《Passing Grade》 The Hangover The sparse cloud cover offered no relief from the tyrant sun''s scorching heat. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was a curse from God, or if the universe was punishing me for some misdeed that I wasn¡¯t aware of. This heat unleashed such intensity that an ice cream cone would melt in seconds. In my mind, there were a pair of questions. What happened to me yesterday? and Why am I outside the house? "Ughhh. My body hurts, this heat fucking hurts, and my head is killing me." The pounding in my head caused me to grab on to my temples. I felt like a bus ran me over. From the corner of my eye, I could see my family''s house, a large, gothic-style mansion. I attempted to rise to my feet and realized that I didn''t have my boots on. This alarmed me, so I patted myself down and felt relief at finding that I was still wearing my Batman shirt and cargo shorts. Despite the assault on my brain, I tried to assemble some idea of what was going on.. Alright, Iona, you are outside your house, with no shoes on, and your family is nowhere to be seen. Out of nowhere, a random thought entered my consciousness. It used a voice I was very familiar with, that''ll of a disappointed mother that was almost dumbstruck at the stupidity of her child. Go into the house! it told me. "Yes, the house. I hope someone is still there." My legs started carrying me through the warm grass. I closed my eyes as I marched through the grass, trying to ignore the heat from overhead. When my feet touched the stone steps, I opened my eyes and rushed up the stairs while yelling profanities. My efforts to get clear of the searing stones caused me to lose my footing and fall face first on the porch. "By the goddess, I swear, if I find out that these bitches left me out here..." I trailed off, absolute hostility filling my voice. I struggled to get up, supporting myself with the large oaken door. Its doorknob was skull-shaped, with eyes of purple jewels. With a small twist of the knob, I opened the door and a breeze of cold air assaulted my body. The briskness of the air provided me such a relief as I slammed the door shut. My feet found the cold checkered floor a comforting contrast to the heat they''d suffered on the other side of the door. Across that plain of blessed coolness were stairs that would lead to the upper parts of the mansion. However, my throat was parched so I lumbered to the kitchen.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. There was a potion of swirling purple liquid on the granite counter. It was still corked, signifying that it had not been opened. Next to the potion was a note. I picked it up and began reading it out loud. ¡°Iona when you come to your senses, check your voicemail.¡± When I finished the note, I set it back down and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Fuck me," I whispered, I reached into my pockets, and took out my phone to check the voicemail. My fingers fumbled for the play button, and I braced for whatever came next. "Before I start, all I have to say is damn, girl! When you take drugs, you take partying to another level.¡± ¡°By the goddess, she is loud!¡± The sheer volume of her voice caused me to cringe back from the phone. I had to paused the message for a couple of seconds to take it all in. What drugs did you take, Iona? Alright, maybe it is all not bad. I resumed the message. "First, let me jolt your memory, homegirl. You took LSD and went wild. By God, you followed that by downing an entire forty of Monkey Shoulder, then slapped a dude and even kissed that fish looking girl." ¡°Fuck my life, right in the ass," I exclaimed, hoping that was the worst of it. There were lots of people at parties, right? Maybe nobody else who would recognize me knew what happened. "Your older sister, Hope, said that she teleported you back home and teleported this potion for you, too." So much for nobody knowing. "Well, the bitch messed up her spell," I groaned as I slammed my head on the table."Ow, ow, ow, that hurt." I grabbed my temples as the headache intensified. Please give me a call when you get back to your senses. Oh, and your clothes are in the wash, back at the academy. Vibe Queens for life!" I sighed as I hung up and laid the phone on the counter. "Fuck me," I whispered, grabbing the potion and pulling the cork with my teeth. I spit it out and quickly chugged the potion. "Goddess, that is bitter!" It tasted like old gym socks smelled, musty and dank, and I doubted anything would help with that. The throbbing headache faded, though, and I felt like I could probably make it up the stairs to my room. Checking the phone, I noticed it still had enough charge for me to send a text, so I let the group know I was okay. "I''m ok. Hope left me outside the house. Shower, then bed. Later." I went up the stairs and took a hot shower before drying off and flopping on the bed. My phone was on my nightstand charging, and my TV was still off. Darkness clouded my vision as I fell asleep. Mother Returns My eyes popped open to find the