ã€ŠLone Gull Cryingã€‹


 Chapter 1. The Letter

    Blue shadows stretched themselves across the kitchen. The sound of the waves crashing against the pilings outside was soothing. Grammy''s house shoes slapped her heels as she made her way from her bedroom to the kitchen.  Abby, who sat at the table braced herself. She liked silence, her grandmother liked noise. Her grandmother entered the kitchen. Her usual, "Good Morning" was not spoken. Absently she flipped on the kitchen radio. Classical music, noise to Abby, obliterated the peaceful music of the waves. Abby looked at her grandmother. Her eyes were tired and red rimmed. She asked, "Grammy are you okay?"

    Without making eye contact Grammy nodded her head. "I¡¯m fine. Just didn''t sleep well." She cleared her throat and added in a strained voice, "You''re daddy''s coming home."

    ¡°Oh.¡± Abby frowned. This news was not good for her, but it should make Grammy happy. Only she wasn¡¯t. "When¡¯s Chester coming?"

    "He said he would call when he got his plane ticket.¡± Grammy''s hands shook as she pulled a cup and a tea bag from the cabinet. She lifted the cold kettle and poured water into the cup. She came to the table and sat down.

    Something was wrong, very wrong, it usually was when Chester made contact. Abby asked, "What''s he need this time?"

    ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°Your son."

    Grammy¡¯s voice had an odd quality to it when she said, ¡°He really doesn''t know."

    "What?"

    Grammy didn''t answer. She traced the rim of the cup with her index finger. It slipped into the tepid tea.  Again Abby asked, "Are you okay?"

    "Yes, just tired." Grammy picked up her cup of tea and left the kitchen. Her house shoes slapped across the dining room floor and then out onto the front porch. The front door closed with a soft bang.

    Abby gulped down her last spoon full of cereal, switched off the noise and took her bowl to the sink. She looked out the kitchen window. In the blue cloudless sky a seagull lifted its wings toward heaven. It cut sideways then swooped toward earth. It let out its piercing cry. It was such a lonely sound. An odd shiver chilled Abby. She had a bad feeling about this so called visit. She turned to go upstairs. Through the dining room window she saw Grammy swinging at an amazing rate of speed on the porch swing. In her hands was a single piece of notebook paper. Her mouth moved as she read. The paper was crumpled like it had been wadded up and smoothed out again. It must be the letter from Chester. Abby wanted to know what was in that letter. She started toward the front door, then she heard the squeal of school bus breaks. Crap. She turned ran upstairs grabbed her backpack, ran back down, blew Grammy a kiss and sprinted toward the bus.If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    Her neighbor, twelve year old David Spenser, stood in the open doors of the bus. Mr. Anderson, the bus driver frowned at her for holding him up. David said, "I told you my Juliet was coming. Hurry up my sweet!"

    Without even looking at David, Abby slid passed him and took her seat. The little creep as usual sat down beside her. He was just in seventh grade and she was in tenth. She scooted away from him. He started to move closer. She hissed, "Stay where you are."

    Softly he said, "Of course my love," and stayed where he was.

    *

    When Abby got off the bus that afternoon David was not with her. Thank God he had voice lessons after school on Fridays. Before going inside the house she checked the mailbox. Nothing but junk.

    Next door Mr. Thomas called, "Hey Abby."

    Abby waved.

    He came to her and said, "I couldn''t believe the mailman put your father''s letter in my box. It''s a shame too. It sat in there for three days while I was out of town. Hope Chester''s okay."

    Every one in the neighborhood knew the only time Grammy heard from Chester was when he needed money or was in trouble. She said, "He''s coming for a visit."

    The look on Mr. Thomas face revealed his thoughts. Chester must be in a real bind to come home for a visit. Aloud he said, "It will be good to see him." It was a bold faced lie. Mr. Thomas did not like Chester. Abby felt her face flush red as she turned away from the mail box.  She mumbled, "See ya," and took the mail into the house.

    Inside Grammy was teaching a piano lesson. He newest student was five-year old Jaspar, something, Abby couldn''t remember his last name. She put the mail on the kitchen table and got an apple out of the fridge.

    From the living room she heard Grammy say, "Very good Jaspar. You must have practiced."

    "Yes Mam I did. Can I get up now?"

    "Yes."

    Little feet hit the floor and ran into the kitchen. Jaspar climbed up on the stool by the counter. He pulled the pig cookie jar to him and opened the lid. He took a deep whiff of its contents then stuck in his hand. He pulled out a huge chocolate chip cookie and said, "Missus Pierce makes the best cookies."

    Abby said, "She buys them."

    "Nuhun, Grandma people always make cookies."

    "Who says?"

    He jabbed himself in the chest with his thumb and said, "Me." He took a huge bite. Abby didn''t know a little kid''s mouth could be so big. Like a cow with a cud he chewed his cookie thoroughly before he swallowed.  He took another big bite and started the process all over again. At the rate he was going he could cut at least ten minutes off his lesson time.

    Grammy came into the kitchen. "You are the slowest cookie eater I know. It¡¯s time to get back to work."

    "Do I have to?"

    "Yes. Your Mama doesn''t pay me to feed you cookies."

    Jaspar grinned. "I wish she did." He jumped off the stool and stuffed the rest of the cookie in his mouth.

    Grammy scolded, "You take smaller bites or you''ll choke. How many times have you been told not to take such big bites?"

    In a cookie garbled voice he answered, "Oh, bout sixty million."

    As Grammy was leaving the room Abby asked, "I was wondering if I could read Chester''s letter?"

    Abby saw panic fill Grammy''s eyes. They grew wider, then narrowed. Grammy gripped the kitchen chair. Abby waited. Several long seconds passed before Grammy said, "Uh, he called this time."

    "But-" Abby began.

    Grammy cut her off, "I need to get back to Jaspar."

    Abby¡¯s mouth dropped open. She stared at her grandmother. Grammy turned away from her and left the room. Abby couldn¡¯t believe it, Grammy had just lied to her. She had never done that before.

 Chapter 2. The Bay

    It was Saturday morning. The doorbell rang. Abby heard Grammy answer it, and then she heard the high pitched voice of six-year old Samantha Carter. Next came the awful part. Abby gritted her teeth and pulled her pillow over her ears. Samantha began her warm up exercises. Abby groaned. Samantha sucked at piano. As the child hit another wrong note, Abby felt a headache take root. Samantha began to play "The Animal Fair." From her bedside table, Abby pulled her rifle range headphones and shoved them over her ears. They were the only thing that the melody of ¡°The Animal Fair¡± could not penetrate. How she had grown to hate "The Animal Fair." It was the first real song that every piano student learned. She got up and went to take her shower. She turned on the shower before she took off the headphones. Running water muted the music but it could not obliterate it.

    After Abby got out of the shower and dressed she turned off the water. She reached for her headphones but realized the house was silent. That was weird. Samantha''s lesson wasn''t over yet. Maybe she was just eating a cookie. Abby went to her room, got her bag, and a book to read. Saturday there were piano lessons all day and Abby did not stick around. She was NOT a music person. Usually she went to the park or to the pier. As she put on her shoes she realized the house was still silent. Worried, she went downstairs.

    In the living room seated at the piano was Samantha. Her tiny blonde head barely an inch above the keyboard. Her little fingers frantically hovered over the keys. She started to strike one then pulled her finger back, studied her book and started to strike again, only she didn''t. Grammy, who sat beside her had a dazed expression on her face.

    Abby said, ¡°Grammy.¡±

    Grammy jumped. She turned her glazed eyes to Abby like she didn''t recognize her.

    Samantha whimpered, ¡°I can''t find the next note. I lost it. Where is it?¡±

    Oddly, Abby saw Grammy¡¯s eyes tear up too. She hugged the child and said, ¡°That is okay. We all loose someone some time."

    Abby asked, ¡°What?¡±

    Flustered, Grammy said, ¡°Go eat your breakfast so I can finish this lesson.¡±

    ¡°Whatever.¡± Abby stomped into the kitchen, grabbed a banana and juice box from the fridge and stuffed them into her bag. She shouted, ¡°I''m going to the pier."

    Grammy didn''t answer. She always answered. The music, if it could be called that, finally started up again. Hurt, Abby banged the door closed behind her. Stupid move. David probably heard it. Anxiously, she crept to the edge of the fig tree. In the shadow of it, she scanned the house across the street. The window of David''s room had it curtains closed. Hopefully he was still asleep. She wasn''t up to his dumbness this morning. Quickly she walked to the garage, rolled out her bike and pushed it to the curb. She climbed on and rode into the street.

    Humid gusts of wind blew off the bay. The black tipped wings of gulls sliced the sky above her. As she peddled faster, the breeze pushed against her. She turned into the park. The bay spread before her in a shimmering expanse of blinding light. It was so big and so beautiful. The sight of it always made her wish for wings. She hopped off her bike and chained it to the bike rack. The long fishing pier was lined with people of all ages and ethnicities.

    Abby went into the bait house and paid the pier fee. She got her ticket and took it to the man who stamped her arm so she could have access to the pier all day. Absorbed in her own thoughts she made her way down the pier. She kept her eyes straight ahead. She didn''t want to talk to anyone. At the end of the pier, her favorite spot, she sat down and pealed her banana. A gull swooped at her wanting to share. A few others darted around her. Once they realized she was not going to share, they flew away. As she ate she stared at the horizon line. The white sunlight caused her eyes to tear up, at least that is what she told herself. One tear had just crested her eyelashes when a hand touched her shoulder. She rubbed the tear away and turned. Ryan, David''s older brother, narrowed his eyes at her. "Hey you okay?"

    Abby didn''t answer. She popped the last of her banana in her mouth and slowly chewed it. She hoped he would take a hint and go away. He didn''t. He put down his fishing pole and started digging through his tackle box. When he sat down beside her his long leg bumped against her shorter one. "Sorry."

    Abby didn''t respond.

    He cast his line with skill. She watched the lure sink far away. She had never got the hang of fishing. They sat for several minutes in silence before Ryan said, "Sure are quiet this morning."

    Abby shrugged.

    "What''s the matter?"

    Ryan could be so nosey. She turned her back to him.

    "So, you want me to leave you alone, well I''m not. You might as well tell me what''s wrong? You know I''ll just bother you until you do." It was true the Spenser boys were very tenacious.

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    Abby took a deep breath, let it out, turned to him. "Chester is coming for a visit."

    "Your dad?"

    Abby frowned at him. ¡°Don¡¯t call him that.¡±

    "Do you want to see him?"

    "No. I don¡¯t think Grammy wants to see him either." Abby paused then blurted out, "Grammy lied to me yesterday."

    Ryan looked at her funny. He said, "Nuhuh. she is the most honest person I know." Abby used to think so too. He jerked his line. There wasn¡¯t any resistance.

    Abby continued, "She did. I swear. Mr. Thomas told me Chester''s letter got mixed up with his mail and Grammy claimed there wasn''t a letter, but I saw her reading it."

    "That''s weird."

    Abby nodded in agreement. Before she could say more, Ryan groaned. He jerked his thumb behind him.

    "What?" Abby turned to look. It was David. He was wearing one of his dad''s holy old t-shirts, red flip flops held together with duct tape and ragged cut offs. He looked like a homeless person. Abby asked Ryan, "Think I should jump?"

    Ryan shook his head. "If you jump he''ll just save you and give you mouth to mouth resuscitation."

    ¡°Gross.¡±

    David wedged himself between Ryan and Abby. He smiled, leaned against Abby and asked, "How is my Juliet this fine morning?"

    Abby said, "Dead last I heard."

    "Aw, come on honey, you know you''re not dead." David pecked her on the cheek.

    Abby wiped the kiss off.

    David slapped his hand across his heart and said, "Gees, you sure know how to hurt a guy." He sniffed and gently dabbed his eyes with the hem of his dad''s t-shirt.

    Ryan rolled his eyes at his brother. "You''re crazy."

    "Yes, I am crazy, crazy in love with," he fluttered his eyelashes, "her." Dramatically he sighed.

    Abby wanted to push him off the pier, but if she did that she would lose her pier privileges. The only thing she could do was leave. Only, she didn''t want to leave.

    David turned his attention to his tackle box. It reeked. He pulled out a slimy box of rotting shrimp.

    Covering his nose Ryan said, "God, David don''t you ever clean that thing out?"

    David smiled sweetly. "No." He turned to Abby and asked, "Does this bother you honey?" He pierced a shrimp with his hook.

    "Not as much as you do."

    David sighed. "Someday you will appreciate my devotion."

    Abby couldn''t help herself. She laughed.

    David said, "That''s better." He cast out his line.

    *

    A gentle breeze from the bay twisted around them. Abby sat at the Spenser''s picnic table playing rummy with David. So far he was winning. David¡¯s dad, Hugh, was grilling hot dogs. Grammy and David¡¯s mom, Lila, were down by the water talking. The wind blew bits and pieces of their conversation to Abby. She heard Grammy say, "His plane lands around ten, Thursday morning."

    Angrily Abby thought, Thursday morning! When did he call? And when were you planning on telling me?

    David said, "Your turn."

    "Oh." Abby threw down a two of clubs.

    David slapped down his card and scooped up the rest. "I won again, though I must say it pains me to beat the woman I love at cards.¡±

    Abby rolled her eyes at him. David grinned and added up his score, then Abby¡¯s. He asked, "Want to play again?"

    Abby shook her head.

    Grammy and Lila came into the yard. Lila placed a hand on David¡¯s shoulder and said, "David was just learning to talk the last time Chester was here."

    Grammy nodded.

    Hugh asked, "What, Chester''s coming for a visit?"

    Lila said, "Yes."

    "Mmm," Hugh said. He pulled Lila to him and tilted her face up to his. "You better not get any ideas about renewing an old flame." She smiled up at him. He asked Abby, "Your Grammy ever tell you Lila proposed to Chester?"

    Abby looked at Grammy. It seemed there were a lot of things Grammy had failed to tell her.

    Grammy''s mouth tightened into a thin hard line. For a second she didn''t respond, then she said, "Lila''s lucky he said no."

    "Hey," Hugh said, "I think I''m the lucky one." He kissed his wife.

    Watching Hugh and Lila made Abby feel funny inside. She looked away.

    Ryan rode into the yard on his bike. He didn''t bother to park it, he just dropped it and left it on the grass.

    Lila asked, "Isn''t Cathy coming?"

    Ryan shook his head and shrugged. "She had other plans."

    David smirked. "So you got dumped again?"

    "No." He didn''t sound very convincing. He sat down beside Abby. Grammy and Lila sat on either side of David. Hugh brought the hot dogs to the table, Gently Lila nudged Grammy.

    "I''ll take a hot dog Hugh," Grammy said.

    Hugh put one on her plate. Lila frowned.

    David asked, "Mrs. Pierce aren''t you gonna say the blessing?"

    Grammy''s face got pink. She closed her eyes and said in a trembling voice, "Dear God, Thank you for...for...this, this food. Amen." It was the shortest prayer Grammy had ever prayed.

 Chapter 3. The Past

    Sunlight slanted across Abby''s floor. She stood before her mirror and studied herself.  The dark blue dress Grammy had bought her fit her and she actually liked it. In fact it made her feel pretty. She went downstairs, expecting Grammy to be ready for church, only, she wasn''t.  She was still in her pajamas. "Aren''t you going to church?"

    "No." Grammy went back into her bedroom.

    "Why not?"

    "I need to get this room cleaned out for Chester.¡±

    Abby walked into Grammy''s bedroom.  It looked like she had been up all night. Packed boxes were stacked along the windows,  her clothes were piled on her bed and she had put all he pictures into an open box. Grammy glanced at Abby. "I''m sure Lila''s going to church.  Go with her."

    "Okay." Abby went back into the hall and picked up the phone. Hanging, on the wall above the phone was a picture of Chester. He had been a beautiful little boy with big blue eyes and dark curls. His smile always stirred some strange feeling in Abby that she could not name.   She looked down at the phone and dialed Lila.  Ryan answered. She asked, ¡°Is you''re mom going to church?"

    "Of course. Why?"

    "I need a ride.  Grammy''s not going."

    "What?"

    Abby sighed.  "She''s not going."

    "Is she sick?"

    "No. Are you going?"

    "No.¡±

    In the background Abby heard David yell, ¡°Tell her I¡¯m going.¡±

    Ryan asked, ¡°Did you hear that?¡±

    "Yes. Bye.¡±

    ¡°Bye.¡±

    Abby went back into Grammy''s room and told her,  "I''m going with Lila."

    "That''s nice," Grammy said.  She stood in the middle of her room staring at a picture of Abby''s grandfather. Abby noticed the glass in the frame was broken.  Grammy ran her finger along the edge of the break then tossed it carelessly back into the open box.

    Abby asked, "What happened to Grandy''s picture?"

    A peculiar frown creased Grammy¡¯s face.  "What? Oh, I, I accidentally dropped it." It sounded like a lie to Abby,  another lie. Grammy looked passed her and stared out the window at the sun spattered bay. By Grammy''s expression, Abby sensed she was far away, traveling down some memory she would not share. Without saying, "Good bye," Abby left the house  and headed across the street to the Spenser''s.

    Hugh answered the door. He was wearing baggy sweat pants and holding a cup of coffee. He led Abby to the living room couch and pushed some clean clothes over so she could sit down. Ryan came out of the kitchen holding a mixing bowl full of cereal.  Abby didn''t know how he ate so much and stayed so skinny.  He sat down on the floor beside her and flipped on the TV.  He smiled up at her then continued shoveling cereal into his mouth.

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    Lila came down stairs.  When she saw Abby was wearing a navy dress similar to her own,   she came over and hugged her.  Letting go she said, "We did it again. Twins."

    Abby looked up at Lila.  She thought about what Hugh said yesterday.  If Lila had married Chester she would be her mother instead of Susan.  Abby hadn''t heard from Susan in almost a year.

    Lila called, ¡°David, come on, Abby is here. I don'' t want to be late this week.¡±

    A great ka-thumping noise sounded from the wooden staircase.  David was hopping down the stairs one step at a time. He was wearing his duct taped flip flops, a pair of jeans with the knees gone and a shirt that had a mustard stain on it. Grammy would never let Abby go to church looking like that, but Lila did not even comment on her youngest son''s attire. The instant David saw Abby his face lit up. His devotion to her, was sweet but annoying. He said softly, earnestly, "You are even more beautiful than when we last met. How is that possible Juliet?"

    Lila scolded, "David that is enough.¡±

    He sighed and said, ¡°Yes Mom, but I couldn''t help myself.¡± His eyes held more than mischief in them this morning, more than teasing.

