《I'm My Own Inner Demon》


 Prologue

    ISAAC PATTON''S POV


    For those who don''t know, here''s an introduction. Let''s roll the clip, shall we? My name is Isaac Patton and I''m a writer.


    I mostly publish erotica books, and I enjoy writing about the warmth and affection of my characters to one another. I focus on pleasing the hopeless ones until it wasn''t that much of a challenge for me so I switched genres.


    Well, there goes my fanbase of teenage girls undergoing hormonal growth. It''s hard to let go, especially when you honed yourself with it. But I had to put an end to it and get out of my comfort zone.


    If you were to ask me what kind of publishing do I prefer? I''d rather do self-publishing than make the publishers read the shit I write for them to review.


    I''m my own critic and no one should dare change the masterpiece I type into my laptop. At least let me control something else because I couldn''t do it when it comes to my very own life.


    I didn''t know that this transition would cost me something critical and that is the process I''m doing, and this is the first time. I simply ran out of ideas, and I can''t make some weird creatures make love.


    I''m no creep, my ideas just don''t make sense sometimes. It takes someone to drain their brains so it could mean something.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.


    When I think about it, the pain gets worse. I had to take paracetamol to ease the headache. It lessens, but the consequence is even horrendous. I couldn''t sleep at night after taking it.


    I don''t know why but my body doesn''t so well when it comes to stuff like that. What''s the reason to stay up all night and think about the blankness of your brain?


    It''s fucking empty and I couldn''t do anything to fill it up with something that''ll oil up the rusty gears up my brain. I need inspiration, but I ask myself how do I get unmotivated without even feeling it?


    It''s sickening, I can easily tell that I don''t like it.


    Why do I have to suffer? It makes me think I deserve all of this.


    Did I do something wrong? Or I''m just making a fool out of myself?


    Could be both, perhaps. The interconnection baffles me.


    I''m no soldier, I''m not tough enough to deal with situations like this. Is there anyone that could help me out? No? Fine. I''ll do it myself. This is the first time I get to man up, but how? Again with the questions, I guess I''ll have to find out.


    Escaping? It could be the only solution. I needed time, but it wasn''t on my side. I don''t have time to cry, either. I spent my whole life sobbing in agony and I''m tired of going in that circle again. I got out of that void and I don''t have plans on coming back again.


    But where to? Ah, I know a place. Palomino Village. The sound that the lake does is just so soothing that it might help me out. My father goes there when he feels so lost, and that''s where he met mom. Did it become their dating place? Heh, almost.


    The village is quite developed now, actually. With the tall trees, chirping birds, and some more friendly critters you could find. They also have these huts and cabins too. But what caught my attention is that lake. They call it Cattle Lake, and it sounds cute, to be honest.


    I guess I''ll have to book myself a vacation. Even so, document what''s in there and ask the people who live there. All I need is a kickstart to get things going again. Who knows? Maybe that''ll lead me to stardom.


    Palomino is something else... I can''t even describe it on my own. I need to find out why and write it down.


    To be continued...

 Act I

    ISAAC PATTON''S POV


    I''m in the middle of fucking nowhere and that''s fine, I know where I''m headed to and that is the Palomino Village. I didn''t care about the weather, I was too excited to reconsider. The cloud was building up when I was on the way, not to mention the drizzle coming from the rain.


    All that matters to me is to get into Palomino ASAP, but then I had to make a stop to take a break from such a long drive. The adrenaline was too much, and this is the first time excitement gets me since I lost interest in everything I come across. I felt so alive, the momentum just makes me feel that way.


    I have crossed three bridges already, yet I still haven''t reached the village. Exhaustion? It''s not on my vocabulary this time. All I thought about is how enthusiastic I am when it comes to that place. And finally, there''s the valley near the intriguing locale.


    The valley was such a sight already, I could stop there and stare at it for hours. What did I do? Bring my phone out and take a picture of it. I''m not the best out there when it comes to photography, but the quality looks decent enough to gaze at.


    Soon as I reach the village itself, a parking lot welcomes my path. Man, what a relief. I thought I''d waste fuel by just securing a spot for my car. Again, there''s a bridge to cross and I had to walk this time. Well, I''m not skipping leg day so I went for it.


    After I passed the bridge, a shack was on the side of the way. Inside the hut, there was a petite woman who welcomed me. She seemed too pure and jolly upon seeing a new face within the village. I was too shy to ask for directions, so I stood there and waited for her to come out of the wooden counter.


    Her smile was so welcoming that I am attached to the place already. She then asked what I came for and of course, I answered accordingly. The Palomino Village is what I came for, after all. My response made her chuckle lightly, showing how proud she is to live in it.


    The patriotism in this lady is something admirable, so I listened to her thoroughly. She was rather giving directions around the whole village until she made an offer, asking me how long I''m going to stay. Two weeks would suffice my curiosity, to say the least.


