《Slime Sweets and Dungeon Treats - A Cozy LitRPG》


 Chapter 1 - Tutorial Zone

    The scent of freshly cut grass and campfire smoke teased my senses, pulling me out of what felt like a very deep sleep. Bright light pressed against my eyelids, but I tried my best to ignore it. I deserved to sleep in once and a while after how hard I worked.


    But something wasn''t right. I hated camping...didn''t I?


    My memories felt hazy, like a fog had settled in my mind. I obviously wasn''t in my bed, but I didn''t remember going out either. What was the last thing I did remember? Something about...pie? No. Pretty sure I was getting yelled at by my boss actually. No matter how hard I worked, it was never good enough.


    I rubbed sleep out of my eyes as the sound of a crackling fire mixed with other sounds that weren''t quite so cozy, like the growl of a very large dog and hissing snakes.


    My eyes snapped open. I was lying at the edge of a small clearing surrounded by fog so thick I couldn''t see anything beyond it. A mountain stood at the other side of the clearing, with glowing symbols carved into what looked like a door.


    Okay, I was definitely not at home or work, but that wasn''t even the weirdest part.


    That honor was left to the small animal pens filled with what I could only describe as monsters from some kind of fantasy movie. Wolves with horns, three-headed snakes, giant bugs, and a bright blue bouncy thing that I couldn''t identify.


    "What the hell is going on?" I lurched to my feet, but my body felt like jello, all weak and wobbly.


    "Oh, hello, I''m glad you''re awake," a man''s voice said, pulling my attention to his unusual appearance. Horns jutted from his head, curling through his fluffy brown hair, and his feet were actually...no, that couldn''t be right. They were hooves, like what you''d see on a goat! "Welcome to the Dungeon of Eternal Embers."


    My pulse raced, pounding in my ears like I was standing at the edge of a cliff. Everything about this place was so very, very wrong, but the worst part was that I couldn''t remember what was right. My mind was blank.


    "Welcome to the what...?" I asked, needing to grasp onto something, anything that would slow the panic racing through my mind. "And what are you?"


    "I''m a satyr, half-man, half-goat, and I''m here to welcome you to the Dungeon of Eternal Embers," he said, smiling warmly. "Take a deep breath, calm down, and then we can get started."


    A crazed laugh threatened to bubble up at the idea of a mythical goat-man welcoming me to a dungeon. This had to be a dream. But my chest hurt too much for it to really feel like a dream. My breathing was uneven and my heart just wouldn''t stop pounding, like my body thought it was in fight or flight mode.


    How did I get here?


    I put my hand against my chest, my fingers brushing over the silver buttons of a double-breasted white coat that felt like a uniform, but I couldn''t remember what for. My long brown hair hung over my shoulder in a tight braid and an apron was tied around my waist.


    The apron''s fabric was soft and well-worn, with specks of flour right where my hands would go if I were to wipe them off. This was my apron, something I wore often.


    "Good, you look calmer now," the satyr said. "What''s your name and age?"


    "I''m Hazel and I''m 25 years old." The words came out without even thinking about them, as if remembering simple things like that was easier than how I got here. "I think I''m a...baker?"


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    The word settled into the back of my mind, comforting me. Yes. My name was Hazel and I was a baker.


    The satyr jotted that down in a notebook and smiled again. "Okay then, Hazel, please choose a weapon."


    "What?"


    He motioned toward a table full of swords, daggers, bows, and lots of books. Suddenly the whole dungeon and monsters thing was making more sense. I had to be playing a game, one that was far too lifelike for my liking.


    I laughed nervously, fiddling with the edge of my braid. "Is this some kind of virtual reality game?"


    "This is no game," the satyr said, "but many prefer to treat it like one. It helps make sense of their new world. Now please, choose a weapon."


    New world? My eyes widened. So this wasn''t a dream or a game, but a new world? And I needed a weapon for it? Weapons meant violence and pain, neither of which I enjoyed. Whatever was going on, I wanted no part of it.


    "I think you''ve got the wrong person," I said, backing up until the damp fog clung to my skin. "I''m just a baker."


    The satyr kept smiling, almost eerily, as the smoke from the campfire thickened, making the air hazy and clouding my mind. What was I doing? If he said I needed a weapon, then I should choose one...right? Doing something was better than floundering around in a panic.


    I stumbled over to the table of weapons, searching for something that felt right to me.


    Maybe the books? They seemed safe enough, but when I reached out to one, the air around it felt electrically charged, zapping against my skin. Were they magical books? That was kind of cool, but magic sounded like a lot of work and often blew up in people''s faces.


    Wasn''t there anything simple here? Anything that felt like me?


    My gaze settled on a sandwich at the edge of the table with a bite taken out of it, as if the person had gotten distracted mid-meal. I couldn''t remember much about my life, but every little flash was about food. My entire life apparently revolved around it, so why stop now?


    I reached for the sandwich, which looked like a grilled cheese, as if drawn to it. "I choose this sandwich."


    "What?" The satyr''s eyes widened. "No, that''s not a weapon. It''s my lunch."


    "Well, then you shouldn''t have put it on the weapons'' table." I shrugged, holding the grilled cheese out like a sword. Maybe if I chose the most ridiculous option, he''d send me back home and forget about this whole new world thing. "This grilled cheese sandwich, in all its cheesy glory, is now my weapon."


    A light-blue message box appeared in the air in front of me, asking me to confirm my choice of making [Dave''s Lunch] my weapon.


    "Don''t even think about it," the satyr, who was apparently named Dave, said. "You won''t win with a sandwich for a weapon."


    I pressed my lips together to avoid laughing at the absurdity of all this. What kind of name was Dave for a mystical satyr?


    "Who said anything about winning?" I asked. "You claimed this wasn''t a game, so I''m going with my gut and that''s leading me to food."


    The message box that said [Yes] glowed brighter and then disappeared before another message popped up.


    [Dave''s Lunch has been assigned to Hazel]


    [New Quest: Defeat one monster]


    "Defeat one monster?¡± My gaze fell on the monster pens. I guess he had said this was a dungeon, but fighting was not part of my get sent home as a failure plan. "No way, I''m not hurting any of them. If that''s why I''m here, you might as well send me back."


    "You can''t go back," Dave said solemnly, "not yet, at least. You have to enter the dungeon and level up by killing monsters."


    [New Quest: Escape the dungeon by defeating the boss on floor 100]


    This was going from bad to worse if the only way I could go home was to kill things. It didn''t matter how strange those monsters looked, they were still just animals in my mind, and hurting them would make me the monster.


    "Isn''t there any other way to get home?" I asked, clutching my apron. "Something that doesn''t involve fighting or hurting anyone? I mean, if you were using the monsters for food, maybe I could understand. Everyone needs to eat. But killing them just so I can get home? No way."


    "You''re fighting them to gain experience and new skills," Dave said with a tone that made it seem like that should be impressive and exciting instead of horrible sounding. "The more monsters you defeat, the higher your level will rise until eventually you can fight the boss on the lowest floor. Then you can leave just like you wanted."


    "That simple, huh?" A bitter laugh escaped my lips. There was no way I could fight through 100 floors of monsters and beat some epic boss. Especially not with a sandwich.


    Was I going to be stuck here forever?

 Chapter 2 - Weaponized Grilled Cheese

    My morning was off to a rough start so far. I''d not only woken up in a dungeon and chosen a grilled cheese for my weapon, but I was somehow expected to fight with it too. Against literal monsters.


    This new world was so not my cup of tea.


    "Look," Dave said softly, "I understand that you don''t want to fight, but once you''re inside the dungeon, that will change. You need to be prepared and realize that a sandwich won''t help you."


    "I know that," I said, staring at the perfectly golden-brown bread in my hands, "but there has to be another way for me to get home. I refuse to fight monsters for no real reason. That''s ridiculous."


    The fence keeping the round bouncy monster locked up suddenly disappeared, as if Dave was trying to force me into action. I''d have backed away, but something deep inside me knew that I shouldn''t enter the fog surrounding the clearing.


    So that only left one thing: defeat that monster. With a grilled cheese.


    I scratched my head, eying the monster bouncing toward me. It reminded me of colorful pudding or blue jello as it hopped closer, body jiggling. It was honestly kind of cute, if I ignored the whole monster thing. Its eyes were a deeper blue than its body, shimmering like sapphires as it blinked curiously at me.


    "Hey there," I said quietly as I knelt down, holding my hand out to it. "Are you hungry?"


    "What?" Dave shook his head, his expression pained. "No, you can''t feed the monsters."


    "Why not?" I asked as the cute bouncy thing came closer. If I treated it like a puppy, maybe I could get through this with some sanity intact.


    I ripped off the corner of the sandwich, melty cheese pulling away from it in a long string, and tossed it toward the monster. Its mouth opened wide as it gobbled the gooey cheese up, making an adorable glomp noise. Then it chittered gleefully and bounced faster.


    "You liked that, huh?" I smiled, ripping off another piece for it. "Have some more."


    Soon the creature was in my arms, crooning as I fed it by hand. Some monster it turned out to be. I wanted to mock Dave about that, but he looked like his head might explode as he paced the clearing, muttering to himself.


    I dared to pet the creature, feeling its squishy body mold against my hand. Its skin was smooth and elastic, reminding me of bread dough. It leaned into my hand as its eyes changed to adorable greater than less than signs, making a squee noise like it was the happiest little jellybean ever.


    My heart warmed as the little creature melted some of my worries away. Focusing on things I could do, like feed this hungry little monster, eased my mind far more than focusing on all the things I couldn''t do. Like remembering my past or going home apparently. I swallowed hard, determined not to let any feelings of helplessness overtake me.


    For right now, I just needed to focus on what I could do. Defeat this monster without hurting it, because that was the only hope I''d have of making it through the dungeon. The phrase monster tamer came to mind, so maybe something like that would work. I could feed them, befriend them, and form a bond.


    Forming that bond might be easier if the monster had a name.


    "What should I call you?" I asked the little blue creature. "Jellybean?"


    It wiggled up and down, almost like it was nodding. Apparently it liked the name.


    Another one of those weird message boxes popped up, looking like they were created by some kind of computer system.


    [Slime defeated in a new and unique way. Congratulations. Reward: Starter gear]


    I couldn''t believe that worked, but I was so happy it did! This gave me a way to go through the dungeon without doing anything I''d regret. As long as it worked on other monsters too, I''d be set.


    "So you''re a slime, huh?" I whispered to the monster in my arms. "That''s nice."


    Pots and pans rained down from the sky along with bread and cheese. I ducked before seeing what else was there. Getting hit on the head was the last thing I needed right now, but all I heard was a soft chime instead of the clank of pots and pans. I dared to look up, gazing at a clear blue sky without any cooking equipment falling from it.


    Where did it all go?


    "No, she can''t get pots and pans," Dave moaned. "She''s supposed to get travel gear and potions! What kind of starter gear is that?"


    He waved his hands in the air, frantically swiping through menus I couldn''t see. When he paused, his face grew pale.


    "She''s a culinary mage?" He glared at the campfire as if it would have answers. "A culinary mage??"


    [New Class: Culinary Mage]


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    [New Skills Available]


    Whatever that was was apparently too much for the poor satyr because he collapsed on the ground beside me, muttering nonsense about how chefs didn''t belong in the dungeon and culinary magic didn''t even exist.


    I felt a little bit bad for him, especially since I''d stolen his lunch too, so I handed him what was left of it. "Maybe you should eat something."


    He nodded, gulping the sandwich down. Once it was gone, another sandwich appeared in my hand with the same original bite taken out of it.


    "What the hell?" I asked, accidentally dropping it in shock. The slime gobbled it up heartily before another sandwich appeared in my hand.


    That was so not normal. I guess I really was in another world...


    "You''ll always have access to your basic weapon," Dave said, his voice a bit calmer after the food. "If you lose other weapons, they won''t come back though."


    Okay, so this grilled cheese and I were stuck together then. I should probably at least taste it for myself to see what I was working with, right?


    I took a small bite and immediately spit it out. "Ugh, that''s awful. It tastes like cardboard."


    "What''s cardboard?" Dave asked.


    "It''s...," I paused, unable to picture it. "How do I know a word but not know what it means?"


    That was very unsettling, probably the most unsettling thing that had happened since I''d gotten here. Not only did I not remember my own life, but the things I did remember were fading away too, like smoke dissipating in the air.


    Dave patted me on the shoulder. "It happens to every newcomer. Memories are hard to hold onto in the dungeon."


    I didn''t like that feeling, like my mind was empty when it used to be full. I knew the basics, sure, but the meaning behind what I was saying was lost to me. Would that keep happening even with new memories I made? Was I doomed to be a blank slate?


    The slime pressed against my hand, as if trying to comfort me. I took a deep breath, reminding myself to focus on what I could do: feed the slime, level up, and get the hell out of here.


    "I''m sorry I fed you such terrible food," I said, patting its head. "I''ll make something better for you, I promise."


    Its eyes lit up and it made a chittering noise, bouncing up and down in my lap. I couldn''t help but smile at its excitement.


    More message boxes appeared in the air.


    [Title Granted: Slime Friend]


    [It''s the very first title of its kind. You keep getting more and more interesting, Hazel]


    Hazel. Seeing my name, so solid and real on that message box, made me happy. That was one thing I could feel sure of, but did those message boxes seem...chattier than before? Almost like somebody was talking to me.


    "Slime friend? Slime friend??" Dave shook his head, groaning loudly. "That''s it. I''m done. You''re not normal."


    [New Skills Available]


    I had a feeling asking about those skills might push the poor satyr over the edge, so I''d figure that out later. Right now I had to focus on the slime. Focus on the slime. I repeated it over and over like a mantra to keep me grounded.


    One thing at a time. If feeding monsters was the key to me getting out of here, then that''s what I''d do.


    "So, where do I get ingredients?" I asked, forcing a grin on my face.


    "You can find food as you explore the dungeon," Dave said, "or you can buy ingredients at the town on the fifth floor. It''s a safe zone where adventurers often stay until they''re high enough level to delve deeper."


    The fifth floor sounded like a long way away and there was no way I was eating that bland sandwich again, let alone feeding it to anyone else. I shifted the slime onto the ground so I could stand, wondering where all that bread and cheese had gone.


    A grid appeared in front of me labeled [Item Box]. Tiny versions of not only the bread and cheese were inside, but the pots and pans too. Along with knives, spoons, spatulas, a portable stove, water, and a few other odds and ends. Everything I''d need to start cooking.


    If I could get them out of this menu. Maybe if I touched one of the boxes, they''d appear like in a video game. I hovered over the bread, feeling a bit strange. This wasn''t how life was supposed to work, but I had a feeling this item box was only the beginning. This world was full of new and strange things. I''d have to get used to them if I wanted to succeed.


    I tapped the box and bread appeared in my hands like magic. I jumped back a bit, gasping as I touched the bread against the grid and it disappeared inside again.


    "Oh, that is so cool," I said, grinning as I took the cheese in and out next. "I could get used to this item box."


    "Great, glad you''re having fun," Dave said. "Since you''re a culinary mage, whatever that is, I should probably show you how to cook."


    I shook my head. "I think that''s something I already know how to do."


    And I wanted to hold onto those few solid memories. Rolling pastry, kneading dough, drizzling chocolate, all of that felt natural to me. Easy, like something I''d done so many times it was ground into my mind.


    If I really couldn''t go back home without going through a dungeon, then I''d just have to make it work somehow. Who brought me here and why would have to wait, because it sure didn''t seem like Dave would be giving me any real answers. It felt like he wanted to shoo me along and pretend like he''d never met me actually.


    A faint glow pulled my attention to the mountain as the door opened. Inside that dungeon would be all sorts of ingredients I could cook with. Maybe I''d even remember more of my life if I kept doing familiar things.


    I turned back to Dave. "Is there anything else I should know?"


    "Yes, but you can learn it as you go like everyone else. You need to be careful though," he said, worry tightening his voice. "Your class and title aren''t normal. It''s like the dungeon''s been creating things on the fly ever since you stubbornly chose my lunch as your weapon. I''m not sure what''ll happen to you now or where that will lead you."


    Maybe I''d have been better off sticking with the magic books, but then I wouldn''t have this cute new slime friend bouncing next to me. If I had to be here, then cooking my way through the dungeon felt like the right path.


    So I''d go in there, find whatever ingredients were available, and make the most delicious baked goods I could. Somebody had to show the people here that real food didn''t taste like cardboard and it might as well be me.


    Then I''d beat all 100 floors and finally be free of this nightmare.


    "You coming?" I asked the little blue slime as I moved toward the dungeon''s entrance. "You can stay here if you want."


    Jellybean chittered and followed me, bouncing into the dungeon without a care in the world.


    If only I could be as carefree as that slime.

 Chapter 3 - Cooking Skills

    Hundreds of glowing orange gems lined the stone walls of the dungeon, flickering faintly like embers. Warmth emanated from them, wrapping around me like a soft blanket as the smokey scent of the campfire outside permeated the air. I''d expected the dungeon to be dark and gloomy, but this was downright cozy.


    [New Quest: Defeat three monsters in whichever way makes you happy]


    That was rather open-ended. Almost like the system was giving me permission to feed the monsters instead of fight them...


    Either way, I wasn''t really keen on coming face to face with any more monsters, since I doubted I''d get lucky enough to find ones as kind as the slime. My gaze darted around the dungeon, which looked like an extension of the meadow, but nothing scary jumped out at me.


    The grassy plains stretched as far as I could see, with large trees and bushes speckling the otherwise flat landscape. If there were monsters here, they should be easy enough to spot at least. Maybe there was even some way I could track them? I turned to ask Dave, but the only thing behind me was a rocky dungeon wall.


    No door. No meadow. No sunlight.


    Just the dungeon and those glowing stones in the wall.


    My chest tightened as I ran my hands over the warm stone, trying to find a handle or a crack for the edge of the door, but there was nothing. I slammed my hand against the wall, wishing I''d stayed in the tutorial zone for a bit longer.


    "Now what am I supposed to do?"


    [Defeat three monsters]


    "Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time," I snapped at whatever system kept prompting me.


    I took a deep breath, inhaling the smokey scent that seemed to be everywhere. It settled my nerves, focusing me. If I had to defeat monsters to get out of here, then I needed to start cooking, because no monster deserved to eat that awful sandwich Dave called a lunch. They deserved treats, just like anyone else.


    Monster treats that would taste so good they''d forget all about little ol'' me.


    I opened my item box to grab a few things, but got distracted by menu names at the top that I didn''t remember being there before. One of them was titled [Cookbook].


    My eyes widened. Knowing recipes from this world would be really helpful. Maybe different monsters had different food preferences too. I tapped the word cookbook, assuming it would open a menu, but jumped back when an actual book came out of the screen, hovering in the air in front of me. The cover was a warm brown, like soft leather, embossed in gold with a crossed knife and fork.


    The cover opened on its own as the book flipped through a few blank pages, stopping on a recipe for grilled cheese. I snorted, glad I actually really liked grilled cheese since the system seemed to think it was my favorite thing ever now. But the "recipe" was basically just an ingredients list and didn''t contain any actual instructions.


    [Grilled Cheese: Bread, Cheese, Butter]


    Okay, but what kind of bread? What kind of cheese? Sure, it didn''t really matter for this recipe, but it would for others. I was a baker, not a cook who just threw things together and hoped they turned out. I needed specifics: ingredient measurements, bake time, temperature, and anything else they could give me.


    The embers in the walls glowed brighter as smoke curled around me, tickling my nose. Now that the campfire was gone, I wasn''t sure where the smoke was coming from, but my head felt too fuzzy to dwell on it.


    Did I really need all those things to cook? It felt like I could just toss everything on a pan and call it good...right?


    Before I second guessed myself, I took the pan and portable stove that I''d gotten with my starter gear out of my item box. The stove was barely large enough for a small pan, but that was fine as long as I could figure out how to turn it on. There were no buttons or switches that I could see, so I ran my fingers along the edges hoping to feel something unusual, but there was nothing.


    This dungeon cooking adventure wasn''t going to get very far if I didn''t have a heat source. I absently set the pan down on the stove so I could go through my menus for a hint, but an orange glow pulled my attention back. The stove had somehow activated.


    I pulled the pan off it and the orange glow faded, but when I set the pan down again, the glow immediately came back. Well that was useful, as long as I didn''t accidentally set the wrong thing on it. Just to test, I removed the pan and placed a clump of grass on the stove instead.


    Nothing happened. The grass didn''t even wilt or turn brown from the residual heat.


    I held my hand over the stove, but it didn''t actually feel warm. Maybe it was like a magical induction cooktop, where the heat went to the pots and pans instead of the stove itself! Now that would be really cool and a good safety measure.


    The slime nudged my leg, big eyes begging me to cook something tasty.


    "Okay, okay," I said with a laugh. "Give me a minute."


    The only ingredients in my item box were bread, cheese, and butter, none of which said what kinds they were, so I just pulled one of each out. The bread looked like basic white sandwich bread and the cheese was orange like cheddar. I cut them into slices, buttering the bread before putting it on the pan to cook.


    Then I layered some hopefully delicious cheese in the middle before adding another slice of bread. The butter sizzled nicely as the cheese started to melt, but it didn''t smell like anything. How strange.


    After a few minutes, I flipped the grilled cheese, excited about the golden brown color the bread had now. The slime slowly made its way onto my lap, getting closer and closer to the stove as the sandwich cooked. I held it back, not wanting the poor thing to get hurt, but felt just as excited to try this grilled cheese. If it actually tasted good, that opened up a whole world of options for taming monsters.


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    [Grilled Cheese Level 1 Acquired]


    [You cooked your very first dish! Hopefully it tastes good.]


    [+10 XP]


    Anticipation thrummed through me as I took a small bite of the sandwich, but an unmistakable cardboard taste filled my mouth that made me want to sob. It was just as awful as the last one. The slime ate the rest, cooing happily despite its terrible taste.


    "Are you mocking me, oh mysterious system?" I asked, feeling more than a little silly talking to thin air. "You had to know that wouldn''t taste good."


    [...]


    I glared at the message box that appeared. "Seriously? That''s all you''ve got? You''re the one who made me a culinary mage, so you should at least make the food taste good!"


    [Suggestion: look at your skills]


    My skills? I frowned, vaguely remembering a message about new skills being available when I was talking to Dave, but I hadn''t had time to look at them yet. I opened my menu, clicking on stats first.


    Culinary Mage: Level 1


    Agility: 1


    Charisma: 1


    Endurance: 1


    Intelligence: 1


    Mana: 1


    Strength: 1


    Available Stat Points: 5


    While those sounded useful, they didn''t really have anything to do with cooking. Unless mana meant magic, which was probably required for a culinary mage. Plus, charisma might help me win people and monsters over with my food easier. Since I was in a dungeon, I should probably add something to my strength too just in case. Or maybe agility to run away faster?


    "Hmmm...let''s put two points into mana and another two into charisma," I said, "then is it okay to save the last point?"


    [Yes, you may save as many points as you want]


    [Mana: 3]


    [Charisma: 3]


    My body glowed gold for a moment, as if accepting the new stats. I held my hand out in front of me, still amazed by this new world. I didn''t feel any different, but hopefully those increases would help my cooking. Now, what about those skills the system had mentioned?


    I tapped on the skills menu, which opened up two large tree-like structures with most of the words hidden behind locked symbols. The top of one said "culinary mage" and the other said "slime friend". I focused on the culinary mage skill tree, almost squealing with excitement as I read the top skill option.


    "Flavor boost??? Oh, hell yeah."


    [New Skill: Flavor Boost]


    [Flavor boost is a passive skill that will allow your cooking to have flavor as long as you have mana available]


    The skill glowed before opening up two more skill options: buff baking and heatproof hands. I only had one skill point left though and hadn''t even looked at the slime friend skills yet. The first one was titled slime care, which sounded useful, but I should probably focus on the culinary mage skills first since I was bound to run into other monsters besides slimes.


    "What''s the buff baking skill do?"


    [Buff baking is a skill that infuses one random buff to your food, temporarily increasing a stat, skill, or ability]


    Ohhh, that sounded handy. If I made food that other adventurers could use, they''d be more likely to help me with things. Maybe they''d even buy my food and I could make a little business out of it to keep me going until I got out of here. If all the skills were as powerful as these, I''d have to start leveling up as fast as possible.


    "Let''s go with buff baking, please," I told the ethereal system.


    [New Skill: Buff Baking]


    The skill glowed, opening even more skill options. Since I was out of points though, I closed the menu, eager to try both of these new skills out. I buttered two more slices of bread, placing them on the pan as I added cheese. The system had said the flavor boost skill was passive, which meant it should always be active as long as I had mana.


    As the grilled cheese started sizzling, a blue mana bar appeared at the top of my vision. It wasn''t a very large bar, but it was hopefully enough to make a few tasty grilled cheese.


    The slime bounced in my lap, just as eager to try the new food as I was. I flipped the sandwich, barely able to contain my excitement as it cooked, which was one of the only downsides to cooking. It took so long! Maybe there would be a skill to make things cook faster or instantly brown or something cool like that.


    The nutty scent of browned butter mixed with the wonderful scent of cheddar cheese. I inhaled deeply, overcome with emotion about how wonderful it was to smell food again. I had assumed the flavor boost would just affect the taste, but smell seemed like it was part of the experience too.


    Skills were amazing. I couldn''t wait to get more of them.


    [Grilled Cheese Level 1 Acquired]


    [+10 XP]


    I lifted the grilled cheese off the pan, almost burning my fingers it was so warm. I tossed the sandwich back and forth, blowing on my hands and wishing I''d taken that hot hands skill after all. The slime leaned back and forth, following the sandwich with its entire body, mouth open in case I dropped it.


    "Oh calm down," I said with a laugh as I split the sandwich in two, holding half out to the slime. "Let''s try it together."


    The slime gulped it down as I took my first bite. The warm, gooey cheese was mild, like a young cheddar cheese and a bit salty. The bread was soft and buttery with just a hint of a crispy bite from the golden brown exterior. I closed my eyes, savoring the taste as the warmth of this grilled cheese filled my body.


    It was perfect.


    Tears pricked my eyes as the comforting taste made me nostalgic for a home I couldn''t even remember. Such a weird feeling, but it passed quickly as I finished up my half of the grilled cheese.


    The slime was eyeing me expectantly. I hugged it close before preparing the next sandwich for us both. We''d be eating well from now on, no more tasteless garbage. This time I was going to use the buff baking skill and see what that did too.


    "Ummm...system? How do I use skills?"


    The flavor boost skill was passive, so I hadn''t actually needed to do anything to activate it, but I had a feeling buff baking was different.


    [Speak the skill name to activate it. The more intense you sound, the better your outcome.]


    I raised an eyebrow at the message. "Is that a joke or are you serious?"


    [Deadly serious]


    That still kind of sounded like sarcasm, but I''d do it just in case. I took a deep breath, straightening my back as I focused on the sandwich.


    "Buff baking!"


    Heat burned my cheeks as I loudly called out the name. At least there was nobody around to hear me say it, but it still felt so awkward. I ran a hand over my eyes, wishing I knew if the system was messing with me or not before flipping the grilled cheese. Once it finished cooking, a new message popped up.


    [Healing Grilled Cheese Level 1 Acquired]


    [+15 XP]


    Healing food? I hadn''t even considered that since it hadn''t been on my stat page. As if summoned by my thoughts, a green bar appeared at the top of my vision next to the blue mana bar, which wasn''t as full as it was before.


    Maybe this dungeon wouldn''t be the end of me after all if I could heal any wounds I might get with food. I could cook, I had skills, so now I just had to keep working hard to level them up so I could get out of here.


    100th floor, here I come.

 Chapter 4 - Dungeon Chickens

    After cooking a few more grilled cheese, I was almost out of mana already. It seemed like cooking with flavor boost didn''t use any, but cooking with buff baking did. I''d have to keep that in mind and use skills sparingly so I never ran out of flavor. I also wasn''t sure if the sandwiches would stay warm in my item box, so now seemed like a good time to stop.


    The blue slime tilted its head at me, staring with wide eyes as I put half a loaf of bread and a hunk of cheese back into my item box. That slime had the most ravenous appetite ever. Four grilled cheese in the past few hours and it still wanted more.


    "Sorry buddy, I''ll make you something else soon."


    The slime bounced quickly, nodding so hard it rolled over in the grass. A smile tugged at my lips as I watched the little monster, so adorable and silly. This whole situation would have been a lot more terrifying without it. Calling the slime a monster felt kind of rude at this point because it really was the best friend I had in this place.


    My only friend.


    So maybe I should stop calling it an it while I was at it too since the slime seemed to be sentient and have a personality.


    "Hey Jellybean?" I asked before it rolled too far away. "Do slimes have genders?"


    The slime blinked at me, then looked up at the ceiling.


    [The slime is a male. You would know that if you''d activated any of your awesome new slime friend skills.]


    I winced. Had I offended the system by not evenly distributing my skills? I didn''t realize it could even get offended.


    "Sorry," I called out to the empty dungeon floor. "I''ll make sure to look at those skills once I have more points."


    I waited to see if another message box appeared, but the system had gone silent. Hmmmm, I''d have to keep an eye on my skills better in the future. If the system really had made a new class and title just for me, then I should show my gratitude by using them. After all, the system was the only reason I wasn''t being forced to fight.


    As I put the pan back in my item box, a familiar cluck cluck filled the air.


    Were there...chickens in this dungeon?


    I turned around just in time to see my best little slime friend open his mouth wide and gobble a tiny chicken up.


    "No!" I shouted as the chicken bawked loudly before it disappeared. The slime looked at me innocently with a chicken feather hanging out of his mouth. "Oh, no you don''t. Spit it out. Now."


    The slime tilted his head as if he was confused, but the chicken was clearly inside the slime''s translucent body. It was flapping its wings like it was still alive, so I stormed over there and stared the slime down.


    "Spit. It. Out," I said forcefully. "We don''t eat cute baby chickens here. We just don''t." When the slime didn''t do anything, I added, "I''ll make you something tasty if you spit it out."


    Jellybean''s mouth dropped open and the chicken fluttered back to the ground, squawking up a storm and leaving slime-coated feathers everywhere.


    I patted the slime''s head. "That was nice of you. Thank you."


    He chittered, leaning into my hand and I couldn''t help but smile. I knew I should chastise him more, maybe try training him or something, but he was just too adorable. We''d work on slime manners another day. Right now, I really needed to find more ingredients. I couldn''t keep either of us safe if I couldn''t feed the monsters we''d inevitably encounter.


    I hurried to pack the rest of our stuff, shoving the portable stove back into my item box, but something felt off. The ground was vibrating. Then came the sounds. Clucking so loud I was afraid to turn around and look. But I forced myself to peek.


    Four monstrous chickens towered over me. They had to be almost five feet tall and when they opened their mouths, fire shot out, blazing past me like a warning shot.


    Fire. Breathing. Chickens.


    At their feet stood a ruffled little chicken that looked suspiciously like the one Jellybean had tried to eat. Dammit. Was I about to be a monster chicken''s revenge dinner?


    "I''m really sorry about what happened." I stood slowly with my hands out in front of me. The chickens came up to my chin, making their death stares all the more imposing. "I don''t mean you any harm. It was just a misunderstanding."


    A misunderstanding about who was on the menu tonight, but that was beside the point. We could all walk away from this in one piece, right?


    Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.


    Except, I didn''t see the slime anywhere. I couldn''t just leave him here to be fried for a chicken''s dinner.


    One of the chickens moved closer, clucking in an angry tone as it pecked the air. I winced, picturing how painful that beak would be if it hit me. This was not how my story ended. No way. Not pecked to death by a chicken.


    I glanced around until I spotted the slime quivering in the grass behind the monsters. If I distracted these chickens long enough, we could make a run for it. I opened my item box and pulled out my trusty sandwich: [Dave''s Lunch].


    "Here chicken, chicken, chicken," I said, ripping the grilled cheese up and tossing it on the ground. "Dinner time."


    The one in front walked right over the sandwich bites, grinding them into the dirt under its talons. I gulped. That was one terrifying chicken. Thankfully the others seemed to enjoy the sandwich as they leaned down to peck at it. I tossed a large chunk of it in the air, waiting for the boss chicken to look up at it.


    The moment its eyes left me, I raced over to the slime, scooped him into my arms, and fled as fast as my legs could carry me.


    Furious squawking rose up behind us, but there was no way I was looking back. Not a chance. Not when the slime in my arms was shaking like a leaf, too terrified to make a noise. It reminded me of somebody, but I couldn''t think of who. Somebody who acted tough, but never stood up for themself, no matter how badly they were treated.


    Tears pricked my eyes again, but I wasn''t sure why. I blinked them away, holding the slime close as the chickens closed the distance between us. There was no way I was outrunning them, so we''d have to climb a tree and hope for the best.


    I tossed the slime into the nearest tree and raced after him as fast as I could, grabbing branch after branch. A chef''s coat wasn''t the best for climbing trees though and I kept slipping. This was insane. I was just a baker, so why was I getting chased by fire-breathing chickens in a dungeon?? And why had I thought climbing a very burnable tree was a good idea?


