《I'm a Farmer》


 Im a Farmer

    They came in one morning at an early hour. The bells in the town started ringing as the riders on horseback came charging in. They were grotesque creatures. Goblins, orcs, and other monsters that served under the Demon King. They all swarmed into our town shortly after we had all finished working the fields.


    It was a slaughter.


    I¡¯m getting ahead of myself. I should go back a little in time to the morning prior.


    It was an average morning. Unlike any other. I woke up and immediately went into my morning routine. I jumped out of my rugged bedding, quickly donned my favorite straw hat, grabbed my favorite hoe, and was out the door to the field.


    My home was one of the unusual ones. Unlike the rest of the town, which was built close together, my home was built alone on the opposite side of the fields. I didn¡¯t mind. I was always able to get to work first thing in the morning. Since the rest of the town was built closer to the other side of the fields, I could spend good alone time caring for the crops closest to my home.


    I started driving my hoe into the ground to bring up the dirt. It was a labor-intensive job, but the years I¡¯d spent working in the fields had built my body well for the task.


    A couple of hours past and some of the other villagers began to reach closer to where I worked. They each paid no mind as their work brought them closer.


    ¡°Hello Crimson,¡± I managed to say in a friendly tone to one of the others. He was a young boy, the same age as me, I had known him for some time and would often try to join his group to play when we didn¡¯t have to tend to the fields.


    Crimson turned and looked in my direction. For a second it looked like his face became twisted in an unseemly manner, but I suspect it was a trick of the light, as he soon smiled and waved.


    ¡°Hello,¡± he said in a friendly tone before turning away and getting back to work. I smiled and began to get back to my work as well.


    It took several more hours for the entire group of farmers to finish tending to the field. Afterward, we happily headed into the main village. Most of the older farmers would go and enjoy a pleasant drink after working. Those of us that were younger would simply run around and play whatever game that we could.


    Crimson had already gathered the usual group. I walked over with a smile to join them.


    ¡°Alright, we¡¯ll play imperial soldier today!¡± Crimson was saying as I walked up. As I joined the circle some of the group looked at me.


    ¡°Crimson,¡± Leafy said in an odd tone after looking my direction. Crimson didn¡¯t respond to her but instead spoke to the whole group.


    ¡°Alright, we¡¯ll be the soldiers,¡± he said to the group, ¡°and you can be the invading monster,¡± he said pointing to me. I nodded with a smile. I was the best in the group at playing the monster. The others liked to joke that I may be an actual monster in real life. They¡¯re funny like that.


    The game was rather simple. As the monster, I had to try to get into their base and steal a rag that symbolized their flag. They, on the other hand, would try to stop me. The group armed themselves with sticks while I walked into the woods to count. They would need time to prep weapons to fight the monster. I didn¡¯t need to prepare anything since monsters in this game didn¡¯t carry weapons. I once tried to explain that some monsters might carry weapons, in order to make the game more interesting, but Crimson explained that the rules don¡¯t allow that.


    So, I went into the woods and began to count. I had to count to 1000 before the game could start. It was weird that the monster had to count to such a high number, real monsters would not be capable of such a feat, but I didn¡¯t mind. It was just an unfortunate technicality that required the game rules to work.


    When I finished counting, I didn¡¯t hesitate to run out of the woods. I would need speed to slip into their base and steal the ¡®flag¡¯. Otherwise, I would just take an instant blow and be down for the count. I charged out of the woods¡­ to nothing. They must have decided to move their base to somewhere farther away since they were no longer here. I smiled. They tried this trick before, and I always was able to find them. I would begin my search in the northern part of the village and work to the south. They didn¡¯t realize, but they tended to follow a pattern when they moved their base.


    One of the four members would pick a location to hide and they would rotate who picks. Crimson would pick in the north, Leafy would pick in the east, Aqua would pick to the west, and Pewter would pick to the south. They would always follow the pattern Crimson, Crimson, Leafy, Pewter, Leafy, Aqua, Pewter, Aqua when they picked. Today was Crimsons day.


    They, of course, were unaware that they followed this pattern which made them so easy to find. I didn¡¯t plan on telling them as it made finding their base easy to predict whenever I had to play the monster.


    I headed north, but the game had to end earlier than we planned. The invasion happened. They came in from the south, I only heard screams from behind me at first. I turned around and saw that the village behind me had been set on fire. I turned back and ran in the other direction. I had to warn my friends who were hiding.


