《Mad God's Love [Dark, enemies-to-lovers BL]》


 1 R

    A demon stroked girl¡¯s hair with an unbecoming gentleness and her body slumped down like an open bag of potatoes, with about as much life left in her too. All that chirpy energy snuffed out like an afterthought. That¡¯s what they did. The demons. It was beyond obvious, even if one wasn¡¯t exposed to continuous preaching about it. There was no way to miss it either ¨C figure carried massive horns on his hooded head. She was the fool to approach one. Trust him.


    I could not help but snort in my amusement. He had to have known I was already here anyway and I was not going to miss out on my last remaining laugh. There¡¯s not been many occasions for that before. Even before these creatures flooded the world. I almost want to say it was an improvement, but was too tired for spite.


    Figure didn¡¯t look up or look around. ¡°I did not expect another happy fool,¡± a scratchy boom carried well from afar. Too well. I shouldn¡¯t have heard it. Definitely didn¡¯t when the odd pair sauntered in chattering amongst themselves. It was distinctly inhuman cadence. ¡°Or are you gleeful psychopath about to offer me a job?¡±


    As I was too tired to shout, muttered to mostly to myself, ¡°Why, you short on cash or something?¡± Me too, buddy. I wouldn¡¯t be here if I had had any to spare. Who knew, money made two worlds spin.


    I probably shouldn¡¯t have been surprised, but he¡¯d heard me again. ¡°Are you really trying to bribe me?¡± all-too-low rumble made me shudder with cold.


    Was his own dumb idea, but who was I to argue with ancient evil? Patted myself over, winced and spoke out loud with actual intention to be heard, ¡°Sorry, my wallet must be in some other pants.¡± Which was true, in a sense. I was alright with my hands and my fingers would stick to things if there was a chance. ¡°Do you take cheques?¡± Or I could definitely do an IOU. Especially since I wouldn¡¯t be expected to pay anything back in my short remaining life. Hell, maybe he was even serious? I could definitely sic this preternatural evil upon a few people. Highly doubtful, as that would mean my luck wasn¡¯t completely rotten.


    ¡°I don¡¯t much care for your overvalued paper,¡± he¡¯d eventually spoken and I pinned distaste on the bland tone for my own state of mind.


    ¡°Hey they¡¯re usually like¡­ fabric or even plastic,¡± I came to an unexpected defence of our financial institution. Hell, not even I cared about this.


    But fair point. What did the horrors use as a currency? I looked at the untouched corpse at his feet. Which was weird in itself ¨C weren¡¯t the beasts supposed to devour their prey? Come to think of it, wasn¡¯t it strange to find one that was talking too?


    Instead of taking the bait as a normal human being - which of course he wasn¡¯t ¨C the demon seemed to have grown tired of the exchange entirely. The deep reverberating rumble chilled me more than the stone I was lounging on as he decreed, ¡°You reek of death so you¡¯re capable of seeing to your affairs.¡±


    I shuddered for a slew of reasons. He¡¯d just leave me here. ¡°Do you uh¡­ want a soul? As a¡­ payment.¡±


    He moved for the first time since we¡¯ve spoken, just to cross arms at his chest and look extra smug with his horned head finally turning as though for my benefit. Because the gesture certainly wasn¡¯t innate to a foreign entity who moved just to get from point A to B, and to whom utter stillness appeared to be his default state of being.


    But perhaps it wasn¡¯t smugness he was attempting to convey, I realised when the creature¡¯s voice shook my organs so violently I almost retched them. I might have, if the teeth weren¡¯t clenching so hard I started tasting iron. ¡°I can just take whatever I want from you, human,¡± he decreed without leaving a single doubt.


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    My eyes watered and I swiped at a runny nose¡­ which was of course dripping red snot. Outstanding. ¡°No need to shout, my hearing isn¡¯t going just yet. Wasn¡¯t, anyway¡­¡±


    So negotiating a deal was off the table. Figures. How had I dared to expect any different for briefest of moments? At least I scored an irrelevant victory against preachers, who were obviously full of shit on the subject. If only they were here to witness me in my full glory.


    ¡°Or is that your aged ears are struggling? I knew this grandma¡­¡± my big mouth kept on slurring.


    ¡°Why are you still here, human?¡±


    I was here first, asshole. I huffed and went for easy-going instead, ¡°What, was I meant to piss myself and hightail for the hills because you¡¯re so spooky? Where do you even see those around here?¡± In all honesty I probably could have lost control of my bladder, judging by painful clench my other organs did. One point for dehydration.


    ¡°You must be one of the dopey kind. But why do you reek of so many aspects of death?¡±


    ¡°Yep, that¡¯s what they say about me, dopey and kind. Or kind of doped up? Actually, what did you just..? I think my ears are ringing a little too loud for some reason,¡± I shook my hammering head in an exaggerated grand gesture. I raised up my eyes to stare indignantly at the ancient devil to complete the pantomime but the road was empty. My mouth went slack. So he got sick of my ramblings and left.


    ¡­That¡¯s fine, I still had all the dead people to keep me company. Perhaps a beast or two will slither in later in the night. Surprising they hadn¡¯t come yet. The wait was worst part. The quiet, unchanging stillness. Just me and my thoughts.


    A giant shadow crashed in and stuck to the exposed brick wall with no sound at all. It wasn¡¯t ground floor. I hadn¡¯t screamed in surprise only because I was exhaling.


    ¡°Have a thing for dramatic entrances? I can appreciate that,¡± I nodded to relieve some of the tension. Hardly worked in the presence of low growling emitted by an overhanging beast. It was actually hard to breathe. My lizard brain was trying to claw itself out of the bone cage and leave.


    He was holding his massive body up by the tips of fingers, clunky boots also only barely touching the crumbling wall by their studs¡­ which, upon closer inspection, were actually two protruding claws? It shouldn¡¯t have been surprising sight, especially given the looming crown of bone. Yet it was. Who does that to perfectly fine shoes? Why bother with them at all? But all of him was hidden one way or the other. Hood hung down so low even he himself couldn¡¯t have seen anything through it.


    He probably hadn¡¯t. There was constant noise. Was the disturbing reverberation throughout my bones an echolocation?


    ¡°So you¡¯re not afraid of me, are you?¡± Noise screeched inside of my skull which had started to feel hollow. Contents must have all went dripping down the nose. I sniffled it in. He had to have been smugly mocking me this time.


    I waved my hand streaked with browning smudges, ¡°What, this? Your deep sex voice just given me most massive boner. Completely normal.¡± Brief brush with silence reminded me of terror of being left alone. ¡°I¡¯ve seen worse,¡± I said truthfully for once, trying to see into the dark hood.


    ¡°I can see that,¡± he agreed out of the blue. I had expected ancient horror to argue.


    ¡°Can you? See.¡±


    Beast dropped down in a calculated move, avoiding detritus and my limbs - even though the claws were startlingly close.


    ¡°I can. I don¡¯t want to.¡±


    ¡°Huh,¡± I replied dumbly and looked around. I really could have done without seeing most of the things I¡¯ve seen too. ¡°So you don¡¯t see shit.¡±


    ¡°Thankfully,¡± he mumbled in agreement and I chuckled. ¡°But I can smell blood, cum, old sweat of many people. Drugs. Mould. Metal. Rotting injuries. All manner of man-made misery.¡±


    Of course he didn¡¯t need the sight. Nose alone probably has given poor demon a sensory overload. I threw my hands behind the neck and reclined as comfortably as it was possible in this situation, masterfully containing a wince. ¡°What can I say, I know how to party.¡±


    ¡°All partied out and ready to die,¡± it was a question but he stated it matter-of-factly. The understanding was oddly comforting.


    ¡°Yea, the hangover is killing me,¡± I tried for mirth but it fell flat. Boy was I cold. Swished my hand around in circles with impatience, ¡°So if you could just wrap this up already¡­ Preferably same way you did the girl. That¡¯d be swell.¡±


    ¡°No,¡± he all but growled. I gaped, miffed. Obviously I couldn¡¯t tell ancient horror how to do his thing. Swallowed.


    ¡°Fine.¡±


    ¡°Fine what? You really should pay more attention what you¡¯re agreeing to.¡±


    I scoffed, ¡°As you¡¯ve already pointed out, my will holds no water. That was a resignation.¡±


    ¡°Perfect. A pet who already knows his place.¡±


    All my fake amusement fled the body. Chilled limbs which I already barely felt got fresh wave of coolness and it had nothing to do with the timbre of its voice for once. Cold sweat made me shudder. Breathing sped up and I felt lightheaded. I can¡¯t do this again.


    I lurched past the creature, towards the open space. I wasn¡¯t high up, I wasn¡¯t able to crawl far before ¨C but perhaps if I land just right I could snap my neck. Or bleed out - there couldn¡¯t have been all that much remaining.


    A clawed sole lightly pressed down on me and it felt like tree had fallen. ¡°Death is not an escape. I can repair the tissue. And I assure you, I can subject you to fates much worse than whatever you have been through so far. Things you¡¯ve no imagination for.¡±


    My inadequate creative juices started flowing anyway. If the flesh was his playdough, he could make me part of himself. I could be made into a sentient appendage. I could be screaming into dark void until something worse came along to change that.


    The shuddering grew worse. It can always be worse. Why do I always linger and dare to hope for anything besides that?

 2 R

    I woke up with a distinct sense of motion and wasn¡¯t freezing anymore. Was I in a car? The shadowy scenery was definitely passing by. The seatbelt a tad constricting. I tapped around to get better sense of surroundings. Right. This was definitely not a car. The demon was carrying me, saying nothing. I stared up at the silhouette of horns which were faithfully keeping vigil ahead and firmly ignoring me.


    Annoyance overtook me. I proceeded to play drowsy idiot - which I mostly still was ¨C and slapped the creature around some more, eventually landing my palm onto what should have been its face, wondering what the ancient horror looked like under that.


    Teeth clamped down on my knuckles and I pulled the hand back. Angry red scratches reached all the way to the fingertips and one nail could have been missing. I held back a yowl and slew of curses. The whole of it could have come off clean, had he wished so. Was it worth it? Absolutetly.


    I slammed same wounded palm back onto creature¡¯s rumbling chest, which he apparently didn¡¯t mind, and proclaimed, ¡°You spoil me, good sir! I could get used to traveling like this.¡± I got him bloody. The well-worn scraggly leather beneath my hand was rough and crusty though, so it didn¡¯t make me feel any better. It had to be just a drop in sea of what already was caked in on it.


    ¡°We can keep your legs permanently broken to make this an ongoing arrangement,¡± after just a moment¡¯s thought he said softly, as much as that was possible for something whose entire chest was rumbling to create sound. He did not speak with his mouth.


    I made a sour face at the expense of his blindness and almost didn¡¯t say it. But ended up nodding, ¡°Mhm. Anything to avoid slogging through this landscape. Carted around like a royalty ¨C by a monster, no less. Who else on the entire planet could brag about this?¡± A lot of dead people, that¡¯s who. Hopefully I¡¯d piss him off enough to join the ranks soon.


    Creature didn¡¯t reply. Whether he was getting annoyed or hungry, there was no indication at all.


    So perhaps we both agreed to keep my lower body continuously mangled, but it wasn¡¯t getting any worse right now. I didn¡¯t even feel much pain because everything went numb from hours of being kept still. Nobody was mentioning the elegant breakdown I¡¯ve inadvertently displayed. Life was good.


    I could have asked where we were going, but didn¡¯t really want to know. Meanwhile, nothing bad ever happened in transit. Cocked my head backwards and stared at the night sky. Light pollution was much less of an issue since the grid had failed. Most cities still maintained the power with some effort, but it was costly endeavour. In any case, I was nowhere near those. Started humming while stargazing and began falling asleep again. It¡¯s probably been a while since I was carried¡­ if ever?


    ¡­ Vertigo hit me like a brick. Then again. It took me a while to catch on. The monster was jumping around. Something out there in complete blackness screeched and the steady ticking changed into a constant, reverberating growling. It echoed like there was an empty cave within him. I felt like I¡¯m hanging off a precipice. Fear rose. I wanted to get away from the monster holding me, even if it meant leaping straight into another one. The echoing was insane, impossible, nauseating.


    Something in the dark didn¡¯t get the clue and lurched at us again. The creature which carried me just leapt away again and trudged along without even tightening hold on his lovable bundle. In fact, never once has he even jostled me to rearrange as though the arms never got tired. One more reason to hate these inhuman blow-ins.


    ¡°Ha! You suck!¡± I shouted at whatever it was following in a deliberate attempt to antagonise it. Perhaps the new creature could eat this one, and save me some heartache. Even I heard it scuttle around. On many many legs. A much longer atrocity.


    Scampering thing lurched forward again, immediately to be outpaced by the one on two feet. Angry hissing came from all over the place, tippy tapping noise multiplied too ¨C even from up ahead. Shit was getting real and he was walking¡­ right at it? Could he even see where he was going, through all this noise? This was probably going there anyway, but I didn¡¯t exactly desire to be carried into some big maw.


    I turned away from the blackness back to my associate, ¡°He probably took offence to what you did to the shoes. Those aren¡¯t sandals, yo.¡±


    There was another flat pause and I was starting to get disappointed my jabs weren¡¯t landing anywhere at all. It was far harder to cope when even my out loud thoughts just bounced back to me.


    Eventually echoing growling formed into, ¡°I¡¯d grow actual eyes to see that thing wearing shoes.¡±


    The air rushed out of me in almost a laugh. Relief. But, yeah. The thought appealed to me as well. If I was going to be killed by an unspeakable abomination, I¡¯d want it to at least wear something ridiculous. Flip-flops and a hat? Make that terrifying.


    ¡°Your fashion sense is not to be lauded either,¡± I admonished. ¡°Ragged cloak? Middle Ages ended centuries ago.¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re making a comeback,¡± the reverberations told me and I frowned. And just whose fault was that?


    Without giving me chance to retort, he¡¯d slammed into something instead of leaping away like usual. Hissing was still universally present so it had to happen sooner or later. This was it, then. I put all my brainpower into imagining straw hats on them both.


    ¡°Ladies, ladies! No need to fight, there¡¯s enough of me for everyone,¡± I bravely yelped, enduring another slam, hiss, gurgling roar, crunching, slurping and something wet dribbling down onto me. It felt irritating on my skin and outright burnt the fresh scratches.


    While I wasn¡¯t concentrating, it was all over and my cabbie sprinted away from all the noise. I was still rubbing the mystery liquid off my skin onto both mine and his clothes. Mostly his.


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    ¡°You flatter yourself. There¡¯s barely enough of you for an animal,¡± collected grumbling informed me.


    ¡°Depends on the animal,¡± I shot back. ¡°There are no bears around or anything. Rest would need a group to finish me in one sitting.¡±


    ¡°If there was, perhaps you humans wouldn¡¯t be so pathetic now.¡±


    Then we¡¯d probably be extinct, but I conceded the point in favour of a more optimistic reality, supplied by the ancient dread.


    There was more noise in the dead of night, but just one another thing dared to challenge the porter. That one was resolved much quicker and less eventfully. And I couldn¡¯t even tell how. Perhaps they¡­ talked it out? I didn¡¯t even get a chance to be a smartass.


    I passed out again out of exhaustion at sunrise. Woke up in a drizzle. My parched lips parted and I wished for a downpour. How long will this go on? This was starting to be as uncomfortable and as painful as being left back there. If I don¡¯t say anything, perhaps I could die of dehydration? Could check and see whether his claims about revival are true. But if so then I¡¯d have suffered for nothing and I¡¯m all about feeling acceptable right now.


    ¡°What do I need to do for water?¡± expecting the worst I croaked out. I could imagine what human would want, this thing though ¨C who knows? Stick my hand in his cakehole again? Because for sure it wouldn¡¯t ask for a cake.


    ¡°You need to look for it in the bag,¡± creature answered and for the first time I¡¯d noticed a strap over his shoulder.


    ¡°Oh,¡± I couldn¡¯t help but express a surprise. ¡°Can I get my other hand free?¡± I asked whilst still basking in the unprecedented generosity of my lord and master.


    ¡°Only if you stick that one inside me as well,¡± he replied flatly.


    Ah, there it was. My gut churned and lips did an unhappy thing, but I managed a somewhat civil reply, ¡°If you put it that way, how can I resist?¡±


    I didn¡¯t really need that much mobility, but how could I back out now? The hold did relax. I rested my chewed up palm on creature¡¯s chest and pulled up the other arm. Tingles paralysed my whole shoulder and for a minute or two I just writhed. The tireless monstrosity hadn¡¯t said anything, but there had to have been contempt for flesh so weak. Well fuck him, hoped his muscles cramped up from all this walking and carrying too.


    When I finally got to getting to the bag, I found that it was pink and sniggered uncontrollably. ¡°You will be stopped by a fashion police at the next intersection,¡± I announced and then my mirth fell away as I realised it must have been the girl¡¯s.


    Opened and greedily gulped down the first and only thing that caught my eye. There wasn¡¯t much, so I didn¡¯t gorge all of it at once. Sated, rummaged in the pink bag further. Some thin summer clothes, crackers, a single beat up mystery can, jelly worms ¨C which I immediately stuffed into my mouth and made unflattering sounds about. This was first food product in my mouth for at least a week.


    ¡°Alright, you can eat me now,¡± I announced after achieving complete happiness and splayed out as much as it was possible.


    ¡°Later,¡± the chest hummed. Charming.


    ¡°Want one?¡± I wiggled the wormie right in front of him.


    ¡°No,¡± I flung it into the hood right as he said it, somehow managing to forget he wasn¡¯t human. It just hit something firm and fell back onto me. Disappointing. I suppose it will take a while to relearn lifetime¡¯s worth of ingrained things.


    I stared into the shade under the cloth. It was overcast, but still day. I didn¡¯t see anything under the hanging fabric. The neck was twined in a cloth so black it looked concave. Did it go up all over the head? How did I get bitten, then?


    ¡°I will bite it off this time,¡± a growl told me as though he knew exactly what I was thinking. Could he tell where I was looking? Probably..? The breath was warm moving air and probably audible to somebody like him.


    ¡°That¡¯s fine. You will either way so let¡¯s just get it over with.¡± At least the monster had given me candy for my troubles.


    ¡°Later,¡± he reiterated.


    ¡°Ugh, don¡¯t play with your food. Hooligan!¡±


    But that only made me want to do it even more. Initially feigning a stretch, I gathered momentum for a slap straight into what would have been a shadowy cheek. Something caught my arm. I frowned at it. Then frowned some more, just with confusion. His hands were still gripping me like there was no tomorrow.


    It was the grimy coat! The leather was twining around my forearm. And I could not move it whatsoever.


    ¡°Are you revoking my spare arm privileges?¡± I asked terribly frowning. This development was very disappointing.


    No answer. No give in the hold either.


    ¡°You¡¯re being childish,¡± I accused, fully aware of being a hypocrite. But he was supposed to be an adult. However hundreds years old and all that!


    Quiet yet again. Need to change approach.


    ¡°Oh. My. God. If the clothes are part of you ¨C are you streaking?!¡± I whispered, acting all scandalised. Because thinking about it, it was actually weirder for a creature from another dimension to be wearing fancy-ass biker boots.


    ¡°The footwear is real,¡± chest had reverberated defensively ¨C because he didn¡¯t need to reply anything, and therefore it was incriminating. Or so I chose to see this.


    ¡°Wow¡­ and that doesn¡¯t make you feel¡­ even more naked?¡± I was hundred percent genuinely curious and also moments away from breaking into an actual roaring laughter. The thing from beyond had, in fact, a sense of appreciation for fashion. Because there¡¯s no way he¡¯d be bothered by stepping onto sharp glass with his poor little clawed footsies.


    ¡°The guy insisted on keeping them, so I had to take it,¡± now he was outright explaining himself and I did chortle.


    Though I don¡¯t suppose this happened in a boutique. I gave in and asked, ¡°Are you sure he meant the boots and not his legs?¡±


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter. I have both.¡±


    For once, the sheer absurdity of the event was not completely doused in cold shower of reality and the bleak company I¡¯ve been forced to keep. That could - and probably would - be me. Even if not soon then eventually. Detours could be fun!


    ¡°Hey, can we go there?¡± I pointed for a blind man like a complete idiot.


    Quiet vibration in the chest changed into louder clicks. ¡°We can,¡± he¡¯d replied without missing a beat. I waited for more but it didn¡¯t come.


    I gave in, ¡°Will we?¡±


    ¡°Probably not,¡± the frustrating monster told me but I beamed. All I heard was that it wasn¡¯t a no.


    ¡°What would it take?¡±


    ¡°A decent reason,¡± creature deep-toned.


    Just decent? Not even a good one. How generous! I concentrated on list of viable reasons for a stroll in a forest.


    ¡­ Realistically, there was none. A lot of little bullshit ones, but even I didn¡¯t feel like bothering. Drying out my parched throat further by being minor (and likely completely ignored) annoyance gave me little joy.


    My restrained arm smacked me on the side of the head. Before I could protest I heard him bellow and pick up pace, ¡°Cover your ears.¡±


    Immediately I started to protest, but got cut off by another voice. Couldn¡¯t make out what they were saying. They were calling? Looked around and into the brush, which lead further into to the woods.


    ¡°Now,¡± his piercing tone made me reach for the ears instinctively. I didn¡¯t, fully. Somebody was really calling from out there.


    ¡°Ignore,¡± the chest besides me snarled and fell completely still. There was no more reverberation, no sound. At all. The greenery was completely still, and eerily quiet - besides the voice, which was getting clearer each time.


    My heart started pumping more blood and the headache picked up again too. Something was off, despite nature looking so serene. The day had started to clear up. The sunny outcrop was completely at odds with a sense of danger pumping through my veins. I had finally done as told and attempted not to hear the voice, but it might have been too late? I heard it on the inside.


    I felt something seductive, revolting looming at the edge of my consciousness and trying to push in. Visceral fear made my heart beat so hard it was hard to breathe. But I was good at living with fear. Frankly, sinister voices in my head were least of my problems.


    Wiggled my toes to get more blood pumping through the legs. Tingling and the pain allowed me to concentrate on other things. For example, a detailed recollection of how the leg was hurt, and whether it was too late to save it. The smell of dried blood on my sleeves and people who were no longer around. The people who were but shouldn¡¯t be. I bit on my loose teeth and tasted fresh metal again. Cold anger tempered the terror.


    At some point I felt the almost inaudible growl rolling off me again. Opened eyes to find scenery had changed. It must have been safe. Wiped sweat off my forehead and kept the fingers clutching the hair. Man, everything hurt. Physically. Fished out the bottle and obliterated the remaining water. Didn¡¯t have any more energy to rip on the ancient horror, even though him getting spooked was a golden opportunity. Whatever we brushed past must have been whole new calibre of monster. Even to him.


    Looked up at the hood with its curling horns. Was this guy even something worth of awe? Some crummy human lookalike. Terrifying.


    Yanked my hand to slam it into his so-called face, but the coat tightened so hard around it the bones cracked. Best I could do was twitch my fingers and whimper. Having expended all strength, sagged against the devil¡¯s shoulder and relaxed.

 3 V

    Slam.


    I jumped awake just as the heavy wooden gate bounced off the walls and smacked back to their resting place, whilst the creature slipped past seamlessly. I heard multiple human voices shouting from all around. I didn¡¯t need to be awake for this. Closed my eyes again.


    I was deposited on something soft. Body, finally permitted to move freely, did so without asking me. Everything spasmed and tingled with sensation of daggers. I hissed and eventually managed to curl up, as much as that was possible. The broken leg professed a hard no to the affair.


    The echoing murmurs betrayed multiple presences in a great hall and it forced me to finally take a look. I was in a church. No pews or an altar, but the colourful windows and columns speckled with cherubs agreed with that assessment. The grandiose space was refurbished with couches, tables and several cupboards. The leather-draped demon looked less out of place than the plain furniture.


    Past him, several people hid behind the stone embellishments, all armed with different kinds of weapons. The guns¡­ weren¡¯t aimed, but not lax either.


    ¡°We¡­ Priest is¡­¡± one of them started stuttering louder.


    ¡°He¡¯s coming,¡± an authoritative growling cut him off and we were all back to awkward silence again. I stared at them, they mostly watched the horned monster in a cloak. My groggy head could not begin to make sense of the situation. Was I to be a ritual sacrifice? Was there to be a spiritual cleansing?


    I struggled to sit. The pain was paralysing, but I made the effort. Standing up would have made for a better picture, but this would have to do. Clenching my teeth, I reached for demon¡¯s surprisingly human hand and cleared my throat. ¡°I do,¡± I said way too loudly in a domed building and gave myself a stabbing pain in the skull.


    ¡°You do¡­ what? Oh,¡± the people began throwing stares around and shuffling from foot to foot. Demon remained unimpressed. Well, at least common mortals appreciated my effort. Found my fingers tracing patterns absently on the hand I was still holding. Man, this was so irritatingly soft! Before I could ask which hand cream he was using, the massive doors creaked open again. Someone of unimpressive stature stepped in, leaving more bystanders outside.


    ¡°How may I serve?¡± the man whispered and it carried just like sermon.


    He didn¡¯t much seem like a priest to me. More like a bulked-up battle monk, but even so the attire was wrong. Black vest, ripped up shirt and pants, heavy boots and fingerless gloves as if he was some kind of gangbanger. Upon closer inspection the lot of them looked similar. Interesting choice, as people fending for themselves outside of big cities usually opted for many-pocketed practicality of the military gear.


    Wait. Was this where the boots came from? I looked around eagerly but saw no bare feet.


    ¡°Make him well,¡± growling rumbled on throughout the tall ceiling.


    Man in a shredded fashion statement shuffled closer to have a better look at me. His expression did not inspire confidence and I would have bet he actually wanted to make case about a big city hospital. Instead, he proclaimed, ¡°Understood.¡±


    The horned creature turned and left before my brain caught up. The gate slammed with a boom again. My mouth was entirely different entity, however. ¡°Uh¡­ Was I stood up at the altar? And by the way, you guys really should have left it up. It feels like I¡¯m missing a punch line.¡±


    The biker dude at the front crossed his arms and gave me squint full of thought. I gave him a wide grin that was all teeth. Alright, most teeth. And perhaps somewhat bloody.


    ¡°Yo, what the fuck, man?¡± rabble at the back wondered. The crowd was coming in and gawking, even those from outside. I was tired.


    Gangbanger-in-chief looked at someone and indicated me with a tilt of his head. ¡°Everyone out,¡± his disinterested voice decreed and swarm started reluctantly shuffling backwards. Their noise from outside still reached me, but it was much easier to breathe the freezing air in this holy fortress.


    I reclined on the sofa like I owned the place, tossing arms out widely up on the backrest and gave pointed look to the leader priest guy, ¡°Everyone includes you, bigshot.¡±


    The man in charge looked at me as if I was nothing, utterly failing to impress me. I stared back just as blankly.


    ¡°Don¡¯t push it,¡± someone else bristled up instead.


    Perhaps I should anyway. There definitely was a small chance I could convince them of something preposterous. I was just deposited on their doorstep by their god or whatever with no clear instructions. But I was so beat up and tired. Mayhaps tomorrow.


    Conceded with a shrug as though it was worth a try. I got glared at some more. He wanted answers. Tough shit, because I just wanted a nap.


    Last of the three remaining raised a hand in a shy wave, ¡°Hi, I¡¯m Almoner¡­ You don¡¯t seem to be bleeding anymore. It would be better if we rinsed you off first. There¡¯s a tub we can heat up, if you¡¯re up for that much?¡±


    I perked up. Hot water? I¡¯d sell my soul for less! Sleep would wait, ¡°Ohh! Could you? Please!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll go get it going,¡± said the disgruntled fellow - after being meaningfully glared at - and finally made himself scarce. Whatever made him feel entitled enough to stay? High up in leadership too? Didn¡¯t seem the type.


    ¡°Thank you! So much!¡± I shouted after him wholeheartedly with full grin on my face. Warmth! This would be heaven.


    Man tasked with the chore looked back over his shoulder and returned the expression, seeming much more willing to do the task. That one can be buttered up, I noted. Most could be, with a little flattery or politeness, but it was good to remember which could and couldn¡¯t be. Some were outright repulsed permanently. I had a suspicion their sour-faced leader was so.


    Found the youth called Almoner stare at me open-mouthed. He¡¯s snapped out of it and asked, ¡°So, what¡¯s your name?¡±


    ¡°Six-pack Sam,¡± I blurted out. The guy¡¯s gaze dropped for a second and as he caught himself, grew flustered.


    ¡°A¡­ stripper name?¡± he asked indignantly and forced a roll of my eyes - says a guy with religious motif for a name. Well fine, perhaps not overly ironic then.


    ¡°You are about to ask me to undress,¡± I winked.


    ¡°Excuse me?¡±


    ¡°For medical purposes,¡± I suggested and he got even redder. How old was this wide-shouldered innocence?


    Our unwilling supervisor interrupted, ¡°Hurry up, I must know what needs done.¡±


    ¡°My leg¡¯s busted, but it¡¯s already mending and I¡¯m not resetting it.¡± It hurt like a bitch, I wasn¡¯t going to let anyone touch it ¨C ever again. ¡°Rest are just cuts and bruises.¡±


    The two looked sceptical and began giving each other meaningful eyebrows, so I had to intercede, ¡°He only told you to make sure I live, not enable me to run marathons.¡± A bit sad that, but I had put my sprinting days behind me anyhow. My current profession was harder on the knees than thievery.


    The man in charge hummed with his eyes narrowing again. If angering a demonic deity was a possibility, I¡¯d be glaring at me too. Or slapping the mysterious being for extra chaos and mayhem, either or. Although not just right now - my arm wasn¡¯t turning all the way it should have, so that must be at least fractured also. Parallel cuts on the other one looked putrid. Yeah, perhaps no slapping for a little while.


    ¡°In any case¡­ Let¡¯s go see how that water¡¯s doing,¡± shaggy-haired guy suggested and it seemed like a fair compromise for right now.


    The two assisted me with my hobbling scrunched up nosed, but with some effort we¡¯d reached the outdoors. Each hop was jostling all of the skeleton. Pain was making me bleary and I just fell into the water without paying much attention to surroundings. I could tell there was literal bonfire heating up the contraption. It worked and that was all that mattered.


    ¡°Holy shit,¡± bulky nurse exclaimed as he helped me to pull the clothes off. Yeah, I was pretty grimy, but not all of it was dirt. Was painfully clear as some of the blotches stubbornly refused to rinse away. ¡°God damn, did he do this to you?¡±


    ¡°Nah,¡± I said fighting off sleep. I¡¯m lying, I wasn¡¯t even trying. This was heaven, especially after being in the cold for weeks. I could die here and not even care. These people with their poking though¡­


    The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    ¡°You¡­ sure?¡±


    ¡°Yea.¡±


    ¡°So he¡¯d helped you?¡±


    ¡°Debatable,¡± I replied dryly. Still, the assistance has given me a chance to try and get back home again. They were the only reason I held out this long. Everyone must think me dead by now¡­ Nothing better than proving people wrong.


    ¡°Can you tell us what happened?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not confessing no sins to a demon cult!¡± I shouted lethargically.


    The dripping medic shot a glance to the side and murmured, ¡°¡­ Albeit we did end up being somewhat like a cult under heel of what appears to be a literal devil, church is merely a building with thickest walls we bunker in in an emergency.¡±


    ¡°Yea, how exactly did that happen?¡±


    ¡°Uh, long story,¡± Almoner threw another brief look towards his danger-radiating supervisor.


    ¡°Same, same,¡± I related. Curiosity seemed to abate for now, guy stuck to cleaning the wounds where I couldn¡¯t reach. Kicked the fire out after water started getting tad too warm. Priest made few relevant inquiries, and after they decided I wasn¡¯t imminently dying right this second, wandered off.


    I woke with gentle slapping on my cheek and was forced to climb out of the murky water. Got bundled into a towel and was dragged back into to the church. I don¡¯t know how I was upright at all. Bath was so relaxing the little hops should have been impossible.


    The room smelled like bleach. And that was where I happily passed out. Frankly surprised it took me this long.


    I woke to find myself in a blanket, then passed out some more in warm comfort. Next time I rose was still bleary, but no longer tired. Tried to sit, careful of my leg but didn¡¯t jostle it for once. There was a splint attached from the hip all the way below the knee. Something similar on the fractured wrist. Various bandages here and there.


    Upon seeing the bucket of water my eyes popped out and I tripped over myself trying to reach it. Then tried again, slower and finally had my fill. I¡¯d probably regret later downing it all at once but I was all about life with no regrets now.


    There was stale bread and even a dried sausage. Too bad my teeth wanted to have nothing to do with either of those. At least the stomach wasn¡¯t interested either!


    After prolonged confrontation with the food I choked it all down anyway.


    I ransacked their infirmary. Shelves had mystery bottles, and from drying leaves scattered around I presumed most of those were herbal concoctions. The medicine was a costly affair, even more so in the middle of nowhere. I should expect some animosity because of that. There was a reinforced case, which probably contained remainder of cures from the crumbling civilisation. I chose not to have a crack at it.


    Candles, flashlights. All sorts of crap. Blankets, sheets, bandages. Clamps and sharp tools, one of which I¡¯d pocketed. Figuratively, as I was yet to find anything to wear.


    Nearby was the pink bag pack, which I pointedly ignored up until this point. I sighed and pulled out the girl¡¯s summer clothes. Not the skimpiest I¡¯ve worn in my life, but that wasn¡¯t saying much. I was in no way a hiking person myself, but why would anyone pack these to a trek through a wilderness? I was beyond bemused.


    Fiddled about and unclasped the splint. Embracing the ever-familiar pain I¡¯d dressed up in a tank top and short shorts. Perhaps they were just shorts, but not on my build. I was scrawny, but still taller than the teenage girl.


    Put the cast back on and hobbled my way across the room. It was easier with furniture and walls holding me up, but still fairly difficult as there was no way I could put any weight on the damned leg. I don¡¯t remember the pain being this bad when I ran off... Looks like I made it much worse. Typical. It beat the alternative though! Will probably need to keep pushing myself getting my ass out of this suspicious place, too. Was not looking forward to that. Hopefully that¡¯s tomorrow¡¯s problem. Perhaps the million sores would dull.


    I succumbed on a bench right outdoors, sweat dripping down my nose. It was sunny and peaceful. River gurgled by at the foot of the hill, plantlife gently swayed in the wind. Fenced off garden leered at me invitingly.


    ¡°Oh. Uh¡­ You¡¯re up,¡± somebody stated the obvious.


    I turned my head from the idyllic scenery to be a smartass, but shut up immediately. On the other side were the shower stalls, saunas and what not. And the speaker stood in small scraggly towel alone, looking all delicious. I made a show of staring appreciatively.


    ¡°Uh¡­ Lemme get dressed,¡± easily reddening caretaker of mine scurried off into the buildings surrounding church. How young and innocent of him.


    When he promptly returned with others in tow and I was on the receiving end of several quirked eyebrows, it was my turn to squirm. My choice of attire left a lot to be desired.


    I shook it off. Outstretched my arms, ¡°Be welcomed on my humble bench, fellow cultists. Country bumpkins,¡± I nodded to an especially disgusted-looking fellow.


    ¡°If whoever fucked you up didn¡¯t teach you to keep ye mouth shut, I will,¡± the bumpkin threatened and took step closer, just to be stopped with small touch from their leader. ¡°Fucking fag,¡± he muttered.


    I gasped, ¡°Are you mocking our lord¡¯s and saviour¡¯s taste in fashion? How dare you!¡±


    ¡°Whacha yappin¡¯ ¡®bout?¡±


    ¡°Obviously, the pink baggie and everything inside is his. Didn¡¯t you see it slung over the monster¡¯s shoulder?¡± I insisted.


    ¡°No, I just seen you hanging off his shoulder uselessly.¡±


    ¡°Well then, consider me belonging to him too and get yo grouchy ass busy elsewhere. Chop chop,¡± I clapped and pointed away.


    The angry musclehead was both mollified and ticked off more. ¡°You motherfucker,¡± he¡¯d muttered.


    ¡°Upgraded to heterosexuality! Praised be,¡± I mocked looking straight into burning eyes. I didn¡¯t need to push it this hard, but boundaries were important to find out. He was sent off with a pointed nod from his master before a vein could burst.


    ¡°Do you want to get stabbed?¡± another onlooker wondered without particular animosity.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, you guys will keep me safe,¡± tossed them a wink and turned knowing look towards the stoic group¡¯s leader, ¡°Especially you.¡± He had no choice and it was painfully plain. I might get throttled before any of the goons get a chance, but judging by the lack of expression he didn¡¯t care about my provocations all that much.


    ¡°You go way out of your way to be insufferable, don¡¯t you?¡±


    I was about to make a statement how lovable people found me, but was cut off without going on that tangent. Priest stated calmly, ¡°He said to make you well, not keep so.¡±


    I waved it off without any worry, ¡°Pft, we all know what he really meant.¡±


    ¡°You can be made well in the wet, mouldy dungeon where we keep our dead,¡± man with dead eyes said looking straight at me and I knew that he knew ¨C somehow - but I played this game for as long as I lived and betrayed nothing.


    Also blond nurse¡¯s confused expression made me at ease.


    ¡°You dog, you¡¯re willing to share them with me? That¡¯s really considerate,¡± I beamed with my brightest smile. Because really, who keeps their dead anyway? Poor innocent healer boy was at risk of getting cramps on his face from all these expressions he was tossing around.


    Priest nodded dismissively, ¡°I can see why he liked you. But do not presume you are safe. If you do get stabbed, I am putting you down there.¡±


    Hmmm¡­ ¡°Does that mean he really can revive people?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± expressionless leader admitted firmly, examining me still with unchanging glacial stare.


    I was an unbeliever. ¡°Does he just say that or you¡¯ve seen for yourself?¡±


    He kept on staring and it was starting to disquiet even me. Silence got to blondie first, he¡¯d rubbed back of his neck and pointed to the passionless rock of a man, ¡°He dies pretty frequently¡­ in defence of the town.¡±


    Awkward. Quick, need to ruin it. ¡°No wonder you seem like a walking dead,¡± I said to the lifeless eyes and air got even thicker. ¡°¡­ Which makes my brainless ass safe?¡± I said self-depreciatingly, in attempt to gloss over it but still felt like a complete asshole. I¡¯d have much deader eyes if sweet release kept being refused. And he was doing something useful for others. ¡°Sorry.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re an idiot,¡± peanut gallery commented with clear dislike. Could not blame him.


    I swear I saw Priest¡¯s eyes slightly crinkle with amusement before going back to flat staring. Agh! So he successfully made me squirm and didn¡¯t give a fuck about this.


    Since the dead-eyed man won this round, I will need to have another go at him to establish dominance. Question was, is losing an eye really worth it?


    ¡°Well, I can¡¯t be this hot and smart. It would be unfair to you all,¡± I responded to the insult.


    ¡°Anyway, what can you do? As in skills. You¡¯ve a lot of supplies to pay for,¡± a voice in the crowd demanded.


    Oof, this would be a tough one. The skills I use to pave my way through life might not be appreciated in a small (religious?) community.


    ¡°Hey, that¡¯s a little too soon isn¡¯t it? He shouldn¡¯t be out of bed at all!¡± Almoner protested fierily.


    ¡°But he is and might as well sit on the watch.¡±


    ¡°Oh! I can do that,¡± and after the statement was met with disappointment I added, ¡°I guess I can¡­ patch up clothes?¡±


    ¡°Eh¡­ Cities hold onto their craftsmen too well,¡± the taskmaster grumbled.


    ¡°Or they just suck at navigating the great outdoors,¡± I chirped in. They gaped at me and I mumbled glumly, ¡°Can¡¯t be good at everything.¡±


    ¡°And you don¡¯t? At scavenging?¡± Ahh¡­ They wanted somebody to take on the most hazardous task. But I¡¯d need to go out to leave this place sometime, so might as well.


    ¡°This wasn¡¯t my first rodeo,¡± I confirmed, being firmly on my second big venture outside. Granted, my current predicament wasn¡¯t even caused by monsters. ¡°In any case, have you guys got any crutches in this joint? I don¡¯t think I can hobble very far like this.¡±


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t find them. I¡¯ll look around more after my watch,¡± Almoner said.


    ¡°Oh! Can I join you?¡±


    He smiled and extended an arm for me to hold onto. Gladly used the excuse to get a hold of the sturdy countryside youth and lean into him. It was almost fun walking three-legged with this good-natured guy. Would have been pure joy if I wasn¡¯t sweating from all the effort.


    Passing through more people he broke down and asked, ¡°Really though, what¡¯s with the clothes?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t approve?¡± I faked sadness with pouty lips. ¡°Should I cover up?¡±


    He covered up his face instead and began to fidget. He was genuinely young. ¡°No, I mean¡­ You have a nice body¡­ It¡¯s just¡­ Not your size?¡±


    ¡°The only other option in that room was blanket toga, and I don¡¯t think wry glances would have been any different if I wore that. Although¡­¡± My thoughts drifted into a dramatic roman-emperoresque entrance. Tomorrow? Looked around for leafy branches for a wreath.


    The young man exhaled deeply, ¡°The bag¡­ really wasn¡¯t yours?¡±


    I grinned to tease, ¡°Did I strike you as a pink purse guy?¡±


    The lips pulled on all the bruises on my face and I regretted it immediately, but Almoner returned wide smile which made it worth it. He squinted at me and looked really close, ¡°Well¡­ I can¡¯t really tell. Are you?¡±


    That was fair. I suppose I could come off all sorts of ways, especially on such brief acquaintance. Swayed my head and admitted, ¡°I could make it work. What about you, altar boy, how did you end up in leathers?¡± Gang couldn¡¯t have been his calling. The most others had distinctive vibe of being real hoodlums. This guy wouldn¡¯t rob a fly. In fact, he just got robbed and hadn¡¯t even noticed it. It was a bunch of several keys. Home and perhaps the medicine safe? I put them back.


    We arrived at a newly built brick wall and a woman waved as she passed us while leaving. He released me and went up on a patio which overlooked the perimeter outside. I struggled up holding onto the wall.


    From up here I saw dismantled houses, bricks of which were used for the project. It wouldn¡¯t stop even a determined human, but I guess that¡¯s what armed watch was for. How were they dealing with inhuman onslaught? Some of the monsters were unpredictable in their approach. Like the beckoning thing from the trek. There were beginnings of a forest in the distance and I eyed greenery suspiciously. Could that thing have followed?


    Almoner sat down, looking at the same shrubbery in the horizon and hummed, bringing my attention back to the conversation. ¡°Well¡­ The guys showed up when near everybody got taken. Either by river, or the woods. They killed the apparitions. Ended up staying. Been teaching us how to stay alive¡­ And now, if they ever decide to leave, I¡¯d go with.¡±


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t seem like anyone¡¯s going anywhere,¡± I slapped the bricks.


    ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s an okay place to coop up at.¡±


    But he hated it here. The place reminded him of all the people that no longer filled the empty places.


    ¡°Soo¡­ he was Priest even before taking up residence in the church?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, uh¡­ They¡¯ve been in contact with his guardian from way back. Mostly Priest, from what I¡¯ve gathered. Others flocked around him. Y¡¯no, the kids hanging out in graveyards at night with candles and all that stuff,¡± Almoner implored me to understand with mortification on his face. I did, and this was about to become painfully embarrassing for some of them.


    Couldn¡¯t hold in a chortle, ¡°Do you know which ones were the edgy goth kids?¡±


    Hm. Would it be embarrassing? They did turn out to be right, in some sense. It was still hard to reconcile the world as it should be to what it actually was. The shift had been gradual. In the city one could barely tell. All shortages can be easily written off to the wars we still fought amongst ourselves, somewhere not terribly far off.


    ¡°Envy¡¯s one. The guy behind Priest just then.¡±


    I racked my memories and something wasn¡¯t taking the right shape. ¡°The one with steel pipe on the belt?¡± Nod. ¡°But he¡¯s much older than your leader.¡± Priest hadn¡¯t looked that much older than me. The dead eyes did seem like they¡¯d seen everything¡­ But then again, if I didn¡¯t try so hard that¡¯s exactly the expression my face would make too.


    Shaggy haired blondie pursed his lips and considered if he¡¯d said too much or not enough. Eventually just shrugged, ¡°Well, I told you he doesn¡¯t die.¡±


    ¡°Right,¡± I said and we both sat staring into the open fields that used to be arable land. The village still worked some of it to an extent. Demons or not, people had to eat something. Meat could go only so far.


    ¡°The old folks must have loved all the devil worshipers moving in,¡± I tried for a cheerful jibe, but the kid stiffened some more.


    ¡°They were all gone by then,¡± he whispered. ¡°One by one walked into the water, only to show up next day. Just being near them, or the water made the mind cloudy, body - sicker. It was like they took part of you even if you didn¡¯t go.¡± Almoner shook his head to escape grim memory, and attempted weak smile, ¡°Sorry. I think you¡¯re right. They would have hated the Fingertips of the Devil, even if they weren¡¯t affiliated with strange things.¡±


    I cleared my throat and said with pretend cheer, ¡°That¡¯s old people for you.¡±


    There were more things I wanted to ask ¨C about location, the people, their demon - but perhaps not of him anymore. This exchange was uncovering still raw wounds on this young person, and he didn¡¯t deserve that. I took Almoner¡¯s hands and he squeezed it back. Steered the talk towards the city, the things I hated and enjoyed.

 4 C 1

    It¡¯s been over a week since I¡¯ve been dumped in this remote nook and today I¡¯ve found out there would be a supply run organised into the nearest city. This would save me a lot of walking. Hobbling, really ¨C I was much better, but still on a crutch. However, as nice and peaceful this place seemed, I was on borrowed time. I did not know when the demon would amble back in nor what his nefarious plans for me would be. I wanted nothing to do with best of anyone¡¯s unwelcome intentions - and the creature¡¯s mere presence froze blood straight in my veins.


    After observing which car they were loading with goods to trade ¨C it unsurprisingly turned out to be van - I limped in and hid under the stacks. Might have been a mistake. The produce was heavy and the road - long and bumpy.


    As they began unloading the sacks, I heard monotonous voice say, ¡°If you want to leave, leave. Nobody was stopping you.¡±


    Didn¡¯t as much as flinch. This had to be a trick. I was too far back for anyone to have seen me yet. Another heavy bag was hefted out and steps receded into distance. Voices spoke some ways away. I risked glancing out the wide open doors. There were multiple buildings outside.


    ¡°I know you¡¯re there,¡± heard Priest¡¯s dispassionate voice again, right before he showed up from behind the corner to handle another sack without as much as glancing up at me. He didn¡¯t care.


    Fine. Fuck¡¯s sake.


    I carefully climbed out and crossed my arms. Should I say anything? Or just shamble away as fast as I could whilst I could?


    Another mean looking guy from Priest¡¯s posse was supervising unloading with a rifle. City guards took no chances either. As relaxed as Priest appeared, exchange of high valued goods sported a chance to go iffy at any time. Hungry denizens, exiled bandits, militia ordered to appropriate the food for common good ¨C you name it, it¡¯s happened.


    ¡°Take care,¡± utterly disinterested man bid me farewell. I turned towards speaker and a pear flew at my chest. ¡°I¡¯ll pass the goodbye to the kid from you,¡± he added to get me moving, but making me feel like crap had the opposite effect.


    ¡°Wait,¡± I called out to him and the man stopped, staring at me with those expressionless eyes. I¡¯ve never gotten a chance to talk to this person again, but this I really burned to know, ¡°Can you die? If you wanted to.¡±


    His stare bore into my soul for subjective twenty minutes and an objective several seconds. So I suppose I had no right to ask or know. If I could I would have taken the words back. Priest¡¯s lips thinned but eventually he said, ¡°Anything can die.¡±


    ¡°Had he¡­¡± How does one ask a potential victim of unimaginable suffering if he¡¯d been through it? By now it was easy to assume words the monster had uttered weren¡¯t idle threats. Dismissed that inquiry. ¡°Will you be in trouble for letting me go?¡±


    Priest shook his head, ¡°There were no other instructions.¡±


    I exhaled pure confusion. At least it sounded like I was never in any supernatural trouble. The otherworldly thing just helped me, out of goodness of his heart. Yeah, unlikely. Great time to bolt.


    I shambled closer in while grinning to pat disgruntled person on the side and said, ¡°Well, anyway. Thank you!¡±


    I turned away to check the haul in my fist. A hardcandy and car key. This will not be of use. ¡°Hey, you,¡± I called back and when the detached man looked over his shoulder, I lobbed the key his way and hobbled off as though I stood actual chance of running away. However, odds were in my favour. Nobody wanted altercations under so many hollow eyes of riffles.


    Neither my theft nor the abduction of my very much looked for crutch went unmentioned. The immobilising splints couldn¡¯t have been cheap either, on top of the medicine. Nothing rotted off, although I was sure some wounds were well on their way there. Perhaps I could obtain some valuables and pass them along later? Clearly devil worshippers come by here to trade every now and then.


    I reached the manned gates and had to do long and tedious entry process. Since I didn¡¯t possess official papers of any kind, I rattled off information of one of my affluent clients. Not contact information, god forbid. Just something I¡¯ve glimpsed in the man¡¯s wallet unsupervised. Old databases had collapsed for the most part, electronics couldn¡¯t be spared for each little whim. Documentation was iffy at best.


    I should have just looked for holes in the decrepit buildings at the perimeter further out to avoid all this hassle, but didn¡¯t want to strain my barely able body. The process considerably shortened after I¡¯d noticed clerk eyeing the pear, which I¡¯d relinquished into the care of state.


    I wasn¡¯t entirely surprised to find myself in same city I started out at. It was the biggest hub in the region and there was definitely safety in numbers. Small towns disappeared off the map at an alarming rate, whilst big ones remained. Population in those boomed due to orders of mandatory evacuation. However, coercion ended up being unnecessary. Most people voluntarily abandoned their livelihood for shabby shelter away from the newly untamed wilderness.


    Double amount of people crammed into same or even smaller plot of land, as the lavish suburbs have suffered the fate of the surrounding villages and ended up on the other side of the fence. Buildings grew taller to accommodate everyone, not that everyone was lucky enough to get a room. There were slums, surrounding the bastion of civilisation on all sides. Nobody who had a choice wanted to be anywhere near the outer wall. In other words, home sweet home.


    It took a fair bit of effort and time to reach familiar neighbourhood. Sun was already setting and I was thirsty, hungry and exhausted. So, the usual.


    Pushed on the peeling blue door and hobbled in. The stillness told me the most others were already out working, legally or otherwise, so I turned for the stairs towards my room. Hobbling up those final steps left me quivering and completely wiped out. Knowing finish line was so close made me feel all the hurts anew and at maximum intensity. Opened my room¡¯s door to find¡­ a bare mattress. I sighed, and fell face first into it anyway. Rest now, find out later. At least it still had this much.


    The later didn¡¯t want to wait, ¡°Who keeps leaving the doors open? Were you born on the bus?¡±


    I replied without energy to move, ¡°I might have?¡± It was an ongoing joke among us, most of whom were orphans. Glad some things didn¡¯t change, even if buses were a thing of past.


    ¡°Oh. My. God. Ruby!¡± a girl shouted with all her might and I swear flakes fell off the ceiling. ¡°Ruby hurry up and get your ass in here! Now!¡±


    The happy hops soon landed on the mattress besides me and I could not contain joy, either. Sure, jostling hurt but that was some distant and irrelevant sensation. Clasped my dear friend and saw tears rolling down her face, too. Finally, I was home. Squeezed her to me tighter.


    ¡°Where have you been, we worried so much!¡± the ball of energy kept clamouring too loud.


    ¡°So much you threw out all my stuff?¡± I grouched. ¡°Rude.¡±


    Even more impudently, knife bearing man barged into the room just to stop and stand perfectly still. Right until he slumped backwards into a jamb as though legs gave up on being there and offering support.


    Amber paid no attention to the convoluted process of fainting, all her attention was concentrated on injustice I¡¯ve suffered. Her nose crinkled as she shared the gossip, ¡°That¡¯s Peach, you know how jealous of you she is.¡±


    ¡°Oh, that bitch!¡±


    ¡°I know, right!¡± Amber was as outraged as me as we delved deeper into the blather.


    Red-haired man finally regained use of his extremities and fell into a hug, too. Sans the knife, I was happy to notice.


    Redhead muttered, ¡°I have some of it, but I didn¡¯t know what was yours. We will get all the rest later.¡±


    We giggled and caught up a little more until Ruby¡¯s dimpled cheeks lost their lustre all of a sudden, leaving a screaming letter R to stand out all alone and angry. It ruined his pretty face, but that wasn¡¯t the worst of it. The meaning, the reason behind it always made me angry. About as much as he¡¯d seemed to be now. Without any trace of previous mirth and full of intent to force the answer if he had to, knife wielding man demanded, ¡°What happened?¡±


    I sighed and forced an embarrassed blush and averted the eyes, ¡°I got lost.¡±


    ¡°River,¡± Ruby insisted.


    ¡°You know the farm with all those tasty zucchini patches? Yumm. So anyway, they¡¯re reaaally overgrown this time of year. And the corn¡­¡±


    ¡°Rivis.¡±


    ¡°Drop it,¡± I said in a serious tone too. I couldn¡¯t withstand his burning insistence, not for long anyway. I hoped my best friend would read between the lines too.


    ¡°Who did this to you?¡± he asked calmly, clutching the handle of the hidden knife behind his back.


    This would not be dropped.


    He did know everything else. And I knew everything there was to know about him. The good, the bad, the ugly, the absolutely atrocious. I didn¡¯t want him to get hurt. This guy had no self-preservation. And no sense.


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    Redhead¡¯s steely eyes were unblinkingly fixed onto mine. The discomfort was caustic, even though it should be like second nature to me by now. Mostly because I knew the intensity would not diminish for days and days ¨C I¡¯ve tried vexing him with silence before. After all I¡¯ve been through this should feel more like a mother¡¯s embrace. It didn¡¯t. I was far too tired to do this dance now.


    ¡°You¡¯ve said the bald guy with rings was bad news,¡± I whispered, looking at the putrid floorboards.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t!¡± Amber¡¯s light brown eyes gaped in surprise and Ruby¡¯s turned into a scowl. He knew the man first-hand. My best friend attracted bad apples like an ever-growing pile of rot. And I knew for a fact it was on purpose. It wasn¡¯t his fault or choice, but he used it to the fullest to let the rest of us dodge that bullet whenever possible. I didn¡¯t approve.


    I rubbed my face and sighed again, ¡°I didn¡¯t ¨C but he was there¡­ And frankly I should have known it would be nothing good as soon as they said it¡¯s out of town.¡± But it was good money. Would have been. We had mouths to feed.


    The two glanced at each other and I read them like bad news in the forecast. ¡°Cherry and Lime went with some people to party out of town,¡± my plumper friend offered.


    Dread was chilling me from the inside and I started shuddering. With memories, with foreboding. I gripped Amber¡¯s hand and her nails were digging in too. They saw what that place did to me, the bruises were still green and yellow all over. We all had run-ins with bad clients. They knew I shouldn¡¯t be here, alive and telling tales, especially after so long.


    We all felt it. Our friends weren¡¯t coming back. And there was nothing we could do. Militia wouldn¡¯t leave the city to look for some dead hookers. They barely cared when one turned up in the middle of street. And it was pointless to go on our own, even if we could. Which we couldn¡¯t. I didn¡¯t even know where it was.


    I grabbed Ruby by the shoulders in my powerlessness, ¡°Why? Why would anyone go there after me?¡±


    ¡°We didn¡¯t know,¡± he muttered through his teeth and my powerlessness crystallised into something entirely different.


    ¡°Peachy didn¡¯t tell you. Of course. And why did I think to trust her. No wonder she was so quick to¡­¡± I was prattled on, frantic and enraged. Then fell quiet but my thoughts still swirled.


    Fuck!


    My desperate anger was completely dwarfed by the immeasurable fury which started brewing within Ruby, replacing all that powerlessness and despair. He looked out for all of us lost souls. He felt responsible, for whatever reason. The R on his cheek might have told everybody he was a rapist ¨C truly ironic for somebody in our profession ¨C but we¡¯d been through some shady circumstances. He¡¯d earned some kind of brand. And now there was somebody at fault.


    I knew he¡¯d kill her. And hell, I would be right there beside him.


    No no no no. I let the resentfulness grow for just few breaths more and forced myself to take a step back. Grabbed redhead by the wrist, ¡°Even if she¡¯s a stuck up bitch who didn¡¯t tell you all where I went, she couldn¡¯t have done it on purpose.¡± As therapeutic as this could have been, it was a risk.


    ¡°It happened and now two more people are as good as dead,¡± wiry redhead stated so coldly it was clear nobody would change his mind. And what he said was true. We were the only people who looked out for us, and she¡¯d stabbed our little family in the back. Even if it was due to sheer stupidity. He was making a very compelling argument for me to keep spiralling.


    ¡°Why would she do it on purpose?¡± Amber uttered and I grabbed her into my arms. She wasn¡¯t a creature capable of anger and I loved her dearly for that. It¡¯s what finally doused my embers to stillness. I shouldn¡¯t let this go too far, for her. And the other not yet ruined kids. We didn¡¯t need more misery in our lives, whatever the kind.


    Yet, the answers to her question ran through my mind uninvited. For their things, too? Covering her own ass? Absentmindedness? She knows something we don¡¯t? Has a deal with them? It just didn¡¯t matter. Neither of us grim ones addressed it.


    He must have seen the look on my face and uncharacteristically relented. Perhaps due to the actual look of my face rather than the surrender itself. ¡°I am branding her with a K,¡± redhead stated and I sighed. It was a valid compromise. Peach would be known as killer, and somebody somewhere would end up beating her to death for it. It was an imperfectly perfect solution.


    ¡°Amber, would you give us a minute?¡± I asked.


    Ruby tried to make a swift ¨C but valid ¨C escape, ¡°No, you two stay here. I need to talk to Star¡¯s girls about all of this anyway. And then go work.¡±


    I made a mean smile pinning him right to the wall, ¡°Perfect! Amber can pass the story along. You sit back down.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, leave it to me! You two need to catch up,¡± brimming with desire to be of use she¡¯d jumped up and shouted from the doorway, ¡°It¡¯s so good to have you back.¡±


    I smiled tiredly and when sound of her energetic steps disappeared, patted the spot beside me. Ruby looked at me with the weight of the world and sat down, turning his gaze away. He was tense. I knew he¡¯d lied. He knew I knew. He also didn¡¯t want to bother me with this. But I wasn¡¯t going to let him carry the burdens alone. It¡¯s not how any of this worked.


    I bumped his shoulder, familiar gesture meaning I¡¯m always there for him. With him. Whatever he¡¯d decide or needed to do. Regardless of my reservations. Whether it was wrong or right. He relaxed considerably, but one of the hands was still hidden from sight.


    Ruby¡¯s decisions have never steered us wrong. Well, okay, they have ¨C but we were alive. And through all of those we¡¯d learned not to give out cheap second chances. Scorned will always harbour ill will. Mercy only invited open wounds. So I knew he¡¯d be removing the problem with the root. I understood it. Just¡­ those decisions didn¡¯t come easy to me. And that was why he was the one who carried us forward. He kept houseful of discarded people alive and therefore deserved someone to have his back. No matter what. And I always would. Regardless of everything. Even if Amber would wonder. Even if the kids would miss their caretaker.


    Logically I knew this had to be done. Even if the snake was completely unrelated to people at the mansion now, she could still seek them out for whatever vengeful reason. Could alert them that I was back. She¡¯d need to disappear tonight. But why did I feel so shitty? I don¡¯t even like the chick¡­ but I still thought of her as family. Hell, it wasn¡¯t all bad or we wouldn¡¯t have taken her in. Kids loved her and she¡¯d braided hair for everybody. She even nursed me that one time I had fever. Why did it even turn out so sour?


    Reoriented myself, remembering what she¡¯d done to Cherry and Lime. They¡¯re probably locked up in a cage in that cold damp basement. Hurt. Maybe dead.


    ¡°You¡¯ve been at that man¡¯s mercy for a month,¡± Ruby finally spoke after a long silence of us just sitting in the dark. Our thoughts ended up in same exact place, although I knew the paths we took were different. He wasn¡¯t trying to psych himself up. He never averted gaze from the deplorable, no matter what it was. He did it so nothing would bother or surprise him. And nothing did anymore.


    I sighed and rubbed my face. ¡°He was there for only few days. But the company he keeps¡­ or, kept him was more of the same.¡±


    My friend knew first-hand - he had been badly battered in just few hours. Ruby was tense again and I forced his fists unclench to hold my hand.


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t that bad,¡± I said. ¡°Not all the time. Sometimes they¡¯d just lock us away and forget for days.¡± And that¡¯s when the bodies started to drop. Turned out, people needed water. And bandages. And clothes.


    ¡°That¡¯s not any better,¡± he¡¯d responded and I shrugged, not wanting to argue. I didn¡¯t know which way was preferable either. I hated just waiting for anything in general, but add some darkness, cold, hunger, corpses, stillness and expectations of something terrible coming ¨C and oh boy was it a treat. ¡°I should have killed him then,¡± my best friend spat out, but that man with all his jewels was bound to be missed.


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t have stopped the other assholes from enjoying their debaucheries out in the boonies. And we can¡¯t go around murdering everybody we come across,¡± I said brushing his branded cheek with fingertips. K would end up killing him, especially if we stayed near other people. And he wouldn¡¯t leave the rest to fend for themselves, nor bring them out beyond fortifications into the danger.


    ¡°That reminds me. I wasn¡¯t there for the entire time. Escaped few weeks in?¡± Told him about unlikely assistance from a monster and the village of cultists. Ruby seemed to slightly relax again, listening enraptured.


    ¡°If you¡¯ve managed to get away, perhaps we can sneak in and get the others?¡±


    I shook head sadly, ¡°It¡¯s actually well protected against the monsters. Guards, walls, ditches, guns, flamethrowers. They went all in to protect for their slice of paradise.¡±


    ¡°Then how..?¡±


    I shrugged, ¡°I talked one of the shyer guests to go out for a stroll for some fresh air and privacy.¡± He was nicer than the rest. Still young, still na?ve, genuinely believing prostitute whispering sweet nothings. I¡¯d bludgeoned him with a rock. The gullible scion did a mistake of mercy that Ruby was adamant of not committing now. There was just us or them. No room for half measures. The young dirtbag blurred the line and ended up dead.


    Lean man shook his head energetically and choked up speaking, ¡°I¡¯d never been happier for your silver tongue.¡±


    He¡¯s right, it all could have gone entirely differently. I shook off the grimness with memoirs of raunchy misadventures, ¡°Really? Not even that time¡­¡±


    He knew exactly where I was headed and shut me up effectively with a full-mouthed kiss. ¡°Not even that time,¡± he said breathily after pulling away and squeezing me so tight it hurt, but I¡¯d said nothing in protest. This felt like I was really back. At some point we fell down onto the bare bedding and just enjoyed the moment, gripping each other.


    ¡°How¡¯s our finances?¡± I inquired.


    ¡°Uh¡­ A bit wiped after getting kids all the stuff for school, but nobody¡¯s starving. Bakery lets Amber take some of the stale bread, for one.¡±


    ¡°Bless that man,¡± he had to be a little sweet on her, because even decaying food was being traded away. Didn¡¯t change the fact he¡¯d helped us out. And it permitted Amber to have a normal job. All in all, I secretly rooted for something to blossom. ¡°We¡¯ll need to¡­ I don¡¯t know, bring our meagre business his way more often?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m taking care of it.¡±


    I crooked an eyebrow at him in the dark but he knew exactly what face I was making and rolled his eyes. I didn¡¯t see it either, but felt the indignation. ¡°I¡¯m promoting the place with the clients, who do you take me for? One even promised to discuss business of supplying food items.¡±


    ¡°Ohh,¡± having witnessed a certain village doing just the supplying in question I got several ideas about the matter as well. Though they traded for gasoline and ammo rather than useless paper. Hm. I¡¯m sure I had to know people involved in that. None specific came to mind right at this time. File thought for another time. ¡°In any case, I might need to dip into my savings if that¡¯s okay? If there¡¯s any left. I¡¯ve certain debts to reimburse.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Fuck, take everything that¡¯s left and all I earn from now on too to return that debt. You need help with anything?¡±


    I pondered. Stealing from clinics would be hard, even if that was just authorisation stamps¡­ but I used to know a guy who could forge prescriptions. ¡°Does the pharmacy near park still have Chunky Freckles? Then I¡¯ve got it.¡± It would cost me money ¨C the actual price of the drugs, on top of the bribe then also cost of materials - and favours for time to come, but that¡¯s nothing out of ordinary. Then I¡¯d just post younger kids to wait for the van and pass everything along. Easy.


    I caught Ruby¡¯s face with both of my palms, ¡°What do you need help with?¡± His skin was wet. I rubbed man¡¯s cheeks with thumbs. He shook his head, not speaking. He hadn¡¯t cried since we were kids because tears never changed anything. I hadn¡¯t quite ever managed that level of stoicism.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡± I wanted to tell him this wouldn¡¯t ever happen again, but we both knew better. This was our fate. One just wouldn¡¯t walk back. He thought this was it and it broke the strongest person I knew. He would have been fine. But I was so glad I clawed my way out of there. It was worth it to hold on, no matter how much I desired to expire on the spot time and time again there.


    ¡°I better go,¡± he whispered. ¡°Before she finds out she¡¯d fucked up and gets skittish. You stay here and rest,¡± Ruby stopped me from getting up.


    ¡°I¡¯ll have you know I¡¯m very handy with this,¡± shook my crutch in the air like a club. It was neither heavy nor was I a brute who could wield it so. Despite his wishes and protests and attempts to stop me I got up and followed the man. It would be two of us or neither.


    ¡°You are not putting a foot outside the perimeter,¡± was his absolute demand and I relented. I¡¯d just be in the way if some animal gave chase whist we were dumping the body. Which meant the kill landed on my hands. Not necessarily a rule, but I decided so.


