《The Alchemist's Potion》


 1 - Not the smartest of plans

    I was slammed against the wall of my entranceway. ¡°What the fuck, Jamie? The fuck have you given me?¡± Snake sputtered, his heavy breath raging out of his nostrils onto my face. The next thing he said shook my world.


    But I¡¯m getting ahead of myself. This story started last afternoon.


    My name is Jamie. I¡¯m in middle school, I¡¯ve skipped a class, and I pride myself in my vocabulary¡­ Mostly because I don¡¯t know anything else about me to be proud of. I¡¯m skinny, I¡¯m short, I¡¯m awkward to be around and people my age scare me. I¡¯m better with kids and with adults than I am with my classmates.


    When I was younger I was always compared to the stereotypical teacher¡¯s pet, only without glasses. I don¡¯t really know why I changed but¡­ I¡¯ve mostly stopped caring about school. I still get good grades because it¡¯s just plain easy. But I don¡¯t even do my homework anymore, all my free time I spend playing video games instead.


    But yesterday my mom sent me to play outside despite my begging not to. I thought I would just walk around the park for an hour or so then come back home and get back to my console, but the three kids in the soccer field had other plans.


    Snake and his two lackeys Dean and Lukas. Classmates. Also, my bullies. They¡¯d seemed to just be hanging around, until they noticed me and moved in my direction.


    Dean is a lanky guy, he has a mop of black hair on his head and permanent, dark eye bags, with a malicious grin that never leaves his face. Wears his leather jacket no matter the weather and pops the collar when he tries to be intimidating. Also, I¡¯m pretty sure he smokes. He¡¯s barely thirteen, and he already smokes!


    Lukas wears those 3D glasses they give at the cinema. Not the red and blue pair like years ago, the pure black ones that you¡¯re supposed to give back at the end and that look like poop. I¡¯m pretty sure he got the idea from that time travel movie. He keeps his blonde hair cut razor short and he¡¯s smart enough to adapt his outfit to the time of year.


    And Snake is the leader of the group. It¡¯s a nickname obviously, but I don¡¯t want to get beat up, so I¡¯ve learned to forget his name to avoid saying it by accident. Tall for our age, and sporting a light brown brush-up in guise of haircut. He¡¯s both the muscles and the brains of this whole affaire, despite having no affinity for the latter¡­ Which means their group¡¯s general cleverness doesn¡¯t fly high.


    It didn¡¯t take long for them to corner me. ¡°Going somewhere, Jamie?¡± Snake uttered under the snicker of his goons.


    ¡°Uuh¡­ No, not particularly¡­¡± I replied, my gaze shifting back and forth between the three boys as I futilely looked for an escape route.


    Dean came in and grabbed my shirt by the collar, keeping his grin right next to my ear as he explained in his raspy voice, ¡°You don¡¯t seem to get it, dude. That was an order.¡±


    They started dragging me along, keeping me in the middle of their tight formation to avoid me stepping out. ¡°Say, Jamie, what do you know about alchemy?¡± Snake asked me, not even bothering to turn his head towards me.Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    My heart skipped a beat at the mention of alchemy. This was this kinda rare and vast domain of potion-brewing and transmutation... And also a minor passion of mine. When I saw cartoons using it as a plot point for an episode or another, I always had a fascination for it I couldn¡¯t pinpoint. It always seemed so powerful, so capable of doing anything, of fixing anything. Unfortunately I knew I would never get to taste it in real life. Alchemy was ridiculously expensive, from entering the schools required to learn it, to practicing the art itself. ¡°A little, like everyone¡­¡± I modestly replied. Tooting my own horn was something I had to avoid while in this company.


    ¡°Yeah, bullshit. You think I haven¡¯t seen what kinda books you read during recess?¡± Snake replied, prompting Lukas to punch my elbow. ¡°There¡¯s a rumor an alchemist moved in town.¡±


    I kept my mind focused on rubbing my arm to pretend staying nonchalant, but I could feel a cold sweat make its way onto me anyway. ¡°Oh, that¡¯s nice. Is this related to where we¡¯re going?¡±


    ¡°Ain¡¯t you a smart cookie, eh.¡± butted in Dean, looking at me intently.


    I gulped.


    ¡°Alchemy can do all kinds of things, right Jamie?¡° Snake continued his explanation. ¡°Like change someone¡¯s hair or eye color, or give them muscles for a while?¡±


    ¡°A-Amongst other things, yes.¡± I stuttered. ¡°Permanent strength potions are considered illegal contraband, and there¡¯s been many sports scandals, so all potions related to strength are either temporary or reserved for medical applications-¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t ask for the whole wikipedia page, nerd.¡± Snake cut me off, letting the sounds of our footsteps replace discussion for a minute. ¡°Point is, I would really like a A in P.E....¡±


    I glanced at him curiously. ¡°But don¡¯t you already get As there?¡± In fact, wasn¡¯t it the only subject where you got over a C, I wanted to add, but my desire to avoid a black eye took precedence and I kept that for myself.


    ¡°No. I got a B in basketball and now my dad¡¯s pissed. Wants to cut my allowance.¡± Snake growled. I wasn¡¯t certain how a strength potion would help him there¡­ I was pretty sure his grade had been tanked for his lack of team play, but then again, I did say he wasn¡¯t the brightest bulb in the shed.


    ¡°So¡­ You want me to go to the alchemist and buy a potion for you?¡± I asked, unsure. ¡°I-I can do that if you want, I have my wallet-¡± Lukas snatched it out of my pocket and emptied it of all its money into his waiting hands.


    ¡°Pfft, pay? And get a receipt? And having the purchase declared? And letting the teacher know I¡¯ve cheated? Nah, Jamie. I want you to steal one. Way easier to keep it under the radar that way.¡± He flashed me a menacing grin as I felt a shiver down my spine.


    ¡°Are you crazy!?¡± I said before catching myself a bit too late.


    Snake flipped on his heels and grabbed my shirt. ¡°Shut the fuck up. Next time I¡¯m punching you.¡± He then released me from his rough handling, but not without pushing me first, to the laughter of his friends. ¡°Anyway. We¡¯re here.¡± He added, pointing his finger towards a ridiculously extravagant mansion I knew wasn¡¯t there a week ago. There really was an alchemist in town.


    I protested. ¡°I-I¡¯m not doing this, there¡¯s no way I can-¡±


    ¡°Oh, cuz you think you have a choice?¡± Lukas muttered with his gravelly voice while counting my bills.


    I paused for a moment, unable to find any word, before slumping my shoulders in defeat. They were three. I was alone. ¡°No, I don¡¯t¡­¡±


    Snake sent me aside with Dean, who pushed me along the house. ¡°See that open window over there? Climb in, find the potion, come back, and we just might not beat you up.¡±


    ¡°W-why don¡¯t you do it yourself? I mean¡­ I could¡­ Betray you, or¡­ something¡­¡± I said, trying to sneak my way out of this.


    But all it elicited in response was a guffaw from Dean, before he started whispering. ¡°Yeah right, sure ya will. Snake and Lukas would just stomp around the place, and I know nothing of the whole sneaking around business. But you always manage to just be so frickin¡¯ silent at school. S¡¯like you were born for this job. And wanna know why ya won¡¯t betray us?¡±


    I tensed up. ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Cuz you¡¯re a troublemaker like us, I can feel it. Bet ya you¡¯re even excited to do this, even.¡± As Snake and Lukas approached us, he took his usual volume once more. ¡°Now don¡¯t disappoint me, Jamie.¡±


    I didn¡¯t have time to parse what he¡¯d said to me that Snake spoke up. ¡°Coast is clear. Lukas, give our thief a leg up.¡± He complied, and so did I, scuttering through the open window and into what appeared to be a living room.

 2 - The mix-up

    So maybe Dean was right that I was excited, but¡­ Not for the reasons he thought. I wanted nothing more than to get out of this place, I had no desire to steal anything, the only reason my heart was thumping was because this was the closest I¡¯d ever gotten to alchemy.


