《The Seventh Wife》


 Prologue

    I remember the funeral of Lord Ashiro-han''s sixth wife very clearly. My mother had taken me, because Father had been home ill, and could not risk standing outside in the cold, wet air while he was ill. I looked up at Mother, trying to spot a glimpse of her face behind the wood mask she wore. I could barely see through my mask, and, despite the chill of the late autumn, my face was growing uncomfortably hot.


    The drums from the rooftops of the city beat a single note repeatedly in unison, their sound carrying through the still air. I wanted to take off my mask, but to do so would be a sacrilege to the ceremony, and I would risk having the soul of the deceased wife try and seize my little body instead of moving on to Agi-a like all souls are supposed to do at their passing.


    "Yoshi-han," I said to my brother, who was standing behind me with his hands on my shoulders, "why did Lord Ashiro-han take a sixth wife when he knew they were all going to die?"


    "Hush, Yori," Mother said. "That is no way to speak at a funeral."


    "But Mother, surely he would not have so many wives if he knew they were all to die."


    Mother made a sign with her fingers¡ªthe first two fingers of her left hand crossed, and the tip of the first finger of her right hand touching them¡ªthat immediately silenced me. To speak under the summon of the spirit of silence would get me in much trouble. I lowered my head, looking back over the railing of the balcony at the heads of the peasants in the street below, clutching the lilies I had to my breast. They all wore their masks, the blank pieces of wood marking their status, making it seem like an army of faceless ghosts had invaded my home city.


    The seven priest of our city''s temple led the procession; each one carried a lantern on a long pole that they held above their heads, humming as they prepared to sing the Guiding Song. Mother made the sign over my head¡ªreversing the fingers¡ªto rid the spirit of silence so I could sing.


    I had only been to two funerals in my life¡ªmy mother''s mother, and my father''s father¡ªbut I knew the words of the Guiding Song well enough to sing as the priests opened their mouths and began the tune.


    "Little soul, like a light


    Wandering child


    You have passed your gates


    Of mortal flesh


    Carry on, little light


    Wandering firefly


    Candle flame through the night


    To Agi-a, your home"


    I looked over at Mother to see her reaching up under her mask, and I remembered that Lord Ashiro-han''s wife had been her childhood friend.


    The procession continued on its way to the temple on the hill where the dead woman''s soul would be laid to rest. Long lines of Lord Ashiro-han''s soldiers followed the priests, all on black horses, each one with his right hand over his heart in a sign of mourning. I wondered if they felt sadness any longer, or if the sixth funeral for them to attend in a matter of ten years left them with a feeling of emptiness. I could see nothing of their faces or the masks they wore over the tops of their plumed helms.Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    Next were the servants of Lord Ashiro-han''s house. There were so many of them that I hurt my brain trying to imagine how he went about paying them. I wondered if his house ever felt crowded.


    The servants all wore masks and black robes, making it difficult to see which were the men and which were the women.


    "Yori, get away from the edge," Yoshi-han said. "You''ll fall."


    I took a step back, throwing a glare at Yoshi that I hoped he could see in my eyes. He wasn''t looking at me. I was eleven, yet he still treated me as a baby.


    I looked back down, watching as the last of the servants passed through. Seven generals of Lord Ashiro-han surrounded the horse of the lord himself, but the lord did not ride atop his horse. He walked by foot, leading the horse, which had a small wooden box strapped to the saddle, and a lantern hanging from either side as well. I knew, without explanation, that the box contained the ashes of the sixth wife.


    The deceased were cremated to prevent their souls from attempting to return to their bodies.


    Everyone was to bow when Lord Ashiro-han passed through. Yoshi put his hand on the back of my head to make me bow; I swatted his hand away and bowed myself, still able to see the procession from my vantage point.


    We were supposed to bow with our eyes away from those we revered, but I let my eyes wander to the lord. A great wave of sadness hit me, so strong I fell to my knees, dropping the lilies. I heard a sound from Mother; something like a gasp.


    I looked back at her and Yoshi, wondering if they had felt the overpowering sadness like I had, but they were still standing, Mother reaching for me to help me up. I got up myself, weak from the feeling, gathering the lilies back into my hands.


    I gasped myself as I rose, seeing the procession below. Lord Ashiro-han was looking up as he approached the building from which my family and I watched the funeral. As I stared, not bowing, my eyes instead rooted to the snarling bronze mask that Lord Ashiro-han wore, a shiver ran through me when I realized that he was staring at me.


    The lilies slipped through my fingers once more, and I struggled to catch them, but they drifted down over the edge of the balcony. Lord Ashiro-han reached out a hand and caught one, his face still raised to mine. I clutched the railing as I watched him pause for a moment, tucking the lily into the cord that held his armor together, over his heart. He looked at me one last time before facing ahead and continuing on his walk to the temple.


    "Mother, he looked at me!" I cried.


    "Lower your voice," Mother commanded.


    "He did!"


    "You dropped the lilies," Yoshi said. "He looked up because of that."


    "I dropped them because he looked at me. He was staring at me."


    "Nonsense," Mother said. "He would not have looked up at you. A lord does not look up at his subjects."


    Despite the words of my mother and brother, I knew in my heart that Lord Ashiro-han had looked at me¡ªhad looked directly at me. For what reason, I didn''t know.


    Even when we returned home and finally pulled off our masks, I was convinced that Lord Ashiro-han had looked at me and no-one else. As I prepared broth to bring father while he rested, I wondered about telling him, but decided against it. It would have been foolish to tell it to an ill man.


    Had Lord Ashiro-han looked at me because of the wave of sadness? Had he felt it hit me, and looked at me because he found someone who had felt such a strong emotion?


    Whatever it was, it was my memory to keep. I vowed to never forget it.

 Chapter One

    Seven years later


    I leaned on the stone wall that looked out over the sea, watching the fishing boats bob on the water, pulling my shawl tighter around myself. The chill of the remaining winter seeped through my clothes, and frost still crunched under my feet.


    I knew Mother would scold me for waking early simply to go wandering the city, but I wanted to watch the morning come in, bright red and pink as the sun''s rays pierced the thin air. It was my favorite time of day, and in the winter, I felt that the sunrise and sunset were more majestic and breathtaking than any other time of the year. Along the east coast in the winter, the clouds that brought snow often covered the sun, and I made any attempt I could to watch the sun when the sky was clear.


    I could see the sun rising over the sea, the horizon a pale pink as the sun made its slow ascent. The fishing boats were black against the light in the sky, the naked branches of the trees that lined the stone walk stretching up and into my point of view. I felt as if I was staring through cracked glass at the sunrise, but it made it no less beautiful. The sky was turning a brilliant shade of orange, the clouds tainted pink, a thousand fractals of orange light glittering on the frigid surface of the water.


    I let out a breath, the cloud rising above my head like the smoke of Father''s pipe, and I remembered that I was out without Mother''s permission. She treated me like I was still a small child, and that I would have gotten into serious trouble being a young woman wandering about the city while it was still dark. Being the daughter of the wealthiest merchant on the east coast would not keep me from harm, as Mother was always reminding me, but I didn''t listen to her.


    That was when I was young, and thought I knew better than Mother.


    "Out for the sunrise, are you?"


    I turned, not surprised at the voice, for I had heard the feet crunching across the frost on the stone walk. I bowed low, recognizing the man who had approached me.


    "Good morning, Yori," he said.


    I straightened, but kept my eyes lowered, pointed at the man''s feet. While I was the daughter of a merchant, and still held some authority over the simple peasants of the city, I, a woman, was below even my father''s personal accountant, who now stood before me.


    "I wish you a good morning too, Itsua-han," I said.


    "From what I recall, you''re not supposed to be out of the house."


    I bit my lip, raising my eyes a little to the hem of Itsua-han''s robe. I watched his feet come towards me, and I quickly lowered my eyes back to the stone.


    "What did you do, pay off the servant at the door?"


    I said nothing, knowing full well that that was what I did. Itsua-han came closer to me; so close I was tempted to look directly at his face.


    I heard him sigh.


    "You may look at me. You are to be my wife, after all."


    I did look up, to see that Itsua-han was not looking at me, but instead facing the direction of the sun. It was high in the sky now, casting stark shadows over the walk.


    "I wanted to see the sunset," I said. "I didn''t go far into the city."


    "When we arrive at your house, I will tell Tatsuo-han that I wanted to meet you here."


    "Yes, Itsua-han," I said.


    "And you mustn''t leave your house anymore without your parents'' permission. It will do no good for a married woman to be sneaking about without her husband knowing." He offered his arm to me, and, reluctantly, I hooked mine in his. I looked up at Itsua-han, inwardly lamenting the thought that he was to be my husband. He was only a few years younger than my father, grey already peppering his hair, though he had yet for the lines of age to appear on his face.


    I lowered my head as he led me on the way back to my house. It wasn''t my decision for the marriage, anyway. Father and Mother knew that it was a marriage of financial benefit, rather than love. People hardly got married for love anyway. Mother was but a child when she married my father, though over the years she had grown to love him. I just hoped that I would grow to love Itsua-han, if he was to be the father of my children, for I hadn''t much affection for him. Even my brother, who was already a captain in the army, had married the daughter of his general, because of the benefit of the position.


    Itsua-han had much to offer once I was married to him. While he might not have had the money for a large dowry, he was a brilliant man, and had been the one to make Father wealthy in the first place. And, the more children Itsua-han fathered, the more heirs Father would have to carry on the business and ensure the well-being of his family in years to come.


    It didn''t mean that I would be happy, or comfortable. Itsua-han had been married before, and his youngest child was older than I was. He was an old man compared to me, and I looked at him in the same way I looked at Father.


    Itsua-han led me wordlessly back on the stone path that led to my father''s house; the sun was now at a considerable height in the sky, and as we went along the raised walkway, I could hear the cityfolk rising with the sun, shouting as they opened their shops and places of business.


    I longed to have a life outside the walls of my father''s house. My wish was to be granted to me, though not in the form I desired: I was to be married off to a man nearly thirty years my senior, to be locked away behind the walls of his house, to raise his sons and daughters to marry them off to people they did not love.


    Itsua-han was handsome, at least. I was fortunate enough to not be married off to someone ugly. A girl I had known from another wealthy family had been given in marriage to the owner of the rail company, and he was a large, old, ugly man who smoked cigars in excess and always smelled of smoke and oil.


    Itsua-han seemed to notice my submersion on thought, as he stopped and released his hold on my arm, touching my face to lift it to his.


    "You are not in fair mood," he said.


    "No," I answered.


    "You are thinking about our marriage."


    I nodded. He took his hand from my face and crossed his arms, watching me like I was some sort of bird on a bush about to fly away.


    "At least you are honest."


    I turned away from him as we resumed our walk.


    "A lying wife makes for a bad wife," I said.


    "Furiko was a liar," he said.


    I shivered at the mention of his deceased wife; she had been caught with another man about ten years ago and poisoned herself out of shame. I remembered Father going to her funeral, and mentioning that Itsua-han would not grieve her death.


    "I assure you I will not deceive you," I said to Itsua-han. "Deceit isn''t in my family."


    "Blood has nothing to do with deception," Itsua-han said.


    I had no reply to this, and a deep silence fell between us. The stillness of the morning, with the sounds of the city coming awake fading away, seemed to reflect the emptiness I felt inside when I thought of Itsua-han. My relationship with him was simply one of acquaintance.


    The house waited before us, sitting on an island of stone in the midst of its sea of flower gardens, which were brittle and dead from the winter. Mother was stepping out of the door, slipping her feet into her shoes. She looked at Itsua-han and me, and her face was very cross.


    "Your father was worried about you," she said, as I paused and bowed my head to her.


    "Forgive me, Momoko-no," said Itsua-han, bowing to my mother. She returned the bow with simply a nod of her head. "I requested to walk with Yori and watch the sunrise with her."


    "Then you were not alone?"


    I went to answer, but Itsua-han did for me.


    "She was not."


    Mother gave me a disapproving look, but still let a smile come over her face. "No walls can contain Yori," she said. "The walls of my own womb could not contain her for a full nine months. Yori is not one to stay put."


    She held out a hand to Itsua-han, motioning to the house. "Will you join us for our breakfast? I am sure that Tatsuo won''t mind your company."


    "I''ll accept the invitation."


    Mother turned to me. "Go inside and see Grandmother. She has something waiting for you."


    I gave Mother a last bow before heading inside, removing my shoes and sliding the door shut behind me.


    It was cold inside the house, and as I hurried across the wood floor, past the large space set aside for the family shrine, I could smell breakfast, and the rich scent of fried fish carrying through the chilly halls.


    Grandmother was waiting in the main room, kneeling in front of the low table and reading the morning paper. I bowed to her, being sure she acknowledged my presence before I straightened myself.


    "Mother said you had something for me," I said.


    Grandmother glanced up; her eyes, as I always noticed, seemed much younger than her years, yet showed more wisdom than the eyes of even the wisest elders at the temple. She motioned for me to kneel; I did, waiting for her to speak.


    "I do indeed. You are now eighteen years of age, and to be married at the end of this month¡ªI thought it was time you received what I did when I was married."


    "It isn''t yet my wedding, Grandmother," I said.


    Grandmother let out a laugh. "But you are eighteen, and a woman. I am sure it is an appropriate gift for your birthday."


    I nodded. In my country, we did not celebrate birthdays with as much vigor as western countries did; after all, it was simply a date in passing. All one did was live, and my people did not see much of an accomplishment in making it through another year.


    There were, of course, small gifts, and I watched with eagerness as Grandmother rang the bell cord on the wall, bringing one of our servants in.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    "Fetch me the jade box from my room," she said to the girl. "And be quick about it."


    The girl bowed and backed out of the room, leaving the two of us alone again. Grandmother picked the paper back up again, but I managed to catch the headline, telling of how Lord Ashiro-han''s priest had announced that the lord was seeking a new wife.


    A shiver ran through my spine. Grandmother caught my movement, and I was sure that she knew it wasn''t from the cold.


    She showed me the paper, and I took it to read the full story. It detailed what was written in the headline, simply that Lord Ashiro-han had thought that it was time for him to take another wife, as he was yet childless and possibly growing quite old. I wondered if there would be a woman willing enough to bear the child of such an old man, especially after his six wives had all died.


    The author of the article did not seem to favor Lord Ashiro-han well, as it posed the question of what had happened to each wife. They had all died within a year of their marriage to the lord, over a span of ten years. Now, it had been seven years without him being married, making his people wonder if he had backed down from his pursuit of a woman to mother his heir.


    "Lord Ashiro-han is not wise to be looking for a wife again," Grandmother said as I set the paper down. "And a woman willing to be his wife is a fool. She will not stay alive."


    "Do you think that he is killing his wives?"


    Grandmother gave me a look that made me wish I hadn''t opened my mouth.


    "Of all the seven regions of our land," she said, "our lord seems to be the fairest of all of them. He taxes the least, for a start. I doubt he would be killing his wives."


    "But six dead in a matter of ten years¡ªit seems out of the ordinary."


    Grandmother seemed to have no answer to this. She looked up as the maid returned and took the box. Once the maid was gone, Grandmother handed me the box. I leaned forward and took it, my heart fluttering in my chest as I sat back and opened it.


    Inside was an ivory comb. I felt a blush forming in my cheeks as I lifted it out and saw the red gems set in it.


    "Grandmother," I said.


    Grandmother began to laugh. I touched my warm face in my embarrassment; an ivory comb with red jewels was worn once a married woman had lain with her husband, as it showed her as a mature woman. Once the woman had lost her fertility, it was removed, showing that she had reached the peak of maturity, like a finely aged wine at the peak of its flavor.


    "You are already making assumptions," I said.


    "You are expected to wear that, naturally," Grandmother said. "It was mine, and now it is yours."


    I quickly set the comb back into the box and shut it as Mother, Father, and Itsua-han came in. Father seated Mother against the wall, providing her the cushions she needed. Her belly was swollen with pregnancy; the midwife predicted she had about another month or so before the baby was born.


    I found myself staring at my mother''s comb in her hair, now more aware of it once I thought about wearing the comb myself. I saw Grandmother whisper something to Mother, who raised an eyebrow at me.


    I wondered if Mother had learned of my gift.


    I tried to focus on the tea that was set on the table in front of us. I rose to my feet as the maid backed away; maids did not serve tea to families, as it was the duty of the youngest member of the household, unless I was under seven.


    I poured Itsua-han''s cup first, as he was the guest, and handed it to him, my head bowed. He took the cup, and as he did so, I felt his fingers touch mine. It made me start and pull my hand away. I expected the cup to spill, but he got a hold on it. Mother and Father did not notice, but I caught Grandmother give me a warning look.


    I served her next, as she was the oldest, then Father and Mother, before serving myself and sitting down. Father served Mother honey in her tea as the maids set the food about. My stomach growled when my plate of fish, rice, and flatbread was set before me. There was not much fruit and vegetable eating during the winter, unless Father paid extra to have the produce he wanted shipped from the warmer western regions.


    Flatbread was not as common in our land until recent years, being introduced by southern traders, and it was a smart thing to eat during winter months when there was so little produce to eat. I found use in it, putting my fish inside it to eat it that way.


    "Ice-breaking Day is the sealing ceremony, isn''t it?" Grandmother asked Itsua-han. She knew the answer to the question, but I was certain she was simply trying to start a conversation. The mention of the sealing ceremony made a chill go through me, as it was the step before marriage, which made it more difficult for one to break out of the engagement.


    "It is," replied Itsua-han, lifting one of the rice balls to his mouth. I handed him a napkin for him to wipe the sticky residue from his fingers.


    "Yori is not as happy as one might expect," Itsua-han continued, throwing me a glance as he sipped his tea.


    "She is young," Father said, not looking at me. "Give her time, and she will grow to acknowledge this as a wise decision."


    "She''s had nine years to accept this," Mother said.


    "She''s stubborn, like you." Father gave Mother a smile.


    "That baby bump doesn''t look much like stubbornness," Grandmother said.


    She, Itsua-han, and my parents erupted into laughter. I ate my breakfast in silence, washing down each bite with a sip of tea. It felt so odd to not be included in a conversation that was about me, but as I was still the youngest at the table, and no-one had spoken to me, I was expected to not raise my voice to join in the conversation.


    "Yori."


    I looked up to see Grandmother looking at me.


    "Show your parents¡ªand our honored guest¡ªyour gift."


    I was reluctant to do so, but I had to honor Grandmother''s request, so I lifted the jade box to the table and opened, turning it so all could see.


    "Ah, the comb Father gave you," said my father. He pulled it out to hand it to Mother. She pulled out her own comb to compare the two.


    "Grandmother''s came from the hand of an artist, before mass production," Mother said, returning her comb to her hair. She gave mine back, and I returned it to the box. Itsua-han took the comb from the box and held it up next to my face.


    "Even this palest ivory does not compare to Yori''s face," he said.


    "Some women would die for skin as white as Yori''s," Mother said.


    "It is as white as death," Itsua-han said. He put the comb back in the box. "Almost to the point where she looks ill."


    "She is healthy enough," Mother said.


    Itsua-han turned to study me, his chin in his hand. "At least she is not too thin," he said. "Many times thinness goes hand-in-hand with infertility."


    The back of my neck burned as they spoke of the shape of my body and my fertility. It was common for parents to discuss it with the husband-to-be, but it made me feel...naked.


    "We are making Yori uncomfortable," Grandmother said. "Are you feeling alright, Yori?"


    I nodded, though my hunger had vanished.


    Father clapped his hands for the servants to clear away the meal. "It is time for us to go to the temple anyway," he said. "Perhaps we might get a blessing for Yori and Itsua."


    <hr>


    I closed my eyes and breathed in the thick smell of incense as the priest chanted out the mantra of meditation.


    Many hearts, one world


    Many gifts, one creator


    All is ours, and we are yours


    I tried to concentrate on the mantra, but my mind wandered to my marriage to Itsua-han. The Ice-breaking Day was less than a week away, and from there, the wedding. Grandmother and Mother had already commissioned my white and blue robes I was to wear for the event.


    I inwardly lamented that I was to wear such lovely robes for an unhappy event.


    I breathed the incense in again, trying to clear my head of the dark thoughts. Until the end of the month, I was to be free. I would enjoy it while it lasted, at least.


    The priest chanted the mantra the last time, before all those kneeling opened their eyes and rose. Mother could not kneel for over a minute, so she had stayed home, but I was flanked on either side by Father and Grandmother. The priest raised his hands over us for the final blessing, and petitioned those gathered together to offer the Creator their requests. As was tradition, one of the servers came down from the altar with little pieces of paper and an ink brush for us to write our requests.


    I stared at the blank piece of paper as Grandmother wrote down her request and dropped it in the server boy''s basket. Grandmother handed the brush to me, and I pondered what I wanted granted to me.


    I took a deep breath, looking about at the tapestries on the walls, before writing down my request.


    I wish not to marry Orya Itsua-han


    I rolled it up and dropped it in the basket, handing the brush to Father.


    As the crowd finished their requests, and the papers were thrown in the fire pit in the center of the altar, I watched the ashes rise to the ceiling of the temple, hoping that my request would find its way to the Creator.


    As petty as it was, it granted me some sort of comfort knowing that I had taken a small action on my part.


    <hr>


    Grandmother walked me back home, as Father and Itsua-han departed for the headquarters of Father''s business from the temple. As we hurried up the streets, our breath coming in vapor clouds from our noses, a long line of women and older girls passed us, walking with heavy steps and hanging heads, a tall and bird-like woman behind them. The women were in yellow, which was unusual for winter, with wide white belts that folded up many times on their backs to form a shape like a drum.


    "Nageeya from the nearby academy," Grandmother pointed out. I turned to look over my shoulder at them, my mouth nearly hanging open.


    I had never seen a Nageeya in person, especially on the city streets. Highly educated women, Nageeya were like a cloud floating between sky and ground, the ground being upper class like Father, and the sky being nobility like Lord Ashiro-han. Many of them were married off to lords and the lords'' sons, and some of them even found their way to the court of the emperor. Lord Ashiro-han''s first and fourth wives had been Nageeya.


    "They are probably being taken to the lord''s house to be tested," Grandmother observed. "They must want to fail very badly."


    "Why should they want that?"


    "If they pass the tests, they will be married to Lord Ashiro-han."


    Pity formed deep within me as I watched the yellow-clad women and girls round the curve of a street and vanish from sight. They were most likely going to the docks; Lord Ashiro-han''s house was accessible only by boat, as it sprawled on an island anchored in the bay.


    He hadn''t shown his face since his wife''s funeral seven years ago (though he hadn''treallyshown his face), and many of us wondered perhaps if he had withered away from grief.


    Grandmother and I returned to the house, where we found Mother in the sewing room surrounded by large swaths of fabric and three seamstresses. Mother, visibly frustrated, ordered me away, so I returned to my room, left on my own to do what I pleased.


    I could see the lord''s island from my room; I slid open my door and stepped into the balcony, squinting against the sun as I tried to spot the distant black dot. Somewhere, within the walls of that large, grand house, Lord Ashiro-han stirred from his seven-year slumber from the pursuit of a wife, and was now seeking a woman foolish enough to join with him.


    As I leaned on the railing, I remembered that time at the sixth wife''s funeral when I had dropped the lilies and he had looked up at me. Nothing could define that overwhelming sense of sadness that had gripped me, and I was sure that it had come from the lord himself.


    Did he remember that? My best guess was that he did not; I was wearing a mask, and should I ever see him again somehow, there was no way he would have recognized me.


    I studied the roofline of Lord Ashiro-han''s house, which looked very small from where I stood on the balcony.


    I heard Mother calling me, and I stepped back into my room, sliding the door to my balcony shut behind me. I hurried back downstairs to the sewing room where Mother was adding the last stitch on the white silk under-robe that was to go underneath my wedding robe.


    Mother shut the door of the sewing room and beckoned the young maid forward. "The under-robe is finished," she said. "Take off your robes, and we''ll try this on."


    I untied my wide belt and pulled off the brown robe, handing it to the maid. I removed my under-robe, shivering as the cold air came in contact with my bare skin. Mother helped me into the robe, wrapping it around me, and I shivered again as the silk, which was equally as cold, enveloped me.


    Mother took the blue cord and tied it around my waist, securing the robe. The robe was long, trailing on the floor, tiny blue flowers painted along the neck seam of it. Mother stepped back to look at me, her eyes going up and down, as I stood there shivering in the thin robe.


    "I can see right through it. Good."


    It was a good thing that Mother saw right through it, because if she could, it meant that my husband would as well once the larger robe was taken off in the privacy of our home.


    I swallowed the lump in my throat when I imagined Itsua-han standing where Mother did, his eyes going up and down as he tried to see through the thin fabric to everything that hid underneath. I did not know if he took a physical interest in me, as he had never expressed any sort of desire for me aside from his interest in sealing our two families together.


    Mother went around to the back, tugging the back of the robe down so that it showed my whole neck and the space between my shoulder blades. It was there that I would receive the tattoo of Itsua-han''s house, making it known to the world that I was his property. Once I had retired the wedding robe, only the top of the tattoo would be visible, and as a married woman, I would have to keep my hair off my neck so all could see who I belonged to.


    It also guaranteed that I could not fool a man into thinking I wasn''t married.


    The groom received a tattoo as well; for a man, it was on his forearms, bearing the house symbol of the father of his bride, as possession was passed from father to groom.


    I remembered one time when Yoshi and I had gone down to the docks to watch the men unload the ship that Father had come home on, and seeing one of the dock workers with arms rippling with muscle, his forearms covered in tattoos, and gawking because I could never have imagined a man with so many wives.


    I wondered what Lord Ashiro-han''s arms looked like with the marks of six different houses.


    Mother untied the cord and pulled the robe off me, letting me get dressed back into my warm clothes. She set the silk robe aside on a bench, and I could see the tip of the diving dolphin''s tail above the hem of her robe. The dolphin symbolized the good fortune a merchant needed for his business, and as Father''s family was tied to the sea, it made much sense for his house symbol to be so.


    I thought of the tattoo I was to receive¡ªthe red fox, symbol of a clever man, an improviser, and one who handled money, was to mark the back of my neck down between my shoulder blades. I never liked foxes, as they were thieves and deceivers, but they were smart animals.


    Mother dismissed me, and I went to Grandmother''s room to practice my singing for the bride''s solo on the day of my wedding.

 Chapter Two

    Ice-breaking Day dawned warmer than the last few days, the sun happily looking down at the frostbitten land to warm the ground and give us a tiny taste of the slowly-approaching spring. I rose and rolled up my mat, folding the cushioned futon and tucking it inside my closet. I knelt in front of my personal altar for a few minutes, offering the morning to the Creator, and lighting a candle to burn for the request that I had sent up to the Creator.


    Foolishly, I still requested that something would keep me from marrying Itsua-han, but it was the day of sealing, and that meant that there was no turning back from the wedding.


    Perhaps there might be something to put off the sealing, to stall it, and in that time, perhaps Father might find a better choice of a husband for me.


    I stood from my knees and hurried downstairs, out of the house to the bathhouse that sat above the hot spring in our garden. A maid was already waiting there, pouring scented oils into the spring-fed stone pool so that I would smell nice for the sealing which was to take place later in the afternoon.


    She helped me undress, and I sank into the hot water, letting the maid scoop water with a large shell to pour over my head. She worked a comb through my sleep-tangled hair before setting a few drops of oil on the top of my head and working it into my scalp with her fingers. She massaged the remaining oil into my hair, and rubbed soap into a sponge to help me wash.


    I let her do the work for me, closing my eyes and enjoying the feeling of her scrubbing my back and arms. She handed a fresh sponge with soap to me so I could wash the rest of my body myself, rinsing in the bubbling water. She helped me next to the still pool, which was cooler and once again scented with oil, so I could sit for ten minutes and let the scents seep in.


    The maid bowed and took her leave, leaving me alone in the dim and steamy bathhouse. It was the only work she and all the other servants were to do on Ice-breaking Day. Shops were going to be closed, and everyone all over the country¡ªpeasants, middle-class, nobility, and even the emperor himself¡ªwould sleep in and rest until the ice over the temple sanctuary doors would be broken late in the morning, welcoming the new year.


    I looked up at the beams in the ceiling of the bathhouse. At least I had one thing to look forward to when it came to the sealing¡ªthe feast that would take place at Itsua-han''s house after the ceremony. I should not have been so happy over food; I had the risk of forming weight around my breasts and waist, making me lose the tube-like figure that was very appealing during that decade. Before then, the desired appearance was the ''Reed-Stalk'' figure, which was extreme thinness, leading girls to wear bindings over their breasts and waist while they were still young and growing, and starve themselves in hopes of being thought beautiful. It had died down when people began to see the negative effects of it, but I still saw women whose bones stuck out on their hands and faces, thinking it made them beautiful.


    I had always found the ''Reed-Stalk'' figure disturbing, looking like Ago-Yan, the Bone Woman fromThe Tale of the Red Water, who grew thinner and thinner the more she ate, but was always hungry.


    When the ten-minute candle flame sputtered and died as it melted into a pile of wax, I got up from the water and went to the tiny room next to the pool room, which was where I was to dry off. The maid had already prepared a fire in the center of the room, and I sat on one of the benches, letting the heat dissolve the drops of water on my bare skin.


    I let my toes rest on the warm stone close to the fire, thinking about how some people, especially in the larger cities inland, had turned to the use of gas to heat their homes. Mother had asked Father to install gas pipes, but he was against it, after reading too much about explosions and fires gone out of hand.


    It smelled bad, anyway. It could not compare to the comforting smell of burning wood.


    Once I was dry, I rang the bell for the maid, who brought in a robe for me to wear back to the house. We went to the dressing room, where Mother and Grandmother were already up, maids combing their hair in front of the large fire pit in the floor.


    My maid combed out my hair, wrapping small sections at a time with strips of warm fabric. A maid brought in the deep blue robe painted with white flowers that I was to wear for the sealing, which was the opposite of my wedding robe. White was for brides, but blue was for womanhood.


    She helped me into it, while Grandmother and Mother commented on how lovely I looked in the robe. The white belt was tied around my waist, the long ends tied in a knot on my back, extravagant folds mimicking the shape of the lotus flower.


    The maid used two hot, flat stones to straighten my hair out and dry the last bits of dampness, knotting it at my neck with white ribbons.


    Grandmother then painted white over my entire face with rice powder mixed with water, covering my lips. She dipped a smaller brush into red paint and painted my lips, and then lined my eyes with blue for the occasion.


    Mother came forward and placed the white straw cap atop my head. I had to tilt it up to see her, as she was taller than I was, and the wide hat hung over my eyes.


    "You look almost a woman," she said, fastening the cord under my chin. "Just a few more weeks, and you will be complete."


    "She is already a woman," Grandmother said. "Look at her. She has the eyes of one."


    I was glad that the white paint hid my blushing cheeks.


    <hr>


    I looked up at the lanterns hanging from the beams that supported the outdoor pavilion. They were lit, giving a glow in the darkness that was already settling in the late hours of the afternoon. I knelt before the outdoor altar, Mother and Father on either side, waiting for Itsua-han to make his appearance. The priest knelt on the altar itself, adjusting his glasses every few seconds. He wasn''t the head of the temple, but a young man, his head freshly shaved, wearing a red collar on his robes as a sign that he was only in the first phase of the priesthood. He looked nervous, and as he glanced in my direction, I flashed him a smile, hoping it would make him comfortable.


    He turned pink instead, looking away quickly and adjusting the strap on his round hat. I regretted smiling at him¡ªpriests did not associate with women, and I was not doing him any good by looking like I was flirting.