    I waited in a distant abandoned house near the exit we used. It was taking a while for Ruby to find the troublesome girl, so I drifted back into the good old times whilst gripping this damned brick. I never had to kill somebody I lived with for years. Girls will miss her. Ask about her. To some she was closest they had to a mother. Fuck, it¡¯s not like I wanted to do this either. I will miss her, the snake that she was. Is, for little while longer. Peach is just like a moody little sister who never quite grew out of her teenage caprices.


    When did things go this wrong?


    I heard them coming. She was talking about something giddily. Ruby¡¯s posture was tense and he seemed stern. Which wasn¡¯t unusual for him. He was a gloomy kind of guy, but some people paid to love misery. Or kick it in the teeth. Who¡¯d be smiling after that? Besides me, but I was whole other kind of beast and this isn¡¯t even an introspection about me.


    Peachy wrapped herself around his arm and practically hung off on it, not least bit suspicious of her surroundings. Why would she be? Ruby would kill to protect his own. As I watched them approach however, a realisation wriggled into my mind. She wasn¡¯t jealous of my things or the amazing personality. Cherry was mother to what could have been Ruby¡¯s child ¨C we were all dumb kids who would rather have something to eat than get condoms. So verdict on paternity was a coin toss and they weren¡¯t even a couple or anything. Moreover, that was ages ago! And little Anna was now short by one actual mom. Was this why? This?


    I lodged the stone into her skull as soon as they reached the doorway. The blank stare watched my dark silhouette and I wondered if she even knew why or who, or whether it was a peaceful passing. Ruby held the deceased woman from behind and closed her eyes carefully.


    His calloused hand brushed my cheek to reassure, but there was only frost inside me. Without saying anything as though we¡¯ve done this every single day, he hoisted the dead body over his shoulder and ran off through the window I¡¯d unbarred before. There were plenty of such unclogged passageways, if one knew where to look.


    The night was dark with but a young moon lighting the way. He would be unseen by the sentries, or if noticed nobody would bother way out here.


    Somebody started up a bonfire on the plains. Which was bad. Terribly, dreadfully ominous. Not a single human would be sitting out there after dark, camping. Not when there was perfectly fine city shouting distance away. It got worse when the fire started moving. And it was clearly something burning, for it flickered and dimmed and I even scented smoke. Smelled like burnt meat. But not one of this world. It sickened me.


    ¡°Whoah,¡± Ruby slammed right into my face from his frantic run back.


    ¡°Ow,¡± I rubbed my nose whilst splayed on the floor, momentarily forgetting about depressing reality and horrors from another world. Then I remembered and did frantic waving in that direction. ¡°Did you fucking see that?!¡± I whisper shouted.


    ¡°Sure did. So did sentries, people are about to show. Let¡¯s get moving,¡± his wiry strength shoved and rearranged the trash to mask our presence. Corpse couldn¡¯t be dumped far enough in this situation, which was even more of a reason to hurry. His bouncy impatience showed he really wanted to throw me over his shoulders and run, but it was impossible with the splint. Small miracles.


    ¡°Do not panic, we have all the time in the world. I¡¯ll let you carry me piggyback later,¡± I quipped lightly, trying to match my hobbling to the pull of his arm around me. He just hissed in response, never a fan of comedy. ¡°And this is where you say it would be cold day in hell when you¡¯d let me ride you like that,¡± I went on without missing a beat.


    He was looking around and over his shoulder, and gave no reaction to me. I rolled my eyes and kept on talking to myself, ¡°And then I¡¯d ask about other ways to ride you, we¡¯d go into nitty gritty, the pricing and book the appointment¡­¡± Silence. ¡°Oy, nothing? I¡¯m feeling a bit ignored here.¡±


    Redhead turned his dimples towards me and I broke out in a smile too. There were lights in the windows now so I saw his tiredness up close and clearly. Ruby said, ¡°I missed this so much I¡¯m never shushing you again.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m giving you three days tops,¡± which was unfair. He was so stubborn he might as well be the mule himself. But then again, I could get pretty annoying. It was a close bet. Everyone around us will be wishing me gone again for sure.

 4 C 2

    It''s been more than three days and there was no give. I''ve exhausted my best material, including old classics are we there yet and that''s an odd way to start a conversation in the middle of a discussion, striking up serious discourse when he''s on the shitter. Demanded all sorts of princely treatment ¨C and got it. I was even inconsistent!


    Today I have doodled moustache on his harsh face out of frustration and got everyone to compliment the looks. Everybody went along with it without any convincing. So I was cheating ¨C neither it was verbal abuse, nor coming from me ¨C but I was getting desperate. Call the militia on me. Pretty sure he had noticed something was off upon the first mention, but didn''t do a thing about it either. Just flashed his beautiful dimples and moved along.


    This was... so boring.


    I fell into a chair dramatically, "You all are killing me... What''s with all this coddling? Where''re all the biting words, my mental stimulation? This is a maltreatment. My fabulous brain will rot away."


    "It''s like we''d have a new kid... but from a well-off family?" a boy of around twelve, maybe fourteen said. He was as serious as Ruby sometimes. Yes, I was a terrible example for all these kids.


    "Isn''t he just the cutest," Ruby said, ruffling my black hair. It was about time to cut it, fringe started getting in the way. "Go along with it."


    "Listen to the voice of reason," I snapped with no finesse and pointed at the child, who had potential of snapping sooner than Ruby. He was called Dentist for a reason. Didn''t cause problems at home and that was all that mattered to us. Perhaps it should. But again ¨C we were no parents of the year. More like every other weekend.


    "Hmm," Ruby pretended to give it thought, circling his fake moustache with thumb and forefinger and sipped tea.


    "I surrender, please stop this," I begged. "I know this is hard on you too, just... let it all out. I need your surliness."


    Ruby shook his head, smiling with entire face, "If I knew this is what gets under your skin, I would have done this sooo long ago."


    "Youuuu fiend," I hissed.


    He was usually so much gloomier than this. It was highly unusual to see him with a twinkle in the eyes. Usually the smile didn''t pass the dimples. We lost so much in such short a time, but he was content to have ripped something back out of the life''s ruthless maw. I didn''t hate it. And it was a sentiment everyone in the house shared. It''s why they went along with my pranks, even if grunting and sighing. And I would be sure to use that to full advantage. As soon as an inspiration struck me.


    I coughed, straightened up and announced, "So it has come to this. Unfortunately for you, I am three moves ahead and already expected it. I hid your shoes."


    The boy who was more of an adult than me muttered, "He is a child."


    I saw Ruby''s eyes narrow but he huffed and waved the notion away as though I was bluffing, "They''re in the rack, saw them."


    "What you''ve seen, good sir, are the shoes that are... left," I dropped the other shoe, proverbially speaking. Ruby exhaled through the nose audibly but was still grinning. Not enough. "Come on, that was a good one!" I cracked again.


    "Are my shoes still together?" alarmed, Dentist slid off his chair and scurried into the hallway to check.


    An idea. "If you don''t get your shit together, I''ll start bullying him and neither of us wants to deal with that. Especially me. I can''t spare any more teeth, for one," I laid out new terms very seriously and poked the tongue out through the gaps.


    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    Ruby was still grinning. Even more, in fact? "I''ll protect you," he promised.


    "What about me? I was the one threatened to get bullied," scrawny kid with crinkled bushy eyebrows crabbed, clutching his only pair of footwear by his heart.


    "See, life is tough and unfair, kid. Gotto learn that some time," being a benevolent role model I proudly bestowed a life lesson onto the orphan. His lips curled into a scowl. Outstanding, he could really be my replacement Ruby! As long as the child doesn''t start throwing punches... which was a real possibility.


    "It will bother him the most if you don''t do a damnedest thing," our red haired patriarch suggested unhelpfully. Mature child glared down at me and nodded.


    "Ugh! You''re ruining everything," I muttered and regrouped immediately. "But not all is lost. We shall witness whether the pupil can match the master," I intoned deeply towards both of them and the child just left without even rolling his eyes.


    "Hey wait!" I shouted after him with a serious intonation and sullen expression popped back out. "So, how would you like to have a new friend? I swear, I''m very immature twenty something year old, we''ll get along great."


    Dentist sounded unimpressed, "That''s what a pedo would say."


    "Just look what he''s offering me! Ruby, reconsider, or you''re soon gonna be replaced," I gestured to the empty doorway with great enthusiasm.


    Nothing. All I got was a peaceful smile as he gripped that damned hot water in his both hands. He probably saw something unpleasant on my face because finally offered a lifeline and egged me on, "We''ve got a lot of obnoxiousness to make up for. At least a month''s worth. Chop chop."


    I tried to muster up enthusiasm, but my fire sizzled and extinguished again. Stood up and paced in front of perching friend. I was not above begging, but tried dressing it up in a jolly tone, "I feel like I''ve returned to a wrong house. Why''s everyone so nice to me? After a life we''ve led, that is highly unusual, yano? I feel like I''m about to die. Am I?! Do you know something I don''t? In fact, who even are you and what have you done with my best friend?! And wipe off that awful doodle, I can''t take you seriously."


    "I''ll take everything you give me with a smile and won''t ever take you for granted again," his low tone promised with conviction, eyes burning with intent and I just...


    "Ugh," corner of my lip curled in disgust. "Look, I''m turning into you now. Do something about this."


    Ruby grabbed onto my wrist and squeezed so much it hurt, trying to convey something words just could not.


    "Ugh, stop," I grouched but soon gave up struggling. All my pretend high-spirits evaporated. Wrapped my other arm around his neck. "Fuck''s sake, Rubine... Please go back to being normal. You''re my solid ground. When you''re freaking out... You''re making me very afraid. And all this indulgence... makes me feel fragile. I just can''t... feel... like I''m breaking. Not here. Don''t do this to me."


    I had to make everything a joke. But when nobody was laughing, it wasn''t a joke anymore and I had to face all of the serious things.


    "Okay," he exhaled into my neck after a while.


    I peeled him off me and saw the emeralds brim with yet unspilled emotion again. Fuck. I''d never realised how close to breaking point this man was. Always so collected, just rolling with the punches. Rolling them out, to be more precise. I''d never seen him like this. Because we''d never been forced apart like this.


    "Everything''s okay," I said. Would things ever be okay anymore? This little field trip seemed to have shattered the ruby inside of him... I''d hate to even consider how mad I would have gone if he was the one taken. I barely had the willpower to keep myself alive, much less to deal with others'' crap.


    "I''m okay," my best friend whispered back after containing maelstrom that was on the verge of breaking out. "Now, where the fuck did you put my boots?"


    Clinging to pretend-normalcy I cracked a tentative half-smile and feigned confusion.


    "I have to go pick up rest of the supplies for your new buddies," Ruby added as if it was my business, even though nobody asked him to meddle. But the man gave me an honest to god glower so I didn''t mention such irrelevant details.


    "Oh, you''d love them. They''re all scowl and murder, too."


    "Boots," he insisted single-mindedly without letting me launch a distraction.


    "Hm? Did you misplace them?" I asked in a baby talk. Before I could suffer ire, I attempted an escape veiled in an actual helpful manoeuvre, "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Let''s go look for your lost footsie covers."


    "Riverrr," he''d grabbed my retreating form and tickled. I squealed, shook, elbowed him in the face and eventually capitulated ¨C right after slamming my knee into a corner of something or another. Now I couldn''t walk on both legs.


    Alarm in his wide eyes was obvious, but we both ignored it. He went to retrieve the footwear after depositing me on the couch and I immediately limped out of the house with manic glee. Ruby would not be thrilled to find high heels there.

 5 M 1

    Life was back on track. I could almost walk without support if it was just from room to room. Perhaps the thigh wasn¡¯t hurt as badly as I thought. I even resumed working in a limited capacity. Didn¡¯t entirely need to go all out, as Ruby had completely hijacked my project of returning the favour. I left him to it, it was a losing battle to argue with the stubborn bastard.


    I lounged with the other freeloading homebodies in the downstairs den, occasionally assisting the kids with homework as the oldest and wisest in the room. Spouting nonsense about which I had little to no clue was just one of the perks of adulthood. Foolish youngsters! They¡¯d soon learn they were the only ones they could rely on.


    Dentist gave me a stink eye and called out to his peers, ¡°Can¡¯t you see he¡¯s dumb as brick?¡±


    This little shit!


    ¡°Not smart enough to help, but just enough to criticise?¡± I threw back at petulant child. He was well on his way to a wiser adulthood, and all thanks to me.


    The boy sullenly sagged into himself and piped down, looking his age for once. I sighed and rubbed my face, ¡°The wiseass is right, go get an actual adult. I¡¯m just here to look pretty.¡±


    Dentist looked at me with suspicion as though expecting to get kicked and when that didn¡¯t come, turned and thundered up the stairs to the bedrooms.


    A rowdy girl named Dancer plopped on my lap and I felt the bone shatter under her weight all over again. She haven¡¯t noticed in the slightest, hopping up and down and saying, ¡°I liked your answer better. I¡¯m telling that to the teacher.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a bit pre-emptive? We haven¡¯t heard any other alternatives yet. Perhaps you¡¯ll prefer¡­ like, the real one?¡± I ground out, shifting her onto the healthy leg.


    ¡°Nu-uh! Your answers are the best! They make everyone happy!¡±


    ¡°Well, if you keep that up, you¡¯ll end up being a comedian like me and mean people like Dentist won¡¯t like you anymore,¡± I said hearing people descending. Couldn¡¯t let the little brat get complacent.


    ¡°Then I won¡¯t like him first!¡± she threw her wild curls over the shoulder in a manner I could only applaud¡­ Perhaps I could adopt this one.


    ¡°What?!¡± the boy ran down last few steps and was frowning unpleasantly at me again. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t ever not like you!¡±


    ¡°Uhhhhh,¡± I hollered and the gang of little ones joined in.


    ¡°Children, children. What did you all need help with?¡± Amber was roused from napping, if those mattress marks was of any indication. Expression still weary after her day job, but tone - willing and enthusiastic. Perhaps this was why the shop really kept her.


    All the others must be out. Even brats knew better than disturb the rest of earners.


    Rowdy gang settled down and listened. I was so enraptured with the truth I started snoring. I knew for a fact I¡¯d slept because I woke to an empty room. There was banging and shouting somewhere close by. Groggy mind couldn¡¯t work out the details but panic roused me into full alertness. I was drenched in cold sweat and didn¡¯t know why.


    Pitched voices of girls and barking of several men out in the foyer. That voice. Voices. I knew exactly what that was about without really hearing them. They started looking for more playthings but nobody was game.


    The speech came into focus, ¡°¡­ You whores dare to blacklist us? Us?¡±


    ¡°Slandering to whole god damn city?¡±


    Amber was there, speaking soothingly. I heard the older foundlings too. Little ones knew to stay out of sight ¨C the scene wasn¡¯t entirely unusual. However, this outrage didn¡¯t feel like it would be stopped with words. There would be blood. Moreover, it sounded like since the gig was up, they¡¯d be taking someone with them regardless of willingness.


    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    My powerlessness rooted me to the ground as my family was smacked around. I was frozen to the spot, unable to take a step. What can I even do, a cripple? I was never brawler to begin with. I was a silver-tongued thief. Shall I stab them from behind? No, no... I can¡¯t even walk right now, much less sneak.


    Shaking hands unclasped the braces lest they get in the way. After all, I ran with leg busted much worse than this. The heavy objects we stashed around the house wouldn¡¯t be of use in this situation. I pulled a knife out of the cushion and held it in my sleeve.


    I strode out into the danger zone with an inviting smile, ¡°Boys, what¡¯s the ruckus about? Come on in, let¡¯s sort it out over some tea.¡±


    The scene was a complete wipe-out. Two teens lay splayed out on the floor, no visible blood. Another wept holding her face. Amber was in a chokehold and turning purple. Two more kids on the stairs, paralysed with fear but otherwise unharmed. So far so good.


    I had to stall. Maybe others will hear of the commotion and return. Maybe Ruby would make it back in time? It was three men, but they didn¡¯t grow up fighting other feral creatures for a bite to eat.


    ¡°You!¡± a bearded thug shouted. ¡°Oh man, Mister Nikolas will be absolutely delighted to see you again.¡±


    Crap. I was sort of banking on them not remembering me. What gives? You¡¯d think a self-respecting debaucherous scum wouldn¡¯t recall how an interchangeable toy looked like.


    ¡°Oh, right! You guys owe me a loooot of money, don¡¯t you? Did you come by to return your debts? You are henceforth even more welcome. Please, come in,¡± I gestured to the living room. What I¡¯d do with them there I had no idea. But I was good at improvising.


    ¡°He¡¯d been missing your smart mouth,¡± the beard informed me and I shuddered, failing to tap into years of previous experiences. ¡°If you know what I mean.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯d killed that what¡¯s his name. The mister won¡¯t even get to see him,¡± underdressed fellow spoke with a leer.


    ¡°We can keep him a secret until we leave. I think this one is bound for the long haul. Aren¡¯t you?¡± many-ringed fingers patted me on the cheek almost affectionately. I didn¡¯t flinch, but felt sick. And frozen with fear. And panicking, and words weren¡¯t coming out, not that they seemed to work here at all. Managed to force out a faint smile.


    ¡°Let¡¯s take these two and go, would be enough for now,¡± one closest to me concluded.


    Oh no no no no no¡­


    ¡°Please, why would you even need her when you¡¯ve me,¡± I did my money earning lean on the wall. They¡¯d exchanged glances. I pressed on, ¡°The woman cleans toilets for a living, for fuck¡¯s sake. Why do you think she¡¯s even here at this hour? Completely useless for the job.¡±


    I casually brushed lint off my bedraggled sleeve. Amber, puffy with tears and suffocation really didn¡¯t look overly inviting right this second. The intruders seemed to be willing to be convinced.


    ¡°What about that one?¡± An expensive-looking shoe turned over the knocked out girl and my stomach squeezed with desire to expel contents again. No no no no no no. What can I say now? Not like people like them cared about young age. In fact, they probably preferred it. Fuck!


    ¡°Hmmm,¡± sweaty piece of shit considered, kneeling down. The other lifeless figure was Dentist¡¯s. Fool child, it was ten years too early for you to pull a Ruby.


    ¡°Look, they¡¯re all crap at the job. The working girls are working,¡± I said as nonchalantly as I could and it was frankly an outstanding performance. I even stopped shuddering. Lives were on the line, and this was what I¡¯ve done best.


    ¡°Dumb bitch. Not everybody wants a man¡¯s ass,¡± man drowning in the shorts and t-shirt shouted at me with disgust and loathing. Ironic, as the sentiment never stopped him. He tossed the unconscious girl over his shoulder.


    Many-ringed fingers grabbed me by the elbow and dragged after him too.


    ¡°Wait wait wait,¡± I dug my heels in, stalling the procession further. This probably wouldn¡¯t have worked with the waterfall man, but the rings seemed to harbour delusions of amicableness and I leaned on it heavily. ¡°You all haven¡¯t paid a dime for the last time!¡±


    ¡°What the hell are you talking about?¡± the bearded guy frowned, but violence wasn¡¯t in the air anymore. Their plans were finally back on the track and situation crossed over into all too familiar territory of business transaction.


    ¡°No money - no honey!¡± I shouted indignantly and the thugs exchanged looks. It would be easier on them if the dumb whore cooperated and went willingly, after all. Sweaty guy groaned and from the stream of expletives I understood he advocated for brutality.


    Bejewelled man also groaned, but reached for his wallet, ¡°Jesus! Just give him the cash, he¡¯d done good job. And will again ¨C won¡¯t you sweet cheeks?¡± He threw a wad of money back into the hallway of terrified faces and twined an arm around my waist. ¡°I¡¯ll even let your friends hold onto it.¡±


    ¡°Sure,¡± I smiled wide. How kind. Since we both knew I wouldn¡¯t be around to spend it.


    Beard fussed within his own wads and threw some denominations as well. They started moving again and my brain was fresh out of ideas. Even bad ones. Feigning heart attack would just land me with legs dangling in the air just like the girl in front of me. I would not be able to escape again. It was time for final stand.


    Shuffled the knife down into firm stabbing grip and raised the hand to strike. Upon turning, my lame leg gave out and instead of fatal injury it just brushed through the surface. Blood was everywhere, but it was merely the skin.


    Many-ringed man screamed out in pain, but wasn¡¯t entirely unfamiliar with survival. He ripped the weapon out of my grip even before I fell, then kneed me in the head.


    ¡°You fucking slut! You tried to kill me!¡±


    Another kick into the stomach. He sounded almost hurt. Boo hoo.


    Somebody was laughing his ass off nearby - must have been salty waterfalls. ¡°Whachu expect, moron? You knew he¡¯d killed that other guy.¡±


    ¡°I guess I forgot! Public service announcement is in order,¡± I got straddled and blade flashed right in front of my eyes. I whimpered and shut them closed as though that would have helped. Knees pressed down on my arms, and jaw in a golden grip. Searing pain made me scream and I didn¡¯t immediately realise what happened ¨C only when warm liquid dripped down my ear.


    ¡°There, that should do it temporarily, you danger vixen. Don¡¯t worry, I prefer feisty ones,¡± ornate fingers slapped my face again in a playful manner and I almost passed out. There was a breeze in my mouth. He¡¯d cut my cheek open.


    ¡°What¡­¡± my dazed mind wasn¡¯t catching up quickly enough.


    He smiled cruelly, ¡°We will brand it properly later.¡± Ah. I suppose I¡¯ve gotten a letter. Looks like I wouldn¡¯t be able to stay in the city anymore anyhow.


    Angry stomping of feet thundered in. A distinct noise of a bone crack. Before I knew it, the scene around me erupted into a brawl. Weight lifted off me and dabber man joined fighting with the knife in hand too, chasing red tuft of hair around.


    He¡¯s laid out two, but the third must have remembered he wasn¡¯t a common hoodlum by then. Thug pulled out a gun. I screamed and threw my uncooperative body on the hand wielding it and then it was all quiet.


    Couldn¡¯t really tell what happened in that brief span of seconds even if my life depended on it. There was no memory of it. I just saw my best friend in a puddle of red, someone crying over him and the thugs retreating. The still unconscious girl was left behind, as one of them seemed to be too concussed to manage on his own. I struggled to get free too but for naught. He¡¯d protected her at least her, but at what cost?

 5 M 2

    The following events are gruesome and explicit. The demon who haunts watches on uncaring. Abductee saves himself the only way that he can, taking his tormentors along for the ride.


    Multiple trigger warnings ahead.


    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it


    Isolated explicit chapters, that include this excerpt:


    https://audranasa.gumroad.com/


    The story in full:


    https://www.royalroad.com/amazon/B0D5WL39BL</a>


    https://www.royalroad.com/amazon/B0CYT3Q7H7</a>

 6 R 1

    Woke up to a sensation of being in a car again. Engine was on, scenery was changing, seat leathery and I wasn¡¯t cold. Did I fall asleep on the job? Unusual. There were few clients who even wanted to look at me after the deal was concluded, much less allow a sleep over. And I wasn¡¯t one to relax around strangers like that either. There was a nice older guy who¡¯d paid me just to have someone else in the bed at night, but I did not slumber then either. Wonder what befell the man? Haven¡¯t seen him in what felt ages¡­ and then I remembered why.


    My hands clutched something that could have been a rich man¡¯s idea of a decorative blanket for how terrible it was, but shoulders felt chilled so I pulled on it until was sat in a bundle. My open eyes weren¡¯t seeing anything, even though sun was out and blasting in full force.


    Being dead sucked. And I was expecting more darkness.


    I licked dry lips and first time in ages tongue didn¡¯t snag onto all the empty spaces. Weird.


    Little by little I started poking all other hurts I thought I suffered. I could breathe. The cheek didn¡¯t have orifice. Eye - no longer swollen. Arms were no longer charred stumps¡­ but still tied together. Afterlife truly sucked.


    Why the fuck was I still with consciousness, able to think these thoughts? I just wanted peace. I wanted not to consider existence without them anymore. Cherry was there from the start, the puny ginger who shared a pitiful-looking sandwich with two boys who¡¯d been about to rob her. Lime was a reckless daredevil who¡¯d join me on stupid escapades Ruby never wanted a part of. And Ruby¡­ God.


    I buried face in my palms and tried to scrub away things I was seeing. It didn¡¯t work, never did. The nails sunk in and I dragged them down. Sensation made me shudder. Not from the pain, but sheer recollection of having scratched at warm meat very recently.


    So I wasn¡¯t dead. And that sucked even more.


    Now I wanted to scream, wail, punch walls. Powerlessness kept me still. Crying never solved anything anyway. Nobody cared. Not anymore.


    I guess I needed to bide my time ¨C as I always have - until opportunity presents itself, which it usually did. Perhaps another monster will eat this one, or me. I had to make sure to get absolutely decimated in that case, because apparently this lumbering thing wasn¡¯t lying and could in fact put dead and dying flesh back together. Nothing hurt at all. Not even the aches I carried from early childhood.


    Its motivation was laughably clear. Just like the pompous bastards at the villa, he had the power and exerted it. Saw what he liked and took it without asking. Seems like dynamics of power wasn¡¯t just a human inclination but rather a universal truth. How¡­ eye-opening. It explained how the creature found common ground with those people. They were all the same.


    Hey, perhaps it¡¯ll drop me dead just in the middle of the road one fine day like that girl? Hell, maybe today was even the day. But who was I kidding? I was never that lucky.


    Stared into the blackness of low hanging hoodie. I needed to locate the boundaries. Establish some trust I could take advantage of.


    ¡°Unhook my arms,¡± I demanded flatly, raising them in front of me. This time it carried me with one arm only, the show-off. The other one remained fixed at creature¡¯s side, not assisting with the quick gait in the slightest. Did the demon not figure out how to walk efficiently yet?


    ¡°Why bother? Just stick both of them in,¡± a growling boomed.


    ¡°That ship has sailed. No longer interested,¡± I replied frowning, having not a slightest doubt the creature would shear them off clean this time. Seemed fairly serious about that before already.


    Whether I was believed or not, the other very human arm went up and unclasped the hooks one by one. I kept raising my arms higher so the devil could reach further and they came very close to the coiling majestic crown. Just as the last clip released I took hold of a horn firmly.


    The demon stumbled. Huh, interesting.


    Ran the fingers through the tender bone, which was¡­ much more jagged than it even appeared. Grooves within furrows. I was baffled to find it soft to the touch. I gripped firmer, pulled on the faux bone and creature veered to the side. Growl threatened, but that seemed like future me¡¯s problem. I yanked to the other side and creature stumbled again as though ground stopped being firm. Very interesting.


    The free arm of the inhuman monster gripped both of my forearms and pressed lightly. An almost inaudible crack. All four bones shattered like a crispy desert, spilling strawberry jam. My grip was non-existent anymore. Fingers twitched whichever way the deformed muscles contracted them due to all the misfiring nerves. My silent whimper became a scream. God damn you, dildo of consequences¡­


    ¡°My, what big ears you have,¡± I gasped out through the physical agony, visual revulsion and the mental horror.


    Growl ticked louder, as though with irritation. I grimaced. Oh boohoo, poor him.


    The monster¡¯s iron clutch relaxed and my flesh followed his. Something moved within and new waves of pain surged as though there were several blades inside, all twisting. It all regained shape momentarily and monster¡¯s human hand slid downwards to its position of useless hanging at the side.


    I could suddenly place that disgusting crawling sensation wherever I was touched in passing. Writhing, like that awful carpet¡­ which I suppose was only obvious.


    Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    I shoved at the massive chest and struggled. The arm which held me up didn¡¯t budge. I grumbled and leaned away, using my weight to wriggle out of the grip. Dangling ridiculously I demanded freedom.


    ¡°I can walk myself!¡± I argued.


    Otherworldly creature dropped me like a sack of trash and stepped over without slowing.


    Ow. Ugh. Ow. I turned over on the stomach and groaned my displeasure for everybody to hear. Nobody cared, as usual. The demon walked on without me. Huh?


    Oh. I guess I was free to go and off myself in peace. I smirked humourlessly ¨C as though it would be that simple. Limited roaming range? And it was prime time to test the assumption. Jumped up and took two entire steps the other way. Noise disproportionate to the receding figure thundered down the valley and raised hair on my back, ¡°Did I affix your legs backwards?¡±


    I smiled but there was no enjoyment behind the expression.


    Would my knees crack, bend themselves the other way and march me back if I didn¡¯t stop? It was probably best to spread out all the blatant disobedience throughout the day. I feel it would be difficult to come back from being turned into a flesh marionette. And then I wouldn¡¯t have the ability to plunge my face into a ravenous maw.


    I was dragging my feet but somehow ended up catching up anyway.


    ¡°I¡¯m tired,¡± I complained after what must have been hours. My bare feet were cut up and I wanted to drink. And sleep. And never wake up.


    ¡°You are not,¡± low tones rolled off the monster.


    I glared and argued, ¡°Yes, I am.¡±


    ¡°No,¡± creature ticked silently and I opened my mouth to be mean when more low reverberations came, ¡°I repaired you again.¡±


    Mouth remained open. Indignation and confusion were bursting out of me but I just couldn¡¯t find right words. An appropriate what seemed to be covered. It was just as the monster had said ¨C upon introspection, I no longer felt physical exhaustion. Was refreshed, actually. Wide awake. My legs weren¡¯t hurting.


    Outstanding - I was participating in a forced, ceaseless march and hadn¡¯t even realised it. I suppose monster didn¡¯t mind carrying me, but I had to go and make things worse for myself. I mean, nothing new there.


    ¡°I¡¯m tired of walking,¡± my gaping maw eventually spat out and I turned towards a scenic looking smattering of young trees and fell flat under one. Leaves rustled in the wind and sun played on my closed lids. But all I heard were chains rattling and saw blade flashing near my eyes. My hands gripped the face, trying to protect myself from imaginary weapons. The grooves I carved out previously were mysteriously gone along with all my other minor ailments. For shame.


    I curled into the blanket that I still carried over my shoulders. Jerked, shuddering again before I even understood why. Then threw it off me whilst containing a scream within me for the thing moved. Why can¡¯t nothing be normal?


    ¡°You seem to have misplaced part of your¡­ something,¡± I forced out politely, looking for a way to laugh this off instead of screeching like a complete madman. Which I wanted to do very badly. I wanted to force alien creature to explain why there was living flap of skin on top of me, and where did he get off walking around draped in the same thing too. What the fuck was up with that writhing carpet?! Why did it undulate so repulsively and¡­


    ¡°You ripped it off me yourself,¡± creature informed me calmly and cut off the torrent of my thoughts as though with a knife.


    ¡°Oh¡­ Pardon me,¡± I stammered out. Horned (big eared?) monster stood still like a statue where I¡¯d left it.


    ¡°No worries. My body parts are your body parts.¡±


    Charming. I couldn¡¯t tell whether this was a fact or a weak attempt at a joke. It had makings of one. And he did give me brand new teeth. Or were they gently used? Who¡¯s to say? Him. But I certainly wasn¡¯t going to ask and find out.


    ¡°Hey, I¡¯m not thirsty anymore. Did you do something about that too?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°So is it like¡­ I¡¯m just not feeling thirsty anymore, or did you somehow make me drink?¡±


    ¡°I infused your bloodstream,¡± monster explained.


    ¡°Handy!¡± I spoke up with way too much enthusiasm. It was interesting information in general, but I just wasn¡¯t feeling it and tried to fake it ¡®til I made it. I wasn¡¯t hungry either and guessed something of the sort befell that front too. Did not know what kind of pre-digested meat biscuits it had put inside of me and had no desire to find out.


    ¡°Can you make me blond?¡± I asked with the energy of small child.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    I went down the list of utter nonsense just to keep talking. Extra fingers, eyes at the back of my head, gills, tail, claws in weird places. Whatever.


    I fell quiet for a moment and monster asked, ¡°Is that all?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± my eyes narrowed with suspicion.


    ¡°Is there anything else you want?¡±


    Laughter escaped, ¡°You want to make me into a literal monster?¡±


    ¡°Those are your specifications,¡± creature stated.


    ¡°No, no. It was all hypothetical. And I get it, you¡¯re so cool you can make anything happen,¡± as long as it involves copious amounts of gore. ¡°No need to prove anything to lil ol¡¯ me.¡±


    ¡°So you don¡¯t want any of that?¡± Was there a disappointment in that damned growl? Need to flex was strong in this one.


    ¡°Nnno,¡± I said and fell into disquiet. I wanted other things. To be happy. To have my family safe. To not have been so powerless. All of those things were moot now. I needed nothing. I needed to be dead. And this thing was determined to keep me around in good health for his own entertainment. Entertain yourself away, I¡¯ll make it memorable.


    ¡°What did Priest get?¡± I asked with a sugary sweet smile and knew it translated into the tone.


    ¡°Everything.¡±


    ¡°Um. Was he like¡­ a busty chick before?¡± I was confused for the guy looked completely average if not for all that facial paralysis thing he had going on.


    Tone of the growl changed into something I could call a hum. Was he thinking? ¡°He is my mouth,¡± monster eventually said.


    ¡°Are you having a stroke?¡± I asked seriously but without a trace of concern. That¡¯d be lucky, so no. It couldn¡¯t be so.


    ¡°It¡¯s what that is called. He is part of me.¡±


    ¡°A¡­ mouth part?¡±


    Monster nodded as though feeling my gape. It must have been very obvious, even to a blind man. ¡°He eats for me and therefore is able to transform his flesh whichever way to accommodate that.¡±


    ¡°So you¡¯re¡­ forcing him to¡­ what? Eat other people?¡±


    ¡°He is autonomous,¡± growl barked at me as though insulted. I held in a scoff. Of course. Spoken like a true asshole in power.


    ¡°So he eats people voluntarily, I getchu,¡± I gibed further. If the thing was losing patience, it was important enough for me to get to the bottom of ¨C broken bones or not.


    ¡°He mostly consumes my kind.¡± If you must know was heavily implied.


    ¡°You don¡¯t get along with your er¡­ species?¡± I pounced on the titbit of possibly vital information.


    There was long pause full of consideration again. Yes, you¡¯re talking to a retarded ¨C simplify it so even I could understand. I waited, making faces at the blind creature. ¡°There are no species as such,¡± it said eventually. ¡°Most can change themselves to specialise in unique survival strategies.¡±


    Fine, I guess it made sense if they all could just grow whichever way they preferred. ¡°So what you meant he eats monsters, in general?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± creature scoffed at me, holding back whatever else it would have wanted to say.


    ¡°Can he die?¡± I ventured into a very pressing matter.


    There was an expressive pause again. ¡°Everything can die.¡±


    Including this horned beast, then. But something else was implied there, for the answer wasn¡¯t just yes. ¡°But you won¡¯t let him,¡± I half stated, half asked.


    Another pause full of consideration and a flame of anger blazed up. Ground my now-healthy teeth, blood and pain free. What understated pleasure. ¡°Why?¡± I urged on the reply.


    ¡°Would you cut your finger off?¡± monster finally decided on an approach.


    ¡°You saw that I would,¡± I countered, teetering on dangerous edge.


    Monster¡¯s growl was unsettling. Thundering. ¡°There is no him. That is only my body part. His human function ceased the moment I consumed him. He has that form because it is useful to me. Whatever thought he has is only because I allow it.¡±


    I grit the teeth. ¡°I¡¯m not a mouth, am I?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± monster growled low. A scoff? Well, utter contempt to you too. Why am I here, then?


    ¡°What, I¡¯m not good enough?¡± Even I didn¡¯t know where I was going with that one. It wasn¡¯t even teasing. I was slipping somewhere dangerous and couldn¡¯t stop myself.


    ¡°I don¡¯t make lunatics I just met a part of myself. Eternity is a long time to put up with so much whining,¡± monster¡¯s reverberations definitely had distaste now.


    I cursed myself for losing my cool. How unprofessional. Shouting first thing on my mind would never be a winning strategy, mostly because that would just be wordless screaming. The last thing uttered did calm me at least. Not all was lost. I just need to be insufferable. Easy.


    I digested the discontinued conversation sentence by sentence. It made little sense without grander picture, but creature had divulged a lot.

 6 R 2

    I wondered how long of a break I would be permitted. Night fell and the monster had not moved or said anything. Time must have been a nonconcept to these immortal beings. They didn''t even get tired. Or maybe some did? But why would anyone chose to keep that trait?


    Several shapes moved along the plains, but nothing bothered us. Could not even see them well. Where was the skull-piercing voice or a many-legged horror? Hadn''t called out because I was in no particular hurry to move. And nobody was curious to check up on the booming speech, so perhaps it was safe here.


    It got quite cold in my strappy glory with all my junk hanging out. I started regretting throwing away the skin wrap which mysteriously radiated warmth all on its own... Should I go and cling to a leg or something? Still didn''t want to break status quo and prompt continuation of the march though.


    So I lay down on the grass and looked at the stars. Thickening moon reminded me of last time I''d observed it. Chest panged and I turned on my side. Laying on the cold ground outside reminded of more than just that recent night. My back sought out a source of warmth pressed to it but there was no one. I wiped at my face uselessly, but saltwater did not cease.


    The constant, but relaxed ticking had a couple of extra beats and it was immediately noticeable. I did not move, but prepared myself to act. Fucking finally. I heard nothing else, no idea where threat could be coming from. But it was coming for the passive sonar switched to an actual silent growl.


    My new master fearlessly awaited. What are the chances something scarier was coming along? Probably low. Though what did I know? Perhaps they just continued existing as a part of another creature and that''s what eternity meant over there. Damn, did that mean I''d continue existing like that too if eaten? Ugh. Belated complications. I could ask, but then I''d reveal my intentions.


    Out of nowhere the growl switched to a snarl and there were sounds of ripping and thrashing. I still didn''t hear any other presence. Nothing at all to give it away. If I hadn''t known how rigid the horned creature was, I''d think he just decided to monkey about for a bit. As it stood, this was probably a death match between a mute and blind - a prelude to a joke, one could say, and I regretted this to be a night. I would have been thrilled to see this play out.


    It wasn''t instantaneously concluded so I picked myself up and started sprinting towards the thicket some ways off. There I could maybe hide or even get eaten? I had no plans after reaching that.


    The wind on my face felt great. It''s been so long since I dashed at my full speed! These legs saved my thieving ass so many times. I was good at running. And the fool not only healed me, but also given plenty of strength for this.


    Sure, darkness made me stumble here and there but thus far I avoided pitfalls. I got an eyeful of the surroundings during the day. The path I chose was as clear as it gets.


    As I got closer to the shrubbery, urge to avoid it at all cost rose. It was so overpowering, I stopped without intending to. I couldn''t go into there. At all. Something was in the trees, I just knew it. Something so alien a mere presence of it made me want to be away. Leaves rustled even though there was no wind. As much as it seemed I was halfway to fulfilling my plan, I decided I''d die to some other less dreadful thing. Took sharp left... downhill.


    I had a sensation of going up whilst running down. The ground was lifting. Damn, falling and going splat would not serve my purpose. There needs to be nothing left. I hit something and fell down on my knees, breathing hard. Scenery had somewhat changed. There was still the brush close by, but plains now had entirely different outline. There was a house, sparse tall trees. Hallucination? Teleportation? One giant landslide? Whatever happened, lucky! Which was suspicious. But then again, I was trying to get eaten so...


    The house was abandoned, I saw broken windows as I ran past. After that there were more lone trees. I eventually exhausted my stamina. I was at an excellent condition but it still has been a while since I needed to run for a living. Probably not my best getaway.


    There were branches cracking in the distance. Even though it wasn''t close, even if I was here for this exact reason, even not knowing if it was actually dangerous... I felt spooked beyond measure.


    Mere trees looked so ominous. I began singing as I walked deeper into the darkness. And then I saw the eyes. Just briefly there and gone. My legs locked up and I didn''t want to be here anymore. I didn''t want to be eaten alive. I hated this place. I wanted to go home.


    Pushing away all the things I couldn''t attain, I walked into a branch and scratched my face. Complained loudly. Nothing came for me. Sighed nervously and kept walking. Stumbled into tall grass, another step landed me in a puddle. Found silently gurgling stream, it would appear. No mysterious water creature popped out beckoning me to drown, which was frankly disappointing. Sighed and stepped to walk in the middle of it. If I was pursued, maybe this would help me cover the tracks?


    It wasn''t deep enough to swim, nor was that something I desired to attempt in the pitch darkness. Walked myself back into the reeds on more than one occasion. Slipped. Cut myself on the rocks. Not had a great time, so to say. Nothing ate me, even though I heard movement around.


    Climbed out on a lighter stretch when it presented and curled up on the grass. Shivered from extreme cold. Didn''t feel my legs again. Damp ground wasn''t kind to a naked skin. Why must I still be so miserable? I guess I could just cut myself to bleed out and be done with. I''ll do that in the morning once I can look for some broken glass or similar around. Should have taken the jagged rocks with me.


    The ancient horror probably wasn''t coming anyway. A bit conceited of me to think it would have. But then again, some freaks had way too much free time on their hands and absolutely loved when something didn''t go to plan for once in their perfect lives. Hard to say.


    I did walk far. Had no clue as to the direction. Probably nowhere near the city. If I stumble upon a road, could maybe find some old signs with helpful arrows. Not that I had reason to ever go back there.


    Kept trying to turn my swirling thought vortex away from the great many upsetting things. And the cold helped, forcing me back into the moment. I''d pass out from exhaustion, wake up ten minutes later to shiver. Pass out again. Sun began rising but its rays weren''t warming. Eventually the temperature must have risen just enough to keep me under for several hours.


    I woke up with a pained groan. Joints were locked up. Was not having a great time. I tried to sit and must have snagged on some branches. Planted my face into the dirt. Outstanding morning. Exactly what I needed to keep desiring to stick around, world. Good job.


    To top that off, I felt unmistakable reverberation through the ground. Absolutely outstanding.


    "Baby! You''ve found me!" I exclaimed shrilly in my airheaded girlfriend tone. "I was so terrified." Winced. Was not my best attempt. Sweetness and not sarcasm, dipshit. Playing dumb hurt less than the alternatives. Put your back into it.


    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    Demon hadn''t dignified it with a reply.


    Patting my side to look for whatever that''s managed to catch on the skimpy string, found that it was actually another string. Hooks clasped together. Why was I still wearing this? Made not much of a difference nakedness wise.


    Undid the snag ¨C they were not much of a problem if it''s just an odd one and not whole row. But there was second. And the third, all in weird places. What the hell? My stiff and frozen over body certainly did not flip around so much to warrant all of this tangle. Eyes found the reason for my discomfort who stood still in the shadows, pretending it wasn''t here at all.


    I grouched out, "Oh, grow up." This tone lacked any sort of pretence. It was too early for this and I was not used to dealing with clients in the morning.


    Chewed on my lip in regret. What now? Pain, that''s what.


    "I thought you''re all for causing minor inconvenience," demon''s deep rasp rolled down the grass. Creature didn''t sound mad.


    In fact, this seemed so... "Petty too. What a charmer. You must get all the girls," I scoffed, feeling tentative relief. If the creature equated looking for me with a trivial matter, I was all for that.


    What would piss him off? Thus far, only getting handsy garnered a reaction. Which ¨C ow ¨C I was not a fan of, but was ready to suffer through to know more. What''s next on the list? The coat? But if that''s creature''s skin, irritability would be well founded. I''d punch someone too if they tried to remove mine. Perhaps I''d exhausted that branch of inquiry.


    "I get everything I want," demon assured me.


    "Wow, such sexy self-confidence. I love it," I hated it, but empty compliments went a long way. And it made my day to make fun of unsuspecting fools. Demon made an extra tick but had not commented.


    I was fresh out of things to say and the monster remained indifferent. I was starting to think we probably would spend entire day here doing nothing, just like yesterday. Which left me a lot of time to dwell. Suboptimal.


    Boy, was it cold. I was chilled straight down to my bones. I felt them clatter.


    "So, what would happen if I got eaten?"


    There was a lot of thinking silence but all the creature ended up saying was, "Depends."


    Ugh. I groaned. Of course this would be another teeth pulling session. However, demon took mercy on my frayed patience and elaborated, "If you desire specific information, be specific. To divulge even an abbreviated version would take longer than you''ve left in your lifespan."


    Huffed, considering that. I guess I did essentially ask mommy about afterlife ¨C just this time it was an ancient demon who actually had the answers. But clearly, I wasn''t keen to know individual paths of each of my subatomic particles after they get scattered away from this meat suit... Or was that a subtle threat? Like I wouldn''t live to see tomorrow. It was hard to say what went on in that hood of his... if that''s where creature''s brain was at all. And that''s where all our differences stemmed from, I suppose. The alien thing must have struggled to comprehend humans too. I decided to put effort into being more thoughtful.


    I tried to specify as requested but realised that I couldn''t. It was more or less the same phrase in different words. "If an average monster... bit my face off? Presumably with the rest of the head and or body."


    "There is no average," monster rumbled out.


    Ugh.


    Patience, patience. "What are my options?"


    "Your face will be consumed by me," demon''s reverberation had more life to it this time. Yes, yes. I was thrilled about this too.


    "And if not?"


    "Unlikely," the arrogant asshat flexed once again and I rolled my eyes. Sunnovabitch, it''s why we''re having this entire conversation. Or is he onto me and trying to annoy me into quitting? Oh no buddy, that''s not how you win this competition!


    "And if that does happen?" I insisted, secretly hoping the creature wasn''t as childish as me, for he had far more patience. Several lifespans worth.


    "That is a long list," I was informed.


    Asking for top three was probably out of question. It was unlikely anybody done polls for monsters'' daily gossip magazines. "Start listing," I narrowed my eyes, looking forward to my next pitfall.


    "Some just need the minerals and would leave rest of your organic matter in a formless puddle. Others are after entire thing, which they''d use indiscriminately to grow. Certain types just absorb the muscle. Or sinew. Or nerve. Or just brain structure. There are kinds that just take over the body and other humans can''t tell the difference. Leeches..."


    Yes, we all know about those now, don''t we? I glared and cut him off, "So when you eat me I''ll become that sort of puppet?"


    "No," monster informed me very informatively and I grit my teeth. Patience, patience. Did I really want to know details of that anyway? The bits that I was aware of already weren''t promising.


    Since being subtle wasn''t really going to work here, I just flashed the monster my entire hand, "So, how do I tell apart the things which would decimate chances of my consciousness''s continued existence in a nightmarish horror beyond my comprehension after the body''s tragically untimely death?"


    "You cannot."


    I rolled my eyes and wanted to accuse the crafty creature of lying, but sighed and in my infinite forbearance looked back onto the facts. If the monsters changed on a whim, perhaps it was impossible to know.


    "Can you tell?"


    "Most of the time."


    "Ohhh, you''ve been wrong before?" I took a stab at that infinite pride the devil seemed to be sporting.


    "Naturally," he''d responded without missing a beat and providing me with no ammo. How dull.


    I guess that leaves burning myself alive, then. In my deep musings I found myself looking at the ceaselessly burbling stream. Still couldn''t feet my feet.


    "How did you even find me? I even walked through the damn water."


    "Was that supposed to mask you somehow?" monster thrummed in a rush as though amused. This grand getaway affair must have looked so pitiful to him that he wasn''t even mad. Which stung more than caused despair at this time. "Water spread your smell all over the area. Your feet were cut up too."


    Yeah, definitely stinging. Guess the next time I''ll know!


    Though I was starting to suspect I was in a pit too deep to climb out of. The arrogant monster certainly thought so ¨C there was no other reason to give me all the answers otherwise. I couldn''t even call him stingy with those anymore. I just needed to ask right.


    "How come sometimes there''s... this dread? Even if I can''t see the monster. But... not always? And other times they''re perfectly terrifying, but not... in that way."


    Demon seemed to know what I meant to say, even if I didn''t, "We do not belong here. You know it, even if you don''t understand it. The grander the discrepancy, the worse your aversion gets."


    If merely standing next to a shard of that mirror does this, what would stepping onto the other side do? There go my plans for inter-dimensional travelling! Well, I suppose not my plans, but some organisations still tried to cross over... and invade them back? I didn''t know what the goal there was. I''m sure they haven''t thought that far either, as is often the case. After all, we had our hands pretty full here in mortal plane.


    Jokes aside, that was just one more reason in long line of justifications to stay far away from all this wriggling alien mess.


    I narrowed my eyes at suspiciously two-legged and two-handed specimen to wonder, "Is that why you''re human-shaped? To be all logical and cuddly? Just for us? You shouldn''t have." I made fun of it and even splashed with bitterness, but even I knew there were far worse silhouettes I could be hounded by. If this was an overgrown rat with multiple mouths I probably wouldn''t be just sitting here, chatting.


    "Yes," the monster said and I huffed indignantly at his lack of embarrassment. Have some shame, dammit!


    "Well, it''s not working. I don''t feel the cuddliness. Must be the horns," I shook my head, criticizing the choices of fashion again. Demon didn''t care. I pushed on, "Does that mean you''re terrified of us? Being entirely in an alien, incomprehensible world."


    "No. Mouths bypass that," he rumbled pointedly and I was delighted to find out they had a less creepy function.


    "Ohh. So, they acclimatise you?"


    "In a way," the air reverberated quietly.


    Some unpleasant emotion tickled me and angry irritation broke out, "So... But... Why is it only humans?" I''ve had little basis for that accusation, but seeing Priest was enough information for my indignant self. "Can''t you possess a bear or something?" I suppose I was being hypocritical again, throwing poor animals under the bus rather than no-good assholes who most likely deserved it anyway. People were trash. But as trashy as I was, I still did not desire spending rest of my (his?) life reflecting upon the fact.


    "It obviously isn''t just your people. If you''ve assumed so, that''s a fallacy on your end."


    Low growl kept rolling off, "Original form means little to me. There''s just so many of you," hungry child drooling at the buffet said. The tone was frankly disgusting.


    So it was as simple as convenience. There had been billions of us. Truly a brimming factory farm, ripe for the reaping. But something wasn''t adding up. This creature was old, that much was clear. It literally scoffed at my remaining years.

 6 R 3

    "If you''ve been coming and going since the dawn of time, how come we got overrun only now?"


    "Isn''t it obvious?" monster drawled out.


    "No?"


    "You did this to yourselves. I don''t know how. But now there is a hole between worlds and everyone else poured through."


    "Alright. I suppose it was obvious." I agreed for it did make awful lot of sense. If it wasn''t one thing, would have been another. At least this way we got to experience new tourist destinations. And perhaps even immortality, which I suspected a lot of people would line up for.


    Monster''s calm ticking changed into a hum, like if he was a human he''d have more to say. Partial imitation of the gesture, I suppose. "Spit it out," I urged.


    "No fiery disputes?"


    "I live to surprise," I shrugged with full length of my arms, but didn''t really feel like playing the part of flamboyant ballerina. Flattering that the demon thought I could launch a reasonable debate against him, though.


    Rubbed my icy fingers together. The talk was taking my mind off the unwanted things, but not the screaming discomfort. Walking would get my blood moving, but we were probably headed to the church town. I didn''t want to get anywhere, see anyone. Including this lumbering oaf, but that was inescapable at this time.


    What would be the chances of successfully ripping that skin coat of his off again? Worked out fine when I was barely coherent.


    ... Assault was never my thing. And to begin with, monster was unbelievably cooperative. I sauntered closer, leaned in to touch the chest and put my best seductive tone to use, "Say, what''s underneath?"


    There was a seam, and hints of neckline. It was definitely removable. The blanket flap had been somehow detached too.


    Monster wasn''t charmed or even flustered. Was not replying either. Okay, so it was a bit conceited of me to think I could temp a demon into sin of one kind or another. Nonetheless, disappointing.


    "Organs," his body murmured eventually. Well, duh.


    "No, I mean... under the cloak?"


    There was another massive pause, but I learned to give this alien doofus a minute to mull things over. Seriously, what was so complicated here? Was he being shy? Oh my.


    "Do you want to see?" monster asked quietly again and I jumped for joy.


    "Yes!"


    And then something unexpected happened.


    "Oh," I''ve said, stepping away. We''ve been talking about entirely different things. And turns out the lengthy deliberation was well placed.


    There indeed were organs, although I could not quite place them. I turned my head sideways but it didn''t make any further sense from that angle either. It was like scattered puzzle, hastily stuffed back into the box and some of it possibly missing.


    A bit of the mass sloshed and dribbled out on the grass. A series of cracks made me raise the eyes again. The fleshy mass twisted and crunched again. It was frankly disgusting and my own stomach started following that same flailing dance. But I could not look away.


    "Did you taste so rank that something chewed on you a little and spat back out?" I could not help but wonder at the gory sight. When in panic, talk a lot to cover that up.


    Couple more crunches and the insides were all gone... somewhere. Certainly nowhere in the gut cavity, nor the stomach ¨C for he didn''t have one at all. It was just empty.


    "The opposite," monster informed me after finishing chewing. All that was left were the haphazardly scattered sharp teeth all over the fleshy pink inside of his. The whole of abdomen cavity was a massive toothy maw. The sight was more than unsettling, I felt the dread. I wanted to run. Something very inhuman and loathsome was witnessed by my eyes and they burnt.


    "Momma packed you the lunch, then? It looked delish," I gaped at the lost piece on the ground and wondered if I''m strong enough to go through with rest of the nonsense that swirled on in my mind. I certainly ate worse looking things. Picked it up... and flung it into the bushes with a yelp. "Ouch! Mama likes it a bit spicy, huh?"


    Monster was growling quietly but was not saying anything still. Did not know if it was thoughtful muteness or one of abandonment. It was frankly hard to just stand here and be cornered from all sides. In thoughtful stillness, faced with an abomination, wanting to run and for everything to stop. Shuddered, looking at the still open maw. Fisted my fingers to stop them from shaking and fell forward.


    The rumbling hitched from the impact. I expected the vertical jaws to slam shut, especially on that full-body twitch, but here I still was. Pricked by the teeth I fell on top of, but still living and still breathing. The smell was... not as disgusting as I imagined. Rather like a butcher shop at the city centre. Nothing but the freshest of meats. Which made sense, I suppose.


    The maw around me started closing and I braced myself again, but there was no pain or terrible crunching. It just twined around my tensed back and arms, yanking me off my feet without effort. I was surprised the million needles didn''t rip me apart in such a snug hold. Upon retrospection, they appeared to have gone missing altogether to that mysterious place all terrible things went.


    I couldn''t hear much through the pulse pounding in my ears, but steady vibration told me I wasn''t missing anything. Cleared my throat to adjust the pitch of what would be undoubtedly shaky voice. "Well, do I taste as good as I look?" I asked knowing full well I must taste of well-worn sock by now.


    "Accurate, as I don''t have need for taste as well as the visual input."


    "Soo... you... have no taste? Yea, we''ve already established that." How bland, I thought finding myself rolling my eyes and finally relaxing.


    I was also very jealous. Most of the things I put in my mouth as a starving child and even grown adult were rancid. That also spelled out stomach pains on occasion, but since the creature could chomp on his acidic brethren like candy, that was definitely unnecessary information to him.


    Horned beast did not grace me with defence on his lack of style and I started getting uncomfortable jitters again.


    "My turn to taste you!" I proclaimed much braver than I felt, which was so well-practised it became a personality trait by now.


    I stuck out the tongue and ran it over the glistening concave surface right in front of me, which lacked all the miniscule bony protrusions. I feared the sting of the acid too, but it wasn''t there either. Which, yeah, I would have already felt on my skin.


    If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    It tasted... of nothing. Flesh was smooth in texture and there was the mucus covering it, but zest itself eluded me. Like something was definitely there, but instead it tasted of absence of flavour. Like I lacked specific buds for it. In short, it was much better than nasty.


    "You do live to surprise," creature''s upper chest reverberated and I found myself faced with the flat noise organ. So he did have some of those! What a delight. I suppressed a shudder.


    "Is it my turn to enter you unasked?" creature spoke firmly, leaving no room for backchat. I still attempted to, as the meaning dawned upon my wide-eyed person. A tendril snaked out and brushed past my lips before I could formulate single word.


    Okay, so far not as bad as I assumed. And, yes ¨C I guess that was fair. I did constantly try to stick my parts into monster''s cakeholes. Was lack of asking the issue? I wondered, as my tongue snaked around the flavourless intrusion. I really wanted to ask, but work ethic took over at this time as I was nothing but professional. No talking with mouth full and all that.


    The tapering feeler twirled and slipped past the tongue, into the throat. I tensed, but gag reflex was a thing of very distant past. It was going far further than usual, so it was hard to cling to any kind of normalcy. I hung suspended in a monster''s mouth, tongue of whom I felt somewhere in my chest. It was so far out of my abundant atypical experiences, I did not know what to think or feel. My mind was blissfully empty for once.


    I hadn''t noticed how or when it was even over. I just liked my lips and realised absence of foreign objects.


    "Do you feel pleasure?" I wondered out loud.


    "If I want to," he''d replied.


    "Do you want to?" was my only obvious inquiry.


    I felt monster''s grip around me relax and I was deposited back onto the firm ground again. "Later," I was told as monster stepped away to zip his flesh back up and I shuddered again. It was both from cold morning air, and the recollection he''d said exact same thing about consuming me. Figures ¨C to a monster that must have held entirely different meaning. And to begin with, what was my addled mind even suggesting there?


    Thoroughly freaked out but still blissfully absentminded, I just picked a sunniest direction and walked off. It wasn''t contributing towards getting any warmer after the night''s damp chill and I eventually broke out of my stupor.


    "Carry me!" I demanded with my arms raised towards hulking figure as I''d seen other, happier kids do at the market.


    "No," monster shot it down immediately. I sighed, not in the least bit surprised. Life was never kind to my whims, no matter how small they were.


    "What, why?" I grumbled stubbornly with fake surprise.


    "I can walk myself," monster replicated my voice perfectly without a trace of growling or ticking. It probably was what I''d said before. Ancient beast was being so petty.


    "I''m sorry, baby, that was so rude of me. I take it back," I hung off his arms and tried buttering him up with sweet-talk. No reaction.


    "If you carry me..." I concentrated my entire brainpower on this. He could eat me anytime anyway, and didn''t lack anything else in general. He''d been taking care of himself for literal ever. So I had nothing to offer. On the other hand... there had to be a reason I was still alive and permitted to run my loud mouth. I banked everything on curiosity. "I''ll answer a question!"


    There was no reaction for long-ass time again and I''d given up on the venture. I was thinking to suggest doing a request, then disregarding it completely if I got slapped with something like a don''t run away again. The human hand I was still clutching on untangled itself and swept around me.


    "Weeeeee!" I squealed pretending glee as I was raised up, arms up in the air and legs dangling. Perhaps if I faked hard enough... it hadn''t worked even once thus far, I reflected sourly. Forced my lips to stay curled up as reality tried to force itself back in once again. No thinking about dead friends, bad brain! Concentrate on romantic getaway in countryside with a literal monster.


    Wondered what would be the big question. Something he thought he couldn''t just ask? Ominous. Especially after he''d just answered everything my flippant mind landed on. Of course, perhaps the timeless creature just wasn''t na?ve and bided its time to increase chances of an answer. Because even now, in all likelihood I''d still spout bullshit. Was this a test of character, then? To ask something obvious and see if I''d lie. Ugh, the mind games!


    "Why do you force yourself to do the opposite of what your instincts demand?"


    Ugh. Tough, tedious question. I swung my dangling legs and stared at the sky. The direction we walked in seems to have changed, I noted absentminded. I guessed he meant sticking my hands into his maw and the like.


    "Why indeed," I muttered but what other choice did I really have? Doing the opposite of expected either amused the threat and they''d let me off, or surprised enough to give me a chance to escape.


    "Suicidal and I''ve nothing to lose?" I eventually offered blatant and obvious answer.


    "Incorrect. You''ve got teeth," monster informed me chillingly as though he''d extracted one or two back in the day. Subtle threat? No, not very subtle. I did not want to dwell or reflect on any of this. Buried my face within the palms, but that changed nothing. A scream was welling up inside, which would also be heard by nobody and only fuel fervour of my tormentors. Did this particular monster deserve the truth? The key to my inner workings?


    "You think you can force me to do what you like with a little pain?" I scoffed and held back a flinch to this game-ending bluff. I was very malleable. It didn''t take much to get me to do anything.


    "Yes," monster stated simply. Wonder if that was because he''d seen me in the mansion or because the countless years taught him a thing or two about tickling under fingernails.


    "Let me down," I said, starting to struggle weakly. I didn''t want to talk about that, therefore wasn''t entitled to this ride.


    "No," monster stated and made no move to release me from firm one-handed grip.


    "I wasn''t threatening. Few living things could withstand what I can do," he eventually spoke. And by that I meant when the scenery has changed. Can''t say my mind drifted far either. "Sometimes young humans aren''t afraid, but you are. And yet you act otherwise."


    "Enamoured with my impulsiveness?" I teased with a grin I didn''t feel. Too exhausted to go on playing joviality I muttered, "You''re not the scariest thing I''ve ever seen." I slumped against warm monster and stared at passing branches. "I''m sure you''re terrifying as fuck and all, my cup is just full."


    "But how have you survived thus far jumping head first into the danger?"


    Not on my own, that''s how.


    "Oh look, kitties!" I pointed and flailed. Monster eventually took the hint and walked towards a band of several cats. It has been a long while since I''ve seen those. When he''d stopped, I looked down at the worst distraction in the world of distractions yet. There were around ten bodies lying in a ditch. Obviously whole and uneaten. One was face up and had a round hole in it. The animals stared on at us without flinching.


    I looked away from the sight and found several blackened squares with charcoal poles sticking out. Unbelievable, some small community had still existed in out in the wilds not too long ago. Until.


    Tried to keep it in, but couldn''t resist it in the end. "See, this is scary," I said flatly. "Ancient monsters doing their thing eating one or two? That''s just survival of the fittest."


    "Isn''t this survival of the fittest as well?" monster suggested. "Your people consume the weaker too, if they have what you want."


    I shrugged, "I guess. I might just be salty from sitting on the lowest rung so much." Being powerless was such a universal sin.


    Monster turned his blind head towards me in some gesture I could not decipher. "That is why I wonder how you survived. You''re very well adapted. Even took down the humans of the privileged class."


    He just won''t leave this alone, huh. I rubbed my eyeballs and in absence of sight, the smell of rotting flesh hit me like a hammer and awoke other associations. "By dying myself!" I shouted, losing all composure. "How does that seem as winning? Great survival trait, isn''t it? Is that what you want to absorb from me? Well fucking take it! Shove it and choke on it! Go hang from a tree!"


    Just before I shouted some more angry nonsense I felt my head clear and anger dissipate. It was sudden and therefore very noticeable. I had no doubt monster purged those emotions, leaving me calm as the sky. Why was the weather so nice all the damn time? I wanted to get angry, be angry, but nothing was happening.


    "I do not need anything from you, human. I am perfect," he paused and gave me ample time to roll my eyes. "You simply are my pet ¨C and I will take care of you, even against your wishes."


    I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. Could resistance be a particular point of interest?


    "Right. Well, fine. Just so you know - I am very much like a parasite. I latch onto the capable and then get them killed. You''re next," I grinned venomously and tapped his chest. This wasn''t a threat nor a warning. Merely a pity party for one. I would normally be better at hiding my inner workings, but monster didn''t bother with repercussions and my search for boundaries continued.


    The other too-human hand reached out and cupped my cheek. That, coupled with the still turned face almost made the devilish creature seem human. Almost. The gestures were still fixed and uncanny. "That is acceptable," he said gruffly.

 7 V 1

    Just a day later I saw spires of the bell towers. All my meandering delayed the inevitable only by that much.


    It was the first time I observed it from afar and the fortified town wasn¡¯t anything outstanding in appearance. The colourful roofs screamed how beloved the properties had been back in the day. When I squinted I could almost imagine how it all must have looked all those years ago with fresh paint, neat hedges and blooming gardens. A scene from a life I never had a chance of living even then.


    Now though, most everything was dimmed or even on the cusp of collapse. A lot of the previously quaint houses were dismantled and bricks donated to the unsightly yet essential perimeter wall. Barren, gravelly lots where houses used to stand both on the inside and outside the protected territory. Gaping eyeholes of some abandoned cottages, as glass must have been even harder to come by out here than in the city.


    I saw some movement beyond the wall from my high perch. Sentries noticed the demon approach. He was sticking out like a sore thumb on these plains, after all. Good for them not to be napping on this fine day.


    I saw people lurk at the entrance, waiting for the approach, but demon wasn¡¯t following the road exactly and just leaped over the wall like complete savage. I¡¯m guessing that was expected, or they¡¯d have moved to open the gates. He stopped at the small central square and I was gracefully deposited onto the cobblestones. Several denizens already stood waiting, couple more trailing in. Few eyes peered out of the former prayer house¡¯s dark gateway. Quite the crowd of curious gawkers.


    ¡°Greetings, fellow dark cultists! I have returned. Oh and him,¡± I looped thumb vaguely behind me. My voice was sonorous and clear, posture proud and mighty. Whatever I wanted to pull off, I did it. There was no doubt.


    ¡°The fuck is he wearing,¡± some grump muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.


    I wasn¡¯t to be cowed. ¡°Glad you¡¯ve addressed the issue immediately. Your god commands this be our new uniform,¡± I bellowed the decree without as much as twitching my lips. More than few sets of eyes popped out. The god in question did not confirm or deny. Excellent.


    All the horrified glancing around told me I was sufficiently believable. Being carried in like a foreign prince must have done the heavy lifting, but still. Nobody argued. Great success.


    ¡°That said, the uniform is hardly weather appropriate. You,¡± I pointed at the asshole with deepest scowl, ¡°bring me a coat.¡± As warm as the breeze was, it still managed to shrivel me up so much I was almost appropriate again.


    Guy cast a glance towards the unseeing demon, then back at me and I waved him off impatiently. I¡¯ll probably get shanked later if the reddening expression was any indicator, but five minutes of authority? Totally worth it.


    Everyone else just stood and waited, both wary and in awe. Just like the last time. Crossed my arms and stared back at them, too. They¡¯ve never seen a monster? You¡¯d think out here in the boonies it would be the opposite. Or was it truly some sort of religious experience for the lot? Almoner swore it wasn¡¯t, but I still couldn¡¯t help but wonder. Some could have still carried sentiments of looking for meaning in weird places. Some could have freshly gained it. The creature was probably older than our entire existence. Were they, the monsters, all like that?


