《The Villainess Wants Her Prince to Live!》
Chapter 1: The Villainess Wants to Live!
Lady Regina Sheridan stared blankly at the very pretty and very shiny blond man frolicking in front of her.
He was wearing seven brooches today. She knew that he was wearing seven brooches because she had counted them, even as she wondered how he managed to keep the one attached to his belt from falling off.
"My dearest heart," he cried, bouncing in excitement. "Are you not excited to see the surprise that I prepared?"
With a movement born of long practice, Regina stepped forward and casually pulled him out of the way of the large falling rock, noting the shadowy figure disappearing on the roof line above them, as the blond man continued to gaze tenderly at her.
It would have been too much, she realized grimly, for her prince to realize that a large rock had landed behind him when he was more interested in her answer to his question.
"Yes, my sweet dove," she finally replied with infinite weariness. "I am... excited to see your performance."
In truth, Regina was not excited to see his performance.
Regina was also not excited to foil the next three murder attempts that would inevitably happen when her sweet dove sang three folk songs while doing a strange dance from his mother''s homeland.
Regina''s only excitement in life came from trying to keep this goldfish of a fianc¨¦, and thus herself, alive.
Yet as Regina watched her prince dance his self-described ¡°mating ritual" in front of her, Regina wondered if maybe she would have been better off being executed as a villainess.
~???~
Six Months Earlier
Lady Regina Sheridan had no idea why she was standing in the middle of a ballroom in her nightgown.
It was particularly strange because Regina generally did not attend ballrooms or wander about them while under-dressed. In fact, she had never even left her family¡¯s manor, even to visit the small collection of towns and villages that made up her family¡¯s lands.
In fact, Regina¡¯s only regular activities consisted of discussing survival strategies with her closest cousin, avoiding the sinister machinations of her parents, and trying to mimic wallpaper well enough to leave her childhood home before her family murdered her.
Yet when Regina cautiously pushed through the crowd at the ball, none of whom seemed interested in the half-naked woman in their midst, to see another version of herself¡
The first thought that came to Regina was, By the blood, why would my parents spend the money to purchase a gown like that?!
After all, while Regina did not go about dressed in rags, she did not own any fancy gowns either. There were remarkably few occasions to dress up when you were spending most of your life trying to avoid being noticed and then murdered by your family.
Besides, her parents hoarded money as though spending a dime on anything but the bare necessities would cause them to die in distress. So why would they suddenly buy her a gown with enough lace to make hundreds of silkworms weep?
Beyond that, Regina could not understand why some version of herself might be somewhere other than the Sheridan family¡¯s estate. After all, no Sheridan under the age of 25 ever left the estate unless they were about to have a mysterious ¡°accident¡± or ¨C
¡°I would like to welcome our guests to this celebration of the uniting of two great families,¡± said a startlingly familiar man who suddenly appeared behind not-Regina¡¯s shoulder.
¨C Were about to get engaged.
A chill ran down Regina¡¯s spine as she realized that she had never before seen her surly miser of a father look so happy.
¡°No Sheridan under the age of 25 leaves the Sheridan estate unless they are about to be murdered¡ or married off to another noble family,¡± Regina murmured, suddenly realizing what was happening.
It was only after Regina spoke that she suddenly remembered that her father was right in front of her. Regina felt the all too familiar panic starting in the back of her throat as she realized that she had both just revealed one of her family¡¯s most terrible secrets and that she had revealed the secret while standing nearly naked in a ballroom.
Regina was not sure which act would get her murdered faster. Either way, she had just destroyed a dozen years of trying to be the human equivalent of a very forgettable beige so that her family would forget to murder her for not being useful.
Yet, to her surprise, none of the people around her reacted to her in any way.
¡°I almost feel insulted,¡± Regina muttered under her breath. ¡°I know I am hardly the most beautiful woman in Carcosa but I am muttering ominous secrets while wandering around a ballroom in my nightgown. Does nobody care about any of that?¡±
Regina was so busy being both confused and irritated that she only realized the truth when the very pretty and very shiny jewelry-encrusted blond man behind her put his elbow through her torso.
¡°By the blood!¡± Regina cried in a mixture of anger and disbelief as she saw his elbow move through her body without encountering any resistance. ¡°After all those years of outlasting thirteen cousins and a sister, did someone in my family finally notice I existed¡ only to murder me?¡±
The blond man bounced up and down in an odd little dance and Regina decided that was as much of an answer as she was going to receive.
However, even if she was dead, Regina was determined to find out who this false Regina was¡ and why her family was engaging the not-Regina to someone very high-ranking, based on the lace of her dress and the width of her father¡¯s smile.
Regina¡¯s eyes narrowed and she ducked behind the dancing blond, who was an excellent distraction for anyone who might be able to notice dead women in inappropriate nightdresses. It also allowed her to concentrate on the words of the nobles clustered around her.
Unfortunately, she soon realized she would have been better not paying the other nobles any attention at all.
She could hear the polished but cutting voices of the group of elegant noblemen around the dancing blond as they dissected not-Regina in every aspect.
¡°Pedestrian looking, is she not?¡± said an exceedingly gorgeous older nobleman with rose red hair and brilliant emerald eyes, though the haughty look on his face made Regina loathe him already. ¡°No doubt she is the comeliest daughter the Sheridans could come up with but even so¡¡±
¡°You may be underrating her charms,¡± said a handsome younger man who had a delicate pink flower with a ruffled center on his lapel and the oddest hair that Regina had ever seen ¨C dark brown waves on top and a smattering of grass-green hair beneath. ¡°Who knows? Perhaps the lady in question is kind and keen.¡±
¡°If so,¡± said a dignified older nobleman who wore a blue suit patterned after ocean waves to match his curly blue hair, ¡°she is wasted on that family. She should have joined ours instead. Those brawny arms would help us a great deal.¡±
¡°No doubt,¡± said another middle-aged nobleman with an elegant leaf-shaped brooch and hair so black, it nearly burned purple in the candle-light. ¡°I am sure this young lady would have excelled in helping you distribute frozen fish to the masses.¡±
¡°Exactly!¡± Lord Ocean Waves said, apparently immune to sarcasm when it came to his specialty.
¡°She must have strong powers,¡± muttered a strikingly beautiful nobleman standing a little ways away, his blindingly white suit matching the white hair rippling past his shoulders as he stared at Regina¡¯s other self. ¡°Maybe she could even win a dance battle against a feet fish.¡±
The other lords stared at Lord Feet Fish before they apparently decided to ignore his strange murmurings.
¡°She probably is powerful as well as elegant and astute,¡± Lord Grass Hair speculated. ¡°Why else would she be chosen to ascend to such great heights?¡±
¡°Why indeed,¡± muttered Lord Leaf Brooch. ¡°Though I would imagine that the Sheridan family¡¯s purse greatly helped her engagement prospects.¡±
¡°Even so,¡± Lord Ocean Waves murmured, ¡°It is strange that I have never heard of Lady Regina Sheridan. In fact, I do not believe anybody had heard of her before her engagement was announced.¡±
¡°Perhaps,¡± Lord Red Hair, ¡°The Alpins would prefer their brides be a little less¡ distinguished than women who come from families with a better pedigree¡ and greater beauty.¡±
Even Regina, who was hardly bursting with pride when it came to her noble line, felt a little affronted at the clear condescension in his tone.
¡°Listen here,¡± she told Lord Red Hair now that she was sure nobody in this room could hear her. ¡°My family may be murderous and miserly but that does not mean you should look down on us for our pedigree or lack of beauty. After all ¨C¡±
At this point, Regina even dared to boldly poke her finger in Lord Red Hair¡¯s direction, feeling a queer sense of liberation. Who knew being dead was so freeing?
¡°There are so many other things that are wrong with my family! Our pedigree and looks are the last things you should be criticizing!¡±
Regina expected that to be the end of it and was genuinely surprised when one of the nobles actually defended her¡ so long as she ignored the less flattering implications of his argument.
¡°Let us be fair,¡± Lord Grass Hair said. ¡°None of us may know Lady Regina well, or at all, but the Sheridans are not nobodies. They have had quite a fascinating rise from mere barons with unknowable powers to actual marquesses. Who knows what their future will bring?¡±
Lord Leaf Brooch took a sip from his flute of champagne, eyes gleaming with speculation.
¡°Who indeed?¡±
Regina decided that since she was dead, she did not need to listen to people insulting her and the politics of petty, boring nobles.
Ignoring the cluster of nobles continuing their veiled insults and speculations behind their smiles, she watched as not-Regina continued to move forward to the center of the ball room¡ only to sink into a deep bow that left real-Regina¡¯s knees shaking in sympathy.
Behind her, Regina¡¯s father followed, looking more prideful now than when he cut off the figurative, and possibly literal, legs off his rivals.
¡°Lords and ladies,¡± her father said, ¡°I bid you welcome to my daughter¡¯s engagement ceremony.¡±
Even as the real Regina started so violently that her elbow should have collided into the shiny blond man in front of her, not-Regina and Regina¡¯s father were joined by a stunningly handsome blond man who had obviously been waiting for the announcement of the engagement ceremony.
Even in this strange evening full of bizarre events, Regina found it hard to grasp that any version of her could be engaged to a man like this. Regina was not a woman prone to self-doubt. She had managed to make it to one-and-twenty without dying and that was something that made her one of the most remarkable women in Carcosa considering her family. However, this man was as far beyond someone like her as an eagle was beyond a sparrow.
For one, this man was so handsome he looked like a prince from a storybook, so elegant that he almost seemed to glide rather than walk, and so intimidating Regina found it hard to look into his icy blue eyes. Regina was impressed that her other self was able to overcome that terrifying gaze by looking down demurely.
Still, this terrifyingly beautiful man managed a tight smile for her other self and then looked around the room, his even voice somehow reaching every part of it.
¡°Friends,¡± he said, ¡°we greet those who have come to bear witness to this engagement ¨C¡±
But before the man ¨C her other self¡¯s fianc¨¦ ¨C could finish his sentence, there was a loud bang as the doors of the ballroom were flung open and the ballroom floor was suddenly flooded with guards who seemed to easily outnumber the lords and ladies.
¡°What is happening?¡± Regina¡¯s father cried, even as both Reginas spun around wildly, staring at the sudden influx of guards stamped with intimidating blue-and-gold-livery. ¡°How dare you disrupt a royal engagement party?!¡±
¡°Do you dare,¡± said a grizzled looking older guard with an especially intimidating row of medals on his uniform, ¡°stand between the imperial guards and a daughter accused of betraying the crown prince and Carcosa itself in her role as its future queen?¡±
¡°What?!¡± both Reginas cried at the same time, before not-Regina collected herself enough to speak with a calm that would have made nightgown-wearing Regina proud if nightgown-wearing Regina was not both terrified and confused.
¡°Good sir,¡± not-Regina said, a waver in her voice but steel in her eyes, ¡°I do not know what you are accusing me of but I - I have never betrayed anyone in my life!¡±
The guard did not look at all moved by her pleas ¨C and unfortunately, neither did Regina¡¯s fianc¨¦ ¨C who was apparently Carcosa¡¯s Crown Prince and future King.
¡°Please believe me!¡± not-Regina pleaded again, this time with her fianc¨¦. ¡°Your Highness, I ¨C I just arrived at the Capital City but a month ago! I know nobody but my family and have no ambitions but to ¨C to ¨C¡±
¡°To stay alive,¡± the real Regina muttered, horror overtaking her. ¡°Only I do not seem to be succeeding.¡±
¡°Cease your falsehoods,¡± the grizzled head guard raged, even as not-Regina was suddenly entirely surrounded by other members of the imperial guard. ¡°Lady Regina Sheridan, you are a villainess whose conduct is unworthy of a future crown princess. The royal family has uncovered evidence that you have trampled on those you are responsible for ¨C¡±
¡°What are you speaking of?¡± not-Regina cried, even as she shrank back from the guards surrounding her. ¡°Who am I supposedly trampling?!¡±
¡°You,¡± the head guard said while the handsome blonde man, who had to not only be a member of the Alpin royal family but the crown prince, looked mildly appalled at the proceedings, ¡°are convicted of the basest cruelty to commoners.¡±
¡°Commoners?!¡± a familiar voice cried, before Regina¡¯s mother suddenly appeared next to Regina, looking as wild-eyed as Regina herself felt. ¡°Since when did the royal family give a damn about commoners? You would bathe in their blood if you thought it would increase productivity or provide an advantage over the other noble families!¡±
While that was not the most tactful thing for her mother to say, the nightgown-wearing Regina had to agree, as did the bouncing blond man in front of her. Regina had been so absorbed in the horror of the stern blond crown prince she had nearly forgotten this very shiny, very bouncy other blond.
¡°By the blood,¡± he muttered, now moving his hips in what Regina assumed was a circle of sympathy. ¡°Poor Lady Regina is in more trouble than ever. Does her mother not realize that there is no better way to get your head chopped off than to say truths nobody wants to hear?¡±
Unfortunately, the shiny blond appeared correct as the look on the Crown Prince¡¯s face shifted from mild concern to an actual glare.
¡°Captain,¡± the Crown Prince said, ¡°What exactly did Lady Regina do to those poor commoners?¡±
Regina realized she could not remember the last time she even interacted with a commoner. The Sheridan estate kept a few commoner servants but Regina was paranoid to the point of being practically self-sufficient when it came to her food and drink. As she tried to determine when and how Not-Regina could have possibly even encountered commoners, she was interrupted by a stern voice.
¡°Lady Regina Sheridan,¡± the apparent captain of the guard said, ¡°has abused the maids given to her by His Highness in the most abominable of ways.¡±
¡°What do you mean?¡± the not-Regina cried, sounding as baffled as the real Regina felt. ¡°I have never abused a maid! The most I ever did was tell them that I wanted to make my own tea so that I could ensure it was not being poisoned in the making!¡±
¡°Ah,¡± the Captain said, looking grim. ¡°That explains it. You must have been upset that they disobeyed you by attempting to care for you¡¡±
Even by Regina¡¯s understanding of the strangeness of Carcosan law, that seemed an odd accusation of treachery-
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¡°...and thus, killed them before fashioning their corpses into a throne,¡± the Captain finished, oddly triumphantly.
Well, thought Regina, that was at least a little more understandable cause for concern, if only because it seemed terribly unsanitary.
Even past her newfound ring of guards, nightgown-wearing Regina could see that her finely dressed counterpart looked utterly horrified.
¡°Why would I murder them?¡± not-Regina asked. ¡°In fact, how would I even murder them, seeing as how I have no magic or training in weapons?"
¡°Is that actually true?¡± the Captain said, looking almost intrigued. ¡°It would be an easy enough claim to prove¡ if you were willing to share the Sheridan abilities with us. It seems very suspicious that nobody outside of the Sheridan family knows the magical powers of the Sheridans.¡±
¡°Whatever they are,¡± not-Regina snapped, ¡°they certainly do not lend themselves to outright murder! Though even if they did ¨C¡±
It was an interesting statement for not-Regina to make, real-Regina realized. It was entirely possible that the Sheridans¡¯ magical powers allowed them to murder people. Regina had no idea and if not-Regina was being married out of the family¡ she had no idea either.
Of course not-Regina had more pressing concerns such as¡
¡°Why would I make my maids¡¯ dead bodies into a throne?! ¡±
¡°Very true,¡± the shiny blond man in front of nightgown-wearing Regina said. ¡°That seems very unsanitary.¡±
Regina was relieved that at least one person in this room shared her thoughts on personal hygiene¡ even if it was depressing that it was only a shiny, bouncing blond man who reminded her very much of a bobbing dandelion.
Unfortunately, Regina did not have the presence of mind to linger on that heartwarming connection with a stranger because, without another word, her finely dressed counterpart began to be hauled away by the guards at last, even as her parents silently watched.
¡°Mother!¡± not-Regina cried. ¡°Father! Please tell His Highness that the ¨C the guards are making a mistake! Please!¡±
Then Regina¡¯s vision of her other self and family were drowned out by her own blurring words as she closed her eyes, unable to look any further.
Then she closed her eyes and turned around, only to see the shiny blond man next to her shake his head, suddenly no longer dancing and looking oddly¡ sad?
The nobles that had been speculating about Regina¡¯s other self were behind him, looking far less devastated by her fate. The fact that not a single one of them seemed to think that fate came about from not-Regina building furniture out of body parts was a very sore comfort.
¡°By the blood,¡± Lord Ocean Waves said, ¡°was that little upstart stealing the royal family¡¯s secrets to pass them onto her own family? I would not do so even if it helped us Poissons catch the best fish in the ocean. What a way to court disaster!¡±
¡°Especially if you got caught,¡± Lord Feet Fish said, ¡°which is likely if you do not have a feet fish to teleport you around.¡±
Once again, the other nobles stared at Lord Feet Fish for a moment before electing to ignore him.
¡°I suppose,¡± Lord Red Hair said with an unpleasant smirk, ¡°the Alpins now know that there is a reason they should stick to prettier brides with finer breeding.¡±
Lord Leaf Brooch just snorted. ¡°The Alpins fear powerful noble families too much to breed with any who can rival them. If they cannot pluck a flower from about their feet, they will simply go back to breeding from their own family circles ¨C which will eventually lead them to disaster.¡±
¡°That may be why they chose poor Lady Regina in the first place,¡± Lord Grass Hair said, shaking his head.
¡°Do not tell me you pity her,¡± Lord Red Hair said, looking startled. ¡°If she was fool enough to displease the Alpins of all families, she fully deserves her fate!¡±
¡°Does she?¡± Lord Grass Hair asked. ¡°Though she clearly crossed the Alpins to give some sort of advantage to her family, she is so young¡ and with such a crime on her head, she will be lucky to ever see sunlight again.¡±
Lord Ocean Waves looked confused. ¡°So you think the Alpins will let her keep her head and not execute her immediately?¡±
¡°Probably,¡± Lord Feet Fish said, with far more chill in his voice than before. ¡°The Alpins enjoy making examples of their enemies¡ and death can be less of a deterrent than an ill-treated living reminder.¡±
For once, Lord Feet Fish¡¯s words seemed to lead less to confusion and annoyance than fear. Looking around, Regina could register the uneasiness on each of the lords¡¯ faces before one of them changed the subject.
¡°Lady Regina will hopefully live,¡± Lord Grass Hair said, ¡°and given her youth, may even receive a relatively lenient charge. She is someone else¡¯s puppet so what need is there to harshly punish her?¡±
¡°What of her family?¡± Lord Ocean Waves said, looking nervous. ¡°Will the Alpins not make an example of them, since she must be their pawn?¡±
¡°I suspect,¡± Lord Leaf Brooch said, ¡°we will soon discover that answer.¡±
Eyes wide, Regina spun around, hoping beyond hope that maybe her parents were prepared to defend her or support her or¡ or¡ do something that could help her -
Yet if either Regina was hoping for a sign of familial affection, she was doomed to be disappointed.
Tears burning in her eyes, the real Regina watched as her father and mother stood by and watched their last surviving child be taken away by the assembly of guards.
¡°Some people,¡± Lord Feet Fish said, suddenly looking older than his youthful and handsome face would indicate, ¡°do not deserve their children.¡±
¡°If children were given only to the deserving,¡± Lord Leaf Brooch said, ¡°would any of us even be here?¡±
The Regina Sheridan who was still in the room with them simply stared blankly over the shoulder of her blond dandelion shield, into the space where her other self had once been.
¡°She deserved better,¡± the shiny blond man still in front of her said. ¡°I wonder whether she would have enjoyed frolicking? I hope she gets the chance to find out.¡±
On that cheerful note, darkness fell.
For a brief moment, Regina had hope that she would wake from this terrible, realistic nightmare.
Regina realized very, very quickly that life liked to make sure she knew she was being tormented. Therefore, when Regina saw the light again, she did not see the canopy of her bed or feel her sheets twisting around her form.
Instead, she found herself in a large, smoky room filled with all the trappings of luxury ¨C crystal chandeliers, decadent glasses full of amber scotch, and a scattering of magical artifacts that Regina could not even begin to identify.
More importantly, the room also contained a man that Regina recognized when she moved towards him.
¡A man that she had seen in the ballroom that she had just escaped after witnessing Not-Regina¡¯s arrest.
However, the very pretty and very shiny blond man she had seen just a few moments ago no longer seemed to be in a dancing mood. Instead, he had a grave, even melancholy look on his beautiful face as he slumped into an upholstered chair, staring at the newspaper in front of him.
After realizing he was going to say nothing, Regina circled around him to read the headline upside down, a skill she had mastered to anticipate her mother¡¯s moods every time her mother gambled far too much on a horse-race¡
¡and saw a headline that nearly stopped her somehow-still-beating heart.
¡°Lady Regina Sheridan Killed in a Carriage Accident After Being Accused of Treacherous Mistreatment of Productive Citizens!¡±
Head spinning, Regina staggered back and almost fell through the newspaper before she began looking around her for something that would make this¡ this insane news make sense.
Then, as if they had previously been hidden, Regina heard the voices of all the other noblemen from the ballroom discussing her recent death.
With slow dread, she turned around to see them all seated around a table, glasses of liquor in hand as they calmly discussed her death.
¡°I cannot say I saw that coming,¡± said Lord Grass Hair, looking almost as sad as the pretty blond man. ¡°Who could predict that poor Lady Regina would meet such a pitiful end?¡±
¡°Then you do not have enough of an imagination,¡± snapped Lord Red Hair. ¡°I knew the Alpins would kill her off after they discovered her betrayal and publicly made an example of her!¡±
¡°Was it the Alpins though,¡± speculated Lord Ocean Waves, ¡°or Lady Regina¡¯s own parents? After all, what use does a noble Carcosan family have for its failures? No more use than a fisherman has for a net with holes.¡±
¡°Do you truly have to relate literally everything to fishing?¡± Lord Red Haid said, sounding aggrieved.
¡°Yes,¡± Lord Ocean Waves stated, sounding baffled that it was even a question.
Lord Red Hair just sighed before Lord Leaf Brooch spoke, breaking his previous silence.
¡°The Sheridans are a¡ mysterious family,¡± Lord Leaf Brooch said, ¡°but surely even they would not destroy their own kin. To be so callous where your own child is involved is¡ is monstrous beyond telling.¡±
¡°You are giving my family too much credit,¡± Regina sourly replied, though she knew he would not hear her. ¡°Did my parents look as though they were about to intervene on my behalf when you saw those guards come for not-me?¡±
Even so, Regina felt a little better when Lord Grass Hair supported Lord Leaf Brooch by saying, ¡°Yes, as Duke Neville said, we must not leap to hasty conclusions. Perhaps this is all just a tragic carriage accident¡?¡±
For the first time, Lord Feet Fish spoke and said, ¡°How many tragic accidents do you think young ladies get into after they have just been arrested for being a villainess that humiliated Alpin royalty?¡±
Lord Grass Hair sighed before asking, ¡°We cannot have at least one, Duke Kuzey?¡±
Lord Feet Fish ¨C no, Duke Kuzey ¨C sighed as well and said, ¡°The only ¡®accidents¡¯ that arise after someone crosses the Alpin royal family are those that benefit the Alpins. So how ¡®accidental¡¯ could Lady Regina¡¯s final carriage ride be?¡±
Lord Ocean Waves had an oddly shrewd look in his eye when he spoke. ¡°That would all make sense¡ if the Alpins had not already made an example of Lady Regina. Why would they risk further infuriating the Sheridans after they had already won? If you catch a shark in a crab pot, either it is not really a shark¡ or you are not really using a crab pot.¡±
Regina had never previously wondered if it was possible to hear a fish metaphor so bad that it made her want to give up eating seafood, but she was discovering all sorts of new and exciting information in this endless dream.
¡°I know you said something about fish that I am going to ignore,¡± Lord Red Hair said, sounding almost excited, ¡°but this still means that someone must have killed Lady Regina¡ someone who wanted her secrets to die with her. The only question is¡ who would be willing to take that risk?¡±
Unable to bear the looks of speculation, which ranged from merely curious to cold and calculating, Regina spun around¡
¡only to find herself staring at the pretty, shiny dandelion man¡¯s face as he abruptly rose from his seat, shaking his head as though he were saying a prayer.
¡°Poor Lady Regina,¡± he whispered, his voice so soft she had to strain to catch his words. ¡°One day you are a plucked blossom offered to the royal family and the next¡¡±
Regina found herself staring at the only existing portrait of herself obviously reprinted in the upside-down newspaper, her false face smiling with a carefree innocence she had never had in life¡ or death.
¡°May she suffer less in her next life,¡± he murmured.
As Regina tried to process the strange pain in his voice, the world dissolved into darkness and the after-image of a blond man clutching a faded flower in his hand.
~???~
Lady Regina Sheridan, still alive potential-villainess, sat bolt upright in her bed.
"What," she said, staring hard at the sheets she had twisted in her hand, "in the name of the blood was that?"
She had to take several deep breaths before she could calm her racing heart and make sense out of what she had just experienced.
¡°What just happened to me?¡± Regina said, still numb with shock. ¡°How did I have such a ridiculous dream? Unless¡¡±
Her eyes widened as she tried to recall the previous night.
¡°Did someone try to slip something into my food?!¡±
She frowned as she continued musing.
¡°No, that cannot be right¡ After I saw what happened to poor cousin Ronald last year, I only eat after everyone else has taken a bite and nobody at the table has started foaming at the mouth. So the elders could not have poisoned me without poisoning my parents and eight other cousins. Even for the elders, that would be unseemly.¡±
She buried her face in her trembling hands, trying to calm herself once more.
¡°So that strange¡ vision was probably not the result of poison. Therefore, the only logical conclusion is¡¡±
Slowly, Regina¡¯s hands slipped from her face as she straightened her back and then began readying herself for the day ahead.
¡°That I need to stop eating cheese before bed and not worry about that ridiculous dream. Did Henrietta not warn me about the effects of indigestion on nightmares? I have enough problems in my waking life without borrowing problems from my imagination. I need to do with this dream what I do with every other horror in my life.¡±
Nodding, Regina made her way out of bed before looking at her pale but resolute face in a nearby vanity mirror.
¡°I need to push anything that terrifies me into the depths of my mind and act as though nothing could possibly go wrong in my life while making sure nobody has cause to murder me.¡±
Thus fortified with her normal mixture of steely determination and paranoid fear, Regina prepared to spend her day being one with the Sheridan manor¡¯s wallpaper.
It took some skill for the only Sheridan of her age left alive to be overlooked, unseen, and too far beneath any powerful person¡¯s notice to be worth harming¡ but Regina had spent years communing with wallpaper, porridge, and the color beige. She knew how to take bland to new heights of mundanity!
Her camouflage skills had kept her alive for the last one-and-twenty years of life and she fervently hoped it would keep her intact a few years longer.
After all, Regina just needed to survive until the age of twenty five when her family elders finally would be forced to agree she had inherited none of the Sheridan magic and should be wed off to another noble family.
The only other alternative lay in her manifesting her family¡¯s magic, a magic so rare and secret that neither she nor any of her young cousins even knew what it was.
Yet if Regina manifested her family¡¯s magic, whatever it might be (personally, Regina suspected it had something to do with earning money by glaring at people), she would either be married to one of her male cousins or (even worse) uncles to breed more Sheridans.
That was assuming that her magic was found useful.
If Regina manifested magic and her magic was found to be useless, she would be killed off for being a disgrace to the Sheridan blood.
Given the options, Regina was desperately hoping that some widower with twelve plump children would suddenly decide they wanted a Sheridan connection before Regina developed any skill more advanced than keeping the elders from remembering her name.
As it was, Regina also desperately hoped that when she arrived at the breakfast table, she could have a calm and peaceful day with no fatal ¡®accidents¡¯ in her future.
Surely a civilized murderer would wait until after she had a cup of tea?
Yet when Regina arrived at the breakfast table, she was shocked to see both her mother and father together.
For as long as Regina could remember, her parents acted as though spending time with one another was as pleasant as amputating a body part. Of all the problems with her parents, this one Regina could at least understand given that they were cousins who had been forcibly married. So while Regina¡¯s parents had managed some pretense of family togetherness before Regina¡¯s older sister had been killed for having ¡®useless¡¯ magic, Regina¡¯s parents had outright avoided each other¡¯s company afterwards.
Therefore, seeing them together sent a chill down Regina¡¯s spine¡ one not helped by the joyous looks on their faces.
¡°Mother,¡± Regina said, trying not to panic and flee, ¡°and Father! What a¡ pleasant surprise to see the both of you here!¡±
Left unsaid were the words, ¡®If you are here to hunt me down, can you at least give me a head start?¡¯
Regina wondered if somehow she had accidentally worn something not in a particularly unobtrusive shade of beige, but a discreet glance down revealed that she was still as colorless and bland as a bowl of oatmeal.
Still unsure how her parents could even see her, Regina was jolted out of her half-formed plan to see if she could become one with the wallpaper by her father¡¯s brisk tones.
¡°Come sit,¡± said Father, ¡°and stop standing like a particularly stupid ruler.¡±
He sniffed. ¡°Probably a metric ruler, at that.¡±
When her father started comparing her to a ruler, Regina knew she had to act swiftly, even if she was insulted by the comparison. After all, she was even more boring than a ruler! She did not even have exciting numerical markings on her!
Quickly taking her seat, Regina took a moment to examine her parents to try to determine what they might be doing.
¡®Father only lets himself be so happy when he has plenty of money in hand,¡¯ she noted, ¡®and Mother only looks this pleased when she has won big on a horse race or attended the funeral of someone she hates. So they are obviously plotting something together¡
¡®...and I can only hope it does not mean anything terrible for me.¡¯
Unfortunately, Regina¡¯s concerns were all too quickly realized.
¡°Congratulations, Regina Edmund Sheridan,¡± her father said, pushing his glasses up his nose, even as her mother leaned back and began playing with one of her knives. ¡°You are about to achieve something almost as remarkable as a well-balanced set of accounts.¡±
The only time Regina¡¯s father ever used the middle name her parents had given her out of disappointment she was not the boy they had expected was if something truly terrible was about to happen.
Blinking hard, Regina forced a smile and said, ¡°That is such¡ astounding news, father. I cannot wait to hear more of what you mean!¡±
¡°Your leaky quill of a sire,¡± Regina¡¯s mother said even as her father shot a glare at her, ¡°is trying to tell you that you are about to get married and remove yourself from this bloody family.¡±
Swallowing hard, Regina managed a slightly more natural smile, even as she wondered how something like this was even possible. Had her parents misunderstood some declaration of the elders?
¡°I am thrilled to hear of such wonderful news,¡± Regina said, ¡°though I suppose this means that our elders have accepted that I will never develop our family¡¯s magic?¡±
The idea that Regina would not have to wait until twenty-five, as was the way of the family, filled Regina with an entirely unfamiliar hope for her future.
¡°Of course not,¡± her father snapped. ¡°You are already one-and-twenty and not special in the least. After all, you have not experienced anything¡ peculiar recently, right?
Regina shook her head so hard, it was a wonder it still remained attached to her neck.
¡°Of course not!¡± she said, resolutely trying not to think of her bizarre dreams. ¡°I would not dream of being special! My very presence makes mediocrity look amazing! I make porridge, taxes, and the color beige seem exciting!¡±
¡°Taxes are exciting,¡± said her father, frowning, before her mother raised a hand and he closed his mouth with a snap.
¡°Good girl,¡± her mother said, giving Regina a terrifyingly penetrating look. ¡°I did wonder where you were getting all that beige¡ I can help you find more, should you have a shortage of material for your outfits. Staying¡ uninteresting shall help you remain out of trouble where you are going, at least until everything is finalized.¡±
Smile faltering, Regina said, ¡°...Where I am going?¡±
No Sheridan left the family house prior to marriage¡
¡unless the family they were marrying was of higher rank than the Sheridans. The Sheridans were a marquessate, so there were only four families in the land that were higher ranked than they were-
Mounting horror clawing at her heart, Regina said in a voice on the verge of utter panic, ¡°Mother, Father¡ where are you sending me?¡±
¡°The palace in the Capital,¡± her father said, beaming even as Regina felt her entire body freeze as if she had been set in ice. ¡°We are in talks with the royal family to arrange an engagement. If all goes well¡¡±
For the first time in a very long time, Regina¡¯s mother began to laugh.
It was the most terrifying sound Regina had ever heard.
¡°If all goes well, we will have a glorious party for your engagement!¡± her mother said joyously. ¡°If the negotiations succeed, Crown Prince Aaron Alpin says that he would like to have the engagement ceremony within the month.¡±
Chapter 2: Parental Supervision
Regina''s sister had once told Regina that when a person died, their life supposedly flashed before their eyes.
Regina had no desire to see that flash before she hit old age. Unfortunately, her life was running on full repeat in front of her as her mother kept speaking, oblivious to her daughter''s nearly stopped heart.
"Of course your engagement party to the Crown Prince will cost a fortune," her mother sighed, "which means I am going to have to enter a lot of horse races from now until it happens."
"You say as though you do not look forward to spending yet more time on the track," Regina''s father muttered, looking sour as he rubbed his forehead above his oversized glasses.
"Still," Regina''s mother continued, though she shot a cold look back at her husband, "an extravagant engagement will be well worth whatever gold we must spend. We cannot look like beggars or, even worse, commoners when we are about to make our daughter a queen."
Regina''s mother said that last word with even more satisfaction than she had while counting the winnings from a bet and a new terrible thought took root in Regina''s mind.
"How did our family garner this engagement to the Alpin royal family?" Regina asked, mind still whirling with how improbable this scenario was. "We are not one of the three great ducal families ¨C"
"You mean the Nevilles, Burens, and Kuzeys," Regina''s father interrupted, a wry smile on his lips. "Trust me when I say that there is a reason the Alpins have not married into those families for years."
Regina did not know what her father meant, but even if the Alpin monarchs had reasons for avoiding a marriage contract with the three most powerful noble houses of Carcosa¡
"But why," Regina asked, "would the Alpin royal family marry into our family? We are a marquessate family and technically we are but one rank below the duchies. However, we have only held a marquessate for a single generation. We¡ we only stopped being powerless commoners just a few decades ago, when we first manifested our magic. So how¡"
Regina stopped, staring at her parents to see whether either were upset with her honesty.
Unfortunately, they both looked amused, which was more terrifying than if they had been upset. In fact, her mother looked almost approving, with a smile that Regina knew was going to feature in her nightmares.
"So why," Regina bravely asked, "did the Alpins decide to pick a bride from our family?"
Both her parents smiled widely in unison, causing Regina to flinch in spite of herself.
"The Alpins chose us," Regina''s mother said, "because they are always looking for new knowledge and we are excellent brokers of¡ information."
"Besides," her father dryly added, "even if the bloody Alpins do not always understand our information, they understand money¡ and we will spend whatever we must to make them overlook your deficits."
Stung, Regina sat still in her chair.
For a moment, she wondered if she should continue to protest, if there was anything she could do to let her avoid meeting, let alone marrying, the Crown Prince of Carcosa.
Even if her dream of being condemned at her engagement party to that prince had just been a hallucination brought about by a bad dinner, she did not want to deal with a crown prince.
All she wanted, all she had ever wanted, was to be safe and maybe even¡ peacefully content.
Those goals did not fit with a life spent publicly parading around the royal court as the future Queen.
With a flash of desperation, Regina thought about asking her parents why one of her unmarried female cousins could not take her role as the Crown Prince''s bride-to-be instead. Anne was prettier, Elizabeth was wittier, and Henrietta had arms even brawnier than Regina''s, which would be useful if the queen-to-be ever had to personally beat Carcosa''s enemies to death.
All of them would make for far better queens than Regina, especially given how much effort Regina put into being as forgettable as the location of a pair of missing stockings. Surely it would be easy enough to persuade her ruthlessly efficient parents that someone else would be a more useful choice for the Sheridans?
"What if," Regina began to say, "instead of me, you chose ¨C"
Then she took a long look at her parents'' faces and stopped speaking as she realized a much larger, more horrifying problem.
After all, her father had already spoken about Regina''s deficits¡
¡so what would become of her if she reminded them that she was useless for the one thing her parents had ever expected her to do for them?
Instead, Regina took up her fork and began to mindlessly chew whatever they were serving for breakfast, even as her parents continued.
"Do not worry about others sneering at you as their future queen," Regina''s mother said, looking almost maternal for a moment. "We Sheridans may have only become nobles in the last few decades but I like to think that makes us¡ potent."
"Absolutely," Regina''s father said, slamming his hand on the table while Regina tried not to choke. "We are not like those decadent Nevilles or Burens or Kuzeys. We have had to fight for every scrap of power we have ever received, for every gold coin we have ever made! We used every ounce of cunning we had to make sure we went from being commoners to being recognized as nobles¡ and not just breeding stock used by other noble families!"
For once, Regina was in complete agreement with her parents¡ at least in terms of how the Sheridans had outmaneuvered the noble families of Carcosa. Regina shuddered, picturing what could have happened to her family if they had not already been wealthy and cunning, despite being commoners, when the family magic manifested.
As much as she hated her family''s elders, she had to credit them for her family''s independence. Though the Sheridans had been merely commoner merchants just a few decades ago, albeit as powerful and wealthy as commoners could be, they suddenly developed magical powers seemingly overnight. Unfortunately for all the noble families who had attempted to discover the Sheridan secrets, the reason for those magical powers remained a mystery.
Yet while most commoners with magic were forcefully "adopted" or "married" into existing noble families to breed more magical children, the Sheridan elders had hidden their family''s abilities long enough to buy and blackmail their way into becoming nobles who could not be subjected to such force. Thus, unlike other magical commoners, the Sheridans had escaped the pitiful fate of being all-but-kidnapped into existing noble families.
Regina would have applauded her elders'' cunning if the elders had not then decided that the best way to keep their family in power as nobles was to marry out their magicless children to other nobles, marry their powerful magical children to one another, and kill off any children with weak magic powers.
What was more, the elders did all this while keeping the younger Sheridans blind as to what magic they were supposed to be manifesting!
To this day, Regina had no idea what her family''s power was. Regina''s sister had once speculated that it might be some form of luck that made every business deal the Sheridans were involved with go well.
If so, Regina certainly did not inherit that power given that she had never, ever, ever been lucky.
Then again, Regina was grateful for the fact that she had not inherited her family''s secret magic. Her older sister had inherited that magic. However, once her sister''s magic was deemed to be ''useless'' by her family¡
Regina''s eyes drifted to the empty seat that her sister had once used, back when her parents still breakfasted regularly with their children in what Regina had once thought was a clumsy but sincere attempt at family bonding.
"Thank you," Regina said to her parents, eyes still fixed on her sister''s empty seat. "I¡ appreciate the troubles you two have gone through on my behalf. It will be just¡ lovely to be married."
Granted, it would have been lovelier if Regina could have married a dull nobleman with a country estate where Regina''s greatest challenges would have involved angry geese and aromatic cheese.
After all, even Regina, an inbred shut-in whose greatest strength lay in becoming the human equivalent of wallpaper paste when danger was near, knew that the royal family was terrifying and prone to ''testing'' their heirs¡
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¡ which meant that even Regina knew that any knives out for the Crown Prince would be out for his wife as well.
However, as Regina mindlessly placed something in her mouth that might have been food or the remnants of her dignity, she resigned herself to her future.
It was useless to ask her parents to give up on their family''s long-held dream of becoming a ducal power as strong as the Nevilles, Burens, and Alpins. The Sheridans were already the only family of power in the West, but it would take royal support to move their rank beyond that of a marquessate.
What could she even tell her parents that would make them give up on such an important connection to the royal Alpins? What could she say that would outweigh stopping other nobles from sneering at the Sheridans for being upstart merchants¡ with the insinuation that all that their rank as a marquessate family could be removed just as easily as they received it?
Only a ducal title was nearly impossible to remove¡ which Regina assumed was why the northern Kuzeys, notorious for their lack of interest in politics, still claimed their rank. Thus, it was no wonder her family yearned to be a ducal family as well.
So Regina sat at the breakfast table, treating each bite as if it was a brick in the wall of her future while her mother and father continued speaking. Through the dull drone in her ears, Regina assumed they were either criticizing her or trying to arm her for the future. She honestly could not tell.
She was finally forced to pay attention when her father said that given the size of her dowry, the Alpins would be satisfied just by her having the right number of eyes, arms, and ears and Regina briefly wondered what those numbers were. Did the Alpins want their brides to have extra eyes with which to observe their many gold ornaments?
Before Regina could contemplate the Alpin approved number of arms, her mother added, "And if they are not satisfied with you having a body, remember that you can probably trick the Alpins into impaling each other with those little metal stakes they love to make."
"Thank you for the advice," Regina said, absently stabbing her plate with the force of a metal-wielding Alpin against a rival. "Perhaps I can try it during the engagement party."
"Oh, please do not," Regina''s father replied, frowning. "We are paying thousands of coins for the gaudy gold-cloth that the Alpins insist on adding to all their events. If you are going to incite bloodshed, do it outside. It is much easier to remove blood from bushes."
With that generous piece of parental guidance, both Regina''s mother and father left the breakfast table.
Regina stared at the plate in front of her until whatever indistinguishable lump she was eating started to look like a multi-eyed, multi-armed version of herself.
Quietly, she rose gracefully from the table, gracefully exited the dining room, gracefully entered the manor garden, and gracefully raised her head to the heavens to scream soundlessly at the universe that hated her.
~???~
Regina was not entirely sure what she did after entering the garden.
She suspected at one point she might have pretended to be a bush in a desperate attempt to see if she could will herself into becoming foliage.
Either way, by the time the pleasant fog in her mind cleared, it was evening and she was once again in her bedroom.
Completely exhausted and seriously contemplating whether setting the manor on fire would cause enough confusion for her to pretend to be dead and run away to be the Amazing Human Wallpaper in a traveling show, Regina collapsed in bed.
"I know," she said while glaring at her ceiling, "that I have always wanted to leave my family as a bride rather than a corpse, but why did my family take that as a challenge? Did my parents have to engage me to the bloody Crown Prince of Carcosa?! Were there not any potato men available? Could they not have found a quiet, spudlike baron for me?!"
Pinching the bridge of her nose, Regina felt a headache emerging as she thought about her future. "In fact, I would take an actual potato over the Crown Prince. If I were married to a potato, at least people might not care enough to frame me for being a wicked villainess!"
Sensing that seriously contemplating the possibilities of marriage to a vegetable was not a good sign for her mental state, Regina forced herself to take a deep breath.
"Serene," she told herself sternly. "I will be serene. Perhaps this engagement will not be as bad as I fear. After all, it would be bad politics for the prince or his family to let me be killed. What other noble family would marry their daughters into the Alpin line if the Alpins show how little they respect their prospective brides? Who would waste their dowries if it meant losing both their child and their family''s reputation?"
After another deep breath, Regina closed her eyes. "It was only a terrible dream¡ and I have always had terrible dreams. Just because I dream about being dissolved in a puddle of poison, does not mean that I need to fear going out in the rain! After all, only Cousin Alric was killed by dissolving his flesh and it smelled so terrible the elders never tried it again!"
Thus fortified with common sense, Regina tucked herself in bed, feeling much more confident about her future. "I just need to get a good night''s sleep and make new plans tomorrow. If I have outlasted my family''s deadly dinners and poisonous puddles, I will not let a mere engagement kill me! The universe does not care enough about someone like me to spend energy making my life, in particular, miserable."
So, filled with equal parts determination and exhaustion, Regina drifted to sleep.
Unfortunately, the universe did in fact enjoy making Regina Sheridan, in particular, miserable.
~???~
Henrietta Sheridan, Regina¡¯s favorite cousin, had both brawny arms and a formidable information network.
She also had the bad habit of asking questions Regina either could not or did not wish to answer.
Regina had hoped to hide from her after seeing Henrietta¡¯s searching gaze at breakfast, but Henrietta had cornered Regina in the hallway.
¡°Who died?¡± said Henrietta, arms crossed, as she blocked Regina¡¯s only corridor of exit.
¡°No one and nothing,¡± Regina muttered, ¡°unless you count my last piece of faith in humanity and the universe.¡±
¡°We all lost that quite a while back,¡± Henrietta responded briskly. ¡°Even so, you look especially terrible. If it was not because of someone¡¯s murder¡ Were you harmed?¡±
Seeing Henrietta making a threatening movement towards a large vase, potentially with the intention to merge it with a Sheridan elder, Regina hastily waved her hand.
¡°No. No! No one has harmed me.¡±
Regina hoped that was sufficient to keep her cousin from a suicide mission against the powerful family members who kept them all in check, but Henrietta still stared at Regina with concern.
Finally, Henrietta cocked her head, still watching Regina¡¯s face. ¡°Were you not able to sleep?¡±
It was as if some tiny, thin thread holding Regina together finally snapped.
¡°Well, would you be able to sleep with a frolicking blond everywhere you looked?!? On top of the crates? A frolicking blond! Hanging from the windowsill outside the cafe? A frolicking blond! Dancing by himself while my terrifying dreams are potentially confirmed to be real? A frolicking blond!!¡±
¡°What ¨C¡± was all Henrietta had time to say before Regina grabbed her by her shoulders and asked her a desperate question.
¡°Hen,¡± Regina pleaded, ¡°if someone sneezes at night in the dark of their locked room, you ask them the next morning how their cold is doing. Tell me, please, did you hear any news of an orphanage being sponsored by the Alpins in celebration of¡ of the crown prince¡¯s possible engagement?¡±
Even as Henrietta stared blankly at Regina, Regina mentally pleaded, ¡®It was just a dream. I was so dazed yesterday that I ate the bouquet on the table instead of my food and thus had nightmares about a shiny gyrating blond man hopping around the town square in the middle of a ridiculous proclamation. The Alpins hate commoners and orphans and probably kick puppies in their time spent not impaling people with spikes. They would never sponsor an orphanage. The universe would never play such a cruel joke.¡±
Unfortunately, Henrietta then spoke as the voice of a cruel, joke-playing universe. ¡°How did you find out before me? Gina, how did you already know that the royal family has begun celebrating the crown prince¡¯s probable engagement to you with a new orphanage? That is remarkable ¨C I just read in this morning¡¯s broadsheets that they plan an official announcement in the Capital square later this morning!¡±
Defeated, Regina slumped against the wall of the manor, even as Henrietta continued to stare at her.
¡°I thought you would be happy,¡± Henrietta pointed out, clearly confused. ¡°I heard that you were about to marry into the royal family just a few days ago and you could do far worse for in-laws, considering our options.¡±
The worst part, Regina realized in something close to despair, was that Henrietta was not wrong.
If Regina was not having terrifying dreams, she probably would have been delighted to have been so thoroughly removed by marriage to a family the Sheridans could never touch. Henrietta must have used her uncanny information gathering abilities to find out about the engagement and been waiting for Regina to share her delight.
It was unfortunate that Regina¡¯s only thoughts were of mourning her lost country potato engagement.
As it was, she barely heard Henrietta¡¯s continued thoughts. ¡°Though I suppose you shall need to start being a little more¡ hmm¡¡±
¡°Difficult to murder?¡± Regina tonelessly replied.
¡°I was going to say ¡®more social and talkative¡¯,¡± Henrietta said dryly. ¡°Even so, this sudden Alpin generosity has made headlines all over Carcosa. The royal family is hardly known for their charity work, so it is obvious that they are preparing to win over the commoners in support of the succession. Everyone knows this is all leading to an engagement for one of their princes¡ though only we know that you are their chosen bride-to-be.¡±
Regina just sank further into her seat and groaned like a dying Sheridan cousin.
¡°Please,¡± Henrietta said, as her eyebrow rose to incredible heights. ¡°Try not to overwhelm me with your delight.¡±
Seeing that Henrietta was starting to get truly offended by Regina¡¯s behavior, Regina weakly pleaded a headache and fled for the relative safety of her room.
Sitting at her desk, with a nice clean piece of paper in front of her, Regina tried to reassure herself that this meant nothing.
¡°I need to calm down and think rationally,¡± Regina told herself, scribbling frantically with her quill. ¡°Last night, I just had a silly dream about a very shiny man that I obviously invented, experiencing an event that I knew would happen because¡ well, after all, I have been hearing much news of the Alpins and their¡ their¡ their passion for public works!
¡°Obviously,¡± Regina decided, ¡°my mind has a hidden fixation for both blonds and for tracking what the Alpins are doing. I am just on a very unfortunate journey of discovery! Truly, if the Alpins looked more like potatoes, none of this would have happened. Once I stop mourning my quiet potato baron and our quiet country life, I will be perfectly fine!¡±
Regina stared triumphantly down at the paper in front of her, convinced of her own ability to outplan her fate.
A large potato marked with ¡°Blond wig?¡± stared back at her.
Regina calmly crumpled the paper and tossed it in the fireplace, her face serene and completely unbothered.
Regina stared at her face in the mirror on the fireplace mantle. ¡°My dreams do not mean anything in particular. I am obviously rattled by my upcoming engagement and need to get better sleep!¡±
¡°In fact,¡± Regina added, ¡°I am so unafraid of my dreams, that I am going to go to bed right now. When I wake up, I expect to be refreshed and to remember nothing of what happened while I was dreaming.¡±
There was one thing Regina¡¯s extended sleep proved when she woke the next morning.
It seemed that Regina had needed fourteen hours of sleep¡
¡in order to truly understand that the universe hated her.
Chapter 3: Visions & Revelations
"You," said Regina''s father, pushing his glasses firmly up the bridge of his nose, "look as if someone dropped a large sack of gold coins on you from a great height."
Regina wished someone had dropped a large sack of gold coins on her from a great height.
If she had survived the weight, at least then she might have had enough coin to bribe the guards at the border to let her flee the country.
She was also not sure why she had seen her parents more in the past two days than in the entire six months prior, but she hoped that it was a situation that would end very soon.
Which it might, she thought grimly, if she actually was-
"Where," said Regina, stabbing her breakfast with the force she could not apply to everyone who had placed her in this nightmare, "would I even find a giant sack of falling coins?"
"Probably," said her father, raising his eyebrow, "in the same place you found those six brooches."
Regina winced, the movement hurting her already sore muscles, strained from stress from the night previous.
Regina did not want to be wearing six brooches.
Wearing six brooches was only part of Regina''s efforts to convince herself that her dreams meant nothing at all.
She barely avoided glaring at her father as she thought, ''Well if you were the one dreaming about a frolicking blond man hopping from crate to crate in the harbor, I suspect you would be quite happy to suspect that you had been reading too many of Henrietta''s romance novels and that your mind was subconsciously telling you that you needed to wear more jewelry.''
After all, it was not like Regina''s dark family of reclusive crows featured many blond men outside of books. Regina was very afraid that the recent engagement had convinced her that she needed to expand her knowledge of the world before she was trapped in an even worse cage than the Sheridans.
Wearing more bright jewelry was the least harmful way she could think to reduce her restlessness. It was perfectly obvious that dreaming about a blond man frolicking in front of a ship called "Prince''s Seaduction" was a not at all subtle signal from the depths of her consciousness.
Settled in her mind, Regina started to slice her sausage slightly less forcibly, only to hear her father suddenly let out a loud harumph.
"What are those Poissons thinking?" her father said, glaring at the newspaper that had suddenly appeared in front of him. "Of course if you overfill a ship with fish and fish-associated products, it will take longer than it should to reach port. They are lucky it should be able to limp back to dock later this afternoon. What fool would call a ship ''Prince''s Seaduction'' anyways?"
Regina''s knife nearly went through her finger on its way to the floor from her suddenly nerveless hands.
~???~
Regina stared the Sheridan family physician straight in the eyes.
"I need a sleeping draught," she said.
Since the Sheridan family physician was also the Sheridan family poisoner, Regina would normally avoid them at all costs, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
After all, Regina was fairly sure her family needed to keep her alive at least long enough to engage her to the crown prince of her nightmares. Secretly, she also thought that even if the physician did poison her, at least she would stop seeing frolicking blond men every time she closed her eyes.
Surely she would stop dreaming when she was dead?
Having to see a shiny blond man in her dreams in various locations around the Capital of Carcosa was almost as annoying as spending a week of waking up every morning and having people discuss what she had dreamed over breakfast¡ as events that would occur at some point in the future.
It was not so much that Regina was in denial. Something this ridiculous was too stupid to even credit as reality. It was that she was now convinced her entire family was playing an elaborate joke on her and that the family power was actually the ability to manipulate dreams.
Of course, this meant that her entire family was thus trying to drive her mad, but that also felt more realistic than the alternative.
Regina had enough experience of strong sleeping draughts after the death of her sister to be able to determine if one was a real draught or not. The ones that the Sheridan doctor provided erased all memories of the night and potentially several years of life. At the very least, Regina would be able to tell if she was given something weaker or mixed with poison.
"Are you sure you wish for something this strong?" said the physician.
Regina pulled out the bag that contained most of her life savings she had once considered as a potential escape fund.
"If I am," she said, "to best support the Sheridan family''s honor in my engagement, I will need a good night''s sleep, will I not?"
Once she reached the hallway with her sleeping draught and a "complimentary" stock of fertility enhancing medications, tinctures for hair gloss, and a roll of "mints for increasing the sweetness of breath", Regina finally was able to breathe in relief.
"Tonight," said Regina, "not even a single frolicking blond is going to penetrate the darkness of my misery."
~???~
Regina looked in the mirror the next morning, the anger in her eyes almost as dark as the circles under them.
"I have," she said through gritted teeth, "seriously underestimated the abilities of frolicking blonds."
It was not just anger in Regina''s stare. There was also a grim resignation that she had been trying very hard to avoid. As it was, she realized this was her last chance to refute the truth she had been fighting.
With the march of a woman making her last stand against the cruel stupidity of the universe, Regina marched down to breakfast, for once grateful that both her parents were there. The number of times she had seen them in the last week was more than in the three years prior.
(Some people might suspect it was parental fondness at work. Regina assumed her parents just wanted to make sure Regina would not run away from the engagement now that they had committed to paying an eye-watering dowry).
Regina did not even try to pretend she was going to do anything other than face her truth that morning. With visions of a frolicking blond man in the middle of a race track where Prince''s Charm was handily beating the other horses, there was only one thing left to confirm.
"Mother," she said grimly, as she tried to arrange her eggs into something that looked vaguely like a nest of blond hair, "what horse do you plan to bet on this afternoon at the races?"
Regina had always wondered how her mother''s terrible gambling did not result in the bankruptcy of her family, but it was undeniable that her mother had an uncanny sense of good horseflesh.
Her mother smiled over the antique knife she was gently polishing. "Why Prince''s Charm of course, darling. Why do you ask?"
''Because an incredibly flashy blonde man was busily frolicking in the small circle of potted plants in the center of the track and I heard the announcement of the race winner'' was not going to be a winning answer, Regina could tell.
"I like horsies," Regina blurted out instead in blind panic.
''Well,'' thought Regina, as her parents exchanged a dark glance at her words, ''I might not have time to go fully mad if my parents murder me for being too stupid to sell off to Carcosa''s future king.''
Yet even as Regina quietly left the table, her strangely looking human eggs remaining behind her, she slowly resigned herself to the truth she had been fighting.
Even working her way through the day that she could not remember could not keep the resentment from slowly building until it finally exploded when she collapsed onto her bed that evening.
"All I want," she snapped to no one in particular, "is to marry out of my murderous family and live a safe, normal life with the human equivalent of a potato. But instead ¨C instead ¨C!"
She thrust her finger up at the ceiling as though she were pointing the finger at fate itself.
"Instead, I finally developed my family''s magic power, a power that will make my family either marry or murder me if they realize I possess it, and it has the stupidest limitation possible!"
After all, the more Regina thought of it, the more it made perfect sense that her family''s mysterious magic, the same magic that had propelled them from being mere commoners to nobles on the verge of marrying into the royal family, was a form of precognition.
Being able to tell the future was a truly terrifying and astounding power¡ and if that was the Sheridans'' secret gift, Regina could finally understand how her family had risen so far and chosen to keep their abilities secret.
However, Regina had realized an even more horrifying truth about her own version of this power as the nights had passed.
She could see the future, yes.
However, her power to look into the future apparently only manifested with¡ some shiny, pretty, and completely bizarre blond man who loved to prance and frolic throughout Carcosa.
There were no visions of the future without this man, and Regina had seen enough to realize it was unlikely that was going to change. So any glimpse of the future she received was somehow connected to this strange man she did not even know.
This was terrifying in more than one way.
Regina had a sinking feeling that if her family realized how limited her power happened to be¡
"I have to hide my power," Regina whispered, suddenly paranoid of anyone that might realize what had happened to her. "No one, not even Henrietta, can know that I can tell the future in this utterly absurd way! If my family learns about my powers, they will not even marry me off to Cousin Gomer with the constantly itchy ears - they will arrange an ''accident'' between me and the nearest balcony!"
The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
Then, Regina''s sinking stomach only sank further, possibly deeper than the depths the Poisson family fished, as she realized something else.
"Yet if my visions are correct and I get engaged to the Crown Prince¡ I will die after I get framed for being a villainess. The problem is that alerting anyone to this will result in my immediate death by ''accidental'' falling or poisoning or falling repeatedly on my mother''s knife! However, if both routes lead to death¡ how can I protect myself?!"
Muttering curses against her family, the universe, and the physician who thought that her hair needed to be any more glossy, Regina fell into a deeply unhappy sleep.
The next morning, Regina asked her parents a bold question at breakfast.
"Mother and father," she said in the sweetest voice she could muster, "I wonder if you could both grant me a favor?"
Her parents exchanged surprised looks and then her mother said, "Of course, Regina. You know that we would do anything for you. You need only ask to receive."
Regina considered it a testament to her self-control that she did not throw her eggs at her parents'' face. They were only slightly less yellow than the hair of the blond man who had spent all night frolicking through her mind and a field of flowers.
Instead of screaming or assaulting her parents with food, Regina sweetly asked, "Then could you arrange a party for me in the capital city before my engagement to the crown prince takes place?"
Her parents looked equally puzzled before her father asked, " You ? Want a party ? For yourself ? But you are so very¡ very¡"
"Prone to blending into the wallpaper and not saying much of anything to anyone, yes, I know," Regina chirped, though she was actually proud of her excellent camouflage skills.
"Yet if I am to wed the crown prince and become the future Queen of Carcosa," Regina added, "I cannot rely only on my ability to perfectly match any given shade of beige! I must meet other nobles, polish up my social graces, and not seem like a ¨C a ¨C"
Regina supposed admitting she was an inbred shut-in might seem like an insult to her family, as accurate as the term was, so she just trailed off while soulfully staring at her parents.
''Come now,'' she urged her mother and father in her head as they stared at her and then at each other. ''You both know that I have all the social graces of a hedgehog run over by a carriage because I was never allowed to meet anyone outside of this bloody manor. My request makes perfect sense so please, just agree!''
Nothing Regina said was incorrect, even if she was leaving out the critical fact that she wanted a debutante party in the hopes of meeting a new groom.
''After all '', she thought, ''I was obviously framed during my engagement to Crown Prince Aaron Alpin because someone hated the thought of me being the future queen. If I can just find and convince any other nobleman to marry me¡ even as I hide my powers from my family¡''
Still immersed in her thoughts, Regina only jolted back to attention when she heard her mother stab her knife into the table and say, "Fine! If a debutante party is what you want, Regina, then a debutante party is what you will get!"
"No one," Regina''s father said grimly, "can say we do not do our best by you."
Though Regina doubted that last part very much, she was delighted that her parents were willing to aid her in cuckolding the crown prince of Carcosa.
Feeling a small twinge of conscience, Regina justified herself with the knowledge that she was not even yet actually engaged and it would probably be awkward for her parents socially if their daughter was declared a traitor.
Really, everyone would be much happier when Regina found her gentle potato man and went off to fight geese and poor hygiene in the countryside.
Surely, nothing else could go wrong and the universe would cease to torment her.
While the Sheridan manor was in the West of the Carcosa, it was not so far from the Capital city, but every movement of the carriage away from the manor made Regina feel an unfamiliar sense of distance.
She still could not believe that she was finally leaving the lands she had been so afraid would be her grave and all she ever saw before she died.
As it was, Regina was keenly aware that a grave might still be waiting for her if she failed to change what her visions had shown her.
The night before Regina attended her debutante party in Carcosa''s Capital, she lay in her bed in her family''s unfamiliar town house and hoped desperately that no strange visions would trouble her.
"Please," she said to whatever higher power might be listening to her, "just give me one night of rest. I have to find another fianc¨¦ at this party and I can hardly do that if I arrive looking like something scraped off a horse''s backside. So please just let me sleep without dreams."
Unfortunately, Regina was starting to realize that her secondary power was for the universe to provide the opposite of what she desired.
Regina was once again wearing her nightgown, standing in an unknown garden and staring at an all too familiar blond man.
"You would think," she grumbled, "that I would at least be able to choose my own clothing, but no, I must see the future while dressed as stupidly as possible."
Her complaints were abruptly interrupted by a group of men nearly as blond as her shiny frolicker suddenly appearing and surrounding her goldfish man.
"So you thought," said one of them with a large sneer, "that you could get away with harassing the future bride of your elder brother?"
The goldfish man had a surprisingly blank look on his face as Regina watched in horror as another-Regina was pulled out from the group of men.
"He did not-" said not-Regina as she was shoved in front of them.
"There are two options here," said the sneering man. "Either you are a loose woman who willingly spent time alone with the second prince when you are about to be engaged to the crown prince or the fool prince harassed you and deserves to be punished."
The last thing Regina saw before she woke was the strange look of resignation on the face of her shiny dandelion man.
''Well,'' thought Regina, as she rose to consciousness, ''those are not the only two options, you misshapen pieces of egg!''
However, before she could ruthlessly castigate her dream bullies, Regina found her eyes fluttering open as her cousin Henrietta poked her awake.
"Come on," Henrietta mercilessly said as several unknown maids began advancing terrifyingly towards her. "It is your debutante ball this evening and your mother has already prepared your dress. I hope you are not planning on any breakfast because that corset will not lace up with even a single egg."
Thus, all thoughts of pretty but imperiled blond men faded from Regina''s head as the horrifying preparations for the party proceeded¡
¡which was how Regina found herself at her surprisingly crowded debutante party¡ while cursing her past self for her terrible planning.
''What was I thinking?!'' Regina asked her past self, even as she pasted a frozen smile on her face and curtsied to every new noble who offered her their congratulations (or barely-disguised condolences) for the ''happy news'' that was soon to come.
''Did I really believe that I would be able to waltz into this party and¡ and¡ and meet some man who I could convince to marry me? I am an inbred shut-in who barely saw sunlight in my last one-and-twenty years of life! Who would want to marry me and how would I even manage to convince them short of assault, kidnapping, and blackmail?!''
Even as Regina''s parents dragged her from one set of nobles to another, Regina felt as though her heart was about to explode from anxiety, a state not helped by the tightness of her corset and her lack of adequate nutrition.
After spending her whole life cloistered within her family estate, surrounded only by relatives and retainers, moving to her family''s town house in the Capital had been a complete shock¡ and her current debutante party was threatening to overwhelm her.
'' If I have to make small-talk with yet another noble I do not know ,'' Regina thought to herself, '' I may rend my awful garments in despair and take off into the night. How am I supposed to do anything when all of these strange people keep breathing at me?"
In the end, Regina kept herself together with the reminder that this party was her one and only opportunity to escape her engagement to the Crown Prince¡ someone who was thankfully (and suspiciously) absent.