room flooded with light. Instead of a thumping pain in my head, I felt relief, as if all of the stress had left my body. Unfortunately, now there was a new problem. A pair of hazel eyes were within punching distance and I wasn''t sure whose they were. I balled up a fist to hit them, only to have them jerk back. Then I noticed they were set in the face of a pale-skinned woman "Whoa, calm down. It''s me, Iona. Your mother." Her voice was calm. She didn''t seem to be phased that I tried to punch her, but her scent was off. The smell was all too familiar. "Mom, did you rob a grave? You smell like you died." I covered my nose in an attempt to mask the smell. "Yes, and no. I attempted but the dead started to rise, so I had to deal with those zombies. Fortunately, there was one fresh corpse that I could work with.¡± "Mother, this is my house. You are the one that gave it to me, so no asking me if you can use the workshop." While sitting up, I groaned as the potion was still working its magic. "Wait, how the fuck you get into this house?!" I demanded, my voice laced with venom. "You left the fucking door unlocked. You want to get werewolves, that is how you get fucking werewolves." She fired back at me, her maliciousness hammering me like a shotgun blast to the chest. Her eyes were filled with hostility equal to mine, but upon realizing how she was acting, she sighed. ¡°Iona please, let''s not get into a shouting match. It¡¯s too early for it." Before I could speak, my stomach growled and hit me as if I owed it money. I bent over in discomfort as I felt hollow. "I can fix some breakfast. Do you want some pancakes and sausage patties?¡± My mother asked, with a look of concern on her face. "Do whatever you want," I muttered, not wanting to admit her taken care of me was nice She sighed before turning her back to me to head downstairs. I took my phone off the nightstand and turned it back on. There was one message waiting for me, and it was from Hope. Iona, I hope you are not too mad. I will make it up to you for this mistake. I texted mother to go check up on you. Emotions flooded throughout my body, but one that dominated the rest. It was pure rage. A boiling rage that caused my hands to shake. I began to type in the group chat, while trying to hold back from saying something I would regret. I managed half of my goal. Hope, I do not like mother. No, I hate her and you had the gall to ask her to check up on me. I do not need or want her fucking help! I looked up from the phone and ran to punch the wall. Pain coursed throughout my knuckles as I grunted with each punch. The memories of how Mother and Father treated me flooded my vision. Memories of all of the restless nights, the missed parties, and their lack of compassion caused my heart rate to go up. My heart began beating like a drum. I felt like someone had squeezed the air out of me as I gripped my chest through my shirt. A sharp, intense pain ran throughout my chest as I slid to the ground, putting my hand on the wall for support. Breathe, think of a waterfall. Some place peaceful. Breathe in and out slowly, everything will be okay.Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. I breathed in and out, my sight filling with the image of a rushing waterfall. Around the waterfall were cute rainbow-colored birds, and around the pool were predators and prey, both enjoying a drink. The pain in my chest began to subside as my heart slowed. The smell of sizzling meat brought the image to an end as my stomach began kicking me to action. My mouth began to involuntarily drool, as I was starving. I exited my room, following the scent downstairs.". My mother was flipping pancakes with a spatula. Next to her was a floating bony hand, flipping over several pieces of patty meat. "That has to be violating a buttload of health codes." I gestured to the bleached white bony hand. "Germs are all around you, sweetie. Plus, I am no necromancer that lacks hygiene. Which reminds me, can I use your shower before I leave?" "Fine, but do so quickly. I want you gone before I head back to my dorm." My mother nodded as she continued cooking breakfast. "Iona, I didn''t want to put this on you, but there are other reasons why we gave you this house. You see, your sister, Faith, would have inherited the throne, but she refused it. She also lacked enough power." Sadness engulfed her voice as there was hesitation between her words. "What throne? You never mentioned a throne before." "Let me think about how I can explain this. You see, we have ties to eldritch horror, undead gods, powerful lich lords, and even the flesh harvesters. The reason you are a prodigy is that I was unfaithful with your father. Well, not so much unfaithful, as I was in a ritual." My mother looked down at her feet as she trailed off. "So you were a whore?" I said with the smuggest smile on my face, almost forgetting that I despised her. "Careful bitch, I will not tolerate disrespect." She paused for a couple of seconds before addressing me calmly. "You are a princess, Iona." "I am what?!" My