    I ran down an empty street. People were screaming in the distance as I ran. Without stopping, I grabbed a hoe that was leaned up against a building on my way. It was not ideal, but I had to defend myself if the invaders found me.


    The group was by the northern well. Crimson liked to hide there when we played. Often when they defeated me, they would throw me down the well to celebrate. As a result, I had gotten fairly good at climbing up and down that well if needed.


    Sure enough, I found them by the well. The well was surrounded by an opening area where some grass was grown around it. Several benches and a few trees lined the area, and the area was easily accessible through several openings. It was not for the best that it was open, however. A group of goblins came through the northernmost entrance to this area as I came through the south. They must have started surrounding the town.


    The group reacted quickly and began to throw weak magic spells at the goblins. It seemed some of the magical training they had learned was now paying off. Crimson threw fireballs, Leafy grew vines to trip them, Aqua blasted them with water, and Pewter threw rocks without touching them. They were weak spells but given their age, it couldn¡¯t be helped. It was impressive enough they had been able to learn this level of magic at all. The real concern was with how uncoordinated they were as they threw their spells.Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    A goblin broke through their weak defenses and charged at Crimson with a copper sword pointed at his stomach. I burst forward and met the goblin¡¯s head with my hoe. The goblins screeched at me. Apparently, the one that had charged had been important. It fell to the ground as the group stared at me. It looked like there were 4 goblins remaining.


    ¡°You?¡± Crimson said.


    ¡°We have no time. Crimson use your flame magic to push them in close to the well. When they get close enough, Leafy, use your vines to trip them, and Pewter, use your rock magic to move the stones out of the way. Once they fall in, Pewter will seal the well and Aqua will flood the well. I¡¯ll take care of any that we don¡¯t catch with my hoe. They looked like they were going to protest my plan. I admit the plan required them to push their skills a little more than they were probably ready for, but we had no choice as we would never be able to defeat these goblins otherwise.


    Before anyone said anything, Crimson started throwing fireballs. He didn¡¯t throw them directly at the goblins, as he did earlier, but instead threw them to their sides. The goblins ran forward to dodge while slowly moving closer and closer to the well. They would have to run past it now to get to us. Leafy was next, as soon as the goblins were close enough, she snagged all their legs. Pewter was in perfect sync. Before they tripped, he broke the well¡¯s rocks open so that it was just a hole in the ground. The goblins fell into the hole and Pewter moved the stones back on top. He left only a small opening when he put the stones back. Aqua was last. With one motion, water in the well began to burst out of the opening as if it was some high-pressured fountain. After a few minutes, she stopped and took a deep breath.


    We didn¡¯t get much time to think, the town was on fire all behind us now and dark figures could be seen emerging from the flames. They were bigger than goblins, possibly orcs, or worse. I looked down at the goblin that I had slain. It wore light, copper armor and was armed with a copper sword. Cheap equipment but it was rare for a goblin to wear anything more than some rags for clothes and be armed with a bone club. Its armor had some markings on it that indicated it was part of some army. This was not a random raid, rather it was an invasion.


    We didn¡¯t need to communicate that we had to run. We just all started to run north. Out of town and through the forest. We didn¡¯t stop until we had broken through the woods. In the distance, over the trees, a huge cloud of smoke rose into the sky. The village was likely gone. Would that make us the only survivors?


    ¡°Hey, we did a pretty decent job defeating those goblins,¡± Pewter said. He laughed and the others laughed with him.


    ¡°Yeah, that was great teamwork between us,¡± Leafy said with a smile.


    They all sat down to take a rest. I was surprised to see them so happy and relaxed. The village had just been burned down and everyone was likely dead. I didn¡¯t say anything, however, I wouldn¡¯t want to ruin the mood. I sat down on the ground as well.


    After about 10 minutes, we decided to go north to the town nearest to us. We headed northwest until we found the main road that connected the two towns and then followed it north. It was about a two-day walk. When the sun was beginning to go down, we decided to camp out in some nearby woods. Crimson started a small fire with his magic. Considering that a fire could be seen by someone, I tried advising against it. They assured me they would protect me from any attackers, should the need arise. That did not reassure me, so I eventually drifted off into sleep holding my hoe closely.


    I woke up early from the sounds Crimson was making. I sat up and saw him practicing punching and throwing small fireballs. He looked my way then turned away. I saw his shoulders move in a way that indicated a sigh, then he turned back to me.


