《Arena Arcadia》 Episode 1: It Lives! Live From The Unknown Arena Arcadia Presents Episode 1: IT LIVES! Sunday, October 25th ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï INTRODUCTION ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï With a burst of pyro, the show is live. The audience--roughly 1200 people--cheer as a man in bandages and a suit emerges from the entryway and makes his way to the ring with a microphone. He introduces himself as the Administration, a representative of the various bookers, judges, referees, and miscellaneous staff of Arena Arcadia. He also explains--for those just tuning in, or for anyone who bought their live ticket on accident--that Arena Arcadia is an interdimensional fighting competition. Warriors from all walks of life, from all worlds are brought in with weapons of old, powerful artifacts from bygone days and ancient legends, just to do battle in this very ring. The rules are simple: a fighter may win by knock out, tap out, ring out, or time out (and a judge''s decision). Anything but outside interference is allowed, at the discretion of the judges'' panel. Tonight marks the first episode of Arena Arcadia... and as such, it also marks the beginning of a tournament to crown the Worlds Champion. Tonight, he says, the crowd will see things that have never been witnessed before--the bizarre, the unorthodox, and hopefully the highly entertaining. "Without further ado," he says, "it lives." ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï OPENING MATCH ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï The Spirit of Phlox VS Douglas 0:00 The bell rings and the crowd isn''t even sure how to react. Douglas is a 13 foot gestalt or hivemind made of alien worms; their opponent, the Spirit of Phlox, is a swirling mass of indefinite vapor and energy that seems to shift from moment to moment. Douglas circles the ring, likely as bewildered by their foe as the audience is. 0:12 Phlox is the first to cross the ring. Douglas attacks with their double sided lance, but it''s like trying to cut smoke. Punches, shoulder rams, thrusts--none of it seems to affect Phlox. She''s anything but solid. Douglas goes for broader sweeps and twirls to try and "disrupt" Phlox''s form, but she pulls herself back together faster than Douglas can clear her (and "together" is a strong word here) 1:07 Phlox is doing... something, and Douglas realizes it. The collection of Lekgolo that form Douglas''s massive body are starting to thrash and squirm; Phlox may be draining the air out of their lungs, scrambling their neural activity, boiling their blood or... any other number of things, no one knows nearly enough about Phlox to be certain. This includes Douglas, who is forced to try and withdraw from the depths of... well, Phlox. Douglas makes an attempt to get out from inside the ephemeral alchemical vapor that is the opponent. 2:34 Phlox is persistent, clinging to Douglas like the stench of death. It''s clear that the enormous worm monster is hurting, at this point; it''s not just the individual Lekgolo that are convulsing now, but the entire body seems to be off kilter. 4:15 Douglas is literally coming undone, almost spilling out of their armor. 6:30 Half seizing and half melting, what''s still cognitive of the gestalt that is Douglas extends one collective hand. Despite lacking a face, the countenance of the hivemind appears to focus on the erratic, rapid jerking and writhing of its constituent parts. Douglas may be realizing something. 7:01 Douglas begins to spin their symmetrical lance like a giant fan. This looks like the desperate last bid of a fading sentience at first, but once they get enough speed going the giant fan does, in fact, start to blow Phlox back. 7:44 The clearer Douglas gets of Phlox, the more the Lekgolo are able to pull themselves together. Coordinating more effectively now, the giant body of Douglas rolls and darts about with shocking speed, continuing to drive Phlox backward with the spinning lance. Phlox seems to become aware of her opponent''s strategy, and tries to disperse from the danger zone--but Douglas is too keen to their ring positioning, and too quick for a billowing vapor to maneuver past. 8:46 Douglas successfully forces the incorporeal Spirit of Phlox to touch floor outside the ring; the armored giant almost topples back as the bell rings, declaring them the winner. After leaning into their lance like a crutch and getting their bearings, Douglas leaves the ring under their own power--promptly putting distance between themselves and the Spirit of Phlox. Phlox, who does not appear to realize the match is over, is carefully recontained by her team. Douglas moves ahead in the Worlds Championship tournament. Winner: Douglas by Ring Out in 8:46 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï MATCH #2 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï Caxi VS ???? 0:00 On one side: Caxi. She''s a lizard person with a portal gun. On the other side: uhh... well, some kind of large automaton with a baseball bat. The ring announcer struggles to pronounce his name, but he''s some manner of alien sponsored by Team Erena Arcadia Meta. The bell rings and Caxi begins to circle her opponent, who... does not move. At all. His lights blink, his smokestacks steadily pump out a stream of gray fumes, but otherwise the second competitor in this tournament matchup is like a statue. 0:20 Caxi, growing impatient with her opponent''s inactivity, goes on the offensive. She rushes his side of the ring, ready to blitz her foe--but at the last second, he reacts. ...And he reacts well, using his bat to block the claws, narrowly but precisely dodging her tail, then finally shoving her backward. Caxi pauses, seemingly stunned by her opponent''s sudden display of proficiency. 1:05 Caxi picks up the pace; creating portals in the floor around her foe, she begins to accost him with wild hit and run tactics, diving into one spatial anomaly after another to build momentum to come flying past him from entirely different directions. TEAM''s seemingly mechanical representative reacts with only as much energy as necessary--just barely dodging, blocking, and maneuvering around every attack with the least effort possible. It''s measured--a perfect match of required energy, no more and no less. 6:15 Caxi is growing visibly frustrated. The alien she''s up against still shows no emotion whatsoever--merely patience. Infinite... patience. The audience grows louder as Caxi continues to escalate her assault, flipping and slashing about at speeds the average eye can barely keep up with. ...But her opponent continues to hardly react. He casually sways, slightly dips, raises his bat just enough to defend himself. He''s stepped maybe inches from where he began the fight, yet seems to be in total control of the situation. 10:36 Caxi stops to catch her breath and reassess what she''s dealing with. In the brief interlude, the audience gives her a round of applause, clearly impressed with her acrobatic, space-defying feats of portal jumping prowess (even if she hasn''t laid a scratch on the other fighter). 12:10 Caxi changes up her strategy; rather than attacking directly, she begins using her acrobatics to try and bewilder him, then create a portal under her opponent to dump him out of the ring via a second portal in the ceiling. This, at least, prompts her foe to move a little more--but his timing is still impeccable, his motions dictated by absolute efficiency. He steps out of the way of one portal after another almost nonchalantly, as though he''d predicted their every placement ahead of time. 15:54 In a mind blowing daredevil maneuver the likes of which the audience can barely follow, Caxi finally manages to dump TEAM''s alien automaton out of the ring. Before hitting the floor, however, he casually flies himself back into the ring with a series of rockets built into his body. The crowd actually boos, and Caxi looks like she''s about to snap. The nameless alien silently lands, appearing unaffected by what would have otherwise been a close call. 18:00 The judges announce that there are two minutes left in the match. Caxi, exhausted and running out of ideas, pushes onward nonetheless--taking a last, desperate run at her opponent. This time, however, he doesn''t just defend himself--he counters. One swing of his bat. One hit. Not even a particularly powerful strike, but enough to say that he has technically struck Caxi should the fight come down to the judges'' decision. Caxi, much to her audible frustration, still cannot land a clean blow. 19:00 One minute remaining. Caxi has little left in the tank but she''s going all in--committing to every slash, diving forward into her tail strikes, gambling on moves that would be insanely risky against a normal opponent but-- well, this isn''t a normal opponent. She puts him into positions where he HAS to move, where he HAS to put in some amount of effort or take the hit. One hit is all she needs. One good, solid hit would at least put her in range of a debatable draw, rather than a clear loss by decision. 19:45 She makes one portal in front of him, and one portal behind him. She jumps high and dives into one portal, shooting her briefly skyward out the other. Caxi throws the portal gun at an odd angle, 19:50 into one of said portals, slapping it with her tail as she''s falling back down so that she and the portal gun are flying out of separate portals at sharp angles at the same time, 19:55 and the alien is forced to choose between defending against one or the other. The only mathematically safe places to dodge would step him into a portal or out of the ring without sufficient time to rocket back. Raising his bat, he defends against Caxi''s claws but is hit from the side by the portal gun. Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators! 