ã€ŠBeast Bride (BL)ã€‹


 Chapter One

    I was only fourteen years old the day my whole world fell apart. It was the day I learned that the world wasn''t the warm and happy place I believed it to be. It was the day I lost everything.

    No, not the day I lost everything. The day it was taken from me. The day I first saw what cruelty and evil truly looked like. The day my father found me.

    And it was on that day that I lost my ability to speak. It wasn''t until many years later, long after I''d given up on things like hope and happiness, that I found the will to regain my voice.

    I''d grown up in a small town in the east of the Kingdom of Vrayna, near the border with the Beastlands. My mother earned money by washing and mending clothes, working from sunrise to sunset to ensure that I never went hungry.

    I spent my days playing by the river, tending our small vegetable garden, and earning copper coins by running small errands for the townsfolk. If I never knew luxury, I never lacked for anything either. I had a full belly and I was loved.

    On the day they came for us, it was an unusually hot day in the middle of summer, nearing the end of the seventh moon cycle. I was on my way home with three copper coins in my pocket, having just finished a very profitable afternoon of shoveling horse dung at the local stable.

    It was hard work, and I reeked of sweat and dung, but earning a copper for every hour I worked gave me a great sense of pride. Usually, I could only manage to earn three coppers in a whole week. Three coppers was enough to buy us rice or flour for days, or perhaps even some meat.

    It was early evening when I began making my way back to our humble home at the edge of the forest. The sky had just begun to turn a gentle shade of orange and there was a gentle breeze blowing, just enough to offer some relief from the day''s heat.

    Summer would soon give way to autumn when the leaves would change color and the trees would bear fruit. With the sun hidden by distant trees, the walk home felt cool and refreshing after the hours I''d spent working in the heat.

    The stable had a thatched roof to protect the horses from the elements, so the sun hadn¡¯t burnt my skin. However, I was sticky and sore from the afternoon''s work, my body was still radiating residual heat, and I smelled particularly awful.

    I decided to make a detour to the river to wash off the worst of the dirt and sweat from my body. Copper coins or no, it was likely that I would be scolded if I returned home in such a state.

    The cold water felt pleasant on my sweaty, hot skin, and I used some sand and small stones to scrape the dust and dung off my body. I took off my shirt, wet it, and wrung it out several times until the water ran clean.

    By the time I was done, it was late enough that the sky had taken on a hue that resembled the embers of a dying fire, the last few moments before twilight officially came.

    It was around the time that my mother usually finished cooking dinner, and I wanted to get home before the food got cold. I hadn''t eaten since morning, and my stomach grumbled in protest after the day''s hard work.

    I pulled my wet but much cleaner shirt back on and shivered slightly from the cold. Ah, I thought, that feels much better. The chilling sensation of the cold, wet shirt against my skin was a pleasant contrast to the constant heat that pervaded the summer months.

    The combination of the cold water and the fresh breeze revived me. Hungry and energized, I decided to run the rest of the way home.

    I was a few minutes from home when I realized something was amiss. The path that lead to our house was surrounded on both sides by trees and brush, and no matter what time of day it was, you would always hear the chirping of birds, the snapping of branches, and the rustling of forest creatures moving about. That evening, the ever noisy forest was eerily silent.

    I stopped running and stood still for a moment to catch my breath and listen to the forest. Other than the sound of my light panting, there wasn''t a single noise to be heard. The trees that lined the path, which usually felt like they were guiding me home, felt ominous, like they were warning me to turn back.

    However, an impending sense of dread was building inside me. Instead of turning back, I picked up the pace and raced toward my house.

    As I ran, it felt like eyes were watching me from the trees. Dark eyes, angry eyes, eyes that wanted to harm me. I did my best to ignore that feeling and hurried home to my mother.

    Before I even got to the clearing where our house was, I could hear my mother screaming from inside. I stopped while I was still covered by the trees and crouched behind to a bush, trying to swallow the overwhelming fear that gripped me. Mom needed me. I had to figure out a way to help her.

    I peered around the bush and saw a couple of horses waiting in our open yard, but I didn''t see any people. The screams that echoed out the open front door told me that they were probably inside.

    I crept forward, trying to be as quiet as possible, but there was no cover to hide my movements. As soon as I was close enough to almost see inside the door, someone grabbed me from behind and pushed me inside.

    ¡°Well, look at what I found skulking about,¡± my captor called out, ¡°I¡¯ve got the kid. We don¡¯t need this bitch to talk no more.¡±

    Inside the house, I could see my mother, her wrists bound behind her back, bent over the table where we usually ate. A skinny man with black hair was pressing her face into the table with violent force. His pants were down around his knees and he looked frustrated as he paused his rough thrusting for a moment to look at us.

    "Come on! We only just got started," the man protested, "can''t we have some more fun with her before we leave?"

    "Hah, I didn''t say the fun was over, did I? I just said she doesn¡¯t need to talk." My captor twisted my arm painfully behind my back and forced me to move forward toward the table as he said, "We¡¯ve got all night boys. Let''s show this little bastard what happens to whores who run away."

    I felt bile rise in my throat as the black-haired man continued his assault with renewed vigor. He grabbed my mother by the hair and forcefully lifted her head so she could see me, before smashing it back down on the table, laughing merrily as he did so. The look in his eyes was the most terrifying thing I¡¯d ever seen.

    In violation of my will, my body went limp from the shock and horror. I wanted to fight them. I wanted to bite my captor''s hand and stop these evil bastards, but all I could do was watch helplessly as my mother cried and begged for mercy.

    The sun had risen again before they were finished with her. There were five men in all, and they took turns beating and raping her through the night. I was forced to watch the whole thing, one of them always holding me in place to make sure I didn''t miss a single moment.

    One of them amused himself by giving me a play-by-play of what they were doing every time I tried to close my eyes or look away. He gleefully described their awful violence, telling me how much she secretly enjoyed it, that she was getting what she deserved.

    The black haired man seemed determined to harass me in other ways, fondling me through my pants and licking my ear. He probably would have done worse to me if the others hadn''t stopped him. They told him I was the Duke''s property and not to be used. He took his disappointment out on my mother, watching me with lustful eyes the entire time.

    From the verbal abuse they hurled at her, I learned that my poor, commoner mother had once been a servant to the Duke of Ramport, the southern Duchy of Vrayna.

    My mother''s beauty had attracted the Duke''s attention, so he¡¯d imprisoned her and forced himself upon her almost every night for a full moon cycle, eventually resulting in a child: me. After I was born, she somehow found a way to flee the duchy and disappeared.

    You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    The duke''s wife had borne him a single daughter. After a difficult childbirth, she was left barren and without hope of ever giving him a son. My mother was my father''s solution to that problem. Even if he adored his little girl, an illegitimate son was still more useful than a daughter.

    So he searched for my mother for years, and finally found her by chance, thanks to information from a traveling merchant who had passed through our town. He sent his men to find me and told them to dispose of her in whatever way they pleased.

    The morning sun was already shining brightly in the sky when they slit my mother''s throat and left her broken body for the animals.

    Somewhere during that long night, my mind could no longer handle what they were forcing me to watch. The violence, the pain, and the sorrow were all too much for me. With nowhere else to turn, I retreated inward, desperate to escape from the horrors in front of me.

    I hoped and I prayed. I willed myself to be anywhere but where I was.

    And then it was like a switch flipped in my brain. The part of me that was present in that moment went away. I felt myself drifting and came back to awareness inside of a thick, gray fog. A place where there was nothing at all. I couldn''t hear the screams. I couldn''t see the violence. I wasn''t there anymore.

    After they threw my mother away, I was vaguely aware of them binding my wrists behind my back and tossing me into a wagon.

    I think one of them poured cold water on me, hoping to get a reaction, but I was too far gone to care.

    Tied up in the back of their wagon, and completely disconnected from the things I couldn''t accept as reality, they took me to meet my father.

    After a few hours on the road, my arms were screaming from the pain of having my wrists bound so tightly. The sun climbed higher in the sky, and the heat from its rays soon became unbearable as it shone down on the open wagon.

    I slipped in and out of awareness as we traveled. Despite my hopes that I would drift away forever, the gnawing pain from my bound wrists and the sun that burned my skin kept forcing me back to lucidity. But soon the terror and sorrow would overwhelm me again and I''d let myself slip back into nothingness, embracing the mindless fog whenever it returned to me.

    The horrors I had witnessed were still fresh in my waking mind but I didn¡¯t have the luxury of things like self-pity or mourning, so I went to a place where I couldn¡¯t feel anything and tried to forget my own existence.

    When my kidnappers stopped for a midday rest, I was finally forced to completely emerge from the fog and assess my situation. They untied my aching arms but immediately retied them with my hands in front of me. It was still too tight, but not so tight as to cause permanent damage.

    It was clear that they had been ordered to return the Duke''s son in relatively good condition, and I probably wouldn''t be seriously injured by them. I had hoped they would kill me, so there was little relief in that knowledge, only a numbing sense of disappointment.

    They agreed it would be better if they didn''t have to deal with me while traveling, so they decided to drug a flask of water and force me to drink it. I tried to refuse, but they held my nose closed until I was forced to open my mouth for air, and the contents of the flask were poured down my throat.

    Instead of the grey fog I''d been floating in, a deep pit of blackness awaited me and I fell into its depths. That was the last thing I remember before arriving in Ramport.

    When I regained consciousness again, we were navigating our way through the narrow streets of a city, passing through a crowded marketplace full of stalls and people. The sights and smells overwhelmed my senses.

    The market in our small border town couldn''t compare to the vibrant scene surrounding me. Had the circumstances been different, it might have been an experience of wonder and delight. But as it was, the bright colors and loud voices made my head spin, and the smell of the food stalls turned my stomach.

    I wanted to go home. I wanted my mother. I wanted to die.

    We sped through the market at record pace, and soon we were on a lonely road that led to a glittering mansion in the distance.

    The mansion itself was a brilliant shade of white, four stories high, with a white stone path leading up to it. Beautiful flowers of every color adorned the grounds. A large terrace surrounded the house, encompassed by a gold and white railing. Where the white stone path ended, a grand staircase began, intersecting the deck and leading up to the majestic golden front door. My father, the Duke, stood at the foot of the gold and white staircase, as if he had somehow anticipated our exact time of arrival.

    My father was a well-built man of middle age, no longer youthful in appearance, but still full of vigor and life. He had dark brown hair and piercing green eyes; eyes that perfectly matched mine in color, but possessed a cold, calculating quality that mine certainly lacked.

    I was graced with my mother''s light hair color, a pale reddish blonde, and I shared her gentler, more rounded features. The Duke had a sharp, hawkish face, with a hooked nose and thin mouth.

    But there was no mistaking those eyes; he was indeed my father.

    Next to him stood two women who were undoubtedly mother and daughter. Despite their obvious age difference, they were clearly cut from the same cloth.

    Both were remarkable beauties with full, pouting lips and bright blue eyes. The mother had blonde hair, fine and silky, that shone with a silver sheen in the sunlight. The daughter, my half sister, had darker hair that resembled her, no, our father''s. They both looked at me with hostile gazes, making no effort to hide their contempt.

    All three of them were immaculate in appearance, which only served to emphasize my own shabbiness.

    I was dragged from the back of the wagon and thrown on my knees before them. I was sunburned, dirty, and I can only imagine how badly I must have smelled. My tattered clothes, which weren''t very good to begin with, clashed with the scenery around me.

    Not that I cared how I looked to them. These people weren''t my family, they were my kidnappers and the people responsible for my precious mother''s suffering. I hated them already.

    "You dealt with the mother?" My father, the Duke, spoke to my captors first.

    "Haha, we sure did. We took real good care of her," laughed a brown-haired man with a thick mustache, who I had come to understand was the leader of the group.

    "Ain''t that right?" said the black-haired scum next to him. "She cried real pretty for me." He laughed like it was a big joke to him. The memory of his hands on my body made my stomach churn.

    I could barely breathe as I choked down the vomit that was rising in my throat. How could these people even be considered human? I kept my head down as I took ragged breaths, trying to hold back the tears that stung my eyes. No, I refused to let them see me cry.

    "Pray tell me, Sir Tarlon, was it painful?" I don''t know what surprised me more, the fact that her words indicated that the filthy human in front of me was a knight, or the disgustingly sweet tone in which my father''s wife spoke. The anticipation in her voice sickened me.

    "My lady, most beautiful Duchess of Ramport, I assure you that I took every precaution to ensure her last night on earth was as painful and humiliating as possible. Her screams echoed through the forest for hours," Sir Tarlon assured her with a smile.

    "Excellent. That whore thought she could seduce my husband and steal his progeny? I am glad to hear that she has been well punished for her evil deeds." I looked up to see a self-satisfied smile on the Duchess'' face. Her daughter beside her looked almost gleeful.

    "Right, you''ll get your bonus pay in three days," the Duke said to the group of knights, dismissing them. Then he turned to see my figure still collapsed on the ground at the foot of the stairs. "On your feet, boy. I''ve been looking for you for quite some time, and it took a lot of effort to get you here, so you best not disappoint me."

    I remained on my knees, my eyes fixed on the ground in front of me. Perhaps, if I showed enough defiance, I would get lucky and he would kill me outright.

    I felt a rough hand grab my hair and pull me to my feet. Forced to look up, I silently met my father''s eyes.

    "Make no mistake, I saved you from your life as a commoner. I freed you from the life of poverty that your whore of a mother condemned you to. So now, you must obey me, do you understand?" the Duke asked in a threatening whisper, "You will act as my heir, do as I say, and I will not allow you to embarrass me. It''s bad enough that you''re the son of some useless bitch who couldn''t even open her legs properly."

    I gazed directly into his eyes as he spoke. I could see his contempt for me clearly reflected in those familiar yet alien green eyes. I was sure he could see the defiance in mine as well.

    He dropped me to the ground and landed a sharp kick to my ribcage.

    I coughed and sputtered, overwhelmed by the sudden pain, but I forced myself to look up and meet his eyes again.

    "What''s your name, boy?" he asked me in an even tone.

    I remained silent.

    The name my mother had given me was Falyn, but I wasn¡¯t going to tell him that. That name was something she had given me, and I refused to share it with him.

    The silence stretched on for a moment, before he backhanded me across the face with all his might. I saw stars in my vision and the whole side of my face lit up with pain. I tasted blood and realized that the inside of my mouth had been ripped open by my teeth.

    I spat blood on the ground and looked back up at him. I was pretty sure that his earlier kick had broken one of my ribs. I could feel my face already starting to swell.

    I looked up at my father again in silence.

    "Very well," he said, "you will have to learn things the hard way then. From this day forward, you can forget whatever name that whore called you. You are now Julien de Ramport, son of the Duke of Ramport. Your only purpose is to serve as my heir and not cause me shame. Any shame you do cause will be etched into the skin of your back. Do you understand me?"

    I knelt before him in silence, hatred burning in my eyes. But no matter how long he waited, I didn''t open my mouth to answer.

    Finally, he lost his patience and began beating me in earnest. It was the first time I had ever been beaten like that; endless blows rained down on me, merciless and deliberate. The fog returned, dulling my senses and allowing the beating to fade into the distance.

    As I was kicked and stomped into blissful oblivion, I didn''t cry out at all.

    I didn¡¯t make another noise for over nine years after that day.

 Chapter Two

    The years passed in a whirlwind of isolation, pain and loneliness. Perhaps it would have been better if I had spoken, but I refused to give in to him. Or so I told myself. Perhaps my voice was already gone by then. I doubt I will ever know for sure.

    All I could do was suffer and tell myself that I wouldn''t give in to my father. Eventually, I forgot that I ever had a voice.

    Sometimes, he would beat me until I passed out from the pain, just like the night we first met. As he vented his rage on my body, he told me over and over again what a disappointment I was. Slowly, I began to believe him.

    Other times, I would be locked in my room and starved for days as punishment for some supposed act of defiance. When I was finally released, he would remind me that I could have a good life, if only I would speak and obey.

    My stepmother, the Duchess, didn¡¯t want to lay eyes upon me at all, and avoided my presence at all times. My sister, however, took great pleasure in tormenting her bastard brother, who was heir apparent to the duchy she wanted for herself. I avoided her as much as my stepmother avoided me.

    My room, incomparably more luxurious than my bedroom in my mother''s house, was nothing more than a prison. The large canopied bed was plush and soft, the decor immaculate and beautiful, but all I saw were the metal bars on the windows that reminded me I was a prisoner, not a guest.

    I came of age during my fourth year in that house. My birthday was no longer an occasion I cared to celebrate, but my father insisted on throwing a grand banquet to celebrate my eighteenth year. After all, he had to keep up appearances.

    In the weeks leading up to the banquet, no one was allowed to hit my face, so the southern nobles wouldn''t see my bruises.

    It all seemed like a pointless farce to me. Was a male heir truly such an important thing? My sister would gladly inherit the duchy, and adopting her future husband would have been enough to satisfy the Vraynian succession laws.

    However, even though I was an obvious failure, my father had obsessed over having a male heir for so long that he couldn''t let it go. His stubbornness persisted beyond reason, despite the constant pleas of his wife and daughter to just overthrow the succession laws and kill me.

    At the banquet, I met the highest ranking nobles of the duchy one by one, sitting in my chair of honor. They must have been warned that I couldn''t speak, because no one batted an eye when I didn''t respond to their well wishes.

    For my part, I had been instructed to sit, smile, and not make a fuss, with a clear warning of what would happen to me if I didn''t.

    And so, one after another, the nobles approached me, offering me joyous tidings for my coming of age, trying to curry favor for when I became Duke. I nodded silently to all of them, trying my best not to scowl, all the while feeling disgusted by their obvious pandering.

    On the night of my eighteenth birthday, the knights who had brought me to Ramport four years earlier were assigned to guard the doors of the banquet hall. To outsiders, they were presented as the proud protectors of my father, the Duke, but in reality, they were the thugs who did his dirty work.

    I had always thought that knights were chivalrous and kind men who protected and served, but that was not the case with the Duke of Ramport''s knights. They were all ruffians who enjoyed inflicting pain.

    Perhaps by design, perhaps not, they served as a stark reminder of where I came from and that I was nothing more than a prisoner who had to act in accordance with the will of his captors.

    Except for that banquet, I was rarely allowed to leave the north wing of the house where my bedroom was located. My food, when I received it, was delivered to me there.

    Other than the servants of the house, who ignored me, and my family, whom I would have been happy to never see, I didn''t have any interaction with the outside world for years.

    In all that time, I never once allowed myself the luxury of succumbing to my grief. I had nowhere I could go that felt safe enough to release the tears that constantly stung my eyes. So I pushed them down, into a hidden place in the depths of the fog, locked away until I could finally be free.

    I promised myself that one day I would release them. And on that day, when I found that safe place I longed for, I would be free to be Falyn again. Then, only then, would I be allowed to cry.

    Nine years passed and I was approaching my twenty-fourth birthday. By this time I was a man grown, no longer the resilient youth I was when I arrived.

    Despite my surroundings, I had somehow grown into adulthood. My height peaked at five feet and nine inches, and my body was leaner than it should have been, lacking in strength and constantly healing from the injuries inflicted by my father and his knights.

    The maids who did the cleaning in my room were the ones who brought me news from the outside world. Not that they actually spoke to me. But it seemed they thought that mute meant deaf as well.

    All I had to do was stare at a book and occasionally turn the page, and I could secretly listen to them carelessly chatter about the outside world.

    That was how I came to know that Vrayna had gone to war with the Beastlands during my fifth year in that house. I didn''t know how it had started, but the bloody war had lasted longer than anyone expected. The people of eastern Vrayna were desperate for peace; it was unfortunate that the rest of Vrayna wasn''t.

    The beastmen had long been considered a threat along the eastern border, though I''d never understood the people''s fear of them. Sure, they were half beast, but they were also half human. Something similar to a human, at least.

    I would have been around ten at the time. I''d gone exploring and strayed too far from my normal path and got lost in the woods. A small lion cub had found me leaning against a tree, scared and crying.

    At the time, I didn¡¯t even realize it was a beastman cub and had no idea that I¡¯d accidentally passed through the borderland and into beast territory.

    The little cub had stayed with me, nuzzling me and comforting me, until its father came to find it. When I saw a large beastman charging toward us, I thought my life was at an end.

    But the beastman didn''t attack. The beastman was the little cub''s father, who¡¯d become frantic when his son hadn''t come home.

    Seeing my obvious distress, he offered to help me. He took me back to their home and fed me a meal of grilled meat, which was shared with the little cub, and vegetable soup. Then he guided me back to the part of the forest I knew.

    I had to promise not to tell anyone that he had helped me, as people would panic if they found out that a beastman had crossed the borderland, regardless of his intentions. I promised with all my youthful might and never told a soul.

    Over the next few years, I secretly went back to visit them many times to play with the cub as he slowly grew into a young lion.

    On my final visit before I was taken, the cub''s head was almost as high as my shoulder. His father, who had become like a father to me, had told me that he''d soon gain his human form and we''d be able to talk to each other. Apparently the first transformation usually happened around the age of twelve.

    In the end, I never saw his human form. I couldn¡¯t help but wonder if that beastman and the cub were okay, living so close to the border during the war.

    The war between the human nation of Vrayna and the Beastlands to our east had reached a stalemate. Both sides had suffered heavy losses and were preparing to enter into peace negotiations.

    Even though it was a blow to the pride of the Vraynian army, the negotiations were the best choice for our nation. It was said that the Beastlands still had untapped forces in their northern and southern regions, but the human army was running out of reinforcements.

    Despite their advantage, it was the beasts who proposed the marriage treaty, and the humans who had grudgingly accepted. Since the Beastlands were a collection of tribes without a King or Queen, it was decided that one of the ducal families of Vrayna would provide the bride; the Royals only intermarried most of the time anyway.

    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

    A war general from one of the western beast tribes had been chosen as the beast bridegroom.

    In the Beastlands, the land was shared peacefully by many different tribes. The land was divided fairly, if not equally, between the different types of beasts, and a few tribes chose to remain as nomads.

    Various wolf tribes dominated the east, and the cat tribes held the western lands, sharing a border with the human nation of Vrayna. The cub and his father were from one of those western tribes.

    Despite his enormous size and the fangs that showed when he smiled, I was never afraid of the large lion beastman. In fact, my younger self couldn''t help but smile at his mane-like hair and round little lion ears that looked just like his son''s.

    The maids'' stories about the beastmen, however, were more like horror stories meant to frighten small children. They talked about what monsters the beastmen were, calling them sub-humans and making no effort to hide their distaste.

    For the first time ever, they said, they were thankful that they weren''t born nobles, since they didn''t have to worry about becoming a monster¡¯s bride.

    The tales that came back from the war front included tales of cat beastmen invading the eastern border villages and committing terrible deeds. They were said to be brutal in their tactics, killing the men first and then torturing the women and children for days.

    The thought of a human woman being forced to marry such a creature offended the two maids deeply.

    I was horrified to think that the kind beastman I had met all those years ago could have done such a thing to the people I had cared for.

    However, as I imagined his kind smile and gentle fatherly gestures, I just couldn''t believe it was possible.

    Part of me was conflicted about what to think, but another part of me thought that there was no point in worrying about it. None of it had anything to do with me anymore. My world was limited to four walls, the maid''s gossip, and trips to my father''s study.

    Alive, dead or a fate worse than death, it didn''t matter. The people out there were more of a concept to me than a reality. I didn''t wish them harm, but I didn''t dare hope they were well either. Hope kills. I didn''t need it and I didn''t want it. I''d worry about the people out there if I ever saw the outside again.

    The night after I''d overheard the maids gossiping about the Beastlands marriage treaty, I was called into my father''s study. I knew immediately that something was amiss, as he had never summoned me in the evening prior to this.

    I allowed myself to be led there without a fuss, and when I arrived, I saw that more than just my father was waiting for me.

    On either side of my father, who sat in a chair by the hearth, were Tarlon and the black haired demon Albrecht. Tarlon didn''t even acknowledge my arrival, but Albrecht watched me with his disgusting, lustful eyes and wore his usual smug sneer.

    There was also a visitor sitting by the hearth. As soon as he turned in my direction, I recognized the man sitting across from my father. I''d seen him at my coming-of-age banquet, though he''d never bothered to greet me.

    This was no ordinary visitor. This man was the second Prince of Vrayna, Eduard de Vray.

    On either side of him stood his own knights, wearing shiny metal armor, their faces covered by their helmets. The first thought that came to mind was, Wow, so that¡¯s what real knights look like¡­

    My father¡¯s knights looked all the more like ruffians when compared to the shining glory of the Royal knights.

    The Second Prince was ordinary in appearance, but held himself in a manner that conveyed authority and the expectation of obedience. When I entered the room, he turned to look at me, taking in my appearance with his sharp and calculating eyes.

    I got the impression that he was evaluating me, but I had no idea why someone like him would want to evaluate a mute bastard who never left his room.

    After observing me for a considerable length of time, he nodded ever so slightly and turned back to my father.

    "Duke Ramport, you¡¯re sure about this?" he asked my father with an unreadable expression on his face.

    "Yes, Your Highness," my father replied in a tone of deference I didn''t know he was capable of, "not only am I sure, I am honored to make this sacrifice for the future of our kingdom. But may I humbly request a few moments alone with the boy before you depart?"

    "Of course, Duke Ramport," the Second Prince replied in a cordial tone, "take all the time you need. You''ve once again shown your loyalty and devotion to the human cause. And I think it would be best if you explained things to him first anyway."

    With that, the Second Prince rose from his seat and left the room, his knights following obediently behind him. I had no idea what was going on, but I had a bad feeling about what my father was about to tell me.

    As soon as the Second Prince left the room, my father''s entire demeanor changed. Ah, yes, this was the man I was used to seeing when I walked into this room.

    "You disgusting disappointment of a son," my father began, "I feel nothing but regret when I think of all the years I spent searching for you. I saved you and brought you into my home, yet you have repaid my devotion with failure, defiance, and uselessness. No matter how hard I tried, you have been nothing but a disappointment. And since you turned out to be such an overwhelming failure of a son, we shall have to make use of you in other ways."

    I stared at my father in silence, dread creeping into my heart. I had always known that I wouldn''t be his true heir. Who would treat their future heir so brutally? Anxiety overwhelmed me as I waited for my father to inform me of my fate.

    "You will leave with His Highness, the Second Prince, to fulfill a duty required of you by your nation," my father continued, "You should be grateful, really. I have finally found a way for your worthless existence to benefit us. Consider it an opportunity for you to thank me for keeping you alive after you caused me so much inconvenience. Make no mistake, if you don''t go along peacefully, I will give you to Albrecht here as his personal plaything."

    Those words stopped any thoughts of defiance I might have had. I felt sick just thinking about what that would mean.

    During the years I¡¯d spent living there, Albrecht had tortured and tormented me in every way that my father would allow. I was still untouched in the way I feared most, but my body and mind bore more scars from Albrecht than from my father. My father beat me and destroyed my self worth, but Albrecht was the true creature of my nightmares.

    When I slept, his face and the things he¡¯d done to my mother haunted my dreams. When I was awake, he subjected me to fresh torments to fuel my endless nightmares. The whippings, molestations, and the constant threat that he might cross that final line had left me broken and terrified of what he might do next.

    My father had seen the terror Albrecht inspired in me. I think he found it amusing. But more importantly, he knew that I would do anything to avoid being at Albrecht¡¯s mercy. This time, he knew I would obey his will.

    Albrecht licked his lips and watched my reaction with scarcely concealed delight. It was obvious that he hoped I would rebel against whatever my father had planned.

    I didn''t know what my father had planned, but I would go along with it regardless, if it meant I would be safe from the fiend in front of me.

    My father began to speak again. "Since we brought you here, our beloved nation has been at war with the Beastlands and peace negotiations have been ordered by the First Prince. In order to move forward with the peace treaty, it was decreed that a marriage alliance with the Beastlands shall occur. The First Prince decided that my darling Emma would make a suitable bride, as she is of a marriageable age and of high birth, but there is no way I''m going to allow my beautiful daughter to be subjected to a forced marriage with one of those creatures."

    It was then that I began to realize what my father was planning.

    "You, Julien, shall take her place," he said with a cruel smile. "You will travel to the capital with his Highness, the Second Prince, and be married to that creature in her place. I can''t say that I agree with this peace treaty to begin with, but I refuse to allow my darling Emma to be forced to copulate with an animal. Those filthy creatures should be eradicated, not treated with."

    The hatred in his eyes shone clearly in the light of the fire that burned in the hearth. Even I, who thought I had already seen the depths of his hatred, was taken aback.

    "In any case, if it were to become enraged and kill you," my father continued, "that would certainly give us a reason to rekindle the war effort and claim the Beastlands for the benefit of our great nation. And in the rare event that the creature accepts you as its bride... well, I dare say you''ll wish it had killed you."

    Despite my lacking education and isolation, I knew that claiming the Beastlands for Vrayna was over ambitious and foolish. According to the whispered gossip I¡¯d heard, their land was vast and densely populated. The beastmen surely outnumbered us and could probably wipe us out long before we¡¯d even begun to conquer them. He had let his hatred of the beastmen cloud his judgement.

    It felt strange, to be able to see my father¡¯s folly so clearly laid out in front of me. This untouchable figure had weaknesses after all.

    "The Second Prince sees eye to eye with me on this, so all you need do is follow his lead and obey his orders." My father stood and walked over to me.

    I met his sharp green eyes, so similar to my own, with a feigned calmness that I didn¡¯t feel.

    Looming over me, he instructed, "Do as the Second Prince tells you and don''t ever think of coming back here. You might be my son in name, but I wash my hands of your pathetic existence. You can either be that beast¡¯s bitch for the rest of your life, or you can die. If you return, you will be Albrecht''s toy, not my son."

    My father informed me of my fate in a cold and threatening tone. It seemed he had found a way to both be rid of my presence and incite the beastmen, who had approached us in good faith. They came for a noble bride, so he would give them his shameful, mute bastard instead.

    Even if I survived, my future was bleak.

    However, I was finally going to be free of this life, safe from the violence and fear I had come to accept as a part of my reality.

    It was possible I would be lucky enough that the beastman I was being offered to would be like the lion beastman I knew as a child.

    But the chances of a war general taking pity upon me were slim. I probably wouldn''t survive our first encounter, and if I did survive, I might be faced with a nightmare akin to being Albrecht''s pet.

    The idea made me sick. I didn¡¯t harbor any of my father¡¯s hatred for the beastmen, but I hated the idea of being held down, of being treated like my mother was. I¡¯d rather they killed me, if that was the case.

    "Now get out," my father ordered, "You''re making the Second Prince wait, so be gone. May we never meet again."

    With that, I was dismissed from his presence and life.

 Chapter Three

    The Second Prince''s knights were waiting for me when I left my father''s study. They bound my wrists with chains and led me out of the house. In front of the entry staircase was a cerulean and gold carriage, drawn by two black horses.

    I was told to get in, so I climbed up the small stairs and through the open door.

    Inside, there were two plush benches on either side, both covered in rich white velvet. On one side sat the Second Prince, so I sat on the other side facing him.

    There were round windows on either side of me, and the walls were upholstered in a silky, midnight blue fabric. My feet rested on a fluffy white floor that looked suspiciously like a wolf''s skin.

    After taking in my surroundings, my eyes came to rest on Prince Eduard. I hadn''t noticed it when we were inside, but the hair I''d thought was blond shone a silvery white in the sunlight.

    His face was indeed as average as I¡¯d thought, but his hair was undeniably beautiful. His eyes, a soft light brown, were fixed on me as I took in the splendor of the carriage.

    He studied me for a moment before speaking, as if trying to gauge my reaction. Unlike my father, who exuded hostility and anger, the Prince looked at me with a combination of curiosity and apathy.

    "Julien, was it?" he asked in an uninterested tone.

    I nodded, though I didn''t recognize the name as my own. For now, I had no choice but to use the name my father had given me. I couldn''t speak to correct him, and I doubted that he cared how I preferred to be called anyway.

    "Very well then," he said, "the journey to Luz Dorada should take a few days, so I suggest you make yourself comfortable. I assume your father has explained what is expected of you?"

    I nodded again. I did my best to keep my face neutral, trying to hide the fear and resentment I felt. This man, despite his cordial tone and bland smile, was still an ally of my father. He was also the second in line to the Golden Throne, and not someone to be trifled with.

    "The beast you are to marry is a cat general, a tiger if I''m not mistaken. Its name is Rastari. So far, it seems to be unusually well controlled for a beast. But your sister Emma is simply too fragile to handle life among the beasts and no other ducal house had any unmarried children of the right age," he said, as if he were reciting a scripted speech. It was probably the same story he had planned for the beastmen.

    "My brother was quite insistent on your sister," he continued, "something both your father and I argued against, along with the entirety of this foolhardy endeavour. In the end, your father made a very hard choice, giving up his heir for the sake of his nation and his young daughter''s happiness."

    If I hadn''t known better, he would have had me convinced that my father had suffered a terrible loss when he gave me up.

    It wasn''t a hard choice for him at all, I thought to myself. That man never cared for me, not even a little.

    In the early years, he''d beaten me to cow me and mold me into a useful pawn, but in the later years, I was certain he beat me because he enjoyed my pain. Whenever he remembered my shameful existence, he would call me into his study to vent his anger on me.

    On the other hand, he cherished his daughter and gave her everything her heart desired.

    Unaware of my thoughts, the Second Prince continued, "I hope you understand that the hope of our nation now rests on your shoulders, Julien de Ramport.

    "You must present yourself to the beast in good faith; a brave young man taking the place of his dear sister, whose heart is already attached to another.

    "If it kills you in a fit of rage, rest assured that we will go back to war to avenge you. If it refuses you, you can be executed privately and painlessly, and the blame placed on that creature. In the rare event that it accepts you as its bride, your unfortunate union will bring about a brief period of peace, during which we can plan our next move.

    "As long as you approach this with sincerity, you will undoubtedly bring the human cause one step closer to annihilating these creatures.

    "I appreciate your noble sacrifice, Julien de Ramport, please know that you have my gratitude. If you could speak, I''m certain you would thank me for this opportunity to serve your nation."

    If I could speak, I would tell you that you''re mad, I thought.

    I avoided the Second Prince''s gaze so he wouldn''t see the loathing in my eyes. A noble sacrifice? A secret execution? Restarting a fruitless war?

    Does he hate the beastmen so much that he¡¯d hurt his own people? How can he truly believe that this is a just and worthy cause? I''d expect something like this from my father, but not from the man second in line for the Golden Throne. How can he possibly think that what he''s doing is right?

    I could sense the man in front of me might be more dangerous than he seemed. He''d informed me of his plans for my untimely death as if he were telling me about the weather, all with that insipid expression on his face.

    He used fancy words and a gentler tone, but he was no different from my father.

    I would die or suffer a fate worse than death, and he would send me off with a bland smile. Thank him for that? Never.

    The carriage fell silent, except for the sound of the horses pulling us along the road.

    We traveled for many days, with frequent stops along the way. Though I was never allowed to venture out into the forest alone, and my wrists kept in chains, I was still allowed to be outside and breathe the fresh air, something I had mostly been denied while living in the Duke''s house.

    It had been so long since I''d been properly outside that I''d forgotten what it was like to feel the sun on my skin.

    Despite my circumstances, I basked in my newfound freedom; I stood in the sun, felt the breeze on my skin, and enjoyed the rush of bathing in a cold stream.

    The sounds of birds chirping and leaves rustling were both nostalgic and new to me.

    The Second Prince generally left me to my own devices, as I showed no intention of running away. To be honest, I didn''t even consider it as an option.

    Even if I managed to escape, I would still be alone in the forest with my wrists chained. I would be finished as soon as night fell and the monsters came out.

    If I failed in my escape, I imagined that I would be subjected to more violence, something I had no desire to inflict upon myself.

    Instead of planning to escape, I spent my time caught between the exhilaration of experiencing the world again and the dread of what awaited me when we reached the capital.

    Twice along the way, we were attacked by monsters from the forest that noticed the fires from our camp. Before that, I had only heard about monsters in scary stories, and it was a cold dose of reality to actually encounter them.

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    The first were a group of goblins, small in stature but known for being persistent and vicious. The knights slaughtered them before they even got past the perimeter of our camp.

    I slept through the entire encounter and only learned of it the next morning.

    The second was a lone dire wolf that crept up on us in the middle of the night. It snuck past the sentries and had already penetrated the center of our camp when I was awoken by the sound of its howling.

    The dire wolf was huge, almost as big as the carriage I''d rode in, with filthy, matted fur and a gaping maw filled with sharp teeth.

    It took the knights a long time to defeat it, and more than a few were injured in the process, delaying our travels.

    I had watched the battle from my tent, peering through the door flaps, terrified to death. When they finally destroyed it, the foul stench of the creature''s blood permeated the entire camp.

    We lost three days of travel time due to the knights'' injuries. The Second Prince showed surprising concern for his subordinates, not hesitating to order several days of rest so they could recover. He even contacted a healer from the nearest village to tend to the wounded.

    I was quite surprised, as he didn''t seem like a man who cared about others, given his willingness to use me as a sacrifice. But I suppose these men were his people, unlike me, who was just the Duke''s bastard and a useful pawn.

    The days we rested in that clearing were some of the most peaceful I''d had since childhood.

    Each morning I would wake before dawn and watch the sun rise over a nearby lake. I could sit for hours, appreciating the beauty of the transition from night to day.

    From the blackness of the night, the sky would be illuminated in shades of indigo as the sun approached the horizon.

    Then I would wait in anticipation for the first glimmer of red to appear on the horizon, trying to capture every detail in my mind as the sky turned from red to orange before finally becoming the brilliant blue of daylight.

    After being denied the simple pleasures of life for so long, the rising sun felt like a miracle being shown just to me, alone on that flat rock by the lake.

    After sunrise, I washed in the lake and returned to camp. We would break our fast on dried fruit and boiled grains, and then I was free to roam around the area.

    The Second Prince had business to attend to, and there weren''t enough able-bodied knights remaining, so I was essentially allowed to wander as I pleased. The direwolf''s attack was considered a better escape deterrent than any punishment they could threaten me with.

    They were right, of course. I wasn''t afraid of the forest animals, but I didn''t want to die at the mercy of the monsters that came out at night. So I always returned to camp before the sunset turned to twilight and I never once considered risking the forest on my own.

    After the third night, we broke camp and continued our journey to the capital, the city of Luz Dorada in the heart of Vrayna.

    Through the barless windows of the carriage, I tirelessly watched the passing scenery while the Second Prince worked on the pile of paperwork he''d brought with him for the journey. I marveled at the variety of plants and trees I saw, occasionally spotting a bird on a branch or a wild animal in the bushes.

    The next day, the forest gave way to fields of tall grass, and small farms began appearing on both sides of the road. One farm, which I wished we could pass more slowly, had cows grazing in the field. I hadn¡¯t seen a cow since I was a child.

    With their black and white spots and those low, drawling moos, I could have stayed and watched them for days.

    "Tsk. They''re just cows," the Second Prince muttered when he saw my unbridled enthusiasm at the sight.

    I was aware of my own childish behavior, but I didn''t care. This might be my only chance to experience such things.

    I shrugged and continued to stare out the window.

    After the farmland, we entered the outskirts of the city.

    We passed all types of dwellings; mud huts with thatched roofs in the outer slums, endless rows of townhouses in the residential district, and tiny rooftop apartments above the various stalls in the commercial district.

    People of all varieties walked the streets, and I watched them as they walked, talked, and traded their wares. There were food stalls, stables, and shops everywhere.

    The last time I had witnessed such a scene, I was half-conscious in the back of a wagon, and in no condition to appreciate the experience. This time, although my situation was just as dire, I was able to enjoy the sights and sounds of the market.

    Soon I saw a golden gate towering in the distance. Two knights stood at the top, their silver armor contrasting beautifully with the shining gold of the gate.

    A massive wall of white stone stretched out from the gate. It was at least four stories high, and even more knights walked along a gold fenced path that ran along the top of it.

    The Second Prince looked at me with a proud smile and announced, "Welcome to Luz Dorada. Once we pass through these gates, you will find yourself in the mighty and majestic capital of humanity."

    His boastful tone indicated that he expected me to be impressed, and I''m ashamed to admit that I didn''t disappoint.

    My first impression of the gate was magnificence; a fierce and overpowering display of wealth and power.

    As we approached the gate, two more knights stood at the entrance, bowing deeply to the carriage. One hastily began to turn a large wheel on the side of the wall, and the door of the gate slowly began to open.

    "His Royal Highness, Prince Eduard de Vray returns!" shouted the other knight, and cheers erupted from the top of the wall.

    "Long live His Highness! Long live Prince Eduard!" shouted a chorus of voices from both the wall above and the streets beyond the gate. To their shouts, the carriage moved forward, passing through the gate of Luz Dorada, the golden city in the heart of Vrayna.

    As we passed through the gates and entered the city proper, the carriage was greeted with cheers and shouts of good tidings as we passed through the streets.

    The other side of the wall was inhabited by a different class of people. All of them were well fed and immaculately dressed, whether for work or for leisure. Within the city¡¯s inner wall lived the nobles, the wealthy, and the elite.

    There were no food stalls or street vendors to be seen, instead there were tall buildings that housed bankers, armorers, and lawmakers. The inns, if you could even call them that, were towering buildings with opulent and beautiful decorations.

    There were corner cafes with outdoor patios where young and beautiful nobles sat under umbrellas, sipping their drinks and chatting politely. They looked like they should be part of a painting and not exist in reality.

    It was like a different world from the chaotic and vibrant outer city. The outside was exciting and interesting, a place I wanted to experience, but the inside felt too perfect. Nothing was out of place; everything was flawless and shiny.

    The people gave off the impression of happiness, but to me it felt cold and sterile. The perfection was unnerving.

    In the distance I could see our destination. In a shining city full of shining things, it was by far the shiniest of them all: The Royal Palace. It towered above all other buildings, its golden glory shining like a second sun over the city.

    The Golden Palace stood over ten stories high at its tallest point, with various bridges and walkways connecting the different sections, and all of it a blindly bright, glittering gold that reflected the sun''s rays.

    As I looked at it, my heart sank. I had reached the end of my road, and my short, dark future awaited me in those golden halls.

    "Beautiful, isn''t it?" The voice of the Second Prince pulled me out of my thoughts. "Our ancestors built the Golden Palace in the center of the human world to shine our light into the darkest corners of the land.

    "Soon you''ll receive the blessing of meeting my brother, the First Prince and Crowned Prince of our nation, Elantro de Vray.

    "Now, I''ve assured him that you volunteered for this role, and he''s soft-hearted enough to allow you to take your sister''s place as long as it''s your will. My brother, our future King, is a very good man. His kind heart is why his people love him so much, but it makes him too generous when dealing with those subhumans. My sweet, misguided brother actually believes that allowing those filthy beasts into our midst is the right thing to do.

    "My role is to allow my brother to be his kind and generous self while doing what must be done for the good of the nation. Everything we do will be for his benefit, I assure you.

    "And let me be clear, if you do anything to shatter my dear brother''s illusions, I will see to it that you suffer in unspeakable ways before you die. I wonder, how long I would have to torture you before I got to hear you shriek in pain?"

    He smiled as he said that last part, the threat clear in his otherwise casual voice. He met my eyes for a brief moment, and I saw a glimmer of excitement in his plain, emotionless eyes.

    He was more than willing to torture me if the Crown Prince were to discover the reality of my situation. In fact, that glimmer in his eyes told me he''d enjoy doing it. He was enjoying all of this.

    "Enjoy the sights of our beautiful city while you can. Nothing you''ve seen before could ever compare to the beauty and wonder of Luz Dorada. Unless, of course, you think cows are more impressive than the Golden Palace," he remarked with a sardonic smile.

    I''d rather look at the cows, I thought as I turned my face back to the window.

    The scenery passed before my eyes, each immaculate street looking no different from the last, and soon we arrived at the palace gates.

 Chapter Four

    Naturally, our passage through the castle gate was unhindered, given the presence of a Royal in the carriage, and we were granted immediate access to the Golden Palace.

    The carriage entered slowly, driving past a long line of guards who stood at attention as we passed. We continued up the road and circled around the outside of the Palace, avoiding the grand main entrance.

    Up close, the Golden Palace shone, no less. Its luster was overwhelming to my eyes. It was adorned with stained glass windows and jewel encrusted doors. The grounds were perfectly polished and filled with flowers in full bloom.

    The carriage followed a long cobblestone path that led through the garden and around the back of the Palace.

    We stopped in front of a discreet back entrance that looked like a door for servants to enter. A few moments after we''d stopped, the carriage driver came around, opened the door, and bowed deeply.

    ¡°Your Highness, we have arrived,¡± the driver said reverently, without lifting his head, ¡°may this humble servant be of any further assistance?¡±

    ¡°That will be all,¡± replied the Second Prince, ¡°We will enter from here and I will escort the Marquis to his room. Return the carriage and horses to the stable and you may retire from there.¡±

    ¡°Yes, your Highness. Thank you, your Highness.¡± The man lifted his head so he could bow deeply once more before stepping aside to allow us space to exit.

    The Second Prince gestured for me to get out first, so I carefully climbed out of the carriage. The back entrance that the Second Prince had chosen was far less populated than the one in front, with only a few servants scattered about, completing their daily tasks. I could feel their eyes on me as I emerged.

    I could only imagine what they must have been thinking when they saw me. My hair, which had grown long enough to be called unruly, was as unwashed as the rest of me from the journey; my clothes were dirty from travel, and my wrists were still bound in chains. It must have looked as if the Second Prince had brought a commoner prisoner home for a visit.

    Their eyes quickly averted the moment the Second Prince stepped out of the carriage behind me. He lazily looked around at the people hovering nearby, but they were all suddenly busy with their assigned tasks and I had become invisible to them.

    The driver went to depart, but then he turned around to look at me. Our eyes met for a brief moment, and I couldn¡¯t help but notice the pity in his gaze as he bade me farewell, ¡°Good luck, young Lord. I hope to greet thee on the other side.¡±

    Having given me the traditional greeting of long partings, he climbed back up to his post and drove off with the carriage. Having experienced so little kindness in the last nine years, his casual words tugged at my heartstrings a little.

    I shall hope to see you again too, kind sir, I thought, hoping the sentiment would somehow reach him. It was naught but a simple, careless greeting on his part, but it had lifted my spirits, if only for a moment.

    ¡°Right then, follow me. I will show you to your room.¡± My spirits dropped right back down when the voice of the Second Prince interrupted my thoughts.

    I nodded to show my understanding and followed him into the Palace.

    The interior of the Royal Palace was no less opulent, but far less gilded than the exterior. Everyway I looked I saw ornamental rugs, jewels on display, portraits of the Royal Family, and other pieces of decadent decor.

    The poor people of the city''s slums could have feasted for a year from the riches housed in any of the rooms we passed.

    Servants passed by constantly, averting their eyes and whispering, ¡°Greetings, Your Highness,¡± as they hurried off to finish their work.

    None of them dared to look the Second Prince in the eye, but all of them snuck a peek at me as soon as they were past the Second Prince¡¯s gaze. Hostility, curiosity, or pity. All of them looked at me with at least one of those three.

    The servants in my father¡¯s house had been entirely indifferent to me, if not contemptuous of me, but I wasn¡¯t sure if I could call this an improvement.

    I wondered if the Palace servants knew who I was. Did they know what I was here for, or was I simply something different to look at, wonder about, and judge? I wished they wouldn¡¯t look at me like that.

    I was pretty sure I preferred the indifference of my father¡¯s servants. At least they didn¡¯t make me feel like a spectacle.

    We swiftly proceeded through the Palace, preventing me from thinking about it any further.

    After countless corridors and several staircases, we reached an isolated wing of the palace where there were no servants at all.

    There, at the end of a long, empty corridor, was a door with two knights standing at attention on either side. They offered sharp and well synchronized bows to the Second Prince before returning to their original positions.

    The Second Prince simply held out his hand as we approached the door. The knight on the left immediately produced a key, unlocked the door, handed the key to the Second Prince, and took a few steps back.

    The knight on the right opened the door for us and also stepped back. Their movements were so coordinated that I wondered if they had rehearsed it.

    The room was one of the most unusual sights I had ever seen, as it was flooded with natural light, yet there wasn¡¯t a single window.

    Its walls were covered with burgundy and gold wallpaper, with paintings and tapestries hung in various locations around the room.

    To one side, there was a golden mantle with a fire already burning in the hearth. Next to the hearth were a couch, a chair, and a small table set atop a fluffy, white rug.

    On the opposite side of the room was a bed, placed on top of an enormous rug that matched the one by the hearth. The bed was a sea of emerald silk and looked too luxurious to actually sleep in.

    Next to the bed, in the far right corner was an enormous bookshelf that was built into the wall, and there had to be hundreds of books on its white and gold shelves. A single book could take a scribe almost a full moon cycle to create, so seeing that many being kept in an unused area felt wrong to me.

    When I finally managed to pull my gaze away from the books and look upward, I saw the reason for all the natural light in the windowless room. The ceiling, which was nearly twenty feet high, was made entirely of glass panels held together by a golden frame. It was an asymmetrical marvel that let the sunlight in during the day and allowed you to see the stars at night.

    "This room, we call it the Sun Room. It was once a private tea room designed for enjoying the midwinter sun, but it hasn''t been used as such for many years. This is where you shall stay. The beastmen contingent will arrive tonight, but you won¡¯t greet them until tomorrow. Wait here until we come for you.¡±

    He looked me in the eyes to confirm that I understood. I gave him a short nod and he turned to leave.

    ¡°Oh, yes,¡± he said as he reached the door, ¡°You are not permitted to leave this room, but feel free to read the books on the shelf. The books were chosen with the intention of reading them on a sunny afternoon, so you should find them to be pleasant, light reading. You can read, can¡¯t you?¡±

    I nodded that yes, I could. My mother, unlike most commoners, was not illiterate. Perhaps she had learned while she was the Duke¡¯s maid. She¡¯d made sure to teach me how to read the written word from an early age, even if I couldn¡¯t scribe it myself.

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

    ¡°I¡¯ll have the kitchen send you something light for now, and dinner will be served to you at the top of the seventh movement of descent. As long as you make no attempt to leave, please feel free to otherwise enjoy yourself. Enjoy your food and the books. This may be your last night, so I suggest you make the most of it.¡±

    With that, he walked out of the room. The knights bowed sharply in unison as he passed by. After the Second Prince was gone, one of the knights turned to me.

    ¡°If you need food or drink, knock twice.¡± He gave two taps on the door to demonstrate his meaning. The voice from inside the helmet sounded disciplined and no-nonsense. ¡°There¡¯s a chamber pot under the bed. If it needs to be changed, knock three times. We¡¯ll call for a servant.¡±

    Without waiting for my acknowledgement, he closed the door.

    I stood stunned, alone in the sunny room. The transition from the carriage to here had happened so quickly that my head was spinning.

    The beastmen would arrive that night? I¡¯d thought they would be a week or two away at least, not arriving the same day as me.

    I broke into a cold sweat as I processed this new information. During the journey here, I''d been too enraptured by the outside world to think about such things. I had just assumed there would be more time.

    None of it had truly felt real until this moment. All that had mattered before now was that I was finally free from my father¡¯s house.

    But now I was all alone in this beautiful and inescapable room, where I would possibly be spending my last night.

    The more I thought about it, the more terrifying my thoughts became. The beastmen would arrive tonight. Tomorrow, my life could be over. Or maybe I would be wishing it were.

    I started having trouble breathing.

    It was all too much.

    My heart was racing at an alarming pace.

    Too soon. It was too soon.

    Blackness spotted in my vision.

    Too fast.

    I thought I still had time. Why was I so convinced that I still had time? It was all over tomorrow.

    A foggy haze danced in my peripheral vision.

    I wasn¡¯t ready for this.

    I started choking when I tried to pull in a full breath. I had no air. I couldn¡¯t breathe.

    I don¡¯t want to die!

    I fell to the ground, my breaths shuddering in and out in ragged gasps. I felt dizzy. I felt sick.

    No, no, no, no! What should I do?

    I don¡¯t want to die. I want to go outside again.

    Why would they show me all of that just to take it all away again?

    I¡¯m scared. Why me? What did I do?

    I¡¯m so scared. I want to live.

    It¡¯s too much.

    I don¡¯t want to be here. I need to escape.

    I need to¡­ escape¡­

    As my body lay hyperventilating on the floor, my consciousness drifted into a familiar foggy haze. I went there and it was calm again.

    It wasn¡¯t quite like sleep, more like a waking dream in my subconscious. I was aware of the passage of time, but the fog blocked my perception of external stimuli. My conscious mind simply existed somewhere else for a while.

    But it was only for a while. Eventually, I had to return to my body and face whatever awaited me in reality.

    It was a knock on the door that brought me back to awareness.

    My instinctive reaction was fear. I must have been gone too long and they were here to take me away.

    I quickly got up, my heart pounding painfully loud in my chest. I looked around and saw that the sun was still in the sky. It was early afternoon when I arrived, so not too much time had passed while my mind was away.

    My head cleared a bit and I realized that I should probably answer the door.

    Before I could put the thought into action, the door opened of its own accord and a servant entered, pushing a cart with food on it.

    ¡°My Lord,¡± she said, giving me a gentle nod of the head before unloading the contents of the cart onto the table by the hearth. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm the feeling of panic I had felt upon waking.

    When she was finished, the servant turned to me, observing me carefully and making no attempt to hide it. I looked back at her, still trembling slightly, wondering what she wanted from me.

    She looked as if she wanted to say something. Whatever it was, she decided not to say it, and she shook her head slightly while gazing at me with an indecipherable expression.

    After a moment, she moved to take her cart and head back out the door. She moved past me, still standing frozen in the center of the room, and softly, so softly I might have imagined it, she whispered, ¡°Don¡¯t let your fate be decided by fear.¡±

    Then, at an audible volume, she said, ¡°Someone will come with dinner in a few movements time. Please advise the knights if you require anything before then. They will notify me.¡± Then, with another quick nod, she exited the room, and the door closed behind her.

    I made my way over to the table to see what had been left for me. I hadn¡¯t eaten since the early morning and my stomach was beginning to feel hollow.

    On the table, I found a plate of small, triangle shaped sandwiches, made with cucumber, tomato, and a creamy cheese. There was also a plate of butter cookies stuffed with a mix of finely chopped nuts, miniature tarts filled with ground meat, and a small plate of sliced fruit. I ate with no regard for propriety, shoving the bite sized snacks into my mouth two or three at a time.

    After some time in my safe space and a belly full of food, I felt a lot calmer. I was ready to think my way through this.

    I don¡¯t want to die here and the only situation where I won¡¯t die is the one where I end up married.

    I have no choice in what happens, but is there anything at all I can do to create a better outcome?

    Despite the assumptions of my father and the Second Prince, I doubt that he is likely to kill me. That would mean throwing away the treaty they''ve worked so hard to initiate.

    So it''s his rejection that I must somehow avoid.

    How can I convince him to marry me without offering my body as part of the deal?

    And if I have to, is that really a fate worse than death?

    In the end, I decided it wasn¡¯t. Not if General Rastari was a somewhat decent man. What happened to my mother, it didn¡¯t have to happen to me.

    Don¡¯t let your fate be decided by fear. Those softly spoken words echoed in my mind.

    But I had nothing but fear. No one was on my side. No one cared whether I lived or died. No one cared that I was afraid.

    I suddenly realized that it really didn''t matter if I was afraid. Only a fool wouldn''t be afraid in my situation. I couldn''t stop myself from being afraid, so I had to push through it. I had to be brave.

    If I ignored the fears that plagued me and looked at the facts, marriage to a beastman or death were my only options.

    The beastmen asked for a marriage treaty as a show of good faith, likely because they don¡¯t trust our intentions. But they definitely want peace.

    Offering a male bride makes a clear statement about Vrayna¡¯s attitude. It¡¯s a union that can''t produce a child. It shows our distaste toward interspecies breeding, but more importantly, it gives this treaty an expiration date, since there won¡¯t be a next generation to uphold it.

    The Second Prince is convinced they¡¯ll react violently, but he underestimates their intelligence. Hopefully, they¡¯ll see through him and not play into his hands.

    But will the general go along with this for the sake of peace, or will he insist on a breedable partner?

    I have no idea what they want. They were the inevitable victors, yet they sued for peace, and they must be aware that the humans they¡¯re treating with hate them and look down on them.

    So what do they stand to gain?

    I didn¡¯t know enough about the beastmen¡¯s motivations to even guess at their purpose. All I could do was wait. Either they would accept me or they wouldn¡¯t. If I saw an opportunity, I¡¯d take it, but I didn¡¯t feel like I had any control over the situation.

    All I could do was prepare myself and try to be optimistic. I hadn¡¯t dared to hope for anything in a very long time. But for just that one night, I was ready to risk the disappointment and devastation that could come from having hope.

    I got up from my chair by the hearth, and walked over to the bookshelf. I looked at the various titles, and eventually settled on a story about a knight, a princess, and a magical bullfrog.

    I¡¯d never read something that¡¯s primary purpose wasn¡¯t education, and I found myself completely engrossed in it until a servant came with dinner.

    Much to my disappointment, it wasn¡¯t the servant girl from before. This time, the servant walked in unannounced, placed my food on the table, and left without so much as a glance in my direction.

    The dinner they¡¯d brought consisted of a small roasted fowl, mashed potatoes, and a leafy green vegetable seasoned with herbs and citrus. I ate more than my fill before moving myself to the bed.

    I climbed under the blankets with the book from earlier, and looked up at the open sky ceiling. There was still the tiniest hint of light in the sky, the sun¡¯s last finale before it sank below the horizon.

    I gazed at the stars scattered across the night sky for a long while before turning back to the book.

    I finished the story by candlelight and fell asleep staring at the stars.

 Chapter Five

    I awoke the next morning to a clear blue sky above me and a knock at the door. Before I could climb out of bed, the door opened, and the servant girl from the previous afternoon entered the room with a food cart.

    She glanced at me as I hurriedly got to my feet before she crossed the room and placed a new tray of food on the table by the hearth. When she was finished, she pushed the cart to the center of the room and turned to face me.

    ¡°His Highness, the First Prince Elantro de Vray, requests your presence after you¡¯ve broken your fast, my Lord,¡± she said to me in a gentle tone. ¡°I will return in one movement¡¯s time to escort you into his glorious presence.¡±

    Wide-eyed, I nodded my understanding.

    Wouldn¡¯t I get into trouble with the Second Prince if I left? I couldn¡¯t say no to the First Prince¡¯s request, yet I still feared the consequences of leaving without permission.

    The servant waited while I had my internal struggle, her intelligent brown eyes fixed on me, watching my reactions carefully.

    ¡°Very well then. I shall bring you a change of clothes on my return as well, my Lord,¡± she added, eyeing my dirty travel outfit. I hadn''t had a proper bath in quite some time either.

    Yes, I certainly didn¡¯t look the part of someone who was about to meet the future King. My travel outfit, while not of low quality, didn¡¯t look like it belonged within the inner city walls at all. In fact, all the Palace servants I¡¯d seen were better dressed than I.

    ¡°Please be at ease and enjoy your meal,¡± she said with a small bow and left the room, closing the door behind her.

    I walked over to the table and sat down on the chair. Breakfast was a plate of sliced fruit, poached eggs in a rich and creamy sauce, and a small basket of crescent shaped pastries that tasted like butter. Like the day before, I ate with too much enthusiasm, stuffing my cheeks full with every bite.

    I had never eaten food like this in my father¡¯s house. Even if I discounted the times when I was left to starve, I was still only fed as well as the lowliest of servants. Even if that weren¡¯t the case, I doubted that such delicious food was ever served on his table.

    On the road here, I¡¯d been able to eat as much as I wanted at every meal, but we ate nothing but travel rations and poorly seasoned stews. It was filling, but never delicious.

    The food I¡¯d eaten since arriving at the Palace was on a level akin to artistry that transcended mere cooking. Was this what food made by someone fit to cook for royalty tasted like? It was amazing.

    After eating until I was full to bursting, I leaned back in my chair and carefully sipped a cup of hot milk tea.  As if sensing I was done with my breakfast, I heard another knock on the door.

    The door opened without waiting for me to answer, and the servant girl came in with her arms draped in fabric. She hurriedly shut the door behind her.

    ¡°My Lord,¡± she said, bowing once again, ¡°I hope the meal was to your liking. I have brought you some clothing to choose from, but might this humble servant be so bold as to offer you some suggestions?¡±

    I nodded gratefully. I had no knowledge of clothing or fashion, so I couldn¡¯t help but feel that this was a decision best left to someone else. Almost anything would have been better than the clothes I was wearing.

    She looked at me silently for a few moments, her expression similar to the one she wore the previous afternoon. I once again wondered what she might be thinking.

    Before I had a chance to think too hard about it, she laid three suits on the couch for me to inspect. Except for the colors, they all looked the same to me.

    ¡°I would recommend the dark green suit. It should highlight your eyes quite nicely. It¡¯s also one of the more popular styles in Luz Dorada right now,¡± she advised.

    She sounded far too serious to be talking about something as simple as clothing, but I suppose that was to be expected in the Golden Palace.

    ¡°However, I dare say we should bathe you before we dress you. If you could follow me, my Lord?¡± she requested, gesturing for me to follow her.

    I nodded again, surprised. Could I really leave the room? The Second Prince had said I couldn¡¯t. I knew all too well that I was a prisoner, not a guest, and he wasn¡¯t someone I wanted to make angry at me.

    Seeing my hesitation, the servant smiled and said, ¡°What you are worried about is not something you need concern yourself with.¡±

    I was taken aback by her words. How did she know what I was thinking?

    I¡¯m not sure what expression I showed her, but it was enough to make her laugh out loud. Her melodious laughter was almost enough to bring a smile to my face.

    I didn¡¯t know why, but I felt strangely at ease with this gentle and kind servant girl.

    The servant girl produced a key and freed me from the shackles I''d grown accustomed to wearing. I rubbed my wrists, which had previously been covered in chains, and savored the absence of the added weight.

    As I exited the room with her, I noticed that the knights who had previously guarded the door were strangely absent from their posts. I looked around the empty hallway, half expecting them to jump out from behind one of the closed doors to punish me for leaving the room, but they were nowhere to be found.

    My confusion must have shown on my face, because the servant quickly explained to me, ¡°You will no longer be under the purview of His Highness, the Second Prince. His Highness, the First Prince, has decided to look after the situation personally and he does not believe the guards to be necessary for you.¡±

    I stood frozen for a moment, trying to process what she was saying. The First Prince was looking after the situation? Had I done something wrong already? Doubt and anxiety began to creep their way into my thoughts.

    ¡°Forgive me, my Lord,¡± the servant girl said, bowing her head in apology. ¡°I did not mean to trouble you with what I said. His Highness the First Prince is very concerned with the matter of the treaty and your marriage with General Rastari. He only wishes to meet with you to ensure that you are acting in accordance with your own will and that we can look forward to a fruitful union between our two nations.¡±

    Her words did nothing to alleviate the anxiety that gripped me. How could a servant girl know all this? Something about the situation didn''t feel right. I finally thought to wonder about who she was and felt frustrated with myself for being so trusting.

    Why had I just blindly followed her? Was it because of what she¡¯d said to me the day before? What if those seemingly comforting words were meant to trick me into trusting her? Panic welled up in my chest, as I realized, Ah! I¡¯m an idiot. How could I be so-

    ¡°Before you get overly upset, perhaps I should introduce myself,¡± she interrupted my thoughts as if she could hear them. ¡°My name is Amelie, I am the personal maid of His Highness, the First Prince, Elantro de Vray, heir to the Golden Throne. I assure you that you needn¡¯t doubt my intentions.¡±

    Though her words didn¡¯t alleviate my doubts entirely, I realized I had no real choice but to accept them for now. My options were limited, so I needed to stay calm until I could get a better understanding of the situation.

    I gestured to say ¡®after you¡¯ and continued following her through the labyrinthine Golden Palace. The halls were surprisingly empty of servants, considering how many I had encountered the day before. It seemed odd that there was no one around. The incongruity was unnerving.

    ¡°They¡¯re busy preparing for the banquet,¡± she suddenly explained, ¡°the beastmen contingent arrived last night, and tonight¡¯s banquet will mark the beginning of our peace treaty, as well as serving as your own engagement party. All hands are required to ensure the success of the event, and the banquet hall is located on the other side of the Palace.¡±

    Again, she answered my thoughts as if I had spoken aloud. Her ability to understand my expressions and body language was simply incredible.

    We continued walking for another minute before she stopped and opened a set of double doors in the middle of an ocean themed hallway.

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    We were surrounded by velvety dark blue carpets and a blue and white wallpaper that evoked the image of waves crashing against the shore. On one side, there was a large window with sheer green curtain strips that looked like the weeds of the sea.

    The silver painted double doors sparkled in the natural light from the window. When Amelia opened those silver doors I saw a small room that was covered from floor to ceiling in blue and green tiles.

    In the center of that small tiled room was a large bathtub filled with steaming water, with a dark wooden table next to it. On the table were a set of neatly folded towels and a robe.

    ¡°I will leave you to wash yourself, my Lord,¡± she said, indicating that I could go in alone. ¡°When you are finished, I will bring you to a dressing room where you can finish preparing yourself.¡± With that said, she ushered me inside, then left, closing the doors behind her.

    I couldn¡¯t recall ever having a steaming hot tub of water that I could climb into and enjoy. For most of my life, I had washed in either lukewarm or cold water. No one had ever filled a giant tub with hot water just for me to bathe in.

    I quickly stripped off my travel worn clothes and carefully climbed into the steaming tub. The feeling of slowly submerging myself in the water immediately relaxed me, and I leaned back to soak my shoulders in the warmth.

    Aaaahhhh. This is amazing. I could lay in here for days and not grow tired of this feeling. It was hard to recall, but I thought that this might be what a hug felt like.

    However, knowing that the First Prince was waiting for my arrival, I didn¡¯t let myself get too carried away, and focused on scrubbing away the grime and grit that had seeped into my pores.

    Washed, dried, and wrapped tightly in a robe, I opened the doors of the bathing room and found Amelie waiting patiently for me in the hallway.

    Seeing that I was finished with my bath, she led me down another hallway to an ordinary looking brown door with an ornate frame that looked like mahogany and gold waves.

    On the other side of the door was the largest walk-in closet I¡¯d ever seen. Rows of pants, shirts, and jackets were lined up near one wall, and an equal number of rows on the opposite wall were dedicated to dresses and other women''s finery.

    Along the far wall was a series of curtains that looked like they led to private dressing rooms. At the center of the room was a circular platform, brightly lit and surrounded by mirrors.

    Amelie gestured to a set of open curtains on the back wall. ¡°Your clothes are in there, my Lord. I will await you here to assist if you have trouble with anything.¡±

    Obediently I entered the dressing room and found the suit she''d chosen for me earlier, which consisted of a deep emerald colored jacket and pants, and a high collared violet shirt. The suit had a velvety feel to it and the shirt was a soft cotton with no buttons.

    I pulled the shirt over my head and discovered that it clung to my form nicely without feeling too tight, and the high necked collar was soft, not stifling. I put on the pants and the jacket as well, pleased to discover that all of it fit perfectly. The jacket had an asymmetrical design, with one side of the fabric draped across my chest and a single button to hold it in place.

    When I looked in the mirror, something I rarely did, I was shocked by the reflection that looked back at me. Despite my overgrown hair, I truly looked the part of a beautiful young noble.

    The green of the dark emerald suit, accented by subtle violet embroidery, suited the green of my eyes perfectly. The muted color of the shirt was the perfect, gentle contrast to the reddish blond of my hair.

    The First Prince¡¯s maid Amelie was indeed quite adept at choosing clothes.

    For the first time in my life, I felt like I truly looked like the son of a Duke. My face, for once free of bruises, reminded me of the mother from my memories. I looked so much more like her than I did my father. I wished I had her eyes as well, instead of his.

    My heart ached when I thought about her. I missed her so much. Fighting off the wave of melancholy that crashed over me, I re-opened the curtains and walked back out.

    Amelie made quite a fuss about how much better I looked before affixing a matching violet and green embroidered handkerchief in the pocket of the jacket, which balanced the unbalanced suit quite nicely.

    Amelie also provided me with a set of what she called suitable shoes. They were simple in style compared to the suit and they were surprisingly comfortable.

    It seemed that I now had Amelie¡¯s seal of approval, and she continued guiding me through the Palace to find the First Prince.

    Once we were moving again, I became certain we were taking a different route than the one I had taken with the Second Prince the day before. I saw color schemes, staircases, and a large open common area that I was certain I hadn''t seen prior.

    We seemed to be moving through the central area of the Palace, and heading toward a wing on the exact opposite side of the Palace from where my room was. As we passed through the more populated areas, I could feel a stark difference from the day before.

    The vast majority of people didn¡¯t even notice our passing, and I no longer felt like everyone¡¯s eyes were on me. I suppose it helped that I was no longer dirty, bedraggled, or in chains. I wasn¡¯t being accompanied by a member of the Royal Family this time either.

    I followed Amelie and she started leading me away from the populated areas to a more secluded section. We¡¯ve been walking for half of a movement already. How large is this place?

    ¡°It takes a movement to walk from one end of the Palace to the other, due to the complicated layout of the hallways,¡± Amelie answered my thoughts. ¡°But where we are going is not much further from here.¡±

    True to her words, after leading me down a few more themed hallways, we stopped in front of a set of plain white doors. There were no adornments or framework to mark them, it was just a set of white doors with shiny gold handles.

    Amelie reached up and knocked twice, then three times, then once, and we waited for a response from the other side.

    ¡°You may enter,¡± a voice informed us from the other side of the door. Amelie gave me a quick reassuring smile and opened the door, gesturing for me to enter first.

    I stepped through the door and was greeted by a surprisingly simple looking room. It was elegant and luxurious, yes, but it lacked the garish overdecoration that the rest of the Palace boasted.

    The walls were a simple unpatterned white, the floors were a dark gray marble, and the room had no ornate artwork or sculptures housed within.

    In the middle of the simple sitting room was a large beige rug with a short and wide wooden table at its center. Around the table were six dark brown armchairs, two of which were already occupied.

    In one chair sat an elderly man, with long white hair, wearing a long bronze colored robe. In the other chair sat his Highness, the First Prince, Elantro de Vray, Crown Prince of Vrayna.

    He had the same silvery sheened blond hair as his brother, but that was where the similarities ended. He was a beautiful man, with a warm smile that easily reached his golden colored eyes.

    Those sparkling golden eyes were the mark of the one who was destined to be King of Vrayna.

    In every generation, a child with gold eyes would be born to the Royal Family, and that child was said to be marked by the Gods as the one destined to rule humanity. Sometimes it was the King¡¯s own child, sometimes a younger cousin or nephew.

    Whoever they were, from the moment they opened their golden eyes, their lives were no longer their own.

    First Prince Elantro was the eldest son of the current King, and had been raised to rule from birth. Standing before him, I felt a sense of awe and reverence that I never felt when I was near his brother, the Second Prince.

    ¡°Julien de Ramport,¡± he greeted me, ¡°Please be seated. We have much to discuss and very little time before my brother realizes I¡¯ve taken you away and comes to chaste me.¡±

    Realizing that I was just standing dumbly before the Crown Prince of Vrayna, I hurriedly bowed to him and cursed at myself in my mind. Idiot! What are you doing just staring at the First Prince like a hapless moron? Pull yourself together!

    Amelie stepped forward and motioned me to one of the empty chairs at the table, indicating I should sit. I hesitated for a moment, overwhelmed by the thought of sitting at the same table as the future King. A light smile danced across her lips, as if she were amused by my inner struggle.

    Not wanting to appear rude, I quickly sat down in the proffered chair. To my surprise, Amelie, a lowly Palace maid, sat down in one of the other vacant chairs without waiting for an invitation.

    ¡°Lord Erris,¡± the First Prince said to the elderly man seated next to him, "if you please?¡±

    ¡°Of course, your Highness,¡± Lord Erris promptly replied, then he began to mutter what sounded like words from an ancient foreign language under his breath.

    The unfamiliar syllables sent shivers down my spine as he spoke them, and I saw what looked like a sparkling white mist shimmer into existence around where we sat.

    When Lord Erris finished chanting, the mist around us glowed a bright white for a split second, then vanished.

    Magic! I thought in amazement, I¡¯ve never seen someone use it before! That was incredible!

    Smiling indulgently at my enraptured expression, the First Prince explained, ¡°Lord Erris comes from a long line of magic users, one of only two families in the entire Kingdom who have retained the knowledge. The spell he just cast for me is a sound barrier; a spell that will allow us to converse without fear of being heard by outsiders. I¡¯m certain there is much you wish to know, and I assure you I will do my best to address all of your concerns in due time. But first, I have a question that I must ask you.¡±

    Without thinking, I looked up and accidentally made eye contact with the First Prince. Nervously, I lowered my eyes, worried I might have offended him. I couldn¡¯t imagine he would consider me, an unwanted bastard sent to ruin his peace treaty, worthy of meeting his golden gaze.

    ¡°Julien,¡± he continued, seemingly unbothered by my lack of manners. ¡°I must ask you to be completely honest with me in this. I sent one of my men disguised as a regular knight to follow my brother to Ramport, so I have a fairly good idea of what occurred there. My dear brother assumes that, simply because I choose to be kind, that I must also be gullible and naive, but I can assure you I am neither. From what was reported to me, you were taken from Ramport as a prisoner, yet I have been repeatedly assured that you volunteered for this. So tell me now, did you truly choose this?¡±

 Chapter Six

    I froze, uncertain as to how I should answer him. The Second Prince had made it clear what would happen to me if his brother discovered the truth. But how could I dare to lie to my future King?

    And I had no way to explain my situation to him. All I could tell him was yes or no.

    I looked back up at him, daring to meet his gaze, begging him with my eyes not to make me answer.

    ¡°You needn¡¯t look so concerned,¡± the First Prince said, ¡°The sound barrier is secure, and no one will know what we discuss today. I imagine my brother has you under some kind of threat, but I can assure you that no matter how you answer, you will be under my protection and safe from the consequences. So I ask you again, did you truly choose this?¡±

    I still didn''t know how to answer him.

    If I said no, would they send me back to my father? I couldn''t go back there. Anything was better than being handed over to Albrecht. But to say yes would have been a lie.

    I was so tired of being afraid. I just wanted to be sent as far away from my father''s house as possible, somewhere that I wouldn''t have to feel afraid. What answer could I give him to guarantee that?

    Not knowing what else to do, I shrugged and averted my eyes once more.

    ¡°Your Highness,¡± Amelie interrupted carefully, ¡°If I may?¡±

    ¡°Amie, of course,¡± the First Prince replied with surprising familiarity, ¡°This is why I wanted to include you in this. I¡¯d prefer for it to come from Marquis Julien directly, but it doesn¡¯t seem like that will be happening.¡±

    I stiffened at their words. What was she planning to do to me?

    Amelie closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, then opened her eyes and grabbed my unsuspecting hand. She stared intently at me for a moment and shivers ran down my spine once more.

    ¡°He doesn¡¯t seem to hold hostility toward the beastmen, but he wasn¡¯t a willing party in this either,¡± she commented, confirming the very thing I hadn¡¯t wanted to answer, ¡°However, even if he was taken from there as a prisoner, he does not wish to return to his father''s home. His negative emotions flare up whenever he considers it. I¡¯m also inclined to believe he is under some kind of threat if this doesn''t work out the way your brother, the Second Prince, desires.¡±

    How could she possibly know that? Panic began to set in. I pulled my hand away from her, grasping it as if it were wounded.

    ¡°My Lord,¡± she continued, addressing her words to me, ¡°I understand your hesitation but I promise we are here to help you, not hurt you.¡±

    Lord Erris chuckled and said, ¡°Amie, the poor boy doesn''t even know about your ability yet. The more you speak, the more uncomfortable you''re going to make him." He turned to the First Prince and asked, "Your Highness, if I may?¡±

    ¡°Yes, yes, yes,¡± the First Prince responded, ¡°I¡¯ve told both of you countless times to stop asking permission to speak freely.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, your Highness,¡± Lord Erris responded, unbothered by the light scolding. ¡°Julien, like myself, Amelie here is a magic user. She¡¯s a cousin of mine, actually. However, her powers are very different from mine. I can use my magic to control the things around me, but hers is a more passive ability. You''ve already noticed that she knows far more than she should, right? Well, that¡¯s exactly why his Highness sent her to you.¡±

    I had definitely noticed. I looked at her with fear in my eyes. How much did she know?

    ¡°I can¡¯t directly read your thoughts,¡± she clarified in response to my wary look. ¡°I¡¯m a high level empath. I can read emotions clearly and I can sense some of the thoughts of those around me. But the thoughts are often incomplete and I¡¯m not always completely accurate. Although I admit you are easier to read than most.¡±

    So that¡¯s it, I thought. What an incredible and terrifying ability.

    It seemed absolutely surreal to me that I was sitting at a table with a member of the Royal Family and two magic users, who were rare to the point of being legendary. From my lonely bedroom in the back wing of my father¡¯s house to here, how did this happen?

    ¡°Julien,¡± Lord Erris continued, ¡°I have served his Highness since he was a young lad. I know him well and I can tell you with confidence that he will protect you from whatever consequences you fear.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps it would be best if I explained more about our current situation,¡± the First Prince interjected, ¡°I know it¡¯s a bit much for me to ask you for your trust when I haven''t done anything to earn it.

    ¡°First, let me say that peace with the Beastlands is of the utmost importance to me. My father, the King, experienced great pressure from the southern and western ducal families to start this fruitless war, which has caused nothing but suffering for both humans and beastmen alike.

    ¡°I have spoken with General Rastari about this turn of events, and he is willing to overlook your father and my brother¡¯s tricks. The Beastlands have no desire to continue this war. They had no grievances with the human Kingdom before now, and they fought to protect themselves, not to win.

    ¡°I am sick of seeing my people die to protect themselves from something that was never a threat to begin with. The beastmen are not dangerous monsters, and they''re not our enemy. They''re just different from us.¡±

    I listened to his words, desperately wanting to believe what he was telling me.

    I knew well enough that the beastmen were neither monsters nor our enemies. From the lion beastman and his cub that I¡¯d known in my youth, I had experienced nothing but kindness and friendship.

    I didn¡¯t hate the beastmen and wanted to see the war end, but how could I agree to marry someone I¡¯d never met? I wasn¡¯t even sure if I could trust the First Prince¡¯s intentions. He was saying all the right things, but what if he turned out to be no different from my father?

    For over nine years, I¡¯d been taught over and over again that I couldn¡¯t trust anything. People who claimed to be on my side were liars, and nobody cared what happened to an unloved, mute bastard like me. If my own father abused me, loathed me, and threw me away, how could I trust a stranger like the First Prince?

    ¡°Oh, you poor dear,¡± Amelie suddenly said, looking at me with a sad expression, ¡°it¡¯s been hard for you hasn¡¯t it?¡±

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    Unbidden, tears threatened to fill my eyes and spill over down my cheeks. No, I won¡¯t cry. If I cry, they win. Hold it in, hold it in. Send it to the fog.

    I looked away from Amelie and stared at my hands in my lap, trying to contain my emotions. Who knew kindness could feel so cruel?

    ¡°Julien,¡± the First Prince continued, ¡°Perhaps, rather than asking if it is your will to be here, I should ask you a different question.

    ¡°Would you be willing to meet with the beastmen who have come here and consider helping us? My brother might have ulterior motives, but his claim that you and your sister are the only ducal children of marriageable age is true.

    ¡°I am quite certain that your family will resist if I order your sister to fulfill the marriage condition. Your father sent you out of spite and fear, but despite his intentions, this may be the best solution. I don''t like how we got to this point, but I can''t help but think that you are the better choice for this union regardless.

    ¡°So, will you meet with General Rastari and the other beast generals? For now, I won¡¯t ask any more from you than that.¡±

    I took a deep breath to calm my emotions and looked at the First Prince again. Try as I might, I couldn¡¯t see any deception or malice in his eyes. If he wanted to, he could simply order me to do this and there wouldn¡¯t be anything I could do about it, but instead he had asked. That had to count for something.

    Hesitantly, I nodded, agreeing to his request.

    It was agreed that the beastman generals would be summoned immediately. I was still terrified, but there was a faint feeling of hope in my heart as Lord Erris went to retrieve them.

    ¡°I hope you know that you have my heartfelt gratitude for agreeing to this,¡± the First Prince said to me after Lord Erris had left. ¡°I don¡¯t know all of your story, but from what Amie has said, I think you¡¯ve been through quite a bit.

    ¡°Since my youth, I have always been First Prince of the Kingdom before I was Elantro de Vray, but I cannot deny I was cherished and nurtured by my father, the King. Your father, the Duke of Ramport has long been a thorn in my side. I can''t imagine your upbringing was a pleasant one.

    ¡°I also can''t imagine how it was possible for the Duke of Ramport to have a male heir that almost no one knew about. Odd indeed that the entire kingdom has seen Emma, his beautiful daughter whom he cherishes so dearly, yet I only discovered he had a son when we chose his daughter for this marriage.¡±

    I stared down at the floor, neither confirming nor denying what he was saying. But everything he said was true. My sister Emma was the darling child, taken to Royal events and banquets, and frequently shown off to the nobility of the Kingdom.

    I, on the other hand, was kept in a single wing of the Duke¡¯s residence, rarely leaving my room; unloved, unknown, and unwanted. It was as if I didn''t really exist.

    Amelie got up from her chair to kneel next to mine. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she took my hand in hers. ¡°I don¡¯t know the whole of what you¡¯ve been through, but I can feel the pain you''re trying to hide. You poor child. Your father must have been horrible to you for you to feel this way.¡±

    I met her tear-filled eyes for a moment before the weight of her gaze became too much to bear. After years of abuse, it almost broke me to see someone crying on my behalf.

    She rested her forehead on the arm of the chair and gripped my hand tightly. I reached out with my other hand and gently stroked her hair, the way my mother used to do for me. It was enough that I had to endure this pain. No one else should have to suffer with me.

    The moment was broken by a knock at the door. The beastmen had arrived.

    Amelie immediately stood up, wiped away her tears, and gave me a small smile.

    ¡°Believe in us. It will all be okay,¡± she said softly, ¡°Don¡¯t let your fate be decided by fear, remember? You don¡¯t have to be afraid anymore.¡±

    She walked over to the door and opened it, leading four imposing figures into the room. I instinctively cowered in my chair as they entered. I had no fear of beastmen, but I was ever fearful of knights and soldiers.

    ¡°General Rastari,¡± the First Prince greeted, ¡°Generals Shidah, Coraggio, and Andrian as well. Thank you for attending on such short notice.¡±

    The most noticeable of the group stepped forward. He was well over six feet tall, with powerful looking muscles and skin so dark it was almost black.

    His eyes weren¡¯t human at all, but bright orange in color, reminiscent of the eyes I could imagine his tiger beast form having. He smiled broadly, revealing beautiful white teeth and large fangs.

    ¡°So this is him?¡± Rastari asked in a deep, booming voice, gesturing towards me. When the First Prince nodded, his grin widened and he greeted me, ¡°Well, hello future husband, haha.¡±

    I shrunk a little in my chair, intimidated by his loud presence and bold words. Watching my reaction seemed to amuse him, and he laughed heartily, the ears on top of his head twitching ever so slightly. I had no idea what he was so cheerful about, given the current situation, but I did my best to smile and not cower away from him.

    ¡°General Rastari,¡± the first Prince interjected, ¡°May I introduce Marquis Julien de Ramport, son of the Duke of Ramport, and the person who might become your marriage partner. The choice will be left up to him.

    "As I explained last night, Julien''s father refused to send his daughter, and thought to trouble us by sending Julien in her stead. But there is more to it than just that. Simply spoken, the boy can''t speak and doesn''t trust a one of us regardless. But he hasn''t refused our offer as of yet.

    "Amie has read him a few times now, and it is safe to assume that he has seen nothing but the worst of that bastard Duke. It is our current understanding that he is a victim, not a pawn.¡±

    I flinched at his words. Nothing but the worst indeed. Even if I ignored the years of abuse, he was still hoping I¡¯d be killed when I was presented at the engagement banquet, finally freeing him of his useless, worthless son.

    ¡°Hey kid,¡± Rastari said to me, ¡°I get this isn¡¯t your ideal situation, and I can assure you it isn¡¯t mine either. But if we go ahead with this, your asshole dad''s plan will be ruined, the war will be ended, and I''m pretty sure your life will be a lot less shitty in the Beastlands. So what do you think? Wanna get married?¡±

    He wiggled his eyebrows at me as if it were all a great big joke to him. But I didn¡¯t miss the implications in his lighthearted words. Before I could really consider it, the largest of the four figures stepped forward.

    ¡°Enough Rastari,¡± said the enormously built man, ¡°You heard the story last night. The boy was essentially taken hostage and sent here. I doubt he¡¯s in the mood for your behavior.¡±

    He spoke in a calm, low voice that left no room for argument. Other than his face and neck, the man was covered in brown fur, and he was by far the tallest and widest person in the room. However, he had a serene aura about him that didn¡¯t match his physique.

    He turned to me and said, ¡°My name is Shidah. I¡¯m the general of the northern bear tribe. My greetings to you, Julien de Ramport.¡±

    He stepped forward and extended his hand to me. Not wanting to offend him, I stood up and nervously held out my hand. His furry hand completely engulfed my own. Now that I was standing next to him, I realized he must be close to seven feet tall. I was completely dwarfed by the giant beastman and felt like a small child next to him. He took a step back and gestured to the smallest of the four.

    ¡°That one there is Coraggio of the eastern wolf tribe,¡± Shidah told me. Coraggio took a step forward with his hand extended. I stepped past Shidah and held out my hand to the wolf general. He took my hand between both of his own and squeezed them gently.

    ¡°Rastari is a good beastman,¡± Coraggio assured me, rather than greeting me. ¡°Despite his personality, he¡¯ll make a fine husband for you.¡±

    Coraggio was only a little taller than me, and not particularly furry at all. His eyes, however, were the lightest color of blue I¡¯d ever seen, and his hair was a silver-grey color that you¡¯d usually only see on someone older. The ears atop his head stood up straight and I could see a tail twitching behind him. He somehow reminded me of an excited puppy.

    ¡°And the youngun in the back here,¡± Shidah continued, ¡°is our newly appointed general for the western lion tribe, Andrian.¡±

    I turned to look at General Andrian, who stood quietly at the back of the group. He was certainly younger than the other generals by a number of years. I held out my hand to greet him as I had with the other two.

    However, the lion general made no move to greet me. He just stood there, staring at me in shock, as if he¡¯d seen a ghost.

 Chapter Seven

    I didn''t know what to make of the lion general''s expression. Why would he look at me like that? Had I done something wrong?

    Before I had time to consider my mistake, he suddenly moved towards me. Instinctively, I backed away in fear, bumping into the armchair behind me. With nowhere else to go, I stood there helplessly as he closed in on me.

    I found myself trapped between General Andrian and the chair, and he suddenly pressed his face into my neck. He grabbed my shoulders to hold me in place as he frantically sniffed all around my neck. His hot breath tickled my skin, making me feel weird and tingly.

    ¡°Andrian!¡± General Shidah shouted, ¡°What the hell are you doing?!¡±

    General Andrian pulled away from me with an intoxicated expression and wild eyes, ¡°Just¡­ just¡­ Give us a moment.¡±

    He took a step back and took my face in both hands. He searched my face with a desperate look, gazing questioningly into my eyes. With our noses close enough to touch, my fear dissipated as I realized that I felt a strange sense of familiarity from that face. That deep auburn, mane-like hair, those amber colored eyes.

    A memory stirred in the back of my mind.

    The lion general''s eyes lit up, as if he¡¯d seen the recognition in my eyes. He backed away from me completely and smiled like he¡¯d thought of something. The next thing I knew, I was standing face to face with an enormous lion.

    For a moment, I couldn¡¯t breathe. I wondered if he was going to attack me. But instead, he made a strange whining noise, butted his head into my stomach a couple of times, and looked up at me expectantly. When I didn¡¯t react, he did it again, then growled and reared up like he was getting ready to pounce.

    ¡°Rastari, what is the meaning of this?!¡± I heard the First Prince shout, frustration evident in his voice.

    ¡°I have no idea,¡± Rastari replied, perplexed, ¡°Andrian, what the hell is wrong with you?¡±

    ¡°Just wait,¡± I heard Amelie chime in softly. ¡°There¡¯s no need for concern. They¡¯ll figure it out for themselves.¡± Her words seemed to calm the First Prince immediately, as he voiced no further protest.

    While they tried to figure out what was going on, I was staring dumbly at the lion in front of me. His gestures were so familiar, but¡­

    No, it wasn''t possible.

    The lion whined again before standing up on his hind legs and placing both paws on my shoulders. He licked both of my cheeks with his rough tongue before dropping back down and sitting obediently in front of me.

    It wasn''t the first time I had experienced something like this. I was beginning to understand what the lion was trying to show me.

    But it couldn''t be.

    Memories of the lion cub I used to play with flooded my mind.

    When I was too tired to keep playing, he would whine and headbutt me, refusing to accept that we were done. How could I have forgotten that?

    And how he stood on his hind legs and licked my face to greet me, while I giggled and begged him to stop. That little lion cub had grown up into the handsome lion general I¡¯d just met?

    He shifted back into his human form and stood before me again. Despite the onslaught of memories rushing through my mind, I still had time to marvel at the fact he was fully clothed after coming out of his beast form.

    Beast magic was truly incredible. The cub¡¯s father had been able to do the same thing.

    I now understood why he looked so familiar to me. As I studied his human form, I could see the similarities between him and his father, the beastman who had been so kind to me as a child.

    ¡°Falyn?¡± he said tentatively.

    My heart was pounding so hard I felt like my chest might explode. It had been so long since I¡¯d been called by that name.

    It felt good to hear my name, but it brought on an unexpected rush of emotion as I thought about who I once was and recalled the things that I''d lost. Still, I was relieved to see he was okay.

    ¡°Is it really you?¡± he asked in a hopeful voice, cupping my face in his hands once more.

    Heart still pounding wildly, I nodded my head.

    He made a noise that was halfway between a laugh and a cheer and the next thing I knew, I had been lifted into the air and wrapped into his warm embrace. No longer fearful, I clung to him and felt the unfamiliar feeling of happiness enter my heart.

    ¡°If you two are done with your little reunion, would you care to explain to the rest of us what the hell is going on?¡± the First Prince interrupted, his vexation clear in his tone.

    ¡°Falyn is someone I¡¯ve been searching for,¡± Andrian replied, putting me back down on the ground but not releasing me from his arms. ¡°I¡¯ve been looking for him since before the war began. We knew each other when we were little.¡±

    ¡°Wait, Andrian,¡± Rastari cut in, ¡°Is he really the one? The one you¡¯ve been looking for? The human boy you¨C¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Andrian hurried to interrupt, ¡°he¡¯s the human I was looking for.¡±

    ¡°I hate to disappoint you, General Andrian,¡± the First Prince said in an unhappy tone, ¡°but this is not some commoner boy named Falyn. This is Julien de Ramport, son of the Duke of Ramport. Julien, why are you playing along with this? Did my brother put you up to something?¡±

    Startled by the accusation, I sat up from my position against Andrian¡¯s broad chest and looked at the First Prince while shaking my head. Desperately I looked to Amelie, pleading with my eyes, hoping she would tell them I wasn''t lying.

    Seeming to understand what I wanted, Amelie touched the First Prince¡¯s arm and said, ¡°I think there is more to their story. I don¡¯t know how it is possible, but they share the same memories. Julien de Ramport and the commoner boy Falyn that General Andrian knew as a child¡­ somehow, they are indeed the same person.¡±

    Things settled down quickly after that, and soon we were all seated around the table together. Amelie stood behind the First Prince, while the four generals and myself were seated.

    Andrian had pulled his chair as close to mine as he could manage and was idly stroking my hair. For some reason he seemed determined to keep touching me, as if he was afraid that I would disappear if he didn¡¯t.

    Despite my usual aversion to being touched, I found myself leaning into his caresses. It was nice to be touched without pain.

    ¡°Now,¡± the First Prince began, ¡°I think an explanation is in order. I need to understand how the son of the Duke of Ramport is somehow also a commoner boy named Falyn from one of the eastern border towns. General Andrian, why don''t we start with you telling me why you came here looking for one of my subjects?¡±

    ¡°Well, he¡¯s someone I knew when I was a cub,¡± Andrian answered carefully. ¡°It was before I gained my human form, which is why he didn¡¯t recognize me at first.

    ¡°I was out in the woods one day and came across a human boy who¡¯d gotten so lost that he¡¯d passed beyond the borderland and into the Beastlands. My pa always had a fondness for humans, so he took care of him and helped him find his way home.

    ¡°After that, once every few moon cycles or so, the boy would come back to visit. My pa was a ranger, so we lived in a pretty isolated place, and Falyn was my only friend. Then one day, he stopped coming. Something felt off about it, and I wanted to go look for him, but I couldn¡¯t because that was around the same time that the first woman was found near the borderland.¡±

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    I looked up sharply at that. A woman found near the borderland? I had no idea what they were talking about, but my stomach began to churn. Instinct told me this was a conversation I wanted to escape from.

    ¡°Were you not aware?¡± the First Prince asked me. ¡°Did the Duke not bother to educate his son about how the war with the Beastlands started?¡±

    I shook my head and looked at him questioningly. A woman was found, and that had something to do with how the war started. Now that I thought about it, I still didn¡¯t know what had happened to my mother¡¯s body¡­

    ¡°Almost ten years ago now,¡± he continued, ¡°the bodies of women from the eastern towns and villages began showing up near the borderland. All of them had been raped and tortured, and the bodies were covered in claw marks and bites. Not all bodies were fully intact, either. The first woman was found near the town of Rovette.¡±

    My heart sank at his words. Rovette was my hometown.

    I suddenly felt like something was clogging my throat, preventing me from drawing a proper breath. Flashes of the violence of that night exploded in my mind. My mother crying. The Duke¡¯s knights taking turns with her. Her screams. Her pain. Albrecht touching me, telling me I was next.

    The lump in my throat grew larger and suddenly I couldn¡¯t breath at all. Everything grew hazy as I desperately struggled for air. Violent memories that I thought I¡¯d put away assaulted me, taking over my conscious mind.

    I began to drift away. Everything around me was fading into the background and I sought out the comfort of the fog.

    But just as everything around me was about to disappear, I felt myself being lifted from my seat and enveloped in warmth.

    ¡°Falyn!¡± I heard a voice calling my name. ¡°Falyn, calm down. Just breathe slowly. You''re gonna be okay. Stay with me, alright?¡±

    I didn¡¯t know who was calling me, but hearing my name, my real name, helped bring me back from where I was going. Had anyone ever comforted me like this before?

    Warm arms held me and a gentle hand stroked my hair with great care. Soft words were spoken to me, telling me that I would be okay and that I wasn''t alone. The fog that clouded my vision lifted, leaving my eyes stinging with unshed tears.

    From my position in someone¡¯s lap, I could see three of the generals watching me cautiously from their chairs. The First Prince was still in his seat, but he was focused on Amelie, who was on her knees next to him, sobbing softly with her face pressed into his thigh.

    I realized that the lap I was on must be Andrian¡¯s, and I turned my head around to look up at him. He stared down at me with eyes full of affection and concern. Meanwhile, I felt a deep sense of shame at his concern for me.

    Hadn¡¯t he realized that I wasn¡¯t the same Falyn anymore? I was just the Duke¡¯s unwanted, useless bastard. Julien de Ramport, a disappointing mute. I was pathetic. I didn¡¯t deserve his kindness.

    I turned away from his gentle gaze and looked down at Amelie on the floor. The sight of her crying only increased my self loathing. She was an empath. I was the one causing her pain. It was all my fault. Those were my tears that she was being forced to shed. I didn¡¯t know how much she had seen, but it had affected her deeply. I wished I could tell her I was sorry.

    The four generals and I sat in silence, each of us lost in quiet contemplation, except perhaps Andrian, who continued to stroke my hair and rub my back. In spite of myself I grew relaxed at the foreign yet nostalgic feeling of being comforted by my childhood friend. It was as if my best and worst memories were fighting for space in my mind, tugging me back and forth between sentimentality and despair.

    The First Prince ignored everyone until Amelie calmed down. Her sobs quieted and she slowly got her breathing under control. The entire time she was crying, she¡¯d kept her face pressed into the First Prince¡¯s leg and clung to him for support. He had made no move to stop her either. Instead, he gently ran his fingers through her hair, calling her with gentle endearments and speaking soothing words. Their relationship seemed to be much closer than just master and servant.

    Eventually, Amelie raised her head and looked up at me with puffy, red eyes. It took her a few attempts before she found her voice again. When she finally spoke, she very carefully asked me, ¡°Falyn, your mother¡¯s name¡­ Was your mother¡¯s name Simona? Simona from the eastern border town of Rovette?¡±

    I could tell by the way everyone in the room was watching me that my answer could carry a lot of weight. Slowly and clearly, I nodded in response to her question. After my confirmation, the air in the room suddenly became heavier.

    The First Prince quickly interrupted, ¡°Juli¨C er, Falyn, I suppose, this might be a hard question, but I need you to answer me honestly. Do you know anything about how your mother died?¡±

    Hearing his question took my breath away. Flashes of things best left forgotten began to invade my mind. I held my head against the onslaught of violent images that began emerging. I couldn¡¯t make it stop. Memories I¡¯d fought long and hard to suppress battled their way back into my mind.

    And I wasn¡¯t the only one being forced to see them. Amelie grasped her head as I had and let out a faint, strangled cry as the memories of my mother¡¯s last night forced their way into her mind.

    ¡°They made him watch.¡± Amelie¡¯s gasping voice echoed through the quiet room. ¡°They made him watch for hours, and¡­ I-I-I can¡¯t. I need to leave.¡±

    Amelie shakily dragged herself to her feet and stumbled toward the door. A gasping sob escaped from her mouth as she closed the door. I felt terrible. No one should ever have to see those things. That was why I''d put that night away in a place where I couldn''t see it anymore. I remembered that it happened. That was enough. I didn''t understand why it was coming back.

    The First Prince looked regretfully at the door his maid had just left through, but it seemed he had resigned himself to staying where he was for the moment. He sighed and turned back to me with a serious expression on his face.

    ¡°I understand that this isn''t a pleasant subject for you, but there is still one more question that needs to be asked," the First Prince continued, "To be honest, I¡¯ve never seen Amie react like that before. She''s a lot tougher than she looks, and I can only imagine what you''ve suffered for it to bother her so much.¡± He hesitated for a moment, as if searching for the right words, then asked directly, "Was it beastmen who murdered your mother?¡±

    It wasn''t the question I was expecting and I immediately shook my head to say no. The beastmen¡¯s faces turned grim at my answer. I suddenly understood how my father¡¯s knights had gotten away with such a vile crime.

    ¡°I had a feeling you might say that,¡± the First Prince sighed, ¡°I suppose it¡¯s a good thing in the long run, but it creates a whole new set of problems to deal with. However, I promised that would be all for today, and I intend to keep my word. We¡¯ll leave it at that for now. Tonight will be your engagement party, assuming you are willing to proceed. Much will depend on tonight''s banquet, as we must convince the nobility that I¡¯m not simply selling one of our citizens into slavery for the sake of peace. I hate to do this, but there is a matter I must attend to, so I will be taking my leave. I trust the five of you can come to some sort of agreement without me.¡±

    With that, he left the room, undoubtedly chasing after Amelie, and I was left alone with the four beastmen. Now that I¡¯d calmed down, I became very aware that I was still seated upon one of those beastmen¡¯s lap. I felt the blood rise to my cheeks and I awkwardly tried to free myself from his arms. Andrian clearly had no intent of letting me go, and he tightened his grip on me, burying his face into the nape of my neck.

    Rastari let out a booming laugh and said, ¡°I think I¡¯ve had my bride stolen from me!¡±

    ¡°You couldn¡¯t come between such a sweet little pair, could you?¡± responded Shidah, who looked somewhat amused at my discomfort. ¡°If the humans can change the partner at the last minute, I don¡¯t see why we couldn¡¯t do the same.¡±

    ¡°Ah, yes, I suppose we could.¡± Rastari turned to look at the two of us that were sharing a chair. ¡°What do you think, Andrian, would you like to take my place?¡±

    ¡°Rastari,¡± Andrien said with an indecipherable expression, ¡°Would that truly be okay?¡±

    ¡°Of course, my friend,¡± Rastari assured him, ¡°Given the circumstances, I couldn¡¯t in good conscience proceed. The treaty doesn¡¯t need me, it just needs a general of the Beastlands.¡±

    Coraggio, who had mostly remained silent up until now, picked that moment to chime in. With his wolfish grin he said, ¡°So Andrian, does that mean you¡¯re gonna get to join with your first l¨C¡±

    ¡°Friend? Join with my first friend?¡± Andrian interrupted him with what sounded like a hint of a threat in his voice. My head was spinning and I couldn¡¯t quite process everything they were saying, but it sounded like they were suggesting I marry Andrian.

    ¡°What do you think, little human?¡± Rastari asked me with a sly smile. ¡°Would you feel a little better about all this if you could be joined with your friend here instead of me?¡±

    I considered it for a moment. I would have to marry one of them regardless, wouldn¡¯t I? The treaty between our nations was built around this marriage and if either side refused, we could be thrown back into chaos and war, just like my father and the Second Prince were hoping for.

    Wouldn¡¯t it be better to marry a friend rather than a stranger? I wonder what it would be like if I married him¡­ I bet Andrian would be a good husband.

    I was surprised to realize that I didn¡¯t find the idea objectionable at all. In fact, I was pretty sure the idea made me feel a little happy. I looked behind me at Andrian and realized he was watching me, waiting expectantly for my answer.

    Not fully understanding my own heart, I turned back to Rastari and nodded my agreement.

    ¡°Really?¡± Andrian asked in disbelief, ¡°Would that really be okay?¡±

    I looked into his eyes and saw his hope and anxiety reflecting back at me. I suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to run my hands through his mane and assure him. Despite the fact that he was a fully grown lion beastman, I couldn''t help but think he was cute.

    Wait, cute? Had I really just thought that a powerful beast general was cute? I was glad that the person who could sense my thoughts was no longer with us. I managed to give him a small smile and a nod before I suddenly became too embarrassed to look at him.

    I really just agreed to be his bride, didn''t I?

 Chapter Eight

    With the matter of the marriage decided, and the First Prince no longer there to facilitate the conversation, a brief silence fell upon the room. I suddenly felt awkward with our seating arrangement. Even if he was to be my marriage partner, to continue sitting on a beast general¡¯s lap seemed a little much. However, I couldn¡¯t think of a way to free myself without causing a fuss.

    ¡°So, little human,¡± Rastari said to me after a pause, ¡°you used to live in one of the eastern border towns?¡±

    I looked up at him and cautiously nodded my head. I hoped he wasn¡¯t planning to continue the line of questioning from earlier. I wasn¡¯t ready to try to face those memories again.

    ¡°Did you meet with beastmen often then? Is that why you don¡¯t stink of fear the way the rest of these humans do?¡± To my relief, he started asking questions that were far easier for me to answer.

    I shook my head to say no, then pointed at Andrian and shrugged my shoulders. I was trying to tell him that Andrian was the only one, but I wasn''t sure if my meaning would be clear. It had been a long time since I''d tried to communicate with someone.

    Did they really smell fear like it was a scent? I wondered if the First Prince smelled afraid.

    Rastari seemed to have understood what my gestures were meant to convey, as he nodded his head and continued, ¡°Well I, for one, am delighted by this turn of events. I wasn¡¯t looking forward to marrying some fragile human female who trembles at the mere sight of me.¡±

    He laughed loudly after he said that. It seemed that the tiger general was fond of laughing. If I hadn''t known better, I probably would have found his large, dark form and sparkling white fangs to be scary, but I was fairly confident that underneath his imposing exterior was the heart of a good man. Andrian''s father had been like that too.

    He then asked, ¡°Do you know much about the Beastlands?¡±

    I shook my head again. I had spent a lot of time with Andrian and his father, but they lived a rather isolated existence and I didn''t know anything about how the Beastlands worked.

    ¡°Well, first off, we don¡¯t have nobles and royals the way you humans do. You get what you earn and there¡¯s no such thing as birthright. Nobody is gonna treat you special just because you¡¯re the son of a duke or the mate of a general. But I don¡¯t get the feeling you that like that sort of thing anyway, do you?¡±

    No, no I wouldn¡¯t like it. After life in my father¡¯s house, I had experienced enough of the so-called nobility for a lifetime. The life of a commoner sounded rather appealing. A new life, similar to the one that was taken from me. A kind marriage partner who I dared to believe would treat me well. It all sounded too good to be true. It was certainly better than someone like me deserved.

    ¡°I¡¯ll leave it to Andrian to explain the details, but I wonder," Rastari paused and smiled mischievously, "do you know anything about how mating works?¡±

    ¡°Rastari¡­¡± Andrian said nervously, a hint of warning in his tone.

    I quickly indicated I didn¡¯t know, curious what Rastari might say that could make Andrian sound like that. Was there something I didn''t know?

    ¡°You humans choose mates based on what?¡± Rastari continued, unconcerned by the warning in Andrian¡¯s voice. ¡°Good bloodline? Power? Politics, perhaps? In the Beastlands, we choose our mates based on mutual desire. We usually find the person we¡¯re meant to be with through their scent. We call that scent their pheromones. Under normal circumstances, there¡¯s no arranged marriage. It goes against our instincts to be with someone we didn''t choose. But intertribal relations are widely accepted and choosing a mate of the same gender is also fine. If I recall correctly, you humans only allow males and females to join. That was part of the reason your father sent you here, wasn¡¯t it? Because he thought your gender would anger me? Fucking idiot. Anyway, my point is that, to us, the pheromones are what matter. Humans have them too, by the way. You¡¯re not evolved enough to notice them, but you have them and we can smell them.¡±

    Pheromones, huh? So beastmen found their partners by smell. I didn¡¯t know why he thought that was important to tell me. Was he trying to warn me that one day Andrian would find his mate and I would be abandoned?

    ¡°Fascinating fact,¡± Shidah added, ¡°There are actually a lot of beastmen who choose their mates when they¡¯re just cu¨C¡±

    ¡°I think that''s enough,¡± Andrian cut him off, ¡°I¡¯ll explain it to him later.¡±

    I twisted around to look at him, but his attention was focused on the other two generals. He looked, for lack of a better word, desperate. Like he was pleading with them.

    Then I realized what the generals were trying to tell me, and what Andrian was trying to hide. He had probably already found his mate a long time ago and wanted to avoid telling me.

    Was it possible that he couldn¡¯t be with his mate anymore because he wanted to help me? I instantly felt both guilty and grateful, but I also felt something else. Something that I couldn¡¯t quite make sense of. Was I disappointed?

    Wait, why was I disappointed? Getting out of Vrayna alive and starting over in the Beastlands was more than enough. This was the best outcome I could have ever hoped for. It would just be greedy to expect him to give up his mate for me.

    I promised myself that when the time came, I would be happy for him, that I would step aside and support them.

    Over the course of the early afternoon, I learned a lot about the Beastlands.

    The Beastlands were divided into three regions, and each region was further divided between the different animal tribes. The tribes all shared a common hierarchy; they had a main village run by a council of elders, the head shaman of the village, and a speaker for the people, who all reported to a main governing body for the region.

    Before the war, a general¡¯s job wasn¡¯t to wage war, but to stand guard against the monsters of the wildlands. Unlike the human land of Vrayna, where magic was rare, the Beastlands were full of magic. Beyond the Beastlands lay the wildlands, a land of wild magic that bred monsters and creatures beyond the scope of imagination. A general¡¯s job was to hold the border, protect their village, and keep the people safe from the monsters¨C until Vrayna started a war with them.

    Rastari had been a general of the tiger tribe for over ten years, earning the position when he was twenty three years of age. He was a powerful warrior who had been elected general after rallying his village''s soldiers against a group of orcs who had killed the former general. From the teasing that came from the other two, I gathered that he enjoyed himself with both women and men of any tribe, letting his nose decide whose bed he would end up in next. He''d been forced into his role in the marriage treaty due to an incident involving a superior''s daughter. When they told me I¡¯d dodged a bullet in the partner swap, I couldn¡¯t help but agree.

    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

    Shidah was a general from one of the bear tribes from the north. He¡¯d been a general for over ten years and was a seasoned veteran of many battles against the monsters of the wildlands on the northern border. His mate, a fellow bear, was waiting back home for him with their five cubs. He was stern but gentle, and I imagined he was a good father to his cubs. His appearance was deceptively menacing, as he was soft and serene, and seemingly at peace with everything around him.

    Coraggio came from one of the eastern wolf tribes. Like Andrian, he was a new general, having taken over halfway through the war when the previous general was killed in battle. He was the only one of the group who had fought on the front lines against Vrayna. He was more reserved than the other generals, but he was kind to me whenever he did speak. Despite being the only one in the room with human blood on his hands, he somehow seemed like the most harmless of the group. Something told me that was a carefully planned illusion.

    But the person I most wanted to hear about remained quiet. I managed to learn that he had become a general only a few moon cycles prior, after the previous lion general decided to retire. He had asked to be included in the marriage treaty contingent, hoping to find his long lost childhood friend, me.

    But that was all he would tell me. He seemed reluctant to say anything more than that, so I didn¡¯t get to hear his stories like I did with the others. I had no way of asking, but I thought he might be worried that I¡¯d feel guilty if I knew the truth: that he had to leave his mate behind to find me. I wished he wouldn¡¯t worry and that he would feel comfortable being honest. I could bear to hear the truth. I never expected a love match anyway.

    Sometime early in our conversation, servants came in to serve us drinks and lunch. The meal, which seemed to cater to the beastmen''s tastes, consisted of large sandwiches filled with hot sliced meat in a peppery gravy and a thick stew filled with vegetables I didn¡¯t recognize. The stew was difficult to eat while sitting on someone¡¯s lap, but I managed to stuff myself regardless.

    When the sun started to get lower in the sky, shortly after the third movement of descent, there was a knocking at the door and a collection of Palace servants, led by Lord Erris, entered the room. The beastmen were to follow one group with Lord Erris, who would help them dress and groom themselves, and I was to follow another with the same purpose.

    When I tried to get up, Andrian wasn''t willing to let me go and hugged me tightly. I wasn¡¯t able to properly protest it myself, but thankfully Rastari stepped in, reminding Andrian that I had to get ready for the banquet if we were to continue with the engagement. He reluctantly let go of my waist.

    It would have been a lie to say that I wanted to leave the safety of those warm arms. This whole afternoon had been a rare and precious experience for me. Andrian¡¯s embrace made me feel secure and safe, and I had enjoyed listening to the generals talk.

    I wondered if the four beastmen knew what an incredible gift they had given me by treating me with such kindness. It had been so long since I had done something so simple as sitting around a table with friends. I hoped there would be more days like this in the future.

    A voice in the back of my mind told me that hope was dangerous and useless, but this small bit of hope felt like my first drink of water after years of being parched. I needed that sip so badly that it didn¡¯t matter if the water might be poisoned.

    The Palace servants took me to a dressing room similar to the one Amelie had brought me to earlier. This one, however, was much larger and grander, decorated in white and gold, with glittering gems worked into elaborate designs around the windows. While I stared wide-eyed at the sparkling dressing room, one of the servants, an older woman with grey streaks in her black hair, began organizing the others and barking orders.

    Since I had bathed that morning, the first order of business was to fix my ¡°common¡± looking hair. I was led through a set of shimmering silver curtains into a room with harsh white lighting that made me want to cover my eyes. The walls and floor were all white and silver, further emphasizing the garishness of the lighting.

    They sat me in a chair that resembled a stool with armrests, and began cutting off my shaggy hair. They styled it in a manner that they claimed was popular with the younger nobility, with bangs that swept across my forehead and got in the way when I blinked.

    A different suit had been chosen for me to wear to the banquet, pale green with only a single center button to hold the jacket closed. The shirt was a dense black with yellow designs along the collar, and there were black pants and a pair of heeled boots for me to wear as well.

    Shorn and adorned, I was led to a mirror and was instantly entranced by the image reflected there. The clothes, the hair, and some other subtle touches had transformed me into someone new. I felt like a butterfly that had emerged from its cocoon and discovered that it was no longer a worm. Seeing my self admiration, the servants looked pleased with themselves.

    I was ushered back to the same room I¡¯d spent the afternoon in and found the First Prince sitting alone at the table, waiting for me. He too was dressed for the evening, the perfect embodiment of the Royal family, a vision of golden fabric that shimmered and clung to his graceful figure. His golden eyes sparkled more vividly than before, making his suit look like a pale imitation of the real thing.

    ¡°Ah, Julien,¡± he greeted me, using my father¡¯s name for me once again. ¡°First of all, thank you for your cooperation in this matter. I will not forget your loyalty and devotion.¡±

    He gave me a disarming smile before getting down to business. ¡°Of the nobles present tonight, we can count on the support of less than half, so be on your guard when people approach you. So far, the only duchy that has openly supported the treaty is Shelfort in the east. Sharing the largest border with the Beastlands, the eastern lands have been devastated by the war and have opposed it from the beginning. We can count on the Shelfort nobles to be on our side.¡±

    What he said made sense to me so I gave him a brief nod to indicate my understanding. I hadn¡¯t expected things to be so complicated. It all seemed a bit much for my introduction to noble politics.

    ¡°Naturally your father is in favor of war,¡± the First Prince explained, ¡°not just war, but total annihilation. He has publicly declared that the so-called subhumans of the Beastlands are nothing more than animals that must be eradicated for our safety, using the actions of his own men as justification. The western duchy of Lindenfort shares his views. Your stepmother hails from the west, so it¡¯s no surprise that they would side with Ramport on this matter. The wild card is the northern duchy of Misenport. There seems to be some internal turmoil regarding their stance on this. We cannot count on them, nor can we discount them.¡±

    I listened wide-eyed as he explained the mess I had been thrust into the center of. At least there were some, albeit few, who stood on the side of peace.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be honest with you,¡± the First Prince continued, ¡°The majority of this nation is still clamoring for blood, and I don¡¯t have enough allies among the nobility. My brother claims to be acting in my best interests, but there are far too many nobles who would rather see him seated upon the throne. He swears he has no interest in such things, but I no longer feel like I can trust him. My father, the King, has chosen to trust my judgment regarding the peace treaty, not because he actually wants peace with the Beastlands, but to show the ducal houses that he supports me. However, I fear that if I fail in this endeavor, I may lose what little support I have.¡±

    I was surprised to hear of the First Prince¡¯s concerns. It had never occurred to me that someone as powerful as he could feel threatened or weak. Not being able to trust one¡¯s own family was something I understood all too well.

    ¡°Part of our goal tonight is to show that the beastmen aren¡¯t the monsters we think they are, and that we really can coexist. Most of the people you encounter tonight will be looking for ways to put pressure on me, possibly by trying to prove we¡¯re forcing you into this. Make sure you never forget that they don¡¯t care about your wellbeing at all, and just want an excuse to make war. They want the resources of the Beastlands, but they refuse to share them. Instead of trade, they advocate force because they don''t consider them people. Your father is the perfect example. He assumed that the beastmen were so irrational and animalistic that his spiteful little trick would work.¡±

    I smiled a little as he said that. Hearing the way he spoke about my father, I couldn¡¯t help but want to trust him, if only a little.

    ¡°From here on out, I¡¯ll be relying on you and General Rastari to make this work. And¡­ please make it look like you¡¯re happy,¡± he pleaded to me. ¡°The King could still overrule me if the nobles push hard enough.¡±

    It was as I expected. Actually, it was better than I expected. But there was one thing that concerned me. Had no one told the First Prince that the Beastlands had also changed their marriage partner?

    Before I had a chance to worry about it, the beastmen returned with Lord Erris.

 Chapter Nine

    I turned to the door as Lord Erris led the four beastmen back into the room. Like myself, they had been polished, groomed, and dressed for the evening event. Compared to their rough appearances earlier, they were almost unrecognizable. The four generals looked uncomfortable wearing the Vraynian style of clothing, but it didn¡¯t affect how striking they all looked.

    Andrian quickly pushed past the other three and knelt down before my chair. With his long auburn mane tied back, I could see his handsome face more clearly, and I could have sworn I felt my heart skip a beat.

    ¡°Falyn,¡± he breathed, ¡°You¡­ you look incredible.¡± I felt my face grow hot at his compliment and I wondered if he¡¯d bothered to look in the mirror before saying that. The Palace servants had dressed him in shades of blue, navy against sky, and if anyone looked incredible, it was him. I missed my voice at that moment. I wanted to tell him how beautiful he was, but I could only stare at him and marvel.

    ¡°Excuse me General Andrian,¡± the First Prince interrupted with a frown, ¡°but I think that¡¯s enough of that sort of thing. We¡¯re trying to sell the nobles on this marriage treaty and that kind of behaviour is not going to help our cause. You¡¯re going to give people the wrong impression.¡±

    Rastari let out another one of his booming laughs and said, ¡°My dear Prince, I believe it is you who has the wrong impression. We discussed it after you left, and I will be withdrawing from my role in the marriage treaty.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re joking right?¡± the First Prince asked him without a hint of humor in his voice.

    ¡°Not at all,¡± Rastari replied lightly, ¡°Afterall, if you humans can change the marriage partner at the last minute, why can¡¯t we?¡± He spoke in a teasing tone, but the First Prince definitely wasn''t in the mood for such things.

    ¡°Prince Elantro,¡± Shidah jumped in, ¡°Please don¡¯t look so concerned. We speak only of changing the partner, not a withdrawal from the peace treaty. It was decided that it would be better for all parties involved if Andrian were to take Rastari¡¯s place. Since your side was able to make a change to the terms of the marriage, there is no reason why we can¡¯t as well. Besides, wouldn¡¯t it be far more convincing for your people if we present a ¡®love at first sight¡¯ scenario, rather than a political marriage? The results are the same, but perhaps the perception would be different.¡± Shidah gave the First Prince a meaningful look as he said that.

    Love at first sight?! Those words felt like an electric shock to my system. The idea didn¡¯t bother me at all, but I was worried Andrian wouldn¡¯t like it. Would he be okay with pretending to be in love with me on top of everything else? He¡¯s already doing so much for me.

    I felt a hand grab mine and give it a gentle squeeze. I looked at Andrian and he gave me a reassuring smile before asking, ¡°Are you okay with that Falyn? We discussed it while we were getting dressed and concluded that it would be easier to call it love at first sight than to risk bringing up our past, especially since your secret trips to the Beastlands were technically a violation of Vraynian law.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re speaking as if I¡¯m just going to allow that to happen,¡± Prince Elantro cut in with a displeased look.

    ¡°Well, my dear friend, I don¡¯t think you get a choice,¡± Rastari answered with a hint of warning in his otherwise friendly voice. ¡°Let me be clear. We approached you with an offer of peace that will save your little nation from an endless cycle of sending your soldiers to slaughter. From what I can see, your people framed us for crimes we didn¡¯t commit so you could invade our nation even though you could never hope to defeat us. Despite all of that, we have offered you peace, an end to a war you started, requesting only a marriage treaty as a show of good faith in place of reparations. All we''re asking for was some assurance we won¡¯t be unjustly attacked again. We have treated you with consideration and respect, while you allow your so-called nobles to insult us, belittle us, and continue their talks about wiping us out. Did you ever even consider punishing the Duke of Ramport for his little stunt? No, of course you didn¡¯t, because you¡¯re too afraid of him and your hateful little brother. You¡¯re so concerned about protecting your precious throne that you allow the nobles to run rampant and do whatever they please, regardless of who it hurts.¡±

    I was shocked at the sudden anger that creeped into Rastari¡¯s voice as he spoke. He had seemed so good natured and quick to laugh that I hadn¡¯t realized how much rage he felt below the surface. I realized now that the laughter was his way of holding back from losing his temper from the obvious injustices being done to him. The First Prince turned pale as Rastari spoke and was struggling to come up with a response when Rastari continued his barrage.

    ¡°We have done everything in our power to ensure this treaty goes through and now you speak of what you will allow us to do? Andrian will take my place in this marriage or this marriage will not happen. You can tell whatever stories you like to get your people to accept it, but I will not accept that you humans can do as you please but we must beg for your permission. Besides, you were so concerned with making sure you weren¡¯t forcing the boy, but have you asked him what he wants? I can assure you that we offered him a choice in this.¡±

    The First Prince glanced in my direction, his eyes resting on my hand, which was still being held by Andrian. The frustration in his face was clear.

    ¡°Julien,¡± he said to me, ¡°I understand you are happy to meet an old friend, but do you really want to be married to him? General Rastari wouldn¡¯t expect a real marital relationship from you, but this would be a completely different scenario. Do you understand the position you¡¯re putting yourself in? More importantly, do you understand the position you¡¯re putting me in?¡±

    The position I was putting him in? I had spent years being abused by my father before he threw me away and the Second Prince made it clear he would enjoy seeing me suffer before I died if I didn¡¯t behave. The First Prince may have stepped in and offered me a choice, but he was still asking me to accept a loveless marriage in a foreign nation to a man that wasn¡¯t even human. I felt a flash of anger at his selfishness. I had gone along with everything he asked of me. Why was this too much to ask? The humans changed the marriage partner, why couldn¡¯t the beastmen?

    ¡°Hmmmm¡­ Prince Elantro, does it perchance bother you that you¡¯d have to tell your people that a human actually desired to marry into the Beastlands?¡± Coraggio asked in chastising a tone. ¡°You were fine with the marriage, fine with a political marriage, and fine with allowing a man to be forced by his own father to take his sister¡¯s place, yet you complain now that we have found a way for both parties in the marriage to actually be happy in it? It sounds to me like you agreed to peace because you¡¯re afraid of us but you still think of us as below you.¡±

    ¡°Yes, it certainly does sound like that,¡± Rastari agreed, ¡°Well why don¡¯t we make it simple. You can tell your people it¡¯s a love match or you can tell your people we are still at war. Seems fairly simple doesn¡¯t it? I don¡¯t see how you¡¯re in any worse position than you were before. You¡¯re already announcing that the Duke of Ramport didn¡¯t see fit to send his daughter, despite your Royal decree, so how much could it hurt for you to also tell them that our side found a better suited match in light of that change. Is your position so precarious? I thought you were the King chosen by the Gods.¡±

    Ganged up on by the generals, the First Prince threw up his hands. ¡°You should be well aware that it isn¡¯t that simple. They¡¯re looking for an excuse!¡± he shouted. After a pained expression passed across his face, he took a deep breath and continued, ¡°I¡¯m trying to end a war that should have never started in the first place and no one is making it easy for me! My brother pretends to support me then rallies support with claims of protecting the ¡®kind but foolish¡¯ Crown Prince, consolidating his power but saying it¡¯s for my own good. The Duke of Lindenfort publicly accused me of trying to sell Emma de Ramport to be raped by animals, and then the Duke of Ramport used his other child as a sacrificial pawn to sabotage my efforts and disgrace me in front of the nobles. My father the King won¡¯t take any sort of stand at all and now you¡¯re threatening to break off negotiations if I don¡¯t agree to your new terms. And I have never once treated you like you were below me, not once. I just don¡¯t want to add any more complications and what you¡¯re suggesting is exactly that.¡±

    Andrian stood up after the First Prince had finished speaking, keeping a tight grip on my hand as he did. The First Prince no longer looked like a powerful and majestic figure to me. He was just a sad, frustrated man who wished someone would be on his side. Seeing him like that tugged at my heart a little because I knew what it felt like to feel alone. Andrian let out a small sigh before he began to speak.

    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    ¡°Ah, Prince Elantro, we all get what you¡¯re saying, but this is an opportunity, not a hindrance,¡± he said. The First Prince went to answer him, but Andrian held out his hand to stop him. ¡°Give me a chance to explain.¡±

    The First Prince considered him for a moment before gesturing for Andrian to continue.

    ¡°One, you think that the nobles will accuse us of the very same tricks that they, themselves, have been pulling. Two, you¡¯re concerned that our childhood connection will be discovered and potentially reveal something you don''t want revealed just yet, correct?¡± he asked with a face that indicated he already knew he was right. Taking the First Prince¡¯s look of displeasure as confirmation, Andrian continued, ¡°We talked about it while we got ready and we all agreed that we need to avoid bringing up Falyn and my past because it would create far too many questions. But what if that weren''t the case? What if Julien de Ramport, raised in quiet isolation due to illness, not neglect, heard that his precious older sister was being ordered into an engagement when she already had someone else in her heart and decided to take action? With both his family and nation in his heart, Julien volunteered to take his sister¡¯s place in the marriage. That much has already been established anyways as what you will tell the nobles. But then, during his first meeting with us, we fell in love at first sight and I begged Rastari to let me take his place. My dear friend agreed because he couldn¡¯t get in the way of me finding my mate and you, the gracious Prince, were delighted that your subject could enter into a love match that will still serve your purposes.¡±

    ¡°Haaah, fine,¡± the First Prince conceded, ¡°I can see your point, but have you considered that Julien might not want to play lovers with you?¡±

    The First Prince looked at me expectantly, like he thought I would protest alongside him. But I had no hesitation in the matter at all. As long as Andrian¡¯s mate wouldn¡¯t mind, it was fine with me. I gripped his hand tightly. Seeing him smiling reassuringly at me, I realized I would likely enjoy pretending to be lovers with him. His kind eyes, handsome face, and those strong arms that held me close whenever they could. I wanted it all for myself. It was a feeling I¡¯d never felt before. But how could I, someone so pathetic and disappointing, ever be so greedy as to try to be an important person to someone like Andrian? I¡¯d only been reunited with him for part of a day, yet these odd feelings were already so strong. I wondered what it would be like if he kissed me. If it were any other man, I was certain I¡¯d hate it. But with him, I thought it might be nice.

    My cheeks turned red as I felt instantly ashamed for having such thoughts, but I still managed to give the First Prince a small smile and nod. I don¡¯t know what he saw as he looked at my suddenly blushing face, but his own face went through a very quick progression from dubious to puzzled before finally settling on amused acceptance.

