《The Powers Within》


 Chapter 1

    I am not crazy. That is what I tried to say; what I tried to get across. It was an accident. That is what I tried to prove. No one believed me-trusted me. They didn''t think that someone like me could have feelings for anyone but myself; therefore, they expected me to be the monster I was born as.


    My name is Astrid Roberts, and I am not crazy. I broke down, and in turn, it resulted in something fatal, and therefore I was sent to a mental facility. I am a 16-year-old who has been locked away since I was 12. All because of an accident.


    I am not crazy, and everyone knows. I am not insane, but no one seems to care. I am not mad, but it doesn''t matter. No matter what I do to prove myself, I will never be free. I am not acceptable in society. I will never be allowed to show my face again.


    When I was younger, there was one person that actually seemed to care. He never spoke, and he never needed to.


    Everything he wanted to say was in every smile he made, every dimple he shared. His name was Gray. He was the boy that sat in the back, never said a word, never was in trouble. He said so much without moving his mouth. His eyes said everything.


    One day, I was sitting by the fence on the other side of the playground, eating my lunch. Gray came and sat next to me. He didn''t say a word. He didn''t have to because the comfort of another person actually acknowledging my existence was enough.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    None of what I just wrote makes any connection with the reason why I am writing this.


    I am writing this to keep me sane. I am writing this to help me cope. This facility, this box, that I am in is nothing more than a trap for me, to make me insane.


    The society I was born into has shaped me into a person with no love for myself or others, but instead, hope that could fill oceans. Hope that people could love me. Hope that people could understand me. That hope was fueled that day when Gray sat next to me.


    That simple act of kindness gave me hope. Hope for society to treat me like a human, rather than a monster. Instead, they locked me away for four years.


    Here, in this asylum, we scream. We scream, hoping someone will hear our cries. The other patients locked in here always yell. It is hard to sleep because It is so loud. I think they kill whoever is loudest.


    Ever since the new government took over, the sick and old are killed or locked away.They promised us Freedom, but they shut us away. They promised us equality, and they discriminate.


    It is hard to live in a world where you are discriminated against. Not just for the color of my skin, but also for my unnatural abilities.


    Growing up in Birmingham, Alabama, is hard for a girl of color. Especially if that girl accidentally killed someone, using an unnatural ability.


    I will close this entry for today. This isn''t even half of what is yet to come.

 Chapter 2

    We have no windows. We have no way of telling what time of day it is except for the fluorescent lights.


    Lately, I have found myself thinking about Gray. His smile, his eyes, his dimples. I can''t help thinking about the one person who actually acknowledged me as a human.


    I am alone. Whether I like it or not, I am alone. No matter how many imaginary realities I create in my mind or my journal, I am alone.


    I create worlds where I am an average teenager, going to regular school, rather than being inhuman and unacceptable.


    I have wished on stars that I imagine flying across my ceiling, wishing only to be heard. Hoping that I could be understood and accepted.


    Sometimes I imagine Gray sitting in this cell with me. Giving me an understanding smile from across the room. Never saying a word like always.


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    Right now, I imagine that I am at home. My (brother) Family is there. We are eating pancakes and bacon, about to go to church.


    While I imagine this, I block out everything, so when the soldiers busted my door down, I didn''t react until they threw me onto the floor.


    I didn''t know what was happening for two seconds, then I realized that they were probably here to kill me. The idea was the truth until proved otherwise when one of the soldiers spoke. He said, "Hey! We are supposed to bring her in one piece! Now pick her up and carry her to Allen!" They aren''t killing me. Maybe they are taking me to Allen so that he can kill me?


    Before I can get too lost in thought, I get drowsy from the loss of blood. I didn''t realize my head got busted, and now that I am being lifted off the floor leaving the only four walls that I have known these past four years, I notice the excruciating pain coming from my head.


    My head rolls back and forth as I fight to stay awake, but in the end, I just fall asleep.


    I dream. I usually don''t, but today I did. I dreamed I was a bird soaring through the sky, enjoying all the freedom I have gotten, but then a hunter tries to shoot me down. I soar higher and higher to get to a place where he can''t see me, but I fly too high. My feathers begin to burn, and I catch fire. I fall. I fall so long that I am not even sure if the ground exists until I land.


    I land right at the hunters'' feet, and he picks me up and takes me to his home where he proceeds to cook and eat me.


    I awaken. When I awake, I feel like dying. My head is in so much pain that I feel it will never end.


    I look around and notice that I am in a nicely furnished bedroom. Too nice. I am lying on a comfortably made bed. Too comfortable.


    This room I am in is nothing more than a bedroom fit for a princess. I don''t trust it.

 Chapter 3

    They watch me. I can feel the cameras staring at me. I feel uncomfortable and unsettled at the fact that I am being watched, but I know why.


    They know what I am capable of. They are watching to see if I try something. Waiting to see how I will react.


    It has been three days since I woke up. Three days of luxury spent entirely alone. Three days of sensing cameras.


    Today, however, is different. Today they didn''t give me breakfast. Today a strange doctor looking man walked into my room.


    He had a clipboard. I then started to remember how many people with clipboards I have seen in my life.


    He nodded, took off his glasses, and he said, "I am sorry for the inconvenience. We Have tried to make you as comfortable as possible. How is your head?"


    I looked at him in a way to try and ask, ''what do you think kind sure in a lab coat.'' I opened my mouth to speak, but it had seemed that four years in solitary confinement can really do a number on you.


    He nodded as to acknowledge that I couldn''t speak. I kept trying though and eventually was able to stutter out, " It hurts..."


    He walked over to my side and took a look at my head. "Yeah, it looks like it got busted pretty bad. You got stitched up and everything when you got here. They weren''t supposed to hurt you in any way. Jenkins got ...... Anyway, Allen wants to see you. Are you ready?" He asked. I nodded and got out of bed.


    I was in the same itchy outfit that I came with. The doctor shook his head. "You''d better get something else to wear. Here, I will pick you something out." He said disapprovingly. He made his way towards the closet.


    When he came back towards me, I didn''t know what to do. I wanted to scream because it was so short, I wanted to cry because it was so beautiful.


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    It was a navy blue dress that went up to about mid-thigh. It did this cute thing where it made a choker out of the sleeves and, it was just so, not me.


    In the end, I didn''t argue. I put the dress on with no complaints because that is the best way to get through the worst. It made me feel uncomfortable. It was too short for my taste.


    The doctor led me to Allen''s office. We stopped outside of a large door that was Beautiful in all the possible ways it could be. It was gold with a Victorian age Ornate carving on the edges around the frame.


    The door opened, and the room inside was just as gorgeous as the door. The room had sculptures from the Renaissance everywhere. Original Devinci paintings hung on the wall. It was gorgeous. But then I look in the center of the room and realize, nothing could be any more beautiful than the boy in the middle of this room.


    He didn''t speak. And I looked into his eyes and noticed how familiar they look. Those blue eyes, that dark brown hair, it hit me then. This is the boy from my past. The boy I loved not because of the way he looked, or the way he made me laugh, but because of his kindness. And now he stands here, in front of me, as a leader of a country that is falling apart.


    I find my words, and I speak, asking, "Gray...?" I whispered so lightly that I almost thought he didn''t hear me. He looked at me in shock, then he ordered his guards to leave us.


    "How do you know my name?" He asked me after his men walked out and closed the door. I stared, wondering how he didn''t know the answer to that. Then I wondered what I looked like now.


    Have I truly become the monster people said I was?


    I answered him, calmly, "How do you not remember me?" My voice is hoarse, but I know he can understand me. He walks closer to me. He repeats his question, "How do you know my name?" He asked it more aggressively this time.


    I brace myself because I fear he might hit me. I think he noticed it and backed away. I answered, "We went to school together. I was the girl you sat by the fence with. The girl that was treated like a monster. You''re the boy without the voice. The boy that never spoke. The boy who smiled and sat alone." I said this quietly, and I think I might''ve cried a little. We are silent a while.


    "Do you know why I brought you here?" He asked. He was all business now. All emotion and shock wiped from his face. I shook my head no, although I did have some ideas of why.


    He nodded and started pacing. "I brought you here to train you as a weapon. You would be useful as a threat to submission." He said. I thought about that reality for a few seconds, then I shook my head. No, I thought, No. I started crying. I didn''t want to become the monster everyone thought I was. I screamed. I cried. Then there were hands holding me down. I wanted them to let go. They flew off and into a wall. I did that. I made them do that. I fainted

 Chapter 4

    My dreams are fueled with rage. Rage I didn''t even know I was capable of.


    When I wake up, I find myself strapped to a bed. There are objects flying around me, and the doctors are frightened. I am frightened of myself. I didn''t know what I was capable of. Everything drops.


    I look down at myself and unstrap myself just by thinking it. Then the soldiers came in and tried holding me down again. They fly backwards. I walk out of that room with a pissy attitude. I storm through the halls trashing anything in my way.


    I am the queen of destruction, and nothing can stop me. Soldiers start storming down the hall towards me. They are thrown back easily.


    I go straight to Allen''s office. I break the beautifully ornate door down. He looks at me with no fear.


    "Love, it would seem the emotion you have for me will keep me safe." He said with a cocky smile. I slammed him into his own desk.


    The look of pain in his eyes excited me. I stretched my hand out and made a crushing movement with it. I shattered his left leg. He screamed in agony, and I enjoyed it.


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    I enjoyed the screams of pain. I enjoyed hearing his cries for help. No one is going to help him. They are too scared to try to get through me.