19:58 Caxi''s claw attack transitions into a tail whip... but she doesn''t hit her opponent, she hits the rebounding portal gun, slapping it back into a second ricochet off of her stoic foe''s metallic hide. There is the scantest hint of a pause, as though he''s trying to process the fact that she has actually managed to hit him again. 19:59 He steps forward. He swings. 20:00 The bat connects with Caxi just as the bell has rung. Caxi drops, and the audience resumes booing; TEAM''s fighter does not appear to react, merely staring blankly at the downed lizardfolk in front of him. It takes a little while for the judges to reach a decision, based on their technical evaluation of the fight. By their hesitance, it seems like a very close and difficult decision, but it is a decision they eventually reach regardless. Winner: Caxi by Time Out in 20:00 Caxi stumbles to her feet, nursing her head to the renewed cheers of the live crowd. She moves on to the semi-finals of the tournament next week; her strange opponent merely stares, unmoving even as the camera cuts away. ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï A BRIEF INTERRUPTION ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï The screen switches on, showing a pale Japanese woman with a big smile on her face. Given the quality of the video, it appears to have been made with a rather cheap camera. "Hey there!" She says, "My name''s Natsuki Rin, with Rin being the first name if you don''t use the same name order." "I''ll be having my first match soon, so I hope you''re all looking forward to this as much as I am!" She''s distracted for a moment by something happening off-screen, as someone else can be heard talking. "Get to the point? Right, right. Well then, to get everyone hyped up for the main event, I''ve decided to show this here off!" As she says this Rin pulls a large, spherical object from behind her back. It''s very obviously a bomb, and a large one at that: it''s about the size of Rin''s head. "This is an enhanced shrapnel bomb. I''ve been wanting to use this for a while but never got the chance because it''s pretty destructive, so I''m excited to finally get to see it in action!" "And here on camera is a sneak preview of it!" There is a very audible "wait, what" off-screen. "Wait wait wait...!" Someone shouts as the camera man start backing away, but it''s too late: Rin''s lit the fuse and thrown the bomb away from them. The explosion seems to rock the filming location. Someone screams in terror, someone who''s very clearly Rin is laughing happily... It''s all-around chaos. The camera''s dropped on the floor, and the screen soon turns to snow. Then it cuts to black, with an announcement in white letters: "Due to irresponsible use of explosive ordinance, this promotional video has been cut short. There were no wounded or casualties, and Miss Natsuki has apologized profusely for the property damage caused to the studio." ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï MATCH #3 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï AGINT VS Alph the Prinny, Dood 0:00 Alph the Prinny (dood) has arrived and taken his place in the ring, but after nearly half a minute his opponent has not. The judges decide to ring the bell and officially start the match; AGINT has until the count of ten to show up. 0:04 There is muffled music in the distance; it is assumed to be from a helicopter, which is currently flying over the arena''s glass dome. 0:06 The music is getting louder. Something appears to have been dropped from the helicopter; Alph does not realize it, though some members of the audience are attempting to get his attention. 0:07 The object (and source of the music) is revealed to be an enormous server, which comes crashing through the ceiling. Alph attempts to scramble out of the way. 0:08 Alph the Prinny is crushed beneath the large server rack, which has AGINT printed across the side. From built in speakers, AGINT remarks smugly to himself about having stepped in something. He also switches to a different music track. 0:12 After a brief discussion amongst the judges, the bell is rung. AGINT is declared the winner and carted out with a hand truck. A medical team helps escort Alph out of the ring to a few sympathetic cheers. AGINT moves on, and Alph is eliminated from the Worlds Championship tournament. Winner: AGINT by Knock Out in 0:12 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï MAIN EVENT ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï Leith VS Rin Natsuki 0:00 Though the match has just begun, the crowd is already excited to see where it''s going; Rin Natsuki introduced herself earlier in the night, and her opponent, Leith, is a blue-green-skinned young lady with river weeds in her hair, and... hooves. Backwards hooves, at that. Rin is the first to demonstrate what she''s capable of--motioning as though to blow a kiss, only to instead freeze the surface of a majority of the ring with her exhale. 0:06 While Leith slips and slides, struggling to find her footing, Rin begins to pull shrapnel and smoke bombs from... somewhere and hurl them across the ring. Leith manages to avoid the initial blast radius before disappearing in the smoke. Rin continues to throw bombs with a sort of wild abandon, the grin gradually building across her face--she''s so caught up in just getting to wantonly throw explosives, it''s almost easy for Leith to hide in the bedlam. While it''s barely noticeable, Rin also appears to be hovering--ever so slightly--above the ice. 1:17 Leith charges out of the smoke, having snuck up on Rin in the chaos. To Rin''s great confusion, Leith is no longer having any trouble with the icy floor--her hooved feet appear to stick to the ground. With the element of surprise, Leith grabs hold of Rin, and the two begin to struggle. 3:55 Leith drags her ghostly foe to the floor and begins applying some sort of shoulder lock or arm bar--but before she can really get the move locked in, she (much like the ring) begins to freeze. The two fighters separate--Leith to reconsider her strategy and thaw her arms a bit, and Rin in a state of panic. "Th... that''s not supposed to happen," Rin mutters. "Why are you so... damp?!" Leith does, to be fair, appear quite... sweaty? ...Dank? The mysterious moisture on the surface of her teal flesh does not fare well in the cold proximity of Rin Natsuki. 5:15 Natsuki, back to floating over the ring, begins to actively flee from Leith. "Stay back!," Rin shouts at her opponent while frantically chucking explosives. "Don''t you get it? You''ll freeze!" Leith gives chase, resorting to kicks while trying to defrost her own arms, but her... er, sticky feet don''t quite measure up to Rin''s hover speed. Either due to having run out of normal bombs, or perhaps to mask her tactical retreat, Rin now seems to be entirely relying on smoke bombs. 8:45 Now it''s Leith who is yelling. "STAUND STILL AND FECHT ME, DAMMIT!" "No!," Rin shouts back, "You can''t get close! You''re too... moist, it''s WEIRD!" By this point, the ring is so full of smoke that the crowd can barely keep track of the antics. The ensuing argument, however, manages to keep the audience entertained nonetheless. "S''NO WEIRD!," retorts Leith, "YE''RE weird, YE FECKIN'' ICY BURD! An'' dinna say moist, THAT''S weird!" 12:25 Rin, borrowing a page from her opponent''s book, begins to hide in the smoke while chucking her bombs about. Leith, seeming to give up on finding and kicking Rin, instead begins punting her opponent''s thrown bombs out of the ring as they come flying out. It does cut down on the smoke, clearing the view up over the next several minutes. 17:32 Enough smoke has cleared that both fighters are fully visible. Rin pauses, patting herself down... and clearly realizes that she is out of bombs. Leith, with a crack of her neck, proceeds to turn into a gaunt, fanged horse and charges directly at Rin Natsuki (to the surprise and delight of the crowd). Rin, with a yelp, narrowly dodges to the side as the magical steed comes dashing past. 21:20 Rin dodges Leith''s mad horse form for as long as she can--until Leith gambles on a sudden leap, transforming back into her more human-shaped form mid-air and tackling Natsuki. Even as her arms once more begin to freeze--as well as the lower part of her face and other extremities--Leith furiously snakes her arms around Rin''s neck, putting her in a chokehold. "No--!," Rin shouts, trying to squirm free--"You''re going to freeze! You have to let go!" "DINNA FASH YERSEL'' ABOUT GETTIN'' ME CAULD!," Leith counters. "S''A FECHTIN'' TOURNAMENT, YE DAFT SNAW-GHAIST! Ye didna hae a problem wit'' BLAWIN'' ME UP, DID YE?!" At this point, it does sound more like Rin''s just trying to talk her way out of the hold--it''s clear Leith has long stopped caring about the temperature and is all in on this choke, exposure be damned. 