Just the thought of that terrifying and treacherous Crown Prince gave Regina motivation to keep attempting her literal man-hunt.
''No,'' she sternly told herself. ''I cannot lose my mind the way poor Cousin Jenkins did in that regrettable incident with the mannequin and the squirrels. Even if I hate being surrounded by so many people, I shall do whatever I must to stay alive, even if it means smiling inanely every time someone tries to assess my magic or my teeth. No matter what, I will persevere!''
Besides, after consultation with Henrietta and Henrietta''s extensive romance novel collection, Regina had a good idea of how she would achieve her goal of finding a substitute husband.
''Even if I have never seduced a man before,'' Regina confidently told herself, ''the romance novels make it seem so easy. I just need to find a likely target and hurl myself at him. Then, according to them, after stunning him so that he cannot run away, I will incite that man''s passion by showing him some of my bosom¡''
Regina took a discreet look at her unimposing cleavage and sighed before rallying.
''Well if that does not work, I will hope the stars align and the man burns for me anyway because those romance novels never give much of a reason for why men fall in love¡ but that must mean that most men who do not wish to murder you are easy to please!''
Thus fortified and forcing a smile back on her face, Regina prepared for the next eligible bachelor she might meet.
''Anyway, I am easy to please as well. In fact, I will take any man in want of a wife whose life he does not wish to destroy !''
That was when a man that Regina recognized all too well slid into view and Regina learned again to regret her words.
In person, Lord Grass Hair was even more striking than he had been in Regina''s hazy first vision of him.
In her dreams of him, she had been rather too busy trying to make sense of her sudden betrayal, imprisonment, and then death to focus on his appearance, but as he introduced himself to her, Regina could not help staring .
"My lady," Lord Grass Hair said, even as Regina stared at his handsome face, warm smile, blossom boutonniere, and characteristic mop of wavy brown-and-green hair. "Forgive me for forgoing a more formal introduction, but I could not resist the opportunity to meet when you are, for once, not surrounded. It is my pleasure to greet you during your debut to society. I am Robin Buren, a branch count of the Buren Duchy. How do you do this evening?"
Regina might have even managed an answer of some kind if she did not find her gaze drifting from Lord Grass Hair, no, Lord Robin Buren , to the other noblemen scattered around him.
After all, it was hard not to notice Lord Leaf Brooch, Lord Red Hair, Lord Ocean Waves, and Lord Feet Fish all arrayed in the crowd as naturally as they had been at¡
¡at Regina''s doomed engagement party.
Regina could only hope that her face wasn''t as pale as her milk-white dress as she quietly set her glass on a nearby table, hand still shaking, and stammered out a clumsy excuse to leave.
"Pray forgive me," she stammered, even as Lord Robin Buren looked understandably puzzled. "I just realized I have an appointment for¡ another appointment which is obviously, erm, crucial for me to meet!"
Lord Robin Buren looked almost adorable in his confusion as he replied. "An appointment? But my lady, we are at a party¡ "
Regina was beyond caring, however.
No matter what, she had to run .
After all, she now knew that the people she had seen in her dreams were truly real .
The events she had seen happening had actually happened .
There was only one piece still missing¡ and Regina was determined not to find it.
"I have," said Regina, her eyes wide and panicked, "an appointment to¡ to make my hair glossy!"
Shaking like a leaf, Regina abandoned Lord Robin Buren and ran as though hungry, howling hounds were chasing her.
Even as she slipped out the back of the hall and towards the room meant for refreshing young ladies, Regina was trying to find a way to understand, to put it together¡
She paused at the threshold to the door, her already stressed nerves sensing the looming presence behind her.
"Hello," said a strange man with watery blond hair and watery blue eyes, "you must be Lady Regina Sheridan."
Now this, Regina thought grimly, was a man who knew about inbreeding, if only by the shape of his chin.
"I am afraid," Regina said rather frostily, "that I do not have the pleasure of your acquaintance."
Something¡ unpleasant passed over the man''s face before he put on a very smarmy grin. "I imagine for a country miss like yourself, being in the more sophisticated Capital must be very¡ overwhelming. I have been trying to meet with you for some time to let you know that you can always refresh yourself with the lovely flowers in the garden that no doubt is more comfortable than the ballroom."
''Firstly'', Regina thought, barely keeping her eyebrow from quirking, ''this is the Sheridan manor that I live in so why would I need some watery blond to tell me about my own garden? Secondly, why would a watery blond who obviously thinks I am an idiot want to get me out into that garden?''
The man in front of her suddenly shifted and started muttering as if Regina was not even there. "Well if she is too lumpen to move that far, we can always get our cousin. No need to deal with country mice, although she would be the most useful."
Regina wondered if he thought she was deaf as well as stupid, but he was gone again before she could ask.
As she tried to put the pieces together, suddenly everything finally made sense.
With a slow deliberate stride, Regina walked to the back of the manor, opened the door and stepped out into the gardens that were so beautifully lit for her debutante party.
"Oh hello," said the very pretty, very shiny blond man frolicking in the flowers in the garden in front of her. "Are you here to see me?"
"By the blood," said Regina, hating the universe and everyone in it as she finally met the man of her dreams, "I think that I am."
Chapter 4: The Man of Her Dreams
After Regina announced that she was there to see the very shiny blond man, the man himself smiled at Regina¡ and Regina realized that she had problems.
She did not know then how deep and strange those problems would be.
Perhaps some part of her knew when the blond cocked his head and stared at her with the intensity of a man who had just had a revelation.
"You are," said the blond man, sounding strangely serious, "very lovely."
Regina, who hoped to subtly interrogate this frolicking dandelion to learn more about him and why he would not stop featuring in her dreams, was so taken aback that her words died in her throat.
Regina was not sure even her most beloved cousin had ever called her lovely.
(The best Henrietta ever managed was. ¡°At least you do not have shifty eyes like Cousin Carole. Your arms could use more muscle though. Have you ever considered carrying vases around with me?¡±)
Before Regina could ask if this blond man frolicked in such strange locations because his poor eyesight prevented him from realizing he was in public, he continued.
"Alas," said the delicate blond dandelion, "Your beautiful expression of disdain and confusion cannot be met with my smile of complete frivolity.¡±
¡°Huh?¡± was Regina¡¯s eloquent response.
¡°My lady,¡± the blond beauty gently said, ¡°your attempts to appear less exquisite are obvious. You are a truly virtuous person! I will attempt to conceal my attraction to you as well! After all, you are destined to be my glorious elder brother''s bride!"
That was when Regina¡¯s poor, overworked mind put together the blond man¡¯s mention of ¡®elder brother¡¯ with her dream of the ¡®second prince¡¯ and her recently acquired knowledge of the Alpin family to realize ¨C
"By the blood," said Regina in increasingly dawning horror, "You are Artem Alpin ¨C the second prince of the royal family¡ and the brother to Crown Prince Aaron!"
¡°Oh!¡± cried the very shiny brother of Regina¡¯s would-be-betrayer. ¡°Does that mean you truly fell in love with me at first sight, without knowing my identity?¡±
Regina¡¯s mouth fell open and shut several times as she tried to understand the current misunderstanding.
¡®Does this strange prince,¡¯ she asked herself with mounting fear, ¡®truly believe I fell in love with him as soon as we happened to meet?!¡¯
Though her question felt ridiculous, he apparently did if his expression, brighter than his many pieces of gaudy jewelry, meant anything.
"You need not be embarrassed by your ardor,¡± the blond ¨C Prince Artem Alpin! ¨C said, though he looked much shyer than he previously had.
Then, directing a shy look at her from beneath his long golden lashes, he added, ¡°Though I must know what about me beguiled you so. Was it my exquisite taste in accessories?"
Befuddled and unsure of how to respond, Regina took a long, hard stare at his row of baubles. The brooches were so bright that looking at them was akin to staring into the heart of the sun.
After wincing and turning away, Regina tried to answer in a way that would not give offense.
"Your accessories certainly are¡ unique," she finally stated, only to be stabbed by guilt when her words were met by another beaming smile from Prince Artem.
To soothe her conscience, Regina added, ¡°They are just as, erm, unique as you are. After all, I do not know many people like you¡ People who are so... into..."
Prince Artem gave her a curious, eager look beneath his long lashes that almost reminded her of a puppy ¨C
A very, very pretty puppy.
"Frolicking," Regina said, and then hastily added, "Which, by the way, you do wonderfully!"
For a second, a strange expression passed over the face of the puppylike prince before he beamed even more brightly.
"So few people appreciate a good frolicking!" said Prince Artem brightly.
Then he hesitated for a moment before his gaze turned surprisingly soulful. He moved seamlessly from a joyfully frolicking puppy to looking like a puppy that had been denied its treat.
"Is that why you have sought a forbidden love with me instead of my elder brother?"
As Regina¡¯s mouth opened in shock, Artem began speaking more rapidly, obviously warming to the topic.
"Did you hear of my many public adventures where I show the extent of my frolicking abilities? Thus you too wished to leave behind the world of power and politics to gracefully dance like a dandelion seed blowing in the wind?¡±
¡®Well,¡¯ Regina thought in a distant daze, ¡®apparently blindness is not the reason that Artem Alpin frolicked in public fountains.¡¯
"Do not fear!" said Prince Artem, obviously taking her confused silence as agreement. "While I have never seen my brother Aaron frolic, I have every confidence that if you stare at him with contempt in those dazzling golden eyes and tell him he needs to dance for your attention, he will-"
Regina suddenly realized that if she did not do something, a death her visions had never predicted was going to arrive.
After all, even if Regina had not foreseen a heart attack induced from the stress of realizing her human fortune telling device believed she was in love with him despite her impending engagement to his brother¡
Well, Regina had a feeling her heart was willing to test whether or not Regina could foresee all her potential deaths.
With her poor heart in mind and after taking a deep breath, Regina tried to redirect the conversation.
"While I am... pleased beyond words to meet you," Regina honestly said, "I... I cannot speak more of my feelings for you."
(All of this was true - it was surprisingly difficult to tell a man that you dreamed of him as he frolicked through many bizarre times and places).
The sympathy and understanding in Artem¡¯s gentle gaze made guilt stab at Regina¡¯s soul once more.
"I understand," Artem replied gently. "Ours is a love that can never be. So may I offer you some advice, my lady?¡±
At Regina¡¯s hesitant nod, Artem went on to say, ¡°While I know you have already been dazzled by my nimble leaps, my brother Aaron also has much to offer! You should speak to him of your frolicking needs! He is very generous and very willing to provide for those around him!"
¡®The worst part of this,¡¯ thought Regina as she stared at Artem''s wide-eyed and eager face, ¡®is that Prince Artem means every word he is saying.¡¯
Someone this light in spirit, in presence and possibly in intelligence seemed like he should have been pruned out of the ruthless Alpin family tree long ago¡ unless he was simply pretending to be scatter-brained and silly.
Yet from everything she had seen in her dreams, Artem Alpin was exactly what he presented. Artem Alpin was a man who was kind and lively and joyous and somehow had not been murdered despite being second in line for the throne.
Yet how could this be? This... this delicate dandelion of a prince had the worst sense of self-preservation Regina had ever seen based on how he was willing to share sensitive information about the crown prince with a complete stranger during their first meeting.
What¡¯s more, Artem had not even asked how or why Regina would have learned about his frolicking to be attracted to it! After all, there were few or any places Artem had frolicked in her dreams that would have been appropriate for a young noble lady.
Yet Artem had assumed Regina had known of him from more than just rumors, despite her slip of the tongue when she had first seen him.
It all lent even more strength to the idea that Regina¡¯s dreams truly foretold the future¡
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In spite of this, Regina continued to hold onto a small sliver of hope that she had been mistaken and that somehow she had just heard of the strange Prince Artem and made up her dreams herself.
Thus, Regina resolved to ask some very pointed questions about Prince Artem¡¯s past frolics and to prove that this goldfish puppy could not truly be the man of her dreams!
"So," Regina said, with the delicate smoothness of an inbred shut-in who had never spoken to someone outside her family estate until this party, "I need to know everything I can about you. Exactly where did you frolic over the last few weeks?"
A strange expression passed over Prince Artem''s face once again before he smiled even more brightly.
"Do you need additional areas to frolic?¡± he cheerfully enquired. ¡°Mother tells me that young ladies are much more constrained when frolicking, so I would not recommend the harbor. The crates were very prone to shifting there."
Regina could not help but grab Prince Artem by the lapels, even though she knew she was courting death by lese-majesty. However Regina was so, so very tired and she needed to know if this dandelion nightmare was the one who was preventing her from sleeping.
"Yes!" she cried, as she remembered one of her earliest dreams of him frolicking near the harbor as a ship came into view. "I -- I absolutely love the harbor! I love crates! I love waves! I especially love ships and their very interesting names! In fact¡"
Smiling maniacally, she asked, "What is the name of the last ship you saw on your frolics, Prince Artem? Please share it with me!"
Regina barely noticed the way Prince Artem''s ears turned a delicate pink that spread down under his collar as she impatiently waited for her answer.
Fortunately, the dandelion prince seemed surprisingly eager to discuss many things related to the water.
¡°You are interested in nautical matters, my lady?¡± he chirped brightly. ¡°Well I am not sure why you are so interested in the Poopdeck Princess -¡±
Regina felt Prince Artem suddenly slip through her nerveless hands as she stumbled backwards.
That¡ that was not the name of the boat she had seen in her earlier vision of Prince Artem.
So had she really just imagined ¨C ?!
Yet her hands were suddenly full of Prince Artem''s collar again, as if he had magically slipped himself back into her grasp.
When he next spoke, his voice was surprisingly desperate.
"-But of course,¡± he cried, ¡°you are not referring to a rough dinghy! You would be most interested in a boat that provided some motion in the ocean ¨C such as the Prince''s Seaduction!"
Regina felt as if she was speaking from far away, her grip once again tightening on Prince Artem''s collar.
"Why," she asked, hearing her voice as if coming from a different plane, "do sailors make all the boats have rude references to royalty?"
¡Rude references to royalty that she had already seen in her dreams.
"Perhaps," said the dandelion prince, looking surprisingly hopeful for someone who could barely breathe, "because they too wish to frolic with me?"
Swallowing hard, Regina saw her chance at another question and grabbed it as she had grabbed her newfound prince.
"Who would not love to frolic" she desperately asked, "with you by their side? I would absolutely love to frolic through hills and valleys and also, incidentally, town centers where important news about public works are shared!"
Smiling frantically, Regina added, "Perhaps you have heard of important public works in your recent frolicking? I would love to know more if so!"
"Well," said Prince Artem, a visible moment of hesitation passing over his face, "perhaps this kind of frolicking conversation would be better had with my elder brother? Aaron does a very nice stiff-stepped hop when he is startled in public spaces-"
Regina tightened her grip, her eyes narrowing.
"Tell. Me. About. Public. Works."
Somewhere, in the back of her mind, Regina realized that she could lose everything she had worked so hard to build with her objectively insane behavior toward a bloody prince ¨C
But she could not stop herself.
Even stranger was that Artem, who flashed a very strange smile before he returned to his usual bright grin, did not seem willing to stop her either.
"Well," Artem said with remarkable cheer for a man being held by his lapels, "I did enjoy the recent declaration of the Lead and Circuses campaign where the La Belles sponsored circuses in the capital and everyone got a small commemorative lead toy for attending-"
Regina''s face fell.
"--But not as much as I enjoyed my own family''s promotion of Bread and Carcasses where the Alpins offered free bread to anyone who was willing to help bury the people who were not sufficiently productive¨C"
Regina said very softly, "--But only unproductive people who were, of course, already dead. That part was emphasized repeatedly."
"Of course it was," said Artem, just as softly.
Regina had seen that particular Alpin promotion in her dreams... but that was not the only public work where she had seen Artem frolicking.
Quietly, she added, "At the least, we can hope that no orphans find themselves in the ranks of unproductive Carcosans now that we have a new way to house parentless children."
Prince Artem smiled. ¡°Yes, there was a glorious opening for the new orphanage... built to celebrate my brother''s upcoming engagement."
Prince Artem had not moved ¨C was if anything even closer than previously ¨C but Regina felt strangely as if his sweet, enthusiastic smile was somehow challenging her.
"Nothing," Regina said firmly in response to that smile, "is done until the very end."
For a second, Prince Artem looked almost confused. "I¡ have never thought of it that way."
¡°Surprisingly few people do,¡± Regina said. ¡°Thankfully, I am the exception.¡±
Either way, Regina realized that she was probably creating more problems than she was solving with her interrogation tactics and let go of the prince''s lapels ¨C
Even if Prince Artem seemed to suspiciously sway towards her as she did.
¡®I can,¡¯ she wearily thought, ¡®confirm everything else in just a few more sentences.¡¯
After all, it was not as if she could avoid the truth any longer.
"You know," Regina said, her manic energy deserting her as an odd calm settled over her, "I have one last question."
She looked at Prince Artem from beneath her eyelashes, willing herself to act like the bosom-heaving women in Henrietta¡¯s romance novels if it would help her get her answers.
Unfortunately, Regina nearly forgot her question entirely when Prince Artem started a slowly forming blush. However, Regina had come too far to be distracted by pretty dandelion men.
¡°Prince Artem,¡± she asked breathily, ¡°do you ever follow¡ horse races?¡±
Unfortunately, instead of confirming her final vision, Prince Artem just looked at Regina¡ in complete bafflement.
"The stands of a horse race,¡± he slowly said as his tone grew more heated, ¡°are the opposite of an ideal place for frolicking! How could anyone frolic while pretending to care about tiny men riding around and screaming¡ and that is not even counting the jockeys!"
Regina did not even bother feeling confused or shaken.
She already understood what was about to happen.
"In spite of terrifying tiny men," said Regina calmly, "you went to a horse race recently, did you not?"
Artem frowned for a second before his face brightened.
¡°Well,¡± he cheerfully said, ¡°it was not exactly the race but that lovely green in the middle of the track that was so delightful for dancing and had all those lovely pink flowers with lacy interiors-"
"Who won?" Regina interrupted, intently staring the prince in the eyes. "Who won?"
Artem blinked, his throat bobbing as he swallowed, even as his gaze never left hers.
"Prince''s Charm," he softly stated.
Regina had to laugh harshly at that before she could speak once again.
"When," Regina said cynically, "does the prince not win?"
It appeared that she had finally met the very shiny blonde man of her literal dreams... and it would not help her in the least.
Too tired to pretend to be social, Regina murmured, ¡°Never mind. Who knows what this meeting even means? Maybe you just cast some strange magic to disrupt your elder brother¡¯s inheritance and I was caught in the middle.¡±
Yet any remaining cynicism she had about the prince¡¯s motives died when he surged forward to stand barely a breath from her, his own gaze suddenly burning.
"I would never," Prince Artem said in a voice so serious and sincere that it made the hairs on the back of Regina''s neck stand on end, "dream of challenging Aaron for his position. Whatever else you know of me, my lady, know that this is real.¡±
When Regina gazed into Prince Artem¡¯s serious but sincere blue eyes¡ Regina knew that no one could be that good of an actor.
So, ashamed of her unfair accusation towards a man who had done her no wrong besides showing up in her dreams, Regina mumbled an apology.
Prince Artem just shook his head in turn, looking both sorrowful and resigned.
¡°I should be the one to apologize,¡± he said, his voice so gentle and kind that Regina had to fight back tears. "After all, I know that you wish to frolic with me¡ but are upset that our joyful bounding can never be. I only wish I could help you without hurting my brother. Perhaps I can-¡±
Yet Regina would never know what Prince Artem intended to offer because they were interrupted by the sudden sound of a large number of rapidly approaching footsteps-
¡°So you thought,¡± said one of them with a large sneer, ¡°that you could get away with harassing the future bride of your elder brother?¡±
The goldfish had a surprisingly blank look on his face as Regina watched in horror as another-Regina was pulled out from the group of men.
Regina suddenly remembered why she had initially planned not to go out into the garden.
With strength she had not realized she possessed, Regina grabbed Prince Artem by the shoulders before throwing the poor man into the nearest hedge like a sack of potatoes¡
¡and dove right in after him.
Chapter 5: Bravery in the Bushes
There were, Regina realized as she crammed herself on top of Prince Artem in an ornamental bush, a lot of ways two bodies could fit together¡ and all of them seemed to be very uncomfortable.
Regina had not been this close to another person since her sister¡¯s death, but she was discovering that trying to find a way to stay within a hedge and not get jabbed by one of Prince Artem¡¯s sharp body parts was a more challenging exercise than she had expected.
¡°I am honored, my lady,¡± said Prince Artem, now a very becoming shade of pink, ¡°but even if I am also too enchanted by you to care about the consequences, perhaps we could join together somewhere other than a bush-¡±
¡°Be quiet,¡± said Regina.
Prince Artem was instantly quiet.
Regina precariously balanced herself above his surprisingly firm chest, barely daring to breathe as the footsteps grew louder and louder¡
¡and suddenly stopped.
Through the very thin veil of the neatly manicured bush, Regina could see some very expensive shoes, clustered mere feet from her face.
¡°Where is she?¡± said a very distinct whine that Regina recognized as the watery blond who had been trying to lure her out to the garden in the first place.
An annoyed low voice replied, ¡°Well you were the one who said that someone told you they had seen the country miss leave and you claimed she had fallen for your charms and obeyed you, even if belatedly. It appears Lady Regina obeys you just as well as your horse and dog.¡±
¡°You leave Honeypuff alone!¡± cried the watery blond. ¡°My valet was specifically marking the back exit and he knows better than to lie to me!¡±
¡°That is even worse for you,¡± said the low voice. ¡°We could have sent out Cousin Enid who would have done exactly what we needed if she knew what was good for her. You were the one who insisted that the stupid country girl would be fool enough to go smell the flowers near Artem and it was worth the risk to have him ¡®compromise¡¯ his brother¡¯s intended.¡±
¡°She was that foolish,¡± said the watery blond in distinct irritation. ¡°She did not even know how to enter a door! The only reason she was slow to exit was because she was too stupid to find the back entrance!¡±
Even in the midst of her dawning horror, Regina was rather impressed by the watery blond¡¯s level of self-confidence. She wished she could have spent her life convinced that everyone else in the world was too stupid to breathe. It would have saved her a great deal of stress.
Before she could process that thought, Regina involuntarily swallowed a gasp as the steps somehow drew even closer to the bush.
¡°Look you fool,¡± said the lower voice menacingly. ¡°Either this country idiot has vanished into thin air or she somehow warned that greater fool, Artem, and the two of them managed to escape past the sixteen servants we have stationed around every possible exit. Neither of which is possible!¡±
¡°However,¡± the voice continued, as the hairs on the back of Regina¡¯s neck started to stand on end, ¡°do you know what is possible?¡±
The man took another step and Regina realized that if she moved even slightly she would roll right onto his shoe.
¡°There is no unmarked exit,¡± the man continued slowly, almost musingly, ¡°but there are a lot of obscure¡ corners in this garden where two fools might attempt to hide¡ and if dear Cousin Artem has found a little nook to conceal himself and a very foolish lady¡ Well, that is exactly the kind of compromise we are looking for anyway, is it not?¡±
While Regina knew she was an inbred shut-in with little knowledge of the wider world, she was unfortunately well acquainted with the notion of family that would murder you as soon as it became expedient.
As she carefully looked down at Prince Artem, the resigned look on his face showed that he seemed to know it also.
¡®I suspect,¡¯ Regina grimly realized, ¡®that these ¡®cousins¡¯ of Prince Artem are the non-royal Alpins who wish to disgrace him for political reasons¡ and want me to be their tool. Yet I will be damned if I let that happen, especially when my own family will destroy me for getting caught up in an Alpin conspiracy!
¡®Yet what am I supposed to do?¡¯ Regina frantically wondered as she heard more probable Alpin ¡®cousins¡¯ begin to enter the clearing, bickering with one another as they began to investigate the garden. ¡®Neither the prince nor I can defeat all these people and the exits are all guarded. Yet if all we do is sit in this hedge, they will find us eventually. How can I get out of this mess?!¡¯
That was Prince Artem minutely shifted and one of the glittering brooches on his chest caught the sparse light¡ and gave Regina an idea.
After all, even Regina knew that the royal Alpin family were renowned for their ability to use metallurgic magic to shape and even create metal as they liked. In other words, they could move and summon metal at will.
So what if Regina could use Artem¡¯s ability to create and manipulate jewelry to save their hides¡?
Since Regina knew she could not speak without alerting all the lesser Alpins who might be near, she instead grabbed at the shiny brooch on Artem¡¯s chest, biting back a hiss as she felt it slightly tear into her skin.
Prince Artem¡¯s eyes went wide and then, to her confusion, he puckered his lips up as if he were anticipating a slice of lemon cake.
Though she sympathized with his hunger pangs - after all, Regina had spent the day fueled by nothing more than the white of an egg and sheer fear, Regina responded by yanking off his strangely sharp brooch¡
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Then as carefully as she could, Regina began to mime what she wanted him to do while mouthing her words to him.
¡®I want you,¡¯ she told him through exaggerated lip movements and much smaller hand gestures, ¡®to send your brooches over to some of our pursuers so that they seem to have caught you. If your other ¡®relatives¡¯ believe that you are already caught but their ¡®cousins¡¯ will not share you with them¡¡¯
There was something that seemed almost to burn in Prince Artem¡¯s eyes as Regina drew a line across her neck.
¡®They will turn on each other¡ leaving us to make our escape.¡¯
Regina had never previously tried to explain something to someone by mouthing and wiggling her fingers, so she was a little concerned that Prince Artem would misinterpret her and do something that would get them both in trouble.
In fact, even with what she had asked for, a brooch flying through the air would be instantly visible to the mass of apparent Alpins outside, who all seemed to be muttering darkly about ¡®Cousin Artem¡¯.
Regina had never previously wondered if someone else could have as bad a relationship with their family as she did, but before she could feel too much sympathy for Prince Artem, he flicked his wrist in a surprisingly confident gesture and the brooch started to¡ scuttle across the ground, slowly and almost imperceptibly.
He even appeared to have done something to keep it from shining in the already lowered evening light and Regina watched with bated breath as it reached a pair of shoes and then started nimbly proceeding up the leg.
It was soon out of sight, but less than a handful of seconds later a familiar deeper, menacing voice said ¡°Ouch! Which of you fools tried to prick me?¡±
¡°Prick you?¡± said the watery blond, ¡°What are you-¡±
There was a sudden ominous silence.
¡°Oh I see,¡± said the watery blond, suddenly sounding less whiny and more menacing. ¡°I see!¡±
¡°You see what?¡± said the deeper voice, still sounding annoyed.
¡°You think I am too great a fool to realize your game?¡± said the watery blond. ¡°To not realize that you plan to take the credit for discrediting Cousin Artem and thus put yourself as the best candidate to move into the direct line for the throne?¡±
¡°How-¡± said the deeper voice in what seemed like genuine shock, as a murmur of Alpins rose around him.
¡°You did not conceal Artem¡¯s brooch in your pocket well enough, cousin,¡± said the watery blond. ¡°I do not know where you have stored him with that girl to ¡®discover¡¯ them yourself once you have sent the rest of us on a wild goose chase, but I at least will no longer be fooled!¡±
Regina¡¯s eyes widened as she realized that Prince Artem had not only implemented her plan, but done it in the most effective way possible.
¡°What?¡± said the lower-voiced man, interrupting Regina¡¯s thoughts. ¡°What are you talking about?¡±
There was a brief rustling noise and a sudden savage yell.
¡°You fools,¡± said the lower-voiced man. ¡°I have never touched one of Artem¡¯s brooches. This means that Artem is close by, watching us. He is trying to make us fight one another so he can escape! If we move now, we might quickly surround him and the girl!¡±
To Regina¡¯s horror, she started to see a distinct body shape start to loom over the bush, almost within sight range of the face and she started to pull even closer to Artem, prepared to scratch out that Alpin monster¡¯s eyes if necessary when-
-the body suddenly disappeared.
¡°Do you think,¡± said the watery blond, a strange menace added to his whine, ¡°that we will let you fool us once more?¡±
There was a muttering of agreement around him and Regina held her breath as the feet started moving.
¡°Come cousins,¡± said the watery blond, ¡°let us take our dear cousin away from this place and see what other ways he has betrayed us. Cousin Artem can wait for another night.¡±
Just as Regina thought she could breathe again, suddenly the dark shape was right over top of the bush once more, looking directly down at her.
¡°I will not be held back by you fools,¡± said the wild-eyed face above her, so close that Regina knew he would notice her within seconds. ¡°We have spent months looking for an opportunity and I will not let you destroy it.¡±
As he started to reach into the bush, Regina braced herself --
Only to be shocked when there was a brief flash of light and the man above her stiffened and fell backwards.
¡°Another brooch,¡± said the sneering watery-eyed blond. ¡°You cannot even make your own, so your greed meant that you could not hide your treachery. Now, you even pretend to have fainted, you traitor. You just spared us the effort of trying to determine how to sneak you out of the party. We will just tell them that you were in your cups¡ Let us see if you ever get out of them again!¡±
With that, there was the sound of people hoisting the body and the footsteps retreated from the garden.
~???~
For quite a while after the Alpin ''cousins'' left, Regina lay in the bushes, still dazed.
¡°Er¡,¡± said a very soft, hesitant voice below her. ¡°Perhaps we could, um¡ find a place to embrace where there is not a large stick poking in my back?¡±
¡°Oh you have one poking you too?¡± said Regina absentmindedly, only to be surprised by the fact that Prince Artem could somehow turn even more pink. ¡°Well, I suppose that is better than the other things I could be poked with¡ although I do wonder how you managed to get a stick on top of you that could poke me .¡±
Prince Artem¡¯s blush was suddenly incandescent, so much so that Regina was halfway afraid he would become like his scapegoat ¡®cousin¡¯ and ¡®faint.¡¯
Deciding she had had enough trouble for the night and deciding that the gardens were finally Alpin-cousin-free, Regina sighed and began creeping out of the hedges carefully.
By the time she was done, her beautiful white dress was covered in enough dirt to disgrace the expensive lace that her father must have agonized over purchasing.
¡°I wonder,¡± Regina dryly said after she poked her fingers through a gaping hole in her dress, ¡°if I can send that watery-eyed cousin of yours a notice that he needs to repay me for my trauma and pain, as well as my poor sleeves.¡±
Yet even as Regina sat covered in leaves, dirt, and small things that she did not want to examine too closely, she realized something.
She realized she did not want to die, even if it meant crawling into hedges for the rest of her life.
Yet before Regina could formulate any sort of plan for survival... she found the prince kneeling before her and clasping her hands in his own.
"You are my savior!" said Prince Artem, showing an... understanding of the situation that Regina was not expecting without a several hour explanation, probably with diagrams.
¡°Uhm,¡± Regina said before she snapped to her senses and added, ¡°I mean ¨C yes! Obviously!¡±
¡°Yes,¡± Prince Artem joyously cried, ¡°for you have helped me escape yet another of Cousin Randolph¡¯s boring entrapments! In fact, this is the first time someone has ever tried to entangle their body with mine to avoid entrapping me!"
Before Regina could even begin to make sense of his words, Prince Artem continued with a presence that somehow sparkled even more than it had been before the attempted entrapment.
"Your rescue was just like when Mother saved Father, minus the snake and the knives and with many added leaves! This¡ this means you truly do love me!¡±
Unsure of what to do, Regina just shuffled awkwardly.
¡°You need say no more,¡± Prince Artem responded. ¡°I know it is difficult to speak openly of such passionate feelings. But my lady¡¡±
Prince Artem pressed a tender kiss to Regina¡¯s fingers that sent a spark through the rest of body.
¡°You are brilliant and amazing and I have never been wooed before but it is just as amazing as Father said it would be and I cannot possibly begin to repay you unless-"
That was when Regina discovered the answer to all her problems.
"Unless," said Regina, slowly smiling at the man gazing soulfully at her, "I tell you just what kind of payment I need."
Chapter 6: Warranted Skepticism
¡°Thank you,¡± Regina said to her parents, ¡°for granting me a most magical evening.¡±
Both of her parents looked at her with a skepticism that felt richly deserved¡
¡especially since Regina had snuck into their parlor for a talk after she had crawled through half their townhouse hedges and then vanished upstairs before anyone could see her.
¡°I am glad to hear that, Regina,¡± her mother said dryly. ¡°I did not think your actions tonight meant you were thrilled by everything that happened¡¡±
¡°Especially since you disappeared partway through the night,¡± her father snapped. ¡°Regina, what happened to you? Why did you flee from the party?! Did you not know that it cost ¨C¡±
Regina wryly thought the party would have been much more expensive if anyone had caught her in her torn dress before she had snuck back to her room to change into something less tattered.
Yet before Regina¡¯s father could begin elaborating on the costs for the party ¨C which Regina would not be surprised to include his immortal soul, based on how much gold and crystal had been applied to every surface ¨C Regina interrupted.
¡°Whatever it cost,¡± Regina brightly said, ¡°I am deeply honored you chose to pay it because it is thanks to both of you that I have met¡¡±
She had to close her eyes before she said the last part, in an attempt to shield herself from embarrassment.
¡°...The love of my life!¡±
There was a deafening silence for a minute before Regina¡¯s mother quietly asked her father, ¡°Did our daughter find the ¡®special¡¯ punchbowl tonight?¡±
Before her worried father could answer, Regina shook her head and hurried forward.
¡°No,¡± Regina bravely said. ¡°I had just one glass of champagne. I am not in my cups ¨C unless you consider the cups of the ecstasy of love!¡±
¡°By the blood,¡± her father cursed. ¡°I knew we should have kept a closer eye on her!¡±
¡°Listen to me!¡± Regina cried, raising her voice at her parents in a way she would not normally dare, save for a dire emergency. ¡°I met a wonderful man at the party tonight and had a revelation¡ one with which you will be most pleased!¡±
¡°We did not raise you to have revelations,¡± her mother said, although Regina was surprised to see that her mother seemed to be shifting between an odd combination of amusement and concern.
¡°I know you want me to marry the Crown Prince of Carcosa,¡± Regina continued, taking advantage of the fact that neither of her parents were yet attempting to murder her. ¡°However ultimately, I do not believe such a path would suit me.¡±
¡°Why not?¡± her father asked, his forehead furrowing in a way that made Regina concerned he was going to declare her a deviant account and destroy her.
¡°Because I am an inbred shut-in who can barely string together two sentences in public before wanting to flee into the night,¡± Regina snapped, more honest with her parents than she had been for the entire rest of her life. ¡°Do you think a woman who can barely handle a simple party should come anywhere near being queen?¡±
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The sudden, if unflattering, silence from her parents gave Regina more hope than she had felt for years.
¡°I assume,¡± said her mother finally, in a tone of voice Regina could not recognize, ¡°that you have more to say than just speaking of your own worst qualities.¡±
Regina barely avoided rolling her eyes at the idea that she would concede weakness without offering an even better alternative in return.
¡°I have not just met the love of my life,¡± Regina said, ¡°I also learned some critical information about Crown Prince Aaron Alpin during this party.¡±
She took a deep breath, thrilled that both her parents were actually listening and wishing that it had not taken her imminent death to find a way to speak with them.
¡°After meeting a¡ certain someone close to the Crown Prince,¡± Regina stated, ¡°I have learned he is a very calm, intelligent, and ruthless person. Does the Crown Prince seem like someone whose ear I could bend for the sake of our family?¡±
The looks her parents exchanged made it clear that they were suddenly realizing how insane that expectation was.
¡°Yet you need to marry,¡± her mother said at last, looking strangely desperate, ¡°and you need to marry a prince! The elders have already determined that you will be Carcosa¡¯s next queen! If you do not manage to do what the elders want you to¡¡±
Regina closed her eyes.
She knew just what might happen to her if she ended up making her family¡¯s elders unhappy.
She was trapped between the rock of the Sheridans and the hard place of the Alpins.
¡So it was a damned good thing that she was determined to dig her way to safety.
¡°I may not be Carcosa¡¯s next queen,¡± Regina calmly replied, ¡°but perhaps the elders would be happy if I still became a member of the Alpin royal family¡ and the potential grandparent of another king or queen.¡±
Clearly shocked, her father asked, ¡°What do you mean?¡±
¡°There is more than one prince,¡± Regina pointed out, ¡°though the second one is¡ not as well known as Crown Prince Aaron. Still, I met the second prince tonight and he is a very¡ gentle person, very unlike his brother. He is kind and tender-hearted and very easy to¡¡±
Regina trailed off, watching as her parents¡¯ expressions went from confusion to understanding.
¡°The love of your life, hmmm?¡± said her mother after a moment, pulling out a knife to twist between her fingers.
¡°Tender-hearted, huh?¡± added her father, narrowing his hazel-gold eyes.
¡°Absolutely,¡± Regina said, with a tremulous smile as the last few pieces of her plan began to fit together. ¡°Kind¡ tender-hearted¡ and very easy to influence, no matter how poor my socialization might be.¡±
There was another long silence as her parents stared at each other and then at Regina, their gaze so intense that it was a wonder Regina did not start burning.
After what felt like hours, they both suddenly smiled and Regina released a breath she did not even know she was holding.
¡°The second prince,¡± Regina¡¯s mother said after a moment, flipping her knife into the air and catching it smoothly between her fingers. ¡°What is his name again?¡±
¡°Artem,¡± Regina said, the smile on her face genuine at last. ¡°His name is Prince Artem Alpin and he is the love of my life¡¡±
As her parents leaned in with calculated attention, Regina realized that Henrietta¡¯s romance novels were an accurate depiction of the world.
After all, apparently you could end all conflicts and contact with your terrible family¡ just by getting married.
¡®Just you wait, Artem Alpin,¡¯ thought Regina. ¡®Once those wedding vows are read, you and I will never see any of these people ever again.¡¯
Unfortunately for Regina, while romance novels were of some use, it was soon going to become obvious that she should have spent her time reading military strategies.
Chapter 7: Moonlight Serenade
Lady Regina Sheridan spent the night before her official engagement to Prince Artem Alpin trying not to get murdered.
In retrospect, Regina decided that it had been sheer madness on her part to believe that life would give her a reprieve from lurking assassins simply because she changed the man she would marry.
After all, though she should have become a less attractive target for murder once she went from being the future wife of the Crown Prince to the future wife of a second prince that everyone agreed was a sweet idiot¡
Regina closed her eyes and groaned.
¡When had life ever handed her that kind of easy victory?
Even so, she had spent the first few weeks after she had met Artem in an almost optimistic daze ¨C one where she was continually amazed by how simple her life suddenly became. Once her parents had apparently convinced the Sheridan elders that Regina should be matched to Artem rather than his more powerful brother ¨C
(¡°It was surprisingly easy,¡± Regina¡¯s mother had mused while tossing her knife in the air. ¡°After seeing you at your coming out party, even the elders agreed that you have the social skills of a dying seagull and would make us a laughing stock if you became queen.¡±
¡°Thank you, mother,¡± Regina replied, trying to hold onto her last shred of dignity.
¡°Still, the second prince is such a simpleton even you can twist him around your little finger,¡± Regina¡¯s father added, ¡°which hopefully makes up for your revised dowry costing us another two years of earnings.¡±
¡°I truly thank you both for your support,¡± Regina said ¨C and meant it even if their words did sting).
Thus, Regina¡¯s flowery path to happiness seemed set, as even Artem¡¯s awful cousins now seemed to be keeping their distance.
In fact, that last part about Regina¡¯s flowery path was not even a metaphor! After their engagement had been set, Artem had actually sent Regina a small carpet that had been embedded with dozens of exquisite golden roses that he had crafted with his own metallurgic magic, alongside a note that said, ¡°May my future bride always step on roses by my side.¡±
Henrietta had whistled when she saw the beautiful present Regina had received, the first of many from Artem in the last few weeks, and asked, ¡°What did you do to this man to make him so moonstruck over you?¡±
Regina mentally reviewed her first meeting with Artem, in which she had saved him from his cousin using her cunning and ability to blend in with the bushes, and said, ¡°I will tell you when it comes time for you to be married.¡±
Henrietta stopped asking about Artem after that, no matter what extravagant presents he sent every day in the course of his wooing.
Unfortunately, life after her engagement did not exclusively consist of opening presents that Regina¡¯s handsome and wealthy royal fiance sent to her. Regina did not even get to see Artem very often, much to his dismay, because her days were taken up with memorizing the entire history of Carcosa from the very day of its founding.
¡°Remember,¡± her father sternly lectured her while Regina tried not to die of boredom, ¡°that as a member of the royal family, you must know the alliances and abilities of every notable noble family in Carcosan society.¡±
¡°Oh yes,¡± her mother added while smirking. ¡°Blood forbid you forget the high-and-mighty Duke of Neville can grow some trees, while his Buren lackeys are in charge of the birds and the bees ¨C¡±
¡°The ducal Burens are known for their ability to grow beautiful and medicinal flowers,¡± her father snapped, ¡°and their long-standing alliance with their fellow plant-mages of the Neville Duchy has brought both families acclaim, protection, and some of the most fertile territory in Carcosa. Our family would be lucky to have half their blessings!¡±
¡°I would love to have the blessings of any family but my own,¡± her mother returned dryly.
Then, taking a glance at a worried Regina, her mother sighed and said, ¡°Regina, you do need to study up on all the noble arse-lickers you are about to be surrounded by. The Nevilles can grow trees and bushes, the Burens raise up pretty flowers, the Kuzeys play with water and are the strangest bastards ever, the Poissons can capture and freeze fish and will never let you forget it, the La Belles enchant people with their prettiness, and the Alpins ¨C¡±
¡°I know what the Alpins can do,¡± Regina said, remembering Artem¡¯s scuttling brooch from their first meeting. ¡°They can shape and even conjure metal to do as they please.¡±
¡°Do not underestimate the Alpins¡¯ abilities,¡± her father sternly replied. ¡°All you have seen is the baubles your little prince made. However, as lucrative as his works are, they are nothing to the power of his other family. In his youth, King Alan Alpin could have decimated a legion of enemy soldiers by sending their own blades through their throats, while Crown Prince Aaron¡¡±
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¡°Yes?¡± Regina asked, suddenly interested in boring lectures about noble families.
Yet that hope was crushed when her father irritably said, ¡°Never mind. I do not want you to be so awed by Prince Aaron¡¯s powers that you change your mind again about which prince should be your groom. Do you want to know exactly how much gold it cost to get the Alpins to change your engagement?¡±
Since Regina had no interest in being harangued for saving her life, she fled.
Still, though she would never tell her parents, she had seen Artem¡¯s ability to work metal in both real life and her dreams.
Every night, she saw a vision of Artem frolicking amidst flowers and creating pretty baubles for her, and Regina could only thank fate that none of those visions contained scenes of her being condemned or killed in a suspicious ¡®accident¡¯.
Therefore, the night before the day of her official engagement to Artem, Regina had expected to receive a vision of him creating a new present for her with his metallurgic magic.
In fact, she had been charmed to see him carefully package his newest gift ¨C a bouquet of golden roses large enough to defend oneself against a horde of attackers.
¡°You,¡± Regina had told Artem with admiration she was too flustered to admit to in person, ¡°are probably better than I deserve but I promise I will repay your kindness to me. Once we are wed, I am going to hire the fastest coach I can to bring us to the farthest country estate I can find.¡±
Smiling as she saw Artem put the finishing touches of several precious gems on her roses, Regina added, ¡°We will be away from this madness soon and then you can frolic amongst real flowers without anyone saying you are stupid or silly!¡±
(If there was one thing that enraged Regina, it was seeing people sneer at Artem ¨C sometimes to his face. Although Artem himself did not seem to mind or notice their disrespect, Regina always got upset on his behalf. It was so needlessly cruel to sneer at sweet, harmless Artem, as much as it would be to kick a puppy through one of the Alpins¡¯ many gold-framed windows.)
However, Regina did get alarmed when Artem took his present and instead of handing it off to his butler for delivery¡
¡Carried it to a carriage that he then boarded to take a ride through the Capital¡¯s cobblestone streets¡
¡Before ending up at the gates of the Sheridan townhouse where Regina and her family were staying.
¡°Er,¡± Regina said as she saw Artem gaze cheerily at the imposing locks barring entry into the Sheridan residence. ¡°You could always leave that package at the foot of the gates, Artem. A guard will pick it up and deliver it to me eventually. You do not actually need to ¨C¡±
That was when Regina discovered that Artem could use his brooches as lockpicks to shimmy open locks that would otherwise take a very specialized set of keys.
¡°Oh,¡± Regina said in admiration as she watched Artem excitedly wiggle in through the newly opened gates. ¡°You know, you would make for an amazing thief¡ though your habit of whistling and doing little jigs as you work might make that an impossible career.¡±
Even so, Regina watched with mounting admiration as Artem managed to stealthily whistle-jig his way to the Sheridan residence, expertly dodging the patrolling guards and then make his way to her balcony.
¡°Still,¡± she told him, ¡°though you have come far, flight is not a power your family possesses ¨C that would be the now-extinct House Corvidae¡¯s specialty. So surely you will need to stop ¨C¡±
That was when Regina learned that while Artem could not slaughter a legion of enemies as his father did in his prime, he could make his way up to her balcony by turning his jewelry into climbing clamps for his hands and feet.
¡°Oh my,¡± Regina said, blinking hard as her ghostlike dream-self slowly floated up to watch Artem make his way towards her room, his body writhing in some¡ interesting ways as he did so. ¡°Those romance novels were right. The size of the ship is not all that matters. Sometimes it is about the motion of the ocean!¡±
In any case, Regina kept watching Artem make his way up to her balcony¡ and suddenly felt a flush of heat against her cheeks as she wondered if that meant that he¡ he wanted to¡
¡°I suppose,¡± Regina slowly said, ¡°that I would not be averse to a little¡ intimacy before we wed, since we still have to wait six months from the engagement to the wedding. In fact, I have been reading quite a few romance novels in preparation and¡ well¡¡±
Regina shyly smiled as she watched the motion of Artem¡¯s ocean as he finally leapt over her balcony and came to her window that had been left open to let in the cool summer breeze.
¡°You,¡± she admitted, ¡°are about the most kind and beautiful boy I have ever met. I would not mind getting to know you better even before the wedding!¡±
Unfortunately for Regina, it turned out that while Artem was many things such as beautiful, generous, kind, and optimistic¡ he was not exactly discreet.
In fact, Regina had to wince as she saw Artem stop at the foot of her bed and, instead of gently rousing her so they could share a late night conversation and their first embrace¡
He pulled out a note from his jacket pocket and began¡
Singing.
¡°You know,¡± Regina said, after watching Artem soulfully serenade her in a lovely tenor that managed to rhyme Regina and my queen-a several times, ¡°I think I will make it a point to be awake before he starts the singing before tomorrow night. Perhaps I can even get a few kisses and a chance to revise that lyric sheet.¡±
That made Regina wonder why her other self had not woken up yet, given the unmissable sound of Artem¡¯s song.
As a sudden chill descended down her spine, Regina felt an overwhelming burst of dread spread over her.
Breath caught in her throat, she moved closer to the bed looking down at her own face¡
¡and realized that the Regina in the bed was as still and pale as¡
¡death.
Slowly, numbly, Regina turned to stare at the still oblivious Artem and realized something even more horrifying.
The dead Regina was not yet rigid and could pass for living if you were not close enough to realize the truth.
That meant that she had been killed very recently and¡
¡Regina swung towards the shadows and swallowed a gasp at the very faint movement coming from the darkest corner.
Apparently, Regina was going to be murdered the night before her engagement, shortly before her fianc¨¦ came to serenade her-
¨CAnd her assassin was still lurking in the shadows, watching poor, helpless Artem sing to his never-bride¡¯s corpse.
Chapter 8: Surviving through Celebration
On that happy note, Regina woke up and instinctively stuffed a pillow in her mouth before she shrieked in rage.
When she finally had her fill of incoherent anger at the universe, she leapt out of bed and furiously paced around as she tried to understand what she had just experienced.
¡°I am still being targeted,¡± Regina said through gritted teeth, ¡°though there is no logical reason I should be! I thought if I married Artem, someone that absolutely no one thinks of as a future king, I would be safe. I am lucky that my family decided that Artem is useful enough to be a stepping stone to greater power¡ but I am still not the Crown Princess or future queen! So why¡¡±
Regina closed her eyes and remembered how still her other-self looked for the moment that she was able to see her¡ her corpse .
¡°So why is someone still trying to kill me ?¡±
Shuddering for a moment before she forced herself to stop, Regina tried to think of possible reasons.
¡°I may be a socially inept shut-in,¡± she said, bluntly facing the truth, ¡°but I have not been in the Capital long enough to personally offend anyone to the point where they would wish to murder me. Romance novels would say that it might be some female rival out to destroy me because I won Artem¡¯s heart but¡¡±
Despite the situation, Regina had to laugh.
¡°That would just be silly . I wish my enemies were so simple and easy to determine!¡±
Sobering, she admitted, ¡°So this assassin is not after me for personal reasons¡ which means that they or their masters wish to eliminate me for political ones. Perhaps¡¡±
Regina¡¯s eyes closed as a new headache began to bloom.
¡°Perhaps it is less about me than the man I am to marry. After all, even after disengaging myself from Crown Prince Aaron, I engaged myself to his brother Artem. Maybe¡
She shuddered as she remembered how she and Artem had almost been captured by his loving ¡®cousins¡¯ at her own debutante ball.
¡°Maybe someone does not want to see either prince get married.¡±
If that was the case¡ that meant that in Regina¡¯s first vision of her doomed engagement to Crown Prince Aaron, she may have been framed in order to deprive him of a bride.
This would mean that in her second engagement to Prince Artem, her assassin meant to kill her¡ and then frame Artem for murdering her in order to now deprive Artem of a bride!
Of course, that was assuming Artem was not the real target of this assassination attempt¡ though if he was, the assassin had to be very cautious. Royal princes can and did get murdered. ¨C in fact, Aaron and Artem¡¯s two elder brothers had been killed in a messy battle for the throne several years back.
However, the consequences of such a grave crime would be¡ severe and any party found to be connected to a royal murder would be killed ¨C with their family likely dying as well.
So if someone wanted to take Artem out of the line of succession, it would be much easier to kill Regina and frame Artem for it than to murder Artem himself.
¡°Yet who would believe Artem would kill me?¡± Regina wondered. ¡°The man is as sweet and harmless as a puppy! So why would anyone believe Artem could manage to murder anyone in the first place?!¡±
However, Regina knew that no matter how sweet and well-meaning Artem was, it would be hard to explain how he appeared in her bedroom on the night she suddenly died in her sleep.
That kind of ¡®coincidence¡¯ seemed about as purposeful as Regina¡¯s ¡®carriage accident¡¯... and the mere implication that Artem was involved in Regina¡¯s death would destroy his future.
If the Alpins did not have Artem quietly killed for being a disgrace, he would probably be exiled to the frozen north. She could not imagine poor Artem lasting long if he had to deal with overgrown monsters, angry native Northerners and ¨C worst of all ¨C Kuzeys !
Yet if Regina¡¯s would-be assassin wished to kill her in order to harm Artem¡¯s reputation, Regina would not allow that to happen .
¡°After all,¡± Regina angrily muttered, ¡°Artem is my window into the future and my only hope of survival! I need him to stay alive so I can see what might next happen to me!¡±
Then, feeling embarrassed by her own selfishness, Regina added, ¡°Besides, Artem has been so kind to me. I may not know him well yet but I cannot think of another man I would rather marry!¡±
Indeed, though some people clearly pitied Regina for being engaged to a ¡®hapless fool¡¯ of a prince, Regina could think of far worse fates.
After all, Artem was as kind as he was pretty and he even seemed genuinely excited to marry her. She witnessed his good nature every night in her dreams¡ and she did not mind a husband who was prone to a solid frolic so long as he did not also gamble, drink to excess, smoke, or seek intimacy with other ladies.
¡°Besides,¡± Regina muttered, ¡°I may¡ care for Artem already. I can only think well of a man who wants to serenade me, no matter how terrible his lyrics might be. He does not deserve to be harmed through my assassination!¡±
Indeed, the thought of anyone harming poor, innocent Artem, whose only sin seemed to consist of being a part of the Alpin family, enraged Regina.
Taking a deep breath and slightly concerned by the strength of her anger, Regina refocused herself on the immediate problem.
¡°Anyway,¡± she added on a more pragmatic note, ¡°I have to keep Artem alive so we can marry and flee the Capital. There can be no other groom for me. My family would never allow me to descend from an Alpin prince to a lesser noble, unless perhaps it was to a Duke. But the Dukes of Neville and Buren are middle-aged married men and their heirs are engaged to other noblewomen. Duke Kuzey may still be young, handsome, and unmarried, but he¡¡±
Regina had a sudden flashback to that long-white-haired Duke muttering about feet fish and declared, ¡°No. Not even if the Duke of the North begged me to marry him on his hands and knees .¡±
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Besides, Regina wanted to leave her murderous family in order to live a quiet, peaceful life in a countryside manor where the biggest menaces she faced were some angry geese or rampant aromatic cheese.
If she left her family to go frolic in the frozen North with a new husband who enjoyed muttering about monsters while quelling the constant rebellions of the native Northerners who had previously lived there before Carcosa conquered their lands¡
¡Regina might as well let the assassin do their work and save herself trouble in the end.
¡°No,¡± Regina admitted, ¡°for better or worse, I am yoked to Artem, so I have to keep us both safe! I need to stay alive so that Artem cannot be framed for my murder and thus disgraced. But¡¡±
She pressed her hands against her head in frustration.
¡°How can I save us both when an assassin is lurking and my visions of the future are useless to identify them ?!¡±
Suddenly, Regina¡¯s eyes widened in realization and she realized just what the night her would-be death and Artem¡¯s disgrace could bring¡
¡if Regina took her potential death scene as an opportunity rather than a problem.
~???~
That night, when Prince Artem made his way to the Sheridan town house to serenade his future bride, he did not have the chance to make his way to Regina¡¯s bedroom.
He did not even have time to break open the locks to the Sheridan gate before Regina wrenched open the already unlocked gate with strength blessed by a frantic desire to stay alive.
Dizzy with relief, she almost hurled herself into his arms¡
¡before she remembered that she had a large crowd of family and visiting nobles behind her and stepped back demurely.
Instead, she tried to convey her eagerness to see Artem before an assassin killed her by saying, ¡°Prince Artem! Just as you promised, you have come to see me and my family!¡±
Artem¡¯s beautiful blue eyes widened as he said, ¡°Pardon me?¡±
¡°You are pardoned,¡± Regina briskly said, even as she threaded her arm through his, causing a pretty blush to play across his cheeks, ¡°from having to be too modest ! After all, everyone knows ¨C¡± (because she had told them) ¡°-that you planned this entire evening of festivities!¡±
¡°I did?¡± Artem said, looking torn between being pleased and confused, even as he stared at the enormous crowd of people suddenly flocking around him. ¡°But I just came here to seren¨C¡±
¡°Serenely pass out your beautiful gifts to everyone here to show how excited you are for the joining of our families,¡± Regina chirped with a smile she hoped looked merry instead of manic. ¡°So I am doing my part to realize your dreams!¡±
While Artem continued looking confused, Regina turned to her family and the large ensemble of visiting nobles they had gathered, along with the delegation of grim-faced Alpin retainers meant to ensure the Sheridans were acting in a way worthy of royalty.
¡°Why should we wait until the day of the engagement party to show off how much you value your newfound in-laws?¡± Regina said sweetly to Artem and everyone watching. ¡°No, my beloved Artem wishes to declare to everyone that he is proud of our impending marriage¡ and his alliance with House Sheridan. So he came to our Sheridan town house the night before our engagement to demonstrate his commitment and greet and share his devotion with every witness here!¡±
This was an absurd lie. Obviously, poor Artem had not planned anything outside of a serenade accompanied by a kiss or embrace.
Yet Regina was perfectly willing to twist the truth. After all, if sweet Artem was willing to create a grand romantic gesture the night before their engagement party, why should she not redirect that gesture in a way that kept them both safe?
Therefore, before he had arrived, she told her parents that her dear, sweet Artem was coming to pay the Sheridans a midnight visit right before the engagement party to showcase just how deeply he cared for his new in-laws.
While her parents had been less than thrilled at first¡
(¡°What the hell is wrong with that damn prince,¡± was the first thing Regina¡¯s mother said after she spoke to her parents about Artem¡¯s visit¡ and it did not sound like a question.)
¡Regina had gotten them to agree to turn Artem¡¯s visit into a party.
After all, the Sheridans were already hosting a group of his family¡¯s rigid and humorless retainers in their town house that night to make sure all went well for the engagement ceremony the next day.
So what was one more guest?
Deciding that safety lay in numbers, Regina had even persuaded her parents to invite every bloody noble they could find so that those nobles could witness the strength of the new Sheridan-Alpin alliance.
Regina¡¯s winning argument had been, ¡°No matter what people think of my sweet Artem, there are only two princes in all of Carcosa¡ and I am marrying one of them. So why should we Sheridans not display our grand prize, especially when his actions tonight will show that he will do anything to cement the ties between our two families?¡±
That had been the perfect piece of persuasion to get her family to agree to host an impromptu midnight pre-engagement soiree¡ which was why Regina was now dragging poor Artem from one group of nobles to another, greeting and flattering each of the visitors.
After all, Regina grimly decided, the more witnesses she and Artem had around them tonight, the more impossible it would be for an assassin to strike.
That was worth forcing a smile on her face as yet another haughty noble told her just how pleased they were for her and Artem as their political¡ genius was revealed.
¡°Lady Regina and Prince Artem,¡± Lord Red Hair, who had introduced himself as Marquess Gaston la Belle, a man as beautiful as he was insufferable, ¡°you two are a pair that truly¡ suit each other. I can think of no other couple who would think to throw such an¡ unconventional party.¡±
Regina wanted to unconventionally claw his eyes out. Yet before she could respond, Lord Grass Hair ¨C no, Lord Robin Buren ¨C interrupted with a smile.
¡°Do not be so cruel to tonight¡¯s happy couple,¡± Lord Robin Buren said, a warm smile on his face. ¡°If Lady Regina and Prince Artem wish to celebrate their coming joy with more than the official celebrations, they should.¡±
¡°Indeed,¡± said Lord Leaf Brooch, who had been introduced as the imposing Duke Neville and was never far from his Buren counterpart. ¡°Their pleasure in being with one another is obvious.¡±
That was, strangely enough, very true. Regina had to marvel at how Artem (though crestfallen over not being able to serenade Regina in private) had thrown himself into socializing with the giant crowd of nobles.
Regina felt a temporary burst of relief as Artem cheerfully smiled at the nobles assembled before him.
That is, Regina felt relief before Artem said, ¡°I am glad to hear that! Personally, I could never be less than charmed by anything my Regina arranges. Is she not, in every way, perfect?¡±
Regina gritted her teeth and gently pulled Artem away from another group of nobles before the red on her ears spread to the rest of her face.
Even so, she knew what she had to do to stay alive and she executed her plans with a grim determination.
Thus, for the rest of the night, Regina frantically fluttered from one group of nobles to another with poor Artem by her side.
Yet though she knew that she was ultimately saving her life and Artem¡¯s reputation by making them unavailable for a night assassination, Regina felt sorry for what she was doing to her poor groom-to-be.
After all, though Artem was willing to gallantly greet and gift every noble she introduced to him, it was clear that they thought of him as an idiot flouting the strict etiquette of the royal family to please his equally ridiculous bride.
Granted, Artem had hardly had a sterling reputation even before their engagement. Indeed, Regina knew from her dreams of him that poor, gentle, good-hearted Artem had faced and still did face the scorn and condescension of many.
Yet it still made Regina burn to see how the nobles hid sneers beneath their smiles as they congratulated Artem on ¡°flouting convention to build an ever-lasting alliance with the Sheridans.¡±
¡® Laugh all you want ,¡¯ Regina seethed behind her own tight smile. ¡® Artem is worth a hundred of you¡ and once we get married, I will whisk him straight away to the outer edges of this bloody country !¡¯
She turned to see Artem - poor, sweet Artem, who had only wanted to sing her a song ¨C and barely stifled the urge to say,
¡®One day, I will run away with you¡ no matter who wants to destroy us.¡¯
With a smile that was mostly teeth, Regina took Artem¡¯s hand in her own and fought the only battle she could fight for the both of them¡ until they could both escape this nightmare.
Chapter 9: Of Feelings and Feet Fish
By the time dawn arrived, Regina was so exhausted by hours of socializing that she was nearly dead on her feet.
After spending the first one-and-twenty years of her life speaking only to a select group of family members and servants, and as often in monosyllables as she could manage, Regina had had enough social interactions to last her the next one-and-twenty years.
What¡¯s more, the thought of going through her actual engagement party with even more sneering nobles that same day almost made Regina collapse and wish an assassin had found her after all.
As it was, she found herself curled up in a balcony corner, watching the sun rise as she tried to recover from hours spent raving about how amazing the bond between Artem and her family happened to be.
(Even if she could not prevent her own death, she wanted to make sure poor Artem was not blamed for it. Given how eagerly he was participating in all her schemes, that was the least she could do for him!)
Yet as Regina watched the sun rise with weary, red-rimmed eyes, she felt both pity and sadness for poor Artem.
¡°He just wanted to sing to me,¡± she said, maybe a little wistfully.
Though Artem¡¯s lyric-sheet was still in need of editing, Regina realized now she actually did wish she could have heard his song. After all, it was not as if she had ever had anyone else want to sing for her.
It would have been¡ nice to feel special enough to have earned a song, even if everyone else seemed to think her singer was a sentimental fool.
Regina now winced as she thought of the number of thinly veiled insults that she and Artem had faced tonight when they greeted every noble at their impromptu party. Each and every single one had made Regina want to spit venom, though she had had to pretend not to understand their insinuations¡
Even as sweet Artem had truly seemed to not understand how the nobles felt about him, based on how he had smiled widely each time the nobles had called him ¡°compassionate¡± and ¡°understanding¡± for going along with his ¡°wife-to-be¡¯s whimsical whims.¡±
¡°Artem really does deserve better than me,¡± Regina softly admitted to herself. ¡°I spent all night pulling him from one group of nosy cruel nobles to another just so that he could be insulted in slightly varying words. I then forced him to greet and socialize with those awful people¡ only to have him praise me to every person who spoke to him. I am a terrible bride-to-be!¡±
¡°No one,¡± said a soft voice behind her, ¡°insults my amazing fianc¨¦e¡ not even you, my dearest darling.¡±
Regina almost leaped into the air and off the balcony before a pair of surprisingly sturdy arms embraced her and she turned her face to look at Artem, who now looked worried.
Trying to cover up her foolishness with a jest, she replied, ¡°No one startles like your fianc¨¦e either. Take care not to scare me, my prince¡ or when we are married, I may put a bell on you to know when you are coming and going.¡±
Regina was even more startled by the strangely wide smile that spread across Artem¡¯s face before it turned into something much milder and more familiar.
¡°Would you mind then,¡± he said shyly, eyelashes lowered most attractively, ¡°if I sing to you? You seemed to¡ know that I wished to sing¡ and you did not seem to mind?¡±
Artem looked up through his eyelashes then, so hopeful and bright, that Regina privately thought that he outshone the rising sun.
Nodding almost as if she was hypnotized, she was rewarded by a smile that was somehow even brighter than his previous hopeful expression.