    Itsua-han finally came through the gates of the temple garden, his breath rising in a cloud tinted yellow by the light, a cage with two doves in his hands.


    He knelt across from me, placing the doves between us. The priest pushed his glasses up and unrolled his scroll to chant the beginning words of the ceremony.


    The Creator calls us together


    One man and one woman


    United on this sacred night


    Bound together through the word


    Of the Creator


    He rolled the scroll back up, and nodded to Itsua-han. Itsua-han stood, bowing before me and my parents.


    "Matamura Tatsuo-han," he said, bowing once to my father, "Matamura Momoko-no." He bowed to my mother. "I come before you on this night to ask for the hand of your daughter."


    Mother and Father bowed their heads. "Your request is granted to you," Father said. "Yori shall be passed from my house to yours."


    I had my head bowed, and I raised my eyes to try and see Itsua-han, but I only saw from his belt down. I tried to rid my body of the sinking feeling when I heard Father''s words.


    "Orya Itsua-han," said the priest as Itsua-han returned to his knees, "and Matamura Yori-no, you have come before the Creator¡ª" He paused, his voice faltering, before he cleared his throat and continued, pushing his glasses up. "You have come before the Creator to seal this covenant in the Creator''s presence. May the blessing of the Creator and all the Seven Spirits of the Inner Circle of Paradise rest upon you, until the day on which the covenant is fulfilled by the union of man and wife." He cleared his throat again, rolling the scroll back up, before taking the lit white candle from the altar. He took my right hand, turning it palm up, and dripped hot wax into my hand. I tried not to flinch.


    He did the same to Itsua-han, and brought our hands together, placing Itsua-han''s hand over mine so the wax on our palms melted together. The priest made the blessing sign¡ªtwo fingers held over our hands, and his left hand held over his heart, bowing his head to end the ceremony.


    Itsua-han took both my hands and brought them up to his face, his lips tracing over my knuckles, sending a chill that crawled up my arms and went down my back.


    I was halfway his.


    <hr>


    I stared at my plate of seaweed-and-shellfish rolls, seated next to Itsua-han as he ate his fish and rice cakes. A maid sat in the middle of the circle table, making sure everyone''s cups were filled with rice wine, and serving from the many dishes that surrounded her. Lining the table were my family (minus Yoshi; he could not make it to the sealing, as he could hardly make the space in his busy schedule to make it to my wedding) and Itsua-han''s two youngest, his daughters Isama and Umoko, who were yet unmarried. They were beautiful women, much more beautiful than I could ever hope to be, and I caught them stealing glances at me and whispering to each other.


    I wondered if they felt any less comfortable than I did over the matter. I could not have imagined a girl a few years younger than I was marrying my father.


    Next to me, on the floor, the doves in their cage cooed. I was to keep them, feed them, and groom them, until the wedding day, where they were to be released; a symbol of the bride and groom releasing their freedom to become one with each other.


    "Are you not hungry?"


    I looked up at Itsua-han; he was looking down at me, concern on his face. I flicked my eyes towards the plate of food, and back at Itsua-han, before I shook my head.Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.


    He leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Neither am I." To my surprise, he gave me a warm smile, and I found myself smiling back at him. He patted my hand, his touch soft and gentle. For a moment, I thought that being his wife might not have been so bad. I would have a good home, at least. Mother and Father were wise in their decision.


    I looked across the table, where Grandmother was talking to Umoko. The younger woman was staring at me from the corners of her eyes, playing with a strand of hair that had come loose from the knot at the top of her head. I watched her grin and turn her attention from Grandmother to whisper in her sister''s ear.


    I felt heat in my face; I didn''t know what the girls spoke of, but the way they stared at me felt much like they were thinking ill things of me. I could almost imagine the kind of conversation they were having.


    "Look at her¡ªthe white paint on her face makes no difference. She''s white as a ghost."


    "I wonder what Father thought when he asked for her hand in marriage. She''s just a little girl compared to us. Why, Isama, she''s five years your junior."


    "She''s built like a tortoise. I''ve never seen a girl so thick. She probably eats too much."


    "She doesn''t have a slender neck like we do. What a pity."


    I was broken out of my imaginary conversation when the door of the room slid open and a young man came in, led by a maid. The man had a scroll, and he came to Father''s side, bowing very low and handing him the scroll, whispering in his ear. I could see Itsua-han setting down his cup, his thick brows drawing together as he watched Father unroll the small scroll.


    Father''s face turned white as he read the scroll; Mother leaned over to try to read it, but Father rolled it back up. He stood, coming around the table to Itsua-han, and bent over to whisper in his ear.


    "I need to speak with you outside."


    Itsua-han looked at me, then back at Father, before he rose, the two older men following the young man out of the door. It slid shut behind them, leaving the women of the house alone.


    "Did you see anything, Momoko?" Grandmother asked.


    Mother shook her head. "No, but it seemed distressing to him."


    I lowered my head to my plate, setting my chopsticks down. It fell silent inside the room; silent enough for us to hear Itsua-han''s angry words.


    "Youfool!"


    Mother looked over her shoulder at the door of the house. She stood, remaining still, as if she was debating venturing outside or not.


    The words that followed were muffled, but I could still hear the angry tones. I recognized Father''s voice, which was even and calm, and the higher-pitched voice of who I guessed was the young man.


    The door slid back open. Itsua-han came in, the scroll in his hand, his knuckles white as he gripped it. He stood before Mother and threw the scroll down on the table.


    "You are liars," he said, his eyes wandering to Grandmother as well. "All of you¡ªyou are wicked, cheating, greedy liars."


    Grandmother stood. "This is nonsense," she said. "You must not be thinking, Itsua."


    Itsua-han looked at me now, pointing a finger. I remained kneeling, knowing that if I had tried to stand, I would have fallen. My knees tingled, and I felt ill when Itsua-han''s angry eyes locked with mine.


    "I had hopes of marrying that girl. And to know that her parents are looking to cheat me out of my hope for a fruitful future makes hate form in my heart."


    Father came back into the house as Mother spoke. "You speak words of foolishness," she said.


    Itsua-han snatched up the scroll and shoved it at Mother. She took it, her look of confusion changing to horror as her eyes moved across the page. My heart hammered in my ears as Mother turned to Father.


    "This says...this says we have no money," she said. "It''s all gone."


    "Could it be a mistake?" Grandmother asked.


    The young man stepped back into the house. "It is no mistake. Tatsuo-han placed his earnings with the Notomo Family Bank."


    I looked at Father, raising a hand to my mouth. The Notomo Family were schemers and cheats; one who placed their money with them was a fool.


    "I did not do so," Father said. He took the scroll from Mother. "It says an anonymous worker of mine placed the funds with them, receiving seventyyanin return. Is there no way to get it back?"


    The young man shook his head. "I am afraid that you will have to personally go to Notomo Bank to inquire about it. Until then, you are bankrupt."


    Itsua-han came to me, grabbing me under the arm and pulling me to my feet. I cried out against the pain that shot through my shoulder as he dragged me before my parents; he let go of me, and Mother pulled me into her arms.


    "Get out of my house."


    "Itsua, it is not our fault," Mother said. "A mistake, I am sure."


    "You knew you had no money. You were trying to give me Yori so you would receive the dowry. You were trying to trick me into marrying her."


    "Please," begged Father. "At least marry her, to secure her future."


    "The law forbids the marriage of one like me to those who cannot afford a dowry," Itsua-han said, pale with rage. "Now get out of my house."


    Mother turned, nodding at Father and Grandmother. We took our leave, and I caught one last sight of the two daughters hurrying from the room, from their father''s rage, before Itsua-han slammed the door shut.


    I couldn''t hold it in any longer as we walked out onto the street. "Mother, Father," I said, my voice shaking as I spoke. "It is my fault."


    We stopped, the lights from the gas lamps that lined the street giving everything an eerie yellow glow. Mother took my cold hands.


    "Yori, how could it be your fault?"


    My eyes burned with tears of shame as I lowered my head. "I asked the Creator to keep me from marrying Itsua-han. I have prayed for days. I have brought this upon my family."


    Mother put her fingers under my chin and lifted my head. For a moment, I thought that she would offer words of comfort, reassure me that it wasn''t my fault. But her eyes widened with fury, and she brought her hand across my face with such force that it made me stumble back. Mother stepped forward, hitting my face again, making me fall back. I landed on the frozen ground, my hand rising to the numbness in my face. Father and Grandmother stood back, wordlessly watching as Mother stood over me.


    "You are selfish," she said. Her voice was even, betraying no emotion. "You think only of yourself. Now look at what your selfishness has done. We gave you a man to marry who would have provided for you for years to come, but you can only think of how it will affect you, and not your whole family." She put a hand on her stomach. "Because of you, this baby has no future."


    "Momoko," said Father, stepping forward. "We can solve this. It is no use to take it out on Yori."


    "She prayed that she would not marry Itsua."


    "Perhaps the Creator has better plans."


    Mother looked down at where I was curled on the ground, hot tears rolling down my face. She grabbed me by the collar of my robe and yanked me to my feet. She untied the strap on my hat, pulled it off my head, and tossed it to the ground. She whirled me around and pulled at the ribbon in my hair; I yelped at the pain as she ripped the ribbon out and let my hair fall loose. She untied my wide belt and pulled my blue robe off, leaving me standing in the frigid air in nothing but the cotton under-robe.


    "You are not coming back into the house until you are cleansed in the temple," she said. Mother handed the blue robe to Grandmother. "You pray that the Creator has better plans for us, Yori."


    A boy in a rickshaw came around the corner of the street, stopping as Father gave him the last few coins from the coin pouch. He, Grandmother, and Mother climbed into the rickshaw, not once looking back at me. The boy looked at me, though, and worry crossed his face, but Father was already urging the boy to move on.


    The sound of the wheels rolling down the cobblestone faded as I stood alone, shivering in the thin under-robe.


    I would have to make it to the temple myself¡ªit was custom that one who humiliated their family could not enter under the roof of their home unless they were cleansed, which was why Father and Grandmother showed no opposition to Mother''s anger. Everyone had at some time humiliated their family, though I was certain that no one had done something as horrible as I had done.


    I had been selfish. I should not have prayed for something for myself.


    I started down the street, unfamiliar with this area of the city. Itsua-han''s house was within walking distance of the temple, and I looked up at the moon that gave a little more light than the gas lamps.


    Something sounded on the corner of the street; I could hear a tapping paired with a jingling noise, before a woman''s high-pitched voice started in a song that made me want to cover my ears.


    My hands were busy trying to keep my arms warm.


    I cannot even repeat what the woman sang, so provocative was it, each line describing in detail what was done in the privacy of a bedroom. She finished her song, hinting that she would gladly do all of those for the lonely young man, for a price of only fifteenyan. I turned the corner of the street, seeing the woman tapping on doors of houses with a bamboo pole, the coins she earned through the night tied to the end of the pole, making the jingling sound. She wore a thin white robe, her hair loose, her face painted white with red lips.


    A Wailer.


    The women of the night were called such because of the songs they sang, though I had heard some of my father''s workers at the docks mention that they were called ''wailers'' for different reasons that a little girl should not have heard. The woman turned and saw me, and I realized that I must have looked like a Wailer myself, with my hair down, my face painted, and nothing but my white under-robe on.


    I slipped under the cover of a pine bush that lined the side of the road, and the Wailer resumed her tapping at doors. I peered out to see a door slide open, and watched a man step into the street, handing the woman a few coins, saying something to her, and inviting her inside. Once she was gone, I resumed my walk to the temple.


    My tears were not yet dry, and as I walked, I thought more about what I had done. I could not change it, at least, and the further I walked, the more foolish my thoughts became. If worse came to worse, I would repay my family somehow¡ªperhaps sell myself to a Wailer house, and every last cent that I earned would go to them. I had seen families fall to poverty, who sold their daughters to Wailer houses and their sons to the army, and signed contracts where the parents received any money that the children earned.


    I could see the lights of the temple ahead and picked up my pace, hoping perhaps a priest remained there, so I could have returned to my house in the morning. I hurried through the outdoor altar, where just a few hours before, I had been sealed with Itsua-han.


    I knocked on the door of the temple. When no-one came, I pulled the cord for the bell, hearing it chime deep within the walls. I waited for a few minutes, shivering, before the doors opened and the young priest looked out, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. He saw me, and his face turned red.


    "I''m sorry, miss," he said, sounding very much like he was trying to stay polite in his apparent discomfort, "but we don''t let Wailers in here."


    "No, please," I said, pushing on the door as he began to close it, "I''m not a Wailer. It''s me, Matamura Yori."


    Recognition washed over his face as he held up his lantern to my face, and he opened the door, taking my hand and letting me inside. He shut the door, sliding the huge bolt in place. The large fire in the center of the temple altar still burned, a painful reminder of the humiliation and misfortune I had brought upon my family.


    The priest led me through the empty temple, past the twin statues of the dragons, through a door that led into a small, warm hallway.


    "What happened to you? It has only been a few hours since you and your betrothed were here."


    I hung my head as he led me through another door. It was a small chamber, furnished with a futon, and a wood basin in the corner. There was a tiny window, letting in some of the light from the street lamps.


    "I need to be cleansed," I said. "I humiliated my family."


    The priest said no more on the subject. He set the lantern on the hook in the wall. "I''ll fetch some water, and blankets, and a fresh robe," he said. "I''m afraid we can''t do the cleansing tonight, as I''m not yet qualified for it. We will have the head of the temple back in the morning."


    I nodded, looking down at the futon. "I appreciate your kindness," I said.


    The priest smiled. "It is nothing out of the ordinary," he said. "Our temples are here to offer refuge and peace. You will always find forgiveness here."


    He left me and returned a few minutes later with the hot water and the clean robe, inviting me to eat with him once I was ready. He left me alone to wash the rice paint from my face. Once I had the clean robe on¡ªit was brown wool, soft and warm¡ªI left the room, following the young priest to one of the upstairs rooms in the apartment for priests. He had noodles in a vegetable broth, a humble meal for a humble man. He offered me some fried egg dough, which I politely turned down.


    I lifted the bowl to my lips to drink some of the broth down. The priest ate his dough, watching me as I stuck my chopsticks into the bowl of noodles.


    I glanced up at him, but he looked away. I resumed my meal, each bite tasting bitter, the food seeming to stick to my throat as it went down, my mood sinking in the silence as I thought of what I might receive should I return home in the morning.

 Chapter Three

    <div>


    <div>


    I stood before the door of my house, the ashes on my forehead itching. I reached a hand out and pulled the cord for the bell, hearing it ring inside. The door slid open, and I found myself looking into Grandmother''s tired face. She saw the ash circle on my forehead, and stepped aside. I took my feet out of my shoes, stepping into the house.


    Grandmother said nothing. She left me in the doorway, not looking back at me. As I stepped into the main room, I could see the shrine in its alcove, its black candles burning instead of our lucky red ones.


    Because of me.


    Mother knelt in front of the small table in the room, and I could see her counting out coins and paper bills, sorting them into sections. She didn''t even look up.


    "Come here," she said.


    I went forward and got on my knees before my mother, bowing so low that my forehead touched the floor. "Mother, I am sorry for¡ª"


    "I sold your wedding robe," she said. "I got two hundredyanfor the under-robe alone."


    I looked up. Mother''s face was blank as she worked. "And the fabric for the main robe turned up four-hundred-and-sixtyyan."


    My heart sank when Mother said those words. Mother forked out four bills¡ªeach bill was worth fiveyan¡ªand held them out to me. I took them, wondering what Mother wanted me to do with them.


    "Keep those," she said. "You are going to need the money for the train."


    "The train?" My hands trembled as I folded the bills.


    "We sent a telegram to Yoshi of our situation. He reported back that there are positions open in the factories in Kotari for you to work. He and his wife will put you up in their home until you have enough money to live on your own."


    "Factories?"


    "Learn to talk, Yori, instead of echoing my words." Mother tucked the bills into a leather case and put the coins in her jade jar. "Your father and I will not be able to feed you or Grandmother," she said. "Grandmother is going to live with her sister."


    She stood and took her leave from me, the leather case and the jade jar in her hands. She made a small bow before our little shrine in the corner and went through the door, shutting it behind her and leaving me in my silence.


    I looked at the bills in my hand. I didn''t even deserve to receive the money for the train. I stood and went to the shrine in the corner, getting down on my knees. I clapped my hands three times before it, bowing my head each time. I then took the bills and slipped them under the candle holder. I would not need them¡ªit was Father''s money.


    I left the shrine and slipped into the narrow hall of the ground floor. It was empty, and I hurried across, sliding on my feet with the use of my socks, before I darted up the stairs to my room.


    I opened my closet door, moving the futon out and setting it aside so I had more room to work. I found my old travel bag on the highest shelf. I pulled it out and set it on the floor, opening it so I could put whatever I needed inside.


    My eyes began to burn as I stopped and began to think about what I was doing. I looked into the bag. My knees bent beneath me, and I sank to the floor of my closet, curling in a tight ball as my tears fell from my eyes, down my face, falling onto the collar of my robe and leaving dark spots.


    I should not have been so stupid as to ask that I would not marry Itsua-han. The Creator was now punishing me for my foolishness and my selfish behavior. No, the Creator did not just punish me¡ªthe Creator was punishing my whole family. Such was the price of one selfish action of a young merchant''s daughter.


    And now I had decided to run away, not work miserably in a factory. I was being selfish again. Mother and Father had been kind enough, as well as Yoshi, to give me a place to work. I had never worked harder than perhaps sewing the seam of a robe myself, or gathering herbs to put in broth for sick family members. My hands were soft and delicate, not calloused and rough like the hands of peasants.


    I stayed in my miserable little ball of tears on the floor, letting them fall, as I had held them in the rest of the previous night, not wanting to cry in front of the priest at the temple. I could feel my eyes growing puffy and red, and I wiped them away with the palm of my hand.


    It did no good; more kept falling.


    I stood, still crying, pulling robes from my shelves and tucking them into the bag. I put the most expensive robes on the top; I would sell them once I had left my city, so I would have money to buy food and pay for shelter. I lowered them into the bag carefully; something as small as a stain or a loose stitch could have dramatically reduced the price of such fine clothes.Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.


    I remembered the Wailer in the city, and my thoughts wandered to her; I might have had to find a home in a Wailer house, and live the rest of my life pleasuring men while I sent the money back to my parents. It was a fitting fate for a young woman who had brought so much misfortune upon her family.


    I heard voices through the wall of my closet. Mother and Father''s room was next to mine, and I could hear the floorboards creaking as one of them (my best guess was Father) paced the room. I stopped my movement to listen as hard as I dared.


    "You can''t blame her for all this," Father was saying. I could hear the exhaustion in his voice. "After all, Yo-ji was the one who put the money with Notomo, not Yori."


    "She prayed that the marriage would not be." Mother''s voice shared the same amount of exhaustion, but hers sounded angrier than Father''s.


    "Momoko." I heard Father sigh, and could imagine him putting his hands on Mother''s shoulders and touching his forehead to hers. "The Creator does not punish. We punish ourselves. The Creator would not let all this happen to us because our daughter offered one prayer. Perhaps the Creator did not want Yori marrying Itsua-han. Perhaps there is a greater plan, and the Creator is using our loss of money as a tool."


    I heard a sniff from Mother, and figured that she must have been crying. I heard Father speaking again, his voice softer, so I had to strain my ears to listen to what he was saying.


    "We will speak to Lord Ashiro-han. He is a just ruler of our region, and I think that he will help us end the scheming business of the Notomo Bank."


    "But there is no way to get our money back."


    "None. We will have to work to make it back up there. I am sure, however, that Lord Ashiro-han will help us at least keep the business, rather than let us lose it."


    "I will send a letter to him. I hope he can make time in searching for a wife to listen to us."


    I heard the floorboards creaking again with Mother''s light tread. I looked down at my bag, suddenly realizing how stupid I was to have thought about running away. There was hope in taking the matter up to Lord Ashiro-han. As far as I knew, he was a just lord, and a kind one, though he hadn''t ventured from his home in seven years.


    I would have to repay my family, somehow, for the humiliation and bad fortune I had brought upon them.


    I left my bag packed, in case anything did go wrong.


    <hr noshade="noshade" size="1">


    "There is hope, at least," Grandmother was saying as she set the morning paper down. "You were quick to jump to conclusions, Momoko. Lord Ashiro-han has helped his people out of the dust before."


    Mother looked up from her soup, her eyes wandering to my face. I lowered my gaze to my own soup, lifting the bowl to my lips. I looked over at the paper.


    LORD ASHIRO-HAN TURNS DOWN TWENTY NAGEEYA


    I reached for the paper, but Mother took it, reading it as she drank her tea. She showed it to Father, who read over it quickly.


    "Why should this concern us?" he asked. "He still hasn''t found a wife."


    "Tatsuo," she said, taking his face in one hand to turn it back to the paper. "Read that line again."


    He took the paper in both hands, reading over the line, his brows drawing together as he did so. He looked back at Mother and threw the paper down.


    "No. I''m not going to do this just for money."


    I set my bowl down, looking over at Grandmother. Her face bore extreme confusion, and I felt something fluttering deep inside me. I couldn''t tell what it was; I was shocked at the look of fear that was on Father''s face.


    "But think of a future. We will be well cared for and¡ª"


    "No." Father took the paper and tore it into small pieces. "You will not speak to me again of this matter."


    "Even if she is turned down¡ª"


    "I told you not to speak!" Father tossed the papers off the table. "He has had six dead wives, and I will not let our daughter be the seventh."


    Something akin to dread flooded my body; I could feel myself pale, and I looked over at Mother. She wouldn''t look at me, her face turning red.


    "Momoko," Grandmother breathed. "How could you think of such a thing?"


    "I am thinking of the benefit of our family," Mother said. "We would be more than well off. Think of Yoshi, and his wife and children. Should our family be joined with the family of the lord of our¡ª"


    "Now you are being selfish," Grandmother said. "You have let money take over your life, and you are willing to risk your own daughter''s life just so you can be comfortable and happy."


    "I am thinking about the child I carry in my womb," she said. "I am thinking of my daughter. I am thinking about us all. You are a foolish old woman who has always lived comfortably. You have never worked with your hands like I have. I do not want us to be reduced to living a peasant''s life."


    She stood with some effort and looked around at us all. "And all of you call me wicked for thinking of my family''s welfare."


    She left us, slamming the door shut and leaving a large silence behind us. I looked over at Father.


    "She wanted me to be wed to Lord Ashiro-han?" I asked.


    Father shook his head. "She suggested it. There is still a large amount of money given to the family of the rejected woman, so even if you were rejected, we would have enough money to pick us back up¡­"


    I took a deep breath, still ashamed of myself. I looked at Grandmother, who was drumming her fingers on the table.


    "I have humiliated the family," I said. "And I have been selfish. I suppose the best thing I could do is present myself to Lord Ashiro-han."


    "And if you are accepted? If you become his wife? You shall die also." Father shook his head. "No, I cannot let this happen to you."


    "But Father¡­"


    "Go to your room. Both of you. I no longer wish to be in your presence."


    I glanced at Grandmother; she nodded and stood, offering her hand to me. I stood as well, taking Grandmother''s hand. She gave one last look at Father.


    "Tatsuo," she began.


    Father rested his forehead on his palms. "Go."


    "Things will get better, my son."


    He said nothing. Grandmother led me from the room, into the darkness and the cold of the hall. She kept her hands over mine, holding my little hand to her chest. For an old woman, she was still taller than I was, and she was surprisingly warm.


    "Grandmother, if I was to marry Ashiro-han, I would bring honor back to the family."


    She looked down at me. "You would risk your life to bring honor to our family?"


    "I would do it to¡­to redeem myself. Even if I was rejected, at least Lord Ashiro-han would have to hear of the trouble we have been put into."


    Grandmother pursed her lips. She released my hand and stood apart from me, staring at the light flickering in the family shrine. "Your mother already sent word to Lord Ashiro-han. He will listen to us, I am sure, without you having to be his bride."

 Chapter Four

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    I looked over the railing of my balcony at the man crossing the path to our house. He wore a red robe, a black cap on his head, with two black-clad servants behind him. As they passed, I got a view of the back of their robes and the dragon embroidered there.


    The white dragon was the seal of Lord Ashiro-han''s house. All seven lords of the seven regions had a dragon as their seal, and the emperor had the seven-headed gold dragon as his seal. As Lord Ashiro-han''s region was the lowest of the seven tiers, he had a white dragon, as white was a simple color that required no dyes.


    I watched the men disappear under the eaves of our house. I left the balcony, crossing my room and the hall, before I hurried down the stairs to the hall, peering around the corner of the walls to watch Grandmother let the men in. The man in the red robes was young, carrying a fan and a small scroll in his hand, and to my surprise, he bowed to Grandmother before she bowed to him.


    It didn''t make sense, a man of a higher household bowing to someone of a lower tier, especially a woman¡­


    I ducked out of view as the young man looked in my direction. I closed my eyes, hoping he hadn''t seen me. I could hear him speaking to Grandmother, so I assumed he hadn''t noticed me, or was at least choosing to ignore my presence.


    "Tatsuo is in his study. If you would follow me, I will take you to him."


    The man said something to Grandmother that I didn''t catch. I looked around the corner again as the four passed; I tried not to gasp when I saw the servants. The two black-clad people wore plain, featureless masks over their faces, without even holes for their eyes. Their hair was pulled into a bun at the top of their heads, and I tried to study their necklines and jawline to see if they were men or women, but I could not tell. They walked behind the young man in the red robes. As I tried to get a better look, one of the servants turned their head and looked at me.


    Even without the aid of their eyes, I could tell that the servant was looking at me. A sort of sickening feeling hit me in the stomach and I had to lower myself on the stair. The servant shook their head and turned away from me, following the red-clad young man towards Father''s study.


    I rose to my feet and, sliding across the wood floor in my socks, I followed them at a distance to my father''s study, ducking into Mother''s sewing room as Grandmother showed them in and took her leave.


    I slid to the study door and knelt down, putting my ear against the thin paper to listen.


    "Matamura Tatsuo, I am Lord Ashiro-han''s personal assistant, Umura Hotaki," said the young man. "I carry great sorrow on your part from Lord Ashiro-han himself. He is, unfortunately, unable to come to you himself, as he is currently busy."


    "I understand that our lord does have pressing matters on his hands." I could hear Father through the thin door. "But it is gracious of him to send his assistant. Please, sit down and have tea with us."


    I heard Father say something that I didn''t quite catch, but I caught Mother''s voice in reply. I guessed that he was telling her to serve the tea, as she would have been the youngest there aside from the guests.


    I heard the clinking of the porcelain tea set, and the sound of tea being poured into cups.


    "From what I understand," began Hotaki, "one of your workers placed all of your funds and savings with the Notomo Bank."


    "Yes," said Father. "He was one of my most trusted workers. I did not foresee him cheating me like this."


    "You did not see it in your zodiac?"


    I pursed my lips as I waited for Father''s reply. Father, while a devoutly religious man, and a believer in the spirits and the seven circles of paradise, didn''t use zodiacs to base his life around them. I had never laid eyes on one, but they were common practice for others who wanted to know what the day, week, month, or even year held for them.


    "I don''t use one," Father said.


    "A wise choice," replied Hotaki. "You would rather make your own choices. However, sometime zodiacs may give us a warning of misfortune soon to come."


    I heard the scratchy sound of paper, and guessed that Hotaki was unrolling the scroll he had brought in with him. "What of Yo-ji? The cheat?"


    "He has fled. I alerted the police, but when they got into his home, all his things were gone, and his wife and children were still sleeping."


    "They had nothing to do with it?"


    "No, but I pity them for the shame that he has brought upon them."


    "Lord Ashiro-han will see to it that they do not suffer." I heard fabric rustling, like someone shifting. "On the matter of the loss of your money, there are things that Lord Ashiro-han can do, and things he can''t do."


    Father remained silent, and I waited to hear more.


    "One thing that Lord Ashiro-han can do is shut down the Notomo Bank without the need for an investigation. However, if your money has not been marked with your name, there is no way he can return it, unless of course he found some way to track it."


    "Only about an eighth of it was," said Mother. "We were meaning to mark it, but never got around to it."


    "Hm." I heard the snap of the fan opening, and wondered why Hotaki would be fanning himself when it was still cold out. "Unfortunately, Notomo Bank has declared itself bankrupt. There is no trace of your money, or anyone''s who placed their money with them. I suppose it''s to get out of paying a huge fine."


    "There is no way to get our money back, then," Father said.


    "I''m afraid not. And should the economy crash anytime soon, so would your business, without the money to pay off your loans on the ships and piers you''ve used."


    Father went silent again, and I thought about how much debt we really were in. Was my family truly in so deep that it could have been a crisis on our part?


    "Lord Ashiro-han could pay for the debt himself," Hotaki said.


    "Could he?" I could hear the excitement in Mother''s voice.


    "There is a catch. According to the law, money cannot be given freely from person to person, unless the two people were united. Lord Ashiro-han is no exception, even if he is the lord."


    "As in?" Father''s voice sounded almost as excited as Mother''s.


    "What I mean is that for Lord Ashiro-han to take it on himself to pay off your debts, he would need for your family to be joined with his. And as he is looking for a bride¡­"


    My heart sank when I heard Hotaki''s words. I heard Mother whispering to Father, and Father''s voice, tired and defeated, whispering back to her.


    "We have our young daughter," spoke Mother.


    "She was going to be married," Father said. "Unfortunately, the loss of our money caused for the sealing to be broken."


    "How old is she?" asked Hotaki.


    "Eighteen years," replied Mother.


    "Hm." Hotaki made the noise in his throat again. "It is quite young."


    I trembled as I knelt there before the study door. They were going to marry me off to Lord Ashiro-han after all.


    "However, she will have to go through the tests. Lord Ashiro-han cannot simply marry her unless she can prove that she is a worthy wife for him. I brought this scroll for you to sign should you want to send your daughter to be tested."The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    I heard it unrolling again, and Father telling Mother to give him the ink and the brush. It fell silent, and I was certain that he and Mother were signing the paper.


    "Hopefully Lord Ashiro-han will accept your daughter," Hotaki said. "Should he do that, then your debt will be erased, and your family will have a firm foundation to build on."


    I heard clothes rustling and floorboards creaking as the people inside the study stood. I scrambled to my feet and went back into the sewing room as the study door slid open. I pretended to be interested in the large sewing box as they passed by down the hall, trying to calm my shaky breath and my hammering heart. I heard some of the footsteps stop, and Hotaki''s voice.


    "Is this your daughter?"


    I looked up to see him standing in the doorway. I quickly lowered my eyes and bowed, but Mother ordered me to come into the hall. Hotaki moved aside to give me room, but gently grabbed my arm to stop me.


    "She is small," he said, taking my face with one hand and lifting it up. I kept my eyes lowered from him, my hands at my side.


    "She was born before she was due," Mother said. "And an illness when she was a small child stunted her growth."


    "You said she is eighteen?"


    "Yes," said Father.


    "Quite young to be a bride for Lord Ashiro-han. But we will see if he accepts your offer." Still with his hand on my face, Hotaki turned my head this way and that. "Let me see your eyes," he said.


    I let them wander to his face, and as I did so, he frowned at me. "I can''t say she''s beautiful," he said, "but those eyes have something in them that I can''t place. It is no matter, though. Lord Ashiro-han is not looking for beauty."


    He let go of my face and turned his attention back to my parents; I rubbed a finger over where his thumbnail had dug into the flesh there. I was sure he didn''t mean it, but I felt violated after his small examination of me.


    "We shall see how this all goes. If she is accepted, I will certainly see her again at the island."