21:50 Rin, unable to escape the ever tightening, steadily freezing chokehold, submits. The bell rings, and the arena crew pile into the ring to try and separate Leith from Rin. Leith is pretty well frozen entirely in the chokehold position; both competitors have fully passed out by the time they''re pulled apart. As they''re being carted away by separate medical teams, both fighters receive cheers and applause from the live audience. Even if half the fight was obscured by bombs going off all over the place, it''s not every day one gets to see a kelpie choke out a yuki-onna. Winner: Leith by Tap Out in 21:50 NEXT WEEK: Leith vs AGINT, Douglas vs Caxi, new fighters will debut and MORE as the Arena Arcadia Worlds Championship tournament continues! Interested in contributing to Arena Arcadia? Check out our website at http://arenaarcadia.com! Episode 2: Substance of Choice Live From High Above Monsteropolis Arena Arcadia Presents Episode 2: YOUR SUBSTANCE OF CHOICE HITS THE FAN Sunday, November 1, 2020 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï INTRODUCTION ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï Arena Arcadia returns, not to the middle of nowhere but to the deck of a massive airship. Soaring above a high tech cityscape, the logistics are roughly the same--a large, flat ring, surrounded by a designated out-of-bounds zone, surrounded by camera crew and an audience. This week, though, that''s all flying high, and the audience is mostly comprised of humans and robots. The sky is heavily clouded, and a cool breeze whips by as the arena/airship courses forward. Before the first match can begin, however, someone in the ring has a microphone--and this time, it''s not the Administration. Rather, the man with the mic is one of the arena''s newest competitors, Crown Chaser. Chaser--a vampire of the Ventrue clan, according to the commentary team--introduces himself with a certain level of flair and a questionable amount of arrogance, garnering a mixed reaction from the live audience. "I hope you''re all as excited for this duel as I am," he concludes. "A battlefield like this is where I belong. I promise you this: I will become your champion. ...And you''re going to love it.¡± The vampire draws his weapon: an ornate and wicked looking scarlet blade. His opponent--an irradiated ghoul who has patiently waited from the edge of the ring this entire time--draws his weapon: a simple parasol. ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï OPENING MATCH ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï Theodore Oakley vs Crown Chaser 0:00 Chaser appears to have only now seen who his opponent is; he forces a chuckle and quips to the audience, "Does it count as a kill if my opponent''s already dead?" "I''m not dead yet, smoothskin," replies the ghoul on the other side of the ring, "though I guess the same can''t be said for you. Don''t get cocky, kid." Both men steadily approach the center of the ring. 1:15 Crown Chaser takes a slow, almost casual sort of swing; Oakley blocks it, almost as casually, with his parasol. They hold the position for a moment, with CC finally smirking. "Hey, you did your homework! Good--" He begins to slide his blade back. Theodore grabs hold of the sword outright, locking eyes with his foe. Chaser''s smile doesn''t shift an inch. "--You''ll need every advantage you can GET!¡± And with that, he jerks his sword backward--and with it, Oakley, slamming a knee into the ghoul''s hand. 2:00 The gentlemen are off to the races. Chaser attacks rapidly but not aggressively--jabbing and slashing at his opponent at a gradually increasing rate, as though merely gauging his abilities. Theodore Oakley keeps up, however, batting the flat side of the oncoming sword with his umbrella, defending himself from just the right angles at just the right times. Despite being on the defensive, he has impressive control of the battlefield; he parries and counters only enough to maintain his position, holding his ground with a clearly inferior weapon. 6:23 With a risky feat of dexterity, Theodore uses his umbrella to briefly trap Chaser''s blade. While Chaser appears the healthier and stronger of the two, he''s caught off balance--and pulled straight into a headbutt from Theodore. 6:25 "Ugh!" The Ventrue stumbles back, seeming more disgusted than hurt. He gathers himself quickly, regaining the smug smile of earlier. "So what IS the deal with your umbrella?," he asks. "I''ve heard of bringing a knife to a gun fight, but this is a real joke." Oakley gives the parasol a twirl. "And yet, somehow... you''ve yet to win." "''Course not," replies Chaser. "I''m trying to see what you can do." The grip on his sword tightens. Oakley visibly braces himself; he knows something''s coming. "Now make this EXCITING for me, please!," CC demands as he launches forward into a thrust-- a thrust so fast that Oakley, even being ready for it, scarcely manages to dodge. 6:54 Though the entire tone of the fight has changed, the eager grin on Chaser''s face has not. No longer is he measuring his opponent--he attacks now with an impressive intensity, a speed and a power that even his biggest critics in the audience are stunned by. "So," he asks, "are there any perks to being mostly dead?" 8:37 Theodore Oakley isn''t losing, at the very least, which is more than most fighters would be able to say against the assault Crown Chaser is conducting. Despite being armed still with only a parasol, the old ghoul still deftly maneuvers between strikes, blocking and parrying with clear difficulty but nonetheless blocking and parrying. CC is almost a blur, swinging his sword with inhuman force--and though Oakley is quickly losing ground now, being herded back toward the edge of the ring, he''s barely taken any real hits. The irritation in Chaser''s voice is faint, but present. "Where did you learn to fight?" 10:15 "Tell me," Chaser huffs, forcing his opponent ever closer to the out-of-bounds zone. "What makes you so special?" Oakley''s heel hits the elevated edge of the ring. Nowhere left to go. "Nothing," Oakley finally responds. "...Now quit your yapping and fight." 10:21 Chaser goes for a thrust; with another debonaire flaunt of his parasol, Oakley catches the blade in the handle and twists it out of his foe''s hand. Crown Chaser stumbles back, seemingly shocked as Theodore Oakley now wields both weapons--the meager parasol in one decaying hand, the scarlet sword in his other. His stance suggests he''s no stranger to dual wielding; the smirk has disappeared from the vampire''s face. 10:27 Crown Chaser makes his play. Faking several different ways before dashing in, he deftly avoids being cut down by his own sword-- and is instead stabbed through the chest with a parasol. 10:28 He does not stop, however. He hardly even slows down, the sinister smirk returning as Chaser barrels forward onto the impaling instrument, grabbing Oakley by the shoulders and taking both men out of the ring. Oakley hits the floor first with Chaser quite deliberately atop him; the judges ring the bell. Winner: Crown Chaser by Ring Out in 10:28 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï A NEW FEATURE ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï Starting this week, Arena Arcadia is trying something new: hazard matches. Unlike normal matches that take place in the ring and in the arena proper, hazard matches go on location to surrounding areas, giving the fight a more au naturel style. The fighting area is larger, making ring outs less likely, and more importantly: hazard matches are no disqualification, meaning that death is NOT off the table (though arena staff are well equipped to resurrect competitors in most circumstances). Currently, the plan is to have one hazard match per show... and without further ado: ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï MATCH #2 - HAZARD DIVISION ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï Alph the Prinny, Dood vs Champ Fire 0:00 The camera cuts to a place far, far below the airship that the rest of the fights are happening aboard--to the depths of a forest. ...A very strange forest, as everything appears artificial. The trees are lined with wires and blinking lights. The birds are mechanical. There are tents, but no sign of campers. It has begun to lightly snow. 0:08 The camera finds Alph the Prinny (dood), who is darting through the woods quickly--but cautiously, keeping his head low and a steak knife ready in each hand. He darts out from behind trees and into bushes, visibly sweating under his bandana in spite of the growing cold. 0:25 The source of his anxiety briefly crosses the path of the camera--an elevated flickering, like a flame in the distance, casting an eerie glow between the synthetic trees. The source of the light sneaks out of view just as quickly as it arrived. 1:31 Alph stalks the glow, following the smell of smoke through the woods. He clenches the handle of one knife in his beak so he can carry a third. He pushes his way through the brush, his breaths growing shallower and shallower as he nears his target. 2:08 Alph discovers not his opponent, but an actual, normal campfire. 2:10 From directly behind Alph, a voice: "If a winter camping spree is in the cards, go with a mountaineering tent that can withstand harsh weather conditions!" Alph screams--somewhere between a death shriek and a battle cry--as he whirls around, slashing wildly at the air. His opponent moves fast; dust and snow kick up as wooden legs launch the creature backward, out of the way of Alph''s attack. Amidst the debris and chaos, the camera can barely get a good look at the advertised Champ Fire. 2:15 Alph pursues in an adrenaline fueled frenzy. He rushes blindly into the woods, only to get slid across the forest floor by a roundhouse kick to the face. 2:20 As Alph gets to his feet, his opponent emerges--Champ Fire, a stiff wooden humanoid with a great flaming expression in the place of a proper head. Alph throws two knives as he rushes forward--the blades pierce straight through Champ Fire''s "face" and continue onward, sticking into trees behind him. As he rushes up to Champ Fire, Alph pulls the third knife out of his mouth-- 2:23 Alph ducks a kick, then dodges a swing from Champ Fire''s blaseball bat. It''s not entirely clear how he''s wielding the bat, lacking any distinct fingers--but he nonetheless swings with enough force to crack the surface of one of the surrounding trees. The knives that shot straight his head do not seem to have affected Champ Fire much. "Use silica gel packs to keep your camp cookware rust-free between uses!" 2:25 Alph shoves his knife into one of Champ Fire''s "legs," almost managing to saw it halfway off before he''s kicked into a tree. Drawing more knives from his fanny pack, Alph shoves them into the same tree, beginning to rapidly climb up and away before Champ Fire can finish advancing on him. As Alph disappears into the foliage above, Champ Fire addresses him in the same cheerfully out of place tone. "Be sure to clean up food and cooking supplies after every meal--otherwise you can attract bears or other animals!" 