《The Wolf Lord's Lady》


 Chapter 1: Ending like that, you and me.

    <h4>Chapter 1: Ending like that, you and me.</h4>


    Our house rules over vast holdings, received for our ancestor¡¯s military achievements.


    Territory received from the deeds of our ancestor. However, not all ruled benevolently, making the fief and the subjects cry. Especially, my grandfather and my father were very cruel. For their luxuries, they exploited their subjects and the affluent fief quickly grew gaunt.


    Of course, the subjects were outraged. However, grandfather and father persecuted those whoined as if was the most natural thing, ruling through fear.


    Our house was called heartless brutes of the worst kind.


    .


    .


    Thus, it¡¯s no surprise that it woulde to this.


    I stared vacantly at the burning mansion.


    The house that had a beauty like a pce was burning down.


    When I nced down, the beautifully maintained gardens, which were taken care of the numerous gardeners that were reced at just one mention of mother¡¯s dislike for the colours, with sincere care¡­¡­ no, with the will to not get murdered, were burning with white smoke that mixed into the pitch ck smoke.


    The flower I nted before, that I wished to gift to him, had not yet blossomed. It was pitiful to see a flower that would never bloom again.


    Because someone like me nted it in this garden, that seed died without even having the opportunity to turn into a flower.


    .


    With my arms twisted up and my knees on the ground, in front my eyes, there were the heads of father and mother, who were calling their subjects pigs. Having locked themselves in the cer, grandfather and grandmother will burn inside. When I hung my head, the scenery changed. However, even as I stared down, there were faces full of grudge and resentment, and I was surrounded by even more hatred.


    .


    In front of me, some soldiers came over.


    Amongst them, the one wearing different armour is someone important in the rebel army¡­¡­ no, the revolutionary army. The man nonchntly wiped off blood from his cheek, blood definitely from someone I know, and spoke to the person standing next to me.


    ¡°I apologise for causing so much trouble for a long time, here and now.¡±


    My hair that wasbed neatly loosened and some strands obscured my view.


    With the smoke and hair, it would have been nice if I could not see anything.


    However, what I had wished did note true.


    ¡°No, I should be apologising for the trouble I caused.¡±


    Even as my poorly squirming heart had no normal parts, it came apart from that voice.


    ¡°Sir, you shouldn¡¯t have had to y the part if a dog.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t say that. There just wasn¡¯t anyone else around the fitting age.¡±


    ¡°Is that so¡­¡­ but Kaid-sama, it felt as though you were trying to stop our hearts. It didn¡¯t feel like were alive.¡±


    The man stared at the other man as his bitter feelings oozed through.


    His name is Helt, a year younger than me, sixteen years of age, brown hair and beautiful golden eyes.


    Mother hired him because his face was pretty. During the two years of work, he did not get displeased at any trivial work, epting every work with a smile. Everyone liked him. Among the frequently changing employees, he was very young, and during the two years he did not anyone¡¯s ire.


    However, it¡¯s different. I smiled thinly.


    Because the man called him Kaid. I don¡¯t even know if his age is real.


    Everything I know about him is probably false.


    Worrying about his short height, smiling sheepishly with a soot-stained nose from cleaning the chimney, liking animals, blushing because he received a flower from a town girl, being craven and kind to not kill a single bug, using his holiday to buy me, who could not sleep well, warm tea.


    .


    Being my lover.


    .


    All lies.


    .


    While kneeling, I silently averted my gaze from Helt who was consoling the men surrounding him.


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    .


    .


    .


    .


    I didn¡¯t even think of leaning against the cold stone walls of the cell, and sat down on a shoddy bed that looked as though it would copse any moment, something which I saw for the first time in my life. How many hours passed? How many days passed? I knew that food was ced for me. However, I had counted the number of times, so I did not know.


    I did not care. Counting did not mean anything.


    .


    I heard footsteps. They stopped in front of my cell.


    I knew you woulde. It would have been nice if I could say that.


    While hanging my head down, Iughed at myself.


    Helt woulde. I could say that with confidence. But because I did not know where the Helt I knew was, I could not predict his actions.


    Without tidying my dishevelled hair, I slowly raised my head.


    It was like the night sky. ck hair and golden eyes. Even the colour was a lie? I didn¡¯t even have the energy to deride myself.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­Mydy.¡±


    I liked his calm and peaceful voice. I loved his kind and soft speech.


    But I didn¡¯t want to hear it, never again.


    .


    ¡°What could it be, new lord. Are you here to mock this foolish woman who ruined herself from getting seduced by a younger man?¡±


    ¡°Mydy.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t bully me too much. You had said that a lot, had you not? I am but a sheltered, foolish woman. What else do you need from this miserable woman who was ruined from giving everything to her first love that bloomedte? Mansion? Nothing. Dresses? Nothing. Jewels? Nothing. Family? Not anymore. Lover? Never was anywhere.¡±


    ¡°Mydy.¡±


    ¡°Father¡¯s corruption? I never knew from the beginning. That¡¯s why it took two years. Sorry I didn¡¯t know anything, I ended up wasting your precious time, I¡¯m sorry. How pitiful, having to y along to an old woman¡¯s delusion, ying the part of a lover.¡±


    ¡°Mydy!¡±


    From his shouting as he grasped the iron bars, I shut my mouth.


    ¡°Mydy, you knew nothing. You did not do anything wrong. You were just living in the mansion. That¡¯s all you had to say. Why didn¡¯t you testify so. Why did you confess to sins that you did notmit. I can¡¯t calm the people at this rate.¡±


    ¡°I knew that grandfather was buying paintings every week. I knew that father was buying morend yet again. I knew that grandmother was buying jewels every week. I knew that mother was buying dresses every week. I knew that the gardener was reced, I knew that the maid was reced, I knew that the stable was reced. Without thinking about the meaning behind those, I led an extravagant life for seventeen years. Am I not a sinner enough?¡±


    The lord¡¯s house that was worse than mindless beasts. That was what the people shouted. That must be true.


    As rulers, as human beings, as men, as women, as adults. No matter what, we were the worst.


    But they were my family.


    As a father, as a mother, as a grandfather, as a grandmother. They were neither devils nor mongrels, just normal people.


    I also have responsibility for not advising them. If my extravagant lifeing from their sins is not a sin, then what could it be. From the point I was born out of their sins, I am atrocious sinner.


    ¡°Moreover, even if I say that, what would happen? Are you saying that you will let me go with no charges? Are you going to say that you will return the mansion, the garden, my family, my everything? Well, isn¡¯t that grand.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll be living in a monastery in the mountain. You can never return to thisnd, but you will live.¡±


    ¡°So you would like me to live and drown in abuse. How cruel.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­I just want you to live.¡±


    I ended up bursting in toughter. I meant tough pleasantly, but it distorted into an ugly one.


    .


    ¡°Liar.¡±


    .


    His expression froze. What a funny face.


    However, the funniest thing was,


    ¡°It must have been funny. Seeing a woman¡¯s heart pound and her lips curl from just your smile. Come to think of it, the handkerchief I embroidered poorly, I never saw you using them. Did you get rid of it the day you got it? I even baked cookies I never tried before. Though you did have them. Did you feed the rest to the pigs? I even nted a flower to give to you on your birthday. It probably turned into ash by now. What a relief, to not get a flower from someone like this woman.¡±


    He did not say anything. He lowered his head with that funny face, and when he lifted his head again, there was no emotion in it.


    ¡°To make some time to talk to you, I earnestly listened to the lectures I disliked. It was merely espionage for you¡­¡­ I did well, didn¡¯t I? I stayed up to finish my homework¡­¡­ I thought that it would be alright to abandon my house if I was with you, so I even studied business. Though I wasn¡¯t very good at it. I learned to cook, do theundry and clean in secret. You worried for my hand full of cuts and bruises, but I wonder if you didn¡¯t care. Or did you think that it served me right? I wonder if you were disappointed that I wasn¡¯t hurt more. Would you have smiled if a finger was cut off?¡±


    Aa, what a stupid and ridiculous woman.


    This stupid woman whose brain was worse than a mongrel.


    ¡°So that it won¡¯t be a source of trouble, get rid of me cleanly. Isn¡¯t that your wish? Let me hear your praise.¡±


    Lovely dear.


    When I said such things while giggling, he swallowed something. When those tightly shut lips parted, there was no longer anything.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­ So that is your choice.¡±


    As Iughed in response, I was never anywhere. Like someone that parted with his past, he never looked back.


    .


    .


    .


    Stones flew.


    Curses flew.


    Justified condemnations were rampant.


    In the midst of that, in wooden shackles, I was walking down the road. I headed to my ce of judgement while hanging my head down, only raising my head when I reached there.


    Were there so many people in this town?


    I did have the opportunity to go out often, but when I went out shopping with parents sometimes it was an eerily quiet town. In retrospect, the townspeople were hiding to not earn unnecessary ire, to not get killed on whim.


    Unlike that cold town that reeked of death, a different heat was surging.


    Hatred towards me.


    .


    I was forced to kneel by a soldier. My loosened hair was pulled so that I would be facing forward.


    The people were yelling with great rage deep down from their throats. However, for me, everything was jumbled up and I could not hear well.


    ¡°My store was confiscated!¡±


    ¡°Kill!¡±


    ¡°We were disallowed from honest trade!¡±


    ¡°Kill!¡±


    ¡°Children starved to death!¡±


    ¡°Kill!¡±


    ¡°My husband who tried to tell the king was murdered!¡±


    ¡°Kill!¡±


    ¡°Return thends that were passed down for generations!¡±


    ¡°Kill!¡±


    ¡°Kill!¡±


    ¡°Kill!¡±


    ¡°Kill!¡±


    I could only hear that from here on.


    Many different crimes flooded out of the mouths of the people.


    I don¡¯t know if those are all my family¡¯s sins, or just misfortunes upon them.


    For starters, the hatter couple, your daughter that¡¯s not returning home eloped with a travelling painter.


    Even so, it¡¯s meaningless. Even if ten or twenty sins are added, nothing changes. I hadmitted so much sins.


    .


    I only moved my eyes and looked at the person sitting on a slightly elevated position. ck hair and golden eyes. The only things that did not change were the eyes, but not even a sheltered and stupid girl was not clueless enough to think that.


    The soft, kind light I loved was no longer there in those eyes. After my gaze met his, I opened my mouth.


    .


    ¡°Insolent fools!¡±


    .


    I had never shouted like this before, so I was worried if it woulde out well.


    However, my voice was not trembling, and I could speak better than I thought.


    ¡°How dare you lowly bugs even touch me! You must squeeze out money for me. It¡¯s an honour to be working for this beautiful and noble woman, but to be dissatisfied with that, how shameless! Who do you think let you live here! You brainless bugs live for the purpose of getting used by me! Now, kill this insolent fool and rescue me! The ugly woman there! Come here! I¡¯ll give you the honour of being my maid. The man there! Prepare a coach! Not the pitiful ones you use! Prepare the top-quality carriage father ordered from the artisan from the capital! Also, I¡¯m feeling peckish. Prepare a meal. I¡¯m sure you know it¡¯s not the pig feed you eat. Prepare a proper human¡¯s meal.¡±


    Stones, curses, hatred,


    Sticks, amazement, joy.


    ¡°Do it quickly! I am ordering you!¡±


    While many different objects flew, from the corner of my eyes, I could see him, the right hand of the new lord that the people truly wanting down.


    .


    .


    .


    Ending like this, you and me.


    That which never existed, you, and me.


    .


    .


    For the frozen heart to hurt the most, what a foolish woman.

 Chapter 2: Beginning for some reason, you and me.

    <h4>Chapter 2: Beginning for some reason, you and me.</h4>


    Like so, the previous ruling house, the foulest viins, ended.


    However, that sin was not forgiven.


    The ultimate punishment and the ultimate liberation known as death was not given to me. I was reborn with memories of getting beheaded.


    .


    I don¡¯t remember since when I had those memories. From when I could think, I knew that I was beheaded.


    I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s punishment, but I had no parents. There were many orphans around me, but I pondered inside the orphanage. In this ce full of orphans, am I orphan like them?From the point that I have memories of my previous life, I¡¯m different. If this was my punishment, my parents might not exist at all. It¡¯s not that I don¡¯t want to think that I was abandoned.


    If I did have parents, I can understand that I would be abandoned. However, did they really exist? Am I really born of woman?


    Would my sins be forgiven with just one death?


    Might I have been born from the rage and hatred of the people? I had such thoughts.


    .


    .


    I was a child that did not smile. I was a child that did not cry.


    It must have been disgusting. If I really did have parents, it¡¯s no wonder that they would abandon me in a roofless ce as rain fell.


    .


    Would it have been punishment for me to be born again in the fief that my family and I caused much grief to. I was abandoned here, so I might not have been born here, but in the end so I was raised in thisnd. I grew up getting soaked with curses towards the previous ruling house, to which the hatred did not fade out yet, along with praises to the current lord.


    .


    .


    As a result, I think it can¡¯t be helped that I became famous as a woman who had no speck of cuteness or sociability.


    However, please don¡¯t me me for not being able to anticipate that I woulde to work at the lord¡¯s ce from the connection of the orphanage director¡¯s little sister¡¯s daughter¡¯s three-blocks-away neighbour¡¯s teacher¡¯s older brother¡¯s grandson¡¯s neighbour¡¯s store regr¡¯s wife¡¯s parent¡¯s regr store¡¯s fellow regr¡¯s tea-drinkingpanion¡¯s little brother¡¯s colleague¡¯s crush¡¯s flower shop¡¯s passerbydy¡¯s husband¡¯s mother.


    I was just a normal stranger, and on top of that I wasn¡¯t even rted to any of them to begin with, yet how did it reach that? Everyone, you started minding other people¡¯s business. I see that there¡¯s leisure in your life and in your hearts. Long live the current lord.


    However, it¡¯s a little too much, so I would be happy if you held back a little.


    .


    In the mirror, there was a woman withered away like a dead tree, with clouded and creepy eyes, truly a horrific sight.


    For a blossoming fifteen-year-old maiden to be like this, howughable.


    I had a funny experience, but my mouth in the mirror did not twitch a bit.


    Rebuilt after having burned down, the new lord¡¯s house is nothing like the previous.


    If the previous one looked like a pce, this one looked like a box. It was one that could make one think that forts are more pleasing to look at.


    The garden where I nted flowers together with mother was turned into a training ground for soldiers, and the fountain I watched while riding on father¡¯s shoulders was turned into a horse trough. The chair where I sat on grandfather¡¯sp as he read picture books to me, the shade where I learned to sewces with grandmother, they were no longer there. There was just a stump.


    However, when I first visited, I could not feel even the most minute stab of pain. Everything was over already.


    We were resented. We were punished in the name of loathing and justice. That was right. Justice was with you. We were just evil itself.


    .


    Many times, I told myself that I won¡¯t stand out.


    I won¡¯t enjoy anything. I won¡¯t wish for anything. I won¡¯t make any friends. I am only here because the orphanage director told me with teary eyes to wait at least until I am sixteen. I¡¯ll be a nun the next year and spend the rest of my life as one.


    That is the duty of thest of the ruling house that drained thend and drove people to death.


    .


    .


    .


    But how did it turn out like this.


    I looked at the man hiding in the shade with me and sighed slightly.


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    .


    ck hair and golden eyes. When I heard that he was turning thirty next year, I could only think, ¡®See?¡¯ Even his age is different. What do you mean sixteen, a year younger. Even though he pretended to be disappointed at his short height, if he was fourteen then it was a normal height.


    I was being toyed around not by a boy a year younger than me but by a boy three years younger than me.


    I am the epitome of stupidity.


    .


    .


    Around the bush we were hiding at, a butler and a maid encountered each other.


    ¡°Might you have any idea where master may be?¡±


    ¡°Master? No, he wasn¡¯t here. Hey, have you seen Shirley?¡±


    ¡°Shirley?¡±


    If it¡¯s the lord, he¡¯s right here, I answered in my mind. However, if I say it out loud, I would get caught too so I observed silently.


    The shrewd butler raised an eyebrow.


    ¡°Who¡¯s that?¡±


    ¡°The girl that was assigned recently. The thin girl with brown hair.¡±


    ¡°Ah, that creepy¡­¡­ pu!¡±


    The rag that was in the maid¡¯s hand was thrown at the butler¡¯s face.


    ¡°What are you doing!?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s just pale because she doesn¡¯t sleep well, and she¡¯s just thin because she doesn¡¯t eat much, not eating snacks too!¡±


    ¡°I acknowledge that I spoke improperly, so don¡¯t throw rags at me!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s used!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s even worse!¡±


    ¡°I cleaned dust while chasing after Shirley so it should be full of dust!¡±


    ¡°Wash it! But why were you chasing after her anyway!? Is the new girl cking around!?¡±


    ¡°Rude! Shirley is so perfect that you won¡¯t believe that¡¯s she¡¯s being a maid for the first time! With that wlessness, she finishes work quickly and doesn¡¯t participate in recess tea, so I was searching for her! She didn¡¯t eat enough breakfast either!¡±


    The two went away while barking at each other. Even as they fought, they kept searching. They¡¯re a superb pair of a butler and a maid. However, if possible, I¡¯d like them use that excellence somewhere else¡­¡­ someone else.


    The girl I¡¯m living with, Jasmine, worries for me about many things as she¡¯s around my age, but since I¡¯ll disappear in a year so I¡¯d like her to leave me alone.


    While thinking about such things, I confirmed that the voice of the two disappeared and took five¡­¡­ six, seven steps away and bowed my head.


    Of course, the person I am bowing to is the first that was sitting along with me.


    ¡°Please excuse me.¡±


    ck hair, golden eyes, and sharp face like a wolf¡¯s. The height that hemented about so much grew a lot, and the body that was ridiculed as a girl¡¯s grew bulky as if to say such past did not exist, and the wless white child¡¯s skin earned the shade of a grown man. The current lord of Laius fiefdom, Kaid Falua.


    Improved the living conditions of the people who was devastated by the previous lord¡¯s misrule and eradicating corruption, the adept young lord turned thend into one with the best economy and security in the country in the time span of just fifteen years.


    He¡¯s the man who recently became my master. I have noints about being a maid, but serving him¡­¡­ It¡¯s hard to swallow.


    .


    .


    .


    Kaid sat down and stared at me, who took two more steps away and was now standing at nine steps away. It¡¯s an unthinkable etiquette for a lord, but the man that did not seem like a lord is a wise man that appears maybe once a century, and father who taught me etiquette was the worst and the most evil lord, so etiquette might not matter.


    ¡°I thought that I didn¡¯t recognise you, so you¡¯re ¡®Shirley Hince¡¯?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Yes. I moved in the other day and stared working in this mansion.¡±


    He remembered my full name.


    I was thinking of slipping away like this, but think that he does not only differentiate the new maids and the veteran maids, but also knows the name of the neer, what a respectable lord. You are the consummate role model of a lord.


    Though that doesn¡¯t help me a bit.


    ¡°Thank you, master. I am sincerely happy that I can work at such a magnificent mansion though I was just an orphan.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s good¡­¡­ However, did my policy fail?¡±


    ¡°Excuse me?¡±


    I was thinking of leaving after thanking him, but he said something strange so I ended up blurting out.


    Kaid stared at me, scanning up and down with a piercing gaze.


    ¡°You, you said that you were at an orphanage until recently, yes?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°You look so frail. Was it an environment where there was not enough food?¡±


    Hands and feet like sticks, wiry hair, cracked lips. A creepy girl who only her dry eyes stand out.


    After remembering how I looked in the mirror today, I hastily corrected him.


    ¡°No, that¡¯s not true. Indeed, I was at a small orphanage in a remote region, but not only did I not stave, there was enough firewood and nkets for everyone in the winter. I lead afortable life.¡±


    Not only was the official kind, but the vigers, and of course the orphanage director made sure of such things. Everyone could go to school without starving or trembling in the cold. There was enough so that even orphans could livefortably.


    Stories of distributed goods or funds ending up in some official¡¯s pockets are relics of when father was the lord.


    I can¡¯t allow people who were kind to me to be mistaken just because I am thin.


    ¡°Then, why are you so thin. I must hear.¡±


    It¡¯s just one maid, it¡¯d be better if he ignored it. I clicked my tongue in my head.


    Before, I was a child that didn¡¯t know anything, so I didn¡¯t know what clicking the tongue meant, but in this life I learned that it¡¯s done in disparagement.


    I sighed and grabbed my index finger and my middle finger. It felt as though Kaid¡¯s eyes widened somewhat.


    .


    ¡°That is because I have memories of a previous life.¡±


    .


    This time for sure, unlike those golden eyes that opened wide, my eyes must be dark and clouded.

 Chapter 3: Your candy and me.

    <h4>Chapter 3: Your candy and me.</h4>


    ¡°In my previous life, I havemitted a grave sin. I did get punished, but that was not enough. Thus, I was reincarnated with memories of my past life. I must receive retribution. God has decreed it that it is not enough with just one life. I will end my as Our Father wills it. That is God¡¯s will. It is my duty. Only after my redemption, I will be able to go back to Our Father. Until then, I must continue to repent. If I do not, I cannot return to Our Father in Heaven.¡±


    .


    I didn¡¯t lie. I just used God¡¯s will that I did not actually hear, to put up a facade that I wish to return to Him, though I don¡¯t think that way.


    I told him the truth that was slightly dramatised and waited for the moment that his wide-open golden eyes change colour.


    .


    .


    .


    There were many kind people.


    There were plenty of good people.


    Everyone worried for me who did not eat properly, and reached out for me who was always wearing patched clothes.


    Every time that happened, I told that story. I witnessed so many times how the kindhearted people¡¯s eyes change into a shade of horror, taking steps backwards as their expressions became strained.


    I told the story to see that.


    It¡¯s catching two birds with one stone, as I do not have to lie,mitting more sins, and get left alone.


    I was seen as a fanatic. I was seen as a madwoman. I was seen as a pitiful liar girl.


    Anyway, no one believed me. They did not believe me, but they left me.


    Yes. I am insane. I¡¯m strange in the head, I¡¯m creepy and depressing, and I¡¯m a miserable girl. I of course do not have family, friends, lovers nor acquaintances.


    I don¡¯t need them.


    .


    So please leave me alone.


    .


    .


    When I told that truth, in front me, Kaid ced his long fingers on his chin and narrowed his eyes.


    Those eyes felt as if they were confirming something, so it felt somewhat disturbing.


    If they were slightly sharper, it would really fit his nickname, ¡®the Wolf¡¯.


    It¡¯s amazing how he made those somewhat frail yet kind eyes back then, considering that those eyes are as sharp as fangs.


    .


    Not forgiving criminals, that is the same as the previous lord. However, he is admired. Because a criminal convicted not because one went against the lord but because one broke the just and ethicalw.


    The sycophants to the previous lord were gathered for a meeting on that day, where they were all caught and punished.


    There were those who did not attend the meeting or those who barely escaped, but they were all caught in the end. No matter how thick the surrounding was, he would edge in and bite that neck. There was no mercy in that. Many were punished and banished, that theposition of nobles of Laius changed greatly. It can be said that many who were reced in grandfather and father¡¯s generations came back.


    Laius, which was destroyed by grandfather and father, are being fixed by Kaid, who destroyed us. He was reiming the bountiful Laius.


    He is a splendid man. Wise, bold and handsome. He is a charismatic man blessed by God.


    A man that could not have liked an airhead, dreaming woman that did not try to see the reality.


    It would be nice if he ends me himself with those fangs.


    .


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    .


    .


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    I had my hands gathered together and had my back straight, waiting for that golden shade to distort into an ugly one.


    However, that moment did note. Rather, he leaned in closer, out of interest. Please don¡¯t get closer.


    ¡°Now, that is an abrupt and unbelievable story.¡±


    ¡°Of course. It¡¯s probably jus that there¡¯s something wrong with my head.¡±


    Even though I know that it¡¯s rude to this as a servant, I cut off the conversation to end the story. If he fires me out of rage, then that is fine. I¡¯m only sorry that the orphanage director¡¯s little sister¡¯s¡­¡­ I forgot, but anyway, I only feel sorry that they might get caught up in that. However, if they get disgusted at me because of that and leave me alone, then there¡¯s nothing I¡¯d like better.


    When I was about to make a final bow, there were golden eyes in my sight.


    Because I was stared at from below, I unconsciously took a step back. Standing up as if to chase after me, he grabbed my elbow with his long fingers. Seeing that his hand wrapped around my whole elbow, he frowned.


    .


    ¡°However, when living in this ce, it¡¯s easy to tell if someone¡¯s lying.¡±


    .


    He took his hand off my elbow and tapped my fingers with his.


    ¡°You¡¯re too frail. I won¡¯t let my subjects starve to death.¡±


    ¡°I will enter a monastery next year, so I have no ns to die.¡±


    Unless I get executed, I added inside my head.


    Seeing Kaid look from above as if to listen closely to that statement, I took another step back.


    ¡°This is more troublesome that what the rumours suggested. It¡¯s even more amazing that it doesn¡¯t seem like you¡¯re lying.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine if you don¡¯t like madwoman, so please kick me out of the mansion.¡±


    ¡°Insane people are insane because they don¡¯t know that. Now then, why don¡¯t we change your workce?¡±


    ¡°Ha?¡±


    Feeling cornered, I took another step back.


    There was something behind me, so I could move anymore. When I flinched and checked it, it was just a tree. The tall tree must be older than me.


    Objects of my memories are no longer there, but things I do not remember are still here. It was so unreasonable that Iughed, despite the situation.


    ¡°Shirley Hince, from now on, you are not a maid of the mansion but my direct maid.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Pardon?¡±


    I didn¡¯t understand what he meant, so I ended up asking back.


    While grabbing my arm, Kaid started walking. Even if I resist, I could be easily caught.


    .


    .


    .


    ¡°Samua!¡±


    From his clear voice, Samua and Jasmine who were still nearby ran back here. Then, seeing me getting dragged by the arm, their eyes widened.


    ¡°What, Shirley! You were there!?¡±


    ¡°Erm, master. Did that person show disrespect? I apologise, sir! She¡¯s still very new, so she does not know the house very well. I¡¯ll teach her properly, so please overlook it this time. I¡¯ll receive the punishment, sir!¡±


    Bending hip and back at a right angle that was neither graceful nor beautiful. Would this be how athletic people are, I felt slight interest, but more than that I felt great surprise.


    Really, he did not have to apologise in my ce, nor does he have to receive punishment instead of me. Jasmine, who was next to him, was bowing too, so it was even more troubling.


    It was such a situation, but I, the person in question, thought of somethingpletely different.


    He really has good people around him. It must be benevolence. My father had been kind to us, his family, but towards the maids and butlers he looked at them as though he was looking at livestock. Even though there were that many people passing by, that is.


    He did not have virtue, I thought. Not just virtue, he did not have something he held precious as a person. Thus, only people like him flocked to him.


    Even then, there was nothing. Thus, the end was inevitable.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    Seeing the two bow at the same angle, Kaid smiled wryly. Ah, it¡¯s an expression I¡¯m seeing for the first time.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re misunderstanding, but there is something that she did wrong, it¡¯s that she¡¯s too thin. Now, Jasmine, what did she have for breakfast?¡±


    ¡°Eh, ah, yes, a piece of bread and a cup¡­¡­ no, half a cup? of soup.¡±


    ¡°To not feed even a single piece of meat to a servant¡­¡­ I¡¯m stillcklustre as a lord. Jasmine, take her to the head maid and please tell her that I apologise. Tell her that I¡¯m sorry for taking one of her girls away. If it helps, hire more. Samua, tell the same thing to the head butler.¡±


    Isn¡¯t he the one going mad? One might have thought. However, as for the attitude of the two servants:


    ¡°Aah, I see. Again? Alright, I¡¯ll convey that, sir.¡±


    ¡°Shirley, what a relief!¡±


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­What just happened?


    My my, it¡¯s the usual. While saying that, the two of them started walking away, saying, ¡°Then, we will do that.¡±


    Wait a bit. Exin at least a little.


    ¡°Ah¡­¡­ P-Please wait, Jasmine-san!¡±


    When I desperately called for Jasmine as my arm was held by Kaid, she turned her round with so much force that it felt as though her hairpins would fly out. Then, she pushed Samua aside and ran up to me with great vigour, after which she grabbed my free hand with both hands and smiled.


    ¡°No way!¡±


    And then this ¡°no way¡±. What am I supposed to say to this person full of smiles?


    Jasmine shook my hand and jumped up and down while still saying ¡°no way no way¡±.


    ¡°Samua, did you say that!? Shirley called my name for the first time!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­You, even though you live together, you didn¡¯t even call her n-blegh!¡±


    The cloth flew into his face again.


    Having thrown the cloth at Samua¡¯s face, Jasmine smiled happily like a child that just had candy.


    ¡°You see, Shirley, serving master is the best position!¡±


    ¡°Pardon?¡±


    ¡°Well, you can have as much sweets as you want, as much snacks as you want, as much food as you want, and when he brings you when he goes out you can have unlimited food from the stalls! Also-also-also! You can even have the same thing that master has for breakfast, lunch and dinner!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll resig-.¡±


    ¡°If it was someone else, there would be bloodbath from jealousy, but if it¡¯s you, Shirley, everyone would be happy! You really are too thin!¡±


    I wasn¡¯t allowed to finished the sentence. Plus, it¡¯s not beneficial at all, and what should I do about the story that suddenly turned scary.


    Troubled, I pondered a little. Then, I reached the conclusion that I¡¯d like my arms released.


    I quietly looked up at Kaid who was still discussing something with Samua.


    Before, when he was worrying about his short height, I took care to wear low heels and not have hairstyles that gather up.


    Seeing him with such a bulky physique now, it was almost unbelievable that such a thing happened. I wasn¡¯t doing anything, but he suddenly turned around, that his golden eyes met mind.


    To me who blinked unconsciously, he smiled.


    A little, only a little, it felt like there was Helt there, that blood drained from my face.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    ¡°For now, I only have these on my person. Which vour would you like?¡±


    When his hand, which was in his pocket, slowly opened to reveal candies in cute wrappings, blood flowed back to my face.


    I blinked once at those things that did not fit the lord¡¯s nickname, ¡®the Wolf¡¯, and politely refused. However, while I wasining, a candy was ced in my mouth without my permission. Unable to spit it out as that would be rude, I could only stare at him reproachfully.


    Even though he received such a gaze, heughed in a carefree manner.


    .


    .


    I can¡¯t remember when thest time I had something sweet was.


    The sweet vour I tasted after a long time was strawberry vour.

 Chapter 4: The past days, of you and me.

    <h4>Chapter 4: The past days, of you and me.</h4>


    I was soon turning 17, yet I was not allowed outside very much, like when I was little.


    However, the mansion wasrge and thend surrounding it was nearly endless to walk through. There was a ce like a forest with a stream inside thend, so I did not have muchints.


    Because it was only after everything ended that I learned how small and closed my world was.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    I hurried. The ss endedter than expected, so it was already past the appointment time. I did not have anything scheduled until the dance sster, but since there¡¯s no knowing when he will have to return to work, we do not have much time to spend together.


    Without minding my dress hems getting soiled, I ran through the gravel road. Though it was a low one, it was hard to run with heels. I would rather run barefoot, but when I did that before I was scolded harshly by him. Since I promised that I will not do it again, I cannot do that. Back then, he treated my slightly bruised feet.


    As he did that, there was no trace of his usual shy smile, but a force that made me unable to make up excuses, that I could only apologise.


    .


    There was no one at the birch tree we arranged to meet at. I dropped my shoulders that were rising and falling with heavy panting.


    He has work, so he has to go as soon as he is called. It¡¯s my fault for beingte.


    While brushing my now-dishevelled hair back, I gathered my breath. I wonder if he will return if I wait. Or, will it take all the time until I am forced to return?


    I pondered a little. I will wait even if it¡¯s useless. It¡¯s a rare period of time where the two of us can meet. There is no way we will give it up.


    To spread open my handkerchief on the usual rock, I turned my back to the birch tree. Behind me, a cracking sound of twigs snapping echoed.


    .


    .


    ¡°Ah!¡±


    ¡°Kyaaa!¡±


    It merelynded on my back gently, but I was extremely startled. Freed from my grasp, the handkerchief fluttered away. He grabbed it easily. He sometimes can be surprisingly agile.


    However, I did not have room for surprise. I was already too shocked.


    Though my heart always pounds when I am with him, this time I turned around as my heart pounded in a different sense.


    ¡°Helt, you!¡±


    While desperately calming my heart that still pounded, I puffed out my cheeks. Helt handed the handkerchief to me andughed.


    ¡°You surprised me!¡±


    ¡°Then it¡¯s a sess. It¡¯s revenge for mydyingte.¡±


    Seeing him smile so happily from his trick working, my mood softened. For his cute smile, I forgave him while smiling wryly.


    Because, it was him forgiving me in his own way, by trying to not make me worry aboutingte. When he camete, I made him wear a gand of flowers I made in the meanwhile. The way he looked dejected as he said that he was a man was so cute, so the punishment for his tardiness in the season of flowers was for him wear a gand of flowers.


    .


    .


    .


    Sitting in the shade, the two of us chatted about nothing. While holding his hand, I gently rubbed my shoulder against his. My heart pounded so much, but I could not lean against his shoulder like they do in novels.


    When I nced at him, his neck was bright red, but I was the same so I could notugh. We did notugh, but it was embarrassing, so the both of tried our hardest to keep a straight face or frown.


    Since I did not want to show a strange expression, I desperately continued chatting to not show my red face.


    ¡°Hey, Helt, tell me about your homnd.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s boring though?¡±


    ¡°Today, I studied about the northernnds. Since it was your homnd, I got excited even though it was a ss that I usually could not help but doze¡­¡­ The teacher noticed that I was energised, so the ss ended up finishingte though.¡±


    He smiled wryly.


    Then, he told me once again that it¡¯s a boring story.


    .


    .


    ¡°Even though it¡¯s the same Laius fiefdom, it¡¯s an iparably barrenndpared to here. The Darrich fiefdom, our neighbour has been eyeing ournds to expand theirnds, but even they do not want thatnd. Since such a ce is at the border, even if there is a conflict with Darrich and Gimii, Laius is not affected much.¡±


    ¡°I heard about that.¡±


    ¡°Well, it¡¯s a frozennd, so there is not muchnd that can be used for farming, and even the period for sowing is short.¡±


    There was a feeling of yearning and a loveliness as he talked about his homnd and then closed his eyes as he got lost in thought.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Helt?¡±


    The golden eyes that opened again looked at me in a shade that I never saw before.


    ¡°Children, adults and even livestock¡­¡­ hunger is painful. Both for those suffering and for those watching.¡±


    ¡°Well, that is¡­¡­ if thend is poor, I wonder if it is useless to use fertilisers¡­¡­ Like people, would it be useless if there is too much? If you ask father, I am sure he can prepare some.¡±


    It would have been nice to learn how to enrich thends instead of how to dance.


    Seeing him get depressed, I felt sad too. However, he grabbed my hands and leaned his forehead against mine. Surprised, I ended up closing my eyes. From his warmth, I could sense the smell of dirt, horses and iron.


    ¡°Mydy, you don¡¯t have to make such an expression. It¡¯s alright. It¡¯s not as though we are not doing anything. Everyone is trying their best to live well. So it¡¯s alright. So, mydy, can you keep the story of my homnd a secret? I¡¯ll be ridiculed by everyone foring from the sticks.¡±


    ¡°Is that so, I am sorry¡­¡­ However, I do not think such a thing will happen. Helt, you are loved by everyone. Where youe from is not important.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s only you, mydy, who says that. You are a kind person, raised preciously here.¡±


    ¡°I still think it should be alright¡­¡­ did you just call me sheltered again?¡±


    ¡°Y-You could tell?¡±


    ¡°Helt!¡±


    As I shook his hand off from annoyance, heughed loudly.


    The way his tied up hair swayed in the air like a horse¡¯s tail was cute, so I ended upughing too in spite of myself.


    I threw away some grass that I uprooted meaninglessly and reconciled with him.


    .


    .


    The wind blew between the trees and lifted up the leaves. Flying past the high fences, the two of us aw off the leaves whose destinations were unknown.


    There was some dirt stuck to Helt¡¯s sleeves. When I scraped some off with my fingernails, he panicked and hid them away. He told that he will do it himself, but I think his nails are too short for that.


    ¡°Come on, Helt.¡±


    ¡°No, your pretty fingers will be dirtied, mydy.¡±


    ¡°You can easily wash away dirt. And, that¡¯s not it.¡±


    ¡°Pardon?¡±


    ¡°Erm, well¡­¡­ I do think that it will be tough, since my father does not like me going out very much, so I do not know when it will be, but¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Mydy?¡±


    I grabbed my index finger and middle finger and closed my mouth, so he looked at me worriedly. Consoled by the golden light that was clearer and warmer than the sun, I lifted my face up.


    ¡°I want to visit Helt¡¯s homnd.¡±


    ¡°Mydy.¡±


    I loved how the golden light danced, so I ended up staring into it.


    ¡°¡­¡­It¡¯s far away.¡±


    ¡°Then I can talk a lot with you on the way there.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s cold there.¡±


    ¡°Then I have a reason to buy a new coat.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s only one shop selling goods from vegetables to headdresses. The only scenery is the mountains and the rocks. There¡¯s nothing to be seen there.¡±


    ¡°I want to see the tree that you climbed, and climb it myself. Will you help me?¡±


    I heard that there is a big tree. I heard that he would sneak into the grotto, or sit on the watch the scenery while sitting on one of those thick branches. I heard that the fish swimming in the stream shined like stars.


    ¡°I always wished to see thend that you grew up in. Will you take me there sometime?¡±


    Whenever he talked about his homnd, he looked younger and it showed how precious thend was to him. Every time he talked about it, my admiration for thend that raised him grew.


    Someday, someday I want to go there.


    To the northernnd that is precious to him, with him.


    .


    .


    When I stared at him silently, he opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it again.


    Then, he smiled softly.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go sometime.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I can take you there.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so happy!¡±


    To my overflowing smile, he gave me a soft, tender touch of a kiss.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    .


    .


    Subdued sunbeams peeked through the trees as the soft wind brushed my hair.


    I woke up from the soft rustling of clothes. At the bed next to mine, Jasmine was tossing and turning.


    For a moment, I couldn¡¯t tell where I was.


    When I looked at the ce to my side, it seemed that she was moving a little too much as the nket had fallen down. I walked over barefoot and lifted up the nket. It did notpare to what I had been using back then, but this too was a clean and nice sheet.


    Everyone says that this is a good age. I think so too. There¡¯s leisure in life from work, and everyone was filled with happiness from paying just taxes and protecting their lives.


    ¡°Mm¡­¡­¡±


    Jasmine¡¯s hands wandered around for the nket in her sleep. To not wake her, I gently ced it on her. The hands grabbed the edge and happily fell back to sleep.


    After checking that she did not wake, I quietly trod back to my bed and let my weight fall on the small creaking bed.


    It was a warm dream, yet cold sweat flowed at my back and the chills did not disappear.


    With a deep sigh, I covered my face.


    ¡°Liar.¡±


    The quiet muttering was not heard by anyone and melted into the silently fading night.

 Chapter 5: The workplace of you and me.

    <h4>Chapter 5: The workce of you and me.</h4>


    After having breakfast while being pestered by Jasmine that I wasn¡¯t having enough, I started moving to my new workce although I wasn¡¯t even used to my original workce.


    I was originally employed as a maid for the lord¡¯s mansion.


    However, there are two kinds of maids here.


    One are the maids assigned to the house.


    The other are the maids assigned to the lord¡¯s offices, the ce I am headed to.


    .


    .


    .


    Unlike the mansion where there were many young people, there were more older people here. The servants I ran across were mostly in their thirties and forties, and there were barely any people under twenty.


    Though we are now in a time of peace, Kaid became a lord through revolution. I heard that there were quite a lot of assaults from remnant forces.


    Therefore, the people here are only people that can be trusted, or so the maid in her thirties who was guiding me exined to me. People from back then remained here, so the age bracket is high. It¡¯s same with the butlers.


    Of course, all the people are hired after strict examination, but even then this ce is special.


    There¡¯s also that he¡¯s busy, but Kaid even sleeps here.


    .


    .


    I was being told to not make any suspicious movements since it¡¯s that kind of ce, but my head could only hear half. I knew I shouldn¡¯t, but my sight wandered to people passing by.


    I felt a sense of d¨¦j¨¤ vu. It¡¯s not because of the ce. There¡¯s no more trace of my family home here. That¡¯s natural, since it all burned down that day.


    Then, why am I feeling this d¨¦j¨¤ vu.


    The way my eyes wandered around to servants passing by seemed to look as though I was fascinated at a ce I never saw before, that the woman made a bitter smile.


    ¡°The word of the lord was that it should be practical since it¡¯s an office, but it indeed must be surprising to see at first. To think a day when we would ask for a room to show off be made came, I often chat about that with the butlers.¡±


    Durable objects rather than fine ones. Since there aren¡¯t decorations, it can be thicker. As if to say that, the building was tough. The window frames were iron, and the gap was narrow that even if the ss was broken it would be impossible to get in without removing the whole frame. The things that can be seen on the iron bars must be there out of necessity. It¡¯s in the same grounds, but it¡¯s very different from the mansion over there. That was rather nd, butpared to this that was luxurious¡­¡­ or rather, yful. That building was at at an out-of-the-way location, while this building was shown to people. If I¡¯m going to the other side, I¡¯m going to do it after I destroy this ce, I felt.


    But it¡¯s strong, I though as I narrowed my eyes at the mansion that was like a fort. I silently stared at a man in histe thirties that passed by behind. However, I can¡¯t be sure. Because I was not a good master like Kaid.


    .


    .


    .


    ¡°You¡¯ll get used to it soon. So, it¡¯s your first time meeting the head maid, yes?¡±


    ¡°No, I met her the day I was hired.¡±


    ¡°My, really.¡±


    ¡°Yes, Hilda-san.¡±


    She was a slightly plump and kinddy with a soft smile. Mid-twenties, maybe. She didn¡¯t scold me for not smiling a bit, but said, ¡°If you¡¯re greeting a guest, you can just bow and hide that you¡¯re not smiling,¡± even touching me how to get past things without smiling.


    When I told her that I met Hilda-san before, without describing the above, she let out an ¡°Oh my.¡±


    ¡°Sorry, it¡¯s different. Hilda was a temporary head maid.¡±


    ¡°Substitute.¡±


    ¡°Right, the head maid was on a short break¡­¡­ aah, good timing. She¡¯s over there.¡±


    The man I was staring at stopped and was talking with someone. They were looking back and forth between sheets of paper and each other, checking something and jotting things down.


    Facing this way, the man noticed us. He said something to the woman in front of him who had her back to her. The woman folded the sheet of paper and turned around to us.


    The woman in her mid-thirties opened her mouth in an ¡°Ah,¡± after seeing us.


    ¡°Thank you, Dahlia. So she is Shirley Hince. I heard the story.¡±


    The woman who held her hand out with a smile on her slightly freckled face was,


    .


    ¡°Caron¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Eh?¡±


    .


    Caron who put on slightly thick makeup because she was bothered by her freckles.


    Caron who was slightly clumsy but yful and amiable.


    Caron who cried that her parents did not acknowledge her lover and forcefully decided on a fianc¨¦.


    Caron who bowed and asked us stay healthy when she left.


    Caron, the only daughter of the hatter couple.


    My maid, Carolina¡­¡­


    .


    .


    Seeing Caron tilt her head after I murmured that, I hurried bowed. The man that was just as puzzled was a temporary butler. I remebered.


    The servants changed so many times. They were scolded and fired for petty things, I heard in this life.


    I didn¡¯t remember new people¡¯s names like Kaid. Rather, I couldn¡¯t even remember people who served for long times. I thought that should be the case for people who changed in a blink.


    It must have been frightening. I must have been terrifying.


    I thought so after hearing the horrors of the mansion in this life.


    One mistake might cost their lives and even their family. In that hell, they were working hard.


    It was always somewhat dark and grim. Even so, the maid Caron always shed an energetic smile to me. I wished for her happiness with that thin and seemingly unreliable but elegant painter.


    Unlike the people that kept their distance from me, the bright and kind Caron cared for me and told me many stories.


    I thought of her as a friend. I never confirmed it though, and it might just have been an extension of work for her. Still, I really liked her.


    .


    So she was back.


    Then, I could finally grasp why I felt a this d¨¦j¨¤ vu. I wasn¡¯t just feeling it that there were people I saw before.


    They all aged after fifteen years, but their appearance remained. They were all people who used to work at the mansion. Of course, there were quite a lot of people I didn¡¯t know. Maybe there were servants at other ces I didn¡¯t know.


    .


    .


    ¡°Carolina, is it someone you know?¡±


    ¡°No¡­¡­ Sorry, have I met you before?¡±


    The man was not wearing a butler¡¯s suit. Thus, he is not a butler right now. Still, he haddocuments in his hand, so he must be helping the new lord Kaid in another way.


    They looked a little haggard maybe from the work, but everyone¡¯s eyes were different.


    As for Caron, it looked like she attained a calm state, but everyone else had strength in their eyes.


    It felt as though they were not the people that cowered that they may be destroyed from mother or grandmother¡¯s whims.


    Ah, these are good times.


    .


    The white mansion that was like a pce.


    And the building that looked iparably tough, like a fort.


    .


    Even then, it was better that our heaven. Our paradise was Laius¡¯s nightmare.


    Just from seeing the faces of people working, I can tell. Now it became a ce where people can lead proper lives as people.


    .


    .


    ¡°¡­¡­You reminded me of someone. Please excuse me.¡±


    ¡°My, really? Fufu, how strange. I also used to be called Caron.¡±


    Yes, I called you that.


    Your smile was lovely, so I wanted to call you with a cute nickname that was like a ringing of the bells.


    ¡°Erm¡­¡­ I heard that you were on a break, is you body¡­¡­?¡±


    ¡°Ah, no, no. There was a bit of family trouble, so I had a short break. Thank you for worrying about me, I¡¯m fine.¡±


    ¡°Your husband¡¯s family?¡±


    ¡°Yes, he¡¯s travelling to many ces as a painter, so it¡¯s quite troublesome trying to contact him¡­¡­ Ahh, anyway, it¡¯s been a long time since I heard ¡®Caron¡¯. I¡¯m envious of the person you know. I loved that sound.¡±


    Caron smiled in nostalgia. The makeup that was less thick now suited her very well.


    So you liked that nickname too. Then, I¡¯m happy. For saying that you were happy, hearing that truth makes me so happy. And, I couldn¡¯t be happier, seeing you living happily.


    It¡¯s nice that the people here did not end up unhappy. That kind man must still be with Caron, making her happy.


    It was sad to see you go. However, it was good that you left.


    It¡¯s a great relief that I didn¡¯t have to show you my end to you.


    .


    .


    There was someone surrounded by a few men approaching with quick steps.


    Tall, his hair ck as the night fluttering, watching the world with those golden eyes shinier than the sun.


    We went to the end of the corridor and bowed.


    The others all finished greeting him. Caron urged me with her eyes, so I greeted him.


    ¡°Good morning to you, master.¡±


    ¡°Ah, hello¡­¡­ you have dark circles under your eyes. Did you not sleep well? Should the pillow be changed?¡±


    ¡°No, I did sleep well.¡±


    These are good times. It¡¯s a good ce now.


    Kaid in front of me was proof of that.


    .


    Kaid gave out orders and documents to the men around him and turned around.


    ¡°Carolina, it may be sudden, but I need you at work.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Still, you could have rxed a little more without returning so quickly. Didn¡¯t you work on a strict schedule?¡±


    ¡°However, I ended up causing a lot of trouble by suddenly taking a break. It will get busier, so I can¡¯t have any more breaks.¡±


    ¡°Well, it will get busy. However, don¡¯t strain yourself. It¡¯s different from before, nothing good wille if you ruin your body.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to hear it from you, master, but are you implying that I¡¯m old?¡±


    In reaction to Caron who took a step forth, Kaid took two steps back in panic.


    ¡°No, no no, that¡¯s not what I mean. I wouldn¡¯t say something so rude to a woman.¡±


    ¡°With all due respect, there¡¯s only three years of age difference between you and me. If I¡¯m old, then you¡¯re old too!¡±


    ¡°Sorry!¡±


    Caron smiled kindly to me, saying, ¡°Work hard,¡± and bowed gracefully before leaving with Dahlia. The remaining men stared at Kaid withpassion. They were full ofpassion, but no one tried to help him. They all slightly avoided Kaid¡¯s gaze that seemed to be pleading for help.


    ¡°¡­¡­I just wanted to say that we shouldn¡¯t be running the ce with barely enough people like the old days.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Yes, sir.¡±


    After hearing Kaid¡¯s murmur, the men patted his shoulder.


    .


    .


    These, are, good¡­¡­ times.

 Chapter 6: The toast of you and me.

    <h4>Chapter 6: The toast of you and me.</h4>


    There were many people entering and exiting the lord¡¯s room. That felt fresh for some reason.


    One after another, people passed and there wasn¡¯t any time for them to greet each other. They had documents, and after they finished checking something more people came in. There weren¡¯t many people during the days of father. Also, since the meetings were all scheduled, who and when they came were being properly managed.


    Everyone was used to it, so they went straight to the point without greeting the lord properly. I guess they¡¯re familiar faces. Kaid processed the flood of issues in session. Sometimes, he would stand in front of the huge bookcase and fetch some books and then discuss the issue with the person who brought it.


    The morning was spent like that and it became noon in a blink.


    Somehow, a little past lunch, we could get a short break.


    Kaid had been signing and drawing shes on documents some hundred times.


    As he leaned back against the chair, I served him tea.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    He made a carefree thanks and drank it, so I ended up frowning.


    What if I had put in poison?


    They probably make strict inspections before hiring people, but it¡¯s still careless. He shouldn¡¯t be having something from someone that hadn¡¯t been hired for long. Rather, I shouldn¡¯t even be the maid of this building to begin with.


    Even if I didn¡¯t do it, if there¡¯s poison in the tea I brewed I¡¯ll be caught. I don¡¯t want to be framed and executed, and if Kaid¡¯s not here anymore, everyone will be troubled.


    ¡°Do you want to say that I am too careless?¡±


    Noticing my gaze, Kaid shook the empty cup at me.


    ¡°When I didn¡¯t have anything to eat, I ate even leather soles and sometimes even slightly toxic nts to substitute food. It¡¯s better if I try it than if people without resistance have it. So I won¡¯t die from a little poison. I recall getting scolded, ¡®Why won¡¯t you die!¡¯ from a spy. I almost died from eating a worse mushroom than that, he should mixed that in.¡±


    Kaid coolly said something absurd. I gulped and gripped my index finger and middle finger.


    It¡¯s a poornd already, but when there are heavy taxes, thend bes impoverished beyond prepare. They end up having to eat the seedlings for nting next spring and have to dig up the roots of their fruit trees to survive from starving to death. The trees wilt and the untillednd bes harder, and thend be even poorer.


    I can¡¯t imagine how it would have been during the two years he¡¯s been with me. He wouldn¡¯t cross such a dangerous bridge while he was infiltrated.


    That¡¯s in the past. It¡¯s when he was fourteen. No¡­¡­ it¡¯s two years before that, so it¡¯s when he was twelve.


    .


    .


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­When,¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡±


    Kaid who was narrowing his eyes at something raised his head at my voice.


    ¡°When had you been close to death?¡±


    ¡°Even if you ask when¡­¡­ it¡¯s not once or twice¡­¡­¡­¡­ The first time was when I was six? There was an epidemic so there were not many workers avable, but there was an increase in taxation. Having to face winter without enough food, I almost didn¡¯t make it. However, thanks to that I ate a mushroom that was thought to be inedible. It¡¯s only the stalk that can¡¯t be eaten. The cap was harmless. We managed to survive that winter with that, so it ended alright. Well, I was scolded quite harshly though.¡±


    Ending with just a scolding is a miracle. Not getting surrounded by sobbing people in ck clothes is a miracle.


    He was someone that infiltrated the lord¡¯s mansion that might get him for a petty reason even without getting found out as a spy. So he was reckless from a long time ago.


    The force that clenched my fingers grew tighter.


    Kaid stood up and poured some tea into another cup and offered me that.


    ¡°Plus, you¡¯re not a spy, am I correct?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Why not?¡±


    Where does that confidencee from.


    Seeing my puzzled look, Kaid made apletely exasperated face.


    ¡°What can a spy do if she stands out? Normally, spies blend in to not get noticed. There aren¡¯t any spies that say ¡®don¡¯t approach me¡¯ from the beginning¡±


    He¡¯s indeed a former spy. It¡¯s very convincing.


    ¡°I¡¯ve no idea about saying something about reincarnation to get out of trouble. It¡¯s unheard of. However, if I¡¯ve offended you, I could hold an investigation. Maybe you might be able to do something amidst that.¡±


    After hesitating a little, I took the cup that had no pulling strength to it. Slightly cooled, it gave off a foreign scent. Kaid fixed himself a cup of tea too. The clear red-brown liquid slopped back and forth.


    ¡°Whatever you are, it doesn¡¯t change the fact that you are my subject. I wish for all the people to be happy. Even if that might be a reckless dream and an idiotic wish, I still think that. If I don¡¯t, there¡¯s no point in robbing thisnd from the previous lord. I¡¯m not wishing for everyone to have enough money to y for the rest of their lives. But at the least, I wish no one will starve. I wish that people won¡¯t have to feel worried about surviving the winter. I wish that people won¡¯t have murder their babies from despair. I wish that there won¡¯t be a need to judge people for the crimes theymitted to survive. Then, after there are no more worries, I wish that people can live while smiling.¡±


    His wish are the minimum rights. The rights that people should have at the least.


    That which did not exist in Laius before.


    .


    .


    ¡°I believe that it is a very wonderful idea. For the sake of Laius, I will serve as you, my master¡¯s hands for a year. However, I have already been blessed from your wish in my previous life. Please offer your wish to someone else that had not received it yet.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s unfortunate, Shirley. I¡¯m arrogant. Two rather than one, three rather than two, the more the better. At the least, I won¡¯t forgive you if you starve to death in front of eyes. Anyway, I would like to begin by putting some fat on you, but well, I guess I¡¯ll make a toast for now.¡±


    ¡°About what, sir.¡±


    ¡°Right.¡±


    Kaid pondered a while. I looked up at that. He really grew tall. It¡¯s almost unbelievable that I wore low heels to match his height. Rather, my neck hurts.


    The cups shed.


    ¡°To the happy future of the youngdy in front of me.¡±


    ¡°To the future of our Laius. ¡°


    With Kaid who made a bitter smile, I sipped some tea. It was a tea that I didn¡¯t have back in those days, but it was easy to drink, not too bitter and with a sweetness.


    Seeing me blink, Kaidughed.


    ¡°Is it good? It will be the special produce of a vige to the east. It seems like thatnd is poor for other crops, but good for these tea leaves. Next year, it will spread to other ces in Laius. It would best if it could spread to other fiefdoms, but that might be tough. There¡¯s too much rain in thosends so the ground is unstable, making it hard to expand farnds.¡±


    I wonder if I ever heard about such things from father, or from grandfather.


    My family bought only from the royal capital and from famous stores. The money exploited from Laius was not spent in Laius. I could have easily understood what would happen then if I pondered a little, I thought.


    Isn¡¯t it pretty, isn¡¯t it cute. It¡¯s a top-quality good.


    It looks good on you. It looks nice. It¡¯s cute.


    I had trusted the smiles of my family without considering the process leading up to it.


    .


    .


    .


    Aa, you are right.


    Seeing Kaid, I wanted to burst intoughter. I couldn¡¯t tell what these feelings that sprang up after a long time were.


    Pleasant, cheerful, dismal and unsightly. I forgot the name of this emotion.


    I wonder what kind of face I¡¯m making. The golden eyes widened and murmured something, but I couldn¡¯t even catch that.


    Fifteen years after gained a new life, feelings started gushing out, bursting out. It swirled all around my body and it was worse than blood. Blood gives life but this will kill me.


    .


    .


    We were unclouded evil, evil so pure that it almost shone. We were the parasites bleeding Laius. We were the evils that rightly had to be murdered.


    His resolve was a wise one that rescued Laius from ruin, raising it back to glory and protecting the people.


    You are right.


    You are strong, wise and kind, fit to be called a hero. You truly are the saviour of Laius.


    .


    .


    .


    That is why, you made a mistake.

 Chapter 7: Preparing to go out, you and me.

    <h4>Chapter 7: Preparing to go out, you and me.</h4>


    A piece of bread and half a cup of soup.


    When I finished my usual lunch, Jasmine puffed her cheeks.


    ¡°Shir~ley~¡±


    To me who stood up with the empty dish, she called me in a strange and soft voice. When I turned around while tilting my head, arge chunk filled my mouth.


    Inside the mouth I identally closed, the sweet chunk melted away. A deep sweetness filled my mouth.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Peach?¡±


    ¡°Yesyesyes. If it¡¯s a fruit like peach, it¡¯s easy to eat and get the nutrients, right?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m surprised you managed to get it in this season.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s near the festival, so there were many thingsing in, and the chef said that this would be good for a youngdy.¡±


    When I turned my head towards the chef, the ever stoic, frowning man quickly disappeared into the shade of a deep pot. The senescent man had always given me the amount I asked for, but I learned for the first time today that it wasn¡¯t that he didn¡¯t care.


    While returning the dishes, I bowed my head slightly. I saw the white hat that could not hide shake.


    ¡°It¡¯s been a month since you started working for master, but Shirley, you¡¯re still eating here. I heard the food over there¡¯s nice too.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s here today because she has work!¡±


    In response to Jasmine who drew closer to him with great momentum, Samua took two steps back and whispered to the boy next to him.


    ¡°¡­¡­Did I say something wrong again?¡±


    ¡°I think obstinately being around her might have been a bad idea.¡±


    Their conversation could be heard from over here.


    The boy is a butler-in-training hired three months before I became. With eyes like the ear of rice, he is called Tim.


    ¡°E-Erm, Shirley-san, if you¡¯re in in clothes, does that mean you¡¯re going out somewhere?¡±


    I learned during this one month, but it seems like Samua speaks a word too much, or isn¡¯t very good with choosing words. Before Samua could anger Jasmine more, Tim quickly told the story.


    From the usual maid uniform I¡¯ve been wearing just before, I had changed into in clothes. A grey one-piece dress. It¡¯s one of the few property I have.


    ¡°Master said that he will be going down to the town, so he requested that she change into in clothes.¡±


    Since going out as a lord causes problems and takes time to prepare, he sometimes goes out secretly. So his attendant is also in in clothes. ording to Caron, he¡¯s been busy recently so she thought it would be soon.


    A simple one-piece dress made using a sheet of fabric. It¡¯s one of the only personal belongings I have, but seeing that Jasmine stared up at the sky.


    Having got closer to Samua, Jasmine pounded the table with a fist with a face full of trouble.


    ¡°I-I wanted to her lend her my clothes¡­¡­! To wear at the festival, I bought this cute pink dress. I wanted to lend her that, but the size¡­..!¡±


    ¡°Aah, you did eat three extra snacks- bu!¡±


    ¡°The clothes slip from her shoulders!¡±


    ¡°That was a slip of the tongue- ka!? It¡¯s the truth¡­¡­ Sorry, sorry I know that I¡¯m in the wrong so please stop hitting me! It hurts! If the size doesn¡¯t fit her, you can lend her something else, right!?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Ah, w-wait a bit, Shirley! I¡¯ll be back soon!¡±


    ¡°Ow!¡±


    Turning at a sharp angle while having Samua seized by the cor, she threw Samua and started running.


    If she¡¯ll be back soon I don¡¯t need to sit. I leaned against the wall and gathered my hands together in front my body.


    .


    In the dining hall, there¡¯s a little less people than at noon. There¡¯s a big festival once a year in Laius, so it¡¯s busy getting ready to receive guests from other fiefdoms. So there¡¯s not as many people as usual during meal times. Once we actually start receiving guests, it will get even busierpared to before.


    Since it¡¯s not as crowded as usual, I might not have needed to stand up. I already stood up. Anyway, I don¡¯t n on staying for long.


    Not leaning against the wall and standing tall, Tim approached me with a wry smile.


    ¡°Those clothes lookposed so it¡¯s nice.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Though Tim is a young person like me, he volunteers for errands with a smiling face and is very sociable. He is still very boyish, so his sweet and kind expression is probably another reason for him getting loved. He¡¯s also good with women, being able topliment people refreshingly like just before.


    Standing next to me, with simr height to me, Tim tilted his head slightly and stared at me.


    ¡°Shirley-san, everyone¡¯s saying that yourplexion has got better.¡±


    ¡°Thanks to somebody.¡±


    When I said that, Tim chuckled. He managed to see through the person I obfuscated. Then what he said next was about that person.


    ¡°Do you know what master¡¯s recent orders about the snacks were?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­No.¡±


    ¡°He asked for things that could eaten in single bite.¡±


    That was the first time I heard it.


    I thought he had been able to ce snacks into my mouth recently. I just thought Kaid liked small snacks because he¡¯s busy. But to think that it was to easily put it into my mouth.


    Next time, it might better if I cover my mouth when speaking. I made a wry smile as I pressed my lips with my finger, while Tim put his hands behind his head as he went, ¡°A¡ªah.¡± A gap appeared between his sleeve and his glove. There was a mole on his wrist, which for some reason I stared at.


    ¡°Master¡¯s snacks must be nice. I want to try some too.¡±


    I silently stared at him as he felt disappointed that it might have been his turn. I thought so too.


    Apparently, people who got used to work are put to work over there. So he was thinking that it would definitely be his turn soon. Even if it¡¯s the same faces, people are reced out of necessity. I wonder if that¡¯s there to watch the person that the next person could be shifted in without dy.


    Maybe he¡¯s holding a grudge against me, who was barely here for ten days while he was here for three months. But, that doesn¡¯t mean a thing.


    .


    .


    ¡°It¡¯s unfortunate that it wasn¡¯t me, but if it¡¯s Shirley-san.¡±


    To Tim who winked and smiled mischievously, I let out a sigh. Seeing that, Tim made a bitter smile, but not wanting to change the subject he ced his lips near my ear and lowered his voice.


    ¡°Everyone says that you two look good together.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Please tell everyone that¡¯s being insolent, no matter how kind master may be.¡±


    ¡°You are the one he takes most interest in though.¡±


    ¡°I do know that I am unsightly.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Master¡¯s marriage is the wish of all the servants.¡±


    Tim covered his face to hide tears. It¡¯s me who feels like crying.


    ¡°He¡¯s soon turning thirty, but he¡¯s refusing all marriage offers and there are no rumours either. The head butler¡¯s hair is growing greyer by the day!¡±


    I wonder about a fifteen-year-old butler-in-trainingmenting about that.


    I sighed again. Hearing that sigh, Tim dropped his shoulders sadly.