    Unfortunately, as much as I didn¡¯t want to become a thief¡­ If I played smart, I could take a potion and avoid being caught. But wimping out and attempt to avoid the three kids awaiting me on the other side of that window? Fat chance. I¡¯d rather a minuscule chance of getting in trouble with the police than being guaranteed to come home beaten and bruised. For as much as I hated my bullies, I¡¯d tried countless times already to get the adults in my life to make it stop, and nothing had come of it. One more occasion wouldn¡¯t have changed anything, so there was no point in expecting any repercussions for them if they beat me up.


    I glanced at the room I was in. A cozy couch and a chair circling a glass coffee table, an intricate carpet on the ground, and full bookcases on each side of the room. I silently made my way to the door, cupped my ear against it to make sure there wasn¡¯t anyone on the other end, and opened it.


    I arrived in a simple corridor, giving onto a landing and a wide open kitchen on my right, and stairs spiralling up on my left. I started mapping the place to the disposition of the manor I¡¯d seen outside. My highest chance of finding the alchemy lab was upstairs.


    I went up a floor, looked around, then went up one more, both times only finding living quarters at a glance. Guess I only had to search more thoroughly now.


    ...Actually, I¡¯ll spare you some of the details. It took me twenty minutes of bathrooms, bedrooms and various entertainment rooms before I found what actually looked like not only a workshop, but an alchemy workshop. And one that, according to my limited knowledge, seemed incredibly traditional. No overpriced scientific equipment in sight, just jars upon jars of ingredients, a cauldron, and a shelfful of labelled bottles containing fully stabilized potions. And on the work table in the middle, a single flask. I wasn¡¯t expecting it to be the strength potion I was looking for, of course, but that¡¯s where I started my search.


    And the label on that bottle stunned me.


    In regal handwriting, it said, ¡°Gender Change¡±.


    The bottle had a very peculiar design. Instead of the usual flask, it had a shape more like you¡¯d expect a Djinn to pop out of.


    I could never forget the way I saw the purple concoction swerve and move around even at rest. Sometimes it would split into a light blue and a dark pink, weave into one another for a moment, then merge again, all the while a powder-like thing glittered in the substance.


    It was mesmerizing, and that¡¯s where my trouble began. Because I spent very long, very complete minutes, a dozen of them, just looking at it, at the bottle, at its content, at its label. Like I¡¯d forgotten my mission, there was something about the potion that was near otherworldly.


    I should¡¯ve had thoughts. I should¡¯ve asked myself why I even cared about it that much in the first place. But in the moment my heart refused to beat, my brain refused to think. I just saw it, and it was like I had found something I¡¯d been searching all my life without knowing.This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.


    It took all my courage for me to lift the bottle up from its resting place, and just hold it for a minute. Examine it under all its angles. I glanced at the cork like my eyes could make it disappear if I just looked at it intensely enough. But it was forbidden. I didn¡¯t want to steal. Did I? Of all the things that could have kicked my brain back in, it was Dean¡¯s words that I was a troublemaker like them. I imagined myself pocketting this potion for my own usage, and it weirdly didn¡¯t seem that strange. I didn¡¯t even know what I would¡­ do with it. I had no plans to force someone else to drink it. And drinking it myself¡­ The idea made alarms in my brain blare.


    It all went from bad to worse in that single moment: I heard footsteps. Someone was coming back and I had to abscond to the stairs quickly. I hightailed it and ran, without having found Snake¡¯s strength potion because of my dumb mind having glitched out over seeing that other one. Guess I was due for a beating now¡­


    I managed to make my way downstairs and into the living room unnoticed. There was the window I¡¯d came in through, and all I had to do was go back out. My feet stammered for just a moment while I prepared myself for what the bullies were gonna do to me, and I slipped out.


    I would at least get to say I tried, I thought and hoped.


    My feet hit the ground while I sported a scared expression on my face. I was surrounded by sharks, and I¡¯d come in empty handed.


    Snake approached me slowly, shooting me a menacing grin. I was sure he was looking forward to beating me up for failing. I closed my eyes for a moment¡­ And received a slap on my back. ¡°Good job, Jamie. I knew you were usable for something, even if it took you so long.¡± I looked back up, confused, and just had the time to feel something slip out of my hand.


    And.


    I.


    Froze.


    He was holding the gender change potion. When did he¡­? Had I not dropped it? ...Oh my god, I hadn¡¯t dropped it. I¡¯d kept it so tight in my grasp I hadn¡¯t even noticed I departed with it. Dean and Lukas snickered.


    ¡°Let¡¯s take this bad boy for a test drive!¡± He said as he uncorked it effortlessly, despite the tremendous mental energy I would¡¯ve expended in his place.


    ¡°No, don¡¯t!¡± I tried to call out, but too late. He¡¯d already brought it to his lips and drank from it.


    He shot me a glance with his always confident smile. ¡°What, you think I¡¯m stupid? I ain¡¯t gonna down the whole thing, gotta keep half of it for the actual class, y¡¯know.¡± His gaze then dropped down to the potion, to the label on it. I grimaced, my teeth grinding against one another, as I saw his smile drop instantly. We both shot a glance at his body in apprehension...


    But nothing happened.


    He quickly hid the bottle in his jean pocket, a weird pink tinge to his cheeks. He turned around, almost mechanically, and prepared to leave.


    ¡°Wait, where ya going, Snake?¡± Lukas asked, confused.


    ¡°I, uh¡­ I don¡¯t feel so good. I¡¯m gonna talk to you two tomorrow, okay?¡± He replied, before touching his neck with the palm of his hand, and being seemingly disappointed by what he found. He caressed it a few times then dropped his hand again.


    ¡°But what about testing the potion?¡± It was Dean¡¯s turn to ask a question. ¡°Aren¡¯t you gonna rough Jamie up?¡±


    ¡°NO.¡± He snapped his head back towards us, before realizing how uncharacteristic of him that had just been. His gaze stopped on me for a minute. ¡°Just¡­ Consider it your lucky day or something, twerp. No beating today. Scram. Let¡¯s all scram.¡±


    Lukas and Dean exchanged a glance, then followed their leader¡¯s order, though Lukas did take the time to punch my other shoulder anyway.


    ¡°Think the potion made him sick?¡± I heard Dean¡¯s voice mutter to his friend as they walked further away, leaving me behind.


    I rubbed my arm, looking up at the slowly darkening sky. A storm was approaching, so I rushed home, my head full of questions, the primary one being - if Snake had drank a gender change potion, why hadn¡¯t he turned into a girl?

 3 - Someone like me

    And that brings us all back to this morning.


    I was slammed against the wall of my entranceway. ¡°What the fuck, Jamie? The fuck have you given me?¡± Snake sputtered, his heavy breath raging out of his nostrils onto my face. He was holding the gender change potion in his right hand, still only half drank. ¡°Why the fuck do I wanna be a girl!?¡± He admitted, cheeks red and tears pooling at his eyes.


    I was absolutely stunned. Snake, my bully, was emotionally opening himself to me and saying words that rang eerily¡­ relatable. A question I didn¡¯t know I needed to ask myself, and when he did for him, it kicked the door open for my own feelings to pour out. My gaze dropped to our feet. ¡°I dunno, Snake¡­ I¡­ I do too...¡±


    I could almost hear the gears in his head turning. And one moment later, his gaze softened. He dropped me back down, then wrapped his arms around me and gave me the best hug of my life. It was tight and intimate, like we understood perfectly how each other felt. Like it was the first time ever Snake met someone that understood his feelings, he had been even more starved for compassion than I¡¯d been, and we wanted nothing more than to give it to one another.


    ¡°Everything alright, boys?¡± I heard my mother call out from the kitchen.


    We exchanged a pained expression and climbed the stairs up to my room.