3:36 Alph is running across branches, awkwardly hopping from tree to tree to try and clear some distance and get his wits about him. He can hear Champ Fire just below him in hot pursuit. "When buying wood from roadside stands, only buy them from covered stands to ensure your wood is dry and ready for burning!" The trees in the area aren''t even made of wood, but instead covered with some thin, plastic-like material. 4:57 Seeing the glow directly below him, Alph bites the bullet and dives off his current branch, knives out. Champ Fire leaps back and, with an impressive swing, bats Alph straight through one (thin) tree and directly into a second (larger) tree. The prinny impacts with a dull thud and enough force to make him drop both knives before he falls to the ground. 5:05 Alph barely manages to get up by a ten count. Champ Fire has advanced upon his position, hobbling slightly with a half-removed leg. Champ Fire does not appear too heavily affected by the wound, otherwise. 5:09 "Make sure your tent is not at the lowest spot on the site," says Champ Fire as he leers down at the heaving prinny. "Water has a tendency to pool--" He''s interrupted when Alph throws a handful of snow and dirt into his foe''s burning visage, stunning and sending Champ Fire stumbling backward. Drawing yet more knives, Alph charges, latching onto Champ Fire''s leg and resuming his earlier attempt to saw it off. 5:26 "Just because your campfire embers aren¡¯t visibly glowing doesn''t mean the campfire is dead!" With another, noticeably weaker kick, Champ Fire sends Alph hurdling away--with part of his wooden leg in tow. 5:48 Champ Fire begins to advance on Alph again, now with a little over half of one leg missing and a knife stuck in his other leg. "Embers can stay hot for days! Be thorough when cleaning up your campfire!" He has not slowed down at all, in spite of everything; he uses his bat like a crutch, but moves at the exact same speed, with the exact same cadence to his camping advice--a facet that does not seem lost on the increasingly weary Alph. 6:01 Champ Fire goes on the offensive, attempting to pin Alph down with what remains of his wooden limbs; Alph fights back with a knife in one hand and Champ''s stolen leg in the other. Closer to the ground because of his uneven legs, Champ Fire begins to use his flaming head more in combat--lunging forward for makeshift headbutts and swinging his face dangerously close to Alph''s. 10:44 Alph''s makeshift bludgeon catches fire from Champ Fire''s head; Alph, narrowly dodging more kicks and bat swings, uses it to light up the rest of Champ''s body. It takes several attempts and a little while to get going, but eventually, Champ Fire is himself on fire. 12:13 Cold, sore and exhausted, Alph steps back and looks over the destruction he hath wrought. Pieces of chopped up and burning wood are everywhere, including the one still clutched in Alph''s hand. Champ Fire''s... er... campfire portion sits limbless, crackling and smoldering but otherwise incapable of movement. As snow falls upon it, the main flame begins to die down. Champ Fire''s expression fades, reducing its once leering countenance to a normal and fairly subdued conflagration. Alph''s own face shifts as what he''s done steadily sinks in. Back in the arena, the judges begin the ten count. 12:20 The flaming log that Alph is currently holding smiles at him. "It may feel silly at first, but practice setting up your tent at home! If you--" Alph yells and drops the torch. 12:22 He yells again, 12:25 then a third, louder and longer, as he dashes into the woods to put as much distance as he can between himself and the new Champ Fire. It''s hard to gauge how much is fear and how much is frustration, or if there''s even a difference at this point; Alph just runs for it, or at least, as much as he can with as hurt as he is--limping blindly through brush and snow. "I''ll camp! I''ll fish, dood, I''ll make s''mores, just get me away from this thing! I didn''t sign up for deathmatches, dood! I didn¡¯t sign up for this!" Winner: Champ Fire by Tap Out in 12:25 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï MATCH #3 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï The Spirit of Phlox vs Rin Natsuki 0:00 We return to the airship, and to the third bout of the evening. With the ringing of the bell, the yokai Rin Natsuki wastes no time hurling bombs across the ring at her opponent--the Spirit of Phlox, an incorporeal, almost vaporous entity. Both fighters were eliminated from the Worlds Championship tournament last week, and while the Phlox entity doesn''t seem entirely aware that she''s even in a match, Rin definitely looks a little more focused. 0:10 Rin''s bombs start going off--and while the first seems to have the effect she anticipated (dispersing some of the smoky substance that comprises Phlox), the second and third bombs... do not. This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source. The second bomb''s explosion appears to be partially absorbed, going off with a muffled sound and a reduced explosion--and instead, Phlox distinctly glows, and swells in size. The third bomb explodes with its full capacity--in a cone shape, angled dangerously close to Rin''s general direction and forcing her to move (slightly) to avoid the blast. This maneuver, too, appears to increase Phlox''s overall size and... volatility. 1:00 Rin, seemingly inspired, hurls a bomb outside the ring--but to her dismay, Phlox does not give chase. ...Instead, with Phlox''s current size, the entity is able to catch the scant edge of the explosion and drain the remainder of it from a relatively safe distance. Phlox grows again, sparking and swirling, expanding to take over more and more of the ring. While Rin could theoretically keep this up to force a ring out (once Phlox is too big for the ring), it wouldn''t leave Rin much in the way of safe space herself--not to mention her limited supply of explosives, something that helped lead to her downfall last week. 1:25 Phlox''s growth appears to be more than aesthetic. Smaller explosions are beginning to emanate from her--not appearing to be aimed at all, but with her present size compared to the ring, Natsuki is still forced to avoid the random blast zones at Phlox''s rim. 3:12 Rin continues to maneuver around random detonations as they burst forth from the formless Phlox. For some inexplicable reason, the Spirit of Phlox is now increasing--ever so slightly--of its own volition. The change is slight, but even with the supply of bombs cut off, Phlox is still growing in size and becoming more volatile. Rin''s expression implies that she''s thinking--strategizing--but it''s difficult to do with Phlox becoming self sustaining. 4:48 Some of the lights in the arena flicker. The audience begins to murmur; it''s starting to look like Phlox isn''t self sustaining at all, but may have grown large/powerful enough to start draining the recording and lighting equipment around the ring itself. Rin, too, seems to realize this; she narrows her focus. The clouds overhead begin to swirl, the wind starting to pick up. Whatever Rin is trying to do, she''s forced to try and do it while avoiding more frequent and more sizable outbursts from the swelling Phlox. 6:33 The wind picks up substantially. The temperature in the arena drops at a frantic rate. Seemingly fueled further by the sudden changes, Phlox expands to cover almost half the ring. The airship underneath begins to make unfortunate noises, to the dismay of arena staff and the excitement of the live audience. Staff begin to rush elsewhere to make sure the whole arena isn''t going down. 8:04 With gritted teeth and a change in posture, Rin Natsuki pushes her hands outward--and a massive gust rocks the airship as it passes, sleet and snow sweeping over the deck of the ship. It''s gone from a light, chilly breeze to nearly a full blown blizzard in less than ten minutes; hats and papers are flying everywhere, the thrilled crowd is growing in their actual concern, and Phlox is nearly blown right out of the ring. 8:47 Nearly, but not quite. Having lost her previous fight to a similar tactic, perhaps the elemental has learned--or maybe she''s just too strong at this point in the fight to be pushed around so easily. Phlox twists and smolders--and as the wind blows, Phlox blows back, contorting herself into a counter gale that manages to keep its position in the ring. The Spirit draws harder on the combustible activities of the airship itself, which begins to tilt and shake as Phlox forms a tighter, more cohesive... phloxnado with the given blizzard. 10:09 Rin continues to boost the blizzard, hoping the next extra inch will be enough to overpower Phlox, but Phlox has enough energy from both the transitioning weather and the airship itself to stay in the game--it''s a stalemate, and while Rin is struggling to keep the storm going, Phlox is only getting bigger and wilder. It''s becoming difficult to tell where the blizzard ends and the Spirit begins, at this point. 12:29 The crowd and arena staff begin to panic in earnest as the airship dips. People are holding onto their seats, equipment is falling over, and the airship that the ring is set upon the deck of is now banking ever so slightly toward the cityscape below. With her expression sinking faster than the arena, Rin relinquishes the blizzard. 12:45 The lights in the arena are now more off than on. People in the stands are praying and calling their loved ones. The cameras are mostly picking up static, and audio is pretty much gone. The judges are having a heated argument about whether or not to call the match early. Rin Natsuki is no longer visible in the midst of all the wind and snow and chaos. Almost nothing is visible past the ever denser, ever larger phenomenon that is the Spirit of Phlox. 