    ¡°It¡¯s a good story for Shirley-san too, right? You don¡¯t dislike master, right? You¡¯ll be marrying into riches! We servants are your allies! Truth be told, I think the head maid is at the centre of it, but fortunately she seems to like Shirley-san!¡±


    ¡°Master is a very charming man, so if he feels like he will soon find a partner. Stir him up. He¡¯ll surely find ady of proper status. Then the peace of Laius will be protected better, and there¡¯s nothing to be disappointed for me.¡±


    I took a step away and bowed with my hands together.


    ¡°Oi, Tim.¡±


    Then, Samua who had been rubbing his bruise opened his mouth.


    ¡°Stirring things up is fine, but pressuring is not.¡±


    Tim dejectedly dropped his shoulders and shut his mouth. The way he knows when to stop must also be a reason why is likeable. But please know that stirring things up is not good either.


    Tim apologised andughed bitterly.


    ¡°So you like Laius.¡±


    ¡°It is thend I was born in.¡±


    ¡°But then, will you not be here when you turn sixteen? This is the best ce to work for Laius though.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­I¡¯ll do my best during the short time here.


    .


    To be honest, I am a bit thankful to the orphanage director.


    For the opportunity of being able to do something for my first and second homnd. No matter how petty, that I could help. In myst life, I could not help, but only harm. I was unnecessary.


    There¡¯s no way I can¡¯t make up for everything in the short period of a year and then I¡¯ll be spending the rest of life in prayer for the future of Laius. However, that¡¯s still not enough. What has already been destroyed cannote back.


    Every time I learn about things lost in the times when death always hung around, I think that.


    Lands, stores, people, Laius, they all fell to ruin. Those who were rich in that period have more work than one death can solve.


    So when I got a second life I wanted to return it to the people who were murdered unjustly during that age. Just that would have been the salvation for the people who werementing their losses. I wouldn¡¯t have squandered it away, not knowing what I should do for redemption.


    How will I use this second life? How should I use it to atone for the sins of my family against Laius too.


    .


    .


    As I sighed, I heard pitter-patter sounds of footsteps. When I turned around, there was Jasmine panting with her face slightly red.


    ¡°Shirley, look at this!!¡±


    What she showed me was a ne with a blue decoration. When I closely examined what was shown to me, there was a small flower.


    ¡°Hyacinth?¡±


    ¡°Right, I bought it because it was cute. But then, it didn¡¯t go with the one-piece dress so I had kept it in a drawer. I¡¯ll give it to you, Shirley.¡±


    ¡°I,¡±


    ¡°I do think I am being nosy, but for a maiden my age to not have any luxuries¡­ Fufu, Shirley, you always tie your hair up, so it¡¯s easy to put on a ne.¡±


    After saying that, she quickly put her hands behind my neck and then backed away. Then, a blue ornament was hung on me. Jasmine, who put the blue colour on me, looked at me up and down.


    ¡°I did have a white one, but I identally snapped it some time ago¡­¡­¡±


    Come to think of it, there was a white flower on a ne whose chain snapped. I picked up as Jasmine was screaming, so I remember it well.


    I did that quite a few times in the past. With the thin chains, it was toote when I realised it. It had already snapped. Feeling the touch that I was not used to know, I unconsciously stared at my fingers.


    Jasmine grabbed that hand with both her hands.


    ¡°Then, maybe for living together, or for getting closer, whatever reason¡¯s good, so it would be nice if I got anything from Shirley¡­¡­ To be honest, I thought that it was the same colour as Shirley¡¯s eyes, so I ended up buying it immediately. Sorry, I bought it without knowing what your favourite colour is. This time, I want to go to the vige together with you. So, tell me what your favourite colour is or what you like the most!¡±


    ¡°Jasmine-san.¡±


    ¡°You always say you like Jasmine¡­¡­ Shirley, your skin is cute. Eh? Master¡¯s snack? Is it because of the snacks!? Can you ask him what¡¯s in those!?¡±


    I blinked hard as her face got closer to me than her hands gripping my hand and the topic changed quickly. I stepped back a bit and desperately jogged my memory. If there¡¯s something, there¡¯s only one thing.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­I think it might be the tea.¡±


    ¡°Tea confectionery!? Oh my, that must be good for the body!¡±


    ¡°No, not a mix.¡±


    ¡°Then something made with tea?¡±


    ¡°No, not solid but liquid¡­¡­¡±


    Liquid. Tea is fundamentally had in liquid state. I noticed that it got unnecessarilyplicated from trying to exin it and thought a little. Easy exnation, easy.


    ¡°It¡¯s just normal tea. So it has such an effect? Then we won¡¯t have to worry about the profits. I think I should investigate a bit¡­¡­¡±


    From the voice that came from behind, everyone flinched and turned around.


    .


    .


    ¡°Master!¡±


    To Kaid who was waving from outside the window for some reason, Samua hurried over.


    I stared at Kaid on the spot and was unable to move from the spot. His hair colour was different. He looked like a minor noble too. Though he doesn¡¯t wear luxurious clothing usually. He¡¯s closer to a viger than that, though.


    Kaid¡¯s hair, which was brown like Helt¡¯s, glistened in the sun. He put a hand on Samua who was panicking.


    .


    ¡°If you had called, I would have headed there, sir!¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s someone bothersome, so I¡¯m heading out through the back. I sorry, but please return the prepared horses.¡±


    ¡°Eh¡­¡­ a bothersome person, sir?¡±


    ¡°He will probablye here looking for me, but please act as though you don¡¯t know where I am. Shirley, shall we go?¡±


    I was called, so I detached my hand from Jasmine¡¯s. Actually, my hand was gripped. Well, doesn¡¯t matter either way.


    From that action, the blue flower on my chest swayed. Each other¡¯s gazes ovepped on that. Feeling the nce, I thought a little.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Thank you.¡±


    ¡°Y, eah¡­¡­ Yeah! Thank you!¡±


    She took my hand again. With that hand as the axis, Jasmine hopped about. My field of vision was suddenly turned around and I was pushed on the back.


    ¡°Enjoy yourselves!¡±


    Seeing Jasmine who looked more excited than me who was going to the town, Kaid who was leaning against the windowsill with his elbow smiled wryly.


    ¡°It is still work though?¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s still more fun cleaning or preparing the guest room, sir!¡±


    ¡°Mn, true.¡±


    .


    I was pushed again and stumbled. Grabbing my hand that almost crashed into the window, Kaid smiled wryly again¡­¡­


    So the flow is that I¡¯ll be exiting through the window. I wonder if Kaid will look the other way when I lift my leg. It will be a little difficult if he¡¯s looking over here.


    Would it be rude to ask the lord to face the other way? But at this rate, it will be rude in another sense.


    While I was pondering what to do, Kaid leant over using his tall height.


    ¡°Did you have lunch?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Did you have a lot?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­I had the usual.¡±


    Kaid smiled wryly.


    He makes this expression often. Not just him, others too. It¡¯s probably because of my attitude.


    ¡°Well, you don¡¯t lie.¡±


    His hand that was extended along with the wry smile took the ce behind my knees. I clung on to Kaid¡¯s head in surprise as he leant over. His dishevelled hair was stiffpared to the past. It did notpare to a fourteen-year-old¡¯s hair, but it feels very familiar to my fingers for some reason. The warmth I felt in the past did not change for some reason, so the emotion that started moving again brought pain.


    I hugged Kaid¡¯s head as he lifted me up through the window and muttered something next to his ear.


    ¡°¡­¡­I told enough lies already.¡±


    Kaid stopped mid-movement as he was crouching over to let me down. Iid my hands on those shoulders which were supporting me awkwardly and got off on my own.


    I stood up, took my hands off his shoulders and mumbled.


    .


    Noticing the strain, I curled my lips. It wasn¡¯t just that my facial muscles which were out of use for a long time was frozen. There were many things mixed in.


    It¡¯s a good thing I had my back towards Jasmine and the others. This face should not be shown for those who don¡¯t know that period.


    I grabbed my index finger and middle finger and silently bowed.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°Eh, what?¡±


    ¡°For helping me out the window.¡±


    To Kaid who was absentmindedly staring at my distorted face, I held my palm out to his left. The stable was to that direction.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go, sir. Shall we get going to the town?¡±


    .


    .


    Master.


    .


    .


    When I called him that, he looked at me with a very strange expression.


    So I furthered the distortion.


    .


    .


    I smiled.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    .


    .


    .


    .


    As we walked without conversing about anything special, we arrived at the stable. Kaid stopped. I was looking down at my feet, so soon I bumped into him. When I hurried to the side, I could see what was ahead.


    There was a young man leaning against the entrance of the stable. He had his golden hair tied up and had on the casual clothes of a minor noble, rumpled on purpose. The man that I remember seeing somewhere, winked his beauty spot next to his eye and smiled.


    ¡°It¡¯s been a while, but you¡¯re being rather cold to me, Kaid.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m seeing hallucinations. Looks like that tea does not work for hallucinations.¡±


    Completely ignoring that young man, Kaid had his body turned towards me. Ignored even though he was on our path, the young man raised an eyebrow and approached us with quick steps.


    ¡°Is that any proper attitude for the next lord of another fiefdom that came from far away for Laius Liberation Festival?¡±


    ¡°I received the news that the guest from Gimii is still in Gimii just yesterday. The arrival should be at least ten dayster.¡±


    ¡°Well, it should be empty inside.¡±


    ¡°Dammit.¡±


    After shaking off the arms behind him, Kaid faced that young man.


    ¡°Why can¡¯t you juste normally.¡±


    ¡°No, I heard that Fatlin is aiming to meet up with us near the entrance to Laius and I couldn¡¯t be bothered so I took only a few and came by horse.¡±


    ¡°The lord of Darich is Joblyn.¡±


    ¡°About Fatlin, did you know that he got inted even more?¡±


    ¡°From there?¡±


    ¡°Right. The carriage floor fell out I heard.¡±


    In my memory, the lord of Darich was twice as wider than my barrel-like father. If he got even fatter, the floor would fall out, I absentmindedly thought.


    And then I understood why I felt like I saw him somewhere. Though, all I remember was how he was a lovely doll-like ten-year-old boy. I hadn¡¯t met him often.


    ¡°Now, won¡¯t you introduce thatdy to me? Lord of Laius, Kaid Falua.¡±


    ¡°If you wanted me give introductions as a lord, you should havee through an official meeting.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s true.¡±


    The young man, as his thin cape fluttered,id a hand on his chest and bowed gently.


    ¡°Heir-apparent of the House of Gimii, Isador Navarro. Pleased to make your acquaintance,dy.¡±


    ¡°Master¡¯s maid, Shirley Hince, at your service, sir.¡±


    I neatly gathered my hands and bowed deeply without bending my back.


    ¡°¡­¡­Nice, her posture¡¯s fine and there¡¯s nothing unnatural to her tone either. Has it really been just a month since you hired her?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯ty your hand on my maid.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not stupid enough to fool around with women in Laius where the scary wolf lord resides. Just what did you do when the guest from the fiefdom of Wyfar tried to hit a maid at the mansion? The lord of Wyfar still hasn¡¯te to Laius. ording to rumours, he faints from just the mention of the name of Laius.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s just because he tried to fool around in my mansion. I just made doubly sure so that there won¡¯t be a second time for lords. Shirley, you can raise your head. Rather, the heir-apparent of Gimii is not in Laius yet, so this person is just a suspicious person.¡±


    ¡°Not someone suspicious. You could at least have said that I am your bosom-friend.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s go, Shirley.¡±


    When I raised my head, Isador who was ignored in the flow slightly puffed his cheek. Then he shrugged at me and looked at Kaid who went to prepare the horse. He¡¯s definitelying along. Kaid looked displeased but just sighed at his stubbornness.


    ¡°You, if you follow you¡¯ll have to help me.¡±


    ¡°If it¡¯s carrying things, please spare me. I haven¡¯t lifted up anything heavier than women.¡±


    ¡°Then, you can carry most things.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­You¡¯ll get stabbed if you say that.¡±


    ncing at me, Kaid shook the saddle a few times, lost in thought.


    ¡°Shirley¡¯s heavier than a saddle. That¡¯s a relief.¡±


    ¡°You should be saying that she¡¯s light as a feather, what are you being all serious for.¡±


    ¡°If she¡¯s light as a feather, that means she¡¯s about to starve to death. Then I¡¯d hurry and send aid and a medical team.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­You know there¡¯s something called figurative speech, right?¡±


    There were the two men who are shouldering Laius and the future Gimii.


    I fixed my posture and looked at them talking to each other.


    No matter how many times I blinked, I could only see the brown hair that once existed on thisnd and the blond young boy that once visited thisnd, ying together.

 Chapter 8: The guest of you and me.

    <h4>Chapter 8: The guest of you and me.</h4>


    Laius had never been upied in the past.


    Yet, the name of the biggest festival held every year is called ¡®Liberation Festival¡¯.


    It¡¯s not the day the previous rulers fell. It¡¯s a few days after that. It¡¯s the day when the bloodline went extinct.


    The day I died is the day the nightmare of Laius ended, a day of blessing.


    .


    .


    There¡¯s still 2 weeks until the festival, yet the town was already full of decorations and people from many different ces, as if to say that the festival had already begun.


    There were numerousrge pirs erected in the street, with paper flowers linking the flowers and adorning the road to the square.


    At the grand square, there was a stage of about four steps high set up. The wall section had a nk space for something to decorate it. It¡¯s likely a painting, but maybe from the thought that it might rain, or maybe for leaving it until thest day, it wasn¡¯t there. I watched the hurried movements of the curtains from afar.


    Not just the adults, the children too were gleaming their eyes at their days that were different from usual. Excited from the atmosphere, they boisterously chatted.


    ¡°I¡¯m Kaid-sama!¡±


    ¡°Eh¡ª! Unfair! I wanna be Kaid-sama!¡±


    ¡°No, I was faster! You be the previous lord!¡±


    An especially big boy crowned himself Kaid while swinging a stick about. There wereints from the other children, boos echoing out. Amidst the rowdy boys, a lovely pink colour swayed. Someone¡¯s little sister, perhaps. The youngest, the girl frantically wandered in between the boys.


    ¡°What about me? Hey, what about me? Onii-chan, what about me?¡±


    The smallest hand tugged at the biggest boy, her brother¡¯s hand. He buried an end of the stick he was wielding in the ground and started thinking.


    ¡°Eh¡ª! You¡¯ll cry if you¡¯re not the princess, right?¡±


    ¡°Pwincess!¡±


    ¡°Princess.¡±


    The boys put their heads together and started discussing. It seems that theirints are of less concern than if the girl cries.


    ¡°Then, thedy?¡±


    Hearing someone mutter the role, the girl¡¯s eyes glinted.


    ¡°Wady!¡±


    ¡°Lady. But, thedy¡¯s an enemy though?¡±


    ¡°She was a outrageous viiness, my dad said.¡±


    ¡°Eh¡ª, my mum said that she was a good person.¡±


    ¡°My dad too.¡±


    ¡°Eh, my dad said that she was a really scary woman~¡±


    At the feet of the boys that were groaning from thinking, the girl was happily going, ¡°Wady, wady.¡±


    .


    .


    .


    ¡°Children are innocent, huh.¡±


    Next to me, Isador waved at a woman passing by. The woman giggled and waved back. Probably not an acquaintance. He indiscriminately waved her hand at other women too. The lovely, angel-like boy had grown up.


    Feeling the flow of time, I stepped aside slightly but that continued.


    .


    We stood at a corner of the square.


    There are stalls surrounding the square, then behind those there are people who bought food sitting down or leaning against the wall.


    We mixed into them and waited for Kaid toe back.


    Kaid left me to Isador before leaving off to the back alleyways.


    ¡°Their hero is currently on the lookout for ruffians in the back alleyways.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Ruffian?¡±


    I did know he had work, but seeing that I didn¡¯t know what it was, Isador slightly narrowed his eye with the beauty spot.


    ¡°Right. It¡¯s not just good people gathering to the Liberation Festival. The people who want to kill him, they of course gather too. He confirms and arrests them himself without others¡¯ help. Well, if someone wants to do something to the guy, manpower will be needed and that would draw attention, so they can be crushed beforehand. He¡¯s a man I don¡¯t want to make an enemy out of.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­May he not just receive reports?¡±


    ¡°Of course he can just receive reports, but he thinks that he has to do everything himself. He believes he has to bear everything. A lord¡¯s work, the grudges, the scars, the victims. Even the infamy of murdering royalty.¡±


    Murder of royalty.


    It¡¯s not something that should be said casually likementing on the weather. Especially for a future lord.


    Ignoring my gaze, he continued as if n0thing happened. His gaze was pointing towards the children from before.


    ¡°It¡¯s already been fifteen years, yet the chaos ¡®the Treasure Flower¡¯ of Laius brought still lingers¡­¡­ she must have been quite something.¡±


    His flowing gaze headed to the lord¡¯s mansion. From here only the box shape of the building can be seen. Yet, his eyes seemed to hold the white building that used to be there.


    .


    .


    A wind passed through the square, rattling stalls¡¯ roofs, scattering paper and stealing flowers from children.


    As I reflexively shut my eyes from the passersby, Isador held his hair down so that it would not be ruined and faintly narrowed his eyes.


    ¡°I wonder if young people like you might not know. Before, in Laius, there was a princess who was called ¡®the Treasure Flower¡¯.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­The Fruiteless Flower of Laius.¡±


    ¡°My, so you knew that? Right, she was quite the viin. Even now, people who say that she shouldn¡¯t have been killed and people who say that it was the correct action argue. Especially more so since she was very beautiful. Some say she was innocent, some say that ignorance is sin too and some say she was a notoriously wicked woman. Now there¡¯s just the stories, all mixed up. But, back then, she shouldn¡¯t have been left alive. Kaid did the right thing. If she was alive, definitely, somewhere, someone would have lifted her up. Since there are no policies that can satisfy everyone, there is bound to be dissatisfaction. If there was a pretender, then Laius back then would not have been protected. The people are selfish and quick to forget past pain. Once their past pain and wounds heal, then they start hurting from things in front of them. But looking at their scars, they still bark that the past wounds hurt. This hurts, that hurts. Once all their pain is gone, then they start attacking up, saying that other people¡¯s injuries hurt. It must be convenient to be able to say such things. How envious. Especially more so since they can ignore other people¡¯s pain. They say with fury that nobles don¡¯t see people of lower station as humans, yet they do not think of nobles as humans. There¡¯s no pain for them, they say. It¡¯s because they don¡¯t think we get hurt and cry the same like them. Weakness is privilege enough. Those are the privileged ss. The don¡¯t need to make choices nor take responsibility, yet theyin at the results. They are allowed to whine and hit others. It really is enviable. If they do it, it¡¯s calledining, but if we do it it¡¯s called abuse. It¡¯s discrimination.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­People gather if there is something to put up, so I also believe that master¡¯s decision was correct.¡±


    ¡°Ah, sorry. That got off topic. Also, you are smart. Indeed, even if it was a provincial school, I can see how you were always at the top of your ss.¡±


    I wasn¡¯t surprised at what he was spouting casually. People with power like him don¡¯t talk without knowing the other person. Not to mention for a topic like this.


    When I quietly looked up, Isador raised an eyebrow this time and made the expression that he made a mistake.


    ¡°You¡¯re not surprised either. I must wonder at the size of your guts. Yes, I know you. Likely better than you do. Shirley Hince. Fifteen years, on a rainy day, you were found wrapped in a cloth on a stone by a road. Then, you were raised at the orphanage in Kaina. Always good at academics, with sports slightly good? Thanks to that, there were many adoption offers but you didn¡¯t ept any. There was even one from the local noble, isn¡¯t refusing that being too above your station?¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing I could give back for adopting a woman who will be a nun. It would have been everyone¡¯s loss if I was adopted.¡±


    ¡°Amazing, your goal from the ¡®my dream¡¯ essay written when you were six had not changed at all, that really is amazing. Then, I wonder if you knew that the mayor of Kaina wanted to marry you to his son. Since his son isn¡¯t too bright, he probably wanted a wise woman to grab his reins. That¡¯s why the orphanage director sent you here.¡±


    I frowned slightly. This time, Isadorughed merrily, refreshed.


    So that¡¯s why the orphanage director got desperate. It wasn¡¯t just to stop me from bing a nun. As soon as it was arrange me for me to work here, I was driven away without time to listen to details, so I was wondering if I was making a face as if I would die if I can¡¯t be a nun.


    The mayor¡¯s son¡­¡­ Right, he was a rowdy boy with a aquiline nose. I remember him throwing balls of mud, flipping skirts or pulling hair. It felt like he had energy lying around. He fixed the roof of the orphanage, so I don¡¯t think he¡¯s a bad child, but since it was him who ruined the roof he¡¯s not a good child either.


    .


    .


    ¡°¡­¡­Did investigating me did anything?¡±


    ¡°No? It was just weird to have nothing. But it wasn¡¯t just me who investigated you. Kaid investigated when he hired you. And now, not just Darich and Wyfar, even the king is probably looking into you.¡±


    I grabbed my index and middle finger. I put some strength into my back which was straight to begin with.


    ¡°Laius is big. So no one could touch it fifteen years ago. With the king, it couldn¡¯t be touched. It was and descending from the union between a general and a princess. The root of the previous rulers were royalty. So other noble couldn¡¯t touch it. If a noble tried to do something it could mean that they are acting against the crown. The king meant to dismantle the fiefdom of Laius. So he did not reach out. The power of Laius was too much. Then Darich knew that it can be divided up after it¡¯s dismantled, so he even encouraged specific actions to the previous lord.¡±


    Yes, that was how our paradise waspleted. With nothing threatening it, our paradise exploited from Laius and grew.


    The princess of the past who fulfilled your love. Your blood mixed with your love had became the yoke upon thisnd. Your descendants, us, became obstacles.


    ¡°So Laius was near its end. The rulers of othernds didn¡¯t move yet, letting the rulers of Laius be finished by the people of Laius, poised to swoop in once the only resistance would be the people. No one knew this noble house of Falua that was demoted away to a remote province a long time ago. Moreover, who would have though that a fourteen-year-old boy whose family was wiped out from epidemic would bite off the neck of the lord. Even though his family was already dead, if he was found out his followers, their families and possibly even rted viges and towns would have been burned, yet he did well despite the risks.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Yes.¡±


    ¡°I still remember it. He was only four years older than me, but he had the face of an adult. People¡¯s lives, Laius, murder of royalty, shouldering all those on his then thin shoulders, he became a lord. ¡­¡­My father said that he was pitiful. To those hands that dirtied themselves to get back that which was taken away from the people Laius, nothing woulde. Saying that, my father decided to support Kaid. To begin with, Gimii isn¡¯t very big. Not much could be gained from Laius copsing. We could see that there was too much on his hands and Laius falling would be troubling for us.¡±


    My body grew cooler but a heat whirled in my head.


    My sins were too heavy for me to go to hell. That¡¯s why I am here.


    ¡­¡­Ah, I hope at the least that my parents are in hell. I¡¯ll take all the unremovable sins, so please wash away your sins in hell. I hope they could pass away into the embrace of our ancestors.


    .


    .


    .


    In front of us, a child swinging from her parents hands smiled. Boys with arms around each other¡¯s shoulders ran. A blushing pair of man and woman let their hands go but entwined their fingers again. They grew embarrassed from each other¡¯s gaze, but their smiles were very dazzling.


    ¡°He doesn¡¯t marry because of hereditary session. Because hereditary session was why the past Laius was born, he wants the next session to be someone of good ability. ¡­¡­.With that as the excuse, he lived alone. He kept losing without having anything. Casually, in front of me who called him a friend. It really is a cruel story.¡±


    Unlike Isador who stared up into the sky, I stared down at the ground.


    ¡°Laius takes from him without giving anything or paying back. But he will still live as a Lord. He¡¯ll be the wise lord. Kaid is the obedient ve of Laius. Kaid know he won¡¯t gain anything. He will rot away without hope. A lord worse than a person. If that¡¯s the condition, it¡¯s too harsh.¡±


    I clenched my two fingers as if to snap them and bit my lips.


    ¡°¡­¡­Telling me that, what do you wish to tell me?¡±


    A shadow fell over my feet as I hung my head down. Isador was looking at me. I knew that I have to lift my head, but my gaze did not leave the beautifully cobbled street.


    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you why I investigated you thoroughly. It¡¯s because you threw Kaid out of order. You made Kaid, who did not tremble a bit for the past fifteen years, waver. Going down to town with a maid, it¡¯s the first time I heard of it.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­There were many such asions. Might your investigation be not adequate enough?¡±


    ¡°Before he would take a few servants and maids. It¡¯s the first time seeing him go out alone with someone. I saw with these eyes and got surprised. If he got interested in chasing skirts, that would have been better, but that doesn¡¯t seem to be the case. Now then, who could you be? It¡¯s a mystery to me. How did you make that Kaid waver? You couldn¡¯t have had any opportunity to have prior contact. It¡¯s the first timeing out of Kaina for you, and Kaid doesn¡¯t have time to go out to such a ce in the sticks. Then within this month? That¡¯s too fast even for a fated meeting. Even love at first sight isn¡¯t believable unless there¡¯s more time. Falling for your charms, I¡¯m sorry, but I don¡¯t that is a possibility. And even if you were his type, he wouldn¡¯t let you close more than necessary. Then, who could you be. What is it about you that made Kaid waver? Just a month is still a month. This can only apply for people other than that stubborn man. For him, I won¡¯t be surprised if it takes a year.¡±


    Relying on the fingers that I clenched without minding if they broke, I lifted my head. Isador was closer than I expected. I could see his beauty spot. In the backlight, those curled lips were especially clear.


    ¡°Before I met you, I asked a servant I knew, but it doesn¡¯t really seem like anything special happened. Now that¡¯s strange. You were just doing the same thing as the other maids. Rather, you¡¯re increasing your distance from Kaid. But then what lured Kaid?¡±


    He¡¯s searching. The gaze judging me was particrly sharp. He must truly be wanting to find the answer, yet it feels like he¡¯s teasing rather than interrogating. I wonder if I feel that way because I¡¯m menial.


    .


    ¡°Nothing like that happened, so it¡¯s difficult for me to answer.¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s different. I wondered if these people didn¡¯t realise it¡­¡­ Now that I met you, I¡¯m certain. You look his way so many times yet you say that.You look at Kaid¡¯s back, while Kaid looks at your back, ¡®Nothing,¡¯ won¡¯t work here. I¡¯m sorry, but please tell this to Kaid. Unless it¡¯s fixed before other lordse, it¡¯ll be quickly found out.¡±


    .


    I realised only after it was pointed out. I wonder if I was looking at him that much. ¡­¡­.I, might, have.


    I mped down on my lip. It¡¯d be nice if it tore away and bled, but my trembling mouth didn¡¯t have such power.


    .


    The way tied back his ck hair swayed, the trembling gold colour softer than the sun, the back that grew quiterge, the legs I once saw at the stream, the hands I once held.


    I was watching those. The person I once loved, the first love. I was watching. Surely.


    I was watching.


    Always.


    .


    I was always watching.


    .


    Now, and in the past.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    Because, I had loved you.

 Chapter 9: Your friend and me.

    <h4>Chapter 9: Your friend and me.</h4>


    ¡°Who could you be, and what could you be to Kaid?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­I, do not know.¡±


    ¡°Could you be someone that will liberate my friend?¡±


    ¡°I do not know.¡±


    With a grin, Isador stretched out his long fingers and grabbed up my chin. My face distorted slightly from the pain as I looked up at the face that approached.


    ¡°I won¡¯t me you even if you can¡¯t liberate him. Since it could still spark the hope of him living not as a lord but as Kaid. But I won¡¯t forgive you if you hurt him. I won¡¯t let him have more burdens. If it¡¯s just longing, leave now. If you¡¯re not ready to be there to the end, step back before you hurt him. If it¡¯s him, he won¡¯t think he is bruised¡­¡­ What do you mean, ¡®the Wolf¡¯. You people call him that as a sign of strength, but wolves are creatures that live in packs. You are leaving such a thing alone with burdens. He¡¯s cast outside the packs of people, yet the pests hang on.¡±


    I could feel disgust in his voice.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Isador-sama, do you dislike these people¡­¡­ no,moners?¡±


    He is not just talking about Laius.


    The sweet face that women like shifted in a blink. Not just the tone, but his expression too was ring, like a de.


    ¡°Do you think I like them? Just weakness isn¡¯t bad. I don¡¯t criticise people for their weaknesses outside their control. But why must they use that weakness as a spear to denounce my life? The weak aren¡¯t sinners. But the strong are? Are the strong sinners unless they let themselves be deprived? Is it a sin to not use my strength for others? Is it arrogance to use my own strength for myself? Do I have to feel pleased to see my friend sacrifice himself? Calling such things as noble¡¯s duty and using their lives as stepping stones, yet they call that sacrifice. I am not a kind person like Kaid. I¡¯m not that magnanimous.¡±


    It was too grim an expression to be called a smile. It wasn¡¯t the first time I saw amoner-hating noble like him. So I¡¯m not scared. But it hurts.


    He dislikesmoners. He does not scorn them. He dislikes.


    It has been decided that he must stand on top of people from his birth. Even if he did well, only death might wait at the end. Even if he doesn¡¯tmit evils like my family and it¡¯s just the flow of the period, he is a sinner unless acknowledged by the people. Ignorance, ipetence, powerlessness, those are all sins for a noble.


    It¡¯s on the bright side if it ends as a light crime. Expulsion is good. Even if it¡¯s banishment, there¡¯s still life.


    There are people like us who were executed. We received just punishment, but there were kind people among the others. Just, normal, not exploiting the status, not extorting money nornd, not murdering to get women. There were normal, good people like that. But no achievements. No glory. Powerless. Not predicting the future. Not preventing famine. Unable to make rain. Unable to suppress the gue. Unable to capture rampaging bandits. Not bringing stability like in other ces.


    .


    No devils, them.


    Just, not skilled, either.


    .


    If born as a noble, one is born to stand on people. Yet, some find happiness in humble everyday life. There are people who just wish to protect their family. They would normally be considered as kind, but those people are considered ipetent as rulers.


    Ill-fitting. That is unforgivable.


    Couldn¡¯t do it. Didn¡¯t know it. Those are directly linked to death. For the people and for themselves.


    .


    Sacrificing themselves for the people that might one day kill them.


    Those are rulers.


    .


    .


    .


    ¡°People can choose their lords, but lords can¡¯t choose their people. It¡¯s a really unfair system.¡±


    ¡°That must not be all the world. I hear that there are ces where the weak and the strong do not exploit each other¡­¡±


    ¡°Well, I don¡¯t know¡­¡­ such an ideal world can only exist in wishes. Kaid too knows that. He knows, yet he¡¯ll keep being a lord. Since he resolved to do that, a friend¡¯s job is to support him. However, I cannot look over nuisances.¡±


    The fingers pressing my chin grew more forceful, almost as if they would bury themselves in my bone.


    ¡°Which side are you on? A battle between the strong. I wouldn¡¯t mind that, but if you drag him down from your weakness, I¡¯ll have to remove you now.¡±


    I stared at the eyes that came closer.


    There were maelstroms of hatred there. Dislikingmoners, that was too lukewarm. He hates. He detests the inequality.


    But that¡¯s not all.


    He worries. About his friend, about where his friend is going. For Kaid¡¯s happiness. From back then, unchangingly, he worries for Kaid.


    I grabbed the hand gripping my chin.


    ¡°You¡¯ve always been friendly with Kaid¡­ Helt.¡±


    His eyes distorted open wide from difort.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Isador-sama, but I have damaged your cherished friend beyond repair. As you say, I am his shackle.¡±


    Strength left his hand and fell away. Not quickly as if swatted away, but suddenly losing strength.


    ¡°W-What?¡±


    I grabbed his falling hand with both hands.


    ¡°I wonder if you can wait a little. ¡­¡­I¡¯m sure, Kaid also knows. He knows and we both are looking for it. The words¡­¡­ and the way to end the second time.¡±


    Once, long time ago, I had grabbed his hand like this. Before, he did not hatemoners and dreamed of bing a splendid lord like his father, his eyes shining bright. I wonder when it changed. Fifteen years is long. It has been long for anyone.


    And there was another person back then.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­You people, did something happen?¡±


    Indeed, you were there.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    With an expression of both surprise and exasperation, Kaid was standing there. The awkwardly positioned hand wandered confusedly and settled down in the end. The appearance of the tall man with his arms crossed can only look imposing to people passing by. Naturally, people avoided him. Sometimes, there were people who were looking at us pitifully.


    I let go and Isador¡¯s hand and turned around to Kaid. Then I deeply curtsied to him.


    ¡°Wee back, master.¡±


    ¡°Ahh, I¡¯m back¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°How did it turn out, sir?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Did Isador tell you? It didn¡¯t increase as much as I had expected. Considering that it¡¯s near the festival, there¡¯s not a lot. Other than the rted ones, I handed them over to the police and that¡¯s all good¡­ but, what were you doing?¡±


    He gazed at Isador and me, but as Isador was looking at me, Kaid¡¯s gaze was also fixed on me.


    I grabbed my index finger and middle finger and thought a bit.


    ¡°I was listening to how magnificent master is.¡±


    ¡°Oi, Isador, what did you blow into her.¡±


    red at sharply, Isador hemmed and hawed. The eyes that wandered between Kaid and me often ultimately turned towards me.


    ¡°W-Well¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°You should ignore this guy¡¯s words. They¡¯re a mixture of facts and fiction.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t lie though.¡±


    To Isador who said something while looking at me, Kaid made a strange expression. Then he looked towards me.


    ¡°I also don¡¯t lie, sir.¡±


    ¡°Ahh, no, I don¡¯t doubt that.¡±


    Still not looking satisfied, Kaid looked back and forth between the two of us. I took a step in front him. While looking at the person who was showed a surprised expression to me, I smiled. I couldn¡¯t feel any crooked twitching.


    ¡°I lied enough already.¡±


    I wonder if I smiled properly this time.


    .


    .


    ¡°A long time ago, I told an awful lie.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Not had to tell, but told?¡±


    .


    .


    Definitely, there¡¯s nothing I can do for Laius.


    However, there¡¯s something I can do for this person that is protecting Laius.


    He protected thisnd that was ruined because of us. For this person that lived for the sole purpose of cleaning up after us, there¡¯s something I can do for him.


    I can take back the burden I forced on him.


    .


    .


    ¡°I¡¯m a liar.¡±


    .


    .


    Bowing deeply mid-curtsy, I stopped any further conversation. I could feel that they wanted to say something, but I risked being rude and bowed further.


    Please wait a little more.


    I will, tell you your mistake. Then I must apologise for my lies to you. I will apologise.


    I will definitely apologise. For that purpose, I¡¯ll muster up my courage.


    .


    .


    So please, just for a little more, give me a little more time.

 Chapter 10: The waiting period of you and me.

    <h4>Chapter 10: The waiting period of you and me.</h4>


    It was Kaid who broke the deep silence.


    ¡°¡­¡­First, we have to finish work.¡±


    In response to the murmured words, I raised my head. Isador swung his hands that were meaninglessly floating in front of his chest. Rather than swing, it looked like he didn¡¯t have a ce for them that he couldn¡¯t drop them.


    ¡°What, Isador.¡±


    ¡°N-No¡­¡­I¡¯ll, pass on it.¡±


    ¡°But you followed us here¡­¡­ there aren¡¯t any ns for you to carry baggige, you know.¡±


    ¡°Eh? Ah, ahh, I don¡¯t want to carry stuff, yeah.¡±


    With that, Isador stepped back.


    ¡°¡­¡­Kaid, I have something to say to youter.¡±


    ¡°What a coincidence, same here. You look terrible. What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°Later, let¡¯s talkter. For now, I¡¯m returning to the mansion.


    ¡°My mansion.¡±


    ¡°Ahh, yeah, your mansion¡­¡­ I¡¯ll return, there. Then,ter, some talk¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­You, what really happened to you?¡±


    Flustered, he looked back and forth between Kaid and me. Isador was so pale that even I felt worried. Today was a day for looking back and forth between people.


    Raising his head then hanging it down, Isador ran home at full speed. After absentmindedly watching his back disappear in a blink of an eye, Kaid looked at me with truly indescribable eyes.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Did you say something?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­I¡¯m sorry for returning a question with a question, but may I ask a question?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Yeah.¡±


    Indeed, I haven¡¯t been hiding it desperately, and rather, it was me who spoke about it first. Though I just reported it. Still, I¡¯m curious if there¡¯s something that made him sure.


    ¡°I¡­¡­ Is there something special to me?¡±


    Kaid blinked his eyes. He pressed his mouth as he was about to say something and groaned for something, finally letting out a sigh.


    ¡°¡­¡­Your eyes are reflecting you.¡±


    With a murmur like a small sigh, the golden shade looked at me reproachfully. Indeed, the eyes did not change. But, I couldn¡¯t change this on my own will, and in addition, I wonder they didn¡¯t change even though I changed as a whole.


    While I was tilting my head and thinking, he continued on as he sulked slightly.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­I was nning on waiting until you were ready, but seeing that you can mention it to Isador, it really set me thinking.¡±


    ¡°Your name¡­¡­ that was all I said.¡±


    ¡°That guy reacted with just that. Hehh. Just that.¡±


    When I looked at him, the golden shade slowly moved away. It felt as though I would be pursued if I turned around. I could understand why he is called ¡®the Wolf¡¯. Since it felt like I would be chased if I showed my back, I slowly backed away while facing him.


    Even if I turn away, I would feel the gaze following me.


    I know. I know. I know that Kaid knows.


    Please wait a little more. I couldn¡¯t organise any of the thoughts.


    I used the technique for working I learned when I entered the mansion. Bowing my head and hiding my face. It was taught so that I could hide that I was not smiling, but it¡¯s working greatly outside of that too.


    To the technique of the skilled deputy head maid, Kaid sighed.


    .


    ¡°Let¡¯s finish work.¡±


    ¡°Understood, sir.¡±


    The farce that we kept up for a month abruptly changed the atmosphere that was between us.


    .


    .


    .


    Kaid seemed to think about the flow of people. He looked at the movements of the patrols and marked something down on the map. When I silently looked up at him, Kaid smiled bitterly after noticing my gaze.


    ¡°I¡¯m not very bright, you see. Unless I see if for myself, I can¡¯t get a clear grasp. Otherwise, I¡¯d feel sorry for the people actually working that receive absurd instructions.¡±


    The man who pulled together Laid that was about to fall apart said that without any self-deprecation. He probably really feels that way.


    It¡¯s not that he¡¯s not bright.


    It was that tough. It must have been desperate. In such a chaotic Laius, telling apart friend or foe must have been the hardest thing.


    He does not the time of leisure I spend without knowing anything.


    Butlers and maids work on shifts, but he does not have anyone to change with. The light does not go out at light and in the morning he has already changed his clothes and is working. After the basics are done and the head butler reports to him, he nods and heads to train with the sword.


    Every day, without rest.


    Even on days after he was poisoned.


    He doesn¡¯t have to do everything on his own. He doesn¡¯t have to protect everything by himself, he doesn¡¯t have to sacrifice himself, he can be protected by someone and he can rely on someone. There certainly was the way a lord should be, as Isador said. The right standards for a lord does exist in this world.


    However, that does not have to be synonymous with killing Kaid.


    No one will me him. Don¡¯t you think so?


    If it¡¯s not hubris to say so, it may be my fault.


    When I looked up while holding my index and middle fingers, the golden shade made a strange expression.


    As I looked at that face, emotions soaked in. He told me that I am reflected in my eyes. Without realising what this thing welling up inside me, I bowed my head using the excuse that I am a maid.


    I felt thankful to Kaid who made a bitter smile but did not pry further.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    ¡°Huh, isn¡¯t it my lord?¡±


    Stretched with intervals, or carefree, or rxed. It was really hard to describe it, but perhaps the best expression would be that the voice was peaceful.


    It¡¯s a voice I know.


    ¡°Cecil.¡±


    Without turning around, Kaid wrote something on the map with a frown on his face. He¡¯s not displeased. His eyes are probably tired. He didn¡¯t get much sleep in this busy period, so he could have rested at least for today.


    ¡°Is it done?¡±


    ¡°It always has a satisfying result every year.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not worried about that. I¡¯m talking about the picture for the stage.¡±


    ¡°Ugu!¡±


    ¡°So it¡¯s you¡­¡­ every morning, Carolinaes and says sorry¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Ugu¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°The forehead of the person in charge of the stage decorations grows wider everyday, so please hurry up.¡±


    The person with smile lines near his eyes is Cecil Fox.


    He¡¯s Caron¡¯s husband.


    .


    From the time he eloped with Caron, he was a painter that was being called to noble¡¯s mansions, but it seems that he is quite a famous painter now. However, though it may just be the trait of artists, he is very slow with his brush unless he feels like it.


    I see, so the empty part at the stage may have been the ce for his picture. ¡­¡­It looked like there was a lot, I wonder if he¡¯ll be alright.


    I¡¯m d that he looks happy, but I hope he doesn¡¯t trouble Caron too much, I thought, then my skirt was lifted up from behind. From the skirt between my legs lifting up from an impossible wind, I ended up letting out a short yelp.


    From my scream, Kaid snapped around. Then, right after he red at my feet, he closed his eyes.


    ¡°Adele.¡±


    ¡°Hello, my lord! How are you! Who¡¯s that?!¡±


    ¡°Ah, hello. I don¡¯t feel bad, but since she¡¯s surprised can you let that go for now.¡±


    Grabbing my skirt in the mysterious way of flipping it up and pulling it down, there was a girl of ten or so. She had a lovely freckled face with her hair split into two braids. She wore a cute ribboned hat sideways.


    The girl who resembles someone put up her index finger with a prim face.


    ¡°Because, pulling horizontally will take time, but pulling vertically will get it done straight away, right?¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t go around surprising people for just one second. I¡¯m sorry¡­¡­ er,¡±


    ¡°Ah, I¡¯m my master¡¯s maid, Shirley Hince. I¡¯m in the care of the head maid.¡±


    ¡°I see. I¡¯m Cecil Fox. This girl is my daughter Adele.¡±


    I thoughtso. The girl introduced by Cecil, who looks like Caron, let go of my skirt and greeted me.


    I met Caron muchter, but thinking that Caron might have been like this when she was little, Adele was lovely.


    ¡°Lovely¡­¡­ Cute¡­¡­¡±


    When I unintentionally blurted that out, she brushed away the hand I stretched out for a handshake. She first blinked her eyes, then pouted her small lips and turned away.


    ¡°If you¡¯re saying that because I¡¯m like mummy, I¡¯m tired of that. I¡¯m cute on my on!¡±


    ¡°Well, you really are like your mum. Your face and your personality. I sincerely apologise for my daughter¡¯s rudeness, Shirley-san.¡±


    ¡°No¡­¡­ I should be saying sorry.¡±


    After bowing in apology, I stared at my hand that was brushed away.


    ¡°¡­¡­I ended up getting disliked.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡ª, er¡ªm¡­¡­ how about breakfast?¡±


    Looking at me downhearted dropping my shoulders and staring at my hand, Kaid, not having found effective words of constion, looked around the stores.


    ¡°I ate before we left, sir.¡±


    It was Kaid who gave the order, for him to have possibly forgot.


    When I narrowed my eyes at him, Kaid spoke nonchntly.


    ¡°I thought that it should be just enough for this, but it does seem to be right. If you want to me someone, me yourself for not eating a lot usually.¡±


    A voice like Cecil¡¯s came out. I was told to have some meals after I change clothes. Everyone looked at me strangely for eating at the mansion when I¡¯m going downtown. If this was going to happen, maybe I shouldn¡¯t have had the bread.


    Looking at me who was staring at him reproachfully, Kaid suddenly stared at somewhere far away. It¡¯s noisy over there for some reason.


    ¡°I¡¯ll go take a quick look. Cecil, I leave Shirley in your care.¡±


    The moment he said that, Kaid fixed his sword low and left with quick steps.


    Different, you¡¯re different, Kaid. Seeing the back that quickly melted away into the crowd, I thought so. Here you should have sent your maid and stayed here.


    It wasn¡¯t just me who thought that, as Cecil smiled bitterly as he scratched his head.


    ¡°He¡¯s ever the same. I could have went on my own.¡±


    ¡°Hey hey, are you really just a maid? That ne, did you get it from Kaid-sama?¡±


    With the unique way of lifting it up and pulling it down, her fingers pointed to the blue flower I got from Jasmine.


    I folded my feet in and crouched down.


    ¡°No, I received it from my roommate. She¡¯s a very nice person called Jasmine.¡±


    ¡°Ah, I heard that name from Carolina. She made a bitter smile, saying that the girl is just like her when she was young.¡±


    ¡°Like mummy?¡±


    The small head and the big eyes staring at the ne was so cute that my mouth naturally formed into a smile.


    ¡°This flower is cute. What¡¯s it called?¡±


    ¡°This is a hyacinth.¡±


    ¡°My, isn¡¯t that nice.¡±


    Leaning in lightly and checking the colour, Cecil said that with a soft smile. He really is a painter. Looks like he knows a lot about flowers and thenguage since he uses them in his pictures. Adele who alone seemed to not know the meaning tugged Cecil¡¯s clothes. It looks like his trousers will fall off.


    While clutching his trousers tightly with both hands, Cecil bent over and told the meaning. Then, Adele suddenly lost interest in the trousers she was pulling so strongly and let it go. Cecil was freed. Then he fell over magnificently.


    Without giving even a nce to her father who was on the floor, Adele held her small hands together.


    ¡°It¡¯s the same as the one I gave to Kaid-sama!¡±


    I ended up opening my eyes wide.


    Cecil kept speaking with the slow dispirited voice.


    ¡°Daddy doesn¡¯t support that.¡±


    Unlike her rxed father, her eyes shot up. She¡¯s quite the precocious and unyielding woman. Possibly more than her mother.


    ¡°Daddy, you eloped to marry mummy.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m saying. Not him.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Grandpa and Grandma are telling me to work hard, since something might happen if I don¡¯t give up. Since, Kaid-sama hasn¡¯t married yet.¡±


    ¡°M¡ªn, they like power after all.¡±


    ¡°Why not? Because I¡¯m a child? But I¡¯ll grow soon. I¡¯m the best in studying in my school too.¡±


    ¡°No. Because I love you.¡±


    Adele gradually grew sullen from not getting the meaning. Her father brushed off the dust from his trousers and crouched down in front of Adele.


    ¡°That person has already decided to be alone. Let¡¯s pretend that something happened and you somehow ended up marrying him. Still, he won¡¯t treat you specially. He lost his lifetime¡¯s worth of love.¡±


    ¡°Was he rejected?¡±


    ¡°Now¡­¡­ daddy doesn¡¯t know. Changing is not evil. Even breaking an oath is not necessarily evil. Forgetting or healing from time is something allowed only for living people. However, he doesn¡¯t forgive that. He can¡¯t forgive himself for changing. He can¡¯t forgive even being forgiven. To save him, a miracle is needed¡­¡­ Ahh, still the world is flowing with unexinable phenomenons. Then, if there¡¯s a miracle, rather than a beautiful miracle, I¡¯d like a kind miracle.¡±


    Looking at her father narrow his eyes and stare far, the girl puffed her cheeks.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s alright if you don¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°No! That¡¯s not an exnation if the other person doesn¡¯t understand. No points for that.¡±


    ¡°Hahaha, Adele¡¯s strict.¡±


    ¡°Daddy¡¯s too carefree. Your socks don¡¯t match again today!¡±


    ¡°There wasn¡¯t a matching pair.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re lying. I properly put them in the drawer yesterday.¡±


    ¡°Adele, amazing, you¡¯re helping out.¡±


    ¡°Daddy¡¯s just too bad. How can you make the soup that salty?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s strange, right?¡±


    At the street, a father and his young daughter are smiling. That is not a rare sight, but a natural one.


    A gentle Laius came back¡­¡­ no, it¡¯s different. He made a gentle world.


    He¡¯s not in there. That sort of thing, it¡¯s strange.


    Weaving through the crowd, a brown-haired head appeared. It¡¯s amazing how he can arrived without bumping into anyone in that crowd. Adele who suddenly dyed her cheeks is amazing too. Very cute.


    ¡°There were drunkards acting violently from daytime, so I punished them and handed them over to the patrol. Sorry, Shirley. Looks like we stand out a bit, so let¡¯s change ces. Then, Cecil, Adele.¡±


    ¡°Please excuse us.¡±


    I quickly bowed and stuck close to the familiar brown hair.


    .


    ¡°I don¡¯t think they¡¯re lovers. Because, they¡¯re not holding hands.¡±


    ¡°Maybe we should keep talking about it until they get it.¡±


    Such voices came from behind us. Then, as if chased by the rowdiness, we left that spot.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    Since I was too weak to walk around while eating at the same time, we ate while sitting at the fountain of a small square.


    I wonder how people can eat without spilling anything as they walk. Seeing how little children could manage that too, I grew a little depressed. Kaid came to the simple conclusion that it¡¯s alright if I can¡¯t walk while eating without getting angry. Then he even told me that people usually eat while sitting down. As he ate the meat bun he bought from the stall while slowly strolling.


    ¡°What¡¯s the seasoning?¡±


    ¡°Ey, it¡¯s a southern spice called pepper.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s delicious.¡±


    ¡°Right? You can count on our judgement. Though, women and children said that we should reduce it a bit.¡±


    ¡°Indeed, it might be tough if there¡¯s too much. Still, I like this. Pepper. I¡¯ll remember it.¡±


    There was a food stall where we had an exchange like that. The stall owner told many things to the well-dressed people that look interest in the new spice and Kaid listened carefully. He¡¯s a good listener. The other person was easygoing and looked happy.


    .


    .


    When I said that I don¡¯t need anymore, we stood in line for fried snacks that could eaten in a bite. When I said that I¡¯ll have a bite, I ended up getting the whole thing. Then when I reached the moment my body would really grow worse from eating too much, he stopped. I wonder if this is the difference in insight or if he¡¯s just weird.


    Kaid gathered the trash and put them in the bin. When I told him that it was my work, he averted his gaze.


    ¡°Now then. We finished checking things and there¡¯s enough time until we have to go. Do you have anywhere in particr you want to go?¡±


    ¡°I do.¡±


    Maybe my answer was unexpected, since the gold opened wide. It¡¯s alright. Up until I said it, it was strange for me too.


    If someone saw us staring at each other absentmindedly, they wouldment that it looks stupid.


    What has been said can¡¯t be taken back. There¡¯s no need to, either.


    It¡¯s just a little quicker than I nned. Anyway, there are many days till the festival, so I need to muster up my courage and tell him.


    I have something I want to say. For those preparations, I want his help.


    ¡°Erm¡­¡­ where?¡±


    I ended upughing a little at his changed tone of speech. His eyes grew wider, then quickly narrowed. His eyebrows dropped and he bit his lips.


    The expression close to anger looked like that of a child about to cry.


    ¡°There are some things I want to buy, I don¡¯t know much, so can you help me?¡±


    ¡°Thing you want?¡±


    ¡°Yes, first, purple embroidery thread. The best I can get within my budget. Then a hair ornament. Red, with the best I can get within my budget. Next is a cigar. Mm¡­¡­ Heavy? Heavy-voured? The best I can get within my budget. Finally, alcohol of bitter taste, withthe best I can get within my budget.¡±


    He had a puzzled expression, but as I went on he probably understood. He covered his eyes and tilted his head downwards as if to bow.


    ¡°¡­¡­If you¡¯ll allow me, may I have permission to get them? That way, I can get the same things. ¡°


    Squeezing out a strained voice, I stopped making the same face.


    ¡°It¡¯s alright¡­¡­ It¡¯s the first time I earned money honestly. So buying¡­¡­ is the best. For me and for them, it¡¯s the most fitting.¡±


    It¡¯s the first time I¡¯m getting payment after working. A quarter of a month¡¯s wage, so it¡¯s not much. However, in a sense, it¡¯s the first present from me.


    To me who said that, Kaid barely lifted his head. There he looked somewhat exhausted, with a face like a hungry child, like a child that fell over, like a lost child, an undependable face. Also, as though he¡¯s looking for tomorrow, like a person looking for someone, like someone that picked up a lost good, he had such eyes.


    ¡°Then, at the least, please let me be with you on that day.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Yes. I also have something to say.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Something?¡±


    ¡°Yes, let¡¯s talk. And let¡¯s end. This time for sure, let us end properly.¡±


    .


    Helt.


    .


    .


    When I called him that, he bowed deeper than even that expected of a servant and said, ¡°Yes, mydy.¡±

 Chapter 11: The farewell, of you and me. — I

    <h4>Chapter 11: The farewell, of you and me. ¡ª I</h4>


    As the festival draws close enough that the whole schedule could be written on one hand, most of the guests gather.


    The rumoured lord of Darich is also one of them.


    We heard the stories, but everyone was overwhelmed as he was too amazing. ording to people who¡¯ve been here for a long time, this happens every year.


    First, even from far away, one could see that the carriage was nted, then when it approached it felt even more out of ce. The carriage was thrice as big as normal ones and the door was too wide. From that, a man whose face and neck could not be told apart appeared.


    He always was a giant of a man, but not this much. I could now understand the weight of the words, he gets bigger every year.


    .


    .


    .


    ¡°Amazing.¡±


    ¡°Indeed.¡±


    ¡°Truly.¡±


    At dinner, everyone¡¯s opinions were as one. Since servants couldn¡¯t say something explicit about their master¡¯s guests, only honest impressions were said.


    By the way, Joblyn tripped over the low door sill of the mansion. Since servants from Darich were not enough to help him up, not only did the servants of the mansion help but Kaid had to help too. It was a huge ordeal. Everyone¡¯s hearts were as one when we said that it¡¯s a relief nothing big happened.


    It¡¯s a relief that our master is light, we thought.


    I don¡¯t think Kaid is light at all, but the young man who raises cows back home evenined that helping a cow up was easier.


    .


    There was that greatmotion today, but that was all so we could say that the day passed safely. Receiving many guests from other ces, the mansion¡¯s staff had to abandon thex familial mood and everyone had to run about so that there won¡¯t be any problems.


    For the past few days, we could only copse onto our beds. Kaid too was everywhere, receiving guests and preparing for the banquet, so much that I wondered when he¡¯s getting his sleep.


    Then this day came in a sh.


    .


    .


    After a normal dinner, I declined everyone¡¯s offers and set out. Jasmine, who was talking about something to Samua and Tim while having dessert, panicked and packed the leftover cake.


    ¡°Wait, Shirley. If it¡¯s bathing, let¡¯s go together?¡±


    ¡°A whileter, I have business¡­¡­ I have a meeting.¡±


    ¡°A meeting?¡±


    ¡°Yes, it might gette, so please feel free to go to sleep ahead of me.¡±


    I bowed slightly to the three that looked puzzled and set out of the restaurant.


    .


    First, I returned to my room and changed my clothes from the working uniform to in clothes. I untied my hair as I looked at the mirror. I wonder if I¡¯m just imagining it. Lately, I feel that the colour has been changing slightly. Before, it had a fodder like colour, but now¡­¡­ it sometimes has a blonde tinge.


    After thinking a bit, I took out the blue ne. As I hung it around my neck, my hands shook terribly. While smiling bitterly, I tucked the ne I took great effort to put on underneath my clothes and clutched it with the clothes over it.


    I breathed deeply for some times and lifted my head.


    In the mirror, I had a very pathetic face.


    .


    .


    .


    So that I won¡¯t be found by anyone, I went around to the back of the mansion and disappeared into the forest. The surface was almost t, with the stream and the meadows gone.


    However, there still were some trees left. Though the birch tree where I made the promise with him is no longer there.


    Since there¡¯s a mountain behind the ce as well as tall walls, it might not have been neglected because the scenery couldn¡¯t be good. It can be seen from outside, but still such a remote ce like this isn¡¯t visited often.


    .


    .


    With the indicated location as my goal, I walked through the dark forest. The baggage in my hand made hard knocking sounds. I don¡¯t need a map. I¡¯m not that directionally challenged to get lost in this forest. Moreover, it¡¯s not the first time I came here. I wasn¡¯t let out often, but the ce inside the grounds was my garden, literally.


    As I silently walked on, I spotted a light up ahead.


    It was Kaid with antern.


    Amidst the ck hair that seemed to slip into the darkness, the glistening golden shade looked like that of a wolf keeping an eye on its prey. However, because he had his head down, his fringe was blocking his eyes, making it impossible to tell what he was looking at.


    He likely noticed that I arrived. With no signs of surprise, Kaid silently kneeled. Rather than that of a servant¡¯s, it felt like that of a retainers. I stared down at the head that was bowing down with his neck exposed.


    ¡°Helt¡­ no, should I call you Kaid?¡±


    ¡°Mydy is free to call me by how she pleases.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Here, I prefer Helt after all.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    The time period is that of when there still are people who haven¡¯t had dinner.


    It¡¯s a miracle that he could spare some time in this period. ¡­¡­No, it¡¯s not a miracle. He worked hard. It was he who decided on the time and ce, but even so I feel a little sorry.


    ¡°Buried here?¡±


    ¡°No, pleasee this way.¡±


    Receiving the sentence that did not have a subject without any difficulty, Kaid silently got up. He headed further into the forest, with me following behind silently. The scent of the dirt wet with evening dew mixed with the trees and created a terribly apprehensive mood.


    I don¡¯t think too much time passed until we arrived.


    When we arrived at the destination, he silently got out of my field of vision. I couldn¡¯t follow up. In my vision that only had his waist, there were now five stones.


    I could somehow tell. Maybe it¡¯s because it¡¯s me.


    I breathed in. I never thought that such a ce existed in this world.


    At a nce, they¡¯re just stones. Nothing engraved in them, just stones of the same size ced at regr intervals. It looked unnatural and showed that someone ced them there, but that was all.


    Still, I could tell.


    These are our graves.


    .


    .


    Next to the stone farthest to the right, there was arge package. Cleaning tools, perhaps.


    Having noticed my gaze, Kaid opened that package. Then shone thentern light onto its contents.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Me?¡±


    There was a single picture.


    The foolish, ignorant me of the old days was smiling happily.


    ¡°These are gifts from Carolina, Cecil, as well as dozens more.¡±


    Beneath the the picture, there were flowers, nes, gloves, handkerchiefs and much much more. There¡¯s only the light from thentern, yet it felt like it was bright like day because the scene was too unexpected.


    ¡°They were those that had already left or were chased out of the mansion. However, after that, they all returned here from all over the ce and asked me to let them work here. That they¡¯ll watch me.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Watch?¡±


    ¡°That if I be like the previous lord, that they¡¯ll never forgive me¡­ after deceiving, betraying and killing mydy, if that death was meaningless, they will kill me. That¡¯s what everyone said. ¡®We can¡¯t forgive the previous lord. Thank you for saving Laius. However, even if we die, we can¡¯t forgive you for deceiving ourdy,¡¯ they said.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­You¡¯re different from my family.¡±


    ¡°I also agree with them. If I became like the previous rulers before I realised it, they would tell me. Then, I would move the location of this grave and kill myself there.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t say a thing. I didn¡¯t know what to say. Then, he truly is alone.


    Amidst the offerings, there was a letter. When I picked it up and looked at the back, there was Caron¡¯s name.


    I grabbed it with both hands and brought to my forehead as if in prayer. Ah, Caron Caron, no, Caron. A kind person like you can¡¯t say that. You can¡¯t do that.


    .


    .


    .


    To me who was not moving while clutching the letter in my hands, he softly spoke to me.


    ¡°¡­¡­It¡¯s in the order of age from the left.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Thank you. I didn¡¯t think that there would be graves.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Officially, you¡¯ve been abandoned in the ins.¡±


    ¡°Yes. That¡¯s what I heard.¡±


    I unwrapped my baggage and ced a small bottle of alcohol on the grave at the left.


    Apparently it¡¯s bitter, strong and delicious. Within my budget, I could only get a bottle smaller than the size of my palm, but grandmother had always been saying that grandfather should consider the age and drink less, so this may be a good opportunity.


    On the next grave, embroidery thread.


    Since it¡¯s pronounced and vivid, it may be too gaudy. However, the colour is so pretty, so I¡¯m sure grandmother who like purple can use it well.


    On the next grave, a cigar.


    I¡¯m sorry, father. I only know that it feels smoky and even after exnations I couldn¡¯t get what it meant by heavy or light. Still, the people at the store were kind and told me this one would be good for people who like heavy tastes and sold me one. So please forgive me with just one. If I bought two, I wouldn¡¯t have been able to buy mother¡¯s hair ornament.


    On the next grave, a hair ornament.


    It¡¯s a red hair ornament in the shape of a flower, as you liked red flowers, mother. Apparently the shape is that of a rare flower that blooms in a country to the east. I think it will go well with your beautiful blonde hair. It may be a ¡®tawdry essory¡¯ that mother dislikes, but I¡¯m sorry. If I spent more, I wouldn¡¯t have been able to buy a cigar for father.


    .


    I brought my hands together and closed my eyes.


    They¡¯re people whomitted unforgivable acts. Undoubtedly, even praying for their happiness in the next world would not be allowed. But, I wonder. I wonder if I will be allowed to pray as a daughter, as family.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I camete. ¡­¡­To be honest, I never nned oning here. Kaina¡­¡­ the ce I grew up is called Kaina and there¡¯s a small monastery in a neighbouring vige. I had been nning on living there and ending my life there¡­¡­¡­¡­ However, now I am d that I could visit these graves. Grandfather, grandmother, father, mother. Please, do not grow wrathful. Please, pass on without grudges, without cing curses, without resentment. If, if we cannot be forgiven in any way, please, curse me for living on alone. Please curse me. Please. Then one day, when I die, please take me with you to hell. Then let us end the nightmare of Laius.¡±


    The rustling of the leaves in the night wind felt as though it was almost screaming. I wonder how many people cried for our deaths. There were countless people who shed tears of joy at our deaths. There really might have been none. Maybe only the nts of this mansion weeped for us. Or maybe they too resent us for burning.


    I don¡¯t know.


    Yet again, all this time, I don¡¯t know.


    .


    The reason why I am here, how I should go on.


    .


    All this time, I don¡¯t know.


    What I should do, what I should not do. In the first ce, am I even allowed to think? There¡¯s no pardon for my life, but to still live on.


    There were fun things.


    But when there are thoughts of happiness or fortune, someone said that such happiness exists thanks to the lord. Someone said it¡¯s thanks to the cruel previous lord¡¯s death. That the death was a wee thing, that it should havee quicker. That is was thanks to the lord.


    Yes, that is correct. Laius suffered because of us. So what they say are all correct, not wrong at all. Yet it was painful. It was unforgivable, but it was painful and unbearable, that my heart wandered. Bewildered, it kept wandering for fifteen years. Even after fifteen years, I still don¡¯t know.


    To live on by forgetting everything, I was too sinful.


    To live on by cursing everything, my crimes were too heavy.


    To live on by loving everything, the love was too harsh.


    .


    The heart that did not yet find its life could no longer hold it in after finally arriving at their graves.


    I hid my face and hung my head. An unbearable trembling voice prated through the beautiful melody of the night wind. But I could¡¯t stop.