    Was it possible he had some real feeling for her. No, she prayed. Please God, no.

    *

    Abby sat down on the fold out chair in her Sunday school class.   Through the window she saw Ryan''s girlfriend, Cathy, getting out of her mother''s blue Cadillac.  She had two girls with her. Cathy never went anywhere alone.

    Abby¡¯s Sunday School teacher Mr. Peterson came into the room and said, "Morning Abby.¡±

    ¡°Good morning.¡± Abby smiled politely.

    Cathy entered with her friends.  She glanced at Abby and glared.  "Good morning Mr. Peterson," she said.  "This is Dewanda and Jamie."

    "Please to meet you girls." Mr. Peterson pointed to some the vacant chairs beside Abby. "Sit down over there.  You know Abby don''t you?"

    The girls looked at Abby and nodded.  There was something about their expression that worried Abby.

    Cathy sat down beside Abby and hissed under her breath, "Well, he''s all yours now."

    "Who?"

    Cathy said, "Right, like you don''t know."

    "I don''t."

    Cathy glared at Abby.  "You were with him last night weren¡¯t you?"

    "Who?"

    "I saw you."

    "What?"

    In a cold hard voice Cathy said, ¡°It didn¡¯t take you long did it?¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t take me long to what?¡±

    Cathy frowned. ¡°Stop acting so innocent. He broke up with me because of you.¡±

    Ryan wouldn''t do that."

    Cathy did not respond.

    *

    David jiggling on one foot asked, "Mom, Josh asked me to go out to lunch with him and his family. Can I go?"

    Inside Abby was pleading, please say, yes! She could not endure another second of David''s company.

    "All right."

    "Thanks Mom." In one quick move he managed to peck his mother''s cheek and then Abby''s. As always, Abby wiped the kiss off.  He only grinned at her. She watched him run back into the church.

    Lila said, "I am sorry about him Abby. I have talked to him about pestering you. He will be grounded when he gets home."

    This should have made her feel better only it didn''t. Truth was, David was one of the few people in her life who genuinely cared about her. It was just too bad, that for now, his care, had turned into such a huge stupid crush. She followed Lila to her gray sedan. The locks clicked open and Abby slid inside.

    As they pulled out  of the church parking lot, Lila said, "I need to tell you something.  It might help you to understand better why Grammy is acting so strange.¡±

    Abby felt her stomach tighten, she was afraid of what Lila might say. Lila¡¯s voice dropped and got a weird quiver in it as she spoke, "I may be speaking out of turn but I know your Grammy and she''s not one to bring up the past. For years she tried to keep peace between Chester and your Grandy.  It didn''t work.  When Chester finally left, it nearly killed your Grammy.  If it hadn''t been for you, I don''t know what would have happened to her.  So for whatever reason your father has decided to come home, Grammy is grateful but really scared."

    "Scared of what?"

    Lila said, "She believes she failed Chester. She  thinks that if she had just done something else his life would not have turned out like it has. She doesn''t want to fail him again."

    Abby remained silent for several seconds. She had no idea what her father''s life was like. He seemed to just live from one crisis to another that required money. When ever Grammy talked about him at all, it was only about him as a little boy. How that angelic little boy had become a vagrant was beyond Abby''s comprehension, and no one ever explained it to her. She asked, "Do you know what Chester is now?"

    "No.  I choose not to remember him the way he was when he left town.  Long ago he was sweet and sensitive and so eager to please.¡±  Her tone softened when she added,  ¡°He was my best friend."

    "Why did you ask him to marry you?"

    "Because I loved him.  I honestly believed that if he would just marry me he would turn back into the boy I remembered.  It wouldn''t have worked."  Lila''s voice broke, "It hurt so much when he turned me down.  It hurt even more to watch him destroy himself with his new friends."

    Abby said, "Susan was one of them."

    Lila nodded.

    "Do you think Chester coming is good?"

    "I don¡¯t know." Lila sighed.  She turned down their street.

    "He''s already put your Grammy through hell.  I pray he doesn¡¯t do it again."

 Chapter 4. Grammyâ€™s Boy

    The toilet whooshed in  bathroom.  Abby knocked on the door and asked, "Grammy, you okay?"

    Grammy came out of the bathroom dabbing her face with a wet washcloth.  Her face was very pale and sweat stood on her upper lip.  She leaned against the doorjamb.  "Abby, do you think you could stay home from school today and drive me to the airport?"

    Fear struck in Abby. It had only been three months since she got her learner''s permit and driving around town still scared her. She wanted to say, no, but the look on Grammy''s face told her not to say it. Instead she said, "Yeah, but you know I''ve never driven on the freeway before."

    Relieved Grammy said, "That''s okay.  You can do it. You are careful." She patted Abby''s cheek.

    *

    Driving down the freeway was scary.  Cars zoomed by so fast.  Abby had trouble getting on the ramps. Every time she slid into the right lane, she thanked God she had not killed herself or anyone else.   Still, she was doing better than she thought she would.   After surviving another ramp, the airport loomed in the distance.  The morning sun glittered on the huge glass windows.  The scream of planes taking off and landing filled the air.   Abby pulled into the short-term parking.  The multi-layer parking garage was a driving challenge she was not ready to attempt.

    "We are here," Abby said.  She handed Grammy the keys. When Grammy''s fingertips brushed against Abby''s palm they were cold. Grammy opened the door and got out of the car.

    Abby followed Grammy into the airport and up the escalator.  Grammy walked to a big glass window and sat down in a chair.  Abby sat next to her. Grammy pulled a crossword puzzle book out of her purse.  Her hands were shaking so badly she couldn''t even write letters in the boxes.  Abby placed her hands over Grammy''s, she could feel her fear.  Grammy nodded gratefully.  Tears stood in the corners of her eyes.  She was trying so hard to be brave.

    After awhile the flight number boomed across the intercom.  In a hoarse whisper  Grammy said, "That''s it."

    They both stood up.  Abby felt her heart beat leap to a faster pace.  Her stomach twisted into a knot.  Grammy gripped her hand.  After several minutes, a tall thin man with a guitar case passed through security.  Grammy gave a stifled cry and let go of Abby''s hand.  She ran to the man and hugged him.  He was obviously Chester.  He didn''t return his mother''s embrace. Abby stared at him.  She couldn''t see the face of the boy in this man - the boy in the picture at home who smiled  at her.  This man had not smiled.  His face looked like it didn''t know how.When Grammy led Chester over to Abby he looked at her and asked, "So, who''s this?"

    His word''s stung but Abby didn''t flinch.  In a firm voice she said, "I''m Abby."

    The hardness in Chester''s face changed to amazement. He said, "No."

    "Yes."

    He turned to Grammy and asked, "Can we get home?  The trip was a killer."

    "Of course,"  Grammy''s face was no longer pale.  It was flushed red.

    When they got down to the car Grammy didn''t ask Abby to drive.  Grammy climbed into the driver''s seat while Chester put his guitar case and green duffel bag into the back seat with Abby.

    Grammy started the car and drove away from the terminal.  When she got on the freeway she said, "I fixed up the downstairs bedroom for you."

    Chester mumbled, "Great." He leaned back against the seat and added, ¡°Can we not talk?¡±

    Grammy said, ¡°Sure, if you don¡¯t want to. It is enough just having you here.¡±

    In a hard voice, Chester said, ¡°Well don¡¯t get used to it.¡±

    Abby glanced up at the rear view mirror.  She looked at Grammy.  Grammy clutched the steering wheel like it was a live thing she wanted to strangle.  Grammy''s face had gone pale again.  Abby leaned over the seat and asked, "You okay?"Grammy nodded.  Abby leaned back and studied the bald spot on the back of Chester''s head.  It was smooth and shiny.  The Chester in the picture had such thick wavy hair. If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    When they reached the house Grammy said, "We''re home.¡±

    Before he spoke, Chester looked at the house and then across the street,"I didn''t expect to see this place again.  Who lives in Lila''s house now?"

    Grammy said, "Lila. She and Hugh moved in about three years ago, after her mom died."

    "Mrs. Jacob is dead?"

    In a shaky voice Grammy replied, "I wrote to you about it."

    In a tone that sounded like he could care less, Chester said, "Really." He unlocked his door and got out of the car.  His eyes were still fixed on the Spenser house.

    Grammy asked Abby, "Could you bring his things in dear?"

    "Yeah, I guess." Abby swung open her door and got the guitar case.

    Chester snatched the  case away from her. "No body touches this but me."

    Abby glared at him. Her expression seemed to amuse him. He smirked and headed for the house. Grammy ran after him like a forgotten child. Angrily, Abby thought, a grown man ought to be able to carry all his own junk. His duffle bag was heavy. She hoisted it onto her shoulder and carried it inside. Just as she reached the kitchen she heard Grammy say, "I hope you will like what I have done." Abby peeked around the corner just in time to see Grammy proudly opened the door to Chester''s bedroom.  Her eyes were eager like those of a child sharing some secret treasure during show and tell.  Chester''s face did nothing.  He walked into the room. Abby followed.

    Without looking at her, he said, "You can put my bag over there." He pointed to the bed. "I''d like to unpack now."Abby dumped the bag on the bed with an exaggerated thump. She hoped he noticed, but he didn''t seem to.

    Grammy asked, "Would you like some help?"

    "Not much to unpack Ma."

    "Oh, of course." Quickly Grammy backed out of the room.

    Abby said, "She worked real hard to fix this up for you."

    Chester shrugged. He reached for his duffel bag. "You can leave any time now."

    His words hurt.  Abby said, "So can you."

    Chester laughed.  It was a hard laugh without warmth. "That''s what you think, kiddo."

    Abby glared at him and left the room.  Chester was rude.

    *

    It was late evening. Abby sat on a flat piece of concrete piling. She tossed a bunch of rubble into the waves.  She felt sad and annoyed. She had come out here because Grammy was acting like a stranger in her own house. She told Abby to shush, not to stomp on the stairs or bang doors because the precious Chester was sleeping.  Angrily Abby took a whole fist full of debris and hurled it into the water. From behind her Ryan asked, ¡°Want some company?" Abby turned to him and nodded. He climbed over the busted concrete and sat down beside her. He asked, ¡°What¡¯s up?¡±

    "Chester isn''t that''s for sure."

    Ryan crinkled up his forehead and asked, "What?"

    Sarcastically Abby said, "Grammy''s little boy needs his nap time.¡±

    Ryan studied her face and teased, "Sounds like somebody''s jealous to me."

    This made Abby furious. "I am not.  Grammy is treating him like he''s visiting royalty or something.  It makes me sick.  She has waited on him all day and he hasn''t so much as said one thank you."  Abby picked up another fist full of rocks. Ryan¡¯s hand closed over hers.  Abby squinted at him and jerked her hand free.  She hurled more rocks into the water.

    Ryan asked, "It''s that bad, huh?"

    Abby nodded.  She didn''t know why but she felt like crying. "I hope he doesn''t stay long.  All he brought was a guitar  case and a duffel bag."

    "He plays guitar?"

    "Yeah, he plays guitar.  He sings and writes music according to Grammy."

    Too eagerly, Ryan asked, "You think he might teach me a few cords?"

    "I doubt it.  He doesn''t seem to be very friendly,"

    Ryan smiled at her and said, "It never hurts to ask.¡±

    Abby frowned at him. "That''s not necessarily true.¡±  She picked up a hunk of cement about the size of a softball and threw it into the water. It made an almost satisfying kerplunk.

    Ryan moved closer to her, so close their legs touched. He put a hand on her knee.  Abby knocked it off and moved away from him.

    Ryan scowled at her. "Seems like Chester''s not the only unfriendly person in your family."

    "Seems like David¡¯s not the only flirt in yours."

    Ryan''s eyes grew wide. Softly he said, "Abby I''m not flirting."

    Stupid boy. Abby got up.  "I think I better go in its time for supper." As Abby scrambled up the pilings she could feel Ryan''s eyes on her.  She didn''t look back.

    He called to her, "See you."

    She didn''t respond.

    Opera music drifted out of the houses  open front door. It was Wagner''s Die Meistersinger Von Nurnberg.  This was a bad sign. Grammy only listened to this opera when she was trying to be cheerful.  Why, Abby had no idea. Opera NEVER cheered her up. She walked into the dining room.  The table was set with Grammy''s best violet china. Her company white lace tablecloth covered the table.  Abby sniffed the air.  She smelled green beans, roasted chicken and hot rolls.

    Grammy called from the kitchen, "Abby, that you?"

    "Yes, Ma''am."

    "Come help me get the food on the table."

    Abby got the vegetables and rolls and put them on the table.  Grammy set the chicken down.  "Looks good," Abby said.

    Grammy nodded.  She went to Chester''s bedroom door and knocked.  "Honey, supper''s ready."

    Abby sat down at the table.  She heard Chester fumbling with his doorknob.  He said, "Uh, Ma, I''d rather eat in my room tonight."

    Grammy came back into the dining room.  She filled a plate for Chester, went back to his room and knocked again.  Abby heard the door open and close.  Grammy''s heeled shoes clicked across the wood floor as she returned to the table.  She sat down and sighed.

    Loudly, Abby said, "He could have at least said thank you."

    Grammy whispered, "Sshh.  He''ll hear you."

    "I don''t care.  I think he''s rude."

    Grammy''s voice hardened, "At this moment he''s not the only rude person in this house." Grammy put her napkin in her lap and added, "Now eat."

 Chapter 5. Romeo Does Algebra

    When Abby got home from school Friday afternoon, Chester was on the porch swing playing his guitar. The bay wind swirled around him. The tune was unfamiliar to Abby. The music was sad and gentle, even beautiful. Chester looked up at her as she opened the screen door. She hesitated as he studied her face. He seemed to be looking for something in her, and she felt herself looking for something in him. A single moment of reaching stretched between them. The moment ended when he said, "You don''t look nothing like me."

    "Grammy says I favor Grandy mostly."

    Anger filled Chester¡¯s eyes. "No, not him. Not EVER him. No kid of mine would look like him.¡± He paused a moment then swore. He glared at Abby and said, ¡°Susan swore you were mine, but honestly, I don''t remember creating you. Too drunk I guess." He leaned over his guitar and started playing again. This time the melody was hard and fast.

    Stunned and confused Abby walked across the front porch and into the house. He had claimed her and disowned her all at once. Did he even think she was his? It sounded like he had doubts. Now, she had doubts. This just sucked. Why would the topic of her first conversation with her father be about her own conception? She had always hoped there had been a little love involved. There wasn''t. It hurt. She closed the door and raced up the stairs. She ran into Grammy.

    Grammy asked, "What is it child?"

    Abby shook her head.

    "Something upset you?"

    Abby shook her head again. If Grammy had recently taken to lying she could too. Abby brushed passed Grammy and went into her room. She closed and locked her bedroom door. On her bed, she curled her body into a tight ball. She didn''t cry she just lay there too hurt to let herself feel.

    *

    Still locked in her room, Abby heard David arrive at 6:00 p.m. to make up the piano lesson he had missed on Thursday. She stayed in her room. The last thing she wanted to deal with tonight was his flirting. David began his warm up. He was Grammy''s best student and though he didn''t know it, he was the only one Abby ever listened to. She never wore her head phones when David played. There was power and grace in his music. He could take notes and make them reach places inside of her that no one else could, not even Grammy. When he began to play ¡°Moonlight Sonata," she put down her algebra home work and unlocked and opened her door. The song always made her want to cry. It was her favorite. She turned off her light and went to her window. The white face of the moon peeked over the darkening waters. A path of dancing light spread from its face. It called to her, begging her to run up its silver path. If only she could.A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

    When David finished, Abby sighed. He began playing some Bach. Abby wasn''t much of a Bach fan. She closed her door and turned her attention back to her homework. For the fifth time, she erased the answer to an algebra problem. It was her hardest subject. Letters never transformed themselves into numbers for her just like notes never transformed themselves into music for her. The words Chester had spoken on the porch haunted her. What if she wasn''t his kid? What if Susan had lied? If she wasn''t really Chester''s, then she wasn''t really Grammy''s either.

    The music downstairs stopped. Abby heard flip-flops slapping up the staircase. She groaned, ¡°Oh, God, not tonight.¡± Before she could lock her door, David opened it.

    He smiled at her with a warmth she did not know she needed. The little turkey was too charming. She was just about to welcome his presence when he dropped to one knee and recited,

    "Did my heart love till now? Forswear it sight,

    For I ne''er saw true beauty till this night.

    Romeo and Juliet Act I Scene v."

    A direct quote from Romeo and Juliet was not a good thing with David. Why a twelve year old read Shakespeare straight up and memorized it was beyond Abby. In a flat voice she said, "So, reading Romeo and Juliet again. It is so depressing."

    "Just the end, the words are like music." Without invitation he crossed the floor and flopped onto her bed beside her. He looked at her homework and said, "Algebra is not my Juliet''s subject."

    "You can leave."

    David asked, ¡°Do you need help?"

    She needed help. "Yes, but not from you."

    "I will make a deal with you, no Juliet cracks or Romeo quotes. You really need help and I want to help."

    "Promise to behave."

    "Promise." For thirty minutes David carefully unsnarled the mysteries of x and y for Abby. When they finished Abby said, "I wish I was as smart as you."

    "Everybody does." David propped himself up on his elbow and whispered, "I was hoping I''d get a glimpse of the mysterious Chester Pierce. Is he invisible?"

    "I wish."

    David narrowed his eyes at her. His expression was so similar to his mother¡¯s. "What''s the trouble?"

    "Chester. He just stays in his room, plays the guitar and eats. If he speaks at all he''s rude. Grammy acts like he is perfectly normal. Well he¡¯s not." Abby slammed her algebra book closed.

    David said, "Mama''s been asking about him. She wants me to tell her how he looks. I won''t be able to though."

    ¡°No you won¡¯t.¡±

    *

    Long past midnight the soft sounds of Chester''s guitar thrummed through the house. Yesterday Grammy had told her she thought Chester wrote the song he was playing. Abby didn''t understand how he could create something so beautiful when he was so awful. In his music, she could hear the water murmuring, she could hear the gulls crying and feel the sun shining. He played the song over and over changing a cord here, slowing down the tempo there. The music went on and on but Abby didn''t tire of it. It made her feel the way she imagined having a father might make her feel, safe and comforted.

 Chapter 6. A Kiss

    Bacon? Grammy was frying bacon?  Abby couldn''t believe it. Grammy never cooked breakfast.  Never. Chester must like bacon, of course Chester liked bacon, that was the only reason it was being fried by Grammy. Abby went down stairs. She was not happy to see Chester sitting at the breakfast table.  Grammy said, "Good morning Abby," like she had just had a swig of joy juice.