    ¡°So¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡±


    ¡°Yup.¡±


    Snake was sat on my bed, and I on my desk chair. I¡¯d opened my computer, was browsing the web looking for answers. But typing in ¡®gender change potion¡¯ had only lead to pages upon pages of¡­ I think it was weird kink writing? But nothing relating to a real life equivalent.


    ¡°I fucking want to punch you right now, Jamie. For all this. But I can¡¯t even do that. Makes me feel too¡­ Manly.¡± I heard him mutter behind me, his tone dropping lower with every word.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry, Snake. I didn¡¯t know why I¡¯d grabbed that potion of all things, but¡­¡± I sighed. ¡°I guess I¡­ Wanted it to do something else.¡±


    I changed my search to ¡®I want to turn into a girl¡¯, and found a weird website. Under its logo, it said ¡°You could totally be a girl if you wanted.¡± I eyed it confusedly.


    ¡°Fucking hell, ma- Jamie¡­¡± Snake threw his head backwards onto my mattress, holding the bottle in his hand and being as mesmerised by it as I¡¯d been yesterday. ¡°Is this how you feel every day?¡±This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    ¡°I guess it is, but I would never have noticed it without all this¡­¡± The website sported a big, red, ¡®turn me into a girl¡¯ button that gave me funny feelings I was starting to understand the nature of. I skimmed the rest of the page, seeing words like ¡®transition¡¯ and ¡®transgender¡¯. I had seen them before of course, but I always thought they¡¯d referred to crossdressers? Clearly, this page didn¡¯t agree. I looked up ¡®transgender¡¯ next, so that I properly knew what I was struggling with.


    ¡°Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck this shit.¡± Snake stood back up and started pacing around the room, his walking was a mess where he constantly switched between walking like a girl, and falling back into his habits, grimacing every time it happened. ¡°Worst part is when I looked at the label and saw what kind of potion it was, I thought it¡¯d give me a girl body, not a girl mind. Then it just all fucking hit me at once.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m sorry. I saw it and just¡­ Poof. My mind went blank and I grabbed it and I didn¡¯t even notice I didn¡¯t put it back and then someone came and I couldn¡¯t look for the strength potion anymore and I also thought it¡¯d change the body rather than the mind and-¡± I stopped myself to take a breath. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. My thoughts are just as much a mess as yours right now.¡±


    ¡°I get that. I¡¯m thrown into a world I was never in, while you discover you always was in it.¡± He sighed, then started looking over my shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m sorry you had to live like this, Jamie.¡±


    I continued looking through the internet at words and their meanings, ranging from transition to non-binary, and our gazes both stopped on the same one. I read the definition, felt a pang in my gut I knew Snake was also having. The word escaped my lips in a mutter. The feeling of mismatch with one¡¯s own body: ¡°Dysphoria¡­¡±


    Snake was so enthralled he surprised me by reading quicker than me. ¡°Fucking hell. We have to become girls, Jamie. That¡¯s the only cure.¡±


    I blinked at the screen a few times, before slouching into my chair. From what little I understood, cure seemed to be an extreme word, but I get what Snake meant by that. We exchanged a glance, then I looked at the potion he was still holding. ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll manage, Snake. I¡¯ve lived my whole life like this so far, I can continue, probably. You just¡­ Drink the rest of the potion and turn your mind back into a boy¡¯s.¡±


    It was his turn to glance at the potion, and where his grip before was tight, like it was his most precious thing in the world, he instead started to hold it from the tip of his fingers, seemingly disgusted with it. ¡°I don¡¯t want to.¡±


    ¡°...Why?¡±


    ¡°...I¡¯d never have drank it in the first place if I knew what it did, sure, but¡­¡± He scratched the back of his hair, looking for the right words. ¡°As a boy, the idea of being turned into a girl was scary¡­ And now, as a gir-... With a girl¡¯s mind, the idea of turning my mind into a boy¡¯s is just as scary. I don¡¯t want to.¡±


    I glanced up at him¡­ Her? Should I start calling him her? ...I glanced up at Snake, noticed we were both shaking heavily. I lifted myself from my chair and wrapped my arms around my¡­ I wanted to call Snake a friend, now, tentatively. My friend. And my friend did the same.


    ¡°What do we even do now?¡± I asked.


    Snake paused and thought. Stopping the embrace, my friend moved to my computer and typed in ¡®change body alchemy¡¯, finding that, sure enough, it could go further than just muscles and details. I threw Snake a frightened glance. ¡°We¡¯re gonna get out of this the same way I got in it.¡±

 4 - An occasion for learning

    There was a lot that was wrong with our plan. According to the internet, body changing potions were also restricted to medical situations only, and making them permanent required to take special versions of them for years. But with the overwhelming dysphoria we both had right now, it was our best shot. Even if we¡¯d only manage to loot a single temporary potion, we felt a need so strong it would still be worth it.


    The manor looked even more menacing under the storm.


    We trudged in the muddy pathway surrounding the manor, and found the window from yesterday still open. I did my best to give Snake a leg up, who then pulled me in by grabbing my arms.


    ¡°Okay, where¡¯s the lab?¡± Snake asked, taking in the room.


    ¡°Upstairs.¡± I simply replied while removing my shoes. I didn¡¯t want to dirty the floor and make it clear we¡¯d passed by again. Seeing me, Snake copied my action.


    I mimicked my path from yesterday, making sure the coast was clear before going upstairs and directing us to the lab. Knowing where it was made it much easier the second time around, and Snake seemed to put as much effort as possible in staying silent. The stakes were genuinely that important to both of us.


    I opened the oak door and slipped inside the lab once more, and something caught my eye - there was a new bottle on the table. Snake followed me in and pulled out the gender change one, to put it back in its place.


    I pointed at the table and Snake placed the potion down, then took a glance as the label of the other one. ¡°Holy crap, Jamie, it¡¯s-¡±


    We were interrupted by the door of the lab slamming shut behind us. Snapping my head around, I saw an irate, tall woman with long pink hair glaring at us. She wore jeans, a white t-shirt and a witch¡¯s hat.


    Snake and I froze.


    ¡°I hope you¡¯re happy with yourselves, kids. Bet that potion you two drank really messed with your heads, didn¡¯t it? Came back to grab another one and revert it?¡± She said, an authoritative aura coming out of her gaze. ¡°Well too bad for you! I don¡¯t have the ingredients to make another one right now!¡±


    ¡°I-I didn¡¯t drink from it¡­¡± I stuttered out. Snake nodded in confirmation, hugging the potion he¡¯d found on the worktable.


    The alchemist¡¯s expression went from angry to confused. She stomped over and grabbed the gender change flask, taking note of its half-fullness. She then threw me a glance, then another to Snake, before switching back to me. ¡°...Didn¡¯t take it to get back at your bully?¡±


    I shook my head, looking down and awkwardly shuffling my feet. ¡°I thought it¡¯d change my body, then Snake took it from me¡­¡±


    The woman paused for a minute, then pinched the bridge of her nose and furrowed her brows. ¡°God dammit. Okay. I see the picture now.¡± She turned the gender change potion in her hand for a moment, then glanced at Snake. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you just drink the other half of it?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t fucking want to, okay?¡± Snake replied, the grip he held on the other potion tightening. ¡°I don¡¯t¡­ Wanna be changed back into a boy¡¯s mind¡­¡±


    Another pause.


    The alchemist cracked a pained frown. ¡°This is why I didn¡¯t even wanna make the damn gender potion in the first place. Drop the body change one back on the bench, we have some talking to do, you two and I.¡±


    ¡°Body change?¡± I asked, now suddenly understanding why it interested Snake so much, and sharing the desire to hold it.


    ¡°One thing at a time kid.¡±


    The alchemist sat us down at the table in her kitchen, filling an electric tea pot and starting to boil the water. ¡°Name¡¯s Lucille. You two¡¯s?¡±


    I twiddled with my thumbs. ¡°I¡¯m Jamie.¡±


    ¡°Snake.¡± My friend said, head resting on his hand and looking off in the distance.