    I remembered my brother, and I stopped.


    ~flashback~


    The wind is whirling around me. I feel power and rage. He hurt me. My baby brother hurt me deep, and I want him dead. He thought it''d be funny to start rumors about his big sister. He thought it wouldn''t hurt to slut-shame someone who still has her virtue.


    I killed him. I killed him, and I didn''t care. I crushed with my mind making the motions with my hands, and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed his screams of agony. I loved him crying for help. Then I realized what I had done, and I hated myself.


    ~end of flashback~


    I fell to my knees, mumbling incoherently. I didn''t even understand what I was saying. Most of it was apologies. Some of it was towards my brother; some towards myself.


    Then I start hearing voices over mine. Some saying I am mentally and emotionally unstable, others saying I was a threat to society. Then I hear Gray, saying I am just lonely and broken.


    Look at me. I am dying, and no one cares. I feel arms hug me. "I remember now, Astrid," Gray whispers into my hair. He lifts me into his arms and carries me to my room. He limps while I cry the whole way to my room.


    He starts to hook up the straps, and I begin to jerk and dodge. He falls back away with fear in his eyes. Then he notices how horrified I look. "I don''t want to feel like an experiment again. I don''t want to feel trapped." I whisper. I plead with my eyes, tears falling down my face.


    He stumbles up, struggling with his left leg. He nods and stumbles out of my door.


    That was the last time I heard from him for the next week.


    It was back to being watched. Stuck in a room by myself with meals delivered through a slot in a door.


    I cried a lot during that week. I kept seeing my brothers face. Then seeing Grays. I couldn''t escape my past or my future.


    I thought about suicide quite a lot now, but I can''t die. I have already tried.


    I tried to get a meeting with Gray to apologize. The guards don''t trust me anymore. They won''t let me see him.


    I miss him......

 Chapter 5

    They opened the door. They opened the door and led me to the reestablished ornate door that leads to Grays office. They treated me kindly because they were scared.


    They opened the door and walked me in. He dismissed them, and they looked at him like he was crazy. "Sir, she is dangerously hostile are you su-" One of the soldiers were trying to warn Gray of a mistake he is most likely going to make by asking to be left alone with me.


    Gray shot him and didn''t even flinch while he did it. There is blood splattered on my face. I go to touch my cheek, but my hand is blocked by a servant rushing to get it off my skin.


    I am confused because I had never seen someone get shot. He is just lying there dead. I watch as the other soldiers leave the soldier lying there in a puddle of his own blood.


    I can''t speak. How can someone die so quickly? So easy. I don''t even realize that my legs have moved me towards Gray. I go to grab his gun, and he pulls his arm away. "What are you doing?" He asks in surprise. I wanted to see if it could kill me, is what I wanted to say. Instead, I answered with, "I wanted to hold it. I have never held a gun before." I smiled and walked backwards.


    I turn and walk back to where I was standing. The servant lady finished cleaning the blood that had splattered on my face and dress.


    I devised a plan to steal it from him. I stole this notebook, I can steal a gun.


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    He put his gun up and motioned towards me to come closer. I walked towards him. I stopped two feet away from him. He stepped a foot closer. I was very aware of the distance between us. One foot of space between us.


    My heartbeat started to go faster. I thought I was going to have a heart attack.


    My breathing was quicker. I didn''t understand what these symptoms were. I had never experienced this before.


    Everything was hot, and I felt light-headed. Dizzy. Everything was spinning.


    He grabbed me before I was on the floor. He looked concerned. Was I the only one experiencing this. Were my feelings onesided?


    He was saying something. I couldn''t hear over my heartbeat. I look up and see him screaming at me. I read his lips that say "Astrid! are you okay?!"


    I nod. He looks at me like I am crazy. What did I do? Then I understood. He asked a Rhetorical question. He knows I am not okay. I said the wrong answer, and now he thinks I am crazy.


    I think I said I''m sorry. I think I cried. I think I did all the things I have mentioned, but it is all a blur.


    I fainted at one point. When I awoke, the windows were black. I assumed that meant it was night time.


    I was on Grays office floor. Gray was sitting at his desk writing.


    I sit up and look at him. He doesn''t seem to notice that I am awake. I look beside him and notice he set his gun on the shelf beside him.


    I look at him and see him still writing. I take this time to try and conjure my powers to retrieve the gun from the shelf.


    I get it to float up and towards me, and then it is in front of me.


    I take the gun in my hands and aim it towards the side of my head. Gray looks up and sees this. He is yelling my name. I ignore him and pull the trigger.

 Chapter 6

    I see white. The brightest white I have ever seen in my whole life. For a moment, I believe I am actually dead. Then I see a face. I thought it was my brother at first, but then it clears and I see Gray.


    I hoped that I would have died. I hoped I wouldn''t have to see the pity in someone''s eyes again.


    None of my hopes has come to life lately, and therefore, I don''t care anymore. I am now a hopeless, careless person.


    I am destruction. I am devastation. I am nothing more than a disaster, and I can''t even save the world from myself.


    Gray is saying my name. He''s pleading. He thinks I am dead. He doesn''t know I can''t die.


    He is crying now. I am trying to move my arms to put a hand on his shoulder, but I can''t move.


    My eyes are open, but my body is paralyzed. I open my mouth to speak. Nothing comes out.


    Gray knows my eyes are open. He saw them open. He looked me right in the eyes; how could he not know I am alive?


    Then I remember. When I try to sleep and close my eyes, I see everything. It''s like my eyes never closed.


    My eyes aren''t open. They are closed, but I can see as clear as day.


    I can hear my heartbeat. It has started up again. I hear the heart monitor start beeping again.


    I see Gray shocked. His face is priceless with all the surprise embedded in his features.


    I twitch my fingers and toes to see if I can move yet. I am no longer paralyzed.


    I speak. My words are soft as I say, "I honestly thought that one would be the one to do it." I sit up on the bed I am on.


    I feel depressed. I feel like when someone makes you a promise and they break it.


    Gray looks at me with the eyes of someone who has seen a ghost. I guess in a way he has.


    I look at him and shyly whisper, "I should probably explain..." I look away, ashamed of myself. I am disappointed in everything I do. If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    He looks at me like I just said something stupid. "Ya think?" He exasperatedly asked.


    I nod. "Right... so in addition to being super destructive with strange powers, I am also immortal. I thought that if a gun could kill that soldier as quickly as it did, that I could die too. But as you can see, I am still alive." I explained this to him as his face changed from shocked to confused, and back to shocked.


    "I saw you cry. I saw you cry over me. You still care about me like you did back in grade school." I told him. He was surprised.


    "How did you know I was crying? You were dead while I was crying." He asked in surprise.


    I told him how even when my eyes are closed, I can see through them. I told him how I came back to life after I was conscious. I told him how my body was paralyzed, but I was aware.


    I explained everything to him. He was confused. He didn''t understand how I could do all this while being dead. He didn''t understand how I could keep this from him.


    Eventually, he got up and led me to my room. I stayed in my room for the rest of the day. I spent the rest of my day looking out my window. I spent the rest of the day longing to go outside, to breathe fresh air for the first time in four years.


    The next day I am let out of my room. Gray wanted to see me. They led me to the beautiful door again for the 15th thousandth time since I have been here.


    They opened the door. Gray is there at his desk. He is in a tux. I have never seen Gray in a tux. Usually, he is in a uniform¡ªno black and white suit with a tie.


    I assume Gray sees the confusion on my face because he tells his guards to leave so he can explain. They walked out the door with no warnings or complaints this time.


    I question him with my eyes. He nods. "We are going to dinner." I motion for him to go on. He continues, "My father is coming, and I want him to be impressed by you. I want you to show off. I realize that you aren''t proud of your ability. I need you to carry pride in your power." I am angry, but I swallow my words back to let him continue.


    "What makes you hate your power. What did you do. Back at school, we heard the rumours that you killed your brother, is that true?" The question at the end killed me.


    I look around me and see stuff rattling with my pulses of adrenaline and emotions. Gray is trying to keep me calm before I blow up. I take a deep breath. I tell him about my brother. I remember crying at one point. I told him it was an accident.


    His arms wrapped around my body as I heave sobs into his chest. He is telling me he is sorry. He is telling me he understands. He is telling me he loves me.


    I stop crying. Gray loves me. He told me he loved me. He kisses my forehead and lets go of me, and I just stand there in shock.


    I smiled at him and asked, "Do you mean it?" He smiled back and nodded. "I always have," he said, "Ever since I saw you by yourself by the fence," He said.


    He had me. I was lost in his words. I will do anything for him at this point. I tell him I will show off for his father. I tell him I will work for him.


    He looks like he just got a new toy for Christmas. His smile is so big like he accomplished something.


    Little did I know, he had accomplished something.

 Chapter 7

    That night, I put on a show. I watched his father. His father was horribly impressed. He kept looking at me like he wanted to eat me or something.


    After my performance, Gray and I ate dinner with his father. I was wearing the most expensive fabric I have ever seen. The dress was also the skimpiest thing I had ever worn. It was a grey-purple looking color and looked like a tiger shredded the back of it.


    I started to feel uncomfortable during dinner. Grays father kept staring at me. I nervously crossed my arms to cover up at least a little.


    I leaned towards Gray and whispered in his ear, "I''m cold." He shrugged off his tux jacket and draped it over my soldier. His father chuckled and boasted, "Look at my son, being a gentleman. I am proud of you."


    Gray was happy, so happy he forgot about me. I thought he loved me, but he was too busy basking in the pride that radiated from his father.