    Chester didn¡¯t look at Abby when she sat down. It was the first time she had been this close to him since they picked him up at the airport three weeks ago. She didn''t know what to say or do. Grammy put a plate in front of her. She was beaming. Abby glanced from Chester to Grammy. They did look alike. They were both thin with long fingers. Abby looked at her hands. She did not have long fingers.

    Grammy asked, "Does that song you were playing last night have a titled yet, son?"

    Chester shook his head.  "I haven''t been able to come up with anything."  He put his fork down and looked directly at Abby.  "What instrument do you play?"

    "I don''t."

    "Ma had me strapped to the piano when I was four." He looked at his mother. "I am surprised at you.¡±

    Grammy fingered the rim of her orange juice glass.  "That was when your father had his stroke. I didn''t have time."

    Chester¡¯s eyes clouded over.  ¡°Oh.¡± He picked up his coffee cup and went back to his room.

    The doorbell rang. Grammy said, "That''ll be Samantha, could you get the door?"

    "Sure." Abby left her cold untouched plate of food and went to the front door.  When she opened it Samantha''s mother waved from her car and drove off.  Samantha marched into the living room and seated herself at the piano. She had a very determined look on her face. She told Abby,  "I been practicing the Animal Fair every day.  I can play it through.  Want to hear?" Without waiting for a reply Samantha  began to play the song from memory.

    Abby clapped her hands when she finished.  "That was wonderful Samantha."

    A big smile spread across Samantha¡¯s tiny face. Dramatically she gasped, "Oh, thank you.¡± Her tone changed when she added,  ¡°My mom hopes I get a new piece today.  She''s had about all the Animal Fair she can stand for the rest of her life." Abby knew the feeling. Grammy came in and sat down on the piano bench beside Samantha.

    Abby dismissed herself and went outside. The air  was damp with a hint of autumn''s coolness.  She walked across the street and knocked on the Spenser''s front door. Of course David would open the door. He grinned, started to call her Juliet, then stopped. He said, "Follow me." Without teasing her, he led her to his mother''s tiny studio, it had once been the kitchen pantry. "If you need anything my uh..." He squeezed her arm, and left her with his mother.

    At the window Lila was working on a painting.  She had a green smear of paint across her nose. She up looked from her painting to Abby and asked,  "Bad morning?"

    Feeling tears building inside Abby nodded.

    "What is wrong?"

    Unable to articulate what she felt Abby just stood there. In an instant Lila''s arms were around her. The tears she had held in since yesterday spilled out of her. She blubbered, "Chester said, I might not be his and if I''m not his then I am not Grammy''s either."

    Lila let out a disgusted sigh. "Chester can be so hateful. You are his, you are Grammy''s."

    "Really?"

    "Of course."

    "I don''t look like them."

    Lila took Abby by the hand and took her to her filing cabinet. She opened and drawer and pulled out a folder. In it were old black and white pictures, one was a young woman. The eyes that looked at her in the photograph were similar to her own. Lila said, "This is your Grandy''s older sister Beth when she was young. I did a portrait of her for her husband after she passed. See, those eyes and that nose. You look like her." Though Abby did see the similarity, she was not  convinced. She wanted to hope, but she didn¡¯t have the courage to do so.  If she were Grammy''s wouldn''t she be musical in some way? Her life so solid, so sure was now a land of shadows. She did not know anything for sure except that Susan had given birth to her. Lila put the folder back in her filing cabinet.

    Ryan came into the room followed by the Spenser''s gray cat, Mr. Nick. Both looked like they had just woken up. Mr. Nick rubbed himself against Abby''s leg. She stooped down and picked him up. He was heavy. Softly she rubbed his fat tummy. He closed his golden eyes and began to rumble like distant thunder. It must be nice to be a cat.

    Ryan cleared his throat. She looked up  at him.   He asked, "You busy this afternoon?"

    From long experience Abby had learned it was better to question a Spenser boy before she agreed to anything. "Why?"

    "There''s a football scrimmage.  Want to come?"This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

    More information was necessary. There was something odd about the way Ryan was looking at her. "Who else is going?"

    "Just me and David."

    That should be safe enough, and it would be better than being stuck at home. "Okay."

    *

    Abby sat on the metal bleacher wedged between Ryan and David.  Every so often David would lean his head on her shoulder and bat his eyelashes at her.  He was so annoying. Still she would rather put up with him, than spend the afternoon with her maybe grandma and maybe father. While she was distracted by a cheerleader spinning through the air, David''s arm inched slowly around her and rested on her shoulder. She glared at him and tried to shrug it off.  "Move your arm."

    David just smiled at her.

    Abby shrugged her shoulder again, but he did not remove his arm. She jabbed him hard in the ribs. He let go and said, "If love be rough with you, be rough with love. Mercutio, Romeo and Juliet Act I Scene iv." He slid his arm around her shoulders again and crushed her to him.

    This was too much. Loudly she said, "Stop it or I''m leaving."

    ¡°Will do.¡± David pulled his arm away and grinned. In a stage whisper he added, "Besides they all think you''re here with me now," he paused, before he added, "as my girlfriend."

    Three rows down Abby saw a clump of boys David¡¯s age jabbing each other and pointing at her.  She glared at them. David was such a pain. She got up and moved to the other side of Ryan. There was no way David was going to touch her again. There was no way those little junior high boys could believe she was David''s girlfriend. She glanced at them. They were so dumb.

    Players ran up the field and down the field. Abby had no idea what was going on. She asked, "Are we winning?"

    Without taking his eyes off the field, Ryan said, "Look at the score board."

    On the other side of him David said, "Yes, honey we''re winning."

    She pretended not to hear. To  Ryan she said, "I''m going to get a coke.  You want one?"

    Ryan shook his head. David stood up and said, "I do. I''ll come with you."

    "No, you won''t.  Ryan, make his stay." Ryan grabbed hold of David''s sweatshirt while she left the bleachers.  At the concession stand she saw Jaspar Glenn and his mother.

    Jaspar said, "Hi, Abby." He smiled big and pointed at the latest gap in his teeth.  "Lost another one." He pulled a dollar out of his jeans pocket. ¡°This is what the Tooth Fairy bringed me last night.¡±

    ¡°You are rich.¡±

    He grinned. "I know."

    Mrs. Glenn nervously said, "Uh-h I heard your father has come for a visit."

    Great, Abby thought.  "Yes Ma''am." The woman at the counter asked for her order. ¡°Two large cokes.¡±

    Mrs. Glenn blushed before she spoke again. "I remember when I was in the eighth grade, Chester was the drum major.  I will never forget the way he''d throw his head way back and march across the field.  He was something.¡± She sighed then added,  ¡°I had the worst crush on him."

    Abby''s mouth silently formed the word, oh.  The woman at the counter gave Abby her drinks.  Abby slid the quarters to her.

    Jaspar saw someone he knew and took out after them. His mom told Abby,  "See you, Thursday."

    "Yeah, see you then." Thursday seemed like a long time from now. She sighed and headed back up the bleachers. Ryan was still holding onto David. He let go and she handed David his drink.

    Ryan said, "The shrimp almost go away twice."

    David smiled up at her. "Where love goes I must follow."

    Abby didn''t respond. She was getting a headache and she wanted to go home. Before she could tell Ryan she was leaving, David said, "Lookey over there."

    Ryan asked, "Who''s that man with Mom?"

    At first Abby didn''t recognize him.  He had his head tilted back laughing. She had never even seen him smile. Lila leaned against the fence and made a funny face.

    David said, "Must be somebody she went to school with."

    "It is," Abby said.  "That''s Chester."

    David asked, "Your daddy?"

    Abby glared at him. "Don''t ever call him that."

    David squinted at Chester.

    Lila motioned for them to come down. Abby wasn¡¯t going down there.  She looked away.  Ryan and David got up.

    Ryan asked, "Aren¡¯t you coming?"

    "No." She took a slow sip of her drink as they passed by her.

    *

    When Abby got home from the game, Grammy was in the kitchen sorting through coupons.  "We win?"

    "Yes," at least that is what David told her.

    Grammy looked at her kind of funny.  "You and Ryan are just friends, right?"

    "Yes." She pulled a glass out of the cabinet and sat it on the counter.

    "Does he have a girlfriend?"

    What was Grammy getting at? ¡°Why are you so interested in Ryan''s love life?"

    Grammy shrugged and crumpled up an expired coupon. ¡°I¡¯m not. I am interested in you. Was today a date?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    Grammy seemed relieved.

    Abby poured herself some apple juice and went up to her room. Through the window the sun tossed peach fire upon the water. It was beautiful. Her eyes traveled down the shore. She saw two people huddled together on her favorite piling. It was Chester and Lila.  They were sitting so close, too close. She saw Chester  kiss Lila¡¯s cheek. Abby waited for Lila to slap Chester or at least move away from him. Instead she smiled and put her head on his shoulder.

    *

    Abby groaned. It was after midnight and she couldn''t sleep. On bare feet she crept out of her room and down the stairs.  The front door creaked softly as she opened it. The sound of the night waves reached out to sooth her. She slid onto the porch swing, curled her legs beneath her. Back and forth she swung.  The beams of head lights slashed through the dark. She scrunched down on the swing and hid. A car pulled up into the Spenser¡¯s driveway. Someone got out of the car.  She heard Ryan''s voice and then the car pulled away.  She waited awhile before she sat back up. She didn''t want Ryan to know she was awake.

    From the bushes a dark form appeared.

    Abby squealed.

    Ryan laughed.  He came through the screen door followed by Mr. Nick. The cat jumped on the swing and curled up in Abby''s lap. Ryan sat down beside her. He smelled sweaty.

    He asked, "What are you doing out here?"

    "Listening to the waves."

    Without asking if she wanted his company, he sat down beside her. Truth was she really was sick of her own company, so she didn¡¯t tell him to go. Gently he set the swing in motion.  The sound of Mr. Nick''s purr blended with the shush of the waves against the pilings.  The pilings...all at once Abby blurted out, "I saw Chester kiss Lila."

    Ryan slammed his feet down and stopped the swing. Mr. Nick jumped out of his arms. Angrily Ryan asked, "What did you say?"

    Though she knew he had heard her, she replied, "I said, I saw Chester kiss your mother this evening." Abby pointed toward the pilings and said, "Over there."

    Too loudly he asked, "On the lips?"

    If he woke Grammy, there would be hell to pay. "Shh, not so loud.  They were sitting really close and he kissed her cheek. I don¡¯t know if they mouth kissed."

    In a firm but worried voice, Ryan said, ¡°My mom would not mouth kiss anybody but my dad.¡± He got up and opened the screen door. Mr. Nick scampered into the night and Ryan followed.

    Miserably, Abby drew her knees up under her chin. From the house the sound of the guitar began to play. There was no way she was listening to that tonight. Quietly, she went up stairs to her room and jammed on her rifle range headphones. Chester¡¯s gentle music could not penetrate the sound barrier.

 Chapter 7. On the Water

    Sunday afternoon Abby was in her room watching a Clark Gable movie.  Though she had the TV''s volume up loud, it still didn¡¯t drown out the sound of Chester playing his stupid guitar.  He was working on another song, and it did not seem to be going well. The front door banged open. Abby groaned. It had to be David.  He never knocked. He considered Grammy''s house an extension of his own. The guitar playing stopped. Abby muted the TV.  She heard Chester ask, "Are you Lila''s youngest?"

    "Yes. That is a beautiful guitar."

    "Thanks." Much to Abby''s surprise she heard the unmistakable sound of a guitar being handed from one musician to another. What? He said, nobody touched his precious guitar but him. "Will you play me something? Ma tells me you are quite a wonder."

    "Sure." With one quick strum, David launched into a song Abby had never heard before.

    When he finished, Chester asked, "Did you write that?"

    "Yup."

    "Man, you are pretty good."

    "Thanks." The guitar was passed back.  David asked, "Is Abby here?"

    Silently Abby prayed, Please say NO!

    "I think she is upstairs."

    Crap!

    The guitar music began again.David''s flip flops slapped up the stairs. He knocked on her door and opened it before she could respond.

    "How many times have I told you to NOT walk into my room until I say come in?"

    The light in David''s eyes turned to that unmistakable spark of mischief. "O speak again bright angel-"

    Abby cut him off. "Leave. Now."

    He didn''t. He walked over to her TV to see what she was watching. "My mom likes that old dude too." He looked out her window. "Want to go sailing with me and Ryan?"

    She wanted very much to be out on the water, to be part of something bigger than she was. If only she could go alone, without the Spenser boys, but she didn''t know how to sail and Grammy didn''t have boat.  "I guess."

    *

    The road to the yacht club was twisting and tree lined. Shadows fell across Abby as she pedaled. David was in front of her showing off, riding on one wheel.  He was doing it to impress her, but she was not impressed. She yelled, "You are gonna kill yourself. Stop it."

    He leveled his bike, cast a glance backward and said, "See you do care about me."

    It was true, but she didn''t say so.

    Ryan was riding his mother''s old lady bike. In the basket was Mr. Nick. Where Ryan went, Mr. Nick went if he could. They had some kind of mysterious inseparable bond. He pedaled beside Abby.  When David rounded the corner in front of them, Ryan said, ¡°This morning Mom was talking to Dad about being on the pilings with Chester. Dad doesn''t seem the least bit worried."If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

    "Does he know Chester kissed her?"

    "Uh, no." Ryan became suddenly angry and said, "My mother wouldn''t do anything."

    Abby wasn¡¯t so sure, but she said, "Yeah, but we both think Chester might."

    Grimly, Ryan nodded. They rounded the corner. Dazzling light scattered across the water,  sailboat masts thrust long fingers into the blue sky.  There wasn''t much wind.  David was waiting for them at the gate.  He was talking to the guard, Mr. Henderson.

    When Abby pulled up beside him on her bike, David said, "Juliet, thou art slow."

    Abby punched him in the arm, "I wish you would quit calling me that. Besides Romeo would never say that."

    David rubbed his arm.  He looked at Mr. Henderson and said, "She called me Romeo."

    "I did not." Mr. Henderson smiled at Abby. He motioned them through the gate. They parked their bikes. Mr. Nick mewed loud so Ryan would carry him. Down the wooden pier, they walked.  Near the end, the Spenser''s little white sail boat, Sanity,  bobbed up and down.  Without hesitation, Mr. Nick leapt from Ryan''s arms onto the deck of the boat. He jumped up beside the captain''s seat and stretched out his fat body.  Taking a giant leap David bound  onto the boat. The whole thing tilt crazily back and forth. Mr. Nick hissed at him.

    Angry, Ryan said, "How many times have you been told not to do that."

    "Apparently not enough." He grinned and held out his hand to Abby. She did not take it.

    Going from solid to wavering always scared her, Abby made the climbed without assistance. She sat down quick on the first seat. Ryan untethered the boat. Without rocking the boat even a little, he stepped on board.  David unlashed the sail, grabbed his binoculars and clambered over the cabin to the prow.  Ryan took the captain''s seat between Mr. Nick, and Abby. Skillfully he maneuvered the boat out of the marina and into the bay.  Seagulls swooped and squawked overhead. Abby felt her worries slide away from her.  A school of fish skimmed the water, their bodies caught the sun and shimmered silver. The wind picked up some and the sail puffed taunt. Their speed increased and it was glorious. At some point in time Ryan put his arm behind her.  He didn''t touch her but she could feel the closeness of him.

    Though Abby had put her worries behind her, Ryan had not. His worries came crashing into her fragile peace. He asked, "How much longer do you think Chester is going to be here?"

    "I don''t know.  He won''t leave soon enough for me."

    "Me either. Find out would ya?"

    "I can try. Chester doesn''t talk much and what he has to say, I don''t care to hear."

    David called, "Come look at this Abby.¡±

    She did not want to think about stupid Chester, much less talk about him. She got up.  Ryan lightly brushed his hand along the length of her arm as she stood.  Her arm tingled where he touched her.  That had never happened before.  As she crawled over the cabin, she looked back at Ryan. He was watching her.  His eyes were telling her something, she did not want to know.  Quickly, she turned around.

    Binoculars planted over his eyes, David studied a distant ship.  "It''s flying a Spanish flag." He handed the binoculars to her.

    Though the binoculars were sweaty, she pressed them to her eyes. That odd moment when far becomes near, made her feel nauseous, then it passed. She saw the beautiful gold and red flag flutter in the breeze.  She wondered what it was like to be so far from home.  She had never even been out of Texas.

    "I''m going to Spain someday," David said.  "I''m going to travel the world with my Juliet by my side."

    "Good for her." She handed him back his binoculars.

    "It will be, you just wait." David lifted his binoculars up to his eyes and scanned the horizon.  "Your daddy-"

    "Don''t call him that."

    ¡°Sorry.  Chester''s traveled a lot hasn¡¯t he?"

    "Yeah," Abby said. She thought, on Grammy''s money.

    David put down the binoculars and looked her directly in the eyes. He lowered his voice and said, "I¡¯m not sure he will be going many more places."

    "What makes you say that?"

    Before he answered David flipped the binoculars, so he could look through the bigger lens. "I think there''s something wrong with him."

    "No there isn¡¯t."

    "When you get home, look at him.  Really look.  You''ll see what I mean."  David handed Abby the binoculars. "Look through them backwards. Its weird."

    Stunned by David''s words, she did as she was told.  Through the big lenses everything that had been close seemed far away.

    *

    That evening when Abby got home, Chester was on the front porch.  Pages of sheet music littered the floor around his feet.  He glanced up at Abby.  For the first time she saw how pale he was and the dark circles under his eyes.  She could clearly see the bones and veins in his hands as he held his guitar.  His thin fingers moved across the strings. Abby remained where she was  and  listened to him play.  He stopped. "I can''t seem to find the chord."

    Abby didn''t know what to say, so she nodded.

    He went through the cords again.  He bent his head and stared at the strings. A small smile spread across his lips, his fingers began to  move.  They looked like they were dancing up and down the guitar neck. He had found the chord he was looking for. It sounded like a lone gull crying above the ocean¡¯s waves.  His discovery transported him to another place and time.  Quietly, she went inside.

 Chapter 8. The Storm

    Friday afternoon when Abby got off the bus, the sky was overcast and the water was dull. Grammy''s car was not in the drive. This was unusual. Grammy was always home when she got home. Great, thought Abby, an afternoon with my dad. This will be fun. NOT.  She got the mail and went to the back door. It was locked. She walked around to the front and onto the porch. She knocked, but no one answered. Stupid Chester probably couldn''t hear her over his guitar playing. She fished through her backpack and found her house key. It had been a long time since she had used it. The lock clicked open and she walked inside. Something very rare greeted her. Silence. If Grammy was awake  some sort of music was always playing, Chester was the same. Abby couldn''t remember the last time the house had been so still, so silent.