    ¡°That¡¯s not a very name-like name.¡± Lucille replied as she opened cupboard and grabbed three cups.


    ¡°It¡¯s a nickname.¡± Snake muttered, a bit of anger slipping in his tone before grimacing.


    The alchemist nodded, putting the cups on the countertop. ¡°Alright. Bet you have even less of a desire to be called by your name now, too.¡±


    Snake threw her a glance, before going back to staring at the wall.


    She dropped a tea bag in each cup, filled them with hot water, then brought them to the table and gave one to each of us before taking a seat. ¡°Okay, girls.¡± Snake¡¯s head almost slipped off his hand, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. ¡°You¡¯re probably experiencing a lot of gender dysphoria right now. So how are you holding up?¡±The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.


    ¡°Did you just call us girls?¡± Snake asked.


    ¡°Sure did.¡± She said with a smile. ¡°Felt good, didn¡¯t it?¡±


    My friend blushed and went back to his brooding. I decided to reply for him. ¡°Yeah¡­¡±


    Her smile turned into a self-satisfied grin, and she straightened herself into her seat. ¡°Anyway. Gender dysphoria is distress relative to being treated as your-¡±


    ¡°We know what it is. We looked it up on the internet.¡± Snake cut her off with a grimace on his face.


    Lucille paused and looked at me for confirmation, to which I nodded. ¡°I see. You got luckier than me at your age, that¡¯s for sure.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re a transgender too?¡± I asked, my thumb twiddling stopping instantly.


    ¡°I¡¯m trans, yeah -It¡¯s an adjective by the way, not a noun-, it¡¯s what got me into alchemy in the first place. It¡¯s just the most effective transition method we have available right now, you know.¡±


    I paused for a moment, my brows furrowing as I thought of something. ¡°Is¡­ Is liking alchemy a transgender thing?¡±


    My question got a giggle out of Lucille. ¡°Well not exclusively obviously, but yeah, for some totally mysterious reason it¡¯s something a lot of us connect to. It might just be a hunch, but the idea of having something to easily shape your body readily available sounds enticing, wouldn¡¯t you say?¡±


    I dug my face into my cup of tea to avoid having to reply, my cheeks red beet.


    ¡°Hey, Snake, ever felt like changing your body before drinking that potion?¡± Lucille asked, turning her attention back to my friend.


    ¡°Nah. Never. Having muscles¡­¡± He grimaced. ¡°Having muscles and being manly felt good. Wouldn¡¯t have changed my body for nothing.¡±


    ¡°And what about now?¡±


    Snake¡¯s uncomfortable expression got worse, and tears started trailing down his face. ¡°Get me out of this body, fucking please.¡±


    I¡¯d never heard Snake say please before.


    The alchemist sipped on her tea, giving us appraising glances. She dropped her cup back on the table. ¡°That potion wasn¡¯t intended for being stolen, you know.¡±


    I looked up, curious where she was going with this.


    ¡°I have a friend. They started questioning their gender, realised maybe there was a mismatch between their brain and their body - their gender and their sex.¡± She threw us glances to make sure we were following. ¡°So, you know, do as usual, make the body match the brain, right? ...It wasn¡¯t that simple. They have a wife, you see, and their wife¡­ She¡¯s gay. So if they went ahead with their transition¡­¡±


    The room was silent for a moment.


    ¡°They simply decided they cared more about their marriage than their gender. So they asked for something to make the brain match the body instead. Broke my heart, but I¡­ I eventually caved, you know. It¡¯s a tragedy I had to. Minds are supposed to be sacred.¡±


    Another moment of silence.


    Lucille finished her cup of tea, then looked at Snake dead in the eyes. ¡°I¡¯m telling you all this as a warning. Being trans isn¡¯t easy right now. So, Snake, you have a one in a million chance to get out of it. Sure you don¡¯t want to take it?¡±


    Snake produced a sound midway between a guffaw and a groan. ¡°Ain¡¯t you just said minds are sacred?¡±


    The alchemist smiled warmly. ¡°You¡¯re a good kid, Snake.¡±


    ¡°I think I should object to that¡­¡± I muttered, and received a punch on the elbow from my friend in response. Though¡­ It was different from usual. Less mean, more playful. I gave them a grin.


    Lucille stood up from her chair, towering over our slouched selves. ¡°Alright, I¡¯ve got a plan to ease your family and friends into it. But just before that, here¡¯s something important you need to know. You¡¯re part of the unlucky trans folks that experience gender dysphoria. There¡¯s some that don¡¯t. Doesn¡¯t make them any less trans. I want you to say ¡®Good for them¡¯. You got that?¡±


    ¡°Good for them.¡± I repeated.


    Snake glanced at Lucille a bit confused, before shrugging. ¡°Okay. Good for them, yeah.¡±


    With that motto internalized, Lucille directed us back into her alchemy lab.


    Right as we traversed the door, Lucille threw herself into a monologue. ¡°Alright girls. You two know pretty well what¡¯s going on in your heads by now, so at least we can skip convincing yourselves. Trust me, a lot of folks have a harder time at that step than you.¡± She approached the table on which the potions had been left. She put the gender one aside, then pulled out a second body change from her shelf. ¡°So next step is convincing your friends and families. Problem is, cis people, they¡¯re bad at visualising the end result of a transition. If you listened to them, you¡¯d be thinking you¡¯ll be spending your whole life looking like guys in dresses and that¡¯s straight up just ignorant bullcrap. I mean, just look at me.¡±


    We looked at her, and, uh... she was right. Snake coughed and glanced away.


    ¡°Yeah I guess that¡¯s the second thing.¡± She said, flicking her wrist and pointing towards Snake. ¡°Your sexuality and your gender ain¡¯t linked, so, you could totally turn out to be lesbians, maybe even date each other, and anyone who¡¯d judge isn¡¯t someone you should care about.¡±


    ¡°Can we just get on with it?¡± I pleaded, now unable to look at my friend without feeling the usual awkwardness having come back.


    ¡°Right, back to the topic.¡± She extended towards each of us a body change potion. ¡°This is to give your folks a headstart in shaving off their stupidity. You drink this in front of them, focus on your desired bodies, and once the effect settles you tell them that¡¯s what you wanna be. They¡¯re gonna struggle way less to imagine what you¡¯re gonna look like in a few years with that memory to start off of, and that¡¯ll make it easier for them to accept and support your transition.¡±


    Snake went to grab their potion, but she pulled her arm away.


    ¡°That¡¯s on one condition though.¡± Lucille said, her tone incredibly serious. Our eyes were attentively staring at her face. ¡°No more stealing. And you¡¯ll be doing your transition completely legally under my guidance. There¡¯s a time to stick it to authorities and a time to listen to your elders.¡±


    I glanced at my feet and followed with a nod, finding little drive to object. I guess I wasn¡¯t a troublemaker like Dean had said, as much as someone that had lived in trouble.


    ¡°Do we really have to tell my parents¡­?¡± Snake asked with a defeated tone.


    ¡°I will literally adopt you if it goes bad.¡± Lucille blurted out with an intense gaze.


    ¡°Wait, seriously?¡± I found myself asking in confusion.


    She tried to wave my concern away with a flick of her wrist. ¡°Well not literally literally, don¡¯t think that¡¯s quite legal, but you¡¯re definitely welcome to come live here ¡®til you¡¯re eighteen.¡±


    Snake interjected. ¡°How the fuck¡­? How loaded are you?¡±


    ¡°Alchemy pays well.¡± Lucille replied with a shrug. ¡°You might¡¯ve noticed I¡¯m pretty alone for such a big house, that¡¯s because I keep empty rooms for friends in need to crash in. Speaking of, please stay here until the weather clears. You¡¯ll find some stuff to play in the next room over, just make sure you don¡¯t wipe my saves.¡±


    Snake and I exchanged a look.