    Mother and Father showed Hotaki and his servants to the door; I hung back, trying to hold back the tears that were welling in my eyes. So my wish was granted. I would not be married to Itsua-han, but perhaps wed to the most powerful man in the entire region.


    A man whose previous six wives were all dead was not the type of person I would have remotely considered.


    <hr noshade="noshade" size="1">


    I could not sleep that night. I lay on my futon, the thick blanket over me offering me enough warmth, but still I could not keep my eyes closed. Mother and Father had told me of their decision to send me to Lord Ashiro-han, and I had tried to act surprised, so as not to show that I had been eavesdropping. Mother had stated that I owed the family for being so selfish, and being the wife of a lord was perhaps the best thing I could have done.


    "Servant" was the meaning of my name. I had to be a servant to my family in order to regain the honor I had lost, and what better way than to become a servant to the lord of our land?


    But I could have died¡­I could have been the seventh wife turned to ashes and carried through town, what remained of my body in a little wood box, cradled in the hands of my husband.


    Or I could have discovered why the six wives had died.


    I rolled onto my side, staring at the faint light that made it through the paper door of my balcony. I would have had to lay with Lord Ashiro-han, carry his child, bear the child if I survived that long. For some reason, it did not bother me as much as the thought of laying with Itsua-han and bearing his children did. Itsua-han I had known since I was eight or nine, who I had looked at like an uncle. Lord Ashiro-han was someone unknown to me, a man whose face I had never seen, who hadn''t left his home in seven years.


    He was a man who had reached up and caught a lily that fell from my fingers to tie it on his armor.


    Would he recognize me? I doubted it, and as I turned onto my other side and faced the wall, I wondered if he even remembered it.


    I could hear an owl hooting in the trees outside the house, and the bell of a fishing boat somewhere on the sea. Still unable to sleep, I rose, keeping my blanket tight about me, and went to the balcony. The island of Lord Ashiro-han''s home was easier to see at night than in the day, because of the lights that hung from the eaves of his roof, which were a distant sparkle in the water.


    I might make it there.


    What was it there that kept him from leaving? What lurked behind those walls that had killed each of his wives? Was it waiting there, waiting to kill me?


    It was too cold outside for me to remain there any longer. I left the balcony and went to the small round chair by my altar. I left the blanket on my bed and took the robe from the chair, putting it on over my nightclothes. I lit one of the non-sacred candles from my altar and went downstairs, aiming to make myself a cup of tea to make me drowsy.


    The kitchen was still slightly warm, as coals still burned in the fireplace, their light giving a soft glow. I stoked the fire some more, and hung a pot over it to boil the water for my tea.


    I then got on my knees to search the lower cabinets for the tea I wanted; I moved aside several jars of dried leaves until I found the jar of poppy petals. These were not ordinary poppies, like the ones used for opium, but instead a white kind only found along the sea regions, which, brewed into a tea, tasted like ginger almost, and helped with sleep.


    I put the jars back in their places, and smelled the poppy petals to make sure they were just what I wanted. I didn''t want to get them mixed up with Eung, Grandmother''s pain-reducing tea that could also cause paralysis if one wasn''t too careful. I had once made the mistake of brewing it too strongly, and couldn''t move for hours.


    I set the Eung aside and took my jar of white poppy, dropping a few petals into the cup I had prepared.


    I went to the fire as a whistle sounded through the hole in the pot lid; I took a towel to keep myself from being burned and poured the water over the leaves. As I set the pot away from the fire, I turned to see a white specter lurking in the doorway. My hands flew to my mouth, a shriek coming out of me, as the specter stepped into the room.


    "Father," I breathed when I realized who it was. "You frightened me."


    "I can see that." Father stepped into the kitchen, tying his robe belt tighter about him as he took a cup from the shelf over the wash basin. He dropped a few poppy leaves in there as well, pouring the still-boiling water over it. I took my cup of tea in my hands, watching as he looked over at me.


    "Are you unable to sleep?"


    I nodded.


    "Come with me to my study," he said. He led the way out of the kitchen; I dumped the rest of the water over the coals and followed him, cradling my cup in one hand and holding my candle in the other.


    We went to his study; he set his tea on the low table and took the candle from me. He then went to the kerosene lamp that hung on the wall and lit it with the candle, raising the wick as slowly as he dared. He then took the lamp and set it on the table off to the side. It was the only gas item he allowed in the house, and he was the only one allowed to touch it, as he was still wary of the gas systems that the westerners introduced to us.


    "Are you afraid?" he asked.


    I looked up from my tea; it was still too hot to drink, I had learned the hard way (I now had a scalded tongue). "Afraid of what?"


    "Of what is to come."


    I thought of the chance of my becoming Lord Ashiro-han''s next wife. "Yes," I said.


    Father gave a tired smile. "You are honest, Yori," he said. "Your mother does not understand how much of a blessing your honesty is."


    Father folded his hands atop the table, and as I looked up to him, I could see his father''s sword that hung on the wall behind him. My grandfather had been a great warrior in his youth, back in the twenty-year war against the eastern kingdoms, but my father had refused to follow in those footsteps. Much blood had stained that sword, and Father hadn''t wanted to be the one to stain it further.


    That was the war that took Lord Ashiro-han''s father and older brothers, leaving him lord when he was still a child. Legend had it that he had taken the sword of his father and slain the eastern kingdoms'' greatest general when their ships came to invade our land, and it was because of Lord Ashiro-han''s great deed that bloodshed never came to our soil, and the war stayed in the eastern kingdoms.


    That was well before I was born, and I think well before Father and Mother had married.


    Father turned and looked at the sword when he noticed my gaze resting on it. He looked back at me. "You don''t think me a coward, do you?" he asked.


    "You, Father, a coward?" I shook my head. "Some men are not called to be warriors."


    "And now you speak wise words." He looked down at his tea, holding a hand over it to see if it was still hot. He frowned at it, and looked back up at me. "I am sorry that your mother and I must put you through this," he said.


    I lowered my head. "You and Mother must do what you can for our family," I said.


    "Yori." Father reached across the table and took my hands. His hands were extremely cold, but I found comfort in his touch. "Yori, my lovely daughter."


    I looked up at him, surprised to see a warm smile come over his weathered face. His eyes, dark gray like the sea in winter time, did not look like the storm that I was so used to seeing in them. They were now a dark gray like the sky when the sun sets, welcoming and kind. They were Yoshi''s eyes, Grandmother''s eyes. I had always longed to have Father''s eyes, but I had Mother''s¡ªplain and brown.


    "You have always been something special to me. Your mother wanted only sons, but you do not have any less worth to me because you are a daughter."


    Tears stung my eyes, and I looked down at my cup of tea. Father didn''t release my hands.


    "You must promise me to be brave," he continued. "You must promise to do your best with the tests. You must promise that you will try hard, and not deliberately fail so that you do not marry Lord Ashiro-han."


    "I promise, Father," I said.


    He released my hands, and beckoned me to him. I rose, and he reached up to me, gently pulling me down to be seated next to him. He put his arm about my shoulders and let me rest my head on his chest to hear his steady heartbeat.


    "And you must promise me to be honest in all you say and do."


    "I promise," I said.


    Father began to hum, his hand gently going up and down on my shoulder. I recognized the old tune as the lullaby that the hero Usikawa sings to his firstborn inThe Tale of the Red Water.


    The words went like this, if I remembered correctly:


    White fish and black fish


    Swimming in the darkest deep


    Silent is the night


    Do not let tears fall


    Father will not let you drown


    In the darkest deep


    Red water, blood tide


    Will not stain your little soul


    You are mine to keep


    Black fish and white fish


    Ancient fish of ancient stream


    Brought you here to me


    I stayed there as Father hummed the tune. I think the last time that he actually sang it to me was when I was seven or eight, caught with the fever that caused me to remain so small. Mother never sang me lullabies; it was Father who had been the one to comfort me. Mother had been all about hot broth and medicines when I had been sick; Father had been the one to sing to me and play his flute and read meThe Tale of the Red Water.


    Father and I drank our tea in silence, not saying anything to each other for the rest of the night.

 Chapter Five

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    I looked out over the sea, watching the dark clouds moving in. With the passing of Ice-breaking Day, the warmer weather was coming in, but that meant that the storm season was here, when the warm winds from the east tore over the frozen waters with as much fury as a dragon tearing itself free from the caves where it lived like a volcano eruption. A wind hit my face, causing a few hairs to free themselves from the knot at the nape of my neck.


    Mother, Father, and Grandmother stood behind me, as silent as I was. My heart beat a wild rhythm in my chest, the anxiety swelling to its climax inside me. I had been accepted by Lord Ashiro-han earlier that morning, and now, that afternoon, I stood waiting for his longboat to come take me to his island.


    Four Nageeya stood on the pier with me; one of them, the tallest, looked over her shoulder at me, giving me full view of her slender neck. She had the blackest eyes I had ever seen on a woman, and they seemed to mock me as they went up and down my short form, seeming to say what an unsightly creature I was.


    I wore my finest robe of silver; one I had been aiming to sell once I ran away. The dark grey birds embroidered along every hem glistened every time I moved, seeming to flutter over the fine silk. It was a fitting robe to wear in the winter on such a dark day, and I hoped my appearance would give me ground to tread on. No one would want a sloppily dressed woman to present herself as a future bride, and though Hotaki had said that Lord Ashiro-han was not concerned with beauty, outward appearance was something entirely different.


    I could see the longboat coming around the curve of the cove. The tall, bare cliffs that lined the cove posed as little threat to the longboat. The boat seemed to glide right over the uneven water, without use of oars. The boat had a few tall sails, but it was nowhere near as huge as the junks that came in and out of the cove for trading purposes. I wondered if the boat had some sort of blessing on it to make it sail smoothly. Some merchants would have a priest bless their ships to keep them from ever sinking. It would make sense for the boats belonging to the lord to be blessed as such.


    The longboat was growing closer. I turned to Mother and Father, knowing my time was coming.


    "Goodbye," was all I could say. I didn''t think I was going to cry¡ªI felt just emptiness¡ªbut I couldn''t get any other words out.


    Father and Grandmother pulled me into a tight embrace. I let myself bask in their warmth, bury my face in Father''s chest, wrap my arms around them both. It might have been the last I would see of them for a long time.


    Mother offered no such comforting action. She simply touched my face briefly.


    "You will make us proud." It wasn''t a statement, it was a demand. I knew that if I failed the tests, I would have failed my family, and there was no telling what Mother would do to me if I returned.


    I had no bags to take with me. Lord Ashiro-han''s letter had only stated that his house would provide me with everything. I only wore the clothes on my back. Should I pass the tests and become his wife, my family would bring all my possessions for me.


    I turned to the longboat, which had pulled up to the pier. Men in armor¡ªsoldiers¡ªstepped forward and pushed out a folding ramp from the boat onto the pier. All the soldiers wore snarling bronze masks, much like the servants who had accompanied Hotaki to my father''s house. Hotaki himself stood at the top of the ramp, next to him standing a woman who looked to be my mother''s age. They said nothing to the people on the pier. Hotaki had his fan, and he snapped it open, holding it towards the Nageeya and me, before sweeping it back towards the boat. The Nageeya seemed to understand the action, and they started forward in a line. I followed them, holding my robe up over my feet so I wouldn''t trip going up the ramp. I hurried up, but the lamp was wet from sea spray, and my foot turned underneath me. An arm reached out to grab me, helping me the rest of the way onto the longboat. I turned to thank my rescuer, but a gasp escaped me when I found myself staring into the snarling bronze face.


    "Do not let Captain Osuko frighten you, Yori," said Hotaki with a laugh, "though he does enjoy frightening young women."


    My face burned, however. My first impression to the people of Lord Ashiro-han''s house was one of clumsiness, and I could see the Nageeya gathered in a small circle whispering to each other over my fumble.


    The soldiers folded the ramp back up and carried it back to a corner of the deck. Hotaki waved his fan at the person behind the boat''s steering device; it was a black-clad servant with a featureless white mask, like Hotaki''s two escorts.


    The woman who had stood by Hotaki went down underneath the deck; Hotaki motioned for the women and me to follow her. The Nageeya hurried ahead of me, their heads held high, their posture rigid. I followed them, being careful as I went down the steps. I turned my head to see if I could have gotten one last look at my parents and Grandmother, but Hotaki and Captain Osuko were standing in the way.


    Underneath the deck was dark, the ceiling low. For once I appreciated my lack of height, for the Nageeya had to duck so as not to hit their heads on the beams. The woman led us to a small room, and took her place behind a low desk. The Nageeya once more formed a line, with me at the very back. The woman called each Nageeya in turns, and when the last went into the room, I felt my heart hammering again.


    "Next!" came the woman''s call. I went into the room, sliding its door shut behind me. The woman had her head bowed over something, and I had the fleeting thought that she was speaking to whatever was in her hands.


    "Kneel," she ordered.


    I knelt before her, my hands placed on my knees. The woman looked up, setting the little box that she had had aside on her desk. I tried not to gasp when she looked at me. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, with few wrinkles and the most appealing shape of her head, her nose long in the ideal ''fox'' appearance, except for one thing: her eyes were nothing but white circles set in her face.


    I had seen blind people before, but their eyes had been no different from the eyes of those who could see, but something told me that this woman who knelt behind the deskwasindeed blind. Without an iris or a pupil, sight would have been impossible.


    "Family name?"


    "Matamura," I replied.


    The woman lifted the box and held it up to my face. "Say it into this."


    Disturbed, I leaned forward to speak into the box. "Matamura."


    "Personal name?"


    I spoke to the box again. "Yori."


    "Age?"


    "Eighteen."


    "Date of birth?"


    "Third night of the full moon in the fourth month of the thirty-eighth year of the dolphin calendar." My tongue felt twisted after that mouthful, even though Grandmother had had me recite it all morning.


    The woman ran the fingers of her free hand over the sheet of paper in front of her. I looked down quickly, seeing it was a paper with raised bumps on it.


    "Your family''s zodiac symbol?"


    "Dolphin."


    "Speak into the box please."


    I leaned forward and repeated what I had said into the box, confused as to why I had to speak to it. The woman nodded and set the box back on her desk, consulting the abacus on the desk. She moved a few beads and whispered something to the box.


    "You are free. Please go through the door opposite where you had first come in."


    I stood, still confused by the little box. "May I ask a question?"


    The woman''s head snapped up. "Ask a question?" she asked, sounding as if asking a question was some kind of crime. "I suppose so."


    "What''s the purpose of the box?"


    The woman smiled. She held up the box, turning a little lever on the side. My voice came back to me, sounding¡­crackly, almost. I stared at it in shock. I had never really thought about my voice before, and to hear it coming out of something that wasn''t my mouth¡­


    "I can''t write very well without sight," said the woman. "This box is a western invention. It records the sound of your voice to play back to others."


    "It''s quite wonderful," I said. "I''ve never seen or heard anything like it."


    The woman smiled as the box finished with my voice; she turned the lever again as the voice of the Nageeya before me began to sound back. The box went silent. "You''re the only one who asked what this was."


    "I just wanted to know what it was."


    The woman nodded. "Curiosity can be a good thing. You may go now."


    I bowed to her despite knowing she couldn''t see me, and left the room.


    The Nageeya were waiting there, kneeling in front of a low table that had small bowls of rice and fish, and little cups of tea. I hadn''t eaten all day, so I knelt at the table and helped myself to one of the bowls. The Nageeya I had knelt next to inched away from me, but I ignored her so I could eat my meal. I ate my rice slowly, not wanting to appear a slob before the highly educated and almost perfect Nageeya. Though not on the tier of nobility, they were yet above me, and I had to show proper etiquette before them.


    "Pass me that sauce."If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    I looked up, realizing the tallest Nageeya was speaking to me. I looked around the low table. I saw that the tall Nageeya was reaching across her companion, her sleeve trailing in the shorter girl''s bowl. I passed the tall Nageeya the bowl of sauce, and she ladled it over her rice.


    I guessed I was the youngest there, and as I was on the lowest tier among the women, I had to do what they commanded of me.


    The tall girl dipped some of her fish in the sauce and looked about the table. "Why, everyone''s so quiet," she said, "like we''re being led to the slaughter."


    One of the Nageeya spoke. "It could be that we are being led to the slaughter, knowing that all six of Lord Ashiro-han''s wives are dead."


    "And what makes you think that number seven will share the same fate?" the tall Nageeya said. "Seven is the heavenly number."


    "It can also be a bad number if the zodiac is upside-down," I said. Thought I had never used a zodiac, I knew from hearing priests talk that having an upside-down zodiac was a very bad thing.


    The tall Nageeya turned her black eyes to me. "Nobody gave you permission to speak."


    "Shut up," said one of the other Nageeya. "She''s not a peasant."


    "She''s still of a lower tier, and the youngest here."


    The Nageeya who had rebuked the black-eyed one turned to me. "How old are you exactly?"


    "Eighteen," I said.


    The Nageeya pursed her lips. "Then youarethe youngest. What''s your name?"


    "Matamura Yori," I said.


    The nicer Nageeya''s eyes widened. "Matamura? Your father is Tatsuo the merchant?"


    I nodded my head.


    "Because of your father''s trade, we have these wonderful robes. Satin from the west could not have gotten here without your father''s business!"


    I smiled and lowered my eyes to my bowl.


    "I''m Kitsei," said the Nageeya. "The tall, mean one is Fumei"¡ªthe black-eyed Nageeya snorted¡ª"that''s Amei"¡ªshe motioned to an apple-faced Nageeya¡ª"and that''s Omei." The last Nageeya was a slender young woman with a small, round nose like a button.


    "I''m nineteen," said Kitsei. "We''re almost the same age."


    I nodded as she lifted some of her fish to her mouth. She had pale eyes, almost green, that I hadn''t seen very often among our people. I had to admit that Kitsei was very beautiful, with a perfectly oval head, and skin so smooth and fair it was like someone had already painted her with rice-water paste. Her hands were long and slender, her wrists thin. I marveled at her; she had the perfect tube-like figure that I had always wanted. The girl with the button nose, Omei, was almost the same way. Amei was fuller, almost like me, but I guessed she was more graceful. Fumei almost had the reed-stalk figure, and I could see her cheekbones, prominent on her long face.


    I had never really been around girls close to my age. The only women I knew well were Mother and Grandmother. I only knew girls from brief encounters when my father would go to the houses of his workers, and I would play with the girls with their dolls, until of course I reached the age where playing with dolls fell from my favor, and I would simply sit around and watch the other girls play chess or some other game like that.


    I wondered why Father and Mother had never sent me to Nageeya academy. Most of the girls were the daughters of merchants themselves¡ªsurely if I married into nobility, or even the house of the emperor, they would have approved of it.


    Perhaps¡­perhaps it is because I''m not fit to be a Nageeya.I looked down at myself, not looking back up at the Nageeya. Nageeya also had their names changed, I remembered when I thought of the similarities in all the girls'' names. I like my name, at least, and I didn''t want to have to give it up¡ªone of the few possessions I had¡ªjust to become a wife of royalty. Nageeya, once handed to the houses, were no longer property of their family, but property of the house matriarch, who could do with them whatever she wished.


    I tried to finish my meal, but I had lost my appetite. My fate loomed above me, almost like a shadow hanging over my shoulder and breathing down my neck. Father had made me promise that I wouldn''t deliberately fail, but the thought of it was tempting. I wanted to fail on purpose, but I couldn''t imagine the further humiliation I would have brought to my family name. I wanted to bring conversation back, perhaps discuss the matter of the white-eyed woman, but none of the Nageeya seemed concerned over the woman, so I kept my mouth shut.


    I heard no creaking of wood as the boat went across the water, and I felt no rocking to make me sick. My best guess was that the boat did have some sort of blessing on it.


    I finished with my small meal, and the door I had come through opened, the white-eyed woman stepping among us. She clapped her hands, and two of the masked servants came from the shadows. Amei shrieked, and Fumei reached over to cover her mouth. I myself was startled¡ªthe servants had been hanging in the shadows while we talked and ate. None of us had noticed them at all.


    "Don''t let the servants frighten you," said the white-eyed woman. I leaned back so one of the servants could scoop up the dishes. I studied the servant, still trying to see what there was for them to hide behind masks, but the servant turned its face to me as it straightened, and I looked down. I didn''t know if the servant could see me¡ªthere were no holes in their masks for eyes¡ªbut I still felt like it was wrong to look them in the face.


    "I am Komo-me-no," said the woman, "the master of Lord Ashiro-han''s house."


    I tried not to show my confusion over her words. Only a manservant could be the master of a Lord''s house; he was the one who managed the lord''s accounts, who organized events, who brought cases before a lord for the lord''s approval. Those were skills that women weren''t taught. I looked around the table to see the confusion apparent on the faces of the Nageeya around me.


    "It is my duty to oversee the testing of you young women who are being brought before Lord Ashiro-han seeking to be his wife," the woman, Komo, continued. "Only one of you will make it to being his wife, or none at all." She tucked her hands into her sleeves and came a few steps forward. "You are at the mercy of the house of Lord Ashiro-han now. You may have had your educations, and some of you here are Nageeya, trained to be wives to the highest men in our land. You will be expected to act like you are walking among the clouds."


    I swallowed a lump in my throat. Walking among the clouds was a term used for a woman who was expected to walk with grace, beauty, and even seductiveness: three things I was certain I lacked.


    "Lord Ashiro-han is not concerned with beauty," Komo went on. "I myself, a blind woman, do not know what you look like. For all I know, the five of you could look like pigs and monkeys, but that is the least of our concern. Do not think that you will beguile Lord Ashiro-han with your looks. You will all act like a lord''s wife."


    "Komo-no," said Amei, her face paler than before. "We won''t die, will we?"


    I looked over to see Fumei give Amei a swat on the back of her head. Komo did not laugh. She sighed and hung her head.


    "I know some of you might be frightened," she said. "Lord Ashiro-han has had six wives¡ªmore than any other lord in the seven regions. But his priest has foreseen that the time is right. I suggest you pray for courage."


    She bowed to us; the Nageeya all rose, and I rose with them, to bow to Komo. Komo straightened and left, and it was then that I realized there was a soft hand in mine. I looked over to see Kitsei glance at me. She wasn''t that much taller than I was, and her being about my age made me feel some sort of closeness to her.


    "You''re not scared, are you?" she asked me as we sat back down.


    I squeezed her hand. "I''m very scared," I said.


    "I think you two are just being stupid," said Omei. "What''s there to be afraid of?"


    Amei, the little frightened one, was crying. Fumei snorted at her. "With a man who has had six dead wives, there''s plenty to be frightened of. I wonder if he had them killed."


    "Fumei!" Omei hissed. She pointed to the shadows of the little room, then gasped in surprise. "The servants aren''t there."


    "I wonder if they left," Fumei said, rolling her eyes to the ceiling, her voice thick with sarcasm.


    Amei was still crying, either from fear or from the swat to the back of her head, or both. Kitsei released my hand to pat Amei''s.


    "Don''t cry, Amei," she said. "Perhaps you won''t be married to Lord Ashiro-han."


    "I know. What''s there in you for the lord to find attractive enough to marry?" Fumei said. "I doubt he''d want to bed you. Even if he''s not concerned with beauty, you''re too thick, like the merchant girl."


    I clenched my jaw in anger towards the black-eyed woman. "At least she has flesh on her bones, instead of looking like Ago-Yan," I said. "You hardly look healthy enough to carry a baby."


    Fumei didn''t seem disturbed by my comment. "I don''t intend on carrying any children for him. I''m going to deliberately fail."


    "Then I hope you bring dishonor on your house," I said.


    Fumei shrugged and inspected her fingernails.


    The door slid open again and this time Hotaki entered the little room, dipping his head towards us. "We approach the island. It is time for you to come up onto the deck."


    We rose; I straightened my robe, noticing the trembling in my fingers as I did so. Fumei led the line towards the doorway, with me at the back, as usual. Kitsei turned and gave me a smile, and I smiled back, hoping I didn''t look like a skull when I did so. I had never been quite fond of my smile, and it wasn''t pleasant when I gave a nervous smile.


    A wave of cold air hit my face when we ascended the steps onto the deck. I looked towards the back of the boat; the mainland was nothing more than a faint line of red clay rooftops and snowcapped mountains in the distance. I had never been so far from home before, not even inland¡ªand now I was in the middle of the sea, about to set foot on an island I had only seen from my window.


    The rooftops of the lord''s home loomed high above the water. I had never thought the island was so big; cliffs hundreds of feet tall rose out of the water, dwarfing our little boat, and a wall circled the top of the cliffs, enclosing the lord''s house within. Either the wall kept the world out, or the wall kept Lord Ashiro-han locked in.


    The boat turned the curve of the island, and a gate jutting out of the water greeted us. It was framed on either side by the large rocks that surrounded the island like jagged teeth, a sure discouragement to invading ships. Two masked soldiers stood on either side of the gate, and I watched as Hotaki snapped his fan open and waved to the soldiers. The soldiers began turning huge cranks, slowly opening the doors of the gate.


    I felt Kitsei''s hand slip into mine again. I put my hand on her arm, giving her a reassuring smile, but she wasn''t looking at me. Her pale green eyes, wide and terrified, were looking up at the clifftops.


    The gates were fully opened; the boat glided through a tunnel before opening up into a sort of cove. The island sloped down and inward towards the cove, and I could see two more longboats anchored in the cove. There was a sort of beach, and from the beach rose a smaller cliff with a staircase carved into it. I turned to look behind me, seeing the tunnel growing smaller as the boat went across the water.


    Lord Ashiro-han''s house sprawled over the island, different levels built up over the rising ground, the wall only on the outer ring of the island. Ancient pines stood at the clifftops, looking down over the water. It was a magnificent sight to behold, and I found myself wondering what the island looked like in full bloom of summer.


    The longboat pulled up to a dock; the soldiers stepped forward and lowered the unfolding ramp. Komo led the line down onto the dock, and when we had all stepped off¡ªHotaki included¡ªKomo turned to us. "Is everyone off the boat?"


    Hotaki counted heads. "We have everyone here."


    Komo gave a nod of her head. "Good."


    She led us across the beach to the staircase. Kitsei still had a hold of my hand, but she had to let go¡ªthe staircase was only wide enough for one person at a time, with a wall boxing us in against the cliff face.


    The stairs were somewhat slick with ice, and we went carefully and slowly. My foot slipped on a patch of ice; I seized up with panic, but before I could fall all the way back down, I felt Hotaki, who was behind me, catch me and straighten me.


    "I''m sorry," I said. "I should watch my footing."


    Hotaki''s face was somewhat pale, perhaps with the thought of tumbling down the stairs himself. "Happens to everybody," he said.


    We resumed our ascent. The stairs, though slick, weren''t steep, and the climb wasn''t as bad as I would have expected. We reached the top, where a stone yard waited for us, more stairs at the end with twin dragon statues on either side. Beyond the stairs was a low wall covered in bare flower vines. Komo led us across to the small round door in the wall, opening it to reveal a stone courtyard filled with the naked, brown bushes that used to hold flowers. There was an empty fountain in the center, and at the end of the courtyard was a little house.


    "These are your guest quarters," Komo said as she led us across the courtyard. "You will stay here for the testing."


    One of the main buildings of the lord''s house looked over the courtyard. As a cold breeze blew over the courtyard, I glanced up at the building, seeing a man standing on the balcony looking down at us. I couldn''t see his face from where I was, but a chill that came from within me ran over my body as I looked at the man. He wore black robes, and I caught the glint of a sword''s sheath at his side. Only a lord carried such a weapon.


    The man turned, and I caught a glimpse of black hair tousled by the wind, a flash of a white dragon on the robe. I felt an overwhelming wave of sadness hit me like the same sadness I had felt looking down at Lord Ashiro-han seven years ago¡­


    I was certain I hadn''t seen a servant.

 Chapter Six

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    I stared at the parchment in front of me and lowered the brush to its surface, signing the character for my name and trying not to let my hand tremble too much. Komo watched me¡ªor at least had her face pointed in my direction¡ªand reached out to gently touch my hand.


    "You are afraid?" she asked.


    I didn''t say anything; I looked up at her, into her blank eyes.


    "I can hear you trembling," Komo said.


    I started. How could she hear me trembling? "Your¡­your sense of hearing is that good?" I asked.


    Komo smiled past me. "If you are blind for as long as I have been, you will develop senses you wouldn''t even imagine."


    I wondered if Komo had been blind from birth. Perhaps she had been born without pupils and irises at all, a strange defect that was very uncommon. Usually one born with such a defect had them if the mother was possessed by an unclean spirit. I didn''t want to pry and ask Komo such delicate questions, so I remained silent and finished the last line in the character for my name. She removed her hand, still looking at me (at least at my shoulder) and waited for me to finish. When I was done, she took the parchment and handed it over to the silent masked servant, who bowed and hurried out of the room.


    I was in Komo''s downstairs study of the little guest house, where she had taken all of our names again, and had us sign papers to guarantee that we were who we said we were. The papers were not for us to sign to grant our own approval of being handed over to the lord''s house; the Nageeya house had control over the Nageeya, and my parents had control over me. An unmarried young woman was not expected to make her own decisions.


    I must admit I was rather nervous. The first day of testing was the physical one. A doctor was coming to the island to look us over and make sure we had no health issues. Lord Ashiro-han needed a healthy wife if he was to produce an heir.


    I stood when Komo dismissed me, and left the room to the small dining area, where the Nageeya were already starting breakfast. Hotaki was at the table with them, seated next to Kitsei. I took the seat on Kitsei''s other side, helping myself to the warm broth.


    "Hotaki was telling us of the island," Kitsei said to me, passing me a plate of flatbread. I took a piece, looking at her with interest.


    "And?"


    "When the seven brothers defeated the demons," said Hotaki, "the youngest took the island because the demons could not cross over such large expanses of water. Even though he was victorious over the demons, Lord Ashiro-han''s ancestor didn''t want to take any chances."


    I remembered the story of the seven brothers: it had been hundreds of years ago, and it was the story of how our land had become a kingdom. Before then, it was a land filled with roaming bands of mercenaries, tiny villages prone to attacks, and evil spirits that roamed the land because of the seven demons. The seven demons rose to power when the last king of our land had fallen to temptation, and the Creator could not change the king''s stone heart. For hundreds of years our country was tormented by the seven demons and their children, until seven brothers from a small village decided enough was enough. Each brother fought his own demon, the eldest taking the mightiest demon, Agira, the demon of hate and wrath. When the final battle was won and the demons returned to the underworld, the Creator appointed the eldest as emperor. The land was split into seven regions, and the seven lords rose to power.


    Ashiro-han''s ancestor, Akiro, took the region of the Eastern coast, which is on the lowest tier, as he was the youngest. He had defeated Aga, the sightless and hideous demon of deceit and false wisdom. Each of the brothers gained the powers opposite that which the demons had; for example, the oldest gained compassion and patience as opposed to Agira''s sin, the youngest gained true wisdom and truth, the brother who defeated the demon of greed became generous, and so on. From there on, the houses of the seven lords have been blessed with the gifts.


    "Akiro had defeated Aga in single combat," I said, "and was still a boy when he did. Just because he was the youngest didn''t mean that the demon he defeated was the least powerful. What did he have to fear?"


    "The return of the demons," said Hotaki. "For years afterwards, the seven brothers were afraid that the demons would rise to power, so they had temples built, and the emperor assigned priests to watch over the land in case the demons returned from the underworld." He lifted his bowl of broth to his lips. "Just as Lord Ashiro-han has had watchtowers constructed in case the eastern kingdoms of Bakaar attempt another invasion."