    ¡°I am sorry, I love them. Neither I nor they can be forgiven. But I still love them. I love my family. I will not change, I am sorry, I cannot change. I do know that they cannot be forgiven. Yet, I cannot bring myself to dislike them. I cannot hate them. ¡­¡­They¡¯re, my mother. My father, my grandfather, my grandmother. I am sorry, forgive me, I am sorry. I love them, I am sorry, I am sorry¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­There may be people who will criticise not loving your family, but there aren¡¯t any who will denounce you for loving your family. You don¡¯t have to beg forgiveness for that. They¡¯re your family. You can love them. What sin is loving one¡¯s family? You don¡¯t have cry about that. What¡¯s wrong with loving family, what is there to criticise? It¡¯s alright, it¡¯s alright, mydy.¡±


    In the midst of not being able to cry for them, how can he forgive me?


    I cannot feel sadness. There was no anger to begin with. To begin with, am I pardoned to feel? Not even to feel pleasure, but feel things that those that died by our hands can no longer have the opportunity to feel?


    That¡¯s what I think, yet it does not stop. As if something broke, the pouring tears overflowed out of the hands that hid my face.


    .


    ¡°If it displeases you, please push me away¡­¡­¡­¡­ please excuse me.¡±


    .


    Before I could understand that, the curtains of night that I thought had already fallen fell again.


    It was a terribly warm night.


    .


    .


    .


    Holding my head and my waist, embracing me in his chest, he was too vulnerable. What if I stabbed a knife into his chest, there was no room to think that.


    His body heat warmed me. A long time ago, I embraced his head before, but now even if I use my whole body I can¡¯t embrace him. I couldn¡¯t ce my hands on his wide back, so I leaned my forehead against him while hiding my face.


    I wonder how long it has been since I was embraced by someone like this. I don¡¯t remember. I pushed away everyone in this life. The people who tried to hug me all looked dejected. I¡¯m sorry, and that was all I could say. They¡¯re not bad at all, but I hurt them.


    I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t know. I still don¡¯t know.


    How I should have lived. The correct way to live. The way to atone, how I should live, how I could live without hurting anyone from my life. What I should have done with this life. What I should have thrown away, what I should not get. All this time, without knowing, I could barely n to stubbornly live on.


    Certainly, no matter how many lives I have, I¡¯ll be foolish. Rather, something might have changed if I was born as apletely different person. But I was born as me. Foolish, unwise, wandering and hesitating for fifteen years, not knowing life, not growing up and still wandering, but ending up in his arms. Enveloped by the warmth, I desperately tried to suppress the emotions that welled up. I swallowed my sobs, hid my teas and clenched my teeth so that I would stop shaking.


    No. This isn¡¯t what I¡¯m here for. I¡¯m not here to weep and beforted.


    When I lightly pressed his chest, he gently pulled away and kneeled as he hung his head. I too kneeled in front of him.


    After sniffing and wiping away my tears, I could finally let out a decent sound.


    .


    ¡°Helt, what you did was right. You did not do anything wrong as the next lord. Deceiving us and killing us all to cut it off.¡±


    ¡°I-¡±


    ¡°However, you did one thing wrong.¡±


    He raised his head as if he snapped.


    .


    ¡°You have only one fault. ¡­¡­¡­¡­You did not trust me.¡±


    .


    Your fault killed me.


    And your fault saved Laius.


    .


    .


    So, certainly, that too is right.


    .


    .


    .


    When I saw the glistening golden shade, a tear fell again. However, this time, I didn¡¯t weep like a child. It wasn¡¯t a tear that shook the body with emotion. It was as though all the emotions in me was condensed into a single grain, falling down and bursting open on the ground.


    ¡°You had no need to lie. You did not need to it. Just one sentence, one sentence would have been enough. That was all. I was a savage who abandoned her family. ¡­¡­Did you know too? I had a marriage arranged by my parents. I was to marry upon turning eighteen. Yet I said I want to go to your homnd¡­¡­ I was a woman who said that I wanted to get out of the house with you. I am the daughter of the people who were called devils, so I am beast that abandons her parent, her family. I love them, but I am cannot live for them. I am but a girl who only thinks of herself. So, with one phrase, I would have helped you kill my family. ¡­¡­¡­Since I am a devil.¡±


    His mouth opened slightly and closed again. He is lost for words.


    Today, for me who searched for the words for this day, they all came together.


    ¡°However, now you should know. If I had been left alive in any way, the embers would remain. No matter how much I struggled, our deaths would have been the only way for Laius to revive. If I was alive, not only would I have dragged you down, but have inflicted a fatal wound on you. That¡¯s how hated we are. We were wless evil. So that would have been useless. You did the right thing. Laius could not survive another period of chaos and turmoil. It was us that turned Laius into a ce that cannot be rebuilt while risking fire. You saved Laius from ruin. It was my fault that we could only meet like that. If I were smarter and knew the world, if I tried¡­¡­ surely, we could have met in a different way. Yet, once we met like that¡­¡­ there was only that end waiting for me.¡±


    It must having been scary. It must have been terrifying.


    He knew better than anyone that just a small change could lead to losing something. He didn¡¯t say anything to me. He couldn¡¯t. That was all my fault.


    He was three years younger than me, fourteen years old. Yet for him who was risking his own life, burdening everything of Laius, could there have been someone to tell everything, much less me? There was no way he would ask for help from a girl that did not try to think about anything. Ah, that too is my fault.


    .


    ¡°I also lied.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t know. I deceived you cruelly and betrayed everyone. But you did not-¡±


    I lied.


    A horrible lie. ¡­¡­A cruel lie.


    .


    I kept the most important thing a lie.


    .


    ¡°I am sorry, Helt, I lied. I told you that I wanted to go to your homnd, but I abandoned that path. I am a liar.¡±


    I overheard the wardens at the prison.


    That Helt was nning on putting me into a monastery in his homnd. The wardens were uneasy about the new young lord. Bewitched by ¡®the Treasure Flower¡¯, They chatted. The reaction of the wardens were the reaction of the people.


    Distrustful of lords, they could not believe in anything. So much that they would even be skeptical of their saviours.


    .


    I would be lying if I say that I was not angry. If I say that I did not feel sad, depraved, mortified nor miserable, those are all lies.


    I was angry at being betrayed. I felt sad, depraved, mortified and miserable. I never wanted to see his face again, nor did I want to hear his voice again.


    Yet, when I met him, it made me feel nostalgic.


    That was even more wretched. I felt so miserable and embarrassed that I wanted to die. So I relied on death to end me.


    ¡°It was me who created that end. Yet I made you bear that end. I am sorry, Helt, I did not mean to hurt you for fifteen years. I am not angry. I never med you. No one resents you. Of course, I too. So, Helt, you can be happy. No, you must be happy. Laius too must be a happy ce. I am sorry. I ended up inflicting pain on you.¡±


    I learned it after meeting him again.


    Helt was not non-existent. Helt was there. Right inside Kaid.


    I loved him. He was a little mean yet so warm. I really loved him.


    ¡°Mydy, you have nothing to apologise about. I deceived you. I am a hideous criminal. You, the victim, does not need to apologise at all. Not having told you was my own weakness. I should have hung myself, yet I ced that on you. So-¡±


    ¡°Hey, Helt, tell me one thing.¡±


    I cut him off.


    ¡°Did you like me?¡±


    I could tell from how he drew his breath. And by how the golden shade did not dart about.


    That was enough proof of the truth.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­I know that our positions were too different, but, you have my heartfelt love.¡±


    My body trembled. From the deepest part of my heart, delight welled up.


    ¡°Same goes for me, Helt, I truly loved you. It was the first time I liked someone. Now, I am d that it was you.¡±


    Even though I told him so, his expression was still stony. I probably am making the same face.


    .


    ¡°So¡­¡­ let us say farewell properly.¡±


    .


    It was love that began with lies. At the least, I want it to end with truth.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    He was about to say something, but he shut his mouth and hung his head.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­I understand, mydy.¡±


    I made a bitter smile at the appearance. Kneeling and bowing when a couple is breaking, really.


    ¡°Helt, stand up. Let us talk on equal grounds. You may speak like Kaid.¡±


    ¡°I had been trying my best to speak to mydy like that, yet she says a cruel thing.¡±


    ¡°Helt.¡±


    ¡°If it¡¯s Helt, then this is not problematic.¡±


    Well, that¡¯s true, but still.


    When he stood up, he really was tall. Beyond his head, the golden shade, I could see the white moon.


    For us that dated in secret, it was only during the daytime that we could be together. Most likely, the most romantic moment should be now. Since that is our farewell, I couldn¡¯t help but smile bitterly.


    ¡°¡­¡­What will you be doing afterwards?¡±


    ¡°As nned, I will be a nun. Until now, I had been praying only for Laius¡¯s future, but from now I will pray for your happiness too.¡±


    ¡°Shall I move the graves? I am sure that they will be happier that way. At least, better than my visits¡­¡­ I only spray alcohol haphazardly.¡±


    I blinked my eyes at the unexpected proposal.


    I am thankful for that, but is that alright, I wonder.


    ¡°I was thinking of moving them when I step down from my office. ¡­¡­However, I have one thing I would like you to forgive.¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°Can you leave your grave to me?¡±


    His gaze passed me and was looking at the stone at the farthest end.


    ¡°Just that?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­You are not displeased? You will be split from your family.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s fine¡­¡­ this is a veryte question, but the body underneath, does it have a head?¡±


    ¡°Both parts were buried properly.¡±


    Then as though he remembered something, he turned his head. When I snooped about below him, he silently stared up and confessed.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­I kept a tuft of your hair.¡±


    ¡°Eh, no way, I did not take a bath then, not to mention my hair was charred! Ah, wash it, wash it and then hold it!¡±


    ¡°Is that the problem?¡±


    ¡°Because¡­¡­¡±


    I don¡¯t know anyone that would be happy from someone that they like having their dirty hair. Moreover, that was right after I was beheaded, so it must be blood-soaked. ¡­¡­Considering that, I wonder if he would have washed it. If he has them as they were, I really will cry a bit.


    .


    .


    When our gazes met, it felt awkward and we smiled bitterly. Before, when our eyes met we smiled happily, but now there are only bitter smiles.


    ¡°Helt, for everything, thank you very much.¡±


    I was going to say sorry, but if I say it once it will drag onto a battle. Also, I could see that there would no winner, so I swallowed that back in.


    ¡°Yes¡­¡­ I too¡­¡­ mydy, please have proper meals. No one will get angry even if you eat until you are full.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­I will consider it.¡±


    When I held out my hand, arge hand sped it. Both were shaking, but we ignored it.


    ¡°¡­¡­Mydy.¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°If, if I also have another life, then once again¡­¡­ no, for the first time, may I confess to you?¡±¡±


    I blinked my eyes, but it didn¡¯t seem like a joke.


    The force grabbing my hand grew stronger.


    ¡°I cannot vouch if the answer then will be ¡®yes,¡¯ though?¡±


    When I teased him a bit, he smiled slightly.


    It was the first time I saw his soft smile in this life.


    ¡°I will give it my all to convince you.¡±


    ¡°Oh, please go easy on-¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°At least let me say everything.¡±


    We let each others¡¯ hands go. Our fingers touched until the end and I formed a bitter smile at how there still were lingering feelings. There was still some regret left. But it¡¯s not chagrin.


    It¡¯d be nice if we could part ways. How nice it would be able to brightly smile so. To call it a past, it is too close, and to call it fate, there¡¯s too much love.


    We both were bothersome. We were too cowardly to have our ways by force, but too persistent to reluctantly ept it. He was my first love, so I did not know. It¡¯s nice that I learned before I became a phantom.


    As our hands parted, our nails cked onest time.


    .


    ¡°Farewell, Helt.¡±


    ¡°Farewell, mydy.¡±


    .


    In our ce, only the trees were crying.

 Chapter 12: The farewell, of you and me. — II

    <h4>Chapter 12: The farewell, of you and me. ¡ª II</h4>


    As we were about to go, the rustling sound of someone moving through the bush came into our ears. Kaid stood in front of me andid a hand on his sword.


    The flickering light from thentern erged the shadow.


    ¡°Master!¡±


    It was Caron who came. Panicking greatly, she did not care that there were leaves in her hair.


    She was about to say something in her panic, but seeing me behind Kaid her eyes opened wide.


    ¡°Master, no matter how Shirley is simr to her, this is inexcusable.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll hear itter. More importantly, what happened?¡±


    shing her eyes, Caron looked shocked as she was urged to talk.


    ¡°It looks like there was poison in the servants¡¯ meals, and Tim is,¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    Kaid¡¯s voice quickly grew sharp.


    How, did that. I was just having dinner with them.


    ¡°It seems like there was some in the confectionery Tim had.¡±


    ¡°His condition?¡±


    ¡°We made him spit it out and took him to the infirmary. It¡¯s not serious, but¡­¡­ there is an uproar that Samua might have put it in.¡±


    We unintentionally exchanged nces.


    ¡°At first, we assumed that it was the cook, but then all the food was poisoned. Then, the person closest is¡­¡­¡±


    Indeed, as Tim was being guided by Samua, Samua was with him the most. They were often together in meals too, but that doesn¡¯t mean he¡¯s the one.


    While shouting, we exited the forest at a speed that was close to running. Themotion had spread already and people from other fiefdoms were seizing and interrogating the servants of the mansion.


    Kaid started clicking his tongue.


    ¡°Sorry, I¡¯ll go ahead. Carolina, please take of Shirley.¡±


    ¡°All right, sir.¡±


    Without even checking that we were being respectful, Kaid kept running. From here and there, there were voices calling for Kaid.


    As I stared nkly, Caron gently patted my back.


    ¡°You should go to the infirmary. Jasmine copsed from exhaustion.¡±


    ¡°Y-Yes.¡±


    I started running as if to repel the ground. Behind me, Caron sounded surprised but I had no room to look back. However, before and now, I had no experience in sprinting like this so my speed fell quickly but I did not stop and kept running.


    .


    .


    While nursing my sides, I went into the infirmary. Of the six beds, the one furthest inside and the one opposite that had curtains drawn shut over them.


    I approached the doctor who was scrutinising the diagnosis.


    ¡°Doctor, Tim and Jasmine,¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s alright, so no need toe running with such a serious expression. Don¡¯t you copse too and increase my work.¡±


    The woman doctor who was in her mid-forties adjusted her thick sses and stopped looking at the diagnosis.


    ¡°For Tim, Samua made him spit it out immediately and the poison was not lethal so his condition should improve quickly. Jasmine¡­¡­ had tranquillisers, but oh would you look at that, she¡¯s up again. Looks like medicine won¡¯t work if she¡¯s that worked up¡­¡­ I wonder if she woke up from hearing us talk. You¡¯re her roommate. Go soothe her please.¡±


    There were moans from the other side of the curtain, so I hastily entered.


    ¡°Jasmine, it¡¯s Shirley. I¡¯ming in.¡±


    When I went in, there was a very haggard Jasmine, so haggard that I almost suspected that she is not the same person I had been talking to just some time ago. She tried to get up, but possibly because her body wasn¡¯t moving well, my elbows she was holding onto trembled greatly.


    As I offered my body to support her, my elbows were clenched tightly and almost painfully.


    ¡°Tim, Tim, blood, spat blood, blood, his palms, were red, and,¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s alright, it¡¯s alright. The doctor said that he should be fine since he was made to spit it out quickly. It¡¯s fine.¡±


    ¡°Samua, it¡¯s not him.¡±


    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s what I think too.¡±


    The eyes that always glittered were clouded with tears.


    ¡°He said it was the first time he had a junior, he was really happy. That he finally became a proper butler, getting all excited even though he was quite fresh too. I¡¯ll teach him lots, he said.¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°When Tim spat blood, he moved faster than anyone.¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°Even after Tim got poisoned, even though he shouldn¡¯t have because of the toxin he didn¡¯t care and put his fingers in Tim¡¯s throat to make him vomit.¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not Samua¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah. I think so too. Since, Samua is a good person. He¡¯s very nice, so it¡¯s definitely not him.¡±


    ¡°His tongue slips often¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Yeah, that¡¯s true.¡±


    ¡°But that¡¯s because I¡¯ve been watching him properly, really, it¡¯s not Samua. It¡¯s not the head chef either. Because, he always, looks after everyone, saying that the food should be sweetened for this person, or saying that this person should have more vegetables since he only has meat.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡­ Not him. It¡¯s definitely not him. So Jasmine, you should sleep and rest a bit.¡±


    She forced herself up. Jasmine¡¯s eyes were nk. However, from those eyes, tears fell and desperately croaked out some words. She¡¯s not someone to cry like this.


    Someone, someone made her cry. Someone used a terrible method to make her cry.


    Rage grew in me. The feelings that were rusted started heating up slowly like boiling water.


    ¡°The perpetrator, I¡¯ll definitely catch the person¡­¡­ and I¡¯ll make the person grovel in front of Samua and Tim and the head chef, so, so,¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡­ but if Samua returns and sees that you¡¯re so worn, he¡¯ll be very worried. So you should sleep a bit. Then when we can, let¡¯s find the perpetrator together, okay?¡±


    After I rubbed her stiff body and gentlyid her on the bed, her eyelids started closing, definitely from fatigue. From the eyes that blinked many times, tears fell.


    Watching meid a nket over her, Jasmine smiled slightly.


    ¡°¡­¡­Fufu, somehow, it feels strange.¡±


    ¡°Eh?¡±


    ¡°Shirley¡¯s talking a lot¡­¡­. it feels like a dream¡­¡­ and you¡¯re like an older sister¡­¡­forting, Shirley, you¡¯re very wonderful¡­¡­¡­¡­¡±


    With words that made me blush, Jasmine went off to sleep, making me feel relieved. I gently loosened the fingers that were clutching my sleeve and tucked them under the sheets.


    I confirmed that she was asleep, but for some reason I sat down on the seat right there.


    Currently, there are peopleing from various ces. So entering ces is under stricter control. It¡¯s the servant¡¯s dining hall on top of that, so people other than staff members can¡¯t enter. Since the ce won¡¯t cause much trouble it will inevitably end up there.


    However, the people working at the mansion are hired after thorough investigation. As a matter of fact, it would be preposterous to think that anyone rted to people executed fifteen years ago would be hired. Moreover, what would poisoning Tim achieve? Was it indiscriminate? Then that¡¯s even more mysterious.


    Maybe it¡¯s just to tarnish Kaid¡¯s reputation.


    I don¡¯t know.


    I pressed my forehead and pondered.


    I unconsciously rubbed the ne I received from Jasmine. Blue hyacinth. Unchanging, ¡°__¡±. Cecil knew. Adele knew as well, and what if there¡¯s a suicide attack on Kaid from tightly grasping the hyacinth.


    Unchanging¡­¡­ unchanging¡­¡­ unchanging?


    With a ng I stood up.


    As I dashed out of the curtain, the doctor let out a yelp. I started running as I shouted an apology. People who saw me looked on curiously, but I had no time for them.


    I ran in a straight line with Kaid as the destination.


    .


    .


    .


    However, Kaid was running about here and there so I couldn¡¯t find him. In the end, I found Caron and asked her to deliver a message to him.


    After I waited a while in the hallway, rushed footsteps were heard.


    .


    .


    ¡°Shirley.¡±


    ¡°Master, I¡¯m sorry in this urgent time. I have something I must tell you.¡±


    ¡°Ahh, I got it. Carolina, tell others that I¡¯m in the office.¡±


    ¡°Understood, sir. I¡¯ll prepare tea and some snacks. As you had not had dinner yet, master.¡±


    After lightly bowing to Caron who had a strange expression, Kaid and I went into the room with tea leaves for two people. Inside, there were documents strewn about all over the floor. There was no time to pick them up.


    Kaid copsed into the chair and scratched his head. After a long sigh, he started making tea.


    ¡°Mydy, what is it that you¡¯d like to talk about?¡±


    ¡°I can only say that the change in stance is superb, but anyhow¡­¡­ Kaid, I am yourdy, yes?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Or so I believe with confidence.¡±


    To Kaid who frowned as if to ask what I am talking about in this time, I handed him a cup of tea and got one for myself before sitting down in front of him.


    ¡°I cannot ascertain that there are not people who have memories of the past like me.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­That, is¡­¡­¡­¡­ Then, even after thinking through about the current causal rtionships, it still is not certain. The person would be¡­¡­ around fifteen?¡±


    ¡°I believe so.¡±


    ¡°Mydy, is there anything special, evidence, about people with past memories?¡±


    Evidence. I wonder if there was something like that.


    As I pondered, Kaid stared at me with a serious expression. For sure, I need something. As nothing can be gained from looking at the current causal rtionships, all the teenagers currently hired are all suspect.


    ¡°¡­¡­Come to think of it, I recall that the moles are on the same spot.¡±


    ¡°Moles?¡±


    Yes, moles. I had not checked my whole body so I cannot be sure though, I added. Kaid observed me for a while and raised his voice in realisation, so I got a bit startled.


    ¡°On the back of your neck.¡±


    ¡°On my groin.¡±


    Silence fell for a while.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­There¡¯s one on the back of my neck?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­There¡¯s one on your groin?¡±


    I felt a little shocked since he told me a ce I could not see, but then it was me who told him a ce he never saw.


    Kaid lightly cleared his throat.


    ¡°If two ces match, then that¡¯s somewhat credible¡­¡­ Mydy, do you know the location of the moles of people you were rted to?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Don¡¯t ask for the impossible. To begin with, I rarely were rted with anyone. Father did not seem to want me to greet guests. The only people who were rted often enough to know the location of my moles were my family, you, Wil and his father.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Ah, Wilfred.¡±


    Upon hearing the name of my previous fianc¨¦, this time I cleared my throat.


    ¡°Wilfred, his moles¡­¡­ there weren¡¯t many that were in noticeable ces.¡±


    ¡°Indeed. Let¡¯s think about thatter. Anyhow, we will know once we catch the person who poisoned Tim¡¯s food.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Yes.¡±


    It¡¯s not Samua. Kaid too seemed to be sure of that, so I felt relieved.


    .


    From the silence that came after the conversation ended, I felt restless. I told him what I wanted, so I¡¯ll return quickly after I finish the tea.


    I want to visit Jasmine again and if he¡¯s alright I want to see Tim and if possible I want to see Samua too.


    Kaid too couldn¡¯t sit still. He twiddled his fingers and had some tea.


    I¡¯ll drink it too. Then I¡¯ll go quickly.


    When I thought that and brought the cup to my lips, Kaid¡¯s fist came swinging at me.


    .


    .


    For a while, I didn¡¯t realise what was happening.


    Before the pain, the heat and the numbness came. The hot numbness assaulted my cheek and my hand.


    Flying to the other side of the room, the cup shattered with a great sound. The tea set that still had content was thrown to the floor and shattered.


    Without thinking to nurse my hurting cheek and hand, I stared at Kaid.


    Kaid, who hit me with an awkward stance, smiled gently like a child that woke up from a nightmare.


    .


    .


    Retch.


    A very dull and sticky sound came.


    A red droplet from Kaidnded on my cheek.


    From Kaid who quickly covered his mouth and turned his head great amounts of blood came pouring out from his mouth.


    ¡°Kai, Kai, d.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t move my limbs. I forced myself to crawl to approach Kaid, but Kaid too did the same to get away from me.


    ¡°Don¡¯t,e¡­¡­!¡±


    But then, Kaid¡¯s movement halted for a moment. Then he stretched out his clean and diligently wiped away the drop of blood on my cheek.


    After smiling faintly as if in relief, the red colour that came in streams burst out in a torrent this time.


    ¡°S-Somebody, somebody, the doctor, somebody!¡±


    ¡°Master, what is this noise¡ª¡ª Master!¡±


    As I started running, people came running in at the same time. They all held their breath at the horrible scene.


    ¡°Master!¡±


    ¡°Someone, go to the infirmary! Quickly! Don¡¯t touch the blood if possibly!¡±


    ¡°Master, please hold on, master!¡±


    ¡°Vomit out everything, please, quickly!¡±


    ¡°Master, master!¡±


    People gradually came flooding into the room. Every time, I had to retreat to the wall.


    ¡°What happened with the poison tasting!¡±


    ¡°It always done right before the food was served!¡±


    ¡°What about the dishes!?¡±


    ¡°They were cleaned before usage!¡±


    One of the people who was often with Kaid approached me with a fierce countenance.


    ¡°You bastaaaaaaaaaaard!¡±


    ¡°Wait! It¡¯s not certain that it¡¯s that girl yet!¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t, don¡¯t get violent!¡±


    By the man, whose eyes shed like those of wolves, who shouted so loud that almost all his teeth were visible, I was seized by the cor and swung. Caron and other grabbed onto his arms and separated me from him.


    Banged against the wall, I copsed and crouched down. Through my dishevelled hair, between the people who were frantically shouting, I could see Kaid.


    Maybe there was nothing more to vomit, as his body was lying still in the blood as if it would float away into the sky.


    The world is red. Long time ago, I lost everything inside the red shade. That red colour is dyeing thisnd again. Even though it¡¯s not that hot, even though it¡¯s cold enough for the body lose itsplexion.


    That redness, again.


    ¡°No¡­¡­¡­¡­¡±


    The hand I stretched out shook and there was no strength in my body.


    Past the person that was trying to make him vomit without minding their hands getting dirty, a thin golden light saw me and slowly stretched his fingers towards me.


    Those fingers too fell into the sea of blood.


    ¡°No¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Get up, get up you bastard, what did you do to master¡­¡­ oi,¡±


    A confused voice came out from the man who approached again after tearing himself away from Caron and others.


    ¡°No¡­¡­¡±


    The family I was chatting with about the tea and snacks for tomorrow.


    The mansion that was like an ivory person.


    The beautifully kept garden.


    The person I truly loved.


    Disappeared into the redness.


    The redness, that redness.


    .


    It was taking him too.


    .


    .


    I touched the ce he wiped with a trembling hand. I wed at myself with my nails, yet it did not hurt a bit. It did not hurt, yet it wasn¡¯t a dream. It¡¯s too much.


    No, not the redness, not that redness.


    It didn¡¯t hurt, yet,


    .


    ¡°Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!¡±


    .


    The red shade hurts.

 Chapter 13: The farewell, of you and me. — III

    <h4>Chapter 13: The farewell, of you and me. ¡ª III</h4>


    The man who had been grabbing me by the cor just a while ago was now confusedly holding me in his arms as I cried deliriously. Even as I was dragged outside the room, my screams did not stop. These weren¡¯t words. These were more primal than the cries of beasts. Just roars that projected motion onto the world.


    ¡°It really isn¡¯t that girl!?¡±


    ¡°Tell me! You should have the antidote!¡±


    ¡°Look for the perpetrator! There should be the antidote there!¡±


    My dishevelled hair clung onto my skin, attached in a soggy state. I copsed against the wall, crouching down as I was at my wits¡¯ end.


    ¡°Antidote¡­¡­¡±


    Amidst the thought that was shing with red, that word resonated.


    If there¡¯s the antidote, Kaid can live. Kaid won¡¯t disappear. Helt won¡¯t die. Helt won¡¯t be dragged into the red shade.


    ¡°Moles.¡±


    Moles. Remember. Even if I don¡¯t remember things in the past, I have to smash through my memories and dig it out.


    Murmuring while I scratching at my face and hair, I¡¯ll look like a lunatic to anyone. I¡¯m fine with being a madwoman. I have asserted many times that I¡¯m insane. Even if that its baseless madness, I don¡¯t care. If that means Kaid won¡¯t die, anything is alright.


    Father, on the right earlobe.


    Helt smiles.


    Mother, on the neck.


    Helt smiles.


    Grandfather, on the left cheek.


    Helt teases me slightly.


    Grandmother, by the mouth.


    Helt smiles.


    Every time I try to think of the past, Helt is smiling in my memories. Stop. Don¡¯t appear. Please, so that the you of now won¡¯t die.


    However, I couldn¡¯t do anything. Since, most of my world had been given to me by father, I couldn¡¯t remember much. Amidst that, my first love upied most of those memories.


    ¡°Moles¡­¡­ moles¡­¡­¡±


    I don¡¯t know Wil¡¯s father. I don¡¯t remember much about Wil either. To begin with, I didn¡¯t meet him often.


    He visited once a month, where we had tea and took a stroll in the garden.


    ¡°His lordship is calling for you.¡±


    Saying that, he came to fetch me as I didn¡¯t appear at the tea party.


    ¡°Come on, my princess. Please take my hand.¡±


    I reluctantly took the hand that was stretched out.


    ¡°Shirley, you should rest a bit. Okay? It¡¯s alright, so please, rest a bit.¡±


    I raised my head in response to Caron¡¯s voice which was tearing up.


    When I looked to my side, the man who brought me out of the room was bending down and reaching a hand out. On his chest, I saw a strap holding a knife.


    The hand he held out was bare. In his pocket, there was a glove dyed red from blood.


    Glove. Moles. Glove. Moles.


    I saw moles in a gap from a glove.


    .


    On Wil, and on someone else. I saw them.


    Well-mannered, has attractive smile, is loved by everyone, does not make a sour face at boring work, rather even volunteering to do them.


    I saw them on the boy who was like Helt.


    .


    .


    ¡°¡­¡­Tim.¡±


    ¡°Eh?¡±


    ¡°Tim has it.¡±


    I rammed into the man with all my strength, taking the knife and running out like that.


    There were many voices calling me. However, my feet did not stop. Even my hearing seemed to be filled with red, as if my ears were submerged in red water. The sounds were covered and did note into my head very well.


    This isn¡¯t that day. The mansion has burned down, my family whose heads were rolling are now asleep under the graves that he made. They¡¯re asleep with me.


    Yet everything is red. Eyes, sounds, thoughts, everything was scorched red.


    On my way, I crossed paths with the doctors who were heading to Kaid. They were shouting something, but I couldn¡¯t tell what the sounds were.


    Thoughts and limits, they were all bring painted red. I had never ran this long. I had never ran this fast. At the speed that I would definitely trip over after I return to my senses, I ran.


    .


    .


    I ran back into the infirmary that I had just rushed out of. Maybe because they all went to Kaid¡¯s side, there were no doctors nor assistants. The curtains closest to the front were still drawn shut.


    The difference was that the curtains inside were pulled open, with Tim who looked pale was standing in front of an open window with a thin smile.


    ¡°That was fast. Did he die?¡±


    ¡°Give me the antidote.¡±


    Seeing me take a step forth with the knife grasped tightly in my hand, Tim frowned displeasedly.


    ¡°The poison is for killing bears, so a person should die quickly.¡±


    ¡°Give me the antidote.¡±


    ¡°I would have thought it would kill wolves quickly too¡­¡­ I had a lot of trouble trying to dilute the smell and taste.¡±


    ¡°Wilfred Alcott!¡±


    ¡°Scary, don¡¯t get angry. I don¡¯t have anything like that.¡±


    Tim, no Wilfred put on an inhumane smile. The hand that he brought to his mouth was ungloved and the sleeves were unbuttoned, maybe done so to treat him. Wilfred rubbed the moles on that, possibly subconsciously.


    In that expression, there was no trace of Tim. There was not even the appearance of the Wilfred I know. However, I could tell from his speech.


    How he breaths, how he takes intervals before the next words. Such small things that couldn¡¯t be faked, things so petty that it¡¯s just habitual.


    .


    ¡°If it meant killing him, I didn¡¯t care if I would die as well. So I didn¡¯t bring anything like that from the beginning.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­You¡¯re lying.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s true. It should have been instantaneous, but if I did have that and he lives, I¡¯d hate that, you know? For importantly.¡±


    His eyes narrowed and he pointed a finger from his untanned hand at me.


    ¡°You¡¯re turning your de against the wrong person. Even an ignorant princess should know who killed her.¡±


    ¡°I am not incorrect in discerning who tried to kill Kaid right now.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m disappointed in you. For the first, when I found someone like me for the first time, and that was you. Can you understand my joy then? My joy when I found the mole on your neck. I was delighted that you had the eyes that were simr to the past, yet different. Oh, you must have the same feeling as I. You must want to make that man suffer the same bitterness, I thought. Yet, look at you now. Are you just going to forgive him? Give him salvation? To the person who killed us? After getting robbed of everything from that minor noble? I have wonder if you¡¯re sane.¡±


    That¡¯s what I should say to you.


    That was what I thought.


    I don¡¯t care, I thought.


    I don¡¯t care, so tell me where the antidote is.


    Seeing my obvious reaction to the two bottles that were brought out from his pocket, he snickered.


    ¡°Even if you look at me so yearningly eyes, these aren¡¯t antidotes. It¡¯s another kind of poison. It will be hard to make it lethal, but it¡¯s convenient since it¡¯s vtile. Even if it¡¯s weak, there still are some after-effects. The other one isn¡¯t poison. Just sulphuric acid.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­So you think I would hesitate from that.¡±


    ¡°It might have had some effect on you in the past, but it looks like it won¡¯t now. However, from here you will be on my side. You will curse his wrongdoings, sneer at the owner of this estate and throw away your proof of friendship.¡±


    With the tip of the small closed bottle, he pointed at the ne on my chest, a scowl on his face. I wonder if he learned hypnotism in these past fifteen years. Otherwise, I cannot understand how he can say something that can¡¯t possibly happen with such a cheerful look.


    As I was about to shout that to him, a soft voice came from behind me.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Shirley?¡±


    Hearing the voice slightly clouded with drowsiness, I almost snapped around.


    Jasmine, who had her clothes slightly uced, came teetering out from the curtains and opened her eyes wide.


    In her eyes, there was a woman who was pointing a knife at her colleague who looked pale from poison. The woman had her hair and clothes unkempt, suspicious no matter what.


    .


    ¡°H-Help, Jasmine-san! Shirley-san is strange!¡±


    .


    Seeing ¡®Tim¡¯ speak in a trembling voice and stagger and lean against the window as if he were dizzy, Jasmine screamed.


    ¡®Wilfred¡¯ who copsed against the windowsill shook the ss bottle in his hand.


    Which bottle was that? No, that didn¡¯t matter. Even if weak, there¡¯s no telling what will happen to Jasmine who is already very pale. The acid is out of question.


    On that pale face made from drinking the poison himself, the white lips curled into a smile.


    ¡°To tell the truth, there¡¯s another bottle, but my partner has it. On my signal, it will be thrown into the well¡­¡­¡­¡­ Jasmine-san, run away, Jasmine-san¡­¡­¡±


    After telling me things in a quiet voice, he told a barefaced lie in a weak voice. He was asking for help before, but now he was telling her to run away.


    I wonder if he was this kind of person. I don¡¯t remember well. I never knew well.


    Since he was my fianc¨¦ in that paradise which I knew was distorted and foul, he might have been this kind of person to begin with. Or maybe fifteen years turned him into this.


    Either way, there was a ridiculousck of possible actions for me.


    I gripped the knife in reverse and grabbed the hair of the sickly ¡®Tim¡¯. While getting goosebumps from his tiny yelp, I ced the knife against his exposed neck. Then, with eyes as though they coldly staring down at subjects from the gallows, I gazed at Jasmine.


    ¡°Don¡¯te any closer.¡±


    My voice wasn¡¯t trembling.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    There was the noise of many footsteps.


    Isador, Caron, Samua, familiar faces all gasped at seeing me. The person who screamed, ¡°Tim!¡± was the maid from the room next door. She is a kind girl who shares that she found a delicious confectionery shop.


    ¡°Shirley, what, why,¡±


    Seeing the aways serious Samua who firmly set his hair back having his fringe down, I felt slightly relieved seeing such a figure. So he¡¯s been released. Then, that¡¯s nice.


    Even though I think that from the bottom of my heart, what I am giving to all the exhausted people is not relief.


    It¡¯s betrayal.


    .


    ¡°I¡¯m just sick of it all. Jasmine, you, Tim, annoying doesn¡¯t cut it. ¡­¡­Also, that man.¡±


    .


    Unable to hold back, I strongly pulled the hair of Wilfred who gave a thin smile. He groaned for real this time, but I didn¡¯t feel happy at all. How nice it would have been to sh at him with this knife.


    Even though it was sticky, I desperate ran my tongue in my dry mouth.


    ¡°If he¡¯s giving me something, jewels would have been nice, but all he gives are sweets and cookies. I¡¯m not the sort of person to sit smouldering here. I¡¯ll go higher, be better, be rich and I¡¯ll live the happy life everyone will envy.¡±


    I¡¯m lying.


    ¡°I really hate that I didn¡¯t get anything out of being a servant to him. It¡¯s annoying.¡±


    I¡¯m lying.


    ¡°If I couldn¡¯t get that man, I was thinking of getting the heir-apparent, yet that man interfered in that. Even more than that, he was going to fire me. So I killed him. If I poison Tim, Samua would have been taken care of as well. You would have quieted down after losing two friends, yes?¡±


    After turning pale like when she was unwell, Jasmine¡¯s legs buckled. Reflexively supporting her, Samua still looked bewildered with disbelief even after seeing this much.


    ¡°Hey, head maid. I wonder if that man died already. The poison was for killing bears. He should have died. Well, it was for killing bears. Hey, Isador-sama. The man who was in our way is no longer there. Will you look at me now?


    Isador was about to say something, but he closed his mouth. Then he muttered something. I can¡¯t see from here, he must have told someone close to him what I said without any exaggerations.


    I apologised in my head to Caron who looked confused. To be honest, before leaving here, I wanted to tell you at the least. I don¡¯t me Kaid, that it¡¯s alright now. At the least, that there was no need to defend me and condemn Kaid.


    I wanted to tell her that.


    .


    Before people coulde around me, I dropped ¡®Tim¡¯ who was weakened from poison outside the window. This is the first floor so there¡¯s no problem and the window is low so that patients can be carried in.


    As I followed out, the voice that always greeted me cheerfully for a month, despite there being nothing fun for her, called me.


    ¡°Shirley!¡±


    I tightly bit my lips and leapt over the window, then turned around.


    ¡°Shut up. Stop yelping about. Can you never talk without shouting? That¡¯s what I hate about you. You¡¯re noisy. Just hearing you makes me feel thirsty. Won¡¯t someone go to the well and draw some water for me. Ah, Jasmine, you can go do that. It¡¯d be nice if you fell in right there and became quiet.¡±


    Even though she turned pale and her teeth were chattering, there were no tears. Yeah, you can¡¯t cry. For some reason, it¡¯s not possible to cry if there¡¯s too much sadness or pain.


    I slowly moved my fingers to my ne. The chain snapped easily. The eyes that were light quickly warped.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be leaving this too. I¡¯ll leave it hear. Right, you can leave it to Kaid. A broken ne. The flower fits him well.¡±


    I made the flower lying on the frame fall away with a flick from my fingers. With the sound like shells reverberating as the end, I stepped back while having my knife drawn on ¡®Tim¡¯.


    Right as I reached thest ce where the light from the window could reach, I raised the corners of my lips.


    ¡°Goodbye.¡±


    ¡°Wait, Shirley, wait!¡¯


    ¡°Tim! Stop! Give Tim back!¡±


    Bitter shouts struck my back.


    But Wilfred and I did not look back and disappeared into the darkness.


    .


    .


    .


    Anyway, the gates were shut. There were no ces to run away too. I was hoping that there would be arrows if we dyed, but Wilfred shifted his expression from that which was like that of a scared dog into a smug smile.


    ¡°This way,e on.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Is there really, no, antidote?¡±


    ¡°Nope. Even if he somehow manages to live, just his bowels feeling like they¡¯re being boiled alive won¡¯t be all. Killing him once is not enough.¡±


    As the knife was pressed against my back, I reluctantly ran. My sides hurt now. My throats hurt so much that I might even wonder if I¡¯m breathing thorns.


    I wonder where we¡¯re going. Anyhow, we¡¯re running away together. If someone had an arrow, I could signal them so that the two of us would be pierced together.


    Since we¡¯re outside, the vtile poison will flow away with the wind, and the even if the sulphuric acid is thrown only I¡¯ll be harmed. Just one signal will be good.


    In the shadow of my body I closed and opened my fist many times. It will be decided in a moment. Ah, how about whistling? I won¡¯t be able to do anything if my arms get restrained.


    Fortunately, our height is simr, so maybe a headbutt might work. If possible, I want to slug him with my fist, but it will have no point unless it works. I don¡¯t care if my fingers break, so I wonder if it will work if I hit him with all my strength.


    As I ran, my focus drifted to the shouts and lights that came from many ces.


    Kaid. Helt.


    Ah, either is fine. Either is good. Whatever you want, please, either one, please stay alive.


    No. We promised to meet in our next life, yet this is too fast. I didn¡¯t want to say goodbye like this.


    .


    .


    ¡°Haha! A fitting end for a lord who came to power through revolution!¡±


    Seeing himugh in a manner too inhumane for a child, the image of red and the smell of rust came back. The way how he worried for the drop of blood on my cheek even as he vomited gushes of blood.


    ¡°¡­¡­Wilfred Alcott, if, if Kaid dies I will never forgive you.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s unfair. You forgave someone who killed you and your family. Well, let¡¯s talk about thatter. After we get out of here.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no way we can get out. All the gates are shut.¡±


    Maybe it¡¯s alright under normal circumstances, but there¡¯s no way the guards would let two servants past after such event happened. Even if there¡¯s a hostage, it¡¯s not possible.


    Even so, he smiled.


    ¡°If we can¡¯t pass, we can just get away with someone who can get past. Ignorant princess.¡±


    After I tried to find out the true intent of those words as I frowned, I realised.


    This was the ce where the carriage guests brought were. Among them, he stopped in front the carriage that was nted and ¡®for some reason¡¯ heid a hand on therge door. The carriage that had its horses ¡®for some reason¡¯ easily opened its mouth. Then seeing the lump of meat inside the answer was revealed.


    Today was a rtively calm day.


    The only trouble before dinner was that Joblin, the lord of Darich fell over and that it was hard to raise him back up.


    .


    .


    ¡°Now, how did it go?¡±


    ¡°He did get it, but he didn¡¯t die instantly even with poison for bears. What, is he a monster or something?¡±


    ¡°The beastly noble survives by feeding on trash, so his stomach is strangely strong. Good work. I shall allow you to ride the carriage.¡±


    ¡°Sir.¡±


    The servant from Darich who was sitting in front of Joblin stood up and kicked the space beneath the seats. That opened up to reveal a tight space. The servant descended and took off the board inside.


    ¡°Ladies first?¡±


    It was absurd seeing Wilfred making the elegant gesture of a man escorting a nobledy.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Riding out after such amotion is equal to saying that we are the culprits.¡±


    ¡°But, you can¡¯t use the lord of another fief without clear proof. Come one, get in quickly. Or, I wonder if the princess can¡¯t get in unless I embrace her.¡±


    I silently red in response to his bare insult. Wilfred wasughing from something, while Joblin¡¯s meat wobbled as he seemed to move his head. He might have tilted his head, but his neck is hidden in the meat.


    ¡°Since thou expressed that she was necessary, I wondered what kind of girl she may be, but is she not just a in girl. Sullen face and no meat. It surely shall feel disgusting to hold her.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Compared to you, everyone is not meaty enough.¡±


    ¡°Haha, what words.¡±


    The The meat wobbled. The carriage rocked as well.


    ¡°She¡¯s a girl without anything, but she is the only one for me in this world. No one can rece her. Like how everyone is different from me, only she can see the world I see.¡±


    ¡°Thou always say mysterious words. Well, ¡¯tis fine. Get on.¡±


    ¡°Yes. Now, princess,e in.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­No.¡±


    To me who was ncing at the shut door, Wilfred shrugged and opened the shelf inside the carriage. Immediately after seeing cloth in the tightly shut bottle, I turned around to run away. However, as the entrance was blocked, even though it¡¯s a carriage wider than normal, it still was a carriage. I quickly bumped into the wall.


    The manservant from Darich restrained me.


    ¡°Let me go!¡±


    Like what I did to ¡®Tim¡¯, my hair grabbed and I was forcibly pulled up. Before I could say any more, my mouth and nose was covered with wet cloth.


    ¡°If I knew that you were this energetic, maybe I should have invited you for some horse riding? Though, I still would have hated visiting your father.¡±


    I also hated that, yet from the cloth that reeked of medicine I quickly lost consciousness.


    The word I muttered, Kaid, was also absorbed into the cloth, blocked from getting out to the world.

 Chapter 14: The farewell, of you and me. — IV

    <h4>Chapter 14: The farewell, of you and me. ¡ª IV</h4>


    The sound of rain was not stopping.


    A severe rain was now falling for two days.


    .


    .


    We can¡¯t stay in a fief where the lord was poisoned.


    Insisting so, the people from Darich fled the mansion, but were being held up by an out-of-season rainfall that we could not get out of Laius yet.


    Being held up in a countryside vige without anyrge inns, Joblin was feeling irritated as he rocked hisrge body. It seems that he is also angry that he was forced to use a barn that had arge entrance since there were no rooms fitting his size. If he gets angry at such stuff, he should reduce his waist size. It seemed that he could not think of such a thing, since he was now grabbing snacks like an eagle, gulping them down like water.


    I wonder if this was why mother disliked him, saying that the man was dirty.


    .


    Near the barn, there was a bell tower tolling every six hours to tell the time.


    Since the bell tolled just a while ago it dawn must be breaking now. Leaning against the window shut tightly to keep out the rain, I listened to the sound of rain.


    .


    .


    In the room, there was me, Joblin and three servants. It wasn¡¯t a ce where everyone could fit in.


    As for one servant, the person is staying in the bell tower. It must be painful to listen to the bell that tolls all over the vige four times a day up close. This is pretty close too, but it¡¯s not the same building so I don¡¯t get startled by the sound at least.


    Wilfred always went out somewhere to gather information.


    It¡¯s been four days since we left the mansion. He¡¯s beening back dejected every day.


    ¡°He¡¯s not dead yet.¡±


    Those words were my only salvation.


    After that, I never talked with him. From his conversation with Joblin, I could get that Joblin has not realised that he is Wilfred.


    .


    .


    ¡°If you will be a bit more lovely, I shall give these to you too.¡±


    I looked at Joblin who held out a box with leftover chocte with a hand smeared with chocte melted from his body temperature as if he were a filthy thing. Not only did he seem filthy, the way he licked his fingers was indeed dirty.


    He just had breakfast, yet he seems to be hungry already. Since the sound of rain and wind was strong, he was up early after all. Though, he¡¯s been eating something all day so it might not be rted.


    ¡°Please don¡¯t approach. It feels nauseating to just be in the same room. Unless you note your own squalidness, pigs in sties still have more elegance.¡±


    ¡°Hoho, she talks well for a country girl. She runs her mouth like a finely brought updy.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s you who can¡¯t talk like a fine lord. It troubles me if you me your own ipetence on me.¡±


    The lump of meat shook its body as itughed.


    Then the expression suddenly turned neutral.


    ¡°What are you trying to by making me angry, girl?¡±


    I wish he would charge like an enraged boar and destroy the window and entrance, but I know that to be impossible. If it¡¯s Joblin¡¯s body, he can muster up sufficient strength but he has trouble from just sitting down so he won¡¯t lift his body up to charge at me. I¡¯m wee if hees charging at me any time but now he has no signs of moving at all. He rarely stands up, so there is little hope.


    Unlike the man who erased his expression, I smiled further.


    ¡°Rather, I might ask what you are trying to do by waiting upon a country girl.¡±


    It seems like I¡¯ve been judged as a worthy conversation partner, good.


    Despite his clumsy appearance, he is quite the meticulous and ambitious person. Otherwise, he couldn¡¯t have kept up this long as a lord while watching for the opportunity to im other fiefs¡¯nds. The man who concluded that the conversations with me in the past four days were not meaningless stopped leaning against the window and stretched his back.


    Amidst the face buried with meat, his eyes that were oddly small narrowed, which was quite hard to tell it did.


    ¡°That shrewd Tim, you, the youngster of Laius, children these days are frightening. My guts feel queasy.¡±


    ¡°I am honoured for the praise, but I do not feel happy at all from getting praised by you.¡±


    ¡°No no, it truly is frightening. At first I thought you were just a dull country girl, but then such a crafty man like Tim would not give you up. It was the correct choice to bring you, thinking that it would be interesting.¡±


    The eyes that could only be seen as circles depending on the angle looked down at me silently.


    ¡°I hear you even tamed that wolf lord?¡±


    ¡°A wolf is a wolf because it does not follow people. Things that wag their tails to people are not wolves but dogs. Don¡¯t you even know that?¡±


    And things that get tamed by people without wagging their tails are not dogs.


    Just humans. People liking others as people. Just that.


    However, I have no ns to tell him that. Saying that he is just human, to those that can¡¯t get such an obvious thing, there¡¯s no use from telling them that.


    When I gave him a high-pitchedugh, Joblin snorted and grabbed more chocte with his hands. Without minding that it was melting from his body temperature, he tossed them into his mouth and licked up what was left on his hands.


    ¡°I wish I could have had a chance, even once. I could have chosen a suitable ck-haired man to make a child and use the child as a pretender to take the ce, it¡¯s a regrettable thing.¡±


    He talked of a filthy thing as if he were talking about chocte. Willing to choose any method for his goals, this is the lord of Darich. Just as ugly as my father and even slier.


    ¡°Even without having to look for uncouth country girls, he has many people that will be with him. Why don¡¯t you let me go if there is no use for me then? I couldply if you order me to.¡±


    ¡°Well, don¡¯t rush to a conclusion like that. What, once the storm passes it could immediately be used for Darich. In that situation, thinking slowly is possible, is it not?¡±


    ¡°There is nothing to think about.¡±


    The man who licked his fingers with his thick tongue shook his body in puzzlement.


    ¡°The venue, the dress, the food, the guests. There are many things to think about, no? Even if you are a country girl, you must have dreamed of getting married. What, rest assured. Let me give you generous help.¡±


    For a moment, I didn¡¯t realise what he was talking about. I wonder what kind of face I had been making. A dumbfounded face, or an expressionless one.


    I couldn¡¯t tell, but it seemed like it was enough to make himugh, as Joblin rocked his body in pleasure.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Ha?¡±


    ¡°My own granddaughter too just came of age and fell in love with the him, so I wish to cheer her on wholeheartedly, but it¡¯s the feelings of the person in question that is the most important, you see. He insisted that he must have you and only you. I too wish to support the love of youngsters.¡±


    After barely managing to squeeze out those words, the lump of meatughed buoyantly. Just a while ago, he was saying that he wanted to use a suitable ck-haired man to get a child, but now he was cheering love on.


    Both Joblin and Wilfred taught me with all their actions what duplicity is. However, I¡¯m not any different. I too lied nonchntly. I lied about important things and lived as only as a contraction.


    .


    .


    I¡¯ve been thinking for the past four days. Even now, I am still thinking while listening to the sound of rain.


    I remember the face of everyone when I left the mansion.


    Sorrowful. Bitter. Pained. That wasn¡¯t all. In this life, many smiles were bitter ones. There were many good people. Kind people, warm people. Those people smiled bitterly at me.


    I remember those faces.


    It could be that I wasted these past fifteen years. I had thought that if I stubbornly clung on and did not feel happy that I will be atoned. Living like that, I have hurt others, made people worry, put dark expressions on their faces. I was befuddling myself that this obstinance was alright. Pain, suffering, sadness, I had thought of them as because of the sins from my previous life, pushing them on myself. By saying that I shouldn¡¯t be happy, making my surroundings unhappy, I may have been running away.


    If I really wanted to atone, if I really wanted to make up for it.


    I shouldn¡¯t have made myself unhappy and hurt kind people but give happiness as much as I have sinned.


    Like Kaid, I could have struggled to make people happy, but I headed the opposite direction and hurt the hearts of kind people. Instead of making such expressions, I could have smiled. Now I know.


    I always make mistakes. I only learn of them after it¡¯s toote.


    Thinking that I can¡¯t be happy, I isted myself, not trying to know anything.


    It¡¯s the same. I had not changed any bit from when I did not know anything.


    .


    Ah, I really am a stupid woman. I learned of that only now. I hurt those kind people beyond healing and left them.


    Kaid, ah, Kaid.


    Sorry, I¡¯m really sorry. Isador, I¡¯m not just a shackle. I¡¯m a curse. Drunk in unhappiness, spraying unhappiness, I am a cmity.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    ¡°Hey, Tim.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not very nice, Joblin-sama. The words of proposal I thought up carefully were just spoiled.¡±


    ¡°Hoho, wasn¡¯t it a good lesson for you, learning that discerning the timing is the most important?¡±


    I don¡¯t know when he changed, but Wilfred threw his wet clothes, shrugged his shoulders and scratched his head.


    ¡°Then at least give me time to persuade her please.¡±


    ¡°Hoho, there¡¯s rain anyway. There¡¯s plenty of time.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t persuade her unless there¡¯s just the two of us. Since she¡¯s a sheltered princess.¡±


    ¡°The country girl talks unabashedly. I had thought that it was strange that you would be interested, but, hm, she indeed is an interesting girl. Grand, I shall lend you the carriage. You may talk with her as much as you please.¡±


    ¡°I am grateful and happy, though, it is very generous of you.¡±


    ¡°What, one needs to enjoy themselves even in a gloomy weather. Although, I will have the carriage back, so you shan¡¯t dirty it, is that clear?¡±


    ¡°Since it is a specially made one, I won¡¯t do such a bothersome thing. Then, let¡¯s be off, Shirley.¡±


    I stood up without holding the hand that was held out.


    Wilfred deftly raised an eyebrow.


    ¡°My, the princess can stand up on her own?¡±


    ¡°She stood up, hm.¡±


    Over a long time, people who did not abandon me even as I kept making mistakes taught me. Not yet. I have not repaid anything yet. I have not yet apologised for anything. To everyone, to that person.


    Kaid, I¡¯m sorry, Kaid.


    I got you twined in me and made you drown. You who is drowning in unhappiness, I will pull you up this time. I will take you to a bright ce. I will definitely do it.


    So please, don¡¯t die. Please, make it. Don¡¯t say that it was toote, or that you couldn¡¯t make it.


    No matter what happens, I wille back for you, so please don¡¯t die. Please, stay alive.


    .


    God, I plead you. I don¡¯t care if all my luck runs out. I will be happy even without luck. I will never hope for happiness, never again. I will not run away. No matter what, I will never give up in trying to be happy. I will give my everything to make it so that people who see me are not saddened.


    So please, God.


    .


    Help him.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    In the rain, we headed to the carriages. Tim sailed right past the carriage that was at least thrice as big as the other ones and opened the door of a small carriage and got on.


    Since I only have bad memories of that carriage I didn¡¯t care, but I was looking at it anyway when I was pushed inside.


    ¡°There¡¯s probably someone inside that. I¡¯m sure you don¡¯t want others to hear, yes?¡±


    ¡°True.¡±


    Even if it¡¯s small, it¡¯s big enough for four people to get on. There¡¯s space for that.


    I wiped my hair that got wet from the rain which an umbre had no meaning. We sat with out knees facing each other and I grabbed my index and middle finger.


    ¡°Let me go.¡±


    ¡°I have a question.¡±


    He¡¯s a man who doesn¡¯t listen to people. Well, I suppose I¡¯m the same since I asked for a request before listening to the other person.


    Left with no choice, I shut my mouth. Currently, Wilfred has the lead.


    To me who grew silent, Wilfred tapped his knee with his index finger. This is his habit. Since I never saw him doing it as Tim, he knows of the habit too.


    ¡°You, I heard you kept refusing marriage with me. I heard you kept asking your father to cancel it.¡±


    ¡°If I knew that you were this kind of person, I would have felt much more disgust, but so what.¡±


    ¡°At the mansion, I did see that you were stirred up a bit or had a weakness for him, but¡­¡­ could it be that you were already lovers back then?¡±


    There is, no reason to flinch, at the gaze that will not miss even a blink.


    ¡°What about it.¡±


    The eyes, opened wide.


    .


    .


    Even an ignorant and foolish girl knows that a noble¡¯s daughter marries for the good of the family. Thus, I had thought that if my rtionship with Helt is found out he would be fired and that we would not be able to meet again. Actually, he wouldn¡¯t just have lost his job, but also his neck. Even if I didn¡¯t think that far, the two of us met in secret so that no one would know. I didn¡¯t know back then that Helt was good at concealing such things, but he did it very well. I was not very close with the maids to begin with and there were only a few people I was friendly with.


    One of those few were Caron. I had told Caron. Whenever I went to meet Helt, she helped.


    However, because of that, when I refused the marriage for the family without any reason, father did not allow it.


    .


    .


    ¡°Ha, haha, ahahaha! Then, you weren¡¯t just betrayed by your servant, but by your lover! This is a masterpiece!¡±


    Wilfredughed while holding his belly button, tears forming in his eyes. When I replied yes to him, he grabbed me by the cor.


    ¡°Are you an idiot. If that¡¯s the case, what the hell are you doing.¡±


    ¡°Nothing, I didn¡¯t do anything. I haven¡¯t done anything for him to be happy.¡±


    With the sound of skin hitting skin, my vision blurred. I was pped or hit. Doesn¡¯t matter.


    I corrected my head¡¯s angle which was turned by getting hit on my cheek.


    ¡°Pretending to be a saintess?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s nice. Rather, it¡¯s the ominous kind.¡±


    I wiped my lopsided lips and spat those out. He twisted his face a little in surprise. That face was delight that was like madness.


    ¡°You¡¯re making a good face. Back then you were a boring woman who didn¡¯t even know profanity. If you¡¯re dissatisfied, you¡¯re making that face at the wrong person.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Wilfred, why now. Now, I¡¯m neither the only daughter of the lord of Laius, nor do I have royal blood, just a simple country girl. From a long time ago, I¡¯m sure you didn¡¯t really like me.¡±


    ¡°I liked your face and body very much though.¡±


    Pervert.


    When I stayed silent to the answer that was hard to reply to, he chuckled. Heid his elbows on his knees and rested his head on his sped hands and looked at me.


    ¡°Well, you¡¯ve been lonely, haven¡¯t you?¡±


    With a voice that one could misunderstand as kindness, he smiled.


    .


    .


    ¡°It is only humiliation to to keep reviving through recollections a ce that will not return into our hands again. We should be holding the regret of being killed by him, raising that towards him. Hey, I think you should be like that too. Just how many times were we killed even in mere pillow talks? With the pretty voice of bards, in the picture shows of wandering jesters, in school sses, in children¡¯s games, how many times did we die? How often did people rejoice over that sorry sight?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­We were justly hated. We were persecuted justly so it¡¯s a natural thing.¡±


    ¡°Everyone apuded and cheered at our deaths. Since we don¡¯t even exist any more, crimes that we didn¡¯tmit are added on. Children y with figures in my shape. They swing the head about, hit them with sticks, throw stones but their parents to not chastise that. Even though they don¡¯t know the pain of thrown stones and getting hit with sticks, they coolly reproduce that seen.¡±


    ¡°Wilfred.¡±


    ¡°However we certainly are here. We are still here. Even if no one believes it nor recognises us, we are here. We¡¯re here. It¡¯s not over yet. To those who think so, I¡¯ll make them realise it with no room for doubt.¡±


    ¡°Wil!¡±


    Like how a beast bares its fangs past its lips, I shouted instinctively.


    He looked surprised for a moment and then concealed his teeth.


    ¡°You¡¯re the only one who calls me that now.¡±


    Of course. Since we were born as different people.


    Even if everything was like ourselves.


    Wilfred rested his head on his clenched hands and looked down.


    ¡°If it was something from a long past, I would have put up with it. If it was just history, I would have lived as Tim. However, it¡¯s not. The man that killed is leading a carefree life even now and the ce is brimming with people that rejoice over our deaths. As if I can live like that! The people that won¡¯t let me forget that I am Wilfred is them! ¡­¡­I became Wilfred from their hands. They will take responsibility for that.¡±


    ¡°You and I were both relics of an already ruined miniature garden. We had tormented Laius enough. We were pests that harassed thend, the people. We stirred up Laius and made thend go deste. So we were removed. That was all.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re saying that because the things you lost were given to you. I gained everything with my hands. Then I was robbed of them. So I am taking them back, that is all.¡±


    That cannot be allowed.


    I didn¡¯t say that out loud, but as he lifted his head up and saw me he understood how I felt.


    ¡°I who was killed by him will kill him. Then maybe he will be reborn. Then I might die from his hands. Even if that repeats¡­¡­ I won¡¯t lose you. You¡¯re a person on this side. Because that is so. You were our flower. You were the flower that bloomed at the summit of us.¡±


    ¡°It already withered away. Because I¡¯m the fruitless flower of Laius. I disappeared without producing fruit.¡±


    ¡°No, you are here. You are still here with me.¡±


    It sounded like he was telling that to himself.


    ¡°No¡­¡­ I¡¯m lonely. I¡¯m lonely on my own. There¡¯s no one that doesn¡¯t know Wilfred the devil of Laius. However, the only person who knows that I am Wil, Wilfred, is only you now. And only I know you. Only one person in the world, I know the same thing as you. Just you and I are living in this same hell.¡±


    The hand that reached out as he was looking downwards suddenly grabbed my elbow. With no time to even feel startled, I was pulled in and embraced. After I tried to push him away in confusion, my hand stopped as I tried to push his shoulder.


    He was trembling. The arms on my waist, the head on my chest.


    His trembling body temperature could be felt.


    ¡°¡­¡­Am I a lunatic? Am I just a lunatic who believes that he has a past life? ¡­¡­That¡¯s fine, that¡¯s still fine, so please¡­¡­ stay with me. Please, don¡¯t, leave me alone.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Wil, please, let me go.¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t ask you to give me your heart. However, if you won¡¯t be mine, please say that at the least you won¡¯t be anyone¡¯s.¡±


    ¡°No, not with you.¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t let you go! At the least, I won¡¯t let you be his! No matter what happens, wherever you run away, even if we both die, I will find you!¡±


    ¡°Wil!¡±


    We were both crying. Weeping while trying to tear the clothes off, crying and screaming as he chased me, we struggled violently, causing the carriage to rock heavily.


    The hairband was pulled and ripped to shred. The buttons flew away. Since both our bodies had not finished developing, the physical difference was not as much as adults. So Wilfred and I both became beaten up.


    When I groaned from getting bitten on my neck and loosened my strength a bit, he grew careless. I used all my strength to kick him away.


    In that frame of time where he lost his breath from hitting back in the small carriage, I ran out.


    .


    .


    The rain had stopped before I knew it.


    It was a littlete to see the sunrise, but the thick clouds quickly cleared up. The wind that was still slightly strong picked up my loose hair and batted it against my clothes.


    I sensed Wilfred exit the carriage behind me. Yet, I couldn¡¯t move. Wilfred also didn¡¯t pounce on me. He absentmindedly stared at the world, then ran off as if he was repelled.


    .


    The bells echo.


    The curtains of night fell on the small country vige. I watched absentmindedly as the vige was being dyed ck. Because today is the Liberation Festival. It was the day when the decorations that were being suppressed from the rain would shine from light from the sky.


    .


    Yet, I wandered if night dide for a moment.


    But the clouds rapidly washed away to reveal a refreshing blue sky.


    .


    The bells resound.