    She turned her attention to her phone as she pulled it out of her pocket and checked the time. ¡°I¡¯ve got a call to make for a friend I¡¯m enabling the mistake of, now that their potion¡¯s back, so if you¡¯ll excuse me...¡± She hurried out the door, leaving me in Snake¡¯s company once more.

 5 - Where we stand now

    We played fighting games for a dozen minutes or so, before it became evident the difference in skill was too big and we switched to a multiplayer platformer. We had a weird arrangement where we switched each level who got to play the girl character.


    On one more instance of Snake¡¯s character taking a hit and shrinking down, they muttered aloud ¡°I wonder what it¡¯s like to be small¡­¡±


    I kept my eyes on the screen, my character jumping over a pit. ¡°We were small when we were kids¡­¡±


    ¡°I mean small but as a grown-up, dumbass.¡± They groaned as they had to wait for the respawn timer again. ¡°Like, I guess if my girl form was a shortie¡­¡± They idly scratched their cheek and threw a glance at the potion they¡¯d dropped next to them on the couch.


    ¡°Do you¡­ Do you want it to be?¡± I replied with curiosity, timing a jump just right to grab a collectible.


    ¡°Urgh¡­ Maybe? I never had to ask myself what I¡¯d wanna look like as a girl before, so¡­ ¡± Snake dropped the controller, apparently just content watching me play at this point.


    ¡°Yeah, right, right¡­¡± As I idly wondered, I realized I¡¯d actually had that train of thought many times before, and just didn¡¯t take particular notice of it. I¡¯d imagined what would happen if I¡¯d been turned into a girl by something or other, how my parents would react, how I¡¯d react, what I¡¯d look like¡­ I reached the goal and made my way to the next level in solo, leisurely getting to play the girl without fighting for her. ¡°I guess I¡¯d just want to¡­ Be average or something?¡± I finally replied. ¡°Being a pretty girl sounds exhausting¡­ If I ended up too stunning I¡¯d just wear baggy clothes and keep it to myself¡­¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re a weirdo, Jamie. If you¡¯re a girl you don¡¯t have a choice not to be good looking.¡± They grabbed their potion and inspected it for the fifth time since they¡¯d gotten it.


    I shot them an unimpressed glance. ¡°Do you even believe in what you¡¯re saying?¡±


    My question caused Snake to pause for a minute, and once more it was almost like I could hear actual mechanics rattling in their head. ¡°Yeah, I guess it¡¯s shitty to think like that, actually¡­ Can¡¯t believe it took me getting a girl¡¯s mind to realize that.¡±


    ¡°Well, if we have girl minds, I guess that makes us girls?¡± I bounced off both of their phrasing and the head of an enemy to get an extra jump. ¡°Since minds are more sacred than bodies¡­¡±


    A blush appeared on their face as they pulled their legs up against their torso, and they started uncharacteristically stammering. ¡°T-that¡¯s how that works, but¡­ It feels weird to think of me as a girl¡­ Weird but good, but weird¡­¡±


    We stayed silent for a while, the only sounds being the background music of the game and chippy quips of my character. I rolled my tongue against my palate and took a breath, speaking aloud to no one in particular. ¡°Hello. My name is Jamie and I am a girl. Jamie is a girl. She is a girl.¡± I coughed and felt both the embarrassment and the happiness catch up to me and color my cheeks. Snake was in a similar state, their gaze stuck on me.


    ¡°I guess¡­ I guess Snake is a girl too¡­¡± I heard her mutter under her breath.


    More silence. I focused back on the game just to wrangle my emotions back to something I could handle¡­ And heard a little ¡®plop¡¯ on my right. Turning my head to the side barely gave me the time to see Snake, cork in hand, drinking from her body change bottle.


    I scuttered in the corner of the couch while Snake stood up, her eyes looking glazed over as if she was groggy. In a surprising bout of effort she managed to recork her potion before letting it softly land on the cushions.


    She pressed her hands against her temples and grunted in pain. I saw her height fluctuate back and forth for a moment, before her limbs settled on growing, making her even taller than she already was. At first she seemed pleased with the development, but her expression instantly switched to a grimace and she muttered ¡°No, no no no no, please, no-¡±, prompting the potion to completely reverse ship and shrink her down to a half foot smaller than she was before.


    She collapsed on her knees and hugged her arms as she lost her hard earned muscles in favor of softer limbs. In hindsight she must¡¯ve had a slightly precocious puberty to have such a masculine body at our age, and her new form reflected that in femininity just as much?


    Well she definitely didn¡¯t have the curves of an eighteen year old supermodel, but she definitely screamed girlish, with just a modest layer of fat settling on her hips and chest. Connecting this new appearance to the Snake I¡¯d always known until today was nearly impossible - it was really as if simply changing her gender had integrally changed her personality and desires too, a thought that made me queasy.


    Though that seemed unlikely since Snake started to sob, as her hair lightened to a wheat blonde and poured down until it hung limply on her shoulders.


    I waited to make sure the changes were over before approaching her and gently rubbing my hand on her back. ¡°Are you okay, Snake?¡±The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    ¡°I dunno, I don¡¯t fucking know¡­¡± Snake replied, absentmindedly shifting positions to sit on the ground and give her knees a break.


    There was a knock at the door.


    ¡°Did you finally drink your potions, girls?¡± Lucille asked from the other side.


    ¡°Wait, we were allowed to?¡± I responded, at least relieved we weren¡¯t in trouble.


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t have given them to you this soon otherwise.¡± The alchemist opened the door and saw us sitting on the ground. She approached Snake and looked at her for a moment, crouching down. ¡°Are you okay, Snake?¡±


    My friend stifled a giggle and smiled despite the tears pouring on her face. ¡°Of course I¡¯m okay. I¡¯m in a girl body now, but, like¡­ I can¡¯t do sports or fight or anything anymore, there¡¯s really no turning back now¡­¡±


    Lucille raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. ¡°Girls can do all that too, you know.¡±


    ¡°Yeah but it¡¯s not girly! It¡¯s manly! It makes me feel bad when I do, now!¡± Snake exclaimed, her eyes fixated on a small dirty spot on the carpet. ¡°Being manly was my world and now it¡¯s like I want to puke when I think of doing boy stuff¡­¡± I let my hand continue to rub in circles on her back.


    ¡°Oooh, I see how it is.¡± The alchemist gave Snake a compassionate gaze. ¡°Methinks you have a lot of internalized sexism to get rid of.¡± She grabbed her shoulders, prompting my friend to finally look up at her. ¡°Hey. You¡¯re still young! It¡¯s way easier to get rid of dumb beliefs early than as a jaded adult. We¡¯ll make you forget that manly-girly nonsense and just have you do you the way you damn want to. Won¡¯t make you any less of a girl, Snake.¡±


    She exhaled, then buried her eyes in her arm and wiped away her tears. ¡°Thanks.¡± That too, I had never heard from Snake before.


    ¡°Yeah!¡± Lucille gave her a gentle grin. ¡°When I¡¯m done with you you¡¯ll get to do whatever you wanna do, no matter if it fit in the boy or the girl box before. No matter what you choose to do it¡¯ll be girl stuff, because it¡¯ll be a girl doing it. No need to forfeit anything you love just to please those that say girls and boys aren¡¯t allowed to do certain things, even when some internal voice inside of you is part of that dumb group.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a lot of ways to repeat the same thing.¡± I butted in as I took a moment to think of where I stood in that whole girl stuff-boy stuff thing. I¡¯d never actually¡­ Really cared, didn¡¯t I? I knew what was supposedly labelled which, and I guess I did consciously avoid most boy stuff, but more because it just didn¡¯t grab my interest than because it made me feel bad. I mean, I still played video games a lot, and that has a boy sticker on it, doesn¡¯t it? A dumb one that shouldn¡¯t be there, but still, I don¡¯t feel awful when I play video games. So, at least compared to Snake, I definitely had a head start.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you check out your own potion instead of sassing me, Jamie?¡± Lucille snarked back, helping Snake to her feet and directing her towards sitting on the couch.