    The end of the twenty-year war marked the start of tension between our land and the eastern kingdoms. The kings of Bakaar had wanted our land for centuries, and their attempt at invasion was quickly destroyed, and their kingdoms suffered heavily in the war when our people went to fight them. It was wise of Lord Ashiro-han to keep watch on the coast; after all, he was the only lord whose region extended a coastline. It was up to him to defend the eastern border.


    Hotaki finished his broth and stood. "If you will excuse me," he said, "I must return to my lord. It was a pleasure meeting you, and I hope that I will see you again at the end of this day." He gave a small bow to us, and I noticed Kitsei staring after him as he left.


    "He''s attractive," said Fumei as she set her bowl of broth down. "And young."


    Kitsei looked back at her breakfast; I saw the smallest hint of pink on her cheeks. Fumei did tell the truth; Hotaki was a very attractive man, with a perfectly angled face and high cheekbones that women seemed to be drawn to. And he was rather young; much younger than Lord Ashiro-han was, I was sure.


    I finished my breakfast and looked around, glancing at the two masked servants in the corner. I had meant to ask Hotaki why the servants wore masks but decided against it, thinking that perhaps it was as sensitive a subject as the question of why Komo had white eyes.


    I stood to excuse myself, returning to the upstairs room that I had shared with the Nageeya that night. I found Komo there, holding a pale blue robe. She lifted her head in my direction.


    "Who is there?"


    "Matamura Yori," I said.


    Komo beckoned me forward, reaching out to touch me. I offered my arm, and she pulled me forward. "You will wear this robe for the testing days. Whatever robe you have on will be put away until the testing is over."


    I was wearing the silver robe that I had worn to the island the day before. I untied my belt and pulled the silver robe off, setting it on the futon and taking the pale blue garment from Komo. I slipped it over my arms; it was a little long on me, but by folding the robe up, I could tie the belt over it so I wouldn''t trip on the hem. The sleeves, gathered at my wrists, were still a little too long, but they had little cords that I could tighten around my wrists so the sleeves wouldn''t fall over my hands.


    Komo felt around the futon and picked up the silver robe, giving me a small nod. "The doctor will be here within the hour," she said. "I will send for you when he arrives."


    She turned and left me, walking with such grace and poise I could not have imagined that she could not see. Her hair was twisted up onto her head, and to my surprise, I saw a small glimpse of color rising above the neckline of her robe. She shut the door after her, and I couldn''t see anymore. I hadn''t noticed an ivory comb in her hair to mark her as a married woman, but the presence of a tattoo meant that she had been married. She was still young enough to bear children, but¡­perhaps she wasn''t able to.


    An infertile spouse was a great tragedy to a family; our people put so much into the thought of having children and passing down tradition to generations that the discovery of a spouse who couldn''t produce children broke hearts. It was common for a husband to sell his infertile wife to a Wailer house, a practice which Emperor Iwa-Vong was trying to abolish.


    My thoughts drifted to Lord Ashiro-han. Had he been unable to produce an heir because he himself was infertile? It was unheard of that a lord or anyone in a lord''s family had ever been infertile, as the Creator promised that the lords and emperors of all the land would be blessed with heirs more numerous than all the grains of sand throughout the entire world.


    I tried not to think on it too much.


    <hr noshade="noshade" size="1">


    The towers of the lord''s house hung over us as Komo led us into one of the small buildings where the doctor waited. My heart was hammering, and I tried not to grow anxious wondering if there was anything the doctor would find wrong with me.


    We entered the main room of the small house, and I was surprised to see Hotaki kneeling behind a little desk in the corner. He was bent over some paperwork, sliding beads on an abacus. I wondered if he was managing the expense of having the doctor over; it was uncommon for a doctor to do anything for free.


    Hotaki smiled as he looked up, and I smiled back, feeling a blush rising to my face when I realised he was smiling at Kitsei. Komo had us sit around a small firepit set in the center of the floor as she went into the next room to notify the doctor.


    I held my hands over the hot rocks, looking around at the Nageeya. Fumei was examining her nails again, and Amei was fidgeting with the end of her belt. Omei stared at the hot rocks in silence. I looked over to Kitsei to see her staring at her hands.


    "You''re not nervous about this, are you?" I asked.


    She smiled up at me. "We see the doctor every month. I''m used to this."


    Komo came through the door. "The doctor will see the oldest now," she said.


    Fumei stood and went into the room. Komo shut the door behind her and came to join us.


    I heard muffled voices behind the door; I guessed that the doctor was asking Fumei the typical questions that a doctor would ask a patient. I glanced at Kitsei again; this time, she was picking at her lip.


    "You all are so silent," Hotaki said.


    "There isn''t much to talk about," Omei said.


    "I can smell how nervous you all are," Hotaki said with a grin. "It''s just a routine checkup; nothing to worry about." He glanced at Komo. "It isn''t Doctor Fajiwo, is it?" he asked.


    "No," said Komo. "It is the younger one whose name I cannot recall."


    I tried not to groan; I wasn''t nervous with the thought of getting poked and prodded by an old man, but now I had heard that the doctor was a young man. It made my anxiety increase.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    "This is not going as I expected," Kitsei said. Komo smiled in her direction.


    "He might be handsome," she said.


    "That makes it worse," I said.


    Komo laughed, patting my hand. "Then try not to dwell on it."


    Once again, Kitsei slipped her hand into mine. "I wish we could go together," she said.


    I wrapped both my hands around hers and squeezed them gently, unsure of what to say.


    After a few minutes, Fumei stepped out, a small paper in her hand. She went to Hotaki and handed him the paper; he read over it before writing something on the paper in front of him and handing the paper back to Fumei. Komo stood and led Fumei out of the house. Omei stood and went into the next room herself, not speaking a single word.


    We fell into silence again; after a few minutes, Omei stepped out, looking confused as she handed Hotaki her paper. He wrote some things down again, handed the paper back to Omei, and instructed her to go back to the guest house.


    The same went for Amei; she came out, gave her paper to Hotaki, and left. Kitsei was still holding my hand as she stood. She noticed, pulled her hand out of mine, and went to the room, sliding the door shut behind her as she gave me one last look. I smiled at her, hoping to encourage her.


    Hotaki and I were the only ones left in the room. I glanced at him, noticing that he had his chin in his hand and was fiddling with the abacus. He looked over at me, and I remembered thinking about how handsome he was. His eyes had the perfect slant to them, his nose was perfectly straight¡ªand here I was with the chance of being married to an older man.


    "Is Kitsei a close friend of yours?" he asked.


    I shook my head. "I met her on the boat yesterday."


    "Do you have any friends?"


    "No¡­I never really left my house much."


    "So this is the first time you''re staying away from your home."


    "Yes," I said. "It''s the farthest I''ve ever been from my home, to be honest."


    Hotaki lifted his head from his hand. "Are you afraid?"


    I laughed, shaking my head. Hotaki drew his brows together. "Why do you laugh?"


    "I have been asked that over and over," I said. "And yes, I am rather afraid. I do not know if Lord Ashiro-han is someone to be feared. What''s he like?"


    Hotaki looked shocked at both my answer and my question. He cleared his throat. "Lord Ashiro-han has been like a father to me," he said. My spirits sank when I began to think of how old the lord really was if he was like a father to Hotaki. "More, though¡­more like an older brother. His father was like a father to me, and when his father and brothers died, Lord Ashiro-han promised to see to it that I had a future ahead of me."


    I waited for him to say more.


    "He is kind, and full of wisdom, and very just," Hotaki continued. I had heard those things about Lord Ashiro-han over and over. "He sees to it that all his subjects, even the lowest peasant, is cared for."


    I frowned. That was what everyone said about Lord Ashiro-han. I didn''t know what he was like as a man. Had his wives loved him? Had he loved his wives?


    I was about to ask something more when the door slid open and Kitsei stepped out. Her eyes were red, and I noticed that tears were spilling from them, making wet lines on her perfect face. I rose to my feet, suddenly worried for her, but she went straight to Hotaki and handed him the paper. He read it, then looked back up at her, his eyes wide and his face white.


    "Kitsei¡­" he said.


    "I must leave the island," she said, her voice trembling. Hotaki stood, but Kitsei turned to go, not even looking at me as she passed me to the door. I reached out to stop her, but she slid the door open and hurried out. I looked out the door to see her running across the walk, before Komo, who was returning, grabbed her arm to stop her. Hotaki came to my side and shut the door. He returned to his small desk and wrote something down on his piece of paper. He looked up at me.


    "You should go in there," he said, inclining his head to the door.


    Still wondering about Kitsei, I gave Hotaki a small bow and entered the room where the doctor waited, seeing a man and woman standing to the side. The woman was shaking her head, and I recognised her white robes marking her as a nun. I wondered, for a moment, what a nun would be doing there with the doctor, but I was more confused at the doctor''s appearance.


    He wore no robes, but western-style clothes that I recognized from the ink illustrations in the paper: things called trousers that each leg fit into, and a white shirt that had fasteners called buttons, and an odd sleeveless sort of thing that buttoned up the middle that I had heard called a ''waistcoat''. His hair was parted in the middle and combed to the sides and back, his large ear sticking out. He looked up at me, adjusting the short, wide ribbon around his neck that westerners called a tie.


    "Matamura Yori?" he asked.


    I looked up from his black shoes, marveling at his gray suit. I had never seen one of our people dressed like a westerner. I stared at him with the same sort of confusion as I would stare at a snake with fur.


    "Ah¡­yes¡­" I said. The smoky sweet smell of incense filled the air, and I noticed the young nun holding a bowl with a steady stream of smoke rising from it.


    "Very good," said the doctor. He looked down at the flat piece of wood in his hand; he had a strange black stick with a sharp metal tip in his other hand, and he used it to write on the piece of paper that rested on the wood board. The stick made a strange scratching noise.


    "Please remove your robe," he said.


    I reluctantly untied my belt and pulled my robe off, standing there before the doctor and the nun in my thin white under robe. The nun took the blue robe, and the doctor came over, scribbling and scratching on his piece of paper.


    "Have you ever broken a bone?" he asked.


    "No."


    "Have you ever suffered severe illness?"


    "Yes," I said.


    "What was it?"


    "A fever, when I was little."


    "Very good." He scribbled again. "Have you had your bleedings?"


    "Yes."


    "When did you receive your first one?"


    "When I was fifteen." The personal questions did not bother me as much as I thought they would.


    "Have they ever stopped or been delayed for any reason?"


    "No."


    "Very good." He scratched the odd black stick over the paper. "Have you ever had any mental illness? Any hallucinations, irrational thoughts, or long periods of unexplained confusion?"


    "No to all."


    "Very good." He handed the board and the black stick to the nun. He then went around to my back, and he pulled my under robe down, exposing my shoulders and back. I felt his fingers poking at my back, along my spine, at my shoulderblades. He then gently bent me over, running his hand over my whole back. I recognized the way he touched me; he was checking to see if I had any hunch to my back. My grandmother had told me that the smallest twist of the spine or hunch in a back could make a pregnancy very painful.


    He straightened me, pulling my robe back up and over my shoulders, before coming around to face me. He took my head in his hands and turned it this way and that, and he had me open my mouth so he could look at my teeth. When he was done, he took his board and black stick back.


    "You are physically healthy, Yori," he said. "I just have to ask a few more questions."


    "Of course, doctor."


    "Have you ever had relations with a man or been pregnant?"


    "No."


    "Very good." He turned to the nun. "Ukara, please."


    She gave a bow of her head, returning my robe to me. I gratefully put it back on and tied the belt. The nun came before me, handing me the bowl of incense.


    "Breathe this in," she said.


    I took the bowl, realizing who the nun was; she had a mark on her forehead, a little moon, that told me of her specialty. Newlywed or soon to be married couples went to the nuns like this Ukara, as the nuns were something like seers. This nun would tell me if I was fertile or not.


    I breathed in the incense, a tingling going through my nose. I felt alert, almost, and as the nun took my head and touched her forehead to mine, I could feel something stirring deep inside me. The nun hummed for a few seconds, then stepped back, taking the bowl from me. She nodded to the doctor, who wrote something more on his paper.


    "Very good," he said. He took the piece of paper he had written on and handed it to me. "You are dismissed."


    I paused as I was about to go out the door. "The girl who came before me," I said. "She¡­she can''t have children, can she?"


    The doctor and the nun looked at each other. "I''m afraid not," he said.


    I hung my head. Poor Kitsei¡ªthere was no telling what would happen to her once she returned to her Nageeya house. "I will pray for her," I said before heading out the door.


    I went to Hotaki, handing the little paper to him. He looked upset, and said nothing to me as he wrote down on his paper after reading mine. He handed the paper back to me, and I left the little house, wondering what was bothering him so.


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    The sound of a metal-stringed instrument carried through the house as we ate our supper. The rest of the day after the doctor''s examination of us went rather uneventfully; Komo tested us on basic knowledge, and I had barely passed. I knew my history, and reading, and religion well, but when it came to counting on an abacus, my mind had gone blank. I had never had training with them like the Nageeya had; I wasn''t expected to marry into nobility, and Komo let me off, as I wasn''t a Nageeya.


    Hotaki played the stringed instrument in the corner, and I saw him pressing keys with one hand while he strummed the metal strings with the other hand. The sound that came from it was metallic, but lively.


    "A floor harp," Fumei said. "I know how to play one."


    "I''ve never seen you play one," Omei said.


    Fumei smirked and stood, kneeling next to Hotaki. He stopped playing, and she reached over, strumming the strings a few times. She smiled at Hotaki; he looked away in unmasked irritation. Fumei began to play a tune that was faster than the one Hotaki had been playing, and I was reluctant to admit that she was better than Hotaki.


    I stood, not wanting to be in the presence of Fumei. Amei had left the table; I left that room and went up the stairs to the room I shared with the Nageeya. I found Amei sitting on her futon, her knees drawn up under her chin, her arms around her legs. She glanced up when I came in, and relaxed, looking at me.


    "Poor Kitsei," she said as I sat down on my futon.


    "At least she won''t be wed to the lord," I said.


    "Yes," Amei said. "Though I''m somewhat afraid for her. Some infertile Nageeya are sent to convents, but Kitsei might be too old to go."


    "What would happen to her if she wasn''t accepted at a convent?" I asked.


    "I don''t know," Amei said. "I don''t want to think about it. Kitsei wanted to be a mother all her life; I knew her since she was a little girl, and all she would talk about was having children."


    I frowned. "That is sad," I said.


    Amei nodded, laying back on her futon. "And now you and I have a chance to be the seventh wife."


    I hung my head, standing to remove my blue robe. I removed my under-robe and pulled the sleeping shift that was provided over my head. I crawled under the blanket of my futon, taking out the ribbon from my hair. I laid down, resting my head on the round pillow and staring at the wall. I could hear conversation and the floor harp below me, and though I was tired, I knew it would be one of those nights where I wouldn''t be able to go to sleep.


    All day, I hadn''t thought of Mother, Father, and Grandmother. I didn''t know if I would be able to write them. Perhaps if I failed, Lord Ashiro-han would send word to my parents. I had promised Father I would not fail. He had told me to be brave¡­I didn''t feel much as I lay there on the futon, but I was sure that if I got closer to the potential of being Lord Ashiro-han''s wife, I would feel fear.


    I wondered perhaps if it was the lord I had seen standing on that balcony. That same wave of sadness had hit me¡­I could not know for sure if it was Lord Ashiro-han. I had never seen his face, so he could have walked right past me and I could not have known it was him.


    I closed my eyes, but all I saw was that snarling mask from seven years ago, the hand catching the lily¡­


    I rolled over onto my other side. Six wives laid to rest at the city temple¡­for what reason? Father had told me that no one raised an eyebrow at the deaths until the third wife died, and when the fourth, fifth, and sixth wives had followed suit, there was much cause for suspicion. But what was a lord to gain from six deaths? Was there a reason his wives could not live?


    I found my heart hammering in my chest. I put a hand there to try and calm it. I realized that the floor harp had stopped playing, but the familiar sound of a pluck-stringed instrument carried through the thin walls of the guest house. I strained my ears. Why, the tune that played was none other than Usikawa''s Lullaby.


    Something pained my heart. I thought of being ill, shivering under a thin blanket, soaked in sweat, having vomited everything Mother had brought me. I remembered Father, coming into the room with his flute, sitting at the foot of my futon, playing the Dance of the Fishes, singing Usikawa''s Lullaby¡­


    I found myself rising from the futon, going to the door to the balcony, sliding it open, stepping out into the frozen air to look out over the lord''s house. The sound of the taka still carried over the rooftops of the buildings; every lantern that hung from the eaves of the roofline swung in a gentle breeze, the storm having blow over the previous night. I could see lights through the walls and silhouettes of servants going by, and for a moment I had to stop and think about how many people really lived within those walls. This was what I saw from my window at home; I could not see anything but the rest of the buildings from that balcony, but I was sure I would be able to see the city glittering on the coast from somewhere else on the island.


    The sound of the taka was coming from the building directly across from the guest house, cut off by the wall. I could see a man sitting there, silhouetted by a flickering light, and I could see the neck of the taka as he plucked its strings. Another man came into view through the wall, bowing before the man on the taka. The man on the taka stopped playing, and the tune of the lullaby died. I watched the smaller man hand over what looked to be scrolls; I heard muffled voices as the man with the taka took the scrolls.


    Why, the man on the taka had to have been Lord Ashiro-han¡ªwhy else would a servant bow to the man?


    The servant took his leave. I was sure it was Hotaki, by the way he walked and the way he snapped open his fan as he left. I watched Lord Ashiro-han''s shape open each of the scrolls after setting the taka down. He stood, and the light in the room went out, showing that he had left.


    I retreated back into the room, sliding the balcony door shut. Amei was snoring, and Omei and Fumei were coming in with candles. I crawled back onto the futon as they came in, the vision of Lord Ashiro-han playing the taka still in my mind.

 Chapter Seven

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    I watched Fumei, Omei, and Amei move gracefully with the sound of the floor harp. The vases on their heads barely moved as they bent their knees, nearly touching the floor. I had no idea what sort of dance they performed, but it was common for Nageeya to dance at events for nobles and royalty.


    Hotaki finished with the song. The Nageeya finished dancing, taking the vases from their heads.


    "Excellent," he said. He looked at me. "You are not expected to dance, Yori," he said.


    "I would hope not," I replied. He motioned to the floor harp.


    "Can you play music?"


    I shook my head. "I can''t even sing."


    "No matter. Dancing, playing music, and singing are not necessary, though good skills to have. A lord''s wife is the hostess and entertainer of the house."


    I wondered if that would make me a less appealing choice for Lord Ashiro-han.


    Hotaki clapped his hands; the servants came forward and took the vases as the Nageeya knelt back down. Another servant came through the door, setting a tray of tea on the low table in the center of the room. Hotaki lifted the lid off the teapot and dropped a few tea leaves inside.


    "You all know the basics of serving tea?" he asked.


    Everyone around the table, including me, nodded.


    "Good," he said. "Starting today, you shall begin your bridal tests."


    "Oh, no," Omei said. "I haven''t had enough practice."


    "Don''t worry," Hotaki said. "You will have a chance to practice. Fumei shall go first at twelve, and you will go two hours later. Then Amei and Yori shall go tomorrow."


    Fumei turned her black eyes on me. "She doesn''t even know what a bridal test is."


    "It is true," I said. "I don''t."


    "You shall have practice as well. A bridal test is very simple; it is how a woman proves the wife''s duties to the nobleman. It is also one of the few times a woman is allowed to interact with her husband before the wedding." Hotaki smiled at me. "Would you like to practice now?"


    "I¡­certainly."


    He snapped his fan open and waved to the Nageeya. "Please clear away from the table."


    They all stood, backing away. Hotaki stood, offering a hand to help me up. He led me out of the guest house into the garden.


    "The bridal test will happen in the tea house of Lord Ashiro-han''s garden," he said. He put his hands on my shoulders and I knelt on the cold stone.


    "Komo will lead you there before Lord Ashiro-han comes," he said. "And you will not look at him once."


    He put his shoes on and went across the garden, then turned and came back towards me. I kept my eyes at his feet, making sure to not look at his face. He approached me and stopped.


    "You will now untie the thongs on his shoes, and take them off for him."


    I looked up; Hotaki gently slapped the top of my head with his fan.


    "And don''t look at him!"


    "Of course." I looked down at Hotaki''s feet. He had simple slip-on shoes, but I pretended to untie imaginary thongs and take them off his feet. I set them on the stone set aside for shoes.


    "Now what?" I asked.


    "He will hand you a small bowl of tea leaves. You still must not look at him, and he will say, ''In this garden, a flower between us must bloom,'' to which you reply, ''A seed must be planted for a flower to grow, and I am your garden, my lord''." There was a pause. "Can you repeat that?"


    "''A seed must be planted for a flower to grow, and I am your garden, my lord''," I said.


    "Excellent. You have a wonderful memory." He closed his fan. "Now what you do is you stand, bow, and lead him into the tea house backward. You must never look at him, and never turn your back on him."


    I stood, bowed, and reached behind me to slide the door open. I backed into the room, and Hotaki made me stop.


    "You can now turn and have your side facing him. Set the tea leaves on the table."


    I did so, making sure that I didn''t turn my back on Hotaki. I faced him, waiting for his next order.


    "Now, you will offer him your arm, and take him to his seat, which will face the door."


    I offered him my arm, and led him to the seat that faced the door. He stopped me.


    "Now," he said, "you will remove his coat, and hang it by the door. There will be a place for that."


    He sat cross-legged at the table, motioning for me to kneel at his right side. I didn''t look around at the Nageeya, who were standing aside watching me. I knelt, and Hotaki gave me further instruction.


    "You will serve his tea like you would any other person, but you must remember to never look at him, and speak only when he speaks to you."


    I nodded.


    "You will be wearing a mask, however," Hotaki said, "so Lord Ashiro-han will not pick any of you judged on appearance. He also will not know any of your names."


    "Why''s that?" Amei asked.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    "So he doesn''t pick favorites with family names. It''s an ancient tradition for noble families," he said. "None of you would know; this is your first time with the bridal tests."


    He stood, opening his fan to motion for us to continue with our tea. The Nageeya took their places, and as I was the youngest there, I served the tea.


    "He will ask you questions," Hotaki said. "Some of them are simple, and some of them will be more complex, and some of them will not even have an honest answer. How you answer them will determine the final score of your tests, and weigh in on Lord Ashiro-han''s decision on who will be his bride." He bowed. "I must go now, and help my lord prepare for the test."


    He left us alone in the house, and at once, the Nageeya around me began to speak.


    "Fumei''s going this afternoon!" Amei said. "And so are you."


    Omei looked nervous, drumming her fingers on the tabletop. We all looked over at Fumei, who drank her tea in silence.


    "Are you nervous?" Omei asked.


    "Of course," Fumei replied. "Who wouldn''t be? I''m going to look at him so I fail, at least."


    "How can you think like that?" Amei cried. "At least try."


    Fumei finished her tea and stood. "I''m going to go get ready," she said. "Komo should be here soon to help me¡ªsend her up when she comes in."


    She left us, heading up the stairs to the room we all shared. I drank my tea without saying anything. Now the butterflies formed in my stomach. I thought of being alone in the garden house with the lord for possibly a whole hour, questioned on trivial things and having to make sure I didn''t look at him. It was the closest I would have been to him in seven years¡ªthe closest ever. It would also have only been the second time I would be in his presence. I didn''t know what he looked like, but I would have to make sure I never let my eyes fall to his face.


    I finished my tea and left the Nageeya to go outside. There wasn''t much for me to do while waiting around, and I thought a walk in the garden would do me some good.


    Rain sprinkled from the sky, the dark clouds an omen to the storms that were to come. I slipped my feet into my shoes and hurried across the stone garden under the shelter of the pavilion. Dried brown vines went up the supports of the structure, and I found myself again wondering if the island was lovely in full season.


    The garden door to the rest of the lord''s house was open. I could see nothing but a walled walkway; perhaps Hotaki had left the door open on his way to his lord. I went forward, the raindrops feeling like cold kisses on the top of my head, and grabbed the wood door. I stopped as I was about to close it, seeing two black-clad servants cross the pathway, and what looked to be a smaller doorway to the grounds.


    Komo had never told me it was forbidden to leave the guest quarters¡­


    I looked over my shoulder at the little house. No one had come outside. Would I surely have been missed?


    I slipped into the walkway and shut the door behind me. The rain was coming down heavier, but I ignored it and went to the end of the walkway, where it branched off in two directions opposite the door I was standing in front of. I looked up and could see the towers of the house hanging over me, and servants passing by on balconies. I looked down the left pathway, which curved out of my view. The right-hand one carried on, until the stone wall ended and was lined by barren shrubs.


    I took that one, looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn''t being followed. The smell of wood smoke greeted my nose as I went, and the path curved off under the shelter of pines, and from there, I could see a gathering of low single-story houses, and a few masked servants out by an open fire. A basin of water sat near the fire, and I could see the servants washing clothing in the basin.


    I ducked behind the shrubs as the servants looked my way. I peered through the tangle of thorny branches at them, and once they had looked away, I straightened and hurried on my way down the path, under the shelter of thick pine branches. It was almost dark underneath the branches, which sheltered my head from the rain. The path sloped down, continuing under the pine trees, until it stopped at a staircase. I paused, standing at the base of the stone stairs, looking up to see where they would go.


    I could see only the sky at the top of the stairs. Taking my risk, I trotted up the stairs, the rest of the island coming into view when I reached the top. The stairs ended on another stone walkway, which branched out like the seven-headed dragon of the emperor''s house, and from where I stood at the top of the stairs, I could see the distant coastline.


    The pathway sloped down, and I could see a walled area with more low, flat buildings, and I could see men practicing with short swords. I guessed those were the barracks for the lord''s soldiers. It had never occurred to me that the soldiers might have lived on the island with their lord. I looked about the rooflines of the lord''s house. Why, the island was its own city, its citizens the servants and soldiers of Lord Ashiro-han''s house.


    I didn''t know where to go from there. Half of me was screaming to return to the guest house before I was caught, but no one had told me not to leave the guest area, so was I really doing anything wrong? One could not have disobeyed an order that had never taken place.


    I turned and went down the stairs, passing the servants, back to where I had debated which path to take. I ducked out of view when I heard voices and footsteps; Komo passed by, leading Fumei¡ªor at least I assumed it was Fumei, from the way the woman walked. She had a mask on, and was wearing a robe of pale blue, similar to the one I wore, but her robe had open sleeves that flowed behind her, and was painted with deep blue birds near the white trim. She had a mask over her face; it was painted to look like a woman''s face, with tiny red lips and pale pink circles on the cheeks. They passed by, through the door I had stood before.


    I went along the left-hand path, which curved around the building where I had heard Lord Ashiro-han playing on his taka the night before. I wondered if that was where he had his personal chambers, or if he was simply staying there to overlook the guest house, and get a look at the women seeking to be his bride.


    "You must not feel it much."


    I stopped. I could hear a voice¡ªHotaki''s¡ªthrough the thin wall. I strained my ears to listen.


    "I suppose. It pains me to think of it too much." The other speaker was another man, his voice deeper than Hotaki''s. "Do you know what I mean?"


    "Do you mean¡­"


    "Yes. I try to think of sadness, I try to focus on sadness, but it makes me heartbroken to think of how I cannot feel sadness."


    I strained my ears to hear what this deeper-voiced man spoke of.


    "You feel it, don''t you?" the deep-voiced man said.


    I heard Hotaki sigh. "You speak of my father."


    "Forgive me¡ªI shouldn''t have brought it up."


    "No, no¡­" Hotaki''s voice broke. I drew closer to the house, trying to hear what he was going to say next. He took a deep breath. "I know what it feels like to try and mourn, but only to be filled with this emptiness that eats away at everything." Hotaki''s voice broke again, and I burned inside to know what he and this other man spoke of.


    "It is my fault."


    Hotaki said nothing in reply. There was a silence, before the rustling of clothes and the creak of floorboards told me that someone was standing. "It is almost noon. You should head to the tea house."


    I started¡ªHotaki was speaking to Lord Ashiro-han¡ªthough, what of, I didn''t know.


    "These women," said the lord, "are they, in your opinion, suitable?"


    "I would think so. The Nageeya are raised to be noblemen''s wives."


    "What of this merchant''s daughter?"


    "Matamura Yori?"


    "Yes."


    My skin crawled to hear them speak of me.


    "She¡­she lacks the things that would make her seem fitting to be married to a nobleman. She cannot dance, or sing, or play an instrument¡ª"


    "A nobleman seeks to marry a woman, not an entertainer, Hotaki," Lord Ashiro-han said. "Though I wish it had not come to this."


    "Teku said that the time is right. The stars have aligned in your favor."


    "And if he is wrong?"


    "A priest is never wrong with his predictions, Ashiro," Hotaki said. I was surprised to hear him refer to the lord by his name. "You must bear a son."


    "And see the death of another wife?"


    "You must, or we will never be free."


    The door slid open. I backed away and hurried down the stone path as Hotaki and Lord Ashiro-han stepped out, and as much as I wanted to get a look at the lord''s face, I could not risk exposing my eavesdropping. The two men went the way Fumei and Komo had gone, and I got a full view of Lord Ashiro-han''s back as they went through the door. The white dragon stared at me with its fangs bared, and as I backed down the path towards the door to the guest house, the lord began to turn and look over his shoulder. I turned and fled through the door, slamming it behind me before the two men could get a good look at me.

 Chapter Eight

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    Omei and Fumei had said nothing of their bridal tests¡ªeach one had come back that afternoon after spending a half hour with the lord, tossed their masks on the table, and returned to the room to change. They had been silent all throughout supper and went to bed without a word. It made me more nervous than I already was. If a Nageeya could fail, what was there left for me, a merchant''s daughter?


    I awoke earlier than I had intended to that day, possibly from my nervousness. I tried to fill the hours that went by with things that distracted me, like the seashell toss game, but everything brought my mind back to the thought of what I would have to go through.


    To add onto all of that, my brain was filled with wondering about the conversation I had overheard between Hotaki and Lord Ashiro-han. What did Hotaki know about emptiness? What was it about his father he didn''t want to speak of? And what did he mean about never being free?


    Omei, Fumei and I played the seashell toss game while Amei went to see the lord; I was so distracted that Fumei snapped at me and took the beads I had been betting with, and kicked me out of the game. I went outside, putting my shoes on and being careful when I walked, as the rain from the day before had become a layer of ice over the stone in the garden.


    The ice hung from the trees like tears, frozen in their fall to the ground. I shivered, tucking my robe tighter around me to minimize how much of my neck was exposed to the cold. The temperatures had dropped overnight, and my hope for an early spring was beginning to look bleak.


    I wondered how my family was doing back on the mainland, and if Mother had told Yoshi of my being sent to Lord Ashiro-han''s island. Perhaps even my brother would be proud of me if I became Lord Ashiro-han''s wife. He lived in a different region, under the rule of a different lord, but he and I would be alike¡ªboth being servants of the lords of our regions.


    That was only if I succeeded. I had promised Father not to fail, but it was hardly in my power. The final decision was Lord Ashiro-han''s, not mine, and I had no idea if I would have been the ideal choice for a lord''s bride.


    A chirping broke me out of my thoughts. I lifted my head, wondering where it could have come from. I looked over the garden, hearing the chirping coming from the fountain. I hurried to the fountain, being careful not to slip like Amei had before she left (she had to go back inside and change into the robe Omei had worn, and was late for the test), and peered into the fountain. The rain that had fallen in the day before was now frozen, but I could see a little bird there, flapping one wing desperately. It was small, and had the appearance of a warbler, but its beak was bright red, and its feathers were black, shining with blue-green, and its stomach was white.