    ¡°Okay, okay. I withdraw all objections,¡± he said with a laugh, ¡°I¡¯ll make it work. I can see now that no one will doubt that story.¡± He shook his head and continued to chuckle as he watched us.

    What the hell does he find so amusing? Well, at least he seems to be feeling better about this.

    The First Prince soon informed us it was time to depart for the banquet hall, and Lord Erris in a formal looking black and gold robe stepped forward to escort us. He said we should all enter together and that he would take care of things from there. He started every formal banquet with a Royal address and this one would be no different. I started getting more and more nervous the closer we got. I had never attended such a large formal banquet. The birthday banquet that my father insisted upon was attended by just the southern Lords, and only the ones who were completely loyal to the Duke of Ramport. Come to think of it, I was pretty sure I¡¯d never been in a room with so many people before, let alone a group of insidious nobles who were chomping at the bit waiting for one of us to make a mistake.

    I knew I needed to stay strong though. The four beast generals would be under far worse scrutiny than I, so I couldn¡¯t let myself be a hindrance to them. Seeming to know what I was thinking, Andrian squeezed the hand he still hadn¡¯t let go of. When I turned in his direction, he was already looking at me and smiled kindly at me. My heart felt lighter but somehow started beating faster. How long has it been since I felt like I had someone on my side? I hope he stays by my side for a long time¡­

    The other nobles must have already been inside the banquet hall because there was no one other than the Palace knights and servants milling about in the hallways. We stopped in front of an enormous set of rounded doors and the First Prince turned back to us.

    ¡°Ready?¡± he asked us. I wasn¡¯t, but I nodded alongside the four beast generals. Seeing that, the First Prince turned to a servant who stood at the doors and commanded, ¡°Announce us.¡±

    ¡°Yes, your Highness,¡± the servant quickly responded before two knights opened the large doors without being given any instruction. When the doors opened, a cacophony of sounds were suddenly audible. Clinking glasses, a small orchestra playing a lively song, and the voices of the nobles laughing and chattering away could be heard. The servant whispered to another servant just inside the door who nodded and stepped up onto a small podium.

    ¡°Lord and Ladies!¡± he called out in a powerful baritone. The room immediately fell silent at the sound of his voice. ¡°His Highness, First Prince and Crown Prince, our future King Elantro de Vray has arrived!¡±

    The room erupted into cheers as the First Prince entered. He waved to the crowd and I could hear voices calling out to him, trying to grab his attention and ingratiate themselves. The voices quickly died off as Rastari stepped into the room behind him. If the First Prince was like sunlight in his suit of gleaming shades of gold, then Rastari was like the darkness of night, dressed in silky black on black. His orange eyes gleamed, bewitching and completely inhuman, highlighted by a swirling orange design on the collar of his shirt.

    All that could be heard in that enormous hall were gasps and hushed whispers as many of the nobles saw a beastman for the first time. Rastari¡¯s nostrils flared for a moment and I recalled what he had said before. I wonder if he¡¯s smelling their fear. Can he smell other emotions too?

    ¡°My dear friends and esteemed guests,¡± the First Prince said to the crowd, ¡°It is my delight to introduce you to General Rastari of the tiger tribe of the Beastlands. As you must certainly be aware, we are gathered here to celebrate his intended marriage to Emma de Ramport, daughter of the southern Duke.¡±

    Whispers erupted through the crowd at his words. They certainly knew the purposes behind the party, but the nobles were still shocked now that they had seen the beast general in person. Amidst the hushed whispers I caught a few words here and there like ¡®monster¡¯ and ¡®selling his own people¡¯. Rastari stood proud and unbothered by those words, even though I was certain he could hear more and far worse things than I could.

    ¡°I must inform you now, however, there has been a change of plans,¡± the First Prince continued, ignoring the harsh whispers. ¡°When my Royal decree reached the Duke of Ramport, I¡¯m certain in his heart of hearts that he desired to obey me. However, his daughter¡¯s heart was promised to another and I, as his caring liege, could not bring myself to force the southern Duke¡¯s daughter to leave the man she loved for sake of my marriage treaty."

    The whispers quieted at that. He¡¯d caught their interest now. Other than the odd rustling of clothing, the room was completely silent awaiting his next words.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t the only one who felt that way. You might not be aware, but the Duke of Ramport also has a son. Due to his health, the Duke¡¯s son has not made his debut in society, preferring to stay in a quiet wing of the Duke¡¯s estate, remaining mostly unknown. But out of love for his precious sister he stepped forward, volunteering to take her place.¡±

    The crowd exploded into chatter when he said that. The Duke of Ramport having a secret son was news to the vast majority of them, and they were shocked that any human would volunteer for such a fate. The First Prince held out a hand and silenced them once more.

    ¡°Julien de Ramport came to the capital for love of his sister, willing to marry our General Rastari here, but that¡¯s not the whole of the story. For when he arrived, he found that love was waiting for him in another form. Lords and Ladies, our esteemed guest General Rastari shall not be Julien de Ramports marriage partner. In fact, due to such unexpected circumstances, we shall proceed with the marriage treaty with two new candidates who shall marry not for politics and peace, but for the joy of their union." He stopped for a moment to let his words sink in. The crowd was held enraptured by his natural charisma, waiting to hear more of his story. "Before I continue any further, let me introduce to you General Shidah of the bear tribe and General Coraggio of the wolf tribe.¡±

    At his words, Coraggio and Shidah entered the room. Not just a few of the women present screamed at the sight of Shidah¡¯s towering form. No amount of fancy clothes and grooming could camouflage his enormous and furry figure. Perhaps used to such reactions from humans, Shidah merely bowed his head in greeting and stood behind Rastari. Coraggio stood next to him and looked amused by the reactions.

    ¡°And finally, two people who I am very happy to introduce to you. In our first meeting, they fell in love at first sight, and begged us to change the terms of the treaty so they could be together. Rastari, a devoted friend, couldn¡¯t bring himself to stand in the way of a marriage that could be based on more than just uniting our nations, and he graciously stepped aside to allow this union based on mutual desire and instantaneous love to proceed. As Crown Prince of our nation, I was compelled to agree, feeling moved by their unhesitating devotion. So now, let me present to you our new guests of honor this evening, Julien de Ramport, son of Victor de Ramport, Duke of the south, and his future marriage partner, General Andrian of the lion tribe.¡±

    At the First Prince¡¯s words, Andrian held out his arm to me. I linked my arm with his and together we stepped forward into the banquet hall.

 Chapter Ten

    I thought I had grown used to the opulence and shine of the Golden Palace, but as I entered the banquet hall on Andrian¡¯s arm, I realized I was mistaken. The banquet hall trumped everything I had seen up until now. Hanging from the ceiling were hundreds of jeweled crystal chandeliers with the jewels placed in carefully chosen locations so that they drew a pink and red rose with leafy green accents across the giant white ceiling. The walls were white marble with almost no adornments other than the gilded window frames that surrounded the large crimson curtained windows that looked out at the garden. To the right were dozens of round tables, all with lush purple tablecloths and sparkling silver centerpieces. Each centerpiece was completed by a large and sparkling crystal rose, colored to match the ceiling. To the left, was a large dance floor with a stage for the small orchestra that provided the music. Past the dance floor was additional seating and a glass doorway to the outside patio and garden access. At the back of the room was table upon table laden with food of every variety, set up so people could serve themselves and bring the food back to their tables. On the back wall, hung above the buffet, there were five enormous coat of arms, one for each of the four Ducal houses with the golden Royal Family sitting proudly in the center.

    All throughout the room, on the hardwood dance floor and orchestra stage, standing near the buffet with half full plates, and seated in the chairs around the tables, were the nobles of Vrayna. They were scattered haphazardly around the room, having stopped mid action when the First Prince made his entrance. There had to be over a thousand people in that enormous hall and all eyes were fixed on where I stood. Coming up from the area between tables and dancefloor was a wooden staircase covered in a crimson rug. That staircase led to the platform we currently stood upon, a grand entryway designed to allow the whole room to see each person as they were announced. Being a part of the First Prince¡¯s party, we were naturally the last to arrive, so the eyes of all the party''s guests were aimed at our group.

    I had hoped that as the least eye catching of the group that I would be looked at last, or overlooked entirely. But staring out into the sea of faces, my desire to go less noticed was unheeded, as I recognized quite a few of the southern lords watching me very closely, their contempt for me evident on their faces. The Second Prince stood out in the crowd as well, an apoplectic look in his eye belying his calm facade. He didn''t know how I''d outwitted him but he was furious that I had. Little did he know, I hadn''t outwitted anyone. His brother, the First Prince, had done that all on his own. I was just a lucky beneficiary of that ''foolish kindness'' the Second Prince so looked down upon.

    "Lords and Ladies, tonight I invite you to celebrate alongside us as we usher in an era of peace with our neighbors and rejoice in the joining of two people who will be the pinnacle of that peace while finding happiness in each other''s arms!" The First Prince finished his announcement, and perhaps this was the first time such a thing ever happened, the crowd didn¡¯t immediately cheer at his words, still processing the contents of his speech. Slowly, amidst the whispers and murmurs that ensued, the sound of hands clapping could be heard, likely started by the nobles from the east. As the nobles realized they''d forgotten themselves, the clapping soon picked up into the thunderous applause that would be expected of subjects greeting their future King. The First Prince turned to us and said, "Come, my friends. Let''s give them a good show."

    Tightly gripping Andrian¡¯s arm, I descended down the stairs and into the crowd. Following the First Prince who led the way, the other three generals stepped into formation around myself and Andrian, Shidah walking behind us with the other two on each side. I felt sheltered from the nobles and proceeded behind the First Prince without fear of being accosted. We followed through the maze of tables until we came to a larger one situated in the center of all the other tables, where the Second Prince was about to settle down with a heaping plate of food.

    As he saw us approaching he put a fake smile on his face and greeted us, ¡°Brother! Marquis Julien, and of course, our esteemed guests from the Beastlands.¡±

    ¡°Greetings brother of mine,¡± the First Prince said warmly, embracing his brother.

    ¡°Second Prince Eduard,¡± Rastai acknowledged with a nod of his head.

    The other three gave him brief nods as well, while I retrieved my arm long enough to offer him a proper bow of respect. As soon as my figure returned to its upright stance, my arm was quickly reclaimed by the man next to me.

    Andrian quickly led me to a seat that wouldn''t place me next to or across from the Second Prince and pulled out the chair for me. I sat down and allowed him to push it in. He promptly took the chair next to me, putting himself across from the Second Prince. Once everyone was seated around the table, I found myself with Andrian on one side of me  and Rastari on the other. Coraggio took the seat next to Andrian and Shidah placed himself between the First and Second Princes. Once we were settled, the Second Prince turned in my direction.

    "Julien," he said, "I must say I was quite concerned for your wellbeing when I discovered you had disappeared from the guest room I prepared for you. I see now that my concerns were unfounded." He gave me a bland smile that didn''t reach his eyes as he spoke.

    "Yes brother," the First Prince answered for me, "I was quite shocked last night when you informed me of what had transpired at the Duke¡¯s residence. I had no idea that Emma de Ramport had a secret fianc¨¦e, nor was I aware that the southern Duke had a son. I hope you understand that I simply had to meet him."

    "Of course, of course," the Second Prince responded, "Brother, you are our future King and I obey your will. I certainly didn''t mean to complain about your decision. I merely wished to express my concern for our guests'' safety while in the Palace. You know how some of these nobles can be, afterall. But enough worrying, this is a joyous occasion and we should be celebrating, not fussing."

    With that said, the Second Prince picked up his utensils and started into the plate of food in front of him. Taking that as a sign, Rastari stood up, informing us he was going to get some food. Coraggio and Shidah were quick to follow, leaving me at the table with Andrian and the two Princes. The four of us sat in silence for a moment as we watched the crowds disperse from the buffet as the three beast generals approached. Ignoring the reaction of the human nobles, they grabbed plates and began loading them with various foods, while loudly talking to each other about what looked good. After we¡¯d watched the spectacle for a bit, the Second Prince turned his attention to me again.

    ¡°Julien, my boy,¡± he said between bites, ¡°I must say that I¡¯m surprised. Entering into a love match, are you? I certainly didn¡¯t expect such delightful news.¡± Nothing about his expression indicated that he actually considered it delightful at all. With a smile that did nothing to veil his disgust, he continued, ¡°It makes me wonder what other tricks you have up that little sleeve of yours if you can tame a wild animal so thoroughly in a single afternoon.¡±

    I heard a growling noise rumbling beside me. When I looked at Andrian, his face was contorted into a snarl and his gentle aura had turned menacing. ¡°I am not some animal to be tamed,¡± he growled, ¡°You should know that by now human Prince.¡±

    Before things could escalate further, I placed a careful hand on his forearm. As soon as my skin connected with his, he lost his menacing aura and turned to me with gentle eyes. I begged him with my eyes to calm down. I didn¡¯t want him to get in trouble in front of all these people.

    ¡°Brother,¡± the First Prince cut in, ¡°I believe I¡¯ve warned you about such comments. If the Beastlands are to be our allies in the future then we must treat with them as equals and with proper respect.¡± His exasperated tone gave me the impression that this wasn¡¯t the first time he¡¯d had to tell his brother such things.

    I think I understand the Beastlands desire for the marriage treaty a little better now. So many humans think of them as just slightly evolved animals. But we don¡¯t marry animals, we marry people. So if a human were to marry a beastman, then we can¡¯t think of them as animals anymore. As I thought about it, I felt a little sad for my race. They put so much energy into hating the beastmen, but why? Even before the war, little children were often told that if they didn¡¯t behave, the beastmen would come to get them. Their existence was seen as a threat to humanity, only considered to be a small step above the monsters that live in the wilds. According to our history books, they used to attack us in droves and only stopped because humanity had become too mighty for them to defeat. That was when the borderland was created and our societies cut off contact for centuries. It was only with the start of the current war that we made contact again, this time as the invaders, conquering for justice. Or something like that. At this point I was pretty sure it was all bullshit.

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    ¡°My apologies dear brother and esteemed guest,¡± the Second Prince conceded, albeit ungraciously, ¡°I see that I have spoken carelessly and caused unintended offence. I meant to compliment the lad, not insult his partner.¡±

    ¡°I accept your apology,¡± Andrian responded flatly. Neither of them sounded convincing but it didn¡¯t seem to matter to any of the parties involved. The First Prince and his brother moved on to another topic of conversation and the other beast generals returned, each carrying no less than three heaping plates of food and looking very pleased with themselves.

    ¡°We brought extra, too!¡± Coraggio announced with unbridled enthusiasm. He made no effort to hide his wagging tail either. He¡¯s acting just like a puppy, I thought. He seems so harmless and friendly. How is someone like that a war general? Or is that exactly why they brought him here? Not that I was complaining. Their return was a much needed relief from the tension at the table moments before.

    They produced a couple of empty plates and started offering us different types of food, apparently in a good natured competition for who could find the best food. As they heaped food on my plate and laughed at nothing, I realized just how unnatural their energy felt. While their goodwill towards myself and Andrian didn¡¯t feel feigned, it still felt like they were working too hard to look like they were having fun. They were putting on a show for the nobles, but up close, I could see the effort behind their actions. But since they were trying so hard, I felt like I should play along with it.

    As we ate and they chatted away, I realized that the Second Prince was no longer eating or talking with the First Prince. Rather, he was watching me as I smiled and ate alongside the beastmen. I could feel the distaste in his gaze as he watched me. I was surprised to realize that I wasn¡¯t afraid of him anymore. I didn¡¯t fully understand this odd trust, built within a single day of our reunion, but I still trusted that Andrian would protect me from the Second Prince.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it time for the couple of honor to have their first dance?¡± the Second Prince asked loudly, cutting into their lively conversation. ¡°Or is it not too bold of me to assume that you are uneducated in the ways of noble society?¡±

    ¡°Ah, Prince Eduard, you are tactful as always,¡± Rastari said with a flash of fang, ¡°I can assure you we took the time to study your little dances in preparation for the banquet. But I doubt anyone would have taught the Duke¡¯s son how to dance the ladies¡¯ part.¡±

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s not all that different,¡± the Second Prince insisted, ¡°I¡¯m certain he can figure it out. Besides, the people will want a closer look at the lovely couple. Have to make sure they see how happy they are, don''t we? Isn¡¯t that why we¡¯re all here after all? Didn¡¯t you all want to put on a nice play about how human-like the beasts can be? Or are you worried that Julian won¡¯t be able to fake it that well?¡±

    At that final question, the table fell quiet. Beyond us, people talked and danced and made merry, but you could cut the tension at our table with a knife. If ever there was one, I felt like this was my moment to finally be brave. It was the same dance either way and I was pretty sure I could figure it out. Besides, I didn¡¯t want to let the Second Prince win after what he¡¯d just implied. Giving the Second Prince a brief glance, I stood up and offered my hand to Andrian, who was silently simmering in his seat.

    When Andrian saw me stand and hold my hand out to him, his angry expression melted away and a warm, contented one emerged. He took my hand without hesitation, but he remained seated. With a hint of concern, he quietly told me, ¡°You don¡¯t have to do this. We don¡¯t need to prove anything to anyone, especially not him. I know he¡¯s just saying those things to get a rise out of us.¡±

    I appreciated the sentiment, but I still felt like I needed to prove something. Not just to the Second Prince, but to all the nobles in the room. Be it the ones who pitied me or the ones who reviled the beastmen and lusted for war, I intended to show them they were wrong. Not knowing how else to express what I wanted, I used my free hand to grab onto Andrian¡¯s arm and gently pulled him towards me. All it took was a soft tug and he was on his feet.

    ¡°As you wish,¡± he said agreeably I pulled him away from the table. Maybe I was being stubborn, but this was something I could do. I didn¡¯t want to feel like a burden. I didn¡¯t want Andrian to think I was a disappointment.

    Between us and the dancefloor were at least a dozen tables and various nobles milling about, trying to get a better look at the beastmen seated at our table. As we walked hand in hand, the crowds slowly made way for us. There were so many sets of eyes on us that I began to question my decision. Rows upon rows of staring nobles, burning holes in me with their eyes. I suddenly wished I had eaten less. I wanted to be brave, but anxiety radiated through me in waves and I suddenly felt nauseated. I felt like all of them were silently calling me out for being so disappointing, disgusting, pathetic. I was dizzied by the hatred they felt. I was suddenly scared they might hurt me.

    I felt an arm wrap around my waist and I was suddenly being led forward through the sea of faces. As I came back to myself I realized that most of them weren¡¯t glaring at me after all. There weren¡¯t a lot of friendly faces, but I knew I¡¯d let my fear get the best of me. Andrian¡¯s arm around my waist and his warmth at my back steadied me and I breathed deeply to calm myself. I wasn¡¯t sure what it was, but I could smell some sort of calming scent, almost like the smell of the forest. I wondered if it was Andrian¡¯s scent. It was nice and peaceful. It reminded me of the fog. I felt safe again.

    The sea of faces passed by in a blur and we were soon standing upon the dancefloor being given a wide berth by the other couples on the floor. We turned to face each other and both attempted to move into position. Initially, we both tried to take the man¡¯s position before both trying to take the lady¡¯s.

    Andrian chuckled softly at our awkward exchange before moving close enough to whisper in my ear, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll take the ladies¡¯ part. I only recently learned this dance thing anyways, so I can adapt. But please,¡± he paused for a second as he got into position, ¡°no twirling. I don¡¯t think my ego could take it.¡±

    Realizing he was joking with me, the corners of my mouth curled up and I felt myself relax. The ear he¡¯d whispered in felt hot. My skin was still tingling from his breath.

    We began dancing to the music, a simple waltz, and neither of us were particularly good at it. Despite the potentially hostile crowd, I was almost having fun. With nowhere else for me to look at regardless, I was able to study his face up close without feeling shy about it. I couldn¡¯t help but admire that face. I was amazed by how handsome he was.

    The sound of the crowd seemed to fade off into the distance and all of my awareness was focused on the sound of the music, the heat of his body that was so close to mine, and the look in his eyes as he stared back at me. My heart began beating faster and faster the longer we continued to dance.

    Eventually the song came to an end and the crowd around us stopped and applauded. We just stood there looking at each other, not letting go. His hand slipped down from my shoulders to my waist and he pulled me in close. With our lower bodies pressed tightly together, my heart was pounding in my chest. It felt like a precursor to a much more intimate type of dance. My breathing became shallow and I looked into his eyes. The desire I saw in them shocked me. Does he¡­ ?

    Before I could finish thinking, he closed the gap and pressed his lips against mine. It was soft and quick, but it was undoubtedly a kiss. He pulled away for a moment and I stared up at him in amazement. With my mouth slightly agape, I traced the place when our lips had met with my tongue. He seemed to take that as an invitation and rushed to seal my mouth with his again. His tongue invaded my mouth, entwining itself with my own that seemed to react of its own accord. I felt everything else disappear, and for just a single moment, nothing else existed for me but his mouth, his breath, and his body against mine. His tongue explored every inch of my mouth, caressing me, tasting me. I soon forgot to even breathe as I melted into his embrace.

    It wasn¡¯t long before he pulled away, perhaps more mindful of our current location than I was. As I gasped for air after receiving my very first kiss, our surroundings came back into focus for me and I realized exactly what we¡¯d been doing in front of all of these people. I felt my face heat up and without thinking I buried my face in Andrian¡¯s chest, ashamed of my behaviour. I was embarrassed but I couldn¡¯t deny how good his kiss had felt. I wanted more. I leaned my cheek against his chest and realized his heart sounded like it was pounding as much as mine was.

 Chapter Eleven

    The silence permeated around us for a moment before I heard the sound of a single set of hands clapping. I looked up from Andrian¡¯s chest and saw an elderly woman with lively eyes watching us. Before she could speak, the orchestra began another song and she gestured towards the seating area beyond the dance floor. I glanced at Andrian, who seemed to have no objections, before nodding and following her to a set of chairs in the corner near the door to the balcony. The music was quieter there and I sat down across from her, next to Andrian.

    By her presence here, she had to be a noble, and judging by her immaculate dress, she was likely a prominent one too. She was dressed in the popular Vraynian style and wore it better than some of the younger women I¡¯d seen standing about. On her head she wore a black wide brimmed hat with a feather that looked like it was made of crystal, but moved in the breeze as if it were real.

    ¡°Allow me to introduce myself,¡± she said without any preamble, ¡°I am Carlotta de Shelfort, former Duchess of Shelfort, forced to retire because of some silliness regarding a deceased husband. I¡¯m certain you recognize my name, General Andrian?¡±

    ¡°Ay, I do,¡± he responded, ¡°It¡¯s a genuine pleasure Lady Carlotta.¡± Andrian¡¯s enthusiastic response caught my attention. He seemed genuinely pleased with this encounter. ¡°Allow me to introduce my partner and fiancee, Julien de Ramport.¡±

    ¡°Julien, ah yes, may I call you Julien?¡± she asked with a raised eyebrow. I gave her a single nod and a small smile. ¡°Julien, my dear, I must tell you that it warmed my old heart to see the two of you out there. One day soon, I hope we might have a chance to talk freely together, but I¡¯m afraid tonight shall not be that time. Far too many nosy, good for nothings hanging about the banquets these days.¡± She sniffed disapprovingly as she looked around the room. I found myself instantly liking her. ¡°Anyway, I wanted to extend an invitation to the two of you to visit the Shelfort manor when you pass through the duchy.¡±

    My eyebrows shot up. I hadn¡¯t expected such an invitation from someone like her. I looked to Andrian and he gave me an encouraging nod, so I bowed slightly as a gesture of respect before nodding my head to agree.

    ¡°Excellent,¡± she said, ¡°I can¡¯t stand being here for even a movement longer than I have to, so I will be back at the manor within a couple of days. I imagine you boys will have your departure delayed a day or so, not to mention you¡¯ll be traveling with an army, so I will expect your arrival in one week¡¯s time. Oh, and feel free to bring along those other generals and your soldiers too. I have more than enough room in my barracks, though my soldiers might drive your boys insane wanting to try their strength against them.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll keep that in mind, Lady Carlotta,¡± Andrian answered her with a grin. ¡°And I¡¯m certain some of the soldiers would be happy to comply. They¡¯re going to be a little stir crazy from having to sit and wait outside the city.¡±

    ¡°Oh, General Andrian, if I may ask, did you happen to find what you were looking for?¡± she asked meaningfully as she glanced between us. ¡°If I remember correctly, you were a last minute addition. One that came with his own purposes, I believe?¡± Her eyes sparkled as she asked him that in a knowing tone.

    ¡°Haha I have no idea what you¡¯re talking about, my Lady,¡± Andrian answered teasingly, ¡°My only purpose was peace. But, if I have to say, I¡¯d tell you that I found what I was looking for.¡± He placed his hand on my knee and gave it a gentle squeeze.

    I startled a bit when he said that. I thought people weren¡¯t supposed to know about our history¡­ Is it okay for him to say that? I guess since she already seemed to know something about it, it''s probably fine.

    She looked amused by my concerned expression and only said, ¡°I¡¯ll explain more when you come to visit, dear. Now I¡¯m afraid I must be off. All these sycophants and war mongers aren¡¯t good for my health.¡± With that, she patted my hand and stood up, continuing off into the crowd. As I watched her retreat, I was filled with an unusual warmth from her motherly gesture.

    ¡°Come, let¡¯s go back to the table,¡± Andrian said and held his arm out to me. ¡°I think we gave them more of a show than we intended. I think that should be enough for one night, don¡¯t you?¡±

    In complete agreement, I took his arm and let him lead me back to our table.

    The rest of the night passed mostly uneventfully. Our table, with two members of the Royal family and a contingent of beastmen, was the center of attention that night. Many were too afraid to approach, but a small collection were quite brazen and directly sat down at the table like they¡¯d been invited.

    The firsts to approach us was an older couple, the Duke and Duchess of Lindenfort and my maternal grandparents through marriage. This was the Duke who had accused the First Prince of trying to sell my sister. Outside of the southern Lords and the Second Prince, they were likely the only members of the nobility who knew of my existence before the banquet. When I saw them approach and sit down, I inwardly groaned at the sight.

    As expected, they showed utter disdain for the beastmen and made minimal efforts at civility toward them. However, they got along well with the Second Prince and they graciously thanked the First Prince for sparing their precious granddaughter from such an undesirable fate. When they turned to me and contemptuously thanked me for ¡®sacrificing myself so enthusiastically,¡¯ I couldn¡¯t hold back a sneer. I was relieved when they left and impressed that the beastmen all managed to restrain themselves from saying something we¡¯d all regret.

    The second to approach us was a hard looking man of middle years. He had an enormous bushy mustache and a gruff temperament to him. He introduced himself to us as Heinrich de Misenport, Marquis of the northern duchy. Other than offering me a brief greeting, he didn¡¯t acknowledge my presence, but I didn¡¯t mind because he was there to talk business that I would have no part in.

    The current Duke and Duchess of Misenport were on the fence regarding peace, but their son, Marquis Heinrich, was very interested in the possibilities. He had come to talk with the beastmen on matters of trade and security, a conversation that lasted for over a movement and was almost entirely over my head. From what I understood, he was interested in trading with the northern bear tribes for furs, arms, and food stuffs, and cooperation in dealing with the monsters from the wildland. It seemed a small section of the wildland bordered the north of Vrayna, past where the borderland stopped at the base of a mountain range that was nearly impossible to pass. Trolls ruled the entire mountain range that spanned across both Vrayna and the Beastlands, and troll raiding parties were a common occurrence for the northeastern region.

    Shidah was receptive to the future Duke, having heard the same stories from the villages in the northwest of the Beastlands. From what he said, reinforcements from neighboring villages were often sent there before the needs of the war demanded they stay in the south. Everything north of the mountain range was wildland, and other than trolls, there was also the occasional frost zombie or ice wolf that would make its way down from the far northern regions. It seemed to be a common problem for both human and beastman alike. Marquis Heinrich had spent most of the last five years on the north eastern front, fighting monsters not beastmen, and only saw this as an opportunity to receive much needed support on what he considered to be the ¡®real¡¯ front line. Shidah promised he would speak with the tribe generals of the north and pass on the offer of alliance.

    I did my best to pay attention to what they were saying, but when they started talking about strategies, trade routes, and politics, I couldn¡¯t follow the conversation anymore. There was too much I didn¡¯t understand, but I could see this was a good sign for the two nations. War or complete separation were the only ways we¡¯d interacted with each other before now, and it was good to see there were some willing to take a different approach. But I couldn¡¯t forget that the current Duke had chosen to remain neutral thus far, and that the northwest was still mainly in opposition to the treaty. The Marquis wouldn¡¯t become Duke for many years. For now, his role was more akin to that of the beast generals, and he was an anomaly for the north, not an example.

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    After the Marquis departed, the only other visitors we had were various silver haired beauties, looking to coax the Princes out to dance with them. They were shameless in their approach, some outright offering themselves to one or both of the Princes. I understood that their silver hair indicated they were of Royal blood to some degree, a requirement for marrying either of the Princes, according to the Royal family¡¯s laws. The Royals were known for being very free in their extramarital relationships, creating many second and third cousins with only a hint of the direct Royal blood left in them, but it mattered naught as long as the hair was silver. Only silver hair with silver hair could potentially produce the golden eyed child. The First Prince looked miserable as he sent back woman after woman, each one becoming increasingly drunker and bolder as the night progressed. I guessed I could understand what he must be feeling, given that Amelie¡¯s hair was a rich and lustrous black.

    Over the course of the night I sampled a few different wines, and after the banquet had continued on for many movements, my head was swimming and I started feeling groggy. As my consciousness began drifting away from me, I was aware of two things. The first was, where I¡¯d seen the southern lords in the crowd, not one single person had come to represent the southern Duke¡¯s household, despite the other ducal homes sending multiple members of the house. I guess my father never expected this banquet to actually happen¡­ He¡¯ll be so disappointed when he finds out I¡¯m not dead.

    The second thing I noticed, right before I completely dozed off, was that I was scooped up and placed on someone¡¯s lap to sleep. It was warm and comfortable, and it smelled nice. So in the midst of the noisy banquet hall filled with loud and rowdy nobles fueled by alcohol, I fell asleep peacefully in Andrian¡¯s arms.

    I awoke sometime later to the swaying movements of someone carrying me like a Princess while climbing up a flight of stairs. I looked around in a daze and realized I was in a part of the Palace I hadn¡¯t seen yet. As we came out of the long spiral staircase, I looked up at the man carrying me.

    ¡°You¡¯re awake?¡± he inquired softly. I nodded, the haze of sleep leaving my vision. My head felt clear and I wondered how long I¡¯d been asleep.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d like going back to the room that asshole Prince set you up in,¡± he said in an alarmingly flippant tone. I stiffened, shocked by his words, and quickly took a look around. Speaking ill of the Royal family was a crime, especially within the Palace. He laughed gently and continued, ¡°We¡¯re alone here. We¡¯ve almost arrived at my room. I hope you don¡¯t mind that I brought you here¡­¡±

    He looked a little nervous, as if expecting a rejection. Yes, it¡¯s okay, I wished I could say, I feel safest when I¡¯m with you. There¡¯s nowhere else I¡¯d want to be taken. I quickly nodded my head and smiled up at him lazily from my place in his arms. As he looked down at me, his cheeks flushed a shade of crimson and he shifted his gaze forward, focusing intently on the hallway in front of him.

    He stopped at a doorway and hurried to press down the knob with his foot and push the door open. He knocked it closed behind him with his foot, shifted me so he could hold me one armed for a moment as he reached back to lock it. When he released one of his arms, I instinctually clung to his neck out of fear I might fall. With my cheek pressed against his neck, I could feel his hot skin and racing pulse. My heart sped up and I suddenly felt nervous, as if realizing I might have put myself into a dangerous situation.

    Sniffing my scent deeply, he quietly chuckled and whispered in my ear, ¡°It¡¯s a little late to get nervous, don¡¯t you think? Don''t worry. I won''t do anything you don¡¯t like.¡±

    The next thing I knew I was on my back on the bed and he was above me. He held himself with both arms straight, propped up on his knees that rested on the bed on either side of me. It felt like he was pinning me down without actually touching me. I felt my breathing catch and realized I was a little scared. My heart told me I could trust Andrian not to hurt me but my mind and my sensibilities were rebelling. Sensing my shift from nervous to fearful, Andrian didn¡¯t go any farther and just held himself above me patiently, waiting for me to calm down.

    Once my breathing and heart rate were closer to normal, he reached out with one hand and stroked the side of my cheek, before slowly leaning his face towards mine. He stopped his movements right before he reached my lips, leaving our mouths mere inches apart. I could feel the heat of his breath on my skin, enticing me and reminding me of the kiss we¡¯d shared earlier. I suddenly felt flushed all over and my heart was pounding again, but this time it wasn¡¯t out of fear.

    He closed the gap between us, and gently pressed his lips to mine. It was a long slow kiss, full of tenderness. Before it could become more than that, he pulled away from my lips, retreating a few inches, but not completely backing away. I met his gaze and saw the same look I¡¯d seen when we were dancing. That look that said he desired me. It was a little frightening, but I was pretty sure that I liked it. I wanted him to keep looking at me like that.

    It was me who initiated this time, kissing him tentatively. He responded in kind, gently returning my kiss, but it quickly became apparent that he wanted me to take the lead. Summoning my courage, I cautiously entered his mouth, lightly running my tongue across his before becoming more bold and entangling them completely.

    Suddenly the hand that had been gently stroking my face was wrapped around the back of my head as he deepened the kiss. When I tried to pull back, his hand held my head tightly, keeping me from escaping, so he could plunder my mouth as he pleased. He seemed determined to taste every part of me as he used his tongue to trace my palate and my teeth, before entwining his tongue with mine once more. I gave in to the kiss, opening my mouth and allowing him full access to me.

    After a long time and many gasping breaths, he lowered my head back onto the bed. He quickly unbuttoned my jacket and threw it open, taking a moment to admire the dense black shirt wrapped tightly around my torso. He gently ran his fingers across my chest, triggering goosebumps all over my body. I shuddered beneath him as his fingers found my nipple, standing erect and visible under the skin tight fabric. He rubbed his fingertip in a circle on its tip, before pinching it gently, eliciting a sharp, gasping sound from me as he did.

    ¡°Hmmm¡­?¡± he purred in my ear, ¡°Does that feel good? Should I keep going?¡±

    I looked up at him helplessly, too embarrassed to admit that it felt really good. I¡¯d never been touched like this before and everything he did to me felt so good I could cry. I wanted him to keep going, to keep touching me like that. My face must have shown what I was feeling because he did indeed keep going. I lost track of time as he kissed and caressed me. Sometimes he kissed me softly, planting fluttering kisses on my lips, cheeks, and eyelids, then he kissed me so deeply that it left me gasping for air. No longer worried about keeping a distance between our bodies, he kissed down the exposed parts of my neck, sucking and biting randomly, while his breath tickled my skin. Next he licked and nibbled at my ears, at one point sticking his tongue inside, all while his hands rubbed up and down my torso and occasionally pinching and pulling at my nipples. Our lower bodies pressed against each other and whenever he played with my sensitive nubs, I found myself grinding against him, seeking a release for the electric sparks running up and down my spine.

    Everything he was doing felt so good that I completely forgot to think about what might come next. I was melting under him, kissing him passionately, running my hands through his mane, responding to his touches desperately. I wanted him to touch me more, I wanted to let him make me feel good. But as his hand suddenly dropped down and softly caressed my erection though my pants, I panicked.

    ¡°Come on you little shit, get hard for me. You know you want it.¡±

    Pushing Andrian away as hard as I could, I scurried to the far end of the bed. Curling into a ball to protect myself, I was suddenly flooded with memories of that one night I could never forget. No! No! No! I shook my head desperately, trying to expel it from my mind. Albrecht and the years he spent tormenting me forced their way into my thoughts and I started hitting myself in the side of the head, trying to force them out. Stop thinking about it. This isn¡¯t that. I don¡¯t want him to hate me!

    I felt someone restraining my hands and pulling me close. Over and over, someone kept saying, ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± to me as they held me tight and rocked me back and forth. It¡¯s not your fault! I¡¯m the one who¡¯s dirty! I¡¯m the one who¡¯s tainted! Self deprecating thoughts took over my mind and I felt myself shaking in his arms, overwhelmed by the battle going on inside of me.

    ¡°Ssshh, ssshh, it¡¯s okay, Falyn, it¡¯s going to be okay,¡± Andrien coaxed me desperately, ¡°I¡¯m sorry, okay? I won¡¯t do it again. You¡¯re safe, it¡¯s okay¡­¡±

    Slowly, as he held me, rubbed my back, and whispered assurances, the shaking stopped and I began calming down. I felt something wet on my face and realized a single tear had escaped from my eye. I touched my cheek then looked at the wetness on my hand in horror. I didn¡¯t cry. Not once in all these years, had I shed a single tear. So why was I crying now?

 Chapter Twelve

    I looked up at Andrian through tear clouded eyes, and my heart broke a little at the expression I saw on his face. He looked so guilty and I felt terrible for being the cause. I wished there was a way for me to tell him that it wasn¡¯t his fault, that he¡¯d done nothing wrong, and that it was all because of me. I wasn¡¯t strong enough to face my memories yet. I was too pathetic, too weak.

    ¡°Falyn,¡± he crooned softly, ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. I didn¡¯t think¡­ I didn¡¯t consider that I might be too fast for you. I promise I won¡¯t force you. I¡¯d never hurt you.¡± He rocked me gently as he spoke.

    I tried to muster up a smile, or at least something that wasn¡¯t a frown, and reached my hand up to touch his cheek. No¨C I shook my head, It¡¯s not your fault¨C and gestured to him. I¡¯m the problem¨C I touched my chest to indicate myself and willed him to understand what I was trying to convey.

    He looked even sadder and squeezed me tight, ¡°No, don¡¯t you dare blame yourself for anything,¡± he said fiercely, ¡°Whatever happened, it¡¯s not your fault. But¡­ can I take that to mean you don¡¯t dislike me? That you didn¡¯t hate it when I touched you?¡±

    No, I like it when you touch me¡­ But it makes me think about someone that terrifies me. It reminds me of my mother¡¯s pain. It¡¯s scary¡­ I had no way to make him understand what I was feeling. All I could do was shake my head to say no and go back to stroking his cheek. Please keep kissing me. I don¡¯t want to be scared anymore. I let my hand slide down to his collar and tugged it to pull him towards me. I could see the hesitation on his face, but he let me pull him down to me. I kissed each of his cheeks, before placing a soft, slow kiss on his lips and releasing him.

    ¡°Are you¡­ are you still okay with staying here with me tonight? I could go find somewhere else to sleep if it¡¯s more comfortable for you,¡± he offered, the traces of guilt still evident on his face.

    I sharply shook my head no and squeezed his forearm. If he was willing, I still wanted him to hold me while I slept. I feel safer when you¡¯re with me. I have no idea why. But I know that I don¡¯t want to be alone tonight. My head is still spinning from what¡¯s happened in the course of a single day and tomorrow¡­ Tomorrow, the First Prince wants to talk about things I¡¯ve kept buried since I was young. I¡¯m not ready to face those demons yet, but I don¡¯t think I have a choice. Yet, somehow, I feel like I can manage if I have you by my side. So stay with me, shelter me from the oncoming storm, if only for a night.

    He couldn¡¯t possibly know what I was feeling, but I still wished for him to hear my thoughts. Thankfully my clear decline of his offer to leave seemed to be enough. He shifted us around a little so we were laying side by side on the bed while I was still wrapped in his embrace and using his arm as a pillow. Fatigue hit me as soon as we laid down and I allowed myself to let go of the tension I¡¯d been holding. I felt him press his lips to my forehead and inhale deeply. He seemed satisfied with whatever he smelled and I felt his body relax next to mine.

    ¡°Falyn,¡± he whispered as I was starting to drift off, ¡°Thank you for coming back to me. I looked for you for so long. I was afraid I¡¯d never see you again.¡± His voice started sounding distant, but I desperately fought the call of sleep so I could try to keep listening. ¡°You were my first friend. Father and I lived far away from the village and I often felt lonely before you came. You brightened my world back then, more than you could ever know. Haah, I wish I had the courage to say these things to you when you¡¯re awake¡­¡± I felt like he was on the verge of saying something important, but I just couldn¡¯t stay awake anymore. ¡°¡­ I¡­ you¡­ bond... mate¡­¡± were the last things I heard before my consciousness left me.

    I slept a heavy, dreamless sleep. When I awoke the next morning, it took me a moment to figure out where I was. The aesthetic here was so different from the rest of the Palace. The room was simple and unadorned, with large windows to let in the morning sun. The room was already bright and judging by the sun¡¯s position, I guessed it was either the eighth or ninth movement of ascent.

    When I sat up in bed, I was able to get a clearer view of the room and of the man at a table near the window lounging in the sunlight. The beams of light made his dark auburn hair shine a brighter shade of red, with just a hint of orange. I took a moment to admire his lazy appearance as he yawned and turned his shining amber eyes in my direction.

    ¡°Ahhh good morning,¡± he greeted me as he finished yawning, ¡°I was just about to wake you. Prince Elantro sent us a summons to come find him in the meeting room for breakfast. He sent you a change of clothes as well.¡± Andrian indicated to a folded pile on an empty chair. In addition to the pile of clothes, there was also a towel and robe. ¡°There¡¯s a bathing room down the hall. Go left then it¡¯s the third door. When you''re done, leave turning right, pass the hallway you came from, and take the second door. You¡¯ll find a place to dress yourself there. I¡¯ve been up for a bit so I¡¯m already washed. Just come grab me when you''re done.¡±

    Following his instructions, I found another one of those blue and green tiled bathing rooms with a tub of hot water already sitting there waiting for me. I luxuriated in the hot water for as long as I dared before drying myself and putting the robe on. Backtracking past the hall I came from, I found the dressing room exactly where Andrian said it would be and quickly dressed myself in the provided clothes. I could tell that someone with a man¡¯s tastes had picked out this outfit for me. The pants were flexible and not tight, the shirt was loose and flowing with a drawstring collar, and it was topped with a simple yet elegant vest. The shoes were simple leather ankle boots that were both practical and comfortable. I somehow looked like a noble peasant, but I thought it suited me far better than the expensive, overly luxurious suits I had been provided thus far.

    I returned to Andrian¡¯s room and informed him I was ready. I found myself blushing profusely as he complimented my appearance, but I felt like it was a little much. I really wasn¡¯t all that good looking. The best you could say about me was that I cleaned up well. I wasn¡¯t sure how to handle his blatant and over the top flattery. But I didn¡¯t hate it. I just didn¡¯t understand it.

    When we arrived at the meeting room, I saw that we were the last ones to arrive. The First Prince, the other three beast generals, Amelie, and Lord Erris were all already seated and breaking their fast on sweet pastries, fruits, crispy strips of fatty meat, and a dish made from eggs that looked like clouds and tasted like cheese, which was served on pieces of toasted baguette. I hungrily grabbed a plate and loaded it with lots of the fluffy eggs, and a collection of flakey pastries made with nuts and syrup.

    The room¡¯s furniture arrangement was completely different today. For our meal, we all sat around a proper dining table that nearly took up an entire side of the room. The other half of the room now had two armchairs and a large upholstered daybed. The generals exchanged greetings and I focused on my food. I couldn¡¯t get enough of the cloud like eggs, and once I had loaded my plate with a second portion, this time with some of the meat added on, the First Prince finally spoke.

    ¡°I guess I should start with congratulating you all. Whatever other opinions they may have, the nobles who were present last night have no reason or right to contest the validity of your marriage,¡± he said with a knowing smile, ¡°Well played, both of you. Everyone saw exactly what they needed to see and everyone behaved appropriate to their roles. I can¡¯t get over the irony of feeling like I owe the Duke of Ramport a boon. If he¡¯d actually followed my orders, things probably wouldn¡¯t have gone so smoothly last night.¡± The First Prince chuckled a little at that and I couldn¡¯t say that he was wrong. Somehow, my father¡¯s attempts had produced the exact opposite result than he intended. I was alive and could live a good life from here on out, the peace treaty would go forward as planned with no more accusations of selling a noble daughter to animals, and Andrian was able to find me again, against otherwise impossible odds. I felt an odd satisfaction in knowing that fate had outsmarted my all powerful father and shown favor to me, the unwanted disappointment who¡¯d never had fate on his side before.

    ¡°Anyway, while we attended the banquet last night, Amie and Lord Erris were working on something for today,¡± the First Prince continued after he was done laughing. ¡°We¡¯ve decided we need a way to know what¡¯s going on inside that head of yours and they came up with an idea that might just work. But this once again depends on your willingness, Falyn.¡±

    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    I looked at him questioningly, wondering what he was going on about.

    ¡°Lord Erris is a relatively talented mage, and he can do more than just casting a silence spell on a room,¡± the First Prince explained, ¡°He has suggested a form of magical hypnotism where he would simultaneously place a spell over you and Amie to connect your minds. The idea is that, since you can¡¯t speak and you don¡¯t seem ready to face your memories, Amie will go into your subconscious with you and guide you through the memories we want to see. In theory, you won¡¯t remember anything when you wake up so it should be a simple solution to the problem. There are risks of course, but nothing life threatening.¡±

    I considered what he was telling me. Everything about the idea sounded so fantastic that I couldn¡¯t believe it was actually possible. But human magic users were very rare, so I lacked the knowledge to understand how it would work and what the potential risks might be.

    ¡°Prince Elantro,¡± Shidah spoke up from his spot at the table, ¡°I think I¡¯m at least partially familiar with what you¡¯re suggesting. Our shamans use similar methods to help treat war survivors and people that have gone through other trauma. Though I¡¯ve never heard of two people being put under together, so that part both interests and concerns me. Normally there are no risks involved, so I¡¯m curious how the second person will affect the normal process.¡±

    ¡°If I may, your Highness?¡± Lord Erris inquired with a glance at the First Prince.

    ¡°Please, go ahead.¡±

    ¡°Very well. To be honest, I don¡¯t know exactly what the risks will entail,¡± Lord Erris admitted after gaining permission from the First Prince. ¡°This is something I¡¯ve never attempted, and to be honest, I didn¡¯t know it was a common practice for the Beastlands.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Shidah responded, ¡°It¡¯s something our shamans have done for centuries. Not all maladies are of the body and magical hypnosis is a well known and very successful method to treat the subconscious mind.¡±

    ¡°I shall have to pick your brains where we are done here. Human magic has stagnated over the years to the point that my parlour tricks are considered to be top tier magic.¡± Lord Erris shook his head looking disappointed with the whole thing. ¡°For now, what I propose is putting them under together, but leaving Amelie with some of her awareness still active so she can use her own internal magic to go into his mind. She will lead Falyn through his memories and speak for him, sharing what he sees with us, since he cannot speak aloud for himself.¡±

    ¡°But we don¡¯t know if it will work,¡± Amelie interrupted, ¡°I¡¯ve never even considered trying to use my abilities like this before and I don¡¯t know if I can control my powers well enough.¡±

    "I keep telling you, you can''t improve if you don''t take chances. How many times have I accidentally blown something up?" Lord Erris asked her this in a way that made me think he might be proud of the destruction he had wrought. It didn''t inspire me with a lot of confidence, but I didn''t foresee that anything he was proposing for today could be dangerous enough to worry about.

    Amelie looked ready to throw her hands in the air, but she didn''t present any further argument. She simply gestured for him to proceed.

    "I can say with fairly high confidence that we have a good probability for success. Magical hypnotism isn''t common nowadays, but it was a well known treatment hundreds of years ago, before the borderland was put into place. From what the good general indicated, it''s still a popular therapy in the Beastlands where they use magic over medicine. I studied my uncle''s diaries in great detail and I''m certain I can accomplish the basics. The rest is Falyn''s willingness to delve into those memories and Amelie¡¯s control of her powers." He looked at both of us with an arrogant posture, clearly trying to tell us that any failures would be ours, not his.

    "But what about the risks you mentioned?" Andrian asked him, looking dubious about the whole thing. "You say you have high confidence in your probable success¡­ but what happens to Falyn if this goes wrong?"

    "The obvious answer to that is that we get no answers," Lord Erris replied dryly, clearly not appreciating having his skills called into question. "It is also possible we''d trigger another episode like yesterday. Worst case scenario is that his mind can''t handle it and he rejects the hypnosis."

    I felt like there was more to it than what he was saying, but this was a better solution than anything I could come up with.

    "I will oversee the process," Shidah announced, "I''ve sat with my mate through many of the treatments she''s given over the past few years and I''ll be able to tell if something is wrong."

    Oh, his wife is a shaman? It hadn''t come up yesterday when the generals were introducing themselves. The knowledge did inspire me with some additional confidence though. I wasn''t sure about Lord Erris, but Shidah certainly sounded like he knew enough for me to feel certain.

    "The wild card is the girl," Coraggio suddenly cut in, "My grandfather was a shaman as well, so I understand the basics, but I''ve never heard of someone entering the dream to interact with the person being put under. If she can¡¯t get in, then that''s fine, but what happens if she enters and then she isn''t strong enough? You''re essentially talking about using magic to take her consciousness out of her own body and put it into his." Coraggio then looked to the First Prince and asked, "Have you considered what might happen to her if this goes wrong?"

    "I''ve more than just considered it," he responded tersely, "In fact, I was originally against this. But Lord Erris is confident and Amie is quite determined to try. And I think we can agree that, objectively, the benefits outweigh the risk."

    "He''s right on that," Rastari added, "We need to know the truth of what happened to his mother. Personally, I''m convinced that whatever is buried in his mind is going to be something important. You might not like me for saying this, but if it won''t result in their deaths, then the consequences are worth it."

    The First Prince and Andrian both looked wroth, but no one could argue with that assessment, including me. If I understand things correctly, they blamed my mother''s death on the beastmen, but did they do it with the intention of starting a war? My memories won''t answer that, but it can confirm what they need to know.

    "But couldn''t he just do that thing where you record your thoughts on parchment?" Andrian finally asked after a moment of silence.

    "All of the nobility can read, but very few are skilled with the quill and ink. Specially trained scribes do all the necessary inking for the nobles," the First Prince explained, "He could be taught, but it would waste valuable time. Besides, he is to leave for the Beastlands with you on the morrow, is he not?"

    Once the First Prince declared that, no one had any further objections. We finished eating then Lord Erris requested that everyone but myself, Shidah, and Amelie leave the room. Neither Andrian nor the First Prince looked happy with the idea, but they both complied when they were reminded that distractions could lead to complications.

    I was instructed to lay down on the daybed. Amelie sat in an armchair next to me and gave me a reassuring smile. Shidah stood a distance away, watching the scene impassively. Lord Erris began chanting softly. The light in the room dimmed somehow making the daylight seem hazy, as if the sun were setting.

    "Amelie, make the connection with him now," Lord Erris instructed and Amelie reached for my hand. She tied a small silver string around my wrist. I saw the other end was tied in a loose slipknot that she slipped around her wrist and tightened.

    "Using the string instead of holding your hand, from a magic standpoint, will allow me to remain emotionally separated from what I might see," she explained to me, "Or so Lord Erris believes."

    I nodded my understanding, hoping he was right.

    "Amelie will stay awake at first and wait until your subconscious is fully active before entering. When the time is right, she will enter the dream and begin guiding you. All you need to do is relax and try your best to leave your mind open to her. It''s actually best if you think of it as drifting off to sleep and don''t worry about what will happen after. Are you ready to begin?"

    I nodded.

    "Very well. Close your eyes," he directed me, "and take a deep breath. Breath in for one, two, three, hold for one, two, three, then exhale as slowly as you can, imagining you''re breathing out all of the tension in your body." I did as he instructed. It was hard to imagine falling asleep so early into the day, but I breathed slowly and tried to relax. "Continue breathing like that until I tell you to stop."

    He began chanting again, the bizarre and alien words sounding calming and soothing. Goosebumps broke out all over my body, but it felt pleasant and I let myself sink into the feeling.

    "Imagine that every muscle in your body is being massaged and loosened," he said before beginning to chant again. "You feel like you''re floating midair." As he continued, he alternated between the chanting and talking. "Imagine you''re surrounded by a dense fog¡­ You''re safe there¡­ Think of it as your special place¡­"

    As he spoke I felt the fog drifting into my mind. I knew where he was sending me. I embraced it as it came.

    "Leave your body behind¡­ Let your mind be free¡­ You feel yourself drifting away¡­ Begin breathing normally again¡­ It''s time for you to go to your safe place and rest¡­ In a moment, I will countdown from three, and when I reach one you will fall into a deep sleep¡­ Three¡­ two¡­ one¡­"

 Chapter Thirteen

    I awoke inside a place I knew well. Floating freely inside the fog, I felt safe and warm.

    How did I get here? Did something happen?

    It took me a moment to remember how I¡¯d ended up there, but the memories quickly returned, and I recalled the events from before I went to sleep.

    Right, I was asked to go here. I¡¯m supposed to wait for Amelie to come find me. I hope she doesn¡¯t get lost. There¡¯s a lot of scary places here. You have to stay away from where the fog is densest or you¡¯ll end up seeing the bad things¡­ but I guess that¡¯s why we¡¯re here though. I have to show her the bad things.

    I was suddenly angry. Why did I have to take her to see the bad things? Wouldn¡¯t it be better if we left it alone? My safe place was going to be defiled. If they took this away from me, I would have nowhere left to go.

    I decided I should hide where they couldn¡¯t find me. I had to protect myself. They tricked me.

    ¡°Falyn?!¡±

    I heard a voice calling me from off in the distance. Where was I again?

    Oh, I¡¯m in the fog¡­ Who would come looking for me here? Is it time to wake up?

    ¡°Falyn?¡± the voice called again, ¡°Please answer me! I think I¡¯m lost!¡±

    Alarm bells rang in my head as I realized someone was in my space, but then the memories returned to me once again. I wasn¡¯t angry anymore. I only got angry because I was being selfish.

    ¡°Amelie!¡± I called out. I grabbed at my throat in shock. My voice?! After I thought about it for a moment, it made sense. This was the place I was keeping it after all. I¡¯d just never tried to use it here before.

    ¡°I¡¯m over here!¡± I called to her again after a moment. I felt a strange feeling in my stomach as I used my voice. It was all happening inside my subconscious, but it felt so real that I almost believed it.

    From somewhere deeper in the fog, Amelie¡¯s figure emerged. As she realized she had found me, her body almost instantly relaxed. She gave me a relieved smile and said, ¡°I¡¯m so glad I found you! I was so worrie¨C¡±

    She stopped mid word and stared at me for a moment.

    ¡°Falyn!¡± she exclaimed as if she¡¯d just realized something, ¡°Did you¡­? You called out to me didn¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°I was surprised too,¡± I responded, not quite knowing how to explain. ¡°But it makes sense if you think about it? I can talk because you¡¯re technically listening to my thoughts. I¡¯m not using my voice, really.¡±

    You can hear me when I speak to you without using words too, can¡¯t you?

    ¡°I-I can¡­¡± Amelie looked startled. ¡°How did you do that?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t do anything, at least not actively,¡± I answered honestly, ¡°This is my space. My safe place. I go here when I need to get away. But, I think the space follows the rules I create before I even know I¡¯m creating them. I¡¯ve never really thought about it before. I don¡¯t come here to think.¡±

    ¡°But the fog we were supposed to go to should be one controlled by the caster,¡± she said in a hesitant voice, ¡°How are you the one in control?¡±

    ¡°Maybe he made a mistake? Either way, he didn¡¯t send us into a space he created, he sent us to space that already exists in me. I¡¯d never enter a space controlled by someone else. I¡¯m doing my best to trust you people but there¡¯s limits to that trust.¡± I was surprised at how cold my voice sounded when I spoke to her. I walked past her, towards where she had just emerged from. I stopped and spoke to her without turning back, ¡°This way.¡±

    The fog grew so thick we couldn¡¯t even see our hands and then we entered a long hallway, a path through the fog, filled with doors. I turned back to check and Amelie was still behind me.

    ¡°Which door do we go through?¡± she asked me, looking wary of the long hallway and all the closed doors, one after another, seeming to stretch into infinity.

    I shrugged. ¡°Whichever door you want. This is my hall of memories. Anything I don¡¯t want to remember is here, in the deepest depths of the fog. Some of the doors here contain happy memories that simply remind me of what I¡¯ve lost, but others are memories I keep shrouded so they can¡¯t hurt me. I¡¯ve never dared open a single door.¡±

    ¡°Then let¡¯s try the first one, shall we?¡± Amelie asked as she picked the first door on the right and bravely opened it.

    ¡°Mama, is dinner ready yet?¡± I asked from my position at our small table in the kitchen. I think I was seven years old.

    ¡°Soon, baby, soon. You¡¯re mama had to work later today so dinner is a little later than usual.¡± My mom was trying to quickly finish cooking dinner, probably as hungry as I was, but not complaining about it. She never complained about the hardships she endured for me.

    ¡°You have to work hard everyday. It¡¯s not fair. All the other kids have a dad to do the working. Why don¡¯t I have a dad?¡±

    I closed the door to that memory, wanting to avoid seeing my mom¡¯s stricken face that I had no way of understanding when I was younger. It wasn¡¯t until I was many years older that I understood how hard that question must have been for her.

    We turned around and opened the first door on the left.

    ¡°You can¡¯t hide forever. I¡¯m gonna find you and I¡¯m gonna make you scream like your mommy did.¡±

    Flattened and hiding under a sofa in the library, I tried desperately not to breathe. Don¡¯t find me, don¡¯t find me, don¡¯t find me, I desperately willed to the universe as the man¡¯s footsteps drew closer to me.

    ¡°You should just come out. If you come out now, we can do it nice and gentle. If I have to keep looking for you, I¡¯ll make sure you bleed!¡±

    I slammed the door shut as fast as I could, knowing too well what would come next. At fifteen, I was too tall to hide under the couch and Albrecht had seen my feet sticking out from the start. He¡¯d let me have a glimmer of hope that I might be safe, just so he could enjoy the moment when that hope was destroyed and I fell into despair.

    After he¡¯d flipped the couch over, he dragged me away and whipped me mercilessly. He made sure I bled that day. But it would have been the same result if I¡¯d revealed myself. Probably worse, because then I¡¯d have been offering it.

    We opened the second door on the left.

    ¡°Ah! How¡¯d you get so fast?!¡±

    I fell to the ground with a not so small lion cub on top of me. He¡¯d grown to the point that we were about the same height when we were on the ground. I was somewhere in my twelfth year. I laughed and flipped him, pinning him.

    ¡°Grrrroww,¡± the lion cub growled as his form of protest.

    We rolled and wrestled making a huge ruckus. Soon enough, I heard his father calling us, saying dinner was ready.

    ¡°Race you back?¡± I asked, still full of energy despite playing all afternoon.

    I watched that memory for a long while, a wistful smile crossing my lips. This was one of the happy memories I¡¯d put away. It was easier to forget than mourn what was already gone. I felt like this memory was safe now. When I closed the door, the door disappeared from sight. I allowed myself to consciously remember it again.

    We turned around again and opened the second door on the right.

    Slap! Slap!

    ¡°Pathetic.¡± Slap! ¡°Worthless.¡± Slap! ¡°Useless.¡± Slap!

    I fell to the floor of my father¡¯s study. The last blow had caused stars to explode across my vision. I tried to curl up in a ball to protect myself from the anticipated incoming kick. Instead he grabbed me by my collar and forced me to my feet. The only thing that kept me standing was the grip he had on my shirt, that pulled the neck tight enough that I couldn¡¯t breathe.

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    Slap! Slap! He held me in the air so I couldn¡¯t fall down and continued battering my face. It was sometime during my first few weeks in his house.

    ¡°Speak, you worthless bastard! I know you¡¯re faking this!¡± Slap! Blood spattered on his shirt from that final hit. He released my collar, allowing me to breathe, but landed the first kick as I was still trying to get air into my lungs. The wind was knocked out of me, leaving me unable to do anything as he rained blow after blow on my helpless form.

    I slammed the door shut. I didn¡¯t need to see anymore. I didn¡¯t want to see what was on the other side of another door. Why do this? Why go through it all? I just needed to find the right door. I closed my eyes for a moment and suddenly the hall was gone, replaced by a single door that appeared right in front of us. Amelie gasped at the sudden change in scenery.

    ¡°Is¡­ is this the right door?¡± she asked timidly. I glanced back at her and saw pity and horror written all over her face. But in this space, I didn¡¯t need to feel guilty or bad about anything, so I didn¡¯t worry too much about her reaction. She came here. She wanted to see this.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to see anymore,¡± I replied flatly, ¡°When facing more doors became more of a nightmare than the nightmare, I was able to find it."

    We opened the final door.

    I was walking down a forest path, my shirt wet from stopping at a nearby stream. The path led to my childhood home and my mother who was waiting for me to come home. I''d made three copper coins that day and I''d raced home, excited to tell her about it.

    I didn''t see them on the day it happened, but now I could see them in the trees. Soldiers keeping watch, hidden by bushes and tree trunks, sending word back to Tarlon that I''d been sighted. I''d felt their eyes on me that day, but my mind hadn''t believed they were really there, despite their forms being somewhat visible in the twilight.

    "I was coming home from working at the stables. They were already there waiting for me."

    As I reached the end of the path and exited the trees, there were horses waiting in our open front yard.

    "They had my mother long before I came home. They had orders to kill her as painfully as possible."

    My small form crept towards the open door of the house, trying to be stealthy and silent.

    "Punishment for the sin of running away from my father. Retribution for taking his son."

    A full grown man stalked my small figure from behind, getting closer and closer as I crept towards the door.

    "They raped and tortured her from dusk until dawn."

    As soon as I was close enough to almost see inside the door, someone grabbed me from behind, covering my mouth, and pushing me inside.

    ¡°Well would you look at what I found skulking about,¡± my captor called out, ¡°I¡¯ve got the kid. We don¡¯t need this bitch to talk anymore.¡±

    "They gained nothing from what they did to her. To them, it was just a bit of fun. They had their orders and they got off her agony." We remained in the front yard. I could hear my mother''s screams echoing out into the night. I didn''t need to go in there and see it first hand. Once was enough to fuel my nightmares for a lifetime.

    "I only saw flashes of it before, so I couldn''t be sure," Amelie whispered, breaking her long silence. She looked faint. "It was your father''s men, wasn''t it?"

    When I went to answer her, I was surprised to discover that my voice had disappeared. I grabbed at my throat, struggling to try to force a sound out. No! Why? Why did it go away?

    "It''s okay Falyn, just nod if it was. It''s okay if you can''t say it."

    I nodded frantically, desperate to finally tell someone what he''d done. Tears streamed down my face freely. It''s okay. Nothing here is real. It''s okay to cry here. I tried to assure myself but I couldn''t let go of the knowledge that I''d already let a tear escape the night before. I''m not ready for this. I''m not ready to deal with this.

    "You know I need to see it to confirm, don''t you?" she asked me in a small voice.

    I nodded, then turned my back and walked toward the forest. She could look at it alone. There was magic in place to protect her mind from what she''d see. I had no such assurances. I heard her footsteps walking away from me in the direction of the house.

    I stared at the forest path, focusing on the darkness within, blocking out everything else. I''d done my part. I just wanted to leave.

    "Falyn¡­"

    Eventually I heard a voice off in the distance.

    "It''s time to wake up Falyn¡­"

    Amelie must have seen enough and gone back.

    "When I count to three, you will wake up. You will only remember what your mind is prepared to remember, nothing more."

    That''s good. I only wanted the memory of Andrian.

    "One¡­ two¡­ three."

    I awoke on the daybed feeling like I¡¯d had a peaceful nap. My body and mind felt lighter than before. I opened my eyes and saw Andrian¡¯s face close to mine, watching me carefully.

    ¡°Hey sleepy head,¡± he said to me with a gentle smile, ¡°It took you a while to wake up. How are you feeling?¡±

    I gave him a smile and a nod. Looking around, I could see that everyone had returned to the room while I was out. I could see Lord Erris at the table discussing something with Shidah, the First Prince and Amelie were talking in the corner, and Rastari and Coraggio were seated in the two armchairs next to where I lay. Andrian helped me to sit up. Did it work? I don¡¯t remember what happened. The only thing I recall is a memory of playing with Andrian as a child. I hope that¡¯s not the only thing I showed her.

    Noticing I was awake, the First Prince walked over to be on the daybed. His face looked grim. I hoped he wasn¡¯t angry at me.

    ¡°How do you feel? Are you okay?¡± he asked me without any preamble.

    I nodded that I was okay and looked at him quizzically. Seeming to understand my unspoken question, he said, ¡°It was a success. Amie was able to enter your memories and find out what we needed to know.¡±

    ¡°Oh! Is he awake?¡± I heard Lord Erris suddenly ask from the table. He got up from his chair and came over to take a look at me. He studied me in detail for a few moments before beginning to question me. ¡°Do you remember anything?¡±

    I shook my head, no. It felt like I¡¯d fallen asleep and had a pleasant dream.

    "And how about your mind? Do you feel any different?" After confirming I felt no different than before, he sighed, "I''d hoped there might be a therapeutic effect as well."

    "Not after only one session," Shidah answered him, "Two or three sessions per week for at least three moon cycles is a normal treatment. What we did today was an investigation, not healing. I believe I already told you that, Erris."

    "Well it didn''t hurt to ask," Lord Erris responded, pouting like a child, despite his advanced years. "You also told me you''d never seen an extra person enter the patient''s mind. It could have made a difference."

    "Where I agree using empaths and telepaths as spirit guides could revolutionize the process, you still can''t make progress in a single session," Shida explained, sounding frustrated by the old man.

    I thought Lord Erris was amazing just for knowing magic... But it seems that magic never went away on their side of the borderland, the way it did here, and Lord Erris isn''t impressive at all to the beastmen.

    ¡°But what about the boy¡¯s magic?¡± Lord Erris suddenly asked, turning to look at me again.

    My magic? I don¡¯t have any of that! Lord Erris looked amused at my perplexed expression. He went to continue, but was interrupted by Amelie, who had remained quiet up until now.

    ¡°Falyn,¡± she said, ¡°When we were under hypnosis, we were supposed to be in a space controlled by Lord Erris¡¯ magic. But wherever we were, it was a place where you were in control, not Lord Erris.¡±

    I nodded, not fully understanding her meaning. A place where I was in control? As I contemplated, Amelie continued.

    ¡°When I entered, I found myself alone in a vast fog. It actually took me a long time to find you. When I finally did, you seemed to be completely in control of the space. You took me to a place deep in the fog, some sort of hall of memories¡­ and you were able to speak when we were in there. Actually, I found you because you called out to me.¡± She paused for a moment to consider me.

    I was dumbfounded by what she was telling me, yet at the same time it made sense. I¡¯d somehow taken her into the fog. That was certainly a space controlled by me, not Lord Erris. But how was that even possible? That place had nothing to do with magic. Amelie shouldn¡¯t have been able to get in there. But if I spoke to her, that¡¯s the only place we could have been.

    ¡°It¡¯s our theory that you created a magic space in your mind to protect yourself using your innate abilities,¡± Lord Erris said after a moment of silence. ¡°You weren¡¯t always mute, correct?¡±

    He looked to me for confirmation, and I nodded to his question. I realized it was possible that only the four generals from the Beastlands had been aware I wasn¡¯t always like this. It also occurred to me that Andrian hadn¡¯t mentioned my condition at all. Was it out of consideration? Or maybe I¡¯ve overestimated myself and I¡¯m not important enough to him for him to bother asking¡­ No, I can¡¯t think like that. He¡¯s been considerate in every other way, so that must be why. I shouldn¡¯t start doubting him for no reason.

    Unaware of my inner struggle, Lord Erris continued, ¡°I believe somehow your voice is connected to that place you created. Perhaps losing your voice was a condition of the spell that created it, perhaps it''s simply the place your voice went. You are physically capable of speech, yes?"

    I didn''t know how to answer that. No, I didn''t want to answer that. He wouldn''t understand. Plus, I wasn''t really sure anymore. I shrugged noncommittally and left it at that.

    "Oh come on! How can you not¨C"

    "That''s enough," the First Prince interrupted. "That''s none of our concern. There is only one question he needs to answer. Amelie saw everything, but I still need you to confirm it. Officially, as your Crown Prince and future King, I ask now you, was your father, Duke of Ramport, the one who ordered your mother¡¯s death, and was it the Duke¡¯s knights who committed the act?"

    My palms were clammy and my throat felt dry. I knew that this question would come. The sorrow, fear, and loathing that had built up inside me left me shaking, but I met the First Prince¡¯s eyes and nodded my affirmation. It was him. It was all his fault. My father, the Duke. He was the one.

 Chapter Fourteen

    Lord Erris clearly wanted to question me more but the First Prince shut him down, citing the need to finalize the details of both the wedding and the treaty. I was grateful for the intervention, as I really had no idea how to answer his questions, nor did I have any desire to do so. But I was still curious about the magic, especially the part where he thought I had some. However, he would want to ask about too many things that I wasn¡¯t willing to share with him. For now, it was better for us both to be left in the dark.

    We sat down at the table and the final negotiations began. Amelie departed, stating she had work to do and Lord Erris followed after, claiming he needed to consult his uncle''s notes. I had nothing to add to the discussion but I was still seated at the table with the generals and the First Prince to ensure I was aware of everything I needed to know. Much like at the banquet the night before, I spent my time listening to them talk about things I didn¡¯t really understand, but I did my best to follow the conversation.

    The first order of business was to finalize the wedding plans. We were to leave for the Beastlands on the morrow and it would take almost a week to arrive at the borderland where we would cross over into the beast territory. The Beastland wedding would happen first, and we would travel to the trading city in the center of the tribal villages for it. The Beastlands had no ruling class, so the wedding would be attended by representatives of all the villages, and held in a public space where all would be welcome to attend. The wedding was scheduled to take place at the beginning of the first moon cycle after our arrival, on the night of the new moon. Beastland weddings, which they called joining ceremonies, were always held on the night of the new moon to symbolize the couple¡¯s new beginning. Shidah had volunteered to officiate the ceremony, something to which I readily agreed to when asked. After the joining ceremony, we would be granted a reprieve for three moon cycles before we would have to return to the Vraynian Kingdom for the official wedding.

    After finalizing the details of the wedding, they continued on to subjects I had no hope of following. As I listened, they discussed many aspects of future trade and skill sharing.  They entertained the possibility of sending human magic users to the Beastlands to hone their skills, as well as bringing some shamans to Vrayna to learn human medicine. It amazed me to hear about all the opportunities that could arise from joint cooperation. It¡¯s a shame we wasted so much time trying to keep the Beastlands separate from us. In a way, the war has opened us up to many new possibilities.

    We were served lunch and eventually dinner as the topics of poverty in the slums of Vrayna and weapons that could aid in monster battles were reviewed. They also discussed ways to assure continued peace between our nations, including ways to humanize the beasts in the eyes of the Vraynian people. Andrian was almost as quiet as I was through the process, seemingly uninterested in the discussion. I recalled it being mentioned that he was a last minute addition, having come here to look for me, not to participate in the talks. I guessed he had as little part in the negotiations as I did.

    Throughout the day I took many opportunities to study him, fascinated by the man who came all this way to find me. He would have been younger than me by two, possibly three years, so he couldn¡¯t have been more than twenty two. To have succeeded in becoming a general at such a young age, he must have been truly impressive. He was strong, smart, and had already earned his place in the world, yet he still chose to come find me. He was even willing to marry me. I felt like I didn¡¯t deserve him. I hoped he wouldn¡¯t be disappointed by me.

    But there was also the other issue, the thing the other generals hinted at before. He already found his mate long before he found me again¡­ What will that mean when we get back to the Beastlands? Will they be heartbroken? What if they decide to be together and I¡¯m left alone again? Will Andrian grow to resent me? ¡­and why did he kiss me? He seemed like he wanted to do more than just kiss me too. If I hadn¡¯t reacted like that, I wonder how far he would have taken things... It¡¯s probably for the better that it turned out that way. I don¡¯t want to get too attached to someone I can¡¯t have. Plus, if there¡¯s already someone he loves, I shouldn¡¯t be doing those kinds of things with him anyways.

    As I struggled with those thoughts, I fell into deep contemplation and stopped listening to the conversation entirely. A pit began forming in my stomach, and the word ¡®mate¡¯ ran through my head over and over again. I felt like I was a selfish and awful person for wanting to take him away from his mate. But I wanted all of him. Everything was happening so fast, but I couldn¡¯t deny this feeling. It started so naturally, with feelings of joy at our reunion and of relief that my friend had survived the war. But as I spent time with him again, as I got to experience what it was like to feel safe, to feel wanted, I immediately began craving more. I felt obsessed with keeping this newfound sense of security. Maybe my feelings for him are nothing but a selfish desire to have someone to protect me. Is it possible I¡¯m just using him?

    I felt a hand touch my knee, pulling me out of the dark thoughts that permeated my mind. I looked up and saw Andrian¡¯s amber eyes focused on me, full of concern. The pit in my stomach and all of my anxieties immediately disappeared. None of it mattered as long as he kept looking at me. I felt the corners of my mouth turn up as I continued looking at him, and I placed my hand on his. His face relaxed a little, and he took advantage of the situation to start holding my hand under the table. I didn¡¯t want to doubt him. I wanted to let go of everything and fall into his arms. It was a terrifying feeling that I didn¡¯t relish in the slightest. However, I could be fine with all of it as long as he didn¡¯t let go of my hand.

    By the time the negotiations had finally concluded, the sun had set and it was time for us to head to bed. It seemed to be assumed that I was going back to Andrian¡¯s room with him, as nothing was mentioned by the First Prince about my accommodations. I didn¡¯t mind though. Andrian¡¯s room was exactly where I wanted to sleep.

    This time, I walked there of my own accord. As we ascended the long spiral staircase that led to the wing that the beastmen were being housed in, I found myself growing short of breath from the climb. I¡¯d thought I¡¯d done a decent job of keeping myself in shape, but I¡¯d had limited space in that single room and was rarely able to exercise my lungs. At one point, Andrian noticed my struggles and offered to carry me, but my pride wouldn¡¯t allow it. I didn¡¯t mind being weaker than he was. After all, not only was he a soldier, but he was also a beastman and the physical capabilities of beastmen were well known to surpass those of humans. But I wasn¡¯t a child and I didn¡¯t want to be dependent on his strength. If I truly wanted to be with him, I needed to stand on my own two feet and live by my own strength, meager as it may be. I didn¡¯t want him to be burdened by my ineptitude. Although we were slowed by my struggles, we eventually reached the top of the long staircase and entered the hallway that led to his room.

    Upon entering the room, we discovered there were two sets of sleeping attire left folded atop the bed for us. They were identical garments made of the softest, smoothest material I had ever felt, a simple beige in color. The only difference between the two sleep sets was the size, reminding me again of the differences in our physiques. I wasn¡¯t small, in fact I was around average height for a human man, but he was just that much bigger. He was similar in height to Rastari, I guessed, however he had wider shoulders and a strong build. Though his body was slender, not bulky or thick, he was still enormous compared to the average human.

    ¡°Do you remember the way to the dressing room?¡± he asked me as I was picking up the smaller set of clothes. I nodded that I did and began making my way to the door.

    As I was about to exit the room, I heard a faint rustling sound and I turned around to look just as he was turning his back to the door and removing his shirt. I assumed that was the rustling sound I¡¯d heard. I knew I should turn around and keep going but I couldn¡¯t help but stop and admire his leanly muscled back. My mouth felt a little dry as I watched his shirt drop to the floor before he reached down to grab the new shirt off the bed. What the hell is wrong with me? I should get out of here before he catches me watching him.

    But I didn¡¯t move fast enough and he turned around to face me right as I thought that. I froze as I realized I was caught, and I felt my face flush with embarrassment. Seeing my face redden, Andrian¡¯s eyebrows raised for a moment before he chuckled and said, ¡°You don¡¯t have to leave if you don¡¯t want to.¡±

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    My face grew even hotter and I looked at my feet, unsure if I should stay or run away as fast as I could. While I was avoiding his gaze, he closed the distance between us, stopping just inches from where I stood. He didn¡¯t do anything but stand there, so close I could feel his body heat, but his proximity made my pulse speed up. I slowly lifted my eyes away from the floor and found myself at eye level with his chest, which had a soft looking layer of fur on it. Unthinking I reached up to touch it, wanting to see if it was as soft as it looked. I quickly discovered it was indeed that soft and rubbed my hand over it. It feels just like it did when I rubbed his belly when he was still small. He was such a cute little cub.

    I moved my eyes upwards to his face and realized exactly what I¡¯d been doing. Andrian looked down at me with hungry eyes and I shuddered. He shoved his face into my neck, sniffing at me, sending chills down my spine and causing goosebumps to break out all over my body, right to the tips of my toes. The sensation dizzied me and I pressed my hands to his chest to steady myself. Underneath my hand, Andrian''s heart was pounding wildly in his chest.

    ¡°Haah, I changed my mind,¡± he said, gently pushing me away, ¡°You should go before I do something foolish.¡± He pushed me through the open door. ¡°I¡¯ll wait here for you.¡± Then he quickly closed the door behind me.

    Did I do something wrong? I wondered, as I stood shell shocked in the hallway. I didn¡¯t fully understand how I¡¯d ended up where I was, but I couldn¡¯t help but feel that I must have made a mistake for him to push me out so suddenly. I guess I shouldn¡¯t have pet him like that. Or maybe he just didn¡¯t like how I smelled today. I hope he¡¯s not mad at me when I get back.

    I found the dressing room with ease and changed into the satiny soft sleeping clothes before returning to Andrian¡¯s room. I stood in front of the door for a moment, nervous about what might happen when he opened it. Was he mad? Would he tell me I had to sleep somewhere else now? I supposed there was nothing that could be done if he did and opened the door. Andrian was already waiting in the bed for me and held the blanket up, indicating for me to get in with him. Relieved, I closed the door and hopped into bed. He wrapped the blanket and his arms around me tightly.

    ¡°Goodnight my Falyn,¡± he whispered softly to me, kissing my forehead.

    I smiled and closed my eyes. For the second night in a row, I was able to fall into a pleasant, dreamless sleep, wrapped in his safety and warmth.

    The next morning I was shaken awake before the sun had a chance to rise in the sky. Yawning, I rubbed my eyes as servants entered the room with fresh clothes and a small but hearty meal to start the day. Eating the fruit and nut filled porridge, I slowly became alert and started getting myself ready to depart. I was supplied with clothes similar to the ones I¡¯d worn the day before, along with a warm cloak with a hood to wear over my shoulders. I went to the dressing room to prepare myself, leaving Andrian to dress himself in the room. When I got back, we descended the long spiral staircase into the main part of the Palace. I realized I was tracing my steps from the day I arrived and we soon exited out the back door.

    We made it out before the other three generals, but the First Prince and Amelie were already waiting for us outside. The morning air was crisp and I could see my breath when I exhaled. I was grateful for the cloak as I would have been freezing without it. As we walked toward them, the First Prince raised his hand to call us over to him.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± he greeted us, ¡°Falyn, I had the servants pack some additional provisions for you, since you arrived at the Palace with only the clothes on your back which, by the way, we have thrown out. There should be ample clothes packed for you though, enough to last for more than just your travels.¡±

    I went to offer a deep bow as a gesture of my gratitude, but the First Prince held up his hand to stop me. ¡°Please don¡¯t show me any gratitude,¡± he said with a sad smile. ¡°This is the least I can do in apology for what you¡¯ve been forced to endure. I know that it doesn¡¯t erase the hardships you¡¯ve endured, but I¡¯m glad those hardships seem to have led you to something worthwhile. I don''t have words to express my appreciation and regret over everything that has happened to you. I hope you can find happiness and solace where you are going, and¨C Ah, it looks like the others have arrived.¡±

    I had a feeling he would have gone on like that for a good while, so I was grateful for the interruption. I turned around to see the other generals exiting the Palace, bleary eyed and looking like they could have used another few hours of sleep. Rastari yawned noisily as they reached us where we stood.

    ¡°It looks like you found the gifts I sent to your rooms last night,¡± the First Prince laughed, ¡°That was the strongest liquor the Kingdom of Vrayna has to offer. I didn''t think you''d open it the night before such an early departure.¡±

    ¡°Prince Elantro,¡± Rastari said with another yawn, ¡°If you didn''t want us to drink it last night then you should have given it to us this morning.¡±

    The other two nodded their agreement, and all three of them looked at the First Prince like he¡¯d secretly plotted to give them such terrible hangovers. I laughed silently at their disheveled states. Having fallen asleep immediately in Andrian¡¯s arms, I was feeling well rested and ready for the journey. They had my sympathy, but I couldn¡¯t help but be amused by their lack of foresight.

    ¡°Maybe you''re just getting old, my friend,¡± Coraggio cut in, looking the least ragged of the three. He was certainly younger than the other two by a number of years. From what I had gathered, Rastari was nearing thirty five years of age, and Shidah was over forty. Coraggio had not quite seen thirty yet. ¡°I feel just fine,¡± he added, looking proud of himself. I didn¡¯t think he looked particularly fine, just better off than the other two.

    ¡°General Rastari, this whole meeting was an unexpected pleasure,¡± the First Prince said, offering his hand to Rastari. ¡°I am honored to be able to call you friend.¡±

    ¡°Aye,¡± Rastari agreed, ¡°You''re not bad for a human, Elantro. I am glad we were able to reach such an agreeable resolution to this ridiculous conflict. I''ll look forward to our continued cooperation in future.¡±

    ¡°And as for the matter of how the war started,¡± the First Prince added in a hushed tone, ¡°We will be conducting a full investigation behind the scenes. With the new information Falyn has provided, we''re going to re-investigate each of the original victims and see what we can find. It might take a while, but once we''ve gathered enough proof, we''ll invite you back. I have no intention of letting the Duke get away with this. These are crimes that were horrible enough to start a war. If he was the one who ordered those crimes with the intent of starting that war, then I will gladly hand him and his men over to you and the Beastlands for whatever punishments you see fit.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll look forward to your next letter then,¡± Rastari said with a wicked smile. Then, in a more serious tone, he continued, ¡°But keep in mind, your own brother might be implicated in this as well. We won¡¯t ask you to hand him over to us, but we will expect you to take appropriate action.¡±

    The First Prince¡¯s face hardened at that statement, but he nodded in agreement regardless. ¡°If my brother was involved, I will ensure he is punished for his crimes. But let us not part with such darkness in our hearts. All will be resolved in good time and, for now, we have made great progress in the name of peace and cooperation. Let us part with words of friendship and hope for the future.¡±

    The four generals were all glad to agree to that and we said our goodbyes. Amelie hugged me tightly and, before she let me go, she whispered, ¡°I hope to see thee on the other side, Falyn. Go seek your happiness. Let your fate be decided by love.¡±

    I squeezed her tightly, grateful to her in more ways that I could ever express. I wished her all the happiness in the world. Hopefully she felt those feelings coming from me.

    This time, there was no carriage to ride in and we would be riding on horseback instead. I must have looked nervous, having never ridden before, and it was quickly suggested that I ride with Andrian on his horse. He effortlessly lifted me up from to the ground, placing me in front of him in the saddle. I felt like I was incredibly high up and my heart felt like it might explode from nervousness when the horse first started moving.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± Andrian whispered into my ear, ¡°I won¡¯t let you fall.¡±

    I cautiously opened my eyes, which I had closed tightly at first signs of movement from the large horse. I could feel Andrian¡¯s warm body at my back and his arms were there to protect me on both sides as he held onto the reins. It was high up, but I realized I wasn¡¯t in any danger. Relaxing into him, I took in the sights of the city in the early morning, my eyes wide open, not shut tight in fear.

    As we traveled through the inner city of Luz Dorada, the professionals of the city walked and travelled by carriage to their workplaces, and cafe owners were setting up shop in preparation of all the young, silver haired nobles coming out to play. But it wasn¡¯t until I saw the inner gate looming in the distance that it finally hit me. I was free. I was leaving Vrayna and no one from my father¡¯s house was coming after us to drag me back.

    Watching the sun slowly emerged from where it was hidden behind Luz Dorada¡¯s gate, I felt a sense of ease that I hadn¡¯t felt in almost ten years. With the morning sun illuminating us in light, I smiled peacefully and leaned against the man who had rescued me from my nightmares. Maybe, just maybe, I thought, I can find my way again. For the first time, I feel like I can look to the future with something other than dread. I think I can actually say that I¡¯m happy to be alive.

 Chapter Fifteen

    The massive stone wall and shining golden gate on the north side of the city looked exactly the same as the one in the south. It even had the same silver armored knights walking a similar gold fenced pathway. I imagined that eastern and western gates probably looked the same as well. I suppose money can¡¯t buy originality, I thought to myself as we approached the outer part of the city. The Palace was so garish, with those ridiculous themed rooms, endless hallways, and over the top displays of wealth. The entire inner city seems out of touch with the world outside. It¡¯s just a sterile shiny playground for the nobles to bury their heads in the sand and forget about the horrors outside these walls. After a few days in the Palace, I understand better what a shiny golden lie this whole city is. I wonder how the First Prince can stand it. He certainly doesn¡¯t act like the rest of the Royal and noble blooded people I¡¯ve seen. But I suppose he¡¯s used to such things by now.

    When I entered the city with the Second Prince, there was cheering and the knights made great effort to show their respect and admiration for their liege. Departing the city with the beastmen was a different experience entirely. They didn¡¯t announce or greet us, and the silence that fell as we passed through the gate was almost deafening on its own. The beastmen clearly didn¡¯t care, however and rode through the gate with heads held high and eyes straight ahead. I wished I could be as confident as they were. I still felt nervous whenever I was around knights, even if they were proper knights, like the Royal ones. If nothing else, I could say that I didn¡¯t cower as we passed them, knowing Andrian was there to protect me.

    Riding through the outer city, it felt like the world around me had come back to life. The liveliness of the streets around me was a relief from the pristine and perfect inner city, with its well behaved, silver haired population. Outside the inner gate was a world of random colors, various sights and smells, and unique people bustling about. The people here gave the beastmen a wide berth as we passed, but they didn¡¯t seem to be particularly frightened, just smart enough to stay out of the way of soldiers.

    Sitting in front of Andrian, I was able to take in so much more of the vibrant city than I could through the window of a carriage. The smells of grilled meat, baked bread and pastries, and fresh brewed coffee assaulted my nose as we passed a collection of food stalls and cafes. They were all set up on the same street, battling it out for customers by offering the ¡°best¡± or the ¡°cheapest¡± something or other. Soon we entered the market and passed through streets and alleys full of flower shops, fruit stalls, butchers, and bakers. All the shopkeepers and stall owners called out to us as we passed, offering deals on provisions for the journey. I was happy to see that capitalism was alive and well, and that the merchants prioritized that far higher than things like hatred and war. They didn¡¯t care who we were, as long as we had money. No one in our group answered their calls though, and I was the only one who even glanced in their direction.

    We reached the end of the merchant district and passed into the residential area. After passing the rows upon rows of townhomes, the quality of the buildings slowly deteriorated and we entered into the slums in the outskirts of the city. The houses here were mostly mud huts and shacks made of precariously stacked wood pieces. There were no fenced yards or obvious division of land, rather everything was just a disorganized mess of makeshift dwellings with a clearing for the main road so carriages and horses could pass through.

    Normally the slums weren¡¯t a good place to find one¡¯s self. You¡¯d usually be coming across dirty children begging for food while their mothers sold their bodies to shady, dangerous looking men in alleyways for a single copper coin. The men of the slums, when you could find them at all, would be in dark taverns, gambling with whatever they could steal, before drinking away their winnings. The atmosphere of this morning, however, was completely different. At the far edge of the slums I could see the beast army¡¯s camp, consisting of a series of tents that stretched as far as the eye could see. Between where the slums ended and their encampment began, I could see the beastmen standing on top of wagons laden with food stuffs, handing out bags of grains and various other provisions to the desperate poor commoners who lived there. The sound of children laughing warmed the cold morning air and I saw a collection of children who were taking turns riding on top of a couple large bears that could only be beastmen in their animal forms.

    ¡°So what do you think, little human?¡± Rastari asked me as he pulled his horse up next to me. ¡°A little improvement from how your nobles handle things, eh?¡±

    I nodded fervently in agreement. Compared to the misery I saw when I passed through the slums on the south end of the city, this sight was truly a miracle.

    ¡°When we got here, the first thing we did was send the wagons out to all four corners of the city,¡± Shidah said from behind us, ¡°We were informed in advance about the vile state these people are forced to live in, so we brought along enough extra to keep them fed for a while. The grains can keep good on their own, and everything else had preservation magic cast on it. If they share well and use common pots to make soups and stews, what we¡¯ve provided should last them through the upcoming winter.¡±

    Seeing the downcast, forgotten people of Vrayna looking so vibrant and happy tugged at my heartstrings more than a little. It¡¯s horrible to know how these people struggle and starve each day when the Palace could easily feed them with the scraps from the Royal kitchen. I¡¯ve been so concerned with my own suffering all these years that I forgot other people have been suffering so horribly alongside me.

    The dirty, emaciated children wearing little more than rags giggled and ran about, playing the way children should. Their parents watched them playing with the two beasts without a hint of concern on their worn out faces. In an open area in the midst of all the shacks and huts, a large fire pit was burning bright with a pot full of boiled oats steaming above it. A couple of smaller sized beastmen stood near the pot with a ladle, scooping up bowls of the hot gruel and handing it out to adults and children alike. There was a sense of community that had, in all likelihood, never been present before here, in the everyman for himself world of the slums.

    ¡°In the Beastlands, we would never allow this kind of situation to happen. Every village is responsible for its own, and we would consider it a source of shame to have our people starve, beg, and suffer like this. Your nobility treats innocent children how we would treat our criminals.¡± The contempt Rastari felt for the nobles of Vrayna was clear, but I didn¡¯t take it personally, despite technically being one. I¡¯d never gotten the impression he considered me one of those contemptible nobles he spoke of, and I¡¯d never considered myself to be one either. My father might have been a Duke, but my mother raised me as a commoner.

    ¡°Woooow! Look! He¡¯s so big!!!¡± Before Rastari could continue his thoughts, a loud voice interrupted us. A couple of the smaller kids had noticed our arrival and gotten very excited when they saw Shidah¡¯s towering form, seated atop his cart horse.

    ¡°Big brother! Big brother!¡± the other child called out, ¡°Are you a big bear brother too?¡±

    ¡°Can we ride you?!¡± the first one asked, jumping up and down in anticipation.

    ¡°The other kids said we¡¯re too small!¡±

    ¡°But we¡¯re not!¡±

    ¡°And you¡¯re the biggest brother!¡±

    The two children tag teamed him relentlessly, desperate to convince him to agree to their request. ¡°Please big brother!¡± they cried in unison, bouncing and pleading with him with all their might. Shindah seemed to know he was beaten and climbed down off his horse with a giant smile on his face.

    ¡°Can you take him the rest of the way?¡± he asked both Andrian and I, but he held the reins for the giant cart horse out in my direction. ¡°He follows well and won¡¯t give you any trouble. Just hold on to the reins and he¡¯ll follow naturally.¡±

    I reached out and took the large horse¡¯s reins from him. His horse made a light sputtering sound but stayed calmly by my side. Andrian backed our horse up a bit, but he made no move to continue onwards. With my head resting comfortably against his chest, I was absolutely entranced as I watched Shindah shift into his animal form. Though my brain could perceive that he had shifted form, my eyes only saw a giant brown bear pop into existence where he was just standing. It was the same when Andrian shifted into a lion in front of me before. Beast magic really was amazing.

    I had already thought Shidah was enormous in his human form, but as a bear, he was at least twice the size of a natural bear. The children shrieked and squealed in delight, and Shidah laid himself flat on the ground, belly down, so they could climb their way onto his back. Once they were seated, he stood up and they shrieked with glee as they found themselves up as high as some of the smaller building¡¯s rooftops. With the two kids holding onto his fur tightly, Shidah lumbered over to where the first two bears were playing with the other kids.

    ¡°He can¡¯t say no to the little ones,¡± Coraggio said to me, pulling up next to us. ¡°His poor mate. He¡¯s just an extra kid for her to take care of when he¡¯s home.¡±

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    ¡°Such small human-shaped children is something new for him,¡± Rastari added, ¡°Our cubs don¡¯t get a humanoid form until they¡¯re past an age where they would be cute. Humans in their immature forms, however, are quite charming. It¡¯s a shame what they grow into, isn¡¯t it?¡± I couldn¡¯t help but laugh at his dry humor. He seemed to enjoy teasing me for being human, but I didn¡¯t mind it at all. Twas naught but a silent shaking of my shoulders, but it was nice to feel capable of laughter again. ¡°Let¡¯s get moving before one of those little brats asks to ride me,¡± he said with a shudder, and Rastiari urged his horse forward towards the sea of tents ahead of us. Coraggio followed right behind him, seeming to share his feelings about playing pony for the children.

    ¡°I wish I could have seen you when you were as small as those little ones were,¡± Andrian whispered into my ear as he signaled to our horse to begin moving forward. ¡°You were still adorable when I met you at double their age, so I bet you would have been way cuter than those two.¡±

    I felt my face get flushed and slapped his leg gently in response.

    ¡°But it¡¯s true. I remember it perfectly. That day I found you crying in the forest, you were so cute with your red puffy eyes and hiccups. I just knew I had to take care of you,¡± he continued, ignoring my embarrassment.

    As my face grew redder and redder from his teasing, I realized he was doing it on purpose. Keeping a close hold on the reins of Shidah¡¯s horse, I crossed my arms and let out a huffy breath.

    ¡°If you don¡¯t like being called cute, then you shouldn¡¯t have been such a cute kid,¡± he retorted to my exhale of protest. ¡°And you¡¯re still cute now. Especially when you''re embarrassed and pouting.¡±

    I turned to give him a disapproving look and realized I¡¯d fallen into his trap. Unmindful of everything going on around us, he stole my breath with a short kiss. As I stared wide eyed at him, he chuckled lightly and pushed his horse to catch up with the other two, who¡¯d had no qualms about continuing on without us. I supposed, in that respect, the slums were still every man for himself.

    We left Shidah behind and continued on to the tents that lay ahead of us. I began feeling a little nervous, worried that the rest of the generals who awaited us wouldn¡¯t be okay with how things turned out. The human side had attempted to sabotage the treaty by sending me and it was only through a series of small miracles that things had turned out okay. But what if they insisted on sending me back because I wasn¡¯t suitable? Was it possible the treaty would still fall through and it would be all my fault? I knew I wasn¡¯t good for much, but I hoped I was good enough to not ruin everything.

    As we entered the beast encampment, there were already many beastmen of every variety out of their tents and getting ready for the day. It surprised me to see that there was an equal number of female soldiers as there were male. In Vrayna, only the men were allowed to serve in the military, as it wasn¡¯t considered appropriate for delicate women to go into battle with the rough men. The beastmen clearly had no such qualms and their females looked as powerful and battle ready as the men did. I couldn¡¯t help but stare, however, seeing their feminine forms covered in leather armor as they packed their gear and sharpened their blades.

    Seeing where my gaze was focused, Andrian quietly spoke into my ear, ¡°We don¡¯t have any silly rules that say only men can go into battle the way humans do. We see no reason to keep our women at home. Anyone with an able body and the desire can join our army. The monsters care naught if you are a man or a woman, so why should we?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help but be impressed by their equalist attitude and the strong women of the Beastlands. They didn¡¯t look like the frail and small women that was standard for humans. They were proud and capable, and no different from the men.

    As we continued onward, countless eyes turned to look at us, many watching me curiously. With Andrian at my back, their looks didn¡¯t scare me, and I could certainly understand their interest. I was the lone human returning them when they were supposed to return with a noble bride. We soon approached what I could only assume was the center of the camp where a huge tent was set up as a sort of command center. The rest of the command group were probably inside waiting to greet us. I couldn¡¯t help but stiffen up when I thought about it. I¡¯d been lucky so far, but what if my luck was about to end?

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± Andrian said to me, absentmindedly rubbing his hand up and down my arm, ¡°They might not be happy with what your father and that other Prince tried to do, but they won¡¯t blame you for their actions. Plus, they all agreed to let me come here to search for you, so they¡¯ll be happy for us. Just relax. Nothing bad will happen to you. Rastari will know the best way to approach this, so we just have to trust him and let him explain it.¡±

    I turned and gave him a grateful smile before allowing my body to release the tension I¡¯d been holding and relax against him once more. It was amazing that he could understand exactly how I was feeling. Maybe my luck hadn¡¯t run out after all.

    We caught up to Rastari and Coraggio, who had stopped outside the large tent to wait for us. Rastari stepped forward to help me get down from the horse, holding out a hand for me to grip onto while I climbed off. I handed the reins of Shidah¡¯s horse to Andrian and landed safely on the ground. Andrian dismounted while still holding onto both sets of reins.

    ¡°I¡¯ll take the horses,¡± Coraggio volunteered himself, grabbing all four horses and leading them to somewhere beyond the large tent.

    ¡°Come, little human,¡± Rastari said, gesturing for me to enter the large tent with him, ¡°Let¡¯s introduce you to the others.¡±

    I looked to Andrian, who nodded for me to go ahead, and then I followed Rastari into the large tent. Once inside, I saw another three large figures and one small one seated around a fire, drinking coffee and chatting quietly. When we entered, it took them a moment to notice us, but they quickly fell silent when they saw Rastari approaching with myself in tow. Andrian followed quietly behind us.

    ¡°Well, at least they didn¡¯t kill you,¡± one of the large figures said with a laugh. ¡°Glad to see you made it back in one piece. Who¡¯s the boy?

    Rastari laughed heartily then answered with a far too serious expression, ¡°My wife.¡±

    Remembering what Andrian had said, I tried not to let the shock I felt at his response show. The beastmen chuckled and shook their heads.

    ¡°I see you¡¯re still full of shit,¡± said the one who spoke before, ¡°We worried about you for nothing.¡±

    ¡°If anyone is full of shit, it¡¯s you Harlow,¡± Rastari continued, ¡°Let me tell you a story then. A lot¡¯s happened over the past few days.¡±

    Rastari proceeded to tell them an abridged version of everything that had happened at the Palace, from his arrival that I wasn¡¯t present for, up to when we met for the first time. He proceeded to tell them about my father, his failed plans, and my position as replacement marriage partner, but for some reason, he didn¡¯t mention anything about Andrian or any of the details about my history. From listening to the story, one would think that I was still to marry Rastari, and he made no mention of my inability to speak. He simply told them that my father was a bastard who wanted to ruin the treaty and that I was a victim of circumstances. The four generals listened to his story with interest. The one called Harlow seemed to be gauging me and my reactions, but didn¡¯t add or ask anything, and I didn¡¯t feel particularly threatened by his stare. The other three looked at me with complete sympathy and understanding.

    The other four generals were introduced to me once Rastari was done explaining my presence. Harlow was the general of one of the wolf tribes, and surprisingly, a close friend to Coraggio. Then I was introduced to Thoma of the northernmost bear tribe, the one who Heinrich, the Marquis of Misenport, was trying to make contact with. The other two were Garwal of the southern snake tribe, and a female general from the fox tribe named Luxania, an elder cousin to Coraggio¡¯s mate. For some reason, Rastari introduced me to them as Julien, not Falyn. I had no way of correcting him and I couldn¡¯t help but wonder what he was thinking. Andrian didn¡¯t say anything about it, and hung back from where we were standing, not involving himself in the greetings. I trusted there must be a reason for it and made no gestures of complaint.

    ¡°Young man,¡± Luxania said to me once the introductions were done, ¡°My heart goes out to you for what you have gone through. Regardless of anything this scoundrel might have told you, I hope you know we would never force you into an unwanted mating. We can perform the joining ceremony as planned, but we don¡¯t expect you to fulfill any duties outside the political ones. And you certainly don¡¯t have to live with that rascal if you don¡¯t want to. I can offer you a place in my home if you need to escape him.¡± She said the last part in a teasing tone, and winked at me as she spoke.

    Rastari burst into laughter at her words. ¡°Ah Luxie, there is more to his story than you can imagine. I haven¡¯t even gotten to the best part.¡±

    ¡°Hah, there¡¯s always more to the story with you,¡± she responded before turning to me again, ¡°If he¡¯s giving you trouble, just let me know. I¡¯ll give him a swift kick for you anytime.¡± I instantly liked Luxania and her upfront and friendly personality. She was around the age my mother would have been, if she were still alive.

    ¡°What are you going on about, Luxie?¡± Harlow interrupted in a less friendly tone, ¡°Haven¡¯t you noticed that he hasn¡¯t said a single word since he got here? Something about him is off. Are you sure that sob story is true?¡±

    ¡°Harlow.¡± All Rastari said was his name, but the warning growl in Rastari¡¯s tone was enough to make Harlow immediately back down.

    ¡°I was just asking,¡± Harlow responded, a hint of sullenness in his voice, ¡°You bring us some Duke¡¯s son, tell us that he¡¯s the victim in all this, and expect us to just trust it. I¡¯m not saying he¡¯s up to no good, but the whole thing is a little suspicious. You expect me to believe that a member of the human ruling class, a male no less, has actually agreed to join with you? There¡¯s no way.¡±

    ¡°Ah, I can see your point,¡± Rastari conceded, ¡°But I did say there was more to the story. What I¡¯ve told you so far is only the beginning. Do you want to hear the rest or not?¡± I realized at that point that he was enjoying himself.

    ¡°Harlow can just shut his mouth either way, cause I want to hear the rest,¡± Luxania said, cutting off any further objections from Harlow. I could understand his trepidation. If I were any other human, he probably would have been right. I couldn¡¯t hold it against him if he didn¡¯t trust me.

    ¡°So who remembers the name Simona of Rovette?¡± Rastari asked with a meaningful look at all of them.

    ¡°How could we forget the name that started this damn stupid war?¡± Harlow answered with an angry glint in his eye. ¡°Why the hell are you bringing up the dead now?¡±

    ¡°Please allow me to re-introduce my human friend here,¡± Rastari said, presenting me again with flourish, ¡°This is indeed Julien de Ramport, son of the Duke of Ramport. However, he was born as Falyn, son of Simona of Rovette.¡± That statement stopped Harlow and the rest of them in their tracks. Rastari looked pleased with himself and added, ¡°I told you there was more to the story.¡±

 Chapter Sixteen

    As he¡¯d intended, Rastari now had everyone¡¯s attention.

    ¡°Let me tell you another story, two stories actually,¡± he continued, ¡°The first is the story of a boy, raised by his mother in an eastern human village. One day, the boy¡¯s father sent some bad men to take the boy away, and the bad men killed his mother. The boy was forced to witness what the bad men did before they brought him to his father, who just happened to be the Duke of Ramport. The boy¡¯s name was changed, his past erased, and he was locked up in the Duke¡¯s home, for some nefarious reasons, I¡¯m sure. The boy suffered under his father¡¯s tyranny for ten long years. Then, one day, the boy¡¯s sister was ordered by Royal decree to participate in a political marriage with someone she refused to marry. You¡¯ve figured out the rest of the story by now, haven''t you?¡±

    It felt incredibly odd to hear my past recounted by Rastari in such a way. I felt like I was listening to a bard spinning a tale. I was somewhat amazed at the fact I could listen to my own story like this without faltering. It was a small step forward, but it felt significant somehow. It was only two days ago that I almost completely broke down just from thinking about it, but now I could listen to him with a feeling of detachment, like it really was a bard¡¯s tale.

    ¡°So, if I¡¯m to understand correctly,¡± Garwal suddenly said, ¡°You¡¯re telling me that the Duke of Ramport had the mother of his child murdered, in front of said child no less, framed us for it, but then sent the sole witness to his crimes into our custody?¡±

    ¡°If I recall correctly, Harlow was just mentioning the fact that my little human friend here hasn¡¯t said anything to us yet. Think about it. Falyn¡¯s father willingly sent him to us, despite him being the one person who could tell us the truth. Why do you think that might be?¡± Rastaro gave them all pointed looks before answering his own question. ¡°Because he can¡¯t tell us. He can¡¯t tell anyone anything. We discovered as much as we did thanks to an empath in Elantro¡¯s employ. He¡¯s done a good job of keeping her abilities under wraps so no one factored for her interference. But think about it. His mother was the first victim, but not the only victim. It was multiple years and over a dozen bodies later that the humans invaded us in the name of vengeance. That means that a group of humans went and systematically tortured and murdered all those women living along the border. But all the bodies show signs of animal damage, didn''t they? Maybe that was just their sick idea of fun, and their method of disposal was leaving the bodies for animals. It¡¯s possible, I admit, but what if they were deliberately trying to make it look like the work of a beastman? In that case, did they do it to cover their tracks or were they deliberately trying to start a war with us?¡±

    ¡°I take it all back,¡± Harlow interjected, ¡°Boy, if you¡¯re gonna help us dig up the truth, then I think you might be my new favorite human.¡±

    ¡°Hold on,¡± Thoma said, turning to Andrian behind us, ¡°I know this is a little off topic, but¡­ Andrian, the name of that human child you were looking for again? I only just thought of this. The name was Falyn, wasn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°It was.¡± Andrian stepped forward as he answered and pulled me close from behind. I hadn¡¯t realized that I was still on edge until I felt myself relaxing against him. I knew that no one here intended to harm me, but I¡¯d been terrified they¡¯d insist on sending me back. I was defective, so I wouldn¡¯t have blamed them if they¡¯d said I wasn¡¯t good enough. Even though they raised no real objections, I¡¯d been holding that tension in me the whole time. ¡°I think Ras was about to tell you this anyway, but Falyn is the one I¡¯ve been searching for and¡­ well, since Falyn was sent in his sister¡¯s place, everyone kind of agreed that it would be fine if I took Ras¡¯ place. You know, um, noble for noble, general for general.¡± Andrian looked somewhat flustered as he explained to them, a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

    ¡°Oh, is that so?¡± Luxania studied the two of us for a moment. I stood timidly before her, wondering what she was thinking, while Andrian supported me from behind. Eventually, she offered me a soft smile and asked, ¡°I suppose congratulations are in order then?¡±

    I was the one who answered her, with a sheepish smile and a nod. I squeezed the arms that were wrapped tightly around me, savoring the secure feeling they gave me.

    ¡°Is no one concerned about my broken heart over here?¡± Rastari interrupted. I wasn¡¯t sure, but I thought he might just like being the center of attention, since no one would believe he was heartbroken over me.

    ¡°Broken heart, my ass,¡± Harlow answered him, ¡°You¡¯ve spent the whole trip bitching about having to join with some delicate human female. You¡¯re probably overjoyed to be free to continue fucking your way through every tribal village you can find.¡±

    Rastari¡¯s white teeth shone bright against his dark skin as he smiled wide and held out his hands in a gesture of defeat. ¡°You caught me. I¡¯d be lying if I said I wasn¡¯t pleased with the results. But I have to admit it hurts my feelings a little to be told my betrothed prefers the company of another.¡± He struck a dramatic pose to demonstrate his sincere sorrow and no one felt the least bit sorry for him. Accepting his time in the sun was over, Rastari sat down by the fire and put his feet up on a crate near his chair. ¡°But I think we can safely say that we¡¯ve somehow ended up with a best case scenario in this. We got what we came for and more, plus our darling little Andrian found the human that we were all beginning to think he imagined.¡±

    I looked back at Andrian after Rastari¡¯s last remark, and he explained, ¡°You¡¯d been gone for ten years and you disappeared right before everything started going wrong. I¡¯ve spent a lot of time being told that you were probably dead and that I needed to give up, and a lot of people actually thought I made you up. When I was given a position amongst the attending generals, it was expected that I would fail and finally be forced to give up. To be honest, I had already resigned myself to never seeing you again. I couldn¡¯t believe it when you appeared before me at the Palace, which was the last place I thought I¡¯d ever find you.¡±

    ¡°He had us asking around the slums for you while we distributed the food,¡± Garwal explained, ¡°No one would¡¯ve believed you¡¯d be inside the Palace since we weren¡¯t looking for a noble. I¡¯ll admit, whether you were real or not, I thought Andrian was crazy to keep searching for you all these years. I can¡¯t believe he actually found you.¡±

    ¡°But are you really okay with all this?¡± Luxania asked me with genuine concern in her voice. ¡°I know you were forced into this position and choosing someone you know over a complete stranger makes sense, but how do you feel about the bo¨C¡±

    ¡°Luxania, there are still some things I haven¡¯t had a chance to explain to him and I¡¯d appreciate it if you left that alone,¡± Andrian interrupted her with a hint of anxiousness in his voice.

    Luxania¡¯s eyes narrowed. ¡°You haven¡¯t told him?¡±

    ¡°I will, I just don¡¯t want to put undue pressure on him right now. All in good time,¡± Andrian answered her, obviously wanting to avoid the subject she was bringing up. I, on the other hand, was very interested in what Luxania was asking. Was this about Andrian¡¯s mate? He hadn¡¯t told me about them yet, but wasn¡¯t he trying to spare me by waiting until my situation was more secure? If that was the case, I wished he wouldn¡¯t. It would only be harder on me if I got used to having him around. If I was going to be abandoned, I wanted to know in advance. I looked fixedly at him, trying to decipher what he was thinking. He looked uncomfortable under my gaze, as if he was caught doing something wrong, which only fueled my worries more.

    ¡°From the looks of it, you should tell him sooner, rather than later,¡± Luxania told Andrian, her disapproval evident, ¡°I don¡¯t think it will change anything, but he has a right to know, don¡¯t you think?¡±

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    ¡°I agree with what you¡¯re saying Luxie, but I don¡¯t think now is the time for that conversation,¡± Thoma cut in, looking unconcerned, ¡°It¡¯s something between the two of them, not the lot of us.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t even know why I bother, really. You males are always taking each other¡¯s sides. I¡¯m just trying to look out for someone who apparently has no one else to look out for him.¡± Luxania looked pointedly as Andrian as she said that.

    It was at that moment that Coraggio and Shidah caught up to us, and walked into the large command tent. The subject was dropped, much to my dismay, and the eight beast generals moved on to discussing plans for returning back to their homeland.

    It didn¡¯t take long for everything to be decided. The army would start breaking down their camp and get ready to depart immediately after having lunch, at the final movement of ascent. While the plans were being made, Andrian mentioned our invitation from the Lady Carlotta, which was met with what I could only describe as delight from the other generals. It seemed that she was the one who originally approached the Beastlands about creating a peace treaty between the two nations. Officially, it was the Beastlands that approached Vrayna to begin the peace talks, but unofficially, Lady Carlotta was the one who started the conversation by sending a letter to an old acquaintance on the council of elders for one of the villages. Despite the assumption that humans and beasts had no contact for hundreds of years, the reality appeared to be quite different. The eastern ducal family of Vrayna had kept contact with the beasts over the years, dating back to the times before the borderland was created. It appeared I wasn¡¯t the only human who had ventured past the borderland over the years.

    The conversation from earlier still nagged at me and my anxiety festered in me throughout the course of the morning. While they discussed travel, locations for camp, and the visit to the eastern ducal house, I thought about what Andrian wasn¡¯t telling me over and over and over again. The only conclusion I could come to was that he was avoiding telling me that he already had a mate and that he was only marrying me out of pity and duty. Andrian acted like his normal self, randomly caressing me and holding my hand, but I couldn¡¯t bring myself to respond to his affection. I didn¡¯t push him away, but I didn¡¯t lean into his touches as I usually did. I was pretty sure he could tell something was off but he didn¡¯t pressure me about it. He just idly touched me and gave me worried looks as I tried to keep my emotions hidden behind the calm mask I was so used to wearing. I wished he¡¯d trust me enough to tell me about whatever it was.

    After a brief lunch of cured meats, cheeses, pickled vegetables, and flatbread, which I was told was standard fare for traveling beasts, we got back on our horses and left Luz Dorada behind. From there we had to pass through the farmlands and the massive forest, before we would enter the eastern duchy in about three days'' time.

    I rode with Andrian, sitting in front of him on his horse again, but this time, we traveled with an entire army at our backs. Passing through the farmlands, I saw the cows again, but the magic of seeing a creature I¡¯d only heard about in books was gone. They were still fascinating, but after everything that happened in the past few days, they didn¡¯t seem like that big of a deal anymore. I still enjoyed listening to their low mooing noises though. Andrian kept a tight hold on me as we rode, but he seemed to sense my mood and didn¡¯t make any attempts at talking to me as we rode on through the endless fields.

    After the farms, we entered into the forest and only stopped when the sun began to disappear below the horizon. While the army set up its camp, I waited on the side, watching them building the tents and starting the fires. I wished I could be of help, but I would have had no idea where to start. I¡¯d never used a tent and the only fire I¡¯d ever started was in the hearth of my childhood home. So I simply watched them as they worked, feeling more and more useless as time passed.

    Andrian came to fetch me once he¡¯d finished setting up our tent and I followed him over without complaint. I was hoping that he had been waiting for us to have some time alone to talk. I wished more than ever that I could ask him what was on his mind, but all I could do was follow him obediently and hope that he would tell me of his own accord. He told me we¡¯d be joining the other generals for dinner and I had time to wash in the nearby stream and change my travel clothes before we ate. I accepted his offer and allowed him to guide me to the stream.

    Lightly washed and freshly clothed, I felt refreshed. I hadn¡¯t realized how tiring it was to ride a horse for a whole day, having been too poor for one when I was younger. The cold water on my face woke me up from the trance I¡¯d fallen into. I realized I¡¯d spent the whole day practically ignoring Andrian and felt a little guilty. Even if there was something he wasn¡¯t telling me¡­ To me, he was still my savior and he didn¡¯t deserve having me treating him that way.

    While I was washing myself with water from the stream, he¡¯d sat on a stump next to a patch of trees, quietly watching over me. I made my way over to where he sat and stood in front of him, gazing down at his face in the twilight. He looked up at me hesitantly, not reaching out to me, but not shying away from me either. I lifted my hand and stroked his cheek. Closing his eyes he leaned into my caress, savoring the gentle touch. Tentatively, I reached out with my other hand and pulled him forward so his head was leaning against my chest. I gently pet his head, offering him what little comfort I could.

    ¡°Please don¡¯t be angry with me,¡± I heard him say in a muffled voice. ¡°I promise I¡¯ve never lied to you or anything like that. There¡¯s just something I¡¯m a little nervous about telling you. Please¡­ I just need a little more time to build up my courage. But it won¡¯t hurt you to not know it, I swear.¡± He raised his head and looked at me through watery eyes that begged for my understanding.

    His desperate looking face was too much for me to bear. I¡¯d made him feel so badly when he¡¯d done nothing wrong. If it was about his mate, I could wait until he was ready to explain. It was fine. In fact, I didn¡¯t mind waiting some more. I wanted to pretend that he was mine for just a little while longer.

    Holding his face in both hands, I gave him a faint smile before placing a gentle kiss on his lips. His eyes were open as I pulled away, gazing into mine intently, as if he was searching for something. He stood up, forcing me to look up at him to maintain our eye contact, and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close to him, our eyes still searching each other. It was an incredible intimate pose and I suddenly felt shy in front of him.

    He brought the hand that wasn''t wrapped around my waist to my reddening cheek and guided my head those extra couple inches forward to seal my lips with his. I opened my mouth to him and quickly found my tongue tangled up with his. The hand on my cheek slid around to hold the back of my head and I gave myself over to his embrace.

    The kiss deepened and I wrapped my arms around him, stroking his back at first before gripping onto his clothes as he turned us around and leaned me against a nearby tree. In the still forest, the only sounds that could be heard were the rustling of our clothes and the sounds of our gasping breaths as we clung to each other.

    As the sun finished setting, we continued to kiss and he tentatively slid his hand under my shirt caressing my skin directly. When I first felt his warm, rough palm on my back, my breath caught in my throat, and my instincts told me to push him away, but I tried to bury those feelings and held onto him tightly. It was scary, but his hands on my bare skin felt so good that I didn''t want to stop him.

    When I didn''t reject his touch, he began caressing my back all over, deepening our kiss even more. It almost felt like he was trying to eat me, as teeth and tongues collided in a fevered frenzy. Completely letting go of my inhibitions for a moment, I let him press our lower bodies together, before noticing something hard was nudging my stomach through his pants.

    The feeling of him excited and ready against me sobered me up instantly and I began struggling to escape his embrace. He released me as soon as he felt me trying to get away, and for a moment, we both stood there, inches apart, panting as we tried to catch our breaths. My mind and body felt at odds with each other as I struggled to calm myself down. The aching feeling I felt in my lower regions told me that I¡¯d been enjoying it as much as he had, but I couldn¡¯t get over the mental block that told me I needed to escape the situation, that part of myself that told me these feelings would lead to fear and pain.

    He drew in a ragged breath and, in a voice barely above a whisper, he said, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I won¡¯t do anything else. I forgot myself for a moment because it felt so good to have you in my arms.¡± He placed a final kiss on my swollen lips. ¡°We should head back. I didn¡¯t mean to keep you out here for so long.¡±

    After a deep, calming breath, I nodded and shakily followed him back to the camp.

 Chapter Seventeen

    Dinner in the beast camp was a raucous event, full of shouting, laughter, and a large quantity of alcohol. I thought perhaps they might have been a little wilder than normal, relieved to be out of sight of the human population. There were no tables, nor any sort of order to the madness, and people simply sat or stood as they pleased, sharing food from many common pots filled with soups and stews. I sat with Andrian and the other generals around a large fire, eating a hearty bowl of rabbit and mushroom stew. It was creamy and greasy, and it warmed me up inside.

    The generals who had been in attendance at the Palace were all choosing to refrain from drinks, the memory of the morning¡¯s hangover still fresh in their minds. I sipped on a hot mulled drink made from pears, a common fruit in the eastern region of Vrayna. Its light sweetness was a perfect compliment to the rich rabbit stew, and I slowly savored it, staying mindful of my low tolerance. Andrian sat at my side, occasionally chiming in on the conversations being had around us. I listened to them absentmindedly, enjoying the company and warm atmosphere around me.

    Towards the end of our meal, Shidah and Luxania came to sit near us, saying they had something to discuss with me.

    ¡°Falyn, I¡¯ve heard from Shidah about the hypnosis that human mage used upon you,¡± Luxania said to me, jumping right into it. ¡°This might be none of my business, but I think you could benefit from some time with one of our shamans. Your experience with the Prince¡¯s empath intrigues me and I believe additional treatment could help you find your voice again. Even if it didn¡¯t, you could probably benefit from the treatment in other ways.¡±

    Startled by the sudden suggestion, I wasn¡¯t sure how to react. Find my voice again? Could I¡­ could I really do that? It wasn¡¯t that I hadn¡¯t thought of it before, and it wasn¡¯t that I didn¡¯t want to. But I left it behind with everything else, deep in the fog. Nothing I¡¯ve sent there has ever come back.

    But in reality, something had come back from the fog. A memory, long forgotten, had come back to me recently. That dream-like memory of playing with Andrian when I was a child. Somehow I¡¯d retrieved it when I was under Lord Erris¡¯ hypnosis. However, I had no idea how I¡¯d done it, since the memory itself was the only thing I remembered. If I agreed to this, would it be possible to bring back more of my good memories? But then what about all those things I wanted to keep buried? Would I have to remember them too?

    ¡°I won¡¯t pretend that I don¡¯t have other motivations than just helping you recover,¡± Luxania continued, ¡°One day, we¡¯re going to have to confront the humans who committed those crimes, and it would certainly help if our only witness could actually testify to what he saw. Your story could be the key to proving that we had nothing to do with the deaths of those women. Besides, do you really want to spend the rest of your life just nodding at everyone and never getting to have a true opinion? Don¡¯t you want to be able to ask questions, have conversations, tell your loved ones you care? I believe our shamans can help you get better, Falyn, and our motives for helping you are clear enough to be trusted, aren¡¯t they?¡±

    I understood what she was telling me, I really did, and it was no longer a matter of letting my father win. In fact, my voice had become something that could hurt him, and that was a great motivator for me. But I wasn¡¯t sure if I could handle the rest. I was terrified of what lay in the deep fog; the horrible memories of my mother¡¯s final night, my family¡¯s abuse, and the terror that Albrecht inspired inside me. Nothing was ever truly forgotten, but it existed somewhere else, somewhere that it couldn¡¯t hurt me. What if trying to get better broke me even more?

    ¡°You¡¯ve said enough now Luxie,¡± Shidah said, placing a hand on her shoulder. ¡°If it is his desire, he can come to us later. But this isn¡¯t something that can be forced. Let¡¯s leave him to think.¡±

    Luxania nodded, accepting his words, and got up to leave. I didn¡¯t even notice my arm moving, but the next thing I knew, I¡¯d grabbed hold of her arm, stopping her from walking away. She didn¡¯t say anything in response and waited for me to make my next move. Slowly, I nodded at her, trying to make sure that the meaning behind the gesture was clear. Yes, I want to try. I¡¯m so scared, but I don¡¯t want to live like this anymore. I want to be free of the darkness that haunts me. Please, help me.

    ¡°Would you¡­ be willing to come with us right now then?¡± she asked tentatively.

    I looked to Andrian for a moment to see what his feelings were. He gave me an encouraging smile and told me, ¡°I¡¯ll support whatever you decide¡­ But this has to be your choice. I can¡¯t tell you what¡¯s best for you. You have to want to do this.¡±

    I contemplated it for a moment and eventually decided I would follow Luxania. Deep down I knew that I could never be free if I didn¡¯t sever the chains that bound me. If I wanted to be useful, someone that wasn¡¯t a burden to the people around me, I¡¯d have to take this step eventually. So, if it had to happen anyway, it was better to just get it over with. If I hesitated, my fear might overpower my will. I forced myself to stand up, and I gestured for her to lead the way. With a final hesitant look back to Andrian, who remained seated, content to wait for my return, I followed Luxania away from the fire with Shidah¡¯s large form at our backs.

    As soon as I left the radius of the fire, the coolness of the night air hit me and I began to shiver a little. I had put my cloak with our luggage earlier in the day when the sun was high in the sky to warm me. It was mid spring now, and the cool nights would soon give way to the oppressive, lingering heat of summer. I realized that in a few more moon cycles it would be ten years since I was taken from my home, which meant that at some point in the past few weeks, I had reached twenty four years. The only time my birthday had been mentioned by anyone during that time was when I was forced to attend that banquet to ¡®celebrate¡¯ my eighteenth year. I had seen no point in remembering it otherwise, since there was no reason to celebrate another year of waiting to die.

    But now? Maybe Andrian could celebrate the day of my birth with me. Maybe we could eat good food and do something nice together. I wanted to hope for such things, but self deprecating thoughts nagged me, telling me I wasn¡¯t worthy of that kind of happiness. Is it really okay to hope for these things? I wondered, Do I really deserve to even wish for something like that? My resolve to continue on the path down which I was being led grew stronger. I was finally experiencing what being surrounded by kindness felt like, and I wanted to repay that debt in any way I could. I wanted to be worthy of their kindness, and more than anything, I wanted to be someone Andrian could feel proud to have at his side.

    I allowed myself to be led to a tent on the far edge of the camp, away from the rowdy beastmen and their abundance of honey mead. Luxania gestured for me to follow her into the tent. Obediently I entered behind her. The inside smelled of an earthy, sweet smoke, which was coming from an incense tray in the corner. There were a couple of small stools in the center of the tent, only a foot high, with a small square wicker table in the middle. Next to the incense tray was a small fire with a pot of water brewing above it and the other corner had a small bed made up of thick blankets laid directly atop the dirt floor. On one of the small stools, there sat an unusual looking beastman, with wide, round glassy looking eyes and a thin hooked nose.

    ¡°Greeting,¡± he said in a soft, somewhat nasally voice, ¡°I am Estra, apprentice to the great shaman of the traveling owls. Come closer, so I can get a good look at you.¡± When I stepped forward, he immediately stood, and shoved his face up, a little too close to my own for comfort. ¡°Hmmmm, interesting. I daresay I¡¯ve never seen a human up close before. You don¡¯t smell all that different, but you certainly look different than we do¡­ I digress, though. Perhaps another time, I could ask you some questions and perhaps examine you?¡± The owl beastman named Estra stood, at most, a hair over five feet tall. Looking down from so close, I realized what I thought was hair was actually down-like feathers growing from his scalp. Not waiting for an answer, he continued, ¡°I¡¯ve been given a brief explanation of your troubles, as well as the results of that charlatan¡¯s attempts at so-called hypnosis treatment. It¡¯s a miracle he didn¡¯t do any harm, that old fool. You don¡¯t try something like that for the first time on an actual patient!¡±

    The owl beastman seemed to think very little of Lord Erris¡¯ abilities. He humphed and complained for a bit before ushering Luxania out, citing that the rest was a conversation for him and I to have alone. Once we were alone in the tent, he indicated for me to sit, before ladling some of the boiling water into a teapot and selecting a cup from a small shelf on the wall.

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    ¡°It¡¯ll take a few moments to brew,¡± he explained absently, as he sat down across from me. ¡°You are unable to speak, is that correct?¡± Once I¡¯d given my affirmation to his question, he continued, ¡°Very well then. I am going to ask you some questions and all I need you to do is indicate yes or no to them. Your answers will remain confidential, unless you desire otherwise. Do you understand?¡±

    I nodded yes, I understood. I could imagine what type of questions awaited me and I didn¡¯t look forward to it. However, his first question surprised me.

    ¡°Are you aware that you most likely used magic to partition your mind?¡±

    I immediately shook my head no. I honestly had no idea what he was talking about. I didn¡¯t know anything about magic, let alone how to use it.

    ¡°When someone experiences a trauma, one that is too great for them to bear, their minds can react to that trauma in a number of ways. I understand you were witness to something extremely traumatic for you, then you were subsequently kidnapped and subjected to ever more mistreatment that spanned over the past ten years?¡±

    I felt a stab of panic that made my stomach drop as he asked that. I hadn¡¯t been prepared for him to jump straight to that from his first question. I managed a quick nod and focused on keeping my breathing steady. I had to try to face this. It was only a simple question he asked, I couldn¡¯t falter so quickly.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I ask for confirmation only to ensure my understanding of your situation is correct. I won¡¯t ask about any of the details at this juncture. It is enough to acknowledge what you need to overcome. Now, as I was saying, when you experience something like that, there are a lot of possible actions and reactions that could occur. One of those is to magically partition one¡¯s mind in order to create a detachment from situations and memories that could be damaging to your conscious mind. I must admit, I¡¯m somewhat impressed that a human could manage to create such a partition. It actually takes quite a bit of personal magic to accomplish something like that. Though, if I understand correctly, you spent time in the Beastlands when you were a child, did you not?¡±

    I nodded my agreement to what he was asking. However, the time I spent there wasn¡¯t a lot. An afternoon here and there, no more than once per moon cycle. But over the course of around four years, I supposed that it would be quite a few visits if I added it all up.