    I threw a guilty glance at the flask I¡¯d left next to my controller, torn between wanting privacy and just drinking it here and there, being a bit apprehensive after seeing how my friend had turned out. ¡°I won¡¯t¡­ Go ultra stereotype girly like Snake, right?¡± I received a growl from her.


    ¡°Not unless you want to.¡± Replied Lucille, sitting down as well.


    ¡°Right, right.¡± I paused for a moment before standing back up and fetching my potion.


    I quickly understood why Snake had looked like she almost fell down at the start. The moment the potion burned my throat I felt all my senses going haywire. My skin felt microscopic prickles all over, like I was hyper aware both of the air against my skin and the minusculely uneven flow of the blood under my flesh. Colors spilled and slurred into one another no matter where I looked, and the potion felt like it weighed a million tons, yet I still held it in my hand effortlessly. I did as Snake had and recorked it before I risked dropping it.


    The moment passed as quickly as it arrived and I was left with just the lingering feelings. My point of view climbed up a few centimeters as I gained some amount of height I¡¯d be hard pressed to determine.


    I felt a very light, budding amount of flesh come pile on my chest and I hoped it would hide my apparent ribs. I wanted the potion to help with my skinniness too, but was it even something it could do? The fat Snake had received didn¡¯t come from nowhere, and comparatively there was nothing on me the potion could even fetch and use as material, and if anything, with the extra height I was stretched that much further. Just then, almost like it heard me, I shrank back down to my usual height, narrowly avoiding looking ghastly thin. With a sigh I resigned myself to finally accepting my mom¡¯s demand that I take nutritional supplements, I guessed I would tell her later today.


    My hair gained a single inch, going from a bowl cut to stopping at my cheeks. After it settled I confirmed it hadn¡¯t changed color, and wondered how much of Snake¡¯s change had been affected by her image of what a girl could and couldn¡¯t be at the moment she drank it.


    As for my down-there, I won¡¯t go into details. I¡¯m twelve and that¡¯d be creepy.


    Snake seemed to have the same realization as me that most of her changes had been unnecessary, as she guiltily glanced away, refusing to look at me.


    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± I muttered, testing my voice. ¡°Hello, I am Jamie. I am a girl. She is a girl.¡± I was surprised this time not to feel any embarrassment or discomfort. The joy was more muted, mostly being a passive feeling of rightness.


    Lucille shot me a warm smile. ¡°That¡¯s the spirit, Jamie.¡± Her expression shifted back to something more serious. ¡°Speaking of, this should be about the moment for a new name if you want to change it, girls? Well, Jamie is pretty gender neutral already, but what about you, Snake?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t¡­ I don¡¯t have one in mind¡­¡± Snake replied, squishing her hands between her legs, while I went to join them in sitting on the couch.


    Lucille raised her eyebrows and slowly nodded her head, stretching her arms along the backrest. ¡°Right, the whole never had to think about that until now deal. Well don¡¯t worry, it¡¯s not like you have to change it right this instant, especially since you already have a nick¡¯. You¡¯re still fine with Snake, right?¡±


    ¡°Definitely. Yeah.¡± She blushed for a moment, biting her lower lip and squeezing her left hand with her right one. ¡°But, like, a cute snake instead of a mean looking one now. Or one that¡¯s both.¡±


    ¡°Both suits you.¡± I piped up, throwing her a teasing smile. Though after seeing that her reaction was her blush deepening, it just prompted me to get one of my own and I scuttered deeper in my seat.


    Lucille gave the TV a thousand yard stare. ¡°You know what? I am not comfortable near soapy tween love so I¡¯ll leave you two to it, okay-thanks-bye.¡± She blurted out, before she powerwalked out the room.


    At least that seemed to have cleared up Snake¡¯s thoughts pretty thoroughly, as I recognized a more familiar expression from her on her face: annoyance. ¡°What the actual fuck.¡±


    All I could do was offer a shrug and pick the controller back up, pretending the alchemist¡¯s misinterpretation had also left my mind.

 6 - Anxieties in the air

    The potions wore off at about the same time the weather did. And somehow, having to go back into our boy bodies hurt even more after getting a taste of being girls¡­ Snake in particular was having a very rough time. She wasn¡¯t so much frowning as straight up dying inside, according to her face. I could see her fingers jitter over the pocket she had put her potion in, itching to just drink from it again.


    Lucille had sent us on our way, with the demand that we prod our parents¡¯s ¡°opinion¡± on transgender people, and if the way seemed safe enough, to come out to them. She¡¯d explicitly stated she was making us go through this process at mach speed, but to be honest we were so desperate for getting to permanently have girl bodies we¡¯d sworn to keep up with the pace.


    Still, Snake requested a detour. She led me through unfamiliar, claustrophobic neighbourhoods, rundown concrete buildings contrasting with the well-to-do houses I was used to. I was aware I had received a luckier lot in life than most, but never had it stared me so hard in the face until now.


    I was a bit confused as she led me to a building that seemed as if it had been abandoned midway through its construction, grey bricks and mortar left apparent, and just ahead of us, small wooden stairs that were clearly meant to be temporary having long since started to rot.


    After a short climbing up that took me way too long to feel confident the stairs wouldn¡¯t give underneath me, Snake brought me to a corner of the second floor equipped with gnarly looking decorations and three beanbags that had been for sure lifted from a landfill, and given the barest pretense of a cleaning before being brought here. I could see Dean and Lukas¡¯s heads pop out of the two that were facing away from us.


    Hearing our arrival, Dean was the first to turn his head, a lit cigarette at his lips. ¡°Sup Snake, avoided the rain have y-¡± He had a double take at my presence and tugged at Lukas¡¯s sleeve, prompting the latter to finally glance up from a broken game console he was tinkering with.


    ¡°Why¡¯s he here?¡± Lukas asked, frown on his face as he put his screwdriver in his pocket.


    Snake threw me a sympathetic glance, seemingly sorry for the way Lukas had just addressed me. ¡°Jamie¡¯s here because¡­¡± I heard her voice crack a bit. ¡°Because we have something to tell you.¡±


    Dean gave us a snicker, shifting onto his belly and puffing his cigarette once. ¡°Heh, knew it. Welcome to the misfits club, Jamie.¡±


    ¡°No, that¡¯s not- that¡¯s not what¡¯s happening.¡± I quickly corrected, shaking my hands in an apologetic manner.


    Dean¡¯s smile drooped back down. He then said something, without malice, something that surprised me. ¡°Wait a minute¡­ Is this a coming out? Are you two gay together or something? Snake shakin¡¯ like leaves¡­¡± Lukas was as much a man of few words as usual, but he definitely seemed to be paying extreme attention. Dean continued, ¡°S¡¯fine if you are, Snake. My uncle¡¯s one of the gays too.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not into men!¡± Interjected Snake. ¡°I mean- I don¡¯t- It¡¯s not- I don¡¯t need to, I think¡­¡± I could clearly picture the stereotypical image of the housewife she was struggling against right this moment.


    ¡°Why would ya have to be into men, dude?¡± Lukas asked, now sporting concern on his face.


    Snake continued to stumble on her words for a moment while I fruitlessly tried to calm her down by squeezing her arm. She got her potion out of her pocket with a shaky hand, stammering out ¡°I¡¯ll just show you!¡± as I failed to stop her from drinking twice the dose she needed for a single presentation of her new self.


    ¡°Will you please help me, she¡¯s panicking!¡± I screamed at the two boys, before grinding my teeth at accidentally outing Snake. They rushed to our aid with a slightly confused expression on their faces, helping her stay standing up as she seemed ready to puke at any moment.