    ¡°That thing you ate, was it as old as you?¡± I asked staring up at the curling horns.


    Monster didn¡¯t reply and I thought that maybe there was just one village fool he spoke to at a time. Was this why everybody flocked to witness it, rather than engaging themselves? Low grumble dismissed my musings, ¡°Too young to know better.¡±


    ¡°So you eat babies,¡± I skipped several questions that popped up in favour of poking fun.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    The low bark made several people flinch and I sighed. This guy was a terrible stand-up comedian.


    ¡°So how young is too young? How do your usual lunches compare to you and each other? Or humans.¡±


    ¡°Humans are my usual lunch,¡± demon growled out and now I was sure he had an agenda to ruin my fun. Or perhaps he didn¡¯t enjoy an audience? Or did, but had other ideas of entertainment? He was posing as god to these people, incidentally or not. Had an image to uphold or whatever. Looks like my new goal in life will be to ruin that!


    Before I could get to business, mean-faced man returned with a raggedy coat, which he also vindictively dragged through the mud. Which was fine by me, since I was the least fussy orphan in our corner of town. Which apparently wasn¡¯t cute anymore in a grown-ass man, in Cherry¡¯s opinion. Vanquishing chill that threatened to settle over my heart with a massive smile, I grabbed at the garb and tucked myself in. Finally, some warmth! No more huddling with an ancient terror for basic survival.


    Priest trailed just behind the big surly. Demon spoke before he could be greeted, ¡°There is a group of thirty eight humans just outside of your domain. Two ¨C very close, very quiet.¡±


    Dead-eyed battle monk nodded slowly, ¡°They got here yesterday. I¡¯m waiting on their move.¡±


    That was bad news, no matter which way sliced. Nobody just showed up to lurk at your doorstep with good intentions. They had to be well-armed to just camp among the trees too.


    All of that sounded terrific, so I gave the crowd thumbs up and made myself scarce. Priest¡¯s intense stare probably attempted to keep me nailed to the ground, but I was a free spirit. Or at least I was going to pretend so for as long as I can get away with it.


    As the scary-looking mob began discussing unpleasantries on their doorstep, I was thrilled to avoid it completely. Especially since I was familiar with the layout this time around and didn¡¯t need any help getting around. First order of business! Warm bath.


    Scenery was plainly idyllic. The old opulent building stood majestic to one side, the river sloshed down the hill on its merry way. It was still relatively early in the day, so nobody else was washing up. Some carpenter with two right arms put up the shower stalls, benches and even saunas skilfully. Everything was beautiful and not least bit crooked. Great communal recreation area, even if I didn¡¯t see joining the local crowd.


    Most of the city had just cold running water, which was frankly miracle enough. The house we unlawfully occupied had even that turned off. We found workarounds, but it was still tedious and not least bit pleasant undergoing. Especially on occasions when officials bothered to check if anybody was stealing their shit. Long story short, I was ecstatic to take a dip in a heated river water. I was okay at kindling a fire, so it didn¡¯t even take long. Several cranks of a lever and I jumped right in onto the wooden rack inside the metal bathtub without bothering to undo the straps. They were hardly in the way, anyway.


    After finally warming up my cold bones, felt an intense hunger. My body was starting to relax. The bunch of tiny wild pears I¡¯d picked up for breakfast were hardly satisfying. Much less so than the instance of annoying demon to go back and get them.


    I could take a casual stroll through their vegetable patch, but I saw myself being watched by several scowls already. It would be an easily provoked fun, but for once I just didn¡¯t feel like it. I was too damn tired. And fortunately for everyone who would be involved, going on empty was the standard for me. I took a couple of turns in the small town and ducked away from view into someone¡¯s beloved rose bushes to nap in the waning sun.


    When I woke up the stars were twinkling. My back was frozen over again because of the cool earth. Bad choices on my part again, but nothing new there either. As I sat up, found blanket draped on top of myself.


    ¡°Grandma loved these roses,¡± familiar young cadence spoke. I seemed to have startled Almoner out of some reverie. He smiled but unlike when I did it, it was all grief. He¡¯d need more practise with this. I grabbed around until I found his frozen fingers and gripped them.


    My foggy mind grappled for ideas. ¡°Yea? They¡­ did look splendid. Didn¡¯t think I¡¯d be seen through the thicket.¡±


    Blond head jerked to the side to point at a window. Frankly, I hoped this was one of the abandoned houses. It should have been, technically, as Almoner stayed in church¡­ while I was around anyway. I must have caught him in a bout of melancholy. Might as well, misery did love company.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± he asked suddenly, after taking firm hold of my hand. ¡°The devil¡­ has found you again.¡±


    I chewed on my lip, moved by insistent sincerity in the young voice. This sweet summer child of mine. ¡°I¡¯m sorry for not saying anything before leaving. There¡­ wasn¡¯t time.¡± There probably was, but I didn¡¯t want to take risks. I was selfish like that.


    His other hand flailed to dismiss it, ¡°I understand completely. That¡¯s fine. I hoped¡­ you¡¯d get back home to your family safe.¡± I don¡¯t think I flinched or showed anything on my face. I had too much practise to be read easily. But his eyes scrutinised my face in the dark anyway and at that moment I felt seen through completely. He said eventually, ¡°You didn¡¯t answer.¡±


    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    Ah, evading was the mistake. I could be flippant, but felt like I owed this boy more than that. He did take care of my lame ass that entire week for me to just disappear like smoke. ¡°I¡­ am not okay. Not remotely,¡± I admitted impassively, fearful that the admission alone would break the dam. In the companionable stillness some pressure released and I felt that maybe I could do even a little better. ¡°They are dead,¡± I whispered out the cold hard facts and didn¡¯t even break to bits. I thought it would hurt more, but turns out I accepted the reality for what it was days ago. I was as low as I could have gone already.


    Almoner exhaled so deep he was about to implode. ¡°Because of¡­ the¡­¡± he finally stammered out and I shook head, understanding the glaring concerns.


    ¡°I don¡¯t even fully understand how he¡¯d ended up where I was. Completely unrelated.¡± Just look at me being cool and nonchalant about massively uncomfortable, life-defining events.


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ good?¡±


    I shrugged, having no idea. I didn¡¯t appreciate being ripped out of the maw of blissfulness, but good for the kid, I suppose. The idol remains untarnished for little while longer.


    ¡°Never mind all that! Say, where do you people keep the fuel? I¡¯m going on another trip,¡± I inquired cheerfully, glossing over all the unpleasantries. I knew where they kept the cars, which littered the abandoned roads by the dozen, but important resources weren¡¯t sitting out in the open.


    My palm got gripped so tight it was almost painful. ¡°You mustn¡¯t do that,¡± youth informed me, his shadowed face was fixed upon mine, although he couldn¡¯t have seen much either. Before I could protest and insist, Almoner went on, ¡°They wouldn¡¯t want to become reason for it. Don¡¯t burden them so.¡±


    My mouth opened several times as I imitated a suffocating fish. No, there was nothing I could say. He¡¯d completely seen through me. This darkness worked against me.


    ¡°The dead don¡¯t care,¡± I shot back with venom. Shook my head, wanting to say he doesn¡¯t, wouldn¡¯t understand. But there was nothing special about it. Mine was generic old story. We¡¯re all just playing same old twisted game where nobody wins.


    He was correct, I realised. Ruby would slog me unconscious if he knew I was actively trying to waste all his effort of keeping me alive all those years. Really, the man should have invested it differently. Perhaps if that busybody hadn¡¯t began picking stays up starting with me, he wouldn¡¯t have gone down that sad route at all. There really was no point of me having been alive at all. I found myself pressing the fingers into the wet eyes as if to gouge them out.


    ¡°I¡¯m not dead,¡± Almoner¡¯s hands gripped my wrists to pull them away just as I started drawing blood and forced me to look at pale outline of the blond head. Damn kid was surprisingly good at this. Not quite the na?ve brat he¡¯d seemed to be in daylight. Village healer for a reason, it would seem.


    So I¡¯d kissed him. It was likely an overused routine which he¡¯d relayed to every sad sod around - of which there were many nowadays - but I was cheap anyway. He implied and I needed to forget the things he¡¯d dredged up. It all checked out as a go in my head.


    The blonde¡¯s tongue was sluggish and timid. He hadn¡¯t done this a lot, which I¡¯d found surprising ¨C he wasn¡¯t that much younger than me. It was saying more about me than him and I listened to every word. What has all that been for? All those people¡­


    His fingers tentatively brushed my hairless chest and my companion snorted lightly, ¡°What is it you¡¯re wearing this time?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, you¡¯re gonna love it,¡± I assured him with a smirk, shrugging out of the coat.


    ¡°Was this what they were whispering about?¡± Almoner chuckled to himself, his palm brushing over the leather straps one by one.


    When I moved to get closer, the blonde started to put his arms around me but suddenly pulled away, landing the hands on my shoulders this time.


    ¡°What?¡± I asked sensing irritability returning. He couldn¡¯t have been that inexperienced. Or was small town boy remembering he¡¯s not into men?


    ¡°You know I like you,¡± he begun and looked for words above my head.


    ¡°But?¡± I urged instead of agreeing. This was going somewhere I didn¡¯t need right now and I was done with all the suspenseful pauses that suddenly befell my life.


    ¡°You seem to belong to the devil,¡± blonde whispered choppily.


    ¡°So do you?¡±


    Youth shook his blond mane. ¡°Not like that. He doesn¡¯t even talk to anyone besides Priest. And even with him, devil just walks away without a care no matter how badly he¡¯s mangled.¡±


    ¡°Well, that¡¯s because¡­ well, for one Priest is immortal and¡­¡± they¡¯re connected in some way anyway. There was more I could say on the subject, but didn¡¯t feel like going into it right now. The kid was just looking for an excuse anyway. ¡°Why would an alien creature even have such concept? He watched me get railed all night long and didn¡¯t care. If you don¡¯t want to, just grow up and say so,¡± I said with a knowing smirk and patted Almoner on the cheek. I felt his face contort from frown into a surprise and confusion. Introducing more oddities into already stupefied mind might have been a mistake.


    ¡°Those people¡­ are they alive?¡± kid asked stiffly and I didn¡¯t react. It was unrelated bit of murder on my part anyway.


    I groaned tiredly and chose to address the other thing instead. Monster carried more authority anyway. Strange he had stuck around, but the armed threat to his little slice of paradise must have been a reason enough. ¡°Monster!¡± I called out into the dead of night and cringed for it was loud, then repeated, ¡°Ey, monster!¡±


    There was no reply. I had no doubt ancient monster could hear lone bellow in the night. And probably not just that, but the entire half-whispered conversation. Those ears were seriously out of proportion with rest of the body. Almoner gripped me by the straps and shook as I was about to shout more, with his horrified eyes obvious even in the dark. I chuckled. As fun as the spectacle could have been, I didn¡¯t really want everyone up in my business either.


    ¡°Fine, I¡¯ll go ask like a cultured person,¡± I sighed for show and stood. ¡°Where¡¯s he at?¡±


    ¡°By the church,¡± shaky healer replied, his hands not relaxing nor releasing the straps. Not until I kissed him again. Then I¡®d left him standing in the shadow, stepping onto the path outlined by solar powered torches here and there. It was meagre but they did the job. If the village people needed actual light they¡¯d set fire to blackened intestines of some monsters. They burned well and brightly. Seeing as all the ritzy doohikeys took a turn towards decline, the alternative advancements would probably end up taking over in the long term.


    And I even knew where they kept that barrel. File the idea for later.


    Frolicking down the street I regretted leaving my coat behind. The nights were getting chilly. But that¡¯s not what was on my mind at the time. Seeing demon¡¯s dark silhouette emerge from behind the corner I squealed and launched myself at him in a sprint, ¡°Baby! Where¡¯ve you been? I¡¯ve missed you so!¡± He stood exactly where I¡¯d left him. Probably same exact spot.


    From mere steps away I lunged, shouting, ¡°Catch me!¡±


    Instead of flopping down on the stone pavement, or toppling over us both and landing in a heap of elbows, I was caught and hung suspended.


    ¡°You actually did,¡± I exhaled surprise. I¡¯d usually trip everybody down and Ruby would then add onto the new bruises.


    ¡°Of course,¡± monster ticked quietly as though it was only obvious. Show off.


    ¡°Sooo, did you eavesdrop?¡± I inquired knowing the answer full well.


    ¡°I heard, yes.¡±


    ¡°So why didn¡¯t you broadcast your permission for everyone to know? You¡¯re scaring the common folk into being unreasonable, yano.¡±


    ¡°You assume much,¡± demon chastised and I raised my eyebrow.


    ¡°Is that a no?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    Demon didn¡¯t elaborate and my irritation made a comeback. I swung my dangling legs up and down, to calm myself. The few dim blips aside, the surroundings drowned in the dark. The scarce torches weren¡¯t all that visible from distance. Stars above were only intensifying the feeling of being somewhere deep in the ocean. It was terrifyingly beautiful.


    ¡°What¡¯s your name anyway? I¡¯d hate to have some other monster pop up next time I need to holler.¡±


    ¡°Your kind has given me many names,¡± horned monster rumbled.


    I haven¡¯t seen all that many movies, but still recognised the line. I scoffed deeply irritated, ¡°I didn¡¯t ask that. What you call yourself?¡±


    ¡°I do not,¡± he said and I felt my nails rake something. There wasn¡¯t pain so it must not have been my skin, but monster haven¡¯t reacted either. Must be nice to be able to turn off every bothersome function of your body.


    Released abused flesh and made a fist instead. Fine, the monster was right. I didn¡¯t call myself either, was not that crazy ¨C yet. Before I could specify further, monster elaborated, ¡°Speech is distinctly human mode of communication. It¡¯s inefficient.¡±


    I huffed at the stuck-up monster - of course his way was much better. Didn¡¯t protest with my inept words however, because deep down I knew he was probably correct. These things had eons to work it all out.


    Tendril separated itself from a hem of his hood and twined around my neck. I tensed up. Unsettling, but the creature could rip me apart without this. Base of my skull tickled and between blinks I started knowing more. The buildings suddenly were clear as day, and I saw far further. Forest, the people in it. The swaying branches around them. The critters on the other side. The entirety of information made the tiny personality within my meat suit balk.


    A powerless gargle in lieu of words focused the attention back onto us and the onslaught of information stopped immediately. I shook, revolted and exhausted. If I had any strength left, I¡¯d leap away and retch. The negative physical sensations disappeared few heartbeats later but I still hung, breathing heavy and nobody said a thing.


    That wasn¡¯t even one set of information. When I made noise the image diverged and I realised I was thrown into another detailed landscape. The later one was present. The previous must have been from when we came in. Had he tried to relay something? Things had been somewhat different, but I just didn¡¯t have any spare capacity to compare.


    If monsters could assault their conversational partners with the grand totality of anything and everything, no wonder they didn¡¯t waste their breath. Speech was quite inadequate after all. Too bad that was all our puny human brains were capable of.


    After what must have been way too long I snapped back and looked into the fishbowl of darkness once again. What were we talking about again? Right. Names.


    ¡°So when somebody calls you, they send you an image of you?¡±


    ¡°No¡­¡± This time I felt the monster try and put complicated things into a small one-sentence package for my little brain to comprehend and didn¡¯t fault him. I did decide to fault him when it seemed horned devil abandoned that explanation whatsoever and moved on from it. Eventually the chest rumbled, ¡°Such intrusion is not usually welcome. Too easy to kill. By accident or on purpose.¡±


    I sniffled what could probably be blood and hissed, ¡°What, too intrusive? If only there were other ways to casually shout from a distance.¡± Stupid monsters.


    There was another ponderous pause and he said, ¡°My name is under your fingernails.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I stared at the unclenched fist, obviously not seeing a damned thing.


    ¡°The smell is specific to each individual living thing.¡±


    ¡°You people are so damn complicated,¡± I huffed out, rubbing my temple. Gave my nails a whiff. It smelled of the ground I¡¯ve been gripping in my nap.


    ¡°It¡¯s the first time you called us people,¡± monster stated.


    ¡°Aw, what, lil baby monster had his feelings hurt?¡± I mocked him for no reason besides my own defensiveness. I didn¡¯t really spend all that much time pondering the subject before leaving the city, none at all to be exact, but then at least one of them appeared and spoke. It was simple to come to right conclusions.


    ¡°No. Humans are less than bugs to us.¡± And yet he brought it up and that told me something.


    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t be so butthurt. Plenty of humans are monsters too,¡± I explained hastily and went back to dissecting more interesting things.


    ¡°So this smell¡­ Fresh meat?¡± There was barely anything on my hands, but I vividly recalled what his maw smelled like. I grasped for polite way to say it was generic as fuck. ¡°I¡¯m probably not picking it up right¡­ All innards smell more or less like that. Right? Perfume or hints of oil would be more specific to tell people apart, no? Or whatever it is you¡¯d be around the most.¡±


    ¡°Items and environment add clarifying markers, but they aren¡¯t the essence. Human senses are hardly sufficient to tell most of those apart.¡±


    I inhaled deep but there was nothing still. Not even on his living coat. Which was odd, and how did I not notice it earlier? Well, I guess it would be somewhat weird to be carrying tantalising fragrance of butcher shop everywhere you went. I didn¡¯t walk around with my ID taped to the forehead either.


    That took a lot of effort and I still didn¡¯t have a name. Now I of course understood his side of issue, but it hardly helped. ¡°So how do I call you? If you make me pick something, I promise you ¨C it shan¡¯t be flattering, Hammie.¡±


    Monster ticked away quietly and then said, ¡°I primarily smell of nerve tissue.¡±


    ¡°Hmm¡­ Fitting, as you do get on my nerves a lot. Brainiac? Highbrow?¡± I pondered. That went with the body parts theme the monsters had going, but these were far too flattering. ¡°Noodle!¡±


    ¡°You sound malnourished,¡± monster bit back and I had to admit he was probably right.


    ¡°Fine, you do deserve a normal, human name. Shall we call you Parkinson? In honour of all that restless twitching you do,¡± I said and nodded energetically. This could really grow on me.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you eat?¡± creature asked after a short tingling sensation I was learning to associate with him doing something to me.


    ¡°Stop that,¡± I demanded, yanking myself forward to interrupt whatever that¡¯s been happening on my back. It ceased and didn¡¯t restart even when I settled back. Why was I still lounging in his arms anyway? It was warmer, I suppose.


    ¡°Eat, or I will do it for you,¡± monster stated. He knew I didn¡¯t like that. We¡¯ve covered that extensively during the trip.


    Commands didn¡¯t sit right with me at all and I frowned in disgust. Almost forgot the creature was as bad as all the rest of the power-tripping assholes. There goes all the rapport we¡¯ve almost established. No matter, he will be able to be as bossy as he wants to the pile of my ash soon.


    ¡°Of all the things, that¡¯s what I need you doing least,¡± I muttered angrily and scrambled off the alien overlord.


    Monster let me go easily for once, but his hand lingered and brushed upwards as he asked, ¡°What do you need me to do?¡± It felt undeservedly pleasant and a shiver emanated from his touch and down my spine. It confused me. Was I that starved of tender touches? Yes, but no. As natural as it felt, this couldn¡¯t be coincidence, with a monster that smelled primarily of nerves. I stared up at the blind horns. That was¡­ suggestion. Right?


    One way to find out for sure. ¡°Again,¡± I demanded. One way or the other I came here looking for some bliss. Did it matter I¡¯d find it in hands of literal monster? Not in the slightest.

 7 V 2

Full scene with the resulting intimacy and subsequent tiff, along with other obfuscated content can be found at:


    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    https://audranasa.gumroad.com/

 8 V 1

    I loitered most of the following day. We ate breakfast and Almoner ran off to do a shift on the wall. It was still cold outside so I opted for more warm bed time. After finally catching up on all my beauty sleep I crawled out of the aged abode and ventured to see what other common folk were up to.


    I saw quite a number of them walk around with riffles on their back and felt sudden urge to go back and bury my head in the pillow.


    Braving the cracked up pavement regardless, I found out that the wry stares I was getting weren¡¯t imagined ¨C which was odd. I even wore an ordinary t-shirt for once. Nevertheless, I was happy to finally stumble upon some normalcy. I waved to a couple of frowning women. Smiled blindingly at the scowling gangbangers. I could almost affix familiar faces from the city onto these people. The more things changed, the more they stayed the same.


    Sadly, not all were leering from a distance.


    ¡°¡­ And now you crawl out of that brat¡¯s place,¡± a pushy nuisance spoke at me again and yet again I ignored him. I didn¡¯t like this particular specimen from the last visit, but then the brazen asshole wasn¡¯t bothering me directly. Perhaps I was worth the effort now that my face wasn¡¯t all swollen. ¡°I knew¡­¡±


    I turned and jumped up in pretend surprise. Right on time too - his paw was about to land on my shoulder. ¡°Oh, good lord, say something next time!¡± I exclaimed.


    Hefty man¡¯s eyes narrowed, unsure if I was insulting or just not entirely here. Some days I wasn¡¯t sure either. He settled on me being daft in favour of achieving his goal, ¡°Shall we go to my place?¡±


    Such an everyday suggestion. Better, even, as my usual place of business was an alley or a literal hole in the wall. And yet, there was no reason for me to be living that life anymore. I rocked on my heels, grinning. ¡°And why would I do that?¡± I asked befuddled.


    The arm ended up slung over my shoulder anyway. ¡°Oh, don¡¯t play coy. I knew you were the type since I first saw you,¡± sleazebag whispered to my ear. I didn¡¯t ask for details. I probably did look every bit of what I was. This was essentially just another brash client, I just didn¡¯t have the need for money any more.


    I wish I had cigarettes to light up and pretend he wasn¡¯t here again. Perhaps I could pull one out of his pocket? Man¡¯s other hand landed to pat my chest and interfered with the grand plans. He insisted once again, ¡°I can show you good time, you won¡¯t regret it.¡±


    Turns out I was ignoring him like a champ even without a prop. I sighed, because it was tiresome being so good at escaping my problems one way or the other. Or making them worse. It was dice roll.


    I scoffed with genuine amusement. Tapped my lips with a finger, pretending to be in deep though and said, ¡°Highly doubt that.¡± As his grip tightened, I went on, ¡°First of all, I would be showing you good time.¡± The confused man stopped squeezing my nape. I shrugged with my pondering arm, purposefully aggravating the guy some more. ¡°But why would I? I mean look at yourself. When was it you even shaved? Or, oof, washed?¡±


    ¡°Listen here, you whore,¡± the other arm of his gripped my throat, but the amateur was terrible at this and my voice box was free to keep throwing insults.


    This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.


    I nodded along, ¡°Hookers are your only hope of getting laid.¡± I was too tired to be on my best behaviour and frankly several bruises would have done good job of reminding me to occasionally shut up. This wasn¡¯t a guy who¡¯d take a simple no for an answer anyway. I¡¯d have to demolish him, make him truly loathe the sight of me.


    In a flash everything changed - and not for the worse. Mild shock. I blinked and found the man lying on the pavement and another standing over him. The dead eyes bore into me accusingly. Or with constipation. I had no idea.


    ¡°Hiii,¡± my energetic wave was accompanied by a pitched greeting. Having already said everything I planned to, I turned and walked off. I already hated this day. Should have just gone back and napped.


    ¡°I met a very pale, very upset red headed rapist,¡± toneless words caught up to me but didn¡¯t register immediately and I kept walking. Then they did and angry annoyance flared up.


    ¡°He¡¯s not¡­ What?¡± Was all I managed as I turned on my heel and stared, unable to hope.


    ¡°Had you not gone into hiding yesterday, I would have told you sooner,¡± Priest explained crossing his arms and staring. He was being accusatory, then.


    ¡°Had you had more than two expressions, I may have gotten clearer clue,¡± I retorted.


    ¡°Two?¡± he asked seeming almost intrigued, but I didn¡¯t feel like cracking pooping jokes all of a sudden. If they met it had to be after I was taken.


    ¡°When?¡± I asked, clenching my fingers to stop them from shaking.


    ¡°Earlier yesterday. He handed me a bag of supplies and promised me more if I knew anything about your whereabouts,¡± tired-looking man in charge recounted in complete monotone. ¡°Thanks for the supplies, by the way.¡±


    I fell onto my knees, muttering, ¡°He¡¯s alive?¡±


    ¡°Barely,¡± Priest said impassively and an image popped into my head of forlorn redhead forcing himself to move through the pain and bleeding stitches to find a way out. He was always so unstoppably stubborn. I had to get back before he hurt himself more, because he would.


    ¡°I¡­ need to go,¡± I muttered to nobody in particular and scrambled up to stumble in a vague direction of the city, cutting though someone¡¯s yard. I would jack a car, but I couldn¡¯t drive. I needed to move anyway. Physically do something about this.


    ¡°You plan on walking,¡± deadpan tone ridiculed my choices from several steps away. ¡°You smell like us now but you¡¯re not a mouth, are you?¡±


    I glanced over my shoulder, astounded by proclamation. Thank fuck for the little miracles. ¡°Now why would you say something so hurtful?¡±


    Priest stared at me and I turned away. It was too piercing to bear. The demon would probably don this exact vast emptiness on his face if it was ever revealed.


    ¡°Scent can only do so much. There has to be intelligence to be warned off by it, or a nose to catch it in first place. You won¡¯t make far,¡± I was quietly informed.


    ¡°No, you stink!¡± I pointed at him indignantly and worriedly glanced towards the church and outdoorsy amenities.


    Soundlessly following man kept talking, ¡°Parts of your body have been replaced. That¡¯s not gonna wash off.¡±


    I grit my restored teeth and squeezed fists, stopping hands from rubbing together to reassure myself they were really mine. ¡°Why do you care anyway?¡± I hissed at him.


    ¡°Chance are he¡¯ll follow you to make sure you live and I might need help with the interlopers,¡± man in charge admitted solemnly.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you get them already? What was with all the noise whole morning?¡± The distant crackle of gunfire on full auto roused me irrevocably, and the bastards didn¡¯t even have decency to be all dead. Rude.


    Priest¡¯s eyes kept boring into my soul as he spoke, ¡°Something else has found them. Since they don¡¯t need to pretend they aren¡¯t here anymore, I expect some progress today. So if you pipe down and wait a bit, I¡¯ll drive you back myself.¡±


    ¡°Ugh, why didn¡¯t you just go in and kill them days ago?¡± I muttered, annoyed about this inconvenience. There was about zero chance they were here on peace mission.


    ¡°Because there¡¯re a lot of machine guns and I''d need to gorge incessantly to replace what I lose,¡± he informed me unenthusiastically. That was a lot of information and I wondered if townspeople who badgered him got this exact answer or was I privy to family secrets now.


    I shrugged and whispered conspiratorially, ¡°I prefer to slack off ¡®til the last minute, too.¡±


    ¡°Your rapist buddy will be fine. He had horde of kids and women telling him to sit down,¡± Priest looked off into the direction city was at, too.


    ¡°Not like he listens,¡± I muttered and scowled in remembrance of his words. ¡°You call him that again and you¡¯ll wake up to nasty surprises in your boots.¡±


    ¡°Terrifying,¡± his dead fish stare landed back on me. It would be, I silently pledged. I was of no use in a brawl, but I¡¯d teach this oddball the horror of anticipation. ¡°They ran out of other brands at the fair?¡± the intense man asked coarsely and I stared back at the local overlord. He had to be shrewd to deserve the position and likely was much older than he looked. Priest knew when he saw a killer. Was that astute man¡¯s way of being placating? Such a wise elder.


    ¡°Something like that,¡± I muttered, boxing up my ideas of being minor menace. For now. ¡°I¡¯ll be around,¡± I promised vaguely and walked off, away from the shortcut towards wilderness.

 8 V 2

    Plopped down next to gloomy-looking Almoner. He pretended to smile in a greeting. It didn¡¯t seem like just the mind-numbing boredom of an eight hour shift which must be coming to its end by now. Lingering yesterday¡¯s melancholy? Worry about the imminent attack? The gossip flying around town? Divine retribution? Secrets? So many problems to choose from. I ignored all of them.


    And created my own. ¡°I stole all your strawberry jam and you¡¯ll have to fight me for it,¡± I announced mischievously.


    Almoner was unperturbed, but the grin seemed happier, ¡°No, you didn¡¯t.¡± This confidence made me think that I had in fact overlooked something.


    ¡°The cellar,¡± I said suspensefully, ¡°is now empty.¡±


    Brawny blondey snorted, ¡°No, it isn¡¯t.¡± I was about to weave more lies, but he interrupted me with a permission, ¡°You¡¯re welcome to it anyway, boney.¡±


    I pretended to be insulted, he pointed out how loose his clothes were on me. With such light-hearted banter we successfully kept our worries at bay, neither mentioning anything relevant. Sun started weighing heavy on the horizon and a bell sounded. Few seconds later a radio crackled, telling about an odd couple at one of the gates asking to talk to leadership.


    I wanted to sit tight and miss out on the excitement, but at that exact moment shift change came and relieved Almoner. Since the kid wasn¡¯t yet cured of his youthful curiosity, we made our way towards one of the gates.


    Plenty of armed friendlies gathered here to gawk. It was an overkill for mere two patiently waiting silhouettes.


    The fortification was a little above my head, but there were mounds every few steps to¡­ observe and fire back? I couldn¡¯t resist peeking over it either. The strangers wore camouflage. Clean and shaved. Didn¡¯t look like they spent days camping out in the woods, fighting off monsters. They were armed too, but stood relaxed. The bad news were, these people didn¡¯t look like bandits.


    There wasn¡¯t much to speak of that way. Some saplings and an unused road. Even I could tell these people circled around. Will the assault start from the other side, then? Perhaps it was good choice to position myself at an opposite wall.


    ¡°What do you want?¡± a guy who wasn¡¯t Priest called back. Envy. He hung around the man often enough for me to think that maybe he did have the authority to do this. Surely everybody else thought so for nobody said a thing. This guy was older, perhaps oldest I have seen in the settlement. He wore leather jacket with patches, black bandana and sunglasses. The very image of Priest¡¯s biker crew, although I was yet to see any motorcycles.


    ¡°I am captain Spengla. I am empowered by our government to assess your settlement,¡± taller of the questionable men shouted. ¡°We are here to help.¡±


    ¡°We don¡¯t need yer help,¡± the gramps called back loudly.


    They argued the point back and forth for bit, military man offering food, possible restoration of running water, sewage and electricity. The old man didn¡¯t give any details about just how fine the little town got by without any of those. And they truly did. Waste went into compost heaps, water came from the wells and lighting from the beeswax and alien innards. Whatever else they needed they successfully traded for.


    ¡°It is time we stood united, not scattered each to his own. You are still part of the country,¡± soldiers implored, their approach changing towards appeals to a better human nature. There was none to be had. Faces around me were all frowning. We all knew what that really meant.


    ¡°Nice euphemism for taxes, but we aren¡¯t making any money,¡± old coot said. Cash, of course, was the least interesting thing in a harsh world of hunger and survival. ¡°Or does the local lord mandates we have to give up half of our potatoes now? Welcome back to feudalism, boys!¡± Villagers laughed grimly. They too thought granary was point of interest in this inspection. They weren¡¯t graced by thugs, but it was close enough.


    ¡°We do not need your help,¡± he reiterated after commotion died off. ¡°Nor are we able to assist you or the others. We have just enough for ourselves. Leave.¡±


    The tall fighter did not relent, ¡°You misunderstand. There are many ways to cooperate. You could operate as a safe house for travelling convoys or provide intelligence on surrounding areas. We could open a regular trade route. New documents could be issued and passages opened to urban centres.¡± That suddenly did seem like a good deal. Tad too good and it immediately made me suspicious by default.


    ¡°We could go into cities?¡± somebody asked loudly in a slew of hushed whispers.


    ¡°Of course. You are our citizens,¡± the captain confirmed fervidly.


    Odd. On both sides. Getting into a city wasn¡¯t that hard. Perhaps the bumpkins never tried because of the long trek to reach one? And military men thought too highly of their impenetrable defences? Because nobody ever checked identities of those already inside. Branded people were the only ones to get the occasional boot.


    ¡°Who¡¯s that guy?¡± I asked Almoner and he did confirm the intrigued speaker was one of their own. Priest¡¯s fellow, picked up out the wastes before they even got here.


    ¡°You think it¡¯s a bad idea?¡± healer asked and I shrugged. Really didn¡¯t have an opinion.


    ¡°I grew up in place ran by military. Their shenanigans would seem normal to me. But¡­¡± I concentrated and gave it a big think. ¡°They probably intend to leave a garrison permanently. To ensure safety of their whatever. You¡¯d have to do what person with a gun tells you to. And they wouldn¡¯t let just anyone walk around like that,¡± I gestured towards the armed crowd. Some wore brands. Yeah, definitely not these fellows. But even now the villagers just listened to scary-looking motherfuckers who would sack them in the teeth for nasty look, so would it really be all that different?


    Old man deliberated with his cronies and must have reached a similar conclusion. ¡°However beneficial your offer is, we do not want strangers traipsing around. Nor your assistance necessary.¡±


    ¡°Is that because of the mouth who lives here?¡±


    Chilling quiet extinguished the whispers. Even the idiots were catching up that something was not quite what it seemed here, in case they missed a memo of war band watching them from afar.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± old man feebly played senility card. His scratchy voice certainly assisted with the illusion, even if the strong frame denied it. The enemy didn¡¯t see it.


    ¡°We have a report of a man defeating foreign entity, then flipping van back and driving here.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ you mean travelling merchant? We have nothing to do with that.¡±


    ¡°And what about the other mouth? One with horns.¡± Our number was up. They began revealing their cards.


    Gut-wrenching tension was present and I couldn¡¯t hold back, especially since nobody else had any handy excuses on hand, ¡°That¡¯s just our Parkinson. He¡¯s going through a phase.¡± The crowd gaped at me ¨C some with horror, others just frowning. I shrugged, whispering the explanation to them, ¡°You know, because of the¡­¡± I exaggerated tremors on my hands for show. Several frowns turned into pity or disgust and I rolled my eyes. These god damn bumpkins understood nothing.


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    ¡°We mean no harm to you or your¡­ allies. But we are coming in and assessing the settlement,¡± military man stated. ¡°For one, you are restricting passage through public lands. Two, as stated, you still are part of this country and we must ensure the laws are being abided to.¡±


    ¡°Three, take our food!¡± one of the crowd yelled at the sunset.


    ¡°That is entirely unimportant right now. I am tasked to make a census and accurate map of land we realistically hold.¡±


    ¡°Census? For conscription,¡± another irritated voice called out.


    ¡°It¡¯s strictly voluntary service. However, once you hear of the benefits, you will be lining up to do your duty,¡± captain whatshisname was still being diplomatic but tone of his voice changed to more authoritative. Nice to meet you, I thought.


    ¡°Which way did you come from?¡± I asked, not really caring for the answer ¨C it was all too easy to lie. But part of me wanted to find out anyway. Some frowning people gave me stares again.


    After getting the answer, I deliberated geography with Almoner and decided soldier was vague enough to either be truthful or lie and get away with it. Which was answer enough.


    ¡°Captain something,¡± I called back.


    ¡°Spengla,¡± man replied calm and collected. He really liked his name. Soldier boy was either really an official on official business or about to smear someone¡¯s reputation with terrible atrocities. But that¡¯s a lot of work and dedication, so probably the former. Why have someone else ruin your good name, if you can do it yourself?


    ¡°Why such shallow graves?¡± I poked my head out to look at the pair again. I wouldn¡¯t be able to tell if they lied, but there was a chance to catch them off guard and slipping up. ¡°And didn¡¯t even finish burying the bodies. Tsk tsk tsk. Why such a rush?¡±


    ¡°What bodies?¡± No reaction. My supreme hit and run interrogating techniques were powerless against these professionals.


    The two whispered among themselves with completely relaxed postures whilst waiting. I had no further inquiries, villagers frowned at their brand new and shiny madman.


    The awkward lull in the talks must have told soldiers we have no more questions. ¡°We will come back again tomorrow and expect to be welcomed inside. It will happen one way or the other. Order will be re-established. We are giving you this night to talk amongst yourselves and get used to the idea. We can iron out the details afterwards. Have a good night.¡± The two turned and walked back briskly.


    Whilst some descended into chatter amongst themselves, one of the crowd snarled at me and strode as though to shove or punch. ¡°What was that about? You think it¡¯s some kind of joke?¡±


    I wasn¡¯t about to find out which option he¡¯d prefer. Ran on first sign of trouble. Could have mouthed off some more, but getting beat up by a gang and a mob didn¡¯t seem quite as fun as being able to painlessly breathe. Someone was still giving chase and I sped up. It wasn¡¯t Almoner because the kid still argued with those that felt too lazy to go after actual reason of their ire. Welp. I guess, I was a little too used to my companions being able to scram.


    The people who chased after me weren¡¯t as good at this as me and I was gaining distance, but the town was only so big. I really didn¡¯t want to brave the wilderness at night. Swerved, vaulted a little unkempt hedge and flattened myself to the ground to hide. My legs carried me to seek safety in the presence of someone bigger and badder. My pursuers perhaps lost me, but likely just figured out where I went. Nobody even crossed the street to get into demon¡¯s face. Ha, fools! The creature would just stand by and watch me getting beat up again. Luckily, they didn¡¯t know that and I have sown enough doubts.


    I sighed and turned over to lay on my back, staring at the dimming sky.


    He was alive. He was alive.


    ¡°Household in the woods was not eradicated by these particular humans,¡± demon¡¯s growl rolled off the cold stone and through my back. I rubbed my face tiredly. Of course. Should have just let them kick me unconscious and spare everybody the misery of my musings. He went on, ¡°but they knew who you were talking about.¡±


    ¡°Knew as in found it like that?¡± I checked.


    ¡°Knew names.¡±


    That didn¡¯t prove anything, neither had it laid the suspicions to rest. Quite the opposite.


    I blankly stared at the cloudy red sky again. This information didn¡¯t serve me in any way at all whatsoever. Such unnecessary bit of detail. I didn¡¯t even know why I bothered asking. I knew the soldiers would be coming in and establishing dominance here anyhow and that was already reason enough for the village to fight back, which they were willing to do in first place. There was only ever us or them. And I wasn¡¯t part of this anyhow. My people were out there.


    I found my vision obstructed by my own fingers and before I could rake my face again, donned a smile and turned to gawk at the horned statue in the shadow of grandeur house of worship.


    ¡°Why are you outside anyway?¡± I asked to get my mind off things. I really barely cared. Monster could sail himself down the stream if that made him happy. Surely would improve my mood and situation. All the villagers who suddenly took liking to the side entrances would appreciate it too.


    ¡°I am not human,¡± demon grouched out slowly. ¡°I do not need to eat or sit down.¡±


    ¡°But you do need to. Eat,¡± I countered with some distaste.


    ¡°Only if I move a lot,¡± demon explained solemnly.


    Circle of life. There goes that attempt at conversation. Work, stupid brain. Work on something that¡¯s not depressing. And something that didn¡¯t involve yesterday - because I wanted to come closer. To put my palms on the rough leather. The urge for that was unexpected and unreasonable, so I chased it off.


    ¡°You¡¯ll turn to stone if you keep this up. I mean, look, people already started thinking you¡¯re a statue and leaving flowers like it¡¯s some memorial,¡± I said looking straight into the mess at his clawed boots. There were couple of candles, too. Apparently not everybody avoided the demon. I lamented the fact that I wasn¡¯t the one to think of this. The scene was genius.


    Priest¡¯s stealthy form quietly popped out of nowhere. This seemed a lot like business and I didn¡¯t care about that. I jumped onto my feet and went to look for more of the meaningless crap for the demon¡¯s altar. Do they have a funeral wreath somewhere in there? No, probably not. I¡¯d need to pick those flowers myself, at least there were a lot of overgrown gardens nearby. Ribbons?


    Stepped inside the oppressive structure and breathed the cooler air. Sun wasn¡¯t able to permeate these solid walls, barely casting colourful light through the narrow high-set windows. Some people lounged around. Quite a number of them. In time of danger everyone relocated here, after all. They stared at the unwelcome eyesore who dared to brazenly walk past the monster on their porch and I felt exhausted. Grabbed several candles off the ledge and went back outside, where ancient horror at least didn¡¯t have the eyes to stare with.


    Everything was still so I figured the talk has concluded. That was fast, but those two could probably slap one another with onslaught of information and be done.


    I strode forward and began brazenly, ¡°So, since I see you love the¡­ Uh¡­ Um. Am I interrupting¡­?¡±


    I was, wasn¡¯t I? Fuck. Pressed on my eyes. I hated this weird place. I just wanted to go home, curl up in our living room to all the annoying chirping and never leave.


    Priest was kneeling, forehead to the cobblestones, as though in a genuine worship. This instilled both fear and disgust in me. Was that my future? Was this what good pets did? Was this why the man had that completely spiritless look on his face? No wonder the others were bringing demon offerings - if even their leader treated this monstrosity so. Perhaps the government should bring the order back. Perhaps I should still burn myself alive and not risk bringing misfortune upon my house.


    The demon walked off without a word and Priest stood up, looking at me. ¡°He hates those,¡± man said nodding towards candles as though that was the main thing to be addressed here.


    ¡°What, because of the fire?¡± I replied coolly, as if it was every day that I came across a cult leader prostrating himself before his god. I did stumble upon plenty of fucked up shit in my life, so it was a well-practised skill.


    ¡°They stink,¡± Priest informed me and I nodded. Makes sense, I suppose. They did seem to have sensitive noses.


    ¡°That¡¯s even better!¡± I said cheerfully, as though we weren¡¯t on completely opposing sides on the scale of pleasing the demon. The cultist-in-chief didn¡¯t seem to mind. ¡°Where¡¯d he go?¡± I waved the candle in the air, wondering if I was free to go the other way.


    ¡°To kill them,¡± Priest said simply.


    One grovelling to take care of forty nuisances? I suppose it was worth it.


    ¡°Pretty ballsy. I¡¯ve seen the military take down a lot of things.¡±


    Perhaps my woes were fleeting and this will all be over in ten minutes? Watching city defence at work was an understated pleasure of life. Monsters came in all shapes and sizes and displayed all kinds of unseen tricks, most of which seemed like magic in the eyes of children. Fuck, might have been exactly that because even as adult I had no explanation for most of them. And yet, bastion of humanity still stood.


    ¡°That¡¯s why I didn¡¯t go myself,¡± Priest informed me unhelpfully.


    ¡°What does the monster want with this village anyway?¡± I asked instead of going down the road of thinking creature did this to help these people. His people?


    ¡°Nothing. It wouldn¡¯t care if every last one of them died.¡±


    Charming. I scrunched up my nose. ¡°So, what? Because you asked?¡±


    He sighed at the need to explain, ¡°It¡¯s less of a hassle than putting me back together again, and then needing to go finish them off anyway.¡±


    I nodded empathetically. Must suck when runaway body parts keep getting into trouble. I shrugged that thought off and ended up hugging myself in the chill brought on by darkness. If the creature doesn¡¯t care for the people, what does it want with me?


    Gunfire started crackling somewhere over the horizon. There was a lot of that incessant, dull noise. It didn¡¯t stop. I thought I heard screams, too, but perhaps that was just a vivid imagination.


    ¡°Show off,¡± Priest whispered, inclining the head to listen better. ¡°All that ammo,¡± he said regretfully, but there was no heart in it. Who in their right mind would complain about the things their very corporeal deity did?


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound like it¡¯s going smoothly,¡± I commented sceptically to the obvious sounds of distress.


    Dead eyes turned back at me with their own incredulity, intensifying explosions doing nothing to dissuade the fanatic. ¡°They could have been dead without single one noticing,¡± Priest spelled it out. I had to admit, he probably knew more than me.


    ¡°If it¡¯s so strong, why are the cities still standing?¡± I cut back, refusing to buy into the unseen things.


    ¡°Ash is not very interesting to play with,¡± unblinking stare was hard to take when he particularly demanded it to be so. And it wasn¡¯t entirely pleasant to endure on a good day, either. Was I starting to rub this steadfast man wrong? About time.


    ¡°Hey,¡± I called out holding that steely glare even though there was no reason to posture. He was a hardened gangster capable of many undesirable things and whilst I wouldn¡¯t be able to fight back, I thrived on general unwellness too. I guess I just wanted him to know. ¡°What does it want with me?¡±


    Priest looked away unexpectedly as though to concentrate on the sounds of waning gunfire. ¡°For you to live.¡± This discomfort¡­ the asshole knew something and deliberately hid it.


    ¡°He said he doesn¡¯t make people he¡¯d just met into mouths. Is that where I¡¯m headed?¡± I insisted.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Likely. Unnecessarily.¡±


    I grit my teeth. ¡°What if I burn myself?¡±


    The impassive eyes returned on me. ¡°Probably too late for that now.¡±


    Well, fuck. Chewed on my lip. ¡°You¡¯re obligated to say that. Even more than normal amount,¡± I insisted.


    Priest stared down at me still, his lips thinning some more. ¡°Young man. Your only hope now is to become very dull.¡± Oh, how I crave that. To just settle down on our beat-up couch and never move anymore.


    ¡°Is he a danger to the people I care about?¡±


    ¡°Are they interesting?¡± Was that supposed to be a joke? Either way, it just wasn¡¯t funny. Man who was dead on the inside was terrible at this, who knew?


    I had nothing else to ask and plenty to ponder. Priest nodded a semblance of a goodbye and made himself scarce, probably to check up on the meat grinder caused by his deity because there was no path where he set off to. It was all quiet now. The devil must still be leisurely munching on the dead bodies.

 8 V 3

    I exhaled deeply and plopped down on my ass. A mistake. The air was cool, but it had nothing on the stone. Too late now. Didn¡¯t have anywhere else to go anyway, and there was this mini-altar here. Held my fingers by the two candle sleeves and lit up my own sticks as well. The gentle breeze kept threatening to blow them out and it took good chunk of my time to position them just right.


    Crossed my legs and started weaving flowers together. Didn¡¯t want to go to Almoner¡¯s today. Paranoia told me I would be expected by the mob. Probably not and I could sneak away even if so, but just didn¡¯t feel like encountering a problem. Hoped the kid got away scot-free, but if he hadn¡¯t it was either too late now or I would be powerless to help anyway. Either way, I didn¡¯t want to know. The less I was aware of the less I needed to deal with.


    I told myself they all just forgot my aggravating shenanigans and went to sleep. It was early, even if already dark, but still. Probably enough time to cool their heads. Sleeping outside in the cold just wasn¡¯t all that terribly unusual to me. And if the monster decided to wander off and never come back I¡¯d know first-hand. By the time I finished ruining the beautiful tulips most of my worries were either sorted or half-forgotten.


    I was entirely too much at peace for almost whole minute when universe decided to right itself.


    ¡°What a beautiful smile you got there,¡± match struck behind me as someone came out for a smoke. I heard the voice somewhere very recently.


    ¡°Did you come to worship at the altar, too? Come, sit. Give me your bountiful offerings to twine into a works of art,¡± I showed off my garland and snuck a peak. He shaved, and perhaps even washed, but it was undoubtedly the bore from earlier in the day. Props for that. Nobody could fault a man trying to better himself.


    ¡°Ye, I¡¯ll give you something to worship,¡± he grabbed my slightly overgrown hair and stood over me, savouring the power. I grinned wider. Even when I was doing my utmost to avoid problems, they¡¯d still find me. This had to be some kind of superpower.


    I kept smiling like a fool and caressed the calves. He accepted the gesture eagerly and the grip on my hair eased. This could end quickly with a simple blowjob but I was in foul mood. Stealthily I reached for candles behind him. The idiot didn¡¯t notice or suspect a thing over his massive ego and a fucking tiny dick. The loose sweatpants caught fire and silently crept upwards. It didn¡¯t burn quite as well as I hoped, nothing like the flames of the mansion. The cloth mostly just melted. I sighed resignedly. Whatever, it wasn¡¯t like I was trying to torch the man.


    The guy eventually figured out back of his legs were smoking and started trying to shake me off. I kept the candles in my hands, cackling in response to the blows to the head. It truly was all too funny for some cursed reason. My lean, aerodynamic physique was no match for the brute strength and he kicked me off far too soon. I¡¯d done no damage and now I¡¯ll lose my teeth. Again. Typical. There were one or two curious people who popped up but nobody was going to risk their hide for an egregious outsider.


    His pants were ruined and still scalding so my unwanted suitor ripped them off, going straight towards me ¨C but perhaps with different intentions now, if the flappy wiener was of any indication. I was both ¨C still giggling and too disoriented to make it on my feet in time and bail. He grabbed me by the neck and I could not laugh anymore.


    ¡°You fucking slut,¡± he cursed. ¡°You tempt me and then do this?! Stop fucking laughing!¡±


    Apologies never worked anyway. I mean, they softened the blow, but at a certain point in the rain you just didn¡¯t get any more drenched. And I felt like I was about to overflow all the damn time. I guess this was it.


    He shook me, and shook some more but then it stopped mid-motion and his hands let go. I cracked my head on the rocks. It hurt, but I kept my whining in in the presence of that other, visceral agony. Animalistic screech that reached somewhere beyond comprehensive thoughts and communicated to the animal inside. One that made blood run cold and not dare look. The howls of the damned in the deepest pit of hell. The shrieks of people caught out outside the walls in the night. The terrible pitch that sang of purest pain. Sounds which never dulled no matter how many times I¡¯ve heard them.


    There were some panicked shouts around. The locals were running in to defend but they all stopped and stood still somewhere just outside a perceived barrier ¨C in the grass, bushes, other side of the street.


    The man¡¯s screaming was peeling his throat raw. He was hugging, then clawing at himself. Something like a bulbous worm ripped through the clothes and buried itself back in the flesh. Were those his organs? The man kept on bawling, twisting, trying to catch the monster surfing round and round through the meat like water.


    More people came out and shouted something too. I wasn¡¯t overly concerned. Sure, the sight was absolutely alarming and probably dangerous, but I was somewhat concussed and mostly worried about the other, bigger monstrous presence looming over me. And I wanted to touch him so bad.


    My monster completely ignored fussy surroundings as though he wasn¡¯t a part of the chaotic scene and definitely not the cause of it either. He was so close. Tentatively I reached out and my fingertips brushed that ridiculous claw sticking out of the boot. I sighed in relief and closed my eyes. There was not a trace of previously experienced pleasure. Not even a shiver. But it soothed the craving to run my palms down his skin. Now if only I could stop myself from grabbing the oversized nail with all my might next, that would be nice.


    I did feel something, I realised. The fog lifted and throbbing in the skull eased. He noticed, then. I removed my fingers immediately and pretended it didn¡¯t happen.


    ¡°Can you do your thing little less loudly?¡± I rubbed my temple with one hand and waved in the vague direction of the screaming spectacle with the other. Man¡¯s raspy screech cut off almost immediately. He still gurgled and wheezed, worm squelched and sloshed, but I was able to think. I exhaled and discarded any unnecessary ponderings.


    ¡°Did you have fun?¡± I asked with a smile, pretending to be somewhere else entirely and talking to normal people.


    ¡°No. Their effort was pathetic. Some just ran. Mouth is dealing with those,¡± the growl sounded terribly inconvenienced. I resisted cringing or rolling my eyes.


    ¡°Well that¡¯s what you get for playing with your food!¡± I chastised monster from my dignified crumple on the ground, still in the presence of inexplicable pain. Somehow I wasn¡¯t all that daunted. More surprised. This was in direct assistance to me, right?


    ¡°But that makes it so much more worthwhile,¡± deeper growling made goose bumps rise and I finally managed to remember that that¡¯s all I was to this exotic animal, too. Entertainment. Food.


    The monster bent down ¨C actually, like a human ¨C and his hand landed on my sore face. I tensed up, but not exactly out of fear. The move itself was confusing as fuck. He never moved if he didn¡¯t need to - unless it was for show. Sure, I felt my injuries mending, but he could have whipped out a tendril, touched with the foot or just waited for me to get up.


    I looked away from the darkness of the hood. I don¡¯t know why I kept affixing my gaze onto it, not like there were eyes to meet mine or even a face. Well fine, maybe some face? I had no idea, but for sure none of it was functional anyway. Should I be looking at his chest instead, where he kept the voice?


    In actuality I should not be sitting right under this oppressive presence.


    ¡°Oh, a cigarette!¡± I was thrilled to find the still smudging stick on the ground and reached out, scuttling away. Put it in my mouth. Disappointingly, half of it gave out. The candles were all kicked away and trampled. What a waste. ¡°I don¡¯t suppose you got fire?¡± I asked the demon half-heartedly.


    The creature crouched down on his haunches. The human hand went up again and each finger lit up in different coloured flames. There was neon green, aggressive pink, wispy blue, dim purple and even dimmer violet. ¡°Ooh, pretty! Impressive, meat monster.¡±


    None of the digits were getting damaged.


    ¡°You find this impressive?¡± The scoff in the gruffness was obvious. Priest was right. The monster must have wanted to show off with the juggling of organs on the live specimen or the slaughter of fully equipped contingent earlier. But I, after all, already seen people sliced up open and unable to die. I held back the eye roll and scrunched up my lips in a thoughtful manner instead.


    ¡°Hmm. A little disappointing. Why are there two purples?¡± The lights flickered and all of them shuffled into different shades. ¡°No, no, now most of them are yellow. That¡¯s boring as fuck.¡±


    Instead of slapping me or putting them all out in annoyance, the monster ticked quietly as if pondering. It went back to how it was before. ¡°Which ones are purple?¡± the blind bastard asked.


    I shuffled closer, leaned in to light my tired cigarette and inhaled extra deep. The haze was fantabulastic. The gurgling man smoked some potent shit. I rubbed my chin thoughtfully and pressed two fingers to monster¡¯s knuckles. These definitely had to be someone¡¯s real arms. There were scars on the skin and bones underneath were abused. Not unlike Ruby¡¯s. Hands of someone who talked with their punches.


    The shades flickered and I shook my head, ¡°No, now it¡¯s green like here.¡± After couple more failures I couldn¡¯t hold back the spice in my tone, ¡°Oh, if only somebody had eyes.¡±


    ¡°I do have eyes and the colours you describe are already different. I do not understand.¡±


    I snorted. Purposefully confusing the blind man would have been fun, why didn¡¯t I think of it?


    ¡°You¡¯ve eyes?! Lemme see!¡± I reached for his hood but was caught by enflamed appendage. Unlike his, my skin sizzled. I didn¡¯t immediately feel it, but when the pain hit me the night turned bright.


    A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.


    A warning? Or was this almighty being sadistically inclined? Chances were it was so, as with most self-important assholes. I wouldn¡¯t mind putting up a show to display my misery if it pleased my newest master so. Or would he be the type to get inappropriately enraged over display of weakness? Did he even understand that humans felt intense feedback from injuries? The disfigured man flailed around wildly. Would the monster helpfully just burn me to crisp? So many questions, so few answers.


    Instead of screaming like my damaged forearm required, I sucked on the cig and huffed in monster¡¯s face. Forced those thoughts down. None of that mattered.


    ¡°I was literally all the way inside your maw and you¡¯re shy about a face?¡± I asked in my firmest, non-trembling voice which I loaded with scepticism. Easy, because after all any sort of timidity I might have had was lost to the tides of time. Modesty was something I was unable to understand.


    Flames extinguished and skin mended. Mastery of all things meat was very impressive, but I wasn¡¯t going to tell him that. In the absence of pain, my muscles relaxed. I hadn¡¯t even realised I¡¯d become so tense. Should have just screamed, I was fooling nobody.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have a face,¡± monster growled sharply.


    ¡°Then what are you being so bashful for?¡± I was hoping to push some buttons, but this started to feel like an argument with the kids. Am not! Do too! I waited for the defensiveness.


    ¡°For you to realise I¡¯m entirely inhuman.¡±


    What does that have to do with anything? Clearly, the thing with looming crown of horns stood no chance of being mistaken for a real boy. ¡°You need to pop out those eyes of yours more often. Perhaps walk by a mirror or two,¡± I suggested.


    ¡°You think you comprehend it, but you do not,¡± sharp rasp informed me.


    ¡°But¡­ what about¡­ Then¡­ You really think?¡± I was at a loss for words. This rarely happened. The audacity of this creature! I breathed and smoked and then shouted, ¡°There¡¯s no way I ever thought of you as human! You literally just unzipped your stomach that time. You¡¯re fucking growling.¡±


    Monster shrugged with one shoulder as though to say he wasn¡¯t the one making the rules. It was time to employ second stage of arguing with a prepubescent. Brute force. Fine, so perhaps I was the childish one ¨C but that still counted.


    I launched my other hand towards the skin masquerading as fabric. Unsurprisingly, he caught that too. I just needed to pull on it a little. It was an iron grip, could not budge it forward in the slightest. Squirmed with effort some more. Nothing. Launched my teeth forward and a new, skinless hand split off from one of his and grabbed me by the throat.


    I choked and coughed out, ¡°See, you do shit like this and keep expecting to be seen human?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± monster said as though I was not getting it. I wasn¡¯t. I strained my neck towards the cigarette stump. It still had some life left in it. Success. I would have launched the ember into the mysterious darkness, but unlike me the creature felt no pain so it was a waste of good cig. I exhaled smoke into it instead.


    ¡°Do you have a nose?¡± I inquired.


    ¡°My skin,¡± monster replied pithily.


    ¡°So no nose-nose. But you¡¯ve eyes now? In there,¡± I pointed at the hood.


    ¡°Not anymore,¡± he said gruffly and I sighed. He was so infuriating.


    Chewed on my lip and gave it a big think. In the trek he had said that the incomprehensible instilled terror in us mortals. Was he apprehensive of innate human reaction? The creature took form of a human. He even made lips up for me to kiss yesterday. This boneheaded oaf cared.


    And I kept looking, expecting to see something under the hood. Meanwhile there was¡­ nothing? Was that startling, under normal conditions? Probably.


    But if he was so considerate, why was there a grotesque lump of meat crawling around? I narrowed my eyes. Nope, I had no clue. Different approach. Maybe some other, limited exposure would work instead?


    ¡°Can I touch your face?¡±


    Tick tick tick. ¡°There is no face,¡± monster replied eventually but relaxed grip on one of my hands.


    That wasn¡¯t a no. Progress!


    I could still try and yank the hood off, but lighting was abysmal anyhow. Just before touching what was under the heavy hood, I stopped. Is this a trap? My skin still remembered sharp needles trailing down to fingertips. Was he going to bite it off? I decided on a no. Had he planned on doing that, it would already have happened. Instead, he caught me. Though burns hurt too. Oh well, he¡¯d probably regrow it anyway and I¡¯d receive a nugget of insight on my jailer.


    Hand went deep under the fake fabric. When my fingertips touched the skin under the skin, a very inappropriate shiver of anticipation ran down my spine. I forced away the memory of pleasure. It was unwanted, unnecessary and untimely. It was still hard to concentrate. I grit my teeth and gave in, sinking my whole palm down onto it.


    There were no features. No mouth, no nose. No head at all. Horns sprouted up from the body masquerading as the neck, made a turn at very top and sprang out somewhere at eye level. My fingers gently traced the knobby rows of thick bony trunk, thumb brushing the same leathery texture of as his outer skin. There was no head. It was indeed peculiar to find complete absence of an essential organ.


    ¡°What bit me that time?¡± I wondered, finding no sign of a cakehole.


    ¡°I change upon circumstance,¡± he said and it was very strange to get a final nail in the fact that he did not speak with a mouth.


    ¡°Is that something else you wish to hide?¡± I asked cheekily, ever the predator of insecurities. Gripping monster¡¯s lack of head caused another quiver run down my neck. I suffered an urge to pull him in for kiss, but it was impossible.


    From so close I heard something wet peel off and pinpricks touch upon my skin. The sensation was revolting. I tentatively maneuvered a thumb to probe a tooth. Found a fleshy edge ¨C a mockery of actual lips. Unrestricted finger hovered over and was unable to explore any further. The ancient horror was correct, something felt intrinsically wrong about this. Perhaps I did imagine the monster more like us than I had the right to.


    I let go and tensed to move away. His teeth and three hands released me in tandem. Not unsettling at all. I took a step back and chilly wind suddenly made me miss them. Monster was always so warm.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± I said almost without stammering and had nothing to add in the awkward silence. This time it was truly uncomfortable. My gut twisted with all sorts of conflicting emotions.


    ¡°You dislike yellow?¡±


    I quirked an eyebrow. Smalltalk from a demon? Sure, why the hell not. ¡°Nah, it¡¯s just¡­ ordinary, I guess. That¡¯s the colour of fire over here. Well, mostly¡­ the animals from your hellhole burn in different hues.¡± I looked at one such torch in the distance. It was a little green. Glanced back at the monster beside me. I would ask what colour fire is in their world, but alas ¨C demon had no eyes. Work, stupid brain. What kind of place was it anyway?


    ¡°Do you even have fire over there?¡± I finally forced out. Stupid. Why wouldn¡¯t they have it?


    ¡°Under certain conditions, yes, but it¡¯s an ocean.¡±


    ¡°Oh,¡± I said, mentally patting myself on the back for being an actual genius. ¡°Oh,¡± I reiterated with far less enthusiasm. His real appearance must be completely different over there. How fundamentally different their existence must be. Was he even a vertebrate? Does that matter for shapeshifters?


    ¡°You people are majorly missing out on late night barbeque parties,¡± I concluded.


    ¡°That¡¯s disgusting,¡± monster hissed out and it sounded eerily genuine.


    ¡°What is?¡± I found myself confused.


    The demon has lost a few growly ticks either in an irritation or bewilderment. ¡°All of it. The smoke. Ruined tissue. And if I want to suffer diminished capacity I can just slice parts of my brain off.¡±


    Did somebody piss in his plate in one of those? ¡°Picky eater much?¡± I huffed at the negative, grisly Nancy. I knew human things would be of no real interest to the alien creature, but it was polite to at least pretend.


    ¡°Very,¡± he confirmed and my gut churned nastily at the reminder. This asshole preferred the partygoers to the grilled treats. And I was it. I should do a better job dancing around dangerous topics. Did not need a constant reminder of things to come.


    Backtracked. ¡°Not a place humans can go, then?¡±


    ¡°Not for the lack of trying,¡± monster grated out as though he had to sweep a pile of corpses off his welcome matt every morning. ¡°Do you want to?¡± he asked unexpectedly.


    I swayed on my heels back and forth. Couldn¡¯t even begin to process what he might have meant by that. As his future dinner, that was my final destination anyhow. Before braving alien worlds in form of mince or otherwise, I had other places to be. Raked my overgrown mane, rubbed at the eyes and decided to risk bringing it up. Bargaining hadn¡¯t worked with this creature yet, so I just went for it. ¡°I have¡­ somewhere to be. To talk to somebody. After that I¡¯ll do whatever you want.¡±


    Silence hung and I had an urge to ask whether he¡¯ll eat my friends on sight even knowing how easy it was to lie. I had no intention of believing promises anyway. Kept my trap shut. Perhaps I spoke out too hastily at all? Fuck, maybe I should have just asked Priest to relay to them that I¡¯m fine. That alone might not convince Ruby but perhaps at least dull the urgency and let him heal.


    ¡°Your¡­ mouth is taking me there, so it¡¯s all safe and dandy and under supervision¡­ I¡¯ll even be back here as soon as I possible,¡± I lied, but he didn¡¯t need to know that. I was genuinely desperate to be fully believable anyway. ¡°It¡¯ll be of no inconvenience to you.¡±


    Suddenly and for no rationale this felt like a big ask. Should I grovel? The body part man did that for some reason. Horned deity did look imposing and the wheezing art installation made me very conscious of that fact.


    Do I use my feminine viles for persuasion? Demon had no sex drive to be manipulated over. Fuck. Should I promise to clean up the garage or something? I heard the kids who were actually housed beg so of their keepers. Witnessing that I was always glad to be unattached. Free. Few people who might have cared where I end up were always with me anyhow.


    Feelings of suffocation swirled inside of me again. I hated the leash over my neck. But one way or the other I always ended up in these situations. Such was fate of the weak.


    Before I could resort to some drastic idea, monster decreed, ¡°We¡¯ll go.¡±


    We? Will go?


    ¡°You¡­ will fit in a car?¡± I turned my head to re-evaluate the ostentatious coiling adornment. Right, I forgot again ¨C he could probably contort in some way.


    ¡°No,¡± monster growled and it sounded like nails on rusty metal sheet.


    The bikers had to have some of their old life stashed away in some shed still. ¡°Motorcycle?¡± I asked even more tentatively.


    ¡°No.¡± Voice sounded far less harsh this time.


    The smell and probably the noise. Right right. ¡°Are we gonna¡­ pedal there on bicycles?¡± A sight to see.


    ¡°No,¡± was all the monster had said in reply again and it felt like he looked forward to more of the stupid suggestions.


    ¡°You just don¡¯t know how to,¡± I accused knowing full well it probably wasn¡¯t it. I mean, the monster in all likelihood did not circle around his neighbourhood on a small wheeled contraption as a child, but there were other things to consider. Like his public image. He didn¡¯t reply. I probably should have phrased it as a question. ¡°Do you?¡±


    ¡°I do,¡± he let out a short hiss.


    ¡°You do?¡± I gaped. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s harder than it looks,¡± I said because I¡¯ve tried and I was yet to succeed myself. So if the mode of transportation was it, I¡¯d be screwed. Luckily at this point it was just morbid curiosity.


    ¡°I¡¯ve consumed multitudes with the ability,¡± monster stated as though that¡¯s how it worked. It didn¡¯t¡­ did it?


    Crossed my arms. ¡°That¡¯s not how it works. I¡¯ve eaten a lot of pigeons but I¡¯m yet to fly.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve no wings.¡±


    I scoffed - as though that was the main problem here. Perhaps it was. But I felt like I¡¯d be pointlessly flapping around on the ground even with them.


    Demon¡¯s head tilted and he relented, ¡°The way you and I eat are fundamentally different.¡± So what, did he just needle me back? For fun? How mysterious.


    I sighed heavily and had to agree. He was an alien organism with far superior control over his ¨C and others¡¯ ¨C bodies. ¡°You extract memories¡­ or something?¡±


    ¡°Something,¡± demon had not elaborated. Very convincing.