Then Artem opened his mouth, staring at her in a way that felt intense and comforting and exciting all at once¡
When his song finally reached her ears and carried her to a place that felt so far away but familiar all at once, Regina felt her eyes begin to sting.
Nobody had ever looked at her like Artem was looking at her.
She had never thought anyone could look at her like Artem was looking at her.
Regina did not even want anyone else to try.
As she tried to refocus her strangely blurry vision as Artem¡¯s song came to an end, Regina suddenly realized that Artem had moved closer, even as he had taken her hand in his.
¡°You have been working so hard by yourself,¡± he said softly, his smile replaced with a somber expression. ¡°I can see how much you have had to bear, all alone.¡±
Regina felt as if it would have been less surprising if he had suddenly stabbed her ¨C which was the only excuse she had for the bitter words that she then spoke.
¡°Nobody sees me,¡± she said ¨C confessed, knowing she was ruining a sweet moment but strangely incapable of lying.
Artem was suddenly so close that Regina could feel his breath against hers and wondered if he could hear the heartbeat that was so loud in her ears.
Even as her eyes went wide, Artem leaned closer to her face, his gaze never leaving hers for a single second.
He was so close that Regina wondered if somehow they were going to melt together when his mouth opened and ¨C
¡°I see you,¡± said Artem.
¨C and Regina forgot how to breathe.
All she could do was stand still as Artem gently cupped her face in his hands and moved closer, his eyes as blue as the autumn skies¡
¡before she jerked away, almost flinging herself out of his arms as her desires collided with the reality that she had no idea how to properly kiss him and that if Artem realized how inept she was ¨C
It was one thing to dream of receiving a passionate embrace from her beautiful and caring husband-to-be.
It was another thing to be confronted with an embrace in reality¡ and to realize she might fail to live up to his dreams.
Yet Regina could not confess her fears any more than she could confess the real reason she wanted to marry Artem so badly.
So instead, staring at a forlorn-looking Artem, Regina sputtered the first words that tripped over her tongue.
¡°You make the most beautiful jewelry I can imagine,¡± Regina babbled. ¡°In fact, I ¨C I wear the beautiful gifts you send me day and night! After we wed, will you make more for me?¡±
She immediately winced, knowing she had made herself look like a ridiculously greedy woman who wanted to use Artem ¨C which truth be told, she was, but only because Artem was her only hope of surviving calamity.
Yet to her surprise, instead of looking disgusted with her avarice, Artem just smiled even more brightly.
¡°You are,¡± he said, his voice almost as sparkling as his smile, ¡°the perfect woman.¡±
Before Regina could determine what part of making him miserable, denying him any pleasure, and then telling him she wanted him to service her made her ¡°perfect,¡± Artem suddenly drew his hands together ¨C
And conjured up the bouquet of golden roses that Regina had seen him create for her in her last vision.
Even as her mouth gaped open at Artem¡¯s casual use of his metallurgic magic ¨C how could he dismiss and then conjure metal that well? ¨C he gently moved to weave the golden roses into a graceful crown for her hair and continued speaking.
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¡°I have so many things I want to share with you!¡± he said brightly, almost hopefully, as he stared up at Regina through his eyelashes.
Touching her new rose garland with wide eyes, Regina asked, ¡°What do you mean?¡±
¡°I mean,¡± Artem continued, obviously warming to the subject, ¡° that I wish to give you what is your due, my princess. In fact, I can do more than share what I can craft myself. All the treasures of the Alpins will be yours once we are wed!¡±
That, Regina thought skeptically, seemed to be a promise that was hopefully more the exaggeration of love than actual fact.
After all, Regina had no intention of letting Artem draw the wrath of his Alpin relatives by stealing priceless treasures for her.
To Regina¡¯s surprise, Artem obviously noticed something wrong due to the way her eyebrow was trying to take residence in her hairline. He quickly added, ¡°I will get you whatever you desire because I intend to make you the happiest bride possible¡ as I am already the happiest groom.¡±
Though Regina¡¯s eyebrows now threatened to take up permanent residence near her hairline, Regina had to smile.
¡°Then our mutual happiness,¡± she replied, ¡°is enough for me. If we could be safe and content and far from assasi ¨C er ¨C assumptions that others make about us, I will be most pleased!¡±
¡°You need not settle for so little,¡± said Artem softly, for a second his gaze strangely intense before sparkling once more. ¡°I do not only speak metaphorically here¡ As an Alpin, I also speak metallurgically!¡±
Before Regina could process the horror of that piece of wordplay, Artem said brightly, ¡°As a prince of Carcosa, I have access to the guarded and secured treasure room of the reigning monarchs. The Gold Room is filled with all kinds of amazing treasures, including the jewel of our collection¡ a necklace made from stones given as a tribute by the Kuzey family.¡±
Considering the size of the golden crowns, scepters, and probably undergarments wielded by the various Alpins that Regina had met, Regina wondered how a necklace could possibly be the most valuable treasure of the Alpins.
¡°What kind of stones could be in such a necklace?¡± said Regina, more thinking out loud than actually intending to ask a question. ¡°Diamonds? Rubies?¡±
None of those seemed valuable enough to overcome the public treasures the Alpins shared at every event she had seen.
¡°Far more precious than that,¡± said Artem, jolting Regina back to his intense, glittering gaze. ¡°It is a stone you will have never seen since only the Kuzeys and the Alpins have access to it.¡±
The idea that the Alpins had a stone that only they and the Kuzeys could use, did seem of a kind of rarity that Regina could acknowledge.
She wondered how lovely it must be to be so hidden from the rest of the world ¨C
¡°Of course it is even more rare,¡± said Artem cheerfully, ¡°because it is set within the giant eye of a golden feet fish that wraps around your entire face.¡±
¡°Uhm,¡± Regina said, her gasted now thoroughly flabbered. ¡°Excuse me?¡±
¡°Around your entire face,¡± said Artem helpfully making a gesture that did, indeed, imply his entire face. ¡°That is where the feet fish rests when you wear this piece of jewelry.¡±
¡°What-¡± Regina repeated as her mind vanished into some distant land.
¡°--Color is it?¡± finished Artem, sparkling even more in his enthusiasm. ¡°The necklace almost looks like the true creature since it is formed in the finest pink-gold and has over a dozen feet that wrap gently around your face, as though it is cradling you like a baby.¡±
¡°How,¡± said Regina, ignoring what kind of childhood Artem must have had to be cradled by a dozen feet smothering his face, ¡°is that a necklace?¡±
¡°The tail splits to embrace your neck as well,¡± said Artem enthusiastically. ¡°It is a very gentle choking sensation!¡±
¡°I can see,¡± said Regina numbly, ¡°why this necklace is residing in a treasure room.¡±
¡®-and not being worn in public,¡¯ Regina thought but did not say.
¡°Oh,¡± said Artem, obviously sensing some of her¡ hesitation. ¡°But the necklace is very wearable! In fact, it has many health benefits as well. In between fighting for breath, the stone eye of the feet fish shines with a light that infuses your body with strength!¡±
As Regina¡¯s mind bounded between disbelief and horror, Artem paused for a second as his brow furrowed.
¡°Granted,¡± he added, ¡°even most of my family do not enjoy this¡ process and will not do it. However, I believe it really is rejuvenating! I am so glad Cousin Reginald introduced me to it¡ even though he seemed strangely startled I was still breathing afterwards. I cannot wait to share it with you once we are married!¡±
Regina could only blink for several breaths before she managed a wan smile and said, ¡°That is so very¡ thoughtful of you. Only Artem¡¡±
Calming her nerves, Regina stepped forward to take Artem¡¯s hands in her own, giving them a gentle squeeze.
¡°I do not need fish with glowing stone eyeballs or golden feet that apparently cradle my skull until I might lose consciousness to make me happy.¡±
Looking into Artem¡¯s beautiful blue eyes, Regina murmured, ¡°I only need you, right beside me.¡±
¡Especially, she silently added, if you stay free long enough for me to use my visions to maneuver us into a nice countryside estate with no lurking assassins.
At her words, Artem perked up like a dandelion in the sun, his entire face shining with some emotion far beyond Regina¡¯s experience.
¡°Are you¡¡± he said gently, running his fingers over Regina¡¯s own, ¡°sure there is nothing else I can do for you?¡±
Regina felt that strange bubbling warmth at his unconditional generosity before he spoke again and broke her heart in another unfamiliar way.
¡°I have never been chosen by anyone before,¡± he softly admitted, ¡°and I want you to¡ not regret choosing me over¡ over a much more powerful and brilliant prince.¡±
Regina felt a fierce and sudden anger that someone as bright and lovely and kind as Artem had never been anyone¡¯s choice before he had stumbled into her dreams.
It made sense that someone like her had spent her life being overlooked. After all, being a particularly bland shade of beige was her primary survival strategy. However, Regina could not understand why no one had recognized the value of the shiny, lovely man before her.
Even if he was not particularly intelligent or ambitious or had any real goals besides frolicking and making his future wife happy ¨C
¡°I will never regret it,¡± Regina said, knowing she valued Artem¡¯s warmth well above his wits. ¡°I know who you are, I know what you like to do, and I know we will be happy!¡±
¡®As long as we survive,¡¯ she had to admit, even as her mood turned grim. ¡®Yet surely I can leverage my visions of your future to ensure my happiness¡ and use those same visions to grant you a better life.¡¯
Artem looked at her for a long, strange moment where Regina felt as if he was trying to see into her soul¡
Before he smiled such a beautiful, lovely, and hopeful smile that Regina too felt as light as a dandelion.
¡°Are you a magician?¡± Artem said softly, and Regina¡¯s heart nearly stopped in fear that he had figured out her secret.
Yet before she could panic and throw herself off the balcony in hopes of finding safety, Artem continued speaking.
¡°Because,¡± said Artem, looking up at her from under those unfairly long eyelashes, ¡°whenever I look at you, the world disappears.¡±
Regina¡¯s heart started beating once more and she wondered why her eyes were pricking once again.
It was such a silly, ridiculous thing to say and yet¡
¡°Even if you cannot believe me yet,¡± said Artem softly, as he very gently, delicately wiped the corner of her eyes with the tip of his fingers, ¡°know that nothing I have is of any value compared to you.¡±
¡°Does that include,¡± said Regina, half-laughing so that she does not sob, ¡°your giant face-hugging golden feet fish necklace?¡±
Artem winked and snapped his fingers. ¡°I will destroy it the moment you wish to see it gone.¡±
Regina raised an eyebrow, getting into the game by boldly poking a particular prominent brooch on his chest. ¡°What about your ever-present brooch?¡±
Artem did not look away from her for a single second, as he reached down and crumpled the brooch in his grasp.
¡°You did not-¡± said Regina, startled and suddenly uncomfortably warm, with an odd buzzing beneath her skin.
Artem leaned forward, his eyes strangely dark as Regina swayed towards him, wondering if they would finally ¨C
¨CAnd then, to her intense disappointment, Artem suddenly pulled back with a soft, secretive smile.
¡°Nothing is more valuable than you,¡± he said cheerfully. ¡°So you will just have to decide what you want¡ and take it.¡±
Flushed, Regina stared at him before she shyly asked, ¡°What if what I want can only come after we are married?¡±
¡®After all, I just want a peaceful life spent with the two of us tucked away in a remote estate ¨C both of us happy and free¡¡¯
¡°What if,¡± she added, feeling her heart surge at the thought even as she wondered whether such a future was possible, ¡°what I want is beyond my grasp?¡±
Artem once again took her hand in his and extended both their arms towards the sunrise.
¡°Then let me,¡± Artem softly said, ¡°extend your reach.¡±
Regina leaned towards him, felt him shift to wrap an arm around her as if they were already wed, and could not bring herself to care.
So long as she could use the magical gift she had been granted to keep them both out of danger, she could hope for a future she would never have previously imagined.
Even as her gaze started to blur and her head grew heavy, Regina felt Artem¡¯s comforting weight beside her and hoped that she would see a future where she could return that comfort and support.
The only problem was that once Regina finally fell asleep against Artem¡¯s broad shoulder, she had a vision of a future filled with betrayal, murder¡
¡and feet fish.
Chapter 10: The Murderous Message
Staring at Artem¡¯s face, Regina realized that, until this moment, she had never seen him look afraid.
Previously, she had seen Artem look concerned and upset. She could hardly forget the pain on his face in her first vision when he had witnessed her imprisonment and then death following her doomed engagement to Prince Aaron.
In the last few weeks, Regina had grown used to seeing Artem look pleased, surprised, puzzled, and even rapturously happy which was an emotion that she seemed to bring out from him with strange frequency.
Yet now, Artem looked afraid, perhaps even terrified. As Regina stared in confusion, she watched Artem¡¯s fear turn into determination as he suddenly began racing down the halls of the royal palace as a group of harried nobles followed on his heels.
¡°Wait!¡± Regina cried, watching them go before she could force her body to follow. ¡°What is happening? Artem, where are you going?!¡±
Yet no one bothered to answer her, so intent were they on reaching their destination. It was barely a few breaths before they were in front of an imposing metal door that should have been sealed shut via dozens of locks meant to repel all trespassers¡
¡Only, Regina realized with her heart in her throat, at least one trespasser had managed the impossible.
At least one person had already opened some of the locks and created an entrance that a slender person could ease through¡
¡and Regina had a terrible feeling that she knew what lay beyond that door.
That feeling only compounded as she watched Artem, displaying a burst of metallurgic magic that Regina had no idea he could wield, wrenched open the remaining locks so that the door blew open so quickly that Regina wondered if it had been pulled from its hinges.
Then Artem and his entourage exploded into a room filled with so many gaudy treasures that Regina was stranded between sheer wonder and amazement at the tastelessness of its owners.
¡°There is only one family in all of Carcosa that is this wealthy and this gaudy,¡± Regina realized. ¡°So this treasure room must belong to ¨C¡±
Yet she did not even have time to finish her sentence before she heard Artem desperately cry out her name, even as he raced through enormous halls glittering with gilt and gold.
¡°Regina!¡± Artem cried, as the Regina behind him waited with growing dread. ¡°Regina, please, if you are here ¨C !¡±
Then his cries ceased, even as the Regina behind him struggled not to scream.
After all, it was hard to get used to staring at your corpse, especially when it was smothered beneath a ridiculous, repulsive, rose-gold necklace whose ¡°feet¡± were wrapped around a smothered face while its glittering ¡°eye¡± seemed to pulse.
Distantly, Regina heard a noble in the crowd murmur, ¡°By the blood, was this wench not satisfied by the gifts she got after her engagement? Did her merchant blood make her race to where the Alpin treasure was held?¡±
Yet those words were no more than wind when she saw Artem drop to his knees, sobbing as he began trying to wrench that horrific necklace from her face and body.
¡°Regina,¡± he said, his voice almost unintelligible whilst mixed with his tears. ¡°Oh Regina, I never should have ¨C why did I ¨C I ¨C¡±
Regina had to look away from his naked grief, only to find her eyes straying to her corpse¡¯s limp right arm, which looked normal except for her¡
¡°No,¡± Regina whispered, wishing she did not see what she did. ¡°No, no, no, no ¨C¡±
Except for her strangely discolored fingernail beds, which were a peculiar greenish-yellow¡
¡a shade all too similar to the color that the beds of her sister¡¯s fingernails had turned after she had been poisoned, before turning a final, gruesome black.
Horrified, Regina jerked back from her dead body ¡ª
Only to wake up in a sleeping Artem¡¯s lap.
Thankfully, her sudden moment did not immediately wake Artem, who must have been as exhausted as her from a night of endless socializing.
Yet even as Regina stared at Artem¡¯s peacefully sleeping face, a face so relaxed and so different from the grief-stricken contortions in her dreams¡
She wondered who had poisoned her in her last vision of the future¡
¡and why her assassin hated her and Artem so much that they wished to kill her in such a vicious and mocking way.
~???~
For a very long time, Regina found herself staring at Artem¡¯s peaceful face, trying to understand who wanted to destroy him.
After all, given the gaudiness and wealth of that room, as well as Artem¡¯s access to and familiarity with it, it was clear that Regina had been killed in the Alpin treasure room that Artem had spoken of before they had drifted to sleep.
What¡¯s more, she had not merely been killed. Regina¡¯s corpse had been arranged to cause Artem the greatest possible pain.
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Apparently, whoever had murdered Regina had known that the best way to emotionally destroy Artem was to force him to find her corpse in the same room that he had once promised to take her to ¨C
While also pinned beneath the feet fish necklace that Artem so loved.
¡°Who hates you that badly?¡± Regina murmured to her sleeping prince. ¡°So much so that they are willing to destroy you along with me?¡±
It was at that point that Artem began to rouse, his eyelids delicately fluttering open to reveal his sky-blue eyes, which brightened as they looked down at Regina.
¡°Regina!¡± he cried, his whole face alight with radiant delight ¨C
Until he realized that he was breathing stagnant air from last night right on her face.
¡°Ack!¡± he cried, before he instantly ducked away to pull out a handkerchief and hide his disgrace.
¡°Artem¡?¡± Regina inquired, holding back a laugh as she watched the blush on his face continue to grow.
¡°Forgive me, my lady,¡± he murmured into his handkerchief, looking torn between dismay and delight. ¡°It ¨C it is truly an honor to wake to your presence but¡ oh, to assail you with my unclean breath! What you must think of me!¡±
¡°I think,¡± Regina said, amusement overtaking her past fear, ¡°that I have a considerate groom-to-be and he does not need to hide anything from me.¡±
Artem looked shocked at that and Regina laughed again, though her common sense soon asserted itself as she remembered the danger they both faced.
¡®Never mind our discussion of foul breath,¡¯ she sternly reminded herself. ¡®I need to focus on my coming death¡ and based on my fingernail beds in that dream, somebody clearly poisoned me. But who? Even better ¨C how? I need to ask Artem for any information he must have, although¡¡¯
Regina softened as she felt the contrast between the warm and happy Artem before her now and the anguished, weeping Artem of her dreams.
¡®I should be gentle. Poor Artem has no idea what is to come¡ nor do I want him to. I wish he could always be this peaceful and happy.¡¯
Thus instead of immediately bombarding Artem with questions, Regina paused for a moment and reflected.
Suddenly smiling, she said, ¡°Besides, we have something far more scandalous than foul breath to concern us.¡±
¡°We do?¡± Artem said, looking adorably confused.
¡°Of course,¡± Regina replied, trying to be light-hearted for a moment. ¡°If I have already fallen asleep on you and then you slept next to me¡ does that mean we have had our first night already?¡±
Artem¡¯s face somehow went even redder as he cried, ¡°No! I swear by the blood that you will have a much more memorable first night than this! I have already been researching how to please you!¡±
Regina laughed in a mingle of shock and anticipation, even as she felt her own face flush red.
Still, Regina quickly sobered when she remembered the fate that she was trying to escape and said, ¡°I do have a more question for you, Artem.¡±
Eyes widening, she realized how that could be misinterpreted and hastily added, ¡°No, I do not wish to know about what you are reading.¡±
¡°That is unfortunate,¡± Artem said, somehow coming across as innocent as a dandelion in bloom. ¡°After all, I am not embarrassed about my instructional literature. I will do whatever I can to make you happy!¡±
Regina had to smile at Artem¡¯s sincerity and strange taste in what embarrassed him¡ and what did not. However, there were more immediate concerns than her future husband¡¯s odd personality quirks and Regina could delay no longer.
¡°My question is about the treasure room,¡± Regina said and saw Artem brighten immediately.
¡°So you do wish to visit it?¡± Artem asked, suddenly as eager as a wiggling puppy. ¡°I can take you to it as soon as you please!¡±
Blinking Regina asked, ¡°You can just¡ do that? I assumed you would need to first inform your father or mother or¡ well¡ someone.¡±
After all, though Artem had wrenched the doors to the Alpin treasure room open in an act of desperation, she had assumed that he could not enter a room teeming with priceless family treasures whenever he wished. From what she could see of his family interactions, his family and servants tolerated and perhaps even loved Artem¡ but they did not respect him.
(From what little gossip she had overheard since reaching the capital, the only exception who respected Artem might lie in Artem¡¯s mother, the foreign noble who had married the king after the death of his previous queen¡ but then again, it was Artem¡¯s mother. Though Regina was hardly respected by her own mother, she assumed that Artem¡¯s mother was a kinder, less pragmatic person).
¡°Do not worry!¡± Artem cheerfully said in response to Regina¡¯s concerns. ¡°As one of only three people left in the direct line of the throne, I am allowed to go anywhere I wish to in the palace. Even our Shadowguard cannot freely go where I do! What¡¯s more...¡±
Taking Regina¡¯s hand in his own, Artem gently said, ¡°You need not worry about the barriers and locks that bar the treasure room to the unwelcome. Only we royal Alpins and our closest associates are allowed there but now that we are engaged¡¡±
The tender smile on Artem¡¯s face brought about one on Regina¡¯s own.
¡°Who could I trust more than I trust you? Once you become my princess, I will give you full freedom to enter the treasure room as you please. You can enjoy the wonders of my family without fear.¡±
Though overwhelmed by how generous Artem¡¯s offer was, Regina could not help but ask, ¡°Well, what would happen if someone, who would definitely not be me, entered the Alpin treasure room without the permission of your family?¡±
While Artem¡¯s laughter was usually delightful, for a brief moment it sounded almost¡ sinister.
¡°Such a person would not be well served by their efforts,¡± Artem replied. ¡°If the treasure room is breached by anything other than our royal family¡¯s metallurgic magic, that is only found in our bloodline, the entire palace would be alerted. Everyone would come running as soon as the room was breached!¡±
¡°Oh,¡± was all Regina could say, and as Artem held her hand and cheerfully described the many treasures that he planned to give her as soon as they wed, her mind raced furiously.
Later, as Regina trudged to bed to get a few hours of sleep before her official engagement party began, she tried to collect her thoughts.
¡°Someone,¡± she muttered, even as she fought to keep her eyes open, ¡°worked very hard to kill me. It was not enough for them to poison me with the kind of toxin that could discolor my nailbeds. No ¨C they wanted to deposit my dead body in the Alpin treasure room to signal something.¡±
Shuddering as she remembered the horror and pain on Artem¡¯s face in her last vision, Regina sighed.
¡°I can only wonder what message my murderer is trying to convey¡ and if that message is for Artem or someone else entirely.¡±
Chapter 11: Foiling a Fiend
After a relatively peaceful sleep spent dreaming of poor Artem getting the rest she had continuously denied him, Regina woke up to the chirping of the birds and Henrietta¡¯s pokes.
¡°Wake up,¡± Henrietta mercilessly said as Regina groaned.
¡°By the blood,¡± Regina spluttered as she tried to shift away from her cousin¡¯s prodding finger. ¡°Hen, can you not wake me gently?¡±
¡°Not when it is the day of your engagement ball,¡± Henrietta replied, her pokes stopping as Regina bolted upright. ¡°You have another long day ahead of you¡ and you know our family wants you to make a perfect debut.¡±
¡°How lovely,¡± Regina muttered as she finally began dragging herself out of bed and toward a day sure to be filled with her two least favorite events¡ assassination and socialization.
Grimly aware that she needed to prove her worth to her family as a political piece while dodging the poisons that might land her body in the middle of the Alpin treasure vault, Regina got dressed and departed for the palace with her family.
Once there, she was left in a private dressing room with Henrietta, who she dismissed as fast as she could.
¡°I need,¡± Regina plaintively said, ¡°some time to myself. I am taking such a¡ a giant leap in life as I come closer to being one with my beloved Artem. I need some privacy to ¨C to ¨C¡±
¡°Please do not say anything else,¡± Henrietta replied, already backing away from Regina. ¡°I do not need more details on how you plan to be one with your flower prince..¡±
¡°What in Carcosa do you mean¨C¡± had been all Regina could say before Henrietta had vanished, looking as though a pack of hungry Sheridans were nipping at her heels.
Still, as odd as Henrietta¡¯s actions were, Regina did not question her luck in driving her closest friend away.
As tolerant as Henrietta usually was, Regina did not want to explain why she had to ransack the room she was in to search for hidden sources of poison.
Once Henrietta was out of sight, Regina wrapped her handkerchief around her face and pulled out some gloves from her bodice to cover her hands. Properly covered, Regina began immediately searching every surface she could find as she tried to think about how poison might find her.
¡°My assassin might have tried some kind of contact poison,¡± Regina muttered. ¡°Perhaps it could be something I am supposed to touch with my hands or my face. Could it have been a substance placed on something I might touch¡ like my armoire or my face powder or my dress?¡±
Her face powder and dress for the ball that night would likely be safe. Her father had repeatedly stressed that he had gone to great lengths to buy her only the finest clothing and accessories for her engagement ball. Said clothing and accessories were being guarded by loyal Sheridan retainers who would hardly let anyone else tamper with them.
(After all, the Sheridan family only wanted their relatives to die if that was their will.)
However, the furniture at the royal palace could easily be contaminated by contact poison¡ and if Regina opened every drawer and searched for hidden compartments, she might find the poison meant to kill her.
Unfortunately, Regina¡¯s thorough, if time-limited, search for poison was hardly noiseless.
Thus, when Henrietta came back with eyebrows raised, saying, ¡°I appreciate your ardor for Prince Artem but can neither of you be a little more discreet?¡±
...Henrietta found Regina doing something far more embarrassing than listening to Artem¡¯s serenade.
¡°Er,¡± Regina said, flushing as she was caught ransacking the beautiful dressing room like a bridal bandit. ¡°I just¡ love hearing the sound of wooden drawers coming off their hinges? As does Artem? Which is why I thought I would start practicing before the actual wedding?¡±
¡°Makes sense,¡± Henrietta replied, looking around the disheveled room with something akin to respect. ¡°I enjoy the noise that comes from lifting large vases up and down.¡±
¡°Huh,¡± Regina said, blinking as she moved away from the ravaged drawers and took off her gloves. ¡°That does explain your amazing physique.¡±
Yet before Regina could say much more, Henrietta disappeared while mumbling something about commissioning more pottery¡ just as a nearly unnoticeable servant arrived to take Regina to her next destination.
¡°My lady,¡± the man said, his features as bland as his voice, ¡°your breakfast awaits¡ as do your parents. Please follow me.¡±
~???~
There were no assassination attempts as Regina made her way to the breakfast room.
However, as Regina stared at the lavish spread before her, she feared this meal might turn into the means of her murder.
¡°Why are you not eating?¡± her mother asked after she had lovingly buttered a fresh biscuit with one of her ever present knives. ¡°I even told the palace chefs to make you little cakes as a treat.¡±
¡®Well, mother,¡¯ Regina thought but did not say, ¡®this is because normally I do not need to fear being poisoned at a routine meal.¡¯
After all, even if the little, cream-filled cakes in front of Regina looked delectable¡
Her assassin might easily murder her by coating her meals with poison while the palace chefs were not looking. It was even possible the palace chefs themselves were baking horrifying poisons into the center of the little cakes, knowing no creature on earth could resist that combination of cream and sweetness.
In fact, her food was not the only thing that could be contaminated. For all Regina knew, her assassin might have targeted her plates or cutlery!
Thus, everything in front of Regina was far too dangerous for her to even touch.
Yet even as her parents stared at her and she stared at her forbidden cakes, Regina felt her head swim and her mouth water.
She had not eaten anything at the party last night, caught as she was in a social whirl, and Henrietta¡¯s merciless morning call had left no time to sate her appetite. At this rate, Regina feared that if she went without eating for much longer, she might faint in the middle of the engagement ball and die by the hands of her angry disgraced family.
On the other hand, Regina realized, just because the assassin wanted to murder her did not mean they could possibly get away with murdering all the Sheridans around her¡
¡Including her parents, who had been happily eating for the last fifteen minutes with no signs of discoloration at any extremities or frothing from the mouth.
So, with a feral snarl born of equal parts desperation and hunger, Regina almost leaped across the table to begin eating from her parents¡¯ plates with her bare hands.
The items on her parents¡¯ plates were some of the only things she could safely eat in the palace. After all, they had already taste-tested it for her.
It was only when Regina was halfway through her father¡¯s steak and her mother¡¯s biscuits that she finally realized how horrified both of her parents looked¡ and realized she needed to make an excuse before she was deemed defective enough to destroy.
¡°I just,¡± Regina weakly noted, ¡°decided in the last period of life I have with my¡ er¡ loving family, I wanted to share one last thing with you¡¡±
Her parents¡¯ clear confusion only deepened, to Regina¡¯s utter embarrassment and horror.
Thus, in clear desperation, she grabbed her father¡¯s remaining steak and mother¡¯s last biscuit in her hands and thrust them into the air, as though she were going to battle swathed in gravy.
¡°I want to share our last meal not just at the same table but from the same plates!¡± Regina cried. ¡°Mother and father¡ I know our family has not been the same ever since¡¡±
Regina swallowed, unable to continue that particular sentence, even in service of saving her own life. However, she managed to rally with a great lie to distract from her mistake, ¡°...But I love you both so much, I just wanted to do whatever I could to be closer to you!¡±
Then, Regina crammed items from both of the meals into her mouth at the same time, furiously chewed, and said, ¡°We must be united one final time before I am wrenched away by marriage. This is one last time where we can be the family we were meant to be!¡±
It was all lies and nonsense, of course. Regina did not harbor any hopes that she and her parents would ever turn back to what they had been in the past, before her sister had died¡
The foolish part of her that had ever longed for such a thing had long since been destroyed.
To her surprise, Regina¡¯s ridiculous words actually caused her parents to soften. In front of her astonished eyes, her father¡¯s perpetual anxiousness and mother¡¯s cynical mask both wavered for a moment until they looked nearly the same way they did in her distant memories.
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Unfortunately, her mother then asked, ¡°Does that mean you wish to call for dessert?¡±
That was when Regina grabbed her mother¡¯s goblet of wine, drank it to the last drop, and ran off with the hasty excuse that her dearest Artem was calling her.
~???~
Having hastily fled from the dining room and into a random hallway, Regina found herself lost, confused, and deeply nervous that she might not be able to find a potential escape route before some lurking assassin found her.
She had had a single glimpse of red hair the third time she had circled the same hallway complex and attempted to follow the person in the butler outfit, only to find herself even more hopelessly lost.
¡®By the blood,¡¯ Regina thought in increasing panic and annoyance, ¡®were the architects behind this place inspired by bees?!¡¯
Before she could turn back and try to navigate the complex series of corridors linking all the different rooms of the royal palace, Regina found herself stumbling directly into the path of someone with the same brilliant, blood-red hair of the butler she had been attempting to follow.
However, this person was dressed as a maid.
Blinking, she timidly asked the servant, ¡°Were you not just wearing a butler¡¯s outfit?¡±
The servant just smiled and said, ¡°Perhaps. Memory is a strange and changing power, is it not?
Before Regina could say anything else, the servant bowed and said, ¡°Please follow me to the tea parlor, Lady Regina. You have yet more people to meet.¡±
Before Regina could wonder how the servant knew her name, she was walking down a strange hallway that she had never previously noticed¡
¡that suddenly opened into an outdoor parlor.
Twisting to thank the servant for their service, she was shocked to realize both the hallway and the servant had vanished.
Disconcerted, Regina turned back to the parlor in front of her¡
¡only to find herself in front of all the nobles she had seen in her first vision, all bowing to her in unison.
¡°Please,¡± Regina spluttered as she saw the downturned heads of Dukes Neville and Kuzey, Marquesses La Belle and Poisson, and Lord Robin Buren as they paid respects to her new position as a soon-to-be-princess. ¡°I-it would please me greatly if you were to rise. I hope to establish friendships with all of you and your families!¡±
After all, the more ¡°friends¡± Regina had, the more valuable it would be to keep her alive¡ and the less time she would be alone and vulnerable to assassins.
Robin was the first to rise out of his bow. As he did so Regina could have sworn he even winked.
¡°Then friends we shall be,¡± Robin cheerfully said. ¡°I could never refuse the friendship of such a lovely and lively lady!¡±
¡°Do try to repress your instincts to flirt with our future princess,¡± Duke Neville said, sighing. ¡°Lady Regina, please do not take offense at anything that comes from the mouth of Lord Robin. He would flirt with a plank of wood if it was shaped sufficiently like a woman.¡±
¡°That was one time,¡± Robin responded, brow twitching a little, ¡°and it was not my fault that you shaped the tree to look so¡ buxom.¡±
As Duke Neville raised his hand to his brow to massage it, Robin turned to Regina again and smiled.
¡°Do not worry, my dear princess. No one could ever mistake you for anything but the reason why Prince Artem is the luckiest member of the royal family.¡±
Regina felt a furious blush spread across her face¡ a blush that faded fast when the rest of the noblemen began scrutinizing her.
Unfortunately, even if Robin Buren was willing to be kind, the rest of the noblemen were far less¡ supportive.
¡°Have you ever thought,¡± Marquess Poisson asked, ¡°of incorporating more fish in your diet? Fish oil would give your hair a little more¡ luster. Perhaps you could even massage it into your skin nightly.¡±
¡°If she does that,¡± Duke Kuzey thoughtfully noted, ¡°then she had better take care it is the right kind of fish. If a feet fish helps soften skin, it is only to better penetrate that skin with their teeth.¡±
Before Regina could think through what that even meant or worse, have another traumatic flashback memory to that hideous rose-gold feet-fish mask grasping her corpse in her last vision ¨C
Marquess La Belle interrupted, with a sharp and condescending click of his tongue.
¡°No,¡± the beautiful red-haired man snapped, even as he stared at Regina in abject dismay. ¡°You are all fools! Why try to prescribe a long-term solution to an immediate problem? No amount of oil from feet nor fish will help her dull complexion at tonight¡¯s ball. What she needs is this.¡±
Then, to Regina¡¯s horror, he pulled out and then opened a small compact full of face powder ¨C
Face powder that could be laced with anything.
¡°Hold still, Lady Regina,¡± Marquess La Belle said with a terrifying look in his eyes. ¡°I promise this will not hurt¡ much.¡±
Regina had no time to think.
With a level of gymnastic ability Regina had never realized she possessed, her hand shot out and¡
¡unerringly knocked the compact flying into the air-
Showering everyone but her with powder as she dove to the side to avoid the spray.
Regina stared at five of the most powerful noblemen in Carcosa that she had just covered in potential poison. There was only one thought left in her mind.
¡®Perhaps if I actually kill off the entire backbone of the upper nobility, my family might help me live out of sheer joy at their new political position.¡¯
Unfortunately, it soon became clear that nobody in this room was going to die immediately, thus meaning that Regina actually had to deal with the situation. In a fit of terror and panic, Regina borrowed the spirit of the only person who could help her¡ Artem at his most ridiculous.
¡°I am but a pale moon in the presence of so many beautiful suns!¡± she said, babbling but trying to desperately remember some of Artem¡¯s more poetic lines. ¡°Such color is only meant for people as ¨C er ¨C as already colorful as all of you! So¡ so¡ so what can I do but share the bounty from Marquess La Belle¡¯s hand?!¡±
Regina braced herself, wondering how quickly she would die for not only the initial powder, but the insult of her stupid words. Would it be through a quick thrust or would someone challenge her to a magical duel? Which would be less painful?
As Regina closed her eyes in resignation, she suddenly opened them in shock as¡
¡she felt her hand grasped and then kissed by Marquess La Belle.
¡°My dearest princess!¡± the marquess cried, his eyes now alight with wonder rather than deep irritation. ¡°I had no idea you valued beauty so deeply! Indeed¡¡±
Now, the marquess sighed as he closed his eyes, seeming overcome.
¡°Even if you have no beauty of your own,¡± Marquess La Belle tenderly said, ¡°you can still see it in others, particularly me. My dear princess, even as you are as plain as a piece of paper, your discernment makes you worth cultivating.¡±
¡°Er,¡± Regina replied, managing a tight smile. ¡°How very¡ kind of you to see that in me.¡±
¡°Indeed!¡± Marquess Poisson cried, coming to hold Regina¡¯s other hand as she now turned to him in dumbfounded shock. ¡°Your eloquence is far beyond what I expected. If your schedule allows in the days to come, please do visit one of our parties!¡±
Apparently feeling left out, Duke Neville and Lord Robin then approached, though the former seemed far less enamored with Regina than the other victims of her panic.
¡°I, too, thank you for your compliment,¡± Duke Neville said dryly, ¡°as well as the notion that my complexion needed powdering.¡±
Before Regina could apologize, Duke Neville snapped his fingers and Robin held out a lovely white flower that Regina had never previously seen.
¡°In return for my burst of color,¡± the Duke said, ¡°I would have the pale moon accept an equally pale flower. What do you say, my lady?¡±
Thus, Regina was left to stare in horror as Robin¡¯s flower-holding hand came ever close to her as her hands were held captive ¨C
¡°I am the palest moon here,¡± the silver-haired Duke interrupted calmly as the rest of the room gawked at him. ¡°So this present should belong to me.¡±
With those words, Duke Kuzey suddenly sent a wave of ice around the flower, pulling it toward him before crushing the poor bloom.
For a frozen moment, Regina could only stare at the Duke of the North¡¯s casual display of power. As the shock slowly released its hold, Regina realized that Duke Kuzey was not only strange but also terrifyingly powerful¡ and dangerous.
Then, with an agility she had never seen in the man who mostly resembled a frozen pole, Duke Kuzey disentangled her hands from the two marquesses and spun her around three times, until she was away from all the other nobles the room contained.
Turning to Regina with unblinking eyes, the Duke Kuzey whispered, ¡°Even if you are unlike a three-headed raccoon and cannot turn your head in all directions for attacks, I admire how well you twist. It is entertaining. Therefore, I am going to give you a chance to prove yourself agile.¡±
As Regina stumbled back in shock, Duke Kuzey turned around, bowed to the rest of the nobles and said, ¡°While our future princess occupies herself with the rest of her preparations for her ball, I have prepared a sign of friendship for my fellow lords.¡±
With a flourish, Duke Kuzey produced two blades made of glittering ice for himself¡ before making copies for every other man in the room.
¡°Tell me,¡± Duke Kuzey said with soft, silky menace. ¡°Have any of you gentlemen heard of the Northern custom of sword dancing?¡±
On that ominous note, Regina decided to take advantage of the distraction and flee.
It was only once she had entered the convenient archway that she realized she was back in the same strange hallway that had vanished before her previously. As she tried to determine how that had happened, it was less of a surprise when she looked up and the same elegant but eerie red-headed servant was standing in front of her once more.
¡°My lady,¡± the servant, now a butler once more, said softly. ¡°If you would please follow me, Prince Artem and his¡ special guests have been waiting for you and time is a terrible thing to waste.¡±
¡°Special guests?¡± Regina cried. ¡°Who? What? When? Where? How do you change outfits so quickly?!¡±
The servant did not answer and Regina followed as if her feet were moving on their own.
¡°I know,¡± she said softly, ¡°that time is precious, but what can I do when I have so little of it?¡±
For the first time, the servant paused in their stride and looked back at her, golden eyes flashing.
¡°Perhaps,¡± they said mildly, ¡°you need to find the time that was taken¡ and take it back.¡±
As Regina stared in utter horror, the world seemed to shift around her and her head ached and her eyes closed¡
When she re-opened her eyes, Regina frowned.
¡°What was I doing?¡± she said.
Shrugging, she continued forward into the strangely familiar garden.
¡°Perhaps,¡± she said with a soft smile, ¡°I do have time to smell the flowers.¡±
Chapter 12: Of Falseness and Frolics
Regina soon found herself wandering through the strangely familiar garden¡ one that she could have sworn she had somehow visited previously.
That was impossible since she had been nowhere but in her family¡¯s manor, townhouse, and now the royal palace¡
¡°Of course,¡± Regina muttered as she reached out a hand toward a nearby rose before hastily retracting it. ¡°I must have seen this place while having a vision of Artem, which means this is¡¡±
¡°The palace gardens!¡± a joyous voice cried before the man in question came rushing to her side, seemingly materializing out of the bushes. ¡°Regina, my beloved, I knew I heard your dulcet tones!¡±
He then gallantly took her arm and escorted a surprised Regina to the ugliest fountain she had ever seen. The ugliness of the fountain was less of a surprise than his appearance since the Alpins¡¯ taste in decorations seemed to exist in a negative correlation to their wealth.
However, Regina had little time to think on the relationship between taste and wealth before Artem said, ¡°You are so wise to realize where the tea party was without me even telling you! In fact, I am surprised you even knew about this party. I meant it to be a surprise that I would escort you to.¡±
¡°Oh,¡± Regina said, blinking hard. ¡°So you did not send that strange red-headed servant ¨C¡±
Regina winced as her head ached briefly and she almost immediately forgot what she had just said.
Looking at Artem¡¯s pretty yet perplexed face, Regina hastily said, ¡°Never mind. My, uhm, love for you must have guided me to wherever you happened to be.¡±
Given how thrilled Artem looked at her words, Regina softened and felt the tight ball of anxiety in her chest momentarily relax.
Perhaps she could rest now that she was with one of the few people she could trust.
Indeed, maybe she and Artem could even take a moment to share what she had hoped for when he had tried to sneak into her bedroom.
After all, Artem would surely forgive her even if she fumbled a bit during their first kiss. If he cared for her so deeply, perhaps they could grow more experienced together.
So, with hope finally budding in her heart, Regina turned to Artem, gave him her sweetest smile and ¨C
Jumped back half a foot when she heard a woman say, ¡°Darling, did you find your lovely bride at long last? I cannot wait to meet her properly!¡±
That was when Artem, apparently blind to Regina¡¯s amorous attentions, cheerfully threaded his arm through Regina¡¯s as he frolicked them past the last set of flowery hedges..
¡and straight into a large group of nobles centered around a woman who looked terrifyingly familiar.
¡°Oh my darling,¡± the woman said, even as her enormous golden crown glittered against her blood-red curls. ¡°Your bride-to-be looks like such fun!¡±
Staring at Queen Natasha Alpin, Regina suddenly realized that Artem¡¯s delicate, flower-like beauty obviously came from his maternal rather than paternal line¡
¡and that Regina was going to meet her mother-in-law for the first time in front of a giant audience and her frolicking fianc¨¦ while fearing for her life.
¡°Thank you,¡± Regina managed to say, before she found herself rushed into a seat to the right of the Queen, surveyed by twenty pairs of intensely focused eyes.
Then, to Regina¡¯s intense horror, she found a cup of tea shoved into her nerveless hands while a wide range of pretty and potentially poisoned pastries were placed in front of her.
¡°So tell me,¡± Queen Natasha cheerfully said as Regina tried to stop herself from flinging herself into the nearest flowerbeds. ¡°What are your thoughts about concealed weapons?¡±
Regina then endured the strangest conversation she had ever had in her life thus far, which was truly saying something given the past month.
Though she had no idea why her future mother-in-law wanted to know her opinions on climbing out of bedroom windows, hiding in curtains, and the best way to conceal a knife (all of which she could answer based on her recent escapades, paranoia about assassins, and experience with her mother) ¨C
Regina quickly realized that she had to do something ¨C anything! ¨C to get out of this tea party.
The longer she stayed, the more information Regina would give about just how prepared she was to fend off death¡
¡and who knew which of the nobles around her knew or might even be her assassin?
So Regina stood up from the table with a jolt, realizing that every second was a second closer to a slow-acting poison that would leave her smothered under an incredibly ugly feet fish mask.
Yet somehow, after all of her stress, after all of her troubles, after all the bizarre experience she had endured on this day alone¡
Regina realized that her overwhelmed mind had gone blissfully and utterly blank.
So from a deep place within herself, Regina found the voice of the only person who could possibly talk their way out of this situation¡
"Alas, my queen!¡± Regina cried, even as she discreetly set down her potentially poisoned tea without taking a single sip. ¡°I cannot taste of earthly delights when my spirit is so light. For you see, my soul must feast even before I taste any sweets or tea! My soul must¡"
Regina closed her eyes, channeling the only man who had ever loved her in this life.
¡°Frolic.¡±
Regina rose from her chair, not looking at the Queen or the flabbergasted courtiers.
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Instead, she walked woodenly over to the middle of the clearing and began to do her best imitation of Artem.
Unfortunately, a few seconds in, Regina became aware that Artem had made his favorite past-time look easy¡ and that all of his grace had obviously been lost on his bride-to-be.
Before Regina could make even more of a miserable fool of herself in front of her future mother-in-law and her court¡
¡She felt a gentle hand settle on her arm and guide her flailing limbs into a smoother, more joyful rhythm.
Regina looked up, barely able to believe what was happening¡ and saw Artem gazing into her eyes with an expression so gentle and supportive that it took every ounce of strength Regina had not to burst into tears.
"No one," said Artem, in a voice that allowed for no contradiction, "frolics like my darling sea urchin."
Regina was not entirely sure what a sea urchin was. She was not even sure that being called a disheveled orphan of the sea was a compliment. Even so, she had never been more grateful to another person than she was to Artem at that moment.
With her hand against his own as he gallantly supported her, Regina began to frolic with a lightness she had never even imagined possible for herself.
Her eyes locked on his, Regina could feel her limbs move and drift as they swayed and bounced and rocked to a rhythm that Artem effortlessly set.
It was all so simple and warm and gentle and easy, as effortless as a leaf dancing in the wind, as soothing as an unpoisoned cup of tea.
Somewhere behind her, she could vaguely hear nobles chattering in ways she would have once cared about deeply ¨C
Yet all she could see now was Artem¡¯s beautiful, bright blue eyes and smile as they frolicked with complete and utter delight.
Finally, somewhere behind her, she vaguely heard the Queen say, "What a marvelous creature! You must frolic harder to keep her, my darling!"
Regina froze, a cold wash of confusion and fear spreading through her.
Even as Regina turned, thinking she had misunderstood the Queen''s words¡
She saw the way that the courtiers once surrounding the queen all moved forward and respectfully bowed to Regina.
Dazed and amazed, Regina realized that she had somehow survived yet another occasion for death.
Yet before she could thank Artem for rescuing her from dire humiliation, she heard a very dry voice that had previously lived only in her nightmares.
"I am not sure," that voice said, "that the palace can survive this much frolicking on a consistent basis."
Crown Prince Aaron had arrived.
~???~
Regina had no positive feelings for the man she only knew through her dreams of him destroying her life¡ but she had to admit that he was very effective at making people not want to be around him.
Whether that was a useful skill for a future king was another question entirely.
Either way, upon Prince Aaron''s entrance, the nobles vanished as if they had never been there at all.
When the crown prince turned towards his step-mother she languidly rose from her seat as well.
In fact, Queen Nathasha sauntered up to Prince Aaron and gently pinched his cheek while saying, "You could do with some frolicking yourself. You keep souring your face like this and it will stay that way."
"I have been told," said Prince Aaron in a voice that was drier than Regina''s well of sympathy for him, "that people like my face."
"Well," returned the queen cheerfully, "just think about how much more powerful you would be if you genuinely smiled every year or so. We could make it a national holiday!"
Regina stared in horror at whatever motion it was that Prince Aaron made next with his face.
The Queen cocked her eyebrow. "We will work on it, my darling. Now I will let you children play while I go do boring things."
Based on the cheerfulness of her smile as she exited, Regina had the distinct impression that the Queen would have been well-pleased if they had all attempted to murder one another to provide her with further amusement.
Steeling herself as the Queen left, Regina curtsied, conscious of the frozen stiffness of Artem''s arm beneath hers.
"I greet the productive heir of the glorious makers of Carcosa," she murmured.
Prince Aaron waved his arm. "You are to be my sister. You need not be so formal."
Regina tensed, not entirely sure what he wanted since he had not actually told her how he wanted her to address him.
It turned out that was the least of her worries.
"After all," said Prince Aaron," I have already seen you frolicking less gracefully than my brother."
Artem immediately stiffened further.
"Are you," Artem said in a voice so sweet Regina wondered if he had misunderstood his brother, "implying my darling sea urchin is capable of anything less than the peak of frolicking?"
Prince Aaron looked at Regina so searchingly that Regina wondered if he could murder her with his gaze alone.
"...I would not dare," the crown prince said finally. "Although Artem, I do wonder what other skills your... remarkable fianc¨¦e possesses?"
The difference between the ice in Prince Aaron''s eyes and the bland neutrality of his voice made the hairs on Regina''s neck stand on end.
Was the crown prince fishing for her weakness?
Did Prince Aaron wish to blackmail her or frame her as he did in her visions?
Before Regina could gather her fearful thoughts, Artem started speaking¡ and Regina immediately wished he had chosen to remain silent.
"Regina is the best at everything," Artem hotly said. "She can climb and yell and make people do whatever she wants them to and I want her to do all of those things to me for the rest of our lives!"
He pulled her so close, that Regina could hear his heart, taste the sweet scent that somehow always followed him.
"She is perfect," Artem said and to her shock, Regina realized he meant it.
Something strange passed over Prince Aaron''s face as he looked at the two of them and Regina had no way of understanding what it was.
"How could I dare contradict my little brother?" Prince Aaron dryly stated.
That was when Regina decided that she had endured enough.
After all, it was bad enough that she had to sit there being interrogated and dryly insulted, but she would not stand to see her gentle and supportive Artem being abused!
She might as well prove she was as mad and terrible as Artem had implied.
"Oh dear," Regina said in her sweetest tones, "my darling dove and I need to go celebrate our love with my family, so you must please excuse us."
Yet before she could depart with Artem in a huff, the crown prince interrupted her.
"What a coincidence," said Prince Aaron. "It seems like I am your family now too."
With a gesture that would have been gallant if it was performed by anyone but him, Prince Aaron offered Regina his arm, an arm she begrudgingly took even as she tightened her grip on Artem, still on her other side.
Prince Aaron¡¯s smile was no more pleasant than it had been on the first occasion she had seen it¡ in her first vision, right before she had been taken away in chains.
¡°Come, sister,¡± her nightmare said. ¡°Let my brother and I escort you back to your quarters.¡±
Chapter 13: Waltzes with Feet Fish
Regina was still seething when she arrived back at her quarters, both princes in tow.
She was not sure how Crown Prince Aaron had invited himself along, but he had proven impossible to shake. Even before Regina had tried to tell the crown prince that she and Artem needed privacy to do some, er, prancing, Aaron had pointed out that Regina might not know her way back to her own quarters.
¡°Besides,¡± Aaron said with a smile that reminded Regina of something with too much teeth and too little food, ¡°I wish to know more about my dear brother¡¯s bride-to-be. Artem, will you not tell me more of her?¡±
Artem had seemed delighted to do so¡ and had immediately started a soliloquy of Regina¡¯s virtues (many of which seemed to revolve around her willingness to tell him what to do and how to do it). Regina had not previously believed it was possible to die of embarrassment, but she was learning many things in this brave new adventure. However, her embarrassment did not stop her from sneaking discreet looks at Prince Aaron¡¯s icy face, in a kind of horrified fascination.
Aaron seemed as convinced of Regina¡¯s virtues as she was of his, even though Artem kindly began describing the wonders of his brother midway through their walk.
By the time they arrived at Regina¡¯s quarters, Regina was thoroughly sick of being told that Aaron was the kindest, most gracious, most supportive older brother Artem could have, especially since Aaron had not tried to assassinate Artem even once!
(That Artem spoke of this like it was a world-shaking revelation suggested that the Alpin family was about as kind and loving as Regina¡¯s own beloved Sheridans.)
Regardless, Regina had a sneaking suspicion that even if Prince Aaron was a loving brother, which might even be true, given that Prince Aaron kept all of Artem¡¯s pressed flowers in his room, Prince Aaron did not think Regina was good enough for his younger brother.
That impression was only compounded when Prince Aaron gave her an overly-deep bow when they parted and said, through that terrifying smile, ¡°It was a pleasure to meet you, Lady Regina. I hope that every meeting of ours can be just as¡ enlightening.¡±
Regina had managed a tight smile back and avoided allowing the crown prince to kiss her hands by throwing herself at Artem.
That was thankfully enough to drive back even the crown prince, who made a hasty retreat as she began pre-frolicking motions with an always-eager Artem.
Yet once Prince Aaron was gone, Regina abruptly stopped, much to Artem¡¯s confusion.
¡°What is it, my sweet sea urchin?¡± poor Artem asked, his limbs frozen mid-skip. ¡°Are you all right?¡±
Then, looking worried, Artem gently asked, ¡°Are you tired because you did not get to eat or drink anything at the tea party? Would you like me to order a meal?¡±
Touched by his concern, Regina smiled before saying, ¡°I do feel tired. However, instead of eating, I think I would like something else.¡±
Suddenly looking more flushed than before, Artem whispered, ¡°What might that be, my sweet lady?¡±
Regina just looked at him with a flush on her own face, deciding that after all the rigors of this day, she deserved a little treat.
So, smiling with actual sincerity, she drew closer to her pretty prince and whispered, ¡°Well, I was thinking¡¡±
That was when Henrietta, with her usual impeccable timing, opened the door and bluntly said, ¡°No time for romance, Regina. We have an emergency.¡±
Wild-eyed and wondering why the world hated her so, Regina spun towards the door..
¡°Your dress for the engagement ball,¡± Henrietta ominously said, ¡°is finally here.¡±
~???~
Five hours later, Regina emerged from the room in all her finery with a haunted look in her eyes.
Her cousin looked at her with such concern that Regina almost wanted to hit her.
¡°Are you going to be well tonight?¡± said Henrietta.
Regina thought woefully of the ribs that she was sure she no longer had, as well as the sheer amount of paint that she could peel from her face to distract potential murderers.
Perhaps, Regina thought, she could simply remove her skirt and have it form a deep wall between her and any pursuers since it weighed nearly as much as she did.
¡°Why,¡± Regina said, pasting a charming smile on her face, ¡°would I be anything but ecstatic?¡±
Henrietta winced and took a few steps away from her.
Perhaps, Regina thought, she needed to show less teeth when she was trying for a charming smile.
With that in mind, Regina nodded at her cousin, picked up her ridiculously heavy skirts, and began to heave her way to the hall that would eventually lead her to her engagement ball¡
The engagement ball where she had previously been condemned and then later murdered.
¡°Come,¡± Regina grimly said, anticipating the start of another night spent dodging assassins. ¡°Let us see what horrors this lovely evening holds.¡±
~???~
From the start of the ball, Regina had been on high alert. After all, during the last engagement ball she had seen in her visions, she had been accused of being a villainess and thrown straight to ¡®house arrest¡¯, which had gotten her killed in a carriage ¡®accident¡¯ with remarkable speed.
Regina doubted she would be accused of being a villainess again. She had literally had witnesses surrounding her for almost the entire day and anyway, Artem would try to defend her. However, she knew a poison-happy assassin was still lurking somewhere in this hellish party.
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Thus, during the ball itself, Regina avoided food, drink, and dying with as much grace as possible.
¡®At least,¡¯ Regina wryly thought as she fended off one noble after another with a tight smile and a terrifyingly large skirt, ¡®this ridiculous outfit serves as a barrier between me and the rest of the world.¡¯
Indeed, this evening was teaching Regina the trick to being royalty. Apparently the secret to power was to just look like you meant to do whatever you were doing and people would allow you to do so without fussing, so long as you glared sufficiently at anyone who tried to interrupt.
Thus, Regina literally swept people away with her giant skirt and its attendant train and looked so imperious that the nobles seemed impressed by her antisocial activities.
Still, even she could not forever avoid the train of nobles who approached her to dance. She had tried using the strangely feathered fan that Artem had gifted her and saying she could not possibly dance with anyone other than her darling fiance, but even that was eventually insufficient.
She knew it was over when Duke Kuzey started walking towards her.
As Regina bowed, Duke Kuzey said that he admired how she managed to get a feet fish¡¯s feathers to make her fan¡
¡And that he hoped it would not come back to reclaim its feathers.
Regina managed a smile at that, even as her mask of royal amusement threatened to crack.
¡°Is that,¡± Regina said,, ¡°an act common among feet fish?¡±
¡°If you dance with me,¡± Duke Kuzey said, raising an eyebrow in a way that impressed Regina since she had begun to assume that his face had a single expression, ¡°I will tell you more.¡±
Regina smiled with as much teeth as a feet fish possessed according to the mask left on her dream-corpse and extended her hand to his own.
Regina was not sure what she expected from a dance with Duke Kuzey, but it was probably not that he was the best dancer that she had yet encountered. It appeared that the North had opportunities for both fighting monsters and very rigorous dancing lessons.
The contrast was so great that Regina found herself unable to avoid commenting on it, especially since Duke Kuzey seemed unwilling to start the conversation he had promised her.
¡°I must admit,¡± said Regina, smoothly moving into a rather complex series of steps that she knew would have resulted in her imminent death by tangled limbs without a lead as talented as the Duke, ¡°I did not expect your dancing prowess to equal your talents in bringing all conversation back to feet fish.¡±
Regina realized, half a second too late, that that was perhaps a little too honest for a royal conversation.
Then she nearly died of lack of breath when Duke Kuzey¡ smiled.
¡°I knew that you were wise enough to understand the importance of feet fish,¡± said Duke Kuzey, as Regina numbly wondered if the sheer beauty of a smiling Kuzey allowed them to be so effective at destroying their enemies.
¡°As for the dancing,¡± said Duke Kuzey, expertly weaving her between the couples around them, ¡°as you have so cleverly realized, we train in it so that we can fight the feet fish in their traditional dance battles.¡±
¡°Of course,¡± Regina numbly replied. ¡°How else would you fight a fish with many feet except in a¡ dance battle.¡±
Duke Kuzey frowned at the crowd around them and said in obvious disappointment, ¡°Not a single person here would survive the first gavotte.¡±
As Regina wondered if she would survive her first gavotte, she decided to change the subject ¨C especially since an annoyed Duke Kuzey seemed to do even more complex dance steps than before.
¡°Your grace!¡± said Regina. ¡°You mentioned that you had something to discuss with me before our dance!¡±
The Duke¡¯s face returned to the one neutral expression Regina recognized as if his previous joy and annoyance had never happened.
¡°You are playing a very dangerous game,¡± said the Duke, staring at the feathers on Regina¡¯s fan. ¡°Provoking a¡ feet fish by taking something they consider theirs means that you will never be safe again, not until the¡ feet fish is dead.¡±
¡°Do feet fish really,¡± said Regina, feeling increasingly nervous, ¡°care so much about their feathers?¡±
The Duke moved her into a position where his breath was close enough to her ear that it traced her flesh as he spoke.
¡°It is not the feathers that enrage them,¡± said the Duke softly. ¡°It is that you have made them lesser by showing your strength. The woods are a dangerous place when you have angered those who control it.¡±
Regina was still unsure why the Duke had decided to provide her with details on feet fish anatomy and habitat, but she made a mental note to cross any idea of the North off her list of ¡°remote places where Artem and I can pretend to be potatoes¡±.
¡°Well,¡± said Regina with a shrug, ¡°I could just get rid of the fan and let them fight over a handful of feathers by themselves.¡±
The laughter of Duke Kuzey was the most terrifying thing Regina had ever heard.
¡°My lady,¡± he said when the terrifying sound ended, ¡°perhaps you can survive this dance after all.¡±
¡°Well not if you keep spinning me this rapidly,¡± said Regina crossly, coming to the very end of her very limited social etiquette abilities.
¡°Then take care that you do not let the Alpins spin you,¡± said Duke Kuzey, even as he did a much gentler turn to bring Regina back to position.
Regina had no idea how they had moved from feathers to Alpins, but it was as dizzying as every other part of this particular dance.
¡°Why,¡± said Regina, raising an eyebrow of her own, ¡°should I fear the Alpins, my beloved in-laws to be?¡±
¡®Other than the fact,¡¯ Regina thought silently, ¡®that they betrayed and probably murdered me in my first vision of the future.¡¯
Duke Kuzey looked at her for a long moment before he spoke, slowly and deliberately. ¡°The Alpins enjoy precious things, unusual things, things with power¡¡±
Regina wondered what exactly he was implying about her before he suddenly drew close again and continued.
¡°...So long as they control those things. Should a treasure move beyond their reach, they will ensure it is either returned¡ or destroyed.¡±
Regina frowned. ¡°I do not do well with metaphors, Duke Kuzey.¡±
Duke Kuzey shrugged. ¡°Kuzeys do not believe in metaphors.¡±
Regina was honestly not sure if that made their conversation more or less confusing.
¡°Sometimes though,¡± Duke Kuzey continued, slowing their movements to nothing, and nodding his head towards the many metal ornaments around the room, ¡°we all need to use things we do not believe in.¡±
With that, Duke Kuzey drifted away¡ leaving Regina with the next nobleman in line¡ as well as a baffled head full of feet fish, feathers, and a thorough conviction that the North would never be a vacation destination.
It was only a gentle cough that brought Regina back to reality and made her realize she was ignoring the nobleman in front of her.
¡°Lord Robin Buren,¡± Regina said, remembering his earlier flirtations¡ and the moon-pale flower he had previously created for her. ¡°What an unexpected pleasure.¡±
Smiling, Robin held out his currently flowerless hand and reached for hers.
¡°My princess,¡± he said. ¡°Will you do me the honor?¡±
Chapter 14: A Rose by Any Other Name
Soon after, Regina found herself dancing in Robin Buren¡¯s arms, though her skirt kept her far away enough that she could only faintly smell the flowers that his family magic produced.
¡°Would it be rude,¡± Regina wondered out loud as she stared at Robin¡¯s smiling face and riot of green-and-brown hair, ¡°to ask if that partially grassy hair of yours is a family trait?¡±
As Regina watched Robin¡¯s smile turn into a more wolfish smirk, Regina realized she truly had no idea what safe social topics of conversation were after years of pretending to be as close to mute as possible.
¡°Well,¡± Robin replied with a hint of laughter in his voice, ¡°I am glad that you are concerned about what children in my family might¡ inherit. Normally, when people ask about the color of my hair, they wonder how far it extends.¡±
Regina stared at Robin in complete confusion before she frowned.
¡°As fascinating as that question is,¡± she said with a raised eyebrow, ¡°you still did not answer my question.¡±
¡°No, that did not answer your question,¡± Robin agreed easily, spinning her in a way that defied reality considering the volume of fabric between her and him. ¡°However, inheritance is always a tricky subject in Carcosan families, is it not?¡±
Regina had to momentarily close her eyes to avoid thinking about the lengths her family went to to ensure only the worthy inherited anything useful from them.
¡°Indeed,¡± she finally managed after a long and awkward silence ensued. ¡°Depending on your noble family to give you anything worth inheriting can be a¡ dangerous tactic.¡±
Something flashed within Robin¡¯s green-hazel eyes before he softened his face into another pretty and polished smile.
¡°Are you saying my grassy hair is a dangerous inheritance?¡± he asked, his tone light and sweet. ¡°That does seem reasonable since it is the common feature of¡ most Burens and once people see it, they apparently expect a bouquet of flowers.¡±
¡°So,¡± said Regina dryly, ¡°it is possible for you to answer a question, but only if you can make it into a joke.¡±
¡°A joke?¡± said Robin, bringing his hand, and thus hers, to his chest in mock offense. ¡°Do you not see how I am withering away from constantly providing a lovely lady with blooms to match her own budding beauty?¡±
To Regina¡¯s sudden frozen horror, she realized that there was something under her hand other than Robin Buren¡¯s chest.
Pulling her suddenly shaking fingers backwards, she stared numbly at the pink blossom between her thumb and forefinger.
Something else passed over Robin¡¯s face that Regina could not quite recognize.