    If I had to use one word to describe how her transformation went this time, it would be unstable. Wriggling despite herself in the grasp of her friends, she seemed to be screaming and groaning in pain as her body kept shifting rapidly everywhere, lost and confused just as much as her between what she wanted herself to be, tall, muscular, rough, and what she thought she had to be, tiny, pretty, defenseless.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    It was by total chance that the potion ran out of juice and settled at about a midway point between the two - her hair not as long as before, but still considerably lightened, her height pretty much equivalent with her male form, limbs sporting both muscles and curves to a small degree each.


    Lukas seemed stunned for a short moment, before he inched her slowly towards one of the bean bags, sitting her down and gasping for air in relief.


    Dean followed suit, taking a glance at his defunct cigarette that had been dropped to the ground during the struggle, wheezing and taking a breath between each word. ¡°Yeah¡­ Well¡­ It went¡­ Way smoother¡­ With my uncle, in comparison¡­¡± He smacked his lips and spat on the ground.


    I swiftly walked over, grabbing Snake¡¯s hand between my own and gently caressing its back. ¡°Are you okay?¡±


    ¡°Like the whole fucking ceiling¡¯s falling on my head, Jamie.¡± She replied, holding her forehead in pain.


    ¡°Since when¡¯s Snake a girl?¡± Lukas asked pretty tactlessly. I shot him a glance, after which he elaborated. ¡°Look, transgenderism I don¡¯t know well but I at least know Snake. She was completely a dude.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, well, that has changed.¡± She uttered out with a groan. ¡°My brain got mixed up and I don¡¯t wanna turn it back, so I¡¯m trans now. Deal with it.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ Was the strength potion yesterday past its use-by or something?¡± Dean pondered while he moved back to his seat.


    Snake glared intently at me, causing her friends to do the same. I sighed, feeling put on the spot, and muttered as I walked to the last available seat. ¡°It wasn¡¯t a strength potion. I got distracted by a gender change one that was left on the counter and I didn¡¯t get the time to warn Snake before she jumped on it.¡±


    ¡°Yeah well maybe speak up next time.¡± She grumbled in response, though to the tone of her voice it seemed clear she herself knew the fault was on her.


    Lukas rolled his eyes. ¡°Why d¡¯you even grab that one.¡±


    ¡°At the time I wouldn¡¯t have been able to get why, but now I know it¡¯s because I misunderstood the label as sex change instead of gender change.¡± I pulled my own potion and drank a dose to illustrate, my body taking a few moments to achieve the same girl form I¡¯d gotten at the alchemist¡¯s house.


    Dean scrunched up his face slightly and pointed his finger in my direction, his eyes darting about in thought. ¡°Wait¡­ So¡­ You were a girl all along?¡±


    I replied with an uneasy smile, idly scratching the back of my head. ¡°Well I didn¡¯t know I was, but yes.¡±


    Lukas started glaring at me pretty intently, looking me up and down while I felt my knees go weak under the scrutiny. ¡°You don¡¯t even make a pretty girl.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s cuz she doesn¡¯t want to. Leave her alone.¡± Snake replied on my behalf, dropping her hand off from her forehead and onto her knee. Lukas got disinterested and went back to the console.


    Dean chuckled as he pulled out a new cigarette from his pocket along with a lighter, fighting for a moment against it to light it up. ¡°How¡¯s it feel to be a girl, Snake?¡±


    She shrugged. ¡°How would I know? I¡¯ve been a girl for barely a day, and like, the alchemist said I have sexism to get rid of before I really get to be myself.¡±


    ¡°That sucks.¡± He replied, taking a puff out of his smoke. ¡°Oh, and does that mean you¡¯re lesbian now?¡±


    Snake blushed. I blushed. An awkward silence settled in.


    ¡°I-I mean,¡± I finally managed to blurt out, twiddling my thumbs to keep my voice from trailing off. ¡°Gender and sexuality aren¡¯t the same thing, so if... if... since Snake liked girls before, I don¡¯t see why that¡¯d have changed.¡±


    Dean turned his head towards Snake looking for a confirmation he never got, as she very intentionally looked away, pretending to be interested in Lukas stripping the console for parts. He went back to me, an ominous grin on his face. ¡°And what about Jamie?¡±


    I felt caught like a deer in headlights and crossed my arms. I surprised myself by blurting out my thoughts, unable to stop. ¡°I don¡¯t- I never- I¡¯ve never asked myself¡­ There was Sarah in fourth grade I wanted to kiss on the cheek, but-¡± Finally regaining control of my mouth, I snapped. ¡°Why are you asking anyway!?¡±


    ¡°No reason, just curious.¡± He replied as nonchalantly as possible, waving his cigarette between his fingers.


    ¡°Oh my god I fucking swear Dean if you¡¯re scheming something again.¡± Snake clenched her fist, eyes fixated on Dean. I felt like she definitely had more trouble than usual keeping her goons in check, or maybe that¡¯s how it always was for them when they weren¡¯t busy making my life a nightmare? I realized I really didn¡¯t know them well beyond how mean they usually were to me, and as that thought arrived, a sudden, anxious unease settled in my gut. Glancing at their faces gave me flashes of the way they treated me before, cold sweat trickling down my forehead. I found myself unable to enjoy their company once again, even the new Snake I suddenly didn¡¯t want anything to do with.


    ¡°I need to go.¡± I muttered under my breath as I stood up from the beanbag in a single movement. Snake gave me a curious glance as I passed her by, and grabbed my sleeve. I was unable to hide how scared I was when we exchanged a look.


    She took a moment to connect the dots, before sighing. ¡°Fuck. Jamie, I¡¯m sorry, we¡¯re sorry for how we treated you. If I¡¯d known that¡¯s what your daily life was like¡­¡±


    Dean muttered a ¡°Sorry¡± between two puffs of smoke, and I even received from Lukas a silent nod of agreement.


    I kinda broke down crying there and then. Snake did her best to comfort me, hugging me like when her telling me what the gender potion had done made me realise I was a girl. It felt liberating. For the second time today, I found myself wanting to put our past aside and just enjoy that we understood each other¡¯s struggle now.

 7 - The bottom line

    The remainder of my afternoon went as a bit of a blur. I was surprised by how good, if tense, a time I had with Snake¡¯s gang. There was a sense of peace that kind of overtook me from how quickly Dean and Lukas had switched to thinking of Snake and me as girls. A bit surreal even, but I was better off counting my blessings and hoping for it to always go this smoothly, even if I blatantly knew that wouldn¡¯t be the case.


    The potion wore off for me hours before we¡¯d estimated it would for Snake, courtesy of her double dose, so I waved them all goodbye while they stuck around at their lair waiting for their chief to be able to go home in boy mode. The journey back home was uneventful, and after I¡¯d arrived I even found within myself some unknown energy to do part of my homework for once, mentally preparing myself for what I had to announce at the dinner table. I felt proud of myself - was I finally getting back to my studious habits?


    On Sunday morning, as soon as I was done gulping down my breakfast, dressing in the usual tee plus jeans combo and packing my backpack in case I felt the drive to finish my homework, I was out the door and I walked to the alchemist¡¯s mansion. After I rang the doorbell, I had to wait a dozen seconds before getting to hear a key turn in the lock and the door opening, revealing Lucille still in fleece nightwear, allowing me to add late riser to the list of things I knew about her.


    ¡°Oh Jamie, you¡¯re here early. How¡¯d it go with your parents?¡± She asked, sidestepping to let me enter.


    ¡°Well, I did stutter a lot I guess, but your plan worked like a charm, so, uh¡­ Thanks.¡± I gave her a warm smile, to which she replied with a grin and a thumbs up despite the tiredness.


    ¡°Well, you can go wait in the game room while I finish my breakfast. Don¡¯t make too much noise though, I have a couple guests still sleeping.¡± She dragged her feet back in her kitchen with a yawn, while I climbed the stairs and installed myself in the room Snake and I had been in yesterday. I unpacked my potion from my bag, took a dose and comfortably settled in my girl form as I grabbed a controller and turned on the console.