    ¡°Aha. We¡¯ll shop around for a tricycle for you when we¡¯re back in city, then.¡±


    ¡°You mean, for you?¡± Before I could get any brattier, monster went on gratingly, ¡°Because you don¡¯t know how to ride the big boy rides.¡±


    Any scraps of my good humours evaporated and I felt the full force of night¡¯s chill. Those were exact words the kids with parents had said to me years and years ago. I could bet both of my arms it was not a coincidence.


    The faceless emptiness bore straight into me. I knew because the hoodie was askew and perhaps that was the point. Minute detail to be noticed if I cared to. Well, I did. My stomach roiled and I wanted to be violently sick. Preferably all over his beloved shoes.


    Should have gone down grovelling route. I felt like each time I tried to poke at the demon, he came out on top. This was way out of my league. He was not my pal. Not an overconfident client. This was a god damn unknown life form from another world. Unlike with the spoiled snoots from the nicer streets, I would not be able to solve this situation by going over the bike in question with a crowbar. Torching things wouldn¡¯t help here either.


    I did not delve into further implications of whatever display of power have just happened there, but this had to have been what dead-eyed warlord meant. It was far too late for me to escape. Perhaps I should just cease testing the boundaries. I had general idea of permissible things. It would be enough.


    Without saying anything else, I just stepped backwards and left. What was there to say in face of total defeat? It was probably time to try Priest¡¯s suggested tactic and just become plain obedient slave. Maybe he¡¯d get bored of me.


    Quietly I seethed. Fuck them demons. Mean asshole, casually flexing mindreading. This is why nobody wanted to speak to him.


    Just off the beaten path a stocky pale silhouette stepped forward as though to meet me. It would have been unsettling, but I saw paleness extend to the haircut too and smiled. Almoner¡¯s eyes were wide with worry or fear. Or both. I grabbed his palm and tugged tense man after me towards his cosy sunken house.


    ¡°Are you¡­ okay?¡± he stammered out right after the door closed. If only he knew how little privacy that has given him. Or me. I will never again have a peaceful shit all to myself, will I? I probably wasn¡¯t alone in my head anymore either. Fucking outstanding.


    ¡°Of course,¡± I smiled warmly in response to his abject terror. It¡¯s like the kid has never seen intestines hanging off a living thing. How embarrassing for him.


    ¡°What has happened there?¡± he whispered and pointed at the door. Could tell he was more than just a little unsettled. Perhaps questioning the entire joining of the demonic cult thing. Comparing pros and cons of living in the countryside with the horrors.


    I shrugged as casually as I could, ¡°The guy trampled monster¡¯s little shrine. He must have gotten upset.¡± From the boy¡¯s expression it was wrong thing to say. I was way off my game today. I palmed his bruised cheek with icy hand. The problems I caused don¡¯t go away simply because I¡¯m not there anymore. ¡°Did you perhaps want the military to come in?¡±


    ¡°You think they should¡­ have¡­ had¡­¡± Almoner¡¯s speech turned to weak whisper as he recalled quieting clatter of gunfire just a while ago. Yes, it was far too late for that whether they¡¯ve had good or bad intentions.


    I shrugged not knowing and not caring. ¡°You¡¯re asking the wrong guy. I¡¯m an amalgamation of questionable choices.¡±


    ¡°But¡­¡± he expressed a vehement emotion with no follow-up.


    I kicked the shoes off and began undressing. Glanced over my shoulder. He watched, but the boy was far too worked up over the wrath of demons for sex. Another sleepless night chuck full of incessant thoughts awaits, but I was determined to spend it in a comfortable bedding anyway. I had serious misgivings about camping in near future.


    ¡°There¡¯s never a right choice,¡± I said, falling face first into the pillow and digging myself in. ¡°You¡¯re not the one who makes them, anyway - the ones with power do. So don¡¯t worry about it,¡± I grinned back into the room and watched him watch me with bewildered eyes.

 9 R 1

    We chatted some more ¨C mostly about irrelevant things. I¡¯ve informed Almoner about my plans to leave the next day. He eventually calmed down enough and fell asleep like a baby without single worry in his light head. In his defence, it was very comfortable. Even I passed out for few good hours.


    I stuffed my face with groats and his grandma¡¯s sugary jam. I tried to go easy on it, but the kid hadn¡¯t lied. There¡¯s been an entire cellar full of it, ready to be consumed for years to come. The old lady has been prepared for this disaster and the next.


    Didn¡¯t take any food with me. Starving was a norm and hauling ass with extra weight would become a problem eventually. However, I felt like I¡¯d need some more mental aid during the trip, so I shamelessly stole tobacco rolled up in an old newspaper. They smelled reinforced with something extra. The kid was great with herbs.


    Wrapped myself tight in the gifted coat and stepped into the damp chill. I was undecided about this little village. I didn¡¯t dislike it, but didn¡¯t feel right being here either. It was probably the people, but they were the problem everywhere. I was people.


    I trotted down the path towards the wall, hoisted myself over and thread through the tall grass. Well-worn shoes got immediately soaked and I congratulated myself on a great start. Feeling of discomfort got heavier when I started having pinpricks of alarm at the back of my head too. Creature was being quiet, but I just knew he was creeping behind me. It was probably hard to miss an entire human clambering over an infirm structure in the morning stillness. I must have made enough noise to alert monsters in a village over. Might as well have shattered a window or two in the process.


    There were noises of birds. Chirps, peeps and whistles. I was yet to see any. The trees were eerily still. Nothing jumped in the branches. Recently, the birds were strange even in the city. They stared lethargically and acted like they wanted to be eaten. Which wasn¡¯t a huge problem as monster meat had become big part of what¡¯s kept ravenous humanity fed these days.


    I probably shouldn¡¯t be leading the way, I belatedly realised in the open fields. I only had vague direction and lifeless thicket ahead didn¡¯t look all that inviting. The ticking behind me was increasing in intensity and was audible even to my wanting ears. I was right then, something did lurk in the bush.


    I needed to ask. Plead to be lead safely through. Didn¡¯t feel like talking to that lordly, invasive presence. There was a chance to stumble upon something nasty which would eat both of us in one gulp and if that didn¡¯t sound like a solution to an embarrassing mistake, I don¡¯t know what did.


    From a slight elevation of dead stump I¡¯ve spotted a road and changed direction. It went vaguely the right way and even narrowly avoided the brush. Good enough. I was sure I¡¯d stumble upon a road sign sooner or later. I¡¯ll reorient myself then. Wasn¡¯t too worried ¨C all roads had to lead to the regional capital, after all.


    Hours passed, sun climbed to its zenith and glared down in full force. I glared back at it. I was drenched and beginning to feel tired. Monotonous marching was grating on my nerves. I wanted to move faster, but a jog would only exhaust me more in this trial of endurance. Car ride must have taken few hours tops. On foot it would be some two days if I¡¯m lucky. And I never was.


    Not to mention being stuck in my own company. Same three thoughts swirled round and round. I was forced to consider every possibility, however unlikely. There was nothing left to figure out on any of the annoying, irrelevant subjects. And yet¡­


    I had to hurry and meet him before I¡¯ve driven myself mad. I scrubbed sweat off my face and tripped over a stone. I needed to sit down. Roughly four hours ago. Didn¡¯t. Maybe I¡¯d pass out tonight? That¡¯d be glorious. But if I walked at night too, I would get there quicker.


    Rationally, I understood I was making myself disservice. Irrationally, existence was pain anyway and this wasn¡¯t even that bad yet. Heels might be getting a little raw from the permanently borrowed shoes, but that beat going barefoot. I was entirely Mr Optimistic today.


    I tripped over my own legs and fell. Didn¡¯t bother getting up. This felt good. I needed this. Nice, cool hug from the cracked up asphalt. I smooched it passionately, but that was far less rewarding than I¡¯ve imagined. Didn¡¯t have the energy to wipe all the sand off my mouth, not to mention spitting the grains out. Boy am I parched¡­ Hey, at least I¡¯ve brought cigarettes! Turned over onto my back, flipped off the sun and lit one up with nearly emptied matchbox.


    It¡­ didn¡¯t really help with my thirst. But for few seconds I got to not feel any of my limbs and that was as close to heaven as I¡¯d ever get. Well, there were hard drugs but Ruby beat any sweetness out of that candy. I need to get to him and dish out a slap so he¡¯d lie down and heal. I sat up and my head swam. Felt like vomiting.


    Horned monster stood several steps away and played a statue again. Blind fucker must be watching me, so I stared back at him too. Which turned out to be a mistake because it wasn¡¯t my synthetic fabric I wanted to run sweaty palms over. I rubbed my numb face to kick-start myself again.


    ¡°There¡¯s running water nearby,¡± low growl informed me and I almost let a groan escape too. I¡¯ve missed the timbre. Slapped my face. Universal cure for deliriousness. ¡°Drink yourself or I¡¯ll do it for you,¡± monster growled threateningly as if reading my intention to backtalk and be generally difficult.


    ¡°Where?¡± I croaked out, throat completely dry. I could have tried our patience, but I wasn¡¯t about that life anymore. Also I was very thirsty. Planning for excursions has never been my strong suit, but in my defence nobody has ever died from not drinking a little. Meanwhile tons did from inability to haul ass.


    In a mockery of human gestures monster raised an arm and pointed. I peeled eyes off the display to look at a vast meadow. It could be anywhere from few steps to all the way to the horizon. How close was nearby to a tireless monster? Hopefully not any further than that high voltage line. A massive shadow loomed right behind it.


    I got up and slunk out into the grass. It was slopping and horrible and I groaned. People invented roads for a reason. Something hopped around. Whether they were real frogs, I had no willpower to find out. I was devastated to find out the monster apocalypse did nothing to the bugs. There were clouds of gnats. Well, at least the fake frog population was probably happy. Or not. It didn¡¯t seem like anything was eating all these winged nuisances.


    There indeed was a quietly gurgling spring mere minutes into the detour. However, after the slow and careful slog through the bog, my muscles stiffened up and I felt like sitting down and resting. For the entire remaining day.


    If only I hadn¡¯t wasted all that time trying to escape and had gone straight back to the monster¡¯s town. I¡¯d probably be back home now.


    I got back onto the old road and kept on trudging. Head bent, stared at the slowly passing ground under my feet. Both fear and wonder have lost their lustre a while ago. I didn¡¯t have spare energy to watch the noisy apparitions or even dodge them if they decided on a late dinner. Not like I could have done anything if they came anyway. I was already doing my very the best.


    Nothing approached, perhaps the sight of a heavy-horned monster stopped some of the trouble before it began.


    I stepped over a shiny coin. Odd, but weirder things have happened. I was extremely tired, but my economic status made me halt and go back for it. It was a coin. Nobody made steel coins, so silver? That¡¯s impossibly rare and valuable. Lucky! Which made me immediately suspicious but a coin was a coin.


    ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± monster growled so strongly I froze bent over. I glowered whilst staring down at it, then schooled my expression. Fine. Monster¡¯s dinner probably didn¡¯t need money anymore anyway.


    My new master walked closer and stopped, one giant claw atop of the coin. His entire body immediately erupted in glassy spikes ¨C up the leg, skewered the coat, the thin branches stuck out from beneath and atop the hoodie. Horns all the way to the tips gleamed as though iced over.


    Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.


    I barely had time to hang open my jaw. This looked beyond bad. Each moment more of the spikes skewered surface, turning my companion into a massive wintery bush.


    ¡°Oh, shit!¡± I reached forward to start breaking them off ¨C if the creature still could be helped at all. He was so fucked.


    ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± another, grittier strong growl rooted me in place.


    ¡°Are you¡­ What do we do?¡± I asked just slightly bit worried. Perhaps his death would be my salvation, but this particular end was supposed to be mine. And it did not look pleasant.


    ¡°Nothing,¡± monster shrugged and cracked his neck, then then rest of the spine and started walking. His knees sounded like broken glass, as if crystal structures were breaking underneath. The spikes started falling. He seemed fine. Probably was. Demon wouldn¡¯t have stepped on a clear trap knowing that was detrimental to him. I sighed tiredly. Priest was right, he was a fucking show off. I did not need this right now.


    ¡°So, that was one of you guys?¡± I asked and got no reply. Huffed. I suppose it was only obvious.


    ¡°Why the fuck did it look like a coin?¡± There weren¡¯t even any people around. What a ridiculous camouflage. I chose to wilfully ignore my falling for it.


    ¡°It did not,¡± snarl replied and before I could argue that it really did, he explained, ¡°It tricked your brain to think it was.¡±


    ¡°What did it look like to you?¡± Just like that I descended into casual conversation with my oppressive captor. Again. I decided it wasn¡¯t insolent or even entertaining ¨C probably painfully basic and therefore annoying to the monster ¨C so was permissible. Beat rehashing same thee things in my mind over and over again, too.


    ¡°It didn¡¯t, because I¡¯ve no eyes.¡±


    I groaned inwardly. I forgot how painful to me it was to be trying to pry information out of this creature. Plan backfired, retreat!


    Still walking in front of me, he outstretched his human hand backwards to me. I was confused, but innate nature of the gesture made me reach for it with palm up. A coin plopped down. Metal. Shiny. Engravings and everything. Contours smudged and uneven. Looked fake as fuck.


    ¡°Are you making me hold something gross to make fun of my awesome human perception?¡± I did not hold back my scepticism. Not falling for that shit twice in a span of fifteen minutes.


    ¡°I guess we¡¯ll never know,¡± monster rasped and my upper lip curled in a scowl. I should just chuck it at his head, but that¡¯s not what obedient slaves did. Also he had proverbial eyes at the back of his head so I should stop grimacing every chance I got. Pocketed the gift like a good boy and rubbed my tired face.


    Having the monster¡¯s back in my face made my other major problem come to surface. The urge to touch wasn¡¯t going away. I clenched the jaw. It was clear as day ¨C he¡¯d done something to me. This was more than an attraction, because there could hardly be one at all with this alien thing. No, this felt more like withdrawal. Draw to repeat the high. And this inclination fell right under the malicious entity¡¯s jurisdiction.


    To say I was struggling was an understatement. I could somewhat disregard it before, especially with all the other matters pressing onto my plate, but this was right in front of me now. My impulse control was subpar on a good day and I normally wasn¡¯t one to restrain my urges in first place. That was more of a personality flaw than a professional hazard if I was being honest, but all of that was working against me now.


    I chewed on my lip aggressively to get my mind off it. Wasn¡¯t working. Concentrated on reasons why getting involved with this creature any further would be a bad idea.


    I hated him. This was just another arrogant bastard trying to rule over me. The craving could get worse. It would make it even easier for him to push me around¡­ but it¡¯s not like I could offer up much resistance anyhow.


    Most importantly, creature isn¡¯t human, why would I even want to go down that route? I would not be attracted to trout, no matter how it would feel¡­ right? Pin on that one for reluctant later consideration. I definitely did not need any more questionable traits.


    Eventually, the creature will end up dismembering and eating me ¨C not necessarily in that order, so why am I even considering this? Hold - shouldn¡¯t I be wringing out every last drop of joy I could while I could then? Scratch this part out, it doesn¡¯t belong.


    In any case, monster¡¯s human parts weren¡¯t even his. He already admitted to stealing some poor sap¡¯s boots along with the legs. Was it because he¡¯s got fetish for feet or just the worn shoes? Pin on this one too, something to be worked up to. You don¡¯t simply slam people with questions like this, that was plain rude.


    ¡°So¡­ whose arms are those?¡± I blurted out smoothly instead. The sun was leaning heavily towards the west. Perhaps I should just sleep.


    ¡°Mine,¡± he said unhelpfully and I held in a reaction. Great success.


    ¡°Very nice,¡± I complimented with as little sarcasm as possible. ¡°I can see you¡¯ve gotten into a lot of brawls with them. I personally wouldn¡¯t have thought punching monsters in the face does much damage.¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t,¡± horned menace confirmed and did not elaborate. I did not enjoy the taste of my own medicine. My housemates would love this. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with them?¡± Monster asked after I gave up and piped down.


    What an odd question. Hands were hands. ¡°The hands? Nothing. They¡¯re fine,¡± I said casually admiring some poor dead man¡¯s severed limbs.


    ¡°Yet you can clearly tell they don¡¯t belong,¡± monster hissed in the wind.


    Air left me in a big whoosh. Well, he wasn¡¯t wrong. Even besides the glaringly obvious reasons¡­


    ¡°You don¡¯t look like someone who¡¯d do a lotta punching or would bother evading a haymaker. You¡¯re far too still. You¡¯d strangle, or just knife people,¡± I explained and fell quiet upon realising he wasn¡¯t a human, so he would not be doing any of those things. Did that even make sense to him?


    Another glance downwards told me he had gleamed something from the tirade. It was an entirely different limb. I scooped it up to examine closer. The fingers were scarless and stubby. Strong. Perhaps he¡¯d assumed strangling needs physical strength. The way he¡¯d do it ¨C probably. One-handedly.


    ¡°Longer fingers. Thinner,¡± I said and it changed again. Slightly too elegant for the dirty job, but he pulled off arrogant upper-class bastard flawlessly anyway. A shiver threatened to run down my back as I realised I was holding onto him. Let go. ¡°Not that it matters. Why are you even bothering to appear human? Especially with such minute details.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m yet to successfully imitate your kind. Somehow you can always tell,¡± monster whispered.


    I finally permitted myself to snort. ¡°Nobody¡¯s gonna mistake you for a human with that amazing rack.¡±


    He turned as if to look at me and I gasped. Then tripped, stopped and gaped some more. He ceased walking as well and turned to me fully. There was no crown of bone, no hood either. Short hair in the colour of ivory framed a face which looked back at me. Stared. Bore into my soul. The tense eyes jumped to my every twitch, and the intensity was unsettling. Languid blinking did nothing to dissuade the predatory impression.


    There were traces of some kind of expression on it, but I couldn¡¯t tell what it was supposed to convey. It didn¡¯t help that it didn¡¯t shift at all, fixed in all the wrong places. Nose was flattened from being broken multiple times, but he wasn¡¯t ugly. Injury just gave the person an edge. But definitely not someone I¡¯d hit up for spare change.


    ¡°Is this¡­ who the hands¡­ used to belong to?¡± I asked quietly, putting unnecessary amount of thought into phrasing.


    The stranger smiled and I completely understood why creature was failing to blend in. It wasn¡¯t overly wide, toothy, nor sinister. Something was just off, even more so than when he did nothing with it. He stopped, as if noticing my reaction and said, ¡°It¡¯s why we use mouths to do human things.¡±


    Puzzling expression went slack with surprise and the baffled stranger blinked rapidly couple of times. The face contorted into panic and turmoil. He looked around, crazed eyes finally letting my image slip from their captivity. I doubt he¡¯d even seen me, being so frantic and dealing with all this new information. He was muttering something that sounded hell of a lot like nononono. Man¡¯s brows knitted into easily combustible outrage. It was a real human. Really unhappy, confused scrapper that towered me. My scrawny self started feeling quite blue all of a sudden as well.


    Oof. What was I supposed to do with this brute in my path? He ate wimps like me for breakfast and not in the way I¡¯d like. I stepped to the side as slowly as I dared and his delirious eyes affixed upon me. Well, fuck.


    I made finger guns at him and said, ¡°Good talk. Bye.¡± Walked big circle around the fellow. His hand grabbed my elbow from way too far away and so hard there would definitely be a bruise if not an entire crack. I kept the emotions out of my face - best not to trigger any predatory instincts.


    ¡°Wait. What did I say?¡± man croaked with heavy accent.


    Fuck. He was scary in a deranged, unpredictable and very violent way. Strange I did not feel like that about the monster at all. The latter was hands down entire new level of terrifying, but the stillness lulled my sense of danger. The demon put a lot of effort into his act. And fuck. I kind of wanted him back.


    ¡°Nothing, man. I just asked for directions.¡±


    ¡°Am I supposed to go there too?¡± the twitchy madman muttered, as confused as me. ¡°Where are you going again?¡±


    ¡°Away?¡± I struggled against the hold but there was no give, just pain. And more was coming ¨C stranger raised his bruised up fist to smack me but fingers had unclenched and cupped my cheek instead. Pain dissipated and the other hand let go of me. My heartbeat calmed way too quickly and I stepped away to escape the touch. He flushed my fear but now anger was rising.


    ¡°Stop messing with my body,¡± I snarled.


    ¡°I upset you and I fixed it,¡± man with a stiff expression informed me.


    ¡°No! No, you didn¡¯t! That¡¯s not how that works!¡± Exhibit A ¨C I was still quite upset.


    ¡°You wanted to be stressed?¡±


    ¡°Brother, ain¡¯t nothing about this situation is relaxing! Rubbing two braincells together won¡¯t make it feel okay!¡± Regardless of my plans and intentions, I snapped at him again. I could not suffer this injustice in quiet any longer. How foolish. Not like this would change anything.


    Monster stared at me blankly with puzzling human face. ¡°You know it will,¡± he spoke in a gravely low voice and extended a hand for me to hold on to. I knew exactly what he was implying. There probably were several ways which would make me forget where I am whatsoever, but I had specifically decided to not be falling for his chemical trap.


    I slapped his offered palm away. ¡°No, you smug asshole! And undo whatever you¡¯ve already done to me.¡±


    ¡°Do you really want your charred body back?¡± the cold reminder of who exactly I was talking to slapped me in the face again. Behave, behave, I told myself. Check your shitty attitude. Fuck. I had to keep it together for two more days. It¡¯s all going to end in me soundlessly screaming on the church lawn, but I can definitely stave it off for that long. Ruby deserves that much.


    ¡°No. I¡¯m sorry,¡± I whispered meekly and turned away from the tense face I couldn¡¯t read. Silence was heavy. Might as well have one last smoke. Lit the cig, took a drag and held my breath.


    ¡°You ingest the smoke to calm down, killing your cells in the process. How is that better?¡±


    I exhaled. ¡°We don¡¯t live long anyway. What¡¯s the harm?¡± I, for example, was already living on borrowed time. The demon prolonged my suffering at least twice.


    ¡°You humans seethe aimless violence,¡± he said and I was not smart enough to figure out what he wanted me to do about that. Concentrate it onto certain someone¡¯s face? Tempting, but not my style. Self-destruction was much more up to par.


    Creature didn¡¯t seem pissed off, so I dared to voice some misgivings, ¡°Take that face off. That guy¡¯s an asshole.¡±


    ¡°You wanted to meet him.¡±


    ¡°Nnnno. I wanted you to tell me about him.¡±


    ¡°Words are up for interpretation. This was quicker and more informative.¡±


    Yeah, I doubt monster would have described the guy as an unstable lunatic. ¡°Are they all like that?¡± I whispered quietly. Am I going to go mad in there? Duh. I was barely holding it together on a good day.


    I exhaled deeply, watching him pull up the leathery hood. I realised he was using human gestures on purpose. I hadn¡¯t thought about it before, but he would probably need to masquerade in the city. That had to be daunting. Especially since he was smart enough to know he absolutely sucked at it.


    ¡°Did you want to practise passing for a human? ¡®Cause we can, I just¡­¡± hated looking at that murderous man¡¯s face while talking to him? Something of that sort. ¡°¡­ Didn¡¯t like that guy.¡±


    Monster shook his horned head.


    This smoke was far less potent than the previous, so I doubled the effort to consume it. Started walking again. My feet and heels felt less raw. I frowned.

 9 R 2

    The sky was cumulating mean-looking clouds on one side. The night is going to be fun. I started looking out for a dumped car with at least some intact windows. There were a lot of rust buckets strewn around in various states of decay, oldest probably dating to the start of monster invasion. Or maybe not? I had no way of knowing for sure, but the nostalgic old-timers made everything before that seem so great and pristine that I was conditioned to think so. This junk heap had clear teeth marks by its missing half, so perhaps they weren¡¯t wrong.


    Contemplating lost civilisations was a terrible distraction. It had nothing to do with me. I lit up another cigarette, took a drag and pressed fingers onto my eyes. Being docile was such a drag. I continuously failed to keep myself in check with such a permissive master.


    ¡°What do you even want with me, really?¡± my frantic thoughts spilled out. ¡°What the fuck did you mean by a pet? This is clearly not a sex thing ¡®cause you¡¯re puritanically predisposed, nor do you make ridiculous demands of me to prop your ego up. So, what? What is it you want me to do?¡±


    I didn¡¯t turn to grill him with a stare because there was no point. He wouldn¡¯t even understand the gesture. There was nothing to see either. Monster showed what he wanted others to see. He probably won¡¯t even reply, but the very long leash he¡¯s given me permitted me to mouth off and some days it was hard to hold it all in.


    A growl lazily ticked away until he finally deemed it a reasonable time to reply, ¡°You humans keep animals as pets disregarding their wishes all the time, yet it somehow is an unfathomable concept to you? I will protect and care for you; you need not do anything.¡±


    I thought at best he¡¯d slap me with some non-answer, misunderstand or just play dumb, so an actual explanation kind of floored me. I sucked on my stress-relieving stick. It was just that. Plain interspecies hostage situation. Cat in a window. Dog on a leash. Fish in a bowl.


    Relief flooded me. Laughed sincerely for the first time in weeks. Held onto my knees lest I¡¯d just turn liquid from this complete and total relaxation.


    He¡¯d meant it so literally.


    My warped mind was only circling darkest connotations of the word and waited for the worst. People of power and means in the manor have been turning us into dehumanized items to be abused and disposed of on a whim - but this wasn¡¯t it at all. This I can actually do and not want to retch. He wasn¡¯t a harsh master. The leash was long, enough to delude myself into feeling free. Was I being unrealistic? Very likely, but boy needed a little gaslighting to get through his day.


    I shook my head and straightened out after gathering my wits together. Monster has stopped as well and had even turned to face me. He had no reason for the gesture hence it made it seem as though he thought I was having a thorough mental breakdown and was unsure what to do about it.


    I smiled at him, still feeling the high of the ninth cloud. ¡°So you¡¯re not gonna make me into a mouth that lives on and on and never dies? Because, you know, nobody turns pets into body parts ¨C I wouldn¡¯t sew an entire cat to my butt and parade around. That¡¯d be just weird. ¡±


    ¡°Why do you not want to live on? A lot of humans asked me to remove this limitation of your form,¡± monster wondered and I did not miss lack of the other answer.


    I rolled my eyes - how contrary of him. Would be easier for everybody if he just took those who wanted to live forever. Win-win. ¡°I¡¯ve had enough, thanks,¡± I said.


    It started drizzling and I got moving again. There were no conveniently placed shacks anywhere in the overgrown fields and cars have all seen better days. Oh well, I haven¡¯t planned on sleeping tonight anyway. Monster must have fiddled with my exhaustion too because I wasn¡¯t feeling nearly as depleted as I should be. Slogging through muddy pools will be an absolute nightmare regardless. The roads weren¡¯t what they used to be and missing entirely in some sections. Plants reigned supreme. The odd metallic pillar here and there still informed me to look for fallen road signs whenever I could. Some were even propped up to be properly seen by a rare traveller. How unexpectedly kind.


    Water stopped annoying my nose but I still heard it fall. Raised my eyes and found monster¡¯s arm up, the sleeve stretching to make a roof over my head. I grinned like a fool and said, ¡°Thanks.¡±


    It¡¯s not like I haven¡¯t been promised the world before - plenty of clients did that. But pretending felt nice. Cherry would have tried to check my ears each time I¡¯d fake believe all these lies the boys told me. And now she was dead.


    ¡°Why did you not help me at the douche manor?¡± I spat out the accusation.


    ¡°I did,¡± he said. And technically he was correct. When I didn¡¯t need it anymore. My frame of mind soured further. Yes, I was entirely a moody bitch on a swing today.


    ¡°Earlier. Before that,¡± I ground out through my teeth.


    ¡°Did you want me to?¡±


    I was disarmed and all my thoughts derailed. Did I?


    I wasn¡¯t expecting him to. He had no obligation there either. Did I hope for it? Did I want for literally anybody to pretend to give a shit? Yeah, obviously. Did I for a second think that would happen? No. Such sad state of affairs. And he wondered why I was done with living. The audacity.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t need help. You¡¯re quite the wildfire,¡± monster finished his thought. The underhanded praise doused some of my anger.


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    He was still being a suspicious fuck. ¡°What were you doing there anyway?¡±


    ¡°I smelled you nearby after explicitly placing you in safety. I came in to find out why you¡¯d go back.¡± Alright, well, if you put it like that I wouldn¡¯t have helped the dumb hoe either.


    ¡°Nobody has really asked me,¡± I grumbled and kept eyeing the horned monster suspiciously. The lords knew this particular monster enough to not panic. There was serious lack of gunfire too, considering how fortified the place has been. ¡°And what were you doing nearby?¡±


    ¡°I searched where you came from.¡±


    ¡°Well, not there,¡± I still grumbled but found myself at a lack of reasonable things to be pissed off about. All of this could still be crock of shit, of course.


    I slogged through wet grass and more often than not stepped into the puddle in the absolute dark. Hefty clouds made night fall so much quicker. Was I even on the road anymore? Sky in front of me was brighter, signalling I was on a right track at least. City still shone like the sun at night.


    The cover he¡¯s given me from the rain was far too sweet a gesture to not get to my head. I could not stop overthinking it. I wanted there to be some scent too, something to envelop me without touching but I was on my stinky lonesome. I contemplated diving headfirst into one of the puddles.


    The proximity was driving me mad. I didn¡¯t see the surroundings very well, so more often than not I¡¯d stumble and grip the monster for stability. My hand lingered each time against my express wishes. Not long, just enough to beat myself up over.


    Come on, stupid, don¡¯t make it weird. We¡¯d just established boundaries and I was perfectly happy not being a sentient sex toy for once.


    Perhaps my wishes to touch him weren¡¯t a purposeful conditioning, but a pleasant memory instead. Just like I kept on hoping, expecting, looking forward to finding more leftovers in a certain house¡¯s trash. I was now aware of an extremely pleasurable reprieve and knew exactly where to find it. I¡¯ll get over it. Just like I eventually stopped dumpster diving.


    Cadence of rain changed. It sounded like it fell on tin somewhere. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± I asked corking my head and trying to find the source. ¡°There.¡±


    Something started glowing in an eerie neon in front of the monster and floated away towards the sound. I tried to see what he¡¯d done but was blind as a bat. Could only observe what he let me see. Grumbling, concentrated on blocky shape instead and was delighted to find that it was a van. A wide roof and possibly a cushy seat or two to nap in. I squealed and ran for it. Fought with the rusted up door and after few good whacks eventually won. Take that, inanimate objects!


    Fell inside. The front was wrecked and a tree decorated interior, but it smelled dry. I stomped towards the back. A breeze told me some other window was missing here too, but the angle must have been just right to keep the elements out.


    I fell into a chair and melted. Ahhh, it was so good to sit down. In all honesty, I had no idea how will I ever get up to resume the march. Everything was sore.


    ¡°You not coming in?¡± I asked after a while.


    ¡°No. Water doesn¡¯t bother me,¡± sea monster replied and I shut up dejectedly. I had forgotten again. He would probably not hear very well from inside of this loud tin and that would be a bother. How fundamentally different they were.


    I bent down to untie my shoes and spilled unfair amount of liquid from one of them. Rested them upturned, but wasn¡¯t holding my breath for dryness. This would be uncomfortable and painful tomorrow. I had no hope socks would do any better either but after excessive wringing they joined the armrest nearby too.


    ¡°I smell blood,¡± monster growled from the outside. ¡°Do you need me to heal you?¡±


    I huffed. Probably. My heels did not want to be prodded. ¡°Boy, do not sugar-coat it. That¡¯s the least of what you can smell,¡± I grumbled and monster had not commented on the state of my griminess. I wasn¡¯t normally that self-conscious of a little sweat, being street kid and all, but the creature could and apparently did catch a whiff of me leagues away. That did things to self-confidence.


    I might have heard sloshing footsteps outside and huffed tiredly, ¡°It¡¯s fine, just a minor scuff. Leave it alone.¡±


    I removed two remaining cigarettes from a chest pocket and put them and the matches safely away. Fingered the coin or whatever else it was in the pocket as I lied down to rest. It sure was chilly, especially with pants still partially dripping. All too familiar state of existence, I was just missing a warm back shivering against mine... Do I even have the luxury to rest? He was probably trying to break into certain high-end estates for information and revenge.


    Monster¡¯s growl changed and it discontinued my brooding. I tensed up and asked, ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°I smell somebody. They know we¡¯re here too.¡± I noted he didn¡¯t say hear. It was something my monster couldn¡¯t observe. The air trembled as if a gigantic hand swatted at a moon.


    My leash holder¡¯s growl was starting to rock the ground too and the dead of the night was growing even more terrifying. I remembered how much I hated being outside. Exposed and powerless. People weren¡¯t even supposed to be here. I wanted to be back in civilisation, behind thick walls and numerous weapons.


    I muttered, ¡°I really should have showered.¡±


    ¡°It objects to my presence, not yours.¡±


    It talks. A reasonable ginormous monstrosity. I can work with that. ¡°Let¡¯s go. Uh¡­ tell it to give me a moment.¡± I fumbled around for the shoes. There were just the dry leaves.


    ¡°Sleep. It won¡¯t do a thing,¡± the demon rasped smugly.


    ¡°You know, I like pancakes but I do not aspire to become one. And bold of you to think I could even sleep now,¡± I whisper-shouted out of the window, but did cease looking for the shoes. The absolute confidence had a calming effect. The outside had strong fleshy odour and one of thunder. The monsters must have had serious heart-to-heart.


    ¡°You¡¯ve slept next to much worse before,¡± growls hissed back at me and sounded mocking, but the volume and reverberating ground was highly worrisome anyway. Dread was consuming my moves. Something very large was out there. My bones knew that, even if eyes saw nothing. Scratch that, there was a shape in the clouds.


    ¡°If you¡¯re implying yourself, you need to remember all those other monsters which thought the same and died in your damn maw. Arrogance kills people and I¡¯ve places to be tomorrow. Stop intimidating the nice giant and let¡¯s just leave,¡± I pointed out through my panic.


    ¡°Readily accessible mass isn¡¯t everything. It knows. That¡¯s why it won¡¯t come close. Don¡¯t worry, it¡¯s old and wise.¡±


    Something brushed my face and I flinched, but it was a familiar touch and I didn¡¯t fall back. Sat down in the dilapidated seat and leaned onto the car frame. Some droplets were landing on my face, but that quickly ceased too.


    ¡°Why do you all come out at night?¡± I grumbled into the darkness. It would be far less scary if I could see what was coming at me. Not each and every time, because I¡¯m sure the incomprehensible organisms would still freak me the fuck out, but it would be nice to at least see what was coming.


    ¡°Safer to move. This world¡¯s predators are active during the day.¡±


    Huh?


    ¡°Us? You mean us? Humans.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°You¡­ Are afraid? Of us?¡± What a mind-blowing concept.


    ¡°You are very vicious organism, capable of destroying worlds. Luckily for all the rest of us, you started with your own.¡±


    ¡°Yes, yes. Thank you,¡± I nodded with an upturned nose as befitting an inter-dimensional ambassador. ¡°Assistance of you monsters is much obliged.¡± I said it in a jest, with no venom behind the words. Things were what they were, there absolutely was no point lamenting the what ifs. To begin with, monsters were a very recent development in my life.


    ¡°That only reinforces what I¡¯ve said. Separate humans die easy, but when you band together as a singular organism you¡¯re a vicious threat. It¡¯s rare for different constructions to cooperate to such an extent.¡±


    I felt that this was intended to be a compliment, but all I got from it was that he saw me as a mitochondria.


    ¡°So even we can kill that?¡± I pointed for the blind man yet again. I needed to stop.


    ¡°It¡¯s hard to ignore boiling within a crater,¡± horned monster offered and even the slow child like myself could see some sense. The military had some serious hardware.


    Speaking of dangers. ¡°Why are you even growling all the time? I get that you need to see, but why not y¡¯know¡­ have eyes?¡±


    ¡°Sight is very limiting. I can hardly comprehend how nearly all species over here exist with such fatal flaw.¡±


    ¡°Um, because it¡¯s not a flaw?¡± I argued very eloquently.


    ¡°You can¡¯t even look at other human¡¯s both eyes at the same time,¡± monster said petulantly and I wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of this statement. Then imagined a person right in front of me and found my gaze jumping back and forth between the eyes, or just fixing on the nose. Hm. Peculiar finding. Change tactic.


    ¡°But making noise all the damn time is just asking to be attacked.¡±


    ¡°And it is therefore a warning.¡±


    He was making good points all around. At least one of us here had all his shit figured out.

 10 R 1

    I woke up with a start and smacked both knees into a corner. Cursed. My back was stiff, since I slept half-seated and all contorted. Wiped drool off my chin and stretched. I felt rested. Nothing hurt or was aching even remotely. That was immediately suspicious and I checked my heels. The evidence was clear as day.


    I didn¡¯t need it ¨C would crawl into the city on raw knees if need be; I didn¡¯t like it ¨C I had little say when it came to my body far too often. I sighed, swallowing the urge to make a big deal out of it. There would be no point anyway. Experience told me neither him nor the humans of similar character listened to plea of ants beneath them.


    I breathed out, grinning. If this was part of the suspicious ownership package, it was comparably tolerable. People had done worse to me. Getting healed against my wishes certainly did not remotely compare.


    I picked my shit up and clambered out into the muck. My still unpleasantly damp footwear immediately began collecting water anew, with a vigour that I didn¡¯t feel. At least some of us were enthusiastic this morning. I slurped at the fleshly settled water on the crinkled car door. Freezing insides along with the toes were just the thing to get spry and fully awake.


    However, my day¡¯s ordeals have only began.


    ¡°Eat,¡± monster outstretched an arm with¡­ a raw, plucked chicken leg. Just like from the shop. It looked great in all honesty and my stomach rumbled angrily, but I looked around with mistrust.


    ¡°Where¡¯s the rest of it?¡± I asked finding no trace of butchering.


    More materialised and the stomach churned in a different way. My lips twisted until I finally managed to say, ¡°You want me to eat you?¡±


    Why? Is there a reason? Is this a monster thing? Is that normal or does it mean something? Would I be on the menu afterwards? Million options swirled through my mind, but this curveball dropped into my lap far too unexpectedly. My confusion was still in free-fall.


    ¡°You dislike when I inject nutrients directly into your bloodstream, so put them there yourself.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s raw,¡± I protested. Does it need to be cooked since it wasn¡¯t a real bird? Or did he recreate whatever made it dangerous to consume undercooked too? No no, that wasn¡¯t even the problem here. If that lump of meat got cooked, would he feel it? Would he even be okay about that? The whole situation was making me opposite of hungry. ¡°Hang on, I am not cooking you anyway. Not eating you either! What the hell?¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s the problem?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ don¡¯t know exactly. You¡¯re sentient? That¡­ doesn¡¯t feel right.¡±


    ¡°I consume organisms far more elaborate than me all the time.¡±


    ¡°And that is why one of us is a monster and the other is not,¡± I said like a complete douche but felt the sentiment more than ever before. Not my proudest moment.


    ¡°What do you think you¡¯ve been ingesting all the time I fed you anyway?¡±


    Gulp. Urk. I honestly avoided thinking about it thus far and I would have done great not knowing in the future.


    I felt anger rising again. This is why I fucking didn¡¯t want it. Bypassing stomach altogether was not only innately disgusting, but I had no idea what was going on with me that way anymore. I didn¡¯t already ¨C he restored and fixed me left and right. Was I slowly becoming a creature? Was it even important to me to be human? I didn¡¯t know and I didn¡¯t want to find out. Didn¡¯t want to think about it. This was never supposed to be on the table for me. Everything was so damn confusing. I felt panic and rage twist inside me and go to the same place they always wind up at. A dead-end.


    ¡°Just do it the quick way. Your family¡¯s much coveted deeply unfried recipes need some work,¡± I waved nonchalantly to hurry him up and waited. Mystery meat got reabsorbed back into monster¡¯s long fingered hand and he plodded forward, mud doing nothing to impede the approach. Monster touched me on the cheek yet again and there was no wetness or smell of raw poultry to prove it was ever there. His palm was warmer than my skin and within seconds I felt my fingertips defrost too. Was the blood even mine anymore? Did it matter?


    It did. I only ever had tiny bits of myself to begin with. That was all I had. He may have tried to be accommodating but I wanted to retch.


    ¡°Why are you upset?¡±


    ¡°Preposterous idea. Such a fine morning. Why would I be?¡± I beamed at the blind demon, but had a suspicion my charms weren¡¯t working on someone whose fingers burrowed under my skin like roots. I felt them there. It wasn¡¯t a tender caress, not now and not even once before. Never when this inhuman thing was concerned. He was just plunging himself into my depths, plucking some things out and leaving other behind. Deciding for me. Reading my innermost feelings, bypassing all these walls I¡¯ve worked all my life to construct.


    ¡°I can alter your chemical balance and force you into compliance. I can just sift through your brain myself. Or you could just tell me.¡± Do as I tell you or I¡¯ll beat it out of you.


    ¡°Ah, yes. A calming, therapeutic threats. Very novel approach,¡± I smiled and then rubbed my face tiredly, dislodging the invasive touch which clung just a moment too long as if sticky. I pressed on my eyes. Chewed my lip bloody. Nothing helped. This wasn¡¯t a fever dream. I was still here, sinking in the muck figuratively and literally.


    Was this time to take a stand? Just swallow the bullet and dare the monster to do his worst? I wanted to, but that would not be the end. That was the terrifying fact of my new reality. He would and the horrors would never stop. I had places to be.


    I put hand to my heart and sniffled, ¡°I am a vegetarian and the sight of animal parts was very unsettling.¡± Then I turned and attempted to walk away, but my stuck shoe informed me we had some other plans.


    ¡°You are not squeamish,¡± growl right behind me made me feel as if I was about to be eaten. The timbre wasn¡¯t any different than usual but my frayed nerves registered unknown predator behind me. Not the greatest of feelings. I shuddered violently.


    ¡°You are disproportionately stressed. About as much as in presence of those upper-class humans. Why?¡± Demon at my back demanded in a vicious growl again.


    A bit of an overreaction on my part, but unsurprising, seeing as I was still trapped by monsters and got violated willy-nilly. I froze up in a realisation. He knew somehow what I felt back there. He knew. Of course. That¡¯s what the writhing skin carpet was for. And he did nothing. Since this was a given, I wasn¡¯t even disappointed.


    Subterfuge was not working so I gave up and sneered condescendingly, ¡°I sell my body, not the soul. You¡¯re not entitled to know my feelings.¡±


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    ¡°I don¡¯t want your body. And I can force you to have any feeling I like,¡± monster threatened offhandedly again. His growl went on, ¡°And whilst I can just extract the information, I don¡¯t want to ruin you. I enjoy experiencing you. So tell me.¡±


    I was but a science experiment. A twisted suicidal maniac to psychoanalyse in the spare time. I forced out a smile.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you say talking is inefficient? Just do your flesh magic and leave me alone,¡± muttered, lighting up a cigarette.


    ¡°Alone you will die,¡± creature said as though it was a problem.


    My fiery psyche was suddenly all spent and exhausted. The threats, the actions and implications left me hollow. ¡°Will you even understand it? It¡¯s just human issues, boring ones too.¡±


    ¡°No. It¡¯s why I rather you explain it.¡±


    I squeezed my eyes shut and wished to not be here.


    ¡°Remove your hood,¡± I demanded in a spur of the moment. If he wanted my secrets I¡¯d at least get his in return.


    The probing growl ticked on and it felt like I scored a point. He then extended a hand for me to take. I didn¡¯t and he spoke, ¡°I want to know how it makes you feel.¡±


    I rolled my eyes and took the damned hand. With the other, he pulled the imitation of a hood backwards. Seeing a crook in place of a head didn¡¯t feel real. Everything I knew rejected the sight witnessed by my own eyes. This felt like I was dreaming. I gaped at the impossible malformation, torn between wanting to touch to make sure it¡¯s real and cover it up, pretending this has never happened.


    Avoiding the delicate hearing apparatus I ran a finger through a thicker band just before the peculiar organ split into two.


    ¡°You¡¯re not scared. And no longer even upset,¡± he commented. Truly enough, I was mesmerised. No wonder he couldn¡¯t fake an expression. There was nothing to work with here. The monsters really didn¡¯t need anything remotely resembling a face.


    I shrugged, tugging my hand away. Started slowly trudging towards where the pavement ought to have been.


    Spoke eventually, ¡°It¡¯s a human thing. We don¡¯t eat one another unless something went terribly wrong.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not human,¡± two-pronged headless being said and accentuated, ¡°I¡¯m a monster.¡± I could have sworn he was making fun of me.


    ¡°Human enough to me,¡± I shrugged and pursed my lips. ¡°No offence?¡±


    ¡°Is that why you¡¯re so unafraid of me?¡±


    Wow, I must be on top of my game today at least in some areas. This creature was by far most terrifying thing in my existence. A cruel god which forbade me to die. ¡°You¡¯re a monster. And I guess I¡¯m used to dealing with such.¡±


    ¡°That wasn¡¯t what got you worked up,¡± cloaked demon snarled after a while as though he¡¯d been patiently waiting for me to go on all that time.


    Of course flimsy excuses wouldn¡¯t make him drop it. I sighed deeply and reached for some other lie which could potentially pass for truth. After all, everything can get used against me. As benevolent as this creature appeared right now, I¡¯ve seen him discontinue the people under his care without qualms.


    ¡°Hey, why did you kill the girl? The one from when we met,¡± I dared to wonder out loud.


    There was no hesitation in the answer, ¡°She asked me to take care of her for the rest of her life.¡±


    ¡°So you did what? Drastically shortened it?¡±


    ¡°Essentially.¡±


    Well, this did not come as a surprise to me. And yet, the betrayal of that youthful naivety left a bitter pang in my chest.


    ¡°Fantastic. In two days we¡¯ll have that exact conversation,¡± I informed Mister Literal.


    ¡°We may have any conversation you like, but the result will not be the same.¡±


    It sounded truthful even to my jaded ears and as much comfort as cruel honesty offered, that outcome did not inspire confidence either.


    ¡°Why?¡± I asked with some degree of annoyance.


    ¡°You amuse me far too much to waste.¡±


    ¡°Amuse,¡± I spat out utterly mirthless.


    ¡°She was but a lost child, unable to even fathom things coming her way. It would have been cruel to let her experience them. After all, I had no intention to safeguard her.¡±


    ¡°What a humanitarian,¡± I bit out sarcastically but was actually fully on board with the philosophy. I wish somebody had gently offed me when I first ended up on the streets.


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t dare to call it so. After all, humane killing is specialty of your species,¡± monster from hell dimension ridiculed the irony played by words.


    I rolled my eyes, unimpressed. ¡°So, why are you being oh so cruel towards me?¡±


    ¡°Because it is in my power to make it so nothing cruel will ever befall you again,¡± monster in a cloak guaranteed as though it was nothing. Had it come from a human I would have simply dismissed, but this ageless being? It was probably well within its power. I almost wanted to believe the baseless claim.


    ¡°But why? What¡¯s the fucking difference between me and the girl?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re young for your species but cagey enough to seem to have lived several lifetimes,¡± he ticked thoughtfully. ¡°It is rare.¡±


    Overtaken by incredulity I scoffed, ¡°As much as I want to imagine I had it rough, there¡¯s an entire city dead ahead where most of the inhabitants had world fall apart on them quite literally.¡±


    Everyone was haunted and bitter, my defeatism hadn¡¯t remotely approached those who have seen the old world. I was of firm belief humans weren¡¯t meant to live that long. Thirty had to be solid enough time to firmly come into the peak of existence and experience only gradual decline afterwards. Granted, it came little earlier into my life but I merely got a firm head start.


    ¡°Oblivious humans who hide behind the walls and pretend nothing has changed. Terrified humans who can¡¯t stand the sight of me. Arrogant humans who presume to be my equals. Fools who think they¡¯re perfectly safe behind barrel of a weapon¡­ They¡¯re all the same. Common.¡±


    I looked off at the horizon blankly. The curse of being too good at the job and getting more of it. He liked that I was none of those and instead a mouthy suicidal madman. It wasn¡¯t unlike the situation with geezers from the manor. The lord has seen something unusual and coveted it, locked me up and claimed as his.


    ¡°You do understand you¡¯re the one making me miserable, right? You¡¯re the something cruel you claim to want to fend off.¡±


    ¡°And I am asking you why that is,¡± he hissed back. ¡°You¡¯re not trapped. You¡¯re healthy. Safe. We¡¯re doing what you asked.¡±


    Was I massively overreacting? I stared at the horns through a squint. I suppose the threats were merely polite reminders, as the ancient being could just swat nuisances away. He certainly didn¡¯t bother with reminders before disfiguring the sad sap at the church¡¯s front gate. Perhaps he was trying to be caring ¡­ or something of the monster equivalent.


    I chose to reveal small part of the truth. Just enough so he¡¯d get off my back. ¡°You change me. Bit by bit. Little things. You do something to my blood and I am no longer hungry. Muscles are not aching after all that walking. You wave your hand and my emotions change. It¡¯s unnatural. It shouldn¡¯t be like this¡­¡±


    Monster ticked on¡­ expectantly? Judgmentally? Air was getting heavier. There go his delusions of a fearless wonder boy. Perhaps I can smash them all altogether and he¡¯d kill me at the end of speech. Floodgates were opening regardless.


    ¡°And then there¡¯s big ones. The cheek, hands, twisted bones, missing teeth, old scars¡­ Everything¡¯s mended perfectly, like new. I am no longer diseased, as if I didn¡¯t spend my entire life licking plagues off most disturbing surfaces to get by. Ears are no longer pierced... Did Lime even prick them or did I imagine it? Was he ever here at all? I¡¯ve nothing of him¡­ And there¡¯s nothing to attest to the things I went through. It¡¯s like this body is not mine anymore.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re unhappy that you¡¯re better?¡±


    He was just not getting it.


    ¡°I¡¯m unhappy to not be me anymore! You manipulate flesh like a TV, how can I ever be sure I am who I think I am, and not just some miserable idiot you¡¯ve dreamed up and brought to life for your entertainment?¡± It was a legitimate worry, even if not the most prominent one. I didn¡¯t need to work hard to sell it.


    The growl hitched with purposeful indignant annoyance as he said, ¡°Rearranging human brain which I don¡¯t even care to understand in general terms would be tedious and unnecessary when there¡¯s billions of you to choose from.¡±


    Ah, yes. I guess there¡¯s that. I wasn¡¯t special enough for all that effort. Nothing like a good old-fashioned ego check to lay my worries to rest.


    ¡°I shall not interfere with your body if you take care of it ¨C but I will be around to make sure you will live long¡­ Eventually you¡¯ll beg me to give you more time and turn you into something more.¡±


    I eyed the patronising monster, ¡°So, what? You¡¯ll just hang around in the city, watching?¡±


    ¡°Would you believe I have a lot of time and very little to do?¡± monster replied with a hint of teasing.


    There were a lot of issues logistically speaking, but my very recently unclenched gut didn¡¯t panic at the thought. It would be useful to have more muscle guarding our home. It would be hard to explain away the occasional meaty scarecrow at our front door, but I didn¡¯t hate the idea at all. There was no scale by which I could judge alien creature correctly, but going by interactions thus far¡­ perhaps he wasn¡¯t the jerk I assumed him to be. Murderous, sure, but who wasn¡¯t?


    I grinned at this demon and felt shitty for all the attitude. ¡°Sorry,¡± I muttered as though to myself but there was no chance he couldn¡¯t hear. ¡°I¡¯ll try to be more patient with monster related hang-ups.¡±


    ¡°Mmm¡­ In that case you¡¯ll really have to go vegetarian.¡±


    ¡°What?! Why? You eat people all the time!¡±


    ¡°Cooking is gross,¡± monster rumbled and I turned to gape at him with righteous outrage. I found the shoulders relaxed and head tilted as though he¡¯d just told a joke. He did, didn¡¯t he?


    ¡°Asshat,¡± said and punched his bicep. Mood patched itself up without warning. It helped that monster apparently held no grudges or had none of his own instability to add to the dumpster fire. Having emotional capacity of a rock had its upsides. ¡°If you plan to stick around people you really might want to practise more of that,¡± I gestured abstractly towards his upper body.


    ¡°Please. I¡¯ve had millenniums of practise.¡±


    Groundless superiority strikes again. Well, not entirely groundless but evidence suggested that humans excelled in this one field. ¡°So why are you so shit at it?¡± I threw back in same tone.


    ¡°Unfortunately, your kind spent all that time evolving to tell apart predators that appear human,¡± demon grumbled.


    ¡°It¡¯s not that hard,¡± I lectured grinning wide. ¡°Just say you¡¯ve got facial paralysis. Less is more. Oh! Channel Priest.¡± Great advice, all in all, but I hastily added, ¡°Not literally.¡±


    ¡°It will be fine,¡± overconfident monster assured groundlessly and rang all my alarm bells. I briefly wondered if his baseline fine involved heaps of dead witnesses - all to save face he did not even have.


    I let it go and covertly stared sideways instead. Things could rarely be taken at face value, but if he was to be believed, this coat hanger creature was really going way out of his way to ensure I didn¡¯t get kidnapped again ¨C not something I ever thought I¡¯d have to worry about in my thus far quite unwanted life. And it warmed my frozen black heart. I really could do with fewer surprise road trips nowadays.


    If all this was just a ploy to lull me into false sense of security and kill me after uttering careless, easily misinterpreted words, the joke was on him - to die happily oblivious was my plan all along. So everything looked great on paper. Doubtlessly there would be more things to iron out in this unwanted babysitting situation, but the devilish creature was proving to be surprisingly amenable.


    Now that my neuroses have calmed down, I thought that maybe things are going to be alright. It was a strange, soothing sensation. I could get used to this.

 10 R 2

    I stopped to drink at another little brook, snacked on sour wild apples ¨C then had a stomach ache and refused to complain about it. Was ready to discard the oozing ill-fitting shoes, but thinking of some distant future where I¡¯d find pavement again, didn¡¯t.


    Road was buried under the grass and brush so thoroughly we could have turned around and I wouldn¡¯t have known it. Maybe even strayed on purpose once or twice ¨C some sights were surprisingly alluring. Upon closer inspection during one of these times, the black shrubbery looked like anything but what it appeared from afar. And they moved when observed. The marshland suddenly gave me two sinking feelings.


    ¡°Are we still on the right path?¡± I asked after a long while of uncontested peace.


    Monster assured me that we were and I sidled closer to the known evil. That may or may not have been strongly influenced by some of the bushes taking on human and animal shapes. If I never saw the great outdoors again it would be too soon.


    Forced to ignore the haunting beauty all around, I turned my attention back onto the monster walking by my side. The hood was pulled up again and I found myself relieved. I knew what was beneath it, I knew this hidden state was his full appearance, but something at the back of my mind still compelled me to imagine human features underneath.


    My fingers felt the rough texture of his skin-coat and I looked down to find myself gripping crook of monster¡¯s arm. Chewed my lip. I was far too impulsive and physical for self-restraint when it came to other people. Let go, watching my hand lazily drop down and brush rest of the sleeve in the process.


    His fingers flexed and caught mine at the last moment. I looked up but there was no expression to tell me what he could be thinking. I held on wordlessly. There were no waves of unreasonable pleasure, but the contact was still nice. Comforting. And load-bearing, as I soon came to find out after tripping over a submerged root.


    ¡°Do you want to be carried?¡± he snarled out but it wasn¡¯t unkind.


    ¡°Oh, god, yes please,¡± I muttered exhaustedly and threw my full weight into demon¡¯s arms without glint of shame. I was so sick of slogging through mud. Walking was never my calling. And I had to have some pride in first place to be abashed by my actions. What was I even trying to prove yesterday?


    Demon hummed looking dead ahead, ¡°Too bad you¡¯re too capable of doing everything on your own.¡±


    This sly devil! I grinned and feigned dying. Twisted towards the sky with elbow over the eyes to cry, ¡°I was so young and stupid then!¡± Then barked out meshing the words together, ¡°Also it is all your fault for being sensitive mountain flower, your guy would have dropped me off like yesterday.¡± And I wasn¡¯t even exaggerating for once.


    Demon¡¯s ticking growl switched up as if reluctantly conceding. He bent down and scooped me up onto his forearm just like before. I melted onto noticeably warming chest. Finally, some rest. I hadn¡¯t even noticed this headache before. I could nap. The fact that my face was pressing against rough leather which I held back from touching for what seemed forever kept my eyes wide open.


    The fleshy layer underneath didn¡¯t writhe nor was there any soft prickling. For once he stayed well within his own skin. How¡­ lamentable. I was effectively limiting his senses, which probably wasn¡¯t fair on my part. But boundaries were nice. Not everybody granted me that gift.


    I stared at his hooded head again and to both of our surprise my hand ended up flying towards it. I knew demon was caught off-guard because I heard the flesh rearrange as if by instinct and still a split second later. I froze up too, moving only after the panic subsided.


    ¡°Tell me if I¡¯m doing something wrong,¡± I whispered and carefully prodded absence of face again.


    ¡°You¡¯re not letting me repair you,¡± monster hissed back just as quietly and his facial maw cracked open. I landed one fingertip on a tooth.


    ¡°I¡¯m not broken,¡± I replied in low tone, as dictated by the tranquil moment. Upon retrospection I probably was, but that went beyond his power.


    ¡°And I¡¯m not human¡­¡±


    ¡°Clearly,¡± I sank my fingers onto the sharp pricklers.


    ¡°¡­ Yet you regard me like such. I can do so much more for you,¡± demon finished interrupted sentiment.


    I sagged down around creature¡¯s neck and closed my eyes. The insistence would have been irritating if not for the earnestness behind it. For some reason he listened to me against his own better judgement and I felt better for it.


    I was napping for a good while when intensifying growl woke me up. I was all groggy and sluggish.


    Tick. Tick. Tick tickticktick. Splat.


    Wiped chunks off my face. They weren¡¯t bloody per se, but transparent film definitely oozed out. Warm, pulsing flesh. Small needle teeth.


    ¡°Ew,¡± I dropped the slimy chunk instinctually. Some dots connected and I looked up to find half of monster¡¯s hood missing. I really should be reacting to that, whoever was piloting my listless body told me. Monster jerked again as two more whacks forced otherwise steady tower backwards. Gunshots. Gunshots were gutting the creature. That¡¯s when a real terror gripped me and instead of screaming I gutturally snivelled.


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    I felt the force of each impact with my body, but no projectile touched me. I didn¡¯t even have a scratch. Looked back up and found faceless creature fully mended and thoughtfully ticking away. Monster ate the metal like it was candy, swerving only when they seemed to be aiming for me. Perhaps hugging a target with all my might was bad idea, but I could not let go. I still couldn¡¯t get over seeing a headshot, even if the only head the person in question carried was mine.


    ¡°They call themselves special anti-entity unit,¡± growling relayed bits of what must have been an incredibly distant conversation.


    ¡°And?¡± I shouted, gripped by fear as hard as I was holding onto the special unit¡¯s quarry. I failed to see the relevance of naming, besides of course the fact that danger has perhaps doubled. Why wasn¡¯t he hightailing out of here?!


    ¡°I wonder how especially squishy they are.¡±


    I normally would have said something very derogatory about humanity, but these particular individuals were determined and carrying some serious heat. I could tell the demon did something I didn¡¯t even register because a deafening explosion got diverted away.


    Following precision hits aimed to harm his horns in particular. Perhaps by accident or maybe anti-creature regiment really knew what it was doing. Demon swerved and this time it took him serious effort to stay on his feet. Another one of those explosions dangerous enough to avoid completely shook the ground to our left and wave of heat wafted in my face. Monster regenerated the injured antennae and seemed to be done with playing.


    I felt my hands sink into a squishy mass and then get forced apart as another distinct form bulged out of the monster¡¯s back. I blinked and two of them stood in the field. The sniper was still aiming for the horns, but now both of them maneuvered the heads, effortlessly avoiding getting shot. One trotted on ahead whilst the other carrying me kept walking in the same pace.


    ¡°Let me down,¡± I muttered, still gripping creature¡¯s shoulders like my life depended on it. It probably did.


    ¡°No.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t argue further. I was too scared. Way out of my element. Dying was supposed to be much more relaxing. This was not it.


    Thus far things were going well. Creature seemed unbothered, perhaps even thrilled. He probably faced armed humans all the damn time. Previous massacre wasn¡¯t even a challenge, after all. This is fine. It¡¯ll be fine. I just regretted having front seats to this show.


    He unexpectedly stopped. Bad feeling made me look out into the field where other body should be conducting business. There was no sound of battle and bullets have stopped. White smoke billowed in angry welts. A slumped body was getting slowly covered by it. I could still see two coiling prongs sticking out.


    Unexpectedly, my demon turned around and ran. Smoke chased and another hissing pop landed in our path. More treacherous smoke reached for us. I felt like sinking in molasses and monster¡¯s flesh started closing up over my hands. His arms squeezed me to his core harder, although I wasn¡¯t even struggling. My head got enveloped in something elastic and it was all dark.


    I was inside him. I curled up. There were no teeth, I was whole and unhurt. Air was heavy, thick and there was not much of it. And he was still running. Have I ever seen him move this fast? The growl was varying but I could not discern words. He didn¡¯t need to spell it out. That white cloud was bad news.


    The rocking of his leaps wasn¡¯t even anymore. He certainly tripped that time. Fell, now. And didn¡¯t get up. Growl has ceased and it left me feeling emptier than I would have ever imagined. I stayed bunched up, even when it became hard to breathe.


    I spoke to him, all sorts of incoherent nonsense to coax out a snide reply but there was nothing. No sound, not a twitch. I was so dizzy and only partly because of suffocation.


    When I heard voices I could not bear it any longer and began clawing my way out of the body. There were gunshots. Scalding pain; disgustingly warm liquid covering my leg. I pulled it back in and gripped with effort to staunch the flow. It hurt more.


    ¡°Wait! Stop! Stop! I¡¯m human!¡± I shouted through the cacophony as lifeless corpse absorbed worst of the barrage. Corpse. There had been no doubt of the fact in my hazy mind now. What I considered an opportunity for freedom not so long ago, now coloured my black and red world with regret.


    Another friend was dead. Friend. Perhaps not quite yet but he had potential of becoming so. After all, he was one of few on my side. I snorted at the absurdity and told the corpse all about it. No response.


    Juices were oozing off the stomach walls as though salivating. In actually this body was rapidly decomposing. It immediately smelled different. Not sickeningly sweet like this world¡¯s meat, just as though nothing held all this mass together and separate components re-emerged. I screamed more words whilst gripping the flesh around me but all I managed to grasp was more of the ooze.


    Feeling the lull more than hearing it and drowning now on top of suffocating from bad air, I forced myself out. Mouth and nose were full of the foul mucus but I was able to pull in a couple of breaths. I kept muttering that I am human to all the barrels pointed at me. Wasn¡¯t offended. I would be wary of gut-surfing swamp monsters too.


    Specialised unit stood cautious but wasn¡¯t shooting anymore. Several were aiming flaming hoses. Others held high calibre launchers. Most were spread out and spraying some other mist over the field. Everybody wore gasmasks, even though there was no sign of the drifting death anymore.


    Frogs were silent and mosquitos didn¡¯t bother me for once, albeit thick layer of mucus would have probably stopped them anyway. I stared at the corpse. Then the other similar gathering in the distance. A bulky vehicle was backing up towards a container.


    Over. That part of my life ended abruptly and all too quickly again. Perhaps I can finally just go back home and forget that last month has happened altogether. Forget the death that followed me.


    Glanced back at the suited up faceless men. All of them twitchy and vigilant. Yeah, I was far too optimistic about my future prospects.


    They looked like they were still in a presence of monster. Considering circumstances and my appearance, I didn¡¯t blame them. I was lucky they didn¡¯t shoot me¡­ Scratch that, they did, but I was lucky it wasn¡¯t a headshot yet. I probably need to work towards keeping it that way. Rather than unconvincingly repeat that I was human and therefore undeserving of their bullets I chose to engage in a fuller conversation.


    ¡°Outstanding rescue, boys, but where¡¯s the hot cocoa?¡± I croaked, throat still full of transparent slime which I choked on and subsequently got into coughing fit over. Which was far too jerky for these fine, jittery men who valued their lives above mine. I forced myself to stop, clawing at the ticklish throat.


    ¡°Nothing? Not even sweet tea? How ill-prepared,¡± I attempted playful chastising, but my voice was thing of nightmares and I was turning red from holding in the cough. Not my best look. ¡°I¡¯ll settle for water?¡±


    A canteen dropped at my knees. Someone took pity and I smiled at one of the masks. The others did a dance from leg to leg or throw a glance towards the good samaritan. So the camp was split between the unsure and wary. Good, I can work with that. Daugas, I read on raincoat uniform of the bleeding heart and filed information under just in case.


    Right after I took a greedy drink ¨C which still did not clear my mouth of the monster juice - a smaller figure strode in and stood safely right behind the line of fodder. Someone in charge, then. Woman spoke sternly, ¡°I was told this one communicates?¡±


    ¡°This one has a nice cup of coffee, would you like some?¡± I graciously saluted her with the canteen.


    ¡°Good work. The pod for mouths is on the way. Stay sharp,¡± woman said and strutted off.


    I reeled and even though I was already sitting, felt like sinking even deeper. ¡°Hold on, lady! Wait. I¡¯m human!¡±


    I tried to get up but circle of guards got restless and started shouting. I remained in my puddle and in just a moment more, threw up the weirdest looking glob of slime. How very human of me. This one was no longer transparent. I, along with all the soldiers, half-expected it to grow legs and run off. We stared. It did not.


    I had this nagging feeling that once I am put in that pod that would be the end for me. It was also utterly pointless to beg or try to convince the disposable men in the frontlines. And yet I babbled on, ¡°It¡¯s gonna be so awkward for your boss in a little while. Does she have a boss?¡±


    Well, okay, I guess they had to make sure before letting a potentially dangerous creature go. But all that work just to salvage one deadbeat human? Yeah, unlikely.


    I pulled out the cigarette which remained miraculously dry in my inner pocket beneath the coat but all three remaining matches refused to light. Perhaps it had more to do with my shaking fingers. The same one guy with conscience started digging under his raincoat and eventually threw me a waterproofed box of his. The little kind gesture felt like cement on top of my grave.