    I reached for it, and it flapped in panic. It couldn''t get away, and I suddenly realized that its other wing was trapped in the ice.


    I stopped, and looked back at the house. "Wait here," I said to the bird, though it couldn''t understand me, and there was really nowhere it could have gone. I hurried back to the house and went inside, forgetting to take off my shoes. I went past the two Nageeya playing their game and into the tiny kitchen where the servants had prepared our meals. The basin for washing dishes was still full of warm water, and I took a bowl, dipped it in the water, and carried the filled bowl outside, ignoring the questions from Omei and Fumei.


    The bird panicked again when it saw me, but I got a firm grip on it without crushing its little body, and began to pour the warm water over the ice where the wing was trapped. The bird began to screech in terror, but its flapping and squirming helped free its wing from the ice. I poured the last of the warm water, and the bird freed itself from my hand, flying up and away from me into the pine trees.


    "You''re welcome," I said aloud, feeling a little better about myself. Father had always told me that the Creator smiled down on those who were kind to animals, and he had told me once of the old tales that spirits would conceal themselves as animals in need of help to test a human''s kindness.


    I wondered about the appearance of the bird. It was certainly like nothing I had seen before, but now it was gone.


    I returned the bowl to the kitchen and went to the upstairs room, where Fumei was combing her hair. I stopped when I saw her, aiming to back out of the room, but she turned and saw me.


    "What are you doing?" she demanded. "Stop hanging about like a ghost."


    I stood still, unsure of what I should have done. She snorted and continued combing her hair.


    "You don''t want to spend a moment alone with me, do you?" she asked.


    I shook my head. "No," I replied.


    "You don''t like me?"


    "I can''t say if I like you or not," I said. "I''ve only known you for a few days, and you''re making it dreadfully hard for me to like you."


    She stopped and set the comb down. "I must admit that I am hard to like," she said.


    I hesitated to answer. Her voice was softer, and I wondered if there was some reason she was so unlikeable. She shrugged and ran the comb through her hair again.


    "I just hope that Lord Ashiro-han finds me as unlikeable as all you do," she said. "I don''t want to be married to him."


    "I promised my family I wouldn''t fail," I said.


    Fumei flicked her black eyes in my direction. "Is there a reason?"


    I came forward and sat on my futon, watching the light shine on Fumei''s hair. "Sometimes I feel like I can never make my family proud," I said. "Especially Mother. I feel like marrying the lord will make her see me as someone¡­someone worth something."


    "You were the one whose family lost all their money."


    My head jerked up. Fumei was grinning at me slyly.


    "Word gets around. You were going to get married to someone, weren''t you?"


    I thought of Itsua-han¡ªI hadn''t thought of him since Hotaki''s visit to my home. What was he doing now? I wondered if he was looking for another young bride fresh out of girlhood.


    I wondered if Father had even told him of my acceptance to the lord''s island.


    "I was," I said.


    "If you do succeed," Fumei said, "you''ll be the woman of highest honor in our region. That''s something to reach for."


    "And you don''t want it?"


    Fumei shook her head. "No." She lifted her hair and twisted it onto her head, tying it with her ribbon in the butterfly hairstyle the Nageeya all wore. "I don''t want to be a woman whose only worth is seen in how many children she can produce."


    I paused, thinking on it. It was true¡ªwomen in our land were mostly seen as a vessel to carry an heir. Lord Ashiro-han was only marrying because he was growing old, and needed to produce a son to carry on the rule of his region.


    "Some people marry for love," I said. "My brother did." Which was true; he fell in love with his general''s daughter before they were married, and the marriage was approved by both fathers.


    "Nageeya don''t."


    I was about to reply when the door slid open and Amei came in, pulling her mask off her face. She threw it on her futon and began untying the sash on her robe, pulling her robe off in the process.


    "You''re back early. Are you crying?" Fumei asked.Stolen novel; please report.


    Amei flung the robe off her and crumpled onto her futon, burying her face in the pillow. A muffled sob sounded from her, and her shoulders shook.


    Fumei rolled her eyes and whacked Amei with the comb. "Why are you crying?"


    Amei lifted her head. "I don''t want to marry him," she said. "He was horrible."


    I felt my face go cold.


    "Horrible how? He wasn''t bad to me," Fumei said.


    Amei wiped at her tears. "He¡­he told me I was clumsy. He said I needed to gather myself more. And I¡­I snapped at him, and he made me leave."


    Fumei cackled. "You have some nerve to snap at a lord," she said.


    "It''s not something to laugh about!" Amei cried before burying her face in her pillow again. Fumei slapped Amei''s behind with the comb.


    "At least you won''t be marrying him."


    Komo entered the room. Fumei hit Amei to make her go silent as Komo''s blank eyes went over the room.


    "Yori?"


    "Present," I said, my heart in my throat.


    "You are going to go early, as Amei was dismissed earlier than attended. We are going to get ready."


    I rose to my feet, my heart pounding in my chest. I glanced at Amei, weeping on her futon, and silently swore to Father that I would make it.


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    The lord''s garden sat in the center of the island, ringed by pine trees and a stone wall. The tea house sat in the back of the garden, facing the door in the wall, and a maze of platforms and sunken areas were all that remained of the flowers and bushes that filled the garden in the spring and summer months.


    I knelt at the tea house, no shoes on my feet, shivering in the cold. The mask, painted with red lips and pink cheeks to look like a woman, complete with my number on the forehead, felt hot and stuffy despite the cold. I realized, with a start, that the last time I had worn a mask was at the funeral of the sixth wife. This time that I wore one, again, it was because of Lord Ashiro-han.


    I heard the garden door creak open and quickly lowered my gaze so that I would not look at the lord. The faint sound of the wood sandals clacking on the stone met my ears, and though my eyes burned to see the wearer, I kept them locked at my knees.


    The sound of the sandals drew closer, and two socked feet came into view, stopping just before me. I bent over and began to untie the thongs, my hands shaking as I thought of how close I was to Lord Ashiro-han. He took his feet from them once I was done, and I set his sandals aside. There was a silence between us, until his deep voice met my ears once again.


    "In this garden, a flower between us must bloom."


    I raised my eyes to his belt area, seeing his hands holding a small blue bowl. I lifted my hands to take it, racking my brain to remember what I was supposed to say.


    "A seed must be planted for a flower to grow, and I am your garden, my lord."


    I stood shakily, trying not to look at him, and reached behind me to open the door. It slid open easily, a wave of warm air hitting my back. I bowed, backing into the tea house, and turned to the side to set the bowl down. I turned back to him, feeling dread rush through me when I realized I had turned my back to him. He said nothing of it, and went to the table, and I followed him to help him out of his coat. I came around to his back, face-to-face with the white dragon. I reached up and ran my hands along his collar, gently pulling the coat off him. As I did so, I caught sight of a line of pink on the back of his neck that went up into his hairline.


    A scar?


    I hung the coat by the door as he took his seat. Of course he would have some reminder of the war, I thought. My father''s father had burn scars on his face. It was nothing unique, but the shape of the lord''s scar raised questions in my brain.


    I returned to the table and knelt at his right side, so close I could feel the warmth from him. I dropped the tea leaves in the boiling water, my hands still shaking, and stirred it with the wooden stick, the spiced scent of whatever leaf it was reaching my nose despite the mask. After a few stirs, I knew from instinct that the tea was ready, and took the long, deep spoon with the holes in it to fish out the leaves before I served the lord his tea.


    He took the cup as I handed it to him, and I caught sight of the inside of his left forearm, and the faded tattoos there. I almost dropped the cup, but caught myself before I did. Six small family zodiac symbols looked back at me, and for a moment, I wondered what my father''s dolphin would look like there.


    He held the cup in his hands, and I found my throat dry. It would have been nice to moisten it with tea, but I could not remove my mask in his presence.


    "You are the last of the women here?" he asked, breaking the silence, and making me jump in surprise.


    "Yes, my lord," I said in return, my voice sounding small and weak to me.


    "You seem tense."


    I didn''t know what to say in reply; under my mask, I bit my lip.


    He lifted his tea up and out of my view. I found my gaze following his hands, and quickly looked away before I could see his face. His hands were large, his arms of lean muscle, and I found myself suddenly afraid of him.


    "Why did you come here to my island?"


    "It wasn''t my decision, my lord," I said.


    He was silent for a few seconds. "If you had made your own decision, would you have come?"


    I couldn''t answer. I hung my head. "I don''t know, my lord."


    "Do you want to marry me?"


    Before I could think up of an answer, I blurted out, "No, my lord." I raised my hand to my mouth, my fingers hitting the wood of the mask, and looked away.


    "No?" His tone of voice sounded like amusement, but I couldn''t have told without looking at his face. "Honesty is not a sin. It is rather valuable, though one must learn to not be so blunt answering in truth."


    "Of course, my lord," I said. My face burned under the mask. I shouldn''t have spoken too soon.


    "I suppose, then, that you wouldn''t have come here through of your own free will."


    "No, my lord," I said.


    He raised his tea to his mouth again. I glanced at his free hand, resting on the table, and thought of how it was the same hand that had caught that lily I dropped. I almost wanted to speak to him of it, but it would have seemed foolish. He had looked up at me, and not just in my direction.


    A silence fell between us again, and as I served the lord''s second cup of tea, I found myself thinking of how no one seemed willing to give me specifics of what kind of man he was. Hotaki had simply given me the ''he is kind'' talk, seeming discomforted when I asked what he was like. I wanted to know about Hotaki¡ªwhy did he speak of his own father in such a way as I had overheard?


    "What is it that is most important to you?"


    "My lord?" I glanced in his direction, once again stopping myself before I looked at his face.


    "I asked this question of the women who came before you. What do you hold most important to you?"


    I hesitated. As a child, I had never thought much of it. What was important to me was simply honoring my family''s decision to marry me off to Itsua. For nine years, since I was nine years old, that had been the only thing on my mind, aside from the sorrow I felt knowing that I wouldn''t leave my region. I looked at my hands, soft and smooth from years of no hard labor, and back at the lord''s rough, square hands.


    "I never gave it much thought, my lord," I said. "For half my life I was only concerned with honoring my family''s decisions for my life." I folded my hands. "And again, here in your company, I wish not to bring humiliation to my family a second time."


    "A second time?"


    My face burned, and I was glad that I had the mask on. "I was going to be married to a man I didn''t want to marry, my lord," I said. "I prayed that I wouldn''t. My parents were furious with me, and I promised my mother that¡­that I would bring honor to the family, even if it means marrying you against my will. While it isn''t in my power to ensure that, and it''s not my decision, I am terrified to go home and fail."


    I could feel tears welling in my eyes, and I clenched my jaw to keep from letting a sob come out. I turned my face away from him, even though he couldn''t see me anyway behind my mask. I reached up under my mask to wipe at my eyes, ashamed that I would let myself cry in his presence.


    "The Creator answers prayers the way the Creator sees fit," Lord Ashiro-han said. "I don''t think that it was wrong that you prayed that you wouldn''t marry a man you didn''t want to marry."


    I turned back in his direction.


    "You will bring honor to your family somehow," he said. "Even if you do not succeed with this test, there is always another way to make your family proud."


    I didn''t say anything. I had intended on running away should I have failed the lord''s test, so my family would never have to look at my dishonorable face again.


    "I think I have had enough tea," he said. He stood, and I rose with him, heading to the door to fetch his coat. I helped him into it, studying each thread of the dragon embroidered on the back, wondering if it would make it onto my own skin. I went to the door before him, sliding it open with my head bowed. The tears were still running down my face, but it was fortunate that the lord couldn''t see.


    He came to the door and stopped, his hand on the doorway. I could tell he was looking at me, so I kept my head lowered. I felt his fingers on my chin, lifting my face.


    "Look at me," he said.


    My heart hammering, I raised my eyes to his face. I tried not to gasp. The first time I had seen his face¡­it was nothing like I had pictured in my mind. His eyes were what I had remembered from all those years ago¡ªdark and full of the same kind of sadness that I had felt dropping those lilies. What surprised me was that he was so much younger than I had first thought¡ªhe could have been no more than ten years Hotaki''s senior. Despite that, he looked aged, worn, like a man who had seen more than a man his age should have seen. I cannot say if I found him handsome, but there was something in his face that made me not want to tear my eyes away. His hand was still on my chin, and as he looked into my eyes, his thick brows drew together, making a knot between them.


    "I have seen those eyes before," he said.


    I lowered them away from him, and he released my face. He bowed to me, surprising me again, and I bowed in return.


    "Thank you," was all he said. He turned and went through the door.


    I stood in the doorway, watching him as he walked away. Once he had left the garden, I stepped back into the teahouse to wait for Komo to return. My legs gave out underneath me, and I crumpled to my knees. I pulled my mask off and laid my head on the table. I reached for the cup of tea which he had not finished and cradled it in my hands.


    Had he made the Nageeya look at him? Something stirred inside me; gooseflesh crept up my arms and back. He had recognized my eyes. It was impossible; he could not have seen my eyes from the distance of the balcony all those years ago.


    But he knew them. He claimed he had seen them before¡ªbut with eyes as plain as mine, he could have been thinking of anyone.


    He was so young¡­


    I closed my eyes and let the remainder of my tears fall onto the table, not moving until Komo came into the tea house to escort me back to the guest quarters.

 Chapter Nine

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    The next morning dawned with sunshine, but it did nothing to warm the frigid air over the island. I awoke with some sense of dread towards what the day would bring. The Nageeya were silent as we ate our breakfast, seeming to have the same sense of foreboding hanging over them as I did. Hotaki ate with us, but he said nothing to any of us before he left to join his lord.


    The four of us¡ªthe three Nageeya and I¡ªknelt around the table, a deep silence hanging over us, the slightest breath drawn in feeling too loud in the stillness.


    The door slid open. I glanced up, seeing Hotaki come in, holding four small scrolls. He went to Komo''s side; the blind woman was kneeling under the stairs, her eyes closed as if in meditation. I saw him bend towards her ear, and could hear the gentle hiss of whispering.


    Komo stood and came towards us, kneeling at the table. I glanced up again, and could see Hotaki tapping the four scrolls in his hand.


    "Three of you will be going home," he said. "On three scrolls, you have a note, and the payment for your families or houses for their gracious offer in sending you here. On only one scroll is the dragon of Lord Ashiro-han''s house. The one with the dragon is the next bride."


    He handed us the scrolls one by one, and each one of us opened them in turn. Fumei and Omei both looked relieved; Amei turned gray when she saw her scroll, swallowed, and closed her eyes.


    It was finally my turn. I lifted my scroll with trembling hands, seeing the number set in the wax, the same number that had been painted on my mask. I broke the wax seal and opened the scroll.


    Staring back at me were the gold eyes of the white dragon, its fangs bared and its body twisting and coiling on the deep blue field.


    I swallowed, my breath catching in my lungs. The air suddenly felt stale, and it was all I could do to keep from pitching forward in a faint.


    I glanced back at the Nageeya, then back at Hotaki. He gave me a look, holding out his hand. I gave him the scroll, and his eyes popped open, bulging from his face. He looked down at me.


    "You?" He looked at the scroll again. "You? It is¡­I didn''t think¡­Fumei and Omei are Nageeya, and they did exceedingly well, but¡­there must be some mistake." He rolled the scroll back up, placing the two pieces of wax together. Surely enough, the character for the number four appeared¡ªthe same character painted on my mask the day before.


    "Is it Matamura Yori?" Komo asked.


    "Yes," Hotaki replied, handing the scroll back to me.


    I didn''t want to look at the Nageeya. My eyes went to the scroll, staring at the dragon. There had to have been come mistake. Why would Lord Ashiro-han have chosen me out of highly skilled Nageeya?


    A nobleman seeks to marry a woman, not an entertainer, Hotaki.


    Lord Ashiro-han''s words echoed in my brain. I was, in the least bit, a woman. I was still a girl, by most standards. Was it something I had said that had caused him to see me as a more fitting candidate for a bride?


    "Komo," said Hotaki. "Please escort Yori upstairs, that you might prepare her to be presented to Lord Ashiro-han." He took the scroll from me, rolling it up and tucking it into his sleeve.


    "Of course."


    Komo and I stood, my feet feeling like they were frozen in blocks of ice, the floor heaving and tilting underneath me. The climb up the stairs felt like a mile long climb up the side of a mountain. I glanced down at the Nageeya. Amei and Omei looked away, but to my surprise, Fumei dipped her head, touching her fingers to her lips to sign that she was praying for me.


    What I didn''t know, at that time, was that it was the last I would see of the three Nageeya for several months.


    <hr noshade="noshade" size="1">


    I knelt at the steps of the altar inside the island''s temple, wearing the same robe as I had during the bridal test, but this time I wore no mask. My face was painted for the sealing ceremony, and I had one of the same straw hats on my head. Komo and Hotaki knelt at my sides, though I wished I had Mother and Father there with me. It was tradition that parents were present at the sealing ceremony to hand over the daughter, but Mother and Father had already handed me over to Lord Ashiro-han, their sending me to the island being the permission the lord needed to marry me.


    I didn''t look at the priest. I kept my eyes focused on the step of the altar, not looking up when I heard the clack of wooden sandals on the stone floor. A cage came into my view, two doves seated on their perch.


    I kept my head lowered; it was the first time Lord Ashiro-han would see my face. He already knew that he had chosen the daughter of Matamura Tatsuo; Hotaki had informed him before the sealing ceremony had begun. Lord Ashiro-han knew that I was only eighteen, and he knew that I was small, but he did not know my face. He had known my eyes. Would he not like my face? Would he be disappointed at his decision?


    He knelt, and the priest¡ªwho Hotaki had called Teku¡ªunrolled his scroll, beginning the words for the ceremony.


    The Creator calls us together


    One man and one woman


    United on this sacred night


    Bound together through the word


    Of the Creator


    "Inugoya Ashiro-han," he said, skipping the part where Lord Ashiro-han asked my parents'' permission, "and Matamura Yori-no, you have come before the Creator to seal this covenant in the Creator''s presence. May the blessing of the Creator and all the Seven Spirits of the Inner Circle of Paradise rest upon you, until the day on which the covenant is fulfilled by the union of man and wife."


    He then took my hand, dripped the wax on it, did the same for Lord Ashiro-han, and brought our hands together. I shuddered when Lord Ashiro-han''s hand touched mine; I started when I saw how tiny and pale my hand was compared to his. I did not look at his face, and kept my head lowered so my hat hid my face from his view.


    The priest made the blessing sign over our hands and pulled them apart. Lord Ashiro-han presented me with the cage of doves, and I took it, handing it over to Komo. He then stood and offered his hands to me. I took them, letting him help me to my feet. As I stood, he released one of my hands, and took my chin, lifting my face so I had to look at him. I swallowed when I again thought of how much younger he was than I had first expected. He was younger than Itsua-han, and Father and Mother¡­I looked away, my face burning with the thought of him being my future husband, of having to lay with him.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    He kept a hold on my chin and turned my head to the side, much like Hotaki had when he had first seen me. He then released me, stepping back to look me up and down. He said nothing, his scrutiny bringing heat to my face. His eyes alone felt like they were poking me, prodding and groping every inch of me. He stepped away from me and bowed. "Good night, Yori," he said. "I will see more of you in the days leading to the wedding."


    I bowed in return, surprised that he was leaving. He turned and left the temple, and Hotaki and Komo led me out the other door.


    "Why did he leave?" I asked.


    "He has important matters to attend to," Komo said. "He hasn''t the time to dine with us tonight."


    I fell into silence, picking at the wax in my palm. Komo and Hotaki led me on the path, taking me back to the guest quarters. I would be moved to my own chambers within the main building the next morning, to prepare me for the wedding.


    "Why me?" I asked aloud.


    "What?" Komo turned her face to me.


    "Why did he choose me of all the women?"


    "You answered honestly," Hotaki replied. "When he asked the other girls if they wanted to marry him, they all said yes."


    "You were the only one who said no," Komo said. "Lord Ashiro-han was looking for a wife with virtues. You happened to be honest, and he decided an honest wife, rather than a pretty one, or a talented one, or a skilled one, was the best choice."


    "He said he had seen my eyes before," I said.


    Komo and Hotaki stopped; Hotaki threw Komo a confused look. He drew Komo aside and went up the path out of earshot, whispering in her ear. I stood, watching them, puzzled at their behavior. Hotaki finished whispering to Komo and came back to my side.


    "Is there anything wrong?" I asked.


    "Nothing," Hotaki said. He offered me his arm and we set back on our way, joining Komo.


    They said nothing to me the rest of the night. When I returned to the empty guest room and set the doves on their stand, I let my mind wander to all that had happened, from the conversation between Hotaki and his lord, to Hotaki and Komo''s puzzlement when I told them that Lord Ashiro-han knew my eyes.


    I went to the bathhouse alone, peeling off the robes and letting my hair down. The hot water seeped into my bones and eased the tension and the ache, and I dipped my face in the water to wipe away the paint.


    I sank further into the water and rested my head on the stone ledge, staring up at the opening in the ceiling. The waning moon could be seen through it, and I could see the silhouette of a little bird perched there. I sat up, squinting to see the bird better, but it flew away, its chirp fading.


    Its shape was that of a warbler¡­could it have been the bird I saved from the ice?


    I didn''t think any more of it as I finished my bath. I was tired, and I didn''t want to spend the rest of my night kept awake by all the questions I was asking myself.


    <hr noshade="noshade" size="1">


    I turned my head over my shoulder to look at the reflection of my back. The Eung I had made into a tea that morning did well to ease the pain of the needles; all I felt was a dull ache.


    The dragon''s head sat at the base of my neck, the body coiled between my shoulder blades. Around it, my skin was red from the irritation, but by the day of the wedding, it would have looked better.


    I glanced at Teku; the priest was packing away the bamboo, his ink, and the needles he had used for the tattoo. Only a priest could make such wonderful pieces of art, as it was an extremely sacred ceremony. The incense still smoldered from his beginning prayer, and I was beginning to feel sleepy from laying on my stomach all day.


    He showed indifference to my state of nakedness. I had panicked when Komo had begun to pull my robe down to expose my upper body in Teku''s presence, only to realize how foolish I had been when Teku opened his tattoo case.


    He said nothing, bowed, and took his leave. I was alone in the room, and turned to look again at the dragon. It was outlined in deep green, its eyes the same gold, and the white of its scales looking like Teku had painted it on with a brush. I was convinced there was some sort of magic involved, as I had never seen a tattoo like it.


    Komo came in shortly after the priest had left. I lifted my robe to cover my chest, but stopped, remembering Komo''s blindness. She had a bowl with steam rising from it, and offered it to me. It was hot broth; my stomach growled when I realized I hadn''t had anything to eat all day. I took a sip of the broth and looked up at Komo, wondering about her eyes, the lack of the comb, why she of all people was master of the house.


    She knelt across from me, drawing a small scroll of parchment from her sleeve. "I did not think that you would have been Lord Ashiro-han''s choice."


    I paused, lowering the bowl from my face. "I didn''t think either."


    Komo unrolled the scroll, and I watched her flatten it on the floor, running her fingers over it. There was nothing on the scroll, but when I looked harder, I could see bumps and grooves.


    "You are the youngest of his brides," Komo said. "His first bride was a few years older than he was."


    I glanced up. Komo was still running her fingers over the paper.


    "He was younger than you when he took his first wife," Komo continued. "After the deaths of his father and his older brothers, his advisor urged him to bear an heir should any ill fate befall the last son. His advisor offered his own daughter to Lord Ashiro-han."


    "How did she die?" I asked.


    Komo''s fingers stopped moving. "What?"


    "The first wife," I said. "What caused her death?"


    "She fell," Komo said. "The stairs down to the cove were covered in ice, and she wasn''t being careful."


    "And the second wife?"


    Komo drew her brows together, her frown deepening the lines in her foxlike face. "Why do you ask?"


    "Surely if six women have died before me, I might see a pattern, and take the necessary precautions so that I might not suffer the same fate."


    Komo tensed, and I could tell I had hit a delicate subject.


    "I overheard Hotaki and Lord Ashiro-han when I was¡­when I was outside," I continued. "It was before my bridal test. Hotaki was saying that Lord Ashiro-han needed a son and¡ª"


    "Of course he does." Komo cut me off. "He is growing older, and he has been lord of our region for seventeen years without bearing a single child."


    I did the math in my head, though it took some time. If Lord Ashiro-han was younger than I was, possibly sixteen or seventeen, when he became lord and took his first wife, then seventeen years from then¡­he would only have been in his early thirties. "He must not be that old," I said. "Can he not father a child?"


    Komo paused. Her silence allowed me to continue.


    "If he has not fathered any children, certainly he might¡­he might not be able to."


    "It is not that he can''t," Komo said. "His last wife died in childbirth, along with the baby. The fourth one, too, suffered a miscarriage that killed her."


    "How can he be so cruel?"


    Komo lifted her head. "Cruel?"


    "Does he not know that each one of his wives will die? Are his wives not doomed by marrying him?"


    "He is not a prophet," Komo said. She sighed, rolling up her scroll. A sudden sadness came over her face, and as she tucked the scroll into her sleeve, I thought I saw a glistening of tears in her eyes. "Teku said the time is right."


    "The time is right for what?"


    "For the lord to bear his son." She stood. "There are things you must understand, Yori, and things you can''t until the time is fit for you to understand them. Your only duty is to be a wife, and, should the Creator will it, a mother."


    I turned my attention back to the broth to finish it as Komo left. At the end of the week, I would pass from the house of one man to the house of another man, with no choice of my own. If I had a choice, I would have gone far away to the west, where women could choose who they wanted to marry, where they were seen as their own person rather than the possession of their fathers and husbands.


    Something splashed into the broth; I realized it was a tear. I reached up and wiped it away, but I only felt more welling in my eyes. I set the bowl aside and put my face in my hands. My only purpose to these people of Lord Ashiro-han''s house was to carry a child. I wasn''t ready to be a mother.


    I stayed there, hunched over, my face buried in my hands as I wept for the future I would have to face.

 Chapter Ten

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    I ate my dinner alone, my room filled with the smell of the shrimp and fish I had with rice. It was a large enough room for me, much larger than my room at home. I stopped thinking of it as my home as I finished my letter to my family. Inugoya Island was my home now.


    Mother, Father, and Grandmother


    I suspect you already know of my acceptance to be Lord Ashiro-han''s bride. But here I am telling you myself. I cannot put into words the immense joy of knowing how well off our family will be once I am married. Yoshi and his family will receive much respect when people hear of his little sister being married to a lord. As for me, well, I am filled with excitement! I never could have imagined myself being a lord''s wife. I look forward to seeing you all, and Yoshi and his family, when you come for the wedding. When you see me again, I will no longer be a girl. I will be a woman!


    I sighed at the letter. It was a lie. A large ugly monster of a lie. I was not excited, I was not full of joy.


    I flung the brush across the room. It landed in the corner near the altar, splashing ink over the wall. I watched the black stain drip from the wall, and immediately regretted what I had done. I hung my head, grabbing at my hair.


    I will be a woman.


    The only time I was considered a woman was when I was no longer a virgin. I rubbed at my eyes; my back was sore from that morning, and while my eyes were heavy with exhaustion, I was certain I would be unable to sleep. I glanced at the doves in their cage; they were asleep, their heads leaning against each other.


    The sound of a stringed instrument greeted my ears. I raised my head. The strumming was that of a taka, and I recognized Usikawa''s Lullaby again. I stood and opened the balcony door, stepping out to look at the lights of the island. My room was in the main building of the lord''s house, on the wing that looked out over the pines and the wild, untamed ground of the island, but I could see Lord Ashiro-han''s room from there. To my surprise, he was sitting on the balcony, his whole shape tinted yellow from the lamps hanging from the eaves of the roof. He had his head bent over the taka as he plucked at its strings, and he hummed the lullaby as he played it. Even from the distance of my balcony, I could see his breath cloud rising in the cold.


    The hero Usikawa sang the song to his firstborn¡ªwas that why the lord played the song? Did he play it for his firstborn who had not survived birth? Did he play it for the son he had yet to father?


    A sort of ache tore through me, and I lowered myself to my knees to lean against the railing. I watched him; he did not look up once, his attention focused on the instrument as he played it, and even from that distance, I could see how gracefully his fingers moved over the strings. His voice wasn''t as pleasant to listen to as he hummed as my father''s voice was, but it carried the tune well enough.


    I watched him, mouthing the words to the song. I was no talented singer, but it brought me some comfort to whisper the words to myself.


    I watched his balcony door slide open. Hotaki came out, bowing to Ashiro. The lord did not stop playing, only giving Hotaki a nod of acknowledgement when the younger man knelt near him. Hotaki turned my way, looking at me, and I didn''t know whether I should have stayed there or gotten up and left. I saw him lean towards Lord Ashiro and say something to him; the lord stopped playing and looked my way. Both men were looking at me. I stood, bowed, and went back into my room.


    My legs felt odd, and as I blew out my candle and laid on the futon, I could hear the gentle murmur of Hotaki and Lord Ashiro speaking to each other. The young man was often in Ashiro''s presence, like they were brothers rather than simply friends. I closed my eyes and let the sound of the lord picking up a different tune on his taka lull me to sleep.


    I felt like I was only asleep for two minutes when my eyes popped open. I sat up, hearing the laugh from outside. It sounded like a child¡­


    I glanced at the balcony door and gasped. I could see the silhouette of a small figure, and could see small fingers tapping on the wood frame. I jumped from the futon, snatching up my thick night robe as the child darted away. I pulled it on and lunged for the door, flinging it open, stepping onto the balcony. The child stood there, its face hidden in shadow. It lifted a finger to its lips before turning and running. I caught a flash of a bald head, the open robe, a grin. The child had no shoes on its feet, and moved swiftly and quietly.


    I ran after the child, my feet flying across the freezing wood. My best guess was that it was a servant''s child, who was playing around the lord''s house without their parents'' knowledge.


    The child went around the corner, and I could see it heading for where Lord Ashiro-han had been playing the taka. I went around the corner as well, slipping on a patch of ice. I landed on my hands and knees, looking up. The child was standing near the lord''s door, watching me. I scrambled up, sudden panic ripping through me when the child opened the door and slipped inside. What would Ashiro do if he found a servant''s child in his room?


    I went to the door and stopped. It had been left slightly open, and I could hear the door on the inside open, and the gentle patter of bare feet. I peered in, the light from the lamps showing an empty futon. I slid the door open a little bit more, looked around the room, and stepped inside. It was empty.


    I saw the child standing in the doorway of the room. The child wiggled its fingers at me before shutting the door and running away. I stood alone in the dark room, debating whether or not I should have followed the child. The question of where the lord was filled my brain. What would a man be doing out of bed in the hours of the night?


    I backed out of the room and shut the door. My back hit something, and before I could shriek, a hand clapped over my mouth.


    "Silence. You''ll wake the whole household."


    Ashiro''s deep voice sounded in a whisper in my ear as he removed his hand from over my mouth. I moved away from him, bowing as low as I could.


    "Forgive me, my lord," I said. "I did not mean to intrude on your room. There was a child wandering about, and¡ª"


    "A child?" He opened the door and went into the room, looking about. He turned back to me; I hung back in the doorway and lowered my eyes from him.


    "What did the child look like?"


    "Bald, my lord," I said. "And¡­small. About four or five years. I couldn''t tell if it was a boy or a girl."


    He put one hand on his hip, and stroked his beard with the other. I looked up at him, and could see him staring at me from under the shadow of his dark brow. I realized how cold it was, and pulled my robe tighter around myself, watching the man I was to marry. I didn''t want to think of having to be his wife as I stood there in the doorway of his room.