She thought that on another person, it might have almost been sorrow.
Yet before she could try to overcome her own fear, the magically conjured flower was gone from her fingers and Robin was smiling again, almost gently.
¡°Oleander,¡± he said softly. ¡°I would not recommend eating that flower, but should you manage to avoid throwing it into your mouth, it is quite safe to touch.¡±
For a moment, Regina just stared at Robin¡¯s face before a smile flitted over her own.
¡°Thank you,¡± she said, ¡°for the dining suggestion. I will do my best to ensure I do not bite into the next blossom you bring.¡±
Robin¡¯s strange smile melted away into an odd peal of laughter at that ¨C one that made him go from being a polished piece of perfection to someone who seemed a little more¡ real.
¡°I could bring you candied roses next time,¡± he suggested with a playful wink, even as he continued expertly guiding Regina through the dance steps. ¡°Would that be enough to satisfy you?¡±
¡°No,¡± Regina admitted, something about Robin¡¯s playfulness loosening her tongue. ¡°I would rather you serve me with the truth. I keep seeing you all the time in the capital as a representative of the Buren family. Does that mean you are inheriting something great from them?¡±
After all, Regina had wondered why Robin Buren was in the company of far more powerful noblemen like Dukes Neville and Kuzey, even though he was not the current Duke Buren.
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Was Robin somehow in the family¡¯s direct line of inheritance? Or was there some other reason he was his family¡¯s representative?
Regina was even more startled when Robin threw back his head and let out a completely unconstrained full-throated laugh, even as he somehow spun her far closer than her skirts should have allowed.
¡°Oh my lady,¡± Robin finally said, his voice still vibrating faintly with laughter. ¡°You are far too charming and amusing to have stayed hidden for as long as you have.¡±
Before she could even respond to that, Robin continued in a strange, almost thoughtful tone of voice.
¡°Inheriting something great? That is an interesting way to perceive it. My second cousin will be Duke Buren and I¡ gain the other inheritance of our family.¡±
Regina blinked, barely holding back her shock that Robin Buren was not the heir to the Buren duchy.
Why would the powerful and important Duke Neville ¨C the greatest ally and perhaps even patron of the Buren family ¨C even bother to spend time with Robin if Robin was not also the highest power in his own family?
¡°You do enjoy asking the difficult questions, do you not?¡± said Robin, a tinge of something sharper over his amusement as Regina realized in horror that she had spoken her question aloud.
Something passed over Robin¡¯s face once again, too quick to read before he seemed to come to some decision.
¡°You have not been taught by your family as you should have been,¡± said Robin, more direct and blunt than she had yet heard him. ¡°You are far more naive than any noble lady should be.¡±
¡°I cannot disagree,¡± said Regina, too confused to be offended. She knew better than anyone else that she had spent far more time learning to dodge death than attend to her etiquette and dress. That was precisely why she wanted to leave the Capital for a nice countryside estate as soon as she and Artem were wed!
¡°Then let me give you some advice,¡± said Robin, his voice somehow containing both steel and sorrow. ¡°No family comes to power in Carcosa without sacrificing some of their own.¡±
Regina froze in his arms, stumbling as she had not yet in her entire time on the floor.
By the blood, she thought as she frantically stared at Robin¡¯s suddenly blank face. Does this man somehow know that my family has been killing off their magical failures all of these years?!
The only reason she did not end up stumbling was because Robin was strong enough to physically lift and move her ¨C indeed, he managed to turn her so well that to any outside observer, they would seem to be dancing perfectly.
¡°I do not know your secrets, my lady,¡± Robin responded in a soft whisper meant only for her, even as she startled at his acumen. ¡°My words of advice apply not just to you but to all noble families. After all¡¡±
He turned so smoothly that it was effortless to move with him, even as his hazel eyes burned like fire.
¡°Carcosa is a cursed land,¡± Robin softly said, ¡°because all the nobles in it endlessly jockey for power. Families go to war with one another to be the greatest power in their little fiefdom, then ally or war with other families for yet more. Are the Sheridans somehow an exception to this shining standard of noble conduct?¡±
Regina was almost tempted to laugh, though his words were so honest it hurt her heart.
¡°No,¡± she finally said after he spun her once more. ¡°No. No. No.¡±
¡°From the first moment I looked at you,¡± Robin quietly said, ¡°I had a feeling it was so.¡±
Then Robin gently guided her into another turn before continuing on.
¡°Let me teach you a little of the history of my part of Carcosa,¡± said Robin as if he was not confessing something far too intimate to her.
¡°The Nevilles are far more powerful than the Burens,¡± Robin said with a strange, almost terrible smile, ¡°but even so, they need us. They would never admit it but they need us in ways they would never confess to others.
¡°Likewise,¡± Robin continued, his voice light and sparkling, ¡° I am far less politically powerful than my cousins in the main branch who sit on the vast estate and make beautiful bouquets. Yet even so¡¡±
Robin¡¯s eyes were as soft and dark as wild flowers that might teem with hidden teeth.
¡°Even so, they still need me.¡±
Suddenly, Regina was against his chest, his mouth pressed against her ear in a way that was both intense and almost ¨C almost thrilling.
¡°So if you wish to find a future, determine who needs you¡ and never let them know you need them in turn.¡±
Although her voice almost seemed to be drowned beneath the sound of her own heart furiously beating, Regina quietly asked: ¡°Are you saying that there is no one in Carcosa I can ever rely on ¨C or trust?¡±
The gentle, almost pained look on Robin¡¯s face said everything and nothing.
For a moment, Regina could only stare at Robin Buren and wonder why he had told her so much about him ¨C and what he wanted her to do going forward.
Then ¨C perfectly in time to the fading sounds of music ¨C Robin stepped back, executed a bow, and turned away¡
Leaving Regina to dance with someone who terrified and confused her even more.
Crown Prince Aaron Alpin ¨C the man who had watched Regina be condemned in a vision without so much as a blink ¨C took command of her hand in a single fluid moment that might have mesmerized her in less fraught circumstances.
¡°My dear sister-to-be,¡± Prince Aaron said, and smiled in a way that reminded Regina of sharks circling a drowning body. ¡°Would you care to dance with me?¡±
Chapter 15: Dancing with the Moon and Sun
Regina did not want to dance with Crown Prince Aaron Artem, her future brother-in-law and potential past and future murderer.
Regina did not want to do many things, including but not limited to: socializing, wearing giant skirts, crawling through hedges, and being forced to listen to lengthy monologues from people more powerful than her.
However, what Regina most wanted to do was not die, so she managed something that she hoped was a smile and replied, ¡°I would be happy to dance with you.¡±
It was, Regina reflected, not entirely untrue. She was happier to dance with Crown Prince Aaron Alpin than have him execute her on the spot.
However, this was a feeling she would soon regret.
¡°Then I am happy,¡± said the Crown Prince, as he smoothly moved Regina into position, ¡°to have the opportunity to learn more about my new¡ sister.¡±
¡°I do not know why,¡± Regina automatically responded, mind racing with what the man who had her killed in her prophetic dream could possibly want to know about her, ¡°I am very¡ boring.¡±
The look in Prince Aaron¡¯s eye made a cold drop of sweat start at the base of her neck.
¡°I have been,¡± Regina added, trying hard to keep her voice sounding helpful, ¡°compared to porridge, the color beige, and a large rock my uncle once tripped over in the Sheridan garden.¡±
¡°Porridge?¡± said the Crown Prince, almost musingly. ¡°I admit that I am very interested in your¡ tastes. Is that a food you enjoy?¡±
Regina froze in place, only barely managing to avoid falling because Prince Aaron was both skilled and strong enough to maneuver her body before she could start moving again.
Was Artem¡¯s brother trying to determine how to best poison her?
If so, she needed to find a way to convince him she was neither a threat nor of any interest at all.
¡°Absolutely,¡± Regina said, trying to look as though she enjoyed the blandest food in Carcosa as much as she enjoyed evading the persistent grasp of death. ¡°I once won a contest in my family for both regurgitating and resembling the most bowls of porridge.¡±
The look of mingled confusion and distaste on the Crown Prince¡¯s face somehow resembled what Artem¡¯s face might look like if Regina had confessed she preferred more subdued jewels.
Unsure of what to say next, Regina added, ¡°Still, I do enjoy other foods. Plain bread. Boiled potatoes. Fried dough. If it is as bland and unseasoned as my person, I practically stuff it into my gullet!¡±
¡°Do you,¡± said the Crown Prince, with what Regina was sure was a thinly veiled look of contempt ¨C or worse ¨C curiosity, ¡°refuse other foods if they are not as inoffensive as your favorites? Is that why you have taken neither food nor drink tonight, even though you appear as if you will faint?¡±
The Crown Prince, Regina numbly realized , was trying to poison her.
He was also, she realized in dawning horror, staring closely at her face for her reaction to her question.
¡°No, never mind,¡± the Crown Prince said softly.
If Regina had not known better, he almost sounded tired.
¡°It is not always easy to perform to an audience,¡± he said, which Regina thought was an odd distraction from his previous question.
Even so, Regina was too grateful for the change of topic to care.
In fact, if Regina was not convinced Crown Prince Aaron Artem ¨C her future brother-in-law ¨C was trying to murder her, she might have even agreed that pretending to be something you are not to everyone around you was exhausting.
However, the last thing Regina wanted to do was sympathize with a man who she was increasingly convinced was after her death ¨C or at least, would not be displeased by it. For even if Prince Aaron was not actively trying to murder her, he kept asking questions that probed at her weaknesses.
Yet why, Regina thought as she forced a smile upon her face and let her possible murderer twirl her around, does the Crown Prince wish to murder me? I should not be in his way anymore, since we are no longer engaged and I should not be framed during this second engagement ball. All I want to do is get married to Artem ¨C
¡To Prince Artem Alpin, the only other remaining prince in the kingdom and thus, the only other possible contender to the position of King in Carcosa.
The sheer idea was absurd ¨C after all, Artem was sweet and gentle and about as power-hungry as a jewelry loving squirrel. Regina could not imagine Artem ever trying to depose his brother to be the highest power in the kingdom.
Yet if Prince Aaron suspected that Artem could become his rival for the kingship due to outside forces manipulating him¡
Forces such as the cunning and power-hungry manipulators in Regina¡¯s Sheridan family¡
Regina felt sweat roll down the back of her neck as she realized how the man currently holding her would benefit from her death ¨C and Artem¡¯s sudden lack of support from the Sheridan family.
¡°So,¡± she finally said as Crown Prince Aaron¡¯s blue eyes drilled holes into her, ¡°are you also a fan of unseasoned beige delicacies?¡±
¡°I admit,¡± said Prince Aaron, as he seemed to keenly eye the way Regina flinched as they got too close to the shadows at the edge of the dance floor, ¡°I have previously had a hard time seeing the appeal.¡±
He carefully spun her back into the light and Regina could only hope that he did not notice the way her shoulders involuntarily relaxed.
¡°I hope that this dance will help bring me closer to understanding,¡± he continued, his gaze still fixed on Regina in a way that reminded her of her father staring at a particularly difficult piece of accounting.
¡°You say,¡± Prince Aaron said, in a strange musing tone of voice, ¡°that you will be someone who sits in the background without stirring trouble.¡±
That was not in fact what Regina had said, but she was very happy to have that be the interpretation of her words.
¡°Oh yes,¡± she said, her eyes wide and hopeful. ¡°I pride myself on my ability to blend in with the wallpaper.¡±
¡°Was that why,¡± her future brother said in that same strange yet even tone, ¡°you were tossing the items around your room? So that you could more easily find the wallpaper?¡±
Regina froze for a moment, feeling as though she had been plunged in the same ice-water bath her maids had forced her into this morning to ensure her complexion would be as poreless as possible.
How did you even discover that? A part of her wanted to shriek. When I ransacked my room for poison, only Henrietta was nearby! Were you somehow lurking as well?!
Yet someone like Crown Prince Aaron Alpin, the heir to the throne of Carcosa, did not need to do any such thing to find out what Regina did inside his family¡¯s palace¡ or perhaps even out of it. He had more than enough power and gold to command a small army of spies, particularly at the seat of his family¡¯s powers.
As her parents had warned her, all eyes would be on her once she became engaged to one of only two princes in Carcosa.
She just did not know that some of those eyes would belong to a Crown Prince with the motivation to murder her.
Swallowing hard, Regina smiled and said, ¡°I am a very¡ particular kind of person which must be why¡ why Artem and I match so perfectly! Just as Artem would not abide by a single misplaced gem on his jewels, I cannot stand badly placed furniture in my rooms. After all¡¡±
Staring into Prince Aaron¡¯s eyes, Regina told the most outrageous lie she had ever heard in her life.
¡°I am,¡± said Regina with the full force of her sincere desire to live, ¡°allergic to other people¡¯s design decisions.¡±
Prince Aaron stared at her, momentarily stopping all movement.
¡°Yes,¡± said Regina, thinking of how other people placing objects that might kill her was a deadly form of an allergy. ¡°The very thought of other people arranging the spaces I inhabit makes it difficult for me to breathe.¡±
Prince Aaron spun her almost viciously before pulling her as close as her voluminous skirt would allow.
¡°Yet,¡± he said silkily, ¡°you claim to love everything my brother has designed for you.¡±
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¡°Of course I have!¡± said Regina, truly offended. ¡°Artem¡¯s designs are the only ones that do not harm me. That is why he is my perfect mate!¡±
For the first time in her dreams or reality, Regina had the odd pleasure of seeing Prince Aaron look genuinely startled.
¡°It is true then,¡± Prince Aaron said and Regina was not sure she was meant to hear it. ¡°Then I must¡¡±
The Crown Prince closed his eyes and took a deep breath before staring at Regina once again.
¡°Tell me,¡± said the Crown Prince, his voice as grim as his expression, ¡°how you feel about remote country estates¡ preferably ones surrounded by guards.¡±
By the blood, thought Regina in horror. She had somehow convinced Prince Aaron to want to send her into exile again, probably with another convenient carriage accident.
Yet before Prince Aaron could further terrify Regina with the prospect of exile followed by a highly convenient carriage accident¡
¡°As much as I love remote country estates,¡± an increasingly beloved voice brightly interrupted, ¡°I believe my sweet sea-urchin has spent the night waiting for me.¡±
Regina spun around so sharply that it was a wonder her ankles did not snap - though even if they did, she would consider it a price worth paying for the vision before her.
For there - looking resplendent as the sun in a suit of gold and white that perfectly matched her own gold-and-white gown - stood Prince Artem Alpin.
¡°My love,¡± Artem said, even as he extended his hand out to take Regina¡¯s own. ¡°Have you missed me?¡±
¡°Yes,¡± Regina replied, suddenly almost giddy with relief. ¡°You are the one and only person I have waiting for this entire evening.¡±
For a moment, Prince Aaron almost looked ¨C uncertain, his cold, handsome face suddenly wavering, as though he were uncertain whether he truly wanted Regina by Artem¡¯s side.
Yet in the next, his habitual hauteur reasserted itself and the crown prince offered Regina¡¯s hand to his younger half-brother.
¡°May you enjoy this night,¡± Prince Aaron told Artem, ¡°and not regret any of the others to come.¡±
¡°I would never,¡± Artem said, and then took Regina¡¯s hand and twirled her around until his handsome, giddy face was all she could see.
¡°Artem,¡± Regina whispered, relief flooding through her, ¡°you are here.¡±
¡°I am,¡± Artem gently replied. ¡°Will you forgive me for my tardiness? I had much to arrange this evening.¡±
At Regina¡¯s puzzled look, Artem just smiled, winked, and raised his hand¡
¡And Regina laughed as the orchestra suddenly switched over from a sedate waltz into an instrumental version of the song that he had serenaded Regina when he had tried to sneak into the Sheridan town house.
As pleased as she was surprised, Regina had to ask: ¡°How long have you been working on this song, Artem?¡±
Artem proudly responded: ¡°Every day since I heard of your engagement request to me!¡±
¡°Oh?!¡± Regina cried, despite herself. ¡°But it has already been a month since I asked my family to change my engagement partner from the Crown Prince to you! Did you really spend all that time on a song for me?¡±
¡°Of course I did,¡± Artem said, even as a blush began to bloom on his fair cheeks. ¡°How else could I thank you for actually choosing me?¡±
The unexpected poignancy of Artem¡¯s words stopped Regina in her tracks, before he gently led her to dance once more.
¡°Is that why you like me so much?¡± Regina asked, her eyes suddenly darting all over Artem¡¯s flushed face. ¡°Because I chose you even though I could have married your brother and become ¨C¡±
Well, not queen, since any engagement to Prince Aaron would have ended with her dead ¨C but it was not as though Artem knew differently.
¡°I love ¨C not merely like ¨C you for many reasons,¡± Artem said, even as his warm blue eyes met Regina and sent a thrill down her spine. ¡°I love you because you are strong and bold and firm and decisive and always know what to do in every situation.¡±
Regina, who had just spent the day making a fool of herself as she had attempted to dodge death at every turn, awkwardly laughed.
¡°So,¡± she said, flustered by both Artem¡¯s sincerity and misunderstanding of her, ¡°my choosing you has nothing to do with how much you love me?¡±
Artem¡¯s face was as flushed as ever ¨C but suddenly, his gaze were far more heated than before ¨C and his face closer than ever as his shining brooches migrated down and gently parted her voluminous skirt, allowing him to pull her closer.
¡°My sweet sea urchin,¡± Artem whispered as Regina¡¯s cheeks went flaming red. ¡°To be chosen by you is the deepest pleasure in all the world ¨C and I want to repay you in every way possible.¡±
For a moment, Regina was tempted to set aside her caution, set aside her propriety, even set aside her constant anxiety and fear ¨C to simply give herself up to this shimmering moment and lean into Artem and ¨C
Then she heard a very heavy cough come from the crowd ¨C more specifically, from Robin Buren, who coughed a bit more before he discreetly gestured at the enormous crowd of nobles staring at her¡
The enormous crowd of nobles who were obviously Regina up to see any weakness in her social armor --
And who would not hesitate to take advantage of any mistakes she might make.
¡°I take payment in both cash and credit,¡± Regina ended up babbling, even as she asserted her self-control and her skirts to brush Artem father away. ¡°What is your preferred method?¡±
Artem¡¯s hang-dog look spoke volumes in return, although he smiled bravely after a few minutes.
¡°Usually I just pick something out from the Alpin treasure room and transform it into jewelry as needed,¡± Artem said. ¡°So if it is payment you need, I will repay you when we have as soon as we have a private moment. Though perhaps¡¡±
Artem smiled so sweetly that Regina wanted to pummel Robin Buren for his interruption of their sweet moment, even if he meant it kindly.
¡°Perhaps we can even share other things?¡±
Regina stared at Artem¡¯s incredibly soft, delicate, beautifully-shaped lips and promised, ¡°Yes ¨C as soon as we are not surrounded by the most powerful nobles in the entire kingdom.¡±
¡That was when Regina realized she had never wondered why those very same people were here.
After all ¨C she suddenly wondered as she and Artem continued to dance ¨C why would the most powerful dukes and marquesses from territories all over Carcosa come to the capital city to witness the engagement of a second prince?
It made sense that the Dukes Neville, Buren, and Kuzey would travel from their far-away home territories to witness the engagement and then wedding of Crown Prince Aaron Alpin ¨C after all, he was to be their next king and his bride their next queen. It made perfect political sense for them to want to be present for such events.
Yet why would actual dukes and marquesses care about Artem¡¯s marriage? He was just a second prince that absolutely no one considered a serious contender for the throne or other forms of political power¡ at least so far. So the most prominent noble families of Carcosa ¨C the Nevilles, Burens, Kuzeys, Poissons, and La Belles ¨C could easily have sent mere representatives instead of their heads.
What made actual powerful dukes and marquesses and other nobles come flocking to the capital for Artem¡¯s engagement¡?
Yet before Regina could ponder on this question for much longer, she found the music winding down and the dance ending. Blinking hard, she saw Artem take several steps back from her and deeply bow ¨C which reminded her to gracelessly curtsy.
Then, to Regina¡¯s surprise, Artem slipped his hand into his trouser¡¯s pockets and took out a delicate velvet box¡
¡°Lady Regina Sheridan,¡± he said, his formal tone undercut by his sweetly blushing face, ¡°will you do me the honor of exchanging engagement rings with me?¡±
Which he opened to reveal a ring¡ a lovely golden band studded with precious stones that was perfectly suited to Regina¡¯s more delicate tastes.
¡°Of course,¡± Regina said, suddenly feeling a rush of warmth overtake her again, overcoming her past fears. ¡°I will cherish your ring forever.¡±
¡°Just as I will cherish yours,¡± Artem said ¨C and with his words, so sweetly meant, Regina suddenly realized that she had forgotten to bring his ring with her.
In fact, Regina did not have anything that could serve as his present, though a present always needed to be exchanged ¨C privately or at a ceremony ¨C to mark an engagement accepted by both parties.
Her parents had brought an elaborate ring for Artem to suit his tastes ¨C but Regina had left that on her dresser table as she had rushed about to avoid her murder¡ and she had no brooch or watch or tie-pin or gem-studded cravat to give in its place.
Even as Regina watched Artem¡¯s hopeful smile begin to falter as no present of any kind appeared, she wanted to slap herself for her own stupidity.
¡®How could I left his engagement gift behind?¡¯ she internally howled. ¡®Not only is Artem hurt by my thoughtlessness, his family will be upset by this snub and¡ and by the blood, what will my own family do now that I have humiliated them?!¡¯
Yet before Regina could make a hasty plan to tear into her skirt and fashion an impromptu cravat to give to Artem as a wedding present ¨C her homemade gift might make him happy, even if her family killed her for being an idiot afterwards ¨C she saw Artem¡¯s face change as he winked.
Then he gently placed his beautiful present on Regina¡¯s ring finger¡
Even as Regina realized her other hand ¨C once clasped in Artem¡¯s own ¨C now held something¡ heavy.
Slowly, Regina turned her hand over, opened her fingers ¨C
And almost dropped the engagement ring in it before Artem held her hand steady once more.
¡°This is,¡± Regina said, staring at the object that was now going to serve as Artem¡¯s engagement present, ¡°the largest and shiniest ring I have ever seen.¡±
¡°I will never take it off for the rest of my life,¡± Artem vowed, even as he extended his hands out so that Regina could slip on his new engagement ring.
As she did so, she stared at Artem¡¯s face, which seemed paler than before but otherwise unchanged.
¡®How,¡¯ Regina wondered, ¡®can Artem look so calm after creating this enormous ring at a moment¡¯s notice? Magic this powerful and instantaneous always carries a physical cost. Yet he looks nearly unchanged.¡¯
A sudden question darted through Regina¡¯s mind.
¡°Artem,¡± she murmured despite herself, ¡°just how powerful are you anyway?¡±
Artem just blinked and cocked his head, looking adorably confused.
¡°Excuse me?¡± he said sweetly.
Yet remembering just how many eyes were on them, Regina decided to smile at her fiance ¨C
Her handsome, charming, kind-hearted fiance¡ who might have more than a few surprises up his sleeve.
¡°Never mind,¡± she said, and let herself relax in Artem¡¯s arms before she smiled more sincerely. ¡°I have no more questions except this ¨C¡±
Laughing, she asked: ¡°My dearest Artem, will you dance with me?¡±
Chapter 16: A Clear and Present Danger
By the end of the night, Regina¡¯s feet were decidedly sore but her heart less heavy. The ball had ended only after she and Artem had danced for almost an hour together, talking and laughing and shutting out the rest of the world, however impolitic it might be.
Actually, Regina was startled by how little they had been interrupted, given how many powerful nobles were in their company. But whether it was due to her family, Artem¡¯s own, or even the sheer joy she and Artem took with one another, the other nobles left them in peace.
Now, back in front of her door, she looked at Artem to say goodbye, even though she was reluctant to watch him leave.
¡°This was,¡± Regina softly said to her intended, ¡°a completely unforgettable evening.¡±
She was not even lying ¨C between the poisoning, the racing around, and the fear of death, she was sure to revisit this day many times in her future nightmares.
Yet in between the exhaustion and fear, there had been moments of true joy¡ and as Regina stared at her gently smiling prince, she knew just who to attribute those moments to.
¡°Thank you,¡± Regina finally said, ¡°for giving me so many happy memories.¡±
¡°I hope,¡± Artem softly said, ¡°that perhaps we can share an even happier one now.¡±
Regina¡¯s heart fluttered at that, especially as she leaned forward and felt Artem¡¯s trembling hand gently cup her cheek ¨C
Only to be interrupted by her father¡¯s bellow of, ¡°What do you two think you are doing?¡±
With a gasp, Regina watched both her parents rush onto the scene, before Regina¡¯s mother sighed and said, ¡°Regina, you know that we need to discuss accounting before you start disheveling your very expensive dresses.¡±
Thinking with some horror about what had happened every time she had accidentally torn one of her outfits, Regina immediately turned toward Artem.
¡°You should probably go,¡± she told him, ¡°away from my room. As fast as possible.¡±
In a sotto voice for Artem alone, she added, ¡°Mother can get creative when it comes to using knives and discussing the cost of carelessness with outfits.¡±
Luckily, for all of his eccentricities, Artem could catch a hint as fast as anyone else. Thus, with a smile and a bow for Regina and her parents, Artem beat a surprisingly dignified retreat.
That left Regina with her parents, who stared at one another before her father said, almost wistfully, ¡°You looked so grown up this evening.¡±
¡°Well,¡± Regina wryly pointed out, ¡°I am one-and-twenty.¡±
¡°We know that,¡± Regina¡¯s mother said, looking odd as well. ¡°We mark your birthday every year.¡±
Regina did not know what to say to that ¨C especially since they had pointedly not celebrated her birthday ever since her sister died. So what in Carcosa did this marking mean?
Finally, with an uncomfortable smile, Regina said, ¡°I should go and rest now. It has been a very long day.¡±
Her parents exchanged a look before her father said, ¡°All right. Let us know if you need anything.¡±
Knowing she would do that approximately as soon as the Poisson family stopped being obsessed with fish, Regina awkwardly smiled and nodded.
Then, she slipped into her room, closed the door and ¨C
Instantly felt a chill run down her spine as she looked at the mountain of presents before her.
For a moment, all Regina could do was glare at the mass of gilt and finery as though it were a series of traps ready to explode as soon as she looked at it strangely.
¡°Am I supposed to open these now?¡± she asked no one in particular, wracking her brain to try and remember what the royal protocol about engagement presents was. ¡°I know these must be from the noble families who attended the party ¨C but does that mean I should unwrap them now? Or do I wait for others to see me unwrap them tomorrow? Also, I have to write down who gave me what so I can write thank you cards and ¨C¡±
Feeling exhausted with life, Regina slumped against the door and closed her eyes.
After all, she was just an inbred shut-in who had not even stepped outside of her family¡¯s estate and neighboring town for the first twenty-one years of her life.
How is she supposed to navigate the politics of this situation ¨C especially when actual dukes and princes are involved?!
Indeed, though Regina thought she had been admirably strong today, this pile of presents was somehow becoming her breaking point.
She was even beginning to develop a throbbing headache, one that was getting worse and worse as she thought of how her family or the Alpins or the nobles would react if she did not remember just what to do or who to send cards to ¨C
Until Regina¡¯s eyes snapped open as she realized something new.
¡°As I went on throughout my day,,¡± Regina softly said, ¡°the palace must have been on high alert. With so many distinguished and high-ranking nobles about, the Alpins know that there¡¯s plenty of opportunity for mischief as well. So if anything, the palace would be extra careful about public spaces, including what food and drinks people are served ¨C especially where the royal family is concerned.¡±
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Yet even so, poison could be introduced in a situation where there is an unusual disruption¡ like a royal engagement party where many new people come in bearing many new gifts.
¡Gifts such as the one she was staring at now as her headache only grew worse and worse and worse.
Regina looked down at her fingernails ¨C which were not yet discolored but would soon be if this continued ¨C and cursed.
Then, feeling panic clawing at her, Regina turned around to lock the door behind her before she grabbed a chair to secure the door even further.
After all, she needed time to do something so audacious, it would be a miracle if her own family didn¡¯t murder her afterwards.
So, with another stream of curses that would have sent innocent Artem¡¯s head spinning, Regina rushed forward to open the nearest window ¨C
And began to throw each and every priceless engagement present she received out of it.
Indeed, Regina thought it was a credit to her efficiency that she was able to throw all the presents out with great speed, even as people began pounding at her door and begging her to open it.
Regina was actually holding the last present in her hands when she finally heard poor Artem roar, ¡°Regina, my beloved ¨C stand back!¡±
Artem then used his magic to shred her metal door to little more than splinters ¨C
Just as Regina threw the elaborate bouquet of flowers out the window and then herself at him.
¡°Artem!¡± Regina cried, already feeling one headache fade while another took its place in his embrace, ¡°you are here at last!¡±
¡°Of course I am,¡± Artem gently said, though he looked baffled by her actions¡
As did her family, his kin, the guardsmen, and apparently, all of the dukes and marquesses and other powerful nobles that Carcosa contained.
Regina cursed whatever luck brought every bloody person of any importance at all to her room to see her be humiliated.
Yet with maniacal cheerfulness, Regina focused on Artem and said, ¡°Darling, you must be wondering what I am doing!¡±
¡°Yes,¡± Regina¡¯s father dryly interrupted even as Artem looked at her with deep concern. ¡°It is safe to say that we are all wondering that.¡±
¡°What I am doing,¡± Regina said, eyes fixed on Artem alone, ¡°is making sure that I belong to my beloved Artem alone!¡±
Everyone in the room leveled a confused stare at her but undeterred, Regina barreled forward.
¡°This evening,¡± she cried, ¡°has taught me how deeply I cherish Artem ¨C so the only presents I want come from him. Nothing else has value to me ¨C so I needed to discard them instantly! They needed to be gone from my sight before they ¨C they ¨C they sickened me!¡±
That last part was literal ¨C Regina was now sure that her instant headache from entering the room had come from one of her many engagement presents being drugged.
So what better way to make sure she would not be drugged through a future present except to make sure only sweet, innocent Artem would be allowed to give gifts to her?
Even though Regina was aware she must seem like a lunatic to the most powerful nobles in Carcosa, Regina grabbed Artem¡¯s lapels and said, ¡°My dearest Artem alone will be my source of future joy and hope. From now on, I will only accept presents from his hands!¡±
A quick scan of the crowd revealed that most of them seemed to think she had gone completely insane.
However, the sudden joy on Artem¡¯s face told her that he accepted her absurd words with far more grace than they deserved.
¡°If you will only accept presents from me,¡± Artem said, taking hands in his, ¡°then I will give you everything you please. Let me demonstrate to all what you will receive from me!¡±
Then, to Regina¡¯s wonder, all the metal in the room detached itself from the floor paneling and wainscoting and even the broken door ¨C
Only for Artem to craft a magnificent series of presents that reflected each of the major noble families in Carcosa.
There was a beautiful metal tree to represent the Nevilles, a hideous feet fish mask to represent the Kuzeys, a statue of a fish gracefully leaping front a fisherman¡¯s hand to represent the Poissons, an elegant fan to represent the La Belles ¨C
And finally, Artem placed a bouquet of metallic roses to represent the Burens between Regina¡¯s fingers.
¡°Though my bouquet does not have the sweet fragrance of real flowers,¡± Artem softly said, ¡°they will last far longer as a tribute to your beauty.¡±
Then, looking shy even as the crowd beyond him looked astounded at his casual display of power, Artem asked, ¡°Do these presents please you, my magnificent falcon?¡±
Torn between being touched at Artem¡¯s gifts and worried at the murmurs from the crowd, who seemed strangely agitated at Artem¡¯s display of power, Regina managed a smile.
¡°You grant me too much honor, my prince,¡± she said, even as she heard nobles behind her whisper ¡®I had no idea he could make more than shiny trinkets¡¯ and ¡®the king¡¯s power was actually inherited by both princes.¡¯ ¡°Truly, I am not worthy ¨C¡±
Yet before Regina could say anymore, she felt both of Artem¡¯s hands move to cup her face.
Before she could even react, he had maneuvered them into the kind of passionate kiss that Regina had been imagining for weeks.
Regina had never thought to experience her first true embrace in front of her family, royalty, and the most important nobles in Carcosa in a way that broke all the social rules she had ever had to follow.
Yet as Regina melted into Artem¡¯s passionate kiss and pressed her body to his, she decided she did not care.
After all, the world owed her one moment of pure bliss after all that she had experienced.
However, even as Regina relaxed into Artem¡¯s gentle embrace, a horrifying thought came to her.
Why, Regina thought, did my family, the Alpins, and all the important nobles of Carcosa know to come to my room at this moment?
That was when Regina realized that her would-be assassin must have wanted all the royals and nobles of Carcosa to witness the state of her body after she was poisoned¡
¡And she had no idea what her enemies would do now she had thwarted their plans once more.
Chapter 17: The Price of Business
There were many things that Regina had hoped her family would congratulate her for.
Throwing a temper tantrum was not one of them.
Yet as Regina tucked into breakfast the next morning as though she were a hibernating bear, she found herself being showered in parental praise about how she had handled herself during what she had thought was a life-ending humiliation.
In fact, after insisting her family return from the palace to the Sheridan townhouse, she had fled into her bedroom to avoid talking to her family about her real reason for throwing all the expensive engagement presents she had received out the bloody window.
At the very least, she had gone to bed hungry and horrified at the scolding her father would soon give about the money she had wasted ¨C money that could have been recycled back into Sheridan pockets.
Instead, she found her father staring at her with something akin to awe before he proudly said, ¡°I cannot believe I gave birth to such a brilliant young woman.¡±
Regina almost died choking on her pancakes while her mother hissed and replied, ¡°Excuse me? Did you say you were the one to give birth to her? I would like to know when this miracle occurred, since I was the one pushing her enormous head out of my body!¡±
As Regina wondered whether her head really was abnormally large, her father replied, ¡°I was speaking metaphorically, not literally. It is not as though Regina¡¯s genius could come from anyone but me given how masterfully she handled the nobles last night.¡±
As Regina stared in shock, her mother slapped the table and said, ¡°While you are a pompous idiot, you are right about Regina¡¯s brilliance. I wish I could have painted a portrait of every pompous noble last night as she stuck it right in their eyes!¡±
¡°Stuck what?¡± Regina asked, lost and feeling her pancake stick in her throat. ¡°What are you two talking about?!¡±
¡°Oh, do not be so modest,¡± her mother said, now grinning from ear to ear. ¡°You know just what you did and how well you did it.¡±
Regina, who had no idea what her mother was speaking of, took a look at her father ¨C who was, to her utter shock, nodding wildly.
¡°Absolutely,¡± her father said, looking so happy Regina was unnerved. ¡°You handled yourself so well ¨C and you have that second prince eating out of the palm of your hand. I admit I was not sure if swapping princes was for the best ¨C but you have done damn well so far!¡±
Finally, deciding she had to respond even if she had no idea what was going on, Regina awkwardly smiled and said, ¡°I¡ am thrilled that you both approve of all that I did. I had¡ feared you might believe me unfit for marrying into the royal family after all that I had done.¡±
Indeed, Regina was still flabbergasted that her insane move of throwing all the presents out of the window because one of them was coated with poison would be thought of as praise-worthy by anyone. She had even been so terrified of being labeled as a crazy woman and thrown back into the Sheridan estate to be ¡°dealt with¡± that she had not gotten a wink of sleep last night ¨C which also kept her from any visions.
Yet if her parents somehow approved of her bizarre actions ¨C well, Regina was not about to look a gift-horse in the mouth.
In fact, as Regina chewed on her pancakes and stared at her beaming parents, she began to feel actual hope filling her heart.
¡®Perhaps,¡¯ she cautiously hoped, ¡®I behaved so bizarrely last night that even my assassins will stop coming after me! After all, how could they think of me as any kind of threat when nobody sane would let Artem or myself near any form of power?¡¯
Relaxing as she watched her parents continue to heap praise on her while bickering with one another, Regina continued to hope that perhaps the insanity of yesterday would lead to a better tomorrow.
I imagine,¡¯ she thought, ¡®that Artem and I have behaved so strangely that even if my parents and family approve, the Alpins will want us to leave the Capital as soon as we are married. With luck, we will be quickly wed and be shuffled off to some remote estate far from any assassins. Soon, my life of being menaced by nothing more than geese may begin. Perhaps that is why I did not have another vision last night!¡¯
Buoyed by that cheerful thought, she began stuffing another pancake into her mouth ¨C only to choke when Artem burst in from the windows.
¡°My love!¡± Artem cried as his love struggled not to die. ¡°I come bearing astounding news for you!¡±
Finally, after she managed to choke down her last bite, Regina weakly smiled and said, ¡°I could not imagine anything more delightful.¡±
¡°I could,¡± Regina¡¯s father said, fire in his eyes. ¡°For instance, a future son-in-law who did not like to burst through my townhouse¡¯s expensive glass.¡±
One tragic look from Artem and sharp elbow from her mother later, Regina¡¯s father harrumphed and said, ¡°Never mind, Prince Artem. Feel free to burst in and¡ break whatever you must¡ as long as it allows you to see our daughter.¡±
¡°After all,¡± Regina¡¯s mother said with a sly smile, ¡°we are going to be family.¡±
¡®Ah,¡¯ Regina thought as enlightenment dawned on her and an eager Artem took an eager seat by her side. ¡®This is why my parents are so happy with me. It does not matter if Artem and I are seen as idiots ¨C what matters is that our future marriage will make them close to the royal Alpins.¡¯
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She could only shake her head, even as Artem gazed lovingly at her ¨C obviously oblivious to her parents¡¯ schemes.
¡®Even if Artem and I are thrown into the countryside, my parents can still continue their deals with the royals who actually matter ¨C the King and Crown Prince. So all I need to do is play along, act like a lovestruck idiot, and keep Artem besotted with me.¡¯
Feeling proud of her perfect understanding of the situation, Regina nodded and turned to offer her sweet Artem a bite of her own pancake ¨C only to stop when she met his strangely serious gaze.
¡°What?¡± she asked, already bracing herself for a blow. ¡°Why do you suddenly look unhappy?¡±
¡°My gracious goose,¡± Artem mournfully said, ¡°I could never be unhappy in your presence. Yet I must admit to being concerned about news that I have recently received.¡±
With all Sheridan eyes fixed on him, Artem clenched his fist and cried, ¡°After your perfect announcement last night ¨C your exquisite declaration that I would be the only one you would receive gifts from again ¨C other nobles were spurred on by the challenge!¡±
There was a moment of perfect silence before Regina¡¯s mother asked, on everyone¡¯s behalf, ¡°What the hell does that mean?¡±
¡°My sweet second mother,¡± Artem said, even as Regina¡¯s mother made an involuntary face at the title, ¡°it means that the flies have sensed the honey and have come around buzzing!¡±
¡°I think,¡± Regina¡¯s father dryly said after all the Sheridans exchanged another look, ¡°that Your Highness needs to use fewer metaphors among simple people like us.¡±
¡°After all,¡± Regina¡¯s mother snidely said, ¡°we are just a few generations removed from commoners.¡±
As Regina¡¯s father elbowed Regina¡¯s mother to hush her about their ignoble origins, Artem ignored them to take Regina¡¯s hand in his own.
¡°Forgive me,¡± Artem said, ¡°for speaking too poetically where my regal Regina is concerned. What I mean to say is that after her magnificent display of passionate love last night, all the nobles in the room realized how perfect and amazing she was ¨C and even worse, even shared the news with other nobles in the room!¡±
¡®In other words,¡¯ Regina privately translated to herself, ¡®the nobles who saw me toss their gifts out the window spoke of my insanity to every other noble they could meet. So now everyone of any importance in the capital thinks I am crazy!¡¯
¡°What¡¯s more,¡± Artem gravely continued, ¡°these nobles are now determined to meet Regina in person. It is not enough to simply see her in a crowded ballroom as she dances with me and a few other notables. They want to spend as much time as possible with her!¡¯
¡®Wonderful,¡¯ Regina mentally sighed. ¡®It is not enough to see me act like a jester in public ¨C the nobles want to see me put on face paint and juggle some balls right in front of them.¡¯
¡°This of course worries me!¡± Artem cried, even as he moved close to a resigned Regina¡¯s side. ¡°I am terrified that all these single noblemen ¨C like that bloody Duke Kuzey and that Lord Robin Buren ¨C are going to encroach on my bride. After all, we are not yet married!¡±
All the Sheridans in the room shared a wry look before Regina said, ¡°My lovely¡ honeybee, surely you do not believe I will betray you, do you?¡±
¡°Of course not,¡± Artem exclaimed. ¡°I know you are as loyal as you are loving! Yet you never know what tricks and schemes these nobles may have up their sleeves. Oh, if only you and I could wed immediately!¡±
Regina perked up at that, suddenly seeing an immediate solution to all remaining problems.
¡°Why do we not do that?!¡± she cried. ¡°I ¨C I would marry you today, if it could be arranged! Mother, father ¨C do you think we could hold the ceremony right here?¡±
Yet before her parents could say anything, Artem shook his head and said, ¡°Unfortunately, the wedding of a member of the royal family must be approved by the royal family. However, when I asked my older brother if we could wed today¡¡±
¡°Yes?!¡± Regina asked, grabbing Artem by the lapels in her haste.
¡°Aaron said,¡± Artem replied, even as much of him went pink, ¡°that if I asked again, he would add two weeks to the normal six-month waiting period from the engagement party to the wedding.¡±
Regina let go of Artem¡¯s lapels and silently cursed the crown prince who was determined to vex her even when she had escaped their engagement.
¡°Even so,¡± Artem soothingly added, as he gently guided Regina¡¯s limp hands to his lapels once more, ¡°I will not allow this minor delay to destroy our happiness¡ and I will not let other noble families ¨C or their eligible bachelors ¨C steal your attention.¡±
¡°What do you mean?¡± Regina asked, confused at his odd words.
¡°I mean,¡± Artem responded, something oddly¡ intense lurking beneath his usually sweet tone, ¡°that I would love to escort you to the theater so these encroaching nobles have little time to approach you individually.¡±
Regina paused, worried about the implications of Artem¡¯s statement regarding her rising ¡®popularity.¡¯
Artem,¡¯ she thought, ¡®is so infatuated by me that he has no idea that other nobles actually just want another chance to gawk at whatever stupidity I commit next. But while I will bear it in order to save my skin, I do not want to be constantly scrutinized for signs of insanity!¡¯
Yet before Regina could find a tactful way to turn down Artem¡¯s theater invitation ¨C perhaps she could say she could not bear to see other men at all pale next to Artem¡¯s perfection? ¨C her parents leaped in to accept on her behalf.
¡°Of course our adorable Regina would love to attend the theater with you!¡± her father joyfully cried, before he added, ¡°Also, pay no attention to the poleaxed look on Regina¡¯s face. That is just how she gets when she wants something dearly.¡±
Regina was almost angry enough to protest ¨C before one look into her father¡¯s narrowed eyes warned her that she had better play along while she was still his property.
(Once she married, she would belong to Artem ¨C but she had faith he would make for a far less murderous master).
So Regina plastered a smile and said, ¡°I would love to go to the theater with you, Artem. I might not even be the biggest spectacle that people line up to see.¡±
After Artem reassured her that was impossible, Regina¡¯s smile stiffened and she said, ¡°Still, I have to spend the rest of this day getting ready for my audience¡ which means I have to take a very long bath.¡±
For a moment, Artem blushed beet red and opened his mouth, looking ready to ask if he could join her.
But after a very loud harrumph from Regina¡¯s father ¨C and a casual display of knife-wielding skills from Regina¡¯s mother ¨C Artem smiled and said, ¡°Please take all the time you need, my lovely lamprey. I will return for you at seven in the evening.¡±
Then, as theatrically as he had appeared, Artem burst out another window ¨C leaving Regina¡¯s father cradling his face in his hands.
¡°That boy,¡± Regina¡¯s father muttered, ¡°is going to cost us a fortune in glass repairs alone.¡±
¡°Think of it,¡± Regina¡¯s mother replied, ¡°as the price of business.¡±
¡°While you are thinking of that,¡± Regina dryly added, ¡°someone should probably go make sure Artem is not splattered outside of that window he just shattered. However¡ that someone will not be me.¡±
Regina regally stood, ready to make her exit.
¡°Pray excuse me, sir and madam. I have a full face of clown makeup to apply before the events of this evening.¡±
Chapter 18: A Vision and a Decision
Half an hour later, Regina found herself almost falling asleep in the warm bath that the maids had prepared.
¡°I should have slept more last night,¡± she drowsily told herself. ¡°Even if I am young, I cannot stay up forever. So after I finish my bath, I will take a nap and then let Henrietta and my mother bully me into looking half-way decent for the theater¡¡±
Yet in the next moment, Regina found herself amidst a crowd of finely dressed folk while wearing nothing more than a few suds of soap.
Shrieking, Regina covered herself up in horror at the thought of being caught undressed among so many strangers¡ before she realized that no one was paying attention to the naked woman in their midst.
¡°Another vision,¡± she murmured, before her eyes widened and she realized she did not even remember falling asleep.
¡°Then why am I here?¡± she cried, before she whirled around to see the sights and realized she had no idea where here happened to be.
Indeed, as Regina twirled around to determine her latest location, she could feel an impending headache. After living in the secluded Sheridan estate for her entire life, she was used to quiet, mundane surroundings filled with quiet, terrifying people whose quiet, dull routine was only interrupted by the occasional death.
This place, however, was an extravaganza of light and color ¨C filled with sparkling chandeliers, gilt-trimmed finery, golden wallpaper, and a wide variety of people. She could see everyone from nobles dressed in silks and jewels to commoners wearing far more outfits and decorations.
Regardless, everyone she could see seemed enthusiastic about catching a glimpse of something ¨C and as she heard the crowd mutter about the ¡®princess-to-be¡¯ and her outrageous act of ¡®discarding all the engagement gifts she received¡¯...
¡Regina had a terrible idea of just what she would see.
Steeling herself, Regina followed the path of chatter up a staircase ringed by royal guards that she easily pushed through¡ before she saw a fully dressed version of herself sitting with Artem in what had to be the plush royal box of the theater.
Yet if this box was meant to keep her away from the peons of Carcosa, it was not doing its job. So while she could see Artem stare adoringly at her, the Regina of her vision looked as though she needed sleep to fend off her urgent desire to throw herself off the royal box¡¯s balcony.
Then again, since the vision-Regina was obviously tired of hearing her noble callers tell her that she was ¡°so refined for tossing out gifts from those beneath your station as princess ¨C of course you do not need anything beside what Prince Artem will provide!¡± ¨C
Currently naked Regina did not blame her.
In fact, currently naked Regina thought it was admirable that her other self did not throw those noble callers off the balcony in response to their sarcasm and barely disguised bullying.
(Some part of Regina was even disappointed at how crude the words of her new noble rivals were. From the romance novels Henrietta had shared, Regina had assumed that noble rivals would be far more subtle and cutting with their catty remarks¡ but no. Apparently romance novels exaggerated events for the sake of a good story. Regina felt very deceived!)
Sighing in disappointment, naked Regina slumped over and saw all the usual noble callers come to visit her and Artem in their royal box with alternates to their previous gifts.
Duke Neville came in to offer Regina and Artem a chance to tour the lush Neville forest to select several trees to plant in their new estate, Lord Robin Buren came in with an offer to give them precious floral cuttings straight from the Buren gardens, and Duke Kuzey offered to help them see a feet fish ¨C an offer that the clothed Regina hastily turned down before an eager Artem could accept.
Naked Regina nodded in approval as clothed Regina gently turned down each new gift offered ¨C noting as well how Artem smiled adoringly at her every word.
So far, naked Regina thought, the scene seemed normal enough. Perhaps she was only seeing a vision of the rather awkward but otherwise unlethal night to come?
Unfortunately, before she could relax further, she saw another caller come in ¨C
And he was none other than Crown Prince Aaron Alpin ¨C her newest family member.
¡°Do not mind me,¡± the crown prince said as he bowed to his brother and sister-in-law-to-be upon entering the royal box. ¡°Please, do not even get up out of your seat. I am only here to serve as a chaperone to make sure you two do not get¡¡±
Prince Aaron then leveled a cool look at Regina and Artem¡¯s interlinked fingers before Artem begrudgingly pulled his hand away.
¡°Too intimate before the wedding,¡± Prince Aaron concluded dryly.
From there, Prince Aaron had done just as he said. He took a seat on Regina¡¯s other side and silently watched as Regina and Artem had been swarmed by callers, politely deflecting any attention drawn to himself by redirecting it to the ¡®happy¡¯ couple.
Yet though the clothed Regina was too busy fending off attempts at presents and praise alike to notice, the naked Regina next to her could see that while Prince Aaron was silent, he was still watching¡
¡And that the Crown Prince never took his eyes off of Regina at all.
Shivering, naked Regina looked away for the moment to stare at something far less worrisome ¨C like the view from the royal box. As befit something made for the highest family in Carcosa, it had the grandest view imaginable ¨C not just of the stage and the crowd but also of the two dozen gleaming chandeliers scattered throughout the theater ¨C
Chandeliers so beautifully wrought of metal that they had to have been created by the Alpin¡¯s special metallurgic magic.
¡°By the blood,¡± Regina muttered, feeling disgusted, ¡°is this how the Alpins spend our tax dollars?¡±
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After shaking her head, Regina craned her neck up to look more closely at Alpin¡¯s ridiculous display of wealth.
¡°Those chandeliers are very beautiful,¡± she begrudgingly admitted. ¡°That intricate floral motif around their base looks a bit like the carvings Artem did for my last necklace. I wonder if he knows which relative did this?¡±
Yet before she could look any further, she heard her other self sigh and tell Artem that she needed to attend to her toilette.
¡°I will ask Henrietta to accompany me,¡± the very-tired-sounding Regina murmured to a concerned Artem. ¡°Unlike everyone else in this theater, she will give some privacy. Besides, I will be but a few steps from her at all times so that she can assist me if needed. You need not worry for me.¡±
Clothed Regina then got up from her chair, gave Artem a weary smile, and began to make her way down the stairs that the royal guards obligingly cleared for her.
True to her words, Henrietta had been loitering near the stairs while talking to some blue-haired noble woman with fish stamped all over her dress. Upon seeing clothed Regina slowly descend down the stairs, Henrietta immediately came to lend a hand... even as Artem began to discreetly trail behind her.
¡°Are you all right?¡± Henrietta asked, clearly concerned as clothed Regina rested almost her entire body weight on her. ¡°You look like you are about to faint!¡±
¡°I absolutely will if one more noble tells me how elegantly I threw gifts out the window last night,¡± clothed Regina sighed. ¡°In the meantime, please help me visit the powder room. I need a moment to rest before another wave of condescension and backstabbing.¡±
Henrietta laughed at that and helped clothed Regina move along, both real Regina and Artem trailing along in their wake.
Yet as naked Regina watched her clothed counterpart, she became more and more worried.
While Regina knew she had been fatigued from too little sleep and too much stress¡ surely she could not be that exhausted?
Unfortunately, as her vision self continued to stumble, it appeared that she was that exhausted. However, it soon became obvious that clothed Regina was under the influence of something beyond a mere lack of sleep.
When the clothed Regina finally made it into the powder room with Henrietta, she abruptly collapsed. Henrietta immediately dropped to the floor, frantically moving her hands over Regina¡¯s body¡
¡before screaming that Regina no longer drew breath.
The last thing Regina saw before her vision faded was Artem¡¯s horrified face as he let out an otherworldly howl ¨C
Which was when Regina woke up right before she could drown in her bath.
~???~?
Regina had once seen a cousin of hers drown in a small rain puddle. It would have been impossible for a rain puddle to drown a healthy young man¡
¡If it had not been a puddle carefully ¡°prepared¡± by another family member to serve as a trap.
Now, struggling to pull her head out of the water as she flailed around in a panic, Regina wondered if her poor cousin had felt this disorientated and terrified before death.
Luckily, after a brief struggle, Regina managed to right herself enough to make death by drowning impossible, even if her vision had just taught her that death could easily come by other means.
¡°It does not make sense,¡± Regina muttered, even as she forced her body to rise from the now cold bath. ¡°I should not be a political threat to anyone due to my absurd antics! Nobody in their right mind would want me to be their queen! So who would want to kill me so badly that they poison me right in front of hundreds of potential witnesses?¡±
After all, what else could make her go from a healthy, if tired, young woman to a corpse in a matter of a few hours?
One of her visitors must have slipped her a poison while they were attending to her¡ perhaps prepared the poison for her in the royal box before she even appeared.
Another thought struck her with the force of whatever poison was meant to kill her in the theater.
¡°Someone wants to kill me,¡± Regina muttered, ¡°and they want to do it in a way that sends others a message. Why else would they serve me such a public death that is so obviously an assassination? Yet what message could they be trying to send?¡±
Regina closed her eyes and shuddered at the thought of the dead Regina in her dream.
¡°Even better,¡± Regina whispered, ¡°who is meant to receive that message? Perhaps it was-¡±
She thought of Artem¡¯s anguished howl as her dream self had died and sighed.
¡°So much,¡± Regina grimly said, ¡°for trying to be too stupid to kill.¡±
As Regina slowly toweled herself off and made her way to her bedroom to rest before the theater preparations began, another horrible thought struck her.
¡°Did I really fall asleep in the bath when I had that vision?¡± she asked herself. ¡°I know I have been tired as of late but nodding off so much I practically drowned does not seem like something I would do. Does this mean --¡±
In retrospect, it was pure luck that Regina had managed to make her way to the bed by the time she had this epiphany. Otherwise, she might have hit her head on the floor when she collapsed and saved her assassin much work.
¡°Does this mean I am going to start having visions of my impending death even when I am awake?!¡± Regina cried as she fell onto her bed in despair. ¡°If so, I will be a wrapped and signed present for every assassin that comes for me!¡±
After she had taken the frustration of that possibility out on her pillows, Regina sighed and tried to concentrate on the most immediately important task.
¡°I can worry,¡± she grimly told herself, ¡°about when my absurd Artem-based murder-perceiving magic is going to manifest after I survive tonight. Yet I need to figure out how to do that, especially since¡¡±
Regina groaned and cursed her family for what had to be the ten-thousandth time in her life.
¡°Since I know I cannot fake being ill to cancel attending this play! Father and mother are convinced I need to keep Artem happy so even if I tried, they would bring some quack to ¡®visit¡¯ me and I would be forced to go eventually. Whoever is planning my assassination among the dozens of nobles who visited me or the dozens of attendants at the royal box before I arrived will be able to strike as planned, no matter how I try to avoid attending.
¡°I need,¡± Regina slowly said, ¡°to find some way to survive this theater engagement besides not attending at all. So what can I do to make it impossible for my assassin to strike in the way I foresee¡?¡±
Regina stared blankly out into her bedroom, wondering when even the Sheridan manor seemed like a safer place than her current cheery room.
It was hardly the room¡¯s fault that people were trying to murder her.
After all, it has lovely furnishings, some much less lovely vases, the giant dress that her parents had somehow decided was in style and equipped with panniers the size of a small carriage in a way that would make it difficult for someone as unfortunate as Regina to walk-
Regina paused, a smile that, even to herself, looked evil appearing in the large ceiling-length mirror.
¡°Well,¡± said Regina, trying hard to sound virtuous, ¡°I do enjoy helping the unfortunate.¡±
Standing up from the bed, and laughing giddily, Regina clapped her hands together. ¡°How very fortunate for me that I am the most unfortunate of them all!¡±
After all, she thought righteously, it was only fair that she transferred some of her misfortune to the people who were trying to kill her.
¡°Yes,¡± she said, ¡°I do think that you are about to have the most unfortunate night of your lives.¡±
Chapter 19: Break a Leg
¡°My fierce falcon,¡± Artem cried when he first arrived via royal carriage to escort Regina and Henrietta (as Regina¡¯s chaperone) to the theater. ¡°You are truly a vision of¡ loveliness and¡ elegance and¡¡±
¡°Horizontal ambition?¡± Henrietta dryly said as Regina proudly made her way to the carriage with a skirt so wide that it would make the skirt she wore to the engagement ball shrink aside in fear.
¡°Horizontal astonishment!¡± Artem cheerfully replied, actually looking as though he meant it. ¡°Regina, my darling, you will take away the breath of everyone at the theater!¡±
¡°Perfect,¡± Regina said, though she would be fine with taking the breath away of her would-be assassin - literally, if she could catch them in the folds of her skirt. ¡°That is just the effect I am aiming for.¡±
One very uncomfortable royal carriage ride later ¨C
(There had been just enough room for Artem to fit in with Regina so long as he nested in the spray of her petticoats while Henrietta sensibly sat with the carriage driver).
The party of three ended up at the royal theater.
However, just as Artem was about to escort Regina and Henrietta up the grand staircase and to the royal box overlooking the stage, Regina stopped him with a raised hand.
¡°My love,¡± she loudly asked him (and all nearby witnesses), ¡°is it right for us to rise so high instead of mingling with our fellow citizens tonight?¡±
¡°What do you mean?¡± Artem asked, looking confused while Henrietta narrowed her eyes at Regina¡¯s sudden and sanctimonious speech.
¡°I mean,¡± Regina said, with the largest, most doe-like eyes she could muster, ¡°that I do not feel we should act as though we are better than others around us. Does that not go against the credo of your family?¡±
¡°The credo of my family?¡± Artem repeated, blinking even as Henrietta put her head in her hands as she anticipated what was about to happen.
¡°Yes!¡± Regina cried, so loudly that the crowd that had gathered to look at her began murmuring at her passionate words. ¡°After all, if I am to be a new member of the royal Alpis, I must live up to your family¡¯s words of ¡®Not for Us but For All.¡¯ So you and I cannot just rise above the crowd as though we think we are above them.¡±
Passionately placing her hand over her heart, Regina added, ¡°Artem, you and I must stand with the common people of Carcosa to show how much we care! We are more than just a prince and future princess - we are patriots of the Carcosan people. So let us go down to where the common people dwell ¨C and where they will see tonight¡¯s show!¡±
Then, having made her point and converted a sparkly-eyed Artem to her cause, Regina took his hand on one arm and Henrietta¡¯s arm in the other ¨C
And marched in the opposite direction of the royal box that her assassin wanted to murder her in.
This was how Regina found herself in the least expensive area of the entire theater - a dingy little pit that was standing-room only and reserved for the poorest commoners¡
¡Who in this case happened to be a group of orphans sponsored by the Marquess La Belle.
¡°What a pleasure to see you, princess!¡± the marquess cried, after hastily decamping from his spot in line for the royal box to see Regina and Artem in their new quarters. ¡°I had no idea that you would prefer to view tonight¡¯s play among the magicless peons ¨C I mean, common people instead of the royal box!¡±
¡°I imagine,¡± Regina honestly said, ¡°that absolutely no one other than myself could have anticipated that. Yet after I came to the theater¡¡±
Here, she cast Artem a soulful glance that he returned, even as he continued making adorable metallic trinkets for the surrounding orphans.
¡°I just knew,¡± Regina cried, ¡°that I needed to be among the people who needed me the most ¨C the commoners, especially these dear little orphans!¡±
¡®Especially,¡¯ Regina internally added, ¡®since I know that unlike every adult beside Artem and Henrietta, these dear orphans cannot possibly murder me.¡¯
¡°By the blood,¡± Marquess La Belle cried, looking poleaxed, ¡°I had no idea you cared for commoners so dearly! I thought you were like other Sheridans and¡ well¡ er¡¡±
Casting a tender look at the orphans flocking around her ¨C orphans who were unwittingly keeping her from interacting with her assassins ¨C Regina smiled.
¡°I care very deeply for all the common people of Carcosa,¡± Regina said. ¡°In fact, my darling Artem and I will even lend a hand with caring for these orphans!¡±
¡°Yes!¡± Artem cried from his perch closeby, looking up from making a lovely metal doll for a young girl who had requested one with her dark skin and purple braids. ¡°I will do anything my darling Regina wants ¨C especially if it means helping these adorable children!¡±
Nodding with approval at Artem¡¯s perfect understanding, Regina added, ¡°We will be sure to visit the orphanage these children live in and make a donation to support their living conditions. In the meantime, Marquess La Belle, I thank you for giving these children a night of beauty, even if their daily living expenses are covered by the crown.¡±
Smiling politely at the powerful marquess even as she used her massive skirt and entourage of orphans to keep him at bay, Regina added, ¡°Truly, Marquess La Belle, I can only hope to live up to your charitable example. Only then can Artem and I be a prince and princess of the common people!¡±
Even as the seemingly silly marquess sighed over being flattered, Regina continued to smile and hand out the bank-notes that she had prepared to the children.
(In retrospect, she was deeply grateful that her mother and father had not asked her any questions about why she needed a mass of money to attend the theater. They had simply given her a large pile of bills that she was now pulling out through skirt pockets prepared by Henrietta and herself).
Granted, Regina was unsure if these young children ¨C even knew what these notes could do. Regina just hoped that at some point, these bank notes could help them afford better clothes and more nutritious food ¨C and she was prepared to go visit whatever institution they lived in to make sure that was the case.
After all, it was her right to do so as an incoming member of the royal family¡ especially since Artem would surely agree.
¡®Besides,¡¯ Regina told herself, ¡®I owe these orphans for keeping me safe. None of them can be assassins since they are only children. What¡¯s more, even if any of them were dangerous, none of them could have made it to the royal box as either a guest or attendant. So I can mingle with these children all I like for the rest of the night, even as I use them and my giant skirt to keep every suspicious person away!¡¯
Thus, while a stream of nobles and even commoners continued to try to chatter with her, Regina was able to use the orphans as human shields to keep others at a poison-free distance. She even put Henrietta to work ushering callers apart from Marquess La Belle ¨C who used his own sponsorship of the orphans to stay close to Regina ¨C away so that Regina could mingle with the orphans further.
In fact, she was still speaking with the orphans and giving them bank notes that they seemed puzzled by when one of their youngest members walked up to her, gave her enormous skirts and tug and asked, ¡°Princess, will we be as tall as you when we grow up?¡±
¡°I hope so,¡± Regina replied cheerfully as she slipped a banknote into the confused child¡¯s little hands. ¡°It might depend on how large your skirts are and that will depend on how many dangers you are trying to dodge.¡±
The child looked rightfully confused so Regina slipped her another banknote and said, ¡°This will all make sense eventually.¡±
Yet even Regina¡¯s garbled explanation did not deter the gazes of the children ¨C gazes that gradually went from being curious to looking a little¡ worried.
Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.
¡°Princess,¡± one of the older girls said as she began to point up at something beyond Regina¡¯s head. ¡°You are very tall so can you tell us if that is supposed to keep wobbling?¡±
That was when Regina stopped looking down and started looking up ¨C
Only to realize that the gorgeous, floral-inscribed chandelier that she had admired in an earlier vision was starting to creak and sway dangerously¡
Right above where she was standing.
Unfortunately, Regina¡¯s horror apparently acted as some sort of orphan-magnet so instead of moving away as she would have wished, the orphans began to rush toward her to see what was making her so upset ¨C
Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Regina stared at the very beautiful and very sharp chandelier as it unhinged and began to fall toward her face.
Yet as she stared at death yet again, Regina Sheridan realized something very important.
She realized that even beyond her fear of dying¡ she was afraid that her clever plans would kill innocent children.