    Helicopter started buzzing above as the doomed man worked on his last smoke.

 11 B 1

    We all sat at the big window and I pretended it was me observing unknown animals and taking notes. Very curious choice in hairstyle, female specimen. Trying a bit too hard for the co-worker, though the audaciousness was probably well warranted in this case. The oblivious man in question was entranced by me instead ¨C which had some potential to be flattering in any other situation besides this. The lab ambiance didn¡¯t let me fully appreciate the wide-eyed wonder in his eyes.


    ¡°Can I have some of that hair product, Miss Augusta?¡± I raked my overgrown fringes backwards. I was still all grimy, so there was very little sex appeal to find but old habits and all that.


    Woman¡¯s big eyes turned to glance at me to make sure I was still safely locked away, then narrowed into a contempt and her lips moved. Unlike her, I couldn¡¯t hear it but I was sure she¡¯d reminded me of her doctorate status. She seemed petty like that.


    ¡°What¡¯s the harm? You could clearly use less of it, and I could use¡­ well, anything at this point. Underwear, body paint, what have you.¡±


    Lady doctor scowled something fierce and her companion quipped a line atop of mine with a grin, forcing an anger blush on woman¡¯s face. From what I¡¯d gathered thus far she wasn¡¯t inclined to like me anyway, so antagonising only helped to work out the other angles. So far there were none, but it helped to pass the time anyhow.


    I was locked up in an airtight room somewhere deep deep underground. A little more of a pickle than the last time. Flirt hard as I might, I really doubted anyone would be adventurous enough to take me out for a stroll. Not even the enthusiastic scientist, as his obsession lied in keeping me under a microscope. For whatever the damn reason. It¡¯s been days but I was still treated like pestilence.


    The moment pod slid into its place between all these other solid steel slabs, they demanded I undress and discard all my possessions and was essentially left alone to stew. I sorely regretted complying and playing a grateful fool. Days later that still got me nowhere. The clothes have been soaked through and muddy, but sleeping and sitting on metal was more than just unpleasant. The assholes even objected to me wrapping shirt around the wounds and threatened consequences. Never got around giving me bandages either. The blood has coagulated, mostly thanks to the thick glop than anything else, making it so that the monster inadvertently saved my worthless life yet again. I wasn¡¯t grateful this time either.


    Well, at least the assholes were happy.


    ¡°Can you play some music here? I could dance,¡± I asked in my most alluring tone, watching male mad scientist. Bold claim, as I could hardly stand. My left leg was swollen and barely mobile. Just one other thing to allude to the previous imprisonment. This situation wasn¡¯t as bad yet, but neither had that been¡­ until the guests showed.


    Request has been sincere, in any case. The piercing silence made my ears ring, and then hear things which weren¡¯t here. I might have screamed in the night just to hear something. That was after I figured out they weren¡¯t going to let me out anyway, so it was a well calculated breakdown.


    At times I felt faint vibration of the floor. Some other creature must have been thrashing nearby. Was all this effort to isolate sound even working on them? My monster probably would have been able hear everything they said floors away. My dead, dead monster with all his worthless promises.


    Group of new people entered their side of laboratory. Posture of one signalled it was the boss lady from the field. She and the posse sat down at the back wall as if to observe some show.


    ¡°This is awkward. I was actually joking about the dance. You see, that requires at least some clothing for it to be fun,¡± I didn¡¯t even bother getting up. The pain flared up merely thinking about it.


    The people spoke behind the layers of glass and I had only vague idea as to the contents. It was enough to not be optimistic. A click signalled that microphone on their end was enabled.


    ¡°We know you are a mouth. Time to stop playing games,¡± the stern woman jumped right to business.


    ¡°And here all this time I was being so hard to get,¡± I muttered with a weak smirk.


    ¡°If you wanted to get caught, you have our full attention,¡± she both condescendingly implied something and dismissed it in same breath. It made me laugh. The absurdity of the situations I keep finding myself in. Unperturbed, she continued, ¡°We have been eager to find entities we¡¯d be able to reason with.¡±


    Lies and pretend-cooperation could be my way out. Except that I had nothing to show for it. I put all my remaining faith into something rarely graced by my lips - the truth. ¡°Ma¡¯am, I look human, talk human, bleed like a human. I¡¯d walk like human too, but you¡¯ve shot me and the pain barely permits me to crawl. It¡¯s hard to grasp, I know, but it¡¯s all because I am a human.¡±


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    The authoritative figure quirked her eyebrow disapprovingly. ¡°Bleed like a human you most certainly do not. Did you not think we¡¯d run blood tests? Or do you not know what that is?¡±


    I brushed the hair off my face, thinking. That must mean they¡¯ve found something suspicious. Which was more than likely, because that bastard kept sticking his tentacles where they don¡¯t belong. I couldn¡¯t just say a monster has done something to me, because that would only prove their theory correct.


    ¡°Really, you¡¯re surprised I ate some strange critters after days in the wilderness?¡± I suggested instead.


    ¡°Not at all. Please tell us more. We are all ears.¡±


    Fuck. Of course she¡¯d assume I took a bite straight out of alien beast¡¯s side. ¡°Well, in the field nearby there were frogs, then some seriously mutated mosquitoes. Perhaps you ought to death spray that place too.¡±


    ¡°Ah, yes. The invasive poisonous frogs,¡± she tapped her finger onto the clipboard impatiently.


    Busted at the starting line. How unfortunate. I really shouldn¡¯t spout things I knew nothing about. Nevertheless, I could only double down at this point, after all she could be bluffing too. ¡°No, they aren¡¯t,¡± I grinned confidently through my pain.


    ¡°They most certainly are. Cut this crap. Will you or will you not cooperate?¡± a man in pristine uniform barked out.


    ¡°At your service,¡± I bowed as much as my aches permitted. The general sent a smirk towards stern boss lady and she hid her irritation well. Today was not my day. Or week. Or a month. Come to think of it, all my problems have started at birth.


    One way or the other not one of the numerous predatory eyes believed me. This will be so embarrassing for them when I peacefully pass away sometime tomorrow. Although, perhaps I can manipulate their wish to hear what they wanted to hear and get at least a tiny reprieve, along with a little more time.


    I didn¡¯t pay attention to their following prompt and spoke over it instead, ¡°If you want something from me, I need something too.¡±


    The observatory stilled and their attention reached laser focus. ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°Water.¡± I was so unspeakably thirsty. I¡¯d guzzle down bleach at this point.


    Augusta turned back to the panel of important people and commented, ¡°He keeps asking for it. We theorise that it¡¯s how he connects to the entity.¡± The microphone muted and they discussed possibility further, whatever that meant.


    Brilliant minds hard at work. So glad I never got to paying any taxes. This was just sad.


    Speakers came back to life with a bark, ¡°Is that true?¡±


    I grappled with facts and wondered which answer they¡¯d prefer. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you like to see?¡± I employed my smart mouth, figuring the big window was here for a reason.


    ¡°Regardless. We¡¯re confident in the holding. We decided to permit it,¡± boss lady announced. ¡°As a show of good faith.¡± It was implied there was more where that came from, if I behave. I didn¡¯t even need to delve into my past experiences to decipher this.


    Disproportionally tall ceiling opened up and mist of clear water sprayed the walls. There was a hatch up there hiding all sorts of mechanisms. They probably hoped monsters would have harder time getting to it. I doubted it, but I wasn¡¯t a monster specialist and they apparently operated just fine.


    I wrestled with the mist in a losing battle until it turned into simple stream in the centre of the cell. I crawled and gulped it down greedily. This must have added a day or two to my lifespan. Perhaps in few more days the chemicals monster left behind would clear out and they¡¯ll snap out of it?


    Spa treatment has come to an end. Everyone stared at me with an open-mouthed anticipation.


    ¡°Ta-dah!¡± I fluttered my hands enthusiastically. No, this wasn¡¯t it. I grabbed at my chest and pretended to writhe in pain on the wet floor, which wasn¡¯t much of an exaggeration because I had moved my leg and it was now determined to kill me. Someone in the peanut gallery even stood up to see better. I straightened out, but didn¡¯t sit up anymore. ¡°Sorry, heartburn. It¡¯s what happens when you don¡¯t feed your prisoners for days on end.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no need to pretend to be in a weakened state. The only way you¡¯re getting out of here is through thorough cooperation and proving you can be of use to us,¡± one of the brass dismissed my theatrics.


    I got a clear impression it was the truth. This was about furthering their goals, not saving anyone. I knew, and yet had to ask. My tired mind could be imagining an extra layer of despair in this diminished capacity.


    ¡°¡­ And if - if - I am but a puny human and you¡¯ve wasted all this time and effort?¡±


    The scornful general was about to confirm my suspicions, but was cut off by the male scientist, ¡°Are you really not aware you¡¯ve been made into a mouth?¡±


    I scoffed with some eye rolling. Outrageous idea ¨C though I only had words of a monster to go by. ¡°Who even came up with that naming? It¡¯s beyond ridiculous.¡±


    ¡°Yet you know what that means,¡± stern woman¡¯s voice pointed out again.


    Touch¨¦. ¡°You keep repeating it, would be stranger had I not figured that out,¡± I replied and diverted attention with some other dangerous topic, ¡°Have you considered that I am¡­ not that?¡±


    The committee side-stepped walking in circles and went on with their grand list of inquiries, ¡°Was the other abnormality a part of you, another mouth or some other structure?¡±


    I scrubbed the face hopelessly. I couldn¡¯t showcase any grandiose feats of a monster. Telling the truth will get me killed, which at this pace is going to happen anyway, so I went for it. ¡°You¡¯re not listening. I keep telling you, it just tried to eat me. You people showed up right on time for me to escape that.¡±


    My version of the story was not believed. Again. Pretty smart of them, since I lied about most everything anyway.


    Then there was a slew of meaningless questions I could not even begin to process. My mind drifted through most of them.


    ¡°What can you tell us about the coin?¡±


    ¡°How much platinum can you produce?¡±


    ¡°Are you an eye?¡±


    ¡°Did the gas hurt your main body?¡±


    ¡°Is that why you cannot restore yourself?¡±


    ¡°How did you establish contact, communicate with the entity?¡±


    There was finally, something I could actually answer. I muttered, ¡°We just talked. Normally. Perhaps you coulda had nice interview with someone more informed had you tried speaking instead of shooting first?¡±


    ¡°What did it want?¡±


    How should I know? Vacation? A pet. The line of inquiry irked me. ¡°World domination,¡± I spilled some of that roiling irritation onto my rapt audience. To say they were alarmed was an understatement. My cell was cut off from the discussion again. They acted as though two copies of that spooky monster weren¡¯t already scooped up by ladles and tucked away in another lab.


    The roomful of powerful people settled down and proposed a question, ¡°What did it ask about?¡±


    He wanted to know what upset me. How few people have ever asked that. I covered my face to hide from the brutal lights. The all-important visitors kept on badgering me about something but I was lost to the world.


    The metal floor punished me harsher than just with passive aches and the cold. Electrocution shook my body. It wasn¡¯t unbearable, but the speaker advised me to get serious. Apparently that was the lowest setting. My leg was leaking anew.


    I stared at all the people who¡¯d gathered here today to get their answers no matter what.


    ¡°Your way of getting cooperation sucks,¡± I wheezed out weakly.


    ¡°We tried simply talking. It is getting us nowhere.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because you¡¯re not listening¡­ If I was some badass monster, I¡¯d so fuck you up.¡±


    The speaker sounded awfully smug next time he asked an irrelevant question I had no chance of replying to, as if expecting me to flip out and reveal my cards. Well, I was in for a bad time.

 11 B 2

    The other morning I was groggy beyond belief but was thankful for that brief reprieve which attempted to shield me from harsh reality. I turned over on my side and wailed, then screamed, still unaware why. My body was raising all alarms and it prompted my mouth to do the same. I attempted to get up and faceplanted back into the metal ground. I tried and tried but just kept squirming. I could not get up.


    I woke up without an arm. It just up and disappeared whilst I slept.


    No, not sleep. This level of sluggishness came from drugs. I curled up onto myself on the good side and stared at the gleaming eyes beyond the glass. The assholes didn¡¯t even bother to bandage it up. Why would they, with monsters?


    Something massive was thrashing again. Were the other creatures tireless just like the one I had known? Even if they could heal themselves and not feel pain, I didn¡¯t think they were having fun up here regardless. So why was I feeling especially miserable about my sorry ass?


    The shutter behind the window dropped down and room I was in started moving. I groaned pitifully, not having energy to do much else. There was some small chance that they dissected my limb and found that I was fully human after all.


    Was this sliding towards incineration? That¡­ wouldn¡¯t be so bad actually. I missed warmth. Jumping into a pyre was high on my list these past few days, as cold was so deep inside my bones by now I hardly felt it if not for uncontrollable shivers.


    One of the walls fell aside and there was bigger space behind it. I raised my head to look, but that was it. Too lazy to brave it. Would I get electrocuted again? Probably, but until then I was not going anywhere. Maybe my heart could give out on one of those. Maybe I should just dig my nails into the stinging shoulder and open up the artery. Skin around it was so tender. I did not want to feel any more pain.


    My eyes fell onto another new thing. There was slab of greenish monster meat nearby. Food? But it was all raw. However, besides that, I had no idea what else it could be for. They treated me completely like an animal, then. Chances were it was poisonous too. Touched it and my remaining fingers did not fall off, melt or rot away immediately. But it was warm. Did some other creature get my arm then?


    I bit off small piece with some effort and it stung. Unluckily, that was it. I did not drop dead. Eating any more of it was not appealing. It did not smell or the taste edible. Perhaps I wasn¡¯t starving yet, though I can¡¯t recall a time when I¡¯d eaten raw monster meat even as an unwanted orphan.


    Hacking noise startled me. I looked at the newly opened room but it was still empty. And yet, something undoubtedly was there. For long minutes I waited but nothing happened. I was well aware it was another cage for a trapped monstrosity. It was either invisible, or¡­ Sound came from the obstructed ceiling. Ha. Knew it. I guess I¡¯ll at least die smug. Laid down and closed my eyes. Must have passed out because next time I awakened was when the cage was en route back.


    Shortly after, I received delegation which had even more questions to ask. I had too big of a headache to be a smartass, so my ignorance was rewarded with more pain. Sometime later airtight chamber doubled as test tube for tolerance of pressure and strange gasses. I didn¡¯t fare so well there either. I passed out. Then met some more monsters which sat on the ground and chirped woefully. I groaned at them in solidarity. They didn¡¯t deem it worthwhile to kill me either. Pity.


    When the chamber was wheeled back, lady scientist was on her lonesome and was restlessly looking at all the monitors.


    Click. ¡°You can¡¯t honestly still be thinking this show is fooling us?¡±


    Oh my. This sounded like a frustration rather than a preapproved conversation. I whispered from my corner, ¡°How naughty of you, Miss Augusta.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Woman got flustered as though I was referring to more than this minor lapse in protocol. What else could she be up to?


    ¡°Your crush will feel so left out,¡± I spoke quietly again but their microphones had no problem picking up on it.


    ¡°Well¡­ He doesn¡¯t need to get reprimanded for my whims,¡± her fingers danced on, then woman shook her head as if remembering this wasn¡¯t why she was breaking the rules. ¡°As I was saying, it¡¯s a nice pitiful display but whatever you¡¯re doing to stop your brethren from attacking you nullifies all of it. Just quit it and cooperate already. We¡¯re not animals, nobody¡¯s enjoying this. We, too, just want safety. You were human once, you should understand.¡±


    I sighed deeply and tiredly. The permanent migraine made it harder to think than necessary. There was little I could say anyway, so I suppose I needn¡¯t bother to expend my remaining brainpower.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t do anything,¡± muttered to myself.


    ¡°So why are the others staying away?¡±


    ¡°Have you considered it¡¯s because I¡¯m still covered head to toe in what¡¯s essentially another creature¡¯s vomit? Who¡¯d want that?¡± Mist and stray particles were a far cry from cleanliness. Would this be a good time to address a shower? Hell yes, I¡¯d bash her face in with my severed limb for bucketful of warm water.


    Fingers insistently tapped on, ¡°Of course we did. They don¡¯t care about the mucus.¡± Pause to consider revealing something she clearly shouldn¡¯t. ¡°It¡¯s your flesh. Other creatures react adversely to the samples too.¡±


    Curious, but they did take the limb that demon has restored with bits of himself. Now, how do I explain that to this nice lady without putting myself in bigger danger? ¡°You¡¯d probably do better with carcasses of the monster I was with,¡± keep them busy until I fall apart. Not long now.


    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s distinctly whatever you produce.¡±


    ¡°Because it¡¯s dead! You¡¯d do well to take better care of me, huh?¡±


    Woman¡¯s eyes narrowed, ¡°I¡¯m willing to give it some doubt because nerve gas could have degraded some essential component. Still, that only proves you are a foreign entity.¡±


    I rubbed my face and tentatively sniffed the palm. It wasn¡¯t an imagination, then. Tantalising scent of meat on my skin under all that grime and decay. My fingers dug into already carved up forehead. That bastard. He promised to keep me safe and miraculously did, but somehow didn¡¯t factor in the oblivious humans.


    I had no reply to that final argument. If I agree and reveal it¡¯s probably the smell, they¡­ what, exactly? Drain and quarter me? It¡¯s already happening.


    ¡°It would be such a shame if your bunch of smarty pants accidentally killed off the only hope to save humanity from the monster plague,¡± I tisked with my best effort to convey contemptuous irony.


    ¡°You won¡¯t die from this much,¡± she sounded as exasperated as I felt.


    ¡°But would it kill you to give me a sandwich? I see myself cooperating in that kind of situation far more willingly.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with the provided sample?¡±


    ¡°Would you eat that?¡± I had no strength to wave madly at the raw, now rotting lump of meat and just gestured that way with the eyebrows. Perhaps I ought to toss it to another monster¡¯s cage to save myself from the horrible stench.


    Woman rolled her eyes as though I was being obnoxious and not the other way around. ¡°Just in case you are very new to this, entities don¡¯t have to eat at all. You don¡¯t have to eat nor drink, as witnessed thus far. Most formerly-human mouths ingest substances just to access rest of the body and restructure themselves.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ That clearly isn¡¯t happening.¡±


    ¡°And why is that? Is your main body really dead?¡±


    Numb hurt formed into a lump which settled in my throat and prevented me from speaking. Someone was for sure dead. All thanks to these humanity¡¯s finest. Shifty-eyed woman probably saw some weakness in my expression and was about to push further, but door behind her opened and the colleague returned with a kettle. They exchanged some pleasantries and it seemed like Augusta pretended our dialogue never took place.


    ¡°Is that for me? Why, you shouldn¡¯t have,¡± I stared longingly.


    Mad scientists were discussing something with new fiery passion and I assumed I was not the only one who gleamed something from the quick clandestine chat. Nobody shared their hot beverages. I shivered and drifted off into dreams that were equally as terrible. It took me longer and longer to tell which was reality. Pain. Was it the raw space at the shoulder? Did they catch me shoplifting again? Or was this winter? No, rotten meat meant I was in the basement. A monotonous voice kept droning on, did I fall asleep listening to the radio? I sank into that latest sensation with all my might. It was still from the bleak days but I at least had my friends by my side. They all must be sleeping as well. I better keep quiet.


    During my lucid moments I no longer craved or hoped to ever return home. Ruby¡¯s problems were no longer in my hands. He¡¯d do fine, as always. It was peaceful kind of complete resignation. Frankly, I had given up on that first time I was at the mansion already, so all in all, the fact I got to spend few days with the gang was already an incredible bonus.


    Vertigo. The steel cage was moving again. The floodgate opened and I bothered to look what kind of monster it was today.


    I snickered, for it was a massive snail. Absolutely grotesque, coppery thing that slithered and left red trail after itself. Multiple stalks swayed to some beat I did not hear but my fingers joined in. It wasn¡¯t a shy one either, slimy critter wasted no time passing threshold into my cubicle. Great, I¡¯ll be squished underfoot. And by that I mean not great. Entirely awful. I whimpered and prayed to pass out or get a heart attack.


    A stem stretched towards me instead of the whole thing steamrolling me. It hovered and continued to twitch in a manner I could not decipher. Morse code? Nervous tick? I kept staring and looking for other signs to indicate whatever was going on. Snail kept drastically redecorating my room whilst keeping that one tentacle near my face.


    Fine, I¡¯ll bite. I sat up ¨C or tried to, and failed. Sighed and gave up.


    ¡°Welcome,¡± I muttered stoically. ¡°Make yourself at home. Help yourself to the just slightly rotten meat ¨C hope it wasn¡¯t ripped out of your buttock¡­ Mm¡­ Doesn¡¯t look like it, you seem to lack a backside.¡± Snail slipped sideways and even further up. Gravity, what gravity? Stalk swayed in front of me.


    ¡°Right, right. How rude of me,¡± I took a hold of the squishy skinless tissue to shake it and successfully did not shudder - had no spare energy to. ¡°Hello, my name is¡­ Well, just call me handsome devil.¡±


    The appendage twined around my hand with unexpected vigour. I felt it go beneath my skin and up the arm and that time I did shudder, although it must have appeared more like a convulsion. Unlike my devil, the snail did not disengage when I tried to back out of my failed joke. Sensation was intrusive and painful, as though every nerve got brushed along the way. Fool, what did I think would happen? Getting assimilated probably beat getting slowly crushed. Probably. To be seen, very soon.


    I smelled him and it forced me to calm down. Him. The specific sort of electric fleshiness. It wasn¡¯t remotely how the snail first wafted. I racked my brain for what that could mean when I started to take notice of the persistent odd thoughts that kept cropping up. Especially since they didn¡¯t seem to be attached to anything.


    I cleared my head and concentrated.


    Image of me, handless malnourished heap on the floor through many, many eyes. Monster snail was trying to communicate, but I could not grasp what it was trying to say.


    It showed me a nose. Smell? Was I the one who smelled of brain matter? The notion solidified on its own, although there was a lot more nuance to the scent than I could ever describe. Insistent images stopped. I must have guessed right. How does one communicate with alien snails? Was I to fart and imagine something negative in reply?


    ¡°No, I am not him,¡± I eventually settled on whispering. Wait, did it even have ears?


    A close-up of my parched mouth. Did not need to see that. Seeing chapped lips increased thirst by about a thousand percent, give or take three.


    ¡°Nope, not a mouth either.¡±


    It had to have some access to my thoughts to do this, right? I concentrated on showing devil restoring my hands. Perhaps me being a mouth was the only thing that stopped me from getting eaten, but at this point, what¡¯s the worst that can happen? Well, considering monsters ¨C a lot. But I was past caring.


    I remembered field covered in white gas and horned corpse. ¡°He¡¯s dead,¡± I clarified just to be especially clear. I felt a surge of surprising amount of anger. How dare he? Just peacefully fucked off and left me to deal with yet another imprisonment.


    Snail¡¯s body started quivering as it worked hard toward making fresh new streak of paint. Was it sad? Happy? No idea.


    Concept of something massive. Continental. Underwater. Floating. Charged. Dangerous. There were many, many branches of a dead forest reaching towards the sky. Nuances of the scent started crystallising into something akin to gargantuan slumbering brain matter.


    Fear and awe blossomed in my chest and heart did dangerous flutter for someone this malnourished and exhausted. Were those my feelings or alien creature released some cocktail into my system? We¡¯ll never know.


    But I did figure out what it was saying. There was no way the wee little puff neutralised something that sizeable. That sprawling landmass was Parkinson¡¯s body. Real one, not the human sized ant he marched around for fun.


    As soon as I worked that out, I got an image of underwater forest clawing through the landscapes of this planet, wiping mountains in its path and then opening this underground joint like a tiny can of singular bean. Snail showed something a little different, but I preferred less gory visual.


    I mean, I could understand why monster like that would just fearlessly stroll into an armed encampment and be so brazen the whole damn time, but¡­ why would it bother coming here?


    Snail recycled an image of my arms getting restored.


    ¡°So?¡± I said sceptically. His good deed of the day was done.


    Image of a nose.


    I did not understand logic of monsters, and was too tired to bother to. ¡°If you say so,¡± I muttered and closed my eyes. If horned devil (no longer horned? spiky rolling landmass?) decided to be clingy enough to come around and seek me out¡­


    I waited for my knee-jerk reaction of wishing to be dead and long gone by then, but instead hope sprouted in its place. I curled tighter into myself. I just wanted to be anywhere but here. This cold coffin was awful. I wanted him to keep his promises. I wanted to be able to stop clawing onto survival with all my might and let somebody else take care of it for once. There was nothing I could do here to save myself anyway.


    Snail must have been doing more sensual dancing for I felt the part which connected to me twitch too. It then showed me my deaths. The restless, thrashing creature which would just stomp me to pulp without meaning to. The other slug which speared its victims and lugged them around like a shell, all still somehow living and screaming. The beautiful plant room with shapes of animals in it. The¡­


    ¡°Geez, enough, I get it. Fuck,¡± I tried to pull my hand back, not wanting to see anything else. It did not let go.


    It then showed itself eating me¡­ Oh, great. I groaned, but it went on. Snail then regurgitated me upon Great Nervous System¡¯s arrival. One way or the other, it beat slowly dying of thirst and this creature deigned to ask first.


    ¡°Okay,¡± I said and sent it unclear instructions to have me sleeping through the unpleasant part. I hoped it understood and meaning wasn¡¯t lost in translation, I very much...

 12 BC 1

    ¡­ did not want to experience huh?


    I was standing, had both arms and felt great.


    ¡°Holey shit!¡± I exclaimed thrilled from the bottom of my heart. It felt like my thoughts flew unencumbered for the first time in what seemed like weeks. Not having migraine was such a treat!


    ¡°Good job, Snotty, I really didn¡¯t think I¡¯d see the other end of this tunnel. I wouldn¡¯t have even been mad,¡± I spoke and looked around for the slithering monstrosity. It was above me, the feelers all danced energetically.


    ¡°Hell yea!¡± I attempted to mimic its enthusiasm with a full body motion, arms up and all. It was such an understated pleasure to be able to just move. Cracked my neck. How long did I spend lying listless in the corner? I didn¡¯t begrudge the alien for the fix-up. Wasn¡¯t the worst thing that had happened to me recently ¨C and I really would have missed the arm.


    Ground shook and I staggered backwards. Oh. I suppose little critter wasn¡¯t full of shit ¨C even before it ate me. Something was really attacking the base. It wasn¡¯t a gentle trembling either, more like relentless pounding.


    ¡°Is that him¡­ You think?¡±


    Snail did not offer up a tentacle for a chat, so I could only guess. Chances were high or I probably wouldn¡¯t be standing here. I was suddenly feeling wary and apprehensive. Whatever that was outside it truly felt colossally immense. It caused earthquakes, for fuck¡¯s sake. Did I really want to see? What the fuck could a literal mountain even want with me? Perhaps it was not too late to ask the snail to bash my head in and dispose of the remains? We can all blame it on the mad scientists who were already planning it anyway.


    There was a window observing this cell too, and a couple of panicking jailers too. Different ones to my personal watchers. What these two nerds could have been doing to the ever so helpful serene snail? The unreasonably overgrown mollusc with its myriad writhing hands and insidious sense of home d¨¦cor probably did not appear that way to other humans, but it was nothing but nice to my humble person at my lowest.


    ¡°Tsk tsk tsk,¡± I interceded their mute shouting and gesturing. ¡°You¡¯re so fucked, aren¡¯t you?¡± Me too probably, but I needed this hot second of superiority over their entitled asses.


    ¡°You! What did you do?¡± the fatter of the two shouted through the microphone. Oh my, situation was dire enough for these two geniuses to break protocol as well.


    ¡°Me? I was locked up here all along. What did you do?¡±


    ¡°Call it off!¡±


    Ground shook dreadfully yet again.


    ¡°I heard you - you know who it is. Call it off, mouth!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not how it works?¡± I stated but had no idea either. It didn¡¯t seem like it?


    ¡°I¡¯ll make you do it!¡± On those exact words electricity trickled down the metal walls and both me and the alien invertebrate were twitching on the floor. It¡¯s good it didn¡¯t have bones or plopping off the ceiling might have done some damage. Having skeleton seemed more and more of a disadvantage these days.


    Convulsing on the ground I felt the vibration with very particular tick tick ticking connotation to it. Very little doubt as to what was happening now. Shortly, there were shouts of confusion on the intercom and the pain ceased. Groaning, I looked up to see scientists cower away from the oozing walls and especially, the door. Poor trapped souls, my heart bled for them.


    The room outside started crinkling in on itself like a plastic bottle underwater. I suspected it was beseeched by great weight, especially when some more of the biomass poured in through the cracks. The shutter to the cage tried to fall in place and lock us out, but it stuck halfway on the rumpled armature. Just enough for me to see the trapped scientists die in white fog, no doubt another failsafe to prevent demonic creatures from escaping.


    Amidst the billowing fluffiness of death another figure emerged off the blackened wall even though there was no passage on it previously. The shaking stopped a while ago, probably about the same time primordial ooze got into the premises.


    He really came for me. What a sobering thought. Thus far only one person ever did. As apprehensive as I was, I was also excited about this development.


    ¡°Should you really be standing in that smoke? Didn¡¯t end so well last time,¡± I chided, propping my chin up on the fist.


    ¡°¡­ inor nuis¡­ new mat¡­ e¡­ time¡­ djust,¡± crackling growl informed me. The wiring had not escaped the mayhem. ¡°Where¡­ u?¡±


    Ah. That¡¯s right! I was so used to him not looking at me whilst speaking that it didn¡¯t even register - but he could not see me. Not whilst I was in this hermetic trap. Monster was here purely for the disembodied voice in otherwise empty room. Dead people didn¡¯t count, obviously.


    ¡°Oh, you took too long. They fed me to the dogs and I am now but a ghost in the machine. It¡¯s peaceful exi¡­¡± I teased and felt the ground tilt. This nervous tick was on whole another level. ¡°Whoah, careful. Don¡¯t bust up my last microprocessor.¡±


    That did not work. Something somewhere roiled and I felt entire structure shift sideways. Then the gigantic grip relaxed and underground building settled once more, ceiling bending on observational room but no dust fell because of the monster skin holding it all up.


    ¡°Where¡­ ¡­ the remains?¡±


    I sighed at the creepy antics and the monster who casually played with life and death. ¡°I¡¯m fine. Your buddy here helped me. Which you¡¯d see if you had eyes like a normal person.¡±


    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    The horned hood turned and fixed on the window. The metal walls encasing me let out a tiniest grunt that meant monster intended to pry it open like a tin can. ¡°I don¡¯t think you should do that¡­ I will very much mind inhaling the cloud of doom, and that¡¯s probably least of what they¡¯ve rigged up here.¡±


    Giving my words careful consideration, one of the deceased humans rose and walked to the panel loaded with gadgets to offer his expertise. Poking at the keyboards worked and the seal behind me lifted. Some people were more of use dead than they were alive.


    The transportation tunnel quickly started staining black as my monster oozed through the cracks. Another horned shape stepped out of the flat vertical surface. Calm growl filled the space.


    I heard ambient noises for first time in¡­ a week? Experiencing the world with my ears felt ecstatic, even blaring siren on some other floor sounded like music.


    However, there were downsides too. The oppressive feeling which told me something was not quite right in the world grew much stronger with a wall gone. Claustrophobic sensation as though leviathan lied down on top the building, which was quite accurate in this case. My little brain couldn¡¯t comprehend the miracle of not having been squished. Frankly, I felt like falling on my knees and praying. A lot. Mental apologies to Priest for thinking him weird. He was, but on this regard he truly knew what was up.


    ¡°So yeah, what took you so long? Your massive fatty brain needs to get in shape first to get moving?¡±


    Raspy growl rolled off the walls, ¡°I kept switching out the harmed tissue, so the chemical degraded more and more cells. Eventually, the organ which kept the connection to this world collapsed. Re-establishing that took some work.¡±


    ¡°Sounds like you were really in a pickle there for a little bit,¡± perhaps humans were actually capable of kicking some demon ass. I shouldn¡¯t be that surprised, having grown up in a city safe from all imaginable creature attacks. But it was still astounding information to comprehend, especially considering the size of the monstrosity before me.


    ¡°Why are you surprised?¡± a rumble asked indignantly. He had told me repeatedly.


    I shrugged, ¡°Because you act like nothing can stop you?¡±


    The growl slowed down and I thought that was the answer until he¡¯d rasped, ¡°My mistake.¡±


    ¡°So that¡¯s the rest of you?¡± I gestured up with jerk of my head. Honestly, the roiling mass above and all around was far more unsettling than the lack of face ¨C which was far too easy to get used to in comparison. I let go of my final scruples and ceased thinking about this creature as of human person. ¡°Great Slumbering Plenitude of Nerve Tissue,¡± I tried out semblance of his true name.


    ¡°Some of it,¡± ticking growl informed me silently. Assessing. He was always so careful with exposing the tiniest bits of himself in most easily digestible increments ¨C and this was an entire cow charging straight into my face.


    There was more of him. I gaped but picked up my jaw off the floor and did not ask the obvious. I could finally understand the soldiers returning raving mad from their stints outside. I knew it happened, but now I understood.


    I swallowed the apprehension and reached out towards monster¡¯s hand. Nothing was different. This person meant me no harm.


    Creature¡¯s human fingers and the loose cloak lapels twitched. All slight bits roiled on his all too still figure. This was perhaps the most animate I have seen him. The leathery walls weren¡¯t still, either. There was creaking and groaning in the distance. Was it just falling apart or was the creature still twisting and grinding the military base around the edges?


    But something was definitely off. He was riled up. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± I asked.


    I couldn¡¯t bear the ominous intensity anymore and I tried to step backwards, but his sleeve weaved around my wrist and up.


    ¡°I was too late,¡± drawn out growl shook the wide passageway. As pleasant as all the noisy ambiance was, this harsh sound was way too much for my atrophied ears. I grabbed for my head.


    ¡°What?¡± I stammered out with my teeth clenched. Being on the receiving end of this creature¡¯s displeasure was paralysing.


    ¡°You¡¯ve been consumed,¡± growl snarled aggressively. ¡°By that.¡±


    I looked behind me, remembering we weren¡¯t alone. Instead of sprinting to colour the new area the usually lively snail was huddled where it plopped off before. The thin appendages curled rather than twitching every which way. One was extended all the way out of the cell for a talk.


    ¡°Oh. Didn¡¯t I mention? I had help. The people here thought I was a monster and treated accordingly¡­ Needless to say I wasn¡¯t repairing my cells the fast way.¡±


    Horned monster¡¯s sleeve uncoiled further and slammed into snail¡¯s protruded stalk. The appendage started turning black immediately and the brutal invasion spread further, throughout the boneless body. They might not have pain receptors but I could have sworn I saw signs of definite distress and no apparent resistance.


    I slammed my untwined hand onto Nerve¡¯s other grappler without thinking and yanked it back, ¡°Wait! Stop! Don¡¯t hurt it! I¡¯m telling you, it helped me.¡±


    ¡°By making you its mouth?¡± the growl was still cavernous and painful. My struggle against monster¡¯s hold on either of myself or snail ¨C not fruitful. It meant nothing to him. Demon didn¡¯t even bother crushing my forearms like the time I took a hold of his horns. I was afraid to go for that again, so just pointlessly kept tugging the crumpled skin.


    Shouted back at him, ¡°It knew who you were and that you were coming, but I wouldn¡¯t have survived that long. It asked me and I agreed.¡±


    ¡°So even you can agree it knowingly ate a part of me.¡± Faux pas of monster world ¨C do not nibble on thine neighbours. Ugh. Well, understandable, but still ¨C ugh.


    ¡°You said I wasn¡¯t a mouth,¡± I protested vehemently. ¡°So whoever eats me or doesn¡¯t was my choice.¡±


    ¡°You weren¡¯t,¡± growl shook the walls.


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m still not a mouth! I don¡¯t feel any different.¡±


    ¡°How would you know?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ I don¡¯t, but you do, right?¡±


    He had abandoned the argument he deemed pointless.


    There was no longer any trace of friendly snail that happily smeared bloody excrement on the walls. I felt disgusted, threw the retractable sleeve away from me and proceeded to wrestle my own arm free from the grip. Cruel monster held on, seemingly unaware of my effort at all. Let¡¯s face it, the mountain of flesh wasn¡¯t.


    ¡°What, I¡¯m next?¡± I spat out.


    The skin snakes slowly unwrapped themselves.


    ¡°No. You may leave,¡± growl passively ticked out and another shape took form by the wall. One with way paler skin than blacks of his dress. Another me solidified and looked as confused as I felt. Perhaps more so.


    ¡°The church had such modern catacombs? Cool,¡± the guy asked in my voice and then his eyes locked with mine. We shared identical expressions of horror. ¡°I¡¯m not loving the interactive mirror,¡± he muttered nervously and glanced back at the monster, hoping to be told this was a joke.


    Silence hung thick and heavy and the new me broke, ¡°What the fuck is going on here?!¡±


    My throat was surprisingly dry but I managed to croak out, ¡°You¡¯ made another one? And discarding me?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what you wanted, isn¡¯t it?¡± creature growled indifferently.


    The clone raised his arm, ¡°Excusm, that¡¯s what I wanted too?¡±


    My lips quivered and stomach roiled with apprehension. Dear fucking god, this colossal abomination of a foreign deity fully recreated another me and that one will be stuck to him like skin. Forever and ever. I did not want to be dumped like week old diaper, but that fate was worse.


    ¡°You can¡¯t do this,¡± I argued the injustice on my other me¡¯s behalf. I knew it was pointless to even try. Irrational. The powerful always did what they wanted and rest of us were swept along for the ride like dust.


    ¡°You can¡¯t. Please,¡± I begged. Being on the very bottom of the social ladder I did that a lot, but this one slipped out from my aching chest without me meaning to. There was no manipulation in the works, no plan behind it. I knew nothing could or would be changed. There was no hope.


    ¡°What happened?¡± the other me also pleaded desperately.


    Monster turned away from me and extended his arm towards¡­ his new mouth? ¡°I¡¯ll tell you, but we must go find someone on the other side.¡±


    The clone crossed his arms and laughed like this was some drunken client, ¡°Well, good luck then. I won¡¯t be of any help anyway.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, and water completely ruins our looks,¡± I added and outstretched my arm for the replica to take instead. I wasn¡¯t giving any part of me away. He sidled nervously to grip it with all his might. I saw it in how tense he was, how hard he breathed despite the carefree words. He mouthed water and crooked an eyebrow as though he had no idea what I meant. Did he not have full batch of my memories? Or did I have too many manufactured for me?


    A black strip of leather wrapped around my clone¡¯s waist and tugged backwards. Two steps and they both disappeared in the wall. The squirming mass started retreating briskly. The building started sagging and groaning as though losing the supporting construction.


    The nauseating oppressiveness eased, but I was still terrified of breathing in case that collapsed the building over my head. Touched my forehead and wiped sweat. This wholesome reunification took a sudden turn for tense walk on the blade¡¯s edge.


    He just created a copy and left.


    He killed snail. It¡¯s dead because the mollusc helped me.


    All of this was fucked up. Much, much more than before my saviour has descended upon this mortal realm.


    Fuck. I caused this! Again. I keep making things worse. If only I had the decency to keel over and stay that way.


    Shoved that breakdown into a box where I¡¯ve kept all my guilt and regrets.


    I can just enjoy my circumstances. Things weren¡¯t terrible for me for once. I was free of the monsters. Free from humans, too. I can even loot this place and return home a rich man. Truly rich. There must be so many unattended wallets just hanging out, waiting for my attention. Not to mention weapons or other trinkets which would sell remarkably well to right people. I¡¯d have to be picky, though. Can¡¯t carry all that much on my own and this place was bound to be swarming with investigative personnel any moment now.

 12 BC 2

    I found a maintenance ladder and a hatch. Locked. From outside. To be expected. Jumped down and without giving up checked other venues. Eventually found a crumpled passage towards freedom. Some of the ceiling behind that was caved in, air dusty. Since I didn¡¯t drop dead immediately it probably wasn¡¯t a bioweapon of any kind.


    Started looting random piles of clothing strewn around. Boots, cargo pants, shirt, jacket of many pockets, contents of purses. The usual stuff. Walked room by room. Stuffed bags and pouches full of money and jewellery.


    If not for the occasional collapse or automated alerts, it would have been dead silent. Not terribly daunting. Scavenging in the surrounding towns under threat of monsters was way worse.


    Picked up a load of keys and key cards, as the floors were locked from one to the next until reaching a place where stairs abruptly ended. There was an open sky. Still fair bit of way to reach ground level, though. The giant sea creature lightly scraped the top floors off.


    I sighed and clambered through the rubble swept to the sides. Tired, beat and all dirty, hoisted myself up the last peak. There were buildings! Debris all around, but great many still stood tall all over one side of horizon. An oddly familiar sight, but all the cities looked alike, right?


    Not at all. That crime against architecture was undoubtedly one of a kind. No two buildings would collapse the same way. Which meant I was home! Not an impossible coincidence, we were somewhere in the vicinity already. Joy!


    I would have never suspected soldiers have been bringing unholy beasts so near the population, within city limits. A bit hypocritical, but nobody ever asked me for opinion on such matters. Thus far they had done stellar job keeping them contained anyhow.


    Getting closer towards residential district I observed the stillness of destruction. Nobody cried. Nobody was riffling through the collapsed structures. Nobody even came to gawk at the hole in place of our strongest and bravest.


    No, this can¡¯t be right. The eerie serenity felt horrible. The stronghold of humanity was never supposed to be this inert, for it was the peace of graveyard.


    Everyone can¡¯t possibly be gone.


    Dropped my bags of goodies and ran.


    We lived away from the law. That translated into location physically furthest away from enforcers. They¡¯re fine. They will be okay. My lungs burned. I sprinted as though chased even though I barely started, but I could not pace myself. It¡¯s far from here. They would be alright. Had to be. Please. I just want to go home.


    I shouted, screamed for literally anybody to show up on the way but nobody peeked out in the dark windows. There was no rampant fire, no more sights of destruction. Everything was intact. Even the clothes I¡¯d occasionally stumble upon. Not a drop of blood. Everyone was just gone.


    ¡°Anyone!¡± I screamed hysterically, after succumbing on my fours to catch a few seconds of reprieve. Then I ran again. I could barely see through white spots in my vision by the time I reached home.


    ¡°Ruby?¡± I fell through the front door. Silence was still sickening. Without stopping, I checked every room on the ground floor and then flew up the stairs. Methodically opened and closed. Nothing.


    ¡°Amber?¡± I called out and got an idea ¨C she could be at work. It was middle of the very, very cold day.


    I ran out into the deserted street again. Her workplace was pristine and open. Piles of clothes lain all around. My face flooded with hot tears for I recognised one of the piles. That was Amber¡¯s best attire. She never wore it anywhere else. The heartbreak was palpable, but monsters have given me too good of health for my ticker to just stop.


    I wailed.


    This was all my fault! And it wasn¡¯t even survivor¡¯s guilt. I put this in motion. My actions. I shouldn¡¯t have gone back. Not the first time, nor the second. If I was captured literally anywhere else, some other city of strangers would have been razed and I would not have cared. We all could be happily existing separately and I wouldn¡¯t be endangering everyone I care about with my every action.


    Tears dried up and I sat listless for hours, hugging the bright yellow sweater that smelled of bread.


    At some point I registered an invasive waft of smoke and waited for the fire to take me. A burner or two had to have been left unattended, after all. Nothing had happened. Perhaps someone was trying to get warm in this surprisingly chilly air? Or get attention of survivors? Maybe one of mine.


    I forced myself to stand up. Swung the door wide open, stepped out and stared at the smoke billowing right into my face. I waited to burn up alive some more, but no such luck. Wind blew it all away momentarily.


    There was a burning mound of trash in front of the shop. Someone was definitely alive to be running around and lighting these. Weird, but that was on them. I walked right to it and warmed my freezing fingers. Whoever made a bonfire in the middle of the street would come back. Might as well be sitting here.


    So I sat and stared into fire long enough to start seeing faces in it. Then hear voices. Wonder what the dead were saying? I listened more carefully.


    ¡°Hello, how are you?¡± barely audible crackling had whispered. Such therapeutic, caring breakdown.


    This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.


    I sighed, wanting to go on diatribe about all the happy looting I was about to do, but it was just me and there was no hiding from myself. Reclined on one hand and muttered, ¡°I had a rough day.¡± The description felt a little inadequate, but I didn¡¯t look into the understatement further. Nothing would suffice.


    ¡°Corpulent Oleaginous Formation¡­ ruins everybody¡¯s days,¡± utterly quiet whooshing kept spewing seemingly unconnected words and I thought divine grace has finally bestowed a seizure upon my tired ass, but no. Voices in my head merely turned out to be spitefully outspoken.


    ¡°Yeah! Sleazy, slippery bastard,¡± I added with vehemence. Perhaps venting would do me good, because anything else was too terrible to consider. Perhaps in a little while. ¡°Keeps getting in my face as he sees fit, fucks everything up and then fucks off.¡± I fell quiet. Wind could have been talking and I wouldn¡¯t have known ¨C I¡¯ve drifted far too deep inside myself again. The vast nothingness there was astounding. I exhaled and words escaped, ¡°What am I supposed to do now?¡±


    There was just one thing to do, really. I wasn¡¯t sticking around through any following misery and cold just to find something that could topple this natural disaster. And somehow the longer I lived the worse things I¡¯ve come eye to eye with got, so I had little doubt - worse things were fast approaching.


    ¡°Do you want to play play play play,¡± faint voice asked me.


    Play? ¡°Uh. Yeah,¡± I could do with something little less grim. ¡°Sure. And what are we doing?¡± It was silly to ask this of nobody but the voices suggested it first. At this point I was no longer worried about my sanity.


    ¡°Ammo,¡± it whispered repeatedly, enticingly.


    I snickered, because of course my inner voice would be as grim as the rest of myself. ¡°Yeah, that would be nice, but in a flash of short-sightedness I¡¯ve dropped the guns somewhere. We will need to figure out an alternative,¡± I explained apologetically, but pulled out the loaded clips of my many pockets and looked around as though weapons would magically appear among the litter. No such luck.


    Oh, well. Had no use for these anyway. Chucked the magazine into the open blaze. Wisps licked the blocky lump greedily, it glittered and then fireworks started popping off one by one. Flame and smoke zestfully shot up. Sparks kicked around, red charcoal broke up into parts and flew around just like the explosive lead.


    ¡°Ahh! Pretty. With chance of instant death. This was a great idea,¡± I threw in another one, but the flames completely avoided the black oblong this time around.


    ¡°You humans die way too easily,¡± sparks hissed out.


    ¡°You humans?¡± I stared at the bonfire accusingly. The fucker lied to me - unsurprisingly - but here I thought I was bonding with my unwellness manifested. Disappointing. Also unfair. No matter what happened to me, I always got to experience it all fully lucid. The lady down the street would start talking to utility poles at the drop of a hat. I envied the bitch. Even more so now that she was peacefully gone.


    Though, perhaps, not all that peacefully. She¡¯d could be screaming at towering teeth for all eternity. The others¡­


    I swallowed the anger. Instead of going into a meltdown over all the monsters and kicking these twinkling coals up the stairs and down the river, I pulled out a scavenged packet of cigarettes and lit one up by putting my face directly into harm¡¯s way. I let the heat caress my face and singe the hair. Scratching at it just didn¡¯t seem sufficient anymore. Straightened up and inhaled the temporary bliss.


    ¡°You can¡¯t tell me what to do, because that¡¯s exactly what the great oily floater does and we both just agreed he seriously lacks any class.¡±


    I examined the pile of gleaming junk more carefully, trying to find a creature inside. It was quite an underwhelming sight. Or was it an invisible monster, completely unrelated to the bonfire? Just something floating in the air unseen. Shrugging, reached into the hearth. I intended to yank a flaming stick out and give some loving to the stubbornly abandoned clip myself, but it did not budge. Neither did the next one.


    I tightened the grip. With both hands on blackened material I got flashback of the last time I did this. Urge to kick out all these twinkling sparkles to hell returned with vengeance, but instead I just held on as it seared my palms with a sizzle. Physical pain was trivial. Preferable. I could throw myself onto this pyre. This would all be over after minutes of screaming.


    ¡°Nobody nobody nobody else left left to play,¡± several sparkles flew out petulantly.


    ¡°Yeah. That sucks,¡± I agreed weakly. I too could have used someone to horse around with about now. Instead, I was sitting smack dab in the middle of ghost town either talking to myself or a monster. ¡°None of this would have happened if not for me,¡± I confided.


    ¡°How vain of you, you, uuuu,¡± the wind whistled.


    The statement was true. It was uncharacteristically self-centred of me. And yet¡­ ¡°I¡¯ve brought him here.¡±


    ¡°That thing has hasss¡­ been here been here lo-ong before the settlement,¡± crackling informed me and moved on, ¡°How, how can you, can you be part of two beings?¡±


    ¡°Am not,¡± I let go of the logs to stop the nosy fiend from examining my seared hands any further, if that was how it did it. The hands shook. I did not look at the raw (medium?) tissue beneath, just pulled away the cigarette away with wooden screaming fingers.


    ¡°They must be, they must be in the process, process of tearing one another apart,¡± flames hissed barely audibly. ¡°What a grandiose event.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ Yeah, you¡¯ve just missed it and it was solidly underwhelming.¡±


    It hissed and hissed and I could not decipher it, so marked that as cussing right up the point I started to comprehend some of the words again. Agitated fire was funny.


    ¡°The tea would be lovely, thank you,¡± it was far too easy to mishear the whispers and I capitalised on it. Frankly, the only reason I heard it at all was because my face was getting a tan and we were sitting in a mausoleum of asphalt and brick. Nothing rustled anywhere. I could hear my heartbeat and parched lungs wheeze. The quiet wasn¡¯t unlike the one in the containment unit and frankly all of this could just be a hallucination.


    Please god, make that be true. I haven¡¯t asked you for anything in twenty years. Make this terrible dream go away. It doesn¡¯t even matter which dungeon I wake up in. I¡¯ll take anything instead of this.


    It came as a surprise to nobody, but my prayers remained unanswered.


    ¡°No eyes please, that is the opposite of lovely,¡± I quipped. I had almost grasped what the whispers were saying, but that didn¡¯t mean I wanted to deal with it. Sighed after a while and inhaled some more smoke. The one wafting off the trash heap could also be contributing to the all too welcome light-headedness.


    It called the snail in epithets of seeing, hearing, feeling. It was some kind of a mobile observatory, if you will. A sensory monster. And it was still alive. For little while.


    ¡°You called them both great?¡± I cut the incessant, repeating whispers off. The fire fiend made the clash seem like the event of century. If so, then maybe snail stood a chance. However from the lackadaisical defensive response back at the base I wasn¡¯t holding my breath.


    ¡°Yes,¡± a hiss descended like overwhelming madness.


    ¡°Is that indicative of size, power, age, status?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± fire hissed aggressively again. It wasn¡¯t helpful.


    ¡°Are you great too?¡± I asked to make sure it didn¡¯t fall asleep.


    ¡°No,¡± flames exhaled and plummeted. ¡°My people are akin to yours, yours, yours, people are¡­¡±


    I stared deeply and concluded, ¡°I fail to see the semblance.¡±


    ¡°Small, many.¡±


    A lot of little flamelings. Now that was something to be terrified of. Especially because that this one likely enjoyed a casual bombardment. Biological weapons wouldn¡¯t work on them either.


    And those two supermassive monsters will clash because one took a bite of another ¨C presumably. I was not anybody¡¯s body part. Anger simmered in me.


    Perhaps it was too vain of me to blame my scrawny ass for this. It was him. He killed everybody. Everybody. Those who tolerated me and even those that didn¡¯t know I existed. One who helped me was about to pay full price for that too. It wasn¡¯t fair. It was outrageous! Especially because the twisted-eared bastard promised he¡¯d be the one to look out for me. He failed. He should be the one he¡¯s demolishing.


    The flames whooshed, but I was drowning in my own rekindled seething misery and wasn¡¯t paying attention. The hands hurt. Making a fist was out of question.


    ¡°How can I reach this guy?¡± I pressed the blistered leftie onto the embers again and bit my lip to contain scream. Maybe some of this mess could even be rectified if I lost the restored arm?


    Wisps swayed and seemed confused. ¡°You¡¯re a terrible mouth,¡± they crackled eventually.


    I bit back, ¡°You¡¯re nothing great either. So?¡±


    ¡°It had another one out,¡± flames hissed at me as though I should know that better.


    This was terrific news which cast a small thread of hope. The other option would have been finding an entrance to their world and¡­ what, exactly? Chucking several cans of nerve gas down the hatch? A nuke? As if humans haven¡¯t already tried that. And that wouldn¡¯t serve me at all. I wanted a precision strike. I doubted I could convince this firecracker to delve back into monster dimension and run an errand. Against some legendary monster.


    But I¡¯d still need some aid. ¡°When you said nobody is left to play with, you meant the city guard?¡±


    Flames shot up and unexpected heat scorched my face. Yea! It whooshed, settling down slowly.


    ¡°Would you show me where I can find that other mouth?¡±


    ¡°Will you play. You, play.¡±


    ¡°Hell, I¡¯m trying. You¡¯re the one having qualms,¡± I muttered leering at the mag which moved way out of the fire¡¯s way, but smirked. At least this part was shaping up to be easy.

 13 R 1

    Unspeakable horrors swirled in my head, just outside the borders of conscious thought. I was master at putting unpleasantries out of my mind.


    I and the bonfire made our way back to the bunker. That''s right, the pile of embers was mobile ¨C which wasn''t entirely surprising seeing as it got here all on its own ¨C but I still startled when burning heap began piling itself up higher. It grew and grew and was almost my height when the jarring blackness stopped rearranging.


    It had vague human shape if one wasn''t overly fussy with the definition. It balanced on two angular legs. Rib-like cage of haphazard material guarded the rustling heart inside. Occasionally, new items got incorporated into the jagged physique. It stood taller the longer we walked.


    Animal paw was sticking out and oozed darkness. Not one of natives, then. My sparky friend informed me that the ambulatory locals were a terrible kindling. I wasn''t worried ¨C big part of me was past caring - but statement did not relieve any tension either. It could roast me on the spot if fancy struck it.


    The two-legged blaze lumbered behind me. It fell sometimes, especially when descending into the precarious crater, but reassembled itself just fine at the bottom. For all I knew it was preferred mode of traversing, because it sure saved time. I considered plummeting once or twice myself. Landing barely concerned me.


    I did not relish going back in even if it was whole and my captivity had little to do with the reservation. It was depressing place. Pristine abundance which was only ever accessible to likes of me only in the state of decay and abandon. The sight of it demolished made my insides churn.


    The stressed structure had caved in some more in my absence. All this water we could never really afford trickled out of busted pipes and down the walls and deeper. Nobody would come looking for the leaks.


    Sparky did not seem bothered to wade through, but damp kindling began smoking in black plumes and it was everywhere in moments. I coughed out my complaints and fireman turned the blaze down. It didn''t help.


    "Won''t you be smothered without fresh air as well?" I asked in the next, clearer pathway. Perhaps it wasn''t entirely bright of me to go indoors with a man-sized torch... But I was already deep in an infirm structure, my capacity for sound decisions was thoroughly exhausted.


    I need to break out of this haze and start thinking and planning properly.


    "... Just need heat heat heat," flames whispered insistently. There was something about humans before that, but I didn''t quite catch it over the noise of our steps. I took a hard guess. Creature wandering so close to town could not have been not apprehended once or twice before. Containing a fire sprite must have been harder than flesh and blood. Surely they have not released it unprompted.


    "So it''s not your first tour around here either?" I motioned around us, albeit I had no idea whether it could see. Hell, I could barely see and my unlikely companion was the light source - some areas had no more electricity.


    Couldn''t hear the reply if there was any, which was fine - I didn''t care either way. Hearing my surroundings just helped me stay out of my own head. Talking to myself worked just fine.


    I stopped at an intersection of sprawling corridors and wondered which way armoury could possibly be.


    "If it is buried under rubble can you... do anything about that?" I glanced at my barely smouldering companion. Could it manipulate concrete same way it held all the scattered pieces of itself together?


    "Yesss," I thought I heard the hiss. I later learned that meant passing through blockages in the form of magma. Fireball stumbling upon the explosive jackpot didn''t bother me as much as it probably should have. After all, I wouldn''t even have time to panic.


    We wandered for hours. I stuck my nose in every broom closet and unlocked room, since I had no idea how the armoury should look like or where they''d put it. The clueless sprite was of no help either. At least it was having fun destroying the fully furnished rooms I''ve left behind.


    I''d come across so much luxury in the shiny, spotless facilities. There was so much of everything. Neatly stacked shelves of food, uniforms, towels, linen, trinkets I had no name for. It would have set me up for life... All of us. If only he left the city intact. A part of it. Smallest one. That distant street by the wall. Why did he even check the shitty part of town? There was barely anyone! Just several handfuls of unfortunates.


    I had no use for any of it now. Slammed the door and ceiling bestowed shower of concrete upon me. It was all his fault. He did this.


    When the bounty was finally discovered I was beyond exhausted. It had to have been at least night on the surface, if not whole other day. Whoever built this base was compensating for something. Survivability? Point in fact, my vitality disproportionately dwarfed that scrawny ass I sported.


    Armoured entrance did not stop the fire fiend from checking. I peeked in too. Before I could get over my awe of finally finding this secluded place an explosion rapped, followed by dozens of little pops. Sparks whizzed through the air.


    Instead of crouching down like a sensible person I crossed my arms and shouted at the fire man who was joyfully licking the tall ceiling, "Changed your mind about keeping me alive now that you got your toys?"


    There was no way to tell if otherworldly creatures had concept of a bargain. Best to keep the incentive alive, "I''ll show more once you lead me to the... other mouth."


    The abashed blaze marginally subsided. Rustling attempted speech but barely audible words were too muffled by countless racks of firearms. It couldn''t be important anyway.


    Did I know any other bases? No. Could I point in a random direction and hope to never come across this fireball again? Sure. Likely won''t even need to worry about that if things go right. I had no reason to survive the coming encounter. There only ever was us or them. And now I was all alone. I was ready to watch other cities get razed to the ground if need be.


    "Gimme some time, okay? Gonna pick up some toys too!" I shouted towards the warm oranges at the other end of the room. Lights still worked in this structurally sound area, but the racks cast a lot of darkness. Shadows jumped up around the creature in lieu of audible answer.


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    Considered picking up a gun for the journey. Even forgetting the fact I didn''t know how to use them, they all seemed clunky and would be in the way during the trek. My strength has always been stealth and speed. Not that I could outrun a determined monster.


    I walked past the half-emptied isles of increasingly bigger weapons when those abruptly ended. Back of the hall was crates. Munitions. Some as big as my forearm. Some bigger. Walls had shelves with smaller boxes for presumably grenades. Order was disturbed everywhere I looked. A lot of containers were opened and strewn about. Nothing seemed to be effective against Great No-Longer-Asleep Brain.


    Except that one thing, at least marginally. This would be perfect gift to the snail. Perhaps exactly what it needed to gain an upper hand.


    I began checking contents frantically until finally coming across a tightly sealed packaging. I relentlessly clawed at it. I was after pinkish canisters. There was no way I could forget those.


    Box popped open and chunky bulk revealed only two containers inside. I huffed. That''s not nearly enough to take out a monster of monumental proportions. I emptied crate of hurtful calibre and fit sixteen death cloud flasks. Then couldn''t lift it. World always had to be cruel to my plans.


    One or a bunch, probably won''t make a difference. But perhaps snail could precision spray him? Ended up strolling out with two of original boxes in each hand. "Make some noise when you''re ready to leave. I''ll be deeper in the city," I shouted in the increasing cacophony of mishandled ammo. I needed to be far away when fireling set everything ablaze and turned this place into a hellish spa.


    Whether portable fireplace patiently waited until I was on the other side of the planet or just indulged in smaller calibre appetizers, when the explosion finally hit sometime the next day, all the windows shattered and the ghost town finally looked the part. Before that the city looked so disgustingly normal. I could delude myself into thinking the unreasonable. I still waited. But now it was clear - nobody would be coming back.


    I could not stand being around empty houses any longer. I gone back to wait by the crater. It grew. There was not a sign of life. Could the walking hazard even be counted alive? I began worrying that taking entire roomful of dynamite to the face could have been a little too ambitious for the little pile of embers. The military had to have tried heavy artillery on it though, right? But not everything all at once. Should have at least asked which way he''d seen the traces of another.


    My teeth were chattering in the breaking dawn when the crumbling woke me from the light slumber. Sounds of shifting boulders changed into roar of boiling liquid. Something was spilling out, making a way through the indiscernible mass. As much as I hoped for it to be an errant volcano, a giant pillar made me want to run and not look back. I forced myself to be still and watch it. After all, this was what I waited for.


    One thick trunk made up from unexploded munitions and boulders lifted up a mass of radiant, still swirling lava atop it, then the other leg stepped out of the glowing depths. The sight of the towering rock made my heart race.


    Something will fall on my head. The animate rock will trample me and won''t even notice.


    It gurgled along ominously. The sound alone forced a shudder, the longer I listened the more it sounded like burbling of a stomach - something I had been intimately reacquainted in the deathly still cell. Giant creature''s outer layer began to cool and crack.


    I needed to get out of here. To be somewhere else. What the fuck was I thinking? Why am I getting involved with monsters? Again?! I stood up but my legs refused to do anything else. When the giant climbed all the way out of the pit, its size was even more staggering. And it walked. Away.


    "Hey," I croaked out in a whisper, feeling all my opportunities slip away. I wasn''t doing this for myself. It didn''t matter what became of me.


    "Hey, wait!" I said little firmer and started walking the perimeter of the explosive indentation. Then ran. Few steps and the golem was outside of the base''s perimeter. I won''t catch up. No no no no. I picked up some speed and cursed with all my might.


    "This way, this," once the pounding of my heart retreated from the ears I could finally distinguish words in the ominous roar of the lava.


    Swirling mass cracked and piece fell down with a boom, to my relief nowhere near me. After that I was content to trail far behind. Distance grew when I couldn''t keep the pace up and then I just walked, especially when plains changed into a god damn forest. The giant unabashedly ploughed through the thicket, stomping it out of existence, singeing or burying under misplaced rocks altogether. It wasn''t difficult to follow, but clambering through the obstacles a different matter altogether.


    The trek wasn''t too bad during the day, however those were growing awfully short now. Darkness fell and I started noticing hell of a lot dearly missed noises from all directions. Forest wasn''t as quiet as city of the dead but it wasn''t as comforting as I had imagined. I tried to not make a sound.


    This was all so dangerous. This was a terrible idea. I was so alone. The last monster I travelled with at least bothered to keep me safe. I then cursed, not wanting to remember the rat bastard fondly. I could see my breath and that meant the moment I stop I''ll get to enjoy a bone-chilling, restless sleep. So much to look forward to.


    Being the sole survivor out of entire city I contemplated luck. Did that mean I had it, after all? Didn''t feel like such a win. Couldn''t I have found a thick wallet instead? My fingers noted an absence of flat round object in the pocket. Did walking through all those shards count as seven hundred years of bad luck? Sole survivor... Was I the bad luck itself?


    At least the moon was out and I wasn''t forced to stop, albeit my face was still getting scritch scratched by branches every whichever way. Not that I cared, it was a fine addition to the nail marks. There goes my sale value and the career prospects. Of course, I could still wear a bag over my head. Felt myself grimacing like a loon. I won''t need to. There was no coming back from this. Me being alive this long was already stretching it.


    Was I alive? It was far more likely I was trapped inside one monster or another and made to run in circles. I stopped, breathless. This was a definite possibility. Maybe everyone was okay then? Oh, how great would that be! I''d embrace the option wholeheartedly. I said so to the trees and whoever has been making those awful sounds all around.


    "You hear me?! Isn''t this enough? This much is fine, right? You''ve convinced me!" I shouted on and on but nothing popped out of the dark. Which was suspicious on its own.


    Having exhausted my screaming potential I resumed the ordeal, putting one leg in front of the other and again. I wasn''t afraid of the rustling anymore. Talked to it more often than not.


    Came across an animal... or was it two? It wasn''t like anything I''ve ever seen before. Both toothy undulating parts looked in a hurry to be somewhere else. Figuring out I would not be joining it in its endeavours from within the stomach pouch I also made my rapid disappearance.


    Eventually came across what appeared to be landslide and a dead end. The ground wafted heat and embers glowed in the centre of the unnatural pile-up. As far as traps went, this one was at least cosy. Completely spent I climbed up and, after nothing swallowed me whole, I plopped my ass down. My feet burned with pain of overuse and I groaned in relief to be off them however briefly. Shrugged out of the bag pack, pulled up the jacket''s hoodie and lied down in the ashes. Warmth helped me relax and unconsciousness took me immediately.


    After that impressive showing of the first day, the fireling kept to a much smaller body and it was harder to track it. It still waited for me to catch up in some irregular intervals. The days it didn''t burn bright and had shorter legs were easier. Other times I''d find uprooted patches in the forest and sweat for it. It was hard to hold conversations when the companion wasn''t a roaring fire pit and I was always too exhausted to even bother, so we didn''t talk.


    This fine morning I found the fireball walked no more. The hearth on legs stood still near an odd patch of discoloured grass. Since it was early and I wasn''t yet buried deep in my permanent fatigue and looping thoughts, I planted my heavy legs next to it and turned head to inquire.


    "Here, here, here," flames hissed in the drizzle. Here? I turned back lazily. There was a smattering of trees. And that was about it.


    The pines in the distance were darker. Wet wood usually was, so I didn''t pay much attention at the start. However... The whole region ahead seemed off-kilter. There was a red tint to this. "Oh," I''ve gasped out.

 13 R 2

    Up until this point I still expected something normal. Another town with average looking guy whose face betrayed all the debilitating weariness the unending servitude caused. This, on the other hand, gave me a sneaking suspicion I¡¯d be encountering another snail that trailed crimson mucus all over the place.