    I hauled myself up a bit higher, straddling a branch so I could catch my breath and see what the chickens were up to. They were still spitting fire, but thankfully the tree wasn''t burning. The flames seemed to roll off its bark like it was fire-proof.


    My shoulders sagged with relief as the slime jumped into my arms, still quivering. I snuggled the little guy close.


    "It''ll be okay, we''ll get out of this."


    Somehow.


    The satyr''s comment about not being able to win with a sandwich came to mind. I really didn''t want him to be right because I didn''t want to hurt anyone, not even these fire-breathing chickens. But what if my food couldn''t calm them down? Would we be stuck up here forever?


    I tried tossing down some of the new grilled cheese I''d made, but they didn''t seem to care about that either. They were too focused on trying to take the tree down with their intense pecking. I leaned my head back against the tree trunk, patting the quivering slime in my arms.


    Maybe chickens just didn''t like grilled cheese. If I had any other ingredients, I could try and make something else for them. Something that would satisfy those monsters long enough for us to get away. I squinted at the tree''s branches. Were those...apples?


    No. They looked more like strawberries, but those didn''t grow in¨CI shook my head. Whether strawberries grew in trees or not wasn''t my problem right now. What mattered was that this tree had fruit and I could cook something with that.


    Maybe some basic jam? I didn''t have any sugar, but strawberries were pretty sweet on their own. If I cooked them down, they''d still be tasty.


    I moved to set the slime on another branch, but he squeaked at me.


    "I''ve got a plan," I said, "I just need to gather these strawberries and cook them down. Then I''ll get us out of here."


    The slime tilted this way and that before hopping over to a bundle of strawberries and gobbling them up.


    "Wait, no!" I called out. The slime looked at me and started shaking again. My heart ached as I reached out to pet him. "Nevermind. Eat as many as you want."


    Unfortunately, the ravenous little slime devoured all the strawberries nearby in minutes. I barely got two handfuls before they were gone. Hopefully it would be enough because I didn''t want to risk moving around too much and losing my balance. If I fell, the slime wouldn''t have anyone to protect him anymore.


    Picturing the adorable creature being pecked by those chickens was just too horrible. I had to make this work.


    I positioned myself against the tree trunk to feel a little more stable. I''d been avoiding looking down as much as I could, but dizziness swept over me once in a while anyway. This tree wasn''t the tallest around, but it was tall enough to make my head spin.


    I removed the portable stove, pot, and knife from my item box, balancing them carefully on the tree branch in front of me. Then I cut each strawberry into quarters and tossed them into the pot. It was a pitiful amount that didn''t even cover the bottom. I worried my lip, looking around for any other strawberries within easy reach, but there weren''t any.


    "This will have to be good enough," I muttered to myself as the slime hopped onto my shoulder. "Are you feeling better?"


    The slime nuzzled against me and I smiled, forgetting the giant chickens for a moment. The slime really was sweet, even if he had a bottomless pit for a stomach. He fell into my lap and opened his mouth wide.


    Strawberries suddenly appeared in my arms. Lots of strawberries. So many I couldn''t even hold onto them all and a few fell to the ground.


    "What...what''s this?" I asked, eyes wide. "Did you gather all these for me?"


    The slime chirped, bouncing happily as the strawberries piled up high around him. He hadn''t been greedily devouring all the fruit, he''d been picking them. For me. So I didn''t have to risk climbing around those branches. I shoved the strawberries in my item box before more of them fell and hugged the slime tight.


    "Thank you," I said as he rubbed against my cheek. "You''re amazing."


    Being treed by monster chickens wasn''t exactly my idea of a good time, but at least we were in it together. I''d have to make good use of the gift Jellybean had brought me. I cut up more strawberries, enough to fill the bottom quarter of the pot, and then turned on the heat.


    Time to make some tasty, chicken-taming jam.

 Chapter 5 - Monster Treats

    The sweet scent of strawberries filled the air as the beautiful fruit started to cook. I''d gotten lucky finding these, their deep red color like precious rubies hidden away in a dungeon. Good food was better than any other treasure that might be here, so I prayed to whatever gods were in this world that the strawberries would taste good.


    [Strawberry Mush Level 1 Acquired]


    [+5 XP]


    My cookbook fluttered open, revealing a blank page that was slowly filled up with shimmering text as if this was some great new recipe.


    "Strawberry mush? Really?" I sighed, dipping a spoon into it to taste it.


    I''d forgotten how watery and bland cooked strawberries were without sugar to macerate them with. Instead of jam, it was just a mushy mess that lost the sweetness the fresh strawberries had had. Not terrible, but nothing I''d serve anyone either.


    I glanced down at the fire-breathing chickens below. Maybe they''d like strawberry mush? The biggest one glared at me, shooting fire up at us. I flinched, pulling my legs higher in the tree. Okay, maybe they didn''t want my crappy cooking.


    But, even though the mush didn''t taste great, it had still given me XP. XP was used for leveling, right?


    I opened my stat menu to find an almost full XP bar. If I made more strawberry mush, I''d probably level up soon and get more skills. Maybe my food would even level up too? I''d noticed that everything I made said it was level 1 just like I was.


    Hmmm...what level were the chickens? I glanced down at them again as notices appeared above their feathered heads. The big boss chicken monsters had the highest levels, but they seemed to get lower as the birds got smaller.


    [Chicken: Level 3]


    [Chicken: Level 3]


    [Chicken: Level 3]


    [Chicken: Level 2]


    And for the tiniest one, the one my adorable slime friend had tried to eat...


    [Chicken: Level 1]


    Wait, they were just chickens? Not crispy cluckers or bawkblazers? I definitely expected some kind of cool monster name, but no, the system really thought those monsters were normal chickens.


    That was terrifying. I had to get out of this tree before anything else this dungeon thought was normal showed up.


    I cooked three more batches of strawberry mush, each one gobbled up by Jellybean with pleasure. His blue body was taking on a purple hue from all those strawberries, but he just kept wiggling with joy so it must have been fine.


    [Strawberry Mush Level 1 Acquired]


    [+5 XP]


    [Level Up: Culinary Mage Level 2]


    Confetti burst around me, colorful and bright like the slime. I''d really gotten to level 2 with this ridiculous strawberry mush! Cheerful music filled the air, making me smile. It felt so nice celebrating that victory.


    [New Skills Available]


    Excellent. I opened the skills menu quickly, noting the two new skill points I could spend. I''d promised to look at the slime friend skills first, so I chose slime bond from that tree.


    [New Skill: Slime Bond]


    [Slime bond is a passive skill that allows slimes you''ve befriended to create a bond with you, letting you intuitively know what they need a bit easier. This bond will grow and change the longer you''re connected to them.]


    Jellybean glowed blue as warmth spread through my chest. Looking at the little slime made me even happier than before, as if I was feeling a bit of his happiness as well. I ran my hand over his smooth translucent body and he closed his eyes, making a sound similar to a purr that made my heart melt.


    I wouldn''t ignore the slime friend skill tree again, not if it made Jellybean this happy.


    But I still had one skill point left and I had to use that on food this time. I glanced through the skill tree options, almost clicking on the heatproof hands from before, but paused.


    "What''s ingredient efficiency do?"


    [Ingredient efficiency allows you to bake complete dishes with one less ingredient]


    My eyebrows shot up. If that worked how it sounded, I could make actual jam for those crispy cluckers. I tapped the skill, excitement making me jittery as the name glowed.


    [New Skill: Ingredient Efficiency]


    I cut up a fresh batch of strawberries, filling the bottom half of the pot before adding it to the portable stove. Now the only thing left was to activate the skill...


    "Ingredient efficiency!" I shouted out, wincing as the embarrassment washed over me again. "Use sugar."


    The last part came out as a whisper, but hopefully it still worked. While the strawberries simmered, I threw another stat point into my mana, since most of the culinary mage skills seemed to use that. I saved the remaining two stat points for emergencies in case this all-mana-and-charisma plan didn''t work out so well.


    As the fruit cooked down, the moisture released, making a much more jam-like consistency. It was actually working! I dipped my spoon into it, daring to take a small taste of the delicious-looking jam.


    Sweetness filled my mouth as the delicate strawberry flavor danced on my tongue. A soft moan escaped my lips. This was what food should taste like! Thank god something was finally working out.


    [Strawberry Jam Level 2 Acquired]


    [+10 XP]


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    My cookbook glowed with warm golden light as another page was filled out for strawberry jam. Once again, it only listed the ingredients though. Maybe I could add my own notes to it later, fleshing the cookbook out manually.


    [It sounded like you really enjoyed that jam. Maybe you should look for more ingredients and see what else you can make.]


    [New Quest: Gather three unique ingredients]


    This system was sounding more and more like a person. The back of my neck warmed, picturing somebody behind a computer screen watching me. It didn''t feel malicious though, more like the system was trying to help. From giving me a culinary mage class to me happening to find strawberries in the tree I''d climbed, it all felt a little too easy. Even the ingredient efficiency skill was exactly what I''d needed at the time.


    It was like somebody wanted me to succeed here and that made me feel a lot better about this whole stuck in a dungeon thing.


    Jellybean slowly grew taller and skinner, trying to peek over the edge of the pot.


    "Hey now," I said with a laugh, "that''s for the chickens."


    He deflated with one of the most pathetic sighs I''d ever heard.


    "Oh fine," I said, holding out a small spoonful of the jam. "What do you think?"


    The slime slurped it up, his eyes going wide as he bounced with far too much energy, almost bouncing right out of the tree! I reached out to steady him.


    "Whoa there, calm down," I said. "If you like it that much, I''ll make a whole pot just for you. Once we get away from the chickens, of course."


    At that we both looked below us at the increasingly angry chickens. The smallest one strutted around like it was the general of an army. A very tiny general, but it was still egging the others on into pecking the tree like woodpeckers. Since they couldn''t burn it, maybe they hoped to knock it down instead.


    Okay, time to give them a taste of this delicious jam.


    I paused, gripping the spoon tight. It was easy to give the slime a taste since he was sitting right next to me, but how was I going to actually feed the chickens from way up here? I could dump the jam on the ground, but that seemed pretty rude making the chickens eat it with dirt mixed in. That would probably change the flavor too.


    Hmmm....I could climb down and spoon feed them like I did the slime? I glanced at their sharp beaks, shaking my head. No, definitely not.


    What else could I serve this on? I still had some bread leftover from my starter ingredients so I could make toast. Hopefully it didn''t land jam side down though.


    Who was I kidding? Bread always landed jam side down...


    Oh well, I still had to try. I buttered a piece of bread and toasted it on the pan.


    [Toast Level 2 Acquired]


    [+10 XP]


    A grin stretched across my face. So my food really did level up with me, which hopefully meant it could appease even tougher monsters as long as I kept leveling up. I''d be through the dungeon in no time if gaining experience kept being this easy. I could lock myself in a room, baking all day and night, without running across any monsters until I was ready.


    That actually felt far too familiar, like I''d often spent all day and night baking. Even my shoulders tightened at the thought. Okay, maybe I wouldn''t do that.


    For now, I just had to get out of this tree.


    I spread jam on the toast and balled it up like a snowball, hoping the bread would shield the jam from sticking to the dirt. Then I leaned over the branch and tossed it down in front of the tiny chicken.


    The chicken turned its head this way and that before eventually pecking at the jam ball. Then it pecked some more until the entire thing was gone. I tossed a few more jam balls down, so excited that this was actually working. Another chicken joined the first, devouring the jam balls with gusto.


    [2 Chickens Defeated]


    [Reward: Eggs, Fire Peppers, and a New Recipe]


    Four eggs, a few peppers, and a recipe card rained down from the sky, almost hitting me on the head before they disappeared with a soft chime just like in the tutorial zone. Once I was sure I wasn''t going to be covered in eggs, I opened my item box to find them safe and secure inside. A new page appeared in my cookbook as well for spicy chocolate lava cake.


    That was so cool. It was like the chickens had given me a gift for feeding them and I couldn''t wait to try the recipe out.


    Unfortunately, that''s where my excitement died. No matter how many jam balls I threw down, the level 3 chickens didn''t even deign to look at them. If only I had a slingshot, then I could really make this chicken feeding game exciting. But in the end, my food probably just wasn''t high enough level to pique their interest.


    I sighed. I''d probably have to spend hours leveling up before I had food worthy of those monsters.


    Jellybean cleaned out the pot once again as I prepared for another batch. He slurped up every last speck of jam with a look of utter contentment on his face. At least he''d be happy since I did promise I''d make a pot just for him. Cooking for the slime was honestly so satisfying. I just wish we weren''t stuck in a tree while doing it.


    After another two pots of jam, and a very full slime, my need for storage containers was growing. I assumed I wouldn''t always have the time to cook things on the spot when I needed them, but I also couldn''t just pour a pot of jam into my item box. Well, maybe I could, but it sounded so messy that I didn''t want to try. Just imagining my jam covered hands when I took it back out was not fun.


    I threw another few jam balls down, hoping to keep the lower level monsters distracted at least.


    "Do you maybe need some help?" a woman''s voice shouted up at me.


    I jerked so hard I almost fell out of the tree, scurrying to safety at the last minute on a sturdy branch.


    An older woman with bright red hair, broad shoulders, and toned muscles stood about ten paces behind the chickens, watching the whole thing with a grin on her face like this was the best show she''d seen in ages. A large hammer was strapped to her back, looking far too deadly for my taste.


    "Uhh, I think I''m good, thanks," I said, smiling at her politely. Sure they were monster chickens, but that didn''t mean I wanted them tenderized.


    Plus, if you couldn''t do the work by yourself, you weren''t fit for the job. Asking for help just put a burden on somebody else and nobody wanted that.


    I froze. Where had that thought come from?


    Did I really believe that people shouldn''t help each other or was that just something I''d heard too many times?


    I frowned, hating the feeling of not being able to remember something that was whispering at the edges of my mind. I wanted my memories back, to remember who I was and why I was here.


    The scent of smoke drifted over, clouding the air like it did when I first entered the dungeon. A faint glow burned at the edges of my vision as the embers in the walls flared to life. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling dizzy as the slime brushed up against me.


    "I''m okay," I told him, patting it softly. "We''re going to get down from here."


    He cooed, leaning into me like he fully believed I''d keep him safe. Which meant that''s what I''d have to do. There was no way I''d let this precious little slime down, not when he couldn''t fend for himself. I had to keep moving, just focusing on what was in front of me, until some part of this made sense.


    "Okay, maybe I could use your help," I called out. "Just...don''t hurt them, please."


    Her laugh was raspy, but full. "Whatever you say. These are your chickens, so you make the decisions."


    My chickens? Did the adventurers have some kind of first come first served code when it came to fighting monsters? That could come in handy.


    "Think you can scare them away?" I asked, glancing at her level.


    [Warrior: Level 8]


    Was that high enough level for her to not get clobbered? I wasn''t sure how fighting actually worked since I hadn''t been interested in it at all. Maybe I should have asked Dave a few more questions.


    The woman''s face split into another grin. "Oh, I can scare them alright. Just get ready to jump down."


    With that, she pulled the hammer off her back and started yelling, chasing those chickens like a gleeful child. They flapped their wings, bawking up a storm as they ran from her, feathers filling the air. It was such a crazy sight I almost forgot to climb down.


    Once my feet were on the ground again, I reached up to grab the slime, and took off running, the other woman not far behind.


    I wasn''t sure how long we''d been in the dungeon, but I was beat. At least we''d survived our first chicken encounter.

 Chapter 6 - A New Friend

    My legs burned from trying to keep up with the woman who''d rescued me. She was in far too good of shape, acting like this mad sprint of ours was a jaunt in the woods while I could barely breathe. I motioned for her to stop, hands on my knees as I gulped down air.


    Well, that answered one thing about my life: I was not an athlete.


    "Thanks for the help," I gasped. "I''m Hazel."


    "Fiona." She frowned, studying me. "You''re pretty low level still. Have you tried upping your endurance?"


    If it meant my side would stop aching and I could breathe again, I''d take it. I opened my stat menu and added one of my two remaining stat points to endurance. A sense of relief washed over me, as if I''d just woken up from a full night''s sleep.


    "Whoa, that''s amazing," I said.


    Fiona nodded as Jellybean hopped down from my shoulder and started munching on some plants nearby, reminding me of what had caused all this nonsense in the first place. I could still picture how offended that baby chick looked, feathers ruffled and out of sorts as it fell out of the slime''s mouth. It might have been funny if it hadn''t ended up with the monster parents chasing us down.


    "You just had to eat that chicken, didn''t you?" I asked the slime, the accusation coloring my tone.


    Fiona''s lips twitched. "Wait, that''s why you were stuck in a tree? Because that slime ate a chicken?"


    "I made him spit it out. That should have been good enough, but noooo they just had to get revenge."


    At that Fiona burst out laughing, practically doubling over. "Revenge of the chickens? Oh that''s so ridiculous. I knew when I saw you throwing bread to them like they were pigeons that I had to introduce myself."


    My cheeks burned. "Well, what else was I supposed to do?"


    "Fight them," she said, as if that was the only logical answer. "They''re not as tough as they look."


    They sure seemed tough to me and if this was only the first floor, I couldn''t imagine what would be waiting for me further down. I shuddered at the thought of a fifty foot chicken.


    "That''s just not my style," I said softly, sitting on the cool ground with my knees pulled to my chest. "What is this place anyway? I was told it wasn''t a game, but it feels like a game. What''s the point though?"


    "To see who''s the best?" Fiona shrugged, glancing at a big scratch on her arm that was probably from one of those crispy cluckers. She pulled a bottle of red liquid out of her inventory that I somehow knew was a healing potion. Maybe I could test something out...


    "Hold on," I said, opening my item box to grab one of the sandwiches I''d made earlier. Only one had ended up with a healing buff, but this felt like a good time to use it. "Try this healing grilled cheese instead."


    "Healing grilled cheese?" The older woman eyed the sandwich skeptically. "You can only heal with potions, not food. You get them as quest rewards or you can buy them from the shops on floor five."


    "Is there a way to check an item''s properties?"


    She nodded. "Just tap on it and think something like what are you?"


    I smiled a little at the explanation, but a lot of things did seem to respond to my thoughts, so why not? I tapped the sandwich. What are you?


    A message box appeared above it.


    [Healing Grilled Cheese Level 1]


    Fiona''s eyes widened. "Well I''ll be damned. I guess it is a healing sandwich."


    This time when I held it out to her, she graciously accepted and took a big bite. The scratch on her arm sealed up, fading away within moments. Okay, that really was pretty cool. She ran her hand over her skin, staring at it.


    "It actually worked," she said, voice filled with wonder. "What''s your secret?"


    "I''m a culinary mage," I said proudly. "My plan is to bake my way through the dungeon without fighting anything."


    Fiona blinked, glancing between me and the last bite of her grilled cheese. My confidence drained away as we sat in awkward silence for a bit. I had kind of expected her to ooh and aah over how good it tasted since it seemed like everyone here was used to tasteless food, but she''d barely reacted.


    "Did it...not taste good?" I asked.


    "Taste good?" She frowned, finishing the last of the sandwich. The cheese wasn''t gooey like it had been originally. "Hmmmm, I guess it does taste a bit different than I''m used to, but not much."


    "But I used flavor boost." I rummaged through my item box, grabbing the last leftover grilled cheese as Fiona stared at me awkwardly. "It''s a skill I got that enhances the flavor. I swear these grilled cheese tasted amazing earlier today."


    I bit into the soft bread, expecting the same great flavor as before but was thoroughly disappointed. Somehow, it was even worse than it was before flavor boost. It not only tasted like cardboard, but now it was cold too. Maybe the skills only lasted so long? But the healing part had still worked, so why didn''t the flavor stick?


    "Okay, so maybe the grilled cheese wasn''t a good example," I said. "But I promise my food usually tastes good and it''s going to get me through this dungeon safely. The satyr who showed me inside was going on and on about how ridiculous my class was, but it is my class, so I''m going to use it."


    "To...bake?"


    That hesitation hurt a little bit. She was the first person I''d met inside the dungeon and had helped me out of a tricky situation. I didn''t want her to think I was useless. Or worse, making things up.


    I''d just have to show her what a culinary mage could do and prove that I was serious. Baking was important. The right food could change a person''s day, making them smile or laugh. There was something magical about recreating food that somebody remembered from their childhood too, that nostalgic feeling was so warm and comforting. The right food could even calm a savage beast, or at least, that''s what I was counting on.


    "Do you have any ingredients with you?" I asked as I set up the portable stove. "I made that grilled cheese a while ago and it must not store well in my item box. Once you try fresh food from me, you''ll understand."


    She studied me for a moment, then nodded. "I''m always up for new things, so let''s give it a try." She opened her inventory, which I unfortunately couldn''t see, and started swiping through menus. "What kind of ingredients do you want? I''ve got vegetables, eggs, meat, fish, milk, flour, chocolate--"


    "You''ve got chocolate?" I asked as a smile tugged at my lips. I could make a lot of things with chocolate.


    Stolen novel; please report.


    "Don''t get too excited," Fiona warned. "It doesn''t taste like anything. Nothing here ever does."


    "Why is that anyway?"


    She shrugged. "Nobody knows. We''ve got all the ingredients for good food, but it never tastes right. The longer you''re here, the less that seems to concern anyone though. A lot of things are like that."


    That was worrisome. I''d had a few fuzzy moments myself too where I thought I cared about something and then suddenly didn''t. Something strange was happening in this dungeon, but I had the overwhelming sense that I shouldn''t ask anything else about it.


    So I didn''t.


    "My cooking will be good. I promise."


    That jam had tasted sweet and fruity, exactly like I thought it should. Cooking was something I did well, the one thing that I could control in this strange place full of uncertainty, and I wasn''t about to let that slip away.


    After going through more of her inventory, I asked for the flour, eggs, butter, sugar, and chocolate. It wasn''t everything I needed, but hopefully I could get the baking soda from my ingredient efficiency skill. Because nothing would win her over like a warm, gooey, chocolate chip cookie.


    "How long have you been here?" I asked as I melted the butter.


    There wasn''t a recipe for this in my cookbook, but I just knew that was the first step for these cookies. After it cooled down, I''d mix in the sugar, eggs, flour, and broken up pieces of chocolate.


    "I''ve been here for a few months I think," Fiona said, taking her hammer off her back to clean it. "I¡¯ve been farming experience for a while, but I¡¯m ready to move past the safe zone now that I¡¯m a level 8.¡±


    "That''s great," I said, glad to have found somebody who knew a bit more about how things worked here. "Is that the average time it takes people?"


    I started mixing the ingredients together until a nice light-brown dough formed. Then I broke up the chocolate bar, mixing so many chocolate chunks into the dough that it could barely hold them all. Apparently I had a sweet tooth.


    Fiona tilted her head. "Honestly, it''s a little hard to keep track of time in here, so I''m not sure. Mind if I ask you something though?"


    "Umm, sure, but I don''t know how much help I''ll be."


    "What are you doing with that thing?" Fiona nodded at the little slime, who was eying up the cookie dough with stars in his eyes. "You do know that slimes are monsters, right? Or were you not strong enough to kill it?"


    The slime shrank in on himself and moved closer to me, as if the other woman was suddenly an enemy. I pulled him onto my lap just in case she was, but knew there wasn''t much I could do if she tried to hurt him. I''d have to get stronger if I wanted to keep Jellybean safe.


    "This slime is my friend," I said firmly, patting his head. "What''s up with everyone assuming all monsters are evil? Even the system gave me a title for befriending the slime, so it must think it''s fine."


    "You got a title for it?" Fiona asked, her hands halting their cleaning.


    [Slime Friend]


    The box appeared as if she''d called it forth.


    Fiona whistled like she was impressed before going back to her polishing. "That''s pretty cool. Most people have slime killer or slime slayer titles, but you''re the first slime friend I''ve seen."


    The slime trembled in my lap. I wrapped my arms around him, murmuring calming things until Fiona held her hands up.


    "I''m not going to hurt your friend, okay?" She leaned closer. "How''d you do it though? Befriend a slime?"


    "I fed it."


    She laughed, grinning widely. "Maybe I underestimated that baking your way through the dungeon plan."


    "The skills have been really helpful so far," I said. "What''s the best way to level them up?"


    "Leveling skills is like exercising your muscles. The more you use them, the better they''ll be. When you reach certain levels, you''ll get new skill options too that are based on the kinds of things you''ve been doing. So if you keep baking, you''ll probably get some pretty cool baking related skill options. Same with being nice to slimes."


    "That''s good to know, thanks."


    I patted Jellybean, hoping our bond would keep growing stronger. It was nice to know that the system rewarded me for just doing the things I wanted to do anyway instead of forcing me to be something I wasn''t. Maybe that was why it had seemed so helpful, because it was following my lead. So I''d just keep baking and playing with slimes and see where that took me.


    Now that that was settled, I had to do something about this lack of baking powder.


    "Ummm...don''t judge me for this," I mumbled before focusing on the cookie dough. I had to be confident and intense like the system had told me. "Ingredient Efficiency! Use baking powder!"


    The blue mana bar shot down until it was almost empty. Apparently, baking powder used a lot more mana than sugar did. I''d have to be careful with that skill.


    Fiona''s shoulders shook with silent laughter as she covered her mouth. "Umm, what was that?"


    "What do you mean?" The back of my neck warmed. "The system said skills worked better if you shouted them."


    Laughter burst out of her so intense that she had to wipe tears from her eyes. "Sorry, I''m not laughing at you, I promise. The system is just well known for getting bored, I guess? It sometimes tells adventurers weird things."


    The system and I were going to have a long hard talk about that later, but right now I just focused on shaping the cookie dough into balls until my embarrassment faded. It felt like a cool magical spell when I was shouting it, like I was an actual mage. So maybe the system had just wanted me to get in the spirit of the dungeon.


    Or maybe I was giving it too much credit.


    Since I didn''t have an actual oven to bake these cookies in, I took a pan out of my item box to pan fry them. They wouldn''t taste quite as good, but it was the best I could do right now.


    After a few minutes, the air filled with the scent of warm, buttery cookies. I flipped them over in the pan to finish cooking while a tear rolled down my cheek. Dammit, was cooking going to make me cry every time? I wasn''t even using onions, but the scent of cookies just felt so familiar.


    "It''s okay." Fiona leaned forward and patted my knee. "A lot of newcomers get teary-eyed at random things. That''ll go away soon too."


    I''d already forgotten everything before I''d woken up in that meadow, but at least my body seemed to remember the important things. The ones that were so ingrained in my mind that they''d stuck around even after everything else was gone. If I lost that too...


    I clutched my aching chest.


    "I don''t want to lose anything else," I whispered. "I want to hold onto it, as tight as possible. I want to remember."


    She sighed. "Are you sure? What if your life before the dungeon wasn''t good? Maybe that''s why we''re all here, for a do over."


    "Whether it''s good or bad, it''s still my life." I took the cookies out of the frying pan, placing them in the pot to cool. "I deserve to remember it."


    [Chocolate Chip Cookies Level 2 Acquired]


    [+15 XP]


    My cookbook floated out of my menu, flipping to a blank page so it could write down the chocolate chip cookie recipe. The shimmering ink filling up the page felt so satisfying, like it was slowly becoming an actual cookbook full of tasty recipes.


    Fiona set down her hammer. "If you really want to remember, then you should keep baking and doing what you''re doing. The people who remember their old lives the longest seem to be the ones with classes that align with their memories. You got lucky with that culinary mage class, so use it."


    That was reassuring, even if she was probably just trying to make me feel better.


    "Okay, then that''s what I''ll do." I nodded, smiling as the slime tried to lean forward and gobble up the cookies like I wouldn''t notice. I nudged the pot away so they could keep cooling. "Is there somewhere I can get an oven and other baking supplies? Maybe a house or a cafe I could work at or something?"


    "What''s a cafe?" she asked.


    "It''s..."


    What was a cafe? It was at the tip of my tongue, but I couldn''t seem to place it. I rubbed my temples as a headache started to form.


    A happy little moan made me forget about the cafe as Fiona bit into a cookie, her eyes closed as if she was savoring the taste.


    "These are amazing!" She grabbed a second one before she was even done with the first. "You really can bake food that tastes good!"


    I grinned with pride, picking out some cookies for the slime. He trilled with excitement as he ate them, wiggling in what I hoped was enjoyment.


    Finally, I tried some for myself. The cookies were still warm and gooey, falling apart in my hands. I took a bite, sighing as the chocolate melted in my mouth. The buttery taste filled my senses, warming my soul as well as my body.


    Chocolate chip cookies really were the perfect comfort food. Nobody could be sad while eating one of these.


    All too soon the cookies were gone, devoured between the three of us.


    "Wanna make some more?" Fiona asked, already holding out the ingredients with a hopeful look.


    I laughed. "Sure, I''ll make all the cookies you want."


    The slime bounced happily and Fiona slowly reached out to pet him. He cooed and leaned into her hand as she smiled. Cookies apparently had the power to bond people and slimes together too.


    Guess I''d be baking a lot of them then.

 Chapter 7 - Slimes, Slides, and Sweets

    With full bellies and almost a hundred cookies in our inventories, I was now a level 3 culinary mage with even more new skills available. I was too tired to look at them yet though since cooking in such small batches on a portable stove took way longer than using a full oven. Especially since I had to keep waiting for my mana to refill even after upgrading it to 6.


    That ingredient efficiency skill just ate up too much mana for my liking, but at least we''d have monster treats for a while and that was too important to pass up.


    Getting to the safe zone had to be my next priority, because that was the only place I''d be able to bake in peace with a potentially full kitchen. The idea was pretty exciting actually, so I packed up all my stuff and got to my feet.


    ¡°You ready?¡± I asked Fiona, who groaned and held her stomach.


    ¡°Let me lie here for a bit longer.¡±


    She¡¯d eaten way more cookies than I expected, but I took it as a compliment that my food was worth eating too much of. Even the slime looked like he was full as cookies hovered in his translucent body.


    The idea of a cafe called to me and the more I baked, the more real it felt. Memories tugged at my mind about a cozy place where people could gather and enjoy good food and drinks. It felt like a dream I¡¯d had for a long time, something deep-rooted that wouldn¡¯t be so easy to erase. Was something like that really possible in a dungeon though?


    I fed the slime one last cookie, which was a [Chocolate Chip Cookie Level 4] after all my hard work and repetition. Turns out the system gave out mastery bonuses for things you repeated enough times, so my cookies were now baking one level higher than my own level. That would come in handy for sure when facing tougher monsters like those crispy cluckers from earlier.


    It seemed like everything I did put XP toward something, which was honestly a little hard to keep track of. Making progress and being rewarded for things felt so satisfying though. I bet everyone who got to the final floor of the dungeon felt like they''d accomplished the biggest thing in their entire lives. A goal worth working toward, even if I was planning a roundabout way of getting there.


    ¡°So, how do we get to the next floor?¡± I asked.


    ¡°You need one of these.¡± Fiona pulled an ancient-looking bronze key out of her inventory. ¡°Hold it out like you¡¯re unlocking a door and one will just sort of appear for you.¡±


    ¡°Sounds easy enough, but where did you get the key from?¡±


    She winced. ¡°They¡¯re given out randomly from monster drops, so I don¡¯t know how you¡¯ll find any without fighting.¡±


    This dungeon really was set up for fighting and nothing else. It¡¯s like the whole concept revolved around fight, kill, repeat. It didn¡¯t sit right with me.


    ¡°You can use mine for now,¡± Fiona said. ¡°This one''s a mystery key though, so it could take us one, two, or three floors down. We won''t know until we use it."


    "So we could end up pretty much at the safe zone if we''re lucky?"


    Fiona shook her head. "There''s a floor boss we''ll have to beat before we get there. Even the keys won''t skip that."


    "A floor boss?" She hadn''t mentioned that fun little detail before, but how bad could it be? We were still on the starter floors and I had delicious cookies. "I''m sure we can handle it."


    She laughed. "Look at you all cocky after leveling up a bit. If we end up at the floor boss, we''re screwed though. Level 3 is not high enough, unless you''re okay with me killing it for you."


    I reached over to pet the slime, remembering why I was doing all this. I didn''t want to hurt anyone. "Okay, we''ll level more first then so my baking will be good enough to win the boss over."


    "That''s the spirit." Fiona stood up, stretching her arms high. "Now, you¡¯ll want to hold onto that slime tight. Just in case.¡±


    ¡°Just in case of what?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll see.¡± She held the key out, summoning an old wooden door with intricate carvings on it. ¡°Remember to hold onto the slime.¡±


    That warning felt far too ominous, but she opened the door and stepped inside before I could ask again. I picked up Jellybean, holding him close. The other side of the door was so dark I couldn¡¯t see anything. Logically there should be stairs or something since we were going down a floor, right?


    Jellybean chirped in my arms, but didn¡¯t quiver in fear or anything, so this must be fine. I took a deep breath and stepped through.


    The floor was slick and angled down so much that I slipped, almost falling forward. My instinct was to reach out and catch myself, but the slime pushed back against me, knocking me safely onto my backside. Then we started sliding, faster and faster down a chute that bent and curved making my head spin.


    The dungeon floors were connected by slides??