    ¡°Your, uh, friendship with the young lion could also be a factor. Your country sealed off most of their magic when the borderland was created, so it could be reasoned that you have more magic than most because of your contact with the magic that exists in the Beastlands. To be honest, I think you had absorbed enough magic through your visits that you were capable of creating a mental partition in your time of greatest need. I doubt you would have had any magic left after that, but to have absorbed that much magic in such a short period of time? I believe you might be capable of using proper magic if you were to live in the Beastlands full time. Which, I believe is exactly what you¡¯re going to do now, isn¡¯t it? So tell me, would it interest you to study shaman magic? I¡¯d be happy to find you a teacher once you¡¯re settled.¡±

    I nodded enthusiastically at the idea. If I could do that, I would have worth to the beastmen, wouldn¡¯t I? I wondered if it would really be possible for me to use magic. It seemed like something out of a fantasy book to me, even though it was something very common to the beastmen.

    ¡°Good. Now, think about that goal whenever you get nervous before a session, understand? My offer is genuine, but it¡¯s also a part of your treatment. Shamans need speech to be able to cast their spells. You won¡¯t be able to start learning until you¡¯ve made progress with your treatment. I won¡¯t lie to you and claim that it will be easy or quick, as the speed of your progress depends on you. What we need to do is empty out that partition in your mind and release everything you¡¯ve hidden away back into your conscious mind. Your voice should naturally come out with the last of it. And please understand, where this could be as easy as it sounds, it could also be a process that takes years. It all depends on your willingness to face whatever it is that you couldn¡¯t face in the past. I hope having a clear goal will help you with facing these things head on. I¡¯ll admit I¡¯m also curious to see if I can help create the first human shaman in over five hundred years. Your people weren¡¯t always incompetent in magic, but they sealed away their potential because of fear and misunderstanding.¡±

    I wondered how accurate the history books I¡¯d read were. They all said the borderlands were created to protect us, both from the magical monsters and the raiding beastmen. I wonder what the history books would say in the Beastlands. I guess since they don¡¯t have a written language, it would be the bards and elders passing down the stories through oral tradition. Either way, I feel like they would tell a different tale.

    ¡°Tonight,¡± Estra continued, ¡°I don¡¯t wish to do anything more than get a sense of your energy and mental state. So far, I believe that you¡¯ve heard this referred to as magical hypnotism. That isn¡¯t entirely inaccurate, but it¡¯s inaccurate nonetheless. I can¡¯t really blame them, as you¡¯ve had nothing but laypersons and a charlatan who relies on old diaries to label it. What we will be doing is called trancing. I¡¯ll use my magic to guide you into a place within yourself where you can face your demons in a space designed to keep you safe. We call it trancing because you will be put into a trance-like state for the duration of the treatment. Any questions?¡±

    I shook my head to indicate that I had no questions.

    ¡°Good, because you couldn¡¯t ask them anyways,¡± he said and chuckled at his own joke, seemingly unconcerned about whether I¡¯d be bothered by him laughing at my expense. I wasn¡¯t bothered, but I was surprised that someone in his position would speak to his patients thusly. Once he was done laughing he poured me a cup of the well steeped tea from the teapot, and told me, ¡°Drink up. There are special herbs in here to make the trancing easier for your mind to accept. Once you¡¯ve drank some of the tea, go lay down on the bed there. I¡¯ve got a couple things to prepare.¡±

    I took a sip of the tea and winced at its bitter taste. I recognized the flavors of valerian and chamomile, but there was an additional ingredient that gave off a bitter and herbaceous flavor that I couldn¡¯t identify. After a few sips, I felt a light drowsiness come over me, making my limbs feel heavy and my mind fuzzy. I could smell more smoke in the air and realized I could hear soft chanting coming from Estra, who was twirling a stick of sage around, wafting the smoke throughout the small tent.

    I moved over to the bed area and lay myself down. The soft blankets were enough to make it comfortable, despite being placed upon a patch of hard earth. Estra continued chanting as I adjusted myself and waited until I was settled in before the chanting ceased and he approached me where I lay with what looked like a handful of stones.

    ¡°Are you comfortable?¡± he asked me. Once I¡¯d confirmed that I was, he began explaining, ¡°These are stones imbued with my magic. I will be placing them on parts of your body to aid in opening you to the treatment. The first stone goes on your stomach to bring you courage to face your fears.¡± As he said this, he placed a dull pink stone on my navel. Its weight was insignificant, but I felt something powerful coursing through me as it was placed on my supine form. ¡°The second is placed in the center of your chest, and it serves to open your heart to accept the love you deserve and give freely the love that you have.¡± He placed a glossy purple stone in the center of my chest. Again, I felt a rush of energy enter me and spread through my body. ¡°On your throat, I will place the third stone. Even if you cannot speak your mind in the physical world, this will enable you to speak your thoughts and feelings freely when you enter your subconscious.¡± He placed a flat, round, dark green stone on my throat. ¡°Finally, I will place the fourth stone on the center of your forehead to open your mind and your third eye. As a human, your third eye is blocked by the weaknesses of your kind, but the stone will aid you in receiving my magic. First, I will guide you into the trance-like state I mentioned before, but then I will leave it up to you where you wish your mind to go. For tonight, we are testing the waters, so you don¡¯t need to go searching for any trauma or regrets. In fact, merely existing in that state will do. While you are tranced, I will simply follow your energy patterns and imbue you with some gentle healing magic. We can leave the rest for another night. Understand?¡±

    I nodded that I understood and he placed the final stone, a blue rock with a grainy flat bottom and crystals growing out the top, on the center of my forehead. When he placed it down on my brow, just like the other stones, a wave of energy ran through me. For a moment, it seemed like everything had fallen silent, but then I suddenly felt myself becoming more aware of my surroundings than I¡¯d ever been before. The feeling of my clothes against my skin, the earth beneath me, and the sage smoke in the air. Everything around me was heightened, from the air flowing in and out of my lungs, to the sound of Estra¡¯s blood pumping beneath his skin. I felt tingly from head to toe.

    ¡°Interesting¡­¡± Estra muttered, ¡°It seems that the crystal has partially opened your third eye. I can sense your magic through the stones, and it flared up the moment I placed the crystal down. That¡¯s an excellent side effect, I must say.¡±

    I was just happy to know there was nothing wrong with me. Strange, however, that I could sense everything around me with perfect clarity, but I couldn¡¯t hear anything of the world outside the tent. I wondered if he had put up some sort of barrier, or if there was a limited range to what could be sensed.

    ¡°Now,¡± he said from above me, ¡°close your eyes and we will begin.¡±

 Chapter Eighteen

    I awoke the next morning in the tent I shared with Andrian, hearing the sounds of birds chirping and an army preparing to move camp. The night before, Estra had chanted me into a trance and I didn¡¯t recall anything after. I didn¡¯t even know how I got back. For some reason, I didn¡¯t feel particularly concerned about it. Whatever had happened, I felt lighter, refreshed, and somehow unburdened.

    Andrian was still asleep next to me, wrapped in the blanket, with his mane spread out around him on the pillow. I watched him as he slept, feeling peaceful and content. After I¡¯d enjoyed laying next to him for a while, I carefully reached a hand across to stroke his head, smiling softly at how innocent he looked. After a couple of caresses, he lazily opened his eyes to look at me.

    ¡°Mmmm good morning,¡± he said as he stretched his body out, ¡°I think that¡¯s the best wake up anyone¡¯s ever given me.¡± Done with his stretching, he lay on his side facing me and pulled me close. He placed a gentle kiss on my nose and sighed, ¡°Aaah, I don¡¯t want to get up. Let¡¯s just stay like this for today. We can catch up to them later. No one would miss us anyways.¡±

    I chuckled silently at his childish request and shook my head. Freeing myself from his warm embrace, I sat up first and grabbed his arm to pull him up. I pointed to him and then at myself, then gestured to the door of the tent. Andrian sighed again but stopped struggling to lay back down.

    ¡°Alright, alright,¡± he groaned and got up from the mattress we¡¯d slept on. ¡°C¡¯mon, if I have to get up, you have to get up too.¡±

    I grabbed onto the hand he extended and let myself be pulled to my feet. Hand in hand, we left the tent and went back to the stream to wash ourselves. The morning air was chilly and the water icy cold, but it woke me up almost instantly. Once we were refreshed, we rejoined the army for breakfast. Those who had already eaten were busy tearing down the camp and getting ready to depart. Despite their disorderly appearance, the beast army was efficient and worked well as a team.

    The owl beastman Estra from the night before was seated near one of the cooking fires with Shidah and Luxania, and they looked like they were having a serious conversation. Seeing us approaching, their somber mood broke. They greeted us and invited us to join them. It was then that I found out that Estra had orchestrated it so that I would fall into a deep sleep when I was brought out of the trance, and Shidah had carried me back to my tent. It was a very odd feeling, to know that I hadn¡¯t worried at all about what had happened to me while I was unconscious. I¡¯d naturally assumed that these strangers took good care of me, and I realized that I felt safer here, a human among beastmen, than I ever had with my own people.

    Andrian went to get food for us, which was being served from a collection of giant common pots. Next to the pots was a giant metal grate that had been placed above a wide and low fire, with some kind of dough being grilled atop it. When he returned, Andrian had two bowls of wheat boiled in goat¡¯s milk, topped with berries and nuts, as well as some misshapen pieces of a dense fire grilled flatbread that was drizzled with honey and still warm. Once we had eaten our fill, we packed up our luggage and got back on the road.

    Three more days and nights pass that way. We rode hard through the day and camped for the night in whatever clearings could be found in the large, overgrown forest. There was a lone pathway through the thickets, wide enough for the beastmen to ride in threes, but it was ill suited to being camped on. The knights that brought me to the capital had only been twenty men at most, so we hadn¡¯t encountered any issues in finding areas that could accommodate us. However, the army that I traveled with now was at least a hundred strong. Finding a large enough clearing required sending scouts ahead in all directions and a lot of careful planning. Usually by late afternoon we would have to dismount and begin making our way to the nearest clearing, sometimes having to split up for the night.

    For my part, I spent my days riding with Andrian as he slowly taught me how to handle the reins. By the third day, I was the one leading our horse through the sea of trees before us, down the path to the Eastern duchy. The forest got even thicker as we headed east, lusher and greener, and it reminded me of my childhood. I found myself waking each morning with more memories coming back into my mind. So far, they were all good memories, the ones that I didn¡¯t want to remember because they reminded me of what I had lost, not because they tormented me. The ones of Andrian and his father brought me joy, but the ones of my mother were bittersweet for me. I ached for her loss more than I had ever allowed myself to before. As I recalled our times together, it began to hurt more and more to know she was never coming back. Perhaps a part of me never really accepted she was gone, or maybe this was the beginning of the grief I¡¯d suppressed being released back into my consciousness. But bittersweet or not, I savored every one, and felt like some of the broken pieces had been put back into place.

    Each night after dinner, I went back to Estra¡¯s tent to continue my treatment. The ritual was the same each time; I would be put into a trance in his tent at the far end of the night¡¯s camp, then wake up in my own the next morning, feeling well rested and content. After only four nights with him, so many of the details of my first fourteen years had become clear memories in my mind again. Each one felt both familiar and foreign to me, like something I¡¯d always known and simply forgotten about for a while. But I was still afraid of the other memories and felt conflicted about whether I was ready for them or not. Estra hadn¡¯t pushed me to look at them yet, assuring me everything in good time, and that I should be proud of making any progress at all in such a short period of time.

    On the fourth morning, the forest gave way to fields again, and we began making our way to visit the Lady Carlotta at the eastern Duke¡¯s estate in Shelfort. I heard from casual conversations over the cooking fires that there were a couple monster attacks while we were in the forest, but the seasoned beast warriors had dealt with them so swiftly that I never even noticed the disturbances.

    We rode past farms and endless fields filled with crops and livestock. The owners of the farms watched the army as it passed them by, eyeing us warily but not overly concerned, since the army had passed through without incident on their way to the capital as well. Once we¡¯d passed the farms, we began to enter into areas that were familiar to me from my youth. We weren¡¯t heading for the village I grew up in, which was further to the south, but I¡¯d visited the eastern city of Shelfort on more than one occasion with my mother when we needed supplies.

    We traveled around the edge of the city, as the narrow streets weren¡¯t equipped to handle such a large number passing through. As we passed through the slums on the outskirts of Shelfort, one of the wagons and about ten of the beastmen stayed behind for food distribution. Andrian explained that they had brought enough food along that they could leave enough staples behind to keep the people fed through the winter. The poor of Shelfort had suffered the worst through the war. The human army had plundered the city¡¯s grain houses season after season, leaving their own people to starve so they could have sufficient supplies while they raided and invaded the Beastlands. I felt sick to my stomach hearing about it.

    We continued on to the southern Duke¡¯s home, located to the east, past the city and on our way to the borderland. Like my father¡¯s home, the ducal house was a sprawling manor that was beautiful and luxurious. It was surrounded by a brick wall and had a wide gate for visitors to enter through. The guards at the entrance welcomed us, warned in advance of our intended arrival, and instructed us on where to go. They directed the bulk of the army to the back of the house, indicating they would find the barracks where they could rest there, and informed us that we could choose six people to continue on to the main house. Andrian and myself were to attend by default, as the ones who received the invitation. Luxania, Coraggio, Thoma, and Rastari were selected to accompany us. With the bulk of the army no longer at our backs, the six of us proceeded to the house.

    The gardens of the estate were beautiful, filled with colorful flowers and stone paths on which one could walk. I caught a glimpse of a large pond near the center, with benches placed around it, and a large gazebo off to the side. With spring in full bloom, the gardeners were out working in the afternoon sun, trimming, and planting. They looked up at our passing but paid little attention to us otherwise. Eventually, we reached the main house and it seemed that our arrival had been reported in advance, as the eastern Duke and his family awaited us on the staircase that led to the main door.

    The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    For just a moment, I felt fear welling up in me, remembering the night I was delivered to my father¡¯s door. Just like then, the Duke stood with his wife and child watching our arrival. Unlike back then, I was riding atop a horse with people I could trust at my back, not bound in a wagon in the custody of the Duke¡¯s men. The eastern Duke stepped forward as we were dismounting to greet us.

    ¡°Welcome!¡± he called out with a smile on his face, making his way down the stairs towards us. The blond haired Duke was young and jovial, and I forgot my initial fear with his warm welcome that didn¡¯t remind me of my father at all. ¡°I¡¯m Lukas de Shelfort, this is my wife Shannah and my son Louis. It¡¯s a pleasure to have you visit our home. My mother will be so pleased that you came.¡± As he spoke, he indicated to the woman at his side and the young boy who stood with them. He shook hands and offered his greetings to Coraggio, Thoma and Rastari, before planting a kiss on Luxania¡¯s hand and finally turning to greet myself and Andrian.

    ¡°Julien de Ramport, I presume?¡± he asked me, extending his hand to me. I nodded and shook his hand as the generals had. ¡°And this must be the fianc¨¦e, General Andrian, if I remember correctly."

    ¡°Ay, that¡¯s me,¡± Andrian replied to him, ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to meet you face to face. I¡¯ve heard a lot about the work that your house has put into helping us end the war. You have my gratitude.¡±

    ¡°Ah, your gratitude isn¡¯t needed. The house of Shelfort has been friendly with the Beastlands for years. We never supported the war to begin with, but the southern and western houses convinced his Highness the King, regardless of our protests.¡± The Duke shook his head, looking somewhat sheepish. ¡°I''m afraid that, since my father¡¯s passing, the power of the eastern duchy has been forgotten by the Royal family, other than his Highness, the First Prince.¡±

    I smiled awkwardly at his upfront statements, and Andrian didn''t seem to know how to respond to the Duke either. His good intentions were clear, but neither of us were involved in politics enough to have an opinion.

    ¡°We have much to discuss with you regarding that, actually. I gained permission from your Prince Elantro to fill you in on the details of the rather delicate situation we''ve found ourselves in. We can chat about it after dinner.¡± Rastari cut into the conversation, drawing the Duke¡¯s attention away from us. ¡°I don¡¯t know how much your mother¡¯s told you, but I can guarantee she was missing a good chunk of the story.¡±

    I could tell by the way he was speaking to him that Rastari liked the Duke and his honest countenance, quite a bit more than he did the First Prince. He casually put an arm around the Duke¡¯s shoulder, and they began walking up the stairs to the house, chatting like old friends. The other three generals were quick to follow behind him, and the Duchess Shannah approached Luxania hesitantly, clearly not knowing what to make of the much larger woman who didn¡¯t wear a dress or look at all like how she thought a lady should.

    Andrian and I began to follow behind but I felt something tugging at my sleeve as we reached the stairs. Looking down I saw the young Marquis holding on to my shirt. He looked to be around five or six, with his father¡¯s blond hair and shining violet eyes.

    ¡°Wanna be my friend? We¡¯re both the son of a Duke, so we should be friends and tell each other secrets. I¡¯m Louis.¡± The little boy beamed up at me and waited expectantly for my response. It was clear that he had no idea I couldn¡¯t answer him. I was hesitating on how to respond to his overtures, but Andrian came to my rescue before things got too uncomfortable.

    ¡°Hey buddy,¡± he said, crouching down so he was at eye level with the boy. The kid¡¯s eyes widened as he was awestruck by the large beastman suddenly talking to him. ¡°I bet he would love to be your friend, but he can¡¯t tell you that because he doesn¡¯t talk.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­¡± The little boy seemed to think hard about this for a moment before he asked us, ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°He lost his voice and hasn¡¯t found it yet. But I know everything he¡¯s thinking, so if you have any questions, you can ask me.¡± After Andrian said that, I gave him a dubious look and raised an eyebrow. He laughed and followed up with, ¡°See, right now he¡¯s thinking that there¡¯s no way I can really do that.¡±

    The little boy giggled at his explanation then asked, ¡°What kind of animal are you?¡±

    ¡°Hmmm¡­ I better not tell you,¡± Andrian said with mock seriousness, ¡°You¡¯d probably be really scared of me if I told you.¡± I was glad to see he wasn¡¯t bothered by the child¡¯s rude but innocent question. I knew it was a sore point among the beastmen that humans considered them animals.

    ¡°Noooo! I won¡¯t be scared! I¡¯m really brave and I like big scary animals!¡± The boy jumped up and down to show us how certain he was, tugging away on the sleeve he was still holding onto.

    ¡°Louis!¡± The others had reached the door and were looking down at us. The Duchess had noticed her son lagging behind at the foot of the stairs and called out to him, ¡°What are you doing to our guests? Are you troubling them?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not doing anything, I promise. But he said I¡¯d be scared if he told me what kinda animal he is. And I¡¯m telling him I¡¯m not a scaredy!¡± The Duke and Duchess flinched a little when Louis said the word ¡®animal,¡¯ but the beastmen smiled at the child¡¯s enthusiasm.

    ¡°Hey Andrian,¡± Coraggio called out with a somewhat devious grin, ¡°Why don¡¯t you show him?¡±

    Andrian looked to me for my permission first, before he looked for the Duke¡¯s. Having received it from both of us, he grinned down at Louis and asked, ¡°Wanna see?¡±

    Looking like he might pass out from excitement, Louis nodded his head enthusiastically. Andrian took a few steps back from us and a lion appeared where he¡¯d just been standing. Louis let out a high pitched scream, but it was undoubtedly a shriek of joy not terror. Andrian roared at him causing more shrill noises to escape the little boy before the lion was suddenly a man again. I could hear the laughter of the other generals ringing out from above.

    ¡°It¡¯s time to go inside now,¡± Andrian informed Louis, ¡°You¡¯re making your mom wait for you.¡±

    Louis nodded and ran up the stairs, glancing back at Andrian multiple times as he did. Following behind him, I felt a little melancholy. Something about that joyful little boy chasing after his mother gave me a stinging feeling in my chest. I didn¡¯t begrudge him his happiness, but I felt a longing for the happiness that had once been my own. Andrian wrapped an arm around my waist as we slowly walked up the stairs, and planted a kiss on the top of my head. At that moment, I couldn¡¯t help but wonder if he really did know what I was thinking, because those simple gestures of comfort were exactly what I was needing.

    We were led to the dining hall where Lady Carlotta awaited us. Everyone exchanged greetings with the vigorous old lady and soon the servants began to bring out plate after plate of delicious steaming food. I soon had a heaping plate of lamb, roasted potatoes, and vegetables, plus a side plate with a light flatbread served and a dip made of blended beans and herbs. Everything was delicious and I regretted not having enough appetite to eat more. The beastmen feasted unselfconsciously, and even Luxania was able to eat more than me. I assumed they must have higher metabolisms than humans, as the Duke and his family didn¡¯t eat any more than I. The dinner topics only covered lighter subjects, appropriate for having a child at the table. Louis was a bright and outgoing boy, who was very excited to meet so many beastmen. I found myself feeling at peace in my surroundings and enjoying the lively atmosphere.

    Soon Louis was sent to bed and the adults adjourned to a sitting room near the dining hall. The servants set out a few bottles of a popular eastern spirit made from distilled flowers called fiore, and an assortment of pastries for us to snack on. Once done, the servants exited the room, closing the doors behind them. The Duke suggested we make ourselves comfortable and gestured towards an enormous horseshoe shaped couch that surrounded the table with the drinks and desserts on it.

    Once we were seated, the Lady Carlotta retrieved a tray of tiny crystal glasses from the mantlepiece on the wall and began pouring drinks for everyone, playing the part of hostess perfectly. The Duchess either didn¡¯t mind having her role usurped, or perhaps she was just used to it. Either way, she sat back and allowed her mother in law to serve their guests like she was still the lady of the house. Or perhaps she still was. The spry old lady didn¡¯t seem like she would have taken well to retirement.

    ¡°A toast!¡± she announced once she had served everyone with one of the tiny glasses, each only containing a mouthful of the fiore. ¡°To that damn stupid war being over and to new beginnings and opportunities.¡±

    Everyone offered their cheers and downed their glasses. When the potent liquor hit my throat, I nearly choked from how strong it was. I¡¯d never tasted an alcohol like this before and it burned its way down into my stomach. After the initial shock wore off, it left a sweet, floral taste in my mouth that reminded me of lavender and roses. I immediately felt a rush of warmth creeping up my cheeks.

    Lady Carlotta chuckled lightly at my sputtering and my swiftly reddening face. She waited until I had regained my composure before she got straight to the point. ¡°So tell me, how did it come to pass that the boy General Andrian was searching for turned out to be the son of that offensive jackass of a Duke?¡±

 Chapter Nineteen

    ¡°Mother!¡± the Duke exclaimed, looking scandalized by her candor.

    ¡°What? We¡¯re all dying to know. We¡¯ve all heard the rumors that the Duke was searching for his heir ten odd years ago but once he was found, that heir was never seen nor heard from again. And now, he reappears like this?¡± Lady Carlotta clearly saw no flaw in her behavior, despite her son¡¯s protests.

    ¡°Well, the short version of that is he disappeared because his father found him and he reappeared because his father used him to protect his sister. The rest was lucky coincidence,¡± Andrian answered her curiosity as simply as possible.

    ¡°That¡¯s not the story I want to hear and you know it,¡± she responded huffily, ¡°I can put two and two together on my own. But that was quite an extraordinary coincidence, don¡¯t you think? I certainly think so. One that has an interesting story attached to it. Now, do an old lady a favor and tell me how it happened.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know where to start, really,¡± Andrian answered awkwardly, ¡°When he disappeared, I had no way to look for him. I had no idea what had been happening on the other side of the borderland and then the war started. Well, anyway, Falyn was from Rovette to the south, and¡­¡±

    He trailed off and was looking across the table with a curious look. The Duchess sitting across from us made a small noise and quickly moved to cover her mouth with her hands. She had gone pale and was looking at me wide eyed.

    ¡°You¡­ you couldn¡¯t be¡­ Simona¡¯s son?¡± she asked me with an indecipherable expression.

    Confused, I nodded, and the Duchess burst into tears at my response. Her reaction only added to my confusion. The Duke, however, seemed to be putting something together in his mind.

    ¡°Shannah, is this what I think it is?¡± he asked her, watching me with interest.

    Nodding her head, the Duchess took a deep breath to compose herself. ¡°Falyn¡­ I doubt you¡¯d remember me, but I used to care for you when you were a babe. Your mother did the same for me before she went to live in the south. But, what happened to you? I¡­ I thought you were dead¡­¡±

    The shocked Duchess, it turned out, was the girl my mother paid to watch me while she worked back when I was still too little to be left untended. She said that she¡¯d looked for me after she discovered my mother had passed, but had found nothing but dead ends. The villagers back then were more concerned with investigating a murder than with helping her search for a boy who was old enough to take care of himself.

    Duchess Shannah, I was told, was born a commoner and came to the Duke¡¯s mansion nearly fifteen years before as a maid. She was originally from Rovette and knew my mother well. Her story had turned out a lot better than my mother''s, as she actually found love with the kind Duke who had chased her around the house in his youth. I wondered how different my life might have been if my father had been a decent person, someone like the eastern Duke.

    The rest of the story unfolded from there. Again I was intrigued to discover that, where I could bear to hear my story from the mouth of another, I panicked when I was the one who had to answer. Perhaps noticing the change in my scent whenever I was spoken to directly, the beastmen did their best to tell my story for me. It was missing parts, to be sure, but the parts they told were accurate enough, and I was relieved to not have to answer too many questions.

    When the extent of my father¡¯s crimes was revealed, the whole ducal family was in an uproar. They''d always assumed the string of murders to be the act of a single, sick individual, and human or beastman mattered not to them. Knowing that those acts were committed by a group of men who claimed to be knights, and were endorsed by a member of the nobility no less, was unforgivable to them. Especially considering that they might have done it all with the goal of plunging two nations into war.

    ¡°The problem, of course,¡± Lady Carlotta acknowledged after a time, ¡°is that the only witness can''t testify to what he saw. The poor boy can''t even answer a single question on his own. How will Prince Elantro proceed with this without evidence?¡±

    ¡°Well, we''re working on that,¡± Rastari explained, ¡°Your Prince is reinvestigating the other murders to see if they can find something based on the new information he has to work with, and we also believe that our shamans can help Falyn with his situation, we just don''t know how long that will take.¡±

    ¡°Your shamans? Hmmm.¡± Lady Carlotta looked neither impressed nor concerned by this.

    ¡°Falyn has already had a few sessions with one of the shamans who journeyed with us,¡± Luxania added, ¡°From what I¡¯ve been told, there has already been progress. Estra can only guess so much, since Falyn can¡¯t properly describe what he¡¯s feeling, but he says the progress is evident from his energy and that we just need to be patient.¡±

    Lady Carlotta looked at me consideringly before turning to Andrian again, ¡°Well, I guess we can say all¡¯s well that ends well to your part in this. You found your bonded mate and he consented to going back to the Beastlands with you. At least something good can come from all this nonsense.¡±

    The table grew very quiet after her last statement. Bonded mate? I wondered as I looked to Andrian. He looked like he was willing himself to disappear and didn¡¯t make eye contact. When I looked around the table, I realized that none of the beastmen were willing to make eye contact with me. Is this about what he¡¯s been hiding? But why would she think that I¡¯m Andrian¡¯s mate? Isn¡¯t there someone else waiting for him?

    ¡°Oh my,¡± Lady Carlotta said, having the courtesy to look embarrassed. ¡°I believe I said something I shouldn¡¯t have¡­ well, it¡¯s not like it should be a secret to begin with, so I have no idea what you¡¯re all looking so awkward about.¡± Regaining her composure immediately, she tried to justify her slip of the tongue.

    ¡°It¡­ was a conversation I thought better left for later¡­¡± Andrian answered, still not looking up from the floor. His cheeks were flushed and he looked somewhat chagrined.

    I looked around the table, feeling bewildered by Lady Carlotta¡¯s words, as well as Andrian¡¯s response to them. The Duke and Duchess looked as puzzled as I, and Lady Carlotta had clearly learned her lesson about thinking before she spoke, as she didn¡¯t seem to have anything else to say on the matter. The beast generals were all very interested in their hands, except Luxania, who was watching me carefully for my reaction. I felt frustrated that no one was telling me what was going on. Turning back to Andrian, I tugged on his sleeve and gave him a pointed look.

    ¡°I know, I know. Haah. This wasn¡¯t how this was supposed to go. I wanted to talk to you once we were back home and you¡¯d settled in a bit,¡± Andrian tried to explain himself, looking as sheepish as he had when Luxania had brought this up before. ¡°Can we please wait until later? It''ll be tonight, I promise, but not in front of all these people.¡±

    Seeing the awkward desperation in his eyes, I nodded to his request. Besides, if he was about to tell me that Lady Carlotta had the wrong idea, I really didn¡¯t want an audience for that. Do I dare hope she¡¯s right? She can¡¯t be though. They were trying to warn me before that he found his mate as a child, so she must be mistaken. And what does bonded mean anyway? Feeling conflicted, I accepted waiting until we¡¯d retired for the night to have that conversation.

    After that, there wasn¡¯t much left to say regardless. For the next hour, we shared a few more drinks while the generals, the Duke and Lady Carlotta shared theories and planned for as many potential possibilities as possible. I couldn''t even try to listen as my mind wandered back to the words ¡®bonded mate.¡¯ Will this be the end of the dream? Will he tell me that she had it all wrong and that he has a mate waiting for him in the Beastlands? But¡­ maybe he won¡¯t. What if he says his bonded mate is me and that he won¡¯t abandon me? I wanted to believe it was possible, but I couldn¡¯t. There was no way things could work out like that for me. Hope hurts. Don¡¯t get your hopes up. You¡¯re someone that even your own father couldn¡¯t love. You don¡¯t deserve him. You¡¯re a failure. A disappointment. Such thoughts repeated themselves in my mind until it was time to retire for the night. We adjourned from the sitting room and were directed to the guest rooms, located in the north wing of the house. I followed Andrian to the room we would share, not daring to hope, but wanting to hope, and hating myself for it.

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    ¡°I¡¯m not sure where to start,¡± Andrian said to me, running a hand through his thick mane and looking uncomfortable.

    We¡¯d walked to our room in silence, and the only words Andrian had spoken before now was a thank you to the servant who¡¯d guided us. Not knowing what else to do, I¡¯d sat down on the edge of the bed and watched him with a dispassionate gaze. I didn¡¯t dare expect anything from him, but I needed to hear whatever it was that he was keeping from me. The beastmen already knew, and the Lady Carlotta seemed to have heard some things as well. It felt like the only person in the dark was me and that fact had started to weigh on me. No matter what he was about to say to me, I was willing to accept it. He¡¯d done so much for me that the least I could do would be to respect his feelings in this.

    ¡°I guess the first thing would be¡­ do you know what bonding is?¡± he asked me hesitantly.

    I shook my head to indicate I didn¡¯t. I knew what the word bond meant, but I had a feeling this was something completely different.

    ¡°Beastmen, we aren¡¯t like humans. We look similar to you and we eat, sleep and breathe the way you do, but at our cores we are different. We have evolved from animals and into human form, but we were still animals first,¡± Andrian began explaining to me. ¡°I think the others told you before that we find our mates based on scent¡­ It¡¯s not something I can easily describe. It would be like explaining red to someone who only sees in shades of gray. But it¡¯s like there¡¯s an incomparable scent that everyone gives off, humans included. Your nose can¡¯t smell it, but ours can, and from a single smell, we know whether or not we could mate with someone.¡±

    So far I understood what he was saying, but I absolutely couldn¡¯t relate. I nodded for him to continue and he thought for a moment before proceeding.

    ¡°These smells we give off, pheromones, can be¡­ manipulated to a degree. We can use them to mark our territory, for example. Sort of like leaving behind a personal scent. A beastman¡¯s home will always smell like them. That is the most commonly accepted way they are used. Otherwise, they¡¯re just like an extra criterion for a mate. Humans look for appearance and personality in a partner, yes? We do too, but we care more about scent.¡± He stopped again, took a deep breath, and continued a little more nervously, ¡°Anyways, we can identify our potential mates through the smell of their pheromones. It¡¯s not a guaranteed true love kind of thing, more like a nudge in the right direction. But if you find that perfect someone, something called bonding can occur. Sort of like claiming them as your person with your scent, like you claim your home as your space. It¡¯s supposed to be done mutually, of course, and not all mated pairs are bonded. Most aren¡¯t, actually.¡±

    I was beginning to feel impatient as he explained this all to me. I felt like he was overexplaining to stall for time. I wish he¡¯d get to the point already. If I¡¯m to be rejected, it would be easier to just get it over with quickly.

    ¡°Anyways,¡± Andrian continued on, ¡°I don¡¯t think dad ever told you this, but my mom died when I was only a couple years old. My dad wasn¡¯t around much in my early years because of his work. When my mom passed, there wasn¡¯t any family that could take me in, so dad came and brought me out to his cabin on the western border. He was a ranger and he¡¯d been assigned to the far west outpost to keep an eye on monster activity near the borderland.¡±

    Ah, so that¡¯s why they lived so far out. I¡¯d never thought to question their existence in that isolated cabin before. It seemed like a warm and happy home, and that was all I¡¯d concerned myself with until now.

    ¡°It was incredibly lonely out there. Sometimes, when dad had to go off into the forest for a while, I thought I might go crazy from the lack of companionship. But the hardest part was that I couldn¡¯t bring it up with him because I knew there was nothing he could do about it¡­ And then, one day, you appeared in our forest, crying and lost on the wrong side of the borderland. You became my first friend and you saved me from my loneliness.¡± Andrian¡¯s eyes showed the first signs of tears welling up, but he seemed to be fighting to resist them.

    I never knew any of this. His dad never brought it up¡­ and he couldn¡¯t tell me himself. He was still a cub, he didn¡¯t have a human form to speak with. My complete empathy for his situation back then tugged at my heart. I knew better than anyone what it was like to have to keep everything inside because you have no way to express it. I also knew all too well what loneliness felt like.

    ¡°When I was younger, I thought you were like a brother to me. A gift sent to me from the heavens to help me endure. The times you came to visit are some of my happiest memories. But, as I got older, the feelings I had for you began to change. I reached twelve years of age, the beginning of adolescence for a beastman, a few moon cycles before your disappearance. Something was changing inside of me and¡­¡± he trailed off for a moment, and I felt my heart drop.

    Something changed? Did his feelings for me change, or did they go away? But, they couldn¡¯t have gone away, or he¡¯d have never come looking for me.

    Andrian turned to face the wall, avoiding looking at me as he continued to speak, ¡°I realized that you weren¡¯t a brother to me anymore¡­ you were someone I wanted as my mate. I know we were only kids, and I knew you didn¡¯t feel the same, but I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. And somehow, during your last visit, I bonded with you¡­ you became my one, the only person I will ever long for in this world. But it was a one sided bond, a bond created by the ignorance of a child, not mutual consent, and then you disappeared before I could even take human form and be able to tell you what I¡¯d done or how I felt.¡±

    My heart was throbbing in my chest. I didn¡¯t dare to believe my own ears. If what I heard was real then¡­ Could it actually be true? Does he¡­ does he really want to keep me?

    ¡°I didn¡¯t want you to feel pressured,¡± he continued, ¡°that¡¯s why I didn¡¯t tell you until now. I know humans only mate as men and women, and that you only ever saw me as a little cub. I couldn¡¯t show up in your life after all this time and burden you with that, especially not after what you¡¯ve already been through. Plus, you didn¡¯t ask for me to bond with you... I might have been young and clueless about it, but I still marked you as mine without you knowing.¡± Carefully, he sat down on the bed next to me and took my hand. ¡°Falyn, since before I was old enough to understand what it meant to have a mate, you¡¯ve been the only one for me. Waiting and wondering all these years nearly drove me mad. I was so scared that you knew I¡¯d bonded with you and didn¡¯t want to see me again. I was afraid you might have been killed in the war or that I¡¯d see you among the invaders. I was afraid you hated me but I still worried if you were okay. You were the only thing I could think about for almost ten long years.¡±

    Even though I knew it wasn¡¯t my fault, I felt a twinge of guilt as he said that. I didn¡¯t like knowing that he¡¯d suffered because of me. If only I could have found a way to escape that night. He¡¯d have been the one I ran to if I had.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± he said with his eyes downcast ¡°I feel like I tricked you. You were just happy to see an old friend and you were in a tough situation. I took advantage of that to make sure you wouldn¡¯t disappear on me again.. and I keep pressuring you in other ways too, because I want you to feel the same¡­ I just hope you don¡¯t hate me too much now that you know what a selfish, awful person I am.¡±

    No! I could never hate you! I didn¡¯t understand any of this. After all this time, when I¡¯d given up hope and almost completely forgotten about him, he was still thinking of me. He didn¡¯t come to find me because I was his childhood friend, but because he considered me his mate. How could I ever hate him for that? Tears began streaming down my cheeks as he said all these wonderful things that I never dreamed I¡¯d get to hear.

    Finally looking back at me, Andrian¡¯s eyes widened at the sight of my tears. ¡°No, no, don¡¯t cry. I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m so sorry!¡±

    I squeezed the hand that was holding mine and shook my head. No, you¡¯re misunderstanding. You have nothing to be sorry for. I¡¯m just so happy that the tears escaped on their own. I reached across with my other hand and touched his cheek. I gently stroked his face and gazed up at him, willing him to understand my feelings. Slowly, his face relaxed and he looked deeply into my eyes.

    ¡°You don¡¯t hate me?¡± he asked cautiously.

    Not knowing how else to reassure him, I impulsively pulled him down by his collar and planted a quick kiss on his lips. I smiled shyly and raised my eyebrows to him. Does that answer your question?

    Letting out a shaky breath, he leaned his head on my shoulder and whispered, ¡°I love you. I¡¯ve loved you since we were little. You are my mate, my bonded pair, and I want to spend every moment until the day I die by your side. It¡¯s in the wrong order but¨C¡± he moved off the bed and kneeled in front of me. ¡°Falyn, would you consent to being mine? Will you spend your life with me?¡±

    Tears welled up in my eyes again. All of the emptiness, all of the loneliness, and all of the fear inside me disappeared with his words. Even if I was broken, damaged goods, he still thought I was worth something. He loved me. He wanted to be with me. No matter how rushed it was, and even if it was in the wrong order, I wanted to spend my life with him.

    I barely got a chance to nod before he pounced, pressing our lips together again.

    ¡°You can¡¯t take it back later,¡± he warned me, ¡°Now that you¡¯ve agreed to it, you¡¯re mine. I¡¯ll chase you to the ends of the continent and across the sea if I have to. You¡¯ll never be able to escape me. I¡¯m going to love you until you can¡¯t take anymore.¡± As he spoke, he rained kisses all over my face, making me giggle and squirm in his arms.

    I think I might have already fallen in love with this man¡­

 Chapter Twenty

    The gentle kisses to my cheeks and face were soon being planted on my lips instead. First it was soft chaste kisses, but when I didn¡¯t pull back, the kisses became deeper. I opened my mouth to him and his tongue quickly invaded, tasting every inch of me that he could. My heart pounded violently, refusing to calm down, and I clung to him for dear life as he plundered the inside of my mouth. I heard a sharp inhale from him and suddenly I was moved onto his lap, straddling his legs with my own.

    ¡°How does this keep happening?¡± he asked as he finally pulled back to let me breathe, ¡°I really didn¡¯t plan on doing this until you were ready¡­ but how do I know when to stop when you never push me away?¡±

    I knew my behavior was inconsistent. I didn¡¯t want to push him away, yet I knew what the end result would be if I didn¡¯t. I wanted more. I wanted to touch him, to make him feel good, to show him that I was his. I also knew I wasn¡¯t ready for that yet. There were too many demons in my heart for me to give myself over to those feelings.

    ¡°Falyn,¡± he crooned as he started licking and sucking at my neck, ¡°You need to push me away now, don¡¯t you?¡± His actions didn¡¯t match his words as he bit down gently on my collarbone and began rubbing my thighs with both hands.

    I found myself caught in an agonizing position. I wanted to stop him before it became too much for me, but I also didn¡¯t want to stop him at all. His hands came to rest on my hips, and he leaned his head on my chest exhaling ragged sounding breaths. Eventually, he looked up at me, and the hunger in his eyes was almost frightening. He slowly licked a line up my neck to my chin while looking at me with that hungry gaze. I shuddered both from fear and anticipation.

    ¡°How am I supposed to stop myself when you look at me like that? Hmmm?¡± he asked before stealing my lips again. It was a sensual kiss that started with a long, slow meeting of our lips but quickly devolved into a frenzied mix of teeth and tongue. At some point, I tasted blood as he bit and chewed my lips, but I felt no pain, lost in the thrill of the moment. I didn¡¯t try to pull away until I felt his hands move from my hips to my backside, trying to somehow pull me closer. That was the moment when my mind cried out, too much, and a wave of panic and fear overtook me. I frantically grabbed at his hands to stop them from moving anymore. He obediently released me and let me move his hands away.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± he said with a chagrined look, having broken away from the kiss when I grabbed his hands. ¡°I keep pushing you when I know you¡¯re not ready... Let¡¯s just call it a night. We should get to sleep before it gets too late.¡±

    I felt so helpless. I didn¡¯t want to end it like that. He went to remove me from his lap, but I shook my head and held onto his shoulders so he wouldn¡¯t lift me off. Yes, it was scary when he touched me. I knew he had no intention of harming me, but there was something inside me that reacted instinctively when he touched me in certain ways. But¡­ maybe if he doesn¡¯t put his hands on me like that then we could keep going a little. Maybe it¡¯ll be okay if I touch him instead.

    I took both his hands and firmly placed them at his sides on the bed before holding his face in my hands and capturing his lips with mine. I felt him raising his hands, perhaps to embrace me, perhaps to stop me, but I grabbed his wrists and pushed them back to his sides. Pulling away from our kiss, I gazed down at him silently. He looked back at me hesitantly, clearly not knowing what I was thinking.

    ¡°A-Are you telling me to keep my hands on the bed?¡± he asked with an uncertain voice.

    I nodded and released his hands. I moved my mouth to his neck, trying to mimic how he¡¯d kissed my neck earlier. I began sucking and licking, tentatively at first, before I grew confident and began nibbling on the tender flesh.

    ¡°Mmmm,¡± he let out a soft moan, struggling slightly as he fought his instincts and resisted the urge to move his hands. From my position on his lap, I could feel his excitement pressing into me, but still, he gently protested, ¡°Hah, Falyn, you don¡¯t have to push yourself. I can wait til you¡¯re ready.¡±

    I bit down firmly gently and felt him go still. His hands gripped the sheets tightly for a moment, but they stayed where I¡¯d put them. Watching him struggle to obey me brought on a bizarre mix of emotions, but I realized I felt safer being in the one in control. I pulled away from his neck and met his heated gaze.

    ¡°I get it,¡± he breathed, ¡°I¡¯ll be a good boy and just sit here. You can do whatever you want.¡±

    I smiled, having heard exactly what I wanted to hear. I stole his lips again, and wrapped my arms around his neck. He returned my kiss with enthusiasm, but he didn¡¯t do anything to escalate it. He was leaving everything up to me. I took the initiative to slide my tongue into his mouth and it was immediately entangled with his. I gripped his hair tightly, exploring his mouth and his breathing got heavier. His lower half was straining against his pants, pressing into me, begging for my attention. Releasing his hair, I slid my hands down his chest, caressing him through his clothes.

    ¡°Haaaah,¡± he groaned as I pulled away from his mouth, his hands gripping the sheets tight. I ran my hands gently back up his torso, feeling his heavy breaths and pounding heart through my palms. I found myself groping and rubbing his chest and shoulders, enjoying the sensation of his warm body under my hands. I could feel him trembling slightly from the effort he was putting into restraining himself, but it only served to make me want to touch him more. I trusted him not to let go of the sheets and I was enjoying watching his reactions.

    Raising my body a little I slid my hands downward, tracing a path down his stomach, and then lower, moving further down, to where he was straining against his pants. I traced his length with my fingertips, from the base to the tip, and he shuddered at the sensation.

    ¡°Aaahhh,¡± he sighed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. Emboldened by his reaction, I started rubbing him up and down with my whole hand, feeling frustrated by the fabric in my way that prevented me from getting a solid grip.

    ¡°You know,¡± he gasped, opening his eyes to gaze at me as if he wanted to devour me, ¡°it¡¯s easier without the pants in the way.¡± As soon as he finished speaking, I began fumbling with the button of his pants, and he lifted his hips so I could pull them far down enough for his erection to spring free.

    Seeing him naked and ready caused me to freeze for a moment. I began to question the wisdom in my choice as I stared down at his hardened member, which was twitching and eager from my previous caresses, and unquestionably dangerous in appearance.

    ¡°Yo-You can just stop here. I shouldn¡¯t have said that,¡± he uttered in a pained voice. I could see both his desire and his regret written clearly on his face. But even now, his hands were still at his sides. Even in this state, he said we could stop. He¡¯s being so careful with me. But I don¡¯t want it to end here either¡­

    I gingerly reached out and gripped his exposed flesh, drawing another moan from him as I did. Watching his face carefully, I rubbed his length up and down. I wasn¡¯t sure what I was supposed to do, having never even touched myself before, but he seemed to be enjoying what I was doing. Pressing my forehead against his, I met his eyes. From up close, I could see his desires reflecting in those eyes, begging me to let him eat me up. I tightened my grip and began moving my hand faster.

    ¡°Mmm¡­ hmmm¡­¡± he whimpered, his body incredibly tense as he fought to keep still for me. His knuckles were turning white as he desperately held on to the sheets and I could see a clear liquid had begun to leak out from his tip.

    Realizing he was getting close, I started using both hands to further stimulate him. His skin down there was so soft and I could feel the veins that decorated his length pulsing underneath the skin. He began gently thrusting upwards, pushing himself closer to release.

    ¡°Mmm¡­ so good¡­ I¨C I¡¯m¨C¡± I cut him off before he could say anymore, stealing his lips and preventing him from speaking. No longer holding back, he twisted and tangled my tongue as he moaned into my mouth, the veins in his arms popping up from the strength with which he was gripping the bed.

    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

    I continued my movements, stroking him harder, faster, until he threw his head back and cried out as he exploded over my hands and our laps. Looking down at the cloudy liquid that had spurted out, I felt a sense of accomplishment that my clumsy efforts had successfully brought him to the height of pleasure.

    Once he¡¯d caught his breath and as his excitement began to dissipate, he lazily whispered into my ear, ¡°You look like you were enjoying that too¡­¡±

    I looked down and the heat rushed to my face as I realized he was right, that I was hard and ready, creating a tent in my pants. Once I was aware of that, I also became aware of the throbbing feeling of desire that had swelled up in my lower regions. But that would go away on its own, I was sure.

    ¡°You sure you don¡¯t want me to take care of you too?¡± he asked me, ¡°That looks like it¡¯ll be uncomfortable if you leave it.¡±

    I shook my head to tell him no. One step at a time. He didn¡¯t press me anymore than that. Sure enough, my body soon calmed down and I started feeling sleepy.

    Using a small wash basin that was left on the dresser, Andrian swiftly cleaned us up and bundled me in a blanket, before laying me down on the bed. After turning off the lights, he lay down next to me and spooned me in his arms. I felt peaceful and satisfied.

    ¡°Hey you,¡± he said softly from behind me, ¡°You¡¯re really alright?¡±

    I nodded my head, knowing he would still be able to see my movements in the darkened room. I was surprised by how alright I was, actually. I¡¯d always associated sexual contact with pain and fear. I¡¯d honestly never felt the urge to touch myself or anyone else before. But this wasn¡¯t just anyone that I had touched. It was the person who told me he loved me, who made me feel secure, who I knew wouldn¡¯t cause me pain.

    More than anything, I had wanted to express to him how much he meant to me and how much his words and actions had already healed me. Only one moon cycle previous, I had thought my life would be nothing but a constant cycle of abuse and fear that would only end with my death. I¡¯d always told myself that maybe I could escape someday, but I¡¯d never believed it was actually possible. And now, not only did I have hope for the future, I also had someone who was willing to love me and be good to me for the rest of my life.

    ¡°I¡¯d been so afraid you¡¯d hate me or that you¡¯d reject me once you knew the truth,¡± he confessed to me. ¡°You don¡¯t know how grateful I am that you''re willing to accept me. I¡¯ve loved you for so long that I can¡¯t imagine ever loving anyone else.¡±

    Tears came unbidden to my eyes at his words. I was the one who should be thanking him, not the other way around. Maybe I was ignorant in the ways of the world, but I couldn¡¯t understand why he thought I¡¯d be mad at him or hate him. I understood that the bonding he spoke of was supposed to be mutual, but he was just a child that didn¡¯t know any better, and I wasn¡¯t a beastman anyways. Whatever pheromones he ¡®marked¡¯ me with wouldn¡¯t affect me as a human living in human land. Perhaps if I was a beastman like him, then I might feel upset. But as it was, I was kind of happy to know that I was marked to the other beastmen as his.

    As if reading my mind, he spoke on a similar train of thought, ¡°I wish there was a way to make the bonding mutual, so everyone would also know I¡¯m yours. But it still makes me happy to know that anyone who gets too close to you will think twice about it.¡±

    I really do wish that there was a way for me to bond with him the way he bonded with me¡­ I wonder if it''s possible. He did say humans have those pheromone things, and we just can¡¯t sense them. However, in all likelihood, something like that wouldn¡¯t be feasible. Maybe someday, I¡¯ll be able to ask someone about it. My desire to keep seeking treatment was strong in that moment, and I thought facing my fears might be a small price to pay.

    ¡°Hey, you wanna detour south on our way back?¡± he suddenly asked me, ¡°Dad would probably love to see you again. He helped a lot in getting me here.¡± At his suggestion, I felt the corners of my mouth lift up and I nodded. Satisfied, Andrian continued talking idly, telling me more of his story. ¡°It took me a while to finally tell Dad what happened, after you stopped coming. He tried to help me, but after what happened to your mom, it became impossible for him to do anything that involved the humans. Things were pretty scary back then, actually. We ended up having to leave the cabin for our own safety. It wasn¡¯t that bad when there was only one victim, but as the years passed and the bodies piled up, it became more and more dangerous to get close to the borderland.¡±

    I knew the basics of how the war started at this point, but I¡¯d heard very little details about the years that built up to it. It made me sad to think that Andrian and his father had been forced to leave their home. I hated knowing how lonely Andrian had been when he was living there, but they¡¯d done nothing to deserve being driven out like that.

    ¡°It started with the vigilantes, villagers who formed militias to protect their people. At first they only guarded the human side of the borderland, which was understandable if they suspected our side. But then they started guarding from inside the borderland, and eventually right at the edge of our territory. It took nearly a year for them to get that far, but that¡¯s when things got worse. More women on your side were dying and the vigilantes'' form of retaliation was crossing the border to look for fights. They had already murdered a couple of the other rangers by the time we left. Soon after, they started raiding the small western villages, taking our females to ¡®teach us a lesson.¡¯ After a couple more years like that, the vigilantes were replaced with soldiers, who claimed they were invading for the sake of ¡®justice,¡¯ and they had far more efficient and brutal methods of attack.¡±

    Andrian paused for a moment. I could feel his breath on my neck as he squeezed me tight for a moment. It was almost too tight and I struggled to take a full breath. He buried his face in the back of my neck for a moment, and inhaled deeply. Satisfied, he loosened his embrace before he began speaking again.

    ¡°I was around sixteen when the war officially started. By then, we¡¯d already figured out that the humans weren¡¯t going to leave us alone and our defensive line was ready. Our soldiers had spent years on the battlefield, fighting against the monsters of the wildlands, and we outnumbered the human soldiers five to one. We had tried so hard to be understanding of their plight that they mistook our pacifism for weakness. You see, the Beastlands are incredibly vast compared to Vrayna. Some of our villages are the size of your capital city and the trade city would take three whole days to cross if you were to go in a straight line on horseback. If we had wanted, we could have crushed the invading forces through sheer numbers alone. But we didn¡¯t. We didn¡¯t want to be at war. And so we evacuated the western villages and outposts, and we just held the line, thinking that the humans would eventually give up.¡±

    I hadn¡¯t realized the Beastlands were so large. I¡¯d only ever seen maps of Vrayna on its own. There were no maps of the Beastlands in Vrayna, so their numbers and the size of the land was unknown to me.

    ¡°In the second year of the war, when I¡¯d just turned eighteen, I was sent to the eastern front to reinforce the guard on the wildlands. At the time, that¡¯s where the support was needed, and they weren¡¯t sending any of the cat tribes to the western front anyway. Because the cat tribes live near the borderland, and many of us had dealings with humans before the war, we were exempt from that battle. So, instead, I ended up spending the next three years in the east. Turns out I was pretty good at fighting and I got along well with my superiors, so well that when the general above me fell in battle, I was promoted into his position. After that, it was only a few more moon cycles before the peace talk began.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t believe that, while I was wasting away in my father¡¯s home, Andrian was performing such great deeds. I felt a little inferior, but I also felt strangely proud of the little cub who had grown up so well.

    ¡°For the first time, I started telling people other than my dad about the human friend I¡¯d lost and begged my way into the delegation that was heading to your capital. I¡¯d earned my place in battle is how they justified it, but I know they let me come out of pity. Some people thought I was delusional and that I¡¯d imagined you, but dad stepped in and helped convince them. He went to the eastern front with me, to watch over me and fight alongside me.¡±

    My heart strings pulled as he talked about his father. His father had been more of a parent to me than my own had ever been. I was glad to know that he''d been there to support Andrian over the years. I looked forward to seeing him again.

    ¡°I heard from the humans in the capital that the Beastlands have been said to be occupying and tormenting the eastern villages, but the reality is that it was a bloodless occupation that provided them relief from being plundered by their own people. We had figured the best way to achieve peace was to show the humans we were stronger than they thought, so we pushed their lines back, past the borderland and into eastern Vrayna. Once the front line of the war had been pushed to your side of the border, we received almost immediate acceptance of our requests for peace. As for the humans in the areas we occupied, they were so starving and desperate that they didn¡¯t care who we were as long as we had food. Some even hailed us as liberators, despite being the invading army.¡±

    Andrian squeezed me tight again. ¡°The rest you sort of know already,¡± he said, ¡°The eastern villages were under our control and I was given time to search for you. I visited Rovette first, but no one there knew anything, and no one in any of the other villages had heard of you either. I really didn¡¯t expect to find you in the Palace¡­ and it breaks my heart to know how much you¡¯ve suffered because I couldn¡¯t find you sooner¡­¡±

    I gripped onto the arms wrapped around me and squeezed back. There was no way for you to find me sooner. Please don¡¯t blame yourself.

    ¡°I hope that someday,¡± he continued, ¡°maybe I¡¯ll get to hear your voice again¡­ but it¡¯s okay if I don¡¯t. As long as you¡¯re here with me, nothing else matters.¡±

 Chapter Twenty One

    I awoke the next morning before the sun. Andrian was still fast asleep and I carefully liberated myself from his embrace. He still had time to sleep and I had no intent of disturbing him. I quietly found a set of new clothes to wear and found the bathing room that a servant had pointed out the night before. After quietly washing myself and donning the new clothes, I made my way outside, heading towards the gardens. I wanted to take some time by myself to reflect before Andrian and everyone else were awake for the day.

    The sun was just starting to emerge from below the horizon, and the garden was just barely lit by the twilight. The stars were still shining overhead and the moon was faintly visible, a faint and hazy shadow of its former glory. The air was crisp and cold, with enough moisture in the air to leave a faint dew on the greenery. I breathed deep in the fresh air and enjoyed a feeling of freedom as I walked the paths without worry of being accosted.

    The past couple weeks felt like a fevered dream. My father¡¯s decision to send me away and the entire trip to the capital felt like it was a lifetime ago. Yet my time in his home, the horrors and the torment he¡¯d put me through, felt far too close for comfort. I knew in my heart that ten years couldn¡¯t be erased in a matter of days, but I was frustrated with the speed of my own progress. Based on the memories that flooded my mind each morning, I knew I had uncovered a lot in that short time, but it didn¡¯t feel like enough.

    Recovering all these memories has been an incredibly surreal experience, I mused as I wandered along a path that led me deeper into the garden. Each one merges seamlessly and it feels like I¡¯m recalling things that I simply forgot for a moment, not something that was gone for years. But, I suppose none of it was ever actually gone, if I understood what Estra was saying correctly. It was partitioned away from the active part of my mind. Bad memories locked up because I couldn¡¯t cope with the present if I had to cope with the past. Good memories pushed to the side so I wouldn¡¯t long for what was already lost.

    The only new memories I¡¯d seen so far were the ones from when I was younger. Memories of my mother, Andrian, and the life I¡¯d lived before. I¡¯d wake up with those moments in my mind as if I¡¯d dreamed them, and it often took me all morning to come out of my daze and feel like it was all pieced together. I felt a sense of personhood that I didn¡¯t know I¡¯d been lacking, and it made me want more. I wanted to be whole again, even if the process of putting myself back together was going to be painful.

    I¡¯d forgotten what it feels like to want for myself. Hope was dangerous, but wanting things wasn¡¯t even a consideration before. My goals on any given day were a full stomach, not drawing anyone¡¯s attention, and avoiding getting beaten. I¡¯d dreamed of escaping, but I never even tried to create a plan for it. I just imagined I¡¯d escape without any actual thought as to how. Now that I think about it, I know my life there was awful, but I don¡¯t really recall that many details about it. I know my father cursed me and beat me often, but I know it like a fact, not like it¡¯s my own experience. Yet the responses are ingrained in me, like another part of my brain remembers it all with perfect clarity.

    It was a hard concept for me to wrap my mind around. The harder I tried to remember, I realized that the details were obscured in fog. I could remember my room and the time I spent in there, I remembered the fear, and being hungry when I was punished with no food. But whenever I was called to my father¡¯s study, whenever Albrecht managed to corner me, or when my sister brought her knights to beat me as a group for her entertainment¡­ I couldn¡¯t see the details through the fog. I didn¡¯t want to see those details, but yet, at the same time, I did. The inconsistencies in what I could recall had begun to bother me.

    What if this personhood I feel is just a mere fraction of the person I¡¯m supposed to be? How much of myself did I sacrifice to just survive in that place? Before, it didn¡¯t matter if I was complete, because I¡¯d given up on being a person to stay alive. But now, there was someone who loved me, both the person I was and the person I was to become, and I wanted to be complete for him. No, not for him. This is for me. I want to be complete for me.

    I¡¯d survived. I was free from that place. I was safe now. But it would haunt me for the rest of my life if I didn¡¯t come to terms with what I¡¯d lived through. If I had to have nightmares about it for the rest of my life, it would be worth it to take back the parts of myself I¡¯d lost there.

    I want to be able to have a real conversation with Andrian. I want to tell him how I feel about him, and share my story with him. And¡­ I want to be able to do more with him than what we did last night¡­ The sky had taken on a red hue at this point, so even if anyone had seen me, I could have blamed the red sky for my inflamed cheeks.

    I resolved myself to approach Estra and try to find a way to communicate that I wanted to move forward in the treatment. At the same time, an idea came to me that I needed to figure out a way to tell Andrian that I also wanted to stop in Rovette. The idea of going back to my childhood home inspired me with terror, but that terror was a sign that I needed to go there. I needed to go back to where it all started. I felt that knowledge course through me like a beacon leading my way for me as soon as the idea entered my head. I felt dizzy from the overwhelming certainty that this was the path I needed to follow.

    I continued along the garden path, thinking things over. Soon the sun was making its way into the sky and the red horizon had given way to the orange and pink of dawn, before eventually becoming the blue of morning. It must have been getting close to the sixth movement and breakfast would be served soon. The path I''d followed had taken me around the back of the house and close to the barracks. As I began pondering on making my way back, I heard a commotion from up ahead.

    ¡°Hah! Is that all you got?¡± I heard a familiar voice shout, ¡°Come at me in threes if you want any hope of hitting me!¡±

    Coraggio''s voice echoed out through the quiet of the dawn followed by the sounds of men shouting and swords clashing. Coming out from around the hedge, I realized I''d arrived at a training ground for the knights and soldiers of the house. Coraggio was surrounded by a group of young men, grinning ear to ear as he held about eight of them at bay. Farther down the way I could see quite a few of the beastmen were also out for a spar with the local soldiers, all of whom were taking on multiple opponents with ease.

    The Second Prince and my father thought they could win a war against these people. They outnumber us and are far superior in strength¡­ Why would they want to go to war with the Beastlands? Whether they staged the war or just took advantage of the situation caused by my father''s men, they still sought out that war. Why would they want that in the first place? I was completely at a loss to understand their logic. I had to assume there was some underlying reason, but it was beyond my comprehension.

    I watched the mock battles from off to the side for quite some time. The eastern Duke¡¯s men didn''t appear to hold any animosity toward the beastmen and they fought with smiles on their faces. Even the weakest and least skilled among them were impressive to my eyes.

    ¡°Doesn''t it make you a little sad to know that this is how things always could have been?¡± I heard a voice ask from beside me. I looked and saw the Lady Carlotta standing next to me. I''d been so engrossed in watching the fights that I hadn''t noticed her approach. ¡°If only us humans had been a little bit smarter and a little more open, we could have had a mighty ally in the beastmen.¡±

    She wasn¡¯t wrong. Watching the soldiers sparring and learning together, I could clearly see what humanity had given up when we created the borderland and segregated ourselves in Vrayna.

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    ¡°Do you know why the Beastlands insisted on a marriage treaty?¡± she asked me. After indicating I didn¡¯t, she began to explain. ¡°Before the borderland was created and we sealed away both our magic and our relationship with the Beastlands, the beastmen had approached us to open up trade and cooperation. The humans of that time were disgusted by the idea of treating with creatures evolved from animals, so they used a marriage treaty as a decoy to distract the beastmen while they prepared the spells needed to create the borderland. The bride ran away once the spell had succeeded, and humans lost our magic in the process. According to our history books, the beastmen were raiding and threatening us and the borderland was created for protection, but the eastern duchy kept different records with the truth. The beastmen remember the story too. The new marriage treaty, for those who know, was an offer to go back and start again. And I know this well, because it was my idea in the first place. Your hateful father had a daughter of the right age and Rastari was prepared to take her on as a partner for the sake of the peace and pride of his people. He¡¯s got the right temperament to deal with a girl like her.¡±

    I smiled a little at that statement. My sister was cruel and selfish, but she wasn¡¯t particularly smart. She would have been enraged at being forced to marry a beastman, and imagining Rastari scaring her into submission was a very pleasant thought for me.

    ¡°There is no end to my joy in knowing that your father tried to cause us problems but ended up creating a stronger treaty with a much happier marriage,¡± Lady Carlotta continued with a wry smile, ¡°I¡¯d love to hear your story someday. Not the hodgepodge of assumptions and guesses I was given last night, but the real story, from your own mouth. When you¡¯ve had enough time to get there, come see me again. I¡¯d love for us to have a cup of tea and chat.¡±

    I smiled shyly at her and nodded my agreement. I¡¯d like that too, Lady Carlotta.

    ¡°Are you certain you¡¯re really his son?¡± she asked me with a skeptical look, ¡°You¡¯ve got his eyes, but you¡¯re certainly nothing like him.¡±

    I took her words as a compliment. My father wasn¡¯t someone I wanted to be similar to.

    ¡°And did your talk with your handsome general go well last night?¡± She raised an eyebrow at me when my cheeks flushed in response. ¡°I¡¯ll take that as a yes. I must say though, I¡¯m quite surprised that you accepted him so easily. Generally the men of Vrayna react quite poorly to the idea of congress with another man. Yours must have been a very special friendship for it to overcome that... and I do hope you are treating him as sincerely as he is treating you.¡±

    My expression cooled at those words. Her tone had remained casual as she said it, but I couldn¡¯t help but feel like I was being accused of something.

    ¡°No need to look so uppity, my dear. I¡¯m not implying you''re a spy for your father or anything like that. But it would be a shame if you were only using him to escape a bad situation and didn¡¯t actually share his feelings,¡± she said with a pointed look and what I had come to understand was her usual level of candor.

    I relaxed a little, realizing what she meant, and I could see why she might think that. I had to admit that I originally went along with all this because I didn¡¯t see any other way out, but I never intended to use anyone. Besides, the feelings that had taken over me were unmistakable. It didn¡¯t matter if he was a man or a beast or anything else. He was Andrian. He was my friend and savior. He was the person who never gave up on me, even after I¡¯d given up all hope. But I couldn¡¯t tell her any of that, and just shook my head at her to tell her she was wrong.

    ¡°Well, I wouldn¡¯t blame you if you were, anyways,¡± she added after a moment. ¡°These eyes may be old, but they still see a lot. You looked like you might pass out from stress every time someone tried to ask you a question about your father last night. I imagine it was all quite a bit worse than they actually know, wasn¡¯t it?¡±

    I chose to leave that question unanswered and went back to watching the mock battles still raging in front of us. The Lady Carlotta linked her arm with mine and gave my arm a gentle squeeze. She didn¡¯t say anything more. Instead, she stood there holding onto my arm, watching alongside me in silence.

    It wasn¡¯t long before I saw Andrian rushing towards us, coming from the direction of the house. He looked a little frantic as he made his way over, and it was then that I realized my folly. I¡¯d meant to be back to the house before he woke up. I should have woken him when I left. I¡¯m so stupid. A part of me was terrified. I didn¡¯t think he¡¯d hurt me, but what if my mistake made him disappointed in me? Would something like this make him not want me anymore?

    ¡°Falyn!¡± he called out, pulling me into his arms as soon as he was close enough. ¡°You were gone when I woke up. I was so worried.¡±

    I hung my head. I felt terrible. I should¡¯ve woken him up. I should¡¯ve just stayed in the room. Dammit, I really can¡¯t do anything right. I¡¯m such a disappointment. I was afraid to look up at him. If his eyes were full of loathing, I couldn¡¯t bear to see it.

    ¡°Hey, it¡¯s alright,¡± he said coaxingly, ¡°I¡¯m not mad or anything. You don¡¯t need my permission to go out. Come on Falyn, look at me, not the ground.¡±

    I raised my gaze cautiously to his face and saw a face full of concern and eyes that still cared for me. My fears were unfounded, it seemed. At least they were this time. I had to make sure there wasn¡¯t a next time. I couldn¡¯t expect him to be patient with me forever.

    ¡°What are you making that face for dear?¡± Until she spoke, I¡¯d quite forgotten that Lady Carlotta was still standing there. ¡°You look like the whole world is about to end. I once forgot to tell my late husband that I was leaving to the capital for a month and I offered less of an apology than your tormented little face is giving right now. If I¡¯m not mistaken, I¡¯m probably the reason you got distracted anyways. He¡¯s just overreacting.¡±

    Blinking, I looked at the Lady Carlotta, perplexed by her words. She disappeared for a month and her husband forgave her for that? I was also taken aback that she thought Andrian was overreacting. He hadn¡¯t cursed me, hit me, or even gotten mad at me. By my standards, he hadn¡¯t reacted at all.

    ¡°Well, I¡¯ll excuse myself now and let you boys sort it out for yourselves. Remember to come back for that cup of tea, dear.¡± With that, Lady Carlotta began making her way back to the house, leaving me and Andrian alone together at the edge of the training ground.

    Once she was out of earshot, Andrian admitted quietly, ¡°I was worried you were gone because you regretted last night. I was afraid you¡¯d left because you didn¡¯t want to be around me anymore. Honestly, I even wondered if you disappeared again¡­ But I mean what I said. You shouldn¡¯t feel like you need to ask permission to go out. Just because I got anxious doesn¡¯t mean that you did something wrong, okay?¡±

    I nodded. I understood what he was saying, but it was still hard to believe he wasn¡¯t angry. However, he just held me against his chest and didn¡¯t say anything else. I relaxed against him and went back to watching the training. I was surprised by how interesting it was to watch. I wondered how hard it would be to learn to use a sword. I liked the idea of not being helpless. Maybe someone would be willing to teach me at some point.

    ¡°Are you interested in learning the sword?¡± Andrian asked me, noticing my interest in the mock battles going on in front of me.

    I think I would like to learn such a thing, I thought to myself as I nodded to his question. None of the people out there look like victims, even if they are losing the fight. I want to be strong like that too.

    ¡°After the joining ceremony is complete, I could find you a teacher, or even teach you a little myself¡± he offered, ¡°We¡¯ll have a few months of downtime before the human wedding in the capital. We could get you started on learning then, if it¡¯s not too much. I¡¯m pretty ignorant about this stuff, but I feel like maybe you¡¯ll feel better and safer if you can defend yourself. Estra said you were interested in shaman magic too. He told Luxie and she told me.¡±

    I was touched that they were all working so hard to help me. It had been a long time since I felt like I had people on my side. It was a good feeling.

    ¡°We¡¯ll be leaving after breakfast. I¡¯ll let the others know that we want to go south to visit my father along the way. Now that the war is done with, he¡¯s back at our old cabin,¡± Andrian told me with his arms wrapped tightly around me from behind.

    I realized that was my moment, and using a mess of gestures and pointing, I managed to convey that I wanted to visit my old home too. Andrian looked concerned about the idea, but respected my desires and agreed to my request. I was going home.

 Chapter Twenty Two

    We went back to the house and servants appeared to lead us to the dining hall to break our fast and say our goodbyes to the Duke¡¯s household. When we arrived, Luxania and Thoma were already at the table and Rastari arrived soon after. There was no sign of Coraggio, but since he was still at the training grounds when we left, he would likely eat with the soldiers instead.

    With only the five of us in attendance, the enormous dining hall felt far too big. The long dark wood table was large enough to seat at least thirty, and we took up but a small corner of the massive table. While we waited for the Duke and his family to arrive, the servants brought out coffee, tea and juices for us to drink. I poured myself a cup of the coffee and relaxed in my chair. As a clock chimed to indicate the start of the seventh movement, the ducal family arrived and the servants began to bring out our breakfast. Soon the table was laden with a myriad of foods to eat.

    I filled my plate with eggs and fried potatoes, covered it all in a creamy butter sauce, and ate heartily with the others. The conversation was light and friendly, and the young Louis was full of energy, asking the beastmen even more questions about the Beastlands. At the end of the meal, Thoma granted the little one a wish and turned into a giant bear, letting Louis ride him around the massive table. I couldn¡¯t help but notice that most of the beastmen were quite indulgent when it came to human children. Andrian offered to let me ride him as well, but I quieted him with a frosty stare, and he roared with laughter at my response.

    During the meal, Andrian brought up our intentions to go south and cross the borderland in Rovette. The idea was immediately accepted, but Luxania was insistent that we not go alone. A single beastman would be a target for those still harboring animosity, plus she thought there should be more support for me should I react poorly to returning home. We agreed to that readily, and I was quite grateful she considered such things on our behalf. It hadn¡¯t occurred to me at all that Andrian could be in danger traveling with me alone. To me, he seemed powerful and untouchable, but that probably wasn¡¯t how most would view it.

    We finished our food and began to say our goodbyes to our hosts. I exchanged a handshake with the Duke before becoming flustered as the Duchess skipped my proffered hand to pull me into a hug. I was surprised at how small she felt as I awkwardly returned her hug. I¡¯d forgotten that, physically, I was a man grown, despite feeling like I was still a child in front of her. I couldn¡¯t believe this woman had changed my diapers once. It was a little embarrassing, actually.

    She smiled at me, spoke the traditional words of parting, and gave my arms a squeeze before adding, ¡°You¡¯ve grown up so well. Simona would have been proud of you.¡±

    I bowed my head to show my thanks before Louis pulled my sleeve and asked if he could have a hug too. I readily complied and knelt down to give him a far less awkward hug than the one I¡¯d given his mother. Lady Carlotta offered her hand to me and I kissed it, as was expected of me. When I released her hand, she raised it up and patted my cheek the way one would pat a behaved well hound.

    The beast generals all said their farewells, and I realized Louis was demanding hugs of all of them as they passed. The ducal couple looked more than a little embarrassed, but they didn¡¯t try to stop him and neither did the beastmen. Once that was done, it was time for us to meet with the bulk of the beast army and let them know that we would be splitting from the main force to detour south.

    The group going south with Andrian and I was Estra, Luxania, and Shidah. The trip to Rovette would take two days and the trip to Andrian¡¯s home would add another two days at least. Then it would be two more days to get back on course, meaning we would arrive at the trade city six days, possibly a whole week, behind the rest of the army. The rest of the trip would take us just over two weeks. We¡¯d already been traveling for four days and three nights, plus the night spent at the Duke¡¯s. Once we arrived in the trading city, we¡¯d only have a week left until the joining ceremony. It felt both too soon and too far away.

    We set off immediately, heading south to Rovette. This time I was given my own horse to ride, having learned enough to manage on my own. The road to Rovette was filled with increasingly more familiar sights as we continued south. I had traveled to Shelfort only a couple times in my youth and had very little memory of the journeys. But the forested lands of the eastern duchy were uniquely identifiable as home. Each region of Vrayna was known for different types of trees. Here in the east, our trees were large and leafy, and would turn many colors in the autumn. Another day¡¯s travel and we would start seeing fruit bearing trees that would drop peaches and pears around the same time. At this time of year, pink and white flowers would be blooming in the fruit trees and the large leafy trees were a vibrant green as they provided shade from the morning sun.

    As the sun reached its zenith, we came out of the forest trail and began to pass through an isolated village, so small it wouldn¡¯t even be marked on a map. The village was probably poor to begin with, but it had been left entirely destitute from the war. It was so small that it had likely been completely forgotten by everyone. It certainly didn¡¯t look like any of the beastmen¡¯s relief had made it here. The houses weren¡¯t shacks by any means, but they were run down and covered in layers of dirt, like the inhabitants had just stopped caring. The people of the village milled about, a couple wandering aimlessly through the streets but most were just sitting on the ground in the shade of the filthy, untended buildings. Even though I could see the inhabitants in front of me with my own eyes, it still felt like a ghost town. The sickly, thin bodies with no energy left in them all, their dead eyes that pleaded for a release from the suffering, and the stench of imminent death that pervaded around us; it all made me feel like I was walking among the already dead.

    They watched us warily, not knowing if we were merely passing through or if we had come to bring them new miseries to suffer. My heart ached for their hardships. There were no children playing in the streets. In fact, there weren¡¯t any children left here at all. The starving souls didn¡¯t even have the energy left to beg us for food, which we didn¡¯t have much of to give regardless. The beastmen all wore stony faces, but their eyes belied the sorrow they felt for the people of the village.

    This is the result of war. This is what my father and the Second Prince brought onto their own people with their meaningless, useless, and stupid war on the Beastlands. They brought nothing but starvation and suffering to these people. And for what? I still don¡¯t know what this war was supposed to gain. Was there a purpose I¡¯m too ignorant to understand, or was it really fueled by something as ridiculous as hatred? I wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. The despair clung to the air around us, suffocating me. We pushed forward and the village had passed us by in a couple moments, but the sick feeling inside of me didn¡¯t dissipate.

    Once the village was behind us, the invisible tension that held all of us relaxed. Estra immediately handed the reins of his horse over to Luxania and said he would return to us before nightfall. He would go find the main group and get them to send aid to the village. Turning into a giant owl, he flew off into the sky and disappeared into the trees. His flight speed was amazingly fast, so fast it made me question how he could stand the slow progress of on horseback. It seemed the bird beastmen could travel incredible distances in their beast forms, which was why they chose the nomadic lifestyles. When the entire Beastlands could be crossed in a matter of days, there was no reason to settle down in a single location. At least that was how I had it explained to me.

    We continued on without Estra, confident that he would be able to find us later. After we¡¯d traveled for another half movement, we finally stopped for our midday meal when we found a stream where the horses could drink. My thighs and back burned from the effort of riding from morning through early afternoon. Riding alone had turned out to be a lot of work, but I was happy to be doing it. It gave me a sense of independence that I didn¡¯t get from riding with someone else. So I ignored my complaining muscles and went to relax near the stream as I ate.

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    Andrian came to sit with me, while Shidah and Luxania sat on a fallen tree a little ways behind us. Lunch was a collection of simple travel-friendly foods, mostly dried fruit and nuts, with some fresh bread and cheese packed up for us by the Duke¡¯s household. Nobody talked as we ate, what we had seen earlier weighed heavy on us all. The food we had wasn¡¯t enough to help and who knows what could have happened if we¡¯d tried to offer what we had. If there wasn¡¯t enough for everyone, they might have turned on each other. They might have turned on us as well. Starvation can make a person do desperate and illogical things. It was better for everyone to wait for reinforcements to come with enough food to go around. I knew that. But I still felt guilty for filling my stomach instead of theirs.

    And it¡¯s my father who¡¯s responsible for this. No matter how I look at it, it all traces back to him. A realization hit me. The man I¡¯ve been so afraid of disappointing¡­ why do I care? He stole me from my home, had my mother murdered, and kept me locked away for years. He claimed he wanted me to be his heir, but that was never his real intention, was it? He just wanted to make me into an obedient puppet Duke so he could let his daughter rule the southern duchy.

    No, that¡¯s not right. It¡¯s my fault, isn¡¯t it? It¡¯s because I¡¯m so weak. I was a failure. He only hit me because I disappointed him.

    But while he held me hostage, he also had his men rape and murder countless women so he and the Second Prince could start a war. People died and people are still suffering, all because of him. In the end, he threw me away when I became more useful as a sacrifice than a pawn. All of this suffering traces back to him. The more I learn, the more I despise him.

    ¡°Falyn.¡±

    I was beginning to understand that I had been conditioned to fear disappointing him. Am I really afraid of disappointing him, or do I just know that hearing that word means pain?

    ¡°Falyn, are you alright?¡±

    I¡¯d never thought to question it before, but now that I had, I didn¡¯t know what came next. Isn¡¯t it¡­ a good thing to be considered disappointing by someone like that?

    I felt a sharp pain in my head at that thought. My heart was pounding and I broke out in a cold sweat. I felt like I had asked myself something I wasn¡¯t allowed to ask.

    ¡°Falyn!¡±

    Andrian¡¯s voice interrupted my thoughts, pulling me out of my deep contemplation. Blinking, I looked over at him. The pain in my head receded as soon as he drew my attention. Distantly, I realized that this wasn¡¯t the first time he¡¯d called out my name.

    ¡°Hey, are you okay?¡± Luxania inquired standing up and moving towards me. I held up both hands to show there was no need. I pointed to my head and shrugged. I was fine, I was just thinking too hard.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you ride with Andrian for the rest of the afternoon?¡± Shidah suggested to me, ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s a good idea for you to be riding alone if you¡¯re thinking that hard.¡±

    I could see his point, so I nodded in agreement and looked to Andrian. I had worried him again. I needed to be more careful.

    ¡°You can think all you want while we ride,¡± he said, ¡°You¡¯ve got a lot to think about, I get it.¡±

    His words calmed my heart and I smiled my thanks. I was always finding new reasons to be grateful to him. After all of that darkness, I couldn¡¯t help but think of him as my light.

    We rode through the afternoon, and into the evening, finally stopping at twilight to light a fire and wait for Estra¡¯s return. Not wanting to feel useless, I followed Luxania around trying to help her prepare our camp. She seemed to understand what I was after and began patiently teaching me how to set up our tents, while Andrian started the fire and Shidah tended the horses.

    I¡¯d spend the afternoon in contemplation, but I¡¯d never been able to get past that final question I¡¯d asked myself. Every time I tried to answer it, I¡¯d feel a headache coming on. It was like my mind was telling me I wasn¡¯t ready to know that answer. I was anxious for Estra to get back. He had offered to assist with treating me during our journey, and with all those thoughts raging in my mind, I felt like I was ready to take a real step forward tonight.

    After setting up the tents, Luxania began showing me how to prepare the meal. She began the process of cutting up some of the magically preserved vegetables we¡¯d brought with us. Shidah had fetched us a pot of water when he got water for the horses from a nearby pond, and we set it above the fire to boil. It was only fit for horses to drink but would be safe to use for the soup once boiled. Andrian disappeared into the forest and returned with two fresh caught rabbits to go into the stew. I was shown how to skin and prepare them to eat, but I only watched the process and didn¡¯t participate.

    When we were adding the meat and vegetables to the boiling pot, Estra touched down at our camp. He¡¯d found the rest of the group with ease and they¡¯d sent ten men with a wagon under Estra¡¯s guidance back to the village. My theory was right, and there had been utter pandemonium when the food arrived. The strength of ten soldiers helped greatly with keeping order. I felt a warm feeling in my chest when I heard those people had received the help they needed. The rabbit stew tasted delicious.

    After dinner, Estra kept to his word and directed me to his tent. I was feeling both motivated and terrified as I followed him. The feeling that I was ready to take a step forward was quickly being overshadowed by fear, but I was determined to try. He had me lay down and repeated the same ritual he always did. First I drank the tea while he wafted sweet and thick smoke all through the tent, and he placed the stones on me once I laid down on his pile of blankets. Along the way, I¡¯d realized his blankets reminded me of a nest, which wasn¡¯t surprising considering his beast. I started to drift away as he studied my energy flow, entering into the same trance-like state he¡¯d put me in before.

    I awoke in a long hallway filled with doors. Everywhere that wasn¡¯t the hallway was filled with dense grey fog, so thick I couldn¡¯t see anything through it. At the far end of the hallway I could see the large door that waited for me, the one I¡¯d taken Amelie through before, the one that led to the night they came for me.

    It¡¯s different this time, I thought to myself as I looked around me. Previously I had felt like I¡¯d fallen asleep and woken with no recollection of being tranced, my memories returning to me like I¡¯d dreamed them. Or have I always been conscious of what I¡¯m doing here and just can¡¯t remember it? I couldn¡¯t say for sure, but something told me this wasn¡¯t what had happened previously. Maybe it was because I¡¯d decided I was ready to begin facing what was behind these doors.

    Now that I was standing here, I couldn''t help but hesitate. What would I find beyond those doors? I should start at the beginning, shouldn''t I? I debated with a shudder. Looking at the ominous door at the end of the foggy hallway, I decided that maybe I wasn''t ready to go there. If not the very beginning, then as close to it as I dare go. I thought of the night I arrived at my father''s home. The night I met the hateful man who stole my mother from me, along with my hopes and my sense of self. As I thought about it, I found myself drawn to one of the doors.

    Other than the door at the end of the hall, all the doors were identical. Regular wooden doors with brass doorknobs, one after another. When I stared down the hall to the large door at the end, the hallway seemed surprisingly short, but when I started trying to count the other doors, the hallway began to seem like it went on forever. I didn¡¯t know which view was real, perhaps they both were. But in that moment, I knew which door I wanted to open.

    I walked towards the door that was drawing me in. I placed my hand on the brass knob and turned it. From where I stood in the hallway, all I could see was an ominous darkness beyond the threshold. Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself as best I could, and walked through the door into the darkness.

 Chapter Twenty Three

    It was strange. I was watching my own memory like it was a stage play. I saw a wagon pull up in front of my father¡¯s house. I watched as Tarlon dragged me out of the back of the wagon, and threw me on my knees in front of my father, who stood with his wife and daughter at the bottom of the stairs.

    ¡°You dealt with the mother?¡± I heard my father inquire. I didn¡¯t need to listen to the response, I already knew what was said. This part was something I''d never forgotten. I already knew this part of the play by heart. I felt myself slowly being drawn closer to the scene, like a magnet was pulling me towards it.

    ¡°Pray tell me, Sir Tarlon, was it painful?¡± my stepmother asked. This time I was able to see the disgusting look on her face as she asked him. The anticipation I had heard in her voice was evident on her face. Her daughter had worn a similar look, her eyes alight with the idea that cruel deeds had been done. I wasn¡¯t surprised, her violent nature had been exposed to me over and over again. Yet, there was a part of me that was horrified to know that two women were excited to hear of such things.

    ¡°What is your name, boy?¡±

    Ah, I remember now. I truly believed I was refusing to give him my name, rather than being unable to speak. It was easier to believe I was just defying him. I didn¡¯t know I was damaged goods yet. Seeing that spark of defiance in my youthful eyes made me ache when I thought of how quickly that spark went out.

    I realized I¡¯d been pulled closer than I expected. Too close. When my father backhanded my younger self, suddenly I was in his place, spitting blood. I could feel the sharp pair from the rib he''d broken with his kick. I looked up at him again, somehow feeling that old spark in me again.

    ¡°Very well,¡± he said, ¡°You¡¯ll have to learn things the hard way. From this day forward you can forget whatever name that whore called you. You are now Julien de Ramport, son of the Duke of Ramport. Your only purpose¡­¡±

    I stopped listening. I knew what came next. Did I really have to live through it again? He backhanded me again and I fell to the ground. My arms were still bound behind me so I didn¡¯t even have a way to protect myself as he began kicking and stomping me. It felt like it lasted forever, each blow causing explosions of pain, one on top of the other. I wondered how I hadn''t died that night. It hurt so much. The pain, however, was nothing compared to the terror I felt as my father mercilessly beat me. All I could do was lay on the ground and wait for him to decide it was enough. But then it was over.

    Distantly, I knew I wasn¡¯t really experiencing it, I was just remembering. The pain was just phantom pain, but the horror of the experience was very real. It was hard to tell what was the past and what was happening now. I lay on the ground struggling to retain consciousness, the sharp pains of the beating giving way to a duller but overwhelming ache that I was very familiar with. As I fought the blackness that threatened to engulf me, I was no longer within my body and once again looking at the scene as an observer.

    ¡°My darling,¡± I heard my stepmother say, ¡°Didn¡¯t I tell you this would be a waste of time. You should have just killed it with its mother.¡±

    I felt myself being pushed away. As my younger self faded into true unconsciousness, I drifted further and further away.

    ¡°If he¡¯d taken after me in the slightest, he would¡¯ve understood what was necessary and thanked me for bringing him home. I see now that he took after his whore mother in every way. Pathetic. We can still use him though,¡± my father assured her. ¡°If seeing what happened to his precious mother wasn¡¯t enough, he can learn personally what it means to defy me¡­¡±

    They continued speaking but I couldn¡¯t hear anymore. That must have been when I passed out from my injuries. Then, I was in the hallway again. The door I¡¯d gone through was no longer in front of me. I stared into the grey fog that was there in its place for some time. My eyes stung for a moment, then I felt something wet begin creeping its way down my cheek.

    I looked up the hallway and saw row after row of doors. I looked the other way and there was nothing but more doors. Endless doors. The tears began to flow freely as I looked helplessly and the infinite hallway.

    How many times do I have to do this? It seemed an impossible task. Even if I could force myself to open the doors to that many bad memories, I couldn¡¯t get through them all with my sanity intact. That¡¯s why these doors are here, anyways. To protect me from what¡¯s beyond.

    The door at the end of the hallway came into my vision. It was so far away. There were so many doors to open before I could get to it¡­ or were there? When I stared at it long enough, suddenly it was right in front of me. Up close, it looked the same as the other doors, yet different. It wasn¡¯t something that could easily be put into words. It was a plain wooden door with a brass knob, just like the rest, but it seemed to absorb all light that came near it. Its wood was the densest of black, like the darkest corner of the deepest cave, a penetrating darkness that threatened to swallow my soul. But if I blinked it was a normal door again. The two images superimposed in my vision and I couldn¡¯t tell which was real. I didn¡¯t want to open it. Not now, not yet.

    I fell to my knees and wept bitterly, letting all of my frustration and fear escape as I sobbed and wailed. I cried until I started struggling to catch my breath. When I tried to draw in more air, I felt like I was breathing through a tube. I felt a flash of panic when I realized I couldn¡¯t draw a proper breath. I started desperately gasping, trying to force the air into my lungs, before realizing that exhaling was just as hard. The more I tried, the less air I could get in. I started grasping at my throat desperately as tears continued streaming down my face. I felt like I was going to die.

    I awoke in Estra¡¯s tent, gasping for air. My lungs could fill themselves now that I was awake, but the sickly sweet smoke in the air triggered a coughing fit.

    ¡°Falyn! Are you okay?¡± Estra asked me, rushing to my side. Ignoring his question, I pushed him aside as I choked and gasped, and scrambled out of the tent. I managed to make it a few feet away from the tent before my coughs turned into heaving and I vomited the contents of my stomach onto the ground outside.

    On my hands and knees, I continued dry heaving long after my stomach was empty. At some point I felt someone''s hand begin rubbing my back as I retched and gagged. Eventually my stomach calmed and I was able to start breathing deeply of the cool night air. The hand on my back slowed its movements.

    When I was finally calmed, I looked up and met Andrian¡¯s eyes. Concern was written all over his face but he didn¡¯t didn¡¯t speak. Instead, he just waited until my breathing was normal before holding his hand out to help me up. I accepted his hand and he led me over to the fire and passed me a waterskin. I swished the water around my mouth and spat a couple of times before drinking deeply from the skin.

    ¡°You look a little calmer now,¡± he observed, breaking his silence. I nodded to indicate I was indeed calmer, as Estra came to sit with us, his attention focused on my reactions.

    ¡°I know it didn¡¯t look like it,¡± Estra said to Andrian, ¡°but I can assure you that what you just saw is a good thing.¡± Turning to me, he continued, ¡°You took a good first step tonight, didn¡¯t you?¡±

    I studied the ground and considered it. I did take the first step, but I could only open one door and broke down in the process. I hadn¡¯t done well enough to say it was a good first step. Eventually I shrugged without raising my gaze from my feet.

    ¡°I know, you don¡¯t feel good about it right now, do you?¡± Estra asked me in a knowing tone, ¡°I¡¯ve seen battle hardened soldiers break down and weep when they make a breakthrough for the first time. For you, sorting through whatever you partitioned in that head of yours is equivalent to a breakthrough. The reaction you had proves it. I do wish you could speak to me about what you¡¯re feeling¡­ but I suppose we have no choice but to do things out of order. We can talk about this someday in the future, when you''ve reached that point.¡±

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    His words did make me feel a little bit better. I was still ashamed of my weakness, but I also felt like I¡¯d reclaimed a piece of myself, no matter how small and unpleasant it was. How sad that I have to reclaim myself in such an awful way. But when I¡¯m done, will I be anything more than the sum of my traumas? I was afraid, afraid that what I might regain would leave me even more broken than I already was. What if I have to lose who I am to regain who I was? Is my voice really worth it? It¡¯s unnerving to know there¡¯s so much missing from my memories, but do I really need to know? Can¡¯t I just be happy with Andrian?

    ¡­But how can he be happy with me if we can¡¯t even have a conversation? He¡¯s been so lonely for so long. Can I really ask him to listen to silence for the rest of his life?

    I knew in my heart that I needed to keep moving forward, even though it was hard. The next day, we¡¯d be arriving in Rovette and I was now terrified of what that would mean. My instincts had told me that I needed to go back but now that we were almost there, I was questioning why I had felt that way. At the same time, a little voice inside me was urging me forward, so I could be the person Andrian deserved and give him a small measure of the happiness and comfort he¡¯d given me.

    ¡°I¡¯ll take him back to our tent,¡± I heard Andrian say right before I was scooped up from my position by the fire. Startled by the sudden movement, I gripped his shoulders tightly, before relaxing into his embrace and allowing myself to be carried away. I was brought to our tent and gently placed on my bedding. Andrian laid down next to me, wrapping his arms around me.

    ¡°I wish I knew what to say or do to help you,¡± Andrian said to me softly, ¡°Maybe there¡¯s nothing I can do for you at all. But I¡¯m here for you. Whatever you want, whatever you need, I¡¯m willing to do it for you.¡±

    I squeezed his arms tightly and thought, I can¡¯t force him to live like this. He deserves a complete partner, someone who is capable of supporting him as much as he¡¯s been supporting me. Since I¡¯m not willing to give him up, getting better is my only choice.

    Andrian held me close without saying anything else. I was awake long after he¡¯d fallen asleep, caught in an ongoing cycle of determination, fear, and self loathing. ¡°Never let your fate be decided by fear.¡± Amelie¡¯s first words to me echoed through my mind. Eventually, I drifted off into a fitful sleep.

    The next morning, we were all up before the dawn and began packing up our camp. I¡¯d slept for three movements at most, probably less. My eyes felt dried out and sore, and my body ached from fatigue and stress. We¡¯d be in Rovette by mid afternoon. I went to help Luxania take down the tents while the others readied the horses and prepared breakfast. After my night of tossing and turning, I must have looked a mess. Luxania looked at me with sympathy.

    ¡°You know,¡± she said to me as we worked, ¡°you don¡¯t have to force yourself. I know you¡¯re feeling pressured to move forward with your treatment. It¡¯s at least partially my fault you''re feeling that way too. I hope you know that no one would judge you harshly if you decide its too soon for this. Last night¡­ I don¡¯t think I¡¯d really considered how hard this would actually be for you. So I want to make sure you know that we don¡¯t have to go to Rovette if you aren¡¯t up for it. Eventually is good enough for now. The war is over anyways. Justice can wait a few years.¡±

    I appreciated what she was saying, but her words from before weren¡¯t what were driving me at all. I was doing this for me and for Andrian. I wanted to get better for us. I also wanted to see my father and his men pay for what they¡¯d done. I shook my head, gestured to myself and pointed in the direction of Rovette. No, I¡¯m going. Your words might have been what started this, but I¡¯m continuing on for my own reasons.

    ¡°Very well, I won¡¯t say anything else then.¡± Luxania left it at that and we continued taking down the tents and packing up our camp.

    We finished tearing down the camp, ate a simple breakfast of boiled oats with berries from a nearby bush and dried meat strips that the beastmen said was made from the meat of a buffalo. It was salty and tasted somewhat smoky. The dried meat was more practical for travel than magically preserved meat because it was small and lightweight. In any case, the beastmen had no issues catching game animals when we wanted fresh meat, so those strips were mostly treated as an easy protein in the morning or a snack to eat while riding.

    Andrian brought me over to his horse without giving me the option of riding alone. I could see Estra and Luxania talking off to the side, glancing in my direction often enough that I knew they were talking about me. After I had climbed my way atop Andrian¡¯s horse, Estra rode over to us and said, ¡°You¡¯re looking a little worse for wear this morning. Are you feeling well enough to travel?¡±

    I gave him an unhappy face. Do I look that bad? First Luxania was worrying about me, now Estra?

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t give me that face. I¡¯d be amazed if you looked any other way after last night. It¡¯s hard to sleep when there¡¯s too much going on in your head.¡± Estra studied my face as he spoke. ¡°Well, I suppose you know best what you can handle, but if at any point you decide you want to turn around, we can. If you push yourself too much, you¡¯ll have a breakdown instead of a breakthrough.¡±

    What he was saying made sense, but I was resolved to continue on. I¡¯d already questioned it enough and knew this was what I needed to do. I was more afraid of the consequences if I didn¡¯t keep going than what would happen if I did. I gave him a small shrug to say I knew he was right, but I was still going.

    I guess last night made them think I¡¯m not strong enough to do this. I guess I can¡¯t blame them since I was almost ready to give up on this too. Still, I wish they had more confidence in me. I wondered if anyone else was going to try to convince me to change my mind. I waited for Shidah to take his turn at it.

    However, all he said to me was, ¡°Don¡¯t listen to them kiddo. If you¡¯re confident, then that¡¯s enough.¡± I appreciated the sentiment more than he could know. Andrian climbed up behind me on the horse without a word, prompting our horse to begin moving south towards Rovette.

    We rode hard, only stopping once at midday for lunch. As the afternoon progressed, I began to recognize the places we were passing and I realized we¡¯d reached the town of Rovette. We entered through the northern end of the town and as we rode, I began seeing streets that I was certain I¡¯d been down before. I wondered if I¡¯d recognize any of the people, or if too much time had passed for that. I¡¯d been given the choice of whether I wanted to pass through town or not. I¡¯d chosen to pass through because I wanted to see it again, but I had no desire to meet with anyone I¡¯d once known.

    The center of the town looked much like I remembered it. The blank points in my childhood memories had never been related to locations, just events, and I¡¯d recovered what I was missing from my early years regardless. As I looked around, I was filled with a sense of nostalgia, seeing the familiar sights. The town square was a wide open space with a large fountain at the center and various stalls set up for the locals to sell food, crafts and clothes. Compared to cities like Shelfort, Rovette was rather small, but it had a strong sense of community based commerce, and trades were accepted in place of coins. I was happy to see that hadn¡¯t changed much after the war.

    The bakery I used to visit with my mother on special days was still there, as well as the small but well kept inn for travelers. Down the way, I could see the old tavern and gambling house were still up and running as well. As I stared wide eyed at familiar places, I realized that the townspeople had slowly stopped what they were doing to watch the five of us who had come to a stop near the fountain. They whispered amongst themselves, but no one came close to where our horses stood. The people looked curious but wary at the unknown beastmen. Eventually a man came out from the crowd and approached us.

    ¡°Greetings,¡± he said a little nervously, ¡°Welcome to Rovette. We¡¯ve never had beastmen arrive as guests before and, uh, well, welcome. Yes, welcome.¡± By his manner of dress, I assumed he must be some kind of official for the town. He wore a careful smile and continued eyeing Shidah as he spoke. I¡¯d gotten used to it, so I¡¯d forgotten that most humans would be intimidated by his enormous size. I knew his large form was accompanied by a peaceful and kind personality, but they just saw a giant beastman. Shidah chuckled lightly as he watched the man trying to be gracious as he trembled with fear.

    ¡°Thank you for your welcome, but we don¡¯t intend to stay as guests,¡± Shidah greeted him in his usual even tone, ¡°We were just making a short stop on our way home.¡± Shidah¡¯s deep and calm voice seemed to soothe the man a little.

    ¡°May I ask what you¡¯ve stopped for? We are a small town, but we have an excellent selection of stores and stalls. Or if it¡¯s a rest you need, I can show you the inn,¡± the man offered, back on track with his welcome.

    ¡°That won¡¯t be necessary, we are really just passing through,¡± Andrian answered him, declining his offers. The man looked over for a moment and then did a double take as he saw me sitting in front of Andrian on his horse. He seemed surprised to see me there, but thankfully he didn¡¯t question my presence or point out I was a human among beastmen. Word travels fast in a small town and I had no interest in accidental reunions if word got out I grew up there.

 Chapter Twenty Four

    "Of course, of course," the man replied, "I won''t bother you much longer. It''s just... we''ve received a lot of help from the Beastlands. Your army''s invasion of our town saved us. The Vraynian army, they occupied us for a long time. They took our food and forced themselves on our women. They said it was their right because they were protecting us. Anyone who stood up to them was executed for treason. So, even if you''re just passing through, if there''s anything we can do for you, please don''t hesitate to ask."

    He gave us a quick bow and walked away. I realized belatedly that he''d forgotten to introduce himself. As soon as he''d gone, the townsfolk went back to what they were doing, though many were still watching us. I tugged impatiently at Andrian''s sleeve. I''d seen enough and wanted to get out of the town square before anyone else approached us.

    However, someone else approached us just as we were leaving the square. Just as we were about to leave, an elderly woman whom I recognized as the wife of the bakery owner followed us. She waved an arm as she approached.

    "Wait, please, just for a moment," she called to us. The horses halted and we turned to face her. "You, you''re the young man from before, aren''t you?" she asked Andrian as he looked down at her from his horse.

    "Yes, I am, and you''re the baker''s wife, Olha." Even though I wasn''t looking at him, I could tell that Andrian was smiling at her as he spoke. "Olha, who makes the best steamed buns in all of Vrayna, right?"

    The old lady beamed and replied, "You''ve got that right! Why don''t you boys come over and have a drink before you go? The lady is welcome too, of course." Olha winked at Luxania and tittered to herself before looking up at me. "And that must mean you''re Simona''s boy. It''s ten years too late now, but I''m so sorry about what happened to that dear girl. I''m glad your friend here was able to find you and bring you home."

    "Ah, I''m sorry Olha, but we won''t be stopping today," Andrian declined her offer, scratching his head awkwardly. "We''re really just passing through on our way home."

    Olha didn''t try to hide her disappointment, but said she understood. As we were about to turn and leave, I touched Andrian''s arm to stop him. The idea of taking Andrian to the bakery I used to go to with my mother suddenly sounded more appealing than I''d expected. The promise of steamed buns for an afternoon snack was hard to resist, and maybe it would be good to see the old baker, too. He and his wife were always kind to us when we visited. I''d thought I didn''t want any chance reunions, but this one felt like a good one.

    "It seems we''ll be imposing on you after all," Andrian informed her after confirming my intentions. Olha seemed delighted with this. She showed us where we could tie up the horses and quickly led us toward the bakery before we could change our minds.

    "I make five kinds of buns every day," she nattered away to no one in particular as she herded us through the square, "I make fruit, jam, custard, vegetable, and one with meat. The flavors change daily, so there''s always something new to try. Today I''ve got pear fruit, whistleberry jam... oh, I think we''re out of custard, but there are mushroom buns left, and ones with roast chicken and carrots. And of course there''s my husband''s bread and pastries. His herb bread is as famous as my buns."

    She led us into the bakery and I hesitated at the door when I saw the place was full of people. I was overwhelmed with a sense of familiarity as I took in my surroundings. A counter with a glass display for the cakes and artisanal pastries, shelves stacked with fresh loaves of bread, and of course, the steamer that housed Olha''s famous buns. My mouth watered at the delicious smells that permeated the air. The seating area was just as I remembered it, with a long wooden bar and stools along the back wall, and four small tables between the bar and the counter.

    A hush fell over the bakery as Olha led us inside. She was oblivious to everything and continued talking as if we were the only people there. "Now you go get a table and I''ll bring you all a nice collection of everything. It''s all on the house, so don''t worry about the price. Ernie! We''ve got some special guests!" she called to her husband as she bustled off the kitchen behind the counter. We walked to the only open table in the corner. There were only four seats, but Shidah was a little too big for the small chairs anyway. He grabbed a stool from the bar and sat against the wall, where he could observe the whole bakery without having to turn his head.

    The folks at the other tables had all given up on their conversations and were openly watching the table of beastmen. For the most part, they just seemed to be curious about the table of non-human strangers. I could understand how they felt. All their lives, they had been led to believe that the beastmen on the other side of the borderland were hostile and dangerous, yet it was those very beastmen who had freed them from the oppression of their own soldiers. And now there was a group of beastmen sitting with them in their small town bakery. At least there was no hostility like there had been at the engagement banquet.

    Olha soon reappeared with a whole tray of buns and pastries, which she used to cover our small table. She made a point of serving us personally, offering us drinks and explaining the various pastries she''d brought. Once everyone was taken care of, she borrowed a chair from the table next to us and sat down. As she chatted comfortably with us, the attention of the other patrons soon returned to what they were doing.

    Luxania and Estra were happy to chat with her about whatever came to Olha''s mind, and I was able to take in my surroundings and eat something delicious. By sheer coincidence, both of the items I used to order with my mother were served; a steamed bun with whistleberry jam and a flaky pastry filled with almond butter and topped with a sweet glaze. I quickly took one of each and looked at Andrian with a smile. I cut the steamed bun in half and pushed half of it to him with a nod. He ate his half in one bite and I enjoyed watching his face light up as he tasted it. I ate my half in a few bites before cutting the almond pastry to repeat the process.

    I used to share the same table and the same food with my mother once upon a time... It''s a shame she can''t be here with us now. Now that I think about it, I never told her about my secret visits to the Beastlands. I wonder how she''d have felt knowing that I''d snuck across the borderland to visit a beastman and his cub. More than that, I wonder how she''d feel about me marrying that cub, who''s neither human nor female. I think she would have liked Andrian anyway. I want to believe that my mother would''ve been happy for us.

    Andrian gained his human form the same summer I was taken. He said he''d already bonded with me then, so if I could have gone back one more time, would he have told me his feelings? How would I have reacted then? I found myself daydreaming about all the things that could have been. I imagined how it would have felt to fall in love with Andrian without all the trauma and the rush. If things had been different, would we have spent our lives together until now? I wondered what it would have been like to introduce him to my mother.

    I sat in my seat for a while, lost in thought. Eventually, I realized that all the treats were gone and it was time for us to leave. I was glad that we had stopped at the bakery. It was nice to rest and dwell on only pleasant thoughts for once. I felt as refreshed as I had after my first few nights under Estra''s treatments.

    The town of Rovette was soon behind us, and we passed the stable where I''d worked that summer. I wonder what happened to the three copper coins I earned. Those bastards probably stole them from me too. After the stable, we passed the side path that led to the river where I often bathed on my way home from town. After the river, the next fork in the road was where we would turn off to go to my former home.

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    At my urging, we halted where the path diverged, and I looked toward the wooded path that would take me back to the beginning. The other path, the one that led directly to the Beastlands, called out to me, reminding me that I could just pass by and forget about going home. The path to the house looked as ominous as it had that night. I could feel Andrian behind me, his warmth against my back reminding me that I was safe now. Whatever horrors lay down that path had already happened and they couldn''t hurt me anymore.

    We took the fork and rode down the forest path in the direction of my old house. On horseback, it only took minutes before we were in the clearing where my childhood home still stood. The front yard had become overgrown over the years and the grass and weeds had grown to almost waist high. My small childhood house sat in the middle of this overgrown yard, neglected for the past ten years. Was it always this small? I wondered, or have I just gotten used to the oversized homes of the nobles?

    I dismounted from my horse and began to look around. My companions stood back and watched without interfering. I walked up to the front door of the house and saw that it had been left open by a crack. The door had once been painted red, but now it was rough wood with an occasional red streak to hint at its former color. The crack in the door gave me the feeling that someone was waiting for me inside. My heart pounded as I reached forward and pushed the door open, half expecting to be grabbed from behind.

    With a loud creak, the door swung open and the small house filled my vision. The main room was an absolute mess of broken furniture, animal tracks, and cobwebs. Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust. I took a deep breath and stepped through the door, leaving Andrian and the other beastmen in the yard. The inside smelled musty and damp, with a faint hint of old blood. Although it was midday, it was dark inside.

    ¡°I¡¯ve got the kid. We don¡¯t need this bitch to talk anymore.¡±

    A voice echoed in my head, but there was no one there but me. The dining room had been torn apart that night and no one had ever bothered to put it back together. The table where we once ate lay on its side and the broken remnants of chairs lay strewn about on the floor.

    "Keep crying, whore! You''re prettier when you cry."

    I felt nauseated and looked down at the table as flashes of that night flashed through my memory. I looked at the corner behind me, next to the door to my mother''s bedroom. That was where they held me down and made me watch. I thought I could still feel Albrecht''s hands on me, and I heard his whisper in my ear.

    "You''re next. I can''t touch you tonight, but one day I''ll see you crying like your bitch mother over there. I''ll have you begging before I''m done."

    The nausea grew worse and I began to struggle for breath. Memories came in tiny flashes, voices in my head, and images of then and now overlapping in my mind. I fell to my knees, clutching my head, which was pounding so hard that I thought it might burst. I closed my eyes, trying to control my panic as my mind was flooded with the violence I''d witnessed. Behind my tightly closed lids, I could see the large blackened door that had haunted me the night before.

    Boom. Boom. Boom. I couldn''t tell if someone was banging on the door or if it was just the sound of my own heart. Boom. Boom. The door shook in its frame. Whatever was inside wanted out. I was scared.

    I opened my eyes and my childhood home was gone. I stood in the fog. All around me the gray fog lingered, obscuring everything that lay beyond. There was no hallway, no endless doors, just a lone, dark door in front of me. Was there light coming from behind the door? No, it was just my imagination. That door ate light, it wouldn''t let any out. I thought I heard voices from behind it, whispering my name, but I knew that too must be an illusion. It was my imagination, right?

    I looked around desperately for another way out, but there was nothing but fog; a fog so deep I didn''t think I''d ever find my way out.

    You have to open the door to get out.

    I heard a voice echoing through my mind. I turned in circles trying to find its source, but there was no one out there. I was alone. There was only me.

    Never let your fate be decided by fear.

    Was it Amelie¡¯s voice I was hearing? Was it my own?

    Boom, boom, boom.

    Someone was definitely pounding on the door.

    Please! Please let me out!

    This time I was certain it was my own voice I was hearing.

    I''m all alone in the dark. Please open the door. I''m afraid. You took all the light back and left me here. Julien, please let me out!

    I wanted to tell the me inside the door that they were wrong. I''m not Julien, I''m Falyn. But I couldn''t speak here either. I had no voice.

    Boom! The door shook. Julien, please! I want to get out. I want to see the light again!

    No, no, you''re wrong. I''m not Julien. I don''t want to be Julien de Ramport. He doesn''t exist. He''s just someone our father made up!

    Boom! Boom! Boom!

    The pounding on the door continued and I realized that the other me was right. I was Julien. I wasn''t real. The person on the other side of the door was also Falyn, the part I''d put away to survive. He was me. I was Julien, but I was also Falyn. I just had to free the rest of me from behind the door. But to let myself out, I had to open the door to the darkness I feared.

    It¡¯s okay. The darkness can¡¯t hurt you. It¡¯s just frightening is all.

    I reached for the door. I was right. All I had to do was face the darkness. It was normal to be afraid. I couldn''t stay locked in there and suffer alone. Together we could face the darkness. I turned the knob and pulled the door towards me. Blackness, shining like sunlight, shot out and enveloped me. In flashes and bursts I saw pieces of the life I''d lived. More than nine years of my life, which I''d thought had flown by in a whirlwind, had actually been nine very long years, with each day stretching into eternity. Hours upon hours of sitting alone in my room with no one to talk to and nothing to occupy my mind but books. Days upon days, idle and isolated, until that alone would have been enough to break me.

    The madness that came from starvation when I was locked away without food. The beatings and violence and constant reminders that I was a disappointment and worthless. As I lay on my bed in my gilded prison, willing myself to die from injuries that were never serious enough to kill. When I lived in terror that Albrecht would corner me if I left my room to bathe or go for a walk. He always looked for me when he returned to the house from one of his missions on the eastern border. I remember with perfect clarity the things he would do when he found me.

    As more and more memories flooded my mind, I became overwhelmed by the constant stream of images and understanding. Conversations I''d overheard as I lay beaten on the floor of my father''s study. Who I was. What I had become. I understood the truth. I didn¡¯t partition my mind, I was the partition my mind created. The rest of me had been waiting for me to come back and release it... me... us... it was all the same now. I was a single piece made whole. It was beautiful and it was terrible. All of me remembered everything. The fear, the anger and the years of suffering burned a hole in my heart and spilled out. I howled and shrieked and screamed and fell to my knees in the darkness.

    As I returned to awareness, I felt disoriented and unhinged. Strong hands held me down and I could hear voices telling me to calm down, that I was going to hurt myself. I realized that the anguished wailing I could hear was coming from my own vocal cords. I was flailing and screaming as I tried to fight my way out of the strong grip someone had on my arms. I didn''t fully understand what was happening, but I knew I didn''t want to be held down. They had to let me go. This wasn''t okay.

    The fact that I was using my voice didn''t even register as I struggled to free myself and kicked at the aggressors in front of me.

    "AAAhhh! Let go!" I screamed as I kicked my legs wildly. I would have screamed again, but my long unused voice was already hoarse and strained from such a violent return. I coughed and choked and tried to muster up another scream, but I couldn''t produce more than a wheeze. I gasped for air but couldn''t stop coughing long enough to take a full breath. I began to panic as I struggled to fill my lungs. I felt the arms holding me release me, and the aggressors began to make concerned noises. But it was too late for that. My vision began spotting with black as I gasped and flailed upon the floor. Then I was consumed by the blackness.

 Chapter Twenty Five

    I dreamed many dreams. Endless dreams of suppressed memories, forgotten violence, and omitted knowledge. I dreamed of my mother, my father, and loneliness. I dreamed of all that had happened and all that I''d lost. My mind was freed from the magic that bound it, and in my dreams, the Falyn that is and the Falyn that was were merged into a single being.

    I was ready to wake up, but I couldn''t find my way back. I struggled to return, but the fog that always led me back was gone. There was nothing but the sea of memories, with no indication of which way would lead me back. I decided to swim and see what I could find, but when I tried to move, I felt myself being dragged under. I tried to fight, but I was easily pulled down into the blackness below. I couldn''t breathe, but it was no use struggling as I was pulled deeper and deeper into the darkest parts of my mind. Finally, with no other choice, I breathed the ocean into my lungs, taking it all into me. As the darkness filled me, I drifted into another dream.

    When I woke up, I knew immediately that I wasn''t really awake. I was in some sort of dungeon, lying on my back atop a wooden plank. I could tell that I was bound tightly enough to cut off my circulation, but I couldn''t feel any pain from my restraints. My whole body felt strangely numb. I was aware of it, but I couldn''t really feel it.

    The ceiling above me was made of stone and looked somehow wet. The walls were made of the same stone and covered with torture tools. There was a single torch in each corner, illuminating the room enough so that I could clearly see dried blood caked on the tools and splattered on the walls and ceiling. When I managed to lift my head enough to look directly in front of me, I saw something that frightened me even more than the tools and blood on the walls. Standing before me were my father and Albrecht, both of them wearing hideous smiles as they looked down at my helpless form.

    ¡°I warned you what would happen if you came back here,¡± my father said in a low, menacing voice.

    ¡°You can either be the beast¡¯s bitch for the remainder of your years, or you can die. If you return, you will be Albrecht''s toy, not my son."

    His voice echoed through the room without him moving his lips.

    ¡°No!¡± I shouted, ¡°I didn¡¯t go back! This isn¡¯t real. It¡¯s just a dream.¡±

    When my father spoke again, his voice no longer echoed through the room. He said, "And yet here we are. Does it matter if this is real or not? Albrecht here will take you, piece by piece, until there''s nothing left. Dream or not, there won''t be anything left of you."

    Albrecht stepped forward, licking his lips, a long, jagged blade in his hands. My father was right. It didn''t matter if this was real or not, I was terrified. Albrecht pulled my foot up by the toe and began to saw through my foot with the blade. I screamed even though I felt no pain. Just like my bindings, I was numb to what was happening, but the horror of seeing him slice through the side of my foot was still overwhelming.

    "It''s your fault, really," my father explained as Albrecht continued to saw, "if you weren''t such a disappointment, I wouldn''t have to do these things. All you ever had to do was be grateful and obey. Even an idiot could manage that much."

    I noticed that my heel was dropped back down, and Albrecht triumphantly held up the top half of my foot. He threw it into the corner and I realized that three dog monsters had appeared and were fighting over the fresh meat. Or had they always been there and I hadn''t noticed? They were big, shaggy mutts, but when they turned to face us, they all had human faces. Tarlon, my stepmother, and my sister all looked at me with blood on their faces and swallowed what was left of my flesh.

    "How does it feel to know that all your suffering is because you''re not good enough?" my father asked as Albrecht grabbed the toe of my other foot and started sawing again. "Your mother wouldn''t have suffered if it weren''t for you. You know that, right? Everything my men did to her was because of you. The pain you feel now, the pain she felt then, it''s all because of you."

    "No! It''s you! You did this!" I managed to get a few words out between my helpless screams. Another part of me was thrown away to be devoured.

    "If you had never been born, I wouldn''t have done any of the things I did. So it''s all your fault. If you didn''t exist, no one would have to suffer." My father''s cold words continued, and Albrecht cut through one of my ankles and threw the other half of a foot to the dog monsters in the corner. They fought each other happily for another piece.

    The process continued as Albrecht slowly sawed his way up, feeding me piece by piece to the ravenous dogs. As he dismembered me, one small chunk at a time, my father continued to speak. I was worthless, I was a disappointment, and I deserved what was done to me. By the time they reached my knees, I was willing to agree to anything to make them stop. I still felt no pain, but I could feel a tremendous sense of loss with each piece he severed.

    After what seemed like an eternity, my legs were completely gone. I''d screamed myself hoarse, but no matter how loud I screamed, I couldn''t drown out my father''s voice as it droned on and on. I deserved this. It was my punishment for what had happened to my mother.

    The whole time he was cutting me, Albrecht hadn''t spoken. He''d taken me apart in silence, piece by piece, with that disgusting, lustful smile on his face. To avoid seeing his face, I looked down and accidentally noticed how much he was enjoying his work. When he noticed where I was looking, he giggled and finally spoke.

    "The next part of you I''m going to cut off and keep as a souvenir," he said, his mouth widening into a sickening grin, "maybe I''ll take it home with me, or maybe I''ll just eat it myself. And after I cut it off, I''m going to have some real fun with you before we start removing your arms. I''ll finally get to ruin you completely. There''s no one to stop me from doing whatever I want to you now. I''m going to make you cry and beg like the little bitch you are."

    The fear in my heart spiked with his words. No, no, not that. Anything but that.

    And then I suddenly remembered that this wasn''t reality. This was my dream. None of this was real. I wasn''t in my father''s dungeon and I would never be at their mercy again. I was whole. I was free.

    Looking down at my body with this knowledge, I realized that I had my legs back. I had almost believed that they had taken a part of me away, but they hadn''t. I was still whole, no matter what they did to me. I was free now and they couldn''t hurt me anymore. So why the hell was I tied up and letting them hurt me? Then I was no longer bound and I sat up. In my hand, I now held the blade Albrecht had used to cut me. In the corner, the three monster dogs were heaving and coughing chunks of my flesh onto the floor.

    First, I got up from the wooden plank I was bound to and stomped on it. It broke into pieces and turned to dust. My father and Albrecht backed up until they hit the wall. There was no door for them to open and escape. This was the prison of my mind, not my father''s dungeon. If I couldn''t escape, neither could they. I took the blade over to the corner and slaughtered the dogs as they choked helplessly on the parts of me they''d tried to devour. The walls were soon covered with a fresh layer of blood, and I turned to my father and Albrecht, who were still standing against the wall, watching me warily.

    "You pathetic boy," my father said as I approached him. "You think you can just walk away from all this. You''re still weak. You''re still to blame. You think you deserve happiness? Know that any joy you ever feel came at the cost of what happened to your mother. You''re so selfish."

    You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

    "Enough!" I yelled, my voice echoing through the room. "I don''t want to hear it anymore!" I swung my arm and sliced his throat with my blade. His blood splattered and he grabbed at his neck, trying to stop the constant spurting.

    "You..." he gasped as he dropped to his knees, "you... disappointment... fail... ure..." He continued cursing me for a few more moments until he lost too much blood and fell to the ground.

    "You''re the disappointment, not me," I spat at him as his eyes closed forever. One down. I looked at Albrecht. One to go.

    Albrecht was no longer against the wall, but bound to the plank that had reappeared at my whim. He was naked and immobilized. I approached him with the knife. He spat at me.

    "You look so brave now," he said fearlessly. "You weren''t so brave when I had you before. Do you remember all the good times we had together? I couldn''t make you cry, but the terror in your eyes was so exciting. You''ll always be mine, you little shit. You belong to me. Your father said I could have you. When I see you again, I''ll... aaAAH!" He forgot how to do anything but scream as I cut off his manhood.

    "You never owned me," I asserted as I dangled his severed member in front of him. "If I see you again, I''ll do this for real."

    "You are broken! You can''t live a normal life anymore! I''ll haunt you until you di¨C hnnngggh" I silenced him by shoving his manhood down his throat. I wasn''t going to let this filth terrorize me anymore. I called three new dog monsters into the room. Albrecht''s eyes finally widened in fear as the monsters approached. They tore him apart as I watched and listened to his muffled cries. After a while his screaming ceased and the dogs disappeared. There was nothing left on the wooden plank.

    Alone in the room, I fell to my knees. I felt sick from what I''d seen. I reminded myself that it was only a dream and that I''d only done what needed to be done. With this, I could move on from the violence.

    The room now had a door. After my stomach settled, I got back on my feet and walked towards the door. I could see light shining through the cracks and knew instantly that this was my way back. I grasped the knob and turned it, opening the door and walking into the light.

    When I finally woke up, I had no idea where I was. I wasn''t in my childhood home, and I certainly wasn''t in a tent. I was lying in a real bed, with a pillow under my head and a blanket covering my body. The roof above my head was made of red colored wood and the air around me was warm. Looking around the room, I confirmed that I was alone. The walls were also redwood and so was the floor. The bed was placed with the head of the bed against one of the walls so that I could see the entire room from where I was lying. To my left was a wall with a curtained window to let in the sunlight I could see shining through the trees. I couldn''t tell if it was morning or late afternoon. In front of me was a large wardrobe with a bench next to it, and to the right was the door to the room. Next to the bed was a nightstand on the left and a couple of stools on the right. On top of the nightstand was a glass of water and a washbasin with a cloth in it. Wherever I was, it seemed I was being well taken care of.

    As I took in my surroundings, the door opened and a large man entered the room. He had deep auburn hair and a connecting beard that looked like a lion''s mane, and he was wearing brown pants and a beige shirt. I felt an immediate sense of familiarity. He turned to look at me and our eyes widened at the same time. He seemed quite surprised to see me awake, and I wondered if I had somehow regressed ten years. Andrian''s father broke into a huge grin.

    "Good to see you with your eyes open, kiddo," he said before calling behind him, "Andri, he''s awake!"

    I heard what sounded like a chair falling over and Andrian appeared in the doorway almost instantly. When he saw me looking back at him, he rushed over to my bedside and grabbed my hand.

    "Falyn!" he exclaimed, his eyes brimming with tears, "A-Are you okay? You''ve been asleep for days."

    I nodded that I was okay, amazed to hear that I''d been out for several days..

    "Shit, I was so scared," Andrian continued, "I wasn''t sure if you were going to wake up..." He looked at me with the eyes of a lost child as his tears began to flow. Impulsively, he wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face in my stomach. I cradled his head and squeezed for a moment before letting my arms fall to his shoulders. I looked up at his father helplessly.

    "He''s been like this since you got here," he said with a slight shrug. "We were all worried, but Andri took it especially hard. Anyway, I''m glad you came out of it okay. This is Andri''s old room, just redecorated. That bed is there to replace the old pile of blankets.¡± An image came to my mind of a huge sheet forming a tent hanging from the ceiling and the giant pile of soft blankets underneath, all on top of a round furry rug. I remembered this bedroom. The realization of where I was brought a smile to my face. Andrian''s father visibly relaxed when I smiled, and he added quietly, "Welcome back. From what I''ve been told, you''ve been to hell and back since I last saw you. No pressure, but if you want to talk about it, I''m here. You have been like a second son to me and my door will always be open to you."

    I appreciated his words, more than he could know. I''d awoken with the knowledge I''d been missing and a clear memory of the dream I''d had before I woke up. I knew I''d succeeded in departitioning my mind, but I wasn''t sure if that meant I could speak. To be honest, I was a little afraid to try. But if I could, I wanted to tell him my story. It would be easier than talking to Andrian, who I didn''t think could stand to hear it, and more comfortable than talking to Estra, who was more of a doctor than a friend.

    As if summoned by my thoughts of him, Estra chose that moment to come check on me. Unlike the other two, he looked very unconcerned, even a little smug.

    "Ah, good evening Falyn. I see you woke up just when I was expecting you," Estra greeted me pleasantly, but shot a displeased look at Andrian, who was still kneeling beside me, hugging me. "You didn''t want to wake up for us, but I couldn''t find any cause for concern in your magical flow. I predicted that you would wake up sometime tonight, and I see that I was completely correct. Now, are you feeling any negative effects? Dizziness, headaches, disorientation?" I shook my head at the symptoms he listed. I felt surprisingly good after all. Estra nodded and said, "Andrian, make yourself useful and get him some porridge." Andrian jumped at the sound of his name, but quickly nodded at Estra''s command. "Aleksander, you should help him. I''d like a few moments alone with my patient." For a moment I was confused as to who Aleksander was, but then Andrian''s father nodded and left the room with his son.

    "We''re alone now, so be honest with me, are you feeling any after-effects?" he asked me again.

    I shook my head again.

    "What about your mental state?" he followed up, "and more than that, do you think you can speak? You were screaming a lot earlier, although I don''t think you were even aware that you were doing it. Now that you are calm and conscious, can you use your voice?"

    I thought about it for a moment and decided to give it a try. I opened my mouth and tried to make my voice come out. "Ah-" was as far as I got before I started coughing. My face turned red as I choked and gagged, tears streaming down my face. Estra quickly grabbed the glass of water from the bedside table and handed it to me. I drank it down to soothe my raging throat.

    Estra rubbed my back as my coughing fit subsided. "Easy, easy," he said to me, "you haven''t used your voice in a long time and you overused it quite badly before you collapsed. The fact that you can make some noise is enough. You may need some speech therapy, but I have full confidence that you can make a full recovery from here. He gave me a gentle smile and added, "Actually, I''m rather impressed. Your rate of recovery is unprecedented. Do you remember anything from when you were unconscious?"

    "Y-yes," I croaked. My voice sounded dry and harsh, with a strange whistling sound to it, but I managed a full word this time. My throat hurt and I coughed again. Estra hurried out of the room and returned quickly with a jug of fresh water. He filled my glass and I gulped it down. By the time I finished the water, I was gasping for breath, dizzy from coughing and quenching my desperate thirst.

    "I would like to hear about your experiences someday," Estra said after waiting for my breathing to settle. "Not in the near future, mind you. But one day, when you''re ready to talk about it, come tell me what you saw in your visions."

    "Yes... onnne... day..." I tried to respond properly, but my voice was raspy and my mouth wouldn''t move the way I wanted it to. I didn''t cough this time, but my throat raged at me for forcing my raw, damaged vocal chords to keep working.

    Andrian returned with porridge for me to eat. He lifted me into a sitting position and insisted on feeding me one spoonful at a time. It was a little embarrassing to be fed like a baby, but I couldn''t help but like the way Andrian took care of me. I felt my strength returning as I ate, but soon I was overcome by another wave of drowsiness. Andrian started to panic when he realized that I was falling asleep again, but Estra intervened and assured him that this time I was just tired.