    She then handed out a booklet about the cabins-for-rent, and I must say they put on a hell of a promo with how cheap yet convenient it is. Yep, I came prepared with my wallet. I could tell that tourists barely visit the town, though. They are totally missing out.


    It wasn''t long until her husband came out of the hut looking all grumpy and left unsatisfied. He was absolutely the opposite of his wife from the behavior he was showing. My eyes enlarged when he starts to pressure her, complaining why they do not have any income for the month.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    Usually, I do not intervene in one''s relationship. But oh, how hypocritical I am. I could say that I''m great at defending others but myself? Forget about it. I just gave the payment for my whole trip to this village, why would he protest about not getting sufficient revenue?


    Now I''m worried because the woman''s jolly demeanor just disappeared. Does he have to ruin her mood like that? Once again, I needed answers. But I won''t get it unless I ask so I left it that way. I began walking away from them, and the chance to ask about their names was just a missed opportunity I failed to go after.


    Heading back to my car, I opened the trunk to retrieve my belongings including my laptop. Of course, I''m not gonna leave that thing behind. And finally, I get to lay low after such a tiring ride. Once the villagers gave me directions about the cabin I''ll stay in, I knew where to go.


    I was worrying that they would inspect my bag or something but nah, I''m good to go. I just waited for them to leave before I bring the goodies out. But first, a little tour wouldn''t hurt. Great, the door isn''t doing any creaking noises. The place is so neat... It''s perfect. The view is just- Oh, so sweet!


    There she is... Cattle Lake. I brought my mobile phone out again to take pictures of the stillness of the pond. I''m definitely putting this on my social media accounts because why the fuck not? Ugh, why do I brag about everything? Seriously? Eh, never mind.


    The bathroom''s nice and all, especially with their toilet being glossy like the flooring. If I could buy this cabin, I will. I have enough money, what else could I ask for? Right, some performance-enhancement stuff. No, I''m not talking about steroids. Who do you think I am, some jacked combat sports guy? Fuck, no.


    I''m talking about weed, that''s it. Helps me write better than drinking beer. Ever heard of drunk writing? Well, fuck that. I do high writing, literally. One puff and I''m the best writer alive. But when it wears off, I''m just your average joe.


    Do you want to know what surprises me the most? This small town has an internet connection in it. It ain''t much, but at least it''s decent. The photos I took would make a good cover, I''ll just put on some filters and effects in it, download a free font and use it for the title. I don''t know much about editing, so feel free to judge.


    After saving the edit I just made, I browsed the content of my flash drive to review some of my works. Yes, it''s erotic and steamy. After opening the organized drafts, I scanned for an unnamed folder with pictures in it. Didn''t even know the files were there, and my nosiness got me so good this time.


    Hey, look. It''s Jenny and Jessie. My lovely daughters. How I miss them. It''s been years since the- Oh... Right. Several years have passed since I lost them. I didn''t even grant my promise to bring them here. But hey, at least they''re safe from above, watching over me.


    I took a glimpse at the lake and saw an unusual movement. Wait a minute, why is the current getting so strong? Oh, it''s the wind. Huh? The wind? I thought we''ll get hot weather today? The weather forecast is full of bullshit again.


    They''re not gonna make a fool out of me again... I won''t let myself repeat the same mistake. Damn it, my momentum''s ruined again. Gotta go out and switch the kush to my e-cigarette so the police won''t come knocking for smoke complaints.


    Might as well go for a walk, and now I''m taking the leg day way too seriously. The waves on the lake just vanished after the transitional gust, and I think I went too hard on the weatherman. I followed the trail towards the Cattle Lake, noticing a silhouette near the trees.


    I could tell that I''m not the only visitor here, but it''s too early to judge. Actually, no. I am judging now. How the hell did they find this place? It''s not like I''m gatekeeping it, I just want to know the reason why they''re here to wonder around.


    To be continued...

 Act II

    AMANDA EDISON''S POV


    Do I have to find my worth here in this place? I think I lost it already...


    I''ve been staying in this village for quite a while now. So far, so good. My work is just stressful, I could still feel the soreness in me. Those sick bastards... Do I get paid to get treated like that? How vile of them.


    Yes, if someone guessed it, I''m an adult film actress and a damn good one, as they say. They go crazy about me. That''s what I craved for. To be loved and desired by many. I didn''t even think about how I would end up after hitting rock bottom.


    My career''s falling... What should I do to redeem my former glory? My alias is just a name that''s stuck, by now. People know me by the name of Rosemary St-James, and I loved the name they gave me. Loved. I don''t know what to feel anymore after what happened...


    I did the biggest mistake for the rest of my life by signing that damn contract just to take advantage of me in front of a camera? No, I don''t want this life anymore... People see me as a disgusting pornstar who couldn''t live without someone''s penis inside me. They even suspect me getting STDs from it!


    It''s all bullshit. We get tested every fourteen days before filming. The process makes me feel like I''m brain-dead, especially in the aftermath. At first, I just agreed on doing steamy and well-written scenes in collaboration with the other actors. But the viewers wanted something more... Relentless.