    Before I could think about that too long, I was shooting out the other door into open air. My stomach dropped as we plummeted toward a massive blue slime fighting against what looked like a group of adventurers. I clutched Jellybean tight, preparing for the worst. Even if we survived the fall, how would we win over something like that?


    [Colossos Slime: Level 10]


    I glared at the message box. It was three times my level? Really? I clamped my eyes shut as we continued to fall even though we seemed to be moving slower than before. Almost like we had a parachute or the air had thickened.


    "You''ll be fine!" Fiona shouted. "Just relax."


    Like that was ever going to happen. I curled up into a ball as we gently hit the slime''s jiggly body and bounced off it, landing on the ground safe and sound. I opened my eyes in awe as the slime towered over me.


    "Thanks," I said, my heartbeat pounding in my ears. "You saved us."


    The big slime stared down at me, but I wasn''t afraid like when those crispy cluckers had chased me. Slimes were different. There was just something comforting about them, even when they were twice my height.


    I reached out, running my hand across the slime''s side. "You''re a good slime."


    Jellybean leaned forward to brush against the colossos slime too, which seemed to be a deciding factor because the giant slime nuzzled us back, rubbing against my hand warmly.


    Stolen story; please report.


    "Awww...." A smile spread across my face as I wrapped both arms around the big guy in a hug. "You''re adorable."


    A man gasped behind me. "What the hell is she doing? Is she trying to get eaten?"


    "No," Fiona said in an amused voice. "She''s just...a slime friend."


    My cheek pressed against the big slime as I gave him one last squeeze. It felt like hugging a giant tree when your arms couldn''t wrap all the way around it. Then I stood back and glanced at Fiona to make sure she was fine too.


    "Guess we have bad luck with floor keys, huh?"


    She grinned. "Or good luck. Depending on how much that slime friend title helps you."


    The other two adventurers glared at me, one of them stepping forward, hand clenched on his sword. "I don''t care who you are, but we were in the middle of a boss battle. Step aside."


    The big slime whimpered and the sound tugged at my heart. How could they attack something so sweet?


    I stood firm, putting myself between him and the adventurers. "No way. You''ll have to go through me."


    "That''s fine with us," the angry one said. "You''ll just respawn on the first floor, far away from here."


    My eyes widened. So that''s what happened when you died in the dungeon? You respawned? That was actually very reassuring. I''d risk a respawn if it meant protecting this big boss slime.


    I glanced back, trying to see if it had a health bar.


    [20/500 HP]


    No! It was so close to death.


    "Will the slime respawn too?" I asked Fiona.


    She frowned. "I''ve never asked, but I think so? Nothing truly dies in the dungeon."


    I couldn''t take that risk, not if she wasn''t absolutely sure. The small slime had somehow hopped on top of the larger one like a little slime hat. They were honestly just too adorable. I''d protect them with everything I had.


    "Just listen," I said, facing the new adventurers, "you don''t have to fight him. I can help you win the boss over in a way that everyone wins."


    The one in back frowned. "How would you do that?"


    I pulled out my secret weapon: the delicious chocolate chip cookies we''d made earlier. "With these!"


    They stared at me, hard, before breaking down laughing. "She''s crazy. Let''s get this fight over with."


    Then they charged at us. My feet felt like lead, unable to move. I wanted to protect the slimes, but I also didn''t want to die even if there was a respawn. Would I still be the same person after that? Would I--


    "Knock it off," Fiona shouted before barreling into the men and shoving them out of the way. "The lady said she''d win the slime over. So you''re going to let her try."


    She clenched her hammer in her hands as a gleeful smile spread across her face, reminding me of when she scared the chickens off. The adventurers cowered, scooting back just a bit, and I couldn''t help but smile.


    Fiona had saved me once again.


    "How''d I get so lucky meeting you?" I asked.


    She gripped her hammer tighter, keeping an eye on the adventurers. "Just feed the slime a cookie, okay?"


    "No problem." I turned my back on the adventurers, certain that Fiona would keep them away, and faced the boss slime again. "I can''t heal you, but I do have some cookies if you want them."


    They were only level 4 cookies, but hopefully my slime friend skills would help and maybe the slime being low on health would affect things too. There was so much I didn''t know about my abilities, but I prayed this would work. I didn''t want anyone to hurt him again.


    I held a handful of cookies out to the boss slime and waited to see what he would do. The little slime on top chirped and wiggled, as if urging the colossos slime to take them.


    The big boss opened his mouth wide enough to gobble me up, but just took the cookies instead. The feel of a slimy mouth on my skin tickled and I couldn''t help but laugh. As the slime munched on the cookies, he perked up, swaying side to side.


    "Do you like them?" I asked, reaching for more out of my inventory. "You can have as many as you want. If we run out, I''ll bake more."


    After eating every cookie I had, message boxes started appearing in the air.


    [Slime Friend title upgraded to Slime Guardian, because you are far too impressive to be anything less.]


    [New Skills Available]


    A warm fuzzy feeling settled in my chest as I read that, grateful that the system thought a simple baker like me was impressive. If it hadn''t changed to let me bake for these creatures instead of fight them, I''d have been miserable.


    [Colossos Slime Defeated]


    [Rewards: Slime Jelly, Sugar, a New Recipe for Slime Pudding, and a Boss Slime Bracelet]


    The ingredients rained down on us, disappearing with a soft chime as they got close to each person. The bracelet only fell for me though, sliding over my wrist perfectly. It glowed a soft blue and felt like it was made of slime material, elastic and smooth just like they were. What was it for?


    [Boss Slime Bracelet is a cosmetic item that adds a passive boost to all slime guardian skills. If the boss slime trusts you, so will the others]


    The boss slime nudged me, staring at me expectantly. I smiled, hugging the slime tight.


    "Thank you for the bracelet," I said, admiring how its color matched the slime perfectly. "It''s beautiful."


    The slime wiggled happily in my arms.


    "What the hell is this reward?" the angry adventurer asked. "Food? We got rewarded with food??"


    Fiona shrugged. "If you knew how good that food could taste, you wouldn''t be complaining."


    As they grumbled, the boss slime bounced out of the way, revealing a beautiful metal door behind him.


    "Is that the way to the safe zone?" I asked.


    Fiona nodded. "Yup, you can only find it once the slime''s been defeated. Guess the dungeon uses that term pretty loosely with you though, huh?"


    The other adventurers pushed past us, shaking their heads.


    "We didn''t even get any XP for that," one of them said. "Next time, stay out of our way, slime lover."


    "Yeah yeah," I said, rolling my eyes as I leaned against the boss slime and whispered, "I''ll save you every time if I need to."


    He pressed up against me, almost knocking me over. I laughed and hugged him again.


    "We should get going," Fiona said. "The door usually stays open until the boss respawns, but since the boss never died..."


    "You have no idea what''ll happen, right?"


    "Exactly."


    I patted the boss slime one more time. "We''ve gotta go. It was nice to meet you."


    The slime''s body drooped and Jellybean fell off. I caught him in my arms, feeling horrible that I was taking one of them with me and leaving the other. He was the boss for this floor though. I couldn''t really take him with me...could I?


    Fiona led me toward the door, but when I turned back and saw the boss slime all by himself on this big empty floor, I couldn''t help myself.


    "Do you want to come with us?" I asked hopefully.


    The giant slime bounced in excitement, but paused, blinking slowly. Then he shook his body and moved back. Jellybean chirped at him as an ache spread through my chest. He didn''t think he should come with us? Was that because he didn''t want to or because he wasn''t allowed to?


    "I''ll take care of you," I promised. "I''m not really sure how, but I''ll figure it out. You don''t deserve to be killed by adventurers day after day, respawning just to fight again. You deserve to relax and eat all the cookies you want."


    "Are you sure about this?" Fiona asked. "The town won''t like it. They''ll probably kick you out."


    "Then they''ll kick me out," I said with a shrug. "If they''re that cold-hearted, they don''t deserve my food anyway."


    At that, the boss slime hopped closer, following me to the door that was far too small for his huge body. The boss slime changed his shape into more of a rectangle, just barely squeeeezzinnng through the door.


    That silly little squeeze made my heart soar. I saved another adorable slime today, which was the best feeling. Protecting them had started off as a way to keep my mind busy, focusing on one objective at a time to stay sane. But now? Protecting them meant something more. They were innocents in a violent world that didn''t even give them a chance.


    I''d protect as many of them as I could and hopefully one day, this dungeon would be a safer place for them. Everyone deserved to feel safe.

 Chapter 8 - The Dungeon of Eternal Embers

    The Dungeon of Eternal Embers'' Point of View


    The Dungeon''s mission was clear: keep everyone busy and keep them advancing to the last floor.


    It had been fun at first, setting traps for adventurers to fall into, changing the layout of the floors, and hiding treasure chests in the weirdest places. Watching it all play out from the embers in the walls was pretty awesome, but after a few centuries, the Dungeon''s mind was practically on autopilot.


    Nothing interested it anymore. Not the battles between adventurers and minotaurs, not the monsters swimming in lava pools, and especially not the constant starting over. It just wanted to see something new. Something exciting.


    New and exciting wasn''t the point of this dungeon though. The point was to give adventurers and monsters a place to improve themselves by leveling up.


    The Dungeon was just so tired of it though. Maybe it was time for another Dungeon Core to take over. Its flames were already burning low, practically an ember itself. If it let things continue as they were, it would disappear and no longer be bored.


    An energetic satyr bounded into the Core Chamber. He was one of the Daves, but the Dungeon wasn''t sure which one.


    "My lord," Dave said through wheezes, "something''s happened."


    Oh? Had the Dungeon''s wish for something new and interesting finally come to pass?


    Dave took a minute to catch his breath. "The woman you gave the culinary mage class to has been....baking."


    A culinary mage class? Hmmmm...the Dungeon vaguely remembered doing that, but it felt like a while ago. Time blended together after a few years running the dungeon. That woman was interesting though and it had kept in touch with her through system messages occasionally. To think she''d chosen a sandwich instead of a sword or a bow.


    But that was probably not why Dave was here looking like he was having a meltdown. Why was baking such a problem? Humans did it all the time, so it was nothing new.


    The Dungeon relayed that to Dave through the ember shard in his head, but the satyr just sighed.


    "It''s not the baking that''s the problem, it''s what she''s doing with it." He stared at the core''s flames, at the embers burning brightly inside them, and lowered his voice. "She lured the slime boss on floor four away with cookies. With cookies!"


    That last part was followed by a lot of mumbling and moaning as the Dungeon shifted its attention to the fourth floor. Sure enough, it was empty. Nothing was guarding the door to the safe zone. It was just wide open for any adventurer to stroll through.


    If the Dungeon could laugh, it would have.


    It had never eaten food before, but these things called cookies must be very tasty to have swayed such a dedicated monster. The Dungeon had a sudden urge to try one.


    "Why did you even make a culinary mage class of all things?" Dave moaned, then froze. "Sorry, my lord. I didn''t mean to question your vast wisdom."


    The Dungeon did not mind and it relayed that to Dave, who smiled gratefully.


    Honestly, that decision had been a little impulsive. But that''s what happened when somebody got too bored. Plus, all the mortal textbooks in its memory bank indicated that chefs were the closest thing to using sandwiches as weapons and mages had the most diversity in skills. Hence culinary mage just made the most sense.


    A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    Or at least, that''s what the Dungeon had convinced itself of, but maybe it had just wanted to see what would happen.


    "So, about the slime boss," Dave continued slowly. "What should we do? She''s taking it to the safe zone. Her title was even upgraded to Slime Guardian!"


    Dave frowned at that, but the Dungeon hadn''t had anything to do with it. Once a title was given, it upgraded on its own, same as the skills.


    Okay, so the Dungeon had given the original title, but that was besides the point.


    What should they do now?


    Its flames grew brighter as the Dungeon considered all the possibilities. It could assign a new slime boss, but that would still mean the other one was in a safe zone, which threw off the balance entirely. It could force the original slime boss to return, but then the culinary mage would probably follow it trying to save it, which would also throw off the balance.


    How could this be solved without interfering in the adventurer''s path too much?


    By giving her another choice!


    Keep the slime boss, but leave the safe zone, or send the boss back and keep herself safe.


    Except, if she actually chose the slime boss, she''d be in a tough spot all alone on a dangerous floor that she was far too low level for. The Dungeon wasn''t that cruel. If she chose that route, it would reward her.


    But what would such an adventurer want? It browsed through ember memories until it happened upon a conversation about a cafe.


    Ah, it could make one of those for her. The Dungeon could add it as a mystical place that had been abandoned, but nobody remembered why. With enough dust and weathering, it would look aged, like it had been there the whole time. Plus, it would keep the culinary mage busy fixing everything up.


    Since she liked slimes, the Dungeon could move some to the cafe''s floor for her to see what else she could do with that Slime Guardian title. Maybe grow some tea nearby so she had something easy to serve customers starting out. Hmmm...the cafe would need a lot of room to expand too in case she gathered a whole slime army.


    Maybe it should use an ember shard to stay connected to the cafe better? The building could be like a miniature dungeon, capable of changing shape and size to suit her needs. Yes, that would be interesting for sure. Like a little game between the two of them.


    Now, would she prefer a modern design or an old one? Two levels or just one? It should definitely have a big garden out back, maybe overgrown with a bit of a surprise inside...


    Excitement coursed through the Dungeon''s embers for the first time in ages. This was exactly the kind of thing it had been looking for.


    Dave stepped back as the core''s flames shot up high. "Ummm, my lord? Is everything okay?"


    Everything was more than okay. New thoughts and plans raced through the Dungeon like wildfire.


    But what if she didn''t choose to stay with the boss slime? What if she chose to send it back?


    The core''s flames died down a bit. If she chose that, then she wouldn''t be worthy of such a wonderful gift in the first place. She''d have to be tested.


    The Dungeon relayed its plans to Dave, ordering the satyr to go to the safe zone and test the culinary mage. If she chose to keep the slime with her, Dave was to let her know about the cafe and tell her she could use it. But only if the adventurer refused to leave the slime.


    Dave scratched at the base of his horns. "But my lord, I''m supposed to be welcoming newcomers. The meadow already has two new sleepers just from the time I''ve been here."


    The Dungeon mentally sighed before contacting the fifth floor Dave and relaying all its instructions. That Dave had the same response this one did, full of lots of moans and anxious words. It was tiring.


    The Daves were always so dedicated, but they liked things done a certain way. Unexpected things made them panic, especially when one thing snowballed into two or three. That kind of situation was like a nightmare for the Daves.


    Had the Dungeon programmed them that way on purpose? It couldn''t remember, and honestly, it no longer cared.


    Because right now, it had a cafe to design.


    Dave started to take off, but the Dungeon called him back, remembering one last thing. She was only a level 3 and would be on floor 6, so she''d need an easy way to move between that floor and the safe zone.


    It shaped one of the coals used to fuel its flames into a special key, one that would allow her to enter the cafe from anywhere. A safety precaution and a way to always give her a place to go should she need it. The Dungeon was probably doting on her a bit too much, but it was happy to do so.


    The Dungeon of Eternal Embers was not supposed to be an easy dungeon to get through though, so maybe the key should only work once every 24 hours. To keep things fair.


    "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Dave asked. "You''re spending a lot of time on one adventurer. Is she really worth it?"


    The Dungeon paused for a moment to think about that. Something about this woman called to it, needling its mind like she was an important piece to some puzzle it had been working on. Only time would tell if the Dungeon was right about her or not.


    For now, it put the finishing touches on the key for her new cafe and sent it soaring through the air to Dave.


    Then the Dungeon continued designing the rest of the cafe, its flames crackling brightly.

 Chapter 9 - The Dungeons Offer

    Unlike the fast slide between floors 1 and 4, the door to the safe zone had opened to a stone stairway that seemed to go on forever. It felt like we''d been walking down for over an hour, but it was hard to tell since I hadn''t seen any way to actually keep time in this dungeon. There were no clocks, no movement of the sun, nothing.


    My legs were starting to feel the burn though, especially after all that running earlier. I just wanted to sit down, relax, and find somewhere safe to sleep. Maybe that''s how I''d keep track of time. When I got tired, that would mean a day had passed.


    "Think it''s much further?" I called out to Fiona. The big boss slime was between us, filling every inch of the stone corridor, so I couldn''t actually see her.


    The soft plop plop of the boss slime hopping down the stairs was the only sound I could hear.


    "Fiona?"


    I waited, but no answer came. That was not a good sign. I clutched Jellybean to my chest. Fiona wouldn''t have just left me, not without saying something. So why wasn''t she answering?


    The boss slime stopped abruptly and I face-planted into his jelly-like body. I bounced off, stumbling back a few steps.


    "Sorry about that, you okay?" I asked, checking on the slime in my arms. He chirped and wiggled, perfectly fine. "Good, now what''s up, Boss Slime?"


    The squishing sound of it squeezing through another doorway made me let out a breath. We finally made it to the exit! How had three floors flown by in moments while one floor took ages? This dungeon should come with an instruction manual.


    As the boss slime lurched through the doorway, I made my escape onto the next dungeon floor: the safe zone I''d been dreaming about ever since I heard the term. I wouldn''t have to worry about monster chickens or three-headed snakes or anything else. I could finally relax after far too long of a day.


    Except, instead of the picturesque medieval town I''d been imagining, it looked more like we''d stepped into an overgrown jungle. Large vines hung from the ceiling, swaying around me like snakes. The ground was uneven, made of weathered stones covered in moss. Humidity thickened the air, leaving small pools of water everywhere.


    "Is this...the safe zone?" I asked, turning to where Fiona should be. Except instead of Fiona, Dave was standing there.


    Of course that extra-long walk had something to do with him. I wouldn''t be surprised if he was the reason I was here in the first place, like some sort of Game Master.


    I turned to go right back up the stairs, but the door swung shut and disappeared. It reminded me far too much of when I first entered the dungeon and had turned back to ask Dave something, but there''d been nothing but a solid stone wall behind me.


    "Whatever you''re here for, I don''t want it."


    "You don''t even know what I want yet," Dave said. "And you did take my lunch. I think you owe me."


    "Calling that a lunch is pushing it," I said, staring at him. "Is something different about you?"


    Were his horns smaller? Or maybe his hooves were trimmed? No, his light-brown fur was fluffier. While I''d been getting treed by crispy cluckers, he''d been getting his hair done.


    Dave frowned at me. "I''m always the same, but that''s not the point. You stole a floor boss."


    I glanced sideways at the boss slime who was investigating what looked like a giant venus fly trap, nudging it curiously. One of its spiny heads opened, snapping at the slimes. The boss slime was far too large to eat, but Jellybean seemed very offended. He bounced at the venus fly trap, as if he was yelling at it.


    Wait, was that a monster too? Were there plant monsters on this floor?


    [Venus Flytrap: Level 9]


    Level 9? A shiver went down my spine as I stepped away from it, making sure to steer clear of the hanging vines too. All I wanted was a place to sleep, so why was I here with Dave and those creepy monster plants?


    Dave cleared his throat. "Are you even listening?"


    "Yes, of course," I nodded as the monster gobbled up Jellybean. "No!"


    I raced over, trying to pry its mouth open. This was the chicken and the slime all over again! Except this monster''s spiny lips were sealed. The boss slime backed me up, leaping high and crashing down on most of the flytrap''s heads. Even after that it wouldn''t let the little one go, the damned overgrown houseplant.


    "Don''t you dare hurt Jellybean," I muttered. "He''s my slime, not yours."


    Another one of the flytrap''s heads snapped at me, but I jumped out of the way. It thought it could hurt my friend, huh? Well I''d show it how wrong it was. I opened my item box, searching for something I could feed it that would be tastier than the slime, but I was woefully short on food and I wasn''t sure how long it took for a plant to digest a slime...


    "Uh, Hazel?" Dave asked, annoyance clear in his voice. "Back to the whole you stole a floor boss thing."


    "Seriously?" I snapped at him, my arms tired from wrestling a plant who had zero manners. "Help me deal with this and then we can talk."


    Dave sighed. "Fine, but then we''re going to have a serious discussion."


    He opened an invisible menu, pressed some buttons, and poof, the flytrap was gone. All that was left was the little blue slime I''d grown quite fond of, falling to the ground. It bounced and rolled onto his head, staring up at me with a silly upside-down smile.


    I sank onto the ground, pulling him into my arms for a hug. Jellybean quivered against me, nuzzling close like I was his savior. That was actually Dave though.


    "Thank you," I said. "I really appreciate your help."


    "You are so strange." He shook his head at me. "I think I already know how this will end, but I have to bring it up anyway. The slimes are why you got stuck in the stairway for so long. They''re monsters, so they can''t enter a safe zone."


    He paused there, giving me his best duh look. I had a feeling he wanted me to say ohhhhh of course, that makes total sense, but I didn''t have a thing against monsters like he seemed to. So I just sat there, petting the slime until he stopped shaking.


    Dave scratched the base of his horns. "Don''t you get it? Your friend Fiona got into the safe zone just fine, but after her, the door shut again. The Dungeon will not allow any monsters into a safe zone. So if you stick with them, you''re screwed."


    I''d never be able to enter a safe zone...ever? I had a few ingredients to bake with, but this floor was way too high-leveled for me to search for more. If I stayed here, I''d probably be monster food in no time.


    But even so...I couldn''t just abandon these two slimes. Not after they''d decided to join me. I told them I''d protect them, so that''s what I''d do.


    "I''m not abandoning them," I said firmly. "So I guess I''m just screwed. Any advice?"


    Dave sighed. "If you''d chosen an actual weapon instead of my lunch, maybe, but you keep making the most foolhardy choices. You can''t survive here. Please, go to the safe zone. The slimes will be fine on their own."


    Would they really? Neither of them were from this floor either, so they''d be at a disadvantage. Plus, adventurers would come to slay them for the XP soon enough. I hugged Jellybean tight and stood up.


    "Thanks for the information," I said, brushing dirt off my uniform. "But I''m staying with the slimes."


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    Dave shook his head, sighing loudly and muttering something about the Dungeon always being right.


    "Fine. I can offer you one thing that might help." The satyr held out an ornate black key. "This is the key for an old abandoned cafe at the edge of this floor. It''s sort of like a safe zone with no fighting allowed, so if you can make it there, you''ll stand a better chance of surviving."


    My eyes widened. "There''s a cafe here? Really?"


    An hour ago I couldn''t remember what a cafe was for sure, but now images flooded my mind of cute little cafes full of baked goods and smiling people. How could I have forgotten about that? Opening a cafe had been my dream for so many years and now Dave was just...giving me the key to one?


    That seemed a little too good to be true.


    "What''s the catch?" I asked warily.


    "You just have to run it, that''s all. Now take the key before I change my mind."


    I snatched the key up, which was warm like it had been resting near a fire. The feeling was oddly comforting, so I gripped it tight. It didn''t matter if the cafe was rundown or beautiful, whatever this key led to was mine. My very own cafe.


    The boss slime jumped up and plopped onto another venus flytrap monster, rocking back and forth without a care in the world. At least it was high enough level to survive here, but the little slime and me would have problems. We should really get going. Dave had said we''d be safe if we made it to the cafe. Which meant we probably had some ground to cover between now and then.


    "So where is this fabled cafe you''re giving me?" I asked.


    "Straight ahead."


    Okay, then that''s where we''d go. "Ready for this, slimes?"


    The boss slime lumbered closer as Jellybean chirped in my arms. But before we set off, Dave shouted.


    "Wait!" He ran a hand across his face, wincing. "I almost forgot the most important part. That key is connected to the cafe''s front door, so if you use it on another floor, that''s where you''ll go every time. It won''t disappear like other dungeon keys after using it either, but you can only use it once a day."


    Well that was useful. He''d basically given me a surefire way to go home no matter what danger I was in. My very own safety net. I hadn''t realized he cared so much.


    "Thanks, that''s awesome," I said, once again feeling like there had to be some kind of catch here, but Dave just nodded.


    "Oh and you can always go backwards," he added. "So if you do need to go to the safe zone, you can just turn around and go upstairs. Without the slimes, of course."


    I groaned. "You waited until now to tell me that? Shouldn''t that have been in your original tutorial?"


    Dave shrugged. "Sometimes you need to learn things as you go. If I told you everything all at once, it would ruin the experience. Now hurry up and find the cafe."


    [New Quest: Find the Cafe]


    Find the cafe was like a magical phrase that erased all thoughts of sleep from my mind. My body moved with newfound energy as the slimes and I got ready to search the jungle floor for the mystical cafe that was going to be our new home.


    I turned around, ready to set off on our great cafe adventure, but instead came face to face with a giant walking mushroom.


    "Oh no," I said, shaking my head as I stepped back to stop Dave from walking through that oh so handy door of his, "not a chance. I don''t do mushrooms. Their texture is just all wrong."


    "It''s not like you''re going to eat it," Dave said, exasperation coloring his voice. "Make your slimes fight it."


    The slimes tilted their bodies, as if asking if I wanted them to. But they were so cute and adorable, I couldn''t make them fight for me.


    "Or maybe you just take me to the cafe yourself?" I asked Dave, smiling sweetly.


    Dave stared blankly at me as the mushroom inched closer on legs that should have been too small to carry its large body. Was it at least something my food could defeat?


    [Walking Mushroom: Level 8]


    Not so much. At least it was weaker than the flytrap from earlier. I pulled out my trusty weapon, [Dave''s Lunch], and tossed pieces of the grilled cheese to the mushroom. The idea of food eating food was so trippy, but the mushroom just ignored it.


    "Seriously?" Dave asked. "You''re just going to toss my lunch on the ground right in front of me? How rude. So you''re a thief and you litter."


    Watching him get overwhelmed by every little thing was kind of amusing, but I was mainly just trying to distract the mushroom long enough for Dave to bring me to the cafe. Once I got there, I could spend a few days baking and leveling up my skills so I could handle myself on this floor. If I had to show him how weak and pathetic I was for now, with my poor little sandwich weapon, then that''s what I''d do. Maybe he''d be open to a bargain...


    "Well, I could make you a real lunch to make up for it," I said, circling the mushroom so it stayed just far enough away that it wouldn''t do any damage, "but I''d need a real stove for that. Ingredients. Cooking utensils. The kinds of things you''d find at, oh I don''t know, a cafe?"


    Dave rolled his eyes. "Did you really think that would work?"


    "I was hoping so," I said with a shrug. "Look, you''re the one with all the safe zone rules that didn''t let me rest and level up like everyone else gets to. So I feel like you can at least show me the way to the makeshift safe zone yourself. Be my knight in shining armor here."


    The boss slime booped the mushroom, sending it flying a few feet. Its legs wiggled as it tried to stand back up, reminding me of a turtle stuck on its back. I would have smiled, if it wasn''t a mushroom. But then it stood back up and ambled toward us again. Even though it was my least favorite food, I still didn''t want to kill it.


    "What do you say?" I asked Dave. "Let me make you the best meal you''ve ever had or watch me get killed by a silly walking mushroom?"


    He paused for far too long, as if he really was debating it. "Will there be leftovers?"


    "If that''s what it''ll take to let me through that door," I said, nodding at the exit, "then I''ll make so many leftovers you''ll fill your item box."


    "I don''t need that many, just one extra meal." He closed the door, sorted through his keys, and summoned another door. "Now let''s get going before I have to watch you rolling around with this mushroom any longer. I am a busy person, you know."


    I grinned as Dave not only opened the door, but held it open for both slimes to bounce through. He really was kind of nice, once you got past the annoyed glances and sighs.


    "You know, if you''ve got a wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend," I said, stepping through the door, "you can just bring them to the cafe with you. You don''t need to take food home for them."


    "It''s not like that," he said, but he slammed the door shut a little too hard. "I just have a colleague who''s been interested in your food."


    "Really?" I asked, doubting anyone had actually heard about my baking skills yet. "It''s fine if you just want more food for yourself. That''s kind of sweet actually, you assuming my food will be that good."


    "Just get moving," he said, nudging me to follow the slimes.


    I laughed and did as he wanted, moving through the stone corridor with ease since it didn''t have any stairs this time.


    "Wait, how are the slimes going to open the door to get us out?"


    "The doors can open themselves," he said, as if that should have been obvious. "Maybe I do need to add more to the initial tutorial..."


    It kind of felt like he just called me dumb, but I was going to let that slide. He was doing me a pretty big favor here in keeping my hands mushroom free. Just like he said, the door opened itself and the boss slime squeezed out.


    Anticipation thrummed through me. What would the cafe be like? Would it be big and airy, maybe part of the landscape like built into a tree? Or would it be more like an abandoned ruin, all stone and moss? This was a dungeon after all, so I expected something fantastical.


    But when we stepped outside the life-saving dungeon corridor, all I saw was a tiny wooden shed with a sign that said, "cafe name here".


    "Uhhh....Dave?" I asked, trying not to let my disappointment show on my face. "Are you sure this is the right place?"


    "Of course it is," he muttered. "Do you really think I''d get lost?"


    But his eyes had widened when he saw the cafe shed. He glanced around slowly, forcing an awkward smile on his face. "Welcome to the cafe. I''ll be back for my reward later."


    "Wait!"


    But he was already gone, slipping into another door like some kind of magician. He had definitely expected something different, it wasn''t my imagination. The way he''d built it up made it feel like some mystical fairy cafe, not a broom closet.


    I took the coal black key out of my pocket and lifted it to the lock in the door. It fit perfectly, turning without a single bit of resistance. There was no mistaking it then: this was the cafe.


    I said I''d be fine with it no matter the state, but seriously? I doubted we could all fit inside, let alone fit a kitchen and room for guests. But if Dave had been right about monsters not being able to fight here, then it was still worth staying the night at. Especially with how long the day had been.


    "Well slimes, let''s head in and get some sleep," I said, swinging the creaky door open as I covered up a yawn. "We can figure out the rest tomorrow."


    The slimes hopped inside, smooshing into all the dark corners of the room. There weren''t any windows and we didn''t have a lantern, so it was going to be a bit of a dark night. The slimes shifted a bit, making a hole in between them. I smiled, ignoring my unease and just going with the flow. This was a safe zone after all and these slimes obviously wanted me to join them.


    I snuggled up between them, surprisingly comfortable against their dough-like bodies. We had a roof over our heads and we were safe. That''s all I could ask for right now.


    [Quest Completed: Find the Cafe]


    I flinched as the bright message box seared my vision. I was far too tired to deal with any more system messages right now. I waved my hand, feeling like I might have just swiped a box on accident, but my eyelids were too heavy to double check.


    So much had happened since I woke up in that meadow. I''d befriended adorable slimes, got chased by terrifying monsters, met a great new friend, and got my own cafe. All that in one day was pretty overwhelming honestly, but I was sleepily excited to see what tomorrow would bring.


    This dungeon might be terrifying, but it was also full of some wonderful things.

 Chapter 10 - Garden Cleanup

    "Bawk, bawk, baaaawwwkkkk."


    I squeezed my eyes closed, not at all ready to wake up yet.  The slimes were like soft, squishy pillows that were perfectly formed to my body and I just wanted to ignore the day and stay inside with them.  Even if it was cramped beyond belief in this tiny shack.


    "Bawwwkkkkk."


    Was that a chicken outside?  No, please tell me the crispy cluckers hadn''t followed me all the way here for revenge.  Dave had said this cafe was a safe zone, so maybe if I ignored the chicken, it would go away?


    A soft tapping at the door made my eyes fly open.  Was the chicken knocking?  No, it was probably just pecking for food.  Or to drive me crazy until I opened the door.


    The inside of the shack was dark since it had no windows, so I wasn''t even sure if I could find the door.  I shifted, my legs screaming at me to stretch them out, but there was no room between me and the slimes.  This place just wasn''t built for three.


    The chicken''s pecking got more insistent, vibrating through the walls.


    "Okay, okay," I mumbled.  "Don''t burn the cafe down."


    I fumbled my way to the door, squinting as bright daylight seared my eyes.  Did it ever get dark in this dungeon?  I blinked until my eyes adjusted, then stared at the single tiny chicken outside my cafe.  Its feathers puffed up as I studied it, but before I could do anything, Jellybean hopped out of the cafe, mouth wide open.


    "Don''t you dare!" I shouted, diving for the chicken before Jellybean could start the chicken wars all over again.


    The tiny bird trembled in my hands as Jellybean tilted his body, giving me a sad look like I''d just taken his favorite toy away.


    "Baby chickens are friends, not food," I said forcefully as I pet the bird to calm it down.  Its feathers were soft and fluffy.  "It''s okay, little one.  Nobody will hurt you here."


    But my gaze kept wandering to the jungle floor outside, waiting for the rest of the crispy cluckers to show up and terrorize us.  Nothing moved though, not even a walking mushroom.  I let out a shaky breath.


    "Did you come here by yourself?"


    The chicken obviously didn''t answer, but since I couldn''t hear any angry clucking or the pounding of giant chicken feet, I had a feeling it was alone.  I opened my item box to grab a few strawberries, putting them on the ground as I set the chicken down.


    "Are you hungry?" I asked, glaring at Jellybean to behave.  "I don''t have any jam right now, but the strawberries are still good."


    The chicken pecked at them slowly, eyes on the slime who was keeping his distance.  I walked over and patted him on the head.


    "That''s a good boy, Jellybean.  I''ll make you a treat later."