    The room emptied except for Andrian and I. He climbed into bed with me and gave me his arm for my pillow. I cuddled up to him, gratefully. As I started to drift away, I mustered the last of my energy to whisper, "A-Andri..." I felt his body stiffen in surprise at the sound of my voice. "Thannnk...you..."

    I think he would have responded, but I was asleep before I could hear his reply.

 Chapter Twenty Six

    I woke up the next morning still in Andrian''s arms, with the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the air. I sat up in bed and looked down at Andrian, who had opened his eyes as soon as I moved.

    "Good morning," he said with a lazy smile.

    "G-Goo-" I tried to answer, but started coughing as soon as I tried. Fortunately, there was still water at the bedside. He poured me a glass and rubbed my back while I coughed. My throat ached. I quickly realized that I wouldn''t be able to regain my voice so easily. In my mind, now that I had access to my voice, that meant I should be able to talk. I was clearly wrong. I could only manage a few words at a time, and my throat hurt with each attempt.

    "No need to push yourself," he reminded me, "it''ll get better in time. I wouldn''t be surprised if you damaged your vocal chords before."

    Estra had mentioned something similar before, something about overusing my voice. I had vague recollections of crying and screaming, but I thought most of it was in my head. I must have given them all a lot of cause for concern these past few days. I screamed and yelled enough to hurt myself, and then I didn''t wake up for a few days. I wasn''t even sure how many days it had been. I hoped I hadn''t put us too far behind in our travels.

    ¡°Smells like dad is boiling coffee. Do you want me to bring you some or do you want to try getting up?¡± As he asked, he patted the bed and pointed at the door, creating a way for me to answer without trying to speak.

    I pointed at the door without hesitation. I¡¯d been in bed for at least two, possibly three days, so I didn¡¯t want to waste another day laying around. Besides, I was hungry. All I¡¯d had in those few days I was asleep was that small bowl of porridge the night before.

    Andrian nodded and said, "Alright," before getting out of bed and walking over to the closet. When he opened it, I could see clothes on the inside and our two travel bags on the bottom. He pulled out clothes for both of us and threw them on the bed. Instead of starting to get dressed himself, he turned to me and added, "Give me a moment and I''ll get something so we can wash before breakfast."

    I nodded and he disappeared out the door, returning almost immediately with a fresh basin and cloth. I reached for the cloth, but he stopped me by holding out his hand.

    ¡°Let me take care of you,¡± he insisted, ¡°Just take off your shirt and I¡¯ll do the rest.¡±

    I agreed, but felt shy as soon as I¡¯d removed the shirt I was sleeping in. I sat back down on the bed, my face feeling suddenly hot. He took the cloth and began wiping up and down each of my arms before moving to my shoulders and back. The water was pleasantly warm, and everywhere he wiped had goosebumps from the cold air hitting my skin once he was done.

    After he finished with my back, he knelt in front of me and began to wash my chest. Even though there was a cloth separating his hand from my skin, the whole experience felt incredibly intimate. He worked his way down my chest to my stomach, looking up at me questioningly when he reached the waist of my pants. Understanding what he was asking, I lifted my hips to allow him to remove them.

    As the air hit my exposed lower half, I felt a jolt of shock as I realized I was naked on Andrian''s bed. However, the faint sounds from outside the door told me that we weren''t going to do anything but washing me. Andrian took my foot and began wiping it before massaging my calf with the cloth and moving up to my knee.

    "Mmm..." As he began to wash my thigh, I couldn''t help but make a small noise. Embarrassed by my reaction, I covered my mouth with both hands. The heat I felt in my face increased tenfold and crept down my neck to my chest. I wanted to hide under the blankets. Andrian just chuckled and moved on to my other foot.

    By the time he reached the thigh of my other leg, I was prepared enough not to make a sound, but I couldn''t hide how breathless I was under his hands. It was different from before. My heart still pounded at his touch, but I didn''t feel any of the instinctive fear I''d felt before. He squeezed my inner thigh gently for a moment and gave it a final little rub. It felt good. I wanted him to touch me more, but as soon as he was done, he stood up and planted a kiss on my head.

    "All done. I''ll have to make sure to wash you again when there''s no one on the other side of the door," he said with a wink, "but you should get dressed before you catch a cold. By the time I''ve finished washing you should be safe to leave the room." With that, he took off his own shirt and dipped the cloth back into the water.

    I was confused for a moment. Safe to leave the room? Why wouldn¡¯t it be safe? I wondered what he meant by that, right until I looked down and realized I was in no shape to be seen by others. I was pretty sure my entire body turned bright red at that point and I once again considered hiding under the blanket. I hastily donned my new clothes and waited on the bed for Andrian to finish washing.

    I was ''safe'' to leave the room before Andrian was finished. The main room of the house looked much as I remembered it. All redwood from floor to ceiling, just like the bedroom. There was a metal box in one corner that burned wood to keep the house warm, and another in the other corner that was lit for cooking. The one for cooking had a flat piece of metal on top that served as a stove. Two long countertops made of the same redwood extended from either side of the stove, with storage above and below. One counter ended in another metal box, which I realized I recognized as an icebox, a box enchanted with magic to stay cold all year long for the purpose of storing food. We had ice rooms in Vrayna that served a similar purpose, but the ice had to be collected during the winter and stored in a deep dungeon for year-round use. There was a redwood table and chairs for eating, a large couch that matched the table for sitting, and a couple of huge round cushions on the floor that looked big enough for a lion to curl up on. Everything, right down to the coat racks, was exactly as I remembered it.

    ¡°Good morning kiddo,¡± Andrian¡¯s father greeted me from beside the stove. He was tending to a large pot that seemed to be the source of the coffee aroma. Shidah and Luxania were already sitting on the couch drinking from steaming cups. I smiled and gave him a little wave to say good morning. Andrian went over to the stove and began ladling two more cups out of the pot.

    ¡°Estra left this morning to send word of our late arrival. He said you would be ¡®perfectly fine¡¯ without him and he should be back by tomorrow morning,¡± Luxania volunteered as I accepted my steaming mug from Andrian. Beastland coffee didn¡¯t remind me at all of what I was given at the Royal Palace. It smelled almost the same, but it looked entirely different. I took a sip and my eyes widened in surprise. It was sweet. Luxania laughed, ¡°First time you''ve tasted coffee that isn''t that horrible concoction you humans call coffee?"

    "Humans make coffee by pouring hot water over ground beans, right?" Andrian''s father inquired. I nodded that he was right. "Come on over, I''ll show you." He waved me over to the stove. It seemed that the coffee pot was pretty much empty. He placed the used pot in the sink at the end of the counter opposite the ice box and pulled a new pot out of the cupboard. He prepared the coffee as he explained, "First, you take the coffee beans and crush them into smaller pieces with the handle of a cooking knife and toss them in the pot. You want a small handful of beans for each cup. Next, add some boiling water and let it simmer. While it simmers, add a few spoonfuls of honey and a handful of vanilla beans." He walked over to the ice box and pulled out a pitcher. "And once it''s simmered for a few minutes, we add some milk and wait for it to boil again." He poured a mug''s worth of milk into the pot and put the pitcher away.

    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    I took another sip of my coffee. The sweet and creamy flavour made a lot more sense now. I couldn¡¯t believe I ever enjoyed the bitter, acidic version I drank previously.

    "If you like, I can also show you how to make spiced milk tea," Andrian''s father offered and I smiled and nodded.

    "I hope you don''t mind, but I''m planning on taking Falyn out today," Andrian interrupted before his father could start showing me another recipe. He quickly looked at me and added, "If you''re up for it, that is." I nodded.

    "Of course we don''t mind," Shidah replied, "We''re here until Estra gets back anyway. Go have your fun."

    "You''ll stay for breakfast though, right?" Andrian''s father inquired.

    "Yes, we''re having breakfast. Falyn hasn''t had a proper meal for days," Andrian replied. I was glad to hear that. I was willing to go wherever he wanted to take me, but I didn''t want to go on an empty stomach.

    We each took one of the big round cushions on the floor and waited for his father to prepare our food, just like when we were kids. I felt a warmth deep inside me that I''d forgotten I could feel. This was what home felt like. It was a good feeling.

    It wasn¡¯t long before breakfast was ready. With incredible efficiency considering the lack of the cooking tools that were so common in Vrayna, Andrian¡¯s father had prepared us heaping plates of game meat sausages fried in a pan and small round cakes grilled directly on the flat top of the stove. I took a hint from how the beastmen ate and spread honey on the grill cake before wrapping it around one of the sausages. Before I knew it, I¡¯d eaten four servings and was left feeling overfull. After such a long fast and only a bowl of porridge the night before, I¡¯d been hungry to the point it reminded me of when I was starved by my father. I couldn¡¯t help but keep eating until I could burst when I remembered the hunger pangs and the fear I¡¯d be left to die like that. I didn¡¯t mean to overeat so much. My hands and mouth just moved without me thinking about it. I felt a little ashamed of myself, despite the beastmen all eating at least six. I was pretty sure that Shidah had eaten twelve.

    Once my stomach had settled and I''d learned how to make spiced milk tea, Andrian led me out of the house. We walked hand in hand towards the forest. I was a little nervous. I''d heard that monsters roamed freely in the Beastlands. I knew that Andrian had brought a sword, just in case. In Vrayna, the monsters only came out at night, and mostly in the deep part of the forests. I had a feeling it had something to do with the borderland, the magical barrier that was supposed to keep magic out of Vrayna. It was a known fact that the magic of the borderland had deteriorated over time. It was the reason why Vrayna and the Beastlands had begun to come into direct contact again. The borderland had existed for almost two hundred years. It had remained unchanged for the first hundred years, but after that, it had slowly deteriorated. Fifty years ago, monsters began to appear, and twenty years after that, humans accidentally came into contact with the beastmen again. Perhaps Vrayna''s lack of natural magic made the monsters weaker, or perhaps there was some real power behind the Golden Palace and the King of Vrayna, chosen by the gods. Either way, the monsters in the Beastlands weren''t limited to the night so I felt like I should be on alert.

    Andrian, on the other hand, seemed confident as we walked down a narrow path. It looked very familiar to me, but I couldn''t quite put my finger on why. I assumed it would come to me as we walked. All my different memories were present, but they were still integrating, and I couldn''t recall things as I pleased. Some things would come to me at random moments, others were still a mystery waiting to be revealed. It was comforting, though, to know that it was all there. My assumption was that even people who never had a memory lapse didn''t have perfect recall of every moment. Memories weren''t perfect, they were intangible, coming and going with the flow of current reality. Otherwise, people wouldn''t forget to do things or suddenly remember what they forgot to do.

    Andrian left me alone with my thoughts as we walked through the familiar and strange forest. The forest of the Beastlands looked nothing like the forests of Vrayna. Both forests were lush and full of vegetation, but the Beastland forest was brighter, greener, and the underbrush was incredibly dense, filled with large plants with giant drooping leaves, ivy traps, and the most vibrantly colored wild flowers I¡¯d ever seen. I realized that this was where Andrian and I first met.

    I was completely lost. What was I going to do? I was pretty sure that I had passed through a weaker part of the borderland, so weak that I didn''t even notice it, and was in beast territory. Mom would kill me! Which way should I go to get back? The trees here were so lush and leafy that they completely blocked out the sun, which I was pretty sure was at noon anyway. I had no means to orient myself and wandered aimlessly through the trees.

    I thought it would be a grand adventure to see the borderland with my own eyes, but I didn''t notice it at all. Instead, I walked right through it. I only realized that something was wrong when the vegetation changed. It became more lush, more colorful, and the sounds of the forest creatures were all different. It was when I heard the call of an unfamiliar bird that I realized what I''d done. When I tried to retrace my steps, I only became further lost in the dense jungle of Beastlands.

    I wasn''t sure if I was imagining it or not, but I felt like there were things watching me from the trees. I imagined monsters and wild animals just beyond my line of sight, waiting to devour me. I was terrified. I''d never been so scared before. It was awful. I started sniffling and hiccuping as I walked, and eventually I sat down with my back to a huge tree and started crying my eyes out. Forget about seeing the stupid borderland, I just wanted to go home!

    I heard a rustling in front of me and looked up, afraid of what I would see. My tears immediately stopped, but the ragged breaths and hiccups were not so easy to stop. I found the source of the noise and was relieved to see it was a small lion cub. It wasn''t a monster, and it was too small to see me as prey. I was probably safe, but I was still tense and frightened as it approached me. It walked right up to my side and made a strange sound, halfway between a growl and a normal cat''s meow, and then gently head-butted the side of my arm. If it were a normal cat, that would be a sign that it wanted to be pet, so I reached down and rubbed the little cub''s head. It took a step back and looked confused at the hand on the back of its head, but it allowed me to continue stroking it for a moment. It was soft. Although the creature was at least twice the size of the largest barn cat, it was absolutely adorable.

    I calmed down a bit with the cub by my side, and I found myself telling it how I''d gotten lost and didn''t know how to get home. I didn''t know why, but I felt like it could understand me. It nuzzled me and acted like it wanted to comfort me. I hugged the little lion and refused to let go. It stayed with me without fuss until a much larger lion came running out of the trees. I was terrified that he was going to attack me because I had touched his little cub. But then the larger lion turned into his human form and I realized my mistake. There was a person inside that little lion cub. No wonder it looked confused when I treated it like an animal. So the little cub was a lion beastman, and he was really trying to comfort me. His father told me he''d make me something to eat and then show me the way home.

    "Falyn?" I heard Andrian call to me. I realized that I had stopped moving at some point and was just staring into the trees.

    I cleared my throat carefully and slowly said, "Here... where we... mmmet."

    Andrian''s eyes twinkled and he replied, "Yes, we''re almost at that big old tree. I knew I wanted to take you back here when I suggested we visit. Just a little further." He held out his hand and I took it. He began to lead me a little faster through the narrow path in the thick underbrush. After a few moments, we came to a small clearing, centered around a tree that dwarfed the already large trees around us. Yes, that was the tree.

    I walked over and touched it. On impulse, I sat down with my back against it, just like the day he found me. I held out my arms to Andrian and waited for him to join me.

    "You''re adorable," he said as he hurried to me. Seeming to know what I wanted, he laid down and rested his head on my chest with one arm wrapped around my stomach. I hugged him tightly and relaxed against the tree. I was still a little worried about monsters, but I was able to push that to the back of my mind. Instead, I focused on the sights and sounds of the thriving jungle and the warmth of the man in my arms.

 Chapter Twenty Seven

    Soon we were heading down another forest trail. We sat under that tree for a long time. Andrian allowed me to just hold him and peacefully enjoy the moment. As the sun began to rise high in the sky and we were nearing the end of the final movement of ascent, we got up and made our way toward our next destination. I didn''t know where we were going and Andrian just told me it was somewhere I would remember and that we would have lunch when we got there.

    We moved easily through the thick underbrush, following the animal trails and the beastman-made passages. We had no encounters with monsters or predatory animals on our journey, but I did see groups of brightly colored birds and a group of small monkeys chattering at us and throwing things to scare us away. They were harmless, and their righteous anger made me and Andrian laugh as we hurried past.

    After we''d walked for nearly a whole movement, the jungle began to thin and I was led to a large clearing that I remembered well. This clearing was where Andrian and I used to play when I came to visit. The space was a field with tall grass and wildflowers growing in abundance. There was a river running through the clearing, leading to a waterfall at the far end of the field. I knew from my memories that the waterfall was safe to jump from, and that there was a cave behind it that I''d never ventured into.

    The field also had some special features built for us by Andrian''s father. That''s right, I knew his name was Aleksander, I realized as he crossed my mind, he knew my name was Falyn, but he always called me ''kiddo''. And he either called Andrian ¡®kiddo¡¯ as well, or ¡®Andri¡¯ when he called him by name. Andri was the name I called the cub once we¡¯d been properly introduced. And Andrian¡¯s father told me to call him Uncle Alek. I can¡¯t believe it took me until now to remember that. How could I forget?

    ¡°Annndri.¡± I said his name aloud, frustrated with how my tongue kept feeling like it got stuck on the top of my mouth when I made certain sounds. It wasn¡¯t only my voice that was out of practice. What few words I could muster were consistently coming out slurred.

    ¡°Yes, Falyn?¡± he asked, smiling when he heard me saying his name. He probably didn¡¯t know that I¡¯d forgotten the name ¡®Andri¡¯ until now.

    ¡°H-here¡­ we plllay¡­ I¨C¡± I started coughing roughly before I could say anymore. Andrian was quick to grab a waterskin from his small backpack and hand it to me. I ended up coughing water all over myself before I was done. Eventually my sputtering died down. Andrian and I looked at each other and then I looked down at my soaked shirt. Somehow the whole situation struck me as funny, and I began silently giggling at the mess I¡¯d made. If I hadn''t laughed, I might have cried instead. I¡¯d regained my voice and all I could manage was to sound like a drunken toddler before choking half to death. I felt like the butt of someone else¡¯s joke, so I might as well laugh along through the frustration of it all.

    Andrian surprised me by laughing along with me. ¡°It¡¯s nice to see you looking happy,¡± he commented, ¡°I know you¡¯re feeling frustrated, but it¡¯s good to be able to laugh a little at your own situation. Look on the bright side, it¡¯s warm out and it¡¯s just water anyway. If you want, before we leave, let¡¯s jump off the falls like we used to. Think you''re up for it?¡±

    Something about him asking me if I was up for it roused my competitive spirit. When we were little, we would have races, where we would run across the field, jump the falls, and see who could reach the shore first. In the early years, I never lost a race, but as Andrian got bigger, I was often defeated. I knew he was asking me if my current body could handle it, but all I heard was a challenge. I nodded with enthusiasm to his question.

    He smiled a wicked smile and said, ¡°I can see what you¡¯re thinking. There¡¯s no way you could beat me now. Not in that, nor in any of our other old challenges.¡±

    I knew he was teasing me but I couldn¡¯t help feeling indignant. He was right of course, but he could humor me a little. It wasn¡¯t my fault that I was weaker than I used to be. I scowled up at his smiling face.

    ¡°Let¡¯s have some lunch and then we¡¯ll see what we can do. Nearly everything survived the war and the years of neglect. Dad¡¯s better than most professional builders. The only thing we¡¯ve lost is the top platform, which we think was knocked down by a tree in a storm,¡± Andrian pointed to a high point in one of the trees, the one I¡¯d usually avoided anyway.

    I looked at the playground that Uncle Alek had built for us. A collection of twenty, now nineteen platforms, all connected by swinging wooden bridges, rope ladders, and rope swings. Two of the platforms had steep slides that led to the ground and another with a slide that was wrapped tightly around a wooden pole. Rope fencing was hung on the upper platforms to ensure no one would fall.

    The top platform, which was no longer usable, had a long pole that you could slide down to get back to the ground. Along with the platform, I could see that the pole had also fallen. When we first found this field, it was just an open space with a waterfall, but Uncle Alek had slowly built the platforms over the course of a couple years. For a while, a new platform would be added each time I came to visit. As an adult, I had a better appreciation for how much work it must have taken him to build all of this single handedly.

    Andrian led me to the base of the playground, which was a large deck on the grass, wide enough for us to spread a small blanket and sit down to eat. It seemed that, unbeknownst to me, Andrian had packed and planned very carefully. He had laid out a collection of containers containing strips of dried meat, cheese, slices of flatbread, and chopped fruit. Along with our water skins, he also packed a skin filled with juice made from crushed berries and honey. The juice had been a favorite of mine in my childhood.

    We ate and drank slowly, savoring the moment. I felt like I was living a dream. It seemed incredible to be back in this place. I had so many good memories of this place, and I was happy to know that we were going to make a new one as well. I relaxed and enjoyed the simple picnic fare as the wildflowers swayed gently in the breeze. It occurred to me how much had changed since we were young. I used to be the bigger one, and Andrian was the one who couldn''t talk. I wanted to laugh out loud at how our situations had reversed. Maybe that was why it was so easy for him to figure me out. Thinking about it that way made me feel a little less guilty towards him.

    When we finished eating, it was time to play. I was excited, but a little worried that my years of inactivity would hinder me along the way. I wasn''t weak, but I didn''t have a lot of stamina. However, I had no intention of letting that stand in my way.

    ¡°Let¡¯s start easy,¡± Andrian said with a glint in his eye, ¡°First one to the bottom of the slide wins.¡±

    I grinned and nodded. I was ready for a race, but I had a condition before we started. I crossed my arms and said,¡±Lll¨Cllionnn.¡± I hated how hard it was to get that word out, but I tried not to dwell on it. One step at a time. For now, we were here to have fun.

    Andrian raised his eyebrows, ¡°Lion, huh? Well I guess that would make this a proper rematch.¡± He shifted into his lion form. I raised my hand with three fingers up and counted down. When my last finger dropped, we both ran for the platform. I realized the folly of my decision immediately. His adult lion form was huge and his speed was incredible. As a lion, not only was he faster, but he could leap impressively high. I watched helplessly as he leaped from platform to platform, able to completely skip over the obstacles. He was sliding down his slide while I stood there with my mouth agape. I felt cheated.

    Andrian shifted back to his human form and sauntered back over to me, looking all too pleased with himself. ¡°I think I won the rematch,¡± he said, ¡°does that mean I get a prize?¡±

    I put my hands on my hips and narrowed my eyes. He wanted me to give him a prize after completely showing me up like that? I didn¡¯t necessarily expect to win, but I was completely abashed to learn I couldn¡¯t even compete.

    ¡°Please? Pretty please?¡± he begged with a dejected look I knew was fake. I continued giving him an aggrieved expression and he continued giving me sad eyes until we both broke down laughing.

    ¡°Wa-hat?¡± I asked him once I was done laughing.

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    ¡°A kiss,¡± he replied without hesitation, ¡°In fact, that¡¯s the prize I¡¯ll claim every time I beat you.¡± I narrowed my eyes again. He was probably going to beat me in everything regardless, but he didn¡¯t have to point it out so readily.

    Grudgingly, I nodded. I moved close to him and planted a loud kiss on his cheek. That was all he was getting out of me for now. Or so I thought. Andrian clearly thought differently, and caught my arm while I was still in the middle of my retreat.

    ¡°You know that wasn¡¯t the kind of kiss I meant, right?¡± he asked me in a low voice. He pulled on my arm and drew me in closer, pressing our foreheads together. ¡°When I said I wanted a kiss, I meant a real kiss. One where your lips touch mine. Probably some tongue. Maybe some heavy breathing too... Or do you not want to kiss me anymore? Do you dislike kissing me now that I can beat you? Hmm?¡± He released my arm so he could hold my face with both his hands and gave me a pouty look.

    His teasing gave me butterflies, which only made his comment about beating me all the more annoying. I grabbed his shirt collar and tugged. Andrian allowed me to pull him down and I aggressively pressed my lips to his, fighting not to laugh at his surprised inhale. Taking advantage of his surprise, I pushed my tongue into his mouth and grabbed the back of his head with my free hand.

    Andrian quickly recovered from the shock and wrapped an arm around my waist. I continued to kiss him for another couple moments before pushing him back. That was enough of a kiss for his first win.

    ¡°Hmmm¡­ I suddenly feel very motivated to keep winning,¡± he teased in a tone that made my knees weak. ¡°What should we try next?¡±

    The afternoon passed quickly as we rediscovered all of our favorite games and challenges. I didn''t fare any better against Andrian''s human form, but I have to admit that I had a lot of fun, even though I kept losing. We behaved like little kids and laughed quite a bit, and Andrian never once forgot to claim his prize from me. Each victory kiss became more and more heated, and I began to wish I could lose faster.

    I guessed from the sun that it was close to the third movement of descent when we started wrestling in the tall grass. Andrian was in his lion form and we were running and chasing each other, trying to knock each other down and rolling through the soft grass. Andrian had the advantage of power and ability, but I was smaller and could duck and dodge him rather well. When we were young, he was the smaller one and always wriggled out of my pins, so this time I used his own tricks against him.

    Eventually, he recognized his own tactics at work and was able to successfully pin me on my back. The giant lion stood on top of me, trapping each of my limbs with an enormous paw. The lion roared loudly, silencing the chatter of the nearby birds. Looking up at him, he was majestic and powerful. And smug, he was also smug. His face was the face of a lion who¡¯d tasted victory. Andrian¡¯s human face had the same expression. The lion shifted back into its human form and Andrian looked down at me from his position of victory.

    I was surprised when he didn¡¯t claim his victory kiss, and instead looked down at me consideringly. ¡°Falyn,¡± he began cautiously, ¡°I know we grew up together and you¡¯ve always treated me like a person no matter which of my forms I¡¯m in but¡­ are you really okay with the part of me that¡¯s a beast? I haven''t been very considerate if it''s something that bothers you.¡±

    I was surprised by his sudden question. I¡¯d never really considered it before. Andrian was just Andrian. Whether it was the little cub Andri from my memories or the strong, handsome man in front of me, he was still just Andrian. I was only attracted to his human form, yes, but the existence of his lion half wasn¡¯t a problem for me.

    ¡°You¡­ Allll parts¡­ j-j-jeeust you,¡± I answered him with honesty before a coughing fit took me. Too many words when I was already out of breath and in need of a drink.

    My limbs were released from Andrian¡¯s hold and he went to grab my water skin. By the time he handed me the skin, my coughing had subsided and I drank deeply of the water to soothe my aching throat.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Andrian said, abashed, ¡°I shouldn¡¯t be asking such questions when I know it''s hard for you to answer. You¡¯ve shown me in so many ways that you accept me, but I still question myself sometimes¡­ I¡¯m scared you¡¯re going to resent me someday. There¡¯s a part of me that keeps telling me I¡¯m taking advantage of your situation and forcing you to accept me.¡±

    I had no idea he felt that way. I thought I¡¯d shown him that I shared his feelings, but without words, I could see that it wasn¡¯t enough to make him feel secure. I felt bad about my own failings in this, but a part of me was secretly happy. His insecurity made me feel just a little bit more secure.

    ¡°I know it isn¡¯t fair to you, but I can¡¯t help it. I guess I want you to reassure me so I can ease my own conscience¡­¡± He looked down at the ground as he searched for his next words. I waited patiently for him to organize his thoughts. After a few moments, he said, ¡°I¡¯m not a human like you are and I¡¯m afraid you¡¯re secretly disgusted by that. I know you aren¡¯t like that but there¡¯s this nagging voice inside of me that tells me you hate it when I touch you, that you¡¯re only going along with it because you¡¯re scared of me.¡±

    I vehemently shook my head no. There were so many things I wanted to tell him, but I couldn¡¯t sum any of it up with only a few simple words. This seemed to be more than just regular insecurity. Unfortunately I could understand where that insecurity had come from, given the experiences the beastmen had with humans up until now. I remember the disdain I felt from the vast majority of the Vraynian nobles at the engagement banquet. We both ignored it at the time, but I know Andrian heard it as clearly as I did, the hushed, condemning whispers.

    Come to think of it, I don¡¯t know what the majority of the Beastlands think about humans. Just like the First Prince and the eastern Duke, are the beastmen I¡¯ve met the small minority, and the rest of them hate humans? From how he told it, Andrian openly talked about his plan to join the delegation to look for me. If most beastmen dislike humans, they probably would have said things like that to him. Considering what the humans have done so far, if they didn¡¯t hate us before, they should hate us now. It hadn¡¯t occurred to me that the beastmen might not be any more favorable to our relationship than the humans were.

    ¡°I wish I could tell what you¡¯re thinking right now,¡± Andrian lamented, interrupting my thoughts, ¡°but I¡¯m just happy to see you say I¡¯m wrong. You¡¯re my everything and I¡¯d do anything to keep you, but only if you want to be kept. When I needed someone the most, you appeared and became a part of my life. When you disappeared, finding you became my only purpose. Now that I¡¯ve found you¡­ I don¡¯t know if I could handle losing you again. I guess I¡¯m just scared you¡¯re going to change your mind.¡±

    You silly man! You found me when I needed you as well! I couldn¡¯t understand how he didn¡¯t see it. Then and now, there¡¯s no difference. We were both there for the other in our times of need. Where would I be now if you hadn¡¯t appeared and became a part of my life again? I thought hard about how to express myself and finally settled on simply saying, ¡°Mmme¡­ too.¡±

    Andrian jumped at me, knocking me over, and wrapped me tightly in his arms. He squeezed me tightly for a few moments, until his pounding heart began to settle. It had probably taken a lot of courage for him to bring that up. I vowed to work hard to improve my speech so I could clearly tell him how much he meant to me.

    It didn¡¯t take long for him to feel better and start teasing me again. With his lips close to my ear, he softly reminded me, ¡°You still owe me a prize for that last victory, but I¡¯m going to claim it later.¡± He planted a kiss on my cheek and added, ¡°I¡¯ll claim it after we jump the falls. First one to the far shore wins. I¡¯ll expect an extra special bonus prize if I win this one too.¡±

    The way he said that made my knees feel a little weak. I ignored that feeling and wiggled my way out of his arms. I walked towards the treeline, which was the usual starting point. Andrian followed me over and we got ready to race. My body wasn¡¯t used to all this exercise, so I was already sore and tired. With the spring sun high, it was surprisingly warm. I realized I was covered in sweat, dirt, and grass as well. Suddenly the cold water at the bottoms of the falls was calling me.

    We stood at the ready and made eye contact. Andrian gave a slight nod and we began pushing our way through the tall grass towards the cliff overlooking the falls. We had to pass through the most overgrown sections of the field when everything was at waist height and it was impossible to run at all. We both tripped a few times as we tried to scurry through the grass. I wasn¡¯t sure, but I thought this time I might have a chance at winning. Andrian stumbled a little more than I did, which cancelled any speed advantage he had over me.

    We cleared the grass and raced toward the cliff. My lungs felt as if they were about to burst, but I still needed one last gulp of air before I hit the water. We both leapt from the cliff at the same time, Andrian¡¯s strong legs propelling him much further out than mine could manage. I took a deep breath as I fell and prepared for impact.

    Even though I was prepared for it, the cold water was still a shock to the system for me. My eyes shot wide open as soon as I was underwater and I barely managed to keep hold of the air I¡¯d taken in. I saw Andrian crash into the water in front of me and start sinking. I realized this was my chance. His added weight would hamper him and he¡¯d take longer to recover. I started swimming with all my might towards the shore. It was a lot harder than I remembered, but I managed to get ahead of Andrian as I came to the surface. I gasped in a couple breaths of air before pushing forward. My swimming skills were diminished to the point that I could only use a basic paddle motion, but I kicked hard and drove myself towards the shore. I heard Andrian breaking the surface somewhere behind me, but I wasn¡¯t taking the time to look back and check. I swam as hard as I could until I felt like I might drop from exhaustion. Just before I reached my breaking point, I reached the shore line instead.

    I turned to check behind me right as Andrian was catching up to me. Despite my fatigue, I couldn¡¯t help but grin. I''d won.

 Chapter Twenty Eight

    The ledge we called the shore was a shallow pool off to the side from where the river continued. The water was low enough for me to stand with my shoulders above the surface. I looked up at Andrian with a gloating face. I had finally beaten him at something.

    Without warning, he grabbed my waist and pulled me in so he could press his mouth to mine. The cold water had made his skin cool to the touch, but his mouth was hot as it devoured my own. The combination of hot and cold made me lose my mind for a moment and all I could do was cling to his wet clothes and let him do as he pleased.

    He kissed me so deeply that it left me breathless. Tongues tangled and breaths intermingled endlessly and I melted into his embrace. For a moment, nothing existed for me but his hot mouth and the chill of the wet clothes being pressed against my skin by his body. When he finally pulled away, my head was spinning.

    ¡°That was the victory kiss you owed me,¡± he whispered into my ear. He¡¯d released me from his arms, but he didn¡¯t move away from me. All I had to do was lean forward and our bodies would be pressed together. ¡°I want to give you a special prize too¡­ There¡¯s something right nearby that I want to show you. I¡¯ll give you your prize when we get there. Will you come with me?¡±

    Mesmerized by his sweet voice, I nodded without thinking. In that moment, I¡¯d have followed him anywhere. We climbed out of the water and he took my hand and led me towards the waterfall. The hot sun felt pleasant as it warmed my cold clothes. We walked around the waterfall and behind it to the side of the cliff. Above me was the entrance to a cave that we¡¯d never been able to explore.

    ¡°I was sixteen when I finally managed to climb up there. I can¡¯t make the jump in this form, but I can do it as a lion,¡± he explained. ¡°I can get myself up there then reach down to pull you up.¡±

    I¡¯d spent almost an entire afternoon trying to figure out a way up there at one point, but in the end, we were both too small to get up. I was still too small now. It was about eight feet above and the cliff was smooth, with no indentations to use for climbing. Recalling how Andrian¡¯s lion had conquered our old playground, I had no trouble believing he could do it.

    He shifted into a lion and backed up a bit before taking a running leap and landing easily at the mouth of the cave. Before I could even blink, Andrian had shifted again and was holding his hands down to me, ready to pull me up. I couldn¡¯t help but marvel at how convenient it must be to have two forms like that.

    We grasped each other¡¯s wrists and he hauled me up. What I saw when I reached the top was amazing. The cave was shallower than I¡¯d expected, only extending ten feet into the cliff. What had amazed me was that it wasn''t just a hole in the rockface. There wasn¡¯t any actual rock visible at all except for the far edge on which I stood. The whole space was covered in a thick, soft-looking moss, and ivy with hundreds of white flowers growing out of it decorated the walls. It was like nothing I¡¯d ever seen before.

    ¡°The moss is thick and healthy,¡± Andrian commented, ¡°and you can walk on it without disturbing it. Come inside.¡± He gently pulled my hand and led me inside. The ceiling was higher than I expected and decorated with the same ivy. The flowers seemed to give off some kind of light, and I felt like the sun was still shining on me. When I looked behind me, all I could see beyond the cave door was the waterfall cascading down. It was as if we¡¯d entered into a strange, magical space. Perhaps we had, since the Beastlands were full of strange magic. Either way, it was beautiful.

    While I was mesmerized by my first glimpse of the inside of the cave, Andrian was watching my reaction. When I came out of my daze and found him staring at me, I felt a familiar heat creep up my cheeks.

    "I had the same reaction the first time I came up here," he said with a wistful smile, "I promised myself that one day I''d bring you here and show you. I''m willing to bet that you and I are the only two people who know about this place. I can''t help but think that it was left here for us to find.

    I knew he was just trying to make it sound romantic, but I wanted to believe that it was true. A special place that no one knew about, a place that was meant to be ours. Our secret space.

    He hugged me from behind and asked, ¡°Do you like it?¡±

    I nodded that I did. It was one of the most incredible places I¡¯d ever seen.

    ¡°I had a feeling you would.¡± He pulled me a little closer and in a soft voice he said, ¡°So here we are. Just the two of us in this pretty little cave.¡± He began massaging my side gently. ¡°There¡¯s no one on the other side of the door now¡­¡±

    My heart jumped as he said that. I thought back to the morning and the rush I¡¯d felt as he washed my body. It definitely wasn¡¯t a bad feeling.

    ¡°I owe you a prize for beating me down there, don¡¯t I?¡± he asked in a seductive whisper with his lips right next to my ear. His breath on my skin made me shiver and I felt myself being swayed by his words. ¡°Will you let me give you your prize?¡±

    He practically purred that final question and nipped my earlobe. My knees went weak for a second, but Andrian held me in place. He continued to suck and bite my lobe, making it impossible for me to think about anything but his touch.

    When I didn''t respond, he turned me around and asked me again, "Falyn, yes or no, do you want your prize?"

    He held me spellbound with his eyes and I knew what my answer was. I just had to say it. I averted my eyes and answered in a soft voice, "Y-yes..."

    As soon as I finished speaking, he stole my lips and kissed me passionately. Before my brain had a chance to process what had just happened, I was swept off my feet and found myself laying on the soft moss of the cave floor. My heart felt like it was going to explode and I felt dizzy from his intense kisses. Whenever he pulled back for a moment, I''d gasp for air and then my mouth would be seized by his insistent lips again.

    Our clothes were still wet and the fabric was cold enough to make me shiver. But then I felt my shirt being peeled off and my upper body being lifted. My shirt was soon gone, tossed into a corner of the cave. Andrian laid my body back down. The moss was soft and pleasant against my skin. My only concern was the man above me, who looked at me like I was his prey. He trailed his fingers up and down my sides, watching my reaction intently. Goosebumps broke out all over my body and I writhed under his touch. It felt good, but I was nervous. Just how far was he wanting to take this?

    "Don''t look so nervous," Andrian coaxed me, "I won''t do anything scary, I promise. This is supposed to be a prize, remember? If you don''t like it, just tell me to stop."

    I nodded and he observed me for another moment before he slowly leaned down and kissed me tenderly. It was sweeter than before and I relaxed into him as the kiss continued. He slowly tasted me and continued to run his fingers up and down my sides. Every now and then the fabric of his shirt brushed against my skin, sending shivers through my body. In contrast to his warm hands and hot lips, the cold wet fabric kept bringing me back to reality.

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    Noticing how I jumped every time his shirt brushed against me, he pulled away for a moment to pull it over his head and toss it aside. When he came back down, he pressed his lips to my neck. He began slowly kissing his way down to my collarbone before gently biting me and working his way back up to meet my lips again. He tangled my tongue with his for a brief moment before trailing his lips down the other side of my neck.

    "Nngg-aah," a strange noise came out of my mouth as he bit down a little harder where my neck met my shoulder. I bit my lip, embarrassed by the sounds I was making, and heard Andrian chuckle as he licked and sucked his way down my chest. He licked a circle around one of my nipples before nipping the nub with his teeth. I felt my whole body jerk in response to his touch. He''d touched me like this before, but it was with his hands and through my clothes. The sensation of his mouth on my bare skin was on an entirely different level.

    I realized that, despite my awful introduction to such things, this was probably how it was supposed to be. Hands, lips, and tongues being used to bring pleasure to one¡¯s lover, not pain. Beneath the surface, I felt a flash of rage towards the people who had made me view it with fear. But I didn¡¯t have time to dwell on it as Andrian moved his mouth across my chest to the other little nub that was waiting for his attention.

    It went on like that for a long time. Andrian sucked and bit tirelessly on my chest, waist and shoulders, leaving his mark on every inch of me that he could. I soon stopped being embarrassed by the noises he elicited from me quite quickly because they kept coming out, again and again, and it was easier to let myself go. Every noise I made only encouraged him, and he became more and more relentless with his touches. Time passed in a blur as I lost myself in the constant sensations that washed over me. There was only him, me, the soft moss beneath me, and the sound of the waterfall.

    At some point, I began struggling with the desire for him to do something more. I didn¡¯t even fully understand what I wanted from him but I was burning with the need for some sort of relief from the pressure I felt building inside of me. His incessant touches began to frustrate me. I liked it, but I couldn¡¯t take any more. I¡¯d never felt anything like this before. This intense, burning desire was new to me, and it was both frightening and delicious.

    Finally, when I thought I might run out of unmarked skin, Andrian finally pulled his mouth away and looked down at me. I looked back at him, half delirious and desperate. Seeing me in that state, he smiled in a way that made my heart pound uncontrollably. His fingers traced the top of my pants, and he gave me the same questioning look he¡¯d given me when he¡¯d helped me wash that morning. My mouth was dry as I lifted my hips to help him remove my cold wet pants. They were tossed aside like our shirts and I was exposed to the warm cave air. I averted my eyes, suddenly shy now that I was laid bare in front of him.

    Andrian didn¡¯t move at first. I could feel his gaze on me, burning into me, and I allowed my eyes to be drawn back to him. In his heated eyes, I also saw a hint of nervousness. Was he afraid I¡¯d push him away again?

    He lifted one of my legs up and rubbed his hand over my calf and up to my knee. I shivered and returned his heated eyes. He lifted my leg a little higher and kissed my ankle, keeping eye contact as he caressed and kissed his way up my calf to my knee. I couldn¡¯t hold his eyes any longer and closed mine as I let out a small sigh. He gently placed my leg back down and lifted the other one to rub and kiss his way up to my knee. My whole body felt like it was on fire.

    He began rubbing the outside of my thighs and leaned down and softly whispered into my ear, ¡°It¡¯s not over yet. If you''re enjoying this, I can do something you''ll like even more. Shall we continue?¡±

    Mesmerized by his seductive tone, I found myself nodding without thinking. Andrian began to lick and suck his way up the inside of my thigh, stopping to leave a mark on the delicate skin of my inner thigh. He let go of the leg he was holding and moved back to the other one, repeating his way up to my inner thigh.

    As he bit down on the soft flesh, I found myself gasping and struggling against some unknown force inside of me. There was still one part of me that he hadn¡¯t touched yet. I burned with a desire for him to touch me there as well. There was no fear, no anxiety. All I could feel was a desperate need for more. Seeing my frustration, Andrian stopped nibbling my thigh and slowly traced his finger up my length, which had been painfully hard for some time now.

    ¡°Aah¡­¡± Just that one touch was enough to elicit a small noise from me. My hips jerked as he pulled his finger away. He watched me intently for a moment before touching me again, this time using three fingers to caress me from base to tip. I shuddered and arched my back as I tried to follow those fingers as he pulled them away. I felt as if I were losing my mind, those brief touches only adding fuel to the fire.

    Finally, he wrapped his hand around me and began to stroke up and down. Having never even touched myself there before, the sensation of his hand rubbing up and down my length felt so intense that I couldn¡¯t keep myself from moaning and jerking my hips along with his strokes. I¡¯d never felt anything like it before, this intense pleasure that I didn¡¯t know how to handle. It was almost too good. It was somehow frightening, as if something was building up inside me that I couldn''t control.

    I was so distracted by the sensation of his hand that I didn''t notice his head moving. When he took the tip of my erection into his mouth, I didn¡¯t fully comprehend what was happening. All I knew was that something warm and wet had enveloped me, and it felt better than anything I¡¯d experienced before that. He licked and sucked my tip just like he did with every other part of me before he started taking me deeper into his mouth.

    He moved his hand away and swallowed most of my length in one swift motion. I had to fight with myself to stay still as he lifted his head before slowly sucking me down again. As he bobbed his head up and down the pleasure I¡¯d felt before began building again, faster and more intense this time. My body moved on its own, pushing against his shoulders, trying to escape the thrill of his touch. It was too good. My brain wasn¡¯t willing to accept the overwhelming sensations my body was feeling.

    Suddenly that intense pleasure I felt was gone. What replaced it was the resulting ache of having been so close and yet left unfulfilled. I looked up at him with an aggrieved expression, not understanding why he¡¯d stopped so abruptly.

    Andrian laughed softly, ¡°Did I misunderstand? I thought you wanted me to stop.¡±

    I realized then exactly what had happened. I felt myself flush and I struggled to come up with a response. He did misunderstand, but it was somehow too embarrassing to admit I¡¯d panicked because it felt too good. However, my shameful blush combined with my twitching lower half gave it away without me saying a word. He lifted himself up to look down at me.

    ¡°Did you like it a little too much? ...Then should I keep going, even if you try to push me away? Hmm?¡± He spoke playfully, but I knew he was going to make me answer the question regardless. My face burned a deep crimson as I turned my head to avoid his gaze, then closed my eyes tightly and nodded.

    The next thing I knew he was taking me in his mouth again, swallowing my entire length down his throat. This time I let myself go completely, gasping and making little noises, savoring the intensity of each new sensation. The pleasure built, taking me higher and higher until it became so overwhelming that I felt like I was going to explode. I began to push against his shoulders again, struggling to escape the building pressure. Taking me at my word, he didn''t let me push him away and I soon let out a ragged cry as I reached the first climax I''d ever experienced. For a moment everything went white and I felt as if I was floating. I was vaguely aware that my body was still lying on the moss in the cave, with the roar of the waterfall in the background. I felt Andrian''s throat tighten as he drank what I had released when I reached my climax. Then he kissed his way back up my body before releasing me completely. I lay panting, staring at the flowers and ivy that decorated the ceiling of the cave.

    Andrian lay on his side beside me, smiling lazily as I turned to look at him. His face was hazy in my vision as I gazed at him contentedly. I finally understood. This wasn''t just a pleasant dream that would be over when I woke up. Everything before was just a nightmare that I had finally woken up from. This was the way it was meant to be.

    "You have time to take a nap before we need to head back," he said when he saw my tired eyes. I hadn''t realized it until he said it, but a nap sounded like exactly what I needed. "I''ll dry our clothes while you close your eyes."

    I nodded and closed my eyes, my body relaxed and cushioned by the soft moss beneath me. I heard Andrian moving around before he left the cave with our wet clothes. It wasn''t long before the sound of the cascading waterfall lulled me into a peaceful sleep.

 Chapter Twenty Nine

    Andrian woke me up with a set of warm, mostly dry clothes and told me we had to start making our way back. I couldn¡¯t have been sleeping for very long, as the sun was only just beginning to make its descent below the horizon, but I felt well rested from my short nap. I stretched my limbs, which felt languid and relaxed.

    I dressed myself, noticing how stiff my garments felt from being laid out on the rock to dry in the sun. Thankfully, Andrian had thought to bring my socks and shoes, which I¡¯d discarded before we jumped the waterfall. When I was dressed and ready, we left the cave, which was much easier to climb down from than it was to climb up. Once I was hanging by my arms from the mouth of the cave, it was only a little more than two feet to the ground, a drop I could easily manage.

    Andrian looked disappointed when I said I didn¡¯t need his help, but I had no intention of jumping into his arms like a child. Instead, when we were both back at the base of the fall, I jumped on him, kissed him and hung from his neck. He smiled broadly and hugged my waist, his earlier disappointment completely forgotten.

    If it weren''t for the sun setting on the jungle around us, we might have gotten distracted, but time was of the essence now. It was safe enough in the light, but once the sun had set, this was not somewhere we wanted to be. Though not restricted by daylight, I recalled that the monsters of the Beastlands were even more active at night. Plus, there were the predatory animals that hunted at night. Andrian could handle himself, but I had no combat skills to speak of and would have to be protected the entire time. I promised myself that I would work hard to make it so that was no longer the case.

    After the joining ceremony, we¡¯d have three moon cycles of respite before we had to travel back to Vrayna for the human wedding, and I intended to use that time well. I wanted to learn some basic fighting skills as well as explore Estra¡¯s offer regarding learning to be a shaman. It would be good to have goals and learn new skills. As we followed the narrow trail through the trees, I felt more alive than I had ever felt before. The tension I had carried with me all this time was gone.

    The sun dipped below the horizon and the forest quickly became darker than we¡¯d have liked. The trees made it so that the embers of the sunset didn¡¯t reach us, so it was almost completely dark within half a movement¡¯s time. In the end, I was simply too slow as I stumbled along the path, getting caught on stray branches and tripping over roots and ivy. I had to admit that I couldn¡¯t keep up or it would take multiple movements for us to get back to Uncle Alek¡¯s house.

    When Andrian suggested that he carry me, I agreed, not wanting to let my pride put us in danger. When he gave me the choice of riding piggyback or in his lion form, I chose the latter. Much like jumping out of the cave, accepting the piggyback seemed too much like something a father would do for his child. I may not have been as big and strong as Andrian, but I certainly wasn''t a child.

    Unlike when I rode a horse, there was no saddle to ride on, so I had to squeeze him tightly with my thighs and grab handfuls of his mane to make sure I didn''t fall. Andrian moved carefully at first, making sure I was comfortable and wouldn''t fall, then he began to move faster, covering the distance in a fraction of the time it would have taken me on foot. As we leapt and bounded through the forest, I couldn''t believe I had even considered likening this to riding a horse. Horses kept all their feet on the ground and followed the lead of their rider, but this was more like flying through the trees, and Andrian was in complete control of our movements. I trusted him to keep me safe, though, so I watched the darkened trees pass us by and enjoyed the rush of our high-speed travel.

    We arrived at Uncle Alek''s house as twilight was settling in. Dinner was just about to be served when we got back, so we quickly changed and sat down at the table. Shidah had gone hunting while we were away, and there was a mountain of freshly grilled meat on the table with various sauces to go with it. A thick vegetable stew had also been prepared as well as flatbread and lightly charred potatoes baked directly in the fire. My stomach growled as I inhaled the scent of the meat and I loaded my plate.

    A few bottles of wine, made from a mix of grapes and cherries were passed around the table as we ate our dinner. It was delicious when sipped while eating the meat, and I ended up drinking more of the wine than I¡¯d intended. After dinner, we moved to the sitting area and more wine was brought out. Someone poured me a glass, but I barely touched it, as the room was already spinning from what I had drunk with dinner.

    I lay on one of the round cushions with an overly full belly, dizzy and content. I was happy to quietly listen to the others as they talked and laughed loudly, late into the night. Thanks to the warmth of the fire and the pleasant ambient noise, I was lulled to sleep with a smile on my face. At some point I felt myself being picked up and put into bed, then a big warm body wrapped itself around me and I drifted back off, not waking again until morning.

    Estra returned in time for breakfast the next morning, which was served midmorning due to everyone sleeping in after drinking all night. We ate the same type of pancakes as the morning before, this time with a thick fruit jam and heaping piles of scrambled eggs. I stuffed myself again and helped with making a few pots of that delicious milky coffee from the previous morning. After we¡¯d ate and drank our fill, it was time to pack up and get going. I was sad to be departing so soon. The previous day had been one of the happiest I¡¯d ever known, and even though I was excited to see more of the Beastlands, I was regretful that our time here had been so short.

    ¡°Hey kiddo, come with me for a moment.¡± While everyone was packing up, Uncle Alek pulled me off to the side. ¡°I wanted to talk to you before you leave.¡±

    The others told me not to worry about helping pack up, that they could take care of it while we talked. He led me out of earshot, over to a gravel clearing in the middle of the yard. We sat down on some redwood chairs he¡¯d set up near a large outdoor fire pit in the center of the gravel.

    "I hope I''m not overstepping my bounds, but I wanted to make you an offer," he said with a serious face, "I know a little about human wedding ceremonies, and I understand that usually the parents have a role to play... anyway, I''ll be there as Andri''s father, but I want to be there as your family as well."

    Even if words had come easily for me, I still would have been rendered speechless by his offer. Family. It was a wonderful word.

    ¡°I never told you this, but I was very grateful to you back then,¡± he continued, ¡°Andri¡¯s mom and I weren¡¯t on the best of terms, and I took this assignment to stay out of her hair. No one could have predicted that she¡¯d pass so early and he¡¯d have to come live out here with me. Especially when I had to leave on patrol, I worried about how lonely my boy was. Waiting for your next visit was often what got him through the worst of it.¡±

    My heart ached a little when I heard that. His words made me remember the way Andrian would jump on me as soon as he saw me. I wished I¡¯d visited more often when I thought about how excited he was whenever I came. It was a bittersweet feeling, knowing he¡¯d looked forward to seeing me that much.

    ¡°Back then, I didn¡¯t think a human would appreciate me saying something like this, but seeing you now, knowing what you¡¯ve been through¡­ I hope I''m right, that even if you say no, you won''t mind me saying this. Human, beastman, it doesn''t matter to me. I''ve always considered you to be a part of our family and I hope you¡¯ll be willing to think of me, not as ¡®Uncle Alek¡¯, but as a parent,¡± he said somewhat awkwardly. My eyes brimmed with tears at his request.

    ¡°You¡­ m-mmy¡­¡± I answered him as best I could, but I couldn''t think of a way to proper express how happy I felt. In my younger years, I''d longed for a father, and in more recent years, I''d prayed for a different one. I almost couldn''t believe that there was someone who wanted to be that person for me.

    ¡°I¡¯ll still be your parent by tradition regardless, once you¡¯ve had the joining ceremony,¡± he laughed, ¡°but I don¡¯t want that to be the only reason. Normally, we call the parents of a joined partner by name, but I hope you will feel comfortable calling me dad.¡±

    I nodded, not trusting my voice. I hadn¡¯t realized how desperately I wanted someone who would be a real father to me, nor did I know I desired a real family so much. After life with my father, I didn¡¯t think I could even hope for such a thing.

    ¡°Don¡¯t just nod at me,¡± he jokingly scolded me, ¡°the correct response is ¡®yes dad.¡¯¡±

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    I couldn¡¯t help but grin at that and managed to say, ¡°Yes, d-dad.¡±

    He ruffled my hair and barked out a laugh, ¡°Much better, kiddo. I¡¯ll be at the joining ceremony too, but I¡¯ll be leaving a few days behind you. For now, looks like they¡¯re all ready and waiting for you, so we better head back over and get you going.¡±

    We departed from there, with me back in the saddle of my own horse. The journey to the trading city would take us another week, and we¡¯d arrive with only a few days to spare. Along the way, we would pass through the largest lion village, which was a common stop for travelers coming from both north and south on their way to the trading city.

    The first day, we saw nothing but jungle. A road had been built through it, a marvel all on its own. Luxania explained how they¡¯d used a mixture of magic and might to clear the way through the trees and underbrush so travelers could always find their way. The road connected all of the villages on the western border, creating a clear way through the densest parts of the jungle. After clearing the endless trees, we would enter into the desert that occupied the central region and into the southern region of the Beastlands. The center of the desert, she told me, was a barren wasteland that was almost impassable. Travel between the eastern and western trading cities was done by detouring through the more temperate parts of the south, or by traveling further north. In the far east, the desert would eventually give way to the vast expanse of the eastern grasslands, which bordered the forest on the edge of the wildlands. No one knew how large the wildlands actually were, but they spanned the entire eastern border of the Beastlands and across the northern landscape to Vrayna. There were theories that the wildlands extended across the southern seas as well.

    So the road we were traveling on connected all the western villages, as well as every other village in the Beastlands, to the two trading cities. The idea of one giant road to connect everyone was almost beyond the scope of imagination for me. The work and time that must have gone into creating such a thing was incredible.

    The day passed quickly as they all took turns talking to me, trying to get me to use my voice. At first, I was reticent with my words, but I grew more comfortable as the day progressed. I forgot my embarrassment about having difficulties with certain sounds and my raspy, unpleasant sounding voice. But the more I tried, the easier it became. With only a day''s worth of real practice, I was no longer getting stuck on certain consonants and could more clearly articulate what I wanted to say. However, I could only manage small sentences and had to take many breaks when my throat began to hurt from the effort.

    Estra explained that beast cubs suffered the same difficulties when they first took human form. After years of hearing others speak, they knew all the words, but their mouths had trouble making the sounds. It was supposed to be a great source of frustration at first, knowing the language but not being able to speak. Everyone in the group, except Andrian, had experience with freshly changed cubs and helped me the same way they would help those cubs.

    Our first night we camped in a clearing in the jungle. Unlike our camps on the Vraynian side, tonight''s camp required us to take turns standing watch in case we were attacked while sleeping. I was informed that I didn''t need to stand watch since I couldn''t do much anyway. I hated that they were right, but I accepted the situation as it was.

    After dinner, Estra still insisted that I come to his tent, this time for a different type of treatment. He told me that, even if I was doing better and feeling good, I still needed to continue with some form of therapy to work my way through what I¡¯d experienced. I saw no point in arguing, as he was probably right. I felt like I was making a lot of breakthroughs, which probably meant I¡¯d have to deal with the backlash at some point.

    Estra set up a different kind of space for us that night, one with two cushions laid out on the ground surrounded by a large circle of candles and stones. He had me sit cross legged on one of the cushions, and began a familiar chant as he wafted smoke throughout the tent. At one point he¡¯d explained to me that the smoke, infused with his magic through the chanting, would chase out negative energies and protect us from outside intrusion. Throughout our time together, he¡¯d taught me how to open my third eye on my own, so I could do it without the assistance of the crystals. We were both curious to see what would happen now that I was trying this within the Beastlands, where magic flowed freely.

    "Now remember what we did before," he guided me with the voice of a teacher instructing his student, "look inside yourself and find your place of power. Feel it, embrace it, but don''t bring it out yet. First, let it emerge from its hiding place and saturate your soul. Feel it build up in every fiber of your being and hold it there."

    I followed his instructions. The first time I¡¯d tried it without the crystal, I¡¯d struggled to find that place of power, eventually finding it gathered in a space near where the fog used to be. Now that it wasn¡¯t stuck guarding the partition and was being fed by the natural magic of the Beastlands, it came out right away. I felt that power, the one that sent shivers down my spine and made me feel aware of everything, emerged from within me with a single thought. The rush was more intense than it was before. I felt giddy, almost electrified. Was something like this truly living inside me?

    ¡°Don¡¯t look too excited,¡± Estra cautioned me, ¡°it feels like a lot of power right now, but your magic is only in its fledgling state and you couldn¡¯t do anything with it regardless. That energy burst is only because you are new to this. You have potential, but you''re like a cub discovering for the first time that it has claws. One day, you could be capable of defending cities, but right now you merely have something small and sharp that you don¡¯t know how to use. No different than someone learning the art of the sword, either. This is a skill that you must practice.¡±

    I tried my best to listen to him through the buzz of magic running through my veins like lifeblood. He was right and I knew it, but it felt so strong as it coursed through my untrained body that had never felt powerful before.

    "Now slowly open your third eye and focus on experiencing what is around us," he instructed, "today is not about training, it is about connecting and exploring. Feel everything around you as deeply as you can. Smell the smoke in the air, try to feel the worms in the ground below you, feel your clothes against your skin."

    He called it my third eye, but it didn''t feel like opening an eye at all. It was more like popping the cork on a bottle of wine. As soon as I released my hold on it, the energy overflowed from within me and expanded to fill the area within Estra''s barrier. Everything felt alive and vibrant. I felt at one with the smoke, the worms, and my clothes.

    "Very good," he said, sounding pleased, "you have a surprising amount of magic energy for a human. It''s still on the low end by beastman standards, but there''s room for some growth still. You''ll never be able to compete with the great shamans, but you could learn enough to treat the sick and injured. If you have any knowledge of human science, that could be a great asset as well. We''ve only learned about this thing called a pharmacy, and it would be a great boon if we could learn more about mixing herbs. It is my belief that because of your lack of magic, humans have far surpassed us in the development of traditional medicines."

    I was grateful for the library that existed in my wing of the house. If I was certain Albrecht was out of the area, I would spend hours there collecting books for my room. There were many books on history, politics, and science, alongside many fictions about intrigue, romance, and adventure. I¡¯d read almost all of them, though mostly as a means of relieving boredom, so I wasn¡¯t sure how much useful information I could remember.

    ¡°Now, I¡¯m going to open my third eye and release my own magic into the area. What you want to do is allow our two energies to mingle. We¡¯re going to connect ourselves so I can tune into what you¡¯re feeling. Once we¡¯re connected, we¡¯re going to have a conversation about some of the things you¡¯ve rediscovered, and we¡¯ll see how you¡¯re really doing,¡± he explained to me as I felt his magic slowly encroaching on mine. ¡°All you need to do is relax and trust me. You can feel my energy now, yes? And it probably feels a little uncomfortable?¡±

    I nodded. It was very uncomfortable. Invasive. I didn¡¯t like this feeling at all.

    ¡°That feeling is normal,¡± he said, ¡°which is why you have to relax and trust me. When two sets of energy meet, they need time to get used to each other. I know what to do, so if you can let your guard down, I¡¯ll guide you from there.¡±

    I took a deep breath and encouraged myself to accept that invasive burst of energy. Almost instantly, the uncomfortable feeling went away, followed by a feeling of being extremely aware of the owl beastman in front of me. I felt a bizarre sense of understanding about him. He viewed me with sympathy and as his own personal science project. His intention to help me was genuine, but not without an intense personal interest in what he could mold me into. He viewed me as a challenge and a good deed all rolled into one. He also wanted me to get better so I could be used to prove that the humans started the war on purpose. I wondered what he saw in me when our magic connected. Regardless, our interests were aligned and he meant me no harm. That was all I needed to trust him in this. His smile widened when I decided that, and I realized that he could definitely read me as clearly as I could read him.

    ¡°I¡¯m glad you see it that way,¡± he said, ¡°I will help you begin the process to regain, recover, and rebuild yourself, and start showing you how to use your magic energy properly. I¡¯ll also help you find a teacher among the shamans in the lion village when we pass through, so you can continue after we¡¯ve parted. I¡¯m curious to see just how much one broken little human can accomplish. I¡¯ll be cheering you on. Especially when it comes time for you to deal with that nasty man who calls himself your father.¡±

    I felt his loathing for my father as he spoke, something else we both agreed on.

    ¡°Let¡¯s talk about that right now actually,¡± Estra segued back to the purpose of the night¡¯s visit, ¡°since most of what you partitioned has to do with him anyway. Your father, how do you feel about him?¡±

    ¡°...him. Hate him.¡±

 Chapter Thirty

    I surprised myself with my words, but I knew them to be true. I hated that man. I feared him too, but now that I was free, the fear had faded into the background. The man that had stolen my mother, my happiness, my entire life. I¡¯d lived in fear because of him for so long. More so, there was Albrecht. He was a vile and vicious man, but he listened to my father. My father allowed him to torment me all those years.

    ¡°Good, feel that,¡± Estra asserted, "there is nothing wrong with feeling negative emotions. You''re allowed to be angry. You''re allowed to hate someone like him."

    Estra¡¯s words comforted me quite a bit. There was a part of me that felt guilty for hating him. I knew it was illogical, but he was my father. Even if he was despicable, wasn¡¯t it wrong to hate my own father?

    "Part of overcoming trauma is acknowledging that you''ve been wronged and that it wasn''t your fault," Estra continued, "what else? How did he make you feel when you were with him?"

    ¡°Angry. Afraid¡­¡± I trailed off and thought for a moment. ¡°Sad.¡±

    ¡°Very good,¡± he said, ¡°so you hate him because he makes you feel angry, afraid and sad. Those are good reasons. Do you think you can tell me more?¡±

    His questions kept coming for some time. It was hard to express myself, limited both by my speech and my own stunted emotions. I understood better why he said I needed additional treatment. The more we talked, the more agitated I became, frustrated by my limitations and upset from thinking too hard about my father. Estra eventually decided that we¡¯d talked enough, but the process had left me both mentally and magically drained.

    Using our magics to connect us was useful to Estra, who could observe the flow of my energy to guide the conversation in the right direction, but it was difficult for me, who had minimal magical energy to use. The effort it took to keep my so-called third eye open for that long had pushed me to my limits. Talking about my father was both harrowing and liberating. Sometimes I felt like I was doing something wrong and that maybe he¡¯d be waiting outside the tent to punish me for speaking ill of him. I was still partially convinced that if Estra knew the full truth of how I¡¯d lived, he¡¯d be disgusted by how pathetic I was. Then he¡¯d tell Andrian and Andrian wouldn¡¯t want me anymore. Estra said it wasn¡¯t my fault and that I was allowed to hate my father¡­ but wouldn¡¯t he ask why I never stood up for myself, why I never ran away? I wondered if he¡¯d say it was all my fault because I wasn¡¯t strong enough. But I couldn¡¯t voice any of that, nor did I want to. I tried to tuck those thoughts away and hide them so Estra wouldn¡¯t find out.

    I went back to my tent and found Andrian waiting for me on top of his sleeping bag. As soon as I saw him, most of my anxiety melted away. Andrian loves me. He¡¯s cared about me and wanted me since we were young. He won¡¯t just discard me because of what I¡¯ve been through¡­ Seeing him in front of me, I was reminded that he was the one person who never gave up on me. He was the safe place I¡¯d been longing for.

    Concern was written all over his face when he saw my haggard appearance. I flung myself at him without thinking, seeking solace in his warmth. He hugged me tightly without saying a word and I started unabashedly sobbing into his chest. The build up of emotions from my time with Estra overflowed from my eyes and I cried for a long time.

    Andrian let me get it all out of my system before asking me, ¡°Did something happen?¡±

    ¡°Just too much,¡± I responded as I tried to calm my breaths and regain my composure.

    ¡°Am I allowed to ask more?¡± Andrian inquired cautiously.

    ¡°You¡­ can ask,¡± I told him, ¡°Might not say.¡± It was the best I could give him at the time. There was a part of me that wanted to tell him everything, to pour out my heart and be laid bare in all my damaged glory. But that was a small part of me compared to the part of me that was ashamed of who I was. When I thought of my father, who could only see me as a disappointment and undeserving of love, I felt like I wasn¡¯t good enough for Andrian.

    "Then... Honestly, I don''t even know what to ask you. There''s so much I want to know, but I don''t know where to start or how to ask you," Andrian paused for a moment and then said, "I guess I want to know everything. I want to know what it is that you''ve been going through these past ten years. I already have an idea, and I know it won''t be easy to talk about it, but... I want to know all of you. But for now, can you tell me why you were crying like that?

    I thought about it for a moment before answering, ¡°Talked about father¡­ bad but¡­ Fe-¡± My words were cut off for a moment by my coughing. I¡¯d used my voice a lot throughout the day and my throat felt dry and sore. At that point, it even hurt to breathe. Andrian offered me a waterskin and I drank deeply. After a time, I felt like I could continue. ¡°Felt¡­ safe here. Safe to cry.¡±

    Andrian grabbed me impulsively and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. "I''m glad you feel safe with me," he whispered hoarsely into my hair, "if you need to cry or scream or anything, you can do it with me."

    ¡°Father¡­ hated¡­ me¡­¡± I spoke carefully to avoid triggering another coughing fit. My voice came out raspy and rough. ¡°We¡­ talked¡­ that¡­¡±

    Andrian nodded and said, ¡°I understand. You don¡¯t have to say any more. One day, I¡¯m going to make that piece of shit pay for everything he¡¯s done.¡± Andrian finally released me from his tight embrace and I could breathe again. He touched my cheek gently and looked at me tenderly. "I''ll never let him or anyone else hurt you again."

    ¡°Andri¡­ I¡­ want¡­ be strong¡­¡± I responded honestly, ¡°Not¡­ be protect¡­ Protect self¡­¡±

    Andrian considered my words for a moment and replied, "If that''s what you want. I admit, I like the idea of taking care of you for the rest of our lives... but if you''d rather, I can show you how to protect yourself instead."

    "Yes!-" I replied a little too enthusiastically, triggering another coughing fit that left me gasping for air. This one was more violent than the previous one and lasted until I thought I might pass out. With every cough and gasp, my throat burned and ached. I knew it was a sign I needed to stop trying to talk. I gestured to my neck and shook my head.

    "We should get some sleep anyway," Andrian said, understanding my meaning, "If you want, you can get up with me for the watch and I''ll start showing you the basics of using a sword. But be warned, it''s going to be really boring and I won''t go easy on you. We''ll have to start with the beginner basics, so it''s going to be a lot of things to do with stance, posture, and how to actually hold the sword".

    I was delighted by his offer. When we were first reunited in the Palace, he held me on his lap like a small child and coddled me quite a bit. At the time, those protective instincts made me feel safer than I had in a long time, but I didn''t want to be dependent on someone for the rest of my life. I¡¯d thought I¡¯d have to wait until after the joining ceremony to start learning, so this was an unexpected head start. I was glad that Andrian offered to help me rather than trying to talk me out of it.

    We wrapped ourselves in a single sleeping bag, more than large enough to accommodate both of us if we cuddled, and we lay down for the night. Once I was wrapped in his arms with my eyes closed, a wave of fatigue washed over me. I was completely exhausted from the day¡¯s events. Sleep almost immediately claimed me and I knew no more until I was shaken awake by Andrian to join him for his watch.

    It was predawn when we got up and I struggled to open my eyes. Naturally, Andrian offered to let me sleep, but I declined and forced myself to awaken from my slumber. The sky was still dark and I could hear rustling coming from the nearby undergrowth and howling off in the distance. We set ourselves up by the fire that had been tended by the watches before us. Shidah, who was on his way to his tent to get some more sleep, was surprised to see me up, but didn¡¯t comment or ask any questions.

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    That morning I received my first lesson in swordsmanship. He was right that it was very boring and he definitely didn''t go easy on me. I was shown stances and basic movements then instructed to repeat them over and over again until my muscles were burning from the effort. Gone was my kind and gentle Andrian, and in his place was a stern and demanding war general who left no margin for error. The gap between General Andrian and my Andri was intense. This was the first time I¡¯d seen that side of him, but I was grateful for it. The change in his demeanor assured me that he was taking this seriously and wasn''t just humoring me.

    To my disappointment, I didn''t even get to touch a sword. He gave me a stick to practice with, citing that I hadn''t earned the honor of holding a sword yet. First I had to train my body and mind and learn how to take care of a sword. He said that if I did well, he''d get me a sword once we were settled, a couple weeks after the joining ceremony. It seemed unfair that I had to wait for weeks just to practice with a real sword, but he was adamant that we shouldn''t rush the process.

    As the sun began to rise, I flopped down by the fire, sweaty and sore. Our games at the old playground hadn''t left me nearly as tired as the last couple hours did. At first, the movements felt light and easy, but after hours of maintaining a rigid posture and repeating those movements over and over, I felt like I couldn¡¯t even lift my arms properly.

    Andrian told me to rest a bit and went to wake up the others. Everyone emerged from their tents yawning. Estra, who had taken the first watch and otherwise had a good night''s sleep, looked the brightest of the group, but Luxania and Shidah both had dark circles under their eyes from getting up in the middle of the night. Seeing how miserable they both looked, I felt too guilty to stay planted on the ground and watch them work. I got up and began to help prepare our breakfast. While I was boiling oats in a pot of water, Shidah gathered giant handfuls of berries and threw them directly into the pot, along with more honey than I thought was necessary. However, when I tasted the berry porridge, I realized that the berries were on the bitter side, and the honey balanced it out nicely. We started a second pot to boil water for a more basic version of the coffee I was now very fond of. Just crushed coffee beans, vanilla beans, and honey, since milk was cumbersome to travel with, even if it could be magically preserved. The hot drink soothed my throat.

    We packed and left as soon as breakfast was finished. Riding was painful for me, my overused muscles ached and I winced in pain as my horse trotted lightly down the road. I gritted my teeth and didn¡¯t complain. In as few words as possible, I asked to be left in silence for the day, and Andrian explained on my behalf about the coughing fits and how bad my voice sounded last night. There wasn¡¯t a single part of me that didn¡¯t hurt in some way.

    The others kept up a steady stream of chatter throughout the morning, asking me questions that I could answer with a nod or a shake to keep me in the conversation. We stopped for lunch at a lake right as the sun reached its highest point in the sky. Getting off my horse was a relief and I flopped down on a pile of soft long grass to give my muscles some reprieve. By this time everyone knew that I''d gotten up with Andrian to start training. They all expressed their sympathy for me, who was learning from Andrian, who was known to be brutal in training his soldiers. They left me to rest and prepared our lunch after leading the horses to the water.

    They took the time to build a small fire and make some flatbread. Luxania pulled out some cheese and dried meat strips, as well as honey and fruit jam for the flatbread. After lunch, it was agreed we¡¯d stay long enough for everyone to bathe properly in the lake. That evening we would be arriving in the lion village, where we could spend the night in a proper inn instead of tents. Over lunch, I received a geography lesson regarding the areas we would pass through. The southwest was mostly lion territory, further to the south was the tigers, and to the north of us were the other cat species. Each species had a collection of smaller villages, with a larger village somewhere in the territory. The outskirts of the territory was where the rangers resided. The rest of the army passed through the main town of the cat territory, which was a large city by Vraynian standards, a day''s ride north of where we were traveling.

    When we were done eating, the beastmen shocked me by stripping off their clothes and jumping naked into the lake. Andrian seemed unsurprised, but to me, their behavior was borderline scandalous. In Vrayna, one was expected to keep their whole body covered at all times, and women would never undress in front of men. Thus, Luxania became the first woman whose body I had seen. Slighter but more rounded than a man, I couldn¡¯t help but stare at the swell of her hips, the sway of her breasts, and how she was very much not a man. I knew women were different of course, but it had never occurred to me just how different they were. Once I realized how intently I was looking, I hurried to look away, but Andrian had already caught me. I flushed red, terrified he would misunderstand my reaction, but he just laughed at my obvious embarrassment.

    "You don''t allow your males and females to be undressed together, do you?" Andrian asked me to confirm. I shook my head with wide eyes and he laughed. ¡°When we take on our beast forms, we are naked anyways, so we don¡¯t see the point in being worried about showing our human forms to each other.¡±

    I watched as Luxania dove into the water alongside Estra and Shidah, none of them showing any concerns about each other¡¯s nudity. It was hard to comprehend how free the beastmen were with such things. A man could disrobe in front of other men to bathe, yes, but if a woman showed her body like that, then she would have no recourse if the men accepted what she offered. But Estra and Shidah showed no interest at all in Luxania¡¯s body.

    ¡°Think about it this way,¡± Andrian explained, ¡°Shidah and Estra both have no interest in Luxie as a potential mate, so clothed or unclothed doesn¡¯t matter because they don¡¯t think of her in that way. Her being naked doesn¡¯t change that. Did it change how you feel about her?¡±

    I shook my head no, and considered what he had said. He was right that I felt no different having seen her body, but I thought men simply couldn¡¯t control their urges in situations like this. Everything I had been taught up until now told me that.

    ¡°Humans associate nudity exclusively with sexual relations, but beastmen do not. Our beast halves are always naked, so it doesn¡¯t mean anything if our human halves are too. Even if sexual desire is present, we don¡¯t feel the object of that desire should have to change their behaviour to accommodate that,¡± Andrian looked out toward our three friends in the lake and added, ¡°But if you don¡¯t feel comfortable, you and I can go further down the shore to bathe.¡±

    What he was saying made sense. I felt no urges at all when I looked at Luxania¡¯s naked human form, only curiosity about something I¡¯d never seen before. Besides, I¡¯d experienced enough by now to know that a man certainly could control his sexual impulses if he wanted to. In Vrayna, if a woman was assaulted by a man, it was up to her to prove she didn¡¯t seduce him before Royal authorities would do anything at all. Most of the time it would be deemed the woman¡¯s fault regardless, as men can¡¯t control such things and the woman should know better. It was up to the woman to ensure she didn¡¯t have her chastity taken and, if it was, she would be considered tainted and dirty. The only thing I¡¯d feared as much as Albrecht¡¯s attentions was the idea that I could one day become like him. Because in Vrayna, rape was considered something men couldn¡¯t help but do. Yet in the Beastlands, a woman was entitled to autonomy over her body, even if she was completely naked in front of a man. It was a strange concept to me, but I was beginning to understand that Vraynian values were more twisted than I originally knew.

    I thought for a moment and answered him honestly, ¡°Not uncomfortable¡­ hard to explain¡­ Vrayna different¡­ but this good¡­ woman owns body, not man¡­¡± Having rested my voice, I was able to express myself better than I¡¯d hoped. Softly and slowly, I continued, ¡°In Vrayna¡­ man forces woman¡­ her fault¡­¡± I looked down, struggling with how to continue. I thought of my mother, who was called a whore because my father had impregnated her by force. Her death was so brutal that even by Vraynian standards she could only be called a victim, but what my father did to her would have been considered justified. ¡°Father forced mother¡­ made me¡­ her fault¡­ my fault too¡­¡± I¡¯d been told so many times that all my mother¡¯s suffering was because she was a whore who was unlucky enough to give birth to me.

    As comprehension and horror intermingled on his face, Andrian exclaimed, ¡°No! Is that the kind of stuff they were telling you? The person at fault is the person who did something wrong, not the person they hurt. You know that, right?¡±

    ¡°Know, yes¡­ believe, no,¡± I admitted, finding myself answering Andrian with greater ease than when I¡¯d talked to Estra the night before. Estra was knowledgeable and had a genuine desire to ¡®fix¡¯ me, but that wasn¡¯t enough to make me feel comfortable sharing my inner thoughts with him. ¡°Heard so often¡­ Know he wrong¡­ but¡­¡±

    What would have followed was simply too much for me to try to explain. The stark contrast between what I knew in my heart and what I''d been conditioned to believe. The impact of recovering everything I¡¯d partitioned off was drastic, but it couldn¡¯t undo the last ten years. I¡¯d had it beaten into me over and over again that both I and my mother deserved what happened to us. There was a part of me that still believed it might be true. That part became a little smaller when Andrian cupped my face and said, ¡°You¡¯ve done nothing wrong. Your father is at fault for everything and you don¡¯t share even the slightest bit of blame. I¡¯ll remind you of that anytime you need to hear it, okay?¡±

    Despite everything, I couldn¡¯t help but feel lighter knowing that Andrian believed that.

 Chapter Thirty One

    In the end, I decided to go swimming with everyone else. I stripped down with Andrian and jumped in. The lake water, gently warmed by the afternoon sun, was cool and refreshing. It helped pull me out of the dark mood I''d fallen into from thinking too much. I was very aware of my nakedness at first, but once I was in the water, I couldn''t help but feel that it didn''t matter. No one else cared, so why should I?

    I swam around, splashing and playing with Andrian, until Estra made his way over to us. He had a look on his face that said he was very pleased with himself.

    "I didn''t think you''d join us," he commented, "what with humans being so rigid about such things."

    I didn''t answer right away, assuming he had more to say than just a single comment.

    Proving me right, Estra continued, "I would like to hear more about what you and Andrian were talking about on the shore. It seemed to be a rather serious conversation. I can''t help but wonder what you were discussing so intently right after we all got in the water." His raised eyebrow told me he already had a pretty good idea what we were talking about. "I was afraid we might have offended your human sensibilities, or perhaps you might be uncomfortable in such a situation." He spoke in a teasing tone, but there was an edge to his casual words. I suddenly had the feeling he was testing me.

    I cleared my throat and replied, "No. Not offended... Surprised. Very different from Vrayna."

    "I''m glad to see my fears were unfounded," he said with a knowing smile, "and I hope you had a healthy conversation with Andrian about it. There''s more to getting healthy than talking with a shaman, you know. It''s good to open up to the people around you as well."

    At that moment, I couldn''t help but suspect that Estra had somehow orchestrated this situation as some sort of bizarre therapy. Regardless of his best intentions, I felt my guard go up at the thought of him manipulating the situation to suit his whims. Even if it was to help me, I didn''t like such methods. It was far too invasive for my tastes. My displeasure must have shown on my face, because Estra was quick to apologize.

    "I''m sorry if I interfered too much," Estra offered, looking suitably abashed, "it wasn''t my intention to upset you, really."

    He hadn''t meant to, but he had. I felt he had violated my trust just to get a reaction out of me. I wondered if he''d planned this with the other two, and more importantly, if Shidah and Luxania were privy to the things I''d told Estra last night. I didn''t like the idea of everyone knowing these things. I was someone pathetic, too weak to protect myself, and hated by my own family. They might look at me differently if they knew.

    "Estra, I think it would be better if you went back to the others," Andrian told him in a stiff voice. "I understand what you were trying to do, but you should have known better. For your information, yes, your little plan worked, but why did you think it was a good idea? If Falyn wants to talk to me, he''ll do it without you forcing it."

    I didn''t want this to escalate any further, so I put my hand on Andrian''s arm to distract him. Before he could continue speaking, I simply said, "It''s okay. No harm done."

    Andrian nodded but continued to glare at Estra until he swam away. I was conflicted. On one hand, it was good to confirm that the Beastlands held different values than Vrayna. Beastmen evolved from animals into something human, but they hadn¡¯t let go of their animal natures. It was human nature to oppress the weak, to seek power at all costs, and to cause untold suffering. The Beastmen seemed to follow a power-based social structure, but they took care of their weak and gave autonomy to all of their people. I felt comfortable in such an environment, even if it was completely alien to me.

    But on the other hand, Estra had just created a situation that made me very uncomfortable. I didn''t know if he was sharing my secrets with other people, and I didn''t like that he was manipulating me into talking about something I didn''t feel ready to talk about. Even if the results were ultimately good, I felt like he had betrayed my trust.

    "I know he means well, but he''s stubborn," Andrian commented to me once Estra was out of earshot, "he''s an ends-justifies-the-means kind of person, from what little I know of him. Don''t let his eccentricities get to you though. No matter what, he''s a shaman before anything else. His calling in life is to help and heal, and that''s what he''s going to do."

    "I know... but..."

    "If you don''t feel well, you can refuse the treatment. I don''t mean refuse it forever, but it won''t be long until we''re settled in a village and you can look for a shaman who''s better suited to you," Andrian paused for a moment, "I know you''re not used to being in a position where you can say no to things you don''t like, but Estra will respect your wishes."

    "Okay..." I sighed, "Let me think."

    Refusing treatment hadn¡¯t occurred to me as an option. Even though I entered into it freely, I had assumed that I was obligated to continue. Andrian reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me close. The warmth of his body was a stark contrast to the cold water we were swimming in. ¡°You could also think about maybe talking to me instead. I¡¯m no shaman, but I can listen.¡±

    I really wanted to accept his offer. He¡¯d shown me nothing but unwavering love and support, always subverting my worst expectations. However, there was still that nagging voice in my head that told me I shouldn¡¯t.

    "Think about it," he said, "and if that''s what you want, I''m here."

    I nodded and wrapped my arms around him, placing a kiss on his cheek, before breaking free of his embrace and diving underwater.

    We stayed in the water a little longer before it was time to get back on the road. My aching muscles felt much better after the cold water, but my throat was as fiery as it had been that morning. I spent the afternoon in silence, contemplating my situation. The more I thought, the more it seemed that the voice telling me to be ashamed of myself was actually my father''s voice and not my own. I eventually decided that I should trust Andrian and try to talk to him. I wasn''t angry with Estra because I knew he had my best interests at heart, but that didn''t mean I was happy with him either. Even if he didn''t tell Shidah and Luxania anything, I still didn''t like the fact that he created a situation like this to ''treat'' me without my knowledge. However, I still wanted to continue seeing him at night. Though his methods didn''t match my preferences, he was still a capable shaman and I wanted to learn from him. I hoped he would still be willing to teach me if I told him I didn''t want him to treat me.

    By the time we were entering the village, the sun was getting low in the sky. Up ahead, there were two pillars on either side of the road, connected by a large stone archway. It looked out of place in the middle of the jungle, with no walls connected to it. Two sentries stood by each pillar, looking bored and complacent. When we approached, they straightened their backs and said, ¡°Welcome.¡±

    One was an older lion beastman with what looked like a full mane of hair and beard, just like Andrian''s father. The other a young man about my age with his golden hair in a top knot and no facial hair to speak of. Both were dressed as we were, in comfortable garments and no armor to speak of, with large daggers attached to their belts. The younger one¡¯s eyes went wide when he saw Andrian in our group.

    "Andrian, you son of a bitch, where the hell have you been?" he said in a loud voice, "I heard you got promoted and then ran off to Humanland to chase some human who ran away from you."

    "Gregor!" Andrian replied with a grin on his face, "Good to see you!" Andrian jumped off his horse and embraced Gregor, who seemed genuinely happy to see him. Gregor''s eyes widened when he looked past Andrian and saw me sitting on my horse.

    "No! You didn''t!" he exclaimed, looking at Andrian in shock. He turned to me with what could have been a worried look on his face and asked me, "Are you being kidnapped right now?"

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    I didn''t have time to fully register what he was asking me before Andrian slapped the back of his head and said, "Of course not! What the hell are you saying?"

    Rubbing the back of his head, Gregor turned to me again and continued, ¡°But seriously. If you¡¯re kidnapped, I¡¯ll help you escape.¡± I noticed a mischievous glint in his eye and realized he was teasing Andrian. I couldn¡¯t help but chuckle a little as Andrian pulled him into a headlock and cursed his mother.

    I climbed down from my horse and offered my hand to Gregor as soon as he''d gotten away from Andrian. Gregor took my hand and looked me up and down. If I had to describe his expression, I''d almost say it was one of disbelief.

    "Gregor, I''d like you to meet Falyn, who is definitely not kidnapped," Andrian said as he put his arm around me, "Falyn, this is Gregor. We went through early training together before I went to the eastern front. I¡¯ve known him for a long time."

    I looked up at Gregor. He had a slimmer build, almost skinny, but he was still a few inches taller than me and broad in the shoulders. I was beginning to realize that a large beast meant a larger human form. Estra, an owl, was quite a bit smaller than me, as was Luxania, a fox. Gregor watched me with curious eyes, which narrowed when Andrian put his arm around me.

    "What time will you be done tonight?" Andrian asked. "We have lots of catching up to do. We should have a few drinks while I''m here."

    "I''m done with the sun, my friend. Where are you staying?"

    "Wherever there''s a room," Andrian laughed, "This isn''t a planned visit. I''ll tell you everything over a few drinks. Meet me at the usual spot."

    ¡°You¡¯re bringing the human, right?¡± Gregor inquired, ¡°I¡¯ll let the other guys know you¡¯re here so you can introduce him to everyone.¡±

    Andrian hesitated for a moment when Gregor said that and turned to me. ¡°Are you okay with meeting some of my army friends?¡±

    I nodded. Actually, I was very interested in meeting the people Andrian was friends with. I just hoped they would be okay with me tagging along.

    "Gregor!" the older lion called out in a good natured voice, "You''ve held ''em up long enough. Let the generals and their guest go before they can''t find an inn with space."

    The older lion''s interruption freed us from our conversation, and we were able to continue once Andrian had promised Gregor that they would meet at the ''usual spot'' after dark. In the meantime, we would go to the village and find accommodations. I was a little nervous about meeting Andrian''s army friends, but I forgot about it as soon as we entered the village.

    The village itself was at least three times the size of Rovette, possibly more. In fact, I was pretty sure it was as big as the eastern city of Shelfort. The buildings weren''t anything like human designs, built for function, not appearance. Other than the archway guarded by the two guards, there were no gates or walls protecting the city from outsiders. Sentries were posted around the perimeter, but their job was to watch for monsters, not travelers. Instead, as the forest gave way to civilization, it felt like we had fallen into the center of a sprawling city. Some buildings were made of the same redwood as Uncle Alek''s house, some of a beige cement made from mud combined with stones and brickwork.

    The village was full of people going about their daily lives. Not many noticed our passing, but those who did called out friendly greetings. Some of them recognized Andrian and offered a salute to one of their war generals, but there was nothing formal or uniform about it. No one noticed me, probably assuming I was from another tribe and had less prominent beast features. I was grateful for that, still unsure of how they would react to a human in their midst.

    The people of the village were both similar and completely different from the humans in the Vraynian cities I''d been to. There were stalls for people to sell their food and wares, just like any other city, but there was a sense of ''other'' that I could feel. The first thing I noticed was that there were no beggars or poor people on the streets. Everyone had proper clothes on their backs and seemed to have some sort of purpose. At the same time, there were no obvious class distinctions among the people either. Everyone wore clothes of similar quality, if they wore clothes at all. Suddenly I was grateful to Estra for his stunt at the lake, otherwise I might have been shocked by the sights before me.

    While most people were dressed in simple shirts, pants, and dresses, there were also many who chose to go bare-chested, including the women. As we passed inns and taverns, there were many couples out for dinner or for a night of drinking. I couldn''t help but laugh internally at my father for thinking the beastmen would kill me for the insult of being a man. He would have known better had he taken the time to learn anything about Beastland culture. Most of the couples we saw were indeed male and female, but I also saw men with other men, women with other women, and twice I saw what appeared to be one person on a date with multiple partners. Everyone minded their own business and left others to do as they pleased. There were also many who chose to roam the village in their animal forms and that was acceptable too. Was this what freedom looked like?

    We arrived at an inn in the center of the village. I wouldn''t have known it was an inn if someone hadn''t told me, because there were no written signs anywhere. I had forgotten that the Beastlands had no written language. Looking more closely, I saw a wooden plaque with a bed carved into it, indicating that we were at an inn. I checked the neighboring buildings and saw similar plaques with pictures of what you would find inside; a bed for an inn, a glass for a tavern, a horse for the stable, and so on. We left our horses at the stable next to the inn.

    The inn was a four-story redwood structure with a small courtyard in front, where people sat at tables drinking and eating their fill. We passed them by and entered the building. Inside was a small room with two openings leading to staircases on either side. On the back wall was a counter with another door behind it. Behind the counter, there was a middle-aged woman with wild, tangled, waist-length hair, wearing a simple dress that prioritized function. Before she could greet us, the door behind her opened and a very tiny person emerged from behind it, carrying a tray of full glasses over their head.

    "I have the drinks for the guests in the room on the fourth floor," the tiny person, whose voice sounded like they were male, announced as they gently kicked the door shut behind them. Whoever they were, they were so small that only the tray they held above their heads was visible from behind the counter.

    "Far left corner of the courtyard," the woman behind the counter told him, "they''ll be ready for food by now too."

    The tiny person emerged from behind the counter and I saw that they were indeed a male, and probably a full foot shorter than Estra, who was only five feet in height himself. He had rounded ears on top of his small head and I thought he might be a mouse beastman. I hadn¡¯t realized there were small animal beastmen too. It was probably impolite to think so, but I couldn¡¯t help but think he was cute. He quickly scurried out the door with his large tray and disappeared onto the patio.

    "Welcome," said the woman behind the counter. She didn''t look up at us and fumbled under the counter for something, "How many rooms will you need?"

    "Two rooms and a roof nest for my owl friend here," Shidah replied with a smile she didn''t see.

    "How many nights?" she asked, pulling out a piece of white cloth with shapes etched into it. The shapes seemed to be the floors of the inn, divided into squares, with X''s marking some of the squares. There were four diagrams in all, one for each floor of rooms, and what I quickly figured out were the roof nests Shidah had mentioned. With a piece of charcoal, she marked an X on two of the normal squares and one for the nest for Estra.

    "Just for tonight," Shidah said, "We''re passing through on our way to the trading city."

    "Food?" she continued, uninterested in where we were going.

    "Yes, food and drink for all of us."

    "Tribes?"

    "Bear, fox, lion and owl," Shidah replied. "No need for anything special. We just need beds and something tasty."

    ¡°Very well,¡± she said before finally looking up from her diagram and taking us in. When she saw me standing with them, her eyes narrowed a little but she didn''t say anything. However, when her eyes moved past me to look at Andrian, they widened a little. ¡°General Andrian, aren¡¯t you supposed to be with the human delegation?¡±

    ¡°Ay,¡± he answered her, ¡°We had to make a detour on our way back. Good to see you Zaelia, I meant to come see you when I was officially back. I didn''t know you worked here now. I thought you''d be at the tavern for life. Dad wants you to know that he has another round of wood for you and he¡¯ll drop it off when he comes by for supplies next moon cycle.¡±

    Zaelia looked more carefully at our group and asked, ¡°So who are these people you¡¯re traveling with? I thought you all were just a normal group of travelers before I recognized you.¡±

    ¡°This is General Shidah of the bears, General Luxania of the foxes, Shaman Estra of the owls, and this is Falyn, who has no tribe, but will be of the lions once the new moon has passed,¡± Andrian told her, indicating each person as he spoke their names.

    ¡°You brought a human back with you?¡± she asked, looking me up and down with a confused expression on her face. ¡°Why?¡±

    Andrian smiled widely and put his arm over my shoulder. ¡°Didn¡¯t dad tell you why I was joining the delegation? I went to find someone. I found him.¡±

    ¡°Yes, but¡­ I didn''t think you''d kidnap some poor human and force him to come here,¡± she said in a disapproving tone. "I know we''ve been at war and all, but this one obviously has never seen a battle. You can''t just kidnap a civilian because he was nice to you when you were a cub." She looked at me sympathetically.

    Wait, didn''t Gregor say something like that too? Why did everyone keep assuming I was kidnapped?

 Chapter Thirty Two

    Shidah quickly cleared up the misunderstanding and the subject was dropped. I wanted to ask her why she thought I was kidnapped, but the conversation went back to our rooms and I lost my chance. She gave us the keys to the two rooms and told Estra he could take any empty roof nest he wanted.

    We went to our room, which was little more than a square space with two beds and a window. The room looked clean and comfortable, despite the sparse decor. Andrian led me down to a communal bathhouse that the inn allowed its guests to use. The bathhouse was an enormous wooden structure separated into several sections. There were giant tubs filled with hot sudsy water in one area, a large pool filled with cool water for swimming in another, and a collection of small rooms along the wall where you could relax in hot steamy air created by pouring water onto stones that were heated by fire magic. Andrian told me that these rooms were called saunas and were quite popular. First, we enjoyed one of the private sauna rooms and luxuriated in the sweaty heat before we climbed into one of the giant tubs that easily fit both of us.

    The bathhouse was shared by both genders, and at one point I saw a giant serpentine beastman slide into one of the saunas to bask in the warmth. I couldn¡¯t help but look around the enormous bathhouse in awe, though I did my best to avoid looking at the other bathers, as I was a little uncomfortable being surrounded by so many naked bodies.

    No one else shared my discomfort and it seemed that going to the bathhouse was somewhat of a social event. People sat around the edge of the pool talking and laughing like they were sitting around the table of a cafe. Andrian and I enjoyed our bath for a time before heading into the pool to revitalize ourselves in the colder water. At first I¡¯d been hesitant regarding the big pool, but after the hot sauna and the equally hot bath, I was overheated and willing to risk exposing myself to cool off.

    Upon entering the pool, I noticed the whispers that began almost immediately. We¡¯d been quite discreet when we entered the sauna and moved into our tub, located in a far corner away from prying eyes, but I was fully on display when we entered the open pool. It seemed that the beastmen had finally noticed there was a human in their midst.

    I froze up for a second, realizing that so many eyes were on me. In that moment, I felt like I understood a little better what the beastmen had gone through when they came to Vrayna. The whispers that echoed through the air were mostly curiosity and speculation, but I felt like I could feel their stares on me. Taking a lesson from how the beast generals handled themselves among the humans, I ignored the voices and dunked my head underwater as if I hadn¡¯t noticed their interest.

    When I came up for air, someone less discreet called out, ¡°Hey human! You¡¯re a human right?¡±

    I turned to face the one who spoke and was greeted by a young beastman, probably a wolf, and likely quite new to his human form. At most, he was fourteen and he looked at me like I was the weirdest thing he had ever seen. Perhaps I was. Cautiously, I nodded my head. There was no point in denying the obvious. I felt Andrian''s hand grasp mine under the water.

    ¡°Why are you here?¡± he asked bluntly. His parents looked a little embarrassed by his upfront question, but I understood what he meant. There was no accusation in his tone, simply a genuine interest in how I¡¯d ended up here. I thought about how to answer and decided to just go with the simplest of truths.

    ¡°Joining ceremony,¡± I replied after carefully clearing my throat. Andrian hugged me from behind as I answered the boy, leaving no question as to whom I would be joining with. I did my best to tune out the noise of the small crowd as their curious whispers increased.

    The boy furrowed his brow for a moment and asked, ¡°But don¡¯t you hate us? I thought humans hate beastmen. That¡¯s why you attacked us, isn''t it?¡±

    ¡°No, don¡¯t hate,¡± I said simply. I didn¡¯t feel the need to elaborate. I couldn¡¯t speak for all of Vrayna, I could only say that I held no hatred for him or any other beastman.

    ¡°I apologize,¡± his mother interjected, looking very uncomfortable, ¡°both his father and I served in the war. I think he overheard some of our conversations as a cub¡­ well, I won¡¯t say we were wrong, but the war¡¯s over now and we all need to try and get along, don¡¯t we?¡± She didn¡¯t sound like she really meant what she said. Her words sounded stiff and rehearsed, like a script she was being forced to follow.

    Our conversation had begun to attract a little too much attention for my liking. No one confirmed nor denied her words but a couple people got up and left the poolside, shooting me unhappy looks as they left. I winced a little at each glare but I was okay. I¡¯d been through worse, and it was only a few of them. I was used to this kind of treatment. Besides, I couldn¡¯t deny that I was still technically Julien de Ramport, son of the man who instigated the war. Maybe I deserved their anger.

    ¡°Fine, I¡¯ll say it,¡± the boy¡¯s father said after a few moments of silence, ¡°I know that there¡¯s some fancy marriage treaty with the humans and that we¡¯re supposed to all act like friends now, but didn¡¯t it occur to you that you shouldn¡¯t have brought him here?¡±

    ¡°Are you hearing yourself?¡± Andrian growled at the man, ¡°We didn¡¯t come here for your approval, we came here to bathe.¡±

    ¡°You probably feel that way, but I doubt I¡¯m the only one you¡¯re making uncomfortable,¡± he argued, gesturing at me, ¡°Maybe he wasn¡¯t among the armies that invaded our villages, but he¡¯s still a human. He doesn¡¯t belong here.¡±

    ¡°Who do you answer to, soldier?¡± Andrian suddenly barked, startling me. It seemed like he¡¯d startled everyone who remained at the poolside as well.

    The man instinctively hopped to attention before realizing what he¡¯d done. He looked resentfully at Andrian and said, ¡°I don¡¯t think I need to answer that. Who are you to ask?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m your superior and that¡¯s all you need to know. Now answer my question while I¡¯m still asking nicely,¡± Andrian¡¯s voice was unsettling, even for me. The man¡¯s face paled.

    ¡°General Harlow,¡± his wife said, trying to appease the situation a bit, ¡°We reported to General Harlow. However, we¡¯re both retired now so he really isn¡¯t obligated to answer you, whatever your rank might be. Now please, there¡¯s no need for us to be arguing. Need I remind you that there¡¯s a child present?¡±

    All eyes fell on the boy who¡¯d started the whole mess. He shifted uncomfortably and said, ¡°I was just curious. I¡¯m glad you don¡¯t hate us but, since you don¡¯t belong here you should probably leave.¡±

    ¡°He belongs here as much as anyone else does and he won¡¯t be leaving,¡± Andrian answered curtly, but more gently than when he¡¯d spoken to the father, ¡°There are a lot of bad humans out there, but there are also lots of good ones. If we judge them all together, without getting to know the individuals, then we¡¯re no better than the humans you condemn. He''s my chosen mate, and that¡¯s all that should matter.¡±

    ¡°What would you know, lion?¡± the father countered, looking agitated, ¡°You were sent to the eastern front. You didn¡¯t see it. Humans are vile and vicious creatures.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right. I fought in the east. That doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m ignorant of what happened in the west. And that has nothing to do with my mate, who wasn''t involved in the war at all. He¡¯s nothing like those vile soldiers you¡¯re trying to lump him in with.¡± Andrian was getting equally agitated and I didn¡¯t like where this was going. I didn¡¯t want to see any violence, especially not on my behalf.

    ¡°Andri,¡± I said softly and placed my hand on his arm, ¡°No need. Our situation¡­ special. What¡­ they feel, normal.¡± I didn¡¯t see the point in trying to convince these people of anything. Humans had hurt them and they weren¡¯t ready to let go of that. They were angry, but they weren¡¯t doing anything wrong. ¡°Let it go¡­ Please.¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t it bother you?¡± Andrian asked me, searching my face for signs of unhappiness.

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    ¡°No, not bothered,¡± I responded, ¡°I know¡­ I saw¡­ what they saw¡­¡± My final words, which were spoken so softly that they shouldn¡¯t have been audible, echoed through the bathhouse. My raspy, painful voice sounded pathetic as I added, ¡°Let¡¯s just go.¡±

    Andrian nodded to my request and we moved to get out of the pool. As we were climbing out, I inhaled deeply to calm myself and ended up triggering another coughing fit. Thankfully, it was a minor one and I recovered quickly without collapsing. Andrian rubbed my back as I regained my breath.

    ¡°Are you okay?¡± a new voice asked from beside us. I looked up and saw a man I hadn¡¯t noticed before, with elongated pupils in the center of his yellow eyes and scales decorating his temples.

    I realized that he was probably the snake I had seen entering the sauna. He must have heard me coughing, or perhaps he heard when Andrian shouted, and come out to see what was wrong.

    ¡°He¡¯s fine,¡± Andrian answered for me, ¡°his vocal chords are damaged and he overdid it a bit. Nothing to worry about.¡±

    ¡°Good, good,¡± the snake beastman said as I nodded that I was indeed okay. He gave me a sympathetic look and added, ¡°I heard your conversation with that family over there. Don¡¯t waste your time listening to them. Those who took an early retirement from the war effort didn¡¯t cross the border with the rest of us.¡± He looked over at the couple we¡¯d been talking to. ¡°They only saw the invading soldiers, but didn¡¯t see the people of your villages and the state they were in. I¡¯m on my way home from one of those villages, so I get it.¡±

    He held out his hand to me and I grasped it gratefully.

    ¡°I¡¯m Talak. Snake tribe. Lieutenant.¡±

    ¡°Good to meet you Lieutenant. This is Falyn, soon to be of the lion tribe and my mate. I¡¯m General Andrian of the lion tribe. Remain at ease, this is an informal meeting,¡± Andrian introduced us and interrupted Talak on his way to a salute.

    ¡°Good to meet you,¡± Talak responded after putting his arm down. ¡°I won¡¯t keep you, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Safe travels General, Falyn.¡± With that he went back to his sauna and closed the door. The two wolves we¡¯d been talking to had the courtesy to look sheepish but we exited the bathhouse without saying anything further.

    We returned to our room and quietly got dressed. I could tell Andrian wanted to say something but was holding himself back. Finally, I grabbed his arm and asked, ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ nothing. I just feel bad,¡± Andrian admitted, ¡°You had to go through something unpleasant because I brought you there. I know you said you weren¡¯t bothered, but I was bothered. I understand where their feelings are coming from, but I want everyone to treat you well and make you feel at home here. I kind of feel like I failed you by not expecting that.¡±

    ¡°Andri, not fail¡­¡± I answered slowly, mindful that I should be resting my voice, ¡°I expected¡­ this¡­ Not everyone forgives¡­¡±

    Andrian looked like he wanted to convince me otherwise, but he didn¡¯t pursue the argument. In the end, I couldn¡¯t fault the beastmen that held a grudge against humans, because I understood how they felt. They had been called monsters, invaded, and attacked. If that was their only experience with humans, of course they wouldn¡¯t be fond of my presence. So far, I had only met beastmen who were in favor of the treaty and getting along with humans, but I couldn''t expect all beastmen to look upon me favorably. If they''d only encountered humans like my father''s men, it only made sense that they would be wary, fearful, or angry.

    However, my concern at this point wasn¡¯t whether all the beastmen would welcome me, but how the friends Andrian was bringing me to meet would feel about it. I said I expected this and I did, but I¡¯d stopped being vigilant because of how good the generals were to me. When Andrian offered to let me meet his friends, I¡¯d assumed they would be glad to meet me. But what if I was wrong? I was beginning to worry that my presence would ruin their reunion.

    ¡°Andri¡­¡± I started cautiously, ¡°Should I¡­ not go? ¡­Your friends¡­ might feel¨C¡±

    ¡°No, don¡¯t think like that,¡± he interrupted, seeming to know where I was going with my thoughts, ¡°They¡¯re all people who already know about our history. They¡¯ll be glad to meet you. Rather, try not to take anything they say about me too seriously.¡± Andrian ran a hand through his hair and laughed awkwardly. ¡°To be honest, I¡¯m a little worried about what they might say to you.¡±

    That piqued my interest but I didn¡¯t inquire further. I could ask him more when we got back if I hadn''t already figured it out. He seemed very certain that they would want to meet me, so I trusted his judgement. Plus, Gregor had been quite friendly towards me and was technically the one who had invited me.

    We finished getting dressed and left the inn. Andrian said we could walk there, so I hastily grabbed a cloak to wear and pulled the hood up over my head. In Vrayna I would have looked like a suspicious person, but from what I¡¯d seen of the village so far, no one would notice another randomly dressed figure in the crowd. Andrian took my hand and began leading me down a series of streets and alleyways. Darkness had fallen on the village while we were in the bathhouse and the streets were generously lit by torchlight. Every ten feet or so there was another tall pillar with a flame burning atop it, creating a warm and bright atmosphere despite the sun having gone into hiding until morning. The streets were just as lively at night as they were in the daytime, with beastmen of every variety out to shop, eat, and revel in the night.

    Though the alleyways were dim, there was residual light from the streets that ensured we were never in complete darkness. It only took about a quarter of a movement before we reached a large building with a wooden plaque that had a glass and what looked like eating utensils engraved upon it. The inside was brightly lit, almost as if it were still daylight. I¡¯d never seen such brightness at night before. Hanging from the ceiling were these round orbs of white light, like miniature suns, illuminating the open space.

    In the center was an enormous bar that ran in a circle around a space filled with kegs and tall shelves full of bottles. Stools decorated the bar the length of the bar and six different bartenders worked tirelessly to get drinks out to the many tables as well as keep the people in front of them happy. The place was so loud that it was almost deafening due to almost every table being full. Next to the front door where we were standing was a counter with an attendant waiting to seat people.

    ¡°Joining a table or need one?¡± the attendant asked us as we approached.

    ¡°Do you have any private rooms available?¡± Andrian asked in response to the attendant¡¯s question.

    ¡°Yes, we do,¡± the attendant responded automatically, ¡°Up the stairs, go to the second room on the left. The red door. How many will be joining your party?¡±

    ¡°Five more,¡± Andrian answered and told him, ¡°Gregor, Thalton, Willow, Vargas, and Orion are their names.¡±

    The attendant nodded and asked, ¡°You¡¯re Andrian then? You should go to the black door on the right instead. Your party arrived before you.¡±

    Andrian nodded and proceeded to guide me through the crowded tavern to a stairway in the back. We followed the stairs, which were lined with red carpet, up to the second floor. When we reached the top of the stairs, there was an open space with couches and a smaller bar with only one bartender. Both to the right and left, there were four doors on each wall, colored black, brown, yellow, and red. As instructed by the attendant, Andrian led me to the black door on the right and opened it.

    As soon as we walked through the door, there were three steps leading down into a small room. A bench with cushions built into the walls surrounded the entire room, with a large square table in the center. Everything was made of light wood, except for the colorful cushions. Sitting on the bench were five beastmen, Gregor and four new faces.

    ¡°Ooooh! Looks like the fancy dancy General isn¡¯t too good to visit his old friends after all,¡± one of them shouted out as the others called out their greetings to Andrian. Their chatter died off quickly when I stepped out from behind Andrian on the stairs.

    ¡°Well holy shit, he really went and found the human,¡± a different voice sounded out. I was surprised to realize the voice belonged to a female.

    ¡°Come on now, introduce him already,¡± the first voice added.

    ¡°Guys,¡± Andrian said, ¡°I¡¯d like you to meet Falyn. My old friend and my chosen mate.¡±

    Andrian introduced his friends to me one by one. Gregor, I¡¯d already met. Thalton was the youngest looking of the group and also the largest. I couldn¡¯t speak to his height, as they were all sitting down, but Thalton had a thick layer of muscle coated in a healthy amount of extra fat, with a youthful face and flowing orange hair. Willow, the female, was as large as the males and equally muscular. Her bright blue eyes sparkled as she greeted me. Vargas, the one who had called Andrian ¡®fancy dancy¡¯, was the smallest of the group with unruly shoulder-length black hair and a wild aura about him. Orion seemed to be the quiet one of the bunch. He had slightly darker skin than the others, but his hair was even lighter than Gregor¡¯s golden knot. All five of them, just as Andrian had promised, seemed genuinely happy to meet me. Even though I hadn''t doubted Andrian''s words, I was relieved to see that he hadn''t misjudged them.

    Everyone shifted over so Andrian and I could sit down with them and a server came into the room to take our food and drink requests. The beastmen ordered a collection of beer and wine pitchers and what sounded like a mountain of food to share. Once the server had left to relay our requests to the kitchen and bar, all eyes in the room suddenly turned to me.

    "So, just so we''re clear," Vargas began, "you really became a general just to go all the way to Humanland to find this guy?"

 Chapter Thirty Three

    Andrian''s friends, much to my relief, seemed happy to have me join them. Andrian had laughed off Vargas'' question about coming to find me without actually denying it. I could tell they all wanted to ask a dozen questions about us, but Andrian quickly changed the subject by asking how everyone was doing. They seemed a little disappointed by the shift in topic, but they went along with it and started answering him one by one. It was a relief for me, as I was a little uncomfortable being the center of their attention, and it gave me a chance to learn a bit about them.

    Food and drinks were soon brought to us and I was quickly distracted by the steaming plates of fried food being placed in front of me. Before I could fill a plate, Andrian''s friends insisted that we have a drink with them first, but that turned into many drinks while my stomach was still empty. Soon I had consumed more alcohol than I was used to, which wasn''t very much to begin with, and my head was starting to feel fuzzy. The others seemed perfectly normal, despite each of them drinking two cups to my one.

    I turned away from my glass, which was constantly being refilled, and focused on the food in front of me. Along with fried meats and breaded fried vegetables, there were a myriad of condiments to choose from and ample piles of flatbread, fresh off the grill. I took some of the fried meat and wrapped it in flatbread, then dipped it in a smooth creamy sauce that was seasoned with hot peppers. As the food hit my stomach, my head cleared and I felt like I was ready for another drink.

    The food of the Beastlands was still new and exciting to me, full of flavors I¡¯d never tasted before. I¡¯d spent a good part of my life living off of meals that consisted mostly of the leftovers that no one else wanted. The chefs of the Golden Palace allowed me to eat meals that were both delicious and elegant, but they couldn¡¯t compare to the simple but flavorful food in front of me. It wasn¡¯t refined or elegant at all, and I felt like that was part of what made it so good.

    Throughout the meal, the conversation naturally turned back to how Andrian and I had been reunited when he came to Vrayna, which all of them seemed to just call Humanland. It seemed an apt enough term that I felt no need to try to correct them. With the alcohol flowing, one tends to become a little more loose in the tongue and Andrian was soon telling them the story of what had happened in the Palace. His friends were a rapt audience and were shocked to discover my full identity.

    "Wait," Gregor piped up, "so this guy is the son of the bastard who started the whole damn war?" He looked at me incredulously as I nodded that I was.

    "And your mother was his first target?" Willow asked.

    "So you saw it all?" Vargas chimed in as well. "And you can prove it wasn''t one of us?"

    The questions kept coming, one after another, until I felt like my head was spinning. I was grateful that they didn''t seem to blame me, but their interest was a bit overwhelming. Andrian did most of the talking, sharing what he knew to be true and glossing over anything he thought I wouldn''t want them to know.

    After all the food was gone and they¡¯d emptied more pitchers of beer and wine than I could count, we paid our tab and left the tavern for the streets. From there, we began following a series of alleys and streets until we were on the outskirts of the village. It was late into the night now and the moon was high in the sky. Though the lights lining the streets were still lit, there were far fewer people out and about, making it feel like our group¡¯s voices were all the louder as we wandered the empty streets.

    Everyone but me seemed to know where we were heading, as the destination was never discussed. I found myself getting swept away in the fun atmosphere and didn¡¯t think to question it, simply following along wherever they led me. We reached the outskirts of the village and headed into the dark surrounding jungle. Liquid courage, combined with the knowledge that I was with six well trained soldiers who were experienced in fighting monsters, left me feeling safe enough to follow them without concern.

    After walking for a short time, we came to a larger clearing with a river running through it. The beastmen all flopped down by the water and I realized we were at our destination. From his bag, Thalton pulled out a round bottle filled with liquid and stopped with a cork.

    ¡°Since it¡¯s a special occasion,¡± Thalton said with a laugh as the beastmen roared their approval of whatever was in that bottle. He pulled the cork out of the bottle and took a gulp before handing it off so it could be passed around, ¡°Whatcha think human, you wanna try some real alcohol? You''ll never find something like this back in Humanland.¡±

    The way he said ¡®real alcohol¡¯ made me a little nervous. Hadn¡¯t we already been drinking real alcohol at the tavern? I immediately looked to Andrian to get his thoughts.

    Thalton roared with laughter, ¡°Haha! Are you seriously asking for permission?¡±

    ¡°No, he¡¯s not,¡± Andrian answered flatly, which only made Thalton laugh harder. Thalton¡¯s face was already turning red as he laughed so hard he could barely stay on his feet. Seeing him so heavily affected by so little consumption answered my question well enough anyway. Whatever that stuff was, it was probably too much for me to handle.

    The bottle was passed around and I declined to partake. Andrian took a gulp of the mysterious liquid and his eyes seemed to glaze over almost immediately. With a mischievous smile he suddenly pulled me in for a kiss. As our tongue intertwined, I tasted the alcohol straight out of his mouth. Even though I hadn''t actually drunk any, my head was swimming and I felt a faint burning sensation in my mouth and throat. A full sip might have knocked me out cold. As it was, I felt a heat creeping up my chest and I leaned into Andrian with a vacant smile on my face.

    ¡°Ugh, gross,¡± Willow muttered. ¡°No one told me I¡¯d have to watch him being all lovey dovey. Andrian! That face is disgusting. Get rid of it!¡±

    Everyone laughed at her remarks and eventually Willow joined the laughter. When she¡¯d said it was gross, I was worried for a moment that she was offended by our kiss. I was instantly relieved when I discovered that wasn¡¯t the case. Well, I suppose it was the case, but not for the reasons I had feared.

    ¡°She¡¯s not wrong, though,¡± Orion added, his usual reticence cancelled out by the alcohol, ¡°that face you just made is the most horrifying thing I¡¯ve ever seen. Worse than that monster with all the legs.¡±

    Everyone started bickering from there but it was all good natured. As they hurled insults at each other and joked about Andrian¡¯s face, I felt comfortable and content, although that might have been the residual effects of the alcohol.

    Their jokes escalated until they left the riverbank to fight it out in their lion forms in the open area nearby. Only Gregor remained by the river with me to watch as the other five roared and tackled each other. If I hadn¡¯t known better, it would have looked like a fight for their lives. But I recognized the playful body language I¡¯d seen many times in my childhood. To me, it was clear they were just having fun.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry,¡± Gregor told me as I watched them, ¡°they¡¯ll all be careful not to hurt each other.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± I answered him, my throat feeling surprisingly clear after the lingering burning sensation had subsided. I was amazed by the strength of the liquor that I¡¯d only tasted, not drunk. ¡°This is play.¡±

    ¡°Ha, I¡¯m surprised you can tell,¡± Gregor responded, sounding amused. ¡°You¡¯re really not like most the humans I¡¯ve seen before.¡±

    ¡°Andri... when I knew him... only lion,¡± I explained, ¡°Look like that¡­ when we played.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what I mean. I haven¡¯t met many humans, but the ones I did meet were scared of us,¡± Gregor told me as he laid on his back and gazed up at the stars, ¡°Whether they were trying to kill us or thank us for feeding them, they reeked of fear. You look like you¡¯d faint at the first sight of blood, but you ain¡¯t the least bit scared.¡±

    I pondered his response for a moment before asking, ¡°Then before¡­ why you think¡­ kidnapped?¡±

    Gregor roared with laughter, ¡°How could I not? Anyone who¡¯s heard the story thought Andrian was completely insane, in one way or another. And not a single one of us ever expected him to come back here with you like this. We figured you ran away from him back then. Some people even thought you were some kind of psychosis fueled by living in isolation and didn¡¯t actually exist.¡±

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    I¡¯d had a vague idea but Andrian seemed to avoid talking about these things. If I asked him a direct question, he would usually answer, but except for that one night in Shelfort, Andrian rarely brought up what happened during the time we were apart. Since I had the opportunity, I decided to take it and said, ¡°Know little¡­ Andri¡­ didn¡¯t tell much¡­¡± I looked down at Gregor¡¯s form, which I couldn¡¯t really see very well in the dark. ¡°You tell?¡±

    ¡°Oh that¡¯s hilarious,¡± Gregor chuckled, ¡°I bet he didn¡¯t want to tell you all his dirty secrets. He¡¯s probably desperate to look good in front of you.¡± He sat back up. ¡°Well, the six of us met when we were all sent to the eastern front. We were all from different villages but we were grouped together for sparring practice and became friends almost immediately. From what I know, our army and your army have different rules. We respect and obey our superiors, and their word is law on the battlefield, but even in training, we have the freedom to do as we please when we aren''t on duty. So most recruits would work hard all day and play hard all night. Andrian was different. He¡¯d join us for drinks and was friendly and all that, but he always went home alone at the end of the night. He didn¡¯t seem to have any interest in mating and was super strict about his training.¡±

    I¡¯d be lying if I said I wasn¡¯t happy when I heard he¡¯d shown no interest in mating. Wouldn¡¯t that mean that, even when we were so far apart, that he was still thinking of me? Andrian had told me as much, but it was different to hear it from someone else. I was grateful for the cover of darkness because I couldn¡¯t help but smile.

    ¡°About six moon cycles ago, our general was killed by a group of trolls that caught us by surprise and Andrian was appointed as the new general. That crazy asshole was king of the battlefield in the east and all the higher ups like him, but we never thought that they¡¯d take his application for general seriously,¡± Gregor looked out at Andrian and the others, still fighting in the field. ¡°We didn¡¯t hear from him for a while, but soon the cat tribes were called home and Andrian reappeared spouting some nonsense about a human he needed to find. Honestly, I figured either you were a figment of his imagination or you had run away from the obsessive lion who was trying to claim you. Think about it, you were a human who used to visit frequently and suddenly stopped coming right after he bonded to you. Plus, that was at the same time all that other shit was happening.¡±

    ¡°But still¡­ Andri never¡­ would ne--" The temporary relief I¡¯d felt in my throat was gone and my voice cracked before I could finish my thoughts.

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t never what? Kidnap you? Are you sure about that? Haven''t you ever considered what might have happened had you refused him?¡± He correctly guessed what I was trying to say and hit me with a question I wasn''t prepared to answer. While I struggled to come up with a response, he continued, ¡°I can see why you wouldn¡¯t think that way, given how soft he is with you, but it wouldn¡¯t have surprised any of us, considering how obsessed he acted about it but¡­ well, I¡¯ve heard bonding is pretty damn intense. I kinda get it, but he was damn scary for a while there. Dragging you back here against your will didn¡¯t seem too far-fetched. I can¡¯t believe he kept that much crazy under wraps for so many years.¡± Gregor shook his head and added, "But I was mostly joking about the kidnapping."

    Gregor made it sound like a bad thing, but I was touched that Andrian was willing to go so far for me. After all, I hadn¡¯t run away from him, I was taken. I was grateful he worked so hard to be able to come find me. If I was honest, I liked the idea of him being obsessed with me. It meant I wouldn''t be cast aside someday.

    ¡°You¡¯re as crazy as he is, aren¡¯t you?¡± Gregor suddenly asked, "I can tell you''re happy to hear all that. Most people would run for the hills but you''re feeling all warm and fuzzy about your stalker boy."

    ¡°If... going to¡­ run... why tell?¡± I asked slowly. Was he trying to get rid of me?

    ¡°Because I¡¯m honest when I¡¯m drunk and I thought you should know, I guess,¡± he shrugged and answered honestly. ¡°You¡¯re the one who asked me anyway. But if you¡¯re both happy then good enough, ya?¡± He laughed loudly again and asked, ¡°You sure you don¡¯t want to have a proper drink? You can let loose with us.¡±

    I considered it for a moment and said, ¡°Okay.¡± If it knocked me out, Andrian would make sure I made it back to the inn, and the idea of ''letting loose'' intrigued me. I didn''t think I''d ever done anything like that before.

    ¡°Oi!¡± Gregor shouted to the others, ¡°Round Two!¡±

    At his words, five lions suddenly became five beastmen and returned to the riverbank. They were all out of breath and looking pleased with themselves, especially Thalton, who seemed to have been the most consistent victor. Andrian plopped down next to me and laid his head on my lap.

    "Hey," he said with a lazy smile.

    "Hi," I replied, running a hand through his hair.

    The bottle was passed around again but this time, when it was offered to me, I took it and sniffed. Even the scent was potent. Beneath the astringent odor that hit me right away, there was a unique and sweet scent that I couldn¡¯t quite describe.

    ¡°It¡¯s made from fermented honey and the dew of mellyn blossoms. I got this bottle as a present from my parents when I got promoted and I¡¯ve been saving it,¡± Thalton explained as I sniffed, seeing that I was considering trying it. ¡°Since it¡¯s your first time, don¡¯t drink more than a tiny mouthful. The mellyn blossom causes something called mana intoxication, which can be a little overwhelming at first, but it¡¯s not dangerous. It¡¯ll just feel like your senses are heightened and stuff like that.¡±

    I took a tiny sip and almost choked on it, but I somehow managed to swallow. I could feel it burning its way down my esophagus and into my stomach. Once my mouth had recovered from the shock, I could taste a sweet and mild floral flavor, reminiscent of sugared violets, which I had tasted at the engagement banquet.

    As the burn reached my stomach, I felt the heat radiate through my body, causing me to flush from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. My body tingled all over and the night suddenly seemed brighter and more vibrant. I could see my surroundings clearly and realized how similar this was to when Estra had me open my third eye. I felt energized. I felt alive.

    I instantly understood why they¡¯d all gone to wrestle and fight earlier, because I was possessed by a similar desire. I felt like the entire jungle was asking me to use it as my playground. I looked at Andrian and looked over at the open space where the lions had been battling. Andrian followed my eyes and seemed to know what I was thinking.

    ¡°You get to the count of ten,¡± he said. I grinned at him before jumping to my feet and dashing off to find myself a position I could defend from.

    Someone asked what I was doing, but I was busy running and Andrian was busy counting, so they didn''t get an answer. When Andrian reached his ten count, he was already bounding after me in his lion form and going for the tackle. I dodged his first attack and continued to defend, trying to gain some sort of advantage. Distantly, I was aware of shouting in the background that sounded like Andrian¡¯s friends cheering me on, but I was too busy dodging and countering the big lion in front of me to pay much attention.

    Inevitably, I found myself pinned on the ground. Despite my best efforts, I was still smaller, weaker, and lacking in stamina, whereas Andrian had spent the last few years on the battlefield. Just like when we were at our old playground, I didn¡¯t stand a chance against him in this kind of competition. I ended up lying prone on the grass, with my limbs pinned down by Andrian¡¯s enormous paws. He shifted back into his human form and released me, flopping on his back next to me.

    ¡°What the hell was that?¡± Vargas called out, sounding indignant. ¡°How did that human do better against you than me?!¡±

    Andrian laughed as he sat up and answered, ¡°He¡¯s still got more wins than me at this point. He was my first great opponent on the battlefield.¡±

    ¡°I challenge you!¡± Vargas shouted at me. "He was going easy on you but I won''t!" His wild eyes shone in the moonlight and he grinned at me. "Or is the little human scared?"

    I was stunned by his challenge for a moment. In the back of my mind, a distant voice told me that this was something I should really be afraid of, but the atmosphere and the alcohol let me push such thoughts away. I silently accepted by standing up and taking a defensive stance. Vargas looked pleased, turned into a lion and attacked.

    I quickly realized that Vargas was a smaller lion than Andrian, so I was at less of a disadvantage against him. He also wasn''t used to fighting smaller opponents with humanoid forms. I was able to dodge and duck most of his attacks and wiggle out of his holds. I lasted much longer against Vargas than I did against Andrian, but I wasn''t strong enough to take the offense and try to pin him. Our battle ended when my stamina ran out and I couldn''t keep up with his attacks. Vargas was a graceful winner, much to my surprise, and offered to call it a draw.

    After that, the others continued to wrestle and fight, while I was content to relax on the grass and watch. I was surprised to discover that I was actually enjoying myself. I was really glad that I could experience a night like this, being wild and free. It was just one more thing that Andrian had given me.

    I thought about what Gregor had told me earlier. Hearing Andrian¡¯s story from a third party had made me happier than I could have imagined. I was endlessly comforted by the knowledge that he¡¯d worked so hard to find me. Andrian had been worried about what his friends would say to me, but the things I heard just made me love him even more. Through everything, I¡¯d never actually been alone. There was always someone who refused to give up on me. The darkness was a little easier to bear this way. Besides, even if Andrian was obsessed and refused to let me out of his sight for the rest of my life, that would just mean that someone was always watching over me.

    Finally, even the lions were tired out and we headed back to the village. We said our goodbyes and went back to the inn. I collapsed exhausted on the bed, only to discover that Andrian still felt like wrestling. I¡¯d thought I was ready for sleep, but his kisses and gentle caresses revitalized me. It seemed I was also in the mood to wrestle more and pinned him on the bed. There was still a lot of night ahead of us, and by the time we let go of each other, the sun was beginning to rise.

 Chapter Thirty Four

    The next morning I experienced my first real hangover. When I opened my eyes, just a few hours after we''d finally gone to sleep, the room was already far too bright. The sun shining through the window hurt my eyes. I wanted to close them and go back to sleep. Unfortunately, that wasn''t an option as we had to continue our travels that day.

    As soon as I sat up in bed, the massive headache hit me with full force and I held my head in my hands. Andrian stirred and looked up at me with bloodshot eyes.

    "Morning," he said in a voice that sounded as harsh as mine usually did. I grimaced in place of a smile and he laughed lightly before wincing. It seemed he had a similar headache.

    We wiped ourselves down with wet towels from the washbasin provided by the inn, then got dressed before heading downstairs to meet the others. Luxania and Shidah were already downstairs waiting for us and both looked amused by my and Andrian''s rough appearance. Estra soon came down and clicked his tongue disapprovingly at our bedraggled states, but offered no comment.

    We went to the stable to get our horses and were soon back on the road. The route out of town was marked by an archway similar to the one we had entered through, also guarded by two sentries. They wished us a safe journey and we continued on into the jungle.

    Riding my horse was a whole new variety of suffering. Despite only moving at a gentle trot, the movements made my head pound and my stomach churn. I was grateful I hadn''t eaten breakfast because it wouldn''t have stayed in my stomach for long. When I was in the shade of the trees, all I could think about was my stomach, and when the sun hit me, all I could think about was the pain in my head. The sunlight, which I normally enjoyed, became a vicious enemy to me, in light of my hangover.

    When we stopped for lunch, the mere thought of food made my stomach turn. Andrian didn''t seem to be faring much better, as he waved away all offers of food in favor of lying on the ground next to me. A nap sounded much more appealing than food at that moment. We both lay down under the cover of a tree and closed our eyes. My churning stomach and pounding head were easier to bear when I was no longer upright and moving.

    I didn''t get to rest for long before Estra attempted to coax us both back to life with an herbal drink he had prepared while we were lying comatose on the ground. I accepted the drink gratefully, then winced at its terrible taste. I cast a suspicious glance at Estra as the drink made my stomach complain again when it had just finally calmed down.

    "Oh, just be patient," Estra told me when he saw my unhappy looking face, "the best medicine always tastes bad. Give it some time to work."

    I closed my eyes again to wait, and listened as Estra began to lecture Andrian as he gave him his dose of the bitter liquid. According to Estra, mellyn blossom liquor was far too strong for a human to handle, and Andrian should have known better. I wasn''t sure if my current condition proved or disproved that statement. I was certainly suffering a lot, but so was Andrian, who definitely wasn''t human, and I had a low tolerance by human standards anyway. Andrian didn''t argue with him, though, and accepted the scolding that came with the cure to his misery.