eyes opened wider than I thought physically possible. I was surprised that they didn''t pop out. "You are a princess, Iona, she repeated, her tone just as even as the first time she said it. I stared at her in disbelief. No matter that her previous confession made her out to be a whore or whatever, but the way she said this..."" "I am a princess, like royalty?" Shock filled my voice and images of my Dagon fan art engulfed my sight while a single thought thundered through my mind.. Who is my father? On the heels of that was Is it Father Dagon, or maybe the Great Dreamer? After a couple of minutes, the food was done. The knife had sliced the pancakes, and meat into seperate smaller pieces. The Butter was smeared on the top of the pancakes, and maple syrup had soaked the pancakes. The pancakes and sausage stood no chance against my ravenous appetite. In a minute, my plate was cleared of food. There were only the remnants of syrup on the metal plate. "This is a lot of information, Mother." I attempted to say more but no words would come. "Go talk to one of your friends in your group. She may offer better insight than I could." She quickly went off to take a shower as I remained dumbfounded by the revelation. "I am a princess." Even now, I had trouble believing it. When I took out my phone, I saw numerous messages, but first, I had to address the one Hope sent me. I only tried to help you. I did my best. The most you can do is at least say thank you. Faith had also sent a message that supported Hope, who was hurt. come on, that was uncalled for. I texted back, the hooks of guilt tugging at my conscience. I am sorry, you are right. This was the best way you could think of to help me. I need to talk to Terra, the daughter of the vampiric Squid. Do you know where she is? As if a god was answering my prayers, Terra responded, but in an ancient language. Note l'' ai, mgsyha''h azathhnah acid ng cocaine She quickly followed up with another text. Sorry, my dudes, I tend to speak in the ancient tongue when I haven''t had my soul coffee. So, what''s up, Iona? What do you need me for? I texted back, hoping she will agree. It is relating to Eldritch horrors. Terra''s fingers must have been a blur, as her reply was almost instantaneous.". Sure, meet me in the coffee room and we can talk. ¡°Goddess, this is too much to take in,¡± I said, overwhelmed at Mother''s news and still not fully recovered from whatever happened last night. I was not looking forward to more details on either event, but knew I had to. The School After several minutes, I finally arrived at the college. Shortly after leaving home, I arrived at the massive building that was the college I attended. The gothic building was almost too big for its purpose, even with the numerous students from all races attending. Its solid gold towers overlooked grounds filled with floating orbs and covered in mystic sigils. Students walked from place to place, but I had a specific goal in mind and walked over to a pink sigil that identified me in a mechanical tone. "Iona: student, royalty, not pureblood human. Where shall I take you?" Its icy voice caused me to shiver.. "Take me to the girl''s dorms." My anger had subsided. I didn''t want to get in trouble with the teachers, mother was a bitch, but that didn''t mean that I had to be one. "Iona, as is due to royalty, shall I call you by your title?" Its tone was sparked with curiosity. "You know what? Knock yourself out! Call me Princess Iona." I laughed, no one ever called me princess, except the dead, but I barely paid attention to the ramblings of corpses. "Why haven''t you told me that I was registered as a princess before?" I asked. I raised my eyebrows as the sigils on the ground floated up and spun around me so fast that I could only see the lines. "Princess Iona, every time I tried to tell you, you say,and I quote. ¡®Shut the fuck up,¡¯ end quote." That quote hit me harder than a mallet to the skull. My guilt rose up as I involuntarily covered my face. The memory of me being a bitch that day always haunted me when it crossed my mind." With a sigh, I replied, "Fine, call me princess." "As you wish, Princess Iona." The light engulfed my body and I manifested on the other side, only to find one of my sisters standing nearby. Faith was the tallest one, she had a professional vibe around her. Her magical energy was weak in necromancy, but it was strong in the other areas. "Iona, has the medicine taken effect?" She questioned as she held out a fist for a fist bump. My fist touched hers. "My head is not thumping like some pixie is hitting me with a mallet, so I¡¯m good. Where are Hope and Joy?" I raised an eyebrow, as those two were usually up. "Hope is in her daily mediation, and Joy is still suffering from her hangover. However, before you speak to Terra, Raven forgot to tell you details about the party. You were wild and said hurtful things to Joy. I mean, you really went below the belt. I was planning to have a coven meeting so we can all make up." Faith''s tone had a soothing effect, as if she was some paragon of wisdom. ""...what was I thinking when I said that?"