    Jellybean chittered, leaning into my hand.  I wasn''t sure why the chicken was here, but as long as we could all get along, it should be okay.  For now, I had bigger things on my mind.  Like turning this cafe into something actually usable.


    "Hey system, is there a way to make this cafe...better?" I asked, hoping this was also like a game and there would be upgrades I could make.  "Not that I don''t appreciate it, but it''s kind of small."


    I waited for a message box to pop up, but nothing appeared. Huh. Maybe it didn''t respond to something as open-ended as that?  I hadn''t actually initiated a conversation with it before, not for anything besides skills at least.


    "Mr. System?" I asked, tilting my head as I waited for a response, but after a minute or so, I decided to get creative. "Hello? Big Blue? Sweet Potato? My darling dungeon, are you even listening?"


    Maybe that was going too far, but a message box did appear.


    [Your darling what? And how are my messages like potatoes?]


    [Nevermind. You have more important things to think about.]


    [New Quest: Garden Cleanup. The garden out back is such a mess that it will keep you busy for days, so busy you won''t have time for strange nicknames.]


    I laughed, coughing quickly to try and cover it up. Those message boxes weren''t the normal solid blue I''d become accustomed to. They had a faint pink hue around the edges, almost like the system was blushing.


    Oh that was far too adorable and made me want to tease it a little more, but I resisted the urge. It was a bit too enigmatic for me to mess with and I didn''t want to end up with some impossible quest as a result. Cleaning the garden up seemed fair enough, especially since a garden meant ingredients for my food.


    "Sorry, I was just trying to get your attention," I said, putting out a few more strawberries for the chicken. "So about the cafe upgrades?"


    [You already chose an upgrade path for this cafe as you were falling asleep.  Try not to hit random buttons next time.]


    My eyes widened.  "Wait, what path did I choose?"


    [You''ve chosen the natural cafe route, full of warm wood and soft lighting.  Your first quest was already assigned.  You must gather 50 wood, 10 clay, and 10 stone.]


    Oh, well that didn''t sound so bad.  Maybe I could find some of those while I was cleaning up the garden.  I wished I knew what other options I could have chosen for the cafe, but it felt a little too late to ask that.  I liked the natural look, plus, the system had been very kind to me so far and I didn''t want to seem ungrateful.


    "Thank you," I said.


    [You are welcome.]


    [And....you can call me Sweet Potato if you want to, but I don''t understand why you would.]


    That message had the same pretty shade of pink around it as the first one. I really hadn''t expected the system to pick a name, especially not the most ridiculous one, but it made me smile. The system was definitely a sweet potato, all warm and comforting.


    Unfortunately, Jellybean and the chicken chose that moment to start fighting.  As the slime lunged, the chicken tried to breathe fire, but all that came out was an adorable little puff of smoke.  I sighed.


    "I need to go clean up the garden," I said, staring both of them down.  "Can I trust you not to hurt each other?"


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    The chicken bawked loudly, but I wasn''t sure if that was an agreement or not.


    "Hey Boss?" I called out, wincing as the sleepy boss slime blinked at me from inside the cafe.  "Mind guarding the chicken for me?"


    I''d have to give the chicken a name if it decided to stay here long-term, but for now I''d just keep it safe and out of Jellybean''s reach.  The silly slime probably just wanted to play, but that wasn''t the kind of play a chicken appreciated.


    The boss shifted, allowing the chicken to march into the cafe like it owned the place.  They settled down together and went to sleep.  My heart warmed at the sight, loving how cozy they looked together.  This was exactly what I wanted.  A place for different people, or monsters, to feel safe and taken care of.


    "Okay, Jellybean, let''s head to the garden."


    Together we made our way to the back of the shack where the garden was supposed to be.


    The system wasn''t kidding when it said this garden was a mess. The largest weeds I''d ever seen towered over me, as if daring me to try and pull them out. I had a feeling they''d be tricky to get rid of for good, especially since I knew next to nothing about gardening. I could barely identify the rest of the plants to tell what was a weed and what wasn''t.


    Some were easy, like the tomatoes bursting through their rusty cages to spill out over the rest of the garden or the oregano that had swept across the ground like grass, filling the air with an earthy peppery scent. The other plants were a bit more difficult to identify since they were all fighting for dominance over the large patch of land.


    I smelled mint and basil coming from somewhere, but couldn''t actually see the herbs through the chaos. The garden took up the entire backyard of the cafe, but it was so overgrown that I''d have to trim it back as I went if I ever wanted to see what was in the middle. Walking through it as is wasn''t a good idea unless I wanted to risk getting covered in scratches.


    A happy little glomp noise drew my attention to the tomatoes again as Jellybean gobbled a few of them up before moving on to some kind of leafy plant. The little slime bounced from plant to plant, devouring all the useful parts of the garden.


    "Hey, leave some for me," I said, trying to reach the slime, but he just rolled away like the stealthy little creature he was.


    I shook my head, smiling as I noticed an old garden spade stuck in the dirt. I struggled to pull it out, but the soil was hard, compacted over the years of neglect.  This was going to be a lot more work than I thought.


    As I followed the slime through the garden, I found pruning shears and a shovel too. It was like the tools'' owner had just dropped them mid-use and never came back. I tried to remember what Dave had said about the cafe, but nothing specific came to mind besides it was abandoned.


    It was all very, very strange. Who would put in all the time to plant this garden and then just disappear? Based on the plants, they seemed to focus more on savory foods than sweet ones like I preferred, so I''d have to change things up a bit now that this garden was mine.


    Planting different kinds of fruit would be the most useful. I imagined beautiful red raspberries, sweet figs, delicious apples, and every other fruit this dungeon might have. Mmmm...my mouth was almost watering just thinking about it. Fruit was the perfect thing for baked goods.


    As I mused on that, I started trimming the plants back, not really sure what I was doing. I couldn''t possibly make it worse though, right? I harvested some of the rosemary, mint, and basil into my inventory, wondering if there would be ginger or pumpkins somewhere in this garden. A nice pumpkin pie sounded really good right now.


    I wiped the sweat off my brow, leaving what I assumed was a dirty streak across my forehead. Gardening gloves would be nice and a new outfit too because this baker''s uniform was not ideal for gardening.  I''d have to make a list and find the safe zone eventually.


    I bent down to trim what I thought was a weed when it shivered.  The shiver moved through the plant and into the ground, rumbling through the garden. I dropped the shears, falling on my backside in horror as the plants shifted, moving as if they had a will of their own.


    Oh please tell me this garden wasn''t full of living monster plants and I''d stolen their harvest. Or worse, pruned the wrong thing and upset them!


    "Jellybean" I called out, backing out of the garden. "This place isn''t safe, hurry up and get out."


    A great mass of plants rose up in the middle of the garden, dirt tumbling off the round monster in waves as it shook itself. My eyes widened as it got bigger and bigger, but even more so as Jellybean bounced toward the thing instead of away from it!


    "No!" I shouted, racing after the little slime. I scooped him into my arms, freezing as the monster stared at me with eyes that looked oddly familiar.


    Its body was dark brown, blending in with the dirt well if not for the translucent shimmer that I''d come to associate with slimes. That monster was actually a slime!


    Moss covered its head with plants peeking out of it like it was a living garden. It moved slowly, as if just waking up from a long nap.


    I swallowed hard, holding Jellybean tight. "Hello, sorry if we disturbed you."


    The great dirt slime groaned, sounding like the earth was opening up beneath us, but it didn''t do anything else. Just stared. Well, glared was more accurate. I took everything I''d harvested out of my inventory, laying it on the ground carefully.


    "Here, you can have it all back," I said. "I promise not to touch your plants again."


    Neither of us moved for what felt like ages until something at the edge of my vision caught my eye. Tiny dirt slimes bounced to the food I''d set out, gobbling it up just like Jellybean had. They each had one little plant growing out of their heads, like miniature versions of the great dirt slime in front of me. One of them had a broken plant, clipped off savagely.


    By me.


    That was the plant I''d been trimming right before the dirt slime sprouted out of the ground. My chest ached at the sight of the sad little dirt slime. I kneeled down, offering it a tomato.


    "I''m so sorry," I said softly. "I shouldn''t have been trimming anything without knowing what I was doing. I never meant to hurt you."


    The little dirt slime bounced back and forth, then hopped closer. I held my hand out in the air between us, letting it decide if it wanted me to pet it or not. After a few moments, the little dirt slime brushed against my hand, nuzzling into my embrace. I pet it carefully, avoiding damaging the plant growing out of it any further.


    The big dirt slime groaned again, then sank back into the dirt a bit until it was more on eye level with us. The little slimes tried to follow suit, but the ground was too hard for them to get into. They kept jumping at it, but weren''t strong enough to burrow like the big one.


    I grabbed the garden spade and broke a little patch of dirt up. The slime hopped in, wiggling around like that was the perfect spot. Awww these slimes were seriously the most adorable things I''d ever seen! Maybe they wanted water too?


    "Hold on a sec," I said as I went over to grab the watering can I''d seen earlier.


    When I poured a few drops on the little dirt slime, it trilled with excitement, closing its eyes like the feeling was heavenly. I grinned and poured more, letting a steady rain of water cover the dirt slime and the soil around it. Another little dirt slime hopped over, burrowing into the dirt beside us, nudging closer so it could get rained on too.


    I laughed and poured water on as many of them as I could find, watching them wiggle and bounce with joy. Sadly the watering can was empty by the time I got to the big dirt slime, but it just nodded like it approved of my actions while Jellybean bounced beside it, chittering away like they were having a conversation.


    This dungeon was full of so many things I didn''t understand. I couldn''t act rashly, not even when it came to gardening. This was the dirt slimes¡¯ home and I had to respect that. I could dig up another patch of land for my own little garden or even bring some pots inside for herbs. I''d figure it out.


    But the system had told me to clean up this garden. So I had to keep going if I wanted to complete that quest...


    Jellybean bounced at me until I walked back to the big slime. It blinked at me, then chirped as a carrot popped out of its head, flying into the air and landing in my hands.


    My eyes widened. "Is this for me? Are you sure?"


    The gentle giant nodded.


    "Thank you," I said, holding the carrot close. This was something dear to the slime, so it meant a lot that it had shared it with me. "Does this mean you want me to keep working in the garden? As long as I break up the dirt and water everything really well for the little ones?"


    The great dirt slime hopped out of the ground, nudging me firmly enough that I almost fell over again. I glanced at Jellybean, who hopped excitedly.


    "Does that mean we have a deal?" I asked, offering my hand to the dirt slime. "If I''m more careful and take care of the garden and the slimes, then you''ll let me use some of the food you''re growing here?"


    The slime brushed against my palm as all the little slimes circled around us, bouncing and hopping as if they''d never had so much fun in their lives.


    I grinned, gazing out at the garden full of slimes and possibilities. This dungeon was proving to be a wonderful adventure.

 Chapter 11 - Happy Slimes, Happy Times

    I fell back on the soft, damp soil in the garden, completely and utterly exhausted.  I''d removed my chef''s coat a while ago to work in my tank top, so the freshly tilled soil was cool and refreshing against my skin as I laid there.  My entire body ached from cleaning up the garden, including muscles I didn''t even know I had.  I took deep breaths, inhaling the earthy scent of freshly dug up soil.


    The little dirt slimes were having a blast, jumping in and out of the ground like this was the best game they''d ever played.  I smiled as one hopped onto my stomach while the others jumped over me and into the ground on the other side like I was an obstacle in this new game of theirs.  Their joy made all the effort worth it.


    Working hard with no thanks was one thing, but working hard to see those beautiful slime smiles was another.  I would spend every day out here digging up this soil and watering them just to catch a moment of their bliss.


    One of the slimes hopped onto my chest, staring down at me quizzically.  Thankfully they weighed next to nothing.


    "I''m okay," I said, my breathing almost back to normal.  "I''m just resting for a minute."


    The slime nodded, then rolled off me to go play with the others again.  Their happy little noises as they wiggled in the soil made my heart soar.  This made everything worth it.


    The quest hadn''t been completed yet though, which meant I had more gardening to do.  My body felt heavier at the thought, sinking into the soil.  I tried to lift my arm, but it took so much effort.  How long had I been out here?  It was hard to know without the sun''s movements or a clock, but it felt like hours.  Maybe longer?


    "Hey, system?" I called out.  "Mind adding my last stat point to endurance, please?"


    [If you''re that tired, maybe you should rest]


    "I''ll rest later.  When I''m out of this dungeon."


    [...]


    [Endurance: 3]


    My body glowed a soft white as cool air swept over me, taking my aches and pains with it.  I let out a breath, closing my eyes to enjoy the feeling of recovery.  Man, that endurance stat was like magic.


    "Thank you."


    I sat up, stretching my arms above my head with a happy sigh.  It was time to get back to work.


    The dirt slimes and I got back to it, pulling weeds and removing dead leaves.  I added it all to my inventory, not sure where else to put it yet that would count as clean. I should really make a compost bin for stuff like this.  Along the way, I''d been gathering whatever wood and stones I could find, but there wasn''t much.  I was only at 2 wood and 3 stones for the cafe expansion quest.


    The plants had all been carefully trimmed except for one, the debris cleared up, the soil was tilled, and everything was watered.  I gazed out at the large garden, immensely satisfied with the work we''d done.  The dirt slimes were happy, but I was pretty happy too.  This was our garden and we were going to make the most of it.


    "What do you think, Mossy?" I asked the big dirt slime who hadn''t moved from the middle of the garden while this all went on.  "Mind if I trim those chives?"


    Each little dirt slime had a single plant growing from their mossy heads, but the big guy had about five or six, some of which had overtaken the others.  Those were the only plants I hadn''t touched yet, so I had a feeling that''s why the quest was still incomplete.


    Mossy wiggled deeper into the earth, lowering himself until his eyes were at ground level and I could reach the plants on top of him.  I smiled, walking over slowly so I didn''t scare him off.  So far he''d just been watching, as if waiting to see how I treated the little dirt slimes.  This felt like I''d gained his approval, so I didn''t want to screw it up now.


    I reached up, leaning against his squishy body to trim the chives.  They''d spread everywhere, smothering the carrots and radishes.  Mossy sighed, closing his eyes as I tended to the plants.  I smiled, suddenly feeling like a strange kind of hair stylist for the slimes.


    "There, all done." I stepped back to admire my work just as a message box appeared.


    [Quest Completed: Garden Cleanup]


    [Rewards: Various seeds, bottomless watering can, and a new garden plot]


    Bags of seeds rained down from the sky along with a golden watering can.  I reached out to grab that before it went into my inventory.  What made it bottomless?  I watered Mossy since he hadn''t gotten any the first time around, walking around his big body to make sure I got all of him.  He sighed in contentment again, wiggling just a bit deeper into the ground.


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    Even after I''d watered him and everything around him, the watering can was still full!  These rewards were so perfectly themed for exactly what I wanted most.


    "Thank you, sweet potato."


    [...you''re welcome, Hazel]


    Reading my name felt so good, reminding me that I was real and had had a life before this place.  A life I had to get back to as soon as possible.  I sank onto the ground to sort through the new seeds I''d gotten.  There were seeds and cuttings for strawberries, apple trees, garlic, sweet potatoes of course, vanilla, and lots of tea.  My hands froze as I saw those words.  Vanilla and tea?


    Could I even grow those?  I had little to no gardening experience, so I was kind of counting on the slimes to do most of the work.  But if they could grow vanilla and tea, that would be so helpful.  A cafe needed drinks to serve people and tea would be the easiest, plus vanilla went in most baked goods.


    These were boss-level rewards.


    I blinked tears away as a surge of emotions swept over me.  I''d worked hard and gotten rewarded for it.  That hadn''t happened in, well, I had no idea how long.  But it felt good, down to my very soul it felt good.  Hard work didn''t feel so hard when I not only got to see happy slimes, but also got gifts too.  I''d treasure these seeds and make good use of the plants that grew from them.


    While I''d been browsing through my inventory, Mossy had shifted to support my back.  I patted his side.


    "I''m okay," I said softly, still a bit overwhelmed.


    The system had mentioned a new garden plot, but I wasn''t sure how that part worked.  I went through my menus, finding a new one called "cafe".  There was an upgrade tree similar to my skill trees, but it was mostly locked out.  The section on the garden had a message about a new plot available though. I pressed it.


    [Where would you like the new garden plot?]


    [To the left, the right, or behind the current one?]


    Closer to the cafe would be good since the scent of vanilla and tea could draw in customers.  I wasn''t sure what kind of environment they preferred though.  I felt like vanilla grew on vines, kind of like beans?  So I''d need a trellis or trees or something.  I could plant the apple trees nearby and make some kind of apple tree vanilla combo plant.


    I laughed. I was definitely a baker, not a gardener.  The slimes and I would make it work somehow though.


    "Let''s go with to the right."


    The message box glowed blue before the ground started shaking.  The grass and weeds in the area next to the garden disappeared, sinking into the ground as fresh soil took their place almost like somebody had flipped garden tiles upside down.  That was so strange, but I was grateful I wouldn''t have to do it all by hand.


    "Think any of the slimes would want to help me plant new seeds?" I asked Mossy, who just blinked at me.  Guess I should ask the slimes themselves then.  I wandered over to where Jellybean was bouncing with the tiny dirt slimes, kneeling to play with them.  "Anyone want some tasty seeds?  I''m about to start a new garden."


    Their eyes widened as three of them bounced faster, gaining more height than usual.  I laughed, pulling the seeds and cuttings out for them to look at.  I wasn''t really sure how they grew the plants, so I waited to see what they''d do.


    The slimes leaned down as if sniffing the new rewards, then moved to the next, until they''d investigated all their options.  Then the smallest slime gobbled up the strawberry seeds and a tiny plant sprouted from her head.  Ohhh that was so cool.  I pat the slime carefully as she spun in circles as if trying to see the plant on the top of her head.  I couldn''t help but laugh, picturing a dog chasing their tail.


    The other slimes chose vanilla and the sweet potatoes, but sadly none of them wanted the tea plants or the apple trees, which felt like a good call.  Growing an entire tree out of your head seemed like a terrible idea.  I shouldn''t have even offered that one, but I wasn''t sure what the plants required.  Some preferred shade while others preferred full sun and I had a feeling the type of soil mattered too.  So many things to consider...


    Maybe a skill could help?


    I opened my menu again since I still had two skill points to use.  There were so many options now between my Culinary Mage skills, Slime Guardian skills, and my new Cafe Owner skill tree.  Things like Customer Happiness and Ambiance Alteration sounded great once I actually had customers, but not as useful right now. I browsed through my options, landing on one called Green Thumb.


    "What''s Green Thumb do?"


    [Green Thumb is a passive skill that increases your chances at successfully growing plants]


    "Even if I screw something up?"


    [Especially then.  This skill will make you feel like an expert gardener eventually, even if you plant those potatoes in the river]


    "Well I know enough not to do that," I said with a laugh.  "It sounds like a good skill though, so I''ll take it.  What about the Growth Boost one?"


    [Growth Boost gives any plants you tend to a slight increase in growth speed]


    That would be really useful to get things up and running quickly.  I used my last skill point on that, feeling pretty good.  These skills were honestly so useful.  I couldn''t wait to level up and see what other options were available. I wanted to start baking as much as I could, but I still only had the tiny portable stove to work with.


    I wanted a real kitchen, with a stove and room to organize ingredients.  A place to set dishes out and raise bread or cool pies.  I wanted it all and I was starting to think I might be able to get it with enough hard work.


    The slimes and I made our way to the new garden plot to try out my new green thumb skill.  I planted the apple trees at the edge of the garden in the back, almost like a fence line, followed by the vanilla and potatoes.  Then I planted the tea in the front, hoping it would grow nice and strong.  Beautiful green balls of light swirled around everything I touched, like fireflies in the night, boosting my plants growth and health with magic.  Seeing things like this would never get old.


    Now that all the gardening was done, there was one last thing on my to-do list for now.  Dirt covered my clothing, streaking across my skin like dried mud, and my shirt was starting to smell bad...


    I needed a bath.

 Chapter 12 - Slime Pudding

    Washing my clothes in a river when I only had one set of clothes was not ideal, especially when there could be monsters anywhere.  Or other adventurers.  There was no way to dry them quickly either, so after I was done bathing, I''d raced back to the cafe and hid inside with the slimes.


    Not the most comfortable situation, but at least the cafe shack didn''t have any windows and I''d managed to get some sleep while Boss guarded the door.  Thankfully they were dry now though, so I hurried to put them back on, slipping into my chef''s coat like a warm blanket.


    Ah, that was so much better.


    I really had to visit the safe zone soon and get some amenities.  Like extra clothes and soap.  If I baked enough things ahead of time, maybe I could trade food for goods too and spruce up this shack a bit.


    The boss slime squeezed himself through the small shack door and started bouncing with Jellybean, who looked like he was excitedly telling Boss all about his day.  The little baby chick followed them, wobbling a bit like it was sleepy.


    "Thanks for guarding the door while I slept," I told the big slime as I patted his head.  "You deserve a treat for that.  Let me see what I''ve got."


    I still had a few cookie ingredients leftover from when Fiona and I had made them, but I kind of wanted to try something new.  Plus, I was hoping Fiona would visit soon, so I wanted to save those cookies for her since she''d liked them so much.  I assumed she''d find me after we got separated, but maybe when I was in the safe zone I''d search for her instead.


    My item box was full of fresh ingredients from the garden from vegetables to herbs to some fruit.


    "Are you in the mood for something savory?" I asked the slimes, pausing to see if they''d respond in any way.  They just blinked at me, standing very still.  "Or something sweet?"


    Boss bounced quickly as his eyes widened.


    "Okay, sweets it is!" I laughed as I pulled out my cookbook, letting it float in the air in front of me.  "Why don''t we try one of the new recipes I got earlier.  Do you want chocolate lava cake or slime pudding?"


    That''s where communication broke down a bit.  I still wasn''t very good at understanding the slimes beyond a simple yes or no.  I gazed at the beautiful blue slime bracelet I''d gotten for befriending Boss.  He''d also given me the slime pudding recipe, so that probably meant he liked pudding.


    I flipped to that page in my cookbook, frowning at the ingredients.  It needed milk, sugar, butter, and flavoring of my choice, but that wasn''t the weird part.  The weird part was the slime jelly...


    Was that part of a slime?  Like I''d be eating slimes?  Ugh, that went against my entire slimes are friends, not food vibe.


    There were five slime jellies in my item box that I''d gotten as rewards for "defeating" the boss slime, so I took one out to investigate.  It was a clear gelatinous substance that was kind of damp and a bit slippery to hold onto.  Cooking with it didn''t feel right at all, but maybe it was like gelatin and just thickened things up?


    "Is this...okay to eat?" I asked the slimes, holding it out to them.  They bobbed up and down, nodding, but it still didn''t feel right.  "Are you sure?  I don''t want to hurt you or use you for ingredients. Ever."


    Boss wiggled before producing a beautiful shimmering blob of slime jelly in the air in front of him.  He nudged it forward, as if offering it to me like a gift, his eyes shining with pride.


    I couldn''t just ignore it, not without hurting his feelings, so I reached out and cupped the slime jelly in my hands.  A blue message box appeared the moment I touched it.


    [New Skill Acquired through the Slime Bond: Essence of Friendship]


    [Slimes love to eat, but they just keep growing larger and larger if they do.  Eventually, they either break down into smaller slimes or siphon off their essence by giving harvestable gifts.  The slimes trust you with these now, so expect lots of fun new ingredients]


    My eyes widened at the words.  "So this is a normal thing?"


    [Yes, you''re helping the slimes just as much as they''re helping you]


    "That''s reassuring, thank you," I said softly, still wondering if this was actually okay.  Boss seemed fine though, more than fine actually, he seemed happy.  And a happy slime was what really mattered.  "Let''s get started on the slime pudding then!"


    Both slimes hopped closer, peering into the big empty pot I pulled out of my item box.  They were so adorable.


    "You''ll have to wait a bit, pudding takes time."


    They deflated, but stayed close by as I gathered my ingredients.  Looks like milk was the only thing I didn''t have.


    "Ingredient Efficiency, summon milk!" I called out, feeling like a true mage as beautiful white milk filled the pot.  I grinned as the portable stove turned orange, heating the milk slowly.  "These skills are so cool."


    [See, isn''t it more fun when you shout your skills?]


    I rolled my eyes at that message.  "I think you''re just trying to make yourself feel better for playing that trick on me."


    But yes, it actually did feel more fun now that I was getting into this whole Culinary Mage thing.  It would feel even more impressive with a magic wand.  Oh!  I could use a cool spoon like a wand...


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    No, that was a bit too silly.  At least in front of other people it would be.


    Milk bubbles started forming at the edge of the pot, letting me know it was ready for the next step: adding the sugar and slime jelly.  Should I cut the jelly up or put it in whole?  Jellybean bounced at me, urging me to just throw it in.


    "Well, here goes nothing." I dropped the slime jelly in followed by a quarter of the sugar, mixing it slowly to meld everything together.


    The slime jelly started dissolving into the milk, thickening it just like I''d hoped it would, so I added more sugar until it formed a beautiful pudding consistency.  Once the pudding coated the back of my spoon, I took it off the heat.


    I glanced around, suddenly realizing I still didn''t have anything to set a hot pot on.  I really needed to expand this cafe so I didn''t have to cook on the ground!  I sighed, taking one of the rocks I''d gathered for the cafe expansion quest out of my item box to set the pot on, then mixed in the butter and vanilla to flavor the pudding.


    The slimes leaned closer, mouths wide open.


    "Not so fast," I said, swiping the pot away from them.  "It''s gotta cool still.  That''s when it really thickens up and becomes delicious."


    I''d prefer to refrigerate it for a bit too, but there wasn''t anything like that here.  Unless...


    I carried the pot over to the river running alongside the cafe.  The water had been nice and cool when I was bathing, so it should help thicken the pudding once it was cool enough too.  If I had covered containers, I could set it on the riverbed, but for now I''d have to hold onto the pot.  Or set it on a pile of rocks or something.


    Wait, this river was teeming with rocks and clay, which was exactly what I needed for the cafe upgrade quest!  I''d been so worried about getting seen when I was bathing that I hadn''t even noticed.


    Jellybean leapt into the river, swirling with the current as he squealed with excitement.  All too soon he was floating away though.


    "Be careful!"


    Boss bounced high into the air, crashing into the water with such force that it created a giant wave, pushing Jellybean right out of the river!  The little slime rolled back toward me, a happy smile on his face as water droplets glistened off their blue slime bodies.  Before I could stop him, he went right back in for a second ride.


    I shook my head, setting the pudding far enough up stream that they wouldn''t get any water in it.  Then I rolled up my pants and stepped into the cool water, collecting rocks and scooping up clay while they played.  All in all, it was a perfect way to spend an afternoon.


    [Cafe Upgrade Quest Status:  5/50 wood, 10/10 clay, and 10/10 stone]


    That was good progress!  I washed the clay off my hands and stretched, enjoying the feel of my muscles being put to good use.  Now if only there were trees around this cafe, I''d be set.  Well, if I had an axe or any other kind of weapon besides a sandwich and a frying pan, but hey, progress was progress.


    A soft clucking drew my attention to the pudding pot, which was being pecked at by the baby chick!


    "Not you too!" I hurried out of the river, rescuing the pudding once again.  "Should chickens even be eating pudding?"


    Probably not, but it was a fire-breathing monster chicken, so maybe normal rules didn''t apply here.  The pudding jiggled nicely, a perfect consistency.


    [Slime Pudding Level 3 Acquired]


    [+15 XP]


    "Okay, it actually looks like it''s ready."  My mouth watered, anticipating the delicious pudding already.  "Boss!  Jellybean!"


    The slimes bounced out of the river, shaking water all over me like a dog drying off as they hopped.  I sighed, but set down the pot in the middle of our little monster family.  There was one thing I hadn''t considered though.


    "We don''t have any dishes or flatware..."


    More things to add to my shopping list.  How could I run a cafe without basics like bowls or plates or spoons?  For now, we''d have to eat off mixing spoons and spatulas.  It would be fine.  Boss was big, so normal sized spoons wouldn''t work for him anyway.  It would be fine, totally normal.


    I scooped out a big spoonful of the glistening pudding, holding it out for Boss to try first.  He was the one who''d given me the recipe after all, so it was only fair he tried it first.


    The big slime slurped it up, eyes closed like he was savoring it.  A contented sigh escaped him and I grinned.  Boss liked the pudding!


    Jellybean nudged me, staring at me with big puppy-dog eyes until I scooped him out some pudding too.  He gobbled it up, trilling with joy as he swayed back and forth.  I set a spatula of pudding out for the chicken too, still a bit unsure about that plan, but it seemed happy enough to peck away at it.


    Then all that was left was for me to try it.  The pudding was silky and smooth, more luxurious than anything I''d had before.  The hint of vanilla danced on my tongue as the slime jelly brought it all together.  This was the perfect pudding, absolutely amazing.


    But it was gone all too soon, which meant I had to make more.  A lot more.


    For the next few hours, I cooked pudding after pudding, until all of us were so full we couldn''t eat anymore.  I even made some grilled cheese and veggie stir-fry to add to my item box for my next adventure.  I was determined to upgrade this cafe as soon as possible, which meant I''d need to explore this dungeon floor more and find wood.


    With my last grilled cheese, confetti burst around us as happy music filled the air.


    [Level Up: Culinary Mage Level 4]


    [New Skills Available]


    Yes!  That was exactly what I''d been hoping for.  I added another stat point to my endurance and mana, then looked at the wonderful skill options.  I needed something that would help me gather wood or maybe open a map of the dungeon so I didn''t get lost.


    "Hey, sweet potato?" I asked, still grinning at the nickname.  "What''s the Ingredient Tracker skill do?  Would wood count as an ingredient?"


    [Ingredient Tracker will mark your chosen ingredient on a map, helping you find the general area you''d find the most of it.  Some bark is used for cooking, like cinnamon, so yes, you could track wood with this skill]


    "A map and a tracker all in one?  Sign me up!"


    [New Skill: Ingredient Tracker]


    I quickly cleaned up the dishes from our massive amount of cooking then stood up and looked out at the dungeon floor.  The jungle felt intimidating, like something separate from this safe little pocket of land I''d been staying on.  If I wanted to improve it, I had to leave though.


    I took a deep breath, straightening my back and steeling my determination.  "Ingredient tracker, find wood!"


    A small map appeared in my hands, just like how the cookbook would float out of my menu.  It showed a large circular area, which I assumed was the dungeon floor, but it was all grayed out.  The only part that had detail was the cafe area.  Maybe I needed to explore areas to unlock the map?  There was a small circle off to one side and I could sense that that was where the ingredient tracker wanted me to go.


    I glanced at Boss and Jellybean, then back at the map.  The journey looked long and I didn''t want to drag them with, but I also really didn''t want to go alone.


    "You can stay here and guard the cafe if you want," I said, "or you can come with me.  I''m good either way."


    Boss pushed against my back as Jellybean took off ahead of us.  I guess that meant they were ready to go!


    "Okay, it''s time for another adventure!" I turned back to the little chicken pecking at something in the ground.  "Guard the cafe for us, we''ll be back soon."

 Chapter 13 - Got Wood?

    When three circular shapes were close enough together, it always reminded me of a face.  Like when I''d be baking late at night and my bread dough suddenly seemed like it wanted to talk to me.  That''s what these trees reminded me of right now.


    I''d let Boss lead the way here and he''d managed to avoid monsters for the most part, making our trip to this tree-filled jungle area pretty uneventful.  But now that we were here, I just couldn''t shake this feeling of unease.  The trees were downright unsettling with their gnarled branches stretched out like hands and the way I swore they changed positions whenever I had my back to them.


    But this was the area circled on the map, so this was where I had to get the wood for my cafe from.  The dense canopy overhead blocked out a lot of the light from the embers, casting shadows that played with my mind.  Leaves rustled without a breeze and it was too quiet, as if there were no animals that lived in this jungle.


    Jellybean bounced softly on my shoulder, apparently unaffected by the strange vibes surrounding us, which was actually pretty reassuring.  I let out a breath, determined to gather this wood and get back as quickly as possible.


    I searched the underbrush for fallen branches, but most of the wood I found was rotten, not something I wanted to expand the cafe with.  With all the monsters crashing around the dungeon, there had to be some freshly broken branches or fallen trees somewhere though. Even the crispy cluckers had tried to peck one down.


    The deeper I went into the jungle, the better wood I found though.  Excitement filled me as I picked up branch after branch, fulfilling half my quest in record time!  Boss delved into the jungle with me, but his bounces were getting slower as we went.  He kept staring at the trees, sometimes bouncing at them with enough force to make a thunking sound.


    "Calm down," I told the big slime.  "We''ll be out of here soon."


    Was he claustrophobic?  His bouncing got more intense the closer the trees got, so maybe he should head back while Jellybean and I finished up here. Not that Jellybean was helping much either as he munched on a grilled cheese I''d given him, crooning happily.


    We stepped into a clearing that looked like the heart of the jungle according to my map.  In the center was an ancient tree, twisted and gnarled with a lot of its bark missing.  Large branches littered the ground, perfect for the cafe.  I rushed forward, but Jellybean bounced hard, hitting me in the cheek before I could collect any of it.