    "Why the long face, love?" Gray asked. He was clearly telling me to smile. He wants me to be his war weapon. He wants me to be his toy where he tells me when to smile, when to attack, when to show off.


    I smile and tell him, "It''s nothing. I was just thinking..." He nodded, taking that reply as acceptable. I smiled the rest of the night, planning to confront him about toying with me after dinner.


    When dinner was over, his father, which I found out his name is Callum, took me by the hand and behind a wall.


    I knew what was happening. I knew what he was thinking. He slipped his hand up my dress, and I kicked him. I kicked him as hard as I could, and I ran.


    I ran as far and fast as I could to Grays office. I think I yelled. I got cut off of my path by a soldier. I looked around and noticed I was surrounded.


    I screamed and pushed the air with my hands. The soldiers flew back and slammed into the walls. I started running again.


    I was just outside Grays door. I slammed it open and saw Gray being held at gunpoint by his own father.


    I bent Callums gun-wielding hand towards himself. I was just about to make him pull the trigger when Gray told me to stop.


    I pushed Callum back and walked towards him. I placed my hand on his forehead and put him in a deep sleep.


    I was exhausted. I couldn''t hear. Gray was saying something, but I couldn''t understand what was going on. Everything happened so fast, it was hard to understand.


    I need to pull myself together. I take several deep breathes. I close my eyes and imagine a calm place. When I open my eyes again, Gray is looking at me. My face is between his hands. His face is panicked.


    "I''m fine," I said a little too harshly. I push him off me. Gray tries to pull me back towards him. I start yelling at him.Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    "No! Don''t touch me. You don''t love me! You played my heart to manipulate me into doing what you wanted me to do!"


    I started crying, and I took Grays suit jacket and threw it at him. He stood there, speechless.


    I walked down the hall, crying. I went to my room and took a steaming shower. I sat down in the shower and cried.


    I kept thinking of Gray. How he held me after I broke his leg. How he cried over my dead but conscious body. How he told me he loved me.


    I cried until the water turned cold, and then I got out. I put my bathrobe on and crawled under the sheets of my bed. I had run out of tears to cry.


    I eventually fell asleep. I dreamed for the first time since my bird dream. I dreamed of Gray. He was saying he''s sorry. It felt so real when I touched him.


    He kept saying he "meant every word that he said". "Every ''I love you'' was not a lie."


    He grabbed my face, and I couldn''t believe how real it felt. He brought my face towards him like he was going to kiss me. He hesitated, wondering if he should.


    I felt every emotion he had for me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he placed his lips on mine.


    I woke up in a cold sweat. It was real. Gray was in my dream. Gray kissed my lips. Gray loves me.


    I got up, and I left my room. I went on a man-hunt for Gray.


    I found him on his way to my room. I accidentally walked into him, and he hugged me.


    "How were you in my dream?" I asked quietly. He held me tighter, then replied, "That is my ability. I am a dream walker. You might think you are the only one with a power, but you aren''t."


    I never thought there were others like me. It never crossed my mind, so I asked, "How?"


    He started to explain, "There was a nuclear fallout the year after your birth." I motioned for him to continue, so he did,


    "Your father was working at the plant that day. He was told that he was radiation-free, and he went home." He paused a moment before continuing, "He still had traces of Radiation, and it went to you gradually. That is what developed your power."


    I nodded, then I asked, "How did you get your power?" He replied and said, "I lived next door to the plant. My dad owned the plant."


    Then I looked up at him and ask, "Did you manipulate my emotions in my dream? Did you mean it?"


    It took him a moment, and I started to doubt myself. Then he answered, "Yes, I meant it. No, I didn''t manipulate any of your feelings; however, the other person can feel my true emotions when I dream walk in their dreams."


    I nodded and placed my forehead on his chest. I noticed how tall he was compared to me, and it made me feel insecure.


    He picked me up and carried me to my room. I breathed in his warmth. It felt so good to be so close to someone. All of this is so new to me, and I don''t really know how to react to these situations.


    Then I remember Grays father. I decided to ask what was done to him. "What did you do with your father?" My voice was so quiet. I could barely hear myself, but Gray heard me. He tensed up and answered with a grave voice, "He has been taken care of."


    When we got to my door, he opened it and walked in. He laid me on the bed and went to walk out. I stopped him, asking him to stay.


    That night was the most wonderful and comfortable night of my life. I laid my head on his chest and noticed that he was shirtless.


    I then was completely aware of my state of dress. I was in a see-through nightgown that barely covered anything. I felt incredibly underdressed.


    I ignored my insecurities. I wanted to enjoy this moment with the boy from my past. The boy that I have really only known for about two weeks.


    It feels like I''ve known him for years, and in a way, I guess we have.


    I fell asleep with him in my bed. I woke up with him gone.


    I decided to dress up for him today. I put on a pair of Daisy Duke shorts and a black tube top that said ''Queen'' on it. The boots were the best part of the outfit. They were black bootie combat boots, and I had to say so myself, they were sexy.


    I decided staying here might not be so bad, as long as Gray stays by my side.

 Chapter 8

    Today I asked to go outside. Today I got yelled at for wanting to go outside.


    I see now that Gray is very overprotective, to the point of which I am not allowed to go outside. I look out my window, imagining what it would be like to breathe in the fresh air. I haven''t been outside in 4 years.


    Since Grays father is now "taken care of", Gray has been busy with, oh you know, controlling the country. He has actually made some reforms. Creating a society in which everyone is equal. He has stuck with the promises his father made. Promises of freedom and equality.


    Unlike his father, though, Gray cares about the people. He cares what they have to say. He is 16 years old and is wiser than his 50-year-old father.


    Establishing the new government will be challenging, but Gray is willing to take the challenge. ''Make the switch in power before anyone notices'' is what he told me. I guess the shift in power would cause chaos if anyone knew about it.


    My relationship with Gray is complicated. He and I share a bed and kiss and hold hands, but he isn''t open with me like he should be.


    How is a relationship supposed to work if it is onesided? I guess I still don''t truly understand how romance works. I know Gray truly cares and loves me, but he isn''t honest.


    He is also too clingy. He won''t let me outside like I mentioned before. He also won''t let me wander the halls without a bodyguard.


    Hasn''t he seen what I can do? I can take care of myself. So I made up my mind. I am going to confront him about these issues that I am having complications with.


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    I get up out of my comfy bean bag chair and march towards Grays office. My assigned bodyguard immediately follows behind me.


    I go to his office door and hammer it with my hand. Eventually, Gray opens the door. I tell him how I feel. I explain that I want to go outside. I want fresh air. I tell him that I am not a fragile flower. I can take care of myself.


    He just looked at me, amused. He laughed when I finished talking. He told his guards to escort me back to my room.


    ''


    They dragged me to my room while I kicked and screamed. I momentarily forgot about my powers, but then I remembered. I made the guards let go of me, and I walked back to Grays office.


    When I got back, Gray laughed while sitting at his desk, doing whatever work he had to do. I looked at him while he looked up at me. I saw fear in his eyes.


    I walked up to him and sat on his desk. I face him, and I told him, "You do not control me. I am a power in myself, and you have no hold on me. You can''t keep me caged, so I will ask again before I run away to have freedom on the run. Can I go outside?" He looked at me and nodded.


    I walked to the exit. I took one look back, then I opened the door and walked out.


    It was awful. There was no green in this world. There were only grey and browns. It was so dusty. There was these compound like housing systems made of cargo boxes.


    I needed to help. I needed to fix this society. What could I do, though?


    There wasn''t anything I could do. I can''t fix a polluted world with no trees and no grass. I can''t fix the dust storms that come from the pollution.


    I knew things were bad, but I didn''t know they were this bad. I thought a couple trees had died, I didn''t realise the world was dying.


    I turned to go back inside and noticed that I had gone too far away from the base. I couldn''t see through the dust storm, and I didn''t know which way to go.


    My anxiety was getting the best of me. I was having a panic attack. I couldn''t breathe. The dust was in my lungs. I couldn''t breathe.


    My vision was going black. The last thing I saw was dust and a man in a black suit.

 Chapter 9

    I hear everything: the drive, the conversations, the feet. They had blindfolded me so I couldn''t see. The words were foggy, but I understood bits and pieces. They said something about Taking me to someone named Quinn.


    Are started to freak. My anxiety was getting the best of me. I assume my kidnappers noticed I was awake because they began to freak as well.


    My hands were bound, and I couldn''t breathe. I screamed. I screamed as loud and long as I could.


    My kidnappers tried to stop me. I could feel them trying to stop me. I swung with my feet. They forgot to tie my feet.


    I couldn''t scream anymore. My throat hurt, and I couldn''t breathe. I was crying and gasping.


    Where is the man you love when you need him?


    I then remembered I have powers. I use my abilities to burn through the ropes, and then I proceed to take off my blindfold.


    What I see is blood. When I was kicking, I didn''t realize what damage I had done. I am in a cave, and the walls are covered with blood. There are two bodies on the floor.


    I walk to the cave opening and notice the dust storm got worse, and it was dark outside. I turn back inside and see the suits they were wearing when they kidnapped me lying on a bench on the cave side.


    I walked to the cave wall and got a suit and put it on. It was super baggy, but it isn''t anything I can''t handle.


    I go outside the cave, into the dusty darkness of the world. I keep walking, trying to find my way back to the base. I can''t see that well even though the suit has night vision. It is too dusty to see.


