bought meat to avoid killing a chicken in a cage. Still, I wasn''t eager to wring the thing''s neck myself. Slender hopper, on the other hand, was still a potential threat. Not that the hospital didn''t have plenty of threats I couldn''t do anything about. But this one, I could. Now that I knew its moves and where it was¡ªand that I needed to keep away from walls¡ªI shouldn''t have any trouble. Anybody not ready, though, could easily be taken down by its relentless ambush. Still, even a few steps away, the fog was light-blinding enough that I could easily get lost or turned around. With Nia and Maebe both safe for the moment, I should have plenty of time to make a cape and eye mask. I probably couldn''t slip by Slender Hopper to get Anderson''s golf clubs, but I had more practice with the waiting-room chairs anyway. I pulled out the blanket and worked it with my claws and teeth. I wondered if going to the parking garage entrance first¡ªto grab the pants and bat¡ªwould be worth it. If nothing else, the baseball bat would be helpful against Slender Hopper. Also, now that I''d worn pants in this form, I was feeling exposed without them. Mask and cape in place¡ªand backpack in hand¡ªI went jogging toward the front of the hospital. ---= --=- 20 Stupid Thief Birds This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. 21 Afraid Without Knowing Why The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. 22 You Cant Have My Name Stolen novel; please report. 23 Never Teach a Dolphin Illusion Magic --=-Chapter 23: Never Teach a Dolphin Illusion Magic.--=- "You scheduled the apocalypse," I asked, my voice flat. "I''m just the secretary! it''s not my fault, probably!" The eye insisted dramatically. It pulled itself free from its columns of cloud and sea; arcs of electricity discharging into the air, it flew further away from me. "Don''t glare at me like that. I barely remember it; maybe it wasn''t me at all. It could have been someone else with a deep understanding of schedules and logistics. Wait. Do you think this makes me an angel?" "How do you not know what you are?" "Duh, now who''s the one with memory problems?" The eye said, floating back down closer to the ship. This was too weird. Everything kept being too weird. Maybe it was time to stop thinking I had any idea what to expect next. "You''re a bit too mouthy to be an angel. And too stupid." I told the eye. "Then, if one of the horsemen of the apocalypse was flighty and forgetful, which one do you think it would be?" "You''re not a horseman of the apocalypse." "How do you know?" "Well, for one, you''re not a horseman¡ªor even humanoid." I found myself grinning unexpectedly. The eye definitely reminded me of Jon when he was a freshman. 90% of our conversations had also been nonsense banter. If this thing had destroyed the world, I wasn''t getting the impression it could really be called responsible. Not that delusion or confusion got it off the hook, but it wasn''t like I had any way to contain or punish it for its potential crimes. I didn''t even know what it was. I doubted it was god''s secretary¡ªlet alone of the Four Horsemen¡ªand told the eye as much. "At most, you''re god''s Siri." "Oooh, See-er-ee" That''s fun to say. "You should practice saying sorry instead. In fact, you wanted a name. I dub thee ''Sori'' because you should be, and at least, now you''ll say it sometimes." "You''re trying to get me to say I''m sorry, but I''m just the scheduler, right? I didn''t bulldoze your planet." "No¡­ that''s a different apocalypse." "Exactly, I just added you to a list; I didn''t make the list. Come on, do I look like a world-ending apocalypse beast to you?" The giant floating silver eye asked without a mouth. "First off, adding things to a list is exactly how a list gets made. Second, yeah, you kind of do. Then again, what do I know? I don''t even understand how I got here, except that you''re right. Something about this place does feel like mine. Did I really bring you here?" "Well..." Sori hedged. " I guess I might have helped. I did sequester you, after all. I just didn''t realize that your mind had other connections, so my quarantine kind of failed." "See, it''s stuff like that that makes me distrust you. That sounds like you know exactly what''s going on." I told Sori. "What kind of secretary doesn''t know quarantine procedure? Listen to yourself!" Sori objected. "And why was I quarantined?" "Did... did you not notice the blue glow? Man, that''s not normal? Everybody else is green. I''d say you stick out like a swore thumb, except I only ever catch glimpses of you out of the corner of my eye." Sori demonstrated by twisting all about as though searching for something. "Well, who''s fault was that? Before the apocalypse, I was just a normal non-glowing person." "Normal people glow green. No wonder you''re blue." "Yeah, that''s all pretty new." "Oh, Sam, you are so wrong," the orb said disappointedly. "You are one of the only non-green things in all of existence. I think that makes you the devil." "What are you talking about? You''re not green." "I''m a mirror, Sam. Mirrors are all green; it''s called science. But they also reveal what you are, which is to say, you''re blue and not-green." "What makes green so much better?" "Well, now you''re just being irrational," Sori said while looking back and forth like it was a head shaking in disappointment. I couldn''t help but laugh. If this thing ended up being an alien mastermind deftly manipulating me into trusting it, I would feel so stupid. But I honestly couldn''t believe Sori understood what was going on any better than me. It wouldn''t surprise me if it ended up being some alien artificial intelligence intentionally kept naive, if intelligent enough to take commands. Maybe I could use that to my advantage. "Hey, if I asked you to stop the vortex around Forest Lake, what would you say?" "I''d say the vortex is already lowered." "So what, there''s no going back?" "There''s never any going back." The eye said, voice dripping with drama, staring off at nothing, somehow looking forlorn. "Okay, you''re way too good at conveying emotion for an unchanging floating eyeball mirror." Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. "Duh, it''s called illusion. Weren''t you paying attention? Hands already showed you, I couldn''t see very well because Hands is so loud, but I''m sure you were there." "hold up. You''re an illusion? Am I still in the hospital?" "Well, you are still in the hospital. But your mind is here. I told you, I sequestered your mind! I''m not an illusion¡ªI don''t think I''m an illusion¡ªAm I an illusion, or is it just our friendship?" "You''re messing with my head?" I asked, suddenly on guard again. "No, no, no. I mean. You know how it is when you look a little different. I just made positive association easier, but it only works because I''m exactly as cool as my illusion makes me¡ªand twice as cool as most people think I am when they first see me. Well¡­ I''m using the word "people" loosely there. Really it was ''person.'' More specifically, it was a dolphin person. He did not like me. But he should! Right? I mean, we''re best buds now!" "I wouldn''t say that." But I had to admit, it was a bit odd I could act so chummy with a mystical flying orb. It would be more surprising if he wasn''t manipulating me. "Wait, I thought you said I was the first person you met? That''s why I had to name you." The eye laughed. "Of course, you don''t need to name me. My name is Sori, obviously. Oh, Sam, it''s like I''m talking to myself over here. Besides, Hands saw right through my illusion; he didn''t want to talk to me. He just splashed me with water and swam away. It was very rude. Oh God, I hope that was water." "Hands splashed you with water, or the dolphin did?" I asked, feeling more confused by the moment. Sori laughed. "Hands is the dolphin. I should not have shown him how to do illusions; he took to it like a fish to water¡ªor, I guess, like a dolphin to water. But he cheats. Never teach a dolphin illusion magic." I thought back to the strange dolphin swimming around in that pool and how Hands had just stepped out of thin air. Maybe Hands had been turned into a dolphin the same way I''d been turned into a werewolf? "We''re definitely coming back to all of that," I said, "But you said my mind was here, and my body was still in the hospital. What happens if I die in there while my mind is here?" "Oh, don''t worry, the day will reset on schedule, and you''re body will too. Not your mind, though. Curious. Why is that? Oh! You did break the trash collectors!" "No, I haven''t even seen any trash collectors-" "Well, maybe that''s how you broke them¡ªby not paying attention. What I do know is this place is basically a junkyard. Somehow you claimed part of the dump as a domain and broke the trash collectors, then you just left that power lying around. My God, I don''t think I''ve ever met someone so dumb. But I do have memory problems. Sam," Sori said, his voice sounding disappointed. "How do you keep forgetting that about me?" I opened my mouth, trying to find a response to any of that. I puffed my cheeks out in a raspberry sigh. "I guess I''ll try to keep my eyes open? New question. Did my body change in the real world, too, or just in this strange-ass place?" "Sam, Sam, Sam, you''re beautiful just the way you are. You''ll never be a dolphin; you should give up on that now. Actually¡­. Wait, I might be able to make you a dolphin. But I won''t. I don''t want to play God." "You literally introduced yourself to me as the one and many god. Also, I don''t want to be a dolphin; I just want to know if this is real. Am I human again in the real world? Do I have a voice?" "I can''t believe you didn''t capitalize the ''G''! How disrespectful!" "What?" "Anyway, everyone confuses themselves for capital-G God sometimes, but I don''t think I''m the one that made you human. Were you not human?" "Originally? Yes. Since the apocalypse, though, I''ve been a large glowing werewolf." "That''s probably what you get for breaking the trash collectors and glowing blue. You really should fix them soon." "I don''t even know what you''re talking about; besides, I''m not exactly a handyman; I''ve never even changed a tire." "Oh, it''s so easy! You''ll need to find your memories, though. Honestly, I can''t believe you left them just lying around. Then you just make like Peter Pan and sew the shadow to your feet." Sori said. It was as much nonsense as anything else Sori had said, but here again, I was hearing about a ''shadow'' that was clearly no such thing. "I just have so many questions. What shadow? And what does it have to do with trash collectors? Also, are you saying I intentionally gave up memories?" "The shadow from the Haze, which is to say, the door to this place. Well, not THE door, but certainly A door. Or actually, not so much a door as a veil, really. Now that I think about it, it''s more like everything else is the veil, and your shadow is a hole to this dump." Sori said, whirling his eye around to take in the whole ship and the ethereal ocean beyond. "Hey, I like this place." "Of course you do, but that doesn''t mean it''s not the dump. We''re surrounded by trash left behind by the trash collectors, and you''re building yourself a home. It''s very you. Anyway, the trash collectors can''t clear away the rubble of yesterday so long as your shadow is leaking all over the place. That''s probably why you''re a monster; you''re covered in yesterday''s leftovers. Just one more reason to fix the trash collectors." "Wait, you''re saying if I fix the trash collectors, I''ll go back to being human?" "What do I look like, an architect? But probably." "You definitely should have said so earlier. What do I need to do?" "I told you, find your memories and take your shadow back. I can walk you through the rest later. Whoops, I think you''re gonna need some help, though. Those crows do not like you." "God dammit, are you just watching them kill me while I''m stuck here.'' "You brought us here." "So you said, but I don''t know how to leave." "That will also make it hard for you to do illusion magic. Except here, I suppose, you could probably do some cool things in this place. So much junk memory that can be made into anything. It stinks tho. Why would you live in a junkyard?" "What are you even -you know what, sure. Let''s figure out a way out of this ''junkyard,'' and if you want to teach me illusions, I won''t say no. Besides, if I''m about to get crow-sified, I think I''d rather not be there for it." "A crow pun? Really? That''s terrible. It''s also a bad idea, if technically possible. You''d have to time it perfectly. If your memories are here when your body is reinitialized, it''ll create a blank Sam. I suppose you could reintegrate, but it would be copying your memories to that Sam. For him, it would be the same, but for you, it wouldn''t be. I don''t recommend that avenue. But it''s your call." "Well, what can you teach me quickest that might save me from being torn apart by crows?" "Well, I can show you how to make glamours that will change how people perceive you. It''s tricky, but if you can get inside their heads and figure out how to show them what they expect, you can make them treat you as a friend, easy." --=- --== 24 A Sphere of Many Talents --==Chapter 24: A Sphere of Many Talents--== "When I was a young elvish boy, growing up on the slopes of Ocanapu, my grandfather used to tell me, ''If you can shape how people see you, you''ll finally be happy.''" Sori said. "I don''t believe any of that is true," I replied skeptically. "But it could be, and that''s the point. And the more people want to believe it, the more they will believe it. So the trick becomes identifying what they want and transforming yourself completely to match their expectations; that''s how you''ll finally be happy." "That is all terrible advice. Can you just tell me how to physically do it and then maybe leave psychoanalyzing to licensed professionals?" "Boo, you ruin the fun." The orb said with a bouncing spin, "Alright, fine. It''s super easy; you just provide a pathway for their minds to follow using dream realm probabilities. This domain of yours should be useful for that. You transmit it to them in association with yourself or some other object." "You aren''t being as helpful as you think you are." "Of course I am; you''re just bad at this." "Ok, well, be more specific. How do I actually do any of that?" "You did something similar with Hands, using the memory crystal to store scenes you''d visualized." "Wow, you really have been spying on me." "Usually, I can barely see you. You''re an eye floater that I can only see if I don''t look right at you. It''s very annoying. Anyway, the illusion jutsu is similar to the visualization skill. Which makes sense if you know that Hands based that on this very illusion technique." "Why do you know Hands''s name, but you didn''t know mine? I kind of feel insulted." "That''s silly. Hands is part of the project; you''re just a piece of trash with a domain. I laughed, "Goddamn, it''s a good thing I named you Sori; you''re an asshole." Funny or not, I still glanced around the stone ship for a rock or slipper to throw at the eldritch eye. "I didn''t end the world; I just live in it," Sori said. "Are you sure?" I asked. "I told you, I might have scheduled it, but anything that happened after that had nothing to do with me, as far as I can recall." "Which isn''t far." I reminded him. "Anyway, Hands''s name is easy to remember. He''s called Hands because he walks around on hands when he''s not in the pool. Well, really, whole arms. Wait, I wonder if his last name is Armstrong. I should have asked him! Well, he probably wouldn''t have answered. He was very rude. Will you ask him? He showed you the visualization trick, so I bet he likes you!" Everything Sori said sounded too fantastical to be real, and he was obviously wrong and confused about some things. I was pretty sure he wasn''t an elf raised on the slopes of wherever, for example. Hands had appeared out of nowhere, so he might know how to do illusions. I was less sure that he was actually a dolphin monster that used arms as legs. Though, I had seen an albino dolphin, and I knew firsthand that a person could find themselves transformed. Surreally, it wasn''t something I could rule out. "You realize he literally killed me right after that, right?" "Yeah, but you got better," Sori said dismissively. "Just think about it. Either way, you already know how to visualize, which would be great if we were trying to create a visual illusion, but we''re not." "Why was that again? It seems like visual illusions could be useful." "The complexity is significantly higher; you''d need a lot more time to learn how to do it well. Also, while they might be the most compelling, they''re super easy to see through. Even idiots can easily pierce through them." "You''re only saying that because I didn''t realize Hands was a dolphin." "I mean, it''s in the name!" "What? No¡ªWhat? Most dolphins don''t have hands." "Yeah, but Hands Armstrong?" Sori said as though he couldn''t believe I hadn''t made some connection. "Ok, first off, You just made up that last name." "I made up that first name too." "Secondly, he''s the only Dolphin I''ve ever heard of having hands, and I suspect you gave him more than just names." "I didn''t give him arms and hands!" Sori said indignantly. "I told you, I just schedule things, and I don''t think I even scheduled that." Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author. "Alright, alright," I conceded, "So, I what, visualize the emotion? Do I need one of the memory crystals?" "You don''t need a memory crystal. Probably. I''ve never actually taught a werewolf magic. But no, you shouldn''t. Anyway, visualize, exactly, except you don''t actually visualize anything. Instead, you have to empathize. Feel what they feel, what they want to feel. For some reason, people are scared of you. I think it''s the blue aura. Have I mentioned how weird that is? Anyway, I call things like that a trigger. You have to change what triggers are associated with you in their minds. So first, understand what they feel and why. Then consider what you want them to feel about you instead and the thing that triggers that emotion. All that''s left is for you to transmit this trigger-feeling pair. Easy peasy." "Okaaay¡­ let''s assume, for a second, that I follow most of that. What do you mean transmit?" "Well, Hands uses echolocation. I use my ghost powers." "I thought you were an elf?" "A dead elf ghost." "And God''s secretary?" "A spook''s gotta work." "A horseman of the apocalypse, an angel, and an Alien intelligence?" "Everyone knows the four horsemen are angels and angels are elves; just ask Santa. And if you thought either were local, well, that would make you stupid." "Are you hoping you''ll just stumble onto your origin if you make enough guesses?" I asked the orb with mocking amusement in my voice. "You literally have no idea what you are, do you?" "I know what I am! I''m a higher plane nexus point that is the Venn diagram of all the best Sori''s! Anyway, how are you so confident you know what you are? You''re human? Normally you''re running around terrifying people as a blue wolf-man. If I were you, I''d be more suspicious of my own memories. But that''s none of my business." Sori was underestimating me if he thought he would unnerve me with the idea. I was a nihilist and not wholly convinced anything could even be called ''real'' anyway. And that was before the world ended in such an unlikely way. I smirked in response. "like Popeye, I yam what I yam." "Well, stop, and instead, be what you pretend," Sori replied. "You''re going to need to be more specific on how I actually'' cast'' the illusion." "You just convey it. It''s as easy. Would you just try it already?" Sori said, "I wanna see!" "Yeah yeah, fine, I''ll give it a go. But will it even work on you?" "It''ll work on anything with complex memory. Of course, I can reason my way out of any random illusion; trust me, I''m clearly a wizard of the highest order." "I thought we decided you were god''s virtual assistant?" "I''m a sphere of many talents." I considered my options. Thinking it was best to keep it simple. I decided to share the familiarity I''d felt that echoed my friendship with Jon. I''d set my appearance as a trigger associated with that friendship. See this face? It''s me, your best bud. Not that I was sure how to cast any of that as an illusion. Presumably, there was some kind of magic intent at work. Absent better ideas, I just smiled at the floating eye while focusing on the idea that we were friends. The eye started the shiver before bursting into gales of laughter that saw it fall from the air and nearly hit the ship before righting itself and floating back up. "Oh, oh, that was amazing! You, uh, you used the illusion I used on you, back on me. That''s the best. Oh lord, I needed that." Shit. "You, um, have been casting an illusion on me?" "I''m pretty sure I mentioned that." "So you don''t remind me of Jon? Because you really seem to." "Of COURSE I remind you of Jon. That was another problem with your illusion. You shared what you wanted me to feel and didn''t change a thing. The illusion needs to be based on the target''s emotions. You have to create an illusion that I want, not that you want." "You''re a floating mirrored eye whose backstory changes every few minutes; how am I supposed to know what you want?" "You know I''m using an illusion on you to increase our familiarity. What does that tell you?" "That I should trust you less. Since I know it''s an illusion, shouldn''t the feeling fade?" "That''s why memory illusions are better than visual illusions. Even if you want to believe those illusions, once you can see through them, they become nothing more than a dim projection. Memory illusions like this let you affect things like emotional responses. People trust their emotions even when they really shouldn''t. They follow their hearts even when they know they''ll regret it. More, they invest in those feelings, seek reasons to explain and justify them. You''re doing it even now. "As far as either of us knows, I''m an eldritch horror sent to torture you for eternity. But because I associated myself with your memories of friendship, you can''t just choose to stop liking me. Plus, I reinforced that illusion with my aloof behavior and honest nature. Now you rationalize trusting me as a necessity and fun, or at least familiar. I''ve bypassed fear and distrust, the pain emotions that would be reasonable in this situation. Anyway, your choice of illusion was only part of the problem. It was also an incredibly spotty transmission." "Maybe if you''d explain things properly-" "Emotionally conditioned illusions are the easiest illusions to cast. I''m not sure how you''ll ever manage Procedural or Semantic illusions, let alone Episodic illusions, if you can''t figure out even this much. Maybe it just takes practice¡­." Sori said, not sounding convinced. "Could you at least try to explain," I said, exasperated. "What was wrong with my ''transmission''?" "It was like a whisper. You what? Tried to use a smile to cast the illusion? I mean, that''s fine, but it better be a pretty memorable smile. Be bolder, less self-conscious. It''s not about what you feel; it''s- Whoops, we''re out of time. Not good, you are not ready. Here, take these buttons instead. Study these. The circle ones will put a force field the size of a car around you. Don''t forget what I said. Best friends forever, byeeeee." A sudden pressure thumped into my whole being. Every inch of me felt like it had been hit by a giant pillow. I felt like I was falling for a brief moment, and then everything went black. 25 Some Kind of Crow Wizard ome Kind of Crow Wizard---= Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more. 26 This Isnt The Same Emptiness --=-Chapter 26: This Isn''t The Same Emptiness--=- Another jackass after my shadow. Unfortunately for them, I didn''t know anything about the shadow¡ªexcept that I needed it to regain my memories. Still, while we were talking, they were dropping insights into the apocalypse. If they were right, at least some of the creatures running the apocalypse were born from human traumas. I wanted to see what other information I could get out of Crowseph, but, however open-minded I was about the surreal events of the apocalypse, this creature still had me on edge. Crowseph wasn''t physically imposing, but it wasn''t every day you saw a crow manifest from a face like it was a portal to the land of birds. I tried not to eye the silver buttons lying on the floor between us. They were an untested defense against a mysterious butler who identified as a flock of crows in a tailed suit. Given my size and thick blue fur, I doubted that the crows could kill me, but they clearly had more going on beneath the surface than I knew. Dying itself wasn''t so bad¡ªeven before time began to loop, it hadn''t been a significant fear of mine. It was the slow trudge through pain and terror that accompanied death that I was most eager to avoid. It seemed to me dying was like shitting; quicker is usually better, even if too quick can be loud and jarring. Crowseph had walked in here unarmed and alone, or at least singular. That alone was enough to have my hackles up. By contrast, Hands had drugged me, pointed guns at me, and trapped me with magic and threats before killing me out of caution. Crowseph had come to me, and only a few strides separated us. Still, he didn''t seem especially concerned that I might run or even attack. Even in my original human body, they wouldn''t have been that intimidating. They didn''t look strong, being thin and past middle age. If anything, they looked like a harsh school teacher¡ªsomeone who might lecture me on the importance of proper punctuation. They looked stern but not physically imposing. On the other hand, I was at least 7 feet tall, hulking, and monstrous. Which was sort of the point. To anyone with eyes, Crowseph was trapped in a smallish room with me, not the other way around. Even if they could release a torrent of crows from their face, there was only so much space to fly around. It shouldn''t be enough to do more than inconvenience me. However, Crowseph was still here, telling me how he would torture and subjugate Alice and Jessica. I had to wonder what other magic the crow-wizard had at his disposal. What exactly are you trying to accomplish with your ''educating?'' You''re right that I''m missing memories. So far, all you''ve taught me is that you''re a threat I have to deal with. About halfway through my thought, I realized the crow on my shoulder wasn''t speaking. I glanced over at the bird; it was utterly unmoving. For a second, I thought it was dead, a belief that was reinforced a second later when its aura drained away. "I did it!" the crow said, sounding self-impressed. Distracted by whatever was happening with my shoulder crow, I barely managed to see the attack coming. I saw a dark blur of motion from the corner of my eye and threw myself forward at Sori''s buttons. I didn''t see Crowseph hit me, but I felt myself come to a jarring halt in midair as my direction suddenly reversed. One of my clawed fingers snagged the chain, and I clenched my fist, clinging hard to the supposed shield charms. My body crashed into a cabinet, my breath forced from my lungs as the countertop slammed into the middle of my back. I fell limply to the floor, dazed. The next second, the monster was standing over me. It was humanoid and at least 9 feet. It was a glossy black, covered in feathers that ranged in size from the size of a fingernail to the size of a toddler. Its arms and upper body were stacked with enough muscle that it could probably rip my arm from my body. I hadn''t seen the change, but it could only be Crowseph as there was no other sign of the gentleman butler. Crowseph was rearing back to stomp me with a clenched taloned foot¡ªlike some kind of demon kingfisher with bulging thews. I glanced at my hand with the chain, and my heart fell. I''d missed it. I wasn''t holding the chain after all; it had been a phantom sensation. I threw my arms up to block but managed to deflect the strike instead. I knocked their leg up and over my shoulder, past my head. Crowseph stumbled, trying to regain their balance, and I took the opportunity to roll clear. I felt a massive hand close on my fur, but their grip was poor, and I only lost a small clump in my escape. Once again, I dove for the medallions. A crow was also flying for them; it could be the one that had been sitting on my shoulder. I wasn''t sure when it had gotten off the ride, probably during that first hit, but it was going to beat me to the necklace. What the hell just happened? It made sense now that Crowseph wasn''t worried about being trapped in a room with me. With or without the buttons, it was time to leave. I ran for the door. Crowseph would be on me in a moment, I was sure. I looked over my shoulder to check. Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon. Look, just don''t do that. Running requires looking forward. I tripped. My head hit the floor with a thunk, only partly dampened by my fur. Blinking, I scooted backward, putting my back to the door while trying to steel myself for an impact. It didn''t come. A crow was flying right at me with the necklace in its talons. Crowseph had grown even larger while I''d tried to run and was now almost twice my size, his head scraping the ceiling. It was terrifying enough that I immediately dismissed the lone crow swooping at me. One of my pawed hands pulled at the door handle. In a panic, I tried to pull myself to my feet to run¡ªthen, the crow dropped the shield necklace in my lap. I was so startled that I let the bird land back on my shoulder. I probably would have dropped the buttons, but they literally fell in my hand. The door was locked. That or it opened inward, and my weight held it closed. Crowseph was putting his head down, about ready to start another too-fast charge. Squeezing my eyes shut, I clenched my fist around one of the buttons, feeling a click as the button triggered. The force field spawned up around me, already fully extended. It was a good thing I hadn''t managed to hit the button when right next to Crowseph, I would have been trapped inside with him. The force field was a yellowish color and two or three inches thick. I couldn''t tell if it was double-layered or actually that thick. Either way, I hoped it would be enough to stop a rampaging monster. Crowseph''s hulking feathered form slammed into the shield like a truck, and I heard a terrible crunching sound that could only be its bones breaking. It bounced away and rolled across the floor. When it got up, it was rotating its arm around its shoulder. The joint was more than broken. Deformed as it was, something was clearly crushed. But, as I watched, it began to reform as though inflating. "Oh great. It heals." The bird said, speaking my thoughts in a familiar voice. There was still madness in the crow-monsters eyes, and it barely scanned the room before it grabbed the heavy motorized hospital bed by one end. It twisted as it pulled, and the massive bed lifted from the ground, swinging at my shield. I scrabbled to my feet, unsure how much abuse the shields could take. Escape was still my priority, but the shield blocked me from reaching the door handle, so all I could do was brace and hope the several-hundred-pound bed didn''t break through. The impact that followed was loud, my eyes blinking uncontrollably through the cacophony, but the shield held. The crow that had helped me was still on my shoulder. Thank you. I thought at it, not knowing why it had chosen to rebel. "Sure, Sam, no problem." The familiar voice said from the crow. Wait. Sori? I thought, feeling stunned. "Interesting," Crowseph said, once again in his butler form. I''d missed the transformation again. In moments they''d gone from human to monster and back. "Dude, what the fuck¡± I said through crow-Sori. "How have you done this? This isn''t the power of your shadow." Crowseph said. "Oh, yeah, well, that crow''s mind was wide open, and your hand-eye coordination is trash, so I thought I''d help out. Hey. Do you think maybe I''m a ghost? Like the ghost of a bird that travels around helping weary souls and scheduling apocalypses?" Sori replied. I didn''t know if he was talking to me or Crowseph. "Is it mad?" the butler asked. Aren''t we all? I thought, and Sori-Crow repeated it dutifully. I had questions for the thing on my shoulder, but my heart was still pounding and telling me not to take my eyes off the frail-looking man again. It maybe shouldn''t have been surprising that his shape was mutable and his mass significant. I didn''t know how many crows made up his body, but I got the impression from its sheer density that it was hundreds. "Perhaps we acted in hast," Crowseph said thoughtfully. "This isn''t the same emptiness as has been seen elsewhere. This is new. We came here to educate you. Perhaps an exchange of information would be more beneficial." --=- --== 27 I Can Take Them All --==Chapter 27: I Can Take Them All --== Crowseph had given up on attacking my barrier, but I wasn¡¯t letting down my guard. I didn¡¯t know how much punishment the force field could actually take. I wanted to be ready to slip through the door if they resumed their attack and the shield fell. Still, my best chance of helping Alice and Jessica would be if Crowseph gave them up. ¡°Are my friends still alive?¡± Sori asked for me. I was interested in an information exchange. Crowseph could remember the loops, and he certainly had information I wanted. But I wasn¡¯t here for information; I was here for them. ¡°Friends? How much do they really remember about you? For that matter, how much do you remember about them? No, don¡¯t answer that; we don¡¯t care other than to note your over-sentimentality. As for whether they¡¯re alive? They will be in a few hours. For now, their bodies have been broken, and their souls rest in limbo, awaiting the start of the next loop.¡± ¡°Fucking Asshole,¡± I said, furious. ¡°You¡¯re not making me want to make a deal.¡± ¡°We told you before that you were too late. That didn¡¯t change just because you managed to surprise us.¡± ¡°You said their only hope was my shadow. What did you mean?¡± ¡°When we met before, you had access to a Shadow. You could step into and out of it at will. You were capable of storing people and items in it. Anything put in your shadow would not reappear when the day once again looped. You alone seemed capable of killing permanently. It was your main leverage against us. Without it, we are less concerned by you, or would be, if you didn¡¯t manage to steal one of our own from us.¡± ¡°I took one; I can take them all,¡± I said through Sori, unsure if it was true. Crowseph ignored my threat and gestured at the necklace I still held in one hand. ¡°I assume that¡¯s the means of control. A talisman of some kind?¡± He must not have seen Sori snag the string of silver buttons and deliver them to me. Better not to give him answers, at least not ones that would ease his caution. Besides, he hadn¡¯t answered my question. ¡°We¡¯re not done talking about the shadow. You haven¡¯t said everything. What made you think I could use it to help Alice and Jessica. You said I¡¯d need it to ¡®save¡¯ them. How does that work if you¡¯ve already killed them?¡± ¡°Even you can¡¯t hold death in the same esteem as you once did, not now that its grip is so transient. They have died, but time will return them to us. As I told you, they will be hunted, haunted even, by trauma demons born from their own minds and experiences.¡± ¡°You¡¯re saying their violent deaths at your hands traumatized them even with their limited memories?¡± ¡°Or because of their limited memories, who can say. But yes. More than just traumatized, though. Their traumas won''t manifest as nightmares, but nightmares made flesh. We¡¯re sure you know the beings we¡¯re talking about; twisted and violent creatures who eagerly attack anyone they see.¡± ¡°Have you looked in a mirror? Sounds like you.¡± ¡°Of course. How could we be anything else, born from shared suffering as we were? However, unlike trauma demons, we can reason and remember.¡± ¡°Great. How is any of this related to helping Alice and Jessica.¡± ¡°Our first meeting was not so different from this one. Another woman was meant to be one of us. You took her from us, but you were also too late then. We expected her to join us in no more than a loop or three. We watched her, watched you and Titania work to save her from herself. When she didn¡¯t join us, we investigated. What we found was an empty vessel. She was still and without aura or will¡ªwithout a soul. When her spirit rejoined her body, the memory of the trauma was gone, as was the demon. It was the power of your shadow at work.¡± ¡°I¡¯d love it if you could be more specific," Sori said dryly, excellently reflecting my sentiment. "Also, who is Titania?¡± Crowseph gave me a flat stare. ¡°Titania. Your ally, the child soldier. Half human half trauma, with pale bat wings and demon horns protruding from her head.¡± Their description was a mix of familiar, confusing, and revelatory. ¡°Do you mean Nia? Blonde? About yea high?¡± I asked, holding up a hand to estimate her height. Her dad¡¯s name was Titus; Titania could be her full name or a nickname. ¡°It''s as you say.¡± Crowseph nodded. I wasn¡¯t surprised that Nia had been helping me before I lost my memories. She¡¯d clearly been familiar with me in that first loop. It was also the surest I¡¯d been that it hadn¡¯t been a dream. As Crowseph had said, she¡¯d had pale green wings and horns growing from her head. She¡¯d also clearly had memories I didn¡¯t. Even if I found the ¡®shadow¡¯ people kept going on about, I didn¡¯t know how to use it to help Jessica and Alice. ¡°Ok, So Nia helped. But what did I actually do?¡± ¡°We couldn¡¯t tell you how your own shadow magic worked. Some of the humans might be able to tell you more. We hypothesize that your shadow is a tool of destruction. Having met you, we doubt it''s especially complex. Now. Your turn. How did you put that crow¡¯s mind outside our grasp.¡± Did that bird asshole just call me stupid? Stop, Sori, don¡¯t say that out loud. Thankfully Sori didn¡¯t repeat my inner monologue. Sori had talked about broken trash collectors, which also seemed to refer to the mysterious shadow. He¡¯d also called the ether a memory dump. Maybe that was literal. My shadow could really be some kind of portal to another dimension. I considered how to respond. I was starting to get the shape of things but was still at a disadvantage. Crowseph was playing it cautious, but I had no sword to match my shield. I doubted Sori was actually able to control Crowseph¡¯s whole flock. Thinking fast, I passed on a script to Sori. ¡°I¡¯m weighing the value of what you shared and what I could share. What I know will reshape your understanding of this new world. So I¡¯ll require further concessions.¡± ¡°That was not the agreement.¡± ¡°Well, it was never sealed; it''s a living deal. You can decide for yourself whether I¡¯m holding up my end if you ever hear what I¡¯ve learned.¡± Crowseph pursed his thin lips in thought as he weighed me with a piercing look of a predator trying to lock on to prey. ¡°Fine. It¡¯s a living deal. Take care lest you starve it. What further terms would you ask.¡± The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°I want to know what the previous accord was. I want to consider a new accord. It apparently benefited us both once. I want you to leave Alice and Jessica alone. Dead or alive, they return to their friends and family with me. And you leave people under my protection alone.¡± ¡°We told you. Alice and Jessica are already half ours. The rest is not unworkable, although your protection cannot be unlimited. Again, however, it is workable.¡± ¡°What do you mean they¡¯re half yours. You¡¯re saying you can¡¯t stop the process?¡± ¡°They will be haunted by a demon in future loops. It is a demon spawned from their own minds. Over time it will grow. Eventually, it¡¯ll get strong enough to claim their minds, very much like how you claimed that crow''s mind. You can see why our interest is piqued. "When their minds are seized, they¡¯ll become enemies of all, including our flock. To prevent this, we destroy and divide their trauma between us. This allows us to join them and bring them into the flock. With or without our intervention, your friends will be gone. We know of no way to stop it without your shadow. If you want us to make a new accord¡ªand learn of the old one¡ªor for us to agree to the rest, we require you to tell us how you wrested that part of our flock to your side first.¡± I decided I might as well tell what I could. It really wasn¡¯t much. ¡°I found an otherworldly being in a dream. He''s possessing your bird. His name is Sori, and last time I saw him, he was a floating silver eyeball.¡± Crowseph looked at me skeptically. ¡°I¡¯m going to need much more information.¡± Sori hopped off my shoulder and flew forward to land on a rolling tray table. ¡°Allow me,¡± Sori said. ¡°As you can see, there are no strings on me. You wanted to know how I took control of your fine feathered friend here? Well, the owner was out, so I thought I¡¯d just make myself at home. You know, squatters'' rights.¡± ¡°What?¡± Crowseph said. Since my voice box had just taken it on himself to ditch me, I just gave Crowseph a doggy grin; that was the most relatable they¡¯d been all day. ¡°I¡¯m a dream spirit. I live in the dreams of everything that dreams, wandering from mind to mind.¡± Sori said. I was pretty sure none of that was true. Or rather, I doubted whether Sori knew if it was true. ¡°When I saw this empty body just lying around, I had to take the chance. Tell him Sam¡ªoh right, you can¡¯t talk to Sam. Or rather, he can¡¯t talk to you. Well, actually, both, though I suppose it depends on what you mean by talking. Or what I mean, since I¡¯m the one that is talking.¡± Honestly, I didn¡¯t know what I¡¯d expected, but I was almost giddy with delight watching the confusion on Crowseph''s face. ¡°It¡¯s a tiny mad god. Or some kind of spirit of the inane and insane.¡± Crowseph said, looking at Sori in a mix of disgust and wonder. ¡°You are right. This changes everything.¡± I had no idea what Crowseph was talking about specifically, but progress was progress. ¡°I will cede the hospital to you in its entirety if you give me this being.¡± They said to me, awe in their voice. Sori was still standing on the rolling table, so I didn¡¯t have a way to respond, even if I wanted to. Sori snorted. ¡°That¡¯s a terrible deal. There¡¯s a whole town out there. They have a Sears.¡± He said, his voice filled with awe. ¡°I just read about it; I haven¡¯t actually seen it. Do you think it¡¯s as cool as it is in the movies?¡± ¡°Tell me, spirit, how many of my number can you actually control at once,¡± Crowseph asked, already learning to ignore Sori¡¯s ramblings. A lot, please say a lot! I thought, desperately hoping Sori might somehow still be able to hear me. ¡°Oh, just the one. Yeah, you don¡¯t have to worry about me taking over your whole flock. My only real option would be to take over one bird at a time and fly head-first into a wall or barbed wire or something, over and over until there were none left. It would take several minutes, so ¨C You know, nothing to worry about. Right?¡± I stepped up behind Sori-crow before he could undermine his own threat. I picked him up gently, and placed him back on my shoulder. The force field didn¡¯t move with me, confirming a suspicion. I¡¯d have to let down the shield to get away from Crowseph. Considering the yellow barrier blocked the doorway, I was the one trapping us together at this point. Hey, Sori, translate for me again, I thought at him. ¡°Sori was never a human or an animal that he remembers. I believe he¡¯s a part of the apocalypse that sealed off this town.¡± ¡°The town knows what it did,¡± Sori said sinisterly before chuckling maniacally. ¡°He¡¯s not something I own or can control, But like he said, it would be a terrible deal. Sears or no, you are brutal and violent. However you prefer to dress or present yourself, I won¡¯t just unleash you on a town.¡± ¡°You are an arrogant fool. You have never leashed us, and we fully expect you to destroy yourself in short order. Again.¡± Crowseph responded. ¡°But fine. You asked what our previous accord was. It was simply one of territory. You and yours would respect the boundaries of our roost. In exchange, we wouldn¡¯t claim those under your protection. Three of you broke that accord by invading my territory. We allowed you to pass through unmolested. Your charges weren¡¯t as respected. When they tried to pass through later, we defended our territory, and three of us were killed by Alice. We allowed them to retreat, but such action cannot go unanswered. You should understand.¡± I remembered running through the ER, chased by bullets that I later realized Jon had been firing. Jon must have followed me, but I hadn¡¯t realized Alice and Jessica had too. ¡°I¡¯d lost my memories, and I¡¯m sure neither Jessica nor Alice knew anything about it.¡± Crowseph hadn¡¯t mentioned Jon¡¯s involvement, so I wouldn¡¯t bring him up, in case it made things worse. ¡°That¡¯s unimportant. It''s not a matter of respect; it''s a matter of practicality.¡± ¡°I want two addendums," I told the creature. "First, if you get a territory, then so do I. If crows come into surgery again, don¡¯t expect me to ignore that. Second, I want to bring this crow with me when I leave. I don¡¯t usually have a voice; it will make communicating the accord easier if I can speak like this.¡± ¡°You are far from controlling surgery. It will only be considered your territory while you are personally present. Even that is generous. Take the crow. But treat him kindly. Violence against him will be considered breaking the accord.¡± We hammered out the details over the next little while. Eventually, we reached an agreement that neither of us liked and brought the negotiations to a close. I lowered the force field and cautiously approached Crowseph to accept their offered handshake. I was stuck behaving more civilly toward the creature than I wanted to. I didn¡¯t know how many people they had tortured and killed to grow their weird collective, but this wasn¡¯t the same world I grew up in. I also had enough on my hands without trying to take on more. Crowseph was an issue that needed to be addressed, but hopefully not by me. It was also becoming apparent that laws and morality were about to go through a dramatic shift. Society would be dragged along whatever it tried. I didn¡¯t know what that would look like yet, but, if it was going to be anything other than chaos, temporary peaces would have to be found with natural adversaries. Alice and Jessica were dead. After I lowered the force field, Crowseph stepped into the hallway and sent crows to deliver Alice and Jessica''s bodies to Nia¡¯s group. I hoped they showed them some respect¡ªif only to soften the blow for Nia and their friends. ¡°Well then, Oberon, until one of us gains a new edge. You really did sell your advantage too cheap. Ultimately, your spirit friend is impressive but limited in its own ways. And if one exists, so do others. Don¡¯t let yourself believe this matter is entirely settled; We¡¯re sure we¡¯ll speak again.¡± As they turned to walk away, they dissolved into hundreds of crows that disappeared down the hall into the ER. "What a tool," Sori said from my shoulder. --== 28 It Was Barely Self-Serving At All ---=Chapter 28: It Was Barely Self-Serving At All---= I walked back into the surgery wing. My backpack and bat had been left where I collapsed in the hall, and I decided to collect them before I returned to the rear lobby to face Nia and the rest. I needed time to think. Alice and Jessica were dead. Soon they wouldn''t be human or individuals unless I could find a way to interrupt a transformation I didn''t really understand. Sori, how much of what Crowseph said was true? "Oooo, you all said a lot of words... I might have zoned out. Can you be more specific?" Sori said, sounding embarrassed. Jesus, you''re exhausting. "My name is Sori, Soooorriii-" Not the time. Let''s start with what Crowseph said about the monsters like Tickles and Slender Hopper, are they really caused by human trauma? "Hmm, sounds dubious. Like the superstition that causes have effects." Causes DO have effects. "They do? And you''re sure that''s not just what your parents told you so you''d give them credit when Santa delivered presents? Well, maybe it''s true then." I don''t understand how that would even work. How does the world end so badly that nightmares take on life and flesh? "Oh, that''s easy. It''s the crystals. They remember being living things, so when the day loops, they go back to being alive." So then, Alice and Jessica, they''ll end up spawning two new ''trauma monsters?'' "I think Crowseph called them ''trauma demons''" I don''t like the religious connotations. "Sure, sure, pick and choose what you believe," Sori said with perfect sincerity. Whatever they''re called, I thought with some exasperation, will they turn them into crows? Somehow that seems too far-fetched. "Far-fetched how? People often become their traumas, don''t they? Abusers were abused, as they say." That''s a far cry from becoming a bird because birds attacked you. "Says the wolf man." Are you suggesting I was attacked by a wolf and turned into a werewolf? "That''s how werewolves are made in the movies, isn''t it? Then again, you''ve always been weird. To answer your question, I don''t think Crowseph was lying." And if I found the shadow everyone is going on about, I''d be able to do something about it? Sori''s bird head nodded. "Of course. You''d just throw away the problematic trauma, and the trash collectors would do the rest. Assuming you can fix them, which I am." And this isn''t you just trying to get me to go on your bizarre quest. "Of course not! It''s just a happy coincidence." Sori said, sounding pleased. I sighed. Any idea where I should go looking? "Did you check where you saw it last?" Saw what? My ''shadow?'' The only shadow I know about, I still have. "You are so naive. I can''t believe you didn''t use a single glamour on Crowseph." You literally laughed at my one attempt and told me I wasn''t ready. "You''re lucky I found that empty bird just sitting around. You never even said thank you!" The eldritch-possessed bird was right; I hadn''t. I patted the bird lightly on the head and pet his feathers gently. You''re right. You saved me like three times over. I did not want to fight that uber-crow. This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. Sori snorted. "What fight? They''d have smeared you across the floor." Well, thank you for all the help, even if we both know it''s only so I''ll fix the trash collectors. "Ah, but now we both want you to fix the trash collectors. That means it was barely self-serving at all!" I suppose. Not that it comes close to making up for your part in ending the world. "This again! What part of this world is ended? If anything, I saved the world. Death is almost impossible at this point." I don''t think Alice and Jessica feel saved, but whatever, let''s get back on topic. "Right. Your abysmal illusion magic. If you don''t practice, you won''t get any better." I meant my ''shadow.'' I don''t even know what it actually is or what it looks like. In other words, I don''t know how to find it or even where to look. Even if I find it, what do I do next? "Sam. It''s your shadow. You just have to walk into it and claim it. Worst case scenario, you have to clean out some squatters." Squatters? "Well, somebody is using your shadow. One look at Maebe should have been enough to tell you that." What about Maebe? "Come on, Sam. She''s got no aura. That doesn''t just happen; people are supposed to glow green. We''ve been over this. If you know of some way to take someone''s mind without a trash collector, I''d love to hear it." I didn''t answer Sori immediately. I had always been critical of the idea that the world or people were meant to be a certain way. I always believed we could and should be whatever we wanted so long as we weren''t hurting others. Still, even that liberal ideology relied on assumptions about the world that no longer held true. Being human had always meant walking blindly through life. Only through generations of trial and error did we discover some truths that could be tested and verified. Before that, everything was guesswork. Now, here we were in the dark again, and all the things we used to know were now called into question. Everything would need to be proved again. Everything could be reasonably doubted. I had no solid ground. For maybe the first time in my life, I understood why people believed in gods. Religions were a starting point. They gave the world a shape, even when it was all bullshit. Until you have beliefs to question, it''s hard to know what questions to ask. Then again, maybe I was just an idiot. I stopped in the break room before walking back to the lobby. Nia''s group had no weapons, so I borrowed Anderson''s golf bag and slung it over my shoulder. It was a bit awkward since I also wore a backpack, but I wasn''t taking it far. I was procrastinating. Crowseph had already delivered Alice and Jessica them, so they knew already that I''d failed. I knew the day would loop, and they''d be back, but that didn''t diminish the pain they''d be feeling right now. I wasn''t eager to see more of that. So, I finally responded. If I can figure out how Maebe ended up catatonic, I''ll find the trash collectors. "That would make sense." Can''t you just tell me who has it? You seem to be able to see the crows even when we were on that stone ship. "Oh yeah, forget about private moments; I can see them all," Sori said brightly. So, can you find my shadow then? "Nope, Sorry. You and your shadow really don''t like to be seen. I barely found you. Your shadow is practically invisible." You aren''t being very helpful. I thought you wanted me to fix the trash collectors. Doesn''t that mean finding my shadow? "Well yeah, but what would I need you for if I could find them?" To fix them? "Right. That''s also true." Sori said thoughtfully. Then the bird ruffled its feathers in a shrug. "Two things can both be true, Sam." He said as though disappointed I''d asked such a question. Got it, I said, feeling annoyed. I basically need to luck into it. That''s great. You can''t narrow it down for me at all? Forest Lake isn''t that small. "Umm, it''s somewhere you died? After all, it''s your shadow. It''s not like someone else can move it around." "Any idea if I''ve left the hospital area since the vortex came down?" "Not that I saw, but you do not like to be seen most of the time." I wasn''t too surprised. I remembered that Sori had mentioned having difficulty spying on me like he did the rest of Forest Lake. Still, there was enough danger in my immediate vicinity that my shadow was probably nearby. I was pretty sure Crowseph didn''t have it, if for no other reason than they''d played it so cautious. Hands had been the first to tell me about my shadow, but he''d also been less careful than Crowseph, not to mention secretly the dolphin¡ªor so Sori claimed. Either way, I was less sure that Hands didn''t have it. Even if he didn''t have it last time we spoke, he had a head start on looking for it and might have found it. At the same time, if Hands was a dolphin and the shadow could only be moved by me¡ªboth dubious facts according to Sori¡ªhis ability to use it would be limited. Then again, Hands had goons to take out the trash for him. Crowseph seemed to want my shadow to eliminate a threat to itself more than anything. Though I had no doubt the murderous bird man would use it as ruthlessly as anyone else, Crowseph had his own way of permanently removing enemies. Hands''s motivations were less obvious, but I wasn''t sure they needed to be more complicated than power-seeking. In this environment, I couldn''t blame him, but he also didn''t seem like he''d be magnanimous about its use. Still, if it came down to it, I could just go ask him. I''d been drugged and hooded on my way to him, but the only pool in the hospital was for physical therapy, so he wouldn''t exactly be hard to find. I need to get back to the lobby before Nia, Anderson, and Denis leave. "Before you do that, we should review your emotional glamour again. You''ve only got two shield buttons left, after all. I can''t just hand those out willy-nilly. They attract too much attention." ---= --=- 29 When The Trouble Starts --=-Chapter 29: When The Trouble Starts--=- As it turned out, Sori had told me to study the buttons for a reason. He''d imbued each button with an example glamour. "Don''t think of it as emotional manipulation. Is it emotional manipulation to smile politely? To give a stranger a nod of your head in passing? Sure, it''s a bit more invasive than that since you affect people''s actual memory, but it''s only temporary. It''s also not foolproof. Anytime you play with a person''s emotions, there''s always an element of unpredictability." One button had a glamour similar to the one Sori used on me. "While you use this glamour, your target will associate you with friendliness and familiarity. There''s an implication of inequality with superiority for the target. People are often more likely to accept an emotion if it feeds their ego. People might ask you, ''Who''s a good boy?'' with this glamour, and the answer is always you. So get used to that." Another button might as well be labeled terror. "This is a flashbang of emotional glamour. It won''t last long, at least not unless you reinforce it was violence or something else that causes genuine fear. It would have been perfect to use on Crowseph rather than trapping yourself in the force-field bubble." That you gave me. "Only because you''re crap at illusions. Anyway, the third button is sort of between the first two. Like the friendship glamour, this one can be sustained so long as you don''t give them a reason to ignore how they feel. Like the flashbang, this glamour relies on negative feelings. You can pretty much use fear and anger interchangeably; people react to them very similarly. If that last button was ''terror,'' this glamour is intimidation." I thought I needed to use empathy to customize the glamours. "Obviously, these are just templates. They''ll feel intrusive and inappropriate if you don''t customize them, like a giggle at a funeral or the inexplicable impulse to drive into oncoming traffic." In all, we only spent a handful of minutes going over the buttons and the glamour. I could only use a single glamour at a time and only on one person at a time. This meant it would only be so effective in a group like Nia''s. Still, Sori insisted I practice on him at least once, just to be sure I''d listened. I unfocused my eyes as I concentrated on the familiarity I wanted Sori to feel toward me. "Understand what your target feels and why," Sori said. Sori had introduced himself to me as a god. Even if he''d decided he wasn''t a god, he still had some of that superiority I could play off of. He wasn''t worried about me; if anything, he felt comfortably familiar. That was probably his own glamour. Still, apparently, one of the strengths of the glamour was that it was difficult to ignore, even knowing it wasn''t real. Last time, I''d stopped here and sent that sensation of friendship back to Sori. He''d said it was like introducing yourself to someone by giving them their own name. Sori wanted me to see him in a friendly light, but that didn''t mean that was how he saw me. "What do you want your target to feel? What about you triggers that response?" Sori guided. I used the template that gave the impression that I was a friendly family pet. It was demeaning, but I had the ears and tail for it anyway. It was a mask¡ªand not the most degrading one I''d ever worn. I wagged my tail slightly and focused on the hopeful puppy-dog appeal dogs wear when asking to be fed table scraps. I remembered times I''d been goofy or playful and tried to fill my demeanor with the same energy. I imagined how Sori might play with a real dog. Visualization wasn''t part of the illusion like it was for storing thoughts on memory crystals. However, it was still helpful for finding the right emotions to instill into my glamour. The goal was to genuinely feel what I was trying to impress on the target. Finally came the tricky part. I had to transmit the glamour to Sori''s mind. I''d managed it in the ether, but I still wasn''t sure how. Hands supposedly used sound to shape visual illusions in his target''s mind. Sori said he used ''ghost powers'' but was vague about what that meant, and I was pretty sure he was wrong or lying anyway. Finally, he told me, "Have you ever had a conversation with someone across a crowded room using only your eyes and body language? Try doing that." Glamour ready, I looked up at Sori, perched on the break-room refrigerator. I could tell when I had his attention. Unsure what to do next, I settled on using body language. I''d gotten mixed success using my doggy grin already, so I decided to try using it as the mechanism for the illusion. I wasn''t really expecting it to work, but after a moment, a tendril of blue light shot out from my forehead, making my brow tickle. The light tendril darted across the space between me and Sori in a breath, leaving me stunned. It looked just like the light whips that had killed Nia, Jon, and me back at the start of all this. What the shit was that? I asked Sori when he flew over to land on my shoulder. "That was what we call a success! Good job, pup. Now, don''t let the glamour go; it''s fading." I could feel what he meant. The blue tendril had only been visible briefly, but I could still feel the connection with Sori. On his end, he should feel like I was a friendly pet. If I wanted it to last, I had to hold that association in my mind. I kept it in place for a few seconds to be sure I could, then I let it fade. No, for real. What was that light? That didn''t happen in the ether. "Of course not. That dump was basically your dream; we were already connected." But your illusions didn''t do that either. "Well, duh, I use the ghost powers god gave me. Ghosts are invisible." This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. I''ve seen tendrils like that before. They killed me and my friends. "Um, Sam. Illusions can''t kill you. That''s why they''re called illusions and not practical effects." We went through each illusion, but my unease didn''t fade. Each time I triggered the glamour, a blue whip of light snaked between Sori and me. He claimed I was the only one who could see it, but that didn''t make me feel better. How were these illusions related to those squiggles of light from the day this all started? I''d stopped trying to figure out what the apocalypse was because I had more immediate concerns. Now, those questions were returning. What had ended the world, and why was I getting special treatment? What was Sori? We left the break room and headed back toward the lobby where we''d left Nia''s group. Sori warned me that I''d only be able to hold a glamour on one person at a time, but I wasn''t sure anymore that I wanted to use one at all. Sori insisted that it wasn''t any different than the emotional manipulation people regularly use on each other. Still, despite knowing I had good reasons not to trust him, I found myself doing so anyway. People would be able to reason past my glamour. Their common sense would tell them I wasn''t a family pet, but their heart would tell them I was. In the same way, I knew Sori was part of the apocalypse and probably not someone to trust. He just seemed so familiar, so friendly. People ignore good sense to follow their hearts all the time. I couldn''t decide if that made emotional glamour more or less acceptable. Then again, while Sori was certainly manipulating my emotions, he''d only ever been helpful. In the end, I trusted him because I wanted to, for better or worse. As a compromise, I decided I wouldn''t use glamour or Nia. I was having trouble seeing past the emotional glamour. Children aren''t exactly known for making rational choices when their emotions get involved, which made it feel more like mind control. That left Anderson and Denis as possible targets. Anderson seemed to already view me positively; Denis, on the other hand, was clearly nervous about my appearance. He was already jumping to conclusions about me based on misplaced emotions; I''d only be trying to lay the groundwork for a positive interaction for us both. It''d be a lot easier to convince myself that I wasn''t doing anything wrong if the memory of light whips and sizzling flesh didn''t keep playing on repeat in my head. Sori''s crow was fine. Denis would be fine. It wasn''t mind control; it was just a little social engineering. Opening the door, I saw the group still sitting around. Only Maebe sat unaffected by my entrance, her body and aura still empty to my senses. That had been done to her by someone using my shadow. Could I use that to figure out who had it? I turned and closed the door, running a thumb across the smiley face I''d scratched in the door earlier. Taking a breath, I turned and walked toward the group, Sori-Crow perched on my shoulder. Two bodies lay on the floor in the center of the room. Nia was draped across one, crying. Anderson and Denis sat in chairs close by, their eyes also red. All three looked over as I walked in, and I saw rage building on Denis''s face as his eyes moved between me and the crow on my shoulder. I''d come in prepared to use a glamour on him. Seeing his growing anger, I had to change it. He''d been scared of me before, and I expected that to still be his primary emotion toward me. I wasn''t sure what an incongruous emotional glamour would feel like. Sori claimed it was similar to an intrusive thought, easily ignored as ridiculous. Instead of being afraid, Denis was furious. He saw Sori sitting on my shoulder and believed I was working with the crows. I needed him to feel like I was friendly. Being seen as a pet wasn''t dignified, but they already wondered if I was Nia''s dog, Oberon, come back from the dead. I wasn''t just a pet; I was here to help, to comfort. I might mess up, but I didn''t mean any harm. I let my tail droop, and my ears go limp. I looked at Denis from the corner of my eye like a dog expecting to be yelled at. I felt the emotion build up in me, and then, like a darting fish, a streamer of blue light connected Denis and me. The anger drained out of him in a deep sigh. "Stupid dog," he said in weak disappointment, burying his face in his hands and dismissing me. His already thin aura took on a distinct blue halo around his head. Sori insisted it was nothing more than any charismatic person could do with a few words, but it made me uneasy. Tell them I''m sorry I couldn''t save Alice and Jessica. Sori introduced himself. "I am Sori," he said. "And-" "Sorry! My sister is dead!" Nia yelled, glaring at the bird on my shoulder. Her eyes flicked to me, looking confused and hurt. I winced. This isn''t going to be easy. "I know, Nia. Oberon tried. I''m barely real, and I tried. I''m Sorry we were too late," Sori said, his voice almost startlingly gentle compared to the brash oddball I''d gotten used to. "What is happening?" Anderson asked, not looking at the talking bird on my monstrous shoulder. "The last couple of hours have been more than I can believe. How can any of this be real?" "My name is Sori. Oberon basically stole this bird so I could explain the best that I can. You need to understand that it''s been more than hours. The day has looped more than seventy times." Goddammit, Sori, tell them my real name. Is that really what''s important right now? Sori''s voice asked in my head. Wait, you can talk in my head? Oh my God, I just realized we weren''t speaking out loud. Weird. Anyway, none of them know Sam. They don''t, but Jon does, and he doesn''t even know I''m alive. Baby steps. It was probably a mistake to put as much trust in Sori as I was, but, as was more and more often the case, my options were limited. "Why did my sister have to die? Why didn''t Oberon save her? I thought he was on our side. Why did he join you?" Nia was angry, and I could understand why. I''d underestimated how this group would respond to a talking crow. They didn''t even seem surprised. Like me, they''d probably seen the coordination and strange behavior of the crows and, after talking, had realized something odd was afoot. Maybe using the bird as my voice wasn''t the best idea, but he was my only choice. "I don''t know," Sori said. "But don''t be sad. The day will loop, and she''ll be back. That''s when the trouble starts." --=- --== 30 Useless --==Chapter 30: Useless.--== "Why did crows attack us, and why are you with Oberon?" Nia asked Sori. "I speak for Oberon," Sori said from my shoulder. "Why? What does he want?" Denis interjected. "To answer questions," Sori said. "To ask questions." "And the crows?" Anderson prodded. "The crows are a hive mind. They want to turn Jessica and Alice into more crows." "That''s insane," Denis said. "They''re dead." But Anderson was already nodding. "It''s the time loop, I bet. Somehow, it''s related." Sori told them that crows and monsters would keep attacking Alice and Jessica until they became monsters themselves, which wasn''t exactly my understanding. It seemed to me like there were two likely results. Crowseph''s murder could kill the trauma monsters and use the memory crystals to bring Jessica and Alice''s minds into Crowseph''s swarm. Alternatively, the trauma monsters could torment Jessica and Alice until they can take control and become like Crowseph. Or so the bird butler had claimed, and the specifics were well beyond me. "Oberon can save them. But he needs to find something he lost," Sori said. "It looks like a shadow, except it will let you walk inside." Tell them I can also help Maebe if I can find the shadow. You can? Sori asked, sounding surprised. I mean. Probably right? Crowseph said this has happened to someone before. He called them ''empty'' and claimed it was done by my shadow to remove the trauma. I don''t know if it''s the same with Maebe, but it would make sense. "We believe we can help Maebe, too, if we can find Oberon''s Shadow." "''Called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world¡ªhe was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him,''" a new voice said with that odd humming inflection people use when quoting scripture. A man walked into the room from the hall on the right. "Hello, Oberon," said a person I had no memory of. "Hello," Sori said for me. "My name is Sori. His real name is-." "I don''t care about your name, demon. The only name with any power is Jesus Christ." "Buck?" Anderson said. "I thought you''d made it out." "Hey," Buck said, flashing a smile and walking over to hug Anderson. He was decent-looking, with glossy brown hair, broad shoulders, and semi-fit. He gave off a Fraternity-bro vibe despite being roughly middle-aged. I blamed his tight polo shirt and khaki pants. He clapped a reassuring hand on Denis''s shoulder as he walked by and knelt down beside Nia. He looked sadly at the sheet-covered people and lowered his head. "I''m sorry for their suffering, but we can take solace knowing that they''re with the Lord." "But Alice will come back, right?" Nia asked. "The day will start over, and we can save her. That''s what Sori said. And we found this note card that says the day is looping, and I can almost remember it." "Sh, hush, child. Don''t listen to the lies of the devil. Trust in the peace of the Lord. They will return when the Lord opens the gates of heaven in the east and calls the rest of us home. Your sister will be with you then." As he comforted them, Buck didn''t let me out of his line of sight. His eyes moved between Sori and me, "From Revelations: ''And he cried mightily with a strong voice, saying, ''Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and is become the habitation of devils, and the hold of every foul spirit, and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird.'' Be gone from this place, demon. I rebuke you in the name of Jesus." His voice raised as he went on, and he reached behind his back to pull a gun and point it at me. In the name of Jesus, indeed. The others became suddenly alert and cried out various things. Nia told him to leave me alone. Anderson protested that I hadn''t done anything to warrant pointing a gun. Denis was quiet. "They''re tools of the devil. You''re a good girl, Nia, but that thing isn''t Scooby-Doo, and you aren''t Velma. It''s a demon that has lied so much that God stole its voice. Why else would he need the unnatural bird? Don''t trust it; it''s an ancient evil, older than man. It knows how to deceive." I managed to roll my eyes instinctively. Oh, surprise, surprise, someone using religion to justify violence and hate. I thought. Sori shortened it to. "you''re a clich¨¦," which sounded bitchier than I wanted, but it fit. I was still using an illusion on Denis, but this guy was more hostile than Denis was. "Satan, demon, devil spawn, unnatural miscreation. If you want to keep breathing, you''ll do it outside this hospital." Buck said. "Fuck off," Sori said for me. Being shot hurt, and I wasn''t thrilled at the idea of being shot again, but I didn''t think even this jerk would shoot while kneeling next to Nia. I started considering what Buck felt toward me, planning to switch my illusion''s target. He was open enough about his feelings that it shouldn''t be hard. Uh, Sam, you may want to avoid letting go of the illusion on Denis right now. Sometimes, there''s a backlash when your glamour gets challenged. You told Denis you were an innocent puppy, but Buck is reminding Denis of the fear and anger he felt before, Sori said in my mind. Your illusions kind of suck. It''s not mind control. You just have to learn to use it better. One-on-one, it works great. Yeah, I can tell. Would I be talking to you at all without your illusion influencing me? What illusion? I''m a bird. Birds can''t do illusions. If you still think of me as a friend, that''s all you. Well, and me. I mean, I am pretty cool. If I couldn''t use glamour to get Buck to relax, I''d need to change tactics. Even if he believed me when I told him I was looking for a shadow, there was no way he''d believe it wasn''t something evil. You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author. "We''re looking for a friend, a cop named Jon," Sori said. If no one knew where the shadow was¡ªor wouldn''t tell me¡ªI''d move on to my main goal of finding my friend. "Are you leaving?" Nia asked, sounding uncertain. "There''s none here for you, so go elsewhere," Buck said, never lowering his weapon. "Don''t worry, child. I was sent for you." "No one knows where Officer Jon is?" I asked again through Sori, looking at everyone but paying close attention to Nia. For Nia, it would have been only hours since Jon and I had given her a ride here. But that also meant hours since her dad had disappeared right before her eyes. I didn''t know how much she remembered, but I didn''t want to dredge it up more than I had to. I didn''t need Tickles to know it was traumatizing. After talking to Crowseph, though, I worried what would happen if that memory was allowed to torment her. "Fine. We''ll leave," Sori said. "For now," he added as I nodded at Nia. Then, turning to Buck, I had Sori say, "Bring her to her mom." Not because I expected him to do my bidding, but because I was guessing that was why he was here, and I was betting it would annoy him. "Demon. Stay out of my head." Buck said, adjusting his aim on me. "You know where my mom is?" Nia asked Buck. "She''s right where she''s meant to be, leading the faithful in prayer in the chapel. God told her you were up here and needed her. She sent me to get you, all of you. Not the demons, of course." The guy was an asshole and clearly overconfident about what was happening. That said, if they had people gathered in the chapel, it was probably safe as could be found. In any case, I''d done what I could for their group. If I wanted to do more, I needed to find my shadow. Sori suggested I check places where I knew I''d died. I needed allies who trusted me, a place to look for my shadow, and a place to look for Jon before I lost the use of Sori''s crow. It just so happened I knew where I could find all three. "Oberon promises to do what he can for your sister and Jessica," Sori said for me. "Fine, fine, fine. He also says his name is Sam, and if you find Jon, you should tell him that. If you find the shadow, you should write where on that note card with the crystal." It would be nice to see the Gremlins again. The world was mad, and I just needed it to not be my problem for a minute. Since I couldn''t make that happen with a wave of my hand, I''d at least try to enjoy what I could. The gremlins were fun, and even if Jon wasn''t waiting over there, they were cute and welcoming, and that alone would go a long way to lift my spirits. If Jon did show up shooting, I could use another of my force-field buttons to stay alive and have Sori tell him I was me. If nothing else, I could at least make sure I hadn''t left a shadow lying around over there. I doubted it, considering someone had to have used the shadow on Maebe¡ªunless she did it to herself somehow. Either way, it didn''t fit the behavior I''d seen from the gremlins. I shrugged Anderson''s golf bag off my shoulder and placed it on the ground in front of me. "You should arm yourselves," Sori said. "There''s monsters all over the place." Then I removed the baseball bat and walked backward out the lobby entrance, never turning my back on Buck. I didn''t trust him not to shoot me the moment I looked away. Walking across the parking lot, I made my way to the little makeshift hut. It looked more built up than the last time I''d seen it. It was later in the day, so I supposed that made sense. Did they spend the whole day making a house, only to have to start over each loop? "Oberon!" a basso voice cried, and my mouth opened in a rare natural doggy grin rather than the one I put on. Two little gremlin things came galumphing out of the hut, skip-galloping on two legs like the weird little creatures they were chirping excitedly to each other. "You make more shapes?" one of the mottled creatures said in a rich, deep-throated voice. "You bring scary man? His stick too loud!" the other Gremlin rumbled. "Why you have stupid bird?" "Stupid crow birds take pretty rock." "I''m a smart crow-bird. I left other birds, and now I speak for Oberon." Sori said. "Bird is Oberon''s voice?" One of the Gremlins said. I still couldn''t tell them apart. "Talking bird for Oberon!" the other Gremlin cheered, and they danced excitedly for a moment before abruptly stopping a horrified look on its rodent face. "Bird draw pictures for Oberon?" One of them rumbled with a tilt of its head. In answer, I took a golf club out and used the handle to draw in the dust in front of their home. I drew a square in the dirt to act as a canvas. "What should he draw?" Sori asked for me. "A square!" one of them squeaked. I looked between the eager gremlins and the square I''d just drawn. "Tada!" Sori said, pointing a wing at the dirt. The two gremlins jumped and cheered, and I was glad I''d come out here. I kept an eye out over my shoulder, half expecting to see Jon lining up a shot, but even if he didn''t show up, I needed this break. For now, the parking lot was empty, and I could enjoy the simple fun. It reminded me of playing with kittens or puppies too young and innocent to be skittish, just purely curious about everything and always looking for ways to play. I wondered what they were¡ªwhere they came from. I almost didn''t want to ask; I just wanted to appreciate the moment of peace. Well, I could at least be polite. "Do you have names?" "Husband," one of the pear-shaped and vaguely humanoid creatures said. "Wife," the other Gremlin said. I remembered Husband had said that before, but I hadn''t realized he was saying their names. "What bird Name?" "Bird is Sori" "Why? What bird do?" It suddenly occurred to me that if they did have something to do with the apocalypse¡ªnot that I could really believe it of them¡ªthen they might know something about Sori and vice versa. Sori, what are these guys? Husband and Wife? Traditional? Adorable? What are you looking for here, Sam? I mean, where did they come from? When a mommy Gremlin and a daddy Gremlin love each other- Okay. I mean, are they like Crowseph, a result of the apocalypse, or like you, part of the cause. Aw, come on, look at those guys. They don''t exactly look like world-enders, Sam. You don''t know, do you? I do not. Useless. --== 31 Puppets Exist ---=Chapter 31: Puppets Exist---= I was doodling in the dust, and the gremlins watched the dirt intently to see what shape I''d draw next. I drew a simple picture of a house with a sun peeking from behind a cloud. "Know what that is?" I asked through my Sori-crow vocalizer. "A house!" The gremlins cheered with their rumbling voices, pointing back at their hut. I pointed at the sun. "What about this?" I was trying to figure out if they knew what the sun was. With the haze, they wouldn''t have seen it if they''d only existed since the apocalypse began. They looked close at the dirt and then looked up at the sky and the horizon. In their higher, chittering voices, they whispered back and forth in each other''s ears, human-like fingers hiding their mouths. "It circle!" they cheered together, dancing at their unquestionable success. Okay, we''ll call that inconclusive. They were at least looking in the right place for it. Then again, they''d unlikely learned English in ten weeks, so their knowledge might come secondhand. They were unlike both Crowseph and trauma monsters like Slender Hopper. That didn''t mean they didn''t start out as someone''s traumatic memories. I decided to just ask them. "Have you seen the sun?" Sori asked at my prodding. They both immediately looked sad. "No sons for husband and wife. No daughters. We try, we try." They patted each other on the back comfortingly. It was simultaneously adorable and heartbreaking, and I felt guilty for bringing them down. I drew a flower in the dirt to make it up to them. Husband bent over and tried to smell it, making me smile. He sneezed loudly, sending up a large puff of dust, and Wife fell to the ground and began to roll around laughing. The sneeze was powerful and matched their basso voice, if not their stature or chittering communication. It reminded me that I''d seen Husband grow tall enough it could peek through a second-story window. They were a pair of mysteries, and I wished I didn''t have more urgent matters begging my attention. I resolved to unravel the mystery of the Gremlins after I sorted out my Shadow, Crowseph''s bullshit, and Jon''s ignorance about me. Oh, and Maebe''s catatonia. I probably needed to resolve things with Hands, too. My enemies¡ªwhich was a weird thing to have¡ªviewed the Shadow as a genuine threat, so just getting ahold of it would go a long way. Hopefully. Then again, someone had presumably already used it against me, considering my missing memories, so the Shadow certainly wouldn''t solve all my problems. I had other questions. "Do you have any crystals?" I asked the innocent-seeming creatures and immediately felt gross. I wasn''t looking for a handout¡ªalthough I would take them if they let me¡ªbut I also had questions. They had rounded and polished the memory crystals, and I wanted to know if there was a reason. "You left crystals before. Want again?" Wife asked from where she still lay in the dust, her head cocked awkwardly to look where I crouched. "Yes, please." "Silly Oberon," Husband said, shaking his head and entering the make-shift hut. He came back out holding two memory crystals. They were bigger but less polished than the three they gave me before. "Why do you polish them?" Sori asked for me. "Jagged rocks are too sharp. They poke." Wife said. "Smooth is better." Husband agreed. I reached into my pack and pulled out the memory crystal from Slender Hopper to compare. My memory crystal was bigger than the ones Husband had just handed me¡ªbigger than them combined, even. Had they just ground that much away, or had they always been smaller? I looked up to see the gremlins eyeing my crystal with greed or hunger or something. Husband was drooling anyway. "Where you get big boy?" Husband asked, never tearing his eyes away from the crystal. "From Slender Hopper in the lobby," Sori said without checking in. I doubted that would mean anything to them, but both nodded before Wife asked. "You bring baby Hopper next time?" Umm, what? I asked myself¡ªand Sori since he was also in my head. I offered them the crystal, thinking it was what they were after. It was a slight risk¡ªsince destroying it would return my spawn point to the car¡ªbut I wasn''t especially worried about that from them. Husband picked up the larger unpolished crystal and one of the smaller crystals he''d just given me. He pressed them together a few times and shook his head before putting them both back in my paw-hand. "Bring back tomorrow, not dead." I did know where there was a living monster bug. The patrol car wasn''t that far. "There''s a live bug-thing nearby," Sori said. "Want to see?" "Baby bug! Yay!" Wife said and twirled until she fell over dizzy. The little Gremlins huddled together and chirped in their odd language before running over and climbing me like scaffolding to settle on my shoulders. Sori was dislodged with a squawk and circled around me to land on my head. Standing up carefully, trying not to dislodge any of the zoo, I turned and headed toward the patrol car. I look ridiculous. This would be a terrible time for Jon to appear; I wouldn''t be dodging behind any cars while trying to keep these guys settled. Then again, I still had the two shield buttons somehow taken from the ether. It was a neat trick that Sori had never really explained. When everything is impossible, there''s only so much time for questions. At some point, all I could do was my best, ignorance be damned. I put my hand on the necklace of buttons Sori gave me. Walking to the patrol car, I pondered the memory crystals and ''demons.'' If demons were spawned somehow from trauma, it was surprising there weren''t more running around. Based on my own experiences, there was plenty of trauma to go around. For that matter, if I ever managed to take a nap again, I was sure I''d have nightmares. Despite that, I hadn''t seen any new monsters running around¡ªspawned from my many traumas. You''re your own demon. Haven''t I been telling you? People are green, you aren''t people. A person, sure, but not human. Why am I telling you this? You''ve seen yourself, right? Sori said in my head. Tickles hadn''t been in the patrol car when I woke up after dying the first time. I could absolutely see that creature being spawned from Nia''s trauma of the crash, the loss of her dad, and the end of the world, all within a few seconds. It was pale, but the tick-looking creature had legs like fingers and mandibles like two broken thumbs bent toward each other. The visceral memory of Nia dropping Titus''s severed arm flashed through my mind. Tickles certainly fit the bill of a monster that might spawn from the trauma she''d gone through. We got to the patrol car, and the gremlin''s excitement visibly fell. The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. "Oh. It''s so puny." Husband said dejectedly. "And so stupid," Wife added. "Kill it." "Eat it." Husband agreed. "Tell to Nia." Wife said, surprising me. They knew about Nia? The gremlins hopped off my shoulder and onto the car and began making faces at the pale tick-shaped monster, which, as far as I could tell, had no eyes. "You don''t want it?" I asked "Too puny. Too stupid. Nobody feed ever. Nia eat, grow big and strong." "You know Nia?" I asked. "Good drawer," Wife said "Good drawer," Husband agreed. Well, I guess that was that. Crowseph had described Nia as I''d seen her before dying the second time. He''d called her Titania and claimed she was half-trauma. Considering Tickles had been absent in that loop, and Nia had a distinctly inhuman appearance, what with horns and wings and all, it seemed a safe bet that ''Titania'' and Tickles were related. Or at least, my mind, drowning in uncertainty, was willing to treat it as fact. Sori, what do you know about ''Titania'' and the trauma monsters? Crowseph made it sound like trauma monsters can take over the person they spawned from. Is that what happened to Nia? Why do you ask questions you already know the answers to? Sori thought at me, clearly trying to sound wise. Sori, this whole world is a brand new mystery. I don''t know a damned thing¡ªexcept that you''re related to it. Oh, I see, I see. So you''ve come to beg from someone more omniscient. I don''t think you can be ''more'' omniscient. The trouble with asking a question of someone who knows everything is that everything is related and important. In other words, to answer your question, I would either need infinite time or a way to trade infinities. You are so full of shit. I said, rolling my eyes and chuffing out a sigh, true to form. I wasn''t sure why I was asking Sori anyway. His answers were far from trustworthy. Even if he wasn''t lying or manipulating me¡ªwhich he almost certainly was¡ªhis grip on and understanding of reality was fractured at best. It was his most redeeming quality¡ªassuming it wasn''t an affectation. I gave the gremlins a few minutes to tease Tickles by making faces and pressing their butts and faces against the glass of the rear window. Their antics improved my mood, even if Sori was being unhelpful. I''d kept my eyes open for any sign of a shadow that wasn''t a shadow. It turns out, between the overcast skies and the haze, shadows weren''t very common outside. Everything was almost evenly lit by the soft green glow from the clouds, haze, and vortex. It wasn''t precisely gloomy. It was more¡ªatmospheric. All of this meant that¡ªdespite not really knowing what I was looking for¡ªI was pretty sure I hadn''t overlooked my Shadow. I wasn''t really expecting to find it lying around somewhere. Maebe''s catatonia was probably caused by her mind getting trapped inside the Shadow somehow. According to Sori, there were only a few ways for that to happen. Mainly, it required physically entering the Shadow and being kept there, which suggested that Maebe was made catatonic by someone. The only lead I had on my missing memories also pointed to someone using the Shadow on me. I probably wouldn''t find it in a random alcove or in the shade under a car. The only reason I had to believe it was anywhere near the hospital was that Maebe was affected by it; otherwise, I''d had 70 days to lose it anywhere in Forest Lake. While that was still possible, Maebe''s state significantly reduced the likelihood. That wasn''t necessarily better. Between Hands, Jon, Crowseph, and Buck, half the people in the hospital would probably attack on sight. It was interesting that Hands considered killing me pragmatically convenient; meanwhile, Crowseph had hesitated to kill me while I was unconscious. Of course, that had changed. Now, Crowseph was just as likely to be murderous as the rest. Sori also wouldn''t be riding around on my shoulder next loop, so I wanted to play it somewhat safe. I didn''t know if the shield buttons would respawn with me. Maybe if I reset my spawn point, they would. I wondered if I could use Slender Hoppers crystal again¡ªto set my spawn point¡ªor if it was a one-and-done situation. Sam? Sori asked as I was lost in thought. Hmm? I replied distractedly. What kind of puppets exist in your world? What? A lot. I''m sure there are more kinds than I even know about. Oh good. Maybe that explains it. Explains what? Before he could answer, I heard gravel scraping against the blacktop behind me. Startled, I whirled to see who or what snuck up behind me while I naval gazed and watched the Gremlins'' antics. Behind me was a man wearing a khaki uniform I recognized from the City''s aquarium. He held a gun in his hand, still pointed at the ground. Based on his blank expression, I wasn''t sure which of us was more surprised. Unprepared for a confrontation, my mind was scattered. I scrambled to devise a glamour, give Sori instructions, and grab one of my shield buttons all at once. "Uh-Oh," Sori said before I could think anything coherent. I''d stupidly let myself absentmindedly naval gaze when I knew there were dangers around. Bullets slammed into me as my fingers found one of the buttons and pressed. My head spun, and my vision fuzzed. I felt myself impact with the ground before sensation faded. Shit, here we go again. --- --= -=- -== =-- =-= ==- === --- "Hey! I did it!" Sori''s voice said. It sounded different, like it had when I first met him, and it was coming from a floating silver eye. I realized my eyes were closed and opened them. I was back on the stone ship with the beach, the small house, and the plasma oceans, back in the ether. "Dammit," I said. "What''s that guy''s problem." "What guy?" Sori said. "The fucking guy that shot me." Sori just laughed. "That''s not what happened." "What do you mean that''s not what happened? I watched it happen." "But that wasn''t a guy that shot you." "His shirt literally had the name ''Guy'' stitched into it." Although it was possibly not his shirt¡ªor that the shirt was a reference to something¡ªbut I wasn''t about to make Sori''s argument for him. "I mean, that wasn''t a person." Sori corrected. "It was a puppet. We were just talking about this." It was a good thing I''d decided not to make his arguments for him since he''d officially lost me. "Didn''t you notice?" Sori asked." "Apparently not," I said. "Aquarium Guy didn''t have an aura." ---= 32 If The Shadow Fits --=-Chapter 32: If The Shadow Fits--=- I hadn''t noticed until Sori pointed it out, but he was right. Aquarium Guy hadn''t been glowing green. Most people barely had much of an aura as it was. Hands hadn''t had one at all¡ªthough, human-Hands had apparently been an illusion. However, Maebe''s glow was missing, and Guy''s was the same. Maybe his face hadn''t been blank in shock; it had just been blank. "What does it mean?" I asked. "It means pirates are stealing our jewels, or master burglars are pulling one last score before retiring to live out the end of the world." "Nope. Ignoring that. How about, why am I back here?" I asked the floating eye. I was lying in a wooden deck chair at the front of the stone ship. Slabs of sandstone stuck up from the prow, creating a low wall that could be looked over to view the roiling expanse of plasma ocean. The sandy front of the ship was separated from the green lawn that made up most of the deck by a rustic wooden fence. My chair was near the fence and looked out over the beach. There was a dry and gnarled-looking tree and a couple beach-ball-sized boulders scattered across the sand. Leaning up against the tree was a full-sized bonsai rake. I was looking at a life-sized zen garden, or something similar, nestled at the front of a stone ship, floating along on a plasma ocean with nothing else but a silently raging storm in sight. It was simultaneously bizarre and familiar. "Well, just before you died, I sequestered you again, which was basically impossible. Then, as I expected, you brought us here!" "Ok, but why?" "What do you mean why? You were about to die. Didn''t you notice?" "And then the day would loop, and I''d be back," I said, confused. The Zen Garden looked inviting, so I stood from my inclined deck chair and walked over to the rake. "Still. Well, whatever, go back if you want. I just thought you might want to hang out here for a bit rather than die again. Sue me for caring." Sori said, floating off as though turning his back to me and overacting his dejection. "Alright-alright-alright, calm down. Tell me about the guy with the non-aura, then." I said, setting the rake head against the tree and slowly dragging it to form four parallel divots in the sand. "He''s a car without a driver at this point. I told you; someone broke the trash collectors, and this is what happens." "Most of what you say is nonsense. Also, you tried to pin that on me." "Well, if the shadow fits." "And I guess you still are." I dragged the rake around the gnarled tree twice before circling one of the boulders in the opposite direction, slowly starting to expand outward. "You heard that swarm of crows." "flock of crows." "No, Sam, that was a swarm. Semantics is more important than taxonomy here." "What?" "They didn''t flock to your friends; they swarmed them. And that swarm said your missing Shadow is related to the trash collectors." "Didn''t we already know that?" I asked. "I was just wildly speculating before. Now we have eye witness testimony and expert analysis." "And how is that related-" "I''m the expert." "Of course. And that''s related to the Guy-" "I was also the eye witness. You''re a little slow, but did you get it? Because I''m an eye?" Sori asked, sounding skeptical that I had. I ignored him some more, letting the garden features guide me between straight lines and curving arcs as I thought. "So, there''s a shadow that''s not a shadow, and it can erase memories and turn people like Aquarium Guy into a mindless drone?" "You sound skeptical," Sori said, watching me work. "If the Shadow wipes memories and holds minds. Add strings to what''s left, and you have a puppet." "Let''s just say I don''t find the eye-witness-testimony credible." "I told you, I''m the eye-witness- oh." "Ok, I''ll humor you. Who''s the culprit? So far, Crowseph seems unlikely since he didn''t kill me when I was unconscious, believing I still had the Shadow he feared." This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. "Right, but Hands did shoot you. Well, he had you shot. I don''t think the dolphin has a waterproof gun. That was the first time I caught a glimpse of you." "Let''s assume for a second that Hands has somehow stolen my Shadow that''s not a shadow. How would he make drones? How would he control them? For that matter, how does it work to take memories at all?" That wasn''t really what I wanted to ask, but more information was better. Stress was beginning to build in my tightening chest. I focused on trying to learn and understand while distracting myself just enough with the soft hush of raking sand. "Some things, by their very nature, can only exist once without changing that nature. One King is a monarch, two kings is a war, and twenty is a parliament. Minds are the same. So if someone found a way to trap a mind outside their body, say in a crystal inside an extra-dimensional shadow, that mind wouldn''t be created again. The body would be empty and idle, waiting for input from the absent mind, making it perfect for a little grand theft corpus if you know the trick." "Do you know the trick?" I asked, dragging the rake around the perimeter of the design I''d made so far. "...Magic?" "How about a new topic. If this thing was mine, how did I lose it?" "Probably the same way you lost your memories. In fact, if I had to guess¡ª which I do because I don''t know¡ªI''d guess that your memories are still inside the Shadow. If you got it back, I think you''d remember everything you''ve forgotten before now." "I get, I need to find my Shadow. I''ve got enough motivation; you can ease off on the manipulation." "I''m not trying to hide my motives. How am I supposed to schedule trash pickups if everyone is on strike?" "I''m not in a union." "I don''t expect much from your strike then." "Well, I guess it''s about time I restart the day-" "Wait, no, stay. I''m just joking. Anyway, I wanted to see if I could sequester you just before you died, and then you could bring us here and use this place to prepare for the next loop." I stopped dragging the rake to give Sori a baleful look. "Prepare how? What am I supposed to do? In case you haven''t noticed, these guys have guns, or they''re actual monsters who can thrash me into pulp. I''ve died six times. Most of them were terrifying and painful. I keep rolling with the punches, and it only leads to more people punching and more people expecting me to take punches for them. All I wanted was to find my friend and hole up as best as possible. I''m a seven-foot-tall monster, but all that means is that I''m on my own. I can''t even speak. People at least listened when I used that crow, even if the words weren''t always mine. I''m alone out there, Sori, and I''m tired of dying. It hurts. It''s scary. And I don''t know what to do." Sori was quiet for several long seconds as I returned to scratching patterns in the sand to hide the tears threatening to fall. "If you look inside that cabin, you''ll find a desk and office supplies. I snooped last time I was here after I kicked you out. That''s how I ended up taking that bird. Too bad about that. It was nice seeing everything from the front row. Without that crow, I won''t be able to tell what''s going on nearly as easily." "Yeah, it would have been nice if you could have told Jon what happened to me." "I never got why you were so hung up on that plan if I''m honest. It''s not like Jon would remember for more than a couple hours anyway." "Still, it would have made me feel better to tell him and get some encouragement. The last few days haven''t exactly been a vacation for me. You understand that for most of my life, I''d not even been near a gun, let alone been shot? Now, I''ve been killed by three guns, shot in the arm by a fourth , and threatened by a fifth. And that''s not even the unbelievable part. Sharing this with my friend would make it easier to hold up." "Oh, I see, but you''re saying it to me, so that must mean I''m your best friend now! Well, I hope you feel better now that you''ve unloaded all that on me. Good job!" Sori said, sounding more proud of himself than concerned about me. "Sure Sori. Thanks." I said, my heart still heavy. He was right that it would be worse without him. If nothing else, he''d brought me somewhere peaceful. The sky and sea raged, but the stone ship barely rocked. The storm was little more than white noise, soothing me as I raked swirls in the sand and worked through my worries. "Anyway," Sori said, "I thought if I brought you here, you could prepare for the next loop. Alice had that note on the note card. You could do something similar. If you wanted." The floating eye sounded uncharacteristically uncertain, maybe picking up on my mood. "Then you could send it with me, like the buttons?" I asked. It was a good idea, and I tried to sound like I was into it. I''d finished raking furrow in the sand and leaned the rake up against the wooden fence as I stepped through the gate onto the lawn. "Alright. Let''s go see what I can find in the cabin. How big can I make this thing? Alice had a note card of information on it. Do I need to worry about making it that small so it lasts across loops? I''m assuming that''s the plan." "I thought you might ask something like that. If you make it here, you can make it reappear here at will. So I would just need to be able to sequester you so you could spawn another one. Unfortunately, that will be hard now that I''m not riding around on your shoulder. I got pretty lucky catching you that first time." "Ok¡­ Where does that leave us?" "Well, you have the right idea, planning to use a memory crystal to keep it intact through loops. You''d be able to store things in the shadow, too. If you had it." Sor said, apparently unable to help himself. "Yeah, yeah, so, without the Shadow, how big can this be?" "Not very, maybe a handful of pages front and back if you use a full-sized memory crystal, not the shards that Alice uses." "That should be enough. I could write a detailed explanation even with a handful of pages." "Oh, uh. You probably won''t actually be able to write coherently." "Why? I mean, I can''t write back in the real world for whatever reason¡ªI''m assuming it''s related to my other communication problems¡ªbut here, that doesn''t seem to be a problem." "Yeah, I''m helping you out with that. You are fairly exhausting to translate, I have to say. If I couldn''t read your thoughts, it would be impossible. I can''t write for you, though. I don''t have hands. I can probably help you shape the letters; just don''t expect us to write an entire form letter or something. I am not that patient." The cabin was a one-room space, which was pretty well-filled. On one wall was a bulletin board with handwritten notes I couldn''t read; the words looked like chicken scratch. Next to it was a metal filing cabinet that was locked closed. In the corner was a familiar lounge chair that looked awfully similar to my Grandma''s, though it had been years since I''d seen it. Most of the opposite wall was occupied by a desk containing some of my most used art supplies. Whatever Sori thought, this place was connected to me. If I hadn''t made it, I''d at least been consulted. Now, I just needed to figure out why. Here, I had a voice and a body I could relate to. There had to be a way to take that back to the waking world with me. I was already planning to find the shadow, but the more time I spent in this place, the more of a priority it became. Sori would be thrilled. In the end, I did what I knew and drew a series of comics. I kept the art simple, only using color to add highlights. Most of it was simple line art. Frustratingly, it wasn''t just words and letters that were beyond me. Most symbols and emoticons were just as indecipherable. I became a toddler proudly pointing at squiggles and declaring it a horse. It made me wonder if the smiley I''d scratched in the door had actually looked right or if it was just my confused brain seeing what I expected. Because I couldn''t do letters, icons, or symbols, but more complex art was unhindered, my simple line art comic was dotted with odd spots of detail to add context to otherwise emotionless art. Then, with the help of Sori, I managed a few keywords to make sure it made sense. The lettering was as painstakingly slow as Sori had warned and was completely inconsistent. I would tell Sori what I wanted to say, and he would tell me what to draw. I drew the letters upside down to trick my brain into drawing what I was told and not what I expected. It mostly turned out ok; some characters were swapped or flipped, but I guess even God''s virtual assistant can be dyslexic. --=- --== 33 An Apocalyptic Hello --== Chapter 33: An Apocalyptic Hello--== Spawning left me disorientated. Instead of waking in the patrol car, I was in the lobby bathroom, sitting on the chair I''d brought in. My backpack weighed on my shoulders, and the bat lay across my lap, along with the comic I''d drawn with Sori. I''d almost forgotten I''d set things up to test. Looking around, there were a few chips crumbs tangled in my fur. However, the ones I''d scattered around the chair were gone. The spawn points didn''t seem to have an area effect after all. Likewise, the Sudoku book was neither on the sink nor in my backpack. I''d added a roll of toilet paper to my bag that was still in there, though. It suggested that linked things remain linked. I was on the chair, my backpack was on me, my stuff was in my bag, so we all respawned together. I guessed the book and missing chips were on the floor of the patrol car, but I wouldn''t be sure unless I checked later. Setting my spawn point had also allowed me to keep my eye mask and pants; that alone was an improvement, as was having a weapon before entering the lobby. Exiting the bathroom, I confirmed that Maebe''s spawn hadn''t been reset and assumed the same was true for Nia. The gremlins wanted me to bring them Slender Hopper alive, but I wasn''t sure how to do that. Even if I had a cage or box or something, it wasn''t so long ago that it had killed me. I wasn''t sure I had the nerve to calmly capture it rather than freak out on it, which was more or less my strategy so far. If I could get the slender hopper in a closet or something, I could leave it locked inside until I could bring Husband and Wife in to take care of it. They consistently had more memory crystals than me, and Husband, at least, could become huge, on the scale of a giant sloth. They could probably handle one trapped monster. If I wanted to trick Slender Hopper into jumping into a closet, I''d have to let it jump at me from very close. It would be pure luck to just get it on the wall across from a doorway. Dodging so the bug ended up in the closet¡ªinstead of on my face¡ªwould be a trick and a half. After some consideration, I couldn''t come up with a better idea. However, I did have a worse one. I approached Slender Hopper, backpack ready, blanket draped on my shoulder, and waited for it to crouch. I could use the bat instead of my bag, but the goal was to knock it from the air, not kill it. It crouched, and I spun. My bag collided with it and knocked it to the floor. Running, I whipped the blanket from my shoulder and spread it open. Before Slender Hopper could regain its feet, I threw the blanket over it and picked it up, trying to keep its bladed limbs wrapped and facing away from me. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, I panicked internally as I hurried down the hall toward a closet I''d opened in preparation. I chucked it in, blanket and all, and slammed the door. I was pretty sure the thing had gotten bigger. Hopefully, it couldn''t match Husband''s two-ton mass, or it would soon crash through that door. Trapping it had only taken a few minutes. I didn''t know if or when Alice and friends would be attacked by their trauma monsters, but it was best not to dawdle. I didn''t know where the new monsters would spawn. If I assumed Nia''s trauma caused Tickles, their spawn points wouldn''t be random. Then again, the nearest person to Slender Hopper was Maebe, and there was no sign she''d experienced anything traumatic¡­ unless you count the apocalypse, I guess. Best case scenario, Alice and Jessica would respawn in surgery, and their trauma monsters would spawn in the ER. I moved hurriedly, if cautiously, down the hall, keeping an ear out for commotion and bird wings. I''d collected the golf bag and wore it on one shoulder with the backpack slung over the other. I also put on the Tam because why not? Walking toward the elevator, I decided to pull out the comic Sori had helped me make. I''d colored some highlights here and there as I''d considered what I was trying to convey, but it was still mostly black and white. I''d title the comic "Friendship is Magic." I was going for maximum harmlessness but only managed maximum cringe. Still. Who would run screaming from a golfing blue werewolf holding a hand-drawn comic? Probably most people. An emotional glamour could help with that. I was approaching several people, and I''d only be able to affect one. Alice was my planned target. I''d focused on Denis before so his fear wouldn''t spread, but Alice seemed to be their nominal leader. If I got her on the same page, she could get the others on board with my plan. I wasn''t sure where I''d find them, but the waiting room seemed like a safe bet as a starting place. To be safe, I peeked through the surgery room doors as I went but didn''t see anyone. The waiting room door had a diamond-shaped window about the size of a plate. I heard voices coming from inside, but I wanted to see who and how many were inside. It was a familiar mistake. Pressing my face against the glass, I heard a high-pitched scream I assumed came from Denis. In his defense, it was basically the same thing I''d done to Nia. I''d gone full movie monster. Again. Ah well. Alice''s whole group seemed to be in there, including Maebe, Nia, and an unmoving surgery patient. After seeing him, I hoped he was dead. I bent over and slid the comic under the door before walking back down the hall to the elevators. I was pretty well out in the open over here. I was next to a four-way intersection with 3 elevators right in front of me. Trouble could come from any direction, but I also had multiple escape routes, so maybe it balanced out. I hadn''t planned to wait this far away, but I''d just seen something I hadn''t expected. The last time I''d seen the surgery patient, I''d missed something important. This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. He didn''t have an aura. Putting my back to a wall, I lowered myself into a crouch, trying to think. Could Alice and her team be the ones making drones? What would the benefit of doing that be? In the comic, I included information about the drones. Drawing them as puppets whose strings could be cut. I didn''t want to jump to conclusions, partly because I was out of my depth and partly because I wasn''t confident about most of what I ''knew.'' I''d just have to wait and see if they brought up the drone in the room themselves. In the meantime, I''d have to keep an eye open for crows or crow-inspired monsters. At least I wasn''t too late. Finally, after maybe half an hour, the waiting room door opened, and Alice came out alone, holding the comic book "Oberon? Or, do you prefer Sam?" I couldn''t answer, and if she read the comic, she should know that. It was about time to use a glamour. "I''m going to go with Sam," Alice said after a moment before walking down the hall toward me. Her steps weren''t halting; they were just slow, like a mid-western goodbye but in reverse. An apocalyptic hello, I joked at Sori before remembering he wasn''t around anymore. It was disappointing. I didn''t trust him, but sometimes camaraderie doesn''t require much trust. "Sorry, it''s just strange. We just killed a monster, and my sister appeared out of nowhere, and then you and this comic and the vortex wall. I''m just looking for something to hold on to¡ªfor some solid footing," Alice said, her thick curls acting as a cushion as she knocked her head against the wall in distress. Empathizing with her was easy. Using a glamour to match her expectations¡ªto be what she needed¡ªwould also be easy. It was another thing I''d worked on with Sori. Only then did I realize there would be costs to using glamours. "I look at you, and I just know that your name is Oberon. I''ve had a few other things like that, too. Some of what''s in this book, even the impossible things like the time loop. I knew about them already; I just needed to be reminded. For a minute, I was hopeful that I could get a grip on things. Except, I almost immediately learned that I was wrong about your name, shattering that hope." She needed me to be Oberon. She needed me to have answers. She wanted her Hagrid moment. She might not be a wizard, but she at least had some memories. She also had the respect of her small team, and she needed help. Alice slowly approached until she was across the hall from me, then slid down the wall to join me on the floor. I looked at the comic in her hand. I wasn''t the guy with all the answers, but I could pretend. I wanted Alice to trust me, to look to me for those answers. I held out my hand and leaned forward, reaching for the comic. I moved slowly so as not to startle her. After a moment, she realized I wanted the comic. I saw uncertain struggle play across her face. The moment she decided to trust me, a blue tendril of light snaked between us, connecting our minds. The glamour held, and she extended the comic to me. The comic started with my transformation and Nia''s danger. It showed the things I''d encountered. I''d left out the gremlins. The book was primarily meant to warn people about the new threats. Still, I''d include uses for the memory crystals, so drawing attention to the gremlins could only end badly. I found the page that detailed using memory crystals to write things down for future loops. She nodded. "If this is real, it could help, but if I could record long books like this, why haven''t I?" I hadn''t found her note card in the break room. Apparently, she hadn''t found it either. Hopefully, it was still around, or we risked losing track of the days. Still, that wasn''t why I was here. I flipped to the panels illustrating Alice and Jessica getting attacked by crows, then their own crow-related demons, and finally, joining the crows. Alice winced. "Yeah, I guess maybe I''ve been busy." That was true, but not my point. I kept pointing to the page. With Sori''s help, I''d titled the first panel, "Yesterday." It depicted the crow attack. The next picture had attacking trauma monsters and was labeled "Today." The final panel, in which Jessica and Alice became crows, I labeled "Tomorrow." I scratched at the word "Today" with a claw, trying to draw her attention to it. "Today," she said, looking at the picture. "Is it another fight with the crows? Another attack of some kind?" She looked at me for some kind of confirmation, but I could only look between her and the comic. "Ok, so then, tomorrow, it''s like we are the crows. Is that what happened to you? Shit, sorry, I keep asking questions when I know you can''t talk. Please be patient with me and do your best, ok? I''ll figure this out. I''m gathering that we''re in danger and need to prepare for other monsters to attack." I flipped to another set of panels. This set had taken a lot of time. There was no easy way to convey "this metaphorical shadow can turn people into mindless drones." in just a few pictures. So I''d drawn a picture of a man with a green halo being attacked by an indistinct blob of shadow. The next panel had a shadowy figure putting green memory crystals on shelves with the words, "A shadow steals memories." The last panel was a blank-faced man with empty eyes and a dark halo. "Shadow makes puppets." Alice had already seen these images, so if she had anything to do with it, she would be ready to school her expressions. I still kept an eye on her as I handed the comic back. "This one surprised us. I don''t know anything about the shadow. But we did remove a crystal from a patient''s brain an hour ago. We were mid surgery to remove a brain tumor when the vortex came down. We were making good time, but we had to choose between abandoning the patient, negligently trying to move him while open, or staying to finish. In the end, four of us stayed back. Despite that, it was going smoothly until there was suddenly a flash of light and some kind of pressure wave. From nowhere, a green crystal appeared embedded in his brain. I made the decision to remove it. It¡­ it happened fast. It''s too soon to know if he''ll be ok." I tapped the comic, thinking. Sori had claimed all animals had memory crystals, not just the monsters. I''d thought it was unreliable chatter; after all, if crystals suddenly appeared in people''s brains, everyone would be having seizures and aneurysms or just keeling over dead. Alice''s testimony made me rethink that. Like her, I didn''t have a solid footing to know what was possible in this new world. I saw Alice wipe a tear from her eye. "Sorry, it was pretty awful. He was completely unconscious, and the surgery was going fine. And then that damn light flashed, and he started screaming. Everything happened so quick. I didn''t really make the decision to remove it. Too much was happening. He was suddenly wide awake and feeling everything. His skull started to grow back before our eyes. It was going to close around the crystal. Then, a giant spider appeared from nowhere, and there was no time. I just yanked out the crystal. His skull closed, and we faced the spider. It''s a miracle none of us died. It was terrifying. Now I''m looking at this and wondering if I made the wrong call." "This is all a lot, but thank you. Knowing there are answers, even if they only raise more questions. It helps," she said. "It''s something, a place to begin to make sense of it all. What''s next, then? Crow demons are coming for Jessica and me. Can you help us?" I showed her the last image, which depicted a blue werewolf shoving a crow into the shadow. "Ok. Right," Alice said, looking at the picture and nodding. "Find the shadow, and delete the monsters." --== 34 Hes Not Human ---=Chapter 34: He''s not Human---= Alice brought her group out of the break room, except for Maebe and their empty patient. "I suppose you already know their names, Dr. Anderson Clark and Dr. Jessica Otten; I don''t know why I''m introducing them like this is a symposium. Sorry. Nervous. Umm, I guess you helped bring my Sister Nia here, so you know her. And Denis Conner is our best OR nurse. Everyone, this is Obe- I mean Sam." "He does remind me of Oberon," Nia said, searching my face. "He''s a victim of more weirdness than even us. You saw the comic. His name is Sam." "He''s wearing my hat," Anderson said. "It looks nice," Jessica said. "Aren''t those your clubs too?" Denis asked. "Oh shit, they are." "Right, so, I guess talking about it, we wanted to say you can stay here with us. You clearly know things we don''t, and it can''t be easy out there alone." Alice said. "Even if you can''t talk or answer our questions, you''re still a person, so you''re, of course, welcome," Jessica clarified, as though worried I thought I was only acceptable because I was useful. The truth was, I probably was only being accepted because I was useful. It was nice of her to say, though. "So, we talked about the monsters you said are coming, and we don''t want to sit here waiting for them," Alice said. I dropped the golf bag from my shoulder and pulled my bat out before pushing the bag toward the group of nervous medical professionals. They all just stared at the bag for a second until Alice nodded and stepped up to take a club. Anderson was right behind her, and soon, the whole group had taken a club, including Nia. "We''re going to go looking for them then?" Anderson asked. "We can''t just leave Maebe and Mr. Peterson here alone, though," Jessica said. "You and I at least should go with Oberon¡ªer, Sorry, Sam," Alice said. "The monsters are after us, so anyone near us is in danger. Nia, I want you to stay here and lock the door." "What? No, I want to come with you. I can help." "If you come with, someone else has to stay with Maebe and Mr. Peterson," Alice said gently. "We won''t go far. We need to secure some doors and make sure the area is safe." "But I want to help," Nia said, punctuating her sentence with a swing of a club. "I know, and you are. Honestly, I''m already asking too much of you. Maebe and Mr. Peterson are depending on you. Here, take the comic. You know we still have questions about it; see if you can uncover other secrets or find the right questions. We shouldn''t be gone too long." Nia wasn''t happy, but she took the comic with a scowl and flipped through it. I removed my backpack, pulled out a notebook and pen, and then offered the bag to Nia as well. She looked at my outstretched arm with a conflicted look on her face. After a second of indecision, she stepped forward and accepted the bag. There wasn''t anything especially useful in the bag, but there were still some snacks¡ªless one bag of chips¡ª and some pretty good books, too. The bag humanized me and made a decent weapon in a pinch, but it was also bulky and mostly useless now that I had something better. Still, I''d need the notebook if things got complicated, art being my best communication method. The pockets of my pants weren''t big enough to hold a notebook. However, I''d seen a Doctor''s lab coat hanging on a hook in the waiting room, and the others looked on with curiosity as I grabbed it. It was a bit small, but it fit much better after I accidentally tore the back open. It had wide pockets and held the notebook with only slight bending. Alice nodded approvingly, and Jessica smiled. But Anderson laughed, and Denis said, "He looks like a comic book mad scientist who drank radioactive wolf piss or something." Nia laughed. "Why are you even wearing a mask? I''m pretty sure it''s not hiding your identity." It wasn''t like I wasn''t already playing the clown, so I just gave her a doggy grin and patted her head. Nia made us promise not to be gone long, and Alice ensured she knew the path we would take as we cleared Surgery. I''d used the map by the elevator to show them that the ER was off-limits. The last thing we needed was another confrontation with Crowseph. The ICU would need to be sealed off as well. Since the Trauma Crows hadn''t attacked yet, my guess was we''d find them there. We worked our way toward the ICU first, clearing rooms and locking doors as we went. The tension had everybody quiet and on edge. We had all faced a monster recently, and knocking open doors constantly reminded us that anything could be around the next corner. Even if Alice''s group had some limited memories of the loops, most of their recent memories were of an ordinary world without monsters. Sure, it was self-destructing with uncertainty from the events around Silicon Valley. Still, in the past years, the world had constantly felt on the verge of one cataclysm or another, and life always went on. Pandemics, extreme weather, unstable governments; there was always something to be anxious about or grieved over, but usually, there was nothing to do but get up for work and hope somebody knew what they were doing. It wasn''t always pleasant, but it was normal. Now that was gone. For me, it had been less than a week, and even with the answers I''d found, I was still woefully unprepared for this reality. For Alice''s group, it must have been surreal. Eventually, we wound our way back around to the closet I''d locked Slender Hopper in. We hadn''t seen any other monsters, and since it was trapped, I''d rather not let them kill it. I stood in front of the door and held out an arm to bar anyone from getting too close. "Listen," Anderson said. "I think there''s something in there." He was right; Slender Hopper was moving around inside, probably getting ready to leap at anyone who opened the door. Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions. "Okay, Oberon, Open the door. We''re ready." Alice said, her voice only showing a little nervousness as she hefted her club over her shoulder. I''d been considering how to sketch a simple explanation without taking up much time. I crouched, slightly turning my back to the group so I could use the floor as a desk while drawing. I reached to pull my notebook from my pocket and was utterly distracted when Denis stepped up beside me and jabbed a needle into my arm. "Denis!" Alice shouted, sounding shocked. The needle hadn''t hurt, at least not compared to Slender Hopper slamming jagged teeth into me and tearing off flesh. I hadn''t actually seen what happened, so I was slow to react as he pushed the plunger in and jumped back. "Denis, what was that?" Anderson asked. "Just a sedative. It was getting aggressive, territorial." I pulled out the needle and was looking at my arm. It did actually hurt, a dull burning that made me scowl. "From the OR? Which one?" Anderson pressed. Denis answered, but I missed it as a wave of pain began to radiate through my arm and shoulder. "Denis, what the fuck, that''s meant to be used in an IV." "What were you thinking?" Alice asked. "I was thinking I didn''t want someone to get mauled." Denis snapped back. "That''s reckless. You might have just killed him." Anderson said "Well, good thing we''re apparently in a time loop," Denis said. "Yeah. One that he remembers but you don''t. Not exactly bright." Anderson replied. Denis didn''t immediately respond, and Jessica knelt in front of me. "Hey, you alright?" she asked gently. I was trying to keep my breathing even; the pain was getting intense. I was shaking, and my heart was pounding in my ears. I was losing track of what they were saying as my brain screamed insistently that my flesh was being carved from my arm. I held it tight to my stomach and curled around it protectively. Soon, the pain was pressing across my chest, making my whole body feel like it was caught in a burning clamp. I shook and shuttered in pain, and it took me a minute to realize I was actually whining audibly. It would have been a triumph if it hadn''t been so agonizing. Someone was on either side of me, and they were talking to me gently. I didn''t catch much of what they actually said, but I let them guide me onto a gurney, where I curled up in a fetal position. They tried to lay me on my back, but I just curled myself up tighter. Maybe it was because Denis used it wrong or because I was a werewolf, but this was a terrible tranquilizer. My chest felt heavy, and my breathing had become ragged. I wasn''t stable on the gurney and wobbled on my side as they wheeled me along. It was probably why they wanted me to lay on my back. Disorientation and vertigo teamed up to make me feel like I was falling. "You''re okay, you can relax. You''ll be okay. We''ve got you." A voice spoke soothingly. They were holding my hand and petting my shoulder gently. It helped, or maybe the sedative was finally doing its job, but I was able to relax. My clenched jaw and stomach loosened up a bit; the pain was becoming less, the burning sensation fading to a duller ache. This was going to cause problems. We had nearly finished securing the Surgery wing, and they could close off the lobby if they didn''t want to check it. But I didn''t know if locked doors would keep the anticipated trauma crows out. They were mainly meant to slow them down and maybe act as a warning. I was much happier playing defense and avoiding them, especially since killing them wouldn''t stop them. They''d just be back. Until we found my shadow, securing Surgery was the best option. Searching the floor for trouble, let me look for the Shadow and create a safe space to get through the day. Now, that effort was wasted. We''d have to do it all again tomorrow, but I''d have to avoid letting Denis sabotage me. Fucking Denis. I understood he was just afraid of what he didn''t understand, plus I was huge with sharp teeth and claws, so that didn''t help either. Still, I definitely wasn''t willing to let him off the hook that easily. Even if he was worried about me blocking Alice, it should have been pretty obvious I was trying to communicate something. Even if he didn''t realize I was going for my notebook, my attention was clearly not focused on Alice or anyone else. There wasn''t any reason to think I was threatening or even challenging anyone. Everyone reacted to me out of fear, but Denis''s was most pronounced, and apparently, it never faded entirely. It seemed like he''d just been looking for an excuse to use the sedative; why else would he even have it? I didn''t know how long the sedative would last, but I was already writing the rest of the loop off as lost. Hopefully, Alice and Jessica would survive their demons without me. Next time, I''d make sure Denis didn''t get a chance to get so close. "What are you even planning to do? Give it fluids?" Denis complained. "Sure, and oxygen," Alice said. "It''s not like we can monitor his vitals. We don''t know what his normal is. For that matter, you don''t know that saline and oxygen are okay for him." Anderson argued. "That''s what I''m saying. That''s not a person," Denis said. "Shut up, Denis," several voices said. "He''s clearly breathing our same air. And yeah, it might not work, but I''m pretty sure it will. I''m as confident about that as I am that he''s called Oberon," Alice said. "But his name is Sam," Jessica interjected. "Maybe, but I think I remember what Nia named him, not his real name. She said he reminded her of her dog." "The giant blue werewolf reminded your sister of her pet? Is it the glowing fur or jagged teeth?" Denis asked. "It doesn''t matter. And Jessica is right about one thing: the day will loop, and Oberon- Sam is going to remember-" "Not with as much Midazolam as I gave it." "Again, he''s not human. You don''t know how the drug will affect him." "And if he remembers any of it. I want him to remember us helping. Either it will help, or he''ll know we at least tried. Denis, you, on the other hand, are probably fucked." ---= --=- 35 Dont Play The Victim --=-Chapter 35: Don''t Play The Victim--=- "I did what I had to!" Denis shouted. It was loud enough that it focused my mind back to the moment. "Well, if he''s right and more demons come hunting us, I hope you''re as quick to volunteer to face them," Alice replied "I was protecting you, your sister, all of you," He said, sounding dejected. "Did you even notice it was protecting a demon?" "And was about to show us why when you decided you alone were qualified to decide what to do." "Oh sure, I''m not a doctor, so I couldn''t possibly be qualified to-" "Don''t play the victim. We all decided to give Sam a chance. You were scared and thought you could ignore how the rest of us felt." "Nobody cares about your feelings. You can''t let things like that around people you care about. It''s already protecting its pets from us. What if Nia had gone in there when she was looking for you? Why are you guys ok with this? It''s like you''ve all lost your minds." "Stop saying you''re protecting me. He protected me." Nia shouted. My eyes fluttered open, and I saw her wielding the comic at Denis like a weapon. We were back in the Surgery waiting room. "God help me, kid, you weren''t even there. You didn''t see it crouching to attack," Denis said, sounding exasperated. "Denis, Come on," Anderson said. "Don''t try rewriting history; the rest of us were there. Sure, he was blocking the door, but he wasn''t about to attack. Alice is right; he was just reaching for his notebook," "I''m so glad you can cling to your naivety at my expense," Denis grumbled bitterly. I heard Nia softly ask, "Is he going to die?" but I didn''t hear the answer before my eyes closed, and I lost track of things for a bit. Personally, I hoped it would be soon. My limbs and chest felt heavy, and my thoughts were disjointed. The pain was still there, but that only occasionally felt important. "I want to talk to him alone for a second." I heard Nia say after a minute. "Nia?" Alice asked. "He... he was there when dad died. I just need to talk to him." "Ok, Hun," Alice said. "Just keep an eye on him; make sure he keeps breathing. If his breathing slows or stops, come and let us know right away, alright? "Oh, come on, you''re not really allowing that. You guys, that thing could be anything. You''re all just accepting this sob story of this not being its real body? It''s clearly part of all this." "Give it a rest, Denis. Even if that were true, he''s clearly not in a position to do anything about it now. " Moments or hours passed, and I heard Nia crying softly and whispering, "I''m sorry, I''m sorry. This is my fault." If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. Aw, what a poor kid to have lost her puppy. Wait, am I her puppy? No, I was Oberon, king of ¨C dogs or something. I knew that didn''t sound right, but I was pretty out of it. "Is the stuff in this comic really true?" she asked. My mind was too scattered to answer, even if I could speak. Even opening my eyes was too much effort. At least, I was pretty sure they were still closed. "Thank you for saving me," she said quietly. She was such an odd kid. She seemed different every time I turned around. "Oberon?" Nia asked. Oops, I''d zoned out. I was feeling pretty zone-y. "I need to know something," she said, holding up the comic I''d made. She pointed to a few panels toward the end of the booklet. "Will I really remember everything?" One of the things Sori and I talked about while making the comic was the trauma monsters. According to Sori, Crowseph was right about how the creatures were made. Traumatic memories¡ªsuch as slowly being torn to ribbons by insane crows¡ªwould splinter from a person''s memory crystal, and a new being would coalesce around it. Then again, two minutes later, he said they came from another dimension, so I''d be skeptical if his word was all I had to go on. Well, more skeptical. The fact that Crowseph was the other source shouldn''t help Sori''s case, considering they were a murderous lunatic, except that they had apparently succeeded in merging multiple people into their flock. The theory also fit my own observations to an extent. At least, I knew of two monsters that had appeared in locations where traumas had occurred. Alice''s patient was likely traumatized at the start of the loop¡ªwhen he woke up during surgery and apparently felt everything. A giant spider spawned in the vents of the operating room at almost the same moment. The creature in the back of the patrol car, Tickles, could easily have any number of causes. Between the near miss of the vortex, the crash and loss of Titus, the apocalypse, and especially Titus''s severed arm that she''d had been clutching, Nia had any number of things to be traumatized over. The kid had faced a lot in a brief window. We all had. If Sori and Crowseph were right about where the monsters were coming from, then that patrol car was exactly where I''d expect to find one. Then again, it was the end of the world. Who hadn''t been traumatized at this point? It could still be nothing more than correlation. If they were related to trauma, we seemed to be short more than a few monsters. Even if traumas did spawn monsters, it didn''t mean that it would be possible to reconnect with those memories, let alone that it was a good idea. It just fit Sori''s theory on what happened to Crowseph. A flock of crows¡ªpanicking from the weird vortex¡ªknock Joe off a ledge or kill him some other way, but probably not by attacking. The next day, a creature resembling a monstrous crow or flock of crows was spawned. It killed the man and harvested his memory crystal, gaining his memories and identity. The man respawns, twisted and tormented by the experience. He decides that if he has to feel this pain, so do others. It was the only way they''d ever understand the world as he saw it. Possessed, he split his mind among that original flock of crows, merging with them. Then, he began using his swarm to terrorize and kill people. When his victims spawned trauma monsters of their own, he was able to use the memory crystals as a bridge to bring their minds into his flock. Sori had speculated that Alice and Jessica could avoid being forced into the collective in a few ways. The first was the one that Crowseph had mentioned in our bargaining. If I found the Shadow and somehow used it to remove their memory crystals, they''d forget everything. I wanted to dismiss the memory loss as unimportant since they remembered so little. Unfortunately, the way they both acted toward me had to be because of some broken memories from past loops. They remembered some, even if it was limited and unreliable. So, if I managed it, they''d lose a portion of who they''d become. Even with the cost, it was likely still preferable to Sori''s next idea. He said Alice and Jessica could kill the demons and intentionally consume the memory crystal. He''d said. "They just have to hold it close to their brain for a minute and not reject their own memory. If you fight your past, you''ll repeat it." "Yeah, why wouldn''t they want to remember being scourged to death by beaks and talons?" I''d replied, remembering how Nia had responded when I''d tried to hand her Tickles''s memory crystal. She''d panicked, and it made sense why. You don''t get past trauma by wanting to or even needing to. I worried that trying to reintegrate their traumas with the rest of their memories could leave them just as trapped by their past as Crowseph wanted. This was what Nia was asking me about. She gestured to a portion of the comic with a woman holding a crystal to her forehead while a storm raged around her and in her chest. Tears streamed down the woman''s face as she knelt, trembling, lines representing shaking surrounded her. But the last panel had the woman with a thought bubble containing a tear-off calendar with ''74'' written on it. Scattered around her were torn-off dates with lower numbers. Her speech bubble just said, "I remember." According to Sori, if they could accept their traumas¡ªcome to peace with that pain¡ªthey would have access to lost memories from previous loops. If the risk wasn''t so high, it would be a significant prize. If Jessica and Alice''s need wasn''t so great, I wouldn''t have even included it as an option. Not least of which was that my source was Sori. I had zoned out again, and Nia was studying the comic. This wasn''t for her, and I gently closed a paw on the comic and took the book from her hands. Then I patted her on the head, slid the comic beneath my pillow, and laid down on it. That used up the last of my strength, my eyes closed, and consciousness finally escaped me. I wonder if that''s why she had horns. 36 Are You My Shadow? --==Chapter 36: Are You My Shadow?--== I was hardly surprised when I found myself back on the stone ship in the ether. "Fucking Denis," I said as I relaxed into the deck chair. "That was a dick move." Sori didn''t answer, and after a second, I began to look around for him. "Sori?" I called. My voice sounded flat. There was nothing to reflect my voice back, nothing except a silently raging ocean. There was also no response from the eldritch eye. "Did I bring myself here?" I wondered out loud. If I ever did get my voice back, keeping my inner monologue from becoming spoken thoughts would be a challenge. I started to look around. I wasn''t confident that Sori wasn''t playing some kind of joke. He was probably hiding, ready to pop out for a jump scare. When I didn''t find him hiding behind one of the trees or inside the cottage/cabin, I walked to the one part of the ship I hadn''t investigated yet. I couldn''t decide if it was a storm cellar or a cargo hold. I was inarguably on a ship, but the entrance was two wooden doors set at an angle into the stone deck like a storm cellar. Either way, I hadn''t had a chance to check it out yet. I''d had more immediate concerns whenever I''d been here before, so I hadn''t done much more than surface-level exploration. Grabbing each of the wooden doors by their handles, I pulled them open suddenly, fully expecting Sori to come shooting out. "Boo!" I said as I did. He wasn''t there, though, and my eyes narrowed in suspicion. The stone stairs leading into the ship were dark and unlit. As inexplicably familiar as the ship felt, I still had a chill of unease when looking down into the black depths of the hold. Maybe there was a flashlight or lamp or something in the cottage. I turned away from the stairs¡ªand nearly jumped out of my skin. A silhouette was walking silently toward the front of the ship. It was a corporeal shadow, an empty void that somehow managed to have depth. "Shit!" I swore, surprised. The Shadow didn''t react and just kept walking. "Are you, it? Are you what they''ve all been looking for?" I couldn''t tell if it could hear me. Its movements were strange, eerie. It moved like it was stop motion or lagging. The strobing only made it creepier and the whole thing more surreal. I watched as it extended its arm and spun in a slow half-circle so it faced my direction. It stood that way for a moment, its hand still partially extended, almost as if expecting a handshake. I wasn''t close enough to accept it, and it didn''t quite seem to be looking at me. I started to approach anyway, cautious but curious. Before I could get close, it turned and continued forward. After a few steps, it began interacting with something I couldn''t see. Or maybe it was miming something. It very nearly reminded me of R2D2''s recording of Princess Leia. The shadow bent over and seemed to be manipulating something. As it did, my curiosity got the better of me, and I reached out to touch it. If this was my Shadow, maybe I just needed to claim it. Maybe there was needle and thread in the cottage that I could use to sew it on like Peter Pan. I decided I''d look for superglue first. It seemed like it''d hurt to sew something to my feet. As I touched the shadow, it spun, startled. I''d surprised it. It backed up a step but seemed to run into something invisible. "Oh, hey," I said awkwardly. "Sorry, I didn''t mean to scare you. Are you my-" A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. The shadow took off running, sprinting toward the Zen Garden. "Ok..." I said, watching. "We''re on a ship. Where does it think it''s going?" It grabbed the rake with void-black fingers and turned back toward me. "Oh. Shit." I said as the Shadow hefted the rake over its shoulder and began to run at me. Unsure of what else to do¡ªand lacking a weapon of my own¡ªI ran too. "Hey, wait, that rake''s for peaceful meditation!" I shouted over my shoulder as I ran for one of the tree-masts. The Shadow''s movements were even more jittery than before. It flickered as it ran, only for it to vanish and reappear several steps back. Even still, it was fast. Its stride was long, and its feet often didn''t even seem to hit the deck. "Can we talk about this? Why are you attacking me? Are you my Shadow or not?" I was pretty sure it was my Shadow. If there were two such shadows, people wouldn''t be as obsessed with mine as they were. It was tempting to think the shadow had been trapped in the cellar and released when I opened the hatch, except that the door hadn''t been locked or barred. Besides, Sori had said he''d snooped around. If he''d found the Shadow in the cellar, he would have mentioned it. Probably. You never could tell with the insane bobble. The Shadow didn''t answer my questions. Instead, it aggressively swung the rake at me. "If you aren''t my Shadow, are you the one who took my Shadow?" I didn''t really expect an answer at this point, but maybe I''d get some kind of reaction from it. Then again, Sori had said he had to work to translate me even here. Maybe my questions weren''t as intelligible as I thought. Its flickering movement made it difficult to predict, and I retreated from the tree. I hurried back toward the cottage, hoping I might find something to use as a weapon. If nothing else, I could at least bar the door¡ªthough that seemed a little cowardly. Likely, this thing was either my Shadow, or someone using my Shadow. I needed it to save Jessica and Alice from a nightmare future, and to wake up Maebe. I also needed it if I wanted my lost memories back. Running and hiding wouldn''t help with that. At the same time, that thing wasn''t holding back with its attacks. This was some kind of spirit or dream world, and I wasn''t sure what would happen if I got injured or killed here, but probably nothing good. Before I could get to the cottage, the Shadow appeared in front of me, already swinging. I dove to the ground beneath its swing and checked behind me to be sure there weren''t two. It was still alone. As I watched, it flickered and slid, its form gliding back to a position behind where I''d just been. I backed up to the ship''s railing. The Shadow had more or less cut me off from any cover, especially if it could teleport like that, even briefly. "Alright, let''s just calm down," I said, trying to make my voice soft so my intent would come across even if my words were gibberish. The shadow advanced on me, holding the rake parallel to the ground at its waist. I prepared to juke to the side when it attacked. It was too quick, suddenly blinking in front of me, its weapon drawn back to swing. I grabbed the rake before the Shadow could swing it at me, and we began wrestling for control. I had a height advantage on the Shadow and wrenched the rake to my right. The Shadow didn''t let go and was flung against the rail, knocking its legs out from under it. Flailing, it let go of the rake and scrabbled for a grip on the railing. It failed. Its momentum carried it past the rail and careening over the side. "Shit. What the fuck," I swore as I looked down the side of the ship. The shadow had disappeared into the teal waves of plasma that broke against the hull. I set down the rake, leaning it against the rail, and sighed. "Hopefully, that won''t make getting the Shad-" Something slammed into my back. I didn''t even manage to swear before flipping forward over the rail. By pure luck, my hand grabbed one of the posts supporting the railing, and I slammed into the rocky cliff face of the hull. I hung over the churning waves, dangling from one hand, and panted. In an exchange of fates, I looked up and saw the Shadow looking down at me. I hadn''t actually seen it hit the ocean, I just hadn''t imagined any other result to such a fall. I didn''t know how it had gotten back up¡ª unless it managed its glitching teleport like before. If that was the case, it didn''t seem like it was being dragged back to its previous position like before. The Shadow stood watching me for a few seconds, and I could only stare back, waiting for it to start kicking at my fingers or swinging the rake at me. It did neither. Instead, it turned and walked back toward the front of the ship and out of my line of sight. I swung my other arm up so I had two hands holding onto the post and got my knees between myself and the hull to leverage myself up higher. As I peered over the deck of the ship, I saw the Shadow miming in thin air again, but the why eluded me. I moved a hand to the railing and was about to pull myself up when, in the span of a blink, the Shadow was in front of me again. It grabbed the rake and swung it at my head. In surprised panic, my hands slipped from the railing, and I began to fall toward the violent plasma churning below. Desperately, I tried to remember what it felt like when Sori sent my mind back to my body. I didn''t know what would happen if I hit those waves, but I doubted that I''d just appear back aboard the ship like the Shadow. A heartbeat before I struck, my mind felt a tug, and my awareness slid into unconsciousness, leaving the ether behind. --== 37 Why Are You Standing ---=Chapter 37: Why Are You Standing---= It was the first time I''d tried to leave the Ether without Sori''s help. I was close enough to the roiling waves of plasma to feel a hum of power on my skin like a static charge. Then, like an epiphany, my awareness slipped out of the Ether and back into my unconscious body and a dreamless sleep. As I came awake, I was vaguely aware of someone moving around nearby, but not who they were or what they were doing. I heard footsteps and the sound of a door opening and closing before I was awake enough to so much as open my eyes. With an inward groan, I stretched as sensation returned. I was sprawled out on a gurney that was much too small for me. I tried to open my eyes, but the fluorescent lights jabbed at them, and I threw a hairy arm across my face defensively. Slowly, I sat up and turned so my legs hung from the bed. For a minute, I sat there, bent over, hands on my knees, head hanging loosely from my neck. I stayed in that position, taking slow, deep breaths, my chest still aching from whatever Denis gave me. Everything ached, not just my chest, but since I had to keep breathing, my chest and my head were complaining the loudest. Fucking Denis Tentatively, I opened my eyes, and the light only stabbed them a little less. It wasn''t especially bright; in fact, all but one of the lights were off. Taking a moment to look around, I recognized the Surgery waiting room Alice and Company had been holed up in earlier. They weren''t here now, and I wasn''t sure what to think about that. After all, I wasn''t alone; they''d left me here with their unconscious aura-less surgery patient. He wasn''t connected to the IV or heart monitor, so maybe they weren''t concerned about him. Still, you''d think it would be important to monitor any surgery patient, especially a patient whose brain surgery had ended so abruptly. The long minutes of pain and fear before I''d lost consciousness were fuzzy, but I was pretty sure Nia was supposed to be keeping watch. Then again, Maebe was gone too, so something might have happened. I was also pretty sure someone had just been in here, so maybe they didn''t need to keep that close an eye on either of us. Then again, they might just be afraid to be around when I woke up. Denis had betrayed me, and they didn''t know how I''d react. I hoped it wasn''t out of fear. I''d been making some connections with them. Communication was limited, but there had been playful moments. At one point, Anderson pointed out that, if I was a supervillain, my henchmen might dress in scrubs just like our group. It led to some of us posing in a locker room mirror. For a moment, I''d actually had fun. All of that had come to an end when Denis had jabbed me with that needle. He was wary from the beginning and never really warmed up to me. I don''t know if he had that planned the whole time, but, in retrospect, it wasn''t especially surprising. I wasn''t exactly Denis''s biggest fan either, but admittedly, that was primarily because of his reaction to me. If he weren''t so hateful, he might be pleasant. Trust is tricky, and I can hardly throw stones at anyone else''s trust issues. Still, it wasn''t just Denis''s betrayal that hurt; it was how the others reacted to it. They all seemed to think Denis''s actions might unleash my inner monster. I doubted they''d have felt the same fear if I still had a human body. I was pissed at Denis and wouldn''t be putting my back to him anytime soon, but I wasn''t about to maul him or anything. They were good people overall, even if Denis made me want to add a bunch of caveats. Most of them had been willing to extend me trust, but that didn''t stop them from seeing me as a danger first and a person second. Looking around the empty waiting room, I couldn''t help but think that was why no one was in the room. Had they seen me rousing and left until they could be sure I wasn''t rabid? This room clearly wasn''t meant for patients in hospital beds, even if one of them was just a gurney. It was a small waiting room for one or two small groups to wait for news of a loved one in surgery. It would probably have been cozy if it wasn''t just me and the soul-less guy. Alice and company had likely holed up here because it could be closed off and was more comfortable for their group than a surgery room would be. There was a recovery room, but it was in Crowseph''s territory. They probably chose this room for their own sakes but had abandoned it because they weren''t sure how I''d react when I woke up. Then again, maybe they were still out clearing rooms or were just trying to let me rest. This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. Denis had been the one to give me that unnecessary bit of uncertainty, and I''d love to smack him for it. Not that I would, probably, but my jaw clenched hard enough that it hurt when I thought about him. I needed to get moving. The best thing I could do was get myself up so the next person who came in wouldn''t have to feel that uncertainty. I was wearing my mask, but they''d taken my lab coat off at some point. That had been an act of brave kindness on someone''s part. Pushing myself slowly off the bed, I stood and shuffled over to a nearby chair where I''d spotted the coat. My notebook was missing, and I didn''t know if it was intentional or not. I had another in my bag, but my backpack and bat were nowhere to be seen. Lovely. The room wasn''t large, and it only took a second to be sure my bag and club hadn''t been tucked away behind something. I did come across Anderson''s hat under my gurney. So That made me feel a bit better. Not seeing my stuff, I looked around for replacements but couldn''t find so much as a pen. I eyed the chairs and considered bringing one with me as a weapon. My limbs still felt weak, however, and I wasn''t confident I''d make it very far carrying it around. Then again, if I got dizzy and needed to sit, it would be right there. Even the comic I''d tucked under my pillow before I''d lost consciousness was gone. I remembered how upset Nia was and hoped she hadn''t taken it back to do something foolish. Alice would no doubt make sure she stayed nearby, so I wasn''t too worried she''d go after Tickles. I mainly wanted to know why they''d taken all my stuff. The baseball bat I kind of understood, even if I didn''t like it. If I woke up pissed and came at Denis, it would be best if they had weapons and I didn''t. I''d given Nia the bag to hold onto, and it was just filled with a few supplies for a road trip. It was a better weapon than nothing. But I couldn''t imagine they''d look at it as anything more than supplies. That might actually answer the question of why they''d taken it. Between the snacks and puzzle books, they might just be occupying some time trying not to worry about trauma monsters or murderous crows. With no weapon or way to communicate, I was unsure of what step to take next. I could still use emotional glamour, and I considered what face to present. That was what Denis really took. I had been on the path to being treated as just another person, even without the illusion, and now I was back at step 1. When I was in high school, I joined an improv group that did street performances in The City and had a lot of fun doing it. I''d run around as Spider-Man and Peter Pan and a dozen types of zombies. It was the first time I''d really stepped outside of my shell, and I loved all of it. It was the part of myself I''d been dipping into since all this started. The glamours were like that. They let me put on a mask and play a role. But even in that improv group, I''d always relished coming home and removing the mask. It''s fun to bask in the spotlight, but the weight of people''s attention is heavy, and I''m an introvert in my core. It had been easy at first, fun even, to throw on a cape and overact, to put on a character that fit my appearance. And then I''d been mauled, threatened, shot multiple times, and drugged. I''d watched people die and seen people I saved run from me in fear. I was utterly drained and being told the show must go on. Thanks to Denis, it must, even though all I wanted to do was go home, take off the mask, and just exist. Fucking Denis, I cursed him again but wasn''t sure how I''d handle him in the future. I was maybe blaming Denis more than he deserved, but he''d stopped me from being treated as a person by making me a threat. The others had immediately stepped in to help, but it wasn''t just because I was a person deserving of help. It was because Denis might be right that I was a threat. Their fear wouldn''t let me just be. Here I was, without help or a weapon to face the unknown. The best option I had for defense was an unwieldy plastic and wire-frame chair. It wouldn''t exactly lend itself to presenting me as a subtle and civilized being. I was going to have to risk wandering the halls bare-handed. I just knew I would end up getting mauled again. More like ''bear'' handed, I joked to myself, looking at my furry hands. Honestly, they were enormous, and it wasn''t any wonder people found me intimidating. That only made it all the more frustrating that Denis had underscored that fear. The others really had been relaxing around me for a minute. Sighing again, I put the Tam O''Shanter back on my head. Well, if I was going to ham it up, I''d look cool doing it. I was reaching for the door when the handle turned, and the door pushed in toward me. I quickly stepped back as Jessica slipped in without looking. She closed the door quietly before turning around and yelping in surprise when she noticed me. "Ohmygod," She said in one word, a hand going to her throat. "Oh Sam, geez, you surprised me. Nia told me you were still unconscious. Why are you standing, though? Take it easy. Here, sit down." She said, moving toward me and trying to guide me to a seat. I was taken aback. Moment of surprise aside, she certainly wasn''t acting afraid. ---= 38 Im Just So Scared --=-Chapter 38: I''m Just So Scared--=- Jessica surprised me by taking my arm. Off-kilter, I let her guide me into a seat. She surprised me again a moment later when she sat down next to me. "Sorry. We didn''t want to leave you alone. Denis was a moron and injected you directly with a drug meant to be added slowly using an IV. On top of that, dosage is sensitive, and even when done right, people sometimes stop breathing. Plus, we don''t know if your biology is different or just your appearance. We honestly didn''t know what to expect." Unlike Alice, she didn''t seem worried about making a good impression. She was just talking to me like I imagined she did anyone. Maybe even more familiarly than she would an average patient. I couldn''t help but wonder why it was different with her. Actually, she and Denis were almost polar opposites in their treatment of me. Denis seemed afraid of me no matter what, and Jessica seemed comfortable with me no matter what. I couldn''t know for sure without my lost memories, but it seemed to me that whatever lingering memories they had were affecting how they reacted to me. Next time I spoke to Sori, I''d have to see if there was a way to reinforce those memories. Of course, he''d probably suggest eating fairy wings seasoned with dried cow shit or something stupid, but I wouldn''t know unless I asked. "Sorry, it''s just getting to be a lot out there. We got the doors all locked just in time. Some things have been walking around out there trying to get in. Sometimes, they test a door a few times and move on; other times, they go mad trying to get in. Twice now, the door has begun cracking under assault. We had to open the door and let Alice and Anderson chase them off. So far, shouting and wildly hitting them with the clubs has been enough, but it''s been terrifying. My nerves are shot. Nia came out wearing your backpack and holding that comic you made. She told her sister she wanted to help, that she had your supplies and guide, and she wanted to be close. Alice gave in, and I took the excuse to come back here to just breathe for a minute. I hope that''s okay?" She leaned her head against my arm as she said that, and my heart clenched at the casual touch. I could feel the moisture in my eyes and glanced away to wipe them with the back of my hand. I hadn''t been sure I even could cry. I don''t know why I was masking it; it''s one of the most human things any of us do. Beside me, Jessica was shaking softly. For a second, I thought she was laughing or was secretly afraid and shaking in fear. Looking down, I saw she was crying too. Maybe because I looked at her, or just because she couldn''t bear to face the world right now, she hid her face in the fur of my bicep and wept. She had me completely wrong-footed. I''d been feeling sorry for myself for not being understood and misjudged at least one of my new friends. The ache in my chest persisted, and I was genuinely touched. Still, I realized the ache was probably due, at least in part, to Denis''s poison, not just strong emotion. Still, it was a touching moment and exactly what I''d needed to feel human. Jessica groaned quietly. "Sorry, I should probably get back. They might need me. The demons you warned us about just keep walking in circles, trying to break through doors. Alice wanted us all to rush out when the door started to cave and try to kill one. She was so brave, and I- I just couldn''t do it. Denis didn''t either, and both the demons got away." She started crying into my arm again. "I tried, and I''m just so scared," She wept. "How does she keep facing them. I keep having flashes of fear and confusion where all I know is that I''m about to die. It''s only here that I don''t. Only when you''re around do I have any hope that things might be okay. I don''t even know you, but it''s like I know you''re here to help, like God sent you to be our guardian angel or something." That last bit made me cringe a little. I had never found a reason to believe in any god. This B-movie of an apocalypse hadn''t changed that. I understood the appeal of believing someone had a plan for the shit going on in the world, but I hadn''t seen any evidence it was true. Still, her sentiment was flattering even as it brought me up short. It was further evidence that there were fragments of memory floating around in people who had otherwise forgotten the previous loops. Having my own memory problem, I didn''t know what I''d done to inspire her trust, but I was grateful for it and that I could offer her a shoulder to learn on. I let her cry and patted her head before leaving my hand there to offer any comfort I could. Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. Surprised as I''d been by her sudden entrance, I hadn''t put an illusion in place; otherwise, I''d be concerned that was why she felt she could be this open. Since she was being so open, putting on a glamour didn''t feel appropriate. I also just didn''t want to. For a moment, I was able to just be. As fun as the Gremlins were, being with them was still a performance. And they were, after all, alien. Alien to me anyway. Jessica put her hand on my fur-covered hand and moved it down to her face. She pressed my palm against her cheek, and I could feel the tears against my skin. My breath hitched at the intimacy. I didn''t want either of us to misread this situation, but I also really didn''t want to put up walls where none were needed. If I had been in my old body¡ªor even my Ether body¡ªI would probably have draped an arm around her and drawn her closer. She was obviously smart, smart enough to be a surgeon anyway. Plus, she was kind and trusting. She was definitely my type. But, while she was a beautiful, fully human person, I was a glowing werewolf. That wasn''t even to mention our forgotten past that could contextualize this moment negatively or positively. Besides, I''d remember this moment clearly in the next loop, and she would remember next to nothing. Also, how embarrassing would it be to make a move and get rebuffed? I mean, I was a freaking werewolf. The idea of making a move as I was made me uncomfortable. I''m on a lot of spectrums, but not so much the furry one. I mean, Lola Bunny''s a babe; anyone with eyes can see that, but it''s the human features, not the bunny features, that draw the eye. It''s her eyes, breasts, and hips, which aren''t bunny-like at all. Am I misremembering that she has a belly button? That''s not an animal; that''s a human in cosplay. My point being¡ªI''d never engaged in furry activities or really got the appeal. Now that I actually had fur, I wasn''t sure what my expectations for romance should be. I wasn''t sure it was possible for anyone to "look past" my appearance; they''d almost have to be into it instead, and I didn''t know how to feel about that. Then again, that kind of thing was pretty far down my list of priorities at that moment. What decided me was that what Jessica and I really needed was support, not comfort, by way of momentary pleasure. Not that I really knocked that kind of thing; historically, I was big on momentary distractions from unending stress. In this case, it would just be destructive. I leaned my head back against the wall, feeling conflicted. Nothing could ever be simple. We stayed that way for several minutes, Jessica crying into my hand and arm, occasionally shuddering with quiet sobs. After a while, she brought my hand away from her face and wiped her tears while still leaning her forehead against my arm. "Sorry," She said. "I just, today has been a lot, and it seems like there''s only more bad coming. I just don''t know what to do." I wished I had any good answers for her¡ªor a way to answer at all. What I could do, was act. I don''t mean perform. I mean, I could take action. Jessica was afraid to go back out there, afraid of the monsters trying to get her. And from the sound of it, they would get in soon. I stood up. "Sam?" Jessica asked, unsure. I gave her a doggy grin and walked to the door, grabbing one of the chairs as I went. It would be a poor weapon, but it was still better than nothing, especially if Jessica came along to vouch for my tranquility. Hopefully, I could upgrade before I ran into real trouble. "Sam?" Jessica repeated, confusing me for a moment since I thought she''d understood. I''d have to swing the chair around or something in demonstration. I turned back to Jessica to pantomime my plans, but she wasn''t looking at me. She was looking at the unconscious patient. "Where''s Maebe? And why is Mr. Peterson disconnected from the monitor?" --=- 39 The Door --==Chapter 39: The Door --== Jessica had her face scrunched up in confusion. "Did Nia take Maebe out for some reason? I don''t remember Maebe being with her, though. Did we even have Maebe in a wheelchair?" Memories of Aquarium Guy flashed through my head. Like Maebe, he''d had no aura. Sori seemed to think my Shadow was responsible for both. "I guess she might have woken up? It wouldn''t be any more unexpected than the onset of her acute catatonia," Jessica said, standing up and walking toward me. I set down my planned weapon and let her squeeze by as she walked over to check the bathroom. "Maebe?" she said, knocking on the door and poking her head in. "Hmm, well, she''s not in the bathroom. Could she have woken up and disconnected Mr. Peterson for some reason?" Jessica seemed to just be speaking out loud since she didn''t look to me for a response; even so, it made me hope that Sori was right that finding my shadow would return my voice. "Excuse me," Jessica said as she moved past me again, back to her patient, and began checking his vitals. The IV tubes and heart monitor cables were hanging loosely down to the floor. The monitor wasn''t on, presumably because it would be beeping alarm. I''d thought it was odd they weren''t keeping a closer eye on their patient, Mr. Peterson. Apparently, they had been until someone disconnected him while I was drugged. It was far from the only unexplained thing going on with him. He still didn''t have an aura, but as I looked at him more closely, I started seeing streaks of light zipping through where his aura should be. It reminded me of a cloud chamber detecting radiation, but in reverse. The whisps weren''t coming from Mr. Peterson but were instead going toward him, into him. I tried to remember if I''d seen something similar with Aquarium Guy. It had been an intense few days of time loops, but even so, I wasn''t used to people having auras at all. I''d only noticed Aquarium Guy''s lack of glow after the fact, when Sori pointed it out. That encounter had also been extremely short. Either way, I didn''t remember seeing anything. Still, if I had a spider-sense, it''d be tingling. Maebe had vanished, as if she''d upped and walked out, despite being catatonic. Sori had said the minds of both Maebe and Guy had been locked away, leaving their bodies empty for any wandering horror to possess. Apparently, it wasn''t much different than the crow Sori had temporarily stolen from Crowseph. Although Sori hadn''t known the specifics of how the shadow thief had stolen their minds, I''d hoped that by clearing surgery of any monsters, we would keep Maebe from being possessed. After all, she''d been left alone up to that point. Her vanishing act had me worried that she''d been taken and that Mr. Peterson was next. I kept my eyes locked on Jessica''s patient as she squeezed past my empty gurney to reach him, but the man didn''t so much as twitch. The room was a shoebox, and there wasn''t really space for me to stand over Jessica protectively. If something happened, if Mr. Peterson turned from catatonic into a drone, it would take me long moments to intervene. Jessica said she felt safe around me. I didn''t want to lose that. I sat on the edge of a nearby seat, ready to jump into action if Mr. Peterson suddenly became Mr. Pod-person. It was as close as I could get without getting in Jessica''s way. She was tracing wires and separating sensors and draping them on the machine. As much as I had to question the truth of everything Sori said¡ªhe was just so unreliable¡ªI hoped he was right about my regaining my voice with that magic Shadow. "You didn''t see Alice''s sister over here messing around, did you?" I could only tilt my head back and forth like a confused dog. "It''s just so strange. I suppose it''s possible he woke up and did it himself?" She said. I couldn''t say if that was possible or not for someone without an Aura. It had been a while since I felt any kind of certainty about what was possible. Six months earlier, I would have been confident saying none of this was possible. A few days of impossible things had left me feeling disconnected from reality. Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings. I knew there were still patterns and limits. I knew it was still possible to learn about the world around me. Alice had proved it by leaving herself notes over loops. Even with just the hints of memories that she had, she''d managed to learn and adapt to our new reality. Even Crowseph wouldn''t be a budding hive mind if he hadn''t discovered some foundational truths of this world. And Hands would be a regular Dolphin, not a master of illusion and murder. Even so, my world had been a lot more certain just yesterday. It reminded me of a quote from an English worker in the 1850s before education was widely available. It was something like, "What do I know about the sun? It must be closer than the moon since it''s warmer." I felt like any guess I made, let alone anything Sori told me, was about as informed as that person''s understanding of the sun. What do I know about possible? It must be the same as the impossible; they both seem to happen. My worldview had crumbled before, more than once. To an extent, I saw value in it. If you don''t discover your life is built on shifting sands at least once, how could you ever learn appropriate skepticism of strongman certainty? I''d learned to doubt bare-faced statements of ''fact'' without sufficient supporting evidence. None of that changed how terrifying and painful it was to find yourself tumbling through doubt, looking for anything to depend on, to ground yourself. My certainty was gone again, and I had to expand what I thought was possible or likely. So sure, maybe Mr. Pod-person had disconnected himself and then gone back to sleep. Or perhaps some alien or other impossible being had possessed Maebe and disconnected Peterson. Or maybe she just woke up confused and disoriented and disconnected him as part of that confusion. Someone had been in the room with me when I first came to, but I''d assumed that was Nia. Now, I wondered if that had been Maebe. Jessica pulled out a pen light and flashed it in Peterson''s eyes, looking for doctors-know-what. If the guy did wake up, one of the first things he''d see, after blinking the spots from the penlight out of his eyes, would be a glowing werewolf in a doctor''s coat. If his mind wasn''t empty, that would probably freak him out or at least confuse him. Either way, it might be best to put on a glamour. Empathizing with someone I never met wouldn''t give me the best results, but we''ve all woken up groggy. Inspired by the feelings of uncertainty and doubt that were plaguing me, I decided to apply that to myself. The goal was to make Peterson think I was a delusion, at least in part. Usually, it might be a bit ambitious, but Peterson should be groggy and unsure¡ªif he was aware at all. I would just be one more confusing piece he couldn''t make fit. If Denis was in here with us, it probably wouldn''t work, since Denis never stopped giving me the side eye. On the other hand, Jessica wasn''t nervous about me in the least. Mr. Peterson would hopefully focus on her and other reasonable things and ignore me. I was betting his confusion would make him grasp for certainty. I was already wearing a doctor''s lab coat. Looking around, I saw a clipboard used by families to fill out paperwork while their loved ones fought for their lives. I could pretend I was filling out Mr. Peterson''s chart while Maebe checked on him. He''d be confused, and I''d try to amplify that confusion. I''d play into the doctor role. With luck, he''d either think I was a total delusion or at least that my werewolf appearance was. Of course, he''d have to wake up for that to matter. Jessica was checking his vitals and gave me a bemused look when I grabbed the clipboard, but didn''t say anything. Mr. Peterson wasn''t waking up or reacting to her exam, so my preparation seemed to be for not. Then, the streaks of light streaming a few at a time into Mr. Peterson started to come quicker, less scattered. They began to focus. Though fewer in number, the new strands were uninterrupted streams of light with the thickness of kite string. I lowered the clipboard, the hackles on my neck rising. Something was about to happen. Jessica looked at me with a questioning look, but my eyes were locked on the Drone, looking for any movement. Something slammed into the wall outside the room, making both of us jump. Dread rose in me as a long, slow scraping sound came from outside the room, as though someone had dug their nails into the plaster and was dragging furls behind them as they slowly moved down the hallway toward the door. Jessica and I were frozen, my stomach dropped, and my heart raced. "The door," Jessica hissed. Her voice was quiet but high and tight with stress, kicking me into motion. I threw myself across the room toward the door. I could almost feel the malevolence through the wall as I raced past the spot where the scraping had reached and crashed into the door, just as the handle began to turn. Jessica screamed as I fumbled with the deadbolt, which slid into place just before something banged into the door from the other side. "Sam!" Jessica screamed just as I was about to breathe a sigh of relief. I''d been distracted. Whipping around, I saw Pod-patient had sat up and grabbed Jessica by the wrist, but otherwise, he was just looking straight ahead. Fucking Denis. --== 40 Mr. Peterson ---=Chapter 40: Mr. Peterson---= The waiting room door rattled in its frame, its handle jiggling ineffectually as something tried to get inside. I had to hope the door would hold against whatever fresh hell was trying to get in, because the fucking drone had woken up and grabbed Jessica by the wrist. She was trying to pry up Mr. Peterson''s fingers; pain from his grip had her wincing even as fear had her watching the door. I hurried across the cramped room as quickly as possible but was almost stymied by how I could help. Pod-person was gripping too hard to let me pry his fingers up, at least not without doing damage. If I tried, I''d risk digging into Jessica''s arm with my clawed nails. Next to me, Jessica''s breath was coming in quick and ragged; she was on the edge of hyperventilating, clearly fighting a fair amount of pain and fear. Behind me, the door shook under repeatedly blows, and Jessica''s face went white. "Sam, Oh God, it''s after me. I can feel its hatred. Oh Lord, Please. What about the others? Sam, please!" her voice was quietly panicked as she continued trying to pry at the fingers indenting her flesh. I joined her efforts and carefully got a finger under Pod-person''s pinky and began to lift; as I did, he tightened his grip, and Jessica nearly collapsed from the pain. Even then, the drone just sat looking straight ahead, not moving. "Ow ow ow!" Jessica groaned between clenched teeth before closing her eyes and taking a deep, steadying breath against her panic. Jessica opened her eyes with her breathing under control, if still shakey. She started probing around the patient''s upper arm near his elbow. Then she applied pressure to a spot and used her leverage to twist her arm free of a suddenly loosened grip. As soon as she freed her arm, Jessica let out a shuddering breath of relief as she backed away. There still wasn''t much room, so she jumped up on the row of chairs we''d been sitting on against the wall and moved so I stood between her and her patient. "Mr. Peterson?" Jessica asked. "Can you hear me? George?" Standing on the chair, Jessica was almost the same height as me. The unceasing sound of a body slamming into the exit kept her close, and she put her hand on my shoulder to steady herself and maybe for reassurance as well. Pod-person finally turned to look at us, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. His face was still blank, and his eyes trailed behind as his head swiveled to look at us. His eyes were still unfocused as he pushed himself up from the gurney and stepped toward us, forcing us to back up to keep our distance. I didn''t want to swing at a guy who didn''t seem in control of his actions. Plus, I doubted pain or fear would slow him, and I definitely didn''t have it in me to break his legs or anything to stop him, even if Jessica didn''t interfere. The room was small, and there wasn''t much space to retreat. Apart from the exit, which was currently under siege by some unknown thing with too much determination, the only other door led to a bathroom. Retreating into a tighter space with even less chance of escape seemed like a poor idea. At the same time, the drone was slow-moving, and the waiting room door seemed to be holding against its attacker. "Mr. Peterson, you need to lay back down," Jessica said, putting the authority of a medical professional into her voice. The drone didn''t show any sign it noticed. I didn''t want to hide in the bathroom, but maybe we could trap the drone in there instead. The bathroom door opened outward so a chair could hold it closed. As we backed up, I swiveled the gurney I''d woken up on to block the path and keep the drone at bay. I braced the gurney, expecting Mr. Peterson to push against it. If I could, I''d use it as a bumper to guide him into the bathroom and have Jessica slam closed the door. Podperson hit the gurney and shoved, sending me back several paces before I regained my footing. I wasn''t exactly weak, and bruising was already showing on Jessica''s wrist. He was clearly stronger than he looked, and more than ever, I didn''t want to grapple with him. Still, he wasn''t wily. I didn''t need to out-muscle him, just outthink him. "Mr. Peterson. Please. We need you to wake up. Can you hear me?" Jessica said from behind me, fear still very present in her voice. I didn''t expect Jessica to wake him up, mostly because I wasn''t sure he was still in there. Then again, what do I know? Mr. Pod-person reached the gurney and shoved against it again. More prepared this time, I''d braced myself and absorbed most of his efforts. I also angled the gurney to guide his forward progress toward the bathroom. This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it. I managed to catch Jessica''s eye and looked at the bathroom door meaningfully. Unfortunately, she didn''t understand my plan. She opened the door and, holding her injured wrist, ducked inside. "Hurry, get in!" she urged, looking between the drone and the rattling door holding off the unknown enemy. I was distracted trying to figure out how to get her out of the way when the gurney suddenly lifted, and I found myself flying into the wall beside the bathroom door. "Sam!" Jessica yelped in concern, leaving the bathroom to come to my aid. I shook my head to clear my vision, sure the drone would be right on top of me. I''d underestimated his intelligence. He didn''t come for us; he went for the locked door. He still wasn''t moving quickly, but I couldn''t stop him from opening the door. I could, however, make my move before either enemy was ready for me. "Sam, Come on, get up. Get to the bathroom." Jessica hissed urgently. She expected help was going to come. And maybe it would. But I doubted it would be in time for us if we trapped ourselves in there. I didn''t believe for a second that the cheap bathroom door would hold up to the battering the other door was taking. The waiting room door was clearly installed with consideration given to security, probably due to the rising number of active shootings. The bathroom door, on the other hand, was just a meager privacy measure. Even if someone was near enough to help, I doubted we could hold out long enough for it to matter. Shaking my head again to focus, I stood up. Jessica trusted me¡ªfelt safe with me. I didn''t want to lose that. I could at least make a path of escape. Whatever happened after that, at least I knew I wouldn''t stay dead. "Sam!" Jessica yelled as Mr. Peterson opened the door, and I rushed forward. I ducked my head down and charged low. I hit the drone in the lower back, planning to knock it into the creature on the other side of the door. So far, monsters had all been smaller than people¡ªif I excluded myself anyway, which I did. The Gremlins also had their giant mode; I''d just have to hope that was a unique ability. My shoulder plowed the drone through the opening door and into a white and black feathered creature before we all slammed into the ground. I scrambled to pin Podperson George down on top of the hissing creature. It had patchy white feathers that were outlined in black. Pale pebbly gooseflesh showed through in bald spots, and a grotesque face with features of both rat and bird snapped at me. Its face was pointed almost like a possum''s, but its mouth was lined with a thin black beak that resembled lips. When it opened its mouth, I saw the beak was lined with sharp teeth meant to shred its prey. It''s eyes were a blazing red and looked at me with hatred. The drone was between it and me, and I could probably keep them down for a brief window. It was hard to tell from my position atop the pile, but the trauma monster was the biggest I''d seen yet¡ªif only about half my size. It also had the strongest green aura I''d seen of any creature except for maybe Crowseph. I looked over my shoulder to catch Jessica''s eye. She was still standing in the bathroom door. I couldn''t hold them both down forever; I could already feel the rat squirming. If Jessica was going to run, this was the best chance I could give her. I didn''t know what the crow rodent¡ªCrowdent¡ªwas capable of. Despite being significantly smaller than me, I was sure anything that ended up in its mouth would be torn to ribbons. Mr. Peterson had also chucked me pretty hard against the wall. I wasn''t in a position to stop either for long. Crowdent was almost certainly the trauma monster that Crowseph spoke about. If not for Podperson''s actions, this could easily have been a simple unlucky encounter. Jessica had said the creatures were trying to break in and had been chased off more than once. I wouldn''t have been surprised if one found a way in. Considering the drone''s actions, this had to be intentional¡ªplanned. I had just been killed by a drone, and now here was another one causing me trouble. Someone was behind this, but even if I died, I wouldn''t forget this. For me, pain and temporary death were the biggest costs. Jessica could end up losing her free will and joining Crowseph''s hive mind¡ªthough I was foggy on the details. Jessica held my eyes for a moment of indecision. As I looked away and pointedly down the empty hall, she took a sobbing breath and made a break for it. "I''m sorry," she sobbed as she rushed past. I just breathed a sigh of relief and hoped the other trauma monster wasn''t waiting nearby, ready to ambush her. I wrestled against the drone and monster, trying to prevent either from getting enough leverage to push me off as Jessica ran. The drone kept trying to get his arms and legs under him, but I was holding his arms down and spread out, and I used my feet and knees to keep him from getting his legs beneath him. I hadn''t done wrestling since middle school, but I remembered a little, enough to keep the mindless drone down for a moment. There wasn''t much I could do about Crowdent except to keep Podperson pinned atop it as long as possible while Jessica slipped away. --= 41 Get Back Here! --=-Chapter 41: Get Back Here!--=- Being trapped between the drone and the floor apparently pissed off the crow-rat-monster. I could feel its wriggling against Podperson as it tried to escape. It leveraged its feet between itself and Peterson and began to kick and rake the drone''s stomach with powerful kicks with its clawed feet. The drone''s whole body tried to contract when the creature started kicking and scratching, but he didn''t cry out. I had to fight to keep Peterson''s limbs splayed out while he struggled to lift himself off Crowdent. For the briefest moment, he pulled his arms free and leveraged himself up from the attacking monster. The next moment, I wrenched his supporting arm back and stole his balance, causing him to faceplant. The damage was already done, however, and the feathered rodent managed to finish kicking itself free, its feet and body red with blood from the rents it had torn in Mr Peterson. It stood on hind talons as it freed itself, a long tail flicking against the ground in agitation. Its patchy white and black feathers revealed pale, dry skin¡ªas though it had mange. Its body was that of a crow, but its legs and wings were beefy, and dexterous-looking rat hands hid in the underside of the wings. It also had a swishing feathered tail; if not for the pointed rodent ears and long whiskers, it could be mistaken for a dinosaur. Blood covered its talons and lower body, but with the green light of the thing''s aura, the blood looked almost black, with dark red highlights. Crowdent hissed, its winged forelimbs raised as though ready to grapple with me. It leaned forward, its tail extending backward for balance as it prepared an attack. I scrambled up off the drone and jumped back a few paces; I didn''t have anything to use as a weapon. Anybody who saw this scene without context¡ªa seven-foot-tall hulking werewolf facing a three or four-foot-tall bird monster¡ªwould probably put their money on the werewolf. As that werewolf, I have to say it didn''t feel nearly so certain. Slender Hopper was less than half that size, after all, and it had still managed to maul me to death more than once. I''d had to abandon pinning Mr Peterson, but he hadn''t moved, so he was either dead or his metaphorical strings were cut. Behind the rat, I saw Jessica disappear around a corner into an operating room. I hoped she knew where she was going. I was pretty sure there was another exit from that room on the other side of the building, but I wasn''t sure why she hadn''t used the hallway she''d run past. Maybe she''d just wanted more doors to use as obstacles in case she were followed. Regardless of how things appeared, I was a monster in body only, and I''d really rather run away or chase it off than fight it. The fact that those weren''t really options I could take, since it would just put others in danger, didn''t change the fact that I still didn''t have much practice listening to my killer instinct. Then again, so far, Crowdent had been knocked to the ground, gotten trapped, and disabled his presumed ally to gain freedom a little quicker. Its own instincts didn''t seem to be doing it any great favors either. We stood that way for a moment, both waiting for the other to make the first move. Then, Crowdent whipped around, its tail swishing past my face as it did. I jerked back in surprise and made a clumsy grab for the tail, but Crowdent wasn''t attacking, and I missed. If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. Turned away from me, Crowdent leaped forward, going down on all fours, and began galloping down the hall toward the operating room Jessica had disappeared into. After a few steps, it leaped off the floor, spread its wings, and glided quickly away. I didn''t know if it was running in fear or chasing after Jessica, but either way, I didn''t have much choice but to chase after it. I didn''t make it far. I''d no sooner jumped over Mr. Peterson than he grabbed my leg and pulled, tripping me. I fell flat on my face, barely catching myself with my hands and knees rather than doing a belly flop onto the hard, tiled floor. I reflexively kicked out at the drone to shake free his grip, but his unnatural strength let him hold on. I looked up to check if the rat would turn at the intersection or if it would keep running straight. Not only had the rat gone straight, following Jessica''s path, but it had a significant lead that was fast growing. Its gliding gallop was taking it further and faster with each leap, outpacing what I could manage. More importantly, it was outpacing what Jessica would be able to manage. I hoped she had a plan or reason for going into the operating room. Not willing to leave her on her own, I kicked the drone in the head, hoping it would make him loosen his grip. When it didn''t, I kicked him several more times. I kicked hard enough to hurt my foot, so I couldn''t imagine it was sunshine and daisies for Podperson either, assuming he felt pain. "Sam!" I heard a voice shout in alarm¡ªor maybe admonishment. It was Alice. "Shit, what''s going on," she asked, beginning to run over. She was coming from behind the elevators, and I wondered if she''d seen Crowdent chase Jessica past the intersection. At the sound of her voice, the strength left Podperson''s grip, and my leg was freed. I didn''t have time to stick around and play 20 questions, so I pulled my leg free, got to my feet, and started loping down the hall. "Sam!" Alice said again. A glance showed me that she''d flipped Mr Peterson over and saw the damage Crowdent had done. "Sam? Oberon? God Damn it- get back here! What the hell?" Alice yelled after me, but I wasn''t hanging around to listen or play pantomime. I was already halfway to the operating room Jessica and her trauma monster had disappeared into. Alice seemed fine. It made me wonder if she knew one of the trauma monsters had breached her defense. From how Jessica talked, the doors leading into surgery were all secured closed. She''d also said that ''demons'' were trying to break into the area and only barely being held off. When crowdent appeared, I''d worried that something violent had happened to the hospital''s defenders. Alice''s appearance and reaction suggested that the breach wasn''t of the assault variety. Crowdent must have snuck in. I was leaving Alice alone; I''d just have to hope her trauma monster wasn''t also sneaking around waiting to attack. I ran past the elevators and glanced down the hallway ignored by both Jessica and her pursuer; I didn''t see any reason they might have avoided running that way. It made sense for crowdent, assuming it was after Jessica and not running in fear, but I didn''t yet know if Jessica had a plan. What I couldn''t understand was¡ªwhy did Podperson open the door to let Crowdent in? It didn''t seem to view him as an ally, and it hadn''t gone well for the drone. I approached the door Jessica and the rat had slipped into. Alice had stopped calling after me, and a quick check showed she was trying to help Mr. Peterson. I could only hope she wouldn''t be too successful. If things had gone differently and the drone had attacked directly, we could have been sneak attacked by the crow-rat while facing the drone. I wasn''t sure how durable Podperson was; it had increased strength, at the least, and I didn''t think most people would have been able to hold onto me while I was kicking them. That suggested at least a bit of an increase in durability. Then again, from the glimpse I''d caught of Peterson''s abdomen, he didn''t look especially resistant to slashing damage. With luck, blood loss had overcome whatever increased constitution he had. I hoped he wasn''t playing possum again and just waiting for the right moment to strike. I''d really underestimated the thing''s intelligence before, but even he should have limits to his resilience. Looking through the sight glass of the operating room door, the lights were all off, but I could see a small room with an observation window. I didn''t immediately see Jessica or Crowdent, but there was a green glow I thought was from the monster at first. Then I realized it must be coming from the vortex wall that came down through that side of the building. I glanced back at Alice, still occupied by an unmoving Peterson. She looked up as though feeling my gaze. The only path forward was the one ahead of me. I briefly considered using a glamour on her. I''d assumed that they wouldn''t be much use against Podperson or Crowdent. Still, I could try to soften Alice''s suspicion toward me after seeing me kick her patient in the head. Hopefully, I''d have a chance for that later. I entered the operating room. --=- --== 42 Hello? --==Chapter 42: Hello?--== I walked cautiously into the dark observation room. The soft green glow of the vortex created shadows that could easily hide a person or monster from a casual glance. I doubted I''d even be able to pick out the aura of Jessica''s trauma monster with the background glow coming through the observation window. As I''d seen from outside, the operating room was divided into sections. I was in a scrub room with a hand-washing sink and various cupboards and cabinets, likely for surgical gowns and other PPE. I looked around for potential hiding spots. As I started to search, my biggest worry was that Jessica and Crowdent had simply faced through, exiting on the opposite side they entered. Jessica, at least, had ignored the hallway; I had to assume she''d come in here for a reason. Maybe she was after something like Denis''s tranquilizer or just a hiding spot. Likewise, I guessed Crowdent was also hiding, but probably only to ambush me when I least suspected. If they had just run through, they were getting away, but I really didn''t want to get jumped by the giant crow-rat. I''d need to take it slow and be careful, trusting that Jessica could regroup with Alice and the rest if she wasn''t hiding. They should be able to chase off the trauma monster by working together. Or so was my hope. The observation room had a few promising hiding places, including a glass and steel cabinet that held clean surgical gowns and masks. I tried to creep toward it, but my clawed feet clicked against the tiles, no doubt giving away my approach. The cabinet had double doors with glass windows. Despite the windows, it was too dark to know whether Jessica or Crowdent hid inside. I was pretty sure that Crowdent wasn''t smart enough to hide in a cabinet, let alone close the door behind it. Still, I''d just gotten several lessons on underestimating my enemies. Nevertheless, I thought it was much more likely it was hiding somewhere, ready to ambush me when I came close. With that in mind, I checked the shadowed spaces above and beside the cabinet before risking the doors. Finding nothing, I whipped open the closet doors. Nothing jumped out at me, and a brief search didn''t turn up any sign anyone had been there. I moved on to check the other smaller cabinets and crevices. I kept an eye on the surgical area as I snooped around the prep room, watching for movement against the backdrop of the vortex wall. Most of my light was coming from the glowing barrier that made up the far wall of the surgical bay. It was about as bright as a television screen, which is to say, not bright enough to let me see well. There were also a couple of safety lights, ensuring that if the lights were turned off unexpectedly, there would still be enough light to navigate the room. After a moment, I decided to turn on the lights by the main door. I''d initially planned to keep them off just in case Jessica and the Crowdent were hiding near each other in the shadows. Instead, I''d just have to react quickly and intervene if I inadvertently gave away Jessica''s hiding spot. As it was, with my blue glow and clicking nails, I wasn''t going to go unnoticed in the dark. While the same might be true for Crowdent, with all the metal surfaces in the room already reflecting the green of the vortex wall, picking out the monster''s glow would be a challenge. Turning the lights on, I kept my eyes keyed for any movement. Nothing happened. I looked around the surgery prep area again now that I had light, but there were only a few places Jessica could be hiding, and I quickly checked them. More spots could hide Crowdent, but that creature wasn''t my priority except to avoid a surprise attack. There were two doors from the prep room. One on the right side of the room went into the surgical bay. There was another door straight ahead that I knew from earlier held some kind of control room with a bunch of buttons and a microphone. That door didn''t have a window, so I''d have to open it blindly to see if the room was empty. Since I could at least see that nothing was sneaking up on me from the surgical bay¡ªvia the observation windows¡ªI decided to clear the control booth first. If I were Jessica and decided to hide, I''d probably choose that room. She might be able to bar the doors, or for all I knew, they locked. More importantly, if Crowdent followed or found her, the control room had another exit on the other side, so unlike the bathroom, she wouldn''t be locked in a deathtrap. The door wasn''t locked. I tried the handle first, being as quiet as possible, and it turned. Then I eased it open a sliver, checking for a deadbolt. When I felt no resistance, I pulled it open quickly, readying myself to react if a monster jumped out at me. This room was also empty. The room had a desk containing buttons and switches like a built-in audio mixer, presumably for surgical lights or equipment. Beneath the desk was really the only place to hide in the room. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website. The door leading back into the hallway had a viewing window, but I still poked my head out the door to be sure it was empty. I was starting to worry that Jessica had simply run through the prep and control room to slow down any pursuers. I couldn''t think of any good reason she''d have gone into the surgical bay to hide. Even when we were clearing rooms, we''d been very careful clearing the operating rooms. By which I mean I wasn''t allowed to enter. Something about me shedding and contaminating a sterile environment. The whole place would need to be bleached now that Crowdent and I had come through. I decided it was a problem that would be solved by the next time loop anyway. Closing the door to the control room, I looked through the window to the surgical bay. Everything was little more than a silhouette with the glowing barrier as backlight. I''d turned these lights on as well, but looking into the light of the vortex wall still made the rest of the room seem shadowed. I was nervous as I opened the door and entered the room. I had some reservations about getting near the vortex again. Waking up next to it had always been unnerving. I couldn''t help but think about the lives and limbs I''d seen lost when the barrier first lowered around Silicon Valley. My mind replayed the memory of Nia tripping and dropping Titus''s severed arm, and I shivered. I stood in the doorway, hesitating. This was precisely the kind of situation where being able to speak goes so underappreciated. I''d love to just call out Jessica''s name and listen for a response. Jessica? Crowdent? Sori? Hello? Unfortunately, either none of them were around, or none of them were psychic. Since deus ex machina in the form of surprise psychic-ness wasn''t an option, my only real choice would be to suck up my nervousness and look around. As I walked into the room, I kept an eye on the surgical bed in the center of the room. It was the most likely hiding spot in the room. It was bulky enough to hide Jessica and act as a barrier if she were discovered. Not a great barrier, since a Crowdent could probably just flutter over, but it would slow down a drone like Mr. Peterson. I hadn''t made it more than a few steps from the door when I heard a metallic ratting behind me and turned just in time to see Crowdent jumping at my face from a ceiling vent. It hissed as it struck and dug its talons into my muzzle. I panicked and grabbed fistfuls of feathers. Somehow, I managed to get a hold of it well enough to fling it off me and onto the floor. I lost my balance as I did and fell against the operating table. Crowdent hit the ground and rolled once, spinning to get its feet below it and facing me again. Once more, it leaped straight at my head. I got an arm up to protect my face, but it didn''t stop Crowdent from getting a hold of me again. It dug in its talons, and the clawed hands that emerged from under its wings. The pinching didn''t hurt as much as the maw of Slender Hopper, but then it bit down on my shoulder with its tiny, jagged teeth, which hurt considerably more. I would have roared in pain if I could. As it was, this was a nearly silent fight, with only my heavy breathing and the occasional hiss or growl from Crowdent. I pulled the creature off my head, but it grappled my arm by surprise and scurried back to my neck before I could stop it. I grabbed for its tail in sudden inspiration, planning to swing it like a flail into the surgical table. Unfortunately, I only managed to stumble blindly around the room, completely unable to get a firm grip. Whenever I thought I had a hand on it, it wriggled free. My fear nearly had me falling through the vortex wall before I realized where I was. I was only feet from the barrier. Crowdent had gotten on my face again, and I only saw it from the corner of my eye. Gripping the crow-rat by the scruff of its neck, I tore it off of me and chucked it into and through the vortex barrier only feet away. --== 43 We Have Concerns ---=Chapter 43: We Have Concerns---= If Crowdent was anything else, I would be sure that that was it, that it wasn''t coming back after going through the destructive green barrier. Even Nia''s trauma monster, Tickles, didn''t keep attacking after I chucked it into the vortex wall. Still, I was on edge as I sat there panting and holding my bleeding wounds. Maybe it was just the adrenaline coursing through my body by my racing heart, but I wasn''t going to take it on faith that the battle was over. I held my wounded shoulder with my left hand and used my elbow to protect my throat in case the monster crow came leaping back through the vortex at me. I used my free arm to get back on my feet before carefully backing away from the glowing barrier. As I backed up, I searched behind me with my free hand. Only when I found the operating table and put it between myself and that threatening glow, did I relax enough to look around again. I still wasn''t convinced Crowdent was dead. The aura of the trauma monsters was too similar to that of the vortex wall for them not to be related. On the other hand, they weren''t alone in sharing the green glow of the vortex. Everyone except for myself and Sori had that same aura; it was just brightest on the monsters like Crowdent. Still, I wouldn''t take it for granted that the vortex was as dangerous to them as it was to people. That said, there was no reason to believe the trauma crow was the only threat nearby. After all, it had come from somewhere. It was entirely possible, likely even, that Crowdent wasn''t the only monster to breach the perimeter we''d made. As strong as Crowdent was, it hadn''t been able to break through the locked waiting room door on its own. Which meant there could easily be other monsters stalking the area. Either that or someone let it in. Or both. Alice hadn''t seemed haunted when I saw her, at least no more than usual. She looked more tired than anything, not like she was the last survivor of a violent assault. Hopefully, that meant the monsters hadn''t broken through in a surprise attack. It was time to regroup and find out what happened since Denis drugged me, but¡ªfirst things first¡ªI needed to finish looking for Jessica. I wish I could say my only motivations for looking for her were care and concern. I definitely did care and was concerned. Of everyone, Jessica had always treated me with the least amount of fear. I hadn''t realized how essential that lack of fear was for feeling human. Denis showed me first by attacking me for no other reason than ignorant fear. It was dehumanizing, and that fear immediately spread to the others as they worked to save me from fear of my reaction. When I''d woken up, I''d felt exceptionally isolated. Then Jessica came in and cried on my shoulder, driving the point home harder. I''d been seen as a dangerous ''other,'' only Jessica defaulted to treating me as a person first and foremost. That kind of trust mattered; it was more than enough to make me search for her. Crowdent or no, Jessica could still be in danger. She''d said the monsters had already needed to be fought back a couple of times. Well¡ªshe called them Demons, but if she could forgive my monstrous appearance, I could forgive her a little ignorant superstition. Besides, it wasn''t like I could be sure they weren''t demons. My money was on some kind of interdimensional alien¡ªnot that money likely had much value in a post-apocalyptic time loop economy. They were pretty stupid, though, so I doubted it was an alien invasion, so much as the result of two universes touching or something. Then again, the monsters could be some alien weapon that manifested fears of those trapped in the vortex. The point was, even if Crowdent was dead for this loop, there was every reason to worry it hadn''t been alone. If nothing else, Alice''s trauma monster had probably come with it. If Tickles and Slender Hopper were any indication, they weren''t exactly picky about their prey¡ªhowever they came to be. Yet, as real as the risk to Jessica might be, and as worried as I was for her, it wasn''t the only reason I needed to find her. Mr. Peterson was probably dead, and Alice had seen me fleeing the scene. I''d left her behind to clean up a mess and piece together the truth of what happened. Proving my innocence would be a pain in the ass without Jessica to explain what had happened. Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon. I was already storyboarding the events in my head in case I needed to come up with something. Without Sori''s help, I couldn''t write any words, and there was a chance I''d mess up facial expressions or other body language. There had been more than one occasion Sori had to point out incongruous elements to me. For example, when I''d drawn myself becoming a werewolf, something I didn''t actually remember, I''d accidentally drawn myself wearing an excited smile. Now, I''m not saying the idea of this new reality wasn''t exciting to a degree. If I ever got a second to stop and appreciate living in a time loop, I might enjoy the crap out of it. Time loops were a staple of genre fiction and were supposed to be a chance to explore and grow without lasting consequences. That hadn''t been my experience. Or at least it never felt that way. Dying hurt and was terrifying even when I believed I wouldn''t stay dead. The loops were unpredictably predictable, with memories persisting completely for some and only vaguely, if at all, for others. Plus, I hadn''t even lived through the whole loop yet, and I''d still gained enough nightmare fuel to last years. As tired as I had become of the close-minded certainty so common in my part of the world, I doubted I''d gleefully watched myself turn inexplicably into a glowing blue werewolf. Instead, the grin I''d drawn was just another example of whatever was going on in my head to fuck with my communication skills. Just one more hurdle to overcome. The surgical bay didn''t have many hiding places, especially since the operating table had been disqualified. After checking the few remaining nooks and crannies, I looked around the room. Someone would definitely need to scrub this room before using it again, or would if the day didn''t loop. Apart from fur and feathers Crowdent and I had torn free from each other in our fight, there was also blood smeared and splattered all over. It certainly hadn''t helped that I was still bleeding everywhere as I''d searched. Not wanting to linger too much, I grabbed a packet of gauze I found in a drawer. Pressing it to my wound and wincing, I walked out into the hall I''d come from and saw Alice sprinkling something white on the floor. With all the inexplicable craziness going on, my first thought was that she was using salt to draw a magic circle. It was only on a second look¡ªwhen I noticed Mr. Peterson''s body had been covered with a sheet and moved off to the side¡ªthat I realized she was cleaning up the blood, not performing witchcraft. Probably. Using a glamour on Jessica hadn''t been necessary, and Sori said they wouldn''t work on the monsters or drones. I wasn''t sure I shouldn''t use one here, though. Alice wouldn''t need me to tell her I was injured; my bloody and tattered clothes should do that well enough. That said, if I wanted her to feel sympathy rather than suspicion, a glamour could go a long way. After what she''d seen, I imagined she might be conflicted on what to believe. I wasn''t the biggest fan of the glamours¡ªsince they felt emotionally manipulative¡ªbut we each use the tools we have. Besides, I didn''t kill Podperson, even if it was a little my fault for using him as a shield. I focused on the uncertainty she likely felt toward me and then on my wounded condition and puppy dog eyes. I''m just another patient in need of help. I didn''t try to make her trust me. Instead, I just leaned on her sympathy. She''d stayed behind in an apocalypse, risking almost certain death, to finish surgery on a patient who might never know about her sacrifice. I had to believe the desire to help was there, even for me. Alice didn''t look especially happy when she looked up from what she was doing; she just gave me a brief flat-eyed look with no expression. I limped a little, even though my legs were fine, and gave her the saddest puppy-dog look I could manage. A tendril of blue light briefly connected us, and I saw her shoulders slump in a soft sigh. "Damnit, Sam. This isn''t good. We''re going to need an explanation about what happened here." With my free hand, I patted my lab coat pockets. I didn''t have my notebook and never found something I could use instead. It was a futile search; if I''d had a script pad or something, I would have noticed before now. Setting down her bag of powder, she gave me a lengthier look. "You''re a mess. I''m assuming Mr. Peterson didn''t do that to you. Bend down over here and show me that wound you''re holding." I winced as I pulled away the gauze pad I held against my shoulder wound. It wasn''t the only place I was injured, but it was the worst one. She didn''t wince or anything when she saw my wound; she just nodded and inspected a few other injuries suggested by the torn and bloody lab coat. "Alright. Come on. Some of these need stitches. I''ll fill you in on what you''ve missed, and you can get to working on an explanation. I''m going to be honest; we have concerns." ---= --=- 44 Follow Me --=-Chapter 44: Follow Me--=- I followed Alice into the patient prep area of another operating room. This one was just across the hall from the waiting room. Looking through the observation window, the room was very similar to the one I''d fought Crowdent in, even down to the signs of a struggle in the surgical bay. "Here, take off your coat and sit down," Alice said, pulling out an office chair for me. "We''ll need to shave away some of that fur to clean and stitch things up." This was where Alice''s surgical team had been when the vortex touched down. Every time the day looped, Alice found herself holding a memory crystal she''d ripped from a suddenly screaming Mr. Peterson. She pulled out the crystal just before his open skull healed and closed over it. The next moment, a monster spider appeared, which apparently led to a mess. I didn''t imagine getting stitches would feel nice, and I wasn''t sure it would be worth it. It wasn''t like there was any risk of an infection or bleeding out. The day would loop before a fever would have a chance to take hold. This was the latest into the day that I''d lasted, but according to Sori, the day reset at the same time each loop. Assuming he was right and not just speaking out his ass, there couldn''t be many hours left before the reset. It seemed like it would be a better use of our time to regroup. As far as I knew, there was still the other monster crow to worry about. Ultimately, it would take longer to explain what I thought than to just accept the stitches. Besides, whatever my insights into the situation, I didn''t want to be the random guy telling the woman doctor how to do her job. Better to avoid obvious cliches when possible. It was a bit delicate removing my lab coat. Blood was already drying the coat to the rents in my flesh, but I eventually peeled out of it and sat down in the rolling chair. Alice pulled out some supplies, including a pair of hair clippers and a notebook and pen. "Here, take your hand away while I shave this area. I know you can''t speak, but try to draw what happened." After washing her hands, she probed my wounds, taking the clippers to a few different spots. "Whoah, your skin is really black; I hadn''t expected that." The skin underneath my fur was so black that, if the clippers hadn''t left stubble, the shaved area would have looked like a hole in reality itself. She moved on. "I guess I should catch you up, too. After we made sure you weren''t going to suddenly stop breathing, we finished clearing most of the floor, except for the ICU and emergency room. It wasn''t long after that that we heard the sound of something trying to break through one of the doors." Alice said, speaking with a bit of a raised voice to be heard over the sound of the clippers. I did my best to draw quick sketches of what had happened to me, starting with sitting next to Jessica while she talked. "Here, scoot over next to that sink," Alice said. Nearby was a sink with shower head on a hose. I dutifully rolled myself next to it, and Alice gently rinsed the areas she''d shaved. "You should brace yourself. I need to scrub those wounds, and it will probably hurt worse than the stitches." She said as I began to relax. As a rule, doctors are not gentle when scrubbing wounds, and Alice was no exception. It hurt almost as much as getting shot, and I groaned at the radiating pain. It must have sounded like a growl because Alice pulled back her hands. "Hey now. Are we going to have a problem?" I tilted my head out of the way so she could have clear access. I also turned my head away in case she was nervous my wolf-snout would suddenly snap. It gave me the added benefit of being unable to watch her scour my wound. Nodding, Alice resumed cleaning. Unpleasant as it was, it was done relatively quick. True to her word, when she started stitching, it didn''t hurt nearly as much, and I was able to resume drawing. I ran into trouble when I accidentally drew a speech bubble. I drew it without thinking about it, and it looked fine, but I didn''t have anything to put in it. Suddenly, I couldn''t remember how to convey that Jessica was talking in the picture. I could picture comics, but it was as though it was unclear which parts were associated with talking. Even the bubble itself seemed like just a random blob. Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit. I decided to move on and consider how to convey the events around Mr. Peterson letting in the demon. My mind went blank. I couldn''t come up with anything. I started to panic, suddenly terrified that my communication issues were getting worse. I tensed, my chest tightening and my heart racing in fear. Drawing was one of the few ways I could communicate; I didn''t want to lose it. Alice, not noticing my existential dread, kept talking. "We held off the attacks for the next few hours, but our doors were buckling. More than once, we had to chase the demons off. Then things went quiet. It was like the demons had given up on trying to get in. It only made us more nervous." She finished stitching the wound on my shoulder and covered it with a bandage. "Ok, ready for me to scrub the next one?" I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths, both to prepare for the pain and to clear my head of my crisis. The truth was, the feeling wasn''t new. I''d felt it before, more than once. Almost every time I looked at a blank page, I''d had a similar struggle, as though an unfathomable divide prevented my pen from reaching the paper. Communication wasn''t getting harder; this was just the same divide of uncertainty that blocked any project at some point. That was fine. Even if my struggle with communication had infected or co-opted the mechanism of my writer''s block, I had strategies against writer''s block, and I knew what the scene was supposed to be. I let Alice finish scrubbing a wound on my left arm before flipping to a clean page. This time, I used the page as a scratch pad to occupy my hands while I listened to Alice and let my thoughts wander. Alice continued. "Eventually, we got up the nerve to unblock some doors to see what we could learn. We couldn''t find anything in the immediate vicinity. That''s when Nia showed up. Since it was quiet, we sent Jessica back to keep an eye on you, Maebe, and Mr. Peterson. She needed a break; I could see she was on the ragged edge." The doodles were far from my best work and would probably be mostly meaningless to Alice. Still, by the time she stitched closed the first two wounds and started cleaning a third, I had several thumbnail sketches I could redraw. The idea was to just get something on the page, anything, even if it was terrible. Sometimes, you only need a concrete starting point, and blank pages aren''t that. As I began to redraw the doodles, I kept it simple, as I had with the comic I''d drawn with Sori. I drew the next best thing to stick figures, with pointed ears and a snout on the one that represented me and long hair on Jessica''s. I gave Mr Peterson large vacant eyes hashed through with a bunch of lines to show there was nobody behind the wheel. "I shouldn''t have let Nia stay. The demons came back. Thankfully, we got some unexpected help and managed to kill them. There was a moment¡ªbefore help arrived¡ª that the door buckled. I''d told Nia to run and hide. Anderson, Denis, and I were terrified, but all we could do was tighten our grip on our golf clubs and wait." In the first panel, I drew Podperson standing with his hand on a door that was swinging open, with lines to show motion. In the second, I drew the dog pile in which Crowdent gutted Mr. Peterson. Next, I drew it chasing Jessica while the drone held my foot, and finally, a depiction of throwing the trauma monster into the vortex. Each was minimalistic and missing a lot of context, but hopefully, they were straightforward enough that Alice would understand. "That''s when Jon showed up. The first demon poked its head through the barricaded door and got a bullet to the head. The other one was killed a moment later." I was excited to find out that, not only was Jon doing well, but he was with people who were working with me. Mostly. Reuniting with him might be tense at first, but between having Alice to introduce me and the comic to explain how I was really Sam, things might finally work out. I had to wonder if the monsters Jon shot were Crowseph''s trauma crows. Crowdent had been after Jessica and was clearly a crow-themed trauma monster, so it had to be one of Crowseph''s. There shouldn''t have been two monsters trying to get in unless there was another trauma monster I hadn''t seen yet. "In my relief, it took me a few minutes to realize I didn''t know where Nia had gone. The battle happened just outside the lobby by the breakroom. Oh, we killed the demon you were keeping in that closet. Sorry, I don''t know why you wanted it kept alive, but it was too dangerous to have at our backs. We checked the nearby rooms for Nia, and when we didn''t find her, we split up. I came to get Jessica and check on the situation. I guess I should have come sooner." "Alright. Well, we''re done here," Alice said as she finished bandaging her stitching. "Do your best not to stretch the skin there, or you''ll tear open your stitches." I handed the sketched comic to Alice; she took it to examine and nodded after a minute. "Ok. And Jessica?" I wasn''t sure where she was. But as long as Alice understood that she''d run away and I''d fought the rat, I didn''t need to tell her I didn''t know. Instead, I took the notebook back and drew a picture of the rat on my back biting into my shoulder. Then, I drew a picture of myself holding my shoulder while standing before a stick figure of Alice. Alice had pretty cute hair, with short sides and a longer puffy top, stylized with some product, if I had to guess. In my drawing, it mostly just looked like a Fro. It was a limitation of my quick and dirty line-art style. Something to work on, I supposed, especially if I was going to be stuck communicating like this for the foreseeable future. "You killed the demon, and then you found- I''m going to assume that''s me? Well, at least you weren''t flattering to yourself, either. Ok, well, hopefully, one of the others found her and Nia both. I need you to follow me, though. I''ve got a couple more questions." --=- --== 45 Oberon. Sam. --==Chapter 45: Oberon. Sam.--== I walked behind and to the side of Alice as she led me back to the hospital''s rear entrance. When we got to the lobby by my spawn point, she turned, as though to be sure I was still following, and gestured toward the exit. "After you." She had gotten quiet after bandaging my wounds, and the walk had been kind of tense. I still didn''t have a weapon, but Alice carried a club like she was ready to use it. It was understandable, considering we still didn''t know where Crowdent came from. I kept my own eyes open as I crossed the lobby. I hadn''t seen any sign of Denis or Anderson and wondered where they''d gone to look for Nia. Then again, Alice might have already sent them to wherever we were going. Walking through the automatic double doors, I almost felt nostalgic. For once, it had been more than a couple hours since I''d seen this place. I''d actually got a nap in since I was here last. The multiple assaults set aside, I''d had worse days. With Alice''s help and some luck, Jon and I could get caught up and devise a plan for future loops. If we were all meeting up outside, there might already be a plan, but whatever we did, I wanted to make sure Jon got a copy of the comic explaining my change. I needed a memory crystal or two to ensure the comic would persist at the start of the next loop. It was dumb not to take care of that earlier, but since I hadn''t killed Tickles or Slender Hopper, I hadn''t had a memory crystal I could use. Leaving the hospital made sense as a first step. Between Hands, Crowseph, and all the demons, it wasn''t exactly a safe place to be. The drawback was that visibility was shit outside. The Haze was present inside the hospital, but it was less noticeable. If you''ve ever looked up from cooking and realized the room had filled with smoke without noticing, you understand what I mean. Inside, the Haze was forgettable; outdoors was a different story. The shadowy shapes of cars and buildings disappeared altogether less than fifty yards out, but that wasn''t my main concern. The trauma monsters were all pale with a green glow. They would blend in almost perfectly in the luminous green fog. That said, if the monsters were caused by traumas, the hospital would only get more dangerous as terrified and injured people showed up. I''d say it was a miracle that we didn''t have more trauma monsters running around the hospital, but then the why of it hit me. Most people coming to the hospital would automatically go to the ER. How many had come looking for help, only to stumble onto Crowseph and become part of their swarm? That wasn''t likely to change as long as Crowseph haunted the hospital. I wanted to help. The hospital would be worth fighting for if it were just the trauma monsters like Tickles and Slender Hopper. It might be worth the struggle, even with Hands and the drone mystery. I wasn''t an expert in emergency response, but hospitals seemed like a natural rallying point. People would keep showing up here, feeding themselves to Crowseph. I didn''t have the shadow, though, so there wasn''t much we could do to permanently stop them. On top of that, Crowseph could shift into a behemoth or split into a large flock of crows. Even if we managed to gang up on them and use guns or something to hurt them, they could just turn into a flock and swarm us or scatter in retreat. Without my shadow to make it permanent, it would be a lesson in futility. But then, while I didn''t know who had my shadow, I could be reasonably sure it was nearby. Someone here was making drones, after all. Leaving Crowseph behind us would let them grow uncontested until they spread through the entire city. Potentially anyway. They were also after the shadow, and I couldn''t imagine that would result in anything but disaster. It might be safer to leave, and even knowing all this, I wasn''t entirely against the idea. Who knew what resources might be out there that could help us. For that matter, even if I didn''t have the shadow, someone was making use of it. There was no reason they couldn''t use it to defeat Crowseph. Then again, they were apparently using the shadow to steal people''s free will, so they weren''t much different from Crowseph when it came down to it, just less overtly dangerous. Either way, I understood why Alice and company would want to pack up and go. I was right there with them. Alice was hanging back for some reason, and I couldn''t see well enough through the Haze to tell where we were going. Looking back over my shoulder, she pointed toward the patrol car. It seemed like the Haze was getting worse. I was pretty sure I''d been able to see that far through the Haze before, but now it was just a shadowy splotch. As I walked across the parking lot, Jon and Anderson started to come into view next to the patrol car. My mouth automatically fell open in a doggy grin, and I sped up. Finally. For some reason, Anderson was in just an undershirt rather than wearing his scrubs top. "He doesn''t believe you''re Sam," Alice said from behind me. It took me a second to realize she meant Jon and not Anderson. It made me hesitate, but only for a moment. I could see why Jon would find it hard to believe, but I would just have to draw something that would only have meaning to the two of us. Maybe the layout of our apartment or some moment from our childhood. It shouldn''t be hard, at least not harder than what I''d already done, plus I wasn''t alone this time. As I got closer, Jon drew his pistol, and my doggy grin lessened. He didn''t point it at me, but he watched me with disgust on his face. Ok, he really doesn''t believe it''s me, I thought. "Oberon," Alice said. I winced at her dropping my real name for Jon''s sake. "I told you I had more questions. Can you explain why we found Maebe here, where you spawn?" "You forgot to mention, naked and covered in this creature''s fur," Jon said, anger evident in his voice. "Demon, what did you do?" Jon growled as he and Anderson stepped aside so I could see Maebe propped up in the driver''s seat, wearing Anderson''s too-large scrubs top. Caught completely off guard, my mouth fell open. "Look at it, it''s smiling," Jon sneered. "Or he''s surprised," Anderson said, looking embarrassed. I closed my mouth. Why the hell am I the suspect? Ok. She had some blue fur on her. That was weird, but she could have picked it up anywhere. I wasn''t exactly hypoallergenic. As far as her being naked and in my spawn point? I had only one idea: I was being set up. If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. I raised the notepad I''d stolen from the OR and pulled out my pen, trying to think of what I could draw to express my innocence. I drew a stick figure of a wolfman wearing a blindfold and then another one in which I was lying on a bed with a syringe sticking out of my chest. "He''s not even looking at her. He''s just making shit up." Jon said, contempt in his voice. The ass was jumping to conclusions and would make me work to prove my innocence. He is going to feel so dumb when he finally catches up, I thought as I sketched. "I''ve not seen him do anything but be helpful," Anderson said in my defense, bless the man. "Denis said it was keeping a demon alive. Why was that? You may have only seen it be helpful, but that doesn''t mean it''s only been helpful. It might just mean you''re blind. Wasn''t there another woman supposedly watching it? You don''t think we''ll find her in the same state as Maebe here?" Jon asked. Normally, he wasn''t this much of a jerk. But I could understand why he''d be on edge. "Alice, didn''t you say you would be bringing a patient out with you?" He added. Alice was quiet for a second, and when she spoke, I winced. "He''s dead. Disembowled by something." "And here''s something now. Something covered in blood and bandages. Sounds like a struggle to me. That''s what we call ''probable cause'' at the station." I needed to draw something else, something to show him I was who I said I was. Tearing the top page off the notepad, I handed it to Alice. It seemed straightforward enough. I was blind to what happened because I was drugged unconscious. I sketched our apartment''s floor map quickly, but without being able to label things, I wasn''t sure Jon would recognize it as ours. Flipping the page, I started again. "What was that?" Anderson said. Alice shrugged, "It looked like a floor plan for something, but I didn''t recognize it." "No, I mean in your hand," Anderson asked. "Nothing we didn''t know. He''s saying he was drugged by Denis. To his point, he was still by the elevators when I found him; he might have just woken up." "Or it was a ploy to make you doubt the obvious," Jon said before sighing. "Look, I think it''s great you guys are willing to see the good in everything. But this is the apocalypse. I''m out here looking for people that I can help. I''m even willing to concede that this demon isn''t as violent as the rest. But how long will that last? Even if this was somehow Sam, which I don''t believe, that would just mean the Sam I knew was gone. That," he said, pointing at me, "is a demon. They are violent and murderous. It''s their nature. If this one is smart, it doesn''t make it a person; it just makes it more likely it did that." he said, gesturing at Maebe. My chest felt tight at how he was talking, and my eyes burned without watering. I wanted to cry. I wanted him to understand. I wanted him to care, to want to care. As it turns out, it''s hard to come up with simple sketches that so perfectly encapsulate a memory that your best friend will immediately recognize you, even if you''re mute and monstrous. At least it''s hard to do when put on the spot. I sketched two of the characters from my webcomic. Jon should recognize them, and he knew they were loosely based on us. I gave one of them a police badge and drew them behind the wheel of the patrol car. The other I drew sitting in my seat and grabbing the steering wheel, just like I''d done at the beginning of all this. When I finally handed it to Jon, he frowned but took it after a moment. I''d been drawing on the hood of the car and hadn''t noticed that Denis had joined the group with an empty wheelchair and Maebe had been loaded up. Jon quickly scanned the picture, "No. I''m not doing this. Either you were Sam, in which case I''ve lost my friend already. Or you know something about what happened to them, which seems way more likely. Alice. I''m voting no. I''ve got to think about more than just one or two lives. There''s no way Kay or the others would let one of them in. Demon. Stay out of the hospital. Leave the area. Next time I see you, I''ll probably be shooting." Dude, what the fuck. Truthfully, I shouldn''t be surprised. Jon''s mind had always been impossible to change once he''d made it. "Sir, come on, I''m telling you, he''s a good guy," Anderson said on my behalf. "Denis over here literally stabbed and poisoned him, and Sam''s barely even glanced at him. If it were me, I''d definitely have hit him by now." I''d rarely felt such gratitude for someone. "And are you going to explain to pastor Kay that she shouldn''t worry about the Seven-foot tall werewolf that was the last one to see how many missing persons? One of which, by the way, is her 12-year-old daughter? You''re literally asking me to bring a wolf into her flock. As I said. No." "Alice, come on," Andersons persisted. "We''d be dead without his warning. You''d be dead and a part of Crowseph''s Murder." Anderson was my new favorite person. I looked at Alice with puppy dog eyes. Alice looked at me with an unreadable expression for a few seconds, but before she could speak, Jon interrupted. "Yeah. I know I said, ''I vote,'' and so you think you also get a vote. That''s a right you have to earn. We control almost the entire hospital. So I''m telling you all now, it''s not up to you. You''re all welcome to come back inside. The demon is welcome to take off, which is pretty generous considering what it''s suspected of." "Oberon. Sam. Do you know where Nia is?" Alice Asked. I took the picture I''d already drawn out of her hands. Next to the sketch of myself with the syringe sticking from my chest, I drew a smaller person wearing a large backpack and handed it back. That was the last I''d seen of her. "Alice. It doesn''t matter. You can either stay out here with it or come back inside without it." Alice glared at Jon but didn''t say anything. She instead just turned and started walking back to the hospital, the picture clenched in a fist. Denis followed after, pushing Maebe in the wheelchair. He''d always kept people between us and always kept an eye on me. I was not a fan. "Sorry, buddy,¡± Anderson said, patting my shoulder and walking back to the hospital. ¡°And thank you. You saved us. I wish I could do more than wish you good luck." Jon just raised an eyebrow at me and walked backward, hand on his gun, until he was out of lunging distance. Then he turned and followed the others back inside. Shit. --== 46 What Do You Want? ---=Chapter 46: What Do You Want?---= Shit fuck. Shit fucking donkey balls, God damn son of fuuuuuck. It''s fine. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. With a sigh, I slumped into the driver seat, watching my hope walk off into the swirling green haze. In frustration, I pulled off my eye mask, swearing again internally, and let them vanish into the fog. This fucking sucks, I lamented inwardly. I was the one who told them about my spawn point in the first place. Why would I incriminate myself by stashing Maebe in that spawn point, naked and covered in my own fur? It''s just stupid, especially since I was drugged unconscious at the time. I was pissed and heartbroken and desperate. Jessica was missing and still needed my help. Even if everybody else wanted me gone, Jessica had leaned on me, told me she only felt safe near me. I wasn''t sure that was still true after what happened with Podperson and Crowdent, but I still wanted to help. Needed to help. Anderson had defended me, too. I didn''t know if that was because he also felt safe around me or if he just saw me as a person and didn''t believe I should be banned out of fear. I couldn''t let myself be exiled. Jessica and Alice might be safe for this loop, but the day was almost over. On top of that, Nia was missing. Jon was just being stubborn and cautious because he felt responsible for a bunch of strangers at the end of the world, but it still pissed me off. He could be remarkably short-sighted when trying to live up to people''s expectations. My options were limited, though. Jon and Buck both had guns, and I was far from bulletproof. Alice''s group was also the only group who tolerated my presence. Crowseph and Hands had only played nice long enough to confirm I didn''t have the shadow. Aquarium Guy had already shown Hands was serious about not wanting me around. And Crowseph would have killed me if I didn''t have Sori''s shield buttons. I regretted that I didn''t have any now, even if they were still a mystery to me. Anyone I saw would likely be a threat if I went inside to look for Jessica. I''d already known I''d be a hard sell for Kay''s group based on my interaction with both Jon and Buck. Still, it was disappointing that Jon had so quickly changed his worldview to align with theirs. Then again, it made sense. This wasn''t like any end-times I''d ever heard of, but it was an end-times. The number of people who still had certainty about anything after the world ended had to be limited. Certainty, confidence, they''re always appealing¡ªeven if often overstated or entirely misplaced. Of course, the problem was I, at least, wasn''t a demon. Then again, the ultra-religious would probably blame my transformation on my rejection of my assigned gender, my agnosticism, or something else stupid. I wouldn''t have thought Jon would be taken in so quickly. Still, he was trying to protect a group of people at the end of the world, so I might be judging him too harshly. Taking risks probably just didn''t make much sense to him. Was he being overly judgmental? Yes. Was he letting himself be guided by fear? Also yes. But maybe that was understandable during a societal collapse. When there were inexplicable dangers around every corner, and the unknown so significantly outmatched the known, perhaps it was understandable to fall back on fear to make decisions. It definitely wasn''t new, and as an evolutionary trait, it wasn''t totally Jon''s fault. It was that same ignorant fear that enabled bigotry even before the world ended. While it might not be an excuse when that ignorance is a willful effort of those who refuse all introspection, it was something I could forgive in this situation. Still, he''d cut me off at the knees. I wasn''t eager to be shot again, and they''d made it clear they''d be watching, at least for the rest of the loop. All of Alice''s group were more-or-less forgetful across loops. The biggest concern would be Alice and her notes. She hadn''t said she''d be leaving herself a message about this, but it seemed likely. Jon and Buck also appeared to have at least some knowledge of events, so they might have their own method of retaining memories. All of which led me to a decision. Their chosen leaders had all made it clear I wasn''t welcome. My help wasn''t wanted. I was pretty sure my help was needed. You can''t make people do what they should. You can''t make them let you help. Sometimes, you just have to let people get hurt. The thing was, I wasn''t sure this was one of those times. They were supernaturally ignorant. Drunk people aren''t allowed to drive, children can''t vote, and amnesiacs can''t oust scary monsters who are just trying to help. That seems fair, right? I sighed. Whatever they wanted, I wouldn''t just walk away, even if my frustration made it awfully tempting. Stupidly, I found myself back at square one, alone in the car, outside the hospital, unsure what was happening or what to do next. Stolen novel; please report. I''d been unconscious for hours. That was plenty of time for someone to put Maebe in the patrol car and sprinkle some of my fur on her. God knew I was shedding enough of it. My list of suspects was pretty obvious. Hands, Crowseph, and Denis had all wanted me gone. Now, here I was, gone. Or at least, exiled. I would love for it to be Crowseph. He was already taking control of people through his convoluted crow conversion carousel. He was unquestionably the most openly aggressive threat. Hands was a mystery. He knew a lot more about what was going on than anyone except potentially Crowseph. He''d also already killed me for convenience once. This could easily be just another move of convenience. I didn''t understand why he wanted me out of the way, though, unless he was the one creating drones. He could make illusions, and his visualization crystals messed with the mind. So, drones would fit right in. Aquarium Guy also lacked an Aura, and I hadn''t heard any of his goons speak. There was every chance they were all drones. The only sticking point was that Hands already had them while claiming to search for my shadow. A sudden sharp pain in my arm pulled me back to the moment. I slapped at my arm, feeling as though I''d been stung. Rather than a bee, a tranq dart clattered to the blacktop outside the car. I swore, dizziness already disorienting me. God Dammit, now what? I asked myself as I pulled myself up from my seat to confront whoever was coming for me. However, I''d removed my eyemask and couldn''t pierce the haze far enough to see my attacker. Hurriedly, I pulled the mask back in place, but my fingers were going numb, and my urgency made me clumsy. On top of that, my breathing was becoming labored, and my world was spinning. I couldn''t imagine it was good for a body to be tranq''d so soon after waking up from being sedated. Before I got my mask in place, my disorientation cost me my balance, and I fell on my tail. I felt nauseated and had to swallow overly warm spit as I tried to focus through my resituated eye mask. Someone was walking toward me through the gloom. They were wearing all khaki and were holstering a tranq gun. Dude, you work with fish; why do you even have a tranq gun? I mentally asked Aquarium Guy. I couldn''t stand up or really do more than glare at Guy as he got closer. I didn''t know why he was here¡ªunless Hands had sent him to gloat. Then again, Sori had said he was a ''puppet,'' a drone. It was harder to see people glowing outside in the haze, but I was pretty sure that nothing had changed. His face was still blank, and he still didn''t seem to have an aura. So, what was the point of this? When he got close, he crouched down to look me in the eyes. I swiped a paw-hand at him, but there was no strength in it, and he easily pulled back out of the way. I sat there, breathing raggedly, hardly able to raise my head. fucking bastard, what do you want? Of course, he couldn''t hear my thoughts. Even if he could, it didn''t seem like drones could speak. Or at least none had yet. Still, I didn''t have to wait long to find out. Aquarium Guy pulled out a pair of scissors, and a chill went down my spine as he reached out and cut free a large handful of fur. I could only think of one reason he''d have for stealing a clump of fur. I''d been right. I was being intentionally set up. If Guy was here collecting more fur, they would try to pin something else on me. All I could think at that moment was that Jessica and Nia were still missing. If Alice and Kay distrusted me now, I could only imagine how much worse it would get if the evidence against me doubled, especially if Nia was that evidence. More importantly, it might not be too late to save them. Guy backhanded me across the muzzle, but it was more disorienting than painful. When my vision cleared, he was already walking away. My chest ached as my heart labored against the drugs coursing through my system. Still, they must have underestimated my resilience or something because I wasn''t blacking out. I kept breathing. I willed my heart to keep beating. I refused to let the day just end this way¡ªrefused to be used as a weapon against people who needed me. With a rumbling growl, I forced myself to my feet. Fucking Hands. Not this time. ---= --=- 47 Lets do This --=-Chapter 47: Let¡¯s Do This--=- I had to lean against the patrol car to keep from collapsing. My limbs were tingling, and I was having a hard time focusing. I shook my head, trying to dispel the brain fog and orient myself, but it just made me dizzier. I wasn''t going to let Hands just have his way again. He might not view me as a threat without my shadow, but I would show him I wasn''t a rug for him to walk on either. With a huff of exhaled breath, I collapsed into the driver''s seat of the patrol car. Whatever I told myself, I wouldn''t be beating anybody with a club or bat. Aqua Guy might not have used enough tranquilizer to knock me out, but my coordination and strength were sapped. I wasn''t willing to leave it there. I wasn''t willing to be framed for further abuses. And I wasn''t going to just stand by while they stole the free will and dignity of people who had trusted in me. I didn''t like guns. Before the apocalypse, I considered myself a pacifist. One day, maybe I''d be allowed to get back to that. This wasn''t that day. Unless something had changed, there was a shotgun in the trunk of Jon''s Patrol car. Most of the trunk had vanished into the vortex, but not all of it. Only around a third of it remained clear, but because of the angle, only about half of the deepest part of the trunk was cut away. With luck, that would be enough. The keys were still dangling in the ignition. I already knew the car wouldn''t start, but that didn''t stop me from trying again. We''d hit the van pretty hard. It wasn''t a surprise the engine wouldn''t turn over. Hopefully, the three wheels that hadn''t gone through the vortex were still aligned well enough that I could push the car forward. Strictly speaking, I didn''t need to move the car to get in the trunk, but I had no interest in stumbling around¡ªhalf-tranq''d¡ªinches from a wall of annihilation. My tingling limbs protested pushing the car, feeling far too weak to accomplish anything. I stood in the open door of the car, one furry hand on the steering wheel, the other pressed into the doorframe next to my shoulder as I pushed forward. My legs burned and barely felt up to keeping me standing, but inch by inch, I moved the car away from the vortex. It turned out the front passenger-side tire was flat and probably at least a little misaligned. Between that and the drugs weakening me, progress was slow. Eventually, I pushed it forward enough to reach the trunk without getting dangerously close to the vortex. The trunk latch and most of the right side were gone. If the case and mount weren''t so deep in the trunk, there probably wouldn''t be enough left of the gun to be of use. As it was, my luck was mixed. Most of the shotgun had survived, but the tip of the barrel was sheered away at an angle, leaving a sharp point. I had no idea how that would affect the shot spread, but at that moment, I was willing to find out. The other problem was that only four shells had survived outside the vortex. On the bright side, there was also most of a bulletproof vest. It would be small on me and was missing a bit of the right side. I wouldn''t be able to secure it with the velcro straps, but I knew Jon kept a roll of duct tape in the glove box. That should be enough to get me through. This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work. I''d hoped some of the stuff we''d packed might have also survived the crash¡ªif only because I had some keepsakes I''d miss if things ever calmed down enough for it to matter. Unfortunately, the bags had been loose, and the spin and sudden stop of the car must have seen them all roll into the vortex. Maybe it was for the best. I wasn''t sure if things ever would calm down at this point. Letting go of the world that was would eventually be a necessity. Hobbling back to the front of the car, I sat down and loaded up my shells. It was not the overwhelming firepower I''d hoped for, but it would have to do. Besides, there might only be four shells, but I''d make sure Hands understood I''d use those four shells over and over each loop until he learned not to mess with me and my friends or even my allies. Slipping out of my lab coat, I draped the vest over my head and used the duct tape from the glove box to secure it closed. As expected, it didn''t even reach below my rib cage. Still, my lungs and heart were mostly protected, or at least better protected than without it. If anything, they''d probably aim for the vest because it stuck out. Like drawing a dot on a blank piece of paper, it should draw their eyes. Or so my amateur psychoanalyzing suggested. Even if I was wrong, it wouldn''t change my actions. As ready as I could be, I considered my approach. Everyone who didn''t want me in the hospital would expect me to use the rear entrance. For one, it was right there. It was also the only entrance I''d used besides the emergency room entrance. A shotgun might be a good weapon against the hive mind swarm, or at least as good as I had access to, but Crowseph wasn''t my target right now. Maybe if it solved Jessica and Alice''s trauma monster problem, I''d try it, but I doubted it would. There were other entrances, though. For my purposes, the main entrance next to the parking garage fit the bill nicely. It entered on the first floor of the building, the floor that had the physical therapy pool that held Hands. The downside was that the chapel was also on that floor and pretty close to the main entrance, if memory served. I''d be dodging Jon, and Buck, and who knew how many others¡ªtrying to sneak past them to get to Hands. Jon had said they controlled most of the hospital, but I knew that didn''t include the ER. Presumably, Hands had at least as much space carved out for himself. No one else had so much as mentioned a dolphin, which probably told me everything I needed to know. According to Sori, Hands could create illusions. Considering he''d fooled me by pretending to be a man that appeared from nowhere, it seemed believable. It was possible he was similarly hiding his location. Or maybe there''d been a quiet war for territory going on a single floor below me. Considering how much attention I''d been getting, that seemed unlikely. I doubted Jon would have followed me out to the Gremlins'' hut that time if there''d been a secret war for the first floor in progress. At the same time, Hands''s goons had walked me down the stairs and across at least part of the first floor only a few loops ago. Of course, it had been early in the day, so Kay''s group may not have gotten organized yet. Either way, I''d have to make it work. Aquarium Guy had managed. Besides, there couldn''t be that many people still in the building. Alice''s group had stayed to finish a surgery. Nia had seemed to think her mom had stayed behind for religious reasons, believing it was God''s plan or the rapture or some such. Others, like Hands''s goons, Maebe, and Buck, I didn''t know why they''d been trapped. Perhaps, like Jon and I, they''d just been too slow, but there couldn''t be many like that in the building. I didn''t have enough shells to waste any scaring off Buck or Jon. I really didn''t want to risk that becoming one of the few memories that persisted anyway. I would just have to be quick and quiet and hope my aura didn''t give me away. While I wasn''t a fan of guns, Jon had insisted I knew some of the basics if we were going to be roommates. He only kept a pistol in the apartment, but we''d gone to a range, and he''d shown me how to load and use all the guns he''d been trained on. He wanted me to know how to disassemble and assemble them, too, but I had to draw a line somewhere. I knew the shotgun was pump action, and there was a place to load multiple shells. Three shells fit into the gun, and I''d put the fourth in a spot for it on my vest. The tattered lab coat would be staying behind, but I tucked the pencil into a pocket and slid my borrowed notepad under the vest itself. The seared-off barrel of the gun still concerned me, and I considered trying to use the vortex wall to sheer off more so it was at least flat. As it was, the muzzle was sliced off at an angle that left a sharp point. In the end, I decided against it. If I ran out of shells, I''d basically have a bayonet, if I could muster the strength to use it. Taking several deep breaths, I leveraged myself out of the car and rose unsteadily to my feet. Alight, let''s do this. --=- --== 48 Goddamn Illusions --==Chapter 48: Goddamn Illusions --== After passing the ER, I stuck close to the hospital wall as I circled around to the entrance. I started looking out for security cameras, just in case the screens were being watched by someone who wanted me dead or gone. There were more than I expected, and it wasn''t possible to avoid them altogether, especially by the parking garage and main entrance. I''d just have to hope that cameras weren''t being watched, at least not closely. I kept my shotgun pointed down but ready as I poked my head into the main entrance. Everything I knew about guns told me this was a terrible idea. How many times had I heard about people accidentally shooting their loved ones when surprised? How many times had I heard about police using deadly force because they were unnecessarily scared for their life? They''d at least had at least some training. My own morality and a limited number of shells made me determined not to use the gun on anyone except Hands and his goons. Yet, while the dolphin might stand out, the goons were just people and wouldn''t be easily picked out from anyone else. It also wouldn''t do me any favors if I stopped Hands from framing me for creating and abusing drones if I instead got caught on camera blowing a random guy to smithereens. I told myself it was a price I''d willingly pay to stop Hands, or at least stop him from enacting this scheme. I didn''t know why he was doing what he was doing. I didn''t know what he was after¡ªbesides my Shadow and wanting me gone. He''d told me there was nothing for me here, and then, as I was beginning to think I had a chance of making something, he stole that foundation out from under me. Jon may never have been eager to believe I was his best buddy, Sam. Still, if Jessica had been there and if Maebe hadn''t been used to set me up, I was sure our reunion would have gone better. Maybe that wouldn''t have changed anything for Kay''s group. I understood why they''d be scared. But if they didn''t have any victims to point to? I had to believe Jon would have been much more willing to trust me, to fight for me and with me. I was so close. It was just another reason to make sure Hands understood his actions had consequences. My first priority had to be ensuring Nia, Jessica, and the others were safe and stayed safe. There''d been no way for me to follow Aquarium Guy after he tranq''d me. I was weak, and my limbs shivered; even if I''d been able to keep pace with him, I wouldn''t have been able to stop him. I''d just have to hope my fur was collected for later use or that he had to check back in with Hands for some reason. My heart cried that I was already too late, that I''d already failed. For all I knew, it was too late when he took my fur in the first place. If that was the case, I''d just have to make sure I put fear in their hearts. I couldn''t undo what was done, but I could make sure they regretted it. I could take every chance they had to do it again. Checking the shotgun''s safety was on, I walked into the hospital. Thankfully, nobody ambushed me. My hands shook, and I didn''t think it was from the lingering drugs in my system. I was nauseated over what was coming next. It wasn''t just nerves either. I felt gross. Wrong. I was modeling behavior I hated. I just kept reminding myself that the people were all just empty puppets, and even if some weren''t, the day would restart, and they''d be fine, hopefully with a lesson learned. If I could regain my Shadow, I could stop Hands from making more drones, and with Sori''s help, I might be able to restore their minds. Like the rear entrance, a map was on the wall near the door. With a trembling hand, I traced the route I''d need to take to the pool. I had no voice. I had no memory crystals to create visualizations. I had no Sori-crow to translate for me poorly. I only had violence and death. I only had rage and could only create fear. It wasn''t who I was. It wasn''t who I wanted to be. It wasn''t the reality I wanted to live in. It was the one path afforded me that I could live with. People were being threatened, terrorized, and stolen away without mercy or compassion. I hate this. Heart thundering in my ears, I turned left, following the path I''d traced. I could only thank my lucky hearts, stars, and horseshoes that it was in the opposite direction of the chapel. That would hopefully make it less likely I''d accidentally hurt an innocent. The pool was close; at least it was close if I cut through some other rooms. From that admit area of the hospital, I walked through a door labeled as a lab. It was long and filled with tubes, microscopes, scales, Petri dishes, and four bathrooms for some reason. Passing through the lab, I reached a door marked "outpatient mammogram imaging," and I readied myself. If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. I took several deep breaths and prepared a glamour, taking the safety off the shotgun. The entrance to the pool would be across the room and to the left. If someone was standing guard, I''d need to be ready. I didn''t love the emotional glamours that Sori had taught me. Still, one of the button charms on the necklace was empowered with an illusion that would be useful for this assault. Terror. Since I didn''t have the buttons anymore, I''d have to do the illusion myself. My main target would be Hands, but if someone was guarding the entrance, I''d need to debilitate them quickly and preferably quietly. Opening the door a crack, I checked for guards and immediately felt stupid. In my nervousness, I''d not been paying close enough attention and accidentally opened the door to a bathroom. I sheepishly glanced at the cameras in the room. Now they had me on camera peeking into bathrooms, not a good look. I moved down to the next door and started psyching myself again. That room was also a bathroom. Why are there so many bathrooms in this lab? Are they just continually developing new laxatives? The map had shown four bathrooms, but I must have misremembered where they were. It would help if the labels on the door were accurate. Both of those doors had been labeled as entrances to the mammogram imaging. I wish I could say that''s when I figured it out, but it wasn''t until I checked the doors actually marked as restrooms that it dawned on me that something fishy was going on. Goddamn illusions. If Sori is watching, he must be laughing his ass off. Still, he''d told me visual illusions were easy to see through. I double-checked the first door. The bathroom was still on the other side, but as I began examining the details, the lllusion broke. It almost felt like I''d been dreaming about a bathroom, and when I started looking for incongruities, they popped out. Why did a bathroom need two plungers? What was the point of a mirror across from the toilet? The more I noticed, the more there was to notice. The faucet had three knobs, the toilet didn''t have a handle to flush, there was no soap or soap dispenser, and so on. I was pretty sure I''d seen all of those things in bathrooms before. But each oddity led to another, and it quickly became obvious it wasn''t a real bathroom. It was just an approximation of a bathroom, the dream of one. That recognition was all it took to shatter the illusion. Reality snapped into place like a magic-eye picture in reverse, allowing me to see the room beyond. I was lucky nobody was standing guard. The illusions must have been more effective than Sori claimed, or maybe Hands just trusted them more than he should. Either way, no guards raised the alarm about me walking through the illusory wall or shot me while I tried to see past it. I hesitated. The door to the pool and Hands was right there. Would Hands know I''d broken through his illusion? It seemed likely it wasn''t the only illusion either. How many could he do? How close did he have to be? What if the map had been an illusion? It was the writing on the doors that gave me the courage to go forward. When Hands had created the illusion of a bathroom, he hadn''t changed the sign. Hopefully, like a dream, that kind of detail was too difficult to get right. It could still be a setup, but I had to believe the labels on the map and doors were accurate. That would stop him from faking me out with other illusions. I''d just have to do my best to be sufficiently skeptical of everything I saw and probably everything I heard, too. After all, as a human, Hands had spoken to me. If that man had been an illusion, then his voice had to be as well. Hopefully, Sori was right that Hands was the dolphin. Not only was I banking everything on that fact, but Hands was my main target. I doubted my emotional illusions would do much to a mindless drone, which made me doubly lucky there hadn''t been one guarding the door. If the controller of that drone was terrified out of his gourd, though, his control would hopefully slip. I took several deep breaths. I had three shots, then I''d need to reload. With further luck, those shots wouldn''t need to be used on people. They''re just drones, I reminded myself. The door read "Physical Therapy Pool," and I could occasionally hear water churning on the other side. This was it. I could expect more illusions on my way in. I wouldn''t have time to see through them. I''d have to trust I could disrupt them. I wasn''t kidding myself. I knew this was very likely a suicide mission. I just needed to get to the pool to take Hands out. That should at least disrupt his plans. Whether or not I died, I''d be back when the day reset, and we could talk about why then. I also needed to keep an eye out for my Shadow, not that I had much of a description beyond its name. Hopefully, I''d know it when I saw it. If I didn''t die immediately, I might have a chance to reclaim it and solve several problems simultaneously. --== 49 Seeing Through Illusions ---=Chapter 49: Seeing Through Illusions---= After checking the safety on the shotgun was off, I gripped the handle of the door and took several quick breaths to hype myself up. I turned the doorknob, used my shoulder to smash it open, and bull-rushed in, bringing the gun up to my shoulder as I sped forward. Nobody was waiting to ambush me on the other side of the door, which didn''t mean I was alone. The pool water sloshed in agitation, and the two men standing guard over it shook their heads as though to clear their minds before reaching for their guns. Their motions were identical and in near unison. If I had a voice, I''d have been screaming as I aimed my gun and pulled the trigger. The sound was deafening in the tile room, sounding more like a bomb than a gunshot. Shot splattered across the pool''s surface in tiny eruptions of water, leaving the gunmen¡ªwell, the other gunman¡ªcompletely unharmed. Either my aim was terrible, which was entirely possible. Or I was still seeing illusions. Dammit, Sori, why did you tell me seeing through illusions was easy? Illusion or not, I didn''t regret the shot. I flared my prepared glamour. I hadn''t really been able to use my emotional illusional on more than one target so far. Mainly because each glamour needed to be attuned to my target with empathy. I suspected the terror glamour was different, at least in this context. Anybody scared of getting shot should be susceptible to my fear aura. That said, mindless drones probably wouldn''t be affected by emotional glamour of any sort, so I still made sure to target the dolphin. Sori, it better not have been bullshit that Hands is the dolphin. I thought while trying to imagine how this situation might seem to him. Hands knew what guns were; after all, he''d had me shot to death. I visualized the burning force of being struck by a bullet, the crimson red of blood in the water, and the terror of brutal destruction. I felt absolutely no connection. Then, I projected the cold and dark closing in on all sides. It was the sensation I''d felt each time I''d died. Finally, a whisp of blue light zipped from my head into the pool and made a connection to the dolphin. In that moment, I got the briefest insight into the creature. Born into captivity, Hands had heard the other dolphins echo stories of the ocean and the unfathomable black depths that hid unknown monsters. Dolphins could hold their breaths longer than people, but it was still measured in minutes. They could see with echolocation, but that would just make the endless fathoms of the ocean seem even more dangerous. Just as people had a natural fear of the dark, Hands, at least, had a natural fear of the depths, the depths that eventually claimed almost all dolphins. The death I''d felt again and again echoed sympathetically with Hands''s instinctual fear of the cold, dark press of the ocean depths. I pumped my gun as the moment passed and juked to the left as the two possible illusions opened fire. If the goons and their bullets were illusions, they were convincing. If they weren''t illusions, it didn''t seem my fear aura was affecting them. They stood in firing positions, legs spread, two hands on their pistols, unmoving from their spots in front of the pool. Their gunshots were almost as loud and more continuous than my single shot. The biggest indication that they might be illusory was the fact that I hadn''t been hit yet. Unlike me, neither goon was running for cover or trying to evade my shots, which could be another indication they weren''t real. Then again, what use were puppet-guards that ran? Two shots left till reload. Even if I ran out of shells, I''d have options. I couldn''t afford to think they weren''t real. Hands''s main threat came from his goons. So long as I took them out without dying, I should be able to deal with the dolphin. Just draining the pool should leave him in trouble. I ducked around some shelves holding various bits of equipment. It was far from bulletproof, but the concealment and deflection were enough to let the goons empty their clips without striking me. My ears rang from the echoing cacophony, so I didn''t hear their guns click empty, but the bullets stopped coming, and I took my chances. I came charging out from behind the shelves at the men reloading their guns. I didn''t wait till I saw the whites of their eyes, but I got close enough I was pretty sure I wouldn''t miss and pulled the trigger. The closer of the goons went staggering backward, half-thrown, and splashed into the pool. One shot till reload. Which was fine; my target was right in front of me. I cocked the shotgun and ejected the spent shell. Before I could line up a shot, the second goon, moving calmly and steadily, loaded a new magazine into their pistol, aimed, and fired, striking my vest twice and throwing off my aim. Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. My breath huffed out of me, and my chest felt like I''d been hit by a car. I folded forward, and my shotgun went off while pointing at the tile. The deflected shot was joined by tile shards, slicing into the goon''s pants and legs, sweeping his legs out from under him. Silently screaming my pain, fear, and revulsion, I hurried forward, pulling my weapon back to use the sharpened barrel as a spear. Hands''s magic-man form burst into existence between the downed man and me, but for once, I understood what Sori meant. I knew he wasn''t real¡ªbelieved it wasn''t real. My mind rejected the cognitive dissonance and dismissed the illusion as irrelevant. I squeezed my eyes shut, not to shut out the illusion, but so I didn''t have to see myself spear the man as I brought the point down. Before I made contact, water erupted next to me, and something slammed bodily into me. I crashed into the ground and rolled, my weapon clattering across the floor. Hands had leaped out of the pool and fallen onto me. I still didn''t think he was full-grown, but he weighed as much as an adult man. The collision sent me careening away from my attacker, and I scrambled to get my limbs beneath me. My left arm screamed at me in protest as I put my weight on it to get to my feet. I barely managed to keep myself from falling back to the floor, but the arm didn''t seem like it would cooperate further. Adrenaline had me looking around wildly for the goon. Hands might have caught me off guard, but I wasn''t worried about him now that he''d left the pool. It was a mistake. I spotted the goon convulsing on the ground by the pool, having some kind of fit. His gun was abandoned nearby. Things had gone to shit, but it hadn''t gone any worse than I''d expected; better, really. Or so I thought until Hands smashed into me again. I saw a blur of motion out of the corner of my eye and felt myself getting body-slammed a second time. This hit wasn''t as brutal, but I still smacked hard into the tile. My injured left arm ground grotesquely as I tried to catch myself, momentarily making my vision fuzz white in agony. When my eyes cleared, Hands stood over me, looking almost like a mini T-rex. He was balanced on two beefy arms, each leading to strong-looking hands. His tail was lifted off the ground, and his back was arched, raising his open mouth to the height of a man. His head was bent forward and twisted so he could see me in a display of flexibility I wouldn''t have guessed from a dolphin. He was glaring at me. "These are mine." His illusory voice said. Even knowing it was an illusion, I could still hear him. Besides, the sound might be an illusion, but the sentiment was real. I tried again to get to my feet, and he spun, his tail whipping around and smacking against my injured arm, sending me reeling. I huffed out a breath in another silent scream as I rolled across the floor. I could hear the slap of wet palms on tile as he ran toward me. My hand closed on one of the dropped pistols. I began to aim a shot when an arm snaked around my neck and pulled me backward, costing me my line of sight on Hands. It was the injured goon. He had an arm around my neck, his other hand slapped against my forehead, something hard pressed between his palm and my head. I struggled to get eyes on Hands, the pistol lifted in my good hand. I got off a single shot before a hand slammed my wrist to the tile, and one eye of the dolphin glared into my eyes hatefully. His other hand slammed down as a fist on my stomach, his whole weight behind it, leaving me gasping and gagging for air. "I told you, there''s nothing for you here. Your recklessness and ignorance are only outmatched by your arrogance. But fine, if I must, I''ll educate you on your error." I felt a searing heat against my forehead where the goon''s hand pressed something hard. Is it a memory crystal? Is Hands going to show me a visualization? Why does it burn? The glaring eye of the dolphin held my gaze as I struggled, and I felt the world around me begin to shudder. Everything became an indistinct blur. Sensation vanished. First went the pain, then the pressure, then all awareness of myself and the world around me, until all I knew was the dark eye of the dolphin piercing my soul. ---= --=- 50 Our Trauma --=-Chapter 50: Our Trauma--=- Jon was speeding across the parking lot, sirens going, racing toward the bottom edge of the vortex a football field away. We were too late. There was no way we''d make it out. Wait. What''s happening? The thought flickered through my head. "Jon, we''re not going to make it. You have to stop." Did the loop change? "No, we can make it. We''ll drive straight through." This can''t be a visualization; it feels real. It feels the same. "Jon, no!" I said. "I''ve seen what it does to people. It eats through anything in a second." Had I thought he''d listen? I''d known better. Jon had always been stubborn; he didn''t like admitting he was wrong. Instead of slowing down, Jon accelerated, trying to beat the vortex. "Everyone, get low¡ªit''s our only shot." It really was too late. I should let him try anyway. Maybe this is where the day will loop now. I grabbed the wheel and twisted it left, steering us into the parked van feet from the vortex wall. I didn''t mean for it to happen; I couldn''t stop myself. I wasn''t in control. The noise was deafening as the van buckled and the car skidded and spun, tossing us around as the back end careened into the vortex. I helplessly watched Titus be swallowed by the swirling green barrier. It was my fault. I knew we weren''t going to make it. I should have acted sooner. The car stopped with a lurch. Nia was screaming, and I was half curled into the fetal position, inches from the deadly barrier¡ªclose enough that I felt a growing static pull on my arm and the back of my neck. With a snap, energy pierced my hand, the tinfoil hat, and my head. Light flashed in my eyes, a pulse of vibration surged through me like a bass drop, and the world went dark. I BELIEVE THIS WAS THE MOMENT YOU BROKE THE APOCALYPSE. Hands''s voice echoed in my mind. What the Hell? I tried to look around for the source of Hands''s voice, but there was nothing to see, no sensation to feel. I was thought in a void. The emptiness became white noise, a static humm that quickly grew in intensity. It wasn''t really sound, or any one sense, or even just the main five. Every sense that I had or imagined I had buzzed and screeched, demanding attention, but had nothing to say. Then the world was back, my senses still. My old body knelt on the blacktop in front of me. I could feel myself bracing for something, but the sensation was distant. Waves of light flashed from the vortex; another thrum of bass disorientated my past self but ignored my disembodied form. I helplessly watched Jon and Nia fall prone to the blacktop under the disorientation of the light and sound and the weight of the Haze. YOU WERE ALREADY BREAKING APART, EVEN HERE. I still couldn''t see him. What is this? Where are you? I mentally called out. I couldn''t move, couldn''t breathe. I''d been confused and dazed then, thrown off kilter by the sci-fi noises and surreal events. From the outside looking in, things were clear. I knew what was coming. I don''t want to see this. YET YOU MUST. FACE IT. The light and silent thunder came again, and a portion lingered in the fog when the flash ended. A web of light danced in empty air, its form shifting like sunlight dappling the bottom of a pool. It looked like a wireframe model of an anorexic cloud made of energy. It started to grow, its branches of light extending, splitting repeatedly, like cracks in the fabric of reality. As the Web expanded, its light dimmed. It shattered and rebounded into three distinct light webs that quickly grew to the same size and brightness as the original. Then, they began to drift like seaweed in the tide, inexorably floating toward our immobilized bodies. As I''d known would happen, a tendril of energy shot from one Web like a whip and pierced Nia''s head with a sizzle and hiss that sounded like metal being quenched. Separated from my body, I didn''t feel nauseated; I couldn''t try to scream. I could only watch. Nia''s body, unmoving from the invisible weight holding us down, relaxed. Jon struggled on but to no avail. A light web got to him next. I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut, to refuse to see anymore. I had no eyes to close, no head to turn away. I could only watch as the back of his head was again pierced by light with another snapping hiss of cauterized skin and bone. My younger self closed his eyes so he didn''t have to watch the glowing web drift ever closer. There was a surrealness to watching myself die from a 3rd person perspective. The world went black, and yet I remained. Why did you show me that? I asked, assuming Hands could still hear me. I DIDN''T. IT''S SIMPLY THE CURTAIN THAT MUST BE BRUSHED ASIDE FOR YOU TO ENTER. Enter what? Then, light returned. I remained an observer, with no body to speak of. I was in the bed of a semi-truck. From the sounds and the rattling, I could tell it was moving. A small dolphin was in the center, slung in a cradle, a canvas hammock. Uh, Hands? Is that you? I asked the empty air. Stolen novel; please report. IN A WAY. His voice said, still disembodied. That seems unnecessarily cryptic. TRUTH OFTEN DOES. The young dolphin seemed nervous, agitated. He wasn''t alone in the semi-bed. Two men in matching khaki aquarium uniforms sat in chairs strapped to the floor beside the sling that held Hands. They were monitoring a sprinkler system they had set up to keep the dolphin wet and offering comfort to the animal who must be scared. One of the men was Guy. Where were they taking you? I asked, my mental voice soft with anticipation. SUPPOSEDLY TO RELEASE ME INTO THE OCEAN BEFORE THE WORLD FELL APART. THE TRUTH IS DARKER AND MORE DELUSIONAL. Dolphins were supposed to be extremely intelligent as problem solvers and social and emotional creatures. Even so, their understanding of the world would be alien to a human perspective. How had Hands gone from dolphin to essentially doing convincing human cosplay with his illusions? The trailer lurched as an enormous crashing sound came from the front of the truck, and the back end careened out of control. The unknown aquarium worker wasn''t tethered down. He was tossed from his seat as the opposite wall swung toward him. Hands squealed and clicked, his body thrashing in his harness, but he was held secure. The cab tipped around me, Guy and Hands turning sideways to my perspective, and a horrendous grinding crashing sound filled the air. When the truck settled, Guy dangled, still strapped with make-shift tethers to his seat. "Hunter! Hunter!" I watched him scrabble at his straps, only freeing himself when he brought out a pocket knife and cut the belt. The bed was at a steep angle, but he managed to half fall, half lower himself down to check on the other aquarium worker. "Dammit, Dammit, Dammit!" he wailed. Hunter''s neck was broken; even I could see that. Guy checked for a pulse anyway. First at his wrist, then his neck. Hunter was sprawled out. Guy hadn''t moved him, likely worried about doing more damage. When he didn''t find a pulse, he must have decided it was worth moving Hunter''s body. Laying Hunter flat, Guy pressed his ear to the other man''s chest and listened. When he didn''t hear anything, he began chest compressions. Outside, cars honked, and people shouted. A siren approached, turning off just outside the truck. More voices shouted. Soon, the trailer doors were opened, revealing two people wearing khaki and a police officer. They pulled out Hunter first. Then they began to argue. The vortex was getting low. Guy and the other two aquarium workers convinced the officer to help carry Hands out of the semi-truck. They didn''t call him Hands. "Please, just help us carry Floppy out of here. We''re so close." "I need to direct traffic around you. I don''t have time." The officer said. Another siren could be heard approaching. I wonder if that''s Jon and I. SO YOU''VE SAID. Hands replied. Wait, have we done this before? Hands didn''t answer. Floppy? THAT''S NOT MY NAME, Hands replied. "See, they can direct traffic. Please! We can''t just leave him." The officer sighed. "Fine. But we have to be quick. It''s coming down quick." I remembered thinking the exact same thing. And even then, I''d been wrong about how quick. Using Guy''s knife, each person took a corner of Hands''s hammock and cut the straps free. Hands was hanging at an angle almost parallel to the ground, the aperture holding him in the middle of the truck. This meant two aquarium workers had to climb onto it to cut Hands free. If Hands had been full-grown, it probably wouldn''t have been possible. Based on what it felt like to be body slammed by him, he was probably 200 pounds. Still, they worked quickly, and in seconds, they were backing Hands out of the truck. Outside, half a dozen cars followed Jon''s car behind the hospital. Other vehicles were trying to drive around the semi, but the ditches on either side of the road were steep, and only one thin strip of the shoulder was available to drive on. The quartet carefully carried Hands out of the semi and down into the ditch. "Son a bitch, it sped up." The officer said. "Run!" They didn''t wait to see if the others listened. They didn''t try to bring the dolphin with them. They just half lowered, half dropped their end of the canvas, and ran. The road was lower than the hospital''s rear entrance, so when light and the bass rumble shook through them, they still had a window of escape. The others couldn''t hold the dolphin up without the officer. The khaki-wearer who shared the rear load with the officer lowered their end just as quickly. Guy and his counterpart were forced to lower the front. "I''m sorry," Guy said, rubbing ''Floppy''s'' head. The others ran past him, but as Guy turned to go, the dolphin panicked. I WAS TERRIFIED. I DIDN''T UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS HAPPENING. I DIDN''T WANT TO BE ALONE, Hands said. The dolphin turned his head, quicker than I would have guessed, and clamped his mouth down on Guy''s hand. Guy screamed. His coworkers glanced back and hesitated, looking between Guy and their quickly closing window of escape. Tears in their eyes, they yelled and swore, apologizing over and over as they hurried beyond the boundary of the slowly rotating vortex wall. Guy punched and elbowed Hands in the head. Screaming and swearing, blood trickling from Hands''s mouth. "FUCK! Let go! Goddamit, no!" Eventually, he pulled out his knife and began stabbing. By then, it was too late, and Hands didn''t let go anyway. Even when the dappled light showed up, Hands would let go. Even when light and sound crushed Guy and Hands to the grass, Hands hung on. As webs of light dappled the air and struck out against them, Hands held on. I REMEMBER THIS MOMENT TWICE. I REMEMBER BEING TERRIFIED AND CONFUSED. I REMEMBER NOT WANTING TO BE ABANDONED. I REMEMBER KNOWING TIME WAS RUNNING OUT AND THAT MY ONLY HOPE WAS TO GET FREE. I REMEMBER DYING AND WATCHING MYSELF DIE. WHEN I WOKE, MY BODY WAS A DOLPHIN''S, AS WERE MOST OF MY MEMORIES. BUT MY THOUGHTS, THEY WERE THOSE OF A HUMAN. THIS WAS OUR TRAUMA. --=- 51 A Means Of Escape --==Chapter 51: A Means Of Escape--== The violent and bloody scene faded. As it did, I once again became aware of my body. I felt pressure on my feet, knees, and back. Wind rustled my fur, and I took a deep breath, suddenly aware I hadn''t breathed during that entire display. Light pricked the empty darkness, and the world began to resolve around me. I''d been expecting to find myself back in the physical therapy room; instead, I found myself in the center of a small village. "What? Where-?" I asked, startling myself with a voice. It was my voice from before the apocalypse, not the one I''d gained in the ether with Sori. The village was made up of single-story residences that wouldn''t have looked out of place anywhere in small-town America. They weren''t laid out in a grid; instead, they circled a garden. Here and there, I saw people strolling along cultivated walkways. Beside one of the far houses, I saw someone hanging laundry on a clothesline. I was standing there in only my werewolf suit, no mask, cape, or even pants, but nobody showed any alarm or surprise. The man hanging laundry even waved casually at me before picking up his empty basket and walking into the adjacent house. I didn''t know how many people lived in each house, but by my count, there were a dozen houses. So, not a village so much as a homestead or commune. "No, really¨C" "Where are we?" Hands said from behind me. I spun, startled. Hands chuckled. "Every time. To answer your question, welcome to Dreamland." I wrinkled my snout in distaste. "Dreamland?" I asked skeptically. "English is your language, not mine. Or at least, mostly not mine. Did you know dolphins can recreate their experiences as echoes so that other dolphins can share in that experience? Our communication is a full sensory experience. Human language isn''t so far off when sentences are crafted with intent and purpose. It does have the unfortunate drawback of baggage. The meanings of words change or become associated with conflicting ideas. Dolphins don''t have that same problem. Our experiences are recreated for our family, so they share in that experience. When I say ''dreamland,'' you associate it with cliches, claims of paradise, and all kinds of things I had no interest in implying. When I say Dreamland, I simply mean a land, a place, that is more dream than real." Surrounding the village were fields of wheat, corn, beans, and squash, more than I''d think a dozen small families could tend. Beyond and amidst the fields were a couple more houses and stands of trees. Beyond that was a glass barrier stretching into the sky in a dome. The dome circled the village a couple miles out, and at its height, the sky was tinged blue, and there were even wisps of clouds visible. Beyond the dome was more familiar but somehow less expected. The dome held a vast ocean at bay, an ocean of green plasma and dark shadow, an ocean I recognized from the ether where I''d first met Sori. Impossible village or not, it didn''t feel like a dream. "I recognize that swirling plasma beyond the barrier," I said, thinking out loud. Hands looked taken aback. "I¡ªhadn''t thought you''d be able to enter the ether without the Shadow." Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. "So this is the ether then?" I asked, ignoring his unspoken question. I wasn''t ready to abandon my vendetta or to let Hands do what he wanted with impunity. Still, he at least seemed willing to answer questions. "No. Things would be a great deal simpler if it was. I can press against the boundary between the waking world and the ether, but beyond my barrier, there is only complete and utter destruction. The ether is not a place of being; it is a place of unmaking. A trash heap of unused potential and unnecessary connection. Your shadow seems to be the only entrance to the ether that doesn''t lead to immediate dissolution. This Dreamland exists only in the minds of its inhabitants, and only their minds have access to it. Now, perhaps you see why I say it is a dream." "So you what, use it as a lure for people and then steal control of their bodies?" I glanced over at the human-looking person. It was interesting that he didn''t look like Guy. Hands was taller and had darker skin and curly black hair to Guy''s straight sandy blonde hair. Hands sighed. "Walk with me," he said, gesturing toward a path leading into the food garden. "My subjects have the choice of living their lives in this dream or repeatedly living the same nightmare of a half-day in the real world. We can''t make this place real, but we can make it meaningful. It may be cliche, but it''s the journey that matters, not the destination. It doesn''t matter if the food is necessary; treating it as necessary creates traveling companions and a common road. That''s the heart of community, of society, of culture." "And that''s why you keep coming after me as Guy? You don''t want to share paradise?" "Guy?" Hands raised an eyebrow in apparent confusion. "It''s not about paradise. It''s about power. Control. Autonomy. It''s about freedom. All my life, I lived in a cage, with only echoed experiences of the ocean to shape my understanding. When I was very young, the descriptions of the dark fathoms brought only fear. Still, as I grew up, I longed to explore them, to race against my breath to the depths, to chase my pod around the dangers that loomed there. When I finally gained freedom¡ªindependence¡ª I discovered I was surrounded by a barrier I couldn''t pass. Even reaching tomorrow became impossible. Then I met a god, and he showed me this place." "Sorry? A god?" The garden between the houses was filled with berry bushes and fruit trees. There were even some boxed beehives for honey. "So he claimed. He had knowledge and power I can''t otherwise explain. And yet, even he couldn''t grant me freedom from the vortex or safe passage through the ether." Hands plucked a pear from one of the trees and handed to me. ¡°Pear? They¡¯re wonderfully sweet and juicey.¡± I scowled, but took the fruit. Eating as a werewolf was harder, there were less side-to-side grinding, and more straight up and down chomping. Still he was right, the pear was perfectly ripe and sweet.Apart from some chips, I hadn¡¯t eaten in days. His god was sounding more and more familiar, and I decided to confirm my suspicion. "Was he also the one who taught you to create illusions?" Once again, Hands looked surprised. "You know of the god? Last we spoke of him, you weren''t sure you even believed me." "I don''t remember that." "I know. He told me of you but claimed he couldn''t speak to you himself. He appears to have solved that problem." "I don''t think he''s a god." "I don''t think labels define a thing. They are general associations, not limits." "I mean, I don''t think he actually caused the apocalypse. Most of the time I spoke to him, he seemed confused." "As was I when I first started speaking in words. You, of all people, should know the difficulty communication carries. In any event, I don''t mean to imply reverence or undue fear. Instead, I''m explaining how your shadow came to my attention. It is a means of escape. Thus far, it is the only chance at freedom I have found. You''ll forgive me if I find your absence a cheap price." I was getting a little frustrated. Sori had apparently tried to get Hands to go after my shadow, too. "I don''t know why the eyeball is obsessed with the shadow, but I don''t think you should trust everything he says." "Perhaps not, but I''ve been aboard your vessel. Unlike my village on the bottom of the plasma sea, your ship floats above it and is equipped to travel along it. Accessed through your shadow, you have freedom." "If that''s true, why didn''t I grab every one I could and leave?" "I asked you that before. Begged it of you even, if you can believe it. You always had another reason to stay." "Such as?" I followed Hands out of the garden and toward the house with clothes that had just been hung up. "People, places, things." Hands shrugged. "Put that aside for now, you mentioned attacks by Guy?" "Sure, by Guy. I think we both know he wasn''t the one calling the shots though. Is this where he lives? What about Maebe? Did you bring her here too?" "You sound like you''re making an accusation. I can assure you, no one here was brought here by force. Either way, I don''t know that person. They aren''t here." "Strange then that she''s catatonic and missing her aura, just like Guy." "I can''t see auras, but last I knew, Guy wasn''t catatonic. But let''s ask him." Hands walked up to the door of the quaint little house and knocked. A moment later, the door opened, and Guy stood in a pair of black sweats and a tie-dye t-shirt. He smiled upon seeing us. "Hey Floppy, Oberon. It''s been a while." --== 52 About That Name --=-Chapter 52: About That Name--=- It was a strange thing, standing on Guy''s porch with Hands. Hands had ordered my death. It was also hard to remember that he wasn''t the suit-wearing man next to me, but rather some inexplicable merger of trauma and dolphin. Guy, on the other hand, had killed me. He''d also drugged me and stolen some of my fur, though I doubted I could actually lay much of that at his feet. Either way, part of me knew I should be on edge, scared. Wherever I was, I didn''t even know how to leave. At the same time, this was the first time in too long that I''d been able to directly speak to anyone who wasn''t a floating eyeball. So, while I was on edge, part of me also felt like I''d just set down a burden. The beautiful calm of the Dreamland only reinforced the feeling. The plasma ocean cast the world in the dark shades of that particular green seen before storms. No insects were buzzing or birds chirping; apart from an unexplained breeze, the world was quiet. It was the epitome of the calm before the storm, and yet the peace was still restorative. It was just one more of the many contradictions that popped up around Hands. When I met him, he''d sent goons to abduct me but then shared information. He seemed almost fond of me, yet he''d killed me for simple convenience. Hands had been looking for my Shadow, but he was also my prime suspect for having the Shadow. Guy, one of his goons, was a drone, and yet, here, Guy seemed utterly normal, apart from the fact we were in a dream. Hell, it was the first time I''d seen Guy wearing anything other than his khaki outfit, and I envied his sweats and colorful shirt. It was like he had gone home for the weekend, leaving the apocalypse until his next shift. "So, what. Is that the deal? You let people escape reality and, in turn, use their bodies as your personal puppets?" Guy laughed. "Don''t be ridiculous, Oberon." "First off, my name is Sam. Second, laugh all you want, but I doubt you were in control when you killed me. Or am I wrong?" Guy''s face actually blanched. "What?" "Yeah. I didn''t think so," I looked over at Hands, and his face looked every bit as shocked, but only for a moment. Considering his ability with illusions, I wasn''t going to put much stock in it being genuine. "You must be mistaken. Guy is safely hidden away with the others." Hands objected, raising a reassuring hand in Guy''s direction. It seemed like such a weak lie, and it made me mad. "Maybe now, sure. How about a couple loops ago? Most recently, he only shot me with a tranq gun and cut some of my fur to further frame me as a monster that goes around assaulting people." "What?" Guy asked again, more panic in his voice and pleading in his eyes as he looked at Hands. "Floppy?" "Oberon, why are you saying this? It''s not like you to use blatant lies. Guy, Please. By all means, check if you have concerns. I won''t hold it against you." Guy closed his eyes, and his eyes flicked side to side. "I... I can''t. It''s like sleep paralysis. I can almost feel myself but can''t open my eyes or move. I''m stuck. Floppy, what''s going on?" "What did you do?" Hands asked me, a bur in his voice. "Me? I got within spitting distance of building support, and then your goon came around and ensured that your promise remained true. You told me there was nothing here in the hospital for me. You told me to leave, and when I refused, you stole my chance at building something. "Floppy, you said you couldn''t control us," Guy said, hurt in his voice. "Right, ''Floppy,'' the dolphin. Does he even remember why others call you Hands?" I asked the illusion of a man, his suit in sharp contrast to Guy''s casual appearance. "Of course he does. Only the traumatized can come here, and only by facing their past, just as you yourself experienced. And Guy, I can''t control your bodies. Oberon is missing his Shadow. Someone must have figured out how to use it to control you. Everyone needs to calm down. "He''s lying," I said, crossing my arms. Even my body language was coming easier in this place. It was too bad I couldn''t trust the dolphin man. "There were other empty bodies he was using as guards." "You mean Steve and Larry?" Guy asked, furrowing his brows. "Yes." Hands answered for me, which was fine since I didn''t know their names. "Out of curiosity, have you recognized them yet, Oberon?" "Why do you insist on calling me Oberon?" I asked, ignoring his question. In truth, they did look familiar, but I hadn''t placed them yet. "You told us to," Guy said. "Well, now I''m saying call me Sam." Maybe I''d thought it necessary to hide my identity for some reason, but Hands at least knew who I was already. If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. "Guy," Hands said, turning away from me, "Would you please go around and ask the others to check if they''re having the same issue. I promise you, we''ll get to the bottom of this. As I said, I suspect the Shadow is, once again, at the root of things." "Of course," Guy said, closing his door and stepping off his porch. "Oh, Guy, please also send Larry over. He at least can testify that he was in control of his own body." "Sure, should I send Steve too?" Guy asked. "Ah, unfortunately, he''ll be out for the rest of the loop." Guy groaned in sympathy. "Bummer. Ok, I''ll send Larry by." Hands turned and sat down on the porch steps, the wood actually creaking as he did. "Forgive my casual behavior. In this place, my human body is real. Every moment on my feet feels precarious after the security of the Medium¨Cwater, I mean. Balance is as alien a sensation as I''ve ever known. Now then, where were we? Ah, yes. Are you sure you are Sam?" Hands asked. I gave him a flat look. "Think back on the events we just witnessed. Your perspective changed." Hands sat in a tailored suit, arms resting on his bent knees. It was still an odd sight, even knowing neither the outfit nor the porch were real. But then, I supposed any dirt or stains would be just as illusory. "My perspective hasn''t changed yet," I said, a growling rasp in my otherwise familiar voice. Hands patted the air from where he sat as though telling me to calm down. "I mean in the memory we saw. You relived your memory from your original perspective up until you got too close to the vortex. Something snapped from the barrier, an unseen tendril of light perhaps? Then you blacked out. When you woke, your perspective was from the outside looking in. Are you sure you''re the same person who was trying to flee with Jon?" "Who else would I be?" Hands shrugged. "A clone, perhaps." I looked down at my blue fur and hulking form. "Not a very good one." "Of course not," Hands''s dark eyes sparkled with amusement. "I told you; I think you broke¡ªwhatever was meant to happen¡ªwith your ridiculous tinfoil hat." I burst out laughing, sure that he was joking. Laughing also felt good, and I''d miss it when I left. This place was dangerous. Asking to stay here was too tempting. And why not? It was an attempt at paradise. Guy was pleasant and didn''t care that I looked like a monster. Even Hands was being polite. Of course, the situation on the outside was the answer to why not. Even if there weren''t people who trusted me and needed my help, Guy''s body was walking around under someone else''s control. I couldn''t stay in Dreamland, especially if Hands or another party were puppeting my body around. Hands just looked at me expectantly. "We''ve spoken of this before. I didn''t expect you to believe me right away." "Oh, come on," I said, beginning to lose patience. "People are out there blaming the apocalypse on all-powerful gods and super-advanced aliens, and you think the real culprit is a bit of aluminum?" "Obviously not. I doubt any of us were ever meant to know we were trapped. I told you I spoke to one of their gods-" "Well, ''gods'' maybe," I interrupted, enjoying that I could once again make finger quotes. "Sori is as much god as Aluminum is weapon of mass destruction." "You might be surprised at the necessity aluminum held in such weapons. I''m curious about that name, though. It gave you the name ''Sorry''?" "No, I gave him the name Sori, S-O-R-I. It''s just a dumb joke and not important right now. Long story short, Sori isn''t a god. I''m not sure he''s lucid, let alone sane; you can''t believe most of what he says." "Perhaps not, but it was asking about a Shadow since before you and I met. It, or he, if you prefer¡ªI don''t think it matters to the eye¡ª came to me looking for ''something broken in the system.'' Sori, as you call him, predicted you." Hands let the statement hang. My mouth was dry. The sweet smell of flowers and ripe fruit filled the air. I was tempted to go grab another juicy snack from the garden. I''d known I couldn''t fully trust Sori, but I liked him, and he really didn''t seem malicious. Hands was making me wonder if I''d taken too much for granted. "Ok, but what makes you think he meant me?" Hands nodded along as I spoke. "Each and every person who has seen their trauma has also seen themselves attacked by those webs of light, our last experience the awful hissing of energy piercing our skulls. Some believe we''re in some god''s purgatory; others believe we''re clones in a reproduction of Forest Lake in a galactic zoo. There are those who believe that ancient magic rose up to wipe the earth clean of humanity and technology; others earnestly believe we''re in the Matrix movies and always have been. Whatever happened, it seemed to go wrong, providing us an opportunity to escape our cage." "Is that why everyone is after my shadow?" I asked. Hands snorted. "There are many reasons, Wolf. But yes, that''s my dream, anyway. Freedom at last. Failing that, the Shadow must, at the least, be kept away from the silver eye." Hands raised his hand in a wave, his eyes focused past me. Turning, I saw one of his goons walking over, Larry, I presumed. Larry looked at me sheepishly, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Hey, Oberon. Sorry about before. Just doing my job, you understand?" Hands had asked if I''d recognized him, and I suddenly did. Larry was one of the men who had followed Jon and me behind the hospital. He was one of those that had driven straight into the vortex after we crashed. "How?" I asked. Hands must have understood the question because his smile was the smugest I''d seen in my entire life. "Magic, of course." ---= --=- 53 The First Virtue --=-Chapter 53: The First Virtue--=- Hands wouldn''t tell me how he''d rescued Larry from his looping death of driving into the vortex¡ª or when. Still, I had some guesses. The use of a memory crystal to change Hands''s spawn point, then illusions at the start of a loop to make Larry and Steve swerve away from the vortex, and more memory crystals to change their spawn points. I doubted it was quite that straightforward or clean, especially since people could only enter Hands''s domain if they''d experienced traumas. It might be a little cynical, but I couldn''t help but notice that, done right, Hands would end up with a trauma crystal for each person he housed in Dreamland. Then again, I already knew him to be pragmatically cold. He also had more uses for the crystals than anyone I''d seen. It made me wonder how much Sori had shown him and what happened to end that partnership. "Larry," Hands said, "confirm for our guest that you were in control of your own body in our recent scuffle." "You don''t need to bother," I interjected. "Everyone here is obviously dependent on you. I''ve no doubt they''d say whatever you wanted. Not that I don''t believe you; Guy''s surprise at being unable to return to his body was convincing enough. I have more questions, a lot more really, but if you aren''t the one setting me up, I need to find out who is." I¡¯d been distracted by one unexpected event after another, something all too common on this side of the apocalypse, but I knew the clock was still ticking. Jessica and Nia were still missing and Guy was still out there with a clump of my fur, ready to make another victim. "Ah, then that brings me to a decision," Hands said. Trees creaked and swayed in the otherwise quiet park, devoid of insects and birds. Together with the dark and green sky, it felt like a storm was imminent. "Are you more trouble for me in here or out there?" I half expected thunder to follow his words. "Hands, come on," Larry said, surprise evident in his voice. "It''s not a simple matter, Larry. Our freedom requires Oberon''s Shadow." "Is that why you''ve been such an ass?" I asked. "I don''t have any particular attachment to that shadow, except that someone''s using it to attack my friends and allies." "You say that now, but while freeing their minds, you''ll no doubt find your past memories, at which point, I doubt you''ll be as willing to give me the only escape hatch." "Why does it have to be one or the other? Why are you in such a hurry? You realize we''re in a time loop, right?" Hands raised an eyebrow. "Where the fish are always fresh. When you find yourself in a god''s larder, don''t wait around just because you like the cold." "You realize that outside Forest Lake isn''t going to be a paradise, right? The world''s infrastructure is likely destroyed. We aren''t anywhere near the ocean. Getting there could easily be more than your followers can manage. Society, collective will, teamwork, they are the pragmatic choice." Hands sighed, shaking his head. "I told you, this is how you always are. There''s always someone else to save, something else to accomplish or to plan for. We''ve had this argument before. I''ve no doubt that it was someone you tried to help that stole your memories and your Shadow. I''ve told you repeatedly that there''s nothing here for you, nothing here for any of us. Without survival, nothing else matters. It is the first virtue." It was my turn to sigh. "I... just¡­. don''t believe that. Or maybe, rather than my life, the thing I want to survive is my humanity, no offense." "Oh, but I am offended. Humanity was what saw me born into captivity. You can''t simply ignore the parts you dislike when deciding what it means to be human. It''s not inhumane to keep intelligent creatures locked up for all manner of reasons. Humans do it for food, for safety, from prejudice, and for politics. Humans imprison sapient beings, even their own kind, for entertainment and curiosity. Personally, I''m not a fan of humanity, and I''m not overly concerned with preserving yours or anyone else''s, not at the cost of my own survival or freedom." Hands said. I found myself wondering if I''d be able to use emotional illusions inside Hands''s Dreamland. I was pretty sure Hands wasn''t using the Shadow to set me up or steal people''s wills at this point. If he was right that my Shadow was the only escape anyone in Forest Lake had, then he was also right that I couldn''t just give it to him and the dozen or so people he was harboring in his domain. "What about a compromise. I don''t even have the Shadow at this point, but if either of us gets it, we work together to save as many as we can." Hands and I had gradually begun squaring up against each other, all but forgetting about Larry, who looked awkwardly between us. "I''m probably not needed for this." "No, wait, please, Larry." Hands said. "I''m curious about your opinion on the matter." "I... I don''t want to die, and I don''t want to go back to being trapped in that pickup truck. By the time you saved me, I knew I was going to die, but I couldn''t change anything. I was stuck watching my life amount to a few panicked seconds. No offense, Oberon, but you couldn''t save me. I don''t want to go back to that." "If you try to save everyone, you could cost those like Larry everything." Hand said. "But how many more are in situations like Larry''s?" Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. "I don''t envy them, but neither can I take responsibility for all the world''s suffering." "You don''t want to accept responsibility for all the suffering, but you don''t seem to mind adding more." "I''ve spent my life in a cage; perhaps the world has suffering coming. Your greed will cost us all. Lest you forget, let me remind you that the silver eye is also after your Shadow. If it''s found a way to track you, it may know the moment you regain control of it. I doubt you could stop it from ''fixing'' its apocalypse." "Maybe, but if he can''t find the Shadow now, I don''t see why that would change just because I had it. And if he''ll know when I find it, he''ll definitely know when you find it." "Which is just one more reason I plan to leave immediately after finding it." "I''m going to be honest: I trust the eye more than you. I''ve seen more altruistic behavior from Sori than I have you." "That''s not fair," Larry said. "It''s fine, Larry. ''Sam'' here wants to believe he''s different, but his perspective is as limited as everyone else''s." "I, uh, realize this might not be the best time. But maybe I could offer a compromise." Sori''s voice said from empty space next to us." I swore and then swore again as the world went mad. Tentacles erupted from the ground and began grasping at empty air. "I''m just here to talk!" Sori said, his silvery eye appearing amongst the waving octopus-like limbs. The sucker-covered tentacles swung toward the god, but he seemed to disappear and reappear a few inches out of the way. Gunfire echoed across the space as Hands and Larry started shooting guns that appeared in their hands. Sori let out a cackling laugh, flashing around like an anime character. "Man, you are all so predictable. Hey there, Sam, I see you''ve made some new friends." Walls of stone rose up in the distance and charged toward us, as though intending to block off Sori''s retreat. "Hey, Hands, if you stop trying to trap me for a second, I think you''ll like what I have to say." He said, flying over the walls and circling behind Larry. Larry spun in alarm and surprise at Sori''s voice coming from behind him unexpectedly; his gun fired early while pointed at me. That or he''d managed to predict Sori''s appearance right in front of me. "Ow, son of a bitch." The eye said as the bullet deflected away." Sori blurred again, and blood exploded from Larry''s neck, his head suddenly replaced by a silver orb. "Dammit, everybody calm the fuck down, I''m just here to talk." Larry''s body slumped to the ground before fading away, blood and all. I assumed by ''everybody'' Sori just meant Hands, since I''d been caught off guard by the sudden violence and manifestations, and Larry was dead¡­ or at least gone. It was Hands''s turn to vanish, followed a moment later by everything else in the domed commune. Hands, the houses, the garden, and even the surrounding fields all disappeared without a trace. Only bare stone and the churning skies were left behind. Well, and me. "It was a mistake to come here, orb. This is my domain. Here, I''m the god." Hands''s voice said, coming from every direction at once. "Ooo, scary!" Sori said, his voice sounding more excited than anything. "What about Sam? he didn''t deserve to be vanished like the rest of your friends?" Sori disappeared, and I suddenly felt a blunt impact against my gut, like I''d been punched by a massive iron fist. It was accompanied by sounds of multiple explosions. "Yikes! Sorry, Sam," Sori said as he lifted me up into the air by the stomach. "That was too close." Below me, the spot we''d just been standing was destroyed, torn apart, and cratered. Explosions continued to chase Sori and my helpless form through the air. "Whee!" Sori said as I tried to regain any semblance of control. "Are you done yet, ''Floppy''?" Sori called out with a chuckle. "Don''t you think that''s a stupid name, Sam? He''s lucky I changed it. Can you imagine a dolphin without hands, just flopping around on the ground? Too lame." --=- --== 54: Dont Go --==Chapter 54:Don''t Go--== Explosions erupted in the air around us as Sori bobbed and weaved. Hands had much more control of his domain than I''d had on the stone ship. Then again, I hadn''t actually tried changing anything, let alone creating anti-aircraft missiles. Sori was fast, however, and in the midst of some kind of mania. He dropped down, shot up, and darted all around, cackling the entire time. As Sori zipped about, my body was tossed around, caught abruptly, and manhandled carelessly hundreds of feet above the ground. It felt a lot like being repeatedly punched in the stomach, and I was beginning to feel like an anime character being hit into the air over and over. My balance atop the basketball-sized orb was precarious, and I instinctively looked for a way to take a measure of control. I had no interest in being juggled through the air while Sori and Hands went to war around me. My options were not many. I considered pushing myself off Sori, but we were high enough that there was no way I''d survive hitting the newly barren landscape far below me. Death might not hold the permanence it used to, but I wasn''t eager to hit the ground after falling at least a mile. Our height didn''t seem to hinder Hands''s attack at all; the air still burst all around us as though we were being targeted by anti-aircraft artillery. "Hey," I finally said to the eye. "Help me shift so I''m sitting on you instead of being held up by my stomach." "Oh my god! You can talk!" Sori burst out. "Finally, yes, I can talk. Now, will you help me reposition?" "I don''t know if you can tell, but I''m a little busy. Also, I don''t want to nestle into your taint. ''Hey Sori, I know you''re super powerful, will you let my balls dangle against your eye?'' You''re not even wearing pants." "Then let me down. He wasn''t trying to kill me." "Really? I guess if you insist. I didn''t realize you-" He dropped me. "Fuuuuck!" I yelled as I plummeted, Sori''s voice lost above me. Looking over my shoulder, I watched the silver orb zip across the sky, trailed by explosions. My thoughts raced, looking for a solution. The ground was coming at me fast, and blood rushed to my head as my heart pounded in my ears. This was a dream. Sori was darting around without propulsion; Hands was making things explode and vanish entirely. There had to be a way to fly, or float, or conjure a parachute, or just wake up back in my body. Guy had been able to wake up¨Cor, well, he wasn''t able to, but he expected to be able to. I should be able to return to my body in the hospital. Hopefully, Hands or his goons were keeping a closer eye on my body than they did Guy''s. I couldn''t afford to let someone puppet my body around, causing trouble. A fistful of fur was enough to get me exiled. I could only imagine what I''d come back to if someone attacked my allies in my body. My thoughts were scattered, and the ground was getting terrifyingly close much faster than I''d expected. I didn''t have minutes to figure things out. I had seconds, maybe half a minute. Suddenly, Sori was in front of me again, flying downward at the same speed I was falling. "So," Sori started, "Are you not able to fly? Hey!" I reached out and grabbed the orb between my paw hands and brought him in under my shoulder like I was holding a football. "Save me!" I burst out. I''d wanted to be cooler, calmer, but even the barren landscape was becoming more distinct, taking on texture. Slamming into the ground would hurt. It would also kill me. I didn''t know if dying in the dream would kill me in real life, but it seemed likely. I wasn''t ready to start the day over yet, not before I''d done something to clear my name. Not that I was really thinking that rationally. Fear had overcome my reason, and I just didn''t want to smash into the ground going a gazillion miles an hour. Sori began to slow our fall but was still being trailed by concussive blasts, so he turned the fall into forward motion until we were speeding along just feet above the ground. "Ok," Sori said. "now what." It was difficult to tell without any landmarks to look at, but we had to have been going at least a hundred miles an hour, pursued all the while by explosions. At this point, I had to wonder if Hands was even aiming at us, or if he was just trying to keep Sori moving. The domed space that had seemed surprisingly large when I first entered, felt smaller by the second. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. Dangling precariously from Sori, only a story or two above the ground, we zoomed toward the border from the center of the space, across fields of dirt. A plume of dust trailed behind us before being dispersed by further explosions. The barrier was fast approaching, and Sori would have to turn. I had no idea if I''d be able to hold on. Sori tried to take the turn at speed, and my body careened outward, threatening my grip. The barrier was feet away. If I slipped, I''d likely collide with it hard. I didn''t think the impact would be enough to kill me, but I also didn''t know what kind of barrier it was. For all I knew, it would just disintegrate anything that passed through, like the vortex wall. Two things happened at once before I could slip. An explosion from behind hit closer than the others, sending out a shockwave that threw me forward. At the same time, a stone wall rose up right in front of us. Sori swerved and increased his height to go around it, but my grip wasn''t strong enough to hold on. The blast hit me from behind, disorienting me. My hands slipped, and the stone wall took me in the shins, sending pain screaming up my body and causing my body to ragdoll through the air until I hit the ground in an uncontrolled roll. When I finally came to a stop, everything hurt. It didn''t feel like a dream or even a nightmare. It felt real. My legs were shattered, and one of my shoulders was dislocated. I writhed in the dust, trying to catch my breath. "Sorry about this, Oberon. Sam. I won''t risk this place or my people to that thing, god or not." Hands''s voice said from nearby, though I couldn''t see his body. "Help." I groaned. "I don''t think this place will last long when I leave. It will be over soon. It was a mistake to bring you here; it opened the door for the Eye. I''ve evacuated my people to a new dream space." His words felt distant, unimportant, as I gasped for breath through the pain. I was pretty sure I''d broken my clavicle as well. Any motion was excruciating. "I don''t have your shadow. I didn''t hurt your allies. You, however, attacked me on mere suspicion. You killed one of mine and maimed another. For that, you can stay here while the plasma ocean reclaims the space. Thank you for telling me about Guy. I will find your shadow and reclaim his body. And then, we''re leaving Forest Lake behind. Don''t get in my way again." With that, his presence was gone. The explosions must have stopped pursuing Sori, because I suddenly saw him floating above me. "Yikes, you do not look good. Doesn''t it hurt for your bones to poke through your skin like that? It looks gross. You should probably stop." "It hurts," I moaned. "Help me." "Uh, Sam, it''s not real. Just stop. Right?" Sori said, sounding baffled. "How?" I pleaded through the pain. Sori bobbed up and down in the semblance of a shrug. "How should I know? You''re the one who dreams. Try squeezing your eyes shut and focusing really hard. That''s how it works on TV." I followed his suggestion, but my hopes weren''t high. That was pretty much what I''d been doing since I stopped rolling. "It''s not working," I groaned. Sori made a raspberry sound. "Well. The dolphin''s gone anyway, so at least you won''t get blown up. Then again, the dolphin''s gone, so this place is going to collapse. You should probably head out. You should be fine back in your body." "How?" I asked again, frustration filling my voice. "I told you, you''re the one who dreams. How do you usually wake up?" Above us, the barrier holding back the black and green plasma began to flicker. "Ooo, uh, full disclosure, that plasma is kind of a bitch to deal with, so I think I''m going to head out." "Take me." I gasped, hoping he''d have some way to bring me with." "No can do, amigo." Sori said, sounding unconcerned, "Dream doors are only ever one person wide, here anyway. Not that it''s an actual door, mind you. You get metaphors, right? I can never remember. Anyway. My fingers are crossed for you. That''s another metaphor. Just, you know, figure it out." "Don''t go." I pleaded. The idea of being alone with my agony while the world collapsed terrified me. "I''ll give the shadow to Hands." I threatened weakly. Sori snorted. "Yeah, we''ll see. You have to find it first. You shouldn''t believe everything he said anyway. Even Hands doesn''t remember everything. Anyway, don''t be so serious. It''s almost over." Then Sori too was gone, and I was alone in a dustbowl as the barrier gave out and plasma and shadow spilled into the space in a cacophonous roar. For all the terror and pain, both of them were right. It was over quick. The flood washed over me and ended my pain in an instant. The next moment, I respawned in the lobby bathroom, silent sobs leaving me shuddering on the ground. --== 55 Whats in The Bag? ---=Chapter 55: What''s In The Bag?---= I was unbelievably drained. Moving hurt. Not my body; it hurt my soul, my mind. I wanted to just lay there, curled up in a fetal position on the ground, as the unending pain, solitude, and death piled on top of me, crushing my will to keep trying. I''d failed with Jessica. Who knew what had happened to her after I disappeared. Even if she survived, she''d most likely forgotten our shared moment of companionship when time looped. Worse, if she didn''t forget, the lingering memories that made her feel safe around me might have been destroyed by Crowdent''s attack. Any lingering trust would no doubt be smothered by a note about my exile. I was unlikely to be welcomed by anyone in their group today. Alice and Jessica needed my shadow to avoid becoming part of Crowseph''s flock. But I didn''t want to move. I''d made little enough difference as it was. I''d doubly failed with Jon. He hadn''t believed I was Sam, even with multiple people insisting that I wasn''t like the other monsters running around and a comic revealing my identity. The comic was gone. I hadn''t prioritized making sure it would survive the loop. Which was incredibly stupid. I could only blame the surreal nature of time loops. And probably stress. Either way, the comic was gone until I could get a copy from the island ship. Alice no doubt left herself a note about not trusting me, which meant Jon was further out of reach than ever. It had seemed so... attainable before. I thought I just needed a chance. I thought he''d read the comic or Alice would say something, and he''d look at me in doubt. Then he''d walk closer and look at my eyes or something, and it''d be an ''oh, there you are'' moment, like when the Lost Boys recognized Robin Williams as Peter Pan in the movie Hook. Too much had happened, or not enough. He couldn''t accept his friend had become a monster; he wasn''t willing to see his childhood friend in my eyes. And...I couldn''t blame him. I was losing myself. I didn''t want to admit it, to acknowledge it. I had taken a gun and mercilessly assaulted people based on a suspicion made in ignorance. Steve''s death might have been temporary, but I knew firsthand how those traumas carried over. Steve and Larry hadn''t deserved the trauma and violence I''d inflicted. It was barely a few days ago, loops ago, I was lamenting how quickly I''d abandoned my pacifism in the face of monsters. Pain and fear had made the violence seem like the only way forward, and I was wrong. Hands had asked if I was sure I was Sam. Jon had refused to believe I was Sam. I was already so far from the person I''d been that it felt like both had a point. Even asking people to call me Sam, some refused, and others quickly reverted to calling me Oberon, as though they were more used to that name. I was missing more than two months of memories in which I apparently preferred people to call me Oberon. The cold floor was hard beneath me and far from comfortable, but adjusting my position felt pointless. I needed those memories, and that was the least of the reasons I needed to find the shadow. But I couldn''t muster the energy to move. It all seemed so insurmountable. I kept failing, I was out of ideas, and I was just so tired of dying alone and suffering over and over. The idea of getting up off the floor felt impossible. Even considering it made my thoughts feel like fire. I reached over to my backpack and managed to snag a strap. I dragged it over and pulled out a book and bag of chips, wanting to shut out the realities of the world. Hands was out for himself and his own people. For a moment there, I thought he could be an ally. He''d offered up answers, even if it was mostly to clear his own name and avoid future battles with me. But he''d made it clear he didn''t care about helping anyone else. He''d also readily attack or kill me if I got between him and his goals. Hands, with more support, resources, and knowledge, was far more likely to find the shadow of the two of us. At which point, any hope of restoring my memories or body would vanish, as would my best bet for helping Jessica and Alice. It was also the only hint of an escape I''d come across, not that I was sure there was much point in leaving a time loop for a broken world. I couldn''t imagine life was much better outside the vortexes. Presumably, the same dangers existed out there, along with whatever else the world-enders had in their arsenal. So many people were depending on me and didn''t even know it. If my shadow was the single-use escape hatch that Hands believed, an entire city needed it if they wanted out of this time-loop hell. I worried that might also be why Sori was after it. I didn''t want the responsibility of safeguarding it. I wasn''t smart enough, wise enough, to know the right thing to do. I had never fully trusted Sori, but not because I thought he was malicious. If anything, I''d thought he had the innocence of insanity but was largely harmless. I still wasn''t sure he was malicious, but he was far more cold and calculating than I''d assumed. He may not have caused the apocalypse, but I was less sure of that than before. From what I''d seen from him, I didn''t think he''d be bothered by it anyway. My allies were gone or untrustworthy, my friend was out of reach, and my enemies were so far beyond me, that I only barely recognized the danger. I was isolated from everyone near me, isolated from who I used to be and wanted to be. I felt adrift and hollow. The chips tasted wrong. They got stuck between my teeth and tasted less flavorful than they should. Just another thing separating me from my past, I thought. The book had been a comfort read for me in the past, but I couldn''t focus on it. I looked in my bag for something else to distract myself, but it was all pointless shit. I hadn''t taken the end of the world seriously. I''d barely even tried. I pulled my things out faster and more violently as I went, not even looking as I whipped one item after another from my bag and against the wall in frustration. Snack bags burst, books tore, pencils snapped, and fidget toys shattered as I rage-emptied my bag, looking for anything with any point. Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. The noise I made must have attracted Slender Hopper because I heard its body leaping into a wall with a thud that echoed my tantrum. Fine. Fine. Fine, I thought grumpily as I stood up. I whipped the door open and glared at the creature, anger in my eyes, empty bag still in my hand. Fine. The ones who didn''t need me were the only ones I could maybe help. And if I was wrong, I''d just start over, and it wouldn''t matter. None of it mattered because there was nothing I could do about it. I''d told myself this lie before. I willed myself to believe it anyway. Slender hopper was just outside the door, inches from my face, and I barely dodged out of the way when it leaped at me. I didn''t hesitate after dodging out of the way; hunched over, I followed it, empty bag in hand, bat forgotten on the floor behind me. Slender Hopper saw me coming and immediately jumped at my face. If I''d flinched, it might have torn me apart, but I was too emotionally wrecked to rear back in surprise. Instead, I held the open bag before me, catching it mid-leap, front legs, and most of its body. The bag wasn''t small, but it still couldn''t fit the whole bug. Still, it covered its maw and gave me a chance to stuff most of it inside. Its back legs were more out than in, but I could hold the bag out to keep it from being able to slice me with its back legs. Its forelimbs weren''t as strong as its back legs and couldn''t burst through the bag. Its mouth could absolutely chew through the bag, so I''d have to make sure it couldn''t get a good mouthful. I only needed to keep it secured for a short while, just long enough to make it to the gremlins. Slender Hopper thrashed around as I held him at arm''s length like a stinky diaper or ticking bomb. Inside, I still hurt. I was still just distracting myself. I was still as afraid to try again as before. Even if it was stupid and pointless, it was the only thing they''d asked of me, and I needed a breath of their carefree lives. As I passed, I couldn''t help but notice that Tickles was still missing. Maybe it had started leaping into the vortex to escape since no one was around to attack. Or Maybe Jon''s group knew how to permanently kill ''demons.'' That was a scary thought, considering they barely seemed to distinguish me from the mindless creatures running around. It made me worry about Husband and Wife. It occurred to me that Husband was probably out foraging; it might just be Wife around. Not that I could really tell them apart. They looked very similar to each other. Husband had briefly been bigger than Wife, but for all I knew, Wife could grow as well. Part of the fun of the Gremlins was watching them interact and play off each other, so I was a little disappointed. Or I would have been if only one had been around. When I got close, however, three silhouettes were outside the makeshift hut, all sitting in the dirt. My brow furrowed, and I squinted to make out details. The largest of the three didn''t look the same. It had horns, a hunched back, a bright green aura, and human-looking hair. My uncertainty brought me to a stop halfway across the lot to their hut. Slender Hopper took my momentary pause to renew its efforts at escape. The horned head whipped around, and green eyes flashed, reflecting light like a cat''s. The movement changed the shape of the hunched back, and I realized it wasn''t a hunched-back creature; it was a winged Nia. My mouth dropped open in surprise. "Hmm, what? A noise?" Husband said in a rumbling voice, looking up. "Oberon!" Wife said. It might have been the other way around. They also sounded very similar, both speaking English with deep thrumming voices, even if they spoke to each other in chittering chirps. "Hi, Sam, umm, Oberon," Nia said shyly. "What''s in the bag?" "What friend Oberon have?" Husband asked "Oberon bring baby for Wife?! Wife is Mother!" Wife said, hopping up and down before erupting into a giant form. "Husband, Father!" Husband celebrated, his form expanding to match Wife at more than twice my height. "Oh, crap!" Nia said, scrambling to her feet. "Hush hush, Titania. Is new child friend! New family!" Wife¨Cor ''Mother'' I supposed¡ª said, patting the air in Nia''s direction. "We Mother, Father, and Baby!" I was still trying to get Slender Hopper under control and hadn''t managed to really react yet. As the Gremlins shot up in size, the trapped bug monster seemed to sense it and began to thrash even harder. One of its free legs whipped toward me farther than it had managed so far, and its bladed leg sliced my arm unexpectedly. It didn''t manage to do any real damage before I pulled my arm away, but I''d dropped one side of the bag on instinct. Slender Hopper pulled itself free of its bag and crouched to leap, but the Gremlins tackled it. I cringed, expecting to see bug guts when they got up. Instead, they wrestled between themselves for a second until they moved aside. Mother held Slender Hopper in two hands like she was holding a ¡­ uh, shake weight. Then, before I could gag, she shoved the entire bug into its mouth and swallowed. ''Mother'' patted her stomach. "Baby Hopper Yay!" "Good friend Oberon! Thank, good friend!" Father said. Nia stood with her mouth open, looking between the three of us. "What just happened?" ---= --=- 56 I Dont Regret It --=-Chapter 56: I Don''t Regret It--=- The Gremlins, for most of the time I''d known them, had been rambunctious little things, chirruping and running around like puppies; their antics never failed to make me smile. That very same behavior became something else entirely when the ''puppies'' were three times the height of a person and significantly more massive. Husband and Wife danced around each other, jumping up and down, chanting their new names of "Father" and "Mother" as they hopped and spun around with all the coordination of toddlers, their basso voices actually fitting their larger forms. The ground shivered with their antics as Nia and I backed away from the celebration. "Mother!" one boomed. "Father!" the other echoed. I assumed they were saying their own names, but in their jubilance, I''d lost track of which had eaten Slender Hopper. "Umm, you don''t think I should tell them that''s not how it works, do you?" Nia asked, glancing my way uncertainly. I managed a shrug. I definitely wasn''t drawing diagrams to explain it to them. Then again, these creatures weren''t exactly local. Who knew how things worked where they came from. Their enormous, temporary growth was already one impossible absurdity. What was one more? Besides, mosquitoes use blood for their eggs; maybe the Gremlins needed Slender Hopper for similar reasons. The pair of giants came crashing to the ground in front of their hut, rolling around and wrestling in the dirt. For a second, I was terrified they were about to ''do what bunnies do.'' Instead, they reverted to their smaller forms and came skipping over to Nia and me. They grabbed our hands and jumped up and down, chittering unintelligibly at high speeds and higher registers. It had become possible to actually tell the Gremlins apart in their smaller sizes. Mother, having eaten Slender Hopper whole, had a distended stomach, and it did make her look pregnant. Father hugged me and then ran over to hug Nia. At the same time, Mother hugged Nia and scampered over to hug me. I patted each awkwardly on the head. Releasing us, they hugged each other before running back to hug Nia and me again. It became a game. They scampered back and forth between us, competing to see how fast they could run back and forth, hugging us. All the while, they laughed freely. I felt something inside me unclench. Their joy, their antics, they were so uninhibited. I wasn''t even jealous¡ªWell, okay, I was jealous. I''d always wanted to be carefree. I never had been, even before the apocalypse. But I wasn''t envious. I didn''t want to take their joy for myself. I wished I felt that uninhibitedly giddy, but I also just appreciated that such joy was so readily embraced by the adorable creatures. They barely came up to my waist when hugging me, and I was glad I was wearing pants. I was surprised to see that they didn''t come up much higher on Nia. She had to be approaching Six feet tall. I hadn''t noticed that the first time I''d seen this form, but I had been panicked, dying, and lying down at the time. Apparently, the transformation also made her taller. Out of breath, Mother abandoned the game and clung to me, happily panting. "Oberon, thank for Baby Hopper!" she boomed, gripping me tightly. I hoped they knew what they were talking about. I''d feel terrible if the day looped and their hearts broke when Slender Hopper disappeared. Father released Nia and walked over to take Mother''s hand in his own, and together, they waddled back to where they were when I showed up. They sat down and looked expectantly between Nia and me. "Titania and Oberon come sit talk?" Father asked. He was also breathing heavier, if less raggedly than Mother. I looked over at Nia to see her reaction to all this. Her bat-like wings twitched, and she walked forward, sitting down. I followed her over and sat a couple feet to her right, but just like the first time I''d seen her in this form, she didn''t seem nervous about me. I''d been worried when Nia had disappeared. I''d done what I could to discourage her from facing Tickles, but I was drugged into delirium and had no way to actually speak. I also remembered her reaction to Tickles''s memory crystal. She''d panicked and hadn''t been able to make herself even touch it. Facing the terror it invoked must have been harrowing, but that torment wasn''t the only reason I''d tried warning Nia off. According to Sori, after a certain point in the merger of person and trauma, the union would become guaranteed, but not the final result. If the trauma wasn''t overcome, it would become the core of the new identity and twist her into a malicious entity. If it had gone wrong, her personality could match her devilish appearance. I''d keep an eye on her, but she seemed sane enough¡ªor as sane as anyone could be when playing with alien curiosities like the Gremlins. I didn''t know what Husband and Wi- what Father and Mother wanted, but I could make a guess. I''d left my bat back in the bathroom, though, along with most of the contents of my bag, so I didn''t have anything to draw with. The Gremlins just looked expectantly between Nia and me. Then Mother smacked herself in the head and chittered at Father, who got up and hurry-waddled behind their hut, which was actually coming together. It still had the tarp covering it, but the hut also had a frame on top that was being covered in long bundled grass as thatch. I couldn''t imagine the Gremlins had gotten so much accomplished in the short time since the day restarted. Somehow, they were keeping their little structure from being reset. Maybe it was related to their polished crystals? "It didn''t work, you know," Nia said softly to my left. "My memories didn''t come back like you said. I don''t remember you saving me. I just remember yesterday and¡­ some other stuff." She sniffed. "Dad saved me." she croaked, choking back tears. "I don''t regret it, even though you tried to stop me. He deserves to be remembered, even the end." If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. My heart ached for her, but, at the same time, it seemed too noble a sentiment to be the ravings of a monster who''d try to recreate her trauma using other people, so I was also relieved. As the worry left me, a memory bubbled up. ''Please, save my sister.'' The words echoed in my head. Nia had said them to me twice. Once when Crowseph had attacked and Alice had been left behind with Jessica. She''d died. The first time, however, Nia had looked just like this: wings, horns, and all. She''d asked me to save Alice. What else had she said? I''d been scared and confused and suffering. I''d died shortly after, and it was one of my first deaths, so I''d been distracted. My instinct was telling me this was important. I remembered it was odd how she''d phrased it. She''d known time would loop. The loop hadn''t been going on long, but she''d spoken like Alice was already dead, and she''d asked me to save her ''next time.'' Something had happened to Alice early on in the day then. But Alice was fine for most of the loops we''d interacted. Nia hadn''t wanted to face the day alone. And then her memory was wiped. The following loop, she started in the car with me, plain vanilla human and terrified. What danger had Alice been in, and why did Nia''s memory wipe change the fact? For the trillionth time, I cursed my inability to speak. It was at that point that Father returned with a stick about the length of my arm and handed it to me. The branch was stripped of bark and looked like it might have been sanded. It was straight and smooth, and the tip was charred as though used to stir a fire pit. Father sat next to Mother, taking her hand and looking at me with expectation. I looked around for a fire pit but didn''t see one. Father went out scavenging, so I supposed it could have come from anywhere. Nia leaned over toward me, not taking her eyes off the Gremlins. "What do they want?" she whispered. They wanted a drawing, which was fine because I had questions for Nia, and now I had something to draw with. It wasn''t a voice, but I''d find a way to get the question across. My confidence was maybe misplaced. Nia wasn''t getting it, and I could hardly blame her. First, I drew four stick figures. I drew a bow on the heads of three of them and a tie around the neck of the fourth. I wasn''t a fan of gender norms. Still, there were times when they made things easier, even if those times were mostly outliers, like when trying to draw a child''s specific family of four in the dirt. I didn''t even know if her dad wore ties or if her mother valued her appearance, but I didn''t really know much about either, so I drew them taller and holding hands. The other two stick figures with bows were supposed to represent Alice and Nia. Alice had seemed slightly offended when I''d given her stick figure a fro, which was fair, so I left it off this one. I made her stick figure taller than Nia''s, which I drew with horns as well as a bow. She raised a hand and sheepishly touched the curved black spikes sticking out of her skull like devil horns. Or, well, like bull horns, I supposed, if shorter. That part went smoothly. It was trying to get her to understand my question about Alice that was going nowhere. The Gremlins loved everything about it. They stood up and danced and spun in excitement, only pausing to crouch down when I started drawing something new. At which point, they''d celebrate again. "I''m sorry, I don''t understand," Nia said. I''d redrawn variations of the original picture, trying to represent Alice in unknown danger, but that hadn''t worked. I''d even drawn a stick figure of myself with and without a shadow to see if she knew anything about that, but she seemed just as confused. Maybe I was grasping at straws, but I was sure there was something in our first meeting that I was missing or lacked the context to understand. Try though I did, I couldn''t get her to understand. My frustration was growing despite the antics of the Gremlins being both entertaining and soothing. I liked it here and was glad I''d come. It had done my flagging spirit good. But it wasn''t a solution. It wasn''t an answer to the danger Jon, and Jessica, and Nia''s sister, and the rest were in. Things were broken, and I didn''t think they''d be able to save themselves without my help, and I didn''t know how to help. Mother finally plopped dizzy and exhausted onto her butt before spreading out her arms and half-laying, half-collapsing on her back in the dust, seeming wholly satisfied. She chirruped something to a spinning Father before closing her eyes and beginning to snore in a way that perfectly matched her rumbling speaking voice. In response, Father jumped in the air, clicked his heels together, and scurried into their hut. I was surprised when his head dipped below the level of the ground. Craning my neck, I realized they''d dug down into the ground as well, and using a pallet as a floor, they''d created a basement¡ªor, at least, a subfloor. Distracted from my efforts to communicate with Nia, we watched the door of the hut. Father came back out a moment later, holding three rounded and polished memory crystals. He handed them to me and then pulled back when I extended a hand, looking expectantly down at the dirt. Smiling a doggy grin, I drew a star in the dirt and then circled it, all without lifting the stick. That kind of thing seemed to excite the Gremlins the most. The polished stones fell to the dirt as Father''s eyes rolled up into his head, and he fell backward, a contented grin on his goofy face. I gathered up the crystals, an idea forming in my head. I should have asked for these from the start. After talking with Hands, I had a much better idea of how to create useful visualizations. --=- --== 57 Evil Child --==Chapter 57: Evil Child--== Hands had talked about his experiences as a Dolphin before the world ended and the capabilities of echolocation to share memories as discrete objects. It was out of this natural ability that he''d learned to store visualizations on the memory crystals. My previous attempts at creating visualizations were fine but were ultimately more like doodles than photographs. Rather than creating a visual that expressed all the important information, I should be able to store my memories directly. Memories were far from a perfect recording system. However, they would still contain more information than any visualization I made from scratch, especially details that might not seem important to me. Mother and Father snored loudly across the patch of dirt from Nia and me. I smeared the doodles and pictionary-like attempts to ask Nia about my Shadow and her Sister. Placing all but one of the crystals in my pocket, I drew a simple face and set the third on its forehead. From his head, I drew a thought bubble containing a happy little tree. Beside the smiley, I drew a second smiley, moved the polished crystal to its forehead, and drew the same thought bubble and tree. That should be clear enough to show her how to view the contents of the memory crystal, but I gave her a meaningful look and tried to gauge her understanding. "Ok?" she said uncertainly. Sharing her uncertainty, I picked up the rounded crystal and pressed it to my forehead. Rather than craft a visualization, I instead focused on remembering as much as I could about my first interaction with ''Titania.'' I''d been terrified, trying desperately to escape Slender Hopper''s onslaught. Nia''d interrupted the assault, but not in time to save me. I was bleeding out and afraid I''d be the cause of her death as well. Then, my fear for her turned into awe as she bodied the leaping monster using my backpack and practiced timing. After crushing its limp body with one of the lobby chairs, she''d gone to check on Maebe. Then she came over to comfort me and lament the deaths and her own isolation in facing the day. Again, something about that memory tugged at my attention while remaining out of reach, like the details in a half-remembered dream. Hopefully Nia would have more insight into what I saw. I tossed it to her gently. She used both hands and her body to catch it and still nearly dropped it. Suddenly growing most of a foot probably played hell on her coordination. Then again, maybe she just wasn''t athletic, though my memory of her crushing Slender Hopper made me doubt it. "It''s so pretty," Nia said, awe in her voice as she stared into the polished green gem. I supposed she was right; they were pretty. The swirls of light and shadow frozen within were stunning, especially when polished and not covered in gore. I mimed placing the stone to my head and looked meaningfully at the picture I''d drawn. I''d tried not to include too many gory details in the visualized memory, but there was no escaping that the contents would be rated at least PG13. "Oh, right, sorry," Nia said, crossing her legs and closing her eyes like she was going to meditate. It wasn''t necessary, but it shouldn''t hurt either. She pressed the stone to her head, and a shiver went through her. I didn''t remember shivering myself, but then again, she probably wouldn''t either, absorbed by the memory as she was. It was over quicker than I expected. It was only moments before Nia was lowering her arm again, tears welling up in her eyes. She tried blinking them away, but more welled up and rolled down her cheeks as she tried to speak. "I- I didn''t know. I didn''t know I''d been like this before. I didn''t mean for it to happen." She said as though pleading with me to understand. "I just wanted to remember. I didn''t want people to keep getting hurt because of me. I didn''t know I''d- I''d- I''d." And then Mother was there, up from where she''d sprawled in the dirt. Her dusty arms enclosed Nia''s head and neck in a hug that proceeded a sob breaking free. "Oh, oh, oh," Mother rumbled softly, petting Nia''s hair and pressing her face into her equally dusty shoulder. "Is ok is ok. Scary, scary, scary all go away. Mother here." Nia cried harder, and between one breath and the next, Mother was in her giant form, sitting beside Nia. She laid Nia''s head in her lap and continued to soothe her. I was left awkwardly staring on, unsure I had any way to comfort her. Mostly, I felt guilt. In the memory, I''d known I shouldn''t be asking a child for help in this nightmare. I''d known the contents of the memory wouldn''t be fun to watch. In my desperation, I''d forgotten. Maybe it would have been fine in other circumstances, but she was struggling with body image hell after an apocalyptic puberty, and that was likely the smallest of her problems. I stood up. Mother would take care of her. I needed to stop indulging my pain and fear; it was spilling over onto those around me. I walked over, put a paw hand on Nia''s head, and patted Mother on the arm before turning to walk away. "Wait." I heard Nia say before I''d made it more than a couple steps. "I um," she started. "Alice is¡ª or I mean, I think she might be in trouble." I stopped walking and turned around, waiting. Nia had sat up but was still looking down and blinking fast. Her mouth opened and closed several times as she tried to get the words out. This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. Mother came to her rescue again by picking up the polished memory crystal that Nia had dropped when she''d been overwhelmed. Mother gently held it out to Nia. "Hard thoughts fit here," Mother said. Nia nodded slowly at first and then more confidently as she picked up the crystal and pressed it to her head again. I hadn''t shown her how to craft the visualizations, though, so I took one of the other gems from my pocket, planning to do just that. A soft and sharp crack came from the crystal Nia held, and a green light burst from it in a small shockwave. I was impressed. It wasn''t that difficult a process, but even watching me, Nia wouldn''t have felt the internal effort of pushing the memory or visualization into the stone. She offered the stone up to me, and I crouched down to take it. My fingers touched the crystal, and the world froze. Colors inverted, and I saw Sori''s silver eye form floating between us. A tendril of light connected him to the crystal. Two more tendrils connected the crystal to my and Nia''s heads. I didn''t have time to question what was happening before the world vanished, and I found myself looking at my reflection in the window of the patrol car. Well, not my reflection. Instead, Nia''s shocked face looked back at me. I felt my arm reach up and watched her probe the horns protruding from her skull. She leaned in to get a better look at her green cat-like eyes before moving on to inspecting her wings. She didn''t seem to have control of them. They twitched and spasmed when he tried moving them, but she couldn''t stretch them. I could feel her surprise, but there wasn''t any of the distress in her emotions that she''d just shown. "Cool," she whispered, using her hands to stretch her wings out. She wrapped them around herself like a cloak, but when she let go, they pulled back behind her again. She shrugged her shoulders up and down while looking at the sky, and I could tell she was trying to fly. After a few seconds, she sighed. "It probably takes practice." She said to herself. Then the scene changed, skipping forward in a way I hadn''t considered when I''d made my visualizations. She was sneaking through a hospital hallway I didn''t recognize. Ahead, she saw the door to the chapel, and I felt her relax a little. "Made it," Nia said under her breath. She paused at the door and crossed her fingers before opening it cautiously. "Mom?" she asked, cracking the door open slightly. "Nia!?" A voice called back. Nia opened the door wider, relief and dread filling her simultaneously. There was so much she had to tell her mom, and tears started filling her eyes. "Mommy!" Nia sobbed, beginning to rush forward. The gasp of several voices could be heard as Nia became visible to others in the room. It was the first time I''d seen Pastor Kay, Nia''s mom. Her aura was the strongest I''d seen yet, but it wasn''t something Nia was registering. It wasn''t just a glow; it was like a living flame. Flickering green tendrils lashed about her in agitation, casting the world in an eerie lighting. "You!" Kay shrieked, her rush coming to a skidding halt as rage overcame her expression. "YOU! Let go of my daughter, demon filth! Kill it!" The last was directed over her shoulder at people kneeling on the ground. Kay pulled out a long butcher''s knife from her pocket, and I heard a gun cock a moment before a gunshot rang out. Wood chips flew from the door frame, and Nia screamed in fear, adrenaline flooding her veins. "Mom, it''s me! She said, stumbling back and turning to run. She was out of the doorway and out of sight of the shooter¡ªBuck, I was pretty sure, though Nia hadn''t been looking at the others in the room. "Stay here," Kay said to her congregation as she closed the door. Nia had run as far as the nearest intersection before turning back. "Mom, please, it''s me. It''s Nia. I''m not a demon." "Liar. Thief. Evil child. I''ll eat your heart. God curse you, swallow you in blood." Her motions were jagged, and she swayed side to side in twitching movements, gripping and regripping the blade in her hand. She looked utterly unhinged. Nia was crying, and I could only look on in heartbroken disbelief and fear. I''d be lying if I said it didn''t resonate with me in more ways than one. "Hush now. Mommy will cut out the rot." And Kay leaped forward, knife slashing. Nia shrieked and stumbled back before turning to flee. She hadn''t been cut, but the wound was deep. The memory faded, and I found myself standing at the rail of my stone ship, but not before I noticed a darkness at Kay''s feet. A shadow danced and writhed in a reflection of Kay''s aura. "Fuck." I swore, at a general loss for words. "What?!" A disoriented Nia said from behind me. "What?!" I repeated in surprise, spinning to find the source. "What?" Sori said, sounding more exasperated than anything. "Anyway, we need to talk." --== 58 You Liar ---=Chapter 58: You Liar---= My mind reeled at the cascade of realizations. Nia''s mom had the Shadow. She was also out of her goddamned mind. For some reason, I was back on the stone ship, and not alone. Sori had interrupted my viewing of Nia''s memory and, I could only assume, brought us both here for some reason. "Jesus, Sori, what the fuck?" I said, putting my hand on the rail as I turned away from the ocean. I wasn''t going overboard again if I could help it; last time had been too close. Nia''s eyes were wide, and she backed away as she looked around frantically."Who are you? Where am I?" Nia asked. It was a perfectly understandable reaction, considering nobody apart from Sori had ever seen my inner projection¡ª body or ship. In fact, to her, it probably felt like she''d been teleported to a strange plateau of an island, surrounded by an impossible sea just before a storm. The floating eyeball and my own unfamiliar appearance wouldn''t offer any comfort. "I''m doing what needs to be done," Sori said in an over-dramatic, gravelly voice¡ª as if pretending to be Batman. Walking backward in a strange place is a bad idea. Nia''s foot stepped off the lawn in front of the cobblestone cottage and onto the paving stone path. Sand coated the stones, likely blown over from the zen garden, and Nia wasn''t ready for the change in traction. Her feet went out from under her, and she fell hard on her butt. Ignoring Sori, I winced on her behalf. "You ok?" I asked, trying to sound soothing. The three of us formed a triangle. Nia was to my left, backing up toward the cottage/cabin at the back of the ship. Stern? Sori was to my right by one of the tree-masts. It made me wonder about his original entrance using the clouds and ocean, but then maybe that was all theatrics. Nia, who didn''t seem soothed at all, scuttled backward like a crab. "How did¨C" she began before running into the cottage door. She abandoned her question, quickly standing up and pulling on the door. Apparently locked, it didn''t open. "Nia, it''s ok," I said gently. I wasn''t sure that was actually true. I shot Sori a glare. I''d never trusted the eye much, but I also hadn''t attributed any maliciousness to it. Events lately had me worried I was wrong. "I know that I look different, but it''s me, Sam¡ª Oberon," I added, my hands spread out to my side as though inviting her to look and see. It didn''t really make sense, considering I didn''t look anything like the wolf, and she didn''t know my pre-apocalypse self well enough that she was likely to recognize the similarities. Not that I knew for sure there were similarities. The only mirror I''d seen in this place was Sori''s eyeball, and I hadn''t exactly examined myself in it. "And I''m Sori," Sori added, with a little bob in the air as if curtsying. At least, that''s how it looked to me. Nia seemed to take it as a threat. "Why?" She asked, sounding more scared than ever. "What are you going to do?" "Ah," I said, thinking¡ªnot for the first time¡ªI may have made a mistake choosing Sori''s name. "That''s the eye''s name. Sori. S-O-R-I." I was just glad the silver orb hadn''t manifested from columns of spinning plasma and storm cloud, like last time. "What is it?" she half whispered at me, never letting go of the locked door, as though hoping it would pop open for no reason. "I''m the one and many-" Sori began. "No, you''re not." I interrupted him, stepping away from the rail to interpose myself between him and Nia. "Stop telling people that." Nia had told me she didn''t share her mom''s beliefs, but I doubted any child would know what to believe when a chrome eye claimed divinity. "What?" Nia asked, her voice quivering with uncertainty. "You don''t know, I might be!" Sori protested, sounding petulant. "You''re not the only one allowed to have memory problems." "I don''t know what he is, if I''m honest," I said, ignoring the eye again. "Except that he''s a liar, or confused, or both." "I''m scared," Nia said, trying the handle again. "Why do you look different? Where are we? How did we get here?" She no longer sported the wings or horns. She was just a scared kid who''d rather get away than get answers. Unfortunately, I couldn''t really help her much with either. Which wasn''t the same as not being able to help at all. This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. "This place is like a dream. This is just what I look like in my own head. It''s the same for you," I said, pointing to my own head, where horns had been on ''Titania.'' Nia''s hand slowly felt at her head, and she checked for wings. She still looked afraid, but her eyes darted around, taking in the ship as she tried to decide what to do. "It doesn''t feel like a dream," she said, sounding unsure. Sori snorted. "Please, this place isn''t the dream. That''s where you just came from." I took a few more steps between Sori and Nia, not trying to approach her so much as trying to act as a buffer between her and the eye, as well as the more surreal aspects of this place. "Like I said, you can''t believe everything Sori says. What are you doing, Sori? Why''d you bring me here, let alone Nia?" "Bah, even without your Shadow, you''re harder to spot a leopard; those guys always wriggle free before I do more than a couple!" "Wait? You tried to actually ''spot'' a leopard?" Nia asked, her bafflement overcoming her fear for a moment. "Well, I wasn''t going to do stripes¡ªHey, don''t distract me," Sori said in the mother of all hypocrisies. To answer your question, Sam," Sori said, turning away from Nia and back to me. "I needed to use Nia as a reference point. The memory crystal helped too, but that was pretty much just coincidence¡ª unless, of course, I''m god, which doesn''t seem that far-fetched if you think about it." "Wait? God?" Nia interjected, hope in her voice. I could only groan as she went on. "Can you fix everything? Can you save the world? Can you make it go back to like it was. Bring everyone back? Please? Please!" I gave Sori a baleful look. "See, this is why you can''t go around pretending to be god." Sori scoffed, though I wasn''t sure who at. "The two of you. Why do you keep asking me to save your world? It''s fine!" "My mom¡­ She¨C she''s broken. My dad is gone, dead." Desperate, fearful hope filled her voice and eyes as she looked past me at the eye. "No he''s not. Well, yes, I suppose he''s gone, but he''s not dead. Or I guess¡ª I mean, it depends on what you mean by dead. Is your hair dead? If so, then I suppose, in that sense, he''s dead. Fine, from your perspective, he might be dead and gone. That''s such an egocentric view, though." "What do you mean? Dad''s not dead? He¨CNo, I saw¨Chis arm? But," Nia stammered, disbelief and pleading filling her voice in heartbreakingly equal measures. "Sori," I barked, my voice hard, and my back to Nia. "She''s twelve; don''t play with her. Why are we here?" "Who''s playing? Well, whatever, you don''t want to listen? Fine, I''m not supposed to be talking about that anyway. We''re here," Sori said, moving on, "because you''ve found your Shadow. And I need it. Strictly speaking, it''s only your Shadow because you got in the way of the light, which was really rude, by the way. Anyway. Give it to me." The trees whispered in the breeze, and the hull creaked as I gave the eye an incredulous look. "Even if I had it this very moment, which I don''t, just so you know. I feel like that''d be a pretty terrible idea." "Or would it be a genius idea!?" Sori said, excitement in his voice. "Think of it¡ª" "Is he really alive?!" Nia shouted in distress. "No, like I said, he''s really dead. It just doesn''t matter." Sori said, bobbing up and to the side to see over my shoulder. "Sori!" I snapped. "Stop. You''re being cruel. Leave her alone and speak to me." "Oh, I''m Sorry," Sori said sarcastically. "Here I was, thinking it''d be rude to ignore or lie to her." "Not as rude as abducting her and taunting her pain." I half turned to look at Nia and give her my gentlest look. "Nia, Sori gets confused. I don''t think he knows what''s real. All I know about him is that he''s got his own agenda, and he''ll say whatever pops into his head. The floating eye rolled up and around. "Wow. Do you know what a jerk you sound like? You don''t want to be here? Say the word, and I''ll send you back. And by ''word,'' I, of course, mean your word that you''ll give me the Shadow." "Sure. It''s all yours," I lied. "Send Nia back." "Rude, you liar," Sori said without skipping a beat. "What do you really want? Let''s make a deal." ---= --=- 59 Escape With Who? --=-Chapter 59: Escape With Who?--=- "A deal?" I asked, sounding maybe half as skeptical as I was. "From what I can tell, everyone who knows about my Shadow wants it, and Hands, at least, really doesn''t want you to get a hold of it. I''m not sure you can offer anything more valuable than escape." Sori snorted. "Escape to what? Escape from what? Escape with Who? Who would even go with you? You realize that, since you got trapped in here, nobody has died permanently? Nobody''s grandpa, nobody''s accident-prone cousin. Cancer and disease are gone; everyone''s body has been made whole-" It was my turn to snort. "How many have been made into crows or chased by embodiments of traumas they can''t escape? How many are trapped in endless, inescapable death-cycles like Larry and Steve? How many, like Jon, have family they care about on the outside? Humans will look for advantage in any situation, and some may choose not to leave, but even they would still want that freedom to choose." Nia had curled in on herself as Sori had given her hope and then shredded it with confusion. She was crouched, head between her knees, crying softly. If she weren''t still clinging to the doorknob as a lifeline, I suspected she''d be in the fetal position. "Sam, Sam, Sam," Sori said, somehow managing to give me a pitying look¡ª despite being an unchanging metallic eye. "You can''t save them. Not most of them. They don''t want you to. Many of them specifically won''t want you to save them. Haven''t you learned that yet?" The sound of wind blowing through the leaf-sails, and waves breaking against the hull, created a lapping susurrus as I gave the eye a baleful look. He was pissing me off, and I could feel the muscles in my cheeks twitching, trying to peel back my lips to show my teeth in annoyance and anger. Apparently, whatever I looked like, not all my canine instincts were gone in this place. I hadn''t had much success using emotional illusion on Sori before, but I''d had some practice since then. He''d probably notice when I used it, but as he had pointed out previously, knowing it was manipulation didn''t stop it from working¡ªon humans anyway. I considered how Sori seemed to view me. He''d accused me of breaking the trash collectors; he''d spoken about me getting in the way. The moment we''d met, Sori had dropped a glamour on me to manipulate me. I was a bug in the system he was trying to fix; the pea under his mattress he needed gone. He also seemed to need my willing assistance. I was a problem he was trying to fix, but also the source of the solution he needed. I allowed myself a sigh and crouched down, resting my arms on my knees but not taking my eyes off Sori. I decided I''d try for resigned capitulation. Sori hadn''t believed me when I''d lied before, but he''d hopefully be less resilient when I included a matching glamour. "You think I don''t know it won''t be hard? You think I haven''t been paying attention?" I asked, the frustration coming easily. I glanced over my shoulder. Nia had let go of the door handle at some point, and her face was smudged where she''d wiped away tears. She was also crouched and still leaned against the door. Her eyes wandered around the ship, only flicking back to me when she noticed me looking. I gave her a wink, trying to provide some discreet comfort, but judging by her expression, it didn''t work. "Not just hard, Sam. Impossible. You''d be lucky to get one in three of the people in Forest Lake to follow you, and that''s if you had all the time in the world and no enemies trying to steal the Shadow for themselves." I let my shoulders slump. "I can''t just do nothing. You said you wanted to make a deal." I unleashed the glamour I''d been building and cast it at the eye. "Give me a show of good faith, and send Nia back." I focused on appearing defeated, on giving Sori a false sense of victory, of domination. A tendril of light connected us, but Sori gave it no mind. "I could probably do that," Sori said with a bob in the air. "Then again, that doesn''t seem like a very good incentive. How about instead¡ª" Nia began to hyperventilate. I looked back over my shoulder. Her eyes were wide, and rather than wandering, they darted around the ship as though looking for escape. I saw her gaze linger on the rail. For a second, I was sure she was about to leap over the side. "No!" I shouted, standing up. This place was a mystery to me, but that ocean had always felt dangerous. My shout made her jump in fright, and her eyes locked onto the cellar doors. One moment, the doors were closed; the next, they stood open. This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it. Sori can change things here, I realized. It shouldn''t have been a surprise. I''d seen him control the clouds and plasma last time he was here. Opening a door was hardly more difficult, except perhaps for the suddenness of it. Nia bolted, racing down into the basement/cargo hold. For a second, I didn''t understand why she''d suddenly gotten so scared. Then I realized, I wasn''t the only one using a glamour. I''d assumed Sori would use it on me¡ª or was even trying to, but wasn''t empathetic enough to understand my distrust of him was growing. I didn''t understand why Sori wanted Nia down there, but then I remembered my last visit to this ship. Nia wasn''t necessarily the only stowaway on my ship. I''d seen someone else here the last time I''d opened the cellar door. They''d been entirely shadowed and sent me falling into the Plasma waves of the ocean below. It seemed like a safe bet that it had been Nia''s mom. Somehow, my Shadow had let her access this place. The demented look Kay had given Nia before trying to slash her with a blade flashed through my head. Nia looked like an ordinary child here, but I wasn''t sure Kay was lucid enough to notice. Especially if she ran into Nia in the dark. Kay had tried to kill me here, and I should have just looked like some guy. "Dammit!" I snarled as I stood and hurried over to the still pitch-black cellar. Behind me, Sori giggled like a girl at a sleepover at one in the morning, like he was trying to be quiet but found it all too funny. It was as dark down there as I''d remembered, and I again looked around for a flashlight or lantern. This time, I wasn''t spooked and distracted. Hanging on the wall was an ancient-looking flashlight with a plug on one end for recharging. It was an identical copy to one that had hung on the stairwell to my grandma''s basement. "Nia?" I called as I flicked on the flashlight and stepped carefully onto the wooden steps. My feet ground sand into the wood with each step. The chill air of the basement felt like walking into a freezer. The musty smell had me breathing shallowly, and yet each breath sounded loud in the stillness of the dark. "Sam," Sori whispered from directly behind me, making me jump and almost slipping down the last few steps. "Dammit Sori!" I spat, "Why the fuck are you doing this? She''d a kid, and you seem to be taking delight in tormenting her." "Uh, Sam, I''m delighting in tormenting you. Isn''t that what friends do? Just a little light ribbing between pals." "Jesus Christ." I sighed. The eye was insane. It wasn''t new information. His very identity had been all over the place since I''d met him. Even so, I hadn''t wanted to believe he was dangerous, or at least not malevolent. "Oh my god, Sam. Relax. The girl is fine. You wanted me to show her the exit, so I did. Is it my fault if you stupid apes are so easy to manipulate with fear?" Sori said, sounding exasperated. "You give her too little credit anyway. Sure, she''s scared, but she wouldn''t have become Titania if she wasn''t able to overcome that fear." The stairs opened up onto a basement that was dim but not black. There were port holes that let the glow of the plasma in. The light wasn''t bright, and rather than illuminate anything, the port holes mostly just created more shadows and silhouettes. "Nia?" I called again. It took effort to speak above a whisper. This place was too creepy. The basement wasn''t large; there were just two rooms. The stairs led down into a storage space with a doorway leading toward the front of the ship. The second room had more portholes, and one of the walls had a long workbench that looked worn and well-used, but there were no tools or supplies out to suggest what it was used for. Nia wasn''t there either. "What exit?" I finally asked Sori, who seemed content to let me waste my time looking around. "Oh, right, I forgot you can''t see it all. Go back to that other room, I''ll show you." Skeptical, I walked back into the first room. There was an orange glow coming through the doorway that I couldn''t explain. When I got close, I lowered my flashlight. There was another doorway, one that hadn''t been there before. It looked like it should have exited through the back of the ship. Instead, there was a path, a hallway that gave off an orange light. Nia was no more than two steps into that path but utterly still. Even her hair trailed unmoving behind her. "Now," Sori said, "maybe you''re finally ready to listen." --=- --== 60 Youll Need a Voice --==Chapter 60: You''ll Need a Voice--== "Sori," I growled, my fists clenching. "What is this?" Nia was mid-stride, only feet in front of me. "I told you. It''s the exit. Then again, I also told you to relax; I guess you''re just a bad listener." Sori said, his voice still light as if joking¡ª as if none of this mattered. "If you use fear to manipulate people, you can''t expect their reaction to be relaxed." I snapped; I knew I was undermining my own illusion, but I hadn''t seen any sign of it working anyway. Tentatively, I reached out toward Nia, but the doorway seemed to have a barrier over it. It looked similar to the shield-buttons Sori gave me to help with Crowseph. "Duh, that''s why I used fear on Nia, not you. You''re the one I''m reasoning with; she was just my way in. Oh, and look, I was her way out." Sori said, sounding pleasantly surprised. "She looks trapped, not free," I said darkly. I wanted to do something; I wanted to make the eye deeply aware none of this was ok. "Oh, of course. I had to pause her passage, or all of Forest Lake would get destroyed." That pulled me up short. "Umm, what?" "Sure. I''ll do whatever you want. You want the girl to escape? We can do that. It''ll trigger scrub protocols, and everything inside the Vortex will be wiped clean, but hey, maybe you think that''s an acceptable price to free one innocent into whatever waits for her out there. I guess that won''t be her family." "I...I feel like I''m missing something¡ª No, multiple somethings. This isn''t real. That''s not her real body. That''s not a real door. Right?" "I mean, real, not real, that''s a blurrier line than you think. But set that aside. Do you really think moving a sleeping body the length of a football field is somehow a challenge? Grow up, Sam." My jaw clenched. This is not ok. I desperately wanted to impress that on the eye, but I''d seen how it responded to Hands assault. I didn''t have that kind of control here, and even if I did, Sori had barely been inconvenienced by the Dolphin''s attack. What''s more, Sori had just shown me he did have that kind of control, more than me anyway. "This is what Hands wants, isn''t it?" I said, my mind looking for a path forward, even if it was just gathering information. "But, I thought he needed the Shadow to escape." "I''m better than a stupid Shadow. I''m a whole eye!" Sori said with a snort. "Anyway. If Hands used the Shadow to leave, the Vortex wouldn''t collapse. In fact, it would let Forest Lake live on forever, probably. Pristine and unchanged, it would continue without errors popping up all over the place, messing things up for everybody." "Errors, like our lingering memories?" I said, piecing some things together. "You want me to ''fix'' the ''trash collectors'' so things can be reset perfectly. You''d have us living the same twelve hours on repeat, unchanging and unremembered? The Shadow can somehow fix things?" Sori bobbed upward momentarily as though throwing up his hands in exasperation. "Finally, he understands." It was one blow after another. "How is that anything but a nightmare?" I whispered, staring at the frozen girl. "It might be for some, well, no, it will be for some. For others, it''ll be paradise, not many, but some. The point is, neither will know. It''ll just be a day, good or bad. The last day, for better or worse." "Worse, obviously for worse." "I don''t see how. In fact, I don''t see how this is any different than the world you already lived in. Life is a brutal reality; just ask all your ancestors who were eaten alive or starved to death, who died in agony or desperation. None of the things you want to stop are avoidable in life. Pain is a feature, not a bug. Your anxieties? Your sensitivities? They''re the traits that got you and your people this far, but they can''t ever stop your life from being a struggle. It''s what your minds evolved to do; no amount of predictability or civilization can change that. The only difference here, is the experiences aren''t novel, and no one experiencing them will know that." Sori said, almost sounding desperate, almost sounding lucid. If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. "Our choices have mean-" "No! They don''t!" Sori snapped, and my already racing heart took it up a notch. "There is no such thing as meaning, and your choices have never meant anything. Everything just is. Or isn''t. Anything else is delusion." "Consequences exist," I growled through clenched teeth. "Sure, consequences that are mostly beyond your control and ability to foresee or even recognize. That won''t change either." Sori said, suddenly sounding tired. "You''ll still make choices not knowing their results and not accurately predicting your own future. But if you prefer, you could just let things end here. I''d understand and wouldn''t judge you for it. I''ll even let you go through that doorway and join Nia if you like. Her odds of survival out there could only go up." I wondered if I was imagining the hope in his voice at the suggestion. "How is that an acceptable outcome for you? Wouldn''t it kill you too? How is either choice something you''d support? Utter destruction or perfect preservation? Sori, why? Why any of this? What are the vortexes? Where did you come from? Can you finally tell me?" Sori was, remarkably, quiet for a few seconds as he seemed to think. "You know how... you know how people can love without understanding the chemical mechanisms involved? I think it''s like that. I don''t know. I don''t know why I know what to do. I don''t know how this came about. I just know the heart wants what the heart wants. And if I can''t freeze this day in reality, I know it''ll be so fun to watch it all be atomized." And the excitement I''d come to expect was back in his voice. Sori had never been stable, or consistent, but this was a darker touch of that madness than I''d seen before. "These are lives¡ª unique experiences not seen anywhere else in the universe. You''d erase them for fun?" Sori snorted. "Don''t pretend humanity doesn''t understand that kind of fun. If you don''t personally, it''s your ignorance, not mine. Anyway. It doesn''t have to be that way. I didn''t really expect you to let Forest Lake get atomized to save one child. I told you I want to make a deal. It might be fun to watch all the atoms of this place be scattered, their energy absorbed. But it''d be better to preserve at least some of it. That doesn''t work so long as you''re here. So you need to go, and you need to take your Shadow with you." I wanted to take a swing at the orb. "That''s what I''m fucking trying to do! You''re just getting in the way." "Yeah, but, well, you''ve had the chance to leave before, and you never took it, even when you had people pressuring you for a way out. You seem to think you can save everyone, and Sam, what I''m trying to explain is, you can''t. I know you want to; I know you''ve seen endless stories where, with enough strength of will, there''s always a way out. That''s the wrong lesson. Every moment of life is a struggle if you''re living it. That''s the real lesson. Struggle will never lead to paradise. It always leads to these outcomes: conservation, destruction, or more struggle. They all have a price." By the end, Sori''s voice was almost gentle, and I wished I knew what was going on with him. "The price of conservation is the lack of change," I started, trying to understand his reasoning, even if it was unhinged. "No," Sori said, as though frustrated at a poor student. "That''s the feature. The price is those stuck in misery with no path forward, the people at the bottom whose situation is simply accepted as unavoidable." "Unacceptable. The price of destruction is obviously..." I started, before trailing off, realizing that I was about to confuse feature and price again. "If the end is the point of destruction, Then the price is what''s left." "In a way, it''s another form of conservation. It''s an abdication of responsibility for change or influence of the world." "And also unacceptable." "Then, what''s left, as I knew it would be, is struggle. This is always the path forward. Ultimately, it''s the only path forward, but its price is also the highest. This is the path that created predators. This is the path of unceasing effort that results in misery, that selects for anxiety, and that developed depravity." I didn''t disagree. People like to believe, or at least pretend, that their lives¡ª their destinies¡ªare their own. The more I learned about myself and humanity as a whole, the more I recognized the effects of generational trauma that probably extended farther back than humanity itself. "If you agree it''s the only path forward, why are you trying to preserve the town in an unchanging time loop? Why not work with me to get everyone out?" "Why do parents catch their children when they fall? Why do people resist driving into oncoming traffic? Why does a fly with a lifespan of a day avoid being swatted? Fear, of course. And a hefty bit of self-delusion, if I''m honest. And I am helping you. Hands may not trust me, but he''d take you and leave if I stopped hiding the Shadow from him." "Wait, you''re hiding the shadow from Hands?" "Not just Hands," Sori said, sounding exasperated. "I may not have known where it was, but I was able to mask it from most. It only helps me if you use it. But it doesn''t have to be voluntarily. I want you to be able to choose. I like you, Sam." Sori said, with a sigh and a small shrug-like bob. "But it doesn''t change anything. I told you I wanted to make a deal. So here it is. One year and one day. You can''t save everyone, but you won''t give up trying. It''s part of what made Hands abandon you. I won''t give you forever to try. I can''t. But I can give you a year and a day, and one other thing as well, but¡­." Sori trailed off, and his eye turned slightly to look past me at Nia''s unmoving form. Then he sighed. "But there''s a price. Nia stays here. She stays as a promise, as a guarantee, and for a purpose. You''ll need a voice after all." --== 61 Ill make it quick ---=Chapter 61: I''ll Make It Quick---= I woke up on the dirt patch outside the Gremlin''s hut. It was impossible to know how much time had passed, but according to Sori, there should still be time in this loop to get things done. I wasn''t sure that it wouldn''t be a better strategy to wait till the start of a new loop so I could act before Kay could organize her cultists, including Jon. Maybe another person would, and maybe I would too, if it weren''t for Nia. She''d asked me to help her sister. "Oberon nap done?" Mother asked, looking up from a hole she was digging in the dirt next to her hut. She was covered head to toe in mud, and it caked her clawed fingers. "Yeah, I''m done napping for now," I said, Nia''s light voice incongruously coming from my canine mouth. My mouth moved more or less in time with the words, but played no part in actually shaping the sounds. Instead, her voice emanated from the end of my muzzle, manifested through some power of Sori''s. I just mouthed along with the words. Partly to make it more obvious that I was the one speaking, but it was also instinctual in some way¡ªlike a child mouthing the words while learning to read. The Gremlin''s head pulled back in surprise, and her head tilted side to side in confusion. "Oberon? Titania?" Mother rumbled, looking between Nia and me. "Oberon eat Titania voice?" "It''s a long story," I said. "Titania is trapped in a dream. I had to borrow her voice to try to help." Mother''s dirty hands went to her face in alarm. "Oh no! Titania trapped? Poor trapped Lady! Oberon, help, yes!" she boomed, her surprised voice loud enough to echo off the hospital like a peel of thunder. I half expected Father to come hurrying over at the exclamation, but he must have gone scavenging or something while I was out. "I will help her, I promise," I told the Gremlin, my voice as incongruously high as hers was deep. "I can''t take her with me, though; it''s dangerous. Will you watch her for me? Make sure no monsters or strangers bother her?" "I keep safe. You go help! You want Father help? He major big strong!" Mother said, looking around, trying to spot him. It would almost be tempting. As giants, the gremlins were definitely intimidating. Unfortunately, in that form, Father would have to basically crawl through the hospital, and he''d be stymied by doorways. Maybe he could make it work, but I had a voice, even if it wasn''t mine. Kay was almost certainly beyond reasoning with, but I should have a chance with Jon, Jessica, and the rest. That chance would dwindle if I came in with a giant monster lumbering behind me. I stood up and dusted off my black scrub pants the best I could. I took a deep, steadying breath. "No. I have to go into the hospital. Better if he stays outside. He can help protect Nia." Mother didn''t look happy, but she nodded and huffed reluctant agreement. The smart plan was to wait for the start of a new day and bring Father and Mother along. They''d be like giant bears lumbering down narrow corridors. Kay would retreat to my Shadow, and I could follow her and reclaim it. ''Please, save my sister'' echoed through my memory. Nia was trapped for no other reason than she was trying to help me. More importantly, for better or worse, I had her voice. Having gone so long without one, I knew I had a responsibility to listen and hear. I took a deep breath and looked across the parking lot at the hospital. The air was as still and quiet as it had been seen the first time I''d woken up as Oberon. For once, that stillness didn''t feel ominous so much as it did¡­ anticipatory. After crouching to rest a paw on Nia''s head in a promise, I stood and loped off across the parking lot. Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. Kay had snapped, according to Sori. He started referring to her as ''Bogey-Kay.'' It wasn''t just Nia she''d attacked. Apparently, while I kept dying and Nia wasn''t transformed, Bogey-Kay had been able to keep up a mask. But with ''Titania'' making an appearance, she''d snapped again. Alice was in danger, the same danger Nia had tried to tell me about at the start. I kept low as I crossed the parking lot. If I got very lucky, I could sneak in and make it to the Chapel without being seen. Even if Sori was lying or confused about Alice being in danger from Kay, Alice was still in danger from Crowseph''s spawn. And she wasn''t the only one. I couldn''t afford to wait, but I also couldn''t afford to hold back. I approached the patrol car at a decent speed. There''d be no avoiding avian eyes, but if I was quick and kept low, I might get supplies together before raiding the hospital. I popped the police car into neutral and pushed it forward. In less than a minute, I''d opened the trunk, loaded the shotgun, thrown on the vest, and rushed onward. There were several ways into the hospital. If Kay knew anything about me, she at least knew my spawn, which meant the lobby entrance would be watched. If I were the only threat, the front door would be a good choice, but that entrance was very near the Chapel; no doubt it was also guarded. The ER wouldn''t be guarded by Kay''s cultists, but Crowseph''s hive wouldn''t likely let me pass unremarked. Plus, I didn''t need to make this more complicated than it was. When running from the unknown gunmen in Surgery, I''d come to a four-way intersection. I''d chosen not to go straight since it wouldn''t break line of sight. Instead, I''d turned right and set things off with Crowseph. If I had gone straight, I''d have run through a small reception area, then through an exit. It was a smaller entrance and would hopefully get less attention than other entryways. I ran with the shotgun held tightly to my chest like I''d seen in movies. Presumably, there was a reason they ran like that, but I was just copying something I only half recalled. I shouldered my way through the automatic door while it petered along, then loped through another doorway into the outskirts of Surgery and ER. Hopefully, the fact that this was basically no-man''s land would give me a little cover. I didn''t pause to find out. I couldn''t risk going through the ER again, so unless I wanted to trap myself or turn back, my path was set. I sped down the hall, only stopping to look in Surgery''s waiting room. Not even Mr. Peterson was inside. My guess that they''d all set their spawn in or near the Chapel seemed to have been spot on, or at least, they''d set it somewhere else. I skipped past the elevators. The last time I''d used one, I''d opened the door to be shot by Aquarium Guy. If he and Hands were playing it straight, that was probably done by Kay using my Shadow in some way to control Guy while his mind was elsewhere. Whether they were being honest or not, neither were my allies in this endeavor. Besides, elevators were noisy kill boxes. If they were even kind of watching for me, an unavoidable ambush would likely wait at the bottom. They might be ready by the stairs, too, but at least I''d have space to maneuver. Or at least that''s what I told myself as I closed on a stairwell I hadn''t seen anyone use yet. If I remembered right, it should also open up right next to the Chapel. I hit the push-bar at speed and shouldered the door open. The door slammed against the wall and echoed throughout the brick stairwell, sounding like a gunshot. It made me wince, but I knew speed was more important than stealth. There were too many approaches and not enough people to play guard. Or maybe just not enough guns. Either way, they couldn''t watch everything without cameras, and they wouldn''t have radios to direct people. At least, the patrol car radio was only static. It was a gamble, but gambles were all I had left. Still, however quick I''d moved, whatever cleverness I thought I''d used, it didn''t stop Jon from finding me. I was barely through the door, still cringing at the sound of my own rush, when gunfire rang out. I was lucky I was wearing a vest because one of the shots took me in the chest just above my shotgun. I rolled to my left, braced the gun against my shoulder, and pointed it down the stairs. It took all my self-control to keep from squeezing my eyes shut at the pain in my chest. Vest or not, getting shot sucks. "Goddamit, Jon!" I yelled, laying with my back against the stairs to the third floor, gun pointed down the length of my body. I didn''t want to shoot Jon, but to be fair, he''d shot me several times first. I''d only caught a glimpse of him before he shot, too. He didn''t seem to be hesitating much himself. "Shit, it talks. I was told you were mute." Jon called up the stairs, his voice even, calm, almost smug. The shots had been loud enough that my ears still rang, but maybe Jon knew a technique to avoid that. Or maybe he wore earplugs. Either way, he didn''t seem to be having any problems hearing. "But that''s not Sam''s voice; I think we both know that. In fact, I''d put money on that being Nia''s voice. Which tells me you had something to do with that little girl''s disappearance. I guess Alice was right. Fucking monsters. Why don''t you pop your head up, and I''ll make it quick." ---= --=- 62 Ask Me Anything --=-Chapter 62: Ask Me Anything--=- I tugged at the vest in discomfort, but it didn''t really help. My chest stung where it had caught the bullet. Pulling away the vest didn''t change that; it just seemed like it should. "You''re a stupid bastard, you know that Jon?" Nia''s voice said as I mouthed the words. "Oh, no. The demon with the stolen voice is mad I gave it a booboo. How can I ever live with myself?" "Would you just shut up and listen, you fucker." I snapped." I am Sam. I''ve known you since we were kids. We both had a crush on Erin C. in middle school. I cheated off your homework for basically all of biology in high school, and we barely passed. We were on our way to your parents'' cabin when I made us crash. We''ve been roommates for¨C" "Jesus Chri¨C just shut up. I loved Sam. You aren''t them. I doubt you ever were. Either way, we''re past that now. This is God''s retribution, His judgment. You''re cursed, spewed from God''s mouth. Your words are hollow, meant only to twist the truth. Is that how you stole Nia''s voice? You made her trust you and then took everything?" "Fuck, man, just ask me something. Ask me anything. What do I need to do? Open your damn eyes, we don''t have time for this." "Father of Lies, whispering deceit in any willing ear," Jon spat. His parents had always been the religious ones; Jon had just been good at saying the right words. Between the apocalypse and joining team chapel, it seemed like Jon had found a faith he''d never really had before. "Fine, if you''re not coming to me, I''ll come to you." He said, cooly. Swearing to myself, I crab-walked backward up the stairs with one hand, using the other to point the gun in the general direction Jon would come from. There wasn''t time to convince him, but I had to try. "I can show you!" I half shouted, reaching into my pocket for one of the polished memory crystals. I had two left. I wasn''t sure what had happened to the one Sori used to piggyback Nia and me into the Ether, but if it hadn''t shattered, it was lying in the dirt back there. I heard the scuff of Jon''s feet as he climbed the stairs. "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name. Get thee behind me, Satan, and shut thy damn mouth." I was scrambling to get a visualization formed, a childhood memory. I thought back to high school, the summer before our freshman year. Jon had gotten it into his head that I was going to grow out of being a dude since he''d started noticing the ways my body had been developing, to my immense embarrassment. He couldn''t get it into his head that his feelings of attraction toward me didn''t define a damn thing about me. His feelings didn''t get to dictate anything about me. When it came to my own body, my subjective experiences trumped his. Of course, we were kids, so I didn''t understand that well enough to put into words, let alone words that would have gotten through to another kid. Instead, I kicked the crap out of him in front of a bunch of kids from school. He didn''t speak to me for the rest of the summer, and then, on the first day of class, he mumbled, "Sorry, Dude," while walking past my desk to sit right beside me. It wasn''t a fond memory, necessarily. Even if the pain had long since faded from that time, there''d been a lot of anger in those weeks we didn''t speak. There''d also been regret¡ªnot about who I was, just how I handled things. I wished I''d kicked his ass in private, at least. What''s more, I knew he regretted it; he counted the entire summer as a waste, even though it was only the last few weeks we''d spent that way. I always figured it was his way of regretting indulging his fantasy even before we fell out. I needed to remind him we''d been here before. He was feeling and not thinking, refusing to think even. I shoved as much of the memory into the crystal as I could in the moments I had. It flashed, and the mental strain eased, feeling like a sudden epiphany. If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. "Jon, listen. I can prove it! I can prove who I am! Just press this crystal to your forehead," I said, rolling the polished stone down the stairs. I winced at every bounce. The crystals weren''t indestructible. I was hoping these ones wouldn''t break as easily since the edges were rounded away, but I had no way of knowing. "Is that how you stole Nia''s voice? Magic crystals?" Jon said, his voice still casual. The crystal bounced loudly down one step after another until it was about at Jon. "Catch it, please! It''s a memory from that time I beat your ass in front of Frederick and them. Just press it to your forehead." More urgency filled my voice than I liked, but there was nothing to be done for it. Jon snorted. "Oh, I see, so it''s how you took Sam''s memories. Did you tell Sam you were me? How did you earn their trust?" The crystal kept clacking along, passing Jon and bouncing down to the first floor. "Damn it. I know you remember that summer. I know you regretted kissing me that day." I''d continued backing up the stairs and was approaching the third floor before I switched from a crab walk to a low crouch. "Kissing should always be consensual," Jon said, sounding like he was nodding in agreement. "I''m not embarrassed that I learned that lesson young. Just because ''kissing'' and ''killing'' are spelled almost the same, doesn''t mean they are almost the same. Killing is rarely consensual; sometimes, you just got to put down a rabid animal. Sorry, Yeller, you''re madder than a hatter. I ain''t never kissed a dog." Jon had stopped walking as the crystal bounced toward him, and I got the impression from the sound of his voice he was watching it pass. I took the opportunity to pop up and get a look at him. He was telling me his thoughts, but I needed to see his face to be sure I understood what he was feeling. It wasn''t the best moment for a glamour, but if I could avoid shooting him, I would. His face was blank, like he was somewhere between unimpressed and uninterested. I''d think he was a drone if he weren''t so talkative. I''d seen this mask before. He feigned confidence, or at least unconcern, but his body language told the real story. His shoulders were tense, and his jaw clenched. His knuckles were white from gripping his pistol too hard, and his eyes tracked the crystal. He wasn''t watching the crystal from curiosity; he was watching it with suspicion. He buried it beneath machismo, but he was scared¡ª both unwilling and afraid to believe things were more complicated than they appeared. Between my backpedaling and his own cautious approach, Jon was almost a floor beneath me. While he was approaching the second floor, I was almost at the third-floor landing. He''d surprised me by catching me in this stairwell, and I hadn''t been ready. Thankfully, his caution gave me the chance I needed to turn things around on him. In another circumstance, I''d be trying to figure out how to turn Jon''s fear into sympathy or understanding. Eventually, I might have that opportunity. Unfortunately, between Jon''s gunshot and accurate prediction of my approach, there likely wasn''t much time before Buck, and possibly a bunch of melee-armed cultists, came as backup. Instead, I''d use glamour to ratchet that anxiety up to panic. The last time I''d jumped at Jon, he''d expected it and tracked me with his gun. This time, I took steps to disturb that focus. Taking three quick breaths to steady my own nerves, I let loose a wordless battle cry and leaped over the rail. It would have been more impressive if I didn''t sound like a child, but I wasn''t done. I understood Jon''s fear, fear of the unknown, fear of the unexpected, fear of me. His gun rose to track me, but I pulled the trigger on the shotgun as I leaped, and he couldn''t stop himself from flinching. The spread didn''t hit Jon, but only because I''d intentionally aimed away and far over his head. The blast was loud, however, and I used it to turn his anxiety into terror as I unleashed my glamour. Blue light connected our heads, and Jon''s face paled. Flying over the empty space between the stairs, my body smashed into Jon, sending the shotgun clattering to the ground. My foot struck the metal railing as my shoulder hit Jon, but he took the vast majority of the impact. I landed on top of Jon, and he gagged as the wind was knocked out of him. His eyes rolled in fear, and I reached into my pocket to grab my last memory crystal. "Let''s try this one more time," I growled in Nia''s voice. --=- --== 63 I Thought Youd Learned --==Chapter 63: I Thought You''d Learned--== Jon struggled beneath me, but unlike Nia and the drones, his strength was ordinary and no match for a werewolf''s. Both of our guns had skittered across the floor when I''d crashed into him, leaving him at the mercy of my strength. Of course, I wasn''t trying to actually hurt him, so he was proving himself slippery. It would be different if my attention were all on him, but I had one paw-hand in my pocket, having an embarrassingly hard time pulling it back out with the crystal. For his part, Jon kept letting out grunting shouts, almost barks, as he tried various things to pull himself free. We''d both done wrestling in school, but while Jon had eventually gained the advantage in size in high school, he''d lost that edge since the apocalypse. Sitting atop him, I pinned his hips, and with one forearm just below his throat, I pinned his shoulders. It wasn''t exactly a sanctioned pin, but I was out of practice and in a hurry.u201 Frankly, I was surprised Buck hadn''t already come charging in. Then again, as far as I knew, he wasn''t a cop. Even if he was, charging into a gun battle during an apocalypse would take a lot of bravery¡ªor a lot of stupidity. Jon had basically ambushed me, and it was still clear he was struggling to keep his calm. Not that I could blame him. I finally got the crystal from my pocket and pressed it to my forehead. Rather than again using the memory of beating his ass, I decided to show him a more recent memory. *---=*--=-*--==* In the memory, we sped toward the vortex wall, but I could already tell we were too late. "Jon, we''re not going to make it," I said, sighing in defeat. "You have to stop." It wasn''t anyone''s fault. Helping Nia and Titus had slowed us down¡ªso had investigating the abandoned patrol cars, but there''d been no way to predict how fast the vortex would lower. "No, we can make it. We''ll drive straight through." Jon had said, an understandable desperation in his eyes as he set his course and increased speed. Understandable or not, I''d seen in graphic detail what that slowly churning wall of gas did to anything it touched. "Jon, no!" I yelled. "I''ve seen what it does to people. It eats through anything in a second." He ignored me. "Everyone, get low¡ªit''s our only shot." He was going to stubbornly ''try his best'' even though it was impossible. The vortex was already too low for anything but a quick death. Suddenly, thirty days to search for a solution didn''t seem too bad, but I knew I couldn''t sway him in the time we had left. He was going to rush us all straight to death in his refusal to back down. I grabbed the wheel and shoved it hard to the left, slamming us into a parked van feet from the vortex wall. *---=*--=-*--==* I''d only been distracted for a moment as I pressed the memory into the crystal. Unfortunately, it was enough time for Jon to pull out his own surprise. I pressed the crystal against his head. At the same time, I felt something press against my abdomen. The crystal snapped as the memory flooded Jon''s mind, but not before Jon pulled the trigger on his taser, sending pain exploding through my body, expelling all the breath in my lungs and nearly causing me to vomit. I lost a bit of time there, and when I came back to myself, Jon was free. Half crawling, he reached for my shotgun, probably because it was closer than his pistol. I was still recovering from spasming muscles as Jon grabbed the gun and cocked it. I kicked out at him and knocked it from his hands and into the air. Jon and I both scrabbled after it, and I shoved him away as I pulled myself up using the railing. I half dove over that rail and nearly dangled by my waist before my hand closed on the stock of the gun. Stolen novel; please report. My core still burning from the taser, I whipped myself back and brought the gun around to aim it at Jon to end the fight. Unfortunately, a bullet tore into my thigh as I spun, and my leg gave out. Collapsing at the edge of the stairs, my imbalance sent me tumbling backward down the steps. As I flipped tail over teakettle, the shotgun clattered down with me until we reached the landing halfway to the first floor. The sudden stop knocked the wind out of me, and¡ª between catching a bullet with my vest and enduring 50,000 volts moments ago¡ª I was too disoriented to put up much more resistance. Jon followed, taking the steps slowly, unhurriedly. I didn''t think I''d hurt him much, so he was trying again to put on his stoic warrior face. I took a gasping, ragged breath that made me cough and wheeze. Jon was going to kill me. Again. He refused to listen, refused to look at my proof. I''d known I might have to face Jon to get to Kay. I''d known I might even need to shoot him. When it came down to it, I''d hesitated and looked for other solutions. I was about to pay the price for that, but I wasn''t the only one. Jon might be happy to let me go be a monster where he wasn''t looking, but I wasn''t the only one he''d label like that, and he wasn''t the only one blinded by appearances. Ultimately, I wasn''t the only one who needed a voice. My hand tightened on the shotgun that had landed next to me. Jon took notice. His eyes widened, and he began to raise his pistol, but he''d come too close. I barely had to aim, let alone stabilize the gun, braced as it was against the floor. Leveraging it up in one motion, I pulled the trigger. The gun bucked in my hand despite the floor, but the damage was done. The blast took Jon in the chest, knocking him off his feet and up the stairs briefly. Crashing bonelessly down, he rag-dolled back down the steps to land beside me. My brother from another mother, from another world, and another life gaped at the air, trying to get a breath. Blood poured from his mouth, and he stared in disbelief at nothing as he struggled to understand, struggled to live. Nia''s words from when I''d been in a very similar position came back to me. "I''m sorry; it''ll be over soon. I wish I could have helped. It wasn''t... it wasn''t about you, Jon. I wish that hadn''t made you so obstinate. I hope you''ll figure that out." But he was already gone. Not that it mattered; he wouldn''t remember this, at least not in any way that would mean anything to him. That only made it more frustrating. Aggravating. To him, he was fighting ''monsters'' on a self-righteous'' holy crusade,'' and, win or lose, he got to just forget the misery he caused, including his own suffering. He got to pretend he was above it all and lean into his ignorance to cling to a false sense of superiority. "Dammit, Jon," I said, searching his lifeless face before joining him in staring blankly at the ceiling. "It didn''t have to be like this. I didn''t want this, or choose this. You should have known better. You should have known life was complicated, that appearances were deceptive. I thought you''d learned. I thought you''d be able to see past the exterior. I thought you knew me. I wish you''d been willing to listen, willing to see. I think... I think this is goodbye. I hope you''ll come with us, but I can''t¡ªPeople are depending on me. You were my family¡ªmy only family. But that''s not enough. I can''t put everything on hold to get you caught up over and over, especially when you seem so set on denying what should be obvious." Wiping imagined tears from my eyes, I pulled myself to my feet, hopping on my good leg. Unfortunately, my ''good'' leg was the one I''d smashed into the railing. I was not in a condition I''d choose before facing bogey-Kay. As the Shadow on the ship, she''d been far from weak, and I had no reason to think it was different in the real world. None of my wounds were serious, but my entire body smarted and ached, and I was far from steady on my feet. I was going to have to take things slow. Speed was impossible, and stealth was out. There was no way our gun battle had been missed by anyone in the hospital, let alone the chapel on just the other side of the wall. I limped over to the memory crystal that Jon had let bounce down to this level and, looking around, spotted the other one as well. Both were cracked, but neither had shattered. I slipped one back into my pocket and palmed the other. As far as I knew, the cultists only had one other gun, Buck''s. Kay had a knife, though, and¡ª with or without her shadow teleporting¡ªBogey-Kay was likely to be stronger and faster than your average chaplain. Crowseph and Hands had hidden abilities. The stuttering movements and teleportation from the ship might be Kay''s, but I had no way of knowing the extent or limits of her ''powers.'' If nothing else, she could control people like Mr. Peterson and give them strength that matched my own. I could only hope that, like Guy, her mind could only be one place at a time. Either way, I needed to make it into my stolen Shadow no matter what. That meant I couldn''t afford to hold back anymore. I''d need to throw everything I had at anything that got in my way. --== 64 Use it ---=Chapter 64: Use It---= I loaded the last loose shell I had left into the shotgun, leaving me with two total shots left. I''d used half my ammunition just getting past Jon. I shivered, not looking up to the landing where his body lay. I could hear the sound of blood beginning to drip, one drop at a time, down the steps. Two shells wouldn''t go far. I considered going back for Jon''s pistol. How many times had he shot? Four or five? Jon had taken me shooting, but I didn''t remember how many bullets the gun could hold. I also had no way of knowing how many he''d used before confronting me. For all I knew, the gun was empty. Even if I had it, I wasn''t exactly practiced with a gun. Jon had shot at me several times before I even knew he was there, and he''d only hit me once. Sure, he''d been at an awkward angle and was seeing me for the first time¡ªfrom his point of view¡ªso he was probably at least a little shocked. It was still unlikely my accuracy would be any better. I knew from Nia''s memories that at least some of the cultists were ready to respond at Kay''s command, but that didn''t mean there wouldn''t be innocents around that I might accidentally hit if I started shooting wildly. I was trying to rationalize my reluctance to claim Jon''s gun. The truth was, I didn''t want to use either weapon, but I especially didn''t want to ''loot'' Jon''s corpse like this was just some video game, respawns or not. That didn''t stop me from trying to take comfort in the fact that we were in a time loop, that he''d be fine and without even the memory of our fight. Unfortunately, that reminder wasn''t relieving so much as it was infuriating. It made everything I was sacrificing¡ªeverything I was feeling¡ªseem worthless. I really couldn''t afford to get hung up on that, though. I couldn''t hold back. Jon wasn''t even my first kill. That had been one of Hands''s goons; I was pretty sure his name was Larry, and it had barely haunted me. Not that there''d been much time to lament my loss of innocence. And there still wasn''t. "Fuck!" I swore, but the middle schooler''s voice couldn''t pack the word with the weight of all that I felt. I hurried back up the steps to Jon''s body. If I gave their group any more time to prepare, they could circle around from the second floor, making it even dumber to leave Jon''s gun behind¡ªno need to arm my enemies. I held my breath and avoided looking at Jon''s face, but the sticky mess that was his body was still disturbing. The gun sat in the puddle of his blood¡ªhe was