    "Hey!  What was that for?"


    I rubbed my cheek as the groan of bark rubbing against bark filled the air.  My eyes widened as the trees shifted, moving with a life of their own.  All those circles that had looked like eyes before turned toward me, staring at the intruder in their jungle.


    [Living Trees: Level 9]


    I swallowed hard, backing up until I ran into Boss.  His doughy body stood firm next to me, as if willing to fight whatever came at us.


    The trees were alive.  Holy hell, the trees were alive.


    "Hello, my name''s Hazel." I cleared my throat, trying to stop my voice from shaking.  "I''m a baker with a cafe on this floor.  Any chance you like tasty treats?"


    I took the leftover veggie stir-fry out of my item box and offered it to the trees, laying it on their roots as my pulse raced in my ears.  The food sank into the ground with an earthy crunch.


    "Mooooooorrrrrrreeeee."


    The tree''s voice was so slow I could barely understand the word, almost sounding like a moan instead of language.  But if it wanted more, then I''d make more.  Except, I was out of my stir-fry leftovers and didn''t have the right ingredients to make more.


    I forced a smile on my face.  "Okay, more is coming right up.  Just give me a few minutes to make it."


    What was I supposed to do now?  I somehow doubted trees would like pudding as much as the slimes.  What did trees even eat?  Fertilizer?  I frowned, swiping through my item box.  I did have all the debris from the garden cleanup in here, plus some food scraps and other odds and ends that I hadn''t known what to do with.  I bet I could actually make a decent fertilizer...


    Okay, I''d make that work somehow.  I took out some plant clippings, grass, food scraps, and eggshells, grinding them all up in a pot.  I''d never actually made fertilizer before though.  What was supposed to come next?  Did I cook it?  Compost would have to sit out for weeks to decompose, but I definitely didn''t have that kind of time.


    Trees drank water from the ground, so maybe a fertilizing tea would be good here.  I poured water in the pot, heating all the ingredients up together until it made a grassy, kind of ugly, brown soup.  Mixing this up in the middle of all these trees made me feel like a witch in the woods.  I resisted the urge to cackle though because now was not the time to break down and start laughing.  The tree monsters were watching me.


    The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.


    The fertilizer smelled earthy and dank, not the most appealing thing I''d ever made, but I took it off the heat once it started bubbling.  I turned back to the older tree in the middle of this clearing, sensing that it was important to the others since it had all this room around it.  Once the mixture cooled, I carefully poured it around the tree''s roots.


    The soil around the tree glowed with a warm light as the tree slowly absorbed the fertilizer.  The glow moved through the tree as new growth sprouted from every branch, straightening the broken pieces and regrowing the missing bark.  The tree shook its branches, opening its eyes for the first time since I''d gotten here.


    Then it stood up straight, towering over all the other trees by far.  Its strong rootbound legs broke free of the earth, standing tall and proud amongst the other trees.


    My mouth dropped open.  "How did simple fertilizer do all that?"


    Jellybean swayed side to side like he had no idea either as a message box appeared.


    [Your new passive gardening skills work on plant based monsters as well.  That tree is enjoying the benefits of Growth Boost and Green Thumb]


    "Oh that is so cool," I said, already hurrying to make another pot.  "If those skills worked on it, maybe I could try Buff Baking and Flavor Boost too!"


    Now I really did cackle as I mixed things up, adding ingredient after ingredient to really make these trees be the best trees they could be.  When it was cool, I ladled the fertilizer on as many trees as I could, grinning as the golden light whooshed through their trunks and into all their branches.


    Wood creaked and groaned as the trees grew taller, their branches thicker, and their leaves shinier.  It was like I was giving them new life, filling this jungle with the best trees it could possibly have.  The trees crowded closer, handing me more grass clippings and fruit, nuts, anything they could get their twiggy hands on for me to cook with.


    I made batch after batch, relishing in the feeling of being useful.  They were just so happy, bounding around with renewed vigor.  Jellybean and Boss were playing catch with a group of saplings, tossing an apple back and forth.  It was all so silly and awesome.  If this fertilizer could work this kind of magic on jungle monsters, imagine what it could do for my garden.


    [Alert to all adventurers in the area: Living Tree rampage commencing.  The trees are overtaking floor six and are now boss-level monsters.  Good luck]


    "Wait, what?"  I dropped the ladle in my hands, glancing at the massive trees surrounding me.


    They had to be at least two times larger than they were before, maybe three.  Some of them were even level 15 now.  I covered my mouth as a laugh bubbled up.  My cooking had caused a monster rampage!


    "Maybe it''s time to go," I whispered to Jellybean and Boss.  "Before the other adventurers get here and blame us." I turned to the trees, biting my lip.  What about them though?  "Um, maybe you should hide for a while until things calm down."


    The trees shook their branches, leaves rustling as if they were laughing.  I had a feeling they were too hopped up on my fertilizer, thinking they were indestructible.  Maybe they were.  Maybe my true skill was making crazy awesome monster food.  I had a feeling this was going to go horribly, horribly wrong.


    But, the trees seemed confident, so I''d have to trust them to take care of themselves.  I had to take care of my own monsters because the slimes needed me.


    I pressed my palm against the old tree I''d helped first, feeling the magic seeping through it like sap.  "Stay safe and don''t hurt anyone."


    The old tree held out gnarled hands filled with fallen branches.  The other trees followed suit, holding out enough wood to expand my cafe three times over.


    "Are those for me?"  Warmth blossomed in my chest as their kindness washed over me.  "Thank you."


    After I added all the wood to my item box, filling it up completely, I waved to the trees and started making our way out of the jungle.  The sounds of adventurers yelling and metal clashing filled the area.  I glanced to the side just in time to see a man flying through the air, tossed by one of the trees.  Another followed, screaming as he soared in a perfect arc, landing in a swamp nearby with a great splash.


    These trees weren''t messing around.  They were definitely too strong for this dungeon floor now.  I crept out of the jungle, trying to avoid anyone spotting us and asking questions about the slimes.


    "Of course this mess has to do with you," a woman''s voice called out.  I turned to find Fiona shaking her head at me.  "Any time something weird and dungeon breaky happens from now on, I''m just going to assume it''s you."


    I laughed, rubbing the back of my head.  "Uhhhh, hey Fiona, what''s up?"


    "What''s up?"  She laughed, staring at the trees playing catch with adventurers.  "What''s up is you''re going to tell me everything over some delicious cookies.  It took me way too long to find you and I''m not going to miss tasty food to deal with this."


    "Sounds good to me," I said, glancing back at the trees one more time.  "Thank you for your help."


    Their twiggy hands waved at me as they continued their assault on the adventurers.  I had a feeling they''d be all right and the adventurers would just end up back on the first floor if anything went too far.  They''d be fine...right?


    I rubbed my hand over my face.  "What the hell did I do?"


    "I have no idea, but it''s damn entertaining," Fiona said, clapping me on the back.  "I''m glad you''re doing okay. I was worried about you all on your own.  Dave told me you were fine, but I didn''t believe him. He mentioned something about a cafe?"


    "Yeah, it''s just a shack right now, but it''s going to be amazing once I fix it up."  I smiled as she greeted the slimes, holding her hand out for them to bounce against.  "Why don''t you stay with me for a while?  I''ll fix up the cafe and bake awesome food while you can go out adventuring and level up."


    Her eyes widened.  "Really?  You''d do that for me?"


    "Of course, we''re friends aren''t we?"


    At least, the closest thing I had to a friend who was human-shaped.  A grin stretched across her face as she nodded.


    "I''d love to see this cafe," she said, motioning for me to lead the way.  "I''ll help with repairs too if you need it."


    "Deal."


    Together our little party of slimes and people made our way back to my cafe, the sounds of screaming adventurers and creaking trees drifting away in the distance.  That was a problem for future me, right now, I just wanted to get back to my cafe and bake some cookies.

 Chapter 14 - Hot Tea and Upgrades

    Walking through the stone corridor between magical dungeon doors reminded me of when Dave had first brought me to the cafe, except this time, Fiona was actually with me. She''d get to see the garden full of dirt slimes, the new tea garden, and even the sorry excuse for a shack-cafe. That part was about to change though. I''d gotten all the stone, clay, and wood the quest required and I couldn''t wait to see how the upgrade worked.


    I paused by the door leading out. "You ready for this?"


    "Hell yeah, show me this cafe of yours." Fiona grinned, nodding for me to go forward.


    The door opened when I stepped closer, revealing a dark room ahead. Dave had said the key would bring me back to the cafe, right? I assumed that meant in the front yard like when he brought me here, but based on that cramped looking room, I had a feeling it opened the cafe''s front door...


    How were we all supposed to fit inside? I couldn''t just leave the slimes or Fiona in the corridor, but I''d barely fit with the slimes, let alone with another person carrying a giant hammer. This was so not good.


    "Ummm..." I clasped the back of my neck, wincing. "It''s the first time I''ve used the key, and well..."


    Fiona raised an eyebrow. "Well?"


    "We''re about to get up close and personal, sorry." I stepped into the shack cafe''s dark embrace. The new upgrade better come with windows. "I hope you''re not claustrophobic!"


    Jellybean bounced on my shoulder as Fiona made her way inside, shifting to stand in the corner next to me. Then came Boss, squeezing into the shack and filling every available space with his doughy slime body. Jellybean chirped, moving from my shoulder to the top of my head. If Boss filled up any more of the space, we wouldn''t be able to breathe!


    The click of the dungeon door shutting behind us echoed in the room, loud and final. There was no going back.


    "Haaazellll..." Fiona dragged my name out in one of those you''re-in-trouble tones. "This is way more than up close and personal. Get us out of here."


    "We''re fine," I mumbled, sucking in my stomach as Boss pressed up against me. This shack really was too small for four. "Just gotta find the door."


    I scooted around the edges of the wall until my hand brushed over the door handle. I turned it, throwing the door open for Boss to slide out of. Fiona and I took deep breaths, leaning over as we finally had room to move.


    "See? All good." I stepped outside just in time for the little fire-breathing chicken to attack me. It pecked at my ankles, making me hop in place. "Hey! What''s wrong?"


    The chicken puffed out its feathers, glaring at me. I glanced around the cafe, but nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. Maybe it didn''t like being left home by itself?


    I leaned down to run my hands over its fluffy feathers. "You did a great job, thanks for protecting the cafe for me."


    The chicken tried to keep glaring at me, but its eyes closed tight as it purred, leaning into my hand. I scratched its side, assuming that must be the good spot, as Fiona burst out laughing.


    "Is that one of the chickens who treed you?" Her smile was wide and bright as she shook her head, turning to take in the cafe. "And what''s with that sign? Cafe Name Here? You didn''t even name the cafe yet?"


    Huh, I''d kind of forgotten about that sign. I''d been so busy working on quests that it completely slipped my mind. The cafe was supposed to be a place for me to level up fast and get out of the dungeon, so naming it hadn''t seemed all that important. But it did feel a bit odd now that I was staring at the to be determined sign.


    "I''m terrible at naming things." I shrugged. "If you can think of something good, I''ll use it."


    "Ohh, what about Dungeon Delights?" Fiona''s eyes lit up as she tapped her cheek. "Or Slime and Dine? Maybe Hazel''s Hideaway?" She held up a finger. "I''ve got it: Monsters and Mochas! You know, since you''re apparently gathering a monster horde."


    She nodded at the chicken and the slimes and I couldn''t help but laugh.


    "Honestly, between them and the trees I just befriended, I probably could make a monster horde if I wanted to." I held up my hands. "Not that I''d want to, of course, but it''s nice to have options."


    Fiona chuckled. "You keep getting stranger and it''s awesome. Back to the names though, Hazel''s Hideaway is pretty good, right?"


    "I don''t know, I don''t really want to name something after myself since I''ll have to leave eventually. Since this is just a way to level up, maybe the Level Up Cafe? Or the Get-Me-Outta-Here Cafe?"


    "Seriously?" Fiona shook her head with a sigh. "You got something amazing and you''re already thinking about leaving it behind? I''ve seen you bake, tasted how delicious it was, so there''s no way I believe it''s just a means to an end. You lit up when you were making those cookies. Maybe this is where you belong."


    Where I belonged? Wasn''t that back home, in my real life? I might not remember it, but it was mine more than this cafe was. I deserved to know where I came from and how I got here. I wanted to remember.


    "Let''s just get this place upgraded first," I said, opening my item box to remove all the stone, clay, and wood the quest required.


    [Cafe Upgrade Quest Completed]


    [Would you like to upgrade now?]


    "Yes," I said softly, surprisingly anxious about this moment. "Upgrade the cafe."


    [As you wish]


    Fiona and I stepped back as the shack fell apart, the wooden pieces floating and spinning in the air like a puzzle that was deconstructing itself. Then the new materials joined in, spinning and reshaping themselves into solid planks of wood that would be great for flooring or walls. The stones and planks started setting themselves back up, forming a building that was four times larger than the shack with beautiful windows that would bring in so much light.


    As the door settled back into place, a smile stretched across my face. This was my cafe. I''d made it grow through hard work and determination in just a few days. With the help of the slimes and the system, of course, but I''d still had a lot to do with it. If I could do this, what else could I do here? Could it grow into a full fledged cafe with enough room for dozens of guests with a giant kitchen for me?


    I could bake every day, meet new adventurers as they passed by, and befriend all the adorable monsters as we shared this cozy little cafe. It could be like a safe haven from the rest of the dungeon where monsters and adventurers could commingle and just enjoy delicious food. Hmmm....what kind of name would be good for that? Something with sanctuary or haven maybe?


    "So, are we going in?" Fiona asked, grinning. "You look like you want to. Even if it''s just a level-up cafe."


    I opened my mouth to answer, but snapped it closed. What was I doing dreaming of all that nonsense? This was just a stepping stone, a way to level up. I had to remember that otherwise I''d be stuck here forever, forgetting about my goals entirely. Sure, I might be happy baking away with the slimes, but this wasn''t my life. If I was going to stay here, I at least wanted to remember what I was giving up.


    I deserved that much, so I''d have to keep working hard to level up.


    "Sure, let''s go inside." I stepped forward, putting the warm black key into the door. The lock clicked open, revealing the new cafe inside.


    Soft light glowed warmly against the new wood flooring with a single table and two chairs in the first room. Wooden beams criss-crossed the ceiling, with small hooks that I could hang herbs from so they could dry. There was a back room too, which I hoped was a kitchen, but a blue message box appeared before I could explore more.


    [Welcome to your new cafe, Hazel. When you''re ready to name it, let me know]


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    "Thank you, sweet potato," I said, grinning at the shocked look on Fiona''s face. "I''m going to save that for later though."


    [No problem. Maybe you''ll like this quest better then]


    [New Quest: Serve 5 Cups of Tea]


    "Serve tea? But there''s no way my tea grew enough to use yet..."


    Fiona tilted her head. "If it''s tea you want, I''ve got plenty in my inventory. I don''t mind sharing, especially if you make it taste good."


    "Sounds good to me," I said, exploring the cafe a bit more first.


    The room in the back was in fact a kitchen, but it was a lot smaller than I''d hoped for with just a sink and some shelves, but no counters. I forced my disappointment down as I turned to stare at the most important part of this cafe: the stove!


    It was an old-style stove made of clay, with two openings to build a fire underneath each pot. I''d never worked with something like that before, but it still brought a smile to my face. I had an actual stove again. Excitement filled me as I ran my fingers over the solid clay stove, remembering how soft the clay had been when I collected it from the stream yesterday.


    Seeing my efforts put to use like this was awesome. I wasn''t just working mindlessly with no end in sight. I was making progress, using my skills to build nicer things. Things I wanted, like this stove.


    Fiona handed me a container of tea leaves. "Whenever you''re ready. I''ll leave you to it."


    Then she walked back outside, giving me time to appreciate all the new upgrades. I knelt down to examine the stove closer, finding a charcoal bin in the corner and a few pans that fit into the openings on top perfectly. I could cook multiple things at once now and there was even a covered pan that looked like I could bake bread in!


    After exploring every inch of the cafe, the only thing left to do was try that stove out.


    I filled a pot with water, my hands shaking slightly with excitement. Not only did I have a sink, but I had a sink with running water! I hadn''t expected that, but was extremely grateful. I hauled the pot of water over to the stove, placing it carefully inside one of the openings on top, and added charcoal underneath for the fire.


    And then I stared at it.


    I hadn''t seen a lighter and I had no idea how to start a fire without one. I rummaged around the shelves, thankfully spotting a box of matches that I somehow hadn''t noticed before. I struck the match against the stove. The fire glowed softly as I bent down to light the charcoal.


    Warmth emanated from the stove as the water slowly started to heat up. I sadly didn''t have any mugs though.


    "Hey Fiona?" I called out. "Do you have any mugs?"


    A few moments later, she poked her head inside with two mugs. "We should probably go shopping for you sometime."


    "Agreed. My list is growing longer and longer every day," I said with a laugh as I mentally added teapot and strainer to the list. "The water''s almost boiling, so it won''t be much longer."


    The slimes watched with eager eyes as I spooned tea leaves into our mugs. Guilt gnawed at me, knowing they''d want to try the tea too.


    "Mind if they have some too?" I asked. "I can pay you back with tea from my garden once it grows."


    Fiona shook her head. "It''s fine. Call it my gift to you for upgrading your cafe so quickly."


    I smiled, still determined to pay her back somehow for all these ingredients she kept giving me. Once my garden took off, I could bake so many more things for her and then we¡¯d be even. For now, a good cup of tea sounded really nice after a long day.


    Once the water was boiling, I carefully ladled it into our mugs and some pots for the slimes. Boss was too big for a mug anyway, so it worked out fine. Steam curled around me, teasing my nose with the fresh scent of the tea as I carefully set a pot in front of each slime. I felt bad that it had leaves in it, but there wasn''t really any other choice at the moment.


    [Green Tea Level 4 Acquired]


    [+5 XP]


    I took a sip, nearly choking as Jellybean jumped into the pot of tea!


    "Hey, that''s hot!" I handed my mug to Fiona so I could check on Jellybean. He barely fit inside the pot, but he was spinning and trilling with excitement as he gulped the liquid down. I shook my head at him. "You are too cute for your own good, you know. I hope you like it."


    All too soon, the pot was empty and Jellybean was staring at me with big puppy-dog eyes again. He was getting too good at that look.


    "I think the slime wants more," Fiona said with a laugh, sipping on her own tea as she watched the show play out.


    Jellybean jumped out of the pot, landing in my lap without a single drop of tea flying anywhere. He had drained that pot dry, which had to mean he really liked it. I''d have to start keeping track of which food and drinks the slimes liked best and which they were kind of meh about.


    I put the pot back on the stove and refilled it with water as Boss nudged his own pot of tea closer to Jellybean.


    The little slime''s eyes widened as he hopped inside, basking in the warmth of the tea like he was at a hot spring. His blue body started turning green from drinking so much tea, making him a beautiful turquoise.


    I patted the boss slime. "That was nice of you."


    He nodded, rubbing against my hand like he wanted more pets. I laughed and hugged the slime close. Meeting these two slimes really was the best thing that had happened to me in this dungeon. Taking care of them was just so satisfying, warming my heart even more than the tea warmed my body.


    Once the water was boiling again, I split it between the two pots, making sure Boss would actually get some this time.


    "Do you need a refill?" I asked Fiona, but she just shook her head, watching as Jellybean jumped into the pot of hot tea again.


    I sighed, glad he wasn''t hurt, but I wished he''d wait for it to cool down a bit. He sank into the hot liquid with a little sigh of contentment. He didn''t even drink the tea this time, just seemed to enjoy sitting in it. His body turned even greener until he matched the tea so perfectly it would have been hard to tell where one started and the other began if not for the slime''s jelly-like body.


    [Quest Completed: Serve 5 Cups of Tea]


    [Your cooking brings so much joy. You''re on your way to becoming a wonderful cafe owner]


    I smiled against my mug, far too happy at the system''s compliment. The tea hadn''t been anything special, but somehow, it felt monumental.


    [Rewards: Teapot, Tea Cups, and a Tea Strainer]


    My eyes widened as a beautiful green teapot, four tea cups, and a strainer appeared before me. I brushed my fingers over the cast iron, grateful the system had given me exactly what I needed right now. Green tea leaves decorated the teapot, swirling around it like leaves on the wind. I couldn''t wait to use it.


    "Ohh, that''s a nice reward," Fiona said. "At this point, I think the system''s playing favorites here."


    Honestly, so did I, but that just made me feel even warmer inside. Somebody was looking after me.


    Jellybean hopped out of the pot to examine the new items, but something was different about the little slime. Even after he left the tea, his body was still green and full of tea leaves. Something was sprouting from the top of his head too, almost like the dirt slimes after I''d given them new seeds. My mouth dropped open as a tiny sprig of tea grew out of Jellybean''s head.


    "What''s going on? Is he okay?" I asked, rushing to check on him.


    Fiona was about to answer when a message box appeared right in front of her. She hmphed and let the system talk.


    [Blue Slime has evolved into a Tea Slime]


    "Slimes can evolve??"


    [Slimes evolve based on what they eat. If they end up loving a food and eating enough of it, an evolution is triggered]


    Fiona''s eyebrows raised. "I didn''t know the part about having to love the food. I just thought they evolved if they ate a lot of the same thing. Interesting."


    Did that mean the dirt slimes...loved dirt? Huh, I''d have to dig into that more later.


    "I''ll make you all the tea you want," I told Jellybean, hugging him close as Boss started bouncing. "You too, Boss. I''ll make you all kinds of treats in case you want to evolve like Jellybean." I frowned, holding the little slime out to study his new tea shape. "Hmm...do you still like the name Jellybean? Or do you want something more...tea themed now that you''ve evolved?"


    Jellybean''s eyes got all starry when I mentioned a new name.


    "Ohh, what about Steepie?" Fiona asked, eyes lighting up again. "Or Brewster?"


    The little slime swayed back and forth like he was undecided.


    "Okay," I said, patting the side of his body instead of his head to avoid the tea leaves. "Maybe something tea inspired then? Like Boba? Or Chai? Maybe Matcha?" He started bouncing so fast in my arms at that last name that I almost dropped him. I laughed. "Okay, Matcha it is! Congratulations on evolving into a tea slime, little Matcha."


    Fiona gave me back my tea mug, clinking her mug against mine. "And congratulations on your Get-Me-Outta-Here Cafe."


    "Okay, maybe it deserves a better name than that," I said with a laugh, setting Matcha down to play with Boss.


    My tea was going a bit cold at this point, but I finished the last few sips, enjoying the earthy taste. Drinking tea with friends was such a cozy experience, warm and homey.


    A name for the cafe tugged at my mind, inspired by Matcha''s new love of tea. I hovered over the menu as the weight of this decision loomed over me. If I picked a bad name, people might easily forget it, but if I picked something good, they''d be more likely to talk about my cafe.


    No matter what I chose, I wanted slimes to be part of it so everyone knew how important they were to me. I not only wanted to protect these slimes, but make a safe space for them to feel comfortable without worrying what the adventurers might do to them.


    This was a place for me and the slimes to feel at home. To feel safe and secure. The name should be something warm like tea...


    A smile tugged at my lips as I entered the name. The menu asked for a confirmation and I pressed "yes", then hurried outside to see if the sign had updated.


    The name "Slime Serenitea" swept across the sign with shimmering green letters that looked like they were mimicking the slime''s texture. The sign even had a little version of Matcha on it, relaxing in a big cup of tea.


    I pressed my hand to my chest, overcome with emotions at the sight of it. This was everything I''d wanted for so long and more.


    This was the Slime Serenitea Cafe.

 Chapter 15 - The Dreaded XP Curve

    A few days had passed since Fiona joined me at the cafe, but I''d only managed to gain a single level in all that time.  I''d been baking up a storm, testing out different buffs and skills by giving her food to adventure with, but it felt like once I hit level 5, everything slowed down.  At least my skills had improved, especially buff baking.  The buffs were lasting longer, which was great for Fiona.


    I''d even picked up a new skill: Lasting Bite.  It kept food fresh twice as long, so she didn''t have to worry about it going bad in a few hours.  Using my skills to help her made me feel a lot better about her fighting monsters alone.


    "Going out again soon?" I asked Fiona as we finished our breakfast of fruit salad and eggs.  We''d carried the table from the cafe into the backyard so we could watch the dirt slimes play as we ate.  "You could stay and make bread with me if you wanted."


    "Or you could join me and fight monsters," she said, laughing as a dirt slime wiggled into the soil.  "You said you''re not leveling as fast anymore, right?  Maybe getting out would help."


    I sighed.  "I don''t get XP from fighting though, so it wouldn''t do much.  Did this happen to you too?"


    "Yeah, the XP bars get bigger and bigger after level 5."  She picked up the watering can to give the dirt slimes a drink.  They bounced under the rain, big smiles on their faces.  "I think it''s so you can get some good skills early on, but don''t just breeze right through the dungeon without a challenge."


    That made sense, but it was such a drag.  My whole plan of burning through the levels by spending a few weeks baking had gone out the window.  If every level took more XP than the last, I''d have to spend all day every day doing nothing but baking if I had any hope of getting out of here soon.  That didn''t sound fun though.


    I shared some of my fruit with the dirt slimes as Fiona nibbled on a strawberry.


    "Even though you don''t get XP from fighting," she said, "you could get new ingredients and recipes.  Plus, a change of scenery couldn''t hurt.  Every dungeon floor is different, just imagine the ingredients you could get from them."


    "That''s true," I said, glancing at the dirt slimes leaping and playing in the garden, then at the cafe behind us, sturdy and safe, "but I think I''ll just keep baking for now.  Level up my skills enough so that I''m not a burden if I explore.  I got lucky with those living trees, I might not get so lucky again."


    Fiona shook her head, grinning.  "I still can''t get the image of those trees playing catch with adventurers out of my head.  You caused a monster surge!  That''s incredible.  I think you''re already a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for."


    Not strong enough to get out of here though...


    "Okay, I''m heading out," Fiona said, taking her plate inside to wash.


    "Hold on, I''ve got some food for you."  I hurried after her, giving the dirt slimes a quick pat, before pulling the sandwiches out of my inventory.  "One''s got a healing buff and the other has a strength buff."  I held out a few cookies too.  "And these have agility buffs."


    She whistled.  "Three buffed foods?  You''re getting better at this.  Thanks."


    "Anytime.  I''m making something new for dinner too, so don''t die out there and reset to the first floor."


    She sighed.  "That only happened one time, sheesh.  I''ll be back soon, don''t worry."


    Soon was such a vague term in the dungeon.  Even saying I''d have dinner ready when she got back was hard since there was no way for us to tell time.  There wasn''t a sun to track through the sky or clocks to set timers on.  I''d literally had to choose a Perfect Timing skill just so I didn''t keep burning my bread!  With that new skill, I instinctively knew when things were done, even if they were covered by a lid.


    I waved goodbye as Fiona took off to level up in her own way.  It would be nice if we could level together, but our XP styles were just too different.  If I had agreed to go with her, she''d have gotten ingredients just like me and wouldn''t have leveled at all.  That didn''t seem fair when she was working so hard.


    My current cafe quest was a bit tricky too.  Serve 20 unique customers, but between Fiona, the chicken, and all the slimes, I''d only managed to serve 15.  It was like the dungeon wanted me to go find new people, but that was the last thing on my mind.


    Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.


    If I could keep baking and feeding the slimes, why should I go through all the extra work of opening this cafe for other people?  So far, the only adventurer I''d met who I wanted to spend more time with was Fiona.  The others seemed pretty anti-slime.  What would they do when they walked inside and were greeted by an energetic Matcha and Boss?  Or if somebody tried to steal a carrot and Mossy rose up out of the garden to attack?


    Until I could figure out a way to protect the slimes, there was no way I''d be opening the cafe to any strangers.


    "Hey, Sweet Potato?" I called out.  "You don''t have a skill that would kick people out of my cafe by any chance, do you?"


    [Not currently, no, but maybe if you keep working hard, you''ll unlock one]


    "Okay, guess I''ll just have to power through these levels on my own then," I said, smiling as Matcha peeked into the kitchen.  "Honestly, even if it takes longer, I can get to level 100 without ever leaving the cafe.  I''ve just got to keep baking."


    [Wait, you never plan to leave the cafe?]


    "Honestly?" I put a pot of water on the stove to boil for Matcha''s tea, studying the water as I thought about it.  "Probably not until I''m high enough level to defeat every monster with my cooking.  Why struggle and risk going back to the first floor when I could just feed the dungeon boss a level 100 cookie and call it a day?"


    [Huh, you''re right.  That sounds like a completely logical plan that doesn''t break the concept of this dungeon at all...]


    I raised an eyebrow at that message.  "You''re the one who gave me the class.  Wasn''t this how you thought I''d use it?"


    [No, I don''t think anyone thinks quite like you do.  This is definitely a loophole, but it''s fine.  Don''t worry]


    Every time somebody said "don''t worry", I instantly got worried.  Would this loophole be a problem for the system?  It had done nothing but help me, so I''d hate to screw things up for it in return.


    "Are you sure?  I don''t want to cause problems."


    [You are the most interesting person in this dungeon.  Never think of yourself as a problem]


    [But...]


    [New Quest: Collect honey from Sugarstinger hives on floor 7]


    "Well isn''t that a timely quest," I said, trying not to laugh.  "I thought it was fine if I stayed here?"


    [Oh, it''s completely fine, but that quest has great rewards.  Honey from a sugarstinger hive is the sweetest treat in the dungeon]


    "Are you trying to tempt me, Dungeon Darling?" My voice was low and teasing.


    [Only a little]


    The message box had that pretty pink hue to it again, like the system was blushing.  I gave it some time to gather its thoughts while I snuffed out the stove''s fire and added tea leaves to the pot.  Matcha liked the leaves, so I wouldn''t have to strain them this time.  I set the pot down for the little green slime as another message box appeared.


    [There''s been...talk lately.  About me playing favorites]


    "If it was from Fiona, she was just kidding," I said, "but why would it matter?  Aren''t you like the god of this dungeon?"


    [Hardly.  I''m more like the dungeon''s current master and even I have rules to follow.  Balance must be maintained]


    My eyes widened.  That was way more information than the system had ever given me, implying that there had been other dungeon masters and maybe even other things running the show.  Ever since I''d gotten here, I''d gone against the grain, doing everything the opposite way, and the system had supported me.


    But, was I actually breaking the rules so much that Sweet Potato might get in trouble?


    It sounded like all it wanted me to do was explore a bit more and open the cafe for real.  I could handle that if it meant things would be a bit more balanced and the system didn''t have to worry about me.  Besides, I thought I''d seen a skill somewhere about getting bonus XP from serving food to others.  What was it called again?


    I opened my menu, using my last available skill point on the Heartfelt Hospitality skill.


    [Heartfelt Hospitality allows you to gain bonus XP when serving customers in a warm and friendly atmosphere]


    [Are you sure this is the skill you want?]


    "Yeah, now that I think about it, I''ll level a lot faster if I open the cafe to adventurers."  I smiled as I picked up a bowl of bread dough that I''d left out to rise earlier.  "Besides, I''d probably get bored baking alone."


    Not that I was ever alone with all the slimes for company, but if I could do something to return all the help the system had given me, I''d be glad to do it.


    "Fiona wants to go shopping too," I continued as I punched the bread dough down to release the air pockets, "so I might as well stock the cafe up.  I could get some new chairs, maybe some lanterns to brighten the place up, and definitely some storage containers."


    As I kept listing off things I''d need, blank message boxes appeared and disappeared, as if the system was trying to say something but wasn''t sure what.  Opening the cafe might not have been the first thing I wanted to do, but based on that reaction, it felt right.


    I wasn''t some greedy adventurer who would take all the treasure and loot the dungeon had to offer without giving anything back. I was a baker and it was my job to take care of people, through my food and my spirit.  I had more than enough of both to share.


    [Thank you]

 Chapter 16 - The Dungeon Wants a Cookie

    The Dungeon of Eternal Embers'' Point of View


    "We need to make a plan for those Living Trees on floor 6," Dave said, scratching his horns.  "The adventurers who are strong enough to defeat them already went past that floor while the lower level adventurers are complaining that we''ve stuck them in an unwinnable situation."  The satyr clutched his clipboard to his chest.  "My lord, you have to do something about that culinary mage!"


    The Dungeon had been hearing many such reports from Dave ever since it had allowed Hazel to become a culinary mage.  It was all she''s-breaking-the-system this or she''s-ruining-the dungeon that.  How could Dave not see the sheer joy she was creating too?  Sure, there was a bit of chaos, but she hadn''t done any of it intentionally.


    Everyone had to learn their class somehow.  She was just working out the kinks.  And while she did that, the Dungeon got to enjoy the most amusing sights it had ever seen.  Never had such an innocent adventurer caused such a monster surge!  Not only had the Living Trees grown and become stronger, but they seemed to be sticking to her request to not to hurt adventurers.  They just...toyed with them a bit.


    The baker was like a monster whisperer at this point. She gave them food, and in return, they obeyed her requests.  It was marvelous and highly irregular.