13:00 The Phlox-storm monstrosity now takes up the entire ring... and inarguably, the floor outside of it. The judges call for the bell, and Phlox''s team rush the ring to contain their fighter. There''s a very real chance that Rin is no longer aboard the airship, and it may take a while to figure out which of the two competitors technically left the ring first-- 17:37 Power starts to come back as Phlox is finally restrained and removed from the ring with specially designed alchemical equipment. The ship begins to straighten out and correct its course. The audience steps back from the edge of outright rioting. The lights flicker back on, and recording equipment is restored. 20:02 As the swirling snow fades away and the ring becomes visible again... so does Rin Natsuki, who had frozen her feet to the ring in all the madness. Realizing that she''s still in the ring and Phlox is not--and that the entire airship has NOT in fact plummeted into the city below--Rin gives a relieved sigh and a small fist pump. Winner: Rin Natsuki by Ring Out in (technically) 13:00 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï While the arena staff scramble to make sure everything''s still kosher (and to double check all the live audience are still live, and not dead (and that everyone signed a waiver before boarding the airship)), a pre-recorded video from earlier today is played over the arena''s various screens and fed directly to the fine folks at home. "How do I tell if this thing is recording?" A solid block of yellowish-green. "A green dot- ah, silly me, covering up the lens..." The screen clears up to reveal a lizardgirl with pea green scales, vibrating in place. She waves to the audience. "Heya friends! Caxi here, managed to score myself more screen time, or at least my manager did. Apparently I just do stuff in front of the camera and we get more points to buy stuff with! I wanna get a new teammate! No, wait, a fun item! Actually, maybe a teammate..." Something about ''rambling'' and ''limited time'' is said offscreen. "Fine, fine, I''ll stop. Anyways, I did plan on doing something fun today, other than fighting, of course." She picks up the camera, bringing it to a hallway with a particularly low ceiling. "I''ve been wanting to do this since I got the portal gun..." Visible excitement as portals are placed directly above one another, with a blue hole on the floor and orange on the ceiling. The camera is raised over the portal by a very enthusiastic tail. "Here we go!" The view is of the hallway, plummeting from top to bottom, steadily gaining speed. Caxi''s voice is heard vibrating, probably a product of the infinite falling loop. "Woah that''s dizzying... And I jump through those things daily..." Half the audience is still watching, caught by the almost hypnotic repeating descent. The other half is trying to not throw up. More muffled speech from offscreen. "Don''t worry, I''m sure it''s fine. Probably." A glimpse of her shrugging is caught. "Besides, what''s the worst that can happen? It moves over to the side and slams into the ground at terminal velocity? I dropped it in perfectly straight, I prom-" A loud crunching is heard, followed by a pitch-black screen. ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï MATCH #4 - TOURNAMENT SEMI-FINALS ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï AGINT vs Leith 0:00 The live feed returns... more or less. The audio is having definite issues and sometimes the feed cuts to static. The airship itself sometimes shudders with the rare, brief drop, prompting some unwanted thrills from the still shaken audience. The show must go on, though, and the bell rings to start the fourth fight of the episode. 0:10 AGINT and Leith appear to be having a conversation, but the mics can''t pick it up; the commentators helpfully try to explain how every fighter in Arena Arcadia is equipped with something called a regalia--a weapon or artifact of bygone days, often from legends or famous stories. AGINT is well aware of how dangerous Leith''s regalia actually is--a weapon powerful enough that she risked losing her match last week to keep it hidden. Leith responds-- 1:29 Static. 1:34 A technical difficulties message. 3:00 Live feed. AGINT is doing something to the audio--not the arena or the camera''s audio, but the local audio, interrupting Leith''s ability to-- 3:03 Static. 3:12 Cut to commercials. 7:36 Technical difficulties message. 12:40 Leith, in her horse form, kicks AGINT''s server with both back legs. He relents as she rises up to stomp on his largest blinking light. There are, inexplicably, a large number of broken roombas scattered about the ring. The audio and video appear to have mostly stabilized. A great deal of strangeness has gone on, but Leith continues to the finals to compete for the Worlds Championship next week. Winner: Leith by Tap Out in 12:40 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï MAIN EVENT - TOURNAMENT SEMI-FINALS ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï Douglas vs Caxi 0:00 It''s the main event and the semi-finals of the Worlds Championship tournament--and neither fighter is here to mess around. Caxi is on the offensive from the moment the bell rings, leaping and rolling, making fairly risk averse strikes on Douglas with her claws and tail. She seems to be gauging his defenses--and at first, the 13 foot hivemind struggles to keep up with the speed of the lizardgirl''s attacks. The excitement from the audience is building rapidly, many of them having seen Caxi''s impressive performance last week; aiding the enthusiasm of the crowd is Caxi''s constant taunting of Douglas. "Try to keep up, wormbrains!" 2:50 Douglas starts to catch onto the pace of the fight. Using broader sweeps with the insane reach of his double-sided lance, the Big D begins to minimize the space that Caxi has access to--even getting a few minor knicks on her as she gets more and more ambitious with her strikes. Caxi, for her part, is landing plenty of hits on Douglas--but even as she starts to take more risks and hit him harder, it accomplishes little. Douglas'' armor is too resilient--her claws do little more than leave scratches. 6:15 Douglas is getting more aggressive, now confident in the resilience their armor provides them. Caxi responds by whipping out her portal gun, frantically throwing herself from one side of her opponent to the other in addition to her natural acrobatics--still hitting Douglas with claw and tail, 7:32 but almost entirely as a distraction. Once Douglas is thoroughly struggling to keep up with Caxi''s location, she latches onto him, shoving her claws into the more flexible material between Doug''s armored plates. She manages to almost rip a piece of Douglas'' armor entirely off before she''s forced to withdraw from her opponent''s reach, back into her unrelenting portal spam and unpredictable flipping about. The audience, by this stage, is losing their minds--cheering on the spectacle that is Caxi''s wild offense. 9:24 A whole piece of armor comes loose. Douglas is bleeding a bright orange. Though they may be a faceless gestalt of extraterrestrial worms, Douglas'' frustration is palpable. They swing wide, they swing hard, they swing fast--but Caxi is everywhere and nowhere, popping in and out of reality like a ghost, exposing her much larger foe one fragment at a time. 12:50 More armor is coming loose, but Caxi is slowing. It takes a great deal of effort to pry Douglas'' shell apart, and that strain is catching up to her. More worms are cut loose, more blood is drawn; for the first time in two episodes, Douglas is audible, a low grumbling welling up from the humanoid mass of semi-armored worms--though it''s barely heard over the cheers of the crowd, who are increasingly drawn into Caxi''s flashy attempts to take the giant down. 14:19 Caxi grabs a hold of Douglas'' arm, and shoves her claws between the plates of the titan''s glove. Douglas lets out a full scale roar that stuns the live crowd into a moment of silence; as the amalgam drops their symmetrical lance, Caxi swings her whole body around Doug''s massive arm, kicking the weapon away way with both feet. The lance is sent hurtling across the ring, tumbling toward the edge and well away from the melee. "Hah!," Caxi declares, "can''t do THAT with claws!" 14:24 Douglas is enraged; the exposed worms that still remain intact in the fighter are visibly agitated. Caxi lets go of the damaged arm and attempts to slip into one of her portals--but Douglas catches her by the tail before she can fully disappear. "Nonono, not the tail--" 14:26 Douglas jerks her backward by the tail... and then into the air, swinging her overhead before slamming her into the ring''s surface. 14:30 Douglas slams her a second time. 14:33 Douglas goes for a third slam, but Caxi manages to fire another portal off at the last second and slip out of her opponent''s grasp; the damage done to Douglas'' hand is taking its toll. She emerges from her other portal a decent distance away, trying to get her wits back about her, but Douglas is already advancing rapidly. 15:01 Caxi attempts to go back on the offensive with her portal jumps, but it''s clear that she''s hurt; she''s slower to react, sloppier in her movements. Even through the pain, however, she seems to maintain her spirit, keeping the crowd behind her. "Is that all you got?" 16:12 Douglas, now relying on only their fists, manages to catch the leaping Caxi with a glancing blow. Caxi is sent hurdling in one direction, the portal gun in another--out of the ring entirely, in fact. The judges start the count. 16:17 Caxi rises at the count of five. She spits out a mouthful of blood. "Maybe I shouldn''t have asked..." The fight becomes a straight up boxing match, with a weary Caxi trying to bob and weave through Douglas'' massive punches to claw at their meatier bits. It''s an impressive show of grit, but the crowd has fallen quiet--on the edge of their seats, holding their collective breath. 