    ¡°Sorry, I guess I woke you.¡±


    ¡°No problem, I¡¯m more surprised the others can sleep through your training,¡± I said softly.


    ¡°Ha-ha, yeah they are all heavy sleepers.¡±


    I stood up.


    ¡°Can you teach me?¡±


    ¡°Teach you?¡±


    ¡°Magic, it would be good for me to know.¡±


    Crimson rubbed his chin before responding.


    ¡°I suppose it would be good¡­ to learn¡­ everything considered.¡±


    With his conclusion, he took me just outside the woods. Dawn was beginning to break and with it, we could see the sky beginning to light up in the distance.


    ¡°Okay, so you need to feel the emotions. Then you just move like this and punch.¡± Crimson moved his arms around in a motion that mimicked flames then threw his fist forward. Fire spat out of his fist.


    ¡°What emotions?¡±


    ¡°Whatever works for you. For fire, it could be rage or passion. It doesn¡¯t matter as long as you feel it strongly.¡±


    ¡°What do you feel? You don¡¯t look angry when you throw spells.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I¡­ uh¡­ think about someone I care about and how I want to protect them¡­¡± Crimson turned away with a red face when he spoke. He looked in the direction of the woods where everyone still slept.


    I looked down at my hands and rolled them into fists. Rage or passion. Did I have anything like that in me? I mimicked his movements and threw my fist forward. Nothing came out. I tried again and again. I thought about different people in town, how much I loved them, how angry I was at their deaths. Nothing came out.


    ¡°I¡­¡± I started to say something but gave up.


    ¡°Well, you can match the moves perfectly, but I don¡¯t understand why you can¡¯t throw a spell.¡± Crimson looked surprised. Perhaps this was a rather easy spell that I was failing at because he looked really shocked by my inability to cast it.


    We kept trying until the sun was fully visible and well into the sky. Then we decided to stop. The others began to wake up and joined us outside the forest. Before we could do anything, the sounds of horses filled the area. From the northern road, a large number of soldiers on horseback rode through. We watched for a long time until the army was finally gone.


    It seemed like the emperor had sent the army to take care of the invaders. We headed north until we reached the next town. It was a bit larger than ours. While our town was primarily a farming village, this town focused on trading with other towns in addition to its farming. We headed to the guild¡¯s house first. Along the way, the group had decided to register with the adventures guild and go on journeys. They were really excited after successfully defeating those goblins.


    We marched into the guild hall to the counter. The lady at the desk gave us a friendly smile. I have to say. I never planned to be an adventurer, but maybe it could be fun. I seemed to have no aptitude for magic, but I was physically fit from working the fields. I¡¯m sure I could learn swordplay and use it to effectively fight.


    ¡°So, the five of you will be registering? Are you all going to be a group?¡± the lady asked us.


    The other three looked a Crimson with an odd expression. I¡¯m not sure what they were trying to communicate, but Crimson seemed to give a knowing nod that he understood. He waved to me to go aside. I met him at a lone table in the hall¡¯s corner.


    ¡°So¡­ it seems like you can¡¯t use magic, which you need to be an adventurer¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, I am confident I can learn swordplay. I will make sure not to hold the group back.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but it¡¯s extremely dangerous to do this profession without magic¡­. Look, maybe you should just stay a farmer¡­. It will be better for you that way¡­.¡±


    ¡°Oh, okay.¡± I wasn¡¯t really sure what to say. I guess I needed to be more proficient with magic to be an adventurer. I could have sworn that some adventures didn¡¯t use magic at all, but I guess I was wrong.


    Crimson left me at the table. He walked over to the others at the desk and gave them a smile and thumbs up. I watched as they registered, got their identification, and walked out of the door to their first quest.


    I waited for about an hour before I walked out of the hall myself. It wasn¡¯t too hard to find work in a new field. One of the local farmers was looking for help, so I took up work there. In a couple of years, I married his only daughter and took over the farm. We had a few kids, and life moved on as I worked the fields.


    Many years later, when I had reached my 30¡¯s, I got word that a group of 4 magic-using heroes had defeated the Demon King and ended the war. There was a buzz about how they started as rare magic-wielding adventurers and rose through the rank to become heroes to the empire. I can¡¯t say for certain if it was them, but if it was, I am happy they were able to do well.