    I keep walking and walking and walking. I eventually lose the light of the cave and start panicking again. I silently tell myself to calm down, and I keep walking.


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    I start seeing shadows moving past the dust. They look like deformed wolves. They are for starters ten times larger than a normal wolf. They make low growls and are frightening to see.


    I try to walk around the wolf-like creatures, but they sensed me somehow. I ran and ran and ran, but they were faster and stronger.


    They trampled over me and knocked me down. I sprawled out on the ground, the wind knocked out of my lungs. They snarled and circled around me.


    I screamed for help, even though I knew it was useless. The largest one, the Alpha I assumed, came and held me down with his paws. He drooled on my face and snarled in my face, baring his teeth. I think I cried a little.


    I started fighting back. I would not die like this. I will not be eaten alive. I slammed my fist into the Alpha''s chest, and I heard it crack as he flew back. The rest of the pack ran off.


    I got up and started walking again. I started thinking I was helpless. I was officially helpless.


    That was when I saw headlights. I thought it was perfect timing until I saw who it was.


    It was someone who was also in the same suit as I was. They took off their helmet and started asking if I was okay. I


    nodded. They were a girl. She had long black hair and piercing blue eyes. Her eyes were so blue that I could actually see them in the dark.


    She kept telling me to get on the four-wheeler. I started thinking of a plan. I knocked her out and took the four-wheeler.


    There seemed to be a built-in GPS device on the four-wheeler.


    That must have been how she found me. I used the GPS to the best of my ability, and eventually found my way to the base.


    I took off my helmet, and I went through the door, and everyone stared at me in shock.


    Gray was the first to approach me and say something. "Love, where were you?" He asked. He seemed so very worried, so I told him what had happened.


    I told him about how I was kidnapped, but I left out the fact that I killed two people. I told him about the wolf-like creatures that I was attacked by, and about the four-wheeler lady that thought I was one of her because of the suit.


    Gray told me who my kidnappers were. He said that they were part of the rebellion against his dads "republic". He said that the wolves were Dust Wolves. They had been genetically modified by radiation from the nuclear burst.


    After the whole "I was kidnapped interrogation" I went to my room and went to bed. I decided that being inside wasn''t that bad.

 Chapter 10

    That night, while I was on kidnap watch, Gray walked into my dreams. He gave me comfort and made me calm. I felt safe with him, but when I awoke, he wasn''t there.


    I felt worried as I got up and ready for the rest of the day.


    There weren''t any guards outside my door, which made me worry more. I took a shower and put on some black leggings and an oversized grey hoodie. Then I made my way to Grays office.


    It was empty. It looked like it was raided and I didn''t know where Gray was.


    I am filled with rage, and I storm out of the office and down the hall. I don''t know when I got to the door or felt the gun aimed at my back, but I know I am in a situation where I can quickly get out.


    I turn around slowly, with my hands up. I turn and face my threat. She was the same woman that I stole the four-wheeler. I bring my hands in front of me. I feel the power rush through my veins as I focus it on the woman. I pushed her back and threw the gun on the other side of the room.


    I ran outside, and I was surrounded by the dust storm. I spread my arms out and stop the storm. I stopped the storm, freezing the motion of the swirling dirt tornadoes.


    I see black suits and shocked looks. I see Gray. I rush towards him just as a person in a black suit pulls the trigger of a gun.


    They shot Gray. They shot the love of my life, and I scream. I scream and Cry and lash surges of energy in random directions.


    People are trying to calm me down, trying to grab me and stop me. I sling them away from me.


    I walk to Grays limp body, slinging the people who try to stop me away.


    I kneel beside him and grab his face between my hands. I bring my forehead down to his and cry. I beg for his life back, but I know it is useless. I tried this with my brother when I killed him. You can''t bring the dead back. The dead stays dead.


    I put my hand over his wound and focus my energy towards it. I may bring destruction and devastation, but I hope for healing. I keep telling myself that it is over. You can''t heal something dead, but I kept trying.


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    I kept holding him like that for hours it seemed until I finally gave up. I looked around at all the people aiming guns at me, planning my escape.


    I can''t explain what happened. I can''t tell them that it wasn''t Gray, it was his dad.


    I stand up and say as loudly as I can with the state I am in, "You killed the wrong person. It was his dad that was doing the wrong things. Instead, you killed the one trying to correct his father''s mistakes."


    I smile and use my abilities to force their guns down. "You can''t threaten me with death. I don''t die." I said with a small laugh. I think I have finally gone insane. I begin to laugh hysterically.


    I smile and laugh and cry, and my emotional response causes surges of power to go in random directions.


    I turn towards Gray and crawl towards him and lay by his side, crying. I don''t know what happened next, but it shocked even me.


    Gray moved out from under me, and I scurried away in shock. I start trying to find my words, but I can''t. My lover is alive, and I couldn''t believe it.


    Gray looks around like he didn''t understand what was going on.


    He looked at me in the state I was in. He tilted his head, in a motion that asked, ''What happened and what is happening?''


    He closed his eyes, and I felt a presence in my mind. He had used his powers to get in my mind so that he wouldn''t have to use his words.


    I nodded and gave him a recap of what happened, trying to block about the part where I lost my mind.


    He opened his eyes and looked around us. They dropped their weapons and started to leave, but then I saw a young child.


    She was about 12 years old and looked like she hadn''t slept in days. I then realized these people were like Gray and me. They had powers.


    I started yelling for them to stop, but Gray held me back. He had his hand over my mouth. I struggled against him, but it was to no avail.


    I couldn''t get him to let go unless I used my powers, and I didn''t want to hurt him. I stopped struggling.


    I turn to face him, and I grab him by his shoulders. I look him in the eyes and say, "There were children, and you just let them go. That little girl hasn''t slept in days."


    I hoped I looked fierce enough to change his mind, but he just looked at me with an amused smile. He looked like he could laugh. I scowled, which he returned with a smirk.


    "That little girl raised me from the dead," He said, "That is why she looked so tired."


    I was shocked, and Gray laughed at my reaction. Apparently, my facial expressions are comical.


    I sigh and walk in the direction that the Rebels went. Gray chases after me and grabs my hand. "Where are you going?" He frantically searches my face for an explanation-an answer, a reason.


    I respond by taking my hand back and resuming the dust storm.

 Chapter 11

    I walked for about 3 hours before I decided to stop the storm again. I used my powers to calm the roaring dust tornadoes and saw many people in rebel suits about 2 miles ahead.


    They looked like little specks, and I used my powers to speed up my pace. I knew that by doing this, I would be weakening myself even more than I already have, but I needed to catch up to them. I needed to thank them.


    I was nearly there when I tripped. They were about 50 feet away, and I tripped. I flew through the air for about 15 feet, and the Rebels turned towards me.


    They immediately pointed guns at me. I slowly get up off the ground and dust myself off. Then they noticed who I was and dropped their weapons.


    I look around for the little girl. "Where is she?" I ask. No one seemed to know who I was referring to, so to clarify I said, "The little girl. The one who can heal."


    A little blonde girl, about 12 years old, creeps out from behind a woman I assume is her mother.


    She slowly walks across the dusty earth with her head down. I look at her and see that she is starving. You could see


    the hollowness in her face and could only imagine how sunken in her stomach is.


    I kneel down to her height and hold out my hand. She tilts her head to the side in confusion.


    "Do you need assistance in healing?" She asked me in the most sophisticated language I had ever heard out of a 12-year-old.


    I almost laughed out of shock. I shook my head and said, "No. I just wanted to thank you, and I wanted to offer food and shelter."


    At the mention of food, She started to drool. I look around and notice that I have everyone''s attention. If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    "We don''t want to hurt you," I assured them, "We want peace with you. If you don''t want what we have to offer, don''t follow me."


    I turned and left when I finished with my short speech. I heard footsteps following behind me, but I wasn''t going to look back.


    Looking back could be a sign of weakness. I wasn''t going to let these people think of me as weak.


    About 15 minutes into walking, I felt the hand of a small child grab mine. I looked down and saw the sophisticated child that could heal.


    Calling her a little girl would be an insult. She spoke with the words of a college professor.


    I smiled at her and asked her what her name was. She smiled back and replied with, "Harris. Stephanie Harris. Please call me Steph."


    I nodded and told her my name. She smiled bigger and said most excitingly, "Astrid Robertson! I have heard stories of you. You are the most powerful out of us all," She rambled, "I figured it was you when I saw you break down when my dad shot your friend, but I didn''t know for sure." She continued to ramble, so I eventually just blocked her out.


    I was a legend, I realised. These people saw me as a legend, and I didn''t even know how they knew who I was. What all have they heard?


    Along the way, I heard people chattering about whether or not I was telling the truth, but I just ignored it.


    Then I heard a name that I recalled for some reason. Quinn. Where had I heard that name before? I stopped as the answer hit me. I heard shock and confusion through the crowd of people who have followed me.


    I turned around and asked, "Which one of you is Quinn?" Then I saw a man step forward. He was just as starved as everyone else, but looked more alive. More healthy. He had a long beard and appeared to have some Asian heritage. "I am Quinn." He said.


    I looked at him and realised he looked familiar. I looked down at Steph and noticed she had worry in her eyes. She seemed to care about this man for some reason. I decided to talk to him away from the crowd after we get back to base.


    I turned and continued back to base still holding Steph''s hand.


    I then saw that we had officially made it back to the base. The guards stopped us while holding guns aimed at us. Steph squeezed my hand out of fear.