    Propped up against the floral center piece on the dining room table was a note.  It said,

    Abigail,

    Chester and I have gone to Houston.  Be back around

    5:00.

    Love, Grammy

    That was it. No explanation, no real destination. Houston was huge, they could be anywhere.  She went upstairs and turned on her TV. The noise of it, did not ease the sense of panic that was growing inside of her. She did not know why she felt scared, but she did.

    The phone rang.  Abby went downstairs to answer it. When she picked up,  Ryan said,  "Hey. Mom wants me to go check on the boat."  He hesitated before he asked,   ¡°Want to come along?"

    Usually, Abby would have said no.  Being out in the weather was not her favorite thing, but the emptiness of the house was giving her the creeps. "Sure."

    "Great! Meet you outside."Ryan sounded a bit too enthusiastic.

    Abby hung up the phone and went to the hall closet and got her rain poncho. It was bright yellow. David always called her his ''sweet duck Juliet'' when she wore it. Stupid David. She went out and locked the front door. The smell of rain was heavy in the air.  Ryan drove his four wheeler out of the garage. Abby was scared of the thing. She did not like the rumble of it or the way Ryan drove.  When he pulled in her drive he handed her a helmet. Noticing her reluctance he yelled above the roar of the machine, "I will be careful I promise."

    She yelled back, "You better!"

    He smiled at her. His smile cut into her sideways. Butterflies in her stomach, really? Ryan had NEVER given her butterflies. Something was seriously wrong with her. She climbed behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.  Grammy was not affectionate. Her hugs were quick and her kisses were pecks at best. Abby couldn''t remember the last time she had been this close to anyone much less a boy. He took off fast, but did not drive like the crazy he was. Over head dark clouds piled and the wind began to gust.

    At the marina the sailboats pitched back and forth pulling against their moorings.  Ryan parked and Abby climbed off.  She followed him to Sanity.  He unlocked the hatch door for her and she went inside.  The wind slammed the door behind her.  She could hear Ryan''s foot steps on the deck as he checked each line''s security. She lay down on the cabin''s tiny bed. The motion of the boat reminded her of being rocked by someone. She closed her eyes.

    The hatch door opened and Ryan came inside.  Quietly he crept onto the bed beside her and asked,  "You asleep?"

    "No."  She opened her eyes.  Ryan''s nose was almost touching hers.   He leaned even closer and his lips touched hers. The softness of his lips was a surprise. Abby had never been kissed on the mouth by anyone. David had tried once, but she had ducked and he had hit her ear. Ryan''s eyes were closed. Sudden anger ripped through her. He had just stolen her first kiss! She had planned what her first kiss would be like and it did not involve a Spenser.  She pulled away from him and wiped her mouth.

    Ryan''s eyes opened. There was something in them that disturbed her. Something that made her feel not special. Had she kissed badly? How could she kiss good, she didn''t have any experience? Embarrassment flushed her face. Ryan had experience, he had lots and good God what was he thinking! She was NOT going to be another on his long list of girlfriends. "I want to go home now."

    "What''s you''re hurry?"

    "I''ve got homework." Stolen story; please report.

    Ryan¡¯s eyes held hers. "You''ve got all weekend to do it."

    She cleared her throat and said as firmly as she could, "I like to get it out of the way."

    He asked, "You know what I think?"

    "I don''t want to know. I want to go home."

    "I think you are afraid to be alone with me."  Gently he touched her cheek.

    His caress set the butterflies to flapping in her stomach. Damned butterflies. Again she said,"I want to go home."

    He shrugged like it didn''t matter and stayed where he was. This made Abby scared. Grammy had told her teenage boys stored almost all their brains in the penises, and that she must watch out for herself.  She slid off the bed.

    He asked, ¡°What are you doing?"

    "I''m going home. I''ve already said that twice."

    Softly he said, "God Abby. Don''t you know I like you? You are all I have been able to think about."

    "Well think of something else. I¡¯m walking home." She headed for the hatch door.

    "Hang on. I will take you home." He got up off the bed. Abby glanced back at him. He was angry, but also hurt. Somehow him being hurt eased her fear. She really didn¡¯t want to walk, it was kinda far on foot. Ryan opened the door for her and then locked it. The wind whipping fiercely around them. The sky was getting darker. When Ryan climbed onto the four wheeler and handed her the helmet, he said, "You realize you will have to hug me all the way home."  The ride home was awkward because despite her anger her stomach was still full of annoying little wings. This attraction would not be pursued, EVER. It started to rain, huge fat drops. Abby ducked her head against Ryan''s shoulder. The rain stung her hands.  When Ryan pulled up to Abby''s front sidewalk, she was confused by her sudden reluctance to get off the back of the four wheeler.  This was so stupid. She climbed off, handed him the helmet and went toward the house without saying, good bye.

    The lights in the house were on, Grammy and Chester must be back. The rain came down harder. The wind was so fierce, it almost pulled the screen door out of Abby¡¯s hands when she opened it.  Near the front door, sheltered from the rain, Chester sat on a stool with his guitar. He asked, "Hear that?"

    All Abby could hear was the wind.  "You mean the wind?"

    "Yep.  That''s a sound I''ve been trying to capture my whole life. Don''t guess I''ll ever will though."   Chester fingers ran the length of his guitar strings.

    Since he didn¡¯t say anything else Abby figured he must be finished talking to her, so she went inside.  Grammy was in the kitchen struggling with the staples in a big box.  She had a butter knife jammed under one  staple and was pumping it up and down.

    Abby looked at the box.  It was juicer.  "What''s that for?" she asked.

    "Chester."  Grammy let out a sigh as the staple finally came loose.  She pulled the machine out of the box and smiled at it.

    Abby  asked, "Am I gonna have to drink that stuff?"

    "No. I told you it''s for Chester."

    Abby thought, Isn¡¯t everything?

    Grammy plugged the machine in and turned it on.  It made a soft whirring sound. Grammy ran her hand along the side of it like it was some fat bellied baby.  Abby shook her head and started to go upstairs.

    Grammy asked, "Did Chester have his hat and coat on?"

    "I don''t know."

    "He better. It is cold out there." Perturbed Grammy added, "That boy."

    Angrily Abby said, ¡°He is a man not a boy."

    Grammy didn¡¯t respond. She went to the porch to check on Chester. Abby rolled her eyes and went to her room. Through her window she watched the violence of the storm roll across the bay.    Her fingers went to her lips. She could still feel Ryan''s kiss.

    *

    The next morning Abby walked along the water¡¯s edge. Unusual things often washed onto the pilings after a storm.  In the past she had found a Coast Guard Life preserver, oddly shaped pieces of drift wood, varied colored bottles. and once she found a ball of tawny blown glass. Why it had not been smashed continued to be a miracle to her.  She still had it in her room. Maybe she would find something precious today.  Farther down the pilings she saw a man stand up.  It was Chester.  A ray of light broke through the overcast sky.  It struck the water  at Chester''s feet and shattered.  The effect was blinding. Abby shaded her eyes. The clouds moved, the light disappeared.

    Chester turned and saw her. Much to her dismay he started walking toward her. She did not want to talk to him, or even have to greet him. He stopped beside her and stared up at the screeching gulls.  "That was some weather we had last night."

    ¡°Yeah."

    He stuffed his hands in his jean pockets. It was cold and he was not wearing a jacket or cap. Grammy would be so pissed if she knew.  In a soft voice he said, "I had forgotten how the old house trembles and complains during a storm."

    Abby agreed, "It does make a lot of noise.  It used to scare me when I was little.  I thought the house was haunted."

    He turned and looked at her. The corners of his mouth twitched. "That''s funny.  I did too.  I made Ma sleep with me when I got really scared."

    Although Abby usually avoided eye contact with Chester, she made herself meet his eyes when she said, "Me too." Amazingly he smiled at her. Abby felt the warmth of her own smile spread across her face.

    Chester looked back up at the gulls.  "I wish I could fly. Sometimes I dream I can. Do you ever do that?"

    "No.  But it must be wonderful."

    In a wistful voice he said, "It is.  It''s the most incredible feeling to transcend the earth and all its limitations."

    "Like an angel?"

    Angrily Chester responded, "No, not like that."  His features hardened into his usual frown. Without even a glance in her direction, he stepped passed her and headed back to the house.

    Abby stared up at the seagulls and then down at her feet. Rock roaches scuttled around her boots.  She didn''t feel like looking for treasure anymore.

 Chapter 9. The Spenser Boys

    Abby lay on the porch swing reading, freaking Romeo and Juliet of all things. Her English teacher had assigned it. Though it was hard to read, David was right, the words did flow like music. Sometimes she got completely lost in their rhythm and beauty. She read a stanza that described Ryan perfectly, "...young men''s love, then lies, Not truly in their heart but in their eyes. Romeo and Juliet Act II Scene iii." Ryan would get over her. He never stuck to one girl for more than six weeks, why should she be any different?

    There was a light rap on screen door and Lila came in.  Her face was flushed and she looked excited. She asked, "Is Chester home?"

    Where else would he be? The man did not have a job. Abby said, "Yeah, he is inside."

    "Thanks." She went inside. Abby shoved her bookmark into the book and followed Lila. The house smelled like a seafood restaurant. When had Grammy learned to cook crabs?  When did she buy crabs? Chester must like crabs. All he had to do was hint and presto what ever he wanted appeared.

    Lila stopped at Chester''s door. Of course he was playing that stupid song he could not seem to find an ending for. Lila asked, "Hey, can I tear you away from your music?"

    Chester stopped playing.  "Why?"

    Nervously she asked, "Could you help me hang some painting at The Gallery."

    Chester and Lila did not need to be alone together. Abby rushed to his door and  asked, "Hey can I come too?"

    Lila laughed.  "Ryan asked me the same thing.  What is your sudden interest in art?"

    Abby ignored her question and asked another of her own, "Ryan¡¯s going?"

    "No, there isn''t room.  The car is loaded with paintings."

    ¡°So where is Chester going to sit?¡±

    Lila looked at Chester and smiled. ¡°In the front seat. Could you?¡±

    Chester didn¡¯t answer. From his bedside table, he picked up a small frame and handed it to Lila.  Abby looked over her shoulder at it.  It was a picture of a light house.  In the corner was a school picture of a little girl who looked a lot like David.

    Lila exclaimed, "Oh, Chester.  You saved this?"

    Chester nodded.

    In a whisper, Lila said, "I painted this for your sixteenth birthday." Lila reached for Chester and hugged him.  Abby saw him blush.

    Grammy came out of the kitchen and said, "Supper is ready. Lila would you like to join us?¡±

    "It smells wonderful, but I best get back." She looked at Chester. "I will pick you up in about 45 minutes."  Chester smiled and nodded. He walked Lila to the door, while Grammy returned to the kitchen.  Abby stood in the hall. She watched Chester hug Lila AGAIN. Where the heck was Hugh and did he know Chester was trying to steal his woman? Chester went into the kitchen. Abby waited for Grammy to call her to the table, only she didn''t.  She probably didn''t even remembered Abby existed she was so wrapped up in Chester.   Abby went out to the front porch and back to her reading.  Her stomach complained but she ignored it.

    After Chester left with Lila, Grammy came out to the porch. She asked,  "Why didn''t you come eat dear?"

    Sarcastically Abby replied, "Oh, so you did notice I wasn''t at the table."

    "Of course I did.  What is that supposed to mean anyway?"

    "Well it seems to me that I''ve become rather invisible since Chester arrived.  Did you ever make me  crabs?  NO.  I bet if I was born a boy, your boy not some second hand granddaughter nobody wanted any how, you would have loved me better.  Maybe even as much as him."  Abby glared at her grandmother.

    Grammy''s hand fluttered to her throat.  Tears formed in her eyes but they didn''t fall.  Abby waited for her to speak, to defend herself or at least explain herself.  In a hoarse whisper she finally said, "I do love you Abby, you must believe that."  She turned and went back inside.

    Abby shouted, "That is supposed to make it all better?" She slammed her book closed and and rested her head on her knees. Tears were coming she could feel them. She was just about to let them loose when Ryan''s voice startled her.

    "Sorry, didn''t mean to make you jump." He came through the door. " Can you believe my dad is not helping my mom hang her paintings because he is watching football?"If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    "Why didn''t she just take you?"

    "I am supposed to be doing my chemistry. She made Dad promise to make me study, but as you can see, football is more important than the whereabouts of his son or his wife."  He sat down beside her.  "I don''t like them going off like that. They could be doing anything."

    Abby didn''t respond. One tear slid unbidden down her cheek.  Ryan caught it with his finger and held it. He whispered, "Let''s go for a walk."

    Abby nodded.  She stuffed Romeo and Juliet in her sweatshirt pocket and followed him to the street.

    As they walked made their way down the street he asked, "Are you okay?"

    Abby didn''t know if she could form the words. She pushed her tongue forward in her mouth, then blurted out, "Grammy loves Chester more than me. In fact I think she has almost forgotten me."

    "You think?"

    "Yes. He is all she thinks about.  She cooks for him and goes to Houston with him and she bought him a juicer." She paused, took a breath and said, "The only reason she kept me was because I might be part of him. No body knows for sure. Chester told me he wasn''t sure I was his."

    "What an ass.  You are Chester''s. Anybody with eyes can see that."

    "I am not like Chester." Abby kicked a stone with her shoe. "I don''t like music, I can''t play the piano, I have short stubby fingers."

    "You fingers are not short and  stubby. You have his forehead. When he smiles at my mom, I see your smile."

    "You do?"

    He nodded.

    Maybe she was Chester''s, maybe she was Grammy''s, but even if she was she was still outside whatever it was that bound them so tightly together. They reached the park. The gulls were huddled in clumps. The Great Gray gulls had arrived. They showed up every year around this time. She loved the beauty of their gray wings tipped with black feathers, their orange feet and bright bills. She wished she had brought something to feed them. She wished she had brought something to feed herself. She was starving.

    At the swings, Abby stopped and sat down. Swinging made her feel like she could fly like the gulls, and she so wanted that feeling. She pushed her self back and swung forward. She began to pump her legs. Quickly she gained momentum.  Ryan took the swing beside her. For awhile they moved back and forth in silence.  Something fluttered out of Ryan''s jacket pocket. It was a folded note with a girl¡¯s handwriting on it. He stopped abruptly, picked it up and shoved it into his pocket like it was not big deal He glanced at her, curious if she had noticed the details of the note. Abby pretended like she had not seen a thing.  His ears turned a little red. The big dummy. Like she cared.

    She slowed the swing and said, ¡°I think I¡¯ll go home now.¡±

    Ryan didn¡¯t protest.

    Abby cut across the pilings instead of walking down the street. Ryan followed her. He would. Waves sloshed against the busted cement. There was something about the sound of waves that soothed Abby. Lights glistened across the bay. The sun had set. She and Ryan were so familiar with this strip of pilings that they didn''t make one misstep even in the dark. When they reached the house, Ryan said,  "See ya."

    "Yeah, see ya." Abby made her way to the porch and opened the door.  She stumbled over a hunched up David.

    He said, ¡°Ouch, watch where you are going?¡±

    "What are you doing?"

    David hissed, "Hiding.  What''s it look like?"

    "Why?"

    "I''m in trouble."

    "Again?"

    David frowned at her.

    Abby stepped around David and went inside.  The house still reeked of seafood. In a squatted position David opened the door and waddled inside.

    "What are you doing?"

    "I told you." He sniffed the air.

    Abby went into the kitchen. David followed. He did not stand up until he opened the refrigerator. Grammy''s refrigerator was his refrigerator. He surveyed the haul. "Fried shrimp, and boiled crab. Mmm." He helped himself.

    Abby tried some of the crab. It was gross. If David was not there she would have spit it out, instead she swallowed it. She did not like crabs. She reached for a banana, while David reached for a bowl and filled it. At least Grammy would think she had eaten.

    David cleaned his bowl before she finished her banana. He then went to cookie jar. He took out a whole fist full of cookies. He glanced at the kitchen clock. "Take the phone off the hook. Dad will be calling around half time. Should be soon."

    "Take it off yourself."

    "Okay." He went into the hall and removed the phone from its cradle. He came back to the kitchen, hit the talk button and shoved the phone under the window seat cushion. It barely muffled the hum of the phone.  The sound was annoying.

    Abby headed for the stairs. David followed her. "Where do you think you are going?"

    For the first time, David actually looked worried. "I told you I am in trouble. Big trouble." He paused. Abby did not invite him to follow her. He asked,"Aren''t you gonna ask me why I am in trouble?"

    "No."

    "Well then, I will tell you. For the past three weeks I have been conducting experiments on rock roaches.  It seems they don''t survive well without food or water."

    "Who would?"

    "Precisely the point.¡± David grinned at her.  ¡°I wanted to see how long it took their bodies to decompose in a moist environment so I put them in a big pickle jar. Tonight I accidentally broke the jar. Have you ever smelled a hundred and fifty dead rock roaches?"

    Abby shook her head.

    "It is an aroma I will not soon forget and neither will my dad.  I think I  would have escaped my father''s wrath if I had not cleaned them up with the shop vac.  It now smells like a hundred and fifty toasted dead rock roaches.  I did discover, however that decaying rock roach bodies make an interesting sound when  sucked through the vacuum''s  hose."

    Abby rolled her eyes.

    There was a knock at the front door.

    David jumped.  "If it''s Dad tell him I''m not here."

    "I''m not going to lie." Abby went to the door. It was Hugh.

    ¡°Is David here?¡±

    "Yes he''s here."

    Hugh shouted, "David home. Now!" Without waiting for his youngest son, he turned and stomped back across the street.

    David came to the door.  "A kiss before my execution?" He puckered up his lips.

    "I don''t think so."

    He asked, "What were you and Ryan doing while ago?"

    "We just walked to the park."

    "He didn''t try to kiss you or anything did he?"

    Abby shook her head.

    "Good. Now I can face my demise in peace knowing the lips of my Juliet have retained their virtue." He squared his shoulders and marched out the front door.