? Why did I have to take it that far?" I slapped myself on the forehead repeatedly. "You called her a bitch, cunt, and other words that I will not repeat. We are sisters, and it pains me to see division between us.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. "I¡¯m sorry, you¡¯re right. Just text me when you are ready to set the meeting." "I will, but just remember that I love you, little sister." Faith hugged me. The affection washed over my body as she hugged me tight. Love and understanding wrapped around me. Unfortunately, she was a long hugger. It neared a minute later and she still hugged me. "Faith, let me go. You¡¯re squeezing the hell out of me!" Faith looked a little abashed. "Whoops, sorry, Iona. Well, I will see you around. If you ever need me, just call." We did our fist bump again and parted ways. I proceeded to head to the coffee room and the smell of roasted beans filled my nostrils. It was a heavenly aroma that tempted me to consume the bitter drink they made. Standing before the coffee machine was a woman with three eyes, a mouth on her arm, and blue hair going to the length of her shoulders. In her hand was a full coffee mug. "Terra, I¡¯m here." I slapped myself mentally, as that was an awkward way to greet someone, especially a fellow classmate. "Good morning, did you know I am on my third cup of coffee? I don''t need to stay up, since school will not be in session until a month from now, but I love the taste. So tell me what you need to know about sanity breaking horrors?" The sipping sounds of her enjoying the cup of joe was somehow relaxing. "My mother said my father is some eldritch horror. I don¡¯t know about such matters. It all happened during some ritual." "Did she happen to mention a name? Various horrors get summoned in rituals. My father is the All Seeing God,and my mom said that the ritual was degrading. However, this isn''t about me. We can narrow this down by using the Necronomicon." Terra had written a symbol in the air that caused a book to manifest onto the table from nowhere. It was bound in dried human skin, with a frightening face. "By the goddess, what is that? In all of my years of necromancy I have not seen that book." My tone was filled with a mix of admiration and a bit of disgust. "It''s a famous book and many want to get their little appendages on it. To be safe, let us do this behind closed doors. Meet me in a couple hours in my dorm. Also word of advice, if you are a princess, then you should go to the princess club." The multiple eyes on Terra''s face pierced my soul as she spoke to me. Unease had gripped me, as though a noose was tightening around my neck. Terra slapped my arm with a playful smile. ¡°See you later Iona." The book vanished as Terra waved through the symbol and walked off. I walked off and headed to the princess club. ***************** The princess'' club doorway was full of flowers, golden statues, and servants who were tending to the gardens. At the door was a large armored guard with a steel sword. The door was solid gold and coated with diamonds. As I approached, the guard held out his hand. "Stop, you¡¯re not a princess. Princesses only, peasants are not allowed." The guard''s voice was condescending and that riled my bones. "I am a princess and I will request entry. My mom told me I am a princess! While she is a bitch, she wouldn''t lie to me." I felt dumb, coming here with no actual proof of my royalty. Maybe I should have gotten something from the school to verify it. "Oh and I am the Queen of England." The guard said in a mocking tone. Fury, no rage, ran amok in my body as I shouted with such force that large bony hands rose from the ground beside the guard. "Prepare to die!" The hands grabbed the guard, who began to squirm. The smell of urine entered my nostrils, which caused me to jerk back. The servants in the gardens ran to the walls at the aura of death. "Iona, put my servant down. People like him are hard to come by." The elegant voice was behind me and caused me to turn around. A woman with cloudy hair that darkened and sparked with lighting glared daggers at me. "Sarah, I apologize, I lost my temper." The hands let go of the guard via a gesture of my hands. "Do you know how hard it is to get a guard like this? Not everyone will die defending you without mental conditioning. Now tell me, why are you in the doorway of the princess club?!" Sarah was pissed, judging by the lighting sparking off and hitting the stone walls. "I am a fucking princess, so I am here to learn how to be one." "First, watch your language with me. You already pissed me off. If you are a princess, then you will be willing to take the blood test to see if you are of royal blood." "The blood test?" I questioned. "It is simple, we take your blood and test it. It is what we all do to potential recruits. Now follow me through the door." Sarah gestured and the golden door opened up. She stepped over the cowering guard and I followed her through the door.