    Sure enough, whatever concoction Estra made for us worked, and I soon felt much better. I could bear to have the sun in my eyes and I no longer felt nauseated. Andrian looked much better as well. We were finally able to eat something before we continued on our way to the trading city. My head was a lot clearer and riding my horse didn''t feel like a torture any more.

    We rode long and hard for the rest of the day, stopping only as the sun began to set in the distance. We found a spot that would fit our tents well enough and began to set up camp. Grilled flatbread and a soup made from dried beans and mushrooms was our simple dinner, which I ate with enthusiasm. I had eaten a little at lunch, but it wasn''t nearly enough. Since arriving at the Golden Palace, I''d gotten used to eating my fill at least three times each day. Skipping breakfast and barely eating at lunch had left me feeling overly hungry. When I got my first taste of the soup and fresh bread, I started eating ravenously.

    By the time our meal was over, I had consumed three bowls and was ready to burst. Despite the slight discomfort of being overfull, I was incredibly satisfied and began to feel sleepy. But before I could head for my sleeping bag, Estra asked me to join him in his tent, saying he had something he wanted to try with me. I wanted to refuse out of sheer exhaustion, but Estra insisted that I''d regret saying no.

    I followed Estra back to his tent, and once we were alone, he turned to me with a broad grin and told me to sit down, gesturing to the small table and stools he always set up in his tent. No matter where we stopped for the night, Estra always set up his tent the same fashion; a nest of blankets to sleep on, the wicker table and stools, and a shelf that was somehow always filled with various herbs and medicinal plants. It was amazing that he was willing to take the time to set it up every night, and even more amazing that he somehow kept it all organized and compact enough to travel with. In fact, now that it occurred to me to question it, I realized that his tent bag couldn''t possibly hold all of this stuff. How could I not have noticed this before? From the outside, his tent looked exactly like the one I slept in, but from the inside, my tent was significantly smaller than his.

    Once I realized the inconsistencies, I couldn''t think of anything else. I stood frozen for a moment, gaping at the space inside the tent. The part that really bothered me was that I''d entered his tent so many times without ever noticing. Why had I never questioned the fire in the corner? When had I ever heard of a fire burning inside a tent?

    "Ah, I see you finally noticed," Estra chuckled, "I honestly wasn''t sure if you couldn''t see it or if you were simply pretending you didn¡¯t. This space is a magical pocket of sorts. It took me years of work to create it. The tent itself is made from the skin of a monster that possessed a large amount of magic, and it''s imbued with a variety of spells to increase its internal capacity without increasing its outer size or weight."

    I understood the words he used, but my mind couldn''t wrap itself around it. How was it possible to distort reality enough to create something like this? It didn''t seem possible that it was only now that I had noticed something so obvious.

    "It seems the mellyn blossom liquor wasn''t such a bad idea for you after all," he mused, "that''s the only thing I can attribute your sudden awareness to. Perhaps the magic hides itself from the minds of those who can''t see it, or maybe because you couldn''t perceive magic, your brain explained it to you as normal... I couldn''t say for sure."

    What he said this time actually made sense to me. If I wasn''t aware of the magic, maybe my mind wouldn''t let me see it. A self defense mechanism to protect me from the paradox.

    "Now, while you were out drinking like a fool with those lions, I was busy thinking about all the potions I¡¯ve made over the years, and I think I remember one that is basic enough for you to make but will be highly valuable for you," he told me, his eyes bright with enthusiasm. "Tonight I want to try it out and see if you really have the potential to continue your training as a shaman. Success or failure isn''t what matters, but the process and progress you make while trying, so don''t concern yourself too much."

    "What... potion?" I asked him, my curiosity peaked.

    ¡°Will you trust me enough to let it be a surprise for when you are done?¡± Estra asked me in response to my question.

    I nodded that I would. I wanted to know what he was planning, but I was willing to trust him in this matter. Estra was both skilled and interested in helping me, so I couldn''t see the harm in letting him do things his way.

    "Excellent," he said with a clap of his hands, "Now the first thing you''ll need to do is find the right materials. I''m going to describe each one and I want you to find them on the shelf. I could collect them for you, but I think you''ll learn better if you have to identify them yourself."

    The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    "What... first?" I asked, looking cautiously at the shelf. I had no idea if I was capable of what he was proposing. I''d read books on many subjects over the years, including medicine, but I''d never put any effort into studying herbs. I also wasn''t sure if anything I''d read about Vraynian medicine could help me with the plants that grew in the Beastands.

    "First, look for a plant with small white buds and a stiff, tree-like stem," he instructed, not even glancing at the shelf, "it''s called a valerian flower, and it will be in a bunch, but not dried. This should be an easy one, as I believe valerian grows in your lands as well."

    He was right that valerian could be found in Vrayna, and it was a flower I could easily recognize. I found it on one of the shelves and placed it on the table. Feeling a little more confident, I looked to Estra for further instructions.

    "Next is the root of a guari plant," he told me, "which you wouldn''t have seen before. It¡¯s almost black in color and looks like a cluster of small hair braids."

    The guari root took me a while to identify. There were many varieties of thin, dark-colored roots on the shelf. I failed three times before I finally found the right one. Each time I brought him the wrong one, Estra would tell me some basic information about the root I''d brought. I did my best to memorize the names and appearances, but if I was being honest, they all looked pretty much the same to me.

    We continued this activity for quite some time. The potion I was supposed to make had only five ingredients, but each one was increasingly difficult to find. When I was finished, we had guari root and valerian, as well as the seeds of a glowing flower, a few freshly plucked leaves from a ginseng plant, and a flowering plant that constantly dripped a blue dew. Ginseng was one I had heard of before, but it was rare to find it growing in Vrayna and I''d never seen an image of the plant. The whole process took me almost a full movement, and I learned the names of dozens of things I would never remember.

    "Now, the first thing you need to do is collect a vial of the dew," Estra explained as he handed me a small glass container, "It''s okay if you get it on your hands, though it may cause a slight numbing of the area it touches. The dew of the hyprineus flower can be used for pain relief and is often added in very small amounts to massage oils and the like to aid in relaxation."

    Estra paused while I placed the vial under one of the drooping, dripping flowers. A drop of the blue dew immediately fell into the glass vial and lightly splashed my fingertip. My finger immediately became numb and tingly, but it was a mild sensation and not unpleasant.

    "Now you need to grind the seed of the glowing flower into dust. This is where it gets a little tricky. Making potions doesn''t require you to talk, but it does require you to infuse your ingredients with magic at various points in the process." Estra handed me a mortar and pestle made of something that looked like glass but was as heavy as stone. "Open your third eye and concentrate on feeling your magic."

    I concentrated and did as he instructed. I thought that maybe he was right about the mellyn blossom liquor, because I was able to access my magic with more ease than before. Estra watched me closely, and after a few moments he nodded as if satisfied.

    "Good," he said, dropping the glowing flower seeds into the mortar. "Now grind the seeds. As you grind them, focus on directing your magic into them through the pestle. If you do it correctly, the powder from the seeds will emit a small amount of light."

    I touched the pestle to the seeds without pressing down, concentrating on feeling my magic, which already felt like it had increased since I arrived in the Beastlands. It took me a while to figure out what I needed to do to direct my magic through the pestle. Trying to control something as intangible and wild as magic felt like trying to control the wind. I couldn''t control it all at once, but I found a way to direct some of it the way I wanted. I felt the magical energy flow through me and out of my hands, infusing the tools I was holding. I began to grind the seeds while maintaining the flow of my magic. As the seeds turned to dust, they began to emit a soft orange glow.

    "Oh, very good," Estra commented in a voice that sounded genuinely pleased, "such excellent results for your first attempt! If I didn''t know better, I''d think you were already someone''s apprentice."

    Being praised with such enthusiasm was something completely foreign to me. I smiled until my eyes crinkled and I felt the tips of my ears turn red. Encouraged, I looked to Estra to tell me what to do next.

    "Grab a stone bowl off the shelf and ladle one scoop of water from the pot on the fire," he continued, "then you''re going to cut the guari root and add it to the water. You don''t have to put any of your magic into the root. That part will come later for this ingredient." He waited while I followed his instructions, and when I was done, he said, "Now you''re going to take the ginseng leaves, chew them, and let them mix with your saliva. Do not swallow them. Instead, spit them into the mortar with the seed dust."

    I took the ginseng leaves and put them in my mouth. The bitter, earthy flavor wasn¡¯t entirely unpleasant as there was also a hidden sweetness to it as well. When the ginseng leaves had turned to mush, I spat them into the pile of seed dust. Upon contact, the seed dust began to glow brighter, turning a shade of deep yellow.

    ¡°Excellent, that¡¯s exactly what we wanted to see. Now add the dew from the hyprineus and use the pestle to mix and mash it all together while directing your magic into it again. The more you can infuse into the base of the potion, the more powerful it will be, but don¡¯t overdo it, because there¡¯s more to come after this.¡±

    I picked up the vial, which was now full of dew, and poured the syrupy blue liquid into the mortar. I began to channel my magic into it as I mashed it all together. As I pressed and stirred the small bowl of ingredients, the yellow glow became brighter and then turned a deep shade of green.

    "That''s perfect," Estra announced right after it turned green, "these ingredients are ready. Next, you''ll need to direct your magic and use it to bring your bowl of water to a boil. The water is already quite hot and the bowl you put the water in is made of a material that can conduct heat, so this is well within your abilities. First, you''ll have to channel your magic into it, just like you did with the pestle, but this time you''re going to use that magic to warm the bowl enough to boil the water. How you do this, however, is entirely up to you. Take a moment to think about how you can use your magic to create enough heat for that. You''re the one who has to visualize it to actualize it."

    I thought for a moment before continuing. I wished he would give me more direction. So far, I had learned to sense and direct my magic, but the idea of actively using it hadn''t even crossed my mind. It was clear, however, that Estra felt I needed to figure it out for myself. I placed my hands on the sides of the bowl and began to direct my magic into the bowl. Visualize it to actualize it. Suddenly his words began to make sense and I closed my eyes and visualized the bowl coming to a boil. Once I had it as a clear image in my mind, I noticed that my hands began to feel warm. The warmth continued to increase as I continued to visualize the inner part of the bowl becoming hot, like fire, until the outside became too hot for me to keep my hands on it. I opened my eyes as I pulled my hands away and saw that the water in the bowl was boiling.

    "The heat from the bowl will keep it boiling for a while," Estra informed me, his voice trembling ever so slightly. "Now you need to add a few petals of the valerian to the water and stir until the mixture turns cloudy and dark." I added the valerian and took a wooden spoon to begin stirring. After only a few stirs, the chopped roots had completely dissolved and turned the water a solid blackish color. "Add the mixture from the mortar and continue stirring while directing your magic into the bowl. If you''re successful, the liquid in the bowl will turn a transparent shade of green."

    I added the liquid from the vial to the bowl and stirred the resulting mixture. I closed my eyes and imagined the contents of the bowl turning a clear green color. I wasn''t sure if I was imagining the right shade of green, but I didn''t think that part would matter too much.

    "Hah!" Estra suddenly shouted, causing me to open my eyes.

    The contents of the bowl had turned a translucent shade of emerald, and I could see the bottom of the bowl again. The murky water had completely transformed, and a green glow emanated from the resulting potion. It seemed that I had succeeded in creating something worthwhile.

    "Excellent work Falyn!" Estra exclaimed excitedly, "I am thoroughly impressed. I didn''t want to make you nervous by telling you this, but it''s actually quite rare to succeed on your first attempt at a potion. All the magic in the world won''t help you if you don''t have the focus to direct it, and that''s usually something that takes a lot of time and effort to master. You may not have much magic, but you have very good control over what little you have."

    Estra grabbed one of his teacups and handed it to me, asking me to hold it for him. He wrapped his hands in a blanket so he could pick up the bowl and pour the still boiling liquid into the cup. After putting the bowl down, he took both the cup and my hand in his and smiled at me with wide eyes.

    "The potion you just successfully made is a recipe from an old friend of mine. A number of years ago, his village was attacked by a monster called a dragon. Uh, a dragon is a reptile monster that flies and breathes fire," he added, seeing that I had no idea what he was talking about, "They are very rare, appearing only once every few years and only in the far east of the Beastlands. The dragon burned the village and killed hundreds of people. I went with my friend when he returned home to help the survivors. Many of the survivors had suffered severe burns and smoke inhalation. A select unfortunate few had inhaled air so hot it burned their throats and seared their vocal chords. None of the traditional remedies had worked, so my friend created this potion to help treat those people. If I am correct in my theory, you have just made a potion that will heal your voice. Drink it before you go to sleep, and you should have your voice back by morning."

 Chapter Thirty Five

    I stared at him wide eyed and disbelieving. I couldn¡¯t quite process the idea that he¡¯d taught me how to make something so precious. The damage I¡¯d done to my voice was significant and something I¡¯d expected to spend a long time recovering from, if I could recover at all. If Estra was right, he¡¯d given me something I could never repay him for.

    ¡°There¡¯s still a possibility I¡¯m wrong, as your vocal chords weren¡¯t burnt, but I have very high hopes,¡± he informed me, not looking the least bit concerned, ¡°I¡¯ll receive the cup back from you tomorrow. Take your work home and reap the benefits. Whoever ends up with you as an apprentice will be very pleased. You have a natural talent for potion making.¡±

    I left his tent in a daze, grinning stupidly as I tried not to spill any of the precious liquid as I made my way to my tent. Andrian was waiting for me inside and I excitedly began trying to explain to him what I had in the teacup I¡¯d brought back with me. Once he understood what I was holding, I could see he was as excited as I was. He did his best not to let it show since we didn¡¯t know if it would actually work, but I could see the glimmer in his eyes.

    We settled into our sleeping bags and I drank my potion in one gulp. It tasted awful. It was possibly the most foul tasting concoction I¡¯d ever put in my mouth. I could taste the bitter, earthiness of the ginseng but it was mixed with a sour flavor I didn¡¯t recognize and something cloyingly sweet as well. I was glad I¡¯d taken it in a single sip, as I doubted I would have had the strength to go back for another taste of the foul liquid.

    I had a lot of trouble falling asleep that night. Other than the taste, I suffered no ill effects from the potion, but I couldn¡¯t seem to calm my mind. After how tired I was earlier, it seemed a little unfair that now that I could finally get some rest, I couldn¡¯t drift off. I was like a child the night before a big celebration. I wondered what my voice would sound like. Would it be the same voice I used when I spoke to Amelie inside the fog? I wondered if the potion would even work. I knew I needed to sleep to find that out, but it was impossible to lay my mind to rest.

    Inevitably, I drifted off sometime late into the night. The next morning I awoke to daylight and the chirping of birds. Andrian had already left the tent and I could tell I''d overslept. I sat up and touched my throat. I was nervous and excited

    ¡°Hah,¡± I said, testing how my voice sounded. There was no pain, no coughing, and my voice was smooth and clear.

    ¡°Aaaaaahh,¡± I tested it again with a longer sound and was pleased with the results. A smooth and clear baritone voice came out of me, one that showed no hint of raspiness. The potion had worked. My first thought was that I needed to find Andrian.

    I freed myself from my sleeping bag and practically flew out of the tent. All four of my companions were sitting around the cooking fire and looked up as if they¡¯d been expecting me.

    ¡°Well?¡± Estra immediately inquired.

    I smiled broadly and nodded. Everyone looked at me expectantly and I realized they were waiting for me to say something. I immediately felt shy, even though I had often used my broken voice in front of them. But that didn¡¯t matter, because the first proper words I was going to say wouldn¡¯t be for the whole group anyway. I wanted to talk to Andrian first.

    ¡°Oh my, Falyn,¡± Luxania called out in a teasing voice, ¡°are you being shy with us?¡±

    The tips of my ears turned red at her casual jest but I ignored it. I shook my head and gestured that she should wait a moment. I grabbed hold of Andrian¡¯s arm and led him a short distance away, toward a thicket of tall trees. Once we were hidden behind the large trees, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close.

    With my mouth close to his ear, I softly said, ¡°Andri, I love you.¡±

    Andrian stiffened at the sound of my voice before pulling me into an almost bone crushing embrace. Speaking into my shoulder with an emotional voice, he asked, ¡°Did you bring me over here to tell me that?¡±

    ¡°I wanted those to be the first words I said and I wanted to say them to you and you alone,'''' I explained when I could breathe again. ¡°I¡¯ve waited a long time to be able to say this properly. I love you. Thank you for not giving up on me.¡±

    Andrian caressed my cheek with his palm and I closed my eyes, leaning into his touch. ¡°I almost feel like I¡¯m dreaming,¡± he whispered, ¡°hearing you say those words like this¡­ it feels too good to be true.¡± When I opened my eyes again, he was staring at me with intense eyes. ¡°Say it one more time?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help but laugh indulgently at his childish request. Still, I complied and replied, ¡°Now that I can say it, I¡¯ll say it whenever you want to hear it. I love you Andri. Now and in the future, you¡¯re mine.¡±

    ¡°One more time,¡± he demanded, ¡°I can¡¯t get enough of hearing you say those words with that beautiful voice of yours.¡±

    I stepped forward, causing him to take a step backwards. His back was pressed against one of the large trees and I pressed my body against his, trapping him in place. I smiled up at him and said, ¡°I love you. You¡¯re mine. Is that enough? You want to hear it again? I love you Andri¨C¡±

    I¡¯d have continued, but he cut off my words with his lips, pressing them against mine. I surrendered without hesitation, nibbling at his lips and clinging to him tightly. It was worth the slight embarrassment earlier to have this moment with him. I¡¯d done my best to express my affection with my limited speech thus far, but it felt amazing to be able to freely speak my feelings to him. The soft kisses and caresses continued for some time with the words ¡®I love you¡¯ occasionally being exchanged between us. For a brief moment in time, nothing existed but Andrian and the sounds of the surrounding jungle.

    When we finally separated our lips long enough to catch our breaths, I realized that I was truly happy. Hidden in this patch of trees, deep in the jungle of the Beastlands, and far from everything I¡¯d even known, I was happier than I¡¯d ever dreamed I¡¯d be. I was free from my father''s abuse, I¡¯d found my voice again, and I had my perfect partner by my side. On the other side of the trees were three people who had shown me kindness and friendship, and there were so many others who I was grateful to have met. So much of the past that had tormented me felt like it no longer mattered. There were some things that would stay with me forever, of course, but I felt prepared to bear those burdens. There was so much to live for now, even if there were still hardships to come.

    Hand in hand, Andrian and I walked back over to our campsite. Having said what I wanted to say to Andrian, I was ready to speak in front of the others too. Estra bragged on my behalf that I had made the potion with my own two hands, under his enlightened guidance, of course. I savored the feeling of having my accomplishments and well being celebrated. It was probably nothing special, just how people who care about someone would normally act, but the normalcy of it was exactly what made it extraordinary for me.

    The rest of our journey to the trading city passed by quickly. It was another five nights and six days of travel but I was content to just take in the unfamiliar landscape and enjoy the company of my traveling companions. If it weren''t for the joining ceremony that awaited us in the trading city, I would have liked for the trip to be a little longer.

    Other than the night I took the potion, when everyone conspired to let me sleep uninterrupted, I awoke with Andrian before the dawn to take the final watch. Normally the watches were done in rotation, so everyone would get a turn on the better shifts, but we were given an exception so I could practice swordsmanship with Andrian each morning before we departed. However, after each brutal session, I wondered if they were really doing me all that much of a favor.

    From the fourth through the sixth movement of ascent, I spent my time in agony under the tyranny of the man who claimed to love me. He pushed me until my muscles ached, left no margin for error, and treated me with none of his usual kindness and consideration. At one point, he even yelled at me. The only reason I didn''t burst into tears right then and there was because he called me "soldier," so I could convince myself that he wasn''t really mad at me and it was just a part of training.

    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

    However brutal, his methods worked. Much to my pleasure, I could feel a difference from the very first morning we spent together training. It wasn¡¯t a huge difference, but I had all the time in the world to get stronger. Once training was over, Andrian would be right back to his normal self, offering to get me water or give me a massage. Deep down, I knew that the stark contrast between his two personalities was a sign that he was doing his best for me. Knowing he was taking me seriously made it worth being yelled at.

    After our watch and training was over, everyone else would get up and start preparing for the day. When we broke camp in the morning or started a new one in the evening, duties were split up and rotated where possible, much like the watch. Everyone always did what they could and shared the burden fairly. I only rotated between dealing with the tents and cooking because I wasn¡¯t strong enough to carry water and had no skill with horses.

    Finally able to ask questions easily, I learned that the horses had special shoes on their hooves that needed to be cared for. They needed to be checked for possible health problems or parasites, and they also needed to be groomed. In the same way I was relegated to the tasks suited to me, it was only Shidah and Luxania that tended the horses, both well versed in the process. Since Shidah was also best suited for water gathering, he was never on cooking duty with me. Estra was generally relegated to the same duties as I, and Andrian often took Shidah¡¯s place as the water gatherer when Shidah was tending the horses.

    Luxania was the best cook out of everyone but it was the thing she avoided doing the most. She could produce delicious meals from our meager supplies and whatever she could scavenge from the forest, but she claimed to hate the whole process. After making us dinner one night, whilst complaining nonstop about doing it, she explained that being the oldest child in a large family meant she was the one responsible for feeding the little ones growing up. Always having to go home and prepare food while her siblings got to play had made her resent the whole process.

    Since I enjoyed cooking, I was always willing to give her my tent duty if she asked me to trade. I discovered I was fairly good at cooking as well, though my simple meals couldn¡¯t compare to Luxania¡¯s skill. It only took a couple days for me to become adept at making flatbread on the grill. On the third day, I tried making my own flatbread recipe by adding sweet berries that Andrian had found near our camp to the dough. My idea was well received, but completely unoriginal. Mixing berries, fruits, and even vegetables into flatbread dough was common and certainly not a new idea. But at least everyone enjoyed it.

    After dinner, I would join Estra in his tent, but there were no longer any discussions of treatment. We both agreed that I was doing fine on my own and left it at that. Instead, each night was a lesson in roots, flowers, and herbs. I was taught the names and medicinal properties of more plants than I could ever remember, and at the end of each visit I was shown how to make a potion. All of the potions I learned were very simple, with few ingredients to mix and minimal magic required. Of the lot, I was most proud of the healing potion I made on the third night, but a serum that would increase growth in a single plant was the one Estra claimed would be hardest. Both that serum and my healing potion were placed into proper bottles with corks and I was told we¡¯d try them out later. I also had a potion I made on the first night that wasn¡¯t meant to be used like a potion. Estra said it would provide endless light if the small bottle was never opened. It wasn''t particularly bright, but it was better than a candle.

    As the days passed, I found myself talking more and more. The first day I barely spoke once we were on the road, simply out of habit, but the others quickly caught on and began to include me in their conversations more actively than before. I was happy to be able to respond to them and be involved, but it felt strange at first because I was used to just listening and nodding my head when asked something.

    With Andrian, however, it was an entirely different situation. I forgot all about my previous concerns and began actively telling him about everything that had happened to me over the years. He never judged me or blamed me and eventually I was even able to tell him the things I¡¯d thought were too shameful to tell anyone. He listened to the stories of my darkest moments, shaking with an unspeakable rage, and he held me as I cried when I was done. The more I talked, the more I felt free of the shackles those experiences had placed on me.

    Our late night conversations eventually turned to Andrian¡¯s own experiences as well. He¡¯d struggled a lot over the years, though in very different ways. When he¡¯d made his intent to pursue me known, he¡¯d dealt with a lot more backlash than I¡¯d previously been told. Some went so far as to call him a traitor for daring to refer to a human as his mate, though they were a very small minority. The majority of his acquaintances, however, treated him as mentally ill and discouraged his efforts. After being called obsessed and repeatedly being told that I ''ran away from him'' and I would ''undoubtedly reject him and run away again'', he almost began to believe it himself.

    But in spite of all that, there were others, like Rastari and Shidah, who had actively supported him and helped him along the way. Shidah, who was bonded to his mate, understood Andrian¡¯s struggle better than most and was a source of silent support throughout the process. Rastari, despite his reputation, apparently claimed to be a romantic and was the one who insisted that Andrian be allowed to come. I felt an undeniable gratitude to both of them for their part in bringing us together.

    On the morning of the fifth day, we emerged from the jungle as if from a dream. The lush vegetation and tall leafy trees had created a comfortable environment with plenty of shade. Outside the jungle, however, was an open area with only the occasional tree or bush scattered about, leading to a white horizon off in the distance. The sun beat down on us relentlessly, and I pulled up my hood to protect my skin from burning.

    ¡°We¡¯ll reach the start of the desert tonight,¡± Shidah informed me as I marveled at the wide open space. ¡°Where we are now is sort of a middle ground between the great forest and the desert. Be very wary as we travel here, as we have no cover. If there are any monsters waiting out there, they''ll be able to hide from us, but they''ll definitely see us coming.¡± I shuddered a little at his advice, but nodded. What little training I¡¯d had would be of no use against a monster. In fact, I was still relegated to the wooden practice sword and had yet to handle a real one. For this trip, I would have to accept being protected the whole way.

    We continued along the road as it led us into the desert. When the sun reached its zenith, we paused for lunch in the shade of a grove of trees. After we ate and drank as much water as our stomachs could hold, Estra informed me it was time to test the serum I made. He said that this was the perfect landscape to test it on, as many plants would struggle to survive once the worst heat of the summer hit. He led me over to a cluster of small flowers growing over a patch of flat rock.

    ¡°This flower is a type of desert ivy that helps hold moisture in the ground during the driest part of the season,¡± Estra explained, ¡°so if we can make this grow a bit bigger, it¡¯ll help the plants in the area to survive the coming season. Don¡¯t expect anything too impressive though. This is a minor potion and a minor boost to the ecosystem.¡±

    With low expectations set, I pulled out the correct potion bottle and asked, ¡°Do I just pour it on the plant?¡±

    ¡°Essentially, yes,¡± Estra answered, ¡°if you look here, you¡¯ll see a crack in the rock. This is where they are growing from, so if you pour it here, the serum should reach the roots.¡±

    Nodding to his instructions, I pulled the cork out of the bottle and carefully poured the thick brown liquid into the crack. The potion was so unattractive that I¡¯d originally thought I¡¯d made it wrong, but Estra assured me that potions for plants and animals often looked like this. The slimy, mud-like substance oozed into the crack and disappeared.

    We watched for a moment and nothing happened. Just as I was about to give up on seeing any results, the rock began to split open and a wave of the flowering ivy poured out. I jumped back to avoid obstructing its path as it spread out in all directions. It was over almost as soon as it started and the ivy now extended about five feet from the original crack. In the scope of the desert, this was indeed a minor effect, but to me it was huge. This lush green ivy and its small purple flowers were the result of my efforts and magic. It was a powerful and rewarding feeling.

    ¡°Feels good, doesn¡¯t it?¡± Estra asked as he surveyed my results, ¡°knowing that you can cause such significant changes to the earth. That is the power of the shaman.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s amazing, actually,¡± I admitted, ¡°seeing what a single potion can do, it makes me want to create more and see what else I can do.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m glad to hear it. Actually, we¡¯ll inevitably be parting ways after your joining ceremony, but where will you and Andrian be going after that? Perhaps I can recommend some like-minded folks that would be intrigued by the idea of taking on a human apprentice.¡±

    ¡°Ha, you know, I actually have no idea where we''re going,¡± I told him with a laugh, ¡°I never thought to ask about it. Perhaps back to the lion village, or maybe we might stay at the cabin? I assumed Andrian had a plan and didn¡¯t worry about it.¡±

    Estra shook his head at me and chuckled, ¡°You really are just blindly following him wherever he wants to take you.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not like I have an opinion about it. I don¡¯t know the land and have nowhere I want to go. Anywhere is fine, as long as we go there together.¡± That¡¯s what I said, but I was suddenly curious to know where our ¡®anywhere¡¯ was going to be. I¡¯d have to ask Andrian sometime during the afternoon.

    Unaware of my contradictory thoughts, Estra just muttered, ¡°Ugh, truly spoken like a love besotted fool,¡± and shook his head at me.

 Chapter Thirty Six

    We rode hard through the afternoon, braving the heat that poured down on us in waves. The plant life became sparser as we progressed, and soon it was clear that we were in the desert. Behind us I could still see the outline of the trees we''d been sheltered by this morning, but they seemed very far away. Ahead of us was a seemingly endless sea of sand and heat, but the road continued through the desolate land and I could see the trading city like a thick black line on the horizon. If I squinted my eyes, I might have been able to see other travelers on the road ahead of us, but I couldn''t say for sure if those figures were real or a mirage.

    As the sun began to dip in the sky, we paused to set up camp. Unlike in the jungle, where we had to plan our camps in advance and often had to stop early to ensure we had a spot before dark, we could stop anywhere in the desert and it was all the same. Unfortunately, this also meant that there was nothing to use as cover to hide us from the creatures that roamed at night.

    There was no hunting or foraging to be done, so dinner was limited to the ingredients we had with us. With no water source available, Shidah opened a large cask of water we¡¯d been saving and watered the horses thoroughly. They¡¯d worked hard today and I admit I felt guilty they¡¯d been forced to bear our weights through such impenetrable heat. I was assured that all the horses were experienced with the desert and would be fine as long as they were kept hydrated and allowed proper rest.

    Nightfall came slowly in the desert. The sunset, which was glorious to behold, took a full movement to come to its completion. As the sun dipped below the horizon, the sky grew orange at first before turning a brilliant red at the halfway point. As the moon rose to share the spotlight, the sky faded to a deep pink, highlighted with purple, before finally reaching the deep blue of twilight. It was a sunset that was incomparable to any sunset I¡¯d seen before it. I watched it all in quiet wonder as we slowly ate our dinner and allowed the day¡¯s heat to dissipate from our bodies.

    After the sun had finished setting, I learned that the desert got very cold at night. The stark contrast to the warmth of the day made it seem all the more so. For safety''s sake, we avoided lighting a fire, as it would attract whatever was roaming the desert right to us. There was only a quarter of the moon remaining and the stars twinkled brightly in the sky. Though I¡¯d seen the night sky dozens of times since I left my father¡¯s home, the night seemed all the brighter and more exciting out here. Far on the horizon, the black line that was the trading city emitted a strange glow, shining like a beacon for the wayward traveller. We¡¯d arrive by sunfall the following evening to await the night of the new moon.

    I found myself shivering, despite wearing a blanket around my shoulders, and decided it was time to get into our tent for the night. Andrian came with me and wrapped me in his arms under the blankets. The heat from his body was far warmer and more satisfying than any campfire could possibly be. I soon stopped shivering and basked in his warmth as I fell asleep.

    Like every other morning, someone came around to rouse us from our slumber just before the start of the fourth movement. The cold had intensified while we slept and I wrapped myself in every layer of clothing I could find. Andrian seemed completely unaffected by the cold and I couldn¡¯t help but wonder how he was able to retain so much heat. Despite the early hour, the first hints of the rising sun could be seen. I wondered if the sunrise would be as spectacular as the sunset.

    Once the sun began to rise, which was indeed as spectacular as when it set, the warmth began to return to the land. I stretched and began the usual series of movements that Andrian had me do every morning with the intent of improving my stance. This was often the hardest part for me, as it required holding rigid and exact poses without faltering. My endurance just wasn¡¯t up to par yet and my muscles were always burning from the effort of holding the various postures.

    As we were about to move on to the next type of torture, Andrian suddenly became silent and gestured for me to do the same. I listened carefully to see if I could hear what he was hearing. There was a strange rumbling sound that seemed to be coming towards us.

    "Wake the others," he told me, not looking away from the direction of the rumbling. As I hurried to do as he said, I heard him mutter, "This isn''t good."

    I went to Shidah''s tent first, since he would be the most powerful ally in battle. It took him a moment to shake off the fog of sleep, but once he did, he sprang into action. I woke Luxania next, then the other non-combatant Estra.

    "Now go to our tent and open my bag," he instructed, "get the extra sword. Be ready to use it."

    Heart pounding, I raced back to our tent and found his bag. Tucked inside was a simple short sword in a leather sheath. I pulled the blade out of its sheath and headed back outside. Just as I exited the tent, the faint rumbling sound stopped. Was it a false alarm?

    Before I had a chance to ask, about thirty feet from us, some of the rock and sand suddenly collapsed, leaving a small crater. I felt a sense of foreboding as I looked at the hole in the ground. It was likely that the rumbling sound was the cause, but then what caused the rumbling sound?

    The answer to my question began to emerge from the bottom of the crater. One after another, the creatures poured out. Ten spider-like legs attached to a long torso with pincers at the end of two long arms. Heads without eyes, but with mouths full of teeth that looked like hundreds of needles. The hideous things were beige in color and probably about waist high. More than a dozen of them poured out before one more, at least twice my size, emerged.

    I stood gaping in horror at the sight before me. These monsters were unlike anything I''d ever seen before. I''d known fear many times in my life, but nothing prepared me for the terror and revulsion I felt when I looked at them. In Vrayna, I''d encountered a dire wolf when traveling with the Second Prince''s knights, but that was my only experience with monsters. The hand that held Andrian''s extra sword trembled. What could I possibly do against these things?

    Shidah shifted into a bear and attacked the large one without hesitation, while Andrian and Luxania took their swords and went after the smaller ones. Estra surprised me by shifting into his giant owl and flying into the air before swooping down and grabbing one of the monsters by the neck. He flew it into the air and dropped it back to the ground. The resulting impact was enough to cripple, if not kill it. In the time it took Estra to kill one, Andrian and Luxania had killed three others.

    The larger monster howled in pain as Shidah''s bear form tore off its limbs one by one, his jaws clenched tightly around its spine. It was clear who would win this battle. The monsters I found so terrifying were no match for my companions, who dispatched them with incredible speed. It would have been a perfect victory if not for the one monster that managed to dodge Andrian''s wild swings and charged at me where I was standing near the tents.

    Not knowing what else to do, I prepared a defensive stance and stood with Andrian¡¯s sword held at the ready in front of me.

    Day two, I coached myself as I braced for its approach, this is the strike from day two. Just wait for the right moment and¨C

    The monster came into range and I swung the sword downwards, trying to strike it down as it made its attack. And I missed. However, I managed to redirect its attack so that instead of a fatal wound to my stomach, those needle-like teeth were embedded in my arm. I clenched my jaw to keep from screaming in pain, so as not to distract the others from their own battles. Besides, with the creature attached to my arm, it was an easy target for my sword. I stabbed into its back and its jaws released my arm as it shrieked in pain. Blood gushed from where it bit me, but I ignored that and swung my sword again, decapitating the thing before it could recover.

    Instinctively, I dove back into my tent to grab the healing potion I still had in my bag. I was losing a lot of blood from the dozens of tiny but deep wounds in my forearm. I heard someone calling to me from outside the tent, footsteps approaching quickly, and another person saying something about getting bandages. I ignored them all and opened the potion, pouring it over the bite. I felt a little dizzy. I''d lost a lot of blood in a short amount of time. Should I be worried? No, the bleeding stopped. I feel sleepy. Is the tent moving?

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    I was no longer alone in the tent. Andrian was suddenly next to me, supporting my waist and trying to check my injury. My head was swimming, but somehow everything was starting to feel less foggy. The bite, which would have bled me out quickly if left untreated, was healing rapidly before our eyes. By the time Estra arrived with the bandages, my skin was whole and the pain was gone. I couldn''t be certain, but I was pretty sure that some of the blood I''d lost had been replenished as well.

    I looked at Andrian with a foggy grin on my face and told him, "I killed one."

    "Yes, you did," Andrian laughed, "you did a good job. Those things are just nasty little parasites, but they''re not easy to kill."

    "To be honest, they were the most terrifying things I''ve ever seen," I admitted, "those legs, and those teeth, and... ugh. What the hell were they?"

    "Monsters from the wildlands," Estra replied with a shrug, "they''re new to me. Uglier than most."

    "They are a type of ground dwelling monster we call Devourers," Andrian informed us, "they tunnel around and emerge when they want to feed. It''s rare to see them this far west, or at all. They usually eat corpses over attacking live prey like us."

    "You''ve seen these things before?" I asked.

    "A few times. I helped wipe out a nest of them a while back," Andrian explained, "There were hundreds of them in that nest and there were nowhere near enough corpses lying around to keep them fed, so they started attacking army camps and nearby villages. We had to follow their underground tunnels to find the main nest, which was all the way into the wildlands. We lost some good soldiers that day. I''ll never forget the sight of those creatures climbing over each other to get to us."

    I shuddered at the thought. A dozen of them was more than I ever wanted to see.

    ¡°But how is that arm feeling?¡± Estra asked me, grabbing my arm to inspect it. ¡°It looks completely healed, but I can''t tell if there''s still injuries under the skin."

    I tried moving my arm in various ways before answering, ¡°I think it''s actually healed. It doesn''t hurt, at least. But I still feel a little light-headed from all the bleeding.¡±

    "Oh, very nice!" Estra exclaimed, "Your first healing potion was a complete success then. It would take a far more difficult recipe to make a potion strong enough to restore all that lost blood. The fact that it healed such a horrible wound is an impressive feat."

    I couldn''t help but check my arm again to make sure it was really healed. No matter how I moved it, there was definitely no pain. I smiled faintly at my scarless skin, feeling proud of my work.

    ¡°I¡¯m just glad you thought to grab it as quickly as you did,¡± Andrian commented, ¡°those teeth are pretty long and probably severed multiple arteries. Another few minutes of bleeding and you wouldn¡¯t be having this conversation.¡± Andrian gave me a stern look and continued, ¡°You did well, and I hope this can serve as a lesson about the reality of battle.¡±

    I pondered his words for a moment. Why would I ever want to go into battle? Assuming he had misinterpreted my motives, I shook my head and said, ¡°I¡¯m not learning the sword for the purpose of going into battle though. I¡¯m learning so I can defend myself. I want to be stronger because I don¡¯t want to spend the rest of my life being protected. But the only reason I would end up in battle is on days like today when I can¡¯t avoid it.¡±

    Andrian sighed and explained, "That''s not exactly what I meant. In training, you are taught movements that you use to fight one or many opponents. First you memorize those movements, then you find a sparring partner to practice them on. But your sparring partner isn''t trying to kill you and your sparring partner also isn''t a monster. No matter how much you prepare, it''s different when you''re fighting for your life. The fear, the adrenaline, and the confusion; for some people, it''s like being intoxicated. They find it exhilarating and revel in the moment. Others find it overwhelming or terrifying. I¡¯ve seen a couple guys that just froze in place and let the monsters cut ¡®em down, but then there are others who go to the complete opposite extreme and start swinging wildly at everything in their path. Of course, many are able to stay calm and use their skills and training in the heat of battle. For better or worse, you now know which type of person you are."

    "Ah, I see what you mean," I replied, "but I really can''t say what type of person this makes me. Even though it just happened, it feels like a hazy memory at best. I mean, I certainly didn''t revel in it, but I didn''t freeze up either. At least I don''t think I did. I was scared, but I was able to think. And I don''t want to do it again, if that''s possible".

    Andrian laughed at my honest statement and said, "I would have been very surprised if you said it was fun. It''s good that you were able to think. That''s a good sign that you''re not doing all this for nothing."

    "What do you mean?" I asked, ¡°How could it be for nothing?¡±

    "Well, would you want to keep doing all that work if you couldn''t reap the benefits?" Estra asked with a raised eyebrow, "If you didn''t have magic, would you still want to learn about potions, knowing you could never make them?"

    I couldn''t argue with their logic. What would be worse? Knowing I needed to be protected, or thinking I''d learned enough to protect myself and finding out I was wrong at a crucial moment. Obviously, the latter would be the worst scenario. If I was to be honest, the main reason I wanted to be able to fight for myself was because we still had to go back to Vrayna. If we went back for the wedding and I ran into my father''s men... I didn''t want to be helpless. I hadn¡¯t admitted that to him, or myself, quite yet. If it came to it, could I face Albrecht with the same calmness I''d faced the Devourer with? I hoped so.

    After both Estra and Luxania carefully examined my arm, they concluded that we could continue traveling without putting me in any danger, but Estra insisted that I drink another healing potion before we left. I''d been too worried about the bleeding the first time to notice, but the potion tasted even worse than the one I drank for my voice. I idly wondered about what made the two potions so different. If a regular healing potion allowed me to recover from blood loss and injury, why didn''t we just use one for my voice as well?

    When I asked my question, Estra began a lengthy explanation that didn''t make all that much sense to me. I eventually understood that there was a difference between a fresh wound and a partially healed one, and that general healing was different from specialized healing. When I thought of the doctors of Vrayna, what he said made a little more sense. The apothecary couldn''t diagnose illnesses, and only basic medical treatments were performed by the general practitioners, who could diagnose illnesses. From what Estra told me, a basic healing potion would have taken away the pain and healed the remaining wounds, but it wouldn''t have healed my voice. General potions and specialized potions were as fundamentally different as the different branches of human medicine. I had a lot to learn. But either way, my arm was healed, my blood was replenished, and I could look forward to learning many different potions in the future. That was good enough for me.

    While we talked and packed up the tents, Shidah was hard at work collecting the undamaged pieces of the largest Devourer''s exoskeleton. I learned that, in the Beastlands, where smelting and blacksmithing were common, the best armor and weapons were made from the remains of monsters. Things like exoskeletons, claws, bones, and fangs could be used to make swords, shields, and even full plate armor. What Shidah was collecting would be sold and used to further strengthen the beast army.

    Packed and ready, we continued on our way without further incident. By mid-afternoon, the black line on the horizon revealed itself to be an enormous city surrounded by a thick stone wall with a large gate to allow people traveling the road to enter the city. The wall was far less magnificent than the one surrounding the inner parts of the Golden City, but it was spectacular in its own right. The wall continued in both directions, well beyond my line of sight. If I had to hazard a guess, it was the size of the Golden City plus the forest surrounding it.

    Because we had taken a detour to the south, we entered the city through the southern gate, where the rest of the army had entered from the north. Our destination, where we would rejoin the others, was in the center of the city and it would take us until the afternoon of the next day to get there. For tonight we would enter the city and find lodgings for the night.

    The main gate had more guards than expected, but they seemed unconcerned about our group. Their job was to watch for invading monsters, not travelers. In Vrayna, the guards were there to keep the common folk from showing themselves in front of the nobility and to protect the Royal family. Here, all beastmen were free to come and go as they pleased, and the guards were there to protect everyone, no matter who they were.

    The Golden Palace and my father''s home seemed so far away now, as did the person I had become while I was there. I was eager to take the next step in my journey. I no longer had to be Julien de Ramport, the unwanted son and sacrificial bride. I was Falyn, with a lifetime of experiences to live and a mate who loved me. The road here had been long and arduous, but I''d made it in one piece. And thus we entered the western trading city of the Beastlands.

    End of Part 1.

 Chapter Thirty Seven

    The size of western trading city was on a scale unlike anything I¡¯d ever seen before. At first it looked like a tapestry of disorganized chaos, but I quickly realized that the city was methodically separated into districts and further broken down into sections and streets that were marked by carved wooden signs. We had entered through the southern gate of the city, which landed us within the boundaries of the fire district. There was also a water district, a tree district, and many others. Our eventual destination was simply referred to as the city center, which was the hub for the beast army, the council of elders, and all the major social gatherings that took place in the city.

    The lion village, despite its vast size, had the same sense of community that the smaller villages did. People had a sense of belonging there and . The trading city was like a whole other world. It was like swimming through a sea of people, where faces blended into one anonymous blur. As we made our way through the city, it felt like we were just part of the scenery, with barely a glance coming our way from the passersby.

    We navigated the vast metropolis filled with streets, alleys, and various types of shops. The buildings themselves seemed to be carved out of the desert itself, architectural marvels made from sandstone and granite. The winding streets and alleys were like a maze, weaving around countless buildings where merchants and artisans sold their wares. The street markets were densely packed, hosting a myriad of smaller stalls and vendors, but there was still ample room for us to travel the streets on horseback in search of an inn.

    Andrian had told me in advance that he¡¯d never been to the western trading city, but he¡¯d spent ample time in the eastern one, which was very similar in organization. Estra and Luxania led us to our destination, as they were the most familiar with the city. Estra, being a member of one of the nomadic tribes, knew his way around almost everywhere in the Beastlands. Luxania knew the western city well, as it was very close to the lands that belonged to the fox tribe. After the joining ceremony, she would return to her village, which was less than a day¡¯s ride to the south once you were out of the desert.

    Shidah, on the other hand, looked as lost as I did. The bear tribes were all concentrated in the north of the Beastlands and he¡¯d had little occasion to travel far enough south to enter either of the trading cities. I got the impression that he had little desire to do so anyway. However, unlike Shidah, I found the whole experience to be exhilarating, whereas he looked like the large city was an inconvenience he wished would disappear. He hadn¡¯t looked like that when we were in the lion village, so I could only assume that the enhanced scale of the city was too much for him.

    We wove our way through the labyrinth of streets until we reached an inn that both Luxania and Estra recommended. Similar to Vrayna, there were inns of varying quality and price, with some being safer than others. They had agreed on this one mostly based on how safe it would be to bring me, a human, there. While I was assured that no aggressive actions would be taken against me for being human, they wanted to avoid places known for things like drunken brawls that I might accidentally get involved in. Or so they told me. After my experience with that wolf family in the lion village, I couldn¡¯t help but think that they were trying to avoid me running into beastmen who wouldn¡¯t welcome a human in their midst. I wished they wouldn¡¯t bother. Since that evening in the bathhouse, I¡¯d come to terms with the fact that I was an unwelcome guest in the Beastlands, at least for some. I was okay with it because there would also be people like Andrian¡¯s friends, who would welcome me with open arms. After spending so long being despised by everyone around me, only being disliked by some was a vast improvement. Plus, I couldn¡¯t help but understand any natural prejudice they might have; I knew well enough that humans could be bigger monsters than the creatures that came out of the wildlands.

    Luxania secured a couple of rooms for us and a nest on the roof for Estra, a common feature in all inns, as I now understood. I kept my hood over my head when we went to the inn''s tavern for dinner and steered clear of the public bath. Mindful of the effort they had put into choosing the inn for my comfort, I thought it best to avoid drawing attention to myself. I didn''t want their efforts to be in vain.

    We had an uneventful but delicious dinner. There was a fire pit in the middle of the table so we could order various types of meat and grill them ourselves. Alongside the grilling meat, there were plates of cooked greens, vegetable soup, roasted potatoes, and, of course, flatbread. Satisfied, we retired to our rooms for the night. Unlike the previous inn where Andrian and I shared a room with two small beds, this time, we had one large, luxuriously soft bed to share. It was big enough for an entire family to sleep on and luxuriously soft. We washed our bodies with wet cloths from a washbasin and climbed into the bed without putting on new clothes.

    The feel of Andrian¡¯s skin against my own, so warm and inviting, was exactly what I needed after such an overwhelming day. It wasn¡¯t until I was entwined with Andrian with my head on the pillow that I realized how close I¡¯d come to dying this morning. If I hadn''t gone to retrieve the sword, swung it even a second later, or failed to remember the healing potion in my bag... I had gotten lucky. One misstep, and I would have left Andrian all alone. I held him tightly, attempting to push aside the hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach.

    ¡°Finally hit you, huh?¡± Andrian asked me. Since he had wrapped himself around my waist, he was looking up at me from my chest. Only lying down could I feel tall next to this man.

    I nodded, not trusting my voice. My brush with death didn¡¯t even feel real to me, but the horrible, guilt-inducing, heart wrenching images in my mind of what my death would do to Andrian wouldn¡¯t leave me alone. It made me want to cry for a future that hadn¡¯t come to pass. I hugged his head against me and closed my eyes again the onslaught of emotions coming over me.

    ¡°When I saw you bleeding like crazy and killing that thing¡­ I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve ever been so scared in my life. But you were so calm about the whole thing, so I pretended I wasn¡¯t bothered because¡­ as scared as I was, I was also really proud of you for handling yourself so well,¡± Andrian confessed in a muffled voice, his face pressed against my chest. I felt his arms squeeze my waist, as if he were trying to make sure I couldn¡¯t escape. ¡°I won¡¯t ever stand in your way, but you have to promise me that you won¡¯t disappear on me again. Now that I¡¯ve found you, I don¡¯t know what I¡¯d do if I lost you again.¡±

    Tears welled up in my eyes as he spoke. I knew I hadn''t done anything wrong, but somehow, I felt like I had. My voice cracked a little as I reassured him, "I have no intention of disappearing or dying or anything else. This morning... situations like this morning are one of the reasons why I''ve been trying to learn how to defend myself. I can promise you that I''ll never put myself in a situation like that on purpose."

    ¡°I know you wouldn¡¯t,¡± Andrian sighed, ¡°and to be honest, who knows what might have happened if we hadn¡¯t done what little training we have. I can see now that teaching you how to take care of yourself is the best way to protect you. Although I admit, I¡¯d rather keep you locked away somewhere safe where no one but me can find you.¡±

    I laughed and answered, ¡°Only if I can lock you away too.¡±

    "You can," Andrian said, looking up at me with a far too serious face. "If that''s what you want, we can go to a place where no one will ever find us, and it can be just the two of us on some remote mountain top for the rest of our lives."

    The offer was surprisingly tempting, despite sounding utterly insane. I couldn''t tell if he was joking or not. I hoped he was. I also hoped he wasn''t. However, even if he was serious, I didn''t think that was something that would make Andrian happy.

    ¡°I think that might be a little much,¡± I finally answered, ¡°but I wouldn¡¯t mind a vacation house on that mountain top. Actually, now that I¡¯m thinking about it, I meant to ask you where we¡¯re going after all this is done. Estra had asked me about where we¡¯d be living and I realized I have no clue what your plan is. To be honest, I haven¡¯t even thought about what comes after all this.¡±

    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

    Andrian burst out laughing and replied, ¡°Would you be upset if I told you I have no plan? I guess the first thing I¡¯ll need to do is ask for a reassignment or something, since I have no intention of taking you to the eastern front. If they don¡¯t want to reassign me, I can always quit.¡±

    ¡°You can just quit like that?¡± I asked, amazed by how casually he said such things.

    ¡°Of course I can quit. I¡¯d have to find something else I could do instead, but I¡¯m not sworn to serve for life or anything. I can retire whenever I choose to,¡± he explained to me, ¡°Is that not how it works in Vrayna?¡±

    I shook my head, ¡°No, not at all. There¡¯s three types of official soldiers in Vrayna: the knights, who are sworn for life and their positions are often hereditary; the King¡¯s army, who volunteer to serve for life; and the conscripts, ordinary people ordered by Royal decree to be cannon fodder for the King¡¯s army. The conscripts can¡¯t say no and they fight until they die or we win. The only ones that have any freedom are the mercenaries, but they''re not sanctioned by the Crown so they aren¡¯t official.¡±

    ¡°Well, even as a general, I am free to go at any time. Though, it¡¯s more likely that they will agree to reassign me, considering the circumstances,¡± Andrian said confidently, before growing quiet for a moment. He softly added, ¡°You know, sometimes I forget that this is technically an arranged marriage. When I''m with you, I don''t think about things like peace treaties and war.¡±

    ¡°I wish I could forget so easily¡­¡± I muttered quietly, ¡°At this point, my only regret is that we still have to go back to Vrayna for some overly grand ceremony filled with people like my father.¡± My mood instantly darkened as I thought about it. "I wish this could only be about us and not about politics."

    ¡°Then let¡¯s just think about ourselves and forget about politics. Besides, I¡¯m actually glad that we¡¯re going back to Vrayna. I understand why you don¡¯t want to, but there¡¯s a lot to look forward to,¡± Andrian¡¯s eyes sparkled in the soft moonlight coming through the window, ¡°First, it means that we get to be twice joined. Once for each of our homelands. I like the idea of us being official mates in the eyes of both our peoples. Second, there were some quality humans, like that Duke that we stayed with and even that stuffy Prince Elantro guy, so I wouldn¡¯t mind seeing those folks again. Plus, we have one more reason to go back. Aren¡¯t you looking forward to seeing your father and the people like him finally suffer for what they¡¯ve done?¡±

    His first two reasons were actually quite sound, but it was the final reason that gave me pause. Even if I didn¡¯t want to go back, wouldn¡¯t it be worth it to witness my father¡¯s downfall? I still had a part to play in this after all. The beastmen had been upfront about helping me find my voice so I could help them take down my father, but I hadn¡¯t really believed it would happen. Now that I had my voice back, I had a duty, not only to my mother, but to the Beastlands and the common people of Vrayna, to use that voice to speak out against my father.

    "Thank you," I said to Andrian. "With so much going on, I''d forgotten that there was still something I have to do. I won''t really be free of his shadow until he no longer has the power to come after me. And I owe it to my mother and myself to go back there. I''ve been so focused on us that I wasn''t thinking about the big picture. My father and his men need to be punished, and I''m the only witness to what they''ve done."

    Andrian shifted his body so we were face to face, his head back on the pillow. His eyes searched mine for a moment before he spoke. ¡°I¡¯m glad you¡¯re focused on us. There''s a lot of time between now and then, and you really don''t need to worry about all that just yet. Elantro said he¡¯d investigate on his end too, and what matters right now is you and me. I only brought it up because it occurred to me that there will be a lot of extra people at our joining because of the treaty.¡±

    "I suppose so. I hadn''t really thought about it..." I paused for a moment, a hint of concern flickering across my face, "But now that I have, I''m a little worried. I should have expected this based on what the engagement party was like, but how big of a ceremony is this going to end up being? And should I be worried about how it''s going to be received? A lot of the Vraynian nobility were against the treaty."

    "Well, it was voted on by all the generals, the area marshals and marshal generals, their superiors on the military council, and the council of elders of each village," Andrian counted his fingers as he listed each group. "The vote was unanimous in favor of the treaty, but there were many who cast their votes with the wildlands in mind, rather than peace with the humans. So, at a minimum they all see this as necessary and don''t oppose the ceremony."

    "But, how many will actually be there to support us?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

    "Less than half," Andrian told me bluntly, "but there may be more in our favor now. Some objected to the idea of an arranged marriage, which is common for humans but almost unheard of for us. Our situation is quite different from what we consider an arranged marriage, which will help a little. But as I said, everyone voted for this. There¡¯s no opposition to the ceremony, just folks who don¡¯t like humans.¡±

    "I can live with that. I don''t much like humans either," I said with an ironic laugh. "Everything terrible I''ve ever experienced has been perpetrated by humans. Besides, from what you''ve told me about the Beastlands, I can see how messed up we are. All we¡¯ve ever shown to the beastmen is how awful we can be."

    "There are a lot of awful people out there, yes, but there are also good ones. I meant what I said to those wolves in the bathhouse. If you only look at the worst examples of the species, of course humans are awful," Andrian gave me a pointed look as he said that, "But what about the best examples? We can''t blame the entire species for the actions of a select group. Besides, how could I ever say I don''t like humans when my favorite, most cherished person is a human?"

    I laughed with significantly less irony as he proceeded to nuzzle and tease me, expressing how much he adored me. I loved how he always seemed to know what to say to make me feel better. Yet, I couldn''t shake the feeling that we were caught between two worlds, with neither side truly in favor of our union, all because I was human and Andrian wasn''t.

    His teasing ended with him sealing my lips with his, kissing me deeply before pulling away. "I don''t give a shit what either side thinks. Whether they support us or not, it doesn''t matter. I found you, you were willing to come with me, and we''re going to be joined, married, and whatever else I can think of to bind you to me for life. We''ll have plenty of time to make up for the last ten years, and we''ll be better, stronger people together. As an added bonus, our union will be a symbol of peace. People can dislike it all they want now, but we''ll be remembered by future generations as the love that brought peace to two nations. So why worry about things that don''t matter?"

    I sighed, "You''re right. But it''s hard not to worry about those things. Is it so wrong for me to want everyone to either be happy for us or not bother coming?"

    "You''re not wrong, just not realistic," Andrian answered honestly. "I felt the same way before. I wanted everyone to support me or leave me alone, but there were a lot of people who called me crazy and told me you wouldn''t want to be found. If I had let them get to me, we wouldn''t be here now. What matters is that we know what''s best for us and the people who matter will be on our side."

    ¡°Fine, I concede. I¡¯ll just be grateful for the people who support us and forget about the rest," I said as if I had lost an argument. But it really would be better to just let it go and focus on the people who were important to us. But it was hard to let go of everything I¡¯d been through, and living as someone that even servants would disdain had left its mark on me. I wanted people on my side. I didn¡¯t want to be despised. I didn''t want to struggle anymore.

    I spoke without thinking as a thought came to me, "Andri, when this is all over, do you think there''s a chance you could be assigned something in the big lion village we visited? Since you have friends there and your father is close by... I think it might be a good place for us."

    "That sounds good to me," Andrian agreed, before adding, "See? This is exactly what I was trying to tell you. The people who really matter have already accepted you. So who cares if some general from some tribe we''ll never have to deal with doesn''t like that you''re human?"

    When I thought about it like that, it really felt like I''d been worrying about nothing. I would have said something else, but as soon as my worries were alleviated, the day caught up to me and I felt a wave of tiredness roll over me. So, instead of responding, I let out a huge yawn.

    "I''m taking that as a sign that we should try to get some sleep," Andrian observed after I was done yawning. I nodded and tried to snuggle even deeper into his embrace. He kissed my forehead tenderly and whispered, "Good night."

    Feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder, I drifted off to sleep.

 Chapter Thirty Eight

    The next morning we left the inn and began navigating our way to the city center where the rest of our original party would be waiting. After my conversation with Andrian the night before, I felt a lot better about our impending arrival. Thus far, I¡¯d been floating back and forth between telling myself it was okay if they hated me because I was used to being despised anyway, and wanting to be accepted and liked. Now I knew that it really could be okay if they hated me, not because I was used to it but because the people who mattered accepted me. Andrian¡¯s dad and his friends, and the people we traveled with as well, they had all welcomed me and supported me regardless of the fact that I was human and my father¡¯s son.

    As we moved through the city, I got to see many sights that I had never seen in Vrayna, such as clothing stores that anyone could shop at. Tailors and dress shops were commonly used by the Vraynian nobility, but in the trading city, I found stores filled with practical garments that didn¡¯t require custom fitting. I couldn''t have imagined commoner''s clothing being sold in a proper store before, because it was something that simply wasn''t done, but now that I had seen it, it seemed so practical.

    There were many other stores like this one, that sold almost anything one could ever need, produced in high volume and sold at prices everyone could afford. One could trade, barter, or use marked bronze coins to pay for what they wanted. I still had no idea how the Beastland currency worked, but I had a basic understanding of the denominations. The coins all had different markings on them and came in at least four different sizes. More markings and larger sizes indicated higher value, but that was all I¡¯d figured out thus far.

    The city also had no slums that I could see. Since we¡¯d first entered the city, I hadn¡¯t seen a single person who looked like they were starving and everyone seemed to have their basic needs covered. The Beastlands had strict rules that required everyone to have some sort of job or role to perform. Many joined the army to protect the incredibly long border they shared with the wildlands, others opened stores to sell their wares or skills, and some took on roles that served the community in some way. As long as you did your part, the community would provide for you. There were always common pots full of porridge or stew available to those whose contributions didn¡¯t make money, and free rooms equipped with a mattress and blanket so no one went without a roof over their head. That''s what I was told when I asked my companions why I hadn''t seen any slums. In short, there were none. Even the poorest beastmen had their basic needs taken care of.

    I was assured that there were sections of the city that housed luxury items as well, but the Beastland definition of luxury was probably far different from what I was used to as well. Not that I had any interest in luxury items, regardless. After years of being drowned in opulent misery, I was much happier to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, like a night of drinking with friends by a river, or time spent with the person I loved.

    In the late afternoon, we arrived at the city center. Like the rest of the city, it was beyond my expectations. There was no gate, no guards, and nothing formal to mark the location, but you couldn¡¯t mistake the collection of giant buildings for anything else. Even as a foreigner, I knew we¡¯d arrived in the city center without being told. The regular shops and residences were behind us, as were the cafes, inns, and clothing stores. Before us was a wide open space with six buildings centered around an enormous sandstone dome, as large as the Golden Palace yet simple in design.

    ¡°The dome in the center is where all important council meetings and all other major events are held,¡± Luxania explained to me as I took in the sights, ¡°the buildings surrounding it are where all major governing and planning take place. The first building there is the infrastructure development building. They¡¯re responsible for building and rebuilding the cities in the western half of the Beastlands, and our portion of the great road. The next one is laws and justice, and then the western division¡¯s social welfare office, which is in charge of food distribution among many other things. That one is the army¡¯s main branch, the trade and commerce building, and finally the shaman headquarters.¡±

    The six buildings were constructed in an open space, which was filled with bushes, benches, and walkways, creating a comfortable environment for the myriad of beastmen who worked there. This was where the entire western half of the Beastlands was run.

    ¡°If I understand correctly, we¡¯ll be having our joining ceremony in the dome,¡± Andrian informed me, ¡°but I¡¯m really not sure of the details beyond that.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t surprised at all by that. The original ceremony was supposed to be between Rastari and my sister, after all, not between Andrian and I. Andrian would''ve had no reason to know about the plans for the ceremony beforehand, and we¡¯d been separated from the main group since right after we left Vrayna. Before we could proceed, I heard a familiar voice calling out to us.

    ¡°There you are!¡± Rastari boomed as he walked towards us from the direction of the large domed building we were looking at. ¡°We thought you¡¯d gotten lost on the way since it took you so long to arrive.¡±

    ¡°Ras!¡± Shidah called back to him, ¡°Good to see you, my friend. Apologies that it took us so long to get here. It was an eventful trip to say the least.¡±

    ¡°Eventful trip, my ass. You guys just wanted to avoid doing the work!¡± Rastari laughed, ¡°We¡¯ve been here for two whole days making all the necessary adjustments, meanwhile you five have been gallivanting around, having a grand old time without me!¡±

    ¡°General Rastari,¡± Estra greeted him in a polite voice that was nothing like his usual tone, ¡°I¡¯m certain all involved parties appreciate your efforts, but I can assure you there was no gallivanting. As General Shidah stated, we had a very eventful trip that was both trying and rewarding.¡±

    It was odd to hear Estra speak so formally to someone, given how informal he was during our trip. However, I supposed it was only natural for him to be more casual with a small group he was traveling with.

    ¡°Oh, is that so?¡± Rastari asked him, his white fangs shining brightly against his sable skin as he smiled broadly and looked over to where Estra was standing with Andrian, Luxania, and I. Seeing Estra shrink back a bit from Rastari''a attention, I questioned my previous assessment of Estra¡¯s attitude towards him. Was Estra afraid of Rastari? No, that couldn''t be it, but what was with that reaction?

    Before Estra could muster up an answer, Andrian stepped forward and said, ¡°It is. We¡¯ve got some stories to tell you, for sure. Good to see you again Ras. How¡¯s the preparations going?¡±

    ¡°Better than expected,¡± Rastari answered him, ¡°No one had any objections to the switch, even before hearing any of the reason behind it. Frankly, no one cares as long as we don¡¯t have to keep up the double front anymore.¡± That said, he looked at me with a mischievous smile and asked, ¡°and how about my little human friend who so cruelly cast me aside?¡±

    Meeting his smile with my own, I responded, ¡°Also better than expected.¡±

    Rastari¡¯s eyes widened when I answered him. For the first time since I¡¯d met him, the gregarious beastman was at a loss for words. He certainly wouldn¡¯t have expected me to answer him, given my condition when we last parted. It was actually quite satisfying to see, having already endured quite a bit of his teasing before we parted ways.

    Luxania chose that moment to chime in with, ¡°Ah, Ras, it¡¯s lovely to see you struck silent for once. They told you it was an eventful trip, didn¡¯t they?¡±

    ¡°That they did,¡± he replied, having quickly recovered from the little shock I gave him. ¡°That''s excellent news. Come with me, I¡¯ll show you around and fill you in on what you¡¯ve missed. You¡¯ll also have to fill us all in on how my little human friend got his voice back.¡±

    Rastari gestured for us to follow him, leading us toward the giant dome.

    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    Leaving our horses outside, we followed Rastari into the dome. I had thought it was a single large building, like the Royal Palace, but once inside, I discovered that the dome was simply a cover for a small collection of separated buildings housed within. Rastari pointed them out as we passed, acting as a proper guide for those of us who had never been inside the dome before. There were two smaller sized buildings, one for large council meetings and one for celebrations and social gatherings. Otherwise, there were several larger buildings full of the people who were dedicated to running the Beastlands as a whole. I¡¯d known the Beastlands had no ruler, but now I saw firsthand how it was truly run by the people. A lot of people, actually. Those buildings looked like they housed hundreds of employees and officials.

    He led us toward the building where the council meetings were held. Rastari talked non-stop as we were walking, explaining the details of the ceremony plans to Andrian and the others. As much as I tried to listen, I found my surroundings to be far too distracting to pay proper attention. The dome itself, made of a pale colored sandstone, made it so everything inside was shaded from the desert sun. There were no adornments or anything to decorate it, but the smooth, rounded stone was beautiful enough on its own. Various beastmen rushed past us, on their way to important things, I was sure. The two smaller buildings were both made of dark granite and the one that was our destination looked like it would reflect the sun¡¯s rays if those rays ever found its surface.

    We entered through an innocuous looking double door made of redwood, which stood out against the otherwise stone backdrop of the dome. The interior opened up to a wide entryway with open closets filled with travel cloaks and luggage. We removed our cloaks and set down our bags before heading towards another wooden door that would lead us into the main room. I felt a little nervous now, realizing I was about to be introduced to the council of Beastlands, but I wouldn''t let myself falter or hesitate. Andrian gripped my hand tightly and I knew that everything would be okay. As long as he was by my side, I had no reason to fear what lay beyond the door.

    The main council room was enormous and was styled in a way that reminded me of a Vraynian theatre. We entered at the top of a wide staircase which led to a small stage at the back of the room. Extending outwards from the stairs were row after row of long tables with hundreds of beastmen sitting in simple but comfortable looking chairs. The theatres didn¡¯t have tables, but the seating arrangement was almost the same. On the small stage, there was another long table with four beastmen sitting at it and three empty chairs.

    As we walked down the large staircase, the room slowly fell silent and hundreds of eyes slowly turned in our direction. I squeezed Andrian¡¯s hand tightly and did my best to ignore them. It¡¯ll be okay, I told myself, Andrian is here with me and this isn¡¯t Vrayna. I can do this. I can be strong and not show fear. Even if I¡¯m hated, it won¡¯t affect me. I wanted that to be true. It really didn¡¯t matter how they felt about me since they wouldn¡¯t oppose our union and they needed me alive and well to end the war. However, the trauma response in the back of my mind wouldn¡¯t go away. I wasn¡¯t scared yet, but I also couldn¡¯t just relax and believe it would be alright.

    We reached the bottom of the stairs and stepped out onto the small stage at the bottom. I looked up at the rows of tables on either side of the stairs. Most of the chairs were filled with beastmen from all over the Beastlands. Somewhere along the way, Luxania and Shidah had left our group to sit with the other members of their tribes. I searched for them in the sea of faces but couldn¡¯t find them. Andrian remained glued to my side and, to my surprise, Estra was still with us as well.

    Seeing my pleasantly surprised expression, he offered me a rare smile and very quietly stated, ¡°I¡¯m not a general or council member, after all. There¡¯s no seat for me up there. I doubt I''ll be allowed to stay.¡±

    The four individuals seated on the stage got up and approached us. They had to be the marshal generals I¡¯d heard about.

    ¡°Sirs,¡± Rastari addressed them with far more deference than when he¡¯d been speaking to Prince Elantro, ¡°as promised, this is General Andrian, who you¡¯re already aware of, and this is his bonded mate, Julien de Ramport.¡±

    The four marshal generals looked in my direction with interested but sharp eyes. I felt like they were assessing me with their gaze. It was an uncomfortable feeling and their eyes vaguely reminded me of my father. Would they also find me lacking?

    One of the marshal generals stepped forward, extending a hand to me. ¡°Welcome. I¡¯m Marshal General of the West, my name is Jackson.¡±

    I took his hand and shook it, ¡°Greetings Marshal General Jackson. Thank you for welcoming me.¡±

    ¡°Just Jackson is fine,¡± he responded, watching me carefully, ¡°We don¡¯t stand on formality with non-military citizens. I was told you were a mute. I see that information was not correct?¡± He said it like a question though he clearly knew the answer.

    While I struggled with how to respond, Andrian answered for me, ¡°The information was correct when it was provided. He only recently recovered his voice, sir.¡±

    ¡°General Andrian, I presume?¡± Jackson inquired with a raised eyebrow. ¡°I heard about you. The lion general who begged his way into the delegation to find his missing human mate. You should know, I¡¯m one of the few who spoke in your favor when the decision was made. I knew your father quite well back in my fighting days. I trusted his judgement in this. It appears I wasn''t wrong to do so.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, sir,¡± Andrian replied, ¡°Your support means a lot. From what I¡¯ve heard, it was the deciding factor is my being included.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve all been given the basics of your history and what happened in Humanla¨C sorry, Vrayna,¡± he said, correcting himself with an apologetic glance in my direction.

    ¡°Um,¡± I interjected cautiously, ¡°since you¡¯re someone who spoke on Andrian¡¯s behalf, I feel I should also be offering my gratitude. Thank you.¡± I bowed in the Vraynian style, lowering myself before him. ¡°And, uh, I won¡¯t take offense if you just call it Humanland. We''re all human there, so the name isn''t wrong.¡±

    One of the other marshal generals burst out laughing at my words and said, ¡°Julien de Ramport, you¡¯re not what I expected at all. I¡¯m Barryl, Marshal General of the North. Your royal folk made quite the fuss about us calling your homeland by its ¡®proper¡¯ name before this. I''m glad to see you''re a bit more flexible.¡±

    I assured him that I truly didn¡¯t care about such things and he smiled at me with surprising warmth. I was introduced to the other two marshal generals, Zeke and Dray, but neither of them had any warmth to offer me. They watched me with guarded expressions that bordered on hostility but shook my hand and greeted me regardless. It was as Andrian said; they might not like me, but we shared the same goal, albeit for different reasons.

    ¡°What¡¯s with the owl?¡± the one named Zeke, Marshal General of the East, asked as soon as we were done with our introductions. Estra had remained silent up until that point and shrank back a little at being addressed by Zeke. It seemed that this was just his natural reaction to being the center of attention, as that was the same as how he''d responded to Rastari. I¡¯d been travelling with Estra for multiple weeks but I was still trying to figure out how he worked.

    ¡°He¡¯s an apprentice to the Great Owl Shaman and was traveling with these two to assist with Falyn¡¯s recovery,¡± Rastari quickly explained, drawing their attention away from Estra. ¡°As I told you, the boy was traumatized and mute when we found him. Estra has been acting as his personal shaman since we left the human palace, and I dare say he¡¯s done a fair job of it, considering the boy can speak again.¡±

    ¡°Either way, his place is not here,¡± Zeke stated, leaving no room for argument.

    Estra showed himself out and the Beastland council meeting began. The three extra seats at the table on the stage were for Rastari, Andrian and myself. We sat down and the discussion began. There was no order or agenda to follow, just a discussion where all were welcome to share their thoughts. The first part was about the joining ceremony, to which there were some major, yet minor, changes being made. The joining ceremony was sacred to the beastmen and an altered ceremony had been planned to accommodate an arranged couple that had no desire to join their spirits. As I understood it, it would have been similar to a human wedding in nature, with focus on the legal union rather than the participants. Now, a traditional joining ceremony would take place, one that would truly bind Andrian and me for life. Still ignorant of Beastland practices, I didn¡¯t fully comprehend what the difference was, but I was grateful for the change nonetheless.

    Andrian was also able to bring up his request for reassignment, which was granted without any objections. Some minor changes would be made and another general transferred elsewhere, making room for Andrian to take charge of the guards of the lion village. The general in question was in attendance and his feelings on the matter were taken into consideration. I was amazed at the speed and practicality of the Beastland council. In Vrayna, the nobles would argue for days over the minor details, each wanting to ensure their authority and power wasn''t compromised.

    With the details of the wedding and our living arrangements decided, I thought that would bring an end to the council meeting. However, once the joining ceremony was settled and the aftermath resolved, Marshal General Jackson once again fixed his eyes on me.

    ¡°Now that we¡¯ve gotten all that out of the way, let¡¯s move onto the main point of discussion. Julien de Ramport, you claim to be witness to the murder of the first victim that started the war. Now, before the eyes of the entire Beastland council, tell us your story.¡±

 Chapter Thirty Nine

    ¡°You¡¯ve got to be kidding me!¡± Andrian exclaimed, slamming his hand down on the table. ¡°Do you seriously think he¡¯s in a condition to tell his life story to a room full of strangers?! Marshal Generals, with all due respect, I have to object to this.¡±

    ¡°General Andrian, he might not be in the condition, but he¡¯s certainly in the position where it is necessary,¡± Dray, Marshal General of the South, answered in a cool voice. ¡°His mental condition is not the concern of the council, his official testimony is.¡±

    ¡°I believe I have already provided a detailed account of what he knows, so there should be no reason for him to speak before the council. Was my report insufficient?¡± Rastari inquired with a raised eyebrow.

    ¡°Not at all, but the circumstances have changed. No matter how good of a report you¡¯ve given, it is guaranteed that there will be missing information. What you know was told to you by a human with unknown motives regarding what she saw in someone else¡¯s memories. There will obviously be missing information that we can get from him,¡± Dray responded in a dry voice.

    ¡°The issue isn¡¯t the request, the issue is the time and place!¡± Andrian said through clenched teeth. ¡°If you want to talk to him, you can do it in private. Better yet, you can talk to me in private. Falyn¡¯s told me enough that I can fill you in sufficiently on anything Rastari wasn¡¯t privy to.¡±

    As I listened to them argue, I wondered if I should just agree to what they wanted. It didn¡¯t seem worth it to upset Andrian¡¯s superiors just for my sake. I was terrified by the idea of speaking about that in front of an entire council like this. I was shaking just from thinking about it. But how would they punish us if we refused?

    ¡°We certainly can¡¯t accept the testimony from you. You should know better than to suggest that,¡± Barryl scolded Andrian before adding, ¡°but I don¡¯t don''t think it should be a problem to make this a private discussion. Considering General Rastari''s report, that part of your request is reasonable enough.¡±

    ¡°But this is still the time for it though,¡± Zeke interjected before Andrian could respond, ¡°I¡¯ll agree to reducing the audience to the four of us, but this happens now. The joining ceremony is two days away, so there is no time to delay this.¡±

    ¡°Agreed,¡± Dray conceded, ¡°We can talk in private, but we do it now.¡±

    Barryl and Jackson both agreed to those terms and immediately adjourned the council meeting. It was clear that this was as far as they were willing to bend on the matter, but I was relieved nonetheless. It was a better outcome than I''d previously imagined. I was led out of the large council room and back toward the entrance of the building. However, instead of leaving out the front door, we went through another door off to the side that I hadn¡¯t even noticed when we arrived.

    Inside was a simple room with a table and eight chairs around it, and not much else. Both Andrian and Rastari accompanied me into the room with the four marshal generals. It was no surprise to anyone that Andrian had come with me but I hadn¡¯t expected Rastari to come as well. It was a pleasant surprise, although I wasn¡¯t sure what his motives were for joining us. In any case, I felt like it was a good thing that he¡¯d come along.

    We sat down around the table and the marshal generals looked at me expectantly. I, on the other hand, had no idea what I was supposed to say and was full of anxious energy that made me nervous and uncomfortable. There was no way around it. I was going to have to do this.

    After we¡¯d sat in an awkward silence for a moment, they seemed to realize that I wasn¡¯t going to start talking on my own. Jackson broke the silence, ¡°Start at the beginning. You¡¯re the son of a duke from the south, but you grew up on the eastern border?¡±

    I took a deep breath before answering, ¡°Yes, I did.¡± My hands, which were clenched into fists in my lap, were turning white from the tension I¡¯d put into them. I stared at them intently as I answered and felt a familiar hand caress my shoulders. Andrian was here with me. I wasn¡¯t alone. I¡¯d already told him everything. Maybe if I pretended I was talking to just him, it would be a little easier to do this.

    ¡°Why?¡± Jackson¡¯s simple question shattered my delusion immediately. There was no pretending it was just me and Andrian here. ¡°Please explain how that came to be.¡±

    ¡°My mother was his maid. She ran away when she found out she was pregnant and went back to her hometown.¡± My voice sounded robotic, even to me. I tried my best not to feel anything as I spoke.

    Dray immediately followed up by asking, ¡°So she was his lover?¡±

    ¡°No, she was his victim,¡± I responded bluntly.

    ¡°Is this even relevant?¡± Andrian interjected, ¡°Just get to the point.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re just trying to understand how the son of a man who is well known for his hatred of our kind ended up living next to the borderland. It¡¯s very interesting that the son of such a man was frequently entering the Beastlands as a child. It¡¯s also interesting that the same boy suddenly disappeared when the first murder occurred, only to reappear at such a convenient time.¡± Zeke spoke to Andrian but I could feel that his eyes were fixated on me. Ah, now I understood what this was all about.

    ¡°Just what are you implying?¡± Andrian asked with a frosty voice. I released my tightly clenched fist so I could reach out and place my hand on his knee.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay Andri,¡± I said in a quiet voice, ¡°what he¡¯s implying is reasonable.¡± I took a deep breath before continuing, ¡°My father¡¯s wife had a daughter and never got pregnant again. He wanted a male heir and used my mother to get one. She was unwilling through the whole process. When she found out she was pregnant, she escaped and ran away. That¡¯s all there is to it. As for crossing the borderland as a child, the first time was an accident, and after that, I was just a kid who wanted to visit his friend.¡±

    ¡°And then you stopped visiting because of what happened to your mother?¡± Dray inquired.

    ¡°Essentially yes,¡± I replied, ¡°It took fourteen years, but my father found me and my mother. He sent his men after us. They were to bring me back and murder my mother. Their orders were to make her death as brutal as possible and to leave her body in a place where animals could find it.¡±

    ¡°And the details from here are what was in my report,¡± Rastari suddenly interjected before anyone could ask me to tell them more. ¡°Marshal Generals, I don¡¯t want to impede your investigation in any way, but I don¡¯t want to see the kid break down again either. He¡¯s here of his own accord, offering to condemn his own father, so why are you interrogating him like this? When the time comes, he will speak for us. I have no doubt about that, so maybe we can conclude this here.¡±

    All four of the marshal generals seemed to consider his words. I was truly surprised that Rastari had that kind of faith in me. I looked up from my lap for the first time and met his eyes from across the table. Somehow the sight of his knowing smile from across the table was incredibly reassuring.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what he''s done to convince you of this, but I¡¯ll trust your judgement. To a degree, at least. I¡¯m willing to move on, but only past the events you were able to report on. There¡¯s still more we need to ask him,¡± Jackson stated the last part firmly. I didn¡¯t mind though. I could answer their questions more easily, if I didn¡¯t have to talk about that.

    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    ¡°Agreed,¡± Berryl added, ¡°we can skip over the details of his trauma, but there are things we need to understand. First off, why did your father send you instead of your sister? What was his scheme?¡±

    ¡°My father considers me to be a great disappointment, and he never actually intended for me to be his proper heir. He always claimed that was his intent, but he really only intended for me to be a puppet so my sister could inherit everything while still obeying the Vraynian succession laws. I was a pawn that wasn¡¯t even useful to him, so he threw me away.¡± I lifted my head and met their gazes as I spoke. I realized that what I was feeling was something akin to anger. They knew what I¡¯d been through well enough to understand my motives, yet they still felt the need to interrogate me. ¡°I understand that being my father¡¯s son is reason enough on its own for you to be suspicious of me, but I can assure you that I hate him the most out of anyone here.¡±

    I was amazed at the words that poured out of my mouth. It was the truth, but it felt strange to say it out loud. What was that feeling again? Right, it was anger. I was a little bit angry at the marshal generals for their complete disregard for me. But that was a tiny drop in the sea of rage I felt towards my father, his men, and everyone else who had done nothing but contribute to my pain.

    ¡°I doubt that there¡¯s anything I can say to make you trust my intentions, so I¡¯m not going to bother,¡± I continued, growing more confident as I spoke. ¡°Instead of trying to convince you, I¡¯m going to make a request of you instead. Two requests, actually. The first is for you to give me time. I¡¯m not strong enough to talk about these things casually, even if it''s only in front of a small group. You¡¯re asking me to talk about the memories that will haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life, and I really don¡¯t feel ready to tell that story to complete strangers. However, when we go back to Vrayna for the human wedding ceremony, I promise you I¡¯ll be ready to talk. And as for the second request¡­ Justice will be served by the Beastlands, yes?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t even think about asking us to spare his life!¡± Zeke growled as his answer.

    ¡°I have no intention of doing so. Quite the opposite, actually,¡± I quickly replied before he could misunderstand me any further, ¡°I... I want to see it with my own two eyes, the end of the man who stole my life from me.¡±

    Zeke stared at me for a moment before smiling at me for the first time. It wasn¡¯t a particularly nice smile, in fact, it was quite scary, but it was genuine. With that dangerous smile still on his face, he said, ¡°If that¡¯s all you want, I think we can work something out.¡±

    After that, they were done interrogating me, which meant there was no reason for us to stay. I was glad to be done with it and free to leave that uncomfortable room. My request to witness my father¡¯s execution seemed to have endeared me to them but that wasn¡¯t the purpose of my request. There was a part of me that needed to see it. I felt that if I didn¡¯t, I¡¯d never truly believe I was free. I might regret making such a request when the time came, but I felt like seeing it was the only way for me to move on.

    As we exited the council building, I quietly said to Andrian, ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I suppose what I said in there must have been unexpected. I probably sounded like a horrible person to you. I hope you aren¡¯t disappointed in me.¡±

    It took more courage than I¡¯d thought to say those words. A disappointment. The thing I was terrified I¡¯d become to him. I didn''t think he held any sympathy for my father, but would he be disgusted that I wanted to see that? Much to my relief, his answer was to ask me in a surprised tone, ¡°Why would I be disappointed?¡±

    ¡°Because I¡¯m the type of person who would want to see his own father¡¯s execution. I don¡¯t want you to think less of me but I¡¯d be lying if I said that wasn¡¯t something I desire.¡± I stopped walking for a moment, and under the giant dome with Beastland officials bustling about around us, I looked at the man I loved, terrified of the rejection I might see on his face. "I feel like I need to see it to believe it."

    "It''s okay for you to feel that way," he told me in a soothing voice, "I don''t think any less of you for hating a man who hurt you so much. I''m more concerned about how you feel right now." He wrapped both arms around me, one around my waist and one over my shoulder, pulling me into a tight embrace. "I''m sorry I couldn''t protect you from that."

    As I laid my head on his shoulder, it felt like the entire world around us disappeared. My eyes stung with unshed tears but I resisted the instinct to set them free. ¡°Andri, I don¡¯t deserve you.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s what I¡¯m supposed to say,¡± he laughed softly, ¡°If I had my way, I¡¯d tear him limb from limb for what he did to you. The way you feel, it¡¯s only natural. Don¡¯t think less of yourself now that you¡¯ve found the strength to be angry at him. Embrace it. Use that feeling to grow stronger, not to make yourself feel bad. No matter what it is, I¡¯m on your side.¡±

    We stood in the middle of the crowded dome and held each other for a moment, until I heard Rastari¡¯s voice interrupt us, ¡°You two about done over there? I was going to ask you to join a few of us for dinner, but instead I have to watch the man who rejected me with his new lover?¡±

    Despite his teasing, I couldn¡¯t help but smile. ¡°Rastari,¡± I said, ¡°thank you for helping me in there.¡±

    ¡°What can I say,¡± Rastari replied, ¡°I guess I''ve grown fond of you or something. I couldn''t just leave you two to fend for yourselves with those guys. Now come along, there¡¯s a group of us going to a nearby tavern for a meal and you two have to come be our guests of honor. No marshal generals, I promise.¡±

    I looked to Andrian to see how he felt about it. At my inquiring gaze, he nodded, so I answered, ¡°I¡¯d like that.¡±

    We exited the dome and backtracked a bit until we were back in a regular part of the city again. The tavern we went to was similar to the one I¡¯d seen in the lion village, complete with a private rooms for us to have our meal in. When we arrived, Shidah and Luxania were waiting, as well as Coraggio and the snake general Garwal, whom I¡¯d met on my journey to the Beastlands, were waiting. Eventually we were joined by Estra and an owl general by the name of Illian, who seemed excited to meet me after hearing about me from Estra.

    It was a simple dinner with good food, even better alcohol, and pleasant company. No one brought up my past, the events of the afternoon, or anything else that might have ruined the mood. After such a long and stressful day, it was a bit of peace that I hadn¡¯t realized I needed. Again, I thought about Andrian¡¯s words from the night before. ¡°The people who matter will be on our side.¡± I looked around the table and felt a warm affection for the people who sat with us. All of them were here to show us their support and celebrate our joining, completely separate from the politics of the treaty. Even General Illian, who I was meeting for the first time, was here for those reasons. We ate until we could eat no more and the alcohol flowed freely late into the night.

    In the time since I¡¯d entered the Beastlands and began learning about my new home, I¡¯d realized a couple things. The first was that generals in the Beastlands were nothing like the generals of the Vraynian army. Our authority structure was different and the marshal generals were far closer to the human definition of a war general. I wondered if Prince Elantro knew this. I doubted he did. They probably would¡¯ve had to keep the information hidden if it had been my sister who came, as she wouldn¡¯t have kept quiet about being married to someone of a lower status.  I, on the other hand, was relieved to learn that the generals I knew were simply higher ranking officers. It was far more comfortable that way.

    The second thing I''d learned was that almost all of the beastmen I¡¯d met had an incredible capacity for alcohol. Wine, mead, beer, cider, and other stronger spirits flowed freely and I had no hope of keeping up with them. I tried to meet their pace, but I was only able to handle a few sips for every full glass the people around me drank. By the end of the night, I wasn¡¯t sure I¡¯d be able to get up from our table, while nearly everyone else seemed just fine. However, Estra and Illian seemed to be struggling as much as I was, which made me wonder if it was simply a matter of exposure, as bird beastmen were known to abstain from alcohol due to how it affected their ability to fly.

    When the night was over, the others almost had to carry the three of us out of the tavern. In my drunken haze, it seemed perfectly reasonable to just let Andrian carry me in his arms, so I didn¡¯t insist on trying to walk of my own accord. He was warm and comfortable, so it seemed wise to let him do all the work while listening to the sound of his heart beating against my flushed cheeks. My head was swimming pleasantly and everything faded into the background. I heard the occasional burst of words, like ¡°place to stay,¡± and ¡°inn over there,¡± as I closed my eyes. After almost being lulled to sleep by the steady rhythm of Andrian¡¯s steps, I felt the temperature around me change and realized we were inside a building. I heard a new voice and blinked my eyes open long enough to realize we were in the lobby of an inn before closing them again.

    We were soon moving again and I recognized the feeling of being carried up a flight of stairs followed by the sound of a door opening. I was placed on top of some cool sheets that felt soothing against my hot face. I felt Andrian pulling off my shoes and a blanket being placed on top of me. I could feel the room spinning around me even though my eyes were closed. It was a little uncomfortable but I didn¡¯t feel like I could move enough to do anything about it. Before the blackness took me, I thought that maybe I should stop trying to keep up when drinking.

 Chapter Forty

    I had the opportunity to again regret my attempts to keep up with the beastmen¡¯s drinking when I awoke the next morning. It was an awful pounding sound that roused me from my slumber, each bang setting off fireworks of pain in my brain. Bang! Bang! Bang! I attempted to open my eyes and find the source of the noise, but the bright sunlight coming through the window made it so I could only squint. The room was a yellow washed haze and the pounding in my head matched the pounding in my ears.

    ¡°Rise and shine, lover boys,¡± I heard Rastari say from what I assumed was the other side of the door to our room. Bang! Bang! Bang! Ah, that infernal banging was Rastari knocking at our door. How was he so chipper first thing in the morning when I was so desperate to go back to sleep? It didn¡¯t seem fair when he¡¯d drank three glasses for every one I finished.

    I felt Andrian get up from beside me and go to open the door. I sat up and immediately regretted it as my stomach started churning and I felt like my head might split open. As I sat on the bed reeling, Andrian opened the door and said, ¡°What do you want?¡±

    ¡°Did you think you guys would get to sleep in while we do all the work?¡± Rastari asked with a laugh in his voice, ¡°You¡¯ve got robe fittings, an appointment with the jeweler to choose your pendants, a father who just arrived, and Estra wants to take Falyn to meet some people at the shaman shop. You can sleep after you''re joined. Right now, you¡¯ve got things to do and no time to delay.¡±

    Listening to their voices began to bring me out of my haze. That was right, we had to finish preparing for the joining ceremony. I¡¯d had enough explained to me though our travels that I knew what to expect for the ceremony. We would wear matching robes throughout the ceremony, and exchange pendants, chosen by the other, that we would wear around our necks to symbolize our union.

    ¡°Give us a few moments, so Falyn can wake up,¡± Adrian replied, ¡°I doubt he¡¯ll be feeling well after last night so we might need a bit to get going.¡±

    ¡°I planned for that,¡± Rastari announced proudly, ¡°Give him this and he¡¯ll be right as rain in no time. I¡¯ll meet you for breakfast downstairs in a quarter of a movement.¡±

    I heard Andrian close the door. I fully opened my eyes for the first time and saw him holding out a potion that looked similar to the one Estra had fed me after our night out in the lion village. I winced in advance at the taste but swallowed it down quickly. The bitter aftertaste lingered after I was done swallowing, even after drinking some water to wash it down.

    Even if it was bitter, the potion worked almost immediately and we hastily dressed and descended the stairs to the inn''s restaurant, which was already packed with beastmen. I wore my traveling cloak into the restaurant, keeping the hood up to avoid attracting too much attention. Rastari, who stood out so much among the Vraynian population, blended in seamlessly amidst the patrons of the trading city''s inn. Eventually, I found him by looking for Shidah, who had come to join us for breakfast. Even here, his size was unusual and he was easy to spot at their table by the wall, which still had two empty chairs at it.

    We joined them just in time for breakfast to be served. Set on the table were four plates stacked high with flatbread that had been dipped in eggs and fried. The stacks were dusted with powdered sugar and served with fruit syrup and a heavy, sweet cream. My stomach, which had been churning wildly not long before, was now grumbling at me to dive in.

    I ate ravenously, clearing my plate with record speed, and I felt my strength return to me. We left as soon as everyone else had finished their meals and went out to the already busy street. Shidah bade us farewell and left in the direction of the city center, while Rastari led us back into the maze of streets and shops.

    Our first stop was a clothing store that specialized in robes for all occasions. In the Beastlands, robes were worn for festivals, by many shamans, and for celebrations such as a joining ceremony. Andrian and I had to choose matching robes for the ceremony, which differed greatly from the Vryanian tradition of a fine, white gown for the bride and white doublet for the groom.

    The robe store was close to the inn and was marked with a wooden sign with what looked like a dress etched on it. Upon entering the store, I saw robes of every variety hanging on racks, on the walls, and in some parts of the store, hanging from the ceiling. Some were plain, some were brightly colored, and some were patterned. I''d never seen such a selection of robes before. As I looked around the store and wondered how I would possibly choose just one, the female beastman at the counter greeted us.

    ¡°Do you have an appointment?¡± she asked, ¡°If you don¡¯t, I can help you choose from ready made sizes or schedule you an appointment for tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°Alyshia is expecting me,¡± Rastari informed her, ¡°You can tell her Rastari is here.¡±

    The girl behind the counter¡¯s eyes widened and she quickly checked our faces. The triangular ears on top of her head twitched slightly as she focused her gaze on me.

    ¡°Is this the human?¡± she asked with interest, ¡°I¡¯ve never seen one before. Take off your hood human, I''m dying to see what you look like under there.¡±

    Judging her to be genuinely curious, if a bit rude, I complied with her demand and pulled down the hood I was wearing over my head. She studied me for a moment before suddenly jumping over the counter and running towards me. I flinched back a little but that didn¡¯t stop her from stopping right in front of me and grabbing my face with both hands.

    ¡°You really do look like us without beast traits,¡± she murmured as she held my face in place to study me. Her hands shifted slightly to feel my ears, tracing her fingers along the top then pulling on my lobes. ¡°They feel weird. I¡¯ve never seen ears like these before.¡±

    ¡°Are you about done?¡± Andrian asked her with a dry voice. He hadn¡¯t intervened when she grabbed me, but it sounded like he¡¯d had enough of her touching me. ¡°We¡¯re here to see Alyshia about robes, not for you to fondle his ears.¡±

    ¡°Did I hear my name?¡± A low female voice inquired. The hands holding my face immediately fell away, freeing my head to look in the direction of the voice. A tall and extremely thin woman stood at the counter now, wearing an exquisite turquoise robe. Her skin, almost as dark as Rastari¡¯s, was covered in scales, and her black hair hung straight at her waist.

    ¡°These people are here for an appointment,¡± the girl answered, looking somewhat embarrassed, ¡°I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t come get you right away, but I got distracted by the human.¡±

    ¡°As the young man said, these people are my clients,¡± Alyshia told her in a cold voice, ¡°they aren¡¯t here for your amusement.¡± The atmosphere was chilly for a moment before Alyshia smiled brightly and added, ¡°They¡¯re here to line my pockets, after all. Ras, my dear, I hope you know how delighted I am that you brought these two here. A public joining featuring my robes will give this store some much needed exposure.¡±

    ¡°Happy to help an old friend jump start her business,¡± Rastari replied with a smile, ¡°This is Andrian and Falyn. Make ¡®em look really pretty or something.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t imagine that will be all that difficult,¡± she said as she looked us over, ¡°They match well. Golden red and dark auburn¡­ We should start with a base color that is somewhere in between, but muted so it looks coordinated, not overstated.¡±

    From there Alyshia started showing us robes, all in various shades of red and orange, before deciding on a subtle, rusty shade that complimented both of our hair colors. We were lucky enough to find robes that fit us straight off the rack, with only minor detailing required. My robe would be detailed in amber, and Andrian¡¯s in green, so our robes would be matched to the other¡¯s eyes. I thought it was a wonderful idea and expressed as much when asked. We agreed to the minor alterations and additions before she quoted us a sum that didn¡¯t mean much to me. I could only assume it was an appropriate price since neither Rastari nor Andrian blinked at the price tag.

    From there, it was time to go to the jeweler, but with plenty of time for sightseeing along the way. As we walked, I learned that, since Rastari was supposed to be attending these appointments anyway, he had been appointed to be our guide through the city and help get us prepared. I was grateful to have him there. We probably could have found our way on our own just fine, but it was nice to have a guide to show us around.

    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

    When we left the robe maker¡¯s store, I¡¯d moved to put my hood back up, but both Rastari and Andrian insisted it wasn¡¯t necessary. Not only were the people of the city prepared to see a human amongst them, due to the public nature of our joining, but they assured me that no one would cause trouble with the two of them as my escort. After we¡¯d traveled a few city blocks, it was clear that they were right. I¡¯d been overly cautious, it seemed.

    We arrived at the jeweler, which was nothing like what I thought a jeweler¡¯s store would be. What I thought of as jewelry, gold and platinum covered with shiny sculpted diamonds and gems, was nowhere to be found. The jewelry here looked to be either precious stones or carved pendants, beautiful in their own right, without all the flashiness.

    The store owner was waiting for us when we arrived. He was shorter than I in stature and very round about the middle. His entire face was covered in a layer of fur and I couldn¡¯t for the life of me figure out what tribe he was from. Not that it really mattered, but I was curious because it was usually quite obvious.

    ¡°Greetings,¡± he welcomed us, ¡°you must be Generals Rastari and Andrian, and the rumored human mate. I¡¯m sorry, but I never got your name.¡±

    ¡°His name is Falyn,¡± Andrian said, ¡°and I¡¯m Andrian.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure, I¡¯m Jonah and I¡¯ll be helping you to choose the right tokens for your joining,¡± the jeweler stated, ¡°so tell me, do you have any ideas about what you¡¯d like, or shall we explore some options?¡±

    Neither Andrian nor I had any idea what we were looking for, so we asked him to show us what he thought we¡¯d like. Each pendant was unique in its own way; some were made with a single polished stone, some were carved metal, and others featured gemstones that were more akin to what I considered jewelry. Each stone had some kind of meaning behind it, and some of the metal pendants were engraved with specific blessings. Since I had to pick the one Andrian would wear, I had to make sure I chose something he¡¯d like. He usually wore no necklace or other jewelry, so I really couldn¡¯t be sure what something he¡¯d like would be. I¡¯d been told that, by tradition, we weren''t supposed to ask for each other¡¯s opinions either.

    While I was still struggling to figure out what Andrian¡¯s tastes might be, he had already decided on mine. For the pendant, he chose a simple piece of amber and the neck chain was a deep red leather entwined with golden thread. It was not what I would have expected him to choose for me, in fact it was something akin to what I might have chosen for him.

    Seeing my puzzled face, he explained, ¡°I got the idea from Alyshia, actually. Remember what she said about matching our robes to each other, rather than ourselves, to show our symbolic ownership? Well, this pendant will be my claim on you, so wherever you go, it''ll be obvious that you¡¯re mine. Amber also represents healing, so it¡¯s apt in many ways.¡±

    ¡°Hmm, well, maybe I should consider the same,¡± I pondered, feeling quite happy with his reasoning, ¡°I like the idea of publicly claiming you as mine.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m yours whether you claim me or not,¡± Andrian responded, hugging me from behind and nuzzling his face into my neck.

    The jeweler named Jonah looked like he was pleased with our exchange and hurried to find stones with a green hue for me to look at. I ended up choosing a stone of pure jadeite, which had a lustrous green color almost identical to my eyes. I was told that jadeite symbolized love, purity, and protection. Along with a necklace made of a lighter colored leather and matching gold thread, I had finished my selection.

    We arranged for payment and delivery of our pendants to the wedding site first thing the next morning. The payment was again settled by Rastari and Andrian, and was significantly more than the robes.

    As we were about the leave, the jeweler looked the two of us over and gave us a knowing smile. He said, ¡°I¡¯ve been doing this for many years and I¡¯ve helped a lot of couples choose their joining pendants. I wasn¡¯t looking forward to this appointment at first, I have to admit. I really had no idea what to expect from an interspecies arranged joining, and I was rather uncomfortable with the idea of being involved. But I can always tell which couples will be happy together and I''m certain you two will be very happy, regardless of the circumstances that brought you here. Please accept my heartfelt congratulations on your joining.¡±

    Jonah bowed to us politely and we said our goodbyes. After that, we went back to the inn and parted ways. Andrian was going to meet his father and help get him settled, and I was to go with Estra to the place Rastari had called the shaman shop, the shaman headquarters just outside the large dome. I was a little nervous because it would be the first time since I left Vrayna that I would go anywhere without Andrian by my side. But independence was also a good thing for me to experience, so I kept my nerves to myself.

    We dropped Andrian off at the inn to meet with his father and Rastari walked me back to the city center, where Estra would be waiting for me.

    ¡°So little human,¡± Rastari asked me as we walked, ¡°what do you think of the Beastlands so far?¡±

    ¡°The land itself is amazing. It¡¯s beyond anything I could have imagined,¡± I answered after considering it for a moment, ¡°the people seem happy and the nation is well run. It¡¯s been an eye opening experience, seeing how things can be done differently. I find myself questioning everything about my homeland, where the powerful few rule over the powerless many.¡±

    ¡°''The many'' aren¡¯t as powerless as you might think. They just don¡¯t know they have power because they believed what ''the few'' told them. Now, I hold no ill will toward Elantro, but I¡¯d love to see what would happen if the people realized that noble status only means something if you acknowledge it. Your common people could rise up and take back their power quite easily,¡± Rastari said in a casual tone that didn¡¯t match the weight of his words, ¡°or maybe Elantro will earn the position he was handed for being born, and make the necessary changes without an uprising. But I doubt that will happen while his brother is still in the picture.¡±

    ¡°Birthrights, inherited power, and the corruption behind it. Not only would I not be here right now, I probably wouldn¡¯t have been born, had my father not wanted a male heir. I don¡¯t know if you know this, but women aren¡¯t allowed to inherit, hold titles separate from their husband, or fight in battle. That''s why he destroyed my mother''s life. He needed a boy and she didn''t matter. I thought that was just how things were. Hereditary titles, male dominated society, people living miserably every day.¡± I stopped walking for a moment. ¡°When I think about it, from my birth until now, everything I¡¯ve suffered was because I was born a noble but my mother was not.¡±

    ¡°So if everything you¡¯ve suffered is because of that, what are you going to do about it?¡± he inquired, ¡°You¡¯ve agreed to help the Beastlands by exposing your father, but what happens next? Like it or not, you¡¯re still Julien, Marquis of Ramport, to those people.¡±

    ¡°What happens next? I have no idea, to be honest. But Julien de Ramport isn¡¯t me. He¡¯s a part of me, but¡­ I don¡¯t think I can explain it to you, because I don''t fully understand it myself.¡±

    ¡°You misunderstand. I don¡¯t mean your personal identity, I mean your identity to the people of your nation. It might not feel like it to you, but you are one of the powerful few you spoke of. Have you never considered that you might have the power to initiate change and make a difference in the lives of the people who are suffering?¡±

    His question stumped me for a moment. Didn¡¯t he see how truly powerless I was? I might have been born a noble, but I was a bastard who knew nothing of politics and power struggles. Finally, I admitted, ¡°I don¡¯t see it that way. I may be powerful by the standards of commoners, but I am at the bottom of the ladder of nobility.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s exactly my point,¡± Rastari said with a glint in his eye, ¡°I¡¯m not saying you should try to convince the nobles to give up their power, that would be a fool''s errand, but wouldn¡¯t those powerless commoners listen to your words? You¡¯re a man of noble birth after all. If a man of your status were to help them see that they¡¯ve been wronged, it might be the spark they need to start a fire.¡±

    ¡°You want me to incite a rebellion against the Royal Family and the nobility?¡± I asked him incredulously, ¡°Are you actually serious?¡±

    ¡°Of course I am,¡± he answered without hesitation, ¡°Once your father is out of the way, there¡¯s no reason why you couldn¡¯t. It could benefit both your people and the Beastlands if something like that were to occur.¡±

    ¡°I understand what you''re saying, but the First Prince was chosen to rule by the Gods. The nobles might be just people with money and power, but the Royal Family are a family that was blessed so they could protect our land,¡± I explained, hoping he would understand the difference.

    To my surprise, Rastari burst out laughing at my defense. ¡°Is that what they taught you to believe? You¡¯ve seen through the rest of the bullshit, but you still think that your Gods chose some human family to protect a land they could just protect themselves?¡±

    ¡°But according to all of our books and lore, Prince Elantro''s golden eyes are proof,¡± I protested, ¡°It doesn''t matter if it''s the truth or propaganda. I don''t think I can do what you''re suggesting, not only because I haven''t settled my own beliefs, but because the people believe in this above all else. Even if I''m a noble, I''m not a Royal or a God. They would have no reason to listen to me.¡±

    ¡°Once your father, the Second Prince, and the real reasons behind the war are exposed, I think you would have a very good chance at convincing them. Do you know what those golden eyes look like to me? A genetic trait that was passed down through generations,¡± Rastari said confidently, ¡°and maybe a little bit of magic involved. Besides, there¡¯s no reason that Elantro couldn¡¯t retain his position. If the people did rebel, they should be willing to make peace if their demands were met. All he''d have to do is treat the commoners fairly. But you don''t have to do or decide anything right now. Just think about it, okay? If you decide to just go back to the Beastlands with Andrian after the human ceremony is over, no one will fault you. But consider the possibilities and the changes you could help make.¡±

    I felt a little like I''d been backed into a corner. Not knowing what else to do, I nodded. There was no harm in considering.

 Chapter Forty One

    After that, it wasn''t long before we reached the city center and found Estra waiting for me in front of the shaman''s headquarters. I was relieved to see him after such a heavy conversation. Estra greeted Rastari formally and quickly escorted me inside. I had noticed the night before that Estra didn''t seem to like Rastari very much. He was always formal and stiff with him and had avoided talking to him at dinner. Rastari was either oblivious or simply didn¡¯t care, so the conversation never became awkward, but I couldn''t help but notice the shift in his demeanor.

    The inside of the shaman headquarters was nothing like the rest of the city. The outside of the building was just like the rest of the trading city, appearing like it had risen from the desert sand rather than been built, but the inside somehow felt like I was back in the forest. No, was I back in the forest? When Estra opened the main doors, the space inside looked completely dark, as if someone had turned off all the lights. However, once we¡¯d passed through the threshold and the door closed behind us, I realized that we were in a short corridor, barely illuminated by an unknown light source. The floor beneath us wasn''t a floor at all, but rather a dirt pathway. As my eyes adjusted to the dim light, I noticed that the walls looked like they were made of trees, hundreds of saplings intertwined, with large leaves forming the ceiling. My mind could not comprehend such a sight while still within the confines of the desert city.

    ¡°Welcome to the shaman headquarters,¡± Estra said to me as he led me down the relatively short corridor, towards what looked like the side of an enormous tree. Estra pulled on a knothole and a section of the tree¡¯s bark opened like a door. Again, there appeared to be nothing but darkness beyond the threshold. ¡°The place you are about to enter is a place that has never been seen by human eyes. Regular beastmen are also denied access, however I¡¯ve been granted a special exception to bring you here today. There are, of course, some rules you will need to abide by. The first is that you must only go where you are explicitly given permission to go. Unless you are told otherwise, you must not stray from my side. The second is that you must do no harm to anyone or anything you come across here. The last is that you must never speak of anything of the secrets you see within, including to your mate. If you are prepared to follow those rules, we can proceed.¡±

    ¡°I am prepared to follow those rules, but how do I know what is secret and what is not?¡± I inquired, wanting to ensure I understood the rules properly.

    ¡°If you aren¡¯t sure, assume it is a secret until you can ask me,¡± Estra advised. ¡°Like as not, you won¡¯t see anything secret, as you are not yet a shaman and won¡¯t be shown anything we wouldn¡¯t want others to know. We do not hold any world shattering secrets, but we value our privacy as we develop new tools and magics to serve the Beastlands.¡±

    ¡°Understood,¡± I confirmed, ¡°but, why are they allowing me in here at all?¡±

    Estra chuckled and beckoned me to follow him. He gestured for me to go through the door, while answering, ¡°Because they, like I, are very interested in the human who can open his third eye and touch his magic. I told you before that it was quite impressive that you managed to partition your own mind, didn¡¯t I? Your potion making success also created quite a stir when I brought it up. There are quite a few who want to pick the brain of the human that managed to awaken its magic.¡±

    The way he said it made me a little nervous. If that was the case, wouldn¡¯t that mean I was about to repeat the experience I had with the marshal generals?

    I hesitated to step forward, thinking it might be better to just turn around and go back to the inn. Estra began to look impatient as I stood in place without moving, so I explained,  ¡°I thought you brought me here so I could meet potential mentors or something, but it sounds like I¡¯m here for them to interrogate me. I don¡¯t want to be interrogated again.¡±

    ¡°I can promise you won¡¯t be interrogated,¡± Estra responded with a sigh, seeming to understand the source of my concern. ¡°However, I make no promises about being asked questions. The whole point is, in fact, for you to find someone willing to be the master under whom you can apprentice. Do you really think you¡¯ll find a master that won¡¯t question your skills and motives?¡±

    ¡°I suppose not. I guess I¡¯m still feeling on edge from dealing with the marshal generals yesterday,¡± I admitted.

    ¡°It won¡¯t be like that at all,¡± Estra assured me, ¡°the shamans you¡¯ll meet won¡¯t be anything like the marshal generals. What we¡¯re concerned about is honing and expanding our craft. Here, you¡¯re a curiosity, something novel and new that can possibly answer old questions and create new ones. Those marshal generals were only interested in making sure you weren¡¯t a spy or something ridiculous like that. Now, come along, I¡¯ve gathered a very small group that are interested in talking to you but are unlikely to trouble you.¡± He repeated his gesture from earlier, and this time, I walked through the door.

    The space on the other side of the door definitely didn¡¯t look like it belonged in the middle of the desert. It was almost as if we were inside a giant tree, but there definitely couldn¡¯t be a tree of that size growing inside the building. I''d have seen it from the outside, wouldn''t I?

    The open space had a grassy floor and wild flowers grew sporadically. The walls, if you could call them walls, were made of smooth but unpolished wood and there were several corridors leading to other unseen areas.

    The room we¡¯d entered seemed to be a meeting space, but one designed for casual use. The leaves that made up the ceiling had what looked like sunlight shining through the tiny spaces between them, even though it was a two-story building and there should be more rooms above us. The glimmers of sunlight illuminated the space, making it feel like it was a temperate spring day. With ample space between them, there were various sitting areas, some with tables and chairs, others with couches, and some that were simply blankets laid upon the ground-like floor. It was a bizarre indoor-outdoor space that felt out of place in the middle of a desert city.

    ¡°Unlike the beast army, we do not stand on formality and structure here. This main area is a gathering space where we can meet to discuss our work, or simply enjoy a conversation with like-minded individuals,¡± Estra explained as I looked around at the marvelous space. ¡°If you follow the corridors, there is a formal meeting room and spaces where we can experiment with potions, treatments, and other magics.¡±

    Beastmen milled about the tables, enjoying a much more casual pace than those outside. The seating areas were well separated enough that, unless someone was speaking loudly, one could have a private conversation without anyone overhearing. Most of the seats were already taken by beastmen, some having intense, quiet conversations, others shouting and good-naturedly arguing about whatever topic was on the table.

    ¡°Ah, this way,¡± Estra said, indicating a blanket off to the side, where three people were already sitting, looking comfortable and somewhat bored. The three people on the blanket looked up at our approach and stood to greet us.

    ¡°Is this him?¡± one of the beastmen inquired as soon as we were close. He stood and extended his hand to me, ¡°I¡¯m Herman and you must be Falyn. Estra has told me quite a bit about you."

    I shook his hand and replied, ¡°Good to meet you. I appreciate you taking the time to meet me.¡±

    His dark eyes took me in and he smiled, ¡°No need for appreciation. I¡¯m here to satisfy my own curiosity. I heard some interesting things from our little owl friend here and I wanted to see for myself if those things were true.¡±

    Herman was about my height and had to be over fifty years in age. His dark eyes were surrounded by laugh lines and his hair was entirely gray. He appeared to be from another avian tribe, judging by his feathery hair, and he spoke to me in a warm voice that made me think of what a grandfather would be like.

    I was invited to sit down and introduced to the other two on the blanket. After Herman, there was a wolf beastman by the name of Antony, who looked like he¡¯d be more at home with the army generals if not for his soft voice and surprisingly gentle manner. The two males seemed to be familiar with each other and quite friendly. The third person was a female beastman of the lion tribe, named Adelia, with bright amber eyes and a mane of wild, tangled hair that hung in blond colored ropes down her back. All three were visiting the trading city for various reasons, but would eventually return to the lion village where Andrian and I had decided to settle.

    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

    ¡°Estra was quite excited to talk about you, but we wanted to hear about it directly from the source,¡± Antony said, getting straight to the point after the introductions were done.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Herman added, ¡°we were told you successfully partitioned your mind, despite being a human in a land with no magic.¡±

    ¡°Well, yes, I did,¡± I answered, ¡°but I don¡¯t know how much I can tell you about it. I didn¡¯t do it on purpose. I did it to survive.¡±

    ¡°But how was it possible?¡± Antony asked, ¡°From what I¡¯ve been given to understand, humans don¡¯t possess magic due to that stunt with the borderland.¡±

    ¡°Ah, well, I did spend a lot of time in the Beastlands as a child,¡± I replied, ¡°When I was around nine or ten, ten I think, I got it in my head that I wanted to see the borderland with my own two eyes. I suppose I did see it, but I didn¡¯t realize I was seeing it and ended up lost on this side of the border. That¡¯s how I first met Andri. He was still a cub and found me crying my eyes out, completely lost.¡±

    ¡°Andri?¡± Herman asked with a confused expression.

    ¡°As in General Andrian,¡± Estra answered for me, ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you be aware of that, considering you¡¯re here for their joining?¡±

    ¡°When I got here, it was a joining for Rastari and some Duke¡¯s daughter,¡± Herman shrugged, ¡°How am I supposed to keep track of what the high and mighty army decides. It doesn¡¯t really matter to me who¡¯s getting joined anyways. War¡¯s over? Good enough. I¡¯m too old to worry about the politics¡­ So you¡¯re getting joined tomorrow?¡±

    I was a little taken aback by his nonchalant question, but I was also somewhat relieved. I¡¯d thought Estra would have told them about my past. I guess he¡¯d only talked about me in terms of magic.

    ¡°Yes, I am. That Duke¡¯s daughter you mentioned is my half sister,¡± I said and quickly returned to the original topic. ¡°Anyway, because I met Andri, I returned to the Beastlands many times over a number of years. Humans aren¡¯t incapable of magic, we just don¡¯t have access to it. Or so I was told. So my time here left me with enough magic to create a partition when the need arose.¡±

    ¡°That makes sense, but I don¡¯t understand how you could perform such intricate magic without any knowledge or intent,¡± Antony commented, ¡°What were the circumstances at the time? You must have consciously done something to trigger it.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d prefer not to talk about the circumstances, but I can tell you I was young, traumatized, and scared out of my mind. It was more of a survival response than a conscious act, but it allowed me to immediately place the memories I couldn''t handle into a space where they couldn''t reach me. That partition existed for over nine years, but I didn¡¯t realize it until Estra told me what I''d done,¡± I admitted, "I wish I could tell you more, but it''s more like whatever magic I had did it on its own."

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± Antony considered my response for a moment. ¡°Well, you¡¯ve certainly given me a lot to think about. If something like that could be done unconsciously for the sake of self-preservation, and by an unskilled novice with no concept of magic, no less¡­¡±

    ¡°It makes me wonder if we¡¯re overemphasizing the importance of routines and recipes, taking away the freedom of our magic¡¯s abilities,¡± Herman interjected in response to Antony¡¯s musings.

    ¡°Not only that, but think of all the folks out there with the capacity to use magic but chose another path,¡± Antony added, his soft voice becoming excited, ¡°Could it be possible that some of those people are unconsciously using magic to perform small miracles without knowing it? It¡¯s assumed that simply having the natural ability isn¡¯t enough to harness the power of magic, and that you have to train the ability to do anything of note. But if all that¡¯s required is just the ability and need¡­¡± Antony trailed off but gave Herman a meaningful look.

    Herman seemed to understand Antony''s expression and they both hastily got up and excused themselves. They disappeared down one of the many corridors that led further into the building, whispering fervently to each other. It seemed they''d both had the same idea and were inspired to do something about it.

    I felt a little disheartened as I watched the two of them walk away. Two out of the three possible mentors had just walked away as soon as I¡¯d answered a couple questions. Based on their questions, I¡¯d assumed that they came here to sate their curiosities and weren''t seriously considering me, but I hadn¡¯t expected such an abrupt departure. I glanced back at the two people who were still sitting on the blanket with me. Estra gave me an apologetic look while Adelia shook her head at the recently departed shamans.

    ¡°Well, I can¡¯t say I¡¯m surprised,¡± she said, ¡°Estra, if you¡¯re looking for a master for the boy, it would help if you informed the potential masters in advance.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re probably right, but then they wouldn¡¯t have come at all. Neither is looking for an apprentice right now. The only way either of them would take him on is if he caught their interest and they suggested it themselves,¡± Estra replied with a shrug. ¡°Besides, they meant no harm and he was coming here to meet you anyways.¡±

    ¡°As per usual, you can¡¯t say ¡®no¡¯ to anyone,¡± Adelia muttered before turning to look at me. ¡°Unlike the other two, I actually came to the trading city to look for an apprentice. I run a small apothecary and need an assistant to help make the potions. I¡¯d have to test out your skills before I can consider you, of course.¡±

    My eyes widened at her words. Discouraged by the other two leaving so quickly, I hadn¡¯t thought that I¡¯d have any better luck with Adelia. I couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°You¡¯d really consider me?¡±

    Adelia laughed and replied, ¡°I wouldn''t have come if I wasn''t going to consider you."

    ¡°Ah, well, to be honest, where I definitely want to find someone to teach me, I didn¡¯t have high expectations for today,¡± I admitted, ¡°It was our first time meeting, I have limited magic, and I¡¯m a complete novice. I was just grateful to meet people who might be able to point me in the right direction. If you''ll consider me, then I''d like to give it a try.¡±

    ¡°Your limited magic is exactly why I thought you¡¯d be a good choice for Adelia, by the way,¡± Estra informed us, ¡°The more advanced potions are tedious, specific, and time consuming. Those with greater abilities generally shun the whole process. However, you have enough magic to be an excellent potion maker, without the capacity to grow beyond it.¡±

    ¡°What he''s trying to say is that all shamans have a basic knowledge of potions and can make basic recipes, but very few are willing to master the craft,¡± Adelia explained, ¡°I¡¯m tired of taking on apprentices who leave after a few moon cycles. I don¡¯t care if you¡¯re a human with limited magic or if you know nothing about potions. As long as you¡¯ve got potential and won¡¯t quit as soon as I¡¯ve taught you the basics, you''ll work out just fine.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t quit!¡± I announced earnestly, ¡°If you would accept me, I¡¯d very much like to learn from you!¡± I ducked my head down as I finished speaking, somewhat embarrassed by my sudden outburst. But knowing that my limitations wouldn''t be a problem had given me a burst of confidence.

    ¡°Then let¡¯s go test you out,¡± Adelia offered, ignoring my reddened face. ¡°There should be a free lab for us to use. Follow me.¡±

    Adelia stood up and led us down one of the corridors, which looked similar to the one we¡¯d entered through. We soon came to what looked like a dead end, but Adelia used another knothole to open a door to a staircase. As we entered the stairway, it felt like we¡¯d returned to the desert city. The walls were made of the same sandstone I was used to seeing, and the second floor was filled with windows that opened up to a view of the dome.

    We entered what I assumed was one of the labs, an unmarked room off the main hallway. The walls were lined with shelves filled with various herbs, roots, and other ingredients. Other supplies for potion making were scattered about the room. Having only made potions in Estra''s small tent, I felt somewhat intimidated by the scale of the room. There were many ingredients and instruments I didn''t recognize.

    ¡°Should I guide him, or shall you?¡± Estra inquired.

    ¡°You,¡± Adelia immediately replied, ¡°It¡¯ll be easier to observe if I¡¯m not involved. Have him make a potion he¡¯s already made, and I¡¯ll watch the process.¡±

    With that, Estra began instructing me to gather ingredients. Having only created a few successful potions, I was able to recognize that we were making another healing potion. Determined to do my best, I focused all my efforts on following Estra¡¯s careful instructions and soon forgot that someone was watching us.

    When I was done, I happily looked at the potion, which was exactly the right shade and consistency, and presented it to Adelia. She pulled out a knife and calmly slashed her arm, creating a gaping wound on her forearm. Undeterred by the blood pouring from the wound, she calmly poured my potion on the slash and watched as her skin knitted itself back together. Once the wound was healed, she moved her arm around, testing its flexibility and range of motion.

    She looked at me with a satisfied expression and said, ¡°Very well done. I think I''m a little bit impressed. There¡¯s no residual muscle damage left under the healed skin, and I wasn¡¯t displeased with how you work. Very well, when you return to the village, I will take you as an apprentice.¡±

 Chapter Forty Two

    I left the shaman headquarters in somewhat of a daze. I''d only gone in hopes of making a helpful connection or two, but somehow I''d met someone who was actually willing to teach me. A small part of me was disappointed that I could never learn how to do anything flashy with magic, but I was excited to learn more about potion making. I wondered if I could one day become a master of the craft. And more than anything, I was truly beginning to feel like I had a place in the Beastlands, something I¡¯d never experienced in my homeland.

    We bade Adelia goodbye and I promised to come find her apothecary when we reached the village after our joining ceremony was complete. She wasn¡¯t attending the ceremony and would leave the trading city almost immediately, citing that she wanted to get back and reopen her store. I could understand her haste. It must have been tough to close down to make the journey here, not even knowing if she¡¯d find what she was looking for. From the way she described it, she worked from sunup to sundown every day and was weeks behind on her appointments and special orders. If she could turn me into a capable assistant, I would relieve her burden by taking on the special potion requests, as well as maintaining the stock of basic use items. It sounded like it would be a lot of work, but I liked the idea of having a purpose. I didn¡¯t want to waste any more of my life sitting idly in my room.

    Estra brought me back to the inn where Andrian and his dad awaited me. The day had passed quickly and I was caught off guard by the early signs of sunset in the sky. Traveling the city on foot was both practical and enjoyable, but it was also quite time consuming. I realized that I hadn¡¯t eaten since the morning.

    When we arrived at the inn, Andrian was waiting for me outside. He smiled broadly as we approached and pulled me into his embrace as soon as I was within reach.

    ¡°I missed you,¡± Andrian said softly into my ear before planting a kiss on my cheek. "I know it was only for an afternoon, but it felt like an eternity."

    ¡°It was¡­ weird going somewhere without you, actually,¡± I admitted out loud before whispering, ¡°I missed you so much I thought I would go crazy. In the future, I think I''ll have to tie you to me and take you everywhere.¡±

    Andrian laughed and whispered back, "We can make my pendant into a collar and get a leash for you to attach it to."

    Pulling away from him, I saw the playful glint in his eyes and I couldn¡¯t help but laugh with him before replying, ¡°Don¡¯t tempt me. I might just do it.¡±

    ¡°Do what?¡± a familiar voice inquired. Turning away from Andrian, I saw his dad, Uncle Alek, standing at the door of the inn. He must have been waiting inside, hidden from my view.

    ¡°Uncle Alek!¡± I greeted him with a smile.

    ¡°I thought you said you were gonna start calling me Dad,¡± he said as he pulled me into a bone crushing hug and tousled my hair. ¡°How was the trip here? Andri said you guys met some monsters in the desert.¡±

    I shuddered a little as I remembered the Devourers, and nodded, ¡°Yeah, we did. They were the scariest things I¡¯ve ever seen. But I think I did alright. I even managed to kill one!¡±

    ¡°Your voice!¡± Uncle Alek exclaimed, sounding pleasantly surprised. ¡°Andri told me it had gotten better, but it¡¯s still a shock to hear just how much better it is.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s still a bit shocking for me too,¡± I told him honestly, ¡°I thought it would take years to heal, but it doesn¡¯t hurt at all now.¡±

    ¡°Well, then, let¡¯s go use that voice to have a long chat over dinner,¡± Uncle Alek suggested, pulling my arm and leading me towards the inn¡¯s restaurant which was already starting to fill up.

    We took a table and Uncle Alek ordered us a mountain of food. While we slowly worked our way through the heaping plates of food, we chatted about everything that had happened before. Estra joined us for the first little bit, but excused himself after he had eaten his fill. After he left, we talked late into the night, as if making up for the lost time. Andrian held my hand when we talked about things that were difficult to speak of, but it wasn¡¯t as hard as I¡¯d thought it would be. Talking with Uncle Alek was no different from talking to Andrian, so I felt comfortable opening up.

    But mostly, we talked about my time in the Beastlands and our plans for the future. When I brought up my future apprenticeship, Uncle Alek spoke like he was familiar with Adelia. He sang her praises so much that I wondered if he liked her for more than just her potions. When I asked him as much, he changed the subject without answering, but the tips of his ears looked a little red.

    Long after the sun had disappeared below the horizon, we said our goodnights and went to our rooms. As I climbed into bed with Andrian, I couldn¡¯t help but look forward to the next day, when we would have our joining ceremony and become one in the eyes of the Beastlands. It took me a long time to fall asleep, as the butterflies I felt in my stomach when I thought about it just wouldn¡¯t let me rest.

    The sun had just begun to rise when I awoke from my slumber the next morning. Our room was still dark and Andrian was still asleep, using my chest as his pillow. As soon as I tried to move, despite my best efforts to free myself without disturbing him, he stirred and opened his eyes. We lay there quietly for a moment, gazing at each other¡¯s faces. The warmth he held for me in his eyes was so comforting and familiar that I found it difficult to break free.

    The joining ceremony would be an all day event for us. After breaking our fast downstairs, we would leave for the dome and go our separate ways from there. We would both be prepared for the ceremony, in both body and spirit, before reuniting for the official ceremony, which would begin when the sun reached its zenith. After the ceremony, a great feast would be held, then Andrian and I would retire to a specially prepared room in a nearby temple, and spend our ''first night'' together.

    I was a little concerned about that last part. At this point, we were already quite familiar with each other¡¯s bodies, which had been entangled in many ways, but there was a certain line we¡¯d never crossed. In fact, it was something that we¡¯d never even discussed. I''d never asked Andrian how he felt on the matter, and my own feelings were clear enough. Even if I¡¯d shared myself with Andrian in every other way, when I thought about such things, I felt an instinctual fear and disgust. There were still a lot of bad memories that I¡¯d yet to truly deal with. In a way, I hated Albrecht the most. Even though the worst scenario had never come to pass, he¡¯d left scars that I feared I may never heal.

    Did I dare to hope that it wouldn¡¯t come up? The Beastlands had no expectations of chastity before joining, so there was nothing to stop Andrian from bringing it up before now. It was possible that he had no desire to cross that line, or he simply understood me well enough to know that I couldn¡¯t accept him in that way. Even if it was the other way around, I lacked confidence in my abilities. It would be best if I avoided the subject altogether and tried to please him in other ways.

    I pushed those worries aside and decided to focus on the ceremony instead of worrying about the first night. It was probably just a symbolic thing anyway. Andrian and I washed our faces, dressed ourselves, and went downstairs to the inn¡¯s restaurant for breakfast. Uncle Alek met us downstairs and we were soon joined by Rastari, who would again be serving as an escort to ensure we made it to where we needed to be.