    ¡°Right. Thanks,¡± I muttered. I had no idea where we ended up at, but we had passed a road with a lot of old signs on it not that long ago. ¡°That way should be another big city,¡± I pointed. It didn¡¯t move. I was a little glad - going forth all on my own into a haunted demesne was just a little daunting. Something was off here. I felt watched but there was nothing besides sparse trees. I would very much have liked to turn back abound about ten steps ago.


    ¡°Knock, knock?¡± I called out into the morning fog. Nothing. Why was there fog anyway? How typical. Not like seeing would aid me in any way, but I could have done with less eeriness.


    I crept on forward carefully. Right until I found out I can¡¯t lift my legs anymore, only barely keeping myself upright at all from the force which gripped me.


    ¡°Now that¡¯s a little rude,¡± I muttered discontentedly and yanked the foot again, then got an idea. ¡°Of me, of course. Haha. Tracking mud all over your wonderful carpet. Kids these days, huh? No manners.¡±


    I unlaced the boot and stepped out of onto the red grass. Brief relief being out of the bulky military boot and then the ground clung to me like superglue again. As delayed pain hit me I realised it was worse than just that ¨C and worse than the constricting heavy footwear. The grass clung like a million teeth. Panic blinded me. I¡¯d be eaten, and then this creature would be eaten, and everything would have been for naught.


    I calmed myself. This was always a possibility. And if nothing else I¡¯d be the fodder to a thing which would be taking a bite or two out of the Nerve Matter. This was fine. None of this was real anyway. I was likely already eaten, probably ever since witnessing that girl plop down onto the ground like an overcooked noodle.


    All this pain though!


    The teeth ripped deeper into my flesh and I exhaled, forcing myself relax. ¡°I really need to talk to your body. It¡¯s in danger. I might be able to help,¡± I insisted but the pain hadn¡¯t ceased. Perhaps increased. Darts of pain were up to my knee now. I screamed internally. Was this perhaps the snail and it wasn¡¯t taking kindly to me, the cause of its current problems? Damn, I hadn¡¯t thought about that.


    Failed plans tore down my stoic fa?ade and I gripped the knee, hoping to strangle the agony. Tried to rip the leg upwards again, lost balance and steadied myself by plunging palm onto more of that damned ground. Tongues of pain twined around my fingers and reached bone immediately. It leapt upwards. I inhaled to scream when it all stopped. The pain, the constriction and I plunked backwards onto my butt.


    Little brother, I thought out of the blue and suffered confusion immediately. There was nothing to remind me of such a thing. I¡¯ve never had anyone to consider as such. Ruby was closest to a brother I¡¯d ever have, and he¡¯d be the elder one. The rest of the kindergarten was his, so¡­ little nephews as far as I was concerned. All of whom were dead now. Emotion clouded my eyes momentarily and I blinked it away. I need to make him pay.


    Right. There was a single percent this wasn¡¯t a delusion, or a dream, or a very intricate trap therefore I need to get a grip. As much as reality tried to slip away from me these days, I need to cling to this.


    I heard fire roar some ways behind me and saw pyre sway violently closer than where I¡¯d left it. Red grass around was singed and wittered. Was this why I wasn¡¯t yet eaten?


    ¡°Thanks,¡± I waved to it.


    My foot dripped red too. The sock was shredded. Not that I cared, being so close to finish line, but I¡¯d need to hold onto my consciousness for little while longer and blood loss did not go well with that. Undid the scarf, twined it around injury and stuffed the chewed up leg back into its boot. Mistakes were made. Monsters weren¡¯t great at horsing around. Got it.


    And yet I wasn¡¯t glued to the surface anymore. My hand was also hurt, but much less so. I reluctantly touched the pain grass with it yet again. So perhaps I hadn¡¯t gotten anything from the very recent and still vivid exchange from just minutes ago.


    Little brother, I thought again and it finally dawned upon me those weren¡¯t my thoughts. Random words interjected into my sentences and nothing made sense. I had to pull away the hand, because the swirling mess of two consciousnesses talking at same time gave me a brain freeze and perhaps even a seizure.


    It was very unlike how snail talked, who provided mostly images. And snail did not hijack my own processes to convey whatever it needed to. This felt very crude and was definitely speech. I had little doubt a human was on the other side of the phone.


    ¡°Can we meet eye to eye?¡± I asked looking around and seeing nothing else. What if there was nothing human about this mouth anymore at all? What if he was the red grass and black shiny trees?


    I touched the ground again and heard yes. My mind was clear as a lake on windless day. Come, voice said. Leave your friend there.


    Does it still want to eat me and the fireling was what¡¯s stopping it? Very likely, but I just needed fifteen minutes of attention anyway.


    Why would I eat you when we¡¯re part of same body? The distorted echo asked and I pulled my hand away, snapping the malleable threads that burrowed inside my throbbing flesh. The bloody landscape clearly did not know certain things and that would be hard to explain. Perhaps I did need backup for the conversation.


    ¡°Could you maybe come over here?¡± I asked the still air. Wherever it was, the mouth clearly heard me. ¡°Or we can just shout at each other. I don¡¯t mind.¡±


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    There was no reply. It didn¡¯t discourage me ¨C chance to speak uninterrupted was exactly what I needed.


    ¡°Great! I¡¯ll go first,¡± I considered telling him that I wasn¡¯t a mouth and that was why I can¡¯t come closer, but it could be very short intro. How do I even begin to retell that major clusterfuck? I rubbed my forehead with wet fingers and now my face was all bloody. ¡°As I¡¯ve mentioned, your body is in trouble¡­ It tried to help me, and in process seems to have angered¡­ uh, another creature which supposedly laid claim on my flesh first. Or something.¡±


    I looked at my - thus far ¨C unbloodied, merely baked hand and put it down onto the toothy grass. Perhaps snail¡¯s mouth would just figure out the rest without me talking about things I could barely comprehend.


    Grass dug into my palm and I kept my mind blank in case snail¡¯s minion had any additional input. No words came, it just gripped me tightly. Just like at the start. Except there was no pain. No tearing into the bone, just¡­ holding?


    ¡°I¡­ knew¡­ some¡­ thing¡­ was¡­ wrong¡­ but¡­ not¡­ what¡­¡± the moor exhaled each word and I felt spiders crawling up my back. I tried to yank my hand away and back up, but no give. Fingers gripped it in place. Not very human-looking, but five strings that I had no other word for nonetheless. ¡°Not¡­ your¡­ fault¡­¡± Grassland labouredly exhaled again.


    Surprise dyed me just like the colour red the land. This person was trying to comfort me? As though I was a little brother. I gripped boneless appendages and squeezed back.


    ¡°It is,¡± I insisted. I could have refused and had decency to just die. Now everybody will become fodder because of my selfishness.


    ¡°It¡­ knew¡­ what¡­ would¡­ happen¡­¡±


    ¡°Even so, the snail is a good person and doesn¡¯t deserve this!¡±


    A small amused exhale that came from¡­ a rising bump in front of me which I didn¡¯t even realise to be forming. ¡°I call it that, too,¡± much clearer but still malleable, dragging words came out from it. The hillock twitched back and forth and I started to discern head and the shoulders. The process was slow. Where horned devil instantaneously could change its form or even spit out an entire copy in a flash, this seemed almost painful. I was too locked up in a fearful awe to be speaking and the mouth took those silent minutes to do its thing undisturbed.


    The protrusion which I assumed to be the head lifted. Shiny ooze stretched and about dozen of eyes opened up, scattered all the way through the chest and back into the grass. Deformed, leaking features turned to face me. I held back a shudder of repulsion.


    ¡°You misunderstand,¡± a hole in the face moved pretending to be mouth. It was so terribly mispronounced I barely caught it. I was too in shock to argue and human shaped creature invested all that time to gain firmer shape.


    ¡°It knew the other one,¡± now fully understandable, feminine voice sang. ¡°The slumbering brain. It tried to help it, get its attention. It succeeded.¡± The face with far too many eyes but clear-cut, dainty bone lines smiled sadly at me. ¡°It couldn¡¯t have gone any other way,¡± she finished with a note of finality, but to me it just affirmed that the crawling snot really did know what it was getting into and how it would end.


    ¡°But¡­ why?¡± I was appalled. Why risk it all?


    The girl¡¯s many eyes turned to gaze somewhere far, only few staying fixed on me. ¡°They used to be one,¡± grassland girl said eventually as though it explained everything.


    ¡°As in¡­ together?¡± Some monster equivalent of dating? Did I land in a middle of a meaningless squabble? Which would be fine and dandy and I wish I could just back the hell out of this, but all my friends were dead.


    The woman smiled gently as though she was privy to secrets and laid her head down onto the red moss. If I didn¡¯t know better I¡¯d think rest of the body was beneath the turf. Instead, she must have been this entire scene. But it did look comfortable.


    ¡°Not in the way you think,¡± crimson lips enunciated. ¡°You are so young, little brother.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not your¡­¡± Should I really be correcting the assumption which could possibly be keeping me alive?


    ¡°You are more than you are not. The last to consume and put us back together has been same being.¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t really sound as moving as you imply,¡± I grumbled.


    Relaxed, napping face with many alert eyes had a slight smirk. ¡°Did you have a say in which family to be born?¡± My shoulders hunched, the glistening bust of a lady went on without pausing, ¡°That world¡­ doesn¡¯t procreate in human sense. There is no need to be together. They rip out desired parts from one another, or discard unwanted chunks of themselves. Some of these develop self-awareness, especially when there¡¯s much of brain mass involved.¡±


    ¡°Oh, so¡­ They¡¯re¡­ Uh. Related? Used to be one. I get it. Wait. So, snail¡­ is the child?¡±


    The woman¡¯s slight smile did not change but I got the impression I was correct. The longer I pondered the notion the more upset I got. The loathsome monster which plagued me turned out to be deserving much more hatred than I already had for it. The abandoned baby monster seeking any shred of attention from its uncaring parent, for the latter just to lash out in most terrible way.


    At least my parents properly fucked off, leaving me no chance to try and cling to them. My younger self would have done something equally heart-breaking.


    ¡°And you¡¯re cool with that?!¡± I shouted suddenly, invigorated by fresh wave of anger. ¡°You¡¯ll die!¡± I was vaguely aware how hypocritical that sounded, but the faintly smiling woman did not seem unhappy to exist as an ominous meadow. Or whatever these snot-trailing creatures were up to.


    ¡°I am but a mouth, little brother,¡± she spoke melodiously. Not happy nor sad. Not particularly resigned either. Likely she had parted with the emotions altogether. ¡°I can¡¯t find you within. You shall be safe. Unless Nervous System comes looking for you separately¡­ But we can change your smell further, if you like. You¡¯ll be safe.¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I screamed. ¡°That¡¯s not what I want at all. You think I walked all this way to get to another monster because I wanted safety? I need that thing to suffer. No matter what cost. And tell the god damn snail to snap out of the craving for mommy and do something to survive.¡±


    ¡°It has been listening,¡± woman on the ground said and I squirmed. Thankfully these creatures did not subscribe to erratic emotional outbursts and hopefully took no offence. I barely cared, really, but I needed these creatures on board.


    I cleared throat and addressed the silent participant, ¡°The only way that conceited bastard will ever remotely notice you if you kick its teeth in,¡± Then fixed my burning glare onto the many eyes of the lady, ¡°You know I¡¯m right. Both of us can convince it, I¡¯m sure of it,¡± I said completely groundlessly.


    She snickered through what seemed to be light sleep, ¡°Would you listen to a body part? All your cells are screaming in pain, you disregard it completely to go on this suicidal quest.¡±


    What a winning argument. Everything did hurt. Exhaustion, sprains, cuts, burns, lack of water and food. ¡°I¡¯d already be dead if not for this,¡± I insisted, but changed gears to think of the helpfully offered alien¡¯s perspective. Did the snail have similar drive which kept up its existence? Being unwanted orphan did open me up for reckless situations, until somebody showed up to hold my hand and tethered me to this existence.


    ¡°I need you. I need the help of two of you,¡± I appealed. ¡°All of us can get through this.¡±


    ¡°What can you do, little human?¡± napping woman asked humourlessly. ¡°My body is old and powerful, so much so that the mere movement of these two beings towards each other are wiping many others out of existence. Their meeting will decimate that world.¡±


    ¡°So? What does the life of others matter when your own is at stake? Have they ever lifted a finger to help you survive?¡± I threw out callously. I only ever had sympathy for those who have been kind to me first, and such people were far and few in between. In fact, snail was the last one of those.


    ¡°Can you even imagine how much greater the parent body is, to discard so much as though it was a mere fingernail?¡±


    This bit of information did burst my bubble. Perhaps it was a pipe dream all along. I pursed my lips, freed the hand woman was still holding onto and began digging around in the bag pack.


    ¡°There¡¯s still something,¡± I said, clinging onto last shred of hope. ¡°When I was caught, military men threw this at us. It¡¯s some sort of deadly gas. Knocked Brainiac straight out. Perhaps if we get more¡­ or just nuke the fucker? He kept saying anything can die. One way or the other, the fireball over there wants to visit another armoury and we can grab whatever we want there too.¡± Yes, excellent! All the variables were finally aligning, this might really be it. This monster dream team would be unstoppable by puny locals.


    The slumbering woman propped herself up, now with hands and watched me pull out the container. She was intrigued, but half of her eyes watched me sceptically¡­ or with a disappointment.


    ¡°Human weapons would be great,¡± she said eventually, ¡°but I can¡¯t transfer it over.¡±


    I looked at the canister. ¡°Be¡­ because it¡¯s¡­ not meat?¡± How had I ever managed to overlook such obvious thing? Dammit. No, that can¡¯t be right! The absence of coin burned my pocket.


    ¡°You are so young,¡± she exhaled, relaxing into a pretend slumber again. ¡°I¡¯d need to consume it, which is deconstructing to most basic components and recreating anew in the other place. But if it¡¯s poison effective on Fearsome Nerves, I¡¯d just wither first.¡±


    Fuck. I sighed and laid down on the wet grass to look at the grey sky. Was this truly the end?


    The two-legged pyre was uncharacteristically crackly and I pooled concentration that way. ¡°Human gateway,¡± it kept repeating. The unlikely helper might have been pumped up after mention of a nuke and I didn¡¯t blame it. That would be pretty sweet, even if I had no idea where those had been kept.


    ¡°Too far,¡± woman whispered in reply, dashing all the remaining hopes. ¡°I feel his approach on the waves.¡±


    ¡°Fuck,¡± I couldn¡¯t hold back muttering. Time constraint completely scratches off the plan to force-march this mouth to hefty settlements and have it grow in mass like the first one. Whether the weight categories were that insanely different was but an unproven claim, after all.


    Lady in red paint snickered gently, ¡°My body has ideas.¡±

 14 O

    It was far too dark and I knew I had gone blind. Waving hands in front of my nose did nothing but cause disorientating disservice. Felt like I was perpetually falling already. Reached out to grab onto anything and my fingers sank into slippery material. I could not tell if that impeded the descent in the least. I could still draw in air, so that had to account for something? But it reeked so impossibly strong I started wishing to drown instead. I screamed but could not hear myself over the whooshing and thundering.


    What the hell was happening?!


    As though removed by a benevolent hand, the all-out assault on my senses ceased, along with all of the dismay. That clued me in, together with the final memories I seemed to possess. I knew I had to be angry, or at least very scared, but there was nothing.


    ¡°Why is there two of me?¡± I challenged harshly and it sounded underwater. I think I was curled up into a ball but could not be sure.


    ¡°That was a mouth of another,¡± the reply came from afar but was still so powerful that my bones vibrated and teeth buzzed. I bit down hard to stop the nasty sensation and it tasted... not quite bloody.


    Once I was able to think again again I realised I must have been turned into a mouth, too. I felt anger simmer and peter out again. I concentrated on choosing to logically hate my captor. It wasn¡¯t hard.


    ¡°I did not consume you. Your current existence is but a memory of my own,¡± a more familiar, but still horridly echoing snarl somewhere closer-by informed me.


    What the fuck does that even mean?


    All I could think of was the look the other me had on that baby face. The wide eyes were so horrified to see me, and even more to witness me go. He didn¡¯t seem forced nor puppeteered, or wouldn¡¯t have reached out for me. Which meant this son of a bitch had to be lying to me. Whatever situation he¡¯s been in, I was hands down worse off. Either way, I had no inclination to be the pretty little mouthpiece on a leash.


    What even was that place?


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    I was just on the cobblestones, having good time and thinking that perhaps horned devil wasn¡¯t all that bad. Then this happens. I had distinct impression some time has passed since then. Which meant I was definitely the copy. Dammit.


    What the hell am I going to do now?


    But there was no frantic panic in my thoughts. Just cold, hard facts. Thought process worked so differently to what I was used to, I could hardly concentrate. Was I even myself anymore? No, there was somebody more fitting that description now. So what was I, then? An appendix to this creature. The only thing left for me to do was to burst.


    There was no driving emotion behind my actions, but wresting with the falling sensation I stood and faced the towering horns nearby. I punched him, kicked, but the creature have not inched. I clawed with nails, but the damp environment made them soft and even more useless. I leaped and hung onto a horn, intending to snap it off and drive it through whatever passed for his hollow heart. The damned thing was far sturdier than it felt.


    Unlike the time in the fields, my chicken bones weren¡¯t shattered with an offhand flick. I was not even verbally reprimanded. My efforts meant nothing to this thing.


    ¡°You are me now. I have no reason to hurt myself,¡± crafty monster uttered.


    ¡°I do,¡± I oozed spite.


    No rage to drive my actions forward, I stopped and that was when demonic figure moved for the first time. His disturbingly human hands clasped mine in some mockery of tenderness. I knew I should be feeling disgust, but there was none so I failed to recoil. If it wanted resignation, I had plenty of it.


    I could still joke around and pretend nothing was wrong, but some days were just too clear to bother gaslighting myself. I was back in the cage of some damp basement. Cruel overlords were once again shuffling my fate and every action. I had no control. He was so deep inside me there was no way to ever get him out.


    I ripped my hands out of the grasp and began clawing at my skin with the soft nails. Fingertips hurt more than the skin. I looked around for a rock to bash my skull into.


    ¡°You¡¯ve lied to me,¡± growl intoned calmly and I almost didn¡¯t pay attention to it, but for the first time I was allowed to feel the depths of my revulsion.


    Of course I did! Who do you think you are?! I wanted to shout, but by habit instead I said, ¡°Nonsense. Why would I ever lie to my best buddy?¡± Was feeling a little bit more like myself past minute. Even a little gleeful¡­ No, not that. This wasn¡¯t my emotion. It was his. He was letting me glimpse outside of this body¡¯s limits. Barf.


    He enjoyed this. At least I was back in control of my loathing faculties.


    ¡°I¡¯ve never lied to you,¡± demon drawled out.


    Oh, no. You just forced me live my worst nightmare. I said nothing out loud. It was blatantly obvious he was reading my mind. His own mind?


    ¡°It would be easier for me to accommodate you if you were truthful,¡± demon said as though this whole situation was my idea. To begin with, was it even me he had that conversation with? I was certainly drawing blanks on related topics.


    I hate you, I thought in response.


    ¡°Stubborn as ever. Even when that means solving your predicaments.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to be here,¡± I spat out truthfully.


    ¡°One little thing and we can go back to your world,¡± demon declared.


    ¡°Typical,¡± I muttered in response, rubbing my face. I didn¡¯t care what he was up to and mostly suspected it to be a lie anyway. Desperation settled in my chest like immovable weight and I succumbed to my knees. There was nothing to look forward to. This dark, damp cave for rest of my days? I already teetered on the ledge of sanity way before getting here.


    ¡°Let me go. Please. I don¡¯t want to be alive.¡±

 15 O

    It was far too dark one moment and the next my vision swam with indiscernible colours which provided me only the bare shapes of the chamber I was in. I looked down at my hands but that only intensified sensation of me being on drugs. Sometimes I saw right through it, other times they glowed. Queasiness was only intensified by the strange sensation of motion as though the building was gliding. I had to be drunk. And how the fuck did I end up here? Cultists weren¡¯t throwing any party last I checked.


    Reached out to grab onto the glossy wall nearby and found myself already holding onto it. With my spare hand. Interesting.


    Since I was tripping balls, did not see a reason not to enjoy this. I will be able to panic about ending up underground under suspicious circumstances at some later date. Jumped around and twirled to a strange beat, examining the ever-changing surroundings. Tripping over my own legs and falling did not hurt. In fact, I started doubting the chamber was made out of stone at all. However, I could not pin it down. Sometimes I saw it as glossy or wet, other times translucent. Sometimes my hands glowed green too much for me to see anything. In fact, the longer this went on the less they looked like hands.


    Ruby will kill me if he finds out about any of this. It¡¯s good that he¡¯s dead, then.


    The sobering thought did nothing to change the state I was in. The high was not diminishing, at all. Perhaps something was in the air? It did smell slightly off. Perhaps I should start to begin considering to be worried.


    ¡°As entertaining as this has been, you are not inebriated,¡± raspy speech informed me. ¡°Although you are flooding yourself with all sorts of chemicals.¡±


    Startled, I looked around, seeing my demon for the first time. I have not felt him sneak up on me. For someone so rigid and bulky the creature moved awfully silently when he desired so. Wasn¡¯t even ticking or anything - but there have been plenty of other noise to distract me.


    ¡°Oh yea? How do you explain this?¡± I flapped both of my left arms. A nasty suspicion was starting to creep up on me, but I held on tight to the jolly mood. Always had to fake it to make it, today was no exception! Just, considering the massive implications, it came to me far easier than usual.


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    I could be dreaming. The washed out level of perception did check all the boxes. God, I wanted to touch him. Run my¡­ three palms through that rough texture. Oh, what the hell? It was some sort of vivid delusion anyway.


    I fell forward face first and gave it my best hug. It was strange not to feel low vibration from within. Like embracing hollow mannequin, especially when he was so still. Far less warm than I remember it too. Neutral temperature. It was not as pleasant as I imagined, but before I started to pull away his arms returned the gesture.


    ¡°Explain what?¡± he asked.


    I did raise my head to gape at the dark hoodie and waved again. ¡°A third fucking arm?¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with it.¡±


    My mouth hung open. So there was a third hand. As I stared, frozen in place, I started to notice another unusual happenstance. I could see into the gaping darkness of monster¡¯s obscured face.


    There was none. What¡¯s worse, my swimming vision kept shifting and giving me more and more visuals which will feed my nightmares for the foreseeable future. Not even the skull was there. Nothing remotely human. I suppose I should have gotten some clue to what I would find when he¡¯d bared the hollow, toothy insides of the core body. Still, the findings unsettled my stomach. That was not at all how I imagined him.


    I closed my eyes and willed it all to go away. The smell, the noise, the feeling on my skin, the motion, awareness of great many moving fingers, my laboured breathing which happened somewhere far far away¡­


    Panicked, I looked around and for a moment got the encompassing, infinite blackness again. I was blind! Before that spiralled out, my lids reopened and fed me even more grotesque sights. I saw myself. From outside. Three arms and all. But not just that. Something else was very wrong with me.


    ¡°Make me wake up,¡± I gripped onto the unyielding figure and attempted to shake him. Each move has shown more and more give, just like my human figure bulking up each jerk. I let go, recoiled and forced all the outside eyes to close. Looked at my three glowing arms, now all veiny with haphazardly intersecting sentient sinew that kept on climbing over itself to be more defined than the rest.


    ¡°Stop! Make this stop!¡± I screamed, burying my claws into forearms and ripping all that growth off like old rags. There was no blood, not red anyway. Translucent liquid covered injuries and the bones. Rest of my flesh began sliding off them. I didn¡¯t even attempt to stop it. I wanted none of it. It disgusted me. I did not want to be this monstrous freak.


    Demon¡¯s palm caught one of mine and twined fingers together.


    ¡°Stop flailing. You can be any form you desire. Concentrate on it,¡± commanding growl insisted. It was comforting to hear, but for the life of me I could not follow the seemingly simple instruction. Biggest problem was, I did not want to be any form. I did not want to be here.


    ¡°Why are you doing this to me?¡± I asked of a presence I almost wanted to call a friend. Illogical, really, but even now he didn¡¯t feel purposefully malicious.


    ¡°I am not doing a thing. This is all you,¡± he told me coldly and I lost scraps of the form I was still holding. He then forced me back together. No, not that. He kept me how I was from spilling any further. I felt like water trying to climb out of the bowl. Kept all my eyes shut tight if I still had any. Refused to see the actual visuals of that.


    Somehow I was aware there being insanely huge body of water very close to skin and I desired with all my might to spill into it. Dissolve. Vanish.


    ¡°Stop that!¡± I heard, felt, smelled the roar. Every receptor lit up with pain and half of my sensations disappeared like lights going out. The little puddle that was me who was forbidden from going outside to play, curled into itself and trembled.

 16 O 1

    I was walking but for the life of me I could not figure out where I was going. At least the scenery was nice. Unsettling, but nice. Sunny grassland, with something just a wee bit off about it. My vision had blurry quality to it, even if there was little to see. Whenever I concentrated, the scene came into sharper focus and looked the way it should have. Nothing drastic, just noticeable.


    The bushes tad too big? Became sprawling lilacs the next moment. Gaggle of birds soaring through the sky? Leaves, just leaves. Butterflies of surreal colours? I¡¯ve only ever seen them white or brown, but did hear of other variations. With that conclusion the sight fluttered and did not change. Right after taking notice of the complete desolation I witnessed old sheds, variety of plants and even animals. I had next to no interaction with the wildlife throughout my life, so they ended up looking quite grotesque. A dog hopped on by. I snickered at that. Poor psyche of mine, it did its best but I was of no help.


    I was fairly sure this was a dream, perhaps a nightmare. I did spend unhealthy amount of time outdoors these days. As daunting as this was, I had no complaints. It was a decent change from my usual haunting visions.


    Where was I now, really? Physically still in the devil worshipping village, although I had no recollection of going to sleep after the wild experience the said devil graciously provided. I must have passed out then and there. Wasn¡¯t worried. I knew wherever I ended up, the demon would keep me safe. For some reason he always did.


    He was also here in this placid dream, trailing behind me unobtrusively. The great outdoors was still not my scene, but this walk felt oddly normal. New normal, one could say.


    I sidled towards the menacing figure and scooped up a tense palm into my own. Warmth spread out from the touch and I squeezed tighter. The contact was unreasonably pleasant. Might need to resort to this when I¡¯m awake, too. After all, thus far he did me no wrong.  Perhaps the monster just had a terrible case of foot in the mouth. And why was I worrying about future anyway?


    I absentmindedly rubbed my fingers across stranger¡¯s skin and passive observer in my mind noted differences on it. Longer digits, flawless skin, knuckles unbroken. I looked down, but image did not shift. Huh. My sleeping mind gave him other attributes. Strange, but these fit more.


    ¡°So. Are we off to update your terribly, terribly dated wardrobe?¡± I decided to bypass asking about the hands or wonder why the coarse overcoat remained the same. Dream logic, am I right?


    ¡°If you wish,¡± growl ticked dispassionately.


    No bite and instead of annoying the demon, I got miffed myself. Threw head backwards and stared at the ominously nebulous sky. The clouds looked like spilled paint. Their attempts to get into more concrete shape was even more bizarre. My irritation all but forgotten, I still couldn¡¯t hold back curiosity, ¡°Seriously, where are we off to?¡±


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    ¡°You were the one leading the way,¡± demon suggested noncommittally. He was bent on serving me my medicine today.


    ¡°Smartass. There¡¯s just one cracked up road to follow. Where does it lead?¡±


    ¡°Where do you want it to lead?¡±


    I huffed out powerlessly and gave up trying to pry answers out of the living statue. It was my dream.


    Frankly I haven¡¯t given my wants much thought since setting my world on fire. Sure, I wanted to get away, however it wasn¡¯t so much about the destination but rather the escape itself. Again. I had nowhere to be. I just didn¡¯t want to be. Especially under anyone¡¯s heel. I refuse to live like that for no reason.


    The devil was back to the warm embrace of his cultists, now what?


    ¡°That¡¯s not up to me though, is it?¡± my spite spilled out all over the overgrown ancient pathway.


    ¡°What if it was?¡± Demon did not deny the accusation and that placated me. Being on a same page always helps. ¡°This is a dream. You can want anything,¡± creature added.


    Stuck my hands into jacket pockets and I gave it a fraction of thought. Answer came unbidden. Silhouette tried to come into a focus and I clapped my hands to chase away the ghosts.


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing I want anymore!¡± I proclaimed much more cheerfully than I should have been. There was still a man-sized hole somewhere inside of me but it wasn¡¯t a pit of despair anymore¡­ and I didn¡¯t hate feeling this light. So untethered I could float away. It cemented the fact ¨C this was indeed some weird dream where neither mine nor his lives mattered. I hated that. Disregarding essential parts of myself turned me into someone else. This wasn¡¯t me anymore. Who even was this? Why was there so much groundless happiness swirling around inside? What was this fool so thrilled about? I gripped my temples and squeezed. No answers came.


    ¡°If you need to latch onto someone to stay alive, what¡¯s wrong with being part of me?¡±


    My world refocused on another problem. I had almost forgotten about this pressing issue in this entirely calming setting and friendly chatter. I grabbed monster by the rough lapels and shook in vain, ¡°Which part of me looks like I want to live for the next sixty thousand years? I¡¯m not sure I wanna do tomorrow!¡±


    ¡°I can make it so it feels very brief to you,¡± he¡¯s said firmly and I got terrible feeling.


    ¡°Yeah, no. No.¡± That sort of imaginative hell was exactly what I was fearful of. ¡°Why? Why me?¡± I demanded powerlessly. Why does it always have to be me?


    ¡°Because you don¡¯t want to,¡± he said and my hands slunk down, strength having abandoned them. I was almost starting to forget that everyone who could, would trample all over me. His hand caught mine and more followed, ¡°I want to make you wish so.¡±


    ¡°Why not do what I wish and just leave me alone?¡±


    Even the dream monster did not have decency to politely bullshit me. Why did this conversation always go this way? Because that¡¯s how things were and I could do only so much denial.


    I was not aware of having walked at all past few moments, but the change in atmosphere signalled we¡¯ve arrived. The air felt moist and refreshing, the sounds reminded me of thunderstorm. I turned to look and there was a waterfall of insane proportions. I could barely see where it ended, if at all.


    See was a generous word. As breath-taking as it was, the stunning vista was still blurry. The great many trickles seemed almost pixelated. It was akin to a gifted child¡¯s drawing ¨C good, but lacking actual skill to bring the ambitious idea to completion. Of course, I never even guessed anything of the sort could exist, much less seen it, so the visuals remained lacking. However, that was trivial. The booming crash and hiss of water, damp feeling on the skin, the sense of scale and the taste of air carried the impression perfectly. I closed my eyes and the scene came alive. This must be how he was seeing it.


    ¡°I¡¯ll show you places if you don¡¯t know where to go,¡± monster¡¯s low growl cut through the roaring boom of water.


    I still felt so light and untroubled that I really could have gone anywhere. With him. Not like I had real choice, but I almost wanted to. Shrugged, deciding to see where this dream takes the happier version of me.

 16 O 2

    ¡°Since I seem to be shopping for a new coat, shall we get something for you, too?¡± monster offered.


    Great idea. New me needs to look different, too. Desperate for distraction, I asked for too enthusiastically, ¡°Can we drop by in some body shop and grab me a new face too?¡± I¡¯ve never been inside any of the optional luxurious shops, scraggly orphan that I was, but surely, skincare isle must include replacement patches at very least.


    ¡°Anything you wish for,¡± rasping intensity assured me and I got impression of him being pleased for whatever reason.


    ¡°Tacky,¡± I frowned at him back.


    Several hazy steps forward and we were inside an empty, but shiny mall. It was a painfully familiar sight. I¡¯d occasionally pickpocket here right until figuring out the layout wasn¡¯t optimal for escape. Sour memories almost ruined the fragile balance of my mind, but then I saw window-case full of life-like masks and burst out laughing. I had no idea how a legal and out-in-the-open organ market would look like, but this didn¡¯t disappoint.


    ¡°Hey, how you think I try it on?¡± I pointed while clearing tears off my eyes. ¡°Get an attendant, who¡¯s actually a surgeon?¡± Because from up close they ceased to look all that artificial and crafted. As tasteless as the merchandise was, the display sold it completely. Clean and sleek body parts didn¡¯t look remotely out of place in this commerce hub.


    Though the dream was starting to drift into more familiar ground. As I looked into empty socket holes, began to wonder about their donors. Too pretty. Nobody would have volunteered those.


    Big hands clasped my shoulders and I jumped, unsuccessfully. ¡°It¡¯s a dream. They¡¯re not real,¡± gritty voice whispered in my ear, pushing away my bloodier delusions. ¡°Just imagine adjusting each of your features to match what you see.¡±


    Apparently it was as easy as thinking about it. My dream - my rules, it would seem. Okay, makes sense. Shrugged and got to flexing my imaginary muscles.


    I wandered into the shop to look for a mirror. The face was wrong all over and appalled scowl only improved it. I laughed again and kept trying to fix it. How much worse my life would have been if I was ugly? Because it wasn¡¯t only my mouth that got me out of various messes. Something about my panicked wide-eyed expression soothed my predators-to-be and victims alike.


    I know for a fact that being actually pretty would have landed me into nastier cages than what I¡¯ve already had displeasure of visiting. People oh so dearly loved keeping beautiful things under lock and key. It was best not to catch the eye of too many.


    What I meant to say was that I liked my face. But now I wasn¡¯t even sure how it looked like anymore. Restored the disfigured features back into semblance of average, then gave it a rest and just browsed the morbid isles. Faces with closed lids looked almost normal. Peaceful. Not at all cadaverous.


    ¡°You¡¯re not getting anything?¡± I asked, keeping an eye on the eerily still set of horns that stuck out above cases even from this far away. Out of habit I kept looking over my shoulder, waiting for an angry shopkeeper to chase my broke ass out, but there was nobody else.


    ¡°Pick something for me,¡± he suggested and I huffed. What a way of getting out of a chore.


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    ¡°What do you usually chose when you want to blend in? You had to have visited big cities before.¡±


    Dismissive huff before he spoke from right behind me, ¡°That¡¯s what mouths are for. I don¡¯t need to blend in with anyone.¡±


    I crossed my arms and stared at the dark hood, ¡°You¡¯re just afraid to have it because you¡¯ve no idea how face works.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± monster admitted unscrupulously. I expected more resistance from this arrogant asshole, but I suppose at least he wasn¡¯t stubborn.


    I kept looking into the impenetrable darkness but failed to form any definite features. His tone oftentimes implied a laid-back smirk, but I couldn¡¯t marry it with the tense, looming mountain in front of me. No, he wasn¡¯t all that tall without the coils, but the rigid presence forced to expect trouble and glares. Spoke too soon. I might be at a loss with the task, too.


    Monster slowly raised arm to pull back the head covering. ¡°How¡¯s this?¡± But he didn¡¯t move face to speak and my lip pulled back in subconscious disgust.


    ¡°What¡¯s this, one of your mouths? That¡¯s cheating.¡± I was unimpressed.


    A finger pointed behind me, to something I had previously stared at. I made a grimace. The creature was far better at shape shifting than me. Well, no surprise there I guess. I looked back at my companion, who had the blankest, most unfocused gaze seeing right into the great beyond. And something was definitely missing. Like, at least one fourth of the twisted up personality.


    Between the lack of horns and inept use of eyes I wondered if he felt as disabled as he looked. Face didn¡¯t fit him either, but I couldn¡¯t zero in what would be more appropriate. Strolled down the morbid isle, quickly browsing everything in sight. Dispassionate neutral faces provided no basis for personality behind them. But there was none anyway, was there?


    I poked one of the flesh masks and cold eyebrow stayed crooked. It wasn¡¯t about how the face looked, but rather the owner¡¯s nonverbal capability of which my monster had none. Not in human terms anyway. This exercise was pointless.


    I turned on my heel to be faced with quietly following shadow. He was frowning, too. Now surprised. Eyebrows lowered and lips set in a thin line. Monster was copying me. Well, there was always that. I sighed and we both grew resigned.


    I picked up his hand and tugged after myself.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go find you some hair,¡± I said, wondering if there were any real shops for such minor cosmetic nonessentials. Was there ever? I knew for a fact the dream had them. And a shop for hands, and feet and eyeballs. I didn¡¯t gawk around me particularly attentively anymore. My nightly visions would always take turn for the worse the longer it went on.


    ¡°There,¡± creature I was dragging along pointed out and I breathed out air I didn¡¯t realise to be holding, although shelves full of human hair were hardly an improvement.


    I brushed away the mental discomfort, donned a fake smile and put the first polychromatic mop on to hide my black hair.


    ¡°What strikes your fancy?¡± I asked with eagerness I didn¡¯t feel. Each time I looked at the unhooded face I got startled at the lack of the majestic crown. He¡¯d need a lot of hair to make up for the loss of that.


    When monster reached for red wig, his fake smile tensed up and I forced myself to relax. He didn¡¯t end up trying that, but one nearby. What we learned several exhibits later was that normal haircuts did not fill in for the extravagance monster ought to possess. Longer hair? Much, much longer.


    ¡°How about that,¡± it was just lengthy straight hair, but the off-white colour reminded me of what he¡¯d shed. ¡°Oh. Can you make yourself hear through that, too?¡±


    ¡°I can,¡± he said and hairstyle thickened, the ends curled.


    I made an impressed sound. Thick mane did look very nice, and moreover it suit the monster. Very human-looking ancient horror. Just one thing¡­


    ¡°Do you think this place got clothes that aren¡¯t made for a cannibal get-together?¡± I really didn¡¯t feel like perusing any more body parts today. At the pace it was going, it wouldn¡¯t be just parts out there anymore.


    Monster¡¯s head did a swivel from left to right and he sighed, ¡°How much do you need to hate on my skin? I¡¯ve had this longer than you¡¯ve been alive.¡±


    ¡°Yea. Or my parent¡¯s parents.¡±


    ¡°Mm¡­¡± He made a sound as if about to speak, then eyes grew distant as though remembering. He was delving deep in this human act.


    ¡°What?¡± I prompted.


    ¡°Your ancestors did not especially like it even when it was peak of the fashion either.¡±


    Understandable, but I had to ask. ¡°You sure it was the coat, and not the horns? And what do you mean¡­ ancestors...¡± as if he¡¯d actually met them. He has, hasn¡¯t he? Loitering around for hundreds of years, he¡¯d have to have met literally everyone. ¡°Great, all I needed to reach peak happiness was to know my family used to be rich and I am a secret princess in the dumpsite.¡±


    Breathtakingly blond demon made another reluctant sound but went on, ¡°No. Your lineage consisted of serfs and labourers.¡±


    ¡°Ah,¡± I exclaimed, unsure which was worse. ¡°What, not even a drop of blue blood?¡± That was impressive all on its own. Not that it didn¡¯t sting.


    ¡°Can¡¯t be sure, but I didn¡¯t smell or taste your ancestry in the upper echelons.¡± Ouch. Predetermined to be a loser. Which suddenly explains so much.


    I frowned, discontent starting to simmer beneath my skin. ¡°Wait, did you stalk my entire bloodline?¡±


    ¡°No, I just checked my memories.¡±


    ¡°Ah,¡± I exclaimed, astonished. Pretty badass. I couldn¡¯t even remember if I went to bed last night. ¡°Oh look, an actual pants store.¡± I ran out after spying something ordinary outside the front windows.

 16 O 3

    After exchanging the dreary scabrous cloak into much smoother leather jacket and pants, I couldn¡¯t really tell who I was looking at anymore. It was a human far too ethereal to be standing in front of me. Luckily, this was a dream.


    It was hard to escape the fact that we spent all this time designing something that looks nice to me. And the way he was looking at me was a bit alarming.


    ¡°If you¡­ uh. Get fringe, or toss some of the locks over the face like this, it wouldn¡¯t really matter what expression you¡¯re making.¡±


    Meddling with the coarse hair brought me far too close. His eyes were a bright shade of red, frame far too still and nostrils remained eerily unmoving. I didn¡¯t comment on that at all. Instead, my palms itched to get onto him. ¡°I want you,¡± I said and clarified for the otherworldly creature wearing human face, ¡°To touch, to fuck.¡±


    Arms clasped on the small of my back. The mouth stretched into smile too wide and real monster poked through, momentarily dissipating the illusion of being just another man. My preferences and standards went out the window ever since I started making money, so weirdness did nothing to smother this attraction.


    Yeah. Keep telling that to yourself, weirdo.


    ¡°Go ahead,¡± unpleasantly smirking lips told me and I kissed them. Even before I could wonder about trying to get under the new studded jacket and finding innards, one of his hands pulled the garb open to reveal more of a human¡¯s body. My wanting hands waited for nothing, getting under and twinning around, grasping for that familiar feel of skin. It felt exactly like holding another man. I missed this so; something was off anyway.


    Before I could start pondering too deeply, man with blond mane dipped down and took me in his mouth. My fingers threaded through the thick locks, wound around and pulled with the absence of thought.


    Things I wanted to do to this man. Brutal, irredeemable things. And I could. In this dream I had all the power to. Somewhere in the periphery I saw person-sized cages. I knew without looking there would also be many different tools. I pulled on blond hair and yanked beautiful man off myself. I could-


    I looked at my tangled hand that was crushing wavy strands which weren¡¯t really hair but rather sensitive antennas. I let go and backed away.


    ¡°Fuck!¡± I shouted, biting on my fist. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said and zipped up, ready to get away from here and never speak of this again. Glancing back at the demon, he still knelt where I¡¯d left him, lips glistening. All submissive and pliable. Shook my head. Didn¡¯t want this to be one of those dreams. Didn¡¯t want to be one of those people.


    ¡°Can we go?¡± I snapped and left into a random direction. Exit showed up as if prompted.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t hurt me,¡± monster rumbled with the previous demonic cadence somewhere behind me. But I knew I did, for I still remembered my crushed wrist from the instance before. ¡°You flatter yourself thinking that you can.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not about you, don¡¯t let it get to your big head.¡±


    Not wanting to go any deeper into that, I boxed up my irritation and smiled. This would end up haunting me for months but I was determined to ignore it in daylight. Looked back at the person silently trailing behind me and immediately missed the coiling horns.


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    ¡°Hey, so since you¡¯re doing human thing, I guess I should go and be a monster now?¡± Yes, cultural exchange! Great idea. Perhaps I could even become creature so foul I¡¯d harbour no feeling and remorse. That¡¯d be the dream.


    Before he¡¯d said anything in reply, I sprouted copy of the horns he usually sported. They did not enhance the hearing. The growth did not stop until prompted either, and bony material was too heavy for my meek neck. I fell on all fours. My skeleton felt brittle and a tooth cracked under pressure. I thought it should have hurt all over, but there was nothing.


    Reverberation of calm words kept me from plunging into panic. The discomfort eased gradually and I stood back up again. My heart was still beating to an insane rhythm, the only thing to attest to the ordeal I just breezed through. The distress was brief but felt so real.


    My new ears were picking up another, much greater beat under my feet but I paid it no mind. The dream was doing its best to go down a darker path and I wasn¡¯t here for any of that.


    ¡°Why stop there?¡± demon that he was, creature urged me on to keep trying and changing.


    ¡°Um, because I nearly died?¡±


    ¡°Sounds like you need more practise,¡± he bit back grittily.


    I pondered and decided, ¡°Okay, fair.¡±


    Toying with my outward form was not remotely simple. After a while I began suspecting he was holding my hand through those. The more I dabbled, the clearer this fact became. I kept straying off-course but would always find my way back. Which was strange, because I had no idea what I was doing.


    It took embarrassingly long to notice the shadowy guide perching at the corner of my awareness, but in the end there was only so much space in my birdbrain. How had I overlooked this massive presence looking over my shoulder in first place?


    I thought I¡¯d be angrier. Maybe I was? Or maybe this other person I was turning to was more chill.


    When I repeatedly failed to wake up I had to face it ¨C this was no normal dream either. Can¡¯t say I was sad or mad about it. Perhaps weary and disappointed. Not in the least bit surprised. This was the sole plausible outcome for a while.


    Would this new unruffled, unflappable guy want to spend an eternity floating around trapped in some monster¡¯s head? I searched for the will to live. Couldn¡¯t find any and after all, that was up to my puppet master. I went through all the prerequisite training to become a functional body part and hadn¡¯t even noticed.


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t expend all that effort on a mouth,¡± monstrous speech rattled off nearby.


    How sweet, I scoffed incredulously on the inside. ¡°I see we¡¯ve stopped pretending this isn¡¯t what it is.¡±


    ¡°It is, and it isn¡¯t,¡± he said as though that explained anything.


    I swayed on a ledge of fake precipice, still hallucinating violently. Illusion of hardly probable landscapes never went away. Struck by an ingenious inspiration, vaulted headfirst into a ravine. No fear fluttered in my chest, although the visible light decreased with every passing second before disappearing completely. Was I about to go splat? I saw nothing, but these days much like my gracious host I functioned mostly by hearing. I could tell I was still sinking. There was no bottom.


    Surrounded by darkness and beating of enormous hearts, I looked over my proverbial shoulder and felt dwarfed by the presence. He stopped hiding as well, or just waited to be properly faced. The being I was attached to was far too complex for me to even begin untangling. I couldn¡¯t track his movement or even register the full size. I felt like imploding if I kept looking, so turned back into myself.


    My perception told me I was still within a dream, but at the same time I could not tell if the crushing depths were real or imagined. How long was I even primed and functional? Being conscious was such a chore. Pulled in my exaggeratedly lanky limbs and curled up. I felt the cold emptiness of the abyss.


    ¡°Why do you feel alone?¡± monstrous hiss rocked the water I kept on sinking through, with no hope of ever seeing the surface again and I snickered. Truly. How ironic.


    ¡°So, this is your every day? Float around in the underwater currents?¡± I complained about my carefree existence and of wonders I was shown. ¡°What do you do for fun?¡± Besides devouring the unsuspecting.


    ¡°Visit your world,¡± monster¡¯s whisper echoed through the depths.


    After all, it¡¯s full of delicious entertainment.


    ¡°Taste is irrelevant. I don¡¯t get food poisoning,¡± tone was firmer, clearer and somewhat closer. In fact, wasn¡¯t it inside my head? It was, wasn¡¯t it? Because neither I nor he spoke out loud. The fucker was casually perusing my insides. Nausea, disgust and wrongness twisted me inside out.


    ¡°You ate me!¡± I screamed my imaginary lungs out, feeling all sorts of angry and betrayed as if he owed me anything.


    ¡°No,¡± he rumbled in response without deigning to elaborate.


    I gesticulated fervently towards myself, ¡°Well, clearly!¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t. All I¡¯ve got of you are the damaged cells which I exchanged,¡± he said and before I launched myself screaming, spoke on, ¡°You¡¯re a copy I made.¡±


    Indignation overtook righteous anger as the last memory I held before this hazy insanity was me screaming in altogether different way. He¡¯d been inside me. Fuck, had he really just¡­ copied me? As troublesome as it was to grasp, it wasn¡¯t impossible. Hissed through my teeth, ¡°That¡¯s not deeper I meant or wanted!¡±


    ¡°I know that. Now.¡±


    What a well-placed misunderstanding. Needless to say, I didn¡¯t buy. Demon didn¡¯t even try to be convincing. I rolled my blind rudimentary eyes as I imagined the smug asshole smirking for whatever reason.

 16 O 4

    ¡°So what happened to the¡­ real me? Afterwards,¡± I wondered and noticed sparks speeding by and pooling in one of the monster¡¯s pointy appendages. If he ever had a head, its contents long spilled out and overtook rest of the body. All of it was grey matter.


    ¡°You left to spend rest of the night with the man of dry detritus,¡± monster spoke unnecessarily as I examined what appeared to be glimpse of his innermost recollections for a change. It was still an overwhelmingly detailed impression of everything audible all around, but I could process it far better now - being a lump on supercomputer¡¯s butt helped. Unmistakably all of the attention was affixed onto a certain bowed log house and the two people inside. I got alarmed upon realising the peeping monster wasn¡¯t where I thought he ought to be at.


    ¡°Did you kill him?¡± I immediately demanded to know and my attention was pulled elsewhere, but I was in no mood to peruse. Especially if I was to see some gruesome details of the act.


    ¡°No. You needed him. That time.¡±


    The relief almost made me overlook weird phrasing. ¡°And the next?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll do better,¡± he said with confidence and that made me flush, right until I remembered I was but an inconsequential forgery.


    ¡°Where is the other me, now?¡± I demanded and concentrated on the inner sway of our shared brain. Million signals sparked thousands of different ways and I couldn¡¯t follow. ¡°You grew tired and let him go?¡± That didn¡¯t sound quite right.


    Instead of the answer all I got was roiling spasm of muscles. I knew that was a brief flash of anger. I didn¡¯t think myself capable of provoking that reaction, because I tried. The creature was infuriatingly collected the whole time I knew him. Which admittedly wasn¡¯t long, but nevertheless it was a most telling overreaction of an unfeeling overlord.


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ dead?¡±


    ¡°You are a memory,¡± monster growled non-denial at me and I felt fleeting as one. I was really dead and this was all that remained. The crazy son of a bitch really pulled it off.


    Didn¡¯t feel remotely as liberated as I thought I¡¯d be. Just empty and pointless. Saddened. All the misery slogged through to just give up and drown.


    Not to mention that didn¡¯t solve any of my problems.


    ¡°I¡¯ll recover every last cell of you,¡± overwhelming presence promised me and I felt light touch on my face.


    ¡°Is that where we¡¯re going?¡± I felt the laboured, cumbersome twitches of great many muscles, lugging enormous body meant to be stationary. Everything in his path fled. It was force of nature on a mission. I could tell more and more mass would be added to the crawling landmass and forced march alongside. The empathetic side of me shuddered. Really, I was no different to those life forms. Kidnapped and bent to someone else¡¯s will. Again. And yet¡­ there was only ever us or them. And this was for me. There was only one other person who¡¯d ever go all out for such an insignificant reason.


    And yet still. Here I was, forcefully glued to the back of a giant. A wart. Hilarious. How many other lap-warmers does he possess? It was an idle pondering, but our mutual neural pathways pulled my ant brain down onto a journey in search for answers. It got easier with practise. Just like the body manipulation he tricked me into practising within pretence of a dream.


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    The final curtain was discarded and I could at last see the whole picture. The entire gallery.


    I found no other such malformations such as me. Not at this time anyway. There was a carefully guarded storage with barely any contact to the rest of body. Mouths? Not nearly the number I would have guessed at. Not all human. Many, great many scattered fragments of people¡¯s brains which were used as support structures and building materials for the ginormous body of this monster. Again, not all of those familiar. In fact, most weren¡¯t terrestrial at all. I lost myself in an exploration of the foreign life. In fact, there was no stopping or escaping it. Each association brought up more and more relevant memories. And it wasn¡¯t so terrible to get lost in those, in all honesty.


    Sleep didn¡¯t come even more so than usual. I realised to my utmost horror, tireless monster probably never slept and therefore I was forced to endure ultimate torture ¨C myself. For hours, days, weeks, eternity?


    It was much worse than when I was trapped inside just my head. Each little idea took me down pathways I could barely comprehend, bringing up something similar but not quite. I thought about sandwich - and apparently equivalent of that in monster world was living, squirming, screaming beings.


    I tried to stick to the familiar, but that only meant I perused dead people¡¯s stolen brains. There was a lot of that.


    ¡°What makes The Handful so special?¡± I asked just to pull myself out of the vortex, but was also genuinely curious. Had to be some ultra-criminal masterminds to deserve this hell of a prison for all of existence. Though if I was anything to go by¡­ probably not.


    ¡°Do they have to be?¡± demonic hiss asked with pressing seriousness. ¡°You¡¯d steal trinkets that caught your eye all the time, only to discard them in the river.¡±


    Stomach lurched at the casual intrusion into my most miserable moments. He was inside again and it was unbearably disgusting. At least he revealed I was disposable. It was a relief. Put up with this. Just a little longer.


    ¡°You are special,¡± rumble in the distance told me and I pressed spindly appendages tighter around my horned head as though that would stop unwanted, unpleasant reality from crashing in.


    ¡°Why?¡± I sought out the answer, brimming with powerless indignation. We were at an impasse. Stalemate. And yet still I refuse to be a shiny pebble that caught an eye of a child. I grit my teeth and spelled it out as clearly as I could, ¡°I can feel you. Watching me, tracking my every move. Every thought. You know exactly what you¡¯re putting me through! The mere fact I¡¯m this calm is proof you¡¯re doing something about it. Do you even understand feelings?¡±


    ¡°A response to the distress which I¡¯m causing.¡±


    I inhaled deeply to calm myself. He doesn¡¯t get it. To him ¨C no, it, this colossal being of alien seas - all this is but a hormonal misbalance in the brain. His own brain, even. The demon thinks it¡¯s fixing it, but all the creature does is treat a symptom whilst the wound festers.


    I didn¡¯t feel like myself. Far too placid, due to a healthy cocktail of mind control and surrender. There was no humour left in me. Neither joy, nor dark irony I used to cope, because all hope was dead. I will not be able to set anything on fire here, nor bash in with a rock. There was no way out and I¡¯ve given up at last. Moreover, I wasn¡¯t even permitted to lament it all that deeply.


    I gritted out, ¡°I was right. You¡¯re just like everybody else. The drunken hobos stealing from the smaller. The rich kids. The uppity church with their so-called charity. The ones who¡¯d thrown me spare change after a fuck or the ones who didn¡¯t even bother. The people who took me¡­ The only reason you¡¯re not forcing me submit by causing pain is because you¡¯ve witnessed it doesn¡¯t really work.¡±


    I flexed my reworked frontal appendages as if still feeling charcoal upon the blistering skin. Memory was vivid, even after all this time. Even as part of some other body. Sensation was seared onto my soul. The time I should have really died.


    ¡°Incorrect,¡± monster finally spoke out without delay. ¡°I can twist you up so much, you¡¯d never even think unfavourably of anything I don¡¯t want you to.¡±


    There¡¯s that smooth talker at last. ¡°Oh, I¡¯ve no doubt,¡± and yet that did not happen, no matter how uncooperative I got. That left me with a conclusion, ¡°But you want me whole.¡±


    The fact was undeservedly assuring. Not feeling fear towards a captor was a novel sensation. I found myself relaxing and even feeling grateful, then shook my head violently. How low was the bar?


    ¡°There are other ways,¡± devil assured me confidently.


    I knew that. I¡¯d occasionally stumble upon repetitions of patterns. Thoughts. Would be swept away in a whirlpool of deja vu. ¡°I can vaguely tell there¡¯s more of me inside of you. You keep trying. But it¡¯s not working, is it?¡±


    Either due to boredom or genuine wish, the outlandish monster really tried. I found it in myself to feel sympathy for the sad sap. There was something intrinsically desperate and pitiable. I almost wanted to tell it how to make it work.


    Monster¡¯s attention concentrated all around me and within my head as if trying to pry the information out of me. But no, that was just the insufferably heavy presence. It was merely trying to glimpse, but the fraction of creature¡¯s awareness could break bones.


    ¡°How?¡± looming existence hissed. I fell to whatever passed for my knees in this form and clawed at the ears, these massive growths atop the head. It could execute torture by accident.


    ¡°Release me,¡± I whispered back after recovering.


    ¡°No,¡± receding presence hissed out of the bowels of abyss and my disappointment was debilitating. Monster had been listening - I stupidly hoped we were getting somewhere.


    Quiet whisper from even further away explained as though in consolation, ¡°You were meant to be alive and separate, but all that you are now is a part of me. A memory. My memory. The only piece I know to be real.¡±


    Enveloped by crippling resignation I spoke my idle thoughts, ¡°This can¡¯t be the person you wanted to trap so desperately.¡± I was close to shutting down and mentally checking out, but managed to feel some glee. ¡°But this will be all you get.¡±

 16 O 5

    I was just another failed attempt. The sea creature is probably going to kill me and restart again, I realised. A win? For me, at least. Perhaps next iteration would never even know he¡¯s been eaten, stuck within a flawless dream indefinitely. But the visions this monster has shown were flawed and I was sure it wouldn¡¯t last either. In all likelihood the next incarnation would be materialised outside, just have an invisible leash and wouldn¡¯t even know he¡¯s a mouth. For a time.


    Is the me who¡¯s been eaten by something else better off? Yeah, unlikely. At least this overgrown meatloaf will extinguish that existence, if it still persists.


    ¡°It does,¡± growling assured me, regardless of me trying to keep to myself. Problem with the ceaseless stream of uncontrollable thought, I couldn¡¯t merely vegetate. The head still worked, no matter how much I clawed at it. I¡¯d need to go deeper for that to be effective. Luckily I now had mean claws.


    He¡¯ll eat him and there will be two of us stuck here. And there already are others. How will this entire menagerie work exactly?


    ¡°I¡¯ve no desire to consume you. Just imagine a two of you whining right into my ear,¡± the captor hissed suggesting amusement. I wasn¡¯t amused.


    ¡°Who¡¯s whining now?¡± I bit back out loud whilst thinking how all this mutual inconvenience could have been easily avoided.


    ¡°If at all possible, I¡¯ll restore your other existence.¡±


    ¡°And if not, I¡¯m plan B?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re a way to know what will work interacting with you then.¡±


    ¡°So, I¡¯m¡­¡±


    A nothing. At all. I knew, but this was still a kick in the balls.


    ¡°You¡¯re me. You¡¯ll always be part of me.¡±


    ¡°Stop talking to me! Stop listening!¡± I screamed, plunging my suddenly dulling claws through my eyeholes and no further. ¡°Go away,¡± I told it and even brighter idea popped in, ¡°Just kill me already.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d just have to start anew,¡± monster said cruelly. ¡°Bear with me little longer, until I know what I need to do.¡±


    The wait probably wasn¡¯t as long as it had felt. Fighting against my own thoughts, the conversations they provoked, the body I could no longer control just felt that way.


    Finally, even I could tell something has changed. Monster began accelerating as if close to the finish line. Million toothy branches unfolded. Unwittingly, I must have wondered. Sensory information flooded my all too narrow mind. A wall floated up ahead, so wide that even the brainy demon could not observe it in its entirety. Not really a wall, maybe more of a net ¨C for some sound returned and other just sank right past and went off right into the infinity. All I could tell there was a lot of little threads. I could not guess if there was any actual body or if this was it.


    I heard, smelled, felt, knew it. There was even input from first brush with the closest stems. They had untold amounts of little grabby fingers and even eyes. I suddenly knew its name. That specific scent which shared all too much with the one I inhabited. Stalwart defender tried to communicate, but the words were beyond me. Vengeful demon no intention to listen, ripping up the gently prodding tentacles and adding them to the overall mass. Deepwater terror would pry out whatever answer necessary from the much smaller foe¡¯s cold dead fingers.


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    The net began gracefully embracing clumsy, lumbering mammoth which wasted no time tearing into lithe form. I felt brain¡¯s network extend further with each passing second as though the other body was being converted and absorbed.


    When encasing was complete, seemingly surrendered foe retaliated at last. The long stems pierced unrelenting attacker everywhere all at once. There were a lot of needle strikes. I even heard motion with my own two horns.


    That¡¯s it? Hope was so brief I didn¡¯t even feel dejected. Physical pain and injury meant nothing to the one which ate me, so the outcome was clear.


    ¡°I did not consume you,¡± it hissed at me and within moments I was yanked to the side, feeling more motion darting around.


    ¡°Put me down,¡± I struggled ¨C in vain. There was danger out there and I needed to put my face in it.


    Whilst they both tore the other apart, for a moment I got the impression of net-creature was searching for something out here, perusing much larger brain library rather than inflicting haphazard damage. These were precision strikes. I dared not speculate, but this was a chance I could not afford to lose.


    Since I was already somehow connected I probably didn¡¯t need to - but stabbed one of my arms into the monster¡¯s flesh at my side anyway. There was just one thing I needed to be conscious of - none of it was me. All of this was him. So, I extended myself forwards and tugged on one the point of invasion, pulling it towards the guarded cache.


    The tentacle I gripped kept getting absorbed and in return it kept on attacking the part of me which held it, but I kept grasping onto them. Sensory information kept flooding me from the point of contact, but I still understood little of its mind. Perhaps my much simpler one was clearer to it, for the viciousness eased and allowed itself be lead eventually. My host was not happy about such foul interference with its business from the inside. This time the other monster was clawing at me, but with two of them at odds I had some room to manoeuvre.


    With what felt like a roar I was thrown out of existence and thwacked onto what felt like bed of nails. Stone, sand and other debris pelted my head for a while, then rumbling stopped. One of my horns was broken off and lack of balance was worse than the pain. I fixed it up ¨C by discarding equal portion of the healthy one - and only then could concentrate on the new environment.


    From the effort the repair took me I already knew to be alone. Nobody was holding my hand in the dark anymore and boy, was it dark. Everything still hurt and best I could do was disconnect all of the nerve input. Cursed devil was right, this was much preferable.


    ¡°Man, what the fuck,¡± I muttered, rubbing my wet and dusty (grimy?) face. I could not see and restoring eyesight was far beyond me. I didn¡¯t need that to know I was deep underground. Narrow crack deep in the ground, if the oppressive pressure was of any indication. Did I succeed or not? Clearly I was still alive, so I supposed that¡¯s a no. And the one who wanted to keep me agonizingly going was undoubtedly stronger. He¡¯d come looking. I need to go and not be here when that happens.


    Clambering up from under the dirt I noted the water running down the walls. It was different. Unlike the one alien monsters floated in. I was thrown way the fuck out of that world. Well, can¡¯t complain - even if I can¡¯t bend all my joints right anymore.


    I limped around several steps and the surface I stepped onto sounded different. I tapped again and it was undoubtedly squishy. Meaty. No wonder it stank so strongly of me here. Him. Was the demon here too, somewhere? How much of him? I knew now that the human form he wore contained nothing. An empty puppet, always attached to the main body by a string. So what was here?


    I clicked tongue to view farther. A fault. Jagged edges ended here and a lot of softer mass lay on both sides. Not great.


    I stuck my fingers into the fleshy formation and joined up our frayed nerve endings. Pain had to return, too, but one banged up arm was doable.


    It was¡­ more of me. All over the walls. I knelt, weak in the legs all of a sudden.


    ¡°Ugh, couldn¡¯t you have had a less literal meltdown?¡± I asked of the dormant formless puddle, pulling my arm up to rip up whatever neural connections I could. This wouldn¡¯t be enough. Not nearly. And I probably don¡¯t have a lot of time.


    Forced nails out once again and got to decimation. Tore up and chewed, too. I hurried, but it wasn¡¯t long before I smelled someone else. Then I rushed some more.


    ¡°Ugh, what the fuck?¡± new person asked, looking around frantically and gawking at me in particular. He was me, but smelled all wrong. That immediately filled in all gaps.


    ¡°Well, don¡¯t just stand there,¡± I gestured to the yet unchewed pile of brain, immediately assuming his reasons for being here.


    ¡°Holy shit, you¡¯re me,¡± he was as surprised as disgusted.


    I scrunched up my nose or whatever I had on my face these days and retorted, ¡°Vast improvement, if you ask me. What¡¯s with all that hair? Still?¡± How long has it been anyway?


    ¡°Well, not exactly had a lot of time for manipedi between dying repeatedly, and then tracking down others about to die repeatedly.¡±


    Right. Time. There really was no time for idle chats, as much as I might have wanted to catch up. I resumed my work and ruined with passion, all mirth but forgotten. ¡°You helping or just came to get eaten?¡± I spat out between bites.


    I heard him shake his head. ¡°It can¡¯t eat me anymore. I¡¯m pure poison¡­ Snail sent me trailing after the backup cache. To kill you.¡±


    I allowed my hardly functional limbs to slow.


    ¡°Is that¡­ okay?¡± he asked after I remained quiet.

 17 R 1

    ¡°What, I grow a set of horns and you immediately think I want to be attached at the hip to some asshole? I¡¯m just thinking. Mainly how to feed you to our cousin Blob here. He¡¯s not really conscious. Also there should be others, but I¡¯ve not had time to look,¡± hissing, clicking speech rushed out. He seemed agitated. Eating raw meat does that to people.


    I gulped and felt disgusted all over. What could have happened there, to all of them? ¡°Did he do that?¡±


    Diabolical spider rubbed what could have been his face and sighed heavily. ¡°No,¡± he said and displayed an inherited silence. I could tell there were million thoughts swirling inside the distorted body from the twitches and overall nervous energy. I could probably guess most of them. Former human uttered eventually, ¡°Look, it wasn¡¯t all bad¡­ It was great for an oblivious while. But I can¡¯t do this.¡±


    The unspoken reservations hung heavy in the acrid air. I felt like there was a lot I should know, but our reluctant ally was buying us this much time with its puny, humongous life.


    ¡°So. Poison. What¡¯s the plan then, o remorseful assassin?¡± malformation spoke up again, dismissing the previous all too abrupt recollection as if thinking the same.


    There¡¯s barely been a plan and it came to conclusion the moment I reached Snail¡¯s mouth. This now was merely a wild improvisation with stakes that involved death of continent-altering critters and several lifetimes of enslavement. I cleared my throat, ¡°No plan. Once I injure myself, the blood will off-gas into something toxic.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s flimsiest scheme I¡¯ve ever heard of. Worse than the time we¡­¡±


    ¡°Hid at the store to wait for the nightfall, yeah yeah. I know. But that¡¯s how military got him before.¡±


    ¡°And you think same will work twice? The thing¡¯s made out of pure brainpower! I¡¯m not even breathing! And definitely not the lumps on the wall!¡± his calm fa?ade revealed cracks and hysteria shone through. I couldn¡¯t blame the guy - I had exact same misgivings.


    Regardless, assurances flowed from my lips simply because there was no other path to take, ¡°It¡¯s not the same gas. And it seeps in through the skin too.¡±


    Many-jointed monstrosity sagged with visible relief. We both harboured doubts, but also highest of hopes. ¡°Let¡¯s try it,¡± he uttered.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I mumbled, completely disgusted with myself as I scraped my forearms onto the sharp rocks to bleed. I was glad it hurt, for if it hadn¡¯t I might have just bashed my head in. This felt all kinds of wrong. He did not deserve this.