    Abby closed the door. Slowly she walked up the stairs. From Grammy''s room came the faint strains of  Saturday Opera.  Verdi''s La Traviata was playing.  Abby didn''t like that one. It was too sad.  It always made Grammy cry. She thought, What do I care if she''s crying. She doesn''t care if I do.  It was not true. Abby did care and deep down she knew Grammy cared too. Chester was a wall between them and Abby didn''t know how to change that or how to make him go away. She went to her room and closed the door.  From her pocket she pulled Romeo and Juliet.  She lay down on her bed. Somewhere along the walk, her book mark had fallen out. She flipped through the pages. The first line she read was,  "Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Act II scene ii." Could she? Would she? Chester hated his father, did she hate hers? She had never hated anyone before, was this what it felt like?

 Chapter 10. The Secret

    <div>

    <div>

    Moder is the word for mother  and Broder is the word for brother in some Old English texts.

    <div>

    Last light filtered through the greased parchment window. Seven wax candles flickered on tables around the bed. They smelled faintly of honey. On the hutch a basin of hot water pushed steam into the already humid room. Rachel Wade, the midwife, was in position at the edge of the bed. She glanced up at Lydia, who held her mother¡¯s hand and said, ¡°The baby is crowning.¡±

    Dread filled Lydia. She closed her eyes. She did not want to see another child enter the world.

    The midwife said, ¡°Tabitha push.¡±

    Lydia felt her mother¡¯s hand bite deep into her own. There was a short gasp and then her mother¡¯s hand relaxed in hers. Lydia waited.

    ¡°Almost Tabitha. The next one for sure.¡±

    Lydia¡¯s mother mumbled, "Please, Saint Margaret of Antioch.¡± At the mention of this saint¡¯s name anger shot through Lydia. She did not believe Saint Margaret had any power. Never in her thirteen years had she seen a dragon. Even if they did exist somewhere in Flanders, she doubted a dragon would swallow a woman whole and spit her out whole. She would be chewed up a bit at least and probably charred. Even if this saint had survived a dragon, Lydia knew she would not come to Moder''s aid. She had not in the past. Now would be no different. She felt it, knew it. Her mother¡¯s grip tightened again as a spasm shook her body.

    With a hint of fear in her voice, the midwife said, ¡°The baby is coming.¡±

    Lydia held her breath. Her body went rigid. She knew what came next and closed her eyes. There was a sloshing sound, like water swirling in a bucket. The stench of fresh blood filled her nostrils. The baby was in the world. She waited to hear the sound she must hear. The room was too still.

    The midwife cut the baby¡¯s cord. A sharp slap of flesh against flesh, but no cry followed. Another slap. Nothing. Again. Nothing. The midwife said, ¡°Stay with your moder.¡±

    With eyes still shut, Lydia nodded. She heard the bedroom door close.

    Her mother whispered, ¡°Are you praying?¡±

    Lydia nodded. It was a lie. She was not praying. She had nothing to say to a God who sent her mother another dead baby. God was as useless as Saint Margaret.

    Her mother pleaded, ¡°Lydia open your eyes. I need to see your eyes.¡±

    Reluctantly, Lydia opened her eyes and looked into her mother¡¯s. What she saw in them, hurt. She saw hope, foolish hope. A hope she wanted Lydia¡¯s eyes to reflect back to her.

    The door opened and the midwife entered. In her arms was a tiny blue baby. Lydia¡¯s mother looked at the child and screamed. The scream seemed to come from the depth of her. It was a horrific sound. It echoed on the walls and bounced around inside Lydia¡¯s head. All at once the screaming stopped. The next instant her mother''s hand went limp and slid out of Lydia¡¯s. Her eyes remained wide and staring but she was not, no, she was not breathing.

    The midwife thrust the dead baby into Lydia¡¯s arms. She leapt onto the bed and started pounding on her mother¡¯s chest. Through clenched teeth she said, ¡°Do not go dying on me, Tabitha. Live. I told you this would happen. I told you. Keep that broder of mine away, I said, but no, you would not listen. You would not let me close your womb. Breathe!¡± She slapped Lydia¡¯s mother across the face. When that did not work she put her mouth over hers and breathed into her. She listened to her chest. She did it again and again.

    Unable to move or take her eyes off her mother, Lydia stood clutching her dead sister. This must not, could not be happening. Though she had not prayed before she prayed now, "Please, please...have mercy."

    The midwife placed her head on Lydia''s mother''s chest one last time. She climbed off the bed and took Lydia in her arms. In that instant she transformed from Rachel the midwife, to Aunt Rachel. It was strange how she became another person when she was birthing a baby. Softly she said, "I''m sorry Love. She is gone."Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

    The door swung open, Lydia¡¯s father, Thomas Wade entered. His eyes were wild. His thick body slumped. He whispered, ¡°Is she-is she-" He could not say the word.

    Aunt Rachel let go of Lydia. She spun around and shouted, ¡°Yes she is. I told you she was not up to another birth. Neither of you listened to me.¡±

    His eyes flashed with muted fire. "Dunna be blaming this on me. She begged."

    Bitterly Aunt Rachel said, "Did she now, and you always do what she begs dunna you?"

    Lydia''s eyes darted from the face of her father to the face of her aunt. They were tough and single minded. Often, they argued. Strong willed they both were. The Wade blood was thick and stubborn. Lydia waited for her father''s response and was surprised when his expression broke in a spasm of pain. For an moment it looked as if he might cry. He thrust back his shoulders and said, ¡°I will go fetch Father Peter.¡± Abruptly he left.

    Lydia looked down at the dead baby in her arms. It was a girl. They were always girls. To the child she whispered, "It is better to die at birth, than live, if one is born female.¡±

    Instantly Aunt Rachel rebuked her, ¡°No! Without females the world would have ended long ago.¡±

    Lydia jutted out her chin. ¡°Perhaps the world would be better off that way.¡±

    "Child that is enough." Aunt Rachel took the baby from her. For a moment she stared at the lifeless little face. "Why did you not breathe? Why?"

    There was no answer to that question. Aunt Rachel took the baby to the bed and wrapped her in swaddling clothes. When she had finished she put the baby in the crib. She turned to Lydia and said, ¡°Help me clean up your moder."

    After past births Lydia had helped clean up her living mother. There had always been silent tears, dripping, dripping and soft gasps as she sobbed. Not this time. It was very different to clean the dead. There was no breath or movement, only stillness, eternal stillness. While Aunt Rachel rocked the body onto its side, Lydia pulled the blood soiled bedclothes from beneath it. "Go put those into soak Lydia."

    Grateful that she would not have to watch Aunt Rachel bathe her mother''s body, Lydia rushed into the kitchen. A large tub of water was on the table. Lydia put the bed clothes in it. The blood swirled up...her mother''s blood. Her mother''s blood was on her apron too. She ripped it off and shoved it into the water. Beside the tub was a small bowl of Aunt Rachel''s flaked soap. Lydia dumped the entire bowl into the tub and washed the blood off her hands.

    A loud knock sounded on the back door. Lydia dried her hands on her dress and went to the door. It was Father Peter. He was alone. The priest said, ¡°I have come to pray for your moder.¡±

    With more bitterness than she intended, Lydia asked, ¡°What good do prayers do the dead?¡±

    ¡°I believe they hear us still." Lydia was not so sure. Reading her expression, he added, "Your moder would want me to pray. Do you not want me to pray?"

    The question hung in the air. Lydia just stared at him. He would not like her answer.

    Breaking the silence, Father Peter said, "I will go to your moder." He left the kitchen. Lydia did not follow him. Instead she stepped into the humid night. It was dark. On feet that did not feel the street beneath them, she ran. At the city gate one of the gatekeepers called to her, ¡°Is someone chasing you miss?¡±

    ¡°Nay.¡± Her breath came in tight gasps as she made her way to the dock. The River Test was liquid black. Gulls, clustered along the pier, were all silent and sleeping. A few boats were tethered to the dock. Bobbing alone mid river was a small merchant ship.

    On the pier two men stood close together. One said, ¡°King Edward is going to sink us all if he does not get passed this foolishness. How can you support his ridiculous Arthur fanaticism? Running off to Scotland to waste men¡¯s lives and fortunes-¡±

    ¡°Please, Geoffrey, let it be.¡±

    ¡°I will not let it be, you stupid--¡± abruptly he stopped when he saw Lydia. Even in the dark she could see his teeth flash into a smile. This was no good. She wanted to be alone. She veered away from the dock and headed toward the steps that led to the shore. The men resumed their argument.

    On the shore tiny pebbles and sand crunched beneath her shoes. She sucked in huge breaths of air longing to clear her nostrils and her mind of blood''s stench. A mist crawled from the east. With slow fingers it reached out to obliterate the river. Soon it would cover the bank and engulf Lydia too. She did not care. Let it take her. With careless feet she scrambled down to the water¡¯s edge. She took off her shoes and doused her feet in the icy liquid. Perhaps she would catch her death tonight. If she died she would be with Moder and all those bothersome little sisters who refused to breathe earth¡¯s air. If of course she went to heaven, she had her doubts about her final destination. There was also the problem that she never caught cold. It was as if God had breathed all health into her and not given even a stitch of it to her dead sisters.

    Water sloshed over her feet, soaking the hem of her skirt. Within her a wave of bitterness rose and fell. How could Moder leave her? How could she have another baby when Aunt Rachel told her not to? Aunt Rachel was the best midwife in Southampton and yet Moder had ignored her advice. How could she be so stupid and so selfish? What was so great about a baby anyway? Babies cried, they smelled bad and they were totally useless. Lydia never wanted a sister or a brother. All she ever wanted was for there to be no more babies¡­no more dead babies¡­there would not be any more dead babies now¡­

    In the distance near the pier something large splashed into the water. Lydia turned to the sound of it but could see nothing.

    <div>

    <div>

 Chapter 11. The Phone Call

    The trip to the hospital was a silent one. No one cried. No one spoke. Lila didn¡¯t even turn on the radio. Abby watched the night world flash by the windows. Lights smeared by the speed of the car. They were going too fast. Since it was late, there were plenty of places to park. The night wind was so cold. It tore through Abby¡¯s coat. She felt her heart pick up its rate. Her breath started coming in little gasps. She wanted to go home. Grandy had died in this hospital¡­would Chester die here too?The front glass door slid open. Bright artificial light spilled onto the pavement. The antiseptic smell of the hospital filled Abby¡¯s nostrils. She felt sick. She was going to throw up. She didn¡¯t want to throw up.

    Grammy stopped at the desk. She was taken to Chester while Lila and Abby sat in the hard plastic chairs. Time passed very slowly. Abby did not understand how time did that when bad stuff happened, but it always did. Finally a nurse appeared and said, ¡°Mrs. Spenser, the patient would like to see you.¡±

    It was stupid but it hurt Abby that Chester didn¡¯t ask for her. Why would he? She watched Lila disappear down the same hall, that had swallowed Grammy. Had everyone forgotten she even existed? How could they just leave her by herself? In her pocket was her wallet, she pulled out some quarters and did something she had never done before. She went to the pay phone, dumped in the quarters and punched in a familiar phone number she never called. The phone rang once and then again. Abby was about to hang up, when a sleepy voice said, "Abby, are you okay?"

    In order to keep herself from crying, Abby tightened her lips and asked, "Who is my father?"

    Susan said, "Chester."

    "He told me he was too drunk to know."

    There was a bitter laugh. "No, he was not that drunk."

    "Really?"

    "Yes, Abby, I would not lie about that."

    "Why not?"

    There was a pause before Susan spoke, "I have lied about many things, but not that. Is something wrong?"

    Abby did not answer the question, she had another question, a long standing one she had never asked Susan, but had always wondered, "Why did you have me if you didn''t want me?"

    Another long pause, Susan asked, "Truth?"

    "Yes, please."

    "Okay, my periods have never been regular, and by the time I realized I might be pregnant it was too late to do anything about it. Sweetie, what is going on?"

    The sensation of utter weightlessness had lifted Abby above her surroundings. She seemed to be watching herself. She felt detached from her own being. She asked, "Where was I born?"The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    "Cedar General."

    That was where she was. She had been born here. "Thanks. Bye." She hung up. Susan''s couldn¡¯t call her back and that was good. She had nothing more to say to that woman. Unsteadily, she went to the nurses'' station and asked,"What floor is Maternity on?"

    The nurse glanced up from her chart. "The third."

    "Thanks." Since there was no one to tell where she was going anyway, she got onto the elevator and went up two floors. The bell pinged and the doors opened. A huge glass window was to her right. That was where all the newborn babies were. She went to the window and looked inside. Tiny ugly, heaps of pink or brown flesh, some sleeping, some screaming, lay swaddled in blankets with pink or blue hats. She had lain in that nursery. She had been one of those babies in the see through beds. Who had stood at the window and admired her? Not Chester, not Susan.

    Behind her, she heard the ping of the elevator doors. Her eyes remained riveted on the babies. Someday, she would have a baby and she would want that child. An arm slipped around her shoulders. She looked up into Hugh''s face. "The nurse told me you had come up here."

    All Abby could do was nod. She did not trust herself to speak.

    "Come on, Grammy needs to see you."

    Abby allowed herself to be propelled back into the elevator. Hugh had removed his arm, but he remained very close to her. All the Spenser males seemed to have incredibly small personal bubbles. When the elevator stopped, Abby walked out and looked around. Grammy was not there. Hugh went to the nurses station. Chester was getting some sort of test. Abby couldn''t hear what it was, and she didn''t ask when Hugh came back to her. He said, "Let''s sit down and wait."

    Once again, Abby found herself in a plastic chair, but this time she was not alone. Hugh didn''t try to talk to her, he just sat watching the TV mounted on the wall. Abby''s eyes were on the TV too, but she did not see it. They sat there for a long time. Finally, Hugh got up to find out what was taking so long. When he came back he said, "I best go ahead and take you home, you do have school tomorrow."

    What? She had come all this way to be THERE for Grammy and she had not been needed. "Okay."

    *

    Sleep would not come. The Spenser den was dark. It would be a relief to cry, but Abby couldn¡¯t. She hurt too much to cry.

    There was a soft thumping on the stairs. David came into the den. He was wearing Batman boxers with a Spiderman pajama top. He asked, ¡°Want to talk?¡±

    Abby shook her head.

    ¡°What about if I set with you?¡±

    "Okay." Abby pulled up her knees so he could sit at the end of the couch. His little finger rested against her foot. Even that tiny contact was a comfort to her.

    Softly David began to sing "Silent Night." He knew it was Abby''s favorite Christmas Carol. His voice still retained its purity, but it would not be much longer before it changed. She remembered how funny Ryan had sounded when his voice changed. Only for David, it would be a tragedy. Why did God give boys like David such lovely voices and then change them? Why did God do a lot of things? When David finished the last verse his hand wrapped around her foot and he squeezed it. He said, "Susan called here, I heard Dad talking to her. I heard what you found out tonight. Abby, maybe Susan and Chester didn''t want you, but still you were supposed to be here. You are a miracle. Some how, you got here and that is what matters." His voice dropped low and he let go of her foot. "I am thankful for you. I don''t know what I would do if there was not a you."

    She whispered, "Thank you David."

    "Close your eyes and I will sing you to sleep." David''s voice wrapped itself around her. "I''m gonna love you like nobody''s loved you come rain or come shine..."

    Abby closed her eyes. The tears came then, slow and silent.

    *

    When Abby woke up the next morning she was on the couch alone. She didn¡¯t remember falling asleep. Lila was in the kitchen making breakfast. When had she gotten home?

    Abby pulled on her robe and went into the kitchen. She smiled at Abby and said, ¡°Chester maybe coming home this afternoon. Your Grammy is still with him.¡±

    Of course she would be. "Okay."

    Lila was about to say something else when David came into the kitchen. He grinned at Abby. She couldn''t help herself, she grinned back. He looked out the window and recited, "The gray-eyed morn smiles on the frowns of night, Checkering the eastern clouds with streaks of light;"

    She responded, "Friar Lawrence said that in Act II scene iii."

    David''s eyes grew wide. "Very good my Juliet." He went to the refrigerator and got out the gallon jug of milk. He opened it up and started to tilt it to his lips.

    Lila said, ¡°Romeo, use a glass.¡±

 Chapter 12. Through the Eyes of an Angel

    The day had been long. The bus ride was almost over. Abby dreaded what she would have to face when she got home. Silently David sat beside her, absorbed in the music only his ears could hear. She was thankful for his presence. He had been her little knight in shining armor that morning when she stepped on the bus. It seemed everyone had heard about Chester''s wreck and as the story was told he had run into a pole at a gay bar. Abby had no idea if this was true or not. Once David left her, she had to face the trip to the high school alone, and she had heard the half whispers, felt the stares, and known she was the topic of interest. School had passed one awkward moment at a time. She came into rooms and hallways and was met by curiosity or sudden hushed conversations. One stupid kids asked, "So you old man is a Fag?" The word had stung in her ears. It was a slur, with meanness and attached to violent hatred. No matter how much she disliked Chester, she didn¡¯t want to have him referred to like that. Over the course of the day, she realized, she didn¡¯t not hate Chester, she didn¡¯t like him but she also not know him really. Would she ever have a chance to know him? Did she want to? The bus turned down her street. A black shiny rental car was in her drive. The bus stopped. She glanced at David before she stood up. He gave her an encouraging smile.

    Outside the bus, the wind was sharp coming off the bay. The white wings of a gull sliced through the clear blue of the sky. The sight of it gave her courage. She pressed her lips together and walked inside. Through Chester''s closed bedroom door, music played. His fingers stumbled across the strings of the guitar. He swore. Then silence.

    Grammy came out of the kitchen. She saw Abby and rushed into her arms. Against her neck, she whispered, "I talked to Susan. Honey, I wanted you. I wanted you so much. The instant I heard I was going to be a grandma, I knew God was giving me another chance to love, and I took it. "

    The music began to play again. It was that song, that song that Chester struggled with every day.

    Abby pulled away from Grammy and kissed her cheek. "I needed to hear that."

    "I know you did. I should have said it sooner."

    *

    Soon the sun would set. Abby wanted to watch the changing light dance over the water. The house was silent. No piano students plunked on the keys. Chester had taken his pain medication and was sleeping. Abby had yet to see him, not that she really wanted to, but she was curious about how he looked. She went into the living room, Grammy lay on the couch reading a novel. Abby told her, "I''m gonna go for a short ride."

    "Be back before dark."

    "Yes, Ma''am." She headed outside. The wind hit her full in the face. It was even colder and sharper than it had been when she got off the bus. It was going to be tough riding against the wind. She decided to walk instead. She didn''t take the road, but cut across the pilings. She was watching her feet and not the sky line. Distant voices made her suddenly look up. It was Ryan and some girl. He leaned forward and kissed her. It was not like the kiss he had given Abby. There was a hunger in it, that made Abby flush red. She turned back toward home. The heart was such a funny thing. She had not wanted Ryan''s attention, but now that she had lost it, it hurt.