    We ate quickly and departed from the inn. Having traveled back and forth a couple times, I thought we¡¯d no longer need Rastari¡¯s guidance, but it seemed that the dome wasn''t our intended location. Instead, he led us to a small temple on the outskirts of the city center on the opposite side of the dome from whence we came.

    There were six beastmen waiting for us outside the temple and Rastari advised that we would have to separate from here to be cleansed and prepared for the ceremony. Three of the beastmen took Andrian down a flight of stairs into the temple basement, and I was guided upstairs by the other three. The trio guiding me introduced themselves as acolytes of the temple, shamans who had chosen to forsake their tribes to become servants of the spirits. Without mentioning their former tribes, they introduced themselves to me as Lyra, Paul, and Seraphine.

    The first place they led me to was a room that looked like a smaller version of a public bathhouse. They directed me to a change room with a curtain and told me I should remove the garments I was wearing and replace them with what I found on the shelf. Much to my dismay, the so-called replacement clothes couldn¡¯t even be considered undergarments. Just two triangles of fabric that tied together at the hip. It covered exactly enough so that I wouldn¡¯t be exposed to the three beastmen waiting on the other side of the curtain. Realizing there was nothing to be done about it, I stripped off my clothes and tied the fabric in place. Having experienced casual public nudity at both the lake and the bathhouse, I supposed I should be grateful to have something to cover myself with at all.

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    When I came out from behind the curtain, the trio guided me to a small open shower in the corner that gently soaked me with warm water that endlessly fell from a skylight that showed a clear blue sky above. It felt like being caught in a gentle rain in the midst of a hot sunny day, both pleasant and surreal. I closed my eyes and savored the sensation of the water cascading over me.

    Once the surface dirt was washed away, I was led to a bathtub that was dug into the floor, large enough to have steps leading down into it. The water was hot enough to produce steam and about waist deep when I stood in the middle of the tub. On one side, there was a seat built into the side that had no backrest and sat just above the water level. On the opposite side was a bench that was placed below the water¡¯s surface where you could sit down and soak.

    I sat on the bench and the water enveloped me, covering everything but my neck and head. As I soaked in the steaming water, I closed my eyes and felt the tension in my body slowly disappear. Once I¡¯d soaked myself to contentment, I was moved to the above water seat and the three shamans began the process of properly washing me clean. Lyra took a rough textured cloth and scrubbed my shoulders and back, while Seraphine entered the tub and started rubbing the calluses off my feet with a grainy stone. Paul poured a liquid soap into my hair and washed it gently, massaging my scalp with his fingers. For my part, all I had to do was surrender myself to their pampering. It was an experience unlike any I¡¯d had before. Even at the Royal Palace, no one had assisted me with bathing.

    Once I was scrubbed, buffed, and rinsed, I was led back to the shower to wash away the remaining soap. It felt like the top layer of my skin had been removed, leaving my body feeling soft to the touch and smoother than it had even been. The three shamans dried my body with soft, fluffy towels, drying my hair for me as well. After that, I was sent back into the change room with a new, dry undergarment to put on.

    I exited the change room feeling fresh, clean, and relaxed. I was led out the door of the bathroom and taken into another room across the hall. The room was lined with wooden shelves with what looked like a sleeping mattress mounted as a table.

    ¡°Lie face down on the table,¡± Seraphine instructed me, pointing at the mounted mattress. ¡°Be comfortable and at ease. We will take care of the rest.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± I said as I climbed onto the table.

    I laid down on my stomach, resting my face on my forearm. Before long, the room began to fill with a pleasant scent, smoky and sweet, with floral and woodsy undertones.

    ¡°Feel free to close your eyes,¡± Lyra told me and I felt something warm and slippery being slowly poured over my spine. Suddenly, I felt hands on my back, and I involuntarily jumped from the surprise. ¡°Shh, shh, this is part of the cleansing. We will help you release all of your physical tension so that, when the time comes, you can focus solely on opening yourself to the spirits.¡±

    As she spoke, she began to spread the liquid, her hands gliding over my shoulders and back, slick with oil. More liquid was poured over my legs and promptly spread. Once I was coated in the oil, she moved her hands back up my body and began massaging the base of my skull before continuing to my neck. Slowly and precisely, she worked her way down my back, my arms, and my legs, carefully digging into each individual muscle, leaving me limp and languid from head to toe. The oil smelled of lavender and something I couldn¡¯t identify. That, along with the smoke wafting through the room, created a scent that swaddled me with a sense of tranquility.

    When she was done with my fingers and toes, I was turned over and oil was poured over my chest and abdomen. The oil was spread by her hands over my torso, then up to my neck and face. My whole body tingled pleasantly. My relaxed body state heightened my awareness and left me both light and lucid.

    Seraphine and Lyra assisted me in standing up and led me through a third door into a windowless stone room that was lit by torches upon the walls. In the center was a large stone with a flat top and crystals hung from the ceiling like little stars that gleamed in the torchlight. Paul waited for me there, wearing a dark red robe, looking solemn and serene. I felt like I was walking on a cloud as I approached the stone altar.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Paul said softly to the other two, ¡°I will take it from here.¡±

    They both nodded and left the room, closing the door behind them.

    ¡°Please lie face up upon the altar,¡± Paul instructed in a soothing voice, ¡°you have been physically cleansed and the tensions of this world have been erased from your body. Next, we shall do the same for your mind and soul. Once we have completely cleansed your entire being, you¡¯ll be purified and ready to be joined in the eyes of the spirits. While you have been with us, your partner has undergone the same cleansing, so that he too will be purified and ready. I will be putting you into a trance-like state and guiding you through a self purification. The spirits will greet you once you are tranced and ready.¡±

    Interesting, I thought as I lay myself down as he¡¯d instructed, this sounds a lot like what Estra did with me the first night I went to his tent. Trancing is what he called it, too. So it¡¯s for more than just treating maladies of the mind.

    Despite my expectations to the contrary, I found myself to be quite comfortable on top of the hard stone surface of the altar. I stared up at the stone ceiling and waited. Without asking me to drink tea or anything else I remembered Estra doing, Paul began chanting in a low voice. The timber of his voice sent shivers down my spine and I almost felt like I was floating. I found myself being enveloped in a warm white light that soothed me and lulled me into a dream-like state.

    I closed my eyes, and when I opened them there was nothing but white light. With the light surrounding me, I couldn¡¯t move my body or see, but I felt strangely calm about that fact. I didn¡¯t need to move right now, so why should I worry about it?

    ¡°Let go of your worries, let go of your doubts,¡± a voice echoed in my mind, ¡°from the in-between we have been called.¡±

    I was certain that the voice didn''t belong to Paul. It was a voice I didn¡¯t recognize at all. But it was a beautiful voice, familiar yet unknowable.

    ¡°Do not be afraid, human friend,¡± a different voice rang out, ¡°we¡¯re here to place our blessing upon you.¡±

    ¡°You are one who wishes to receive our blessing, are you not?¡± yet another voice asked.

    ¡°He does not yet know who we are,¡± the first voice responded, ¡°He is from the place we cannot go. Of the species that forgot us.¡±

    ¡°Yet he seeks our blessing?¡±

    ¡°He knows not whose blessing he seeks. He wishes to be joined with one of our children.¡±

    ¡°Should we allow it?¡±

    ¡°The child who is ours desires it. He is also calling for our blessing.¡±

    ¡°He wishes to receive our blessing and he also wields some of our power.¡±

    ¡°He is a child of both lands then.¡±

    ¡°From the place we cannot go, born of the people who forgot us.¡±

    ¡°Reborn into a new life.¡±

    ¡°Our child is already bound to him, by a one sided leash of his own devising.¡±

    ¡°Bound?¡±

    ¡°His bonded mate. Unreciprocated but not unwanted. Humans cannot grasp the ties that bind.¡±

    "Then he can also be our child."

    ¡°Child, do you wish for our blessing?¡± the second voice asked me again, after a cacophony of voices had sounded, all at once.

    ¡°I do,¡± I answered, ¡°though I¡¯m not sure what that means. You¡¯re the spirits right?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°The spirits is what they call us.¡±

    ¡°We have many names.¡±

    ¡°We are the voice of magic itself.¡±

    ¡°We are the source.¡±

    ¡°We are energy personified.¡±

    ¡°But do not mistake us for gods.¡±

    ¡°We are the energy of the land and the memories of times long past.¡±

    ¡°Our blessing can bring many things.¡±

    ¡°Whatever form it will take is up to you.¡±

    ¡°To cleanse you of the darkness that is chained to your heart.¡±

    ¡°So you may offer a pure heart to your mate.¡±

    ¡°This is not absolution.¡±

    ¡°We cannot erase the past. What¡¯s done is done.¡±

    ¡°We do not heal, we purify.¡±

    ¡°Pure heart and pure soul, this is how you must be joined.¡±

    ¡°We offer this to our children so two souls can become one.¡±

    The different voices echoed through my mind like they were my own thoughts. I calmly accepted their explanation. I would receive no healing but I would be purified of the darkness, so we could join our souls. It wasn''t until that moment that I realized what a true joining would mean. This wasn''t just a marriage. Our fates would be bound together for the rest of our lives, two halves of one soul. My heart felt like it was going to explode right out of my chest.  After today, Andrian would truly be mine forever. I couldn''t be abandoned or forgotten. He would be bound to me in this life and beyond.

    I asked them to please give me their blessing.

 Chapter Forty Three

    When I came back to awareness after the trancing was through, I clearly remembered what had occurred up to a certain point. However, I couldn¡¯t recall the details of receiving the spirits blessing. I remembered asking them for it, but then everything faded to white  light and the next thing I knew I was staring at the stone ceiling of the room in the temple. I sat up on the altar, feeling mildly disoriented.

    ¡°How do you feel?¡± I heard a voice ask from beside me. Turning my head, I saw that Paul was watching me with a gentle smile on his face.

    ¡°I feel¡­ I feel fine,¡± I answered, assessing my current state. I felt exactly as I had before. For all I knew, it could have been a dream.

    ¡°Actually, I wasn¡¯t sure the spirits would appear to you,¡± Paul admitted. ¡°This is the first time in our known history that they have been called for a human¡¯s sake. But I am glad you are well and that you received their blessing.¡±

    ¡°They did agree to give me their blessing, but it doesn''t feel real. It feels like a wild dream and a lot of what they said was hard to follow. They said that I was from the people that forgot them and the place they can¡¯t go,¡± I told him excitedly, trying to recall what the spirits had said, ¡°but because their child is bonded to me, I can also be their child. There was more, but it was hard to keep track of everything they said. It felt like multiple voices were whispering in my ear, all at the same time.¡±

    ¡°Ah yes, I understand what you mean,¡± Paul nodded with a knowing smile. He didn''t elaborate but I could easily imagine he had experience talking with the spirits. He gestured to the door and said, ¡°it should be about time for us to meet up with your mate again. Shall we?¡±

    I got up at his words and we left the altar behind us. Seraphine and Lyra were waiting beyond the door, and the three beastmen led me down the hall toward the stairs. It wasn¡¯t until I was half way down the stairs that I realized I was still wearing nothing but a piece of fabric around my waist. However, there didn¡¯t seem to be much I could do about that now, so I just continued my descent without comment.

    As we reached the bottom of our stairs, Andrian and the other three shamans emerged at the top of theirs. Andrian was clad in a familiar looking piece of fabric tied loosely around his waist. When our eyes met, I naturally drifted over to where he was standing and reached out to him. He immediately took my hand and pulled me into his embrace.

    During the time I¡¯d been upstairs, our robes for the ceremony had been delivered and were waiting for us, gently folded on a shelf. The shamans helped us dress in the robes we¡¯d chosen the day before. The detailing had been added, green for Andrian and amber for me, and there were matching pants for us to wear underneath.

    Dressed and ready, we exited the temple to find an open carriage with a driver and two horses waiting for us. The carriage had small trees with long dangling branches growing over each of its four corners and it was covered in ivy. The horses¡¯ reins were covered in the same ivy, as was the driver¡¯s seat.

    Seeing my questioning gaze, one of the shamans who¡¯d attended Andrian explained, ¡°This is an old tradition, one we don¡¯t normally adhere to. Since your joining is to be such a large event, it was decided that the old traditions should be followed exactly, bizarre as they may be.¡±

    The driver climbed down and opened a door for us to enter the carriage. Except for the trees, which seemed to be growing out of the floor, there was nothing inside but a bench for us to sit on. There were no stairs either, so I had to climb my way into the strange carriage.

    We were told that the tradition of arriving in a special carriage was so old that it could be called archaic and had long been removed from the ceremony. The carriages were difficult to build, even more difficult to maintain, and the ceremony didn''t require them. But for today, the old traditions would be adhered to for the sake of showmanship. We¡¯d ride inside until we reached the dome and that would be it. I could see why it was removed from the ceremony, given its lack of purpose and expensive upkeep. But I liked it, regardless. Because it was something special that was only for us.

    The horse drawn carriage brought us to the dome swiftly, passing through the busy streets with ease. We drew a few curious glances along the way, but no one really paid us any mind. However, it was a different story when we arrived at the dome. Previously, we had left our horses outside when we entered, but today the carriage drove right in. The workers who had been bustling about the previous time I¡¯d been there were all gathered in the open space, watching our arrival with excitement. A few even shouted words of encouragement to us.

    The carriage pulled up in front of the building I¡¯d been previously told was used for events and stopped there. In front of the event hall was a collection of the people I¡¯d gotten to know along the way, both the group we¡¯d traveled the Beastlands with as well as the generals I¡¯d met when leaving Vrayna. Uncle Alek was also with the group. They stood, still as statues, holding more ivy and looking solemn. This part of the ceremony had been explained to me, so I wasn¡¯t surprised to see them waiting for us.

    We climbed out of the carriage and were adorned in the ivy. One strand was wrapped around our shoulders, and another used to bind our held hands together. Wishes of luck and happiness were given to us, and Uncle Alek embraced us both tightly.

    ¡°Congratulations, to my son by blood and my son by choice,¡± he said quietly. ¡°Nothing could bring me more joy than seeing the two of you like this.¡±

    We thanked him from the bottom of our hearts and entered the building, with our closest acquaintances following behind. Even if it was just for show, their presence was comforting. I''d never known what it was like to feel like there were people on my side.

    Inside, the entire Beastlands Council was waiting for us. A long woven carpet, lined with more ivy, led from the door to an altar on the opposite side of the large room. On either side of the wide carpet was the entirety of the Beastlands council, watching us as we entered. As we¡¯d been previously instructed, we walked down the long carpet path with our bound hands in front of us. Silence fell as we made our way to the altar, where an elderly female awaited us.

    When we reached where she stood, there was a moment of complete silence before she raised her voice and said, ¡°Children of the spirits, thank you for coming to witness the joining of these two souls, who have traveled the long road to be here.¡±

    Silence greeted her words, but it seemed that was expected, as she smiled deeply and fixed her gaze upon us.

    ¡°Andrian, son of Aleksander and Julien de Ramport of Vrayna,¡± she acknowledged us with a nod of her head, ¡°today we will ask the spirits for their aid in binding your souls and joining your spirits. The night of the new moon shall mark the beginning of your lifelong companionship. Before we begin, I want you to know how blessed I feel to be a part of this unique and beautiful union. When I was first requested to officiate this ceremony, I wanted to refuse. Where I hold no objections to a union between human and beastman, I was deeply concerned by the nature of the joining. Partners without affection and a bastardized ceremony that mocked the very things I stood for. I agreed for the sake of bringing peace to our peoples, but I did so with a heavy heart.¡±

    She paused for a moment as her words penetrated the silence that permeated the large space. She looked out at the beastmen gathered behind us, assessing them with her eyes. I wanted to look behind me to see what she saw, but I thought better of it and waited for her to continue.

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    ¡°However, the burden has been lifted from my heart upon seeing the two of you before me now. I''ve heard your story and the darkness you had to overcome to arrive at this point. Tonight, in the darkness of the night of the new moon, we will rejoice in your love entering into the light. Today, under the brightest light of the sun, we shall guide your souls as they become one.

    ¡°Everyone who is present, I invite you to join me in calling the spirits, who have already blessed this union. Help me to request their assistance in binding these two souls. From the darkest night comes the brightest day. Andrian and Julien, please take each other''s hands.¡±

    She untangled the ivy from around our forearms so we could face each other properly. I grasped both of his hands tightly. I could see my face reflected in his tender gaze and my heart felt full as we waited for her to continue.

    ¡°Under the light of the brightest sun, we call upon you, spirits of magic,¡± the shaman called out. ¡°Show us your power and your presence.¡±

    I felt a cool but pleasant breeze begin blowing through the room. The tiny hairs all over my body stood up at attention and my entire body tingled as the presence of the spirits was made known.

    ¡°Andrian, son of Aleksander, before all those who are gathered here, I ask you; is it your will to be joined in both body and spirit to this human?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Andrian said without hesitation. ¡°It is my will and my life long desire.¡±

    ¡°And Julien de Ramport, I ask you the same; is it your will to be joined in both body and spirit with this man?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± I answered, ¡°it is my will.¡±

    ¡°As both participants have declared this is their will, we shall proceed,¡± she said with a gentle smile. Then, in a powerful voice, she instructed the crowd, ¡°I will ask everyone to close their physical eyes and open their third eye. You too,¡± she added softly, glancing at the two of us in front of her. ¡°Close your eyes and open yourselves to the power of the spirits.¡±

    I followed her instructions, closing my eyes to the space around me and allowing my third eye to open. As soon as I¡¯d done so, I felt the breeze that still drifted around the room grow stronger. My heart beat painfully loud inside my chest.

    ¡°Spirits, you have granted your blessing to these two souls, and they have both given their consent to this union. Before the eyes of the Beastland council, give me the strength to join these souls in the eternal bonds of love and companionship.¡±

    The breeze became a strong wind and it felt like my entire body was being lifted. I held Andrian''s hands tightly, using them as an anchor as the world around me began to feel like it was floating off into the distance.

    Fighting the urge to open my eyes, I accepted the stream of power that ran through my body and escaped through my hands into Andrian. Before I could feel relieved that the electrifying current was gone, a different power surged through me, entering me through the very place where the other had escaped. This power was different. Somehow, I could feel Andrian within it. It was like the very essence of his being was coursing through my veins, filling me with his presence. It was exhilarating and felt so good that I had to stifle a moan that tried to escape from my mouth.

    ¡°Open your eyes,¡± the shaman commanded.

    As I obeyed her words, I discovered that the feeling of being lifted by the breeze wasn¡¯t just my imagination. We were floating high above the altar, held in the air by the power of the spirits. My breath caught in my throat and I tightened my hold on Andrian¡¯s hands. Perhaps I should have been afraid, but the look of tenderness in Andrian¡¯s eyes stayed my fear.

    Our hair blew wildly in the uncontrolled breeze as the shaman continued, ¡°In the eyes of those gathered, in the eyes of the spirits, and in the eyes of your ancestors, you shall be joined for this life and the next. Open yourself to your partner and let their magic flow through you.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t sure what I was supposed to do, but Andrian, already bonded to me for so many years, took the lead. Before, I could feel Andrian¡¯s power gently flowing through me, but now it was as if he was invading every fiber of my being. Almost unable to breath, I pushed back, not to reject his invasion, but to begin one of my own. Clumsily, I released my magic into him and couldn¡¯t help but gasp as he accepted it and drew my essence into his body. His eyes flashed green in my vision and I wondered if mine had taken on an amber hue.

    As we shared our essence with each other, an act far more intimate than any we¡¯d shared before, our bodies slowly drifted back down and I eventually felt my feet touch the floor. Wrapped in the warmth of the exchange, I had completely forgotten where we were and surrendered to the sensation of being connected to him.

    ¡°Bring me the pendants,¡± the shaman commanded someone, pulling me out of my reverie. I wondered how long we¡¯d been lost in each other, having no sense of the time that had passed.

    The pendants were brought to the shaman and she placed them on the altar. She began chanting in a low voice as I continued to cling to Andrian¡¯s hands. As her chanting continued, the pendants began to glow, one shining a vibrant green, the other a soft amber.

    When they were both glowing brightly, she picked up the green one and turned to Andrian. Seeming to know what she wanted, he bowed his head so she could place the pendant around his neck.

    ¡°By accepting this pendant, you accept your partner as your mate in this life and the next. His will shall be your will and your will shall be his. If he is to suffer, you shall suffer with him. If he is to experience joy, you will feel joy with him. Where one ends, the other will begin. Do you accept this pendant and all that it symbolizes?¡± she asked in a grave voice.

    ¡°Yes, I accept it,¡± Andrian affirmed as the pendant was placed around his neck. The green glow subsided as soon as the pendant was released from her grasp and lay against his chest.

    She picked up the amber pendant and turned to me. Repeating the words she had said to Andrian, the shaman asked me if I would accept the pendant.

    ¡°Yes, I accept it,¡± I agreed, mirroring Andrian¡¯s words. She placed the pendant over my head and the piece of amber touched against my chest. The glow emanating from it faded away once the shaman released it.

    ¡°Face your partner and repeat my words as I say them,¡± she instructed.

    The words she uttered sounded similar to her earlier chanting. I had no idea what the words meant, but I could instinctively follow along with the unfamiliar language. As we repeated her words, I felt something deep inside me that, even now, I still can¡¯t put into words. The longer we chanted, the more that feeling built inside of me, until it felt like something would erupt from within me. If not for the feeling of Andrian¡¯s hands in mine, I might have lost myself in that feeling completely. But his presence and his voice, which harmonized with mine as we chanted, kept me grounded.

    Finally, as our voices echoed into the room, no more words came from the shamans mouth. In my mind, my heart, and my soul, if only for a moment, nothing existed but the man in front of me. My heart was beating so hard that it felt like my entire body shuddered with each beat. I felt connected to Andrian in a way I¡¯d never felt towards another person before.

    ¡°Your souls are now joined, to be forever connected by your will, your magic, and the power of the spirits. To conclude the ceremony, and as a symbol of your eternal union, taste the breath of your mate and experience what it means to be one.¡±

    At her words, Andrian used his grip on my hands to pull me forward so I was pressed against him. We breathed the same air as our hearts pulsed in time with each other. Releasing my hands, Andrian wrapped an arm around my waist, and he used the other arm to raise his hand and caress my face. I leaned into his palm against my cheek and allowed him to raise my chin so I was looking in his eyes.

    I was instantly lost in those warm amber eyes, so similar to the pendant around my neck. As his mouth moved to meet mine, I leaned in to him to shorten the distance. As soon as our lips met, a wave came crashing over me and I fell into the kiss like a man drowning. I reached up to grab the back of his head, tangling my fingers tightly in his hair, and wrapped my other arm around him so he couldn''t escape. Mine.

    I pressed my tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss, and Andrian¡¯s grip on me tightened as he accepted my invasion. Losing all rationality, I sank into the sensations of his mouth against mine, holding onto him desperately. He was mine and I needed to claim him. It was an animalistic desire, one I¡¯d never experienced before. Mine. Mine. Mine.

    The sound of people cheering brought me back to my senses. We reluctantly broke our kiss, both of us drawing in ragged breaths as we tried to calm ourselves. I looked out at the crowd behind us and saw Uncle Alek¡¯s face at the front, hollering and cheering along with the others. Even the grim marshal generals wore smiles on their faces.

    Andrian and I clasped hands again and walked into the crowd of beastmen waiting to congratulate us.

 Chapter Forty Four

    The after party was being held in the city center, outside the dome. Rather than a closed reception, it would be a celebration held in the streets where all would be welcome to attend. As we exited the dome, I was surprised to see that the sun was already halfway across the sky. Based on the time of year, if we¡¯d started the ceremony at the sun¡¯s zenith, three or four movements must have passed since then. Just how long were we chanting for? I wondered. The entirety of the ceremony felt like it lasted for a single movement at most.

    During the time we¡¯d been inside, the city center had been transformed into what looked like an outdoor tavern. Dozens of food stalls had been set up, serving every kind of food the Beastlands had to offer. All over the space were tables, which were simply logs placed on their sides then cut flat on top so food and drink could be placed on them. Some were as long as twenty feet and looked like branchless felled trees. The bark was still intact on most of them and they looked freshly cut. The fresh wood looked decidedly out of place in the middle of a desert city.

    Small logs, big rocks, and carved wooden benches provided the seating for the makeshift tavern. There were open kegs next to every table, and the wine and ale were already flowing. Beastmen of every variety milled about, drinking and laughing. It looked to me like an entire section of the city had shut down to join in the celebration. The delicious smell of grilled meat, spices, and fire smoke filled the air.

    In the midst of all the confusion, a section of the space had been left open, reserved for dancing to the musical performers. On a small platform that served as a stage, the musicians banged drums, played pipes, and plucked a stringed instrument that looked similar to a guitar. It was the first time I had heard Beastlands music and it was very strange to my ears. Accustomed to the sounds of pianos, violins, and cellos, I was momentarily overwhelmed by the pounding beats and the high pitched tones of the pipes. However, as I grew accustomed to it, I found that I quite liked it.

    In front of the musicians, on a lower, much larger platform, was a group of dancers, who danced in a single line with matching choreography, completely in sync as they performed intricate kicks and turns. The dancers wore nothing but bright red undergarments, which served to accentuate their finely muscled bodies and flawless movements. The dancing area was loosely populated with beastmen who danced freely, without technique or form, moving their bodies to the music as they pleased.

    I was so taken in by the whole scene that I didn¡¯t even notice the wild cheering that greeted us as we walked out. By the time I¡¯d taken everything in with an awe-struck expression on my face, we were already being approached by random well wishers, who offered us perfunctory congratulations before returning to their original purpose, the free food and alcohol. The lively atmosphere reminded me of my first few nights with the beastmen, traveling with the large army.

    In a daze, we were led to one of the log tables, where Uncle Alek waited for us. He was brimming with excitement, hugging us and thumping our backs. It was almost too much, but I didn''t want to put a damper on his enthusiasm, especially after hearing him call me ''son''. Some of the beast generals, with Rastari as their ringleader, insisted on serving us and acting like servants, laughing wildly as they called us ¡®my lords¡¯ and bowed to us. Their infectious good spirits left me with no choice but to play along and it wasn¡¯t long before we had enough food to feed the entire beast army in front of us.

    As we ate and drank, I noticed a familiar figure emerge from the crowd and walk toward us. My eyes widened as I recognized the human man walking toward me. I searched my memory for his name and he offered me a brief smile as he approached.

    ¡°Marquis Heinrich!¡± I called out when his name finally came to me. ¡°What are you doing here?¡±

    He stopped dead in his tracks when I spoke to him. He narrowed his eyes and asked, ¡°Weren¡¯t you a mute?¡±

    ¡°He was,¡± Rastari answered for me, ¡°and now he¡¯s not. It would be appreciated if you could keep that fact to yourself for the time being.¡±

    The Marquis nodded carefully and replied, ¡°Ay, I can do that,¡± before continuing. ¡°Anyway, Marquis Julien, on behalf of the duchy of Misenport, I congratulate you on your nuptials. I salute your willingness to serve our nation and am pleased to see you have found true happiness in your service.¡± He spoke in a formal tone, befitting a Vraynian noble. ¡°As for why I¡¯m here, I came to look into the cooperative arrangement we discussed at your engagement party and decided to continue south for your ceremony. I thought it might do you good to see a fellow countryman in your isolation.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve got it backwards though,¡± I said softly, ¡°it¡¯s more like I escaped isolation by coming here. However I am quite pleased to see the Marquis, who has come all this way for my sake. It is indeed uplifting to see a fellow countryman.¡±

    ¡°And General Andrian, it is a pleasure to meet you again,¡± Marquis Heinrich acknowledged Andrian with a bow of his head. ¡°Congratulations on your nuptials.¡±

    Andrian greeted him in kind and offered him a seat at our table, which the Marquis gladly accepted. He told us that the morning after the engagement party, he''d visited the beast camp to look for any soldiers from the northern bear tribe who may have come along. As luck would have it, he found one willing to guide him. They had gone north immediately and he was able to meet with a couple of generals in one of the larger bear villages. They were on their way to the ceremony and offered to discuss things on the road. Negotiations had gone smoothly so far, and it looked like his efforts would be worthwhile.

    Though Marquis Heinrich remained stiff and formal in his speech, I found myself lapsing back into the more casual tone that was prevalent in the Beastlands and among the Vraynian commoners. The Marquis, however, didn''t seem to notice the change, probably due to his immersion in the Beastlands over the past few weeks. I wondered if perhaps he was the one who was yearning to see a fellow countryman.

    The Marquis stayed at our table for a while before offering us a final congratulations and moving on. While he sat with us, we had the chance to fill our bellies with a little bit of every type of food we could find. With our appetites sated, we took our freshly filled glasses and started walking around the city center, enjoying the enormous party. Beyond where all the food stalls were set up, we found other vendors who had come to sell their wares to the large crowd. Brightly colored clothing, simple jewelry, and various types of magically fueled fireworks were all on display, along with artisans selling their crafts and even someone offering tattooing services, which was something I had never seen before.

    We were out of fruit wine long before we were done exploring, but since we had a long night ahead of us, I opted to wait until we were finished looking at everything to get our glasses refilled. Andrian seemed content to let me browse around at my leisure, following me from stall to stall, constantly asking if I wanted him to buy me things. I declined his offers repeatedly until I found a stall selling simple rope bracelets adorned with small glass beads. But after I¡¯d chosen a bracelet for each of us, the stall owner declined to take our payment, wishing us a happy future together.

    By the time we returned to our table, the sky was painted a vibrant red and the sun was about to dip below the horizon. We resumed our drinking and before long I was feeling the effects of the fruit wine. I found myself watching the beastmen dancing to the live music. A different group of musicians were performing now, playing a lively tune that featured pipes and small string instruments that resembled violins but produced a far more energetic sound.

    ¡°Do you want to go dance?¡± Andrian asked me, seeing where my eyes were focused.

    "I want to, but I''m not familiar with the dances here," I told him honestly, "and I''m afraid I''ll just look like a fool."

    Andrian looked out at the beastmen who danced wildly about and said, ¡°I don¡¯t think you need to worry about that. I know that you¡¯re used to choreographed dances that flaunt how noble one is, but here, it¡¯s all about appreciating the music. There are no specific steps and no rules to follow. You can just move your body to the music however you please.¡±

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    I could tell from the dancers in front of me that he was right, so I gathered my courage and said, "Okay, let''s go dance."

    We downed what remained in our glasses and made our way over. We arrived in time for a new song to start, a lively jig full of vitality. Andrian took my hand and led me out onto the makeshift dance floor. Surrounded by fearless beastmen who didn''t care how silly they looked, I stood frozen, not knowing what to do.

    ¡°Here, place your hand on my waist, and take my other hand like this,¡± Andrian instructed, pulling me into a posture that was similar to how we danced at our engagement ceremony. He placed his free hand on my shoulder and said, "Now concentrate on feeling the music and follow my lead."

    Before I could respond, we were already moving. There was no artistry, no structure, and no proper form. At first, I was confused and self-conscious, but as we continued, I let go of my expectations and let myself experience the music. Soon, I had completely forgotten my reticence and was dancing as freely and wildly as the beastmen around me, which was exhilarating in its own way. I couldn''t say if it was the music or the wine, but I felt free. I felt alive.

    After a couple more upbeat songs, the musicians began playing a slower tune to allow the dancers time to catch their breath. I took advantage of the tempo change and pulled Andrian close to me. We swayed in time to the music, gazing into each other¡¯s eyes. As the slow, melodic song came to a close, I captured his lips with mine, savoring the sweetness of the moment.

    Suddenly, I heard some loud bangs off in the distance. I pulled away from Andrian¡¯s lips just in time to see bursts of color staining the now darkened sky. Someone was setting off some of the fireworks that I¡¯d seen being sold. From how many were going off, I had to assume it was more than just one person doing so. Crimson, azure, and gold, followed by amethyst, emerald, and silver; the colors exploded across the night sky leaving sparkling trails reminiscent of a shooting star.

    Even the music stopped as the revelers paused to appreciate the sight. I¡¯d never seen fireworks before, but they were more incredible than I could have imagined. Some of them looked like blooming flowers, their petals bursting out before fading away, leaving nothing but a sparkling residue behind. Then there were others that started as a single stream of color before splitting into multiple streams of various colors. Others were just small white sparkles in the night sky, like temporary stars.

    I stared at the scene enraptured, holding Andrian¡¯s hand in mine, not even daring to breathe lest I somehow ruin the magic. Eventually the fireworks were exhausted and the last bursts of color faded into the night. Above me was a clear, black sky, illuminated by the light of thousands of stars. The moon¡¯s absence from the sky highlighted their gentle glimmer, but the night was very dark, with only those stars to light the sky.

    ¡°Do humans know of the constellations above?¡± Andrian inquired.

    ¡°We do, though I think we may see them differently than you. At the very least, I think we have different names for them,¡± I replied, gazing up at the stars. ¡°It¡¯s at a different angle than I¡¯m used to, but do you see there? The four stars in a line with three more floating around them¡­ there, there, and there? That¡¯s the constellation called Mariosopie. They are one of our Gods. The God of order and discipline.¡±

    Andrian thought for a moment, before he told me, ¡°There are some spirits whose powers are great enough to warrant constellations, but most are stories of beastmen whose legends became so great that they were written in the stars. The one you call Mariosopie, we call Reyralf, the wolf who walked a straight line through the wildlands and killed thousands of monsters before three dragons fell upon him and ended his life.¡±

    ¡°Okay¡­ what about that one there? We call it Bryndowan. The five stars there,¡± I pointed up to each star individually, tracing their image in the sky, ¡°along with those two there. They are our God of justice.¡±

    ¡°That is also a legend¡¯s constellation. Yedina, who crossed the desert to search for her lost love,¡± Andrian explained, ¡°Hers is a legend that I know very well. She was a shaman of the snake tribe who fell in love with a shaman of the bear tribe, and he loved her in turn. Each year, in a time before the great road, he would make the journey through the most dangerous part of the desert, suffering through the heat and perilous landscape, just to see the woman he loved. Then, one year, he didn¡¯t come. At first Yedina believed he had forgotten about her, but after reflecting on their time together, she realized he would never do that. So Yedina set out into the desert to go north and find the man she loved. As she traveled, she grew to truly understand the hardships he had endured for her, which made her love him all the more. After half of a moon cycle, she reached the middle of the desert and that was where she found him. However, what she found was not her lover, but her lover¡¯s corpse. The barren desert had claimed another victim. In her grief, she gathered all of her magic and released it into the desert, ending her life and cursing the land. She''s the reason there''s a part of the desert that remains impassable to this day.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a really sad story,¡± I commented softly, feeling sorry for the woman who had lost her lover.

    ¡°You know, for all those long years, I was always reminded of you when I looked at this constellation. You came to see me every few moon cycles and then you disappeared. I didn¡¯t believe that you¡¯d have forgotten me either¡­ and I was terrified that my own story would end the same as hers.¡± Andrian paused for a moment and the implications of what he was saying really sunk in. Feelings of guilt rose to the surface when I thought about how much he¡¯d worried about me. Seeing my troubled expression, he said, ¡°But our story didn¡¯t end that way, so there¡¯s no reason for you to look so distraught. I found you and we¡¯re together now. Need I remind you that I¡¯m yours now? Body, mind, and soul, all of me belongs to you, and you are free to do with me as you please.¡±

    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t it be the other way around? Aren¡¯t you supposed to be reminding me that I¡¯m yours?¡± I teased him, forgetting my momentary melancholy after hearing his words.

    ¡°Oh yes, you¡¯re all mine,¡± he laughed, ¡°but you looked like you needed a reminder that every ounce of my being belongs to you now.¡±

    ¡°Does it now? So you''re mine and I can do whatever I want with you?¡± I asked in a deliberately flirtatious tone. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into him. My heart was pounding in my chest from the thrill of being so direct. There was something about that word, mine, that made me more confident.

    ¡°Yes, Falyn, whatever you want,¡± Andrian purred, wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing our bodies together. ¡°I belong to you now. But don¡¯t forget you belong to me too.¡±

    ¡°How could I ever forget?¡± I asked him, drawing him in for another kiss.

    The party raged on around us, but all I was aware of were his lips against mine, his hands lightly massaging the small of my back, and his tongue that so greedily entwined with my own.

    ¡°Do you think it''s time for us to go back to the temple?¡± Andrian asked in a seemingly innocent tone, breaking our kiss.

    ¡°I... I think it is,¡± I replied breathlessly. ¡°Shall we say goodnight to the others?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯ll be necessary. Let¡¯s go find the carriage and have the driver take us back. I doubt anyone will even notice we¡¯ve left.¡±

    "Then let''s get some wine to take with us," I suggested, feeling like I might need a little more alcohol to calm my nerves on the way.

    Andrian pressed his lips to mine again and whispered in my ear, ¡°Whatever my mate desires.¡±

    We went back to the tables and grabbed a couple bottles of wine for the road. As Andrian had said, no one seemed to notice us as we slipped out of our own joining celebration, and soon we were back in the carriage and on our way to the temple.

    We opened one of the bottles on the way, passing it back and forth, and drinking straight from the bottle. Other than the sounds of the horses hooves clacking on the road, we rode in silence, enjoying the wine and the simple pleasure of being close to each other. However, under my calm and quiet facade, butterflies rampaged inside my stomach.

    We arrived at the temple and climbed out of the carriage. I stumbled a little as I climbed down, feeling the full effect of the alcohol as I tried to stand up. Andrian steadied me and I giggled like a fool as I snuggled into his embrace.

    ¡°I think I¡¯m a little bit drunk,¡± I admitted as my head swam pleasantly from the wine.

    Andrian just chuckled and said, "I think you''re right," and led me through the temple door.

    Inside, we found that the main room of the temple had been converted for us in our absence. The room now had a bed in the center with pillows and blankets on the floor around it. Somewhere, someone had left a pleasant and sweet incense burning, which filled the room with its pungent smoke. Next to the bed was a table with a plate of fruit, a pitcher of water, and some small bottles filled with an unknown liquid.

    The room was lit by candles that were placed on the floor, lining the walls and bathing us in their soft, warm light. There was no one left in the temple but us. Andrian took my hand and led me towards the bed. My heart pounded as I allowed myself to be led. Before I had time to get even more nervous about what was to come, Andrian pulled me into his embrace. When our lips met, it was as if a floodgate had opened. Reason and rationality disappeared as lips, tongues, and teeth collided in a frenzy and we fell onto the bed.

 Chapter Forty Five

    The air in the temple was warm enough that I felt no chills as my robe was removed from my torso. Hot hands touched my stomach and chest, eliciting gasps and moans whenever I could gasp enough air to make sounds at all. I couldn¡¯t get enough of the feeling of Andrian¡¯s mouth against mine, and I found myself struggling to breathe as I demanded more and more from the man in my arms.

    Our tongues entwined as I tugged at his robe, pulling it down from his shoulders. When I finally pulled away from his lips, I immediately sank my teeth into his shoulder, hard enough to leave a lasting mark, but not quite enough to draw blood. Mine.

    As I bit into him, I felt him shudder and grow still against me. Teeth still embedded in his skin, I caressed his back and shoulders, feeling his heart pound through his chest into mine. My mind sobered a bit as we leaned against each other, skin to skin, breathing heavily and gently stroking every bare inch of skin we could touch.

    Eventually, I released my jaw, freeing his tender flesh. His skin was clearly marked with the shape of my teeth, red and angry. I gently licked the indents I¡¯d left behind and Andrian shivered, goosebumps rising up all the way down his back. I followed the trail with my fingers, from the nape of his neck to the base of his spine and I heard him draw a ragged breath.

    He pulled back a little, leaving me gazing into his amber eyes that almost seemed to glow in the candlelight. I could see both his desire and his uncertainty in those eyes. I wondered if mine reflected the same. There was no question of what I wanted. In that moment, I knew, more than anything, I wanted this man. I wanted to connect with him, to hold him, to make him mine. But still, I was uncertain. Could I? Could we?

    We lay side by side on the bed, staring into each other¡¯s eyes, both of us searching for answers to unasked questions.

    ¡°I-is it really okay?¡± I asked, breaking the silence.

    ¡°Is what okay?¡± Andrian responded in a tentative voice.

    I blushed and averted my gaze. Summoning my courage, I answered, ¡°Before, you said ¡®whatever I want.¡¯ Is that really okay?¡±

    ¡°Falyn, my Falyn,¡± he whispered softly to me, and I carefully looked back in his direction. His expression was soft and he assured me, ¡°Of course it¡¯s okay. I know how hard you''ve been trying and what we have now is more than enough. We don¡¯t have to¨C¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant!¡± I interrupted before I clamped my mouth shut, too embarrassed to continue. Andrian looked confused for a moment, but then he seemed to realize what I was thinking. The uncertainty vanished from his eyes, leaving nothing but his desire.

    ¡°Then you¡¯ll have to show me what you meant, won¡¯t you?¡± Andrian asked with a playful smile. ¡°I¡¯m okay with anything.¡±

    Emboldened by his words, I gently pushed him down and rolled on top of him. Holding myself up with my arms on either side, I looked down and confirmed, ¡°Anything?¡±

    He responded by grabbing me by the neck so he could pull me down and devour my lips. I responded in kind, trying to taste every inch of his mouth with my tongue until it became unclear who was devouring whom. I ran my hands down his leanly muscled chest, grazing the sides without making proper contact with the hardened nubs that begged for my attention. The hand on my neck clenched everytime I skipped over those more sensitive spots.

    I pushed back against Andrian¡¯s hand and he released my neck, freeing me from his ravenous kisses. As soon as I regained my freedom back, I bit into his neck. I didn¡¯t bite as hard as before but I nipped and sucked until there was a clear red mark that I could tell would take at least a few days to fade. The teeth marks on his shoulder looked inflamed and showed signs of bruising. I felt a faint sense of guilt that I¡¯d injured him, but it was overwhelmed by the thrill of seeing my mark on him.

    As I left more marks all over his neck and chest, Andrian¡¯s breathing grew heavier and he kept making small noises when I used my teeth or when I¡¯d pause to breathe over his still untouched nipples. It became a game for me, trying to elicit new and different noises out of him. We¡¯d touched each other more than enough to know each other¡¯s sensitive spots, but this was the first time I¡¯d taken the lead since that first night in Shelfort. Was this how he normally felt? This powerful feeling that came from surrendering yourself to the pleasure of your lover?

    The memories of every caress I¡¯d received from him guided me as I finally gave some attention to one of the stiffened tips I''d been deliberately ignoring until now. I swirled my tongue around the taut surrounding skin and grazed my teeth across the tip.

    ¡°Ahh!¡± Andrian let out an unmuffled cry as he gasped and writhed at the sensations. Despite his uneven breathing, he still managed to laugh softly as he said, ¡°I see you''ve been paying attention.¡±

    Thinking of how I was using his own techniques to torment him, I gave him a coquettish smile and asked, ¡°Am I a good student?¡±

    ¡°Very good,¡± he answered, ¡°although I do have one suggestion for improvement.¡±

    ¡°Oh you do?¡± I teased, as I continued to touch his chest and run my fingers over his stomach.

    ¡°Yes, I do,¡± he affirmed with a mischievous smile, grabbing one of my hands and pulling it downwards. ¡°Here,¡± he instructed and placed my hand on his already erect length. ¡°You should touch here too.¡± He proceeded to guide my hand up and down in a stroking motion.

    Letting him do as he pleased with my hand, I brought my lips to his untouched nipple and gently pulled it into my mouth. After giving it my full attention, I began to move lower, grazing his ribcage with my teeth and gently biting into his stomach. I trailed my tongue over the waistband of his pants and continued to slowly rub his length, even after his own hand had fallen away.

    Mentally preparing myself, I tugged at his waistband and pulled his pants off, freeing his lower body and tossing the discarded garment into the corner. I¡¯d tried it once before, taking him into my mouth, but it had ended in near disaster when I panicked and pushed him away. Since then, I¡¯d only ever used my hands. Andrian, on the other hand, had no qualms about taking me deep into his throat, even letting me grip onto his head when I lost control. He seemed to enjoy doing it as well. I wondered if I''d like it now too, the feeling of taking him into my mouth and swallowing him down.

    I grasped his shaft with one hand and cautiously ran my tongue over the tip. A salty taste spread over my palate and Andrian made an indecipherable noise at the contact. I wanted to hear more of those noises. Throwing caution away, I opened my lips and took him into my mouth, sliding my tongue along the underside of the head.

    ¡°Hah,¡± Andrian gasped, ¡°Ugh, Falyn¡­¡± I felt his body stiffen slightly. A quick glance told me he was gripping on to the bedsheets with his hands, making sure he didn¡¯t do anything that might startle me. Even in the midst of everything we were doing, somehow he still managed to think about my comfort. I felt a pleasant, sticky feeling welling up in my heart.

    Slowly, I started bobbing my head up and down, taking only the tip into my mouth, my hand still gently stroking the rest of his length. I carefully watched his reactions as I moved to figure out what he liked. As I grew more confident, I began to take more of his length into my mouth, swallowing him down a little bit at a time. Thinking I could handle it, I pushed my head down further and attempted to take him into my throat¨C and had to immediately fall back as I started gagging and coughing, my body determined to reject the foreign object.

    ¡°Woah, Falyn, are you alright?¡± Andrian''s voice was full of concern as he sprung up to check on me.

    ¡°I''m¨Cugh¨CI''m fine,¡± I assured him, ¡°just give me a moment.¡±

    ¡°You''ve done enough already,¡± he told me, ¡°you don¡¯t need to force yourself.¡±

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    ¡°Did it look like I was forcing myself?¡± I asked, worried that he had misunderstood my reaction. I felt my face go red as I admitted, ¡°I just went a little too fast and choked myself a bit¡­ but I liked it too.¡± That last part was barely audible. I wanted to look away as I told him, but I couldn¡¯t let myself turn away from his gaze.

    Andrian swallowed loudly and asked, ¡°You did?¡± I could see the fear written across his face. Fear of being rejected, of being pushed away again. In that moment, all that mattered was chasing that fear away.

    ¡°I did,¡± I answered him honestly, struggling to ignore how embarrassed I felt to say it out loud. ¡°I liked it a lot and I want to keep going... Can I?¡±

    ¡°You can, but¡­¡± This time it was Andrian¡¯s turn to turn red. Not his face, but the tips of his ears, which burned a bright shade of crimson, barely visible in the dim light of the candles. He reached over to the table and picked up one of the small bottles sitting there. He placed the bottle in my hand and said, ¡°If you want to go any further, you¡¯ll be needing this.¡±

    I looked at the bottle in my hand with a puzzled expression and asked, ¡°What is it?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a scented oil,¡± he explained as the red from his ears slowly crept down to his neck. My mind made a connection and my face grew even hotter. I suddenly felt nervous. I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do next. I stared down at the bottle in my hand. I knew what the end would look like, but I¡¯d never considered how we¡¯d get there.

    ¡°I see,¡± I said quietly, wondering if I should just admit that I didn¡¯t know what to do. Even though it was probably obvious, it was hard to actually say it.

    Andrian chuckled as if he understood my thoughts. He took the bottle from my hand and opened it, pouring some of the liquid into the palm of his hand, and using it to coat one of my fingers. He leaned in close and spoke softly into my ear, ¡°You start with one.¡±

    Understanding his meaning, I brought my hand down and carefully traced my finger over the tight opening in the back. Andrian¡¯s breathing sounded a little rough, but I followed his instructions and began to push my slick index finger inside. Thanks to the oil, I was able to slide in without any friction, but his body felt like it was resisting the intrusion.

    ¡°Keep going,¡± he instructed, between increasingly ragged breaths, ¡°all the way.¡± I took him at his word and continued pressing inwards until he had taken in my entire finger. I saw neither pleasure nor pain on his face, but he did look a little bit uncomfortable.

    ¡°Is it okay?¡± I asked. ¡°Should I take it out?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay, but get some more of the oil before you continue.¡± His voice sounded a little strained, so I hastily withdrew my finger from inside. Obeying his instructions, I took the proffered bottle, poured a generous amount of the oil into my hand, and coated my finger with it.

    I spread the excess over the puckered skin of his entrance, then slowly began to slide my finger back in. There was less resistance this time and I was able to push it in all the way to my knuckle with surprising ease. I moved my finger a little, testing the hot, tight space it was buried in.

    ¡°Good,¡± he whispered, ¡°keep moving it like that.¡± His voice made me shiver in anticipation of what was to come.

    One finger soon became two, as Andrian continued to guide my hand with his whispered instructions. My hand began to move on its own, fingers sliding in and out, twisting and pressing outward. As I continued, I found a spot with a different, somewhat smoother texture. Whenever I grazed that spot, Andrian¡¯s entire body shuddered and his enduring erection would twitch in response. It took me a while to figure out the angle, but once I knew its location, I rubbed it repeatedly with crooked fingers.

    ¡°Hah, there, hnng, good,¡± Andrian murmured between unintelligible sounds, which assured me that I was doing it right.

    I kissed a trail from his neck, down his chest, to his stomach. The head of his penis had a clear liquid beginning to drip from its tip and I lapped it up before recapturing him inside my mouth. I sucked and licked around the head before making a second attempt to take him deeper into my throat. Remembering where I¡¯d gone wrong before, I moved slowly, incredibly slowly, and willed myself to relax. Like I was swallowing a pill, I opened my throat and he slipped past the gagging point. A strange suffocating sensation started welling up, but it subsided as I figured out how to breathe around him through my nose.

    We both remained still for a moment before I tested the waters by moving my head a little; up and down, with careful small movements. The feeling of his length tickling the back of my throat made me feel like I was going crazy and I started moving my fingers inside him once more. Andrian was quickly reduced to only making unintelligible sounds, which only goaded me further as both the movements of my head and hands increased.

    Finally losing control of himself, Andrian let out a roar and suddenly grabbed onto my head with both hands. One of his hands tangled itself in the hair on the back of my head, while the other caressed my cheek. Remembering the moments when I¡¯d grabbed onto his head in the throes of pleasure, I let go of my inhibitions and allowed him to take complete control of my movements.

    Whenever he pressed my head down and grazed the depths of my throat, my lower half twitched with excitement, straining against my pants. It was harder to breathe when I wasn¡¯t in control but somehow I managed to adjust, gasping in just enough air when he released the pressure. I added a third finger and found that spot inside of him again, relentlessly pressing into it until Andrian let out an inarticulate cry. I felt warm liquid spurting into the back of my throat, so far down that I couldn¡¯t even taste it. The space around my fingers tightened and pulsed as he released his seed.

    He held onto my head for another moment before his hands fell away and I came up gasping for air. Andrian lay on the bed languidly, breathing heavily and looking quite content. He waited for me to catch my breath before sealing my mouth with his, taking my breath away once more. As he devoured my lips, he started pulling at the pants that still covered my lower half, stripping them off of me without breaking the kiss.

    After waiting so long, I moaned into his mouth the moment his hand grabbed onto my aching erection. He ate my moans as I lost myself in the pleasure of his hand caressing my hard length. Slowly, painfully slowly, his firm grip moved up and down, and my moans degraded into whimpers as he teased me. Eventually, he pulled his hand away and reached for the bottle of oil that still lay next to us on the bed. He poured the bottle¡¯s contents into his hand and grabbed onto me again, covering me from root to tip in the slick liquid.

    His hand guided me lower until I was pressed against the opening that had contained my fingers previously, sliding it back and forth against the tight entrance. He leaned in close and whispered into my ear, ¡°Is this what you want?¡±

    ¡°Mmmm, yes, Andri, please,¡± I pleaded back to him, applying a little bit of pressure to his back hole.

    ¡°Good¡­ nice and slow,¡± he coaxed me, shifting his hips to accommodate me.

    I pushed a little harder and felt his body tense around me as my tip began its slow entrance into him. The rounded head of my penis finally passed through the tight entrance and the straining muscles clamped down on my shaft. Even with just the tip inside, I felt a pleasure more intense than any I¡¯d felt before, and I had to pause for a moment to collect myself. I took a deep breath as I accepted the almost painful tightness of being inside him.

    Andrian shifted his hips again, giving me better access, and I began to slowly push the rest of my length into him. He groaned into my shoulder and said, ¡°Good boy, keep going.¡±

    A shiver ran down my spine and I pushed the rest of the way in. We both gasped as I pressed my body against his, fully sheathed inside of him. We stayed like that for a moment, as close as we could ever be, maintaining eye contact as our hearts pounded in time.

    ¡°I-is it alright?¡± I finally asked.

    Knowing what I meant, Andrian said, ¡°It¡¯s alright. You can move whenever you¡¯re ready.¡±

    I shifted my hips back, pulling halfway out before pushing back in. It felt so good that it didn¡¯t feel real anymore. I began thrusting, slowly at first, but quickly building into more confident, faster movements that made my toes tingle from the pleasure of it. Andrian grabbed onto me and wrapped his legs around me, goading me into moving faster, harder. Remembering the location of the spot my fingers had teased so relentlessly, I aimed my thrusts at an angle I thought would hit it.

    ¡°Mmm Falyn, there, right there, ahhh, so good,¡± Andrian¡¯s deep moans told me I¡¯d found the right spot. Pressed between our stomachs, he¡¯d already become hard again. I grabbed his length and began stroking it in time with my thrusts. It felt so good that I was quickly approaching my limit, and I wanted him to find his second release before I had mine.

    ¡°Hnng, Andri¡­ I-I¡¯m gonna,¡± I wanted to tell him I was close, but I could only gasp out a couple words.

    ¡°Mmm, me too,¡± Andrian groaned, ¡°just a bit more. Harder, harder!¡±

    At his encouragement, I let go of my last vestige of restraint and pounded into him full force. For a time, only our gasping breaths and the sound of flesh meeting flesh could be heard. My hand moved frantically, and just as I was reaching my peak, I felt Andrian explode all over my hand. When he came the second time, his insides clenched around me, so hot, so tight, and I couldn''t hold out any longer. I gave a few final uncontrolled thrusts, and released my passion inside of him. For a moment the whole world went white, as I felt the intense climax in every fiber of my being.

    I fell into his arms, breathless and euphoric. He held me against his chest and our sweat slicked bodies felt like they were stuck together. I pulled out long after I¡¯d already grown soft, not wanting to break our connection until I absolutely had to. We lay there like that for a long time, listening to the sound of each other¡¯s heartbeats, savoring the closeness we now shared. My partner. My mate. Mine.

 Chapter Forty Six

    The next morning I awoke before Andrian and lay in the temple bed watching him sleep. Memories of the night before flooded my mind, leaving me feeling embarrassed, fulfilled, and somehow hungry for more. For the first time, I truly understood how mistaken I had been about what happens between two lovers in the bedroom. I had always associated being penetrated with being victimized, but last night there had been no victims. In fact, Andrian was as powerful and amazing beneath me as he was when he fought monsters. It wasn''t the act itself that created victims, but the intentions of those involved, right?I hoped that one day I would be able to overcome my past enough to give myself to him as he had given himself to me.

    As I watched his chest rise and fall with each breath, I admired the undeniable beauty of his peaceful sleeping face. His sculpted jaw, kissable lips, and fine cheekbones were surrounded by a sea of rarely seen, loose, flowing auburn hair. Andrian almost always kept his hair in a braid or bun and had only worn it down for the joining ceremony. This hair, which flowed down his back in a cascade of waves, was highly impractical for battle or training. A red sheen of stubble could be seen in the light of the morning sun, decorating his cheeks and jaw. I brushed my hand across his cheek, and the tiny, coarse hairs lightly scratched my skin.

    Suddenly, I was looking into Andrian¡¯s lovely amber eyes, which had been previously hidden from view. Those eyes instantly softened when they found mine. He nuzzled my hand that was still next to his cheek, frozen mid motion in my surprise at being caught. It wasn¡¯t that I¡¯d done something wrong, but it was embarrassing to have him catch me staring at him and stroking his face. My cheeks grew hot but I didn''t even consider pulling my hand away.

    ¡°Good morning, my Falyn,¡± he murmured as he scratched my palm with his cheek.

    ¡°Good morning, my Andri,¡± I replied softly, my face immediately breaking into a smile at his warm greeting. I had already forgotten what I was feeling embarrassed about, seeing his tender expression and the joy in his eyes.

    ¡°Mmm¡­¡± He trapped my hand with his own and pressed it against his cheek, making a happy sounding noise. ¡°My Falyn, my bonded one, my joined mate. Since the very first moment I discovered what love was, you were the one and only love in my heart.¡±

    A memory came to me and I suddenly laughed, despite Andrian¡¯s loving words. When I saw his confused expression, I explained, ¡°For some reason, what you just said reminded me of something. Back when we were first reunited, I don¡¯t think I ever told you this, but before you told me about the bonding, I convinced myself that you already had a mate waiting for you back home.¡±

    ¡°You did?!¡± Andrian asked loudly, looking more rather than less confused. ¡°But¡­ how did you even come up with that?¡±

    ¡°Well, because I knew you were hiding something and I was pretty sure it was regarding your mate,¡± I laughed, ¡°I completely misunderstood and thought you were avoiding the subject so I wouldn¡¯t have to feel guilty. And it wasn''t like I could just ask you about it.¡±

    Andrian looked utterly bewildered before roaring with laughter, ¡°That might be the most ridiculous thing I¡¯ve ever heard you say. If I had a mate, why would I offer to join with you in the first place? I could have just let you go with Ras if that were the case.¡±

    ¡°It might seem as simple as that now, but it wasn¡¯t simple then, at least not for me,¡± I told him, memories of the anxiety I¡¯d felt darkening my mood a bit. ¡°Before that day, all I knew was that my choice was to be married to a stranger or die, and I had no way of knowing if that stranger would be just as bad as the people I was finally getting away from. I know now that Rastari isn''t like that at all, but I had no way of knowing that then.¡± I paused for a moment before adding, ¡°Plus, he''s a male. I know that sounds like a ridiculous concern, given our current situation, but¨C¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not ridiculous at all,¡± Andrian interrupted, ¡°even if your homeland wasn¡¯t so strict about only joining males with females, I know enough about what you''ve been through to understand why you felt that way. I''m just glad that you were willing to be with me in spite of all that."

    ¡°Andri, your being there that day¡­ It was a miracle for me. But the idea that you would consider me your mate never crossed my mind.¡± It was true. It seemed far more plausible at that time that he would have someone else, not me, who was most important to him. It was hard to believe that it had only been about a moon cycle since we were reunited. Was it really only a few weeks since we had departed Vrayna? It felt like a lifetime ago. Long enough that I could find the humor in it now.

    ¡°So, were you jealous of my imaginary mate then?¡± he suddenly asked with a teasing grin. It seemed to me that he was secretly enjoying this.

    I couldn¡¯t help but smile alongside him as I admitted, ¡°Yes, I think I was. Although I didn''t know it at the time. At first, I didn¡¯t really understand what agreeing to marry you actually meant. I just knew that you were my best option and that you made me feel safe. There was more to it than just that, of course, but those were the feelings that were in the forefront of my mind. I just assumed that you wanted to help me because of our history, not because you wanted to be with me. How could I ever think that when I didn''t believe I was worthy of love at all? But the way I felt about you having a mate, it wasn¡¯t just guilt. Even if I didn''t realize it right away, I¡¯ve wanted you to be mine from the first time you held me in your arms.¡±

    ¡°Oh, these arms right here?¡± he asked, pulling me into a tight embrace. A little too tight, actually. And he¡¯d pinned my arms as well.

    Realizing I¡¯d been trapped, I struggled to escape his rough, playful hug, but he laughed and refused to let go. The slight melancholy I¡¯d felt disappeared as the embrace turned into a gentle grapple and I began fighting back in earnest. We rolled around on the bed, laughing as I struggled to free myself, until we lost our balance and fell off the bed onto the cold, hard, stone floor.

    Taking our rough landing on the temple floor as a sign, we started getting ready to leave. When Andrian got up and I could see him clearly, I felt somewhat abashed. A feeling that only increased when I looked down at my own condition. Angry looking red marks decorated both our bodies, some with the clear indentation of teeth, and I was shocked to see I¡¯d left scratch marks on Andrian¡¯s back at some point as well. However, the stinging sensation on my own back told me that I probably had matching marks, which made me feel a little better.

    Last night, after lying on the bed together for a while, we¡¯d gone upstairs to the large bathing area to soak in the hot water pool. With the line already crossed, it only felt natural to continue touching each other and quickly replenished our spent desire. Beginning again in the bathing area and continuing once we''d returned to the bed, we didn''t sleep until both our staminas were completely exhausted. As I lay there next to him and fell asleep, I had felt a sense of warmth and fulfillment that went beyond anything I could have imagined. In his arms, I''d put to rest some of the fears that haunted me. An act that I''d only thought of as terrifying before, was now something that I could think of with anticipation and joy. I felt like I was one step further from the nightmares that haunted me.

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

    By the time we left the temple, the city was already open for business. The merchants had opened their doors, the streets were full of beastmen, and the late morning sun was beating down on us from above. The smell of spices and cooking filled the air and I was amazed that we hadn''t noticed the noise when we were still inside.

    Now that the ceremony was over, we had to stick around for a few days in case the council needed us for anything, but we were otherwise free to do as we pleased. So, ee¡¯d decided to spend the day exploring the areas nearest to the city center, and go on a food tour of the city. I was excited to try the food stalls and cafes that littered the endless streets. Andrian also suggested that we go to the clothing stores, since the small collection of clothes I¡¯d brought with me was getting a little tight. Constant access to so much good food had increased my weight quite a bit, filling out my cheeks and helping me gain a small amount of much desired muscle. When I looked in the mirror, I almost didn''t recognize myself.

    Andrian was already talking about browsing other types of stores as well, so I insisted we eat before we shopped and dragged him towards the first food stall I saw. We broke our fast with spicy, fire grilled bird meat, wrapped in flatbread with fresh tomatoes and a sharp cheese. After such intense activities the night before, my stomach growled as soon as I caught the scent of the grilled meat, and the wrap was gone in a few bites. Since we wanted to try as many stalls as possible, we didn¡¯t order any more, despite the wraps doing little to sate our hunger.

    We chose another stall to eat from before we started looking at the shops, one that offered a special type of flatbread, which was extra light and fluffy, filled with whipped cream and fruit. The stall owner told us there were nuts ground into the bread dough and the cream was sweetened with honey before being whipped. He drizzled extra honey on top and told us to eat carefully so as not to get it all over our clothes. I saw some people standing off to the side, eating their cream breads in a position that looked like they were bowing to a Lord, with whipped cream falling to the ground below them. We copied their postures and managed to eat the sticky cream bread without ruining our clothes.

    Throughout the day, we visited numerous clothing stores, and Andrian insisted on buying me a wardrobe large enough to please a Vraynian noble. The simple designs and fabrics, emphasizing comfort over luxury, were practical but still appealing to the eye. All of our purchases would be dropped off at the inn by their delivery cart, so we didn¡¯t have to carry everything around with us. From our purchases at the first store, I chose an outfit that I could wear for the day; a simple set of dark brown, loose fitting pants, a light blue linen shirt, and a pair of sturdy sandals that suited the climate well. The bulk of what we purchased was warmer clothing that would be more suited to the climate in the west.

    I was a little disheartened that I had no money of my own, since I wanted to buy things for Andrian as well, but he insisted that such things didn¡¯t matter. Promising myself that I would make it up to him when I started making a wage at the apothecary, I started picking clothes I liked for him as well. Anything I chose for him, he immediately purchased and had sent back to the inn with the selections he¡¯d picked for me.

    We browsed stores that offered various wares for the home, everything from cooking utensils to furniture, but Andrian said it was better to wait until we were back in the lion village to buy household items, as they would be cumbersome to travel with. The beast army was going to provide us with a townhouse to live in as part of Andrian¡¯s new position in the village, but we would still need to furnish the house ourselves. He said that when the time came, I could furnish and fill the house as I pleased. I was a little nervous about having the choice be left to me, since I knew nothing about what a house needs, but Andrian assured me he''d make sure we didn''t miss anything. He would teach me how to do all the things that the servants had done for me before. Some of it, I''d already learned during our travels, and thus far it had been easy to pick up.

    We shopped and ate until the sun made its way across the sky and the afternoon began to fade. After visiting numerous stalls and cafes, my stomach felt like it was about to burst from all the delicious food and drinks I''d consumed. My favorite was a small cafe that made coffee drinks that consisted of a thick and rich coffee mixed with sweet cream and poured over ice cubes. We each had two at the cafe and then asked for more to take with us when we left.

    When we arrived back at the inn, the sun hadn''t yet begun to set, and we found Uncle Alek as he was also returning for the night. The three of us went to the inn¡¯s restaurant to have dinner together. I didn¡¯t have much of an appetite after our day of food touring the city, but I couldn¡¯t say no after he said he wanted to spend some time with ¡®his boys¡¯. Uncle Alek seemed determined that I was to be his son now, and where I still couldn''t call him ''dad'' comfortably, it meant a lot that he was working so hard to make me feel like a part of his family. I wondered what life could have been like if my father had been this kind of man instead.

    Since neither of us had any real interest in eating, Andrian and I both ordered a bowl of soup and nothing else. Uncle Alek didn¡¯t mind and ordered enough food for all of us, then ate it all himself. Aside from coming in to give some official greetings to his superiors in the dome, he¡¯d been touring the city as well, but hadn¡¯t thought to stop for a proper meal. As a ranger, Uncle Alek led a reclusive existence, so he was taking in as much of the city that he could before it was time to go back. He complained quite a bit about the crowds, the smells, and all the noise, but I could tell he¡¯d had a good time. We said our goodnights and agreed to spend the following day out together.

    With Andrian and Uncle Alek, the next few days were filled with exploring, shopping, and lots of delicious food. On the fourth day, there was a message waiting for us when we returned to the inn, informing us that we were free to depart for the lion village and thanking us for our time. We decided to set out immediately the next day, using our time that evening to pack and say our goodbyes to our friends who remained in the city. Rastari said he''d see us in a few months'' time, when we were to depart for the Vraynian marriage ceremony.

    For the trip back, we purchased a cart and donkey to carry all of our newly purchased clothing, and linens. We had accumulated far too much to carry on horseback, so it was a necessary expense. Uncle Alek had to return to his forest home, as he had already been gone for too long, and would join us on our travels this time. He was grateful for the cart as well, having done a fair bit of shopping for himself while we were touring the city.

    The trip back was peaceful when I compared it to our encounter with the Devourers on the way to the trading city. No monsters attacked in the desert, and the ones we encountered when we were back in the jungle were easily dealt with. Andrian and I would get up for the second watch each night while the moon was still shining, and drank coffee made over the fire before beginning my morning training. Some mornings, I questioned if my mate had been possessed by a sadistic demon, as he made me stretch, strain, and overwork my muscles, but I couldn¡¯t deny the results. Since he was so hard on me each morning, he would massage my aching muscles every night in penance. It was enough that I could forgive him for his brutal tactics.

    We arrived in the lion village without fanfare and found the street where our townhouse was located. Following the directions we¡¯d been given, we discovered our new home, nestled in the midst of other similar structures. Each unit was two stories high, with an upper and lower living area. We were on the bottom floor, which meant we entered from the street and had access to a tiny yard in the front. Our neighbors had a similar sized yard in the back with stairs leading up to their door. In every direction you looked, you''d see more rows of the exact same design.

    The whole structure was made out of a pale, blond wood, and the inside was covered from floor to ceiling in the same material. With a simple kitchen, a small but open living area, and a bedroom with a bathing room attached, it was perfect for the two of us to share. We unloaded the cart and said our goodbyes to Uncle Alek, who couldn¡¯t even spend the night with us in his hurry to get back. His leave ended in two days and there was already no way he could make it in that time. He''d already admitted that he should have left a couple days before us, but didn''t want to miss out on a rare opportunity to spend time together.

    After he''d left, our little house was completely empty, other than the two of us and our luggage. There were a couple curtainless windows that opened up to look at the houses around us, and a fire stove and ice box in the kitchen, fueled by an unknown magic source. It was simple and unadorned. It was home.

 Chapter Forty Seven

    Upon first moving into our new home, it was nothing more than an empty space with a roof that we were allowed to occupy. Bare windows, no furniture, and nothing to make it feel like it was ours. During the first couple weeks that we lived there, as we got used to our new positions in the village, we slowly turned the space into our home. Thanks to our purchases in the trading city, we were able to hang curtains over the windows immediately, and we started spending our afternoons and free days shopping for what we needed, one item at a time.

    Because of our shared enthusiasm for food, getting the kitchen stocked for cooking was our first priority. After a month of sleeping on the ground in a tent, our simple pile of blankets on the floor felt like more than enough, but we wanted to be able to cook food right away. Plates, cups, and bowls were the first things we bought for our kitchen, along with a cooking pot and a grill for the fire. After that, we bought ladles, spoons, and spatulas, and slowly built from there until we had a kitchen worthy of a tavern. Andrian started teaching me how to cook, which went a lot better than I¡¯d expected. I didn¡¯t realize it until I was doing it again, but I¡¯d already learned quite a bit from Luxania and Estra during our travels. It took less than a week before I was able to prepare meals by myself on the nights that Andrian arrived home after me.

    After the kitchen came the living area, and then finally our bedroom. It was a lot of work, but the end result made me feel like I had a real home for the first time in ten years. It was a bittersweet feeling. I was happy and grateful for the life I had with Andrian, but I couldn¡¯t help but think about the past. Sometimes, I thought of my father''s home, beautiful and elegant, filled with everything one could ever need, but completely bereft of things like compassion and love. Other times, I thought of my mother and how much I missed her. If she were still alive, I¡¯d like to have thought that she would be happy to see the life the two of us were slowly building.

    Andrian¡¯s new position in the village came as a surprise to both of us. As a general in the beast army, I¡¯d assumed he''d be given a similar role in the village, leading the village guard or training the new recruits. However, it seemed that the marshal generals had other ideas about how he could be useful. In the section of the village that was dedicated to the army¡¯s needs, among the offices, barracks, and training grounds, there was also a school for parentless cubs to be raised into soldiers. It was akin to an orphanage, but their situation was much better than the orphans of Vrayna. They lived in a group home that was amply staffed and had plenty of space, and they never had to go without food or warmth. When they gained a human form, they were given the choice of an apprenticeship or attending the army school to become soldiers that fought against the monsters of the wildlands. Andrian was put in charge of that school. Thankfully, he seemed to have a talent with the kids and took to his new role immediately.

    As for me, once we''d had a few days to settle in, I sought out Adelia at her apothecary shop. She welcomed me with open arms and immediately put me to work. When I arrived at her shop in the morning, she would patiently demonstrate how to make a certain potion that she was low on in the shop. Then she would instruct me as I tried it and observe my work until she was satisfied with the results. Once my work was approved, she¡¯d have me make the same potion over and over again until it was time to close, simultaneously honing my skills and filling her shelves.

    I worked in a back room, away from the front of the shop and her visiting clientele. Adelia said it was better if no one saw me working for her until after they¡¯d been using my potions for a while. It was well known in the Beastlands that humans had no magic ability, so she thought it would be best if I proved myself anonymously first. She wanted to let my potions speak for themselves so there was no room for complaints or objections. I understood her concern, even if she didn¡¯t say it out loud; she didn¡¯t want to lose her client base by revealing her human apprentice too soon. For my part, I didn¡¯t mind it at all. I didn''t want her to lose business because of me either.

    Where the Beastlands certainly weren¡¯t as forthright about it as humans, they undoubtedly had a natural bias against humans in general. This was very obvious to me, who had experienced the same treatment from the servants in my father¡¯s home. No one meant me any actual harm, at least I didn''t think they did, but they made no effort to conceal the fact that I was, if not entirely unwelcome, unworthy of their care or attention. Most treated me with polite disinterest, but some had expressed open hostility and told me to go back where I belonged. Andrian got into more than one argument over such comments. I wanted to just ignore it, but he couldn¡¯t let it go.

    Thankfully, not all of the beastmen I encountered felt that way. The people who lived above us took no issue with my humanity and were wonderful to us from the beginning. They were an elderly couple who looked like they could be as old as the borderland, but were filled with a youthful energy that belied their ages. Both were females, a bear and a fox, and were bonded and joined mates, just like Andrian and I.

    ¡°Oh sweetie, look, a human!¡± Those were the words I heard on our second morning in our home. Dorie and Malena came tottering over to me in the yard and created a fuss, commenting on how cute humans were and asking me questions much faster than I could answer them. Their bodies moved slowly, but their minds moved too fast. When Andrian came looking for me almost half a movement later, I was still cornered by the two old ladies, who were just delighted to know that a young couple had moved in below them.

    That evening they brought us vegetables from their garden and invited us up to their home for dinner. They were both fantastic cooks and had made way too much. They told us we could take the leftovers home with us, since we hadn''t set up our kitchen yet. While we ate, we told them about how we''d met and how we ended up living below them, and by the end of the meal, they were insisting we call them Auntie Dorie and Granny Malena. Dorie claimed she was ¡®too young at heart¡¯ to be called a granny, but Malena wore the title of ¡®Granny¡¯ with the pride of an elder. Their unwavering affection for each other after such a long period of time warmed my heart.

    Thus began a pleasant and cooperative relationship with our upstairs neighbors. They would come by every few days with armfuls of fresh vegetables and request our help with the more physically demanding of their household chores. In exchange for the free food, we were happy to oblige, weeding their garden and chopping their wood whenever requested.

    Our first month in the village felt like it flew by. We learned our new jobs, spent time with the ladies upstairs, and worked hard to make our new house into a home. On our day off together, we would go shopping in the village and I slowly learned how to navigate the busy, confusing streets. Andrian¡¯s friends weren¡¯t shy about stopping by either, dragging us out to a local tavern or into the woods for a night of drinking and fun. It didn¡¯t take long for them to become more than just ¡®Andrian¡¯s friends¡¯ to me. They were our friends, my friends.

    By the second month, we had settled into our home and settled into our new life. With the house fully set up, I started having more time on my hands. Meanwhile, Andrian began to spend more time at the school, taking care of all of his predecessor''s business. The position had been vacant for only a short time, but there were a lot of loose ends that Andrian had to tie up. At first, I tried to fill my time alone with activity, practicing the moves that Andrian still patiently taught me each morning, or trying to start a garden in the front yard, but it felt hollow. Alone, everything I did felt like I was just going through the motions.

    Once I''d given up on being active around the house, I began to spend my time just sitting in silence, waiting for Andrian to return. I''d force myself to start moving when I saw the afternoon shadows crossing the living room, and when I heard him open the front door, I''d come back to life, forgetting that I¡¯d done nothing but stare at the wall for an entire afternoon.

    However, on the days I went to work with Adelia, it was different. With nothing but Andrian''s presence to define my existence at home, I dove into the work that gave me a sense of purpose. During the time I was toiling away in her back room, I felt motivated and accomplished. I could feel like I was more than just Andrian''s mate; I was Adelia''s apprentice as well.

    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

    But I only went to the apothecary four days out of seven, and some days I was done by lunchtime. But Andrian was at the school six days out of seven and rarely returned before dinner. It was a lot of time to spend alone. Since being active at home hadn''t worked out, I tried going out into the village by myself, but I felt anxious without Andrian¡¯s presence by my side. The forest wasn''t safe to explore alone, not with my current abilities. I wasn''t ready to fight monsters on my own and the thought of doing so was terrifying.

    So I tried to visit the ladies upstairs, but I found it hard to carry on a conversation without Andrian to fill in the blanks. I struggled awkwardly for a while before excusing myself. I couldn''t help but feel like I''d wasted their time. Andrian''s friends came by often in the evenings, when Andrian was home, but they all had jobs to do during the day. Even if they didn''t, the result would have been the same. Uncomfortable silences and the knowledge that I had no personality of my own. It was better not to try.

    I couldn''t leave the house without him. I couldn''t do anything without him. I didn¡¯t even feel like I could be around people without him. But then, he would through the front door and everything would be back to the way it was before he left. When I was with Andrian, I could go anywhere, do anything. It had started to feel like I had two different personalities: the Falyn I was when Andrian was next to me, and the Falyn I was when I was alone. Realizing this only made me feel more isolated.

    I did my best to hide how I felt. For a while, it seemed like it was working. Andrian had no way of knowing how I spent my solitary time, and I always managed to put myself back together before he got home. In the mornings, he would wake me up early and we''d continue my training in our living room. That was often the best part of my day, even when he was being General Andrian and pushing me past my limits, because it was the part of the day where I knew I was the only thing he was thinking about. Now that a couple of moon cycles had passed under his grueling regime, I was practicing with a real sword and ready to test my skills in a sparring match. Andrian had casually suggested that I come by the school to spar with the older students, and I''d enthusiastically agreed. I wanted to see him at work. And it would be one less lonely day at home.

    After training, we would wash up and have breakfast together before Andrian had to go to the school. If I was working at Adelia¡¯s shop that day, he would walk me over before heading off for the day. Otherwise, on the days when Adelia didn¡¯t need me, once Andrian left, it was just me and the four walls that surrounded me. Unable to leave, I would sit in the living room in silence, trying to not to think too much.

    At first it was just that. I would sit in silence for a few movements, trying to keep the darker thoughts at bay, and got myself going again when it was time for Andrian to come home. I was fully aware of the passage of time and simply chose to do nothing about it. But then I started thinking about the past and what might come in the future, and the anxiety began to eat away at me, one dark thought at a time. That was when I started losing time. Memories of the past that I had not yet come to terms with haunted me. I saw Albrecht¡¯s face when I closed my eyes and trembled, recalling the fear and pain I¡¯d experienced at his hands. I remembered all the hurtful things my father had said to me,and wondered anew if he''d been right about me all along. Looking at my pathetic self, his words rang truer than they ever had before. At some point, I¡¯d remember that I was here, not there, and come back to the present.

    It wasn¡¯t until the beginning of the third month that Andrian began to realize that something was wrong. I''d done a very good job of keeping it to myself, making sure that Andrian only ever saw me smiling, but eventually that smile began to fade.

    You really are pathetic. You know that, right?

    It was when I began hearing a voice in my head that my happy mask began to crumble away.

    Falyn, you can¡¯t ignore me forever. I won¡¯t go away just because you pretend I¡¯m not here.

    It sounded like my own voice, but I had no control over what it said.

    ¡°Wh-who are you?¡± I finally asked, after hearing it for multiple days.

    Stupid Falyn. Don''t you already know?

    I knew. How could I not? I''d remembered everything and regained my voice, but I''d only pushed aside the resulting pain aside and left it to fester in the back of my mind. The darkness that had been waiting within had found its opening and it wanted to be heard. I''d thought that moving forward and finding happiness would be enough to silence it, but I also remembered Estra''s warning that my recovery could take years. At the time, I thought he meant unlocking my voice, but maybe it went beyond that. Or maybe I was just too weak. I didn''t want this. Hadn''t I been through enough? Resentment and frustration built up inside me, and I swore I heard the voice laughing.

    I did my best to shut it out, whispering, ¡°I can¡¯t hear you,¡± over and over as my own thoughts turned against me.

    Would you listen if I called you Julien instead? Julien de Ramport, the Duke¡¯s unloved bastard. A mute, a disappointment, someone who deserves to suffer. You can¡¯t hide behind your precious Andri forever. He can¡¯t protect you from what you are.

    ¡°No!¡± I shouted into the empty room. For the moment, it seemed the voice was silenced. The angle of the sun told me that it was already getting late in the day. I hurried to start making dinner and let the voice, which I was now certain I imagined, fade from my conscious thoughts.

    Andrian and I had a nice dinner together that night. I asked Andrian many questions about his work and kept the conversation centered around him. I had nothing to tell him and I loved listening to him talk.

    Eventually, I couldn¡¯t think of anything else to ask him and he managed to inquire, ¡°How was your day at home? What did you do today?¡±

    ¡°Oh, nothing much,¡± I answered as vaguely as possible, ¡°it was just a normal day at home.¡±

    ¡°Was it?¡± he asked with a furrowed brow. He looked upset. Had I said something to upset him?

    ¡°Yes, I just enjoyed having nothing to do for a bit,¡± I replied, hoping he¡¯d let it go at that.

    His frown deepened and he said, ¡°It¡¯s just that you said the exact same thing yesterday. Nothing much. A normal day at home. You''ve said the same things every day for a week, actually. You know, I want to hear about your day too. Isn¡¯t there anything you want to share?¡±

    ¡°I just¡­ relaxed and did some stuff, okay?¡± I was starting to feel defensive. I didn¡¯t want him to know there was something wrong with me. It would just make him worry about me and he didn''t need that burden.

    ¡°Is there something you''re not telling me?¡± Andrian inquired, looking a little hurt. ¡°Honestly, I¡¯m worried about you. You don¡¯t go anywhere and you keep telling me that you did nothing while you were home. You seem fine when we''re together, but I''m afraid you''re pretending for my sake. Do you not feel comfortable talking about it?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± I found myself raising my voice, ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong! I just don¡¯t feel like doing anything. So I sat in the living room, did nothing, and waited for you to come home. Is that what you want to hear?!¡±

    I didn¡¯t know why I was shouting. I wasn¡¯t angry with him. In fact, his concern made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. But I was sad and confused, angry and afraid, and I couldn¡¯t find any other way to express it. Before Andrian could process my reaction, I stormed out of the room and found myself in our front yard, crouched on the ground with my head between my legs. What was wrong with me?

    See, you¡¯re even hurting the one person who actually cares about a waste like you. It¡¯s only a matter of time before he¡¯s sick of dealing with your shit. It¡¯s a good thing you¡¯ve got him trapped by that bond, though. Even if he wanted to, he¡¯ll never be able to leave you. You can destroy him along with yourself.

    ¡°Falyn,¡± I heard Andrian cautiously calling out to me from the front door, ¡°I¡¯m sorry if I upset you. We don¡¯t have to talk about it. I believe you if you say there''s nothing wrong.¡±

    I stood up. ¡°No, it¡¯s my fault. I really don¡¯t know what came over me just now,¡± I said as I walked back to the house. ¡°I¡­ I shouldn¡¯t have acted like that. I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    I was ashamed of myself for the way I''d behaved. It wasn¡¯t Andrian¡¯s fault that I was struggling. He was doing his best for me. I was the one who wasn¡¯t good enough, the one who couldn¡¯t keep myself from falling apart. I apologized to him again, hugging him tightly and telling him I loved him. That night, I went to bed promising myself that I would try harder and do better tomorrow.

 Chapter Forty Eight

    Darkness had fallen as I walked through endless woods. I couldn¡¯t remember what the day was like, but I recalled in vivid detail the blood red of the sunset that cast an ominous shadow over the landscape. I had been walking for hours. My feet ached, sweat dripped down my spine, and even in the darkness, it was blisteringly hot.

    I could hear something whispering from the shadows of the trees. Many things. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was monsters or humans making those noises. Perhaps both. It didn¡¯t really matter. Humans, monsters, they were all the same. Just like me. I was a monster too, wasn¡¯t I? A monster staggering through the trees in search of¡­ something. What was I looking for? I couldn¡¯t quite recall.

    The night sky wasn¡¯t quite black, but instead the deepest shade of crimson, so dark it could easily be mistaken for black. Like dried blood, almost. No stars and no moon. Just a dense, reddened haze of fog that somehow illuminated the path ahead. The whispers continued, coming from all sides, even from the trees above, but it sounded like a nest of hissing snakes, rather than voices. It was a threatening sound, a sound that told me that my presence wasn''t welcome here. I began to walk faster.

    On and on through the endless bloody forest I trudged until I came to a clearing with a house at its center. Shingles hung loosely from the side of the house and the roof was half caved in by a tree that seemed to have fallen out of nowhere. The dilapidated exterior was as uninviting as the forest itself, but maybe it might look better on the inside. Could this house be the safe haven I¡¯d been looking for? I couldn¡¯t see through the cloudy, dirty windows but I could tell there was a candle burning on the table within. I wondered if that meant someone was home. Dare I hope they would offer me shelter for the night?

    I approached the front door and knocked lightly on the rotten wood. As soon as my hand touched the door for the first time, the hissing whispers still coming from the trees went silent. There was no sound at all except for my hand gently rapping on the wood. I patiently waited for a moment, but the interior of the house remained as silent as the exterior.

    I knocked again, louder this time, in case whoever was burning the candle hadn''t heard me. However, there was still no response from within. Maybe the house was empty after all. Had I simply imagined the candlelight in the window? Knowing there was only one way to be sure, I opened the door and walked into the one-room house.

    Wait, wasn¡¯t this¨C? It was. I was in my childhood home. It looked the same as it had in my youth, back when I still lived there with my mother. It was warm, well lit, and a corpse waited for me, seated in a chair at the kitchen table. My mother¡¯s body looked exactly how I remembered it, just before it was tossed into the woods for the animals. Some of its limbs were bent at awkward angles and its face swollen and bruised. Its neck was sliced wide open and blood pooled on the floor beneath it. Bile crept up my throat as I tried not to look at the thing that I couldn¡¯t look away from.

    Its head lifted and turned in my direction. The closed eyelids were lifted to reveal foggy, dead eyes. The corpse glared at me with those lifeless eyes and used my mother''s voice to start screaming, ¡°It hurts! Oh Gods, please no!¡±

    I shrank back in horror as I heard my mother¡¯s dying screams being projected from the mouth of her expressionless corpse. That was perhaps the most unnerving part. Its lips didn¡¯t even move to form the words. Its mouth just fell open and my mother¡¯s final moments started echoing out of its slackened jaw.

    ¡°It should have been you!¡± the corpse shouted, its mouth finally moving in time. The voice that came out of it sounded like my mother''s voice, but she had never used such a hateful tone with me. Its face contorted with hatred as it raged, ¡°It''s all your fault! If I¡¯d never given birth to you, I wouldn¡¯t have had to suffer like this. You did this to me!¡±

    ¡°No, no, please no!¡± I cried, unable to bear hearing her utter the truth. She was right. If I had never existed, she would be alive and happy now. Not knowing what else to do, I pleaded with her, ¡°I didn¡¯t mean for it to happen! I¡¯m so sorry! Please believe me!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re sorry, are you? Then why do you think you''re allowed to be happy?! You need to suffer like I did,¡± my mother continued, ignoring my pleas. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t be alive. It should have been you they murdered that night. You should have been the one begging for mercy that you''d never receive!¡±

    I wept at her words, unable to defend myself. The corpse began to move, snapping its broken limbs back together until it was able to rise from the chair. It took a shambling step toward me.

    "You deserve pain! You deserve to be beaten and ravaged like I was!" As it shrieked, the voice became more and more distorted, like some sort of evil spirit. The room around me darkened, as if all the candles were going out. ¡°How dare you be happy when I had to die for you?! It won''t last though. Soon he''ll realize what you are and give you back to your father. Albrecht is waiting for you. He''s got something special he''s been saving just for you.¡±

    The corpse continued shambling toward me as it spoke and I hastily backed away. My back hit the wall and the door I¡¯d entered through was no longer behind me. I was trapped. Was this how I would die? The corpse leapt toward me, its mouth opening up into the gaping maw of a Devourer¡­

    I couldn¡¯t breathe properly. I didn¡¯t know where I was. All I could do was gasp for air as I writhed around in panic and pain. It was dark, too dark to see anything. I felt like I was tied down, my entire body wrapped tightly in something I couldn¡¯t unbind. I couldn''t free my arms and the more I struggled, the tighter the thing around me became. I could feel the presence of someone or something in the room with me. I could hear a voice calling to me, but I couldn''t concentrate on anything except my desperate need for more air than I was getting.

    I felt something touch me and screamed through my ragged breaths. The corpse. I remembered it. My mother. Was that what was touching me?

    No, whatever was touching me wasn¡¯t trying to hurt me like I deserved. It wasn''t the touch of a vengeful corpse. It felt comforting. I felt whatever it was that trapped me being pulled away, releasing my limbs. I gasped and choked as the pressure on my chest lessened. The pain in my lungs began to subside as I was finally able to draw some air into my lungs.

    Once I was free, I instinctively sat up and someone''s hand started rubbing my back with slow, deliberate motions. It felt nice. My heart began to settle and I felt myself calming down, no longer struggling for air. The blackness that coated my vision began to fade away and I heard Andrian¡¯s voice speaking to me in a soothing tone.

    ¡°Shh, it¡¯s okay,¡± he told me as he continued to rub my back, ¡°whatever you were dreaming about can¡¯t hurt you. It¡¯s just you and me here, and we¡¯re in bed at home. Just keep breathing and it¡¯ll all be okay soon.¡±

    The more I listened to his voice, the more the room around me came into focus. It was just a dream. I was at home. I was safe. My gasps for air turned into careful, steady breaths, but tears still streamed down my cheeks and I couldn¡¯t stop shaking.

    Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    ¡°Good, inhale deeply and let it out slowly. Focus on my voice and remember where you are.¡± He grabbed my hand and squeezed it as he continued coaxing me, ¡°Take your time. Just keep breathing and listening to my voice. It¡¯s okay now. You don¡¯t have to be scared anymore. I¡¯ve got you.¡±

    When he pulled me forward, I fell into his embrace and started sobbing. The horror I¡¯d felt in my dream hadn¡¯t dissipated at all, and the panic I¡¯d felt upon waking reminded me of before, but that wasn¡¯t what I was crying about. All the fear, pain, and isolation I¡¯d felt over the past couple weeks began pouring out of me. The loneliness that haunted me, the fear that I didn¡¯t deserve to be loved, and the memories of being helpless and terrorized exploded from within, one wailing sob at a time. My tears soaked the chest I pressed my face into, snot dripping from my nose and smearing across my face as I wept.

    Andrian just held me tightly, without saying a word, allowing me to unabashedly cry and scream until I had no energy left. As my sobs quieted, I felt instantly exhausted. My body went limp in Andrian¡¯s arms and my breathing slowed. I fell back asleep as quickly as I had woken up, utterly exhausted from the outpouring of emotion.

    The next morning, I awoke feeling like I hadn¡¯t slept at all. My body ached and my eyes were red and swollen to the point I could barely open them. I felt incredibly sluggish and weak, almost as if I were sick. The worst part was the overwhelming sense of shame that came from knowing that I had broken down in front of Andrian. I wondered if he would believe me if I told him that it was only because of the dream. Technically, that wouldn¡¯t be a lie, since it was the dream that triggered it. Either way, I was disappointed in myself for showing him my ugly, pathetic side.

    I was alone in our shared bed. The sunlight coming in from the window told me that I''d slept until it was almost afternoon. Andrian had probably left for the school hours ago. I felt terrible that I¡¯d disturbed his sleep. There was no excuse for my behavior. I¡¯d gotten angry at him before bed, woken him up in the middle of the night, and cried all over him before falling asleep without a word. He must have hated it.

    The door to our room opened and Andrian walked in carrying a tray of food. Seeing I was awake, he stopped in the doorway and cautiously said, ¡°Hey, you¡¯re awake. How are you feeling?¡±

    ¡°Oh, um, I¡¯m alright I guess,¡± I answered, unable to meet his eyes, ¡°I¡¯m really sorry about last night. I wasn¡¯t very nice to you before bed and then I¨C¡±

    ¡°Falyn, why are you apologizing? You haven¡¯t done anything wrong.¡± When I finally found the courage to meet his gaze, he looked tired and full of concern. My heart ached that I had caused him so much trouble.

    ¡°Still, I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯ll do better, so you don¡¯t have to worry anymore,¡± I promised him sincerely. ¡°It was just a bad dream anyway. But¡­ is it okay that you''re not at the school right now?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± he answered swiftly, ¡°You¡¯re far more important and I wanted to be here with you today. I haven¡¯t seen you like that since you got your voice back. And I know you said you¡¯re alright, but I really don¡¯t think you are.¡±

    ¡°I-I-I¡¯m really sorry! It¡¯s nothing, really. I just need to¡­ I need to...¡± I trailed off realizing I had no idea what I needed to do. Everything was a mess. I¡¯d wanted to keep it all hidden, but I had completely and utterly failed.

    ¡°You need to trust me more is what you need to do,¡± Andrian told me firmly. He placed the tray in his hands on the bedside table and sat down next to me. ¡°You don¡¯t have to talk about it if you don¡¯t want to, but at least let me know when you¡¯re having a hard time." He hesitated for a moment before sighing heavily, "I didn''t want to force the issue, but I don''t think there''s any other way to get you to talk. I talked to Auntie and Granny upstairs and they told me that you don¡¯t visit them at all when I¡¯m out. They also said they¡¯ve never seen you go into the yard or leave the house, and they never hear any noises coming from inside. You tell me the same thing every time I ask you about your day, and last night, you got really defensive when I pressed you about it. Regardless of the dream, I can still tell there¡¯s something wrong. Won¡¯t you talk to me about it?¡±

    ¡°But there really isn¡¯t anything wrong!¡± I insisted. ¡°I just... don¡¯t feel like doing anything when I¡¯m not with you. And there¡¯s stuff that I haven¡¯t dealt with yet that''s been nagging at me a little more often since things settled down. But I¡¯m fine, really.¡±

    Andrian''s disbelief was written all over his face, but he didn¡¯t press the issue any further. Instead he started spoon feeding me some millet porridge and suggested we go for a walk around and find a new tavern to have dinner together. Since he had already taken the day off because of me, I agreed. After he''d fed me, despite my protests that I could feed myself, I washed up quickly and we left the house. With Andrian by my side, I had a really good day. It wasn''t long before I''d completely forgotten my anxiety, my dream, and the voice that spoke to me when I was alone.

    I woke up unable to breathe again that night. I had another dream. This time, I was wandering through some unknown place, surrounded by a dense mist. I found a mirror hanging in the middle of that foggy void. When I looked into the mirror, my reflection turned into Albrecht. He told me he would claim me when I returned to Vrayna and that no one would come to save me. I stood frozen in horror as he detailed all the awful and disgusting things he wanted to do to me. I couldn''t stop listening, no matter how desperately I wanted to cover my ears and run away. I only emerged from the dream when his hands reached out of the mirror to strangle me. Even after I''d woken up, I could still feel his hands choking the life out of me. Andrian held me and calmed me before I drifted off back to sleep.

    The dreams continued. Each night, a different face came to haunt me. Each dream was a fresh torment that forced me to face my worst moments and greatest fears. After each dream, I¡¯d wake up in a panic and Andrian would comfort me back to sleep. He said he was going to temporarily cut back his hours at the school so he could be home with me more often. The guilt I felt for interfering with his work was overwhelming, but I didn¡¯t want to be alone and didn¡¯t try to stop him, which only added to the guilt. This went on for almost a week.

    In the light of day, I was able to pretend that everything was normal. I went to work with Adelia in the mornings and could focus on my work without issue. I was beginning to master some of her potion recipes and she was able to leave me to work independently as she ran the shop. Her words of encouragement filled me with a rare sense of self worth. After I left the apothecary in the afternoon, the extra time I was able to spend with Andrian saved me from having to be alone in the house. We explored the village, visited friends, and found new places to eat good food together. It was almost perfect. But the dreams were always there to remind me that I was only pretending to be okay.

    It was on the sixth night that I reached my breaking point. I dreamt of the night my mother died. I was back in my childhood home, while my father''s men laughed cruelly and forced me to watch their fun. But this time, it was Andrian that they had captured, not my mom. Albrecht held me down like he had that night, forced his hand down my pants, and whispered disgusting things in my ear. He said I''d already proven I was no better than they were, and that I could have my turn with Andrian next.

    When I awoke from that particular dream, in my struggle to free myself from the blanket, I fell off the bed and proceeded to vomit the contents of my stomach all over the floor. By the time I was done, I was trembling violently and too weak to even stand on my own. Andrian carried me to our bathing room and cleaned me up, washing me and helping me rinse my mouth. After that, he dressed me again and brought me out to the living room so he could clean the bedroom floor. All I could manage to do was to sit there shaking helplessly while Andrian took care of me like a baby. It was in that moment that I realized I couldn''t keep doing this. Trying to take care of it on my own was only going to make Andrian suffer more.

    ¡°Andri,¡± I said softly, my voice shaking and uncertain, ¡°I think there¡¯s something really wrong with me.¡± That was all I could say before the tears started flowing from my eyes and I completely broke down.

    Eventually, between the sobs and hiccups, I managed to tell him everything that had been happening with me. The time I spent alone, how I¡¯d felt, and exactly what I¡¯d been dreaming about. While I was talking, Andrian didn''t say a word. He just stayed by my side and listened to what I had to say. I don''t know how long I rambled on for, but I eventually grew too tired to continue and fell asleep in his arms.

    The next morning, Andrian asked me to consider seeking additional treatment from one of the local shamans. With the knowledge that avoiding the situation would only hurt us both, I agreed. Andrian helped me get ready and took me to a shaman that was known for their skills in trancing. We agreed I would see them once every couple of days until I''d dealt with the demons that were haunting me. After that, I didn¡¯t have any more dreams.

 Chapter Forty Nine

    The dreams had stopped but there was still a lot going on in my head that I had to work my way through. I¡¯d thought that the feeling of happiness that I''d felt meant that I was better. Now I understood that it didn''t work that way. The relief I felt at leaving Vrayna, the joy of having Andrian by my side, and the excitement of creating a new life for myself were all steps in the right direction. However, after talking to the shaman Andrian had taken me to, I''d come to understand that there was still a long road ahead of me.

    For the time being, I would see the shaman two out of every seven days, and begin the real journey towards healing. The shaman said that the best way to deal with my past was to create excitement about the future. ¡°Cope through hope¡± were the words he used, and he encouraged me to find things I liked to do. That in itself seemed like it would be a challenge because I had no idea what I liked. Part of the problem was that I had no idea who I was.

    The shaman had also suggested that some of my regression was probably due to fear, since we were going back to Vrayna at the beginning of the next moon cycle. The closer we got to my return, the more I dreaded having to face my abusers. I was afraid of having to recount my worst moments in a public forum, but I was even more afraid that my father or his men would somehow find a way to corner me when I was alone. With that in mind, Andrian thought it would be a good idea to focus on my training and continue to build my strength. All three of us agreed that it would be better if I could fully defend myself before I went back.

    As he''d mentioned before, Andrian officially invited me to come train with the students on the days I didn¡¯t have to go to Adelia¡¯s shop. The first time I accompanied Andrian to the school, I was a little nervous that I wouldn''t be able to keep up with the students. All of them would be old enough to have a human form, anywhere from twelve to eighteen years in age, depending on how many years they¡¯d been at the school. I was going to be joining a group of second year students who Andrian said would be at an equivalent skill level. I wasn''t sure if my pride could handle being completely humiliated in battle by a group of thirteen year olds.

    Facing them for the first time, the surprisingly small group looked somewhat intimidating at first glance. Three females and two males was all there was to the second year class, and it looked like the other classes were equally small. I suppose that was a good thing, considering this was a school for orphans. The five students looked like proper little soldiers, while I, the adult, felt like an impostor for trying to join them. However, the five youths surprised me by being very friendly and outgoing.

    Once we got down to sparring, I discovered quickly that Andrian had been right in his choice of partners for me. We were, for the most part, equally matched. The only exception was one of the females, the smallest of the group no less, who was far beyond all of us in terms of skill. She''d gained a human form early on and had taken to the sword immediately. From what the others told me, she was undefeated in their class and the class above.

    I found myself smiling as she smacked me repeatedly with her practice sword. Tanys was her name, a fierce little wolf cub, and she became my favored opponent very quickly. Tanys seemed pleased to find a partner who didn¡¯t get mad when they continued losing and the other four looked relieved to no longer have to face her.

    Over the next two days, Tanys and I sparred constantly. She''d lost her parents early in the Vraynian war, though she didn''t seem to hold a grudge against me or the humans for it. Over lunch on the first day, she told me about her parents and said she was just thankful the war was over.

    On the second day, I managed to disarm her. Tanys looked happier about that fact than I was, and she doubled her efforts for the rest of the day, pushing me to my limits. I went home battered and bruised, but filled with a sense of accomplishment and ease. We promised each other to continue sparring together whenever I could come by the school. I was glad I got to make such an unlikely friend.

    After two days of going to the school with Andrian, I was feeling the best I¡¯d felt since we first arrived in the village. For our day off together, Andrian told me that he had a surprise for me, but refused to tell me what it was. We got up early, dressed, and left the house just as the sun was beginning to appear on the horizon. We stopped at a small cafe for coffee and something to eat before heading out towards the forest. When we reached the archway on the road that marked the village boundary, along with the regular guards at their posts, Willow and Vargas were waiting for us.

    When I looked to Andrian for an explanation, he smiled and said, ¡°Surprise! We¡¯re going monster hunting!¡±

    ¡°Really?!¡± I asked, feeling genuinely excited at the prospect. I¡¯d been training with Andrian for over three moon cycles, but before this, whenever I''d asked to put my skills to the test, he''d just said I wasn''t ready.

    ¡°If you can keep up with Tanys, I think you¡¯re ready to give it a try. Vargas and Willow were both free today so I asked them to come along as backup. If we¡¯re going out looking for a fight, safety in numbers is best,¡± Andrian explained as we approached the two waiting beastmen.

    ¡°Hey lovebirds!¡± Vargas called out to us, ¡°Fancy meeting you here.¡±

    I happily greeted him and Willow, and then we headed off into the forest. I was given a simple short sword, a small shield, and some leather armor to wear. The armor was a perfect fit and Willow told me Andrian had ordered it for me in secret the week prior. Willow had kept it for him at her home so it could be gifted to me at the right moment. It seemed Andrian had started planning this day for me after Auntie and Granny had told him about my daytime habits.

    Leaving the road behind, we trampled through the bushes, getting further and further away from the village and the safety net it provided. I was under strict instruction that I should let the others do the fighting if we came across anything dangerous, as I was still a novice and they didn¡¯t want me to get hurt. I had no problem with that, as I already knew that I wasn¡¯t ready to fight the stronger monsters that inhabited the forest.

    After walking for almost two movements, we hadn¡¯t come across anything but birds and a boar. I was almost wondering if we might fail to encounter anything at all when my companions froze in their tracks. They¡¯d seen something. I halted my movements and looked in the direction their eyes were focused.

    Through the trees, I could see what they were looking at. A four legged creature stood a short distance away, watching us as carefully as we watched it. It had a large skull and an elongated snout, and I could see its razor sharp teeth glinting in the sunlight.

    Softly, I asked, ¡°What is that thing?¡±

    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    ¡°It¡¯s a Hyaenodon,¡± Andrian answered, ¡°a pretty big one too. They¡¯re considered pretty weak as far as monsters go. Barely more trouble than an angry wolf. Do you want to give it a try?¡±

    I studied the monster for a moment before inquiring, ¡°Do you think I can do it?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I think you can. It¡¯s only a little bit stronger than a regular predator animal. You¡¯ll need to watch out for its claws, but it¡¯s more likely to use a bite attack. The three of us will stay close, but we¡¯ll only intervene if we think you¡¯re in real danger,¡± Andrian said, watching me carefully as he spoke.

    ¡°Its vitals are all the places you¡¯d expect them to be,¡± Willow added, giving me a solid pat on the back. ¡°Andrian¡¯s right about the bite attacks, but don¡¯t forget that they have impressive leg strength and can leap at you from a surprising distance. It¡¯s best to stay back and let it attack you first, got it?¡±

    I nodded and began moving toward the creature. My heart pounded furiously and my mouth was dry. I wished I didn''t know that beastment could pick up the scent of stronger emotions. It was a little embarrassing to know that all three of my companions could smell my fear. However, there was nothing that could be done about it and I tried to pretend I didn''t know.

    At some point, I realized I was moving forward alone. The Hyaenodon snarled at me as I stopped about twenty feet away from where it stood. I watched it carefully, taking a defensive stance and waiting for a sign that it was about to attack. Before I had a chance to think, it leapt towards me, covering the distance between us in mere seconds.

    I barely recovered from the shock in time to parry its first attack. As I was warned, it attacked with its mouth and went straight for my throat. I blocked with my shield and pushed it back before swinging my sword at it and missing. It let out a noise somewhere between a howl and growl before leaping at me again. I blocked it again and the second swing of my sword made contact with the creature.

    When I looked, the Hyaenodon was bleeding from its left shoulder. It roared in anger and swiped at me with its claws. I parried with my sword and sliced into its paw, eliciting another angry roar. It attacked me again with the claws of its uninjured arm. I raised my shield in time to stop it from shredding my side, but I was knocked off balance and fell to the ground.

    Before I could get back up, it was upon me, and I just barely managed to roll out of the way in time. I was on my feet before its next attack, but I was still recovering when it leapt at me again. Entirely out of instinct, I defended with my sword instead of my shield and the tip of my sword found the monster¡¯s neck. Unable to stop its own momentum, it impaled itself as it fell on me. Blood splattered across my face as my sword plunged through its neck to the hilt.

    Trapped under the heavy, dead, and bleeding monster, I couldn¡¯t help but laugh. I¡¯d won. No one had to help me. I had killed a proper monster all by myself in a real fight. And now I was trapped underneath its immense weight, unable to free myself. It was so utterly ridiculous that I couldn¡¯t keep the laughter in, despite my already concerning struggle to breathe.

    I felt the weight on me being lifted off by my companions. I filled my lungs with air and continued to laugh uncontrollably on the ground. It had started as a light chuckle, but something inside me snapped and I couldn¡¯t stop the endless stream of giggles that came out of me. I was laughing so hard that tears started streaming down my face. How long has it been since I laughed like this?

    That thought stopped me dead in my tracks. I really didn''t know how long it had been. I couldn¡¯t remember the last time I¡¯d laughed without restraint. How long had it been since I laughed at all?

    I wasn¡¯t sure if I¡¯d ever actually laughed in front of Andrian. Maybe once or twice? Maybe never. I felt my stomach sink at that realization. Was I so lacking in joy that my mate had never heard me laugh?

    Suddenly my tears stung my eyes and my laughter turned into sobs. My heart was devoid of normal human joy. All I had were traumatic memories and anxiety. Even my good memories were tainted by the stain of my father. Andrian was the one thing in my life that brought me joy, and all I could offer him was misery. The shame that I was doing exactly that at that moment only fueled my tears of self-loathing.

    Andrian picked me up and sat with me on his lap, cradling me like a baby. Unable to stop myself, I clung to him and cried until the wave of emotions had passed. Andrian stroked my back softly as I sobbed. Willow and Vargas, wherever they were, remained silent.

    ¡°Better now?¡± Andrian asked me when I was finally calm. I nodded, my face still buried in his chest. His arms tightened around me, ¡°Do you want to talk about what caused it?¡±

    I looked up at him through bleary eyes. His face and voice were calm, but his eyes belied the strong emotions that gripped him. ¡°I-I don¡¯t know,¡± I answered shakily.

    ¡°You don¡¯t know what caused it or you don¡¯t know if you want to talk about it?¡± He tried to keep his voice light, but I could hear the trembling in his tone.

    I wanted to pretend I didn¡¯t know what caused it and move on, but the shaman had strongly recommended that I stop bottling up my feelings. Talking about my struggles would keep me from spiraling. So I answered honestly, ¡°I don¡¯t know if I want to talk about it¡­ Ah! I¡¯m so sorry. I-I didn¡¯t mean to¡­ It¡¯s just... I laughed, and it felt so weird to laugh. Then I realized I don¡¯t laugh. And then I felt guilty¡­ and¡­¡± I trailed off with a helpless expression.

    ¡°You don¡¯t need to be sorry or feel guilty about anything,¡± Andrian assured me, stroking my head gently as he spoke.

    ¡°I must be awful to be around. I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯ll try harder. Please don''t give up on me.¡± I felt myself getting worked up again and struggled to keep my breathing steady.

    ¡°I, for one, am just glad you weren¡¯t crying over a monster,¡± Vargas cut in, reminding me that there were two other people still present. My face flushed as I looked up from Andrian¡¯s chest to see him and Willow standing a few feet away, on either side of the monster¡¯s corpse.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry!¡± I apologized to both of them. I had no idea what else I could possibly say to them. They¡¯d gone out of their way to help Andrian do something nice for me, and I was being so ungrateful.

    ¡°Why are you sorry?¡± Willow asked, looking bewildered. ¡°I don¡¯t know the details, but I know you had a pretty shitty time back in Humanland. Everyone goes through stuff. We get it.¡±

    ¡°I feel like I let you down,¡± I admitted, ¡°All three of you tried to do something nice for me¡­ I shouldn¡¯t be crying like this. I¡¯m truly sorry.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re thinking about it the wrong way,¡± Vargas interrupted, ¡°You said you don¡¯t laugh, but we helped you find something to laugh about. So what if you got a little upset after? Seriously, I was really worried you were crying cause you were scared or felt bad about killing it or something.¡±

    ¡°No, actually, I started laughing at how stupid it was that I killed it only to have it land on top of me. If I¡¯d been alone, that monster might have killed me with bad luck by pinning me down with its corpse until I starved or suffocated. I don''t know why, but once I realized that, I couldn''t stop laughing.¡± My smile returned when I thought about it again.

    ¡°Hey, there¡¯s that smile I like so much,¡± Andrian said with a laugh, ¡°but it would look a lot better without all the monster blood. Tears can only wash away so much.¡±

    That certainly explained the sticky, tight feeling I felt across my forehead. Fortunately, there was a small stream nearby where I could wash my face. The cold water felt nice on my swollen eyes. What Vargas had said had really helped improve my mood. It hadn¡¯t occurred to me to celebrate the laughter instead of mourning its previous absence. Thinking more rationally now, I realized I hadn¡¯t let loose like that before, but I had certainly shared smaller laughs with Andrian. I needed to stop letting my darker thoughts blur the lines between anxiety and reality.

 Chapter Fifty

    We decided to stop for lunch afterward and set up a blanket next to the stream for us to sit on. Much to my surprise, not only was Vargas the one in charge of our lunch that day, but he was also an excellent cook. From his backpack, he produced an assortment of meats and vegetables for us to wrap in a herbed flatbread he''d made that morning, as well as a hearty soup and a dish made from roasted sweet potatoes in a sweet and sour dressing. Willow told me that he had been a camp chef when they were stationed at the border to the wildlands. I was both impressed and envious of his skills.

    After I¡¯d filled my empty stomach, I found that my emotions were back in balance. I''d learned that an empty stomach often contributed to my negative feelings because it reminded me of the days I''d spent starving locked in my room in my father''s home. As I lay back on the blanket, I looked up and watched the clouds slowly drift across the sky. A full stomach, the company of good friends, and I¡¯d successfully fought my first monster. There were many things for me to be happy about. Though I had no desire to be a soldier or fight if I didn¡¯t have to, I still felt a surge of pride in the knowledge that I was capable of defending myself. Humans had to be easier to defend against than monsters, right?

    Lost in thought, I felt movement beside me. I turned to look, expecting to see Andrian at my side. Much to my surprise it was Vargas looking back at me.

    ¡°So, what¡¯s your deal?¡± he asked in a seemingly casual voice. ¡°Andrian told us that you weren¡¯t treated all that good by your human family and were pretty much forced into this whole treaty thing, but there¡¯s more to it than just that, right?¡±

    ¡°Um, I¡¯m not really sure if I can talk about it,¡± I responded awkwardly, ¡°and I¡¯m also not sure if I want to. It¡¯s not something I can share lightly. Thanks for your concern, but I''m alright now, really.¡±

    He looked up at the same sky I''d been staring at and matter of factly stated, ¡°Human soldiers raped my mom. It was when the war first started. My family and I lived in one of the western villages, one of the first villages they raided. We weren¡¯t expecting it, so we were hit pretty hard in the beginning. They came in the middle of the night. There was enough of a commotion that we''d woke up with enough time for my mom to hide me and my sister in a closet before they bust down our door. There were three of them¨C¡±

    Vargas¡¯s voice caught in his throat and he fell silent for a moment. Much to my surprise, I saw a single tear trickle down his face and onto the blanket below. That single tear was the only thing that gave away how hard this was for him to talk about.

    ¡°I heard everything from the closet she hid us in. Being forced to listen to that was, and still is, the worst moment of my life,¡± Vargas continued, speaking in a dull tone, and reciting the story as if it were someone else¡¯s. ¡°She was saved in the end. Neighbors heard her screaming and came to help. By the time I got out of that closet, those three men were splattered all over the bedroom walls. But my mom, she looked so tiny, crying on her knees, and clutching a rug from the floor to cover her body. She was a strong woman who wore her body with pride, and those bastards made her ashamed. That, I think, might have been harder than hearing her scream.¡±

    I didn¡¯t know how to respond to such a bold revelation. His experience was so similar to my own that it shook me to my core to hear it. I sat up and saw that Andrian and Willow had somehow ended up quite some distance downstream from us.

    ¡°I told them to bugger off for a bit,¡± Vargas explained when I looked back at him. ¡°Look, I don¡¯t know if there are things that the higher ups said to keep things quiet, but if they didn¡¯t directly tell you not to talk about it, then you¡¯re okay to tell me. If you want to, that is.¡±

    ¡°Why did you tell me all that?¡± I finally asked after a moment of silence.

    ¡°See, Andrian¡¯s been really worried about you lately. Said you''ve been having a tough time with some shit from your past and he didn''t know what to do. He asked me to talk to you and to tell you about my mom. He didn¡¯t say why, but I think I can make a pretty good guess. So here we are,¡± he said as he turned on his side to face me, ¡°you¡¯ve heard my story. What happens next is up to you.¡±

    ¡°Well, I¡­¡± I paused, considering how much I wanted to say. Finally I sighed and said, ¡°My mother was the first of the murdered women that started the war.¡±

    ¡°Well, shit,¡± Vargas muttered, ¡°I was kinda wondering if something like that might be the case. So that¡¯s how you ended up with your father, then?¡±

    ¡°It was her punishment for running away. It... it was my father¡¯s men that did it and I had to watch the whole thing.¡± I fought to keep my tone steady and emotionless as I spoke. ¡°The years I spent with my father were horrible in ways I can¡¯t even begin to explain. The man who hurt her, he wanted to hurt me too. He terrorized me for years with my father¡¯s blessing. His goal, as far as I understand it, was to use me as a puppet for his daughter so she could rule from the shadows. For that, he decided the easiest way was to break me. It probably would have worked if my sister hadn¡¯t been summoned to serve as a bride of peace.¡±

    ¡°I already said it, but well, shit,¡± Vargas laughed bitterly. ¡°That dumb bastard actually sent you to us? How did he not know how this would turn out for him?¡±

    ¡°Well, he didn¡¯t expect me to survive that long¡­ If this had been a marriage between Vraynian nobles, I probably would have been killed outright. He sent me to save my sister, yes, but it was also meant to be an insult. Besides, when Andrian and I met in the Royal Palace, I was a total mess. As far as my father or anyone else knew, I was an incurable mute. The fact that we¡¯re even having this conversation at all is a miracle I owe to Andri,¡± I couldn¡¯t help but smile softly as I said that.

    ¡°Please spare me the lovey dovey shit. I don¡¯t think I can take it,¡± Vargas said with a grimace, ¡°We¡¯re having a serious conversation here.¡±

    ¡°Well, lovey dovey or not, it¡¯s true,¡± I retorted.

    ¡°Ugh, whatever,¡± he laughed and shook his head before turning serious again. ¡°It¡¯s hard isn¡¯t it? My greatest regret is that I was too weak and too scared to help my mom, but I can¡¯t imagine how screwed up I¡¯d be if I¡¯d actually had to see it, or if I¡¯d lost her, or if I¡¯d had to face the bastards who did it with all their limbs still intact. Shit, that¡¯s really messed up. Good on ya for making it this far after all that.¡±

    I didn¡¯t know what to say after that, so I chose to remain silent, but his words hadn¡¯t made me unhappy. This was the first time someone had said something like that to me. Had I done well to survive until now?

    After surmising that no response was coming, Vargas asked, ¡°Is that why you¡¯re learning how to fight? You don¡¯t strike me as the soldier type.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m learning how to defend myself, not fight. I don¡¯t want to be a soldier or anything else like that. But¡­ I have to go back and I¡¯ll probably have to face them again.¡± I shivered, despite the warmth of the day. ¡°I¡¯m not ashamed to admit that having to see them again terrifies me.¡±

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    ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure humans are easier to kill than monsters, if it comes to that,¡± Vargas said in an off handed voice. ¡°There¡¯s more than one way to get over your fears. It might make you feel better to see them reduced to lifeless hunks of flesh.¡±

    ¡°They deserve it,¡± I answered softly, ¡°It wasn¡¯t just my mother that they did that too. As far as I know, they were responsible for the death of every woman that the Beastlands were accused of killing. My father too. And the Second Prince. I can¡¯t begin to understand their motives, but really, they''re indirectly responsible for what happened to your mother as well. I don''t like violence. It scares me, if I''m being honest, but... it wouldn''t be a bad thing if they were reduced to hunks of flesh. This world would be better and safer if they were.¡±

    ¡°We should hang out more,¡± Vargas suddenly suggested. ¡°Andrian¡¯s already training you every morning, right?¡±

    I nodded, ¡°Yeah. We train every morning. He brought me to the school to spar with some of the students too.¡±

    ¡°Then, if you¡¯re up for it, let me help you in the afternoons. I know you¡¯re older than me, but somehow I see a bit of my younger self in you. I think I''ve got a pretty good handle on what''s been bothering you. And you know, one of the main reasons I decided to join the army was because soldiers aren¡¯t victims,¡± he admitted, ¡°they protect people from becoming victims. I was glad they sent me to the eastern front, though. As much as I hated the humans for what they were doing, I much prefer fighting monsters.¡±

    ¡°I guess I don¡¯t want to feel like a victim anymore either¡­¡± I trailed off for a moment before adding, ¡°And, well, I can understand why you¡¯d hate humans after all that.¡±

    At my words, Vargas immediately started to explain himself, ¡°Gah, don¡¯t take it the wrong way. I don¡¯t hate you for being a human or anything. Even if I did hate all humans for what some of your soldiers did, you¡¯re different. You don¡¯t look down on us the way most of ¡®em do.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help but smile at his attempts to comfort me. I knew all too well what hatred looked like. This wasn¡¯t it. You didn''t have this kind of conversation with someone you hated. But his concern was somewhat heartwarming for me. ¡°I didn¡¯t take it that way,¡± I assured him. ¡°I said I understood why you¡¯d hate them, because that¡¯s how I feel.¡±

    I don¡¯t know how Vargas would have responded to me because Andrian and Willow¡¯s voices sounded from downstream, indicating they were back within earshot and returning to where we were sitting. Seeing them talking and laughing as they walked toward us was comforting in its own way. It felt like what I imagined normal to be.

    After Andrian and Willow had returned, Vargas and I both considered our conversation to be over. We packed up the remains of our lunch and started moving through the forest again. Andrian told me that we needed to start making our way back so we wouldn¡¯t end up in the forest after dark. However, we would continue to hunt along the way with the intention of giving me another opportunity to test my skills. A small part of me hoped we would encounter something, but a much larger part of me was already satisfied and hoped we would find nothing but trees and bushes.

    For the next few movements, we wandered the forest without incident. It wasn¡¯t until we were almost back at the village that we finally crossed paths with something other than the woodland creatures. However, what we encountered was not something I dared to try to fight. It wasn¡¯t something any of us dared to fight.

    We smelled their foul stench long before we actually saw them. Ahead of us through the trees were five enormous adult dire wolves, feeding on the carcass of some unfortunate creature. The one I''d encountered in Vrayna on the way to the Royal Palace had been incredibly large, almost the size of the Royal carriage. These ones were even bigger than that. My three companions looked at each other hesitantly before reaching a silent accord and leading me back in the opposite direction. Moving as quietly as possible, we left the area, the wet sounds of them devouring their prey and their awful smell chasing after us as we fled.

    Once we were a safe distance away, Willow started laughing, ¡°That was way too damn close! Five of em? That¡¯s practically an entire pa¨C¡±

    Willow¡¯s voice abruptly cut off and her eyes widened. In front of us on the path, only a short distance away, was another direwolf. It bared its yellow fangs and issued a low growl from the depths of its throat. I felt my heart drop.

    Quietly, almost inaudibly, I heard Andrian say, ¡°We can¡¯t let it howl for the others. Remember that time with the mountain trolls?¡±

    Willow grinned wickedly and Vargas glanced between her, Andrian, and the wolf before he sighed. It seemed that both he and Willow understood exactly what Andrian was thinking, but only one of them was happy about it. I felt a little less concerned after watching their calm exchange.

    Vargas'' shoulders were slumped in resignation as he slowly put down his pack and pulled out a long dagger. His eyes never left the monster in front of us. The direwolf watched his every movement closely, its body tense and ready to strike. I stood back, making myself as inconspicuous as possible. I was undeniably terrified of the giant monster, but I was also curious to see what they were planning.

    ¡°On three,¡± Andrian whispered as he and Willow cupped their hands. Vargas climbed up, one foot in either set of hands, and held his dagger between his teeth. Once he was balanced and ready, Andrian counted, ¡°One. Two. Three!¡±

    They launched Vargas into the air. He grabbed onto the branch of a tree and swung himself up, disappearing into the leaves. While Vargas was airborne, Andrian and Willow moved in opposite directions, shouting, ¡°Hey! Over here!¡± to get the direwolf¡¯s attention. The large wolf didn¡¯t know where to look, but fortunately, it was confused enough by their movements that it didn¡¯t think to howl for the rest of its pack. It looked back and forth between Andrian and Willow, completely forgetting about Vargas in the trees above, trying to decide which one to go after first.

    Meanwhile, Vargas jumped from branch to branch until he was directly above the direwolf as it prepared to attack. Just as it decided that Willow was its target, Vargas dropped down from above, landed on its back, and drove his dagger into the creature¡¯s neck, severing its spine. Still holding onto the dagger, he flung his legs upward and used the momentum to swing himself under the direwolf¡¯s neck. The blade followed his movements and sliced through the creature''s thick hide, cutting its throat in the process.

    The direwolf was dead before it hit the ground, never having had the chance to howl for help from its pack. Next to its corpse, Vargas stood unharmed, but drenched in the direwolf¡¯s foul smelling blood. The look on his face was so indignant that, despite my sympathy for him, I couldn''t help but chuckle. But only a little. His scowl deepened..

    ¡°You-haha-you should see the look on your face!¡± Willow cackled, not even trying to hide how much she was enjoying his misery. ¡°This is so much better than the troll!¡±

    ¡°Do you have any idea how bad this shit smells?!¡± Vargas shouted, waving his arms about with an aggrieved look on his face. Willow continued laughing and snapped, ¡°That¡¯s it, you bitch, come here. I''m gonna give you a big fat hug!"

    Willow cursed furiously and started running. Vargas darted after her, and Andrian came over and hugged me from behind as we watched the chase. Unfortunately for Willow, despite having the longer legs of the two, Vargas was just a little bit faster, and he tackled her to the ground. He held her down and smeared the direwolf''s blood all over her clothes as she raged at him. He laughed as they wrestled on the ground.

    I wondered if the time would ever come when I could genuinely laugh as Vargas did. He carried such a heavy burden so weightlessly that no one would ever guess he carried it at all. He wasn''t just alive, he was truly living, despite the trauma he''d experienced. I wanted to do the same. I wanted to live and laugh like that. Perhaps that feeling was the reason why Andrian had asked him to talk to me.

    After that, we headed straight back to the village. The presence of a direwolf pack in the vicinity was something that needed to be reported immediately, and most of us were in desperate need of a bath. Andrian was the only one of us who hadn¡¯t gotten covered in some form of monster blood during the day.

    We reported what we had seen to the guards on duty at the archway and parted ways. Andrian and I walked hand in hand toward our home, not saying anything as we traveled the now familiar streets. It was a comfortable silence that was easily covered by the sounds of the village.

    As I reflected on the day, I realized that I¡¯d had a genuinely good time. Despite my emotional outburst, it had been a lot of fun. I experienced a rare sense of accomplishment and pride in my abilities, and it seemed that my conversation with Vargas had helped more than I¡¯d thought. I felt a little less alone, knowing that there was someone out there who shared my pain.

 Chapter Fifty One

    It felt as if time was moving too fast. Perhaps because I was dreading the end of our somewhat peaceful time in the village, the days seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye, and our departure back to Vrayna loomed over me.

    There was no denying it; I didn¡¯t want to go back. I didn¡¯t want to face my father, and I could die happy if I never had to encounter his knights again. But I couldn¡¯t escape the reality of my situation. I had to go back. No matter how much I wanted to avoid it, for the sake of peace and every woman who had been killed, I had to go back and face my fears. At least that was what I reminded myself of every time I wanted to run away.

    Nevertheless, my overall condition had improved greatly. I hadn¡¯t had any more nightmares and I hadn''t lost any more time to my dark thoughts. The dark thoughts were still there, but I was doing a much better job at controlling them.

    My apprenticeship was going well and I¡¯d become proficient at making the core stock of potions Adelia kept in her shop. She had promised to start teaching me some of the custom potions that she had created over the years, stating I was no longer a novice in her eyes. Those words meant the world to me, knowing that her exacting standards wouldn''t allow her to shower me with false praise.

    It wasn¡¯t long after our monster hunting trip that Adelia decided it was time to officially reveal me as her apprentice. My potions, which her clients currently believed to be Adelia¡¯s work, had been selling well with no complaints about quality. There was no official announcement or any fanfare involved, which was my preference anyway. One day, she simply told me to start doing my work in a different area, one where people could see me. Even if they didn¡¯t like it, her clients couldn¡¯t say anything against it when she told them I¡¯d been making their potions for the last moon cycle. Adelia¡¯s judgement was proven correct, and my work spoke for itself.

    However, a different kind of problem soon arose. Word spread quickly through the village, and soon there were beastmen who came to Adelia¡¯s apothecary just to catch a glimpse of the human who could make potions that any shaman would be proud of. It was a strange feeling to have so many eyes on me while I worked, but I didn''t dislike this turn of events. I was a novelty to them, nothing more, but I was proud of my work and pleased to have an opportunity to show off my hard earned skills.

    Needless to say, Adelia¡¯s apothecary was booming, with me, her human apprentice, at its center. But the problem was that I had to go back to Vrayna for the human wedding. More than once, she lamented that I would soon be leaving the shop for over a fortnight right after her apothecary had acquired so many new clients. She bemoaned all the work she¡¯d have to do alone while I was away, and all the late nights she¡¯d have to put in. Listening to her, you''d have thought I was going on a vacation.