    I put my hand up and used my powers to force the guns to aim the guns towards the ground. I smile and walk towards the guards asking, "Where. Is. Gray?" I sounded threatening, and I knew it. He was scared, and I saw it in his eyes.


    He mumbled out an answer, and I asked him, more aggressively this time, "Where is Gray?" He answered audibly with, "In his o-office."


    I motioned for them to follow me, and Steph found her way back to my hand. I led them to the entrance of the base. We entered, and I showed them to Grays office.


    I opened the door to see Gray working on his screen electric thingy. I say his name, and he immediately gets up and crosses the room to me.


    He hugs me, and I hug him back, letting go of Stephs small hand. "Can they stay?" I asked quietly in his ear, "They''re just like me, and I need people like me. Please." I was basically begging him at this point.


    He nodded his head. He let go of me and led them away to their rooms, I assumed.


    I stepped back onto the wall and slid down. I sat on the floor a while. I was physically exhausted and emotionally drained.


    My boyfriend died, then came back to life, I met people just like me, in a way, and I met an extremely educated 12-year-old girl.


    I just wanted to sleep, so sleep is what I did.

 Chapter 12

    When I awoke, I was in my room, my pajamas, my bed. I got up and decided to get dressed and ready for the day to come.


    When I got up and went to my closet, a skimpy dress was hanging on the handle of the closet door.


    It was a deep shade of black, low-cut, and had a laced up slit going up the thigh.


    At this point, I had given up on trying to argue these inappropriate dresses.


    I walked to the bathroom and put on the dress. It had a tight fit and showed off my curves that I didn''t know I had. I looked sexy, and I had never seen myself that way before.


    I walked out of my room and took a walk around base. I had never truly paid attention to the halls before. I didn''t even know what some hallways led to.


    I decided to go the opposite way of Grays'' office. I needed to know what else there is around here.


    I made my way down the unknown hall, taking in all my surroundings. The wallpaper was a beautiful shade of red, and it had a gold lining.


    Beautiful paintings were lining the walls, and I kept admiring them with an odd fascination.


    There was one painting that I took a liking to. It was a painting of a bird. A caged bird.


    It felt familiar to me. Like I had been the caged bird once, and I had.


    The chain of events that I had been through since being released from my personal prison felt unreal. The emotions from the rush of events that have led me here pushed me back with a force that caused the tears to come out before I could object.


    I stood there looking at the beautiful bird in the awful, hideous cage, while I cried silently.


    I didn''t realise that someone was beside me-consoling me until they started to gather a crowd. I tried to stop crying, but the tears refused to dry. They continued with no sign of stopping.


    I smelled Gray before I heard him. That stopped the tears, and I didn''t understand why. How can someone have the ability to control my tears when I can''t?


    He dried my tear-stained face with his sleeve, and I frowned. I needed to get myself out of this situation. I hated seeing the pity in his eyes. It made me feel weak.


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    I am not weak. I will never be weak. I refuse to fall under a spell of weakness again.


    I push my self through the crowd, trying to dodge the looks of pity. Several tried to grab me, but I was too fast to catch hold of. I used my powers to speed me up.


    I went back the way I came, but still wound up lost. My surroundings were different. They were clouded.


    The halls around me faded into a beautiful green field. It reminded me of my childhood.


    The field was so real, so wonderfully real, and for a moment, I thought I was back home- back at the farm with my family.


    Then it all faded, and I was back in bed. There was a doctor- the doctor from when I first got here.


    He hadn''t noticed I was awake yet, and I wondered if I was dead.


    I can''t be dead. I have a heartbeat, and therefore, I am not dead.


    I heard voices outside the door- I heard Gray. I got up and attempted to get to the door, but I was blocked by the doctor who told me to lay back down.


    I tried to push him out of the way, but it would seem that my abilities are numbed by something.


    I couldn''t feel the energy, and I was confused. This had never happened to me before.


    I again tried to push him out of my way, and he still didn''t budge.


    I then went to screaming Grays name. I needed out of here. I felt like a test subject- a prisoner.


    The doctor grabbed my shoulders and guided me back to the bed. I kicked and screamed. I didn''t want to feel like a guinea pig again.


    Gray walked in with a look a shock and worry. He came toward the doctor and said something. I couldn''t hear it over my sobs. The doctor let me go, and I collapsed on the floor, crying.


    Gray got down on the floor with me and wrapped his arms around my small form. I leaned into his chest, hugging him back.


    His scent was comforting to me, and it calmed me down. He gently caressed my hair, and the tears stopped.


    I felt pitiful, and I was. I was a mess sitting in a puddle of my own tears. I couldn''t do anything to save myself from the sympathy in Grays''s eyes.


    I don''t know when I gave up fighting the sleep that threatened, but my mind eventually slipped into darkness.


    When I woke up, I wasn''t in my room. I was in someone else''s bed. I didn''t trust this room.


    The bed I lay on is like a cloud. I could float on it forever, but I got out of it because it isn''t trustworthy. At least, not until I find out whos room this was.


    I stepped down off the solid heaven that was a bed and walked around the room. The carpet was soft and felt like feathers under my feet. The walls were an emerald green with swirls of turquoise embedded in it. The furniture was clearly made by hand, the craftsmanship made it seem beautiful in a way.


    I walked towards the window and looked out. I jumped back because of the sight that I saw. I was in someone else''s bedroom that was on the top floor. My anxiety started pumping, and I was panicking.


    I tried calming myself. I tried to walk away and ignore the height, but even as I made it to the other side of the room, my heart raced with fear anyway.


    I looked away, but I still had the panicky thoughts. What if I fall through? What if I die? I don''t stay dead but still. Will Gray cry over me again?


    That last question brought my mind back. This was probably Grays'' room. Surely he wouldn''t trust someone else''s room if it contained me?


    So I went to the door and opened it. It led to an elaborate hall full of gorgeous arrangements of flowers in vases. A look closer showed me that they were plastic, but they were still beautiful. Of course, plants don''t grow anymore. It is nothing but dust outside of these walls.


    The walls were black lined with gold and silver. I made my way down the hall, hoping that I would run into someone so I could ask for directions.


    I found a stairwell that was behind a locked door. It required a security card, and I don''t have one. I went to turn around and head back to the freakishly high bedroom when I ran into a guard.


    He wasn''t just any guard, though. He wore different uniforms than the ones I usually encountered. They mostly just wear all black, but this one wore green¡ªan ugly camo green.


    He asked me a question, but I didn''t quite understand. So I asked him politely, "what?" He replied and asked his question more agitated this time, "I asked ''are you lost?''" I nodded and then looked back towards the stairwell. He shook his head, saying, "Gray wants you to stay in his room until he comes back up here." Then he offered his hand to me. I placed my hand in his, and he escorted me back to Gray''s room.


    I would have asked him ''why'' or ''when'', but I held my tongue. If I spoke, I would get angry, and I don''t like being angry.


    When we got to Gray''s room, the guard asked if I needed anything. I shook my head to decline his offer of ''anything.''


    I went straight to Gray''s bed and curled into a ball. For the first time in my life, I slept without an interruption.

 Chapter 13

    I woke up with the warmth of another in Grays bed. He was sleeping faced in my direction. He looked innocent- so different from the son of a tyrant I had known. You can learn a lot about someone just by seeing them asleep.


    He looked soft- the kind of soft that you see in a boy, not a man. I looked at the plumpness of his lips, hearing his soothing breaths.


    His eyes fluttered open, and I suddenly felt embarrassed. My face flushed with heat, and I looked away. He took his hand and gently caressed my cheek, turning my face back towards him.


    I looked back at him, and he whispered something. I didn''t understand because I was entranced by his blue eyes. Stars danced in those eyes.


    I was floating on a cloud of heaven with the man I love laying down beside me. Nothing else mattered.


    He brought my face towards his and gently brushed his lips against mine before kissing me with a passion I had never felt before. I closed my eyes to enjoy this moment with him.


    It was just me and him and this bed with the white sheets and red comforter. This was all we needed.


    He pulled me on top of him with his hands on my hips. As I straddled him, I kissed him with all the passion I had in me.


    I broke from the kiss only to strip myself from my nightgown. I straddled him mostly naked, with only my underwear on. I felt like I should cover myself, but one look at Gray told me that he liked what he saw.


    I leaned back down to kiss him again, and he flipped me onto my back. He now was straddling me, taking his shirt off.


    He had such a toned chest, and I ran my hands over his abs.


    I needed him. I needed all of him, and I would have him. He leaned down and started kissing my neck. He left a trail of kisses down from my neck down to my bare chest.


    I bit my lip holding back a moan as I tugged at his shorts. He complied to my silent demand and broke the kiss.


    He stood over me, gorgeous and naked. I spread my legs as a silent invitation. A silent invitation that said, ''give me everything.''


    The rest of this is too private for me to write down in this entry, so I apologise if I already went too far.


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    After our wonderful moment together, we got dressed and went down for breakfast.


    I never went over to the window, and he never found out about my panic attack. He will never know about my fear of heights.


    I was still in a trance. I couldn''t concentrate. I was dazed from my first time.


    I couldn''t believe it was real. It felt too amazing to be real. I had a hard time eating because it was real.


    I felt guilty like I had done something wrong, but I know I didn''t. I felt dirty.


    I kept telling myself that there is no reason to feel that way. I told myself what I did was beautiful, but I kept hearing my old preachers voice. ''God looks down on sex without marriage.''


    I made excuses like, ''what good is marriage if the world is ending.'' I still couldn''t shake it off.


    Gray didn''t notice anything, so I kept pretending that everything was fine.