    It was about a half hour later that I heard the door rattle and someone coming in the room. I quickly threw a glance backwards in between two punches, spotting Snake, already in her mixed-strength girl form, sporting a gauze on her nose and her left cheek. I paused the game and stood up in shock, closing the distance and hugging her. ¡°Gosh, Snake, what happened?¡±


    She was surprised for a moment, before returning the hug and ending it just as quickly. ¡°Nothing I didn¡¯t expect.¡± was her cryptic answer.


    Even though she refused to directly say it, I could still connect the dots. So, it hadn¡¯t gone well with her parents. I let my gaze fall to the floor, holding her hands in mine. ¡°I am so sorry.¡±


    Snake clicked her tongue. ¡°It¡¯s whatever. I can handle it. I¡¯m just living here now is all, it changes nothing else.¡± I could tell to the tone of her voice that she wasn¡¯t believing in what she was saying, but I couldn¡¯t blame her. All I could do was offer another hug, before we sat back down on the couch together. ¡°As for you?¡±


    ¡°Mom was a bit weird about it at first, but after I drank the potion, she seemed to understand a bit better. I think she bought some books on the internet about it so she can research it herself. Also¡­¡± I zipped open my bag and pulled out one of the few dietary complement drinks that I¡¯d shoved in it. ¡°I¡¯m on these now. So I stop being scrawny.¡± Putting it back in the bag, I sighed and dug my back deeper into the couch. ¡°So much easier to care about my health now that I actually like what I get to be.¡±


    Snake nodded in understanding. She certainly showed me more empathy than ever before. ¡°Gonna actually get off the bench in sports class now?¡±


    I thought it over before offering a meek smile. ¡°Maybe? Let¡¯s keep to baby steps for now. What about you, isn¡¯t it gonna make you feel too boyish?¡±


    ¡°Oh fuck.¡± She replied, apparently the first time she even thought about it. ¡°Well, the goal is that I lose my sexism, right? Can¡¯t do that if I don¡¯t fight back against it.¡± The door rattled while she was speaking, Lucille entering the room. ¡°I¡¯ll be fine, when I got a problem with someone I always face it head on, guess it¡¯s just one I got with me for once.¡±


    ¡°Heya girls. How¡¯s your nose this morning, Snake?¡± The alchemist said, leaning against the couch.Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    ¡°Feels better I think.¡± She replied, pulling off the bandage and revealing a mean slashing scar along her right nostril. ¡°It doesn¡¯t hurt anymore at least.¡±


    Lucille crouched and looked at it a bit closer. ¡°Yeah, looks like the medical potion did wonders. Do you wanna keep the scar? Because otherwise one or two more should suffice to heal it fully.¡±


    Snake slid her fingers on the wound¡¯s remains a few times. ¡°Do I gotta decide now?¡±


    ¡°Nah, you¡¯ve got, what, two months before it fully settles like that? I was asking in case you already knew.¡± She turned her gaze onto me. ¡°As for you Jamie?¡±


    I repeated what I¡¯d said just a moment ago to Snake, showing off the bottle before putting it back in my bag.


    ¡°Good, very good. I¡¯ve got some paperwork to go do for your transitions, mind fetching me when my other invitee wakes up?¡± Lucille asked, raising back up to her full height.


    ¡°Sure.¡± I simply replied.


    Snake and I passed some time teaching her how to play video games a little better. Her muscle memory of the controller layout was starting to develop, and that allowed her to enjoy it a bit more. The self-satisfied grin on her face when she managed to reach the end goal was reward enough. Helping people was fun.


    I eventually heard someone walk down the stairs, prompting me to get up from the couch and check the corridor to see if that was Lucille¡¯s invitee. There was a man (I assumed he was a man, for he had stubble) there, looking pretty tired with some awful bed hair. As he spotted me he simply offered a wave before going down to the first floor.


    As I¡¯d already visited most of the rooms before, I managed to find Lucille¡¯s office relatively quickly, then it took half an hour more before we all convened in the kitchen again.


    We were all sat at the table, save for the alchemist who was busy taking care of the dishes of the morning. The other guest simply ate some jam bread with some coffee in some silence, before Lucille eventually cleared her throat, prompting him to look confusedly at her. She gestured toward us and he promptly gulped down his bite of bread. ¡°...Heya.¡± He muttered.


    After a sigh, Lucille took over for him. ¡°Raph, this is Snake and Jamie, the two kids I talked about yesterday. Snake, Jamie, this here is Raphael, who¡¯s the one I made the gender potion for in the first place.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ That¡¯s the dude that was a girl, but has a gay wife so he needed to be a girl again?¡± Snake asked, jogging her memory as she spoke.


    Lucille leaned against the counter, crossing her arms. ¡°Not the right way to put it, but yeah, that¡¯s the person that asked me for help escaping their problems, just like they¡¯re trying to weasel out of this conversation right now. Raph!¡±


    ¡°Do we really have to do this this early in the morning, Lu?¡± He took another bite of his meal.


    ¡°So¡­ Does that mean he didn¡¯t drink the potion in the end, if he¡¯s still a guy?¡± I asked, tapping my fingers against the table until I realised I was doing it.


    Lucille shook her head. ¡°No, they did.¡±


    Raphael jumped to the defensive, burying his head into his shoulders. ¡°Come on Lu, are you really gonna drag me through the mud in front of kids?¡±


    ¡°Yes I am, because this is an intervention and you need to learn to actually face your problems instead of asking for magical solutions that¡¯s only gonna make it worse for you in the long run. Too bad I had to wait until something actually bit you in the butt for you to become somewhat receptive.¡± Lucille turned her head towards us again. ¡°And for you two, this is just more trans 101 lessons like yesterday. Use they/them for Raphael.¡±


    Snake rested her head on her hand, looking somewhat bored. ¡°Okay¡­ But why?¡±


    Lucille beamed, launching herself into a pre-planned explanation. ¡°Well, some people are non-binary, means they¡¯re neither fully a man nor fully a woman. There¡¯s ton of different possible identities there. These people usually tend to use different pronouns, most of the time they/them-¡±


    Snake cut her off. ¡°Nah that I know, I saw it on the internet, I meant why, I thought they were a dude.¡±


    She bit her lip, apparently containing disappointment over losing an occasion to teach us something as we already knew it. Her expression switched back to pensive as she looked for the right words. ¡°Well, Snake, remember how the first time you took your body potion, you felt yourself being kind of stretched thin between what you wanted to be and what you thought you had to force yourself to be? Until much by chance it settled as somewhere in between. That¡¯s pretty much what happened with Raph. Wanted to stay a man, thought they had to force themselves to be a woman for their wife¡­ I¡¯d do a second potion to switch them back to male, but I don¡¯t trust them not to force themselves even further towards female right now.¡±


    ¡°Dang, can¡¯t you give this guy a break?¡± Raphael replied, bringing their hand behind their head and scratching at their hair before pouting. ¡°Okay yeah getting mildly dysphoric over calling myself a guy sucks. Much preferred the happy butterflies. Consider the lesson learned.¡±


    Lucille heaved the deepest sigh I¡¯ve ever heard from her yet. ¡°Alright, alright, I¡¯ll¡­ Damn do the potion again if I have your trust you¡¯ll use it to switch yourself back. Gonna take me a few months. Better use them to plan a course of action with your partner, okay?¡±


    Raphael¡¯s answer was a sincere, if dejected, nod.


    The rest of the day resumed pretty simply, with me geeking out in the alchemist¡¯s game room while Snake went out to spend the afternoon with her crew. Lucille and Raphael busied themselves in her office¡­ And it was on this calm, maybe even anticlimactic note, that the most important week-end of my life ended. I don¡¯t quite know what the future has in store for me, but now that I know I¡¯ll get to face it head on on my own terms, with a newly found reason to care about myself¡­ Maybe life just got that bit simpler. Picturing where I would be in a decade had always been impossible for me before, but now? The image is crystal clear.