    On the other hand, thanks to my potions, some of the beastmen in the village finally began warming up to me. There were now a few shopkeepers who would call my name and wave to me when I passed them on my way home from Adelia''s apothecary, which made me feel significantly more comfortable going to the other shops in the area. And that opened up more opportunities for me to interact with others on my way home. For the first time, I learned what it was like to make small talk and get to know new people without Andrian there to support me.

    However, the people who really mattered, they accepted me as I was. They saw me for me, not as some novelty that would eventually cease to be novel and fade into their memories. Like Auntie Dorie and Granny Melena upstairs, who embraced us like we were their own children, and made sure we knew their door was always open to us. And Adelia, who showed faith in my abilities and trained me, even though she knew her clients might object. There was also Vargas, who kept his promise and visited me in the afternoons while I waited for Andrian to come home. Since our conversation that day, Vargas had been going out of his way to spend time with me and kept me from succumbing to loneliness.

    Some days we would spar with swords, and other days I would try to beat him in a wrestling match with his lion form. But every time he visited, we would talk a little about our lives, both before and after the events that changed us. From Vargas, I learned what it meant to heal and move on. It wasn¡¯t about finding perfect absolution and never thinking about it again, it was about learning to live your life as something more than the sum of your bad experiences. You had to create good experiences that could outweigh the bad. He told me that I was struggling because I hadn¡¯t had the time to create enough good experiences, and that eventually it would become easier. He was the one who gave me hope that, one day, I could smile without a shadow behind it.

    In any case, I was able to open up to him in ways I couldn''t with Andrian. Even though I had shared most of my story with Andrian, there were things that I dared not put into words. My worst and darkest moments that I couldn¡¯t bring myself to tell him. Not because I didn¡¯t trust him, but because I thought it would hurt him too much to hear it. He¡¯d already shed enough tears on my behalf. But those dark and shameful moments, I could share them with Vargas. There was healing in that, too.

    As for the person who mattered most to me, I couldn¡¯t have asked for a more perfect mate than Andrian. My Andri, who always seemed to know what I needed, even when I didn¡¯t know myself. He took care of me when I was scared and alone, and filled my life with warmth. He was my everything and he was mine. Sometimes the degree of possessiveness that I felt toward him scared me. I lamented that I couldn¡¯t mark him with my scent the way he could with me. I wanted everyone to know that he was mine, to the point that no one would dare approach him without my permission.

    I tried not to dwell too much on such feelings, as I knew it wasn¡¯t healthy to think that way. Andrian had to live his own life as well. He couldn''t live entirely for me, even if he would willingly agree to it if I asked. But in the darkest corner of my heart, I still wished I could keep him all to myself.

    It was a cool, crisp morning, one that carried the first hints of autumn in its chill, when the small army that would accompany us back to Vrayna arrived in the village. That morning, I was asleep in my bed, wrapped in Andrian''s warm arms, when there was a loud pounding on our door.

    ¡°Rise and shine lovebirds!¡± I heard a familiar voice shout through the door. We both groaned and grabbed some clothes to wear. Rastari continued abusing our front door until Andrian, who found his clothes faster than I, finally opened it.

    It wasn¡¯t that I was unhappy to see Rastari. He was always kind to me and I enjoyed his company. But there was no doubt as to what his arrival portented. I¡¯d known the time of our departure was fast closing in on us, but I¡¯d hoped we¡¯d get even just a few more days of grace before it happened. So it was hard to greet him with any real enthusiasm, even if I was glad to see him.

    Rastari brushed off my lukewarm greeting with his usual friendly confidence, and offered to wait while we got ready. We had been invited to join the other generals for lunch at a local tavern to discuss our upcoming journey. We hastily got ourselves ready, as it turned out that lunchtime wasn¡¯t all that far off. It was our free day, and we¡¯d slept through most of the morning already.

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    As we were leaving the house, I heard a voice calling out to us. I looked behind me and Auntie Dorie was tottering her way over to us from her garden in the back.

    ¡°Oh my! Boys, now who is this handsome gentleman who¡¯s come to visit you?¡± she asked when she reached us.

    ¡°Auntie, this is Rastari, a general of the tiger tribe,¡± Andrian answered her with a smile. "Ras, this is Auntie Dorie. She lives upstairs."

    ¡°Oh no, does this mean it¡¯s time for you to go back to the human land?¡± Auntie Dorie asked, suddenly looking a little down. ¡°My goodness, we¡¯re going to miss you boys. We¡¯ve gotten so used to all your help that it¡¯s going to be extra hard without you here. And who¡¯s going to eat all our extra vegetables?¡±

    ¡°You make it sound like we aren¡¯t coming back!¡± Andrian laughed, ¡°I¡¯ll cut you lots of wood before we go, I promise. Enough to last you until we¡¯re back and eating all your food again.¡±

    ¡°For the time being, I¡¯m only taking them to go eat some lunch,¡± Rastari assured her, ¡°so they¡¯ll be back soon. I¡¯ll make sure he cuts your firewood before we depart.¡± Rastari winked at her as he said that, clearly trying to charm the old lady.

    Rastari¡¯s charm seemed to work, as Auntie Dorie grabbed his large forearm with both hands and beamed, ¡°What a nice young man you are, looking out for an old lady. My mate Melena would just love you. Why don¡¯t you come back with the boys and have dinner with us tonight?¡±

    ¡°I would love to, if it¡¯s alright with you,¡± Rastari accepted her offer with a smile. ¡°But I¡¯m afraid that for now, we need to get going. We have some folks waiting on us.¡±

    I highly doubted that Rastari was aware of what he had just agreed to. Granny Melena would certainly love him¨C to do things around the house for her, that is. Andrian and I both knew that going over for dinner meant doing chores to earn our food. We¡¯d spent countless evenings doing household repairs, chopping wood for the fire, weeding the garden, and washing their pots and pans. However, the food was always worth the effort. I hoped Rastari was handy with more than just a sword.

    Neither I nor Andrian bothered to warn him about what having dinner would actually entail. Better to leave it as a surprise. Instead, as we walked into town, Rastari kept up an endless stream of chatter, asking us question after question about everything we¡¯d been up to since we¡¯d seen him last.

    We arrived at a tavern that Andrian and I knew well. It was the same tavern in which I¡¯d first met Vargas and the others. Over the past few moon cycles, we¡¯d all met here a few times, and this tavern was definitely a place filled with good memories for me. It immediately put me at ease.

    We went upstairs to one of the private rooms and there was just barely enough room for the three of us to join the already large group. As we entered, the room''s current occupants all shifted down to make room for us at the large table.

    Luxania, Shidah, and Coraggio sat against the wall opposite the entrance, and three of the generals I¡¯d met with the last contingent sat on the bench to the right. Seeing only one option, the Rastari walked over to the long bench on the left of the table and sat down. Andrian and I followed his lead.

    ¡°Falyn, Andrian, it¡¯s been a while,¡± Luxania greeted us with a smile, ¡°it''s good to see you both looking so well.¡±

    ¡°Ah, Luxie, it''s good to see you too,¡± Andrian said as he sat down, trapping me between him and Rastari.

    ¡°We¡¯ve already ordered for everyone, but if there¡¯s anything you want, just say so. The Beastland army is paying the bill, so don¡¯t be shy,¡± added one of the other generals, Garwal, if I was remembering correctly.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± I responded, ¡°but I¡¯m certain we¡¯ll be happy with whatever you chose.¡±

    ¡°Such a polite little human,¡± the general named Harlow commented, ¡°You look like you¡¯ve been doing well for yourself.¡± His words should have been friendly, but his expression certainly didn¡¯t look friendly. ¡°Does life in the Beastlands suit the noble human so well?¡±

    ¡°It does, actually,¡± I replied in a calm voice. ¡°Far more so than life in Vrayna ever did. I''m very happy here.¡± If he was wanting to start a fight, I wasn''t going to help him. Besides, it was the truth.

    ¡°How nice for you,¡± he sneered. I recalled that he hadn¡¯t seemed to like me all that much the first time we met, either. At the time, I¡¯d thought he¡¯d simply misinterpreted my silence as a rejection, but now I could see there was more to it. ¡°So you haven¡¯t changed your mind about helping us, now that the time has come?¡± he asked with narrowed eyes. I felt like he was testing me, but it seemed like the kind of test I couldn¡¯t pass. He¡¯d once said that I was his ¡®new favourite human,'' but I felt like I hadn''t gained all that much from that status. He just hated me a little less than the rest of my species.

    Not knowing what else to do, I told him plainly, ¡°I realize that, from your perspective, this might be something I could change my mind about, but this is something I won¡¯t back away from. I might be helping you, but I¡¯m doing it for my own reasons. You already know what happened to my mother and some of what was done to me. My father and the people who serve him are all monstrous excuses for humans that need to be brought to justice. People from both sides of the borderland have suffered because of them and their stupid war.¡±

    ¡°Oh-ho, little human,¡± Harlow laughed without a trace of humor in his voice, ¡°I see you¡¯ve gotten braver. Where¡¯s the pale and trembling little boy who was so afraid of us before?¡±

    ¡°Despite what you may think, I was never afraid of you. At least, not because you were beastmen. I was just¡­ afraid. Of everything,¡± I admitted, looking him directly in the eyes as I spoke. ¡°I¡¯d escaped from hell and was terrified that I¡¯d have to go back to it. I had to face the people who committed all of those awful murders, the same people who raped and tortured my mother in front of me, day after day, for years. I was at their mercy for years. After living through that, the only thing that scared me about you was that you might send me back.¡±

    I felt Andrian squeeze my hand under the table. I knew it must be driving him crazy to not jump in and defend me, but I appreciated him letting me handle this. If I couldn¡¯t speak my mind to someone like General Harlow, how could I speak out against my father?

    ¡°So you say,¡± Harlow responded, sounding unconvinced, ¡°but I still have a hard time believing anything that comes out of the mouth of a hu¨C¡±

    ¡°I think that¡¯s enough of that,¡± Shidah interrupted before Harlow could continue, ¡°If you can¡¯t trust Falyn, then trust me. I think I''ve spent enough time with him to know what kind of person he is. I assume that my word is good enough for you?¡±

    ¡°Mine too,¡± Luxania added. ¡°After our trip together to the trading city, I feel confident that Falyn is nothing like what you¡¯re thinking.¡±

    ¡°And mine,¡± Rastari affirmed. ¡°He¡¯ll do as he promised and help bring those humans to justice.¡±

    ¡°Not that it needs to be said, but I have complete faith in my mate. I know better than anyone here that he struggles every day with the weight of his past,¡± Andrian said quietly. ¡°As the others already said, if you can¡¯t trust him, trust us.¡±

    ¡°Bah! Whatever. Have it your way.¡± Harlow gave in and dropped the subject, but he clearly wasn¡¯t happy about it. I doubted there was anything I could do or say that would change his opinion of me.

    As soon as he¡¯d given up, our food and drink arrived, which helped to restore a more pleasant atmosphere to the room. Coraggio, who had looked uncomfortable through that entire exchange, visibly relaxed as we moved on to the discussion of exactly how we would proceed once we were back in Vrayna.

 Chapter Fifty Two

    Later that night, I lay in bed with a full stomach and a heavy heart.

    Our meeting at the tavern with the beast generals ended rather quickly, as it turned out that there really wasn¡¯t much to plan. The Beastlands army had done most of the planning, and all Andrian and I had to do was follow them. Our role was to have our human wedding ceremony and celebrate our second marriage, and only then would it be time for me to reveal myself. We would tell Elantro the truth, but for the Vraynian nobles, I would play the role of the mute until the right occasion arose.

    When we were done with the generals, we went directly to Adelia¡¯s shop to let her know I¡¯d be leaving on the morrow. She hugged me tightly and made me promise I¡¯d come back to work as soon as I returned to the village. I gave her my promise and accepted another hug. I hoped she would miss my company as much as she missed my potions, but I felt just the slightest bit guilty knowing she would have to do so much extra work while I was gone.

    We also went to the school, so Andrian could say goodbye to his students and leave instructions for his staff. While Andrian took care of his work, I went to visit the second year class I¡¯d been training with. Tanys seemed almost distraught at my departure. She made me promise over and over again that we would come back. From my own experiences, I understood that she was projecting the trauma of losing her parents onto Andrian and I, and I did my best to reassure her.

    However, there was a part of me that felt like I was lying to her when I offered that reassurance, given that I was trying to assuage my own anxiety while doing so. I wasn¡¯t going to battle, at least not the way her parents had, but it somehow felt like I was.

    After that, there wasn¡¯t much left for us to do. We¡¯d known this day was coming, so we were pretty much prepared to leave at any time. So we went home and packed our bags with everything we''d need for our upcoming travels, then had dinner with Rastari, Auntie Dorie, and Granny Melena as planned. Watching the two old ladies ordering Rastari around was a nice change from being ordered around. However, whenever the ladies'' backs were turned, Rastari would glare at us with a vengeance in his eyes, and we laughed at his indignation.

    Once the sun had set and dinner was over, we bid everyone goodnight and went downstairs to spend one last night in our home.

    As we settled under the covers, all of the emotions I¡¯d been suppressing throughout the day fought their way to the surface of my thoughts. I had to go back. Even knowing I¡¯d have Andrian at my side, I was scared. I didn¡¯t feel ready.

    ¡°Andri,¡± I whispered, ¡°can I really do this?¡±

    ¡°Do what?¡± he asked, shifting his body to face me. Then, with a cheeky smile, just barely visible in the moonlight, ¡°Go to sleep?¡±

    Despite myself, I smiled at his silly question. ¡°I doubt I¡¯ll be able to do that either... Now that we''re about to leave, I¡¯m so scared I can¡¯t even think straight.¡±

    ¡°What are you afraid of? You know I won¡¯t let anything happen to you,¡± Andrian assured me. ¡°There¡¯s a lot of enemies, but the person with the most power is on our side. Elantro might not be King yet, but I don¡¯t think your father would dare act against him. Even that asshole Eduard heeds his brother¡¯s will. And if all else fails, the Beastlands army will protect you too.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not as simple as all that though,¡± I told him. ¡°I''m afraid I''ll become the person I was back then. Someone broken, mute, and terrified. Going back there, it feels like going back to that and¡­ You know what it was like for me there. I''m afraid of more than just my father. There''s also that man. The one I told you about before.¡±

    ¡°You know, I¡¯m certain it could be arranged that I personally castrate that bastard for you,¡± Andrian offered with a dangerous glint in his eyes. He still hadn¡¯t heard the worst of it, but he knew enough that I didn¡¯t doubt his words. ¡°Or you could do it yourself, if you prefer. When this is all over, I''ll make his mangled corpse my present to you. And before that, I promise I won¡¯t let him touch you.¡±

    ¡°Even if he can¡¯t touch me, the thought of having to be near him again makes me feel sick inside. I¡¯m not afraid of what he¡¯ll do, I¡¯m afraid of what he¡¯s already done and how it makes me feel. It¡¯s the same with my father. I¡¯m afraid of feeling that way again. Worthless, helpless, pathetic. And now I have to stand in front of them and everyone else, and I have to admit how much they hurt me,¡± I felt my eyes welling up with tears as I spoke. ¡°I understand that they¡¯re the ones who did something wrong, but¡­ I¡¯m ashamed of what I let them do to me.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t let them do anything. Everything you experienced, everything you felt, and everything you still feel, it¡¯s not something to be ashamed of. You can stand in front of them with pride, because they tried to break you and they failed,¡± Andrian took my face in his hands and looked into my eyes. ¡°You won. They hurt you and you overcame it. It just proves how amazing you are.¡±

    For a moment, I was rendered speechless. Those words penetrated my heart and the tears I¡¯d been trying to hold back overflowed. Andrian¡¯s hands released my face so he could pull me into his arms. As I unabashedly sobbed in his arms, I once again appreciated how lucky I was that Andrian had found me. Who else could find a way to turn my worst shame into my pride?

    ¡°I¨CI love you so much,¡± I gasped, burying my face in his neck, which was wet from my tears. ¡°Promise me. Promise me you¡¯ll never leave me. Now that I know what it¡¯s like to be with you, I can¡¯t ever live without you.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not going anywhere,¡± he promised, ¡°I¡¯m yours, remember? I could never leave you.¡±

    ¡°Mine?¡± I looked up at him hopefully. He¡¯d said it so many times before, but I needed to hear it again and again. I needed to know that he was entirely mine.

    ¡°All yours. Forever. I belong to you body and soul,¡± he vowed, taking my simple question seriously, as he did every time I asked it.

    My tears had stopped flowing, and I sat up, wiping the remnants away. I smiled at him through bleary eyes and said, ¡°Don¡¯t forget it. You belong to me and no one else.¡±

    ¡°How could I ever forget?¡± he asked, sitting up and taking my face in his hands once more. ¡°I¡¯m Falyn¡¯s Andri.¡± He kissed my lips tenderly. ¡°Falyn¡¯s mate.¡± He kissed me again, deeper this time. ¡°I belong to you.¡±

    When he kissed me again, I grabbed onto the back of his head to make sure he didn¡¯t pull away again. Our tongues entwined and we lost ourselves in each other¡¯s touch; tears turned into comfort, which turned into something else entirely. He stroked my ear with his fingertips and a shudder ran through my body.

    Suddenly, I was underneath him, pressed into the bed by his weight above me.

    ¡°Andri¡­¡± I breathed his name when he released my lips for a moment. ¡°Mine. My Andri.¡±

    ¡°Mmm, yes, I¡¯m all yours,¡± he murmured as his lips traced the same path as his fingers had. My head felt tingly as his voice sounded in my ear and his breath tickled my skin.

    ¡°Kiss me,¡± I demanded, emboldened by the heat that radiated between us.

    ¡°As my Falyn commands,¡± he said before moving his lips back to my mouth. He pressed his lips to mine, slow and gentle, a very chaste kiss compared to the one before it. He pulled away and asked, ¡°What else does my Falyn command?¡±

    ¡°More. Kiss me mo¨C¡± My words were cut off as he complied with my demands. This time, there was nothing chaste about the way he gripped my jaw tightly, forcing my lips to part for his invading tongue. My fingers dug into his hair and I opened my mouth wide to accept him. He kissed me like he was eating me and I responded in kind, tightening my grip on his hair so I could control his movements.

    Small moans escaped from him, as I caressed the roof of his mouth and traced the shape of his teeth. The tip of my tongue grazed his sharp, fanged canine and I felt a sharp pain. The taste of copper invaded our kiss, which Andrian swallowed down, releasing a low guttural sound from his throat as he sucked the blood from my wound.

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    His intense, animal reaction made my heart pound in anticipation as a rush of pleasurable fear ran through me. I felt like I was his prey, yet somehow I was the one asking to be eaten. It was a thrilling feeling, to be helpless under him, yet knowing he would never truly hurt me.

    ¡°Mmm, you have no idea how good you smell right now,¡± he growled, shoving his nose into my neck. ¡°You make me want to eat you up.¡± I shuddered as he breathed heavily into my neck, licking my skin hungrily.

    I writhed against him and he pinned my arms above my head. Pulling away from my neck, Andrian hovered above me, watching me with predatory eyes. My lower body had already begun to react to him. I was torn between wanting to be devoured and wanting to tame the beast before me.

    I struggled fruitlessly against his hold on my arms and pressed my lower half against him, not hiding the blatant desire in my gaze. After what we''d just talked about, a part of me felt that giving my control away to Andrian would put me one step further away from the things that I feared. Every part of me I gave to him was a part of me that they failed to take away.

    Leaving one hand free to hold my hands, he caressed my sides and chest. His gentle touches were a sharp contrast to the unyielding grip he had on my hands and his devastating kisses. I fought against his grip, constantly trying to free my arms, but I definitely didn¡¯t want him to stop. It was a dangerous game we were playing, one that I wasn¡¯t sure I would win. I wasn''t sure I wanted to win. The slight thrill of fear I felt with every touch only served to heighten my response to him. He¡¯d never been like this with me before. I wanted more.

    Andrian finally released my mouth again and I gasped for air. He chuckled and asked me, ¡°Is my Falyn pleased with his mate? What can I do to please you more? Command me and I will obey.¡±

    ¡°D-don¡¯t stop,¡± I whispered, averting my eyes. It was embarrassing to say out loud, but I knew from experience that I had to say it out loud for him to continue.

    ¡°What don¡¯t you want me to stop? Do you like it when I touch you, when I kiss you?¡± He leaned in close again and licked my earlobe before tickling my ear with his voice, ¡°or do you like it when I hold you down like this?¡±

    ¡°All of it. I like all of it. Please?¡± My face was completely red as I looked at him with pleading eyes. I wanted him to make me forget all my unpleasant thoughts. I didn¡¯t want to think about Vrayna or the horrors of my past, I just wanted to lose myself in his embrace.

    Suddenly my hands were free and I heard the sound of fabric being ripped. By the time I realized he¡¯d torn off a piece of our bedsheet, he was already using it to bind my wrists together. I waged an inner war with myself, half of me aroused and the other half trembling as he tied me up, leaving me helpless before him.

    ¡°Keep your arms above your head,¡± he instructed when he was done. ¡°If you don¡¯t like something, lower your arms and we stop. I won¡¯t do anything you don¡¯t like, but if you get scared or change your mind, just lower your arms. Otherwise, no matter what you say, I won¡¯t stop.¡±

    Andrian reached over, opened a drawer in the bedside table, and took out a bottle of oil from inside. My heart pounded rapidly when I saw the small bottle in his hands. We hadn¡¯t used such a thing since the night of our joining. We¡¯d been intimate many times, but we always finished before we got to that point.

    I carefully tested my restraints and discovered I was tied too tightly to get free of my accord. He promised he¡¯d stop if I lowered my arms, but for the first time, I had nothing I could do if he ignored me. Before I had a chance to think too much about the situation, he was already sucking and biting my chest.

    He pulled off the loose fitting pants I¡¯d put on to sleep. His mouth swiftly moved lower, and in a single motion, he unhesitantly swallowed my already straining erection deep into his throat.

    I gasped and moaned in response, ¡°Hnng, Andri, so¨C so good, ah!¡±

    He began to move his head with fast, rough motions, twirling his touch around my tip each time he came up before taking my entire length back down his throat. We quickly found a rhythm with me thrusting my hips up to match his movements. I wrapped my legs around his head, trying to push even deeper into his mouth. Right as I was reaching my peak, he grabbed my hips and held me in place, his face pressed tightly into my abdomen.

    I cried out loud as I released deep into his throat. Somehow, despite how desperately I wanted to hold onto his head, I¡¯d managed to not move my hands from where Andrian had left them. If I had, he might have stopped. The intensity of dividing my attention between keeping my hands in place and feeling what his mouth was doing to my body overwhelmed me. The world went white and static for a moment, and I was left panting on the bed, basking in the afterglow.

    I didn¡¯t have long to recover before Andrian was straddling my chest and I was face to face with his own arousal. Pinned by his weight and bound at the wrists, I had nowhere to escape as he pressed his tip against my mouth and coaxed me, ¡°Falyn, don¡¯t you want to devour me too? Open those pretty lips for me.¡±

    I wrapped my lips around him and slowly took part of his length into my mouth. From the angle I was at, there was no way I could take him as deeply as he took me, so I alternated between licking up and down his length and taking him as deep into my mouth as I dared. His careful movements as he rubbed against the roof of my mouth felt so good, and I felt my lower half begin to recover its energy.

    Andrian took the bottle and poured some oil onto his fingers, reaching around to his backside. I couldn¡¯t see what he was doing, but I instinctively knew he was getting himself ready for me. That knowledge encouraged my movements and I fought to fit more of him into my mouth. He groaned above me before pulling away, freeing my lips so I could speak.

    ¡°Can I¡­ is it okay if I hold your wrists down? And, uh, be a little less gentle?¡± he asked in a raspy and hesitant voice.

    Looking up at him, flushed and desperate, but holding back so he didn¡¯t scare me, I couldn¡¯t say no. I nodded my head ever so slightly. He grabbed my wrists roughly, but his voice was gentle, ¡°Say it out loud. Tell me you want this. We can stop here if you don''t.¡±

    ¡°I want it,¡± I answered automatically, mesmerized by his voice.

    ¡°You¡¯ll have no way to tell me to stop¡­¡± he warned me, but his eyes filled with something animalistic that I¡¯d never seen in them before. It seemed he was giving me one last chance to push him away.

    ¡°That¡¯s okay, cause I don¡¯t plan on telling you to stop,¡± I told him, straining to lift my head so I could graze his tip with my tongue. A shiver ran through his body and he pushed a pillow under my head to keep it elevated before pressing his hard length back into my mouth. The added pillow changed the angle enough that he could safely push deeper than before, past my gagging point, and into my throat. I took calm deep breaths as he continued pressing into me, relaxing myself and breathing around him. He waited for a moment to make sure I was getting enough air before starting to move his hips in a shallow motion. Even though his movements were small and still relatively gentle, the sensation was far more intense than I was used to. His eyes never left my face.

    From there, I lost myself in his painfully tight grip on my wrists and the feel of him sliding in and out of my throat. The hand that was loosening his rear was still moving, and the anticipation of what would come next left me bucking my hips and twisting my body beneath him. His voice grew ragged as he moaned above me, before he suddenly slid himself out of my throat and the weight on my chest shifted downwards.

    He poured more oil from the bottle and began rubbing it all over my shaft. In a low voice he said, ¡°I was worried that might be too much for you, but it looks like I was wrong. Did my Falyn enjoy that?¡±

    ¡°Mmm, yes, I like it,¡± I responded, my words coming out between gasps of pleasure. His slick hand felt so good, yet it wasn¡¯t enough. I needed more. Something more intense. ¡°Andri, I want¨C ah, I want to be inside you.¡±

    ¡°As my Falyn commands.¡± His hand stopped moving and held me in place. He shifted his hips and pressed my tip against his opening. Then slowly, so slowly it was almost painful, he lowered his hips and accepted me inside of him. When my tip had fully penetrated the outer ring of muscle, we both let out a sigh before he lowered his hips further.

    Once I was fully encased in his warmth, Andrian remained still for a moment, letting his body adjust to my invasion. Then he grabbed my bound wrists tightly with both hands and started moving his body above me. He pressed his forehead against mine and stared deep into my eyes as I struggled to free myself from his grip. It wasn¡¯t that actually I wanted to escape him, I just couldn''t help but struggle against my restraints. It felt me feeling wild and breathless.

    Both our movements increased and the sound of flesh meeting flesh grew louder and louder. As the pleasure between us built, one of Andrian¡¯s hands moved from holding my wrists so he could stroke himself as he rode me.

    ¡°Harder,¡± he gasped, ¡°deeper, harder.¡±

    I took him at his word and doubled my efforts, feeling his insides twitching around me. It was more intense and rough than before, but it felt better than I could have imagined. I couldn¡¯t think of anything but forcing my way deeper inside him. Harder, rougher, faster, my hips and his hand moving in time until I felt a warm liquid spill onto my stomach and Andrian tightened around me as he roared. I lost the last bit of control I had and released inside of him, my second climax overshadowing the first in its intensity.

    We remained connected for another moment before Andrian climbed off and laid down beside me on the bed. He immediately pulled me into his arms, kissing my face and whispering endearments into my ears. As my consciousness faded, all I could hear was his voice telling me over and over again that he loved me and that he was mine. I forgot all about my worries and drifted away, wrapped in Andrian¡¯s warm affection.

    We departed the village early the next morning, just as the sun was rising.

 Chapter Fifty Three

    By the first light of dawn, the army was already packed and ready to leave. Andrian and I had barely slept, but we both felt refreshed and perhaps a little more at ease than before. I was amazed at the comfort I¡¯d found in letting go of my fears and relinquishing control. I felt like I was ready to conquer anything the Vraynian nobility could throw at me. I wasn''t ready to say the same for my father, but I was ready to try.

    As we were leaving, I discovered that Andrian had requested that Vargas be temporarily reassigned so that he could accompany us to Vrayna. He seemed to know that the time we spent together was as much friendship as it was therapy. At first I was worried that Andrian might be bothered by this, but instead of being jealous, he told me he was glad I had someone to talk to and not to worry about him misunderstanding.

    The journey from the lion village to the borderland passed quickly, and before I knew it, we had crossed over into eastern Vrayna. My homeland felt unfamiliar to me, even though I¡¯d only been gone a few moon cycles. Unlike the vast jungle that surrounded the lion village, which somehow remained green all year round, the trees in eastern Vrayna had already begun their seasonal change. The green leaves were tinged with the yellows and oranges that marked the coming of autumn, though the heat of summer had yet to dissipate. We bypassed the city of Shelfort and entered the great forest that surrounded the capital city of Luz Dorada.

    Over the course of our travels, I had the opportunity to get to know quite a few of the soldiers we traveled with. Most of them remembered me from before, but due to the circumstances of my departure from Vrayna, we had never spoken to each other. At first they were wary of me, both a human and a general¡¯s mate, but it didn¡¯t take long before they were treating me as one of their own. At least, most of them were.

    The cat beastmen and many of the beastmen from the south embraced me with open arms and treated me as a friend, but the wolf beastmen kept their distance. Harlow had made his feelings clear, and their feelings seemed to mirror his. While Coraggio, the other wolf general, was always welcoming and friendly toward me, he was the only wolf who was.

    I didn¡¯t particularly mind though. It was the same in the village; there were simply some people whose opinions couldn¡¯t be changed. I know it sounds strange, but their hostility was almost comforting, because I knew they wouldn''t hurt me. There was a large grey area between like and hatred that I hadn''t ever experienced before.

    The first night in the great forest, we camped in a large clearing the army had discovered during their last journey through. When I traveled with a smaller group, everyone had to share in the work, and there was always more work to be done. With a larger group, such a the one we were with, there were people who were there solely to cook, build fires, or tend to the horses. I¡¯d never appreciated how pleasant it was to have someone else to do the chores before that. I may not have been treated well by my father, but I''d never had to do servant¡¯s work. Now such treatment felt like a luxury, not a right of birth. From the perspective of some, however, it may not have seemed that way.

    ¡°Looks like the oh so noble human expects to be served here too.¡±

    I was sitting around the fire with some of the cat beastmen, and Vargas had arrived carrying a bowl from the common pot for each of us. A group of wolf soldiers were passing us by as he handed me my portion before sitting down next to me. We both stiffened at the sound of the voice behind us.

    ¡°Of course he does,¡± a different voice replied, ¡°probably too weak to carry his bowl that far anyways.¡±

    ¡°Hey human,¡± the first wolf called out, ¡°are you too weak to carry it yourself or do you need a servant to stroke your noble ego?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t even bother responding,¡± Vargas advised me, ¡°he¡¯s just looking for a fight.¡±

    ¡°What about you, Vargas? You chasing after the general¡¯s sloppy seconds or what?¡± the wolf asked him, ¡°I can¡¯t figure out why else you¡¯d put up with him.¡±

    Vargas gritted his teeth. ¡°Actually, I wasn¡¯t putting up with anything until you showed up. Feel free to continue on. Go on. Shoo.¡± He made a dismissive gesture and shoved a bite of food into his mouth.

    ¡°Why? So you can fawn all over the precious little human some more?¡± The wolf seemed determined to start a fight, but Vargas ignored him and focused on his food. ¡°What do you think, human, if I serve you some food, do I get a piece of that ass too?¡±

    I knew Vargas had told me not to respond, but I couldn¡¯t seem to hold back and told him, ¡°Sorry, I¡¯m not into dogs.¡±

    I instantly regretted my words as the wolf took a step toward me and raised his hand as if to strike me. It seemed I¡¯d hit a nerve. I flinched and closed my eyes, preparing myself for a painful blow, but his fist never landed. When I opened my eyes, I saw Harlow standing there with a white knuckled grip on the soldier¡¯s wrist.

    ¡°What do you think you¡¯re doing?¡± he asked in an icy voice.

    ¡°Sir! I¡¯m sorry sir,¡± the wolf immediately apologized, ¡°I acted on instinct and went a little too far.¡±

    ¡°A little?¡± Harlow asked, still gripping the soldier¡¯s hand, "Attacking the person we''re escorting is more than a little." I doubted the general cared about what happened to me, but he wasn''t going to let his subordinate act out either.

    ¡°He called me a dog, sir. I have a right to be angry. That human¡¯s been acting all high and mighty and¨C ah!¡± He couldn¡¯t continue his tirade because Harlow twisted his arm viciously.

    ¡°Why are we doing all this?¡± Harlow asked in a menacing voice.

    ¡°To make peace with the humans, sir,¡± the wolf replied in a strained voice, pain evident in his increasingly pale face.

    ¡°So do you think that battering the face of the human who will help us make peace is going to help our cause?¡± Harlow continued, twisting the wolf¡¯s arm even further.

    ¡°No sir, I¡¯m sorry sir,¡± he apologized desperately and Harlow released his arm. Relief was evident on the soldier''s face, but he still glared in my direction, unhappy with this turn of events.

    ¡°Now,¡± Harlow added with an unpleasant smile, ¡°let¡¯s resolve this according to proper procedure. Lieutenant Jerran, you claim he insulted you, yes?¡± Harlow¡¯s smile widened as the soldier came to an understanding and nodded. ¡°Falyn, the lieutenant here is claiming insult. Do you claim the same?¡±

    I somehow felt like I¡¯d been trapped. I looked to Vargas for an explanation, ¡°What does claiming insult mean?¡±

    ¡°It means a challenge. Kind of like when you¡¯ve seen us shift and fight for fun. Wrestling, not a real fight. No claws, no biting, and you fight in front of everyone. The winner can demand something from the loser as compensation. You can choose to decline and walk away, but not claiming insult back would be like admitting you¡¯re in the wrong,¡± Vargas advised. I noticed that he made it sound like I''d only watched the lions fight for fun.

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    I thought about it for a moment, sizing up the wolf in front of me. In his human form, he would be the clear victor. A few moon cycles of training was nothing compared to his years of experience in the battlefield. However, in his beast form, he would be the one at a disadvantage. Thanks to Vargas, I was certain that he would underestimate my abilities, and I was going to use that against him.

    ¡°What could he demand from me if I lose?¡± I asked.

    ¡°If you lose? You actually think you stand a chance at beating me?¡± Lieutenant Jerran scoffed. ¡°I¡¯ll go easy on you, little human. If I win, you can kiss my feet and admit you¡¯re nothing but a weak, entitled, little bitch.¡±

    He had no idea that I had plenty of practice wrestling with the lions, and the punishment he demanded was one I could live with. I¡¯d come a long way from the frightened boy I once was and I felt confident that I wouldn¡¯t lose.

    ¡°Fine, but what if I win?¡± I asked him.

    The wolf laughed scornfully and said, ¡°You won¡¯t. The problem with you humans is that you act all high and mighty when you¡¯re clearly the weaker, inferior species.¡±

    ¡°Then, since you don¡¯t think I stand a chance, you won¡¯t mind agreeing to be this inferior human¡¯s servant when you lose?¡± I met his eyes with determination. I had no desire to make him do anything for me, but I did want to make him regret his words. ¡°Only until we reach the city, of course.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t lose, so fine, I agree,¡± he spat at me.

    General Harlow looked a little too pleased with himself. I doubted this was a battle he expected me to win. He¡¯d protected me from being hit by the soldier, but he was clearly enjoying causing me trouble as well.

    Before we could proceed any further, Andrian appeared at my side, looking like he was ready to rip someone apart. In a camp of this size, word traveled fast enough that he was already on his way to me while we were deciding the terms.

    His voice was low and full of hostility as he asked, ¡°Who the hell is claiming insult of my mate?¡±

    ¡°I am,¡± Lieutenant Jarren answered him, holding his ground in the face of Andrian¡¯s wrath. ¡°He called me a dog.¡±

    Andrian looked at me in surprise and I told him honestly, ¡°He asked if he could get a piece of my ass, so I told him I¡¯m not into dogs.¡±

    Andrian burst out laughing at my explanation. It seemed he now realized that I''d had some hand in creating this mess and was neither upset nor afraid. When his laughter had calmed, he pulled me close, kissed me, and said, ¡°Have fun then.¡±

    ¡°Wait, you¡¯re not actually okay with this, are you?¡± General Harlow asked, looking surprised.

    "Did you expect me to swoop in and stop it?¡± Andrian asked back. ¡°Why would I? Falyn can take care of himself. I doubt your dog knows what he¡¯s in for.¡±

    The lieutenant looked like he wanted to say something more, but thought better of it. My confidence soared when Andrian said I could take care of myself. Just like when we went monster hunting, if Andrian believed in me, then I could believe in myself. Only this time, there was much less risk involved. I almost felt guilty since the wolf lieutenant seemed to take this seriously, but I was only looking at it as a fun challenge. The guilt disappeared when I remembered how he¡¯d spoken to me earlier. It was all right for him to criticize me for being a human noble, but I didn''t like that he insinuated that I was unfaithful to Andrian.

    An area was cleared, and a surprising amount of soldiers had crowded around to watch. They were drinking and having a good time. Some soldiers were making casual bets and treating it like an event. I heard enough to realize that even the soldiers who were cheering me on were also betting against me.

    ¡°Alright boys,¡± Harlow said to us, ¡°Jarren already knows the rules but I¡¯ll explain them all for our human friend. No teeth, no claws, and just in case, no weapons. Might against might only. No causing intentional damage but accidents and bruises happen. Winner is determined by successfully pinning your opponent. Normally, you can admit defeat by shifting back to human form, but since you can¡¯t shift, we''re adding an additional rule. You can shout ¡®mercy¡¯ if you wish to surrender.¡± He wore a smug smile on his face as he explained that last rule. Then he asked, ¡°Any questions?¡±

    I shook my head. It was exactly the same as how the lions played.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you think it¡¯s a little unfair to make a human fight one of us in beast form?¡± Rastari¡¯s voice sounded from off to the side. "I don''t like this one bit."

    ¡°He¡¯ll be fine,¡± Harlow dismissed Rastari''s concerns, ¡°Falyn knew what he was getting into. The worst that''ll happen to him is getting pinned. The only part of him that Jerran will hurt is his pride.¡±

    ¡°Ras,¡± I cut in before they could argue about it, ¡°I had everything explained to me before I agreed. Trust me. I have no intention of losing, but I''ll be fine if I do."

    Rastari met my eyes and whatever he saw in them convinced him. Both he and Harlow backed away and Lieutenant Jerran shifted into his wolf form. He was a little bit larger than I''d expected, given his average stature, but he was still smaller than Vargas¡¯s lion by a reasonable margin. The wolf growled menacingly, but I could tell it was a posturing growl. He would follow the rules.

    Before I could get into a defensive posture, he¡¯d already leapt at me. I just barely managed to move my body in time to avoid him and stay on my feet. He was fast. Faster than what I was used to. Similar to Andrian when he was a cub. It had been a long time since I¡¯d had an opponent that was smaller than me. I smiled and adjusted my stance.

    When he attacked the second time, I was prepared and threw myself backwards right as he pounced on me, using the momentum to land favorably and flip us over so that I was on top. He immediately got out from under me and stood back, watching me. He issued a low growl, clearly taking me more seriously now.

    He leapt at me again, and I took the hit, using his momentum against him. He expected it this time and took control before I could pin him. We rolled around, grappling for a moment, and this time I was the one who had to escape. I wanted to take the initiative and attack first, but he was on me again before I could adjust. Back on the ground, I used the tactics my younger self had used against a much smaller Andrian. I took advantage of my longer limbs and used my legs more.

    The crowd had grown quiet as they watched us struggle. Again and again, he attack before I could recover from our last grapple. We''d struggle for a while, then whoever was about to be pinned would break free. It went on long enough that I was sweating and short of breath. The wolf¡¯s attacks were getting slower and less effective as his endurance wore down.

    I summoned my last bit of energy and took advantage of his slowed movements to make my first proactive attack. If I failed this time, I¡¯d run out of stamina and the victory would be his. Surprised by my sudden burst of speed, the wolf didn¡¯t defend properly against my attack, and I managed to grab one of its legs and twist it behind him. I hoped I had guessed correctly and it was the arm Harlow had twisted earlier.

    Almost instantly, he shifted back to human form to avoid further damage to his arm. For a moment there was no sound other than us both panting from the effort of our fight, then I heard him mutter, ¡°Well shit,¡± from beneath me. Shifting back to human form meant he¡¯d given up and I was the winner.

    I released his arm and stood up. He stood up after me, spitting sideways on the ground, looking very displeased with his situation. I heard roaring cheers erupt from Andrian, Vargas, and the lions they¡¯d secretly advised to bet in my favor. General Harlow looked as if he¡¯d swallowed a bug.

    ¡°I know I said I¡¯d make you my servant if you lost,¡± I said to Jarren, ¡°but I really don¡¯t want to deal with having you around me that much.¡±

    ¡°So what are you going to demand instead?¡± he asked sullenly.

    ¡°Nothing,¡± I replied. ¡°I don¡¯t want anything from you. I just wanted to beat you. I wasn¡¯t in the wrong and I wasn¡¯t going to let you intimidate me. I don¡¯t know why you felt like you needed to pick a fight with me in the first place, but I hope you''re done with it now.¡±

    I felt a pair of arms wrap around me from behind and heard Andrian¡¯s voice say, ¡°Did I ever tell you that my mate was the one who taught me how to wrestle when I was cub. He also fights with the lions in the village. He''s an even match for Vargas over there. So, if he can take on a lion, then wouldn''t a yapping dog like you be easy? And don''t ever let me hear you say anything about getting a piece of his ass. Next time, it¡¯ll be me who claims the insult.¡±

    The wolf¡¯s face hardened, but his voice was calm as he said, ¡°Understood, sir.¡±

    After that, I found myself receiving random but friendly challenges from the cat beastmen who wanted to see if they could beat me. Rastari was particularly determined to challenge me. However, for that night at least, the one fight was all I could manage. I made some shallow promises about future nights and left with Andrian to return to our tent.

 Chapter Fifty Four

    The following evening, Rastari got his match with me. Naturally, I lost. In his tiger form, Rastari was enormous, and I was absolutely no match for him. However, unlike the previous night, I had fun wrestling with the giant cat.

    My loss to Rastari didn¡¯t dampen the enthusiasm of the others who wanted to try wrestling with me, and I ended up taking on two more opponents before I was done. One was a snake beastman who wrapped himself around me like a boa constrictor until I conceded, and the other was another tiger, smaller than Rastari, who admitted defeat early on. There were other challengers too, but after a day on the road and three matches in a row, I was too tired to continue.

    But it seemed that my fight with the lieutenant named Jarren had inspired the fighting spirit of the soldiers I traveled with, and soon the entire camp was taking turns challenging each other. The beastman who started it, Lieutenant Jarren, kept out of sight. I heard through a rumor that he was staying in his tent because his pride was too wounded to show his face. I couldn¡¯t be certain if it was true, but I hoped it was.

    The night ended with Andrian claiming that we had a different kind of wrestling to do, and carrying me away to our tent. But once we were there, we simply got changed and climbed into our makeshift bed. In the morning, we would exit the forest, and enter the slums of Luz Dorada by mid afternoon. A Vraynian delegation was supposed to meet on the outskirts of the city and escort us to the Golden Palace, but since our arrival time wasn¡¯t set in stone, it was possible we would have to wait in the slums for as long as a few days. Most of the army would have to wait there for the duration of our stay.

    As they had last time, the beastmen had brought additional food to be distributed to the local population. To my surprise, it was the wolves who disdained humans the most that would be in charge of the effort. In fact, both the wolf generals who had fought on the Vraynian front lines had insisted it must be done. General Harlow, for all of his animosity toward the human nobility, couldn¡¯t stand to see a human child suffer any more than he could a beast cub.

    Laying in bed in our tent that night, I snuggled up a little bit closer to Andrian than normal. For all my bravado, I felt restless and anxious about what the next day would bring. My life in the Beastlands wasn¡¯t perfect, but it was a better life than I¡¯d dared hope for, and I didn¡¯t want to lose it. I had friends, a mate who loved me, and I was proud of my skills as an apprentice shaman. In the Beastlands, I could just be Falyn and live my life in peace.

    Tomorrow, I would have to become Julien de Ramport once again. Even though we were the same person, I still thought of Julien as someone else, an alter ego I¡¯d created to survive. I didn¡¯t want to be Julien again. He was an empty shell, void of the memories and emotions that made me Falyn. Even if it was just an act, it felt wrong and unsettling.

    "Do you want to talk about it?" Andrian asked without any preamble, as if he sensed my discomfort.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I replied before letting out a melancholy sigh. ¡°I¡¯m just overthinking."

    "Sounds like something you''d do," Andrian teased, drawing a small smile out of me.

    "I guess I do feel like talking," I admitted, suddenly wanting to unload, "You know, all this time I''ve been preparing to face my father, but now I''m feeling apprehensive. Not because of my father, but because of me. I¡¯m afraid of regressing. If I don¡¯t talk and start acting like Julien... will I become him again?¡±

    ¡°Would it make you feel better if I told you that I love that part of you too?¡± Andrian inquired in a teasing voice.

    ¡°Would it make you feel better if I told you that I love every part of you, including the part you call Julien?¡± Andrian inquired, pressing his forehead against mine and gazing lovingly into my eyes.

    Despite my inner struggle, I couldn''t help but smile at his question as I answered, ¡°Yes, it would. Everything about you makes me feel better.¡± I fell silent, then elaborated, ¡°With you by my side, I¡¯m not afraid of them anymore. I know I can face my father, the Second Prince, and even Albrecht, as long as you¡¯re next to me when I do it. But what I''m most afraid of is myself. I worked so hard to leave the person I was behind, and now I have to pretend to be him. What if I get lost in the act?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re thinking about it all wrong again,¡± Andrian informed me, ¡°I don¡¯t know everything about what you¡¯ve experienced or what goes on inside that head of yours, but I know you. Whether you call yourself Falyn or Julien, you¡¯re still you. All of your experiences, good and bad, are a part of the man I love, and the progress you¡¯ve made can¡¯t be erased. They might call you a different name, or you might be reminded of the past you¡¯re trying to get away from, but that won¡¯t change who you¡¯ve become.¡±

    ¡°Do you really think so?¡± I asked him in a trembling voice. I hadn''t realized how much I needed his reassurance. ¡°When I partitioned my mind, I locked away almost everything that made me who I was. You¡¯re right that it doesn¡¯t matter if they call me Julien or Falyn, but I¡¯m stuck in a loop of worrying that I might forget again. No matter how many times I convince myself I¡¯m okay, those feelings keep coming back. I don¡¯t want to lose myself again.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t lose yourself though. Remember, we¡¯ve been joined by the spirits. Even our souls are connected. So if you can¡¯t hold on, I can hold on for you. If you start to forget, I can help you remember.¡± He held me close as he reminded me that we were two parts of the same whole. ¡°If you need to be reminded of that every day for the rest of our lives, then I¡¯ll be here to remind you. You''re not alone anymore.¡±

    My response was lost in the rush of tears that spilled from my eyes. I wasn''t alone. Those words would always be the most beautiful words he could ever say to me. Andrian held me until I¡¯d run out of tears to cry. When I was done, my eyes were puffy and sore, but I felt as if the burden I¡¯d been carrying had once again been lifted.

    Late the next morning, we left the forest and began passing through the farmland that surrounded the capital. My body felt heavy, but my heart felt surprisingly light. I¡¯d fallen asleep shortly after my tears had stopped, but it was a fitful sleep that didn¡¯t leave me rested. Sometimes it felt like every time I took a step forward, I immediately took a step back. I had held myself together so well during our travels, and I was embarrassed that I¡¯d faltered.

    Andrian didn¡¯t say anything to me about the previous night, as if knowing that checking on me would do more harm than good. It was better to let it go and focus on what was to come, rather than what had already happened. I needed to have faith in Andrian and I needed to have faith in myself. The former was far easier than the latter.

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    We passed through the farmlands quickly, not encountering anyone on the open road. Soon the golden city of Luz Dorada became visible on the horizon. The last time I¡¯d entered the city, I was escorted in chains by the Second Prince. Back then, I was terrified that I would never leave those looming golden gates. Now, here I was, entering the city surrounded by people who would protect me, no longer a scared prisoner with no future to speak of. It made my anxieties from the night before seem trivial in light of how much my circumstances had changed.

    In less than a movement, we were entering into the slums that were scattered around the city. The farthest edges of the slums had a lot of open space and it was the perfect space for the beast army to set up their camp; an open area with nothing but dirt and some small weeds growing, right next to the main road. It was the same location they had used the first time, and it was where the human delegates would come looking for us. It seemed that we had arrived first, as there was no one there to greet us.

    That, in itself, was a relief. The chances of my father''s men being sent to escort us were slim, as I didn''t think the First Prince would have allowed it, but the thought of them waiting for my arrival filled me with dread.

    The beast army began to set up their camp and soon the residents of the outer slums, noticing the disruption, started to gather on the edges of our camp. They didn¡¯t come any closer, watching us from a safe distance, until a few brave children emerged from the growing crowd of onlookers and approached. Two small children, underweight and clad in rags, walked bravely toward us. I recognized them as the boys who¡¯d asked to ride on Shidah¡¯s back the last time we were here.

    ¡°Um, excuse me,¡± one of the boys said to the first beastman they saw, ¡°is big brother bear with you again?¡±

    The child, who hadn¡¯t grown nearly as much as he should have, looked at the wolf beastman with bright, hopeful eyes.

    ¡°Well, I guess that depends on which big bear brother you¡¯re looking for,¡± the wolf told them with a gentle smile. ¡°Do you know his name? There¡¯s a lot of bear brothers here.¡±

    ¡°He was the biggest bear brother!¡± the other one exclaimed, holding out his arms to show how big he was and jumping up and down.

    ¡°Yeah, he was as big as my house and he let us ride him even though we¡¯re small!¡± the first one added earnestly. I secretly smiled as I watched their fearless enthusiasm. Yes, this was the way things could have been. How things could still be, if we succeeded in what we came here to do.

    I wanted to tell the soldier that they were looking for Shidah, but now that there were other humans around, I was supposed to keep quiet. But the soldier seemed to realize who they meant without my interference, as he suddenly said, ¡°You must mean General Shidah. He¡¯s around here somewhere, but¡­ wouldn¡¯t you guys like something to eat before we go find him?¡±

    At the mention of food, the children forgot all about Shidah and the soldier dug into his bag, producing a couple of trail cookies. Trail cookies were a popular ration made from honey, nuts, and sun dried fruit. As soon as he handed them the cookies, the children greedily stuffed them into their mouths. It reminded me of my own eating habits when I first arrived at the Palace; eating as fast as I could, in case the food disappeared before I was done. The children''s stuffed cheeks and shining eyes brought a small smile to my face.

    As the rest of the crowd began to realize that it was alright to approach, a couple of the wolf beastmen began handing out more of the trail cookies to the kids who came running up. The fires were already burning, and tasks were divided up amongst the remaining wolves. Some were adding water to common pots on the fire, while others chopped vegetables and indiscriminately tossed them into the boiling pots.

    There were only twelve wolves present, but everyone knew their job and it was not long before several pots of a simple vegetable soup were simmering away. They passed out bowl after bowl to the hungry masses as soon as it was ready. With nothing else to do, I cautiously whispered to Andrian that I wanted to help, and approached the group of wolves who were making flatbread to go with the soup.

    To my dismay, I realized it was Lieutenant Jarren who was in charge of the bread making, but he saw me approaching before I could change my mind and turn around. The hostility in his eyes had diminished a little since the last time I saw him. I wondered if I¡¯d unintentionally beaten some of the hatred out of him the other night.

    ¡°What do you want?¡± he asked in a gruff voice. He wasn¡¯t much friendlier than before, but at least he didn¡¯t immediately turn me away.

    I pointed at my throat, gestured to the people around us, and shook my head. He should have been aware I couldn¡¯t speak with other humans around, but I did my best to convey a reminder, just in case he''d forgotten. The last thing I needed was for him to misunderstand my silence. Next, I pointed at the soldiers making flatbread, then back at myself, and gave him an inquiring look.

    He took a step closer and asked, ¡°You want to help us? I didn¡¯t think a noble like you would be willing to lower himself to help with something like this. Don''t you guys specialize in starving your people, not feeding them?¡±

    I looked him in the eye and waited. He studied me for a moment without saying anything. Lieutenant Jarren, ignorant of how I had lived before this, thought that all nobles were the same. There was no room for him to consider that I might have experienced something different from his expectations. But when I looked around and saw the state of the people, I was disgusted too. I could understand his feelings all too well, even if they were colored by prejudice. But I held his eyes and didn¡¯t falter until he gave in to my silent request.

    ¡°Fine, do as you please,¡± he said with a wave, ¡°Perdy, get this one rolling and grilling.¡±

    ¡°Does he even know what he¡¯s doing?¡± the one called Perdy asked, looking annoyed rather than pleased at the concept of an extra set of hands. He probably thought I would slow them down.

    ¡°How should I know? Probably not. But even a cub can figure it out, so let him try,¡± Jarren gave me a surprisingly gentle push toward Perdy and went back to what he was doing.

    Perdy looked at me dubiously for a moment before asking, ¡°You ever done this before?¡±

    I nodded and reached for the dough. Between what I had learned during my journey to the Beastlands and what Andrian had taught me at home, making some basic flatbread was an easy task. Perdy watched me work through my first few breads before realizing that I knew what I was doing and leaving me to my own devices. He no longer looked annoyed, and I thought I saw a hint of a smile on his face.

    Alongside a couple of wolf beastmen, I rolled and grilled flatbread after flatbread, placing them on a tray to be carried to where the soup was being served from giant common pots. I filled tray after tray with no end in sight. It seemed like the entire population of the eastern slums had come out, looking for a rare opportunity to fill their constantly empty stomachs.

    As I watched them gratefully accept the food I had helped to prepare, I felt a great sense of fulfillment. I also felt an overwhelming sense of shame at the way Vrayna treated its most vulnerable citizens. There was no reason why the soldiers of Vrayna couldn¡¯t do the same. There were enough resources to go around, but the ruling class hoarded them, overindulged, and refused to share even the tiniest scraps. They chose to let their people starve. Because these people didn''t matter.

    Knowing what it felt like to starve, I worked tirelessly as the sun crossed the sky, taking us from afternoon to evening. Once I¡¯d proven my sincerity, Perdy and the other beastmen quickly warmed up to me, despite their previous hostility. I didn¡¯t dare risk joining their conversation with so many humans around, but they spoke to me anyway, accepting the nods and shakes of my head as my contribution.

    I was so immersed in my work that I didn¡¯t even notice when the delegation from the Golden Palace arrived.

 Chapter Fifty Five

    Lost in the repetition of rolling and grilling bread after bread, I had completely tuned out my surroundings. More than a movement had passed, and I had made more flatbreads than I¡¯d ever even seen before. Sweat dripped down my forehead from the heat of the fire under the late summer sun, and my arms ached from the constant effort. Still, I had a smile on my face as I worked.

    It took me longer than it should have to realize that all of the ambient noise had faded and an unnatural stillness hung in the air. I looked up from my work and saw that the people of the slums had stopped eating and were prostrating themselves upon the ground. The focus of their reverence was a group of knights in gilded armor, standing guard around a regal, yet remarkably bland figure. The Second Prince.

    He surveyed the camp and the commoners before him with a dispassionate gaze. His silver hair, the only remarkable thing about him, glistened in the evening sun. He didn¡¯t even bother to hide his disdain when his eyes came to rest on the beastmen that I was working alongside. However, he looked right past me, as if he hadn¡¯t recognized me.

    ¡°Where is Julien de Ramport?¡± he demanded, looking around expectantly, ¡°We entrusted you beasts with one of our precious citizens and I expect him to be in good condition.¡±

    ¡°Ay, he¡¯s here and doing a hell of a lot better than he was in your care,¡± I heard Vargas call out. A few of the beastmen snickered at his comment.

    The Second Prince¡¯s face contorted with rage and he kicked the closest commoner to him with all of his might. The man let out a muffled cry and clutched his now broken ribs as the Second Prince shouted, ¡°What is wrong with you people?! Taking charity from the monsters that have ravaged our lands until now! Have you no shame?¡±

    I rose from my position by the fire, legs stiff from sitting on the ground for so long. I walked toward the Second Prince, desperately trying to control my anger. The sight of him so easily abusing someone who was innocent of any crime, made it hard for me to remember that I shouldn¡¯t use my voice. Feigning calm, I stopped in front of him and bowed deeply in silence.

    I held that position for some time until I felt movement around me. I saw familiar shadows move closer to mine on either side and realized that Andrian and Vargas were now with me. Their presence gave me courage and I raised my head to meet the Second Prince''s gaze. His eyes widened a little when they met mine, emerald green and remarkably similar to my father''s. Yes, he recognized me now.

    ¡°May we please present to you, O good and noble human Prince guy, the precious citizen you¡¯ve been seeking so desperately that you would strike down a helpless citizen in your concern,¡± Vargas said in a sardonic voice.

    The Second Prince clenched his fists and from behind gritted teeth he said, ¡°It would serve you well to learn proper etiquette if you are to remain in my city. I am Royal. It is my Gods¡¯ given right to treat these people as I see fit. You would do well to remember that.¡±

    ¡°Vargas,¡± Andrian warned, silencing whatever retort Vargas was about to make. He turned to the Second Prince, and spoke as I had taught him to, ¡°Your Highness, I apologize for Vargas¡¯s rudeness. He is a mere guard who does not know his place.¡±

    The Second Prince, slightly taken aback by Andrian¡¯s cordial speech, responded, ¡°Ah, very well then. See to it that you do.¡± He sounded as if he were being forced to swallow something bitter, his distaste apparent.

    ¡°As you can see, the Marquis Julien de Ramport is not only present, but in excellent condition,¡± I heard Rastari say from off to the side. I looked in the direction of his voice and saw his dark and striking figure moving toward us.

    ¡°Excellent condition?¡± the Second Prince scoffed, looking me up and down scornfully. ¡°Dressed in rags, dirty, reeking of sweat, and forced to do slave labor over a hot fire. How dare you call that excellent condition? Do you think he is a commoner?¡±

    Rastari considered me for a moment and answered, ¡°Well, I can¡¯t deny that he could use a bath, but if I¡¯m not mistaken, he volunteered to help. Although, I suppose ¡®volunteer¡¯ means something closer to ¡®do it or else¡¯ to someone like you, now doesn¡¯t it?¡± Rastari matched the Second Prince¡¯s contempt, sneer for sneer.

    ¡°Ah, Your Highness, it is good to see you well,¡± Shidah stepped forward, greeting the Second Prince warmly in an attempt to keep things from escalating, ¡°Thank you for coming all this way to escort us.¡±

    Andrian had learned the basics of etiquette from me, what little I knew, but where Shidah had learned it was unknown to me. I was grateful to whoever had taught him, as the Second Prince lost some steam when he came face to face with Shidah¡¯s towering figure and polite words.

    ¡°Yes, you should be thanking me,¡± the Second Prince muttered, failing to hide his discomfort, ¡°coming to this hellish part of the city and exposing myself to this filth.¡± He scowled deeply, showing the most emotion I¡¯d ever seen him show, and looked himself over as if checking for contamination.

    Then, as if it had only been an illusion, his usual bored expression returned and he said,  ¡°But of course, I insisted on coming to greet you. The last time Marquis Julien entered the city, I was there to escort him, so it is only fitting that it should be me who performs that duty again. We have such fond memories together, don¡¯t we Julien? We should take the time to have a nice talk about it, and reminisce about times past. Just the two of us. Alone. Shall we do that, Marquis Julien?¡±

    He held himself with his usual disinterested air, but what I saw in his eyes struck fear into my heart. It was the same as when he¡¯d casually spoken of torturing and killing me before. I¡¯d been overconfident, hadn¡¯t I? The Second Prince, who hid his darkness beneath that bored expression, still terrified me. He was capable of great cruelty and had the power to get away with it, just like my father. I shuddered under his malevolent gaze.

    Sensing my discomfort, Andrian wrapped an arm around my waist and said, ¡°I understand my mate''s expressions and gestures better than anyone, so if you wish to talk to him, I would be honored to accompany you to help him communicate.¡± Then he turned to me with a reassuring smile and asked, ¡°Shall we get ourselves ready to go to the Palace?¡±

    I turned away from the Second Prince and looked at the man who was mine. Immediately, my fear was quelled. This time, I wasn¡¯t alone. I was surrounded by people who would keep me safe. I nodded gratefully at his question.

    ¡°Actually, fancy mister Prince man sir, as Fa¨CJulien¡¯s personal guard, I am honor bound to stay by his side at all times,¡± Vargas bluffed, ¡°I swore upon the spirits that I would never let him out of my sight, and my manhood might shrivel up if I do. So I¡¯ll have to come with you too, for the sake of my future cubs.¡±

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    The Second Prince looked apoplectic. It took every ounce of willpower I had to suppress the laughter that bubbled up in my throat. I pressed my face into Andrian¡¯s chest to hide my smile and prayed that the Second Prince hadn¡¯t seen it.

    His knights moved as if to attack Vargas for his insolence, but the Second Prince stayed their attack with a wave of his hand. ¡°I promised my dear brother we wouldn¡¯t cause a scene with the beasts, so we shall have to let this unsightliness slide.¡± He looked at me just as I¡¯d become confident I could keep a straight face and raised my head, but he seemed to see right through my facade. His nostrils flared and his eyes flashed, but all he said was, ¡°Very well. Get yourself ready and be quick about it.¡±

    We immediately went to our tent, which Andrian had set up while I was making flatbread. I started to gather whatever I thought was necessary; a couple changes of clothes, the sword I had used when hunting monsters, and some potion ingredients I knew I wouldn¡¯t be able to find in the Palace. I wasn¡¯t planning on practicing my craft while we were here, but I thought it might be useful to have them anyway.

    I also found a healing potion that was already prepared and slipped it into the pocket of my new clothes. We didn¡¯t have time to find a river for a proper bath, but we poured some drinking water into a basin and washed ourselves with rags. I couldn¡¯t say I felt clean, but the worst of the sweat, dirt, and flour had been washed away.

    Washed, changed, and packed, we hurried back to where the Second Prince awaited us. We didn¡¯t want to keep him waiting for too long, lest he begin venting his frustrations on the people of the slums. The other three generals who came to the Palace the first time were waiting for us, and Vargas trailed behind us, having waited for us outside our tent. My ¡°personal guard¡± would be following Andrian and I everywhere we went for the duration of our visit.

    The slum dwellers were still frozen on the ground, too afraid to rise from their deferential poses, let alone continue to eat. I saw the man the Second Prince had kicked earlier, still lying on the ground, holding his side and struggling to breathe. As I approached, I could hear a rattle in his breath that made me think that his broken rib might have punctured one of his lungs.

    Without acknowledging the Second Prince, I went straight over to the man and knelt before him. Seeing my shadow overlap his, he looked up at me. When he saw my concerned face, the man shuddered in fear and began prostrating himself once more.

    ¡°M-My Lord¨C,¡± he wheezed, bowing his head, ¡°I-I¡¯m so ¨C sorry. We didn¡¯t ¨C know ¨C it was ¨C you.¡± His words came out in gasps, his pain evident in every syllable.

    I didn¡¯t answer him of course, but I pulled the healing potion from my pocket and presented it to him with a bowed head. It took a moment, but the man eventually raised his head. He looked at me incredulously before hesitantly taking the proffered potion.

    ¡°My ¨C Lord,¡± he choked, ¡°I ¨C don¡¯t ¨C understand¡­¡±

    ¡°Drink it,¡± Andrian said from behind me, ¡°it¡¯s something that will help with the pain.¡±

    Doubtful, but seeing no better option, the man uncorked the bottle and gulped down the liquid inside. He grimaced at the taste, but his eyes widened as he felt his lung and ribs healing, and the unbearable pain subsided. His doubt turned to awe as he took a deep breath and realized that the potentially life-threatening injury was completely healed.

    ¡°Marquis!¡± he exclaimed in a reverent voice, ¡°but¡­ but how?¡±

    ¡°In Vrayna, he is Marquis Julien de Ramport, but in the Beastlands, he is a talented apprentice shaman,¡± Rastari explained on my behalf, speaking gently to the awed but fearful man. I hadn¡¯t noticed that he had followed us, and his resonant voice startled me a bit. ¡°What you just drank is a potion designed to target injuries in the body and fix them. The Marquis brewed this potion himself, thinking about what he could do for the people of this nation. He wants to save his people from their suffering.¡±

    I raised an eyebrow at that last part. I had thought he¡¯d let it go, but it seemed Rastari was still thinking about our conversation in the trading city. Over the past few months, I had considered his ideas, but I wasn¡¯t the right person for the task. I wanted to live in peace, not live with the knowledge that every time a revolutionary died at the hands of the more powerful nobility, it was all my fault. I didn''t want to be the spark that ignited the flame of rebellion. I just wanted to be Falyn, apprentice shaman and Andrian''s mate. It was a good life for me.

    What Rastari had said wasn''t technically a lie, since the whole point of a healing potion was to save someone from suffering, but he had twisted the truth to suit his own purposes. I didn''t like it though, because it felt like he was laying the groundwork to give me a role I wasn''t willing to accept.

    ¡°What on earth is that nonsense you¡¯re spouting?¡± the Second Prince asked impatiently.

    Before Rastari could make things even worse, Andrian stepped in and said, ¡°My mate is an apprentice shaman. He is training under a respected potion master and wanted to practice his craft during our travels. The potion he fed to this man is the result of that practice.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t be ridiculous,¡± the Second Prince brushed him off, ¡°Ramport is not a house that is capable of magic. Whatever farce you are planning, you can stop it right now.¡±

    Any further attempts to convince him would only reveal things we wanted to keep hidden, so Rastari let it go without any further argument.

    The Second Prince and his knights waited for us to get our horses and then we rode into the city. As we were departing, I heard a small commotion behind us, and saw that the people of the slums had finally gotten up and began eating again. The wolf beastmen were already back to handing out bowls of vegetable stew, trail cookies, and freshly grilled bread to the grateful, starving masses.

    As we passed through the slums, we were moved against the flow of traffic. Word travelled quickly and people began to emerge from their shacks to make their way to the beast camp, having heard promises of free food and fair treatment. Wherever we passed, they fell to the ground and prostrated themselves before the Second Prince and his retinue. But as soon as we¡¯d passed, they were back on their feet and rushing toward the prospect of a full stomach.

    From the slums we entered the main city, passing quickly through the commercial and residential districts until we reached the golden gates of the inner city of Luz Dorada.

    ¡°His Royal Highness, Prince Eduard de Vray returns!¡± one of the knights shouted as they opened the gate. It was the same announcement they¡¯d made when we''d entered the city before, but this time the knight added, ¡°and welcome Marquis Julien de Ramport, who has returned alive from the Beastlands!¡±

    ¡°Long live his Highness! Long live Prince Eduard!¡± the knights on the wall called out, cheering our arrival. ¡°Long live the Marquis!¡±

    There was no announcement for the beastmen who accompanied us, but they didn¡¯t seem bothered by that fact at all. We passed through the gates into the inner city. The people here didn¡¯t fall to the ground in fear at the sight of their Prince. Rather, they held their heads up high as they cheered for the Second Prince, hoping to catch his attention, if only for a moment. The difference in attitude caused by a mere accident of birth was astounding to me now. I couldn¡¯t understand why the people on this side of the wall mattered more than the people on the outskirts of the city. Was noble blood truly such a valuable thing?

    The inner city was as pristine as I remembered, yet seemed all the more offensive, having just emerged from the slums. There was not a single piece of debris to be found on the smooth stone streets, and everything was perfect in every way. The streets were perfect, the buildings were perfect, the people were perfect. Every person I saw was happy, well fed, and immaculately dressed, be they professionals or aimless young nobles with nothing to do but gossip and lounge about on perfect patios.

    And that perfect world paused for a moment at our passing, every eye drawn to their Royal Prince escorting five beastmen and one human toward the Golden Palace.

    In the distance, the Golden Palace stood proudly, shining its glory over the city. It glittered and sparkled in a brilliant deep saffron hue as the sun began to set. The last time I had entered the Golden Palace, my world had changed drastically. This was the place where my life had been given back to me, but it was also the place where my life had almost been taken from me.

    With incredibly mixed emotions, I rode toward the gates of the Golden Palace.

 Chapter Fifty Six

    I remembered a conversation I''d had with Rastari a few nights prior while we were sitting by the fire. I had asked him why the beastmen brought so few of their soldiers into hostile land. It was something I couldn¡¯t wrap my head around. Only a hundred soldiers had accompanied us, and only the six of us would enter the Golden Palace. If the humans meant us harm, wouldn¡¯t a small group be in greater danger than a large one?

    He had told me, ¡°Because humans are cowards. If we bring a larger army, they''ll take it as a show of hostility. In the same vein, if we insist on a larger delegation for the Palace, they¡¯ll think we¡¯re planning something. But more importantly, if they were to attack our small army, they can be sure that a larger army will invade in response. As it is, we don¡¯t pose a threat, but attacking us does.¡±

    I hadn¡¯t realized the wisdom in his words until we were passing the lines of guards as we entered the Palace. It was as if they were waiting for us to do something aggressive, to give them an excuse. But they would wait for their excuse, and we wouldn¡¯t be attacked out of turn. At least, I didn¡¯t think we would be.

    The last time I¡¯d entered the Golden Palace, I¡¯d been taken down a cobblestone path through the garden, and entered through a servants door in the back. This time we entered through the main entrance, following a pristine white stone road up to a courtyard in front of the grand stairway that led to the gilded front doors.

    ¡°Humans like to poke and prod, trying to get reactions. They want us to behave in a way that proves they''re right about us. So when we enter the Palace, we have to be immune to those provocations,¡± Rastari had advised me. ¡°It might be safer for you because you¡¯re one of them, but it won¡¯t be for Andrian, if he loses his temper for your sake.¡±

    Rastari''s words had their intended effect. Later that night, I¡¯d talked to Andrian about it and made him promise that no matter what he saw or heard, as long as my life wasn¡¯t in danger, he wouldn¡¯t do anything about it. He¡¯d grudgingly agreed, but I was still worried he might do something foolish on my behalf. I reminded myself that I had to stay strong for his sake.

    We passed through the grand entrance and into a vast foyer with marble floors and murals of the previous golden eyed Kings adorning the walls. The ceiling was three stories above us, making the open space feel even larger. I was pretty sure our entire townhouse could have fit inside. It was overwhelming and it was crowded, though the clerks, knights, and nobles all gave us a wide berth as we walked straight through.

    From there we walked a short distance, up a flight of stairs and down a long and overly spacious hallway that led to a set of jewel encrusted doors. The doors were opened for us by a pair of servants, and the Second Prince walked straight through without pausing.

    ¡°His Highness, Second Prince Eduard returns with the beast delegation!¡± a servant announced.

    Following the Second Prince, we entered what I now realized was the throne room. Pillars lined a long red carpet that led to a dias with a throne of gold. Dozens of high ranking nobles watched us from the other sides of the pillars, and seated on the Golden Throne was a man who could only be His Majesty, King Everys de Vray. Golden eyes and silver sheened hair, with an aura that commanded obedience. I was surprised to discover that the Second Prince resembled his father far more closely than the First Prince, his golden eyed heir; he had a plain face and a dispassionate air.

    ¡°Your Majesty, father of mine, I have returned safely,¡± the Second Prince announced, dropping to one knee in front of the throne. He looked up reverently at the man he called father. The King glanced at him without saying anything, studying the beastmen instead.

    ¡°Welcome back brother,¡± the First Prince greeted him from beside their father, with a smile I didn''t think was a lie. The First Prince knew what his brother was, but loved him regardless. He turned to the rest of us and said, ¡°Generals, it is good to see you again. Please make yourselves welcome and comfortable in our land.¡±

    ¡°Enough pleasantries, Elantro. Now, where¡¯s the Duke¡¯s boy?¡± the King asked, looking at our group expectantly.

    ¡°Yes,¡± a voice off to the side agreed, ¡°What have you done with my son?¡±

    My heart caught in my throat. It felt like I¡¯d fallen through ice into freezing waters as I recognized the voice of my father.

    No, this was nothing. I wasn¡¯t alone and he couldn¡¯t hurt me this time.

    Without looking in the direction of my father''s voice, I stepped forward and knelt in front of the throne as the Second Prince had done.

    ¡°Your Majesty,¡± Shidah spoke up, ¡°May I present the Duke¡¯s son, Julien de Ramport, mate to General Andrian, apprentice shaman, and citizen of the Beastlands.¡± Shidah¡¯s introduction further reminded me that I really wasn¡¯t alone.

    ¡°Raise your head and stand,¡± the King commanded, ¡°I want to take a proper look at you.¡±

    I got to my feet and looked up at the King. Showing far more expression than I ever saw from the Second Prince, he looked me up and down, assessing me. I stood confidently before him, and he narrowed his eyes and asked, ¡°You¡¯re a mute, then?¡±

    I nodded in answer to his question. Part of me balked at the idea of lying to the King, but the words ¡°citizen of the Beastlands¡± were fresh in my mind, and I managed to avoid giving any tell to my lie.

    ¡°Duke of Ramport, you may approach the Golden Throne,¡± he announced and my father stepped forward. He approached and knelt before the throne. ¡°Duke of Ramport, you have claimed a grievance with my son, the First Prince Elantro, claiming he sought to sell your daughter to the Beastlands out of spite and stole your son in her stead, forcing him to take her place.¡±

    ¡°Yes, your Majesty. First Prince Elantro targeted me, seeking to weaken my position and harm my daughter as punishment for my opposition to the treaty. My poor son did indeed volunteer, but only to save his sister and his house,¡± my father proclaimed, lying far more boldly than I ever could, ¡°He thought I''d let it go because the boy is not legitimate, but I refuse to allow this insult to stand. I demand that my son be released from this obligation and returned to me.¡±

    I looked at my father with a combination of shock and horror. The King, seeing my reaction, shook his head and said, ¡°The Marquis¡¯ face tells me more than enough, but let us follow the proper procedure anyway. Son of mine, how do you respond to the Duke''s accusations?¡±

    Rather than responding directly, the First Prince turned to me with a genuine smile and said, ¡°Julien, you¡¯re looking well. Surprisingly so, actually. When we first met, you were quite timid, weren¡¯t you? Pale and much too thin as well. If I¡¯m not mistaken, many of the nobles in the gallery could attest to your fragile state at your engagement banquet.¡± He spoke to me, but his words were for his father.

    However, when he spoke again, he turned to face the King, ¡°One of my knights infiltrated the party my brother brought to Ramport with him. Julien was taken in chains to the Palace in chains. Not only was he coerced into volunteering out of fear, he also showed signs of habitual abuse. He was sent, not to protect his sister, but to offend our guests. It is not my place to comment on how the Duke runs his duchy, and how he deals with his own flesh and blood is his business alone, but to pretend to be the victim in this? The Duke seems to have forgotten his place.¡±

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    ¡°I see,¡± the King considered both their words, ¡°Duke of Ramport, I deny your grievance. I would also like to remind you that my son is your future King and it would be better to ingratiate yourself, rather than antagonizing him.¡±

    ¡°My apologies, your Majesty, but I am trying to protect my son,¡± my father persisted, ¡°I may have imposed harsh discipline upon him, but it was for his own good. Please consider how you might feel if your son was held captive and violated by one of these creatures.¡±

    ¡°I''m certain I would be very upset if that were the case, but it is not. He is your son, not mine, and distasteful as it may be, I have no reason to believe that he wishes for this union to be dissolved. Julien de Ramport,¡± he returned his attention to me, ¡°you may return to your home if you wish, and we will find someone else to fill this role. Will you choose to go home?¡±

    I shook my head confidently. Satisfied with my answer, the King told my father, ¡°I give you far too much leeway, Duke of Ramport. Never attempt to deceive me again.¡±

    ¡°But your Majesty¨C¡±

    My father¡¯s voice was interrupted by the First Prince, ¡°Duke of Ramport, you have troubled my father enough. Whether you admit it or not, you have failed. This treaty will happen with your son at the center of it. Personally, I find it quite fitting that the hateful Duke bore a son who found love with the very people his father hates.¡±

    Gritting his teeth in rage, my father retreated back into the crowd with a furtive glare in my direction. His eyes widened slightly when they met mine and I didn¡¯t immediately avert my gaze. Fighting every instinct he¡¯d instilled in me, I held his glare without flinching. This man had no power over me anymore.

    ¡°Now, which one of you is Andrian?¡± the King inquired, no longer interested in my father.

    ¡°I am, Your Majesty,¡± Andrian responded, stepping forward but not dropping to a knee. ¡°General Andrian of the lion tribe and Julien de Ramport¡¯s mate.¡±

    The King frowned and muttered under his breath, ¡°It certainly looks somewhat human¡­¡± A thick silence hung in the air after that comment, but he seemed unbothered by the uncomfortable atmosphere. ¡°It is certainly unpleasant to think about, but if the Marquis is satisfied, there is no reason to be dissatisfied. Peace is simpler than war. You may proceed with the treaty and the marriage, I will not stand in the way. You are all dismissed.¡±

    When I realized that I had passed a test I didn''t even know I was taking, I felt a deep sense of relief. The First Prince had said before that his father, the King, didn''t fully support the treaty, so not getting in the way was the best we could hope for. This was what passed for supporting his son, I suppose.

    The nobles filed out, leaving only the Royal Family and the beastmen in the Throne Room.

    ¡°Eduard,¡± the King said in a cold voice, ¡°the Duke of Ramport isn¡¯t the only one who tried to deceive me about this, but I thought this discussion should be a private one.¡±

    ¡°Father, Your Majesty, I promise that I spoke only what I thought to be the truth. The Duke of Ramport has tricked both of us with his claims of grievance. I am ashamed to admit that I allowed myself to be deceived by the representative of a lesser house,¡± the Second Prince lamented. It was a surprisingly believable act.

    The King smiled indulgently, ¡°Of course my son, I expected as much. You¡¯re a good boy and wouldn¡¯t trouble your brother on purpose. This is just another example of why the Gods chose your brother as the next King. You lack his insight. He can see through the smokescreens and find the truth of matters. You did your best though, so don¡¯t feel too bad.¡±

    ¡°Father, if it pleases you, I would like to take our guests to their rooms and explain the schedule for the next few days. May we have your leave?¡± the First Prince inquired, hurrying to get us out of the King¡¯s sight now that the matter was settled.

    ¡°You have my leave, Elantro,¡± the King informed him with a wave of his hand, ¡°take the beasts and the Marquis to their rooms. I''ve grown weary of this conversation.¡±

    The First Prince led us out of the Throne Room and through the Golden Palace to the wing the beastmen had stayed in before. We moved in silence, but it wasn¡¯t an uncomfortable silence. We simply had nothing to say until we could be certain that no one would hear us.

    Long and winding staircases and decadently decorated corridors blurred together as we walked through the oversized Palace toward our destination. Eventually, we found ourselves in front of a somewhat familiar looking set of white doors with golden handles; the same room where I¡¯d originally met the First Prince.

    The room looked pretty much the same as it had before, six armchairs surrounding a short wooden table, the room lacking the adornments that were inescapable elsewhere in the Golden Palace. Lord Erris and Amelie both awaited us in the room.

    Without any preamble, the First Prince said, ¡°Lord Erris, if you please?¡±

    Lord Erris nodded and began chanting. A sparkling white barrier shimmered into existence around us, then disappeared in a burst of bright white. More familiar with magic than I was before, I noticed how different Lord Erris¡¯ casting was from what I had heard Beastland shamans use. Clunkier, more awkward, and I was pretty sure he mispronounced a few words. Regardless, the barrier worked, so who was I to critique him?

    Once the barrier was in place, the First Prince immediately asked, ¡°How did the treatments go? Can he speak?¡±

    ¡°Ay,¡± Rastari answered, ¡°he can. And what about your side of things? Have you found proof of the southern Duke¡¯s involvement?¡±

    ¡°Sadly, very little. The Duke¡¯s men were careful to leave no traces of their presence. Nothing that we could use to point this in their direction,¡± the First Prince admitted, ¡°so it''ll be Julien¡¯s word against his.¡±

    ¡°Falyn,¡± I interrupted him, ¡°My name is Falyn.¡±

    The First Prince looked at me with surprise, but nodded and agreed, ¡°Falyn then. It''ll be Falyn''s word against his.¡±

    As if hearing my voice had crossed the line of her patience, Amelie jumped from her seat and hugged me, ¡°Falyn, it is wonderful to hear your voice!¡± Then, as if remembering herself, she released me and apologized, ¡°My Lord, I¡¯m sorry for my presumption. Please forgive this humble servant for her rudeness.¡±

    ¡°No, I¡¯m no Lord, I¡¯m just Falyn. It is good to see you too, Amelie, and thank you for everything you¡¯ve done for me until now,¡± I told her honestly. Truly, if it wasn''t for Amelie, I would never have made it this far. I owed her far more than she knew. Or perhaps she did know. I couldn''t be sure with that one.

    ¡°You¡¯re doing much better now, aren¡¯t you?¡± she asked, touching my arm, ¡°You feel like a completely different person.¡± With a laugh, she added, ¡°You look like one too. I almost didn¡¯t recognize you.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s amazing what simple things like access to food can do for a person,¡± Rastari commented. ¡°I must say, Prince Elantro, I was sad to see your slums were looking no better than they did before. I had hoped you would consider my suggestions about how to improve the situation.¡±

    ¡°I addressed it with my father, the King, but he has advised me that we do not have the budget for such things,¡± the First Prince explained, looking abashed at the disheartened expression on Rastari¡¯s face.

    ¡°I imagine the door frame of the Throne Room would be enough to feed the lot of em for a few years at least, so I don¡¯t understand what the problem is.¡± Rastari shrugged and gestured around him, ¡°You¡¯re surrounded by riches you don¡¯t need. Put them to good use.¡±

    ¡°Look, that''s not what we came here to discuss, so let¡¯s just forget about it. Besides, you should know it¡¯s not that simple. This is my family¡¯s legacy, not mere trinkets to be sold. Poverty isn¡¯t something you can just fix,¡± he argued, immediately forgetting his own suggestion to forget about it.

    ¡°Excuse me, but, Prince Elantro,¡± I interrupted, surprising myself and everyone else. The First Prince looked at me in disbelief, and I realized my mistake. The beastmen could get away with calling him Prince Elantro because they were exactly that, beastmen. But I was still expected to call him Your Highness.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. Your Highness,¡± I amended before continuing my thought, ¡°I know it doesn¡¯t seem like it now, but it really can be fixed. I¡¯ve seen what a city without slums looks like, so I know it can be done. I can tell you for sure, that it¡¯s the kind of city that doesn''t have a wall to divide the people that matter from the people that don¡¯t. Seeing firsthand how the noble and Royal families of Vrayna have utterly failed to protect the lower class from suffering, I¡¯m ashamed to call myself human. Do better, Your Highness.¡±

    Looking somewhat defeated, the First Prince muttered, ¡°...I think I liked you better as a mute.¡±

 Chapter Fifty Seven

    Rastari burst out laughing at the First Prince¡¯s muttering, ¡°Ah, Prince Elantro, he makes an excellent point there. You can do better.¡± His grin faded. ¡°The humans you rule over deserve better than what they¡¯ve been given, which is nothing. You have riches and jewels in abundance. The nobles of the city have more food and more luxury than they could ever need. Stop hoarding your wealth and take care of your people.¡±

    ¡°I will consider your suggestions,¡± the First Prince replied, abashed and uncomfortable. Then he straightened his shoulders and said, ¡°But for now, we should focus on the tasks at hand. We have the wedding ceremony planned for three days from now, and I made sure there was no noble house left off the guest list. As it stands, this will be the largest event we¡¯ve held in the Palace since my father¡¯s coronation.¡±

    ¡°Perfect. That¡¯s exactly what I was hoping for.¡± Rastari¡¯s grin returned. ¡°As you probably noticed, Falyn is keeping the fact that he can speak hidden from everyone but the people in this room. We need to keep it that way for now. I assume the maid and the magic man can keep that a secret?¡±

    Lord Erris immediately answered, ¡°Of course. That¡¯s why I cast a sound barrier. So that only we would know what was said here.¡± He sounded a little indignant in his response.

    ¡°A sound barrier to keep people from listening doesn¡¯t keep people from talking about it later, now does it? Forgive me for wanting to confirm we are all in agreement that this will stay between us,¡± Rastari replied with a hint of impatience.

    ¡°We will keep your confidence, Lord General,¡± Amelie assured him. ¡°We all want the same thing. Lord Erris, he doesn¡¯t doubt your skills, nor is he accusing you, he simply wants to be sure. In spite of appearances, he is actually quite cautious, and understandably so. Just as we have little reason to trust them, they have little reason to trust us. However, we¡¯ve all agreed to work together, so we need to make that our reason to trust each other.¡±

    ¡°Agreed,¡± the First Prince added, ¡°We all want the same thing, so let''s try to trust each other a little. I''ll start by telling you what we''ve learned, but unfortunately, I don''t have much. We sent people to the villages under various guises to dig up information about the attacks. In each case, the women were attacked in their homes. In the beginning, if the woman had a family, they''d kill the family first and leave their bodies behind for us to find."

    My stomach dropped. ¡°In the beginning?¡± I asked hesitantly.

    ¡°In the beginning,¡± he confirmed. ¡°Towards the end, they took the children too. The youngest victim was only seven. She was one of the last to be found before the war started. The things they did to that child¡­¡± The First Prince shuddered and didn¡¯t continue.

    ¡°Then we need to make sure that justice is done,¡± Rastari said quietly, his voice cold and merciless. ¡°That¡¯s why we need proof.¡±

    ¡°Our investigations have turned up nothing we can use to prove what Julien claims,¡± the First Prince lamented, ¡°No clues, no evidence. If there was any, it was destroyed when the bodies were disposed of. No one could tell us anything new and most of the villages had no way to keep records. Generals, please tell me you have some kind of plan.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s hard to have a plan when all we have is the word of one individual,¡± Rastari commented, ¡°so I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re expecting. You had three moon cycles to get us some sort of evidence, but you provided us with nothing. I¡¯m not sure if your investigators are that incompetent or if the Duke¡¯s men were that smart.¡±

    ¡°They wouldn¡¯t have known what they were looking for,¡± I interjected softly. ¡°Ras, Vrayna doesn¡¯t have people who can use magic to investigate, nor is there any cooperation between the villages. Besides, bad things happen to commoner women all the time. There was no reason to believe that the simplest answer wasn¡¯t the right one. They wouldn¡¯t have wasted resources investigating it further. I don¡¯t think it¡¯s right, but you can¡¯t blame His Highness for that.¡±

    ¡°Did you hear what you just said? Bad things happen to commoner women all the time. You excuse their lack of attention by pointing out your nobility''s lack of concern for its people. Bad things shouldn''t be happening to these women all the time. This whole system is corrupt to its core. Your Prince might not be the one to blame for all of it, but he is as indoctrinated as the rest of you in his belief that only some people matter.¡± Rastari was growing more heated by the moment. I regretted butting into the conversation. I had a feeling I¡¯d only made things worse.

    ¡°If I may?¡± Amelie¡¯s voice sounded, halting our discussion. ¡°General Rastari, nothing you have said is wrong. You are correct that it is a corrupt system that favors some while neglecting others. His Highness does realize that and he is doing his best. But overturning the entire system before he¡¯s even taken the throne is impossible. Falyn wasn¡¯t trying to excuse the injustice, he just wanted you to understand why there was no progress. And Your Highness, please know that the General¡¯s words come from a place of compassion. He cares that our people, human people, are suffering.¡±

    Amelie¡¯s words gave everyone pause. Better than anyone, she understood how they all felt, and though she held the lowest status, her words were heeded by the First Prince.

    ¡°Your little empath is right. Let¡¯s move on from this and think about what we can do from here,¡± Rastari conceded, ¡°We have a witness but nothing that can prove what he says. So I guess Falyn will have to be extra convincing.¡±

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    The way Rastari looked at me as he said that made me nervous. He seemed to have complete faith in my abilities, but I feared that his faith was misplaced. I could barely speak at all, let alone convincingly. But I could speak to the truth. That didn''t mean anyone would listen to me though.

    ¡°I have an idea as to what we can do to make that part a little easier,¡± Lord Erris suddenly spoke up. ¡°What we need is something dramatic to catch their attention. I have known His Highness, the Second Prince, as long as I¡¯ve known my dear boy Elantro here, and I think I have a fairly strong understanding of his character. What we need to do is make him think he has the upper hand so that he can set the stage for us.¡±

    ¡°And how would you propose we do that?¡± the First Prince inquired, looking intrigued.

    ¡°Well, at this juncture, what would be the most damaging piece of information that His Highness, the Second Prince could discover?¡± Lord Erris responded, looking to us for the answer.

    ¡°The fact that he can speak would be the obvious answer,¡± Coraggio said consideringly. ¡°The element of surprise is the only thing we have working for us right now.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not wrong, but there¡¯s something else we could use that would incite him more, without giving up that advantage,¡± Lord Erris replied and looked to the rest of us. He was clearly waiting for a certain answer, but I had no idea what it would be.

    ¡°The only other secret we have is that Falyn and I knew each other before,¡± Andrian offered, ¡°but how could Prince Eduard knowing that possibly help us?¡±

    ¡°He is convinced that Falyn must have tricked him somehow and that would be proof of it. Besides, not only was it illegal to cross the Borderlands, but think of the implications one could make with a little imagination. A boy who knowingly broke the law by entering the Beastlands disappeared after his mother was murdered by beasts. Then he reappears years later as the Duke''s son, having ¡®volunteered¡¯ to be married into the Beastlands. It only takes a little assumption and suddenly Falyn has been conspiring with the beastmen all along,¡± Lord Erris explained, looking pleased with his own cleverness.

    ¡°Very interesting,¡± Shidah mused, ¡°I think the magic man is onto something. He¡¯s correct that an outsider could view the situation as such, but the question is whether or not Prince Eduard will think the same as Lord Erris here, and if he does, what he''ll do with that information.¡±

    ¡°My brother is the type to expose it publicly. He would use it as an excuse to rally his supporters and gain new ones. I expect he would reveal it at the wedding or at the banquet afterwards,¡± the First Prince advised, sounding confident in his answer.

    I was inclined to agree with him on that. The Second Prince was unassuming at first glance, but he had many supporters and they would all be present at our wedding. I still didn''t understand how a man with so little charisma had managed to create his own faction. His motives were an enigma to me as well. He claimed to not covet the throne, but why else would he do all this?

    Unless he was innocent of my father''s crimes. Was it possible that he genuinely believed the beastmen were responsible for those deaths? It was something worth considering. From what I had seen, he was a cruel man who enjoyed making those beneath him suffer, but that didn''t mean he was my father¡¯s accomplice.

    ¡°Then we need to find a way to get that information to him,¡± Rastari announced, his grin returning to his face.

    ¡°Um, excuse me mister Prince man sir,¡± Vargas suddenly said, ¡°but I think I¡¯ve got an idea for that part.¡±

    ¡°We could use an idea, but before that, who are you?¡± the First Prince asked, seeming to realize for the first time that there was someone in the room with us.

    ¡°I¡¯m Vargas, mister Prince man sir. Falyn¡¯s personal guard,¡± he answered with a proud grin.

    The First Prince looked him up and down. He didn¡¯t seem all that impressed by my self proclaimed guard. ¡°His personal guard.¡± It was a statement not a question. ¡°Julien, have you become such an important person in the Beastlands that they gave you your own personal guard?¡±

    ¡°I''m no one worth mentioning. But I''m a person with a friend who was willing to follow me into enemy territory to make me feel a little safer,¡± I responded honestly, ¡°Vargas is one of the few people I trust enough to rely on in a situation like this. He understands what I¡¯ve been through better than anyone and can help if things become too much. I''m working hard to look like I''m fine, but I''m actually a mess underneath... He may not be here to guard me from physical harm, but he¡¯s here to help me.¡±

    ¡°And your future husband is allowing this?¡± the First Prince looked doubtfully at Andrian. "Shouldn''t you be bothered by that?"

    ¡°Why would I be bothered?¡± Andrian asked him, genuinely confused by his words. ¡°My mate can''t always rely on me alone. That wouldn¡¯t be fair to either of us. I trust both of them, so it¡¯s not an issue.¡±

    ¡°Uh, mister Prince man sir, you seem to be misunderstanding something,¡± Vargas volunteered, ¡°me and Falyn are friends. Friends, you know, people who spend time together. Nothing funny.¡±

    The First Prince seemed to realize he¡¯d made a mistake, though I doubted he understood what it was. ¡°Very well, I see I misunderstood. My apologies. Well, you said you had an idea. I¡¯m willing to listen.¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s pretty simple. I can guarantee you that your brother thinks pretty low of me and would expect me to do something stupid. So I''ll just have to live up to his expectations. I¡¯ll go blab about their past to someone in a place with lots of people around and use zero discretion. I¡¯m just a stupid beast who doesn¡¯t know any better, right? He¡¯d never think that I did it on purpose. As long as you¡¯re right about what he¡¯ll do with the information, then we''d have a terrible plan full of holes to work with.¡± Vargas finished explaining and looked at the First Prince expectantly.

    ¡°It¡¯s not a bad idea,¡± the First Prince admitted. ¡°It¡¯s the easiest way to leak the information, and I agree that he wouldn¡¯t expect cunning from a beastman. Generals, what do you think?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m in. Someone has to go with him so it might as well be me,¡± Coraggio volunteered.

    No one had any objections to Vargas¡¯s idea. It wasn¡¯t a great plan. In fact, as Vargas pointed out, it was terrible and full of holes. But it was something to work with.

 Chapter Fifty Eight

    We adjourned for the day so we could get settled in to our rooms and Vargas and Coraggio could carry out their part of the plan. I had full confidence that the two could put on a convincing performance, but I had trouble believing that it would actually work. Relying on dramatics instead of evidence didn¡¯t sound very reliable to me, but it was better than doing nothing.

    In my heart, I knew Rastari had been right. If the women had been born noble, there would have been a thorough investigation for each victim, but my father''s men deliberately chose to victimize women who had no one to protect them or care about their deaths. No records, no evidence, no proof, and I was the only witness.

    The weight they''d placed on my shoulders was immense. Now, not only would I have to speak out against my father, I would also have to convince the nobles with my story. I wasn''t charismatic like the First Prince, nor was I a natural performer like Rastari. All I could do was tell the heartfelt truth and pray that it would be enough.

    There would be a welcome banquet held for us that evening, much smaller in scale than the engagement banquet. Tonight, the attendees were to include just the beast delegation, the Royal Family, and the representatives of the four great ducal houses.

    There was no question that both my father and the Second Prince would be in attendance, as well as the Duke and Duchess of Lindenfort. However, the Duke of Shelfort would be there with the Lady Carlotta, so we wouldn¡¯t be entirely surrounded by enemies. I was also curious to meet the parents of Marquis Heinrich, who were largely unknown to me.

    As they were for any Royal event, appearances would be everything. The First Prince had, of course, planned for such things, and half a movement after we¡¯d been shown to our rooms, there was a knock at the door announcing the arrival of the servants who would prepare us.

    The First Prince had courteously arranged for Andrian and I to get ready together. Though, perhaps it was less out of courtesy and more for my own safety. There were at least a few people out there who would see me dead given the opportunity. My father and the Second Prince were both high on that list.

    They took us to a larger bathing room than the once I¡¯d used the last time I was in the Palace. Similar to the temples and public bathhouses in the Beastlands, the tub was a large pool of water built into the floor. Green and blue tiles decorated the entire room, with porcelain sinks and shower fixtures inlaid with gold. Lilies floated atop the bathing water and the room smelled of lavender and vanilla.

    We showered the travel dirt off of our skin and stepped into the steaming bath water. The servants were at the ready and coaxed each of us into raised seats at the edges of the tub and began washing our hair and scraping the accumulated dirt from our skin. My skin began to feel raw before they were done, but I couldn¡¯t deny how soft my skin felt.

    The attention we were receiving was far more intense than before the engagement banquet, and it somewhat reminded me of the temple bathhouse before our joining. Looking across the pool at Andrian, I smiled peacefully as I remembered the happiness I¡¯d felt that day. Perhaps he was thinking the same thing as he reflected my smile back at me.

    Once we were washed and scraped, we swam in the pool for a while, splashing each other occasionally as we enjoyed the warm water. The servants waited patiently as we played, surprisingly indulgent of our behavior. We got out of our own accord before they had to remind us, and were rewarded by being wrapped in some of the softest towels I¡¯d ever touched.

    I had a pretty good idea of what would come next. First grooming, which would probably involve cutting our hair, then clothing. I didn¡¯t particularly care what they did with mine, but I had no intention of letting them cut off Andrian¡¯s beautiful mane.

    Fortunately, that wasn''t part of their plan. While they trimmed my hair into whatever matched the latest trend, four deft fingered servants braided Andrian¡¯s hair into hundreds of tiny braids, threading amber silk into them before twisting them in a wild cascade on top of his head. It looked spectacular, but it also somehow reminded me of Adelia¡¯s tangled strands. I wondered how she was faring without my help. I smiled as I imagined her cursing me for leaving.

    The servants left my own hair surprisingly long, with an asymmetrical part and tiny gold plated braids scattered throughout to ¡°offset my husband¡¯s look.¡± Even if I ignored the braids, which tugged my hair uncomfortably whenever they were slightly disturbed, I already missed my much simpler style.

    They took us to dress and brought us to the giant dressing room I¡¯d been in before. Or perhaps it was a different one. I wouldn¡¯t have been surprised to hear the Golden Palace boasted dozens of such rooms. A somewhat familiar looking servant with grey streaked black hair began barking orders at the other servants, demanding various pieces from different outfits that they all somehow knew the locations of within the vast dressing room.

    ¡°My Lords, the inspiration behind your clothing is in complete contrast to the popular styles. Current fashion is for the woman to wear a dress in a lighter shade of her partner''s chosen suit. Lilac with purple, sky with navy, pink with red, and so on. Miss Amelie advised that your outfits should make a statement that contradicts that, but still shows an understanding of the trend. Our idea involves putting together two matching suits that will play on that concept by mixing dark and light on each of you, but in perfect contrast with each other,¡± the woman explained, seeming to think we would understand what she was talking about.

    ¡°That was a lot of words that I didn¡¯t understand. Vraynian fashion still eludes me, I¡¯m afraid. You lost me after the part about contrasting popular style,¡± Andrian admitted. He looked to me to see I¡¯d been able to follow and I shrugged to tell him I was in the same situation. He added, ¡°It might be better if you just show us.¡±

    The woman seemed unsurprised by our response, nodded, and replied, ¡°Yes, I suppose that would be better. Miss Amelie did indeed warn me that you''re both clueless about these things. Come, they should be finished gathering everything soon.¡±

    When the other servants were done, two full suits had been pieced together and what she had said before suddenly made a bit of sense. One suit of deepest purple, the other of deepest indigo. The purple suit, which was sized for Andrian, had a pale blue shirt to accompany it, and my indigo suit came with a shirt of pale lilac.

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    ¡°I hope you understand my meaning now that you have seen it, My Lords,¡± she said, with a somewhat haughty sniff, looking very pleased with herself.

    She was the servant, but she was clearly the one in charge here. Accordingly we both quietly obeyed when she sent us behind separate sets of curtains to get dressed.

    Alone in the private dressing room, I tried on the suit they had put together for me. The shirt was high necked and very transparent. It fit me like a glove and looked like a lilac colored second skin. The only telltale sign that it was a piece of fabric was the line of tiny jewels along the collar, just below my chin.

    The indigo suite was made out of a material that looked like worn parchment. However, it was soft and flexible, its appearance merely an elaborate facade. The dark fabric shimmered in the light, like miniature stars at twilight. The pants were almost as form fitting as the shirt, but the jacket was more like a short robe that wrapped around me, held in place by a jeweled lilac sash. The finishing touch was a pair of deep purple boots, the color of Andrian¡¯s suit.

    It was elegant, fashionable, and so over the top that I didn¡¯t want to leave the private dressing room. But since I couldn''t hide in there all night, I accepted my fate, pulled the curtains open, and went back into the main room.

    As soon as I saw Andrian, my knees became weak. I couldn¡¯t even call what he was wearing a suit, but every inch of him was a work of art. His pants were as tight as my own, made from crushed velvet and the color of a ripened plum. His shirt was mostly just mesh fabric the color of a cornflower wrapped around his torso, drooping strategically in certain places and with just barely enough layers to not be transparent.

    His jacket was more like a large vest, sleeveless and it hung wide open, showing off the fabric draped all over his torso. His shoes were jeweled indigo slippers. Combined with the braids, they¡¯d created a very exotic look for him that I wouldn¡¯t have expected from the servants of the Golden Palace.

    Andrian seemed to be as entranced as I, not saying a word, simply taking me in from head to toe. The servant looked us both up and down before nodding approvingly.

    ¡°My Lords, I believe you are ready,¡± she commented, ¡°just be aware that we chose your styles deliberately to cause a stir, so don¡¯t be surprised if there are some who lack the refinement to comprehend the artistry. You are fashion and rebellion all in one, in a way that I believe reflects the nature of your coupling.¡±

    Again, the words coming out of her mouth were familiar enough to my ears, but I had no idea what they meant when put together in such an order. What was rebellious about dressing up for a banquet?

    Thankfully, Andrian still looked as lost as I, so I felt confident that the issue wasn¡¯t with us. Perhaps I had already lived too long in the Beastlands to ever fit it with Vraynian high society. Still, I didn¡¯t feel like that was a bad thing. Rastari would have been happy to point out how many people we could feed from the cost of the jewels they¡¯d attached to our clothes. Thinking about it in those terms made me want to do something that was actually rebellious and wear a simple shirt and breeches to the banquet.

    However, none of that could dissuade my desire to continue looking at Andrian in those tight pants and draped fabric. It was incredibly sensual, and I couldn¡¯t help but imagine slowly unwrapping him and claiming him. How could he look so delicious in those ridiculous clothes? Perhaps sensing my impure thoughts, the servant tsked at me and informed us that she would now escort us to the dining hall where the banquet would take place.

    We were led into a large dining hall that could qualify as an intimate space in the Golden Palace. There was a bar set up against a far wall, a dining table big enough to seat twenty, and a seating area with couches and chairs. It seemed that Andrian and I were the last to arrive.

    What the servant had told us about the current fashion proved to be true. The three ducal couples were all wearing dark suits and matching light dresses, except for the Duke of Shelfort and the Lady Carlotta, the mother and son pair, who wore silver and grey.

    The room, which wasn¡¯t all that noisy to begin with, fell silent upon our arrival.

    ¡°It seems the guests of honor have finally decided to grace us with their presence,¡± I heard the Second Prince comment from his position on one of the couches. ¡°Marquis Julien, General Andrian, come join us,¡± he beckoned.

    That couch was probably the last place in the room I would want to go, as both the Second Prince and my father were sitting there. My father wore a suit of emerald and my stepmother sat next to him wearing a dress of seafoam green. Somehow, the muted color placed next to a bolder color gave an impression of subservience. The Second Prince, who had no partner to match with, wore a mix of chocolate and champagne, which made his plain brown eyes seem all the more drab.

    Not seeing much of a choice, I offered my arm to Andrian, and we went over to join them. We sat on a couch opposite the other three. An uncomfortable silence followed our arrival, and I patiently waited to find out what they wanted from me. Perhaps they¡¯d already heard about Vargas¡¯s performance.

    ¡°Son,¡± my father finally greeted me in a stiff and formal voice, ¡°you look better than expected. I really hadn¡¯t anticipated you being so versatile, considering how useless you''ve always been.¡±

    ¡°Ah, my friend, in my experience, your son is very adaptable when it suits him. He was clinging to this beast here from the moment they arrived,¡± the Second Prince informed him, his upper lip curling in contempt.

    ¡°Prince Eduard,¡± Andrian interjected, smiling like he was enjoying their company, ¡°I was actually wanting to thank both you and the Duke here. The two of you helped bring us together, after all.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± a voice from behind us chimed in. Rastari sat on a chair beside us in a suit of vivid orange. ¡°We do owe you a lot of thanks. If not for your interference, things wouldn¡¯t have gone nearly so smoothly.¡±

    The Second Prince and my father stiffened at his words. If I hadn¡¯t known better, I would have missed the barbs in that seemingly pleasant statement. Rastari just continued to smile while their faces hardened. Picking up two glasses of wine from the table, he handed one to me.

    ¡°My former fianc¨¦e here has established himself quite well in the Beastlands,¡± Rastari commented, ¡°He¡¯s not much of a talker, as I¡¯m certain you already know, but he¡¯s quite skilled at potion making. We consider his presence an asset to the treaty and to his community.¡±

    ¡°It is certainly lovely to see my stepson doing so well for himself,¡± my stepmother commented, breaking her silence, ¡°though I am a bit concerned that whoever helped you get ready may have played a little trick on you.¡±

    ¡°Oh, were they? Well, I don¡¯t know much about your fashion, so that¡¯s possible,¡± Andrian answered as if he were truly concerned. ¡°What part did we get wrong?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll explain it in terms that a beast like you can understand. Your bitch should have worn a pretty blue dress so everyone would know what she is,¡± my stepmother simpered with a nasty smile.

    I was caught off guard by her attack, but Andrian laughed cheerfully in response to her sweet venom before quietly asking me, ¡°Was I supposed to wear a dress?¡±

    I almost choked on my wine.

    ¡°That¡¯s more than I ever wanted to know about you two,¡± Rastari laughed, shaking his head. I couldn¡¯t help but smile a little along with him.

    Seated between Rastari and Andrian, I could almost forget that I was in the presence of my former abusers. It was an empowering feeling, to not be helpless before them.

 Chapter Fifty Nine

    I don¡¯t know how my stepmother would have responded, as the Duke and Duchess of Misenport chose that moment to approach us.

    The Duke of Misenport was a large man, both tall and wide, with a bushy mustache that looked just like his son¡¯s. His wife, the Duchess, was so petite that it was hard to believe she had given birth to the Marquis. Her husband towered over her, easily as tall as Rastari, and twice, if not three times as wide, especially around the middle.

    ¡°Your Highness, it is a pleasure as always,¡± the Duke greeted the Second Prince before immediately turning his attention to me. ¡°Julien de Ramport, I presume?¡±

    I nodded and stood to greet him. He held out his hand and I shook it before taking his wife¡¯s hand as well. It was rare to see a Vraynian woman shake hands, but the gesture suited her, as did her boldly colored crimson dress that offset her husband¡¯s mahogany suit.

    ¡°Heinrich has spoken fondly of you,¡± the Duchess informed me, with a minimalist smile. ¡°It is a pleasure to meet you, Julien. I am Ingrid de Misenport, and this is my husband, Duke Oskar de Misenport. We were hoping you would be willing to spare us some of your time for a brief conversation.¡±

    Surprised by the request, I nodded and Andrian stood up to follow me.

    ¡°We asked for Julien¡¯s time,¡± the Duke of Misenport stated in a flat voice, ¡°There¡¯s no need for you to stand.¡±

    ¡°Please don¡¯t be bothered, General,¡± his wife interjected, ¡°we would speak with him alone, but we will remain in your line of sight.¡±

    ¡°I meant you no offense,¡± the Duke added gruffly. ¡°However, we have no business with you either.¡±

    Instead of responding, Andrian looked to me for confirmation. I couldn¡¯t see the harm in agreeing, so I nodded that I was okay with it. Andrian sat back down wordlessly and gestured for them to continue.

    They led me over to the dining table, which was not in use as of yet. It was as close to private as we could get without leaving the room all together. I could feel all the eyes in the room watching us. I was as curious as our observers, wondering why they would want to talk to me alone on our first meeting.

    ¡°Beastlands and treaty aside, I don¡¯t like your father one bit, boy,¡± the Duke started as soon as we were seated. ¡°You southerners are known for being snakes and he¡¯s the king of snakes. If I¨C¡±

    ¡°Oskar, dear, that¡¯s not how we start a conversation, now is it?¡± the Duchess interrupted, scolding him like a child. ¡°Marquis Julien, what my husband is trying to say is that Heinrich told us a bit about his time in the Beastlands and asked us to consider supporting the treaty. However, in more ways than one, we have found there to be cause for concern.¡±

    ¡°I was getting to that, Ingrid,¡± Duke Oskar retorted impatiently, ¡°I can speak for myself.¡±

    ¡°The way you speak, no one will listen. Have you ever listened to yourself? He¡¯s a Marquis, not one of your vassals. Anyway, Julien, I¡¯m hoping that you might answer some simple yes or no questions to help us make a decision,¡± Duchess Ingrid explained, ignoring her husband entirely.

    ¡°We cannot count on them, but we also cannot discount them.¡±

    I remembered the words that the First Prince said to me before the engagement banquet. He said we couldn¡¯t count on them, but he never said we couldn¡¯t trust them. I decided to trust my instincts and agreed to her request with a slight nod.

    ¡°So are you really in love with that animal?¡± Duke Oskar bluntly asked me his first question.

    I didn¡¯t like the way he said it, and my eyes narrowed in displeasure as I gave him a curt nod. The Duchess slapped her husband¡¯s arm and said, ¡°Heinrich already told you that they did that strange ceremony with the soul joining. I don¡¯t think he would have done that if he didn¡¯t love it. That part doesn''t matter. Now be quiet and let me talk. First of all, Marquis Julien, are you really the Duke of Ramport¡¯s son?¡±

    Surprised by her first question, I nodded that I was, but let my expression show that I wasn¡¯t happy about that fact.

    ¡°A bastard though, yes?¡±

    I nodded again, feeling like she was merely confirming information she already knew. However, I imagined she had a reason for asking, so I went along with it.

    ¡°And am I safe to assume that he wasn¡¯t a particularly loving father?¡± she asked with a pointed look. I confirmed she was correct, and she followed up with, ¡°So did you agree to this to get away from him, then?¡±

    Alarm bells went off in my head when she asked that question. It sounded like a trap. Technically, yes, originally I had agreed to get away from my father, but I was with Andrian because I wanted to be.

    ¡°Ingrid, stop beating around the bush,¡± the Duke interrupted before I could decide how to answer. ¡°I¡¯ll be blunt. We aren¡¯t against ending the war but we see no reason for treaties, marriage, or cooperation. Live and let live. Separately. That is what we wish to convince His Highness of.¡±

    If that was what they wanted to convince him of, then why bother talking to me at all? I¡¯d hoped that Marquis Heinrich had made progress with his parents, but it seemed they were both set in their ways. I imagined they were wanting me to tell them that I was using the beastmen to escape my father.

    However, live and let live was certainly a better attitude than kill them all. I wished I could safely speak to them and try to change their minds. However, this was neither the time nor place to try.

    ¡°He lacks eloquence, but live and let live is the simplest way to say it,¡± the Duchess clarified. ¡°There''s no need to fight them if they go back to where they belong and stay there. We certainly won¡¯t stand in the way if you really want to marry it, but you could choose to live happily ever after in the Beastlands without tying them to Vrayna with a treaty. Perhaps you could help convince the beasts to give up and¨C¡±

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    A servant called out, announcing that our meal would soon be served, interrupting what Duchess Ingred was about to suggest, though I had a fairly good idea of what she wanted.

    Andrian wasted no time taking his place beside me, and Rastari sat on my other side, with the Lady Carlotta and the Duke of Shelfort next to him.

    ¡°Julien, darling boy,¡± the Lady Carlotta greeted me as my father and stepmother sat down across from her, ¡°it has been too long. You look very well, my dear. I¡¯d have greeted you sooner, but everyone seemed to be clamoring for your attention.¡±

    I smiled at her from across the table, glad to see that she was looking as feisty as always.

    ¡°If I recall correctly, you still owe me a cup of tea and a chat,¡± she reminded me. ¡°You''ve come a long way since the last time I saw you and I''m excited to hear all about it.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry to force you to share my disappointment in that little bastard, but despite my best efforts to educate him, the useless creature refuses to speak,¡± my father said, looking at me with open disgust. I glared back at him, my eyes bright with defiance.

    ¡°My dear Duke, he doesn¡¯t need to speak for me to know that he¡¯s telling you to fuck right off,¡± Lady Carlotta announced, shocking me with her vulgarity. I¡¯d heard plenty of such language in the Beastlands, but it felt wrong hearing it come from a distinguished Vraynian Lady. ¡°Since his thoughts are written all over his face, I¡¯m certain we can manage just fine.¡±

    ¡°Ah, Lady Carlotta, you are delightful and charming as ever,¡± Rastari beamed, draping a large arm over her tiny shoulders. Any other woman would have been intimidated, but Lady Carlotta looked up at Rastari as if he were a grandson she was proud of.

    ¡°And you, my dear boy, get more handsome every time I see you,¡± she said in a playful tone, ¡°it¡¯s a shame I¡¯m not twenty years younger with a good set of hips.¡±

    ¡°My Lady, if that were the case, we wouldn¡¯t have needed these two,¡± Rastari said, gesturing to Andrian and me. Lady Carlotta laughed and patted his chest fondly.

    My father bristled with indignation as the two shamelessly flirted and deliberately ignored him. The violence his anger promised was still unsettling to me, but I knew he couldn''t hurt me here.

    ¡°Lords and Ladies, thank you for joining us tonight,¡± the First Prince said, his voice capturing all of our attention.

    ¡°Don¡¯t forget the animals, brother,¡± the Second Prince reminded him, drawing sharp stares from half of the people seated at the table. The representatives of the ducal houses of Ramport, Misenport, and Lindenfort were not among them.

    ¡°Leave,¡± the First Prince commanded. Showing more backbone than I would have expected from him, his face hardened and he pointed to the door.

    ¡°Elantro, you¡¯ve got to be kidding me!¡± the Second Prince shouted in outrage.

    ¡°You do not address me by my given name, brother of mine,¡± the First Prince told him in a cold voice. ¡°We may be brothers by blood, but I am your future King, and I have already made it abundantly clear that your views will no longer be tolerated. Leave. Now.¡±

    ¡°Understood, Your Highness,¡± the Second Prince seethed as he stood up and left the table. Silence reigned until he had exited out the door of the small banquet hall.

    The silence was broken by a procession of servants entering with platters of food. The first course was oysters on the half shell, cooked in a broth made from white wine and cream. Each plate had three oysters with toasted bread for dipping in the broth. Despite its enormous size, the Beastlands had very little land that bordered the ocean, so seafood of any variety was very rare outside of the southernmost regions. The beastmen looked down at their plates, clearly unsure of the food presented to them.

    I, on the other hand, having spent so many years in the south, was delighted to see the delicacy upon my plate. I took a small, two tined fork and pried the first oyster from its shell. Despite my excitement, I made sure to move slowly enough that the beastmen could see what I was doing and copy my movements.

    As we ate, the First Prince finally spoke again, ¡°As I was saying earlier, thank you all for joining us. It¡¯s been a long road to get here, and I know not all of you are pleased with the destination, but I am grateful to all of you for being here. In a few nights, our nations will be joined together by marriage and a new era of peace will begin.¡±

    ¡°Yes, but at what price?¡± the Duke of Lindenfort inquired. ¡°First you wanted to sell our precious granddaughter to these ani¨C to these beastmen, and now we¡¯re supposed to celebrate the emasculation of our son in law¡¯s other child? I¡¯m sorry, Your Highness, but the fact that we¡¯re here at all is proof that you have no care for your people at all.¡±

    ¡°And how exactly is ending the war not caring for his people?¡± Coraggio asked softly from his position at the end of the table.

    ¡°You Highness,¡± the Duke of Lindenfort turned to the First Prince instead of answering Coraggio, ¡°I would request your permission to speak freely. I do not wish to disrespect you or anger you, but I cannot answer its question without speaking of things I know you would find distasteful.¡±

    ¡°Let him speak,¡± Rastari suggested with a smile that was anything but pleasant. ¡°There¡¯s no harm in hearing what he has to say.¡±

    ¡°I can see a lot of harm in it, General, but I suppose it would be better to deal with it head on,¡± the First Prince answered before gesturing for the Duke to continue.

    ¡°Our kingdom was built on the principles of honor, discipline, and the superiority of human intellect,¡± the Duke explained, turning his attention back to the wolf general. ¡°Beastmen are creatures of chaos and instinct, driven by base desires, and are little more than animals. You lack the sophistication, moral compass, and intellectual capacity that defines what it means to be a person. Your very existence is a mockery of everything we hold dear. Your presence among us is a constant reminder of the barbarism that started this war. Beasts. Rapists. Monsters. That is all you will ever be. It offends me that my future King would sell out his own people to creatures like you.¡±

    ¡°Poppycock,¡± the Lady Carlotta stated, looking offended on behalf of the beastmen who took his hateful words in stride. ¡°I¡¯ve been saying it for years and I¡¯ll say it again. Even if those women were murdered by beastmen, it was a small group of rogues who do not represent the whole population.¡±

    ¡°Agreed,¡± the Duchess of Misenport added. ¡°I cannot say that I desire cooperation with those animals, but the Duke of Lindenfort is blinded by his hatred. End the war then end all contact with them. Find a way to restore the borderland so that they and the rest of the monsters stay where they belong. That is the proper course of action.¡±

    ¡°It must be easy for you to say that, given that you don¡¯t have to watch your own damn son fawning over one of those creatures like a little whore,¡± my father interjected. ¡°They have abused and raped him, then brainwashed him into believing he wanted it. That beast demanding to marry my son should be executed for his crimes!¡±

    ¡°Enough!¡± the First Prince shouted, finally losing control of his anger. ¡°They will marry, there will be a treaty, and that is final. I have had enough of your complaints and scheming! Duke of Ramport, the only abuse your son has ever suffered was at your hands. Whether you want to admit it or not, your son, your own flesh and blood, genuinely desires to marry that beastman. Duchess of Misenport, let me remind you that your son traveled to the Beastlands to pursue the very cooperation that you would disdain. Your old fashioned views won''t help your duchy grow. Duke of Lindenfort, I am tired of your accusations regarding Emma de Ramport. General Rastari would have treated her with all due respect and kindness. Lady Carlotta and Duke of Shelfort... did anyone tell you that our second course will include those lovely pears that you sent as a gift?¡±

    Another group of servants arrived with the second course, and the First Prince continued to make determinedly pleasant small talk with the representatives of the eastern duchy.

 Chapter Sixty

    After the First Prince¡¯s outburst, everyone behaved themselves for the rest of the dinner. My father and stepmother didn¡¯t say another word, nor did the Duke and Duchess of Lindenfort, but their eyes shone with hatred as they watched the beastmen laughing and talking with the eastern delegates. Without the Second Prince in attendance, they had no Royal ally to lean on.

    Much to my surprise, Shidah somehow managed to engage the Duke of Misenport in a conversation about the monsters in the north. Reluctant at first, the Duke was soon talking animatedly about their struggles near the impassable mountains. The two oversized men had found a common ground in their war against the trolls that ruled the mountains. His wife pursed her lips in silence as her husband lowered her his guard.

    Neither Andrian nor I were wise in the ways of politics and had no desire to change that fact. After the requisite amount of polite conversation, or in my case polite nodding, we focused our attention on the food. Wine poached pears from the east were followed by five more courses prepared with the finest ingredients by the most skilled of chefs; a cheese souffl¨¦, a salad with wild greens and thinly sliced poultry, roasted beast in a rich gravy, pasta stuffed with wild mushrooms, and finally a rich dessert of chocolate cream filled pastries. We swapped food between our plates and fed each other shamelessly by hand.

    Somehow, I found myself enjoying the disgust that flashed across the faces of my father and his family whenever they looked in our direction. The people who tormented me for so long could do nothing but watch as I flaunted our happiness in front of them. I almost forgot myself and laughed out loud at their horror when Andrian sensually licked the pear juice that had dripped down my wrist as I hand fed him my last bite. Here, with Andrian by my side, I felt like I was the one who had the power. Under the protection of the First Prince and the beastmen, they couldn¡¯t touch me.

    In the end, the welcome banquet wasn¡¯t as horrible as I had expected.

    The next morning, Andrian woke me up early and said he wanted to take me to the Palace training grounds. That sounded like a great idea to me, as there had been little opportunity for swordplay during our travels. I quickly dressed and exited our shared room.

    Rastari, Coraggio, and Vargas were waiting for me in the hall with Andrian, with plans of joining us for the training. Shidah had spent the entire dinner drinking strong liquor with the northern Duke, and would probably sleep all day if left undisturbed. We were happy to leave him alone, given that he may have swayed the northern Duke in our favor after many rounds of a very strong Vryanian liquor.

    Late in the night, the red faced Duke had loudly informed everyone that maybe the animals weren''t so bad after all. His ignorantly worded compliment was a pleasant final blow to my father before we all retired.

    Rastari handed me a hunk of still warm bread with butter to eat on the way. Apparently he¡¯d gotten up early enough to have already gone down to the Palace kitchen and pilfered a few loafs of the freshly baked bread. The simple meal was almost as delicious as the multi course banquet the night before.

    Rastari navigated the Golden Palace with surprising confidence and familiarity. The rest of us would have been lost for days in the labyrinth of corridors and stairways. He kept up a steady stream of chatter as he led us down to the back door, which I recognized as the servants door I¡¯d used to enter and exit the Palace previously.

    The Palace grounds were as expansive as its interior, but we reached our destination faster than I would have expected. Despite our celerity, there were already soldiers training when we arrived. Although there was more than enough room for all of us, I had hoped we wouldn¡¯t have to share a space with human knights. Even if they left us alone, their mere presence was still enough to make me feel ill at ease. They were probably nothing like my father¡¯s men but¡­ what if they were my father¡¯s men? My father was here, after all. I hadn¡¯t considered that possibility before it was already too late.

    But it seemed my worries were for naught, as when we drew closer, the knights¡¯ silver hair gave them away as Royal knights. They watched us closely as we grabbed some practice swords and took the opposite corner of the grounds, but they didn¡¯t interfere or ask us to leave. Rastari and Coraggio chose to spar with each other, having a similar measure of skill, while Andrian and Vargas began the usual process of guiding me through warming up my less practiced muscles.

    It amazed me how much I had learned in just four short moon cycles. As we stretched and practiced my stance, I couldn¡¯t help but marvel at the ease with which I held the practice sword now. Though it was smaller than the ones I used in the lion village, the last time I was at the Palace, I would have struggled just to lift it using both hands. Now, I held it confidently with one hand, barely noticing the slight burning sensation in my muscles.

    ¡°Marquis Julien, your stance is all wrong,¡± a voice interrupted my concentration.

    I looked up and saw that the voice belonged to one of the silver haired knights. He was young for a knight, probably younger than Andrian, and he looked at me critically from a short distance away. The knights on the opposite side of the training grounds had halted their practice and were watching our interactions. They were too far away for me to be able to read their expressions.

    ¡°If I may, Marquis,¡± the knight continued, ¡°your stance might look fine to these beastmen, but their style of fighting is built for their bodies. You may live with them, but you are still one of us. You¡¯ll get hurt if you use their tactics.¡±

    ¡°And what the hell is that supposed to mean?¡± Vargas asked, sounding defensive. "What''s wrong with our tactics?"

    ¡°No insult intended. There¡¯s nothing wrong with your tactics if it¡¯s a beastman using them. It''s not about skill, it¡¯s about natural limitations. He may win a practice fight, but in a real battle, his muscles would be strained by how he¡¯s holding the sword,¡± the knight explained, holding his hands out in front of him in a way that said he didn''t want to fight.

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    ¡°What would you suggest?¡± Andrian inquired, cutting off whatever Vargas might have replied with. "None of us has ever trained with a human before."

    ¡°Marquis,¡± the knight addressed me, ¡°may I have your permission to approach you and demonstrate?¡±

    Feeling no hint of a threat from the man, I nodded that he had my consent. He approached me, giving Vargas a wide berth. He placed his hands on my shoulders and began to move my body and adjust my stance. My shoulders were pushed back, my arms were lowered, and my feet were moved further apart. His touches were so brusque and professional that Andrian didn''t even react.

    As he adjusted my posture, he said, ¡°The first thing to consider is that, where they look similar to us right now, they have bodies that can be used on all fours. They hold their shoulders in a way that prepares them to leap forward and shift. You won¡¯t be doing that, so it¡¯s just additional strain on your body. Lower them like this. Keep them nice and loose. Next, you¡¯re aiming the sword too high. From here, it¡¯s easier to begin an attack, and less effort to keep your sword at the ready. Now, loosen your hips, good, feel the freedom of movement without the tension. Spread your feet just a little more as well. See how your center of balance has changed?¡±

    It was a subtle difference, but I felt less tense and more balanced when he was done. I took a few practice swings and found that my movements were a little easier and more fluid.

    ¡°Very good,¡± the knight praised me, nodding his head. ¡°Now come at me.¡±

    I took him at his word and attacked. He fended me off easily and pushed back, but he was clearly holding back his power to match my skill. We traded blows back and forth for some time until I ran out of steam and made a mistake that got me knocked to the ground.

    The knight pressed his wooden sword to my throat and said, ¡°Not bad. You did well until you ran out of stamina. It doesn''t matter on the training ground, but you¡¯ll need to build up your endurance if you want to win against a real opponent.¡±

    Withdrawing his sword from my neck, he held a hand out to me and pulled me to my feet.

    ¡°I¡¯m Evan, by the way. Evan de Vray,¡± he told me, ¡°His Highness, the First Prince, is my second cousin on my father¡¯s side. I think you and I might be distantly related as well. My great grandmother was the daughter of the southern ducal house. I believe that makes us third cousins.¡±

    Andrian answered Evan¡¯s greeting on my behalf, ¡°I¡¯m Andrian, and you already know who Julien is. That¡¯s Vargas. The two over there are Coraggio and Rastari.¡±

    My distant Royal cousin offered his hand to both the beastmen and said, ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to meet you.¡±

    ¡°How ¡®bout a round against me?¡± Vargas offered, ¡°I¡¯ve never sparred with a human other than Fa-er-Julien here. Good way to introduce ourselves.¡±

    Evan¡¯s face lit up with a smile, ¡°I¡¯d love to actually. I¡¯ve never fought against a beastman before. I¡¯m a Palace knight, so I don¡¯t get to leave the inner city very often. Not a lot of chances to fight against anyone but those guys over there. Oh, hey, have you fought real monsters?¡± he asked, his youth shining through clearly in his excitement.

    ¡°We all have. Julien too,¡± Vargas told him. ¡°He¡¯s fought a couple one on one and killed ¡®em without our help.¡±

    ¡°Marquis! You¡¯ve fought real monsters?¡± Evan exclaimed, looking at me enviously.