Perhaps that was how Regina used the last few seconds of life left to her¡
To gather the ends of her enormous skirt and scream ¡°Mooooove!¡± as she caught the orphans around her in her skirt and pushed them out of the way of the first chandelier.
Regina was so desperate to get out of the way that she almost pushed herself and her orphans to a nearby wall that she barely avoided crashing into.
Mere seconds later, she heard the resounding crash of the chandelier falling behind her ¨C and turned to see Artem staring at her, his hand extended as he used his own metallurgic magic to keep the shattered chandelier from shooting shards of jagged shrapnel at everyone.
¡°Regina!¡± Artem cried. ¡°Are you all right?!¡±
¡°We are for now!¡± she yelled back.
Then, on seeing one of the children raise a trembling hand above her head, Regina looked up ¨C
And with a burst of frantic energy, managed to toss herself and the children away from the wall before it was decimated by a chandelier falling to her last position.
¡°Regina!¡± Artem cried as he ran toward her, a drop of sweat falling down his brow as he exerted his power to keep shards from the latest chandelier from reaching her. ¡°Are you hurt?!¡±
¡°No,¡± Regina cried, before she tightened her grip on her skirt and the children in it. ¡°But we all will be if these chandeliers keep dropping anywhere I am stand¨C¡±
A creaking noise interrupted her as she stared up¡ and saw a more distant chandelier starting to sway across the room¡
Before it began unhinging itself and pointing itself at her despite her not being beneath it.
That chandelier was going to hit her, Regina realized with horror ¨C killing not only her but Artem and the children.
How was she going to survive the next few seconds, before it hit?!
How ¨C
¡°Artem!¡± Regina cried as a desperate thought came to her mind. ¡°Put some wheels on my heels and get us all moving!¡±
For a moment, as Artem stared at her with wide blue eyes, Regina feared he would not understand what she was asking ¨C
But then something strange flickered in Artem¡¯s eyes and he snapped his fingers¡
Right before Regina felt herself be lifted off the ground as her heels gained wheels that allowed Artem to push her and the orphans caught in her enormous skirt away ¨C right before another chandelier killed them all.
¡°By the blood,¡± Regina cried as she craned her neck to stare at the chandelier they had just escaped fromy. ¡°I ¨C I cannot believe that worked!¡±
Artem said nothing but from the way his fingers trembled around her waist, she could see that he was as shocked as she was.
¡°Regina¡¡± he whispered, his voice curiously husky. ¡°I had no idea¡¡±
Before he could finish, Regina honed on all the orphans crying or standing shocked in the middle of the theater¡¯s standing area ¨C
The standing area that still contained enough space for more chandeliers to fall.
¡°Get moving!¡± she screamed at Artem, already flaring her skirt up to catch as many orphans as she could. ¡°We have got to catch them all!¡±
¡°Yes, my lady!¡± Artem cried, sounding almost¡ exhilarated?
Before Regina could reflect on that much more, Artem had grabbed her by the waist and they were gliding as though he had wheels on his feet as well ¨C
Before Regina embarked on the most nerve-wracking ten minutes of her life.
Even with the speed and mobility that Artem¡¯s new wheels gave them, it was a challenge to direct Artem ¨C who could not see clearly with her in the way ¨C toward the orphans and away from chandeliers intent on crushing them.
Regina could practically feel her youth wither away as she barked orders at the obedient Artem to go left or right or forward or back as they raced to save the children before they could be crushed.
Indeed, in between the overwhelming sense of terror punctuated by moments of relief, Regina ended up having a newfound appreciation for Artem, who kept her and the children safe while she screamed directions at him.
Regina had no idea how Artem managed to wheel her, her giant skirt, and the orphans caught in it while also keeping the endless stream of shards from hitting all of them ¨C yet he somehow managed to do so without expending more than a few shaky breaths and drops of sweat.
Even so, Regina knew there was only so much room for them entourage to maneuver in the increasingly crowded common pit¡ and as she stared up after the latest chandelier, she realized there was still one chandelier dangling above them ¨C
Only on the chandelier but¨C after all the others had shattered on the floor ¨C only one narrow path to move in as well.
¡®If I miscalculate my next move,¡¯ Regina realized, ¡®we are all dead.¡¯
That was when Regina realized what she had to do.
¡°Artem,¡± she whispered, knowing without looking that her prince was listening. ¡°I need you to go on your knees and pretend you have collapsed ¨C before you ready yourself to push forward.¡±
Without another word, Artem fell to his knees so loudly she could hear them crack, causing the orphans safe within her skirt to scream.
¡°Artem!¡± she cried, not having to fight to sound frantic given all of their lives were on the line. ¡°Please ¨C Artem ¨C you have to rise before ¨C¡±
Before the final chandelier unhinged itself and began racing toward their heads.
¡°Move!¡± Regina cried as soon as she saw it drop ¨C seconds before disaster hit.
Then Regina closed her eyes, and hoped that for once in her life, someone would fulfill her trust.
It would be a very short life otherwise.
Then, to her infinite relief, it appeared her life and trust were not going to be cut short tonight.
For her prince was as swift as he was sweet ¨C and with the speed of a spring breeze, he went from his knees to his feet, pushing himself, Regina, and all the orphans away from the brink of disaster.
Afterward, on shaky knees, she felt Artem slowly turn her around and embrace her, even as the orphans embedded in the walls of her skirt protested.
¡°Sorry, children,¡± Regina wearily said. ¡°I would let you out of my skirt but I do not think I can move without dropping dead.¡±
¡°I hope,¡± a wry voice that could only belong to Henrietta said behind her, ¡°that is an exaggeration. Do you have any idea what your parents would do to me if I let you die?¡±
With a sigh, Henrietta ¨C who had probably hugged a wall far from Regina to stay safe through the turmoil ¨C came forward to help disentangle the orphans, half of whom were crying and the other half of whom were begging Artem and Regina to do it ¡®again, again!¡¯
¡°My princess!¡± cried Marquess La Belle from the depths of Regina¡¯s skirt ¨C even as Regina almost jumped in shock to realize he had been there all along, apparently lost in the tumult. ¡°You just saved my life ¨C and also, I suppose ¨C some orphans!¡±
¡°Erm,¡± Regina said, completely unprepared to handle accolades as she dealt with the aftermath of an assassination attempt. ¡°You are¡ welcome?¡±
¡°You two truly are the prince and princess of the Carcosan people!¡± Marquess La Belle cried, his former hauteur no longer apparent as he took a dumbfounded Regina¡¯s hand and kissed it several times. ¡°I pledge my loyalty to you from now on ¨C as do all those who follow me!¡±
Regina did not even have time to respond before the orphans she and Artem had saved surrounded them both, tugging on her orphan-catching skirt once more.
¡°Yes!¡± the little girl with bright purple eyes and braids cried. ¡°Princess, I wish you were our queen!¡±
¡°What?¡± Regina said, still dazed from all that had happened as she stared around her, Artem¡¯s warm arms the only thing keeping her from collapsing. ¡°Why would you¡?¡±
Before Regina could finish her sentence, Artem gently turned her around, though he still held her securely against his chest.
¡°Look, my sweet sea urchin,¡± he gently urged her as Regina¡¯s eyes widened at the spectacle before her. ¡°Look at how happy you have made everybody.¡±
Indeed, though Regina had not realized it before, she saw now that people on every level of the theater were staring down at her with awe and wonder¡
¡Before they all began clapping and screaming her and Artem¡¯s name.
¡°They all love you,¡± Artem happily said, ¡°just as they should.¡±
¡°At least,¡± Henrietta wryly said, ¡°if you do not count the people trying to assassinate you.¡±
Yet as Regina¡¯s eyes roamed from one face to another in the crowd, she caught on one face that expressed neither happiness or relief or glee at the most entertaining act the theater had ever seen.
That face belonged to Crown Prince Aaron Alpin, who stared at Regina as though he was amazed that she was still standing.
Chapter 20: A Rapid and Ridiculous Series of Events
Regina stared at the piece of paper in front of her.
"WILD WOMAN SAVES ANOTHER PASSEL OF ORPHANS, ALSO LARGE DUCK," she slowly read aloud, hoping the words would somehow change if she spoke them.
They did not.
Artem helpfully replied to her. "Do not forget the small child, sweetheart! The paper goes into great detail about how you cured that sickly noble child whose complexion cleared up and he laughed for the first time in his life when you emerged from the pond!"
"No," Regina numbly replied, "I do not think I can forget the child, no matter how hard I try."
Indeed, Regina could not forget a great many things at this point in her life.
Just then, Regina saw horror blossom on the faces of her parents ¨C though she did not know whether it came from the broadsheet article, the sight of Artem emerging upside down above the window to join them for breakfast, or some combination of the two events.
Unfortunately, all this led Regina to fear that she might die of humiliation before she was banished to a remote region to breed with Artem before dying in her sleep at the age of ninety.
Even more unfortunately, she had no way of venting her rage except to angrily stare at the headline that Artem had just presented her with.
It is not, she thought bitterly, as if this bloody paper even accurately chronicled how things happened!
What had actually happened was that after Artem had asked her to accompany him on a romantic picnic by the lake ¨C an occasion that her parents had eagerly accepted on her behalf ¨C Regina had been unpleasantly surprised by a boat ride.
That alone would not have thrilled Regina given that her assassin took that as an opportunity to stage her death via drowning ¨C
Only Artem had unwittingly made things worse by inviting the orphans from the theater to accompany them ¨C which led her to end up rescuing herself, Artem, the orphans, and a very persistent duck that might be her assassin using her surprisingly hydrodynamic skirt.
She did not even want to think of the noble child who began laughing for the first time in his life after she had emerged from the pond with the orphans and Artem riding on her petticoats.
¡°At least,¡± said Regina, reminding herself that no one outside Artem ever remembered her existence for more than a day or two, ¡°this ridiculous event will soon be quickly forgotten.
~???~
It was not quickly forgotten.
~???~
Regina held the paper in front of her like it was about to bite her.
"WILD WOMAN SWINGS TO THE RESCUE OF BAKERY, ALSO SMALL DUCK"
¡°Was this not,¡± she said through gritted teeth, ¡°the headline they used last week?¡±
¡°Oh no,¡± Artem helpfully said as he started buttering her muffin for her. ¡°Last week it was orphans and the duck was large.¡±
Regina was not sure why Artem was sitting alone with her at her breakfast table and buttering her muffins. She could only assume her parents no longer cared about her reputation as a pure and innocent maiden, probably not helped by either the newspaper headlines or the ducks that were haunting her.
Ignoring the pang of hurt at her parent¡¯s complete abandonment, Regina grimly hoped that this series of unfortunate events would kill her and Artem¡¯s reputations enough that they would be seen as breeding stock to be sent to a quiet remote location immediately after the wedding.
Even so, some part of Regina wanted to protest that her loss of reputation was not due to anything she had done. After all, it was hardly Regina¡¯s fault that she had only had a vision of an assassination attempt just before she woke in the carriage in front of the bakery.
It was even less her fault that the only way to avoid the barrel of flour that her assassin had rolled off the roof to kill her was to propel herself forward using the bakery¡¯s awning.
It was least of all her fault that her swinging skirts had somehow managed to smother a small fire when she landed, or that her skirts had moved the bakery¡¯s pet duck out of range of the fire.
Finally, landing on the chest of the owner who had been gasping for air and dislodging the biscuit from his throat was just the kind of horrifying coincidence Regina had begun to expect from her cursed life.
¡°Why in Carcosa did everyone watching start applauding at the end of that ridiculous episode?¡± Regina cried, her very soul shriveling at the memory of her burnt skirt, undone hair, and cream smeared-face at the end of the mess.
¡°Because you are the most glorious woman they have ever seen,¡± Artem sweetly said, taking advantage of her open mouth to put a piece of muffin into it.
Regina was sure that the word ¡°glorious¡± was more likely to be replaced with ¡°hilarious.¡±
Even so, Regina hoped that those overly-interested nobles and commoners would soon find another source of entertainment besides herself.
She had accomplished what she intended by becoming too much of a laughing stock to ever be a political power.
Surely the assassins would see that she was harmless and leave her be now?
~???~
Nothing in Regina¡¯s life had ever let her be.
~???~
¡°Do not,¡± Regina said through gritted teeth, ¡°even think of-¡±
"FIERCE FEMALE FIGHTS FOR FREEDOM OF FLORISTS, ALSO MEDIUM DUCK," said Henrietta very slowly.
¡°I told you,¡± said Regina, ¡°do not-¡±
¡°At least,¡± said Henrietta, handing Regina a slice of toast, ¡°it is not WILD WOMAN. Although that is probably because they wanted the full alliteration. That or they decided that a fifth headline using WILD WOMAN would not be as interesting.¡±
¡°I hate you,¡± Regina responded with great sincerity.
¡°Is that why the entrance way is full of ducks, living and made of metal?¡± asked Henrietta. ¡°Are you secretly building a duck army? That is not the worst idea I have heard.¡±
¡°I hate you very much,¡± Regina repeated passionately.
¡°I shall keep that in mind in case I see any ducks flapping furiously at me,¡± Henriette said sweetly.
That surprised a laugh out of Regina before she looked down at her toast¡ only to realize just what was missing.
¡°Why,¡± Regina slowly said as her sense of danger rose as sharply as it did when she was served mystery meat at the Sheridan manor, ¡°is my toast unbuttered?¡±
¡°Because,¡± Henrietta wryly replied, ¡°your pretty, prancing prince who would normally butter it just sent over a note saying that his older brother detained him for important Alpin business. Apparently, no amount of your prince¡¯s pouting could convince Crown Prince Aaron to let him butter your toast. Perhaps the Crown Prince is just as disturbed as I am by Prince Artem¡¯s wooing.¡±
Blinking hard and suddenly feeling no desire for toast, buttered or otherwise, Regina asked, ¡°What do you mean?¡±
¡°I mean,¡± Henrietta bluntly stated, ¡°that your pretty prince has been over a disturbing number of times ¨C more so than your parents should ever have let him, given how protective they are over you. Do you not find it odd that Prince Artem hovers over you every morning and most evenings?¡±
¡°Poor Artem does have questionable taste,¡± Regina admitted, thinking about her fiance¡¯s more-is-more philosophy to both romance and jewelry. ¡°Even so, Artem obviously loves to visit me because I am one of the few people who do not sneer at him for being so much¡ himself. I like him for being so simple and good-hearted!¡±
Henrietta just buried her face in her hands before muttering something indistinct about how simple someone else she knew was.
Huffing and knowing that Henrietta had not meant that as a compliment, Regina added, ¡°Besides, my parents allow Artem to visit whenever he wishes because they would do anything to bind a prince to me. If my parents thought they could accumulate more power by shooting me out of a cannon and into the sun, they would do so. So what does it matter if my parents let Artem have all his meals with me?¡±
Henrietta finally took her hands from her face, though her long-suffering look was not much of an improvement.
¡°If you will not look out for danger,¡± Henrietta muttered, ¡°then I will do so for you. After all, if you died, I would have no one to steal little cakes for.¡±
¡°I know that,¡± Regina instantly replied. After all, Regina knew that she could trust Henrietta with her life. ¡°You know I would also do anything I could to save you, even if it meant going against¡¡±
Regina paused, unwilling to say that she was willing to go against the family elders out loud.
Yet the grateful, if sad, smile on Henrietta¡¯s face showed that she understood Regina¡¯s unspoken wish.
Then, in a move that shocked Regina, Henrietta took Regina by the shoulders and said, ¡°If Prince Artem has ever forced you in any way to spend time with him, tell me. He might have his royal family and his pretty gold trinkets on his side but I have¡ power of my own. So if Prince Artem thinks he can get away with murder, blackmail, or constantly giving you toast with unsalted butter ¨C¡±
Henrietta smiled and flexed arm muscles that looked ready to pulverize a prince at a moment¡¯s notice.
¡°I. Will. End. Him.¡±
Henrietta then let go of a shocked Regina and added, ¡°Though if you wish to give me advice on what to do with his body afterwards, I am happy to listen. I was going to conceal different pieces of Prince Artem in various vases before taking them to be ¡°recycled¡± but I fear the viscera would give me away.¡±
¡°Duly noted,¡± Regina said, feeling both touched and terrified as she carefully maneuvered the salted butter over to her beloved cousin.
Henrietta smiled and began buttering her toast.
Regina decided that the eggs looked more appetizing.
As Regina tried hard not to think of viscera, she wondered when the newspapers would stop taking an interest in the ridiculous ways she had been forced to thwart assassinations, all of which seemed to involve ducks.
It was painful enough that the nobles kept sending gifts to mock her and that the commoners started following her when she appeared. Yet surely the newspapers would soon stop being interested in the stupidity surrounding her?
~???~
Regina had seriously underestimated how much the media enjoyed writing about stupidity.
~???~
¡°Please tell me,¡± said Regina, dread growing inside her, ¡°that you are not carrying a duck with a collar that says Reginette.¡±
¡°I can put her down if you like?¡± said Artem, blinking in confusion. ¡°After all, I can just share your latest triumph instead.¡±
¡°Oh no,¡± said Regina, horror rising even further, ¡°that will not be necessary -¡±
The newspaper unfolded like an omen of disaster.
¡°WONDERFUL WOMAN WALTZES INTO WORKSHOP, WEAKENS THE WICKED, WELCOMES WAIVERING WAIFS, ALSO DUCKS¡±, said Artem, savoring every word in a way that would have made Regina tingle¡ if it had not been about one of the most embarrassing experiences of her life thus far.
¡°Surely,¡± she weakly said, ¡°the newspapers have to eventually run out of alliteration when describing my¡ events.¡±
Stolen novel; please report.
¡°Oh no,¡± said Artem cheerfully, ¡°I am fairly sure the editor just purchased a new thesaurus last week.¡±
Regina would have responded, if not for the sharp pain that suddenly hit her ankle.
She looked down.
Reginette the duck looked back up at her.
¡°Bad duck,¡± said Artem sternly. ¡°Only I am allowed to give Regina love bites.¡±
¡°You have not,¡± said Regina, her head swimming as a deep blush dawned on her. ¡°We have not¡¡±
¡°I am just preparing for the future,¡± said Artem, as he carefully placed Reginette outside the door and took his seat at the breakfast table across from Regina. ¡°Just like the giant pond I built at the palace called Regina¡¯s Pond that is now filled with your beloved ducks.¡±
Regina stared at Artem.
¡°They are all named after you,¡± he helpfully added. ¡°So far, you have Reginette, Reginald, Regor, Rebert, Ressina, and Reginette the Second.¡±
Regina continued to stare.
¡°After all,¡± said Artem, ¡°I will not have all those nobles ¨C have Robin Buren and Ihsan Kuzey ¨C give you all those precious duck gifts without doing better myself.¡±
A strange, almost dark, expression crossed his face then was gone so quickly Regina wondered if she had imagined it.
Artem probably did not realize, Regina thought, her heart sore, that everyone was laughing at her since he himself believed she was so winsome and wonderful.
Unfortunately, there had been nothing wonderful about avoiding an assassination attempt at a metal-working workshop that, of course, had a large pond full of ducks out back and a group of small children who had been running errands.
That people were interested in her merely meant that they were excited by whatever level of absurd stupidity would come her way this day.
However, Artem never seemed to see it that way.
Artem truly believed that people¡¯s interest in her was sincere ¨C overlooking how she was a joke to the commoners (which Regina did not mind) and an object of ridicule to the nobles (which Regina did).
How else was she meant to view the way noble families treated her?
Why else would noble families keep making appointments and asking her if she was good at healing, which was obviously because her skirts kept protecting her from injury and they were mocking the way she had to keep rolling around in them?
Those same nobles then sent Regina duck-based gifts to mock her, even as they pretended it was because she loved ducks and they wanted to be in her ¡°good graces¡± ¨C
Regina took a deep breath, trying to remind herself that she would not have to deal with the nobles¡¯ mockery for too long.
This reminder was helpful, even if it was not stopping the assassinations. She just needed to stop ¨C
¡°Muffin?¡± said Artem and Regina absently opened her mouth and took a bite.
The nobles will stop mocking me soon, Regina reminded herself, as will the newspapers and even the commoners.
After all, dull Regina Sheridan was simply not interesting enough to be gossiped about for so long.
~???~
Unfortunately, Regina¡¯s standard for ¡°interesting¡± was significantly higher than the newspapers of Carcosa.
~???~
¡°No,¡± said Regina.
¡°POWERFUL PRINCESS PARADES PAST POTTERY PREVENTS PATRICIDE AND PUNISHES PERVERT WITH PLANK, ALSO PROMOTES DUCKS¡±, said Regina¡¯s mother, her smile as terrifying as the knife she was twirling in her fingers.
¡°Absolutely not,¡± Regina coldly repeated, no longer resigned to being inaudible in her life, especially with what her parents were asking of her.
¡°Where was that potter, again?¡± said Henrietta. ¡°I need some new vases and he left a note saying he would supply you with a lifetime¡¯s supply of ceramics.¡±
¡°He was near the giant pile of wood I knocked over trying to ¨C¡± snapped Regina, her head buzzing as she tried to gain control of the conversation.
¡°You see,¡± said her father, a sheath of paper filled with numbers rustling in his hands, ¡°there is some true power to being the people¡¯s princess.¡±
Regina managed not to let out a shriek of unadulterated frustration and commit patricide herself, but it was a very near thing.
¡°Those headlines and everyone who reads them are laughing at me,¡± said Regina, her teeth grinding with every word. ¡°I am the people¡¯s jester, soon to be their royal source of amusement. If we put out a paid article about me being the people¡¯s princess, they are likely to shun our family, not celebrate us!¡±
Regina wished with every fiber of her being that Artem was not mysteriously absent this morning, if only because her parents no longer joined her for breakfast if he was present.
Even if her parents and Artem had somehow overlapped, at least Artem could have stuffed Regina¡¯s mouth with muffin every time she was tempted to scream in frustration.
In fact, Regina had no idea why her parents had staged this strange intervention, but she was starting to wonder if they were not just murderous but insane.
How anyone could look at the stupidity of what kept happening to her every time she tried to thwart the visions of her own murder and think that these events made her look powerful was¡
Well, apparently, they were an editor with a thesaurus and her parents.
Even so, how anyone could look at the giant pile of ducks people kept sending her and think that she was anything but a national joke was beyond her.
The only people who treated her with even the smallest soupcon of respect were the commoners who kept trying to touch her and tell her about their aches and pains, no doubt hoping that she would do something funny enough to distract them from their misery.
Regina mostly found that heartbreaking, especially given how powerless the commoners were in the face of most nobles.
After all, even the wealthiest of commoners could have their livelihoods, homes, or even children taken away by noble families. Even Regina ¨C hardly the most worldly of people ¨C knew that if a commoner child was tested and found to have magical powers, they would be snatched away from their families by nobles eager to ¡°adopt¡± them.
So if laughing at a ridiculous noble like herself helped commoners forget the precarity of their lives¡ well, Regina did not begrudge them finding her a source of amusement.
However, Regina was far less touched by the nobles who kept questioning her on her political plans and her thoughts on the powers of Carcosa ¨C probably to see what stupidity she might spout.
Regina was fiercely determined that, while she did want to be sent into breeding exile, she was not going to entertain those nobles with the stupidity they were expecting.
So while Regina had no idea why nobles kept coming back to her even though she refused to provide them with her ¡®opinions¡¯ to entertain them¡ she refused to find new ways to let them humiliate her.
Only her parents now seemed determined to find new paths of humiliation for her by promoting her as some sort of ¡®people¡¯s princess¡¯ ¨C and Regina had no idea why.
Indeed, her parents should be the people most worried about her becoming too much of a joke! What would happen if the Alpins decided that she was too much trouble to even breed with one of their spare princes?
Regina went to bed every night trembling with horror over the prospect of the Alpins discarding her as too ridiculous even for Artem¡ and this fear was not helped by the non-Artem Alpins constantly asking her how well she healed.
Regina had assumed the Alpins would just kill her if they did not want her, but now she apparently had to fear torture as well. Who knows what they might do to her to ¡®discover¡¯ her non-existent healing powers?
¡°Our elders are very interested in you,¡± said Regina¡¯s mother, adding a new worry to Regina¡¯s mounting list of them.
Regina had no doubt the Sheridans elders were very interested in her. If she lost this engagement, Regina knew that she would not survive the night, even without outside assassins.
Regina¡¯s father chimed in, pushing his glasses back up his forehead. ¡°The elders are not¡ enthusiastic about your engagement anymore so your engagement needs to be publicly impossible to remove. Being the people¡¯s princess will help with that.¡±
Regina stared at him.
She did not expect to hear that the Sheridan elders would suddenly be against her engagement to a wealthy and well-connected ¨C if politically unimportant ¨C second prince.
Yet even if they were, why would her parents want her to keep that engagement by suddenly becoming ¡®the people¡¯s princess¡¯?
Not only was that terrible idea that would never work given Regina¡¯s wretched reputation¡ Regina had to wonder why her parents supported her engagement to Artem in the first place.
Why were her parents not siding with whatever plan the elders had¡ a plan that obviously did not involve her continuing her engagement to a politically powerless prince destined to be exiled to the countryside to breed more Alpins?
Why were her parents deciding to side with Regina and her happiness for once in their lives?
¡°I can leave the money for the ¡°people¡¯s princess¡± article with the newspaper editor on my way to the race track,¡± said her mother, decisively planting her knife in the middle of the table. ¡°It might even grant me some¡ luck.¡±
Of course, Regina thought as bitter realization dawned on her. My parents must have worked out a private deal where Artem is willing to pay handsomely for me. So regardless of what the elders want, my parents want to make sure the sale goes through so they can spend my blood money on what matters most to them¡ gambling and expensive notebooks.
¡°Are you well?¡± said Henrietta, squinting in obvious concern at whatever expression Regina had on her face.
¡°I have never been better,¡± Regina quietly replied.
She even meant it.
Regina and her parents agreed on one thing. No matter what happened, Regina was going to get married to Artem Alpin and never see any of her family ¨C except Henrietta ¨C ever again.
All she had to do was not find herself in situations so ridiculous that she became a liability rather than a useful tool.
~???~
¡°Ridiculous¡± was very much in the eye of the beholder.
~???~
The newspaper made a very lovely crackling noise as it burned.
¡°My beloved sea urchin,¡± said Artem. ¡°How many of those did you place on the fire?¡±
¡°Sixteen,¡± said Regina cheerfully. ¡°Two months worth of editorials featuring my public humiliation and also ducks.¡±
Artem muttered something about being glad he had extra copies but Regina ignored him.
After all, the articles burned very nicely.
Then, dramatically leaning back and draping her arm over her eyes, Regina murmured, ¡°By the blood, if I have to read one more sarcastic newspaper article writing about a false version of myself that is a ¡°saint¡± crossed with a clown, I will develop a complex.¡±
Artem made a noise that sounded equally baffled and amused. ¡°Why? If anything, these articles are underrating how amazing and inventive you happen to be!¡±
¡°That is true,¡± Regina conceded after a minute, withdrawing her hand to smile at her sweet fianc¨¦. ¡°That false Regina recorded in the papers does not know how to use panniers nearly as efficiently.¡±
At Artem¡¯s bright peal of laughter, Regina relaxed, feeling a little more at ease than before.
These last few months had been ridiculous¡ but when she had the privilege of having these gentle moments with Artem, she felt more at ease.
¡®Is this what our marriage will be like?¡¯ Regina wondered as she watched Artem neatly tuck the rest of the newspapers out of her sight. ¡®This warm and peaceful and¡ and happy ¨C especially if I can stop dealing with assassins for every other bloody minute?¡¯
It was a thought that made Regina smile as she watched Artem putter around, especially when he turned to her with those bright, puppy-dog eyes that were always so eager to please.
¡°I am happy you are happy,¡± Artem said, furtively looking around to see that Henrietta (the designated chaperone) was taking a nap in her corner before he leaned forward to give Regina a gentle kiss upon the lips.
Regina returned it back with equal tenderness before replying: ¡°Yes, I am. It is nice to be able to stay home with you instead of frolicking with the ducks of Carcosa. While they have their charms, I think you are even more suited to me.¡±
A deep blush colored Artem¡¯s face before he leaned forward and shared a few more slow, soft, and sweet kisses with Regina ¨C at least before the sound of Henrietta snorting in her sleep made him back away.
(Henrietta had taken to grimly carrying large vases when Artem was around. Not being nearly as much of a fool as the public thought, Artem had learned to treat Regina with far more care whenever Henrietta and her mighty vase-wielding muscles were near).
Still blushing, Artem softly whispered: ¡°I am overjoyed to know that you feel we belong together, my sweet sea urchin. You have been looking tired recently. So perhaps¡¡±
Sneaking a look over at Henrietta and finding her asleep, Artem took Regina¡¯s hand in his own and sighed.
¡°Perhaps we should spend the day resting in your family¡¯s townhouse instead of going to more invited events. We could stay home and plan our matching outfits and jewels for our honeymoon!¡±
¡°Believe me,¡± Regina sighed, ¡°I am sorely tempted by your offer. Only¡¡±
¡®Only,¡¯ she thought, ¡®I fear that if I do not offer my determined assassin the chance to kill me outdoors, he might decide to try targeting me in the townhouse once more.¡¯
After the assassin¡¯s first attempt to murder her in her bedroom while Artem serenaded her, Regina had thankfully never received visions about attacks in her family¡¯s town house again. Regina was unsure if this was because of the added guards her parents had installed at the townhouse after Artem became a frequent visitor or because the assassin wanted her dead in public.
Either way, Regina would rather thwart murder attempts anywhere but her bed.
Hanging her head, Regina resignedly said: ¡°Darling, you know how much I adore making the masses happy with my beloved presence. I would¡ love to go attend an event with you. What invitations came in?¡±
¡°Hmmm,¡± Artem said, nodding his head and looking so adorable Regina had to pat his hair as though he were a puppy. Nuzzling her hand, Artem went on to say: ¡°We have one of two choices. We could got to an exclusive assembly run by Lady Oreille ¨C the most notorious gossip in town ¨C or ¨C¡±
¡°Unless that second option consists of us rubbing ourselves with goose-fat and throwing ourselves into a bonfire,¡± Regina firmly said, ¡°we will take it.¡±
Artem smiled sweetly and took her hand in his own.
¡°Then,¡± he brightly said, ¡°how about we visit some of our nearest, dearest friends?¡±
¡°Please,¡± Regina said as her eyes went wide, ¡°tell me that we are not going to see ducks once again.¡±
¡°Oh no,¡± Artem brightly replied. ¡°The friends we will see have an even better appreciation for metallurgy!¡±
Baffled, Regina smiled before she rose before putting her arm in Artem¡¯s own.
¡°Lead on,¡± she said. ¡°I cannot wait to see what surprise you have prepared for me.¡±
Chapter 21: Of Wariness and Wainscoting
In hindsight, Regina should probably have realized that what she considered a surprise and what Artem considered a surprise were two very different types of ¡°surprises¡±.
Standing in the front yard of the orphanage in the middle of the same orphans Regina had rescued over and over again was less a ¡°surprise¡± and more ¡°Tuesday¡±.
¡®Maybe,¡¯ Regina thought, ¡®I should have asked if Artem could arrange a surprise outing that was less¡ noisy.¡¯
Indeed, while Regina enjoyed children ¨C at least when she did not have to save them from falling chandeliers or willful waters ¨C she was less than delighted to be besieged by their questions.
¡°Princess!¡± Ayla ¨C the pretty little girl with glowing brown skin and purple braids that Regina had first met during the attempted chandelier assassination ¨C cried, ¡°did you really smother a fire at a bakery using just your skirts?¡±
¡°I want to know if you actually fought off a plant going mad in the florist shop!¡± shouted Ekim, a skinny brown boy with purple eyes and black hair.
¡°If the princess could do that,¡± said Zey ¨C a slim girl with hopeful violet eyes, tan skin, and beautiful white-gold hair, ¡°maybe she can also fight off the ¨C the people who took us? Maybe she could fight with her ducks?¡±
¡°Yes, tell us more about the ducks,¡± ordered Azim, another young boy with dark blue hair and sparkling lavender eyes. ¡°I like reading about ducks when we get the newspaper people leave on the street!¡±
Unfortunately, Azim¡¯s innocent words made Regina¡¯s mind suddenly relive all the strangely duck-related assassination attempts that she had had to dodge over the last few weeks.
¡°Ducks,¡± Regina muttered, eyes wide but somehow not staring at any of the now worried-looking children surrounding her. ¡°The ducks¡ the ducks¡ the ducks¡¡±
¡°Darling?¡± Artem asked from across the room, his head snapping up from where he had been occupied in making pretty metal dolls and balls for the younger children. ¡°Are you well?¡±
Thankfully, the soothing sound of Artem¡¯s voice snapped Regina out of her duck-based stupor, though she realized that to stop her nightmares of feathery death, she needed to change the conversation.
So Regina clapped her hands and, with manic cheer, told the children, ¡°Enough about my life - you can read about it in the newspaper all the time! Why do you not share some of your memories with me?¡±
Unfortunately, if the sudden way the children before her froze meant anything, that had been the wrong request to make.
¡°Children¡?¡± Regina slowly asked, as she looked from Ayla to Ekim to the others, all of whom seemed strangely silent when they had previously been eager to speak. ¡°Are you¡ all right?¡±
Belatedly, Regina realized that even if she would have been just fine with being a bereaved orphan ¨C Henrietta aside, she loved nobody in her family and she knew the feeling was mutual ¨C these orphans might feel otherwise.
¡°You need not share anything, of course!¡± Regina then hastily added, wanting to hit herself for her incredible thoughtlessness. ¡°If you want, I can even tell you about the¡ the ducks and how wonderful they sound when they try to dive right into my skull ¨C¡±
¡°I remember,¡± pretty little Ayla quietly said, ¡°my mommy. She was crying when the carcass eaters took me from her.¡±
For a moment, Regina felt frozen by Ayla¡¯s soft words, which felt both horrible yet familiar all at once.
¡°Who are the carcass eaters?¡± Regina softly questioned, trying to sound soothing even as she fought a sudden jolt of dread. ¡°How did they take you from your mother?¡±
¡°The carcass eaters are everyone,¡± interrupted Ekim, suddenly looking furious, ¡°in this stupid Capital!¡±
¡°But not the princess!¡± Zey snapped back. ¡°She and Prince Artem are not carcass eaters like the others! They help us all the time and I know they wouldn¡¯t have brought us here!¡±
Regina felt a tug on her skirt and looked down at Zey, who wore a terribly hopeful smile on her face.
¡°Maybe,¡± Zey whispered, ¡°you can even bring us back home? I think¡¡±
Zey tugged at her skirt ¨C which Regina suddenly realized looked old and ragged and far too large for her.
¡°I think my mommy and daddy probably miss me.¡±
¡°Where is your home?¡± Regina asked, as a horrifying truth started to become obvious to her
¡°In the north,¡± Ayla replied, looking so hopeful that Regina¡¯s heart hurt. ¡°Very far north. We are all from different towns but I am from the capital ¨C the good capital.¡±
¡°Not this awful one,¡± Ekim grumbled, ¡°where they never give you enough food and it never has any spice!¡±
That prompted the rest of Regina¡¯s children to bombard her with complaints about the terrible conditions of the orphanage. The problems seemed to range from the lack of food, the lack of clean clothing, the terrible confinement and boredom to being brought to random places to be lectured at by some noble or another, even as they were constantly interrogated.
Zey whispered, ¡°They keep wanting to know what I can do in the shadows but I won¡¯t tell them. When Burak told them, they took him away.¡±
That was when Regina realized Zey was akin to commoner children that were forcefully ¡°adopted¡± by noble families when they showed signs of magic that supposedly belonged to the nobles alone ¨C
Only Regina had never heard of children being taken away from their families en-masse like this.
Feeling the last threads of her patience for these children¡¯s kidnappers snapped, Regina let a smile slowly stretch across her face.
¡°Children,¡± Regina said as pleasantly as possible, ¡°can you please help Prince Artem make more toys? We will take you all out to a nice supper with plenty of spices at my family¡¯s townhouse soon. But first, I need to speak to your matron.¡±
Perhaps it was her smile or her promise or maybe just the flicker of murder in her eyes but with slightly worried expressions, the children left to play with Artem instead.
Regina took one last look at Artem before she left. She felt an odd sense of pride emerging in her heart as she saw him make clever metal toys for the children around him.
¡®Artem will support me when I tell him I want the children relocated to my family¡¯s townhouse,¡¯ Regina realized. ¡®He wants these children to be as happy as I do ¨C and when I tell him how they were kidnapped away from their families in the north for their magic and who-only-knows what other reasons, he will also be incensed.¡¯
So though Regina¡¯s heart hurt to know that these children had suffered greatly, it also swelled with pride to know that she could count on Artem to give them the comfort that they deserved.
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¡®Maybe,¡¯ Regina thought, ¡®we can even understand why these poor children were taken away from their families in the first place once we are wed and I am truly a princess. Though first¡¡¯
Regina¡¯s wide, wide smile spread across her face once more as she turned on her heel and began to walk through the main door of the orphanage and down the first of many halls, determined to find whoever was in charge of this rotting house of pestilence.
¡®First,¡¯ she grimly decided, ¡®I am going to show whoever is in charge of this disgraceful place just why they should never have invited me.¡¯
~???~
Regina¡¯s sense of righteous indignation propelled her through three different corridors before she started to become concerned.
¡®Where are all the adults?¡¯ Regina began to wonder as she trampled through the strangely silent halls of the decrepit orphanage. ¡®A matron escorted the children to Artem and myself in the first place and should have stayed nearby so that the children did not reveal all of their dirty secrets. Instead¡¡¯
With more caution than before, Regina continued to walk the corridors, though the only noise she encountered was the sound of rats squeaking.
¡®Instead, I see no adults around ¨C not even the matrons who are supposed to keep the children alive. It is as though the adults melted into thin air. Surely they do not already know that I am angry!¡¯
Yet no matter where Regina went or how loudly she called out for others, no one came out of any of the locked doors she tried to open. The whole building had a general air of neglect, but as Regina continued down the hall, she realized that the care was so bad it almost seemed as if plants had started to grow along the walls and ceiling.
Eyes narrowed, Regina realized just how little care the authorities who ran this place had for the children¡ and vowed that when she finally met those authorities, she would show them just why the name Sheridan was feared.
¡®I know Artem is a kind and generous soul,¡¯ Regina said, ¡®but surely he can make just a handful of metal stakes for me to skewer the overseers of this orphanage. I could probably talk him into it if I tell him I want to be part of a fine Alpin family tradition!¡¯
Thus, Regina kept her nerves at bay long enough for her to finally find a door that was not locked.
Still, she opened the door with more caution than she should have needed to, almost wondering if this was some kind of ¨C
¡®Of course not,¡¯ Regina seethed, staring at the person seated before her with boiling contempt. ¡®This is no trap. I am just looking at a lazy idiot slumped over his desk, taking a nap ¨C¡¯
Regina froze.
The man¡¯s hands were in stiff claws, as if he had tried to grab the desk and failed. His eyes were open, frozen in a strange horror.
That man was not napping.
He was no longer breath¨C
Regina spun on her heel, out of the door, out of the room ¨C
And began running as though all her nightmares were a handbreadth behind her.
She ran back down the hallway, faster than she had ever run before.
She could hear sounds slowly emerging behind her and she knew if she turned around or slowed down for even a second¡
She would never hear anything else in what little remained of her life.
Slowly, so very slowly, Regina could hear a low, clinking groan gradually moving towards her-
Regina ran.
~???~
The walls were falling.
Regina was running and the walls were falling.
No, Regina thought numbly, as she barely dodged the large wooden panel falling right in front of her. The walls are not falling. It is the wainscoting.
In the strange, almost floating feeling of detachment that Regina had reached as her body pushed its absolute limit, she coldly noted that the wood paneling ¨C the wainscoting ¨C was somehow coming loose from the walls and apparently being used to murder her.
Regina ran.
Her body ached, her legs ached, the last piece of wainscoting had clipped her head and Regina thought she might be seeing blood and she was nearly to the door and she could escape and she could live -
Then there was something even more horrifying as Regina ran as her lungs felt as if they would give out¡
Regina could hear the sounds of children.
Regina could hear the sounds of children inside the orphanage.
Cursing her life, her dreams, and her not nearly pragmatic enough heart, Regina spun on her heels and ran back down a corridor, her escape collapsing behind her.
Regina ran and ran and she was so so tired and she ran up stairs and the stairs were collapsing and the wainscoting kept falling and she was not strong enough, she could not make it ¨C
¡®My beloved is the strongest and best Princess in the world.¡¯
Regina¡¯s head jerked in horror.
It was not just the children on the second floor.
If she did not reach them, Artem would die as well.
With a final burst of energy, Regina flung herself towards the only open door on the floor-
¡°This is what I call a writing ball,¡± Artem said as he displayed something that looked like a hedgehog crossed with a dictionary. ¡°If you press the buttons ¨C¡±
¡°Shut up and get in my skirts!¡± Regina screamed as she flared her skirt strategically and scooped up the frightened children along with a surprisingly compliant Artem. ¡°Artem ¨C shatter the windows and make a metal ramp going down! We need to escape this building!¡±
For a heart stopping moment, Regina feared Artem could not do what she had asked him to ¨C that such powerful magic would be beyond his metal-wielding abilities. She herself was too battered and too bruised to be of any further help herself.
However, instead of freezing in shock or fainting from exertion ¨C
Artem just closed his eyes and gave a dreamy sigh, as though he were¡ happy.
Then the windows shattered outwards, a metal ramp appeared before Regina¡¯s eyes, and she sailed them all down to safety.
~???~
¡®I cannot believe,¡¯ Regina realized as she stared up at the blue sky outside with bleary eyes, ¡®that I almost got killed by wainscoting. Bloody wooden wall paneling of all things!¡¯
Before she could continue contemplating the horrors of wainscoting peeling from orphanage walls, she heard someone exclaim, ¡°I knew following this lady around would make my career! I will finally be able to write the lead article!¡±
As she heard what could only be a stampede of reporters mixed in with the cheerful cries of orphans who wanted her to do it ¡°again, princess, let us go down the ramp again!¡± ¨C
Regina twitched and turned her head to the side, only to see an exhausted looking Artem.
For a moment, she feared he had been hurt or even knocked out from the wild display of magic she had forced him to perform.
After all, even the strongest Alpin mage would feel depleted after they had to create a 30-foot-long metal ramp sturdy enough to bear the weight of two adults and a large group of children.
However, while Artem¡¯s face was pale and streaked with sweat, his eyes were as brilliant as his brooches when he opened them.
¡°My love,¡± he sweetly whispered, though his smile quickly dimmed when he saw the pain and exertion on Regina¡¯s face. ¡°What happened?¡±
That was when Regina opened her mouth¡ and realized that she did not know.
For the first time since she had received her powers, Regina had experienced a murder attempt that came without a vision.
Chapter 22: Families and Felonies
Regina had always thought there were no dreams more terrible than the ones she had been having of her future death.
She was wrong.
When Regina woke the next morning after realizing that her vision had, for once, failed her, she woke up screaming.
Henrietta raced into the room with a very large and very ugly vase above her head that Regina barely saw because she felt the horror of her dream right down to the core of her bones.
Regina knew her cousin was speaking, but the words were a wash right over top of her head as the truth of her situation gradually grew clearer.
She could only speak after another few moments of silent panic, even as her cousin stood guard over her.
¡°Henrietta,¡± Regina finally said after she put the shattered pieces of herself back together again. ¡°What¡ would you do if someone was trying to murder you?¡±
Henrietta flexed the giant vase above her head.
Regina somehow managed a laugh, though she sobered quickly.
¡°But what,¡± she asked, ¡°if a giant vase was not going to be enough? What would you do if your murderer was not willing to appear where you could hit him?¡±
Henrietta frowned, obviously disconcerted at the thought of a problem that could not be resolved through a vase-based solution.
¡°If this is about the Sheridan elders,¡± Henrietta said at last, ¡°I believe that they will not try to murder you right now. Still, I did bring some extra special ¡°flavoring¡± if you are concerned ¨C¡±
¡°No!¡± creed Regina hastily. Though she would not shed a tear if all the Sheridan elders died, Regina was fairly sure that Henrietta thought ¡°subtle¡± was a form of fruit. So the last thing Regina wanted was for Henrietta to unsubtly try to poison the Sheridan elders on Regina¡¯s behalf and die for it.
¡°No,¡± Regina repeated, more slowly. ¡°What I meant is¡ what if there was someone who you kept seeing in your dreams? What if this person was the secret to you not getting murdered? What if hypothetically, you just had a dream where there were sixteen copies of this person all dancing around you frolicking in infinite flowers screaming ¡°darling¡± until you could bear it not one second long ¨C¡±
¡°Oh,¡± said Henrietta, cocking her head. ¡°I would probably get rid of the extra ones, but just kidnap the one that could keep you safe and attach him to you with a chain? That way you would never have to worry again.¡±
Regina stared at Henrietta who smiled back pleasantly.
¡°By the blood,¡± Regina finally whispered in utter horror. ¡°You¡ might actually be correct.¡±
Henrietta¡¯s face had an irritating habit of quickly going from surprise to smug satisfaction.
¡°Oh,¡± Henrietta said, even as her lips quirked up, ¡°so you are going to ask Prince Artem if he will ¨C¡±
Regina winced, anticipating Henrietta¡¯s reaction to the impending madness.
¡°Attach the two of us together through a chain wrapped around our wrists?¡± Henrietta concluded, to Regina¡¯s utter shock.
¡°What?¡± Regina replied, dumbfounded.
¡°I would not mind,¡± Henrietta added, sounding dubious, ¡°but I do not think you need to take it that far. I am not a fan of dancing, frolicking, or flowers so I cannot perfectly take the place of your pretty, prancing prince.¡±
Regina opened her mouth, only to find no sound coming out.
¡°However,¡± Henrietta added, looking resigned to what she would have to do to support her cousin, ¡°I will call you horrifying pet names as your princeling does if you want me to. So, darling ¨C¡±
It was almost a relief that Henrietta¡¯s increasingly horrifying words were interrupted by Artem bursting in through the window with a scream.
It was less relieving that this action caused Regina to shriek and Henrietta to reflexively throw the nearest vase ¨C which somehow always seemed to be within one brawny arm¡¯s distance ¨C at Artem.
Indeed, the only thing that prevented Henrietta from committing regicide was the surprising speed with which Artem was able to somehow rip off a brooch and throw it against the vase ¨C an act that somehow led to the vase shattering against a nearby wall.
¡°By the blood,¡± Regina cried as she felt her heart try to escape her ribcage, ¡°Artem ¨C how did you manage that?!¡±
Henrietta said something under her breath that Regina was sure she misheard about ¡°the princeling¡¯s Alpin power is to be able to do anything when you and chains are mentioned.¡±
¡°My dearest heart,¡± said Artem, though his smile somehow seeming more¡ toothy than normal. ¡°My darling sea urchin!¡±
¡°I am not sure,¡± said Regina, quite reasonably, ¡°that calling me pet names explains how you exploded a vase with your brooch!¡±
¡°Would you rather,¡± said Artem, his eyes suddenly wide and wounded, ¡°that I be hit by the vase? Because,¡± Artem added in the same breath, with that same strangely toothy smile, ¡°I can do that if that is what you wish!¡±
As Regina¡¯s eyes widened in horror, Artem marched towards one of the incredibly ugly vases that Regina was starting to realize were everywhere in the townhouse.
¡°No, my dove,¡± Regina said in genuine fear, ¡°please please do not hurt yourself! I do not want you to be hurt!¡±
Artem stopped as suddenly as if she had frozen him in place. He turned back towards her with a sorrowful smile and then walked slowly towards her.
¡°Have I made you unhappy?¡± he said softly, sounding genuinely concerned.
¡°I was just startled by you exploding a vase,¡± said Regina, now baffled and more than a little worried, ¡°but I am not unhappy.¡±
¡°Then why,¡± said Artem, softly and sadly, as he reached out to weave his fingers with hers, ¡°do you wish to ¨C to¡ chain yourself to someone other than me? Do you not enjoy the pet names I have for you? I can come up with more! My delightful badger of darkness!¡±
Regina felt the physical shiver of revulsion pass through her body as she hastily said, ¡°No! NO! The current pet names are perfect. Please do not provide me with new ones!¡±
Then Regina blinked, realizing she had missed something vital.
¡°Wait¡¡± Regina said, very slowly. ¡°How did you know what we were speaking of?¡±
¡°Because he was waiting outside the window,¡± said Henrietta at the same time as Artem said, ¡°Because I was waiting outside the window.¡±
Regina looked from one to the other.
Neither of them seemed to think this was unusual or even worth any further comment.
She realized that Henrietta had made her proposal knowing that Artem was listening¡ and that neither of them seemed to think that was worth mentioning either.
Instead, Artem cocked his head and his expression changed to one of confusion. He looked rather like a puppy who had done something wrong but was not quite sure what it had done.
¡°He arrived,¡± said Henrietta very helpfully, ¡°when I suggested that we chain ourselves together.¡±
¡°How did you notice that while I did not?¡± said Regina, now feeling both confused and somehow excluded.
¡°Because it was half past seven,¡± said Henrietta, pointing to the grandfather clock against the wall. ¡°Your princeling always arrives at half past seven.¡±
She was right, Regina realized. Regina herself had just¡ taken it for granted that Artem appeared every morning, but he did in fact have timing and a schedule.
So if Regina had been discussing something that she did not want him to hear, it was her own mistake in not realizing how thoroughly and completely he had integrated himself into her life.
¡°So,¡± said Artem tentatively, ¡°you are not going to call anyone else your sweet dove?¡±
¡°Darling,¡± said Regina wearily, ¡°it takes all my energy to find pet names for you. I do not need pet names for or from anyone else!¡±
It was maybe the most direct Regina had ever been with Artem¡ But she was well-rewarded by his look of heartfelt delight as he gently brought her hand to his mouth for a soft kiss.
As Henrietta backed away in disgust and picked up another vase that Regina was not even sure existed previously on her way out of the room, Regina let herself relax.
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After all, Regina knew Artem was¡ eccentric and even if he was strangely afraid that Regina would share horrifying pet names with someone other than himself, it was nothing to cause her concern.
No, Regina quietly thought as she fell into Artem¡¯s embrace and felt his fingers begin winding their way through her hair, Artem¡¯s pet names are not what worries me. Instead, I should worry about why I never saw a vision of my death back at the orphanage. In every other near-death experience, I saw the future ¨C which often included my corpse! So why did I almost get crushed by wainscoting without a warning?
Yet as Artem pulled away from his embrace to smile tenderly at Regina with shining eyes, she realized what she had forgotten.
Of course, Regina thought as she grasped what she had previously missed. In every other vision of my death, Artem was there to see my corpse.
It took everything in Regina¡¯s power of self-control not to gasp as she realized the truth. However, when we went to the orphanage, I left him behind¡ and he must have been unable to find me once I died.
There was only one reason a man as devoted as Artem would not have found her body and Regina could not fully suppress her shudder as she realized the truth.
The reason I could not see the future is because Artem must have been accidentally killed by the same forces as killed me. I can only see the future through Artem¡¯s eyes so if he is not able to witness my body, I am blinding my own vision. Not to mention that if I cannot see a vision, Artem must have been killed as well. From now on, I must keep him by my side at all times.
That was when Regina gazed up at Artem¡¯s tender, hopeful face and made her next play.
¡°My sweet dove,¡± Regina said, trying not to cringe at the sound of her own ridiculousness. ¡°You alone can call me all the pet names you please. I also have the perfect idea for how we can achieve even more¡ intimacy.¡±
Joy bloomed across Artem¡¯s face at the thought of being even closer to Regina.
Regina smiled and hoped it did not look as diabolical as she currently felt.
~???~
The worst part about her plans, Regina realized, was that they relied on everyone in her life being exactly as disappointing as she believed them to be.
This meant that even when Regina was successful with what she wanted to accomplish, she knew that her plans only worked because so few people in her life actually cared about her.
Therefore when Regina sat down to the breakfast table with her parents and Artem, it was surprisingly gratifying to feel him squeeze her hand in support as she braced herself for the disappointment that she was about to face.
Regina knew that her plan was going to succeed.
Unfortunately¡ Regina knew it was going to succeed because her parents cared nothing about her.
They cared only for what she could bring to them.
Only the gentle pressure of Artem¡¯s hand reminded her that her success this time would be a positive step towards a future where she never had to face that kind of disappointment again.
Taking a deep breath, Regina said, ¡°Father, mother, I have something important to share with you.¡±
Midway through stabbing at her toast with a sharp knife, Regina¡¯s mother froze, while Regina¡¯s father¡¯s eyes bulged out of his head as though he were faced with a calamity of accounting.
¡°Did,¡± said Regina¡¯s mother, her calm facade shattered due to the knife suddenly stabbing through the plate and into the table, ¡°the family elders send you a present?¡±
Before Regina could respond, Regina¡¯s father spoke as if every one of his words was as sharp as her mother¡¯s knife. ¡°We told the housekeeper that all¡ presents were to come to us first. We will be expressing our¡ displeasure immediately after breakfast-¡±
Of course, thought Regina numbly. The only thing her parents cared about was how many material goods and how much money they could accumulate. Apparently, it was even to the extent that they were taking gifts meant for her.
Regina was more convinced than ever that her plan would succeed¡ but somehow she could not even bring herself to open her mouth to confirm it.
Thus, it was a great relief to have Artem cheerfully respond with, ¡°Oh, mother and father, no! My darling has received no¡ special gifts of any kind. No, my sweet turtle dove and I have simply decided I will now be staying permanently at your family¡¯s town house. After all¡¡±
Artem¡¯s guileless smile was too sweet to be calculating, even if his words were¡ strange.
¡°I will not be persuaded otherwise. When I make up my mind to be closer to my bride, I must do as I please.¡±
Both of Regina¡¯s parents went still at that, although Regina had no idea why Artem¡¯s lovesickness would make them seem so guarded.
Feeling nervous for reasons she could not quite articulate, Regina awkwardly smiled and said, ¡°Besides, if my wonderful Artem is near, he can keep me from being chased about by wild panels of wainscoting!¡±
Of course, Regina was still not sure why the wainscoting, the heavy wooden wall paneling, on the orphanage walls had nearly crushed her during her last dance with death. She had even spent precious gold to directly investigate the wainscoting herself.
Unfortunately, the report had informed her that the wainscoting was touched by nothing more than mold and leaves. If there was some secret metal mechanism that had controlled that wainscoting, it had already been removed by the time of Regina¡¯s investigation.
Then again, Regina thought bitterly, I might be dueling against the Crown Prince himself. He has more than enough resources to hide any crime he might commit against me.
No, I cannot directly fight the Crown Prince or anyone like him. All I can do is make sure that I can see the deaths they plan for me¡ and avoid them however I can. To do that I must have Artem by my side. He is my only window into the deaths that I face!
So, fueled by pure desperation, Regina decided to ditch the last remnants of her dignity and beg.
¡°Mother and father,¡± she woefully said, ¡°Please let Artem move in already! If Artem moves in with us, everyone will see how dearly he cherishes our family!¡±
After all, if there was one factor that her parents might value more than pure gold, it was reputation. Luckily, theirs could only be increased by the news that an actual prince was willing to move in with them.
Regina was neither hurt nor surprised when her mother responded at last to that, thawing enough to say, ¡°Well, Prince Artem¡¯s stay would save us gold on windows. After all, glass is very dear.¡±
¡°That would not matter as much,¡± Regina muttered, feeling oddly irritated even though her mother was agreeing with her, ¡°if you did not spend so much of that gold on horses.¡±
Regina¡¯s mother just bitterly laughed before saying, ¡°You are just not aware of the pleasure of a good, hard ride, my dear.¡±
Regina could almost feel her heart stop in horror at the turn this conversation was taking ¨C though at least disgust was feeling better than the disappointment that came from seeing how little her parents cared for her once more.
After all, most parents would have refused to allow their unmarried daughter to live with an unrelated prince, even if their daughter was meant to marry him in a few more months!
Then again, Regina bitterly thought, my parents would not care even if I were brutally murdered like my poor sister. So why should I care if they do not mind my virtue or reputation being compromised by Artem living with me?
At least I am still alive and might stay this way if I have Artem by my side at all times. That matters more than anything.
Yet before Regina could respond, her father surprised her by slamming his fist down on the breakfast table.
¡°Is there,¡± her father bellowed, ¡°something you two need to tell me?!¡±
Even as Regina jumped in shock, she was almost¡ glad to see her father seem in the least concerned for her.
Unfortunately, any optimism she had about her father dissolved when he went on to say, ¡°Prince Artem, if we let you live with us, do you plan to burst through our doors as well as our windows?! If so, I will need to commission more carpenters so that we can get a better rate on hardwood!¡±
Regina¡¯s mother just sniggered before adding, ¡°I think there will be plenty of hardwood once the prince moves in.¡±
Before Regina could save her enemies a great deal of trouble by dying of embarrassment, Artem interrupted.
¡°Oh no!¡± her angelic prince cried. ¡°I would not not dream of redesigning your house, especially without your permission. I merely plan to try not to regularly prick Regina¡ still, it is sometimes unavoidable when coming together, so I hope that you will be understanding!¡±
Feeling horrified beyond words, Regina stared first at her mother and then at her father.
Fortunately or unfortunately, neither of them seemed inclined to speak.
Finally, an exhausted and demoralized Regina quietly asked, ¡°Artem, do your pricking-related plans mean that you will make more brooches for me?¡±
¡°Oh!¡± Artem cried. ¡°Right ¨C brooches! They do look lovely on you!¡±
Regina tried to speak but could only make a faint, wheezing noise before she gave up and looked at her parents again.
Please, she tried to silently tell them. I know I have done this to myself but please, save me before I completely succumb to the insanity.
Instead, following their long-held policy, her parents disappointed her once more.
¡°Husband,¡± Regina¡¯s mother said in a crisp voice, ¡°we should be somewhere else entirely.¡±
¡°Of course,¡± Regina¡¯s father replied, getting up without sparing his daughter another look. ¡°Good luck, you two, and try not to shatter anything else of value. I grow tired of seeing my ceramics budget constantly running a deficit.¡±
Regina just stared as her parents left her to her fate.
¡°I am an only daughter now,¡± she bitterly muttered, ¡°but I am somehow still the least favored child.¡±
Beside her, Artem presented her with a giant, freshly made brooch glittering with gold and gems.
¡°Please,¡± he said, eyes glowing with happiness as a smile spread across his handsome face, ¡°hold still so that I do not prick you¡ for now.¡±
Regina stared at him, but Artem stared back with that cheerful, thoughtless smile that seemed to have absolutely nothing but flowers and frolicking behind it.
It had to be her imagination¡ but if she was already so on edge, how would she survive two months of this kind of closeness with Artem intimately living with her?
So Regina needed to find a way to be close and yet¡ not too close.
Thankfully, there had been one invitation that Regina had not yet thrown into the wastebasket.
Perhaps that one held a temporary solution to her conundrum.
¡°My feathered fancy,¡± Regina asked her fianc¨¦ while smiling sweetly, ¡°how do you feel about dancing?¡±
When Artem¡¯s face brightened at that, Regina paused for the barest second before adding, ¡°...and fish?¡±
Chapter 23: Masks and Mirages
There were, Regina thought as she gingerly tested how well she could move in her giant panniers, few things more stressful than masquerade ball.
Regina had to both use her negligible social skills to navigate the normal tenseness of a Carcosan ball and do it while being unaware of which of her ¡®acquaintances¡¯ might want to kill her.
What¡¯s more, Carcosan masquerade balls were¡ special.
Carcosa¡¯s neighboring countries had masquerades where people just wore masks. In those magicless countries, it was generally understood that everyone knew who the others at the ball were¡ and people attending the ball simply pretended that they did not.
This was not how Carcosan masquerades worked.
Perhaps to demonstrate how much better the mages of Carcosa were than the magicless nobles in other countries, masquerade balls in Carcosa involved two minor nobles families sending enchanted masks to every participant. These masks then disguised both participants¡¯ voices and the identifying details of their physical appearance.
Thus, as a Carcosa masquerade, you truly did not know who you were speaking with.
From what Regina had been told, this privacy was mostly used for improper liaisons and for bribing servants to reveal who was wearing which costume so that ¡°accidents¡± could happen to unpopular nobles while everyone involved could claim ignorance.
As one of those unpopular nobles, Regina was not impressed by this increased risk of murder.
Yet on the other hand¡
On the other hand, fish.
As in, the fish of the Poisson Marquessate, who were hosting this masquerade. All the Poissons cared about were fish and fish associated by-products. Since Regina was not a flounder, it was unlikely the Poissons had set up the ball to see her fileted.
Therefore, this event instantly became more appealing than any of the other potential murder offerings she had been invited to attend.
There was also the very, small, tiny fact that ¨C
¡°Are you sure, my sweet sea urchin,¡± said Artem, looking utterly stunning in his dove mask, ¡°that you do not wish for a more¡ jeweled entrance?¡±
That Regina had no intention of letting people determine who she and Artem were from their usual clothing choices.
After all, in the last few months, everyone instantly recognized Artem and Regina by the dazzling array of jewelry they wore in every appearance. So Regina wanted to take advantage of that fact to become newly anonymous.
¡°No, my dove,¡± said Regina soothingly, almost feeling sorry that she had forced poor Artem to remove every piece of jewelry before they left. ¡°Tonight we want to be¡ discreet and not immediately reveal our presence. This way, we can be intimate without being bothered by the others at the ball.¡±
Also, Regina could not take one more mocking joke about asking her for favors from the crowd of nobles who had started to flock to her. The one who asked her to heal his father¡¯s gout was particularly graphic and repulsive.
The noble were obviously mocking her by asking her for things she could not do in return for favors she would desperately have liked to have, such as the support of major Carcosan noble families. Thus, even a single evening of not having to deal with their mockery would help reduce the constant headache she could not remove.
¡°You are right as always, my beloved blossom of darkness,¡± said Artem, and Regina instantly pretended that he was not generating new and even more terrible terms of endearment.
As he gently touched the edge of her falcon mask ¨C a contrast to his dove one ¨C Regina reflected on how beautiful their clothes were for the night. They were relatively unadorned and nowhere near as garish as their normal wear. Still, the falcon-and-dove theme they had settled on was striking without being outrageous and their matching costumes faintly glowed in their expensive and ¨C Regina suspected ¨C metal-enhanced materials.
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It was not the complete invisibility Regina had hoped for. Yet when she had looked in the mirror previously, with her falcon mask and her delicately glimmering gold-toned dress¡
It had been the first time in Regina¡¯s life she had ever thought that she looked¡ pretty.
It was the most foolish reason of all to agree to wear the outfit, but Regina wanted just one night where she was not an in-bred shut-in or the clown of Carcosan society.
She wanted just one night where she was a normal woman who dressed well and was able to dance with a man who loved and valued her.
However, Regina had kept her giant panniers to keep her skirt large enough to keep murderers at a good distance.
After all, she was not entirely foolish.
She had even convinced Artem to put his engagement ring on a chain around his neck as she put hers on a similar chain around her neck.
Thus, feeling as anonymous and well-prepared as she possibly could be, Regina let Artem help her into the carriage and readied herself for the night ahead.