    It hadn¡¯t been long since the six o¡¯clock morning rang, yet the bells didn¡¯t stop.


    I wonder what that ck thing is.


    The ck shade was fluttering in the wind. The ck wavered on rooftops and the ck colour dyed the windows. People hid their faces and were looking downwards as their ck clothes were getting soaked. The people who should be wild with joy for the festival all had their heads down, the ck flowing through the vige.


    .


    Strength left my legs and I had my knees on the wet floor.


    Ahead of me, Wilfred wasing back, panting. Though he had a terrible expression just a while ago, he smiled like normal children, like Tim.


    A glittering, innocent smile.


    .


    .


    ¡°This morning, Kaid Falua died.¡±


    .


    .


    He announced as if to tell that to the sky.

 Chapter 15: You and me, our,

    <h4>Chapter 15: You and me, our,</h4>


    A grey scenery wasid out. Rocks and stones were tumbled around on a mountain of a colour that one would suspect that there would be more pebbles than dirt. The nearby fields also had an overwhelming amount of dirtpared to grass, with only minuscule patches of grass.


    The roads were uneven, causing the carriage to rock left and right. Joblin, who would usually beining, was actually enjoying the rhythm now.


    .


    However, the grey scenery changed drastically upon entering a vige.


    Like the previous viges, the veil of night had fallen on it.


    A vige of stone, silent as death. On sharp roofs, on windows, everywhere was covered with ck cloth.


    After looking outside through the carriage curtains, Wilfred whistled.


    ¡°Amazing, or should I say that it¡¯s his hometown after all. It¡¯s full of ck.¡±


    Take a look, he said and slowly raised my head up with his finger.


    A vige that fell silent even though it¡¯s not midwinter nor midnight.


    Located near the border between Laius and Darich, this is Kolkia, the furthest point north in Laius.


    Kaid¡¯s hometown.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go sometime.¡±


    Thend that he promised, the promise which I broke.


    .


    .


    .


    Even after the storm subsided and we were able to depart, the effect of the heavy rain was enormous. There were manyndslides on the roads. The frequently used roads were blocked and people could not travel.


    It took a more than a day where it would normally take just half a day.


    On top of that, it was tough enough with the disasters, but Laius didn¡¯t have a lord now. There is a person for such times, but no matter how much he tried he could not keep up with the amount of work Kaid had been doing alone. Moreover, people here and there who received the news of the assassination of the lord were demanding an exnation.


    .


    .


    Joblin upied one whole seat section of the wide carriage. It¡¯s fine since it¡¯s his carriage, yet it looked like it was tight even though he had the whole space to himself.


    Sitting next to me, Wilfred rested his chin on his knee and looked at me.


    ¡°You¡¯re making a terrible face.¡±


    I was aware of it.


    Without even thinking of fixing my hair, I looked at my dishevelled hair resting on my face. It looked much lighter than how I remembered it. I wonder if my hair will turn white at this rate. Then my face will age greatly too. I¡¯m already making a depressing face, I wonder if I¡¯ll be a witch with white hair then.


    Almost two days passed since then. However, I didn¡¯t sleep much. I couldn¡¯t sleep.


    ¡°I thought that you would break down in tears.¡±


    He noted interestedly to me who did not create a single drop of tear since the day the world was shrouded by the night.


    You can¡¯t cry if there¡¯s too much sorrow. I knew that.


    But there wasn¡¯t even that. I didn¡¯t even feel sad. I couldn¡¯t feel anything. My heart was frozen.


    I wonder if that was thest.


    What did Ist talk about with him¡­¡­ right, moles. The mood grew awkward after we mentioned moles and became fidgety. It felt somewhat embarrassing.


    But then, Kaid was dyed in red and smiled after wiping away the red on me.


    That was all?


    Kaid is not here anymore?


    He¡¯s not anywhere?


    Kaid can¡¯t be found anywhere in this world?


    Helt disppeared and Kaid appeared. Yet nothing appeared when Kaid disappeared. Why?


    .


    I loosened the hard lock on my hands and stared nkly.


    I brewed it with these hands. I brewed his tea. My hands poisoned him. Ah, why did I not drink first? If I drank first he would not have had it. Why did I not call the doctor immediately? I shouldn¡¯t have panicked. Why was there no antidote? I really needed it.


    Why did he have to die.


    I didn¡¯t do anything yet, I didn¡¯t do anything for him.


    Not, a thing.


    .


    .


    .


    Even though thend was vast, there was little space for people to live in. We passed through the vige of small houses in the rocky field on a stony road that was barely in a fair condition.


    The flowing waters of the river could be heard. The river that was overflowing from the rain that had falling until yesterday roared as it gushed. It was as though it was spiteful. A sound that was as though it maddened from losing a beloved child of thend came from the ground.


    .


    Enjoying Kolkia¡¯s rage, Joblin spoke in a high-pitched voice as though he was going to hum.


    ¡°My my, Tim. You shouldn¡¯t bully her too much.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you want to tease the girl you like?¡±


    ¡°A woman¡¯s resentment is frightening. It¡¯s vengeful and sticks even to unrted things, reviving over and over again until it finally dies.¡±


    Feeling good, Joblin let out augh that was shorter and lower than that of an owl¡¯s.


    ¡°More importantly, discuss about the wedding. once we arrive, we¡¯ll start preparing immediately. I¡¯m also busy. Laius will be embroiled in a storm. Well, actually, it is like a ce the wolf created on his own. I hope the ce is full of foes. I hope disease spreads. I hope the flow doesn¡¯t stop. I wish I could have done it again fifteen years ago.¡±


    Among the things that pop up, I wonder if there¡¯s even one thing this man will not try his hand on.


    ¡°He was a terribly unpleasant man. As he did it alone, it would have copsed if he disappeared. However, it would not copse unless he¡¯s erased. Something will maintain it as long as that one man is there. He was the bothersome beast.¡±


    Laius that escaped destruction fifteen years ago appeared. The ce called Laius would be gone. The Laius he protected will be taken by the man in front of me.


    When I looked straight ahead, a gleeful voice of ¡°Hoh,¡± escaped the meat.


    ¡°¡­¡­You¡¯re making nice eyes. It¡¯s as though you¡¯ll tear out my throat. Are you truly not the partner of that wolf? Tim, take care to not be murdered at the ceremony.¡±


    When I looked at him, Wilfred distorted his face without holding it in. It wasn¡¯t a face that couldn¡¯t hold it in. It was an expression full of delight.


    ¡°Nice¡­¡­ exciting. As you are now, I think you¡¯ll look very good in a bright red dress.¡±


    If I have to wear something like that, I¡¯ll be d in mes to dye myself red. Then I¡¯ll be satisfied.


    ¡°Still, let¡¯s do the ceremony in ck. We¡¯ll be wedded while wearing mourning clothes. Isn¡¯t it perfect for us?¡±


    Not faint, but a thick ck something rioted in my heart. All the suppressed feelings were sucked into that and scorched the inside of my body.


    Wilfred smiled innocently like a little child.


    .


    ¡°Do you want to die?¡±


    ¡°I want to kill.¡±


    .


    .


    At the words that came flowing out, Wilfredughed out loud this time. I couldn¡¯t feel sorrow, yet hatred was there as though it was alive and breathing.


    He was holding his belly button inughter, but I continued.


    .


    ¡°Give me a trial in Laius.¡±


    .


    In a blink, his face lost all expression. I was hit on the cheek. Not caring about it, I grabbed him by the cor. The body I pulled in close with my weight fell. The face was so close that the lips almost touched.


    ¡°The crime of poisoning the lord of Laius as people of Laius should be judged in Laius. Whatever happens, it doesn¡¯t change that we¡¯re from Laius.¡±


    .


    .


    I will never forgive you if Kaid dies.


    There was no lie to that. Not forgiving. Forever, even after death. Even if we return again.


    Go die.


    I¡¯ll kill you.


    Words that were in some sense contradictory yet wishing for the same result were stuck in my head.


    I hope your spine breaks that you vomit blood as though it¡¯s the end of the world and feel the same, no, an even worse pain before you die.


    Or so, I thought.


    Even though I couldn¡¯t mourn, hatred kept gushing forth. I can¡¯t forgive him. No matter how I tried, that remained.


    However, even if I killed him here it wouldn¡¯t change anything. Killing won¡¯t make me feel better, nor would it bring anything back.


    Even if a miracle happened and I reunited with Kaid, his hands would leave me.


    .


    Kaid was a lord. For the people, for Laius, he worked as a lord to the end.


    He protected the Laius that we destroyed. It was he who sacrificed himself, yet he protected even what I forced him to bear.


    I wonder if I can live a life where Kaid can smile to me. When we meet again, I wonder if I won¡¯t have to feel shame, not feel disheartened, nor run away. I wonder if I can smile to you.


    .


    I wonder if I can finally smile out of happiness.


    .


    Then, I might have shed a tear for the first time.


    At least, he won¡¯t be happy if I killed Wilfred. He will definitely make that lonesome smile and stare at me sadly. I can tell now.


    I decided to not pursue unhappiness. I decided that I won¡¯t bear it nor chase it.


    It¡¯s not the past that shouldn¡¯t be seen. People turn around and advance. I stopped without seeing the future. I couldn¡¯t see the hole and tripped, then I fell down as I couldn¡¯t see the hand that was stretched out.


    I won¡¯t advance if I can¡¯t see ahead, if I can¡¯t see it in the future. Even if he¡¯s only in the past.


    .


    I decided to take myself away. From the dim ce I fell down to, to a bright ce.


    You gave me that road. You had to abandon that road because of me, but you made that road in Laius.


    You rebuilt everything from the crumbled cobblestones, you levelled the greed of those wing up, you repaired the copsed walls, and you calmed the anger of the sky.


    You gave candies to starving children, dreams to waning families, tomorrows to babies.


    .


    You gave love to a foolish woman.


    .


    .


    .


    I burdened you with so many things, yet I only offered you one thing.


    It was the ruined ne the kind girl gave me.


    A blue flower to you.


    A blue hyacinth.


    .


    Love to you.


    Love from a foolish woman.


    .


    .


    .


    Unchanging ¡®love¡¯.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    Wilfred grabbed me by the cor as well and he was stronger after all. He gripped me tightly and had me on my toes.


    ¡°Ah, I really like you now. You¡¯re in a different league from that boring woman who was only beautiful. If you want to rub me the wrong way, don¡¯t break. Don¡¯t break and I¡¯ll let you continue invoking my wrath. I had killed everyone who did that until now, but I¡¯ll forgive you. Ahh, I¡¯m d you¡¯re my fianc¨¦e. I love you. I love you from the bottom of my heart. You are the only one for me. The only person who knows me is you. The only flower I need in my garden is just you.¡±


    I wonder if he just failed to cover it up with love, or if he really meant that from the beginning. The words spun a tale wearing an unfamiliar form that was like, or unlike, kindness. Wilfred kneeled on one knee like a knight and looked up at me from something that was like thick sludge.


    ¡°My toxic flower, please marry me.¡±


    ¡°No. No one will be happy.¡±


    ¡°At least I will be. I¡¯ll be careful about making you mine. If it¡¯s you now, I feel that you¡¯d give birth to a birth.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­No way.¡±


    After saying something that I didn¡¯t want to imagine in various meanings, Wilfredughed joyfully.


    .


    .


    .


    ¡°Now that¡¯s what I call a love twin!¡±


    Even though he wouldn¡¯t know the actual meaning, Joblinughed loudly aftering to a conclusion of his own. I didn¡¯t know what was so funny, but heughed with a sound as though his lungs were copsing, causing the carriage rock greatly.


    It would be amazing even from outside.


    At first, I thought it was because of this that a polite voice called for Joblin from outside.


    ¡°Master, master.¡±


    ¡°Mm.¡±


    Notughing anymore and showing a movement of meat that was hard to tell if it nodded or just shook, Joblin said something. Wilfred then approached the small window that was kept open so that we wouldn¡¯t suffocate.


    There, the butler from Darich was on horseback. Since he had bits of white hair, I could tell that he was rather old. He had been doing it for a long time. With a practised movement, he spoke directly to Joblin without talking to Wilfred.


    ¡°There are people from Gimii behind us. They request to see master. What shall I do, sir?¡±


    ¡°Hm¡­¡­ Who¡¯s the representative?¡±


    ¡°Isador-sama.¡±


    Joblin clicked his thick tongue.


    ¡°Did he flee because his friend died? I would have ignored them if it wasn¡¯t the man himself. No choice then. Stop the carriages. Tim, lend me a hand.¡±


    ¡°Sir.¡±


    When lords meet, one cannot not get out their carriage. However, I couldn¡¯t help but think that Wilfred would be squashed t when he lent his hand.


    But I wasn¡¯t worried too much. I gave up on the small window and stared at where the window was past the thick curtains.


    Isador¡­¡­ I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re nning, but I hope you won¡¯t do anything strange. Even if you won¡¯t be able to do anything to him after he returns to Darich, here in Laius he is just a guest. The only people who can wield authority in Laius are those from Laius.


    And the only person who can wield authority over lords from other fiefs is the lord of Laius.


    The lord of Laius, the post which is absent now.


    .


    In contrast to the hoof sounds that steadily approached, the hoof sounds from here subsided. The rocking stopped too. Joblin exited the carriage while holding on the hands of any squirming servants. Having finished lending his hand, Wilfred changed his position and bugged me from behind. Somewhere that I couldn¡¯t see, a small bottle asserted its existence with nking sounds.


    ¡°I think you already know, but unless you want an ident to happen to the next lord of Gimii stay still. That crybaby grew up. I want to keep him alive, don¡¯t you know? ¡­¡­Stop ring at me like that. You¡¯re making me excited.¡±


    I immediately stopped ring at him and focused my attention to the outside.


    Built to withstand that giant, the walls were thick. After the doors were closed, all sound from outside was cleanly shut out. After frowning a bit, Wilfred opened the window past the curtains slightly causing sound from outside to reach in for the first time.


    .


    .


    .


    ¡°My, Isador-dono! To what do I owe this pleasure?¡±


    I could clearly picture how he was feigning surprise.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry if you were busy. As I couldn¡¯t apany you here, I was thinking of returning together, but I panicked after realising that you had already left.¡±


    ¡°My, I¡¯m very sorry. An acquaintance informed me that he¡¯s marrying. I thought that I had to run over to give a present, but then I received the news that he left this world¡­¡­ I was considering that I shouldn¡¯t meet him with such a sorry face.


    From the tone of voice that delivered his condolences, I couldn¡¯t even get goosebumps.


    I started wing. I tried to control myself but I couldn¡¯t feel pain, but instead I heard a groan. When I looked down I had been wing at Wilfred¡¯s arm.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Sorry.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­So it wasn¡¯t on purpose.¡±


    I regretted that I shouldn¡¯t have apologised. In the indescribable mood that came from my reflexive apology, he rubbed at where he was scratched. As the sleeves moved, I saw the moles on his wrist. I hadn¡¯t hurt him there, yet Wilfred¡¯s fingers were rubbing there before I realised it.


    He didn¡¯t have to confirm it that much.


    For some reason, I got a thought.


    He was so much like me of the past. Clinging onto something, even without having to confirm that we are here. After we got away from the mansion I saw him do that often. I didn¡¯t see him do that much in the mansion, so maybe this too was something he was aware of.


    .


    .


    .


    ¡°¡­¡­My friend too was worried until the very end. About not being able to see you off.¡±


    My attention snapped back to reality from Isador¡¯s croaking voice.


    ¡°Ohh¡­¡­ I did such a sorry thing¡­¡­ How nice it would be if I could tell him to not worry¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Even if he¡¯s called the wolf lord, my friend is human. Let¡¯s think of him¡­¡­ yes, my friend is human. I kept thinking so¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Ah, ah, what a regretful thing! Let me sympathise with you.¡±


    ¡°Really¡­¡­¡±


    The words seemed to stop from pain.


    Isador, are you crying¡­¡­?


    It¡¯s regretful that I couldn¡¯t see him. It¡¯s painful that I couldn¡¯t get out. If I could rush out, I could have held him in my arms and think of Kaid, our precious person.


    I bit my lips then the smell and taste of iron spread in my mouth. It was the same smell I sensed on thest day I met with Kaid.


    How painful it must have been. How hurtful it must have been.


    I always couldn¡¯t be there beside him when he was going through them. I didn¡¯t hold those hands, embrace him and share the pain.


    I gritted my teeth and swallowed the thing that reeked of iron.


    This red colour, what about it. If I had time to be afraid of that red colour, I should have hugged him andforted him.


    Right after I swallowed that red, my eyes opened wide.


    Because, from outside,


    .


    .


    .


    ¡°No, there¡¯s no need for that, Joblin-dono. If I don¡¯t see off the guests I invited, Laius would be ridiculed as a boorish ce. Even if a lord left preemptively, a frown is not all that we¡¯d received. I panicked and came rushing.¡±


    .


    .


    I could not believe what I heard.

 Chapter 16: You and me and,

    <h4>Chapter 16: You and me and,</h4>


    A choking sound, or rather the sound of someone losing the air in their lungs came from past the wall.


    Then,


    ¡°¡­¡­I thought he was human.¡±


    The exasperated voice of Isador was heard.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    The voices that were hushed spurted up at once. The noisy murmurings could be heard even inside the carriage and the arm holding me down trembled.


    ¡°We have shown you great disrespect. To think we forgot to apologise and see you off. It seems like the recent fatigue had built up, that Ipletely slept in. I should start thinking about my age now.¡±


    I could hear the voice from the front. As well as the numerous cking sounds of hooves and steel.


    ¡°Moreover, I received a report stating that my servants are inconveniencing you, so I hurried over. Truly, I am very sorry. If I sent out something like that as gifts, that will be a disgraceful blot on Laius¡¯s reputation. Joblin-dono, I would like to be allowed to repair your carriage. It seems that there are two little servants. They really can hide anywhere. Really, I believe they snuck into your carriage since it¡¯s the biggest and the easiest to hide in.¡±


    Maybe the voice sounded hoarser than I remembered because the poison burnt his throat.


    No, it wouldn¡¯t have just been the throat that the poison scorched. Because, that amount of blood.


    Because, night fell on the viges of Laius.


    ¡°¡­¡­That, can¡¯t, be, true.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t tell if the trembling voice was Wilfred¡¯s or mine.


    Because, if I¡¯m wrong, I cannot be. And probably, for Wilfred, if I¡¯m not wrong, he cannot be.


    From the other direction of the sound of our trembling, more voices came.


    ¡°Hoh¡­¡­ What might you be talking about? They are not rats, there cannot be such things. Ah, anyhow, really¡­¡­ the news was that you had died.¡±


    ¡°It seems that only the original information was delivered, I am ashamed. Well, I can at least boast at how fast news travels.¡±


    ¡°My¡­¡­ really¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Tim,e out. I don¡¯t have time to go hunting in and that I¡¯m not familiar with. Sorry about not having any tricks, but at that rate you¡¯ll be a rede guest.¡±


    When he interrupted¡­¡­ rather, ignored the other lord¡¯s words and speaking to a person that couldn¡¯t be seen, it was not the person in question, Wilfred, who gave up.


    ¡°My! Truly, in my carriage!? To think I had been unwittingly helping a heinous viin! Argh, damn! To think that he was hiding in my precious carriage!¡±


    Faster than one can flip their hand, Joblin forsook Wilfred and I could hear Joblin gargantuan body distance away from the carriage. There was no time for me to think him filthy for abandoning a partner that he had been working with until just a while ago.


    Wilfred did not stop reaching out. On the contrary, he reached out for the doorknob and rushed out in a posture that was like a brawler. Even so, he did not let me go so we rolled out together.


    .


    .


    From the world where light and sound were only leaking in, we were thrust into a world flooded with them.


    The roar of the rushing river. The wailing wind that would not lose to such a river. The boisterous birdsongs and the slightly startled yet somewhat serene sigh of soldiers. The feigned fuss of the people from Darich.


    ¡°Hey, Tim. Thank you for the pretty exciting gift. It must have took a lot of time, sorry about that.¡±


    And his rather raspy voice.


    .


    .


    Jumping off his horse after saying so, his eyes shone. Stronger than the stars in the night sky, a softer gold than the sun.


    On the left side of his face, there was a trace of something like burns from his ear to his neck, possibly from the poison¡¯s effect. He was noticeably emaciated. He had bags under his eyes, his cheeks were hollow, his voice was hoarse and hisplexion was as pale as that of a dead man. Maybe he didn¡¯t have much strength, since he was not moving much, merely resting his shoulder against the horse.


    However, his eyes didn¡¯t change. The golden shade that held life.


    Behind the carriage, there were the people from Gimii, led by Isador.


    In front of us, in our way was Kaid and others. Behind the armed soldiers, I could see something like a fence. The road was blocked. Looking at at that, it might not have been just a while ago that they arrived.


    Right. Otherwise, they could never havee.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Why, how are you alive.¡±


    Still holding me tightly, the moan crawled across the ground.


    ¡°Why are you here, Kaid Falua!?!¡±


    Something like the primal roar of a beast strode past the rocks and echoed in the sky. An earsplitting cry. A yell containing so much rage that the human voice almost could not be heard. A rage barely forming words.


    As the thundering voice vibrated air and steel, a soldier from Laius spoke up.


    ¡°Tim¡­¡­ his lordship¡­ you really did that¡­?¡±


    Tim was at the estate longer than I have been and he got friendly with most people quite well. There were many people who were close to him. He was someone like that. I could see himughing with snacks with the soldiers. Teasing, bantering, making fun of, poking fun at,forting and consoling.


    I saw him smile like that often.


    ¡°Why¡­¡­ why, Tim!?¡±


    Even as the soldiers from Laius seemed toment, Kaid didn¡¯t change his expression and shrugged lightly.


    ¡°I died as you wished. I reunited with my father after a long time. However, my servants were strict. I was woken up by the head maid. Seriously, my heart was pounded. Carolina must have been doctor or something. The angel¡¯s fists are tough, or so Imented aftering back, then I went back to dying again from the second fist that came flying.¡±


    When Kaid entered a coughing fit, the soldiers I remember seeing nked their armour. Kaid stopped them and let out a long breath.


    ¡°Looking back, you who was said to not harm people nor animals gave me such a passionate gift and moved Shirley for me. I was so moved that I even came here to thank you in person. ¡­¡­I don¡¯t know who you are, but aren¡¯t you getting too ahead of yourself?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­You¡¯re the adulterer. I wonder if you can tell from that, you poor aristocrat from the hicks.¡±


    From Wilfred¡¯s body that was trembling with rage, I could hear small bottles ng. Even when I struggled to free myself from his grip, he did not budge, a mysterious strengthing from such thin arms. Even when I dug my nails into him like before, he did let out a single groan.


    .


    .


    From Wilfred¡¯s words, the corners of Kaid¡¯s mouth curled up. His eye teeth rested on his lips like fangs. With an expression too grand to be called a smile, heughed as if he was howling.


    ¡°I see. I suppose I¡¯ll congratte you for not running away with your tail between your legs, loser.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what the mongrel who bit its owner said.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll say this now, but I only regret not being able to apologise to that person. Actually, I regret having been too tame in getting you.¡±


    ¡°Shitty mongrel.¡±


    ¡°What, loser.¡±


    At the front were the soldiers from Laius, led by Kaid, behind there were the soldiers from Gimii, led by Gimii and in a mediocre position were the people from Darich. They didn¡¯t back away probably because Joblin was too slow, but I could also see another reason why from the exhausted eyes that were shaking from trying to keep up with every sentence.


    Even I could tell, so the two must know. A vulgar duel of words without any clear hits continued.


    Slowly, Kaid stood without leaning against the horse and swept his cloak to his back as if it were a hindrance, revealing his sword belt.


    ¡°Let¡¯s stop this here. Your strongest point, the disguise, is now off, and the person who was yourst ray of hope abandoned you. ¡­¡­It¡¯s not much, but I can at least give you alcohol and listen to yourints. So let¡¯s stop. I can¡¯t die for you.¡±


    ¡°Even if you can¡¯t die for the princess?¡±


    Kaidughed softly.


    ¡°That¡¯s a hopeless death.¡±


    ¡°Then die, mongrel.¡±


    Kaid didn¡¯t react to those words. Heughed very softly.


    ¡°However, I made her cry. I wille back however many times if I made mydy cry. For that reason, I don¡¯t care if I¡¯m not human anymore.¡±


    .


    .


    I could hear his tongue click. So that he could escape the arrowheads, Tim grabbed me tightly every time I moved slightly. I grabbed the arm that was holding me. So that it won¡¯t be shaken off, I gripped him tightly.


    ¡°¡­¡­Let¡¯s stop this. This won¡¯t achieve anything. Nothing wille back, nor can we return anywhere, you know that as well, don¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°It can¡¯t be helped. Otherwise, there was no meaning for me to be born as me.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t know such things.¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t even have your feet on the ground, nor swam up but sank, yet you say that¡­¡­ as if you can change that now. As long as we are us, as long as this ce is Laius, as long as that guy is alive, as if anything can change! It¡¯s the same for you!¡±


    ¡°Yes! It can¡¯t change! As long as I feel like this, I can¡¯t live like everyone else! Still, I want to be able to say that I¡¯m d to have been born! Since I was reborn after all that, I want that! Here, in Laius, I want to be able to live and say that¡­¡­ I wanted to be like that. In that mansion, was there nothing, nothing that you liked? Nothing that kept you there?¡±


    He learned nothing after spending time with those bright and nice people. With those people who were nice enough to not ignore this ugly and depressing woman. Did he really rid himself of those memories?


    Looking past me, Wilfred stared at the soldiers from Laius. He narrowed his eyes slightly. Then his lips loosened somewhat.


    Then he smiled like a child having a sweet dream.


    ¡°Then, why don¡¯t you die with me, princess.¡±


    ¡°Tim!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s impossible to survive. I can only live as me. This grudge is my only reason for existing. This memory is the only thing that confirms that I am me. And, you are the only proof.¡±


    A strength belying his soft voice held me tightly. Rather than hold me, it was as though he was he was forcing me to be a part of him. Even though I tried hardest to get away, I couldn¡¯t even breath from the force.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to disappear alone.¡±


    The strength was tremendous, but the voice was more pitiful than that of a lost child.


    No matter how much he prays, no matter how much be tries to take me, we can¡¯t be the same.


    There can¡¯t be people who are the same, yet he murmured no in a crying voice.


    ¡°Please, let me go.¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°You won¡¯t be redeemed even if I die!¡¯


    ¡°Yes. You¡¯re also a pitiful girl. For me, for the wolf, for you, there aren¡¯t good people around us. It would have been nice if there were people not like us, but better people¡­¡­ like Samua.¡±


    As he lowered his body, I was slowly dragged outside the road. The ground was barely even enough to be called a road so outside that thend turned into a ce of rocks and pebbles and dust.


    And from below, a rumbling noise could be heard.


    ¡°Don¡¯t bother. Even if you jump from there, I¡¯ll always catch you.¡±


    There as still some distance to the cliff.


    As Wilfred moved with me in tow, the circle surrounding him grew smaller and smaller. The soldiers from Laius and Gimii were on the road, readyingssos.


    It was me who was in the way. I knew that, but I could hardly breath because Wilfred was too strong.


    ¡°It¡¯s not yours.¡±


    My neck was grabbed and I was pulled hard. Not only did the buttons go flying, I could even hear the fabric tear.


    ¡°She was mine from a long time ago.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­What about it. I was promised, so I won¡¯t fall for such taunts.¡±


    My neck was gripped tightly once more. While stifling me, a small bottle shook in Wilfred¡¯s hand. That, the only use for that is just for killing me, yet he was holding it dearly.


    ¡°I see. However, it doesn¡¯t change that she¡¯s mine!¡±


    He swung his arm and threw the bottle towards everyone.


    Everyone used their cloaks, shields, luggage, something to cover themselves.


    However, that small bottle was aimed at nobody.


    ¡°Everyone, get away!¡±


    Seeing that quicker than anyone, Kaid¡¯s yell and the sharp scream of a horse ovepped. The small bottle shattered against a horse and burnt its skin.


    .


    .


    .


    The six strong horses that could pull Joblin¡¯s carriage suddenly charged in pain and confusion, towards the soldiers from Laius. The horses and carriage that turned into a living weapon rampaged and stampeded the soldiers and other horses as if they were stepping on bugs.


    ¡°Let¡¯s meet in the next word, wolf!¡±


    Taking me with a swift movement, Wilfred threw me down the cliff and followed.


    ¡°Mydy!¡±


    Not noticing that his cheek was bleeding from the shards from a carriage, he did not stop his feet. Before I could imagine the worst, Kaid jumped too.


    Screams and yells came from many ces as the weapon frenzied about.


    Without minding those, he stretched his hand out and I too stretched my hand out unconsciously.


    .


    ¡°Ha, hahahahaha! So it¡¯s you next! Enjoy the warped life, wolf!¡±


    .


    Wilfred held his belly inughter as he fell alone.


    Together now, the two of us disappeared into the currents as well.

 Chapter 17: The afterlife, of you and me

    <h4>Chapter 17: The afterlife, of you and me</h4>


    ¡°¡ª¡±


    ¡°¡ª¡±


    I hear the voice of the wind calling me, turning me around abruptly.


    In the middle of the flower garden where flowers in myriad of colors bloom profusely, I saw a big, white sunshade. Surrounding the round table underneath it, everyone was there.


    I lift the fabric of my skirt that seems so long that it will entangle with my legs. I wonder why. I wear this kind of dress all the time, but somehow I find it a little annoying now. Tilting my neck, I arrive at the ce where my family is.


    ¡°¨C ¨C, you must be hungry, aren¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°¨C ¨C, look, it¡¯s your favorite pastry from the capital city.¡±


    ¡°¨C ¨C, oh, you,e and sit here.¡±


    ¡°¨C ¨C, it¡¯s cold over there, right? Sit under this sunshade. It¡¯s warm over here.¡±


    Grandfather, Grandmother, Mother, and Father are all smiling.


    There are five chairs around the round, white table. One of them is pulled out, nting diagonally.


    This is my chair.


    On the table, there are beautiful sweets lining up, made from the diligent effort of the capital¡¯s chef. The pastries aren¡¯t even the slightest less pretty than the flowers in the garden. Everyone is eating until their cheeks are full.


    As I see them from the side, the sweets which are crumbling down again and again to the flower garden, look delicious.


    On good weather days, almost everyday, I had tea with everyone just like this.


    But today feels slightly different than usual.


    Grandfather, shaking a small, transparent bottle of alcohol, looking through the ss against the light.


    Grandmother, while humming a song, making dark blue embroidery using many kinds of purple threads.


    Father, who usually puts his cigar out as soon as he started smoking it, now chewing the cigar in his mouth without lighting it up.


    Mother, who, doesn¡¯t wear her usual shiny hair essories, looking at the mirror with such a happy face, styling her hair by hand repeatedly.


    Those are undoubtedly the usual scene, but my chest feels so suffocated that it hurts. Painful, so painful, the water starts overflowing.


    ¡°¨C ¨C, what¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°¨C ¨C, where does it hurt?¡±


    ¡°¨C ¨C, you have it bad, hurry and sit down.¡±


    ¡°¨C ¨C, where does it hurt? Come, let your mother take a look at it.¡±


    I turn around to look at everyone whose expression quickly changed into sadness.


    ¡°¡­kh!¡±


    When I heard a voice different to that someone, my lips moved.


    If I have to give a name to this thing inside my chest, it would be feeling so full of devastation that you can¡¯t breathe. Now matter how many times I inhale, inhale to fill that emptiness right there, it¡¯s already fully packed that the air is forced back out.


    This is the usual scene.


    The usual, the mundane.


    A gentle illusion.


    The words I want to let out are hindered by the water overflowing from my eyes.


    Grandfather. Grandmother. Father. Mother.


    I want to ask all of you about a lot of things.


    For my family who is looking at me with worried expression, I form the words soundlessly.


    Why did all of you raise and teach the just to me?


    Oppressing people, trampling their dignity, neglecting their lives, taking only for your selfishness. Why did all of you, who did all of those things, tell me that those were wrong? Why did you teach me that those things that you did were neither natural nor forgivable, that they were certainly evil and not just?


    I was the only daughter, thus if I married Wil at that time, I would enter his household, never getting out of there. And then, until the day I die, until Laius perishes, I would live in that miniature garden. I would only take what I see, I would only ask for those you show to me. That way, I certainly would have lived without even knowing that my family was evil.


    That¡¯s why, I became warped without realizing it.


    Grandfather. Grandmother. Father. Mother.


    The reason why you never let me out, was it because you didn¡¯t want me to know that you were evil? Did you regret teaching me that the evils were evil?


    Treat people kindly and gently. Do not ever use offensive words. Do not ever hate people. Do not ever beat someone. Do not do the things I wouldn¡¯t like to receive, to someone else. Even if I have no interest myself in something, there are others who will think of it as something precious, so I must never look down on them with contempt. Do not ever take away someone else¡¯s treasured possession. Do not ever do shady things. Let¡¯s believe in someone who doesn¡¯t have a shrewd mind. Do not ever doubt someone or suspect about their ill will, and let¡¯s always put on a smile. Let¡¯s experience things firsthand, instead of just listening to someone else¡¯s experiences. Let¡¯s think positively. Let¡¯s have fun with everyone. Let¡¯s believe in people¡¯s kindness.


    You taught me all of those. Everyone has their set of values, so I must not deny them. Let¡¯s treat people kindly. Let¡¯s be kind. Let¡¯s be a good and kind child. So that people will like me, I have to be a good child.


    Yes, you always said those things.


    ¡°¡­.kh!¡±


    I finally understand now, that warped thing.


    Your mouth with which you taught me those things, that palm you used to rub my head, those feet you ran and rushed over with when I fell down. What you actually did with them.


    And still, why didn¡¯t you think that you were just? Why didn¡¯t you ever say that oppressing people was allowed for those in our positions?


    If only you did, if only I was raised that way, I would just be a soul who knew nothing but grudge. I wouldn¡¯t believe in kindness; I would resent, curse, envy those smiles, the warmth of those people; those things wouldn¡¯t be precious to me.


    What exactly was I to all of you?


    Were you unable to change? Even by looking at me, were you unable to?


    My vision was blurry, I couldn¡¯t see my family. The water flooding from my chest, keeps spilling over from my eyes.


    Can I believe that, the moment you preached those virtues to me, it wasn¡¯t like you feel nothing? Can I think that, all of you were human beings, even just in those times? The kindness you showed to me, why, to the others, why, at least, the reason you stopped being inhuman, why couldn¡¯t you do that, I couldn¡¯t stop thinking about them.


    If there was anything I could have done.


    I, at least, surely, could have done something. I could have wondered, then I could have noticed, I could have warned you against it. If only.


    If I could, would all of you still exist in this world?


    Or, was there nothing I could do to change the oue?


    I don¡¯t know. Now, no one knows.


    My family, sleeping under the earth, without any concern to my sins.


    His hands had set me free, in thend of Laius where flowers bloom once again.


    ¡°- -¡±


    ¡°- -?¡±


    ¡°- -¡±


    ¡°- -¡±


    Worrying faces, gentle voices.


    My family calls my name.


    ¡°¡­..-dy!¡±


    Ever since that time, you were the only ones who called me by that name. I did wonder why no one ever called me by name, but if someone did, they surely would not be forgiven. All of you wouldn¡¯t forgive it. You wouldn¡¯t forgive anyone besides our family to be around me. I only realized now that it wasn¡¯t only because I was going to marry Wilfred that I was raised alone as the only daughter.


    ¡°- -¡±


    You were the only ones who called me by my name. All of you were gone now.


    That¡¯s why, just take me away like that. Just kill me, like that.


    I really loved how pretty, how beautiful the spell and sound of that name.


    That¡¯s why, somehow, please don¡¯t let mee to life again, take me away.


    The water is flooding until it is deep in my ears.


    I don¡¯t know since when, the flower petals have scattered, my chair has disappeared. My family is the only one here, showing your concern. Your gentle hand, gentle voice, gentle words, gentle look. I really loved them.


    In the ce of the disappeared flower garden, a flower bloomed in solitude. A single flower.


    The flower that sways in the water, as if bathed under the sunlight, singing a song to the wind, blooms happily.


    Yet, no matter how, I can¡¯t see the color. The bloom opens, I can even count the number of valves in it, but the color is the only thing I can¡¯t grasp.


    ¡°¡­¡­.Thank you.¡±


    Thank you for giving birth to me.


    Thank you for raising me.


    As a grandfather, as a grandmother, as a father, as a mother, thank you for being by my side.


    I¡¯m sorry I couldn¡¯t give anything in return. I¡¯m sorry I couldn¡¯t do anything. I couldn¡¯t be anything, for anything, something that could have stopped your ruin, I¡¯m really, really sorry.


    And.


    ¡°¡­..ady!¡±


    I¡¯m sorry.


    I¡¯m sorry, I don¡¯t have the capability to hate. I love him. I¡¯m sorry.


    Even though I¡¯ve been wishing toe to your side that much in these fifteen years, even though I still cannot see the meaning of this life that much.


    I want to live, I want to try to live, I¡¯m, going to live.


    I want to know about a lot of things.


    I¡¯ve never gone out, from the mansion, at that time, and now, from Kayna, but still, this time, I want to see a lot of things, hear a lot of things, this time I want to think about a lot of things by myself.


    ¡°Mydy!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­I wish, you could forgive me.¡±


    Somehow, I wish you could forgive this selfish wish of mine, to live with him.


    ¡°Mydy!¡±


    The breath I inhaled is blocked by the water filling my chest, unable to reach the lungs. My attention is drawn into the intense pain passing through my chest, my stomach vomits the water out with the same force. I flip my body to the side in reflex, violently coughing out water or air, I don¡¯t know which one anymore.


    The arms which supports almost my entirely crouching, coughing body are making me tilt downwards so that I can breathe easier. After breathing out for a while, the burning pain in my throat and chest finally appears, I realize that I¡¯ve been coughing out towards Kaid, who has been holding me.


    ¡°I-it¡¯s filthy.¡±


    ¡°That kind of thing is not important, so please let it all out!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve coughed¡­ everything.¡±


    After vomiting everything, as my coughs turn dry with nothing but air, I feel the burning pain in my repeatedly abused throat. Inside my nose, below my ears, inside my head, they¡¯re all painful as if water runs through them.


    The dull throb in my head tells me that there¡¯s a burning feeling in my body. Even breathing hurts.


    Kaid, who supports by back even when I don¡¯t know if I¡¯m coughing or breathing, finally lessens his strength after ensuring that I won¡¯t pass out.


    His arms show relief to me, so I start calming down as well. When I look around, I realize that we¡¯re in a cavern area. It¡¯s a half-circle nook in a rock cliff. I try to go back to the previous ce, but I can¡¯t draw strength from my legs due to the water, which entered me. Meanwhile, drift wood and grasses are washed over here, again and again. Beyond that, in the scenery of a gaping wide half-circle nook, no light or muddy water is passing through.


    Usually, shouldn¡¯t this kind of ce dry? I stare absentmindedly to the surprisingly growing moss at the surface of the ground. More than constantly dry, though, it¡¯s more like the water usually won¡¯t reach that spot.


    ¡°Where¡¯s, this?¡±


    ¡°In Kolkia. It¡¯s a ce called fortune pocket. There are many things that fall into the stream to get washed up here. There¡¯s an old friend of mine among those who lead the search, they will definitely look up at this ce before anywhere else.¡±


    ¡°¡­..And Wil?¡±


    No matter how hard I look around, I can¡¯t find that small figure of his. Kaid silently shakes his head.


    ¡°This ce is as small as a pocket, but¡­¡±


    Kaid hides his eyes slightly.


    ¡°Did he refuse to be saved¡­.? ¡­¡­¡­That idiot.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­.This stream, where does it lead to?¡±


    ¡°Darich.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­¡­¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­whether I save him or not, with that kind of willpower, he¡¯lle crawling back from the continent soon enough.¡±


    Throwing aplicated look, Kaid scratched his sore nape.


    Going so far as being Joblin¡¯s aplice, Wilfred was obsessed about Laius. If Joblin was honest, he was being pursued by Joblin¡¯s daughter. In Darich, he could probably live like how he used to, but for him, it wasn¡¯t good if it wasn¡¯t Laius.


    We led Laius to its ruin. But even so, this ce is still our birthce. Although we were punished by Laius¡¯ citizen, repelled away from Laius¡­¡­.. no, it¡¯s because we were repelled from Laius, that we can¡¯t go back to anywhere but here.


    If he continues now, if there¡¯s a next time for him, he will still aim for this ce. Even if he is born in Laius, living as Laius¡¯ citizen, he will still aim for Laius. Even though he has no other, no other ce he can go back to, he will live to aim for Laius, and Laius only.


    I feel nothing towards him. No mourning nor sorrow, no anger norpassion. He fits neither of them. I couldn¡¯t decide which kind of emotion should I feel towards him yet.


    When my eyes are fixed upon a particrly violent ssh of waves, I slowly get up. My eyes noticed the golden color.


    ¡°Mydy?¡±


    My hands are wet. I coughed out all of the water with my strength just now, there¡¯s mud all over me, I feel cold as the temperature goes down.


    That¡¯s why, it¡¯s hopeless.


    I know that, but my hands can¡¯t stop.


    Without any strength, I grit my teeth and desperately lifts my palm, and Kaid doesn¡¯t move to avoid it. My palm arrives at his mud-smeared cheek. The cheek whose temperature feels burning to my freezing palm, I wonder if it feels hot because I¡¯m cold?


    His body warmth travels to my palm, my tears are welling up.


    ¡°You¡¯re alive¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m alive.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re Kaid.¡±


    ¡°Yes, it¡¯s me. Isidore was so annoying, telling me to relinquish the name of Wolf Lord, that I must be called Elephant Lord since I won against a bear-killer, but for the time being, I¡¯m alive.¡±


    ¡°I, heard the news of your death.¡±


    The town was covered in ck, thementation overturned the sky.


    Even now, I still couldn¡¯t believe it, but arge hand took the hand I used to touch him. With that hand grasping mine, it slowly takes my hand down.


    ¡°It¡¯s true that I died once. They confirmed my death, but¡­¡­¡­¡­ it was Carolina.¡±


    ¡°Caron?¡±


    He clutches his chest, as if recalling something.


    ¡°It¡¯s way too soon, if you die like this, my kinddy will probably mind it and won¡¯t be angry, so thedy who has just properly gotten her rest will curse and get mad and no longer at peace, so just try to die now. While crying, she said those things and hit my chest so hard that I was resuscitated. Even though my breath had returned, she didn¡¯t realize it and gave me a harder blow for the second time¡­¡­. Next time, I¡¯ll leave this resuscitation business to the doctor.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..The good thing about Caron, is¡­¡­. her full strength.¡±


    If I have to give it a name, ¡°fierce¡± would be right, but why do I think that that one word still can¡¯t sum up it all?


    Those golden eyes opens wide and gazes down at me, who doesn¡¯t know which kind of face can I show him.


    ¡°¡­¡­Mydy, please drink an antidoteter.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Why?¡±


    ¡°Your heart stopped once.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­¡­ No wonder I saw my family again. But¡­¡­ did I get revived by poison?¡±


    I¡¯ve never heard about that kind of resuscitation, but there are many things in this world that I don¡¯t know yet. Rather, it¡¯s not too much to say that I amposed of the things that I don¡¯t know about.


    Kaid awkwardly turns his face.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­I judged that waiting for rescue would be toote, so I did the resuscitation. Because there¡¯s a chance that the poison hasn¡¯tpletely disappeared from me, please make sure to drink the antidote just in case.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Thank you.¡±


    When the realization dawned on me, I stirred meaninglessly. I feel my cheeks are heating up. It¡¯ll be bad if I blush, so I covered them with both hands. My cheeks are wet. Of course. I was drowning until just now, of course they¡¯re wet.


    No matter how long I wait, it doesn¡¯t seem that my face will be dry, so I remove my hands from my face and grasp tightly my chest, which has been throbbing with pain for a while now. I happen to know multiple causes for that pain, but somehow, I begin to think that they¡¯re not the whole reason.


    ¡°Kaid, my chest hurts.¡±


    ¡°Forgive me. I did it with the appropriate amount of power, for a while, but there was no response, so I increased the power. There¡¯s a possibility that it was strong enough to create fissures in your rib bones¡­¡­ The fissure would be my fault, but you¡¯re also too thin, your bones are too weak from malnutrition. Please eat properly.¡±


    ¡°Yes, thank you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not saying that you have to eat a lot at once, but please increase the amount of food you eat, little by little. And meat. If you¡¯re not good with meat, then fish is good too.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°The head chef, he thinks that a young woman will eat if the food is pretty, so he started to carve kittens from carrots, and created goblins instead. If possible, please eat them as they are. His vor is first ss, but his ting sense is nonexistent. He¡¯s a genius, one who regrly challenges himself in food carving which can stun the customers, so please take it into consideration.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    I can only nod at Kaid who suddenly starts to talk in length. I¡¯m not surprised or bewildered. I really can¡¯t do anything besides nodding.


    ¡°Ah, that¡¯s right. I want to raise a request to change the name of Liberation Festival. From now on, I want it to call it the Resurrection Festival. I just think that Wolf Liberation Festival is too much, but that¡¯s just me. Mydy, is there any kind of name that you wish for?¡±


    I nned to simply nod and say yes.


    But when I think that it¡¯s probably not a suitable response, I already can¡¯t speak.


    ¡°¡­..Please don¡¯t cry.¡±


    I should have coughed out all the water, yet I can¡¯t stop this from overflowing. It doesn¡¯t run out no matter how much I spill it, it feels even more natural in this world than breathing.


    I¡¯m confining myself in Kaid¡¯s arms which has been touching me, filling me with unwavering strength. Like that, once the warmth of the embrace that holds me tight so that I won¡¯t be wounded spreads to me, it¡¯s already hopeless.


    That¡¯s right, I¡¯m crying. I can¡¯t figure out when it started, but I can no longer stop even if I want to.


    ¡°I-I thought you were dead.¡±


    ¡°Please forgive me. I don¡¯t have time to wash a lot of things away, so the first news wasn¡¯t corrected. I made my move only with my closest aides. It¡¯s my bad to decide from my inexperience¡­¡­¡­.. Mydy, mydy, mydy!¡±


    I desperately lift my arm, clinging to him. It¡¯s warm. He¡¯s alive. This warmth, the heartbeat I can tell from touching him, they show me the signs of life, and I can¡¯t stop my tears all the more.


    I¡¯m gripping his wet clothes and holding him tight by ignoring the pain in my body, but Kaid softly removes himself.


    ¡°¡­¡­Mydy, I¡­¡­ I know that don¡¯t have the qualification to argue with you, nor do I have the rights to pursue you. But, but, mydy¡­¡­ Can I treat this as the afterlife? Can I have my life now as my next? Will you forgive me if I start it here? Right now, the promise you bestowed to me, can I hang onto it? Kh¡­¡±


    His posture now, isn¡¯t even that of a knight nor a retainer.


    With his dripping wet, worn out body, he¡¯s down on both knees, both of hisrge hands are trembling, grasping my weak hand¡­¡­ my fingertips, barely. He¡¯s grasping just a tiny part of my body, a part asrge as barely covering one toe, gluing his forehead, his neck drooping low, looming in silence.


    ¡°¡­¡­I love you. I¡¯m in love with you.¡±


    Right now, which light is carried by that golden color?


    ¡°I, love you.¡±


    No matter what, I want to see it.


    Both of his hands, which have been grasping mine, are slowly remo¡­ ¡­staying there, actually. I wonder if I¡¯m too weak to put the strength to my hand, but no matter how hard I try, it doesn¡¯t move an inch, as if our joints are melding together. It¡¯s not as if I¡¯m that weak, but it seems that I can¡¯t put enough strength to shrug them off, no matter what I do. I¡¯m amazed, it seems that my ribs are really broken.


    I give up from trying to retrieve my palm, then sigh.


    ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m troubled.¡±


    Startled, hisrge figure is shaking. With the other hand that he¡¯s not holding, somehow I¡¯m already touching his freezing cheek that he jumps in startle.


    ¡°I already nned to seduce you.¡±


    Then the time passes for a full five seconds.


    The body thatpletely stopped moving finally stirs to move again. So that I can reach thepletely still figure for a long time, I¡¯m smiling at the head that slowly lifts up.


    Disturbed or disturbing, Kaid is finally opening up, I can see the base of his neck and his corbone. I look at the blue flower swaying on his chest, which naturally makes me smile so wide that I even surprise myself.


    ¡°I could see your face atst. Fufu¡­¡­ You¡¯ve be even more like Helt now, Kaid.¡±


    ¡°Mydy¡­¡­?¡±


    His expression has be more masculine, the childish roundness is all gone, and his countenance is more haggard now. And yet, it looks like Helt is here. That foolishly mouth gaping look on his face looks impossibly adorable, and to think like that, I¡¯m certainly already hopeless.


    Without warning him about his loose spontaneous expression, I touch the swaying flower on his chest.


    ¡°My words to Jasmine were really cruel, but¡­¡­ she delivered it to you.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­ Had you said you were throwing it away, she wouldn¡¯t be able to pick it up. Yet, you said that you were going to leave it. That you were leaving it here. That¡¯s why, she said, she picked it up and delivered it to me¡­¡­ The flower¡¯s meaning makes me unwilling to return it to you, but this is the connection between you and Jasmine, so I¡¯m returning it.¡±


    I¡¯m astonished when he reluctantly removes the new chain. He has fixed it for me.


    ¡°Kaid, did you know about flowernguage?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­In the past, mydy asked me to attach the blooming flower in the garden to something¡­¡­ so I studied it. Although, afterwards, I had no interest further than studying about whether it was poisonous or not, whether it would bear fruitter on or not, and if it would taste bad.¡±


    ¡°I-it¡¯s not like I meant the meaning of all flowers.¡±


    ¡°I knew that, but a man is someone who will cling to what he receives from his first love, pondering if the flower has any meaning to it or not.¡±


    I thought that a woman was not that different, but I¡¯m cornered all of a sudden.


    Kaid looks up at my startled face with strange expression.


    ¡°Mydy?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­..First love?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right, though?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­I didn¡¯t know that.¡±


    ¡°I see. Even I, too, didn¡¯t know that mydy was thinking to seduce me. ¡­¡­¡­¡­Am I allowed? Right now, truly, treating this as my afterlife.¡±


    It¡¯s agonizing, each of his words, spoken cautiously. It¡¯s so full of longing, so much that it hurts.


    ¡°Even if it¡¯s not the afterlife, it¡¯s alright, it¡¯s fine now. I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m fine with it, it¡¯s alright, Kaid.¡±


    I draw his face with both hands as his golden eyes widely open.


    ¡°I love you.¡±


    I yearn for you.


    You are my precious.


    ¡°I want to live, with you.¡±


    I lost my home, parting with my family, losing sight of myself.


    Even so, this love is the only thing I won¡¯t let disappear.


    ¡°I want to know about a lot of things. About other towns, other viges, about the town where you can gather that delicious tea. This time, I¡¯m going to see a lot of things, know a lot of things, I want to live. I want to know about everyone¡­¡­ and about you, too.¡±


    A drop of tear stains his cheek. The tear that falls from his wide-opened golden eyes traces over his cheek, then drops from his jaw. And then, following the same path, my tears also overflow, bouncing off the ground.


    I open my mouth, thinking to say something, but I close the trembling lips again.


    It¡¯s the first time I ever see a grown-up man crying. Moreover, this is the first time I see someone with overflowing tears without even noticing it.


    ¡°Don¡¯t cry, Kaid.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­You¡¯re crying too, mydy.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s true, we¡¯re a match.¡±


    Bumping our foreheads, we chuckle together.


    ¡°¡­¡­Mydy, I will, be 30 soon, do you mind it?¡±


    ¡°An older man is good.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Does that mean a younger man isn¡¯t good?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­You, have quite the troublesome personality, don¡¯t you?¡±


    I burst inughter at Kaid¡¯s childish pout. Since I think of this soon-to-be 30 years old man as someone irresistibly cute, love is truly a troublesome thing. And, as I expected, it¡¯s a wonderful thing.


    Kaid, whose face grows constrained from beingughed at, is so charming, so lovely, that I want to do something that I couldn¡¯t do in the past due to embarrassment.


    His face that overlooks me is already wonderfully close, looking confused, so I¡¯m moving to take his lips.


    ¡°Y-you can¡¯t, mydy. There¡¯s poison,¡±


    ¡°What are you saying now, when you¡¯ve already given me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­That¡¯s, well, true, but¡­¡­¡­¡­. You said it while blushing,¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because you stopped me¡­¡­ and aren¡¯t you blushing too? Aren¡¯t you, like, what, thirty?¡±


    ¡°Almost, but not yet¡­¡­ Please, stop. A man¡¯splicated first love isn¡¯t something to be teased.¡±


    ¡°But I¡¯m a woman who also experienced aplicated first love, so we¡¯re a match.¡±


    Kaid casts his eyes downward, one hand on my lips and his other hand covering his own face. From the gaps of his fingers, I can see him making a¡ªis it a moan or groan¡ªno, I can¡¯t even tell if it¡¯s a voice or sound in the first ce.


    ¡°¡­¡­So that¡¯s it, that¡¯s the way.¡±


    After sighing so deep that it seems his lungs be empty from it, Kaid lifts his head up.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to say this because you don¡¯t seem to have any self-awareness, but under the basis of a sheltered girl¡¯s purity, innocence, and immaturity, along with an aristocratic magnanimity, natural disposition of sincerity, and gentleness being generously disyed, radiating them to your servants without any discrimination, the servants feltplicated. I was unable to say this, but for the sake of making the end as the end, the servants who was intimate with you, mydy, were all feelingplicated. Just please, know that none of this was any of their faults only.¡±


    I don¡¯t understand the point of what Kaid wants to say, but for the time being, I do understand when he called me a sheltered girl. For now, I think it¡¯s better to wait until he says everything he wants to say to the end. Obediently waiting him to continue, Kaid wraps my cheeks with both of his hands. He¡¯s doing the same thing I did to him just now.


    ¡°It was always on my mind, but, if strength was added to those, you would have be an unbelievable witch. Looking at you now, your family was doing the right thing to shelter you.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean¡­¡­? Is it about me being called as the Witch of Laius? Not as Fruitless-Bearing Flower?¡±


    ¡°Please stop radiating to that scale. Please, show them only to me.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Just to Kaid¡­¡­¡­¡­ Did you just tell me to be the Wolf¡¯s Witch? To be the demon?¡±


    I wonder if it was because how presumptuous of me to bepared to a flower. As much as I don¡¯t think that I was being so hated to the extent of condemning me a new nickname posthumously, I meant to understand Kaid¡¯s feelings, but as I thought, I don¡¯t get what he¡¯s trying to say, at all.


    I told him the gist of it, and Kaid groans again.


    ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m saying that even if you live in the street, mydy is indeed mydy.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­..And that means?¡±


    That golden color is getting closer.


    ¡°That means, I wonder if I¡¯ll be feelingplicated throughout my whole life.¡±


    The contact onlysted for a split second, but to be able to make me feel this euphoric, love is really troublesome.


    And even that troublesome-ness is precious. Even more than that, he¡¯s precious. This feeling that¡¯s neither yearning or love, emptiness or misery, sorrow or joy gushes forth from my chest, and yet it¡¯s also all of them mixed together. It bes tears that fall from our eyes, that we see in each other, that neither of us notices in ourselves.

 Chapter 18: You, me, and the world’s rule

    <h4>Chapter 18: You, me, and the world¡¯s rule</h4>


    ¡°Is anyone here¡ª-!?¡±


    Maybe it¡¯s so that they won¡¯t lose out to the muddy waters, or maybe it¡¯s the volume of his feelings. Their feelings.


    As the barks and the reverberating loud voicese to my ears, I push Kaid away, not expecting to hear signs of people so sudden. Kaid looks at me who openly runs away, with a face that won¡¯t say anything.


    Have I hurt him? Have I shown him that I want to treat everything until now as nothing, that I hated him after all?


    I don¡¯t think like that at all. It¡¯s just, a little, a bit, startling, there¡¯s no way I could hate him.


    Then, I properly receive the punishment for recklessly hurting Kaid, who has only been thinking about my interest: My chest hurts from moving so sudden. My heart hurts, but my chest also hurts. It hurts so much that I can¡¯t breathe in or out.


    Kaid panics and supports me, who¡¯s crouching and groaning. I¡¯ve hurt him, but he¡¯s so kind. Groaning, I clutch to Kaid¡¯s clothes.


    ¡°I r-really love you.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­..What are you saying in this situation?¡±


    ¡°Because, I pushed you away just now¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­I¡¯m going to act conceited, I didn¡¯t feel hated so much that I was despaired from that. If anything, what you said just now is more shocking.¡±


    ¡°Ah?¡±


    Kaid, supporting me with one hand and covers his face with another hand, groans.


    ¡°Hello! Is there anyone here¡ª!?¡±


    The voice that roars for the second time echoes with a tinge of sobs. Kaid makes a deep, deep sigh, then lifts his face up in a sh.


    ¡°There are two here! But, Tim was washed away! Keep looking with haste!¡±


    ¡°My lord!? My lord! ¡­¡­.Aah, you¡¯re alive!!¡±


    The voice of a youth goes through a whole range of emotions. Shock, doubt, delight, delight, delight. Then, his voice is raised to another direction from us, faint as if being damped by the muddy stream in front of me.


    ¡°The lord is alive and well¡ª!¡±


    The cheer I¡¯m hearing now sounds wet with tears, so much that the youth¡¯s voice can¡¯t begin topare.


    Their triumphant voice rises up, with gross sobbing that doesn¡¯t lose to the muddy waters.


    The cheers also don¡¯t lose out to the down pouring sobs from the sky, until Kaid raises his voice.


    ¡°I get it, so keep looking for Tim! It¡¯s a race until the border of Darich¡¯s territory, go!¡±


    That¡¯s right. Wilfred can only be searched within Laius¡¯ territory. Beyond them, it¡¯s no longer under Laius¡¯ authority. It bes the issue of Darich, of Joblin. How vexing.


    Kaid¡¯s authority exceeds another fief¡¯s lord¡¯s in Laius. In Darich, Joblin has the higher authority. It has to be that way. If there¡¯s a lord of that fief, unting his authority as the lord of another fief is heavily inexcusable. It¡¯s so extreme that the territory might suffer a military upation, were it to happen.


    Kaid can only search within Laius¡¯ domains. After that, once it¡¯s out of his jurisdiction, he can¡¯t proceed toy his hands or have his way with it.


    Hopefully, Wilfred can be found. At least, I hope he¡¯s alright.


    I have no idea whether surviving this will be his salvation or not, but I think so. Even if it¡¯s more cruel for him that way¡­¡­ I still think so.


    ¡°Hah-! Should we dump it together, then?!¡±


    ¡°Yeaaah!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll do it too!¡±


    Why are they saying ¡°then¡±, I wonder with my head slightly tilted, and a stone, fastened into a rope, was thrown before me. Kaid, who receives the rope that¡¯s securely attached to something on the other end, strongly tugged the rope several times to test it.


    ¡°What is that rope for?¡±


    ¡°This is a hollow area when the water volume is low. When the water level is high, no once can enter this area from above. That¡¯s why, we fasten our bodies with this and get pulled up from above.¡±


    ¡°U¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°I will lessen mydy¡¯s burden as much as possible. ¡­¡­.Before that, I apologize as ofte, but, would you pleasee here?¡±


    Holding my chest as if it will creak just from breathing, I imagine myself being fastened to the rope while being pulled out. Just imagining it feels painful, truly. It seems that the pain shows up on my face, as Kaid¡¯s face turns apologetic.


    I need to be pulled up anyway, so it¡¯s not my ce toin, and he has told me that he¡¯ll make it as less painful as possible. The moment I start to calm down, I tilt my head at the wrinkled garment that was given to me.


    It¡¯s wet, naturally, but still dried than the clothes we both wear. It can be seen from the wrinkles, actually. Perhaps I feel too numb, but that coat isn¡¯t that cold. We¡¯re already drenched, so it won¡¯t be anything different, I think. Or, will I be wrapped in thick clothes until the rope doesn¡¯t dig painfully to me? Then I finally understand.


    Concluding by myself, I receive the coat that can¡¯t be said to be light at all. The water has been squeezed out as much as possible, but it¡¯s still really heavy. My father¡¯s coat was also heavy, and my grandfather¡¯s coat was probably the same. A nobleman¡¯s coat is heavy. I don¡¯t know about Wilfred¡¯s coat.


    Privately, I think I like the coat of the majority of themoners who live in the street, donning light coats. However, the texture of this one is definitely better. I guess I really am a selfish person.


    Kaid looks at me, who spreads the coat that I received, with aplicated look in his eyes.


    ¡°Kaid?¡±


    ¡°Ha¡­¡­ No, nothing¡­¡­ Does your neck hurt?¡±


    ¡°Neck?¡±


    That¡¯s right, Wilfred did something to it, I believe. My eyes look down upon the tattered clothes that he vited until it exposed my neck and chest. It hung low on my chest, while the neck part is already hopeless, of course.


    When I look at Kaid, demanding for exnation, he made a stubborn look that won¡¯t say anything, nothing at all. It¡¯s not the face that ¡°won¡¯t say anything¡± because he doesn¡¯t know how to exin it. It¡¯s an expression that holds a lot more anger and sorrow than chaotic thoughts. However, it seems to be directed beyond me, because I will feel even more chaotic for sure. It¡¯s that kind of his ¡°won¡¯t say anything¡± face.


    ¡°The teeth mark,¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­The teeth mark. Aah, the teeth mark¡­¡­ That¡¯s right!¡±


    I instantly tilt my neck, recalling the source. Now that I recall it, I was bitten by Wilfred. It¡¯s not strange that he left a mark; it was really painful. Afterwards, things happened one after another, so Ipletely forgot about it.


    I¡¯m pressing closer to Kaid with vigor. Kaid looks taken aback, a little. In introspect, it feels indeed improper, so I kill the momentum and go back to my previous spot, but as I thought, I have been a little more enthusiastic.


    Because it was my first, you know? After I could properly feel my emotions, I do feel excited for my first time.


    ¡°Listen to me, Kaid!¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°You know, I did it for the first time, I brawled in a scuffle for the first time!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­yes?¡±


    ¡°Now, and back then, I never did it, ever, but I properly got into a brawl, you see. Compared to my first time in a fight, Wil was stronger, but I properly scratched him and let my kicks fly.¡±


    Before, without any siblings, nor peers close to my age.


    This time around, as an orphan, there were peers, but with whom I didn¡¯t build a connection.


    I¡¯ve messed around before, of course, but I never got into a fight. My first fight, a big fight where I scuffled and grappled. I think my first experience was a huge sess. Isn¡¯t it something that I could boast about?


    ¡°Wil was soon beaten in the face. That¡¯s why, I think I properly returned the things he did to me. If I work hard, even I can fight. I admired a warrior in the book I read a long time ago, so much that I yed pretend with a broom, you know? I was berated for acting improperly, it was quickly confiscated from me, but I really admired them back then.¡±


    Both my hands balled into fists, Iugh as if saying, how¡¯s that.