    "I thought that perhaps it was a servant''s child," I said.


    He shook his head, looking away from me. "There are no children on this island," he said.


    "Surely some of the servants might have¡ª"


    "There are no children on this island. You might have been dreaming."


    "I was very much awake, my lord."


    "And the other night I was the moon," he said. "Some people have active imaginations."


    I fell into silence. It would have been disrespectful to have kept on contradicting his words. I stood there, waiting for him to dismiss me. He held out his hand to me.


    "Come here," he said.Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.


    I hesitated. He sighed, beckoned again.


    "I''m not going to hurt you."


    I stepped forward, shutting the door behind me, offering my hand to his outstretched one. He took my hand, pulling me close to him as he did so. I wanted to ask him what he was doing out of bed, and why he was so insistent that there were no children on the island. There must have been a hundred servants. Surely none of them would be so¡­continent.


    "Your hands are freezing," he said. He took both of mine in both of his, his rough fingers closing over my hands. As he lifted my hands, I could see his inner arms, and the pair of dolphins there. He noticed me staring, and pulled his sleeve up further to show me.


    "I owe a great debt to your father''s house," he said. "I now belong to your family."


    I said nothing. He took me by the shoulders and turned me, moving my hair aside and pulling the collar of my robe down to see the top of the dragon''s head. I shuddered, tensed and poised to flee, but he released me and turned me back to face him. He took both my hands again and lifted them to his face, his breath warming them.


    "Your room isn''t too cold, is it?" he asked.


    "It''s warm enough, my lord."


    "You''re an unearthly shade of white," he said. He didn''t release my hands, and though I wanted to pull them away, I didn''t want to disrespect him by showing discomfort in his presence.


    He saw my face and released me, tucking his hands into his sleeves. "You should return to your room."


    I was no longer sleepy, but I bowed to him, showing obedience to his suggestion. "Of course, my lord," I said. I turned to open the balcony door so I could go back to my room, but I heard his voice.


    "Wait."


    I turned to him, my hand frozen on the wooden door frame. He beckoned me forward again, and I took a step towards him, unsure of what he wanted from me.


    "Should you see a child again," he said, "Be sure to tell Komo, and no one else."


    "Certainly, my lord," I said.


    "Good-night, Yori."


    I bowed and took my leave. The air was still as I stepped out of his room and shut the door behind me. I glanced back at it, wondering if, for any reason, he might have followed me. I paused, looking over the balcony at the tangle of glowing lights that hung from the rooftops.


    Why would there have been no children? Why had he so strongly denied the presence of a child on an island so heavily populated?


    I continued on my way back to my room, stepping around the patch of ice I had slipped on only minutes earlier. A faint breeze blew over the island, the chimes that hung below the balcony swinging and twinkling together, the only sound in the air. I heard no child''s laugh, no taka playing faintly.


    A chill that wasn''t from the breeze crept through my body from inside. I hurried to my room, onto my futon, and under the warmth and protection of my thick blankets.


    <hr noshade="noshade" size="1">


    Hotaki and Komo joined me for breakfast the next morning, after Komo made me show Hotaki the dragon on my back. She pulled the back of my robe down so Hotaki could look at it, and I felt his fingers tracing over the lines of the dragon. I shuddered¡ªnot because of the indignity one might have expected me to feel, but that, for a moment, I was nothing more than an object being passed from hand to hand.


    Hotaki returned to his place at the table, and I pulled my robe back up, tightening it against the cold.


    "How do the wedding robes go?" he asked Komo.


    She grinned and waved a hand in front of her eyes. "I assume it''s going well," she said, "though I cannot see for myself."


    Hotaki glanced at me over the rim of his teacup. "Perhaps you need a witness," he said.


    "It''s too soon for her to see it," Komo said.


    I stared into my bowl of dumplings, not feeling the cheer or the anticipation of the wedding that was to come. My head was full of the events of last night, and I wondered if Ashiro had told Komo of my seeing the child. If he had, Komo showed nothing of it. I wanted to ask so many questions of the two of them, but didn''t know where to start. I knew for a fact that too many questions would make them less than willing to share their knowledge. I looked at Hotaki, wondering of his strange closeness to Ashiro. A strange jolt went through me, and I looked away. A lord was not so close to his subjects unless¡­


    I shook my head. I didn''t think there was anything¡­anything so intimate between the two of them, and I felt foolish for letting such thoughts fill my head.


    "What''s bothering you?"


    I looked up from my bowl. Hotaki was watching me, and for a moment I regretted those delicate thoughts towards him. I lowered my head. "I''m just thinking."


    "You seem distracted."


    I took a bite of my dumpling, chewing thoughtfully as I did so. "Of course I was," I said. "Naturally I would be distracted if I was thinking of something else."


    Hotaki chuckled. "What distracted you? You do seem distant. Did you get enough sleep last night?"


    I washed the dumpling down with a sip of tea. My reflection had, that morning, shown my lack of sleep the previous night. "Hardly," I said. I didn''t know if I should have told them of the child. "I was with Lord Ashiro-han¡­"


    I saw Hotaki glance at Komo, who suddenly lifted her head.


    "It was brief," I said quickly. "I¡­I was out walking the balcony for fresh air." It felt strange to lie to them. "And I came across him."


    "Oh, yes," Hotaki said. "I remember you being out of your room last night."


    I thought of seeing Hotaki and Ashiro as the lord played the taka. "It was later than that," I said. "I had a dream where¡­where I saw a child."


    "A child?" Hotaki appeared amused. "Was it a strange dream?"


    "I would say so," I said. "The child had no hair, and ran to the lord''s room from the balcony."


    "Hm." Komo took a sip of her tea. "It''s a strange dream."


    "Dreams are always strange," Hotaki said.


    He and Komo showed no alarm to my mention of a child. I pursed my lips. Ashiro had seemed so persistent in his denial of a child''s presence, but perhaps my mention of seeing the child as a dream brought Hotaki and Komo no alarm.


    Komo finished her dumplings and stood. "We must at least try the fitting of the wedding robes on you," she said to me. "When you''re done, of course."


    I wasn''t finished with my food, but I stood anyway. "Certainly," I said.


    Hotaki helped himself to my unfinished bowl. I said nothing to him, and simply followed Komo into the hall.


    Surprisingly for a blind woman, she navigated the halls expertly, as if she could see the whole time. She placed each step with confidence, even moving out of the way if a servant was walking in my direction.


    I watched a servant pass by us. I wondered how they themselves walked about without eyeholes for their masks. I had never seen so many masks aside from the three funerals I had been to.


    "Why do the servants wear masks?" I asked Komo.


    She paused. "What?"


    "The servants. They all wear masks."


    "Oh, that." Komo smiled and shook her head. "It''s an old rule that Lord Ashiro-han''s grandfather made. He didn''t like seeing the servant''s faces, and he especially didn''t like when his children fooled around with servants. So, he demanded all servants wore masks, so the nobles wouldn''t be distracted. The rule stuck."


    I watched the servant go through a door. "It works," I said. "I can''t tell if they''re men or women." Though somehow, Komo''s answer didn''t satisfy me. I remained silent as she led me into a room where three young women were putting robes on a dummy.


    I gasped when I saw the robes. They were of the whitest of whites, purer than snow, and seemed to glow. As they hung the robes on the dummy, I could see the shimmer of a dragon embroidered along the bottom. One of the women was painting pale blue flowers and brown branches on the bottom of the outer robe as it was hung on the dummy. The sleeves were wide and long, the branches and flowers already painted on them, and under the robe were more layers of alternating blue and white. It was so much more splendid than the robe that was being made for my wedding to Itsua.


    Naturally, it would have been¡ªI was becoming a lord''s wife.


    "Yori is going to try her robe on," Komo said.


    The seamstresses pulled the outer robe from the dummy and laid it aside so as not to smudge the fresh ink. They removed each layer¡ªfour in all¡ªand waited for Komo to help me out of the layers of my clothing.


    The silk was cold, sending a chill through me, but the seamstresses worked quickly to put everything on me, securing each layer with its coordinating belt, before putting the final robe on. They secured it with its wide blue belt, and laid the sleeveless black coat over the robe. The black coat was worn as the parents escorted the bride to the temple, and removed during the ceremony.


    Masks were worn at weddings by the bride and groom only¡ªthe bride removed the groom''s mask during the ceremony, and the groom removed the bride''s mask. It was an ancient tradition that symbolized the handing over of each other to their spouse.


    I looked down. A married woman''s robes were folded over the left, opposite an unmarried woman''s. The seamstress had folded it over for a married woman, and I felt the odd numbness of my realization.


    "How does it fit?" Komo asked.


    "Somewhat large," the younger seamstress said.


    "It doesn''t matter." Komo shook her head. "We can simply do the appropriate tucking."


    One of the seamstresses came behind me and pulled the back of the collar down so that the dragon''s head was visible. I turned and looked in the mirror that hung on the wall, staring at my face made whiter by the pale colors of the robe. Itsua had said I looked unhealthy. As I looked at my face¡ªthe thin lips, the narrow eyes, the round nose¡ªI began to study my eyes as hard as I could, trying to see if there was anything recognizable in them. I sighed and lowered my gaze. Nothing but the plain brown I had inherited from Mother.


    I allowed the seamstresses to help me out of the robes. I would not put them on again until my wedding, which would take place in two days. The fast approach of the biggest event of my life was like a storm tearing across the land towards me. I felt, as I stood there watching my reflection while the seamstresses pulled the robes off, that even though the weight of the silk was being lifted off me, a heavier weight was being placed on my shoulders.


    I watched my face as I pulled my robes back on and tied the belt. The weight of knowing that my only purpose in Ashiro''s eyes was to bear a son rested heavy on me. He could have picked anyone, so long as she gave him the son he wanted, but somehow his decision had come to me.


    Komo led me from the room, saying things about the wedding that was to come, though I hardly heard her, buried in my thoughts.


    "There are things you must understand, Yori, and things you can''t until the time is fit for you to understand them."


    When would the time be fit for me to understand?

 Chapter Eleven

    <div>


    <div>


    I looked up into the branches of the pine. A bird''s chirp caused me to stop, as it sounded familiar to me. A faint wind rustled the needles, a shower of them falling on my head and shoulders. As I looked up, I could see a flash of black and white, a red beak, before the bird fluttered off, disappearing into the tangle of pine branches.


    I looked back at the parchment pinned to the easel in front of me. I was sitting under the cover of pines, at the top of the wall that surrounded the house. From there, the sea stretched on and on, until I could no longer see the distinct line between the sky and the water. I knew that across that gray expanse lay the eastern kingdoms of Bakaar.


    Grandfather had told me, before he died, that the islands were a tangle of sweltering jungles thick with the odor of rotting vegetation, where nothing could ever be dry, and where crawling things like centipedes and spiders were larger than a human could ever imagine. I could never picture a place so miserable. To me, I would rather have lived in eternal winter than spend one day in the jungles of Bakaar.


    I shivered as a wind swept over the sea and hit me in the face. My nose was frozen, but I had wanted to at least get out and breathe a little before Komo and I practiced the wedding later that evening. I was tense, uncomfortable, and couldn''t concentrate well on my work. I kept thinking of the wedding.


    Tomorrow.


    I focused on my ink painting, adding a small black shape for the fishing ship I could see bobbing on the water. The wind picked up again, rustling the paper, and causing my ink to smear. I gritted my teeth, tossing the brush aside and tearing the parchment from the easel. I crumpled it up and flung it across the wall, watching the wind carry it. I leaned over the edge of the wall to watch the crumpled white shape float down towards the walk below. I sucked in a breath, a picture flashing before my eyes. I could see a snarling mask, raised towards me, a hand reaching up to catch the crumpled paper¡­


    I blinked and rubbed my eyes. There was no man in full armor, no entourage of mourning servants and soldiers. I watched the paper bounce off the rocks and go tumbling to its face in the white foam of the water below.


    I straightened and began to fold up my easel. How strange to think that a man I had only seen from a distance, who I had only ever thought about in passing, was becoming my husband. Little eleven-year-old me, seven years ago, could not have guessed that she was to become a lord''s wife.


    I couldn''t find the brush I had flung, so I put the caps back on the pots of ink and returned them to their wood case. I closed the case, taking it by the handle and taking the easel under my arm, before I went on my way back to the house. The clouds overhead were darkening, and I was unsure if it would bring a storm. I quickened my step, knowing Komo would be looking for me.


    A black shape flew into my field of vision. I stopped, turning around in time to see a black and white bird perch itself on one of the branches of the tall pines. I recognized the red beak. It was the bird I had saved from the frozen fountain, I was sure of it. It tilted its head and chirped again.


    Could it have remembered me? I watched it turn and fly up into the trees. It seemed to me very unlikely that such a creature would remember my action¡­


    It didn''t look like a very normal bird.


    Father had told me that sometimes the spirits would disguise themselves as animals in need, to test mortals. I had no definite proof that it was a spirit in disguise, but the thought of the spirits watching over me brought me comfort. Perhaps if I had the eyes of a particular spirit on me, then I would be well off, and no danger or misfortune would have come over me.


    I hurried along the walk, feeling a little better about myself after seeing the bird again. If it was a spirit watching over me, then maybe being wife to the lord would not be as bad as I had previously thought.


    But my feeling of subtle happiness was swiftly washed away when I let my thoughts return to all I had experienced in just a few days on the island. Hotaki''s bitter words of his father, his mention of being free, no one explaining why six women were dead, my feeling that everyone was feeding me lies, and the child¡­


    Why was a child''s presence so strange?


    The wind over the sea picked up again as I hurried down the stone steps. I could feel the cold through my shoes, and as I went along, I found myself thinking of hot tea and rice. I picked up my pace, reaching the house in practically a run. I hurried inside, and I was halfway up the stairs when I realized I had forgotten to take off my shoes. I went down the stairs, passing a servant as I did so, and pulled off my shoes to leave them by the front door.


    I stopped a servant as the servant passed me.


    "Excuse me," I said, hurrying forward and catching the servant by their sleeve. The servant stopped and turned their face to me, and I stopped myself from appearing too uncomfortable.


    "Komo," I began. "Is she here?"


    The servant shook their head.


    "Where did she go?"


    The servant remained motionless.


    "Did she head to the temple?"


    This time, the servant nodded. I gave a slight bow of my head.


    "Thank you."


    I turned and went out of the house, shuddering at the empty feeling I had received from the servant. Emptiness was the best I could describe it. There were no eye holes to look through, no voice to reply to me, no feeling of humanity behind that mask.The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    I slipped my feet into my shoes and went across the walk, keeping my pace quick so I would reach the temple in time. As I went through the round gateway from the house, I saw Hotaki coming my way, his nose and cheeks red from the cold. He hurried to me, grabbing my arm to stop me.


    "There you are!" he said. "Komo was wondering where you had run off to."


    "Run?" I laughed. "I was painting. Though I did get distracted."


    He steered me in the direction opposite where I needed to go.


    "Wait!" I said. "I need to get to the temple."


    "That can wait," he said.


    "Komo will be furious!"


    "She never gets angry," he said. "Besides, she isn''t even at the temple. There''s something very important waiting for you."


    I tried to pull my arm free. He noticed, and released me.


    "What''s so important that you have to drag me around like that?" I asked.


    He shrugged with a grin. "Should I tell you now, or wait until we are at the guest quarters?"


    "Guest quarters?"


    "Come on," he said, offering me his arm. "You''ll be very glad I dragged you along."


    I sighed and gave him my arm, letting him lead me along the stone path. The icicles that had formed on the trees were melting, freezing drops of water falling onto my neck. I shivered, but Hotaki didn''t seem to notice.


    The sky grew darker, either with the approaching evening, a coming storm, or both. The wind over the island seemed to seep into my bones, like I was being soaked in ice.


    Hotaki stepped forward to open the door to the guest house and its little garden. I could hear voices through the thin walls. A man laughing, his voice deep, a woman replying in a quieter voice¡­


    I turned to Hotaki, only to see him turn away to hide a smile. He led me forward to the door, and we paused to take our shoes off, before he slid the door open and I stepped inside.


    Five faces turned from the low table. I could see a man lowering a pipe from his mouth as he rose to his feet, and the sudden recognition sent a spark through me.


    "Father!" I cried, darting forward and throwing myself into my father''s arms. I could feel his arms wrap around me, hugging me tight as I buried my face in his shoulder. I felt a sting in my eyes, and knew I was going to start crying, but this time they were tears of happiness to see my family for the first time in days.


    As a merchant, Father would sometimes be away from the family for months on end, but nothing could compare to the joy of seeing him on the lord''s island, even though it had been less than a week.


    I moved away from Father to Grandmother''s arms, and turned to see Mother still kneeling at the table. I came before her and went on my knees, bowing low before her.


    "Mother," I said, as I lifted my head. Mother simply nodded to me, reaching out to touch my face.


    I looked about the table, my joy vanishing like a candle being snuffed out when my eyes fell upon the last guest. I rose to my feet, trying not to appear disturbed by the presence of this man.


    "Itsua-han," I said. My voice sounded cold and distant to me. I turned to Father. "Why is he here?"


    "Yori!" I heard Mother''s scolding tone of voice, but I didn''t look at her. I turned back to Itsua, who gave a bow of his head.


    "It would only seem appropriate that I would attend the wedding of my employer''s daughter," he said.


    Komo, who was kneeling at the table as well, rose to her feet. "Perhaps I should fetch some tea," she said, her tone uncomfortable. She hurried to the back room, shutting the door behind her.


    Father made a motion to the table. "We should be seated," he said.


    I knelt between Father and Hotaki, and found myself directly across from Itsua. I felt faintly happy when I thought about how I would be in a position above Itsua once I was married. All those years of my childhood filled with his unceasing talk of my becoming his wife¡­they were gone. I wouldn''t have to live in his house with his whispering daughters and be the mother of his children.


    Though Itsua was not a man of secrets, I thought to myself, and he hadn''t had six dead wives.


    I became aware of Father speaking to me. "Are you happy with Lord Ashiro-han''s decision?"


    I turned to him. "I cannot say that I am happy," I said. "But I am grateful, and I honor Lord Ashiro-han''s decision."


    "She was the last person I expected to be a lord''s wife," said Hotaki.


    "Oh?" Father raised an amused eyebrow, and Hotaki turned red as Grandmother began to laugh.


    "I didn''t mean it that way," Hotaki said. "She surprised us all with how well she performed."


    "She has never really been one to impress," Mother said. "So we are surprised as well."


    Mother''s words stung like the switch on my legs if I had misbehaved as a child. I could see Father, puffing on his pipe, throw Mother a threatening look. I took a deep breath, wondering why Mother would be insulting me in the presence of the people of Ashiro''s house.


    Komo came into the room with a tray of tea; I rose to my feet as she set it on the table, prepared to serve it, but Hotaki got up, shaking his head at me. I knelt back down, remembering that, aside from me, he was the youngest there, and I was a guest.


    I tried not to look at Itsua, who had his head facing in my direction as Hotaki poured the tea.


    Why had he come? I sipped my tea, staring at the knots in the wood of the table. I couldn''t say I hated him. After all, he had had reason to be angry over the loss of my family''s money, but his anger had been directed at me, and I remembered the way he had harshly pulled me to my feet that night he made us leave his house.


    There had been other times in my childhood when he had treated me harshly, and as I took another sip of my tea, I found myself at least relieved that I would not be marrying Orya Itsua, though my husband-to-be was not an ideal choice over an accountant. I wondered if Itsua, had I married him, would be cruel to me as his wife. There had been a reason his wife had sought love from another man.


    I could hear Mother and Father discussing with Komo the arrangements for more guests such as my brother and his family; Mother said something about all my possessions that had been brought to the island. I sighed inwardly, thinking of how it was the final step of my leaving my parents'' household before I finally became a possession of the lord''s house.


    "Are you alright?"


    Grandmother''s whisper broke through my wall of thoughts.


    I could see Hotaki glancing in my direction as I turned to Grandmother.


    "Fine," I replied in a faint voice. "I''m just¡­thinking about my new life that lies ahead of me."


    Grandmother patted my hand. "Marriage is a large step in one''s life, especially for one as young as you."


    "I just wish the decision was as much mine as it is Mother''s and Father''s."


    "Your parents know what is best for you," she said.


    "Do they always?" I leaned in closer. "Grandmother, surely they cannot know what''s best, especially with my marriage to Lord Ashiro¡ª"


    Grandmother made a motion to silence me, turning her head away from me. Mother and Father were looking in my direction. I hurriedly lifted my teacup to my lips, looking down at the table. It would not do if I was showing resistance to my family''s decision in their presence, especially the day before the wedding. By now, I was probably expected to show favor to the marriage, and I didn''t want to seem like Ashiro had made a mistake in choosing me.


    I finished my tea as the conversation carried away from me. I tried to think of the strange bird whose presence had brought me some peace. Itsua''s arrival to the island was somewhat jarring to my peace of soul, and though I was with my family, I still faced the thought of the next day with dismay.

 Chapter Twelve

    I slipped my fingers into the cage, holding my hand open so the doves could eat the crumbs. Sunlight filtered through the door of the balcony, warming my feet, though the day was colder than the previous one. It was odd, to me, that the days seemed to have been getting colder since Ice-breaking Day, when they were supposed to get warmer. Since then, ice had formed over the temple doors again, and every morning, the air was full of the sound of servants breaking the ice over the wells to get water.


    The doves cooed as they ate from my hand.


    "Do not worry, little friends," I whispered. "Tonight, you will be free."


    And I will be a captive.


    I closed the cage door once the crumbs were gone from my hand. The doves leaned against each other, cooing softly as they shut their eyes. Looking at them, I could not help but think about that strange little bird that I had seen before. I wanted to see it again, up close, but the rest of the previous day had gone by without any sight of the creature.


    I rolled up my futon before I finished my breakfast of hot broth, and hurried to dress. I chose from my own clothing, pulling on the plain blue robes that I had hardly worn back at home. They smelled of home, of Father''s pipe...it was the last chance I had before the ties to my old life were severed.


    I twisted my hair to the top of my head before I turned to the mirror to make sure I was presentable. I could hardly recognize myself anymore, a milk-white face hanging like the moon over the blue sea of my robes. I had never thought of how pale I really was, and when I visually compared myself to the soft yellow tones of those around me, I looked, as Itsua had described, almost ill. Already my face had begun to thin out, perhaps with the worry and dread that filled me when I faced the closeness of my wedding.


    A knock sounded on my door. Expecting it to be Komo, to take me downstairs to prepare for the final fitting of my wedding robe, I hurried to the door, sliding it open.


    Instead, standing before me, was Itsua.


    "What do you want?" I demanded, wary of his presence.


    "That''s a harsh way to speak to an old friend."


    "You were never a friend, Itsua," I said. I noticed he had a parcel in his hands, and he noticed my staring at it.


    "Isama and Umoko heard that you were being wed to Lord Ashiro-han," he said, holding the parcel up. "They wanted me to bring you this gift. I didn''t have the chance to give it to you yesterday."


    I took the parcel, and moved back into my room to open it, pulling at the strings and unfolding the paper.


    Silk scales shimmered in the light. I dropped the paper and lifted its contents, holding it up in the light of the sun. It was a sleeveless coat, black as the finest ink, with the white dragon of Inugoya on the back. A gasp came from me when I felt the smooth silk on my fingers. I lifted it over my shoulders, feeding my arms through the holes, letting it fall onto my shoulders. I twirled in the sunlight, watching the coat swirl with me.


    "Itsua, it''s beautiful," I said, looking back up at him. He had moved into the room, and I stopped my twirling when I saw the look on his face. He was watching me with an intensity like the way a cat watches a mouse, and I was suddenly alert.


    "Don''t look at me like that," I said.


    "Forgive me," he said, with a dip of his head. "You just...you looked very lovely twirling like that."


    "You were never one to consider me lovely," I said, remembering the way he had treated me the day I had asked the Creator to keep me from marrying him.


    "No, I wasn''t," he said. "It was just, right there, when you put that coat on, I saw something that I had never seen before. I wonder if, even if you had become my wife, I might have never seen it. And now you are being handed over to another man, and what I had seen twirling in the sunlight might never be seen again. A pity, that I can''t be the man to see it should it resurface."


    The way he was speaking puzzled me. "You''re not in love with me, are you?"


    He shook his head. "No. I don''t think I ever could be."


    He was still looking at me in a way I had never seen him look at anyone. His eyes looked...lost. Like he was looking at something he had lost, and the emptiness of them carried a sort of hunger. Except I had seen that look before on his face...


    I had seen it once, when I was probably twelve or thirteen, and Itsua had come to my house for something he needed to speak about with Father. It had been summer then, when the air was thick with the smell of moist earth during a rain. I had been in the garden under the protection of an umbrella, and I had pulled my robe up to past my knees so I could wade in the muddy pond by the bathhouse. Itsua had emerged from the house, and was crossing the garden to the gate that led to the city street, when he stopped and looked my way. I had already known he was to be my husband then, and I had been trying to avoid him. I could do nothing but stand there, ankle-deep in the mud of the pond, my legs exposed, and painfully wait for him to leave. Even from that distance, I could see a strange look come over Itsua, could see the way his chest rose and fell with a deep, almost struggling breath, before he turned and hurried on his way to the gate of our house.


    It was a look that had somewhat disturbed me then, a look I had quickly forgotten in my youthfulness, a look that I remembered as Itsua stood before me.


    "I would like you to leave now," I said.


    Itsua took a step towards the door, and hesitated, as if he was to say something to me, but he shook his head and went through the door, shutting it behind him. Once the sound of his wooden sandals clacking on the floor had faded away, I pulled the coat off myself, and sank to the floor before my low table, hugging my arms to myself. I could feel myself beginning to shiver, the strange, empty, hungry look on Itsua''s face burned into my brain.


    I could not tell if I was happy to leave my life behind me.Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    <hr>


    I stood on the balcony and faced the wind, the salty air carrying the bite of winter, watching the distant smudge of the mainland far away. Clouds hung over the mountains, concealing their peaks, and I was sure that the angry gray sky carried snow with it. Below me, on the silver, white-capped sea, I could see a trio of long boats gliding without effort through the water on their way to the island. One of them carried my brother and his family, and perhaps even my father''s brothers. I had not seen Yoshi for a whole year, since the birth of Yoshi''s second child.


    I wondered who the other boats carried¡ªperhaps other lords or nobility, or simply upper-class families, who were coming to the island because of the tradition. If a lord was to be married, then other lords might have arrived, though I suspected that the marriage of the lord of the lowest tier would not have had a large turnout of guests, especially if the same guests had been to six previous weddings.


    I went on my way down the balcony, to the steps I had ascended only a short while earlier. I did not know if I was to greet the guests with Ashiro, but I wanted to make sure I was in my room should Komo send for me.


    I spotted a familiar figure as I reached the level where my room was¡ªthe flash of a red coat, the way he carried himself, the slender hands reaching for the door to my room-and I hurried to reach him.


    "Hotaki!" I called. He turned, his face brightening when he saw me.


    "There you are," he said with a grin. "How do you feel?"


    I remembered, with a jolt, what was to come that night. "I don''t know," I said. "It hasn''t...it hasn''t struck me yet, I don''t think."


    "It will," Hotaki said. He breathed on his hands quickly, rubbing them together to warm them. "Do you mind if we go into your room?"


    "Not at all," I said. I opened the door, letting him in. "What did you need? Am I needed to greet the guests?"


    "Guests?" Hotaki raised an eyebrow at me as I shut the door. "Oh¡ªno. Lord Ashiro-han is seeing to that."


    My heart sank. "I was sure my brother was on one of those boats," I said. "I would have liked to see him before the wedding."


    "You will." Hotaki looked about the room. "Komo is actually expecting you to show up at the dressing room in a few minutes, but I wanted to steal a few of them to spend with you."


    I still had tea from lunch sitting on my table. I lowered myself to my knees. "Would you like some tea? It might be cold, but it''s good."


    Hotaki knelt across from me. "Certainly," he said. He waited as I poured his tea, and he accepted it from my hands with a bow of his head. He sipped it, and the look on his face was almost comical with disappointment. "It is very cold," he said.


    "Forgive me. I wasn''t expecting any guests."


    He sipped his tea again, and glanced at the black coat that sat on my futon. "Where did that come from?" he asked.


    I looked over my shoulder at it. "Itsua," I said. "He said his daughters wanted him to give it to me."


    "Itsua...was that the one who you were to be wed to?"


    I remembered the way he had looked at me before leaving my room, the way it had made me feel like a thousand spiders were crawling over my skin, and as I sat there, despite how I was drinking tea, my throat went dry, and I found myself having difficulty swallowing it. Hotaki appeared as if he noticed my discomfort.


    "You wish not to speak of him."


    I shook my head. "I''d rather not."


    He finished his cup of tea. "I didn''t mean to make you uncomfortable," he said.


    "I don''t know if he''s angry that I''m not marrying him," I said. "He was furious when he found that all of the family''s money was gone. He seemed more concerned over the money than me, but I don''t know if I am to feel good over that or not."


    "Is he in love with you?"


    "No," I said. "At least, he said so himself."


    "Does he want you?"


    I looked up quickly. Hotaki was pouring himself more tea, and he raised his eyes to me. "I...don''t know," I said.


    "The way he looked at you throughout tea yesterday: I''ve seen that look on a man''s face before, and every time I have, it hasn''t ended well."


    I swallowed, and took another sip of tea, hoping to moisten the dryness. "Do you mean lust?"


    He shrugged. "Lust, desire: say it any way you want. I''ve seen it on a man''s face for a fraction of a second, before it vanished, and I''ve seen it barely contained within a man, turning him into a savage beast. I will warn you, Yori, that if you see a man with that look on his face, it is best you run away from it."


    I could see myself, those years ago, standing in the mud, facing Itsua. "I have been betrothed to him since I was eleven," I said. "In all those years, he has never made a move on me. Certainly, if he has desired me, he has been continent enough to wait until marriage. I see him as no danger."


    Hotaki shrugged to himself, looking into his tea. I found myself studying his face again, and I felt the urge to reach out and touch it, to run my fingers over his high cheekbones, to slip my hands into his hair and look deep into his eyes. I studied his hands and imagined them holding mine, touching my face, pulling me close to be enveloped in his warmth.


    My face was on fire. I didn''t know if it was red, but I lifted my hands to my face, hoping the cool touch of my fingers would subdue the heat that had begun to creep down my neck to the rest of my body. It would do no good to think of a man in such a way, especially when my wedding was in a few hours. They were stupid, meaningless thoughts, formed from my own loneliness, misery, and self-pity I felt over being wed to a man I hardly knew.


    Oh, if only Hotaki, or any handsome young man, could look at me the way Itsua had, and I could stumble forward into his arms and we could make that lovers'' dance under the moonlight!


    I wanted to slap myself. I had never had such intrusive, passionate, sensual thoughts before. I lowered my head, begging for the Creator''s forgiveness. A woman should not have let her mind wander in such a way.


    A silence had fallen over the room, and the sound of Hotaki setting his cup onto the table made me flinch.


    "Hotaki," I said quietly.


    He looked up, and my heart leaped within me when our eyes met. How foolish I had been to think of him, drunk with thoughts of desire. It was only now, when I knew my wedding fast approached, that I could not have a man like Hotaki, or have him myself.


    "Yes?" His tone was his usual bright one. Of course he could not feel the same things I did. He looked at me in the light of truth: a merchant''s daughter becoming a lord''s wife.


    "You have never looked at a woman with that same look, have you?"


    He laughed. "I hope to the Creator that I haven''t!"


    "Have you ever been in love?"


    His smile vanished. "Why do you ask?"