    Gray had my stuff moved to his room. Our room.


    I never told him I was scared of that room. I didn''t want him to pity me any more than he already did.


    I walked in an empty way around these halls until I ran into a familiar face. Stephanie. I ran into Steph.


    She started talking in her sophisticated way, and I just took in how innocent she looked. She was so young, but she seemed so old.


    Her eyes were hard like she had witnessed so much more than any little girl her age should. She was still innocent, though. The girl who saw more death than I has cleaner hands than I do.


    I had a short conversation with the vision of innocence in front of me, then walked away. I floated from happiness but sunk from guilt.


    By lunch, I had sunken into my self-guilt that I was sure that it showed on my face.


    Gray could tell, I saw the worry on his face. I never gave him an opening to ask me about it, though.


    I laughed when I was supposed to. I smiled because it was expected. I didn''t look at Gray because I didn''t want to see the worry- the pity.


    Gray ordered a private dinner for us that night. I tried to refuse, but he wouldn''t let me.


    I sat down at the table. I sat silently, and I never looked at Gray. I couldn''t bring myself to look him in the eye.


    I heard him get up and come on my side of the table. I was holding back my tears- shaking from holding back sobs.


    He placed his hand on my back and rubbed circles. That was when the tears started, but I held onto the sobs.


    put his hand on my chin and tried to turn my head to face him, but I pulled my head away and looked in the opposite direction.


    I would not look at him, because if I did the sobs would happen. He tried again, but I still wouldn''t let him.


    He was aggravated now, and in a gruff voice, he said, " Look. At. Me."


    I wouldn''t. I couldn''t let him see me cry again, especially after what we did this morning. I couldn''t let him feel guilty about it too.


    He grabbed my head out of irritation and turned me to face him. I cried. I let the tears fall, and I couldn''t stop them.


    The anger that Gray had in his face flashed to confusion and worry.


    He was asking me what was wrong, but I couldn''t answer him through my sobs. I cried out of guilt. I cried out of self-hate.


    He hugged me trying to calm me down, but I retracted into myself. I can''t hug him when he is the reason why I am guilty.


    I excused myself from the table and tried to walk away. I tried to get away from the source of my tears, but he wouldn''t let me go.


    He gripped my arm and pulled me around to face him. He held both my arms to my sides, begging me what was wrong.


    So I answered, and he didn''t like what I told him. "I am guilty. I feel unclean like I did something wrong." He tried telling me that what we did wasn''t wrong. What we did was great, but again I had to explain, "Then if you love me that much, where is my ring."


    He looked at me in confusion. "Where is my promise?" I asked in frustration. "This world is full of broken promises, and I want proof that this isn''t another." I continued with a shaky, quiet voice.


    Then he kissed me, and I tried to pull away, but he held me tight. I couldn''t move, and I couldn''t breathe.


    When we parted, he whispered in my ear in a low voice, "If a ring is what you want, a ring is what you will get." And he walked away.


    He left me standing in the private dining hall, breathless. I felt a smile make itself known on my face.


    I made my way back to Grays room and got dressed in my nightgown. I fell asleep.

 Chapter 14

    Today was new. Today was different. Today was wonderful.


    When I woke up, Gray was gone. There was a dress lying on the foot of the bed. It was the most modest dress that I had been offered since being here.


    It was purple and went down to my knees. It had ''off the shoulder'' sleeves and was lacy and frilly. I loved it.


    I went to the bathroom and put it on. It was a perfect fit. It fit loosely on me around the hips, but other than that it was perfect. I went back into the room and headed for the door.


    On the door was a sign that said, ''follow the rose petals.'' I thought to myself, ''could he be any more cheezy than that?''


    Nevertheless, I opened the door and followed the rose petals.


    They led down the hall and to the door to the staircase. The security code was on the door. ''01-26-28''. I typed it in and opened it. I made a note to myself to remember that.


    I continued down the stairs, following the rose petals. They led down to the first floor. I opened the door to the first floor and stepped out into the hallway. The petals led to the hall down to the right- passed my old bedroom.


    I obediently followed the petals that stopped at the end of the hall. It ended at a three-way intersection, which allowed me to continue behind me, to the left, or the right.


    I looked to my right and saw nothing but darkness. I looked to the left, and there he stood. The love of my life standing to my left in a nice tux.


    He got down on one knee, and my heart stopped. I was light-headed all of a sudden. I couldn''t breathe.


    I should have expected this because of yesterday. I had basically begged him for this, but I didn''t know how heart-stoppingly beautiful it would be.


    I stepped towards him, and he brought out the ring. It was gorgeous. It was gold with a diamond baguette pattern, and I loved it.


    I nodded, but I knew that wasn''t enough. I couldn''t find my words, so nodding was all I could manage.


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    He slipped the ring onto my left hand, and that sealed the promise. The first promise I have believed in since I was sent to the asylum.


    I didn''t notice when he stood up. I was distracted by the flush of memories.


    I didn''t notice when he hugged me until he kissed me. The flashbacks went away during that kiss.


    They went away because he distracted me. His scent, his breathes, his everything, distracted me.


    It was a relief that I could be distracted so easily because if I couldn''t, I would''ve already been crying.


    I hate crying. Crying takes too much energy, and if I use up my strength, I won''t be able to use my powers.


    I thought about all this while he kissed me with a heated passion. I kissed him back with equal hunger.


    The tension was too much for the public, so I was thoroughly shocked when I heard applause.


    I reluctantly broke apart from the kiss and looked in the direction that the applause was coming from.


    The rebels were clapping excessively, and heat flushed my entire face.


    I froze. I didn''t know why they were clapping and cheering. I didn''t know why everything was foggy.


    Everything was Gray. I was Gray. Gray. He was dream walking-it''s all a dream.


    All of the beautiful notes and rose petals-even the kiss- was all a dream.


    Everything disappeared except for Gray and me. It faded from the hallway to blank white walls.


    Gray walks forward and I back away. I was angry at him. He promised me something so important and treated it as a game.


    I couldn''t look at him. I was furious. He did something so cruel and now wanted to comfort me.


    How dare he. How dare he think that I would be okay with this manipulation of my dreams.


    I am hurt, offended, angry. I am frustrated, agitated, and all the ated.


    He used my dreams to create the perfect proposal. He used my dreams to make a promise.


    It was all a lie. He lied to me, and now he is saying my name. He is begging me to calm down, but I can''t. He lied, and he knew it was wrong.


    I swung at him as he tried to come closer. I cried out for him to wake me up.


    I couldn''t stand him anymore. I hated him for this betrayal. I hated him for this manipulation of my heart.


    I woke up with sweat dripping in places where sweat shouldn''t be. I was breathing heavily, my pulse was racing.


    Objects were floating around me, and Gray was beside me-sleeping.


    I scurried out of bed, away from him. I was fuming with rage. I knew that I needed to calm down. I knew that right now was the time to calm down because I would hurt someone or break something if I didn''t.


    I didn''t want another death on my hands. There was enough blood on my hands as it is.


    I couldn''t cool off. I was too angry, and the fact that Gray was right there, still sleeping, did not help the fact.


    Then he woke up and the fear in his eyes showed that I was genuinely scary. I calmed because of the fear on his face.


    I was confused because I had never felt like this before.


    I was furious, and then the fear that I saw in someone else''s eyes scared me so much that I calmed.


    I was scared of myself. I had all this rage, and it scared me. I could turn into a monster fueled with anger, and I wouldn''t even recognise myself.


    The objects around me dropped to the floor. I fell down with them. I know what I said about crying, but I needed to cry out my anger.


    Gray was coming over to me. He got off the bed and bent down in front of me.


    He brushed my hair out of my face, and I flinched away. He grabbed my face between his hands and made me look at him.


    I reluctantly opened my eyes, and he apologised. He apologised and kissed me.


    I tried to push him away. I was angry at myself. I didn''t deserve the feel of his lips on mine. I didn''t deserve him in general.


    It is moments like these that make me wish I was back in my cell, back in the asylum by myself dreaming of my fantasy worlds.


    I wish I was still sitting on my bed in my cell without the windows. I wish I was still going slowly insane in that place.


    I want to be alone by myself without Gray.


    I think this to myself as I fall asleep in his arms.

 Chapter 15

    It''s been hours, days, months. I don''t know how long I''ve been locked in this room.


    I asked him to lock me away and throw away the key. I asked him to forget about me. I asked him to leave me alone.


    He did the first thing, but he can''t forget me. He still visits and talks with me. Even though I don''t want to be around him anymore, I still love him.


    I will always love him. It doesn''t matter what I say and what he does, I will always love him.


    I just don''t want to hurt him, so it is just me writing in my journal, surrounded by these padded walls.


    I get three meals a day. I get one shower a day. I am surrounded by four padded cell walls all hours of every day.


    My room consists of nothing but a bed. The bed is bolted in the center of the room to prevent people from throwing it around and hurting themselves.


    Bright lights come from somewhere behind the padding, and I wonder if I made the right choice in being here.


    I can''t help but think about Gray. He visits me in my dreams sometimes. I scold him for visiting me at all when I politely asked him to leave me alone.


    I find myself thinking about mom dad and my brother. I can''t help but wonder what happened to my mom and dad. What have they been up to since I was sent away?


    I thought about asking Gray if he could find out but decided that would only make him want to visit more. What a funny thing; nearly every thought my mind conjures up brings him back to me.


    It is hard to sleep when you''re alone. I thought it would be easy to get back in the routine of being locked away- eat, shower, think, sleep- but I got so used to having Gray in the same bed as me.