    I thought Kaid would be surprised for me, but he doesn¡¯t move an inch, covering his face with one hand. By what I could see from the gaps, his eyebrows turned into a deep wrathful frown.


    ¡°That bastard¡­¡­¡±


    With the word that seems to spit out his annoyance, he unwraps my fists one by one. He grasps both of my hands once again, his shoulders falling down to the sides.


    ¡°¡­¡­So I was hopeless, after all.¡±


    ¡°No, mydy, you are admirable. It¡¯s just, that man is,¡±


    ¡°Wil is?¡±


    ¡°Under any kinds of circumstances, don¡¯t forget that he harassed you if you gave him the opportunity to. The fact that you showed the willpower to rebel against him is really worth admiring, so I was thinking what I could give to you as a reward. If I meet him again, I¡¯ll hit him until there¡¯s no trace of his original form. I¡¯ll hit him a hundredfold of how he hit you, mydy.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Six hundred times, is a little too-¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­So he hit you six times? I understand. I¡¯ll kick him instead.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s also a bit¡­¡­ I wonder what should I do.¡±


    I tried to imagine Wilfred being kicked six hundred times, but it was difficult. I could only imagine both sides being out of breath.


    ¡°I¡¯ll return the hitting part to him by myself, so, if it¡¯s alright, I¡¯ll be happy if you teach me how to throw a punch.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll prepare Wilfred until there¡¯s no trace of his original form first.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­I think there¡¯s something wrong with that.¡±


    Kaid sinks into silence taciturnly, starting to tie the rope to me silently instead. After tying the bottom and the legs, he¡¯s leaving the rest of me and says ¡°Pardon me¡± as the only warning before holding me in his arms. Because my position is changed, my chest is back in pain and my breath stops, but I¡¯m enduring it.


    ¡°Mydy, how painful is your chest? If I lift both of your arms, will it be all right?¡±


    ¡°Wait, a bit¡­¡­. It hurts, but I¡¯m fine. What should I do?¡±


    ¡°Please wrap your arms around my neck, and fix your body in ce. I¡¯m sure it will lessen your pain.¡±


    ¡°I understand¡­¡­¡­¡­ P-pardon me.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Mydy. I beg you, so please forgive me at least for now, if I¡¯m loosening up or putting my strength in strange ces.¡±


    ¡°Which one is it?¡±


    ¡°Either one. We¡¯re going. The shock will arrive soon, so please don¡¯t ever let go.¡±


    While holding me up in his arms, he enters the water while choosing the spot along the wall. Inparison, the water stream feels calmer.


    Kaid tugs on the rope and inhales several times. I know it because my chest is pressed against him. It¡¯s very embarrassing, somehow.


    ¡°Pull!¡±


    ¡°Yes! He¡ªy, pull over¡ª!¡±


    I only remember up to that point. To be urate, I can only keep my consciousness up to that point.


    The rope, as a tool being constructed for the sake of speed to pull us out, was pulled by horse and soldiers. After we climb out, there¡¯s only one word that I remember in dazzling rity.


    That it¡¯s definitely not just ¡°a little shocking¡±.


    After we got pulled up, a lot of people were rushing over excitedly. The great joy conveyed by their eyes, voices, arms, was also directed towards me.


    I¡¯m d, I¡¯m really d to be alive, I¡¯m really d to be okay.


    Let alone being unable to do anything, I¡¯ve even spread the cmity to their precious lord, telling those things to those kind people. Even among them, there are people who wouldn¡¯t ept those words. We, were there.


    I shake off the glimpse of thought.


    Wrong. This isn¡¯t that kind of ce to think like that. Let¡¯s focus on showing them honestly about how happy I am. I want to be able to think that it¡¯s okay to be happy. Let¡¯s receive honestly those feelings in me. Because I¡¯ve decided to stop thinking that I must go and take the gloomy path.


    ¡°Kaid! Myd¡­¡­¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Myd?¡±


    Isidore who parts the crowded people to arrive here quickly presses his mouth close. One of the soldiers repeats him in confusion. Isidore, who bes the center of attention, ps his mouth open and close more than once, then finally decides to open his mouth as if he wants to say something.


    ¡°M-mymb¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Yourmb!?¡±


    He must be unable to withstand it, to raise his voice to the Gimmi army.


    ¡°¡­¡­Do I look like it?¡±


    ¡°Look, like it?¡±


    ¡°Ah no, Isidore-sama even slipped, so I must look like one.¡±


    ¡°Ah, maybe, you do. I didn¡¯t know he ever has anymb, though.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t either. Oh, right.¡±


    I¡¯mparing myself and the imaginarymb. Well, in the past, I was also someone who knew nothing but books, so I couldn¡¯t me his excuse.


    Isidore clears his throat once, rising his eyebrow, as I remove my hand from Kaid¡¯s shoulder, whose arms had been wrapped around me.


    ¡°You¡¯re always reckless.¡±


    ¡°If I stick to the impossible, it probably will turn out right.¡±


    ¡°As if, you idiot! ¡­¡­You too, mydy, at least you¡¯re safe, above all.¡±


    When I hear those words that he whispered, I respond with a smile.


    However, soon I must retract it. Splitting, for the sake of passing through Isidore, the crowd has been dispersed without being noticed, parted once more. I realized who could havee to part the crowd wider than before, even if I didn¡¯t want to.


    I whisper to Kaid¡¯s ear.


    ¡°Let me down.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s impossible without cutting the rope, and I¡¯ll refuse anyway.¡±


    Between those mutual whispers, I secure my nail to the knot. However, the weight of two people has strained the rope and made the knot way too secure. If I untie this, the knot will be worn out, probably. I can only give up on the idea of removing myself.


    While doing so, exactly as expected, the other party shows up, without a happy face at all.


    It¡¯s like waving apletely thick lump of meat all over, without putting it down.


    ¡°Oh no, no¡­¡­ Do not do the impossible. But, all I could say is as one would expect from the strength of your fortune, that you can neatlye back to life. Or should I say, as one would expect from Laius¡¯ lord, huh?¡±


    ¡°To receive such words from Darich¡¯s lord, what an honor. However, are you all right? Our acquaintance is to be married, if I¡¯m not mistaken. I wish to extend my congrattions as well.¡±


    ¡°Ho, ho, ho¡­¡­ To receive Laius¡¯ lord¡¯s congrattory address, it is the greatest delight. Now, then, for the sake of passing it to them, I need to excuse myself from here. As long as Laius¡¯ Wolf is going strong, even Darich will not be touched. Everyone, you must rejoice. Isidore-sama, I wish for your well being as well.¡±


    ¡°You as well, Joblin-sama.¡±


    The two lords and one lord¡¯s representative lightly bow their respects to their surrounding soldiers, who receive the deeper bows from the servants and retainers.


    Laius¡¯ soldiers, Gimmi¡¯s soldiers, no one touch a single hair of Darich¡¯ hands.


    This is Laius¡¯ territory, but it still doesn¡¯t matter. If there¡¯s no clear evidence against another lord, he can¡¯t be put into trial. If one wants to punish the lord of another fief, one must ask for an audience with the king, taking all of the sound proofs avable. Then, one must abide by the rules. At most, a lord is the ruler of a fief. The ruler of a kingdom is the king. Without the king¡¯s approval, another lord will not be able to be put on trial. If he does, it will nurture the rebellious spirit towards the king. Anyone who bypasses the process will be deemed as breaking the king¡¯s authority.


    Within that short moment, it was unthinkable to gather the proofs and present it to the king.


    That¡¯s why, there¡¯s no option but to let Joblin go back home from this ce. There¡¯s no reason to stop a homesick lord. Even though everyone in this ce knew what that man actually did.


    The eye that is smashed by the meat is looking at me. Is he thinking of how to make use of me? Is he nning to use me for his own gains?


    While being held by Kaid, my feet aren¡¯t even on the ground, I understand that I don¡¯t even look appropriate, but I pull my chin and cast my eyes downwards.


    ¡°It¡¯s regretful that I cannot attend the wedding.¡±


    There¡¯s no one here who¡¯d criticize the rudeness of a single maid, speaking to the lord of another fief without any prior permission. Not even Joblin himself.


    ¡°Ho, ho¡­¡­. What, it¡¯s just about styling your ck hair, though.¡±


    Joblin, who deres in nonchnt tone, can¡¯t act nonchnt when the meat is dangling before him no matter how it looks like, squinting his eyes as he looks at Kaid.


    ¡°Your choice, the next generation of ¡®Treasured Flower of Laius¡¯ will be scrutinized by the whole kingdom. Plucking a woman whose origin is unknown to anyone, it is in your best interest to protect it carefully.¡±


    ¡°I am greatly obliged to heed your warning. I¡¯ll let the soldiers escort you until the fief¡¯s border. I wish you¡¯ll extort caution, were an unforeseen ident happens.¡±


    Only the muddy stream is visible, swirling into a vortex in menace, raging right to our ears.


    In that kind of circumstance, only the hidden meaning of the words will swirl into a vortex of a human, stowing away the rage inside the body.


    This, is a farce.


    Anyone knows this, a farce that anyone wants to end, but no one is willing to step down before the other, from the stage.


    This kind of stage will end only when someone destroys something. And then, the culprit who destroys this stage, will be hailed throughout the history as the victor.


    That thing, from a long time ago, is something that exists from the first time human came into being.


    Because that is the rule of the world.

 Chapter 19: The return of you and me

    <h4>Chapter 19: The return of you and me</h4>


    We stopped once at Kolkia town, bathing in hot water, washing the dirt, and adjusting our outfits.


    The town that was cleared away from the ck, mourning clothes, adjusted itself for the festival¡¯s preparation. Each house was adorned with many flowers, the decoration chiming from the wind that I couldn¡¯t tell whether they were made of colored ss or gems, both adults and children were in high spirit.


    I wouldn¡¯t have expected that the ck clothes were hanging to cover these decorations. The ash-colored town ispletely buried in many colors instead, just like a flower field in spring.


    However, as much as I regret it, I can¡¯t see Kolkia town properly.


    The reason was Kaid; as soon as the news that he was well started to spread, he must return to the mansion as fast as possible. Moreover, I am also to return with him.


    If that was the only reason, there wouldn¡¯t be any problem to gaze outwards from the window, but an incident urred. After the hot bath, I broke into fever, had my wounds treated, and had a medicine to reduce the fever. At that point, it was still good, there was no problem at all. However, the antidote that I got at the end, was the problem.


    I tasted something sweet at first. Thinking that the antidote was unexpectedly easy to drink, a misunderstanding, I¡¯m sure it was for protecting me.


    I even became unable to tell if it was bitter, spicy, hot, or cold. Moreover, I literally felt separated from my senses. You see, the sweets that Kaid carried all the time, for some reasons, could it be that they weren¡¯t for feeding hungry kids, but to cleanse his pte from the antidote¡¯s taste? It was a huge shock when he poured the antidote into my mouth. I couldn¡¯t even tell the taste. It was a shock of that scale.


    The doctor spoke that consuming it raw might be too harsh with its taste. Also, he had tried to improve the taste for a long time now, but somehow, after all these years, the taste had be even more potent.


    Turning his face away, he must have recalled the moment he said that. That was not an exaggeration, joke, or anything as such; that was the reality I couldn¡¯t escape from.


    ¡°Sobs¡­¡­.¡±


    I feel that the shocking taste still remains in my mouth, so I spit out the difort while groaning. Every time my consciousness returns, I drink some tea and get some sweets, but the difort is so stubborn that it¡¯s scary.


    Inside the carriage, I¡¯m lying t on my right side, where my chest doesn¡¯t hurt. There¡¯s a light, warm nket draped over me.


    While the carriage was hurrying, out of concern for the impacts, the view from the slightly open window was too rushed, but it was quiet when we started dozing off.


    Yes, we.


    In my one-sided field of vision, I saw Kaid sitting across me. With his arms crossed, he even snored a little, and I stare at him absentmindedly. Different from me who dozed off all the time, when we passed the town, Kaid rode a horse, disying their lord¡¯s well-being to the townspeople, easing their anxiety. Starting from the ce he passed through, the mourning ended. Right now, all across Laius, the news of the lord¡¯s safety must have spread.


    The lifted curtain didn¡¯t say ¡°Liberation Festival¡±, it was ¡°Wolf Resurrection Festival¡± instead. Kaid, who worried about whether it would be established as such from now on, was really cute, but that¡¯s a secret.


    Though he must have been way more exhausted than I am, his posture never revealed that exhaustion, not even a word of it. As a lord, he¡¯s done splendidly. However, as a human being, I wonder if it¡¯s alright.


    If Isidore is here, he would have said something, but even though we set together to the mansion, he¡¯s not in the carriage with us. He was riding a horse instead with the other soldiers. I know that since we marched in hurry, the number of carriages was kept to a minimum. Still, even though it would be better if we were in the same carriage, he said ¡°absolutely no way¡± without any hesitation. Tilting my head and looking at Kaid, who responded by saying that ¡°if I were in Isidore¡¯s shoes, I would have declined too¡±. I wanted to cry to their straight faces, had I been snoring too loud!? They both strongly denied it, but I was too anxious to sleep on my back from then on.


    While listening to the ttering wheels as they spun, I¡¯m still staring at Kaid absentmindedly. His eyshes are unexpectedly long, though unlike a girl. It¡¯s just mysterious. Mysterious, interesting, strange, so much that I want to get closer to look at it, until I can tell everysh apart, until he feels ticklish or itchy. It¡¯s a luxurious problem for me, whose rtionship with him is close enough to be forgiven for it, something embarrassing and to be proud of, making me feel as ticklish as I thought.


    When I put a nket on him until it covers his mouth, his golden eyes fluttered upon without saying anything. He blinks twice, three times, searching until he finds my eyes, then smiles tenderly. It drew the nket up until it covers his nose.


    ¡°Mydy? Do you need to drink?¡±


    I wryly smile unconsciously.


    ¡°That is what I said when you were awake just now. Great job, Kaid.¡±


    ¡°I can sleep along the way, so it¡¯s not that much.¡±


    Does Kaid say something like that in this harsh trip, because it¡¯s his thoughtful act, or because he¡¯s too used to his rigorous training? I thought it was both, maybe, let¡¯s catch up with him this time.


    ¡°Where are we, now?¡±


    ¡°Please wait a bit.¡±


    Taking his head out from the window, Kaid confirmed by looking at the immediate surrounding. He took out the map from his chest, then spread it in front of me. If it¡¯s raised, we¡¯ll stop instead, so, there¡¯s no other option but to open it whileying down. Making it easy for me to see, folding both of his knees on the floor, Kaid¡¯s face is close. I look at him more than the map that he exins by pointing his finger, so I turn downwards, feeling flustered.


    The ce he pointed to me was further along the way than I thought. At this rate, we¡¯ll be arriving at the mansion when the night falls today.


    ¡°That¡¯s surprisingly fast.¡±


    ¡°If we go in a straight line, it¡¯s to be expected.¡±


    Perhaps he¡¯s right. Since we don¡¯t need to pass through the road of ndslide blockade¡±, ¡°washed away bridge¡±, or ¡°sunken vige¡±. Thoroughly, it looks like a detour. Still, Joblin has a fit body. He must have chosen to cross the path that waspletely safe from the beginning. The narrow paths and those with unsafe bridges were used, so it wasn¡¯t hard to estimate the path he took.


    I¡¯m staring at his ck hair swaying as he turns the map upside down in order to figure it out. He¡¯s all grown up, that kind of thought, suddenly came to me.


    ¡°Hey, Kaid.¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°As I thought, I keep correcting my words, don¡¯t I? No matter how I think about it, this treatment to you, the fief¡¯s lord, is definitely rude.¡±


    As I told him the thing I had in mind all the time, Kaid looked utterly displeased.


    ¡°Please spare me. If I receive a humbled down gesture from you, mydy, I want to die.¡±


    ¡°I-it probably won¡¯t be that far. ¡­¡­Hold on, don¡¯t tell me, you weren¡¯t even nning to return to the mansion?¡±


    ¡°Eh?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Eh?¡±


    Silence falls.


    From the slightly open window, I can see the cloudless sky, feel the wind that is just as refreshing, but inside the carriage, we are wrapped in speechless atmosphere.


    Would this be the reason why Isidore didn¡¯t want to get into the carriage with us? I can sympathize with him, somehow.


    Inside the carriage, a sudden meeting had begun. A meeting of two, but somehow, there¡¯s not a glimpse of a festive mood in it.


    The agenda is about us, from now on.


    We both find our knees very interesting. Kaid stretches his body with a snap, but before, I tried to do so with great difficulties. But still, we stretched as much as we could.


    ¡°Kaid,¡±


    ¡°Yes, mydy.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Uhm, you know, my name is Shirley Hince.¡±


    ¡°I have known about it.¡±


    I wonder how I should say it, so I just speak while squeezing my brain. At any rate, there¡¯s the way to engage in a discussion without touching, but I think that will result in mutual difort. I don¡¯t want to fight him either¡­¡­. We never fought before. Never in brawls, of course, but not even a verbal argument. Not only with Kaid, with anyone.


    I never had anyone who was close to my age, being raised among adults. Hence theck of fight I ever had. It was difficult to meet someone else in the first ce, let alone having someone who treated me as an equal, not that anyone was ever allowed to.


    As that thought passed my mind, it sounds as if I want to have an argument, but to say that I want it to happen right now is a no.


    Holding the forefinger and the middle finger, I lick my lips that¡¯s already dry without being noticed.


    ¡°Hey, Kaid. My current self doesn¡¯t have the blood of a royalty. I¡¯m not even the daughter of an aristocrat.¡±


    ¡°Even so, it doesn¡¯t change the fact that you are still mydy.¡±


    ¡°You are the fief¡¯s lord, and I am a maid. With my current ce, I have to call you Master. Actually, that¡¯s the reason why I shouldn¡¯t speak to you this way. Even I knew that.¡±


    In that sense, I knew that I couldn¡¯t do it with my position. Originally, I must wait until Kaid starts the talk, as my master, but Kaid seems to be intent on waiting for my turn instead. Thus our talk never really started.


    Even now, I¡¯m making a face that sincerely shows my thoughts, without treating it as a joke or sarcasm.


    ¡°A more exalted figure than you are, who else could it be but the royal family who lives in the royal pce?¡±


    ¡°Kaid.¡±


    Kaid turns his head towards me, which now looks as troubled as I am. No, it looks like he¡¯s in more agony, more despair than me. But even so, those golden eyes were so dazzling that they looked like they were almost burnt out, even now, even when they looked like they would melt into tears.


    ¡°¡­¡­I beg you to forgive me, mydy. For me, mydy is mydy. I didn¡¯t believe that mydy could have trulye to love the likes of me. You were, truly, an unattainable flower. Your figure, your voice, your words, your feelings, everything that you gave to the world, every single thing was beautiful, and I thought, all the time, if only I could serve you. How joyous it would be, were you to live at the end¡­¡­ From the beginning, I am a man who lives to serve under someone. I even wished, of having you as my only master, living only for your sake, protecting the Laius where you would reign over, how good could it be. I wished to that extent.¡±


    My eyes are wide open at his confession.


    I had no clue that he felt that way. People like him truly wished for a stupid thing. I don¡¯t have the slightest ability to govern thisnd. I didn¡¯t see a thing, didn¡¯t hear a thing, a woman who had willingly submerged herself in the only happiness that was given to her.


    No, it was a fact that he already understood. That¡¯s why, he didn¡¯t choose that road. Maybe it¡¯s more urate to say it must have been a road that he couldn¡¯t choose.


    If he chose that road for Laius at that time, it would be the same as choosing Laius¡¯ copse. More than copse, a crueler rebellion, or even war, could have happened.


    If he left a single person from the lord¡¯s family, the main cause, alive, and even cing her in the position of the lord, what could have happened? There was no way that someone as clever as him couldn¡¯t figure it out. Even someone as foolish as me could notice.


    The principal offender was our aristocrat family, to the bitter end. But even so, only giving a severe punishment and cing me in that kind of position couldn¡¯t have been something good. Laius would be enveloped in disputes, in war. If things were handled awkwardly, even he could have been punished.


    That¡¯s why, from the depth of my heart, I¡¯m d that his reasoning won.


    I¡¯m apletely cruel woman, to feel this relieved at his unfulfilled wish, but this is the only thing I feel relieved about.


    Looking at my appearance, with his own face in a bitter smile¨Cor is it suffering there?¨CKaid continued.


    ¡°But even so, I fell in love with you. And, you, too, came to like me. How could it happen, to the likes of me, I¡¯m still thinking about that. ¡­¡­However, I¡¯m truly sorry. I cannot give it up anymore.¡±


    Kaid covers his face with both hands, looking downwards. He¡¯s all grown up now, no longer in his youthful stage, and yet, I could see his irritation, just like a little child.


    ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m truly sorry, mydy. Perhaps, this part of me, isn¡¯t a pretty or noble thing such as fondness or love. No, a long time ago, it truly was. It¡¯s probably just my wishful thinking, but at least, it was something different than what I feel now¡­¡­ However, now, it has melded with obsession, with greed, turning into something brutal and self-centered. Therefore, now, I could no longer let go of your hand. I¡¯m sure that I am¡­¡­ not a single bit different than him. Forgive me, forgive me, mydy. I couldn¡¯t bestow upon you kindness and warmth, I still touch you even as unsightly as I am. I beg you, please, forgive me.¡±


    That voice which begs for forgiveness gradually turns hoarse, then finally diminishes. His crossed fingers make a creaking noise, as if his muscle and bones is going to break out of his skin.


    Have we entered a t road? Compared to before, the shaking has increased. Even so, along with the small shakes from the rattling carriage, I¡¯m looking at the top of his downcast head. Even in this kind of circumstance, I couldn¡¯t help but to absentmindedly notice that his hair still whorls clockwise, same as before, that long time ago. While thinking that I had been looking at this head too, back then, I exhale a deep, narrow, long breath. I figured out that whenever I exhale my breath, the strength will further break my bones, but still it grows stronger.


    ¡°¡­..In that case, I have to think of a way to exin to everyone, so that there won¡¯t be a problem from now on.¡±


    As I said it, his head that stubbornly cast downwards, twitches.


    ¡°Thinking about something like that isn¡¯t exactly my forte, but¡­¡­ that¡¯s right¡­¡­ I will be my lord¡¯s wife. That¡¯s why, what should I do, if you stay afraid, using honorifics at me? I might touch upon the lord¡¯s dignity¡­¡­ but, as the lord¡¯s wife, I¡¯m sure I could do it, leave it to me. A long time ago, I studied by reading Mother¡¯s and Grandmother¡¯sdylike correspondences, as well as Father¡¯s and Grandfather¡¯s gentlemanly correspondences. In thedylike correspondences, there was a column for ¡°A Skillful Way to Make Rounds in the House¡±, while in the gentlemanly correspondences, there was a column for ¡°Today¡¯s Submission to Her¡±, so I knew about a lot of stories.¡±


    It used to feel like the talk from a farawaynd, somehow, some talk that would never have anything to do with me. They had no sense of reality, I read them just like I read novels.


    I figured that the day woulde when that knowledge would be necessary, if it¡¯s my current life. But Kaid somehow only stares speechlessly. Since it¡¯s the face that finally looked up, it¡¯ll be good if he¡¯sughing happily instead, in my opinion.


    ¡°¡­¡­Excuse me, mydy?¡±


    ¡°What is it~?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.Am I allowed, to marry you?¡±


    ¡°E.¡±


    It was my turn to turn pale. That was an assault that made me so embarrassed that my blood felt like being drained, I unconsciously cover my mouth with both hands.


    ¡°Th, that¡¯s right. I¡¯m, now, no longer a noble¡¯s daughter, I don¡¯t have any good background anymore, it¡¯s hopeless to be a fief¡¯s lord¡¯s wife. No, I, suddenly, acting like this, I¡¯m sorry. That¡¯s right, we¡¯re lovers. It¡¯s fine with me. I will definitely support your wife. I¡¯ll never butt in, or threat the wife, or¡­¡­ Can we at least reach the town first?¡±


    Thinking about shameless things spontaneously, my head is hanging from being too embarrassed that my chest hurts. I was being haughty. We promised to live together, but his social status and mine this time around are too far apart, so how could I spontaneously think like that?


    My downward vision was obstructed by his hand. I lifted my flustered face, Kaid was there, before myp. There was his face, looking paler than mine, fading to blue, even.


    ¡°I, I¡¯m sorry. A friend. A friend, isn¡¯t it? Yes, a friend¡­¡­¡­.. is probably hopeless, though¡­¡­ A contact¡­¡­ An acquaintance¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Please stop getting even further away. Why are you only using your aristocratic sensibility for that part? It is fine to register you as someone¡¯s adopted daughter if you¡¯re worried about social status, moreover, I think it won¡¯t be a problem at all. If mydy could find it to forgive me¡­¡­ the master of that mansion is you, mydy.¡±


    No sooner than saying all those things, Kaid grasped my hand with both hands and bumped our foreheads. It wasn¡¯t just the fingertips like he did in the cavern, he¡¯s holding my whole hands this time.


    ¡°¡­¡­Am I allowed for that, mydy? I¡¯m this kind of man, I didn¡¯t prepare a ring, or anything.¡±


    Peeking on his golden eyes, my shoulders lose their stiffness. I¡¯m so d that it¡¯s not a misunderstanding on my part. Being together with him in this life within our hearts is all right, but if possible, I want to live a life where I can be forgiven for being close enough to touch him with my position.


    With my hands in his grasp, his lips drop to my forehead.


    ¡°Then give me your oath. Give me an oath that from now on¡­¡­ this time around, we¡¯ll be happy, and we¡¯ll be happy together.¡±


    His fluttering open eyes is such an adorable sight. At first, that¡¯s the only thing in my mind, then that love is overflowing.


    It¡¯s good that Kaid doesn¡¯t move this time, since for the second time, my kiss drops above his eyelid.


    ¡°As the fief¡¯s lord, it¡¯s no good to address me like this, but¡­¡­ if that¡¯s Kaid¡¯s wish, it¡¯s okay. I¡¯m going to work hard to fulfill Kaid¡¯s wishes. Even if I can¡¯t give it directly to you, it¡¯s okay, it¡¯s okay, Kaid. Tell me all your selfish desires. I want to listen to your selfishness. If you¡¯re too cruel, I¡¯m going to scold you, be mad at you, pout at you. That¡¯s why, calm down and tell me. I want to know your selfishness. I want to know your wishes. Hey, Kaid. I wonder if you¡¯d tell me the wish you desire so much to kill for. Little by little, I don¡¯t mind no matter how small it is.¡±


    This time, I kiss the hands that grasp mine.


    My vow.


    ¡°I¡¯m in love with you, Kaid. Obsession or greed, if it¡¯s yours, I¡¯m happy. Love is this kind of thing, isn¡¯t it? I¡¯m sure I¡¯m the same, too. Because we¡¯re lovers, you see. It¡¯s not a strange thing at all.¡±


    Don¡¯t bow your head. This is the road that you paved, so don¡¯t bow in front of me. Don¡¯t drown yourself in reasons. Don¡¯t throw away the road where you live as Kaid.


    ¡°Speak selfishly. I¡¯ll do the same. This time around, I won¡¯t lie. It¡¯s okay to have a small secret, but let¡¯s talk a lot. Teach me a lot of things. The things about you that I don¡¯t know about. Then, I wish you¡¯ll listen to the things about me that you don¡¯t know either. We both have troublesome characters, so if we don¡¯t talk often, I¡¯m sure there are things that we can¡¯t convey. Hey, Kaid? I¡¯m not seeking to mend things with you. We¡¯ve already separated once. That¡¯s why, this time around, I want to start with you. Let¡¯s think. The way to do things as ourselves. Let¡¯s shape it on our own.¡±


    I did the same thing. I could find excuses everywhere, but saddling myself with those things will only make me depressed.


    ¡°I want to be your happiness.¡±


    No matter how deep I¡¯m sinking or drowning, the hell has no bottom. Struggling in agony, dragging other people to the same ce. When I look at the people I¡¯ve hurt, it is an infinite quicksand.


    ¡°I want to be happy.¡±


    But, please.


    If you hold me, do it for me.


    ¡°I want to be happy, with you.¡±


    More than you can reason for, hold me tight.


    Because I¡¯ll do the same for you. Because this time, I¡¯ll live it through.


    Kaid gazed downwards, and I could hear a long, long sigh from his smiling face. While holding my hands, he rubs his cheeks to my stomach. He¡¯s not heavy, but the stubble on his face is ticklish. My hands are full, so I close my eyes while rubbing my cheeks on his ck hair. Did heugh? I could tell that his body slightly shook.


    ¡°¡­¡­You¡¯re too bold, mydy. I¡¯m 30 now, but I feel pitiable.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve lived for fifteen years, it feels like I could finally breathe now.. ¡­¡­Uhm, too enthusiastic¡­¡­¡­.. I did as I please, is what it is, I suppose. Uhm, forgive me for acting as I please?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Mydy, is there anything you want selfishly ask?¡±


    His muffled murmur doesn¡¯t press me, so I think a little.


    ¡°You¡¯re right¡­¡­ I, want you to release my hand.¡±


    With the hands that he released in an instant, I hold Kaid¡¯s head.


    ¡°Then¡­¡­ that, uhm¡­¡­¡­¡­ let¡¯s return to the original topic.¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    I pushed his head down with all my strength despite him wanting to lift it up, he gradually settled into my arms obediently. That way, I hide my happy, blushing face in his hair.


    ¡°¡­¡­It¡¯s true that I thought you were strange as the lord. I didn¡¯t lie either when I said that if it was your wish, I wouldn¡¯t change my attitude and speech. But¡­¡­ I-if we¡¯re lovers, your¡­¡­ That, uhm¡­¡­¡­¡­.. I want to, uhm, see, your rxed, less formal self¡­¡­ and, that, uhm¡­¡­ if you can call me, by my name, Shirley, I¡¯d be truly happy, so¡­¡­¡±


    It¡¯s not like I want him to rock me back and forth in hisp like Father did, though that¡¯d be cute too; I just think that it¡¯ll be good if he put his defense down with me.


    But, this is truly just my selfishness. I understand that I¡¯ve be so embarrassed that my ears and neck are too feverish. His head, which has been obediently staying still, has started moving again, so I panic and press it down again.


    ¡°Mydy.¡±


    ¡°No way.¡±


    ¡°I want to see your face.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Mydy.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s my privacy.¡±


    ¡°Shirley, I want to see.¡±


    My breath stops. That, just now, is just, too much.


    ¡°You said you¡¯d let me see your expressions.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­No.¡±


    ¡°Show me.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­.You¡¯re too much.¡±


    This is too much.


    My mouth curls in displeasure, I mess around with his defenseless hair. And yet, the face that he slowly turns to look up is looking terribly mischievous. I wonder where the man with child-like tear-stained face has gone to.


    Matching him, I¡¯m sure I¡¯m blushing so hard that it¡¯s improper. My ears, my cheeks, my nape, they must have been breaking out in fever even though they¡¯re not touched. Staring hard in point nk at this face, Kaid hums in a sing-sang voice.


    ¡°So cute. Shirley, you¡¯re so cute.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­.You¡¯re bullying me.¡±


    ¡°Haven¡¯t you figured it out already?¡±


    His canine tooth peek out from his parting lips.


    I¡¯m sure that was a smile, but his feral look told me I was the prey.


    ¡°I¡¯m actually really evil.¡±


    From our ovepping lips, I could taste the sweet candy and the antidote.


    The town where the mansions resided was filled with unprecedented loud shouts of joy. The whole town was decorated three times as much as preparation for the festival, all of them was devoted to the joyous return of Kaid. This was surely as merry as being in the festival itself.


    Their greatest joy was represented by such a big volume that I couldn¡¯t even hear what I was saying.


    Kaid pushed out the window, facing the people outside, waving his hand with a smile, and I looked at him. Until the very end, Isidore refused to apany us in the carriage.


    His ¡°I was kicked by a horse¡± reason was something that no one told me. When we took a break and climbed down the carriage before, I realized that I was seen by everyone in the flesh like a hot potato. It made me blush hard.


    Kaid threw a glimpse at me, then his lowered hand made a signal. I leaned my head and sat beside him. When I did, he hugged my shoulder in the unseen angle from the outside. I wondered if he noticed and wryly smiled.


    The carriage stopped. The reason was neither for break, falling into mud, nor a broken wheel.


    We¡¯ve finally arrived at the mansion.


    My tightly grasped forefinger and middle finger are as freezing as the midwinter, but they are damp with sweat.


    I said the cruelest things. I vomited the words that would cruelly hurt the kind people by choice.


    That was caused by Wilfred, but our rtionship was the root of it.


    I don¡¯t know what kind of eyes await for me beyond this door. I knew about Kaid¡¯s exnation for them while dashing with his fastest horse, that I was taken as a hostage. I¡¯m sure they were concerned about my condition. They are that kind of people. I knew that. They are not people who would me or rebuke me for shouting those thoughtless remarks while being held hostage. I knew that.


    I know that, but my limbs are shaking. There¡¯s a ttering sound from my teeth.


    Because, you see, this ce was where I was convicted.


    There were many cheers, rejoicing, wishing for my death. The excited voice of those who were happy ovepped with the excited voices of those who were set free; they were a little, just a bit, too intense.


    As my head hung low, the door was open, blowing wind onto me. If I look up, I¡¯m going to hold onto Kaid¡¯s hand, who has climbed down before me. Without hurrying, I reach out his smiling and waiting figure. I lean one of my arms until my chest won¡¯t be in pain, stepping out of the carriage while slightly bending down my body.


    It¡¯s all right. It¡¯s not burning hot. That red color was in the past. There¡¯s no longer redness in the sound, in the smell, nor in anyone¡¯s eyes.


    I keep telling them to myself. My heart is more sluggish than the clock tower¡¯s bell, but it beats with all its strength.


    This time, my arms won¡¯t be twisted, I won¡¯t be forced to prostate on the ground. There¡¯s a hand that will support me, so I¡¯m not afraid. It¡¯s scary, but I¡¯m not afraid. I¡¯m all right.


    I stop chewing my lip, and slowly lift my head up.


    As if it had been waited for, the voice were in unison.


    ¡°Master.¡±


    ¡°Mdy.¡±


    ¡°Wee home.¡±


    A row of people lining up, bowing at the same angle, made the trembling I¡¯ve been having to disappear. Only bewilderment remained.


    I understand if it¡¯s Kaid. This ce is Kaid¡¯s territory, Kaid is the lord of this fief, the head of the mansion. The master. The righteous. That¡¯s the way it is.


    Wee home. I get it too. You see, because this is Kaid¡¯s mansion.


    But.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Mydy?¡±


    Pondering dumbfoundedly, I look up to Kaid.


    It¡¯s too much of a surprise. Kaid wryly smile and push my back forward, a little.


    The one leading the bowing people whom I¡¯ve be familiar with, Kaid¡¯s aide and direct subordinate, the head butler and the head maid, and then, people who are somehow too scattered in the lines. Just like Caron, these people are always here.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong, you guys? I¡¯ve brought Shirley back as I promised, you know? Carolina, you¡¯re frozen, Jasmine too, aren¡¯t you nailed to the ground? The people behind you are restless and stuck, you know?¡±


    Hearing Kaid¡¯s words, Caron slowly lifts her head up. Just like her, the people around there are looking up. And then, with a crumple.


    With a crumple, their faces distort.


    Among them, the oldest man is well past his middle age, but everyone is equally on the verge of tears, and I look back at Kaid, who pushes me forward. Kaid, making a mischievous expression, leans his body and whispers to my ear.


    ¡°I only told Carolina.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Only?¡±


    ¡°I left it to her to choose whom to tell¡­¡­ Most likely, all of your former staff already knows? If their looks are any indication.¡±


    Mdy, I look at them again in sudden realization, at the quivering voices.


    Caron and the others walk forward, one staggering step at a time, and copsed right before my feet. In their folded position, none of them moves an inch, so that they don¡¯t break into tears. I¡¯m unable to move too.


    ¡°We have been waiting for you.¡±


    ¡°Caron.¡±


    Caron starts sobbing.


    ¡°To have you, return, all well, from the depth of my heart, the same as everyone, from our deepest hearts, we have been waiting.¡±


    The voices, in unison.


    ¡°Mdy¡­¡­!¡±


    ¡°Shirleeey!¡±


    Only one person burst differently.


    Jasmine jumped out from the neat row. Together with Jasmine, with her messy tears and snots, the others were jumping in. Even Samua started running.


    After that, each one of them raced against one another, until the rowpletely disappeared, no one knows since when.


    Whether she stumbled to it, or if that was her n from the start, looking at Jasmine who jumped and ran forth already made my chest throb in ache before she even arrived.


    ¡°Hey, hold it, Jasmine! I told you, Shirley is injured!¡±


    ¡°Jhaarliiiiiy!¡±


    With Samua¡¯s arms restraining her from the back, Jasmine cries in a mess, stretching her hands out. When I grasp that hand, her face wrinkles again around her eyes. Without wiping away her dripping, overflowing tears, Jasmine is sobbing.


    ¡°Sorry, I¡¯m so sorry, I¡¯ve hurt you, I¡¯m sorry, it must¡¯ve been scary, it must¡¯ve hurt, I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m so sorry, Shirley.¡±


    ¡°Me too¡­¡­ I¡¯m sorry I said those cruel things to you. I chose the exact words that would¡¯ve inflicted pain for you.¡±


    ¡°The fact that I was close enough to you for you to know the words painful to me, I¡¯m so happyyy¡­¡­!¡±


    Jasmine raised her voice in tears just like a child; as soon as the hold to her arms was released, she jumped straight like an arrow, then hugged me like I was fragile. Her light, soft, warm body wasn¡¯t as painful as I thought, so I wrapped my arms around her trembling, flustered back.


    ¡°Boohoooooooooo, Jharliiiy!¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no Jharly here! ¡­¡­¡­¡­Wee back, Shirley. I¡¯m d that you¡¯re all right.¡±


    ¡°Th, thank you. ¡­¡­Uhm, what¡¯s that about calling me mdy?¡±


    I thought to ask to the only person who wasn¡¯t crying, but when I looked up, his eyes were red too.


    ¡°What, you ask, that should have been our line, we knew nothing, none at all. Why, how, since when, I don¡¯t even know, but Shirley is going to marry Master, right? Therefore, since as our Mistress, as the wife, Shirley is still too young, isn¡¯t married yet, to call you Mistress out of no where would make you bewildered, so everyone was mulling over how to call you. It would be good to call you Shirley-sama, but Carolina and the others preferred mdy, and we thought it sounded nice too¡­¡­ Should we change it?¡±


    ¡°N, no, that¡¯s, unnecessary, really. All of you, are good, just as you are. That¡¯s what I want.¡±


    ¡°I see. I¡¯ll address you properly in front of the guests, but otherwise, I agree with you.¡±


    As Samuaughs in relief, I feel relieved too.


    Now, the biggest reason to strain my surroundings in vain respect is gone, I¡¯m no longer a person to be humbled upon. That was one of the reasons, but the treasures I got from this mansion were too many; I felt lonely. That¡¯s why, I want to stay this way.


    Right now, I¡¯m going to look for the shape of things as they ought to be, right here, from now on.


    ¡°Samua, you know, Tim,¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­..yeah, he¨C¡±


    ¡°He loved you a lot.¡±


    ¡°E?¡±


    The eyes he was hiding in pain widens to circle shapes.


    ¡°He really loved you, so he targeted you. He really loved you, so he didn¡¯t let you drink the poison, choosing to drink it himself instead.¡±


    For him, there must be a lot of chances. He could have put it in the food, even mixing it in the ingredients. There really wasn¡¯t any meaning to drink it himself, nor was there any meaning to drinking it alone.


    He¡¯s warped. Defiant. It would¡¯ve been better if he was only those, but he couldn¡¯t even be like that, so he was drowning. His past pushed him down, twisted him around from the depth of hell, kept him in the middle of falling forth.


    Kaid said that he was just like him, but I was the same. He, was my other self.


    ¡°When I see him again, I must sink my fist to that guy. Because I¡¯m his senior, you see.¡±


    Swallowing whatever he wanted to say before, Samua grinned wide. That smiling face was truly dazzling.


    Stupid Tim. Stupid Wilfred.


    You and I are both foolish.


    Even though we had a future here. Even though Laius is, now, facing a different future. Even though the days when only ruin awaited was long gone already, reced by a future that spins the tale of budding smiles.


    Why are we nothing but a prisoner of our past?


    Even though the life that wasn¡¯t born at that time, the smiles in their faces that wouldn¡¯t appear if not for that day, are this precious already.


    ¡°Mydy.¡±


    Kaid holds my shoulders.


    I can¡¯t stop the tears. My chest is in pain from sobbing this heavily, but more than that, it¡¯s painful even deeper in. It¡¯s painful, and warm, and agonizing.


    I have nothing but regrets. I¡¯ve only been making mistakes, hurting those around me, running away, but why is it so, so warm in this ce? The building is different, the garden is gone. Even my family, none of them is around except me, but why does it feel that, even with all of those, nothing has changed?


    ¡°Mdy.¡±


    ¡°Shirley.¡±


    People who know my past self, people who only know my current self, they call me all the same. While crying, whileughing, they have been waiting for me.


    sping both of my hands, I bow deeply.


    ¡°I¡¯m home atst.¡±


    Let¡¯s live in this ce. Let¡¯s live with them. Let¡¯s live as myself.


    No matter what happens, let¡¯s return back here.


    Because, you see, this was once my final abode.


    This is my living birthce, even now.

 Chapter 20: Thus it begins, you and me

    <h4>Chapter 20: Thus it begins, you and me</h4>


    ¡°Mydy.¡±


    I turn around towards the voice that called me. The hair that¡¯s carefullybed cascades to my cheek.


    ¡°Isidore-sama.¡±


    The person who showed up from the hallway¡¯s direction was Isidore. I then thought about that time when we waited for him following us.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine with ¡®mymb¡¯ too, though?¡±


    ¡°Ugh¡­¡­ Please, spare me.¡±


    His flinch made me giggle.


    Atst, both him and Kaid called me ¡®mydy¡¯ like they used to.


    ¡°A long time ago, I¡¯m in your debt,¡± was the only thing that Kaid offered as exnation. Thinking about his age, that long time ago was the time when he was barely a child, but he slippery dodged. Everyone came asking about it, but he weathered all questions and only said, ¡°It was a very, very long time ago.¡±


    I¡¯m no longer wearing a working uniform now. It wasn¡¯t a long,cyden dresses like a long time ago either, but I¡¯m wearing a one-piece-like dress. It¡¯s light blue.


    I¡¯m not permitted to go back to be a maid. When outsiders aren¡¯t looking, we¡¯ll continue acting as usual, so please at least please spare us from returning as a maid, was what Caron and her co-workers petitioned for.


    At first, I thought being resented was a given, since a neer like me stole their precious lord, but I was bewildered when they were so amiable. It was such an anticlimax.


    Like Jasmine, who said, ¡°It¡¯s a great help if the master knows the hardships of being a maid!¡±, or Samua, who said, ¡°The head butler has been crying happily, being in a high spirit everyday, so the job has been easy,¡± or Caron who said, ¡°A Mistress who has the servants on her side is strong, you know, so defeat Master in one swoop.¡±


    I¡¯m really d that people are so amiable, but, Caron, I¡¯m not really here to wage war with Kaid, though?


    The festival was over, the mansion sent off the honored guests, and finally returned to its peaceful atmosphere. I did say ¡°return¡±, but the time is pressing for another event now.


    Kaid decided to return here to sleep normally. Until now, he stayed at a building that looked like a fort near his office, but from now on, it seems that he¡¯ll properly use the lord¡¯s mansion.


    That¡¯s rted to what he wants to do from now on.


    Kaid has been thinking about many things about this time around, he has started to allocate the tasks he has been doing on his own to those around him, gradually.


    Joblin said that as long as he was here, it would suffice. In other words, if he alone was gone, everything would copse. Kaid said that it had no difference to dictatorship.


    Now, little by little, Kaid assigns his tasks to the others.


    ¡°Is Kaid avable?¡±


    ¡°No, he was just summoned somewhere else. He would return in a while, I¡¯m sure, should I tell him that you are here?¡±


    ¡°Ah, no¡­¡­ It¡¯s fine to tell you instead. Can we talk for a moment?¡±


    His voice frowns slightly. I nod and turn to look behind me.


    When I turn around, looking at Jasmine behind me, she could guess what¡¯s in my mind. With a grin, she bows her head.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Jasmine.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be~ Well then, Isidore-sama, please excuse me.¡±


    Isidore waited until Jasmine¡¯s figure was gone from his sight, then started to speak.


    ¡°I¡¯m returning home tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I was told so. I will send you off as well.¡±


    The honored guests and others were already gone while I was bedridden with fever. That was actually longer than expected, though. Despite that kind of uproar, the original agenda of the festival which was supposed to have passed were still around, so I must be thankful.


    ¡°Have you known about what Kaid is doing right now?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    He¡¯s gradually allocating his tasks to others. The job he has been doing on his own until now is impossibly excessive.


    ¡°¡­¡­The session won¡¯t be what it used to be, huh?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Yes.¡±


    I knew what he was trying to say.


    Because this topic can¡¯t be spoken in the hallway, I open the nearest door and lead us in. It¡¯s only a small guest room, but it¡¯s messy with various packages.


    ¡°Is he trying to get rid of the feudal lord system?¡±


    ¡°I think, he feels that it will be a good thing. ¡­¡­I think so, too.¡±


    It¡¯s not going to happen in an instant. It¡¯s about sometime far in the future.


    However, someday, there wille a day when a lord is no longer necessary. Whether it¡¯s and where a single lord can make or break it, or and where a single lord fattens up himself, they are both warped.


    ¡°¡­¡­Did you understand what that means? Other fief¡¯s lords, even the king, will surround you as enemies.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­That¡¯s true.¡±


    And that can hold itself without a lord. Developing a simr system to a parliament, where a single person¡¯s absence won¡¯t affect the whole system. That¡¯s what I want to build. Kaid said that if we could make it so that a single person wouldn¡¯t have to be burdened, or be able to burden themselves alone, that¡¯ll be good.


    That, however, means that even a lord¡¯s presence is unnecessary. It will shake the very core of the current system. The change of Laius won¡¯t remain in Laius only.


    It¡¯s not about changing the lord. If ites to the point where the lord bes unnecessary, the lord from other fiefs will surely oppose it. If the summit of that system is deemed unnecessary, and the idea is spread in thatnd, there¡¯s even a possibility where it will shake even the existence of the king.


    Kaid didn¡¯t say that it wasn¡¯t necessary. A person who holds the position of responsibility is absolutely necessary. However, people turn anxiety into malice. To change that unintentional malice, the titles have to change. It meant that the lords and the king are unnecessary. The idea will possibly spread.


    ¡°¡­¡­No matter what we do, we have a lot of time. Laius itself is vast on its own. In ten years, or twenty years, even beyond that, we want to try to change a lot of things, that¡¯s what we decided.¡±


    ¡°Even if you¡¯ll aplish that far, it will probably revert to what it was. The popce is going to look for a man to bear the burnt. Just the slightest vition from the parliament, the inability to bring the expected result, will make them hold grudge to you two who change the system, or demand to revert to the old feudal system. Then, when the lord makes the slightest vition, they¡¯ll demand to revert again to the parliament system.¡±


    ¡°That might be the case. The path chosen by someone else is the easiest to take. However, it¡¯s suffocating to live without the ability to choose. Isn¡¯t it sad to live without knowing the freedom to choose?¡±


    I¡¯m still learning, too. Right now, I¡¯m learning about a lot of things from Kaid. About Laius, about feudal lord, Kaid taught me without holding back. My head even heated up from all theplicated matters. He taught me about the helpless, fruitless, piercing decisions to make.


    No matter how many years it takes, I must learn. Not just the knowledge, but how to properly use the wisdom.


    ¡°¡­¡­The two of you must selflessly sacrifice a lot more things, even your peaceful lives.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s true. I¡¯ll tell those things to Kaid.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m telling this to you, too.¡±


    ¡°Oh, my. But I am terribly selfish.¡±


    After I said that, Isidore made a face that looked like he refrained from telling me that I was still young. I¡¯m sure that the next lord couldn¡¯t be too readable from facial expressions. However, we aren¡¯t in a public space. Isidore and I aren¡¯t in a rtionship where we would spy out each other¡¯s internal affairs either.


    Having this kind of person by my side, I¡¯m grateful from the bottom of my heart. Living without lying is, surely, a very blessed life.


    ¡°For me, no matter what happens, I¡¯ll be together with Kaid until the very end. This time around, I¡¯ll bear in mind to do anything I can to stay married with him throughout this life. To be liked by the people, to keep Laius from its nightmare, I want to learn, to know, and to choose¡­¡­ However, in the worst case, if the world bes his enemy, at that time, I will betray the world and be the demon with him. It¡¯ll be different to bing the demon back in the past where I saw, heard, and knew nothing. This time I will properly turn into the demon with full awareness.¡±


    ¡°Kaid will definitely never allow that thing to happen, though.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s why, so that he won¡¯t be able to let me go in the middle of it, I need to gain more wisdom. ¡­¡­Moreover, I¡¯ll be working hard from now on so that it won¡¯t have toe to that. I¡¯ll be working hard with everyone. There are cruel people. There are people who can¡¯t see beyond the instant profit they could gain. There are also foolish people like me. However, there are also kind, wise, and strong people. There are many kinds of people even just in a single fief. At the very least, Laius already knew the fear of being under someone¡¯s domination, the dread of being ruled under a powerful individual. Laius knew, more than anyone else in this kingdom, the horror of undiminished power.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s certainly true. In your previous life, it was a necessary reformation, but is it necessary for the two of you now as well?¡±


    ¡°Once this era has passed, people are bound to forget, aren¡¯t they? The pain, the sorrow, as long as the same incident doesn¡¯t happen before their eyes, the masses who live their busy ordinary lives are bound to forget. No one is willing to live only by seeing the sorrow. However, Isidore. We aren¡¯t exactly nning to suffer, you see? Me, Kaid, and even Laius, we are different to what we were fifteen years ago. We can¡¯t be heroes, nor we n to. We¡¯re just trying to throw a small stone amidst this ever flowing era.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Honestly, the two of you.¡±


    Isidore wryly smiles while shrugging.


    ¡°Have you told your story to the maid just now, or the male butler that you¡¯re close with?¡±


    ¡°Once they pass twenty years old and decide to keep working here, I will.¡±


    It was something I decided with Kaid, Caron, and the others.


    It¡¯s not that we can¡¯t trust the two of them. It¡¯s simply that, the moment they know, they cannot escape anymore. They¡¯re still too young to be bound. I think if they want to escape, it¡¯s better if they do. Dragging them out of their will is cruel.


    We still have the time to wait, I¡¯m sure. Because, you see, we haven¡¯t even started anything yet.


    Outside the window, men are passing through while carrying the goods. One of them notices me and waves his hand. I wave back at him while smiling. It seems that Isidore at my side doesn¡¯t realize what¡¯s going on. Ducking his head, he runs as if rushing over. I hope he doesn¡¯t fall over. As I think so, I hear the sound of something huge being toppled over.


    I shut my eyes in reflex. Then, I peek on the swaying window towards the outside. The angle doesn¡¯t seem urate, though, since I cannot see his figure anymore.


    What kind of ce, I wonder, will this ce turn out to be? At least, it won¡¯t be a ce where the servants are always nervous and pale.


    ¡°My symbol of happiness in Laius is the two of you. Do you remember? I was lost in the garden, looking for our rendezvous point.¡±


    ¡°Rendezvous¡­¡­ Yes, I remember.¡±


    I gloss it over with a light cough.


    ¡°You made a flower crown, then put it on top of Kaid¡¯s¡­¡­ of Helt¡¯s head. Helt sulked in embarrassment. Youughed. In my childish mind, I already thought that it was beautiful. I don¡¯t know any sight as beautiful as that. I thought, that was happiness, that was peace, a lord existed to protect that sight. But when I opened the lid, I saw people precious to me crying, only the lord¡¯s family was singing happily. Kaid clenched his teeth, grind them, moved on only by saying that it was as expected from the fief¡¯s lord. They thought that whatever happened could be pushed to your family. That somehow things would be just fine if things were left to your family. Because, you see, it always worked that way.¡±


    ¡°I will be an admirable lord. Then I will save mydy and her family!¡±


    The boyughed while saying that. Leaving a trace of that time, growing up splendidly.


    Even though things won¡¯t stay the same. But, still.


    ¡°Therefore, I fully supported the cause to erase all of you, the fief¡¯s lord.¡±


    I¡¯m sure, just as the same, everything has changed.


    He was a serious child. Serious and kind. His sadness must have been really deep. And he was scared too, I¡¯m sure. How much pain did his tender heart bear alone, I wonder?


    ¡°Personally, though. I agree to the abolition of the lord system. There¡¯s a limit to what someone can bear alone. It¡¯s great if someone capable could seed, but people are born different. Moreover, there¡¯s the inability to give birth to the same person, which makes the impracticality of using the same system inevitable. A hero can be born. But the same hero can¡¯t be born again. It¡¯s not like heroes can be born in session either. In which case, it¡¯s a given that the omnipresent system is impossible. I¡¯m not saying that the masses cannot be a hero. Rather, it¡¯s about the lord being demanded to be a hero. Before making someone into a hero, if we rack the wisdom of a hundred ordinary people, a good idea should be born, even if it¡¯s a little, right? In that case, it¡¯ll be better if the whole poption can be involved. It may need a longer time, but that¡¯s everyone¡¯s responsibility. It¡¯s good if everyone can share the responsibility. If a lord has to be troubled, decided, and taken responsibility by himself, the poption would only be a burden. By relying on everyone, we will have the resolution to face any result together. If no one wants to take the responsibility of the decision and oue in the fief¡¯s matters, then it¡¯s better to be demolished.¡±


    ¡°Kaid does make bold decisions, but you also say outrageous things without hesitation, don¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just huge on nepotism. Anyone would prioritize his own happiness than aplete stranger¡¯s, you know? Moreover, we¡¯re supposed to kill our hearts for the sake of the fief¡¯s poption, but they take that as a given. No one will ever kill their heart for our sake, nor move into action for that. That¡¯s why, at least, I decide to think, kill my heart, and act for myself.¡±


    Isidore holds his chest with one hand, bowing down.


    ¡°I can¡¯t give you the promise of the lord of Gimmi, but as an individual, I vow to be the ally of the two of you until myst breath. Please, mydy, take care of Kaid. I saw his selfishness in that cliff for the very first time. He threw everything away to run to your side, made a move for his own sake for the first time since he became the lord¡­¡­ Please, this time around, live a happy and peaceful life.¡±


    ¡°And you as well, Isidore. You can¡¯t be unhappy either, you know?¡±


    After saying that, Isidore lifted his head up and winked at me. That joking face looks so messy that it looks cute.


    ¡°My family is well, my friends are well, the person I admired has returned. I¡¯m happy, you know?¡±


    ¡°Oh my, how wonderful! I wonder who it is. Is it someone I knew of?¡±


    ¡°Kaaaid, I can¡¯t saaay .¡±


    Cheerfully sping the hands together, Isidore bursts intoughter and turns around in exaggerated sigh. When I look at his back, moving out of my reach, I realize that Kaid is already here since who knows when. He leans on the open door and chuckles.


    ¡°Can he bear to tell that easily? He hasn¡¯t even told me yet.¡±


    When I saw Kaidughing gleefully, I became happy. I already held out my hand, and he picked it up all at once, swiftly pressing a kiss to the fingertips. Our matching rings reflect the light. It¡¯s not the sight I¡¯m used to, so I feel the tingles, somehow.


    ¡°I¡¯m home, mydy.¡±


    ¡°Wee back, Kaid.¡±


    He¡¯s bending down, so I can reach his forehead to return the kiss, while Isidore visibly shrugged.


    ¡°Now, now, this bug is going to disappear. Kaid couldn¡¯t stop pestering me to go home sooner either.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re only free from Gimmi for one month anyway. I received an urging from there, you know.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because Father is desperate to be seeded by me.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­You jerk, did youe here because you ran away from that?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s just because Mother said that she wanted to retire by traveling around the world. Wouldn¡¯t you be upset if you¡¯re in my shoes? I¡¯m here for my active duty, too.¡±


    While shaking his hand, Isidore went out of the room.


    Kaid let out a deep sigh. However, in his face, he expresses a wry smile as if saying that the guy is a handful. Somehow, Kaid really spoils Isidore. He really had a good friend. I¡¯m really d that in these fifteen years, there¡¯s Isidore in Kaid¡¯s side, always.


    I don¡¯t know since when, but Kaid¡¯s room has be filled with nothing but books.


    Since Kaid never really uses this room until now, there¡¯s barely nothing, except for the basic furniture. However, now hees back with a massive amount of materials. Rather than saying that Kaid moves back his bedroom here, it¡¯s more like he moves his office here. I finally understand what Caron told me before.


    The mansion is undergoing various repairs as well. This ce should be surrounded like a fort too.


    But, with this, whenever there¡¯s something I don¡¯t understand from my night studies, it¡¯s easier to borrow a book. It feels like I¡¯m stealthily obtaining a bargain.


    ¡°Hey, Kaid. When Kaid isn¡¯t around, what should I do if I want to borrow some books from this room? Is there any ce that I must not touch?¡±


    ¡°If it¡¯s for you, mydy, even the ess to the vault room is open.¡±


    ¡°So you have something like a vault room?¡±


    Even if I look around inside the room, I can¡¯t find the carpet. Kaid, who said ¡®yeah¡¯ to my tilting head, makes a small beckoning gesture. I scoot closer to him and he points at the spot below the painting leaning on the wall.


    Then, he suddenly kicked that spot. With a heavy and lumping sound, the wall caves in. I thought it was smashed broken, but when he hooks his finger and pulls something there, the wall at our side is moving. Beyond the wall, arge iron door calmly awaits.


    ¡°It¡¯ll open with a password and a key. This is the only key, but next time, I¡¯ll get mydy¡¯s copy ready.¡±


    ¡°No, that¡¯s unnecessary! I can¡¯t possess something that important!¡±


    ¡°If somehow this mansion is under siege, this is the safest ce, so please escape here. It can cram up to three people.¡±


    ¡°So it¡¯s a shelter¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°For the time being, it was built to be the vault room, though. Next time, I¡¯ll think about how to open up a venttion from the inside.¡±


    He enters the password that I repeat again and again in my head so that I won¡¯t forget. There¡¯s no way I can write it down, so I have to remember it. Looking at me, Kaid makes a smile. I know he¡¯s not a person who¡¯llugh at my bad memorization, but I feel ufortable.


    ¡°Now then, it¡¯s already open, so.¡±


    The condition to open a heavy looking iron door makes me frown. Kaid notices that and leans down.


    ¡°Mydy?¡±


    ¡°I wonder if I can open this door. Perhaps I can if I train like Kaid?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Mydy is adorable no matter how you look like, but if you look like me, I¡¯ll probably cry a little. Besides, mydy, your hair color has changed, hasn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°It seems so. It looks more like the past, somehow.¡±


    Reaching out his hand to touch my hair, his eyes narrowed as if it was on the verge on breaking.


    The fodder-like brown color has be lighter as if it starts turning to blonde. I was told that my face looked changing too. I think, that¡¯s because I¡¯m eating properly, making my face look rounder.


    The head chef, noticing that I make the effort to increase my meal little by little, also put on a lot of effort. The decoration that looks cute-ish keeps adding up. When I see that the stew looks like a poisonous soup with skulls stirred in grudge, I can¡¯t forget that those are carrots, carved to look like cute small birds. I wonder what kind of small bird it was made to look like. Gathering up the courage to ask, I got the answer that it was supposed to be a small, pink bird. How they turned into skulls was a mystery to everyone.


    I want to be able to do things, little by little. In my study and meals, also, if I can be honest, in sword practicing. If I can be more careful, Caron and Jasmine promised to take me to go shopping with them in the town. A festival ising soon for the girls to give choctes to her crush, I want to choose it with them. I want to try the things I haven¡¯t done yet. I want to do things together with the person I love. I want to y with my friends, talk with them. I want to run, I want to enjoy sweets. I want to braid my hair, pick colorful clothes, and do make ups too.


    Also, just a little bit, I want to try getting into a fight with him. I¡¯ve had enough of a fist fight, but I want to try reconciling with him. But, I truthfully don¡¯t want to feel sad or make him feel sad, so I don¡¯t want to do it as much as possible.


    Inside the vault room that he led me to, there are shelves attached to thick iron walls, mainly to story important documents and keys. Rather than things that could make money, they look more like things that are essential to manage a fief.


    Let¡¯s treat this well too. While nervously looking around, I saw one distinguishable spot. It¡¯s a small and cute looking ss box. With flower decorations, it¡¯s put on top of a piece of clothing, unlike others which are littering around.


    ¡°This is?¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡±


    I don¡¯t know if I can touch it or not, so I ask by gesturing with my palm. Kaid, following the line of my sight, jumped in a startle. Seeing that, I also jumped.


    ¡°Wh, what? Is it something I couldn¡¯t ask? If it is, I¡¯ll forget about it right away.¡±


    ¡°Ah, no, that¡¯s.¡±


    Looking at Kaid bing incoherent and drenched in cold sweat. I feel flustered too. If it¡¯s something thatimportant, so much that he doesn¡¯t want me know, I¡¯m really sorry to carelessly ask about that.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine, I already forgot about it! I already forgot what I ate for dinner yesterday, and even the cute dog you drew on top of the pancake to erase the morning resentment is way forgotten!¡±


    ¡°Even if you don¡¯t be forgetful from being that flustered¡­¡­ That thing in the morning, if you forget it, that¡¯s great. No wonder everyone said that they had no appetite back then.¡±


    Kaid pressed his forehead, but immediately shook his head. Then, slowly, as if holding a really fragile article, he took the ss box with both hands.


    It looks like he¡¯s going to put it right in front of my eyes, so I shyly fix my gaze upon it.


    ¡°Please open it.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­May I?¡±


    ¡°Yes. But please don¡¯tugh?¡±


    Kaid holds up with both hands a tiny, cute-looking box, softly caressing it. The box that was kept inside the cool vault room was as cold as ice.


    So that he wouldn¡¯t scar it in one per ten thousands chance, he uncovers the lid very carefully. Just what did he put inside? While my heart thumping hard, I peered inside, and felt let down instantly.


    A small paper, ribbon, light yellow paper, and handkerchief.


    If the handkerchief isn¡¯t there, I would¡¯ve thought that they are trashes, but why are they kept so securely, as if they¡¯re treasures? I tilt my head, but I can¡¯t look away. It interests me, somehow. I think I have seen them somewhere before¡­¡­


    I lift my head in an instant. Kaid doesn¡¯t say anything. Yet he gave me a slight nod, which confirms my thoughts.