    "I don''t know. Perhaps...perhaps because the thought of being in love is so distant to me now that..." I couldn''t finish. I didn''t know what to say.


    "Yori..."


    I looked up. "I shouldn''t be talking like this. It''s a foolish way to think, especially with my wedding so close." I should have been thinking about staying alive, being dutiful, bearing a child.


    Hotaki''s face told me that nothing I said had affected him greatly. He stood. "I''ve stolen enough time from Komo," he said. "Come, I''ll take you to the dressing room."


    He offered his hand to me. After thinking about him the way I had, I was reluctant to even touch him, but I gathered my strength and took his hand. I stood, and as I rose, the closeness of his face to mine robbed me of my breath. He didn''t seem to notice at all, and released me, hurrying to the door and opening it for me.


    "Hurry up," he said, "or else Komo will have your hide."


    I allowed myself a smile as I slipped through the door. "You said she never gets angry."


    "Did I? I must have been wrong."


    As we hurried down the hall together, I took a deep breath, praying for the spirit of purity to cleanse my head. But something tingled in the back of my brain...something I had meant to ask Hotaki.


    "That look," I said, "the one that had been on Itsua''s face."


    "Yes," he said, urging me to continue.


    "Have you ever seen it on Lord Ashiro''s face?"


    His gait slowed, until we both stopped. His brows drew together, and he finally shook his head. "No, I don''t think I have."


    "You said it is dangerous."


    He nodded, and we resumed walking.


    "If...if he was to look at me that way, am I to run?"


    Confusion crossed his face. "I don''t know," he said.


    I faced ahead, my hands tucked into my sleeves, and the two of us made our way to the dressing room in silence.

 Chapter Thirteen

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    <div>


    The mask on my face still smelled fresh, having only been carved that morning. The black coat, draped over my head and shoulders, had been tied closed, as if hiding the sight of my trailing white robes from the rest of the island. I waited at the gate for the great temple on the island''s hill, Mother and Father on either side of me, Komo and Hotaki before me. A sort of glow had settled over the island, lighting the clouds high above us: lanterns hung from the trees around the temple, giving me a feeling of warmth, though the freezing wind bit through my robes.


    In my hands, I carried the doves'' cage; the two of them were huddled together in the cold. I was silent, waiting for the sound of the drums, waiting for the gate to open, waiting for Komo and Hotaki to lead me forward. I could see the top of the temple from where I stood, a flickering light within it.


    I remembered the day of Ashiro''s marriage to his sixth wife, how I had watched the procession of boats make their way to the island, and how I could see the light of the temple''s tower from my balcony, and it had lasted all through the night and into the morning.


    I wondered if there was some little girl back on the mainland standing on her balcony, watching the sparkle of lights on the water, wondering if some day she might make it to the island. Perhaps that same little girl might be standing on a balcony only a year later, looking down at Ashiro as he carried my ashes in a wooden box, looking down at him as he reached up and caught the lily that fell from her fingers...


    The single beat of many drums together broke me free from my thoughts. The gate opened, the drums sounding again, and Hotaki and Komo started forward. I lifted my feet, carrying myself forward. My feet no longer felt heavy; they felt almost too light for the weight of the robes on me, and I placed my feet as if I was floating, the ground beneath me like the clouds. The drums beat together, matching my step. I faced ahead, not looking at the people who lined the walk to the steps of the altar, instead staring between Komo and Hotaki at the stairs. Lord Ashiro''s soldiers lined the stairs, and as I lifted my eyes, I could see Ashiro standing before the altar, his head bowed. I knew it was him, even though he wore a mask, because of how he held himself. He wore white as well, looking almost like a ghost standing beside the priest.


    Komo and Hotaki stopped before the steps, bowed, and parted, standing on either side. I swallowed, took a deep breath, and placed my foot on the first step, my parents holding the train of my robes as we ascended the stairs to the altar. The doves in their cage started to fret, cooing worriedly.


    After what seemed to be an eternity, I reached the altar, taking my place next to the it, facing Ashiro as I handed the cage of doves to the priest. My heart did not pound; I felt empty inside, numb as I struggled to grasp the reality of what was happening. Mother and Father took their places on either side of me, removing the coat from me. The chill of the air hit my bare neck, my face where the mask didn''t cover the skin.


    The drums ended their rhythm, and a frozen silence settled over the temple, broken only by the faint rasp of my breath behind the mask. The priest, standing at the foot of the altar, reached inside his sleeve, removing a scroll. I lifted my gaze a little, letting my eyes wander to Ashiro, falling on the painted wood of his mask. I studied the character painted on his forehead¡ªzho, the curling character for those about to be wed. It was on the forehead of my mask as well.


    Teku began to read from the scroll, his voice a deep chant as he began the prayer for the ceremony. I felt a shiver going through me as his voice carried over the temple, and I had to take a deep breath to calm it. My face had already begun to feel hot and stuffy behind the mask, and I once again thought of the funeral.


    I was still staring at Ashiro''s mask¡ªas I did so, I watched his eyes, cloaked in shadow from the mask, lift up, and they locked with mine.


    I have seen those eyes before.


    I was dimly aware of Teku finishing the prayer, and he rolled the scroll and tucked it back into his sleeve, raising his arms above our heads. Ashiro and I bowed, and I tried to keep from trembling as Teku began the blessing.


    "Great Creator," he began, "we come before you on this evening, to ask your blessing over your two children joined together in marriage, before your sacred presence."


    Ashiro and I straightened, and Teku folded his hands together. I swallowed the lump in my throat as Ashiro gave me a small bow before stepping forward. I straightened my posture, and closed my eyes as Ashiro lifted his hands, reaching around me, finding the ribbon of the mask. I could feel his sleeves touch my neck; my first impulse was to shy away, but I kept myself composed. As he loosened the ribbon and grasped the mask, I could feel his fingers trace over my face, lightly, like the kiss of the wind, and I found myself wondering if his touch was deliberate.Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.


    Cold air stung my face; I opened my eyes to see him handing my mask to Teku, who bowed his head and placed the mask on the altar. It was my turn¡ªwith my heart dancing wildly in my chest, I bowed, stepped forward, reached up with shaking hands, fumbling for the knot of his mask ribbons. I found them and quickly untied them, taking the mask in my hands, making sure I did not touch Ashiro''s face the way he had mine. I handed Teku the mask and turned back to Ashiro.


    He gave me a small smile; I returned it, but the action felt wooden and stiff. Ashiro and I faced Teku, who brought forth a bowl of pine ashes, and at his signal, we knelt before him. Teku bowed once, reached into the bowl, and sprinkled the ashes over our heads.


    "Formed from the ashes of the sacred fire of Agi-a, man was," Teku said, "and in the end, we all return to ashes." He knelt before us, and once more, he stuck his finger in the ashes. He reached to Ashiro, who bowed his head, and drew zho on the bare skin beneath Ashiro''s hairline. "By this sign, by this promise, you, Inugoya Ashiro"¡ªhere, he turned to me and drew zho on my forehead, the coarse ash making my skin prickle¡ª"and you, Matamura Yori, are bound together before the Creator, until the day you shall return to ash."


    Teku made a motion to Father, who came forward with a small scroll. Father bowed to the priest before handing him the scroll and returning to his place beside Mother. I found that my hands, tucked into my sleeves, were folded together so tightly that my nails were digging into my skin. This was the final stage of the marriage, the scroll being the document that guaranteed Father''s approval towards the marriage, symbolizing his handing me over to the possession of my husband.


    Teku retrieved and inkwell and brush from the altar, setting them before Ashiro before unrolling the scroll and handing it to him. In a few seconds of tense silence, Ashiro signed his name on the document, the character for his family joining the character for my family. He breathed on the ink to dry it before returning the scroll and the brush to Teku.


    "Inugoya Ashiro," Teku said, standing and motioning for us to stand as well, "you have taken Matamura Yori into your household to become your wife. May your days with your wife be many and blessed." Teku then turned to me, and for a moment, I was sure that concern came over his face. I must have looked ill, and I felt faint, but I kept myself on my feet for the sake of my family¡ªand the sake of all those at the temple. "Matamura Yori," he said, "you are now Inugoya Yori. May your days with your husband be fruitful."


    Fruitful. I glanced at Ashiro''s white figure, the emptiness inside me now replaced with the weight of my sinking spirits. I should not have been so foolish as to have asked the Creator to keep me from a marriage with Itsua. Now I was the wife of a man I hardly knew, a prisoner on his island.


    Teku took the cage, holding it before us as he opened the door. Ashiro reached in, taking one of the doves gently in his hands, and handed the bird to me. He then took the other dove, and we turned, standing at the steps of the temple.


    I gasped. From that place at the top of the temple stairs, I could see the crowd gathered for the wedding, holding their lanterns, a glow rising from them. But what caught my attention, what made my heart leap within me as I took in the sight, was the sea: hundreds of boats must have sat on the water, lanterns hanging from everywhere where someone could hang a lantern on the boat, creating a sea of glittering lights like swimming fireflies. I had never seen anything so lovely in my life, and as Ashiro and I released the doves, watching their white shapes vanish into the night, the crowd began to sing the wedding song. It was soft and quiet at first, but as more voices joined in, it swelled in volume and strength, a wave of voices rising and falling with the tide of the tune.


    With the wedding song filling my ears, I turned to Ashiro, hoping to see at least some kind of love, or at least softness, in his face. But he was looking down at the crowd, his brows drawn together in an expression of something I could not name. Pain? Sadness? Anger? I could not tell. He had done this six times before; had he lost the lover''s flame, the groom''s initial joy at being joined with the woman of his dreams?


    I doubted I was such woman. Ashiro and I began down the steps, and as we went down the walk through the crowd of singers, my feet had finally begun to ache, and my knees felt weak, to the point where I was afraid I would have collapsed.


    Snow began to drift from the sky, landing on my head and shoulders like tiny pinpricks of the cold. My steps felt slower and heavier than before, and though the tune of the wedding song was light and joyful, the ground seemed to be grabbing me and pulling me down. Every breath was like a gulp of air that never reached my lungs, and my legs burned as if I carried a large weight upon my shoulders, clinging to my back, dragging behind me.


    I tried to focus on putting one foot in front of the other, but the further I walked, the more complicated the task seemed to become, until I could no longer lift my feet. I was dimly aware of my knees buckling under me, the ground seeming to fly up towards my face, the sound of a gasp coming from around me. Snowflakes filled my vision, a blur of white, the deep gray-purple of the sky-was I looking up? I tried to lift myself, but my arms would not move at my command, and my vision began to fade, slipping into darkness.


    I thought I saw a bald child duck its head into the crowd of people...

 A Note from the Author

    I''m sorry I haven''t posted in so long. I keep trying to go back to this story, and have been for over a month, and each time, I am met with a headache, frustration, and at the end of it all, I''m still staring at a blank white screen. I have immense writer''s block with this story. I removed the last chapter to see if I could have rewritten it, but nothing is working out. I''m really sad, and frustrated. I don''t know where to go. I''ve gotten so many reviews, which motivate me, but I can''t figure out where to go with this story. I might need to restart it. I don''t know.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

 Chapter Fourteen

    Darkness had its grip on me. Alone, I stirred beneath a weight, tangled in a prison of silk. My head throbbed, and around me, I could hear the steady beat of distant drums. I flexed my fingers first, made a fist, stretched my arm¡­


    Groaning at the pain in my head, I opened my eyes, the sight of the wood beams of a ceiling making me gather that I was laying on my back. I lifted my head, coming to the realization that I was not hearing drums; the noise was the pounding of blood in my head.


    I turned my head, seeing a shape in the flickering candlelight. The sound of dripping water reached my ears. As I looked, I made out the figure of Komo, her hands inside a bowl of water that sat atop a low, round table. As she lifted her hands, I saw that she was wringing out a cloth.


    I propped myself up on my elbows. Komo turned her head, her eyes pointed in my direction.


    "Yori? Are you awake?"


    I nodded and, remembering that she could not see, I forced myself to speak. "Yes."


    She reached for me; guiding her hand with mine, I let her place her hand, still wet, on my forehead. Her finger stroked my eyebrow as she felt around my face.


    "You feel cold," she said.


    I sat up all the way, my head heavy from my hair being piled atop it, and looked down the length of the futon. I still wore the white robes, my feet small and white sticking out from the hem.


    "You fainted," Komo said, bringing the cloth to my forehead. I smelled something sweet, and as the damp cloth touched my skin, the throbbing went down.


    "What happened? After that, I mean." I lowered my head, rubbing my temples.


    "I think...I believe you were carried here."


    "What is ''here''?" I looked about. I was in a large room, some trunks in the corner, and altar against the wall...I spotted the door of the balcony, through which the faint light of lanterns could be seen, bobbing in the breeze. I could hear the wind around the walls, the creak of wood¡­


    "Your quarters," Komo said. "The moment you fainted, Lord Ashiro-han carried you here."


    In front of all the guests, and the people of his island...I groaned again, this time out of dread for what might have come. Mother would be furious with me. I could almost feel her hand on my face again.


    Komo took my chin in her hand, and lifted my face, the cloth caressing my forehead. I shut my eyes as it pressed against my eyelids.


    "The feast has been put off," she said. "The guests have been sent away."


    I felt even heavier, as if the robes were pulling me down, into the futon, and they would crush me flat like parchment. How much humiliation would I bring to my lord''s island?


    Komo dipped the cloth in the bowl again; I watched the tendons in her thin hand work as she wrung it out. I pondered the presence of the child, remembering that Ashiro had told me to tell Komo if I had ever seen the child again, but¡­


    I opened my mouth to force the words, then closed it, pursing my lips. How foolish I would sound! Komo, I saw a bald child that caused me to faint...I shook my head to myself, not wanting to paint myself as more of a fool. I had already brought humiliation to the island of my husband, and to simply say it was all because of a bald child¡­


    My husband. I took a deep breath as Komo massaged my forehead with the cloth again. "Are my parents still here?" I asked.


    "Yes," she replied. "Lord Ashiro-han refuses to let them see you."


    I stiffened, my blood suddenly feeling hot in my veins. I sat up further, pushing Komo''s hand aside. "Where is he?" I demanded.


    "I believe he is outside the door."


    I gathered the hem of the robe and lifted myself to my feet. Despite my head swimming, I was furious with my lord for keeping my family from me. I crossed the room, hearing a protest from Komo. I ignored it, lunging forward to the door, leaning on it to regain my balance. I slid it open, greeted with the sight of Ashiro kneeling before the door, his head bowed and his hands on his knees.


    He lifted his head when he saw me. I felt strange, then, to be looking down at him, and as he rose to his feet, my anger faded into dread in his presence.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    "You''re awake," he said, sounding neither happy nor relieved that I was. He seized my arm, and I cried out at the pain of his fingers digging into my skin. He dragged me into the room, my feet hardly able to keep up with him. He snapped his fingers at Komo.


    "Leave us," he said.


    Komo stood, her eyes fixed in our direction, as she went forward, a hand outstretched to feel for the door. Once she had left, after throwing a confused expression over her shoulder, Ashiro slid the door shut, finally releasing my arm.


    I took a step back from him, poised to run, afraid that he might have hit me after grabbing my arm so roughly. I then realized that, with such heavy robes on, and with my legs still weak, running was most likely out of the question.


    "You have much to explain," Ashiro said, turning to me.


    I studied his face for that expression Hotaki had told me of, but I saw nothing there save his anger, his eyes made more menacing by the flickering candlelight. I straightened myself, fighting the fear that was beginning to take hold of me.


    "My lord," I began, searching for an explanation. I paused, and hung my head. "My lord, I don''t know."


    The creak of floorboards told me he was approaching me, but I did not look up. I started when I felt his hand on my chin, and he lifted my face, forcing me to look in his eyes. With his other hand, he smoothed my hair back from my forehead. The black zho remained on his forehead, but I guessed that mine had been washed off with the cloth Komo had used on my face.


    He held my face in his hands, looking into my eyes, his expression almost...frustrated. "Of all the women who have come to my island," he said, "through some chance, I had to pick you. I could have picked a woman, not a child."


    I took a deep breath. He saw me as a child? I had meant to ask for my parents, but since he had called me a child, it was the last thing I wanted to do in his presence.


    "What are you, Yori?" he asked.


    "My lord?" I was puzzled at his question, wanting to move away from his touch. His hands, though gentle on my face, caused gooseflesh to creep up my body.


    "You faint at your wedding, and offer no reason why."


    "My lord, I was exhausted. And the cold had settled in my bones..."


    "There is something more." He released my face, and stepped back from me, tucking his hands in his sleeves. "I should feel concerned for you, should I not? But I don''t. You are my wife now, and are to be the mother of my heir, and so little is there I know about you. I have no desire for you."


    I had no idea what to say in response, thrown off that he had voiced the same things I felt towards him. He looked away from me, and the overwhelming sense of sadness that I had felt those years ago, the day I had seen him from the balcony, returned, settling over me. I reached back, leaning a hand on the altar to keep myself from falling over. His attention went back to me, as if he felt my sudden weakness.


    "Look at you," he said. "You cannot even stand. You are weak."


    I did not know if he sought to insult me. I stood before him, my face on fire with shame, and once more I hung my head. He moved past me, towards the door.


    "All the people of my region witnessed your collapse," he said, his hand on the doorframe. "And now it shall be known throughout the empire that Inugoya Ashiro, lord of the seventh region, has married himself to a creature hardly worth the title of lord''s wife."


    "My lord," I said, forming words of protest.


    He held up his hands, and in that moment, I realized he made the silencing gesture. I tried to calm my breathing, unsure if I should have been furious with him or not. He shook his head, sliding the door open.


    "What have I done?" he said in nearly a whisper. "I am a fool for choosing you."


    He stepped out of the room, shutting the door behind him. I stood there, alone in my room, my heart pounding with the shock of his words to me.


    Why should I have been surprised? He saw me as nothing more than a child, unworthy of being his wife. But it was by his choice that I was his wife, not mine. He picked me, even if he thought so little of me. Out of all the women who had come to his island over the weeks, I was the one he chose, by some freak chance. And it was he who regretted his decision.


    I collapsed onto my futon, burying my face into the pillow, hoping I could cry out the feelings that had begun to flood my body, but my eyes were dry. I could do nothing but lay on the futon, twisted in my robes, a pitiful white figure against the darkness of my room. Around me, the winter wind moaned through any opening in the walls it could find, and a distant bell ringing somewhere on the island. I could imagine the sight of many boats returning home, and the title of the newspaper the next morning: INUGOYA ASHIRO''S BRIDE COLLAPSES AT WEDDING.


    I wanted to scream, as if I could empty myself of the shame and the remorse that was building up inside me, but no sound came from my mouth. It was as if dishonor ran thick in my veins, and I could not step around humiliating those around me.


    I gripped the pillow until my knuckles ached from the tightness of my clutch. No, I would not wallow in the embarrassment I had brought to myself and the house of my lord. I took a deep breath, praying to the Creator for strength. I had promised Father to be brave.


    I sat up, crawling to the altar, setting myself back on my knees. I snatched up the matchbook and struck one, lighting the red prayer candles, and the cone of incense in the center. I placed my hands together and bowed three times before touching my forehead to the floor in front of the altar, making a silent prayer.


    Great Creator, I prayed, give me courage, and give me strength. I have done many things wrong, and I have been selfish, and I have been afraid. I have only thought of myself. I am a lord''s wife now. Give me the strength, the ability, to act as such now. Let me bring no further humiliation to those I love, and those I am now bound to.


    I made this prayer with my heart, my soul, all the strength left within me. Letting the incense burn and fill the room with the lulling scent of meditation, I breathed it in, feeling renewed. Lord Ashiro''s words would not have a lasting effect on me. If he thought me unworthy as a wife, I would prove myself worthy.


    It was time for me to be strong.

 Chapter Fifteen

    The chirp of a bird forced me to open my eyes. Breathing in sharply, I moved, a sharp pain in my neck shooting up into the back of my skull.


    I rolled over onto my back, realizing I had fallen asleep on the hard floor before my altar, and I still wore my wedding robes. I hissed in pain as I sat up, lifting one hand to the back of my neck, to rub the tension away.


    I frowned, seeing that my sacred candle had burned to the last inch, and it was now a lump, the wax having dripped down the side of the altar, reminding me of blood.


    I grimaced and turned away. I had no concept of time, if it was morning or afternoon. I lifted myself to my feet, the pain from being curled on the hard floor taking hold of my knees. I stumbled forward to the door to the balcony. Sliding it open, I stepped onto the balcony, into the frozen air, seeing a layer of snow on the rooftops of the lord''s house. My breath rose from my lips, a cloud in the already clouded sky, and I looked up to watch it vanish among the gray.


    The chirp reached my ears again. I looked, seeing a little bird perched on one of the hanging lanterns. I froze, recognizing it as the bird I had saved from the frozen fountain. It sat upon the lantern and flapped its wings, staring straight at me. Slowly, I lifted a hand toward the creature, but I must have moved too quickly, for it let out one last chirp and flew away, soaring over the treetops and vanishing among the branches of a large pine to where I could no longer see it.


    I sighed and retreated into the room, shutting the balcony door. I did not know why I was so transfixed over the bird. It was unusual, perhaps even a spirit watching over me. If it was a spirit, then there was a possibility that my position was not so unfortunate.


    I began to pull off the heavy wedding robes, though it was a task that drained me of my energy. The robes were put on me by several people, and I was only one undressing myself of the seven layers.


    I pulled off the last robe and left them in a heap next to my futon, standing in the cold of my room in nothing but my under-robe, shivering. I knelt before the vanity, staring in the mirror to pull my hair out of its various twists and knots. The various symbolic ornaments I left on the vanity, and as I stared at them, and then back up at my reflection, my hands felt as if they had been formed of many weights, and I felt as if the floor was pulling me down.


    I looked into my own brown eyes, studied my face: it had grown thinner, paler, the eyes sunken deeper into their sockets. A black smudge that had previously been zho marked my forehead.


    I lifted my hands and lowered my gaze to my palms. A child, my husband had called me. Perhaps that was what I was. I had done nothing but weep and bemoan my misfortune, much like a child might have.


    Strangely enough, however, I found relief in remembering that he had told me he had no desire for me. I didn''t know if I myself was one to be desired. There was a chance I wasn''t, and he was simply telling me because I had nothing in me to be sought after.


    The relief vanished when I remembered that I still had to be a mother. If he had no desire for me, then I couldn''t imagine trying to bear his child. Something that was supposed to be tender, and intimate, and unifying would turn stale and forced, and I did not know if he would even love his child should it come from the womb of a woman¡ªa girl¡ªhe had no desire for.


    I took a deep breath, pressing the heels of my hands against my eyes. This was too much for me to think of before I even had a morning bath.


    Courage was what I had prayed for the previous night. I clenched my jaw and took up the comb, working the tangles from my hair, the comb ripping through each knot. I watched my reflection, looking into those dark eyes, alarmed at how old they had grown in a matter of days.


    Look at yourself, I thought. This is the face of one who has brought humiliation. This is the face of one who will bring honor.


    I continued working at my hair, my strength renewed from the words I thought to myself, before I rang for a servant to help me with my bath.


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    I sank deeper into the water, the steam clouding my vision. The heat from the water made my skin tingle, but it settled into my bones and helped me to relax. I worked my fingers through my hair, washing out the oil that had been used to form the style that my hair had been twisted into for the wedding.


    The servant I had dismissed so I could bathe alone, surrounded by the scented oils and the silence of my solitude.


    I had come to the realization that I had awoken well past ten in the morning, and I was disgusted with myself for having slept so long. Though I hadn''t eaten, I wasn''t hungry, and no one had sent for me, so I let myself unwind in the hot bathwater. My parents and Grandmother had already left, I hadn''t the chance to see my brother and his family, but I tried not to dwell on the thoughts.


    I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, pretending that I was floating among clouds, the thought allowing me to relax further. There were things to worry about, yes, but for now, I simply wanted to cleanse myself of everything that had taken place the previous night. My skin was thick with the perfumes that I had been anointed with, and my brain heavy from too much thinking. Oddly enough, I hardly wanted tea to soothe myself. I wanted something stronger to scrub everything away.


    The sound of the door sliding open made me open my eyes. I sat up, turning to look over my shoulder as the outside light, and the cold draft, came pouring in. Silhouetted by the light, blurred in the steam, was a slight figure.


    "Yori? Are you here?"


    I recognized Komo''s voice, but not the tone¡ªshe sounded angry. Anger was something I had not heard in her voice before. I said nothing, sinking deeper into the water, hoping to avoid her. She crossed the room of the bathhouse, breaking through the steam. Her blank eyes were fixed ahead, her feet moving slowly. I did not move in the water, knowing that she would hear it, and I sat there watching as she crouched down.


    She stuck her hand in the water, feeling around. I moved away as slowly as I could. It was not fast enough, for her hand brushed my arm, and she reached forward, her fingers wrapping around my wrist. She pulled me forward, touching my face.


    "What are you doing? Hiding?"


    I pulled my wrist out of her hand. "I''m taking a bath."


    "It''s eleven in the morning! When did you wake up?"


    "A half hour ago," I said.


    "Finish with your bath, and get dressed. You have duties as a lord''s wife now. When you are dressed, you will go see Hotaki in his study. The two of you have work to do."


    My heart jumped when I heard Hotaki''s name, and I moved further away from Komo. "I''ll be done in a few minutes," I said.


    "You had better. You''re not going to spend your day sulking about. You''re a lord''s wife now, and that means you''re going to act like one."


    I said nothing, watching her. She stood and made her way towards the open door. She turned to look back over her shoulder, as if she was going to say something more, but she remained silent and left me alone, shutting the door behind her.


    I sank lower into the water, until it closed over my head, holding my breath and wrapping my arms about myself. The muffled sound of the water closing around my ears only magnified my thoughts inside my head. I broke through the surface and breathed deeply, hoping that I could calm myself, but my solitude only made things worse.Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.


    Hotaki was the last person I wanted to see, especially after the way I had thought of him the afternoon before the wedding. But as the lord''s wife, I was expected to do what the master of the house commanded. I lifted myself out of the water and picked up the towel, standing alone in the bathhouse with my face buried in the soft cloth. My head still pounded and my eyes ached.


    I lifted my head and began to dry myself off, dreading the time I would spend with Hotaki.


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    I knelt before the door, patting my hair to make sure it was in place, and smoothing out the front of the silver robe I wore. All my possessions from my home on the mainland had been delivered to my room, and I felt that, though it severed my remaining tie to my family, I could still have some remainder of my life before by wearing my own clothes.


    I waited by the door for any sound of Hotaki. Komo had shown me to his door after bursting into my room to help me dress faster. My hair was still somewhat damp, but Komo had twisted it into the knot on top of my head anyway. My scalp tingled from the harshness with which she had pulled my hair.


    I knocked on the door, waiting to hear a reply. No sound came from his study. I knocked again before wondering if he wasn''t there yet, or he had gone out looking for me.


    I placed my hands on my knees and looked down the length of the hall. Nothing stirred in the dim light, and in the quiet, my skin began to crawl. A breath of air came down towards me, stirring the banners that hung on the wall. I jumped to my feet, alarmed at the touch of the cool air on my face.


    Gooseflesh covered my skin. I stood staring down the hall, watching for any sign of life. An image of the child I had seen crossed my mind. I closed my eyes and tried to push the image away. I wouldn''t let myself be frightened.


    But I was a fool to be frightened¡ªI heard the sound of voices, a door sliding shut, before I realized that someone had opened one of the exterior doors and let the cool draft in. I saw two figures¡ªtwo men¡ªturn down the corner of the hall, and I recognized Hotaki''s red robe. A jolt went through me when I saw that the other man was Itsua. I guessed he had stayed on the island as Father''s accountant.


    "Yori!" Hotaki''s voice, with its bright, musical tone, touched my ears. "Good morning. Are you feeling well?"


    "Somewhat," I said.


    "I''m guessing Komo sent you here."


    He moved past me and slid the door open, motioning for me to enter. I glanced at Itsua, but said nothing to him as I stepped into Hotaki''s study.


    It was humbly furnished, with a low table where he could work, and only a few ink paintings on the wall. Hotaki moved behind the table, which was covered in pieces of parchment, and motioned for Itsua and me to take our places. I knelt before the table, Itsua kneeling at my right, too close for my comfort. I inched away from him, placing my hands on my knees, as Hotaki brought forward his abacus and dipped his brush in ink.


    "Now, Yori," he began, flipping through the parchment until he found a blank piece, "since your family is now tied to the house of Inugoya, we''ll have to go over some procedures concerning the passing of money."


    I stared at him, and then quickly nodded. "Yes," was all that came out of my mouth. The last thing I wanted was to sit and listen to two men discuss numbers and money.


    He pulled a scroll from his sleeve and unrolled it, presenting it to Itsua. "This is the statement of the transaction from the Matamura private bank to Notomo Bank."


    Itsua took it and began to read over it, his mouth in a deep frown as his eyes wandered over the ink characters. I leaned closer to him to read it, but bank statements made no sense to me, so it might as well have been in a completely different language. I did read the amount of money which was transferred¡ªtwenty-eight thousand yan, all of our family''s money.


    I felt a strange jump of surprise. Why, I was convinced that our family had more money in our bank. Yo-Ji might have stolen a great amount as well.


    "Since Notomo Tamaka''s declaration of bankruptcy," Hotaki went on, "the unmarked money is lost. However, we shall carry out with the transaction of the dowry."


    Itsua handed the scroll back to Hotaki. Hotaki began to count on his abacus, writing characters on the blank piece of parchment. I knelt beside Itsua in the silence, wishing that I was elsewhere. I could have been in my room drinking tea, practicing an ink drawing, or outside walking in the snow to enjoy the dead beauty of the island.


    Hotaki finished with the piece of parchment, blew on the ink to let it dry, and rolled it up. He then lit the candle that sat on his desk and waited until wax had built up to drop it over the scroll, sealing it. He handed it to Itsua.


    "This you will take to the Matamura bank," he said, "and you and Matamura Tatsuo will oversee the transaction."


    Itsua took the scroll with a dip of his head.


    "Thank you, Orya Itsua," said Hotaki. He motioned to the door.


    Itsua stood and bowed deeply, before tucking the scroll in his sleeve and leaving the study.


    I stared after him as he shut the door. Hotaki''s voice broke the silence, sounding softer and lacking the usual merry tone.


    "Yori?"


    I glanced at him. He watched me, his hands folded atop his table, his eyes filled with concern. They fell on the top of my head, which was bare, I realized: no ivory comb.


    "What happened last night?"


    I hung my head. "I don''t know, to be truthful," I said. "I fainted, and Ashiro came to see me, and...and he was angry with me."


    "Did he..." He looked again at the top of my head.


    I shook my head. "No," I said. "He hardly touched me. He left me, after saying that he had no desire for me."


    I heard Hotaki sigh. He leaned back, drumming his fingers on the table. I recalled the time I had been out wandering, hearing the conversation between Hotaki and Ashiro, the need for a son, Hotaki saying that they would be free¡­


    "Yet I still must have his son," I said. I shrugged my shoulders. "I''ve never felt more...trapped. It''s like I''m stuck in some kind of whirlpool of my own making, trying to swim to freedom, but it''s only pulling me deeper down, to the bottom of the sea, where I cannot escape the fate in store for me."


    "Your worth is not dictated by the child you might bear," Hotaki said.


    I looked up quickly, surprised by his words.


    "You are so much more than a potential mother, Yori," he went on. "So much more than a bride with no say in who her groom is. You are a lord''s wife."


    I nodded. "Yes," I said, "and that is all."