    *

    When Abby got home from school Thursday afternoon, Jaspar was slowly playing his scales. Abby went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of milk. Jaspar switched to ¡°Yankee Doodle.¡± Abby hated that song almost as much at ¡°The Animal Fair.¡±

    The front door opened and closed. Abby heard the sound of flip-flops. David came into the kitchen. He went straight to her and gave her a big hug. He asked, "How is my Juliet?"Stolen story; please report.

    Unperturbed by his hug, she said, "Fine." She had ceased to take him for granted.

    David let go of her and went to the refrigerator. As he opened it, he said, ¡°Mom sent me over here to get a sweater for Chester.¡±

    "We don''t keep sweaters in the refrigerator."

    David pulled out a cup of pudding. "Nope, but you do have these, and I love these almost as much as I love you."

    Abby rolled her eyes.

    After getting a spoon, David went into Chester''s room. "Chester said he had a blue sweater in his closet. Mom says he looks good in blue. Did you know she is painting his picture?"

    "No." Why would Lila want to paint Chester''s portrait? He looked terrible.

    David came out with the sweater. He asked, ¡°Want to come see the picture?¡±

    ¡°Is Ryan there?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡± Abby followed David across the street and into the house.

    Lila was at her easel in the sunroom and Chester was leaned back on the wicker love seat. All around Lila¡¯s easel were pictures of Chester. Some were from when he was little, others were more recent¡ªlike before the accident. Abby studied the portrait. The Chester in the painting wasn''t so thin. There weren''t any dark circles under his eyes and he didn''t have that awful gash with stitches on his forehead.

    David handed Chester the sweater and he pulled it over his shirt. Lila said, ¡°That is much better.¡± Abby couldn¡¯t see how. Chester still looked awful.Lila told Chester, "Smile."

    Chester obeyed. It was a fake smile. As Lila painted the lips, Abby noticed the smile in the picture was real. It looked exactly like the smile in all Chester''s little boy pictures. Lila wasn''t painting him the way he really was, she was painting him the way she saw him in her heart. Abby pulled up a stool and watched Lila paint. It was amazing what she could do with a brush.

    There was the crunch of gravel in the drive. Abby cursed under her breath. She knew it was Ryan and she knew she did not want to see him. She stood up.

    Chester asked, "Leaving?"

    Abby nodded.

    "If you are done with me Lila, I''d like to walk my daughter home."

    Chester had never referred to Abby as ¡°my daughter.¡± A strange feeling fluttered in her stomach.

    Abby heard a car door slam. She needed to get out of there fast. Slowly Chester stood. Lila went to him and hugged him. A soft smile played on Lila¡¯s lips, then she kissed his cheek. She said, ¡°Come back tomorrow.¡±

    Chester nodded.

    Abby could hear Ryan at the front door. She pushed open the sunroom door. Chester followed her outside. A car pulled out of the drive. Abby banged the door shut at the exact instant she heard the front door close. Safe.

    As they crossed the street Chester said, "Lila''s doing a good job on that picture."

    "Yeah, she is."

    He shook his head. "I wish I looked as good as she''s making me look though."

    Abby thought, So, he had noticed it too.

    "Course, Lila''s like that. She sees the best in people." He opened their screen door and then went to the front door. He put his hand on the knob and said, ¡°She is the closest thing to an Angel I have ever known.¡± His thin hand turned the knob. Abby could see all his veins. They stepped into the warm house.

    From the kitchen Grammy called, "Chester, that you? I made some beet juice for you."

    Chester rolled his eyes at Abby. He whispered, "Yuck."

    Abby giggled. She followed him into the kitchen. Chester sat down at the table. Grammy placed a brimming glass of dark purple juice in front of him.

    "Aw, Ma do I have to?"

    Grammy nodded.

    He said, "She claims she''s determined to keep me on the planet as long as possible but personally I think she''s trying to poison me."

    "I am not. I''ll drink some if you will."

    "Ma that didn''t work when I was six years old and it''s not going to work now." He ran his finger along the edge of the glass then sniffed its contents. "God, this smells awful." He picked up the glass and took a sip. "Laced with Jack Daniel¡¯s it might be tolerable."

    Grammy frowned at his remark.

    Chester thought it was funny.

    "Just drink it."

    Chester nodded. He took another sip.

 Chapter 13. The Truth

    It had started to rain.  Grammy and Abby rushed into the church.  "Whew," Grammy said when they stepped into the foyer.  "I hope Chester stays inside this morning." Even catching a small cold, could turn fatal for Chester.

    Abby tried to give Grammy a reassuring look as they headed down the hall.  When they stepped into the concourse a strange sensation swirled around Abby. It was not as overt as it had been at school, but it was still there. Curiosity was reflected in some eyes, in others there was the fire of condemnation.    Samantha saw them wriggled her fingers at them. Her mother grasped her hand and led her away. She did not look at them or acknowledge their presence. No one came forward or said anything. This had happened at school, Abby had not expected it to happen here too. Abby looked at Grammy.  Grammy''s lips were pressed into a tight smile.  She said, "You sit with Lila this morning in church, I don''t want you sitting by yourself while I sing in the choir."

    Was Grammy trying to protect her from church people?  "Okay," she said.

    Grammy''s friend Unice came into the concourse and hugged Grammy. "Chin up," she said.  She hugged Abby too.  Unice''s movement toward them, brought others closer too. Hesitant smiles broke across some nervous faces. Abby left Grammy and made her way to her own class.  The sound of flip flops followed her. She turned. It was David. He was dressed in camouflage overalls. On his feet were twisted tube socks with his toes thrust through the flipflop straps. "Good morning Juliet."

    Abby raised her eyebrows and shook her head.

    "Okay, no Juliet crap this morning. I promise. Want me to come to class with you?"

    Truth was she did, but his presence there would probably only make things worse for her not better. "I will be okay. Go on to your class."

    He grinned at her then headed down the hall.

    Abby turned into her class. She was the first one there as usual. Mr. Peterson said, "Morning Abby."

    "Morning."

    When she took a seat he took the one beside her. His eyes were full of kind light. He was a nice man, a Christian man in the best sense of the word. He said, "I''m sorry to hear about Chester. I am praying for him and for you and your grandma.    I''d like to stop by and Chester. He was always good to me, even though I was such a dork and he was so popular. Do you think he''d mind a visit from me?"

    Though she wasn''t sure, she said, "I think he might like it.¡±

    Pleased, Mr. Peterson  said, "I''ll call him."

    *

    The week had been quieter than usual, well, than ever before. Grammy claimed she had cut back on her students, but Abby suspected there were a few, like Samantha Carter''s mother who had withdrawn their child from piano lessons because of Chester. People might talk big about their tolerance, but when it came to actual follow through, with some, it was not their. Abby headed toward the stairs. Chester called from his room, "Abby, could you come in here?"

    This was the first time he had EVER invited her into his room.  David had been in there way more than she ever had. Fear pressed in on her.  What could he possibly want? She turned toward his door and said, "Uh, sure."

    Going into the room disconcerted her. This was really Grammy''s room. Though none of her things were in it or on the walls, it was still painted sky blue and the windows still revealed the same section of the bay. Chester was seated by the window. His guitar lay across his unmade bed. A small table by the window held a few photographs Abby had never seen before. The frames were pretty beat up and a couple had cracks in their glass. There was one near the back of a lady holding a baby.  Chester saw her gaze, he picked up the photo and handed it to her.  It was a picture of her and Grammy. Chester cleared his throat and said, "I am sorry, for the way I have treated you since I got here. Hell, I''m sorry for the way I treated you your whole life. I hope you forgive me, not for me, but for you. Holding a grudge against my old man has poisoned my entire life-" His voice broke off and then he added, "I don''t want that for you."If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    Abby looked up from the photo to Chester. The vulnerability in his eyes was frightening. Abby had never had anyone look at her like he was. She couldn''t bear it, so her eyes returned to the picture.

    He continued,  "I thought you were a big mistake. I was so wrong. That God took my stupidity and somehow created you is a mystery to me." These were words Abby never expected to hear, had never dreamed she might hear. She was rendered completely silent. His eyes were upon her, she could feel them. Her heart told her that some how she must look at him, but everything from the past warned her against it. Perhaps they were just words uttered out of guilt and fear by a dying man in search of heaven. Perhaps they had no real meaning for her and her own life. Still she must know, if they were true. She struggled to lift her eyes. It was hard, but she managed to look at him. The joy in his eyes was like nothing she had ever seen.  Was it possible that he might be learning to love her after all this time? Did she dare hope, dare risk being hurt yet again? She handed the photo back to him. He put it on the table.

    An awkward silence grew between them. It was unbearable in its intensity. The instinct to run thrummed inside of Abby. She did not want to feel the crashing emotions and thoughts that were confusing and frightening her.

    Chester  picked up another photo and handed it to her.  In it he had his arm slung around a very frail looking man. "This is of  me and Kent." He did not say, but Abby instinctively knew this was the man Chester had loved. She studied the picture, Kent had such kind eyes. There was a gentleness and humility in them, that made her wonder how he had ever ended up with Chester.  Chester said,  "He died of AIDS related pneumonia in August.  He''s the one who told me I should come home."

    "Oh."  So Kent had instigated her family''s reunion. Thanks Kent.

    The light in Chester''s eyes went out. "I met him three years ago. He was the first home I ever had. I didn''t have to pretend with him. Next to Lila he was the kindest, gentlest person I have ever known. I took care of him, wish I had died with him.  I scares me to think what lies ahead for me.¡± He paused and looked directly at Abby, ¡°I do know what I am putting you and Ma through, and very I¡¯m sorry. I would take it all back if I could. I never understood until recently that my consequences deeply effect other people besides me."

    Abby had no idea what to say. Her brain felt like a the way a buzz saw sounds. The room was filled with too bright light. While there was some help in realization and admittance of the truth, it did not change that truth.

    Grammy came into the room. On her hands were latex gloves. She held a syringe with a needle. She glanced at Abby. "I didn''t realize you were in here."

    Abby backed out of the room.  She didn''t know Chester had to have shots. She hated needles. Already she could feel the prick of an imaginary one puncturing her vein. She rushed up stairs feeling sick and dizzy.   From Grammy''s room came the strains of Wagner''s Tristan und Isolde.  The music Abby into the aria.  The character Isolde sang, "Seht ihr''s Freunde?/ Seht ihr''s nicht?/ Immer lichter/ wie er leuchtet,/ stern-umstrahlet/hoch sich hebt?" Though she hated opera, in memory she heard her Grammy''s voice telling her the meaning of these words, "She is asking  her friends if they can see how bright her loved one shines." Immediately, Abby thought of the joyful shining light in Chester''s eyes, the light that shown in his baby picture above the phone, the light Lila was painting in his eyes, and the light she had seen  when he looked at her moments ago. She shoved these thought s away, turned into her room and thrust on her rifle range headphones. She would not listen to the rest of Isolde''s aria, Mild und Leise.  Chester was Grammy''s loved one, not hers.

    *

    Abby went into Grammy''s room to kiss her goodnight.  In most ways, Grammy had turned this upstairs room into a replica of the downstairs room that Chester now occupied only one thing was still missing. She had not put Grandy''s picture beside her bedside Bible.

    Grammy notice Abby''s gaze. She said, "Been wondering if you were going to ask me about that. Well your Grandy is in a box, and that is where he is going to stay until I get over being pissed at him."

    Shocked, Abby just stared. Grammy NEVER said words like pissed, she didn''t even say freaking or butt.

    Grammy flushed red, then sighed and sat down on her bed. "It seems silly to still be so angry with him, but I am. Can''t stand the sight of him. He knew how to work me, he knew how to get his way. So does Chester. Too much a like and too different at the same time." She shook her head. Abby could feel her grandmother''s thoughts drifting from the present to the past. "I should have stood up to him. I should have loved Chester enough to tell his father what I thought, but I didn''t. Maybe things would be different now if I had, but I can''t know, I can ever know. Lila says I have to forgive myself, but how can I?"

    ¡°Just like you forgive everybody else I guess.¡±

    Stunned, Grammy just stared at her. Abby gave her a quick peck on the cheek and left. She did not want to hear more.   In her room she picked up her copy of Romeo and Juliet and laid down on her bed. She opened the play to where she had left off Act V scene i and read, "If I may trust the flattering truth of sleep-" Abby slammed the play closed. Truth, it was a word that she did not want to see or hear. The house that had once been so good at keeping secrets had divulged too many lately and she had had enough.  She turned off her light.

 Chapter 14. Of Parents

    Voices boomed over the airport intercom. People rushed by in such hurry. Abby and Grammy were like the eye of a hurricane in the center of all the mad rush. The both sat so very still, watching the gate from which Susan would emerge. Chester had not come with them. In his weakened state he had to avoid crowds. Crowds carried germs and viruses. His immune system might absorb a simple cold and transform it into a fatal illness. Abby wished she had some excuse not to be here. It had been almost two years since she had last seen Susan. Susan like Chester was always short on money and visits were few and far between. Also, though Susan had invited Abby to come visit her, Grammy would not let her. She disapproved of the revolving parade of men that came and went in Susan''s life.

    A flight number was called. Grammy glanced at the board. It was Susan''s flight. She sighed, squared her shoulders while Abby unconsciously did the same. Soon people were streaming out the gate, and then Susan appeared. Her long graying hair was pulled back in a pony tail. Her face delicately lined by the cigarettes she smoked. She wore a crochet shawl and pirate boots. She looked like a gypsy, she was a gypsy, restless and ever moving. Her dark eyes caught sight of Grammy then Abby. Both stood to greet her. Susan moved toward them, her body had the easy swing of a former dancer, which she was. Abby suspected she had not always danced in nice places, but her suspicions were never confirmed by Grammy. Now days Susan got bit parts in off off broadway plays and waitressed. When Susan''s eyes met Abby''s they lit up in surprise. She rushed forward, dropped her tattered carry on and scooped Abby into her arms. This was the way she always met her mother. Abby sunk her face into her mother''s shoulder. Her head always seemed to fit in that space. The scent of stale cigarette smoke and lavender filled her nostrils. Susan said, "God, Abby you have done gone and become a woman on me." She let go of her and spun her around. "Cute figure and you got a nice ass. Not like mine, nothing worse than a flat ass."

    Abby could think of a lot of things worse than having a flat ass, but she kept them to herself and smiled like she meant it. Large hoop earring glistened in Susan''s ears. She turned her attention to Grammy and gave her a fierce hug. "Thanks for sending me the cash to get here, I will pay you back." Susan never paid anyone back.

    Grammy smiled, said she was glad to see her. Abby wasn''t sure she was, but as Abby now knew, Grammy lied a lot. It seemed a necessary skill in dealing with Chester and Susan and the chaos that came with them.

    "Let''s get the f--,"Susan stopped herself, then said, "Let''s go."

    "Of course dear." They headed out into the night. The stars were barely visible in the haze covered sky. As soon as they were fifty feet away from the building, Susan pulled a cigarette from her beat up case and deftly lit it. She took a long draw. Her hands shook as she exhaled. "I know you don''t like me smokin'' and I won''t do it in your house or around Chester, but after that flight, I need some nicotine, and bad."

    "It is okay, dear. The car is on the second level." They took the stairs because Susan didn''t like elevators. How somebody survived in New York and feared elevators was beyond Abby. Of course she had never been to New York, maybe she would go one day, when Grammy no longer could tell her what to do. As she walked along beside Susan breathing in her smoke, a memory, vague, but still present surfaced. She was by the bay, a young woman tossed stones into the water, while Abby sat hunched on the pilings watching the smoke curl from the woman''s lips. How old had she been? Suddenly she knew, Susan had come down for Grandy''s funeral, and she was staying with them. How long had she stayed? Abby couldn''t remember.

    "There''s the car." It was the new one Grammy had chosen since Chester had totaled the old one. Abby liked the blue color of the little Mazda, and it seemed Susan did too. She said, "Nice," as she slid into the front seat. Once again, Abby found herself in the back seat staring at the back of the head of one of her parents. Unlike Chester, Susan did not have a bald spot and she was not quiet. Her chatter was instantaneous from the moment she crushed her cigarette out in the ashtray. Abby tried to listen, but something was twisting inside of her. Something was coming, some moment. She felt its approach and fear took hold of her. She looked out the window as they drove. Susan talked about work, her latest boyfriend, the play she was in and the Universe. It seemed the Universe was on her side at present. The Universe sounded a little like God, but not like anything that could be befriended.

    Finally they were at the house. Susan got out slowly. She said, "It looks the same. How does this place always look the same?"

    Grammy didn''t answer. She took her keyes from her purse and headed for the front door. The lights in the living room were on. From outside Abby heard the piano. It sounded like David was playing Brahms'' Scheiden und Meiden, had he come over? When they walked into the house, it was Chester who was playing. Abby knew he could play, only he had not done so in all the time he had been there. Susan rushed toward Chester, he stopped playing. He gave her a shy smile. Susan exclaimed, "God, Chester, it has been awhile." Chester stood, he put his arms around Susan and hugged her. This was the first time Abby had ever seen her parents together. This was the first time. The something inside her that had been twisting, went completely still. These two bodies had mingled and she had come from them. Them, had formed her. The stillness inside of her was recognition of the sparse though necessary contribution these two had made to get her on the planet. She felt Grammy''s arm go around her.

    The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    Susan let go of Chester. They both turned to Abby. It was very strange to see bits of herself mirrored in these two people. She had Susan''s chin, and Chester''s forehead. Her ears were small like Susan''s and she like to wear her hair back in a pony tail too. A part of her longed to step forward and throw herself into their arms, but she remained where she was. She dare not risk her feelings, not with those two. There was no guarantee her sudden gush of family longing would be reciprocated.

    To Chester, Susan asked, "She''s turned out beautiful hasn''t she?"

    "Yup. Ma''s done a good job with her." Both smiled at her. Abby felt the warmth of their smiles, felt the tug of their parental pride. Her face flushed red with embarrassment.

    "Oh, don''t blush Sweetie," Susan said. "You are beautiful." In that moment, Abby felt beautiful.

    *

    The last supper was in progress. At least that was what Abby was calling the meal. This was her first Thanksgiving with her parents, and deep down she knew it would be the last. At the head of the table, Chester tried to plow through his food, but he did not have much appetite. Susan''s loud talk of her theatrical career was off putting and for some reason she was rather hostile toward Lila. She kept referencing Lila''s little paintings, as if Lila lacked skill or style because her work wasn''t in any New York Galleries. If David had not been beside Abby, she would be in tears. His sympathetic glances and goofy remarks kept the heaviness at the table from crushing them all. The Thanksgiving''s on TV were not like this unless they were a black comedy. And this comedy or was it a tragedy was surely dark. Her own appetite was small, so it seemed was Grammy''s. Hugh and David ate with gusto, and Mr. Nick who had come across the street for the party was delicately eating a bowl of diced turkey breast on the chair beside Ryan. Abby had managed to avoid Ryan for weeks. At the moment he was making puppy eyes at her, like she was the only girl in the universe. Right. She was determined not to spend a second alone with him.