    My eyes and nose are burning up. I couldn¡¯t resist the heat from travelling up to my eyes.


    ¡°I¡¯m more skillful now.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve been skillful since that time, though.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a lie. The flower was nted and the cookies were slightly burnt.¡±


    ¡°I no longer lie to you, mydy. I¡¯m looking at it everyday, but I can¡¯t tell where the nted part is, and I hid the cookies from everyone so I would be the only one who ate them back then.¡±


    I control my trembling lips, desperately trying to reply. I was really against showing him this kind of pathetic face that I preferred being overturned, but, no matter what, I want to see it.


    The letter I wrote in a rush for our rendezvous. The ribbon I used to wrap the cookies that I was too troubled with, so much that I barely made it to our rendezvous. The handkerchief that I was mulling over, because I had no spare if that one ended in failure.


    I gave those to you. A very, very long time ago, fifteen years ago that felt just like yesterday, I gave them to you.


    Even though you should¡¯ve just thrown them away.


    They were being a burden, right? It was really painful, right?


    It was better not to hold the things in your arms when you couldn¡¯t go back to them again. You should¡¯ve just thrown them away, lessened your burden, and moved on.


    I think of these things, but at the same time, I feel happy too. Really, I¡¯m such a selfish woman.


    While thinking that he was such an idiot, I wiped the tears and suddenly realized. I wiped my tears once again, and looked closely into the box to confirm it. However, no matter how many times I look at it, I can¡¯t find it. I even opened the handkerchief, but there was nothing but a nted flower, swaying as if it could be blown away by the slightest wind.


    Kaid keeps gazing at me who is looking for something.


    ¡°Hey, Kaid.¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°My hair?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡±


    I¡¯m sure I heard that he took a bunch of my hair, but there¡¯s nothing resembling hair inside this box. Since I have this opportunity, I want to wash that hair at least.


    And yet, Kaid somehow avoids my eyes, putting up a futile iron wall.


    ¡°¡­¡­Kaid?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Yes.¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t be mad, so tell me?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­ Yes.¡±


    ¡°My hair, what did you use it for?¡±


    ¡°Huh!?¡±


    My eyes are looking at him, soothing and conveying that it¡¯s okay, I understand.


    ¡°Hold on, mydy?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t read in details, but in the book I read a long time ago, there seemed to be a lot of recordings about using hairs in good luck charms. You used it for that, didn¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re mistaken! In the first ce, using hairs for good luck charms is considered ck magic, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°Uhm¡­¡­¡±


    It¡¯s about a long time ago in the past, and I didn¡¯t exactly n on getting executed, so I don¡¯t remember that clearly. I only read carefully about love charms. Like, using the hairs of one¡¯s crush to create a paper doll and let it bathe under the full moon¡¯s light, or like, braiding them into a misanga, braided bracelet, putting it against your skin without being noticed by anyone else for a month, or other things.


    However, I didn¡¯t remember anything other than the charms would make one¡¯s feelings returned by one¡¯s crush.


    ¡°Making a straw doll and inserting the hairs to it.¡±


    ¡°I understand the gist of it from that, but that is done to send a curse.¡±


    ¡°Sticking the hairs into a paper doll and burning it without being seen by anyone.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s also to put a curse.¡±


    ¡°In the novel I read a long time ago, the main character, a mysterious thief, can turn into a person by eating their hair, or¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Eating someone else¡¯s hair needs a considerably strong will power, indeed¡­¡­ Mydy?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­I heard this from Jasmine before, but her mom read it in the popr novel when she was a child.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Well, it might be.¡±


    I wonder if I radiated grief, because Kaid pat my back in return.


    ¡°So, then, what kind of charm did you use the hair for?¡±


    ¡°Just the usual kind, a in protecting charm that I can carry everywhere.¡±


    Inside the pendant that he took from his chest¡¯s pocket, there were three small strands of golden hair. I stared at them without blinking, confirming for once that there were no noticeable dirt on them.


    ¡°Kaid.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­It¡¯s repulsive to you, after all?¡±


    ¡°I think my hair has no protective effect, actually.¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t looking for the effect.¡±


    I think it¡¯s unfair that Kaid is the only one who has it, so I told him that I wanted his hair too and obtained them from him.


    Somewhat limping, Kaid led me out of his vault room. He said that this ce could be an evacuation shelter if something bad happened, but I wonder if the tightly shut door can be opened in times of emergency, especially with the door being that heavy, so it will only increase my anxiety. First of all, the way that the very first wall has to be kicked from the side already leaves much doubt. Next time, I¡¯ll definitely ask him to give me a kicking training.


    A nice wind blows in from the opened window, caressing my hair as my eyes flutter close. I remember the feeling of looking at a far, faraway town.


    ¡°I want to go back to Kayna.¡±


    I heard a loud rattle from Kaid, who was examining the walls¡¯ condition. As I turn around in surprise, I wonder if he¡¯s trying to fix the bent wall, because he smashes the painting frame in his hand.


    Kaid wasn¡¯t looking at the pitifully broken frame before dropping the painting.


    ¡°Did I, perhaps, do something?¡±


    ¡°A, ah, yes. You just smashed that frame.¡±


    ¡°That frame is nothing of importance.¡±


    ¡°It looks extremely valuable, though¡­¡­¡±


    Dering a quite dire condition of the wooden chips as nothing of importance, he quickly paces himself over here. His hands reached out to my shoulders before he realized that there were wooden chips in his hand, which he threw to the back.


    ¡°So, uhm¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    I¡¯m conflicted over continuing or not, but since Kaid has made a waiting stance, I continued. I look at Kaid¡¯s straightced back as he stands still, frowning, then I look to the neglected painting on the floor. Somehow it makes me feel a little restless. It¡¯s in a maid¡¯s nature. I want to tidy it up.


    ¡°I sent a letter, but as I thought, I want to directly express my gratitude. The orphanage manager is someone who raised and loved me, this kind of an eerily uncute girl who never smiled. Not only was I unpleasant, I was always worrisome. So I thought that I must show my face at least once to express my gratitude.¡±


    ¡°Is that so? In that case, please let me give youpany. I also wish to express my gratitude to the person who raised mydy.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re so busy though, is it okay?¡±


    ¡°The head butler said that I was never free enough to take several days off, even for the honeymoon, so I quickly assign the tasks. I think it¡¯s okay.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­So you¡¯ve been busy for that kind of reason?¡±


    ¡°Well, half of it.¡±


    ¡°It takes half, even.¡±


    I didn¡¯t even know that that kind of motive could upy half of his reasons.


    Oh, well, under the pretext of a medical care, he should decrease the frequency of showing up at work, so even if he allocates the tasks, it shouldn¡¯t be strange.


    With a somewhat extremely relieved expression, Kaid tilts his neck. I¡¯m worried if he feels anxious, so I grab Kaid¡¯s hand, but what I got in return was a wry smile.


    ¡°I thought you wanted to return home.¡±


    ¡°Home? Ah, that¡¯s right. That ce has be my home. Fufu, saying it that way makes me feel the tingles.¡±


    She was truly kind. After all these years, she has grown much older, her body might no longer listen to her anymore, disturbingly. Yet, against all those mischievous children, she never even shown any unpleasant behavior. She was genuinely worried about the child who wished for an unhappiness on her own, without feeling ufortable. Even I, who shook away people around me, could notice that.


    The wise, kind, and gentle woman.


    I think Isidore will like her too.


    If there are selfish people, there are people who aren¡¯t. If there are terrible people, the kind ones are also there. There are people who will loudly scream theirints, but there are also people who will endure and keep believing. There are people who won¡¯t work for themselves, but there are also people who will reach out to support the others.


    I can¡¯t say that it¡¯ll be reality unconditionally. Maybe in one generation or two, not something right before us.


    I think it¡¯ll be good if Isidore also has his wonderful destined meeting. I truly think so. If hees into the conclusion of not wishing to seed his fief, not at the price of sacrificing his whole life, I think that¡¯ll be good too.


    If he can choose the path that he won¡¯t regret, that¡¯ll be the best.


    I¡¯ll do anything so that there will be a choice for that sake. Not for Isidore the next lord, but for the sake of our precious friend, Isidore.


    When I think about Isidore, my forehead gets bumped against and I close my eyes without thinking twice. My hand, which was grasped, somehow had its fingers being intertwined now.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be very happy if you can think of this ce as your home as well.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right. This ce is my home, that ce is my home too. I have to introduce myself to the orphanage manager. Telling her that my lord-master (dannasama) has be my lord-husband (dannasama).¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s,¡±


    ¡°Then, my master (goshujinsama)?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a little too much too.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­The-lord-turned-husband (otto)?¡±


    ¡°Just use the usual, please.¡±


    ¡°The one who bes my lord husband?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s weird, I feel extremely ufortable.¡±


    ¡°The one who became my lord husband?¡±


    ¡°I feel that it strays even further from the usual.¡±


    ¡°What should I call you, then?¡±


    ¡°What should you call me, indeed?¡±


    The corner of eyebrows lowering to the center, Kaid was even more troubled than me. If he has a tail, it¡¯ll probably be lowered while feeling dejected. As I think so, somehow, I burst outughing.


    ¡°Pfft¡­¡­ Oh, Kaid, it¡¯s funny¡­¡­ Pff¨C ahahaha!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Go ahead, you mayugh at me¡­¡­ Yourughter, it hasn¡¯t changed.¡±


    ¡°P-perhaps so¡­¡­ Pft¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Unexpectedly, your low funny barrier hasn¡¯t changed either.¡±


    He uses a pouting voice, but the golden eyes gazing down on me look unexpectedly gentle, so much that it makes me blush.


    I wonder if he has realized that I lost my ability tough, because now Kaid¡¯s lips turn up to a smile. They said yawning is contagious, butughter seems to have the same effect.


    That hard staring makes me tingle, but I don¡¯t want to be separated from him either. Embracing me with an ¡®up you go¡¯, hisrge figure envelops me without leaving gaps. He¡¯srge, warm, and calming me down more than anything, but my heart beats fast at the same time.


    ¡°¡­¡­This time, I will definitely make you happy.¡±


    When the reflective words came, it made me frown. I push his chest away, he let me go without resisting, though his face looks puzzled.


    ¡°That¡¯s not good, Kaid. Fix it.¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    I pull both of his grasping hands, tiptoeing to reach his looming face.


    Our lips crash together, mydy, he said under his breath.


    ¡°Let¡¯s be happy. The two of us. I¡¯ll tell you this, but I cannot be happy by myself. I won¡¯t be. I¡¯m a troublesome woman. Please be prepared.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­Pardon me for that. Let¡¯s be happy, mydy. Together, with me, please be happy.¡±


    ¡°Yes, with my pleasure!¡±


    Gleefully hugging his nape, the arms that encircle my body stays there, embracing me. My toes are dangling in the air, swaying. Albeit twirling in that position, I don¡¯t feel anxious at all. I have no fear of being dropped, and if I stay this way, I feel happier.


    ¡°Mydy, I wish to correct one thing.¡±


    ¡°What is it~?¡±


    Without realizing it, Kaid was already holding the back of my knee, turning me into a sitting-like position in his arms.


    Putting my hands on his shoulders, I¡¯m looming over him in puzzlement. Those golden eyes are too dazzling, but I¡¯m still looking at them, narrowing my eyes in spellbound.


    ¡°That is, not with you as the troublesome woman, but as an adorabledy, you know?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re the only one who thinks that, Kaid.¡±


    ¡°If not, I¡¯ll be more troubled. Also, I¡¯ll tell you this: I¡¯m a truly troublesome man, so prepare yourself.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Somehow, when you¡¯re the one who said that, I feel a little afraid.¡±


    ¡°Yes, please be more afraid of me.¡±


    Kaid grins.


    However, it¡¯s not the gentle smile he showed just before, it¡¯s a disturbing smiling face with his canine tooth peeking from his lips.


    ¡°Anyhow, all men are wolves.¡±


    Saying that, the wolf lordughs towards his most precious person in the world.

 Chapter 21: Yours and Mine, A Certain Precious Day

    <h4>Chapter 21: Yours and Mine, A Certain Precious Day</h4>


    It was once a mansion awashed with the smell of flowers. However, now, it was a busy yet calm mansion filled with the smell of ink, paper, iron, detergent, and really sweet sweets.


    Someone would be able to be happy in thisnd. Actually, it was not just someone, but everyone. I was looking at, with a calm feeling, the dream-like story slowly bing reality. In the midst of this happiness, I was alive.


    ¡°Mydy.¡±


    Jasmine and Samua became flustered at Caron who entered the room with a small knock. I, who was concentrating at the things at hand also raised my line of sight.


    ¡°Ah, hold on, Caron. Could I have a bit more time?¡±


    ¡°Fufu, that¡¯s fine. I will prepare the tea first, so please take your time.¡±


    Hearing Caron¡¯s gentle tone, the three of us immediately rxed our postures.


    Kaid paid meticulous care while choosing the food. From the snacks that could be eaten in a bite, to even the equipment and tools used to prepare the food. That was why it took more than twice as much time to preparepared to a usual cup of tea. It was neither a good thing nor something to be happy about, but I was thankful for having the time to finish.


    We decided to immerse ourselves in the work at hand in order toplete it by the time tea was ready.


    ¡°I¡¯m done!¡±


    ¡°You, you¡¯re done!? Lies!¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it cute? Don¡¯t you think so too, Head Maid?¡±


    Jasmine raised the item in her hand towards Caron, and Caron who was disinfecting all of the tea utensils nced at them without stopping her actions. The corners of her lips slowly raised in a smile.


    ¡°¡­Yes, I think it is very good.¡±


    ¡°Head Maid!? Really? I mean, it¡¯s like this!? This, for the Master!?¡±


    Towards Samua who was shaking in fear, Caron opened the two bags in her hand. Looking at that, we unconsciously shuddered. However, Caron grandly puffed out her chest in pride.


    ¡°That¡¯s because this is revenge towards the Master!¡±


    ¡°Eh? Wait a minute, Caron. I didn¡¯t hear anything about this revenge.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, My Lady.¡±


    I instinctively felt happiness towards the Caron who was smiling sweetly and cutely, but it was not a situation in which my chest filled with warm feelings. That was because I heard some unexpected words from Caron. It was not just me who was shocked by Caron¡¯s words. Samua and Jasmine also jumped up in fright.


    ¡°Eh!? Head Maid, this was for a revenge!? What!?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, it¡¯s just a small retaliation.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t know anything about this! Nothing!¡±


    Caron, who was the source of the shock, did not falter at all, but instead gave a solemn nod, and said ¡°It¡¯s okay¡± three times. What was ¡°okay¡± was entirely unknown. If it was not Caron who said it, all hell would have broken loose.


    In the end, without finding out what it was, the preparations for the tea waspleted, and we also finished our work. The three of us took off our aprons while giving ast look at the items we justpleted.


    Jasmine and Samua headed back to work after, but I went with them for part of the way. Caron, who was pushing a cart with tea and the stuff we made, was at the very back, while Samua was directly behind me and Jasmine, who was carrying everyone¡¯s aprons followed behind him. The aprons were heading straight to theundry.


    I was urged by Caron to walk at the front. It did not matter who walked at the front, but as expected, it was a little bad if the Mistress of the house walked behind the maids. Caron usually ignored it if there were no visitors to the mansion, but as it was decided that we would go to the Royal Capital, we had been practicing even the smallest details. However, it seemed as though she would not stop us from talking, so we were smiling while chatting with each other.


    ¡°Hey, Shirley.¡±


    ¡°Yes~?¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s it like when it¡¯s just you and Master together!?¡±


    Samua choked a little as he heard Jasmine ask the question with twinkling eyes.


    ¡°You, what are you saying all of a sudden!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s cause, it¡¯s that Master and Shirley, you know!? Aren¡¯t you curious!? It¡¯s not just me, but everyone¡¯s curious about it. During break time it¡¯s always on our minds regardless of whether we¡¯re watching the flowers in full bloom, or carelessly overeating sweets.¡±


    ¡°Ah, no wonder all the maids have been looking a little plumptely.¡±


    ¡°Samua, both my hands are upied right now so I can¡¯t hit you, but I think it¡¯s good that the people who are washing yourundry, or even me who would go and buy equipments, will remember this and y a prank on you.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m curious too! Shirley!?¡±


    My eyes which were begging for help frantically shifted towards the back right side while my head slightly bent backwards towards the left. In the left, behind me, was Jasmine with her eyes sparkling. She suddenly let out a delightful smile, and slung her arms around my shoulders. It hurt a little, but the Jasmine who was behaving like a spoiled child was cute.


    ¡°Ehehe, being able to have such idle talk with Shirley makes me happy¡­ Eh, there seems to be a nice smell. Shirley, why do you always smell so nice?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not using any perfume now, though¡­ What kind of smell could it be? Also, I¡¯m just studying with Kaid.¡±


    ¡°Studying.¡±


    The two of them said the same thing. As I did not really hear the two of them agreeing with each other often, I thought I had said something strange, and thus, stopped walking and turned around. Receiving stares from both the left and the right, I did not know where to look, and ended up looking in-between the two of them at Caron.


    ¡°I¡¯m ashamed to say, but I don¡¯t really know much about the job of a lord. If I don¡¯t even know that, I couldn¡¯t help Kaid, nor be someone he could rely on. That¡¯s why I¡¯m studying¡­ I¡¯m no good. Even if Kaid were to finish his work early ande back, in the end I¡¯m still making him talk about his work. If it¡¯s like this, Kaid wouldn¡¯t be able to rest. Thank you, Jasmine. I¡¯ll be careful from now on. Thank you for noticing.¡±


    ¡°Eh, uh¡­ That wasn¡¯t what I meant¡­ Umm¡­ That¡¯s right! Have you decided on where to go for your honeymoon!?¡±


    ¡°I think your persistence is something to be respected. It¡¯s amazing.¡±


    Honeymoon, huh? The reality of being able to marry Kaid sometimes slowly snuck up in me, and made me feel so dizzy that I could faint, so I thought it would be good if I could get used to it soon. However, I did not think that I would be able to get used to it at all, so it was quite troubling.


    ¡°We haven¡¯t decided yet. But I¡¯ve talked with Kaid about traveling around Laius.¡±


    ¡°My Lady, please leave work matters out of your honeymoon period. The ceremony was held as an announcement to everyone, so it was not as if the two of you could spend much alone time together. However, the honeymoon is undoubtedly meant as a way for the two of you to enjoy yourselves, and for you to decide how to spend your lives together with each other. You cannot bring your work into that. Specifically, there is aplicated mood between the two of you. Even though My Lady and the Lord married for love, the two of you are acting so stiffly, as though you were forced into an arranged marriage.¡±


    Even though we had started splitting the work, Kaid was still busy. That was why I thought it would be better if we went for the inspection, but both Caron and the Butler Head wore a face of displeasure. Caron, whose thoughts were showing on her face, had a slightly twitching eyebrow.


    ¡°An inspection is an inspection, a vacation is a vacation. If an inspection is needed, then organize a trip solely for that purpose. In the first ce, you should not bebining your work and your honeymoon. Neither should be added to the other!¡±


    Caron made a fist tightly with her released hand. As she was letting out a lot of pressure, Samau and Jasmine, who were between us two, looked like they were about to cry.


    ¡°I¡­ Isidore also invited us to Gimmi, so we might end up there.¡±


    It was not just Gimmi that we were invited to, though.


    Although Laius has lost its fame fifteen years ago, it was once the second most wealthy territory, ranking just after the Royal Capital. The Laius that was many times bigger than the Royal Capital, was liberated by a hero like from the miracles, and was flourishing once again. Thanks to the excellent lord who put the abundant natural resources of Laius to use, the territory has once again recovered its finances. More than fifteen years ago, all of Laius¡¯s money was flowing into the surrounding territories and the Royal Capital. But now, as if to say that that has been recovered, Laius¡¯s lord was leaving the Laius who had once lost money to its surrounding territories. Not only for the sake of bing arge customer, but there was also the possibility of forming connections, so no matter which territory¡­ So far, only Wyfar had not done so, but the other territories had gambled and sent out invitations. Although one might say that the lord did not like luxurious things, they were targeted this time because it was a honeymoon.


    The invitation from Darich which was mixed in, was silently thrown into the firece by Kaid to burn.


    It really burnt well.

 Chapter 22: Yours and Mine, A Certain Precious Day II

    <h4>Chapter 22: Yours and Mine, A Certain Precious Day II</h4>


    ¡°But, since we first have to go to the Royal Capital to gain permission for the marriage, it¡¯s not going to happen any time soon.¡±


    As expected, the King would not be bothered with the marriage of all themoners and nobles, but it was different for feudal lords and the nobles who hold great power. He has to even out the bnce of power so that no one house or territory would hold too much.


    In this case, since I was just a girl with no backing unlike before, there was no worry of Laius¡¯s power increasing with this marriage.


    But, Laius was originally too powerful.


    The Laius who, in the past, was able to prosper as much as the Royal Capital, was now managed by the hero. From the point of view of the King, who wanted to dismantle the overpowered Laius because it was toorge, the current situation of Laius being ruled by Kaid was nothing but a threat.


    Even if the marriage partner was me who would weaken Kaid¡¯s power, it would never hurt to be vignt. If he wanted to insert a spy, he could just assign a subordinate to be Kaid¡¯s marriage partner, thereby making it hard to refuse for fear of worsening the rtionship.


    So, the marriage was still a thing that had yet to be done, let alone the honeymoon, but the proposals for our travel destination kepting. It was fine if it was from people who had no understanding of territory management, but what was it with the feudal lords who should have the utmost understanding of the rules to all having already sent out invitations.


    I understood that the preparations could not bepleted in just a day or two since it was the lord that was leaving. Preparations had to bepleted in advance to make sure that everything was perfect, but even so, it felt like they were being hasty.


    ¡°That¡¯s nice¡­ The Royal Capital. I¡¯ve never been there. Shirley, have you been there before?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­¡±


    It could be said that I have been there but also not. No matter how I answer it would be a lie yet also a truth. As I was worrying over how to answer, Caron threw out a helping hand.


    ¡°Do not worry. You are all going.¡±


    ¡°Eh!?¡±


    Both Jasmine and Samua jumped a little and let out sounds of shock.


    ¡°Head Maid, I, I¡¯m able to go to the Royal Capital!?¡±


    ¡°Of course. If My Lady and the Lord gets married, then they will often go to the Royal Capital. If you young ones aren¡¯t able to remember the way then I would be troubled.¡±


    ¡°Yay!!¡±


    ¡°But! Remember that we¡¯re not going for fun!¡±


    ¡°Yes! I love the Head Maid~!¡±


    ¡°¡­The only good thing about that sentence is that it¡¯s just like what Adele says.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be buying lots of souvenirs, so please give me a special allowance!¡±


    ¡°¡­That kind of shrewdness is much more than Adele¡¯s¡­¡±


    Caron let out a deep sigh as she shook her head and straightened her back as if trying to shake off a headache.


    Jasmine swayed her body in a good mood as she looked at the items on the cart that Caron was pushing.


    ¡°I wonder if the Lord would be happy!¡±


    ¡°Since they are all from the Lady, he will definitely be happy.¡±


    ¡°What about ours!?¡±


    ¡°Who knows¡­¡±


    ¡°Head Maid!?¡±


    Hearing Jasmine¡¯s sorrowful cry, Samua also took a fleeting nce at the tray on the cart.


    While moving, a lid covered the tray, so the insides could not be seen, but he stared at a certain point and muttered.


    ¡°At the very least, if I were to receive it, I would seriously run away with all my might and cry.¡±


    The words that were uttered with a serious face managed to quickly change the topic. While I could understand Samua¡¯s feelings, because the feelings held towards the object that he was pointing at were just feelings, if he wanted me to have the same opinion, then it was hard to neither agree nor disagree.


    ¡°Ca-Caron. Is Kaid already resting?¡±


    ¡°Yes. He finally did just a while ago. Seriously, he crammed his morning full of work to the point of having no time to drink tea or even have lunch. It¡¯s like he¡¯s not aware of his recent return from death. Even if a month has passed, after considering what happened, it¡¯s only been a month. Besides, it¡¯s different from before now. I keep telling him that from now on he¡¯ll only grow weaker as he gets older, so he should stop being so irresponsible regarding his own body¡¯s conditions, but that person just never listens!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re like the Lord¡¯s mother, Head Maid!¡±


    ¡°Ah?¡±


    From Caron¡¯s mouth came a sound like a dead man crawling out from the grave. The two of them jumped in fright while giving a shriek. They shivered like two newborn fawns and ran in front of me, before turning me around so I was looking at Caron. Making me act like a shield.


    I was giving Caron an unfocused look. The two of them behind me were still shaking in fear.


    ¡°Umm¡­¡±


    ¡°Say, My Lady.¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    Caron slightly lowered her shoulders, and stood with her feet parallel to each other. It was an action that I had not seen recently. Her slightly charming jawline along with her upturned eyes looked somewhat simr to the past.


    ¡°I¡­ Am Ipletely different from the past me? Am I old now?¡±


    ¡°Caron has always been cute, plus I envy that you have be so mature now. I also want to be a splendid adult like you. I am going hurry up and be one so I can walk beside you with pride, so watch me over me, Caron.¡±


    ¡°I love you, My Lady!¡±


    ¡°I also love Caron a lot.¡±


    In this life, I had often seen adults who were walking side by side together, which made me wonder if they were friends. But, if I were to walk beside the Caron who had already became an adult, there would be no one who would think that. I had to be an amazing adult in order to not be mismatched when I stood beside another amazing adult.


    I stared at my friend in front of me.


    Even in a hard situation where she felt shaken, she was still walking in a dignified way. But one could still perceive the overflowing charm and cuteness. As expected of Caron. She had really became an amazing woman. I wonder if I could be someone like that. I was a little anxious, but it was a good thing to have a goal in front of me, so I became excited.


    ¡°I, I love Shirley too! Right, Samua!¡±


    ¡°Why did you bring me into this!¡±


    ¡°Eh? But you love her too, right?¡±


    ¡°No, that¡¯s¡­ Of course! But only as a friend, a coworker, someone who lives in the same house, and as a person! ¡­¡­You. I¡¯m going to hate you for the rest of my life if you¡¯re trying to get me fired!?¡±


    A familiar face popped up from the corner behind Samua, who was on the verge of tears. At the same time, Caron raised her eyebrows with a tremendous vigor.


    ¡°After all, I¡¯m not someone who is that rotten to convict you of a crime if you¡¯re just showing good will without any ulterior motives. It¡¯s okay, Samua. I understand so you don¡¯t need to make that kind of crying face¡­ What¡¯s wrong, Carolina?¡±


    Kaid, who was holding onto two books and a bunch of documents, voiced his concern for Caron who was staring with her eyes wide open, and walked with a smaller stride than usual.


    ¡°¡­I told you I would prepare tea, so why did you leave the room?¡±


    ¡°Aah, at first I was just going through the papers, but then I remembered that they had to buy recement parts for the knights¡¯ equipment so I wanted to check the status of that. Then I thought I could also go to the barn to check up on the condition of the horse that was unwell at the same time. After that¡­¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re seriously¡­! And here I thought you would have remembered to use people! How many years have you been a lord! Are you saying that it wasn¡¯t enough making Samua cry before! Chores are meant to be done by your subordinates! Do not take your subordinates¡¯ jobs! Repeat after me!¡±


    I was fascinated by Caron¡¯s intensity which seemed to have doubled when she was angry, but there was a phrase that caught my attention. It was not good to interrupt others¡¯ conversations, but because it seemed like a topic that would be evaded if I did not grasp my chance, I slipped into the conversation.


    ¡°Wait, what was that about Samua crying? If you don¡¯t mind, could you tell me about it?¡±


    ¡°Of course not!¡±


    ¡°I mind it a lot!¡±


    ¡°Please listen, My Lady!¡±


    ¡°Please wait, My Lady!¡±


    Caron, who had passed us and was approaching Kaid, turned around with such force that the bangs of Kard and the three of us facing him fluttered upwards with the wind, scaring Samua and Jasmine. And thus, Caron naturally ignored Kaid¡¯s request.


    ¡°It was from when Samua was still a lower ranked servant. When he first was assigned to the lord, the lord ended up doing everything himself, leaving Samua with nothing to do but to just stand there. I was curious about the situation so the Head Butler and I went to peek, and we saw him jumping and crying, ¡°The lord took my work!¡± Compared to those days, I thought that the lord had became a little better, but it turns out you¡¯re doing it again!¡±


    ¡°Heeeh, I didn¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°All right! I was wrong! That¡¯s why, stop talking about the past in front of My Lady!¡±


    ¡°Rather, this topic seems to be taking a stab at me! I¡¯m so embarrassed that it hurts! It¡¯s so painfully embarrassing!¡±


    Many stories came out one after another from Caron. Kaid¡¯s various past ¡®misdeeds¡¯. Caron¡¯s piled up frustrations which was being unleashed, the cries which were almost like shrieks from Kaid who was trying to control the situation, thementations of Samua who suffered three blows and was the victim in the situation, reverberated throughout the warm corridors lit by the early afternoon sun. No one interrupted us, but rather, everyone who passed us were wearing warm smiles.


    While Caron and the others were interacting, I was watching the passers-by with a calm face. At that time, Jasmine lightly pulled on my hem.


    ¡°Hey, Shirley.¡±


    ¡°¡­What?¡±


    ¡°I heard that the mistress of the house needs to have the ability to handle disputes within the household well. That¡¯s why, somehow, good luck! I love you, Shirley!¡±


    Honestly, I thought that it was too much of a responsibility for me to bear, but I had just promised Caron that I would be a splendid adult. I could not pretend that I did not see it, and I could not just run away from it. There was no option to surrender. There was none at all.


    ¡°¡­I love you too, Jasmine.¡±


    The voice that answered, if I had to say so myself, wascking in spirit. I wonder why was I so powerless.

 Chapter 23 – Yours and Mine, A Certain Precious Day III

    <h4>Chapter 23 ¨C Yours and Mine, A Certain Precious Day III</h4>


    Upon entering Kaid¡¯s office, as he had left with the intention toe back soon, documents could be seen scattered around on his desk. Before Caron, who was pushing the cart, could even do anything, Kaid had already cleared the desk. Caron narrowed her eyes, and hurriedly interrupted Kaid.


    ¡°Kaid, could I get you to sit on the sofa?¡±


    It was fine to sit anywhere, but as Caron had warned that he might start working again if he sat by the desk, I asked him to sit on the sofa instead.


    I prepared the tray and tea in front of Kaid who had sat down obediently even though he was looking puzzled. Jasmine and Samua had already returned to their work, but it was quicker for just two people to prepare this amount of food. In the blink of an eye, the preparations were done in front of Kaid who was looking puzzled as to why Caron did not also ask me to sit like she usually did.


    After Caron looked at me and nodded, she made a small nhn sound with her throat. Kaid, who was betrayed, did notugh, but I wanted to say it properly. Not breathing too much, but inhaling just the right amount, I ced the tray in front of the Kaid who had tilted his head in confusion, and lifted the lid.


    ¡°Happy birthday, Kaid.¡±


    Five small cakes that could be held in the handsy arranged neatly on the tray. The cakes, which were shaped into small circles, were made by five different people.


    Kaid looked at each one individually, but when he got to the second from the right, he let out a small groan. The face he raised was still looking as though he was confused about something.


    As he slowly grasped the situation, he awkwardly turned his eyes towards Caron.


    ¡°¡­¡­ Carolina, did you say something?¡±


    ¡°Happy birthday, My Lord. With this, you¡¯ll be thirty next year.¡±


    Kaid was looking up in resentment at Caron who had turned away like a tsundere before the hardworking Caron trusted a finger at him.


    ¡°Why do you think there was no considerations for the various celebrations of My Lord who has beenpletely ignoring them thus far? Even though the recognition parties for the employees were organized on a grand scale, My Lord does not celebrate your own birthday at all. Please pay the price for all the fretting that your servants and subordinates have incurred throughout the years. Even if it¡¯s you, a stubborn and obstinate person, you still can¡¯t refuse it if it¡¯s from My Lady, right! Please enjoy it! This is just a small retaliation from all of us!¡±


    I wonder why Kaid was slowly turning pale, with his face twitching. Even though it was such a cute retaliation. It was true that Caron¡¯s spirit was amazing though.


    Five small cakes were lined up. The five people had decorated the cakes especially for Kaid. If it was big, it would be messy to eat, so the cakes were made to be small. Due to the hardening of the cream, the cakes did not crumble and managed to stay in ce.


    Caron pointed at the five cakes with her finger, and grinned broadly. The Caron with a slightly evil expression still looked very cool.


    ¡°These cakes were decorated by My Lady, Jasmine, Samua, the head chef, and I. If you manage to guess correctly who decorated which cake, then that cake will be all yours. However! If you do not manage to guess My Lady¡¯s cake correctly, then it will be split between all of us!¡±


    ¡°Wait, Carolina!¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no waiting! You say you do not need to celebrate anything, including your birthday, since it¡¯s a waste of time, money, and human resources every year, to the point where it¡¯s now justpletely forgotten. In order to not let My Lord realize, I have seen my colleagues do things like close the windows, and hide underground to celebrate with cake as though they were ck magicians. I¡¯m sorry, but let me have this small retaliation!¡±


    I thought about it for a bit as I watched Caron whose shoulders heaved in anger, her eyes determined. Aftering to a conclusion, I smiled and tapped on Caron¡¯s arm.


    ¡°With regards to ¡®colleagues¡¯, Caron is also within that definition, right?¡±


    The other two¡¯s pupils suddenly widened and they blinked. After a blink so big that it could have made a loud noise, the golden eyes swirled towards Caron. Caron turned red under the stare and, for some reason, hugged the tray lid close to her.


    Caron hugged the tray lid as though it was an important stuffed toy and exited the room at a speed impossible to follow with the eye. It was at a speed several times faster than usual, but it was still polite and done gracefully. However, while she gave me an exit greeting, towards Kaid, she instead wished him a ¡®Happy Birthday¡¯. While shouting.


    After Caron had, uncharacteristically, roughly shut the door, the room became silent.


    ¡°Kaid is really loved by everyone.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m scared of what will happenter¡­ I have really troubled Carolina.¡±


    ¡°Fufu, I think she will be pleased if you told her that directly.¡±


    I sat down facing Kaid and picked up my tea. I was still nervous drinking tea with Kaid even now, but I did not intend to show it. However, the habit of somehow always taste-testing first came out.


    While Kaid was looking at the five small cakes seriously, I tasted the tea. As expected, Caron. It¡¯s delicious.


    ¡°Um, My Lady.¡±


    ¡°Nhn?¡±


    ¡°These cakes¡­ They were not decorated with the intention of making it hard to guess who made what, right¡­?¡±


    As Kaid had asked the question too seriously, I unintentionally let out a giggle.


    ¡°Eeh, it¡¯s okay. In the first ce, neither I nor Jasmine nor Samua had heard that this was a retaliation. Caron just wanted to be a little mean. Kaid, you should be prepared. Since, everyone who heard that we were making your cake were full of smiles. Everyone must have really wanted to celebrate with you. Next year, I should give you something tangible.¡±


    ¡°Next year¡­¡±


    ¡°Eeh. Could I celebrate it with you next year too?¡±


    ¡°Next year, too¡­¡±


    The Kaid who was repeating the same words somehow seemed like a small child, and made me want to hug him.


    Is it an insult to call a grown man cute? Aah, but I want to hug him so much.


    This person who was called a ¡®hero¡¯ by others, for some reason, sometimes looked like a child when he was just being ¡®Kaid¡¯. Even though he was much older than me, for some reason, there were times where I felt like he was a young child. I always felt troubled at such times. Kaid was so cute, and above all, just so adorable that I end up wanting to hug him.


    The me fifteen years ago, did not manage to reach this day. The flowers I nted to give him died without budding, and I did not know how he spent this day after my life came to an end. I did not know anything.


    I spent this day in the faraway Caina. I cursed myself who was not able to celebrate with the one I loved more than anyone, repented to an unbudding flower, and only blessed the birth of the person I could not meet again.


    I thought I did not even have the right to know. But more than anything, I was afraid that if I knew he was celebrating andughing with everyone, I would not be able to congratte him.


    But he closed his eyes, plugged his ears and pretended not to notice, thereby forgiving my foolishness.


    Truthfully, I had thought of nting kousso this year. It would have been possible to ask Caron to prepare for it secretly, but, I started worrying about what would happen if he did not like it, and ended up not doing it. Not only that, I just could not do it when I thought that it might have brought him pain.


    But, it should be all right to grow it for next year. Even if it was only one flower. Maybe we could increase it by one every year, and make it into a bouquet some day. I wonder if a day like that woulde.


    ¡°Next year is important too, but first, let¡¯s celebrate this year¡¯s.¡±


    ¡°Yes¡­ But first, I must ovee Carolina¡¯s challenge.¡±


    ¡°Fufu, you¡¯re quite serious, too.¡±


    I would not say that I was lying unreasonably, but the Kaid who was facing Caron¡¯s small prank seriously smiled in a very Kaid-like way. That was also very wonderful.


    ¡°Rather than saying I am serious, I feel as though the time I would have to spend with My Lady would decrease by seventy percent if I disregard Carolina¡¯s challenge here.¡±


    While saying that, he faced the tray with seriously. Such an exaggeration¡­ Really.


    It was hard to tell if it was a joke since Kaid had such a serious expression. The room settled into a silence that was tinged with urgency.


    ¡°Since there were no tricks done to make it hard to guess, let¡¯s start with something that is easy to understand. First, this messenger from hell is the chef¡¯s.¡±


    ¡°I heard that it¡¯s a cat.¡±


    ¡°It looks like it¡¯ll be able to reap your soul at any time¡­ This, this cake with decorations looking up towards the sky is Jasmine¡¯s.¡±


    ¡°Stargazing cake. What a nice name.¡±


    ¡°I am thankful that fish was not used. The cake that I think was made by Samua is this one that seems to say ¡®I think I am more suited to be a pastry chef than a butler¡¯.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right! I was so surprised that Samua was so dexterous and was able to make such a delicate and detailed cake!¡±


    ¡°I heard that his father was a pastry chef. ¡­Now, the problem lies in the remaining two.¡±


    The remaining cakes were decorated by Caron and I. I had made a in-looking cake. However, both cakes only had cream and fruits for decorations. Ah, the fruits are a little nted. I should have fixed it, but since I was staring at it for so long previously, it became hard to tell if it was nted. Should I have just relied on my intuition? I should have fixed it when I thought it was nted, but since I was not sure, and was afraid I would have made it worse, I ended up being afraid to touch it. As expected, I should have just fixed it when I thought it was strange.


    In front of me who was regretting my choices, Kaid was clenching his fists and making a face as though his life was on the line while looking at the cakes.


    ¡°This is Carolina¡¯s! Which means, the remaining one is My Lady¡¯s. Is that right?¡±


    I pped instinctively for Kaid who had provided the correct answer.


    ¡°Amazing, Kaid! How did you know?¡±


    The cakes that Caron and I made were made at the same time, in the same kitchen, using the same tools and ingredients. The base cakes were made by the head chef, so that was the same as well. There were no special characteristics unlike the other¡¯s, so I wondered how he knew.


    Kaid¡¯s gaze fell on me who was surprised and touched.


    ¡°For Carolina¡¯s, thergest fruit had sunk into the cream, so I thought it was because she had thought of something aggravating regarding me. If it were My Lady¡¯s, then I would have jumped from that window.¡±


    From now on, I would be extra careful when adding fruits on top of cream. In the worst case scenario, it was all right for the fruits to fall, but it was definitely not all right for the fruits to sink into the cream.


    I swore with a serious voice and hollow eyes staring at Kaid.

 Chapter 24.1

    <h4>Chapter 24.1</h4>


    No matter how much Kaid loved to eat sweets, it would be hard for him to eat all five cakes by himself. It was also difficult to leave the cakes forter since it might be poisoned. So, the cakes were given to me. But I felt a little guilty while eating the cake even though four other people had permitted me to eat it. This was because the cakes were supposed to be a present for Kaid. The cakes were sweet, and the vors burst in my mouth as I took a bite.


    For a while, only the clicking sound of tableware was heard in the room.


    I¡¯ve noticed this recently, neither of us was great at starting conversations. I¡¯ve already known that my social skills were not my strong suit, but it turned out that it was the same for Kaid. This would¡¯ve been different if there was a topic for us to talk about, or if someone else was in the room. But since we were the only two people in the empty room, it was dead silent beside the asional clinking of the tableware as we ate.


    ¡°Um, mydy?¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡±


    ¡°What about the dress?¡±


    I looked up when he suddenly broke the silence. His tone was humble, and he had a troubled expression on his face. He looked like he was surprised at himself for starting the conversation.


    ¡°Are you referring to the dress that I will be wearing to the royal capital?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    I was pretty confident about what he was referring to, but I asked him directly to confirm that I was correct.


    As for the dress that I will be wearing to the royal capital, they had already taken my measurements and showed me a few popr styles. However, because I¡¯m not well versed in the current fashion trends, I left the final touches to Caron and the dressmaker.


    I had no choice but to have an expensive dress made by the dressmaker.


    Anyway, I would be aughingstock if I wore a dress ording to my taste. After all, I am the fianc¨¦e of the feudal lord. The feudal lord and his fianc¨¦e will be the representatives of Laius. If we did not have the appropriate attire and manners, other nobles will gossip and look down on us. And if one of the nobledies from Laius wore a dress that was more expensive than mine, then I would be insulted and deemed unsuitable to be the feudal lord¡¯s fianc¨¦e.


    I liked to dress modestly, especially when I visited the orphanage. But if I dressed like usual, then I would not be approved by other nobles.


    These were one of the few absurd rules that we had to follow. But, after some time, we hade to an unspoken agreement that there was no reason to break these rules and disturb the peace.


    Wearing a beautifully tailored dress will establish my status and make me look like a figure of power in Laius. I must wear it while exuding an aura of confidence. But looking at the way I am right now¡­ Will I be able to properly do my part?


    ¡°I don¡¯t think that my body shape will change drastically by the time I head to the royal capital, but because I haven¡¯t stopped growing yet, I asked them to be flexible with the measurement.¡±


    ¡°Is that so?¡±


    ¡°Yep.¡±


    When our conversation ended, the room became dead silent again.


    Starting a new topic of conversation was not my specialty, and there were a few topics that I dreaded talking about since it was associated with a few of my more unpleasant memories. I couldn¡¯t find a topic to follow-up on right now because my mind was drawing a nk.


    I wondered if it was possible for us to both choose a topic that we both agreed on to talk about. Nheless, men and women usually enjoyed talking about different topics. Even so, it seemed like Kai had memorized some of the more popr topics to talk about among women. This can be seen when he started talking about the dress that I was going to wear to the royal capital. Topics such as what dresses were fashionable, and thetest jewelry had been hammered into my mind. With that said, I preferred shying away from topics about my past because I feel ufortable whenever my past was brought up in a conversation.


    When silence fell upon the room again, I was troubled by what I should do. I was flustered and my mind was in a mess as I scrambled around looking for a topic to talk about.


    I was already satisfied that Kaid was alive and well, and here with me. But I didn¡¯t want to verbally express it. Perhaps, it wasn¡¯t smart to force a topic; it might make the atmosphere even more awkward. I was happy just being able to look at Kaid even if we¡¯re not talking with one another. I felt like I was on cloud nine just by looking at him.

 Chapter 24.2 Yours and Mine, A Certain Precious Day IV (2)

    <h4>Chapter 24.2 Yours and Mine, A Certain Precious Day IV (2)</h4>


    While I was worrying about those things, I had already taken another bite of cake when I noticed Kaid happened to be looking down with one hand covering his face. I was startled seeing his head lowered and his chest tightened after eating something. My body froze as my mind raced for a possible exnation, could it be poison?


    ¡°Ka, Kaid?¡±


    ¡°¡­Please forgive me, My Lady¡±


    Although I was confused as to what he was apologizing for, a sense of relief quickly flooded into my body. Thankfully, he had not been poisoned. After he raised his face, I was once again flustered, hurriedly, I drank my tea to calm down.


    ¡°Carolina told me that I shouldn¡¯t only talk about work¡­But, that¡­I¡¯m a boring man who doesn¡¯t have any hobbies after I finish talking about Crochia I run out of topics to discuss. I wonder, what are some good things to talk about¡­Maybe, it¡¯s just because I am¡­not good at speaking.¡±


    Unbeknownst to myself, I had been holding my breath the entire time. But it can¡¯t be helped, my endurance finally broke. I know it¡¯s bad manners, but I ended up lying down on the sofa. Even after hearing Kaid¡¯s voice flusteredly calling to me, I couldn¡¯t raise my head.


    To think, someone like him, a feudal lord capable of rebuilding a massive ruined territory in only 15 years, making that kind of face for a topic like this. He had acted as if the world was ending when fretting about the same problem felt by a young girl like myself. Eventually, I could no longer hold it in,


    ¡°Fu, fufufu¡­! Kaid, you¡­ What kind of face is that?¡±


    ¡°¡­you¡¯reughing too much, my Lady.¡±


    ¡°Fufu¡­ I¡¯m sorry. It¡¯s because you worried the same thing as me, not because I¡¯mughing at you. Either way, I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    Hearing this, Kaid who suddenly choked, took a deep breath. He raised his face and wrinkled his eyebrows at me. Hey! There¡¯s no need to threaten me, someone who has always and was already anxious about irritating him. There was no reason why he would make such a face unless he was in a bad mood. But his face could bepared to a sulking little kid. Although it had nothing to do with it, his gaze reminded me of the children in the orphanage. It made the lovely feeling I had in my chest grow a little stronger.


    ¡°I am also not good at talking, which was why I can¡¯t reply to you very well. But, since both of us are not good at speaking, let¡¯s study and work on it? Kaid, for me, I¡¯m happy to be with only you forever. Although I really like talking with you, even the silent moments when I get to stay in the same ce as you, already make me very happy.¡±


    I like the serious side of you. I like you the most when you try desperately to face me sincerely. I like all of you.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine if we can¡¯t get better at it, it¡¯s already good enough that I have you here with me. Even though the serious you is great, the you who fall asleep, trips, spills ink, and has bread crumbles on your cheeks, is very cute. I don¡¯t want to be formal when talking to you, it¡¯s fun either way. So, this time let¡¯sugh at this conversation, even if it is awkward. That way, no matter the topic, we¡¯ll be able to talk with each other. ¡±


    The time we spend together is not much. We aren¡¯t able to have many moments with each other discussing the same topics. Compared to the majority of lovers, we must be such an awkward couple. However, we don¡¯t doubt each other¡¯s feelings. Although that stage has passed, and we have begun findingfort just in having the presence of the partner, I¡¯m still unconfident to live my own life. But, if the day came where I couldugh at this type of crudeness, it would be proof of happiness. If in the future, I experienced that kind of day and would still be able tough, would I be able to call it a happy time spent together?


    Being able to talk freely about the future, with the person I love, no matter the circumstances, would make me happy. Thinking of this, I ended up loosening my lips and grinning. After seeing my smile, Kaid took a deep breath,


    ¡°¡­Mydy is more adorable¡±


    ¡°Eh!?¡±


    Flustered, I couldn¡¯t help but try to hide my blush.


    ¡°Thi- this morning, you saw that I spilled ink on my cheek!?¡±


    This morning, my hand had slipped when I was writing, causing the tip of the pen to turn towards me, spilling ink on my face. Because I wiped it quickly, it immediately came off without the use of hot water. That¡¯s why this incident became a secret between me, Samoa, and Jasmine, who were there.


    ¡°Ah¡­ No, That¡¯s not what I mean, it¡¯s not because I saw you¡­¡±


    ¡°You really didn¡¯t see it?¡±

 Chapter 24.2 Yours and Mine, A Certain Precious Day IV (3)

    <h4>Chapter 24.2 Yours and Mine, A Certain Precious Day IV (3)</h4>


    ¡°Yes. Umm.. Have you finished writing the letters for the reply?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I finished them this morning but I haven¡¯t sealed it yet. I think that it¡¯s better to do it after you look over it. I know that you¡¯re busy, but I¡¯m wondering if you could do that.¡±


    Although I have not yet greeted the King, nor has he officially approved of our engagement, the lord of the country¡¯srgest territory Laius is getting married. Naturally, there would be many eyes turned towards the woman who will be his partner. There are some people who are genuinely curious, but theyposed a small minority.


    From now on, I will be in the role of determining the utility value and position for a lot of people.


    The letters are a part of that, most of them being invitations for tea or evening parties. At first nce, it can be easily deciphered which among the letters are straightforward and honest, and which of them have other implications. Although, obviously I can¡¯t afford to insult the senders and disgrace the name of Laius.


    But these days , all of the following letters employ traditional grammar which is no longer used anymore except among nobles. It¡¯s one of theplicated things brought on with being a noble. Thankfully, with the knowledge from my previous life, I am somehow able to read and understand them.


    In those days of my past life, I was very happy. Even now, I am thankful for the education I received as the daughter of nobles. The knowledge they were able to hammer inside me are the weapons and shields needed to protect oneself, to protect the name, and to protect the position. And most importantly, to protect the honor and reputation of the people around me.


    When I have a person who is precious to me, I now have the skills to protect the both of us from disgrace. From now on, I will use everything I have to prove to those across the country that id, the feudal lord of Laius, made the right decision.


    I received this shield from my parents, and this spear from my grandparents. Wielding this shield and spear, I can and will protect Laius, using the very weapons of the people who led its destruction. This gratitude towards my family is my unspoken truth.


    ¡°But, It¡¯s letters between women. Moreover, it feels like I¡¯m intruding on Mydy¡¯s letters¡­ May I do it although it¡¯s impolite?¡±


    ¡°Yes, because I don¡¯t feel at ease if it¡¯s only me. Please look at them together for me, I will be d if you do¡±


    It¡¯s not only because of thedy of the house. When there¡¯s no appearance of women around the Laius¡¯ feudal lord, of course a woman¡¯s world would be estranged to him. Although he wasn¡¯tpletely isted by Laius¡¯ noblewomen, if there is nody of the house, the urrence of an imbnce and disconnect with nobles and the public is unsurprising.


    The question of value and quality alwayses out even among the nobles, but the most criticised position in the public is the feudal lord and the woman who he associated with.


    Who is our enemy? Who is our ally? From now on, we have to make such judgements. Within the territory there is certainty, but beyond the territory it is unclear. Actually, attending a tea party and other gatherings is a good way to establish a rtionship with others. It is something I really should do, but I can¡¯t afford such time, especially since the call from the royal capital was earlier than I expected.


    ¡°¡­. I ended up talking about work¡­..¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine, since we¡¯re talking about daily conversation now¡±


    It seemed like he was depressed again, his body bing dispirited. Even though I should feel worried because the person I like has be disheartened on his birthday, I can¡¯t help but feel Kaid looks even more adorable and irresistible.


    After a little thought, I started to think of getting up. Then, before Kaid had recovered, I sat next to him with an innocent face. He raised his head in surprise, ¡°


    ¡°My Lady?¡±


    I really can¡¯t help it, and my heart skipped a beat after I saw his face. I started to be weak.


    ¡°Kaid, if you keep doing cute things, I won¡¯t be able to help it but want to hold you, please somehow restrained yourself¡±


    ¡°¡­. but I, will be 30 years old next year¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure, you will be cute even when be a grandfather¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ ¡­ Mydy is more cute¡±


    Whenever I tease Kaid, I feel such simple happiness. I hid my blushing cheek with the back of my hand, while Kaid faced the ground with his hands covering his face. Our shy states being witnessed by the head chef¡¯s untouched cake.

 Chapter 25.1 You and Mine, Our Friends (1)

    <h4>Chapter 25.1 You and Mine, Our Friends (1)</h4>


    Today was busy as usual, but overall it was peaceful. Because the things we have to do kept piling up, I asked Kaid to take a rest when there were moments to spare. Lately, it¡¯s beenpletely normal for the days to be bustling but calm. However, just as the sun was going down, this normalcy was disturbed.


    ¡°The guest is present.¡±


    Caron was not talking clearly, which was unusual for her. Kaid and I, who were checking the attendance list for the party in the royal capital, looked at each other in confusion. It was strange that she didn¡¯t tell us the name of the guest, as Caron is typically particrly stubborn about it. But, perhaps it was done out of respect to request the presence of the feudal lord? I wonder if Kaid also found it unusual? We both exited the room confused.


    When we arrived to greet the guest, Kaid¡¯s eyes turnedpletely cold towards the bubbly guest in front of us.


    ¡°Oi, Oi, Kaid. Happy birthday! Mydy too, have a good day.¡±


    ¡°¡­How weird. I feel that I saw the representative of Gimmi¡¯s territory just left Laius yesterday.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because I immediately came back after I arrived.¡±


    Facing us was a high-spirited Izador (the representative of Gimmi¡¯s territory) tightly holding a sake bottle, presumably the birthday gift. He jumped towards Kaid, clinging to him tightly, while Kaid unpleasantly tried to shake him off his shoulder.


    Izador had arrived earlier in Laius and must¡¯ve been one of thest of the other territories to return home after attending the liberal festival, Laius¡¯ biggest festival renamed as the wolf¡¯s resurrection festival. He returned again just as he had arrived before,without a carriage and with only a few escorts forpany. I¡¯ve begun to think that the only times he is away from Laius is when he seems to go home to Gimmi.


    It seems like he did return to Gimmi, as the wrapping of the sake bottle carried the crest of Gimmi. But, if he did so, the time he stayed at Gimmi must be short. I don¡¯t know which is his hometown, Laius or Gimmi.


    Has it be difficult for even Kaid to shake him off? After all this time, somehow Izador was able to continue clinging to him.


    ¡°You¡­ even in normal circumstances you stay for so long, but what kind of devotion for you toe without saying anything.¡±


    ¡°¡­ You are the reason I¡¯m staying in Gimme, Kaid.¡±


    All of a sudden Izador¡¯s voice got low. Kaid turned a suspicious eye towards Izador, who¡¯s voice suddenly turned chilly. Seeing this, Izador released Kaid whom he had been stuck to until now, and quickly retreated three steps dejectedly.


    ¡°Hey, Kaid.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I want you to try to think about it.¡±


    ¡°About what?¡±


    Izador¡¯s faint smile disappeared.


    ¡°Up until now I can say anything, because Kaid also hasn¡¯t married,so I can keep escaping sessfully. Now I can no longer use that reason, so returning to my hometown is scary¡­¡±


    The cheeks of the maids were stained pink by the man¡¯s voice and sorrowful smile. But, the redder the cheeks of the maids became, the more Kaid¡¯s eyes darkened. In front of Kaid, Izador retracted his previously sad face, turning around and gracefully wiping away the bangs covering his eyes. Almost immediately, an uproar of high-pitched ¡°eek¡± came from the maids. Finally, Kaid¡¯s golden eyes turned cold.


    ¡°¡­You ran away because you don¡¯t want to hear the talk about matchmaking.¡±


    ¡°Yes! That¡¯s it!¡±


    It seems like his stay this time will be longer too.


    Since this is the feudal lord¡¯s residence, the hospitality for the guest who appeared unannounced didn¡¯t create chaos, but even so it has be hectic. After having dinner, Izador seems to have decided to stay in Kaid¡¯s room until his room was prepared. It seems to be the usual situation, because before Izador could bring it up, Kaid was the first to instruct to prepare the night drinking in the room.


    It¡¯s the role of the Lady in the house to entertain the guest, but because my position is still as fiancee, and after all the other party is Izador, it seemed unnecessary. Aside from that, the rtionship of Kaid and Izador was that of trusted friends, so wouldn¡¯t it be better to not be present in order to avoid the unnecessary suspicions? At least, that was what I thought, but Izador invited me by saying ¡®if it¡¯s alright with you¡¯, so I decided to merely sit down to ept his offer.


    There seemed to be a sweet snack specially prepared for me, as it doesn¡¯t appear often during men¡¯s drinking nights. It was the type typically drunk with tea. Even before, as a noble¡¯s daughter, where there existed no unsuitable age for drinking alcohol, I had never engaged in drinking nor did I have any chances to enjoy it. So, instead I made tea this time.


    As the only daughter of the previous feudal lord of Laius, there was no one who was brave enough to serve me alcohol. Let alone pressuring me into drinking, even the very act of offering me a drink seemed to have an offensive feeling. The servants were also afraid to incur the displeasure of my grandparents/parents, who were famous for their cruelty especially towardsmoners.


    That was another way my parents and grandparents protected me. They used their own methods to make sure of my happiness, creating a paradise that was warped by corruption.


    I was a fruitless flower, dozing off and embracing foolish happiness, without seeing anything other than a false paradise. I was without any difort, not knowing fear, misery, sadness or despair. Unbeknownst to myself, my entire world had been controlled and monitored by my parents and grandparents.

 Chapter 25.2 You and Mine, Our Friends (2)

    <h4>Chapter 25.2 You and Mine, Our Friends (2)</h4>


    I think from now on, I must keep my mind wary of things. Here at Laius, I should never forget that this ce is under the protection of Kaid, allowing me to spend my time calmly without needing to be cautious. I¡¯m living under the protection of someone, and I must never forget that fact.


    But anyways, is it okay for Izador to empty sake bottles one after another in front of me? Even though this is Laius and I am under the protection of Kaid, if Kaid were also to get drunk, he wouldn¡¯t be able to protect me either.


    The empty bottles kept piling up, while Izador reached to open another.


    ¡°You drink too much. Are you trying to empty the wine cer of Laius?¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t get drunk at this level.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s why it¡¯s useless to keep drinking, heavy drinker bastard!¡±


    ¡°What kind of bluffing did you say?¡±


    The sake, which was the birthday present for Kaid, had been emptied a long time ago. Just as both of them said, Izador and Kaid didn¡¯t seem to get drunk, so I guess it¡¯s fine to stay here. Although their appearance became a little careless with their shirt buttons being loosened, they didn¡¯t look too sloppy. The artiction and movements of their hands also weren¡¯t unsteady.


    ¡°My Lady, is there something else you want to eat?¡±


    ¡°No, the portion here already made me full. Thank you, Kaid.¡±


    Because Caron had already gone home and the live-in servants had retired for the day, only the three of us were left in the room. Even with thebination of the Laius¡¯ feudal lord, his fiancee, and the representative of Gimmi, the room¡¯s atmosphere was very rxed.


    ¡°After all, you will understand from the situation after going through the gate. The atmosphere inside the mansion was on standby, ready and waiting. Just what you expected to see after you went inside, the huge amount of the portfolios consist of family chart and personal history, females self-portrait are stuck all over the wall, it¡¯s my room but there¡¯s no ce to sit.¡±


    ¡°The price for always running away hase, do your best to pay it.¡±


    After cing the empty bottles on the desk, Kaid leaned back and sunk deeply into his chair. Was he drunk? I don¡¯t know if it was because I was experiencing the worn-out feeling at the end of the day, but the littlenguid gesture of brushing up his hair looked breathtakingly sexy, making me blush unconsciously.The heat umted in my cheeks and ear to the point that it made me dizzy, so I drank some cold tea to calm down.


    ¡°As the heir of Gimmi territory, I swear that I will keep the bill.¡±


    ¡°If I was Gimmi¡¯s citizen, I would hate this prodigal son¡­¡±


    ¡°If you or mydy were the citizen, I would properly do my best to be the lord. Because it¡¯s me.¡±


    Just like Kaid, Izador sunk deeply into the chair, sighingnguidly. Surprisingly, he had also grown up from the immature person I used to know. Although Izador has grown up into a great man, one that makes passing strangers blush just by the light wave of his hand, I can¡¯t harbor any feelings and only have the impression that has finally grown up.


    Once again, I realized just what love is. It is something beyond themon senses in reality, the feeling¡¯s destination is headed towards only one. Even if the behavior is the same, the words being spoken are identical, it isn¡¯t the same. Only you are my special person, so only you can truly hurt me.


    While I was secretly overwhelmed by the happiness of realizing it myself, the two people before me were immaturely messing around with each other.


    Sigh, it seems like I won¡¯t be able to tell other people the things that have been said here.


    But this ce was not one where the eyes of others were present. Because of this, it¡¯s the only ce where they can talk as themselves, where Kaid is Kaid and Izador is Izador.


    Although Kaid seemed to be astonished, he appeared to be having fun. I was troubled because I¡¯m not good at conversing, but if yourpanion is Izador it looks like you don¡¯t have to worry about it. I wonder if Izador realized that?


    It seems that he was talking as he pleased, and the other replied just as freely. When you finish understanding the situation properly, he suddenly changes the topicpletely, leaving no room for things to get jested. It is a vital ability needed in order to live among nobles. Even drunken words can be distorted, and there have been many people who¡¯ve destroyed their own position as a result of it. In this life, I¡¯ve realized that the ability tomunicate properly, was not only necessary for nobles but also needed for unrted situations. Although it is most obvious among nobles, it¡¯s necessary for any circumstance where you want to be cautious, to not disturb anyone¡¯s path, and to not raise conflict with anyone.


    Besides, even if Kaid was not good at it, he should be better than ordinary people. Otherwise, there was no way he could have be the feudal lord of Laius in the chaos. Even more so, there¡¯d be now way he would be called a wise lord.


    In fact, Kaid did have such ability. When listening about the spices from a man¡¯s stall without hesitation, the stall owner didn¡¯t even have a sense of distrust, let alone vignce, and seemed to be pleased to talk about it with Kaid listening. I think Kaid is a good listener, and I¡¯m sure my perception is not wrong, because even the clerk seemed to talk with him with ease. In my past life, I had also told many things to Kaid.


    That means¡­.?


    When I finally realized this fact, I slowly raised my face.

 Chapter 26. You and Mine, the Alcohol (1)

    <h4>Chapter 26. You and Mine, the Alcohol (1)</h4>


    ¡°The thing is¡­at the end of the day, you still have Carolina, who is like an imprable iron fortress that shields you from everything. But I don¡¯t have a Carolina, you know that Kaid.¡±


    ¡°It can¡¯t be, Carolina is Laius¡¯s, unless she herself wishes to go to Gimmi.¡±


    Izador shrugged his shoulders after hearing Kaid¡¯s statement.


    ¡°I know, I¡¯m just saying. Unless mydy is in Gimmi, Carolina would never leave Laius even if heaven and earth were overturned.¡±


    I kept staring at the two people engaged in the pleasant conversation. They spoke without reserve, and the continuously smooth conversation flowed like water. I was now convinced that my previous realization was correct.


    With Izador, it could be said that their easy-flowing conversation was because of their rtionship. But, if you think about it, even with Caron (the maid chief), or even Samua and Jasmine, Kaid didn¡¯t seem to hesitate to talk.


    He is always choosing the topic and having the appropriate two way conversation, along with smoothly removing unnecessary points without losing the original meaning and oversimplifying the topic¡¯s original content. We¡¯re talking about Kaid, so I¡¯m sure he¡¯s doing this consciously, but doing it consciously implies that he has a deep understanding of the practice and is therefore skilled in the art ofmunicating.


    The conclusion is.