20:21 A right cross from Douglas puts Caxi back on the floor. 20:28 Caxi gets to her hands and knees; Douglas punts her across the side of the head before she can finish getting to her feet. The judges begin the ten count once again. Audience members are yelling for Caxi to get up, but she isn''t moving. 20:38 Caxi does not get up again. The bell is rung; the fans begin to actually boo, shouting and throwing empty cups and popcorn bags at Douglas. The Hunter, bleeding out of broken armor, seems unaffected by the volatile reaction of the crowd. Douglas moves on to the Worlds Championship tournament finals next week. Winner: Douglas by Knock Out in 20:38 NEXT WEEK: The tournament concludes! Douglas vs Leith to decide the first Arena Arcadia Worlds Champion! All that and more in Episode 3! Episode 3: No Gods, No Kings, November Live From The Greece Of Old (You Know The One I Mean) Arena Arcadia Presents Episode 3: NO GODS, NO KINGS, NOVEMBER Sunday, November 8, 2020 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï INTRODUCTION ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï We open to the mild, slightly wet weather of the Mediterranean (circa 800 BC). This week the seating arrangements of the live crowd are more Panathenaic in structure, but otherwise the stadium setup is the same: ring, surrounded by Out-of-Bounds zone, surrounded by camera crews and audience members. No robots in the crowd this time, though there are a few satyrs and a dryad present. Without messing around we get right to the first match. ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï OPENING MATCH ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï The Spirit of Phlox vs Alph the Prinny, Dood 0:00 The bell rings and Alph is already alternating between outright panicking and complaining about the situation to whoever will listen. "DOOD, COME ON! I can''t fight this, dood! This is a cloud, my doods?!" 0:30 Alph is forced to begin retreating as Phlox advances. Alph is still shouting about how "First it was a computer, dood! Then a campfire? And now THIS, dood?!?!" The commentators point out that, despite any obvious power differences, Alph and Phlox are the only two fighters on the roster with two losses and zero wins; this match is to act as a sort of tie breaker. 3:17 Alph is still retreating, though the speed at which they''re doing so has steadily increased as the Spirit''s gained on them. Alph has thrown a few knives, which whirled hopelessly through the vaporous Phlox; aside from that, the majority of the fight has been the prinny frantically fleeing the elemental, running a literal circle around the outskirts of the ring. The audience is starting to boo. 5:32 Phlox is actually starting to dim, the formation of the smoke-like phenomenon growing more erratic in its motions. The commentators hesitate to claim she''s getting tired and/or hungry, but they also struggle for a more technical way to explain it. 8:21 Alph is also starting to get worn out from running. The crowd is now throwing sodas and popcorn bags at Alph, and this show just started--it''s all full. Phlox is... visibly struggling to stay existent. As much as it can be said that she ever appeared to breathe, she now commits to a behavior not unlike panting or wheezing as she very subtly shrinks in size. The display seems to unnerve Alph a little. 10:09 Alph, getting a little distance between themselves and Phlox, begins to dig around in their fanny pack. 10:14 Alph, with a sudden improvement in expression, draws and throws a single knife at the advancing Phlox-- 10:14 And somehow... it cuts her. The knife visibly slices through the otherwise incorporeal Spirit of Phlox, tearing its way straight through her non-solid body before bursting out the other side. While what remains of the ethereal entity does react quite dramatically, it''s difficult to pin any particular emotion to it. 10:17 Alph, after a moment of looking quite stunned themselves, presses the attack--hurling one knife after another, rapidly shredding the Spirit of Phlox. Team Echo throw in the proverbial towel and call for the bell; the audience and commentary team both are bewildered, unable to explain Alph''s sudden ability to damage their previously untouchable opponent. Phlox''s team, likewise, are talking amongst themselves quite furiously. The judges make their call, however. Winner: Alph the Prinny, Dood by Tap Out in 10:17 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï SHENANIGANS AFOOT ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï Backstage, the Administration is on the phone. "You cannot be serious. You... you are. You''re serious. It''s going to be the hazard match this week? ... Did you ask the team, or-- ... They SUGGESTED it? ... She AGREED to it?! Don''t get me wrong, the crowd''s going to love it, I''m just saying that if it were me in there-- ... yeah, one moment." Someone who is very clearly a lawyer (one can look, and just know) strolls into the office, calmly handing the Administration a manilla envelope. The lawyer smiles, and then takes her exit. The Administration opens the envelope and begins to inspect the various Polaroid photographs it contains. He returns his attention to the phone. "...I''m going to have to call you back. We may have a problem." ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï MATCH #2 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï Theodore Oakley vs Champ Fire 0:00 The bell rings, and the ghoul from the wastes is doing his best not to be thrown off by the Champion of Camping. "If you can," says Champ Fire proudly, "avoid camping in Athens during July or August. That''s when temperatures reach their hottest!" Oakley chuckles, and confusedly thanks him for the advice. 1:04 Oakley, seeming to give up on trying to read the unreadable, moves in--keeping his guard up but going on the offensive. Champ Fire, despite his almost comical appearance (as a walking campfire with a face), responds in kind. It''s a surprisingly fast paced start to an unusual matchup; Oakley demonstrates his skill, fencing with his umbrella, but Champ Fire is fast, hits hard, has literal chunks of wood for arms and legs and is armed with a blaseball bat. 5:38 Champ Fire has Oakley on the back foot; the old timey ghoul starts to lose ground as the living campfire becomes more aggressive with roundhouse kicks, bat swings and flaming headbutts. Champ strikes with enough force that Theodore can barely block against it, instead being forced to wear himself down dodging every attack. "The great thing about backpacking is that you can diversify your trip!," announces Champ Fire. "In addition to the mainland, try exploring some of the local islands!" 8:55 Oakley, more than a little self conscious of how he lost his match to Crown Chaser last week, grows more visibly aggressive as he nears the ring''s edge. He takes a few hits outright from Champ Fire in a gambit to lose no further ground--getting kicked in the leg and opposite arm by Champ''s sturdy wooden limbs, but grimacing through the pain and pressing onward, away from the out-of-bounds zone. 12:13 Champ Fire is undeterred. "If you''re uncomfortable camping out in the wild," he says, "you can always look for organized camping sites at your choice destination. It can be a great way to meet other campers!" He throws a thrust kick that rockets his opponent backward, dropping Oakley to a knee and nearly propelling him out of the ring entirely. The ghoul''s as close to the edge now as it gets without being over said edge. 12:14 Champ Fire follows through, rushing forward with frightening speed and an unchanging smile. At the last possible second, Oakley flips his umbrella, hooks the oncoming Champ, and uses the creature''s momentum to swing them straight out of the ring and to the floor. He almost loses his balance in the process, not to mention almost eating another high powered kick to the chest--but he remains in the ring, and Champ Fire does not. Winner: Theodore Oakley by Ring Out in 12:14 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï SHENANIGANS AFOOT, CONTINUED ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï The camera cuts once again to the Administration''s office, where the bandaged man in a suit is now sitting at his desk. With hands folded and eyes(?) forward, he addresses the world. "While it''s a less publicized aspect of the rules here in Arena Arcadia, every competitor agrees to register any weapons above a certain baseline for technological advancement or general capability--what is referred to in the fighters'' contracts as regalia. All regalia MUST be registered with Arcadia officials, not just for the sake of fairness and proper booking, but for safety and security reasons. We don''t want fighters bringing nuclear armaments or the Necronomicon into an opening bout with a packed crowd. Every regalia, regardless of its nature or origin, is subject to the judges'' discretion--but the judges need to know about the regalia before they can become involved. That being said..." The Administration gives a small sigh. He hesitates, just a little, before pulling out several photographs and displaying them for the camera; pictured is one Alph the Prinny (dood) in what appears to be a parking garage, receiving steak knives from a shadowy figure in a trenchcoat. "...In the opening match, Alph the Prinny utilized an unregistered regalia--+1 Knives of Ghostbusting, I''m told. While the judges missed this, I can''t in good conscience allow it to go unchecked. Thus, I am hereby ruling that Alph''s win will be stricken from the record, and the knives in question will be confiscated by Arena Arcadia staff. Officially, the winner of the opening contest tonight is hereby changed to Phlox via DQ. Thank you for your time, and we apologize for the interruption." ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï MATCH #3 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï AGINT & Caxi vs Crown Chaser & Rin Natsuki 0:00 The commentators note two things: one, that team or "tagteam" matches in Arena Arcadia don''t require tagging; unlike similar matches in professional wrestling, all fighters compete in the ring simultaneously. In addition, group-based matches in Arcadia are NOT elimination style--so if even one fighter is knocked out, ringed out, tapped out or DQ''d, the fight is called then and there. AGINT arrives slightly late... in a new body. An actual mechanical body, and not just a server this time--and an actual body clutching an ancient sword, at that. "Shouldn''t that be in a box?," Crown Chaser comments with a smirk. The bell rings, and the fight commences. 0:03 Crown Chaser begins to make another joke, but Caxi has already started crossing the ring. Rin is hurling bombs, but--not wanting to hit herself, or her partner--her bombs at thrown to mid-range, sufficient for keeping AGINT at bay; Caxi uses her portal gun to close the distance, bypassing the mid-ring explosions to get right in Chaser''s face. 1:38 Caxi is having a surprisingly difficult time dealing with Chaser. A vampire, his speed and reaction time are easily a match for Caxi''s, and in a flat and empty ring her portal gun can only accomplish so much. He draws blood from the lizardgirl, getting in several good cuts with his sword as she bursts from her portals. AGINT is still trying to maneuver across the battlefield, against icy winds, a partially frozen floor, and a large supply of Rin''s explosives. 5:05 Crown Chaser is just beginning to really put the hurt on Caxi when AGINT reaches the melee, slamming into the Ventrue with his now slightly damaged robot body. AGINT, fighting icy joints and a smoking hole in his shoulder, signals for a switch in dance partners. Caxi, full of slashes from trying to outmaneuver Crown Chaser, nods and heads for Rin while AGINT confronts the vampire. 5:26 Despite her injuries, Caxi''s speed and portal gun still prove quite a method for getting into Rin Natsuki''s personal space. Crown Chaser drops a few more quips about AGINT''s new form; AGINT swings his sword, Crown Chaser blocks with his own-- and finds his crimson blade cut cleanly in half. And also, discovers a rather hefty gash across his chest. Chaser''s smile disappears, and his joking abruptly halts. The vampire realizes he does not, in fact, want to fight the robot. 8:15 The fight has devolved into madness. Grabbing the broken half of his sword, Crown Chaser attempts to abandon the melee with AGINT--instead pursuing the lizard, and yelling at his own partner to cover him (so as to prevent AGINT from interfering). Rin''s attention is divided between trying to keep AGINT off of CC, and trying to keep Caxi off of Rin herself--a difficult feat, as Caxi uses her portals to go blasting in and out of Natsuki''s massive ice pillars, to completely ignore the frozen floors, and to dodge every barrage of icicles coming her way. AGINT is blaring Yakety Sax from his built in speakers. 12:33 The temperature in the entire ring area has plummeted. Crown Chaser''s inhuman balance proves perfect for physically walking the frozen floor, but the various structures of ice that have been sprouting up still have to be navigated with some difficulty. AGINT has cranked his music up so loud that the other team can''t coordinate--but neither can his. He mostly operates independently, attempting to herd Chaser and Rin while Caxi leaps in and out of existence, basically using AGINT for cover. ...And a jumping off point. 13:20 Chaser manages to get a good cut on Caxi--and another, and another, each strike (with a broken blade, no less) healing his own wounds. Caxi trades blows with him, clawing wildly at the vampire, but with the power of his blood sword he''s rapidly outhealing the damage and winning the confrontation. Rin is lost in the smoke and ice trying to catch up with a fight that keeps moving, and AGINT is juuust catching up to the melee again himself. Every fighter in the ring looks like they''ve been through Hell; Caxi is bleeding out from all her sword slashes and nearly losing an arm, AGINT is half frozen and half exploded, Rin is nursing claw marks from Caxi and though Chaser''s damage has entirely healed, well... his expensive shirt is just, ruined 13:45 Caxi, in a last ditch effort as she struggles to remain standing, creates a portal in the ceiling above the out-of-bounds zone... and a second portal under Crown Chaser, who has almost fully recovered via his regalia. Chaser, having regained his pre-fight levels of confidence, doesn''t notice what''s going on until he''s already exiting the ring. 13:46 Relinquishing his sword as he drops through the portal, Crown Chaser reaches out blindly with both hands for something, anything, to hold onto--and grabs the stable, icy legs of the recently arrived AGINT. AGINT begins to stab Chaser and kick him back down into the portal (and out of the ring), however-- Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit. 13:48 AGINT is caught at the edge of a blast zone... from the last bomb in Rin Natsuki''s arsenal. She watches from a safe distance (having followed the Yakety Sax to its source) as AGINT loses balance and topples over, nearly getting dumped through Caxi''s portal but catching onto the edge (with Crown Chaser still hanging off of AGINT, the two of them dangling from the portal in the ceiling and over the no-go zone), and 13:52 Crown Chaser climbs up the hanging AGINT, out of the portal and back into the ring. As he''s unarmed, the wounded Caxi has absolutely no issue making a run at him to shove the vampire back into the hole-- 13:55 She sinks her claws into Chaser, forcing him backward. He grits his teeth... and wraps his arms around Caxi, essentially suplexing her backward--into the hole, and into the still hanging AGINT. All three fighters go tumbling from the ceiling to the floor outside the ring. 14:05 With a loud, dull thud, Crown Chaser lands atop AGINT and Caxi. Rin Natsuki remains in the ring, blinking slowly. "D... did we win? I think we just won...?" Winners: Crown Chaser & Rin Natsuki by Ring Out in 14:05 ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï SHENANIGANS AFOOT III: THE REVENGE ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï Once again, we find ourselves at the Administration''s desk. Despite having a fully covered face, he looks very tired. "The earlier altering of the record must be... err... double altered. Re-altered." He pulls out a second, newer manilla folder, revealing it to also be full of blurry Polaraoid pictures; this time, the photos depict some manner of alchemical laboratory, where members of Team Echo are incorporating... something, the contents of a withered bag, into a contained and restrained Spirit of Phlox. "Alph the Prinny utilized an unregistered regalia in this evening''s opening bout, acquired from an unknown third party. It has now been brought to my attention that the Spirit of Phlox, too, has been equipped with an unregistered regalia for at least the last two of her matchups, and with a regalia provided by Phlox''s own sponsors, Team Echo. With that said..." Big sigh. He leans back in his office chair, pinching at the bridge of his nose. "...Phlox''s recently dictated win over Alph must also be stricken from the record, as Team Echo''s fighter should also be disqualified for this behavior. Thus, I am ruling that both fighters will go down in the record books as having lost the fight. Both teams were well aware of the rules, and I''m not going to dignify the outcome by calling it a draw. Team Echo has since registered the regalia in question. They''re allowed to continue using it--as Team Echo can''t figure out how to remove it from the Spirit--but they''re on thin ice regarding weapon registry." The Administration straightens up in his chair, staring more intently into the camera. "Moving forward, I will be attaching major fines to the inappropriate handling of a fighter''s regalia. Unregistered weapons in official, non-hazard bouts WILL be punished, and wins gained fraudulently WILL be stricken from the record. Any information regarding this matter, and any parties associated with it, would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your patience in this matter; without further ado, Arena Arcadia would like to present your main event for this evening--the tournament finals, a hazard match for the Worlds Championship." ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï TOURNAMENT FINALS - WORLDS CHAMPIONSHIP - HAZARD DIVISION ¡ï ¡ï ¡ï Leith vs Douglas 0:00 We leave the relative safety of the arena, the camera cutting instead to a battleground very much off the beaten path: a rickety dock off the coast of the river Styx. On one end of the dock: Leith, kelpie, unknown potential. Her regalia is registered with arena officials, but she has yet to demonstrate it on television; last week, AGINT implied it''s something potent, however. On the other end of the dock: Douglas, the 13 foot tall Mgalekgolo or Hunter. They are the only fighter to compete in the Worlds Championship tournament with not one but two legal regalia: their armor, and a massive double sided lance. The scene is quiet, save the creaking of rotting wood, the flow of the river and the swinging of ancient lanterns in a stiff, chilling breeze. The referee rings the bell; Leith charges her enormous opponent. 1:15 Leith won her first fight in the tournament versus Rin Natsuki with grappling, and kicks--however, they prove ineffectual against the other finalist. Douglas'' armor has joints, but the hivemind themselves do not--they are alien and worm-like, undeterred by a chokehold or an armbar, not to mention gigantic as a composite. There is nothing worth grabbing, no segment of the Hunter''s anatomy to wrench or break. Leith''s hooved kicks echo through the underground, but don''t leave so much as a scratch on Doug''s impressive armor. 