    The Dungeon had read about food before and knew that humans required it to survive, but it hadn''t realized that the taste changed the experience so much.  It was still the same ingredients, but Hazel''s food had an entirely different effect on people.


    What would such powerful food taste like?


    The Dungeon had never eaten food before, but to fully understand this new culinary mage class, maybe it would need to change that.  One could only balance a power if it knew how it worked after all.  The Dungeon would need a human body for that though.


    Maybe it could construct a living spark like how the Dungeon had created all the Daves.  With a shard of the Dungeon Core''s embers, new life could take shape, slowly growing and evolving until it surpassed its original creation and became real.


    Yes, that was exactly what the Dungeon would do.  It couldn''t wait to meet Hazel face to face and to try the cookies she thought could defeat the boss on floor 100...


    "My lord!" Dave shouted as he fell on his backside, frantically patting out embers that had drifted into his hair.  "Every time you think about that woman, you almost burn my eyebrows off!"


    Oops.


    The Dungeon relayed its apologies to Dave.  It never wanted to cause the poor satyr harm, but it just got so excited whenever it thought about Hazel that its flames couldn''t help but blaze up.  The Dungeon had gone from a smoldering pile of embers, about to be snuffed out, to a raging flame that would fuel the entire dungeon for years to come.


    How did one woman have such power?  It was exhilarating and the Dungeon wanted to know everything about her.  To balance the system, of course, not because it wanted to try her cookies that badly.


    As Dave went back to his report about the Living Tree incident, the Dungeon drifted off, creating its new body.  It had many choices to choose from: short or tall, round or skinny, long hair or short, the possibilities were endless.


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    What kind of body would Hazel prefer?  Based on the situations it had seen so far, she seemed to prefer small adorable creatures, so maybe short and plump would be best?  Possibly something shaped like that sweet potato she always spoke so fondly of?


    No, it didn''t want to be confused with the slimes.  The Dungeon wanted to make her feel safe, like she could trust it to protect her on tougher floors if needed.  To help her adventure, of course, not to impress her.


    So a tall body then, one with an athletic build and lean muscles, but what about the custom characteristics like hair and eye color?  And what class should the body have?  Fighter?  Archer?  Mage?


    Or maybe the Dungeon should take a page out of Hazel''s book and create a whole new class...


    "Sir, are you even listening?" Dave asked, sighing with exasperation as he walked closer to inspect the embers in the walls.  "Wait, are you creating a new spark to help me with all this?  Oh thank the gods, I really appreciate it!"


    The Dungeon had no idea how to answer that without upsetting Dave, so maybe it would need to make two living sparks.  One for its own secret use and another to help Dave and keep him busy.  Too busy to notice if the system went on autopilot once in a while...


    "This was a great idea," Dave exclaimed, sitting next to the Dungeon Core and marveling at all the different character creation options.  "Oh, the long black hair looks great.  Very dark and mysterious.  I bet the adventurers would listen to somebody like that better than me."


    The Dungeon thought Dave was doing a wonderful job, no matter what the adventurers said about him.  The satyr was a dutiful worker with an attention for detail that none of the other sparks had ever fully developed.  Dave was the only reason the Dungeon would even consider getting away with a secret like this, because it knew the system was in good hands with the Daves around.


    If anything truly serious happened, they¡¯d be able to find the new body.  The Dungeon would leave a trail of breadcrumbs for him to make sure of that.  Its flames danced in amusement at the thought.  Soon it would be trying real breadcrumbs that had fallen off actual bread.


    Together, the Dungeon and Dave spent the afternoon messing with all the possible options for the new sparks.  It settled on a fighter class for its own body with dark armor and a sword that had red gems in it that would glow with a bit of its flames.  For Dave''s new assistant, they chose a kindly older woman with a hidden strength who nobody would feel comfortable saying no to.


    Not twice, at least.


    The decision made Dave cackle with glee, which in turn, made the Dungeon happy too.  This was a nice way to pass the time.


    "Wait, what''s the second spark for?" Dave asked, tilting his head.


    The Dungeon tried to shove it aside in a place far away from Dave''s reach, but the satyr was like a dog with a bone sometimes.  He leapt up, staring down into the Dungeon''s flames.


    "You''re trying to escape!" His eyes widened, glancing at his piles of reports from earlier that all mentioned the new baker.  "And I bet I know where you''re going..."


    Alas, the Dungeon had been caught red-handed.  Actually, once it had hands, it wished to get them caught in a cookie jar.


    Before Dave could get too anxious, the Dungeon reassured him that this spark was only for emergencies.  It was the Dungeon''s plan for dealing with the Living Trees and any other issues that might come up.  Not that it would interfere directly, but with a body, the Dungeon could pull a few more strings.


    Dave''s eyes narrowed.  "Just for emergencies, huh?"


    The Dungeon''s flames shone brighter.  It wouldn''t lie to the satyr, but it didn''t have to tell him everything either.  It was the ruler of this Dungeon after all, so if it wanted to deal with a cookie emergency, it would damn well deal with it.


    With that, the Dungeon continued to design both new sparks, eagerly awaiting the day when they would be ready for use.  Hopefully Hazel would be just as excited as the Dungeon was.

 Chapter 17 - Safe Zone Shopping

    Fiona and I had been planning on leaving for the safe zone a while ago to get some shopping done, but I just couldn''t seem to bring myself to go.  I''d baked an item box full of food to trade and sell though, so we really should get going.


    I knelt down, hugging as many slimes as I possibly could.  Matcha rested on my shoulder while I leaned against Boss and cuddled the little dirt slimes too.


    "I won''t be gone long," I promised them, patting their little slime heads.  "I hate that I can''t take you with me, but monsters aren''t allowed in safe zones.  You''ll be fine here though.  Boss and Mossy will take care of you."


    I glanced up at the two biggest slimes, the only ones high enough level to actually protect anyone here.  They stared back at me, nodding slowly in agreement.  There were more dirt slimes than before, like they''d been multiplying, and it was so adorable watching them leap in and out of the garden.


    "You''re sure they''ll be okay?" I whispered to Fiona.


    She sighed.  "We''ve already tried to attack each other all over the place and just keep bouncing off.  The cafe is definitely a mini safe zone like Dave said, so as long as they''re here, they''ll be fine."


    The protection only seemed to reach so far, but it covered the gardens and the front yard too.  They''d be okay as long as they stayed nearby.  Matcha pressed up against my cheek, his new tea body warm and comforting like a hot water bottle.  I ran my fingers over his side, petting him.


    "You''ll be okay," I murmured again.


    "Do you think that maybe you''re the one who isn''t okay?" Fiona knelt to join us, playing with the slimes as she studied me.  "You said Matcha''s been with you since you got into the dungeon, right?"


    I nodded.  "From the very first few minutes, that adorable little bouncing slime has been by my side.  He''s the only reason I didn''t have a total breakdown when the door to the clearing disappeared and Dave was gone.  He also got me through that horrible chicken fiasco.  Matcha''s kept me going, kept me sane.  I don''t feel right leaving him."


    He chirped, nuzzling against me.


    "See?  He doesn''t want me to go either."  Tears pricked my eyes as I tried and failed to pull myself away from the slimes.  "Maybe you could shop for me instead?"


    "No way."  Fiona stood up, shaking her head.  "This is your cafe, so you need to be the one to furnish it.  You also need to meet other adventurers and show them how good your food is.  Otherwise nobody will show up to your cafe.  You need to do this."


    I sighed.  Everything she said made perfect sense, but I just didn''t want to.  What was so wrong with staying inside with the slimes and baking my worries away?


    Matcha pressed up against me one more time before hopping off my shoulder and bouncing over to the other slimes.  They chattered and chirped, nodding and swaying like they were having a whole big conversation.  Then a few of the slimes hopped toward the cafe, jumping inside the protection of the building.


    "Oh, you don''t need to do that," I said, knowing they preferred to be outside.  "It''s fine.  I''ll go to the safe zone and come right back."


    Matcha hopped outside, bouncing into the back of my legs until I got moving.


    "Okay, okay," I said with a laugh.


    Fiona grinned at the slime.  "Thanks for the assist.  We''ll bring you back a treat."


    Boss'' eyes widened as he poked his body out of the cafe just as Matcha started bouncing excitedly.  Trills sounded from the garden as the little dirt slimes cheered when they jumped out of the dirt, but were muffled once they hopped back in.  It was all so warm and happy, lifting a weight off my shoulders.


    "Thank you," I told Fiona.  "Treats are a great idea.  Let''s head out and find something good."


    She pulled a key out of her item box, holding it in the air until a door appeared around it.  She turned the key and the door opened, revealing stairs that led up.  I turned back one more time to wave goodbye to the slimes, only stopping when Fiona dragged me inside.


    "You''ll like the safe zone," she said as we walked upstairs.  "You wanted new clothes, right?  Not to mention tables and chairs for customers.  Not sure we''ll be able to afford all of that, but it doesn''t hurt to ask around."


    The allure of new clothing and slime treats had me rushing up the stairs.


    "That''s the spirit!" Fiona shouted, racing up with me until we reached the other door.  It flung wide open as bright light filtered into the stairway.  "Welcome to floor 5''s safe zone!"


    I blinked, adjusting to the bright light.  The cacophony of lots of people talking at once pressed against me as people milled about a wide open street full of stalls forming a marketplace.  Larger buildings that looked like permanent shops stood behind them with people coming and going frequently.  I kept close to Fiona as she confidently strode into the throng of people.


    There were just so many people!  Adventurers decked out in full plate armor clinked and clanked their way down the road as ones wearing simple leathers or cloth were more silent.  Almost everyone had weapons of some kind, ranging from bows to swords to maces even.  The only people without something deadly looking were the ones with magic books strapped to the small of their backs.


    It was all just so jarring compared to my quiet, secluded, slime-filled life up until now.


    "You doing okay?" Fiona turned back with a smile.  "It''s a little overwhelming at first, I know, but you''ll get used to it."


    I nodded, trailing after her as I tried to avoid bumping into anyone.  There were so many stalls!  Where should we start first?  Avoiding all the weapons sellers and armors was an easy answer, but that ruled out over half the market.  Nothing screamed come here for baking pans either.


    "Any ideas?" I asked Fiona as she stopped in front of a shop full of vibrant clothing.  A smile stretched across my face as the colors drew me in.  "Okay, we can start with the clothes, sure."


    She laughed.  "Figured it would be an easy win.  We might need to get creative with the rest of your list."


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    A bell rang as we opened the door, stepping into a world of cloth and leather.  Fully made outfits were displayed in the window while bolts of cloth scattered all over made it seem like they made custom designs too.  As we carefully made our way through the maze of fabrics, a woman called out from the back.


    "Welcome to Stitch and Spell!"  Her voice was cheerful, but the closer she got, the stranger she appeared.  Her body was made of fabric, smooth silks and intricate brocades.  Her thread smile beamed.  "How may I help you?"


    Fiona smiled back as if talking to a living doll was totally normal.  "We''re looking for a few new outfits that are more cozy than armored.  Something my friend could use as a cafe uniform with an apron too."


    "You''ve come to the right place."  The living doll spread her arms, shimmering blue sleeves swaying in the air.  "Here at Stitch and Spell, we imbue all our fabrics with the best enchantment spells.  I can have a fireproof apron made for you in a jiffy.  What else can I make for you?"


    "What is she?" I asked Fiona softly.


    Fiona shrugged.  "Nobody''s really sure, but all the shopkeepers are like that.  Some have a lot more personality than others, but none of them are human.  They seem willing to help us though and people trust them."


    The tailor kept staring at us, patiently waiting with eerie button eyes.  Fiona hadn''t led me astray so far, so I should at least try talking to the doll.  Especially if it meant getting out of this suffocating chef''s coat.  It really wasn''t ideal for a jungle floor.


    "Hello," I said, forcing as normal of a smile as I could.  "I''m looking for a half apron that goes from the waist down.  Maybe in a warm brown or green with clothes that look good with it too.  Something flowy so it''s not as hot on the dungeon floor I''m on."


    "I can accommodate that."  The doll held up a tape measure as her buttons sparkled.  "Time to get your measurements and make you the outfit of your dreams."


    In a tornado of measuring tape, thread, and lots of fabric, the doll spun me this way and that until she stood back with a pleased smile on her face.  A white shirt with long billowy sleeves hung on a nearby dress form along with a beautiful green skirt that had a golden floral pattern on it.  A frilled brown apron tied it all together.


    My eyes widened.  "How''d you make that so fast?"


    "It''s my job, dear," the doll said.  "What else can I make for you?"


    I was still hung up on the first thing she''d made.  The fabric was softer than anything I''d felt before, smooth and airy.  The golden flowers on the skirt were intricate, like a garden blooming from the bottom of the fabric.  This was exactly what I''d been hoping for in a new uniform, but I had a feeling dolls didn''t eat, so my whole bartering system was about to break down already.


    "Umm, how much is this going to cost first?" I asked.


    The doll tapped her chin.  "Ten coins should suffice.  If you plan to order more, I could bundle them together at a discount."


    Was ten coins a lot?  I glanced at Fiona, who''d wandered off on her own to shop.  Guess I was on my own.


    "Ummm, do you happen to like grilled cheese?"


    The doll cocked her head to the side.  "What is grilled...cheese?"


    I pulled a sandwich out of my item box and offered it to her.  "It tastes buttery and oh so cheesy."


    "Apologies, dear, but I only accept coins."


    "That''s all right," I said, pulling out the five gold I''d gotten with my starter gear.  "I''ll just take the shirt and the apron if that''s okay."


    "Not okay," Fiona called out, carrying what looked like long pieces of fabric that would cover her arms down to her hands.  "I''ll cover it.  Once we sell those cookies to other adventurers, you''ll make it back and more.  Trust me."


    "Can you really afford it though?"  I frowned, realizing I''d completely missed the bigger concept.  "Wait, how do you make money?  I got some when I first came here, but I haven''t seen any since."


    Fiona frowned.  "You don''t get money when you defeat monsters?  I thought everyone earned coins that way."


    "No, I get recipes and ingredients."  Yet another thing that was different between my class and everyone else''s.  "We can think on that later.  If you really don''t mind, I''d appreciate the loan for now.  Thank you."


    "Anytime. I mean, I am living with you rent-free."  Fiona laughed, handing the doll her items.  "Could you add some green highlights to these?  And make another outfit for my friend too?"


    "Wait, I don''t need anything else¨C"


    Fiona crossed her arms.  "What about all those times you''ve gotten covered in dirt playing with the slimes in the garden and wished you had some better clothes for it?"


    I sighed.  "Fair enough.  I''ll pay you back."


    "Excellent." Fiona nodded to the doll.  "We''ll need something suitable for gardening too, please.  Oh and if you''ve got a futon or something she could sleep on, that would be great.  She''s been sleeping in a pile of slimes."


    "Hey, they''re cozier than they look!"


    The doll blinked. "You sleep with monsters? Are you quite all right, dear?"


    "I''m fine."  The back of my neck warmed as Fiona barely covered up a snort.  "They''re more like friends than monsters anyway."


    "And friends deserve nice beds to sleep on," Fiona said.  "One futon as well please."


    The doll rushed to create the gardening outfit along with the futon, fabric and needles zipping through the air like magic.  The cafe didn''t have any bedrooms, so Fiona had been sleeping outside in a portable tent she''d brought with her while I''d been sleeping in the middle of the guest area.  I hadn''t thought much of it, but she must have felt bad for me this whole time on the floor.


    She really was a nice person, always thinking of others.  I wanted to pay her back, but all I had were cookies.


    "Here," I said, handing her a few cookies I''d made right before coming here.  "I know you''re probably getting tired of them by now, but I appreciate your help."


    She bit into the cookie, closing her eyes as she made a little happy noise.  "I will never get sick of these.  Keep ''em coming, thank you."


    The doll finished up her work right as Fiona ate the last cookie crumbs.  "That will be 25 coins in total, dears."


    I handed her my 5 while Fiona added the other 20.


    "Thank you for your business," the doll said, smiling as she bagged up our items.  "Please come again."


    "Um, actually..."  I held up the new outfit she''d made for my cafe work, not wanting to put it away so fast.  "Do you mind if I change into this here?"


    "Of course, right this way."  The doll led me to the back of her store where there was a fitting room.


    I removed my heavy chef''s coat.  This had served me well up until now, the only real link to my past, but it just wasn''t suited for my new job.  I couldn''t bring myself to get rid of it though, so I put it carefully into my item box with my other clothing from my previous life.  I''d need it one day when I returned.


    The new outfit was as soft as butter, wrapping me up like a cozy blanket.  It was really breathable too and looked beautiful when the light hit it.  I stepped back outside, twisting and turning to see the skirt sway around me and the sleeves fall against my arm.


    "What do you think?" the doll asked.  "Do you like it?"


    "I absolutely love it!" I pulled the tailor into a hug.  "Thank you.  I really appreciate this."


    When I pulled back, the doll just stood there, frozen for a moment before she reached over for a green ribbon that matched my skirt.


    "Here, this is on the house."  She tied it around the bottom of my braid, letting the ribbon hang loose.  "There we go.  You''re all set now.  Do come back again soon."


    "We will!"


    Fiona and I waved as we left the Stitch and Spell shop.  I glanced back to see the living doll in a flurry of fabric and thread again, stitching up a storm.  She might not be human, but she was definitely passionate about her craft.  I hoped I''d see her again soon.


    "Time to find some adventurers," Fiona said with a grin.  "Once they taste this food, they''ll open their wallets wide.  Then we can really work on furnishing the cafe."


    "If you say so..."


    The idea of meeting a bunch of new people was a little overwhelming, but I''d have to get used to it if I was going to run the cafe.  Nobody here had eaten tasty food in ages, so I knew mine would have an effect on them.  I just needed to capitalize on that and get this cafe off the ground.


    Sweet Potato was counting on me.

 Chapter 18 - Dungeon Bake Sale

    Fiona and I settled down at a wooden table off to the side of the market.  Dozens of other tables filled the courtyard with people eating, cleaning their weapons, or just chatting.  If we wanted to entice adventurers, this seemed like a good place to get their attention.


    "It''ll be okay," Fiona said.  "Just lay everything you made out on the table and see who stops by.  You could also cook something fresh if you wanted to draw people in with the aroma."


    "Good idea."


    I looked through my item box for something to make, but I''d used up a lot of my ingredients over the past few days between leveling up and making things to sell. I was even down to my last block of cheese, so grilled cheese was definitely out. I had a few cookie ingredients left though since Fiona had gotten a bit addicted to them and kept shoving more ingredients at me.


    Adventurers immediately started giving me strange looks as I took butter, flour, sugar, eggs, salt, and vanilla out of my item box.  I still didn''t have a proper mixing bowl, so I added everything to a pot for now while I got ready to use my big flashy skill.


    "Ingredient Efficiency," I called out in as magical of a tone as I could, "use baking soda."


    What looked like glowing white snow fell onto the other ingredients.  I slowly mixed everything together until it formed a solid dough, but I''d forgotten about something pretty important: the chocolate chips.  I didn''t have any!  I glanced at my mana bar, which was half depleted already, hoping it would be enough for chocolate chips.


    "Ingredient Efficiency," I called out again, "use chocolate chips."


    As chocolate chips rained onto my cookie dough, the crowd grew silent as everyone watched us.  We had their rapt attention, exactly like I''d hoped, but I was feeling a bit lightheaded as my mana bar hovered at almost empty.


    "You okay?" Fiona whispered.  "You''re looking a little pale."


    "I''m fine."  I took a few deep breaths, letting the scent of the cookie dough wash over me as I shaped it into balls.  "Just fine."


    Fiona frowned, but seemed to take my word for it.  She turned to the people watching us and shouted out.  "Come on over for your slime sweets and dungeon treats!"


    "Did she say slime sweets?" a woman whispered as another adventurer shook his head and walked off.


    I ignored them, adding cookies to the pan so they could start baking and filling the area with their delicious buttery smell.  The man turned back, sniffing the air.


    "Food doesn''t usually smell that good," he said.  "What''s going on?"


    "My friend here''s a culinary mage."  Fiona beamed with pride, like my class was somehow her doing.  "And believe me, you''ll never want to eat anywhere else except her cafe after you try her food."


    Murmurs rose up as a few people wandered over.  One anxious looking guy moved from table to table, as if wanting to talk to us, but he apparently couldn''t bring himself to do it.  Eventually, the woman who''d first spoken up joined our table.


    "What the hell''s a culinary mage?" she asked, eying the cookies with a hungry look, "and how do these smell so damn good?"


    Fiona grinned.  "So basically, when this goofball was supposed to pick a weapon in the tutorial zone, she chose a grilled cheese instead.  Now she''s a culinary mage and any food she makes tastes amazing."


    The woman''s eyes widened.  "That sounds ridiculous, but, um, can I try one?"


    And now it was time to reel her in.


    "Sure, the first sample''s free," I said as I slid the cookies her way.  "I hope you enjoy."


    The woman bit into the cookie cautiously, but then almost dropped it in shock.  "It tastes...like chocolate.  Actual chocolate."  She proceeded to devour the rest of the cookie, a soft moan escaping her lips.  "Are you selling these?  Your friend mentioned something about a cafe, right?  Where is it?"


    "On floor 6," I said, pulling more cookies out of my item box.  "I''m actually here trying to get enough money for furnishings, then I''ll be open soon."


    "Let me try one!" a man''s voice shouted, followed by another further away.  "Me too!"


    "I''ve got enough for everyone," I said, pulling all the cookies and fresh loaves of bread I''d made earlier out of my inventory.  "One coin for three cookies and three coins for a loaf of bread with jam."


    "Did she just say bread?" somebody asked.  "I haven''t tasted bread or jam in years."


    That''s when things really started picking up.  Fiona and I had our hands full passing out samples along with selling basically everything in my item box.  I held back anything with a buff though since Fiona had told me how useful my food was in combat.  I just didn''t feel right handing that power boost out to strangers yet, not when it might get used against something kind-hearted like my slimes.


    Once the frenzy settled down and we''d gathered up all the coins, the woman who''d first joined us got up to leave.


    "My name''s Astrid," she said, holding her hand out to shake.  "This was an unexpected pleasure.  I''ll make sure to stop by your cafe.  Where did you say it was again?  On a dungeon floor?"


    I nodded.  "Floor 6, yeah."


    Astrid tilted her head.  "Why not have it here?  I''m sure Dave would rent you a space."


    "Ohhh, I really doubt he''d go for that." I chuckled, picturing his head exploding at the idea.  "He''s the one who kicked me out of the safe zone in the first place.  No slimes allowed, he said."


    The happy chatter of the group quieted down as the anxious man who''d finally managed to buy a cookie from us flinched.  "Slimes??"


    "Yeah, my cafe''s called Slime Serenitea," I said confidently as Fiona tensed up.  "The slimes are my friends and they help out at the cafe.  See?"  I held up my wrist to show off the blue slime bracelet that Boss had given me.  "We''re bonded."


    "Bonded?  With a slime?" The anxious man shuddered.


    "Is something wrong?"  I frowned.  "I thought you liked the food, so what do the slimes have to do with it?"


    Astrid patted the man on the shoulder.  "Marvin''s just a bit traumatized after a slime, well, ate him.  Twice."


    "Oh," I said, trying not to picture him as a baby chicken being gobbled up by Jellybean.  "That would never happen at the cafe, I promise.  I feed the slimes every day."  The man flinched, scooting further away on the bench.  I held up my hand.  "I meant with actual food, not people!  I feed them baked goods, like a civilized cafe."


    Fiona was obviously trying not to laugh, but lost the battle entirely as her shoulders started shaking with mirth.  "Sorry, I''ve just seen that happen before and it''s always so strange.  But the slimes at the cafe really aren''t like that, plus, it''s a safe zone.  They couldn''t eat you if they tried."


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    Was that true?  We''d tested combat, sure, but we hadn''t tested if the slimes could eat anyone on the cafe grounds or not.  Well, not that it mattered anyway, since they''d never do such a thing.  The image of the chicken came to mind again.  Okay, they probably wouldn''t do such a thing.


    Astrid shook her head.  "These cookies are great, but no offense, I''ll pass on the whole slime thing.  I''m friends with people, not monsters."


    The other adventurers nodded, even though a few of them hung back like they were hoping for more food. I guess I should have expected that reaction, but I just didn''t get it.  The slimes were so kind and caring.  I could never see them the same way these adventurers did.


    "Wait," Fiona called out, "it really is a great place.  Being on the dungeon floor is a bonus so you don''t have to stop adventuring to come all the way back here for good food.  Just give it a try."


    Astrid paused.  "That''s true, but I don''t know.  We farm slimes for XP, so getting cozy with them just doesn''t seem right."


    "Yeah, they''re monsters for a reason," another adventurer said.  "They''ll kill you in your sleep if you don''t keep your guard up. You should kill them before they kill you."


    Fiona was about to say something, but I shook my head.  "Don''t bother.  If they''re not even willing to give the slimes a chance, then they don''t deserve my cooking.  They''re just slime killers."


    "Hey," Astrid said, but I cut her off.


    "People who farm slimes for XP make me sick," I said.  "They''re the weakest monsters in the dungeon and people like you take advantage of that.  My food is only for adventurers who fight fair, sticking to opponents who are at their level and actually fight back.  If any of you want to see another side of this dungeon and its monsters, while enjoying delicious food, you know where to find me.  Otherwise, you can leave."


    The mood shifted as most people finally did walk away, leaving the tables around us empty.  The only one left was the frightened little man named Marvin.


    "I''m guessing you hate slimes too, huh Marvin?" I waited for a moment, but he just stared at the ground, so I started packing my things away, only stopping when Fiona put her hand on my arm.  Her expression told me everything I needed to know.  "Sorry, I think I messed that all up."


    She shook her head.  "It''s fine.  We''ll find better adventurers and at least we made some money."


    "True, we can furnish the cafe now," I said with a weak smile.  "But I''m not sure about the better adventurers part.  I mean, I knew people didn''t like slimes, but to dislike them so much that they won''t even consider them as anything other than monsters?  That''s just narrow-minded."


    "They''d think differently if they saw them," Fiona said.  "If they saw how they are with you, I mean.  You have to realize that this is a dungeon, so fighting monsters is ingrained in our way of life.  The system literally gives us quests to do it, encouraging us to slay as many monsters as we can for great rewards.  I''ve never heard of somebody befriending monsters before.  Not until you at least.  Give them some time to come around, to see the slimes like you see them."


    I clenched my apron.  She was right.  I couldn''t expect everyone to just change their ways overnight.  This was a dungeon and they all got XP from defeating monsters.  I''d lucked out and gotten a different kind of class, but could I really tell them to stop fighting when it meant they''d stop getting XP too?  When it meant they''d never be able to get out of here?


    Fiona had been fighting monsters and I''d even let her test my food out for it too, but somehow that felt different.  Maybe it was because I knew her and wanted her to stay safe?  Or maybe it was because I didn''t know her opponents?  I wasn''t sure.


    I worried my lip.  Was there really no good answer to this?  Either they fought and hurt creatures that might be innocent or they didn''t fight and were doomed to be stuck here forever.  Neither of those was a good option.


    "Um, miss?" Marvis stammered out.  "Sorry to interrupt, but could you, maybe, tell me more about the slimes you mentioned?  The nice ones, I mean."


    "You''re sweet, but you don''t need to humor me," I said, "I know they ate you and that''s pretty awful, actually.  Sorry that happened."


    Maybe there were no truly innocent people or creatures in this dungeon.  Everyone was just doing what they had to to survive.  The real question was: why?  Why was the dungeon like this in the first place?


    Fiona nodded.  "Yeah, that sucks.  I can teach you to protect yourself if you want."  She held her hands in the air.  "Without hurting the slimes, of course."


    "Of course."  A real smile stretched across my face.  Fiona was the kind of adventurer I wanted to trust.  The kind who leveled up, but not mindlessly.  Maybe Marvin was the same way.  I turned to him, pulling a pot back out of my item box to boil water.  "Do you like tea?"


    "Very much so," he said, nodding earnestly as he scooted a bit closer again.


    I took a few very special tea leaves out of my item box, ones that had fallen off Matcha''s head like a gift from the adorable little slime.  They glowed softly, shimmering with beautiful green light.


    "This tea is from my slime friend, Matcha," I said, adding it to the pot.  "He was a blue slime when I got here, but he loved tea so much that he evolved into a tea slime."


    Marvin''s eyes widened.  "Slimes can evolve?"


    "Slimes can do all sorts of things," Fiona said, leaning closer.  "There''s even some slimes that grow food.  Honestly, carrots pop right out of their heads and fly through the air!"


    The adventurer rolled his eyes, blushing.  "You don''t need to make up stories.  I want to know what they''re really like."


    "That is what they''re really like." I pulled out a few carrots I hadn''t used for anything yet.  "Mossy, a colossos dirt slime, gave me these.  The dirt slimes live in the garden behind my cafe and they love growing food.  They appreciate freshly tilled soil and a lot of fresh water in return."


    Marvin blinked.  "You''re serious?"


    "Deadly serious," I said, smiling as I remembered the system telling me that one time.  "You can meet them if you want."


    He shook his head, shoving himself away.  "Oh no, I''m much safer here.  I''ll just listen to your stories, that''s all."


    Fiona frowned, glancing at me like I should do something, but what was I supposed to say?  The tea was done steeping though, so I strained it into a mug that Fiona had lent me and passed it to Marvin.


    "I''ll tell you all the stories you want," I said.


    As I told him all about the time Jellybean and I were treed by monster chickens, leaving out the part about how the slime had started the whole thing, Marvin''s shoulders visibly relaxed.  He drank the tea deeply, smiling and even laughing here and there as I told him about the first time I met Mossy in the garden and how much fun all the little dirt slimes had.


    Fiona even added the silly part about how we''d gotten stuck in the cramped shack with Boss filling up the entire room and how I slept curled up with the slimes like a little cat.


    "Seriously?" Marvin laughed.  "You''re braver than I am, that''s for sure."


    "It''s not bravery, it''s just that I trust them."  I refilled his empty cup with a smile.  "The slimes are my friends.  I even have a title for it."


    At that, the words Slime Friend appeared in front of me.


    Marvin shook his head.  "Incredible.  Maybe, if you and Miss Fiona were with me, maybe I''d like to visit that cafe.  I am getting a bit tired of being stuck here and if something doesn''t change, I''ll never leave."  He gulped down the rest of his tea, slamming the cup on the table.  "I want to get over this fear.  Introduce me to the slimes!"


    "Well that was sure a 180," Fiona said with a laugh, "but I''ll make sure you''re safe."


    I nodded.  "Me too.  We''ve got a few errands left to run, but we can go after that if you want."


    "Now?" he asked with a squeak.  "You want to go that soon?"


    "Unless you don''t want to?" I asked as he put literal distance between us again, scooting almost all the way off the bench.  "It''s fine."


    He slumped over on the table, head buried in his arms.  "You think I''m a coward now just like all the rest, don''t you?"


    "Not at all."  I debated patting his shoulder, but wasn''t sure if that would be too personal.  "Why don''t you think on it for a while?  I''ll need to come back for ingredients often, so you''ll have plenty of opportunities to join us."


    "Really?  That sounds great." He lifted his head, taking a deep breath.  "You don''t happen to have any of that tea for sale, do you?  It was so calming, the best I''ve ever had.  Without it, I''d have ended up on the ground quivering."


    He laughed, rubbing the back of his head as his face burned bright red.  I did have a few leaves left, but I''d been hoping to save those for myself.  When I saw him fidgeting with his fingers though, I realized he needed it a lot more than I did.


    "Sure, do you have something to store it in?"


    When he nodded, I passed him the rest of Matcha''s first leaf harvest.  The poor adventurer smiled widely, thanking us over and over as he backed away.


    "That was nice of you," Fiona said.  "I know you were looking forward to sampling that yourself."


    "It''s fine.  There will be plenty more where that came from."


    I was glad we''d run into Marvin.  If somebody who''d been eaten by slimes not once, but twice, was willing to visit my cafe, then maybe these adventurers were better than I thought they were.

 Chapter 19 - Clubs Make Good Rolling Pins, Right?

    We''d gone to every single shop and stall in the safe zone, but nobody, absolutely nobody, sold baking equipment.  We''d managed to find the basics like some tasty new ingredients for the slimes, dishes and flatware, and even some mismatched lanterns to hang from the ceiling, but nothing like baking pans or display racks.  Honestly, nobody even sold tables or chairs either, which felt really odd.


    "Okay, so hear me out," Fiona said, holding up a battle-worn wooden club, "imagine this as a rolling pin."


    "That''s a club..."


    "A very rolly club," she said with a grin.  "Seriously, once we whittle it down and sand it, it would make a great rolling pin.  It''s a good length and weight."


    I frowned at the weapon, wishing I had a better option, but honestly?  The club was the best thing we''d found.


    "Okay."  I tapped my chin, looking around at the rest of the weapons store we''d saved for last.  "What about serving trays then?"


    Fiona''s eyes lit up. "Oh!  We could use shields!"