    After the meal, the males retired to the living room to watch a ball game. For awhile Abby helped, Lila, Susan and Grammy clean the kitchen. Susan''s constant chatter got on her nerves. It seemed the woman could not shut up. It was nervousness, in part, the other was that Susan liked the sound of her own voice and found her own stories entertaining even if no one else did. Abby took the clean china plates to the dining room and put them in the china cabinet. When she stood up, she was aware of a presence very near her. Mr. Nick wound himself around her legs. A familiar hand slid down the length of her arm. A whole herd of butterflies took flight inside of her. Damn Ryan, why did he have to have this effect on her? She did not turn to him. She felt his breath on her neck and an odd thrill ran through her that she wanted to squash. How dare he? Anger began to rise in her as she forced herself to recall Ryan and that girl on the pilings. She had never found out who she was, not that she had really tried to find out.

    His hand slipped over hers and entwined with her fingers. God did he do this to every girl? Was she as stupid as Juliet, so easily swayed by an inconstant young man who thought he was in love with every face that caught his eye? If Juliet had given Romeo two weeks he would have fallen desperately in love with someone else.

    Softly Ryan said, "I sure have missed you." His body was now in full contact with hers. She could feel his chest, feel the rapid beat of his heart through her back.

    "What are y''all doing?" It was David.

    Abby turned to him. His eyes were wide and round. "Nothing. Ryan is just pestering me." She moved away from Ryan.

    David did not look convinced. "Did he kiss you?"

    Before Abby could answer Ryan said, "Yes."

    The light in David''s eyes went out. His face crumbled, in fact his entire being seemed to crumble. He did not speak. He bolted out the front door.

    Abby socked Ryan hard in the arm. "You idiot, why did you say that? You did not kiss me!"

    "Yes I did, it was time the squirt knew. Besides he needs to get over you."

    "Uh, you need to get over me. I don''t like you."

    "What, you like a twelve year old? Didn''t think you were a perve."

    Abby glared at Ryan, how dare he! He used girls to get his little and big thrills. He was only after her today because she was handy, not because he cared. Disgusted she said, "Shut up asshole." She grabbed her hoody from its hook by the door and went after David.

    Outside the wind as usual was kicking hard. It was damp, cold and the force of it hurt. Abby looked from the right to the left. She saw David scampering over the pilings headed toward the park. His flip flops were slowing his progress. Abby headed after him. She did not call out to him, for fear he would increase his speed and break his neck. When he reached the park, he looked behind him, and saw her. He broke into a full run, loosing both shoes in the process. Abby''s legs were longer than his and her vision was clearer because she was not crying like he was. Without slowing her pace, she snatched up his flip flops when she reached them. At the pier she finally caught him. She grabbed a hold of his baggy sweat shirt. "Here''s your shoes. Put them on, I don''t want you to cut your foot."

    David turned fierce eyes on her. "Go away, I hate you!"

    "No you don''t. Your brother is a liar, he did not just kiss me. He did kiss me several weeks ago, but he stole that kiss, I did not give it to him. Do I look stupid enough to get caught up in his girl games?"

    With the sleeve of his sweatshirt David wiped his eyes. He stared hard into Abby''s. "You telling me the truth?"

    "Yes. I am. David, next to Grammy I love you best."

    David''s face lit up like the Christmas tree in Times Square. Abby had not meant to say it, though it was true.

    "That is almost as good as being your boyfriend."

    Cautiously, Abby said, "No it is better. You won''t just disappear one day. We will still be friends even when we are old like your mom and my dad are." It was the first time Abby had ever referred to Chester as her dad.

    The light in David''s eyes did not even dim. "Okay, I won''t be twelve forever and I''m not a homosexual."

    "David! I love you like a brother. Okay. That is it."

    He grinned at her and slipped his cold blue feet into his flip flops. "Yup, I know, but just wait, I am gonna be gorgeous when I turn twenty-one and you are so gonna want me."

 Chapter 15. Ornaments on a Tree

    A week later, Grammy and Abby took the Christmas tree decorations out of the attic. Grammy placed one box on the couch beside Chester. He pretended not to notice. Abby knew what was inside that box. She and Grammy went out to the garage to get the fake Christmas tree. When they returned Chester had the old cardboard box on his lap. Slowly he opened it and looked inside. He whispered, "You kept all these Ma?"

    Grammy smiled at him. "Of course you made them. I put them on the tree every year.¡± Deftly she opened the Christmas tree box, and handed the sections of the tree to Abby. While they put the tree together, both of them secretly, watched Chester. He held up a ginger bread man with broken noodles glued to it. "I made this in third grade," As he picked each ornament out he studied it and then laid it down in a neat row on the couch beside him. A rare smile lit his face as admired his own handiwork, a cotton ball snow man, a salt dough star, a red and white Santa. He reached for another box on the floor near him. Abby knew what was in that box too. She couldn''t watch him open that one. She wanted to leave. She glanced at Grammy.

    "The lights are next dear."

    Abby reached for the lights and plugged them in. For the first time ever they all lit up. It was a mini miracle that she would have celebrated, if Chester had not been holding her box of ornaments. He said, "I don''t remember making these."

    "That''s because Abby did."

    "Wow," he said. "Really?" She looked up at him then. He twirled the puzzle piece wreath around. "Bet you made this in second grade."

    "Yes."

    Carefully, he pulled out a Santa with fat red crayon lines. "Kindergarten?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    He guessed the grade right for every ornament. When he had them all lined up below his own he said, "I sure did miss a lot."

    It was true. He had.

    The front door banged open and David walked in. He was wearing a ragged sweat suit, and his flip flops with a pair of his dad''s argyle socks. Abby noticed his right flip flop had fresh duct tape on it. He announced, "Guess who failed his driving test?" He was smiling so big his face was about to split in two.

    Grammy glanced at her watch. "Poor Ryan."

    "Yup, ain''t it a tragedy!" He dabbed his eyes with the hem of his sweatshirt and fluttered his lashes.

    "You be nice David."

    "I am just heart BROKEN about it. I swear Mrs. Pierce."

    "You know how I feel about swearing David. Now, put your music on the piano, your mother doesn''t pay me to listen to you bad mouth your brother."

    "If she did, she would be a VERY poor woman." David took his music to the piano and sat down. Grammy joined him.

    A sudden shyness came over Abby. She had never decorated the tree with anyone but Grammy. She knew where all the ornaments were supposed to go and how Grammy wanted them to look. Well, like everything else, this year would be different. Chester came to the tree and placed one of her ornaments and one of his ornaments on the tree, side by side. He arranged them according to grade. It was strange the similarities that each had. It was almost as if they had been made by the same child. In the past she had resented Chester''s ornaments. Hanging them had made Grammy sad. Chester said, "I didn''t know decorating the Christmas tree was a spectator sport."

    "Sorry." Abby reached for a box of ornaments. When she opened it, Chester made a strange sound in his throat. These ornaments were made of blown blue glass. They were glistening orbs of perfection.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

    Softly Chester said, "I had forgotten about those. Dad made them." For once there was not any bitterness in his voice. With reverence he hung each one. He put them in the exact places on the tree that Grammy did. In tandem with an instinctive awareness of what went where, they decorated the tree. David''s music wound around them. He was playing, "It Came Upon A Midnight Clear." She looked out the window at the dark waters. Above the first stars were just beginning to shine. When the tree was finished, they stepped back to admire it. Chester said, "We did good."

    Abby smiled and nodded.

    By the time David finished his lesson, Chester and Abby had assembled the creche on the dining room table. The baby Jesus lay in his manger with his hands outstretched like he was waiting for someone to pick him up or at least put a blanket on him. When Abby was little she used to cover him at night with a sheet of toilet paper.

    Grammy came into the dining room. "Everything looks so nice." She put one arm around Chester and the other around Abby. She was the bridge that connected them.

    David still at the piano said, "Will you play, Mr. Pierce?"

    A willing smile came to Chester''s face.

    "Yes, I think I will." He went to the box where Grammy kept her sheet music by the piano. He rifled though its contents for quite a while before he selected something. When he sat down at the piano, a stillness came to him. A stillness that Abby had never witnessed in his restless personality. His hands began to move across the keys. They were like wind over the water. The music he created swirled and dipped. It was filled with such longing. At first Abby did not even realize what he was playing. It was Opus 49 number 4 commonly known as Brahm''s "Lullaby."

    Softly David began to sing, "Guten Abend, gute Nacht/von Englein bewacht/die zeigen im Traum/dir Christkindleins baum." Abby did not know what all the words meant, but she knew this song told her that angels were watching and in dreams the Christ Child''s tree would be seen. From where she sat on the couch, she looked at their fake replication of the Christ child''s tree. Wrapped in Chester''s music and accompanied by David''s voice, it had acquired a divine beauty.

    *

    Friday afternoon, when Abby got off the bus, the water was a calm sheet of tranquil light. Leaves caught in the soft breeze, floated to the damp ground. In the driveway was Jaspar''s mother''s SUV. Abby got the mail and went inside. Jaspar was seated at the piano. His face was a study of intense concentration, his small fingers poised over the correct keys. Grammy said, "Now, begin."

    Abby braced herself for the noise that was about to ensue. Jaspar tended to be a bit heavy handed in his playing. He struck the keys with a jangling force and leapt into the simple tune like a herd of dinosaurs. Quickly, Abby left the room and went to the kitchen where Chester and Jaspar''s mother were deep in conversation. When she opened the fridge for a juice box, they both looked up at her, finally aware of her presence. Jaspar''s mother flushed pink. Did she still have crush on Chester? Looking at her Abby realized she did! Good grief, did every one become a teenager and just get stuck there? She got her box and closed the fridge.

    To cover the awkward silence that had fallen upon them, Chester said, "Hey Abby, Charla and I were just reliving some of our school days. I haven''t been up to the elementary school, but I think I might go have a look."

    Almost, almost the words came to her lips, but she pushed them back. A germ riddled elementary school was no place for a man with an Auto Immune Disease.

    Jaspar''s mother said, "Oh that would be nice. I volunteer on Mondays, you will have to stop by then, we can have lunch."

    "Sounds good. I would like that."

    In the living room the dinosaurs continued their dance. Then, the unexpected happened the tempo slowed down, the notes fell at their proper speed. The banging became a recognizable melody. Both Chester and Abby knew what this meant. Jaspar had found the magic. He would loose it again and he did, but for one brief stanza he had captured music. In time, how much only God knew, he would become a musician. Chester smiled as the dinosaurs continued their waltz.

    Jaspar''s mother asked, "Do you think he has any talent?"

    "Yes, but more important he has determination and that is what will carry him through boring lessons and long practices."

    Abby glanced at Chester, he was looking a little tired. The dinosaurs abruptly stopped. Small feet hit the floor. Jaspar exploded into the kitchen. His eyes were bright and shining. "Did you hear that Mama, did you hear my song?"

    "I sure did and it was beautiful."

    Chester added, "You are coming along nicely, Jaspar."

    "Thanks!" Jaspar climbed onto the counter and reached for the cookie jar. Abby waited for his mother to scold him for taking such big bites but she did not. He settled himself on the edge of the counter and began to chew his cookie slowly like a cow. He managed to make the cookie last an entire five minutes. When he finished he jumped down and went back to the piano. Abby took her juice and went upstairs.

    Back at the piano Jaspar began to play "Silent Night." It was a very simplified version, but still recognizable. For the first time since Jaspar had become Grammy''s student, Abby did not reach for her headphones. Even Jaspar couldn''t destroy her love for that song.

    *

    Monday Chester had lunch with Jaspar''s mother. Tuesday night, he sneezed. By Wednesday morning he had a full blown cold. It was a bad thing, a very bad thing. Grammy took Chester to his Houston doctor while Abby was at school. All day Abby worried they would not be home when she got back, but they were. Chester was in bed, knocked out by cold medicine. Grammy was in the living room reading.

    Abby said, "I knew he shouldn''t have gone to that school. I knew it and I didn''t say anything. If only I had said something."

    Softly Grammy said, "Abby, this is not your fault and it is not something you could have prevented. Chester is a grown man, he makes his own choices. We don''t know that he caught something at school, he could have caught something anywhere. At least the doctor didn''t put him in the hospital. If he thought it was necessary, he would have. That is something to hold on to."

    It was something, but not much. Chester had to be okay, he just had to.

 Chapter 16. Like Families

    As the days passed, Chester did not get worse, but he also did not get better. He had sunk into a listless place where he did not even listen to music. He seemed to be waiting for something, and Abby feared she knew what that waiting meant. It seemed like life contained two major waitings. The waiting for life to be born, and the waiting for life to cease. With it being the Christmas season, it was hard. Everything was about giving and getting and new life being born. At the mall she had wanted to punch Santa when he ho ho hoed. There was an oppressive silent command that happiness was supposed to abound and if someone couldn''t manage that, they were rendered invisible.

    Monday night bright flashing lights, startled Abby out of sleep. She sat up in her bed. She couldn''t hear any sirens. She got up and ran to Grammy''s bedroom. She wasn¡¯t in there. Through the window she saw an ambulance parked in front of their house, she turned and ran downstairs. Lila and Hugh were in the hall.

    Paramedics were in Chester''s room. She heard Grammy say, "Breathe slowly son. That''s right. Good boy." The paramedics put Chester on the stretcher. His face was covered by an oxygen mask. One of the paramedics was holding an I.V. bag. They wheeled Chester passed Abby and out the front door. Grammy ran after them and climbed into the ambulance with Chester.

    Lila called to Grammy, "I will be up at the hospital as soon as I can." Grammy waved at them and turned her attention back to Chester.

    Abby stood frozen in the doorway. She watched the paramedics close the ambulance doors. She heard Lila sob. The ambulance drove silently away with its lights flashing. In a tear choked voice Lila said, "This morning when I came to visit, he told me he was feeling better. I wanted to believe him, but I didn''t. I have been praying so hard all day. Why isn''t God listening?"

    The question was rhetorical and neither Hugh nor Abby ventured an answer.

    Hugh said, "Abby, go get your pillow. You are coming home with us." Abby nodded, ran upstairs, grabbed her pillow and ran back down. Hugh and Lila were at the front door waiting for her. They stepped into the damp night air. Abby had no idea what time it was. She heard the click of the lock as Hugh locked the door. In silence they walked across the street. When Abby stepped into the Spenser house she suddenly wanted Grammy very badly. Lila rushed to her room. Hugh went and got a sheet and some blankets for Abby. He handed them to her and went back to help Lila.

    Abby took the sheets and blankets to the den. Slowly, she made her bed on the couch. She plumped her pillow and lay down pulling the sheet all the way up to her neck. An unexpected visitor jumped on her chest. Mr. Nick''s big eyes looked deeply into hers. Panicked she looked to the stairs. Mr. Nick never went anywhere without Ryan. The last thing she needed right now was Ryan and his stupidity.

    Lila came into the room. Her hair was pulled back in a slick pony tail and she was wearing Hugh''s overcoat. With trembling fingers she caressed Abby''s cheek. "If you need anything, just get Hugh. I love you Abby."

    "I love you too Lila."

    "I am going to take good care of your Grammy, okay."

    Abby knew she would. Lila kissed her forehead and went out to the garage. Mr. Nick settled himself more comfortably on her chest and began to purr. The deep bass of his purr rumbled through her body. It was as if the cat knew she needed a friend. Upstairs, someone was moving around. She prayed it was not Ryan coming to look for his cat. Quietly, whoever it was tiptoed down the stairs. It wasn''t Ryan, it was David. He plopped down at the foot of the couch. In a low anxious voice he asked, "Do you think Chester''s going to die?"

    This was not something Abby wanted to talk about, at all. Still, she could see even in the dim light that David was upset. He and Chester had formed quite a bond over the last few months. All she could say was, "I don''t know."

    "Why do people have to die?" For David, this was not a rhetorical question, he really wanted to know. There were a whole list of scientific reasons why people died, but none of them satisfied a heart trying to prepare itself to lose someone.

    "I don''t know," was the only answer Abby had.

    From the living room the scent of evergreen drifted. The Spenser''s had a real tree, not a fake one like Grammy had. Every year they went to a special tree place and picked a tree. Though she could not see it in the den, Abby knew the tree was decorated and beautiful. Water kept it green, but soon it would turn brown and be dead. Fake trees never died, but they did wear out and eventually ended up in the dump. All things ended, all things.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.

    David asked, "Do you think if I prayed it would help?"

    This was something Abby had been wondering herself. Oh, she had been praying, but not with any expectation of some miracle. So, she wasn''t sure if that kind of prayer counted. Still she prayed, because she discovered she could not keep herself from praying. It was a deep rooted instinct. Finally she said what she knew he needed to hear, "Yes, I think it would help. Pray for Grammy and your mom too, this it hardest for them."

    "Okay, I will."

    *

    Abby sat in the front seat of Hugh''s truck. He was humming along with the radio. He liked country music. Abby didn''t. She stared out her window. All the trees were bare. Their naked limbs traced dark patterns in the morning sky. Houston''s high rises were shrouded in a gray haze. Once they got among the medical center buildings Abby felt claustrophobic. She felt worse when they entered the narrow winding covered parking lot. Hugh parked the car. He reached for Grammy''s overnight bag while Abby got Grammy''s dress. She hugged Grammy''s dress to her as they walked to the elevator. She was scared. Hugh punched the elevator button again. With a soft ping the doors opened. The upward thrust made Abby feel nauseous. She clutched Grammy''s dress tighter. She felt a lump form in her throat. Finally the doors opened. She followed Hugh as he made his way through the hospital maze.

    He stopped in front of a door. It lead to ICU. Intensive Care Unit, the place some people never came home from. She wanted to run. Hugh propelled her through the doors. With the help of a nurse they made their way to Chester''s unit. Lila was asleep on a small bench, and Grammy was napping in the recliner. All hooked up to machines with tubes up his nose, Chester lay very still. If not for the jagged line of light on his heart monitor, Abby would have been certain he was dead already. Quietly Hugh placed the bag in the cupboard and took Grammy''s dress from Abby.