    He began to laugh, the smile breaking over his face filling me with my love for him, causing me to smile despite the heaviness inside me.


    "Why do you laugh?" I asked.


    "Do you not know that you are so much more? Look at you. You drown in your self-pity, but you do not realize that you are the woman with the most power in your entire region."


    I hadn''t quite thought of that. Hotaki must have seen the shock on his face, for he laughed again.


    "Yes, a lord''s wife is submissive to the will of her husband," he said. "But think. When your husband is away, you hold his position. You are second only to him, until, of course, your son comes along. Should he die while your son is too young to ascend his seat as lord, you hold the lord''s place, if he has no brothers."


    I had never heard such a thing before. I said nothing, my mouth hanging open. Hotaki rose from behind his table and came toward me, kneeling in front of me. He placed his hands on my shoulders, and looked me in the eye.


    "Your parents did not tell you these things?"


    "No," I said. "I had no knowledge. I was always told women were less than men, and..."


    "There is some truth in that," he said, "but just because women are less than men does not mean women cannot do great things as men can. If a lord shows heroism in battle, and a peasant soldier does as well, then in that moment, the two men become equal. They can never be equal in who they are, but they can be equal in what they do. This is what it means to be a lord''s wife."


    Hotaki''s words stirred something in me, like one had lifted the cover off a gas lamp and filled the room with light that was second only to the sun. Not thinking, I threw my arms about him and found myself in his embrace. He responded to my touch by putting one arm about my shoulder, the other patting the back of my head as if he was unsure of how to hug someone.


    I realized what I was doing, and pulled away from him as quickly as I had hugged him, rising to my feet and turning away.


    "Forgive me," I said.


    The rustle of cloth told me he was standing as well. "What for?" he asked. "Aren''t we friends?"


    Oh, but Hotaki, you do not know of the way I thought of you. I turned to him, and he once more put his hands on my shoulders.


    "I...yes, Hotaki," I said. "I can call you my friend."


    "As my lord''s personal assistant, I should call his wife my friend."


    I wondered if he was friends with any of the other wives, or if I was the first. He pulled me into another hug, this one tight and more natural than the first, and as I returned it, I realized that he must have felt nothing for me, like the way I had thought of him. Even as I stood in his arms, I searched for that feeling my thoughts had given me when I imagined being his, and I felt nothing. Perhaps it had simply been a fleeting wish that vanished as soon as it had come.


    Hotaki released me. "Whenever you need help, or advice, you come to me, or Komo," he said.


    I nodded. Hotaki motioned to the table.


    "Now, you''re needed for the last step of joining families," he said. "All you have to do is sign your name."


    As he returned to his table, and I knelt before it to sign the character for my name, I felt better and more confident in myself that Hotaki saw me as more than a vessel to carry a baby. I did have a friend in him, I thought, when I had never really had friends before.


    I finished my name, seeing my parents'' names beside Lord Ashiro''s, and as Hotaki rolled the scroll and dripped wax, the heavy feeling in my chest began to disappear. If it was the Creator''s will that I be married to Ashiro, I would go along with it, After all, my family was in a better place now, and I was as well.


    But I had to stay alive, one way or the other, and the deaths of the previous wives brought a new kind of heaviness in me. The secrets of the island would not remain buried from me.

 Chapter Sixteen

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    I breathed in the frigid air, the snow crunching underfoot. The pathway, coated in a white layer of the flakes, had a sort of comforting silence over it.


    I wrapped my shawl tighter about myself, lifting it over my head to keep my ears warm as well. I looked back behind me to see that the rooftops of the house were further away than I thought. The pathway itself led into the depths of the pine forest that made up the rest of the island.


    I had come outside after a light lunch and some tea to cure my headache. The cold felt good on my skin, and as I was tightly wrapped in robes of wool, with extra pairs of socks on my feet, I was suited for a walk in the snow. All I wanted was the quiet¡ªno birds, no bugs, no sound of nature. The frozen silence was enough to calm my nerves.


    The bells from the island''s temple rang out the hour, and I made note of the time. I did not want to be out too long, or past sundown.


    I continued on my way down the stone path, into the woods, where the snow was thinner on the ground because of how close the pines had grown together. I could have called it dark inside the woods; the light from the sky did not penetrate the branches and needles this far.


    Soon, the crunching sound of my feet in the snow gave way to the clack of my shoes on the stone path. I strained my ears to hear any sound of life, but the only thing I heard was the creak of the branches under the weight of the ice and snow.


    Not a soul had told me I wasn''t to go into the woods, but the further I went along, I had this sense that I did not belong under the trees.


    Get used to it, Yori, my mind whispered to me. The whole island tells you that you do not belong here.


    It was possible I didn''t. I continued along, staring up at the tangle of naked branches. But I was here, and nothing could take me off the island. I did not see myself leaving anytime soon.


    Unless I go in the form of ashes, contained within a wooden box.


    I swallowed. The reality of my position as wife brought the expectation of my own death. I was sure, then, that the rest of the region was patiently waiting, already pulling out their black robes and wooden masks for the funeral that they were certain was to happen.


    Did not the emperor know of this? Would he not try and stop the needless deaths of innocent women?


    Peace.


    I stopped and pressed my hands to the sides of my head, as if that would crush the thoughts into nonexistence. No, no, I wouldn''t let myself think of this. But it was a constant pressing thought, one which I could not avoid. If I died, how? Would I be sacrificed? Murdered by my own husband? Or would an illness creep up from the ground of the island and take hold of me, slowly draining every bit of strength until I was nothing more than a lifeless corpse?


    My chest felt tight, my heart racing. I pushed further into the woods, down the path, and began to hum Usikawa''s Lullaby to myself, hoping that the sound would do something to calm me. The path took a turn ahead, and I thoughtlessly followed it, hoping that I would be lost deep in the woods where no members of my lord''s house would find me.


    I didn''t want to be found, at that point, and though Hotaki''s words earlier that day had given me some hope and joy, I still felt the looming shadow of my death hanging over me.


    I needed to be alone, surrounded by nature, and my feet carried me deeper into the woods. The silence of the woods, with no sound of living things, seemed to settle over me, and I stopped.


    I had hardly noticed that I was no longer hearing the clack of wooden shoes on cobblestone. I turned, moving the shawl from my head so I could see behind me. Nothing but the pines, standing together, could be seen around me. I turned to look over my shoulder, but there was no sign of the path, simply more trees. The frozen silence was unbroken aside from the beating of my heart. The light and snow had not reached the thicker part of the forest, and I stood among the pine needles, waiting perhaps to hear some sound of another person coming down the path.


    I could see no cobblestone, but as I looked around my position, I saw that I was standing on a beaten path, perhaps tread into permanency by many feet over many years.


    There was a possibility that it would carry me in a loop through the woods, back to the cobblestone path. I hadn''t wanted to be found, but it didn''t necessarily mean I wanted to be lost. If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    I almost laughed at the thought that went through my brain: my first day being a wife, and I would be found frozen in the woods.


    I decided it was best to go along the trodden path, rather than try to find the cobblestone, and get lost in the woods, until there was no chance of my ever being found.


    But I must have been foolish! The island was not overwhelmingly large, and I would have found my way out of the dark pines quickly enough. Except¡ªexcept, the pines seemed to swallow me, and all the light, and all the warmth. As I hurried along the path, my toes and fingers began to feel the pain from my exposure to the cold.


    The deeper I went into the woods, the darker it got. I tried to peer through the pines, which were growing closer together, their branches snagging at my clothes so I had to wrap them tighter about myself. Were my eyes playing tricks on me? I was certain I was seeing fog in the trees, in the form of a great gray wall. Fog meant I would be near to the shore, but as I went further on the path, I realized that I was looking at a wall of stone.


    I stopped. The pines had thinned out around the wall. I realized it must have been the wall that ringed the island to preserve it from invaders, but as I drew closer, I gasped. Staring at me was a snarling dragon''s face carved into the stone. I ran a hand along the weather-beaten surface. I could see the faintest traces of white paint on the dragon''s face.


    The Inugoya Dragon.


    I looked down to see that the path ran along the wall, so I decided to follow it. I kept my hand along the wall, glancing every few steps I took. There were more dragon faces, each one snarling in a different way, yet all equally ferocious and terrifying. As I walked, I came to the realization that it was curving around, and that it must not have been the wall around the island. It made a ring keeping something inside¡­


    I stopped when I saw that I was before the doors, and as I turned my head, I could see that the trees opened up, and the path stretched on from the strange walls, and I was looking at some kind of yard, and the path was lined with statues of warriors in armor. I went into the yard, looking at the statues. There were seven of them, I counted, each the same, holding their swords at their sides. I glanced back at the doors, where a white dragon stared at me.


    Something settled in my skin. I felt sick for a moment, and my feet felt heavy, as if the ground was drawing me in. My heart pounded with terror¡ªthough I did not know why. I could not keep my balance, and had to seek support by leaning against one of the statues.


    As suddenly as it came, the feeling passed. I was left bewildered, wondering what had caused me to feel that way.


    But there was no time to think on it. I heard voices on the other side of the door. Something told me that it was not my place to be there, so I hurried back to the wall, moving out of sight of the doors just in time¡ªthey were creaking open, and I pressed my back against the wall, holding my breath as I heard two male voices grow louder as they passed through the doors. I heard the doors shut, and a voice humming, before a click sounded.


    "It will have to do for the time being."


    I recognized the voice of the high priest, and waited, straining my ears to hear more.


    "Until then," the priest went on, "I recommend speaking with Yori over the matter."


    "Teku." Ashiro''s voice touched my ears, firm, tired, sad. "She is a child."


    "She is also your wife, and carries nearly the same responsibilities as you." Teku sounded like a father speaking to his son. I heard him sigh, and I remained motionless when I saw their backs, as they went walking down the path.


    Ashiro wore a black cloak over his robes, and he pulled it tighter about himself¡ªI thought I saw him shudder. "She is not ready. You saw what happened last night."


    "I know, I know." Teku placed a hand on the lord''s shoulder, and they walked away like that, their voices fading as they went off. "But what was foreseen will happen anyway, whether you try to stop it or not."


    "It is no prophecy," Ashiro said. "Futures can change. It doesn''t have to happen this way."


    They stopped speaking, and by the time they resumed their conversation, they were already out of earshot, their voices only a soft murmur, like the breath of the wind in the trees.


    I took a deep breath after having to breathe lightly for so long. Ashiro and Teku vanished in the trees, but I waited until I could see no trace of them, or hear their voices, before I finally moved.


    I tried to pinpoint what exactly I felt watching my husband and the priest walk away from the strange stone circle. All I can describe it as is confusion. What did they mean it was my responsibility as well?


    I stepped out onto the path, and looked about at the statues, before turning back to the doors. For a moment, I thought I had seen the eyes of the dragon glowing, but I blinked, and I figured it was my imagination.


    I stepped forward and wrapped my fingers about the handle of the door. Perhaps what was beyond the doors would explain things.


    I pulled. The doors did not budge, and I remembered the click I had heard. Locked, of course. I stopped, and looked around, spotting a tree that was growing close to the wall. The wall, I guessed, as at the most twelve feet tall, but if I could climb a tree and see if there was some way to get within the strange circle¡­


    Somewhere, far off, the bells of the household rang out the hour. I counted: it was the sixteenth hour of the day. It was getting late, and though the sun was not yet setting, it was getting dark within the woods. I didn''t want to be stuck in the woods when darkness fell. I looked back at the doors one last time, and decided it was best I went home, before I was missed.


    I would return to the strange stone circle the following day, perhaps early in the morning. If it had something to do with me, it was my right to know.


    I hurried along the path, praying it would take me back to the house. The thought of my husband keeping such secrets from me made me determined to discover them. After all, he had chosen me as his wife, yet he sought to keep secrets from me. I was certain that if I were older, and his ideal choice of a wife, he might have indulged all of his secrets to me, possibly even before the day of our wedding.


    I did not look back at the doors as I went along. As I left the strange circle behind me, I began to feel light-headed, and tried to pick up my pace before I began to feel more dizzy than I already was. I did not want to be found fainted somewhere I was certain I did not belong.

 Notice

    Guys, it''s been <em style="font-style: italic">months since I''ve updated but...unfortunately, I''ve had some serious problems. First of all, I had all my notes and outlining in a notebook, but my cat spilled water on it and I didn''t notice until many hours later. By that time, the water had soaked in enough to warp all the ink to the point where I couldn''t read it and had to throw it away. To play it safe, I decided to outline on my computer. Everything was going well, and I had well over thirty thousand words typed up. I wanted to finish the novel before I began uploading it again.


    Well, you can probably guess what happened.Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    My computer crashed.


    And I lost over thirty thousand more words of the novel, complete with the outlining I was doing. I''ve been trying to get back into the roll of it...but it has been so hard to do this. Just...losing so much was such a huge blow, especially the revised outline. I''ve been set back by it, but I hope you can be patient with me while I''m going through this.


    I''m very sorry for the hiatus.

 Chapter 18

    I stood on my balcony in the chill, cradling the cup of tea in my hands. It was some time until supper, yet I needed the warmth back in my bones since returning from the frigid woods. I had changed into a finer robe and knotted my hair in the fashion married women did, so I would look presentable to my lord when I went to dine with him.


    It was known that Ashiro preferred to take his meals alone, the great dining hall reserved for feasts and formal occasions. However, as I was his wife, I would be taking my suppers with him from then on, in the privacy of his quarters.


    I dreaded company with him after the previous night. What would it hold in store for me? I expected a scolding at best, his wrathful silence at worst. I had mentally rehearsed an apology to make when the time was right, hoping it would be enough to make amends for the spectacle I had caused.


    His quarters were across from mine, accessible by the walkways that connected most of the buildings of his house. I could see them from where I stood, but they were unlit, perhaps since he was somewhere else within the house, waiting out when he would have supper with me, just as I stood waiting, afraid of his company.


    The clack of sandals broke through my thoughts, and I turned to look down the walkway, expecting Komo or Hotaki to summon me to supper, only to be disappointed when I saw it was neither of them.


    It was Itsua.


    I remained where I was, wary of his presence, as his behavior before the wedding had concerned me.


    "Yori," he said, pausing some feet away from me. "I have come to tell you good-bye."


    I took another sip of my tea to hide my wariness of him. "Are you leaving?"


    He nodded. "Everything between Lord Ashiro-han''s house and your father''s is settled. Your family is now tied to his, and they shall be well off."


    It was good to hear. I allowed a small smile in Itsua''s direction, for though I was on guard against him, his words brought me relief.


    "I suppose this is the last we shall be seeing of each other for some time."


    It did not cause me sadness. In fact, I was nearly overjoyed that Itsua and I would be separated by the sea for who knew how long. In fact, I saw little need for him to visit the island except on account of my father, and in return, I had no intentions of going to the mainland to visit him.


    "Do not hope that we''ll see each other again," I said. I looked ahead, across the courtyard and the bare, grey trees. "I don''t see myself leaving this island." It felt strange to voice my own fears to Itsua, a man I could hardly imagine as my husband, yet I was now firm in my belief that I would live my remaining years¡ªhowever few I had left¡ªon the island, and could not keep it sealed within me.A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.


    Itsua said nothing for some time. Finally, he sighed, and spoke. "I could have given you a better future." His voice was soft, hardly above a whisper. "I can only offer my deepest regret that this has come upon you."


    I turned to him, and was for a moment struck by the sorrow I saw in his eyes. It vanished as soon as I saw it, replaced with that which I was familiar¡ªthe way he always looked down on me, as if I was lesser than he. Not even my position as lady of the island would give him cause to respect me.


    "Your mother was right," he said. The whisper was gone. "You are selfish, and now look what you''ve got for yourself."


    I faced him, refusing to lower my head in his presence. My prayer to not be his wife had not been answered in my favor. Perhaps he was right. My selfishness had sealed my doom. But I could not fathom being Itsua''s wife; he had never been kind to me, never been gentle, only treated me as an object, a prize he was patiently waiting to win. I was sure that my marriage to him would end the way his previous one had, and I would seek love somewhere else, and take my life to spare myself the shame.


    "My family is better off now than they would have been had I married you," I said.


    "And you think this justifies your marriage to Lord Ashiro-han? You''ll only end up like all the others." He shook his head. "Just look at you. He must have no interest in you¡ªmaybe that''s the reason he hasn''t touched you at all."


    I knew he referenced my bare head. My face burned, and I took a breath to calm the sudden anger flaring within my chest. "A fate like this is better than being your wife." I was tired, and Itsua''s presence had begun to wear me thin. I was finished trying my best to be polite. "I would accept anything above being the mother to your children, bound to you until I died. Perhaps your wife was right in seeking love outside your marriage."


    Something flashed in his eyes; before I could move back, he struck me across my face. The force of it knocked my tea out of my hands and sent me stumbling. My head hit the stone wall beside me, and I crumpled to the ground, much in the same way as I had that fateful night in which my betrothal to Itsua had been dismissed.


    "Yori!" At once he was at my side, his face pale. "Yori, forgive me¡ªI had no control over myself."


    I swatted his hands away as he reached for me, standing on my own. "Don''t touch me," I ordered him. I stepped back, away from him, as he drew to his feet. My head already ached from hitting the wall, yet I would not let Itsua see me in a state of weakness. "I am the lord''s wife. How dare you raise a hand against me."


    "You must understand me..." he protested.


    I held up my hands in the silencing gesture. "A man who uses violence against a woman deserves no voice," I said.


    I could see Itsua clench his jaw as he regarded my hands, his chest rise and fall with an angry breath.


    "I could report this to my husband, but I will spare you that punishment." I pointed down the walkway, indicating for him to leave. "As lady of this island, and wife of Lord Ashiro-han, I now forbid you from stepping foot on this island again, until notice from either me or my husband."


    I had never felt such confidence, nor taken such authority on myself, but he had struck me; something he had never done before. I was suddenly afraid he had used it often on his wife, and no doubt would not have refrained from using it on me.


    "Go," I ordered.


    Itsua hesitated, appearing as if he wanted to speak, but was commanded to remain silent. The sorrow was gone, replaced with a deep scowl. He turned on his heel without a last look at me and stormed away down the walkway.


    Once he was out of sight, I picked up the teacup and retreated to the silence of my room to await Komo, who was to show me to Ashiro''s chambers for supper.

 Chapter 19

    I lowered myself to my knees before Ashiro''s door and counted to three before I knocked. Komo had informed me that one never approached his chambers from the outside¡ªa sign of challenge, traditionally. As his wife, I would always have to approach from inside, and could not enter the room before he did.


    My stomach churned with anxiety, as I had not conversed with my husband since the previous night, in which he had silenced me and left me to myself. I debated whether or not I was to tell him of what I had seen in the woods. I had the strange feeling it was not something I was supposed to see, though I had never been specifically forbidden.


    And was I to tell him of the ordeal with Itsua shortly before? My face still stung from the blow, and I had developed a bruise where my head hit the wall, and no amount of arranging my hair could hide it. I had rehearsed a few lies to tell if he noticed, though I had no clue how to hide the red welt on my face from Itsua''s hand. It stood out more on my white skin, and there was no hiding that from my husband either.


    From the other side of the door, Ashiro''s voice cut through the silence.


    "Enter."


    I took a deep breath, my chest seizing, and slid the door open. I kept my eyes on the ground as I rose to my feet, bowed once, and entered the chamber.


    At once the smell of food hit me, and though I had hardly touched food that day, I could not feel hunger. A table was placed in the middle of the room, various dishes of food set about, with tea in the middle of it all.


    I had only been in his chambers once, before the wedding when I had chased the child, but it had been dark and I hadn''t seen it since. Now, as I stood in the doorway, I saw that it was humble compared to what I thought it might have been. It was smaller than I expected, and though it sported walls painted with finely detailed landscape, it was hardly different from my parents'' room at home¡ªa personal altar in one corner, his futon rolled in another.


    Ashiro himself stood by the open door to his balcony, looking outside, but turned and closed the door behind him when I entered.


    "Shut the door."


    I closed it behind me, but remained beside it, unsure of what to do. Ashiro faced me, his brows drawn together and a frown on his face much like what I had seen at the wedding.


    "What happened to your face?" he asked.


    I swallowed to ease the dryness in my throat. There was no way I could have hidden it. He was bound to notice, and I had to use some excuse.


    "I slipped, my lord," I said. "The ice was slick today."


    "You''re not hurt?"


    "Not severely."


    He made no comment on my lie, though I felt that he was not entirely convinced. He nodded, once. "Very well. You must do better to be careful."


    "I will, my lord."


    I remained standing as he seated himself at the table. He held out his hand and beckoned to me; silent, I came forward and seated myself across from him, placing my hands on my knees. I tried not to show that, like I had been with Itsua, I was wary of my husband''s presence. After all, I was alone with him in his chambers, and I feared his intent was to keep me with him past supper.


    It was my place to serve tea to begin the meal; I served his tea, and then mine, before seating myself and waiting for him to take the first sip of tea.


    He said nothing as he sipped his tea. In the tense silence, I waited until he had set his cup down to take my own and sip at it. It did well to warm my insides, but not to calm the knot of anxiety within me.


    I was spared serving the rest of the meal, as he served himself. I set my tea down and took in the sight of the arrangement of rice, noodles, fresh seafood, and stews spread on the table before us. It smelled wonderful, and certainly tasted it as well, but I could not bring myself to be hungry. Despite my disinterest at the meal, I did not want to make Ashiro cross with me, so I served myself some rice and fish¡ªplain enough for me to stomach.


    I half expected him to make some remark about the ordeal last night. No doubt the city buzzed with the news of the wedding catastrophe, pulling the lord''s name into the mud a seventh time. It was all my fault. I had shamed his house, and perhaps his entire region.


    I ate a small bite of rice, the warmth of it sparking my appetite. Dare I apologize to him and get it out of the way? I would perhaps look like a fool if I did.


    "I have not seen you much today," Ashiro commented, serving himself some rice as well. "Are you ill?"


    I looked up, swallowed the mouthful of rice. "Not ill, my lord," I said. "But I''ve felt better before."


    He gave a small nod. He placed his bowl down, and I could see him take a deep breath. "I must apologize to you for...last night. My behavior was unnecessary."


    I paused. I had not expected him to be the one to make an apology.


    "I can see my words hurt you deeply¡ªthat is why you avoided me today, isn''t it?"


    "It is."


    He sighed, but I could see the smallest of smiles play at the corners of his mouth. "I was avoiding you in return," he said. "The shame I felt for hurting you kept me from seeking your company."


    I recalled the strange walled area in the woods, and Ashiro and Teku discussing...whatever I had to do with all this. Ashiro had still insisted I was a child, unprepared for whatever seemed to be hanging over the heads of all those in the island. His apology, then, felt somewhat shallow to me if he was still willing to treat me as a child and keep secrets from me.


    "You must forgive me," he went on.


    I set my bowl down, considering the man kneeling before me. "You have my forgiveness," I said. "In turn, you must accept my apology, for causing such a¡ª"


    He held up his hand. "I don''t wish to speak anymore of last night. It was an accident, and it is not your place to be sorry for what you can''t control."


    His words, for some unknown reason, caused me discomfort, but I nodded regardless. "Of course."


    "Now," he said, taking his bowl, "We shall enjoy our meal. It will do us both some good to be in each other''s presence¡ªwe shall start over, as husband and wife."


    I forced a smile. I found it difficult to enjoy when there was so much weighing on me. I was sure he meant kindly, yet I could not bring myself to trust him after his apology. "Husband and wife" caused my heart to jump. Being alone with him caused me concern; I had avoided him not only because of his hurtful words, but because of my fear to consummate our marriage. What exactly I was afraid of, I didn''t know. Once we did spend a night together, there was no backing out of the marriage until one of us was dead¡ªthe covenant would be sealed and my last hope of finding a way off the island would be gone.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.


    Another part of me prayed he would wait until the year was up and quietly dismiss me. Should that happen, however, I would have to say goodbye to my chance at marrying anyone else. Divorce denounced marriage, yet the bond was still there: marrying anyone else while divorced was similar to adultery. And in my case, being dismissed by a lord would be a great embarrassment for the both of us. He would be known as the lord who allowed his wife to walk away from him, and I would have to live my days alone with no husband or children, or take the journey to become a nun, forever with that shame hanging over my head.


    I deemed it a worthy sacrifice to make, yet I also scolded myself for being one to constantly run from marriages.


    I tried to eat my food despite my lack of appetite. I did not wish to cause Ashiro worry, so I forced the rice down. After all, I had hardly touched food that day, and knew I would wake up feeling worse in the morning.


    I thought against bringing up what I had seen in the woods¡ªI was certain it was not my place to be there, if Ashiro thought it best to keep it from me. A better plan would be to seek it out myself, and find a way to enter. On the other hand I feared what would happen should I be discovered.


    Should I have remained hidden for a few days, seeing when Ashiro and Teku came and left the walled area, remaining patient, then I would have known when it would be safe to work my way in...


    "Would you care for some wine?"


    I pulled myself out of my thoughts, raising my head. My tea had been unfinished, and I realized I had been sitting nearly motionless with my bowl in my hands.


    "Wine?" I echoed.


    "You seem distant."


    I hadn''t meant to become so absorbed in my thoughts before him. I had never had wine before¡ªMother and Father had never let me touch it¡ªand I wasn''t sure if I would have liked it anyway. But I didn''t want to deny my husband''s gesture, so I returned my bowl to the table and gave a small nod of the head. "I think I''m too tense," I said.


    "You would do well to relax." He served me my cup of wine himself, handing it across the table to me. As I reached to take it, our fingers brushed, reminding me much of that day before the sealing ceremony when my hands had touched Itsua''s, causing me to nearly drop what I had been holding.


    Only now, it was not as jarring, for Ashiro''s touch did not send a chill up my arms, or cause me to want to pull away as fast as I could. I took the cup, dipping my head in gratitude, and setting it down before me.


    Ashiro''s hands remained extended. "Give me your hands," he said.


    Unsure of what his intent was, I offered them to him anyway, allowing him to close his hands about mine like that night I had first wandered into his room. His hands were warm, still rough and calloused as I remembered, mine soft and white against his.


    "Are you always so cold?"


    "I am often," I said. "The winter does me no justice."


    To my surprise, he smiled at my reply, giving my hands a light squeeze before releasing them. "This winter had better end soon," he said, "or you''ll freeze to death."


    I knew he meant it lightly, but it was nearly ominous. His words reminded me that the days had seemed to be growing colder, rather than warmer since Ice-breaking Day. I shivered, but hid it by raising the cup of wine to my lips.


    That, and his casual comment about my potential death, caused the knot in my stomach to return.


    "I must leave you alone again tomorrow," Ashiro said. "I have matters I must see to with Teku, and I need to arrange for our journey to the emperor''s court."


    I guessed his matters with Teku involved the walled area in the woods, which he was so keen on keeping secret from me. On the other hand, the mention of "our" going to the emperor''s court sparked interest for me. "Will we be going to the capital?"


    He gave a nod of his head. "The imperial council is only a few weeks away, and I''m sure the emperor would like to meet you as well."


    The imperial council was always held at the end of the year''s first month, when new year''s festivities had eventually died down. Each lord left his region to head to the capital, to look back on the achievements and the shortcomings of the past year, and to plan for the year ahead.


    "Do you go every year?" I asked.


    He paused. "Of course," he said. "I do leave my island, Yori." Again, I could see that amusement on his face. "I am aware of the rumors my people like to spread about me¡ªthat I have not left since Miko''s funeral, and that I am gaunt and yellow, and perhaps even have sharp teeth and long black nails." He sipped his wine, one eyebrow raised.


    I remained silent, though I could feel heat creeping into my face. I had been one to believe a few of those rumors¡ªthough I had expected Ashiro to be a rather old man, instead of deformed and hideous as he had said.


    "It will be the first time you''ve left the region, if I am correct," my husband went on.


    "Yes," I replied.


    "As a lord''s wife, you will soon grow accustomed to travel. It doesn''t help to lurk behind closed doors and wither away."


    I finished my wine, placing the cup before me and setting my hands on my knees to indicate I had finished my meal. While the thought of leaving the island which had so quickly become my home brought me some joy, I also dreaded the thought of being in the emperor''s court. I had hardly enough experience to act properly before a lord without instruction, so who knew how well I would do before the emperor, and the rest of the lords and all their noble family. Certainly their wives were elegant, mature, beautiful even, already with children in tow. Ashiro would bring with him a child he called his wife, small and white. Would the ladies of the empire look down upon me with pity?


    "Poor girl," they would say, "doomed already. There''s another one to go to her grave."


    I expected that the lords were suspicious of Ashiro, with six wives dead before me, and I would feel all the more out of place.


    Part of me wished that I could remain behind closed doors, to spend my years in solitude.


    Ashiro set his cup down and rested his hands atop his knees as well. "Are you finished?"


    I nodded. He stood and indicated for me to. Once I was on my feet, he rang the bell for the servants, then extended his hand toward the balcony door.


    "Come," he said. "We''ll get out of the servants'' way."


    I didn''t know what his intentions were, but it sounded better than being around the servants, whose presence made my skin crawl.


    He opened the door and let me through first; I stepped out onto the balcony into the cold of the night. The air was still, and a layer of clouds hung over the island, hiding the stars from my sight. I hugged my arms about myself to keep warm.


    Ashiro closed the door behind him and drew to my side. The lanterns which hung from the eaves of the roof gave a warm light to the courtyard below, and I could see the rest of the house with the aid of their light, carrying on into the darkness.


    "I will escort you to your room," he said, offering me his arm.


    I hesitated, but hooked my arm in his. After all, it was only a short walk to my room, where he would leave me to spend the night alone.


    He led me down the walkway, the sound of our footsteps on wood breaking the silence. As we walked, a light snow began to drift from the clouds, glittering in the light from the many lanterns. It was nearly a beautiful sight, as if the stars were drifting from the sky to land on the rooftops.


    "It does look rather beautiful, doesn''t it?" Ashiro asked as we neared my room, as if he had read my mind. We paused, and he released his hold on me to extend his hand out toward the snowfall. "Since I was a boy, I had always believed the snow was the stars, and would try to catch a snowflake, only to have it melt once it touched my hand."


    He lowered his hand, but continued to look out over the courtyard. I stood where I was, tucking my hands into my sleeves to warm myself. I had thought I had been the only one to see the snow that way, yet here was the man I married standing before me putting to words something I had felt yet stayed silent about.


    I felt a chill¡ªperhaps it was indeed by the will of the Creator that I was to be his wife, one half of our whole.


    I pushed the thought away as Ashiro turned to me. "You do not talk much."


    I almost laughed at the remark, though there was no humor in my husband''s face. I had lived a life of always being silenced, and striking up conversation was something foreign to me. "I am very tired, my lord. Do forgive me." I stifled a yawn.


    "There is no need to ask forgiveness," he said. "You should get your rest."


    He reached toward me, taking a strand of hair which had worked itself free from the knot at I had tied my hair into, tucking it behind my ear. I suppressed a flinch when his hand remained on the side of my head, though his touch was soft and warm, with no indication he would hurt me. His eyes fell to the top of my bare head, remaining there longer than what I was comfortable with. I could feel my chest tighten with dread, feeling almost naked under his watch.


    I shied away from his touch and took a step back away from him. He noticed, stepping away from me as well.


    He cleared his throat and gave a slight dip of his head, sliding the door to my room open for me. "Good-night, Yori," he said. "I will see you again tomorrow."


    I bowed in return, but could not find in me the voice to answer him. I simply backed into my room and allowed him to shut the door for me. He remained at my door for a few seconds, before I saw his silhouette turn and continue down the walkway, eventually vanishing into the stillness of the night.