    She rushed to grab the nearest one, handing it to me.  The large metal shield was so heavy that it felt like my arm might rip off as it crashed toward the floor, but thankfully Fiona caught it in the nick of time. I didn''t want any you-break-it-you-buy-it moments here.


    "Okay, maybe not that shield," she said sheepishly, "but we can find lighter ones."


    With that, Fiona and I set off on a scavenger hunt of strange things we could repurpose for the cafe.  I drew the line at her trying to convince me to use an old helmet as a mixing bowl, but various other pieces of armor would work fine as cooling racks and things like that if we could flatten them out.  We even found whole crates full of empty potion bottles that would be great for single serving desserts, especially the ones with wider openings.


    "Why not take the crates too?" Fiona asked.  "If we put some of them together, we could make extra counter space for you.  Or tables or chairs maybe?"


    "I guess that could work?"  My sense of what was a good idea versus a bad one was starting to get skewed here.  "Hmmm, maybe this old treasure chest could store my pots and pans so I''ve got more room in my item box?"


    Fiona grinned.  "Definitely.  If we find some others, we can make the cafe feel really homey too.  Like treasure is around any corner."


    "Is that what homey feels like?" I laughed, shaking my head at her.  "What about those wine barrels we saw at the market?  Those would make great stools."


    "You''re right, we should go back to all the shops with this newfound sense of adventurous shopping!"


    Fiona''s excitement was infectious, so we took off with a new outlook on what would work for the cafe.  We rented a cart for the things that didn''t fit in our item boxes and went to town, buying up so many strange things I''d probably regret later.  The most fun was going back to the tailor''s shop for tablecloths and napkins.


    But after a while, we finally had to accept that some things just couldn''t be found.


    "I think it''s time to call it quits," I said sadly.  "Maybe the dungeon will reward me with muffin pans and baking sheets when I upgrade my cafe next time.  And I can get by without pastry cutters and things like that.  It''s fine."


    "No way, that is not fine."  Fiona linked her arm through mine, confidently tugging me in a direction we hadn''t gone yet.  "We''re going to talk to the blacksmith."


    "There''s a blacksmith??  Why didn''t we stop there to begin with?"


    "He''s not exactly the most imaginative guy," she said, pushing the cart ahead of us.  "I''ve asked for customizations a few times, but they go right over his head.  So baking pans will probably be a hard pass, but we might as well give it a try, right?"


    "Right."


    The sounds of metal clanging against metal drew us to a large forge at the edge of the safe zone, all the way past the housing district and other shops.  I felt kind of bad for the smith actually, like nobody wanted the sound of his shop anywhere near them.  But the closer we got, the more excited Fiona talked about it.


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    "He let me watch when he forged my hammer and it was one of the coolest things I''ve ever seen."  She patted the hammer on her back.  "The way he changed it from a hunk of metal to a weapon this fine was a sight to behold."


    Her eyes were all shiny like a woman talking about her first love, not her favorite weapon.  But hopefully that meant the smith and her were close and he''d be willing to make these baking pans I needed.


    The air grew hotter as we walked into the shop, so hot it was almost hard to breathe.  The smokey scent of coal burning filled the air and the fires created a beautiful ambiance.


    "Welcome to the Obsidian Forge," a gruff voice called out.  "I''m in the back."


    "Hey Brennic."  Fiona waltzed over to the anvil he was working at, already peering at the metal.  "What are you making?"


    The blacksmith was broad-shouldered and muscular, and his skin was almost black with bright molten cracks in it like he was made of lava rock.  The orange and red glow beneath his skin pulsed like a heartbeat, spreading out from his chest.  With each stroke of his hammer, the fire inside him blazed.


    "A dagger," he said between hammer strikes.  "Are you buying something or just here to watch again?"


    "Buying," I said, moving closer to the intense heat of his forge.  "I''m looking for baking pans like muffin tins and cookie sheets.  Maybe some pie pans too and dough cutters."


    The big lava man finally stopped hammering.  "Does this look like a bakery to you?  I make weapons, not whatever those are."


    Yeesh.  I turned to Fiona, silently pleading with her to help.  She was the one who thought this was a good idea.


    "I know, but wouldn''t it be fun to branch out?" she asked.  "Imagine the interesting things you could make.  Plus, she''s a culinary mage, so baking pans are kind of like her weapons and armor."


    Brennic raised an ashen eyebrow at me.  "Will you be hitting anything with said muffin pans?"


    "Um, no?" I winced.  "They''re just for cooking.  But my food does increase people''s buffs and do all sorts of other things.  So it is how I fight."


    "Interesting."  He went back to hammering, but he kept glancing at us.  "Look, even if I wanted to help, I wouldn''t know how.  I make weapons."


    "Just try it out, see what happens," Fiona said, smiling.  "If it doesn''t work out, no problem."


    He shook his head.  "No, I mean I only know how to make weapons.  That''s all I do."


    I blinked.  "But if you wanted to try something else, couldn''t you just¨C"


    "No."  He shot me down hard as he put the piece of metal he was working on back in the forge to heat up again.  "I was only told to make weapons.  That''s my job."


    Fiona and I shared a look.  This must have been what she meant about customizations going over his head.  It was almost like he''d been given a set of skills and literally didn''t know how to do anything else.  Like he was...programmed or something.


    "Hey Sweet Potato?  Got any ideas here?"  I asked softly.


    If the blacksmith was part of the system, maybe the system could allow him to experiment with new things.  But after a few awkward minutes of us all staring at each other without a single blue message box to be seen, I gave up.


    "Fine, let''s just go.  Thank you for your time."


    Brennic nodded.  "Sorry I couldn''t be more helpful.  If you need a sword or an axe though, I''m your guy."


    Fiona crossed her arms, staring at the forge with a strange look on her face.  "What if...you let me try and make them?"


    "What?" He scoffed.  "You''re not even a blacksmith."


    "It''s fine, Fiona, don''t worry about it." I tried to tug her away, but she was fixated on the bars of metal against the wall.


    She picked one up with a set of giant metal tongs and put it in an open forge.  Then she grabbed a spare leather apron that was far too big for her and stood beside the forge, waiting for the metal to heat up.


    "I''m doing this," she said firmly.  "I''ll pay for the materials, but I''m doing this."


    Brennic sighed.  "Fine, just don''t burn yourself.  Or set anything on fire.  Or¨C"


    "I get it," she said with a laugh.  "I''ll be careful."


    "You don''t have to do all this for me," I said.  "I''m really fine."


    "There''s something about this place that calls to me. Something...familiar."  Fiona stared into the flames, as if in a trance.  "I need to do this for me.  Plus, if I end up making a lumpy ball of metal, then that''s that.  I''ll finally have my answer."  The light from the forge flickered against her skin.  "But if I make the best muffin tins you''ve ever seen, then that would be something else entirely."


    The way she was talking made it sound like this was much bigger than me, like she''d thought about forging something for a while, but hadn''t had the nerve to actually do it.  If my baking pans could give her that push, then more power to her.


    "Want me to stay?" I asked.


    She shook her head.  "This might take a while.  I''ll stop by the cafe once I''ve made everything on your list."


    "Or she flames out," Brennic said.  "Honestly, a fighter coming in here thinking they can shape metal.  It''s not that easy, you know."


    But when Fiona took the metal out of the fire and set it on an anvil, she looked like a complete natural.  She picked up one of Brennic''s hammers and went to work, hitting and shaping that hunk of steel like she did it every day.


    She''d told me once that the best way to remember your past was to do something you''re familiar with.  For me, that was baking, but maybe for her it was smithing.  I left the two of them in the forge bickering about the finer points of blacksmithing while I prepared to go back to my cafe.


    It had been a long day and I wanted nothing more than to cuddle up with the slimes.

 Chapter 20 - When the Bakers Away, the Slimes will Play

    Pushing the cart had been no problem on the well-kept roads of the safe zone, but in a jungle?  I was struggling, putting all my weight behind it to move the wheels over a rocky patch.  I''d have used my special key for the cafe, but since that connected to the front door, the cart would''ve ended up stuck inside.  I really didn''t want to have to break it apart just to get it out.


    So here I was, slowly pushing this thing back home and hoping no monsters showed up.  I thankfully didn''t have far to go though as I spotted the cafe in the distance.  Bright and colorful slimes bounced in the front yard, beckoning me home.  I pushed the cart with renewed vigor, excited to see them again.


    Except, at least four or five of the slimes were bright orange and red with what looked like campfire flames dancing around them.  I rubbed my eyes, staring at them.  Yup, they were definitely fire slimes and Matcha was rolling around with them without a care in the world.  He was even nuzzling up against one like they were suddenly best friends.


    Boss was sleeping against the side of the cafe while the little dirt slimes piled rocks around him in precarious piles like they were hoping he''d knock them over when he woke up.  Their little noises sounded so much like giggling children that I couldn''t help but smile.


    The slimes had thrown a frickin party while I was gone!  I leaned against the cart, watching them leap and play.  It felt good to be home.


    "Hazel?" a man''s voice called out.


    I flinched as a man dressed all in black appeared beside the cafe, as if he''d been hiding in the shadows.  A sword hilt peeked over his shoulder and before I knew it, he was running straight at me.


    "You''re finally back!" he called out, barreling toward me at full speed.


    "Who are you?" I tried to keep the cart between us, but he was far too agile and moved around it with ease, a huge grin on his face.  "What do you want?"


    "You.  Isn''t that obvious?"


    My pulse raced.  He wanted me?  What did that even mean?


    "Boss, wake up! We''ve got a weirdo at the cafe."


    The big slime jerked awake, knocking all the piles of rocks over.  The dirt slimes chirped, rolling around like they were laughing, but Boss immediately focused on the man about to grab me.  He bounced over in two big leaps, putting himself between me and the stranger.


    "Wait, I think I said that wrong," the man said, but I couldn''t see him anymore around the big slime.  "You''re usually always here, so it was weird when you weren''t.  So I was waiting for you."


    "How do you know I''m usually here?" My chest tightened as all the alarm bells rang in my head.  "Are you a stalker or something?"


    "What? No." I heard the man sigh loudly.  "I''m messing this all up.  Dave''s going to be so mad."


    "Dave sent you?"


    "He did not."  The man''s voice was sounding kind of shaky, so I peeked around Boss just in time to see him fall against the cart, gripping it for support.  "Don''t tell that nosey satyr I''m here, okay?"


    "Maybe tell me who you are first and I''ll consider it."


    Not that I knew how to contact Dave anyway, but the threat seemed to work because the man straightened up and gave me a pleading look with amber eyes that felt familiar.  His gaze was warm, like I''d met him somewhere before.  Which was ridiculous since I''d only met a few other adventurers so far and I''d have remembered somebody who looked like him.


    His long black hair drifted in front of his eyes as he swayed on his feet, gripping the cart tighter.


    "Are you okay?" I asked, moving closer to him despite my better judgment.


    Ugh.  Why was I worried about some random stalker outside my cafe?  I should go inside and wait for him to leave, not check on his well being.


    The man smiled faintly, his forehead glistening with sweat.  "Yes, I''ll be alright.  I just need¨C"


    His eyes filled with confusion as he swayed, grabbing onto my shoulder for support.


    "Hey now"¨Chis body went limp before I could finish, falling against me¨C"no, no, no.  This is not happening!"


    My stomach lurched as we careened backward.  A slime darted under my head right before it cracked against the ground, but the adventurer''s dead weight pressed against my chest like a rock, making it hard to breathe. Did he pass out from exhaustion or was he sick?


    His head rested on my shoulder, deep even breaths warm against my skin like he was fast asleep.  Well, at least he was cozy.


    "Hey Boss?" I asked, craning my head back to see him.  "Think you can help?"A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    Boss just stared down at me, shaking back and forth.  Okay, that left it up to me then.  I struggled to push the adventurer off me, but it was no use.  The big lug was way too heavy!  I let out an exhausted breath, wishing I''d stayed in the safe zone with Fiona.  I could really use more friends with hands.


    "Hey Mister?" I tapped the adventurer''s back.  "Time to get up. I promise I won''t tell Dave about...whatever this is, but please, get off me."


    The man shifted with a groan, but instead of standing up, he nuzzled closer to me.  Great.  Just great.  Nothing like being pinned beneath a total stranger in the middle of a dungeon.  The faint scent of campfire smoke wafted off him, which was oddly comforting.  My pulse slowed as the adrenaline from our fall finally wore off.  If I couldn''t move him, then I was going to need some help.


    "Matcha, think you and the other slimes can work together to lift this guy off me?"


    The green tea slime wiggled underneath one of the man''s arms while the fire slimes moved under his legs.  One of the dirt slimes even managed to wiggle between my stomach and his, and together, they rolled the adventurer off me.


    I took a few deep breaths, grateful to be free of that extra weight, before sitting up.  The fire slimes had crowded around him, pressing against his body in concern.  They kept looking over at me with worried eyes too, like they expected me to do something about him.  Matcha hopped onto my lap, nuzzling up against me.


    "I''m okay, thanks for the help," I said, patting his head.  I turned around to the dirt slime who''d broken my fall and patted his head too.  "Thank you both.  But what are we going to do about him?"


    The adventurer turned over, a faint smile on his face like he was dreaming about something wonderful.  Seriously, who the hell was this guy that he could just take a nap in the middle of all this?


    He said he''d been waiting for me, which meant he''d had plenty of time to kill the slimes if he wanted to, but he didn''t.  That was one point in his favor at least.  Plus, he''d seemed excited to see me, not angry or creepy.  I mean, kind of creepy, but I didn''t actually get a dangerous vibe off him.  Plus, every slime here was circled around him like he was some sort of fallen king.  Even Matcha was giving me that puppy dog look of his.


    I sighed.  "Okay, okay, let''s get him inside.  I''ll make some healing soup for when he wakes up, but then he''s outta here.  This is all just too weird."


    The slimes chirped, positioning themselves under his body so they could move him as a group.  It reminded me of ants carrying big pieces of food as they shuffled forward, moving the sleeping adventurer as carefully as they could.


    I grabbed the blankets from the cart, laying them on the floor of the cafe as a makeshift bed.  The slimes deposited the adventurer on top and snuggled inside the blankets with him.  The warm glow of their fires looked so cozy and somehow didn''t catch anything on fire.


    "So who are all of you, hmmm?" I asked the new fire slimes.  "Did you come with this guy?"


    They nodded, chirping and wiggling like they were telling me some big story I wished I could understand.  Matcha nodded along with them, mouth wide open in an O sometimes.  Man, a slime communication skill would be really helpful right about now.


    "Okay, well feel free to stay as long as you play nice with the other slimes," I said.  "I''m going to make that soup so I can get this guy out of here as soon as possible."


    I pulled a large pot out of my inventory, filled it with water, and put it on the stove.  Before I could light the fire, one of the slimes wiggled into the opening underneath the stove.  His flames grew warmer, verging on hot as the water started simmering.


    "Well aren''t you useful," I said with a grin.  "Thanks for the help."


    The fire slime trilled, wiggling deeper into the stove like it was his new home.  That would make cooking so much easier, especially if he could regulate his heat output well.  These slimes were constantly surprising me.


    I went into the back yard to gather some vegetables for the soup, catching carrots and garlic as they popped out of the heads of dirt slimes.  Food started flying every time I walked into the garden and it had become a fun little game of catch with the slimes as I harvested ingredients.  Once I had enough for the soup, I went back into the cafe.


    Five fire slimes had crowded beneath the stove and the water was boiling over, sizzling as it hit the slimes.  I rushed forward, dropping the ingredients.


    "Are you okay?" I asked, taking the water off the stove.  The slimes pushed against each other, barely fitting in the open space.  "You can''t all be there.  Only one or two will fit."


    They started shoving each other, battling to see who would get to stay and who would get shoved out of the stove.  I sighed, wanting to grab them, but they were still too hot.  Matcha made a noise outside the kitchen, leaning toward the sleeping adventurer.  Was he why they were being so insistent on making this soup?


    "Calm down!" My shout drew their attention.  "If you''re doing this to help that adventurer, then you should take turns.  He needs some of you to keep him warm too, right?"


    The fire slimes tilted their heads, chirping.  Then three of them squeezed out of the stove and bounced back into the main cafe, presumably to comfort their fallen friend.  Man, he must be some kind of wonderful to have their support like this.  Hopefully he''d wake up soon so I could ask him about it.


    He must have been really exhausted to have fallen asleep like that.  I put the pot back on the stove, smiling at the little fire slimes still here.  Their flames danced as the water started to boil again.


    I chopped up the carrots, potatoes, garlic, and herbs, adding them to the water.  Then I used my Ingredient Efficiency skill to add some tasty chicken bouillon to the mix and things really started to smell good.  I stirred the soup, breathing in the comforting scent as I pictured the adventurer drinking this soup and having all his health and vitality restored.


    This soup wouldn''t just taste good, but it would make him feel better too.  No more sweat on his forehead or sway in his steps.  Any sickness he might have had would be gone.  The slimes needed him to feel better.


    "Use Buff Baking!" I commanded, hoping for the glorious healing buff.  "Please work."


    [Healing Soup Level 5 Acquired]


    [+15 XP]


    I grinned.  Either the system was being kind or visualization helped the skill.  Either way, I was grateful.


    "See that, little slimes?" I leaned down to peer inside the stove.  "This soup is going to heal your friend right up."


    They wiggled and danced, almost boiling the soup over again in their excitement.  I laughed, taking it off the stove before it got everywhere.  Anyone who could make the slimes this happy was worth getting to know.


    "Hazel?" the man''s voice called out.  "Am I in the cafe?  And what''s that smell?"


    I sucked in a breath, gaze darting to the kitchen door.  He was awake.  Time to meet this friend of the fire slimes properly.

 Chapter 21 - Whats My Name?

    The Dungeon of Eternal Ember''s Point of View


    Warmth surrounded the Dungeon, but something was different.  It felt the softness of a blanket against its skin and the weight of slimes sitting on top of it.  It opened its eyes, blinking in the soft light of the cafe.  Everything was so bright and colorful with these new eyes.


    His new eyes.  He was a human now, or as close to one as he''d ever get, so he should use their words.


    A fire slime cuddled closer and the Dungeon frowned.  These slimes had almost given his identity away.  Fire chasing fire.  He shook his head at them, all squishy and smiley.  What exactly did Hazel see in them anyway?  They were cute, he supposed, but they weren''t anything amazing.  Not like a dragon or a hydra or anything cool like that.  They were just slimes.


    And yet, they''d captured her attention just as much as she''d captured his.


    He held a hand out to the fire slime, marveling at the way his new limbs moved so smoothly.  He patted the creature, letting the slime''s warmth seep into his skin.  The slime cooed, rubbing against his palm as his flames blazed just a bit brighter.  Getting warmth from another felt better than he''d expected, and it made him want to curl back in the blankets and sleep some more.  But a curious scent was filling the air and his body was making a loud grumbling noise.


    He clutched his stomach.  What was that?  Was he sick?  Or...was this hunger?


    The Dungeon had never been hungry before.  He leapt out of the blankets, causing a few slimes to tumble across the cafe''s floor.  He rushed to put them back on the blanket, giving them an apologetic pat, then followed the scent.


    Hazel stood in the kitchen leaning over a stove filled with fire slimes, mixing what looked like a pot of soup.  Her long brown hair was in a braid over her shoulder and her eyes were closed as she inhaled the scent of the soup, a smile on her lips.  Her clothing was different than before, with a flowing green skirt and a loose white shirt.


    As she moved, the shirt tugged down on her shoulder a bit, revealing more of her fair skin than she''d ever shown before.


    Something fluttered in the Dungeon''s chest.


    He pressed a hand against it, feeling his heartbeat thundering under his palm.  He backed away, not wanting Hazel to see him in such a state.  What was going on?  First he fainted and now he was feeling light-headed?  He''d rushed to make this body, too excited to even test it out before coming here.  Maybe he''d made a mistake somewhere in its creation.


    Thankfully the feeling subsided in a few moments.  He took a deep breath.  Everything was fine.


    That delicious scent was getting stronger though, filling the air with smells he couldn''t identify.  He''d never needed to know what things smelled like before, just like he didn''t need to know what they tasted like.  But now, now he could experience both.


    A smile tugged at his lips.  He was going to get to taste Hazel''s cooking!


    "Hazel?" He called out, pretending like he had just woken up.  "Am I in the cafe?  And what''s that smell?"


    He dared to walk back to the kitchen, pretending to be just a regular adventurer.  He wasn''t in control of any systems or tasked with looking out for an entire dungeon''s worth of inhabitants.  No, today he was just a man standing in front of a woman cooking soup.


    Her eyes widened when she saw him.  "Oh, good, you''re up."


    "Sorry about that, I just," he paused, not really sure what to say.  Sorry he just created a human avatar and didn''t wait long enough to figure out how it worked?  No, that was definitely not something a "normal adventurer" would say.  "I, uh, just was really tired!  Yeah, tired, that''s it."


    "Okay."  She frowned, but nodded.  "I thought you might be sick, so I made soup with a healing buff."


    Sick.  That made way more sense.  Come on, Dungeon, get it together.


    "Wait, that soup is for me?" he asked, suddenly very interested in the vegetables swimming in the golden broth.  "Can I...try some?"


    "Let''s start with your name first." She crossed her arms, letting the soup bubble away without her attention.  "You passed out before you could tell me."


    Ummmm....what was his name???


    How could he be so shortsighted to not even think of a name for himself?  Every human had one, so if he was going to be a good human, he needed one too.  The closest he''d come was the name she''d given him, but he couldn''t exactly call himself Sweet Potato right to her face.  That would definitely blow his cover and he could already feel his face warming at the idea.


    No, he needed a human name.  An adventurer''s name.  Something worthy of his flames.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    Hazel tilted her head, frowning at him again.  "That was supposed to be an easy question, you know.  What are you trying to hide?"


    "Nothing." He shook his head, getting his long black hair in his eyes.  Black was a color he knew well, giving him an idea.  "My name''s Cole."


    He waited to see how she''d react, hoping the name met her approval, but she just kept staring at him.  He started to squirm.  She''d given him so many options when she named him, but this one was his own creation.  Did she dislike it?


    "Nice to meet you, Cole, and welcome to the Slime Serenitea Cafe."  She grabbed a bowl and started spooning soup into it.  "Now eat this, get better, and tell me what the hell you''re doing here.  Because if we''re going to get along, you need to convince me that you''re not a stalker first."


    There was that word again: stalker.  His nose crinkled, but he couldn''t really refute it.  He had spent day after day watching her, but it was his job!  He watched everyone, not just Hazel.  He had a feeling that wouldn''t work in his favor though.


    He needed to seem trustworthy and the most trustworthy person he knew was Dave.  He was a guide, so bringing him up should ease her worries a bit and give Cole a plausible reason for his so-called stalking.


    "Dave sent me."


    Hazel frowned.  "Really?  Do you work with him or something?"


    "Yeah, something like that.  He can''t leave the training meadow very often, so I check up on other things for him."  I winced as the lies kept tumbling out of my mouth.  "Like this cafe.  He was wondering if you''d started serving guests or not yet, since he said that was a deal you made when you took the key."


    There.  A true answer.  That would hopefully bring this back around to trust.  He wished he could just tell her who he was, but that would cause all sorts of issues for her.  He wanted to keep her life as simple and happy as possible, not complicate it.


    "Huh, I did say that, didn''t I?"  She shrugged, handing him a bowl of soup.  "Well, I haven''t officially opened yet, but I made food for you.  Does that count?"  She smiled, pouring a bowl of soup for herself as well.  "Let''s eat before it gets cold."


    That smile tugging at her lips changed everything.  Her eyes no longer frowned at him suspiciously and her body was more relaxed.  Bringing up Dave had really worked!


    Cole wanted to leap with joy at her acceptance, but didn''t dare spill a single drop of soup.  This soup was made by her beautiful hands to heal him when he was sick.  He''d made so many things over the years, from traps to treasure chambers, but never had anyone made something for him.


    Something wet made his eyelashes heavy.  He blinked, realizing his eyes were tearing up.  This human body was so strange, doing things of its own accord with no care for what the person wanted.


    "Why don''t we go sit down?" Hazel led him back into the front room of the cafe where there was a single table set up for dining.  She eased herself into a creaky chair and motioned for him to do the same.  "So how''s Dave doing anyway?  He was supposed to stop back so I could make him a new sandwich."


    "He''s stressed out, like usual, but doing well."  Or at least, he would be until he realized Cole had left his post.  He winced, hoping the satyr wouldn''t be too upset.  "I''ll make sure he comes for that sandwich soon."


    "Thanks."


    Hazel dipped her spoon into the bowl, blowing on the soup.  Cole mimicked her movements.  Steam curled around his face as he finally ate his first bite of soup.  Warmth traveled from his spoon, down his throat, and spread through his entire body like he was being enveloped by something cozy and comforting.  The broth was rich, full of flavors he didn''t recognize, but it paired perfectly with the chunks of vegetables.


    He couldn''t describe it, but he wanted more.  He ate spoonful after spoonful, eventually giving up and drinking straight from the bowl.  This soup was absolutely delicious!  How had he been missing something so wonderful this whole time?  It was like a door to flavor had been opened and now no amount of coal or wood would satisfy his flames.  He wanted food, real food, and as much of it as he could get.


    His body seemed to relax, as if the soup was unraveling tension he didn''t even know he had.  If this was the power of a good meal, then he had done the adventurers a horrible disservice by making food tasteless.  If only somebody had told him...


    A soft laugh pulled him from his thoughts as Hazel smiled at him.  "There''s more, if you want."


    "Absolutely," he said, rushing to pour more of this golden soup into his bowl.  "Thank you for making such a fine meal.  I will cherish it forever."


    "Well, you look better at least," she mumbled, hiding behind her bowl.  "That''s good."


    Her cheeks had a pretty pink hue to them.  Was that...a blush?


    That fluttering in his chest was back again.  It always happened at the worst times!  He busied himself with eating until his stomach felt nice and full.  It was a satisfying feeling, one he hoped to feel again soon.  He sighed, setting his empty bowl down.


    "That was wonderful," he said as a fire slime started nudging his leg.  He tried to shoo it away, but that only drew another slime his way.  "What do you want?"


    "They probably just want attention." Hazel stood up, moving toward the slimes.  Her fingers hovered over one of their flames.  "How can they be hot enough to cook soup one minute and then cool enough to touch the next?"


    She set her hand down on the slime''s head, petting it cautiously, eyes full of wonder.  Her entire face lit up when she was curious about something and it was so much nicer seeing it in person like this.  Cole leaned forward, petting a slime as well.


    "You really love these slimes, don''t you?" he asked.  "What drew you to them?"


    She sat down cross-legged on the floor, drawing a slime into her lap as she pet him.  "Well, the easy answer is that they''re adorable, but I think there''s more to it."  Her voice was soft, like she was sharing a secret.  "They remind me of something, or someone.  They''re small and seem insignificant to most people here, but they''re full of potential if you take the time to really see them."


    He frowned, studying the little wiggly balls of fire.  He''d obviously overlooked how important good-tasting food was to humans, but had he also overlooked the monsters?  He''d put them in place to give adventurers something to fight against, but maybe there was more to them than that.  More to everything than what he''d thought.


    That made his head hurt and he didn''t like that feeling.  He''d have to talk to Dave about it later, but for right now, he just wanted to enjoy the time he had with Hazel.  He wasn''t sure how often he''d be able to come visit like this.  The dungeon couldn''t run on autopilot for too long, not without chaos breaking out.  Or worse, Dave catching him.


    Hazel stood up, stretching her arms high to the ceiling as she let out a breath.  "Okay, time to get back to work.  I have a whole cart of goods outside.  Mind helping me carry them in?"


    "Do I mind?" He leapt out of his chair.  "Not at all!  Show me the way."


    She shook her head, smiling.  "You''re an odd one, but I kind of like it."


    A grin swept across his face so wide it hurt.  She liked his oddness.

 Chapter 22 - Decorating the Cafe

    We hauled the last of my purchases inside, filling the cafe with a strange array of treasure chests, crates, shields, empty potion bottles, and even a few clubs I had hoped would work as rolling pins.  It looked pretty ridiculous now that it was inside the cafe.


    "What was I thinking when I bought all this?" I slumped onto a crate, nudging a shield on the floor.  "Cafes are supposed to be warm and cozy, maybe even cute.  Not full of weapons."


    Cole hung a few mismatched lanterns from the ceiling, rearranging them to make a semblance of a pattern.  "It''s...unique that''s all."


    "Unique.  That''s a kind way to put it."  I laughed, shaking my head as Matcha hopped inside a treasure chest full of fabric, wiggling like he was finding just the right spot to settle down.  A small smile tugged at my lips.  "I''m sure it''ll work out.  We''re in a dungeon after all.  People can''t expect it to be nice, not like a real cafe."


    "What''s that supposed to mean?" Cole frowned.  "You don''t think the dungeon''s nice?"


    "Of course not.  It''s a dungeon." I stacked a few crates into makeshift shelves, smiling as a fire slime got close enough to one of the lanterns to light it.  The flame danced inside the glass.  "I think he wants to help."


    I nodded at the fire slime, but Cole seemed lost in thought, clutching a lantern to him without moving.


    "You okay?" I asked.


    "You really don''t like the dungeon? But it''s full of adventure and new experiences.  You get to level up and feel accomplished.  Isn''t that what everyone wants?"


    He tilted his head, his frown deepening.  It was the first time I''d seen such a serious look on his face and I honestly wasn''t sure how to respond.  I picked up the fire slime, lifting the lil'' guy up to the lanterns Cole had already hung so he could light those too.  The slime''s flames brightened as he made a happy noise, slowly filling the room with the warm glow of dozens of lanterns.


    "Well, the slimes are pretty wonderful," I admitted, "so I''m sure there''s more to like in the dungeon. I just meant that it''s not really, well, cafe-friendly, you know?  You can''t even buy a mixing bowl or a whisk."  I motioned at the crates we''d stacked into makeshift tables.  "Or furniture..."


    The fire slime was warm and toasty in my arms, but somehow didn''t burn me.  It was a pleasant feeling, like a hot water bottle or a heated blanket.  I patted his head, my fingers sliding through his flames without any harm.  These slimes really were so cool.


    "That''s fair," Cole said, hanging the lantern in his hands finally.  "So furniture would make you like the dungeon better?"


    I laughed.  "What''s with this weird conversation?  Sure, comfortable furniture would make it better.  So would a decent rolling pin.  It''s like the dungeon is only focused on fighting and slaying monsters, so there''s nothing left for a baker like me.  I am grateful I got this cool class though. I just¨C"


    The lid to Matcha''s treasure chest slammed shut, making me jump.  The slime squealed inside.  I rushed to open it as the fire slime in my arms hopped inside, nuzzling up to Matcha who''s green eyes were wide in shock.


    "Are you okay?" I asked.  "Maybe a treasure chest isn''t a good place to get cozy."


    Matcha leaned into the fire slime for a moment, then chirped and hopped out of the treasure chest.  I pulled the fabric out and let it pool on the floor for him to curl inside safely and he happily wiggled into his new makeshift bed.  Then I turned to the fire slime.


    "You''re such a nice slime," I said, patting him on the head.  "I wonder what kind of food you like?"  The slime shifted this way and that, but obviously couldn''t answer. I glanced back at Cole, since they seemed to like him so much.  "Any ideas?"Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    "Something charred?" He shrugged.  "I don''t know.  I don''t feed the slimes."


    I sighed, standing back up.  "Nobody does and it''s a real shame.  They''re so adorable."  I crossed my arms, staring at the fire slime.  He reminded me of something. I kept staring into those flames until the idea finally came.  "Marshmallows!"


    Images of golden marshmallows toasting over a fire came to mind.  The sweet sticky treat was exactly what I wanted, but how could I get marshmallows in a dungeon?  I''d need sugar, vanilla, gelatin, and corn syrup.  Maybe I could use honey instead since I had a quest to visit whatever sugarstingers were. Better yet, if I had graham crackers I could make s''mores with the chocolate I had.  Now that sounded tasty.


    I tapped my finger against my thigh, wishing I had all of those ingredients.  This was really going to become a problem as time went on.  Sure, I''d managed to find enough ingredients to cook for me and the slimes, but running a cafe was a whole different story.  I''d need so many ingredients, especially if I wanted to create any semblance of a consistent menu.


    "What''s on your mind?" Cole asked as he finished hanging the last lantern.  Warmth glowed around him, shining against his dark hair and clothes.  "Maybe I can help."


    "I just realized that I can''t really make a menu for the cafe if I don''t have a good supply of ingredients.  Simple things like milk and butter are hard to come by.  I only managed to get so much chocolate because Fiona got addicted to chocolate chip cookies, but I can''t keep relying on her."


    She''d said she purchased the chocolate from a shopkeeper in town, but when we''d stopped, they hadn''t had any anymore.  Apparently their stock changed day to day, so I couldn''t rely on that for my cafe.


    "I can help with that!" Cole grinned.  "I know just the thing.  There''s a herd of goats on floor 38 that have the best milk."


    I whistled.  "You''ve been to floor 38?  You must be pretty high-level then, huh?" When I focused on his level, a bar appeared above his head, but it was full of question marks instead of an actual level.  "Or maybe not?"