    I sat on the bed, facing away from the door. I was meditating accompanied only by my powers. I was in a state of partial consciousness, floating upon the clouds of my mind when Gray decided it was a good day to pop into my head.


    This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    I opened my mind''s eye and saw him looking at me with surprise. "I didn''t expect you to be asleep right now." I was radiating with frustration, so I corrected him, "I am meditating through my energy."


    He nodded and prodded around in my mind. I felt violated, and I had to say something to get my point across, so I screamed at him, "Get out! I have asked nicely over and over again, and you haven''t even tried to ignore me! Leave Me Alone!"


    Then he disappeared. He evaporated into the darkness of my mind, and when I opened my eyes, I was still alone in my padded cell. I was still sitting on my bed, and I lied down and cried my anger and grief out.


    I eventually went to sleep while I was crying. I was so frustrated that I pushed him away. I never wanted to make Gray go away. I just wanted to be left alone.


    I slept for such a long time. I don''t know how long but I woke up exhausted from oversleeping. I was still surrounded by my padded walls except now I had a desk. It was in the corner bolted to the floor. It came with a chair- a spinny chair. I was bouncing in excitement, but then I realized that it was stupid and pointless that I was excited about a desk and chair.


    I have never had any luxury other than that I received from Gray''s hospitality. It was so sweet to give me the things I never had, even if they were very revealing dresses.


    I hated showing off my body like that, but he had me do it to show off the danger of me. That was the point. To show off my skin was to show off every inch of me that could hurt someone.


    I didn''t have to threaten anyone anymore. Not when I am locked away. As long as I am in this room, I am not a threat. I can''t hurt anyone while I am here.


    I still don''t know how long I have been in this lonely cell, and the day-long nap didn''t help. Of course, I am not aware of how long that nap actually was.


    I started staring at the walls-just like what I used to do at the asylum. I stare and count the squares in the padding.


    Gray no longer visits, and I am glad he finally respects my wishes; however, it is kinda lonely.


    I constantly think about him. The way he smells. The way he looks. The way his skin feels against mine.


    I needed to push those thoughts away. They make me weak, and I can''t be weak. I have to be strong. I have to show that I am still strong because I am a black woman who has unnatural abilities.


    I still miss him though, and no matter how hard I try, he is always on my mind.


    I shouldn''t have pushed him away like that, and he didn''t show up again that night. Or the night after that.


    I didn''t see him again after that for a long while.

 Chapter 16

    It has been a while. Of course, I don''t know how long, but it has been a while. Gray hasn''t come to visit ever since I told him to leave me alone.


    I worry I have pushed him too far away. I worry I may never see him again. I fear something happened.


    I have tried reaching out to him, hoping he could hear, but it isn''t my ability. I am not telepathic.


    I started screaming like I used to. I cried out of agony. I started seeing things and screamed out of fear.


    I was hallucinating. I was paranoid. I was delusional. I was going crazy.


    The guards yelled at me for being loud. They said that they would kill me if I didn''t be quiet. To which I replied,


    "You can''t kill me because your boss loves me."


    They never yelled at me again, But I still screamed his name- he never came.


    I screamed for someone- anyone. No one came. I was lost in my own world with three meals a day, four padded walls, one bed, one desk, and one spinny chair.


    I was slowly going insane. I was by myself and had nothing to do except write in this journal. I haven''t written in a while, which is probably why I am going crazy.


    Like I had written awhile ago, I am writing to keep myself sane, but I obviously failed.


    I started seeing images of my dead brother. I was crying and screaming, and I couldn''t help myself. I tried to peel the skin off my face in grief and distress. I tried to gouge my eyes out so I wouldn''t see. I couldn''t see him while I was in this situation. I wouldn''t be able to handle it.


    Seeing him while in this room would remind me why I am in here. I am here to protect people from myself.


    There was blood. Everywhere, blood everywhere. It was on my hands, on my face. I was bleeding.


    I heard doors opening, unlocking. Someone was saying my name, but I couldn''t hear them over the pounding in my eardrums. I couldn''t control this situation, and I was scared. I have always feared losing control of myself and other things, and I can''t handle it.


    I was shocked because of what I had done to myself. I had my own blood on my hands. I harmed myself. I locked myself away to protect people from myself, but I should be protecting me from myself as well.Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.


    I was going in and out of consciousness, not because I lost too much blood, but because I was overwhelmed.


    I was overwhelmed with my own emotions and the questioning people around me. I wanted them to go away. I wanted to deal with my feelings alone.


    I wanted Gray. I needed him with me. I needed him so I could cry on his shoulder.


    Gray wouldn''t suppress my feelings with his own questions. He would listen to me, not talk over me.


    So I called out for Gray. I screamed his name over the voices. I called out for him, and he never came.


    I screamed until I couldn''t anymore. I couldn''t breathe. I had a migraine, and I was dizzy. I couldn''t see anymore.


    Everything was black, and someone was trying to get me to drink water. I pushed it away with all the strength I had left, but eventually, I blacked out.


    When I awoke, I was back in my cell. I tried to get up, but I was strapped to the bed. I looked around and noticed the took out my desk and chair.


    I started to panic because I was bound. I hated being tied down. It reminded me of a time when I was an experiment. I broke the straps and got up.


    Then I heard a noise from behind the door. It sounded like someone cocked a gun. Then I heard a voice coming from somewhere in the room.


    "Please remain in your bed. You are on suicide watch because of your breakdown from yesterday," The intercom voice said.


    I thought to myself, ''How stupid are they to think I could actually kill myself?''


    I flipped off the room and screamed for them to let me out. I wanted out now. I needed Gray, so I threatened to break down the door if they didn''t open it willingly.


    They made no move to open it, so I busted it down with my mind. Behind the door was a soldier-a higher up soldier. The ones that wear Green instead of Black.


    He was armed with a gun but hesitated long enough for me to aim the gun away from my direction. I walked around him in an attempt to find my way to Gray.


    Every door I found that was locked, I broke down. Every Guard that I walked into, I disarmed. I was on a mission to find my love and to save myself from insanity.


    They would never truly understand my need because they don''t have access to my thoughts. They don''t understand my feelings.


    They never will, and the only way to save me from insanity is to find Gray.


    I never thought I would depend on a man like this. I never needed one before, but when I am near him, I feel this heat. A heat that resonates between both of us.


    I have never believed in love before. I mean, I believed in it, but I always thought of it as something that happens due to a brain''s chemical reaction. Now that I have Gray, my views have slightly changed.


    I realized then that when I was at the asylum, I had a perfect opportunity to break down those doors and save myself from insanity. I never had a motive to break out; Now I do.


    Gray was my motivation to live, and I would not stop until I found him.


    I travelled up some stairs and found another door with a keypad. The adrenaline was rushing through, and I busted the door down without another thought.


    Then I saw him. He was standing on the other side of the door, and I walked towards him. I blinked, and he was gone. In his place was Quinn.


    I rushed to get away from him and to the real Gray, but my surroundings changed. All around me was my dad''s farm.


    My brother was climbing a tree, and that was when I realized what was happening.


    Quinn was manipulating me. He was purposely slowing me down, keeping me away from Gray.


    I shoved his presence out of my mind. I used my desperateness to push him out of my thoughts. He had no right to violate my mind like that.


    I successfully removed his presence from my thought process, and my dream disappeared. I slung Quinn against the walls, shoving my energy into him, but I heard him.


    I heard Gray, and I needed to stop, but what if Quinn was playing with my mind again.


    I kept drowning Quinn with my powers, but even when I stopped, and Quinn was unconscious, I still heard Gray. I saw him when I turned around, but I didn''t believe it.


    I grabbed my head and screamed, "Get out of my head!" I was crazy. I had officially been taken over and consumed by my abilities. I am insane.


    Then I felt him, smelled him, heard him. He felt real, and suddenly, I felt calm. I felt sane. I felt real.


    Then it all turned black and cold.

 Chapter 17

    I felt him. I could smell him. He was the air that I breathed. My mind was him, and he was mine. My thoughts melted into him as we became one. Then it all faded away as I became conscious.


    I was in Grays room, in his bed. I smiled and then suddenly frowned. I thought to myself that I could''ve killed Quinn, which would''ve broken Steph''s heart because they were so close.


    I don''t know when I started crying, but I didn''t care at the time. I needed to express my emotion. I screamed in my pillow until I was out of breath.


    Then he walked out of the bathroom in only a towel, and I noticed how perfectly built he was. I gasped a little, and he smiled at my astonishment.


    Embarrassed, I looked down and felt the heat flush my face. I noticed that I was wearing a sheer nightgown and nothing under it but my underwear. When I looked up, Gray was getting dressed.


    He dropped the towel, and I looked away quickly. I was flushed, and he knew it.


    He inched himself into bed with me, and I scooted away a little out of anxiousness. I hadn''t been this close to someone in a long time, and I was nervous. He had put joggers on before he got in bed with me, but he was still shirtless.


    It made me blush as he caressed my cheek. He pressed his lips gently against mine, and I jumped slightly. I leaned into it, enjoying our proximity.


    My eyes fluttered closed, but I was suddenly self-conscious as I realised how chapped my lips were. He didn''t seem to mind, though.


    When he pulled away from the kiss, reality settled in, and I remembered for the second time today what I had done. My eyes started crying, and I mentally screamed at them to stop. The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    I didn''t want to cry and ruin this moment with Gray. It was too perfect right now for me to cry, but I cried anyway.