    ¡°Kaid, it can¡¯t be that you¡¯re only bad at talking when it¡¯s with me? Is it? ¡±


    The hands that seemed to be unwavering even after drinking so much alcohol suddenly were shaking. The two people who were making statements of being sober, abruptly lowered their sses, making a loud clunk. Their two pairs of eyes, which had started bing a little sleepy due to the alcohol, were now wide open. Izador very awkwardly looked towards Kaid.


    ¡°You.. it¡¯s not like I don¡¯t understand your feelings. But how innocent hmp!!¡±


    Kaid moved at an unbelievable speed and covered his hand over Izador¡¯s mouth, blocking whatever the other man was attempting to say. I think it must have hurt because it made the sharp sound of a p. Even so, Izador didn¡¯t clutch his blocked mouth or wither in pain, he only turned his startled eyes towards Kaid.


    ¡°Mydy, that¡¯s..¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Izador, it doesn¡¯t hurt?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine¡±


    Because the said person waved his palm lightly, it seemed like he was really alright. However, he was still looking at Kaid with startled eyes. No longer worrying about Izador, I was troubled by how resolutely assertive Kaid had just been, and turned my eyes towards him.


    ¡°Um¡­ because you like talking to people, right? I can¡¯t think of you as someone who is bad at talking after looking at the usual you. Since it¡¯s not my forte, you must try to match me. Thank you, Kaid.¡±


    He seemed to be flustered as his golden eyes began wavering, somehow exuding pain before narrowing tightly. Suddenly, Kaid stood up vigorously, and with that same energy, kneeled at my feet. This time I was dumbfounded by his sudden burst of energy.


    I began panicking and tried to get him to stand, but his muchrger body refused to, no matter how hard I tried pulling him up. When I attempted to go down to the floor, I was held to the chair. Then, the hand I was using to make him stand was grabbed by Kaid. He then looked straight up.


    ¡°My Lady, I¡¯ve had enough, I¡¯m not going to tell a lie to you for the second time¡±


    Unconsciously, I became startled by his eyes and voice that were so breathtakingly earnest.


    ¡°But, I¡¯m not thinking that it¡¯s a lie¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s different, my Lady! I would never trick you, for the second time, that is¡­.¡±


    ¡°Kaid!¡±


    Kaid was so desperately and passionately arguing, that his eyes started trembling, so much so that I wanted to scold my thoughtless words. Not being able to tell the truth has left a much deeper wound inside him than it has in me. I reap what I sow. Even though I didn¡¯t think that his rightness is hateful, as I myself understand it, there¡¯s no one who cannot forgive their past more than Kaid.


    ¡°Kaid, forgive me. I ended up saying something weird. It¡¯s not like that. I didn¡¯t say it to you because of that¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not it, my Lady. The truth is I really can¡¯t talk to you properly, it¡¯s¡­ because I¡¯m embarrassed¡±


    ¡°Embarrassed?¡±


    Kaid seemed hesitant to say it. I tilted my head at the unexpected response. It¡¯s unusual for him to mumble with such a heavy voice, so unknown to myself, I began staring at him.


    I was bothered that he was still kneeling on the floor, but now I was more concerned by Kaid¡¯s unusual state.


    ¡°Why? I mean, in the past you talked to me like usual, right?¡±

 Chapter 26.2 You and Mine, the Alcohol (2)

    <h4>Chapter 26.2 You and Mine, the Alcohol (2)</h4>


    ¡°¡­. That¡¯s, because¡­ it¡¯s necessary for me to control myself, and I didn¡¯t let it go too far¡­ ¡­ since this is happening, please forgive me for saying this, but my Lady, you are overlooking something.¡±


    The lips that had been mumbling and the eyes that had been trembling, suddenly stopped. Kaid opened his mouth with a determined feeling. I was pondering over the words he just said. Hmm, ¡°overlooking¡±. I didn¡¯t think of it like that before.


    ¡°That¡¯s right¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I have said it before, but recently I¡¯ve been saying it again. In the past it¡¯s rare for me to be able to talk to anyone, and even now I still like that¡­. Thus, I¡¯m happy. Of course I¡¯m happy talking to Caron and the others, but talking with you like this makes me tremendously happy.¡±


    ¡°M-mydy.¡±


    ¡°Kaid, All of the people in the territory are looking at you, their eyes are always sparkling, it¡¯s very beautiful. Although you were being stared at by so many eyes, you were always looking dignified¡­. So, umm¡­ I know that you always have to restrain yourself, but please, I hope that you can also get used to being stared at by me¡­ can¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s impossible!¡±


    I felt dejected by his forceful response.


    But after reconsidering what he said, It does seem unfair to constantly demand him to change. At the very least, I should also say ¡°because I will also try as hard as possible¡±.


    Although it may be a bit difficult, but¡­ I should try to not stare at him so much.


    Because I like Kaid so much, my love for him causes my gaze to follow him by all means. But, I think it¡¯s the same way for Kaid, because our eyes always meet with each other. It has been like this, especially after both of us came back to the mansion.


    Thus, we use our gaze to express the repressed feeling of love. Although, perhaps I should stop staring at Kaid so intensely, it¡¯s unbearable (for me) to the point that I can¡¯t hold back on staring at him because I like Kaid so much. It¡¯s impossible to turn away my gaze and hide my love for him.


    I wonder, what should I do? I was at a loss. There was no way in which I would not trouble Kaid.


    I, who was at aplete loss, must have made a pathetic face, because Kaid became extremely flustered.


    ¡°Mydy, I beg you, please don¡¯t equate the stares of others to those of the people I cherish. It¡¯s impossible for me to see them as the same thing, because I¡¯m in love with you.¡±


    Kaid said it with sincere eyes and voice. I didn¡¯t even think to look for such things, but from his direct gaze and his tight grasp over my hands, I could tell that he was not lying. It was impossible for him to be lying, Kaid has always only given me the truth.


    There¡¯s no blindfolds to cover the malic, sadness, agony, and misery. Thus, he opened his feelings to me this way without pretense. My chest felt chaotic by his feelings being directed straight at me, however it was happiness that surged inside.


    But, there was also a feeling of anxiety floating around.


    I held back Kaid¡¯s hand that was grasping mine. He raised his serious face, his golden eyes meeting mine, and a gentle heat began dancing around us. Despite him being an adult who carries a beautiful gaze, I am more anxious about when Kaid shows his childish expressions. I¡¯m afraid that others might do something horrible to him because he¡¯s too cute¡­


    Despite him being an adult, I have always been concerned about him. But because he is someone who is such a sessful feudal lord, I was hesitant to say too much. Up until now, I was unable to voice my concerns, but I thought that I should tell him properly once and for all.


    ¡°Kaid, you can¡¯t. You shouldn¡¯t be.¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t do cute things, and carelessly say such cute things. You¡¯re a man so maybe you didn¡¯t learn these things. However until recently, I have dered that I will never get married, perhaps it¡¯s such a self-deprecating, but now¡­ I¡¯m able to say please marry me, so is it fine for the surroundings to realize such things, moreover realize that you¡¯re the same way as me?¡±


    Marriage and love are interconnected things formoners, but for nobles, it is something one must never entertain too much.


    Humans have desire, that is something that will not change whether you¡¯re amoner or noble. But, the direction of the desire also changes ording to the position, especially for a noble. Although marriage is an issue between the man and woman, the family situations are prioritized over their feelings. Thus, it¡¯smon for people¡¯s feelings to be neglected when dealing with marriage, and sometimes leads towards the unpleasant direction of having and dealing with multiple partners (concubines and lovers). My parents taught me that I must convey love carefully, not because it¡¯s something shameful or indecent, but because it needs to be carried out modestly.

 Chapter 26.3: You and Mine, the Alcohol (3)

    <h4>Chapter 26.3: You and Mine, the Alcohol (3)</h4>


    And yet, Kaid seemed to not understand, his face nk while whispering out a ¡°Haaa?¡±


    ¡°What I mean is, it¡¯s fine to be that way in private, but you must not do or say such adorable things in public. Although the issue of bing family is important, falling in love is another matter. If you were at ease doing such adorable things, it wouldn¡¯t be strange for people who were already crazy for you toe forward.¡±


    ¡°No, this¡­ I never thought that the day woulde where mydy would lecture me about this issue. Mydy, I¡¯m not a child, I am a man.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s why I said, regardless if you are a man or woman, when it¡¯s about someone you love, you still have to be modest in your expression of your love. If something bad happens because of one¡¯s excessive actions of love, wouldn¡¯t it be toote? Like in my case, I seem to go crazy for you because you¡¯re so adorable. I even unconsciously want to embrace you, but I choose not to do it in the case you scold me for being improper. Right Izador, don¡¯t you think so too?¡±


    Kaid raised his face in surprise when I turned to Izador, who had been silently listening to me.


    ¡°For you to remember my existence, it¡¯s an honor mydy.¡±


    After saying something as if he had been forced, Izador turned his gaze towards Kaid, the two of them sharing a strange look. I was surprised that Kaid, who had received his gaze, silently nodded as if he understoodpletely.


    ¡°Kaid, you really have to give it your all when taking care of her!¡±


    ¡°¡­ I know.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine for you to be blushing with ¡®you were there!?¡¯ while forgetting my existence, but even in the situation when you want people to remember you, how could thedy be so natural about it!? No matter how much I think about it, this is not normal!¡±


    ¡°I know!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not so bad if it were us, but even my attendants who know nothing have said that somehow, when continuously being stared at by thedy, they be flushed and get a weird feeling! After all she is the Youngdy of Laius! Nevertheless the princess who has been sheltered from the world, her captivating gaze is too much for one to handle!¡±


    ¡°I know it!¡±


    ¡°Is it really okay for her toe out from Laius !?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know!¡±


    Kaid who screamed in despair, stared at me again with a great spirit. I felt the strength of Kaid¡¯s grip around my hand get stronger.


    ¡°Mydy¡±


    ¡°Y-Yes?¡±


    ¡°After all this, please look at me¡±


    Even though Kaid had a face of determination, his body and mind seemed to have tensed up before me. What he just said was something that was hard to understand, because I thought that no matter how hard I try, it would be difficult for me to not look at him. But now, it seems like everything turned out as I wanted, but why is it suddenly alright for me to look? I don¡¯t quite understand, but since I now have permission from Kaid, a new wave of emotion soon overrode my previous feelings of suspicion.


    ¡°Kaid, I¡¯m happy¡±


    ¡°Umm¡­ so, that. Well, please only look at me¡±


    ¡°But I intend to always only look at you¡­. You should know how much I love you, so there¡¯s no way I would look away¡±


    Have I done something that made him anxious? While I was trying to think back on my own actions, Izador jumped in between us.


    ¡°Mydy, please stop it already! Kaid is already dying!¡±


    ¡°Eh!?¡±


    ¡°Let me tell you on my own, the straying arrows are still quite dangerous even for me who get used to ying around. So it¡¯s impossible for Kaid, who has been continuously receiving them directly, to be unaffected! I beg you, Could you please go easy on him ?!¡±


    ¡°Ab-about what!?¡±


    ¡°About love!¡±


    I spontaneously yelled at his surprising reply.


    ¡°It¡¯s impossible! Because I like Kaid so much!¡±


    After thinking about itter, I yelled such an embarrassing line with all my might! Most likely it was because I had unknowingly be drunk by the smell of alcohol that had filled the whole room. Were Kaid and Izador, who both admitted to being strong drinkers, also quite drunk? The scent of alcohol that filled the room must¡¯ve been incredibly strong because even after the drinking part was over, I was still giddy.


    One of the strange things is, the following days after, I often saw the appearance of Kaid and Caron discussing something together. Furthermore, I think the strangest thing is how those discussions mostly ended up with both of them being in a troubled state.

 Chapter 27.1: You and Me, Departure From Laius (1)

    <h4>Chapter 27.1: You and Me, Departure From Laius (1)</h4>


    ¡°¡­Hilda, I still don¡¯t think that we need to add another dress.¡±


    ¡°Even so, let¡¯s do it anyways. Nowadays, the younger generation prefer innovative fashion rather than the conventional style. However since Laius has more history and formality, don¡¯t you think it would be better to wear the conventional style?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s true¡­ But, since thedy is too thin, long sleeves and a heavy neck¡¯s dress wouldn¡¯t look good on her, moreover thedy would get tired. Even if leaving some dresses will make it packing lighter, still, let¡¯s bring three dresses of that style after all¡­¡±


    ¡°Then, should we bring the white dress which hasce on the back and chest, which is popr nowadays? Aside from that, I don¡¯t rmend any other popr styles that resemble a mermaid¡¯s tail for thin people. I think it¡¯s better to choose the white dress as the mermaid dress is also difficult to dance in.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s true.. The mermaid style is only pretty to look at, and not very wearable.¡±


    ¡°Exactly. Even if the person does choose to dance, they wouldn¡¯t look attractive while dancing because their feet need to be squeezed inside the skirt for the sake of looking slender. After all this, it¡¯s better to wear the conventional dress that has a lot of fabric while dancing. And wouldn¡¯t it look beautiful when it res out while she spins around gently?¡±


    ¡°I agree.. Then, let¡¯s bring the white one for the additional dress¡­ I guess it¡¯s better to not bring the red one¡­¡±


    ¡°¡­ But the red one is so pretty.¡±


    I knitted my eyebrows, this is the fourth time I heard this conversation,tely it seems like they are making this kind of conversation more and more often. Although I want to say that there¡¯s no need to be so worried, it wouldn¡¯t be entirely true as the destination is the royal capital.


    Laius is not strong regarding the power struggle between women, because Kaid, the feudal lord, used to not have a wife, daughter, mother, sister, or even a female rtive before.


    It was a different case in the past, when there was a daughter of nobles who used to live here, but fifteen years has passed since it¡¯s been that way. There is a reason why the turmoil in Laius was huge. It¡¯s natural that no one would dare to say anything about theck of women in nobility, as Laius has spent fifteen years reconstructing the internal affairs of its previous leadership.


    The subjects of Lauis have also changed drastically from fifteen years ago. The previous feudal lord was a person who chose his subjects based on their rtion to him, along with choosing the nobles based on their rtionship to the royal castle and other territories. After the removal of the previous feudal lord, Laius began a conscious effort to adjust the previous nepotistic tendencies in the internal affairs, even though it weakened the connection with the royal capital and other territories.


    The consequence of being that way for fifteen years is that Laius has be a territory that is isted from others.


    ¡°¡­should we add one box of hair essories after all?¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s do that¡­ also add another ne and pair of shoes¡­¡±


    Hastedly, I turned my face towards Caron and Hilda. It appears that everytime they repeat that same conversation the baggage multiplies.


    ¡°It¡¯s already plenty enough. Thanks, both of you.¡±


    If the luggage increased even more, the difficult journey would only be more terrible. More baggage means more carriages, and more carriages would mean more escorts needed to guard them. We shouldn¡¯t increase the work of the guards whose priority is protecting Kaid.


    Because of that, I felt guilty seeing Caron and Hilda who were so engrossed in the conversation about luggage .


    ¡°¡­if mydy already said so.¡±


    ¡°¡­.No can do! I still feel anxious about it! I¡¯m going to check the luggage once more¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right! Please do it, Hilda!¡±


    Hilda left in a hurry after bowing, while Caron saw her off with a serious face.


    If only I was as well informed on the current popr style of dresses and understood how to match them with the shoes and essories, maybe then they wouldn¡¯t be so troubled. My sense of style is outdated since it¡¯s from fifteen years ago. It can be said that the current me is in the same generation with the women who¡¯ve already be mothers, and are now all adult women who need not dress as an unmarried maiden anymore. Because of that, the clothes that suit me, the style that I like, and the current fashion constantly sh with each other, so much so, that Caron and Hilda are endlessly worrying.

 Chapter 27.2: You and Me, Departure From Laius (2)

    <h4>Chapter 27,2: You and Me, Departure From Laius (2)</h4>


    know that they are doing their best for me. Although it involves a lot of groping, they want to make sure that wherever I go, especially the pce, I won¡¯t be embarrassed and can maintain an aura of elegance at every turn.


    I sighed lightly while listening to themotion throughout the busy mansion. I rxed the two fingers I¡¯d unknowingly been tightly gripping. I also need to cure this habit of gripping at my two fingers.


    Kaid and I were set to leave Laius towards the royal capital today, in order to receive the king¡¯s permit for the engagement of the Laius feudal lord.


    Although we already distributed the work little by little, there were still many things to do as Laius was still not used to the absence of the feudal lord. However, there¡¯s no time left.


    The formal tradition to acquire the permit for the engagement involves both parties and their families to be escorted somewhere near the royal capital. After the two parties finish preparing, they should ask for instructions on when to go to the pce, only after that are they granted permission to visit the King. However, this time the calling from the pce came early, and because of that, Laius is rushing to make various preparations. Although ites in the form of asking, the call from the pce is actually amand.


    Since he is summoned as the feudal lord of Laius, it wouldn¡¯t be good to bring even more guards and force our way there. We have to pass through the road all the way to the royal capital with the same quantity of guards for each carriages. Kaid is a person who could ride on a single horse without hesitation if necessary, but as a feudal lord he can¡¯t just refuse to follow the unnecessary process as he pleases. There was no need to excessively show off power, but we shouldn¡¯t restrain ourselves too much either. It¡¯s surprisingly easy to be modest, reserved, and humble, but it¡¯s obvious there¡¯s a need to do certain things so that people understand our power.


    For that reason, currently everyone in the mansion was very busy. On a hectic day like this, I shouldn¡¯t let Hilda, who fills the position of head maid and vice-head maid, keep thinking about my luggage.


    I looked down at the dress I was wearing, thece and details were so beautiful. In this mansion, it¡¯s normal for me to wear these beautiful dresses that I had never seen before when I was in the orphanage. There is even the first rate of highest quality dress among these best dresses.


    I felt nostalgic when I put on the sleeves, and at the same time I got a heavy feeling.


    ¡°It will be alright, since all of these are wonderful. The rest is whether or not I can wear it properly. I¡¯ll do my best so please watch over me Caron.¡±


    I¡¯ve already confirmed it with the etiquette teacher that the basic etiquette has not changed since fifteen years ago. The more history that umtes in one ce, the harder it is to make changes. I don¡¯t know whether it¡¯s for the better or the worse.


    In terms of etiquette, I should be fine because my body still remembers it from my past life. Even so, that ¡°experience¡± is also a problem in itself.


    I only know how to act as the only daughter of the tyrant (past) feudal lord of Laius.


    In the past, everyone drew a line from me, and took me (and my connections) into consideration. I had never experienced inconveniences, never felt ufortable, and never felt a need to do anythingplicated when dealing with others. In my previous life, it was already good enough for me to have shown a smile at the pce, but surely the pce that we were heading to wouldn¡¯t be that same this time, right?


    The current me is not the daughter of Laius feudal lord with blood ties to the royal family. I was only a young orphan girl who didn¡¯t even know her own rtives, and suddenly filled the long empty position of the fiancee of the feudal lord Laius.


    I could easily imagine that most likely, I would receive the treatment of a person who I had never experienced up until now. The letter that came to Laius already hinted towards poor treatment, by using old grammar when describing the details as to provoke a possible misunderstanding on my part. If I were to have misunderstood as they intended, I¡¯m sure they would sneer and mock me. And the ones that would receive that sneer are not just me, but Laius and Kaid.

 Chapter 27.3: You and Me, Departure From Laius (3)

    <h4>Chapter 27.3: You and Me, Departure From Laius (3)</h4>


    ¡°My Lady, you will be fine. Good grief, even the teacher already said that there¡¯s no problem, right? The problem is¡­¡±


    Caron¡¯s gaze turned to nce at somewhere else, I smiled bitterly after following her gaze.


    ¡°I want to go to this shop, this shop, this shop, this shop, this shop, this shop and this shop!¡±


    Samua who was carrying the luggages to the carriage witnessed the astonishing sight that was an excited Jasmine, hopping and jumping around, and soon replied,


    ¡°Even if you go to those ces, do you have enough money?¡±


    ¡°Just because, I was asked to do some shopping by almost everyone who is in the group of house-sitting.¡±


    ¡°There are more people who are leaving though!?¡±


    ¡°The men gave you envelopes, right? It means that you¡¯re in charge, Samua. I can¡¯t look inside, although they gave it to me! Am I not pitiful!?¡±


    ¡°Am I not the one who is pitiful for being given such a suspicious memo!?¡±


    ¡°So, is Samua not going shopping?¡±


    ¡°No, I will do it. I already made a trouble to go to royal capital, after all¡±


    Even the adults who saw them being so cheerful also seemed to have mixed feelings, as they had warm eyes but bitter smiles.


    I heard that this is the first time Jasmine and Samua will visit the royal capital, whether it¡¯s for work or for vacation. Both of them are the only young people among the rest of the entourage who are heading to the royal capital this time.


    Caron, who grimaced the most, folded both of her arms.


    ¡°Both of them are the problem¡­ are they going to the festival¡­¡±


    ¡°Please excuse me¡±, is what Caron told me in advance, before taking a deep breath. I realized what it meant, and quickly put my hands over my ears. Much to my surprise, there were hands that blocked my ears before mine, resulting in my hands wrapping the other person¡¯s hands.


    ¡°Jasmine, Samua! Haven¡¯t I said it several times that we¡¯re not going there to y!¡±


    ¡°Yess!¡±


    Jasmine and Samua¡¯s bodies were startled rigid and straight after hearing Caron¡¯s angry voice. The victims were not only the two of them, I could see that quite a bit of people¡¯s bodies had also jumped. Most likely, the house-sitting male group who were running away while screaming were the people who asked for souvenirs from those two.


    ¡°I¡¯m telling you this so much that this is bing automatic, both of you arepletely forbidden to go out by yourself, especially alone. Absolutely do not follow strangers. Do not ept anything they give. Always watch over your belongings and immediately report any lost items. If someone says something, report it at once. If you see something, also report it at once. Always be in a group of people who have been to the royal capital at least three times.¡±


    ¡°I understand¡­ Umm, Is Mrs. Carolina going to leave too?¡±


    ¡°Of course I¡¯m going to. I will leave the mansion to Hilda. Listen, our duties as servants are to help thedy and the master to spend their timefortably. It¡¯s unreasonable to bother them with our matters like what you two were doing.¡±


    ¡°¡­.somehow, it feels like being apanied by my mother on the trip¡­.¡±


    ¡°¡­.. I would still stop you even if I were your mother, and how many times have I said that this is not a trip!¡±


    ¡°Eeeeek!¡±


    Everyone was cowering in fear from the angry voice that had grown louder once again.


    But before I could worry about them, I quickly turned my face towards the person who was blocking my ears. While I was turning, the hands slid off my ears. The owner of the warm and slightly bulky palms was pressing one eye as if in pain.


    ¡°My head is always affected by Carolina¡¯s angry voice, no matter how many times I¡¯ve heard it¡±


    Kaid, who had been using his hands to block my ears, became the victim of hearing Caron¡¯s angry voice directly. Is it still reverberating? His head seemed to be shaking a little.


    ¡°A-are you okay?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine, mydy, please don¡¯t worry¡­¡±


    Sometimes, Kaid says such impossible things.


    I must¡¯ve made a troubled face, because right after Kaid made a surprised face, his face turned troubled.


    ¡°Mydy?¡±


    ¡°Kaid, how can I not worry when seeing you in pain? You trouble me by saying that. I will do anything if you ask me, however to not worry about you, I¡­ can¡¯t do such a thing!¡±


    So, don¡¯t say such terrible things.


    After I conveyed my feelings, Kaid hung his head down while covering his face with his hand.

 Chapter 27.4: You and Me, Departure From Laius (4)

    <h4>Chapter 27.4: You and Me, Departure From Laius (4)</h4>


    Even if I called his name, he only answered ¡°yes, mydy¡± as if moaning and said nothing else.


    ¡°Kaid, what¡¯s wrong with you? Are you not feeling good? You¡¯ve been busy recently¡­ Were you barely asleep yesterday? If that is so, please hang in there a little more. After this, let¡¯s sleep in the carriage on our trip, will you? I will be your pillow.¡±


    ¡°Mydy! I beg you, please stop with continuously giving finishing blows!¡±


    Izador, who came out from who-knows-where, slid in between me and Kaid with a very pale face.


    He, who came to escape from the attacks of matchmaking, didn¡¯t return to Gimmi and decided to apany us on this journey. It¡¯s still fresh in my memory how he winked while showing off the invitation to the royal capital between his fingers. Afterwards, he made preparations to go there out of nowhere, just like how he appeared out of nowhere just now.


    Kaid, who repeatedly kept telling Izador to go home immediately, was leaning his arm on Izador for some reason now.


    Because we are heading to the royal capital, both of them are wearing clothes that have a lot of fabrics and decorations, it made their presence quite different than usual. They always look cool, but today they look even better.


    However, now I worry about their pale states due to exhaustion and listlessness before the departure. Both of them arepletely different from Jasmine and Samua, as this is not their first time visiting the royal capital. But for them to be this pale, do they really dislike that ce?


    ¡°Kaid, Izador, the colour of your faces are quite bad¡­ Is there anything that I can do to help?¡±


    It would be difficult to change the schedule, but I still want to reduce their stress as much as possible. I know that for Kaid, the feudal lord of Laius, and Izador, the next feudal lord of Gimmi, I won¡¯t be able to relieve the burden they carried on their backs, but even so¡­ No, exactly because for that reason, if there¡¯s something that I can do, I would do it.


    When I asked the two people who seemed to be in a state of sickness, both of them shook their pale faces silently.


    ¡°Mydy, please just¡­ as it is¡­ please don¡¯t concern yourself with me¡±


    ¡°Agreed¡­¡±


    I think I can slightly understand the hidden meaning, but doesn¡¯t that mean that there¡¯s nothing I can do after all?


    I tried to relieve my slightly depressed feelings by taking a small breath.


    If I couldn¡¯t do anything, then at least I should be more careful with my own actions. I must only do the tasks I am appointed with, as it seems like my attempts at helping would only increase their workload, the very thing I want to avoid.


    I need motivation so that I won¡¯t be scared and anxious about visiting the royal capital in a different position from the past. If there¡¯s nothing I can do now, then I have to increase the things I can do.


    If I am able to do that, the day where I could protect them wille. Because it seems like they are always the ones that are protecting me, I want my existence to be useful to Laius, and not be a burden to them.


    I, who had secretly made my decision, was being hugged by Jasmine, who was at the verge of tears. Kaid supported me after I stumbled from surprise. Without realizing it, Jasmine hugged me tightly and pointed her finger at Caron.


    ¡°Sherly! Mrs. Carolina is scary like a mother!¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it because you said something that is honestly foolish!? If you said something like that, it¡¯s fine to say something to deceive her!¡±


    ¡°Oh, I see..¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­ Samua, Jasmine, can youe here? Let¡¯s talk to the chief butler.¡±


    Caron¡¯s voice which seemed like bugs crawling from the ground, caused Jasmine and Samua to shudder and hide behind me. I didn¡¯t mind them for pushing me to the front and using me as a shield, but if they continue pushing me forward, it is inevitable that the distance between Caron and them will get shorter, which does not seem like their intention?


    While these two didn¡¯t realize that the distance between them and the one they wanted to escape from was steadily decreasing, I could hear the voice of Kaid and Izador approach me from behind.


    ¡°¡­. this is my first time getting this nervous going to the royal capital in peaceful time¡±


    ¡°¡­..what a coincidence, Kaid. I feel the same.¡±


    I also heard something like, let nature take its course, but I¡¯m frightened, and exhausted. After hearing those strange voices, I arrived at where Caron was, and almost immediately, the screams of the two people pushing me reverberated throughout the estate.

 Chapter 78.1: The Journey of You and Me (1)

    <h4>Chapter 78.1: The Journey of You and Me (1)</h4>


    It takes 2 days to arrive at the royal capital using the carriage. If you are riding a horse you can arrive even earlier, only taking 1 day. But in our case, there¡¯s no reason to be rushed.


    Except for the guards who were riding horses, Caron and the others used the carriage behind us. There¡¯s only me and Kaid in this carriage. I thought there¡¯d be no problem for all the servants who were currently in the carriage behind us to take this carriage too, because our current carriage is big and wide. In fact, before boarding, Jasmine was fidgeting and seemed to want to take the carriage with me. But after seeing Kaid constantly ncing at her, she gave up the idea. I think she shouldn¡¯t have to be that nervous, however I¡¯m sure that being with your employer would be mentally exhausting.


    As such, it should be fine for it to only be Kaid and I this way for now.


    ¡°The meeting this time, seems like the decision to receive an honour¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ it surprisingly a lot¡±


    ¡°Forgive me. Would it be better if I gave it to you earlier?¡±


    ¡°Aside from us being summoned suddenly, the people who will be attending also couldn¡¯t answer until thest second, since they didn¡¯t know whether they coulde or not. So, it¡¯s not Kaid¡¯s fault. I¡¯m grateful that Kaid did this for me, although Kaid also had it hard.¡±


    While inside the swaying carriage, we checked each other¡¯s duties required for visiting the castle. Although I¡¯ve been aware of some of the changes that had urred after my era, I never truly confirmed those facts.


    There were changes of the noble¡¯s name, the marital rtionships, and their rtionships. I also needed to confirm the position of the nobles who are above and below my present position. Because of all these things, I have to fix my memory. It seems like the tasks I have to do are endless. If I could, I would have wanted to find out the preference of topics to talk about with the women, but I don¡¯t have enough time. Now, I have to remove the inuracies of my memory from the past in the current situation, so I can erase my doubt. Furthermore, I also need to learn the education that is required so I can be properly recognized as the fiancee of the Feudal lord of Laius.


    Now that the time for preparation is getting shorter, I hope I can use the time travelling to do something meaningful. But those things aren¡¯t the things that Jasmine called fun. For me, I was already d toe apanying Kaid even if it was only exchanging information or studying, because I¡¯m happy to just spend time with him. I want Jasmine to spend time in this way too, especially because the time spent travelling is long.


    I took my eyes off of the paper listing the line-up of names, before looking up to Kaid who was sitting in front of me.


    ¡°As I expected, There¡¯s a lot of names that I don¡¯t know after fifteen years passed.¡±


    ¡°It seems so.¡±


    ¡°But, I¡¯m a little surprised that there¡¯s not only the names that I don¡¯t know, but also entire family name I¡¯ve never heard of either. There¡¯s a lot of new families. Moreover¡­ I didn¡¯t see the names that I used to always see before.¡±


    The family that can enter and leave the pce shouldn¡¯t change too much unless in special cases. Even after taking 15 years into consideration, the names of families that I need to remember should not be this many.


    There are a lot of unknown family names on this list. The names of the representatives and the head of the family¡¯s sessor are not changing. I just don¡¯t know the name of the family itself.


    I think that there¡¯s a lot of houses that have been given the privilege to enter and leave the pce. We can see just how much the era is changing. Something like that could happen because someone is taking over the royal family, which has a big influence in politics including assigning the roles of prime minister or the ministers in the cab.


    However, the biggest change in these fifteen years has been to the Laius territory.


    But even so, not only did I find that there were a lot of new names on this list, but I also couldn¡¯t find the name of the old house which had a mansion located in the royal capital, or the well-known family name that served the royal family for generations.

 Chapter 28.2: The Journey of You and Me (2)

    <h4>Chapter 28.2: The Journey of You and Me (2)</h4>


    No matter how close we are, I, who is his fiancee, is only an orphan , whereas Kaid is the legitimate lord of Laius. When the feudal lord of Laius is summoned to the royal capital, the famous houses are expected to make an appearance, however the people that I thought would naturally be on the list are missing. There¡¯s not even the presence of the representative, even the name itself is missing. I would be unhappy if Laius were to be looked down upon because of me, sadly, it¡¯s only natural. But to think that it could get to the point where we wouldn¡¯t get the rmendation letter for a wedding journey¡¯s destination, would be a nightmare. I wouldn¡¯t be able to believe that this is the era where the doors to the pce are open. If only a few new names were added it wouldn¡¯t be unexpected, but it is hard to exin the fact that the names of the old established family and famous family disappeared.


    ¡°¡­you¡¯re right. It concerned me too.¡±


    Kaid made a troubled face. After he said excuse me in advance, he sat beside me and peered into the documents in my hand. I moved the document half way towards Kaid so he could see it better.


    ¡°I¡¯ve heard rumors that the royal capital has been a little strange in the past few years, but¡­. I didn¡¯t expected up to the point to make a new list of names.¡±


    ¡°Strange?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. the personnels of nobles would change with time, but¡­ at least, up until 3 years ago, it wasn¡¯t that different from fifteen years ago. Although there were some changes by the marriage of the lord¡¯s sessors, that¡¯s a normal urrence. I had a feeling that the unfamiliar faces that appeared at the King¡¯s birthdayst year were increasing, but not to the point that there was something wrong. There¡¯s no big changes either, even if there was new minister appointments, there¡¯s no one who seemed threatening or is the subjective disturbing rumors.¡±


    ¡°Right¡­ Did Izador say anything?¡±


    ¡°No. It seems that he also thinks it¡¯s strange. Even though his messengers were trying to obtain information about it, all they got was that there was a disturbing atmosphere. No one could find the reason for it.¡±


    Suddenly I got the same feeling I get when I¡¯m sick, I wouldn¡¯t be able to settle down until I learned the true reason. You would be in trouble if you got a serious illness, but it will be the same thing if you don¡¯t know the name of illness such as cold, because you don¡¯t know the method to deal with it. There is no choice but to stay careful and observe the situation.


    I let out a small sigh and shifted my eyes towards the scenery that spread across the small window.


    I was relieved by the clear blue sky. Although rain is a blessing, you want to avoid it when you are on a trip, since it would slow down the speed of movement, taking more stamina and increasing the chances of getting injured. Besides, it¡¯s pleasant to travel under the blue sky. I raised my body a little and extended my hands to open the window slightly. I held on to my hair that became disarrayed by the wind flowing from the outside, and smiled until my eyes squinted.


    There are 13 territories in the Phiri country, including Laius.


    Laius, which was once demolished to the point it could be considered already ruined, came back to life by the hands of Kaid, and gained back its position as a territory of Phiri. Thergest territory after Laius is Dalhi. Since Joblin became the feudal lord of Dalhi, that ce keeps on getting more and more greedy, whether it be business or in privilege. Gimmi is the small territory where Izador¡¯s father, who was waving his hand before riding another suitable carriage somewhere, filled the position as the feudal lord. Although it¡¯s a small area, Gimmi has a history that is as old and rich as the royal capital. The Weefar territory whose former ambassador, Wilfred, got killed, is a rtively new territory. I heard that ce has been very lively in thest 15 years.


    In thest 15 years, there are some territories that changed, but also there are some that haven¡¯t. Of course, there¡¯s no territory that doesn¡¯t change at all. It can be applied to people and ces too. Whatever it is, it will change as time passes. There¡¯s nothing necessarily good or bad about it, but the results thate from those changes can be determined as good or bad.

 Chapter 29: Mine and your ‘Dase’.

    <h4>Chapter 29: Mine and your ¡®Dase¡¯.</h4>


    It was decided that we would be arriving at the Royal Capital tomorrow evening. This is because if we were to arrive early, there will be arrangements made fitted into our schedule. Furthermore, there would be this social obligation that made it inappropriate to turn down the offer in that situation. So, both Kaid and Caron thought of not creating any opportunity to have ns being slotted and hence made that decision.


    However, if we were to arrive in the evening, we would have to appear for the evening party. But, as we had just arrived from our long journey, we won¡¯t be obliged to be in that party until thatte of night.


    Both Kaid and Caron who went through turbulent times were in perfect sync as they set up our schedule. Therefore, despite the Sun being still up high in the sky, we stopped our progress towards the capital


    Our stop was a lively town with arge number of residents that is located not too far from the Royal Capital. The town is called Dase and it only takes about half a day by horse from the capital. Due to its convenient distance from the Royal Capital as well as it being situated along arge river, many merchants and goods would often pass through the town making it into a busy town.


    Due to the sheer number, us from Laius did not stay in just one inn but were spread out among many other inns. During special asions such as the King¡¯s Birthday, people from different provinces and fiefs that would be attending the event would start to gather. In that case, there will be an agreement between the fiefs to decide upon which town or inn would the people of each fief stay in. If all were to be concentrated into one city, there would be a fear where one wouldn¡¯t be able to have any inn to stay in at all as well as the fact that the profits would then be concentrated into one town. Therefore, for various reasons, it would be better to split up and take the lodgings separately to spread out.


    The split was the highest for those that will be apanying the master, Kaid himself. Whoever that will be apanying him had already decided beforehand who it would be. Only after that, the other servants and the soldiers will begin searching for lodgings for themselves. I wanted to help out but I can¡¯t do anything as being the person that I am. I¡¯ll surely be just a hindrance to them instead and end up making them feel ufortable.


    I looked out the window of the room that I was assigned in. I saw Caron instructing and bustling around making sure that everything was loaded off smoothly. And beside my room was actually Kaid¡¯s room.


    Our room isn¡¯t at the inn¡¯s frontside but rather the back. You can see arge open area that was meant for bringing in the cargos. Further in there was a space allocated for the horses, carriages and cargo to be parked. Because the inn was located slightly further away from busy streets of the town, the view from the inn was nice and clear as you can easily see the town¡¯s za centre. However, due to therge trees that were nted on the border between the inn and the street, the view from the outside was obscured.


    Everyone seemed to be knowing what they had to do while they segregated and offloaded all the cargo. This is probably because of the fact that the people who were part of this journey were those that had already been to the Capital before. The only ones that were participating for the first time were Samua and Jasmine. Even so, both of them were carrying the items back and forth so smoothly and efficiently amidst the others.


    After Jasmine slumped over to ce one of the items down, she looked up. Her eyes that were previously filled with such exhaustion instantly brightened up. It was impossible for me not to be happy after seeing her expressing such joy through her body just because our eyes had met.


    I gently waved my hand at her so that I wouldn¡¯t be disturbing anyone during their work. In return, Jasmine waved back. Then, she quickly pulled Samua¡¯s clothes and pointed towards my direction. Noticing me, while holding onto the baggage, Samua managed to give a small wave with his palm.


    As I waved back, it seemed as if Jasmine had thought of something and her face beamed up. Then, she quickly headed towards Caron¡¯s direction ¨C leaving Samua and I staring at each other nkly between the ground floor and the third floor.


    ¡°My Lady, is there something wrong?¡±


    I was so focused on what was happening outside the window that I didn¡¯t realise that Kaid was peeking out from behind me. Reflexively, I jumped up in surprise. But, at the same time, Kaid was shocked at my actions and we ended up apologizing towards each other, flustered.


    Kaid was different from me. Rather than being a hindrance, he would be capable of giving precise instructions, he also had the physical strength to help out in carrying the cargos and despite everyone tried to avoid him from doing so, he had the determination to participate regardless. I wonder if I can be like that one day¡­ I still think it is uneptable for me to just ignore everyone¡¯s advice against the idea of it, but like Kaid, I too want to be able to be of some help for everyone.


    Then again, I never expected that Kaid would be right behind me since I assumed that he would still be downstairs. I had left the door open when I was bringing in my belongings, so I hadn¡¯t noticed him enter the room at all.


    ¡°I apologise, My Lady!¡±


    My heart was still beating fast out of shock, however, when I saw Kaid being even more flustered than I am, I couldn¡¯t help myself but to calm down instead.


    ¡°I had thought that you were still with the others downstairs. I¡¯m so-.¡±


    ¡°Shirley!¡±


    Just before I could finish my sentence, I could hear Jasmine¡¯s voice from outside the window. Without thinking, I turned around to see Jasmine jumping up and down while waving at me excitedly.


    ¡°Once we¡¯re done with the cargo, we can go downtown! Isn¡¯t it great?!¡±


    ¡°Hey, Jasmine! I did say only if the Lady wants to go as well!¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s go together! Samua ising as well!¡±


    ¡°Huh?! I just heard of that now?!¡±


    ¡°Eh?! You don¡¯t want to go?!¡±


    ¡°Of course, I¡¯ll go! ¡­ I¡¯ll go along too?!¡±


    ¡°I get it. I get it. Plus, you have already done your research beforehand on which shop to stop by in town, am I right?¡±


    Samua also seemed to be having a surprisingly good time.


    Both Kaid and I were apologizing towards each other so much that I got tired standing up. I sat down and looked up at him who was standing beside me. Kaid also shifted his gaze from looking outside towards me.


    ¡°Is it alright for me to go¡­?¡±


    ¡°Of course, My Lady. From now on, you should do whatever that you wish to do without missing out a single thing.¡±


    ¡°That¡­ would turn me into someone that is very selfish. If you don¡¯t scold me at certain times, I won¡¯t like it.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡±


    ¡°Kaid¡­¡±


    Kaid was giving out cold sweat as his eyes darted around the room. Though his gaze managed to eventuallye back to me as if they had finallye to their senses.


    ¡°Ever since before, the selfishness that you had said was something that I would hesitate to call it as being selfish. So, how can I me you for having such selfishness?¡±


    I was amazed at Kaid for saying such a thing at this time. I wonder what he thinks of me. I¡¯m worried that he might view me as a saint of pure and innocent nature. But, even I myself have desires. That¡¯s why I would also have selfishness that would result in troubling him.


    ¡°Even if you say as so, you¡¯ll be the one that would be in a bind. Because now that I was invited by Jasmine, I¡¯m thinking how happy I would be if you would be able toe along with me.¡±


    The moment I selfishly asked the busy man if we could go out and y together, Kaid¡¯s eyes widened in surprise and blinked. When I saw that expression of his, I had thisplicated feeling. As I had expected, he did misunderstand me as a person that doesn¡¯t know what selfishness is.


    ¡°See? You¡¯re conflicted, isn¡¯t it? That is why you shouldn¡¯t be careless with your words towards me, Kaid. If I were to be more and more selfish, you will be the one who will be in trouble.¡±


    ¡°Ah. No. I¡¯ll apany you for that.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    This time it was my turn to blink with my eyes widened.


    ¡°I was chased out by Carolina for making the others feel awkward while working. So, if My Lady wishes to go out, it would be better if I were to go with you. That way, there will be more solid protection from the guards¡­ But.¡±


    Kaid pursed his lips and averted his attention down at the window. I followed his gaze and saw Caron. She gave me a small wave and a wide smile. I waved back. I missed the days where I would only shake their hands by the wrist so that the others wouldn¡¯t be able to see them. However, I raised my hand to the front of my chest and gave a small shake in response.


    ¡°Although I said it myself that I would apany you, My Lady. But, I have a feeling that I would be hit by a huge outburst at the end.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°What I meant was that Carolina really likes you a lot.¡±


    ¡°I too like Caroline. Fufu¡­ Is this what they call mutual love? I¡¯m happy.¡±


    ¡°Those words, it would be best for you to tell Caroline directly. I¡¯m sure she will be happy hearing it.¡±


    If Caron is happy about it, I¡¯m happy as well.


    While the buzz of unloading the cargo upon arrival was ongoing, both Kaid and I had slowly spent time together until it waspleted. However, the moment we were to depart for town, Samua and Jasmine were shocked to find Kaid tagging along with us. Without them knowing, their actions had ended up quietly hurting the said person.


    ¡°Once I arrive at the royal pce, I won¡¯t be having any time to rx. Don¡¯t you think it would be a good idea for me to have some fun as well?¡±


    Kaid who was depressed silently asked Samua who was standing straight stiff while sweating profusely.


    ¡°Well. Just think of me as a wallet.¡±


    ¡°Eh?! Seriously?! Yay! I love you Master!¡±


    ¡°You! Idi- Jasmine!¡±


    The more Jasmine jumped up with so much excitement and joy, Samua turned even paler. However, when he took the hand of Jasmine who spun around with joy and exchanged eye contact. It seemed as if it didn¡¯t even matter anymore. I¡¯m not sure if that¡¯s even the case or not.


    ¡°Speaking of which, where¡¯s Izadore? I haven¡¯t seen him since we arrived.¡±


    ¡°Ah, Lord Izadore was in the same carriage as us but a little while after reaching Dase, he said that it was fine there and hopped off. I was d to be able to take care of Lord Izadore but my seniors were disappointed that they didn¡¯t get the chance to do the same.¡±


    ¡°I see. So, Izadore is quite busy as well.¡±


    ¡°He did mention he¡¯ll be back by morning.¡±


    Kaid let out a heavy sigh.


    ¡°If he doesn¡¯t, we will leave him here.¡±


    While being restless as we are, we all head out to town. Some of us were surprised, some that was pale, some that was excited and some that had already given up.

 Chapter 30: Mine and your food tasting

    <h4>Chapter 30: Mine and your food tasting</h4>


    As Dase is the center for the distribution of goods, not only that there is a wide variety of selections but the number of items for those varieties is a lot.


    They weren¡¯t that strict with these types of items, the range and item selections of their shops were more misceneous aspared to the Royal Capital or the capital of Laius. However, that itself had added liveliness to the town.


    It is a bustling town overflowing with various people such as merchants, sailors, and tourists. The town is full of energy that if you are not careful enough with your surroundings, you will be swept and swallowed by the constant swarms of people carrying their loads around.


    ¡°Wah! Wow! Amazing! It¡¯s as high as a mountain!¡±


    ¡°Oh! It is amazing!¡±


    Jasmine eximed in admiration as she looked up to the piles of fruits. The fruits were of all colours and kinds, of all shapes and sizes, some piled up in bags, some in boxes, and some in heaps.


    There was a mixture of smells among the fruits, some were unripe, some were sweet, and some were sour. Then, the four of them decided to stand side by side in front of the mountain of fruits. Jasmine expressed her admiration and Kaid responded in aposed manner. As for Samua, he was looking up towards Kaid.


    ¡°He¡¯s so tall¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡±


    ¡°Do you think my height can go up to like him? I wonder what I should eat? What did he eat for him to get that big?¡±


    ¡°Hmm¡­¡±


    My response to Samua¡¯s innocent question was an answer that can¡¯t be considered as one. Because of that, Samua wasn¡¯t satisfied with my ambiguous reply that he ended up asking Kaid directly.


    ¡°My Lord!¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°What should I eat to get taller?!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­ Stewed Bear Meat.¡±


    It was an answer that was given after long considerations of all the different types of food that he had previously eaten. I feel like besides Kaid himself, I am the only one who realized the truth behind the answer.


    It¡¯s hard to say that he had previously eaten poisonous mushrooms, poison nts, and even leather shoes as food. Noticing that Kaid had answered with so much contemtion, Samua gave a devastating look. Indeed, stewed bear meat wasn¡¯t amon home-cooked meal. Plus, you won¡¯t be able to find it in stores as well. Regardless of anything, the ingredients are not something that can be easily obtained.


    Kaid wore a troubled smile and ruffled up Samua¡¯s hair.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, you¡¯re still young. As long as you eat and sleep well. You¡¯ll be able to grow taller than I was when I was sixteen.¡±


    ¡°You really think so?!¡±


    ¡°If you grow out too fast, your joints will hurt, so hang in there. Although, I do think drinking poison would be more effective.¡±


    ¡°Urgh¡­¡±


    Kaid had thisplicated expression pasted on his face as if he was remembering the pain. The fact that it was said by someone who had multiple contacts with poison sounded scarily convincing.


    However, he has grown up. The more I learned of his past, the more I feel the need to thank the world for letting him grow up safely.


    ¡°Well? Where do you guys want to go?¡±


    ¡°Ah! Master! I want to go here.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m thinking about here.¡±


    Both of them took out their papers cheerfully to show Kaid. Apparently, they had been writing their agenda down, and just by ncing from afar, I could tell that they had written a lot. I wonder how many sheets of paper were there in total. I don¡¯t think we will be able to go through all those ces now.


    Kaid went and stopped at the side of the road to avoid interfering with the traffic. He then tried to consolidate whatever the ces the two had written down.


    ¡°These are the shops that you wanted to go to, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°Right! They¡¯re just meant for souvenirs! Or maybe, more like errands? We thought of buying anything if we saw anything that catches our eye along the way¡­ Is it too difficult to go through it all?¡±


    ¡°Not everything. But, I¡¯m not sure if you would be able to shop at the Royal Capital, and on our way back, I doubt we won¡¯t have the time to stop by to shop. So, it¡¯s best to get whatever you can here now¡­ Samua, you don¡¯t need to buy the items on ourst row. Who asked you to get those?¡±


    ¡°Is that so? I couldn¡¯t find any store as I didn¡¯t know what it is. So, I thought that I could ask about it at the other stores on where to find it.¡±


    ¡°You can forget about thatst one. Right. For now, let¡¯s just go wherever we can. Additionally, we won¡¯t be getting items that don¡¯tst long. Things like fresh fruits or fish are not possible no matter how you think about it¡­ You do know that it¡¯s okay for you guys to refuse something? You always ended up epting everything even if you do know some are just impossible. So, this was what Carolina was worried about when she said that you guys can¡¯t say no.¡±


    Kaid let out a sigh as he shoved the memo into his pocket. He then turned and faced me.


    ¡°Do you have any ces in mind that you wish to go to, My Lady?¡±


    ¡°Not particrly. This is the first time I went out to y with my friends. So, I¡¯m feeling nervous.¡±


    After I said that, both Jasmine and Samua were quite shocked by it. For a person of my age to not ever hang out with friends was something quite rare. Especially, when the both of them were people that could be friends with about anyone, Which in turn made them even more shocked.


    After all, they were the two people who became Wilfred¡¯s regrets


    ¡°Shirley! Let¡¯s y lots together, okay?!¡±


    ¡°I-Is shopping alone enough?! Are you sure you are okay¡­? Do you want some kind of entertainment?!


    I was surprised when the two of them grabbed hold of my hand on each side.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure it¡¯ll be fun regardless wherever we go. However, I don¡¯t know any etiquette of going out to y with friends. So, I might not have realized it myself if I had made any mistake. It would be great if you would tell me whenever that happens.¡±


    The two of them agreed to it readily as they nodded their heads vigorously. I felt guilty for leaving everything up to them including where we would be going as well as what we will be going to do. I wonder if I would be able to voice out my thoughts to them next time.


    I never thought that I would be able to have this kind of wish one day. I never thought that the day woulde when I would be allowed to go out and y with my friends in my previous life, and to wish for something in my current life.


    ¡°Shirley! There! Let¡¯s go to that shop!!¡±


    As Kaid had said, from tomorrow onwards, I¡¯ll be putting more effort and attention into myself from head to toe. At the very least, I hope that I¡¯ll be able to stretch my wings and have a good time today.


    ¡°Alright. Let¡¯s go.¡±


    She had held onto my hand as she headed off. I tried my best to follow suit at a pace that I wasn¡¯t used to.


    ¡°Shirley! This is really delicious! Try it!¡±


    Jasmine offered me a tasting but I wasn¡¯t able to respond to her as I already had it shoved into my mouth.


    I just tried one of what Jasmine had offered earlier and I had already finished the new one. So, I covered my mouth with one hand as I hurriedly tried to munch down the food.


    ¡°My Lady, it¡¯s okay to take it slowly.¡±


    Kaid wasughing mirthfully while acting as a barricade to prevent the passing people from colliding. He must have tasted the same thing and had already finished eating.


    ¡°Master, I¡¯m here to pass you the receipt.¡±


    ¡°Oh, thank you.¡±


    ¡°Much obliged.¡±


    Samua returned afterpleting the purchase. We went around to several stores, and each time we bought something, a Laius person would appear out of nowhere and take it with him, so we went around the town almost empty-handed. Likely, there are still soldiers guarding us in the vicinity, just not in our line of sight.


    ¡°Samua! Both this and this are delicious!¡±


    ¡°¡­ Ah. You¡¯re right. It¡¯s good.¡±


    I was shocked to see Samua started talking right after putting a piece of the food sample in his mouth.


    Jasmine was full of smiles and energy, and was so open in sharing the deliciousness with us that the people at the store kept offering her samples one after another. Each time we were offered a sample, I was the only one whogged.


    At first, I thought it was because they weren¡¯t used to eating while standing. However, after looking at their behaviour, I can¡¯t help but to feel that something is fundamentally different rather than something that they were used to.


    Up till earlier, I was depressed for not being able to give a proper answer at the sundry store to the question asked ¡°Which is better?¡±. I didn¡¯t expect to be in a different kind of haste here.


    I¡¯ve been moving my mouth for quite some time, and Kaid had been waiting for me without rushing me. While smiling,


    ¡°My Lady, this might be the first time to see someone rushing to eat.¡±


    When I saw Kaid chuckling, I ended up bing more embarrassed. I used one hand to cover up my mouth, whereas the other reached forward to stop Kaid. This is what happens if you don¡¯t have any chance tomunicate back.


    The food that they gave me to try was slightly bigger than I had expected. I had trouble trying to stabilize it before cing it into my mouth as it was on a skewer. Even when it was being passed to me, I was so nervous thinking I might end up dropping it.


    After sessfully biting the big piece into smaller pieces to have it swallowed in one bite, it was still too big for me. Reflexively, I got teary-eyed with thatst piece as I got surprised thinking that it might get stuck in my throat.


    My voice broke a little as I desperately tried to speak up.


    ¡°Please¡­don¡¯t stare too much¡­ It¡¯s embarrassing.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s because you tried to finish it in one go. It¡¯s alright for you to take it slow.¡±


    ¡°But, you wereughing at me.¡±


    I was so embarrassed that I didn¡¯t expect myself to give such a sulky response. Even though I was done eating, I kept my mouth shut and red up towards Kaid.


    ¡°I had forgotten¡­ That you¡¯re mean at times.¡±


    ¡°I apologise. I knew that you would forgive me. So, I couldn¡¯t help it.¡±


    It was the same with Helt, where sometimes he was being mean. I then turned my head away from him.


    ¡°Even I am capable of getting even with you, you know.¡±


    ¡°As much as I¡¯m interested in that, I¡¯m ashamed of my actions. By the way, what kind of payback is it?¡±


    I returned my gaze towards Kaid. He may seem to be having fun in the situation but at the same time, I could also see that he truly felt bad for his actions. I¡¯m so frustrated that I can¡¯t seem to read his true intentions. However, if I were to reveal what kind of payback I would be doing, I¡¯m sure he would be troubled rather than astonished.


    ¡°I will be randomly talking to you whenever you have your mouth filled with lots of foods.¡±


    ¡°Ah. I can just swallow them up and give a proper answer to you. So it¡¯s fine by me.¡±


    ¡°Eh? You can do that without biting? Guys are amazing. Or is it that you have arger throat?¡±


    ¡°Any other ideas?¡±


    ¡°Wait¡­ Erm¡­ That¡¯s right. I will randomly stop by your room, especially when you are done with your work and is about to have your rest time.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be happy if you do that.¡±


    ¡°Eh? Aren¡¯t you tired by then? You can be mad at me for interrupting your early rest, okay?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be delighted. Any more?¡±


    ¡°Erm¡­Let¡¯s see¡­Only your meals will be changed to food that is prepared by me.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be happy though.¡±


    ¡°Eh? You¡¯ll end up being the only one unable to eat the Chef¡¯s delicious cooking, you know?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll still be happy.¡±


    Kaid¡¯s facial expression changed to a somewhat more serious one. His previously amused and fearful face that had been floating about disappeared.


    Maybe it would have been better if he had been amused. I¡¯m really bad at conversations as well as word choices. My shoulders slumped down seeing Kaido who was neither intimidated norughing at me.


    ¡°Getting even¡­ is difficult¡­¡±


    ¡°No¡­ In a sense, they were all quite intense. Although rather than anything else, I would prefer to have thest one.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure? Back at the nursery home, I used to cook in a big pot. So, I¡¯m not that good at cooking in small portions. The pot I used was amazing! It¡¯s like a huge ball of feather duster.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t do a very good job of getting back at him, but we slowly continued our rxed conversation.

 Chapter 31. You, Me, And The Nameless Store

    <h4>Chapter 31. You, Me, And The Nameless Store</h4>


    While talking to Kaid, I looked at both Jasmine and Samua who were talking with the man who was handing out the samples earlier.


    ¡°I see. Both of you are from Laius. It must be great as it¡¯s such a big fief. I had always told myself to at least go there once, but it¡¯s not easy to.¡±


    ¡°Please doe by! Dase itself is quite big! There¡¯s so much goods around so it¡¯s quite fun!¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it? It¡¯s not an exaggeration to say that goods from all over the country went through here before going towards the Capital. Do have a look around! I¡¯m sure that you won¡¯t get bored even after one or two days here.¡±


    The proud-looking man ced his index finger on his forehead as if trying to solve a mystery and started to groan. Not long after, he snapped his finger.


    ¡°I got it! Both of you are part of the Laius¡¯ Fief Lord¡¯s group. Am I right?¡±


    ¡°Eh?! How did you know?!¡±


    Jasmine jumped up in shock. The man was so pleased with the revtion that he happily swayed his body, almost humming towards himself.


    ¡°Well¡­ regardless of therge number of people going in and out of Dase, there will be rumors going around with thatrge grouping in. I¡¯ve heard the Lord was engaged. Congrattions!¡±


    ¡°Ehehe~ Thanks a lot, uncle!¡±


    ¡°U-ncle¡­¡±


    The man slightly staggered in shock upon hearing those wordsing out gleefully from Jasmine. Samua became flustered and grabbed Jasmine to face him.


    ¡°Idiot! Even if he looks like an Uncle, you should have considered that there is a possibility that he may be an older brother instead! Also, there is another choice of not bothering to add that!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, boy. My heart just died.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not a boy!¡±


    It seems that Samua¡¯s words had delivered the final blow. The man ended up groaning in sadness.


    I wondered if we should be stepping in and peeked up towards Kaid who was wearing aplicated expression.


    ¡°My Lady¡­¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°From the perspective of the two, which category do you think I fall into?¡±


    ¡°Right¡­ I¡¯m not that sure since I had never asked but what about me? Am I younger or older than you?¡±


    ¡°My Lady is My Lady.¡±


    ¡°And Kaid is just Kaid, isn¡¯t it? I¡¯m sure both of them will say the same.¡±


    His eyes widened and started to chuckle as innocent as a child.


    He¡¯s quite a cute person, both in the way that he was concerned about age differences as well as the way he¡¯s happy with mere words. However, if I were to tell him that outright, he would be looking embarrassed and covering his face. So, I kept those words to myself.


    Even so, there is just no end to his cuteness. And I do want to tell it to him once in a while, so, as such, I¡¯m going to slide it in a few times whenever I see my chance.


    ¡°Oh well. Let¡¯s just buy a lot of stuff while promoting Laius. Ah, but.¡±


    He stopped his words as we saw Jasmine and Samua titled their heads towards us at the same angle and direction. It was as if the man was punishing them badly for some reason or some sort. Both of them looked adorable to be acting in such harmony, but Kaid and I nodded our heads in acknowledgment.


    ¡°Currently, there is a reputable jeweler from Capital in Dase right now, but for some reason, he is adamant on not selling his products to Laius.¡±


    ¡°Eh-?! Why?!¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know the specifics behind his decision but, although he is quiet just like most other craftsmen, he is not that much of a talker as well. So, no one knows why. Since he is skilled enough to be selling to the royal pce, he is a talented one, just slightly entric. Even his debut works are being offered at a high price. However, he is still determined not to sell it. At least not until he found a buyer who is capable of identifying the story behind his creation. Well, themon people don¡¯t have much to do with jewelry stores, but if you¡¯re rted to Lord Laius, it¡¯s a different story. If you need to buy jewelry, don¡¯t go to that store. Plus, I don¡¯t want the people who came to Dase to leave with a bad experience.¡±


    The shop itself must have gained quite a lot of attention for the man to be able to give that kind of detailed exnation despite being in a town where the countless number of interactionse by and go. Rather than saying that the man¡¯s tone was as if spouting gossip, he was casually speaking of what seemed to him that was the truth¡­


    ¡°Very well¡­ Can I know the name of the shop?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nameless. They don¡¯t even put up any signs or boards. Even so, people still kepting, so it must have a pretty good reputation in the capital. I don¡¯t understand the sensibility of nobility. Anyways, it¡¯s better to avoid jewelry stores that don¡¯t have a signboard. Well, I¡¯m sure that you won¡¯t bother to go close once you see it but, just in case.¡±


    We left the ce after thanking the man who said it so matter-of-factually. We then returned once again to the ce that was away from the flow of people.


    The looks on the face of the three of them were too different where Jasmine was pouting, Samua was being quite puzzled with the situation and, finally, an expressionless Kaid.


    ¡°What a nasty one, that nameless store person!¡±


    I gave a wry smile when I saw Jasmine fuming with anger.


    ¡°Right. However, there may have been some reasons behind it. Have you heard of anything with regards to that store, Kaid?¡±


    ¡°Speaking of which, there was a time where Carolina had informed me of an artisan that makes ornaments that fits the youngdy. However, he doesn¡¯t distribute it to Laius. Jasmine, the Lady just finished her meal, please don¡¯t shake her too much.¡±


    ¡°Ah. Apologies! Such a meanie isn¡¯t it Samua!¡±


    ¡°Do know I too finished not that long ago. And may I add on that you just finished eating as well.¡±


    Despite insisting that he had just finished eating, Samua still got shaken in frustration by Jasmine. But, he didn¡¯t seem to be feeling that much difort. On the other hand, I¡¯m almost depressed at my fragility where I¡¯m already feeling slightly dizzy from the shaking.


    ¡°That person is mean for being mean only towards Laius!¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ If that person is being mean then he is mean¡­¡±


    Seeing the both of them shaking each other as they were discussing, made me feel quite rxed where it doesn¡¯t matter anymore that the craftsmen were being mean or not.


    Besides, there must be some sort of circumstances that made it this way. Otherwise, he would simply be against trading with just the individuals of Laius rather than the whole of Laius itself. The scale of restriction is toorge.


    ¡°But¡­ what would happen if a resident of Laius managed to convince the craftsmen to sell his products to Laius¡­ I wonder if he would sell it¡­ Master!¡±


    ¡°Do you want to try to go?¡±


    ¡°Yes! I just wanted to try to solve the situation!¡±


    Looking at Jasmine being curious with her sparkling big eyes was cute. It¡¯s good to have interests in things but in this case, what should have been the best course of action.


    Jasmine stopped shaking Samua as the both of them fixated their gaze towards Kaid. It seems that they were curious about the shop. If I were to say that my curiosity was not piqued, I would be lying. Furthermore, I wondered if it was appropriate for us to go and search for it even.


    It was thanks to the hard work of Carolina and the others that we managed to have the ornaments to be in order despite the short notice. The color of my hairstyle has gradually be brighter these days despite how difficult it must have been to match the colors. They did a great job.


    Kaid let out a small sigh as his shoulder slumped slightly.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think we would be able to find it. But, in the case you do, please remember that you are only looking out on the store.¡±


    ¡°Roger!¡±


    ¡°Are you sure it¡¯s okay?!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m a bit curious about it too. Remember, only if we managed to find it. Right now, your initial ns should be prioritized first, is it not?¡±


    Kaid was scratching the back of his head as he said those words and the two of them just responded to that honestly. Jasmine even raised her hands in excitement.