3:40 Douglas almost seems to humor her, at first--or is perhaps just gauging her capability, letting Leith accost the hivemind at her own pace... for a little while. They begin to crank up the pressure, however--launching Leith back down the docks with a kick, almost taking her head off with a swipe of those symmetrical blades, putting her flat on her ass with a shoulder charge. ...Just enough to make it clear that Douglas is in control of this fight any moment they choose to be. 5:56 Leith is growing increasingly frustrated; her initial insults soon slur into nigh incomprehensibility as she curses out the giant Hunter. Douglas, too, appears frustrated (as far as Mgalekgolo body language is concerned; one likely has to take the commentators'' word for it), but in a different fashion--almost... impatient? Bored? 6:02 Abruptly switching gears, Douglas grabs an attacking Leith by the face and proceeds to slam her straight through the dock, into the waters below. The judges begin the ten count a moment after she disappears below the murky surface. 6:06 A furious Leith explodes out of the water, launching like a torpedo into a thunderous dropkick. The speed and power of the attack (not to mention the angle) come as such a shock that Douglas actually stumbles, nearly toppling over with the force. Leith hits the dock, rolls, and dives back into the other side of the river before the Hunter can counter. 6:40 To the surprise of very few, the kelpie is much, much faster in the water. Using hit and run tactics, she repeatedly blasts out of the river Styx, bounces off Douglas'' back or kicks them across the face or dropkicks them in the legs, then dives straight back into the river. If not for the big D''s sheer size and strength, they''d have already been launched off the docks and dragged into the water themselves (which is, as the commentators rightfully point out, the last place Douglas wants to be against Leith). 7:07 Douglas, sporting experience in dealing with similar guerrilla tactics in their previous match against Caxi, is beginning to catch on. Leith launches out of the water but, rather than getting an opportunity to attack, is forced to mid-air dodge a huge swing from Douglas. The fight begins to swing back to a stalemate; Douglas'' attacks are big enough to effectively control the zone around them, but Leith comes in too hot for Douglas to get a real hit off. 8:55 Leith is wearing down faster than Douglas is. In a last ditch effort, Leith launches straight up through the dock, rocking Douglas with an uppercut; in a rare display for the monstrous combatant, Douglas teeters back... and drops to one knee, leaning on their weapon like a crutch. However, as Leith tumbles back downward... 8:56 Douglas, staggered and a little punch drunk, nonetheless powers through and charges forward--and catches Leith out of the air. They slam her, hard enough to crack the dock but not put her through it--once, twice-- 9:02 Rather than go for a third slam, Douglas hurls Leith back down the dock... almost, roughly, to where she began the fight. The Hunter''s stance is a little less refined, their movements not as tight--but their armor is immaculate, and they are back quite confidently to their feet. Leith is down, bruised and bleeding. The judges start the count. 9:08 With a groan, Leith forces herself to her feet. Though Douglas has no real face to speak of--and certainly no visible eyes--they almost seem to... stare. Expectantly. Anticipating something that has yet to come. 9:13 Leith huffs. She grumbles that she hasn''t been hiding her regalia, she just... really, really hates using it. Douglas does not reply. 9:21 After yelling a few more obscenities at both Douglas and the collective dark surrounding the battlefield, Leith begins to... sing? Through gritted teeth and heavy dialect, the lyrics are impossible to register, but something on the docks begins to stir. Douglas tilts their head, watching. Waiting. 9:37 Inexplicably, music begins to accompany Leith''s singing. Energy builds around her, taking a shape not unlike armor. Douglas tightens the grip on their symmetrical lance. 9:44 Leith gradually becomes more confident in her song--her voice coming through clearer, louder, her anger infusing the words with a tangible power. The armor solidifies, as does a gigantic sword in her now gloved hands. 9:50 Douglas charges. Leith, now fully decked out in her symphogear, stands her ground; the big D takes a huge swing with their double bladed lance, and with her ridiculous sword, Leith blocks it. 9:56 The dock shakes beneath the force as the fighters go swing for swing, symmetrical lance against giant sword. Leith is singing the entire time as she blocks every blow, and Douglas accordingly manages to block every strike of her''s. The river beneath them crashes, as though a storm is forming beneath the earth. 10:11 The music is growing more intense, accompanied by more invisible instruments and a phantom techno beat. In a shocking demonstration of speed, Leith slips past a broad swing from Douglas to plant a jumpkick in the hivemind''s chest--and sends their hulking form skidding backward. 10:13 Douglas begins committing more to each attack, rushing, throwing themselves into the fray, their symmetrical lance tearing up the dock as they swing hard and wide--controlling the zone, keeping Leith back and out of proper melee range. 10:17 Leith begins relying more on her speed and agility to get in, rather than brute forcing through the Hunter''s attacks--and proves that she is more than capable of dancing between Doug''s strikes, leaping through the air, shooting behind the hulk and delivering rapid strikes to D''s side and back while the titan struggles to keep up with her movements. 13:37 After repeated feints, distracting kicks and a bewildering series of movements, Leith--leaping high into the air--brings her sword straight down upon Douglas. Once more, the Hunter is forced to one knee--this time with enough weight to crack the wood beneath them and to leave visible damage on the colossus themselves. Their visored helmet almost splits in half from the impact. 13:38 Following up with a twirl, a yell and a swing from the side, Leith propels Douglas across the dock. Douglas drops the lance entirely, landing on their back. The judges almost forget to start the count. 13:42 Douglas rises, and collects their lance. With the adrenaline fading and the pain catching up, Leith is clearly fighting to keep her song going. Her symphogear does not stop the blood from trickling out of her mouth, nor does it hide all the bruises from earlier in the fight. 13:45 Douglas adjusts their cracked helmet before charging. As they cross the most damaged section of the dock, it breaks beneath the big D''s weight; Douglas leaps off as the chunk of dock collapses below, catching a surprised Leith with a Muay Thai-esque knee across the face. Leith goes down, but not even long enough for the judges to count--she kips up, readies her enormous sword, and the two fighters resume trying to cut each other in half at a frankly inhuman pace. 18:58 Both fighters are breaking down rapidly. Every hit from Leith leaves a dent in Douglas'' armor, or a new chip in their lance; each hit from Douglas, likewise, is almost shattering portions of Leith''s armor, and testing the fortitude of her sword. Douglas moves like a combatant exhausted; Leith''s song is degrading into half-gasped syllables through gritted teeth. 20:42 Amidst all the brawling, one of the lanterns is broken off its pole alongside the dock; a blue blaze begins to build on one side of the fight, opposite the huge, broken gap overlooking the rushing river Styx. The battle is essentially trapped, and the fire is spreading rapidly down the dock. 23:02 The amount of dock still capable of being fought on is shrinking quickly, pushing Douglas closer and closer to the water. Leith is tiring out, but not fast enough for Douglas, who is beginning to lose whole pieces of plating to gunshot-like kicks and Leith''s enormous sword. 26:37 Douglas swings wide with their two-ended weapon, but they do far more than that: two of the worms that comprise Douglas escape the whole, throwing themselves in the path of the gestalt''s blade as it cuts through the air. As the two worms are slashed in half, seeming to sacrifice themselves to the weapon... D''s blades begin to glow. They follow through, bringing the ignited weapon at Leith-- 26:38 Leith leaps over the slash, as high as she can, uncertain of what power Douglas has just invoked. She brings her own weapon overhead, preparing to get the drop on the giant-- 26:39 Douglas relinquishes the lance mid-swing, practically hurling it with the force it was being brought around with. It''s a risky maneuver, powering up and tossing their own weapon as a bluff, but it works. Douglas, freed of its weight, shuffles to the side in the breath between moments. Leith sees the maneuver in motion, but she''s already coming down from the jump--it''s too late. For all her speed, for all her boosted reaction time, she lacks the air control to reposition or the immense strength required to bring such a titanic sword forward any faster than she is. The song chokes in her throat. 26:40 Douglas catches Leith out of the air with a single punch, square in the head. Her anthem, with all its accompaniment, abruptly screeches to a halt. The judges begin the count. 26:46 Douglas, bleeding out of broken armor, leans on one of the remaining lanterns. Leith is still down. 26:50 Leith has not moved. The bell rings. Douglas allows themselves to fall to their knees. Winner and New Worlds Champion: Douglas by Knock Out in 26:50