    ¡°Please. You¡¯re doing us a favour,¡± pale malformation gripped my wrist with bare-boned fingers and firmly pulled me after him, closer to the heap of chewed up mince. ¡°Let¡¯s speed this up. Smear here. I need to find the others.¡±


    Others. Were they not even given a body? Did they exist as a splotch on the wall? Righteous anger pumped my blood out quicker.


    I nodded and watched my monstrous self absently rub palm which just touched my poison. He slunk away, making minor noise to navigate. Upon deciding on a particular spot, plunged several of his other hands into gelatinous formation. Bizarre cave meat gave off light here and there and obscure illumination made the shapes even worse than they truly were. The only thing I really recognised was the snarky speech.


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    I could not fathom what could have driven me to take either of those forms. Was it voluntary? Was it really? I would never do that to myself. Therefore, was it really me?


    I scoffed at the gall of mine, remembering my own modifications to which I wholeheartedly agreed to for the sake of a drop of success. Neither of us was that cheap orphan from the streets anymore. Nobody was waiting for us to return. Nothing beyond this mattered.


    And yet my stomach felt ready to spill its non-contents at moment¡¯s notice. I felt sickened at what I was doing, as right as this was. It was getting harder to breathe. Would I be affected by my own poison, or was it just good ol¡¯ blood loss? Or mayhaps the panic.


    ¡°Hey,¡± we both called out at the same time.


    ¡°Yea?¡± I barked back, more interested in what he had to say. My pussyfooting had no place here anyway.


    ¡°Don¡¯t die. You can¡¯t die.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ What?¡± This came out of the left field.


    ¡°It can¡¯t eat you anymore, right? I¡­ don¡¯t want this be the end.¡±


    Fuck.


    I flexed my bloody fingers as if grasping for a way to stop all this, but it was far too late. Even I could smell nasty chemical tinge in the air. It was already coating every surface, seeping into expelled flesh and changing it same way boiling water does an egg.


    This felt different to the mansion I set on fire. Perhaps that was more pressing, more oppressing. There was no choice there. This situation was loaded with reflection. Vague options.


    The lump I was cutting open contorted, making me jump away.


    ¡°That¡¯s just me. I¡¯m moving up the healthy parts,¡± scratchy whisper echoed throughout the crack in the rock.


    ¡°Did you find what you were after?¡± I asked wondering about all the others.


    ¡°I¡­ don¡¯t fucking know. Must have skipped several classes in this neurosurgeon thing. Everything¡¯s disjointed. And somehow different. But whatever¡¯s here is starting to decay¡­ Good job.¡±


    The big question was whether everything was here. ¡°Snail will raze all that remained attached,¡± I assured and the slimy companion succumbed to the ground.


    ¡°Tha¡¯s good,¡± he whispered, racked with twitches and shivering. I was reluctant to come closer because it would only make things worse. However, it was the end anyway. I sat down nearby and scooped up the disintegrating upper body into an embrace.


    ¡°Your friend looks nothing like a snail,¡± a clattering whisper entered my ear. Perhaps we did have few minutes to catch up.


    ¡°He did when I first saw it.¡±


    ¡°People with eyes are so weird,¡± he muttered back. ¡°Is that when you got eaten?¡±


    ¡°Yea¡­ But not like that. It asked me. It was helping.¡±


    Cold, shivering body curled in around me even more. ¡°And you agreed? I won¡¯t even ask what kind of shit storm you got your ass into that time.¡±


    Probably for the best. I didn¡¯t really want to tell him of more pain and misery in this damp grave. Why do we always end up trapped underground? I held the cold torso tighter, albeit I wasn¡¯t all that much better off. I was changed, but just enough to be a walking death in an unassuming form. Still very much human. Should I have asked for six arms, too? Maybe I would have been able to dig us out of here.


    Dying hellspawn refused to go in peace, ¡°Tsk tsk tsk, you grew so na?ve in this little while. Helping, my ass. They smell so similar. Easily some sibling spat where we got thrown under the wheels again.¡±


    ¡°Worse. That¡¯s his child he abandoned.¡±


    ¡°Ah. What a dick,¡± alien features contorted. ¡°Can¡¯t believe I almost started to like that guy,¡± he added.


    I almost did too. He came looking for me. All to just to turn around like I didn¡¯t exist anymore and go on to do more fulfilling things with his life. Like casual filicide. Massive red flag. Why did I even expect anything from this alien life-form to begin with?


    ¡°He did it for you. All of that, and more, was for you,¡± shivering form mouthed but I understood the unspoken horror of his words. Obsession was a terrible thing to be trapped under. ¡°You mustn¡¯t let him do this to you again. No matter what. Promise me.¡± Weak claws tried to grip me and shake some sense into me as if he¡¯d already forgotten I was inedible.


    I just buried my face into oozing crook of his neck, ¡°There¡¯s no chance of that,¡± I whispered back, words full of unspoken intent as well. Horned monster done things far too terrible to be just forgiven. Things I couldn¡¯t even share with this wretched version of me. He didn¡¯t need to know full extent of the devastation.


    I did not clock exact time of his passing. Communication has ceased, but he whimpered for a while longer. And even now the stone cold body was twitching and convulsing, albeit I was sure nobody was present anymore. The arm that first touched me sloughed off and lay separate in a separate puddle.


    That was how he found me. I didn¡¯t notice when or how exactly the ancient creature of the depths came in either. Sneaky thing wasn¡¯t even making any sound, just stood there like a complete creep and waited as only an ageless abomination could. I don¡¯t even know how I¡¯ve noticed that gargoyle staying so absolutely still.


    At some point I snapped out of comparing this clinging liquid to the one which clung to me in the lab and saw shiny silhouette, as if it¡¯s been doused in filmy fluid too.


    I really wanted to snap at him and lash out. There were so many things to do that over. I wasn¡¯t even tired yet, having just gotten this body. Could shout and claw for hours. I was, however, done. I¡¯ve reached my destination. There was nothing else. Nobody else.

 17 R 2

    I should probably entice him to gnaw on me. He must have figured out I¡¯m bad for the stomach, hence the lyrical pause, but with just a little brute force everything was possible. He could power through and make me edible again. As far as he knew.


    He could suspect, but wouldn¡¯t know I¡¯d immediately die upon such attempt. Just disintegrate the same way rest of this formerly sagacious goop did. Was that why he was idling? Waiting on confirmation. Or just lamenting loss of a pet project. His body parts? Does he even have concept of loss? Because surely the alien creature did not share in our most glaring human flaws.


    Was I not even worth the effort? Ah. There was that. He had looked right through me once before. Now I was but a leftover refuse from an animal he¡¯d already beaten. Did I still count as a mouth if there was no controlling organism to be attached to? What a thing to be having existential crisis over.


    So that was it. Final bit of my fuck you plan would not come to fruition. What a nasty oversight. I burned to ask about how things ended on their end. Did Snail complete shredding every mention of me? Or did it half-ass it, too? Was it happy to be reunited at last?


    Since I was an inconsequential nonentity here, what the fuck was he idling around for? My legs fell asleep a while ago and I didn¡¯t want to cradle twitching corpse anymore.


    ¡°Get them out of here, they don¡¯t deserve to rot underground,¡± I finally grated out. The tilting rocks glistened as something wet glided along them. Pressure at the back of my neck increased tenfold and not with atmospheric pressure. Demon finally decided on a fool proof way to make me eternally suffer and the insolence just kicked it off into action. I clutched my emotional support cadaver tighter and made it leak worse.


    I¡¯ll pay for all of this, won¡¯t I? But I had the right to fight back. To take my revenge. I wasn¡¯t just a pebble to be kicked around. Right?!


    Of all the things, I felt fear. There was no more indignation or fury. I did all I could and it was equivalent of spitting in rich man¡¯s face. Retribution always hurt. I was sure the failsafe wouldn¡¯t really work anymore, he¡¯d taken it into consideration and found ways around. I gripped something sharp in my hand. I could just stab myself in the throat and force him to eat me. Maybe that would derail some of prep process? I¡¯d either die and if not, I¡¯d at least try something.


    Rocks around all cracked and bent, but none fell. The cavern was encased in a glistening and undulating layer. My ears popped. When all the noise stopped and cords untwined, cold hit me like a bat. I inhaled fresh air and froze the lungs solid. It wasn¡¯t long until I shivered like an autumn leaf. There were none of those, just heaps upon heaps of snow. In the middle of nowhere. Mountains on the horizon line. I¡¯ve never even seen that in my life. There weren¡¯t any anywhere near where I grew up. Where the fuck was this?


    The final solution my mucky hand held felt so light. Without overthinking it, struck my throat. I felt pain and pressure, but critical mass was caught by some thread and I couldn¡¯t pull my instrument any further. I tracked it to the source and saw blond man instead of a faceless monstrosity.


    ¡°Where do you think you¡¯re off to? You¡¯re all that¡¯s left,¡± drenched man said looking right at me. Dour stare, stark tone, weight of puny mortal¡¯s sins and the northern wind made me shake like sick man. There was that. Most major oversight. It didn¡¯t need to dig under my skin to make me suffer. Plenty of people managed that without superhuman abilities just fine.


    I had an urge to apologise profusely and beg for forgiveness, as though that ever helped. Animal inside of me wanted to live, but mercifully the words wouldn¡¯t come out. I¡¯d keep my worthless pride for few minutes longer.


    ¡°Why do you reek of fear now? After all that,¡± even the words were served like a cup of iced contempt. Somehow it was easier to mouth off at an unfeeling, stony presence. This man was an unknown stranger capable of everything.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you see so many, much scarier monsters?¡± he mocked some familiar sentiment I might have ignorantly spouted back when I was young and innocent.


    ¡°So dismissive at the start.¡± Was that disappointment? Probably. Omnipotent god met a stupid airheaded human bent on doing his own suicidal thing and imagined that to be special. He should be as disillusioned as I¡¯m enlightened, the fucker.


    ¡°I never said I wasn¡¯t afraid,¡± I finally chittered out.


    ¡°You hadn¡¯t? I can¡¯t remember.¡±


    Mm, what a well-placed biting reminder. He was so mad. Or maybe he didn¡¯t remember me at all? The escapade involved healthy dose of brain damage. Was this even him or some mouth? The boots were all that remained the same.


    Even if he didn¡¯t know who I am, I was still found standing over the rotting remains of his precious memories. Mm, this just might be worse.


    ¡°May I touch you?¡± creature pretending to be human asked.


    Ah, here it comes. I would have shuddered but my bones were already clattering uncontrollably and not with fear. Hypothermia was drastically shifting my priorities. The sooner it¡¯s over the better. I gracelessly put the iced-over body aside and full blast of chilly weather hit me anew.


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    ¡°No,¡± I scoffed, just to wallow in irony for the last time. As if I could ever stop it from doing what the fuck ever it wanted.


    Branches peered out of the snow and reached for the grey sky. Translucent membrane stretched between the webbing. My bravado went out with a puff.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Not knowing was better to the advance warning and the horrors the mind would conjure up. What was I doing asking? Beg, just beg.


    I frantically turned my head around. He was trapping me here. With the remains. Oh no, no, no. No.


    My quavering limbs somehow found it in them to move and vault over the forming wall of flesh. All that valiant effort just to go face-first straight into a drift on the other side. Which was fine. I began scrubbing scabs of red poison and the glassy decay with fresh, flaky snow. It didn¡¯t feel cold anymore. What a delight.


    ¡°I am stopping you from gaining that deathly tint,¡± the strange man scoffed.


    Another flesh bubble sprouted around me and I lost my nerve again, ¡°Must you stick me with the dead bodies already?!¡±


    The vines twitched and hesitated about growing the morgue further. ¡°It¡¯s just tissue,¡± monster dismissed my concerns but patiently waited for explanation. Right. To him, those weren¡¯t dead bodies. Merely a decapitated part of himself. Like the rest of this webbed windbreaker.


    That wasn¡¯t what¡¯s important right now. He was stopped by me twice. I looked into piercing bright eyes and asked tentatively, ¡°What were you going to do before?¡±


    ¡°Dress you,¡± monster spoke looking down at my shuddering form. My immediate death wasn¡¯t on its agenda and I was relegated back to being toy for the wicked. How typically arrogant.


    ¡°Kill me now or you¡¯ll end up losing even more of your precious brainpower,¡± I threatened. Not that I was capable of doing this mammoth any more harm ¨C not that I did a lot in first place ¨C but I really wanted to teach it what happens when enemies are given clemency. Perhaps I can taunt it into taking a toxic bite after all?


    ¡°I¡¯ve a lot to spare,¡± monster shrugged it off noncommittally.


    ¡°Fine. Do as you like¡­ Besides rooming me with the corpses,¡± I muttered. I really hoped he¡¯d just stick his grubby feelers where they don¡¯t belong and we¡¯d be done with all of this.


    Something unpleasantly hot twined around my throat and squeezed to the point of choking. I startled but couldn¡¯t move. Warmth spread down the back and it felt like being eaten by an amoeba. The weird membrane twined around my still weeping forearms, and then got covered by puffy red feathers. My entire body did.


    I stood up and got dizzy from the sudden motion. Caught myself just before face-planting back into snow. Full of grace. And style, apparently. I was in a very comfortable, very flamboyant bathrobe of my dreams. I even had matching slippers. Hardly the attire for this climate, but there were worse things to freeze over in. I thought that right until realising I was sweating. It was so flush. Scorching, in fact. I undid the high collar to catch a break. As much as it looked like genuine article of cloth, it was still unmistakably monster¡¯s flesh. Alive, and warm.


    Stuck the hands into pockets and wondered where the pool party was. ¡°I¡¯m missing sunglasses,¡± I declared. His attempts to ridicule me were piss-poor. I had no shame and I have always wanted something like this.


    ¡°Inner pocket,¡± monster rasped. He sounded far more human now, but some grit still made guest appearance.


    ¡°There¡¯s more pockets?¡± A tactical combat-ready chill outfit? I was almost thrilled about this garb. Began perusing and also found chewing gum - colourful wrapper and all. Had to put that one back where I¡¯d found it. Tinted eyewear helped with painful snow glare and the headache I didn¡¯t know I had until it diminished.


    Fuck this day, seriously. Was I possibly dreaming? It¡¯s crossed over into surreal a while ago. What are the chances I was already eaten? Never free to begin with? Which monster could be causing this vivid hallucination?


    ¡°Okay, what now?¡± I asked like some noble observing the domain. Empty, desolate, cold domain. There was nothing. Not a tree, no houses. Just that massive crevice we crawled out of. Truly a landscape befitting its lord. We were smack dab in the middle of my imaginative mind, weren¡¯t we?


    Monster trudged through the snow like it wasn¡¯t there, offered me his hand and said, ¡°Let¡¯s go see the mountains.¡±


    Well. That was¡­ more than what I had, which was just to lie down and hope to die. And I highly doubted the creature would let me. It didn¡¯t go through all that trouble to emerge empty-handed. And I didn¡¯t exactly burn with desire to quietly expire next to the other incarnations of myself either. The pile of ooze and gore still wasn¡¯t all that inviting.


    I must have wanted to take that hand hundred times. Before he¡¯d killed everyone and fucked off. Now¡­ this? What a joke. All I wanted was to just slap it away.


    I¡¯m all that¡¯s left, he¡¯d said. I ain¡¯t nobody¡¯s consolation prize. My attitude flared up, ¡°Why aren¡¯t you just eating me?¡±


    ¡°Because you¡¯re a headache.¡±


    ¡°I hope I¡¯m a heartburn, too,¡± I muttered.


    ¡°Right now? Possibly.¡±


    So he knew. Well, I suppose cave full of noxious fumes was hard to overlook. Would he suspect the other thing?


    ¡°Scared of some spice?¡±


    ¡°You were never intended for that.¡±


    ¡°For what? Eating? Then just kill me. Put my head in a jar if you like. Do whatthefuckever you like, just don¡¯t drag me around like a toy like this and expect entertainment.¡±


    ¡°But you¡¯re just so unbearably entertaining. Constantly at risk of dying whether I¡¯m there or not. It¡¯s so fun scraping you off the bars of whatever cage you end up in.¡±


    There was just too much unmistakable sarcasm to freak out about vulture with stalking tendencies. Even if he wasn¡¯t really kidding. That had to be bump in otherwise seamless almighty existence. After all, he must have so much to do.


    ¡°Then just fucking stop!¡± I shouted at him.


    ¡°No. I¡¯ve grown far too fond of you to abandon.¡±


    ¡°Everyone¡¯s dead. By your hand. I¡¯ve nothing to be alive for. Least of all, because you wish it.¡±


    ¡°I can make you wish for it, if¡­¡±


    ¡°Are you kidding me now? Nothing you say will ever make it alright. Ever. I hate you. I wish you dead.¡±


    ¡°Then kill me,¡± he dared simply. ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to make excuses. It was worth it to get this scrap of you back. I would have taken a lot more if that would have made a difference. I, after all, wish you very much alive.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care how many it was, just who! You took the few I ever had!¡±


    ¡°And you found ways to get back at me,¡± he said with some strange glee.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t fucking do it to fucking amuse you,¡± I gritted out.


    ¡°I know. I am greatly impressed nevertheless.¡±


    So there we were. Two very separate people with vastly different agendas. Tug of war in which I held no sway. Just like always.


    ¡°And ¡®get me back¡¯? You just left me there, in the middle of ground zero,¡± I muttered, pointing at an undeniable flaw in his logic.


    ¡°I had no way of knowing if it was or how much of it was you. I needed to go through every cell of All-seeing to find out.¡±


    Sure. Convenient answers to everything. I wasn¡¯t buying it. ¡°Yeah. That¡¯s another one you just had to trample over to get your way, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s right where it wanted to be, isn¡¯t it?¡± light-haired imitation of a man enunciated, forcing me to shrug, grudgingly. Monster relations and inclinations were beyond my scope of understanding. ¡°For now,¡± red-eyed man added.


    ¡°What¡¯s that to mean?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t need all that mass. I¡¯ll cast most of it away as soon as I¡¯m done going over it.¡±


    I didn¡¯t know which part was worse. I liked neither. Bunched up the feathers in both hands. ¡°Are you being deliberately cruel?¡± I felt like a child first time introduced to unfairness of it all. It¡¯s like I still expected something from this no-longer-horned creature. How embarrassing for me.


    ¡°Deliberately? Perhaps. Would you rather I spoke falsehoods, like you?¡±


    He went through my brain. He knew everything. Or enough, anyway. He was still under my skin, even now. I hated his guy so much. Why can¡¯t he dig just a little deeper and finish all of this uncomfortable situation for good?


    ¡°I¡¯d rather we didn¡¯t speak at all,¡± I proclaimed my verdict.


    ¡°Then let¡¯s walk.¡±


    And just like always, all I could do was act obediently and wait for an opportunity to strike. They always came, one way or the other.

 18 R 1

    Climbing over heaps of powdered ice wasn¡¯t remotely fun, even if snowplough man bravely thread ahead of me. Bathrobe and slippers really wasn¡¯t the choice clothing for this misadventure, as heated as they were. My naked shins felt cut up and ready to blister.


    And I was so short of breath. It¡¯s like I¡¯ve never walked before. Granted, the terrain wasn¡¯t the even pavement I was so used to, but this was bordering ridiculous.


    Why were we trudging through this nightmare scape again? Right, demon wanted to go sightseeing. Fuck that guy. I dove into a fresh snowdrift, mostly on purpose, and it was so soft for about five seconds. Then my face started hurting.


    ¡°Fine. Carry me,¡± I said to the looming shadow. He¡¯d offered the first time I lost the ability to find breathable air, but I couldn¡¯t stand him close. All reservations have since burnt away. What was the point of that again? I forgot.


    He scooped me up and I relaxed into the embrace without meaning to. This felt¡­ so restful. Not at all like an embrace of despotic mass-murderer.


    ¡°What business have you got with them land wrinkles anyway? Seen something bigger and took it personally? Are you going to flatten the audacious assholes?¡± I swatted my palm downwards. I¡¯ll blame that on the lack of oxygen. My conscious mind was shutting down and the tongue was his own person.


    Monster kept quiet so long I thought we were mercifully going to pretend it didn¡¯t happen. ¡°Your world is small,¡± he murmured as though in passing.


    Implications of that weren¡¯t comforting, in grand scheme of things. ¡°So yours is bigger, is that what you¡¯re saying?¡±


    ¡°Much,¡± he spoke solemnly as though completely missing the pun. Of course he would, this goddamn dickless alien.


    ¡°So you already know mountains are smaller and aren¡¯t taking offence, what the heck for are we going there again?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m told people enjoy the view.¡±


    This asshole did just want to sightsee. ¡°You dragging me through snow to feel small and insignificant because you¡¯ve developed hedonistic traits after getting hit over the head a little? Oh, I guess you wouldn¡¯t understand, you¡¯re clearly going there to have an ego boost since the damn mountain range is so puny.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not interested?¡±


    ¡°Hm. Let me think. All my friends are dead. I physically couldn¡¯t care less about aesthetics.¡± I was essentially kidnapped, I had no obligation to be an enthusiastic travel companion.


    ¡°Where would you like to go?¡±


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    First instinct was to say some ways underground, but I really rather not play games with potentially very literal demon.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sick of outdoors,¡± I muttered my honest thoughts. It was warm and almost cosy in my monstrous carriage, but piddling ice on my face was growing to be a nuisance. I was tired of sleeping on the leaves, and I looked forward to getting comfortable on the snow even less.


    Monster breathed in as if in surprise and took a sharp turn into another nondescript direction. That startled me and I masked it with venom, ¡°What? Caught a whiff of other orphans you could bully?¡± Please, let that be the case.


    He inhaled again. ¡°Possibly,¡± monster¡¯s nonchalance gave me a chill. Red eyes cast a glance at my expression and explained, ¡°I smell a town that way.¡±


    I smelled the oncoming pneumonia. There was nothing ahead that my eyes could see either. ¡°I hope it¡¯s closer than the damn mountains,¡± I voiced my reservations, but was thrilled nevertheless. Then I remembered my company. ¡°Are you gonna eat them?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to consume them. Far too much on my mind already,¡± he said and the wide eyes had an almost haunted look, whatever that meant in demonic. ¡°But I will kill if I deem it warranted.¡±


    I shrugged, having nothing against some necessary murdering. Repeat of the last time I was carried like this was wanted about as much as a violent food poisoning. Regardless, I doubted special forces would get a drop on him again. The damned creature all but enjoyed every moment of noxious sauna I caused. All he lacked there was a towel.


    ¡°Aw poor you, cannibalising your own child is giving you indigestion?¡± I mocked without a drop of sympathy.


    ¡°Many more new fragments¡­¡± wild gaze flailed as if looking at something else entirely. Great. The only thing that beat being captured by a monster, was being captured by an unstable monster. Was he always like this and noticeable just now because of the face? Why was he even wearing one to begin with?


    Eyes refocused back on me, ¡°That wasn¡¯t a child. There are no families. We don¡¯t reproduce that way.¡±


    ¡°That way, no. But a different way ¨C hell yea you do.¡±


    ¡°I cast off so much there ought to be quadrillions of progenies. Most of the shed flesh gets consumed by others, some develop and grow themselves. By that logic, entire world would be related. Two of us have exchanged flesh, even now you produce my scent. What does that make us?¡±


    I wasn¡¯t prepared for this deep a level of conversation. I had no answers. Serves me right for trying to be smart with a barely portable brain. I was aware most of this was just a personal hang-up.


    I was ready to abandon the topic but the devil wasn¡¯t done nailing that coffin, ¡°You discard your genetic material left and right and don¡¯t seem to worry about it much either.¡±


    My lips twisted up because I was sure he didn¡¯t mean the lost arms, teeth or bloody smears. ¡°Yeah, well, chances of my sperm coming back to haunt me are exceedingly low, seeing as all of my clients were men, but if a kid of striking resemblance comes tugging on the pants leg, I wouldn¡¯t kick it! Hell, goddamn Ruby made me watch over the entire kindergarten¡­¡±


    Fuck. Trying hard not to think about it only tripped me harder later. I stuffed the sentiment back where it came from and grasped for an immediate distraction. I asked, ¡°Couldn¡¯t you just talk to it?¡±


    White-haired monster trudged along as though I hadn¡¯t asked, but I knew he was thinking. Or was lost among his fragments¡­ which essentially translated into deep thought too. ¡°You humans have concept of long lost relatives showing up and asking for favours, especially after financial success,¡± monster spoke as though to a little child, but it struck a chord. Oh hell yeah, I would have loved to mooch off a rich grandparents if I tracked them down. We used to spend hours daydreaming about it.


    ¡°Eyeful¡¯s idea of talking was linking the brain. It¡¯s neither easy nor safe. It smelled of me, so I knew it was capable of assimilation same way that I am.¡±


    Blew a raspberry. ¡°So you¡¯re telling me you were afraid of it? Itsy bitsy puny thing that it was?¡±


    ¡°It could have had other advantages. I¡¯m stuck in my form and habits. Most of me just sleeps, too. It could have been a parent as well. Older and more cunning.¡±


    I have somehow overlooked that this ancient predator did not materialise out of thin air one day either. That place was some nightmare fuel.


    ¡°And yet you charged it after a minor inconvenience,¡± I called bullshit again.


    ¡°Taking a bite of something that smells like me by another grand being is a deliberate challenge. And besides, most miniscule things can become a monumental presence in my world¡­ You had so much potential,¡± he added after a break.


    ¡°Had?¡± I wondered, immediately suspecting ill-intent.


    ¡°My body denatures in presence of your blood; you¡¯d die if I tried improving you.¡±


    So he knew. Disappointment hit me like a hammer. Waved goodbye to my stealthy death plan, as well as belief that perhaps he was starting to respect boundaries. Yeah, fat chance of that being the case.


    ¡°Oh no! I¡¯ll have to die eventually, just like I¡¯ve always wanted,¡± I mocked the crestfallen demon. He had nothing to say.

 18 R 2

    ¡°How bad was the damage to you?¡± I asked after a while of uncomfortable crunching underfoot.


    ¡°No lethal injuries.¡±


    ¡°But injuries nonetheless?¡± I pressed for details.


    ¡°My being has been fractured,¡± monster revealed without a care.


    ¡°Uhh¡­ that sounds pretty lethal,¡± I commented taken aback.


    ¡°Just some parts of me gaining separate awareness.¡±


    ¡°Uh. That¡­ That¡¯s really bad.¡±


    ¡°Worried?¡± he asked with slight smile. It was stunning, the mere notion of it on the unfeeling outlandish fiend. ¡°Part of it is self-inflicted. I overextended, and Sensorial sliced a lot of connections apart. I need to find what is me and what shouldn¡¯t be. It will be fine.¡±


    Several parts of such creature vying for control seemed very far from fine, but maybe some other bit of him would just plunge a tentacle straight through my eye?


    Would be a pity to lose Mr Reasonable here, I had to admit. He seemed nicer than before. Perhaps people of the olden days were onto something with that rehabilitative brain damage.


    ¡°And how is your memory?¡± I narrowed down my inquiry. After all, the plan was to erase the stolen parts of me and I was extremely curious if it succeeded.


    ¡°I know you¡¯re important,¡± he stated and left a lot of room for speculation.


    ¡°So¡­ you don¡¯t even know why you¡¯re doing all this?¡± Shit. So I¡¯m fuming here and spiting fire and this incarnation of the dunce genuinely doesn¡¯t even have an inkling what the hell for.


    ¡°I¡¯ve pieced some of the information back together, but I am hoping you would fill in the gaps.¡±


    ¡°Hah, yea and I guess I can help out with¡­ a several weeks. How¡¯s the rest?¡±


    ¡°Inconsequential.¡±


    ¡°Riight.¡±


    He left my misgivings live their own lonesome life yet again. Watching flakes melt on the red feathers I wondered how much of what he¡¯d said was conversation filler and what was the truth. What if he was just being cautious and didn¡¯t recall much at all?


    ¡°Well. There was that time I escaped enslavement and you showed up to tell me that was far from over. Then they got me again, and you were being a creeper whilst we meaningless humans were abused whole night again¡­ I kept waiting for you to join in and frankly was surprised that you hadn¡¯t bothered to stop the fire or at least warn them.¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t need my help.¡±


    ¡°But you did that anyway. Help,¡± I spat out bitterly. ¡°Nobody asked or wanted that.¡±


    ¡°I did. I wanted to keep witnessing you punching well above your weight category. I suspected you¡¯d find ways to get back at me for it.¡± Monster with human face attempted to smile but it came out weird again.


    ¡°Suure you did. Anyway. Then you¡¯ve dragged me back to your worshippers, killing several monsters en route and a bunch of soldiers upon arrival. Oh and also disfigured one cultist to death right after that.¡±


    ¡°Latter was made to last. If he¡¯s dead that¡¯s on him.¡±


    Charming. I must have scrunched up my nose, because red eyes took notice and no-longer-horned monster went on, ¡°Do you want me to raise that child?¡±


    Was he mocking or¡­ oh lord, he was serious. Child? It was, wasn¡¯t it? It fit the rough definition. That meat-surfing nightmare on two legs. Nauseating existence, blessed with parts of sacrilegious god. Creation of mind governed by impenetrable logic. I really wasn¡¯t ready to discuss anything related to monster genealogy.


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    Shook my head and admitted complete defeat, ¡°I was wrong. I don¡¯t understand a thing. Human concepts can hardly apply to you. Pay me no mind.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t understand a lot, either. You¡¯re providing interesting perspective. Ask, and I¡¯ll explain everything you¡¯d like to know better too.¡±


    He already did. Can¡¯t recall anything he ever chose to keep a secret.


    ¡°If not that, what were you unhappy about?¡± monster wondered.


    ¡°Oh, just¡­ The guy was a jerk, but punishment seemed harsh just for throwing several punches at me. There¡¯s a city full of people who¡¯d done way worse and they¡¯re¡­ well, not anymore I guess. Never mind.¡±


    ¡°Is that so?¡± uncanny human wondered innocently.


    ¡°Yeah. Good riddance to most of them, to be honest. Anyway, we stayed in churchtown for like two days and then left to get got by monster hunters.¡±


    Really, quite brief acquaintanceship all in all. How did it come to this?


    ¡°When did we have sex?¡±


    ¡°I see you¡¯ve kept important details carefully memorised,¡± I quipped. ¡°The first day?¡± I wasn¡¯t sure anymore. Flow of time felt iffy after all that¡¯s happened. ¡°And that wasn¡¯t sex ¨C you just got me off.¡±


    ¡°I was inside of you, and I¡¯ve put you deep inside of me.¡±


    Whoo boy, making an entire copy of me and placing it next to his heart in reality wasn¡¯t remotely as romantic as it sounded. Brownie points for being on top of his flirt game, though.


    ¡°Is that a¡­ monster equivalent?¡± I asked with a dawning understand that indeed it must have been their version of coming together. Brain sharing hazards and all that. ¡°Wellp, good thing that¡¯s never happening again,¡± I stated firmly but inwardly lamented the loss of another such high. Best experience of my life, ten out of ten, would do it again.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t like it. Is that why you sought out a human?¡±


    What a conversation. Chats where my customers wanted feedback were few, but even then I¡¯ve had to smile and lie through my teeth. Here¡­ it felt a little different. He wanted the facts. On the other hand, I could mislead omnipotent being for the rest of Time and that would be pretty hilarious.


    ¡°It was too much¡­ and not enough. I wasn¡¯t done yet, and it¡¯s not like you¡¯ve had a dick anyway. What you had instead was this terrible attitude and that turned me off. For a bit. In that way, you did too good a job.¡±


    ¡°So it wasn¡¯t about that human? You seemed to like him.¡±


    I shrugged my stiffening shoulder. ¡°Eh. Not particularly. I needed a place to crash. And owed him some for nursing me back to health that time.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s good.¡±


    ¡°Why? If you¡¯re gonna try ordering me around or some shit, god help you¡­¡± empty threats, but where was a will there was way.


    ¡°I won¡¯t; I want you to choose me next time. I¡¯ll refrain from unnecessary comments.¡±


    ¡°Oof, buddy. Don¡¯t push your luck. We¡¯re barely on talking terms.¡± But I had to admit, I liked conversing with him when he wasn¡¯t incidentally overbearing. And the pleasure was out of this world. Dying whilst having an orgasm was acceptable too.


    ¡°Noted. What happened afterwards?¡±


    ¡°After what? Oh. Right. Military. Now you care?¡± I grumbled, but was happy to have someone to tell this tale to. It was still pretty sore memory and I rather wished it to fade, but the modern cage remained as vivid as the one with metal bars.


    ¡°Well, you dropped dead and got all goopy, they shot at me a little bit, then I was canned and put in an aquarium. They thought I am a mouth, because surprise surprise ¨C other monsters stayed well the fuck away from me. Then they took an arm off which again ¨C was partly inhuman and that didn¡¯t help my plea at all. And since I was presumed to be like you, there was no food and barely any drink. So I sat dehydrated and bleeding for¡­ I¡¯ve no idea for how long, but eventually one of the monsters came over for a chat. It asked to eat me and I agreed. I was tired, hurting and dying anyway. I didn¡¯t see the harm.¡±


    ¡°How do you know you agreed?¡± fashionable man asked, looking only at me and ignoring everything in his path.


    ¡°Well¡­ I just do?¡± I remember it so. I was somewhat aware of the quandary. ¡°It restored me, didn¡¯t it? Could have just waited for you to get to it while sitting on its thumbs all the while.¡±


    ¡°No. Witnessing my flesh merged with the other¡¯s was just an insult. I would have given you new arm. However many you liked,¡± he said but the delivery was flat and lacking any sense of appropriate drama.


    ¡°Now say that again but make it seem like you mean it,¡± I directed playfully and my tone of voice didn¡¯t fit the sparking anger I felt on the inside, either. I exhaled and went on, ¡°Look¡­ Regardless how gravely offended you were, one of those things would have eventually devoured me¡­¡±


    ¡°They wouldn¡¯t have. There was very specific warning.¡±


    ¡°Warning. Apft. As I was saying, or I would have just died and humans at the lab woulda had nice field day dissecting me to bits and making smoothies out of it.¡±


    ¡°Which wouldn¡¯t take fraction of my awareness to undo,¡± creature pouted and couldn¡¯t stop myself from pulling his cheek. He was so cute when unbearably arrogant.


    ¡°So you¡¯re telling me I should have just died? Nice. Why can¡¯t I do that now, again?¡±


    ¡°Because¡­¡±


    It all would have been fine if the creature hadn¡¯t overreacted.


    ¡°No. Listen the fuck here. I had something to be alive for then. There was a chance to make it home and I took it. If I can save myself I will always do it. Even now.¡± I don¡¯t know why exactly I stopped concealing my cards with this guy. I guess there was no hope of lulling ancient intelligence into false sense of security anyway. ¡°For all I knew you were dead in first place. And even if you weren¡¯t¡­¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t think I was coming,¡± monster finished for me. Yet he had. I might have sounded all dismissive, but part of me still couldn¡¯t help but still be crying tears of joy. Sounded like it was a lot of trouble and that was for¡­ well, over me.


    ¡°No,¡± I admitted the obvious. I hoped, but thus far the only fruit my hopes bore were lemons - which was an odd saying, because those were insanely pricy. ¡°Why would you?¡±


    His chest growled lowly, revealing that this human body was a sham. ¡°I should have given you better nose,¡± an old, familiar snarl tinted words.


    I wasn¡¯t sure how exactly that would have breached the alien language barrier, so just I played indignation, ¡°How dare you! The crook is hardly noticeable!¡± Not to mention one of the monsters probably straightened it out along with all the other scars. I hadn¡¯t really looked into a mirror all that deeply since this mess started.


    The pretender must have been used to my antics and saw right through the concealed confusion. ¡°You would have known. It¡¯s far more acrid. Smell of my main body, which associates with certain death. None of my mouths wear it here. It too violent.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ Between us two¡­ I smell like the real monster?¡± Gloomy assumptions clouded my mind. ¡°So it was fully your fault the military nabbed me.¡± I knew they would have anyway and they were well within their right. I wouldn¡¯t have trusted anything that crawled out of dead demon¡¯s body either. But everything afterwards could have been influenced by reek of doom.


    It possibly was the thing which kept me alive, too. He¡¯d protected me from his kind, just that the real monsters had no sense of smell.


    ¡°It is. I. Am. So. Sorry,¡± monster pronounced each word firmly as though they were inadequate, but found no others in the process.


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t your fault,¡± I breathed out dejectedly. ¡°Not that bit.¡±


    ¡°It is. I could have killed them all before they saw us.¡±


    I wasn¡¯t one to lament injustices of the two worlds. ¡°Yeah, well, what¡¯s the point in having all that power if you can¡¯t allow yourself to dick around every now and then? Anyway. Wanna know what I did next or that info doesn¡¯t affect your timeline anymore?¡±


    ¡°Tell me,¡± he commanded raptly.

 18 R 3

    I looked long and hard at the bane of my recent existence. Did I want to know what he was up to in the meantime? My insistently aching cuts hadn¡¯t allowed me to forget the disposal of the unfortunate by-products. Who could have guessed conscience resided in forearms?


    I didn¡¯t want this fire choked by some convenient half-truths, so I didn¡¯t ask. I heard enough from the other me.


    ¡°Well, right after clambering out of the tottering wreckage, I¡¯ve found myself to be the last man alive, and that you¡¯ve left no woman to shut me down with the classic not even if you are last man on earth. Believe me, I¡¯ve looked.¡±


    ¡°Then I started tripping and hearing voices. Together, we¡¯ve braved the crumbly depths again for explosives and other useful shit. Y¡¯know, the kind that melts your face off. Well, the latter was mostly a happy accident. We really went there to fuel the other guy¡¯s anarchistic tendencies. Then set off to find Snail¡¯s extra body parts.¡±


    ¡°Other guy?¡±


    I shrugged, ¡°Or a girl. I didn¡¯t ask.¡±


    ¡°You said I didn¡¯t leave anyone alive.¡±


    ¡°And also I clearly stated I was getting pretty raving mad about then. Pay attention.¡±


    ¡°Your grey matter harbours no such tendencies,¡± he said but I felt fingers closest to my head twitch.


    I waved it off, ¡°Details. So anyway, he seared path right through the dense woods! It was a nightmare to traverse. And I really didn¡¯t appreciate the swamps¡­ Or rivers. In any case, he did lead me where promised.¡± My retelling ceased as I wondered what befell the sister. Dead, in all likelihood. Another one. I was right to be baptised with reek of certain death.


    ¡°You¡¯ve met another of my kind and you spoke. It wasn¡¯t afraid,¡± monster asked in a roundabout way. I could have been as insufferable as him and ignore issues until they were spelled out, but didn¡¯t feel like sharing too many traits with the bastard.


    ¡°It didn¡¯t have a nose. It was a sparkly monster who would loiter around the city. Got curious where everybody has gone, I guess. He knew who you and your¡­ relative were, once I¡¯d burnt my hands on him.¡±


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    ¡°I should have taken you with me,¡± tone dropped to just above a growl again.


    Why didn¡¯t you? I didn¡¯t shout in his face. Not like I wanted to become unappetising brain paste and experience several lifetimes of subservience as my copies did. Also I appreciated the opportunity to throw stones at the giant. Still, that was one superior cold shoulder he executed. I hadn¡¯t felt this abandoned since early childhood.


    ¡°Why have you sought out the other mouth?¡± monster prompted.


    ¡°To talk to Snail? Duh. Somebody went and killed the conveniently placed phone.¡± Monster had faint beginnings of a frown. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you communicate inwardly? Didn¡¯t you eat that whole time?¡±


    ¡°Of course I did. Some.¡± Not much, but that was the norm. However, it wasn¡¯t what he asked. ¡°I couldn¡¯t talk to it because I wasn¡¯t a mouth.¡±


    ¡°Yes, you were.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s something I would have known.¡± Right? I was one just hours ago for an entire minute before the connection was severed. Fine, maybe less ¨C but the experience stretched. It¡¯s hard to overlook a behemoth crowding you in your own head.


    ¡°It could have concealed itself at the start, but you would have known once foreign material entered your body. Which means, it cut you off and hoped you¡¯d die somewhere far away from either of us once I gotten to it.¡±


    ¡°Or! Or. It did as we agreed,¡± I gesticulated wildly between myself and the dead air.


    ¡°I felt the tether to you as I tore into the appendage. It showed me it¡¯s got you.¡±


    ¡°Well, apparently you do take a lot of nudging to come and meet the extended family.¡± Frankly, good for it. I had nothing against diabolical masterplans.


    ¡°You could have died. Should have, by all accounts.¡±


    ¡°It didn¡¯t need to eat me again, then. But it did. Because I asked.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re infused with chemicals which would end you by my hand. Consuming you again also provided it with a template of targetable things. By then it must have noticed my reaction was disproportionate,¡± monster¡¯s voice was steadfast and austere.


    I nodded along. One didn¡¯t reach ripe age of three hundred million without healthy amount of paranoia. ¡°Except that it was all my idea?¡±


    ¡°Is it really or has it convinced you so?¡±


    My brain did go through the meat grinder twice, so I shrugged. ¡°Does it matter? I did go there to beg it to fight back. I picked up the toxic tins. I walked debilitating distances to get to it. I was ready to pay any price I had to. My fate really wasn¡¯t important. Not then, not now. I completed what I set out to do. But you go ahead, underestimate me twice.¡±


    I know most of it was grandiose coincidence and all the luck I never used on anything else in my life, but I didn¡¯t get to make not-so-empty-sounding threats like those every day. Had to use the chance whilst I could.


    ¡°I never did. It¡¯s why you¡¯re so precious.¡±


    ¡°Aw, monster, compliments will get you everywhere,¡± I teased to hide bashfulness that struck like a surprise fart. I¡¯ve received far more astounding flattery, this reaction was extraordinarily ill-placed.


    Exchange of information ceased and I counted the angry crunching underfoot. Splish splosh, he crossed a creek. It wasn¡¯t comfortable or fully warm, but it would have been worse walking on my own. Sleep wasn¡¯t coming, day¡¯s events kept forcing themselves to forefront. Too bad holding another version of me as he was dying ¨C as I was killing him - would take months to digest. Longer still for it to cease showing up as dreams, if all the other experiences were of indication.


    What was I doing hugging the cause of this mess and travelling to yet another fucked up destination?


    ¡°We¡¯re here,¡± he announced after dozen of creeks and hillocks. I wiggled free before even fully understanding what those words meant. There was a neat row of tall tree trunks. It went out both ways. A defensive picket. Huh, there really was a town out here in the middle of wild nothingness.


    ¡°Don¡¯t kill anybody,¡± I grumbled immediately, thoughts still coloured with glum aftertaste. And I had to admit my caution was pretty valid. I stood next to a devourer of worlds. Or hefty cities, at very least.


    ¡°Don¡¯t get in trouble and I won¡¯t,¡± he replied. Also, fair.


    ¡°Where¡¯s the gate?¡±

 19 V 1

    We didn¡¯t get a chance to blunder around looking for an entrance. The lookout must have heard us speak and shouted for backup. In moments, top of the palisade was manned with protruding tubes.


    ¡°Whoah,¡± I raised my hands ¨C more in a placating gesture than surrender. Before I was done, I was yanked behind impenetrable shoulders. That didn¡¯t stop my mouth from working, ¡°We¡¯re just¡­ travellers. Our car broke down some ways away. We mean you no harm.¡±


    The men and a woman chittered amongst themselves and try hard as I might I caught not a crumb of their dialogue. Then they shouted louder at us and I was completely sure.


    ¡°Shit. I don¡¯t even know what language that is.¡± I¡¯ve heard some weird ones from people who came in with armed convoys, but vocabulary I picked up there would hardly fit this tense standoff, even if the bits were mutually familiar.


    ¡°I do and this gives me an idea where we are at last,¡± monster hummed and went on to chitter back at the locals. Sharply. The tone would have made me slam the door in our faces. I elbowed him.


    ¡°The fuck you¡¯re saying, threats won¡¯t get us out of this atrocious weather,¡± I whisper-shouted. It was also dark already and I hated the absolute blackness of the nature. I put up, aided by determination and anger, but never really got over the snaps of a twig in the night. I wanted to be indoors.


    ¡°It would, but I repeated what you¡¯ve said. Then they asked for details.¡±


    I did notice a couple of guns lower. ¡°Alright¡­ but can you not sound so damn angry? Two severely underdressed dudes strolling out of the blue at nightfall and asking for shelter is extremely damn suspicious. They¡¯ll think we¡¯re a scouting party,¡± all the while I was curled in into my spectacular bathrobe and pretended to be freezing. Most of it was unease, but that emotion was also very fitting for the situation.


    I was also sure our getup did not inspire a lot of confidence ¨C a leather-clad rock star and flamboyant boytoy land on your doorstep. What do you do?


    ¡°Nothing we do will prevent them from assuming so,¡± monster casually commented while lifting hair off his face. With hands.


    ¡°What are you doing now?¡±


    ¡°They want to check for brands.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s practised even in the ass crack end of the universe?¡± Truly, our legal system made leaps and bounds since locking people up in a cages for years. Unwanted miscreants were now simply labelled and kicked out. I wasn¡¯t sure which fate was worse. Eviction almost always spelled death. And the few vagabonds crafty enough to evade monsters? Only obvious nobody wanted to deal with that.


    Flashlight skimmed across the backyard and demon¡¯s eyes reflected light. There and gone, but definitely enough for a neurotic mind to get ideas. Great, now they¡¯ll think we¡¯re a couple of sneaky demons.


    ¡°Soo, how often does your kind take up imitation and try to slither into places?¡±


    ¡°Depends on the kind,¡± he shrugged the question off. ¡°You would know better.¡±


    Would I? I¡¯ve grown up on stories about devil walking among us, but I disregarded those completely. That used to have nothing to do with me. Hell was way out there beyond the city walls and I had no time to worry about it whilst struggling in the purgatory on the daily basis. There must have been humanoid intruders for the military men had no hesitation confining me.


    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    ¡°As though I¡¯m asking for myself, dumbass. Darken your eyes, they¡¯re way too bright a shade to be human.¡±


    The people were deliberating on the fortification. I was sure I could have gotten us in yesterday had I known how to speak this tongue. Worst case scenario that would have involved a little work with my hands with the tall dark and handsome over there, who I presumed to be the leader. Damn, might still need to do some work for a cosy corner to sleep in and some clothes. An elder lady was arguing vehemently, dare I say, in our favour?


    ¡°What¡¯s she saying?¡±


    ¡°You remind her of a lost son.¡±


    Ah, universal language of grief. I can work with that.


    ¡°How do I say please, we¡¯re very cold?¡±


    He coached and I repeated out loud in most pitiful tone I remembered well from the beggar days. The discussion seemed to still, then I swear someone cursed.


    ¡°Come, they¡¯re letting us in.¡±


    We stepped through the gate, but demon didn¡¯t stop there and strolled off right through the crowd towards some unseen destination.


    ¡°Err, wait! Stop.¡± I shouted from a place amidst the people. Two initially dazed armed men were making their way to block the path. ¡°Where are you off to?¡±


    Mercifully, he stopped, but didn¡¯t turn. ¡°To an empty house at the back.¡±


    ¡°Did you tell them that? How normal people would even know it¡¯s there?¡± There were few words exchanged so I hoped for the best. After all, I doubted he¡¯d include owners of the property into execution of those plans. I flashed a nervous smile to the audience and made my way to stand next to the big oaf. ¡°First off, thank yous, then introductions and only then politely we ask to rest where they let us. Teach me. Fast.¡±


    Instructed demon to face towards the crowd as he muttered the words reluctantly. I bowed slightly and apologised to our hosts. Stumbled through the following speech, held hands with the sweet granny who worried about the chill in my limbs. She motioned us further into the small town for I assumed cup of tea ¨C and maybe even overnight arrangements? Gestures were luckily a big part of communication even in edge-of-the-worldsville.


    Quietly observing devil inserted some of his own speech at that time. I frowned, fearing he¡¯d topple over all the rickety good faith I¡¯ve built up, but his tone was milder. Most of the locals must have deemed us genuine doofuses lost in snow and dispersed back into their posts. It was hard act to pull off, all my annoyance was after all genuine.


    ¡°Whuchu talking about?¡± I muttered with half the mouth, still keeping the polite expression.


    ¡°I¡¯ve convinced them to let us use the abandoned house.¡±


    ¡°How?¡±


    ¡°By reasoning they wouldn¡¯t need to stay vigilant in their own homes. Suggested a vacant lodging next to a wall, where they already keep watch.¡±


    I let go of my forced smile and glared tiredly. ¡°We¡¯re gonna be lucky if they don¡¯t kick us out at such blatant mix of threats and manipulation.¡±


    ¡°They don¡¯t have a choice. I am humouring you,¡± dashing monster dismissed my fears and instilled different ones.


    Whilst the group was exchanging encoded arguments, I quipped humourlessly, ¡°Yeah, you could totally use another cult out here in the different boonies.¡±


    ¡°The other one doesn¡¯t complain,¡± monster pointed out and when I didn¡¯t comment on it tried again, ¡°It¡¯s not so bad to be under my protection.¡±


    Blatant manipulation, targeted at me this time. I was impressed only by the audacity. This guy was trying to shit on too many street corners. ¡°Yeh, worked out great for me,¡± I stabbed back remorselessly.


    Two remaining men finished talking to the devil. One lead the concerned lady away and we waved goodbyes. The other whom I assumed to be their charismatic leader, waved us after him. The shack we got wasn¡¯t awe-inspiring. I would have taken it, but demon raised an issue and I let him do whatever he wanted ¨C it worked out for gigantic intelligence thus far. And by the looks of it, he did end up convincing the bulkier man to lead us somewhere else.


    I thanked in their bird language and planted myself face down into a very comfortable couch. After all, I would have been happy with dry corner on the floor. Caught the pained expression on the host¡¯s face right before he left. That prompted me to look around. The dwelling was prim. Dusty, but lovingly arranged and cosy. It wasn¡¯t guest house or spare lodging or an abandoned place. This used to be someone¡¯s home.


    It was also cold and dark. I scrambled to pile the logs off a holder into fireplace, then looked for matches. Startled when flames leapt up and shadows danced all over the carefully decorated walls. Colour of the fire alternated until warm yellows took over the burning process. Demon must have done something, even though he was sitting right over there. Hm.


    ¡°I thought you don¡¯t like resting your behind on cushy things?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡±


    ¡°Please, halt all that enthusiasm, it¡¯s unbearable,¡± I scoffed sarcastically. ¡°Wait. Are you that hurt?¡± I then remembered I wanted it so. It was partly my doing. Toned down my automatic reaction of worry into neutrality.


    Couldn¡¯t muster glee no matter how much he deserved it.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±


    ¡°What is it then?¡± I made my tired brain churn. ¡°Is this got something to do with you wearing a face? Because I¡¯d rather you stopped pretending to be human when it¡¯s just us two. I know what you are and this is just creepy.¡±


    ¡°Am I doing something wrong?¡±


    Most of the time it was just fixed clinical look, but moderation must have been key. ¡°No, expressions are great deal better, just¡­¡± I didn¡¯t like it. It disturbed me.


    ¡°Then there¡¯s no problem. You¡¯re more responsive. The emotional cues are part of innate human communication, as much as smell is to us. It was a mistake to dismiss it before.¡±


    ¡°As I said ¨C I know what you really are. This is so unnecessary.¡± Damn creature was right - I would forget his monstrousness when I didn¡¯t actively think about it. My eyes had something to affix themselves onto and find clues which weren¡¯t there. I hated to have my strings pulled - even if I did that to others copiously.

 19 V 2

    ¡°I¡¯ve something pressing to talk to you about,¡± all-important devil man said out of the blue, dismissing all my qualms as trivial. Since I had no power to influence monstrous mind, I just sighed and gestured him to go on. ¡°Sit,¡± he commanded and I rolled my eyes. The asshole was taking this too far.


    ¡°Just get on with it. I¡¯ve no patience for dramatics.¡± Correction - I had patience for the entire drama theatre, just not from this puppet master.


    ¡°I can bring some of your friends back,¡± he said and I felt like I was falling. The homey living room spun or I wobbled. Knees weren¡¯t into standing so much anymore. Perhaps I did need to sit down. Carpet was cushy.


    ¡°What?¡± I stammered out dumbly. My thoughts raced underwater. So much tension left me that I felt part of my soul depart with it. I felt liberated. Free. Less guilty. ¡°If you do that I¡­¡±


    Imposing man raised a hand to cut me off and I braced for the bad news. Terms and conditions? Who cares!


    ¡°What I mean by that, I can definitely restore the bodies. If I find them. The minds won¡¯t be the same, even when I track all of the matter down. I didn¡¯t consume them with intent to preserve. Some are damaged because they contained memories of you. That¡¯s how¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh,¡± I know I said that and afterwards didn¡¯t hear a thing anymore. High pitched tone overwhelmed my senses.


    This was my fault. I ruined scraps of a chance to get them back. Not that I could have suspected this to be a possibility at all.


    After initial wave of emotions subsided, my analytical mind took over - to begin with, the phrasing, the intention behind it was suspect. I would do anything for this and he knew. The memory wipe was my fault and this was no benevolent god bestowing me grace. He wasn¡¯t doing this out of goodness of his heart and I had no choice in the matter, whatever it was he wanted. This was just another way to pull my strings.


    ¡°And what would you desire for that?¡± I wondered sweetly and as diplomatically as humanely possible. Execution was flawless.


    It didn¡¯t impress ancient horror. ¡°There is nothing you can give which I can¡¯t take. Even now,¡± monster¡¯s tone was stern and blood red gaze - intensive. Uncomfortable. ¡°This is not an exchange.¡±


    Really, it never was with him, but nevertheless - everything was an exchange. Such was the way of the world. Favour? Those too bore hidden costs. However, if the crafty demon wanted to play that game, I would oblige. I will do anything for this.


    ¡°I apologise.¡± With just a hint of consequences, all my manners made a grand return. Leverage does that to people. Monster remained inscrutable, at least to my inept eyes, but silence stretched. ¡°Pease go on,¡± I urged, instead of asking what was behind that fixed stare.


    ¡°So you want their remains back.¡±


    What? ¡°Yes!¡± I nearly screamed. I also vaguely assumed they¡¯d be moving?


    ¡°Very well. You shall see for yourself.


    Not ominous at all. Before I could even have reservations, a shape took form on the couch next to him. It looked like a rapidly growing fruit and was just as eerily silent, at least to my ears. Bumps formed, shape took form. I recognised who this was even before completion.


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    One of Ruby¡¯s girls. She¡¯d even taken name after him - Citrine. Long dirty blond hair, now reduced to a closely cropped halo. Sharp features, made harsher due to the circumstances. Those were improved now, fatty padding landing in all the right places. Face not marred by ingrained unhappiness or badly healed blemishes.


    The difference in how she was then and what she would have been under normal circumstances made my gut clench.


    ¡°Is this not one of them?¡± monster asked watching me intently. I was sure he would have been blind to the facial cues even if I wasn¡¯t on top of my self-control, so that means he was spying on something else. I¡¯d have to learn to control even invisible tells. Annoying.


    I exhaled the words, ¡°No, it¡¯s her.¡± And not at all. Was the personality adjusted accordingly, rough bits lost along with the matching looks? Accidentally or on purpose? Or would the change commence upon being observed? No way to know but to ask. ¡°Wake her up, please.¡±


    Eyes darted around under the lids and then they fluttered open. For a hot moment she looked drowsy but upon seeing there was company, bleariness cleared away immediately. Girl crossed her arms, smirked and addressed us, ¡°Is gunn cost extra for both of ya. We clear on that, aight?¡±


    I froze, because it was her. The speech, the flirtatious tone was spot on. Even the clasp of her arms told me this was no empty shell. It was defensive hold, even if the tits got enticingly propped up. Well, that was all of us at some point. She did not want to be here, was confused, outnumbered and scared. Worst of all, there was not a drop of recognition in young girl¡¯s eyes.


    My hand rested on her naked knee. The touch burned us both and I moved it away. I thought I had a fair share of difficult conversations and yet I couldn¡¯t fathom how to start this one. Couldn¡¯t I spend three god damn minutes thinking of what I¡¯d say, instead of trying to outsmart an ancient oceanic life form?


    ¡°Aw hyel, fine. Since ya both hot, I can lower the rate,¡± girl spoke again and I saw right through the fa?ade. Of course, the eerie silence in an unknown situation would be more terrifying than whatever real fact I could share right now.


    I gave her my happiest disarming grimace, ¡°Oh. Haha. You¡¯re hilarious. Sorry again for spilling that bucket. It¡¯s really an odd lodging, this was all I could find. Funky, isn¡¯t it?¡± I stood up and twirled the bright coloured bathrobe, then dumped it onto her lap. Of course, that now left me naked, but nudity hasn¡¯t bothered me for ages, and perhaps the obvious lack of interest on my part could work to reassure reluctant guest. Citrine curled up under the article of cloth and seemed to relax into my gibberish.


    I twined one of the curtains around me as I babbled on about weather just to keep thawing the atmosphere. Purposefully didn¡¯t leave a lot of room to reply. Gave her all the explanations and excuses. Should I really keep this dialogue so one-sided? Provided too much time to think. What if she noticed all those holes in the memory? Surely, I wasn¡¯t the only thing missing there.


    ¡°A party?¡± girl asked, getting comfortable enough to actually wear the damn thing. My brain must have stopped at the same time the mouth did, I had no idea what she was asking. I must have said something about how or why we ended up here.


    ¡°Yeah! More of your friends should be coming soon.¡± Hm, very generic of me. Those could be anybody ¨C even the jackoffs from the mansion. Dropped few names just to add legitimacy to my flimsy claims, ¡°Amber, Mia. I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll go look for something else to wear. Excuse me. You, come with me. Please,¡± I stared pointedly at the demon. He probably wasn¡¯t one to chat with the rabble, but didn¡¯t want the unfeeling statue to make her uncomfortable again.


    I walked off and impatiently swung my arm forward to urge him, but monster didn¡¯t budge. Once sat, that behind wasn¡¯t going anywhere, it would seem.


    ¡°I discontinued the cognition. You may speak here.¡±


    My uneasiness turned into horror, then mild distaste, then anger. Throughout it all I kept the same expression and did not spell out the wrongness excessively loudly.


    ¡°Excuse me,¡± I said and left the warm sitting room for one of the bedrooms past the kitchenette and stairs. Jumped up, because when I tried to close the door I found it blocked by an unseen predator that stalked right behind me.


    ¡°You might as well speak with words, too. I much preferred it.¡±


    Should I? Should, I?


    The bastard already smelled my agitation.


    ¡°And if I do not do what sir prefers?¡±


    He never punished me even when I¡¯d lose my cool. In fact, it was precisely why it got that far and allowed my real personality to emerge in its full glory. Paradoxically, keeping my peace seemed to cause tension. At least I wasn¡¯t the only one feeling that way for once.


    ¡°If you think I¡¯m recreating them to control you, I might as well scrap that project into the seas. Perhaps one or two will find their way back to you through a sewer.¡±


    Well, fuck.


    I vaguely recalled monster being unhealthily attached to all his bits. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t do that to yourself.¡± Could he do that to me? Either way, this prompted another dilemma ¨C what sort of life would that spell for them? Unsuspecting mouths? Or, worse ¨C aware appendages to a real monster? Was I making a mistake in my selfishness?


    ¡­ Can¡¯t I be allowed to be greedy, just once?


    ¡°I will have to. There¡¯s too many.¡±


    Right. That.


    ¡°So you¡¯d let them go? Just like that?¡±


    ¡°Yess,¡± he hissed ¨C whether insulted or annoyed, I did not know. It didn¡¯t matter. I didn¡¯t care.


    Clutched his lapels and whispered pleadingly, ¡°Don¡¯t discard them.¡± Bargaining never worked here, but sometimes he just did what I asked.


    ¡°Help me fix them instead of quietly panicking and I won¡¯t.¡±


    He won¡¯t. I believed the empty words. They were what I wanted to hear. I gripped monster¡¯s leather collar tighter and decided to bury my misgivings. To begin with, my whole vendetta was about these people. If he restored them, what do I got left to be angry for?


    ¡°Okay,¡± I whispered strangling a sob, which would have escaped with louder words. No conditions were voiced, but I¡¯d be willing to agree to anything anyway. This was fine. I wanted to live that lie for fifteen minutes. This was as close to pure happiness as I¡¯d been for what felt like years.

 19 V 3

    ¡°What was wrong?¡± he insistently asked again.


    ¡°Don¡¯t treat her like that,¡± I demanded in a firmer tone. That wasn¡¯t what he asked, but it was the most pressing wrongness.


    He considered and countered, ¡°I¡¯m yet to see you address each of your fingers before utilising them.¡±


    I brushed his perfectly sound argument away, ¡°She¡¯s a person, not some flesh puppet! Don¡¯t treat us like dirt to be stepped upon.¡±


    He gave it a couple of seconds more, which probably translated into a much deeper consideration than necessary in that alien brain. Instead of arguing, monster just provided, ¡°She was going to run.¡±


    ¡°Smart chick,¡± I sighed tiredly and sagged down onto an unmade bed. Whoever left this place was going to be back momentarily - months ago. There were glasses on top of an open book. Cup of evaporated something. Shook my head free of the insignificant issues.


    Running from a place you¡¯ve no recollection going to was a right choice. Citrine must think we¡¯ve drugged her.


    ¡°I can¡¯t fix her if you don¡¯t talk to me.¡±


    I looked up into a contemptuous stare. Didn¡¯t hold it against the alien life-form. It wasn¡¯t his fault but that¡¯s precisely why I¡¯d rather he didn¡¯t have a face to make all those unbefitting expressions. Sighed again, ¡°She¡­ appears fine. What can you even do if that¡¯s all you¡¯ve scraped off off your intestines?¡±


    ¡°Rearrange cause and effect recollections. Create stimuli. Adjust chemical reactions.¡±


    ¡°Yea¡­ Tha¡­ That¡¯s beyond me. I didn¡¯t know her that well in first place. She¡¯s a combative one. Maybe if we get others and they hear what¡¯s happened¡­¡± I blanked out for a moment imagining such an orderly event, ¡°they can help sort each other out.¡± Yeah, that plan needs some touch-up.


    ¡°How many do you plan on hosting here?¡± monster inquired like a diligent secretary. No judgement or reservations. And yet, that question struck more fear into my veins. It was a good question. One I hadn¡¯t even begun considering. Three? Ten? Twenty? And what then?


    I started gnawing on a nail. Truly, what¡¯s next? I¡¯d hate to ask monster to put them back into his jail pocket. Marching an entire band of hookers and thieving children who¡¯ve never been outdoors through the monster infested wilderness, in winter? How do I even begin to explain materialisation of this ragtag party to the mountain townies?


    ¡°I have to see him,¡± I muttered, blind to all the obstructions.


    ¡°I¡¯m searching,¡± monster replied as if knowing exactly who I¡¯ve meant. He probably did.


    ¡°Do you¡­ think it¡¯s a good idea to be doing this all, here?¡± As opposed to where? Our hometown, which is by now hostile plot of rubble with no food or warmth, overran by beasts or frequented by violently inquisitive military men? And getting there would probably take too fucking long. It was too important to dillydally. I needed to put this ordeal behind me.


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    ¡°You don¡¯t need to worry about that. This settlement is too insignificant to even hope to interfere.¡±


    Well, we can¡¯t all be mighty sea polliwogs! Instead of biting back I clarified, ¡°So you do think it¡¯s a bad idea, but nothing a mass murder wouldn¡¯t solve.¡±


    ¡°It won¡¯t be a problem if they don¡¯t make it one,¡± monster stated simply. After I stared for too long and too hard, still expecting a nonchalant shrug, he figured he had to elaborate, ¡°This place is mine now. They¡¯d do well not to contend that.¡±


    I ended up shrugging, content to leave otherworldly overlord to take care of the little details. It wasn¡¯t a bad feeling to not be the one in danger of getting trampled for once. For some reason, I just couldn¡¯t muster up any fear towards this perilous existence, regardless of everything he¡¯d done.


    Somebody would inevitably be getting underfoot, especially upon seeing the influx of strange foreigners, but I could get behind his reasoning anyway. Frankly, wellbeing of strangers was not something that kept me up at night.


    I tapped the little nightstand with the mysterious book on it. ¡°Right¡­ as for how many. Depends on who. Citrine was close with Amber, Olivia, Mia. Can you find any of them?¡± Getting a circle of close friends together might end badly for me. They would undoubtedly conspire, but then again ¨C if I convinced one, other dominoes would fall in line. And likeminded people would be easiest to convert by saying the right things just once.


    Statuesque rock star¡¯s silence was heavy as he perused his vast archives. I waited patiently for a favourable reply. No, not that patiently ¨C I nosed around in the tiny drawer. Medicines, another pair of glasses, a scarf. Which reminded me I should be looking for clothing and took a dive into a bigger cabinet.


    As I dressed myself in thick woolly pants, knitted socks and several sweaters, my attention kept falling on the dark smears all over my skin. Even if my friends got restored ¨C which appeared to be harder than advertised - there was one more who¡¯s owed justice. Even if I did not feel fear or anger as intensely anymore, even if my grief was dulled by faint hope - I shouldn¡¯t let go of the animosity. The copy still died most gruesomely. By my hand. That¡¯s not something that can be undone.


    I suspected answer before it came. Lull has been way too long. ¡°Well?¡± I asked, because my lifespan was after all limited.


    ¡°Right now I¡¯ve located just one, but individual¡¯s nervous system has been taken apart and retrained. Wouldn¡¯t even understand speech if restored without sections from somewhere else. Which isn¡¯t a problem.¡±


    Not a problem at all, just a missing lifetime. Cold, detached delivery of this nonchalant butcher instilled a much missed hate in me. I knew he tried his best to undo what he has done, but it didn¡¯t erase the fact. Nor, it would seem, the results.


    ¡°Who?¡± I dared ask, because value of some lives was greater than those of others.


    ¡°She might be Mia. Do you wish to confirm?¡± So it might not even be her. Even the monster couldn¡¯t tell for sure. Still, I felt relief for I did not know that particular girl all too well anyway. Or at all. Was it better that Amber was still missing? Would her condition be acceptable if found? And if she wasn¡¯t? My confused heart had no answers for me.