    Then, she began to walk briskly with Samua hurriedly lined up beside her. Of course, both Kaid and I followed suit. Even though we came using a carriage today, we have been walking throughout the day. Despite this, none of us seemed to be tired. As long as we¡¯re having fun, all is great.


    ¡°Is it really fine?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s Dase and it¡¯s a fairly small town, so I don¡¯t think it will take that much time. Well, that¡¯s only if the shop can be found that easily.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right. As much as I¡¯m curious about it, I¡¯m sure that it would be better if we can¡¯t find the shop.¡±


    It should be okay if he was being rude towards Laius as per what Jasmine had said. However, if the reason stemmed from conflicts or hatred, the best action would be to stay out of his way. In the case where confrontation was unavoidable, there¡¯s nothing that we could do since our scheduled tour at the royal pce was tomorrow.


    ¡°Well, it does pique my curiosity. An artisan that had been given the authority to enter and leave the pce as he pleases refused to have a single trade with Laius. There would be some impact to that¡­ but¡±


    Since he stopped his words mid-way, I looked up at him. What I saw in his eyes as he gazed straight at me was somewhat distant. Whenever he was to reminisce about the past, he usually would have those eyes. The same goes for Caron, Isadore, and, of course, I¡¯m sure I, too, would have the same look.


    ¡°Kaid, could it be you have an idea on the reason behind it?¡±


    ¡°¡­..No.¡±


    ¡°Kaid. You¡¯re¡­ unexpectedly quite easy to read.¡±


    I told him that with a wry smile and then Kaid did the same. He was probably trying to gloss over the remark but it¡¯s already toote for that and he was aware of that fact.


    ¡°Pardon my rudeness. I just thought that if I am the cause of it, all the more reason for it not to be found. ¡°


    ¡°Do you have any idea why?¡±


    ¡°I might be overthinking this, but when ites to the person making ornaments that fits you, refuse to trade with Laius and craftsmen from the Capital¡­ Shouldn¡¯t you be the one who has an idea of who might it be?¡±


    ¡°Me?¡±


    My eyes widen in shock with that unexpected response from him. Perhaps Kaid had already anticipated my reaction but only gave out a smallugh.


    ¡°If he is an artisan that has some rtion to you, he probably would have a grudge on me. Therefore, it shouldn¡¯t be surprising for him to refuse trading with Laius.¡±


    True enough that back in those days, there¡¯s a jewelry store in the Capital that our family had loved and would frequently visit. I was ignorant of the value nor was I aware of the implications to choose it within the Capital. I merely took whatever that was handed over to me on a silver tter without sparing any second thoughts. I was just a foolish daughter.


    I gritted through the bitter memories and shook off any further lest I would drown in it. Right now, I should be thinking about the information Kaid had given me. But no matter how much I think about it, I couldn¡¯te up with a single idea.


    I still remember all of my favorite stores as well as the artisans favored by my family. However, I¡¯ve never heard nor came across a shop that refused to have a single business trading with Laius. Everyone just treated it as their job.


    Of course, it was. It¡¯s their job. There wasn¡¯t anyone who liked our family as individuals. That¡¯s just the way it is. We were that kind of family.


    A forced smile. Indifferent gazes. Their conversations with us were strangely impudent. I let out a breath of relief the moment our gazes broke apart.


    Only now that I could finally understand the meaning behind their attitude after being given a genuine smile. That time, despite smiling on the outside and their voices sounded happy and joyful, I could still see their disinterest towards us pasted on their faces. Which made it unnecessarily harder to understand.


    ¡°Kaid, I think you might be overthinking. Because I¡¯m sure there¡¯s no one out there who would be angry with us.¡±


    ¡°I do think it¡¯s possible that the target was you, My Lady. Then again, it is all mere spections. I¡¯m not sure we will be able to find the shop. Furthermore, we are to return to the inn before dinner so we won¡¯t have much time anyway.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right. I feel bad for the two who were so excited about it, but it¡¯s better that way.¡±


    Whatever reasons it may be for him to refuse trading with Laius, it¡¯s probably for the best.


    As I let out a soft sigh, I felt a big hand wrapped around mine. I blinked in surprise and turned to look at Kaid, smiling with a slightly troubled look on his face. Seeing him that way made me sure that I too have the same look on my face.


    Although they weren¡¯t memories, I have too many connections in the Capital. Those connections would inevitably turn into bitter memories. That could probablye in between Kaid and me¡­ For me to get shaken up with just spection. I have to get a grip on myself.


    ¡°Fufu¡­ I never thought the day where I would be able to hold hands with you woulde.¡±


    ¡°Same goes for me.¡±


    Kaid, who is taller than me, slowed down slightly to walk alongside me without pulling me. Even though we were holding hands, I was d that I didn¡¯t need to quicken my pace. It¡¯s probably because I was walking slowly, that we were nearly left behind by the two that were in front of us.


    The moment the both of them saw us, they hurriedly headed toward us. Seeing that, Kaid and I ended up calling them out with a smile.

 Chapter 32. You, Me, And The Nameless Store II

    <h4>Chapter 32. You, Me, And The Nameless Store II</h4>


    It¡¯smon sense to assume that those who wear the same uniform, belong to the same organization. Furthermore, they would share the same principles.


    What lies as the subject of our attention was a group of men wearing the same cored clothing gathered in a building. The reason why there were so manying in and out was that Dase is a big town. These men armed with swords on their waists are the patrolmen of the town. It may be a small one for a station, but even so, its functions remained unchanged.


    ¡°My Lady, can I make a confession?¡±


    ¡°Go ahead.¡±


    With his gaze fixed onto the building, Kaid continued with a nearly inaudible voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m actually not that blessed with good luck.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s just¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s the truth. Though it¡¯s not that I¡¯m not blessed with happiness, I just have terrible luck of sorts.¡±


    ¡°Kaid¡­¡±


    ¡°The proof of my words is¡­ as you can see yourself¡­¡±


    Kaid, who had said those words with a depressed tone, was staring towards the station, no ¨C to be exact, the store without any signage that was just right beside it. It all started with a wallet that was picked up.


    It was Jasmine, who said, ¡°Ah,¡± and ran towards us. The wallet that had fallen into the shadows seemed to have belonged to a man. The reason being that women would generally put their wallets in their bags whereas men tend to put theirs in their pockets. Hence, most of the wallets found on the streets belong to men. Although, I¡¯ve heard that there was a recent trend in stores where they started to sell products aimed towards women. That¡¯s because women tend to drop or forget the items whenever they put them in or take them out from their bags.


    As I was never the one being involved when buying items in both my previous and current life, so I wasn¡¯t familiar with the trends nor situations. Now when I heard the exnation, it finally made sense to me.


    With a troubled expression on her face, Jasmine passed the wallet over to Kaid. He did a quick check to see if there were any indications of a pickpocketed wallet. Luckily, the wallet was just a simple case of it being lost. However, there weren¡¯t any appropriate locations for us to hand the wallet over, so we decided to bring it to the patrol station.


    Who would have expected that the store of interest that was deemed earlier better off not found stood right beside the station?


    Just as we had heard, there weren¡¯t any signboards being ced either.


    But just now, I saw a youngdy in a beautiful dresse out with several of her attendants. Only when I saw a well-dressed young boy seeing them off that I knew that this was ¨C in fact, a store. I managed to take a quick nce inside the store before the door could fully close ¨C I saw that there were a few ss cases.


    The shop has a stable customer base as it was originally opened by an artisan from the Capital. There weren¡¯t many products that were being disyed at the front of the shop. Of course, there are cases where the merchandise would be at the back of the store. But those are the ones that were made ording to their client¡¯s preferences. That is because, fundamentally, the higher the cost of the product is, the more likely it will be catered towards the client¡¯s requirements.


    Judging from the appearance of the store, it wasn¡¯t that big. If that¡¯s the case, it is wiser for them to maintain their stable rtionship with their regr clients. Aspared to having arge signboard disyed and chased by customers that were in it due to mere curiosity.


    Despite handling expensive items such as jewelry itself, there weren¡¯t any security guards standing by the shop¡¯s entrance. I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s due to theck of manpower; or if it¡¯s because the next door is a patrol station where they have a sense of security.


    ¡°It¡¯s amazing how lucky we can be! Look! When we were about to return the wallet, we reached the shop itself!¡±


    ¡°Seriously. You¡¯re something. Speaking of which, you constantly strike at lotteries too. You are truly blessed with Lady Luck on your side. I am so envious of you. Whenever I try any lucky draw at any store, I always get flower seeds as a participation prize. So, I ended up giving those to the gardener which he was quite pleased with. In return, I got snacks though.¡±


    ¡°Eh, that¡¯s nice¡­ Could it be that it was the snacks that you shared with usst time?¡±


    ¡°Yes. That¡¯s the one. It was quite delicious¡­ But my luck couldn¡¯t hold a candle to yours.¡±


    Not realizing the slightly depressed Kaid, Jasmine puffed out her chest with pride.


    ¡°To lose against Jasmine¡¯s luck¡­ Could this be due to the difference in one¡¯s virtue¡­?¡±


    ¡°What are you talking about, Kaid? You too are a fine and wonderful person. I really really respect you as well as I like you very much. Despite this, you still speak such depressing words. Don¡¯t say such things.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, My Lady ¨C Wait!¡±


    Kaid cut his words short as he reached out both of his hands to grab Jasmine who was about to dash off and Samua, who was chasing after her. They had already taken a few steps ahead but Kaid caught both of them with arge step forward, he grabbed onto their wrists and pulled them back, and returned to his original position.


    ¡°Since it is very likely for the store owner to be dissatisfied with Laius, I¡¯ll be the first one to go. Please, do act with caution. I am entrusted by your parents to take care of their precious children, both here and back at the mansion. What am I supposed to do if anything were to happen to you?¡±


    Both Jasmine and Samua apologized with their heads tilted down and then shifted themselves behind me. With them secured both my left and right side, they whispered.


    ¡°Hey¡­ Shirley, in such situations, shouldn¡¯t we be the ones to go first?¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it? It would be more of a problem if something happens to the Master instead. Right? Shirley?¡±


    I understand their point of view, and I wanted to say ¡®You¡¯re right¡¯ to them. Yet, at the same time, I want to tell them, ¡®It¡¯s not like that.¡¯ No matter how much I wracked my head, I couldn¡¯t find the answer to this dilemma.


    ¡°Erm¡­¡±


    The one who called out was none other than our initial target ¨C one of the patrolmen.


    He looked like he was nearing retirement and showed up from the station. With his hat being out of ce, he walked over towards us across the street.


    ¡°Thank goodness you¡¯re still around. It¡¯s about the wallet which you passed over. After checking the identifications in the wallet, it belongs to the Young Master next door!¡±


    ¡°Eh?! Really?!¡±


    Jasmine eximed. Samua and her had the same shocked expression where their eyes widened in surprise.


    ¡°So, it belonged to one of the store¡¯s employees¡­¡±


    ¡°Ah. It¡¯s that boy who was holding a broom. Oi! Namon!¡±


    A sound of a bell giving a quick and heavy trinkle was then heard. A boy that was carrying a broom came out from inside the store. It was the same boy who had seen the youngdy off earlier.


    He looked like he was about the same age as Jasmine and Samua. Since he seemed too young to be the artisan, I guess he might be the assistant or an apprentice of sorts.


    With his eyes wide open, the boy whose name got called, searched for the source. Finally, his eyes noticed the man across the street who was waving his wallet in the air. Instantly, he let out an ¡®Ah!¡¯ with a relieved tone. Flustered, he quickly put his broom aside and charged across the street. Then, the man handed over the wallet to the boy.


    ¡°M-My wallet!¡±


    ¡°Just as I thought. Do thank them. These are the people who had picked it and had brought it over.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Mister.¡±


    ¡°Please be careful next time. See you.¡±


    The two of them seemed to know each other, as they were standing next to each other. The man returned to his duties with a wave of his hand, and the boy lowered his head. Jasmine gave a small wave.


    After seeing the man off, the boy spun himself to face us.


    ¡°I was troubled since I just got my pay recently. Thank you so much!¡±


    ¡°If you wish to express your gratitude, say it to her instead.¡±


    He must have discerned who was the person in charge of the group. The boy was right in his observation when he faced Kaid to express his thanks. However, without even looking back, Kaid pointed his thumb at Jasmine, who was standing a step behind me.


    The boy nodded understandingly and bowed his head towards Jasmine.


    ¡°Thank you very much.¡±


    ¡°No problem. It¡¯s a good thing that you¡¯ve found your wallet, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    Jasmine was smiling widely with happiness. She is really a kind-hearted girl that is capable of taking in joy from someone else¡¯s happiness as if it were her own.


    After thanking Jasmine many times, he then interjected.


    ¡°I can¡¯t offer much hospitality, but you are wee to have a cup of tea if you like. I just received some delicious sweets.¡±


    ¡°Eh?! Is it okay?! Ah¡­ no, but¡­¡±


    ¡°Are there¡­ someplications?¡±


    Jasmine looked in our direction with a troubled look pasted on her face. Then, Samua, who was standing beside her, offered his helping hand.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. We¡¯ve already heard a few situations about your store from the Gift Shop. And, we are from Laius.¡±


    Jasmine nodded awkwardly beside Samua, who had made an honest exmation. Seriously, the two of them are quite straightforward. On the other hand, Kaid was trying to see how the situation would unfold and remained silent as he watched over them.


    The boy gave a surprised ¡°Eh?¡± before starting to groan in thought.


    ¡°Laius¡­ Hmm¡­ Laius¡­ Quite true that Master was¡­ Hmm¡­¡±


    ¡°You know¡­ I¡¯m concerned about the issue of trading with us which can be solved, but you don¡¯t need to force yourself. We are here merely to deliver your wallet, we don¡¯t have any intention to trouble you.¡±


    The boy was stunned at Jasmine¡¯s words and huffed out a breath. Then, a smile was seen.


    ¡°You guys are such good people. If you had known about our stand, why did you keep quiet about who you are and enter? Sure,e in,e in. If anything, I¡¯ll exin it to Master.¡±


    ¡°However, wouldn¡¯t you get reprimanded instead? In that case, we will just leave.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry. The Master isn¡¯t the kind of person that would be rude to someone that had helped him.¡±


    The boy tucked his wallet that he had been holding onto so openly and fixed his clothes. Then, he straightened his back and held out one hand.


    ¡°Once again, my name is Namon. Thank you for delivering my lost wallet!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m Jasmine!¡±


    ¡°I am Samua. And the person here is my Master and his fianc¨¦e, Lady Shirley.¡±


    I gave a quick bow when Samua introduced me. Namon gave an excellent bow that was befitting of an employee working with jewelry. Despite being so young, I could tell that he is a well-trained employee.


    ¡°Coincidentally, there won¡¯t be any visitors at the moment. So please do make yourselvesfortable.¡±


    We then proceeded to cross the street while being careful of the passing carriages. The boy then took the broom he had ced earlier and held it behind him with a hand. The other hand opened the store¡¯s door then, Jasmine and Samua nervously walked in.


    ¡°The Lord as well. Do sit whichever you like.¡±


    Both Kaid and I went through the door that Namon had held open for us. He then went on to keep his broom further back from the store. Inside the store itself, there wasn¡¯t anyone else. I was worried about the shop¡¯s security, but because the ss box containing the jewelry and silverware was locked and secured, so I guess it was safe.


    Compared to the big stores, it is quite a small store. Even so, it doesn¡¯t have many unnecessary items. This, in turn, helped in making the store appear like it wasn¡¯t that small. Typically, you can determine the current trend of the shop by looking at the shelves. This store has many beautiful items that are elegant, yet very morous, but not too shy as well.


    Caron always used to say that it suited me. I would be happy if it looked good on me. However, even if that wasn¡¯t the case, the items in the store match my taste very well.


    It has been a long time since I¡¯ve been to a jewelry store. Most of the stores that I used to frequent were big and mostly alreadypleted products. But, in this store, they don¡¯t have many items. In addition, they didn¡¯t show much either other than the current trends for that product.


    While watching Jasmine and Samua peering through the ss boxes and shelves with so much interest, I chose a random seat to sit in. On the other hand, Kaid took a seat beside me. He covered his face with one hand and let his head hang


    ¡°Such people do exist¡­ Those who get things done smoothly using their own pace¡­ I would never have thought we would be able to get in using a straightforward approach.¡±


    ¡°Well. Both of them are good people.¡±


    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s because they don¡¯t have any opposite sides, or just that they¡¯re innocent, or it¡¯s because people will know in one nce that the two are harmless people¡­ Since honest children are all so cute¡­!¡±


    ¡°Kaid, I do think that you are quite a cute person.¡±


    The fact that she gets depressed over something so cute like that is very adorable.


    After I said that, I heard Kaid took a gulp.


    ¡°If you had told me that I¡¯m cute, I don¡¯t think I¡¯d ever be able to recover. My Lady, you tend to do that in the past, but haven¡¯t there been an increase of moments where you told me of your honest thoughts recently?¡±


    ¡°Is that so¡­?¡±


    I thought about it for a bit while Kaid was staring at me with a somewhat pouty look. I ced a finger to my mouth to think for a while, and the moment a reason came to mind, my face flushed red!


    I instantly felt embarrassed and hid my reddened cheeks by turning over.


    The reason why I am bing more honest with my thoughts¡­ There is no other reason than that. Aaah! I¡¯m so embarrassed!!


    ¡°Mydy?¡±


    ¡°¡­Ah¡­ I was¡­ acting spoiled¡­ Please forgive¡­me¡­¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­Understood.¡±


    As I was looking down, wallowing in embarrassment, I finally heard Kaid¡¯s response after a long, long silence. However, in return, I will never know what kind of expression Kaid was making when he had said those words.

 Chapter 33. You, Me, And The Nameless Store III

    <h4>Chapter 33. You, Me, And The Nameless Store III</h4>


    I know I couldn¡¯t keep my head facing down the whole time. However, the heat that was flushing through my cheeks wouldn¡¯t calm itself down. As long as it was still flushed, I couldn¡¯t afford to look up.


    While I was distracted by my anxious self, what helped me to look back up was the panic of realizing that someone wasing out from the back of the store. If it wasn¡¯t for that, I think I would have never looked up.


    The first sensation that I felt as the world revealed itself to me other than the floor; was the feeling of d¨¦j¨¤ vu.


    At first, I had thought that it would only be Namon that came back. Instead, Namon was behind a young man and moved along gently with a tray lined with drinks. Could it be that the person in front of him, the Master he had mentioned?


    The young man that was holding a little beautiful blue box ¨C which already looked like a jewel as itself; was probably about the same age as Kaid, or possibly younger. He has unique wavy silver hair and blue eyes. He then began staring at every one of us and, his blue eyes widened the moment itnded on Kaid. The young man continued to look straight at Kaid.


    On the other hand, Kaid didn¡¯t seem to be fazed by that act. Although, I could see from his shoulders that he tensed up.


    The young man let out a very heavy sigh.


    ¡°Namon, you¡­ Of all people that you invited in¡­¡±


    ¡°Eh?¡±


    Even though his disciple tilted his head questioningly at his remark, the young man maintained his attention towards Kaid.


    ¡°It seems that my disciple has inconvenienced you. I apologize for the troubles, Laius¡¯s ruler, Lord Kaid Fallua,¡±


    Earlier, Kaid had mentioned that the people in the shop might be acquaintances of mine, but it seemed that they were associated with him instead. The feeling of meeting him somewhere before must have been just my imagination. Simply because I have no memory of him, neither of any jewelry artisan nor a jewelry shop. Plus, he is too young to be involved with in the first ce.


    Most of the people that we dealt with are those who had years of experience in the field. In the case that they were to be around Kaid¡¯s age, they must have been a child at that time. That means that they wouldn¡¯t be out in the store then. Which in turn, would make it harder to have both of us meet. All the more if it was during that period.


    ¡°Fief Lord¡­?¡±


    Namon was wide-eyed upon hearing the revtion behind the identity of Kaid. He then quickly leveled the tray that was about to topple due to the shock. At the same time, seeing that the tray was about to tip over, Jasmine and Samua instinctively leaned over the ss case and had their hands outstretched to help support the tray. However, the tray that required three people to support; could not be returned or go forward as it was now, in a deadlock.


    ¡°As I thought, he was acquainted with you, isn¡¯t he?¡±


    ¡°Eh?¡±


    I flinched in surprise when Kaid whispered softly in my ear. However, he did not mention anything further and held up the tray in between the three people that were stuck in a standstill.


    ¡°Thank you, Master!¡±


    ¡°I apologize, Master!¡±


    ¡°Th¡­ank y¡­ou, my Lo-rd?¡±


    After getting three different reactions from one, Kaid took the tray from him with a hand and asked.


    ¡°Can I ce it on top of the ss cases?¡±


    ¡°Ah! My apologies! You can put it on the table over there. Thank you!¡±


    Namon tried to have Kaid hand over the tray back to him as he was the one to serve the drinks. However, he got blocked by the ss cases that he didn¡¯t realize were there. He hurriedly slipped through the gap between them to get over. However, by that time, Kaid had already ced the tray onto the table that he had already decided upon.


    Namon thanked him in nk amazement. He then took a step back and while keeping his eyes on Kaid, returned to stand in between Jasmine and Samua.


    ¡°The Laius¡¯s Lord is quite friendly, isn¡¯t he? He¡¯s much easier than most of the noblemen out there, that¡¯s for sure¡­¡±


    ¡°Right? Right?! Our Master is really kind, you know!¡±


    ¡°He constantly helps us so much to the point I feel guilty for letting him help¡­¡±


    They might be thinking that they were talking discreetly and softly. However, their whole conversation could be heard clearly from our side. Kaid had a wry smile on his face but he didn¡¯t have it shown to them. He probably wanted to pretend not to hear it for their sake.


    With both of his hands finally freed, he then folded it in front of his chest and lightly leaned himself against the wall. And his eyes were fixated towards Namon¡¯s mentor.


    ¡°Well then, it has been 15 years, hasn¡¯t it?¡±


    15 years. The years that went by were enough to astonish a child. It was thought that Namon¡¯s mentor was slightly surprised at the time that had passed as well. In my case, it was not the years that passed that surprised me. 15 years ago, it held a special meaning. We are the ones who know the end of it all, the begging, and the unnamable feeling that is within us.


    ¡°¡­You remembered it?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to keep speaking in such a mannerism. Besides, I remember everyone who hade for that business. Of course, there would be many changes towards a person after 15 years, but I¡¯m good at remembering faces. Now then, you are Fennell Nion, right? Unless that name was an alias.¡±


    I tried to search for any recollection of the name, Fennell Nion, within my memories. As expected, nothing came into my mind.


    As I have already gone through my old memories as a form of preparing myself before going to the royal pce, it should have been easier for me to recall anything. But there wasn¡¯t any name nor family name that resembled ¡®Fennell Nion¡¯. Even so, Kaid said that he is somewhat connected to me. I wondered if Fennell was more involved with my other family members instead. Both my mother and grandmother used to invite the jewelers directly to the house. However, I never remembered seeing them bringing their children along ¨C not even children of their apprentices or menial workers.


    Kaid had mentioned that he remembered his face. Which means he had seen him directly before. Could it be that Kaid was the one who interacted with him in my stead?


    I was so engrossed in trying to search through my memories that I was startled by his nce. The young man was looking at me as intently as I was at him. On his face, I noticed the slight difort shown.


    I ended up staring at someone whom I had never met before. Regardless of if it isn¡¯t the first time, it is impolite to stare too much at someone. Before I could apologize for my rudeness, the young man let out a sigh and ced the blue box on the ss. Perhaps because it was ced so gently, there was hardly a sound.


    ¡°It¡¯s my real name. I don¡¯t have any sins for me to be using aliases¡­¡±


    ¡°Well, I suppose you don¡¯t.¡±


    Not many people are capable of switching their tone of voice on the spot whenever they please. However, Fennell could easily change his tone to one that he probably usually uses.


    Both of them have the look and voice that was anything but smiling. Fennell¡¯s gaze that once shifted away flowed back towards me. I was feeling slightly conflicted when he was staring intently at me. However, that itself made me feel even more ashamed for doing the same thing towards him earlier.


    ¡°Pleased to meet you. My name is Shirley Hince.¡±


    Fennell introduced himself after I had presented myself with a simple and agreeable greeting. Even after that, Fennell continued to stare at me. I look up at him, wondering at his gradually growing suspicious look.


    ¡°¡­Pardon for my rudeness but have we met somewhere before?¡±


    ¡°¡­No. Ever since I was born and for 15 years, I had never traveled out of Laius.¡±


    For a moment he was taken aback by my statement, but he decided not to pursue the matter.


    I was grateful that he didn¡¯t press on further, but I couldn¡¯t let his words go unheard. I pondered to myself once again if I had met him before. I went through my memory repeatedly, but the name still didn¡¯t ring a bell to me, and it was difficult to remember his face. Plus, it is unusual for Kaid to be able to recognize the appearance of a child that he met 15 years ago in the first ce.


    Despite this, I couldn¡¯t just let it slide as long as Kaid continued to im that the young man was somehow rted to me.


    The moment Fennell¡¯s eyes shifted away from me, I tried to assemble the information in my head. A boy. A child. A jeweler. The capital. I went around within my memories while relying on what I know. I still don¡¯t remember his name, his face, or even the color of his hair.


    ¡°¡­is¡­¡±


    Although not having much to pinpoint him being in my memories, something shed through my mind. But, before I could delve further into that portion of my memory, I ended up getting distracted by a voice that shouted out.


    It was Jasmine who had enough of the prickly and tense atmosphere. Her face suddenly turned pale, and she hurriedly rushed in to approach us.


    ¡°I apologize for interrupting your talk. But I¡¯m really sorry! I wanted to stop by to enquire about a few things and My Lord was forced to apany us. So¡­ That¡¯s why¡­ I¡¯m sorry for the trouble! We will leave!¡±


    Kaid and Fennell were lost at words by Jasmine¡¯s sudden deep bow that looked as if she was going to break herself into two. They had probably been taken aback by her intensity. Both stopped whatever they were doing after witnessing the desperation of the youngdy. On the other hand, Jasmine was about to lose her mind worrying about how the two of them took her statement.


    Seeing the desperation, Kaid became flustered and was about to say something. Instead, it was Fennell who managed to utter first.


    ¡°No¡­I¡¯m grateful for you helping my disciple out. Thank you for your help. Thank you.¡±


    ¡°N-No¡­ It¡¯s fine. Instead, I¡¯m sorry for forcing you to say it out loud! But, even so, I¡¯m d! I was really worried about that.¡±


    Jasmine¡¯s face lit up with a wide smile and Fennell seemed to be smiling faintly at her. He was grateful just as he had said earlier. That made me think that even if I don¡¯t know much about him, I¡¯m sure he is not a bad person.


    Namon then moved away from Samua¡¯s side, whose shoulders slump at the sudden rxation of the atmosphere, to take his ce beside his mentor.


    ¡°Erm, Master¡­? Are you perhaps acquainted with Laius¡¯s Lord?¡±


    Namon peeked through sheepishly as he asked his mentor the question. Although Fennell didn¡¯t answer anything, since he wasn¡¯t facing him, his questions were considered answered. I¡¯m not sure how deep their rtionship are as mentor-mentee but I¡¯m confident that they aren¡¯t on bad terms. However, seeing that Namon was unaware of it, it might be that Fennell didn¡¯t want to answer it ¨C especially in front of us, who are from Laius itself.


    But for some reason, as soon as Fennell¡¯s eyes met mine, he had a very strange look on his face. He looked at me as if he were looking at something strange, and then it changed into an expression as if he couldn¡¯t believe it.


    ¡°We¡¯ve met once, 15 years ago.¡±


    Fennell finally responded after moments of silence had passed by. Namon wasn¡¯t surprised at the short answer that was given as he was used to being provided minimal information from his mentor. Namon wanted to speak up and asked something but instead, he got cut off by Fennell. So, he swallowed back his words.


    ¡°He was the man who broke my vows and wishes.¡±


    Those words that threaded quietly, felt heavier as it spoke.


    The nonchnce held by the voice had darkened the atmosphere around the room. However, both Kaid and Fennell weren¡¯t fazed by it.


    At that moment, it urred to me. Could this be what had transcribed over the 15 years? I don¡¯t know if there¡¯s something that happened between the two of them. I don¡¯t even know whether I¡¯m somehow rted to their strife or not. However, what I¡¯m sure of was that if it was 15 years ago, it would have been possible for them to create the same tense atmosphere of this intensity.


    They suffered. Like many of those who were involved with Laius 15 years ago were hurt. I may not ever realize how deep their scar was or what among countless possible reasons that had caused them those suffering. But I know it was something that couldn¡¯t be spoken so easily in the first ce. no matter how it may be told. All the more when it was a scar that they had within them even after 15 years until today.


    Those years that I¡¯m unable to move away from, some people managed to keep on going. And today, I may be witnessing that being set in motion once again.


    Deep down, I wished that the people¡¯s scars would just disappear without leaving a single trace behind. Wished that it would heal, vanish over time, and all the pain would vanish where in the end, everyone could attain their happiness. However, I know. I know that it is both unfair and unreasonable for me to hope for such a thing. That¡¯s because I had wallowed in my own shell for so long and it was only recently that I finally was able to start to pave myself forward.

 Chapter 34. You, Me, And The Nameless Store IV

    <h4>Chapter 34. You, Me, And The Nameless Store IV</h4>


    Fennell looked at the three people that were frozen stiff, starting from his disciple. Then, he lightly beckoned both Jasmine and Samua over to him. The two of them exchanged nces with each other before carefully approaching him.


    Fennell did turn his nce towards me as well. Plus, the two that were caught by him had their sight fixed towards me. It was as if they were troubled with the situation and were pleading for help. Looking at the two who are dear to me, I couldn¡¯t say no. I had no reason to.


    Kaid and I stood beside each of them so that the two of them would be nked by us. It was quitefortable to see the relief on their faces when we did that. I¡¯m sure Kaid must have thought the same too. Heughed and patted Samua¡¯s head who was standing next to him, and Samua looked at me with a troubled look. Seeing that, Kaid gave me a sad look. Samua wore the same look of helplessness that he had.


    As a blue box got pushed into our view, all eyes were then fixated on the box.


    It was a box that had pale blue scale-like textures around its surfaces. Could its color change depend on the angle of where the light reflects? Sometimes it¡¯s dark blue and, sometimes, it¡¯s pale blue. It¡¯s captivating enough that you will not get tired of it no matter how long you look at it.


    ¡°It¡¯s so beautiful¡­¡±


    I could only agree with Jasmine¡¯s exmation that unconsciously leaked out from her mouth. It was uttered so softly and as natural as breathing that you wouldn¡¯t feel any force behind her words.


    It is truly a beautiful box, to the point that I want to just have a touch of it. I still couldn¡¯t believe that it was created to store something inside it.


    Fennell halted his actions just as he touched the box with both of his hands. He then asked.


    ¡°This question is for all of you who have now seen the box. What kind of impression do you have on jewels?¡±


    Being unable to determine the possible reason behind his question, I reflexively kept my mouth shut. Many people who had themselves been pulled off the rug and lost their lives when they had identally said unnecessarily things. However, Fennell wasn¡¯t the type of person who would probe using questions like that, yet, my body naturally went on the defensive. I felt so ashamed of myself.


    ¡°Uhh¡­ It¡¯s beautiful, yet cute but expensive!¡±


    Jasmine was the first one to answer, her eyes twinkling with excitement. She was excited to see what was inside the box. She was shaking her body gingerly and her excitement was in to see in everyone¡¯s eyes.


    ¡°Erm¡­ I know my analogy may sound quite weird, but it¡¯s like a one-of-a-kind piece of candy sculpture made by a craftsman!¡±


    ¡°Right! Samua¡¯s father is a confectionery artisan! He is really good!¡±


    Jasmine continued on with a bright smile. Her tone and expressions were as if she was talking of her own parents which had made Samua flushed sheepishly. Fennell was slightly astounded by the sight of the both of them.


    I am tempted to brag to the whole world that these two adorable people are the child of Laius, that they work in the house of the Laius¡¯s lord, and are my dearest friends.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s strange. It¡¯s quite a nice metaphor. That¡¯s what I think.¡±


    ¡°T-Thank you very much.¡±


    ¡°Namon. Since you always give such stiff answers, you should learn a few from him.¡±


    ¡°I-I asked you to keep that fact a secret, didn¡¯t I?¡±


    However, Fennellpletely ignored theint that came from Namon, as he was looking towards Kaid who let out a slight grin upon seeing the scene. The moment their eyes had met, Fennell gave an eye signal towards Kaid of sorts ¨C urging him to respond. At that instant, Kaid¡¯s expression turned serious.


    ¡°I have to do it as well¡­?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    ¡°No¡­I ¡­ I think it¡¯s better if I don¡¯t?¡±


    ¡°I was honest enough to admit that the boy who is under my wing might be strange, and I answered him sincerely. How is it that a man who is a Lord over a territory should run away?¡±


    Kaid looked troubled as he got thrown with the sound statement. He had this ¡®weakened¡¯ look all over his face. Seriously, as long as he doesn¡¯t keep his guard up, he is surprisingly an easy person to understand.


    ¡°It hurts to hear you say that¡­ But, don¡¯t get angry, okay?¡±


    ¡°No, I will.¡±


    ¡°Namon, your teacher is quite strict.¡±


    Namon immediately nodded his head with such vigor and agreement with Kaid. At that moment, Fennell¡¯s hand, while still looking at Kaid, swatted the back of Namon¡¯s head. It made me smile to get a glimpse into the daily life between the two of them.


    Kaid took a nce at me and then took a deep breath, as if he had made up his mind.


    ¡°You can¡¯t eat it.¡±


    ¡°Obviously.¡±


    Fennell retorted as soon as Kaid made his point.


    It was a perspective that was understandable, given by Kaid¡¯s upbringing. Yes, jewels may be valuable, expensive, and beautiful. However, no matter how many of them you have, they are useless to the starving people that are right in front of you. I heard that the winters in Korchia are very harsh. So, regardless of how valuable the jewel may be. It is just a beautiful stone that isn¡¯t capable of filling anyone¡¯s stomach as long as there isn¡¯t any food avable in thend to exchange for it.


    But that doesn¡¯t mean that the jeweller couldn¡¯t nod his head in agreement with the answer.


    ¡°What about you, my Lady?¡±


    An awkward silence fell into the room, and as an attempt to lift the atmosphere, Kaid prompted for my response even before Fennell could do it. Whenever he is in trouble or if he feels ufortable, I want to help him get out of that situation as soon as possible. I turned to Kaid and gave him a small smile.


    I¡¯m not sure if it¡¯s considered fortunate or not, but my impression towards jewels was already firmly established. So it wasn¡¯t that difficult for me to answer.


    ¡°A charm.¡±


    All of them blinked widely at my answer. But Fennell was different, his eyes were wide.


    ¡°Did you mean a good luck charm?¡±


    Jasmine asked me with her eyes full of wonder, and I said yes.


    ¡°Jewels are very expensive and valuable after all.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right! They¡¯re surprisingly so expensive! Also, they¡¯re so beautiful where you would think it¡¯s natural for them to be that beautiful! It¡¯s really amazing!¡±


    ¡°Yes, it is. As such, you would want to be worthy of it if you¡¯re going to use it. Most of the time, I would wear my jewelry in public. So that if I ever end up bing very tired, if my head hurts, if my feet hurt, if I¡¯ve had a long chat with someone I don¡¯t like, if I want to go home; I will remember that I am wearing a beautiful piece of jewelry and it makes me stand up firmer. It gives me strength, because I know I can¡¯t afford to look bad when I¡¯m wearing something so beautiful.¡±


    ¡°Ah! So that¡¯s why it¡¯s a good luck charm! I have something like that too! When I wear my new clothes, shoes, or even hair ornaments, I feel like I will try a bit harder. If it¡¯s a cute outfit, I would want to do my hair properly too!¡±


    Jasmine was the only one who had caught the gist and understood my words easily. But, for the men, they seemed to be having trouble taking it in.


    But there was something wrong with Fennell. He kept staring at me. If it weren¡¯t for the frightening seriousness shown in his eyes, you¡¯d think that he was ring at you. I¡¯m not sure it was because of what I had said that might be odd, but I feel like it¡¯s wrong to look away now, so I stared back at him.


    Then, in a sh, like a swift flow of currents, Fennell pped Namon on the back of his head.


    ¡°How could the disciple of a jewelry artisan be dumbfounded by the response he gets?¡±


    ¡°Y-yes! I¡¯ll be more diligent!¡±


    When Samua saw Namon struggling so desperately to straighten his posture and his back, he muttered softly, ¡°I¡¯m d I¡¯m a butler¡­¡±


    However, that didn¡¯t go unheard by Jasmine as she whispered to him, ¡°A butler that fails to understand the heart of his mistress will get reprimanded, you know~¡±


    Hearing that, Samua turned to face me with a very saddened expression on his face.


    However, I noticed. I noticed that the sad and anxious stares towards me didn¡¯te from Samua alone. Kaid was looking just as mncholic.


    I ended up bing flustered as I tried to tell them that I wouldn¡¯t get angry with them. Just after I finished my words, I heard a soft ck sound and focused my attention back to Fennell. He was trying to open the lid of the box without bothering to give anyone any warning. Jasmine quickly rushed up and tried to peep into the contents of the blue box.


    ¡°Go ahead.¡±


    Except for the first sound, the box opened with little noise made, I didn¡¯t realise that initially. The reason being that I was entranced by the beautiful blue that was filling the already mesmerizing blue box.


    ¡°It¡¯s beautiful¡­¡±


    This time, it was my turn to let my thoughts escape from my mouth.


    The silver body of the box was studded with blue jewels, which, depending on the angle, would appear in different shades of blue. The multipleyers of blue light resembled the beauty of the natural creation despite it supposed to be artificial. It was so beautiful that it seemed like it¡¯s something that I should not touch. It felt as if I got swallowed up by a terrifyingly enthralling blue light.


    In that box revealed a delicate teal ne that took my breath away.


    ¡°Well then, can you tell me the motif for the ne?¡±


    I was so mesmerized by the item that I could barely hear Fennell¡¯s words. However, if it wasn¡¯t for that, I wouldn¡¯t be able to snap out of it. That¡¯s right. That was his original intention for opening the box.


    They must have been just as fascinated as I was. Jasmine and the others appeared flustered and started to stutter.


    ¡°Er¡­ Let¡¯s see¡­ Flowers!¡±


    ¡°Wrong.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s no use! Even if I get it right, I can¡¯t afford to buy it!¡±


    It¡¯s nice to see Jasmine thinking and grieving with all her might at the same time. The focus that was lost due to the jewel¡¯s beauty returned almost instantly. As expected, Jasmine is amazing.


    ¡°I know I¡¯m wrong but¡­ sugar sculpting.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right. It¡¯s wrong.¡±


    ¡°Of course, isn¡¯t it¡­¡±


    It seemed that Samua gave the answer despite knowing that it¡¯s definitely a mistake. His standard of beauty must be art produced and created by confectioners. That itself is a lovely sensibility.


    ¡°Stars.¡±


    ¡°Definitely wrong.¡±


    ¡°Hey¡­I knew that it would be wrong, but you¡¯re being quite hard only towards me.¡±


    The three of them were utterly defeated. Which means that I am the only one left who had the right to answer. Earlier, I was taken aback by the allure, but now, I had to think this through.


    As I gazed at it, I saw a small blue jewel, reflecting in the light and scattering a shimmering blue light. At first, I thought that it might be ¡®Water¡¯. However, something didn¡¯t sit right with that and denied my thought. Something¡­ was bugging me. Ever since meeting Fennell for the first time ¨C something was gnawing at me.


    Who is he in the first ce? Kaid did mention that he had some sort of rtion with me. Child¡­ and jewels¡­


    The ne was embellished with other smaller pieces of the blue jewel. A blue ne that seemed to move ording to the angle. Yes, it may undte but it isn¡¯t water. It¡¯s a living thing. However, I don¡¯t know any creature that has this color. I don¡¯t know but¡­


    I actually don¡¯t have any confidence in it. I didn¡¯t even mean to say it in the first ce. But the word slipped out my mouth without me realizing it.


    ¡°¡­Dragon.¡±


    Fennell¡¯s eyes that had been staring at me for quite some time, widened in surprise.


    ¡ºThen, I will make a ne that is strong enough to protect you, my Lady.¡»


    I remembered. The child that wore the hat lower than needed.


    ¡ºSo, I would like to request my Lady to name my shop when the timees.¡»


    Wasn¡¯t there a lock of silver hair that was peeking out from the hat? I recalled the boy whose name I did not know of, whose features that I could only remember, was the smile reflected on his face. As soon as I knew what the ne was based on, it came back to me all of the sudden.


    ¡ºIt¡¯s a promise.¡»


    He¡­is that child.

 Chapter 35. You, Me And The Nameless Store V

    <h4>Chapter 35. You, Me And The Nameless Store V</h4>


    Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed an olive-green hat. Perhaps it was because I was bored that I became fixated on it.


    I was thrilled to be surrounded by such magnificent jewels. However, I did not let myself bepletely enthralled by it as much as my mother and grandmother.


    Furthermore, I¡¯ve already made a decision on which one I¡¯ll be getting. Probably it¡¯s because I have a different set of conditions and criteria for choosing jewelry, but I am always the first toplete my shopping.


    After taking a nce at both my mother and grandmother, I could see that they will be taking much more time since their focus wasn¡¯t towards anything else other than jewelry.


    Since I have been sitting still and proper like a good child would all this time, no one had their attention towards my presence. Both mother and grandmother did look at me from time to time, and the shopkeeper would smile at me. Then, I would return the smile with one. Despite this, they don¡¯t always check up on me.


    Once I¡¯m sure that I was out of their sight, I went to chase after the hat which caught my attention earlier. It must have belonged to a young child because it looked quite small for an adult to be wearing it.


    I barely had the opportunity to interact with children or those of my age. Due to the fear of being rude towards a noble, people rarely bring their own children for their work with us, let alone bring young children. Not just children of my age or those that were slightly older than me, it¡¯s because we¡¯re still children, it¡¯s unavoidable for us to be a bit mischievous and to have a few cute mistakes. And yet, there were almost no children around me.


    Truthfully, I also wanted to have friends. I¡¯m already 13 years old. As written in a novel that I had begged my parents to buy for me -when you reached 13, there will be more things that you can¡¯t share with your family but you can with your friends. And now, even though I have a future partner, I don¡¯t have any friends.


    Quietly, I managed to slip away.


    The only time I have ever been alone, without any of my family members and servants, was only back in the mansion. However, for that day, I wanted to do it. That is because I was sure that it was a one-time opportunity. I had thought that it would be nice to talk to someone, who for once, doesn¡¯t need to be screened through by my family.


    Hence, I sneaked out from the shop and, with my unsteady steps ¨C went after the olive-green hat wearer.


    For this jewelry shop, they don¡¯t have any ornaments avable in stock. Instead, they will keep their jewels at hand, where it is to be sent to a factory located right behind the shop for the craftsmen to polish them into the ornaments that we see in the shop. The side alley street that leads out of the shop is also leading towards the said factory. Due to the high value of the goods in the factory, there were two men standing guard. However, when I asked directly if they could let me pass through, they told me that they would turn a blind eye to it only for a moment.


    As I advanced further down the road, I saw the entrance to the factory. But, I did not enter there. That¡¯s because I saw the olive green that I¡¯m chasing slip into the path between some buildings.


    ¡°Good day to you.¡±


    The person was crouched in between the stacks of crates and barrels. The moment the person heard me, he looked up in surprise and froze momentarily. The person had a small and thin yet slightly plump body ¨C which resembled close to the body I had a few years younger when I was a child.


    The boy adjusted his hat lower than one would normally.


    ¡°Is there something you need¡­? This is not a proper ce for a nobledy toe by.¡±


    I expected that response from him. That was what people would usually say to me whenever I talk to them at ces I don¡¯t typically go to.


    ¡°Please forgive me for talking to you so abruptly. I glimpsed upon your hat at the shop. I don¡¯t know why, but I had this feeling of wanting to talk to you. If you don¡¯t mind, I would be very happy if I could have a little chat with you.¡±


    I got anxious thinking that he would refuse the idea of talking with me. At that moment, I saw him open his mouth slightly ¨C being a little surprised. After a few moments of silence passed, he readjusted the hat that he lowered earlier. There, I saw a few strands of his silver hair peeped out from his hat.


    That was how he and I met. A boy from that capital whose name I didn¡¯t know, a face I didn¡¯t know and met only once.


    ¡°Dragon?¡±


    Jasmine¡¯s curious voice brought me back to my senses. The moment I realized it, all eyes were on me for my response. The three children were staring at me with wonder, but only Kaid and Fennell didn¡¯tugh nor seemed confused. They were looking at me with painfully quiet eyes.


    I have to say something ¨C that was what I had thought. But words wouldn¡¯te out of my mouth. My feelings kept slipping down my throat and got stuck in my chest. I couldn¡¯t utter a single word.


    Therefore, I ended up saying a different thing.


    ¡°I¡¯m afraid I got it wrong. I apologize for taking up so much of your time. Kaid, I think we should head back soon. Caron would get upset if we stay out toote¡±


    ¡°If My Lady wishes so.¡±


    Since Kaid had said it that way, I could only give a wry smile.


    What do you expect me to say to him? What should I say to him? He had dutifully held onto a promise that was made 19 years ago, a promise that could never be fulfilled ever since my death fifteen years ago. Since he managed to start his own business at such a young age, he should have abandoned such worthless promises and kept them in the past ¨C leaving it to disappear on its own.


    What can I even say? To the person who, while continuing on his business with a nameless shop, managed to fulfill his promise that he had said in a child¡¯s voice that he would make something for me. Furthermore, I¡¯m no longer the daughter of the former Laius¡¯s lord that he had exchanged his promise with who didn¡¯t manage to see it through, who had got punished for her own sins. What right can I say to him? I can¡¯t apologize, repent nor praise him. I can¡¯t say anything.


    Plus, I can¡¯t tell him straight out that I¡¯m the daughter of the former Lord of Laius. No matter how sincere he may be, I cannot tell him that ¨C to the person whom I met only once. The ¡°Ornamental Flower of Laius¡± has now be the abomination of Laius. It is an existence that would be the seed that brings upon disturbances to Laius once again. It¡¯s impossible to tell such a thing to the person that I met for one time only.


    Even if it is a person who had kept a promise made to someone that you¡¯ve met only once for a very long, long time.


    I¡¯m aware that the ornamental flower of Laius can no longer be anything but a misfortune for someone else.


    ¡°Such a shame.¡±


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t get it at all.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know the answer either.¡±


    The three of them looked into the box with a dejected expression pasted on their face and, once again witnessed the wonderful blue reflected into their eyes.


    ¡°Do the both of you stop by this town once again when we¡¯re heading back?¡±


    ¡°Erm¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­ Samua, do you happen to know?¡±


    ¡°What makes you think I would know? I¡¯m new to this just like yourself! M-Master!¡±


    Being shown a flustered expression, Kaid thought for a moment and shrugged his shoulders.


    ¡°At this stage, all I can say is, it depends. Sorry.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not that big of an issue, Sir¡­ Thank you for your answer.¡±


    After a polite reply and a thank you, Namon turned around to face Jasmine and Samua.


    ¡°Even if you can¡¯t stop by on your way home. I hope you¡¯lle by some other time! You guys are so funny!¡±


    ¡°Yes! You¡¯re right! Samua is funny!!¡±


    ¡°At that time, I¡¯ll make sure to bring you some souvenirs! Also, he did mention, ¡°you guys,¡±. That includes you! And, you¡¯re quite funny yourself Namon!¡±


    Namon, who was caught in Jasmine and Samua¡¯s lively banter looked slightly surprised but smiled happily.


    ¡°Yeah! Then it¡¯s a promise! I¡¯m looking forward to the souvenirs! Next time, I¡¯ll make sure to create something that the Master will approve and put it in the shop!¡±


    ¡°Oh my. That¡¯s quite exciting! It¡¯s a promise!¡±


    ¡°All right. You have my word! Good luck.¡±


    There¡¯s nothing more dazzling than a promise to a child that was made so simply and naturally.


    I¡¯m sure that the thought of not being able to fulfill their promise never came through their mind. I wonder how great it would be to have the brightness in you with the straightforward belief in tomorrow.


    That day, I did not resist the death that I was given. I turned my back and refused to take the hand of which I knew was my salvation. I did not think that what I had done then was a mistake. My death was Laius¡¯s peace. With my death, the night that had covered Laius in darkness finally dawned.


    However, I did not ept death only for the sake of Laius¡¯s peace. I threw it away. I threw away my life, my redemption, and all the emotions that made me cry out.


    As a result, I threw away a lot of promises.


    The promise I made to Kaid for going to Korchia, the promise I made to Caron for a reunion, the promise I made to Fennell to give a name, everything. Even so, there are still people who still carried me onto their shoulders, cried for me, protected me ever so earnestly even though I threw away the promises I¡¯ve made so innocently, ignorantly, and arrogantly.


    I wanted to shout out to all the people who imed to only be able to live in the shadows and bear that thought within themselves that they should get rid of it! I wanted to scream out that they don¡¯t need to have it, that it shouldn¡¯t let it overshadow their own lives. But why won¡¯t anything throw it away?


    I couldn¡¯t figure out what Fennell was thinking as he was still staring at me.


    ¡°It was an honor to be able to witness such a prestigious product¡­ Thank you very much. I wish you all the best and a flourishing future. Please take care of yourself.¡±


    I sped my hands together and bowed my head deeply. Then, I heard him mutter above me,


    ¡°¡­You too¡­¡±


    ¡°Well then, we will excuse ourselves.¡±


    From the edge of my sight, I saw the unclosed blue promise was still glowing so beautifully.

 Chapter 36. You, Me, And The Nameless Store VI

    <h4>Chapter 36. You, Me, And The Nameless Store VI</h4>


    Truth to be told, I don¡¯t actually dislike the darkness of the night. In fact, I think I liked the sight of the flickering light slowly swallowed up into the night. Seeing the garden during nightfall made me realize that it was more silentpared to the afternoon. The night was a time where animals would quiet down as the supposedly sleeping leaves and trees would make their existence known. I can feel that the presence, sounds, and scents of the garden were more intense than it was during the day.


    If I was alone, I would be afraid to go into the dark, for the fear of what might appear within the darkness. But with someone by my side, I would be excited as if it was the beginning of an adventure. So, I enjoyed the silence of the night. It¡¯s when the same garden of the house can seem like a whole different ce.


    It was only after everything was over that I remembered that I wasn¡¯t afraid of something that would appear out of the darkness, but actually, I feared the void that would swallow mepletely. Furthermore, before this, I never felt threatened by it because I was ignorant of the reality that I deserved such an end.


    After reaching the inn, we had our meals,pleted the necessary preparation for tomorrow, and each of us had our baths.


    The trees that were lined up by the sides of the streets made a soft, subdued sound as their leaves sway and dance along with the wind. Since the rest of the area was peaceful, the rustles of the leaves could be heard from the room with an opened window.


    I used to listen to the whispers of the forest while walking with the wind and basking in the scent of the wood and leaves during the night. I found tiny white flower buds that I hadn¡¯t noticed in the day. I was so happy when I found them and excitedly told her that we shoulde by again and see them tomorrow when it was light. She couldn¡¯t help but let out an adorable chuckle. Even though I wasughed at, it wasn¡¯t an unpleasant kind ofugh at all, so I was not bothered by it andughed along. While being ted with joy, I said, ¡°It¡¯s a promise, okay?¡±


    ¡°Is there something worrying you, My Lady?¡±


    Caron had called out to me so softly, only then I realized that I¡¯ve been staring out the open window ever since I was done washing up. I frantically turned to face her. I was careless. I knew that Caron was already quite tired and she had to get ready for tomorrow. So, I should have asked her to retire earlier.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Caron. I think I¡¯m a bit tired. It¡¯s maybe because it has been a long time since I¡¯ve been outside¡­¡±


    ¡°My Lady, May I be pardoned for my rudeness?¡±


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°You looked quite disheartened. If you don¡¯t mind, you can talk to Caron here.¡±


    When I heard that she was asking me as Caron and not as the head maid of the household, I couldn¡¯t control myself but let out a smile.


    ¡°Fufu¡­ Just like back in the days,¡±


    ¡°No, no. Back then, you were the one that used to listen to me all the time, my Lady. This time, it¡¯s my turn. I want to be of help to you.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not¡­ like that. You have always made me happy. I am so lucky to have you in my life.¡±


    I think of her as my best friend. She was, is and always will be. She was the first person to show me how enjoyable life would be if you were to spend it with a friend.


    ¡°Hey, Caron. Why don¡¯t youe over and have a seat next to me?¡±


    ¡°Please keep it a secret from Jasmine and the others¡­ okay?¡±


    ¡°Fufu¡­ I¡¯m sure that Jasmine and the others have more secrets to keep from you than you do from them.¡±


    ¡°Miss¡­ You can scold me once in a while, you know?¡±


    Caron pulled the chair that was nearest to herself and sat down next to me. Regardless if she was standing or sitting, she is still a little taller than me. Somehow that fact made me slightly sad ¨C to think that I used to be taller. However, at the same time, I am so happy to see that she has lived all these times.


    ¡°I¡­was remembering a promise.¡±


    ¡°Was it the promise you made with me? I¡¯m sorry if I got it wrong¡­but, are you talking about the little white flower?¡±


    I was taken aback to hear Caron say the exact thought I had, and I could only blink in response. Then, I saw Caron¡¯s face gradually twisted into a grimace.


    ¡°Please¡­forgive me. In the end, I couldn¡¯t fulfil it despite making a promise with you, my Lady.¡±


    Caron bowed her head so low that it caught me by surprise. The promise indeed went unfulfilled. On the day of our promise, she got news from her parents that her marriage had been decided. So, Caron was forced to head back home. However, I wasn¡¯t staggered by her actions but rather¡­the regret that was showing on her face was so vivid.


    Time waits for no one. Many years had passed since we hadst exchanged the promise. I already died and was reborn. Even Caron, as she continued on living, had begun nurturing a new life and shouldn¡¯t have a moment of standstill.


    And yet, the emotions that were surfacing on Caron¡¯s face were so intense and painful. It is hard to believe that such a long time has passed.


    ¡°Caron, have you been regretting about it ever since? No, you can¡¯t do that. It¡¯s already something of the past, and just a small matter. Besides¡­ my life had ended once. If it¡¯s about unfulfilling the promise, I was the same as well. Don¡¯t look so sad, Caron¡­ for making such a promise to me.¡±


    In fact, I should be the one to be reprimanded. Despite making a promise for a reunion, I ended up giving my life away just like that. Instead, Caron looked as if she was a criminal thatmitted an offense.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you throw it away? Such a promise that would only hurt you should have been thrown away and forgotten as soon as it became a fact that it was no longer able to be fulfilled.¡±


    Cecil told me that to forget and be healed by time is one of the rights that only the living have. He is right. Only those who live on to mark their existence into time have such right.


    So, why must Kaid, Caron, and Fennell always have that kind of expression on them ¨C all the time?


    Both Wilfred and I have been cut off of our time and got twisted to defy time. However, they are different. They have lived through time, and yet, why doesn¡¯t time heal them? Even a trivial promise exchanged long ago has be a seed that consumes them slowly as time continues to flow forward.


    I waspletely ignorant of how a small promise that I had made so carelessly would turn out to be a curse that binds them for so long. It was just a harmless promise made at the moment, so why is it that it continued to haunt them for so long simply because it had not been fulfilled?


    ¡°Why is it that all of you refused to break free from the shackles of the curse that I ced on you¡­?¡±


    ¡°Miss¡­ My Lady¡­ Oh, please. Please don¡¯t wear such an expression.¡±


    Caron¡¯s hands, which are warm and slightly bigger than mine, grasped hold onto my right hand.


    Her face, her voice, her expressions, and her eyes reflected the aching feeling churning inside of her. She bit onto her lip tightly before opening her mouth lightly and muttered.


    ¡°Please¡­ Don¡¯t say that it¡¯s a curse. Please don¡¯t say such sad words¡­¡±


    I could feel that her voice was filled with pain and agony ¨C as if she could break down at any moment.


    ¡°It¡¯s precious. A precious treasure of mine. All the memories that my Lady has given me are very dear to me¡­ I¡¯m sure it¡¯s the same for Master as well. So please¡­ don¡¯t tell me to throw it away.¡±


    ¡°Caron¡­ But I don¡¯t want to see you guys looking sad¡­¡±


    ¡°Why do you utter such mncholic things? We want to grant whatever my Lady wishes us to. As it is important to us that we managed to carry it along with us. Even if we were to bear a new one with us, we will continue to hold onto it because we do not want to lose it. That is what we want. My Lady, I may not know what had happened, but you must never forget this. If we had lost the Lady that we held within ourselves, Laius would have been lost as well. We, who are part of Laius Lord¡¯s factions are all connected to you, my Lady. It is thanks to you that we were able to maintain our foothold and press through those turbulent times. Please don¡¯t take that away from us -who have clung to the memories that you have given us. If that were to happen, the Lordships of Laius will be scattered and fade out.¡±


    At that instant, I wanted to tell her that it¡¯s not true. However, I couldn¡¯t bring myself to say it. That¡¯s because Caron¡¯s eyes. Her serious and unwavering eyes were looking straight into me.


    ¡°My Lady. Your existence itself has definitely saved, not Laius but us as well. Please don¡¯t forget that. Can you¡­ promise me that?¡±


    At thosest words, I felt my hand tighten around Caron¡¯s. A warm hand that is a little bigger than mine. Her hands¡­ my precious friend¡¯s hands¡­ reminded me of my mother¡¯s.


    It was hard for me to digest and ept everything that she had expressed. Things like me saving both Laius and them ¨C that¡¯s just impossible. Even if Caron was the one who said it, it was impossible to ept. Despite this¡­


    I ced my left hand over both of Caron¡¯s hands which are holding my right hand.


    ¡°Caron, will you¡­ make a promise with me once again?¡±


    If you had known that fifteen years ago, I threw all my responsibilities andmitments behind, where I chose death as a way for me to escape. Would you say the same to me?


    I wonder how I looked right now. I saw that Caron¡¯s face was slightly contorted as if she was either about to cry or smile.


    ¡°If you are willing to let me, my Lady, I want to make a promise with you. And when that promise is fulfilled, I want to make another one, again and again, and again. It has to be you. Only the promises that I make with you, my Lady, are the ones that hold meaning to me. My Lady, please, can you make a promise with me?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll¡­promise. I promise you, Caron¡­ The truth is, it is still hard for me to swallow what you have said. I think I will still think that I would be a curse to you guys ¨C not salvation¡±


    ¡°My Lady! That¡¯s not true!¡±


    I interrupted Caron¡¯s words that she cried out painfully and continued.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Caron. I may not be able to change the way I feel about it¡­ But I¡¯ll remember what you had said. I will never forget it. Since it¡¯s the promise that belongs to both you and me. I¡¯m so happy that I was able to make a promise to you. That¡¯s the heartfelt truth. So, Caron¡­ Don¡¯t cry¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ not crying! I¡¯m the head maid!¡±


    A small tear dropped onto my hand from Caron, who was facing downwards. If she wasn¡¯t crying, then I she must be. I am the only one who knows the existence of this rain and the warmth of the raindrops.


    ¡°Caron, I like you. I really like you.¡±


    ¡°I love you too, my Lady¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so happy. I love you too, Caron. My one and only Caron¡­ I hope you¡¯ll always be my friend.¡±


    ¡°Yes. Of course¡­! I¡¯m delighted to be your friend, my Lady. Truly, I am honoured, but more than that, I¡¯m happy.¡±


    The expression that Caron had on her face as she looked up to me. It reminded me of the past as well as how Jasmine is. Sheughed and smiled at me. As expected, Caron was just so adorable.


    ¡°Me too. I¡¯m feeling overjoyed. I¡¯m happy to have been your friend, and I¡¯m also happy to still be your friend.¡±


    ¡°Yes¡­Yes, my Lady¡­!¡±


    Caron let out one deep breath before puffed out her chest to take it all back in.


    ¡°The Lady may be in romantic terms with you but please don¡¯t forget that I have received her love as well!¡±


    I titled my head in slight confusion at her sudden and bold deration. It was quite obvious that her words weren¡¯t directed to me. I quickly took a nce around the room ¨C it does seem that it was just me and Caron in the room.


    Even so, the door slowly opened. What was revealed beyond the door was Kaid with a troubled expression on his face.


    He was probably getting ready for bed since he will be quite upied tomorrow. He just finished his bath since his hair was wet. However, I¡¯m not sure if the servants had already swarmed around him to push him to go to bed or he had decided to do it himself because it will be busy tomorrow.


    Kaid stood still right in front of the opened door ¨C refused to enter the room.


    ¡°What were you doing here, Master?¡±


    ¡°No¡­Nothing. I was hoping to ask the Lady a few¡­ questions.¡±


    ¡°There was someone else with the Lady, and it was me. So you hesitated on calling out, and as a result, you ended up eavesdropping?¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡¯m sorry. But, then again, how did you know I was there?¡±


    ¡°Who did you think gave the order to get the Master in the bath? It¡¯s only befitting as a head maid to be able to have a grasp on how long it would take for the Master to be done. After all, our Master is a very handful one, one who easily neglects himself to no end.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s quite reassuring to know that the head maid of Laius is quite capable¡­¡±


    ¡°Absolutely not. I¡¯m not quite up to the standard yet.¡±


    Without wavering in the slightest from her outstretched back, Caron¡¯s voice was rxed and her eyes averted towards me.


    ¡°Then, my Lady. I shall retire for the day. Tomorrow will be your first visit to the Capital after a long time. Please get some sleep as soon as you can.¡±


    ¡°Yes. I will. You too should do the same. Thanks for today, Caron.¡±


    ¡°No¡­ It¡¯s nothing much. It¡¯s my pleasure.¡±


    Seeing her smile so softly made me feel so happy that I unconsciously lifted myself and lightly pulled her hand. I gave a quick peck on her endearing freckled cheek as her eyes widened in surprise. After two and three blinks in response, she chuckled and returned the kiss. It felt ticklish that I couldn¡¯t help but let out a giggle.


    ¡°I love you, Caron.¡±


    ¡°Me too, my Lady.¡±


    This time, we did the same thing but instead onto the other cheek.


    After exchanging our greetings with each other, Caron weed Kaid, who had yet entered the room, and stood at the same spot where Kaid was earlier.


    ¡°And now, if you¡¯ll excuse me, Master.¡±


    Kaid flinched the moment he got called out by Caron who bowed deeply. Without any concern towards Kaid¡¯s actions, Caron slowly raised her head.


    ¡°I felt very much jealous and resentful towards you for your outing about the city with the Lady. But, right now, I feel very much refreshed!¡±


    ¡°Carolina turns into quite an honest and straightforward person whenever you¡¯re involved ¨C which I would have preferred¡­¡±


    Caron, who was whistling while looking quite ecstatic with full of confidence, looked very adorable.


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