    ¡°Ay, he has,¡± Andrian answered for me as I nodded, ¡°one by accident in an ambush, and one when I took him out hunting.¡±

    ¡°Oh-ho, is that so?¡± a familiar voice sounded from behind us. I turned around and saw Marquis Heinrich walking up to us. He wore a broad smile under his thick moustache as he said, ¡°Marquis Julien, you didn¡¯t tell me about that before. Here I thought you were such a weak and helpless little thing.¡± He ruffled my hair in greeting.

    ¡°He hasn¡¯t been weak a day in his life,¡± Andrian stated with confidence, ¡°Fighting ability isn¡¯t the only thing that makes someone strong.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t disagree, but you know what I meant General,¡± the Marquis responded with a good natured smile. ¡°Mental fortitude means nothing to a mountain troll. He doesn''t strike me as a fighter, is all.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s a damn good fighter, actually. Anyway, how about that spar?¡± Vargas interrupted, grabbing Evan, pulling him a safe distance away, and raising his sword.

    As I watched them each take their stances, I realized that, just as Evan had never fought against a beastman, Vargas had never fought against a human other than myself. Neither of them had fought in the war, one busy fighting monsters, and the other stuck inside the Palace.

    Evan attacked first, cautious but not holding back the way he had with me. The knights on the other side of the field had halted their practice and watched the mock battle carefully. To my surprise, they crossed the distance between us to observe the fight alongside us.

    The two were evenly matched in strength, but Evan held the advantage in terms of training and discipline. He slowly forced Vargas to make increasingly reckless decisions until he successfully disarmed him. Vargas''s sword went flying and landed in the dirt a considerable distance away.

    Vargas, not wanting to give up on the fight, shifted into a lion and charged. Evan was too surprised to react and the large lion had him pinned before he could process that his opponent had shifted. Vargas stood over the man, holding his shoulders down with his paws, and roared to celebrate his victory. At the sound of his loud roar, the other knights looked nervous and a few raised their weapons as a precautionary measure.

    But before they could act on their concerns, Evan laughed and shouted, ¡°Damn cheater!¡±

    Vargas released him and returned to his human form to assist the knight in getting back on his feet.

    ¡°Ain¡¯t no cheating in war,¡± Vargas informed him, giving him a very solid pat on the back and brushing the dust off.

    ¡°This isn¡¯t war, it¡¯s a sparring match. How am I supposed to spar with a giant lion?¡± Evan asked with a pout in his voice.

    I heard Rastari¡¯s booming laugh echo out across the training grounds before he said, ¡°You should ask our little human friend here. I¡¯ve seen him win against both wolves and lions. He lost to me, of course, but he''s won his fair share of grapples.¡±

    ¡°Now that¡¯s something I would be very interested to see,¡± Marquis Heinrich commented, looking at me with renewed interest.

    ¡°We would as well,¡± said one of the Palace knights who had been watching the fights. Then he quietly added, ¡°But only if the Marquis isn¡¯t put out by the request. We mean no offense, my Lord.¡±

    I studied the knights and realized this might be a good opportunity. These were the men who protected the Golden Palace. It would be good to have them on our side. Andrian and I exchanged glances, both thinking the same thing, and we nodded in unison.

 Chapter Sixty One

    Even if using a sword was something I struggled to learn, wrestling an oversized lion was something I could do with ease. I might not always win, but I knew what I was doing. The stance was different from sword fighting, lower with greater emphasis on being prepared to go to the ground. In a sword fight, the ground meant defeat, but in wrestling, it was the beginning of the fun.

    I took a slow stance, knees bent and feet spread wide, ready to grapple with the lion that appeared before me. Andrian roared and pounced at me. We were on the ground almost immediately, Andrian trying to leverage his superior strength, while I tried to keep the advantage using my smaller size and dexterity.

    It went on for quite a while and I had to struggle to not shout or grunt as we fought. I hit the ground hard a couple of times but I got my fair share of blows in. Eventually I started to get tired and staying silent required too much of my attention. In a moment of distraction, Andrian flipped me over and I found myself prone and pinned by the shoulders.

    As Andrian was roaring his victory, a voice interrupted, ¡°Just when I thought I¡¯d seen everything, I come across a lion mounting its whore on the practice field.¡±

    My blood ran cold at the sound of that voice. It belonged to Tarlon, my father¡¯s knight.

    ¡°Well, come on. Get on with it. Everyone¡¯s waiting for the animal show,¡± Albrecht¡¯s voice rang out, sending a chill down my spine.

    ¡°We¡¯ve already told you that you''re not welcome here,¡± an unfamiliar voice, probably one of the Palace knights, informed them in an icy cold tone.

    I heard Andrian start growling, low and menacing. He released me so I could roll over, and I got up on all fours, keeping my eyes fixed on the dirt in front of me. No, no, no. Not this. Not them.

    ¡°We heard our old friend was here and wanted to say hello, is all,¡± Albrecht continued, unperturbed by the hostile reception. ¡°It¡¯s been a long time, Julien. Did you miss me? I missed you.¡±

    Just the sound of my name on his lips made me feel sick. I started shaking, my breath coming out in ragged gasps. I could face my father without faltering, but I still couldn¡¯t face the man who haunted my nightmares.

    ¡°Then you''ve done what you came here to do. Now leave,¡± Marquis Heinrich commanded, and they had no choice but to obey the order of the northern Duke''s heir.

    I felt instantly ashamed that I wasn¡¯t brave enough to face them. In front of all these witnesses, I hadn¡¯t even had the courage to lift my head. Men that I should have been able to command with the same ease as Marquis Heinrich had reduced me to this pathetic, weak creature on the ground. My only consolation was that most of the people present thought I was mute, so they wouldn''t expect me to say anything. It was an easy excuse to hide behind. At that moment, I doubt I could have spoken if I tried.

    ¡°Our thanks, Marquis Heinrich,¡± the cold voice from earlier said with much less iciness. ¡°They caused a lot of problems on the first day they were here. Some of the Palace knights are still out of commission because of them. We told them not to come back, but as you can see, they keep returning. No one here has the rank to actually force them to leave.¡±

    As the knight spoke, Andrian shifted back and helped me to my feet. I wiped the tears I hadn¡¯t even realized I was crying from my cheeks and hung my head in silence.

    ¡°Marquis Julien,¡± Evan said to me after a moment, ¡°I know it¡¯s not my place but¡­ are you alright?¡±

    ¡°He is obviously not alright,¡± the cold voiced one responded, "but that encounter did tell me everything I needed to know about the situation. I believe I owe you an apology, my Lord.¡±

    I looked up at that comment, my shame overwhelmed by curiosity. The one with the cold voice was an older knight, with hair that might have been silver from age, rather than birth. He had clear blue eyes that looked as cold as his voice, yet somehow, he didn¡¯t look unkind. I had no idea why he would owe me an apology.

    ¡°You¡¯re a son of the house of Ramport,¡± he said, as if that was answer enough. Seeing that I didn''t quite follow, he explained, ¡°I judged you before meeting you based on my experience with your father¡¯s men. At first, I had wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt so I agreed to let them train with us. That was a grave mistake on my part. They didn¡¯t want to train, they wanted to hurt people. One of my knights had both of his kneecaps smashed by the one called Albrecht, and that Tarlon fellow conveniently forgot to use his practice blade and practically gutted someone. The other three ganged up on one man and beat him so badly that he might never wake. His wife is pregnant and might have to raise the child without him. Forgive me, Marquis, but given that you are your father''s son, I expected you to be no better.¡±

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    ¡°Well, isn¡¯t this a nice change of pace,¡± Rastari commented, ¡°I''m terribly sorry to hear about your comrades, of course. If I get the chance, I will gladly avenge their pain for you. But it''s usually us beastmen who get told we''re not welcome.¡±

    ¡°His Highness has assured us that you won''t cause any trouble,¡± the man responded, ¡°and I trust his judgement in all things. All that matters to us is the safety of the people housed within the Golden Palace. If you¡¯re not a threat to that, then we don¡¯t have a problem.¡±

    ¡°I like your attitude, old man,¡± Rastari laughed, ¡°think you can teach the rest of your people to think the same way?¡±

    ¡°Name¡¯s Gentry, not old man,¡± the knight responded, ¡°or should I just refer to you as ¡®beastman¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Nah, if you get a name, I get one too. I¡¯m Rastari. This is Andrian, Coraggio, and Vargas,¡± Rastari informed him, extending his hand in greeting. ¡°You already know my little human friend here, and I can vouch that he¡¯s nothing like those assholes who work for his dad.¡±

    The knight shook his hand and said, ¡°To think I¡¯d see the day where I prefer the company of you beastmen to that of my own kind, but those Ramport knights are terrible. You¡¯re also not at all what I expected, General Rastari. Neither are you, Marquis.¡±

    I afforded him a small smile, which was the best I could do under the circumstances. I was still shaking and clinging to Andrian to stay on my feet.

    ¡°We got to know each other when I attended their joining ceremony in the Beastlands. He¡¯s a good lad, despite his father''s best efforts,¡± Marquis Heinrich said, patting me on the back a little too firmly. Quietly enough that the other knights couldn¡¯t hear him, he added, ¡°You did well. I know it doesn¡¯t feel like it, but you were braver than you think.¡±

    Ah, that was right. I¡¯d forgotten that Marquis Heinrich already knew the truth. Dealing with his parents had made me forget that there was one member of the northern ducal house that was on our side.

    Where I appreciated what he was trying to tell me, nothing about what happened had made me feel brave. I couldn¡¯t even bring myself to look at them. Now that it was over, I felt the beginnings of panic rising in my chest. I was still so afraid of them. Especially him. No matter how far I¡¯d come, Albrecht still had power over me.

    ¡°We¡¯re taking him back to his room now,¡± Vargas announced, stepping in between me and the Marquis. ¡°Thanks for not being assholes, Palace knight guys. Good to see ya, Heinrich.¡±

    Vargas tugged on my arm and I let him pull me along. Andrian followed right behind us, holding onto my waist as we walked. They both knew me well enough to know that I definitely wasn¡¯t alright.

    I held myself together quite well as they hastily led me back to the room, but as soon as I was behind closed doors, my calm facade fell to pieces. I started crying and once I started, I couldn¡¯t seem to stop. I felt like I¡¯d reverted back to the broken shell I was before. The fear, the loneliness, and the shame all felt so real again, but now I had no place to escape to. The place I used to go to when I felt like this was gone. There was no escape from the spiral of pain.

    I don¡¯t know how long it lasted. The fits of crying blurred together with the moments when I felt like I couldn¡¯t breathe. I screamed myself hoarse and pulled at my hair. More than once, someone had to hold me down to stop me from punching my fist into the wall. I was vaguely aware of the pain in my knuckles from my attempts, but it paled in comparison to everything else I felt.

    Eventually, I ran out of steam. My sobs began to subside and my body trembled from the strain of all those emotions. My eyes were so swollen from crying that I could barely see the blurry figures of Andrian and Vargas, who had both stayed with me through all of it. They made me drink some water and Andrian lay down on the bed with me. I heard the sound of a door closing and realized that Vargas had left. I didn¡¯t even get a chance to thank him.

    Even though it was Andrian, the feelings Albrecht inspired left me with no desire to be touched. However, I also didn¡¯t want him to leave me.

    ¡°Lion,¡± I whispered quietly, my throat raw from the screaming, "please."

    Andrian didn¡¯t question my request and immediately shifted into his lion form. I cuddled up to him and ran my fingers through his mane. This was much better. His furry body, with nothing human about it, was exactly the kind of comfort I needed.

    For the rest of the day, we lay on the bed in silence. The sun crossed the sky and eventually descended below the horizon as I stared at the ceiling and held tight to the lion in my arms. At some point, long after the sun had set and darkness had descended, I fell into a troubled and fitful sleep.

 Chapter Sixty Two

    The next morning I awoke to a heavy lion lying on top of me and a loud banging at our door. I was instantly on alert, but then I heard a voice calling me through the door.

    ¡°Marquis Julien!¡±

    The voice belonged to Evan, the Palace knight I¡¯d met the previous day. His was a voice I didn''t fear, and I relaxed as soon as I realized it was him. Though I was quite curious as to why he was in this deserted wing of the Palace looking for me.

    ¡°Marquis Julien!¡± he banged on the door a little louder. ¡°If you¡¯re in there, please open the door!¡±

    Andrian began to stir after the second knock, but I was already out of bed and answering the door. When I opened the door, Evan de Vray was standing in the hallway, his blue eyes shining bright with excitement.

    ¡°Good morning Marqu¨C¡± he froze when the lion in the bed climbed out from under the covers. He narrowed his eyes in confusion and asked, ¡°Can they not keep their human form when they sleep?¡±

    ¡°That might be the dumbest question I¡¯ve heard in a while,¡± Vargas commented, appearing in the doorway behind Evan. ¡°We wake up in whatever form we went to sleep in. Now, here¡¯s a smarter question; did you have to be banging and yelling in the hallway so damn early? Some of us prefer to sleep past the crack of dawn.¡±

    ¡°Sorry, I wasn¡¯t thinking,¡± Evan responded, looking down at his feet with a flushed face. His embarrassment lasted for only a brief moment before he continued, ¡°Marquis, the First Prince has granted me leave to take you out into the inner city. Would you be interested in coming to a caf¨¦ with me? I thought that after yesterday, you could use an escape. The southern Duke and his men will definitely stay inside the castle today, so you won¡¯t have to worry about running in to them if we leave. I made sure of it before I came.¡±

    From how excited he was, I was pretty sure the young knight didn¡¯t get to leave the Palace very often. He was probably looking forward to escaping these walls for a while, and I didn¡¯t want to be the one to burst his bubble. Besides, it was probably a better idea than hiding in my room feeling sorry for myself.

    The large lion disappeared and was replaced by Andrian, still in the clothes he¡¯d worn to the training ground.

    ¡°Sorry, but if you want to take him out, you''ll have to let me come with you,¡± Andrian asserted, ¡°for what should be obvious reasons, I don''t feel comfortable letting him go alone.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m coming too,¡± Vargas added, ¡°I¡¯m his personal guard, so where he goes, I go. You''re stuck with me.¡±

    Evan didn¡¯t falter at all when they told him that. In fact, he smiled even bigger and said, ¡°The more the merrier. I¡¯d have invited you regardless. But do you have anything you can wear?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m wearing clothes right now,¡± Vargas responded, clearly missing the point of the question.

    ¡°Not the right ones,¡± Evan explained, ¡°The caf¨¦s in this city requires you meet certain dress code requirements to get a table. It¡¯s not formal wear only or anything like that, but if you¡¯re dressed like a commoner, they won¡¯t let you in.¡±

    ¡°Are you serious?¡± Vargas muttered. ¡°Then you better get us all something pretty to wear. We didn¡¯t pack with the intention of going to some fancy dancy cafe that judges you for being comfortable.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah, right. That makes sense. Then, uh, I¡¯ll be right back,¡± Evan stammered for a moment before rushing off down the hall, presumably to find one of those dressing rooms that seemed to be scattered around the Palace.

    ¡°Are we really doing this?¡± Vargas asked, looking unimpressed with the whole idea.

    ¡°If Falyn wants to go then I see no reason to decline,¡± Andrian answered him, ¡°After yesterday, some time away from the Palace wouldn¡¯t be a bad idea.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m alright with it,¡± I added. ¡°Andrian¡¯s right. If I stay here, I¡¯ll probably spend the whole day¡­¡±

    I didn¡¯t get to finish that thought because I realized that Evan was back at our door looking at me with wide eyes. For a moment, we were all frozen in place.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t supposed to hear that, was I?¡± Evan asked, looking between the three of us nervously.

    ¡°Nope, you certainly weren¡¯t,¡± Vargas said, grabbing Evan by the wrist and pulling him into the room. He closed the door behind him and looked at the Palace knight menacingly. ¡°So, you gonna keep your mouth shut about it?¡±

    ¡°Does His Highness know?¡± Evan asked me, ignoring Vargas¡¯ intimidation. He met my eyes unflinchingly. The knight had to be aware of the position he was in, but he didn¡¯t falter. ¡°I won¡¯t promise anything until I know what you¡¯re about.¡±

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    ¡°A smart man would just say he¡¯d keep his mouth shut,¡± Vargas commented, keeping himself between Evan and the door.

    ¡°Then I suppose I¡¯m not a smart man,¡± Evan replied, ¡°It is my duty to protect everyone within this Palace, and you''re included in that. If His Highness is already aware, then I have no reason to reveal your secret.¡±

    ¡°Before I say anything else, I need to know which ¡®His Highness¡¯ you are referring to,¡± I informed him. Based on our interactions the day before, I doubted he was one of the Second Prince¡¯s supporters, but I had to be sure.

    Evan looked surprised at my response, but quickly replied, ¡°His Highness, the First Prince, of course.¡± He paused for a moment to consider us, before nodding like he¡¯d decided something and adding, ¡°The Second Prince has no authority over the Knights of the Golden Palace.¡±

    ¡°His Highness is aware,¡± I answered simply.

    ¡°Good. I¡¯ll confirm with His Highness later, but until then, as your friend here has so politely requested, I will keep my mouth shut. For now, I only came back because I needed to know your shoe sizes, assuming you are still willing to join me,¡± Evan continued, seemingly unconcerned about the content of our conversation just moments before.

    I had a feeling he was a smarter man than Vargas thought and had already pieced together enough to know we weren¡¯t a threat. Perhaps a Palace knight wouldn¡¯t be a poor choice of ally.

    With that in mind, I said, ¡°Sir Evan, I can promise you that if you are loyal to the First Prince, then our goals are aligned. That¡¯s all I can say for now, but you are welcome to ask His Highness if you wish to know more. Otherwise, as long as you don¡¯t mind a silent companion, Vargas and I should wear the same size as you, and Andrian is two sizes larger.¡±

    As soon as Evan had left again, Vargas shut the door behind him and asked, ¡°Are you sure this is a good idea?¡±

    Andrian, who had remained silent throughout the entire exchange, answered, ¡°It is. He¡¯s given me no reason to believe that he¡¯s anything but sincere. Having the Palace Knights on our side would also be helpful.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s pretty much what I was thinking,¡± I added, ¡°I don¡¯t think he¡¯ll say anything, and if he does, it won¡¯t change anything except that we''ll lose the element of surprise.¡±

    ¡°No, I agree with you on that. He doesn''t strike me as the type to work with the Second Prince,¡± Vargas replied, ¡°However, I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s a good idea to go prancing about the city with him either. Just cause he don¡¯t mean us any harm doesn¡¯t mean that others won¡¯t. Plus there¡¯s still a chance he¡¯s just a damn good liar.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s a chance, but I really don¡¯t think he¡¯s someone we need to worry about,¡± I said after a moment of consideration. ¡°We''ve all been so focused on the four ducal houses, but what about all the nobles of the capital? Surely they must hold some sway with the King. It¡¯s a chance worth taking if we can add both the Palace knights and the unaligned Royal blood nobles to our cause. Besides, I doubt the First Prince would have agreed to let him take us if he wasn''t part of his faction.¡±

    Vargas had no further arguments, but we agreed that the others should know where we were going, just in case things went south. Andrian went to inform them, and while he was gone, Evan returned with what he deemed acceptable clothing for a day in the capital. To be fair, the clothes weren''t all that bad. He seemed to have taken our preferences into consideration, and even Vargas couldn¡¯t complain.

    Once we were appropriately attired, we departed into the city. I¡¯d passed through the inner city a number of times, but always on horseback or in a carriage. I was surprised when we set out on foot, but Evan assured me it was the best way to experience the city.

    Despite Evan¡¯s contagious enthusiasm, I felt ill at ease in the picturesque inner city. Just as I had previously observed, everything was perfect, not a single thing out of place. There was nothing wrong, and that was exactly what was wrong with it. In the Beastlands, the cities were chaotic, colorful, and exciting. Everything here was well organized, boring, and pristine. Every direction I looked was like I was looking at a painting.

    We arrived at a corner caf¨¦ with a large patio filled with tables. The silver haired nobles milled about, sipping elegant looking drinks under large umbrellas that protected their delicate skin from the sun. The entire patio seemed to know Evan and greeted him as he approached. The young ladies greeted him with undisguised interest and delight.

    I knew enough about the culture in the capital to assume he¡¯d already bedded a good number of those ladies. Those with Royal blood were notoriously open in their affairs, everyone looking to sire the golden eyed child. In such a puritanical nation, they were the exception to the accepted rules. After all, they were Royal. Fortunately, there were enough bloodlines to go around that the unions were rarely truly incestuous. Distant cousins might share a bed, but never brother and sister.

    We sat down and a server appeared out of nowhere to take our order. The beastmen had no idea what a caf¨¦ might serve and I didn¡¯t dare use my voice while we were out, so it fell to Evan to order for all of us. He guessed as best he could, and soon we all had drinks topped with whipped cream and grated cinnamon.

    Our time passed surprisingly pleasantly. The Royal blooded nobles were nothing if not cordial, and seemed unbothered by the beastmen in their midst. I felt a little ashamed of how I¡¯d thought of them before now. I¡¯d assumed that they were all vapid, unpleasant individuals, but they were surprisingly naive. Most of them seemed completely oblivious to the suffering outside the city walls and knew almost nothing of the war. The young women were enchanted by Andrian and my story, wanting to hear all the details of our love affair before attending our wedding the following day. To them, we were like figures from a fairy tale come to life.

    I wondered how many generations these nobles had spent, trapped within the city¡¯s walls. They were like captives who had been held for so long that they had forgotten they weren¡¯t free. Their only concerns were following the rules, indulging in endless frivolity, and copulating with each other as often as possible.

    Evan saw it too, I think, but he pretended like he didn¡¯t because this was the only world he knew. He was even more trapped than they were, wasting his life away inside the Palace.

    By the end of the day, I realized I pitied the lot of them.

 Chapter Sixty Three

    That night, we ate a simple dinner in our room and were asleep by sunset. The next morning, once again we were awakened by someone knocking at the door. This time, however, it was a knock we were expecting. It was the morning of our wedding, and the servants had come to prepare us. Hours of fussing and grooming awaited us at the hands of the Palace servants.

    Much to my surprise, however, they didn¡¯t take us to one of the many dressing rooms scattered throughout the Palace. Instead, I realized we were being led to the First Prince¡¯s private meeting room. Andrian and I exchanged glances, both wary of what this surprise meeting might be about, but followed them without question.

    When we arrived, the First Prince and Amelie were waiting for us, along with Marquis Heinrich. They all wore big smiles, so whatever reason we had been called there for, it didn''t seem like it was bad news.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± the First Prince greeted us. ¡°Lord Erris cast a sound barrier for us earlier, so you can speak freely.¡±

    ¡°Your Highness,¡± I acknowledged him with a bow and looked to the others, ¡°Amelie, Marquis. Did something happen?¡±

    Amelie smiled and assured me, ¡°No, nothing has happened. Well, nothing bad. There are a couple of additional guests who arrived this morning and one of them requested to greet you before the wedding.¡±

    ¡°I hope I haven¡¯t overstepped my bounds,¡± Marquis Heinrich added, "but I visited the beast camp last night. When I attended your joining in the Beastlands, I found it quite disheartening that I was your only countryman in attendance, and I feel no better about how few of the beastmen will be in attendance here. We¡¯re supposed to be celebrating the cooperation of our nations, after all. My intention was to bring that Thoma fellow and perhaps a couple of others back with me, but I met someone unexpected while I was there, and I took it upon myself to invite said person back to the Palace with me to attend the wedding.¡±

    Both Andrian and I were perplexed by that statement. Every member of the delegation was carefully chosen and there shouldn¡¯t have been anyone unexpected in their midst.

    But before we could inquire about the person, I heard a familiar voice behind me ask, ¡°Can I see my boys now or not?¡±

    ¡°Dad?!¡± Andrian exclaimed as soon as the voice had spoken.

    I looked behind me and Uncle Alek was standing in the doorway, grinning ear to ear.

    ¡°Well, come on now, I came all this way. Where are my hugs?¡± Uncle Alek asked, laughing and holding out his arms expectantly.

    Before I knew it, I was in a three way bear hug with Andrian and his father. After dealing with my own father again, I appreciated Andrian¡¯s father and his kindness all the more.

    ¡°But how did you get here?¡± Andrian asked, ¡°and why didn¡¯t you tell me you were coming?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t think I¡¯d be able to, but Rixon showed up at the cabin and said the higher ups told him to cover my station so I could follow after you. I¡¯d already missed the delegation¡¯s departure, but I caught up with them at their camp the day after you guys were brought to the Palace,¡± Uncle Alek explained, ¡°Since you were already gone, I didn¡¯t think I¡¯d get to see the wedding, but then Heinrich here showed up at the camp last night. When he heard I was your dad, he said he¡¯d bring me back with him. Thoma¡¯s here too, but he went to find the others.¡±

    No matter how hard I tried, I couldn¡¯t wipe the giant smile off my face. I looked at Marquis Heinrich, who looked very pleased with himself after witnessing our reunion.

    ¡°Thank you, Marquis,¡± I said softly, ¡°Having him here means a lot to both of us.¡±

    The Marquis dismissed my thanks with an awkward wave of his hand and replied, ¡°It was nothing. Consider it a part of your wedding gift. Which reminds me, I have a gift prepared for both of you that I wanted to give you now, rather than at the celebration.¡±

    He reached into his pocket and pulled out two long, thin boxes. He handed one to each of us and encouraged us to open them. Inside the box I found a small dagger held in an ornate sheath. The handle of the dagger was made of a smooth ivory inlaid with gold. The blade was thin, razor sharp, and only a few inches long.

    ¡°Boot knives,¡± the Marquis explained as I examined his gift, ¡°the sheath is designed to hook onto the top of your boot. A man should never be caught without a blade when he needs one.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Heinrich,¡± Andrian said as he gazed down at the beautifully crafted knife. ¡°I look forward to an opportunity to use it.¡±

    ¡°I figured you would, General,¡± Marquis Heinrich answered him, ¡°The craftsman who made these also made mine. I once took out the eye of an ice wolf with it, and I can tell you with certainty that the blade is very effective, despite its small size.¡±

    The Marquis showed me how to attach the small blade to the cuff of my boot. Although the boot only came up to the top of my ankle, the knife was small enough to be completely hidden within. I was very aware of its presence against my foot, but it wasn¡¯t uncomfortable. I imagined I would soon get used to it being there.

    ¡°I hate to rush things along, however we don¡¯t have a lot of time before the ceremony begins,¡± the First Prince interrupted, ¡°Ju¨CFalyn, General Andrian, I¡¯m afraid you are out of time for now. The servants are waiting outside the door for you. I¡¯ll ensure your father is well taken care of and has a seat for the ceremony.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Your Highness,¡± I replied before giving Uncle Alek another hug, ¡°and thank you for coming all this way. We¡¯ll see you at the celebration after.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t miss this moment any more than I would have missed your joining ceremony,¡± he said in a serious voice, ¡°I know you¡¯ve had a tough time here, kiddo, but this is your home and these are your people. Even if you never return to Vrayna after this, I think this ceremony will mean just as much to you as the other one.¡±

    Andrian jumped on his father, pulling him into another big hug, and I heard him whisper, ¡°Thanks Dad,¡± as he was pulling away.

    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

    Before we could leave, I was hugged by a tearful Amelie, who was feeling a little overwhelmed by the emotions circulating around the room. I was glad that she was crying happy tears this time, as I still felt bad about the things I¡¯d made her experience the last time I was at the Palace. She smiled brightly at us through the tears that still dripped down her cheeks, and we left with the servants who had been waiting for us outside the door.

    This time, the servants led us to a bathing room. Knowing what was expected of us, we allowed them to scrub, scrape, and oil us until they were satisfied. I appreciated the healthy glow of my skin when they were done, but I couldn¡¯t help but feel that a simple bath would have been more than enough.

    We had received a similar treatment at our Beastlands ceremony, but it felt different at the hands of the Palace servants. There, we had been carefully cleansed and prepared for receiving the spirits¡¯ blessings, and there was a sense of reverence to the act. Here, it was all about vanity. Even if the process was the same, the act felt hollow and gratuitous.

    While still in our robes, we were fed a modest meal of sliced fruit and sharp cheese with a mild tea served over ice with berries floating in it. We would feast at the celebration afterward, but tradition dictated that we eat only a little before the ceremony.

    After our minimalist but pleasant meal, we were brought to a dressing room to be attired for the event. The older woman with grey streaked hair was there waiting for us, along with Amelie, who seemed to have taken charge of our wardrobe. Her usual gentle countenance had been replaced by a dominating aura as she commanded her fellow servants.

    When she realized we had arrived, she broke into a big smile.

    ¡°My Lord and General,¡± she greeted us with a small curtsey, ¡°We have your wedding garments prepared for you. I hope you will be pleased, as they are outfits of my own design, combining the noble traditions of Vrayna with the practicality of the Beastlands. I wanted you to feel comfortable at your ceremony, but without sacrificing the elegance and style one would expect of a noble groom. Consider them a gift from this humble servant in celebration of your union.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Miss Amelie. You are too kind,¡± Andrian replied, ¡°I¡¯m certain they will be perfect.¡±

    My heart felt sticky and warm at her thoughtful gesture. The other servants gasped as I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed tightly, lifting her up in my enthusiasm. Propriety be damned, even if I couldn¡¯t thank her with words, I could still show my appreciation.

    Forgetting herself for a moment, Amelie laughed melodically and gently slapped my arm. ¡°Hugging an unmarried woman in front of your fianc¨¦e¡­ Have you been in the Beastlands so long that you forgot your manners? And if you want to thank me, live a long and happy life together.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the plan,¡± Andrian said, ¡°A happy life, free of manners.¡±

    ¡°Well, you will need them for a little while longer,¡± Amelie warned with a wry smile, ¡°you still have a wedding ceremony and a celebration to attend. I can make the two of you look like gentlemen, but you are the ones who will have to act the part. This humble servant expects both of you to be on your best behavior.¡±

    ¡°But of course, Miss Amelie,¡± Andrian promised, forcing himself to keep a straight face at her sudden sternness.

    ¡°Now, if it pleases you, my Lord and General, may this humble servant show you her design?¡± Amelie asked us, returning to her role as the First Prince¡¯s personal maid.

    I nodded enthusiastically, ignoring the stares of the other servants. Amelie was the first person in the Palace to show me kindness, and I appreciated her too much to treat her like she was just a servant. I hoped it wouldn¡¯t cause problems for her later though.

    She led us over to a couch and had us sit down while she retrieved a rack that was hidden from view. Hanging on the rack were two matching suits made of a shimmering black fabric, somehow reminiscent of clothing one would find in the Beastlands. Both suits had loose, flowing, wide-legged pants and a high-collared, buttonless jacket that would hang open when worn. The shirts, however, were entirely Vraynia in style.

    The shirt she¡¯d designed for me was made from a form-fitting lilac lace, adorned with hundreds of tiny indigo jewels. Andrian''s was cornflower silk with small amethysts worked into the fabric. The necklines plunged into daringly low V-shapes that would leave quite a bit of skin exposed. If a woman were to wear such a shirt, she would be shunned for her immodesty, yet when worn by a man, it was considered fashionable.

    ¡°I noticed that you wear matching necklaces, so I altered the design of the shirts to show them off,¡± Amelie explained as we appreciated her work. ¡°General Shidah explained to me that they are the Beastlands equivalent to rings, so I wanted them to be highlighted during the ceremony.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re perfect, Amelie,¡± Andrian told her, looking as pleased as I was with her designs.

    ¡°Then let¡¯s get you into them so we can finish getting you ready,¡± Amelie instructed, clearly excited to see us wearing her clothes, ¡°We only have two more movements before the ceremony starts and a lot of work still to do.¡±

    I winced when she said there was still a lot of work to do. We had already spent two movements being brutally bathed, and I had been pampered and preened enough to last a lifetime. But since there was no getting out of it, we donned the suits so we could move on to whatever other grooming awaited us.

    They decided to braid Andrian¡¯s hair again, this time adding splashes of purple and blue to the tiny braided strands. For myself, they decorated my hair with flecks of gold that caught the light when I moved, before using a rod heated by the fire to carefully twist my hair into ringlets that were held in place by the melted gold.

    I wanted to balk when they brought out cosmetics as well, but Andrian accepted it so easily that I felt like I should just let it go. Fortunately, they only wanted to add minor accents, such as lines around our eyes and a light dusting of bronze powder on our cheeks.

    A clock chimed, marking our time to depart.

    ¡°It¡¯s time!¡± Amelie chirped happily, grabbing both of us by the arm. ¡°Your escort will be here soon.¡±

    Sure enough, as soon as she¡¯d said that, the Palace knights knocked at the door. I was pleased to see both Evan and Gentry among them, even if they only greeted me with a simple, ¡°My Lord.¡±

    The ceremony was to be held in the garden, where the largest number of nobles could gather, and was scheduled to begin at the third movement of descent. It was shortly after the second movement when we began navigating our way through the maze called the Golden Palace.

    The corridors were devoid of servants, all of them focused on pleasing the guests awaiting us in the garden. The Palace knights remained on high alert as we passed through deserted stairwells and empty chambers, as if they were expecting some sort of attack. Perhaps they were. The marriage treaty was by no means universally popular. In fact, I wouldn¡¯t have been surprised to hear that the Second Prince was planning an assassination to prevent the marriage.

    Regardless, there were no surprise attacks, and we arrived in the garden without incident. The entire outdoor space was filled with nobles, far more than were in attendance at the engagement banquet. It was daunting to see; hundreds of people awaiting the spectacle that would be our wedding.

    ¡°Lords and Ladies!¡± a servant announced, his strong tenor voice coming through clearly above the chatter of the nobility, ¡°Please take your seats. His Highness, First Prince and Crowned Prince of our glorious nation, our future King Elantro de Vray, shall speak before the ceremony begins!¡±

    At his words, the nobles hastily found their seats and silence fell over the garden. Beyond the endless rows of seats, a stage had been constructed, where a Palace official waited to perform the marriage rituals.

    Once everyone had settled, the First Prince made his entrance. He walked out onto the stage, dressed in a shining golden suit, ready to begin the ceremony.

 Chapter Sixty Four

    ¡°Lords, Ladies, my Royal kin, and guests from the Beastlands,¡± the First Prince began, his voice projecting over the crowd, ¡°Today marks the beginning of what I hope will be a long lasting partnership between our great nation and our friends to the east, with whom we have been in conflict for far too long.¡±

    The First Prince paused for a moment to gauge the nobles'' reactions before continuing, ¡°There are many among you who have expressed concern about our treaty with the Beastlands, who have advocated war or separation, and who have insulted our distinguished guests. You have made accusations of bestiality and immorality, and argued that a union between two men goes against the will of the Gods.¡±

    From my vantage point, I couldn¡¯t see the faces of the nobles, but I imagined most of them were as shocked as I was. This was not the polite introduction to the ceremony any of us had expected.

    ¡°As the chosen representative of the very Gods whose will you claim to know, I can assure you that you are mistaken. The genuine affection that these two share is something that transcends the limitations of species and gender, a gift from the Gods that will bring our nations together. So, just for today, I ask you to lay your prejudices aside and help me celebrate this newfound peace, the limitless opportunities it will bring us, and of course, the love that made it possible.¡±

    Silence greeted the First Prince¡¯s words, though he seemed to have anticipated such a reaction, and he continued without waiting for signs of approval, ¡°Marquis Julien de Ramport, son of Viktor, Duke of Ramport, and General Andrian, son of Aleksander, today is the day you will become husbands in the eyes of the Gods and the great nation of Vrayna. I offer you my heartfelt congratulations on this joyous day.¡±

    The First Prince smiled brightly, somehow meeting my eyes through the sea of nobles. Bursts of applause sounded from a few locations in the crowd, reminding me that we had friends and allies mixed in with the unfriendly faces.

    In a traditional wedding ceremony, the husband would enter first, followed by his future wife, who would be escorted down the aisle by her father. It was a transfer of ownership between the two men, because even on her wedding day, the woman was still just property.

    Andrian and I had agreed to walk together, ignoring tradition in favor of a gesture that represented the nature of our union. It had been a hard fought point, as the original plan had been for my father to give me to Andrian, but I had adamantly refused to allow my father to be a part of the ceremony. I had also made it clear that I would not be cast into the woman¡¯s role to satisfy a tradition that didn¡¯t apply to us. The First Prince had eventually agreed to my conditions, understanding my feelings despite his desire to follow tradition.

    So, needless to say, I was utterly confused when the First Prince called out, ¡°Marquis Julien de Ramport, please come forward.¡±

    This wasn¡¯t what we had agreed to, but it also wasn¡¯t what I had refused. I looked at Andrian and realized that he wasn¡¯t surprised at all.

    ¡°This was Dad¡¯s idea, but I agreed to it too,¡± he whispered with a conspiratorial grin, "He wanted to give me away to you. Go ahead, we''ll be right behind you.¡±

    With nothing else I could do, I stepped out into the crowd. More faces than I could ever count turned in my direction as the nobles twisted in their seats to watch my entrance.

    Separating the two sections of seating was a long white carpet that sat on top of the grass. Delicate white flowers lined it, leading all the way up to the dais where the First Prince and the Palace official stood.

    I held my breath as I walked, simultaneously nervous to the point of trembling, while undeniably entranced by the beautiful scene before me. All around the perimeter, white flowers had been planted, surrounded by trees with delicate white blossoms and strings of white jewels wrapped around their trunks.

    The stage was painted white with silver trimmed columns leading up to a roof of white flowering ivy. Everything was so beautiful and perfect that I could ignore the waves of hostility emanating from the crowd. I spotted my father and his family near the front, saw their faces full of disdain, and turned away without acknowledging I saw them. They couldn¡¯t touch me now and I didn¡¯t care what they thought of me.

    With the most confident smile I could muster, I walked towards the First Prince. When I reached the stage, I climbed the small staircase and accepted his proffered hand. Whispers erupted through the crowd at the sight of him offering his hand. When a Royal officiated a noble wedding, it was only natural to bow to him in greeting. By offering me his hand, the First Prince had treated me as an equal in front of the nation¡¯s nobles.

    Quietly, so no one would hear him but me, the First Prince leaned in close and said, ¡°I know this isn¡¯t what we agreed upon, but Aleksander suggested this last night. While you were sleeping, he discussed it with Andrian and they agreed it would be a fun surprise.¡±

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    The fake smile I¡¯d been wearing for the nobles melted into a real one. It warmed my heart to know that Uncle Alek was going to be a part of our wedding.

    ¡°General Andrian, please come forward,¡± the First Prince announced, his voice projecting over the crowd.

    Andrian appeared at the end of the long carpet with his father standing next to him. Uncle Alek was dressed in Vraynian style, something that I never could have imagined before. I¡¯d never seen the man wear anything but the simplest and most basic of clothing, and the contrast was startling in the best possible way.

    Andrian and Uncle Alek paused at the bottom of the stairs and offered low bows to the First Prince, which caught the attention of the nobles as well. Never before had a beastman bowed to a human; their pride didn''t allow it, and protocol didn''t require it.

    They climbed the stairs and Andrian joined me at my side. Uncle Alek placed a large hand on my head and told me, ¡°He¡¯s your problem now, kiddo.¡±

    Then he gracefully jumped off the side of the low stage and found his seat in the front row next to the beast generals and to my surprise, Marquis Heinrich. It seemed he¡¯d found some kindred spirits in his quest for aid against the monsters.

    The First Prince took our hands and brought them together before using the stairs to exit the stage and take his seat next to his brother, who was clearly not happy to be there. I wondered if our plan had worked, and the Second Prince was waiting for his chance to interrupt the ceremony. However, he remained in his seat, looking displeased with the whole situation.

    ¡°Gracious Lords, Ladies, Royals, and beastmen,¡± a voice from behind me cried out, drawing our attention. The Palace official seemed ready to begin the ceremony.

    Andrian and I turned to face him, keeping our hands intertwined.

    ¡°Marriage is the coming together of two families in unity and covenant. Today we unite, not just mere families, but two nations that will prosper together in our alliance. From war comes peace and from hatred comes love. That is what we are here to celebrate,¡± the official proclaimed, watching the crowd as if daring them to challenge his words.

    When no challenge came, the official seemed to relax and focused his attention on Andrian and me.

    ¡°Marquis and General, today you will be united in the eyes of the Gods and the noble guests gathered before you. To begin the ceremony, I will ask that you remove the tokens of your marriage in the Beastlands until your marriage in Vrayna is complete.¡±

    Knowing this would be required of us, Andrian and I both removed our necklaces. A servant appeared with a white pillow for us to place them on. He placed the pillow at the top of the stairs, and retreated into the crowd.

    ¡°Now we shall begin. Andrian, son of Aleksander, do you promise to honor, respect, and devote yourself to this man, Julien de Ramport, from now until your dying breath?¡±

    ¡°Ay, I do,¡± Andrian responded in a rough voice as he gazed at me lovingly.

    ¡°Before the Gods who created this land, do you swear that for the rest of your time in this world, you will look to no one else and be loyal only to this man?"

    ¡°I do.¡±

    ¡°Julien de Ramport, nod if you agree. Do you promise to honor, respect, and devote yourself to this man from now until your dying breath?¡±

    I nodded, realizing that Uncle Alek had been entirely right. In spite of everything else, this ceremony meant more to me than I expected it would.

    ¡°Before the Gods who created this land, do you swear that for the rest of your time in this world, you will look to no one else and be loyal only to this man?"

    I nodded again, feeling tears prickle the corners of my eyes. I judged that Andrian was experiencing the same phenomenon, as his eyes had become red and misty.

    The official produced two rings from his pocket and said, ¡°His Highness, the First Prince, commissioned these rings as his gift to you, to be exchanged and worn as a sign of your union."

    One ring was slightly larger, with a stone of shining emerald, while the smaller one had an amber stone embedded in it. We were instructed to place the rings on each other¡¯s fingers as a symbol of our union.

    ¡°Then in the eyes of the Gods and by the laws that govern our nation, I declare this marriage to be legally binding, for better or for worse, until the day you both depart from this world,¡± the official declared before quietly adding, ¡°Congratulations gentlemen, you are officially husbands.¡±

    Before I had a chance to fully process those words, Andrian pulled me into a tight embrace and lifted me off the ground. The garden spun around me in my vision as he twirled us around, letting out a joyful laugh. When my feet touched the ground again, he loosened his grip on me just enough that he could press his lips to mine.

    The beast generals erupted in rowdy cheers, interrupting us before we became too involved in the kiss. In the midst of those who looked offended or disgusted were those who cheered along with the loud beast generals. The Royal kin seemed just as excited as the generals, seeing the conclusion of the fairy tale romance they had heard so many stories about. The eastern nobles cheered our official union as well, Lady Carlotta watching us with pride. As for the rest, they didn¡¯t matter to me anyway.

    Andrian took my hand in his and we walked toward the stairs, stopping to put our necklaces back on before descending the stairs and walking back down the long white carpet together.

 Chapter Sixty Five

    If our engagement banquet was a grand event, then our wedding reception was a monumental celebration, the likes of which I never could have imagined. The celebration centered around the same banquet hall, however the First Prince had opened the entire wing and garden for the revelers to enjoy.

    In the banquet hall where we were seated, countless servants, dressed in finery that rivaled that of the guests'', wandered the crowd with trays of champagne and spirits, deftly navigating the densely packed space with ease. The buffet stretched along an entire wall, offering dozens of dishes, from appetizers to entr¨¦es, constantly being replaced and changed as the night progressed.

    The room was decorated with white flower arrangements so elaborate and artful that it was hard to believe they were real. Jewels, art, and centerpieces were scattered in strategic locations, each worth a small fortune on its own and nothing more than an ostentatious display of wealth. Yet somehow, despite the overwhelming lavishness of the scene, it was undeniably beautiful.

    Our table was at the center of the banquet hall, on a platform overlooking the dance floor. In an undoubtedly controversial decision, Rastari and Uncle Alek were invited to join us at the table, receiving the same treatment as the ducal house representatives. I was seated between the First Prince and Andrian, and I was grateful to see that my family was on the other side of the Second Prince, where I wouldn¡¯t have to interact with them.

    The seating arrangement was clearly planned to isolate the western and southern duchies at one end of the table where they would cause the least problems. The eastern duchy was paired with the beastmen, and the northern duchy was the barrier between the two groups, seated across from myself and the two Princes.

    The scenery was majestic, the food was delicious, and the company was pleasant. However, I couldn¡¯t relax and enjoy the moment because I was too anxious about what was to come. The Second Prince was behaving far too well. I wondered if our plan had failed. Perhaps the information hadn¡¯t reached him, or perhaps we had misjudged how he would use it. But if the plan had worked, when was he going to strike?

    ¡°His Majesty, the Divine King chosen by the Gods, King Everys de Vray has arrived!¡± a voice called out over the crowd, silencing the music and chatter instantly.

    A quick glance at the Second Prince told me that this was the moment he¡¯d been waiting for. His bland face was brightened with the smile of a man who believed victory was at hand. Perhaps it was. The weight that had been placed on my shoulders suddenly felt exponentially heavier.

    The King raised his hand to greet the crowd before his voice sounded, echoing through the banquet hall, ¡°Greeting Lords, Ladies, Royal kin, and Royal guests. It is my honor to be here to witness the first dance between the freshly married couple. I trust you have all had time to enjoy the buffet, so let¡¯s get on with the dancing.¡±

    He definitely did not sound honored to be there. My impression was that he would rather be anywhere else, but he maintained the minimum level of decorum by coming to witness the first dance. Traditionally, the King would have attended the wedding as well as the celebration, but either due to apathy or prejudice, this would be his one and only appearance tonight. I understood why the Second Prince had been so quiet up until now. This was indeed the best possible moment for him to strike.

    In accordance with the King¡¯s demands, Andrian and I rose from our seats and proceeded down to the dance floor. Neither of us had practiced for this moment, but the First Prince assured us that the orchestra would play a simple waltz, similar to the one we had danced at our engagement banquet.

    We stepped out onto the empty floor and took our positions. We had agreed that I would lead, as I knew the dance best, but we each wrapped an arm around the other¡¯s waist, neither of us taking the position for the ladies¡¯ part. Even if it was supposed to be a performance for the nobles, this moment was for us and we would dance however we pleased.

    The music began and I forced myself to forget about the King, the Second Prince lying in wait, and the nobles who would look down on us for being who we were and loving each other. I didn¡¯t care about my father, the treaty, or anything else; nothing mattered in that moment except the man in my arms and sharing this one dance before the inevitable disaster that was to come.

    We didn¡¯t stumble or step on each other¡¯s feet like before, not that it would have mattered if we had.  We moved to the music with the grace of two people who knew each other''s bodies as well as we knew our own. From the first note until the last, we moved in perfect sync, ignoring the crowd, our eyes only for each other.

    The orchestra finished playing and our dance was done. This would normally have been the moment for the crowd to cheer the bride and groom, but we weren¡¯t a bride and groom, and everyone in the room was waiting for the King to begin the applause.

    Silence reigned for a moment before a slow clapping sound could be heard. However, it was not coming from the King.

    ¡°Very nice,¡± the Second Prince said as he continued his mocking claps, ¡°You¡¯re very convincing, both of you. Marquis Julien, you quite enjoy flaunting your loose morals in front of your father and the King, don¡¯t you?¡±

    The King¡¯s voice was full of rage as he burst out, ¡°Eduard, you will be silent. Now. I have made my stance on this very clear. The Beastlands issue is entirely under Elantro¡¯s authority, and he has chosen a treaty and peace.¡±

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    ¡°Your Majesty, father of mine, please listen,¡± the Second Prince entreated the King, ¡°As both a Prince of this nation and your son, it is my duty to inform you that this marriage is a sham, one that the beastmen and the Marquis are using to cover up their grievous misdeeds.¡±

    ¡°You have my attention, don¡¯t waste it,¡± the King informed him with absolutely no warmth in his voice for his son.

    ¡°One of my most trusted servants overheard two of the beastmen talking. These two men did not fall in love at first sight. In fact, they have known each other for a very long time and have been deceiving all of us,¡± the Second Prince explained, ¡°Julien de Ramport was raised by his mother in the east and has been fraternizing with that creature since his youth.¡±

    ¡°I fail to see your point,¡± the King told him flatly. ¡°Their relationship is offensive to the eye, yes, but I care not how long it has been going on for. Marquis, the penalty for entering the Beastlands is a fine of one thousand Vrays to be paid to the Royal authorities within one moon cycle. Ten years of interest will be added to that sum. Now that we have that settled, I shall retire.¡±

    ¡°Your Majesty, please wait. There¡¯s more than just that. Julien de Ramport knowingly broke the law and crossed the borderland to seek out the beastmen. No one knows what he did there or why, but the result of his actions was the start of the war,¡± the Second Prince announced triumphantly, sounding far too pleased with himself.

    With that, he had the King¡¯s attention. He had my father''s attention as well.

    ¡°Simona of Rovette, the first victim of the beastmen¡¯s brutality, was Julien¡¯s own mother and she was betrayed by her own son! Julien de Ramport was working with the beastmen all along!¡± the Second Prince shouted his accusation, pointing at me with a dramatic gesture. ¡°At the very least, he led them to his own mother¡¯s doorstep! And now, he is using this marriage treaty as a way to escape justice and permanently cover his tracks. Why else would he so conveniently volunteer to take his sister¡¯s place? Father, Your Majesty, my King, I implore you to stop this madness.¡±

    Behind the Second Prince, I saw my father watching him with what most people would consider a very calm countenance. However, I recognized the look in my father¡¯s eyes. He was masking it perfectly, but he was furious, and all of that rage was directed at the Second Prince. The last thing my father would want was people questioning the circumstances of my mother''s death.

    ¡°Elantro,¡± the King said in a displeased tone, ¡°I want an explanation.¡±

    The First Prince smiled and replied, ¡°Yes, Your Majesty. I would be happy to give you one. But first, brother of mine, I owe you an apology.¡±

    ¡°You certainly do!¡± the Second Prince demanded, ¡°I tried to warn you over and over that a treaty with the Beastlands wa¨C¡±

    ¡°No, Brother,¡± the First Prince interrupted, his smile widening, ¡°that is not why I wish to apologize. First, I wish to apologize for suspecting that you were involved with something that I now see you were not. My second apology is for deceiving you to serve my own purposes. However, my deception may have cleared your name when you did not even know it needed clearing.¡±

    The Second Prince looked utterly perplexed by the First Prince¡¯s apologies, as did the King. However, I was still uncertain whether the Second Prince¡¯s name had really been cleared. Just because he raised questions that my father didn¡¯t want asked didn¡¯t mean he wasn¡¯t involved.

    ¡°Duke of Ramport!¡± the First Prince addressed my father with fire in his golden eyes. ¡°I accuse you of conspiring to start a war!¡±

    ¡°What nonsense is this?¡± the King demanded as my father jumped to his feet, feigning indignance. But I could see it. Behind that act was something I¡¯d never thought I¡¯d see. My father was afraid.

    ¡°Father, I know that the Duke has been loyal to the Royal family, but what he has done goes beyond the protection that loyalty can offer,¡± the First Prince explained calmly, ¡°The Duke¡¯s own men were the ones who murdered Simona of Rovette and I have a witness who can prove it.¡±

    ¡°Continue.¡±

    The King only said that one word, but it was all the First Prince needed.

    ¡°The information regarding Julien de Ramport and the Generals prior relationship was released with my knowledge and on my orders,¡± the First Prince admitted as he turned to his brother, ¡°Eduard, I truly am sorry for that. That conversation was orchestrated for this very moment to occur. I promise I will explain myself to you later, assuming you are not further implicated.¡±

    The Second Prince¡¯s expressionless face seemed to be making up for lost time as a fleet of emotions crossed it. However, the two emotions that stood out to me were betrayal and confusion. In that moment, I accepted that whatever else he might have done, and however horrible he might be, the Second Prince wasn¡¯t privy to my father''s plan.

    ¡°As my brother has already told you,¡± the First Prince continued, ¡°Julien de Ramport is the son of Simona of Rovette. Simona did not die at the hands of beastmen, she died at the hands of the Knights of Ramport. We have been fighting a war for naught.¡±

    ¡°How dare you?!¡± my father shouted, ¡°These are baseless accusations! You have no proof that my knights did any such thing!¡±

    ¡°Physical proof, no,¡± the First Prince admitted, ¡°but I do have a witness. Julien de Ramport was present for his mother¡¯s death and can attest to what happened that night.¡±

    My father choked out a harsh laugh, ¡°Your Highness, my son is a mute. He cannot attest to anything. When my knights found him, his mother was already gone. Although I would not be surprised at all if he conspired with the beastmen to kill that poor woman. I have politely claimed that we kept him hidden away due to illness, but it was an illness of the mind that we were dealing with. The boy is deeply disturbed.¡±

    ¡°Julien de Ramport is not disturbed, nor is he a mute,¡± the First Prince informed both my father and the King.

    My father froze at that statement. The King merely raised an eyebrow and looked at me appraisingly.

    There was a tremor in my limbs as I stepped forward.

    I bowed to the King before raising my head and clearly stating, ¡°Your Majesty, if it pleases you, I would like to share with you my story.¡±

 Chapter Sixty Six

    The King watched me in silence for a moment, then gestured for me to continue.

    I took a deep breath and began, ¡°I¡¯m not very good at talking, given I spent so much of my life not doing it, but I hope that you can forgive my lack of eloquence and listen to what I have to tell you. You have been lied to, Your Majesty, deceived by my father and possibly others.¡±

    ¡°How dare you?!¡± my father shouted, looking both panicked and enraged as he leapt to his feet, ¡°I took you into my home, raised you to be my heir, and this is how you repay me?¡±

    ¡°Silence, Duke of Ramport,¡± the King said in an icy voice, ¡°I wish to hear what your bastard has to say. I might choose to allow you to speak when he is done, but until I allow it, remain silent.¡±

    With no other recourse, my father sat back down, but I could feel his rage radiating around him, even from my position on the dance floor.

    ¡°Despite appearances, I was indeed born a commoner,¡± I continued, ignoring my father¡¯s glare, ¡°There is no dispute regarding my noble heritage, but I was raised without privilege or knowledge of that heritage. Much of what His Highness, the Second Prince, told you was true. When I was but a youth who didn¡¯t understand the consequences of my own actions, I found myself on the wrong side of the borderland and was fortunate enough to meet a lion beastman and his cub, who saved me from my own folly.¡±

    The King listened to me with an air of indifference. At this point the entire banquet hall was listening to my words. I wasn¡¯t sure what intimidated me more, the hundreds of ears that awaited hearing what I had to say, or actually saying it.

    ¡°When I was fourteen, my father found us. Hunted us down would be more accurate. My father sent his knights to retrieve me and to teach my mother a lesson. They were so brutal in their lesson that when my mother¡¯s body was found, no one could believe that such damage had been done by human hands. I can assure you, however, that five men with no conscience and a lust for inflicting pain can easily accomplish that feat.¡±

    ¡°Nonsense,¡± the Second Prince decried, ¡°Your Majesty, he is clearly lying. The Duke himself has confirmed that he is disturbed. Even if he is innocent of the charges I brought forth, he is still trying to blame a noble house for a crime that his animal¡¯s kin committed. Worse, he has already lied to both of us by claiming to be mute.¡±

    ¡°Marquis, you certainly do have a lot to answer for. You will answer for your dishonesty later, but first, I wish to hear the rest. If I think you are lying about anything, even about a minor detail, you will be thrown into the dungeon,¡± the King informed me, ¡°Your mother was the first in a long line of victims. Your claim that the Duke¡¯s knights are responsible for her death goes far beyond a simple murder charge.¡±

    ¡°I am aware of the gravity of my words, Your Majesty,¡± I answered, ¡°but I do not withdraw my claims. Your Majesty, everything that was done to my mother that day, I bore direct witness to. Every hit, every cut, every break. They forced me to watch so that I would see firsthand what happens to those who would defy my father.¡±

    ¡°And the other victims?¡± the King inquired, raising a doubtful eyebrow.

    ¡°As for the other victims, I cannot say for certain,¡± I admitted, ¡°I was not forced to watch their unfortunate ends. But if they were killed and mutilated in the same manner as my mother, I would be inclined to assume it was my father¡¯s men.¡±

    The King considered my answer, then he asked, ¡°Assuming I choose to believe you, why would he send you to the beastmen?¡±

    ¡°Your Majesty, my being mute was never a lie. After that day, I didn¡¯t speak a word for over nine years. My father would never allow his daughter to be married to a beastman and I was the useless mute bastard that he had failed to tame. He believed the beastmen to be rabid, mindless creatures, who would kill me offhandedly for his slight. I should not be standing here, Your Majesty. According to my father¡¯s plan, I was supposed to die by General Rastari¡¯s hand. His Highness, the Second Prince, brought me here in chains, under threat of him killing me himself if I did not behave.¡±

    ¡°Father,¡± the First Prince cut in, ¡°Eduard has been against this treaty from the beginning and I have every reason to believe that he had a hand in this attempted sabotage. While I believe he had nothing to do with the murders that precipitated the war, I know for a fact that he has been actively working against me in my efforts to end the war.¡±

    ¡°Because they had the audacity to come into our lands to rape and brutalize our women!¡± the Second Prince shouted, ¡°They damaged our property and now they must be taught a lesson.¡±

    ¡°Enough!¡± the King roared, startling everyone into silence. ¡°Eduard, you forget yourself. My word is law, and I have decreed that Elantro has authority over the Beastlands issue. Your continued defiance is tantamount to treason. You will obey your future King.¡±

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    ¡°We cannot win, Eduard. Even if I agreed with you, we simply cannot win. The army we have been fighting is only a fraction of their main force. You speak of retribution, conquest, and annihilation, but why?¡± the First Prince demanded, ¡°Why are you so determined to throw away the lives of our people?¡±

    ¡°You want to know why? They may walk on two legs, but they are still just animals. Animals ruling over a territory that they have no right to claim. All my life I have lived in your shadow, Elantro. The golden-eyed heir. The great and wonderful First Prince who everybody loves. And do you want to know what the worst part is? I love you too. You¡¯re my brother and I could never bring myself to take what is rightfully yours. But that doesn¡¯t mean I have any intention of being relegated to obscurity!¡± the Second Prince bellowed, causing the First Prince to take a step back. ¡°Those beasts started this war. All I want is to claim the spoils.¡±

    ¡°Your Highness,¡± I interrupted quietly, but that was all I managed to say, before the Second Prince whipped around to glare at me

    ¡°You!¡± he shouted, ¡°All of this fell apart because of you! All you had to do was die and you couldn¡¯t even do that properly!¡±

    I wanted to shrink back in the face of his anger, but I stood my ground shakily. Andrian grabbed onto my hand, giving me the courage to continue.

    ¡°Your Highness,¡± I began again, speaking entreatingly, ¡°You keep saying that the beastmen started the war, but you must know by now that they did not. If you weren¡¯t a part of my father¡¯s plan, then you have been wrongly deceived as well. I won¡¯t claim to understand my father¡¯s motives, but his knights are the ones who started this war. They murdered my mother, raped her, tortured her, and left her body for the animals to dispose of. They did the same to all those other women. My father is the one who damaged ''your property,'' as you put it. He has tricked you into believing this war is just. Should you not be angry at the man who manipulated you and put us all in this situation, rather than the ones who are trying to make things right?¡±

    The Second Prince¡¯s rage faltered for a moment as he heard the truth in my words.

    ¡°Your Highness,¡± my father spoke up, choosing his words carefully, ¡°I rue the day I ever let that bastard into my home. He is the one who is manipulating you. Have I not served you loyally since the day I inherited the title of Duke of Ramport? Everything I have done, I have done for you. I have always been on your side. Please do not let him convince you with his lies. The beastmen must be destroyed. They are nothing more than animals laying claim to what should rightfully be yours.¡±

    Having watched the whole scene impassively, the King finally broke his silence, ¡°Elantro, if I recall correctly, I once gifted you something to help you tell the truth from a lie. Have you made use of that gift?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Your Majesty, I have,¡± the First Prince divulged, ¡°and she has confirmed the truth behind the Marquis¡¯ story. The Duke of Ramport ordered the death of Simona of Rovette.¡±

    The Second Prince, upon hearing that confirmation, suddenly howled in rage and slammed his fist into my father¡¯s face. My father had no time to prepare for the blow and immediately fell to the floor. The Second Prince followed him down, his hand already raised to strike again.

    ¡°You. Damned. Bastard,¡± the Second Prince shouted, accentuating each word with another hit. ¡°Lying. Piece. Of. Shit. You set me up! I¡¯ll fucking kill you¨C¡±

    The Palace Knights managed to pry the Second Prince off of my father, but he continued to shout and curse as they did.

    ¡°Remove that shameful sight from my eyes,¡± the King demanded, and the raging Prince was dragged from the room.

    I felt a small sense of satisfaction at the sight, seeing the man who had threatened and frightened me embarrassing himself in his anger.

    Silence followed his departure as the room came back into focus. The Palace Knights had my father in their custody, and the nobles of Vrayna watched the sight with mixed reactions, awaiting what would happen next.

    The silence that followed the Second Prince was interrupted by the sound of my father spitting blood on the floor. One of his eyes had already swelled shut and I suspected his nose had been broken. If I felt a small sense of satisfaction before, then I felt a very large one now. I wasn¡¯t a person who was inclined to violence, but I had no problem enjoying the fruits of the Second Prince¡¯s labor. My father¡¯s eyes fell on me, and I made no effort to hide my pleasure at his misery. Letting go of Andrian¡¯s hand, I walked toward my father.

    ¡°Duke of Ramport,¡± I said to him in a low voice. The hatred in his face as he stared back at me was unmistakable, but I didn¡¯t care anymore. ¡°I may share your blood, but you will never be my father. For years I suffered under your violence. You took my mother from me, abused me, and terrorized me. What you have done¨C¡±

    I choked up for a moment, overwhelmed by the emotions that came from confronting him, and my father immediately hissed, ¡°What I did? I did what I had to do for the sake of my nation and my kin. Your mother was a whore who deserved her fate.¡±

    ¡°And all those other women?¡± I spat back at him, ¡°Were they whores who deserved it too? And for what? What could a war with the Beastlands accomplish? Or was my mother¡¯s death just so much fun that they had to go back for more?¡±

    ¡°I would never expect a disappointment like you to understand,¡± my father responded venomously, ¡°You are too weak. I should have never allowed you to be born.¡±

    ¡°But I was born. Because you made it happen. If you hadn¡¯t raped my mother, I would have never been born. If you hadn''t murdered my mother, there wouldn''t have been a war. If you hadn¡¯t caused the war, the First Prince would have never demanded your daughter marry a beastman. And if you hadn¡¯t refused him and tried to sabotage him by sending me, you would have never been caught. Everything that is happening to you now is your fault. You say I''m a disappointment? Look in the mirror, you pathetic excuse of a father.¡±

    My voice came out cold and calm, but I trembled as I spoke. He opened his mouth to rebuke me, but was silenced by the fist that came crashing down on his head. I looked up in surprise, and the clear blue eyes of the older knight from the training grounds came into view.

    Sir Gentry gave me a grim smile and said, ¡°I figured you¡¯d heard enough out of him.¡±

 Chapter Sixty Seven

    ¡°Just when I thought we were finally done with this nonsense¡­¡± the King muttered with an exasperated grimace, ¡°Well then, what says the Beastlands? Vrayna as a whole had no knowledge of the Duke¡¯s deception, therefore I think it only fair that this should not affect the tenuous peace you have created with my son.¡±

    Rastari stepped forward with a wide grin on his face, ¡°Your Majesty, the Beastlands only demand one concession from Vrayna on this matter, one that your Prince Elantro has already been wise enough to grant us.¡±

    ¡°Your Majesty,¡± the First Prince said, ¡°the delegates from the Beastlands have been nothing if not understanding regarding this incident. The truth was uncovered before Julien de Ramport left for the Beastlands and they have worked with me, not against me, to rectify the situation. In compensation, they have asked that the Duke of Ramport, along with his knights, be remanded into their custody for punishment.¡±

    ¡°How dare you?¡± my stepmother, who had been silent up until this point, shrieked, ¡°He is one of your people and of the highest noble birth! How dare you sacrifice him to those animals? And you! You pathetic excuse for a son! How dare you betray your father like this?!¡±

    My stepmother¡¯s once beautiful face was distorted and ugly as she raged at the First Prince¡¯s verdict.

    ¡°Luisa,¡± the Duke of Lindenfort hissed, ¡°your husband has made a mockery of us all. Keep your mouth shut before you make it worse.¡±

    ¡°She knew,¡± I hurriedly interjected, ¡°The Duchess of Ramport was not ignorant of my father¡¯s deeds. In fact, where my father ordered those crimes as a means to an end, my stepmother relished in the tales of violence my father¡¯s knights brought back for her. Make no mistake, she was informed and complicit in all of it.¡±

    The Duke of Lindenfort¡¯s face went pale at the revelation. He looked at his daughter in disbelief. The Duke of Lindenfort was many things, but a traitor to his King, he was not. I doubted he cared at all about the fate of those women, nor did he care for peace, but he certainly cared that his daughter had disgraced their house before the King.

    His wife, realizing the gravity of my accusation, fell to her knees and begged, ¡°Your Majesty, I entreat you, please spare my daughter. She couldn''t possibly have understood the consequences of her actions. She didn''t know it would lead to war!¡±

    The King watched my stepmother with no sympathy in his gaze, ¡°Even if she didn¡¯t understand the consequences at the time, she didn¡¯t come forward when she discovered them. I will not allow the animals to take her, but she will indeed be punished for her actions. Knights, take her to the dungeon. I will decide what to do with her later. The Beastlands can have the Duke and his knights.¡±

    The Palace knights took my stepmother away. She didn¡¯t even bother to fight them, still reeling from the sudden change in her fate. The Duke and Duchess of Lindenfort watched as their daughter was dragged away, their faces hardening once she was gone.

    ¡°Your Majesty,¡± the Duke of Lindenfort uttered in a subdued voice, ¡°Please know that the House of Lindenfort had no knowledge of Ramport¡¯s treachery. We are loyal to Your Majesty and would never deceive you in such a way.¡±

    The King surprised everyone by turning to me and asking, ¡°Marquis, have you any evidence that contradicts the Duke of Lindenforts claims or loyalty?¡±

    After how horribly he had treated me, a small part of me wanted to claim that I did, but I answered the King''s question honestly, ¡°No, Your Majesty. I have never witnessed anything to indicate that they were privy to my father¡¯s plan.¡±

    ¡°Very well then,¡± the King said as he turned back to the western Duke, ¡°the house of Lindenfort will not be held responsible for their daughter¡¯s actions. Marquis, you are still your father¡¯s heir, so you shall henceforth be known as the Duke of Ramport. Since your marriage is a fruitless union, you may choose a mistress from one of the noble houses to bear your child. I heard you spent some time in the inner city. Perhaps one of the Royal kin caught your eye? The Gods know we have enough of those broodmares to go around. What say you?¡±

    ¡°Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I have no intention of dissolving my marriage,¡± I replied, my heart pounding in my chest at this unexpected turn of events, ¡°nor do I intend to be intimate with anyone but my mate. Furthermore, I have no intention of remaining in Vrayna once the treaty is concluded. However, if it pleases you, I could choose a regent before I depart for the Beastlands, and I could consider adopting an heir in the future.¡±

    The King didn¡¯t look pleased at all as he informed me, ¡°Duke of Ramport, you have an obligation to your duchy and to your King. Do you think to abandon your responsibilities?¡±

    ¡°Your Majesty, I am no Duke,¡± I stated plainly, ¡°I may hold that title by right of succession, but I have neither the desire nor the ability to bear that responsibility. I as much as I am a citizen of Vrayna, I am also a citizen of the Beastlands. My mate and I have chosen a simple life in the Beastlands, one where we can live happily together, free of such obligation. I cannot be Julien de Ramport, the Duke of the southern duchy, because that is not who I am. I''m Falyn. Just Falyn. My mother¡¯s son and a commoner. The mate of a beast general and the apprentice of the busiest apothecary in our village. That is the life I have already chosen, Your Majesty.¡±

    ¡°You misunderstand, Duke,¡± the King responded in a threatening voice, ¡°you do not get a choice. I am your King and I order you to fulfil your obligation. You will not be returning to the Beastlands. Your beast can stay with you, but it will not hold the title of Duchess, and you will produce an heir.¡±

    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

    ¡°Good King,¡± Rastari suddenly interrupted, ¡°it is you who misunderstands. As he has stated, Falyn is a citizen of the Beastlands now. I would hate to see our treaty fall apart because you are holding a citizen of the Beastlands hostage.¡±

    ¡°General Rastari,¡± the King uttered, looking disdainfully at the beastman, ¡°are you actually implying that the Beastlands would turn their backs on peace over this one boy?¡±

    Rastari¡¯s white fangs gleamed as he smiled and stood up from his seat, ¡°I¡¯m not implying anything. I¡¯m outright saying it. This one boy, as you called him, is the mate of a war general and the tie that binds this haphazard peace together. Personally, I¡¯d like for him to stay here and use his status to fix the corrupt and greedy system that leaves your people starving in the streets, but alas, that''s not what he wants. We can and will fight for his right to make that choice. So you tell me, is this one boy worth it?¡±

    ¡°Father, Your Majesty,¡± the First Prince interceded, ¡°I expected this outcome. The Duke holds his husband in his heart and I knew he would not wish to stay. While he was in the Beastlands, I examined the state of the southern duchy, and I believe that the Count Zacharias of Flinche would make an excellent regent. In fact, out of all the southern Lords, he is the one I would appoint as the new Duke, had I the power to make such a decision.¡±

    The King narrowed his eyes for a moment, then shook his head and said, ¡°Very well, Elantro, I will trust your judgement on this. The Count of Flinche shall now be known as Duke Zacharias de Ramport. Has he any children?¡±

    ¡°No, Your Majesty,¡± the First Prince answered with a knowing smile, ¡°His wife passed away some years ago before she could produce him an heir. However, Emma de Ramport still needs to be dealt with. The new Duke is still young enough to take her as his wife, which would allow for his successor to carry the blood of the original Ramport line.¡±

    Upon hearing that, the King seemed satisfied. He turned to me and said, ¡°Julien de Ramport, I revoke your noble title and the responsibilities that come with it. You are still a noble by blood, but by status, you are now the commoner you wish to be. And since I have no reason to attend a commoner¡¯s wedding, I will take my leave.¡±

    Without any further fanfare, the King turned and left the banquet hall.

    With the King gone and my father finally dealt with, we saw no further need to remain at the celebration, as the focus was no longer on celebrating our union. The nobles around us were buzzing from the scene they had just witnessed. Never in Vraynian history had the power of a ducal house changed hands, nor had a noble ever willingly given up their birthright.

    The Duke and Duchess of Lindenfort left immediately to avoid the shame of their daughter¡¯s misdeeds, while the eastern Duke and Lady Carlotta looked very pleased with the whole situation. From her place at the table, Lady Carlotta nodded her head to me with a look of pride upon her face.

    The First Prince made a short announcement that the celebration would continue despite the interruption, and the orchestra began playing again as Andrian and I walked away from the dance floor.

    We adjourned to the Royal honeymoon suite that the First Prince had graciously prepared for us. The suite consisted of two spacious rooms, a large bedroom with a seating area, and a grand bathing room with a tub large enough for both of us to bathe in.

    In the seating area, which consisted of a small round table and a two person couch, food and wine had been laid out for us, and the tub in the bathing room was already filled with steaming water. The bathwater gave off a mild floral scent and flowers were artfully floating on the surface. There was also a balcony with two seats that overlooked the Palace grounds and the inner city.

    The suite was decorated to our tastes, nothing ostentatious or gaudy, but it was beautifully orchestrated. I suspected that Amelie might have had a hand in its design. We took a moment to appreciate the scene before removing our shoes and beginning to explore the room.

    ¡°One thing I can say for these Royal folk,¡± Andrian commented, ¡°they sure know how to spoil themselves. That bath looks too good to actually wash in.¡±

    ¡°I think that we deserve a little spoiling tonight,¡± I replied, ¡°since we¡¯re celebrating finally putting this mess behind us.¡±

    ¡°Then should we ruin that pretty looking bath by getting in it?¡± Andrian asked, hugging me from behind.

    ¡°That sounds like a great idea,¡± I agreed, twisting my head to look at him. ¡°A bath, some wine, and two wet naked bodies pressing against each other.¡±

    ¡°Ah, so naked bodies will be involved?¡± Andrian pursued, sliding his hands under my shirt.

    As he caressed me, I told him, ¡°Oh, yes. There will definitely be naked bodies. Lots of touching and kissing too.¡±

    He spun me around and his lips were on mine before I could process what happened. He kissed me with an intense passion as his hands began roaming my body. His calloused fingertips ran up and down my spine, sending jolts of pleasure through my body. I moaned into his mouth as I tugged his jacket off.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think we¡¯re making it to the bath,¡± he growled as he pulled my shirt over my head. "I don''t think I can stand to wait that long."

    ¡°Mmm, you¡¯re gonna have to though,¡± I told him, before averting my eyes and shyly adding, ¡°it¡¯s my first time, so you¡¯re going to have to take it slow.¡±

    Andrian stiffened against me, ¡°Does that mean what I think it means?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I responded in a teasing voice, trying to hide my embarrassment. I pulled him close so I could hide my face and whispered in his ear, ¡°What do you think it means?¡±

    He shuddered as I nibbled on his earlobe and he purred, ¡°I''m pretty sure I know what it means, but I want to hear you say it.¡±

    ¡°I want you inside me, Andri,¡± I told him, feeling my cheeks heat up as I spoke, ¡°Just like you gave yourself to me after our joining, I want to give myself to you now. I-I¡¯m a little nervous, but I¡¯m ready for this.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re sure?¡± he asked softly, nuzzling his face into my neck.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure,¡± I assured him, ¡°I¡¯ve never been so sure in my life. I don¡¯t want my choices to be dictated by my past anymore. I want you. All of you. In every way possible.¡±

    ¡°Then we should get in that tub,¡± he informed me with a wicked smile, picking me up and carrying me toward the bathing room.

 Chapter Sixty Eight

    He had barely placed my feet on the floor before he was removing the rest of our clothes, practically ripping them off of us. He lifted me off my feet again and stepped into the tub with me held in his arms.

    We sank into the warm water and immediately found each other¡¯s lips again. I opened my mouth to him, and shifted so I was straddling him in the tub. His hands roamed over my body freely, and I clung to him as he explored every inch.

    His warm breath teased my skin as his lips moved to my neck, grazing a sensitive spot just below my ear. With each soft touch of his mouth, I melted further into his embrace. He moved lower and found my nipples, taking the stiffened tips into his mouth, one at a time. His tongue circled around the small nubs, then he started sucking harder and grazing them with his teeth. I tangled my hands in his hair as he bit down hard on the tender flesh, causing small whimpers to escape from my lips.

    Eventually his hand moved to my backside, kneading the two globes of flesh and gently pulling them apart. My breathing hitched at the sensation. I felt completely exposed as the warm water tickled my entrance.

    ¡°Still doing okay, my Falyn?¡± Andrian murmured as he felt my heart pounding through my chest.

    ¡°Yes,¡± I gasped, ¡°I¡¯m good.¡±

    Andrian pressed his lips to mine again, his kisses more gentle than before. He continued massaging my cheeks, waiting for me to relax. I leaned into him, letting my hardened length press against his stomach so he could be sure that I was definitely okay.

    ¡°Keep going, Andri,¡± I commanded softly, ¡°I want this. I want you. I¡¯m not afraid.¡±

    That seemed to be what he needed to hear, and his finger began to circle my opening, so light that I could barely feel it. The feathery touches felt surprisingly good. I ground my hips against him as a pleasant shiver ran down my spine.

    I felt a pressure against my entrance as his finger began working its way inside. I urged myself to relax as he breached my walls, only going as far as the first knuckle. The bathwater helped ease him in, but his calloused finger felt rough against the tender, previously untouched skin. He waited for a moment, allowing my body to adjust, then he pushed further inside.

    His other hand reached between us and gripped onto my member, which wasn¡¯t quite as enthusiastic as it had been just moments before, and began stroking it. The finger inside me remained still as he worked my length back into a hardened state, then it began moving in time with his strokes.

    I quickly adjusted to one finger, my tight inner flesh relaxing to accommodate his movements, and he slid a second one in with minimal resistance. It was a bit uncomfortable at first, but he carefully probed my inner walls until he found a spot that sent a jolt of pleasure through my body.

    ¡°Is it there?¡± he inquired, making me shudder as he pressed against that spot again.

    ¡°Hnng, yes,¡± I groaned, ¡°right there.¡±

    Suddenly his fingers no longer felt uncomfortable. He crooked his two fingers and began plunging them in and out of me, grazing that one spot every time he passed it. His hand on my erection hadn¡¯t stopped moving and warmth began pooling in my lower abdomen.

    I clung to him, my nails digging into his shoulders as I rode his hand. It was as if he was stroking me from the inside out, and I felt myself growing closer to release.

    ¡°Ready for more?¡± he asked me, his eyes aflame as he watched me writhe and moan.

    I barely had a chance to nod before a third finger began working its way inside me. The stretch was more intense this time, but it wasn¡¯t painful; the way he opened me up felt as good as his hand on my leaking member.

    ¡°Mmmm, Andri,¡± I gasped, thrusting my hips between his two hands, ¡°feels so good.¡±

    Andrian redoubled his efforts, leaving me incapable of anything but unintelligible moans as the warmth in my abdomen spread through my entire body.

    I exploded over his hands and into the bathwater, clenching down on his fingers as he continued assaulting that spot inside me, drawing out my climax until I was left shaking and weak.

    As I came down from the intense high, I drew a ragged breath and said, ¡°Gods, if that was just the warm up, I don¡¯t know if I can handle the rest.¡±

    Andrian chuckled darkly, ¡°Oh my Falyn, you have no idea. I¡¯ve had so much time to think about all the things I want to do to you. I¡¯m going to make you melt and beg and cry for me tonight.¡±

    His words made my pulse race, and my spent member immediately began to stir again. We hastily finished our bath and dried ourselves, then Andrian picked me up and carried me back to the bedroom. He laid me down on the bed and I looked up at him through lust clouded eyes.

    Our lips found each other again and I tasted every inch of his mouth as his hands caressed my thighs and hips. I couldn¡¯t get enough of him, my hands roaming over his chest and back, trying to touch all of him at once.

    He broke our kiss and his lips began moving lower, down my neck and over my chest, and then he took my renewed erection into his mouth. I struggled to breathe at the intense stimulation. It was almost too much, having just had my release in the bath.

    Andrian¡¯s tongue teased my tip and up and down my length, before he moved lower, carefully taking the delicate sacs below into his mouth. I wrapped my thighs around his head and cried out as he gently suckled the tender flesh.

    Before I could process what was happening, Andrian lifted my hips and spread my cheeks. I only had a moment to feel embarrassed by the undignified position before I felt his tongue start probing my entrance. If you had asked me before, I would have denied that such an act could bring pleasure, but I couldn¡¯t hold back the wanton moans that escaped my lips.

    His wet tongue drew circles around the puckered skin before slowly penetrating me. It wasn¡¯t as intense as his fingers, but my body felt tingly and light as he explored my hole with his mouth. My hands found his head and I ran my fingers through his hair, gripping on and encouraging his exploration. Somehow the shamefulness of the act made it all the more enticing.

    If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    Once he had tasted me thoroughly, he pulled away, leaving me a panting mess upon the bed. I watched languidly as he grabbed the bottle of scented oil that someone had kindly left on the bedside table for us.

    He coated his length with a thick layer and positioned himself between my legs. He spread the excess oil from his fingers over my opening to make sure I was properly lubricated and pressed his slick tip against me.

    I immediately shifted to give him better access and whimpered, ¡°Andri, please.¡±

    I felt an intense pressure as he obeyed my wishes and began pushing himself inside. He moved slowly, achingly slow, as my body struggled to accept the wide tip. I was stretched wide open to the point of pain, but I gritted my teeth and endured. Then the tight ring of muscles at my entrance clamped down on his shaft as the widest part of him breached my virgin hole.

    He paused for a moment as he saw me flinching from the strain and asked, ¡°Do you want me to stop?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t stop, Andri,¡± I keened, ¡°I want to feel you deep inside me.¡±

    To emphasize my point, I wrapped my legs around his hips, pushing more of his length into me. He looked almost pained as he continued, his shaft slowly filling the incredibly tight space. When his hips made contact with my own, I realized he was fully sheathed inside me. I was stretched wide open, my muscles aching from the strain of accommodating such a large intrusion. It hurt, but it was a good hurt. I was filled to the brim with Andrian and I loved that feeling.

    ¡°C-can I move, or should I wait?¡± he inquired, his voice betraying his desperation.

    ¡°Ugh, I, think you, can move,¡± I told him, struggling to speak.

    He carefully withdrew, making me feel as if my insides were being pulled out with him, then he began to slowly push back in. He repeated the process a few times, until there was less resistance to his movements.

    Then he started moving faster, his hips moving in gentle, shallow thrusts that I could feel all the way to my toes. I wasn¡¯t sure if it felt good, but it definitely didn¡¯t feel bad.

    Andrian lifted my hips and his thick tip brushed against the spot that his fingers had been teasing earlier. I inhaled sharply and arched my back at the sudden shock of pleasure that coursed through me.

    ¡°Do you like that?¡± Andrian asked without pausing his movements.

    ¡°Yes, I like it,¡± I gasped, ¡°More, harder.¡±

    ¡°Like this?¡± he asked before thrusting hard, slamming into me so hard that the air in my lungs was forced out.

    I shuddered and let out a strangled cry, ¡°Yes! Like that. Ughhh, so good.¡±

    Like a switch had been flipped, Andrian let go completely and plunged into me without any hesitation. My untouched member throbbed and twitched every time he came into contact with that sensitive spot inside me. I lifted my hips to meet each thrust, trying to somehow take him deeper each time.

    Amidst the breathy moans and the meaty sound of flesh meeting flesh, Andrian grabbed onto my shaft. White hot sparks shot through my body at the double stimulation. His rock hard length hit that spot over and over, while his hand stroked me in time with his thrusts. Unintelligible sounds escaped my lips, my eyes rolling back in my head in ecstasy.

    ¡°Oh, Andri, I¡¯m¨C I¡¯m gonna¨C¡±

    ¡°No,¡± he growled, pulling his hand away, ¡°Not yet. Just a little longer.¡±

    ¡°No, no, no. Please Andri. Hnnng, I need to¨C¡±

    I reached down to finish myself and Andrian caught my hand and pinned it above my head. I quickly found my other hand pinned in the same position. All the while, Andrian kept pounding into that spot, making my need for release all the more desperate.

    I struggled against him as the pleasure became almost painful, but I couldn¡¯t get the friction I needed to be pushed over the edge.

    ¡°Please, Andri, please. I need to. I can¡¯t. I¡¯m so close.¡±

    I started crying as I begged him for release. I couldn¡¯t focus on anything but his shaft sliding in and out of me and my aching erection that dripped a clear liquid from its tip. I writhed and pleaded to no avail as Andrian¡¯s thrusts became more erratic.

    ¡°Just, ugh, a little more,¡± he groaned, gripping my wrists hard enough to bruise.

    The slight pain only goaded my desperation even more. He played my body like an instrument, leaving me trapped in the moment before the crescendo. Tears poured from my eyes as I babbled nonsensically and moaned with abandon. Every inch of my body was tense in anticipation of what would undoubtedly be the most intense climax I¡¯d ever experience.

    If only he would allow me to reach it.

    Three more hard thrusts and suddenly my hands were free. Before I could move, Andrian¡¯s rough hand wrapped around my length and started pumping.

    It only took two strokes before my climax exploded over our chest, and I practically screamed as wave after wave of mind blowing pleasure shot through me. I felt Andrian release inside me, the hot liquid marking me as his, inside and out.

    Andrian collapsed on top of me and we both struggled to catch our breath. I managed to lift my arm enough to wrap it around his neck and hug him against me.

    ¡°I love you, my Andri,¡± I whispered into his ear.

    ¡°I love you too, my Falyn,¡± he whispered back before slowly withdrawing himself from my depths, leaving me with a feeling of emptiness at his departure.

    He lay down beside me and I immediately placed my head on his chest, not wanting to let go of him just yet. Andrian wrapped me in his arms and let out a contented sigh.

    ¡°We should probably clean ourselves up again,¡± Andrian suggested as our sweat mingled between our bodies.

    ¡°No,¡± I refused, ¡°Tomorrow. I don¡¯t think I can move at all right now. I just want to stay here and fall asleep in your arms.¡±

    ¡°As my Falyn commands,¡± he chuckled and kissed the top of my head.

    We held each other in silence until his steady breathing lulled me into a peaceful sleep.

    The next morning, we immediately called for some fresh bathwater and washed away the evidence of our activities from the night before. While we bathed, the servants brought food for us, and we enjoyed a quiet breakfast once we were dressed.

    We went back to our room after we were done eating, and I decided that more sleep sounded like a fantastic idea. Andrian said he was going to go visit with his dad and left me to get some more rest.

    I hadn¡¯t expected to be as sore as I was, given that Andrian had always seemed energized the day after we¡¯d been intimate. I was a little jealous of his resilience. I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes, sleep easily drawing me back into its embrace.

    When I opened my eyes again, the sun was high in the sky and I guessed that I had been asleep for just over two movements. My stomach grumbled at me, telling me it was time for lunch. I changed into comfortable clothes, put on my boots, and left our room in search of Andrian and food.

    Uncle Alek had been given a room in the same wing of the Palace we were staying in, one floor up and directly above us. I remembered seeing a staircase near one of the many dressing rooms, and headed in that direction. The extra sleep had helped quite a bit and I wasn¡¯t feeling nearly as stiff as I was before. Though I had to admit that the aches were worth it and I would gladly suffer them again.

    As I was turning down the hall that would lead me to the dressing room, I heard a sickening thud, accompanied by an explosion of pain in the back of my head. That was the last thing I remembered before everything went black.

 Chapter Sixty Nine

    The pounding of my head was what awoke me. I wasn¡¯t sure how long I¡¯d been out, but I didn¡¯t think it had been overly long. However, how long I¡¯d been unconscious was the least of my worries. What I was more concerned about was where I was and who had knocked me out. I hesitantly opened my eyes, fearing what I would see before me.

    I was lying on the floor of a dimly lit room, covered in dust, but I was fairly certain I was still in the Golden Palace. If I had to hazard a guess, I thought I might still be in the old wing of the Palace where the beastmen were staying. Judging by the lack of windows, I was probably on one of the basement levels that even the Palace servants neglected.

    My head hurt so badly that I didn¡¯t notice that my arms were bound behind me until I tried to lift a hand to inspect the damage. When I tried to move, I suddenly became aware of the painfully tight bindings.

    ¡°Well, look who¡¯s finally awake.¡±

    The sound of his voice sent a chill down my spine. Looking for the source of the voice, I found Albrecht sitting in a chair in the corner, watching me.

    ¡°What? Aren¡¯t you glad to see me?¡± he asked with a malicious grin, ¡°I¡¯ve missed you ever so much. But don¡¯t worry, we¡¯ve got all the time in the world to get reacquainted.¡±

    Fear flooded my system and I struggled violently against my bindings. Albrecht stood up and I instinctively tried to move, but there was nowhere for me to escape to. I struggled in vain and used my legs to push myself away from his looming figure, only to have my back meet with the unyielding wall behind me.

    Albrecht''s grin widened and he said, ¡°Trying to get away from me so soon? You¡¯re wasting your energy. You won¡¯t get away from me this time. You have no idea how long I''ve been waiting for this.¡±

    He came closer, trapping me between him and the wall. I felt sick. I could only hope that this was a nightmare that I would soon wake up from.

    ¡°You were supposed to be mine,¡± he complained, ¡°I knew your father would give up on you someday. You were gonna be my prize for all those years of service. But you just had to go off and let that animal fuck you in my place. Did you like it? Letting that beast rut you and make you his bitch? Well? Did you? You fucking whore!¡±

    He backhanded me so hard that my head snapped back and hit the wall. Pain exploded, clouding my vision and leaving me dizzied. The pounding in my head was so overwhelming that I barely felt the blow to my face.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, little Julien, you¡¯re all mine now. We¡¯re going to have so much fun together. Now that you got rid of your father, there¡¯s no one to stop me from doing all the things I¡¯ve dreamed about. Remember all the fun we had with your mother? Weren¡¯t her screams the most beautiful thing you¡¯d ever heard? I bet your screams will sound even better. I was so excited when I heard you can talk again. It¡¯s been ten years since I heard that pretty little voice of yours begging me for mercy. Nooooo! Moooommy! Don¡¯t hurt her!¡±

    Albrecht laughed as he mocked me, falling into a fit of terrifying giggles. Then suddenly the laughter stopped and he looked at me with rage in his eyes.

    ¡°Why the fuck aren¡¯t you laughing?!¡± he shouted before his foot collided with my ribcage, knocking me to the floor. ¡°Fuck! It¡¯s funny! Laugh, you dumb shit!¡±

    I cowered on the floor as he kicked me again. His kicks hurt, hurt in a way that assured me he had broken a rib. He grabbed me by the hair and pulled me to my knees, then slammed my head into the wall again. Blackness threatened to engulf me, but it retreated when I heard him fumbling with his pants. Panic welled up inside me and I fought against my bindings to no avail.

    ¡°Fine. If you don¡¯t wanna let me hear that sweet voice of yours, we can still put that mouth to good use,¡± he said as he stroked himself to excitement, ¡°Open up for me, Julien. Be a good boy and this first time won''t hurt as much.¡±

    I closed my eyes and turned away, fighting the urge to throw up at the sight of his engorged member being aimed at me.

    ¡°I said,¡± he grunted before slapping me with all his strength, ¡°open your fucking mouth!¡±

    I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes as tight as I could. I would rather be beaten. I refused to submit to him.

    ¡°Too bad you won¡¯t be able to clench your ass shut too,¡± Albrecht laughed as backhanded me, ¡°I can hardly wait to hear you screaming like the little bitch you are.¡±

    He grabbed me by the hair and rubbed his length all over my face as he continued stroking himself.

    ¡°Come on, Julien. Scream for me, baby,¡± he taunted, ¡°No one will hear you but me. You know you want to. Let me see you cry.¡±

    I clenched my jaw even tighter, fighting against the tears that threatened to spill out. I wouldn¡¯t give him the satisfaction.

    He slapped me again and laughed, then grabbed my hair so hard I thought he might rip it out. His breathing became ragged as he alternated between hitting me and rubbing himself against my tightly clenched jaw. With each blow, the pounding in my head grew worse. Waves of nausea alternated with explosions of pain. A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

    Albrecht¡¯s movements became more erratic and brutal as he approached his release. With a final groan, he exploded all over my face. He released spurt after spurt, grunting and giggling, rubbing the foul substance all over my skin. He tightened his grip on my hair and pulled my head back to admire his handiwork. He smirked, then spat in my face and threw me to the floor.

    After a few solid kicks to my stomach, he spat on me again and muttered, ¡°Fuck, that was good. You¡¯re such a good little whore.¡±

    I balled myself up, feeling dirty and sick, shaking from the effort of holding back my sobs. I refused to let him see me cry, even though I knew he eventually would. This was only the beginning. It would get worse. Much worse. I wouldn¡¯t be able to hold out forever.

    My only hope was that someone had already noticed I was missing. I had no idea how long I¡¯d been unconscious. It was possible that Andrian was still with his dad, thinking I was asleep in our room. Did he know I was gone? Albrecht didn¡¯t seem worried about people hearing us either, which made me wonder how deep underground the Golden Palace went.

    No, my only hope was to help myself. Even if I was going to be found, it could be days before that happened. The things Albrecht would do to me while I waited for help that might never come¡­ No, I couldn¡¯t wait.

    I tried to calm my frantic mind and think. It felt hopeless. I was completely at his mercy; bound, injured, unarmed, and afraid.

    Albrecht had returned to the chair, relaxed and sipping from a bottle of alcohol, completely unconcerned with me. For the moment, I was nothing more than a discarded toy. I needed to figure something out before he was ready to play with me again.

    I shifted uncomfortably and felt something hard dig into my ankle.

    I felt a surge of hope. Albrecht hadn¡¯t thought to check me for weapons, and I still had the Marquis¡¯ wedding gift hidden in my boot. I almost gasped out loud at the realization, but quickly calmed my excitement.

    Looking in his direction, Albrecht didn¡¯t seem to have noticed anything. I had a chance now, but first I had to get my hands on the knife and cut my bindings without being caught.

    I unfurled my body and tried to move my foot back to my hands. The pain in my ribs was almost unbearable as I reached for the top of my boot, but I managed to bend enough that my fingers caught hold of the sheath. Just a little more and I¡¯d have my hands on the hilt.

    Stifling a whimper, I managed to get a solid grip on the knife and pulled it out of its sheath. I glanced cautiously at Albrecht, but he wasn¡¯t looking in my direction. I didn¡¯t know how much time I had, so I hurriedly adjusted the blade and began to cut the rope that bound my hands.

    The angle was awkward and I sliced my skin as much as the rope, but I ignored the sting of the shallow cuts. They hurt, but they wouldn¡¯t kill me. Albrecht would.

    The blade was razor sharp and cut through my bindings quickly, though it felt like it took an eternity. With my arms free, I remained in position on the ground, waiting for the numbness to fade.

    I glanced at Albrecht again, his presence a constant reminder of everything I¡¯d ever feared. Could I really do this?

    I remembered that morning in the desert, the morning of my first battle. Back then, I¡¯d wondered if I could face Albrecht with the same calm as I¡¯d faced the Devourers with, and I knew now that the answer was no. To be at Albrecht¡¯s mercy was far more horrific of a fate than the needle-like teeth of those monsters.

    But I could still think, couldn¡¯t I? It was alright if I was afraid. I just had to think and move at the right time. The best thing I could do was catch him off guard. I was too injured to even consider fighting him head on. I had to wait until he was ready for more and surprise him.

    Careful to remain silent, I shifted into a sitting position with my hands and the severed rope hidden behind my back. The stabbing pain in my ribs helped keep me awake despite the head injury that threatened my consciousness.

    As I waited, I promised myself that if I couldn¡¯t stop him, I would find a way to kill myself before he could lay his hands on me. I didn''t want to resort to that, but it was better than the alternative.

    An unknown amount of time passed while Albrecht sipped from his bottle, an aura of contentment about him. Soon, he began looking in my direction again. I remained motionless against the wall, my eyes almost closed, discreetly watching his movements.

    ¡°I know you¡¯re awake, Julien,¡± he finally said, getting up from the chair.

    He staggered enough for me to know that the alcohol had done its job. I silently praised the Gods that he was under its effects. Hopefully he¡¯d drunk enough to dull his senses.

    He walked towards me with a sick smile on his face, ¡°You can pretend to be asleep all you want, but it won¡¯t change anything. I wonder how long it¡¯ll take before you start begging. Will you cry while I¡¯m fucking you or will you wait til I start cutting you up?¡±

    My body trembled and I fought the urge to lose myself in my fear. Could I really do this?

    He crouched in front of me, ¡°Maybe I should fuck you with a knife first. Get you nice and ready for me. I bet you¡¯ll cry for me then.¡±

    I opened my eyes and looked directly at the monster in front of me. My limbs were frozen and my heart felt like it might explode out of my chest. The Devourers had nothing on this sick son of a bitch.

    Swallowing back the urge to panic, I told him, ¡°I¡¯ll never cry for you.¡±

    A gleeful smile crossed his lips at the sound of my voice, right before I plunged the short blade of the boot knife into his neck.

    He fell back howling, clutching his neck, ¡°You little shit! I¡¯m gonna make you regret that! You¡¯re gonna wish I killed you!¡±

    I unsteadily climbed to my feet, my bloodied knife still at the ready.

    ¡°No, you won¡¯t,¡± I informed him, my voice shaking, ¡°You¡¯ll never touch me again.¡±

    Despite the blood that poured from his neck, he still laughed as he said, ¡°Oh, I¡¯m going to enjoy this so much. Your mother got off light compared to what I¡¯m going to do to you.¡±

    Faster than I expected, he attacked, knocking the knife from my grip. He tackled me to the floor and pinned me beneath him. I could smell his foul breath as his face hovered above mine, his eyes bright with excitement.

    ¡°Did you really think that little knife would be enough? You¡¯re dumber than I thought.¡±

 Chapter Seventy

    Albrecht¡¯s excitement was short-lived. His weight pressed down into my wrists painfully, my arms straining against his grip. There was no doubt that he was stronger than me. He had leverage, and worse, he had my fear. The consequences of not being able to fight back were too dire to even contemplate. I had to act quickly.

    He had one of my legs pinned with his knee, but the other leg was still free. I shifted my hips, feeling for the ground beneath me, and planted my foot firmly. In one quick motion, I thrust my hips upward, slamming into him with as much force as I could muster.

    He grunted, and his balance shifted just enough for me to pull my other leg free. Twisting to the side, I hooked one of my legs around his waist and pushed with the other, rolling us over. His grip on my wrists faltered as he found himself beneath me. Taking advantage of his momentary lapse, I pulled my hands free, fell away from him, and scrambled to my knees.

    Pretend he¡¯s a wolf, I told myself, just an arrogant wolf who thinks he¡¯s better than the human. If I can beat one of those damn wolves, I can beat him too.

    To calm my racing heart, I thought about General Harlow, who had made no secret of his dislike for me. That asshole always made things difficult for me. I did my best not to show it, but it really got to me sometimes.

    But Harlow didn¡¯t scare me; he made me angry.

    I chased after that thread of anger and grasped onto it desperately. Anger was something I could work with. My knife still lay on the floor, a few feet away from where Albrecht was climbing to his feet. I needed to get my hands on that knife.

    But first, I had to deal with the wolf in front of me.

    I rarely took the offensive in training, so used to fighting people who were much larger than me, but Albrecht wasn¡¯t larger than me. Those wiry muscles carried a lot of strength, but he had a slight build, and the knife wound in his neck hadn¡¯t stopped bleeding. After months of training, access to good food, and some anger to dull my fear, suddenly he didn¡¯t seem so intimidating.

    I lunged forward and slammed my shoulder into his chest. My direct attack surprised him and I pushed forward, ignoring the searing pain in my ribs, and used the momentum to knock him down.

    I scrambled to straddle his chest and pinned his arms with my knees. Without a moment''s hesitation, I landed a sharp blow to his face. Unaccustomed to using my fists, I felt an explosion of pain as my knuckles collided with his cheekbone. But that pain was nothing in the face of my other injuries.

    I hit him again, breaking the skin of my knuckle open on his jaw, then again with my other hand, landing a solid blow to his temple. Seeing his eyes roll back, I glanced at my knife, sitting just barely out of reach.

    Drawing a shaky breath, I stuck him again, my fist hitting his neck, right where I had stabbed him. He howled in pain as I released him and dove for the knife. Every movement sent explosions of pain through me, but I blocked them out and stretched my hand, closing my fingers around the hilt.

    I barely had time to grab onto it and climb to my knees when a weight slammed into my back, knocking me back to the floor. The air flew out of my lungs and I gasped as his full weight fell on me.

    ¡°Not so fast,¡± he growled, his voice hot and ragged in my ear.

    I felt something press into my leg and realized that, despite being stabbed and beaten, he was thoroughly enjoying himself. His hand pressed against the back of my head, forcing my swollen and bloodied face into the floor. He rubbed against me and groaned.

    I clenched the knife tightly in my fist, the blade pressed dangerously close to my side. He hadn¡¯t noticed that I had it yet, far too focused on holding me down.

    ¡°Fuck yeah,¡± he muttered in my ear, ¡°that''s it. Keep fighting me. I¡¯ll have you begging soon enough.¡±

    He grabbed onto the waist of my pants and started tugging them down. Wild panic surged through me. No, no, no! This wasn''t happening.

    With a desperate jerk of my shoulder, I freed the arm that held the blade out from under me. My body screamed in protest, but I ignored it and slashed blindly behind me. Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

    The blade met with soft flesh, and Albrecht snarled. He tried to grab my arm with one hand while continuing to tug at my pants, which had slipped down past my hips. His weight shifted as he chased after my arm, and I bucked my hips, knocking him off balance.

    With his weight no longer holding me down, I twisted onto my back and slashed at his chest. Blood poured from the wound, and I continued to slash wildly, not caring about where I hit.

    Albrecht fell back, his chest a mess of ragged gashes. I dove at him, not even bothering to pin him, and plunged the blade into his chest with all my strength.

    ¡°I said,¡± I growled as I raised my arm and brought the blade back down, ¡°You will never touch me again!¡±

    As I lifted the blade again, blood spurted from the wound and his breathing became labored. I realized I¡¯d hit something vital. But instead of driving the blade into his chest again, a blow that might end his foul existence, I stabbed it into his stomach. A quick death was too good for him.

    He let out a strangled noise that might have been a cry of pain, and I aimed the knife for his shoulder. Over and over, I drove the blade into his body, avoiding the fatal blow. I thought of my mother, her beautiful existence so violently destroyed by his hands, and relentlessly continued plunging my knife into his now defenseless form.

    Tears began to mingle with his blood and the other fluids on my face, as I watched him begin to choke on his own blood. His teeth were stained red as he turned his gaze to me. Even as he gasped for his last breath of life, he watched me with hatred in his eyes.

    ¡°I guess you got to see me cry after all,¡± I told him with a choked laugh, doubting he would hear my words, ¡°You deserved so much worse. My only regret is that I killed you too quickly.¡±

    His body shuddered violently and his chest stopped moving. Albrecht was dead. The man who haunted my nightmares was no more.

    Another shaking laugh escaped from my lips, which quickly turned into a sob. Tears poured down my cheeks, washing them clean. The sobs devolved into wailing screams as the weight of what had happened hit me.

    I stayed in that room for a long time, long after my sobs had finally subsided.

    Though I felt no guilt for killing him, there was still the grim knowledge that a life had been ended by my own hands. It was righteous and it was just, but it felt like a piece of me had been lost. It was a piece I¡¯d gladly parted with, a loss worth its gain, but I couldn¡¯t help but mourn it nonetheless.

    I¡¯d thought that seeing Albrecht punished for what he did to my mother would alleviate some of my sorrow, but it only dulled the ache. Even if Albrecht was gone, it wouldn''t bring her back.

    Eventually I climbed to my feet. My tears were exhausted and my heart felt hollow, and I needed to find my way out of wherever he had taken me.

    The throbbing in my head was accompanied by dizziness and nausea, a concerning combination when faced with a wound to the head. Breathing was painful, but it wasn¡¯t a struggle, reassuring me that, if nothing else, my broken rib hadn¡¯t punctured a lung.

    I grabbed Albrecht¡¯s torch from the wall and opened the door. On the other side was a long hallway, littered with dust and cobwebs. However, as I studied the old carpet, I saw disturbances in the thick layer of dust, pointing me in the right direction.

    I followed the subtle footprints down the hall until I came to a darkened stairwell. Pitch blackness awaited me from above and below. Using the torch to light my way, I started to climb the stairs, one agonizing step at a time. As the adrenaline left me, aches and fatigue rose up in its wake. Each stair felt like a mountain I had to climb, but I pushed forward, desperate to find my way out.

    After climbing for what seemed like an eternity, passing one dirty, abandoned floor after another, I reached the top of the stairs. The hallway before me still looked like it hadn¡¯t been touched in many years, but fading sunlight shone through the windows, telling me that I¡¯d reached a level above ground.

    The pain behind my eyes was almost blinding now that I was facing a fully illuminated area. I wandered down the hallway looking for an exit door, still following the slight signs of disturbance in the dusty carpet. Eventually, I came to a door at the end of the hall with the knob broken off.

    I pushed against the door, but it didn''t budge. I slipped my fingers into the hole where the knob should be and pulled on it with the same result. I had no way to open it. I was still trapped.

    Summoning the last of my strength, I pounded on the door with my fist and shouted, ¡°Hello! Is anyone out there?!¡±

    Silence was my only response. There was no one on the other side of the door. I pounded again, hitting the door with all of my strength, and continued to shout.

    ¡°Hello? Help! Please! Let me out!¡± I screamed, and my head felt like it was going to split open.

    I continued my efforts for as long as I could in my weakened state. Soon my voice became weaker and the dizziness and pain made it impossible to continue banging on the door. I fell to my knees, tears returning to my eyes as I realized that no one could hear me.

    Was anyone even looking for me? Did anyone care that I was gone?

    I curled up on the floor next to the door and quietly sobbed. No one was coming. No one would find me. I was all alone.

    My exhaustion became too strong to fight, and the room swam around me as darkness clouded my vision. I¡¯d done everything I could. I had nothing left to give. Why hadn¡¯t anyone come for me?

    Just as the darkness devoured my consciousness, I heard a door being kicked open and voices calling for help.

 Chapter Seventy One

    ¡°It¡¯s been three days! Why the hell hasn¡¯t he woken up yet?!¡± a frustrated voice shouted, interrupting my slumber.

    In the darkness that followed my rescue, I dreamed many dreams. I dreamed of my mother, and her kindness and radiance comforted me. I dreamed of my father, whose cruelty filled me with fear. I dreamed of Albrecht, whose life I had taken, yet I felt no guilt about his demise. I dreamed of Andrian, who filled the empty parts of my soul.

    I dreamed of things that had already happened, of possibilities that might yet unfold, and of futures that would never come to pass. Oftentimes, I didn¡¯t even realize I was dreaming. I just floated, lost in the nothingness, occasionally hearing fragments of the conversations around me.

    ¡°He¡¯ll wake up when he¡¯s good and ready to!¡± another voice sounded, replying sharply to the first.

    I was certain the first voice was Andrian, but as for the other, I had no idea. But I heard no more, the darkness pulling me under once again.

    Then finally, I had no more dreams to dream. I was awake and aware that I was lying in a bed. My head throbbed with a dull ache, a persistent reminder that I wasn¡¯t dreaming anymore.

    I willed my eyes to open, but they refused to respond. My eyelids felt impossibly heavy, as if they were made of stone. So instead, I focused on my fingers, channeling all of my effort into moving them, even if it was just one. My index finger twitched. It was a start.

    I returned my attention to my eyelids, summoning all of my willpower to force them open. Light seared into me with a burst of pain, making the throbbing at the base of my skull increase tenfold. Though the room was dim, the light felt harsh and blinding, compelling me to half-close my eyes.

    The ceiling above me was unfamiliar, but it was undoubtedly somewhere within the Golden Palace.

    ¡°Falyn¡­?¡± a voice beside me croaked, sounding disbelieving but hopeful.

    I managed to turn my head enough to see Andrian sitting in a chair next to the bed. His eyes were bloodshot and lined with dark circles, as if he hadn¡¯t slept in days. He probably hadn¡¯t.

    But the weariness in his gaze vanished the moment our eyes met. His face lit up, ¡°You¡¯re awake?¡±

    Unable to muster up my voice, I managed a small nod.

    His eyes welling up with tears, Andrian shouted, ¡°He¡¯s awake! Erris! Willem! He¡¯s awake!¡±

    As if he had been waiting just outside the door, Lord Erris rushed into the room the moment Andrian called out, quickly making his way to my bedside. A beastman followed close behind, whom I recognized as one of the shamans who had traveled with us to Vrayna.

    Without a word, the shaman gently lifted my head and carefully poured a healing potion into my mouth. I swallowed the bitter liquid in careful gulps, and the throbbing in my head soon dulled to something more bearable.

    ¡°How are you feeling, my boy?¡± Lord Erris inquired, looking me over carefully.

    ¡°He feels like shit, Erris,¡± the shaman, Willem, bluntly answered on my behalf, ¡°and he¡¯ll need a couple more potions before he¡¯ll be ready to speak.¡±

    Much to the dismay of my tastebuds, Willem helped me into a sitting position and fed me another potion. Once I¡¯d drank it, the pain in my head was completely gone, as was the pain in my ribs.

    ¡°You took a very bad blow to the head, as well as your other injuries,¡± Willem informed me as he uncorked a third potion, ¡°We treated your external injuries as best we could, but the internal ones had to wait for you to wake up.¡±

    I was able to take the third potion from his hands and drink it unassisted. As its effects washed over me, any residual pain I felt melted away.

    ¡°Much better,¡± Willem assessed with a stiff smile and turned to Lord Erris, ¡°Now you may ask your questions.¡±

    Lord Erris gave me a full examination before pronouncing me to be completely healed. The worst of it had been the head injury, but two ribs, my cheekbone, and my jaw had been broken, as well as two bones in my hand from when I hit Albrecht.

    Andrian sat silently by my side, holding my hand. No one asked me about what had happened and I didn¡¯t volunteer anything. My injuries and Albrecht''s remains surely told the story for me. Andrian looked lost, like he didn¡¯t know what he was supposed to say or do. I just hoped he wasn¡¯t blaming himself.

    After eating a light meal, I was allowed to go back to our room. I was told I had slept for five days and Andrian had refused to leave my bedside. He had barely slept, barely eaten, and he had shunned all attempts to get him to do either. He was definitely blaming himself.

    ¡°You need to sleep,¡± I informed him once we were back in our room. ¡°I¡¯m fine now. Completely healed. You don¡¯t need to worry anymore.¡±

    Andrian looked stricken as he said, ¡°I promised I would keep you safe¡­¡±This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    ¡°And you did,¡± I cut in quickly, hoping to reassure him. But instead of calming him, my words had the opposite effect.

    Tears spilled down his cheeks as he lowered his head, trying to wipe them away, ¡°Shit, I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m so damn sorry. I wasn¡¯t there. I shouldn¡¯t have left you alone.¡±

    ¡°Andri¡­¡± I began, but that was as far as I got.

    ¡°No, please, don¡¯t comfort me right now,¡± Andrian interrupted, his voice tinged with panic, ¡°I¡¯m such an asshole! I should be comforting you right now. I-I¡¯ll calm down. I¡¯m sorry. I¨C¡±

    ¡°Andri, stop,¡± I said in a firm tone, ¡°I¡¯m okay. At least, I will be. One day, when I¡¯m ready to talk about it, I¡¯ll tell you everything. And when I do, I think you¡¯ll be really proud of me. For right now, all I¡¯m ready to say is that the worst didn¡¯t happen because I was able to fight back. You said it before, that the best way to protect me was to teach me how to take care of myself. It was scary and awful and I definitely got hurt, but I was the one who walked away. He didn¡¯t, because you taught me how to protect myself. Right now, that¡¯s what I need to focus on and that¡¯s what I need you to focus on too, okay?¡±

    Andrian nodded without lifting his head, ¡°I understand. And I¡¯m sorry. If you say you¡¯re okay, then I¡¯ll leave it at that. But¡­ can I hold you? Is that still okay? I don¡¯t think I can sleep without you in my arms.¡±

    Despite everything, I couldn¡¯t help but smile, ¡°Of course you can. In fact, I can think of nothing I¡¯d like more right now.¡±

    I lay down on the bed and opened my arms to him. Andrian approached hesitantly, his movements careful, as if he feared startling me. I patted the spot beside me, silently encouraging him. His expression softened into a sad smile, and he lay down, pressing his face against my chest. I wrapped my arms around him and he snuggled into me. He was asleep almost instantly.

    Lulled by Andrian¡¯s steady breath, I felt my eyelids growing heavy again. Despite having slept for days, I felt the overwhelming urge to take a nap. I closed my eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.

    When I awoke a few movements later, I found myself unable to get out of bed. In his sleep, Andrian had wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and pinned my legs with his own. I was uncomfortably warm and wanted to move, but I didn¡¯t have the heart to wake him.

    Slowly and carefully, I began untangling our limbs. Once free, I climbed out of bed. Andrian stirred briefly, then grabbed onto my still-warm pillow, hugging it as he drifted back to sleep. Knowing he would worry if I was gone when he awoke, I pulled out a practice sword and began stretching.

    Once I was stretched, I went through basic stances and movements, over and over, until I was sore and sweaty. It felt good to move my body after being inactive for so long. As I trained, my mind was blissfully blank, entirely absorbed in the present moment and making every muscle fall in line.

    I was so focused on what I was doing that I didn¡¯t even notice Andrian had woken up until I looked at him and caught him watching me.

    ¡°Good form,¡± he commented softly.

    ¡°I learned from the best,¡± I replied with a wink, ¡°My teacher is really good, but he¡¯s also really mean. Always tells me I have limp elbows.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s cause you do,¡± he shot back.

    I was working on what would have undoubtedly been a clever and scathing response, when there was a knock at the door. The First Prince was summoning us. It wasn¡¯t surprising, given the circumstances. I killed a man, but he had already been sentenced to death, so I knew there was nothing to be concerned about.

    Andrian looked anxious as we walked, likely concerned about how I would respond to being questioned, but I was surprisingly calm. I had faith that the First Prince wouldn¡¯t demand any sensitive details, so there wasn¡¯t much to worry about. Honestly, I felt far calmer than I should have. Somehow, my kidnapping wasn¡¯t weighing on me at all. It was just another terrible memory to process, but it was coupled with the relief of knowing that it could never happen again.

    We were led to the First Prince¡¯s favored meeting room, where he sat alone waiting for us.

    ¡°Falyn,¡± the First Prince greeted me solemnly, ¡°how are you feeling?¡±

    ¡°Remarkably well, Your Highness,¡± I replied, ¡°Better than I should be by all accounts.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d like to start by offering my sincerest apologies for what you¡¯ve experienced,¡± the First Prince began, his expression filled with genuine remorse, ¡°That should have never been allowed to happen. I have no idea how he evaded capture in the first place, and I am truly ashamed that he was able to gain access to someone whose safety was entrusted to the Palace Knights. I cannot express how sorry I am for our negligence.¡±

    ¡°Your Highness, there is no apology needed. The only person at blame is the one who wanted to harm me, and now he can never harm anyone again,¡± I informed the First Prince with confidence.

    ¡°For that, I thank you,¡± the First Prince nodded his head to me, ¡°And as both a show of remorse and gratitude, I have something for you. Someone, actually. One of the Knights of the Golden Palace, his service shall be remanded to you in perpetuity. I can assure you that he has volunteered for this honor and is excited to serve as your guard for the remainder of his years.¡±

    ¡°But Your Highness,¡± I protested, ¡°I won¡¯t be remaining in Vrayna. Wouldn¡¯t you be condemning that man to a life in exile?¡±

    ¡°Not at all,¡± the First Prince assured me, ¡°Along with your new guard, a small group of magic users, led by Lord Erris, will be going back to the Beastlands with you, along with a collection of the Palace Knights. The northern duchy has already concluded negotiations for cooperation with the monsters, and the eastern duchy is interested in establishing some sort of embassy to encourage trade and travel. I would also hope that you won''t be so strict that you would refuse him permission to visit home.¡±

    Sighing inwardly, I confirmed, ¡°And he volunteered for this?¡±

    ¡°Rather enthusiastically, actually,¡± the First Prince laughed, ¡°I was almost insulted. But I suppose you made quite the impression on him the other day. My dear cousin seems to be rather fond of you. Or perhaps he¡¯s simply excited to see the world outside of the inner city.¡±

    ¡°You must mean Evan, then,¡± Andrian surmised, ¡°If he wants to tag along, I can¡¯t see the harm in it, though I doubt a shaman''s apprentice needs a full-time knight.¡±

    The First Prince must have already known that I didn''t need a full-time knight, given my change in status. The Knights of the Golden Palace were sworn to serve for life, and never before had one been reassigned to serve a noble, which I no longer was regardless. Yet here he was, offering a Palace knight to a commoner.

    Thinking of our visit to the inner city, I realized that if I said no, I might be denying Evan a way out. Besides, I could always release him from his service if it didn¡¯t work out.

    Seeing no reason to refuse, I accepted, ¡°If it is what he wants, he is welcome to join us.¡±

 Chapter Seventy Two

    Our departure was greeted with significantly more fanfare this time around, thanks to the group of humans who were joining us. As the First Prince had promised, a small group of magic users and a contingent of Palace Knights were set to accompany us, and their families had gathered to see them off. All around me, people were exchanging tearful goodbyes, as though their loved ones were heading to war rather than embarking on a journey to hone their magical skills.

    ¡°Oh, my precious little boy!¡± bemoaned a round, silver-haired woman of middle age. ¡°I can¡¯t believe they¡¯re forcing you to leave us like this!¡±

    ¡°Mother, please!¡± Evan de Vray groaned, his exasperation evident, ¡°I already told you that I volunteered to go. I¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    It would have been laughable had it not been for the tears streaming down his mother''s face, as if her heart had been shattered. But I supposed that she had it harder than the rest, as her son really wouldn¡¯t be coming back anytime soon.

    Lady Carlotta and the Duke of Shelfort came to bid me farewell, assuring us that we would always be welcome in the eastern duchy. Lady Carlotta also reminded me that I still owed her a conversation over tea, so Andrian promised her that we would visit the Shelfort manor the next time we could get away from the village. Surprisingly, I found myself agreeable to the idea. I had thought I would never want to return to Vrayna again, but I¡¯d grown fond of the Shelfort family and thought it would be nice to see them again.

    As we passed through the inner city, the Royals gathered in the streets, sparkling like jewels in the morning sun. The females fawned over the departing knights, demanding assurances that they would return. A few of the Royals we had met in the cafe even approached Andrian and me, offering us gentle farewells and entreating us to look after their kin.

    The First Prince, surrounded by his ever vigilant guard, accompanied us all the way to the gates of the inner city. I had expected for us to part ways from there, but he continued on with us into the main part of the city. The bustling streets, filled with merchants hawking their wares and customers haggling for deals, came to a temporary standstill as we passed. The crowds parted like waves, a hushed awe overtaking them as they made way for our entourage.

    I couldn¡¯t say for sure, but I had a feeling this was the first time the golden-eyed heir had ever ventured into the main city. At the very least, it was the first time he had done so outside of a carriage. The First Prince, despite his middling years, regarded the city with wide-eyed wonder as we passed through the bustling markets and crowded streets. That wonder, however, quickly gave way to dismay as we entered the slums.

    ¡°As you can see, Prince Elantro, your city¡¯s slums are an affront to common decency,¡± Rastari remarked quietly, his voice so low that only those closest to them could hear, ¡°Can you truly say that you are proud of how you allow your citizens to live?¡±

    ¡°No, General Rastari, I cannot¡± the First Prince replied, his voice heavy with shame, ¡°I truly didn¡¯t know that it was this bad.¡±

    From what I was hearing, I had to assume that our Princely escort had been Rastari¡¯s idea. Judging by the First Prince¡¯s increasingly sorrowful expression, it seemed Rastari might have succeeded in sparking the change he wanted to see. For my part, I was simply relieved to see that spark ignited by someone who wasn¡¯t me.

    The First Prince continued on with us until we reached the beast camp on the outskirts of the slums. Witnessing firsthand the efforts of the beastmen, who were still hard at work distributing the last of the food they had brought, he looked truly abashed. I could only imagine how it must have stung his pride to see the beastmen doing more for his people than he ever had.

    Unlike when the Second Prince had appeared, the denizens of the slums didn¡¯t cower in fear at the sight of their future King. Rather, they gazed at him like he was a mythical figure brought to life. As they fell to their knees, prostrating themselves before him, there was reverence in their eyes.

    The Palace Knights who weren¡¯t guarding the Prince sprang into action, helping with the food distribution by carrying bags of grain to their intended locations with surprising alacrity. Since the Royal kin were rarely allowed to leave the inner city, I could only assume that this was their first time witnessing the devastation and starvation that existed in their own city.

    We bid a final farewell to the First Prince and Amelie, who had accompanied him. The empath looked like she might collapse under the weight of the emotional burden brought on by the misery of the slum''s inhabitants, yet she managed a brave, wavering smile for us as she said goodbye.

    ¡°You both deserve all the happiness in the world,¡± she said, a tearful smile gracing her face, ¡°If I can, I will seek you out in your village one day, once the aftermath has settled. Though, I believe that will be a long time from now. His Highness has a good heart, but he has been incredibly sheltered. He truly didn¡¯t understand until today. No words can truly express what his eyes have now seen. The poverty and suffering of his people has become a reality for him, rather than a concept, and I think he may finally be ready to become the King they need. I hope to greet thee on the other side, Falyn. You as well, General Andrian, and the rest of your companions.¡±

    ¡°No matter how many times I say it, it will never feel like enough,¡± I replied, ¡°Thank you, Amelie, for everything you have done for me. Your kindness meant more to me than you will ever know and I will always think of you fondly.¡±A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

    ¡°Aye,¡± Andrian agreed, ¡°Our door will always be open to you if you find yourself on the other side of the borderland.¡±

    She hugged us both tightly before leaving with the First Prince to return to the Golden Palace.

    When we reached the center of the beast camp, we came upon a grain cart that had been converted into a makeshift prison. Inside that prison were my father and his men. No longer a Duke and his knights, they sat in sullen silence, watching the bustling camp with rage and hatred written on their faces. And beneath it all, defeat.

    And that defeat was the most beautiful and satisfying thing I had ever seen.

    I smiled bitterly as I approached their cage¡ªuncomfortable and filthy, lacking even the space for them to properly lie down or stand. My father noticed me first, his scowl deepening as our eyes met. Despite his disheveled state, he straightened his back and narrowed his gaze.

    ¡°I suppose you think you have won?¡± he asked, his voice rough and dry, as though no one had thought to give him water since his arrest. They probably hadn¡¯t, not that I was concerned.

    ¡°Well, since you¡¯re the one in a cage, I can¡¯t help but think so,¡± I replied, meeting his glare with unwavering confidence.

    ¡°Worthless bastard,¡± he muttered, his voice laced with disdain, ¡°You¡¯re even stupider than I thought.¡±

    I choked out a laugh, ¡°What do you possibly think you can do to me now?¡±

    ¡°Me? Nothing,¡± he replied, ¡°I¡¯ll probably spend the rest of my very short life in this cage. You made sure of that, didn¡¯t you? You ungrateful waste. You should have died alongside your whore of a mother. But you¡¯ll get what¡¯s coming to you.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve lost. Is it so hard for you to accept that?¡± I asked, meeting his venomous glare with one of my own, ¡°Your worthless, stupid, disappointing bastard defeated you. All I¡¯ve got coming to me is a long and happy life with my mate.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t get all of us,¡± my father said, a sadistic glint lighting up his eyes,  ¡°He¡¯ll be coming for you and you will learn the true meaning of pain.¡±

    ¡°No, that¡¯s not going to happen,¡± I retorted, my voice steady and cold, ¡°and do you want to know why? Because I killed him. He¡¯s never going to hurt anyone again and neither will any of you.¡±

    I didn¡¯t wait for my father¡¯s response. I turned my back to him and walked away.

    By early afternoon, the camp was packed up and we were ready to depart. We were only a few movements out of the city when we stopped to set up a new camp for the night, far enough away from the human population for the beastmen to properly let loose. The human magic users, too sensible to enjoy the wilder atmosphere, quickly retreated to their tents, looking scandalized.

    Their escort, however, seemed to view the loud camp as their first real adventure. I saw Evan drinking with a group of females, charming them effortlessly. I took it as a good sign that bringing him along hadn¡¯t been a mistake.

    That night, I sat by a large fire with Andrian, slowly savoring a mug of mulled cider. A deep sense of relief washed over me, knowing that it was all finally over. The treaty was signed, my father would be brought to justice, and I was going home. Albrecht, the monster I thought I would never escape, could never touch me again. He was dead and I had killed him.

    ¡°So did it make you feel better?¡± Vargas asked, sitting down next to me by the fire.

    ¡°Did what make me feel better?¡± I replied, confused by his sudden question.

    ¡°Seeing him reduced to a lifeless hunk of flesh,¡± he elaborated, ¡°Did it make you feel better?¡±

    Realizing what he meant, I wondered if he had read my mind. I paused to consider the question before simply saying, ¡°Yeah, it did.¡±

    Vargas let the subject drop and stretched his legs out in front of him. After a moment of silence, he said, ¡°I¡¯m heading east after the execution. Apparently, there¡¯s been a huge increase in monsters attacking villages. There¡¯s been some other weird shit going on, too. Them letting me come to Humanland was one of my conditions for going. But joke¡¯s on them, ¡®cause I would¡¯ve gone anyway.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll miss having you around, but have fun with the monsters,¡± I told him with a laugh. Vargas was always up for an adventure or a fight, and the lion village rarely offered him either. Andrian and I had both suspected he wanted to go back.

    ¡°I will,¡± he assured me, ¡°It was nice to take a break, but I¡¯m ready for some excitement.¡±

    ¡°Just be safe. I¡¯d be pretty upset if you didn¡¯t come back.¡±

    ¡°Have a little faith in me,¡± Vargas said with mock offense, ¡°I¡¯ll show you! I¡¯ll bring you a dragon head as a returning gift.¡±

    For a brief moment, I was terrified that he actually would.

    Andrian and I traveled with the army and its prisoners back to the trading city in the desert. By the time we arrived, my father and his men were half dead from sun exposure and dehydration. Despite their miserable state, there was no room in my heart for pity. They deserved every moment of suffering, and I once again lamented Albrecht¡¯s comparably merciful demise.

    Their executions were a public affair, held in the city center for all to witness. I watched unflinchingly as my father¡¯s head was removed from his shoulders by Marshall General Zeke. His eyes found me in the crowd, and he offered me a grim nod just before he swung his sword. As the crowd erupted into cheers, I was finally able to accept that it was over. I was free from his tyranny forever.

    We left the trading city the next morning, both of us eager to return home. Against my better judgment, we left Evan de Vray behind. We both knew I didn¡¯t need him as my knight, but I was still shocked when he begged to be allowed to go east with Vargas. He convinced me when he pointed out that serving as my knight in the lion village would be no different from serving as a Royal Knight at the Palace. He longed for a true adventure, and it felt hypocritical to say no after I had accepted his service to free him.

    And so, we bid farewell to Vargas, Evan, and the rest of our traveling companions, then set off into the desert. We barely rested, traveling from sunup to sundown, pushing our horses to their limits. After what seemed like far too long, we emerged from the jungle and saw the familiar arches of the lion village up ahead of us. We were finally home.

    The End.