    The money I would get in exchange for exposing my body is on an unfair ratio. What type of Mathematics did they learn? Joke''s on me, I took the bait because I was too naive. I didn''t even read the contract. They just made me sign it and wait till it expires.


    They keep on insisting that we should film in this village, but I think it would give it a bad exposure to the public. I don''t want this little town to be known as the place where Rosemary St-James participates in an orgy. This place is too wonderful to be a setting of an adult movie.


    After arguing with the director, we filmed it on a beach instead. I didn''t complain this time, but the sand is just a major hassle during the filming process. I had to remove it inside me using the seawater, and it took me hours before I got rid of the irritation.


    Glad that the process was done and I could rest now. I just wanted peace, is that too much to ask? I''m announcing my retirement soon after it gets released. In that way, I could say goodbye to the people that have seen my voluptuous build getting exposed. I don''t wanna be seen that way ever again.


    Their demands... It''s just too much. Me getting implants wasn''t my choice in the first place but I had to do it to keep them pleased and this is what I get? A crumb of cash and a mind full of sorrows and regrets? Don''t tell me the mob has screwed me again. I feel so betrayed.This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.


    There weren''t many choices left. I could feel that people could see through my clothes that I wear to conceal my source of income. Their eyes just scream judgment, telling me to get some decency. At this very age, I should have settled down in life but no, they took that opportunity away from me.


    Is there anyone that knows me as Amanda and not Rosemary? Please... Someone. I''m begging you to come out. I''m losing it. Please don''t think of me that way. Someone I could tell about my poor decision-making. No, not a life coach. Those are for losers that don''t know how to live their lives.


    It''s getting boring out here in Cattle Lake... Am I the only one here aside from the villagers, that cute lady, and her smoking-hot husband? No? Fine. I might use a dip, anyway. I''m too lazy for a shower so I''m gonna do it old school instead. No one''s watching, right?


    After I took the strap of my bra off, I also peeled my thong down and plunge myself into the lake. Forget the bathtub, this one''s way more soothing than that. I could feel the coldness telling me that to calm down and forget about what I''m thinking of right now. I did the right thing for the first time, and that is going here where no one could find me.


    I was once an innocent girl seeking validation, and now I felt it without someone telling me. The water embracing me makes me feel like I don''t wanna go. I could live here if I want to. It''s sad to see that a few don''t know this place quite well, and now I feel bad for them.


    Huh? What is that? Is someone in there? Oh no, this could be bad. So I yelped for attention. "Who is it?"


    A man struggling on the thick bushes soon caught my attention. I was about to help out when he managed to get rid of the green leaves on his jeans. I thought he would make me leave the water, it''s just too livable here. He was looking for something and while he is busy, I dried myself out and wore my clothes back in, deciding to lend a helping hand.


    "Looking for something?" I asked while adjusting my vest.


    He seems confused, I might have bothered him. It was tense, and he wasn''t saying anything. Maybe he''s one of those boring, introverted guys that are hard to deal with. I wasn''t expecting much until he opens his mouth to say a word about Cattle Lake.


    It was awkward, yet he goes for it. "Visiting this place too?" He asked back.


    I nodded because it was obvious that I''m not a native resident here, I mean I would love to. So anyway, he seems nice... Just too nice for me. "Yeah, I saw this place on the papers. You know what''s next."


    "Ah, okay... I knew this place back when I was a kid, just not this part." He didn''t know about Cattle Lake? Woah, he''s missing something out here in this village.


    "Well, here it is. Cattle Lake. Ta-da!" I motioned like I was presenting it. Like this is the first time I get so passionate about a certain spot. It''s strange... Yet so invigorating.


    It''s getting weird, he''s just staring at the pond like there was something that he did not expect. Once I turned around, I looked at the water, and oh my God, it''s lovely. Some white petals have scattered around the lake compliments its tranquil complexion. The flowers swimming on the lake might look damaged, but it doesn''t matter. For me, it''s perfection.


    "Wow... Just wow. I''m caught off-guard with that." In an attempt to conduct a conversation, I spoke through my heart and soul. And yes, he did say something back. I don''t want it when someone leaves me hanging.


    "It''s true... I''m glad that I discovered this place." He cracked a smile after those words came out, and I haven''t seen such a genuine smile like that since I was a kid.


    "It makes you forget your problems, eh?" My enthusiasm was through the roofs, expecting him to come up with something that might interest me. I was expecting him to be familiar with me but for the first time, I met a guy that wasn''t knowledgeable of what I''m known for.


    Would it be a relief? Yes, it would. Seeing someone like him gives me hope about people out there. People who kept staring at my ominous body and won''t shut up about it. I felt my worth in this forsaken world after that. It was the thing that I kept pertaining yet I don''t see the value.


    Damn, the duality in me...


    To be continued...