    Gray held me while I repeated, "I''m sorry", over and over again. He told me it was okay. He said there was no need for me to cry. Then I asked the inevitable. "Did I kill him?" My voice was so quiet and childlike, I could barely hear myself.


    He shook his head and looked down. "No, you didn''t kill him. You just hurt him badly." I was relieved but not entirely. I still hurt an innocent person.


    He must''ve read my expression because he grabbed me by my chin and made me look up at him. His jaw-line looked very kissable right now, but I pushed those thoughts away. He looked me deep in my eyes and said softly, "It wasn''t your fault, not entirely. They should have let you out."


    He looked sympathetic, and I flushed out of embarrassment. I looked away. I must look pitiful to him.


    He grabbed me by my face and kissed me passionately. I was scared of what might happen, but I gave in to it anyway.


    We laid together afterwards, enjoying the presence of each other. I had my head on his chest and noticed our breathing rate was the same. He played with my hair as I pretended to be asleep, and eventually, he got out of bed and left.


    It wasn''t long until I actually fell asleep, and I dreamed. I dreamed about a future with Gray. I dreamed of a house with a white picket fence. I dreamed of children. Then it all morphed into flames. My house burned to ash, and I looked around and realised Gray and my children weren''t around. They were in the house. I screamed for them. I raced into the collapsing structure and looked and searched for my husband. My children.


    Then it all went white. It was like I changed the channel, and now I was on the white noise station. I felt the familiar presence of a dream-walker dream and thought I would be seeing Gray. I was wrong.


    It was unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time, and I was fearful of who it was. I took in the surroundings around me and noticed it was my old farmhouse. Someone was trying to play a sick joke on me.


    Then I saw in my peripheral a person. I turned and thought I was going to hyperventilate¡ªI saw my brother.


    I was confused and shocked and all the emotions. I thought he was dead. I thought I killed him.


    "Come find me, big sis." I heard him speak in a tone I never imagined. Then it was gone. I woke up to a panicked Grey. He looked at me with relief and worry as he asked me what happened.


    I got up and grabbed a bag. I started to fill it up with clothes and necessities, all the while Grey kept trying to stop me.


    He grabbed me by my wrist and demanded me to tell him what was wrong. So I told him. I told him how my brother, whom I thought was dead, contacted me in a dream. He told me to come find him, so I am going to find him.


    Then I walked out the bedroom, down the long hall, and the stairs. I walked right out of that door with nothing holding me back, and I didn''t say goodbye. All I heard was Grey yelling my name, but I didn''t look back.

 Chapter 18

    I have no idea where I am going. I wasn''t given any instructions for this journey, just that I needed to find him. My brother called out to me. I don''t know why, but he did. Maybe it is for revenge. Perhaps, he needs help. Whatever it is, I will find him.


    I have been searching for days, calling off the dust storms and uncontrolled weather conditions. I have found wild animals and learned how to survive.


    I didn''t learn, though. I knew. It was a long lost memory that found its way to the front when I was desperate for heat and food.


    I made fire. I hunted the radioactive wolves. I ate possibly poisonous meat, but I am still alive. Searching this barren land for a brother, I barely know. For a brother, I thought I had killed.


    I keep going. Keep pushing on through this deserted land, unregulated terf.


    I can''t see, but I keep going. I am weak, my energy dying, but I keep going. I am half dead when I step onto a campsite that looks oddly military.


    I am starving, dehydrated. I can barely see 5 feet in front of me. I hear male voices, and then I am on all fours, throwing up.


    All I remember is the acid smell of my vomit. I think I blacked out after that from dehydration or maybe the fact that I was starving to death in the wilderness. I really didn''t think this search through.


    I am bound in a cell. Gagged and cuffed. I hear voices down the hall from my isolation. "She will be taken to the pit." One said. The other was disagreeing. The pit? Is this some Roman sacrifice crap? I thought to myself. Just then, someone


    came and opened my cell. He didn''t speak. He didn''t even so much as look at me. He wore gloves to protect himself from me. I realized then what this was. I was going to be executed for being black.


    I began to struggle, but he held on and dragged me aggressively out to the hallway. As we walked down the hall, I was spat on by the other inmates. I was cursed at. It was like they were trying to free themselves by proving they are loyal to this racist community.


    The cursing followed me to the end of the hall, a grand archway that led to something kind of like the gladiator pit. The man leading me pushed me forward into the sandy battlefield. I fell on my face, and the crowd made a loud booing noise.


    I lost my temper at that point. It had been building ever since I realized what was going to happen to me. I used my ability to break myself free from the cuffs on my wrist. The crowd was silent.


    I heard murmurs as I pulled the gag out of my mouth. People calling me a negro freak. Mutant. I turned behind me to see if my guard was still there. He ran from me. That was when they brought in my brother. He was bound like I was five minutes ago. He was aged way before his time, but I knew it was him. He looked up at me like this was expected, and I looked at the crowd and silenced each of their mouths with my mind.


    I walked over to my brother, and his guard ran just like mine had. I now stood in front of my brother, and I broke his cuffs. I removed his gag. I pulled him close, and I almost cried. Now is not the time for tears. "Haiden?" I asked. He looked up as to say, ''yes?'' I continued, "I''m going to get us out of here. I promise." The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    I went back the way I came and headed down my long hall. I opened the cells with the black men, women, and children. I was freeing my people. Something I have always wanted to do but never thought I had the strength.


    "Stay close," I told them, "Stay close, and I will keep you safe." I made my way out of the camp. I stood out of the entrance and brought the entire base into pieces. I crushed it with my mind, and I burned it to ash.


    I led my people back to Greys base. It would take a while but at least Haider and I know how to hunt and fend for a family. We only have 13 other people with us. It shouldn''t be any more complicated than feeding four.


    We never had enough time to catch up. I kept looking at him, wondering how he could possibly be alive. I remember killing him.


    I remember Him begging me to stop. I remember being so angry that I couldn''t. I remember wanting to crush every single bone in his body. I remember wanting him to die. I remember holding his limp body in my arms. I remember...


    I am guilty, I realize. I was wondering why I was unable to look him in the eyes, and it is because I am guilty. Suddenly, he is sitting next to me, and I tense. We stopped to rest, and I was daydreaming about the past and my present.


    I look over at him and ask, "how are you alive?" I could barely hear my voice when I asked. He looked at me sideways like I was going to start laughing and say it was a joke.


    "You do know what a hospital is, right?" He asked sarcastically. I nodded, but I was confused. "Even if you had received medical attention, you still shouldn''t be alive. I felt you die," I expressed my confusion, and he just laughed.


    "Look, I am not saying that you didn''t kill me. That was like, four years ago, so let''s not talk about it. Now, tell me, big sis, Where are we headed?" He changed the subject. I was frustrated, and he just shut me down. Nonetheless, I replied with, "The North American sector base."


    He looked at me like I just slapped him. "You are leading us into a death trap!" He exclaimed. He was loud enough to get other heads to turn in our direction. I tried to explain, but he kept screaming in my face about how he trusted me. He trusted that I would get him out.


    I lost it. I shut his mouth with a single thought, and I told him what he missed. "Haiden, my boyfriend killed the supreme leader of the world. He was a twisted man, I agree, but his son is nothing like him. He killed his father for me, and now we are trying to rebuild."


    At that, I released my hold on him and walked away. "Let''s go. We should keep going before dark." And I started walking.


    The wind became ice as I made my way back to base with the people behind me. The weather went from uncontrolled heat to an unrelenting cold. "Are we there yet?" I would hear them ask. To which I would respond with, "No. Keep asking, and it''ll be longer."


    We walked until we couldn''t feel our toes. We walked until we were on the brink of passing out. Then we were there.


    The people asked why we were at the capitol. They wondered what would happen to them. I reassured them that they would be fine.


    I walked inside and immediately had guns aimed my way. I used my powers to aim the guns away. "Where is Gray?" I demanded. The soldiers shook their heads as if to say ''no''. "I am going to ask you one more time, where is Gray?" I pressed on, using my abilities to aim their guns towards themselves. "In his office!" One guard called out fearfully.


    I took their guns and slung them against the far wall, then made my way to Gray''s office. My people stayed outside when I went inside. My brother, however, followed me.


    When I made my way to Gray''s door, I slammed it open. I was pissed that his Guard dogs still pointed guns towards me When I have been with him for months now.


    He was shocked at first, but then his face began to smile. When he saw my facial expression, his slight grin faltered.


    "What''s wrong, love?" He asked, his voice shaky. I think he was scared, and I wondered what I looked like in his eyes. "Your guards still point guns at me when I walk in this building. They should know who I am by now!" I yelled.


    Haiden walked towards me and put a hand on my shoulder to get me back on track. "What she means to say is she is pissed and will talk about it in a minute, but right now, we are going to focus on the fact that we have black refugees waiting outside," Haiden spoke for me.


    Gray walked towards me and grabbed my face with both of his hands. "We can''t save everyone, love." He whispered softly. To which I replied, "At least I try." I was fuming with rage, and the only one that feared me at that moment was Haiden.


    I flinched back when I saw the fear in Haiden''s eyes. The same fear I saw when I was killing him. I pushed Gray away from me and said in a guilty voice, "I''m sorry, I-I am sorry." Then I ran out of the room, fearing that I would eventually snap. I was so angry, but I didn''t know where the anger came from. I was fuming with rage, and it scared even me.


    I saw red and black and red. I was lightheaded and dizzy. I saw double, and then....


    I was nothing, nowhere.