    Grammy''s eyes fluttered open. She saw Abby. "Morning my girl." she yawned. There was something so normal about her gesture, that the tight coil of tension inside Abby eased a bit.

    Lila woke up and immediately flew into Hugh''s arms. Hugh took her out of the room. The commotion woke Chester, he looked around the room. His eyes rested on Abby. He said, "Hey, kiddo."

    "Hi," Abby said. She found herself beside his bed unsure of how she got there. His hand, the one with out an IV moved across the covers toward hers. Sudden panic swept through her. She did not want to touch him...but she did. She reached out her hand, Chester¡¯s hand closed over hers. It was the first time her father had ever held her hand.

    Grammy ducked out of the room. Why, Abby had no idea, but she was now all alone with her father. The pressure of his hand was odd. She had never wondered what it would be like to hold Chester''s hand, and she really wasn''t holding it, it was more like hers was pinned down beneath his.

    He said, "Abby?"

    She looked up at him.

    He seemed to be struggling to say something, but before he could, Grammy came back into the room. Her lashes were wet with tears, but her eyes were not red, and her face was not red. Hugh and Lila also returned. Gently Abby pulled her hand from beneath Chester''s. She withdrew to the door and hovered there while Lila, Hugh and Grammy talked. From time to time Chester''s gaze would stray to Abby. She would force herself to smile at him. All she really wanted was to go home, to take Grammy home and to get as far away from everything as quickly as possible.

    Finally Hugh asked, "Bout ready to go?"

    Abby nodded.

    Chester said, "Thanks for coming Abby."

    Abby forced another smile. "Sure."

    Grammy hugged her. In Abby''s arms, Grammy felt so fragile and thin. She let go of her. Hugh kissed Lila and told her to come home soon. Lila was vague in her response. Gently Hugh nudged Abby. She followed him out the door and back through the maze of hallways. When they got down to the parking lot she took a deep breath of the exhaust laden air. She wanted to rid her nostrils of the smell of antiseptic. Hugh unlocked the truck¡¯s doors and Abby climbed inside. He got in and started the truck. As they drove out of the parking lot, Abby studied Hugh. She wished that God had given her Hugh for a father instead of Chester. He hadn''t though. Why hadn''t He?

    *

    The Spenser house was still and dark. The only sound was the heater kicking on and off. Even Mr. Nick slept quietly at Abby''s feet. She was the only one awake. She couldn''t shake the feel of Chester''s hand over hers. That morning when Chester''s hand had reached for hers, she knew without him saying it, that he had come to love her. And she knew when she had given him her hand, she had responded with love for him. This love was very new, and very tenuous. If only he had come home years ago when he was healthy. She didn''t want to love someone who was dying. Problem was she did. Whatever came next was going to hurt. If he had come home sooner, now would hurt even more than it did. There would have been more memories to grieve. As it was she only had a few, she didn''t count on having many more.

    She got up and went to the kitchen. Light from the moon slashed through the kitchen window. Along the pilings gulls slept. Their bodies were sheltered by the crooks and crannies in the pilings. Their feathered bodies were fluffed up against the cold. The water moved beneath moonlight, reflecting bits of it. She felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Ryan. When had he come down stairs? Instinctively she jerked her shoulder away from him.

    He said, "Abby I am really sorry for what a jerk I''ve been. Can you forgive me?"

    She turned to face him. In the pale light of the moon, his eyes looked sincere. "Can we just be friends like we were before you got stupid?"

    "Yes."

    "Okay. Now go back to bed. I don''t want to talk to anyone right now."

    Ryan didn''t protest. He went back upstairs. Unfortunately Mr. Nick followed him.

    All alone in the kitchen, Abby turned her eyes back to the window. She noticed the gulls were huddled in clusters, like families.

 Chapter 17. Abigail

    Abby did not want to go to Ryan''s basketball game. All she wanted to do was stay HOME. Lila had insisted it would be good for her to get out. Whatever, like watching stupid boys run up and down a court would make her forget EVERYTHING. The instant she walked into the gym a wall of noise hit her like gut punch. Music blared over the loudspeakers. God why did people always have to have music? She liked SILENCE. Couldn''t people gather without trying to destroy their eardrums? Cheerleaders were dancing to the horrible music. Cathy, Ryan''s ex-girlfriend was among them and so was her friend Dewanda. The girls were really shaking their butts and boobs. A hundred years ago they would have been arrested for lewd behavior but now it was just what girls did to support the team. Ahead of her, David pushed through the crowd. To Abby¡¯s amazement, he was wearing actual shoes, black high top chucks. Had his flip flops finally died? She also noticed, his sweatshirt did not have a single stain on hit and his jeans well, they were ripped out in the knees, still this was fine attire for David.

    At the bleachers David stopped. He glanced back at Abby. Another thing she did not like, well hated were the bleachers.They were the kind that folded up against the wall. Always she imagined them snapping shut and crushing her to death. Yeah, it was going to be a fun evening. David found a seat near the top. When she sat down beside him he said, "If this thing closes we will be safe up here." He grinned at her. How did he know about her stupid phobia? Too often David defied all logic.

    Down below, she saw Ryan shooting warm up baskets. She sighed. He was cute. Too cute for his own good. Things were still weird between them but less awkward. In time, hopefully, they would be back to being friends like they had always been. She saw him glance up into the bleachers. David waved at him and he waved back. A big smile lit his face when he saw her. It was not a smile of infatuation, but love, the kind of love they had always shared. It was good to have him smile like that at her again. Abby raised her hand and waved too.

    The game started. Ryan was not first string, he was only a sophomore. Half way through the game he finally got to play. Near the doors, Abby saw Hugh. He had gotten off in time to see Ryan play. The game proceeded. Basketball made more sense than football did, at least to Abby. There was a really cute boy on the opposing team with red hair and every time he made a basket she secretly cheered for him. Finally the game was over, they had won, yay. David and Abby made their way down to the floor. When they reached Hugh he said, "Let''s get home."

    David asked, "What about Ryan?"

    "He has a ride." Hugh glanced at Abby. His eyes were bright. He had a secret and from the look in his eyes it was a good one. They made their way through the crowd and out to Hugh''s truck. The gym was a short drive to their house. Turning down their street, Abby saw Grammy''s car in the driveway. She was home! Hopefully for the whole night. As soon as Hugh stopped the truck the drive, Abby leapt out of it and ran across the street to her front door. It wasn''t locked. She stepped inside. The house was quiet. Though, the Christmas tree lights were on in the living room, there was not any Christmas music playing. She walked into the front room. Grammy sat on the piano bench. Cradled in her hands was something. She lifted one hand and her wiped her eyes with it. Slowly she turned and looked up at Abby. "Hello Sweet Heart."

    Abby went to her and hugged her. ¡°Are you staying here tonight?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Chester¡¯s doctor sent me home. Said I needed to rest. So, here I am."

    Grammy trembled when Abby let go of her. Abby asked, ¡°You okay?"

    Grammy nodded. "Just thinking that''s all."Stolen novel; please report.

    "About what?"

    Grammy showed Abby what she was holding. It was the little porcelain Mary from the Christmas cr¨¨che. In a faltering voice she said, "I just realized tonight that she knows what I''m going through."

    Was Grammy loosing it? Porcelain figurines didn¡¯t have feelings.

    Grammy got up from the piano and went into the dining room. She put Mary back beside baby Jesus on the table. For several silent moments she stared at the fat little porcelain baby then her eyes traveled to the baby picture of Chester on the hall wall. In a low voice she said, "Mary had to watch her son die too."

    Abby said, "I wish you didn''t."

    Grammy turned and looked at Abby. The twinkling lights on the tree colored the room red and then blue. She said, "I''m grateful I can."

    "Why?"

    "I love my son. I couldn''t bear finding out he had died without me there. I can''t take away his pain or this damned illness, but I can walk with him through it.¡± Softly she added, ¡°I''m thankful he has given me the opportunity to do so."

    "Opportunity?"

    "It''s something I can''t explain. Someday when you have your own children you will understand."

    Abby wasn''t sure she ever wanted to understand. She reached for Grammy''s hand. Grammy laced her fingers through Abby''s.

    "It''s late," she said. "I''d like to tuck you in tonight if you don''t mind."

    "Okay." Abby followed Grammy up the stairs.

    *

    Abby stood in the living room waiting. In a few minutes she and Grammy would be going to the Christmas Eve service at their church. She picked up the baby Jesus from the cr¨¨che and rubbed his chubby tummy and looked at the picture of Chester on the hall wall. There was a resemblance. Chester was still in the hospital. Though no one said it out loud, Abby knew he was never coming home.

    Grammy came into the room. She was wearing a navy satin dress with tiny rhinestones on it that looked like stars. Her eyes scrutinized Abby. Self consciously, Abby smoothed out her stiff green taffeta skirt. Grammy said, "Twirl." Like a little girl, she spun around, for her grandmother''s examination. Grammy smiled. "You look like a picture."

    "Thanks, so do you."

    Grammy smirked and said, "An old picture, that¡¯s for sure.¡±

    Abby shook her head. ¡°No, a beautiful picture."

    ¡°Thanks honey.¡±

    Abby put baby Jesus back in his place. God had named Jesus, but she had no idea who named her. She asked, "Who named me?"

    "What?¡±

    ¡°You heard me.¡±

    Grammy¡¯s face flushed, and she said, ¡°I heard you and I am the one who named you."

    This was not a surprise, Abby had not even dared to hope Chester or Susan had named her. "Why did you choose Abigail?"

    "I chose Abigail because it means the joy of the father." Grammy noticed Abby''s frown, but continued, "My son had just left home. I didn''t know where he was and yet I cradled part of him in my arms. I prayed one day he would come home to you."

    A knot formed in Abby¡¯s throat. She said, "So it is true. You did keep me because I was his."

    "Of course I kept you because you were Chester''s, but you aren¡¯t just a part of Chester, you are also a part of me and¡­¡± she paused, before she said, ¡°Grandy. The best part. I couldn''t give you up.¡± Her voice grew very soft, ¡°And just like I prayed and believed when I named you, you do bring joy to Chester. His eyes shine, when you walk into his room. He loves you."

    "He has never told me so."

    "Sometimes love flows like a silent stream between two people. Both are aware of its presence whether they speak of it or not. Do you believe that?¡±

    Deep down, Abby did. Chester didn¡¯t love her like she wanted to be loved or like she had hoped to be loved. Still, she had to admit, it felt like love. The kind of love Chester could give. Unable to say it out loud, Abby just nodded her head.

    Grammy gave her a quick hug, then said, ¡°Come on, we need to get a move on. You know how much I hate getting stuck on the back row.¡±

    Abby did. They grabbed their coats and rushed out into the cold night.

 Chapter 18. Gifts (Final Chapter)

    On the drive to church all the decorated houses lit the night with cheer. Some of course were overdone, it was obvious those people were just showing off. Still other houses were beautiful. Ahead the stained glass windows of the church were like huge pillars of multicolored light. The church parking lot was crowded. Grammy drove around for several minutes before she found a spot. The wind hit Abby hard in the face when she got out of the car. Tears came to her eyes. She brushed them away and followed Grammy into the church.

    Ryan was waiting for them in the foyer. "Mom saved a place for you guys. It is jam packed."

    Suddenly Jaspar rushed at them in his white angel costume. His mother was trying to keep up with him. He hurled himself into Grammy¡¯s arms and shouted, "See Mama she did come to see me sing. Just like she promised."

    His mother gave them a weary smile.

    Jaspar asked Grammy, "Was you an angel once?"

    "No but Abby was."

    Jaspar grinned at Abby, then wriggled out of Grammy¡¯s arms . He took off running toward the nursery. His mother shot out after him.

    Ryan said, "This way.¡± At the door one of the ushers extended a basket of candles with little paper skirts. The wax was cool and smooth against Abby''s fingers. Ryan led them to to the pew where Lila and Hugh were seated. Within moments, the lights dimmed. The adult choir came in followed by the Angel choir. David was the tallest angel and little Samantha was the smallest. Her long blonde hair was fluffed like a golden cloud around her face.

    The music began. David sang "What Child is This". His voice was pure and beautiful. He didn''t miss a word or stumble over a note. His face was tilted up and it seemed to be glowing. His voice gave Abby the shivers.

    After the singing, Dr. Clayton, their pastor, stood up and went to the pulpit. "Good evening friends. This is my favorite service all year. We come this night to celebrate the birth of a child, God''s holy son. I urge to celebrate the gift of children and families this night."

    Abby glanced at Grammy. Grammy¡¯s lip trembled. Abby knew she was thinking about Chester.

    In the back ground the choir began to softly sing "O Little Town of Bethlehem". Dr. Clayton picked up his candle and walked to the Advent candles burning beside the altar. The lights went completely down. He touched his candle to the flame and ignited it. Then he walked to the front pew and said, "Pass the light and the love of Christmas to the one beside you." Everyone stood up. Abby watched as the tiny flame traveled through the church. It came to Grammy. Abby held her candle out to her grandmother''s. She heard the sizzled as the flame passed from Grammy¡¯s candle to hers. Grammy¡¯s eyes reflected the tiny flame.

    *

    Christmas morning. Abby and Grammy sat in Chester¡¯s hospital room. It was her first Christmas ever with her father. She looked out the window. The sky was so blue. The sun slanted sideways across the floor. Chester stirred a little. He made a moaning sound, then his eyes opened.

    In a raspy voice he asked, ¡°Is it Christmas?¡±

    Grammy said, ¡°Yes son it is.¡±If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.

    He smiled. He turned toward Abby and said, ¡°Hey kiddo. It¡¯s good to see you.¡± His smile beamed out at her and seemed to pull her out of herself. The urge to cry or run grabbed hold of her. She couldn¡¯t speak. She couldn¡¯t move. Then she felt her lips turn into a smile. The light in Chester¡¯s eyes increased. She thought about what the preacher said last night about the light of love. Chester did love her, even if he was never able to tell her so. She could see it. Abby went to him and took his hand. Words she had not expected to say came out of her mouth, ¡°I love you.¡± Chester''s eyes grew very wide. He seemed stunned. Quickly she added, ¡°You don¡¯t have to say it back.¡±

    He squeezed her hand. His eyes were full of tears. He said, ¡°I do love you. I think I always have, I just did it so badly. I am sorry.¡±

    At first Abby wanted to say, ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± But it wasn¡¯t. Instead she said, ¡°I forgive you.¡± It was just the seed of forgiveness, it would take a while for a life time of neglect to be forgiven. Still, in Chester''s eyes she saw joy''s light leap.

    *

    Downstairs, Abby heard the crash of the piano and then the loud banging of ¡°Jingle Bells.¡± David must have arrived for Christmas dinner. Abby got out of the shower. Quickly she dressed and pulled her wet hair into a pony tail. She ran downstairs.

    Grammy frowned at her and told her to go dry her hair. Abby rolled her eyes and went back upstairs. When she came down again, Ryan, Hugh and Lila were all gathered around the piano. David and Grammy began to play from Handel¡¯s Messiah. Their hands fluttered like wings over the keys. The music soared when they reached the "Hallelujah Chorus." The power of it was overwhelming. Handel had written this oratorio when he was crippled and bankrupt. He had told his friends that while writing this chorus he had heard the angels singing. Lila had tears in her eyes. Hugh had one arm wrapped around her, and his other was wrapped around Ryan. Lila motioned for Abby to stand beside her. She hugged Abby to her. When they finished David and Grammy stood up and bowed to their audience.

    Lila said, "Bravo!"

    In one quick move, David opened the piano bench and thrust a a white baseball cap onto his head. Attached to the top of the cap was a wire. At the end of the wire was a big piece of plastic mistletoe. He swung the piece of mistletoe over Abby. "Oops," he said. "Look who''s standing under the mistletoe." Before she could stop him he kissed her on the mouth.

    She said, ¡°David,¡± like she was disgusted, only she wasn¡¯t. He was her second best loved and someday his stupid crush would pass. Until then she would just have to endure it. She snatched the cap off his head.

    After dinner they gathered in the living room to open presents. There were the usual gifts, and then Grammy brought a box into the room. She said, ¡°These are from Chester. He asked Hugh to video ya¡¯ll opening them so he can see your faces.¡± Hugh got the camera.

    The first gift was for Grammy. She opened it. It was a recording of La triviata by Guiseppe Verdi. It was the story of a woman who went astray. Abby caught the meaning of this gift and so did Grammy. The opera was about presumption, prejudice and the complications of love. To Lila, Chester gave his guitar, to Ryan his first guitar lesson book and to Hugh, he gave a card. Hugh didn''t share what was in it. Grammy handed David his gift. It was sheet music. David held up a page and squinted at it. "This is the song he has been working on. He wants me to finish it." He asked Grammy "Do you think I can?"

    ¡°Yes, and so does Chester. You have a gift.¡±

    Last of all Grammy handed a flat present to Abby. Puzzled Abby took it. She knew what it was, it was the picture Lila had been painting of Chester. She asked Grammy, ¡°Isn¡¯t this for you?¡±

    Grammy shook her head. "It''s got your name on it.¡±

    Confused Abby looked at Lila. Lila nodded and said, "Yes, it''s for you."

    Abby had seen the picture a dozen times. What was going on? She began to tear the tissue paper off the package. Chester''s face became visible through the thin paper. She ripped through the final sheet and was amazed to be looking into her own eyes. "What?" She stared at the portrait. Chester sat in middle, on his left was Grammy and on his right was Abby. They were all three smiling. It was a family portrait. Her family''s portrait.

    There was a note tucked inside of it. Abby pulled it out and silently read,

    Dear Abby,

    This is the way it should have always been, but wasn¡¯t. I pray, when I am gone, you will remember me. Please tell your children about me some day. I hope one of them loves music.

    Merry Christmas, Chester

    *

    A young man stood on the stage playing an old guitar. Much to Abby''s surprise Grammy was beside her. NEVER in all her born days did she think her Grammy would cross the threshold of a club which served alcoholic beverages for profit, but she was here, now because it was a special night. Abby glanced across the table at Hugh and Lila. Beside them were Ryan and his wife, Karen. They were enjoying a rare night out, without their twin girls. Abby shifted her pregnant body in the booth seat. She had to pee so bad.

    The young man on the stage finished his song. He leaned closer to the mic and said, "Once a man wrote a song, he called Lone Gull Crying, he asked me to finish it for him. It took a long time. One day as I was watching the gulls it occurred to me that gulls don''t cry just for sadness they also cry for joy. This song is dedicated to my wife."

    David''s long fingers began to play the melody that still haunted Abby in her dreams. It took her back to those long ago days when hate had turned to love. The music brought Chester close. Inside, she felt the baby kick.