Unfortunately, as soon as Regina settled next to Artem for a little conversation before their carriage arrived at the Poisson estate¡¯s back entrance¡
¡She found herself slowly falling asleep on the incredibly comfortable seat cushions, the exhaustion and stress of her life catching up to her all at once. She was only dimly aware of Artem adjusting his posture so that she could better lean against him and then all was black.
Unfortunately, it did not stay black for long.
For other people, a nap in the carriage would be a chance to relax and refresh.
For Regina, it was yet another vision of death.
~???~
When she found herself standing in the pale light of a poorly lit entrance, Regina resigned herself to yet another vision of the future¡ and of her mauled body.
¡°Was it fish this time?¡± she muttered to herself. ¡°I thought the Poissons would be less interested in murdering me since I am not a fish, but maybe Artem calling me his sea urchin confused them.¡±
Yet for all her cynicism, Regina quietly acknowledged that she could never get used to seeing her dead body.
Every time, she had to push down the fear and violation of seeing herself brutally harmed.
Every time, she had to force away the knowledge that someone wanted to destroy her ¨C and even worse, wanting her last minutes to be filled with as much terror as possible.
Yet what could she do but step into the vision of death that waited for her ¨C and try to thwart whatever horror might come?
Bracing herself, Regina walked away from the door, into the space lit by lanterns.
No doubt, she cynically thought, these lanterns were meant to provide opportunities for people to enjoy private moments in the shadows between the light.
This privacy was meant to allow intimacy but for unfortunates like Regina¡
Regina shook off the unsettling feeling that the shadows were somehow¡ following her as she followed the path of the lanterns, unable to see the edge of the room or space.
She only knew, as she knew her own name, that what she was seeking was at the end of the path¡ and she did not dare step off of it.
Some primal instinct inside herself could tell something was¡ wrong, and Regina had no desire to see just how realistic her visions could become.
So she walked forward and her breath felt overly loud in her ears as a fountain came into view as suddenly as if it had appeared with her footsteps.
¡°Did they drown me?¡± she said softly, somehow unwilling to break the uneasy stillness, even in a dream. ¡°That is entirely boring at this point. Surely my assassins could stand to be more creative.¡±
With a combination of resignation and revulsion, she moved around the edge of the fountain, looking for the corpse that she knew she would find.
¡°Of course, I would be in the spot highlighted by the most light,¡± Regina said in disgust. ¡°My assassins do seem to love putting on a show ¨C¡±
Then Regina stopped ¨C and screamed.
She screamed and screamed and screamed and the darkness pressed down on her until she felt like she could not breathe and she screamed until she sank to the ground, her voice no longer able to sound and she continued to scream silently.
¡°No,¡± Regina cried. ¡°NO!¡±
The dove mask continued to float gently in the water as pale golden hair was highlighted by the lights on the water.
¡°No,¡± said Regina, half-moaning. ¡°They are after me. It is not-¡±
She stopped, her eyes widening in horror.
¡°How,¡± she said, staring at the corpse of the man she had just realized that she cared for, ¡°can I see the future if the man who helps me see it is dead in front of me?¡±
Chapter 24: Fountains and Investigations
If there was one thing that Regina Sheridan could claim as her special talent, it was not her ability to see horrifying visions of her future murders.
In fact, Regina¡¯s special talent was much more mundane.
When faced with a world that seemed determined to confuse, devastate, and horrify her¡
Regina was able to focus on what was actually important.
¡°Why,¡± said Regina, the only sign of her breakdown being the slight hoarseness in her voice, ¡°does the¡ the body contain no sign of a struggle¡ or even of experiencing violence?¡±
If there was one benefit to having had to closely observe her dead bodies to determine their cause of murder, it was that Regina had become very good at determining the causes of death.
This made the strangely unmarked state of Artem¡¯s corpse all the more puzzling, even as Regina pushed down the grief and horror the sight caused her.
Firstly, as far as she could see, Artem had not died by drowning. None of the telltale signs of drowning were visible on his corpse.
Artem must have died before his body had been placed in the water¡ which meant that this particular scene was staged for others to stumble on for some terrible, unknown purpose.
Secondly, there were no obvious signs of violence. This was unsettling, since Regina knew that Artem would not allow someone to kill him without a struggle, however sweet and kind he might otherwise be.
What¡¯s more, even if Artem had chosen to accept death, there should have been some wound or sign of how he was killed.
Yet Artem¡¯s corpse was in remarkable shape, as if he was a floating statue that had just been frozen into place.
In fact, the only oddness was that¡
Regina let out a sharp breath.
Artem was holding his engagement ring firmly in his hand, the chain that had been around his neck snapped.
Regina found herself sinking down to her knees, her body too leaden to stay on its feet.
¡°Who did this to you, Artem?¡± she asked, even as she watched his corpse gently bob in the water. ¡°Who would dare do this to ¨C to your body?¡±
Somewhere in the distance, Regina heard a mournful cry, like a swan that realized its mate had gone missing.
¡°Who would dare do this unless¡ unless they wanted to send a signal to me?¡±
The ring in Artem¡¯s hand glistened in the light, both as a message¡ and a warning.
~???~
Artem¡¯s ring was the last image Regina saw in her vision before she jolted back to reality, the rattle of the carriage all she heard before Artem¡¯s voice called for her.
¡° ¨C Darling!¡± he cried, in a voice loud enough to finally penetrate Regina¡¯s daze. ¡°You started to moan and shake in your sleep out of nowhere! Are you feeling ill?¡±
Still lost in her vision, Regina could only shake her head, even as Artem urgently pulled her closer.
¡°My love,¡± Artem murmured, looking increasingly worried, ¡°what happened to you? One moment, you were sleeping soundly and the next you sounded as if you were in pain.¡±
He paused, his eyes widening. ¡°Did I serve you too many little cakes at breakfast?¡±
Regina shook her head, unable to speak and ashamed of the prickling she could feel at the corner of her eyes.
What could she say when she was obviously so unworthy of Artem¡¯s gentle love? His affection was already a source of guilt when she knew she did not honestly return it¡
But it almost felt oppressive now that she knew he would soon be caught in the web of destruction that meant to destroy her.
Still, Regina realized, that was the part that puzzled her more than any other. After all, it was one thing to kill a relatively unknown and politically powerless child of the Sheridan family. She could always be replaced by any of her numerous female cousins as a pawn of her family.
Artem on the other hand¡
For all his dear eccentricities, Artem was still an Alpin prince and she could not imagine anyone willingly killing him.
Such an act would be a declaration of war on the royal family, who would stop at no one and nothing to avenge one of their fallen kin¡ at least if said kin fell to an outsider.
¡°Nobody would dare hurt you,¡± Regina whispered. ¡°Unless¡¡±
Unless Artem had sacrificed himself in some way to save her.
The thought sent Regina into a choking fit of guilt and panic, which only paused when Artem pulled her onto his lap with surprising strength, and said, ¡°Shall we stop the carriage and turn back home?¡±
It was all Regina could do to weakly shake her head no, though Artem still ended up stopping the carriage to give her time to recover.
¡°We do not need to attend the ball if you are feeling ill,¡± Artem gently told her, taking her hand in his own. ¡°Do not worry about what the Poissons or others will say if we turn back. Your health matters more than what any of the nobles think.¡±
That was when Regina took one more look at Artem ¨C at the tender concern on his face, at the loving look in his eyes, and at his willingness to do anything for her ¨C
And with a shock that reached her bones, Regina realized that she could not let this man die.
In fact, she might even be willing to save him at the risk of her own life.
After all, though Regina desperately wanted to cling to life, at least her own death would end all the pains and burdens she endured.
Yet if Artem died¡ especially if he died for her¡
The thought was unbearable, especially since she knew Artem did not deserve to experience such a sorry ending.
By now, she had spent dozens of hours watching Artem read romance novels and create his jewelry and happily frolic through events without a care in the world. For no matter how life seemed to treat him, Artem never lost his sunny smile even in the face of disinterest, contempt, or even outright humiliation.
Even when his own family sneered or rolled their eyes at his endearing antics, Artem simply smiled and carried on being his delightful, if eccentric, self.
As someone who cared too much about the opinion of others, Regina both envied and admired Artem in turn. No matter how much death she faced, she seemed doomed to worry about the opinions of those who cared nothing for her.
Regina wanted to be like Artem, who seemed to only care about the thoughts of those he valued¡ and who valued him in return.
More than anything, she wanted Artem to live and be happy. He, of all people, did not deserve to drown in a fountain after he had tried to save her from an assassination attempt.
Therefore, if Artem was fated to die simply due to his love for her, then Regina would do whatever she needed to in order to save her prince¡
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¡°My heart?¡± Artem asked, still looking deeply worried. ¡°Are you sure you do not wish to return home?¡±
¡Even if it meant finding her would-be assassin and destroying them first.
¡°No,¡± Regina said for the first time since her vision had arrived. ¡°No, my dear heart, I have a¡ different plan for tonight.¡±
Then, with a smile that showed all too many teeth, she said, ¡°We have spent so much time entertaining our fellow nobles. Tonight, I think we should arrange it so that someone else will return that favor and entertain us.¡±
When Artem responded with enthusiastic agreement, Regina¡¯s odd smile broadened.
After all, why would she just prevent murder when she could also use her murderer as an advertisement for why nobody should underestimate Regina Sheridan?
Thus, when Regina and Artem finally arrived at the back of the Poisson estate, Regina felt as though she were lit by an inner fire.
She was still burning with determination when the carriage driver let her and Artem off the carriage at a considerable distance from the main manor, in order to disguise the family identification on the carriage.
The rule of the masquerade, after all, was that no one should be identifiable. What use would a magical disguise be if the carriage that carried them would immediately give away the game?
Regina had initially thought all these precautions were foolish and a sign of the ridiculousness of the nobles of Carcosa.
She still thought the nobles were foolish and ridiculous¡ yet now their foolishness and ridiculousness was something she would use.
¡®No matter what it takes,¡¯ she vowed as she and Artem entered the grand Poisson estate for the masquerade ball, ¡®I will not allow anyone to harm Artem or myself! My assassins were able to find me in the past because I was forced to be the center of attention. However, at this ball and with this mask, I can be what I was always meant to be. Finally, I can truly be the human wallpaper that nobody notices until it strangles them!¡¯
Regina had to fight to suppress her dark laughter as she entered into the light of the manor, her body resting against Artem¡¯s arm.
Finally, she could be the human equivalent of beige for the first time since she had come to Carcosa¡¯s Capital! Now that Regina could be as unnoticeable as she could make herself when she was trying, she could detect her enemies without enduring any of the disturbing attention she had been receiving.
Regina¡¯s barely suppressed laughter caught in her throat when her eyes finally adjusted to the light that was blinding her.
There, in front of her, was the fountain where she had found Artem¡¯s dead body.
She knew it was just a vision, that this was the real Poisson estate and not a dream, and that Artem was still alive beside her¡
But she could not help staggering as her mind placed her dream atop of the reality in front of her.
¡°Are you all right, my honeybee?¡± Artem asked with clear concern when Regina stopped in her tracks, staring at the fountain that was now swimming with fish and surrounded by servants handing out fish-based products to guests. ¡°Is there anything you need?¡±
¡®How¡¯, Regina wondered, not quite able to figure out how Artem could have fit in this overloaded fountain, ¡®did the assassins manage to remove all the fish in the fountain before placing Artem in it?¡¯
She had not seen dead fish surrounding the fountain and the lighting had been much worse-
Solving this puzzle, Regina realized, was not worth having to continue to stare at Artem¡¯s dead body in her mind. Forcing herself away from the vision of Artem¡¯s corpse and back to the present, Regina murmured, ¡°I am all right, my love. I was just¡ thinking of other things. Although¡¡±
Regina¡¯s eyes strayed toward the fountain as she realized she had two very challenging tasks to accomplish.
Firstly, she needed to keep Artem away from the fountain by any means necessary. While he had not died by drowning, the assassin had obviously not had to move his body very far. Otherwise, his dead body would have been noticed by the servants or party-goers. Therefore, the farther Artem was from the fountain, the harder it would be to get him in the fountain.
Secondly, Regina needed to be able to keep track of Artem at all times while still being able to act as a spy herself.
One would think that it would be easy to keep track of a man as covered in jewels and prone to frolicking as Artem. Unfortunately, Artem had a very bad habit of mysteriously disappearing, no matter how impossible that seemed to Regina. Not to mention that convincing him to separate from her would be¡ difficult.
I need Artem visible¡ close but not too close¡ but I must be able to track his movements¡
Regina closed his eyes against her mountainous headache and the impossibly bright light glinting off what little jewelry Artem had brought with him. She berated herself for thinking that anyone would mistake him for a lower noble, even with a reduced layer of jewelry ¨C
Regina¡¯s eyes opened in dawning realization and excitement.
¡°I could use your help, darling,¡± said Regina, her voice more delighted than she intended. ¡°Would you be willing to do one simple thing for me?¡±
¡°Of course I would, my beloved and murderous falcon!¡± said Artem, the joy on his face visible through the dove mask covering most of his features. ¡°Nothing excites me more than when you lie about the difficulty of a task you are about to ask me to perform!¡±
Regina was not entirely sure that was a compliment and she was a bit concerned about Artem¡¯s taste in excitement¡ but she was too delighted by the perfection of her solution to care.
¡°I love your compliance,¡± she said sincerely, wondering why Artem¡¯s smile became so much wider in response.
Shaking off her uneasiness, she continued.
¡°I have a very very important task for the ball. Something that only you, my er¡ sweet dove can perform. I need you to go into the ballroom and-¡±
Regina took a deep breath. What she was about to ask of Artem would negate the entire purpose of a masquerade ball¡ at least for Artem.
However, much as it would expose him to every noble at the ball, it would also keep him visible to her and, more importantly, make it impossible for any assassin to spirit him away.
¡°I want you,¡± she said, with renewed determination, ¡°to investigate every piece of jewelry in the ballroom.¡±
As Artem stared at her, Regina added hastily, ¡°Also, stay away from this fountain.¡±
Artem cocked his head in a way that reminded Regina remarkably of a very confused dog.
¡°Do you,¡± he said, ¡°want me to investigate the terrible existing jewelry of the nobles and then make them a better set of jewelry that matches our jewelry?¡±
¡°Um,¡± Regina said, dumbstruck by his leap in logic.
Undaunted, Artem excitedly went on. ¡°Are you hoping to make all the nobles at the masquerade our friends by exchanging matching jewelry with them?¡±
¡°Friends,¡± Regina responded flatly, the idea almost as horrifying as the idea of covering every noble at the masquerade with an assortment of increasingly ugly baubles that would make them look like bejeweled pincushions.
On second thought¡
Regina knew that her slowly blooming smile probably made her look as evil as her assassin.
Fortunately, she could not bring herself to care.
¡°Oh yes,¡± she said with great cheer. ¡°Please provide all the nobles with a lot of matching jewelry. Preferably with very sharp pins.¡±
After all, it was not as though the nobles of Carcosa were poor. They were just terrifying monsters who would not be won over by pretty baubles and would thus be deeply insulted by the tacky jewelry.
Yet since they could not vent their displeasure to the prince, they would spread rumors about the foolishness of the prince and his bride-to-be everywhere. With that many scurrilous rumors and noble rage, Crown Prince Aaron would be forced to let her and Artem live somewhere remote and safe rather than keeping them in the Capital.
¡°You are the best partner I could imagine,¡± she sincerely said as she gently squeezed Artem¡¯s arm in appreciation.
¡°Then perhaps,¡± said Artem, even as a strangely dark tone colored his voice, ¡°you could tell me why I must stay away from this fountain?¡±
Regina took a dark look at her watery nemesis and muttered, ¡°This is an evil fountain that should be torn apart and used for ballast.¡±
There was something unusually still about how Artem was holding himself in response that made Regina realize the truth.
Poor Artem must be horrified that she was telling him to stay away from such a seemingly pleasant place to frolic in public!
¡°Do not worry,¡± she instantly added, sad she had to disappoint his hopes in any way. ¡°I am sure the Poissons have an even better fountain somewhere else on the grounds.¡±
After all, Regina was sure that their love of fish would not be satisfied by one water structure.
¡°Then let us go and find it later,¡± Artem cheerfully replied, the odd silence passing as if it had never been. ¡°Which jewelry of ours do you wish me to match for our new friends?¡±
Regina looked at the few pieces on hers and Artem¡¯s body and picked out the largest and ugliest of the lot.
¡°Your taste is as unique as you are,¡± said Artem in what sounded like genuine admiration. ¡°Shall we go, my love and life?¡±
As Regina took a breath and stepped forward into the ball, she hoped that she could ensure that both of them would be one another¡¯s life for a long time to come.
Then she narrowed her eyes and spared one last thought for the assassin that was stalking her.
I will, she vowed, find you and have you be the one who is sleeping with the fishes.
Chapter 25: Of Nobles and Nonsense
To Regina¡¯s shock and wonder, for the first time since she had arrived in the Capital of Carcosa, a plan of hers actually seemed to work.
That is, as Artem went ahead and made an impossible-to-miss spectacle of himself parading around the room, handing an increasingly excited crowd of nobles matching versions of his ugliest brooch even as he pinned copies of their own jewelry to himself¡
Regina was able to quietly slink around the periphery of the ballroom and listen to the conversations of the oblivious nobles.
After all, Regina knew she was looking for an assassin who could be as subtle as they were murderous.
Indeed, the more she thought about the many assassination attempts that had come her way, the more she believed there must be multiple assassins at play.
She supposed that made sense. Any royal or noble powerful and wealthy enough to target her would naturally want to increase their chances of killing her. In case one assassin missed, another could make an attempt. It would explain why her deaths were so varied from one another.
That also meant that she had to fear some assassins more than others. By now, Regina had learned to roll her eyes at the clumsier attempts to take her life. She did not fear whatever assassins had tried to murder her through sending rolling barrels of flour or angry flapping fowls at her.
Their attempts were less horrifying and more an annoying hindrance to living a peaceful life.
Yet there was at least one assassin who was more subtle and cunning than the rest ¨C one whose mechanisms were surprisingly sophisticated. She had a feeling that this assassin was the one who had successfully framed and then murdered her in the timeline where she had been engaged to Prince Aaron.
She also suspected that her subtle and cunning assassin was the one who had nearly poisoned her at her engagement ball, who had almost crushed her, Artem, and the orphans to death with chandeliers at the theater, who had nearly killed with via wainscoting in the orphanage¡ and who was responsible for Artem¡¯s impending death via fountain.
Granted, it seemed ridiculous to claim that trying to crush someone with a magically controlled chandelier was subtle and yet¡
Regina grew more chilled the longer she thought about the complexity and sophistication of her cunning assassin¡¯s murder attempts.
That assassin was highly dangerous¡ yet while they had made overt attempts at murdering her, there was a surprising lack of evidence as to who was arranging those murders or how they did it. What¡¯s more, the spectacular deaths they arranged were clearly manufactured through surprisingly sophisticated use of a magic no one had been able to trace.
Her prime suspects were the Alpins ¨C who might want to murder her to destroy Artem¡¯s budding political power ¨C and her own Sheridan family¡ if only because Regina knew that her family were willing to eat their own to gain the smallest advantage. Yet even if Regina¡¯s hunches were correct, she knew her subtle assassin could only have one master.
Even given how bizarre and horrifying her life was, it beggared belief to think that two different powerful families might want her dead!
Still, Regina had to wonder why the family not trying to murder her had not yet uncovered her assassin. After all, if the Alpins wanted to murder her, the Sheridans presumably wanted to keep her alive to gain further power.
Similarly, if the Sheridans wanted to murder her, the Alpins would presumably keep her alive out of sheer spite or to gain some other advantage.
Furthermore, both families were powerful, wealthy, and had connections that Regina could not touch. Even if Regina had the advantage of foresight, the Alpins and Sheridans have every other force at their disposal.
Yet even the family that presumably wanted Regina to stay alive had not caught her most dangerous assassin, though they had to know one was stalking her. She had overcome at least four showy assassination attempts¡ yet neither of the families potentially backing her could determine their causes or culprits.
Whoever her subtle and cunning assassin was, they obviously were able to attempt murder in highly visible striking ways¡ that would point to whoever they wished to implicate, without revealing their own background.
That assassin was also able to control chandeliers and wainscoting well enough to target her directly. Regina had no idea what their magic was, though she worried it might be the metallurgy of the Alpins used in unorthodox ways.
Unfortunately, there was no way for Regina to even voice her suspicions without bringing even worse consequences to herself and those she was trying to protect. Even so, Regina wanted to rage at whatever monster was trying to kill her and Artem, regardless of the consequences. She wanted to grab every noble she could reach by the lapel and threaten to stab their eyes out until they shared whatever they might know about her assassin!
However, though Regina was now the clown of Carcosa¡¯s Capital, she was not a fool. Her greatest foe was as malicious as they were cunning and subtle.
So she needed to have those qualities as well.
Therefore, instead of grabbing and stabbing nobles for further information, she went back to her tried-and-true methods for surviving her ruthless family.
With a little effort, Regina easily became the human equivalent of beige. By blending in with the wallpaper and looking like an ordinary noblewoman, Regina was able to lurk around the ballroom and catch the gossip of various nobles, even as she kept her ears alert for any signs of unusual magic or anyone who might have a vendetta against her.
All she had to do was stay masked and silent, even though she cursed the fact that her disguise made her incapable of eating any of the little cakes that were being passed out by servers. Still, Regina did not want to risk her fondness for little cakes giving her away, especially since she had started a craze for little cakes after a certain incident with a bakery that had nearly exploded before she had defused several flour-bombs.
''Who knows if any of those cakes are poisoned anyways?'' Regina tried to reassure herself, turning away from the sight of the glistening frosting. ''Artem might have made me a brooch with antitoxin, but I cannot risk being ill, even for a few minutes. Everything that is wrong with my life happens so quickly.''
''Besides,'' Regina thought valiantly, pushing down the way the little icing decorations seemed to be calling to her, ''those cakes are probably made of fish anyways.''
So, with a famished stomach and a curious soul, she turned back to her task on quietly spying on the surrounding nobles.
At least Artem was ready to help her by providing a great distraction. Even if Regina looked better-than-usual in her lovely falcon mask and matching dress, she paled in comparison to the spectacle he was putting on as he ran from one end of the room to another, creating baubles for the increasingly excited nobles.
¡®I suppose,¡¯ Regina wearily thought as she tracked Artem while listening to the babble of nobles enamored with baubles, ¡®I thought too highly of these noble idiots. I thought they were terrifying monsters who would not be won over¡ but apparently, nothing is as effective in disarming a noble as ugly, shiny jewelry.¡¯
Still, Regina had to admit that as hideous as the jewelry was based on her initial selection, Artem dedicated himself to crafting the most exquisite pieces possible. Even from afar, Regina could admire the way he crafted each bauble with a different metal to suit the outfits of each entreating noble.
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¡®I cannot believe I even know the metals he is using,¡¯ Regina marveled even as a small smile crossed her face. ¡®I also cannot believe I learned to tell the different types of metals he uses so that I can avoid the ones that blind me the most!¡¯
After she finished wondering at her ridiculous life, Regina waited for the crowd to stop buzzing about Artem¡¯s generosity and start talking about what mattered most - herself and the people who might murder her.
However, when the conversations finally swung back to the illustrious Lady Regina Sheridan, she found herself shocked¡ and disturbed.
¡°I must admit,¡± said a noble with a large mask made of undulating flowers, ¡°that the first time I saw Lady Regina Sheridan, I was not impressed. It seemed laughable to have such a mousy, quiet girl marry into the royal family, let alone to the Crown Prince.¡±
Before Regina could finish congratulating herself on seeming too large of a fool to be worth targeting, she was shocked by the noble¡¯s next statement.
¡°Yet,¡± the noble continued, stroking the flower on her mask, ¡°she proved me wrong time and again as the months passed. Lady Regina is a political genius who might reshape Carcosa to her liking.¡±
Only Regina¡¯s mask kept her from making a fool of herself by letting her mouth drop to the ground.
Before she could interrupt the conversation by demanding to know how much alcohol the flowery noble had been drinking, another noble with a feathery mask interrupted her.
¡°Indeed,¡± the second noble said. ¡°We knew the older Sheridans were cunning enough to go from commoners to marquesses in a few generations. Yet even by their standards, Lady Regina is a political prodigy. She had only been engaged to the second prince for a few months and already¡¡±
Laughing, the second noble waved at Artem making a spectacle of himself while producing so many matching brooches that it was a wonder he had not collapsed from magical exhaustion.
¡°Already,¡± a third noble wearing a domino mask said, ¡°she has that fool of a second prince eating out of her hand. Then again, she could have hardly picked out a better fianc¨¦
for herself while amassing power. The prancing princeling is surprisingly powerful in magecraft and is utterly devoted to her. Can you believe Lady Regina even talked him into moving to her family¡¯s townhouse? Prince Artem may as well declare that he is a tool of the Sheridans to all in the land.¡±
Another noble wearing an outrageous crimson outfit that revealed a great deal of cleavage tittered. ¡°Well, you cannot blame a starving dog for following a mistress who fed him. Little Prince Artem has been neglected all his life. It is to Lady Regina¡¯s credit that she realized his potential and proceeded to¡ cultivate him. She realized that this royal dog needed a bone ¨C as well as a place to bury it.¡±
Thankfully, before the crimson noble could begin to find more innuendos to humiliate a horrified Regina, another noble in a sedate, dark-blue mask interrupted.
¡°Are you sure,¡± the dark-blue masked noble said, ¡°that Lady Regina is not just a tool of her elders? I had the chance to speak to her before at a gathering and while she was not an idiot, she seemed like any other young noblewoman. She was no brighter or cannier than the rest.
¡°She seemed, forgive me,¡± continued the blue-masked noble, with a nod to the flower-masked noble, ¡°to have a head full of flowers.¡±
¡°Do not underestimate her,¡± the flower-masked first noble warned, though Regina wanted to tell the dark-blue masked noble to continue. ¡°Lady Regina might seem as dull as most noble girls on first acquaintance¡ yet how could anyone dull create such impressive displays in public? Look at the way she handled ¡°saving¡± herself at the theater a few months ago. She had the entire crowd, nobles and commoners alike, in a frenzy at how brilliant, powerful, and brave she and Prince Artem were!¡±
¡°Oh, spare me,¡± the dark-blue masked noble muttered. ¡°Do you actually believe those so-called feats of bravery are real? You know as well as I do that the Sheridans are staging them in public to boost her and Prince Artem¡¯s popularity. The newspapers and nobles are only supporting this little play because it is an entertaining spectacle!¡±
¡°Yet is that not in itself a mark of genius?¡± the second noble with the feathery mask argued. ¡°Even if the Sheridans are staging these spectacles, Lady Regina is cunning enough to play them as though they were real attempts at saving others from peril. Her acting is better than any I have ever seen on the stage and the public loves her dearly.¡±
¡°They call her the people¡¯s princess,¡± the third domino-masked noble added. ¡°She is apparently the friend to all, from the lowest orphans that she took into her own home to powerful nobles like Marquess La Belle. I recently learned that he even pledged to marry his first-born daughter to her future son with Prince Artem. This means¡¡±
A murmur ran through the crowd of nobles at the implications, even as Regina felt lost.
¡°This means,¡± the domino-masked noble triumphantly concluded, ¡°that Marquess La Belle knows that Lady Regina and her offspring have a bright future¡ one where she and her children might be useful for someone as mercenary as the La Belles.¡±
Another ripple ran through the crowd, even as Regina¡¯s eyes widened.
¡®Surely,¡¯ Regina frantically thought, ¡®this noble is not implying what I think they are implying! They cannot possibly mean¡¡¯
¡°Oh my,¡± the flower-masked first noble murmured, raising a hand up to her masked lips with false shock. ¡°Are you implying that the ¡®people¡¯s princess¡¯ might one day become the people¡¯s queen?¡±
Even as Regina practically felt her heart stop within her chest, the domino-masked noble gave a surprisingly dainty laugh.
¡°I would never imply that,¡± the domino-masked noble purred. ¡°After all, that would imply that a lady of family that went from being commoners to marquesses in less than a century has ambitions that outstrip anything a young lady should ever consider. Though if we take a look at her handsome young swain¡¡±
One cue, the nobles and Regina turned to stare at Artem. As Regina noted with some concern, Artem had apparently exchanged matching brooches with half the nobles in the ballroom given how weighed down he was in newfound jewels.
¡°The second prince,¡± the domino-masked noble triumphantly said, ¡°wants to be friends with everyone attending this masquerade. I wonder what favors he, or his bride, will eventually exchange with those newfound friends?¡±
Another ripple ran through the crowd before the second noble with the feathery mask laughed.
¡°If I were the Crown Prince,¡± the second noble drawled, ¡°I would be quite nervous about my future prospects and quite displeased with Lady Regina Sheridan. Did she not turn down an offer to wed him instead of the second prince?¡±
¡°Indeed she did,¡± the flower-masked first noble murmured. ¡°It was the talk of the Capital for ages, since nobody could understand why she or her family wished to forgo the chance for her to wed the Crown Prince and be the next Queen.¡±
¡°Now we know,¡± the domino-masked noble triumphantly said. ¡°It is because the Sheridans had their eyes on a more vulnerable prize. Crown Prince Aaron is a little too canny and cold to manipulate with ease. If the Sheridans tried, he would find ways to contain or even destroy them. Yet Prince Artem¡¡±
Somewhere, Regina numbly heard Artem laugh and exclaim at his latest set of matching brooches.
¡°Prince Artem,¡± the noble with the feathery mask crooned, ¡°is the perfect fool. He will do whatever Lady Regina and her family tell him too, even as he carries a direct connection to the Alpin throne. Can you imagine a better puppet king for an ambitious family?¡±
¡°At this rate, the Sheridans will rise beyond mere marquesses in a few more years,¡± the flower-masked noble murmured. ¡°Do you not wonder what family they will displace?¡±
¡°How disgraceful!¡± the dark-blue-clad noble murmured, sounding as horrified as Regina felt. ¡°Are you all not disgusted by the thought of a queen with the blood of baseborn commoners coursing through her veins?! I for one ¨C¡±
¡°Need to shut up,¡± the first noble with the flower mask hissed. ¡°I tolerate your company because you are useful but you have the wits of a donkey! Lady Regina and her family are only growing in power and popularity by the night. Everywhere you go, they have friends and spies. Shut your mouth before you personally find out whatever the Sheridan powers are!¡±
That seemed to be the cue for the gathering to disperse, all the nobles fleeing from the suddenly fearful-looking dark-blue-clad noble as though he were cursed.
Regina took that as her cue to melt away also, even as her mind whirled.
¡®By the blood,¡¯ Regina realized even as she staggered from all that she had heard. ¡®Instead of being a clown, I am the most popular woman in Carcosa. Unfortunately, that gives people even more reasons to murder me.¡¯
¡®Yet what would lead me to safety? I have tried being competent. I have tried being incompetent. I have tried being unengaged. I have tried being engaged. I have tried frolicking in the flowers and being the biggest clown in Carcosa! Yet I still cannot answer the most important question in my life.
¡®How,¡¯ thought Regina numbly, ¡®do I get people to stop trying to murder me?¡¯
The jewel twinkling on her dress had no reply.
Chapter 26: Mutters and Musings
Lady Regina Sheridan did not think of herself as being a prideful person. Growing up within her murderous family made her paranoid, secretive, fearful, and startlingly good at detecting the causes of murder. However, it did not fill her with an enormous sense of self-importance.
She had never thought of herself as particularly beautiful, intelligent, cunning, or talented. However, in the aftermath of the noble conversation that she had just overhead, Regina realized she was indeed prideful in a way that could prove fatal.
Now, far too late, Regina could see that she had harbored too much pride in the conclusions that she drew from the information she knew.
Unfortunately, according to the nobles she had overheard, she had been wrong about everything.
¡®All this time,¡¯ Regina frantically thought as she hugged the walls of the masquerade ball, ¡®I thought I was seen as the crazed clown of Carcosa¡¯s Capital! Yet if these masked nobles are to be believed, I am actually a diabolical genius who manipulates Artem to gain power at a rapid pace. Moreover, I am also gaining popularity among commoners and even nobles so quickly, it appears as though I am aiming for an elevated station. If that is truly the case¡¡¯
Only the thankfully wainscoting-less walls behind Regina¡¯s back kept her from a disgraceful collapse.
¡®If that is truly the case,¡¯ Regina realized, ¡®then it is no wonder that my enemies wish to murder me. I too would want to murder a rival if I thought she would eventually become the Queen!¡¯
The idea that she wanted to make herself the Queen was so outlandish, Regina wanted to believe that no one else could believe it. After all, nobody who had ever spent time with her could believe she wanted to be a queen after years spent longing for a quiet, peaceful life.
¡®I just want to live in the countryside in peace, with a pleasant husband and a passel of children and a few flocks of sheep!¡¯ Regina cried inwardly. ¡®The last thing I want is to become the Queen of Carcosa and have even more people out to manipulate or murder me!¡¯
Even so, Regina could not remain in denial forever. After all, as she now realized, nobody in the Capital outside of Henrietta and Artem knew her well.
The commoners and nobles of the Capital merely knew her as a young lady who came from an ambitious and relatively new noble family. She was the woman who had turned down an engagement with the coldly calculating Crown Prince for his far more amiable and easy-going brother.
She could also be seen as the ambitious upstart who was constantly attending grand public engagements while proclaiming herself the ¡°people¡¯s princess¡± and saving others from danger in the most flamboyant manner possible.
Regina suddenly recalled the masses of nobles and commoners alike who had wildly cheered for her in the aftermath of her rescuing masses of orphans at the theater after she had declared that she and Artem were ¡®patriots of the Carcosan people¡¯¡
¡and felt a migraine begin to bloom between her brows.
¡®All this time,¡¯ she realized, ¡®I thought that I was making a foolish spectacle of myself. Yet apparently, the Carcosans watching me find this spectacle so entertaining and enjoyable, they might even want me to be their Queen! By the blood, what have I done to myself?!¡¯
Even worse was the sudden realization that more than just the nobles at this party might believe that Regina was making a play to be on the throne.
¡®No,¡¯ Regina thought with mounting horror. ¡®My greatest worry is not whatever the commoners or nobles or even my enemies think¡ it is what the Sheridan family elders believe! If those monsters think they could make a queen out of me, they will push me onto the throne no matter what it costs or how many assassination attempts I experience after I wear their crown. They will never stop hounding me or allow me to retire to a peaceful life in the country!¡¯
Of course, the grand joke was that if Regina ever amassed any form of power, she would immediately use it to suppress her family as much as possible!
Though Regina loved Henrietta and had some sympathy for the younger Sheridans in the same position as her, she could not give a damn about the rest of her family. If she actually became Queen, her first act would be to use all the knowledge she had of their inner workings to destroy all their power bases.
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¡®Even so,¡¯ Regina glumly acknowledged, ¡®by the time I have enough power to destroy the Sheridan elders, I will have to become Queen and stay in the Capital forever. Even if vengeance on my family would taste sweet, I would still be trapped here. Even worse, poor Artem would be trapped with me. As much as I hate the thought of being queen, he would loathe being king!¡¯
The thought of Artem momentarily calmed Regina, leading her to crane her neck to look for him. Thankfully, she soon found him wearing a blinding number of new baubles even as he continued making more for a long line of admirers.
¡®Oh Artem,¡¯ Regina wistfully thought, even as she sighed at the realization that her attempt to keep him safe looked far too much like her manipulating Artem to gain favors. ¡®I hope I have not doomed you as well as myself.¡¯
After hearing the nobles gossip that she was ¡®manipulating¡¯ Artem, Regina feared she might have made Artem¡¯s life so much worse than it previously had been.
She had no illusions about Artem. While Regina now knew that she¡ treasured him, she had spent enough time observing him to know that Artem was far too sweet and naive to harbor political ambitions on his own. Though she sometimes marveled at how someone as gentle as Artem had come from a family as ruthless as the Alpins, Regina knew Artem would never seek out political power.
She knew that all Artem wanted to do was frolic in peace while basking in her company.
Artem would be scared and upset if he realized he was being positioned to battle his elder brother, Aaron, for the throne. Regina had heard of the legendary Alpin battles over the throne and she knew that the last thing Artem wanted to do was duel his brother to the death.
What¡¯s more, even if Crown Prince Aaron somehow went away without bloodshed, Artem would be unable to carry out his new duties as king. She could not imagine sweet, single-minded Artem taking on the many responsibilities of the throne without breaking down in the end.
Even worse, Regina had a feeling she now knew why her assassin might have killed Artem in her last vision.
After all, if her assassins were desperate to ensure she would not be queen¡ their attempts on her life might become so sloppy and reckless it could kill Artem as well as herself!
¡®Blood be damned,¡¯ Regina cursed. ¡®I am not going to allow anyone to harm Artem, especially if it is because of me!¡¯
Suddenly overwhelmed by worry, Regina forced herself away from the comfort of the wall she was against and began looking for Artem once again.
¡®Please do not drown in any fountains,¡¯ she silently begged as she searched for him. ¡®I can save you if needed ¨C I have fished plenty of my cousins out of puddles when the elders felt that my cousins were getting a little too opinionated. Even so, I hope I will not have to rescue you by beating the water out of your lungs ¨C I never could do it without breaking a few ribs!¡¯
Several of the cousins that Regina had rescued from ¡®warning¡¯ drownings have even begged her to let them drown next time. Apparently, her way of ¡®rescuing¡¯ people was just that¡ intense.
A wave of relief overcame her when she saw that he was where she had last spotted him, still safely surrounded by a group of admirers.
¡®Thank the blood,¡¯ Regina thought, ¡®that Artem is safe. We need not linger at this ball now that I have learned so much. All I need to do is make my way to him and tell him we need to leave¨C¡¯
Unfortunately, right after Regina gathered up her impressive swath of skirts and began making her way to her fianc¨¦, someone interrupted her march by tapping her on the shoulder.
As Regina froze, that same someone asked, in a voice so magically altered she had no means of tracing it, ¡°My lady, would you care to dance?¡±
Even without looking at her would-be partner, Regina wanted to say no and continue on her path. The last thing she wanted to do was waste time while she had so much on her mind and so many challenges ahead of her.
However, after another moment, Regina chose instead to slowly turn back to her new partner and nod.
¡®After all,¡¯ she reminded herself, ¡®I am here to gather as much knowledge as I can, not be standoffish. Artem is safe with so many around him and no one could possibly trace my identity after it has been concealed with magic. If this unknown noble wants to dance with me, so be it. I have been so careful and bland tonight that no one else is likely to approach me. So I should take advantage of this opportunity.
¡®Perhaps I can even wheedle some more information out of him about who my potential enemies may be. Surely they cannot include everybody in this room!¡¯
With that hope, Regina gave her new partner a smile half-hidden by her falcon-mask and said, ¡°Of course, my lord. I am always happy to dance. I look forward to what we can share with one another.¡±
Her breath caught in her throat as the lordling turned fully towards her.
For the first time, Regina had a full look at the man who wished to dance with her and she wished she had not.
¡°Oh my lady,¡± said the man in the golden death¡¯s head mask, ¡°I believe we have much we can share.¡±
Chapter 27: A Dance with Death
While Regina was never one to brag about her virtues, she did take comfort in her ability to put others at ease.
Granted, her ability to put others at ease largely came from her ability to blend in so well with the wallpaper that people barely noticed she was there.
However, over the last few months, Regina had been thrust into the public eye and made the acquaintance of hundreds of Carcosans. She had comforted and housed orphans, rescued and praised scores of humble commoners, and even learned to flatter nobles like the haughty Marquess La Belle.
So while Regina still felt uncomfortable in social situations, she had learned to overcome her nerves and earn the approval of the person she was currently holding in conversation.
It had been horrifying to discover that this approval was obviously backfiring on her¡ but still.
In spite of all this, Regina had finally found a noble that was more off putting than the threat of her imminent death.
¡®Still,¡¯ she reasoned, ¡®however eerie this nobleman¡¯s mask may be, he cannot be that powerful if he is asking to dance with a mousy wallflower like I have been pretending to be. He must be a country baron or the branch member of a more powerful family that is out to find a bride before he leaves the Capital. I have nothing to fear.¡¯
Thus, Regina summoned what she hoped was an alluring smile that was barely visible through her falcon mask and said, ¡°I do enjoy sharing. Are you willing to share your secrets on this enchanted evening?¡±
The man in front of her paused briefly before laughing in a way Regina found strangely familiar even through the voice changing magic, the vines decorating the edge of his golden skull mask glinting in the light.
¡°Do you,¡± said the man, his voice still rich with amusement, ¡°normally have much success with gaining the secrets of others this way?¡±
Regina shrugged, trying to seem coy and charming rather than crass. ¡°On an evening like this, where everyone is masked but must harbor secrets, is my direct approach not worth a try?¡±
¡°I suppose,¡± said the man, sounding almost thoughtful, ¡°that if one were to only look at the people in this room, one would think that the first thing people do when they have a secret is to allow others to discover it.¡±
He was, Regina realized, entirely correct as she looked at all the nobles who obviously knew the people in their small clusters of discussion, despite the voice and feature changing magic. Much as she had made Artem reveal himself by his behavior, most of the nobles in the room had exposed themselves through their use of magic or direct conversation.
For all that the nobles at this masquerade claimed they wished to be unknown, it seemed as if they only wanted to be free of the consequences of being known.
It was as though the secrets they shared mattered not at all.
¡°So many people,¡± said Regina thoughtfully, ¡°want to feel important. Sharing a secret is a way to be important rather than the secret having value itself.¡±
¡°That is a thought worthy of your abilities,¡± said the man in front of her as Regina was unpleasantly reminded that he was standing in front of her. ¡°However, you do realize that you have just implied that I want to feel important?¡±
Regina blinked, before she remembered that she had asked him to share his secrets.
¡°Well,¡± said Regina, feeling for once like the clown she had been trying to make herself, ¡°you do seem like someone who wants to be important!¡±
The man threw back his head and let out a laugh that resounded in the hall.
¡°I cannot resist any longer,¡± he said, as he took a step towards her. ¡°You are as correct as you are charming. Please let us dance.¡±
The masked man then extended a gloved hand to her, not a single strip of skin showing beneath his outfit. With a bright smile meant to hide the sudden trepidation in her heart, Regina took it.
She was actually surprised when the man took the hand as an invitation to lead her into a smooth and stately rhythm that matched the lively music of the masquerade¡¯s orchestra. Even if this man was a country baron out to win a quiet bride to take back home, he danced like a prince.
¡°Tell me,¡± Regina teased, trying again to ease the way for an exchange of information, ¡°is one of your secrets years of dancing practice? You are one of the most graceful partners I have ever had escorting me.¡±
¡°You are truly impressive, my lady,¡± said the masked man in a tone that sounded strangely sincere. ¡°No matter what challenge you face, you pursue what matters to you in the face of overwhelming obstacles.¡±
Regina was more than a little taken aback, because she was unsure how a slightly awkward conversation could count as an overwhelming obstacle¡ unless perhaps the man in front of her was as much of in-bred shut-in as she was.
¡°Do you also find crowds a great challenge?¡± she said sympathetically. ¡°It can be hard to accomplish goals if there are too many people constantly watching everything you do.¡±
The man in front of her started and Regina felt an odd pressure against her, as if it was momentarily hard to breathe, before he laughed once more.
¡°You are truly remarkable,¡± he said. ¡°You press and then when it seems like you would retreat, you reveal another angle to seek. You deserve to find success against the likes of those who drift around this floor like the empty vases they always will be.¡±
Regina wondered for one wild, uncomfortable moment if Henrietta had both somehow managed to disguise herself as a man and make her way to the ball before realizing it was impossible.
Henrietta would have had at least one vase under her arm and not just in her conversation if she was actually present.
¡°I am unsure I deserve your praise,¡± Regina finally replied, confused by the tone of her partner¡¯s conversation. ¡°After all, I am merely the human equivalent of beige, a true wallflower.¡±
¡°I wish,¡± said the man in the death¡¯s head mask and he sounded almost sad, ¡°that you were.¡±
Regina blinked hard at that.
¡®What in Carcosa,¡¯ she wondered, ¡®does this man mean? All I have done this evening as far as anyone can tell is hug the walls and listen to other people¡¯s conversations. The only way this nobleman can believe I am not a wallflower is¡¡¯
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Suddenly, Regina¡¯s forays into bad romance novels were proving to be as prophetic as her dreams.
After all, Artem thought she had fallen in love with him during their first meeting and shortly after her rescue, he had fallen for her. Therefore as much fun as Regina and Henrietta liked to poke at bad romance novels and the inevitable love-at-first sight stories within them¡
All those terrible romance novels were accurate and noblemen really did fall for women after the briefest of acquaintances!
What¡¯s more, apparently, mousy young ladies could just waltz into a masquerade ball and have a mysterious nobleman fall in love with them even as that woman¡ did nothing remarkable.
Regina was suddenly reminded of the one very mysterious uncomfortable conversation she had had with her father when she was close to becoming of age. Her father had hemmed and hawed and finally told her to beware of men who only wanted ¡°that¡±.
Regina had no idea at the time what ¡°that¡± was and thought, based on her own parents, that men probably wanted gigantic¡ accounting charts.
Now, though, Regina suddenly realized the truth.
Apparently, the ¡°that¡± that noblemen wanted¡ was a human variation on porridge.
Suddenly armed with this horrifying truth, Regina could no longer hold back her thoughts.
¡°Do not tell me,¡± Regina cried despite herself, ¡°that you have fallen in love with me!¡±
Even as Regina stared at her suddenly still dance partner, she frantically wondered what she should do.
Should she flee from this lovestruck suitor¡ or find some way to use his ardor to pump him for more information?
Yet before Regina could make up her mind on what approach to take, her partner chose for her.
¡°You need not,¡± said the man, sounding an odd combination of amused and baffled, ¡°sound so horrified.¡±
Regina stared in open horror before the man began laughing once more.
¡°You need not fear, my lady,¡± said the man, as he began to spin her once more. ¡°I do not have what it would take to secure someone of your abilities.¡±
It was not the open denial Regina had been hoping for, but she made a mental note to warn her future children to avoid being bland. It was apparently far too dangerous to others¡¯ emotional health.
However, since the man in front of her was being physically respectful and not seeming to press the matter, Regina decided that it was worth finishing the dance, even if only to avoid drawing further attention.
The masked man rewarded her for her decision by changing the subject.
¡°So are you enjoying the¡ dance, my lady?¡±
Regina decided that he must be referring to the ball itself and wondered if he had perhaps been so blinded by his taste for porridge that he had missed her earlier role at the ball.
She was deeply puzzled as to why someone would grab her wallpaper self for a dance to begin with, much less fall in love with her, but surely anyone with eyes could see that she had been imitating a potted plant for the last half hour.
¡°Why yes,¡± said Regina, rolling her eyes behind her mask, not quite able to keep all of the sarcasm fully contained. ¡°I do enjoy watching other people spin dizzily.¡±
¡°Well, you do well when you are not watching,¡± said the masked man, expertly spinning her under his arm, in a way Regina thought was a bit¡ modern for the more formal noble dances. ¡°Watch too long though and someone might watch back.¡±
¡®Is this a threat?¡¯ Regina wondered, suddenly on much fuller alert, and wondering if she had completely misinterpreted the masked man¡¯s interest.
¡°What harm,¡± she said, her voice suddenly sharper, ¡°could merely staying out of the way do to anyone else?¡±
The man laughed once again, a surprisingly rich sound, considering how bland his speaking voice was outside of vague hints of emotion.
¡°My lady,¡± he said, when he stopped laughing, ¡°I do not believe you have ever successfully stayed out of the way in your life.¡±
Before Regina could break free of him in annoyance, he added, ¡°Even if you had, a conversation requires everyone who hears it to participate. Those who merely listen are not partners¡ they are eavesdroppers.¡±
Now truly alarmed, Regina immediately used her best Sheridan survival defense - a reminder that she was utterly and completely normal.
¡°Oh, come now,¡± she said, with a fake laugh of her own. ¡°This is a ballroom not a bedroom. Who speaks here who does not want to be heard?¡±
The man with the strangely flower-shaped mask cocked his head. ¡°You are a formidable conversationalist.¡±
Regina was glad of the mask that prevented her fear and annoyance from showing. ¡°First, I am accused of not speaking. Then I am accused of speaking formidably. How exactly should I present myself to you?¡±
The man stumbled for a second, before swiftly recovering.
¡°Now that,¡± he said with a tone of almost wonder, ¡°is a question I should have considered.¡±
¡°Well,¡± said Regina, seizing the advantage, ¡°if you are considering questions, perhaps you can also answer why you are so interested in my concerns.¡±
The man shrugged before spinning them both out of the way of another couple. ¡°You were part of the crowd and yet not. I found it interesting.¡±
¡°Do you normally,¡± said Regina dryly, ¡°ask young women you find interesting to dance and then accuse them of being inappropriate?¡±
¡°Oh no,¡± said the death mask, ¡°you are definitely the first. I hope I have been your most interesting partner as well.¡±
Regina laughed at that, relieved that the man seemed less murderous and more like a spoiled nobleman looking for his night¡¯s entertainment.
¡°I am afraid not,¡± she said gently, laughter still in her voice. ¡°I have another partner and he is¡ well, it would be hard to be more interesting than him!¡±
Hastily, hoping she did not just break this masked man¡¯s heart, Regina added, ¡°Though of course, I do not wish to slight your¡ charms. I am sure that a man like you is much in demand!¡±
Rather than responding to her flattery, the masked man paused once more and when he spoke, his voice echoed oddly behind his mask. ¡°You truly care for your fianc¨¦, do you not?¡±
Regina, frowned behind her mask, as she replied quickly and firmly, already annoyed by how people had insulted Artem all evening.
¡°Of course I do!¡± she cried. ¡°He is a kind, sweet, generous person who would move the world for me. I am grateful to have him in my life, whatever complications he might bring!¡±
After all, she would literally be dead without Artem in her life.
So how could she not care for her frolicking, shiny, jewel-bedecked dove?
It was only after Regina spoke that she had cause to wonder why the masked man sounded more sad than insulting.
She was still puzzling over the masked nobleman¡¯s tone when the air in front of her almost seemed to shimmer and ¨C
It only occurred to Regina when the man with the death mask abruptly disappeared that no one should have known she had a fianc¨¦ in the first place.
~???~
Dread building in her throat, Regina whirled to look for her always visible fianc¨¦.
As she stood there, dazed, the truth was immediately obvious.
Artem Alpin had disappeared.
Chapter 28: Panic, Princes, and Pisces
Artem Alpin was always the most noticeable person in any room he entered.
Many Carcosan noblemen were good looking and well-groomed, with Aaron Alpin, Robin Buren, and Ihsan Kuzey being particularly striking. However, Artem was the only person who shone¡ if only because he was the only one who could always double as a bejeweled chandelier.
This evening, Artem had been particularly noticeable because of his zeal in fulfilling Regina¡¯s request to make ¡°friends¡± with other nobles. After creating and exchanging dozens of individual jeweled baubles with said nobles, Artem should have been as difficult to spot as a murderous plank of wainscoting falling from orphanage walls.
As Regina frantically spun on the spot, she realized that there was no way she should not have immediately been able to find her darling goldfish by sight.
How could someone as shiny as Artem possibly have vanished and when could he have left when Regina would not have notic-
¡®By the blood!¡¯ Regina mentally cursed as the cold truth dawned on her. ¡®Did that strange masked man ask me to dance just to distract me from Artem? Where is Artem now?!¡¯
Regina began to move. It almost felt as if the world around her stood still as she started to pick up speed around the edges of the ballroom.
Where was Artem?
Without him, her foresight was entirely useless-
No, Regina realized in utter horror. Her foresight was very useful.
After all, based on her foresight, she knew exactly where Artem was.
Careless of the angry exclamations of the masked nobles in front of her, Regina ran.
Regina ran and ran and she reached the front of the Poisson manor and ran to the ugly fountain in front of the manor and-
¡°He is not here,¡± said Regina, her voice sounding as if it belonged to someone else. ¡°This was the fountain I saw Artem in¡ but he is not here.¡±
Regina¡¯s mind was strangely, peacefully blank.
¡°There are fish in the fountain,¡± she said in that voice that seemed like it belonged to someone else. ¡°There are fish and no Artem.¡±
¡°WHERE IS ARTEM?¡±
The fish did not reply.
Regina started moving towards the fountain ¨C though she was not sure of what she planned to do next.
Then the fountain suddenly glistened in the lights of the lanterns and Regina stopped moving.
¡°No,¡± she said in a voice that was more breath than sound, ¡°this is not the right fountain. The metal is all wrong. This one is more like the metal uses Artem uses for his brooches, while the fountain I saw shone like-¡±
Regina glanced down at her hand.
¡°Like the ring on my finger,¡± she breathed out in something close to horror.
Her body still felt as if it was not hers, as if someone other than her was spinning on the spot staring at the vastness of the Poisson estate, stretching far into the darkness.
¡°How,¡± said Regina, ¡°do you have more than one incredibly ugly fountain?¡±
Regina¡¯s eyes widened in further horror. ¡°And where do you put your extra fountains?¡±
Regina¡¯s eyes narrowed and Regina ran.
Regina ran and ran and grabbed the nearest noble as she entered the ballroom.
¡°Not you,¡± said Regina, spinning past the startled man in frustration.
She grabbed the next one and the next and it was none of them and then-
¡°You!¡± she said in triumph, as she spun the woman towards her, ignoring the angry noises behind her. ¡°You are going to help me!¡±
¡°I am?¡± said the woman in the fish mask, and Regina could feel the raised eyebrow behind her disguise.
¡°Oh yes,¡± said Regina, her voice full of the teeth her mask was hiding. ¡°Scion of Poisson, you will help me immediately.¡±
The woman apparently did not understand that delaying Regina was shortening her own lifespan because she said in a voice of irritation, ¡°Pray pardon me, my lady, but we are not meant to identify ourselves at a masquerade ball¡ or to answer those whose manners would be better served in a tide pool.¡±
Based on the gasps around them, this was meant to be an insult. Regina laughed and strangely the gasps stopped and the woman took a step backwards.
¡°Oh my lady,¡± said Regina, her voice the call of the falcon she was about to become, ¡°if an introduction is all you need-¡±
Regina tore off her mask and stalked forward, the woman backing up in front of her.
¡°Then let us be strangers no longer,¡± Regina told the Poisson through a smile that showed the teeth that she clearly needed to keep visible at all times. ¡°I am Lady Regina Sheridan, soon to be Princess Regina Alpin. Are you going to help me?¡±
The Poisson woman sunk into a curtsy so low that her knees nearly hit the floor¡ as her mask did hit the floor beside her.
¡°Forgive me, your highness!¡± the noblewoman said, even as she tried for a smile that did not reach her sea-green eyes. ¡°I am Paloma Poisson, at your service. What do you need from me?!¡±
¡°I need,¡± Regina said, no longer caring if people addressed her as a future queen if it got her what she needed, ¡°to visit the Poisson fountains that mirror your entrance fountain immediately.¡±
Lady Paloma did not move.
Regina needed her to move.
¡°Is there a reason,¡± said Regina as she stalked closer to Lady Paloma, idly noting the way Lady Paloma swallowed and her eyes darkened, ¡°that we are not going to the fountains?¡±
¡°Forgive me,¡± said the Lady, swaying slightly, ¡°I am honored to be of interest-¡±
Regina did not have time for whatever stupidity people who were not taking her to fountains were going to say.
¡°We love the fountains,¡± said Regina, since she could not think of a way to bodily carry this woman with her. ¡°Artem and I want to replicate every single one of them on our future estate as a sign of our¡ special relationship with the Poisson family-¡±
Which was, Regina thought grimly, going to consist of her murdering every one of them if they did not move.
¡°-so long as I can see them all in the next few minutes.¡±
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Lady Paloma looked strangely disappointed, before her face brightened.
Lies, Regina realized, worked better the more absurd and improbable that they were.
¡°My princess,¡± said Lady Paloma, her voice almost¡ worshipful. ¡°My cousin and I will gladly take you to every fountain you desire.¡±
There was another fish person, Regina realized, standing without a mask beside Lady Paloma. Maybe they replicated every time someone praised one of their fish accessories.
¡°Bring them all,¡± said Regina, making a sudden decision as she realized what she needed to do.
¡°All the young women of taste?¡± said Lady Paloma, in apparent confusion.
¡°All the Poissons,¡± said Regina, having no time for stupid questions.
¡°I wish to have as many witn- er people to honor,¡± said Regina, her teeth showing again, ¡°as can-¡±
She grabbed the hand of Lady Paloma and the other unknown.
¡°-run!¡±
Regina ran.
She was surprised that Lady Paloma and the unknown cousin kept pace with her, only providing short directions when it appeared she would run in the wrong direction. Behind them, Regina could hear the sound of dozens of feet, far more than could account for even the very fertile Poissons.
She did not look.
She ran and they ran and the servants stared as they ran down the hallway and out the dimly lit back entrance.
Regina ran faster.
¡°This is,¡± said Lady Paloma, ¡°the fountain made in honor of-¡±
¡°Lovely metal,¡± said Regina through gritted teeth, ¡°just like my brooches.¡±
She ran faster.
The cousin pointed to a structure and said ¡°When the Poissons first came to-¡±
¡°Also like my brooches,¡± said Regina, panic starting to build in her throat. ¡°Is there a fountain like my ring?¡±
Lady Paloma glanced over at her, at the ring glowing on Regina¡¯s hand, and something strange and almost understanding passed through her gaze.
¡°This way,¡± she said and Regina ran.
Regina ran and there were lanterns lighting a dimly lit path and something was wrong with the shadows and Regina ran and ran and -
It was glowing.
The fountain was glowing right at the brightest circle of light.
¡°ARTEM!¡± screamed Regina. ¡°ARTEM!¡±
He was in the brightest circle of light. He was not in the fountain.
¡°Artem,¡± said Regina in a near moan, running forward.
Artem was above the fountain.
Regina did not know how that was possible.
Regina did not care.
In that strange blank space where her mind was pleasantly numb, Regina realized he was somehow being held in the air by some kind of green¡ straps and not just him, but apparently every gasping fish from the Poisson fountain.
Regina felt something in her mind almost audibly¡ snap.
She was climbing.
She did not know when she had reached the fountain, but she was climbing. Her hands were bleeding from the rough green¡ ropes? she was climbing and she had never climbed.
Sheridans who climbed things died.
Even so, Regina climbed.
Regina climbed and there was Artem, still and pale, and someone had tied him and made him still and pale, and the noise Regina could hear sounded like it was not human.
Regina thought it might have been from her.
Regina pulled at those green, rough ropes and pulled and pulled and suddenly they were disappearing and Regina was going to fall and Artem was going to fall and Regina spread her skirts and the fish fell down them and into the fountain-
-and Artem started to fall and Regina pushed him to slide down her skirts then she was falling too and they fell and fell into the water and the fishes and Regina hoped that Artem did not hurt from her falling onto him since she was hurting and-
Regina forced herself up, past the pain, past her heavy skirts.
With strength she did not possess, she rose from the fountain and dragged her stupid ridiculous beloved goldfish out of the water.
¡°Artem,¡± she said.
Artem was pale and still and no breath passed his lips.
¡°You will not,¡± said Regina grimly, ¡°get away that easily.¡±
Her cousins might not have enjoyed her attention after they drowned, but Artem was her goldfish. He had no right to leave her!
So Regina struck him.
Water left Artem, left him choking, left him breathing.
Regina struck him again.
More water left and Artem was breathing, was not quite so still, but his breath was as shallow as the fountain that would have killed him.
¡°This is not right,¡± said that distant voice that Regina recognized as her own. ¡°This is not right!¡±
Artem should be sitting up and calling her his sea urchin and she would be telling him how stupid he was to raise himself with ropes above a fountain-
Regina stilled.
Artem had not raised himself, tied and helpless. Someone must have done it to him and they would have had to subdue him without violence, since he did not appear externally injured-
¡°Son of a thinned blood,¡± snarled Regina, vaguely noting that there were many many people around her based on how many of them gasped at her words. ¡°They poisoned him.¡±
For a moment, all Regina could see was a dearly loved face¨C
-her sister-
¨C Ava ¨C
-bent over, foaming, choking, her wide eyes frozen open forever-
As Regina stared at Artem¡¯s pale, contorting face ¨C so like the contortions of her long-dead sister ¨C Regina could feel something in her begin to burn.
¡°No,¡± she said calmly. ¡°You are mine.¡±
With smooth, even motions, she pulled the brooch from her chest-
-and stabbed Artem in the throat.
Artem jerked upwards with a gasp.
¡°So,¡± said Regina, ¡°the anti-toxin was able to work for most poisons.¡±
Then she grabbed Artem and held him and held him and held him-
¡°Darling,¡± said Artem, his voice rough, ¡°why are you crying?¡±
¡°You¡ you¡ goldfish!¡± said Regina, her voice too sore to say anything else through her sobs and he did not deserve any more words anyways.
¡°Why,¡± said Artem slowly, ¡°am I bleeding?¡±
He can, thought Regina grumpily, work that one out on his own.
Unfortunately, both Artem and Regina were soon forced to realize that they were not alone.
Apparently, all Poissons could run as quickly as Lady Paloma and her anonymous cousin, because the number of them encircling Regina and Artem was formidable.
At the center of the group was Lady Paloma, whose eyes were brimming with tears.
¡°My princess,¡± Lady Paloma said, looking utterly overcome by the moment. ¡°My family and I cannot begin to express our gratitude that you ¨C¡±
¡°Managed to save Artem?¡± Regina interrupted, sure that they must be thrilled that a royal prince was not murdered on their property.
¡°No!¡± Lady Paloma snapped, before backtracking and adding, ¡°I mean ¨C yes. Yes, of course. That is very good too. But what matters is that you managed to save Princess Pisces!¡±
Even as Regina frantically wondered whether she had somehow managed to smuggle another orphan to safety via her panniers, Lady Paloma rushed to explain.
¡°Princess Pisces is the queen of our breeding stock and without her, we would have lost years of hard work. She and her breeding program is only alive due to you ¨C which means you alone have the true love of fish needed to lead this country. Our family will support you in anything you do. All hail our new queen!¡±
As the crowd of Poissons and dozens of additional nobles began a rousing cheer for her, Regina wondered if the queen that the Poissons were hailing was Princess Pisces¡ or her.
Then she looked over at the fountain-
-Artem still and pale and unbreathing-
-and realized that it did not matter what they meant or what she thought.
The world wanted Regina dead and was willing to kill those around her to make it happen.
¡®How,¡¯ thought Regina, ¡®do you keep a goldfish alive when someone may be trying to murder him to get to you?¡¯
Chapter 29: Vases & Vices
¡°Why,¡± Regina wearily asked Henrietta several weeks after the masquerade ball, ¡°is there a corset lying on my dining table?¡±
It was not even her corset or Henrietta¡¯s corset. Whoever had worn that corset had an endowment that made Regina hope her tracts of land were nearly as large as what the corset must have contained.
¡°Hmm,¡± said Henrietta, frowning. ¡°I thought I had burned everything that came with the purple letter.¡±
Regina furrowed her brow. ¡°Was that the one that was doused in a potential toxin?¡±
Henrietta shrugged ¡°The maids told me it was a ¡®perfume¡¯ when I asked them, but nothing should smell that strongly of dying flowers unless it is meant to kill people.¡±
Regina and Henrietta shared a meaningful glance and then simultaneously turned to look at the giant pile of paper in front of them.