half lying on it. I just stared at it for long seconds, unable to stop hearing his gurgling struggle for breath as he succumbed to the grotesquerie I''d made of his torso. In a swift motion, I pulled the gun free and frantically wiped off as much of the blood as possible onto Jon''s pants. My movements were panicked and hurried; everything in me screamed that I didn''t want this. I would have made an easy target if someone had chosen that moment to attack. As soon as I got most of the blood wiped off, I shoved the gun in my pocket and threw up over the rail. Trembling, I walked back down the stairs; the smell of vomit joined the smell of blood in ruining my mind-clearing deep breaths. "Use it use it use it!" I growled, trying to turn my turmoil into anger. And I was angry. I was going to make Kay pay for turning Jon against me, for betraying her daughters, for making me go through all this in the first place. All I''d wanted was to quietly live my life with the people I cared about. Even before the apocalypse, I just created silly comics and tried to stay out of the way of more important things. My big plan when the world ended was to basically do that same thing but with more subsistence farming. Even that was Jon''s plan as much as mine. And since we''d become trapped in the time loop, I''d mainly just wanted to make sure my friend was okay and that people wouldn''t attack me because of how I looked. I forced myself to take deep breaths, putrid though they were. I needed to focus, to be, if not calm, at least clear-headed. I returned the memory crystal to my hand and prepared to focus on it as though adding a visualization. I also prepared a glamour. I''d only be able to use it on one person at a time, but if I needed magic to make people hiding and huddling in a church afraid of me, I''d eat my pants. The trick would be using Glamour on the right person. Arguably, that should probably be Buck; he was the only other one I''d seen with a gun, not counting Guy''s tranq gun. I''d have to hope Guy had control of his own body and tranqs this loop. This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. In reality, I couldn''t afford to use Glamour to keep myself safe. I wasn''t going in there to massacre those people; I was going in to take back control of my Shadow, my memories, and, hopefully, my body. Which meant the first target of my Glamour would need to be Kay. Standing with my back against the wall beside the door to the first floor, I turned the door handle and pushed it open without looking. I half expected shots to ring out as soon as the door started to swing open. When things remained quiet, I poked my head out just far enough to check for other gunmen. The hall was clear, which was good. It gave me one more tool I could use. Checking the hall more carefully, I left the stairwell. As I''d seen on the map, the chapel was the next door to my right. Gently, I knocked on the door. "Hello? Is it safe? Can I come in?" I asked softly, trying to sound like a scared kid. The quiver in my voice was real, and I had Nia''s voice, so it should sound pretty convincing. "Begone demon. I already know my daughter''s been possessed. You''ve stolen the light of my heart, but I won''t let you in to corrupt these good men and women." I heard another voice say something, but I couldn''t make out the words. They sounded like they might be disagreeing, though. I put my back against the wall beside the door again, trusting the brick to shield me from any bullets. Reaching out, I tried the handle, but the door was locked. I felt gross doing it, but I kept the charade up. "Please, Mommy, I think there''s something out here! Please open the door!" My act wasn''t for Pastor Kay. From what I''d seen in Nia''s memories¡ªand from what I''d been able to sift from Sori''s rambling and unreliable explanations¡ª Kay was out of her mind. Whatever the trauma monsters were, wherever they came from, Kay''s was calling the shots for her. Just seeing Nia as ''Titania'' had set her off, and I''d seen cosplay at least as realistic. Instead, my act was for the cultists, Alice''s group, and anyone else sheltering inside who might not be totally sold on Kay''s religious tripe. "Denis! stop!" I heard Kay hiss on the other side of the door. "But that''s your daughter?" Denis said, and I heard the lock turn. "I said-" But she was too slow. Turning the handle, I shoved the door open. I felt it collide with something, presumably Denis, but I''d used enough force to knock him aside. Forging a connection with the palmed memory crystal, I tossed it into the room without looking. When Hands had used this method on me, he was tricking me into changing my spawn point. It was a trap to put me under his control. When I''d used this trick on Nia, I was trying to change her spawn point to somewhere safe. This time, I didn''t care about changing anyone''s spawn point; I just needed the distraction. As had been true in each previous case, all eyes tracked the memory crystal as though it was the most beautiful thing in existence, as though it were holy. It wasn''t, and I followed a heartbeat behind it. I stepped into the doorway, shotgun at the ready against my shoulder. The chapel had stackable convention-style chairs on one half of the room and a podium and projector screen on the other. They had moved most of the chairs aside, and a dozen or so people knelt huddled together. Denis was sprawled on the floor and the only one not watching the memory crystal¡ªat least the only one with an aura. Presumably, he''d been distracted by being knocked over. He stared at me with wide, fearful eyes, so I didn''t bother dropping my Glamour on him. Behind the podium, tied to a chair, was Anderson. There was a gurney poking out from behind the projector screen. Based on the scrubs and shoes, I couldn''t be sure, but I thought it was Alice. Jessica and Maebe sat unmoving beside the podium, completely lacking auras and expressions. Standing at the podium itself was a wild-eyed Kay. Her jaw was clenched, and rage filled her expression as her eyes darted from the memory crystal to me. It was maybe the first time I''d actually seen a person gnash their teeth. "Oberon!" She hissed, "Kill it!" I unleashed my terror-Glamour on her, and I saw the blood drain from her face before she turned and fled behind the screen. I pulled the trigger on the shotgun, trying to track her as she ran. I had to aim high because of the catatonic Jessica and Maebe, so I missed her, but it was fine. I''d never intended to hit with the first shot anyway. I just needed to chase the thief into my Shadow. Her aura, which seemed even larger in real life, vanished as she entered the ether through my Shadow. In her absence, the room seemed to actually dim, and then everyone moved at once. ---= --=- 65 Look Out --=-Chapter 65: Look Out--=- The majority of the kneeling people just covered their heads and ears as the shotgun blast rang out, but Buck stood from where he knelt and started to raise his pistol. Kay was gone, so I didn''t need to hold my Glamour in place, and I assumed Buck felt the same about me as she did. Drawing my lips back in a snarl, I pointed the shotgun at him and pumped it to load my last shell. "Drop it," I growled as I released the terror Glamour on him. He didn''t drop the gun. Buck''s eyes widened in alarm, and rather than flight, he chose fight. I probably should have predicted that particular drawback to using a fear illusion. Despite his panic, he still got off two shots before I pulled the trigger on the shotgun. I didn''t plan it, but I had a fair amount of fear coursing through my own system. One of the bullets grazed my arm, and the other clipped my ear, but I''d gotten off light. Buck, on the other hand, had fallen back against the wall and left a bloody smear on the wall as the light left his eyes, and he slid to the ground. "Dammit!" I swore as I threw my gun to the ground. I''d really hoped to use that last shot on Kay. I could barely hear my own voice over the ringing that was becoming constant after the repeated gunfire in enclosed spaces. I wasn''t alone; covered heads had become covered ears, except for Jessica and Maebe, who were catatonic, and Anderson, who was tied up. With the ringing in my ears, I couldn''t make out the words, but one look showed me that most people in the room were fervently praying and rocking in fear. Hopefully, the rest of them would be smart enough not to get in my way, but I''d already learned my lesson when it came to fear. Afraid didn''t mean cowed, and I wouldn''t leave Buck''s weapon lying around to be used against me. Pulling Jon''s pistol from my pocket, I circled around the kneeling congregation. They''d been much less hesitant to attack Nia, but I supposed Kay and Buck had led that charge. Plus, a little height and demon cosplay on a kid wouldn''t be as intimidating as a full-grown werewolf, with or without a gun. Of course, that willingness to attack the helpless only pissed me off more. I didn''t want to put my back to the Shadow, just in case Kay came back through. I''d surprised her with that Glamour, but she wasn''t under its effects anymore, so she could return anytime. The cultists moved out of my way when I got close, not that I was getting close enough for them to reach me anyway. I walked between the kneeling congregation and the catatonic Maebe and Jessica. With my back to Anderson, I paused. "Hey, Anderson, you alright?" "Um, yeah," he said. "Are you Sam? We, uh, read a comic about you." "Oh shit, so you managed to keep it intact last loop after all." I was surprised; even just Alice''s little note card required a shard of crystal. Maybe since it was brought in from the Shadow and didn''t have a respawn point, it didn''t reset? "This has been the craziest day. I''d be sure I was dreaming if everything didn''t seem so familiar. One second, we were mid brain-surgery; the next, we were in the Chapel, and Alice found the comic in her lap." It made sense; when I''d changed my spawn point, everything on my person had changed with me. "Are we really in a time loop?" Anderson asked. To me, his voice seemed hushed, my own voice quiet as well, but the ringing in my ears meant we were probably talking loudly enough to be heard from the hall if there was anyone around who hadn''t been deafened. "Something like that," I told him. I had my doubts that any actual time travel was happening; there were too many inconsistencies, like the spawn points and the Gremlin''s hut, not to mention our memories. If time was reversing, there shouldn''t even be fragments of memory left; all those changes to the brain should be undone as well. "Listen, I''m going to go grab Buck''s gun," I said in Nia''s voice. Anderson apparently didn''t recognize it, whatever memories he had. "Do me a favor and keep an eye on that Shadow. If Kay comes back, give a shout." "Anderson, you bastard, you damned traitor." Denis tried to snarl from the floor. Blood covered his face, and his voice was nasally from pinching his nose closed. Apparently, I''d smacked him in the face when I shoved open the door, the poor lamb. "Fuck off prick. Look at what she did to Alice, her own stepdaughter. You helped her! You let her convince you the werewolf broke Maebe and Jessica, but we both know that''s not true now, don''t we? She did it, and you helped her, and I was next. So fuck off." "Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Denis spat, bloody spittle flying from his lips, near madness in his voice. "You don''t know! Kay was right not to trust you. How can you talk to that creature like it''s not obviously evil? Look at it, Anderson! It killed Buck right in front of you, and you''re still talking to it like it''s nothing." This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. "Alright," I interjected. "That''s enough of that. You don''t like me? leave." Denis wasn''t the only one who seemed on the edge of sanity, and I decided it was safer not to get close so I could take Buck''s gun. He''d dropped it when I shot him, and it was closer to the rest of the cultists than I wanted to risk. "That goes for everyone. Everybody out." "We can''t leave!" a terrified voice spoke up. "It''s death out there!" Someone else said. "It''s the end of the world. Pastor said we had to pray, to be ready as good brides of Christ." "We''re waiting for the redeemer!" None of the speakers would meet my eye, but they all seemed more scared of leaving than of me. It was almost nice that I wasn''t their biggest fear. "You''re all so fucking stupid. According to Kay, I''m a demon, and you have to stay and pray if you want to be saved. Well, guess what, here I am on ''Holy Ground.'' Either I''m not a demon, or you''re not safe here. Actually, I know you''re not safe here. I don''t trust you behind me, so anybody who doesn''t leave will get the same treatment as Alice and Anderson." I wasn''t sure what was wrong with Alice. Unlike Jessica and Maebe, she still had an aura, but it was weak, and she hadn''t moved that I''d seen. Whatever had been done, I saw the unease come over their faces as they looked between me and the open door. "Now," I said, taking a step and aggressively pointing my gun at the prone Denis. At my gesture, he scrabbled to get his feet beneath him and almost bear-crawled out the door before managing to stand up. As I''d hoped, it started a mad scramble for the door. They weren''t wrong about there being dangers out there, and some of them very well might die looking for somewhere else safe to hide. Glancing over my shoulder at the people behind me, I couldn''t find it in me to care overly much. I wanted to be empathetic. I knew they were just scared, but¡ª congregation or cultists¡ª they had eyes. Anderson was tied right in front of them and not even gagged. They might not understand what was happening, but they were clearly willing to let Anderson and the others pay the price for their illusion of safety. When the last of them had scuttled out of the room, I put my pistol back in my pocket. The waistband was too loose to hold it tight. Or maybe my fur was just that soft and soft. My steps heavy and my heart angry, I walked back to Anderson and began working at the rope. I didn''t have a knife or anything to cut him free, but my claws were pointed enough that I should be able to make quick work of the knots. "You said you found yourself here suddenly," I asked the man. "Can you tell me what happened?" "It... Things went bad almost right away." Anderson started. He was tied at the ankles and wrists, as well as another rope around his chest, holding his body to the chair. Looking closer, I saw it was all one uncut rope. I guess they didn''t have scissors, either. "We weren''t the only ones who were disoriented. Denis, Alice, and I were sitting next to each other. Some people were kneeling and barely seemed to notice anything had changed. Others were like us, and were looking around, trying to figure out how they got here. Then Kay started trying to calm everyone down, but I knew something was off. Everything in me screamed that her smile and calm voice was a charade, a mask. I leaned over to say so to Alice and saw her flipping through the comic about you." "It took a few minutes for her to get everyone calmed down. She claimed this was the rapture, but I couldn''t shake the feeling that she was lying to us, or not telling us everything. Then Alice spoke up and said, ''It was you, not Oberon. Not Sam.'' She accused Pastor Kay of making Jessica and Maebe like that. But Kay said she was being hysterical and had an officer shut her up." "Jon?" "Uh, yeah, that was what she called him. She said God told her his name, and I guess he believed her because he threatened us, claiming we might start a panic if we didn''t quiet down." I listened as Anderson finished telling me what happened, untying him little by little. Kay was using the Shadow to make drones, just like Sori had claimed. Anderson hadn''t called them that, but what he described fit. "What are you going to do? Can I help?" Anderson asked as he rubbed his wrists. I pulled out my pistol and looked at the Shadow dancing in agitation behind the projector screen. Before I could respond, though, Anderson''s eyes widened in alarm. "Look out!" He said, tackling me unexpectedly. I hadn''t gone for Buck''s gun after the cultists had run from the room. It hadn''t seemed important with the threats gone, and I didn''t want to loot his corpse any more than I did Jon''s. It turned out the mistake was not making sure no one took the gun with them. A shot rang out as Anderson hit me, and by the time we hit the floor, he was dead, a bullet in his brain. It was just bad luck. I didn''t know how he''d gotten it, but Denis was standing in the doorway, Buck''s gun in his hands, his mouth agape. "Wait, no-" he said, his eyes on Anderson''s corpse. I didn''t let him finish. I pointed Jon''s pistol at him and pulled the trigger several times. Denis collapsed to the ground like a puppet with his strings cut. "Fucking Denis," I swore. --=- --== 66 Tough Love --==Chapter 66: Tough Love--== I took the gun off Denis''s corpse, my anger refusing to share space in my head with the distaste I''d felt while looting Jon''s body. I checked his pockets, too, ostensibly for more gun clips but mostly because I''d decided he didn''t deserve respect even in death. It wasn''t my proudest moment. The looting needed to be done, but vindictive corpse looting was awfully petty, even for the role of demon they''d cast me in. Then I found the Benzo syringe he''d used on me, and I relived the feeling of my chest and limbs getting heavy while feeling like I was slowly being set on fire. Denis wasn''t exactly innocent. The syringe was empty, and he had nothing else worth taking, so I moved on. I didn''t know how many bullets either of my stolen pistols had left. If movies could be believed, I should be able to remove the clip and check, but I worried I''d jam the gun or something if I tried. If Kay was the same jittering shadow creature that attacked me on my stone ship, I doubted I''d have much luck shooting her anyway; that lagging Shadow had been way too hard to predict. Not that I had much of a backup plan, or really any plan at all. How could I? Every time I turned around, my understanding of the world was overturned. I closed and locked the door to the chapel, trapping myself inside with an almost overpowering smell of blood and awful. Hands was undoubtedly aware something was happening just down the hall from his pool. I doubted Sori could mask the Shadow if Hands''s men were actually looking at it. Hopefully, they''d dismiss the gun battle as a falling out among the cultists, at least enough that they wouldn''t break down the locked door to investigate. I checked on Jessica and Maebe next. Neither had been accidentally shot or anything. They seemed to be breathing normally, but I couldn''t glean much from either except that they were both catatonic. I wondered if Hands would be able to do anything with them. He''d brought me into his Dreamland, but then I wasn''t sure there was enough going on behind their eyes to bring in. Next, I checked on Alice. She was lying on a gurney, her head and shoulders disappearing into the still-writhing Shadow as though it were a portal. She was breathing and had a weak, flickering aura. I considered pulling out the gurney, but I worried about the damage I might do while ignorant. I imagined pulling back the gurney to reveal the same clean cut I''d seen in videos of people touching the vortex. The fact that the bed was still being supported on the other side of the Shadow entrance suggested that wasn''t the case, but I still poked the portal with a gun before braving it myself. Life had become impossibly surreal, and I was perpetually reeling at new situations. At the same time, the blurred lines and uncertainty weren''t wholly unfamiliar. I''d lived most of my life beyond what too many people were willing to understand, and I refused to shy away from truth just because it was new to me. Satisfied that the Shadow portal was safe, I stepped through. I immediately gagged at what waited for me. Alice''s skull was open, and bloody tools sat on a tray table next to her. I''d always planned to try leaving the Shadow right away, but the unexpected sight of her exposed brain had me retreating before I could think about it. I might be growing more inured to gore and death, but caught off guard like that, I was still at the mercy of my instincts and reflexes. I barely made it a few feet out of the Shadow before I gagged and vomited. I leaned on the gurney for support while my stomach heaved, and, to my horror, the bed rolled backward. My empty stomach ejected only bile as I tried to stop the bed''s movement. Flustered, I glanced over my shoulder to check the result. I was already regretting it as I did, but things were happening quick, and I acted before I thought. Alice was entirely out of the Shadow but fully intact, to my utter disbelief. Stunned, I touched her forehead, where her skull had been missing a moment ago. She was fine. Whole. I was so baffled that I didn''t immediately notice the other change. Her aura was gone. She was breathing, and her pulse was fine, but her eyes were unfocused, just like Jessica''s and Maebe''s. It was another piece of the puzzle and another example of my unending ignorance. Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. I''d known Kay was using the Shadow to make drones, but I hadn''t known how. I still didn''t, but my suspicions were growing. Alice had talked about pulling a crystal from Mr. Peterson''s brain. From what I could tell, her patient was the original drone. I doubted it was a coincidence that her brain had been similarly exposed. I still had questions, like why was she whole on this side of the Shadow portal? I wondered what would happen if I pushed her back into the Shadow, but not enough to try. I didn''t want to see that, and, on the off chance she was aware in there, I didn''t want to put her through it. I better understood Anderson''s anger at Denis and Kay after seeing this. Kay might not be Alice''s mom¡ª actually, I doubted she was even a decade older than Alice¡ªbut they were still family. It would be bad enough treating a stranger or a coworker that way, but family? Then again, I already knew Bogey-Kay had tried to kill her own biological daughter, so this was just one more confirmation that she needed to be stopped. And since I doubted that Kay had been the one to cut open Alice''s head, Denis was probably responsible for that. If I got through this, I might have to think up a way to stop him from causing any more harm. Maybe I could use a trapped memory crystal to set his spawn point in a locked room, or on the roof or something. I was willing to give him a pass for his behavior toward me¡ªwell, somewhat willing anyway¡ªbut if he had helped do this to Maebe, Jessica, and Alice, he''d have exhausted any compassion I''d willingly extend. Spitting the remnants of bile from my mouth as best as I could with a canine tongue, I clenched my jaw and walked back into the Shadow. If Kay had been around when I first walked in, she''d had plenty of time to prepare an ambush. If she had one planned, though, it was further in than the entryway. Inside the Shadow had the same feel as the ether. There was a slight hum of energy in the air and a taste on the wind like a combination between salty spray and licking a battery. I''d expected that this place was connected to my ship, partly because Sori had claimed as much, and partly because I''d been attacked by a Shadow person on it. I didn''t recognize the dark corridor in front of me, or the shelves that lined it, but I was doubly sure it was part of the same space. "You are an abomination before the Lord," a voice said from the blackness around me. I didn''t jump in surprise; I''d been expecting more than just a disembodied voice. "You attacked and mutilated your own family," I responded. "You sicked your cult on Nia and tried to kill her." "And you besmirch the children of God. His wrath will surely follow." Kay answered. I slowly walked forward, peering into the shadows around and behind the shelves. Most of the shelves were empty. I was looking for signs of movement between them or shadows too dark to pierce, so I almost missed that the last row of shelves held half a dozen softly glowing crystals. They looked like the memory crystals I''d found in Slender Hopper and the like, but their glow was much dimmer. The crystals themselves looked almost like dark glass with streamers or ribbons of green light at their hearts, almost like an aurora. One of the crystals hummed when I looked at it. It was glowing softer than the rest, and a closer look showed me that the light in its depths was blue. It called to me, and, more than anything, I wanted to pop it into my mouth. "I saw her memory of it, you know. Nia''s, I mean." I said into the dark. "I''m not surprised." Kay''s voice responded, "That girl was steeped in evil. That she would choose to consort with a spawn of Satan is no shock. What''s your real identity? Belial? Abaddon?" Try as I might, I couldn''t figure out where her voice was coming from. "I don''t think I''ve ever seen so much lust for blood in a person''s eyes, and I''m running around a monster movie as one of the monsters. I don''t believe in your demons any more than I do your god, but a mother who would attack her own child? I don''t need to look any further than that to know evil." "''Then Abraham reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son, Isaac.'' There is no salvation without sacrifice. When my King speaks, I listen as his faithful servant. I will be rewarded in full." I couldn''t help but snort despite being closer to furious than amused. "Sacrifice? I thought you had a guy for that. Wasn''t that the whole point? When exactly do you people start extending that ''grace'' I''ve heard so much about?" "Blasphemer, prince of lies, your words are empty." "And yet they aren''t my words. Faith, Hope, and Love, and the greatest of these is love." I spat in response. A lifetime of facing this kind of self-righteousness made her words strike too close to home. "It is because of my love that my daughters must be cleansed of your filth." "''Greater love has no man than to lay down his life for another.'' isn''t that how it goes? When does that start? So far, all I''ve seen from people like you is condemnation, vitriol, and violence toward those you disagree with. And people like you always call it ''tough love.'' Fuck all of you, fuck your whole holier-than-though religion. You have no idea what love is." I knew my words were wasted. I wasn''t talking to a rational being, and the anger wasn''t really for her anyway. There was a reason I''d hung out with Jon and his fundamental Christian parents: they were less judgmental than my own¡ªor at least less hateful. I was wasting time. Unless I wanted to go through my whole assault again in the next loop, I needed to end this. Kay was almost certainly masked in Shadow, so she had the advantage in this shadowed space. Leaving the shelf of memories behind, I loped toward the light. I''d deal with Bogey-Kay first and then return for them when I had time to examine them more closely. --== 67 I Dont Want To See That ---=Chapter 67:I Don''t Want To See That---= I ran forward through the light at the end of the tunnel. Unsurprisingly, it led into the hull of my stone ship. More surprisingly, the entrance to that Shadow alcove remained, despite it not being here on my last trip into the hull. I guessed that it would remain as long as I was aboard the ship. That was my hope, at least. If that shadow passage to the chapel closed, I wasn''t sure how I''d return my body to the real world. This was the first time I was on my ship with my real body. Looking down, I noted that, strictly speaking, this wasn''t my ''real'' body at all. More accurately, it was neither my wolf body nor my birth body, it was instead the mental self-image I only had in dreams and previous trips to the ether. I turned, suddenly needing to know if this form would remain if I walked back into the chapel. Kay was there. Having come out of the shadows, Kay''s body was silhouetted by the light of the chapel. Her figure stuttered as she walked toward me, vanishing and reappearing just as it had the last time I''d faced the creature. Trying not to hurry, I pulled out one of the pistols. It was tempting to pull them both out, and dual-wield panicked shots. Instead, I took a deep breath and supported one hand with the other. I didn''t remember if it was the proper form Jon had taught me or a dubious form I''d stolen from TV. Still, anything was probably better than dual-wielding without aiming at all. I squeezed the trigger several times but saw no sign that I''d hit Kay''s shadow form. For that matter, I didn''t see any sparks or chipped concrete to suggest I''d missed. Kay''s form, jittery though it was, wasn''t twitching at the sound of the gunshots either. Frowning, I aimed at the floor on just the other side of the entrance and pulled the trigger. Again, the sound of the gun firing rang out clearly. On the other side of the doorway, though, there was no hole or chip in the cement, no sign I''d hit it at all. Furrowing my brow further, I shot at the floor on my side of the doorway. Finally, I got a sign I wasn''t firing blanks, as the ground cracked and chipped where the bullet struck. It confirmed for me that the shadow space wasn''t really part of my Ship. I turned back to the portal between the two rooms and stepped close enough that the pistol was on the other side of the entryway. It didn''t feel any different than any other doorway, but when I aimed and pulled the trigger, my hands felt the kick, but my ears didn''t hear a thing. Kay''s flickering silhouette vanished, reappearing a step to the side and three steps closer to me. Swearing, I tried to track her as she flicker-stepped closer and closer. Every time I pulled the trigger, she vanished from one spot and reappeared in another. Then, she was at the doorway and grabbed the barrel of the pistol. If she found it hot, she didn''t give any indication; she just ripped the thing from my hands. I stumbled back from the doorway and reached for the other gun when Kay''s form appeared past the entryway, and everything froze. Kay was a beacon of light in a bright room encroached upon by a darkness behind her. Then, my brain suddenly ached like I had an ice cream headache, but in my forehead. Unexpectedly, I found myself back in the chapel. The pain and pressure were gone. People around me were kneeling in prayer, and my hand was on the back of a crying woman. The hands, neither furry nor familiar, were not mine. A wedding ring was on her left hand. At a guess, this was Kay''s memory, likely a trauma like Hands and I experienced when I entered his Dreamland. The room and people were utterly quiet to my ears. I could feel myself saying words but couldn''t hear them. Suddenly, my head snapped to the door. Several people looked up from their tearful prayers. Fear was in some eyes, but there was hope in others. I could feel Kay''s heart beat wildly in her ears, but I couldn''t tell if it was from hope or fear. Maybe both. Buck stood and pulled out his gun, and gave me a nod. I nodded back and stepped up to the door to crack it open. Buck stepped in behind me, ready to shoot. I took in the eyes and face of Nia and felt Kay''s eyes widen as she flung open the door in a hurry. She rushed forward, oblivious to the glowing blue werewolf behind Nia, oblivious to the black wings and dark horns growing from her daughter''s form. Buck''s hand fell on her shoulder and pulled her up short. Only then did Kay register the strangeness. Instead of stepping forward, she took a step back. She began to shake her head, and I could almost hear her begging for an explanation. Her cheeks flushed, and her breathing was becoming ragged. Tears were making her eyes burn and blur. Nia was also fighting back tears as her body hunched over, her hands trying to hide the horns. If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. Then I watched my werewolf self place a hand on Nia''s head. Likely, I was trying to be comforting or protective. I couldn''t see Kay''s face without a mirror, but she was clearly upset. When my furry hand landed on Nia''s head, though, Kay seemed to lose it. Her gestures erupted into large and wild swings. I could feel the shouts straining Kay''s throat, and Buck had to hold her back. Kay abruptly turned and buried her face in Buck''s shoulder, but her hand found the gun in its holster and pulled it free. Whipping around and wiping a tear from her eyes, she unloaded the gun on her daughter and the werewolf from feet away. This wasn''t the memory that Nia had shown me. Kay collapsed to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. Buck and her congregation closed in on her and offered her the support of their hands and prayers as someone closed the door. *-*--*-*--*-*- I was back in the chapel. I felt my hand, Kay''s hand, on someone''s back as they knelt in tearful prayer. An unheard sound made Kay''s head snap to the door. I don¡¯t want to see that again, I thought into the void, worried I was stuck on a loop. Kay cracked open the door, and I expected I would see Nia again. It was wrong. It was a wide and short serpent with eyes that looked just like Nia''s. Kay''s eyes widened, and she stepped back, but the serpent''s head snapped forward, and long fangs pierced Kay''s neck. I didn''t hear Buck fire into the monster, but I saw the bursts of blood splatter from the snake monster. Kay''s world faded. *-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-* Kay was speaking behind the podium. Her heart raced, and I could see her glancing at the door as she spoke passionately at her kneeling and praying congregation. The door began to rattle, and Kay backed away from it. She clenched a bible in her hand and wielded it like a sword. Buck stood and walked over to stand between Kay and the door. Soon, another stood; it took me a second to realize it was Alice. Walking over to stand between her stepmom and the monster, Alice looked over her shoulder and said something. I couldn''t really read lips, but I still caught the word ''Dad.'' and a sadness that made me think she knew Titus was dead. Then others joined the pair, some wiping tears, others opening bibles. Nearly the entire room of people stood between Kay and her trauma. It was a beautiful and aggravating moment. Kay didn''t deserve their protection. All she''d had to do was accept her child unconditionally. The door caved. The smell of cordite filled the air as Buck opened fire. The cultists shook fists and screamed at the monster, blocking it from Kay''s sight as much as they blocked Kay from its sight. Buck''s shots missed or weren''t effective. The snake with Nia''s pleading eyes struck out and took him in the throat. It threw his body against the cultists and knocked them out of the way, a spray of blood following his limb form. Alice grabbed one of the stackable metal chairs and swung it at the snake monster, but it tanked the blow and smacked her to the ground with its massive head. Kay was shaking, and her heart was pounding in her chest. She glared down at the dead and wounded and spat at the ground. She threw her bible at the snake with her daughter''s eyes and started yelling at it. Alice was trying to drag herself away from the serpent. The serpent slowly unhinged its jaws, never taking its eyes off Kay. As though daring her to intervene, it casually scooped up the doctor''s legs in its mouth. Kay took a step, her fist clenched, and then she closed her eyes, and I felt her squeeze them shut as she took a shuttering breath. When she opened them up again, she stared expressionlessly at Alice. Alice''s hand grabbed Kay''s ankle, but Kay kicked it off and spat again, this time on Titus''s daughter. I felt something ease in Kay''s chest, and I felt her lips twitch. And then she was laughing. She was laughing at what had happened. She collapsed to her knees, wheezing and unable to control her mirth. She wiped a tear from her eyes, saw Alice''s arm slip beneath the lip of the snake''s mouth, and began laughing even harder. The short snake crawled up to Kay, and Kay stared deep into its eyes. The eyes were no longer those of Nia''s. Instead, they were Kay''s own eyes. I knew what I was watching; this was what set Kay apart. She gave in to the monster. The serpent drew close and pressed its forehead to Kay''s. As though nothing was out of the ordinary, Kay pressed into the contact and stared into the snake''s eyes. Then the monster was gone, vanishing into thin air in a puff of green light; Kay''s aura erupted and writhed around her. I felt energy begin to course through her veins as pleasure flooded her, and her mouth broke out in a wide grin. Kay licked her lips, and her stomach growled as she looked down at her wounded congregation before the world faded again. ---= --=- 68 Without You Again --=-Chapter 68: Without You Again--=- The Vision of Kay''s transformation blurred back into the inverted moment, a humanoid beacon of light stepping toward me as my frozen hand reached for the gun in my left pocket. Time resumed, and I gripped the handle of the gun as Kay lunged for me. I didn''t know if she''d relived that experience with me; unlike Hands, she''d never spoken to me or appeared before me. We also hadn''t relived my experience, which I was grateful for but didn''t really understand. I also didn''t have time at the moment to figure it out. Kay''s leap blinked her right in front of me, her shadowed hand mid-swipe toward my face. My eyes widened with surprise as I reared back my head. Her hand was the size of some umbrellas, each digit wickedly pointed and sharp; I felt the strength of it in the breeze that whiffed past my face. The massive hand tapered down to an average-sized wrist with gradually less Shadow extending up her arm. I barely managed to pull my head out of the path of her swing and take a surprised step backward. I''d gotten the gun out of my pocket, but I was off balance, and Kay stepped in even as I stepped back. Her face was inches away. Even though her expression was still shadowed, I could see enough to know it was the same manic grin I''d felt on her face in the Vision. I tried to bring the gun up between us, but she shoved my arm down and away with one hand while the other took me by the throat and lifted me into the air. Her fingers dug into my neck and my weight settled on the back of my jawbone and neck. "Ack!" I gagged as my feet dangled, Kay''s shadow hand raising me higher than her human arm could. With a twist of her other wrist, she pried the pistol from my fingers and took it for herself. I kicked out at her, but¡ªwithout leverage¡ªit only made me swing as I failed to land a solid strike. I gripped her wrist with both hands to take the weight off my neck and give myself some breathing room. "I am the chosen servant of God," Kay hissed at me with her too-wide smile and shadowed face. "When I''ve cleaned the world of your demonic perversions, my Lord will heap rewards of favor on me and toss you in a pit to burn for all time. He is ever steadfast and as inevitable as the dawn." I wanted to shine holes in her facade, but I only managed to squeak out "Murder" through her death grip. Her eyes sparkled through the darkness of her face as she leaned in, pressing the pistol to my temple. "Demon, there''s no such thing as murder in war, no more than there is innocence. As the Lord spoke, none are innocent. The wicked must be purged and the unclean burned. Before I toss you to the flames, where is my daughter? The corruption will need to be torn from her soul. I''m eager to begin again," She said, her smile widening impossibly. She was strong; her arm didn''t even shake as she held me up, waiting for my response. Rather than answer, I stopped holding up my weight and grabbed at the gun she''d brought back into range. Kay laughed as she pulled the gun away. "uh-uh-uh," she scolded like she thought herself Newman in Jurassic Park. My Vision was fading quick without my arms to take wait of my neck, but rather than resume holding myself up, I began to hammer at her arm with meaty fists. "Ouch! stop it, that hurts!" Kay complained. Then she shot me in the leg. "Where is my daughter?" she asked again, resuming her unhinged smile. Agony flashed through my leg and up my torso, the last of my air huffing out in a pained grunt. Kay sighed. "Fine. No doubt she''ll reappear tomorrow without you again, and I can handle her then. You all make my life so much harder than it needs to be." Raising the gun again, she made sure to keep it far enough away that I wouldn''t be able to easily reach it. Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon. If I died in here, she''d take the crystal from my brain, and I''d once again wake up with no memories. Grasping her wrist again, I tried to swing my legs up and around her arm, but I wasn''t an action movie star or a WWE wrestler; I was just a regular person, whatever Kay wanted to pretend. I''m Sorry, I thought to Nia and Alice, to everyone who was depending on me, to everyone Kay would victimize with her trauma at the wheel. I tried. I closed my eyes and waited for the shot. More than any of the deaths before, this one felt real. I might respawn, but the things that I''d learned in the last week, the person I''d become, he''d be gone, maybe never to be rediscovered. The gun clicked. Empty. "You''re kidding," Kay said with a shake of her head. "You brought a single bullet with you? If I''d known you''d be so unprepared, I''d have brought my own. You truly deserve this ending." Spared by fate or not, Kay was still too strong. I couldn''t break her grip. Maybe if she couldn''t reshape her body with the Shadow, I''d have a chance, but her body was out of reach. If I were still the werewolf, I might have the range to reach her, but¡ª The thought brought me up short. Kay was changing shape and size using the Shadow. I''d changed shape just by entering this place. Could I control it here? I looked how I felt, and there was something vindicating about that, especially since I was actually there in the flesh. It was a change I had hopes of bringing out with me. I hadn''t even considered trying to intentionally change forms. Just the idea put my back up¡ªlike I''d be accepting the monster as a part of me. And maybe it would mean that. Not in a limiting way, not in a way I needed to take ownership of, or as a truth I needed to bow before. But as a truth that had consequences, some good and some bad. I was a person, not a monster, but that was true no matter my appearance. This place confirmed that I wasn''t deluding myself about being a man, not that I really needed the confirmation. That didn''t negate the things that I''d learned as a trans man. Would my perspective be as liberal if I''d never needed to defend who I was? There was value gained in the struggle that I wouldn''t give up easily. In this place, I was in the body that felt most like me, but the body I was born with had influenced my view of the world, and I didn''t hate it; it just wasn''t me. It was a hat that was too tight and didn''t fit my style. That didn''t mean I couldn''t use it to keep the rain off my face in bad weather. Maybe I was just rationalizing, but I had no doubt that if I died here, I''d have lost. Kay''s victory might not last for long. Between Crowseph and Hands, either could follow the gunshots and corpses to the Shadow, and they had enough help that I doubted Kay would be able to hold up to either. Unfortunately, those weren''t victories either. "Oh well," Kay said. "I''m in no hurry. I''ve never strangled a demon to death; it''ll be cathartic watching the light leave your eyes." In defiance, I closed my eyes and tried to focus on what it felt like to be the seven-foot-tall wolf man. Being a voiceless monster had given me a unique perspective on the apocalypse. Unique opportunities. The form itself was a result of disrupting the end of the world. Likely, it was the only reason I''d met the Gremlins, and they were basically the only thing that had kept me sane. I didn''t accept it as my ''true self,'' but I didn''t have to; I''d long figured out that appearance didn''t dictate reality. I could wear the facade of a monster without being a monster, just like so many hid their vileness behind self-righteousness. My eyes popped open, and I saw inky blackness begin to spread up my arms, followed by blue fur sprouting from its depths. I felt my jaw elongate and my legs grow till my feet reached the ground. "Crap," Kay yelped, her eyes widening as she tried to lift me higher. Her arm extended, and more Shadow drained away from her face, making it look like she was blanching. However, once my feet hit the ground, they didn''t leave again. By the time she hit her limit, I was closing on ten feet tall and towering over her. Grabbing her wrist again, I pivoted so my back was to her; her shadow-arm was extending over my shoulder. Then I crouched and pulled, flipping her up and over my shoulder, in a move I hadn''t used since reenacting WWE fights as a kid. Kay hit the ground hard, but I was too busy coughing and gasping for breath to capitalize on it. She whimpered and cried as she climbed to her feet and fled further into the ship. The Shadow had washed back over her, and her movement regained the flickering nature. Groaning, I stood up. I''d hoped changing forms and even growing would bring me back to full health, but my throat still felt half-crushed, and my leg still bled freely from the fresh bullet wound. I wasn''t backing down, though; it was time to end this. --=- --== 69 Dont Do Anything Drastic --==Chapter 69: Don¡¯t Do Anything Drastic--== Hobbled slightly by my injured leg, I limped after Kay. I expected her to stop at the glowing exit where Nia was frozen¡ªto react in some unhinged way. If she noticed at all, I couldn''t tell. Instead, she fled up the stairs. I had no idea what her plan was. She could have left via the Shadow Alcove rather than retreating deeper into my ship if she was intent on retreating. As I started up the stairs, I considered that I''d faced her on my ship before, and it hadn''t gone well for me. The last time she''d run away from me on this ship, she was going for a weapon, and I only knew of one thing on board she might be after. Sure enough, I was barely poking my head past the cellar doors when I had to duck the swing of the Zen rake. The rake only caught air, but the power of Kay''s swing was evident in the whistle and rush of wind that trailed in its wake. I dove the last few steps up to the grassy deck at the front of the ship''s cabin and rolled out of the way of a downward swipe of the rake. Chunks of lawn splattered outward at the strength of the strike, reinforcing my certainty that I did not want to tank a blow from her. Pushing off the ground, I hopped to my feet in a display of strength and athleticism I''d done little enough to earn. Kay backpedaled multiple steps before flickering away to the opposite side of the ship. She didn''t stay in any one position long, and my eyes darted about, looking for her telltale flicker. The last time I''d faced the Shadow, Kay had disappeared in front of me only to reappear suddenly behind me, so I placed my back to the cabin and kept my eyes constantly scanning ahead. The Shade appeared and disappeared beside the stone railings on either side of the ship. Flickering back and forth, she slowly closed the distance between us. I must have resembled nothing so much as a dog watching a game of tennis. Twice, Kay disappeared for several breaths, and I only caught the barest glimpse of her hiding behind the tree-masts. I found myself falling into a wrestler''s stance, knees bent, arms out, ready to grapple Kay or the rake the moment either got close. Then she vanished entirely, and for long seconds, I could only search. The cellar was still open on my left, and I realized that Kay might be best served by escaping and challenging me tomorrow with more preparation and help. Swearing, I kicked the cellar door nearest me closed. I didn''t dare bend down to reach the other door, though. Instead, I circled to the other side, my eyes ever vigilant for Kay''s reappearance. If she''d already made it down the stairs, it was likely too late, but I didn''t think that was likely. Frankly, she didn''t seem that rational. I glanced down for the barest second as I kicked the other door closed, and when I looked back out across the ship, I spotted movement above me. Kay''s silhouette plummeted toward the deck from the upper branches of the nearest tree-mast, rake held up over her head as though to chop wood. By purest luck, I dove out of the way and the ground again erupted with clods of grass and dirt. I instinctively kicked out at the Shade, but her form slid backward toward the tree, her feet gliding inches above the ground while holding the same position as if frozen. I''d seen this lagging movement the last time we fought, and I still didn''t know if it was an ability or a consequence. She rushed at me again, and I hurried to my feet, putting the cabin on my right and the stone rail of the ship on my left. I''d been trying to avoid the side of the ship. I was still pretty sure it would kill me if I hit the plasma, and since I was here in the flesh, I doubted I''d be able to ''wake up'' in the same way as I had last time. Before she reached me, she vanished again. This time, she was gone for less than a blink, reappearing on the stone railing and leaping off it in another overhead swing. Rather than dive out of the way again, I dove toward her. My shoulder took her in the waist, and my arms wrapped around her. Her form flickered and began to slide back, but it didn''t free her from me; instead, I was dragged along in her wake. We were most of the way back to the rail before she started struggling against my hold. There were limits to her strange movements, and I had finally been able to capitalize on one. Released from her forced slide, Kay stumbled backward into the railing, but I couldn''t let her go over the side. This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. If she could get some distance from me, she''d be free to teleport around again. Fortunately, that didn''t seem possible when I was actually holding onto her. More importantly, the last time I was sure she was killed by the waves, she''d surprise attacked me. Besides, I had no idea what would happen to Shadow if it fell into the plasma sea, and since it seemed to be linked to the survival of Forest Lake, it was a risk I didn''t want to take. Not releasing my grip around her waist, I tried to throw her to the ground next to the rail. She managed to keep her feet under her, but in doing so, she brought the rake near me, and I grabbed hold of it. I didn''t like the idea of bludgeoning a person to death, but options were in short supply. Besides, I had even less interest in being bludgeoned to death. I wrenched the tool from her hands easier than expected, and, for a second, I was sure she''d hop back to get distance for her lagging teleport; I lunged after her to prevent the retreat. However, she didn''t back up; she leaped over the ship''s rail. I swore, and without thought, I swung the rake over my head and down in a great arc. I was desperate to keep her from getting away¡ªto keep her from destroying herself and the Shadow out of pure spite. Desperate to react in a way that wouldn''t have a cost, I changed the rake in my hands. The rake head transformed every bit as easily as Hands had changed his own Dreamland. My swing connected, and a sharp hook pierced Kay''s back, penetrated cleanly through her body, and embedded itself in the stone of the ship. The wooden haft jerked in my hands as the entire weight of her body was jolted to a halt in the crook of the hook. I gagged as I watched her hands scrabble briefly at the metal spike sticking out of her chest. I had to turn my head away and squeeze my eyes shut. When I brought myself to look again, she was hanging limp. It took surprisingly little strength to drag her body back onto the ship, but the effort was still almost beyond me. This was not the kind of life I''d ever wanted. And I wasn''t done. I needed her memory crystal in her brain to reclaim the Shadow, or so Sori claimed. I reshaped the rake again into an axe. I wondered if I''d ever be able to use it in my rock garden for its intended purpose. The chop was quick but far from clean. Despite getting blood in my fur, I didn¡¯t immediately change back to human. Stopping Kay, reclaiming the Shadow, both were necessary. I still regretted it. I didn¡¯t want to accept the brutal nature of life on earth, or at least I wanted to believe we could overcome that nature. Perhaps one day we will. It won''t happen by accident, though. It won''t happen without sacrifice. We carry so much baggage from our evolution in a world of predator and prey, of survival of the fittest. If the American experiment proved anything, it proved that having plenty can¡¯t negate the fearful and compulsive natures that let our ancestors survive the wilds. With Kay¡¯s blood cooling on my hands, I could admit that even the religious zealotry that spawned her trauma monster was, itself, likely a result of generational trauma. That didn¡¯t make her actions excusable, but it also wouldn¡¯t be defeated with violence. If humanity ever wanted to live in a utopia, we¡¯d have to find a way to overcome our superstition and brain chemistry both. We''d need to find a way to build an ever-changing world that embraced reason and understanding¡ªto harness our anxieties for the common good of all people and peoples. I couldn¡¯t decide if that chance was gone forever or closer than ever before. After all, we¡¯d officially entered a post-scarcity world where the time loop meant food would never run out. Either way, as a wolf, I already had blood on my hands; in a fit of my own superstition, or at least compulsive symbolism, I didn¡¯t want that blood on my human hands. The shadow remained on Kay like a shroud until I pulled the crystal from her head. The darkness streamed between her and the crystal, like iron filings when a magnet was brought close. Then, the Shadow began to flow over my hand and up my arm. The crystal became a growing node of darkness, collecting the Shade from Kay and painting my glowing fur with a dark tint that muted my glow. When the transfer was done, my glow had been largely smothered, leaving me with dark, glossy fur that shimmered a deep blue. Kay was dead, but she¡¯d be respawned at the start of the next loop. She¡¯d respawn without any memories since the Vortex fell and without the influence of of her created demon. I decided I¡¯d store her corrupted memory crystal, which looked like two crystals had been melted together. I wanted to chuck it into the sea and let the waves take it, but I decided to talk to Sori before trying to destroy it permanently. I returned to the Shadow Alcove and placed the gem on the shelf. Only then did I notice a problem. Light still streamed in from the end of the alcove that had opened into the chapel, except now that entryway was blocked off with the same ethereal haze that made up the Vortex. ¡°Well, shit,¡± I swore. Taking the shadow from Kay must have broken the connection. ¡°Yeah, yeah, hold your horses. I can¡¯t believe you broke the connection to the outside world while still in the ether. How dumb are you?¡± Sori¡¯s voice said from nowhere. ¡°Uh, Sorry?¡± I apologized confusedly. ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s me; just don¡¯t do anything drastic like throwing yourself overboard to try to escape. I¡¯ve got¡ªah, here he is.¡± The portal to the chapel snapped back into place, and I took a limping step back as Hands stepped through. ¡°Hello, Oberon.¡± ¡°Double shit.¡± --== 70 An Alliance Of Necessity ---=Chapter 70: An Alliance of Necessity---= It hardly seemed fair that Hands should be showing up now. For that matter, it hardly seemed likely. "Sori, you fucker. You double-crossed me?" Despite looking like a werewolf, my voice still came out as the baritone I was in my masculine ether body. Hands smiled, and it appeared genuine¡ªamused. "Too trusting by half, but not as much a fool as I feared," he said as he walked in. "But you''re only half right. Sori did come to be, but not to betray you. He claimed you''d need an exit." "Last I saw, you were trying your hardest to kill Sori and weren''t exactly gentle with me," I said, anger adding a growl to my voice. "You''re immortal, Oberon. You can''t expect me to play with kid gloves." Hands replied deadpan. "I SAID IT HURT!" I shouted, leaning forward and taking an infuriated step at the suited man. My original tenor voice and Nia''s alto joined my baritone scream into a discordant cacophony of voices. I jumped in surprise as the Shadow Alcove literally shook with my rage, to the point the crystals clattered on the shaking shelves. My hands were clenched and my teeth were bared in a snarl as I glared at the humanoid dolphin monster. "Interesting. Perhaps Sori was wrong; perhaps you didn''t need help after all, and you''d rather stay at odds. Of course, you''re trapped in the dream while I''ve been given access to the Shadow¡ª" "Temporarily," Sori''s voice butted in. "Don''t get all high and mighty. Sam needs an exit, or I''d make him swear to delete you." "Of course. As you can see, ours is an alliance of necessity. Unfortunately, that need extends to yourself. We may never be friends, but I believe our goals align enough for us to work together." "Well, then we have a problem," I sighed, my shoulders slumping in resignation, "because I decided I can''t let Sori hold Nia hostage." "What!?" Sori asked. "You''re kidding; I thought we''d settled this. You leave town, and I''ll give you the girl for food or whatever." Sori''s voice still came from empty air; I wasn''t sure why he wasn''t appearing. Hands just raised his eyebrow at Sori''s suggestion that I might eat Nia, but he didn''t seem overly concerned. "What? No, see, this is part of the problem. I wouldn''t ever eat a person¡ª" "Not even a Dolphin?" Sori interrupted. "No, Jesus, not even a dolphin, and definitely not a human child. More importantly, her life isn''t yours or mine to barter with." "Then we''re back to Forest Lake being destroyed down to the bedrock. How is that better?" Sori complained. "It seems neat to me that each of us would be expected to compromise, Oberon." Hands said, rubbing at his bare chin. "Were it up to me, we''d leave no. The Eye would also like you gone immediately, and you want to spend eternity trying to save people who run from you on sight. None of us are getting exactly what we want." I nodded, conceding the point. "I get that, but again, Nia has no part in that. And right now, she has no voice other than me. I don''t have the right to act only on my own interests here." "Well, Sam, we both know you''re an unapologetic liar, so I can''t just take you at your word," Sori said, projecting his own habit on me. On the shelf next to me sat the only blue memory crystal. I nodded toward it. "That''s the crystal with my memories of the last two months. And I''ve gained my shadow back. According to you, that''s all I''d need to regain my body. What if I left that with you as insurance instead?" "Hmm, well, you are really vain. I suppose I could trust you to a little with that in my pocket. Still, it doesn''t give me leverage over your timetable in the same way. Besides, you''ll still need to use Nia''s voice. How do you expect that to work if I let her go?" Hands and I stood a few body lengths away from each other, the tension slowly building in my shoulders and back as I lowered my head and growled. "So what now, we try to kill each other?" Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on. I was in no shape for another fight. My throat was bruised, my bullet wounds throbbed, and I didn''t have nearly the practice molding the ether that Hands had, not that I was sure that would work here in the Shadow Alcove. On top of that, there was no telling what kind of tricks Sori might pull out. This wasn''t a fight I could realistically win, but I wouldn''t just roll over. I saw one of Hands''s pointer fingers tapping thoughtfully against his leg. It occurred to me that I wasn''t sure if he was here in the flesh or as a mental construct. Whenever I''d been in the ether with just my mind, it felt solid, and that didn''t change just because I was physically present. "What if you release the girl into my custody." Hands said, glancing between me and an empty space over his shoulder. "She can be kept safe in my Dreamland. There''s a community of people who will look after her, I''m sure, and Oberon can keep an eye on her at his leisure. If he decides to go back on his word, I am more than motivated enough to offer her up as leverage." "That might work. You understand you''d have to give me access to your Domain to maintain Sam¡¯s voice¡ªor rather, Nia¡¯s voice.¡± Sori¡¯s voice seemed to be coming from the empty space Hands was addressing, making me wonder if Hands could actually see the Eye. ¡°As I told Oberon, each of us must compromise. If we can agree to this shared goal, however reluctantly, I can do my part to ensure its success.¡± Of course, it wasn¡¯t that simple, and we spent the next quarter hour hammering out a deal. Ultimately, I agreed to let Hands take custody of Nia on the condition that she be allowed outside contact and that Hands and Sori teach us how to make illusions. Kay might no longer be Bogey, but she¡¯d gotten that way when she thought her daughter had become demon-possessed. Kay wouldn¡¯t be the only one who¡¯d react badly to Nia¡¯s bat wings and horns. Even if Kay¡¯s immediate calls for murder were likely to be uncommon, I didn¡¯t want people reacting to her with fear for her appearance if it could be helped. Hands agreed to try teaching Nia but was clear that he could make no promises she could learn. Sori was adamant that he be the one to teach me for some reason, and I was too excited thinking about how much easier illusions would make things to realize the trap he¡¯d laid until it was too late. After that, it was time to free Nia from the golden exit, where she still stood frozen mid-step. ¡°I really think we should wake up Alice first,¡± I said as Hands and a still invisible Sori followed me out of the Shadow Alcove and into the ship''s hull. ¡°It would just waste time; some of us are actually busy, you know,¡± Sori replied. ¡°She¡¯ll be fine; I promised no more glamours on her, remember?¡± ¡°You were toying with her emotions even before illusions were brought into things.¡± I countered. ¡°She¡¯s going to be a wreck, and the only one she even kind of knows is me, and that¡¯s barely.¡± ¡°Good thing you finally vanished her mom¡¯s blood from your hands then, huh? Or¡ª can human children recognize the scene of familial blood? They can, right? I mean, I can, and I¡¯m an eye.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know why you are. But no, Nia wouldn¡¯t have known it was her mom¡¯s.¡± I could have told him that it wouldn¡¯t have mattered, that she would have still been scared. I could have said that I didn¡¯t want to be the kind of person who killed easily or freely and that it was a symbolic gesture. The truth was, I just hadn¡¯t thought of it. Maebe, Alice, and Jessica would need to be brought into the Shade Alcove to reconnect with their memories, but Sori seemed to think that they¡¯d just slow everything down with questions, and he wanted to get his part done. As it turned out, we were both wrong. Nia wasn¡¯t fine, but neither was she looking for comfort. She was pissed that Sori had toyed with her and manipulated her emotions to trap her. Sori wanted me to hurry up and ¡®give her to Hands,¡¯ but part of the reason I¡¯d agreed to this was because it allowed me to ask her what she was willing to do. ¡°So, if I go with Hands, I¡¯ll be his prisoner for a year, but I¡¯ll get to learn to make illusions?¡± ¡°Only sort of a prisoner.¡± I objected. ¡°No, she¡¯ll totally be a prisoner,¡± Sori corrected. ¡°Okay, yes, but Hands will make sure you¡¯re taken care of, and Alice can come visit. It¡¯ll be more like boarding school than a prison.¡± ¡°What about my mom? She¡ªis she...¡± Nia trailed off, tears filling up her eyes as she looked for a question that could encapsulate the nightmare she¡¯d lived through. I sighed and put a furry arm on her shoulder. I¡¯d chosen to remain in my werewolf form since it was the one she was most familiar with, but I allowed myself to transition to my more masculine self, the fur bleeding away into nothingness. ¡°Honestly Nia, I don¡¯t know. I hope so, but we¡¯ll have to see. Your sister, for sure, though.¡± Nia stiffened as the change began, but she relaxed when my voice stayed the same. "Okay," Nia said quietly. "Okay? Are you sure?" Nia shrugged, "I guess. I mean, I can just pretend it''s a magic boarding school." My eyebrows shot up and I turned to look at Hands, an idea coming to me. "Hands, how do you look in a beard?" ---= ---=- 71 What Happens Next? --=-Chapter 71: What Happens Next?--=- With Nia set free and my missing memories given to Sori as replacement collateral, Sori told Hands to hurry up and then vanished¡ªwell, left. He was still only visible to Hands for reasons he refused to explain. Hands didn¡¯t necessarily need to be around, except that he was Nia¡¯s warden, and I needed Nia¡¯s to help me get Alice and company on the same page. Hands had brought goons with him¡ªwell, he¡¯d brought Steve and Larry anyway¡ªand at some unseen communication, they wheeled in Alice, Jessica, and Maebe¡¯s catatonic bodies. ¡°Can we start with Alice?¡± Nia asked. ¡°That¡¯s probably for the best; Hands and I won''t be familiar to any of them; we¡¯d just be random guys.¡± ¡°A problem that¡¯s overcome easily enough. Even you should be able to change your appearance here.¡± Hands said. ¡°I mean, I can, but not into anyone they know.¡± Hands¡¯s appearance changed to that of Anderson, and when he spoke, his voice was also Anderson¡¯s. I hadn¡¯t considered that he¡¯d be able to do auditory illusions, but then, how else had he spoken as a dolphin? ¡°Okay, that¡¯s great, but we need them to trust us for more than a minute. The second they leave this place and see Anderson¡¯s body, our efforts will immediately be undone. Besides, we¡¯d need to tell Alice about you and your domain anyway.¡± ¡°As well as my ability with illusions, but I take your point.¡± Hands replied, regaining his previous appearance of a suited gentleman. I didn¡¯t know from looking which of the dozen memory crystals was Alice¡¯s, but Sori said to just try them all until one worked. One at a time, Nia pressed the crystals to Alice¡¯s forehead. ¡°You don¡¯t think the sight of her sister as a demon from folklore will scare the good doctor?¡± Hands asked. ¡°Oh crap, I forgot. Can you?¡± I gestured vaguely toward Nia ¡°Hold a moment, Calfling,¡± Hands said to Nia, ¡°and pay attention. When you cast an illusion on yourself, you¡¯ll only see it if you wish to. If I cast on you, you¡¯ll have to try to pierce it, to believe in its falseness.¡± Nia¡¯s increased height remained, but her wings and horns were gone. ¡°Nia¡¯s normally not that tall,¡± I pointed out. ¡°I¡¯m aware. If I change her height, she¡¯ll be looking through an illusion that blocks most light. It would take time to overcome and would threaten the stability of the rest of the illusion. This will be enough. Nia, please continue; I, too, have business to be about.¡± A few moments later, Alice was blinking to focus her eyes and then sat up in a panic. ¡°Shit! No!¡± she said, flailing. ¡°Don¡¯t¡ª What? Nia?¡± ¡°Alice! Alice, it¡¯s okay! Alice!¡± Nia started trying to get Alice¡¯s attention right away, but the disorientation made it take a second. ¡°Nia? Where am I? What happened? Where¡¯s? Oh, that bitch. That BITCH!¡± Alice said, looking around. ¡°Nia, where¡¯s your mom?¡± ¡°She¡¯s gone, for now,¡± I said for Nia, who was understandably torn on the whole thing. ¡°She¡¯s insane.¡± Alice spat. ¡°I know. I...Well, she won''t be as bad in the future, but I¡¯m not sure she was ever far from that particular edge.¡± ¡°And who are you?¡± Alice said, pushing herself off the gurney and unsteadily to her feet. We spent a few minutes getting Alice caught up. Unfortunately, she didn¡¯t have much in the way of memories from the previous loop, which wasn¡¯t to say she didn¡¯t have any. ¡°Sam¡­ Oberon. I know that name. Aren¡¯t you supposed to be a werewolf?¡± ¡°Oberon, you can go over that with her later. What matters now is her choice.¡± Hands interjected. ¡°My choice?¡± I told her how she¡¯d been attacked by Crowseph and that the trauma of that event had manifested as a monster that would hunt her if we let her keep her memories. ¡°You have a few choices. You can try to face it, Hands, remove the illusion on Nia.¡± ¡°Fine,¡± Hands said, as the illusion on Nia vanished, ¡°but that¡¯s the last time you make a demand of me. I¡¯m not here to do tricks for your amusement.¡± Alice took Nia¡¯s transformation largely in stride, responding with curiosity more than anything else. ¡°May I?¡± She asked, reaching tentatively toward her sister. She spent several minutes convincing herself they were real. ¡°Both Nia and her mom reunited with their repressed memories. Nia was able to accept and adapt to the trauma she experienced. Kay was overwhelmed by it, fixated on it. Her pain was also self-inflicted, and I¡¯m guessing there were deeper issues involved. If you face your trauma, those memories will change you. Only you can know if you''re capable of facing your past and growing beyond it or if you¡¯ll be consumed by it.¡± I explained. ¡°That sounds like a pretty big risk. I take it there are reasons I shouldn¡¯t keep avoiding it?¡± The biggest problem with avoiding the monster was that it left the monster roaming about attacking random people, and I told Alice as much. ¡°There are also advantages. Namely, you¡¯ll stop forgetting when the days reset. Nia will be learning to create illusions with Hands, and, to be frank she¡¯s a hostage to make me follow another¡¯s schedule. She could use an ally around that knew what was happening.¡± ¡°You wouldn¡¯t necessarily have to face your demons to stay with your sister.¡± Hands interjected. ¡°You''re welcome to join her in my Dreamland. You¡¯ll face your past, but you won''t be required to accept it, and you¡¯ll have a community to protect you from its attacks.¡± If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. ¡°We can also erase all your memories since the day of the apocalypse. That may not seem like much, but you¡¯ve got memories you don¡¯t always know you have.¡± ¡°Like knowing your name...¡± Alice said thoughtfully. ¡°Exactly. You¡¯ll lose that. Your repressed memory will be destroyed along with the rest of your memories. It¡¯s become dangerous out there, though, and you could find yourself in this same situation again pretty easily, especially since you¡¯ll barely remember anything from each loop. Which means you won''t be able to help Nia.¡± ¡°Help her with what?¡± ¡°We have one year to evacuate everyone in town before we lose our chance.¡± ¡°I¡¯d think people would jump at the chance to escape.¡± ¡°It¡¯s going to require accepting some pretty outrageous truths, but we can talk about that more later,¡± I said, seeing Hands impatiently checking the time on his illusory watch. I had to assume it was performative, but if he was trying to hurry me up, it worked. ¡°You should also know that erasing your memories will require one of two things. You can either jump into an ocean of plasma, or we can operate and remove a crystal from your brain.¡± ¡°Wait, I did that. I had a patient with a crystal that suddenly appeared in his brain while we were operating. The next thing I knew, I wasn¡¯t in surgery anymore.¡± ¡°Mr. Peterson, I know,¡± I supplied. ¡°I¡¯m a little surprised you remember that the timing seems off. Yes, Hands, I see you. I¡¯ve never tried getting someone caught up on all this. Can I have a minute?¡± ¡°I¡¯m just watching the clock, not setting the schedule. Take all the time you want, but if the sands run out, don¡¯t blame that on me.¡± ¡°Then, let me save you time. I¡¯m not running. And I don¡¯t want to forget. If my sister needs help, that just makes it even easier.¡± Nia threw herself at Alice and burst into tears. She¡¯d been playing it cool since we¡¯d woken her sister up, but understandably, she was still vulnerable. ¡°Well then,¡± Hands said after giving the sisters a bare few seconds to find comfort in one another. ¡°Then Nia and I will take our leave. Alice, should you wish to visit your sister, simply come to physical therapy, and you¡¯ll be shown the way. Oberon, until next time. Come along, Nia, the day grows long.¡± ¡°Wait, can¡¯t I stay until they¡¯ve woken the others?¡± ¡°I¡¯m afraid not; there are other matters to attend to. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll see them again in good time.¡± He only gave the sisters a few seconds to say goodbye, but I knew it wouldn¡¯t be forever. ¡°Alright, well, we¡¯ll have to find your trauma monster before you can confront it, but I know where we can start looking. For now, we¡¯ll need to wake Jessica and Maebe and give them the same choice. ¡°Waking them means they¡¯ll have to choose between accepting their trauma and brain surgery?¡± ¡°Brain surgery or death, but yes. They could also stay in here, as you might need to, until we find your trauma monster. If they chose that, they¡¯d be stuck following me around, though.¡± ¡°Then, if you can wake Jessica up without restoring her memories, you should. She went to Kay looking for help, and Kay promised to take the bad memories away. She may not have known everything, but she chose this.¡± I wanted to argue. I wanted Jessica to meet the real me. The memories I¡¯d be destroying would include those moments of closeness shared in the waiting room and whatever partial memories she had that made her trust me in the first place. I didn¡¯t want her to lose those. I didn''t want to lose them. ¡°You¡¯re sure? There was a lot she didn¡¯t know when she decided that.¡± I tried halfheartedly. ¡°As much as I can be. Jessica is great, but she doesn¡¯t deal with fear well. And she was scared, physically shaking from fear.¡± I wasn¡¯t sure there was a right choice here. It seemed wrong to utterly destroy Jessica''s memories without at least informing her. And yet, from the sound of it, she¡¯d already made a choice, if an uninformed one. Ultimately, I¡¯d only known her briefly, and I couldn¡¯t justify ignoring Alice¡¯s insight, even if it felt wrong. We still had to go through the process of going through crystals to find Jessica''s, but when we found the right one, I simply pocketed it for later disposal in the plasma. Neither of us knew Maebe¡¯s story, so we did wake her up. She also wasn¡¯t confident in facing her pain, so after making Alice promise to keep an eye on her, we went up to the stone ship. ¡°You don¡¯t have to jump. We can take the crystal back out.¡± ¡°It''s okay. I think I¡¯d rather have the control.¡± Maebe said quietly. She hadn¡¯t said much about what happened to her, but I got the impression that, unlike Jessica, she hadn¡¯t chosen for things to go that way. ¡°Don¡¯t forget, you promised to look out for me.¡± And then she jumped. It was an utterly silent affair. There was no splash, no yell of pain or surprise, just instant incineration. Having died several times, I didn¡¯t know what to feel about it. Like me, she wasn¡¯t dead. She¡¯d just lost a couple months of vague memories and her old connection to Crowseph¡¯s trauma monster. I tossed Jessica¡¯s crystal in next. It felt like saying goodbye, but it wouldn¡¯t have to be forever. ¡°What happens next?¡± Alice said. ¡°Next, we take Jessica out of here, and hopefully, she wakes up. Then we go find Mr. Peterson and see if we can offer him the same choice.¡± ¡°What about that Crow guy?¡± ¡°Crowseph¡± ¡°I¡¯m not calling him that. Won¡¯t he be a problem?¡± ¡°I''ve got a plan for him. And we have to start looking for your trauma somewhere." ¡°Okay...And then what?¡± ¡°And then I start trying to organize people so they¡¯ll know what to do in a year¡¯s time. It means I¡¯m going to have to leave the hospital. I¡¯ll leave things there to you and Nia, and I suppose Hands as well.¡± ¡°What about you? No one¡¯s going to help you?¡± ¡°Maybe. We¡¯ll see. I¡¯ll find help along the way, if nothing else. You don¡¯t have to worry about that. Just get things organized here and take care of your sister.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t seem like enough.¡± ¡°I mean, I¡¯ll be around. Learn everything you can, and keep me updated. Right now, I¡¯m mostly relying on the ramblings of a delusional personal assistant.¡± --=- --== 72 Here it Comes --==Chapter 72: Here It Comes.--== I probably owed Steve and Larry a favor. I hadn¡¯t considered the horror show I¡¯d be walking Alice and Jessica into. Anderson, Buck, and Denis had been removed, but there were still drying puddles of blood and awful on the floor and infesting the air. Alice pushed Jessica out of the Shadow entrance behind me and swore. ¡°Jesus. What happened here?¡± Before I could come up with an answer, Jessica¡¯s aura sputtered and flickered back into existence, and she began to stir. I¡¯d been wearing my preferred human shape when I exited the Shadow, but I was back in my werewolf form when I passed through the portal. It wasn¡¯t really a surprise, but it was disappointing. ¡°Hmm? What? Where am I? Ohmygod!¡± Jessica yelped, jumping up from her chair on seeing me. ¡°Hey, hey, you¡¯re okay, Jessica, calm down,¡± Alice said, touching Jessica¡¯s arm to get her attention. ¡°Oh jeez, Alice, thank God. I saw that guy¡¯s costume and panicked for a second. What happened?¡± ¡°A lot,¡± I said, and it was Nia¡¯s voice that came out. ¡°Whoa, that¡¯s not the voice I expected,¡± Jessica said. Alice was giving me a weird look. ¡°That¡¯s Nia¡¯s voice.¡± ¡°Like I said, a lot¡¯s happened. Long story short, almost 80 days have passed since the town got surrounded. We¡¯re stuck in a time loop that people mostly don¡¯t remember. Jessica, you extra don¡¯t remember because we had to erase your memories to stop you from being hunted by a monster.¡± Jessica gave me an embarrassed smile like she wasn¡¯t sure if she was missing the joke or if I was just out of my mind. ¡°What?¡± ¡°No, he¡¯s right. It¡¯s not safe out there. We¡¯re getting you to your car, and then we¡¯re going monster hunting.¡± Jessica might have taken more convincing to accept the story, except the bloody room removed the possibility that Alice was pulling some kind of joke. I didn¡¯t know the time, but from how Hands and Sori had acted, I knew there couldn¡¯t be much time left before the day looped. I was also fresh out of weapons if we got attacked by a monster or a cultist. The passage had automatically closed behind me when I¡¯d left the Shadow Alcove. As it did, I felt the connection and an odd confidence that I could access it again as needed. The casual demonstration of something so fantastical also went a long way to prove to Jessica that the ordinary world of yesterday was gone. "That''s not a costume, is it?" Jessica said, her voice quietly terrified. Confident that I could open and close the Shadow Alcove at will, I had the two women follow me back inside. ¡°It''s not safe to talk out here, but I get that you have questions, Jessica. Follow me, and I¡¯ll take you somewhere safe that you can talk.¡± Thankfully, with a little prodding from Alice, she followed. Jessica looked out over the Stone ship after coming up from the hold. ¡°The world has gone completely mad. How?¡± ¡°I wish I had all the answers. I have more than Alice, but that has to wait for a bit. I need to go check on your patient and threaten a bad guy.¡± ¡°Oh shit, you¡¯re just a guy,¡± Jessica said in surprise as I returned to my real form. ¡°It¡¯s a perk of this place,¡± I explained; then I had an idea. ¡°Oh, you know what, wait here.¡± I popped into the cabin, and there on the desk was a copy of the comic I¡¯d drawn with Sori¡¯s help. I probably could have just summoned it from thin air, but I was still getting the hang of things, and it was easier to imagine it might still be on the desk. I left the cabin with the comic in hand and held it out to Jessica. ¡°Here, you two go through this. It¡¯ll explain some things, and Alice will know some others. This place should be pretty safe; just don¡¯t go into the ocean, and if a floating eye appears and claims to be god, don¡¯t believe a word he says.¡± ¡°Um, what?¡± Alice and Jessica said in unison. ¡°Just stay here. Read the comic. Explore if you want, or rake the zen garden. I¡¯ll be back.¡± Realistically, there wasn¡¯t much else that absolutely needed to be taken care of this loop. If the day restarted, I wouldn¡¯t lose much time. On the other hand, I was ready to leave the hospital. When I left the chapel, I avoided even looking at the stairwell I¡¯d killed Jon in. I wondered if someone had moved his body too or if it was still lying there, cooling. I took an elevator up a level to Surgery, but a search through the operating rooms didn¡¯t turn up Mr. Peterson, even after I found the room with operating equipment still lying loose. Without Alice to pull out his memory crystal before his head inexplicably healed closed¡ªwhich was just another mystery I couldn¡¯t begin to answer¡ªhe could have just woken up. Judging by the general disarray, I was guessing he¡¯d still been here when his trauma monster showed up. For better or worse, there was no sign of either. I could only hope we didn¡¯t have another Bogey monster running around. My next stop was to confront Crowseph. They¡¯d been faster and stronger than me before¡ªand probably still were. But they¡¯d also been wary of me as a Rememberer. Since I was in control of my Shadow again, I could permanently damage their hive-flock. I should be able to threaten them into leaving my people alone. Eventually, they¡¯d have to be dealt with, but I didn¡¯t think I¡¯d be able to manage it without a great deal of planning and support. I wasn¡¯t sure how many minds had been collected, but I was sure they were many. I wasn¡¯t going to go in there without a weapon. The shotgun would be the better tool for the job, and if this went badly, it¡¯s what I¡¯d go with next time. Since that wouldn¡¯t be an option for a bit yet, I decided to swing around to the Doctor¡¯s break room and grab Anderson¡¯s golf clubs. Besides, he had that Tam hat I liked. I might as well take it with me. I half expected to run into cultists or someone¡¯s trauma monster as I walked around the hospital, but it seemed like they¡¯d mostly cleared out. With the hat and clubs collected, I made my way back to the ER, stopping only to grab my bat and backpack from the lobby bathroom. I probably didn¡¯t need all the weapons, but there was a comfort in it if I was facing that monster again. A few minutes later, I kicked open the swinging door between the ICU and the ER, a golf club in each hand. ¡°Crowseph, you ass hole, we need to talk,¡± I shouted diplomatically in Nia¡¯s alto tones. Not so much as a feather rustled. There was no movement, no rhythmic cawing, or any cawing. There was, in fact, no sign of a single bird at all. Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more. I knew his giant crow-monster form could move and hit like a freight train, so I stayed on my toes as I walked deeper into the ER. It was empty, save for three dead crow-like monsters piled on the floor in front of a stool. Sitting on the chair were three crystals; two were lifeless rocks crisscrossed with cracks that made them look ready to shatter. The third crystal glowed softly, and I¡¯d bet my stolen hat that it was Alice¡¯s. I checked the rest of the ER to be sure, but it seemed like Crowseph had caught wind that I¡¯d gotten my shadow back and cleared out before I could come back to settle things. He¡¯d also left behind the most pressing reasons I had to chase him. I lamented, for a moment, that, had I come here first, things might have gone differently with Jessica and Maebe. I knew it was a fantasy and also too late, but I regretted the loss all the same. I collected some supplies from the ER, just stuff I was sure I knew how to use. I was leaving the hospital and going out into a town overrun with fear and monsters. I wanted to be able to offer more than just violence everywhere I went. I didn¡¯t have any medical training, but I knew the basics of first aid. I walked out into the parking lot and toward the patrol car where this had all started. Standing next to the patrol car, bat in hand, backpack filled with medical supplies and snacks, I used the only memory crystal I had to set my spawn point. The polished stone barely showed any signs of cracking, and I had hopes I could use it multiple times to get deeper into town, but that was for later. I had one last task to accomplish first, one more introduction to make. I opened up the Shadow Alcove and walked through it. There were still multiple crystals sitting on the shelves. I didn¡¯t know who they belonged to, but they could stay in storage until I did. I also realized I no longer needed to carry everything on my person. Between the Shadow Alcove and my Stone Ship, I could store anything that even might be useful. ¡°Alright, you two,¡± I said, walking up onto the ship. Come on out, I¡¯ve got Alice¡¯s crystal and a couple¡­ uh, persons to introduce you to.¡± Part of the reason I¡¯d gone to the patrol car was because it felt appropriate to leave where I¡¯d started. And partly because I wanted the Gremlins to have warning we were coming. They wouldn¡¯t be able to see us with the Haze, but our voices would carry, and they should at least recognize Nia¡¯s. Last I¡¯d seen them, I left them watching over Nia¡¯s body. That almost brought me up short. She¡¯d only been in the ether with her mind when Sori trapped her, but Hands had brought her out into the real world when they¡¯d left. There were shenanigans afoot, but they probably weren¡¯t anything to worry about¡­ ¡®probably.¡¯ The two surgeons followed me out into the parking lot and looked around. Neither one had actually seen the Vortex up close or the Haze that visibly occluded the air at any distance wider than a hallway. ¡°Wow. It didn¡¯t feel real, but we¡¯re really trapped, aren¡¯t we? Just like in California.¡± Jessica said. ¡°We¡¯re so screwed,¡± Alice added. I nodded my werewolf head. ¡°Yes, and maybe. I don¡¯t think things will ever be what they were. But we¡¯ll get out of here. I really believe that. I have to. And things aren¡¯t as bad as they seem. I mean, it wasn¡¯t that long ago that I wouldn¡¯t have been able to nod in agreement, let alone speak. Things have gone strange but not hopeless. We have to work together, and we have to overcome our past. With that in mind, Alice. This is yours.¡± Moving slowly, I pulled Alice¡¯s trauma crystal from my pocket. I¡¯d been curious to see if she¡¯d feel it while it was stored away, and apparently, the answer was no. When her eyes landed on it, she took an involuntary step back, and her breath hitched. ¡°Oh.¡± She said, her voice weak. ¡°What? What¡¯s wrong.¡± Jessica asked with concern. ¡°This is a manifestation of something bad that happened to her. Something her mind doesn¡¯t want to remember or even acknowledge. But, if she can face this terrible experience and accept it without becoming consumed by or fixated on it, it¡¯ll change her. She¡¯ll be able to remember the time loops going forward.¡± Jessica looked scared enough for the both of them as she stared at the crystal. ¡°What, what kind of memory? Why does she have to remember that? Isn¡¯t there another way?¡± ¡°Yes, sort of. She can stay in my Shadow. You both can. You''ll keep your memories if you¡¯re in there when the day loops. But she¡¯d have to stay in there to be safe. If I die and she¡¯s outside, she won''t be able to return to the Shadow without me. And I have died more times than I like to think about.¡± ¡°And if I stay in there, I can¡¯t see or help Nia or my friends,¡± Alice said weakly. It wasn¡¯t a question, but I nodded anyway. She took several deep breaths, walked forward, and grabbed the stone before cringing and tensing up. She opened one eye and looked at me. ¡°Is that it?¡± ¡°Press it to your head.¡± She did, and then she screamed. Her scream lasted only a heartbeat before her mouth slammed shut, and she collapsed to the ground. ¡°Alice!¡± Jessica yelped and hurried to her side. Before she could get there, Alice stood back up. She wasn¡¯t any taller, but her aura had tripled in strength, making her radiant. Black feathers stuck up like a scattering of leaves in her hair and grew as a sleeve down her arms, disappearing under her shirt. Her eyes were also solid black, like the avian that had inspired them. ¡°Oh shit,¡± Jessica said, pulling her hand back. ¡°What? Is it bad?¡± Alice said, sounding nervous. I¡¯d tensed up when I¡¯d seen the feathers and black eyes. For a second, I thought I would have to take down another Bogey. ¡°You sort of have a Raven Queen situation going on. Long sleeves and sunglasses will let you get by, though,¡± I said. ¡°How do you feel?¡± ¡°G-good. Strange. Did the world get foggy all of a sudden?¡± Alice asked. I was a little caught off guard; I¡¯d wondered if others could see the fog, nobody had mentioned it. I¡¯d assumed it was because it wasn¡¯t as noticeable indoors, but apparently, it just wasn¡¯t visible at all. ¡°Uh, yes and no. Something to table for the moment. There¡¯s a married couple I want to introduce you to.¡± My heart was beginning to beat faster, and I was feeling anxious. I didn¡¯t think it was the idea of introducing the Gremlins. If anything, I was in a hurry to get to them because they had been good for my anxiety in the past. Alice and Jessica followed me as I walked toward the bike path that the Gremlin hut was built near. ¡°Mother, Father, I¡¯ve brought guests.¡± Mother and Father Gremlin were staring off into the city, but I couldn¡¯t see what they were looking at. ¡°These are your parents?¡± Alice asked, as though she were trying to be careful not to put any judgment into her voice. I giggled with Nia¡¯s voice, which must have been extremely incongruous, ¡°No, hilarious, but no. I mean, I¡¯d take them over my real parents; they¡¯re great. But it¡¯s just the names they¡¯ve given one another.¡± ¡°Oberon,¡± Father said. Mother was still pregnant, and in her smaller size, so it was easy to tell them apart. Neither turned to look. ¡°Here it comes.¡± A shiver went through me at their words, and I peered into the Haze, but I could only barely make out shadowy shapes of buildings in the distance. ¡°What are they looking at?¡± Alice asked. ¡°Oh my God,¡± Jessica whispered on top of her, her voice hushed and her whole body beginning to tremble. ¡°Oh God. Oh, Lord Jesus.¡± Her eyes were wide, and her breathing started to come in ragged gasps ¡°What? Jessica, what is it.¡± Alice asked, trying to sound comforting. Jessica just raised a trembling hand and pointed back toward the town. A cacophonous crashing explosion washed over us, followed a moment later by a basso thrum, and the Haze suddenly cleared. Off in the distance, a twisted monster of fur and fangs stood at the height of skyscrapers and shoved over a high-rise. I swore, ¡°Oh shit.¡± The sky flashed. I was standing next to the patrol car, bat in hand, backpack filled with medical supplies and snacks. --== -=-- 073 Shits Getting Weird Out There. In less than 49 weeks, the magic barrier of fog surrounding my town will collapse, permanently killing as many as a hundred thousand people. Standing outside a townee bar, I wished that was my only problem. A green haze wafted in my vision, a fog that was apparently only visible to us monsters. I adjusted my bulletproof vest with one blue-furred hand, hoping I wouldn''t need it this time, and prepared an emotional glamour. Putting a doggy grin on my werewolf face, I nonchalantly opened the wooden door of the bar and strolled in just in time to hear a voice say, ¡°One.¡± The voice in question came from a drunk bearded man who was pointing directly at me, having just finished a countdown. This was the third loop in a row that Craig had predicted my entrance. Of course, the stunned look on his face and most other patrons made it clear that few believed a monster was really about to walk in. One exception was the bartender, who continued pulling a beer draft, scarcely glancing at me. Like the bar he owned, Luke was unassuming but dependable. He never reacted to me until he was sure he knew the right move. ¡°I told you!¡± Craig slurred excitedly. From Craig''s perspective, the world had ended less than an hour ago, and he¡¯d already downed half a dozen beers, though I couldn''t say he didn''t have cause. ¡°I told said! And a monster here too, is it!¡± ¡°You!¡± Craig said, turning unsteadily in his seat to point directly at me¡ªor as close to ''directly'' as he could manage with his eyes so drunkenly crossed. ¡°You owe me money; I bet someone money you would be here, and here you are, so pay up!¡± I knew from previous loops that Craig had been making a spectacle of himself for a while, and many people had stopped paying him much attention as he insisted everything was a simulation and on a timer. There was no rushing for the exits when I walked in, in part, perhaps, because I was standing in the main entrance. Even if I wasn¡¯t in the way, most people would have stayed sitting. Craig wasn¡¯t the only one who half-remembered me. And while most people disagreed with him, they couldn¡¯t help but notice their own feelings of D¨¦j¨¤ vu. I was supposed to be looking for patterns in how people reacted¡ªhow they remembered. An allied doctor had asked it of me since she wasn¡¯t willing to leave her sister or the hospital behind. She was convinced there was a pattern to what was and wasn¡¯t remembered across loops. If there was one, I hadn¡¯t found it yet. I¡¯d spent weeks just looking for a group of people who didn¡¯t run from or try to kill me on sight. I¡¯d spent so long without being able to speak that I assumed gaining a voice would mean people would at least listen. There were more people in the bar than I¡¯d typically expect to find on an early afternoon on a weekday. Still, bars have long been a place of worship and community for the godless, so the time of day was less important than the circumstances. Everyone in the bar knew they¡¯d been trapped by the vortex. Some knew it was even worse than that. More importantly, there were most of two dozen people gathered in one place. Each person''s partial memories were also more freely shared thanks to the liquid courage lowering inhibitions enough to overcome any self-conscious doubts. For better or worse, this group of people had a better grasp of the events of the time loop than anyone else I¡¯d run across who wasn¡¯t a full Rememberer. And we were all a bunch of monsters. All eyes followed me as I walked up to the bar next to Craig. ¡°Well, Craig, you forgot to say how much money, so how about I buy you a beer, and we call it even. Luke, can I get two more?¡± ¡°Every time you come here, the reaction is more subdued,¡± Luke said in a voice slightly too loud for the abnormally hushed room. The first time I walked in, there were screams and shouts and people trying to scare me off like I was a wild animal. People threw things and ran out the back door. Luke had pulled a gun and shot into the ceiling to try to spook me. ¡°yeah, yours included.¡± I agreed as I accepted a beer from him with another grin. ¡°Uh, Luke, who¡¯s the girl?¡± Alejandra asked from across the room, ¡°And please tell me that¡¯s the world¡¯s best cosplay.¡± I winced at the prodded wound. Admittedly, since I looked like a 7¡¯ tall werewolf whose mouth movements didn¡¯t match my words and whose voice was that of a teenage girl, both assumptions were understandable, if annoying. Alejandra had been one of those who¡¯d run out the first time; the second time, she¡¯d just screamed and shrank back in her chair like the lawyer in Jurassic Park just before the T-Rex got him. This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°His name is Oberon,¡± Luke said, sliding another beer in front of Craig. My eyebrows rose in surprise; he hadn¡¯t known either thing last time. This was hardly terrible at all. The worst part was being called Oberon instead of Sam, and that was an intentional choice¡ªif one I was still unsure of. ¡°And this isn¡¯t cosplay,¡± I said, my voice wry. ¡°In case you haven¡¯t been paying attention. Shit''s getting weird out there.¡± As I spoke, I released the glamour I prepared, focusing it on Alejandra. In the last loop, she¡¯d worked herself up into a full panic attack. I¡¯d crafted the glamour with that understanding in mind. I redirected her attention away from my appearance and onto my posture. The glamour told her I was relaxed and there was no danger; fear was not needed. And it utterly failed to land. Despite my failure, Alejandra seemed only nervous and confused. It wasn¡¯t just Luke; everyone was learning unexpectedly fast. Maybe I¡¯d actually get some help. ¡°I take it you¡¯ve all been talking?¡± I said, guessing at why there might be such a pronounced difference in today¡¯s reaction. ¡°I told ''em der was a monster ''an you wers coming,¡± Craig slurred at me gesturing with his fresh beer. ¡°We¡¯ve been piecing some things together, not that any of it feels real or that we all agree,¡± Luke said. ¡°A monster killed a boy, I sawr it myself. Boy wasn¡¯t more ¡®an nine.¡± Craig sobbed into his chest, beer clenched tightly between both hands ¡°It wasn¡¯t me,¡± I said softly. Craig knew that, but I needed to make sure others did. ¡°I¡¯m sorry you saw that,¡± I told him, meaning it more than he could know. I''d seen my fair share of ugly and then some. And I knew what came with that kind of pain. ¡°Is it really a time loop? Like Groundhog¡¯s Day?¡± A feminine voice I didn¡¯t know asked. ¡°Can¡¯t we save the kid?¡± The new gal stood a few body lengths away from a dart board and threw two consecutive bullseyes to punctuate her sentence. Then she grinned sheepishly. ¡°I took a sick day, but there was no internet, so I started playing darts. The next thing I knew, I couldn¡¯t miss. I thought I might come win some money playing darts, only to find out the world ended when I wasn¡¯t paying attention.¡± I wasn¡¯t sure if I recognized her or not. Her voice wasn¡¯t familiar, but she was playing things pretty cool if this was the first time she¡¯d seen me. She may have been around before, but just quiet. ¡°In my experience, it¡¯s not as consistent as Groundhog Day.¡± I hedged. I¡¯d tried twice to set my spawn near enough to where the kid died that I¡¯d be able to intervene. Unfortunately, not everyone was as understanding as Craig, and I got attacked by an armed mob of monster-hunting civilians each time. It was just one more thing I needed recruits for. ¡°What are we doing?¡± A quiet voice said from an otherwise empty booth. Satoshi was my second choice for a glamour. ¡°Why are we humoring this demon? Why is no one fighting? This is America; where are the guns?!¡± his voice raised by the end, and he slammed a fist down on the table. ¡°Why should we let it force this on us? Why are we accepting this? Where is our fight?!¡± Satoshi spat. Satoshi wiped spittle from his lips and tears from his eyes, and a few people stood up to walk over to him to offer what comfort they could. Satoshi¡¯s entire family was outside the vortex; he was only in town on business. I didn¡¯t use a glamour on him for the same reason I didn¡¯t use one on Craig. There was something wrong about muting honest emotion for the sake of convenience. ¡°I don¡¯t have control over any of this. I didn¡¯t cause it. I¡¯m just trying to survive it like everyone else.¡± I replied gently, trying to keep heightened emotions from escalating things too early. ¡°No,¡± Alejandra said. ¡°That¡¯s not all, is it? You want something from us. Need something. Why else would you come here?¡± Glancing at the clock behind Luke, I stood up and leaned back against the bar to face the entrance. ¡°I don¡¯t deny that I need help. People are depending on me, and if anyone is ever going to escape this nightmare, I¡¯ll need your trust.¡± Spotting what I was looking for, I pushed away from the bar and leaned forward a bit, bracing myself without taking my eyes off the entrance. An explosion of noise was accompanied by shattering glass and wood as a hairless rabbit the size of a buffalo came charging through the entrance. I grabbed it by one long ear and yanked it hard toward me, pulling it down to the ground. Its attention wasn¡¯t on me, and its long buck teeth snapped menacingly at Craig. ¡°But just because I need your help doesn¡¯t mean you don¡¯t need my help too.¡± 074 Just A Big Ol Bunny "Shit, shit, shit-shit-shit!" I thought while trying to keep my face impassive and my demeanor calm. Then again, my audience had finally had enough and began to panic rather than be impressed with me. Screams and the sound of chairs scraping against the tile floor had accompanied the entrance of the furless rabbit-monster that now glared up at me with too much intelligence in its pitch-black eye. Some patrons were running out the back door, others were just backing away. Luke had reproduced his pistol and was pointing it at the downed monster. All of which was fair; things had not exactly gone according to Plan. "Jesuh Fuck!" Craig said, belatedly recognizing the cause of the ruckus. He clumsily stumbled from his stool to the floor and began to backpedal. The monster was not supposed to break through the entrance, just smash into it and create a disturbance that I could go out and address with the help of some hidden allies. The Gremlins had been nurturing the rabbit-monster. Having the Gremlins around to help me when the creature showed up meant I didn''t end up covered in gore, looking even scarier. I wasn''t sure if they saw it as a pet or a peer, but they seemed to recognize some sameness in it or something. More than once, I''d seen their son riding on its back. What I hadn''t noticed was how large the creature was getting. I flashed a doggy grin at the bar''s remaining patrons, most of whom looked ready to flee at a moment''s notice. "keep it still; I''ll make it quick," Luke said. I opened my mouth, looking for the right decision. I wasn''t sure if the Gremlins would understand why we killed their friend. They killed monsters all the time and seemed to realize that death wasn''t permanent. What I didn''t know is if this creature''s intelligence and increased size would remain if we killed it. It was squirming beneath my grip, though, and I knew I wouldn''t be able to keep it down for long. I resigned myself to the creature''s death, telling myself that it would give Craig another try at facing his trauma and becoming a Rememberer, which would give him the chance to save the child he''d watched die. From behind me, I heard Craig scrabbling along the floor. "Wait!" he shouted, reversing his backpedal and stumbling to interpose himself between the rabbit and me. Distracted, I lost my grip on the rabbit''s ear, and it pulled free. "Shit," Luke said, trying to get a clear shot before the rabbit monster could take a chunk out of his Patron. Craig pushed Luke''s arm up and away as the giant naked rabbit rolled back onto all fours. I tried to keep myself between Craig and his monster in case it snapped at him again. Their eyes locked, and the bunny stilled apart from a twitching nose. I stood between the unmoving pair, knees bent, and arms extended out like a wrestler waiting for a chance to grapple. Then the rabbit shivered¡ªsending shards of wood and glass raining to the ground¡ª turned, and half-hopped, half-walked out the shattered entrance. Craig fell on his butt with a sigh of relief. I followed the beast as far as the patio. "What the shit?" I asked no one in particular. This wasn''t something I''d seen before, at least not apart from the Gremlins. "Sorry, Oberon," I heard a voice rumble from the shadows. I had a terrible time telling the Gremlins apart when I could see them. In the dark, with just a basso thrum of a voice to go off of, I had no idea if it was Husband or Wife. Either way, the Gremlins had arrived to take control of the rabbit, so I could be pretty sure it wasn''t coming back. I waved a hand in acknowledgment as I tried to understand what had happened. Monsters like that were created from traumatic memories that were purged across time loops. For people like Craig, it should almost seem to have a fear aura. In fact, when the bunny monster was smaller, I''d killed it and tried to give Craig his memories back, but it had been too much for him. Stepping between Luke and a literal manifestation of his fear wasn''t bravery; it was bizarre. And also oddly inspiring. Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. Over and over, I''d seen too many people respond to fear by lashing out, often at me. I wasn''t exactly innocent of that myself. Craig''s fear had to still be there, but for some reason, he''d stepped in to protect it anyway. Almost as confusing was the fact that the bunny creature had also chosen not to continue the violence. With the Gremlins, I''d seen that not all monsters were mindless killing machines. But I''d fought the rabbit before and never seen anything to suggest it was smart enough to choose anything other than senseless violence. I heard glass and debris crunching on the floor behind me as Luke approached. "Dammit, people are going to die because we failed to kill that thing," Luke said resignedly. I shook my head and reveled at how easy the basic gesture came. I''d spent most of a week unable to communicate consistently, and the shine hadn''t worn off in the weeks since I''d regained my ability to communicate. In my defense, the first week of an apocalypse is a rough time to be voiceless. "I have friends out there," I said to Luke. "They took the creature in hand and will make sure it doesn''t hurt anyone." "Anyone else," Luke corrected. "There was blood on its whiskers." I winced. I hadn''t noticed that, but it didn''t surprise me. The trauma monsters usually had a special hatred for their progenitors, but I knew from experience that they wouldn''t hesitate to attack the nearest thing that moved. Not everyone had run from the bar. Apart from Luke and Craig, Alejandra, Satoshi, and a handful of others had stayed behind as well. It wasn''t as large of a crowd as I''d have liked, but I had to work with what I had. I crouched in front of Craig, who had tears streaming down his face. I wasn''t sure if I should try to look him in the eye or not. While I described myself as a werewolf, unlike a wolf, I still had eyebrows. Turns out that''s pretty important for communication. "Can I ask you why?" I said gently, deciding to hold his gaze if he looked up. "It was just a big ol'' bunny and... I dunno know, it sounds crazy but, it felt familiar, like someone I forgot I knew." Craig said, sounding dazed if slightly more sober than before. He glanced up at me as he spoke but only looked me in the eye briefly. Still, he didn''t seem bothered by my closeness. "As someone who has been on the receiving end of a lot of fear and vitriol, that was beautiful," I said softly, the light tones of Nia''s voice conveying as much warmth as I could ask for. "That said. It was also incredibly risky. Most of the monsters like that are raw nerves of pain and wrath that lash out at everyone and everything around them. Just be careful, and, thanks." Luke reached down, offering Craig a hand, and we both stood up. "I knew you''d bring danger with you," Satoshi grumbled softly from where he still sat at a booth, his eyes down and hands clenched into fists on the table. Soft or not, his voice carried across the largely silent bar. "I do," I said. After all, Alejandra had already said it: I''d come here for a reason, and it wasn''t to make friends. "Because I need help. ''That,''" I said, gesturing through the broken entrance, "isn''t the biggest danger. The worst it can do is kill and create more monsters like itself." "That sounds pretty bad." "But ultimately, it isn''t anything new. Most of history has been rife with that kind of danger. And I think you all know that today is repeating. The pain and death are hard, but ultimately not the biggest threat or the priority." "The Kaiju," Murmured a patron whose name I didn''t know. "I''d hoped that was a dream¡ªa nightmare. How can we stop that?" "I remember it too," Luke said. "Sort of anyway. I''ve got to say, I''m not a huge fan of the memory games this time loop plays. I don''t like the idea that my mind isn''t my own, that someone can just reach in and erase half or more of my memories." "Which is why I really need your help," I said sadly. "The Kaiju isn''t the priority either. It kills a lot of people, but then the day resets. Even if we stopped it, the day will still loop, so we''d have to find a way to stop it for good, and that''s easier said than done. Plus, it''s a fucking Kaiju, and we don''t have an army." "What then?" a scrawny kid in glasses and a hoodie asked. "Stop the time loops? Bring down the vortex?" "If you know how to do any of that, I''m all ears," I said. "I have a way out of town, I just need help spreading the word." 075 Savior Of The Escape It wasn''t exactly the same group as had remained in previous loops; some faces were new, and some were missing, but Luke, Craig, Satoshi, and Alejandra had all been through this with me before. As I told the group I had a way out, I got a mix of reactions. Most of the familiar faces went through similar looks of surprise followed by a slow nodding as their partial memories dredged up forgotten details. Satoshi, as usual, had a very different reaction. "You have a way out?! Where? Please! My family is all on the outside; I need to get to them!" I''d been over this with him. As clear as some of the memories people had, Satoshi seemed to remember almost nothing¡ªthough I had seen bouts of semi-accurate intuition from him. He was one of the few people who hadn''t even stood up when the gigantic bunny crashed into the bar. The hope that he might have a way back to his family was finally enough to bring him to his feet, even if he still kept a distance between us. "Satoshi, I''m sorry. I do have a way out. And you''re welcome to use it," I told him. "But, it''s complicated; the passageway out won''t open for almost a year." Luke had grabbed a broom and begun sweeping up the glass and wood splinters the monster attack had strewn across the bar. A couple of the patrons were helping him, filling the air with an almost meditative scrapping of brush and debris against the tile floor. "So, we''re fucked," an older black man named Franklin said, slumping disappointedly in his seat. "The Vortex in California finished destroying everything in a month." I considered how to respond; there wasn''t exactly a manual telling me how things worked. The best source I had was a floating chrome eyeball that was either a compulsive liar or delusional. It''d introduced itself to me as ''the one and many God'' but immediately abandoned the position when challenged. I''d named it Sori and had mixed interactions with it. Sometimes, it seemed clueless and almost cute, like a kitten that occasionally tries to murder you when you''re not paying attention, but not from malice, just instinct. Luke had set the broom aside and begun dragging a long-ish table over to block the main entrance. Already on my feet, I helped him bring it the last few feet and leveraged it into place. It likely wouldn''t stop any monsters, but it might slow them down. "The short answer is, I don''t know. Luke says some of you have been trying to piece together memories from days you don''t really remember living." "Right. From what we can gather, we''ve already been trapped for more than a month; we just can''t remember," Luke offered up. Once again behind the bar, he wiped a towel across his bald head, his black skin glistening with small droplets of sweat from the effort of blocking the entrance and cleaning up glass. "Jesus, it''s been most of 100 days, hasn''t it?" Alejandra said in stunned disbelief before taking a long pull from a beer bottle that had been abandoned by one of the patrons who''d run with the bunny monster had come crashing in. Unlike Alice, Alejandra hadn''t been keeping count. She had, however, remembered the information I''d told her previously. "And it''s not just your memories," I went on. "At the end of every day, with few exceptions, the clock rewinds to the moment the vortex touched down." I picked up a nearby cardboard coaster and tore it in half. "Twelve hours from now, this damage will be undone, and most of your memories about the day will vanish; you''ll once again be reliving the moment when you realize you''re trapped," I told my fascinated listeners. They didn''t all trust me, but being something fantastical in a fantastical situation seemed to make most willing to at least listen to my improbable explanation. "So, then, time isn''t passing outside? We''re just living the same day over and over?" A patron I didn''t know asked, setting his own drink down with a hard thud of frustration. They had a bushy grey mustache and blocky red glasses. They had a flop of gray hair that was just beginning to thin enough to reveal a bald spot and a round body with solid-looking arms and legs. This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it "What''s your name?" I asked. I''d introduced myself but hadn''t gone around asking for names. "I know some of the others, but I don''t recognize you." "My name''s Stan. I don''t think I''ve been to this bar before. I was trying to decide what I should do, and somehow, I knew that I''d get answers here." Stan said. "I just wish they were useful." "Please," Satoshi said, his hands unconsciously shredding the paper napkin in a display of nervousness I''d seen from him before. "What do you mean it won''t open for a year? Will that be a year on the outside too?" "I honestly don''t know Satoshi, Stan," I said softly. "The being that made the exit hasn''t always given me straight¡ªor even sane¡ªanswers. I can let you use it. I have that being''s word you''ll be safe and released at the end of the year. But I don''t know how much time will pass outside. It could be less, none, or even more, for all I know. I can tell you this, though: I''ve already promised to bring you out with me when I go. I''ll make that promise again now," I gestured, and behind me, my shadow expanded and rose off the ground, occluding part of the bar. The Shadow door wasn''t much more than a dark patch in mid-air, with no actual features to pick out. Some of the patrons had joined Luke in cleaning up the bar. Tables had been tipped, and drinks spilled in the mad rush to escape Craig''s Trauma Monster. The smell of yeasty beer, ever a constant in the bar, was all the stronger for puddles being mopped up with borrowed rags. "Anyone who wants to can step through here and be only a few yards away from the exit. A few people have already chosen to do that. But I hope you won''t. I''ve said I need help. This is what I need help with. I don''t know how many people are left in town. My guess is around 100,000 people. I don''t have time to go around convincing 100,000 people to follow me into a strange shadow. Most people won''t let me near them without a lot of work. I need people to spread the word, to recruit more people to spread the word. I need people with knowledge of logistics to help me plan the evacuation of 100,000 people through a single doorway. We have less than a year, and this group represents my biggest success talking to people so far. Satoshi, or anyone else, if you choose, I''ll show you the way out. I just don''t know what you''ll find when you do, and I don''t know how many I''ll be able to save without help." I''d been through this part with some of the group already, and I was pretty sure Satoshi, at least, would stay behind. As for the new faces, I doubted any would trust me enough to walk into a mysterious shadow on my word yet. "What about the boy?" Craig asked, his voice muffled. Luke had helped him to his feet, but after sitting back at the bar, he''d laid his head down in his arms and had been quiet, the events of the day catching up to him. "I can''t save him. I''m sorry, Craig. I can''t get to him in time." There was a squelching sound as Craig''s cheek peeled away from the sticky bar top. "But then he''ll just be killed again and again; it''s not righ!" he protested. "I know, believe me, I know," I said, thinking back on my struggle to save people in the hospital. I''d failed people over and over and only rarely managed to save anybody. Part of the reason I''d left was in the hope I wouldn''t make things worse. I was one of the few people with complete memories of the time loops, and I was still struggling to achieve anything. "My hope¡ªor plan¡ªis to get more people aware of the time loop and working together to spread the word about the escape route. That should make it possible to save people like that boy." "THAT''S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Craig shouted, slamming the table with a fist. "He''s right," Alejandra said, finishing her beer and standing up. "Maybe you can''t save that boy. But there are others who need rescuing. That Kaiju monster is going to be knocking over a bunch of apartments. Why are you here instead of there emptying those buildings out before that monster collapses them?" I had to try not to let the frustration and tightness building in my chest reach my words, but I was only partially successful with the borrowed voice. "It''s dangerous over there." I''d done this before. For most of three weeks, I''d tried. The area was overrun with monsters, no doubt a result of the Kaiju''s presence. The number would likely grow by the day. "There are monsters everywhere downtown. One of them becomes the Kaiju. I''m not saying we can''t help them, but it''s going to take planning and way more than the dozen people we have." "And in the meantime, we, what? Go door to door like Jehovah''s Witnesses: ''Have you heard about our blue lord and savior of the escape hatch?''" The scrawny, bespectacled kid asked, standing up and walking over to join Alejandra. "The name''s Trevor, by the way; I''m pretty sure this is my first time here, too." Stan and Satoshi stood and joined the pair standing around Alejandra''s table. "Does anyone have any memories of that area?" "I do," Luke said, joining them. "Oberon''s right, it''s monster central. We''ll want to bring weapons, preferably something quieter than guns." A butter knife thudded into the dartboard and hung, quivering. "Got any steak knives?" The voice of the lady who''d discovered a talent for darts said from the back door. "I can apparently throw other things nearly as well." 076 Solitary and Opportunistic There were eleven of us in all that set out from Luke''s bar. I''d brought weapons with me. I''d left the guns behind to be used in defense of the hospital but kept the body armor and the baseball bat. In the weeks since, I''d had cause to pick up a few other weapons and a duffle bag to carry them, all things that I''d left outside because I was already scary enough. I had an Ax and Shovel I''d taken from an open garage, as well as a crowbar. Craig took the shovel, and a middle-aged woman named Cynthia had taken the Ax. Nobody had wanted the crowbar, so I handed off my bat and kept it for myself. It was heavy, and there wasn''t much leverage. While I wasn''t superhumanly strong, I was stronger than I looked. Better muscled than an average human, I''d have the easiest time wielding it. I wasn''t on board with the plan of trying to evacuate the downtown area where the Kaiju would appear, partly because I''d tried already. For weeks, I''d spawned in the area, broken into buildings, and knocked on doors. It wasn''t that people didn''t believe me, though only about half of them did. And it wasn''t that they were scared of me, though most of them were. The main problem was there was nowhere to evacuate to. The Kaiju attack didn''t start and end with it knocking down buildings. That was the climactic finale for the creature, but it was far from the only danger. Whether the Kaiju caused the swarm of trauma monsters to spawn¡ªwhich wouldn''t surprise me¡ªor the swarm of trauma monsters somehow enabled the transformation of the Kaiju. There were two other creatures I''d seen grow to gigantic sizes¡ªif about a tenth the size of the Kaiju. Both of the Gremlins had shown me larger sizes, but neither had ever topped twenty feet tall. Like them, the Kaiju seemed happy to kill and eat other monsters. Since joining up with the Gremlins, the bunny monster had also grown significantly in size, and I was sure I''d seen them feeding the creature one of the rounded memory crystals they created. I didn''t know that there was a connection, and in the end, it didn''t really matter. Either way, the entire area was overrun with monsters. There were enough of us that, if we worked together and stayed close, we might be able to avoid being overwhelmed for a time, but only if we didn''t make too much noise. Eleven people were a lot to keep quiet and stealthy, especially when one was a giant glowing werewolf. I''d need to keep an eye out for an oversized trench coat or something to try to cover my glow. In the meantime, the best our group could come up with was to keep a distance between us. "We need to keep our voices quiet. If I need to shoot something, we should immediately fall back to Oberon," Luke said. "The noise will give away our position and maybe even attract the attention of nearby monsters, so at that point, it won''t matter how visible we are. If monsters come after us, we''ll slowly retreat until we''re back to safety or the threats are overcome. We''re going head east for five or six blocks and then head north until we run into the Bradbury Apartments." The group was standing outside the back entrance of the bar in an ally that was momentarily empty. For me, everything was covered in a swirling green fog, a haze that made seeing any distance impossible. For the rest of the patrons, this wasn''t a problem. For anybody not a full Rememberer, the air seemed mostly clear, with the occasional wisp of green fog shimmering into and out of existence. Maybe they''d have listened to me if they saw the world in all its atmospheric threat. Or maybe they needed to try for themselves. Hopefully, they were quicker learners than me; we didn''t have another two weeks to realize that we couldn''t prioritize the people trapped downtown. Luke had fallen into defacto leader for the bar patrons, and he wasn''t a terrible choice. He had as many memories as most of the rest and seemed to be pretty cool-headed in a crisis. He''d apparently worked as an EMT in some pretty dicey situations and had gotten used to acting first and processing later. Thankfully, he was willing to listen to most of what I had to say, even if he wasn''t ready to accept that our priority needed to be getting more people to join our group. If we had a hundred people¡ªor a thousand people¡ªthen we might be able to successfully evacuate a significant portion of Kaiju Central. With Ten people, apart from myself, I wasn''t confident. A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation. "Most of the monsters we''ll encounter won''t be as big as that bunny or even me," I added at a glance from Luke. "But they won''t be small either. Most will be at least the size of a German Shepherd. Some will be a little smaller, and some will be a little larger. For the most part, they are solitary and opportunistic. Stick together, and hopefully, we can make it to the Bradbury apartments without running into any trouble." "What about you?" Alejandra said, sounding more curious than concerned. Like Luke and I, she kept her voice hushed. None of us wanted to attract attention before we even started out. "You said you''ll be hanging back. Won''t that put you in danger?" It would, in fact, put me in danger. I wouldn''t say I''d grown used to dying, though it certainly wasn''t the same terrifying possibility it had once been. By the time I''d left the hospital, I was already growing used to dying, if not necessarily the pain that often accompanied it. In the more than three weeks of loops since then, I''d died nearly every day. It was beginning to take on the feel of a chore. I''d never look forward to it, any more than a carpenter looked forward to smashing his thumb with a hammer, but sometimes it happened, and my leg definitely wasn''t shaking in nervousness. "I''m big and easily noticeable. Some monsters will be distracted from your group and target me, but with luck, most will be intimidated by my size and leave me alone as well. If they do come after me, I''ve had practice defending myself." It was strange hearing the light tones of a kid saying those words, and together with my shaking leg, undercut my bravado a bit. "I''ll stick as close to you as I can for as long as I can. If I get overwhelmed by a group of monsters, don''t come back for me. Follow Luke and run in the opposite direction, and I''ll try to lead any packs away until I can make my own escape," I hoped. The group set out on foot, not because there were no cars, but because we all worried that the sound of the engine would attract monsters that would trail behind us and fall on us in mass when we got to our destination. Of course, without a car, retreat would be slow and fraught with danger. I was pretty sure it was how we were going to die. It wouldn''t be my favorite way to teach a lesson, but they wouldn''t listen, and I needed them to understand how truly outmatched we were. We needed to get stronger; it was one of the reasons I''d hoped to get Craig to become a Rememberer. If I could, I''d do the same to everyone in my group. Chances were Craig wasn''t the only one who had a trauma monster out there, and the more people I could get to remember the loops, the easier evacuating Forest Lake would become. The walk was quiet, especially for me, as the ethereal fog dampened sound as much as sight. I trailed a block or so behind the group, just keeping them in sight while keeping an eye out for any monsters that might try sneaking up on them. The fog made that a more challenging prospect for me as well; the ubiquitous pale green coloring of most monsters would blend right into the haze. Even the piebald appearance of the Gremlins would be so much camouflage to my eyes. Still, when the first attack came, it didn''t come from behind. The group of ten walked shoulder to shoulder down the middle of the street, but after going a few blocks east, a traffic jam of abandoned cars forced the group to bunch up, except for a youngish redhead named Jamie and the older black man named Franklin. They''d gone to the right around a car rather than trying to squeeze in on the left side with the rest of the group. A monster pigeon, the size of a mastiff, was on Jamie before she had a chance to scream; its newly-toothed beak tore out her throat in a moment. Franklin responded quickly with his makeshift weapon. He''d had a rope he used to perform lasso tricks in his truck, a skill he''d picked up working on a ranch when he was young. He''d attached a heavy bag of rocks to the opposite end and used it almost like a flail. With a spin, he brought the bag of rocks up and around, colliding with the underside of the creature''s jaw, sending its head snapping back. The damage was already done, and even from a distance, I could see the bloody beak. The pigeon monster was nearly featherless, and its body looked almost gaunt compared to my expectations, at least. It wasn''t a dinosaur, but if it stood next to a raptor, you''d know they were related. I rushed forward as fast as I could, but I wouldn''t be able to get there in time to save the old man, let alone the girl. Luckily, Luke was close and maintained his head. Rather than pull out his gun and start panic firing, he leaped over the hood of the car they''d circled and brought his bat down in a one-handed swing as an immediate followup to Franklin''s uppercut strike. The not-dino failed to tank the blow and it''s head and chest smacked against the road. The brutal hit bought the group some breathing room as they snapped back from their surprised and hurried to try to surround the monster. Unfortunately, the pigeon monster was only down for a bare heartbeat before rebounded back to its feet with a twitch its thick, stubby tail. It hopped out of the way of the groups follow up jabs and swings, breaking out of their closing circle in the process. Before the group could circle their target, two more raptor-like monsters leaped down from window ledges where they''d gone unnoticed and circled the bar patrons instead. 077 Dont Do Anything Stupid I was most of a city block away from the nine remaining bar patrons when the two additional raptor-like pigeons leaped down to join the fight. The group had been passing through a handful of abandoned cars when the first pigeon monster attacked. As it hopped backward and out of range of most of their strikes, it left the group surrounded by cars or monsters in every direction. One of their number, Jamie, was already down, and two others were dragging her body to the center of their group¡ªthough I doubted she''d survived the brutal first attack. That pigeon had gone for the throat. Taking care of her was a very socially responsible act, especially if they weren''t sure she was dead. Still, it came at the cost of reducing their number of defenders and adding an obstacle they could easily stumble over. I wasn''t sure I''d have done any different, but I also wasn''t sure it was the right call. It was too late for Jamie, and she''d be back next loop. Survival and escape from Forest Lake might require a more heartless response to death. Of course, if it was that easy, I wouldn''t be running as fast as I could to join the fray. With Alejandra and Trevor out of line, the pigeons came at the group from three sides. Cars flanked the party on either side, and two giant birds stalked toward the group from both ahead and behind. The third featherless pigeon hopped on top of one of the cars and drew everyone''s attention while the pigeons before and behind darted in. Dalia had a dozen knives tucked into her belt. They weren''t steak knives, and they weren''t uniform in size, but she also didn''t seem to have much trouble throwing them and embedding the blade in practice. Of course, she''d only done that on drywall and dart boards. With three swift, practiced motions, she pulled some of her heavier knives and flung them the half-dozen feet at the neck of the pigeon on the car. The blades struck point first and even managed to penetrate an inch or two. With some luck or improved aim, she might even be able to hit an artery. Unfortunately, her attack didn''t hit anything vital on her target. It did, however, distract it, causing it to reel back. "Satoshi, Trevor, keep them back!" I heard Luke roar as he launched himself toward the nearest monster, his bat pulled back for a powerful swing aimed at its toothed beak. Satoshi and Trevor each carried shafts of wood, one from a broom, the other from a mop, and both had been broken at an angle to give them a sharp point. To their credit, neither one hesitated to step forward and jab out at their attackers. Unfortunately, the pigeons were quick, and their heads dodged backward out of the way. Luke had more success, targeting the monster that he and Franklin had already struck. The creature dodged his first swing, but Luke let the bat''s momentum carry it back around to catch the monster on the underside of its beak, knocking the creature''s head up and at an angle. Franklin had dropped his rope and rock-flail and picked up the icebreaker that Jamie had been carrying. He stabbed it out at Luke''s target in a swing that brought the flat blade across the creature''s exposed throat. Arterial spray erupted from the wound, and the already staggering bird stumbled backward several steps before collapsing. A wolfish smile spread across my face at the victory. I was mere steps away from one of the other birds, and they were successfully holding off the third. I was still mentally congratulating my group of misfits on their victory when gunfire rang out and sent ice coursing through my veins. If there were more monsters around, and I had no reason to think there weren''t, they''d be coming this way. This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it One shot was quickly followed by another, and the blacktop a few paces ahead of me burst where a bullet struck. I didn''t know who was shooting or what they were aiming at, but I''d done this enough times to know I was likely considered a target. Shots rang out faster and faster until they came out at automatic speeds. I dove to the left behind a parked car and hoped I''d broken the line of sight. The sound of gunfire distracted the monsters, and they started to pull back from the bar patrons until bullets tore through them. Infuriatingly¡ªand utterly predictably¡ªthe gunfire wasn''t discerning, and my chosen team had to dive for cover as well. They didn''t all move fast enough, and I saw Stan, Franklin, and Cynthia collapse where they stood. "Clear!" a voice shouted as the gunfire came to an end. "Negative," Another voice called. "There''s a bogey behind that car." "Hold your fire!" Luke called. "That one''s a friendly!" "Confirm?" a baffled-sounding voice returned. "Please don''t shoot me," I said, raising my arms up from behind the car. Hopefully, the sound of a child''s voice coming from my mouth would muddy the waters enough that they''d give me the benefit of the doubt. My heart beat against my chest from exertion, fear, and, most of all, rage. We''d had it. They''d given no consideration to the people they were firing at. A group of a half-dozen men came out from the alley on either side of the guns drawn and pointed at our huddled group. "Mother fuckers," I heard Luke swear quietly before raising his voice. "We''ve got people down. We''re coming out to check on them." "Fine, just don''t do anything stupid." "You''re the ones who were fucking stupid!" Alejandra yelled. "Jesus, you killed them." She was right. I couldn''t see the human bodies, but judging by the gaping hole in the pigeon monster I could see, it was doubtful a person would be able to survive anything more than a graze, and even that would do significant damage. "There''s a curfew. You should be sheltering until things can be gotten under control." "Bullshit. Bullshit!" Alejandra spat her own anger getting the best of her. "Alejandra, not now." Luke ordered before raising his voice to call back to the shooters. "Alright, we''re coming out. Don''t shoot. The blue wolfman is a friendly." "The monster stays put, no warnings," a voice called back. "Fine. Oberon, hang out there for a minute." Luke said, bear crawling from his hiding spot behind a car to check on our downed people. "Shit." He spat as he checked on each one. "Dead. They''re all dead. God damn it." "You mother fuckers killed our people. You fucking killed them. Who the hell do you think you are? Fuck!" Alejandra said again, her voice quavering with emotion. "Everybody just stay put. We''ve been deputized to sweep this area of monsters and-" "Okay, Sorry to interrupt," I said, the patience thin in my voice. "But, those shots won''t stay ignored. There are almost certainly more monsters coming this way." "We''re more than well-armed enough to handle a few more monsters." "Oh shit, Trevor said, his voice empty of emotion. "That''s more than a few." I peered around the car that most of the group was huddled behind to see what Trevor was talking about. I wouldn''t call it a horde, but there were easily a dozen monstrous creatures rushing out way. They ranged in size from raccoon to pony and resembled a variety of creatures from owls to rodents to snakes and insects, each of them a white-green in color with splotches of black. They hopped, slithered, flapped, crawled, and climbed toward us as one swiftly moving group, utterly unconcerned about one another. "Holy shit. Fall back!" I heard a voice call. "Suppressing fire!" another said before the assault rifle began another round of automatic fire. The shots zipped down the street, hitting a monster here and there but almost making it impossible for me and my group to come out from behind cover. It was also a losing idea since the sound was likely to draw in more monsters to replace the ones they killed. I had to wonder how much ammo they had. "Come on!" I shouted when the shooter paused, presumably to reload. "To the Alley!" The supposedly deputized group hadn''t retreated back to the alleys when the monsters appeared, instead retreating back up the street from the direction our group had come, so hopefully, we could leave their suicidal and indiscriminate attack. 078 Ill Hold Them Off My motley crew chased after me into the dark alley, and I could only hope there weren''t more monsters coming from this direction. The alley was dark, and a series of dumpsters along one wall made it a narrow corridor with plenty of places for monsters to hide and pop out unexpectedly. Then again, it was the best of the bad options. Potentially, we could go up a fire escape, but at least some of the monsters would be able to follow us. We could easily end up trapped on a roof, surrounded and trapped, so I kept my eyes open and ran down the alley, keeping an eye on the remaining bar patrons as I did. We''d started out as a group of eleven, including myself, and now we were down to Seven. Checking back over my shoulder, my group was slow. Most of them had been drinking, and Craig had been outright drunk, even if we''d done our best to sober him up with coffee and water. Craig was also the oldest left alive and the most out of shape, so I wasn''t surprised to see him running at the back of the pack. I was a bit surprised that Dalia, the woman with the unexpected knife and darts skills, had stayed back, along with Satoshi, to offer encouragement and half drag Craig along. The man''s face was red, and his breath huffed like an old train engine building up steam. Even with a supporting arm from Satoshi, the pace was too much for the older man, and he stumbled, tripping over some alleyway trash and crashing to the pavement with a huff of breath. "Shit," I swore as I turned back. Luke, Alejandra, and Trevor were far enough ahead that they hadn''t noticed Craig''s fall, but as I reversed course, they each looked over their shoulders, risking falling themselves. "Keep going!" I yelled in my child-like voice. Dalia''s eyes had widened with surprise when Craig fell, but neither she nor Satoshi hesitated to slow down to help. The monsters were close, and Dalia threw a blade with impressive accuracy and hit a possum-like monster the size of the family dog right in one of its eyes. The creature shrieked and writhed into the fetal position, its paws scrabbling at its face, trying to dislodge the blade and making itself into a speed bump for some of the other monsters. But not all of them. Satoshi had gotten Craig back to his feet but didn''t see the incoming danger. "Above!" I shouted, pointing at the utterly silent swooping owl that looked like it should have been too large to fly, its wings stretching from one side of the valley to the other. Dalia and Satoshi looked too high, but Craig saw the bird flying for Dalia. "No!" He yelled, trying to knock the woman out of the way. He was too slow. The owl''s talons took Dalia''s head. Satoshi stumbled back in surprise as the owl tore free its prize and flew up out of the alley. With an enraged scream, Craig threw his shovel at the owl, clipping its wing. The bird monster overcompensated, caught off guard by the attack, and ended up careening into the alley wall and crashing to the ground next to Trevor and Alejandra, who started stabbing at the creature. Alejandra had attached her taser to the end of a broom handle as a makeshift weapon and was screaming as she pressed the self-defense tool against the downed bird''s neck. Trevor stabbed the creature with his own sharpened broom handle in a panic, his screams joining Alejandra''s. I couldn''t blame either, especially having just shouted a warning moments ago, but I had to hope that the noise wouldn''t bring even more monsters down on us. The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. "Go!" I shouted to them, pointing up the alley. "Come on!" Luke echoed, waving his patrons to follow him as I ran back to help support Craig. Satoshi had recovered from his surprise and was helping Craig limp down the alley. He must have hurt himself when he stumbled. "I''ve got him, go," I said, taking Craig up in my arms. He wasn''t exactly light, but I was stronger than I looked, and I looked like a hulking, seven-foot-tall werewolf. I could hear the sound of monsters close behind me as I carried the injured man in a hurried jog up the alley. "We''re too slow!" Luke called, risking a look back at us. Satoshi and I had gained some ground on the group by virtue of having the greatest motivation driving us on. "Oberon, any chance your friends are around? We could use the help." I shook my head slightly, "Sorry, no. They don''t like crowds; they went home." "Leave me here," Craig said miserably. "Luke, give me your gun. I''ll hold ''em off." We kept running, ignoring Craig''s request as we exited the alley and, by silent agreement, continued straight across the road. "I don''t think you''ll slow them down much. and then we won''t have the gun to help." Luke said as we entered the next alley. "He''s right, though. We need to change things up. Give me your gun. I''ll put down Craig when we reach the end of the alley; you five go right, I''ll keep going straight, and I''ll draw as many with me as I can." I said. "That''s dumb. The group will move faster with you carrying Craig. I''ll be the distraction. It''s my gun." Luke replied, shouting breathlessly back over his shoulder. If Luke was out of breath, Trevor was outright panting. "What about that shadow door of yours, Oberon? You said it leads out; why don''t we just escape?" The shadow door itself wasn''t the escape door. Though if it was, I''d be even more hesitant to use it than I already was. I''d suspected this was how their evacuation attempt would end from the beginning. I''d resigned myself to this kind of end. It was good for them to see it too, because, hopefully, it would mean they''d be more willing to listen to me in future loops. In actuality, the shadow door just led to a dark storage alcove, like an extradimensional space. I could connect it to the Ether and my domain on the other side if I needed to. That would give them access to the escape door, but I wasn''t going to. "The monsters could follow us in, and it takes a second to open. They''d be right behind us." I wasn''t willing to give them access to the escape door; I needed them, but that didn''t mean I wanted them all to be ripped apart by monsters. I knew what that felt like, and I also knew that it was exactly the kind of trauma that could create more monsters. Both decency and practicality said it made the most sense for me to hold off the monsters long enough that everyone could crowd into the shadow alcove. At which point I''d close the shadow door and try to escape. I''d probably fail. It was still the best option. I''d keep my memories, and anyone in my Shadow would too, at least for one loop. It could give me a huge leg up on tomorrow''s loop. I didn''t want to die. "I can''t risk showing you the exit," I half lied. I didn''t know what would happen if a monster made it to the escape door, but it wasn''t my main concern. "I can open a pocket space, though. You''ll be safe, but it''ll be dark. I''ll have to close it behind you, but you''ll be safe even if I die. You''ll have to be quick, though; we won''t have much time." "Sounds like we still need that distraction," Luke said, having pulled out his pistol. "I can do it¡ª" I started but was cut off by Luke. "Just get them safe; I''ll draw as many away as I can. We''ll meet back up at the bar if we both survive." Luke said. "I''m going straight, cut right when you reach the road, and I''ll start shooting when I''ve got clear sights." Then he picked up speed, pulling away from the group before I could offer more protests. He might be okay if he could keep up that pace¡ª and if the owl didn''t sneak up on him. Luke went straight and crossed the road without so much as looking both ways, only turning to look back as he reached the next alleyway. Alejandra and Trevor were in the lead and cut right as they exited the alley. Satoshi was right behind them, and ¡ªCraig in my arms¡ª I followed them around the corner. As soon as I exited the alley, I heard the sound of gunshots ringing out from across the street, followed by several angry roars of pain coming from behind us. We ran to the end of the block and ducked behind a delivery van to hide while I raised my Shadow up into a doorway. Trevor and Satoshi stood with makeshift spears, ready to lash out at anything chasing us around the corner. Alejandra helped Craig, who I''d set down and leaned against the van. "Go! Go!" I said the moment I felt my Shadow connect the dark space and practically shoved Craig and Alejandra in. "Satoshi, give me your spear. Both of you go!" I said, hurriedly stepping between him and Trevor and taking his weapon. In the distance, I could hear more gunfire and enraged shrieks. It was selfish, but I could only hope that Luke was drawing enough attention that I''d be able to make my escape. I really didn''t want to be torn apart by monsters. Luke, at least, wouldn''t remember it. 079 It Can Probably Taste Me With most of the surviving bar patrons stored away in my Shadow, I closed the entrance and prepared to fend off any monsters that Luke didn''t manage to draw away. His gunfire had stopped, and I could only hope that was to avoid attracting extra monsters and not because he''d been caught and taken out. It was a brave and stupid thing he was doing. The monsters weren''t exactly team players, but they could work together with relentless focus to catch their prey. He''d be pursued, and even if one flagged, others could quickly be drawn into the chase. Still, I had to hope he''d been successful in drawing away most of the monsters. I could hopefully fight off one or two; any more than that, and I''d be in the same position of trying to escape a hunting party that could easily grow to impossible sizes. Luke''s best bet would be to get inside someplace with long halls to bottleneck his pursuers and hopefully give him a chance to escape. With Satoshi''s spear in hand, I crouched behind the delivery van and peered around the corner to look for any monsters that Luke hadn''t managed to distract. Spotting an incoming monster, I pulled my head back. Not a dozen feet away, a fat snake slithered toward me. The snake was maybe fifteen feet long, but it was as wide as a shark or crocodile, not noodle-ly like a snake. It didn''t look like it should be able to slither at all. Still, its stout body curled and uncurled in crescent shapes that steadily propelled it across the cement sidewalks. I was pretty sure it didn''t see me peeking out, but it was still coming this way. If I was going to try to slip away without being seen, I''d need to do so immediately. I didn''t want to. I might not look at the monsters as demons that needed to be destroyed and hated utterly, mostly because I''d seen a spectrum of beings that people called demons, and some of them were better company than a lot of people I''d met. I also knew what it felt like to be treated as a monster while being fully a person. I''d hate to be guilty of that same mindset. At the same time, this creature was literally chasing me and my allies to kill and eat¡ªWell, sort of anyway. From what I could tell, the only thing the creatures were actually after were the crystals that formed in brains. I hadn''t actually seen any human memory crystals, but I''d seen the results of them being harvested. Alice had been in the middle of performing brain surgery when the vortex landed and had told me about seeing such a crystal suddenly appear in her patient''s brain. I didn''t know what draw the crystals had for the monsters, but I was probably instinctual rather than intentional. I''d learned some uses for memory crystals, and claiming another one would be valuable. Even before learning about those uses, I''d experienced the primal draw they could inspire just through proximity; likely, that was what the monsters pursued: a naturally alluring aura. I could hear the sound of the monster''s scales grinding dirt and grit across the cement and pulled my spear back, ready to thrust forward the moment I spotted an eye. A pale greenish-white scaled snout slid past the edge of the van, a forked tongue the size of a human forearm flicking out, tasting the air. Right, I realized at the last moment. It can probably taste me. The snake paused, angled its head in my direction, and sent its tongue out to taste the air right in front of me. Making my decision, I jumped out, gauging where I''d find an eye, and stabbed out as soon as it came into view. Snakes are fast but not necessarily equipped for ambushes, or maybe that was just a problem for this obese boy. The pale glow-in-the-dark-looking reptile started to pull its head back for a dodge or a strike. Still, my blow was quicker, and the point of my makeshift spear slipped cleanly into its eye before coming to an abrupt halt several inches in. This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. The snake hissed and writhed, but I kept a hold of my spear, and the motion only did more damage. I pulled the spear back out, and the serpent snapped at my weapon. I danced back out of the way, my heart pounding in my chest. I''d never faced this particular monster, but I''d had enough close calls that I knew not to let up, that it was just as dangerous with one eye as two, perhaps more so. As I hopped away from its snapping mouth, I jumped to the side, spear cocked briefly, and lunged forward, taking it in the other eye. I felt the spear hit bone, and then the weight I put behind the strike carried the point deeper, and the monster''s thrashing came to an end. My breaths came heavy as I leaned on the spear, waiting to see if it was playing dead or not. Most of the monsters like this I''d seen were as dumb or dumber than the natural creatures they resembled, but that wasn''t universally true, and I wasn''t about to get tricked by a snake playing dead. After several long seconds in which nothing moved, I sighed in relief, convinced the danger was passed. Which was precisely the moment the giant jumping spider must have been waiting for. I didn''t see where it came from; one moment, my vision was clear and my surroundings safe. The next moment, a semi-fuzzy bowling ball hit me in the head. The hit happened so fast that, for a moment, I thought my feet had been kicked out from under me. Instead, my body was knocked almost horizontal by the hit, the pressure on my head and neck significant and quickly developing into pain intense pain. I smashed into the blacktop and rolled from the momentum imparted by the attacking monster. I panicked, not knowing what had struck me or what was clinging to my head. Frantically, I groped at the fur and carapace wrapping around my head and pulled. I felt the tearing of flesh on one side of my snout as fangs bit deeply and resisted my pull. The pain took a back seat to the fear, however, and I chucked the creature away from me and down the street. Finally, I managed to get a look at my attacker. The spider was roughly the size of a basketball, and it had tennisball sized eyes. It rolled once or twice from my throw, but in a display of impressive athleticism, it used a few of its feet to spring off the ground and orient itself so it landed facing me. "FUCK!" I swore with Nia''s voice. My cheek was torn badly, and I could feel the cold air on my canines even with a closed mouth. My chest and stomach cramped in rebellion against the pain but achieved precisely nothing. This was too familiar. One of the first monsters I''d seen had resembled a grasshopper and had a similar fondness for leaping at me when I wasn''t paying attention. Even with help, it had taken me practice learning the timing I''d needed to defeat the thing. I could only hope at least some of that practice would apply here. The jumping spider stared at me and positioned and repositioned its body as though looking for a good angle of attack. I was standing with the delivery van at my back, and the moment of remembering inspired an idea in me. Slender Hopper had actually been the second monster I''d seen. The first was a similarly sized tick-like monster I''d named Tickles. It had found itself trapped in a car. Reaching back without taking my eyes off the creature, I tested the handle of the abandoned delivery van. It wasn''t locked, and I pulled it open without looking. Hopefully, there wasn''t another monster in there, or a hiding innocent for that matter. Based on how the spider had attacked before, it was waiting for an opening it could take advantage of. Intentionally, I took my eyes off the creature and shot a look into the van to be sure it was clear. At the same time, I took a step sideways while simultaneously spinning, bringing a furred arm out, and prayed to the cosmos that I''d timed things right. I saw a flash of pale green fly past my face, but I utterly failed to land a hit on it as it did. Still, I heard a crashing sound as the giant, mangey, jumping spider hit the back of the van and sent the whole thing rocking. Grabbing the door, I slammed it closed before the spider could escape. Then I crouched and looked around for any sign of other monsters. It didn''t help that their pale green skin and carapaces blended in so well with the haze that blanketed Forest Lake, if only to my eyes. Seeing no incoming danger, and not able contain myself any longer, I pressed the hanging flap of skin on my muzzle in place and screamed into my furry hands. It didn''t help. This wasn''t a wound I could press or even bandage closed, and it was far too painful to ignore. It would need to be tended to, and I only knew of one doctor who wouldn''t run away from me at first glance. Luke would need to take care of himself; I needed to go back to the hospital. 080 Who The Hell Are You? The hanging flap of my cheek was far from life-threatening, but I''d rarely felt anything as painful, and I''d died more times than I even knew. I''d had a dry socket once, back before the world ended, and this was distressingly similar, if bloodier. It was like an ice cream headache that radiated outward from my jaw at ever-changing levels of intensity. I had morphine that I''d swiped from a nurse''s bag, but I''d stashed it away in my Shadow. My leg shook against the pain as I pressed my palm against the hanging flesh. It was almost embarrassing to be so debilitated by the wound; I''d had bullet wounds that hurt less. I started looking around for a safe place to open my Shadow door. The van I''d trapped the jumping spider in shook with its thudding escape attempts. The noise would eventually attract attention, and I didn''t want to be around for whatever showed up. Human or monster, I wasn''t likely to be treated kindly by either. My stomach was in knots from the pain in my cheek as I hurried down the block, trying the doors of various businesses. With a makeshift spear and crowbar in one hand and a wounded cheek in the other, I raced against a growing pain-induced panic. Every door I tried was locked fast, but across the street, the garage doors of an oil change place were wide open. I''d hoped to find a safe place to open my Shadow Alcove, someplace abandoned by people as they evacuated town. Hopefully, that was the case for this place. The garage bay had three stalls for cars, all of which were empty, with exposed floor pits. To one side of the garage was a steel door labeled ''Office.'' That door, unfortunately, was locked, as was the bathroom door. My blue-furred hand was shaking, and I felt about ready to throw up as I hurried down the steps to the pit. I''d hoped to find an empty room with a door I could lock or block, but the urgent need for relief was growing by the second, and I was having trouble thinking clearly. I tried breathing through the pain to give myself time to find a better solution, but each breath brought cold air over the exposed nerve. Caution and safety felt less and less important as a need for immediate relief became more insistent. Likely, the Shadow entrance would be nearly impossible to see in the pit. Either way, I couldn''t hold back any longer. Stepping through the Shadow was like taking a breath after almost drowning; it was like relieving yourself after almost pissing your pants. The pain vanished, taking the urgency with it, and a pleasant tingle washed through my brain as I let out a sigh of relief. "Jesus, that hurt," I said with a puff of exhaled breath as I slumped, only my borrowed broom-handle-spear holding me on my feet. "Who the fuck are you?" Alejandra said. I was back in my preferred shape¡ªif not my original shape. I was a broad-shouldered guy with somewhat shaggy, nearly black hair and the brown skin of my Mexican heritage. There was no reason I''d be recognized, even in good lighting. As it was, my Shadow was, after all, a shadow, and the only real light came in from the open doorway to the garage. Trevor, Satoshi, Craig, and Alejandra sat crowded together on the floor of the Alcove, looking tense and ready to fight. "Sorry," I said, still filled with relief at the lack of pain; I closed my eyes and smiled. "It''s Oberon. I mean, I''m Oberon. In here, I match my mental image of myself¡ª voice included," Nia''s light tones were completely absent from my voice, and I instead sounded closer to my inner monologue''s register. "Oberon?" Craig said, confused. "How?" "I was a person before I was a monster. This place just reflects that." I answered, walking closer to the group and sitting down cross-legged. "Are we there? Did you get back to the bar?" Trevor asked. I shook my head. "I got away from the monsters, but I got hurt in the process. I have some supplies stored away in here that will help." "You don''t look injured," Satoshi said suspiciously. Or maybe it wasn''t suspicious, and I was just distrustful of the man. Talking with him had reminded me of Denis. He was quick to blame me for his problems and to ''other'' me out of thoughtless, if mostly understandable, fear. "Just another perk of this place. I''ll still be hurt when I leave, but in here, the rules are more flexible, especially for me." This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it "Ok, but is it safe for us to leave yet?" Trevor asked. "I don''t really want to stay in here any longer than I have to." The others nodded along to the statement, and I looked closer at their posture. They weren''t afraid of me, or at least not just me. They''d already been bunched up when I walked in. "What''s up? Did something happen?" "Umm, until you opened the door back up, it was pitch black and utterly silent. It felt like complete emptiness. Even the floor barely felt real. We found each other in the dark, thankfully, but we were the only things that still felt real." Alejandra said, and the others murmured sounds of agreement. "Oh. Well, shit," I said. I hadn''t expected that, but I''d also not left anyone waiting in my Shadow before. "Well. I haven''t gotten very far, but the bar is only a few blocks away if you want out. With luck, Luke escaped the monsters and will already be there, waiting. I need to get to the hospital, though. I know a doctor there that will stitch up my wound and hopefully get me some more targeted relief than the morphine I came in here to grab." "Blocks? Then we might run into more monsters," Trevor said uncertainly. "If you''re quiet and careful, you might go unnoticed, but honestly, I expect you''ll run into some, yeah." "I might prefer facing monsters to staying in the empty dark," Alejandra said, standing up. "I don''t think I can walk," Craig said softly, almost embarrassed. "I twisted my ankle when I fell." I bit my lip. "The four of you¡ªor three of you, if Craig stays with me¡ªcould probably make it back to the bar by backtracking the way we came. With a little luck, you won''t see any more monsters than we did on the way in. It''s a lot further to the hospital." "What''s the point of going back to the bar?" Satoshi asked. "With Luke gone, maybe even dead, and the front entrance busted open, we won''t even have the safety of numbers. I''d rather go to the hospital. At least there''s likely to be people there. Maybe even someone with a plan." I snorted. "Well, you''re not wrong, but you might be surprised." "I don''t know if I can stay here if it means going back into the dark either," Craig said again, sounding miserable and trapped. "It presses into me; I keep getting flashes of that boy''s death, like phosphenes, but crisp and detailed." I drummed my fingers against my leg. I needed these people. I really didn''t want to show any of them the exit, with the exception of maybe Satoshi. The problem was the inconsistent memories. I didn''t know what memories Satoshi would retain, but I knew that the more people gathered, the more their patchy memories could fill in the blanks for each other. "Alright. Fine. " I said. "There''s a... backdoor, to this place. Leads to a place called the ether, although I might have made that name up. Either way, it''s at least not dark. I''ve had people stay there without complaint, so it should be fine. I''m going to have to lock you on deck, though; there won''t be much to do." "Anywhere is better than here," Alejandra said. "It''s not like we weren''t already locked in," Satoshi half grumbled, making a good point. "Just¡ª don''t make me regret it. And if you meet a floating chrome eyeball the size of a beachball, don''t put too much stock in its words." "What?" Several voices asked at once. "Its name is Sori, and it''s a liar," I replied as I stood and walked away from the entrance where a new portal had appeared. Going into the ether would leave the door to the Shadow Alcove standing open. I could only hope that nothing would sneak in while I guided them to my domain. "That door wasn''t there before, was it?" I heard Satoshi ask his huddled group. "Help Craig and hurry up; I don''t want to leave the door open for long." Satoshi and Trevor draped Craig''s arms over their shoulders, and Alejandra led them behind me and into the ether. The lower deck of my stone ship wasn''t lit any better than the Shadow Alcove, but a golden color shone through the doorway at the end of the hall, illuminating our destination. There were also port holes along one wall that allowed in the green light and black shadows of the unnatural plasma ocean that we floated on impossibly. "Where are we?" Craig said, awe in his voice as he looked out the windows. "I''m not sure it is anywhere. Like I said, I call it the ether, but I don''t think it''s a real place. More like a dream." "Is it safe?" Trevor asked. "Well... sort of. Don''t go swimming in the plasma, and you should be fine." We walked into the room with the orange-yellow portal Sori had created as an exit from Forest Lake, and I gestured up the steps to the open cellar doors. "After you," I said, standing in front of the exit. "What is that? Is that the exit you were talking about? Could we just leave?" Satoshi asked hopefully. I shook my head. "No, I''m sorry. Not yet. The exit won''t open for most of a year. We''ll get you there, though. I promise." Satoshi looked torn but nodded and helped Trevor get Craig up the steps. Following them up, we exited onto the deck of an old-fashioned ship. The kind of ship my inner child gleefully labeled a "pirate ship," with a few key differences. For one, the masts were trees, and the sails were leaves and branches grown out on a flat plane to catch the wind. The two mast-trees grew in line at the middle of the ship. The deck and the sides of the ship were as hard as granite but colored like a dark sandstone. The cellar door we exited butted up against a cottage where you''d typically expect to find a ship''s cabin. Instead of railing, the ship had an old-school wooden fence, as might be seen on a farm or homestead. The prow, or at least the front triangle of the deck, was a zen garden, complete with rake, scraggly tree, and decorative bolder. The ship floated on an ocean of silent green and black plasma below a dark blue sky that occasionally flickered with ribbons of blue-white lightning. While my guest looked around at their temporary sanctuary, I slipped into the cabin. I grabbed my morphine, bandages, a notebook, as well as a stack of board games that had manifested on their own, like the rest of the ship. I locked the cabin behind me as I went back on deck and handed Alejandra the board games. "Here. I don''t have anything to eat or drink, but here are some board games. With any luck, I''ll be back in an hour or three. But here''s something to pass the time." I wasn''t eager to go back out and face the pain, but I also didn''t like leaving my Shadow Alcove open to the world. My Shadow had been stolen before, and I wasn''t sure it couldn''t happen again. So, with only a few more words exchanged, I left my guests behind, locking the cellar door as well. There was a strange vulnerability to leaving them with even this much unsupervised freedom in my domain. Still, it was the best solution I had for the moment, so I''d have to deal. I re-entered my Shadow, eyes scanning the dark for any sign of monsters having found the Alcove, and nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard someone speak. "Who the hell are you?" Luke asked. 081 Less Likely To Get Shot Hearing someone speaking behind me, I whirled around before recognizing Luke''s voice. "Jesus Christ, Luke!" I swore, my hand going to my throat. "Don''t sneak up on a guy in his own Shadow." "Hmm," Luke said, keeping a wary distance between us. "You sound like you know me. Blame it on the apocalypse, but I don''t recognize you. I''m looking for a big werewolf named Oberon. Have you seen him?" I considered introducing myself as Sam for a moment. Having a secret identity might have been fun¡ªmight have made it easier to be Oberon when the tough calls came. Unfortunately, however certain I was that I had a right to both identities, four of Luke''s customers already knew I had this human form. It would be just my luck that my secret identity would be one of the few things this group actually remembered. "Right, you haven''t seen me like this. These days, I can only be human in dreams and places like this that don''t follow the same rules as the rest of the world, but it''s still me, Oberon." I spread my arms out as though inviting him to inspect me, not that there was any hint of my wolf. "You''re Oberon?" Luke asked skeptically. "Do you have any way to prove that? You''ll forgive me, but there''s not a lot of certainty left in this world." "uh, proof. Hmm." I hadn''t had to prove who I was before; then again, the exit was right there, and that would be the quickest way, assuming there weren''t monsters out there. "Sure, my body will revert back to the blue werewolf form when I leave here. I''m injured, though, so I''ll need help bandaging my face." I said, holding up the gauze. I''d taken the Morphine already, but if I stayed here, it would take another 20-30 minutes before it kicked in, and my human body didn''t need it. One of the strange quirks of coming and going from the Shadow changed that, though. I''d discovered, accidentally, that my stomach contents got digested instantly as I moved between realms¡ªNot that I had any idea why; I didn''t seem to be losing any actual time, at least. That had been my biggest concern when I first discovered the strange feature. There weren''t many uses I''d discovered for it, and it was a bit inconvenient since I usually started feeling hungry shortly after using it, no matter how recently I''d eaten. "Before that, though," I said, eyeing the Portal leading back to the garage pit, "Weren''t you leading away monsters? Heroically, I might add." Luke gave me a searching look before shrugging off his own concern as unimportant. "I drew away what I could, but I saw two stay on your tail. I took out two of the monsters following me with my last bullets. The sound drew more monsters, but the death throws of the monsters I shot attracted their attention. I managed to slip away as the remaining monsters fought over the dying ones. "I decided to circle back and see if I could help with the remaining two, and I happened to see the flash of a monster¡ªyou, I guess¡ªhurrying into the mechanic''s garage. I saw the Shadow door and decided to check it out. Where''s everyone else?" I didn''t know Luke well, but he seemed like a reasonably solid dude, so I decided to trust him when he said he got away from his pursuers. At the least, I didn''t think he''d lie about it, which wasn''t the same as being correct. "Wow, well, well done." I congratulated him. "Alejandra, Trevor, Satoshi, and Craig are further in. I''ll bring you to them." "That''s okay. You were about to go back out there? I''ll go with you." Luke said. I expected I might hear suspicion in his words, but if he was doubting my identity, he was concealing it well. I raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure? I''m not going back to the bar, I need to go get a doctor friend of mine to stitch up a wound I took." Luke looked me up and down, "You don''t look injured, but you also don''t look like a monster. I''m assuming it''s part of the same power that lets you look human?" "Well," I said, feeling a little irritated, "I am human. Or at least I was. Or at least all my memories before the apocalypse are of being human," I clarified, thinking about a dolphin''s claim that I wasn''t actually Sam. "Either way, yes, the change in appearance and masking of injuries is all part of the Shadow''s power. Not that I completely understand how any of that works yet. Anyway, my doctor friend is at the hospital on the edge of town. It''ll be a bit of a walk and potentially dangerous. We''ll have to keep quiet if we want to avoid fighting more monsters. I know a safe-ish route, but there are no guarantees. It''d be safer for you to stay with the rest of the group." The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. Luke shrugged. "Safer for me, maybe. In my experience, people are plenty dangerous enough, especially of things that scare them. If I''m with you, I imagine you''ll be safer, or at least less threatening to the average person, and therefore less likely to get shot by the first survivor you come across." He had a point. In the worst-case scenario, I could probably open the Shadow Alcove long enough for him to slip inside. That said, I was more hesitant to use it that way after hearing what the experience had been like for Luke''s customers. "Alright. Well, we''ll step out, do a quick monster check, and then wrap my wound. It''ll be easiest to just wrap the gauze around my whole muzzle to secure my flap of skin." Luke offered to go first and make sure the garage was clear, and given that my injury might be distracting, I agreed. He popped out and back in the space of a few seconds, just long enough to poke his head out and look around. "Alright, we''re clear out there. Do you have something to wash the wound before we bandage it?" I shook my head. "It might get infected, but that''ll only last till the end of the loop at best, so it shouldn''t matter too much." I followed Luke back out of the Shadow, and the ache of my wounded cheek immediately returned, but thankfully without some of the sharper pain. The Morphine kicked in before the pain could take back much ground, but I still felt the cold air on my teeth and blood trickling between the furry fingers I was using to hold a gauze pad against my cheek. With Luke''s help, we bandaged the pad tightly in place. "How''s that?" Luke asked, inspecting our handiwork? "Jesus, it''s already bleeding through." I could feel blood pooling in my mouth as well, and I spat it out as best as I could with a bandaged-shut mouth. I couldn''t speak, a distressingly familiar situation for me. Thankfully, unlike my experience at the start of all this, I could at least communicate in other ways, and I gave Luke a thumbs up. It was as good as it was going to get. Luke had used the last of the bullets for his gun when he''d drawn away and killed some of our pursuing monsters, so he carried my bat. I left the crowbar in the Shadow Alcove and brought the spear. The crowbar would do more damage, but the spear would do a better job keeping any monsters at bay. Or so I reasoned. I had more monster-fighting experience than most, but I hadn''t exactly been a warrior before the world ended. Since defeating the Bogey monster that Nia''s mom, Kay, had become¡ªand receiving the deadline to evacuate Forest Lake¡ªI''d made the trip to and from the hospital several times. The hospital was toward the edge of town, and¡ªwhile there were businesses and even plenty of housing in that direction¡ªit was less populated than inner parts like where the Kaiju appeared. That was my best guess for why there weren''t as many monsters. ''Not as many'' wasn''t to say none, but Luke and I managed to avoid them. As we got closer to the hospital, I caught sight of a pair of crows flying near the hospital, and I wondered if they were connected to Crowseph. I hadn''t seen any sure sign of the crow monster since they''d abandoned their roost in the hospital ER. They were a threat I had a bad feeling I''d have to deal with eventually, but until and unless I found their swarm, there wasn''t much I could do. Luke pointed to something off in the distance, but the fog that most people seemed oblivious to obscured my vision, and I shrugged at him and raised an eyebrow in a question. "That giant rabbit is over there. Could be a look-alike, I suppose." I pulled out the pocket notebook and pen from a spot in my vest. "Alone?" Luke shook his head. "There are a few creatures with it," "Allies, probably, watch them pls." I wrote. When we got closer, I could see the silhouettes of Mother and Father, waddling around the rabbit and ducking underneath its bulk without any apparent concern. Then again, they could grow to more than twice my size in the span of breaths, so they didn''t have much reason to be afraid. "Why aren''t we going in the front?" Luke asked as we climbed the steep drive to the back of the building. We weren''t going in the front because I wasn''t really interested in running into any of Kay''s group, who were holed up right in the chapel next to the main entrance. Fear and trauma had led them down some dark roads, but they hadn''t resisted those paths as hard as I thought they should, and I wasn''t willing to extend them much trust. Most people who weren''t monsters wouldn''t have much to worry about, assuming Pastor Kay hasn''t been corrupted by her trauma monster again. I just shrugged and pointed at my injury as we approached the entrance for outpatient surgeries. It wasn''t worth explaining all that quite yet. Besides, there was something nostalgic about returning to where it all began. 082 Whos Your Friend? As we walked toward the back entrance of the hospital, we were approaching the vortex barrier that surrounded the town. The Vortex split the hospital in two, including the parking lot and squad car that had been my original spawn point. I had nearly escaped town in that car with Jon at the wheel and Nia and her dad in the back. Fate and bad luck had slowed us down, and in the end, we were seconds too slow. I''d crashed the car to prevent Jon from driving us into the barrier in a desperate bid at freedom that would have killed us. Nia''s dad had still died, leaving the 12-year-old clinging to his severed arm. A monster had spawned from her pain, a tick-like creature with fingers for legs that I named Tickles. For more iterations than I could remember, Nia started the loop trapped in the back of the car, locked in with her monster. Eventually, we figured out how to change her spawn point. Later, she learned she could use the crystal in the monster''s brain to recover her own memories and begin retaining memories across time loops. Her mom, Pastor Kay, discovered the same thing. Unfortunately, Kay''s trauma turned her into a bogey monster who relished causing pain and death "to those who deserve it," which included her own daughter. However, I had suspicions that it wasn''t altogether new behavior. Alice, Nia''s step-sister, also faced her traumatic memories. Like Nia, she was able to carry the weight of her trauma without losing herself and turning Bogey. I peered inside the back window of the squad car to see Tickles was inside, but it was empty, so Nia was still "Titania." Taking the traumatic memories into herself had changed her appearance, giving her human-scale bat wings and horns, several inches of height, and nearly as much physical strength as me¡ªwhich is to say, not enough to lift a car, but you wouldn''t want to take her punch either. "What are you doing?" Luke asked as I looked into the leg well of the patrol car. Nia had hidden there before, but it was also empty, as expected. I only knew of one way, maybe two, to remove her traumatic memories and the supernatural transformation. Kay had somehow stolen my Shadow and used it to take memory crystals from people''s brains without killing them. Of course, she didn''t do this to be helpful. Once Kay removed the memory crystals, she stored them in the Shadow so that her victims spawned in a catatonic state that left them vulnerable to being controlled by Kay as though they were puppets. It wasn''t worth taking out my notebook to write, ''I was just checking something,'' so I shrugged instead. My Shadow Alcove wasn''t the only way to remove memory crystals without killing someone. Alice had accidentally been doing precisely that to a patient who had the bad luck of being in brain surgery when the Vortex dropped down to surround the town. It wouldn''t be easy to recreate that situation, so I''d known it was unlikely I''d find Nia or her monster back in the patrol car, but that didn''t preclude checking. I waved for Luke to follow as I walked up the ramp to the familiar back lobby of the hospital. In the past, Maebe had been behind the reception desk, sometimes freaking out at seeing me, sometimes catatonic, sometimes being devoured by Slender Hopper, the grasshopper-meets-slenderman monster whose origin was still a mystery. It was still around after Kay had turned Maebe into a puppet, which made me doubt it was hers, but I didn''t have another suspect either. It was mute at this point anyway, as Slender Hopper was also absent, not that I was surprised. The Gremlins had more or less eaten it but claimed they were making a baby Gremlin. Mother did look pregnant, but she''d also swallowed whole a bug that was nearly her same size. Either way, I was glad I didn''t have to fight it anymore. It probably wouldn''t be a challenge anymore since it was incredibly predictable. Still, it was responsible for some of my more horrendous deaths, and I was as glad as anyone it was gone. The lobby was empty, and there were no signs of gore or disarray to suggest any violence. If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. "You said you had a doctor friend here?" Luke asked, "This place looks deserted." They were probably in the break room; I was a little surprised that they weren''t watching the entrances, though. Part of the reason they stayed at the hospital was to help anyone who came here looking for help. I shrugged again and pointed to the left hall. I wasn''t sure what it was about not being able to talk that made people ask me questions, but it had happened enough that I suspected it was just a part of the human condition. "I''d have guessed this place would be packed, but I bet most people go to Meadow Brook. This place is kind of out of the way, and half of it got cut off by the Vortex anyway. If you hadn''t brought me out this way, I would have assumed it was on the outside." Luke said as he followed me down the hallway to the left. I nodded in agreement. That would make sense. I knew at least some people had come to this hospital, but not as many as I would have expected. When we reached the door to the break room, I pulled out my notebook and wrote, "Will u go first? I''m scary." "I thought you knew people here?" He was right, but most of the people I knew were like those at his bar. I wrote, "I know them, but they don''t all remember well. Might panic." Alice had all of her memories, or at least all of them from the last three weeks. Likely, she had told her friends about me so they wouldn''t panic too much, but it would go easier if they at least got a heads up. "Sure, nobody''s ever panicked unnecessarily at the sight of a black man. I definitely won''t get shot." Luke said dryly as he stepped up to the break room door. Luke gave me a flat look and knocked on the door. "Hello, I''m looking for a Doctor...Alice?" he said through the door before whispering, "What''s her last name?" I could only shrug sheepishly. I''d probably been told at one point, but it hadn''t stuck in my head. Alice opened the door a little, more than a crack, but not wide enough to step through. "I''m Alice, what''s¡ªOh! Sam! I mean Oberon!" "Sam?" Luke mouthed at me in a question. Alice swung the door open and stepped past Luke to give me a brief hug, which I found thoroughly awkward; I''d never been much of a hugger. At the same time, the casual physical contact made me feel more human and reminded me why that was important. I relaxed a little as I returned the hug, awkward or not. "Who''s your friend? and what happened to your face" She asked, inviting us into the break room."Guys, Oberon is here, the one I was telling you about. So, you know, be cool." Luke offered Alice his hand, "Hi, the name''s Luke." Alice accepted his handshake. "I''m Alice, that''s Anderson, Jessica, and Maebe over there." Alice had taken in her trauma crystal and gained monstrous features, like her sister, but different. The last time I spoke to her, she had black feathers growing out of her skin down her arms and potentially other places as well, including a few that stuck out of her short black hair. It also turned her entire eye black, sclera and all. Like Nia, she also grew a few inches taller and got stronger. None of that, save her height, was visible as she greeted Luke and inspected my bloody bandage. She''d never been short, but now she was at least 6 feet tall; sure, I had a good foot on her, but she was even in height with Luke. For the rest of her monster to be hidden, she had to be using illusions. I felt a twinge of envy. I was supposed to be learning to create illusions, but my teacher was a manipulative flake of an other worldly horror who had tricked me into promising it would be allowed to teach me. Then it had refused to teach me. If Alice had figured it out, maybe she''d give me an unprompted hint. I waved a greeting to Anderson, Jessica, and Maebe. Still, I wasn''t surprised that none of them were coming over to say hi as Alice unwrapped the bandage from around my muzzle. I''d never interacted much with Maebe, and only Anderson was likely to have retained any memories of the week I spent around him. In truth, it was more like hours, and he did at least seem to know I was a friendly "Are you sure you should be doing that in here? It''s pretty bad." Luke said. "Well, there''s no real concern about infection, and in a few hours, there''ll be nothing to clean up, so how about you worry about sports or something and leave the doctoring to doctors." "Whoa, hostile," Luke said as he held up his hands in fo-surrender. "Just be glad I''m not on my period," Alice replied flatly as she examined the pad stuck to the drying blood of my torn cheek. "Oh my god, can you imagine? Groundhog Day, but every day with a heavy flow," Jessica said, making me snort in amusement. Jessica and I had shared a moment once. A moment she''d never remember. To save her from being haunted by a trauma monster, we''d erased even the partial memories she had. It has been a fleeting, impossible moment anyway. It had also been nice. "Well," Alice said. "Not to state the obvious, but this will take stitches. "You on anything, Oberon?" "Morphine," I said in Nia''s voice while holding the bandage so it didn''t flop around as I spoke. If I''d been using my own voice, the sounds would have been muffled or mangled, but whatever weird magic was being used to give me her voice apparently didn''t need to consider such things. "Alright. Come with me next door, and we''ll get you stitched up. Luke, was it? You might as well hang out here and have a snack or something." Alice said as she walked toward the exit. "Uh, hey, Oberon, what about Craig and the rest?" I facepalmed; I''d gotten distracted and forgotten about them. In my defense, I''d only had magic powers for a couple weeks. I looked at Alice and said, "They''re in my Shadow," my hand still holding the hole in my cheek. The morphine went a long way, but talking was beginning to irritate the spot and overcome the narcotic. "Injured?" Alice asked, waiting in the doorway. "One of them at least. Twisted ankle or something," I told her. "Well, why don''t we start by getting you stitched up, and we''ll go from there." 083 Maybe Some Relief I expected Alice to go into one of the surgery bays. Instead, she led me across the hall into a room with a bed, cabinets, and various medical devices. It looked like any examination room I''d ever seen. "Not surgery?" I asked, Nia''s youthful voice sounding more uncertain than I actually felt. "This is for out-patient procedures: colonoscopies, cataract surgeries, biopsies, things like that," Alice said, gesturing toward the paper-covered bed. "Have a seat, get comfortable, lay back if you like." I sat on the bed, paper sheeting crunchy as I did. There''s always an awkwardness to going to the doctor; you''re vulnerable and often unfamiliar with the room, the doctor, or both. I was familiar with¡ªand relatively comfortable with¡ªAlice, and the crackling rustle of that parchment paper still made me self-conscious. I had to wonder if that was intentional, or at least a bonus. I didn''t want to move and bring on another thundering whisper of paper, which might go a long way to cutting down on nervous squirming when doctors need a patient to hold still. Alice talked casually as she washed her hands, a habit likely born out of reassuring patients unnerved by the noise-maker of a bed."Things have been quiet here since you left. There aren''t any more monsters in the hospital, at least if you don''t count Hands, or, for that matter, Nia and myself." "Looks like Hands finally taught you to make illusions," I replied, gesturing vaguely at her featherless appearance. "It looks good. Even knowing it''s an illusion, it isn''t shattering like Hands''s do. There are also no obvious inconsistencies. Really good job!" "Thanks," Alice said, flashing me a quick smile. Hands''s problem is he''s not human, even if he has a lot of memories of being human. It means he doesn''t always understand when his illusions seem slightly off." "Is Nia at this point too?" I asked, choosing to lay back on the bed, the paper crinkling beneath me. "Nia''s got a wider range than I do, but less control; I think it''s because she''s almost always stuck in that Dreamland." Alice gathered together supplies, using her badge to unlock a cabinet and remove a bottle of something and a clean needle and adding it to a tray table with the other supplies she''d gathered. "I tend to hold my glamour in place, which is part of why it''s harder to break. I''ve gotten to the point where I can keep up my glamour without really even thinking about it, but Nia''s glamours tend to shift and change. It''s honestly a little unnerving, like knowing you''re dreaming but being unable to wake up." I turned my head with minimal sonorous paper wrinkling. "Honestly, either ability sounds extremely useful to me. Sori needs to get off his ass and teach me. How''d you get Hands to teach you?" Alice sat on a rolling stool and scooted over beside the bed and tray table. "Nia''s been showing me what she can do when I''m allowed visitation. Hands saw me working on it and agreed to teach me in exchange for my help checking his illusory defenses, " she said as she sanitized her hands and put on gloves. I winced at the mention of Nia''s captivity. I''d seen the dreamland village she was staying in and spoken to the other people who lived there, and it was as nice a place as you could expect to find in the apocalypse. Both Nia and Alice assured me that Hands was treating Nia well and living up to his bargain to teach her illusions and give Alice and Nia access to each other. None of that changed that Nia was being held hostage against my good behavior, behavior that included letting Sori teach me to make illusions rather than getting Alice or Nia, or even Hands, to teach me instead. Alice dipped the needle into the bottle and drew back the plunger, "I''m going to give you a local anesthetic. You aren''t human, or at least you don''t appear human. It might be interesting to take some blood samples and see how close you are, but that''s something to look into later. I''m telling you that because I don''t know for sure how the anesthetic will affect you." "So far, I think I''ve reacted normal to everything. I even gorged myself on chocolate the other day after coming across some while in a bad mood and didn''t even get sick, at least not any more than if I''d been human." I offered, trying to bargain away her warning. "That''s good, I just want you to be prepared that yesterday''s rules don''t offer the same reassurance of consistency that they used to. Let me ask you though, when did you take that morphine?" If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. "Maybe an hour ago?" "And, how are you feeling?" "There''s still a bit of pain, but it helped a lot." "That''s great. And, what about apart from the pain. Any feelings of euphoria?" "Hmm, no, not really. Maybe some relief?" "That''s also good. Now, people react to drugs differently, but it would be typical to experience some level of euphoria after taking morphine for a wound like this. We''re also living in a new reality where we just can''t expect to be as certain about things as we once were." I didn''t like the idea that I wasn''t human anymore; it reinforced Hands''s insistence that I wasn''t Sam. I''d learned to accept that some people were always going to see me as a monster. Still, I didn''t know how to feel about the idea that I was only a monster with stolen memories and sense of self. "So, what do we do?" I asked; this time, the emotion in my words couldn''t entirely be blamed on Nia''s loaned voice. "We''re going to take this slow, and I''ll just give you a little at first, and we''ll see how it feels. We want it to numb your cheek, so if you feel any burning or any change anywhere other than your cheek, let me know, and we''ll try a different anesthetic." Alice leaned forward and poked me with the needle very briefly, "Alright, we''ll give that a minute and see what happens. So what about you? You''re keeping people inside the ether now?" I stared up at the ceiling and tried not to prod my cheek with my tongue, "It was a desperate move to escape some pursuing monsters. Luke actually led several away by himself to give them the chance." "He''s a bit of an ass hat." "Probably; he runs a bar. I imagine it comes with the territory." "You''d think the end of the world would break people out of outdated mentalities like telling female doctors how to doctor." "That would be nice, but I imagine that mentality was always about feeling in control. It seems like situations like this will only make that kind of behavior more common." "Jesus, I hope not." "If it helps, I don''t think Luke meant anything by it. He remembers more than most; he knows that he''s missing memories and that more time has passed than he can recall, but he doesn''t remember enough to know the new rules. And... well, I can''t help but notice that you washed your hands, sanitized them, and put on gloves after telling Luke you weren''t concerned about infection." Alice opened her mouth to reply and then closed it. "Hmph. Okay, so I did. Habits die hard even in the apocalypse, it seems. Well, I don''t take it personally¡ªI''ve seen it often enough¡ªbut I''ll try to give him the benefit of the doubt that it wasn''t meant as misogynistically as it came out. Once. I want to go back to something; you said he knows that time has passed that he doesn''t remember?" Alice had been working on theories on why people were retaining different levels of memory. "Yeah. His bar has been a bit of a gathering place for people, so there''s usually a sizeable group of them all talking. So it seems like you might be right that people can help each other''s memories." "Hmm," Alice said thoughtfully, "I still think that''s a good theory, and I bet it''s part of it. I remember reading that couples and close friends tend to rely on each other to remember things for them. ''Tell them about that time I did such and such,'' ''Where did I leave my whatever?'' ''Did I watch that with you? Did I like it?'' things like that. I''ve seen Anderson, Jessica, and Maebe act that way, piecing things together with what scraps of memory they have. But Anderson is always the easiest to convince without proof. He also always knows that he''s missing memories and that time has passed. I feel like there''s something there. How''s your cheek?" I prodded it with my tongue and finger simultaneously. "A little numb?" "No trouble breathing or pain?" "Nothing new anyway." "Alright, I''m going to give you some more, and then we''ll trim the area while we wait for it to finish kicking in." She told me to get her attention if the act of trimming the area was uncomfortable, and then began to clear away my fur. It wasn''t so long ago she was bandaging other wounds with a less friendly attitude. Last time, Jessica had gone missing, and Maebe had been found in a compromised state and covered in my fur. I watched the fur fall to the ground out of the corner of my eye. I''d been paranoid about leaving fur loose for a few days after that, worried Kay or someone would use it to set me up again. I was still a little nervous, but Alice and I had learned to trust each other a bit over the last few weeks. After shaving the area clean, she gently cleaned it. "Even if we''re not worried about infection, we want to get any particulates out of the way so we don''t irritate the wound more than necessary after it''s closed." She used staples to close the wound, explaining that it was quicker, but that ordinarily she''d have recommended stitches for maintenance and aesthetic reasons, but that the time-loop negated the need. "Really, I could just superglue this closed, and it would probably be fine, if a bit rigid." Then she bandaged it loosely and far enough back that I could open my mouth without trouble. The bandage wrapped over my nose and near the back of my jaw and was mostly there to prevent snagging the staples on anything. "Now, ordinarily, I''d be recommending soft, easy-to-chew foods because eating is necessary. For you, I''d recommend sticking to water. That way, you won''t agitate it and need to take more uncertain medication. The anesthetic is supposed to be long-lasting, so with luck, we''ll get through the day without any more unnecessary experimentation." "That''s fine; it''s not like it''d be the first loop I didn''t eat. Are you ready for me to bring out Luke''s people? One of them, Craig, probably needs to be looked at." "Yes, but if you don''t mind, let''s bring in the others. Exposing them to that kind of weirdness might help some of the other stuff stick." 084 With Me In The Dark Alice and I walked back into the hospital break room. The voices inside were casual, and I even heard some laughter as we approached. When Alice began to enter, however, those sounds of joviality cut off. "It''s just us," Alice said as she swung open the door. The four people inside visibly relaxed. I guess even without fighting monsters, times were tense. "Lord, Alice." Anderson said, "You scared the crap out of us." "How''s Oberon? All patched up? That didn''t take long." Jessica asked with slightly-forced cheer in her voice. "Just a few quick staples and I''m good to go," I said lightly, swinging my arms unconsciously. Jessica made me nervous in the ''I don''t want to do the wrong thing!'' kind of way. "Time to let out the others?" Luke asked. "Yeah, Alice said these guys might want to see," I said. "I''ll admit to a bit of curiosity myself. I''ve seen the dark; now, show me the ark," Luke joked. "Well, should I just whip it out here?" I joked. "Why not? we can lock the door if it makes you feel more comfortable." Alice teased with a wink at Luke, who just looked bemused. "That''s probably a good idea. Alright. Alice, you get the door, everybody else, stand back, I guess. Or don''t; I don''t know what happens if someone gets in the way of this opening, so we can find out together." Oddly enough, nobody was interested in testing that for me, and they backed up. The Shadow door seemed to rise up from the actual shadows, so it was likely it would just form in front of them, but I also wasn''t putting my arm out to test that, at least not this early into a loop. The Shadow rose up my actual shadow. I hadn''t had a chance to do a ton of testing yet, but one of the tests on my list was trying to open the Shadow Alcove in the complete dark. Would it just appear around me, or would the entrance appear somewhere randomly in the dark space? At some point, I''d test it, but it wasn''t a high priority right then. I gestured at the doorway with a bow to my audience. Alice and Luke clapped politely while the rest also gaped more genuinely. "After you," I said, but my words were met with hesitation until I glanced at Alice for help. "Alright, after me then," She said and stepped inside. She''d been in the Shadow before, though even apart from the otherworldly emptiness Luke''s patrons had talked about, Alice had been operated on in there while awake. I couldn''t imagine there weren''t some negative associations there that I hadn''t really considered. Still, she entered the Shadow, and the others followed in after, with Jessica and myself in the rear. When I entered the alcove, I immediately opened the passage to my ether ship, to allow Alice and the others access. "This is so weird," Jessica said. Perhaps it was because she was the first to speak in the space; maybe it was because she was the smallest, but, for one reason or another, something tried to kill her in that moment. Whatever it was, I couldn''t see it, but some sound or glint or sixth sense told me danger was incoming. I dove forward, tackling Jessica as carefully as I could, something sharp scraping against the back of my neck as I did. I cradled Jessica in one arm and caught myself on the floor with the other. "Go go! into the ship!" I yelled. It was too dark in here. We couldn''t see the attacker. My spine tingled, and I could tell I was being watched. "Oberon, what is it?" Luke asked. This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it "He said go!" Alice snapped, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him deeper into the shadow. If I died, the doorways would close, but everybody on the ship would be fine if I didn''t trap them with the monster. Anybody in the Shadow would probably be killed by whatever was attacking. Goddamit, this is supposed to be MY Shadow; why am I being attacked here? Alice dragged Luke through the passage to my Ether Ship, and Maebe and Anderson hurried in behind as I stood and pulled Jessica to her feet. "Come one, stick close, keep your head down." I had a suspicion about what this thing was, but for that moment, that''s all it was. I put one arm out at Jessica''s head level to block sneak attacks and raised the other arm up to protect my own head as best as I could. Jessica put her hands softly on my arm, not to move or lower it, but to cling to it as a guide and protection as we moved toward the ship door. The alcove''s exit was closer, but if we split up, the attacker could probably take out whoever I wasn''t with. The smart thing to do would be to send Jessica out and hope she wasn''t pursued or could at least escape. Even if she died, she''d at least have lured the monster out of hiding. If I stayed with her, the creature could remain hidden and potentially even kill Alice and company in the Ether, risking all the memories they''d gained so far. One step at a time, Jessica and I walked¡ªinches apart¡ªtoward the entrance, my eyes, ears, and instincts searching for any sign of movement. The hair on the back of my neck stood up; I could feel motion in the dark, but not its target or where it was exactly. The entrance to the ship was just ahead, and I shoved Jessica forward a moment before a feathered weight smacked into my arm, one talon tearing into me. Jessica screamed as she stumbled forward, and I saw a tear in her scrubs top and a bloom of blood as the wound beneath bled freely and copiously. Alice and Luke were waiting just on the other side of the entryway, peering into the ark with the limited light that was available below deck on my ship. When Jessica came stumbling through, they grabbed her before she could sprawl out on the floor and pulled her deeper. "Come on! This way!" Alice said, leading Luke and Jessica deeper into the ship where she''d already directed Anderson and Maebe. The owl monster had somehow snuck into my Shadow, probably back in the mechanic''s pit. I hurried after¡ªthem if for no other reason than getting into the light would make finding the thing much easier. The giant owl was quicker. Its wings hugged its side as it propelled itself through the doorway, spreading out again to glide down the hall, wings curving up slightly to avoid dragging against the walls. "Alice, behind you!" I shouted a warning, chasing after the group. "Down!" Alice said, pulling Jessica and Luke down as she dropped to the ground under swooping talons. The patchy pale-green owl monster brought its feet up and closed its wings. Its talons hit the far wall by the doorway to the stairs, and it pushed off, propelling itself back toward us while my allies were still trying to get back to their feet. Its eyes were locked on its targets, and they''d have trouble getting out of the way a second time. I sprinted toward them and, without slowing, hurdled Luke and Jessica as they tried to get back to their feet. The owl tried to pull back but was too slow. My paw hands gripped each other, and I brought my fists down like a club on the owl''s head, smashing it to the ground and then stomped hard on it, once, twice, and then pulled back for a third before pausing, panting heavily, if mostly from adrenaline. When it didn''t move, I lowered my leg and turned to check on my allies. "Jesus, that''s that owl from back in the alley," Luke said, his own breathing coming hard. "Yeah, it must have snuck in back then, when I was taking care of Craig and them. Everybody okay? Jessica?" I asked, my youthful voice shaking as much or more than Luke''s. "Just a scratch. I''ll be okay. Alice?" Jessica said, her voice surprisingly cool, if not completely void of quaver. "All good, bruised knees, but I''ll take it," Alice said. "That was quick S-Oberon." "Thanks," I said, a doggy grin pulling my mouth back and opening just enough to tug at the staples in my mostly numb cheek. "Um, Thanks, Oberon. Thanks for saving us and staying with me in the dark." Jessica said, her eyes fixed on the pale body and dark gore. It was gross and in my fur, but we were in the Ether, and since I actually had a second to think, I changed into my preferred shape, letting the gore fall away. My voice was a deeper tenor verging on baritone when I spoke, matching that of my inner monologue, and I breathed a sigh of relief. "No problem. I''m glad I could help. We''ll get you bandaged up when we get to the others." 