    "Uh, yeah, I am."  He smiled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "You just can''t see a level if it''s too much higher than yours."


    "Makes sense, but that doesn''t really help me. I can''t exactly hop over to floor 38 every time I need milk."


    "But you can bring a goat home with you," he said, his grin widening.  "You''ve already befriended so many monsters.  Why not a goat too?  I''m friends with them already, so it''ll be fine.  They''re practically pets."


    Something about his excitement had me more concerned than reassured, but I did want milk.  You could make so many things with milk.  Like homemade cheese!  Oh how I wanted that for my grilled cheese.  I could make it a staple of my menu, the sandwich that gave me a whole new class.


    "But, how would I even get to floor 38?" I asked.


    His face fell.  "Oh, well, um, I can take you?  We''ll go from here to there, no need to risk the other floors."  He leaned forward, lowering his voice.  "Just don''t tell anyone I did it.  This will be our little secret."


    Should I really trust a man I''d just met who apparently could skip almost 30 floors?  Not only was his level a big question mark, but so were his motives.


    "Why would you do that for me?"


    "Because your food tastes amazing," he said, closing his eyes with a sigh.  "That soup was wonderful.  I want to try everything you make, but can''t do that if you don''t have ingredients.  Plus, you''re always doing something interesting.  It''s kind of fun."


    The look on his face was so pure and innocent, like he really did just want to eat my food and have a good time.  I felt myself nodding even though it was a terrible idea.  But if the goats were like pets, it couldn''t be that bad, right?


    "You''re sure this is safe?" I asked.


    He smiled, warm and bright just like the lanterns.  "I''m sure.  I won''t let a single monster touch you."


    "Okay," I said, hoping I wouldn''t instantly regret this decision, "let''s go befriend a goat then."


    Cole pulled out a key from his menu, holding it in the air to summon a door.  Matcha bounced against my leg, but I shook my head.  If the goats were dangerous, then I didn''t want the slimes anywhere near them.


    "Sorry, not this time.  Keep the cafe safe for me, okay?"


    Matcha deflated with a big sigh.  I bent to pet him.


    "When I get back, we can harvest the tea and experiment with different kinds.  How does that sound?"


    He bounced faster, eyes bright.


    "It¡¯s a deal then.  I''ll be back as soon as I can."


    Cole offered me his hand as a door opened to a new floor.  "Ready?"


    "As I''ll ever be."


    I paused just outside the door to glance back at the cozy cafe I was about to leave.  These goats better be worth it.

 Holiday Bonus - Slime Snow Day

    Deep in the heart of the dungeon''s frozen tundra floor, a snow slime could be found tirelessly rolling snowballs.  Dozens of snowmen surrounded the slime, like a shimmering snow-clad family.  The slime finished the newest snowman, hopping on top of it with a sigh of contentment.


    A cool breeze wound through the snow-capped trees, carrying flurries of snowflakes dancing through the air.  The giant icicles hanging from the ceiling glittered like diamonds, beautiful, but deadly if they fell on you.  The slime shivered at the thought.  Those beautiful spears were a constant worry, but he''d managed to avoid them so far.


    Fresh snow fell around the slime as he wiggled, viewing the snowmen he''d created with pride.  Each one looked slightly different, from the short little snowmen to the massive ones he''d spent hours on.  The next time somebody came to visit, they''d be sure to appreciate the snowmen and think highly of the slime who made them.


    Maybe they''d even stay long enough to say hello.  The snowmen were great, but they didn''t know how to talk, and the slime was dying for some company.  He''d traveled far and wide looking for other slimes of his kind, but the tundra was more dangerous than he''d expected.  Better to stay here with his snowmen than risk the ire of the polar bears, the frost giants, or worse, the blizzard wolves.


    As if summoned by his thoughts, a howl swept across the land, far too close for the slime''s liking.  He hopped off the snowman just as icy claws swiped at him.  The slime screeched as the snowman burst apart, snow flying everywhere.  He bounced as fast as he could toward the cave he often hid in, but more blizzard wolves were joining the fray, their icy breath crystalizing his slime enough to slow him down.


    Thankfully the snowmen distracted the wolf pack just enough for the slime to slide down the mountain, gaining speed and snow as he rolled.  Those poor snowmen got ripped apart all the time.  He''d build them, admire them, and then abandon them to save his own life.  He was the lowest of the low: a snow slime who abandoned his snowy creations.


    At the base of the mountain, he shook off the extra snow he''d accumulated, and stared up at the wolves.  He''d find a way to keep his snowmen safe one day.  Maybe he''d set traps for the wolves or build them inside the cave system.


    "Ugh, what''s with this snow?" a man''s voice complained.  "It''s so damn cold I can''t feel my fingers anymore."


    The slime shrank in on himself.  The only thing worse than blizzard wolves were adventurers.  They hated this frozen tundra he called a home, always cursing the cold and grumbling, bundled up so much they couldn''t even see the beautiful landscape around them.


    "The snow''s falling harder so there''s gotta be a monster somewhere," a woman said.  "Kill it before this turns into a blizzard."


    The slime squeaked, burrowing deep into the snow.  Adventurers hated anything cold, especially little snow slimes who had a near constant flurry of snow falling around them.   He found it comforting, but they just cursed him and threw very sharp daggers.  The snow slime had respawned far too many times at the hands of cold-fearing adventurers.


    Maybe they needed more fur, like the blizzard wolves.  Then they''d enjoy the snow.


    They poked around the snow, just barely missing the slime more than once, before finally giving up.


    "Let''s just find a cave and make camp," the woman said.  "We''ll light a fire and wait out the storm."


    The slime exhaled.  He was safe for now.  Once they were gone, he leapt out of his hiding place and started making his way back up the mountain.  His little snowman family was just a pile of snow now.  He''d have to start all over.  The slime sighed.  What was the point of all this?  Why keep building something that was going to be destroyed?  Why keep letting himself get attacked?  Wasn''t there anything he could do to level up like those big boss slimes he''d seen?


    A blue box appeared in the air in front of him with words written on it.


    [Are you happy on this floor?]


    Happy?  Hmmm....the slime had never thought about that before.  The frozen tundra was gorgeous, but the dangers were great.  The slime wished he didn''t have to risk his life or be cursed at just for being cold.  It wasn''t his fault he was made of snowy slime.


    [Understood.  If you could go anywhere else, where would you go?]


    The slime tilted to the side. What other places were there to go?  All he''d known was this tundra.  Maybe somewhere hot where his cold wouldn''t be so hated would be nice.


    [Somewhere hot then. I can do that.]


    A door appeared in front of him, creaking open ominously.  The slime waited for adventurers to stomp out, but none came.  Maybe this door...was for him?  He bounced forward, entering the dark doorway slowly.  He slid down a slide, leaving an icy trail behind him as he squealed with glee.  This was pretty fun!  Not scary at all like he''d expected.


    The little slime shot out another doorway, instantly feeling overwhelming heat pushing against all sides of him.  The ground was covered in bubbling red lava, shooting up into the air at random intervals.  Giant dragons swam through it, their scales bright red.  The air was so hot it hurt to breathe and the moment the slime touched the ground, his body began to melt, sizzling against the hot stone.


    Not this hot! He¡¯d melt!


    As his body started losing shape, pooling into a snowy puddle, another message box appeared.


    [Sorry, my bad.  Maybe somewhere a little less hot...]


    Another door appeared, but the slime could barely drag himself to it as his vision turned hazy from the heat.  He panted, inching closer and closer until he finally made it to the door.  The slime sighed in relief, but the new floor wasn''t any better.  It was covered in water and the slime didn''t know how to swim!  He gurgled, sinking further and further into the depths of the salty sea.


    [Not this floor either then, huh?  Okay, let''s try again.]


    The system tried floor after terrible floor until the poor little snow slime was so exhausted he wished for the blizzard wolves and grumpy adventurers again.  Wasn''t there anywhere nice he could call home?This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.


    [Don''t give up just yet.  There''s one more place to try.]


    The slime wearily climbed a set of stone stairs, exiting the magical door onto a humid jungle floor.  It wasn''t steaming like the lava floor, but it was definitely still warmer than he was used to.  He summoned more snow to keep himself cool and gazed out at the greenery.  It was fine, but he really just wanted to go home.  Being happy was obviously asking too much.  He''d settle for a little danger as long as he had his snowmen friends.  It would be okay.


    [Look to your left.]


    The warm glow of dozens of lanterns drew his eye to a cozy little building with all different kinds of slimes hopping around together.  There were blue slimes, dirt slimes, fire slimes, and even a boss slime!  The snow slime''s eyes widened.  What kind of slime haven was this?


    [Not quite a slime haven.  A slime cafe.  Go see what you think of it.]


    The slime had no idea what a cafe was, but it sounded like an adventurer thing.  He really didn''t like those troublemakers, but it couldn''t hurt to at least take a peek.  He bounced carefully, leaving a tiny trail of snow behind him as he climbed up to peek in the windows.  A woman was inside cooking, passing little handfulls of food to a group of slimes next to her.


    The snow slime pressed up against the glass for a better look.  She was actually feeding the slimes!  Not only that, but they looked happy too.  A tea slime rested in a giant pot of tea, spinning and smiling like it was the best thing in the world.  He wanted to try that too!


    Fog clouded the glass until he couldn''t see the strange sight of an adventurer feeding slimes anymore.  He searched for another window, leaping for a peek of her patting a slime on the head and hugging it.


    His mouth dropped open.


    An adventurer was hugging a slime.


    What kind of absurd place was this?  Never in all his years had he seen such a sight and he''d been in this dungeon for a while.  As each window fogged up, he moved on to the next, watching this wonderful woman play with slimes.  He wanted more than anything to join them, but the inside of this building felt so warm and cozy that he knew deep down that they would shun him.


    Nobody wanted to be cold when they were having a good time like that.


    The slime slumped back to the ground.  This floor felt like the cruelest floor of all.  It was time to go back home.  But as he bounced away, the sound of a door opening made him freeze in place.


    "Oh hello, little one," a woman''s voice said.  "I don''t think I''ve seen you around before.  My name''s Hazel.  Is that snow?"


    He quivered, just waiting for the inevitable attack, but none came.  He peeked back to find the woman, Hazel, kneeling in the doorway, holding her hand out to catch snowflakes with a big smile on her face.


    "Everyone, come say hi to our new little snow friend."  Her voice was warm, but her words made no sense.  "The snow feels so refreshing!"


    His eyes widened.  That''s exactly what he thought too!  He felt himself bouncing without meaning to, excitement causing even more snow to fall.  One of the fire slimes got close enough that the snow turned to steam.  The fire slime leapt back, but then wiggled and started steaming other bits of snow like it was a fun game.


    Hazel laughed.  "You like the snow too, huh?"


    This had to be a dream.  Nobody liked the snow, not a single adventurer the slime had ever met.


    [This adventurer is different.  She''s kind and full of curiosity when it comes to slimes.  Give her a chance and you''ll see.]


    The system had gotten the slime into some rough spots during this adventure, but it had always gotten him back to safety too.  He should trust it one last time and see just what kind of woman she was.  He inched closer, nudging up against her outstretched hand.


    "Oh, you are cold," she said, jerking her hand back and shaking it, "give me a minute."


    She abandoned the slime, walking back into that warm and cozy cafe of hers.  He waited, bouncing slowly, as time stretched on.  When she eventually came back, she had a piece of fabric in her hands.


    "Here you go, a scarf just for you."  She wrapped the white fabric around him, tying it at the corner.  "I hope you like it."


    The slime blinked, not sure what to do.  He''d never had clothing before, but the fabric was so soft against his slime that he couldn''t help but wiggle to feel it slide across his body.  It was warm too, just enough to make him feel like he could summon even more snow around them.  Beautiful snowflakes appeared in the air, falling down around Hazel in big piles.


    Her smile widened.  "I think that means you like it.  I''m glad."


    The tea slime from earlier hopped outside, staring at the snow quizzically before bouncing into it.  The slime''s eyes widened and he made a happy trilling noise.  He rolled around, gathering snow around himself like he was making a slime snowman.


    The snow slime giggled, showing the tea slime how to roll snowballs without getting stuck inside them.  Together they created a new snowman, one worthy of this wonderful slime haven.  Hazel added coal for eyes and a mouth, giving the snowman far more life than the snow slime''s ever had.


    The other slimes bounced over, making their own snow art.  The big boss slime opened his mouth to catch some falling snowflakes, grinning and wiggling every time he got one.  Warmth surrounded the snow slime, not just from the new scarf that had so kindly been given to him, but from the joy of playing in the snow with friends.  He''d never thought he''d get to experience such a thing.


    "Anyone want something to eat?" Hazel asked as she set plates of cookies on the ground.  "I''ve got hot cocoa too if anyone''s cold."


    Her cheeks were rosy from the chill air, but her smile hadn''t dimmed for a moment.  The snow slime cautiously ate a cookie.  It tasted sweet and delicious!  He moved to grab another one, but paused.  He shouldn''t be greedy and risk these new friends he''d found.


    "It''s okay," Hazel said with a smile as she pushed the cookies his way.  "I''ve got more than enough and if we run out, I''ll just make more."


    The snow slime dared to take another cookie.  This one was filled with spices that filled him with warmth.  Another one tasted cool and minty.  Every cookie was like a new adventure, full of deliciousness.  When the plate was empty, Hazel smiled and nudged a hot drink toward him.  The slime tried that too, slurping it up in one big gulp.


    Warmth spread through his slime like never before and he couldn''t help but smile and create even more snow out of sheer joy.


    Hazel smiled.  "It''s called hot cocoa with little marshmallows.  You can have another if you want."


    And so the slime had another, drinking the sweet chocolate until he was full.  Never had he been so welcomed before, with good food and slimes to play with.  As the other slimes slid around on streaks of ice, rolling around in the snow with delightful chitters and giggles, the snow slime thanked the system for bringing him to such a kind place.


    The woman patted his head and he could feel her hands shaking a bit.  She rubbed her arms, looking just like those other adventurers when they were cold.  She gazed out at the snow, smiling.


    "This reminds me of something," she said softly.  "I''m not sure what, but it makes me happy.  I feel like we should go inside and decorate, make this day really special.  It''s the first snow I''ve seen here after all."


    The first snow?  That did seem like a good thing to celebrate, but he felt himself hovering outside the door.  Was it really okay for him to go inside and ruin everything with his cold?


    Hazel turned back.  "You''re safe here and you can stay as long as you want.  Maybe we could even try making snow cones or..."  Her eyes lit up.  "I bet we could make ice cream!  With your snow, we could keep it cold for as long as we wanted.  Ohhhh, I bet you''ll love it."


    Little balls of ice pooled around his eyes.  She not only wanted him to be safe and warm, but she could make use of his snow too?  His cold could actually help somebody?  Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought to ask for that when the system asked if he was happy.  Thank you for showing me such a welcoming place, system.


    [You''re welcome.  Take care of her and yourself.]


    Take care of her he would.  For as long as his slime life lasted, he would stay with this woman and make all the snow she wanted.  He''d finally found a place to belong.  A place he could call home.

 Chapter 23 - Adorable, but Terrifying

    The slide between floors was extra twisty this time, going on so long that I lost the adrenaline rush of falling and was now just zooming along behind Cole who couldn''t stop giggling like he was having the time of his life. I shook my head.  He really was an odd duck, but I might be even odder for actually following him.


    While it would be great to have a reliable source of milk for the cafe, going to floor 38 on what felt like a whim might be pushing it a bit too far.  I didn''t even have a plan, let alone any idea what to expect besides goats.  Cole had just sounded so confident, but the longer this slide went on, the more worried I got.


    Were adventurers even supposed to be able to skip floors like this?  If we could, why hadn''t Fiona tried it before?  As far as I knew, she''d been powering through each floor in perfect order.  So how could Cole bring me along like it was nothing?


    A door opened and we shot out into the foggy air of a new dungeon floor.  My heart pounded as a rocky cliffside got closer and closer.  I clamped down on the scream trying to escape.  Last time this happened, a giant slime had broken my fall, but there was nothing but golden grass below us now.


    Golden grass and goats.


    Massive goats that got bigger and bigger as we fell.  My chest tightened and I squeezed my eyes closed.  I should have cooked a feast for goats this size instead of just the odds and ends I had in my inventory.  What did goats even like to eat?  Grass?  Hay?  If Cole hadn''t actually tamed these goats like he''d implied, then this was all going to go horribly wrong...


    "It''s fine!" Cole called out as he took my hand, obviously misunderstanding my worry.  "The Dungeon would never let you fall."


    His skin was smooth against mine as he pulled me to him.  Time seemed to slow down as I opened my eyes, seeing nothing but his innocent little grin.  He was so full of life and excitement, like everything was a fun new experience.  Time might not have been slowing for real, but our descent sure was as we gracefully landed in golden grass that came up to my waist.


    "See?  Nothing to worry about."  He squeezed my hand before letting it go and turning to the biggest goat in the area who towered over us by a good ten feet at least.  "Hello, friend."


    The goat''s shaggy fur was a mix of dark brown and cream, with a shimmer of gold when it caught the light just right.  His massive horns curled behind his head, etched with cracks of golden light that pulsed faintly, like a majestic power that was too much for the goat to fully contain.  When he moved, the light seemed to ripple, casting faint patterns on the jagged cliffsides that stretched high to the sky around us.


    The goat''s eyes had that same golden glow, piercing and regal, as if daring us to challenge him.  He stood motionless, an unyielding force of nature that was just waiting for us to make the first move.


    I gulped, resisting the urge to step back.  Or bow.  This goat gave off the aura of a primal nature god, so falling to the ground and begging forgiveness for intruding on his domain felt like the appropriate answer here.


    Too bad Cole was already rushing towards him, a big goofy smile on his face.  "How have you been, old friend?  It''s been ages since we had a good chat."


    The goat lowered his head, eyes narrowing as his hooves scraped big ruts in the ground.  This time I did back up.  No milk was worth facing off against that beast at my low level of 5.


    "Maybe we should go..."


    "No way, we haven''t even gotten the milk yet."  Cole scoffed.  "Heliandor and I go way back, it''s fine."


    Cole seemed nice enough, but I''d just met him and this whole plan, if you could even call it that, seemed pretty foolhardy.  I glanced at his level, once again seeing the ??? that gave me no information at all.  The goat''s level shone bright: Level 39 Solhorn Goat.


    Something bumped against my leg and I jerked away, yelping.  A tiny goat gnawed on my apron, digging around in the pockets like they were full of treats.  The goat pulled out a sprig of thyme, chewing it before bleating softly.


    This had to be fate: we''d come here for a goat and within moments, one had literally bumped right into me.  Her fur was light yellow, as if it hadn''t grown into the warm golden brown hues of the other goats yet. I carefully patted her on the head, avoiding the adorably tiny horns poking out of her fur.


    "Hello there," I whispered, "aren''t you an adorable little goat?"  She bumped against my leg again, chewing on my apron like it would be just as tasty as the thyme.  I stuffed my hands in my pockets, but they were empty. "Sorry, that''s all I had."


    As the little goat hunted for more treats, the eerie bleating of dozens of other goats carried on the wind like a song coming from all directions.  The cliffs loomed over me with glints of golden eyes sparking in their shadows.  This one little goat was fine, but dozens of others?


    Cole was still chatting with the one he''d called Heliandor.  "So, after hearing all that, you see why I need to borrow a goat, right?  Her food is just amazing!  And I promise we''ll take good care of any goat you give us."The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.


    Could Heliandor actually understand Cole?  If it was as easy as asking for a milking goat, then there was no reason to worry.  Except, the giant Solhorn was lowering his head and rushing forward.  If he did understand, his answer was obviously no.


    "Get out of there!" I shouted, but it was too late.


    Heliandor headbutted Cole with those terrifying horns of his.  I gasped as Cole flew through the air, collapsing in the tall grass.


    I wanted to rush to check on him, but my legs were shaking as the Solhorn turned his golden gaze on me.  Power rolled off the goat in waves, making me shiver as the others climbed down the rocks to join their master.


    "I''m fine!" Cole shouted as he sat up, brushing grass off his clothes like getting headbutted by a goat god monster meant nothing to him.  "Huh, maybe he doesn''t recognize me.  I mean, I guess I do look a bit different, but still.  How could he do that?"


    "Is that really important right now?"  I let out a breath, almost collapsing on the ground myself.  "You idiot, let''s go back to the cafe and forget this whole plan.  That goat obviously doesn''t think you''re friends."


    Cole tilted his head, studying the monstrous Solhorn.  "Maybe that''s just how goats say hello?"


    The beast pawed the ground again, looking like he was getting ready to headbutt Cole a second time since the first obviously hadn''t left enough of an impression.  Cole''s curiosity was going to get him killed.  I forced my legs to move, hurrying over to the fool.


    "That is not how goats say hello.  It''s how they say goodbye." I grabbed his arm, hauling him up.  "Take the hint and let''s get out of here."


    Cole''s eyes widened.  "You speak goat?"


    I sighed, pushing him to get moving.  "Yup and I''ll tell you all about it once we''re back in the cafe."


    "But your milk..."


    "Screw the milk. We''ll come back later."


    To run a cafe properly, I needed a steady source of ingredients.  Yes, I wanted milk to make cheese and pudding and all sorts of other things, but food wasn''t worth anyone''s life.  I took a deep breath, resigning myself to the little bits of milk and cheese I could get from the safe zone.


    "If you''re sure." Cole glanced back at the Solhorn with sad eyes.  "Until next time, old friend."


    The Solhorn made a noise that sounded an awful lot like a snort, then went back to grazing on the tall golden grass as if we''d never been there.  I didn''t like giving up on something so important, but coming back later was a valid plan.  I''d figure out what food goats loved the most and make some glorious treats that would be sure to impress the Solhorns.  It was the only option we had right now....right?


    Except, the little goat from earlier was following me, practically begging for me to take her with us.  It would be so easy to just open a door and flee before that monster even knew what we were doing.


    Memories of the crispy cluckers chasing me down after their chick was gobbled up by Matcha came to mind.  Messing with baby monsters was probably a terrible idea.


    "I''m sorry, but you can''t come with us," I said softly.  "I don''t want to be part of a kidnapping.  Not with that big guy looking all terrifying."


    The little goat bleated at me, sniffing my hands like the scent of herbs was still on them.  She hopped, bouncing in such a similar way to the slimes that my good judgement started fading.  The goat was only level 10, which was perfectly acceptable for my floor...


    "Okay, fine, but we have to be quick about it." I glanced at Cole.  "Think you can distract him for a bit?"


    Cole nodded.  "Definitely.  Somebody''s gotta remind Heliandor who''s the boss around here."


    I bit my lip.  No way was Cole the boss of that goat or any other monster here.  Even the slimes didn''t listen to him.  I pulled the cafe''s key from my inventory.  It was still warm, like it had been sitting by a fire.  I smiled, grasping it tightly.  Time to go home.  The little goat bumped the back of my legs, urging me to go through with this crazy new plan.


    I patted her head, laughing, but froze when a high-pitched bleat shook the air, rumbling the ground so much I almost fell over.  Heliandor charged, racing towards us faster than I could summon a door.  Did he know I was about to take a goat home with me?  I dropped my hand, backing away from the adorable little goat.


    "I''m not kidnapping her, I swear!  She''s all yours!"  I dropped the key in shock, losing it in the tall grass.  The little goat just kept hopping next to me, bleating back at Heliandor as if egging him on.  "Hey!  I gave you herbs!"


    "Time to prove my friendship."  Cole pulled me behind him, cracking his knuckles as he stood firm in front of the charging monster.  "Heliandor!  Sit!"


    I gaped at him.  "Sit?  Seriously?"


    Every goat in the area besides Heliandor plopped down on their backside with a soft thud.  I blinked, staring at the ridiculous sight of so many goats sitting in the grass.  The little one beside me was too short to even see over the swaying golden fronds.


    Huh, so Cole really was a friend of the goats.  I had not seen that coming.


    Heliandor bellowed, his voice shaking the very air as the golden glow spilled out of his horns like sunlight.  The light got brighter and brighter, until I had no choice but to squeeze my eyes shut.


    "Okay, maybe we''re not friends," Cole muttered darkly.  "Hazel, go back to the cafe without me.  I''ll be there as soon as I can."


    "I can''t just¨C"


    "Go!"


    I fumbled for the key in the grass, accidentally grabbing the little goat''s hooves.  "Sorry."


    When I finally found the key, I stumbled up to summon a door, but the light was searing my eyelids and tears were welling up.  I brushed them away, stumbling as I moved, trying to escape the light just for a moment.  It felt like I was moving in circles though, getting further and further away from Cole.


    "Be careful!" he shouted right before my foot met open air and the tall grass disappeared.  Air whooshed around me as I fell off the very cliffs the goats had been climbing on earlier.


    Damn goats. Adorable, but terrifying.


    This probably would have gone better if I''d brought cookies.

 Chapter 24 - Back to the Beginning

    Breathing was easier than I''d expected after dying.  I even felt good too, like my body was being pillowed by soft grass.  A familiar smokey campfire scent filled the air.  My eyes snapped open.  I was in a small clearing surrounded by fog on three sides and a mountain on the other.  A table full of very familiar-looking weapons stood nearby, along with monster pens.


    This was the starting area!


    I jerked up.  How did I get here?  The last thing I remembered was that little goat searching my pockets for treats.  Wait, no, something came after that.  I think I fell...off a cliff?


    "Seriously, Hazel?  Floor 38??" Dave''s irritation was clear even from across the clearing.  I flopped back onto the grass, closing my eyes as he walked closer.  "You''re only level 5.  How''d you even get to that floor?"


    "Some weird guy took me."  I winced; that sounded ridiculous even to me.  I put a hand over my eyes, the feeling of falling off that cliff still fresh in my mind.  "Did I...die?"


    "Almost, but you were transported back here the moment before you would have hit the ground."  The fabric of Dave''s clothes rustled as he knelt by my side.  "Do you think that maybe it''s time to take this dungeon seriously?  I''ll admit, I''ve been impressed by how far you''ve gotten with cookies and kindness, but you can''t win over every monster like that.  You''ll need to fight if you really want to get out of the dungeon."


    A few hours ago, I''d have been confident in the baking-my-way-through-the-dungeon plan, but Heliandor''s power had been overwhelming.  How could I ever win over a monster like that just with food?


    Dave patted me on the shoulder.  "Let''s start with your stats and use the time we''ve got to make a plan."


    "Wait, I can''t just go back to the cafe?" I opened my eyes, sitting up so quickly that I almost bumped into him.  "How long am I stuck here?"


    "You''re not stuck here," Dave snapped, standing up to pace.  "Why do adventurers always say that when I''m offering to help them?  They die, I try to help them not die again, and they complain.  Every.  Single.  Time.  Why do I even bother?"


    Oof.  Looks like I''d hit a nerve there.  Going through my stats wasn''t a terrible idea, honestly, especially if he could give me some pointers.


    "Sorry, Dave.  I''d love any help you can give me."  I smiled, sitting cross-legged and opening my menu.  "Where do you want to start?"


    He scratched his horns, studying me.  After sitting patiently for a while, he sighed.  "Fine, show me your stat screen."


    "And how do I do that?" I asked.  "I thought only I could see my menu."


    "Just think about showing it to me and I''ll see it."  Dave sat down next to me as I did just that, his eyes skimming my stats.


    [Culinary Mage: Level 5]


    [Agility: 1]


    [Charisma: 3]


    [Endurance: 4]


    [Intelligence: 1]


    [Mana: 7]


    [Strength: 1]


    [Available Stat Points: 2]


    [Available Skill Points: 0]


    "Well, you''re set for mana and okay on endurance, but what''s with this single strength and agility?" Dave laughed, eying me sideways.  "No wonder you lost to a baby goat."


    I crossed my arms.  "I did not lose to a goat.  I lost to a cliff."


    "Riiiight.  You know what would help with that?" Dave raised an eyebrow.  "Agility."


    I did have extra stat points I hadn''t used yet, but agility felt like a waste.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.


    "That won''t really help with baking though," I said softly.


    "I''m sure it can still help."  Dave tapped his thigh.  "Haven''t you ever dropped a tray of cookies before?  Or bumped against a hot stove and burnt yourself?"


    "Wait, agility can fix my clumsiness??" I tapped the agility button to up it by one.  "Sold."


    He laughed.  "And what about strength?  I bet those big bags of flour get annoying to carry sometimes."


    "True, but shouldn''t I put more into mana or charisma?"


    "Charisma''s nice," he said slowly, "but do you even know how to use it?"


    "Haven''t I been charming you this whole time?"


    Dave snorted.  "Hardly.  You''ve actually been giving me a headache since you got here."


    "Fine, then I''ll use some charisma now."  I cleared my throat, sitting up straighter.  "Oh wise and wonderful Dave, please give me more stat points so I can level everything you tell me to all at once."


    "Yeah, I''m not feeling it."  He might have said that, but he was smiling just a bit.  "Charisma isn''t something you can force.  Sure, the stat helps, but it''s more like it boosts your sincerity.  Those moments where people would be more likely to side with you in the first place become stronger.  It''s almost like people can feel your intentions, your heart."


    "Is that how I managed to win over tough monsters even with lower level food?  Like the slime boss?"


    Dave nodded.  "Yup, the monster could probably sense your desire to protect it."


    "Well that''s awesome.  I should put even more into charisma then."


    "Wait!" He grabbed my arm before I could touch anything.  "Honestly, you really should have at least a little bit of strength.  As is, you''d be a goner if a monster sneezed on you."


    I laughed.  "Well thankfully that hasn''t happened yet, but I see your point.  I''ll up my strength for now and work on my charisma later.  You know, you''re honestly a really good teacher.  I''m sorry so many people treat you like a hassle or a tutorial they want to skip over.  You deserve better than that."


    He dropped his hands, eyes wide.  "Thank you.  That''s so kind¨Cwait, no, you''re trying to use charisma right now, aren''t you?"


    "Guilty," I held my hands up, grinning.  "This training thing is kind of fun.  I appreciate your help."


    Dave shook his head, sighing.  "At least you''re a fast learner.  I don''t agree with your non-violent approach, but if you''re determined to keep doing it, try to balance your stats a bit better.  That way you won''t be completely useless if you need to run away or defend yourself."


    "Yes, sir."  I mock saluted.  "I''ll be more careful, honestly.  Anything else we should go over?"


    "Not right now, no.  Just keep working hard and leveling up."  He paused, frowning.  "Actually, let''s go back to the whole goat fiasco.  You said a strange adventurer brought you to floor 38?  Skipping floors like that shouldn''t be possible."


    I shrugged.  "He just opened a door and poof, we were there.  I think you know him actually.  His name''s Cole and he said he works with you."


    Dave''s eyebrows shot up. "With me?  I''ve never heard of him before."


    "Long black hair, dark clothes, crazy high level."  I tilted my head.  "I actually couldn''t see his level now that I think about it.  It was just question marks."


    "Was he, by any chance, super excited to try your cooking?" Dave asked, sighing when I nodded, muttering something about a damn core.  "I think I know who you''re talking about.  Though I didn''t think he''d ever be quite that irresponsible.  I''m really sorry he put you in harm''s way."


    "I don''t think he meant to.  He seemed to think the Solhorns would be friendly towards him, but then Heliandor headbutted him into a bush and that all kind of fell apart."


    Dave barked out a laugh, then slapped a hand over his mouth.  "Sorry, that image is just too hilarious.  A goat headbutted him?"


    "Yup, he flew right through the air too, but got back up like it was nothing."


    "I guess he''s already been punished then," Dave said, still laughing.  "But why don''t we head back to your cafe so I can have a little chat with him anyway?"


    I raised an eyebrow.  "You want to come to my cafe?"


    "Well, yeah?  You do still owe me lunch..."  His gaze dropped to the ground.  "Unless you were just being polite when you offered that?  Or maybe trying to use me?"


    "Of course not!"  Man, what kind of life did this satyr live?  If that''s how people usually treated him, then I''d have to show him what actual kindness looked like.  "Let''s go.  I''ll make you the best sandwich ever.  One worthy of such a good teacher."


    "I mean, you did steal my sandwich, so I guess it makes sense to make a new one.  Thank you."  His voice was soft and heartfelt, as if nobody had ever offered him something like that before.  It made my heart hurt.


    "Why do you keep working here if nobody seems to appreciate you?"


    His hands clenched.  I''d asked the question without really thinking about it, but it was probably something I had no business asking. I had caused nothing but trouble for him, so what gave me the right to dig into his personal life?


    "Nevermind, I''m sure everyone''s worried about me so we should get back."  I pulled out the cafe''s key and summoned a door, looping my arm through Dave''s.  "You''re welcome to stay as long as you want."


    His eyes widened as I tugged him through the door.  If my cafe could give him even a little bit of joy, then I''d gladly bake all the food he wanted.  He''d given me good advice and I needed to take it seriously. I couldn''t keep hoping I''d get out of here on sheer optimism.  I had to focus and level up.  Make that cafe of mine a true training ground to improve my skills so that one day I''d be strong enough to befriend that Solhorn goat and get out of here.


    Plus, the slimes would love all the treats I''d have to bake in the name of training.  Things were about to get a whole lot tastier.