¡°How,¡± said Regina slowly, ¡°are there this many people in Carcosa? Much less this many nobles who wish to invite Artem and I to their¡ special events?¡±
Henrietta shrugged. ¡°Perhaps they have children that live to adulthood.¡±
Regina winced and looked around, hoping no one was paying attention. Henrietta may have become bolder since leaving the Sheridan estate, but Regina had not survived this long by letting down her guard.
Apparently though, most Carcosan nobles, except for the ones trying to poison her by letter, had no guard to speak of.
As it was, Regina was keenly aware that every one of their letters was paired with some terrifying public event she and Artem had barely managed to survive.
She picked up the one directly in front of her and read a few lines aloud. ¡°...we were impressed by your amazing display with The Lady¡¯s Guide to Etiquette in Lady Society, Lady Politics, and at Your Father or Husband¡¯s Home, the fire, and the duck¡ attend an exclusive soiree¡. Tea and ducks available¡¡±
Regina put the letter back down and stared into deep space.
¡°I wonder,¡± she said musingly, ¡°if these people would be so eager to invite me and Artem to their events if they realized that every amazing display we have put on this past month is because someone keeps trying to murder me.¡±
¡°I thought,¡± Henrietta sensibly returned, ¡°it was because these assassination attempts have convinced the nobles that you are making a play to be our next queen.¡±
As Regina buried her face in her hands at that horrific truth, Henrietta added, ¡°In fact, I believe there is a split between what the nobles believe. Half of them assume you are a spectacular actress who is falsifying all of these assassination attempts to look stalwart in the face of constant death¡ while the other half believe someone is out to murder you.¡±
For a moment, Regina foolishly felt some hope. ¡°Does that mean the other half believe I should not be queen because I am unpopular enough to incur murder?¡±
¡°Not at all,¡± Henrietta wryly said. ¡°Your ability to survive constant death threats makes those nobles even more impressed by you.¡±
¡°Why,¡± Regina asked, in despair, ¡°would anyone be impressed by my constantly dodging death?¡±
¡°Well,¡± Henrietta pointed out, ¡°if you do become the queen, you will have to thwart constant assassination attempts. I heard rumors that the King keeps a collection of mounted assassin heads over his wife¡¯s bed.¡±
Disgusted and hoping that was just a scurrilous rumor, Regina had to ask, ¡°Is the King not afraid of having their eyes on him while he is ¨C well ¨C¡±
Henrietta snorted. ¡°Have you read any of the history of the Alpins? It is just a rumor¡ but forcing dead enemies to watch them breed probably serves as an aphrodisiac to the Alpins.¡±
Regina had a horrified moment where she wondered if Artem might have similar proclivities¡ before reminding herself that her sweet dandelion of a prince was an exception to the general Alpin rule of being murderous, treacherous, and full of perversities.
Even so, the thought of having to forever fend off assassination attempts and power plays as the queen made Regina want to hoist Artem over her shoulder and run off into the country.
It had been bad enough when Regina had realized how horrifying the attempted assassination at the Poisson manor actually was.
As soon as she had arrived back at the Capital manor, she had started convulsing and required some anti-toxin of her own. Before she could wonder if the Poissons had loved her enough to poison her and mount her as a trophy, she had realized her symptoms had been the same as Artem¡
¡which meant that Regina had been in contact with the same source of poison that had infected Artem.
It had not taken long to realize that the green ropes that had made her bleed must have also delivered the toxin that had harmed her, Artem, and the fishes. Strangely enough, however, the doses had been low enough for her and the fishes that Regina was able to get anti-toxin to the Poisson fishes before they also died.
That was not the only strange part of the entire fish-based fiasco she and Artem had landed in. Indeed, in the horrible night afterwards where Regina lay awake staring at the ceiling for most of it, she had realized a few key pieces of information.
Firstly, she had realized that Artem had not gone to the fountain on his own. This was hardly a realization since Artem himself had told her that he had stepped out to tend to his toiletries, felt faint, and then woken up to her face.
However, it meant that whoever had poisoned him had had the ability to move Artem, undetected, from inside the busy manor to the fountain and raise him up with a series of complex ropes that had been later meant to disappear and make it appear as if he drowned.
This was a plan far more complex than most of the assassinations Regina had thus far faced, but it was not even the worst of her realizations.
The far grimmer realization was that Regina had obviously arrived before the actual assassination scene could be staged.
She had initially thought that the dramatic reveal of Artem and the fish had been meant as a warning. Yet after she realized that both she and the fish were poisoned as well, she felt as if the complex structure that Artem and the fish were hoisted on had not meant to be seen.
This meant Regina had managed to get to the scene before her actual vision of Artem¡¯s dead body¡ which led to yet more complications.
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After all, if Regina and others had stumbled onto Artem¡¯s body as it had appeared in her vision, others might have assumed that Artem had drowned in the water. Nobody would have checked for poison because nothing suggested Artem was poisoned.
The only ones who would have been obviously poisoned were the fish but even that would not have been apparent because who ¨C besides the Poissons ¨C would care about a pile of dead fish when they found a dead prince?
So someone had poisoned both Artem and the fish and yet, wanted to hide their means of murder through some elaborate pantomime that suggested¡
¡Regina was not even sure what this assassin wanted. All she knew was that this whole episode was confusing and frightening and then there were all the other murder attempts that month and Regina only had one way to make this all stop, only one question remaining-
¡°What do I need to do,¡± Regina plaintively asked, ¡°to show everyone that I do not want to be the next queen?!¡±
¡°I am not sure there is anything you can do,¡± Henrietta pointed out. ¡°In fact, the more you protest that you do not want the throne and would never make for a good queen, the more modest and unassuming you will seem to be. The commoners love you for all the favors you have done them and all the orphans you have taken in. Many nobles will support you after you became their ¡°friend¡±. Besides, the Sheridan elders must have heard all about your growing fame and want you to be queen too. So at this point, nobody wants you to avoid the throne except your enemies ¨C and because of your growing popularity, they would rather you be dead than alive.¡±
¡°So you are saying,¡± Regina finally managed to say after her mind had stopped spasming in horror and pain, ¡°that unless I die, I am officially too beloved to avoid being Carcosa¡¯s queen?!¡±
¡°Unfortunately,¡± Henrietta said, ¡°that is correct. The only way for you to get out of your trap is¡¡±
Henrietta hesitated in a way Regina had never seen her do before.
Then, abruptly changing the subject, Henrietta said, ¡°I know you are strung high enough to reach the clouds right about now. Is Prince Artem adding to your stress?¡±
Though Regina did not understand why her cousin wanted to change the subject so abruptly, she was willing to follow along. So, nodding, Regina admitted as much.
¡°Yes,¡± Regina said. ¡°I had enough night horrors trying to deal with the attempts on my life ¨C but now, the attempts are affecting poor Artem as well. I now have to worry about keeping him as well as myself intact. I feel like I¡¯ve gotten engaged to a pet goldfish. I never could keep goldfish alive as a child!¡±
¡°That is because the rest of the family was poisoning the fish,¡± Henrietta replied.
¡°Exactly!¡± Regina cried. ¡°This is my poor pet fish Fish all over again ¨C only even worse this time! It was hard enough to keep myself alive but now Artem stares at me with his giant goldfish eyes every time there is an attempt on his life, so I must save him as well. I feel as though I am dying!¡±
¡°You have been looking like a reanimated corpse lately,¡± Henrietta pointed out thoughtfully.
¡°Yes,¡± Regina snapped, ¡°and unfortunately, our family¡¯s magical gifts do not involve necromancy!¡±
After her outburst, Regina had to close her eyes, feeling almost ashamed that she had allowed herself this moment of honesty.
After all, Regina loved Henrietta and it felt terrible to burden her cousin with her innermost feelings. It felt like too much of a burden to place on a person who already had enough to bear on her own, however brawny her vase-laden arms might be.
Indeed, Regina did not even want to burden herself with thoughts of how truly worried she was about her future now that she knew everyone thought she was making a play to be Carcosa¡¯s future queen.
She wished she could live in happy ignorance instead. She wished that she could still dream of marrying Artem and quietly retiring to the country to live a simple, peaceful life where she never had to worry about anything more serious than murderous ducks and aromatic cheese.
Instead, Regina had a terrible feeling that by trying to free herself from one trap, she had leaped into another. Somehow, she had moved from the snare of being a victim to the bear trap of being a queen.
Her musings were only interrupted by Henrietta¡¯s voice¡ and advice that upended all the certainties in Regina¡¯s life.
¡°Why do you not let Prince Artem die then?¡± Henrietta said, even as Regina¡¯s eyes widened in shock at the suggestion. ¡°Would that not solve all your problems at once?¡±
¡°W-what,¡± Regina stuttered, ¡°do you mean?¡±
¡°Think about it,¡± Henrietta calmly said. ¡°The only reason your prancing prince is still alive is because you keep saving him, over and over again. Yet all your problems would stop if you only focused on saving yourself.¡±
¡°What,¡± Regina stupidly said, feeling oddly frozen at Henrietta¡¯s suggestion, ¡°are you saying?¡±
¡°You already know what I am saying,¡± Henrietta calmly responded. ¡°Gina, you already have a simple solution to your problem.¡±
Regina made a small noise, incapable of speaking, though she had a terrible feeling she knew what Henrietta meant.
So Regina did with it what she did with most things that made her vastly uncomfortable ¨C she took the idea and buried it so deep into her mind that she would not contemplate it except in the very depths of the night.
Instead, Regina forced a smile and said, ¡°Enough about me. Should we not be worried about your marriage, Hen? After all, you do not even have a fianc¨¦ always teetering on the verge of death!¡±
Suddenly, Henrietta, who had always been in fond possession of advice so long as Regina had known her, went silent and turned her head.
Puzzled at the sudden change in her cousin¡¯s behavior, Regina stood up to walk closer to see why Henrietta had turned her head. What could be so distracting to her cousin?
Yet as Regina started to walk closer, Henrietta suddenly moved with a speed much greater than Regina thought she possessed and grabbed Regina ¨C
Pulling the two of them to the ground and then rolling out of the way as a resounding crash sounded from where Regina had been standing.
Shaken, Regina pulled herself away from Henrietta and stared at the large pieces of a particularly ugly vase that would have no doubt killed or seriously injured her if it had landed on her head.
¡°Who,¡± Regina said, with anger and fear in her voice, ¡°thought it was a good idea to put large vases on the upper shelves of the room?!¡±
Henrietta shrugged, as though Regina had just asked who had misplaced her antivenom for the evening.
¡°Hypothetically,¡± Henrietta said, ¡°it might have been that shifty-looking butler who is new to the staff and forged his recommendation letters. This is the third assassination attempt on you that I have foiled this week.¡±
As Regina¡¯s mouth opened in shock, Henrietta helpfully added, ¡°Even if I had not, he would have been destroyed by your parents after he killed you.¡±
Regina stared at Henrietta, the last pieces of the puzzle slotting into her mind.
Henrietta stared back at her defiantly.
¡°What kind of future-telling can you see?¡± Regina softly asked, realizing with dread that she had another problem on her hands.
¡°...It seems to be based on vases,¡± Henrietta said at last. ¡°I can see the future as it happens next to them. It is easier when the vases are ugly.¡±
¡°By the blood,¡± Regina cursed, even as she marveled at the sheer ludicrousness of Henrietta¡¯s powers. ¡°Our elders will kill you if they ever find out what your power can do!¡±
¡°Then they are just going to have to not find out,¡± Henrietta snapped.
¡°Besides,¡± Henrietta added with a small, sad smile, ¡°if you live, there are many more ugly vases in my future. If you do not, I will not see any.¡±
For a moment, Regina stood still in shock, the realization that she was now responsible for Henrietta as well as Artem and herself resonating through her mind.
She needed to make sure nobody else would find out about Henrietta¡¯s bizarre vase-based foresight. To do so, Regina would need to marry Henrietta off to a noble family that would protect her or bundle Henrietta off to the countryside.
How could she do that with what favors she had accumulated so far?
Then Regina remembered a certain masquerade ball with Princess Pisces and realized what she should do.
¡°Henrietta,¡± Regina said sweetly. ¡°How open are you to fish and fish-based byproducts?¡±
Chapter 30: The Cost of Survival
Perhaps, Regina realized, there were some things that were more tortuous than dying.
She was starting to realize that ¡°pretending to care about fish and fish-based by-products¡± might actually qualify as a fate worse than death.
Regina was smiling at Lady Paloma Poisson while Artem admired the Poisson family¡¯s vast array of fish-based byproducts and fish-laced jewelry and Henrietta was stuck in the corner near a fish-headed vase ugly enough to suit her magic¡¯s taste.
Even as Regina absently attempted to socialize, Regina resolutely did not dwell on Henrietta¡¯s earlier advice.
¨C Yet all your problems would stop if you only focused on saving yourself ¨C
Instead, Regina focused on nodding enthusiastically at every interminable word that Lady Paloma Poisson had to say about her family¡¯s history of farming fish and fish-based byproducts.
After all, if Regina wanted to keep Henrietta alive, she needed to build an alliance with the Poisson family. She needed to pretend to share their increasingly disturbing piscine obsession until she could convince them to have one of their own wed Henrietta before the Sheridan elders realized that Henrietta had inherited their family¡¯s future-sight in a way that they did not approve of and killed Henrietta.
Of course, this meant that Henrietta would have to spend the rest of her life with a husband and in-laws who thought that the best way to awe a potential future monarch was to display their collection of failed frozen fish advertisement posters.
The one that said ¡°You cannot be a Carcosan, but you can eat like a Carcosan¡±, with an image of a large, apparently living fish winking beadily while peaking out of a man¡¯s mouth, was particularly horrifying.
Strangely, given the way Henrietta stared at Lady Paloma as the Poisson scion went on about how fish heads were an underused fashion accessory, the thought of such a future seemed oddly appealing to Henrietta.
¡®At least,¡¯ Regina wryly even as she kept an eye on her cousin, ¡®Henrietta is resigning herself to her future. The Poissons are the only noble family I know that are far too obsessed with fish to be plotting my destruction. Therefore, Henri is just going to have to live with an all-fish culinary and conversational diet as soon as she can safely wed one of them!¡¯
If there was, perhaps, a very very very small part of Regina that took some pleasure in thinking of Henrietta¡¯s future all-fish meals in retaliation for the thought that Henrietta had placed in Regina¡¯s mind ¨C
¨C Yet all your problems would stop if you only focused on saving yourself ¨C
Then Regina could deny that as much as she denied everything that had ever caused her grief or fear in her life.
As always, Regina forced those uncomfortable thoughts into the deepest corners of her mind and focused on something far more important¡ how to survive.
That meant that even as Regina smiled and nodded at every inane, fish-based fact that Lady Paloma enthusiastically shared, Regina thought of who might be trying to kill her.
¡®All along,¡¯ Regina acknowledged, ¡®I have suspected that Crown Prince Aaron Artem wishes to kill me. After all, he is the person with the clearest motives and means. I have always known that he dislikes me. Even in the future where I could have been engaged to him, he was happy to see me carried away in chains and to my death. He has no love for me.¡¯
¡®What is more,¡¯ Regina mused, ¡®he must hate me even more over the last few months because of the way I keep stupidly amassing power! Even if I would rather be the Capital¡¯s clown, people are putting me in the place of the Queen. This would make sweet Artem my consort and displace Crown Prince Aaron as King. My popularity must make Crown Prince Aaron¡¯s life miserable because¡¡¯
Regina went rigid at the thought, long enough for Lady Paloma to stare at her with a surprised expression that resembled the mounted fish she was stroking, before Regina pasted another reassuring smile on her face.
¡®Because,¡¯ Regina realized, ¡®Crown Prince Aaron knows that without an ambitious queen, Artem could never be king. If the Crown Prince truly loves his brother, he could simply kill me and ensure that Artem¡¯s next bride is the least ambitious woman alive.¡¯
That thought was somehow both comforting and terrifying.
Behind her increasingly rigid smile, Regina kept on thinking.
¡®Even if Crown Prince Aaron would benefit from my death,¡¯ she reasoned, ¡®he is hardly the only person who might be out to murder me. There are so many people who could benefit from my murder¡ including my own family.¡¯
On the face of it, that should have been an absurd thought. After all, most noble families would kill to place their daughter on the throne of Carcosa and to have ties to the wealthy and powerful, if incredibly treacherous, Alpin family. Regina amassing enough popularity to become the future Queen of Carcosa should have been the Sheridan elders¡¯ dream! As a commoner magickless merchant family who had made their initial money by selling Northern goods to foreign countries before they developed their magic, rising to the ultimate power of the country in three generations should be seen as an unbelievable success.
Besides, given how sweet and tractable Artem was, her family¡¯s elders surely would expect to rule the country with Artem as their puppet king. Given how Artem hopelessly doted on Regina, it was a fair assumption to make, especially given how obedient Regina had seemed so far.
Unfortunately, there was a major complication, unique to the Sheridans. One would expect the elders to be happy with her success¡
¡®¡Unless,¡¯ Regina thought grimly, ¡®the elders used their own future foresight to see that if I actually became queen, I would do my absolute best to destroy them.¡¯
As she came to this realization, Regina could almost sympathize with her enemies. Trying to thwart a foe who could see into the future and anticipate your plans had to be horrifying. In her case, it was potentially deadly.
¡®What is more,¡¯ Regina acknowledged, ¡®even if the Sheridan elders do not realize how much I loathe them¡ perhaps they have realized that I am concealing my abilities! I may now be too famous for them to ¡°recall¡± me to our family estate and throw me off a balcony¡ but that might give them even more reasons to murder me in some outlandish manner far from home.¡¯
After all, if the Sheridan elders were not sending assassins after her, then they knew the attempts on Regina¡¯s life were real. It would not be a large deductive leap to then realize that she was fending off these attempts by seeing the future.
Her family had shown time and again that they would rather murder their kin than allow them to share their powers with the rest of Carcosa. After seeing the vicious selfishness of noble society for herself, Regina could almost understand their reasoning. If the other Carcosan nobles ever learned that the Sheridans could see into the future, they would no doubt rise as one to destroy the Sheridan family and forcibly ¡°adopt¡± whatever children were left ¨C
¨C Just as they did to the Northern orphans now under Regina¡¯s care.
For a moment, something almost like sympathy for her elders lanced through Regina.
Thankfully, she was able to dispel that by reminding herself that nothing justified their murder of ¡°useless¡± children like Henrietta or Regina herself.
¡®Let me not forget,¡¯ Regina reminded herself sternly, ¡®that my elders would kill both Henrietta and myself if their future sight revealed our secret powers. I cannot assume they are my allies simply because I am on the path to being queen. It does not matter that I would rather amass a fortune by raising ducks out in the country.¡¯
The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.
Having done her fair share of battle with ducks at this point, that was truly conceding something.
Disturbed by the sheer memory of ducks, Regina took a moment to pay attention to Lady Paloma, only to realize that the Poisson noble was now making intrigued sounds as Artem started telling her about the living habits of feet fish in the North.
Hastily, Regina retreated back to her mind to think of a much safer topic, namely, the next group of people who wanted to kill her.
¡®It is not just the prince and my family who are troublesome,¡¯ Regina hastily thought. ¡®There are quite a few nobles that might benefit from my murder. Even if the Poissons are too obsessed with fish, and possibly feet fish, to plan my destruction, surely there are some nobles out there who would benefit from my death!¡¯
After all, Regina¡¯s supposed rise in power and popularity meant a lowering of Crown Prince Aaron¡¯s prestige¡ which meant that any noble families who backed him had reasons to be upset with her.
¡®This may be true,¡¯ Regina realized with a chill, ¡®even of the nobles who are pretending to support Artem and myself. There were so many who were eager to exchange ugly jewelry with Artem at the masquerade ball a few nights ago¡ yet how many would stab us in the back if Crown Prince Aaron made them a better offer?¡¯
Suddenly, Lady Paloma¡¯s eagerness to get as much information on feet fish from the cheerful and politically oblivious Artem was starting to seem¡ sinister.
Regina had to fight not to take a step back when Lady Paloma asked Artem how much experience he had with handling meat. It took Regina a few seconds to realize that this was somehow about carving up a gigantic feet fish corpse.
Increasingly disturbed, Regina realized that she could hardly yank Artem away from a polite conversation and it was not as though Lady Paloma could rush at her with a weapon. Resigned to finding some way to ignore the conversation, Regina tried to distract herself by slowly moving behind an exceedingly hideous fish-stamped vase.
¡®Fourthly,¡¯ she reminded herself, ¡®I have to worry about¡¡¯
Then she stopped, suddenly out of ideas.
¡®Is there even a fourth suspect I should be aware of?¡¯ Regina wondered. ¡®Who else might want to murder me, besides Crown Prince Aaron, ambitious nobles, and my own family¡?¡¯
Regina was not sure whether to be pleased or not when Artem popped up beside her to displace that troubling thought.
She soon settled on being pleased, as Artem gently offered his arm to her and Regina realized how much she wanted to be able to lean on him for a minute, her stress exhausting her even more than normal. She closed her eyes with a contented sigh as she felt his arm supporting her only to have them widen within a moment of him starting to speak.
¡°I have the most amazing idea,¡± said Artem cheerfully and Regina felt a terrible dread building in her chest. The last time he had said that, thirty ducks had chased Robin Buren around the palace gardens.
Smiling even more widely, Artem said, ¡°After speaking with the Poissons, I realized how much they have in common with us with their love of fish and frozen fish-based products.¡±
Regina frowned. She could not remember either her or Artem ever deliberately choosing fish for meals-
¡°Did you know,¡± said Artem, warming to the topic, ¡°that you can rub frozen fish eggs in your hair for added luster?¡±
Regina did not know. Regina wished that she continued to not know.
¡°Anyway,¡± said Artem, speaking unusually loudly, ¡°this made me realize I should express signs of our undying friendship, inspired by our deep passion for the piscine. I have created matching feet fish brooches for all of us to wear to show how friendly we are!¡±
Before Regina could even begin to process the horror of that statement, Artem had led her out from behind the vase to a gathering of what seemed like the entire Poisson family standing shockingly close to her hiding space.
Regina tried to process how all the Poissons could have manifested so suddenly. Did they have some kind of fish discussion signal?
Before she could work out the magic involved, Artem showed an even more potent magic that both thrilled and terrified her.
With a sweep of his arm, a metal table assembled itself in front of the audience and, one by one, the ugliest brooches Regina had seen yet manifested themselves down the length of the table.
¡°By the blood,¡± said Regina, her blood fleeing from her lips.
There was no possibility the Poissons could take Artem¡¯s action as anything other than a dire insult.
After all, he did not produce merely ugly brooches.
He had just produced giant ugly brooches shaped like feet fish.
She stared in abject horror at the one in front of her.
To her even greater horror, the single ugly metallic eye almost seemed to wink at her.
Perhaps there was something she could say that would allow them to leave the house alive?
Regina did not need a vision to know that this gift was going to lead to murder if she did not do something. The Poissons had not even said a word yet!
¡°My dearest dove,¡± said Regina desperately, ¡°your talents are so-¡±
¡°Incredible,¡± breathed Marquess Poisson himself, finally speaking after letting his daughter Paloma dominate the conversation. ¡°Amazing! Beautiful!¡±
It was as if he had unleashed a carnivorous frenzy and the entire family fell upon the table.
Later, Regina would try to mercifully block her mind from that scene of carnage, although it did give her a very healthy fear and understanding of the Poissons, fish based abilities, and how the seemingly-unsophisticated Poisson family had survived when many other families had not.
Her mind was still reeling from the horror, when Artem came up to her, presenting her with the shiniest, ugliest brooch Regina had seen yet.
For once in her life, Regina wanted, no needed, to turn down Artem¡¯s overtures, but just as she was about to open her mouth-
-Regina caught sight of Henrietta leaning against a pillar, looking surprisingly calm in the face of the horror unfolding in front of her.
Regina realized that she needed to accept this monstrosity if Henrietta was to have any hope of a happy future with a Poisson husband. Thus, swallowing her protests, Regina managed a shaky smile.
¡°Yes,¡± Regina said, ¡°please prick me, my prince.¡±
Suddenly, Artem¡¯s gaze was entirely on her, his pupils so large that she would never have assumed his eyes were blue had she not seen him previously.
¡°My dearest sea urchin,¡± he said, his voice trembling with an emotion that Regina instinctively wanted to shield from the others around him. ¡°If that is your dearest wish ¨C¡±
Yet before Artem could continue, Henrietta interrupted by pushing the more slender Artem out of the way and plucking Regina¡¯s brooch from his hand.
¡°This is,¡± Henrietta muttered to Regina, ¡°already mortifying enough. If I have to stand here watching you two make cow eyes at each other as well, I will set us all on fire and none of us will ever have to worry about feet fish or assassins again. Let me pin this damn brooch to you and let us leave soon.¡±
Realizing her cousin¡¯s nerves must be shot by the prospect of being married into a family who went into raptures over hideous feet fish brooches, Regina meekly let Henrietta do as she wished.
Finally, after Henrietta had finished, Regina returned to Artem¡¯s side with a smile.
¡°How did you come up with this design?¡± she said before she could control her tongue. She only hoped she sounded interested rather than horrified.
Artem did not answer for a moment as he looked over at¡ whatever the Poissons were doing with their brooches.
¡°I thought of you,¡± he said, oddly seriously, before gently linking his fingers with hers.
Regina had never been more horrified and insulted in her life.
The terrifying maw of the feet fish was visible even from her angle looking down.
Was that what Artem thought of her?
¡°Do I really,¡± she said, feeling shaken, ¡°remind you of this?¡±
Artem took their joined hands and brought them to his lips, his gaze so intense, Regina felt as if she was caught in place.
¡°Everything I do,¡± said Artem softly, ¡°reminds me of you.¡±
Regina slowly swayed towards him as if hypnotized. It was¡
He was everything she had never even dreamed of having in her life.
¨C Yet all your problems would stop if you only focused on saving yourself ¨C
Regina pulled her hand back as if burnt.
¡°Darling?¡± said Artem, obviously confused.
¡°Let us go,¡± said Regina, her guilt warring with twenty-one years of trying to survive. ¡°I am tired and I cannot show weakness in front of our potential¡ friends.¡±
¡®If that is the cost of survival,¡¯ thought Regina even as Artem came forward to support her, ¡®who will be left beside me when I am done?¡¯
Chapter 31: Mushrooms and Madness
There was something to be said, Regina realized, for fish and their role in the world.
Unfortunately, the Poissons had said all of it and even more.
Saying farewell to the school of piscine Poissons thanking them heartily for their visit and the feet fish brooches took far more time than Regina intended. This was made even more tense due to Henrietta¡¯s clear irritation over the whole situation. Still, after Regina promised to visit the Poissons again and received their promise to meet for hopefully non-fishy tea in the future, Regina and her people were ready to depart.
Yet even as Regina slipped her arm around Artem¡¯s as they headed toward the Poisson manor¡¯s entrance, she was lost in thought.
¡®Right now,¡¯ Regina decided, ¡®my main goal is keep Artem and myself alive long enough for our wedding to take place in a month. After we wed, I can use my new status as a princess to determine if the Poissons are my allies. If they are, Henrietta can marry one of their fish-mongers that she can carry over her shoulders like an ugly vase. Then, Artem and I¡¡¯
Regina could barely suppress her sigh, lest it disturb Artem¡¯s happiness. She wanted at least one of them to be content with life.
¡®Ideally,¡¯ she acknowledged, ¡®Artem and I would take off in the middle of the night to some remote country estate that we would barricade against assassins. I could even pretend to have lost my mind from repeated duck-based stress. That would disqualify me from being queen and make my enemies lose interest in me¡¡¯
¡®Right?¡¯
¡®¡Right.¡¯
Still preoccupied with her musings and weighed down with her hideous new feet fish brooch, Regina started to head towards the door with Artem¡
¡before she froze, her had feeling as if it would split in two-
¨C Artem crumbled at her feet, his body still twitching, a torn arm emerging from the green mass that engulfed him ¨C
Regina felt her breath catch in her throat, her heart sounding in her ear, Artem turning towards her ¨C
¡°Darling, what is wrong?¡± Artem asked, concern clear in his voice as he looked at her, gently holding her hand even as she fought not to tremble. ¡°Did you see something unsettling?¡±
¡®Yes,¡¯ Regina did not say. ¡®I saw you die today because you took a blow that was meant for me when our exit from the Poissons was intercepted by assassins.¡¯
Regina opened her mouth to say something, to delay Artem from walking out the door and to his death, to tell him to stop walking because ¨C
¨C Yet all your problems would stop if you only focused on saving yourself ¨C
For a moment, it was though Regina was locked into another vision, though she knew it was her imagination rather than her magic at work.
She could vividly see in her mind what would happen if she did nothing and let Artem walk through that door.
She could imagine his dying body, she could imagine the blood and the screams, she could imagine falling to her knees in tears and ¨C
And she could imagine that without a potential king by her side, she would never have to fear being queen.
She would be too famous to kill but too tainted to be a queen, especially since she had been living with Artem outside of the bonds of matrimony.
She would most likely be married to some insignificant nobleman, a pleasant potato of a person, and sent to the countryside to war with ducks, quietly forgotten in favor of new pawns and peons.
It was everything she had ever wanted and it would be so easy to achieve.
All she had to do was let Artem keep walking.
For one second, it felt as if the world itself had frozen around her, as if time itself was not just showing Regina the future but waiting for her to create it.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
In that moment, with a calmness Regina had never previously felt, Regina knew exactly what kind of person she was¡ and who she wanted to be.
In one fluid motion, Regina tore off the hideous but heartfelt feet fish brooch that Artem had created for her¡
¡.and threw it out the door.
The noise as a giant mass of greenery completely crushed the brooch was ear-shattering.
There was shouting and exclamations and someone was trying to hold her and Regina felt nothing but numb.
Regina had no idea what people were saying.
Regina was not sure she knew what words were.
Finally, Regina managed a smile and said, ¡°Lady Paloma Poisson, your lovely premise might need more fish-based products to replace the unreliable plants.¡±
Even as the Poissons surged forward like a school of fish and swarmed the mass that had nearly murdered Artem, Regina calmly took a step forward.
Then another step.
By the time she had taken her tenth step, she realized that Artem was not only attached to her arm but was almost fully wrapped around her body.
That was good.
She did not have to worry about losing him that way.
There was a different set of exclamations in the distance.
Regina looked towards the gate of the estate.
¡°The reporters have arrived,¡± she said blandly, watching them take notes as if their hands were on fire.
Henrietta was saying something, but unless it involved more murder, Regina did not have the ability to care.
So Regina walked past the gate, past the reporters, wondering when someone had pressed the badly dented fish brooch into her hand.
Gracefully, she felt Artem lift her onto the carriage.
Gracefully, she ignored the shouts as she left without saying anything to the reporters.
Tomorrow¡¯s headlines, Regina grimly decided, were going to be future Regina¡¯s problems.
All present Regina wanted to do was to go home.
She had known she was a terrible person since the moment Ava had died in front of her. How was her realization today any different from then?
She would survive. It was the only thing that she was good at.
After all, how much further could the world torment and humiliate her?
~???~
Sometimes, Regina thought that the power of the press would be greatly improved by having it not exist.
PRINCESS TO BE WIELDS POWER OVER MURDEROUS SHRUBBERY AND INSPIRES NEW JEWELRY THROWING CRAZE
¡®It has been one day,¡¯ thought Regina. ¡®One day.¡¯
How in Carcosa could there already be a craze about anything but her slowly dissolving sanity based on what some reporter had seen?
¡®At least,¡¯ Regina thought bitterly, ¡®they must have run out of alliterative options in the thesaurus.¡¯
Regina looked out the window.
The yard was littered with ugly jewelry.
¡°Draw the curtains, please,¡± said Regina flatly. ¡°I would like to spend the rest of the day in the dark learning how to be a mushroom.¡±
~???~
Unfortunately, Regina¡¯s attempts to cultivate in the dark were delayed.
Pretending to be a mushroom reminded her about growing things which reminded her about her hopes and dreams to live on a small farm growing potatoes which reminded her that she knew nothing about actual farming-
All of which resulted in the absolute disaster that was Regina trying to learn more about Carcosan agricultural methods and then¡ what happened next.
The resulting newspaper headline was somehow even worse than its predecessors.
MUSHROOM LIKE PRINCESS EMERGES FROM DARK TO BE VICTORIOUS OVER TERRIFYING TOPIARY ALSO ANGRY DUCK
¡°Why,¡± Regina asked Artem, her eyes almost wild, ¡°did you decide to walk under topiary in a high wind with a duck that did not want to be there?¡±
Artem stared at her in adoration or indigestion.
Regina decided she no longer wanted to interpret the look in his eyes.
¡°Darling,¡± said Artem, ¡°you would not emerge from your room where you were studying to understand the new crops that will benefit Carcosa and I thought that I could at least brave the winds to bring you a helpful companion.¡±
¡°The duck,¡± said Regina, ¡°was trying to murder you when three topiary came loose and also decided to murder you at the same time.¡±
¡°But you saved me,¡± said Artem, his eyes shining. ¡°You found a new way to stake topiary with metal rods that will now be used all over Carcosa! Gardeners are composing odes to your methods for mushrooms and rods!¡±
Regina wondered if it was too late to just let herself be murdered.
Chapter 32: Horses and Hot Pots
Regina seriously started thinking about her self-murder options when she was invited to a tea party with her future mother-in-law, Queen Natasha.
The preparation itself was torture, but that was nothing to the actual tea party itself.
RAVISHING RULER RESCUED BY RECKLESS RESCUER RIDING ROYAL RACEHORSE RILING RACKETEER WITH RADICAL DUCKS
¡°I thought they were finished with alliteration,¡± said Regina numbly as she stared at the latest newspaper headline.
¡°The reporters are never finished with alliteration,¡± said Henrietta, casually twirling a vase on her fingertip. ¡°They might temporarily stop, but that is just to make you let down your guard.¡±
Regina was still pondering the horror of her alliteration filled future, when Henrietta asked the question Regina had been desperately trying to avoid.
¡°Though you know,¡± said Henrietta slowly. ¡°I am a bit confused. You hate riding. So how-¡±
¡°It was not me,¡± said Regina miserably. ¡°I had nothing to do with what happened but-¡±
A sudden vision of both her mother and her future mother-in-law appeared in front of her and she closed her mouth with a snap.
¡°All I was trying to do,¡± she said in exhaustion, ¡°was to save Artem.¡±
¡°That is,¡± said Henrietta dryly, ¡°how your problems normally happen.¡±
¡°I was just having tea,¡± said Regina, feeling even more aggrieved than normal. ¡°It was just supposed to be myself and Artem¡¯s lovely mother Queen Natasha-¡±
¡°But then,¡± said Henrietta softly, ¡°both Artem and your mother arrived.¡±
Regina started, wondering how on earth Henrietta could possibly have known-
¡°The vase?¡± she said.
Henrietta shrugged. ¡°Thankfully, urns are fashionable for gazebos this season.¡±
Regina felt even more annoyed. ¡°Well, why do I need to tell you about it if you already know what happened?¡±
Henrietta raised an eyebrow. ¡°I could see what the vase could see which was-¡±
Regina winced as she remembered the¡ chaos. ¡°No, that would not have been enough to understand.¡±
Regina hesitated for a moment before she reminded herself that Artem was attending to his mother that day as payment for the¡ incident and they were surrounded by vases.
¡°It is safe to speak, if that is what you are asking,¡± said Henrietta. ¡°I have not seen any¡ issues in the near future.¡±
That did not mean the issues did not exist, but Regina was willing to overlook the risk because she was so badly shaken by the events.
¡°Do you,¡± Regina slowly said, ¡°know the history of Artem¡¯s mother?¡±
Henrietta let out a long low whistle. ¡°You really do want to speak of topics better left unsaid.¡±
Regina ignored the warning, despite her keen awareness that people who spoke of Queen Natasha¡¯s past tended to¡ disappear.
¡°Nobody officially knows where Queen Natasha came from,¡± said Regina, because she needed someone else¡¯s thoughts, ¡°but one day she emerged with the King from his bedroom and he said that she would become his new Queen, several years after the death of Prince Aaron¡¯s mother.¡±
¡°The assumption,¡± said Henrietta slowly, ¡°was that he was infatuated but¡¡±
¡°Her name and Artem¡¯s name make it clear she is from one of our Western rivals,¡± said Regina. ¡°No amount of infatuation should have allowed that connection.¡±
¡°She has behaved as someone with training,¡± said Henrietta, ¡°and never promoted her son over the crown prince. But there is something else about her that bothers you, is there not?¡±
¡°Well, Queen Natasha is so polite and kind and-¡±
Henrietta¡¯s eyes narrowed while Regina¡¯s own closed.
¡°Terrifying,¡± Regina admitted. ¡°She is absolutely terrifying. She reminded me of the Sheridan elders in the questions she asked, except more skilled. Then Artem appeared and he-¡±Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
Regina shook her head.
Surely she had imagined the look Artem had given his loving mother.
Surely she had imagined the look his loving mother had given Artem in turn.
-Regina had seen them once, the one time she had tried to flee the estate. The wolves who lived in the forest-
-Artem and Queen Natasha across the table, like two wolves facing one another, a struggle for who was in control, and who would eat the prey between them-
It was then that the assassin, posing as a disgruntled embezzler, had appeared and-
Regina shook her head, trying to force the images away.
-the way the Queen had moved, had spun the assassin as if he were a leaf as if she was as fast as the air itself, the way she had seemed as if she could tear him apart with just her hair pieces-
¡°Regina?¡± said Henrietta, sounding distinctly worried.
¡°Artem dodged the assassin¡¯s first attempt,¡± said Regina flatly. ¡°Then when the assassin tried for a second, my mother ran him over with a race horse.¡±
¡°What?¡± said Henrietta.
¡°My mother ran the assassin over with a race horse,¡± said Regina, in a calm, detached monotone. ¡°Stabbed him with a knife, handed the knife to Queen Natasha, who also stabbed him with a knife, and then threw me on top of the race horse and called out for the reporters to report on my glorious feat.¡±
Henrietta stared at Regina.
¡°What about the ducks?¡± she said finally.
¡°I am not,¡± said Regina, her mind finally giving up in sheer horror and taking a nice, peaceful vacation, ¡°going to tell you anything about the ducks.¡±
~???~
HOT OR POT: ARE UGLY VASES THE TREND OF THE FUTURE?
Regina stared at the latest broadsheet headline.
¡°That,¡± said Artem with a distinct frown, ¡°is not a headline about your brilliance in foiling that robbery with your use of panniers and ducks.¡±
¡°Oh,¡± said Regina with a wave of her hand, ¡°they talked about that too, but this one is much more interesting.¡±
¡°Are you,¡± said Artem hesitantly, as he carefully chopped the cake into small pieces and placed a piece in Regina¡¯s open mouth, ¡°interested in¡ ugly vases?¡±
Regina¡¯s smile broadened even more. ¡°I am very interested in¡ ostentatious pottery.¡±
After all, Regina could count her reliable allies on one hand. In fact, Regina could count her allies on two fingers of one hand, since she could only expect support from Artem and Henrietta.
Artem, for all his¡ whimsy, was as sweet a soul as ever existed and would always give Regina his support. Besides being her spy-glass into the future, Artem was always ready to do whatever she needed him to do, no matter how absurd or difficult her requests were.
¡®Actually¡¯, Regina wryly thought, ¡®it is a lucky thing that Artem¡¯s abilities are far more powerful than anyone expected them to be before I entered his life. Even if he never used them for anything but making jewelry in the past, they have saved my life at least a dozen times by now.¡¯
¡°Toast?¡± said Artem.
¡°Yes, please,¡± said Regina, obediently opening her mouth as he provided her with literal food for thought.
The combination of cake and toast fueled Regina¡¯s mind to realize something she had long ignored. Even though Artem was Regina¡¯s most powerful card and the source of her future foresight, he was not the only card in her hand.
There was also Henrietta¡ and Henrietta¡¯s ability to see the future. If Regina could make her own bizarre future-based power work, should she not attempt to use Henrietta¡¯s ability as well?
¡°Do you want me to order that the manor should be filled with vases?¡± said Artem, looking up at her from under his unfairly long eyelashes.
¡°Oh, a few per room should be sufficient,¡± said Regina absently, thinking about her most recent problem.
The truth was that Henrietta¡¯s powers were more flexible than Regina¡¯s own. Regina could only see the future through Artem¡¯s eyes¡ and she had a feeling her ability was narrowing as time went on and she grew closer to Artem.
Where Regina could once see him go about his daily life without her direct involvement, she now seemed only able to see the future when he was directly with Regina.
In some ways, this strange¡ evolution of her magic was useful because it gave Regina more useful visions of threats on her life. Yet it also meant that she could not see experiences that did not involve her¡ even if they might involve people plotting against her.
Henrietta¡¯s power, however, was a stranger yet potentially more useful one. After all, Henrietta could apparently see the future through the vantage point of vases. The uglier the vase, the more powerful the vision.
So if this newspaper article suggested there was a trend around festooning one¡¯s manor with ugly vases¡ and Regina could get those vases into the royal palace as well as the manors of prominent nobles¡
Well, Regina thought as a wicked smile spread across her face. One does not look a gift horse in the mouth¡ or an ugly vase in the lip.
She rose from her chair and gave Artem a very thorough investigation of whether he had any leftover crumbs on his lips with her own mouth.
Then, flushed and feeling more optimistic than she had in a while, Regina went off to find her cousin instructing some of the orphans living with them on the fine art of smashing vases across a skull.
After politely waiting for Henrietta to finish and hoping that her future husband would not be foolish enough to displease her, Regina asked her most beloved cousin a question.
¡°Henrietta,¡± Regina said sweetly. ¡°How open are you to commissioning a few new vases for yourself and others?¡±
Chapter 33: Less Than a Week
A few days after Regina realized the potential to weaponize Henrietta¡¯s vase-based foresign, she arranged meetings with several famous artisans who she had previously saved from assassins and duck-based incidents.
Thankfully, those artisans were all clamoring to meet her. After all, even if they were not awash in gratitude for her previous rescue, Regina knew they would want to ingratiate themselves with a potential queen. Meanwhile, Regina was happy to take advantage of their gratitude and/or greed and commission them all to create what she needed to use Henrietta¡¯s powers.
That is ¨C the ugliest vases that Carcosa had ever seen.
Of course, all of these details had been relayed to said artisans through letters. Since Regina was afraid that their talent might lead to vases too aesthetically pleasing for Henrietta to use, she had secured a meeting with them to make sure their vases would be hideous.
Strangely enough, Henrietta had chosen not to accompany Regina to this meeting. When Regina had asked, Henrietta had just waved her away and said, ¡°I am meeting with Paloma instead. She and I have been bonding over the fish-based vases her family makes. She needs me to go over to the Poisson estate once again and give her my¡ opinion.¡±
Regina could only blink before asking, ¡°Did you not already see how the Poissons created hideous vases the last time we were at their estate? Do you really need to tell Lady Paloma how hideous they are once again?¡±
¡°Oh yes,¡± Henrietta had said with a rather odd smile on her face. ¡°Of course I need to see Lady Paloma as often as possible. What use is a vase if it does not fill itself with a pretty flower?¡±
With that cryptic remark, Henrietta left the townhouse with a flourish, leaving a befuddled Regina in her wake.
Fortunately, Artem was less willing to abandon Regina with a cryptic remark. Thus, he ended up accompanying Regina to the artisan workshop that the meeting would take place in.
Unfortunately, all of Regina¡¯s hopes of having a quick meeting that would end before a duck was lobbed at her head were dashed when Artem interrupted Regina.
¡°My fierce falcon,¡± Artem warmly said, even as he took Regina¡¯s hand in her own. ¡°I know that you need to be at this meeting soon ¨C but before you do, will you let me share a surprise with you?¡±
Regina haplessly turned to him and wondered what to do.
On the one hand, she wanted badly just to get this meeting finished. After all, the faster she commissioned an army of artisans to create a legion of ugly vases, the faster she could disseminate those vases across Carcosa and take advantage of Henrietta¡¯s magic to stay safe.
After all, Regina grimly acknowledged, I may be spending far more time in the Capital than I ever hoped for.
Yet on the other hand¡
On the other hand, when she looked at Artem¡¯s pleading eyes, Regina could feel her resolve to spy on nobles through the ugliest vases that Carcosa had ever seen waver.
¡®I doubt,¡¯ Regina quietly admitted to herself, ¡®that Artem would like to spend the rest of his life in the Capital any more than I would. Yet, because of my acts and assassination attempts, he might have to. I owe him whatever happiness I can afford in turn, even if it costs me some time in this meeting.¡¯
Therefore, with a resigned smile, Regina took Artem¡¯s hand and allowed him to lead her wherever he wished.
¡°Lead on, my sweet dove,¡± she wryly said. ¡°I cannot wait to see what you have prepared.¡±
¡°It will be,¡± Artem promised in turn as he took her far from her destination, ¡°a performance like none other.¡±
Unfortunately, Artem had been correct when he had promised that.
~???~
Lady Regina Sheridan stared blankly at the very pretty and very shiny blond man frolicking in front of her.
He was wearing seven brooches today. She knew that he was wearing seven brooches because she had counted them, even as she wondered how he managed to keep the one attached to his belt from falling off.
"My dearest heart," he cried, bouncing in excitement. "Are you not excited to see the surprise that I prepared?"
With a movement born of long practice, Regina stepped forward and casually pulled him out of the way of the large falling rock, noting the shadowy figure disappearing on the roof line above them, as the blond man continued to gaze tenderly at her.
It would have been too much, she realized grimly, for her prince to realize that a large rock had landed behind him when he was more interested in her answer to his question.
"Yes, my sweet dove," she finally replied with infinite weariness. "I am... excited to see your performance."
In truth, Regina was not excited to see his performance.
Regina was also not excited to foil the next three murder attempts that would inevitably happen when her sweet dove sang three folk songs while doing a strange dance from his mother''s homeland.
Regina''s only excitement in life came from trying to keep this goldfish of a fianc¨¦, and thus herself, alive.
Yet as Regina watched her prince dance his self-described ¡°mating ritual" in front of her, Regina wondered if maybe she would have been better off being executed as a villainess.
However, she had responsibilities now to both Artem and Henrietta and death needed to wait until she could ensure they were safe as well. With the hope of a woman who knew her future was rapidly spiraling out of control, Regina mentally went through her plans once again. She needed to find a way to embed ugly vases everywhere she could and hope that she and Artem could exit as rapidly as possible.
It was only one more week.
¡®I can do this,¡¯ Regina grimly thought, ¡®because if I do not, I am dead.¡¯
Chilled by that reminder, Regina turned her brightest smile on Artem.
¡°Dearest,¡± she sweetly said, ¡°I absolutely loved your, er, dance. But perhaps ¨C¡±
Before she could gently nudge Artem along, he interrupted with a brighter and more sincere smile of his own.
¡°Perhaps you want to see the rest of it?¡± he happily cried. ¡°After all, that is just the first part of a mating dance from my mother¡¯s land! This first part simply shows my joy in your company. In the next part, I will save you ¨C¡±
Unfortunately, Artem¡¯s ability to save her was undercut by the fact that Regina had to interrupt his words by shoving herself at him and out of the way of yet another stray boulder ¨C this one topped by a very annoyed duck.
¡°Perhaps,¡± Regina wearily said as she stared at Artem¡¯s sweet, silly face, ¡°you could save me after we meet the artisans? After all¡¡±
Smiling in a way she actually meant, Regina pressed Artem against the recesses of the wall conveniently next to them and out of the range of boulder-crushing distance.
¡°I could reward you,¡± Regina huskily suggested, ¡°after every performance you give. So if we attend to the artisans now, you will get two rewards for two different dances. What do you think of this proposal, my prince?¡± Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.
It turned out Artem thought very highly of this. When they finally arrived at the artisans fashionably late, Artem was a delightful shade of pink and Regina was firmly convinced that she was a genius.
~???~
Regina¡¯s belief in her own brilliance persisted throughout the meeting with the artisans, which went very well indeed. She simply had to issue a command and no matter how nonsensical it was ¨C and ¡®create a small army of the ugliest, fish-stamped vases your mind can conceive of¡¯ was nonsensical indeed ¨C the artisans hurried to obey.
¡®I could almost get used to this treatment,¡¯ she wryly thought to herself as the artisans scurried about like mice to do her bidding. ¡®Pity it is only happening because everyone believes I will be the next queen. Of course it is not all positive. That belief is also leading some to try to murder me.¡¯
Even so, after a lifetime of staying quiet and humble on the edges of her own family, there was something almost¡ exhilarating about knowing that her every word was meaningful and important and would be obeyed instantly.
For once, Regina could understand why people would fight and kill and even court death for the chance to wield this power¡ however treacherous it might be.
¡®Even so,¡¯ she reminded herself as the artisans all but genuflected in front of her, ¡®I would still rather live a quiet life in the country with nothing but ducks attempting to destroy me. If I need to fear the dagger in my back all my life, it will be a short one. No amount of power can compensate me if I am dead.¡¯
Only years of practice kept Regina from remembering her sis¨C her reason for wanting a quiet and peaceful life.
She did not need to revisit further memories.
¡®Besides,¡¯ she forcefully told herself, ¡®absolute power corrupts absolutely. Who would I become if I even became the Queen? Would I become like the Sheridan elders? Would I harm others for my benefit? Would I become like the Alpin rulers? Would I pit my children against one another for the sake of power? Or would I become like the other nobles in this country? Would I all-but-enslave commoners because commoners do not have magic to protect themselves?¡¯
¡®Everyone who wields great power in Carcosa,¡¯ Regina grimly realized, ¡®is a monster. If I become queen, will I not become one as well?¡¯
Regina had always thought she would do whatever was necessary to survive.
Yet there were some depths she was not sure she could descend to, even to save herself.
¡®Maybe,¡¯ she wryly thought, ¡®my first vision of being branded a villainess was incorrect. I may prove too soft-hearted and incompetent yet.¡¯
She could only hope that those newfound weaknesses would not destroy her in the end.
~???~
The visit to the artisans was emotionally if not logistically taxing. Regina realized she was not quite as clever as she had thought herself when she realized all she had done was force herself to endure another round of Artem¡¯s dancing after exhausting herself. Still, she allowed Artem to lead her to the town square to show her the next part of his gift from his mother¡¯s homeland.
As Artem took her hand, almost pulling her in his eagerness, Regina felt something entirely unfamiliar building inside her.
While she knew she should be watching for further visions of assassins or just murder attempts in general, Regina found herself glancing at the people around them as she and Artem wove through the crowd on the street.
There was something strange about the commoners who surrounded them, selling their wares, going about their lives, glancing over at Artem and Regina with smiles on their faces ¨C
Oh.
None of them knew who Regina or Artem were.
As Artem looked back towards her and drew her hand towards his lips, his face glowing in the light, Regina realized something.
All the people looking towards her and Artem, smiling knowingly, just saw them as a¡ young pair.
They had no guards, their clothes were as modest as Regina had been able to manage to try to keep from drawing attention and they just looked like-
¡°You are so utterly perfect,¡± said Artem softly, as he pressed his cheek against her hand.
-like a normal young couple in love.
Regina felt as if she had been stabbed.
¡°Darling?¡± said Artem, drawing closer and reaching his hand towards her.
For once, Regina closed her eyes, leaned into the comfort being offered, as she realized the truth she had been denying.
It was not that she had not known that she¡ cared for Artem but-
¡°It would not have mattered if you were not a prince, you know?¡± she said, trying to fight against the sudden pricking of her eyes that she wanted to hide. ¡°I¡ I would have wanted to be with you no matter what your status was.¡±
¡°I know,¡± said Artem softly. ¡°Oh, my dear heart, I know.¡±
She felt his finger, as gentle as a butterfly against her skin, as he softly wiped the inconvenient tears from beneath her eyes.
¡°Look,¡± he said, equally softly, and Regina felt her eyes open almost against her will.
¡°Let me show you what I know,¡± said Artem and he released her, leaving Regina feeling strangely bereft.
They were, she realized, in a far corner of the town square that was strangely empty for as bustling as the merchant street had been. Regina uneasily wondered if this would make it even more likely that an assassin would take advantage of the situation.
Her brow furrowed as she tried to remember if any of the morning¡¯s visions had included this scene.
It seemed far more likely to be the site of an assassination than the previous attempts, yet Regina could not recall a single vision in this location.
Rather than feeling safer, Regina felt even more uneasy, and resolved to pay even more attention than normal if for some reason her foresight had a limit of how many murders a day it could predict.
¡°My precious sea urchin,¡± said Artem in his most musical, charming tone of voice. ¡°Eyes on me.¡±
Regina¡¯s gaze snapped towards Artem¡
¡and never left.
At first, Regina expected an even more ridiculous version of the prancing dances she had seen earlier in the day.
She expected that she would brave the frolicking of her beloved with a smile, smother him with kisses, and thwart whatever assassins came their way.
Then Artem actually began to dance.
He stood still, his eyes closed, hands stretched to the skies and when he opened them-
It took every piece of strength Regina had ever possessed not to take a step backwards.
Then Artem moved.
He started with some extraordinarily graceful kicks his upper body as still as if he was not moving at all, every movement precise, clean almost-
¡®-militaristic¡¯, thought Regina, her mind churning. ¡®He feels like a¡ soldier.¡¯
Then he left the ground.
With the same easy grace as the kicks, as if the sky itself was as stable as the ground, Artem leapt into the air, his kicks as precise and clean as if they were timed to the beating of Regina¡¯s heart. Even as he spread his legs, caught his feet with his hands, landed back to ground with that same easy grace-
¡®Who are you?¡¯ thought Regina, her heart beating as fast as the speed of Artem¡¯s feet, of his hands, of the cold sharp grace that froze the air around him.
He was coming towards her, that sharp smile, that grace and Regina did not know whether to run, whether to stay-
-and then the assassins landed behind him.
It had never been a decision.
Regina was moving, opening her mouth, going to pull her goldfish, no matter how strange he might seem, out of the way ¨C
They were dead.
They were on the ground, dead.
Artem had moved.
He had moved so fast Regina had not seen what he had done.
The three assassins were lying in pools of blood unmoving and she had not even seen what had happened.
¡®Metal,¡¯ Regina realized numbly. ¡®It would not take a large piece of metal to kill someone¡ if you shoved it directly into the heart.¡¯
Artem looked down at the three bodies and he smiled.
¡®Why,¡¯ Regina thought, as so many things in her mind came together, ¡®did I not realize that the one thing present at all my murders¡ was Artem?¡±
¡°Darling,¡± said Artem, turning towards her with a joyous smile as sharp as a jagged piece of metal.
They were getting married in less than a week.
Chapter 34: Conference between the Crossroads
There were, Regina swiftly realized, several problems with realizing your supposedly-loving fiance was your potential murderer while you were living with him before your wedding.
For one, there was the problem of avoiding said fiance when she had been spending the last few months with him all but crawling under her skin. Previously, Regina had actually been reassured by Artem¡¯s intense desire to hover around her for nearly every hour they could spend together. After all, it was hard for her to miss a vision of her death when Artem, the lens to her future, was always around her.
However, now that Regina had glimpsed the seething mass of darkness that lay under Artem¡¯s smiles and realized he might be the cause of her death threats, she felt differently.
Unfortunately, Regina found it hard to avoid a man who literally showed up at her door every hour, on the hour, to take her to tea or to a social gathering or even to see the latest duck he had procured for her.
(Currently, he was up to duck #43, who he had named Reginata and who had a habit of flying at Regina¡¯s head in a way that suggested an assassination attempt in the making).
Thus, Regina ended up seeking support from the one person she knew she could rely on and who had no reason to murder her.
The only problem was that seeking that support meant eating heaping helpings of humble pie.
¡°I told you so,¡± was Henrietta¡¯s less-than-helpful reply when Regina had raced from that horrifying moment with Artem into Henrietta¡¯s protective embrace. ¡°I knew that little whey-faced princeling was too good to be true. By the blood, he looked a little too much like something that crawled out of a bad romance novel.¡±
¡°I thought,¡± Regina said, stung despite her own fear, ¡°that you liked those bad romance novels!¡±
¡°I only read them,¡± Henrietta murmured, ¡°to confirm the horrors of men and the superiority of my preferences.¡±
At Regina¡¯s baffled look, Henrietta just shrugged and said, ¡°Should we not get back to the topic at hand? Frankly, I still want to know more about why you think your prince, who has spent the last few months waiting on you hand and foot, wants to murder you.¡±
Since that was the one topic that was guaranteed to sway Regina¡¯s attention away from Henrietta¡¯s cryptic words, Regina began to lay out her case.
¡°I should have known,¡± Regina said, ¡°something was wrong with Artem from our very first meeting.¡±
¡°Obviously,¡± Henrietta replied. ¡°Any man who pretends to fall in love with you after one meeting is either the greatest idiot in Carcosa, which admittedly fits Prince Artem, or a conniving twit trying to bamboozle you with flattery.¡±
¡°That is true,¡± Regina said, trying not to feel deflated. ¡°It was absurd to believe Artem thought I was lovely from the moment we met. That could only happen if he wanted something from me.¡±
Then Regina cleared her throat, pretended her eyes were not stinging, and said, ¡°Anyway, he did more than flatter me at our first meeting. Artem is far more dangerous than I thought he was. When we first met, I thought I was rescuing him from other Alpins attempting to harass him. Yet there was a moment ¨C a very strange moment ¨C when¡¡±
Regina closed her eyes, summoning her memory of that first night spent hiding in the bushes with her once-beloved.
¡°I will not be held back by you fools,¡± said the wild-eyed face above her, so close that Regina knew he would notice her within seconds. ¡°We have spent months looking for an opportunity and I will not let you destroy it.¡±
As he started to reach into the bush, Regina braced herself ¨C
Only to be shocked when there was a brief flash of light and the man above her stiffened and fell backwards.
¡°Another brooch,¡± said the sneering watery-eyed blond. ¡°You cannot even make your own, so your greed meant that you could not hide your treachery. Now, you even pretend to have fainted, you traitor. You just spared us the effort of trying to determine how to sneak you out of the party. We will just tell them that you were in your cups¡ Let us see if you ever get out of them again!¡±
¡°When,¡± Regina quietly finished, ¡°one of Artem¡¯s harassers suddenly ¡°fainted¡± out of nowhere¡ after a metal brooch that Artem made appeared on his person.¡±
Henrietta paused before slowly saying, ¡°That is quite the coincidence, is it not? I had no idea Alpins were fragile enough to faint when a bit of metal landed on them¡ unless that metal was tainted already.¡±
¡°It certainly is a damning coincidence,¡± Regina glumly agreed.
¡°Prince Artem,¡± Henrietta quietly pointed out, ¡°is also startlingly good at getting ahold of anti-toxin that you somehow only need to use on him. Is he procuring that anti-toxin from others¡ or manufacturing it based on his own knowledge of poison?¡±
Regina quietly reflected on how many times she had died through poisons in her visions and said nothing.
¡°I also thought,¡± Henrietta murmured after a while, ¡°that Prince Artem is a little too powerful for his position. He is not only able to whip out metal artifacts out of thin air - he is also able to break into our heavily guarded townhouse as though it were a commoner¡¯s shack in the middle of the woods. His skills certainly do not seem to belong to a prince best known for prancing about making jewelry.¡±
¡°No,¡± Regina quietly agreed. ¡°No, they certainly seem quite incongruous ¨C until you remember that his mother is a foreign noble whose own skill set seems¡¡±
-the way the Queen had moved, had spun the assassin as if he were a leaf as if she was as fast as the air itself, the way she had seemed as if she could tear him apart with just her hair pieces-Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
¡°Uncanny,¡± Regina finally concluded, though she knew the word was inadequate to describe the eerie ease with which the Queen had dispatched the assassin who had the nerve to interrupt her tea party.
¡°So Prince Artem obviously has the skills to murder you,¡± Henrietta concluded, ¡°as well as the ability to access you at all hours. Do you think he might have been behind the past murder attempts that you dodged?¡±
Regina wavered for a long time before she said, ¡°I¡ I do not know. Yet out of everyone around me, he would be the person best positioned to murder me.¡±
It was, horrifyingly enough, true. After all, when Regina recalled so many of the assasination attempts against her, Artem was always there¡ and always so close to her.
In the scene where Artem had serenaded her dead body, he could have worked with an accomplice to set up the scene. Perhaps he could have even used his serenade to provide himself some sort of alibi after double-crossing that hapless accomplice.
In the scene where Artem had discovered her dead body in his family¡¯s vaults¡ Who would be better placed to put her there than Artem himself?
In the scene where Artem had led all the important Carcosan nobles to her room while she had thrown out the engagement gifts¡ again, how had he known to bring all those nobles to a place where she would either be poisoned or potentially disgraced for disposing of the gifts given to her?
Indeed, every time Regina thought of a moment of her impending death, Artem had always been there. In every one of those scenes, he could have used his knowledge of metallurgic magic and poisons to murder her.
From the frown on Henrietta¡¯s face, she had clearly come to the same realization.
¡°Still,¡± Henrietta muttered, ¡°you have seen visions of futures where Prince Artem was slain by assassins himself. Surely he did not participate in those attempts.¡±
¡°No,¡± Regina quietly said. ¡°Yet I do not doubt that Artem¡¯s knowledge that my growing popularity imperiled his life through other assassins gives him even more reason to destroy me.¡±
For a moment, it felt as though Regina¡¯s heart was gripped by a vise, one that left it barely able to beat.
¡°So all of Artem¡¯s sweet words about loving me,¡± Regina cried, ¡°could just have been his attempt to create an alibi to explain why he did not murder me even though he was the one closest to me. His affection seems so all-encompassing that even I did not question it! Yet all this time, he could have been trying to destroy me!¡±
From the look on Henrietta¡¯s face, Regina realized that she could very well be right. If so, Artem was indeed the canniest and cruelest opponent that Regina could imagine.
¡°Even so,¡± Henrietta quietly said after putting her hand on Regina¡¯s shoulder, ¡°Prince Artem would have to be a true fool to want to destroy you. You have been the greatest boon that insipid prancing prince could ever receive. You tolerate his stupid face and ridiculous personality with far more kindness than he deserves and are elevating him from clown to king. Why would he not want the life that you are offering?¡±
At that, Regina laughed, the sound so shocking and sharp that Henrietta flinched.
¡°Perhaps he is too much like me,¡± Regina finally said, her voice sounding bitter even to herself. ¡°Perhaps, like me, he wishes for my death because he knows he cannot be king without a queen.¡±
At Henrietta¡¯s puzzled look, Regina continued, pushing back the misery beneath her words.