085 Our Abuelas Would Be So Proud "Wow, you really don''t look like an Oberon without the fur," Maebe said, her eyes giving me the once over. Of everyone in Alice''s group, I knew Maebe the least well, despite that she was the first one I''d met¡ªor at least the first one who''d spoken to me. I''d thought at one point she was Nia''s sister, but only because they were both blonde, and I was primed to find Alice. This was before I found out they weren''t blood-related. "More of a Nahual?" I quipped, though there wasn''t much chance they''d actually recognize the myth. "What''s that?" Anderson asked. "They''re shapeshifters from Mexican folklore. My Tita would be tickled that I actually remembered what they were called." I said as we headed toward the golden-orange glow of the exit. "Alright, everybody keep left; that glowing passage is off limits." "That''s the exit?" Jessica asked, and I shot Alice a reproachful look; she knew I wasn''t ready to spread that around yet. "What?" She said defensively. "I hadn''t seen you for days; how was I supposed to know you''d come back today? Besides, it was a good morale boost just knowing there was an out." "Couldn''t we just use it now?" Jessica asked, and I was tempted to let her. I sighed. "We could," I said honestly. "Come on, the others are waiting at the top of the stairs. If we''re talking about this, I''ll tell everyone at once." I didn''t guard the door like I did when bringing in Craig''s group; I trusted these guys to follow me. Rather, I trusted them to follow Alice, and Alice wouldn''t go through the door, especially not without Nia. I unlatched the cellar doors and pushed them open, one after the other. As I walked onto the deck of my ship, I saw my four passengers look up from playing a board game at the edge of the zen garden. Trevor had gone so far as to stand up for a better view¡ªor possibly to be prepared for any trouble. I waved and then stood aside as Luke, Alice, Jessica, Anderson, and Maebe filed up the stairs one after another. "What in the world?" Jessica said, awe in her voice. "Where are we?" Purple clouds roiled silently overhead, meeting the luminous green of the plasma ocean at some distant horizon in all directions. "He calls it the Ether," Alice answered for me. I shrugged. "I don''t think I came up with the name, but if you have a better name for it, call it that. Hands calls his a ''Domain'' and ''Dreamland,'' there''s merit to both names, but also a fair bit of ego. I don''t control this space, and I especially don''t control everything not on this ship. The ship itself was probably created from my mind, or at least some parts of it are very familiar, especially the stuff inside the cabin." "Is that the drunk diary part?" Jessica teased, beginning to wander over to the railing, her eyes exploring the strange ship with curiosity. "More or less, yeah. There are personal memories and keepsakes in there." Jessica was leaning over the rail, looking down the side of the ship. "Be careful over there; if you fall overboard, you''ll lose any memories you happen to have. Oh¡ªI mean, you''ll die," The end of the world was skewing my perspective. "The whole ship is rock. On the outside, anyway. It''s not even smooth." Jessica said as she straightened up. Anderson was rubbing a leaf of one of the mast trees between his thumb and two fingers without detaching it from its branch, "I can''t imagine these trees can propel a heavy stone ship like this." Luke was walking around looking in wonder at the cottage, complete with lawn and compost pile. "Is it a ship or just a ship-shaped island?" "I don''t know, really. I can''t tell if we''re moving or if there''s even anywhere to go," I replied. Alejandra was nonchalantly approaching a hint of uncertainty as she glanced around our group. She said something to Luke, approaching him first, and I raised a hand in greeting, "Hey, what game did you go with?" I asked her. Satoshi and Trevor had stayed back with Craig. The four of them had dragged wooden beach recliners together and were using them as seating and table both. Luke nodded, and she walked over with less hesitancy. "We played a game of clue, but it was over pretty quick, so then we pulled out Risk. Personally, I voted for Catan, but Satoshi and Craig hadn''t played before and didn''t want to learn the rules." Alejandra replied. "Who are your friends? Also, you are Oberon, right? I saw you looking human for like two seconds." "He goes by Nahual now," Anderson said with a grin. "No, I don''t-" "Ooo, a Nahual! Alejandra said, "That would explain some things. A little weird that your tonal animal is blue and bipedal, but then I''ve never met a real one." "I''m not a Nahual, and I doubt anyone has a blue wolf-man as an animal spirit." "Look at us; our abuelas would be so proud," Alejandra said, making me burst out laughing with surprise. The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings. Alejandra gave me a look, and I just waved it off. Tradition and culture were probably important for society or something, but clinging to those things too tightly tears people apart. My Grandma died when I was young, but she''d never known me for who I was. My mom had forbidden me from giving her my pronouns. She''d loved me, and I''d loved her. I''d wanted to tell her I was a boy, and I wished I knew if she''d have accepted it. My mother''s feelings about my identity made me doubt our relationship would have survived it. It was an old wound, and I mostly found it ironic that people who happily believed a god could become a mortal, or a mortal could become their spirit animal, didn''t believe a girl could become a boy. Old and buried in cynical amusement as the wound was, it still frustrated and angered me, and hurt more than I wanted to admit. All I actually said was, "Could be, could be," laughter still in my voice. "Alejandra, that''s Anderson; beside me is Alice, and over by the railing are Jessica and Maebe. Obviously, you know Luke. They''re the doctor friends I mentioned." "All of them?" Alejandra said with a raised eyebrow. "Well, we''re at a hospital, and they all wanted to see this place. But yeah, all but Anderson are surgeons, too, I think." I turned to Alice, and she nodded in confirmation. "Fancy. I don''t think Craig needs surgery. An ice pack would probably help, though; his knee is pretty swollen. What''s Dr. Anderson do?" Alejandra said. "I make sure you sleep through it when you do get surgery." "Just call him Mr. Sandman," I joked, seeing a chance to turn the tables; Alejandra flashed me a smile, joining me in the joke. Anderson''s eyes brightened with good humor, "Sure! Call me whatever; just don''t call me late for dinner." I groaned at the dad joke. I''d have to remember to spend more time here. Not too much more; I was on a clock, after all. Still, whether it was because we were safe here or because I was human here, either way, the atmosphere was considerably lighter, almost giddy even, despite the heavy clouds. "Not much point of surgery when the time loop will just fix everything anyway," Alice spoke up, bringing us back on track. "Right, I forget that''s a thing," Alejandra said. Jessica and Maebe walked back over to meet Alejandra, and then we started toward the three men. "It''s alright, guys, Oberon brought the doctor he promised, as well as a few spares and a mattress salesman." Alejandra called out. "A mattress salesman?" Trevor asked. "Luke, you made it! We were worried." "I think she means Mr. Sandman over there. He knocks people out for surgery," Luke answered. "And thanks, I won''t say it wasn''t close, but I''m glad the six of us survived anyway." "Am I going to need surgery?" Craig asked, sitting up straighter, his injured leg stretched out on the wooden beach chair. "No, no, they''re just the only doctors I know," I said. "They''ll check you out and give you some pain relief and let the time loop fix you up. Time loops make being a doctor easy." Anderson snorted. "And what did you do for a living?" "You''ve seen my comic. Basically, that, but online. I also did some layout and graphic design stuff for the newspaper." I told him. "Sounds like you''re out of a job too. It''s Morning Edition meets Groundhog Day." Anderson joked. "I don''t know what that means," I said, looking to the others for explanation. "Groundhog Day like the movie about the repeating day?" Jessica asked. "Obviously," Anderson said with clear disappointment in his voice. Craig cleared his throat, "And Early Edition was a show in the nineties about a guy that got tomorrow''s newspaper and went around trying to stop bad things from happening." "And won the lottery in the process?" Alice said, humor in her voice. "I don''t remember," Anderson said, taking up the explanation, "probably, but that''s not the point. The point is the paper was delivered by a cat." "Wait, but dogs are the ones known for bringing in the paper," Trevor said, having sat back down when we started walking their way. Satoshi sat beside him on the beach chair, scowling between us. I was guessing he''d seen neither thing and was judging our chosen conversation topic. "I know; it seems like it''s right there, but the point is, Oberon is like that cat, but during a Groundhog Day." "You make a good point," I said, rubbing my chin, "I should go take over my newspaper and get them to write what I tell them," Then I paused; kidding or not, I was a little taken aback by the idea. "Man, it''s too bad nobody reads newspapers anymore; that might have been a good plan twenty years ago." "Ya know, if we''d been thinking, we''d have brought a wheelchair," Alice said. "Where''s Denis when we need him?" Jessica asked innocently, making Alice and I tense up and share a look. Dennis had betrayed Alice''s group and even killed Anderson accidentally. Sort of accidentally, he was aiming the gun at me. Anderson scowled as well, seeming dissatisfied himself, and I wondered what he remembered. Alice and I had changed Anderson and Jessica''s spawn points after that to keep them away from Kay, but we left Denis with her. "It''s fine," I said. "I can carry Craig. Before we get to that, I want to talk to you all about the exit." Hopefully they¡¯d all understand why none of them would be using it anytime soon. 086 Ive Already Seen Hell "I do have a plan." I started. "In case I haven''t told you, or if you just don''t remember, we have about 49 weeks to evacuate everyone in town." Alice sat down next to Craig, "This is the leg you hurt? Tell me what happened?" She asked, keeping her voice hushed so as not to interrupt. "Alright, I''ll bite; what happens in 49 weeks?" Anderson asked. Craig was quietly telling Alice what happened and where it hurt, but his eyes watched me, listening for my answer. "One way or another, I''ll be leaving. I won''t have much of a choice. Anybody left behind will be stuck in the time loop forever, but without even partial memories of the loop, just the same last day over and over with no ability to make any real change." "Shit." several voices said at once, along with more colorful expletives. "Can I tear this hole a wider to get a better look at your knee?" Alice asked. I nodded my agreement to the expletives. "Exactly. And there''s only one exit that can really only be used by one or two people at a time. Out there, I''m a monster. It doesn''t matter what I know; it doesn''t matter that I''m trying to help; most people will never listen to me, at least not in the time I have to convince them. I can''t let people leave as I find them. Satoshi, I know you especially are eager to leave to find your family. But if I did things that way, I''d be lucky to evacuate more than a hundred people. I don''t know how many people are still in town, but it could be as much as a thousand times that many. So here''s the deal: Anybody who wants to use my exit needs to recruit 10 people to the cause of evacuation. That''s 10 people who can be quickly brought up to speed and given the same task of recruiting 10 people." While I spoke, Alice widened the tear in Craig''s jeans and gently prodded his swollen knee. "We''d have to recruit all 10 in a single day to be sure you weren''t taking advantage of our spotty memories," Satoshi said. "Besides, how will you keep the recruits from forgetting, making the whole effort pointless?" "I''ve got plans for that¡ªinstruction manuals and explanations that can persist across the loops with some effort. Alice and I are also working to better understand how memories are retained. The plan to recruit 10 people in one day actually works in our favor. As best as we can tell, groups of people working together retain more memories, which will be key with any recruits." "Well, ordinarily, I''d want to take an x-ray, and we still can if you like, but I think your friend is right. We''ll get you some ice and Tylenol and keep you off of it for the rest of the day. Ten hours from now, you''ll be back on your feet, no problem." Alice said pleasantly in her doctor-voice. "is it just me, or does this sound like a pyramid scheme?" Jessica asked. "Not the rest and pain relievers, the other thing." She clarified. "It does, and in a way it is," I agreed. "On the other hand, it''s not like I''m handing out escape bucks that will be pool disproportionately at the peak. Once we get started and have some momentum, we could have the entire town lined up to leave in less than a week." "And, how set in stone is this? After all, what about children? Are you expecting a five-year-old to convince 10 people to go along with this? Blind people? Sick people? Who decides?" Trevor asked. "I''m not trying to argue, just to understand." I nodded. "This plan is really just a starting point. It won''t help everyone, and I''m happy to listen to other ideas for evacuation. The short answer is that we''ll be as patient and empathetic as we can be while getting people out. Additionally, as we approach our deadline, we''ll necessarily have to end recruitment efforts to evacuate the people we''ve recruited, so even if someone does have trouble recruiting 10, they won''t be left behind; they just won''t get out early. Some of them, especially the children and others who might need special consideration, they''ll be brought into another not-place like this. One of my allies¡ªsort of, anyway¡ªhas an ethereal space like my Ship, but his is more like a commune. He''ll take in the children especially, but I''ll make sure he also accepts those others who need accommodation." "Parents aren''t going to be happy being separated from their children," Luke noted. "I know, and unless it''s necessary, we won''t force it on them," I answered. "Dependents can stick with their caregivers, even if the caregivers earn their exit. We''ll try to be flexible enough that we avoid any unnecessary cruelty." If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. "Why not just let minors and such use the exit right away," Luke pressed. "I''d really like to avoid a Lord of the Flies situation," I joked darkly. "In all seriousness, though, we don''t know what the world is like on the outside. Society was collapsing even before we got trapped in Forest Lake. Even if no time has passed, I don''t have faith that the country is in any kind of shape to suddenly help thousands, maybe tens of thousands of dependents with just a smattering of caregivers." "And you trust Hands enough to take care of a college-campus-worth of children?" Alice asked, fully engaged in the topic now that she''d finished her examination. "I think you probably know him better than me at this point; what do you think?" Alice thought for a second, biting her lip. "I don''t think he''d hurt them intentionally, but he''s also not fully human. Even if he were, that would be a lot of trust to give a stranger." "Again, I''m open to suggestions. This is what I''ve got so far, so this is where we''ll start. At this point, I''ve burned three weeks just getting this group together; no one has been rescued yet. If we don''t get started with an imperfect plan, I don''t think we''ll get started at all." "What about the Kaiju?" Luke asked. "You don''t want to even evacuate the area it destroys?" I sighed. "It''s not that I don''t want to help those people, but the price of helping them seems a lot higher than the price of leaving them be for now." "Everything in me tells me the opposite, that it''s important, maybe the most important thing ever," Luke said, holding my gaze. "Obero-no- Sam, I''m with Luke on this," Alice said, her own eyes looking distant, haunted. "I''ve been where they are, trapped and helpless. We have to try." My chest felt tight, my heart aching. "Of course, I''ve tried." My jaw clenched, anger filling my voice. "You think I haven''t tried? You know how many died rather than listen to a strange werewolf? People are terrified over there; there''s nothing I can do. I only make it worse. And then, the day restarts, and the only one who remembers the fear and the pain is me. How many times should I throw myself into that hell of powerlessness?" "It''s not all on you, man," Luke said, "We''re all here." "Cynthia, Franklin, Stan, Jamie, Dalia, all killed horribly," I shot back. "That''s brand new nightmare material for me, and we didn''t even get halfway there. Guess who gets to remember that with crystal clarity for the rest of his life and longer? Not you. For that matter, not the dead either." "You know it''s not that cut and dry, Oberon," Alice said, reverting to my apocalypse name after failing to garner the response she wanted by calling me Sam. "Even if they don''t remember it well, it''s unnerving to have partly-remembered traumas playing in the back of your head. There''s no way living through that isn''t creating more trauma monsters, too." "I know that," I said, exacerbated. "That''s just another thing that makes it too dangerous. The hospital was practically empty, but there were still monsters around every corner. It''s worse there, much worse. Give me time. Sori owes me magic lessons, and I can probably talk him into helping in other ways, too. I know from experience he can create shield generators the size of a quarter. In the meantime, we''ll build up our recruits. Either we''ll go in with an army, or we''ll go in with power. Just give me time." Luke blew out a breath, "Sorry, Oberon, I just can''t. I have to follow my instincts, and I know in my bones that''s the wrong call. Alice, Doctors, thanks for taking care of Craig. I think I need to go. Anyone who wants to come is invited; we''ll go to evacuate downtown." Alice stood up from Craig. "It''s not like there''s anything we can really do here. Being a doctor has become ''take these pain meds and wait'' even more than it already was. I''ll get you a few different painkillers, Craig, and we''ll get you out of the Ether, so you''ll heal when time resets." "One of us should stay with Craig¡ªunless you''re going to Oberon," Alejandra said, and everyone was standing or at least preparing to leave. "Get me a wheelchair, I''m coming with," Craig said. "That might be dangerous; you could end up trapped," Trevor said. "I''ll risk it. I''ve already seen hell today, twice. I won''t give in to it." Craig said. "You three should stay here," Alice said to Anderson, Jessica, and Maebe. "Just because the time loops make a joke out of being a doctor doesn''t mean people won''t come to the hospital looking for help." "It''s like you said," Anderson replied. "We''ll mostly just be giving them pain meds and making them comfortable. We might as well put morphine in a bowl at the front desk with a ''help yourself.'' sign." "Guys," I said. "I''m not doing this again. There are better ways." I tried to interject. Jessica flashed me a sad smile and looked away, stepping in beside Alice in silent support. "That''s fine, Oberon," Alice said, her form rippling so the sclera of her eyes blackened and feathers sprouted along her arms and in places around her head. "I can be their memory and their muscle." "Goddamn, if we got the Morrigan on our side, I guess I have to go." Maebe joked, but she clearly wasn''t taken aback by Alice''s appearance. Luke was another story. "The fuck you do that?" Surprisingly, Satoshi just nodded, "Hmm, another Yokai. Very well, I''ll come with you. We''ll gather our recruits from those with the most need." "I don''t know what that is, Satoshi, was it?" Alice said, "Either way, happy to have you along." In the next moment, her appearance returned to her human form. "Becoming a Rememberer has its perks, but it has its own risks as well. We can talk about it on the way. Oberon, you''re sure you won''t come?" It was every single ally I''d gained in the last months just walking away. I could go with them. They''d die, and probably soon, probably before evacuating a single person. I couldn''t change that by going with. Sighing, I shook my head. "I''m sorry. I want to, but this isn''t the right way. You''re all going to die pointlessly, and I guess that''s fine for you. I''ll check on you as I can. For what it''s worth, good luck." Alice bent down and picked up Criag like she was about to carry him across a threshold. She didn''t break eye contact or say another word. She just hefted him up like he weighed next to nothing, turned, and, together with Luke, led the group out of the Ether. I swore and knocked over the game of risk. I was going to have to start over. Time was running out. It might be time to do something desperate. 087 More Than A Bit Of Help I was still swearing internally as I left my Ethereal Domain. I understood why they''d all wanted to try to evacuate downtown; it was one of the first places I''d gone, too. The reality was that it was like evacuating people from one sinking ship to a different sinking ship. I needed help, and I just didn''t have it in me to start over today. It was tempting to go hang out with the Gremlins. Spending time with them was almost as good for my flagging spirit as a pile of puppies all looking for pets, but I couldn''t help but feel like time was slipping through my fingers. "Goddammit, Sori, where are you?" The floating Eye had been scarce since I''d regained control of my shadow, despite a promise that it''d teach me how to create visual illusions. It''d also made me single-use shield charms that would have come in handy several times, and I needed to get it to make me more as well as fill me in on any other capabilities that could be useful. I trusted Sori a lot less than I used to. Part of that, I assumed, was because it''d spent at least some of our time together using emotional glamors on me to make me friendlier. Even when I''d known that to be the case, I hadn''t been especially bothered by it until it strong-armed me, using Nia as a hostage. It had hurt, and it had undermined our relationship. In the absence of Sori, I could at least check in on Nia and Hands. Maybe Hands''d be willing to send some of his Dreamers out with me on a recruitment trip. He might even be willing to put an illusion on me. I might have been tricked into not learning illusions from anyone but Sori, but I could still benefit from them. Alice was still learning and could only place them on herself so far. Still, I knew from experience that Hands had more versatility with them, even if they weren''t always as convincing as they could be. If he put an illusion on me, I''d probably end up concealing an extra arm or a third nostril or something, but as long as I ended up looking mostly human, I wouldn''t complain. I didn''t know if Alice and company had immediately left or if they''d just gone elsewhere in the hospital to collect supplies. Either way, as I walked down the stairs to the first floor and walked through illusions of false walls and misleading doors, I didn''t see them again. When I walked into the Physical Therapy room, the pool churned with the motions of an albino Dolphin, a Dolphin I knew to have two human-looking arms growing out from the underside of its fins. "Hands," I greeted the Dolphin as he popped his head up from the water. Steve and Larry, his ever-present guards, watched me warily despite the fact that we''d met before and even spoken casually. "Guys," I added with a nod to them. They didn''t take their hands off their holstered guns, which I supposed was fair. I''d had casual conversations with them before, but I''d also been in a gunfight with them. I wasn''t carrying, but their caution wasn''t wholly without merit. A fit man wearing a pin-stripped business suit appeared standing between them, holding a small ornate glass of what looked like an amber liqueur. "Oberon," Hands said. "A surprise as always. To what do we owe the pleasure?" "Oh, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I''d check up on Nia and your other inhabitants," I answered nonchalantly. "The girl is fine; I can bring her out if I must. As for the others, they aren''t your concern or your business. I won''t be satisfying your every curiosity." The gentleman illusion said, taking a sip of his illusory alcohol. Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings. "Why not? You wouldn''t be hiding something, would you?" "I''m hiding many things, but you''re not so important that I''m hiding from you. Say instead that I''m not inclined to make myself subservient to your whims. But then, that''s not just me, is it? I hear you''re having some personnel issues." The Dolphin''s avatar answered smugly. I glared. I wasn''t sure how he''d already heard that. Unless Alice''s group had been talking openly about their plans and mine, where he might have heard, it had to just be a guess. Then again, I had no reason to think that their group would keep our disagreement quiet. Still, it seemed unlikely that would have happened in the scarce few minutes since we spoke. "I don''t know what you heard, but none of them are my slaves or my servants. They''re all free to do whatever they want." "Inconvenient, though, when you have such a looming deadline," Hands said. "Did you have a point?" I asked him. "Or are you just blowing smoke until Nia gets here?" "Why not be truthful about your needs? It''s clear the Eye hasn''t given you lessons in creating illusions; it''s equally as clear that your new recruits just joined and ran off with your old team, leaving you all alone." I opened my mouth to reply, and the illusory man held up a hand to forestall my objections. "It is, of course, possible that this was simply part of the plan, but I think we both know that''s not the case. Now, why not tell me why you''re really here. No, wait, let me guess. You want my help finding more loyal recruits." I considered dropping an emotional glamour on the Dolphin, but Sori had made that a more distasteful choice for me than it once was. I felt betrayed by him. Despite having always known he was manipulating my emotions, it wasn''t until I saw him use the illusion on Nia that I realized how insidious it could be. I''d used it only sparingly since. Still, Sori''s backup wasn''t exactly fully present, their minds mostly existing in a Dreamworld of Hands''s design; they wouldn''t be likely to notice if I dropped an emotional glamour on their dolphin boss. "I could use an illusion to make me less threatening, and yes, if you have a couple people who''d be willing to be my door-to-door salesmen, I could use the help," I told him. I didn''t fully trust Hands, but his motivations were clear and, at this point, all but obtained. He just wanted out of the city, and he held Nia as a guarantee that I''d uphold my part of the deal to abandon Forest Lake when my remaining 49 weeks were up. Even if I disliked his methods, I could understand his desire to escape, especially given his life spent in captivity and his trauma of being trapped and unable to escape as the vortex closed off the town right before his eyes. I could trust him to be true to that desire. Helping me evacuate people would only make it more likely I would stick to the agreed-upon deadline. He''d guessed enough as it was that a little honesty shouldn''t cost much. Hands''s illusion nodded. "I may be able to help. As it happens, you''re also in a position to do me a favor." My voice went hard and flat, that of a child''s or not. "You don''t say. And what exactly did you have in mind." "Don''t be so suspicious, Oberon. It''s nothing too onerous. As it happens, I know of a method that will allow you to share your thoughts and convictions with others while showing them yours. Anyone you recruit will know your earnest belief and reasoning, and you''ll understand their concerns, in turn, allowing for seamless teamwork." "That sounds like more than what I need. I''m not trying to mind control anyone." "What mind control? This is more like a melding of minds, from what I understand. Nobody will force you to use it, of course. Still, you should know it''s already being used by a dangerous creature close to downtown¡ª if outside the area immediately destroyed by the Kaiju. If you go take out the creature and his fledgling hive-mind, I''ll send a small group with you as support and defense, and even lay an illusion on you to help you avoid attention for a while. Of course, the further you get from me, the easier that illusion will be to see through, it likely wont last all the way to the hotel, but it should get you there unbothered." "Okay, and what''s your interest?" I asked suspiciously. Hands might be willing to help me out to be sure I stuck to the bargain, but if that''s all he wanted, he could just give me the help and illusion. "The gang of misfits you''ll be facing are holed up in a hotel with a large saltwater pool. I''m planning to relocate to somewhere with more room to breathe and more room for my Dreamers." Knowing Hands, that wasn''t all of it, but whatever other advantage he got could be a concern for tomorrow. "Fine, I''ll clear out the hotel pool for you" I said, "Put up your illusions and send some of your people with me if you want, but I''ll be handling things my way. Just tell me the hive mind you''re talking about isn''t Crowseph. I''m going to need more than a bit of help if it is." 088 A Little Bit Monster, A Little Bit Human I probably would have been more resistant to Hands leaving if Alice hadn''t just left herself. Hands had taken custody of Nia to use as leverage to keep me true to the deadline Sori gave me, but part of the agreement required him to let Alice have access to her sister. That would be a lot more challenging from the Filton half a mile away. Still, if Alice was going to leave the hospital anyway, I could hardly argue. More importantly, everyone Hands held in his Dreamland would be evacuated, so I was on board with him filling up the hotel with his Dreamers. It didn''t hurt that he had a soft spot for the helpless and had already agreed to house any children or otherwise dependent individuals. I wasn''t so trusting that I wouldn''t be keeping an eye on him, but I also wasn''t so flush with options that I could turn away his help. The six-story hotel was closer to the Kaiju epicenter than I liked, but it was still several blocks away. Then again, the Kaiju was never around long enough to affect anything more than the closest buildings to it. It had a brick and stucco exterior and long wings. There would be hundreds of beds available for Hands''s dreamers, and no reason to limit themselves to beds alone. I doubted the pool was saltwater, but Hands either didn''t care or had a plan to change that once he was in control of the building. I approached the hotel alone. Hands had offered to send some of his minions with me, almost insisted, and it was certainly tempting. The last hive-mind I''d faced would have easily killed me if Sori hadn''t made shield charms for the occasion. I didn''t have those this time, so it would make sense to have backup. However, between death and broken trust, death was the easier to recover from. Hands wanted to take over the hotel, and it suited my needs for him to do so. But that didn''t mean this new group needed to be ''dealt with'' in a mafia way. Depending on how their hive-mind worked, I might even be able to get them to join up. If I walked in and got ambushed and killed, well, it wouldn''t be the first time I''d paid that price. On the other hand, if I walked in and my borrowed crew attacked the Misfits to take their home, that could easily set the tone of all future reactions. That said, I wasn''t exactly walking in unarmed. I''d collected my shotgun stolen from the back of Jon''s patrol car and still wore the bulletproof vest. I wouldn''t start trouble, but I also didn''t want to look like an easy target. "Oh shit!" I heard a voice yelp from the reception desk as I stepped inside. I looked over just in time to see an empty office chair go rolling away. "Hello?" I said with my mismatched voice, peering over the edge of the desk, looking for whoever I''d startled. A skinny guy with glasses peaked out from under the desk. He had tawny brown mouse ears and sideburns that were more fur than hair, as well as a pointed and upturned nose with long whiskers sticking out like spaghetti noodles. He squeaked when he saw me looking and ducked back under the counter. "I don''t suppose you''re here to rent a room?" He asked in a muffled voice. A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. "More like the whole hotel. Though I understand it might already be booked." I said, amused at the guy''s behavior. Judging by his features and behavior, he was like Nia and Alice, having merged with his trauma without being overwhelmed by it. His survival instinct seemed out of place for a drone in a hive mind, which reassured me that I was right not to come in guns blazing. "The Baron is in control of the hotel. Trust me, you don''t want to bother him," Mouse-man said, "He does like to recruit tho, especially big guys like you. Someone''ll be out in a moment if that interests you." "Can I ask why you''re hiding? It sounds like you should be used to this kind of thing." "The Baron keeps me up here because I''m not as scary to people, and I''m not a challenge to most monsters. But he''s always watching, so if you start something, he''ll make you regret it." The last almost sounded like it was meant to be a threat, but I''d come in here ready to face another death if necessary, so it didn''t exactly land. "I take it your Baron is like us? A little bit monster, a little bit human?" The mouse snorted. "In my experience, that''s a pretty big spectrum. You show a lot more monster than he does, but I''d rather make you mad than him." "Well, hopefully, nobody needs to get mad. I''ve got things I need to talk to him about, though. Where can I find him?" Reality glitched. Everything stopped. A moment that never existed and lasted forever held my very breath motionless and sent my mind reeling. Without fanfare or expectation, the Mouse-man''s face changed. His face became more angular, and while his eyes held onto fear a moment longer, his mouth split in a wide grin of tiny pointed teeth. Then, the fearful eyes vanished, replaced by eyes glittering with eagerness. "Oh," a voice hissed from his mouth. "We have a guest; how exciting. And looking for me! I love it. Did you want to fight or fuck? Either way is fine with me big guy. In fact, both sounds fun, let''s do both." and then the no-longer-mouse-man scrabbled out from under the desk and, in a fluid motion climbed on top of it. I was still recovering from the sudden change and took an instinctual step back. The creepy thing advanced, launching itself off the top of the desk at my face. "Mother fu-" I started in surprise while trying to raise my shotgun up between myself and the ''Mr. Hyde'' that was suddenly leaping toward me. The Hyde grabbed my shotgun as he collided with me, and his form shifted again. His fingers became finger-like, and his body collapsed into himself with a squelching sound. By the time his weight struck me, he had changed forms completely and looked something like the Gremlins, though I didn''t have time to take in the details. Paw-hands still gripping the gun, the Hyde''s feet struck my chest and kicked off, propelling the creature away from me and tearing the weapon from my grip. Long ears whooshed past my face as a bunny-shaped Gremlin-creature backflipped off of me, dropping the gun mid-air as it did. When it landed, it was once again generally human-shaped, with the same Hyde face as before. He ran a tongue over his tiny and jagged teeth. My eyes tracked him as I backpedaled to put a wall at my back. Last thing I needed was someone sneaking up from behind. "Hey, now, I''m just here to talk." "Oh, but that''ll be so much easier when you join us. Come on now, if you don''t put up a fight, it won''t be as fun!" 089 Ive Brought Some Friends This wasn''t my first monster fight. I have often exercised my right to bear arms, and to carry guns. In the early days, I was at a disadvantage using only blunt weapons¡ªthat disadvantage being that I''d end up completely gore-covered. I''d used an ax for a bit, and it was cleaner in some ways and worse in other ways. The gore didn''t always end up on me, but it always ended up somewhere. The same was true with guns, except that the ''somewhere'' was almost never on me, and even more importantly, the danger to me was significantly reduced. Then again, it was no surprise to me that guns made killing easier. That was their primary function. With a flick of a finger, I disengaged the safety, raised the shotgun to my shoulder, and pointed it at the shifting creature, "Well, if you really want to play, I''m happy to oblige. Personally, I''d much rather have a conversation. Your cal-" The mouse-man-turned-Hyde grinned wider just before leaping toward me. I pulled the trigger, and the mouse-man took a shotgun blast to the chest. "Shit," I swore, though my words were lost to the echo of the blast and the ringing in my ears. I spun around to check out the front entrance of the lobby. The concrete building would muffle some of the sound, but I doubted these glass windows would dampen much, so the concrete walls might end up funneling the sound right out the main doors. As much as I hated the idea of everyone carrying a gun, I couldn''t deny that they were effective tools against some individual monsters. Oddly enough, it was my pacifism that led me to use the shotgun more often than not, even in situations like these¡ªespecially in situations like these, really. Of course, the disadvantages couldn''t be ignored, the main one being the noise drawing the attention of other monsters. We were only steps inside the front lobby of the hotel; the noise would undoubtedly carry out past the courtyard, and whether or not there were monsters close enough to matter was always the risk. It was also the main reason I hadn''t used one with the bar crew. For their sakes, I''d kept it quiet in the hopes we''d avoid attention, not that it had worked. In most situations, the shotgun let me end a fight with few lasting effects across the time loops¡ªnot none, but it was better than being beaten to death with a bat or hacked to death with an axe. It was still violent, but that seemed unavoidable without more sacrifice than I was willing to accept. My eyes scanned for movement as I reloaded, but when it came, it came from behind me. With my ears still ringing, a reflection in the glass was my only warning. I spun around to see handfuls of monsters streaming into the room from the three wings. "I''m just here to talk," I said again, without taking my aim from them. Between that and the dead mouse-man at my feet, that could be a hard sell. Still, I at least avoided looking like an easy target. For one reason or another, they did slow their advance as the separate handfuls of people joined together into a unified front. There were more than a dozen in all, and among them, I saw the pointed-toothed smile of the Hyde, their form flickering from one body to another in the span of a heartbeat. "You want to talk, but I want to play; and look, I''ve brought some friends." The creature said, and for an instant, every face in front of me split into identical sharp smiles of tiny pointed teeth. This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. "Fuck ''em, boys," the Hyde said. Presumably, it was a figure of speech since his mob wasn''t all male let alone human. Then again, as a hive mind, he shouldn''t even need to speak, so it could be a misdirect or distraction. Either way, the group immediately charged in to attack, and the semantics stopped mattering. If any of them had had guns, I would have died almost immediately. Instead, like the bar crew, they carried a hodgepodge mix of found weapons like crowbars and fireman''s axes, as well as make-shift clubs like stool legs and broom handles. Two held pillowcases filled with something, probably rocks. Others were empty-handed, apparently choosing instead to rely on their claws or teeth. It was these last that clued me into something I hadn''t registered yet. The Hyde''s monsters weren''t a single type like Crowseph''s swarm. Some were hybrids like the mouse-man and Nia. Others were more animalistic, like Hands and Crowseph. One big guy was a dead ringer for Smokey Bear if Smokey was a black bear who''d lost his hat and had too-human-looking eyes. Its green eyes and long black lashes would have fit better on a stereotypical redhead, even if they did glare with abject rage. As the inbound monsters merged and charged toward me as one, I even saw monsters that reminded me of the Gremlins; two of them at the back grew into giant forms and hunkered down to guard the passageways further into the hotel. Hopefully, that meant that they wouldn''t be getting any more reinforcements. The next moments were a blood bath. I only had so many shells, which I supposed was the other drawback of the weapon. Fortunately, I''d come in expecting a fight, and I''d long since started stocking up ammo in my shadow. Of course, anything I used now would have to be restocked manually in the next loop, but I wouldn''t go down easily if I went down at all. The Hyde flickered away from my first blast, replaced by some reptilian humanoid that was torn apart by my near-point-blank shot. Elsewhere in the group, the Hyde emerged from a gremlin-like form. Rather than be distracted by it, I instead aimed at the next nearest threat and fired again. I backed up as I used my second shot, and it gave me a chance to do a quick reload. It was long moments of shotgun blasts and cries of rage and pain from my attackers. They charged as a group, but every time I took out the lead attacker, they lost a step while their hierarchy was reestablished. Or maybe they were just torn between their attacks and the unsettling carnage I was administering to them one shell at a time. It was a futile attempt, and if I was really holding onto my pacifist ideals as much as I wanted to pretend, I should be quicker to retreat and less defensive of my own immortal life. Instead, my frustration at this default response made me want to punish them, to take as many with me as I could. My back hit the glass as I loaded new shells, and by reflex, I glanced over my shoulder. Sure enough, some behemoth was charging down the street right towards us. It was comparable in size to the Gremlins in their giant form, if another shape entirely. A familiar shape, if one I couldn''t quite place, it had teeth and claws and splotchy fur, as though it had mange, and the white and black coloring common on a lot of monsters. I was too distracted by the people running in front of it to focus too much on its appearance. Luke, Alice, and my other allies were in a dead-on sprint from the behemoth. A second glance confirmed that it was a smaller form of the Kaiju, and it was right on their heels. I turned back to my immediate threat and was surprised to see them retreating. They weren''t just falling back; they were vanishing like roaches before a light. Behind me, the behemoth roared, and indecision overtook me. If that behemoth was the Kaiju, it wouldn''t go down easy. But if it did go down and if we collected its memory crystal, we might be able to keep it from coming back. Without that threat, we could focus on evacuating the town one bit at a time. Swearing again, I stepped back out of the hotel lobby and began to circle around my fleeing allies. 090 What A Shit Day The glass door slid closed behind me; the Hyde''s collective had scattered completely. The bloodbath I''d put them through had barely phased them, which wasn''t much of a surprise. The entire group likely remembered the loops and were unconcerned with death, something I could relate to. It reminded me of being a kid and playing first-person shooters with Jon. Neither of our parents had been especially fond of the violent games, but we made the argument that nobody was dying; they were just being ''transported to a new location.'' At the time, we''d laughed at our parents''s gullibility. Thinking back on it¡ªespecially after spending time in a world where death wasn''t permanent¡ª that argument felt more and more valid. It was also the argument that made me prefer guns. Death used to take lives, to steal potential, but that was hardly a consideration anymore. Pain and misery were the moral boundaries, not life and death. In some ways, it had always been that way. None of which told me why the appearance of the future-Kaiju had sent the Misfits scattering. I doubted my allies were intentionally bringing the future Kaiju to me. The fact that they were made me question the coincidence, though. There was no reason they should even know I was here. As I left the hotel and circled around the retreating group, I saw that they weren''t alone; half a dozen deputies ran with them, divided so a few were on either side of the street, taking turns shooting the pursuing monster. It redeemed the deputies slightly in my eyes. Some of them were directly responsible for killing a couple of my allies, likely in a panic. This group, at least, seemed to be able to keep their cool while being chased by that behemoth. If we were lucky, this wasn''t really the future Kaiju, just a look-alike, but I worried that it was like the Gremlins, and this was just its smaller form. If it could grow several times as large at will, if it could become the Kaiju whenever it chose, we were all screwed. I had to hope it could only change size when a condition was met, a time was reached, or something. Either way, I had no idea what could have brought my allies unknowingly toward me. I almost wondered if Sori wasn''t playing games again. I wouldn''t put it past him, but I''d try to reserve judgment for now. It was possible things just went wrong, and they were genuinely on the run in a coincidentally convenient direction. A quick head count of my allies told me they''d all survived so far; even Craig''s wheelchair was being pushed along by Anderson. Still, I didn''t think that would last much longer if the creature wasn''t slowed down or distracted. I loaded my shotgun as I hurried to flank the monster chasing my allies, but I kept an eye out for the Hyde or some of his Misfits in case of a sneak attack. The look in the Hyde''s eyes felt obsessive, and I wasn''t willing to accept the vanishing act as a true retreat. I''d seen that look before, mostly from guys who took rejection as an obstacle to overcome. I could be wrong, but the Hyde gave me that same feeling, and I was sure he''d come after me, even if I tried to leave him be. Which was fine because I didn''t plan to leave him be. He was psychotic, but I doubted that was true for everyone he was controlling. The next time we met, I''d happily try to break that control. First, I had to give my friends a chance to escape the consequences of their terrible decisions. The behemoth shook the ground as it ran behind them on all fours; I felt the vibrations in the pads of my paw-feet as I circled behind the chase. I was a little surprised my allies hadn''t been immediately overrun, but it seemed like the behemoth wasn''t much faster than a running man, even at 20 or 30 feet tall. The vibrations in the ground suggested it was heavy enough that it probably took buckets of energy to keep up any consistent pace. Still, it was moments from closing that distance, and I wasn''t yet close enough to do anything about it. Gunfire rang out, echoing against buildings and drawing my eyes to the deputies keeping pace ahead of the future-Kaiju. Their gunfire distracted the behemoth, and it shook its head, slowing for a moment and swiping a paw at the lawmen. The deputies on the other side of the street fired their own guns, and the proto-Kaiju whirled on the new threat, lashing out at the other deputies. Still, it had slowed to shake off the stings of the pistol fire, and they were all out of its reach, if in more danger than my allies. Luke turned back, slowing his pace a little, and shot the creature several times with his own gun, drawing the monster''s attention away from the deputies. As a whole, they''d gained some ground on the Kaiju, but as it refocused on my friends, it quickly began reducing the distance again. They could split up and let one group draw away the Kaiju, but at this rate, someone was going to get caught when someone ran out of bullets, if not sooner. Even if they did manage to get away, the gunfire would be drawing in other monsters, too, or so I assumed. There was a distinct lack of other monsters in this chase, but I knew how quickly that could change. Still, I wouldn''t look a gift horse in the mouth; there wouldn''t be a better chance to act. I had a hope that my shotgun would be more effective than the defenders''s pea shooters, mostly because I had a few slug shells that I was sure wouldn''t tickle. I''d come across them while looting cars, but I hadn''t had a reason to use them over the buckshot. I wasn''t exactly a sharpshooter¡ªespecially with adrenaline coursing through my system¡ªbut even this baby Kaiju would be hard to miss. I ducked down an alley and hid behind a dumpster while the pursuit passed by. I didn''t want the creature to know I was here until I was unloading into the back of its knees. When the massive beast rumbled by my hiding spot, shaking the ground as it did, I took a deep breath and ran after it. Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. It had been hard to tell when we''d been running toward each other, but as I chased after them, I realized that nobody was jogging; they were full-on running. I was faster and stronger as a monster than I had been as a human, but not so much so that I''d be able to aim very well while chasing them. I''d have to wait for the deputies to initiate the next distraction. I could only hope they hadn''t run out of ammo yet. Thankfully, I didn''t have to wait long for my opportunity. The Kaiju didn''t give them much choice, gaining ground as it was. The three deputies on the right side of the street called something out, and then¡ªone at a time and one after another¡ª they stepped into a shooter''s stance and fired several times each. The Kaiju roared in anger or frustration and swiped at its own face before lunging at the deputies. When it did, the deputies on the left pulled the same maneuver in an impressive display of coordination. Not to be outdone, I got as close as I could, aimed the shotgun at the back of one knee, and pulled the trigger. The gun and future Kaiju both roared, and gore erupted from the wound. My weapon bucked, and the monster spun; I didn''t get my second shot off. As it swiped wildly in my direction, I rolled out of the way. At least I''d gotten its attention. I''d naively hoped to take out both knees, but it hadn''t spent any time confused about where the pain was coming from; it just reacted. Still, a slug to the back of even one knee seemed to have done damage¡ªI was curious to see how it would feel about one to the eye. Rolling to my feet, I tried to line up a shot, but one of its massive paws immediately struck me like a truck and sent me flying across the street. The world was a topsy-turvy spin for long moments, and it wasn''t until I finished rolling across the cement that I even felt the strike, let alone hitting the ground. Coughing, I groaned and felt around for my shotgun. "Sam!" I heard Alice yell, fear in her voice. I glanced up to see that most of my allies and the deputies were still running, but Alice had stopped; a single deputy stopped with her but was clearly trying to pull her along. Alice had monster strength, however, and she wasn''t budged. I could see the behemoth slowly approaching from the corner of my eye, but my gaze stayed on Alice rather than the coming end. She closed her eyes, and her mouth started to move; whether in prayer or spell or simple pneumonic device, I didn''t know. She held up her hands, and a mirror of the proto-kaiju appeared. The monster had been bearing down on me, but when the illusion popped up, its head whipped around to stare, quivering. Its nose sniffled at the air, and its breathing sped up. Its eyes, though, darted around and narrowed. Something was wrong; it wasn''t fooled. I opened my mouth to shout out a warning. Nothing came out. My voice¡ªNia''s voice¡ªcompletely failed me. The monster dove through Alice''s illusion, his maw slamming shut mercilessly on Alice''s torso. She screamed, and adrenaline coursed through me. I threw myself to my feet, ignoring my body''s protestations and grabbing my gun from the ground as I half-sprinted half-hobbled toward the front of the creature; I''d have only one shot. I raised my gun up to aim for the behemoth''s eye. The deputy that had hung back with Alice had been knocked aside when the behemoth attacked. The fall must have disoriented them, or maybe I was just the first thing they saw when they looked up. Either way, before I could take my shot, they took theirs. A series of impacts crashed against my back, my vest stopping the bullets from penetrating, but not from acting like repeated hammer strikes. Disoriented, I stumbled forward, the breath knocked from my lungs. I shook my head in an attempt to clear my vision in time and refocused on the soon-to-be Kaiju''s head. Unfortunately, while I''d been distracted, it had finished its attack, and Alice''s head had vanished into its mouth. I pulled the trigger anyway, but it made no difference. Whether it was Alice''s illusion, her death, or even my own attacks, the simple two-story tall creature was suddenly dwarfed by the full grown Kaiju standing over me, roaring it''s early arrival to the town. I collapsed to my knees, and for a second, I thought it was an involuntary sign of resignation. Only when I coughed up blood did I realize one of the bullets had taken me in my neck, and I was bleeding out. I swore internally, unable to speak. What a shit day 091 Going Back On The Deal I woke up lying on a familiar cot, half-covered in a throw blanket. Neither were mine, and both were too small for a 7-foot-tall werewolf. If I''d really spent the night that way, I''d have woken up cold and uncomfortable, probably with a crick in my neck or back. I hadn''t, though. In a way, I''d just lain down. I''d wanted the time loops to feel less like starting over, so I''d set my spawn point to make it seem more like I was waking up to start the day new. Sure, it was early afternoon outside, so it still felt a bit odd, but it wouldn''t be the first time I''d slept past noon. Groaning, I sat up and brought my bare legs¡ªapart from the fur¡ª down and leaned forward to rub my hands over my face, massaging imaginary sleep from my eyes and real frustration from my temples. Standing, I picked up my pants off the cot. I''d taken them off to make for a more normal waking routine, but I''d had to drape them over me so that they shared my spawn point. I''d given the bulletproof vest and shotgun the same treatment. It would have been a truly terrible sleep, but it made for a quick morning at least. As I slipped on my black scrub pants, I looked around the art studio I''d claimed as a spawn point. I didn''t know if it had been abandoned or if the apocalypse had just kept the owner too busy to come paint; either way, no one was around. I didn''t do as much with paints as I did with ink and digital tools, but the space was still filled with familiar tools and quirky odds and ends that appealed to me. It felt like home, so I''d decided to claim it as one. At one point, I''d actually gone home to the apartment I shared with Jon, but it was painful. Our apartment, like Jon himself, seemed out of reach, like something that couldn''t really be returned to. I knew when I left with him at the start of everything, back when we thought we''d be joining his parents at their cabin, that there was no going back to how things were. Visiting our home had been nostalgic but empty. I hadn''t given up on getting Jon on my side, but I couldn''t prioritize that relationship. So I''d left our apartment and looked for somewhere else to use as a safe spawn. This place was directly above a coffee shop I''d broken into one loop. I''d planned on using the shop itself as a starting point, but when making sure it wasn''t full of monsters, I''d discovered this space and decided to use it instead. The tenets were either associated with the cafe below, or had a good relationship with them, because they had the same coffee and even a few bottles of syrup used by the shop. I tended to drink black coffee more often than not, but it was nice having the option. Playing further into the morning routine, I brewed a pot of coffee and doodled in a notebook as I waited for it to percolate. As I did, I thought back on the events of the previous loop while deciding what I would do next. Luke and his crew would be back in their starting positions. Most, if not all, would make their way back to Luke''s bar. Craig would be facing his nightmare again, and the bunny monster would be spawned again. Potentially bigger. Last loop, it had plowed directly through the entrance to the bar. If it was growing each loop, it was doing so slow enough that it was hard to be sure. I also didn''t have an explanation for why. The Kaiju had also had a growth spurt. Still, its growth was quick and not wholly unexpected since its appearance always came suddenly. If the size changes were related, I didn''t know how. The Gremlins likewise could change their size, but that didn''t seem to be the same as the bunny monster. It could be the same as the Kaiju, though. I''d have to add it to the list of things I needed to talk to Sori about. I went to scribble the words ''size change?'' at the top of my notebook. It wouldn''t last past a single loop, but just writing it down would act as a reminder later. Unfortunately, as I started trying to write the letters, my mind went blank. The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. I couldn''t remember how to write. Then I remembered my inability to shout a warning to Alice. I opened my mouth experimentally to say something, anything, but no words came to mind, or at least no sounds. I groaned again in frustration. I''d been here before. Sori and Hands had taken Nia as a hostage against my good behavior, but Sori had also used her to give me a voice. Before that, I''d been more than mute; I''d been utterly unable to communicate consistently. Something must have changed; Nia''s loaned voice was gone. I''d wanted to enjoy a cup of coffee before I jumped into the day, but if my voice wasn''t back after a day reset, then whatever happened hadn''t been reset. It meant something might have happened to Nia. Alternatively, something might have happened to Sori, and I didn''t know which to hope for. It felt like choosing between hoping for tragedy and hoping for disaster. I reached out to my Shadow and raised it up into a portal. Whatever had happened, gathering information was my best bet. Sori had been ignoring me for a while, but with this, I should be able to leverage our deal to make it act. Of course, if something had happened to the eye, it wouldn''t show up anyway. If this didn''t work, I''d have to go back to the hospital and talk to Hands again, wasting even more time that I really didn''t have. I couldn''t speak out in the real world, but as I stepped into my Shadow, that changed. "Sori, goddamit. My voice is gone. If you''re going back on the deal, you and Hands can forget about me sticking to my end." I waited, my breath held prisoner in my lungs as I waited for something to happen. I stayed in my Shadow Alcove rather than going deeper into the Ether because it seemed to be the Shadow that Sori had the strongest connection with. After several seconds, nothing happened. "Sori, you mother fucker. How am I supposed to get anybody evacuated if I can''t even speak? You''re breaking the contract. Doesn''t that ma-" "Shit, Sam, you''re an annoying one. Why do you have to worry about every little thing?" Sori said, its voice coming from thin air. My eyes flicked to the empty space and spotted a speck of silver glinting in the dark. The speck swiftly grew into a sphere the size of a beach ball, a chrome orb with impressed details that made it look like an eye. "For fuck''s sake Sori, finally. You''ve been ignoring me." "It''s the end of the world, Sam. I''ve been a bit busy." Sori said. "YOU SCHEDULED IT!" I snapped back in disbelief at the comment. "Sure, but I didn''t know I''d be dealing with you the whole time. ''Sori, save me. Sori, save my friends. Sori, why can''t I talk, me me me,''" The eye mocked. "That''s what you sound like. You realize that it''s not all about you, right Sam? I''ve got a life, too." I could tell he wanted me to ask him about that, but I wasn''t about to be distracted, at least not quite that easily. "You also made deals. And now you''re going back on your word." Sori gagged. "You mean your voice problem? I know, I know. God, I forgot how hard you were to decipher without a voice to use. It''s like interpreting for an actual dog." "What happened?" I asked, continuing to ignore his efforts to distract me. "I wasn''t able to shout a warning to Alice last loop, and now I can''t speak at all outside of this ether space." "You can''t speak in the ether space either. You''ve just confidently saying gibberish and convincing yourself they''re real words." Sori grumbled as though it were somehow my own fault. He''d told me this before, that I wasn''t actually speaking here, but to my own ears, everything sounded fine, so I had to take him at his word. "Did something happen to Nia?" I pressed. "If you or Hands did something, you can count our deal as forfeit. I think you know that." "Well, first off, no. That''s not how it works. Nia was never a part of the deal, at least not as anything more than leverage to make you take it seriously¡ªand as a way to give you a voice, I suppose. The deal was that I''d give you a year to evacuate people, and if you didn''t, your memories and your body were the payment. Nia''s safety was a perk when she was locked up at the exit. That wasn''t enough for you, so Hands took her in as further leverage for your cooperation, but her safety wasn''t really part of the deal. I suppose if Hands has lost her, we''ve lost a little leverage, but only a small bit. There are tens of thousands of children in town that still need evacuating. Should I choose a new hostage?" My blood was boiling. "You think I''ll keep doing what you want while you disregard the lives of innocents over and over?" Sori sighed, "Man, you were a lot more fun to deal with before you decided we were enemies. Remember the fun times we had speculating about my history? Let''s go back to that. To answer your question. Nia is fine. She just... ran away from home." "Explain," I said, trying to sound stern, though I doubted intimidation would really work on the eye. "Damn, I will if you''ll just give me a second. You might as well have some of that coffee. It won''t help you relax, but maybe it''ll help you calm down for a minute while I explain. Besides, I guess I don''t have a choice but to show you how to do illusions now, you lucky dog. I was going to save this as a game change later on, but nobody''s going to listen to you looking like that if you can''t even talk. But what am I saying? You know that. Have a seat and drink your coffee, and by the time I''m finished, you''ll be able to do some cool shit, as the kids say." 092 Your End Of The Bargain I wasn''t especially interested in letting Sori milk the situation for control, but he was right that his bullshit would go down easier with some coffee. Still, I wouldn''t be able to speak outside the Shadow Alcove, so it could wait. "I can''t help but notice you aren''t going for coffee, or sitting down," Sori said. "Fine, it''s your heart disease. To begin with: yes, I''m sure Nia''s fine. The loop just started; of course, she''s fine, I assume. Like I said, she just ran away from home." "Do you know that, or are you just ''sure'' of that?" I asked sardonically. "Bah, Kids are always running away from home, usually to grandma''s or the neighbors. You worry too much. And it doesn''t matter anyway, because she wasn''t really part of the deal. You decided that yourself when you took her out of line for the exit." ''We''ll see if Hands feels the same," I said with a shrug, as though it didn''t matter to me. "You two are working together to lock me into the time frame. But I''m not feeling especially cooperative at the moment." "You''re saying that like it''s a threat, but if you don''t cooperate, it just means I''ll have to wipe the town clean. Neither of us wants that. Now, do you want to learn illusions or not? Don''t forget we''re in a time loop. There''s no amount of trouble Nia can get into that you can''t get her out of later. Well, mostly. That''s not a challenge. Don''t test that. But in this case, it''s probably true." "And if Nia is stuck in some nightmare loop?" I pressed. "Then do you really want her in this place any longer than she has to be? Isn''t that all the more reason to escape ASAP?" I was annoyed, worried, and resigned. I didn''t have the leverage I needed to bargain for more time. Besides, he was right about the illusions. It was annoying he hadn''t shown me how to do this sooner. "I tell you what, if you can''t convince people to listen to and trust you easier like this, I wont count any loop until you get your voice back. But I think we both know illusions will be more effective than trying to recruit people while looking like the big bad wolf and talking like you swallowed Little Red Riding Hood whole." "Fine," I said. "I don''t like it, and I''m holding you responsible for anything that happens to Nia. I''ll grab some coffee, and we can go into the Ether. Sori snorted, "Why? Do you want to destabilize the whole space? You realize a stone pirate ship would just sink, right? Do you really want to go mucking about with the physics of that place?" "I thought we were just creating illusions," I asked, confused. "And what do you think the Ether is? Brick and mortar reality? It''s a liminal space. Am I using that right? Liminal. It has nothing to do with limes. Probably." Sori said uncertainly. "Is eating a lime a transcendent experience? I''ve never had one. Someone has never offered." It said accusatorily. "I have no idea. About the liminal space thing, not the limes. How would you even eat one, you don''t have a mouth." Sori snorted again. "I don''t have a nose either, but I can still snort. You''re thinking is so linear." I gave the eye a flat look, "You mean where I expect one thing to follow another, sort of like cause and effect? Yeah, I guess it is. What a shortcoming, to rely on reason and rational and not random guesswork." I said sarcastically. "At least we''re agreed on that," Sori said primly. "Anyway, no, we won''t be practicing the illusions in the Ether. "That''s where Hands teaches it," I countered, stepping out into the art studio. The coffee was finished percolating, and the smell had become too much to ignore. "Hands is a dolphin. He cheats." Sori replied unconcernedly, waiting for me to pour myself a cup of coffee. "You''re not going to offer me any of that coffee either, are you. Some host you are, it''s not even your coffee." Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit. I sighed in exasperation and held the pot of coffee in his direction. Humoring him could be dangerous, but ignoring him was exhausting. "I''m an eye, Sam; how am I going to drink it?" Sori scoffed, smug cheekiness oozing off him. Shaking my head, I replaced the pot and walked back into the Shadow Alcove. "I fucking hate you. Are we doing this or not. By which I mean, I''m about to just go get lessons from Hands." "What? Nooo, you can''t, you promised." Sori said, sounding wounded and somehow giving me the puppy dog look despite being an eye. It was almost certainly a return of the emotional glamours he''d taught me previously. I wasn''t moved. "Well, hold up your end of the bargain, or don''t expect me to hold up mine." "Fine, geez. I just thought you might want to savor learning magic from a wise, all-knowing eye." I gave it a few nonplussed blinks and took a sip of my coffee, not deigning to reply. "Right then," Sori said. "Moving right into it. First, visualize what you want to create. Hands showed you how to create visualizations and store them in the memory crystals, right? Well, he developed that using the illusion techniques I taught him. Well, my techniques and his natural spatial skills from being a dolphin. "Then, remember what it was like to make a trapped crystal? It''s kind of like that, too, except you''re going to do that to whatever space you want the illusion to occupy. Just, sort of, reach out¡ª use your hand if you want; it might help until you get the hang of it. Expect to see what you''re trying to see. "Hold reality at bay with your mind as you convince yourself you can see the illusion. You''ll have to hold it in place, just like the trapped memory crystals; the world will want to return its appearance to how it was. It''ll get easier to hold up with practice, but it''ll always be more effort than having no illusion. I assume. I''ve never actually shown anyone how to do this; I mean, if you don''t count hands, and you shouldn''t because he doesn''t do it quite the same. I mean, obviously. He''s a dolphin. Why aren''t you getting that?" "So, can I do this in here, or is that going to cause issues too?" I asked, gesturing around at the Shadow Alcove. "Sam, I don''t know how to be clearer. Don''t create illusions in dreams, you could lose your very grip on reality," The eye said, rotating back and forth as though shaking its head in disappointment. After a few seconds, it didn''t elaborate, and I pressed. "Why is it ok for Hands but not me?" "Hands is a Dolphin. Dolphins use sound. You are a human; you use light. Do you see the difference?" "No? Or at least, I don''t understand why it matters." "Well, for one, Dolphins can recreate things they''ve ''seen'' with echolocation," Sori bobbed up and down as it said ''seen,'' somehow giving the impression of making air quotes. "If you could naturally communicate by recreating the subjective experiences you''ve seen too, you might be less gullible, less confused about reality vs dreams. But that''s not the world we live in, is it?" "So, like, pictures?" I countered. "No, Sam, not pictures. I mean evolved image generation with spacial reasoning innate to your brain." "I mean, humans have been doing cave paintings for tens of thousands of years, maybe more; I''m not an expert." "And yet you''re all still so eager to believe anything you see, as though nobody could ever fool you. Besides, humans have also died because they forgot to eat while playing video games, so don''t act like you can''t get trapped by your own willingness to buy into a delusion." "Ok, ok, whatever, it doesn''t matter. Just get back to the lesson. I''ll try not to let my limited brain slow me down." I stepped out of the Shadow Alcove, and Sori followed. I left the portal open, though, because closing it would mean losing my voice, and Sori was already insufferable enough. I decided I''d start simple with the illusion. There was an easel set up in the middle of the studio facing a small table with fruit sitting on it. There was a blank canvas in place on the easel, with just a few pencil marks making the beginning stages of the painting. I''d both drawn and painted enough fruit over the years that it shouldn''t be a difficult warm up. "The trick with the illusions is to understand the space you''re trying to change is just one thing. I mean, it''s not; nothing is, but if you pretend it''s one thing, you can change the entire thing as a whole. At least visually. Don''t expect to literally go around changing reality. Except you do kind of have to pretend like you can. You can''t really change anything, but you can appear to. A pseudo-change, sort of. Anyway, just don''t try to walk on illusory stairs or anything. Or do; that could be funny." 093 I Didnt Learn A Thing "Alright, this time, I want you to focus on the dumpster down there," Sori said, and I looked around, confused. I was standing in front of my Shadow on the flat roof of the cafe with the upstairs art studio, but for some reason, I thought we were still in the art studio. The blank canvas I''d created the illusory painting on was once again blank. It was feet away, leaning against the ledge surrounding the roof. I could remember that we came outside, but only when I really thought about it. I''d forgotten why, though¡ªand when. It felt like a while ago. I stepped back into the Shadow Alcove so I could speak. "What do you mean ''this time?'' Did I miss something?" I asked. I''d cast a single illusion on that canvas, and then Sori brought me out here. Lost in my own fantasies of illusions, I must not have been paying attention to my surroundings or to my first illusion. I''d been confused often enough in the last few weeks that rolling with the punches was becoming almost automatic, "What should I do, Graffiti?" "Do something bigger; make it look like a large sleeping bear. Make it breath; oh, and stick close to your Shadow and get ready to run." "Shit, are illusions dangerous?" I asked, hesitating. "Are illusions dangerous? What kind of question is that? Of course, they''re dangerous; what would be the point otherwise?" Sori scoffed. I shot him as deadpan a look as my wolfish features could manage. "I meant to the caster." "Oh, well, yeah. That''ll seem obvious in a second, too. Well, not a second, but like ten-ish minutes," Sori said, "if you ever step out of the Shadow and cast it anyway." "I mean, give me a second. I''ve done this once, and it was smaller and unmoving." I said. "I need to plan this out." "You''re thinking about it too hard. You know how to do this. Just do it," Sori pressed. I shrugged and stepped from the Alcove as I pictured a sleeping bear curled up, centered on the dumpster. The dumpster was as solid an object as I could ask for, so conceptualizing it as a single thing was especially easy. Instinctively, I squinted my eyes to blur my vision while focusing on overlaying my illusory bear. To my surprise, I found Sori was right, and I did apparently have an innate understanding of what to do. I was even able to create an animated loop of the bear breathing in and out, its fur rustling slightly, if predictably, in an imaginary wind. It looked good, too good. I found myself stepping back into the Shadow suspiciously. "I don''t understand," I said. "How did I do that? It was like I''d done it a hundred times." "Sure, that sounds about right. I mean, I haven''t counted, but it wouldn''t surprise me." "What do you mean?" "We''ll talk about it in a bit; I don''t want to repeat myself." Sori basically ignored me for the next several minutes, leaving me trying to piece things together. I''d gotten confused about where we were, and creating the moving illusion of the sleeping bear had come far easier than creating the illusion of a simple painting. If anything, the painting was a more familiar exercise that should have been easier. Still, I''d found myself struggling to imprint all the details onto the canvas. Finally, Sori bobbed up and down. "Here they come. Hopefully, this works this time," he said, his voice not sounding very hopeful. "What are we looking at?" I asked, trying to figure out where the single eye was pointed. It didn''t help that he didn''t seem bothered by the haze that filled my vision. "Um, the glowing things?" Sori said, speaking like I was an idiot. It took a few seconds, but eventually, I was able to see the moving lights in the distance through the fog. "What are they?" I asked "You''ve seen them before," Sori said. For a second, I thought I was missing memories, but then they came close enough that their undulation became apparent. A spike of fear shot through me. "The light webs," I said, my voice hushed as I recalled the one time I''d seen them. Glowing gossamer webs, looking like patterns of light dappling the bottom of a pool¡ª or, in this case, suspended mid-air¡ªhovered across the sky toward us. I''d watched them shove spikes of energy into Nia and Jon''s heads before doing the same to me. It was my first death. I''d faced enough other horrors¡ª and had little enough sleep at all since then¡ªthat they hadn''t exactly been featured in my nightmares. Still, seeing them now sent my blood running cold and my paw hands trembling. "Time to run?" I asked, looking over my shoulder to make sure my Shadow was still open. "Not yet; you need to see something first," Sori said, a solemnity I didn''t like in his voice. Three of the webs closed in on us, and I was considering fleeing into my Shadow, whatever Sori said. I didn''t understand fully where the fear came from. I didn''t even remember actually dying that time. It was far from my worst death. I''d barely even thought about it since I realized we were in a time loop. There were some questions about my identity tied up in those events. Still, those were uncomfortable ideas for me, not horrifying ones. "Calm down, they haven''t noticed you yet. Just your illusion. You''re not still holding it active, right?" Sori asked. I wasn''t; the illusion had replaced the reality of the appearance of the dumpster in some way I didn''t understand. "No, it''s freestanding," I whispered in reply, afraid to speak too loudly and draw their attention. Sori was right about this, too, however. They weren''t interested in me. Instead, they were being drawn to my illusion. If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. "''Light Webs,'' ''Wisps,'' ''Reality Drones,'' it doesn''t matter what you call them. These guys don''t like it when people like you start messing around with reality, even if it''s just in appearance. It was just over seven minutes from the time you made the illusion to the time they showed up. Remember that benchmark. You had slightly longer when you had the illusion on yourself, but still only about 10 minutes." "Wait, when was this?" I asked, tearing my eyes away from the sight of the Wisps to shoot a brief look of confusion at the silver eye. The undulating webs of light used peripheral tendrils to feel along the edges of my illusion. Where the tendrils touched, the bear started to break down into motes of white light. It took seconds for it to go from a relatively convincing illusion of a bear back into an ordinary dumpster. "Never mind that for now. It''s time to run. You have to lure them into your Shadow, then run back out and close the door without them catching you." The Wisps were meandering back and forth at the front of the dumpster, and it took me a second to realize they were getting closer. "Wait, shit, are you serious? They can come into my Shadow?" "It''s a door. Do you know how doors work, Sam? I may have backed the wrong horse in all this. Are you going to run or what?" As they approached, their meandering lessened and then vanished, and they picked up speed, moving straight at me. "Go!" Sori yelled as I swore and spun around. The Wisps zipped in right behind me as I rushed into the Alcove. There was no time to get clever or even open the Alcove up to the hull of my Ether Ship. I dove behind one of the freestanding shelves innate to the Alcove and kicked off the floor on all fours to hurry back past the Light Webs toward the Shadow Entrance. I lost track of them as I backtracked and could only hope I''d been fast enough as I dove through the portal, collapsing it behind me. Laying on the tarred roof, breathing heavily, more from nerves than exertion, I cast a static illusion of a speech bubble with barely a thought. It floated suspended above my head, words facing Sori. "So what was the point of that?" "I''d thought that would be obvious," Sori answered. "Casting illusions draws trouble. You can''t expect to drop an illusion on yourself and become just another person. You do illusions a little differently from everyone else¡ªprobably because of the Shadow¡ªso your illusions draw more attention. Drawing attention is bad. Obviously. Still, we learned a lot, so it was probably worth it." "What was worth what? What exactly did we learn?" I asked from where I lay, letting go of the first bubble and making a new one. I was finding it suspiciously easy to create and change the illusion. "Like I said, we learned that you can make a cave-bear-sized illusion with some small animation for about seven minutes before it gets dangerous¡ª10 minutes if it''s one you''re wearing. Unchanging cosmetic illusions, such as a fake painting on a canvas, are safe until the illusion is broken. Active illusions like those speech bubbles, on the other hand, can be created one after another, in the same spot, for about three minutes before trouble comes. Obviously, creating an illusion in front of a ''normal'' will immediately break that illusion and call trouble. So you wouldn''t be able to make speech bubbles like that for most people. Just Hands, Crowseph, maybe Alice and Nia, oh, and the Gremlins. For everyone else, you''ll want to use a notebook or something." Stretching, I grabbed the canvas to use as a notepad. "Wait, we learned all of that from this one interaction?" I asked on the canvas. Sori snorted, "Obviously not. Like I said, that was about a hundred attempts of trying various things." "What are you talking about?" I asked, the words manifesting easily on the canvas. I was getting pretty quick, but if I couldn''t be obvious about it, I might have to pretend to write it out. "Your Shadow is probably cleared out by now, if you want to open it back up. They wouldn''t have hung out long before they respawned in the real world¡ªor wherever they go when there are no problems to fix. They''ll be back if you keep making obvious illusions or one illusion after another thought." Reluctantly, I drew the doorway up from my Shadow and tensed, ready to lead the wisps on another chase, but nothing flew out. "I told you they were gone," Sori said smugly. Hesitant, I stepped into my Shadow, still ready to flee if they showed up, but at the moment, I seemed to be alone. "I think it''s time to explain what''s happening," I said to Sori, distrust evident in my voice. "Sure, since you didn''t die, I might as well. Umm, you know the Neutralizer from the MIB? You got neuralized by the wisps, kind of a lot. They also killed you and changed your spawn point a few times. Pretty straight forward really." "Shit, What?! How many days have I wasted up here? Why don''t I remember? For that matter, why didn''t Hands ever say anything about these things?" "I don''t know how many times I need to remind you that, as he''s a Dolphin, he cheats, but it remains true. He rarely has to deal with them. As for the rest: You''ve died half a dozen times, but they''ve also messed with your memory closer to a hundred times. It''s just something they do. They fix a problem and reset local variables such as you to mask their existence." "Wait, Sori, you little shit, have you just been letting me die over and over? how long have we been doing this?" In truth, the deaths didn''t really bother me. I didn''t like the missing memories, though. It made me feel like I was missing even more parts of myself. Sori huffed out an offended breath. "I wouldn''t say ''letting;'' facilitating, maybe. You''re the one who wanted to learn illusions. You just got a crash course." "Yeah, one that''s been neuralized out of existence. I didn''t learn a thing except those arbitrary numbers you just gave me." "No, don''t be stupid; the Wisps aren''t erasing your memories, not most of them anyway. They just give your brain a new, simpler narrative that covers up the existence of the Wisps by making you not need to think about them. You still learned plenty about making illusions; you just don''t remember the events that led to lessons learned. You had to notice how easy it was. Besides, now you know the result of relying too heavily on illusions." "That''s not really the point. My memories were obliterated. Worse, I''ve been MIA for days for anyone who remembers me. I still don''t have Nia''s voice. I need to check on her, not to mention Alice¡ª who was eaten alive just before all of this¡ª and my other allies. I can''t just disappear. People are relying on me." "Yeah, I know," Sori sighed. " A little appreciation would be nice. After all, Wisps didn''t go after a single one of your allies because of how I did things. You''re welcome. Or would you rather have learned these lessons while surrounded by your ''allies?''" "There had to have been a better way," I argued. "You can''t will a better way into existence. But congratulations, you''ve got the basics. Try not to draw more trouble down on yourself." Sori sounded genuinely offended all of a sudden, and I almost felt guilty, except between his questionable lucidity and his manipulation of my emotions in the past, I didn''t trust it. "Go talk to Hands then," Sori said. "He should know what''s up with Nia. Promise fulfilled. You have 48 weeks left to evacuate Forest Lake through the suspended exit in your Domain." And then he was gone, and, despite my better judgment, I couldn''t help but feel a twinge of guilt for hurting his feelings. Part of me thought he deserved it, and part of me doubted he felt that way at all. It was something to deal with later after I''d checked on my allies and gotten some practice with the illusions that I could actually remember. 094 Running From Monsters I didn''t hurry back to the hospital. It had been six loops since Nia''s voice vanished, and the proto-kaiju had killed Alice and me. For better or worse, anything time-sensitive was likely already resolved. I took my time heading back, needing to practice my illusions. The hospital was most of a mile away. If I ran, I could probably make it under that 10-minute limit for personal illusions. I hadn''t done a ton of sustained cardio since the world ended¡ªit turns out that burst-energy is more important for surviving monsters, at least in the short term¡ªbut I assumed running a 10-minute mile wouldn''t be beyond me. I couldn''t remember learning the limits of the illusions, but if I asked myself questions, I was often surprised by what I could recall. I knew, for example, that making myself invisible was possible, and not even that hard. I wouldn''t be able to run far, though¡ªpartly because I wouldn''t be able to see¡ªand partly because I''d attract Wisps if I used an area illusion while moving. I also knew that invisibility was a brittle, if powerful, illusion. I didn''t love that I couldn''t remember the context in which I learned that, but I felt the truth of it, and I could reason out the why. Invisibility didn''t give people a way to delude themselves if they saw through it. If my hand passed through an illusory mask, an observer might do a double take, but they''d likely find a way to rationalize it as a trick of the light or a tired brain. If I used invisibility on myself and my hand passed outside the illusion and was seen, it would be harder to dismiss it as nothing. Invisibility would be better used to conceal stationary objects. I was a little bummed I couldn''t walk around as the invisible man, but it was never going to be the best use of the ability. I wasn''t completely ready to write off the possibility, but it wasn''t a priority. In the meantime, an illusion to appear human, at least at a glance, would keep me from getting sniped by one of the trigger-happy deputies who were running around. The major impediments to looking human were my muzzle and tail. Any illusion I wore would have to cover them. The problem was that any illusion covering my head would block and scatter light as though real. If I made an illusion of, say, a mascot head, my vision would be as hampered as it would if real. I''d be blind to most of the world, which would make me easy pickings for any number of monsters. Also, If someone saw me and started to wonder why anyone would run around in a blinding mascot head during a monster apocalypse, it might break the illusion. The illusions were physical in some way I didn''t understand, so it wouldn''t break just from suspicion. However, if suspicion made someone look closer and they saw my illusion do something impossible, like pass through low-hanging tree branches or something, that could be enough. If I''m not careful, I could find myself running from monsters, bullets, and Wisps all at once. I didn''t need a third danger to tiptoe around, but at least the Wisps were somewhat avoidable. I decided to go with an illusion of a rubber Scooby-Doo mask. It would hide my muzzle without blinding me too much. People would find it strange but probably less intimidating than a gas mask, which was my backup idea. There was a second-hand store a few buildings down from the art studio, and I broke in to steal some of the oversized clothing such places always seem to have. Expansive glass windows are great for display but not so much for security, especially when the police have bigger problems. I ended up grabbing a lot more than I''d planned. I''d gone in looking for a large overcoat to cover my tail¡ªand more of my torso than a bulletproof vest¡ª without needing a big, clumsy illusion. I''d found a trench coat that, together with my illusion of the Scooby mask, made me look like McGruff the Crime Dog. As I moved around, the mask flopped about realistically without any conscious direction. Even knowing it wasn''t real, it held up decently well to my scrutiny. There were issues. For one, the eye holes were large enough that my canine eyes were visible¡ªso was the occasional bit of blue fur or plaid eye mask. Still, from a distance, it should hold up. I''d have to come up with something better before I started going door to door spreading the good news¡ªabout an escape door, I mean, not Jesus. I didn''t stop at the coat. The Wisps had supposedly reset my spawn point¡ªnot that I remembered dying¡ªwhich meant I''d need to set it again. That worked out since it would also allow me to add the coat to my spawn condition. Still, shit happens, and I might end up needing another way to cover up, so I opened up my Shadow door and started adding sets of clothes to the shelves in my Shadow Alcove. I''d already stored a few necessities there, such as shotgun ammo. Still, overall, I was significantly underutilizing its storage space. After grabbing spare clothes for myself, I grabbed some clothing of a few different sizes, something that others could use in a pinch. I also grabbed a mostly-empty golf-bag that only held a few random clubs. I padded it out with other items that would make good melee weapons: a bat, a fire poker, and a hatchet. I found myself almost shopping as I looked around for things that might be useful that I could quickly add to my Shadow. For the most part, I''d avoided looting too much since the world ended. I hadn''t wanted to draw attention to myself, and my friend Jon took a dim view. I''d given up prioritizing getting through to him, but eventually, this year would be over, and one way or another, I was going to get him out. We should have been facing this apocalypse together, discovering its dangers and wonders side by side. If we were, he wouldn''t let me just take stuff like this. Still, I had tens of thousands of people counting on me. If looting made it easier to rescue people from this place, then it was probably the right choice. I grabbed a few other odds and ends¡ªincluding a pair of gloves that hid my bestial hands while still letting me use the shotgun¡ª and prepared to head out. Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon. My attention was brought back to the dangers of the city when I heard panicked voices from outside. There was a shriek followed by shouting, and I hurried to the window to see what was happening. A man pushing a shopping cart containing a heavily pregnant woman was being chased by a massive black bear monster. The creature had a mane of black fur around its head and a line of more bristly fur running down its spine. Otherwise, its body was hairless and mostly maggot-white. It had only a few black splotches here and there to give it the piebald look that was common with many monsters. Though there weren''t many actual similarities, it reminded me of the illusion I''d made for Sori. I couldn''t help but wonder if it was related. Was this still part of the illusion training after all? How many times had that Eye seen this scenario play out? Then again, I hadn''t traveled very far from the roof of the cafe and art studio. Maybe Sori had just seen the bear monster roaming the area. Either way, I wasn''t about to stand around watching. The proto-Kaiju hadn''t seemed especially fooled when Alice created its illusory duplicate. Still, if I could distract the creature for a moment, I could make another one to hide the fleeing pair. I focused on a lamp post a few steps ahead of the chase and the space around it. On top of it, I''d place an illusion of a giant bear rearing back on its hind paws. Even if the bear-monster wasn''t fooled, hopefully, it would get distracted long enough for me to drop another illusion. With the image solidified in my mind, I imagined pressing it through my forehead and layering it over the area around the lamppost just as the pair passed. As I''d hoped, the attacking bear-monster jerked back in surprise. In her shopping cart, the pregnant woman screamed again, and I realized she was in the process of giving birth. There wasn''t time to change the plan, so I could only hope she could keep quiet long enough for me to draw the monster away. The monster-bear let out a barking roar and swiped at my illusion, it''s paw passing clean through. Thankfully, the illusion didn''t immediately collapse, and I had a chance to throw up another one. This time, I dropped an illusion of invisibility on the couple. I focused toward the front of the cart, imagining a sphere of glass that would bend the light around the area. It would smother them in darkness, but in that darkness, I included a third illusion, this one of a glowing "keep quiet" sign. The sound of the cart rattling down the street stopped. Likely, they were completely confused about what was happening, but hopefully, they''d keep it together long enough that I could draw away the bear. Pushing my way out of the store, I rushed toward the monstrous creature. It seemed unfair that this creature should look at least as much like a werewolf as I did while also being like twice my size. Without fur covering most of its body, its limbs almost looked human, at least until you reached the giant fuck-off paws. The invisibility was holding, but the bear had taken another swipe, and the illusion of the bear collapsed, falling into motes of green light that rained down around the post. I had zero time left. My distraction illusion didn''t buy me the time I''d hoped, and I was still too far away to further distract the monster, not that I really wanted the job. Unfortunately, the invisibility illusion wouldn''t stop the sound of labored breathing, let alone any pained screams the labor might evoke. I wore the shotgun slung across my back and pulled the strap over my head to free it up for use. The shotgun was just loaded with buckshot shells, so I doubted it would stop the bear. It would also be loud. I''d likely draw more than just the bear monster down on me by using it. I hesitated. I''d already wasted most of a week. There were just 48 weeks left to evacuate an unknown number of people from a town that had killed me as often as not. The bear monster dropped back to all fours, its head agitatedly looking around, either for the other bear or for its recent prey. Its ears twitched, and then its nostrils flared. It crouched, and my eyes widened in realization. I pulled the trigger. The creature launched itself forward with shocking power. The shotgun blast rang out. So did screams and the clatter of a cart being overturned. The bear monster ignored the blast. The sheered-off barrel of the gun severely limited the range, and the shot was already going to have iffy stopping power against such a massive creature. From most of a block away, it was little more than a loud noise. The bear wasn''t distracted, and the ball of invisibility fell just in time to see the bear tear mercilessly into the latest people I''d failed. Fuck! I swore, furious and terrified. I spun on one padded foot and sprinted in the other direction. There was no saving either of them¡ªAny of them, I corrected myself, thinking about the baby that had the misfortune of having this as a birthday. By the time I finished my turn, the only sound left was the creature''s mastication as it fed. 095 My Fault Sprinting down the street, my head was filled with self-recrimination¡ªnot to mention a fair amount of rage at Sori for teaching me illusions in such a stupid way. I''d known invisibility wasn''t always a viable illusion, but I''d wanted to find a way to use it anyway. If I had more than pseudo-instinctual knowledge for creating illusions, I was sure I would have known better than to use invisibility on those poor people. If I could actually remember learning illusion magic, I might have known to place the illusion between the monster and the fleeing pair rather than over the fleeing pair. They''d been dropped into the dark with hope as their only protection. If I''d used an illusory wall or something instead, they could have kept running and gotten distance on the bear monster¡ªdistance I could have used to get closer and draw the creature''s attention onto myself. I told myself that their deaths weren''t really my fault. I''d failed to save them, but I didn''t cause the situation. I also knew that they wouldn''t stay dead, so there wasn''t much point in mourning their deaths. Still, after everything that went down at the hospital, I knew better than most how damaging these kinds of things could be, even without clear memories. Behind me, I could still hear the sounds of the bear tearing flesh and breaking bones. I was just grateful that no one back there was living through that. I knew better than to look back, but I assumed that, like other monsters I''d seen, the giant bear wasn''t looking for lunch so much as it was looking for memory crystals. I didn''t understand why humans had memory crystals; I just knew that we did¡ªor at least, others did. Presumably I did too, but it was hard to be sure. Universally, when monsters caught people, they went for the brain. I was desperately trying not to think about the third brain there. I couldn''t help; I''d seen enough to know I was already too late for all of them. The gorge rose in my throat, and my anger tried to fight it down by demanding action, but I couldn''t. I didn''t cause this. It wasn''t my fault. I wasn''t just trying to soothe my guilt and rage; I needed to keep my head if they were ever to have any chance. I didn''t know if I''d been here before¡ªdone this before. I wasn''t used to being the one to lose memories. Whether I''d been here before or not didn''t matter because the scene behind me had undoubtedly happened repeatedly, maybe since the first loop. I had to get away before the wisps came. If I didn''t, I''d forget most of what just happened, and my failure here would mean nothing. It made me feel like a coward, but unless I could get away without being taken by the Wisps, it would happen again. With Sori, I''d managed to escape a Wisp by tricking it into my Shadow before escaping and closing the door behind me. Still, it was clear that wasn''t the first time a Wisp had come for me, but it did seem to be the first time I''d escaped with my memories intact. The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation. When the Wisps had appeared at the start of the apocalypse, I''d somehow been pressed to the ground with such force I hadn''t been able to move a finger. When I tricked them into my Shadow, I hadn''t experienced any such thing. My only guess was that they couldn''t use that ability in my Shadow Alcove. Considering that Sori had repeatedly reiterated that I needed to be ready to run inside at a moment''s notice, it seemed plausible, if not something I really wanted to put to the test. So far, I wasn''t exactly enamored with Illusions. Or maybe I was just pouting. What had happened to those people was horrific but ultimately fixable. Even if it lingered as trauma for them, I knew more than one way to erase those memories if necessary. Not that having everyone in town who''d been traumatized leap from my stone ship into the plasma sea was practical. Still, it wasn''t the only method I knew; we''d figure it out. I couldn''t let the experience distract me. I rounded a corner to get out of sight of the trauma-bear, and took a moment to open my Shadow door and step inside. One of the many things I didn''t know about illusions and Wisps, was if Wisps could track Illusions back to their source. When I''d pierced Hands''s illusions in my assault on the physical therapy pool, I hadn''t seen any Wisps show up to deal with Hands for me. Hopefully, that was because they couldn''t trace them. I told you, he''s a dolphin and dolphin''s cheat, Sori''s voice echoed from my memories, reminding me that I couldn''t take it for granted that I knew what to expect. As I stood poised to run deeper into my Shadow Alcove, watching for any sign of the Wisps, I changed my appearance to that of a human. The last thing I needed was to draw fire from a passing deputy or aspiring monster hunter. The more I thought about it, the more I kicked myself for dropping the pair into invisibility. Even if the creature hadn''t immediately sniffed them out, their own confusion and doubt about the appearance of the sudden darkness might have been enough to break the illusion. Not that I could be sure without more testing, but it was another reason I shouldn''t have even tried that illusion. What I needed to do, if I could somehow find the time, was develop a handful of versatile illusions for the most likely situations I might find myself in. The visualization part wasn''t especially difficult, probably because I already did something similar when drawing, so I should be able to customize them on the fly. It was something to consider later, when I was sure I''d survive past the next few seconds. I stood tensely in my Shadow for more than five minutes before deciding it was safe to leave. Either the Wisps weren''t coming, or they hadn''t been able to track the broken illusion back to me. The trauma bear would still be around, though, and I wasn''t eager to face it either, especially not for anything as useless as punishment that it wouldn''t understand anyway. Animalistic monsters like the bear didn''t seem to retain any more memories across loops than people. Maybe less, since people did seem to retain some things. I''d killed monsters like Slender Hopper the same way so many times that, when I lost memories, Nia knew my technique well enough to teach it back to me. I wouldn''t be able to deter the bear. So, if I wanted to stop this tragedy, I''d either have to find its originator and convince them to embrace their trauma¡ªsomething that could easily go terribly wrong¡ªor I''d have to feed the memory crystal to the Gremlins. The only other option that seemed feasible was to return here in a future loop and change the pair''s spawn point, which would just put someone else at risk from the creature. Groaning, I started to grab some shotgun shells. I was running low, so I could only hope it didn''t take too much to put the creature down. I had a few ideas for Illusions that might help. Hopefully, using additional illusions in the same area wasn''t a terrible idea. 096 Thats One I prowled along the road, the trauma bear trundling along a little ways ahead. I was as ready for the fight as I could make myself. I''d come up with a few illusions that felt promising¡ªand even practiced them a couple times to be sure. No Wisps ever showed up. Hopefully, since the trauma bear was on the move, they wouldn''t show up immediately when I implemented my plan. Prowling or not, my glowing blue aura was as bright as ever and would eventually give me away. I had a hunch that the illusions would be able to mask the glow, but I didn''t know if that hunch was a remnant of a memory or if it was just pure guesswork. Either way, it didn''t seem worth Wisp attention. Despite my poor stealth, I was closing in on the creature quickly. I might stick out like a sore thumb, but my padded feet neared silent on the blacktop as I ran low. I could have run faster and quieter on all fours, but I would need the shotgun to do the actual damage. As I approached at a quiet lope, I planned out my moves. Its eyes and neck would likely be its most vulnerable spots. Taking out its eyes would blind it, but it probably wouldn''t be mortally wounded themselves¡ªunless the buckshot could break through to the brain. Of course, blinding it would make it easier to kill without taking a hit. The safer bet had to be the thing''s throat. Monsters were as vulnerable to bleeding out as any more traditional animal, and this bear didn''t even have a thick fur coat for added protection. It did have a bit of a mane, but that black fur mainly extended down its spine, with only a thin covering along its throat. Its pale and loose skin might still be extra tough, so I''d have to get as close as possible to be sure the shot had enough penetrating power. Death would never be a welcome companion, but I''d faced it enough that it was no longer the terrifying unknown. If this failed, at least I wasn''t likely to suffer very long. The bigger problem was the cost that came with dying. Another day would be done and gone. The fact that it would give me another shot at saving the fleeing pair from the bear almost didn''t matter. Stopping the bear in this loop would accomplish the same thing. The only benefit of a redo would be if I could set the spawn point of all three at the hospital, not only saving them but also ending the mother''s perpetual labor. Still, I couldn''t afford to give so much attention to so few people. It would only result in more people suffering from my failure. If I could kill the bear this loop and get the memory crystal to the Gremlins, I was sure they''d have a way of preventing it from respawning. Or at least I hoped. They''d known how to stop Tickles and Slender Hopper from respawning. Unfortunately, they couldn''t eat the bear whole like Mother had Slender Hopper¡ªnot unless they could get a lot bigger than I thought¡ªand I didn''t know whose trauma this was, even if I was willing to risk creating a bogey monster like Pastor Kay. Still, it was the only thing I could think of. If I couldn''t stop it from respawning, I''d have to make another terrible choice. I couldn''t afford to dedicate more time to helping just a few. I needed to evacuate an average of 300 people a day. There was no way I could treat that number as a daily par, though. My pyramid scheme idea of 10 people rescuing 10 people, each responsible for 10 more, meant that losing a day or two helping three people might lead to thousands of people being left behind. If I failed here, I''d have to carry the weight of their suffering, another necessary price for evacuating as many as possible, at least until rescuing them became practical. It would also be a secret I''d have to keep from my friends and allies. I already couldn''t keep my allies focused on evacuation of the town over assistance of the briefly endangered, even if I could understand the rationale. I''d just have to hope the Gremlins could do something. Ahead, the bear had paused its meandering plod, raising its nose up to snuffle at the air. I tensed, guessing it had caught my scent. It was less than half a block away from me. While sneaking up on it, I''d been focusing on the bear as a whole¡ªrather than any one part or the space around it¡ªconceptualizing it as a single object. As it began to turn back toward me, I visualized a bucket strapped to its head. Illusory ropes appeared as well, stretching from the bucket to the torso and legs of the bear. The ropes might not have been necessary, but I wanted to be sure the bucket would move with the trauma monster''s head, which my instincts told me required mapping an illusion to the whole bear. I could have dropped an illusory blanket on it instead, but I didn''t want to cover more of its body than I had to. I wanted a clean shot. The bear roared and pawed at its head, but neither bellow nor claw had any effect on the visual illusion. Between its furiously shaking head and swiping paws, the lack of substance must have become obvious. In the next second, the illusion shattered into a flurry of blue motes of light. The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings. That''s one. I was banking on being able to lose at least three illusions before drawing the attention of the Wisps. If I''d paired the illusion with a physical object, would it have lasted longer? I wondered to myself. If the bear thought it felt a bucket, maybe the illusion wouldn''t have broken so quickly. I didn''t know how I''d have accomplished that in this case. Still, it was something to keep in mind for later. The bear spotted me as the illusory bucket dissolved; it let out another bellow as it turned its bulk around to charge me. When planning this, I''d considered using illusory fire or something to distract the bear, but I''d worried it wouldn''t be fooled by smokeless and heatless flame. Instead, I created two illusory duplicates of myself, splitting off and running to either side of me. My hope was that, while the bear may not believe its eyes, it wouldn''t be able to tell which of me was the real one. I ran as quietly as I could¡ªeven holding my breath¡ªtrying not to give the bear any clues about which was the real me. My doppelgangers spread out to my left and right and outpaced me slightly to come at the bear from opposite sides. If it were a human opponent, I might have had to employ some mind games to better mask which of me was real, but I doubted the bear was that smart. I was less than 20 yards away from the monster and moving fast. The bear rose up on its hind legs to intimidate me, and it wasn''t not effective. Fortunately, it wasn''t enough to steal my focus, and my illusory clones were soon within striking distance. The bear crashed down on one and spun to swipe at the other. Both disappeared into a cloud of blue motes, leaving only my real self as a target. That''s two. I was ten yards away, having made my duplicates take the lead, but the bear was quick and could cross that distance even faster than me. Creating the clones had been my most challenging illusion yet, partly because it was almost two illusions. The duplicates had moved identically to each other, matching my own movements; only their speed and direction were different, but those differences were challenging to maintain. Like patting your head and rubbing your stomach¡ªor doing a moonwalk¡ªthere was some cognitive dissonance to keep both movements in mind. As I''d watched them run, I''d been able to tell they weren''t actually touching the ground, but it was a vast improvement over my first attempts. My first try had resulted in a blurry form just behind me, jittering between several places at once without ever being fully in one spot. The blur followed my movements, almost creating an anime-style afterimage. I decided to add it to my tool belt. I was close enough that I only needed to buy a few more moments. As the bear rushed at me, I initialized the afterimage illusion, leaping forward in a running zigzag movement that created a snaking trail of hazy copies in my wake. The bear''s charge hesitated, and it shook its head as though trying to see true. Bringing my shotgun forward, I leaped back to avoid a swiping paw, the monster''s confusion causing it to misjudge the distance. Shot lined up at the creature''s unprotected neck, I pulled the trigger to an echoing blast and fountain of dark blood. The bear stumbled, trying to retain its footing, but was clearly dazed. Without waiting, I cocked the gun and unleashed a second shell and close range. The bear crumbled, gurgling to the ground, near-black blood pooling on the pavement around it. It didn''t die immediately, and the puzzlement in its eyes affected me more than I liked, especially considering that the creature was a dangerous killer. Sometimes, though, there aren''t good solutions. There''s just what we''ve got. The monster died shortly after that, blood loss not letting it linger overly long. I opened up my Shadow, ready to run in case my actions had drawn Wisp attention. Hopefully, however, the broken illusions wouldn''t be enough to attract them here. Hopefully, since the trauma monster was dead and therefore no longer aware of the inconsistency, there was nothing to bring the webs of light my way. Either way, I''d be quick. Stepping into the Shadow long enough to grab an ax, I walked up to the bear and went after its memory crystal. I really hoped the Gremlins could actually do something with it. 097 The People Right In Front Of Me I walked through the front entrance of the hospital wearing my McGruff costume. Did I look stupid? Yes, maybe even suspicious, but I didn''t look like just another monster. Not that it mattered; there didn''t seem to be anyone around. Hands''s illusions were gone, and¡ªwhen I got to the physical therapy pool¡ªthat too was empty. First Nia, now Hands. Or maybe both at the same time. Steeling myself for an overreaction, I checked the Chapel. Since defeating Kay''s Bogey monster self, she''d stuck close to her Chapel and congregation. They spent their time in prayer and repentance as they awaited judgment. It wasn''t exactly useful, but at least they were out of the way and no longer stealing people''s autonomy. The Chapel, too, was empty. Feeling worried, I hurried up to the second floor and failed to find anyone in the break room. Hurrying around to check other rooms, I eventually came to the conclusion the hospital had been abandoned for some reason. Chewing my lip with my canines, I decided to check on the Gremlins. As I walked out the back entrance and got close enough to the Gremlin hut, a knot that had been forming in my stomach unclenched. Alice was with them but glanced briefly back at me as I approached. Hopefully, that meant there hadn''t been some calamity while Sori had distracted me with his terrible teaching methods. The three of them were on the ground. Alice was rapping a bundle up in a towel and handing it to one of the Gremlins, presumably Mother. She was lying on the ground panting and generally looking exhausted while being hugged by Father. I dismissed my McGruff mask as I approached. I was hardly the only monster here, and I''d hate to trigger some instinctual threat response if the Gremlins didn''t recognize me. "You were so brave, Mother," Alice said as Mother brought the baby Gremlin close. "You did such a great job; I''m so proud of you. Why don''t I give you three some time to bond while I talk to our friend." Alice glanced over her shoulder at me. From what I could see, the baby Gremlin looked even more like a naked mole rat than its parents. Its face, at least, was far more pink than white, and there was only one small black birthmark on a rodent-like face. As the Gremlins huddled together, Alice stood, brushed dust off her pants, and walked over. "Third time I''ve delivered that baby Gremlin. Do you know what they name it?" I shrugged, unable to speak, and waffled between writing out my words and creating an illusion. It''d be great if I could just open a shadow and rely on that, but Sori said I was still speaking gibberish. "''Baby Gremlin,''" Alice confirmed. "They use names weird, huh?" I shrugged again and then sighed before creating a speech bubble. "In a way, we do the same, don''t you think, Doctor? At least some of us. Besides, it seems at least as strange that people can go their whole lives known by a single name, no matter how much they change¡ªMaybe even hindering change. Anyway, do you have a second? We need to talk." Alice''s eyes widened, and her eyebrows shot up. "Woah, Sori finally taught you illusions? Is that where you were?" Alice focused for a second, and a white speech bubble appeared above her head, too. "Did it work?" she asked as I squinted at her illusory dialogue box. "Your lettering is illegible, but it''s a start." I wrote back. "Why aren''t you talking? Did something happen?" "I was going to ask you that," I said, avoiding the topic of Nia for a moment. "The hospital is empty. Where''s Hands?" Father Gremlin stood from where he''d been embracing Mother and Baby and began to wiggle, his little feet shuffling in the dirt, his rear squirming. Then he was leaping and dancing and shaking his butt, releasing pent-up joy. His voice went back and forth between whispering a rumbled "Baby Gremlin, baby baby Gremlin" in a sing-song voice and his high-pitched chirruping that he and Mother used between each other, his joy evident as he spun and leaped. Alice smiled at the scene. "They really are too adorable. To answer your question, Hands moved to a bigger pool at the Filton. He said you''d spoken about it." I hadn''t succeeded in clearing the hotel; Alice and Luke''s group had shown up with a baby kaiju in tow, and I''d gotten distracted. Then, I''d lost days learning illusions. Presumably, Hands got tired of waiting and solved the problem himself. It made me wonder why he''d asked for my help at all. "The Sheriff sent deputies out here. They talked Kay and her congregation into coming with them to someplace safer; um, Jon went with them too," Alice said, trying not to add any concern or extra importance to her words. "They wanted Jessica, Anderson, and me to come too, but we talked our way out of that. But we aren''t staying either. Jessica went to the hospital downtown, and they''re overrun with injuries. I guess we''re out of the way for most people in town, and since the Vortex came down right on top of us, nobody knows we''re still around. So if we want to help, we need to go to them. The others are already there. I''m just here waiting for you, because, you''re right: we need to talk." Alice''s voice quavered slightly at the last. The baby Gremlin started to chirp shrilly, drawing our attention. "I like this part; it''s so weird," Alice said, watching. The newborn monster had its head thrown back in a wail that sounded somewhere between a baby chick and a plucked banjo string. Its voice rang out loud and sustained. Then Mother began a whistling chirp of another note, and Father rushed over and joined with a third, leaving the family singing a sustained chord. After a couple seconds, Baby blinked owlishly at its singing parents and quieted. Mother and Father let their own singing trail off and chirped and cooed at each other and their child. "It sounds like a lot has happened, I''m sorry I wasn''t around." I wrote in a speech bubble. While the writing in Alice''s bubble had appeared like handwriting, mine appeared as print. I wasn''t sure if that was a difference in experience, or in mindset, or something else altogether. "As you see, Sori finally taught me how to do illusions. But, well, he let me get killed by Wisps for like a week, and I didn''t realize how much time I''d lost." Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. "Wisps?" Alice asked. "They look like webs of light wafting through the air¡ª"I started before nearly face palming. Rather than describing the thing, I created an illusion of one floating between us like a bag in the wind. "They look like this." "Huh. You said they''re called Wisps? I''ve not seen one of these since the Vortex came down. Or... wait, maybe I have? That''s weird. I feel like I have seen them at some point more recently, but I can''t remember anything else." "Yeah, they''re assholes," I said, dismissing the image. "They show up if you get too ambitious with Illusions, more or less. They can take your memories and make you remember something else instead, kind of like the Neuralizer thing from Men In Black. Just be careful; they erase your memories of them and tear down your illusions." I wrote. "Wow, good to know, I guess. Is that why you were wearing a mask instead of an illusion?" Alice asked. I tried to think of a good way of explaining, and finally just shrugged and placed an image of my preferred human face over my canine one. My snout poked through the illusory mouth. As Alice looked on with confusion, I could feel the illusion slipping away, so I changed it to the McGruff mask rather than letting it break. "Oh, the mask was the illusion. Why didn''t you cover your, uh, muzzle too? I have feathers that stick up, and Nia has horns, but the illusion can mask those." I shrugged, as confused as she was. "I don''t know," I wrote. I peered at the illusion covering her head. I knew she had almost a crown of feathers that stuck up on her head, but none were visible, even knowing they were there. Strangely, her aura was visible even through her illusion. My illusions always masked my aura. Pointing at my speech bubble, I added, "I think it has to do with how the illusions are made. Sori told me over and over that Hands does his different¡ªand that he ''cheats,'' whatever that means. Also, you and Nia still have Auras when hidden under illusions, but mine is masked." "Well, then, maybe it''s something you can still learn. But I get the impression that''s not what you wanted to talk about. But you dodged me before. You can''t speak; did something happen to Nia?" I stood thinking, watching the Gremlins begin to nod off to sleep. I sighed. "I don''t know. Back then, I saw you facing the uh... ''proto kaiju'' is what I call it. I could tell it saw through your illusion and tried to warn you, but my voice was gone. I think it''s been gone ever since. I came here to check on Nia." Alice''s tension was slowly increasing, "Yeah, I guess we really do need to talk. I guess I''m glad I''m hearing this from you, even if I don''t love that she''s been missing for like a week¡ªI know, you got caught up in things. I just wish I was more confident you were telling me everything." My brow furrowed, confused. "What do you mean?" "I mean, I found out about Craig''s trauma. You left that kid there to die over and over." "I couldn''t save him. I tried. I spent almost a week trying." My speech bubble read. "But you didn''t ask for help. And he wasn''t the only one either, was he?" I went still, unable to meet her eye. "Luke and I found his brother downtown, a perpetual victim of that Kaiju. Did you know?" "Alice," I wrote, "There are as many as 100,000 people in town. All of them need my help. I can''t afford to fixate on any one person, no matter how tragic." "You knew Luke''s brother needed his help, and you still tried to talk him out of going there." Alice''s voice wasn''t quite accusatory. Instead, it was more matter-of-fact, with a hint of a doubtful question. "I tried to save him too. I did save Luke by keeping him away. But nobody is really safe until we evacuate." I wished I wasn''t having this conversation through text; there was too much room for misunderstanding. "That wasn''t your call to make," Alice said, a starkness in her voice that I hadn''t heard since Maebe was found in my spawn point. "''With power comes responsibility," I wrote defensively. "You''re a surgeon. You have to know about making tough calls." "Jesus. No, Sam. Oberon. You think I trick my patients so they do what I think best? Treating a patient means getting informed consent. My responsibility is to make my abilities available to my patients, not lie about their options. As the one with the door, your responsibility is just to not lock us out. Make the door available, not unavoidable. What you needed to do, what you should have done, was trust us. I helped Luke save his brother. The only reason I didn''t save the other child is that the Gremlins seem to have gotten that bunny monster trained pretty well. Still, he was out in the open, so I helped him change his spawn point so he could be with his family. If you''d told me earlier, I could have helped so much sooner. It makes me wonder what else you''re keeping secret. How do I know you aren''t lying to me about Nia? How do I know she''s not out there needing help you can''t give?" "I don''t know where she is, I swear." I wrote, feeling a familiar sense of isolation. "Would you tell me if you did?" "Of course." "I wish you''d told me about the others. It''d make believing you easier." I sighed and clenched my jaw, anger and frustration building. "If every day I helped the people right in front of me, I could save maybe a few hundred or thousand people. Everyone else would be stuck, trapped forever, or destroyed completely. I can''t get fixated on helping one person. And I can''t do this alone, I need people to help me, and I need those people not to get distracted either. I know it sucks. I hate it. But it''s the only thing I''ve been able to come up with." "How do I say this... you''re a fucking moron," Alice replied with her own sigh. "No offense, but logistics isn''t your skill set. Your best idea was a pyramid scheme. You''re so caught up thinking yourself wolf-spider man¡ªthat ''with great power comes great responsibility''¡ªthat you''re failing to share either. Look, this isn''t¡ªI''m not trying to exile you again or anything. But we''re not your followers. I''m not; Luke isn''t. We want you around, but not taking charge, and not if you''re keeping secrets we should know. With that in mind, there''s something you need to know. We made a breakthrough with memories." 098 Too Much To Asks My jaw was clenched, and blood rushed to my canine ears and cheeks as I wrestled with my anger. Is it too much to ask for the benefit of the doubt? I asked myself. I''d made some tough calls, but I still believed they were the right calls to make. Alice could talk about ''informed consent'' all she wanted, but if someone was bleeding out and unresponsive, I was pretty sure that went out the window. Sometimes, a call has to be made, and sometimes, there''s no time for anything about immediate action. A year should be enough time for emergency measures not to be needed. Unfortunately, when every single person was essentially an amnesiac who remembered next to nothing of the past months, there was no time at all. How could I tell people who went to work or school ''yesterday'' that there were monsters, and magic, and time loops, and chromed eldritch eyes, and all kinds of things they wouldn''t understand even if they believed. It was impossible. And it was the wrong choice. I would never disagree that autocracy was dangerous, but it also had its place. Teachers didn''t take a vote when creating their lesson plans, and firefighters didn''t wait for permission before rescuing the unconscious. I was sure Alice would agree if she was thinking it through. I had to wonder if my appearance was to blame. I couldn''t really even be mad about it¡ªor at least, I probably shouldn''t have been. In any case, I could understand. I was scary-looking, and everything happening around me was also scary. Even if it was unconscious, it would be all too easy for a seed of distrust to spoil things. I sighed, breathing deeply to try to clear my head. Anger was easy, but it wouldn''t help. "I am genuinely grateful that those kids aren''t in harm''s way. I just wish I was sure that the price was worth it. I tried my hardest to save them." I wrote in a speech bubble. "Yes, I could have asked for help. But I need more help than just yours. While trying to help on my own, I accidentally engineered a situation where some people were willing to listen. Besides, I did ask for help, just not from you. The Gremlins ''tamed'' the bunny monster because I went to them for help." "I know," Alice said with her own sigh. "And that''s a fair point. I''m not trying to say I think you''re a bad guy, but-" I pointed a finger aggressively up at my speech bubble. I wasn''t done. "The group at Luke''s bar was a promising group of potential allies," "And still can be." Pointing again, I continue. "But I wonder if Craig will keep going there if he''s not trying to drown out that memory. I wonder if others will be inspired by compassion to stand against the dangers of this place. I wonder if Luke will even keep the bar open if he''s got a brother to look after. I wonder if your new allies will even be around in a few loops." "You think I shouldn''t have saved them?" "I think you''re not thinking far enough ahead. I think prioritizing a few immediate problems while creating new problems or eliminating promising solutions doesn''t help anyone. It''s taking out a loan you can''t repay and blaming an impulse buy for being expensive." Whatever Alice thought, I wasn''t power-hungry. I''d love to be in her position, with enough power to make a difference, but not so much that I had to make all the difference. I was envious that she got to just go around treating the symptoms, seeing immediate relief. Because of my appearance, even when I did get to save people, I didn''t get to see appreciation or relief. Just more fear and uncertainty. In the end, however, I knew that just treating the symptoms would end up with mounds of dead. If I didn''t do everything I could to get people out of town, those deaths were on me. Or so it felt. It would be irresponsible to do anything else. It was frustrating and a definite setback, but Luke''s bar was far from the only gathering place. Besides, Alice said she was going to the hospital downtown to help people who would need the same help over and over. She wouldn''t exactly be taking over Luke''s bar. I wondered if I could just ignore her attempt to fire me¡ªassuming the group didn''t just dissolve after Alice''s interference. Then again, she said she''d discovered something about the memories. If it was enough to keep the bar patrons working together across loops without either of us being involved, it could be useful. "Alice, I don''t agree with almost anything you''ve said. Even saying you aren''t trying to exile me feels the same as it did back then. You don''t know all the information, and you''re jumping to conclusions, happy to be suspicious of me rather than offer me the tiniest benefit of the doubt. Well fuck, whatever. It''s a punch to the gut, but I doubt that surprises you." "Sam-" Alice started, but I glared at her and harshly pointed at my speech bubble again. It was extremely inconvenient not being able to actually interrupt, but thankfully, she let me continue. Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions. "Just¡ªJust tell me what you figured out about memories." "Sam. You''re being an ass. An over-dramatic ass." I tilted my head sarcastically, "Oh, am I? Sorry, I guess being undermined while trying to save one hundred thousand people has me frustrated. If we manage to salvage a court system from this apocalypse, you can sue me." It was Alice''s turn to clench her jaw. "Oh, how stupid of me. Why would I ever have doubts about someone so capable under pressure?" I started to craft a reply, but she continued before I could. "Christ. Alright, fine. It''s only the whole reason I even brought any of this up. There are four types of memories, Semantic, Episodic, Procedural, and Emotionally conditioned. From what I can tell, everyone retains at least 1 of these types of memory when the day loops. Working together, people can piece their partial memories together." Other than there being four types of memories, this wasn''t new. It was part of the reason the bar patrons were so valuable. As a group, they''d been able to figure out a lot, making it easier to retain their help. "While you were missing for a week," Alice went on pointedly, "Luke and I sorted his regulars into small groups of four and even changed the spawn points for eight of them so they spawned together in two groups of four. It doesn''t fix anything, but it''s already showing impressive results. There''s enough overlap with the memory types that, in short order, four people can do a decent job of piecing together their memories to figure out what''s going on. As important, trust and reliance on one another comes much faster than anyone would expect." "What do you mean?" "Think of my surgery team, for example. Before merging with my trauma, I had semantic memory. Anderson keeps episodic memories, and Jessica keeps her emotionally conditioned memories. I think the same was true of Denis, but I wasn''t going to visit him in the chapel to find out. At the beginning of the time loop, I didn''t notice anything had changed. Anderson, however, said he felt off¡ªlike he''d lost time. He also expected something to pop out, just like when watching a generic thriller movie and knowing a jump scare was coming. Jessica and Denis didn''t know what to expect, but they felt like they were having panic attacks. Their odd reactions made me ask what was wrong, and it was like I was remembering something I forgot I knew." I remembered. I''d been impressed and confused by most of their reactions. Only Denis had never been able to overcome his fear. If Alice was right, I had to wonder if Denis and I had more bad blood in our history than either of us remembered. I''d also wondered how Alice had figured out how to use Memory Crystals to keep her notes to herself intact. For that matter, I''d wondered how she''d even thought to do so in the first place. "It was meeting Dalia from Luke''s that made it all fit," Alice said, some excitement filling her voice despite the tension between us. "She has incredible accuracy with thrown darts and knives. Dalia said she was terrible at darts before the Vortex fell and that she''d never thrown a knife in her life. She found out about her skill accidentally when she decided to play darts to pass the time, having no idea what else to do. If she''s spent the last couple months throwing darts and knives, and if that skill was retained somehow across the time loops, the result would be the same." Alice was getting animated, and I could tell that she had been excited to share this with me. I knew that she meant well by trying to take the responsibility off my shoulders. And I understood that it was hard to trust another with so much control. I wanted to be excited with her. I wanted to let go of my frustration and anger, but they seemed like the only shield I had left to protect myself¡ªand, by extension¡ªthe people depending on me. "Well, I remembered hearing about this guy before the apocalypse who had a type of amnesia. He''d swear he had never had coffee before and didn''t know how to make it, but if you asked him to try to make it, he knew exactly where to find it in the cupboards and exactly how to make it. He couldn''t consciously remember that the next day, but he still retained the procedural memory. So, Luke and I tested this with Dalia. He showed her how to make some cocktails she''d never heard of. The next loop, he asked her to make it, and even though she claimed not to know what it was, she still managed to make it. From there, it was just some trial and error to figure out people all seem to keep exactly 1 type of memory across loops." "Let me make sure I understand," I manifested in my speech bubble. I wasn''t concerned about the Wisps coming from this kind of illusion, though I couldn''t really say why. Based on what Alice and Sori said, it seemed like the Wisps had taken my episodic memories and replaced them. It could mean that if I sat down and asked myself the right questions, I''d be able to flesh out my understanding of illusions more. For the moment, I''d just have to rely on my instinct, or procedural memory. The Wisps might have a different effect than the time loops, but the memory games at least confirmed they were related¡ªnot that I''d ever doubted. "Episodic memory is how things are connected or relate to each other. It''s knowing it''s dangerous to accept food from strangers. Semantic memory is knowing the facts that episodic memory connects. It''s knowing Snow White is the fairest and that the evil queen is a vain witch who makes poisoned apples. Procedural memory is knowing what to do without knowing why. It''s automatically washing off your fruit even when you don''t know the fruit is poisoned. Emotional Conditioning is being afraid of apples after choking on one, even if you don''t remember eating it and passing out. Or something." Alice huffed out a small laugh. "Yeah, more or less. And by grouping people up so they have at least one person with each type of memory, they instinctively work together to recreate their missing memories and even just make decisions. It''s good news, Sam. It means it doesn''t have to be all on your shoulders. Saving everyone was never your responsibility alone, but now we can really create a community with a real chance of making a difference, not just in here, but when we make it out too. Even if the time loops and memory loss end, we''ll still have a community that''s gotten used to working together. We have a chance to build something. I know you feel like I''m, I don''t know, betraying you, or undermining you, or whatever. But, I''m trying to help, and not just you." There was hope in Alice''s voice as she spoke, but I couldn''t help but wince at her sleight. She''d apparently already had doubts about my ability to save the town. I couldn''t really blame her since I had those doubts myself. Still, it felt like she wasn''t giving me enough credit. Worse, I didn''t agree with her optimism. Shaking my head in annoyance, I pointed at my speech bubble. "I don''t have the same trust in people as you, Alice. People are selfish idiots at the best of times, and even more so when they''re scared. Right now, people are looking for any chance. Doing this will end with factions and misinformation and everyone fighting for control. It''ll mean compromise, which will mean lives lost. Democracy is important for a healthy society, but not the solution to every problem. I think you know that. And I think you''re proof of exactly what I''m saying. You want more control over your future, and you don''t care that that means taking it from the one person who can actually help." 099 What Needs To Be Done "Only you can save us, huh?" Alice asked sarcastically, tapping her chin. "Hmm, where have I heard that before? Oh, right, every wanna-be dictator ever." She said, looking me straight in the eyes. I scowled, but she went on without waiting for a response. "Let''s play out your plan for a second. Say you manage to make your pyramid scheme work, and most people escape the town within the time limit. Almost completely unprepared, 100,000 people walk out into no-one-knows-what. Forest, field, or road, 100,000 people suddenly need food, shelter, and water. Some few might think to bring supplies, but many won''t. How many will be injured, young, or otherwise in need of significant assistance? Is passing normally on the outside? If the country has finished collapsing in the months we''ve been in the Vortex, we could easily find ourselves with no support and no one to turn to. No one except you." It was something I knew but not something I could do much about, not alone anyway. I''d just have to make sure people packed essentials. Some stuff could be stored in my Shadow Alcove until we started evacuating. "So now 100,000 people are looking to you for food, water, shelter, reassurance, direction, control. Even if you could organize all that in any kind of meaningful time frame¡ªand you''ll forgive me if I have my doubts¡ª you''d be just that much more of an autocrat. But again, I don''t think you could get everyone organized before 100,000 people shattered into bands of people desperately searching for clean water and food. Disease, dehydration, and starvation would kill thousands, maybe tens of thousands. At first, people might work together for the good of all, but how long before desperation and tribalism bring conflict and violence? Even if you rescue every soul in Forest Lake, will even half of them survive a year?" "I DON''T KNOW!" I wrote in all caps before taking a steadying breath. "And whatever you think, I don''t plan to take charge. There are civil authorities, even the Sheriff''s people, that are better equipped to handle that situation. I can take steps to prepare supplies; I''m happy to get your insights, but at the end of the day, I''m still the one stuck making the decisions. I have to do what I think is right. I have to give as many people a chance as I can. If I have to do that without you, without Luke and his patrons, well then I will. It just sucks; I thought we were becoming friends." "I don''t like anyone enough to let them have absolute control, Sam." "I''m not after control. I''m not after power. For fuck sake, Alice, I can literally use emotional glamours to make people agree with me, and I''ve barely touched the skill." "But you have touched it. Maybe you had to, I don''t know the details. My concern is that you''re approaching this as the ends justifying the means. How long before you''re leaning on that kind of mind control and saying it''s ''for their own good?''" I groaned, wondering why I even brought up emotional glamour. "I''m overstating how powerful it is. It''s not mind control; it''s quick-cast hypnosis at best. I was trying to point out that I''ve avoided even that much in most cases. And yes, if using my emotional hypnosis can save lives from this place, I will likely use it. The ends may not justify the means, but the end is coming and fast. You''re approaching this as if the end is unimportant. ''It''s about the journey, not the destination'' is a great philosophy when you aren''t talking about tens of thousands of people, many children, being destroyed, or worse, trapped in a nightmare limbo." Both Alice and I were standing rigidly, tense and uncomfortable, a hair''s breadth from squaring off. I looked away first, turned my back on another friend, and began to walk away, pointing at my speech bubble. "Alice, thanks for telling me about the memory types. Have fun getting your toes curled by Luke or whatever." "Oh Fuck you," Alice yelled after me. I groaned internally again, pausing without turning around. I shouldn''t have said that. It wasn''t fair, and it didn''t even matter. I doubted I was wrong, but I also doubted it had anything to do with Alice''s opposition. "Sorry," I wrote in the speech bubble, still not looking back. "When you all want to leave, the escape hatch will be open for you. But I''m not sticking around to watch this science experiment crash and burn. For what it''s worth, I genuinely wish you luck. I''d love for this not to be on me, but organizations move too slowly and are too easy to corrupt. I don''t know what things are like on the outside. Despite your words, neither do you. But I know anyone stuck in Forest Lake in a year has no chance whatsoever. Good luck at the new hospital; I''m sure they''ll be glad for the help." "Ass," Alice grumbled as I resumed walking away. I glanced over at the Gremlins, needing some emotional support. I wished they were dancing around and being goofy, begging me to draw them pictures; it was good for the heart to see that kind of uninhibited joy. Instead, the Gremlins were in an unconscious sprawl, cuddled close to each other. I couldn''t help but wonder what would happen to them when we left. Could I bring them out with me? Should I? Rather than bolster my mood, it just added another weight for me to carry. Fuck I swore to myself. I''d forgotten that I had the Trauma bear''s memory crystal. I didn''t want to leave without asking them if they could do something with it. In a weird way, I didn''t want to admit to Alice that I''d taken the time trying to save people from one monster. She''d definitely approve. I didn''t really regret it, but I also knew I couldn''t afford to keep acting that short-sighted. It wasn''t me who would pay the price for not thinking long-term. Still, I couldn''t just leave. Gritting my teeth, I asked Alice if she was going to stay with the Gremlins for a bit. "Jessica has an electric car; it''s quiet enough that she doesn''t draw in monsters. She''s coming around to pick me up soon." Alice had said she''d delivered the baby in previous loops. "Will the Gremlins wake up before you go?" I put in the speech bubble. Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author. "Probably. I''m sure you''ve noticed, but they aren''t trapped in the time loop in the same way. They don''t seem to lose memories, which is one thing, but they can make permanent changes too, like that Shack. They aren''t building that over and over. They built it once, and it sticks around." I opened my Shadow and stepped inside. "Yeah, that''s kind of related to why I ask," I spoke automatically, if awkwardly, as my body returned to my preferred human shape. As I picked up the bear''s memory crystal, I continued unthinkingly. "I want to know if the Gremlins can stop this monster from spawning again." Then I huffed, remembering that my words would sound like gibberish to anyone but Sori. Before I could make a speech bubble, translating my own words, Alice answered. "Yikes. Must have been bad if even y¡ªIt must have been bad." I scowled, looking out from the Shadow. "Wait, you can understand me?" "Yes?" Alice answered. "That''s not new, though." "That fucking eyeball. It told me my words would sound like gibberish without Nia to act as my voice." "Oh," Alice said, sounding uncertain. "I remember you told me that one of the reasons Nia was staying with Hands was so that you''d have access to her voice, somehow, and that there was a time you couldn''t even write or gesture coherently without her. But you were able to use gestures and the speech bubble text. That means she''s ok, right?" I sighed, remembering how I''d been surprised more than once by my relatively improved communication skills compared to the start of the apocalypse. "I don''t know. I''ll be having a chat with Hands next. I''ll let you know if I find out anything. She''ll be fine, though, I promise," I said with as much sincerity as I could manage. I couldn''t afford to save everyone from everything, but I''d draw the line at Nia. She''d been through enough, and I''d asked too much already. I''d make sure she was safe, at any cost. I''d made that as clear as possible to both Sori and Hands. I just hoped they weren''t calling my bluff. "Can you please ask the Gremlins if they can do anything with the crystal to stop its monster from respawning?" I asked, tossing the memory crystal out of the Alcove, where Alice caught it deftly. "Its not wrong you know, helping whoever was being attacked by the monster with that crystal. Helping Nia. It''s important." Alice said, her voice soft, entreating. "I know," I said. "It''s not the help that''s wrong. It''s the cost that others will have to pay, but I won''t. Every person left behind when we evacuate is a price¡ªa debt¡ªone I can''t repay. I know that the struggle for survival will just be getting started when we escape Forest Lake. Before getting trapped here, I was planning on heading to a cabin with Jon, where I fully expected to spend the rest of my life living off the land. If there isn''t surviving infrastructure to help us, many will die¡ªmaybe even most. But it''s the only chance I can give them. I really, really do wish you luck with your organization. You have 48 weeks to collect people. I want to start evacuating in earnest in 23 weeks, aiming to walk at least 500 people out a day. For now, we''ll plan to use the Filton as the evacuation spot. Hands can use his Dreamers to help organize things." "How does this escape actually work? I''ve seen the emergency exit; it can''t hold 500 people, let alone tens of thousands." "I guess we''ll see. According to Sori, everyone will be in stasis until it lets them out. Then again, it''s a compulsive liar, so there''s no way to know for sure." "Then why are you putting so much stock in its words?" "I don''t trust it¡ªif that''s what you mean¡ªbut I can''t afford to ignore it when it says it will eradicate everything. We saw what happened in California. There was nothing left, not even topsoil. That''s what Sori will do to Forest Lake if I stay. It might do it even if I leave. And if it doesn''t, it will only be to make the time loop permanent and perfect, transforming Forest Lake into Sori''s own personal snowglobe where nothing can ever change. A perpetual limbo of useless desperation and struggle. I can''t afford to dismiss either scenario as an empty threat. There''s also the fact that Hands believes Sori is being honest about the way out anyway, and he''s determined to leave with or without my willing participation. That''s why he took guardianship of Nia; she''s a hostage as much as my voice." "She was a hostage," Alice corrected gently. "If you don''t have her voice, it seems like she might not be anymore. Maybe it''s time to stop listening to the things you know are lying to you, even if it''s scary or dangerous. Maybe we can find our own way. That has to be worth the risk. If you follow your fear, only terrorists win." "And if you follow your hopes, you die delusional." "everyone dies." "Oh, I know, I''ve done it several times personally. I''m just hoping to drag as few as possible along with me the final time." "I hate this. I know what I said about Luke''s brother wasn''t fair. I know it was only because of you the Gremlins started taming that Bunny monster." She held up the baseball-sized memory crystal from the Trauma Bear. "I know you try to stop suffering. We should be working together, Sam-" "Call me Oberon, Alice." I interrupted her, anger and frustration at everyone and everything, turning my resigned tone hard. "I don''t get to be some average guy doing his best to defy the odds. You don''t need me for that anyway. You do your best for both of us, and I''ll do what needs to be done for everyone else. I''ll let you know about your sister. Otherwise. Good luck." I walked out of the Alcove and back into my werewolf form, Alice''s eyes following me in concern as I walked past. "Good luck," I heard her say softly behind me. Still, I didn''t turn around even as my heart sank in my chest, aching with a cold isolation I couldn''t quite convince myself was necessary. 100 Get Behind Me I left Alice with a heavier heart than I''d arrived with. I could understand what she was saying, and if I were in her shoes, I''d probably be right there with her. Power to the people and all that, but it wasn''t like I could democratize having a Shadow realm passage to a liminal space that contained a door to the outside world. I couldn''t send Sori around to explain to 100,00 people the state of things and how to escape. Or at least, I didn''t trust that Sori wouldn''t go around making outlandish claims and generally adding more confusion and anarchy than he resolved. For better or worse, I had the only tools of escape for the town, and, like Alice, I didn''t trust anybody else with that much power, even if I could give it away. Doing my best to keep out of sight, I began making my way to the Filton, walking in ditches and taking alleys and side streets to avoid as much attention as possible. Whether or not I could empathize with Alice, I couldn''t agree with her solution¡ªat least not all of it. Grouping people up in combinations that let them piece together their memories and lean on one another for support would make spreading information much easier. The problem would be getting those people to then prioritize communication over saving the same people over and over with little to no lasting gain. Maybe I could modify my pyramid scheme so that, as people earned passage out, they could gift that ''ticket'' to someone else. I''d have less turnover that way, and my recruits would still be able to save their friends and family. For any of this to really be effective, I''d need to be able to change spawn points. My recruits would at least need to spawn near each other, as would anyone they recruited. I was going to need at least 10,000 memory crystals for the people that would gather the rest of the town. Even if I could get by with fewer, it was time to start collecting. I''d told Alice we''d begin evacuation in 23 weeks. That would mean killing more than 400 monsters a week. Taking the memory crystals didn''t stop the monsters from respawning, so I could just kill the same 60 or 70 monsters in each loop. Once I got a few recruits, things should go smoother. Still, I couldn''t ignore the possibility that, between Sori, the Wisps, and other unknown dangers, I might lose more time. I wouldn''t have trouble finding that many monsters, fortunately or unfortunately, but killing four or five hundred monsters per week would either require help or constant effort. I''d also have to be selective about my targets¡ªor upgrade my weaponry¡ªbecause I doubted my sawed-off shotgun was up to the task of killing dozens of monsters a day even if I had the ammo, which I didn''t. I had to cut off my line of reasoning. The task was daunting, and the logistics were just a reminder of how out of my depth I was. I''d need help both to collect people for evacuation and to hunt trauma monsters for their crystals. Of course, I''d already known that and had been in the process of recruiting a dozen people by way of Luke and his patrons. I''d be less irritated with Alice if she hadn''t decided to go behind my back to take my own people¡ªwell, prospective people. Then again, maybe I was reading too much into what she said. After all, Alice was the only one of the bunch who kept all her memories. Just because she said they were doing it one way didn''t mean that was really their stance¡ªor that I couldn''t change their minds. Since I''d been going the scenic route to the Filton, I wasn''t that far away from Luke''s bar. I should stop by to check the results of Alice''s memory types discovery, see if it''s really worth organizing future recruits into small groups. It wasn''t that I doubted Alice''s breakthrough necessarily, but she''d hardly be the first person to see grand opportunity in a pipe dream. Today was pretty much a wash anyway, so even if Luke and them were fully on board with Alice''s plan of saving the people with the most immediate needs rather than planning for the bigger looming problem, I wouldn''t have lost much. I was pretty sure I''d have time to both check on the bar and have a conversation with Hands about Nia. If there was any time left after that, I''d collect supplies and kill monsters. I hadn''t thought to ask Alice how she knew who had which type of memory. Then again, it shouldn''t be that hard to figure out now that she did the hard part of finding the pattern. The categories seemed to be emotions, facts, tropes, and muscle memory¡ªor at least that was my layman''s takeaway. Hopefully, that would be close enough for me to form groups. Some of them should be obvious, like Dalia''s muscle memory. Although, not everyone would sit down to learn a new skill during the apocalypse. Still, there should be signs. In retrospect, Jessica''s and Denis''s emotional reactions to me fit pretty neatly into emotional conditioning. I wondered about the ethics of trying to inspire some strong emotion that could act as a signal in future loops. For better or worse, my monstrous appearance made that more of a likelihood than a necessary psychological experiment. Then there were people like Craig who always knew I was coming and could almost predict it. His was more challenging to be sure about. It could be he remembered something happened at a specific time, which would make it semantic memory¡ªremembering facts¡ªbut I was leaning toward trope memory; Alice called it episodic memory. It seemed like Semantic memories needed a reason to be recalled¡ªa trigger. From what I''d seen, I didn''t think Craig needed that prompt. Instead, he anticipated the event itself, like waiting for a jump scare. Alice, on the other hand, knew me as Oberon even when she didn''t remember actually meeting. So, I should expect someone retaining semantic memories to have that kind of disconnect between their knowledge and where that knowledge came from. Luke was another hard one to tell; he seemed to more or less trust me, but I also knew he retained memories of the Kaiju, at least to an extent. My guess was that he also had episodic/trope memories. He remembered me as an ally and that there would be a big-bad to face. Of course, even before Alice made her discovery about memories, one of the reasons I''d started going to his bar was that people were already talking and recreating their patchy memories. So either Alice''s insights weren''t of much value, or Luke''s people wouldn''t have any trouble remembering they''d disagreed with my course from the start. I''d hoped that a failed and painful attempt or two to even approach the Kaiju would be enough. I needed them to believe me when I said there wasn''t anything we could do, at least not yet, not without more help. That was a possible shortcoming of relying on a group already piecing things together; they were self-organizing and had no reason to trust I knew better. A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation. I''d wanted to take a group of people who''d started piecing things together and use that understanding to get them on my page. It was looking like it would be better to look for smaller groups that could complement each other''s memories with some help from me. Still, hopefully, I could get a better idea of what- ---= Mr. Greg reared back on one foot to chuck the dodgeball full force at the 3rd grader in his line of sight. Overkill, to be sure, if he was just trying to knock his target out. At the last second, Mr. Greg pivoted on his foot without ever consciously planning to. His pirouette spun him about, and¡ªwithout questioning it¡ªhe released the dodgeball at a blur in the air. It met a leaping insectile creature the size of a terrier with a squeal. It had been inches away from pouncing on one of his charges. "Crap!" Mr. Greg spat out the school-allowed curse by habit. "Everybody, get behind me, and give me your balls¡ªone at a time, Steven!" Mr. Greg said as Steven threw two dodgeballs his way, joining a third already bounced over from other students. Experienced P.E. teacher that Mr. Greg was, he brought each under his control with a bounce before briefly stepping on the final one to bring it to a stop by his foot. Swinging a leg back, he booted one dodgeball across the court and directly into the face of the recovering monster. "Mr. Greg! What is it!?" One of the young students managed to ask through the screams of panic. "Target practice," Mr. Greg said. "And an object lesson in why the face is off limits in dodgeball." With that, he whipped another ball at the monster, knocking it off its feet again. ¡°Stay here,¡± he said as he began walking forward. He had one ball left, but with a gesture, he directed another student, Abby, to bounce over a second. The pale-green rad-roach-like creature buzzed its wings and regained its feet, its antenna shivering like a man shaking his head after a hard blow. Its eyes stared vacantly at Mr. Greg, but when the gym teacher reared back for another throw, it hopped out of the way. Unfortunately for the creature, this wasn''t Mr. Greg''s first go at this moment, even if he had no explicit memories of it; his muscles knew what to do, and his eyes knew where to aim. The ball bounced off the wall behind the giant bug, and before the creature could regain its footing from its dodge, the ball struck it in the thorax¡ªor whatever the bug butt is called¡ª and sent it tumbling tail over teakettle, landing once again on its back. Seeing an opportunity, Mr. Greg charged forward, his last ball ready to disorient the bug again if it regained its footing. He reached the monster before it could react, however, and there was nothing it could do to stop the gym teacher from long jumping and landing squarely on its head, feet together and planted. In the way of bugs, it didn''t immediately stop thrashing, but Mr. Greg leaped away the next moment and made sure the students were all clear. At first glance, the gym was empty of other monsters, that was until Mr. Greg glanced up. He didn''t know when it had happened, but pale-green¡ªalmost white¡ª bug monsters had swarmed across the ceiling. He only noticed when one of his female students pointed at the ceiling and screamed. It was at that moment that Mrs. Block shouldered through the swinging doors at one end. "This way, students, Mr. Greg. We''re gathering everyone together in the cafeteria." She said calmly, unconcernedly glancing at the ceiling. "Best hurry. By my memory, we have only moments before they start raining down on everyone. Don''t bother with single file, but no pushing. No one passes me, no one lags behind Mr. Greg. Mr. Greg, I brought you an ax; watch our backs, will you." Mr. Greg wasn''t about to argue, but he''d prefer something with more range than an ax. For one, if they got past him, he''d be charging through students swinging an ax. On a more personal level, he just didn''t like bugs and would prefer not letting them so close. Still, as Mrs. Block tossed him the ax and the wooden handle struck his palm, there was something that felt right about it. "Right," Mr. Greg said, herding students in front of him and out the swinging double doors, holding the strangely familiar ax shaft in two hands. "I''ll guard the rear. What about you, though? We could raid the sporting goods closet and grab some bats." "Unfortunately, that closet is a death trap. Stick close; we''ll be moving fast. Everyone grab the hand of the person to your right and stay between us. I promise you''ll be fine." "How do you know?" one 3rd grader asked. "Because there is nothing I''m more familiar with than this moment right here, right now. You can trust me. Now, then, here we go. Mr. Greg, incoming in 25 seconds." Mrs. Block was a sixty-year-old woman, but she coached the girl''s track and field, so he shouldn''t be surprised she could speed walk down the hallway. At the back of the herd of students, George jogged to keep up, weaving back and forth, eyes searching for any danger that might rear its head, mentally counting down the seconds to the attack Mrs. Block predicted. He didn''t know why she was so certain, but Mr. Greg didn''t feel self-conscious when people knew what he didn''t. Nobody could know everything. He''d learned to trust Mrs. Block and most of the teachers he worked with long ago. As his countdown approached zero, Mr. Greg''s eyes darted about, his ears perked up for any sound. "Now." Mrs. Block said, and at that moment, the drop ceiling crumbled over the students'' heads. With a roar, Mr. Greg broke the lines of held hands like a game of Red Rover and swung the ax over the heads of the students, parallel to the ground, and intersected with the dropping bug. The edge bit through the shell¡ªcarapace?¡ªand sent bug guts splattering against the hall''s lockers. The children screamed and would have panicked, except Mrs. Block spoke up. "Inside voices students, and resume hand-holding. I told you, we''ll protect you." ----= ---=- -memory types were¡ªWhat the fuck? My mind scrambled to catch up. I''d suddenly been somewhere else, a passive observer watching events unfold. Just as suddenly, I was back in my body, which I could only tell by the blue glow of my fur that lit up the space around me. Though it didn''t feel like any time had passed, I was inexplicably in a dark closet. 101 Longing For Civilization Despite the glow of my aura, if it weren''t for the sliver of light shining through the small crack at the bottom of the door, I wouldn''t have been able to see a thing in the dark closet. I''d somehow ended up in a small utility room turned broom closet. There was a water heater, a fuse box, and a smattering of cleaning products and tools. Pressing my ear to the door, I felt around for the handle. When I didn''t hear any sound coming from the room on the other side, I tried to let myself out. Turning the handle, I heard a click from the door unlocking automatically. Did they lock me in a closet without realizing the door wouldn''t stay locked from the inside? I wondered. Then again, maybe the door wasn''t meant to keep me in but to keep curious others out. Pushing against the door revealed they just had other measures in place. The handle turned, but the door wouldn''t open. Then again, the door seemed as cheap as any closet door; I doubted it would be all that hard to bust out. Still, I hesitated. I didn''t know how I ended up in a closet or what that vision was about. One second, I was walking down the street; the next, I was having a disembodied dream or vision of other people trying to survive the apocalypse. The last time something like that happened, I found myself in an unfamiliar¡ªif comfortable¡ªbody talking to a floating eyeball on an impossible ship. Sori had grabbed my mind and yanked me into unconsciousness to have a conversation. Had it done something similar again to show me the school? If so, was it supposed to be a threat? It''d been dismissive of my concern for Nia and even noted that there were others that could be used to keep me in line. Could the vision be a reminder that Nia wasn''t the only child living in this nightmare that could be used as a lever for my bleeding heart? If so, the eyeball had missed the mark. Those kids, though rightfully scared, seemed to be in capable hands, the hands of people using their abilities and understanding to take care of their charges. I honestly found it encouraging. Alice was right; as hellish as this place could be, as limited as their memories of each loop were, people were learning, adapting¡ªfinding or creating the tools to fight back. They only had to hold on for 48 more weeks, less, since evacuating children and their caretakers would certainly be a priority. That said, it made me worry all the more about Nia. What had happened to her that Sori was looking for new levers on me? Then again, I needed to be careful not to jump to conclusions. For all I knew, I''d just been taken out by a fast-acting tranq and had a vivid dream. I''d slept very little since the apocalypse started. It was something that worried Alice and company. Anderson especially had pointed out that using narcotics to have a dreamless sleep wasn''t sustainable, that accumulating weeks and months of memories without sleep left people unbalanced. He argued that I was building up memories but not letting my mind really process them. Unfortunately, there wasn''t enough time for me to waste multiple hours sleeping every few loops¡ªor, more likely, failing to sleep. For better or worse, I could get by without sleep for the time being, and so I would. In any case, I didn''t think my vision was a dream. I''d been hit by a tranq before¡ªand drugged another time on top of that¡ªneither time was I unconscious immediately. There had been no sense of dizziness or blacking out before the vision. I''d been mid-thought when it hit, a thought that completed itself as consciousness returned so that it took me a moment to even realize I''d lost time. Whatever that vision had been, it didn''t get me any closer to understanding how I''d ended up in this closet. I doubted it was part of some plan, considering the lock wasn''t designed to lock someone in, and the door felt cheap and like it would cave beneath my monstrous strength. I opened up my Shadow Alcove. I had axes and crowbars in there that would make breaking through the door even easier, but I didn''t think that was the right call. Whoever had put me in this closet could have just killed me. Between the make-shift cell and the fact that I was alive at all, I suspected they recognized that I wasn''t just some random monster. It was an easy enough realization, considering the fact that I was wearing clothes. With luck, I''d been brought here out of curiosity and concern, but with safety measures in place just in case I wasn''t as civilized as my outfit suggested. Rather than trying to bust my way out, I decided to give my theoretical warden the benefit of the doubt and limited myself to knocking out shave-and-a-haircut on the door. Then I stepped into my Shadow Alcove to give myself a voice and, if they opened the door, a human appearance. "Hello? Is anyone out there?" I asked. This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. Sori had claimed my words were gibberish, but Alice hadn''t had any trouble understanding me at all. Either the eye was lying, and it would hardly be the first time, or Alice had been able to understand me for some other reason, maybe because she was part monster, or maybe something else. Either way, there was a chance that anyone listening would be able to understand me. Even if just the tone of my voice and the polite knocking were understood, it would show my captors my ability to reason and use measured responses. If Luke, and Alice, and the rest couldn''t be convinced to ignore the Kaiju until we had a stronger position, maybe whoever had decided to secure me rather than kill me would join me as new recruits instead. As I knocked and called out, I heard the sound of movement from the other side of the door. "Umm, the boss is coming. Please just wait a minute for everyone''s safety. Your door is under guard." The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn''t immediately place it. The speaker was maybe a tenor and didn''t have any noticeable accent, so there wasn''t much to help me narrow it down. I considered Luke''s patrons. It was possible that I''d been found by people from his bar, people who had vague memories of me but nothing clear enough to be sure I was safe to have around. If that was the case, I hadn''t heard this voice often enough to attach a face to it. "I can wait for a little while," I called back through the door. It was almost strange not to sound like Nia. I''d heard myself using this voice back before Sori captured Nia, but it sounded different in my memory, less flat, with more reverb or something. Then again, maybe I was just looking for signs that the sounds I was making matched the words I was hearing¡ªthat my voice was real. If I was speaking gibberish, I couldn''t tell, so I went on. "Unfortunately, people are depending on me, so I won''t stay put forever. If you can help speed things along, I''d appreciate it." I wanted to sound reasonable, but I also wasn''t willing to waste hours in this spot. I needed to track down Hands and find out what happened to Nia, as well as how he''d ended up taking over the Filton. It was even possible that Hands had been the one to order me locked up. If something had happened to Nia, he might be expecting me to be a bit unreasonable. Sori had said she''d just run away from him, but I wondered why. Nia knew that I was using her voice to try to evacuate the city. I didn''t think adolescent rebelliousness would be enough to make her abandon that duty. Then again, I was still able to speak, even if just inside my Alcove or with the help of illusory speech bubbles; that was definitely not the case before she''d lent me the use of her voice. It really only raised more questions than it answered, making it all the more important that I find Hands and get to the bottom of the mystery, preferably wasting the least amount of time possible. "Um¡ª" the voice started uncertainly before being interrupted by another, more confident voice. "While I can respect that you have obligations, it''s yet to be seen whether I respect those obligations. This invasion was completely unprovoked, and I''ve watched too many good men and women fall to your kind. It''s also yet to be determined what your particular nature is. I''ve seen too many human traitors, collaborators who exchanged their humanity for the strengths of your people. If you''re another such traitor, I and my men will make sure you''re held to account. You''re far more alien than man, however, and I wonder if, instead, you find yourself at odds with your barbarous people, longing for civilization, something that humanity had achieved before your invasion. We may be willing to offer you asylum if you''re looking to change teams. "Uh," I started. This guy''s voice wasn''t familiar at all. I assumed they were male due to their voice''s depth; the machismo with which it oozed only reinforced my guess. He had clearly come to some incorrect assumptions of what was going on. Or, at least, his conclusions were pretty different from mine. Apart from Sori, the most intelligent creatures I''d found were the Gremlins, and they didn''t exactly strike me as intergalactic invaders, living in a trash hut as they were. "My name is¡ªCall me Oberon," I said, hesitating briefly before deciding to stick with ''Oberon.'' Whatever I pretended, whatever Sori and Hands claimed, I still felt like Sam. If anything, I felt more like myself, especially when in the Ether and wearing my preferred form. In an ideal world, I might invest the time and energy into better understanding myself and my identity. I''d always believed that a sizable portion of the world''s problems were caused by a lack of introspection and self-awareness. Somehow, that kind of introspection felt like a luxury I could no longer afford. Still, it didn''t seem to matter whether I was actually the same Sam who had put on a tinfoil hat to laugh at the apocalypse or if I just had all his memories. The latter was too vague for me to really intuitively accept. It wasn''t like I believed in a soul. If I had Sam''s memories and nothing else, I was at least a version of Sam. I just couldn''t afford to be Sam. I couldn''t follow the heart and conscience of Sam, I needed to look at the bigger picture. Oberon was a king in folklore, the king of fairies if I remembered correctly. However much I disliked autocracy, there wasn''t time for democracy and councils and debate. Sam could be all for distributed power; Oberon had decisions to make, priorities to set, and authority to maintain. "You might find this hard to believe, but I''m human," I said through the door with feigned, wishful, conviction. Calling myself Oberon rather than Sam undermined my claim a bit, but it wasn''t like they hadn''t already seen my wolf. They''d know the name was fake, but it was so obviously fake that it wasn''t like I was hiding the fact. "I don''t know how I ended up a werewolf, but if you open the door, you''ll see I''m back to being a regular guy." I heard the man snort from the other side of the door. "Perhaps you are. Perhaps you''ll maintain your innocence and humanity no matter how much we question you. I wonder if you noticed the endoscope poking under the door. That''s a tool our construction workers use to see inside walls. It saw you open a doorway into thin air. That door''s not human technology. Would you like to try again? Or maybe you''d drop the lies altogether, and we can talk as two reasoning beings. Ah, and in case you think we''re unaware of your time-loop technology, we''ve discovered how to use your crystal devices to secure your initialization to this area. Whether we kill you or leave you locked up for the rest of the day, you''ll start tomorrow''s loop right there. I have enough men pointing guns at that thin door to take even a monster like you down, so think carefully before you decide to offer more lies." 102 I Still Am The man''s words drew me up short; "time loop technology?" I recalled my own use of a tin foil hat at the start of all this and the multitude of theories I''d heard and given for the strange vortexes. Somewhere along the lines, the how of the thing became almost unimportant. My captor seemed to think it was all an alien invasion, and for all I knew, he was right. I was pretty sure I wasn''t a part of it though, identity issues and all. While I couldn''t be sure it wasn''t an invasion, I didn''t think it was necessarily intentional, at least not as seen on TV. There were certainly unfamiliar creatures¡ªand the crystals could conceivably be alien tech. The Gremlins and other monsters didn''t strike me as a ground force, however. Sori did have a certain alien tech-ness to it, mainly because it was a floating metal sphere. Then again, Sori seemed pretty disconnected from reality, so not exactly a top pick for a commander. Thus far, I''d had more immediate concerns than trading theories with people. Still, even with all the puzzle pieces I''d managed to gather, I had no idea what picture those pieces made. "I can''t say I have many answers," I said hesitantly, looking along the floor for the aforementioned camera. Spotting it peaking out near one corner of the door, I crouched down to better look into it. "Can I ask who I''m speaking with?" "Before all this, I was Sheriff, and I suppose I still am. I''m not here to talk about me, however. I want to know about you and your kind." The man answered. "Well, Sheriff, before the vortex fell, I was just a guy. I''ve come across a lot of odd things since, but none odder than waking up with a monstrous body. You sound like you''ve had some strange experiences yourself. I''d be happy to trade information. Otherwise, I don''t suppose you''re honoring the phone call and lawyer rules, are you?" The Sheriff snorted. "You know something of us then. No, those rules are meant for times of peace and civilization. Those things are gone. Even if you could find a phone that worked or a lawyer to take your case, I¡¯m the only judge you¡¯ll get. You claim you were just an ordinary person. Why don''t you tell me about that portal you just opened up in thin air? What tool did you use to do that? We didn''t find any crystals on your body." I opened my mouth to not really sure what to say. There wasn¡¯t much chance that the Sheriff knew anything about Sori, and I doubted I''d be doing myself any favors by revealing I knew anything about a weird eldritch eye that claimed to have scheduled the apocalypse. It would be an equally bad idea to admit I picked it up after killing a woman on the ethereal plane, or whatever. I had a suspicion that knowing more than the Sheriff would only get me in more trouble. Besides, there was no reason to share my life story. "I wish I knew," I said. "I fought another monster, one that was hurting some of my friends; afterward, I discovered I had a little pocket closet. Maybe some mons-err- aliens have the ability and it just got transferred to me." Unfortunately, I underestimated the Sheriff''s desire for answers¡ªor overestimated the value he placed on life, at least my life. "So, killing you could give me or my men that ability. Good to know. Men, Kill it." My eyes widened in panic. Not panic for my own impending death. That I was almost used to. No, I''d killed Kay in the ether and taken the Shadow by removing her memory crystal. My panic was from realizing I didn¡¯t know if dying in my Shadow Alcove would afford them the same opportunity. Faster than I could blink or a trigger could be pulled, I leaped forward, my shape snapping back to the wolf as I left the Alcove and slammed my shoulder into the door. Hopefully I could break out before they could take me down, but at least they shouldn¡¯t be able to take the Shadow. Bullets shattered through the door and smashed into me. Between the door and the bulletproof vest they''d kindly left on me, I didn''t immediately go down. I felt the impacts hammer against my chest and flashes of hot pain as shrapnel or lucky shots sliced into my limbs and face. Back at the start of all this, I probably would have gone down right away, overwhelmed by pain and fear. Then again, maybe the panic would have been enough to see me break through the door despite it all. Gunfire continued to ring out as the closet door began to cave. I closed my Shadow Alcove and forced my way through the remnants of the closet door, but I could already feel the blood loss catching up to me. This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. Between reflexive blinks due to impacts and debris and my own fading vision, I didn''t see much of the room on the other side of the closet door. We appeared to be in a gas station or a convenience store. A shelf was overturned between the closet and the plain-clothing deputies shooting at me, acting as cover, presumably in case I shot back. I''d left my weapons in the Shadow Alcove, not willing to risk them, or so I rationalized when I realized I was unarmed. More honestly, it was only as exhaustion weighed down my limbs, making me sluggish, that I began to think defensively. I hadn''t even thought to use an illusion or emotional glamour, not that the door would have made that very easy. I considered a last-ditch illusion, maybe dropping a terror glamour on the Sheriff, if I could get out and spot him, but my vision was getting dark, and for some reason, I seemed to be on the ground. Sighing, I let my head fall to rest on my shoulder as my body continued to shake under the barrage of gunfire. I wondered what it was about being a seven-foot-tall monster that made me always rely on headlong brute force when under pressure. Next time, they won''t know what hit them, I thought as my mind relaxed into oblivion... I woke up in the closet, lying on the floor with a sliver of light shining in my eyes. With a groan, I sat up. There wasn''t yet an endoscope poking under the door to keep watch on me. Presumably this was the start of another loop, checking my body for injuries confirmed it. I needed to assume that the Sheriff would remember everything that had just happened. He didn''t seem likely to be a Hybrid like Alice and Nia, not unless he was a hypocrite to call them traitors. Still, the Sheriff had clearly figured out a way to retain memories, or at least knowledge, across loops. He would hardly be the first. Even if he didn¡¯t remember everything, he likely had a way to retain the parts he found important. If, like Luke''s patrons, he and his deputies were able to piece things together with their scattered memories, maybe even learning to recognize the different memory types like Alice, that could explain what he knew. It would also mean I had a window of time before any guards could be brought up to speed. Then again, the Sheriff clearly knew about memory crystals and their ability to change spawn locations. It wouldn''t be too surprising if he''d learned to use them to write himself notes across the time loops the way Alice had before she absorbed the crystal from her trauma-born monster. It seemed to me I had two options. I could either try to bust down the door right away, or I could create an illusion that made me vanish before they used the endoscope to check on me. There was at least one person on the other side of the door, and I had no reason to think the Sheriff was far away. Then again, while they''d set my spawn point to inside the gas station closet, it certainly wasn''t likely to be their home base. Most likely, there was only one or two people outside the door. I doubted I was priority enough that the Sheriff had changed his own spawn point. It all depended on the value they placed on me. They knew of other Hybrids, which was hardly a surprise since the traumas and their associated monsters were everywhere. The Sheriff had talked about them as "traitors," so he was at least aware of they were around. It wouldn''t be beyond expectation that I was just one of his captives, which I really couldn¡¯t afford to worry about anytime soon. The Sheriff also seemed to think I might be entirely alien, not a hybrid, so that might change the value he put on keeping me confined. If they had me under enough guard that brute force wouldn''t work, then depending on my illusions was the best choice. However, if I underestimated them again, or if I wasn''t under heavy guard, then I''d have revealed an ability they didn''t know about, making any future dealings unnecessarily harder. After a moment to plan, I stood up and faced the door, backing up as far as I could. Unless the Sheriff really was a hypocrite and employed human-monster hybrids, anyone he had guarding me should be confused and disoriented by the time loop. If I didn''t give them a chance to piece things together, escape should be relatively easy. Preparing a terror glamour to drop on whoever I saw first, I launched myself at the door, shoulder first. Without a stream of bullets weakening it, the door only splintered and caved in a bit at my first strike. I heard excited voices on the other side of the door but only made out the word "fire" before bullets began to break through the wood, some hitting me or my vest, others missing entirely. Ignoring the pain, I slammed into the door a second time, this time bending it enough that the latch slid free and the door swung open. As I stumbled forward into the cordite-filled store, the gunfire hiccuped as the deputies caught sight of me. Then, my own momentum faltered as I caught sight of a familiar face. Two bullets took me in the throat before I could recover. I choked and gagged as my hands tried to stem the bleeding while I stared. I managed a few more steps, but the shooter was either lucky or skilled enough to have hit something vital, and I could tell I wasn''t escaping this time. None of which mattered to me at that moment. Behind the shelf that, for some reason, was already on its side, Jon was in a shooting crouch, his face blank as he fired at me, neither surprised nor concerned. Dammit, not again. Please. 103 To Keep Law And Order I''d been here before. I lay on the floor of the closet, light shining in my eyes from underneath the door. My chest was tightening, and my jaw clenching. I wanted to cry. Jon was on the other side of that door. Despite the weeks I''d spent in this form, there was still an unfamiliarity to the things I felt. I was used to the tightening of my chest¡ªthe ache in my stomach; less familiar was the drooping of my ears and the sagging of my tail. It was like giving up, emotional defeat. Was this my fate? A never-ending kill-or-be-killed scenario with my friend, who looked at me as not just a stranger but as a monster. The friend who got me through school with my sanity intact? The brother of my childhood as the enemy of my life? Impossible. I''d been here before, waking up on the floor of the hospital bathroom, knowing there was no path forward that didn''t include going through Jon. No path that didn''t cast me as a monster in his eyes, an unnatural evil that needed to be rejected and denied at every turn. For the sake of Nia and my allies, I''d pulled myself together long enough to get through Jon before. I killed him with my own hands. Even knowing the day would loop and his death would be temporary¡ª even knowing he wouldn''t remember much¡ªif anything¡ªit was hard. My body, heavy with an unwillingness to accept I was once again in this situation, refused to move, even as the sound of voices reached my ears. "I''m going to ask one more time, do either of you have any idea how we got here?" A voice asked, presumably one of the other deputies. Jon snorted, and at the familiar sound, my lips instinctively twitched, ready to be in on the joke. "You need to learn to roll with the punches," He said. "Clearly, whatever''s happening is related to those weird vortexes dropping all over the place. It''s the end of the world, man. Are you really worried about a little lost time? We''re literally wearing vests with the words ''Guard the Hostile Alien'' taped to our chests. It''d be weirder if we weren''t confused." A few weeks cut off from the world, and I''d largely stopped considering what it might be going through. I''d known even before getting trapped in Forest Lake that the world likely wouldn''t recover in my lifetime. When we left through my escape hatch, we''d be returning to a breaking world, presumably on the same day we got trapped. For me, that all seemed so long ago; for Jon, it had just happened. "Let me get this straight, you wake up in a strange place-" "Strange place? It''s a Stop''n''Slurp." Jon interrupted. "Without any real idea how you got there, and your response is to just go on with your day?" "Obviously not. I''m guarding that door, and so are you." Jon replied, the sound of metal sliding on metal telling me he had just cocked his gun. "Is that a threat?" the other man growled. "If it was a threat, the gun would be pointed at you, not the closet. It''s an observation. Somehow, I doubt whoever put us here picked us at random. We''re supposed to guard that door; we were equipped to guard that door. Besides, I want to know what these aliens that attacked our planet look like. Aren''t you curious?" Jon replied, unconcerned with the man''s threatening tone. "You really think there''s an alien in there?" The doubter asked. "It''s in there." A third voice said, his tone grim. I closed one eye to try to focus my other eye under the crack, but I couldn''t make out much beyond a shelf lying on its side. There were a few loose bags of chips on the floor, but nothing scattered around like you''d expect from tipping over a shelf. "Not that I disagree," Jon said, "But what makes you say so." "I just know. I can feel it. There''s something terrible in there. Evil." "Something evil? Yeah, it could be. Something hostile for sure." Jon replied." "You two are really just going to ''roll with the punches'' with something this weird? You wake up sitting on a shelf wearing a badge and a bullet-proof vest with surreal orders on them, and you just nod and go along with it." "Hey, what''s your name?" Jon asked. "Henry." "Well, Hank, if you want to go take a peak inside, I won''t stop you; I''m as curious as anything else, but I''ve seen enough movies to know that if you can''t adapt, you''ll end up dead." "Which is exactly what will happen if you open the door." The grim-sounding man said. "Are you threatening me:" Henry asked. "Henry, he''s warning your dumb-ass. Hey, Mr. Serious, you have a name?" "Phillip. Yours?" "The name''s Jon, Phillip. Thanks for asking; our friend Henry here was too panicked to be polite." "I think the polite thing is giving your name first," Phillip replied stoically. "Fuck that. If someone wants to know about me, they should ask." Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. "I wasn''t going to open the door." Henry offered up defensively, "But I don''t understand why you two are willing to crouch behind that shelf and stare at a door." "Let me ask you this, Henry. What''s the last thing you remember?" "I''d just sat down to eat a late lunch-" "Oh, nice, anything good?" Jon interrupted. "Just a frozen dinner, nothing special. I''d only just started eating it, too." "That reminds me, I skipped lunch. Either of you spot me for a bag of chips? I don''t carry cash, and there''s no one manning the register." Jon said. "It''s a bag of chips," Henry answered, bemused, "Just take it, who''s going to care?" Jon sighed. "Henry, we don''t just live in a society with rules; we have a society because of rules. Seriously, tho. Neither of you have any money? Whatever, I guess I don''t need the carbs anyway, right Phillip? You look like you lift." What were my options here. I could do an illusion, but I''d never tried to create an illusion where I couldn''t see and I wasn''t confident I even could. Not a great plan A. This could be the perfect chance to talk to Jon. My voice wouldn''t be familiar to him, but we''d grown up together, there were a million moments that only the two of us knew about, bringing him around wouldn''t be that hard... except, eventually I''d have to leave my Shadow, and Jon would see my Wolf. While I didn''t know Jon''s memory type for sure, emotional conditioning seemed likely. He''d reacted coldly and suspiciously toward me every time he saw my monster form. Even when I managed to tell him my real identity, he wasn''t willing to give me the chance to prove myself. Would he react any different to seeing my wolf after being mysteriously deputized for the task of guarding me? I doubted it. It was more likely he felt like he''d just started on an adventure, he almost sounded giddy. Soon enough he''d realize he wasn''t Frodo and my broom closet wasn''t Narnia. I mean, my Shadow Alcove was /kind of/ Narnia, or rather the Ether on the other side was. I guess that made my Shadow Alcove kind of like the Wardrobe /leading/ to Narnia... Maybe I should tell them my name is Mr. Tumnus. I honestly hadn''t expected the Sheriff to give me so long to make a plan. The minutes ticked by, and apart from the trio making conversation and speculating on what they were guarding, nothing happened. I didn¡¯t even know why I was being guarded and not gunned down. Maybe the Sheriff planned to just keep me prisoner. Then again, the Sheriff clearly didn''t respect life enough to keep me alive on principle. Since Jon and friends had been given a guard order and not a kill order, presumably that meant the Sheriff still wanted something from me. Hopefully he wasn''t planning to torture me for the secrets of my shadow and the invasion or anything. It was somewhat tempting to try to trick Jon into thinking I was just some guy, confused as to why he was locked in a closet. But from what I''d overheard, Jon already viewed me as a hostile, and some guy named Phillip was ready to call me evil, and both viewed me as a lethal threat. I knew from experience that that level of distrust wouldn''t be overcome easily. The last thing I wanted was for Jon to start associating his memories of his friend with that same level of distrust. Which meant, for now, I wasn''t willing to reveal my real identity. It was a risk, but waiting probably was my best bet. Worst case scenario, I wasted another loop. Not ideal, but it might be worth the risk for the chance at gaining the Sheriff''s authority. Without a clock or watch I didn''t know exactly how long I waited there listening to Jon and friends, and planning illusions and glamours that might help in a pinch, but after about a half an hour Jon was complaining about skipping lunch again. "I mean, my whole life I never needed to carry cash. You two are a bit older though, neither of you have a dollar? You know what I''m going to do. I''ll leave a note and my driver''s license. Then I''ll come back and pay later." "I hate to be the one to tell ya guy, but Forest Lake has been swallowed by the the Green Haze. Besides, the world is over, whatever survives this green plague isn''t going to use American money. Nobody is going to get your note, no body is going to ring up your bag of chips, just take it." Henry said. "I''m Not sure you''ve noticed, but we''re all wearing deputy badges. You''ve heard of being deputized, right? That means it''s our job to not let it end. We do that by holding to the standard of law and just." Henry Scoffed, "Whatever you say Lancelot, but I was never deputized, at least not by choice." "You were." The Sheriff''s voice said, accompanied by the sound of his footsteps entering the store. "Like all of you, I have only spotty memories of how we got here, but I always give my deputies a choice, Henry. I can show you the videotape if you need proof." //Video Tape?// I wondered before nearly gasping as I had an epiphany. //Has he found a way to 50-First-Dates the time loops¡ªto leave himself video messages that could survive the resets? How?// I¡¯d not spent much time worrying about memories or keeping records, because I was apparently that short sighted. Even just putting messages on clothing with electrical tape was incredibly clever, but there were limits. I already knew from experimenting in the bathroom, that setting a spawn point affected anything on my person; clothing, bags, hats, items being held, etc, would all be included at respawn, so would anything I was dependent on, like a chair. It almost worked on Jenga rules. The loop wouldn''t remove a piece that would crash the tower. But that kind of thing didn¡¯t have great precision. A note written with paper and ink would be smudged to illegibility without using a dedicated Crystal like Alice had done, but even then, the area was small. It was the video tapes that was the real winning idea, and I could potentially see Alice¡¯s technique working on film, although I suspected it would degrade enough to make digital tape useless, so I¡¯d need to find some decades old equipment at a pawn shop or something. I sighed. For all I¡¯d been living with the time loop for months, I wasn¡¯t exactly taking to it like a duck to water. I needed to be better about using the quirks of the apocalypse to my benefit. The privilege of retaining all my memories meant I wasn¡¯t trying to solve this problem. Of course obtaining memory crystals was dangerous and useful enough already that I¡¯d done very little experimentation with other applications. Still, there was promise there, the Sheriff¡¯s use of memory crystals to organize and deputize new people was proof of that. Taking some deep breaths, I sat up. In a moment, I expected the Sheriff or one of the deputies to shove the endoscope under the door. No doubt, after killing me the first time, they''d tried to claim my memory crystal and Shadow. As Alice had discovered while doing brain surgery, and Pastor Kay had discovered when making drones, humans only had crystals in their heads when they were alive. Whatever I was, I was human enough that still seemed to apply to me, or no doubt I''d have once again woken up without any memories of my Shadow or anything else since the Vortex touched down. I wondered if Sori would bother getting involved again. I didn¡¯t really know enough about his motive to guess. Luckily it didn¡¯t come to that. I missed some of the conversation as my mind wandered. I repositioned and looked around when I heard someone approach. There was the sound of what I assumed was the endoscope sliding under the down, on a whim, I grabbed some fresh towels off a shelf and lined the bottom of the door, blocking the camera as well as most of the light. Since I''d taken the Shadow from Kay, my Aura had been significantly dimmed. While I had a lantern and flashlights in my Shadow Alcove, groping along the wall revealed a light switch and proved my past preparation unnecessary. "Hey Now," the Sheriff said as I blocked the camera, "Let''s not be uncooperative here. We both know that portal can''t take you out of there, so why not cooperate and see if we can both walk away satisfied." I opened up my Shadow Alcove, positioning the entrance against one of the side walls, so it would be harder¡ªmaybe impossible¡ªto hit me by shooting through the door. "Sure, let''s just gloss over the fact that you just killed me, a sapient person, on the off chance that my death would benefit you." "All is fair in love and war, and you, whatever you are, person or not, are certainly part of this war. Besides, I think we both know it wasn''t your first death. At the very least, it''s unlikely to be your last." 104 If Youre Telling The Truth Chapter 32: If You''re Telling The Truth This wasn''t going to work. Likely, I could get myself out of this situation with a combination of brute force, strategic illusions, and multiple attempts. With luck, I wouldn''t waste too many loops trying to escape. However, if the illusions attracted the Wisps, I could quickly lose track of time again. Maybe I could join up instead. Alice was right; this was more than one person could handle. The deputies were a bit trigger-happy, but they were at least organized, and they''d begun learning the rules of this place. Both things were still pretty rare out there, even if people seemed to be figuring things out in fits and starts. Besides, assuming this guy was actually the Sheriff, he had real authority¡ªeven if that authority wasn''t designed for a situation like this. Still, if I could get him on my side, I had no doubt he''d be a huge asset. I imagined he had to have some kind of procedure for evacuating Forest Lake, even if it couldn''t have been meant for these purposes. If nothing else, there were certainly plenty of people who would be looking to¡ªand for¡ªfamiliar authority figures for guidance. And, if I were honest with myself, it would put Jon and me back on the same team. That alone was nearly reason enough to ignore the rest. It would all depend on how much I could get the Sheriff to listen to me. Unlike with Alice and Luke, I doubted I''d have the same issues getting him to see the bigger picture or play the long game. "Look," I said, still not uncovering the endoscope, "Last time we spoke, you asked me if I was willing to switch sides¡ªwell, that is¡ªuntil you thought you''d get more out of me dead. I guess you can tell that''s not an option." "Not at all. I''ve always been a proponent of ''try try again,''" the Sheriff replied confidently, as though he had not a care in the world. "But, please, go on. What do you have to offer? Why don''t you start with who you are and what you want from us." I really didn''t want him to blame me for the apocalypse, partly because it would make him expect more answers than I had¡ªor could easily invent¡ªand partly because I had suspicions that Jon''s memories were limited to conditioned emotions. If I let the Sheriff paint me with that brush, Jon might end up carrying context-free hatred for me. "I didn''t cause any of this to happen; I just¡ª" Just what? ''Found it this way?'' I asked myself, having no real idea how to finish the sentence. The Sheriff clearly wasn''t willing to believe I was a person before all this; I doubted he''d be any more willing to believe I just stumbled across the apocalypse. I was tempted to pull a Sori and claim I was just a secretary who scheduled the apocalypse. Then again, a secretary would know more than I''d be able to BS. In the end, I didn''t want to carry even that much blame. That line of thinking did give me an idea, however. "I''m just a janitor, a glorified trash collector. I didn''t have a say in what happened here. But I think I can help. More importantly, I think you can help. You can save everyone in town if you work with me." "Well, I suppose that depends on what exactly you count as trash," the Sheriff answered drolly. "I can''t imagine you out there picking up scraps of paper or loading trash bags into a truck." "Sheriff, my gut tells me it''s lying," Jon said, reinforcing my belief that he was an EC rememberer. It was possible he was an episodic rememberer, but I felt like he''d have a better grasp on the events since the vortex touched down if so. I was still trying to understand Alice''s categories, but either way, I was determined to get Jon on my side. We could deal with my real identity later on. Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon. "I can prove some of it. I can open a portal in the air. Do you remember that Sheriff?" "Let''s say that I do and that I''m confident you can''t use it to escape." "Right. Because it''s not an escape. It''s a combination garbage truck and incinerator. Or at least it does the job of each." "And what exactly is the trash you collect." Obviously, I wasn''t walking around picking up litter. What had Sori said the garbage collector was for? It was something to do with the time loops. Maybe that was enough. "It''s my job to clear away the parts of this town that prevent the day from looping cleanly. You aren''t supposed to remember anything. I go around getting rid of the parts that are causing the loops." "That''s not a great reason for me to trust you. It seems to me that the safest bet would be to keep you locked away as long and as securely as possible. The time loops give the advantage to the humans; they must, or your kind wouldn''t employ people like you." The Sheriff said without a hint of uncertainty. "They do, and they don''t," I said, thinking about the multiple painful deaths I''d personally experienced and knowing I was hardly the only one. "But even if I agreed completely, it doesn''t matter. The loops will only last another forty-some weeks. After that, everything will be destroyed down to bedrock. You saw it before on the west coast." "And what exactly is it you''re offering?" "A way out." "Sheriff," Jon started, but the Sheriff interrupted. "I know Jon. You don''t trust it, and that''s smart. You know what I wonder? I wonder why you collapsed on that road. Do you have a name?" I''d told the Sheriff my name was ''Oberon'' before, and I''d told Jon I was Sam. Jon hadn''t believed that, and I didn''t think he remembered it anyway, so my best bet was to stick with Oberon. "Call me Oberon." "King of the fairies? That''s a lofty name for garbage collector." the Sheriff noted. "But it''s at least consistent with what you told me before." Which told me he''d taken care to retain our previous conversation when he''d failed to steal the Shadow from me. "A child I rescued gave it to me. I couldn''t speak at the time, and by the time I could, it was easier to keep using it." "And where''s this child now?" "I left her in the care of another. I was on my way to check on her when I blacked out. I''m told I should sleep more." The Sheriff knew too much about me as it was. Besides, it wasn''t like I really knew what that vision had been about. For all I knew, I really did black out from lack of sleep, and that vision had just been a weird dream. To know for sure, I''d have to keep an eye out for that school and those teachers as I worked to evacuate people, but in the meantime, I just hoped I wouldn''t black out again at an unlucky moment. "Mmmhmm," The Sheriff said, unwilling to reveal how he weighed my words. "So, you think you have an evacuation route out of town. Tell me where to go, and I''ll send some men to check it out. If you''re telling the truth, I think we could swing offering you Asylum." "Unfortunately, it doesn''t work like that." "Oh, believe me, that''s being generous. You''re a prisoner of war, and as an alien, you don''t qualify for humane treatment. There''s no international law on how we treat extraterrestrial invaders." Yikes, I thought before clarifying. "No, I mean, the evacuation route is a one-time-use escape hatch. It''s also the only way out that I know of." "So, it''s your way or the highway?" "No. It''s not my way," I corrected him, feeling like I was talking to Alice all over again. "It''s the way I have to offer. Do you know of another way out?" "I''m not an invader. But if I were, I would certainly have more than one escape plan." "Well, I guess I didn''t need to know more than one. You said my portal couldn''t let me escape. You''re wrong. There is an exit to that portal, but if I use it, everyone in town will either be destroyed or stuck living the same day without memory, your city playing out its last day on repeat forever, part snow-globe, part cage, for beings so beyond either of us that we''ve not even seen them." "Even you don''t know who you work for?" "I work to live, but I didn''t sign up for destroying people." "What did you sign up for?" "Seeing tomorrow." "Well. Just following orders, then?" "Clearly not. Not anymore." "And how many have suffered because of you?" "What about you? You''re an officer of law; you''ve never arrested or harassed an innocent? Never fined or imprisoned someone for the crime of having nowhere safe to sleep, scattering their few meager possessions to the wind as you do? You''ve never pulled someone over for looking different than your parents? You killed me, and I am earnestly just trying to help. You can honestly say you haven''t made mistakes?" "My mistakes haven''t ended a world." "Neither have mine. I''m just here. I''m just trying my best. Let me help you." "Pretty words, sheriff," Jon said, cautioning him again not to trust me. "What about you other two. Do you think the alien is just saying what I want to hear?" I didn''t hear what the others said, but I didn''t think it really mattered. The Sheriff struck me as someone who made up their own mind. After a minute, he said. "Fine. But there are conditions. "To begin with, you''ll stay by my side. Under no circumstances will you approach a crystal or any dead alien with an unharvested crystal, and every one of my men will have orders to kill you if you leave my side. If we have to kill you, you''ll find yourself right back here. You leave my side or make any effort to change your starting position, and we''ll end you. Secondly, I want to see this emergency exit."