¡°When Artem was born,¡± Regina quietly said, ¡°his name declared that his parents were willing to let him be king. By Alpin tradition, a boy¡¯s name that begins with A shows that he is seen as a possible contender to the throne¡ and a challenger for any of his other relatives.¡±
¡°Yet no one took Prince Artem seriously for many years,¡± Henrietta said, clearly realizing what Regina had already recognized, ¡°even though he has more than enough magical power to contend for the throne. Even if we discount his knowledge of poisons, he is powerful enough to decimate a foreign legion. Thus, if he was seen as a clown rather than future king by others¡¡±
¡°It is because Artem willed it to be so,¡± Regina finished, feeling defeated. ¡°He obviously hid his abilities for many years, acting more foolish than he was so no one besides his ridiculous cousins would drag him into battles over succession. Only then, I came long. I would have seemed like an insipid daughter of a nouveau riche marquess family, so easy to flatter and fool. He must have thought that I would be a safe bet to secure a life of obscurity, as compared to an ambitious Duke¡¯s daughter. Unfortunately¡¡±
¡°Unfortunately, you became so popular that if you two marry in the end, he will have to be king despite despising the role,¡± Henrietta concluded. ¡°By the blood, if I were him, I would kill you as well. You really are too much for a weak man to handle.¡±
Regina immediately burst into tears.
Their conversation then concluded with Henrietta promising to avenge Regina¡¯s broken heart by murdering Artem with a vase during their next encounter.
Though tempted by that offer, Regina asked Henrietta to leave Artem intact. After all, no one as subtle as Henrietta could hide the body well enough to avoid being caught. Then, after Henrietta begrudgingly agreed not to show Artem the full power of her vases, Regina spent the week before her wedding refusing to leave her rooms. To try to prevent murder of either Regina¡¯s body or her heart, Henrietta kept Artem away with a variety of increasingly outlandish excuses.
(Henrietta¡¯s favorite seemed to be where she told Artem that Regina was currently suffering from a metaphysical crisis over how ducks could possibly exist.)
(It was also the excuse that was the most effective.)
Thus, Regina spent the week before her wedding confined to her rooms, seeing no one but Henrietta and her oddly worried parents while eating nothing but tasteless food that Henrietta made herself. In lieu of seeing the future through Artem, who no longer even granted her visions unless they included her, Regina surrounded herself with vases and watched the future through Henrietta¡¯s visions.
¡°You shall survive this week,¡± Henrietta reassured her wryly, ¡°though I unfortunately do know know what happens after you leave to perform the Alpin¡¯s horrid wedding ritual. There are very few vases around the dead.¡±
¡°I feel more reassured already,¡± Regina returned.
So the week stretched on, the days feeling unending. With Henrietta¡¯s invaluable help, Regina made all the preparations for the wedding ritual to come in case all her attempts to sabotage the ceremony did not work. Yet after all she could do was done, Regina had no energy for anything further.
All she felt capable of doing was lying in her bed and sleeping.
Unfortunately, no matter how much she slept, she never felt capable of outrunning her waking dreams.
For when she was not in the midst of dreamless sleep, all she could think of was Artem¡¯s eyes and Artem¡¯s smile and the warmth of Artem¡¯s body.
All she could think of was the promises they had made to one another, and the ducks he had given her, and the gentle feel of his lips as he moved them against hers.
¡®Was he lying to me all this time?¡¯ she asked herself time and again, combing through her memories. ¡®Is he the gentle man I wanted to spend my life with ¨C or yet another assassin out for my blood?¡¯
Yet no matter how much she revisited her memories, she had no idea which Artem was real and which was fantasy.
If he lied to her about his abilities, what else could he lie to her about?
What else might he do if he realized his own dream of living a quiet and peaceful life would be shattered by their wedding?
Regina felt as if misunderstanding Artem was just another piece in the horror that was her life, even as she tried to find hope for her future.
Then, the night before the wedding, Regina discovered that as bad as her life currently was, things could, in fact, get so much worse.
Interlude: Happy Harvest Festival from the Duke of the North!
Hello. You want to know how we celebrate harvests?
We harvest snow in the North. It is very cold. Our celebration is going inside and trying to not be cold. We are thankful that we are not cold.This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
I hope that you also are not cold and thankful.
As we say when we celebrate our snow harvest, when joyously celebrating, make sure not to wake up the feet fish!
...Rest in peace, great-uncle Olmus. Both you and your hat will be missed.
Chapter 35: Reality and Realizations
Whenever her family bothered to pay attention to Regina before she came to the Capital, they had thought of her as a nervy, delicate girl.
Indeed, it was a miracle that Regina had lived to be one-and-twenty. Even as a child, she had been sickly and fussy. She had been a weakling who would surely have died from illness if she was not born into a noble family with the resources to keep her alive.
Though she had grown healthier as time went on, enough to live a mostly normal life, Regina sometimes felt her childhood weaknesses press upon her¡ especially when faced with the unexpected.
It said something about Regina¡¯s life that ¡®unexpected¡¯ did not mean assassination attempts, which had become strangely mundane as of late.
Instead, her definition of unexpected had become much, much stranger over the past six months¡
Which was why, when she woke up in the middle of the night before her wedding, Regina realized her body still had a reaction to the ¡®unexpected¡¯...
¡because her body had no ability to prepare for Artem hanging upside down on her bedroom canopy like the world¡¯s shiniest spider.
The shriek that came out of Regina¡¯s mouth actually caused Artem to startle and fall on top of her, leading to a compromising position that would have forced them to wed if they were not due to be wed the next day.
¡°Why,¡± said Regina, her brain blissfully disappearing into a lovely land where things made sense, ¡°are you clinging to my canopy above my bed?¡±
¡°I am not clinging to the canopy above your bed, darling,¡± said Artem helpfully. ¡°I am currently lying on top of you.¡±
¡°Yes,¡± Regina said through gritted teeth, trying to ignore how warm and pleasant Artem¡¯s body felt as it enveloped her own. ¡°However, you were doing that ¨C and I would like to know why you came into my room without my invitation!¡±
Perhaps ¡°anger¡± was not the best way to greet the man who potentially had inspired most of her murders, but Regina had long since passed the fear of death. Regina, in fact, was now firmly in the ¡°complain to the management of death about their shoddy shop service¡± stage of her life.
So without further ado, Regina stared at Artem with a look in her eyes that suggested that if he did not give her a satisfying answer in the next ten seconds, she would pluck the shiny brooches from his chest and use them to disembowel him.
Regina was not sure whether to be even more angry or impressed that Artem¡¯s reaction to her fury was to swallow abruptly, as the color of his eyes completely vanished into black.
¡°My fierce falcon,¡± said Artem, pausing for a moment, looking slightly dazed, and then smiling sweetly. ¡°I was clinging to your canopy because there were too many vases for me to cling to the floor.¡±
Regina had to admit he had a point there.
¡°I,¡± he said softly, ¡°know how much you value your vases.¡±
Regina hated to admit that his number of points continued to grow.
Sighing, she pushed Artem away until he slid off of her, even as she moved until her back was against the sturdy wooden bed rest.
¡°Fair enough,¡± she said. ¡°Even so, you still have not explained why you are in my room in the first place¡ unless you make a habit of visiting women in their rooms in the middle of the night.¡±
Regina¡¯s gaze sharpened at that.
The thought of disemboweling Artem with his own brooch had somehow become even more attractive.
¡°Women?¡± said Artem, looking genuinely confused. ¡°You mean Mother or you? Mother would lovingly show me how to carve my heart out with a knife if I arrived in the middle of the night.¡±
¡°And I would not?¡± cried Regina, somehow both insulted and flattered.
¡°You already have my heart,¡± said Artem softly. ¡°You have no need to carve it out.¡±
Genuinely unsure whether this statement was more heart-warming or horrific, Regina just stared at Artem.
¡®By the blood,¡¯ Regina realized, ¡®Artem has a tongue that could flatter the most practiced of harlots. He either does not care about the trouble he would receive by visiting me, which is fair considering tomorrow¡¯s wedding, or he is covering up some sinister objective with a tongue of honey. After all, he seems aware that arriving in a woman¡¯s bedroom means trouble based on his mother¡¯s reaction. Does that mean he is here for trouble? If so¡¡¯
Regina calculated the distance between herself and the nearest ceramic vase before realizing she would never make it before it was too late.
¡®If so, I need to stall long enough for Henrietta to find me, as she will foresee Artem¡¯s visit with this many vases near me.¡¯
Regina smiled and hoped it was convincing.
¡°If I own your heart,¡± she said, as playfully as she could, ¡°then what has happened to the remaining parts of your body?¡±Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
¡°They are quite sore,¡± said Artem plaintively, somehow getting even closer to her, which was quite a feat since he had been right on top of her. ¡°They ache from not having been able to feed you toast for nearly a week.¡±
It was a splash of cold water as Regina realized a few very important things all at once.
First, she realized that if Artem was indeed determined to murder her at this very moment, there was very little she could do about it. Short of Henrietta immediately bursting through the doors after receiving a well-timed vase-based vision, Regina had no way to protect herself.
She could try diving for a ceramic vase and lobbing it at Artem¡¯s head¡ but she had already seen him deflect vases before with his brooch, as well as kill people by stabbing them through the heart with small metal objects.
All she could do was stall and hope for the best.
Second, she realized that if Artem was in fact innocent of all her dark suspicions, he must have visited her because he was actually concerned for her. After all, since they had become engaged and Artem had moved to her family¡¯s townhouse, they had never gone more than a few hours without being in each other¡¯s company.
If he was a kind, gentle person with unexpectedly lethal abilities picked up from a lifetime of fending off his own family, she could hardly blame him for wanting to make sure she was doing well before they wed.
Finally, she realized that she had missed him and that being this close to him made her heart race so hard in her chest, it was a wonder it had not already exploded.
¡°It is hard,¡± said Regina finally, ¡°to eat toast without you to prevent me from taking bites too large to digest.¡±
It was. That was the worst of it.
This was why Regina had spent a lifetime of not expecting things from people¡ so that she would not start tearing up over the thought of having to eat toast on her own.
¡°Then¡¡± said Artem, his hand reaching out to her face before pulling it back as his voice trailed into nothing.
It occurred to Regina, quite suddenly, that Artem might have as many questions as she had.
Whether or not he was trying to murder her, he probably had not expected her to flee after his very personal demonstration and then spend a week barricaded in her room.
She wondered why he could find it so easy to stab someone in the heart but so hard to ask her why she was hiding from him.
It also occurred to Regina that her behavior made her an even larger threat to Artem, if he did want to murder her, because she had practically guaranteed that the wedding would proceed as planned.
At least from his perspective, she must have made it seem as if she was allowing no opportunities for anything to disrupt the wedding that would bring him one step closer to a very unwanted kingship. Perhaps even now he was trying to determine if he could kill her and make it look like an accid-
¡°Darling,¡± Artem suddenly said. ¡°Are you¡. angry with me?¡±
¡°Yes,¡± Regina admitted, still in the middle of mulling over all the possibilities of Artem¡¯s motives and actions, and immediately went still as she realized what she had done.
Artem stilled utterly above her and Regina wondered if this was the end, if this was the way she finally-
¡°I,¡± said Artem, his voice strange, unfamiliar, ¡°would never force you to live a life you did not want.¡±
Did that mean, Regina thought in dawning horror, that he would rather kill her than live with her in a life that he thought she did not want to live?
If he planned to live a more unobtrusive life, and he thought Regina wanted to be queen, did that mean-
¡°I have not,¡± said Artem, still continuing in that strange, almost rough voice, ¡°shown you well enough what I can do for you. I misunderstood and I have, da, not been as I should be.¡±
Regina stared up at him, at the tortured look on his face as he haltingly tried to explain¡ something.
She did not think he wanted to kill her.
It did not, in fact, make her feel better.
After all, a man could make himself do what he did not want to if he felt a pressing enough need.
¡°Mother said that I should show you as she showed Father,¡± said Artem, his voice full of a frustration that she had never previously heard in his joyful frolicking tones.
He ran a rough hand through his hair. ¡°§±§Ú§Ù§Õ§Ö§è! I do not think that stabbing you with a knife and then kissing you will solve this problem! Father is strange!¡±
Regina felt the world narrow down to a dull tunnel of fog.
So the King and Queen wanted Regina dead too.
In fact, the entire royal Alpin family must have wanted her dead all along for pushing their second prince to be king above their first one and their loathing of her had been obvious since her very first vision and why had she not realized it?!
Artem was saying things and Regina knew he was saying things and some wounded part of her soul realized that killing her would be hard for him¡
¡but the other part of Regina did not care.
Artem had come the night before her wedding to tell her she would never be safe with him.
He might not hurt her tonight, but if anyone knew how people could learn to justify horrible things, it was a daughter of the Sheridan family.
If Regina had any doubts about her plans for her wedding, they had all been burnt to ashes.
She knew that she would have to use this night to say her final goodbye to Artem, but it hurt.
It hurt even to raise her face to him, to look one more time at the man she had thought she could trust.
However, when she finally got the nerve to bring her eyes up from behind her tense hands gripping her coverlet to Artem¡¯s face¡
She saw what she had never expected to see in any Artem, no matter how harmless or murderous he might be.
Almost against her will, as if she could no more stop her hand from moving than she could stop breathing, Regina gently traced a finger under Artem¡¯s eye.
¡°Are you,¡± she said in complete bafflement, ¡°crying?¡±
He was, she realized, as the pale light from the moon filtered over his face.
¡°I,¡± said Artem, his voice so rough that she barely recognized it, ¡°do not want to lose you.¡±
¡°I do not want to lose you either,¡± said Regina, and the blood-cursed truth of it was that she meant it ¨C no matter which Artem was real.
As she embraced him, as she hid her face in his shoulder, Regina wondered what face Artem was making.
After all, she would never see him again.
Chapter 36: Plots and Plans
When Regina woke, there was a heavy arm around her and a soft breath against her neck.
¡®So this,¡¯ thought Regina, ¡®is what it would have been like to be married.¡¯
She would have liked being married.
Clumsy and gentle and then not clumsy and then less gentle¡
Regina closed her eyes against the memory of pleasure and the pain of what was to come.
¡°I love you,¡± she said softly, to the dark, to the future that would never be hers.
Then, with all the skill of a woman who had spent years fading from others¡¯ grasps, she removed Artem¡¯s arm and rose from the bed in the dark of the not-yet morning.
She did not look back.
~???~
¡°Why in the name of the blood are you waking me before dawn?¡± snarled Henrietta, as Regina finished roughly shaking her shoulder to rouse her from her sleep.
Henrietta obviously did not enjoy having her sleep interrupted.
Well, Regina did not enjoy the cruel joke her life had become, so Henrietta could learn to share in the misery.
¡°I will do it,¡± said Regina flatly.
¡°What?¡± said Henrietta, suddenly bolting upright in her bed, and far more alert than she had been mere seconds previously.
¡°I will do it,¡± said Regina. ¡°We can forget the other plans. I will do it.¡±
Henrietta stared at her, the light from the moon making her seem almost like a corpse, so still she sat.
¡°I will let her know,¡± said Henrietta finally, a tone in her voice that Regina refused to understand.
¡°You will have to make sure no one else comes near,¡± said Regina, and her voice was not trembling, it was not.
¡°Oh Gina,¡± said Henrietta and Regina fled somewhere that was near no one at all, because she did not want to hear the pity or the sorrow.
Regina deserved neither.
In the end, Regina was as she always had been. She was a villainess who would perform the best magic trick anyone in Carcosa had ever seen.
Regina forced a smile as she curled up in the window of the dressing room, waiting for the sun.
¡°Ava,¡± Regina said softly, her sister¡¯s face so clear against the moon that Regina wondered if she had willed her into being. ¡°Was there ever any way for either of us to win?¡±
The moon had no reply.
~???~
By the time Regina arrived in the bridal suite, wearing a skirt that made every other skirt she had ever seen embarrassed by their lack of ambition, she was not sure whether she yearned for or dreaded the future she was courting.
¡°You look,¡± said Henrietta, ¡°as though you are about to peel your own skin off it that ridiculous prince does not get to it first.¡±
¡°Thank you,¡± Regina dryly said. ¡°I am glad I have you to nurse my fragile emotions through the most trying time of my life.¡±
¡°You are welcome,¡± Henrietta replied, as impervious to sarcasm as ever to sarcasm that did not flatter her. ¡°After all, you would be doomed were it not for me.¡±
That managed to coax a smile out of Regina, however little they were in supply with her.
¡°You are invaluable,¡± Regina replied. ¡°Without you, I am sure I would be dead thrice over.¡±A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
It was not an exaggeration.
Regina was very sure that there would be a desperate increase in assassination attempts before Regina had a chance to say her vows and cement the marriage neither she nor her beloved now wanted.
Whether it was Artem ordering the assassinations or the royal family themselves, there was little chance that Regina would make it to the altar alive and intact.
It was ironic that both of the wedding participants wanted so strongly to stop the marriage and yet neither of them could let their partner know.
She wished she could have said as much to Artem.
Unfortunately, she was aware that it was impossible for either of them to call off the wedding absent one of their deaths.
Worse still, even if she and Artem both wanted to go peacefully to the countryside, there was no chance at all the world would let them quietly disappear from the political stage. Nobles had taken positions and their threat to the crown prince was beyond the point of retraction.
There was only one way out that did not involve Regina stabbing Artem herself.
Henrietta had been trying to convince her of it for nearly the entire week, but it had taken Regina¡¯s conversation with Artem for Regina to realize the truth and agree.
¡°It would be more than thrice dead,¡± said Henrietta with a sniff, pulling Regina from her increasingly unpleasant thoughts.
¡°Anything that involves ducks does not count,¡± said Regina firmly.
¡°Fair,¡± said Henrietta. ¡°It is hard to tell whether they are helping you¡ or trying to assassinate you on their own.¡±
Regina shuddered. ¡°I sometimes wonder if someone who hates me has some duck related power, but does not want me to die quickly.¡±
¡°Well,¡± said Henrietta with a shrug, ¡°that will not be your problem very soon.¡±
Regina felt a sharp stab in her heart at the thought, surprised to realize that she might actually have grown attached to the aquatic monsters haunting her every waking moment.
She had been less surprised at her sorrow when she had to bid goodbye to the orphans. She was sure she had convinced her parents that it was a very valuable reputation raising activity to maintain them, but Artem had mentioned he would provide them with education and shelter and care after --
Regina closed her eyes.
Whatever Artem thought of her, his interactions with the orphans had always been genuine. He would care for them. They did not need her beyond her panniers and Artem could provide the actual care that was so difficult for her to show.
Artem might even stay around her parents long enough to act the part of a grieving would-be son-in-law -- something they would surely see as a fair exchange for Regina herself.
If Regina was a more sentimental woman, she might have called the sudden constriction in her chest heartache.
Instead, she dismissed it as another relic of her lingering childhood weakness - though one she needed Henrietta¡¯s voice to interrupt.
¡°Are you,¡± said Henrietta even as Regina went on with her dark thoughts, ¡°trying to pretend you are the star in some terrible morbid drama?¡±
¡°Am I not?¡± said Regina, opening one baleful eye to glare at her.
¡°We do not have time for you to faint and weep,¡± said Henrietta quite reasonably. ¡°So you will have to star in one of those ridiculous action stories instead.¡±
¡°The ones where no one bathes or eats or washes, but somehow everyone aids them on their quest anyways?¡± said Regina.
¡°Precisely,¡± said Henrietta and oh, Regina was glad even if there was no one else in the world she could trust, that her one person was Henri.
¡°I love you,¡± said Regina, meaning it with all her heart.
¡°I am a taken woman,¡± said Henrietta, with a sniff.
Before Regina could process that statement, Henrietta¡¯s face shifted into something grimmer and sadder.
¡°Was a taken woman,¡± said Henrietta.
¡°If you cannot do this¡¡± said Regina, starting to feel truly alarmed.
Henrietta waved her hand, her voice suspiciously even. ¡°What else awaits me if I do not do this? Are they going to kill me? Discover my secret and force me to marry Cousin Randolph who cannot go more than an hour without an episode after they tortured him as a child? If they think me powerless, will they somehow find someone even worse than your choice to marry me to?
¡°No offense,¡± Henrietta added belatedly.
¡°None taken,¡± said Regina. ¡°Perhaps your lover could-¡±
¡°No,¡± said Henrietta, her voice still that strange even tone. ¡°She- I mean, they have done enough. It is impossible.¡±
Before Regina could overcome her shock, Henrietta went on, her voice getting stronger.
¡°Almost,¡± Henrietta added, ¡°as impossible as your skirts.¡±
¡°None of this would be possible without my skirts,¡± said Regina, staring at their giant spread.
¡°Then let us make sure that they will make this possible,¡± said Henrietta, expertly working on the panniers¡ and what they would contain.
Regina looked down at her progress and felt a grim smile spread over her face.
After all, sometimes the only way to survive¡ was to die.
Chapter 37: Corpses and Confessions
It was, Regina thought, very fitting that the Alpins welcomed their new wives by making them walk through the dead bodies of all the previous family brides.
Like every noble line with a lineage that dated back to the conquest of Carcosa, the royal Alpins had customs that were unique to their family.
Unfortunately, Regina reflected as she stepped into the musty darkness in her enormous wedding dress, the Alpins¡¯ unique custom was to welcome their brides by making them walk through the dead bodies of their previous family before they entered the ceremonial hall to be married.
Of course, that begged the question of just why the Alpins had built their ceremonial hall on top of their catacombs.
¡°Gina,¡± Henrietta conversationally said as she lifted the torch, allowing slivers of light to illuminate giant stone-and-metal passageways that seemed to come from the fever dreams of an architect who overly-identified with bees. ¡°Even if we did not think that the Alpins wanted to murder you, they are far too terrifying to marry. Coming from our family, that is saying something.¡±
Regina stared at the giant stone-archways, circular niches, and assassin-friendly columns that made up the Alpin catacombs, the final resting place for generations of Alpins and Alpin-rivals who had all somehow had terrible accidents involving metal stakes.
¡°I agree,¡± said Regina.
Nothing lived in the Alpin catacombs ¨C even the smallest insect or the most tenacious plant. It was a place only for the dead and the about-to-be-wed. Frankly, it was terrifying that the Alpins thought the two should be mixed before a royal wedding.
Nothing lived¡ and Regina had a feeling that was intentional.
After all, this entire tradition seemed to be created to rid the Alpins of unwanted brides and bridegrooms, in case those unfortunate souls were not framed, exiled, or murdered before the wedding.
Even so, Regina was ready to go on this journey with only Henrietta as a support. After all, it was a sacred journey that was meant to carry her from the darkness of her past family to the sacred golden light of the Alpins.
Thus if it was a dead bride that the Alpins wanted, it was a dead bride they would receive.
¡°Henrietta,¡± Regina said, with a smile that was mostly teeth. ¡°Did you bring the material with you?¡±
Henrietta smiled back with equal warmth.
¡°As much as I enjoy vases,¡± Henrietta replied, ¡°there is nothing quite like a warm fire on a dark morning.¡±
Regina let her eyes travel upwards, up to the bodies of past Alpins and Alpin-rivals. To reduce the space needed to contain all of them, the Alpins had even decided to tie the exalted ones with rope, leaving the long-dessicated corpses to dangle above their heads.
It was, Regina decided, excellent fuel for the flames she and Henrietta would soon be fanning.
¡°Good,¡± Regina replied, and felt for the treasures within her skirt as she lifted her own lamp high. ¡°Then let us keep moving.¡±
~???~
The problem with seeing the future was that one began to rely on seeing the future. This meant that any endeavor where you could not see the future suddenly became terrifying.
¡®I have become spoiled,¡¯ Regina admitted to herself as she made her way as quickly as she could through the narrow path of bones. Out of the corner of her eye, she noted when Henrietta extinguished her own lamp and followed as silently as possible behind her. ¡®I have become so used to seeing danger through Artem that without those visions¡¡¯
Somewhere, the wind raced through bones that were hundreds of years old, rustling through skeletons, skulls, burial cloth, and urns with a fierce glee.The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
Regina flinched and admitted, ¡®I have lost my nerve and better find it before I doom myself.¡¯
At least, Regina consoled herself, she had Henrietta with her. Technically, an Alpin bride was supposed to have left her handmaiden at the entrance to the catacombs to await news of her successful ¨C or unsuccessful ¨C journey to the ceremonial hall. However, Henrietta had of course accompanied her¡ and was now following her at a distance, armed and ready.
Even so, Regina had taken other steps to save herself. Though she had not received any visions of her death over the next few nights, she had still made use of the information she had received through more mundane means. Her parents had wordlessly dropped off several crude sketches of the Alpin catacombs and she had determined the safest path forward. Regina assumed that her parents would only be paid if she survived long enough to be married, but since it was by far the most useful gift they had ever given her, Regina was hardly going to complain.
Of course, her chosen path seemed to take her uncomfortably close to niches full of grinning Alpin skulls long since stripped of hair and flesh but full of cheerful glee. However, it was also one of the many small paths that branched off the main road. This alone, Regina hoped, would make her harder to track.
Of course, just as Regina had begun to relax, she began to hear something¡ rattle.
¡®That could just be old bones,¡¯ Regina told herself, ¡®shifting with changes in the temperature or the wind.¡¯
Then she heard the rattles grow and grow and grow and decided that neither temperature nor the wind tended to shift bones that dramatically.
Just as she was shifting to bring her very heavy lamp down on the head of whoever intended to assail her, a very familiar voice broke through the darkness.
¡°My love?¡± it said ¨C and Regina went still.
~???~
It hurt more than Regina could have imagined to realize that her first thought on seeing Artem was relief.
Something deep in her bones recognized Artem as safe and the moment of joy was all the worse for being followed immediately by the realization of the truth.
¡°Why,¡± said Regina, trying to keep her voice even, to stall long enough for Henrietta to get closer, ¡°are you here¡ my sweet dove?¡±
She could see Artem now, his face strangely distorted in the shallow light of her lamp.
He looked, Regina realized, strangely exhausted.
¡°You,¡± said Artem, ¡°do not want to be Queen, do you?¡±
Regina froze, the world reduced to noise in her ears and a blurry mass in her vision.
¡°I,¡± Artem softly said, ¡°was going mad, trying to understand why you suddenly began to avoid me. I thought I understood your heart as you understood mine, only¡¡±
Even by the light of the flicking lamp, she could see the dark circles under his eyes as he mustered a smile.
¡°I,¡± Artem said, ¡°overestimated myself. I tried to deal with you, Regina, but you kept escaping me. So now ¨C¡±
Artem raised his hand and Regina felt her eyes go wide as she waited for him to strike.
¡°I know what to do,¡± Artem said, and his eyes glittered in the dark like the knives he could wield.
Regina took a step back, her heart beating like a hammer in her breast, and Artem followed without pausing.
¡°This will not hurt,¡± Artem said, his voice very gentle even as he took some papers out of his jacket¡¯s pocket. ¡°You may be a little¡ sleepy for a while but you will not feel a thing.¡±
He was going to kill her, Regina realized. He was going to and this close, she could do nothing.
¡°I have,¡± Artem added, his voice coming as if from a great distance, ¡°some connections¡ Mother¡¯s homeland¡ Brilliant idea about fire¡. Yet you need to die first¡¡±
He had placed some papers in her hand.
Regina could not look at them, could not read something meant to frame her for treason once she was dead and burned.
Artem really had meant to kill her all along.
The worst of it, she realized, was that even now, even facing her own death, she still loved her painfully strange, funny, and silly goldfish.
¡°Artem,¡± Regina said, and even as his eyes fixed on her, she stumbled for the words. ¡°Why would you do this? Did your family force you?¡±
That was when Artem blinked, confusion suffusing the face that Regina knew so well.
¡°What,¡± Artem said, ¡°do you mean?¡±
Yet before Regina could answer, Artem collapsed to the ground in front of her.
¡°Vases,¡± said Henrietta, watching the shattered shards of urn and corpse dust rain down on Artem¡¯s unconscious body, ¡°truly are incredibly useful things.¡±
Chapter 38: Truths and Trials
¡°By the blood!¡± Regina cried as she stared at Henrietta looming over Artem while raising the shattered urn above her head once again. ¡°Henri ¨C stop! You cannot kill him!¡±
Henrietta stared at Artem and flexed her arms experimentally.
¡°Are you sure?¡± Henrietta asked.
¡°Yes!¡± Regina sternly responded, even as she had to force down her instinctive desire to fling her body over Artem¡¯s to protect him from further blows. ¡°You cannot murder a royal prince, even if he was trying to¡ to¡¡±
¡°To kill you because his family told him to do so even after he told you he would love you forever?¡±
There was a reason that nobody in their family ever accused Henrietta of sensitivity.
¡°Even so,¡± Regina finally responded, closing her eyes to keep herself from further disgrace. ¡°If you and I flee Carcosa as penniless and powerless daughters of House Sheridan, that is one thing. If we are very lucky, no one in Carcosa will investigate our ¡®deaths¡¯ further because we are worth so little without our family¡¯s backing. Yet if you kill Artem¡¡±
Regina shuddered.
Whatever others thought of Artem, he was a member of the royal family and had proven his magical prowess a hundred times over. If he died and they were suspected of having a hand in his death, she and Henrietta would be chased down to the ends of the world. Their own ¡°deaths¡± would not be enough to protect them from the Alpin¡¯s fury.
Regina carefully did not admit, either to herself or to Henrietta, that this reason mattered less than the visceral horror that struck her at the thought of Artem¡¯s death.
Regina knew that she should have wanted to hurt Artem at this moment.
He had lied to her, deceived her, even attempted to murder her.
Even if reason kept her from murdering him, she should have at least wanted to kick him in the ribs while she had a chance.
Yet even so, Regina had to wrap her arms around herself to keep them from wrapping around Artem¡¯s body as he lay before her, scratched and helpless and bloody.
¡®Love,¡¯ Regina quietly realized, ¡®truly is even stranger and stupider than the terrible romance novels said.¡¯
Thankfully, it looked as though Henrietta was willing to listen to Regina. So, with a sigh, Henrietta let go of the remnants of her urn and heaved slender Artem onto her shoulder.
¡°Then I shall find some place to hide the princeling,¡± Henrietta said. ¡°Will you come with me?¡±
Regina shook her head, still keeping her arms wrapped around herself so as to not reach for Artem.
¡°No,¡± Regina quietly said. ¡°I have wasted enough of our time speaking with Artem and every second counts when they are expecting me at the ceremonial hall. I will go ahead and set up our ¡®exit¡¯ at the place we marked on my parents¡¯ map. Come meet me once you have found a safe¡ location for Artem and we will ¨C we will ¨C¡±
¡°Leave this place,¡± Henrietta added, ending Regina¡¯s sentence. ¡°I am ready whenever you are.¡±
Regina was not sure she would ever be ready.
Even so, she knew that this needed to happen.
Regina took one last look at Artem, slung over Henrietta¡¯s sturdy shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
Smiling bleakly, Regina said, ¡°Thank you, Hen, for doing what I cannot.¡±
Then Regina let her fingers trail down to the substances she had kept hidden in her bridal skirts and thought of what she was eager to do.
Namely, she was going to burn down the Alpins¡¯ catacombs so that she and Henrietta could flee Carcosa forever.
~???~
Regina quickly made her way to the remotest part of the catacombs ¨C a place she and Henrietta had decided was the ideal location to start a raging fire. Her path was made possible by the strange everburning Alpin torches that were spread just far enough to see the near area, while still allowing for ominous shadows outside their reach.
Feeling smug at the ease of her arrival, Regina started the next part of the plan with unusual optimism. After all, she had skirts that were designed to be easily torn, a set of materials to use with those easily torn skirts, and the determination of a woman well scorned.
Unfortunately, she discovered that arson needed significant exertion.
¡°Who knew,¡± Regina grimly muttered as she stacked the lightest, most desiccated, dead bodies atop one another like cord wood, ¡°that Alpins are just as troublesome dead as when they are alive?¡±
Indeed, Alpins were nearly as irritating when they were corpses as when they were living men and women. For if they were not attempting to assassinate Regina after she had shared her first night with them, they were shooting dust up her nose, caking her hands with dirt, and generally doing everything in their power to avoid stacking into a nice tidy pile that she could set on fire.
By the end of a half-hour of exertion, Regina was covered in dirt and cursing the entire Alpin lineage from their very moment of conception.
¡°Why,¡± she angrily asked the pile of corpses she was about to light on fire, ¡°will none of you royal idiots ever just do what I ask you to? Instead, you need to get engaged to me, make me fall in love with you, and then try to kill me repeatedly!¡±Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.
Enraged, Regina punched one of the Alpin skulls she had stacked up in the face¡ only to angrily hiss when her knuckles began bleeding against the jagged edges of its teeth.
¡°By the blood!¡± she cursed. ¡°None of you Alpins can ever make this easy ¨C even if you are too inept to murder me!¡±
That reminded Regina of Artem and that made her lash out again, never mind how much her hand throbbed from yet another collision with Alpin teeth.
¡°Why did you have to lie to me?¡± she asked the ancestors of a man who was not even present. ¡°I did not even ask you for your love. You just made me believe that you were giving it freely!¡±
If she kept this up, Regina grimly realized, she was not going to have any intact skin on her hands. So, changing tactics, she lifted her skirt up and gave the Alpins a vicious kick that she felt they all deserved.
¡°You just gave your love to me,¡± she went on raging, ¡°and after so many months, you made me expect it, enjoy it, even need it! Then, just as I thought you were the one person in the world left in the world who loved me just for being myself ¨C¡±
Regina ground an Alpin beneath her heels and felt as though her heart were turning to dust as well.
¡°It turns out you wanted to use me¡ just like everyone but Henrietta.¡±
The papers that Artem had given Regina crinkled within her petticoats, as though she needed yet more reminders of the treachery of that stupid goldfish.
¡°Well, may the blood curse you!¡± she shouted, and tried to believe it. ¡°I do not need you, your love, or your papers. So they can go burn with your damned ancestors as well!¡±
With a sense of cold finality, Regina ripped Artem¡¯s papers out of her skirt, ready to set them aflame along with his ancestors and her identity.
That was when she finally looked at said papers¡
¡.and felt her heart stop at the words they contained.
Mrs. Jane Sullivan, the first said, along with: jewelry merchant traveling to countries west of Carcosa along with husband.
The page fluttered down and then Regina stared at a surprisingly good sketch of her own face. That is, it was a surprisingly good sketch of her face if her hair was cut short and dyed brown, and her ornate jewels and dresses exchanged for a simple pin against a plain muslin frock.
With mounting dread, Regina looked at the next page in her hand.
Mr. John Sullivan, it said, along with: jewelry merchant apprenticed to Mr. Tarry Pritchet of the Capital. Will be traveling west of Carcosa with wife for twelve weeks.
The page afterward held another skilled sketch of Artem¡¯s face, though his hair had also been cut short and tinted brown, while his clothes were exchanged for a merchant¡¯s sedate suit.
¡®By the blood,¡¯ Regina realized as she began frantically combing through the papers that Artem had left her. ¡®What was Artem trying to do?!¡¯
And as Regina increasingly desperately rifled through Artem¡¯s papers, she discovered the truth.
Artem¡¯s papers contained nothing but¡ travel documents and false identities. There was enough documentation to convince any normal border agent that he and Regina were an ordinary merchant couple traveling outside of Carcosa to peddle their trade.
This kind of documentation went far beyond what she and Henrietta had been able to prepare for themselves as they had attempted to flee. This meant that¡
¡®Artem,¡¯ Regina realized as the truth dawned with the force of a lightning strike, ¡®never meant to kill me!¡¯
Even if his family wanted her dead, these documents proved that Artem wanted to save her life¡ by running away with her to another country.
All this time, Artem had loved her and did want to keep her safe!
He was even willing to give up the privileges of being a prince to make her happy!
Yet how had she repaid him?
By suspecting him of seeking her murder, shunning him a week before their wedding, and allowed Henrietta to knock him unconscious with a vase!
¡®I truly am a villainess,¡¯ Regina realized with all-encompassing horror, ¡®and if I do not find Artem and apologize immediately ¨C¡¯
What would happen if Artem woke to find her ¡°dead¡± in the flames she would leave behind?
What would that do to a pure and innocent heart that she had already wounded gravely?
Head spinning with the possibilities, Regina turned from the pile of bodies.
Regina began to move.
She did not know where she was going.
She did not even know where she had been.
Within the enormous and empty catacombs, there was no way to know where Henrietta had taken Artem, especially since the last thing Regina wanted was to attract attention to herself.
Regina hoped that Henrietta had taken Artem to some location outside where the fire could spread. However, as her anger started to fade and the fear started to build, Regina realized that Henrietta had never promised that she would remove Artem entirely from danger.
After all, Henrietta did not need to directly murder Artem.
She could just leave Artem to die to the fire that Regina built.
So all Regina could do now was move as quickly as she could while making as little noise as possible, trying to control her guilt and fear.
¡°I will find them both,¡± Regina told herself as she raced forward. ¡°I will find him and I will apologize to Artem and we will ¨C we still can ¨C¡±
However, anything Regina was planning ended when she reached the arch in front of her. She stopped abruptly, staring up at the arch with long, strangely ominous flower-studded vines that dangled down to drape over anyone who might be approaching.
Yet nothing lived in the catacombs.
Slowly, oh so slowly, Regina bent over as she pretended to adjust her skirt¡
¡while she secretly pulled out one of the flammable liquid vials that she had hidden in her panniers.
Then, in a single fluid movement born from months of avoiding death, Regina rose with the vial and threw it in a perfect arc toward the vines.
As the flames lit the entire room, Regina grimly smiled.
¡°There you are,¡± she said as the world began to burn around her and a voice cried out in shock. ¡°Are you here to offer me another blossom¡ Robin Buren?¡±
Chapter 39: The End of the Beginning
The world was burning.
The world was burning and Regina realized that everything she had thought she knew was wrong.
As if her body was detached from her mind, Regina felt herself ducking behind a pillar, pulling her sleeve over her mouth to avoid inhaling the smoke.
All her mind could seem to think was ¡®Not Artem, NOT ARTEM, notartem, notartem¡¯
¡°Where are you?¡± said Robin Buren, his voice echoing over the flames. ¡°You are very clever, princess.¡±
¡®Not clever,¡¯ thought Regina as she quietly, carefully began to move. ¡®Not clever at all. Why did I not realize that the nobles had more reason to want me dead than even the Alpins or my own family? I even thought as much earlier but I was so stupid and afraid¡¡¯
She braced herself, trying to determine if she could reach the next pillar without being seen, trying to listen to the footsteps getting closer since she had stupidly greeted her killer and he knew where she was-
The worst of it was that she had enjoyed talking to Robin and dancing with him. He had seemed so interested in her thoughts and verbally sparring with her-
Regina froze, her eyes widening.
There was a flash of light out of the corner of her eye, separate from the flames that would die back all too soon, and Regina knew what she needed to do.
¡°So many noble families hate the Sheridans,¡± Regina said carefully, slowly, quietly inching forward.
It was the biggest gamble of her life.
The footsteps stopped.
Regina firmly pushed away her faint burst of hope and kept moving.
¡°We rose so fast,¡± she said, almost conversationally. ¡°Commoners who reached the rank of marquis in less than two generations.¡±
¡°It was an incredible rise,¡± said Robin, further away than he should have been. Further away than he should have been when he could have killed her before she even saw him or his flowers.
Regina bit her tongue to avoid letting out the high-pitched exhale, kept her voice calm and even.
¡°Then they somehow convinced the Alpins to make me the crown prince¡¯s fiance,¡± she said, in the voice that most resembled the colour beige, as if she was talking about how to best place wood paneling. ¡°It was very likely that a duchy could be given to them if they succeeded¡ as well as the land that would come with that title.¡±
¡°Except,¡± said Robin, and oh, that was curiosity in his voice, ¡°while everyone knew you were to be engaged to Crown Prince Aaron, that was not the announcement that was made.¡±
¡°Of course it was not,¡± said Regina, her voice calm, even as her shaking hand fumbled for the next pillar in the shadows of the flames. ¡°Do you think I am a fool?¡±
¡°Anything but that,¡± said Robin Buren, deadly plant assassin who had tried to kill her dozens of times and scion of a noble family that wanted her dead.
The worst part was that he sounded sincere.
The flames were so hot and the smoke so acrid, but Regina knew she had to keep going, close to their edges. They would burn through soon enough and she would have no more time.
So, like that ancient Alpin princess, she needed to tell a story so interesting that-
¡°Who,¡± she said, voice firm, hands shaking, ¡°would marry a man who would rule you when-¡±
Her voice trailed off because even as a story, even as a distraction, she could not lie like that, could not disrespect Artem when she had already betrayed him so thoroughly.
¡°-When you could marry a man that you could rule.¡±
Fortunately, Robin was willing to lie for her.
¡°A man you could make the crown prince,¡± said Robin and that was admiration in his voice.
Regina closed her eyes, felt them stinging in a way that had nothing to do with the smoke and everything to do with her own self-loathing and lack of understanding of how she had been seen as she continued to carefully inch forward.
She had trusted no one, not even Henrietta fully, and now she had sent away the two people most precious to her. She had sent them both into danger and she was alone, stripped of any future knowledge, against the most dangerous assassin sent against her. If she failed, they would die too.
Perhaps this was the last gift she could give them.
One way or another, Robin Buren was never going to kill anyone else again.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.
¡°Yes,¡± said Regina, the calmness of certainty settling over her, ¡°a man I could make the crown prince.¡±
Artem and his smiles and his dancing and his killing and his kindness and his papers to save her life and give her the life she wanted.
This much she could do.
Perhaps it was all she could ever have done.
¡°I was so sad that it was you,¡± Regina said, and found herself meaning it.
There - she heard the footsteps falter and a soft inhale.
She was not wrong.
¡°I enjoyed our conversations,¡± said Regina, a truth amongst the lies, ¡°even when you were wearing a mask and asking me personal questions. You were the most normal person I met.¡±
¡°So you knew it was me even then?¡± said Robin. ¡°Your standards for normalcy are very strange, my lady.¡±
He was not wrong.
Regina had not known for sure that the masked man at the masquerade had been Robin, but having it confirmed allowed her to confirm nearly everything else.
¡°You were kind,¡± she said, ¡°when nearly everyone else was cruel or wanted something from me or treated me like some kind of circus performer.¡±
He had also been present in the location of nearly every one of her deaths, but Regina was past the point where she could berate herself for that truth.
¡°You deserved kindness,¡± said Robin and Regina hated that he sounded sincere. ¡°I had hoped that-¡±
Regina did not want to hear his hopes.
It would only make things more difficult.
¡°Your bouquet of flowers for my engagement,¡± said Regina, hardening herself as she thought of her fear and terror, of Artem¡¯s deaths, ¡°the flowers on the chandelier at the theatre, the ¡®mold¡¯ on the wainscoting in the orphanage, the vines that poisoned Artem above the fountain-¡±
¡°No one else has ever noticed,¡± said Robin and Regina ignored the tone of his voice, ignored the way his words shook.
¡°You were not responsible for all of the murder attempts,¡± said Regina, feeling for the place where the columns changed to the stone of the wall, feeling for the wall lined with the Alpins¡¯ ever-burning torches. ¡°There were so many other, more incompetent assassins.¡±
Incompetent assassins that were killed.
Unless Robin had multiple bodies, he obviously had not been involved.
¡°I tried to convince them to stop sending the others,¡± said Robin. ¡°They were getting desperate.¡±
Of course he was not in charge, Regina realized.
It did not change her plans, even if she would have liked to warn Henrietta and Artem.
After all, if she succeeded no warnings would be necessary.
¡°You wanted to kill me that badly?¡± said Regina, trying to keep her voice light.
¡°I knew you could-¡± said Robin and then his words stopped abruptly.
Regina felt a wave of horror pass over her as she realized what Robin, clever, clever Robin must have realized.
¡°It was not you anymore,¡± said Robin, almost pleading. ¡°I convinced them that so long as your prince-¡±
There was a dull, distant noise in Regina¡¯s head as she realized that she was the reason Artem was under threat.
She was why he had been targeted.
She had thought he was just an accidental part of the attempts on her but it had been-
¡°It is me now though,¡± said Regina, as the final piece of resolve slid into place, as her hand reached the opening on the wall she had been trying to find. ¡°They could not let me actually marry Artem.¡±
The silence outside the slowly dying flames was deafening.
¡°It is you now,¡± said Robin, and Regina did not understand why sounded almost anguished as he appeared in front of her out of the flames. ¡°The Nevilles will not¡¡±
Well that answered a question that Regina had not even realized she had.
¡°Unfortunately,¡± said Regina, looking him directly in the eyes, ¡°I am no delicate blossom and I will not die as one. I would rather take my own life than grant you the privilege of killing me!¡±
With that Regina tossed the second vial from her skirt, pulled the cord¡
¡and smiled in utter satisfaction as the wall of flames sprang up between her and Robin, even as the ones behind her were starting to subside with only stone to sustain them.
Even through the flames, she could see the horror on Robin¡¯s face- and that made her laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh ¨C
Her removed skirt ¨C with all its terrible, stiff, and flammable cloth ¨C started to burn and caught the nearby burial clothes and bones in the alcove aflame as well.
Regina ran.
She ran to the darkened pillars out of range of the flames, tucking herself into the darkness.
Yet Robin had no way of knowing that at all.
Not when all he could hear was her mad laughter as it echoed through the stone archways and danced along the flames¡
Right before it abruptly died.
Her burning skirt, Regina noted with satisfaction, really did look like a crumpled body.
Even better was that without it, in nothing but her shift, she could move more easily.
She would need every advantage she could get to finish what she had started.
Regina looked at Robin collapsed in horror, ignoring the flames beside him, genuine shock on his face.
She did not know why he was even more surprised than she expected, but it gave her the opportunity she had been seeking.
Regina grasped the last bottle in her skirts and took a deep breath.
She had destroyed the lives of those she loved.
So long as she was alive, they would be in danger from those who wanted ¡°Princess Regina Sheridan¡±, symbol of Sheridan power, dead.
It was the only gift she could give them.
She was not powerful enough to kill an assassin, but, if she was very very quick and clever and quiet¡
¡she was powerful enough to kill a distracted assassin and herself.
¡®I am sorry, Ava,¡¯ thought Regina, her sister first in her thoughts as she took the final, fatal steps forward. ¡®I do not think I can keep my promise to live for you.¡¯
As she took the step that would bring her into the light, into the final position-
-an angry QUACK sounded and the world froze.
Chapter 40: The Beginning of the End
The world was frozen and there was an angry duck in front of Regina.
To be fair, Regina was not sure she had ever seen a duck that was not angry at her but everything else¡
Regina stared at the still flames, at the frozen figure of Robin Buren staring out at her fake frozen body.
¡°What in the name of the blood?¡± howled Regina as she clutched her aching ankle that had just been viciously pecked.
She looked down into the eyes of the duck in front of her and suddenly, staring into those dark, knowing eyes the world shifted again.
¡°Oh,¡± said Regina as the world settled around her and she understood what was happening.
For the first time in her visions, Regina instantly knew exactly where she was.
The duck or her mind or her powers had deposited her in a place she knew almost better than she knew her own body.
Despite the familiarity, Regina was even more confused than she would have been in an unfamiliar location.
¡®Why,¡¯ she thought as she stared at the familiar walls around her, ¡®am I seeing a vision of my family¡¯s manor garden at night? The garden at the Sheridan home estate that burned down ten years ago?¡¯
She blinked, wondering if she had somehow fainted and fallen into a normal dream.
While Regina had always loved the garden, she had never gone back there after Ava¡¯s death.
So why would she ¨C
There was a noise from the garden behind her and Regina turned sharply towards it.
It took everything in her power to stifle her gasp when she realized who was making that noise.
There, pausing in front of the ornamental pond, was a boy with blond hair and blue eyes and features that were achingly familiar even in the fading twilight.
There was the man she loved ¨C Artem Alpin.
Only he was no man.
This was Artem as a child.
Regina¡¯s breath caught in her ghostly throat as she stared at this boy who had to be a younger version of her husband, who was identical to Artem in all aspects except age.
It made no sense except if ¨C
¡°You can come out,¡± said this strangely young version of Artem. ¡°After all, you can strangle me more easily if you are close to me.¡±
He turned straight towards Regina, and his gaze was so cold that Regina felt a chill down her spine as she wondered why he could finally see her in these moments ¨C
Then all her thoughts scattered as an achingly familiar voice rang behind her.
¡°I am not here for strangling, little one,¡± it said, ¡°though I commend you on your vision.¡±
Regina turned and saw the person who she loved and missed in equal measure.
¡°Ava,¡± Regina said in an exhale of breath that her sister did not respond to.
¡®Yet how,¡¯ Regina wondered, ¡®could Ava exist in a vision of the future?¡¯
After all, Ava was already dead.
Yet here Ava was, with curly black hair spilling down to her shoulders and a warm, wry smile on her lips.
Ava was just as Regina remembered her, and now, looking at her, Regina realized just how young her sister had been when she died.
Even as tears pricked her eyes, Regina watched her sister walk past her, passing through her fingers, looking just as she did in the days before her murder.
Yet Regina was not the only one who noticed her.
Regina felt her heart skip a beat as Artem straightened and began to reach for something on his chest.
In horror, Regina realized that it looked like the brooch that she had seen him smash a vase with ¨C
Only Artem¡¯s hand froze as Ava, beautiful Ava, began to laugh.
¡°Do you truly believe,¡± asked Ava, ¡°that someone as weak as me would dare harm a beloved Alpin prince when he comes to visit my family¡¯s home?¡±
Artem paused, seeming strangely¡ confused.
Finally, eyes narrowed, he replied.
¡°Everyone tries to kill me,¡± he said in a solemn, matter-of-fact voice. ¡°Not that I mind. I cannot be better than my brother, but I am allowed to stop the people killing me. It would be boring otherwise.¡±
¡°Ah,¡± Ava replied, not seeming at all shocked by his statement, even as Regina felt a burning pain in her chest from his words. ¡°It is hard to be bored, is it not? Lonely and afraid and bored.¡±
Artem flinched, as though Ava¡¯s words physically hurt.
¡°Who are you?¡± said Artem, sounding impossibly young. ¡°How dare you say these things to me?¡±
Ava laughed once more, the sound as sweet and as sad as Regina remembered.A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
¡°I dare,¡± Ava said, ¡°because I am the Princess of Ducks¡ and I am here to tell you a story that is not boring.¡±
Regina did not understand.
Regina could not understand.
Even so, she saw Artem hesitate at Ava¡¯s words once more.
¡°I like stories,¡± he said at last, sounding almost¡ shy. ¡°No one tells them to me, but I sometimes hear other people telling them to one another.¡±
¡°Well,¡± said Ava with a shrug. ¡°You will like this story. I spent a long time finding the one that would make my most precious person happiest¡ and it is a story that is good for you as well.¡±
¡°Tell me!¡± said Artem, his eyes brightening as he finally looked like the child he was.
Regina stared at them both, a sick sensation building in her throat.
¡°Once upon a time,¡± said Ava, ¡°there was a family who wanted things. They wanted so many things and they wanted them so much that the blood gave them what they wished for¡ if not exactly what they wanted.¡±
¡°Who are these people?¡± Artem demanded, even though Regina already knew.
¡°There are so many of them,¡± Ava replied with a smile, ¡°so I will tell you of the most interesting four. There was a woman who wanted the thrill of the hunt and the chase and to ride out to the sky and meet it and she became the Princess of Horses. There was a man who wanted money and security and he became the Prince of Ledgers. They did not like each other at all but other people wanted things enough that they wed and had a daughter who wanted ¨C¡±
Ava paused for a moment, staring out past the walls of the garden.
¡°She wanted to fly free,¡± Ava said softly, ¡°and so she became the Princess of Ducks.¡±
¡°Is this a story about you?¡± Artem snapped, a scowl starting to form. ¡°People always think stories about themselves are interesting and they never are.¡±
¡°Oh it is not about me at all,¡± Ava responded with a laugh. ¡°For there was another daughter, the most special, wonderful, beautiful girl in the world¡ but she had not been honest with herself about what she wanted, so she did not become a Princess when she should have.¡±
Regina found herself leaning towards Ava even as Artem did the same, both fascinated in spite of themselves.
¡°What happened to her?¡± said Artem, voice hushed.
Ava smiled a strange, almost sad smile.
¡°That is the thing about stories, little one,¡± Ava said softly. ¡°Stories are meant for princes and princesses¡ and all others disappear. For if you cannot be a princess while you step into the role of one¡¡±
Ava sighed, the sound familiar, sad, and sweet.
¡°Then you will disappear.¡±
¡®Oh,¡¯ Regina realized. ¡®Oh.¡¯
¡°Still,¡± Ava continued, ¡°there was hope. For though the beautiful little girl did not know she would disappear if she did not become both a Princess and a princess, her sister could see. For her sister was¡¡±
¡°The Princess of Ducks!¡± Artem announced, sounding excited to make his own contribution. Then, confused, he added, ¡°But how can the Princess of Ducks see all of these things?¡±
Ava laughed again, this time almost ruefully.
¡°The Princess of Ducks can see more than anyone might expect,¡± she said, ¡°for ducks can go nearly anywhere and the Princess of Ducks can see through them. You would be amazed by how often she could see all the possible stories that could play out¡ and see how often they ended sadly.¡±
¡°So the Princess of Ducks could not find a single happy ending for her little sister?¡± Artem asked, sounding torn between sadness and suspicion.
¡°Not quite,¡± Ava said, smiling sadly. ¡°You see, the Princess of Ducks realized that her sister could only survive if she became a Princess as well¡ only the Princess of Ducks could not find a single story where she could remain a Princess and her beloved little sister could become a Princess as well.¡±
Regina felt as if she had been dropped in a block of ice.
¡°This made the Princess of Ducks sad at first,¡± Ava admitted. ¡°Yet more than anything, she wanted her sister to become a Princess and to live happily forever¡ and finally, she realized how to achieve her goal.¡±
¡°How?¡± Artem cried.
¡°The Princess of Ducks realized,¡± said Ava with a soft smile, ¡°that her sister needed to find her heart¡¯s desire to become a princess¡ and at last, the Princess of Ducks found out what her sister actually wanted.¡±
¡°What did she want?¡± said Artem.
¡°Her little sister wanted more than she realized she ever wanted,¡± Ava replied softly. ¡°For though she thought she wanted mere survival, what she really wanted was to have someone she could trust and love ¨C someone who would do anything for her because she would do anything for him as well.¡±
¡°Who,¡± Artem asked in a wavering voice, ¡°could be so lucky?¡±
¡°You can,¡± Ava answered, holding out her hand. ¡°For that little sister is the Princess of Artem¡ and when she sees you for the first time, her heart will know that you are what she wanted all along. She will save you during your first meeting.¡±
¡°Me?¡± said Artem, his eyes wide and shocked. ¡°Someone will want me? Someone will save me?¡±
¡°All the time,¡± Ava firmly replied. ¡°For my little sister is your Princess¡ and she will do anything she must to keep her beloved safe and beside her.¡±
Regina could not see her own sister clearly, her vision dimming as she stared at the people before her.
¡°Then where is my Princess?¡± Artem asked, his voice wavering. ¡°Not that I¡ I believe in stories, but should I not meet her now that I am here?¡±
¡°She will come to you,¡± Ava answered firmly, ¡°when it is time. She has a daring rescue to carry out. You do not want to take that away from her, do you?¡±
Artem paused, looking torn between joy and worry.
¡°I do not,¡± Artem admitted, ¡°but I cannot stay here long. Father is only here to investigate the territories and I do not think he will let me come along with him and Mother again. There have been too many people trying to kill me. So will I have to wait very long to meet my princess?¡±
¡°The wait will be exactly as long as it needs to be,¡± said Ava, right before something white and quacking suddenly landed.
Both Artem and Regina flinched before they realized it was merely a duck¡ and that Ava was smiling at the both of them.
Regina frowned.
There was no possible way that Ava could see her and yet¡
¡°Trust yourself, trust her, and trust the ducks,¡± she said. ¡°Please keep them around you at all times so I can see my Princess of Artem be happy.¡±
Regina could barely see Ava now through her tears.
Regina raised her hands to her face even as Ava awkwardly bent to quickly embrace Artem¡¯s small body.
¡°Why?¡± Artem asked, sounding confused as he accepted Ava¡¯s hug. ¡°Can you not see my Princess for yourself?¡±
¡°No,¡± Ava quietly admitted. ¡°My little sister will never become a true Princess if I remain a Princess as well. She must be truly lonely if she is to be the Princess of Artem¡ which means I cannot still be with her.¡±
The realization sank into Regina¡¯s heart and made it burn.
¡®Ava,¡¯ thought Regina, ¡®was this why you let yourself die despite your power? Did you sacrifice yourself to keep me safe?¡¯
Regina closed her eyes and when she opened them, she saw dying flames once again as the past faded away as if it had never been.
She saw where she was once more¡ and she smiled.
Sometimes, the past could set you free.
After all, the Princess of Artem had a much better story to tell than committing suicide to kill an assassin.
As Regina started to move forward, a new plan forming in her mind, she realized that there was more than one way to skin a duck.
Omake: Happy Holidays from Regina and Artem!
Dear Readers,
This is Tanya and Emily, the two writers of this story. We wanted wish you all a very happy holiday season and let you know again how grateful we are to you for your support.
So in honor of the season, we bring you holiday cards from Regina and Artem themselves! May you have a wonderful, restful break ahead of you... and please remember to support a villainess or two!Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.
Love,
Tanya & Emily
Chapter 41: Over Parting Flesh
Regina had her brains, her determination, and an angry duck to use to defeat a skilled assassin.
Only one of these things was new. Even so, Regina felt as if she had gone from hopelessness to a sheer determined certainty that she was not going to die this day.
Ava, her beloved sister, had somehow reached out from a past that had tortured Regina for years and given Regina the strength she needed to survive.
It still did not make what Regina had to do any less impossible.
Regina drew back her foot as she moved more thoroughly behind the column that gave her the best view of Robin Buren, her terrifying and now strangely still assassin.
The flames from his vines had already died back almost completely, without any other living material to feed them. Regina had counted on the plant fire to lure Robin towards her the first time without putting either of them in ¡°real¡± danger since the fire was within a small space and brief but intense. It had still allowed the fire to act as a brief wall between them where they could see and speak with one another¡ a wall that she had used to fake her death without him being able to get too close.
There was no chance that she could use a shield of flames a second time.
Her ¡°dead body¡± was still aflame, but those flames were mostly against the wall and useless as a shield while she was in the more exposed columns of the catacombs.
How long would the flames even last with only a few urns and her skirt to feed them?
It was fortunate that the mysterious Alpin lights were mostly against the wall, allowing her to see Robin while he could not see her. However, any movement towards him would bring her into the light as well.
His figure was slumped towards the flames, his head in his hands¡ but could his seeming vulnerability be a trap?
Now that Regina was not planning to die with Robin to ensure that he would perish when she used her own body to keep him from leaving the burning flames¡
Now, coming behind him was an even more difficult problem to solve.
She had circled back behind the columns, but she was running out of time before her most powerful distraction failed utterly.
So what could she do?
Her skirts were gone. She had no allies. Her only remaining container of flammable liquid was as much a danger to her as to Robin, since without her pinning him down, he could easily avoid or put out any flames that she set on him.
Given the ease with which Robin wielded plants, he must have the ability to create a shield to pull flames from him¡ as he did when he walked through her flames in the first place.
There had to be something she could use¡ something she was missing¡
Still, Regina knew she faced a man who had managed to incapacitate Artem ¨C even when Artem was the most powerful magician Regina had ever seen!
Of course, the incapacitation had only come after Robin had poisoned and tied Artem and it was not as if Regina had any poison-
Regina¡¯s eyes widened.
A slow brilliant smile spread over her face.
¡°Now if only I had a distraction,¡± she muttered, even as her hands started moving swiftly across her bodice.
She needed to get at least two columns closer if she had any hope at all of saving herself. Unfortunately the next two columns were in the light.
By the blood.
Regina nearly bit through her tongue trying not to shriek, when another sharp pain spread through her ankle.
As she tried to hold back the tears of pain, a very cranky duck waltzed out into the light.Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.
¡°Quack,¡± said the duck.
Regina stared at the duck.
Robin slowly lifted his head and stared at the duck.
Regina moved.
As quickly and quietly as she could, she raced to the darkest side of the well lit column while Robin seemed to be engaged in some sort of¡ staring contest with the duck.
With a stifled sigh of relief, Regina leaned back against the column, closing her eyes.
In a strange way, the whole situation felt like her very first vision where she had wandered in her shift in front of Lord Grass Hair, feeling naked and lost.
This time, she had a corset and garters and far too much jewelry to support her wedding dress, but the sensation of being naked and unarmed and lost was the same¡ except that this time Robin Buren, Lord Grass Hair, could see her.
It was, Regina realized, an even worse feeling than watching herself die in a dream.
At least she had made it to the first of the two columns without notice-
A hand suddenly barely avoided grabbing the edge of Regina¡¯s shift as Regina slid herself to the opposite side of the column faster than she had ever moved in her life.
¡°So what little mouse,¡± said Robin Buren, definitely not still kneeling on the ground in front of the fire, ¡°has decided to come visit me?¡±
Regina held her breath, trying to stay as still as the column she was melding herself against.
If he found her now-
¡°Little mouse, little mouse,¡± said Robin softly, his voice echoing like thunder in the pulse in Regina¡¯s veins. ¡°Where are you hiding?¡±
His hand started to reach around the side where Regina was hiding.
Frantically, Regina wondered if she could avoid him and get back into the darkness with all element of surprise gone and if she could even avoid her imminent strangling ¨C
¡°QUACK!¡±
¡°You blood bedamned duck!¡± howled Robin and Regina suddenly understood exactly what she had to do.
Regina ran.
She did not look back.
She ran and she ran into the flames and ignored the fire and ran so that she was behind the flames and her burning skirt and she was somehow not on fire and the fire was dying but that was no problem and Regina threw her last canister at those terrible Alpin lights, hoping she was right-
The lights exploded into the most glorious burst of light Regina had ever seen and Regina turned and saw Robin fall again to his knees, blinded.
Regina moved.
She had been pulling her corset laces loose and her garter loose and she pounced.
Robin tried to grab her.
She stabbed him.
The brooch looked beautiful buried an inch deep in the palm of his hand.
Regina grimly continued, her hands steady, her vision focused entirely on what she had to do while Robin thrashed, unable to grab her, unable to see.
¡°You bite well for a mouse,¡± he said, his voice dark and still beautiful somehow as a flower bloomed on his palm.
Regina calmly stabbed him with another brooch.
The last of the knots fell into place and suddenly, Regina had wrapped herself a present she had never anticipated.
Bound in strong corset strings and even stronger garters, with knots that even a sailor would find difficult to undo, for once in her life Regina finally felt like she had the upper hand.
¡°There,¡± she said, as she looked down on her handiwork, as Robin¡¯s thrashing suddenly stilled entirely.
Regina, for maybe the first time in her life, told a joke because she actually wanted to tell a joke.
¡°You have been a very knotty boy, Robin,¡± she said smugly. ¡°Now you will be tied up and punished.¡±
Regina had been prepared to have to stab Robin with more jewelry after riling him with her words.
What she had not expected was for Robin Buren to slump in front of her, his head bowed before her as he looked up at her through his unfairly long eyelashes.
¡°You are alive,¡± said Robin. ¡°I am¡¡±
He closed his eyes.
¡°You are a brilliant woman who deserves to live a long, happy life, my lady,¡± said Robin Buren, assassin for the Neville and Buren duchies.
¡°Yes,¡± said Regina Sheridan, survivor. ¡°I do.¡±
¡°Now,¡± said Regina Sheridan, once and future Princess, as she kicked Robin onto his back and put her heel over his throat, ¡°I will ensure it.¡±