    I shook my head. ¡°She is of no use, then. Who else have you got? That are whole,¡± I replied just as distantly.


    Three more blobs started growing and turning into people balled up on the floor. A bit pre-emptive of him. And all at once? Dealing with one bewildered girl has been near disaster. Moreover, it was too dark to figure out who they might be.


    ¡°I can¡¯t see. Are there any candles?¡± I said, squinting around. Instead, floor lit up in twisting vines. Not brightly. Bluish and just enough to see. I glanced back at dangerous, yet considerate creature, appreciating the fact it weren¡¯t the people who glowed. He held my gaze and I felt he was about to misinterpret it again. Turned away.


    Knelt between two of them and tentatively reached out to tilt a head. A bit damp, but definitely warm, alive people. The touch still gave me goose bumps.


    Body was male, but it didn¡¯t have the face I was looking for. One of the older guys. He made burglary his main business, right until somebody caught him and beat up so badly he lost vision. After that, took up knitwork but branded thieves didn¡¯t get a lot of business. Demon must have fixed up his eyes, so he will undoubtedly be happy about it, and yet that was just another oddness for me to promptly explain away in this overall mess.


    Girl on his left was Isla. She looked just like Citrine and Tom - same short feathery pixie cut, scarless skin and healthier musculature than before. And same age, which was a problem in this case.


    ¡°Can you not read their minds all that well, or is it that our meagre lifespans might as well be over anyway, by your standards?¡± I asked with genuine wonderment.


    ¡°Both. What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s eight. A kid. You¡¯ve shaved off at least a decade of her life,¡± I said and considered if a child would be appropriate to have for the conversation. Not that she could be folded up and put back onto a shelf anymore.


    ¡°I lament your as a species inability to self-repair,¡± demon commented as girl¡¯s features and build softened. ¡°But then again, you¡¯d be too terrifying unchecked like that.¡±


    ¡°Life beyond thirty? Truly scary,¡± I concurred with the sentiment.


    I scooted over to the last one. Dentist. It was a genuine relief to see this surly mope. Body was also older than in actuality, but not by a lot and I figured he¡¯d absolutely love this change anyway. Seeing how he¡¯d look grown up gave me a dopey smile too. This was a healthy young musclehead, not a bag of stunted bones like before.


    I sat back on my heels and exhaled deeply. Hell, getting that one to trust two shady men will be impossible. But great for morale of the team, if there would be a team. Everybody loves them some vicious mini Ruby.


    Not a lot to work with, however.

 19 V 4

    ¡°Everyone else too mangled? Or lost for now?¡±


    ¡°Correct.¡±


    Four out of thirty. People came and went, not all lived with us anymore either.


    ¡°How do you know who I¡¯m after anyway?¡± Has he explained already? Was I too stunned to pay attention? ¡°Do you need¡­ names, maybe?¡±


    ¡°Information unique to individuals might aid. I¡¯m examining areas of burnt-out nerves and deducing what could be lost there. I found a group of people of similar circumstance to yours who know each other. Some are irretrievable. Some could be remade without memory, or partial memory borrowed from the group.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ you recall my circumstances,¡± I put forward warily. He remembered hell of a lot for someone claiming to have memory issues.


    ¡°I started making a lot of copies the moment I¡¯ve realised what my progeny is doing. Even so, very little remains.¡±


    I remained sceptical, but he was in full control of his mental facilities.


    This room had a flush carpet as well and I threaded it. ¡°If¡­ If I didn¡¯t go to it. And you¡¯ve found me. And your brain ¨C and my friends ¨C were fine. Would you still¡­ restore them?¡± I mumbled out my innermost worries. Swirling thoughts could not be contained any longer.


    ¡°Most of their damage was inexplicably caused by me,¡± monster pinpointed heart of the matter and told me one thing I desired to hear the most. Straightforward as always. It didn¡¯t endear him to me, but it sure as hell eased my guilt of complicity in it.


    ¡°Fuck,¡± I mouthed, but not with anger.


    ¡°If you hadn¡¯t gone to find Spreading Eyes, you might also be dead somewhere and there would be nobody to advocate for them either.¡±


    ¡°The other me would have,¡± I argued, staring down a splotch on the back of my hand.


    Monster hadn¡¯t replied, but it felt like he was thinking. He didn¡¯t breathe, but I got that same impression when people inhaled to say something but didn¡¯t. Monster radiated tension, even though he was always strung up. Less today, but still. I looked at him, this time purposefully trying to force an answer out.


    ¡°They didn¡¯t know. There were other concerns to be addressed first,¡± he had eventually shared.


    I snorted loudly with indignation. ¡°That¡¯s mildly put,¡± I replied with wonky imitation of a smile, imagining the horrors. This asshole didn¡¯t even tell my copies they inhabited murderer of our family, and he chose to be dead anyway. Understandable, really. Would it have changed things had he known the entire band of misfits was just around the corner? Yeah, probably. For the worse.


    ¡°This is all so messed up,¡± I whispered to myself. My entire existence has always felt somewhat off-kilter, but these days it¡¯s been completely upside-down.


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    ¡°Can you¡­ restore everyone, from the city? If we get back there,¡± I dared to ask.


    ¡°Some. Less than half. And we¡¯d need to hurry if that¡¯s your intention.¡±


    Right, right. This demon was holding in a sea-sized likely-sentient puke.


    ¡°Need some antacids? I¡¯ve seen some here somewhere,¡± I spoke and lazily crawled towards little nightstand.


    ¡°I¡¯d need to consume another city to restore that one to capacity at leisure.¡±


    ¡°Oh,¡± I sat back down full of disappointment and then frowned some more. ¡°Didn¡¯t you say you already overate? How would more help?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a lot of mass to be shoving back and forth. It gets lost or deformed in transit. A lot simpler to reshape the material that¡¯s already on this plane.¡±


    I shook my head to dismiss grotesque information I idly sought out. None of this was helpful or necessary. I was already too tired and had more important problems to solve.


    ¡°You think I should wait ¡®til everyone¡¯s out, then just sit all of them down in a circle and tell what¡¯s happened?¡±


    Yeah, there still was no scenario I foresaw in which such conference went down in an orderly manner.


    ¡°It will be a while yet,¡± monster cautioned. ¡°Days.¡±


    Right, most of them were still lost to time and space. And monster guts. I had four unlucky contenders to distress ahead of the crowd. I felt so tired, but got myself on my feet.


    ¡°Gimme a minute,¡± I said rummaging through rest of the cabinets and pulling out various garments and depositing them at the feet of my slumbering friends. There wasn¡¯t much, especially for this weather, so I repeated the search in room opposite and then upstairs.


    ¡°Okay, wake them up,¡± I tossed down the final handful and felt winded. Perhaps a little too much darting about for so little blood I carried. I was extremely thirsty, too, but was not about to wander out to shovel the snow.


    The trio¡¯s eyelids twitched and began opening one by one. Dentist was first one to jump up, the blind man and the juvenile stared wide-eyed and mouths agape. I was ready for tumult and tried to appease from a distance with open palms.


    ¡°There¡¯s been an accident. You¡¯re all okay. Please, get dressed and I¡¯ll explain everything,¡± I said instead of lapsing into some terribly unbefitting joke and getting socked in the face.


    ¡°Why¡¯re we all naked in first place, old man?¡± surly brat demanded with fists at the ready. Not a terrible first question. Also, not something to jump right into.


    ¡°Who you callin¡¯ old man, old man?¡± I pointed at his broad chest. Dentist clearly hadn¡¯t noticed yet. However, I¡¯ve forgotten the irritable child was only subdued with friends and that I wasn¡¯t one in his eyes anymore. A young man built sturdier than me, advanced with intent to hurt. I winced just thinking about it.


    ¡°I can see!¡± the guy behind Dentist exclaimed with such overflowing happiness that the latter stopped as if forgetting why. Looked back at Tom and their gazes locked.


    ¡°Denti?¡±


    ¡°Ya,¡± it was brat¡¯s time to gape.


    Tom grinned like a madman. ¡°Didn¡¯t realise you¡¯ve grown so much! Oh my god! I can see.¡±


    The little girl shared in on the unreserved excitement and bounced up sitting down. ¡°Yay! Finally! Your turn to read to me now,¡± she clapped. ¡°And he has grown! A lot! Was so small just earlier today.¡±


    ¡°How?¡± Dentist wondered to himself. Then turned back to glare at me and demanded, ¡°How.¡±


    Keeping my traitorous trap shut, I just pointed at the pile of scavenged goods. It was still dreadfully cold in this room and perhaps that¡¯s what really prompted the dress up. Tom and Isla were chattering between themselves, whilst the one with self-preservation kept glaring at the outsiders.


    I was an outsider.


    Didn¡¯t think I cared enough what anyone besides Ruby thought and wouldn¡¯t have bothered to return to this group if its key element was missing. However, this unexpectedly stung. People I knew were no more. Life I had was thoroughly gone.


    ¡°Whuchu starin¡¯ at?¡± crabby new adult barked. I wasn¡¯t impressed. If he spent all this time dressing instead of giving me a stink eye, there would be nothing to stare at.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, your precious virtue is safe with me,¡± I winked to add promptness to his moves and was obliged. Dentist might have tried to act tough, but beneath all that hid skittishness.


    After everybody was bundled up and I waved towards the door, petulant child acted up again, ¡°No. We¡¯re not going anywhere. What do you want and who even are you, asshole?¡±


    I bowed in an introductory manner, ¡°I¡¯m Asshole. Friends lovingly call me Ass, but I¡¯m just Hole to everyone else.¡±


    Too much on the nose? Stunned hush told me they didn¡¯t know how to take it. In another life they would have laughed.


    Just as a snarling face was about to take it as some sort of insult, Tom clasped overgrown child¡¯s shoulders to calm him. ¡°He said he¡¯d explain. Let¡¯s just go.¡±


    ¡°He can do it here!¡± problem child insisted.


    ¡°I can, but there¡¯s fireplace out there and Citrine would be really disappointed if we left her out,¡± I enticed.


    Isla wasn¡¯t high on tension and nefarious plots and just pattered out to seek out other friends. I didn¡¯t think it was healthy to run face-firsts into potential danger either, but she¡¯d eventually learn. Dentist¡¯s cautiousness ¨C albeit utterly pointless in most situations including this one - was the correct approach.


    Tom confidently strode out too, glad to be able to navigate without touch. The brat kept scowling rooted in place. ¡°I knew you just wanted to stay with me,¡± I gave him a suggestive grin in return. Perhaps it wasn¡¯t wise to tease him so much, but I just couldn¡¯t resist. I would need to discontinue the effort if the expression would keep on signalling horror instead of annoyance.


    However, it was best way to get him moving.


    ¡°Did you wake her?¡± I whispered to the quietly following demon.


    ¡°Yes.¡±

 19 V 5

    The ambient temperature was a delight. Expectant faces not so much, but they still reminded me of the happiness I used to have. They all looked at me as though at an enemy now. In their eyes I was a kidnapper, at very best.


    ¡°You may all be wondering why I¡¯ve gathered you here today¡­ and that¡¯s because one of you is a most heinous killer,¡± I misquoted some movie I¡¯ve partially seen long, long time ago. Joke hadn¡¯t landed, and from the tension I realised they too must have stashed away a body or two. Now there was more agitation and not just from sullen brat.


    I threw an arm out, ¡°None of you seen that movie?¡±


    ¡°No, asshole, we don¡¯t sit on our asses all day!¡±


    They must be too young. There weren¡¯t many TVs even back when we¡¯ve been little. The shop in which we¡¯d catch occasional glance had theirs stolen years ago. Guess who got blamed. In truth, we would have ¨C but the task had been beyond our amateurish capabilities at the time.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that exactly what you do?¡± I asked of the apprentice pickpocket. Granted, that involved a lot of running too ¨C but only if he was very bad at it. And I suspected this punk peddled other things on the side, which did in fact involve staying put.


    ¡°We¡¯ve been promised some answers,¡± Tom calmly put forward and that¡¯s when I knew time was up. As the (formerly) blind man he always had to be careful with words and spent more time listening than interceding and potentially causing problems.


    I also knew I forced familiarity too much, but kept hoping that maybe it would trigger something and maybe they¡¯d remember anything. The cold stares were difficult to withstand.


    ¡°Citrine, I lied. There¡¯s no party. I just didn¡¯t know how to say this,¡± looked away from the confused young woman into entirety of the group. ¡°There has been monster attack on the city, it¡¯s destroyed. Everyone¡¯s dead. You are the few survivors, and perhaps several more of your friends will arrive later.¡±


    ¡°Ya¡­ are jokin¡¯, right?¡± Citrine eventually disturbed fireplace¡¯s peaceful crackling and attempted an unconvincing smile. Tom shared same broken expression. The younger two just looked mystified. In summary, they all thought they¡¯re in a company of a maniac and are about to die. Dangerous state of mind to have right now for everyone involved.


    ¡°I realise I didn¡¯t establish myself as the most genuine guy in the room thus far, but I¡¯m serious about that bit. It¡¯s true. It¡¯s real.¡±


    ¡°Nonsense, troops are armed to the teeth! Militia too. Everyone¡¯s armed. There¡¯s cannons, perimeter.¡±


    ¡°Ah yes, the deeply porous perimeter wall everyone crosses to loot or dump bodies,¡± I pointed out. ¡°And you are, of course, aware that not all monsters die to bullets.¡± If they did, the whole of humanity wouldn¡¯t sit barricaded indoors.


    ¡°Still, that¡¯s a lot of people! Half a million, at least! You¡¯ve got audacity to claim everyone¡¯s just gone? And I don¡¯t remember any of it. How did we get here? Did you drug us? What are you playing at?¡± Dentist stood with fists balled up again.


    I could argue that abducting handful of losers living on the fringes was way too much effort and perhaps these particular few would lack imagination and believe impracticality of it, but my heart wouldn¡¯t be in that explanation. I knew better. I could also point to the almighty demon in question, but did not want us to become the reason of their demise. There would be no salvaging that first impression.


    ¡°What is the last thing each of you remember?¡± I misdirected instead.


    Warm light danced on frowning faces. Tom, as if noticing it too got up and walked to a window.


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    ¡°There¡¯s snow,¡± he sounded aghast. ¡°And firs. Where are all the flats? Are we in a rich neighbourhood?¡±


    ¡°No way,¡± Dentist strode up to take a gander too. Intrigued, girls followed.


    ¡°Of course there¡¯s snow, Peachy gave me her jacket because of it,¡± Isla confirmed, but I¡¯ve remembered the event and it was whole different winter. Well, obviously.


    It was such a skimpy little thing that it fit the child comically well. For a time Isla was the most stylish six year old around. Whatever happened to it? I couldn¡¯t recall at all. I also let a frown slip out because of course that traitorous bitch remained comfortably tucked up in their fond memories. Not me.


    ¡°I¡­ I ¡®member tha¡¯. But feels¡­ wrong somehow,¡± Citrine stuttered along.


    Forgetting me and unobtrusive monster they deliberated among themselves for a couple of minutes. I let it play out, taking a moment to calm my rocketing anxiety. The hands were beginning to shake. I was dying to crack an inappropriate joke and make everyone forget this dumb situation. Myself first and foremost.


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t explain how I¡¯m able to see. And I have all the missing teeth again too. No brand, either.¡±


    ¡°Or why he that much older. I wusn¡¯t even sure tha¡¯s Dentists at first. How long has¡®t been?¡± woman in the ridiculous bathrobe added in, overlooking that Isla didn¡¯t grow at all.


    ¡°Citrine, you¡¯ve changed too! Your face is like new,¡± Isla complimented eagerly. She wasn¡¯t wrong.


    ¡°What the hell is going on?!¡± Dentist shouted and remembered there should be someone with all the answers. And indeed, here I was! What an impressive glare. Fuck.


    I could say military patched them up with some advanced tech? We knew they hoarded most precious resources for themselves, but therein was the conundrum. And why would they drop off the survivors so far away, at some unheard mountains? Though locals wouldn¡¯t be able to disprove this bold claim, but at that point I¡¯d have bigger explanations to do. Fuck, all of this seemed smoother on paper. Why couldn¡¯t their brain damage be at least a bit useful?


    Still as observant as ever, Tom put in, ¡°Why do you act like you know us?¡±


    Air whooshed out of my lungs for I really desired to tell them. Issue was, there was no situation in which they¡¯d believe they¡¯d forgotten one of them. They completely dismissed the monster attack, which was a frequent and far more likely occurrence. But that question still provided me with a buoy.


    ¡°Ruby,¡± I muttered the forbidden word which burnt that empty space in my chest where soul ought to be. ¡°I¡¯m friends with Ruby.¡±


    The befuddled group exchanged raised up eyebrows and my heart sank. He couldn¡¯t have been completely erased too! After all he¡¯s done for them.


    ¡°Whe¡¯ is he?¡± Citrine demanded.


    Oh, thank fuck. ¡°I am hoping he¡¯ll be here soon,¡± I didn¡¯t even lie.


    ¡°This asshole is just distracting us! He told us literally nothing, just stalled for time!¡± Dentist bristled up again. This child was genuinely making us proud. ¡°We should go.¡±


    I interrupted the tantrum, ¡°I need to know. Do any of you remember him getting shot? What happened afterwards?¡±


    ¡°He was shot?!¡± multiple voices muddled, then Citrine retracted and tried again, ¡°Wait. He wus, wusn¡¯t he?¡± Anticipation was concentrated into a gravitational force and aimed at the sharp-featured woman. Her lips scrunched up this way and that. ¡°Tha¡¯s all. I vaguely know we lookt fo¡¯ doctor. Is he alright? Did we find someone?¡± she asked of me, doing her best to weaponise the expectant air against me now.


    ¡°You did,¡± I revealed and chortled at ridiculousness of that. I, who wasn¡¯t there, knew more.


    Dentist had finally had enough. He strode forward with bigger than mine frame, grabbed onto the many sweaters and shook. ¡°What¡¯s so funny, fuckwit?!¡±


    That I don¡¯t know any more either. ¡°Your face,¡± my idiotically grinning lips delivered. Don¡¯t know why I kept antagonising him. Because he was my replacement Ruby? How was that guy reacting at the start? I couldn¡¯t remember.


    I was about to get several teeth removed, but overgrown child¡¯s arm stayed fixed in the air, regardless of strain. And I saw him trying to force it. ¡°What the fuck?!¡± he shouted at last, choosing to shove me instead and address his sudden paralysis. I wasn¡¯t grateful for the save. Felt like I¡¯ve been punched in the face anyway.


    Right then, someone knocked and front door burst wide open. The elder lady stepped over the threshold with a big plate in her hands. Two armed men followed her in, clearly not trusting their precious matron with brutes from the wild. Deservedly.


    Upon seeing a roomful of strangers, the old woman exclaimed, foreign men shouted and shoved her behind them and aimed guns at unexpected people. They spoke but I felt like most of it was swearing. Some things didn¡¯t need translation.


    The tray with the buns was knocked over and everything lay on the ground. I couldn¡¯t look away from the indifferently trampled food.


    Okay, so I knew this confrontation would come too, but right now was way ahead of the schedule. Ha - and I dared to think this heart-to-heart was disastrous before! I really should learn to dream big.


    Men kept shouting at us in a language I couldn¡¯t understand. I couldn¡¯t pacify them with funny remarks and plausible excuses. There was nowhere to run. This was it, I could go no further. This felt very much like drowning, just there was no surface in any direction. I turned to look at the poised guardian deity, who somehow managed to completely fold into a compact role of passive observer.


    ¡°Help,¡± I whispered looking into dark brown eyes and they promptly brightened into red.


    It suddenly became hard to breathe, as though something sat on my back but also on the chest too. I need to not be here. It was a sole insistent thought in my head. I tried to walk, but couldn¡¯t. Sweat broke out and I desperately wanted to check behind me, because there was something there, even if my rational mind knew I¡¯m staring straight at the cause of this feeling.


    I needed to get to the wall. Turned away and tried sidling away, willing my frozen body to save itself. To at least not have my back exposed ¨C then I can start thinking of getting through the doors.


    Finally, I arduously shuffled fraction of a step away and my knees buckled. To my utmost horror, I did not fall ¨C something caught me. The something I didn¡¯t see nor hear, couldn¡¯t observe ¨C but it twined around me. I would have flailed and screamed, but the air pressure still made my limbs feel leaden and lungs full of tar.

 20 V 1

    Front door closed and the strain disappeared. I gasped and tasted a most delightful lungful of tangy air. That was him. His smell. Just far more noticeable. Even I could discern ¨C incorrectly - some undertones. Because even in this state I knew the wet, rotting foulness like corpse hidden under floorboards within otherwise pristine and gleaming butcher¡¯s venue couldn¡¯t possibly be accurate. Monster smelled so mouth-wateringly inviting and yet harrowing.


    ¡°Uh?¡± I exhaled a brilliantly designed question. It contained everything I could ask sans all the needless blabbering. My speeding heart still urged me to get away from the danger.


    ¡°Can you stand?¡± a voice that wasn¡¯t so much loud as it was deep asked way too close to my ear. Inhumanness of it made me hunch in and reach for the ears.


    ¡°Uh-uh,¡± I automatically complied with whatever the enormous existence wanted of me. My brain tried to figure out how it fit into this tiny cabin and shorted out. Of course, I knew he was massive, but now the meatsuit was aware, too. That simple animal which always swam back to shore no matter how much I wanted to stop. It didn¡¯t like this incalculable danger one bit.


    Inappropriately small monster unclasped his inexplicitly human arms ¨C not clasper claws or anything ¨C and I began to tumble downwards again. Arms tightened around me again but I didn¡¯t shudder. Perhaps the mere fact he¡¯d allow me space was enough to quell panic.


    Monster walked us to a couch and I gratefully plopped down. He joined me, looking regal as fuck with the curling, but remarkably orderly mane. The effect was doubtlessly enhanced by four kneeling subjects. I wasn¡¯t the only one suffering from onslaught of chilling sensations.


    They looked worse than I felt. Pale, shaking, cowed. Nobody raised their heads to look. Besides standing, which I could probably pull off already if I really tried, I felt fairly normal. Of course, this wasn¡¯t my first brush with the surreal and I was also fully aware the creature masquerading as a man couldn¡¯t eat me.


    He wasn¡¯t fixing their distressed state and I wondered if it was because I kept insisting he quit that or whether it was part of the show and tell. This trick totally forced everyone take a step back and give me some much needed room to sort myself out. Most importantly, got rid of unwanted interlopers. Which, in turn, raised questions¡­


    ¡°Will they be back, presumably with more firepower? Or is this house about to get set on fire?¡±


    ¡°No. I erased their short term memory and encouraged exhaustion. They¡¯ll sleep.¡±


    ¡°And so they¡­ walked out? All on their own?¡± Now that was plainly insulting. Can¡¯t believe these foreigners had such tough skin.


    ¡°No,¡± monster did not elaborate and I dared to think it was because he thought I wouldn¡¯t like how he¡¯d done it. I didn¡¯t hate this emerging mindfulness. I was just glad the nice grandma wasn¡¯t dead. This was handled much better than I could have ever hoped.


    In any case, that disaster seemed to have moved back down to its later spot on the timetable. Others might suspect something foul afoot, but perhaps won¡¯t act tonight. Even then, the monster can probably cause another blackout, just on wider scale. In all likelihood he could rock entire planet without breaking a sweat. Chilling thought. However, he hadn¡¯t done that thus far and it was a cause for relief. Wait, would I even know? Whatever. What I don¡¯t know can¡¯t bother me.


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    I noticed one set of eyes looking up at us. Dentist was still pale and petrified, but determined to resist. Right, that situation sorted but this one remained. And it could have been executed entirely differently. Unnoticeably. That he¡¯s chosen this approach probably meant I¡¯ve fucked up my part and he was taking over the negotiations.


    I kept waiting for bombastic words starting along the lines of you foolish mortals, but nothing was said by anyone. My former friends calmed down, but nobody stood up. They all remained on the floor somewhat huddled in, casting stealthy glances over to the sofa every now and then.


    I guess he just lent some credibility and left the rest in my hands. My friends, my problem kind of thing. Of course, why would a noble existence address its appendages? I cleared the throat. ¡°So, what was it you said about everyone being armed?¡±


    Dentist¡¯s jaw clenched and unclenched several times with indecision, but he chose to remain difficult. ¡°That¡¯s just one guy.¡±


    Ah, ye of little faith and equivalent amount imagination. The brat still thought this was a human. Sure, it was hard to marry this form to the roiling arrangements of little sense we¡¯d witness outside the walls.


    At least nobody pointed fingers at us and called for branding. Was there even a brand for mass murder? Double Ms?


    ¡°That was equivalent of him sneezing,¡± I batted my eyelashes portraying some confusion on my part, trying to impress that they did not want a repeat performance. Or one of greater value.


    Citrine grasped Dentist¡¯s forearm to hush the silly child. ¡°Are ya whut saved us? Thank you¡­ Ya s¡¯how manipulate memories?¡± Woman¡¯s brow was furrowed as though she was trying to work it out, but was just short on information.


    ¡°And physical health?¡± Tom added up. Just like that, all the jagged puzzle pieces fit. ¡°Thank you. You¡¯ve no idea what being able to see means to me. Thank you so much.¡±


    I smiled hiding my real feelings. They wouldn¡¯t be so grateful if whole story was revealed, which I still couldn¡¯t bring myself to do. I didn¡¯t hate the shift in the attitude. We were a wary group, but most of these bonds formed from senseless selfless acts. We the unlucky bunch couldn¡¯t rely on anybody, so the few who¡¯d show kindness were precious and to be held onto at all costs. Fostered.


    It was for the wrong reasons, but for however brief a period some semblance of trustworthiness was restored. I¡¯ll never reveal the truth. Monster still didn¡¯t seem inclined to communicate with his toes, so I probably didn¡¯t need to worry about him either.


    Not wanting to keep dancing in the minefield, I swerved away, ¡°So ey, this nice lady brought us some food. Wonder what that is. I¡¯m starving.¡±


    I jumped up off the couch and headed towards the door. Picked up a trampled bun, dusted it off and chewed. Meat and vegetables inside! ¡°Hey guys, this got good stuff in it! Come look,¡± I turned to herd presumably reluctant gang, but these people knew value of unguarded food and were right behind me.


    They were still wary and confounded, glancing over their shoulder to the enigmatic man on the couch who completely dismissed everyone else.


    ¡°Don¡¯t eat,¡± he suddenly grouched and all of us stopped mid-bite. Well, me. The revivees had barely picked theirs up. The obvious command warred with life-long habit of consuming everything in sight as fast as possible. ¡°You¡¯re not even hungry,¡± monster insisted and I grinned wide to my dawning realisation. That¡¯s what forced the mighty brain go talking to his misbehaving mouths! He would end up digesting it and I vaguely recalled dislike for cooked consumables. How adorable. I wanted to urge my buddies to eat and therefore force him to enjoy these delightful creations, but was sadly too tired for mayhem. Also, a little grateful for diffusing explosives at the dead-end I¡¯ve found myself in.


    ¡°That¡¯s right. Sorry, I forgot. Your bodies are better off without it for now,¡± I said and gestured for them to hand over the goodies. They were fiercely reluctant. Obviously. ¡°You¡¯ll get a seizure and Isla will cry,¡± I lied through my teeth and pointed at the child in question.


    ¡°Will not,¡± she disagreed, guarding the precious meat bun.


    ¡°And they¡¯ll cry when you get sick and die,¡± I emotionally manipulated the child, too.


    ¡°Who¡¯s th¡¯guy ¡®nyway?¡± Citrine whispered at me, ripping the food out of everyone¡¯s claws and putting it back onto the tray. There weren¡¯t many, but still extremely generous for two visitors intruding in the night. Exactly one for each of us now, but by the looks all were now mine. I really liked that sentimental lady and applauded the men who came along to safeguard the charitable soul.


    I was still surprised they thought of red-eyed monster as a human. But then again, I did meet him as a horned beast without a face. That definitely helped to have perspective. Shrugged a non-answer, ¡°Oh, y¡¯no¡­ Just a guy.¡± There was really nothing more I could say. On any subject. I wish they stopped asking.


    ¡°I know a dude like that. They¡¯re nothing special,¡± Dentist interceded with a scoff. He usually wasn¡¯t one to brag or make things up. In fact, it was hard to pry anything out of the little shit normally. Which meant he really might have known another demon. Or more likely, a mouth. Within a city! How come I never ran into those?


    Best not to spook him with overly intrigued enthusiasm. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t know special if it smacked you on the ass,¡± I dismissed the claims completely.


    ¡°Well, that¡¯s why I said he isn¡¯t so! He just dripped water everywhere. It mostly just stung and only actually hurt if he got in a fight - and still got the shit beat out of him every time. Completely useless, the dork.¡±

 20 V 2

    ¡°Coulda been sum skin condition?¡± Citrine argued and she¡¯d know ¨C girl¡¯s puberty came at such force it literally stopped just short of dripping acid. She also unknowingly gave voice to my scepticism. Priest seemed capable of going against an armed squad, just very reluctant to. Many-eyed sister turned the entire meadow into a bear trap. But what did I really know of mouths? Perhaps some were just slaves with no added benefit.


    Dentist shrugged and hunched in like the twelve year old that he was, suddenly unsure of himself. ¡°I asked teachers and they were adamant people aren¡¯t like that. The next day soldiers came to school looking for me. Not militia, the real deal. The parade uniforms.¡±


    Is that why he stopped going there? Whenever we asked he¡¯d just say it¡¯s a waste of time and he¡¯s better off working. As to what that was, was also mostly a mystery. Frankly, we didn¡¯t care enough. Everyone¡¯s been their own person and we weren¡¯t their parents. But this has been an eye-opener. No wonder the brat kept secrets. Was he afraid we¡¯d snitch on him too? A bit strange, seeing as offending people would literally drop out of sight sometimes, but who was I to dunk on other people¡¯s idiosyncrasies?


    Tom, the most sensible one, shouldered to stand in front of gloomy child and shook him once, ¡°Is that why you really skipped school? Hey, you know you can trust us. Most would kill to keep you safe.¡±


    True, but also false. Keyword was most. Even I didn¡¯t trust majority of the gang. Some did not hesitate to steal or sell us out. To most people, even closest ones ¨C and perhaps especially them, kindness was just an opening to be exploited. I had nothing against that - I did it on all appropriate occasions. Even being let into this village and get fed was mostly emotional manipulation. That just meant I looked out for it.


    Dentist shrugged not really agreeing to the sentiment either. Tom on the other hand probably would not hesitate to do the unthinkable. He was a steadfast guy, but I suspected most of it developed after his injuries. So to say, he didn¡¯t take the household for granted.


    Citrine¡¯s thoughts still lingered on more important matters, ¡°But damn, tha¡¯ means yo guy has really been involved with monsters. Like¡­ us?¡±


    ¡°Oh no! Are we going to be dripping water now?¡± Isla wondered with wide-eyed horror. I giggled, imagining taking the teasing a level further and asking monster to make this little worry real. Nah, a bit too harsh. Instead!


    ¡°Oh no, you might really grow a monstrous unibrow now!¡± I pointed at Dentist and laughed. No, he didn¡¯t really have one ¨C yet, just two massive caterpillars that threatened to meet whenever he grimaced. I didn¡¯t often tease him about it but today after all was extra special.


    After a brief flash of anger Dentist just looked at me unusually attentively instead of reacting in any way. Darn it, with grown body he¡¯s also received self-control and wisdom.


    I rubbed my eyes due to tiredness and sighed. ¡°Anyway. Please don¡¯t go outside¡­ for now. We snuck you in and I¡¯d hate for any of you to get shot. As you¡¯ve seen, locals speak gibberish and so you won¡¯t even be able to talk yourselves out of it. I¡¯ll¡­ We¡¯ll probably need to meet them and introduce to the idea of bunch more foreigners squatting in their backyard, but I hope it¡¯s not today. And anyway you¡¯ll need to decide what you want to do next. Perhaps we can keep it a secret right until we leave,¡± that would be a nice solution. And this crowd knew how to keep low profile if it was necessary. ¡°I¡¯m clocking out. Goodnight.¡±


    There, I did my best to forewarn them. Their wellbeing now rested in their own hands.


    I stole the tray away from hungry eyes and turned for the stairs. Cast a glance towards the demon, almost wanting to ask him to go with me but did not need to. He silently followed. I heard bits of the resumed fervent conversation. They had a lot on their minds.


    ¡°Can you keep an eye on them and do the memory wipe thingy again if they get in trouble?¡±


    ¡°They won¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°You clearly don¡¯t know them,¡± I was very sceptical. Sitting put in an oblivious contentment was just another way to get fucked over.


    ¡°I¡¯ll discourage it.¡±


    He probably could make them agoraphobic or something. ¡°You know what? I¡¯m too tired to know.¡± I¡¯ll be angry about it tomorrow, I decided.


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    Instead, I splayed out onto the bed and stuffed the very late dinner into my facehole. It was so good. We sometimes cooked, but the results had always been dreadful. The room was warm from the stone chimney too. I could get used to living like this. Of course, I¡¯d probably feel this way about any house with actual furnishings and no draft.


    I snorted lightly, ¡°I really wanted to make you taste these through them.¡±


    ¡°I suspected so,¡± he replied just as softly. Demon took a seat on some other surface. It creaked and I judged it to be near the door. I couldn¡¯t see shit again. ¡°It¡¯s good that you did not.¡±


    His good and mine were on entirely different spectres and I got the impression it wasn¡¯t about distaste at all. ¡°What, are you so overtaxed can¡¯t take three more bites?¡±


    He hesitated upon reply and I knew I wasn¡¯t wrong. ¡°I can, but they would have felt me.¡±


    Oh, lovely. I averted another major crisis by sheer accident. These grim dealings weren¡¯t really humorous no matter how hard I tried to look at them so.


    ¡°How does that work anyway?¡± I asked after losing my appetite. Kept on shovelling anyway because there was no telling when I would get to eat again.


    ¡°I¡¯d need to put new substances away. Channel to the main body would open. It¡¯s¡­ hard to miss.¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t you just ignore it? Let their bodies process it. I assume there are prerequisite organs?¡±


    ¡°There are, but the process is close to reflex. Imagine trying to force food go down your lungs instead.¡±


    ¡°What, big boy like you can¡¯t reshuffle your organs a little?¡±


    ¡°Not right now,¡± he didn¡¯t even pretend and I immediately missed the usual arrogance. Perhaps I mislabelled it. He wasn¡¯t ever bragging, merely speaking the truth all along.


    ¡°Sorry,¡± I felt bad for trying to get cheap laughs at an injured person¡¯s expense. Words of thanks were on the tip of my tongue but they would not be tumbling out. I could be so bold and say he was doing all this for me, but it was also all his fault, so¡­


    Monster did not comment. Perhaps the concept was unknown on his side of universe or he didn¡¯t care. Either way, sorries never fixed anything so I agreed with dismissal of it.


    ¡°Was that guy really a mouth?¡± I didn¡¯t bother specifying which one. ¡°Why was he so weak?¡±


    ¡°Yes. He probably was new and hadn¡¯t figured out how to chew. Your social circle seems to struggle with nutrition.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ is that¡­ another weird term for more of them whacky monstrous dealings?¡± I couldn¡¯t stop myself from taking a reluctant guess. Didn¡¯t need this nonsense right before bedtime.


    ¡°When mouths consume, connection opens both ways and they can pull from body¡¯s resources to adapt to the situation. After all, nothing living desires to be eaten. Prey is bound to resist.¡±


    ¡°Charming. Don¡¯t mind me if I wake up screaming from dreaming just that,¡± I complained turning away and rummaging for duvet.


    ¡°That¡¯s not what you¡¯ll dream,¡± he said into absolute darkness and I shuddered for all of the reasons. The memories, the fears, the death that lay on my hands, his fucking audacity.


    ¡°Enjoy rummaging the stolen insights because that¡¯s the closest you¡¯ll get to me,¡± I croaked out. My nerves were frayed and throat - parched. Bready dinner did not improve situation. Neither did a spike of anger.


    I felt the bed dip in direct denial of my flimsy oaths. I turned back to be all disgruntled, but was merely offered a big, rounded mug. I saw it because the thing was glowing. And contained liquid.


    Confusion overtook the irritation and I corked an eyebrow at unpredictable creature. ¡°I swear we already had that conversation, I ain¡¯t drinking your juices! Although you did pay...¡± I squinted with recollection and admitted for whatever reason, ¡°I lost the coin.¡±


    ¡°I remember. It¡¯s melted snow. From outside,¡± man with lush mane explained patiently.


    I opened my mouth to ask just how exactly he conjured such substance out of thin air, but then remember just who exactly I was vaguely looking at.


    ¡°I can also just put you into dreamless state, if you like.¡±


    ¡°Sure,¡± I said as if there really was a choice. I was far too thirsty and fatigued to refuse the water. I gulped down about half of the bucket and then noticed outstretched palm with a pill resting on it. Shrugged, swallowed it down and curled back on the bedding. Few things can be worse than lying awake until dawn, thinking about everything that went wrong, then finally exhausting myself beyond ability to function and dreaming about it some more. If I don¡¯t wake up, oh well.


    ¡°I¡¯m aware you hate it, but I don¡¯t regret knowing you,¡± he spoke as I drifted.


    ¡°I don¡¯t hate being known¡­¡± which was a big fat lie. ¡°I hate being forced into it,¡± I might have mumbled out. That much was real. I did not hear a reply if there was one.


    I woke sprawled out under the soft blankets and felt like I¡¯m still dreaming. I did not have the words to express the level of this comfort. After lifetime of sleeping on pavement and then weeks of running around through the woods, lying in bed ¨C with actual sheets on everything ¨C was surreal.


    I caught a festoon of finely made hair in my periphery and decidedly turned away from that. I shall have no problems intruding on me so early in the day! That said, it was still darkish, but I felt so well rested. In fact, too well. There was not a drop of drowsiness anymore and I couldn¡¯t even pretend to slumber.


    I tossed the coverings aside and stretched. ¡°What did you even put in that pill? Or was it pure poison and I died and went to heaven? Wait, nno¡­ you wouldn¡¯t be there.¡±


    ¡°Just an improved human remedy, nothing of mine to react with your current biology.¡±


    ¡°What is that?!¡± I asked sharply, clearly seeing six more hunkered down bodies for myself. I knew getting up was a terrible idea - that always forces me to face my problems. Such a bad move on my part. I pinched bridge of the nose. I shook off the dread and spoke teasingly, ¡°Had a rave last night? All without me? Rude.¡±


    ¡°If only you hadn¡¯t passed out so early, lightweight,¡± monster returned the senseless banter and my expression grew touch more genuine.


    ¡°Not complaining, I have this awesome dealer,¡± I stretched again, this time much more ready to take on the day.


    Upon examination, I¡¯ve found Dentist¡¯s sweetheart. Would this temporary joy put a hamper on the hostility or enhance it? Chips could fall either way. Some of the faces were less familiar, but I didn¡¯t hang out with everyone. Perhaps their ages were off? Perhaps my own head was screwed on wrong.


    ¡°You sure it¡¯s them?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Contents of their brain are unmistakable. They will be the last ones so intact.¡±


    Apprehension gripped me like vice. That meant more than half were still lost¡­ and wouldn¡¯t be recognisably retrieved. Most importantly, I was still missing some very important faces.


    Fuck.


    Fuck!


    FUCK.


    Instead of lashing out I hummed, ¡°Mmhm, and how are we getting them downstairs unseen, namely to get to the room with clothes and insinuate they came through the door, entirely unlike monster vomit which they are?¡±


    ¡°Others are asleep,¡± man of million solutions replied nonplussed. That likely didn¡¯t mean what it normally did, but I didn¡¯t argue. I hated that my friends were treated like mere puppets, but I couldn¡¯t afford for this unsettled peace to violently explode. What would have been the alternative? For monster to spit out group of scared people and keep them all paralysed whilst we sorted this? It was simpler this way.


    I didn¡¯t delude myself, it wasn¡¯t for their sake ¨C was entirely for my own. I was a cruel hypocrite.

 20 V 3

    ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ bring the clothes here,¡± I eventually muttered, wanting to minimise the puppeteering. After finding and using the bathroom first, sauntered to gather the garments into my embrace. I roughly estimated that tomorrow when amnesiacs start to come in, everyone will be sure this is no simple rescue mission anyway. They¡¯re already suspicious. It was impossible not to be.


    Hefting the second armful of rags onto the table, I sat down. My weak heart still struggled to pump the remainder of cold liquid flowing through it.


    Resting, I examined the people again. Still had doubts about two of them, but monster was sure. Perhaps I should invite someone to get the ages correct? And what then, erase their memory? Alternative would be nuking entire room¡¯s recollection of seeing their friend far too old.


    Whatever. Sudden maturity and cure for blindness already raised eyebrows. I expected some hard questions eventually anyway.


    ¡°Could you make all of them younger? Especially these three,¡± I pointed and bodies shrank, faces lost sharp edges. Was it the short-crop hair? Shook my head. They¡¯ll sort it out later.


    ¡°Wake them up.¡±


    One after the other they opened their eyes or just breathed like living people at last.


    ¡°Hello! Wild night, huh? Please get dressed and meet your other friends downstairs,¡± I announced politely and fled the room. Did not have the stomach to look into the dazed expressions and then rebuke their much warranted questions. I¡¯ll let the others do the lying for me today. That ought to reveal what the first batch thought of the bizarre situation.


    In the living room, I found everyone still haphazardly passed out. Dentist was sat suspiciously close to the exit. Fire in the hearth still rustled, but there were no more logs in the ashes. It wasn¡¯t yellow either. The house was getting nippy, but clung on an acceptable temperature. I quietly muttered a thanks and threw the remainder of firewood inside.


    The room slowly rose as though in reaction to my banging around.


    Before all the frowning and glowering could turn into an avalanche and bury me under all those questions they brainstormed throughout the night, new people were noticed. Queries and sounds of joy got directed towards them and I sighed in relief. For a couple minutes more there shall be peace.


    Nobody mentioned the group appearing on entirely other side of the front door. Perhaps there was another one back there? I hadn¡¯t poked around enough nor did I care to.


    I stared elsewhere blankly. If I ignored them hard enough perhaps they¡¯ll return the courtesy. This usually won me precious extra seconds. People were so easily confusable.


    On that note, that¡¯s exactly what my ears picked up.


    ¡°I¡¯m telling you that¡¯s not my body!¡± a girl shouted shrilly.


    ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± I whispered still not looking up from the riveting dance of fire. Did I make someone too young? Shit.


    Monster growled barely audibly as though irritated. ¡°They do not recognise her,¡± he said so just I could hear. I hadn¡¯t asked for clarification. I was relieved to know it wasn¡¯t me who¡¯s losing it.


    Having gone through the gauntlet already, yesterday¡¯s revivees tried to calm the panicking girl. It wasn¡¯t going well.


    ¡°You don¡¯t even know who I am, either!¡± she shouted. All in all I was surprised our cabin got as little attention as it got. Ruckus must be audible from outside. Surely, neither of the grown men villagers invited had such pitched voices. Perhaps everyone else was still blissfully asleep. It was early.


    ¡°M¡­ Marina?¡± Citrine asked, terribly unsure. It was a solid guess, that haughty chick loved causing scenes as well. After all, tears of a beautiful woman opened many doors.


    I could see the source of distress because if that was indeed her - current outlook was a significant downgrade. For one, the curves were no more. She¡¯d been young, but even so, all of the body fat had miraculously gone to the right places, leaving limbs all dainty and gave overall delicate impression. Current form was toned and showed no ambition to ever sport a cleavage. The horror! Personally, I preferred it, but then again ¨C I wasn¡¯t particularly into women.


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    Girl sniffled, and fell onto sharp-featured woman¡¯s bosom, ¡°What¡¯s happening?¡±


    I felt several gazes tickle my scalp. Oh boy. I had no answers here either. Discarded all the responsibility and looked up at the monster. He looked back at me with dark brown eyes and I sighed.


    ¡°There appears to be technical difficulties. Give us a minute,¡± I grabbed monster¡¯s sleeve and pulled him outside. There was snow. Backpedalled and jumped into big boots dumped just indoors.


    ¡°Well?!¡± I shout-whispered at him after closing door. Darn it was cold! I would have gone into a room but that¡¯s where the cluster stood and deliberated. Climbing up to another storey was out of question too. Tucked away freezing fingers under arms and tried to look serious.


    ¡°She must have been a chimera,¡± monster spoke as though that explained anything. I kept my eyes popped wide open at him. Nothing.


    ¡°This,¡± I gestured and went on explaining, ¡°is my mystified, expectant face.¡±


    Demon was not impressed. I wouldn¡¯t be either, because my eyes started watering from the cold. He caught my animated hand and just held it as though in an oven. He was warm, is what I¡¯m saying. Suave jokester said, ¡°I thought that¡¯s your normal face.¡±


    ¡°I can see how you¡¯re confused because you keep making me have it! Now, what the fuck does that mean? Can it be fixed?¡±


    ¡°It already was but appears the result is undesirable. She wore the body of the twin she¡¯d absorbed in the process of formation.¡±


    ¡°Wha¡­ How¡­ is that possible?¡±


    ¡°That is fairly common in your world. Question is, what do you want to do about it? I cannot retrieve the other genes. Non-neural tissue is stored separately. I can¡¯t find it.¡±


    I huffed out white mist. What a multifaceted issue. If I was made out of two people, would I mind losing one half of myself? Yes. But¡­ ¡°I don¡¯t think that matters to her. Can you make her beautiful?¡±


    ¡°What is beautiful?¡±


    I hopped from leg to leg. It was far too dark and frosty to be having this deep a conversation. I put my other hand onto his scalding one. ¡°You look far too pretty to pretend this much obliviousness. Wait. Are you playing a dumb blonde?¡±


    ¡°No. A recollection of you picked out this look. I¡¯m glad you find it acceptable.¡±


    Awkward. ¡°Well, that essentially was me, so. Fuck. This is why I hate that you snoop.¡±


    ¡°I find this preferable. You are far more receptive now that I know you.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because you¡¯re pretending so I¡¯d like you. This isn¡¯t you. God knows how you really are, you¡¯re an actual alien! Do you even have personality, when you¡¯re not assuming human form?¡± Low blow, I knew as I said it.


    ¡°Personality¡­ if you mean it in context of nearly unpredictable secretion of chemicals humans have no control over, then no. I do not have it as such...¡±


    I covered his mouth. A human mouth. No. Mouth that was on his human-looking extremity - and spoke, ¡°Sorry, that was out of line. You do have one. And you don¡¯t need to force yourself to do it human way. In fact, I hate that. Like this I have no way to know who you really are.¡±


    Damn, his face was warm too. Monster¡¯s other hand pushed mine aside onto the cheek, and held it there as red-eyed monstrosity spoke, ¡°I¡¯m not pretending. I¡¯m adjusting. That¡¯s what I do. Consuming and analysing the other is how my kind gets to know someone. To know me, you need to go on and do the human thing. Ask. I¡¯m not holding anything back.¡±


    I lightly flexed my fingers on his scalding cheek, suddenly wanting to touch more of this unnaturally soft skin. Smooth devil, knows exactly how to pull my strings. I pulled back my hands and concentrated on the noise coming from the cabin instead. Concluding the lyrical interlude, I pointed thumb towards the door, ¡°What can you do about that?¡±


    ¡°I can do anything you want me to. Some things will not be instantaneous.¡±


    I bit nail of my thumb. This sauntering omnipotence wouldn¡¯t caution about delay if all was simple. So I knew for a fact it wasn¡¯t, at least not in his current state. I¡¯d rather he kept looking for Ruby and concentrated efforts on recovering him, and not cater to a snivelling princess.


    No, I didn¡¯t particularly like her much. Bitch was good at manipulating people, but there was no skill or effort involved - her looks did the heavy lifting. Perhaps that was why. Or maybe because she thought such simple tricks could work on me too. The gall.


    Decision made, I ducked indoors post haste. One sneaky bastard was promptly retreating, girls were huddled around the bawling actress. Tom was talking to whoever was listening in the middle of the room. General discontent hung thick in the room. They all stopped whatever they were doing to gawk.


    ¡°Right. So I believe you¡¯ve heard the gist of it. City¡¯s gone, you¡¯ve all sustained grave injuries, some worse than others. Mari, you¡¯ll have to bear with what you¡¯ve got¡­ at least for now.¡±


    ¡°But how is this possible!¡± Before I could even try to reply ¨C and I honestly should have known better ¨C drama queen went on, ¡°Everyone looks so much better now and I¡¯m ugly?!¡±


    There was a mirror next to her, so she knew exactly what she looked like, which by the way, was in no way ugly. Maybe plain, but I liked it. Far more than before. I rolled my eyes and grinned. ¡°Well, if you insist, we can¡­¡± I made an eye contact, waiting for hope ¨C no, triumph ¨C to blossom and then I¡¯ve finished, ¡°chuck you into a wood chipper to restore the state you were in right before this.¡±


    Waterworks resumed. The gang, most of whom were just teenagers, bristled up and moved to stand between us in reaction to my bad joke. I chuckled, knowing for a fact most disliked her loud displays too. I loved these guys.


    ¡°No? Well okay then.¡±


    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t talk to me like that if you knew how I really looked!¡±


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t I? You look better now,¡± I winked.


    ¡°What, you¡¯re a client or something?¡± She sniffled but became much calmer, as though compliment from a stranger meant something, because sure as hell roomful of girlfriends did not aid.


    ¡°Yes,¡± I agreed because everyone stared hungry for answers.


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand. If her body was completely mangled¡­ how? How are people still dying from infection?¡±


    I looked at Tom. Looks like he hasn¡¯t gone deep enough. I raised an eyebrow at him in question and the man just shrugged, glancing at monster. Ah, how thoughtful.


    ¡°Would you believe¡­ it¡¯s a miracle?¡± I asked of the stupefied roomful.


    ¡°What does that mean?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean city¡¯s gone? How?¡±


    Oh boy. Should I just rip off the band-aid and tell them the full truth?


    ¡°Monsters attacked the city,¡± Tom interjected, perhaps hoping to add to the credulity instead of provoking another showing. Nobody liked that. When new faces looked to one another dubiously, Citrine also nodded vigorously.


    ¡°Right. Well this seems all sorted out, then. Please don¡¯t leave the house, it¡¯s dangerous.¡±


    I turned to go but was stopped by an outcry, ¡°How do we know military isn¡¯t coming for us? If there¡¯s been a monster attack and we lived through that¡­¡±


    I started to get irritated but okay, there might be some logic to it. ¡°If we were with them, you¡¯d already be sitting on various shelves in little jars. This place is very far away. I don¡¯t even know if there¡¯s an equivalent of armed forces in this region. However, I do know there are jumpy armed villagers out there. Please, stay indoors,¡± I squinted pointedly at Dentist. He glared back with unveiled animosity. I sent him an air kiss and kid¡¯s eyes lost all threat.


    ¡°Just for a couple of days, then we¡¯ll do whatever you decide,¡± I promised.

 21 V 1

    Exhausted beyond belief although all I¡¯ve done was say few lines, I dove straight back into the bed. To my surprise, monster hadn¡¯t followed. Guarding the exit? Great idea, albeit there always were windows. Perhaps he stayed as a reminder to obey. Whatever, I was happy to receive some reprieve as well. Alone time was important. Or so I thought the first minute. My hyperactive mind wasted no time reminding me I was in a bad company.


    Someone rapped on the door weakly and then poked light head in. I noticed feathers making way for a cleavage.


    ¡°May I come in?¡± Citrine asked with a specific lilt to her tone.


    I raised an eyebrow, but was intrigued enough to say, ¡°Sure.¡±


    She did not miss my gaze and did not hesitate to bring it up, ¡°Thank ya f¡¯loanin¡¯ the gown. ¡®Tis very comfy.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± I set myself up for a you, if I can help it, but Citrine did not deliver. I could have sworn she would have before. There was nothing like a bad puns to relax tense situation, which was often the case with new clients. Was she nervous? Did not seem to be.


    ¡°Well,¡± girl sat down next to me on the bed and leaned to the side, ¡°I wanted t¡¯thank ya fo¡¯ savin¡¯ us.¡±


    ¡°Mm, you¡¯re very welcome.¡±


    Not reading any signs of a brush-off, Citrine leaned her pointy nose forward and kissed me. I had missed the casual shows of affection, so did not turn her down. When she¡¯d made moves for more, I caught her wrists lightly. Her eyes darted down and back up to my face.


    ¡°Ya¡­ did not lie ¡®bout preferring current Marina,¡± she stated and I smirked. ¡°Ya¡¯no, she has da biggest crush on least straight man in town, wunder wut he¡¯d say.¡±


    I snorted, for that was hilarious. ¡°No idea, but I¡¯d expect nothing less from such an airhead.¡±


    ¡°Hey, she not so bad!¡± angry hooker chastised, but then remembered her goal and sweetened the tone again, ¡°Should I invite sum¡¯one else? Dentist?¡±


    I ruffled the feathers under my fingers and wondered if this was why demon hadn¡¯t deigned to come up. Was he hoping I¡¯d do this? Would it be one and the same to him, since all of them were him anyway? Citrine tried to move away and I remembered her question.


    ¡°Sure ¨C as long as you think bludgeoning me a little would get you those answers,¡± I winked at her, although I was rather attached to my last pair of teeth. It was unlikely any creature would be restoring anything on my person again.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Citrine asked with veritable puzzlement and then tried to conceal it with come offhand comment, like oh, he¡¯s not too bad, but it was too late. It was clear she did not remember the guy all that well. I pulled the ball of mortification into an embrace. That was a little too forward for a perceived stranger, but I barely cared. She did not seem overly tense, but such was the line of work. Girl¡¯s eyes darted about as if spotting things to pocket. There was a coin by the bedside. It was identical to previous one. I picked it up and found myself smiling.


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    ¡°This isn¡¯t your room, is it?¡± she asked eventually, slowly easing back into the agenda of figuring this shit out.


    ¡°No. I¡¯m here for exactly as long as you are,¡± I revealed. Before shrewd streetwalker inquired more about our bizarre circumstances, I ran my own dark schemes, ¡°How are you doing?¡±


    Woman¡¯s gaze snapped to mine as though nobody has ever asked that of her. ¡°I¡¯m good. We¡¯re good. We¡¯re¡­ worried.¡±


    I interceded before that line of thought could transform into a question, ¡°I know it¡¯s hard to believe somebody you don¡¯t know, but it¡¯s all going to be okay.¡± It was so easy to lie. So hard to believe.


    We exchanged several more meaningless lines, but before I could get to questioning what plans they have drafted up in the night, girl was snoring lightly. Whatever those have been, they were thoroughly deliberated. Knowing how painfully limited these experiences are going to be going forward, I joined the dozing, decidedly ripping the stolen moment out of the past.


    Wasn¡¯t able to sleep. Was almost thankful when hours later I heard voices coming from the outside. Extradited myself from under the still form and slunk towards the window. Away among the evergreens, men with weapons stood and argued. Dare I say, reluctant to come closer?


    Chair creaked.


    ¡°What do they want?¡± I asked without looking. ¡°Besides snooping.¡±


    ¡°Fuel and explosives that I¡¯ve promised in exchange for an acceptable lodging,¡± monster quietly rumbled. He didn¡¯t need to speak loud to be heard.


    ¡°Ah,¡± I exclaimed, surprised that his social skills weren¡¯t limited to chilling warnings. ¡°And how are we getting those?¡±


    ¡°I can produce substances of equal make-up.¡±


    I shrugged, not bothering to dwell on the loaded prattle. ¡°Shall we get going, then?¡± I¡¯d hate for the committee to barge in and find walls crawling with all these uninvited guests.


    Darting straight out the door in yesterday¡¯s boots, I hadn¡¯t even noticed how monster produced a shopping bag full of sand. Or sugar. Flour? The locals grabbed for their weapons, but seeing as it was just us two, guns remained pointed away. Monster strode ahead anyway, leaving me staring at a bag over his shoulder. He carried it rigidly, unnaturally - as though for the first time. It showed. Perhaps not so much from up front, because conversation ensued and there were no abnormal notes.


    One of the group stared at me as though urging to make a verbal mistake, but I knew better. Monster had cautioned someone could decipher words in our speech so I just smiled invitingly until he looked away.


    I heard old lady¡¯s name mentioned and poked monster for a translation. ¡°They¡¯re saying the woman would like to visit and feed you again, but is not feeling well. They¡¯d like to come in instead. I said no.¡±


    I butchered my way through handful of picked-up words that ought to have been a thanks towards the generous matron.


    ¡°That was fairly good,¡± monster praised, and the locals seemed to have gotten animated and jolly, too.


    I shrugged it off cheekily, ¡°Sucked off a fair amount of foreigners. Something clearly rubbed off on me and wasn¡¯t even white.¡±


    Then, surprise to everybody - the supposed spy discarded his presumed advantage to say something insipid about love, fast learning and language. I nodded appreciatively ¨C if there was a reason to commit an act of treason, getting dick wet was it. A point of view most advantageous to me.


    I wasn¡¯t one to turn down a generous offer to get behind enemy lines and into good graces of powers that be, so gasped out with a grin, ¡°Oh my dear sir, are you offering to teach me?¡±


    His wide-eyed buddies elbowed the bilingual idiot whilst glancing over to the statuesque sojourner with mystery powder in his pockets. Monster radiated indifference. Not that any of this was his call anyway.


    Me and the blockhead stumbled through another set of barely legible phrases until gunshots put an end to the lively conversation. The curious villagers turned grim and gripped their weapons firmly as though expecting to die. After shouts in the distance, the eyes turned steely as they looked at us with hostility. Vail of agony which I recognised told me why. Somebody snuck out. I cursed.


    Snow crunched from all over the place as if everybody and their mom got into action. There were a lot of barrels flailing around.


    Through the bare trunks of pines and bushy wintery shrubs, a boy was dragged back to the house by tracking the footprints. I didn¡¯t dare act in fear of making it worse, just gripped monster¡¯s leather jacket and watched. Villagers barged into our lodging and there were more screams from inside. Gunshots still echoed from afar.


    I turned to the barrels aimed at us and monster did not let me through. I stammered out words I¡¯ve asked about before just for this occasion. Kids, please, stop. Got shouted at. Shouted back harder.


    The parentless gang got thrown out into the front yard. Luckily, the mountain town was not trigger-happy. Nobody else got shot. Even Dentist got apprehended and dragged back here, just with a couple of bruises. I wanted to go and add to them. Perhaps a little later. Entire village was glaring and shouting unhappily.

 21 V 2

    ¡°Tell them we¡¯re human smugglers. Say one of the locals let rest of us come in for a fee,¡± I instructed the brown-eyed monster. He relayed the words to the frazzled crowd. Clearly, this was no invasive force. Most of them were severely underdressed teenagers or younger. They were herded back inside to avoid freezing. An old man fussed in a shed with black rocks that could have been coal and passed bucketful along to other old people. Strange.


    I tried to worry over the safety of my friends, but seeping concern for young strangers killed that notion in its crib.


    ¡°Do they got any kids in here?¡± I asked in a whisper. Sure, it wasn¡¯t a situation to add pint-sized chaos into the fray, but even so, all the faces around were marred with more than just concern. They were old. Youngest specimen in my line of sight must have easily been forty.


    ¡°No,¡± monster revealed.


    ¡°Why?¡± I wondered, but answer was fairly obvious, especially taking battle-preparedness of the townsfolk into consideration. ¡°Are we in danger?¡±


    ¡°No. I¡¯ll kill it,¡± monster dismissed the minor annoyance.


    ¡°Can you, really?¡± I hoped I implied the current suboptimal health of his.


    ¡°Yes,¡± he hissed in what I assumed to be insistent manner.


    ¡°Cool, cool... You sure?¡±


    Hiss repeated without discernable words. I pressed on with my fledgling idea, ¡°Cool. Can you ask them if they¡¯d be willing to take in handful of new folk if their resident menace died on your hands under some mysterious circumstance?¡±


    Brown eyes bore into me as his booming ¨C but thankfully still human - voice carried over to the hovering crowd. Most of the locals were more baffled to receive the visitors rather than question it. The cluster of elders I assumed to be in charge hadn¡¯t forgotten the main issue at hand, if those wary glares was anything to judge by.


    Monster and the people in the crowd conversed. I heard disbelief, jeering, anger. I asked for words and shouted back looking at that specific infuriated face. ¡°Make a promise, then!¡±


    There was long-ass rebuke but I assumed he agreed with all these fine people to witness. It was hard to weasel out of such a useful deal. They probably would have let us stay regardless, if current mood was anything to go by, but insurances were handy. Even then, nothing stopped the rat bastard from disregarding any deal made previously. Changing the rules during the play was classic move from those in power.


    The snoopy committee still shuffled nearby. They were cautious to begin with, and perhaps the heavy burden now resting over their shoulders inspired additional apprehension. Bilingual guy sidled closer and asked mutedly, ¡°Who are you people?¡±


    ¡°Monster hunters!¡± I proclaimed merrily. Blank stares met me and I deliberated with my devilish companion. I repeated just as happily in their tongue, ¡°Human-trafficking monster hunters!¡±


    ¡°Stop them,¡± monster muttered being unnaturally still. Alarmed, I looked around. What horror was I to stop that this omnipotent creature was powerless against? Something very small and human. I scanned the people and saw it. They were feeding the new mouths.


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    It would have been laughable, creature like that fretting over mere bread, but I saw him concentrate to the brink of discarding the human fa?ade.


    ¡°Citrine!¡± I called for backup, running towards the house. Most have still been out on the front lawn, just now bundled up in donated fur coats. ¡°The food!¡±


    Some stopped whatever they were doing due to alarm in my voice, several rushed to stuff their bounty into maws out of fear of losing the precious bite. I saw Dentist eat just to spite me. I really wanted to whack him, but he would have kicked my ass. Instead, I caught his ear hissed, ¡°Spit it out right now or I¡¯ll tell Dancer what you¡¯ve been doing in her room.¡±


    It was more effective than the punch. Grudgingly, he spat out the chewed up bits. I smacked back of his head anyway.


    ¡°Nobody eat. You¡¯ll get sick!¡± I announced loudly. Disgruntled grannies were all furiously frowning behind me. I mimicked stomach pain by curling up onto myself. Citrine and Tom probably didn¡¯t understand but were trying to convince the gang anyway.


    A young child fell forward listlessly. The old people sprung into action to resuscitate her. I jumped from leg to leg and turned to the bilingual guy who followed right behind me. ¡°Food. Tell them to remove food,¡± I gestured vomiting and he reluctantly went on to chat with the concerned locals. Those had eventually ¨C skilfully - forced something out as though the bite was just lodged in the throat.


    Still unconscious form eliminated and deposited remainder of stomach contents on the snow without any visible spasms, then just woke up as if nothing had happened. Grannies were happy for a minute then the frantic questions came in.


    Monster has unfrozen by then and elaborated in some way or another. I had no bright nuggets of wisdom to add, just felt heavily drained, cold and wanted to nap. My feet were wet and I didn¡¯t feel them anymore. I twined around demon¡¯s arm and leaned heavily. My cheek felt warm. He was warm.


    Befuddled locals wanted to keep talking and feeding the famished orphans; those were equally starved for such warm attention. I saw no way to stuff this jack back into box. City kids never saw this much space and snow so soft. The weather wasn¡¯t least bit daunting with all that fur either. I eventually unpeeled myself away from the lifeline and caught Citrine and Tom. ¡°I know that¡¯s the opposite of what we normally do, but don¡¯t let them go off alone. We don¡¯t know this place. And no food. I need to go get warm,¡± I said eyeing the assigned cabin.


    ¡°Yeh¡­ Aft¡¯ today everyone should be aware that wusn¡¯t joke. Is a miracle nobody got killed. Fuckin¡¯ Denti and his stupid plans,¡± Citrine grumbled.


    Tom just stared and I gaped back at him tiredly. ¡°What?¡± I snapped eventually but he just shook his head.


    I curled up by the roaring fireplace and hoped to defrost my bones by some time tomorrow. I felt waft of something akin to leather but much much fresher. I unashamedly slunk backwards into his arms to be warm on both sides.


    I was wide awake, thinking of all the things that went wrong and that which almost happened. Perhaps sensing my keen agitation, he whispered just above my ear, ¡°I would have taken care of it.¡±


    ¡°Good to have a solid plan B! Sadly, razing another settlement to the ground will not be necessary¡­ by some unknown feats of magic¡­¡± Boy was this lucky! Insanely so. Did my new body carry some fortune in its veins at long last?


    ¡°It was no magic. You did very well. And I wasn¡¯t going to raze it,¡± demon sounded dismissive. ¡°I¡¯ve already spread throughout this land. There¡¯s little I can¡¯t do.¡±


    ¡°Well, less spreading and more of you know what.¡±


    ¡°The two are not mutually exclusive. I can move and think at the same time, too.¡±


    I tapped beautiful man¡¯s thigh, ¡°Right¡­ Well, I take it back anyway. No rush. Seems like we are welcome to stick around for a while¡­ I¡¯d rather you do it right than fast.¡± Regardless, I was on pins and needles and also on the edge of seat. ¡°How long do you think it¡¯ll take?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll have the rest ready tomorrow. Then there¡¯s just sifting through the countless fragments in search of something familiar to recovered group.¡±


    Oh. ¡°So¡­ It¡¯s tomorrow or nothing?¡±


    ¡°Not necessarily,¡± he said diplomatically but that could only have meant the worst.


    Damn. Fuck! The suspense¡­ I won¡¯t be able to sleep tonight. What if he wasn¡¯t there, even as gutted as those are going to be? What then? I¡¯ll have no tether to this plane of existence yet again. Hope was such a terrible thing.


    I chewed on my lip and grasped for a distraction to hyperfixate on. One was already conveniently in my hands.


    ¡°Did you want for me and Citrine to have sex?¡± I asked.


    Demon spent too long a while pondering a yes or no inquiry until eventually settling on, ¡°Rephrase your question.¡±


    I rolled my eyes but did as told, ¡°Were you intending to have sex with me through her?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± there was no hesitation this time and that left me with additional questions.


    ¡°But you did want us to fuck,¡± I prodded.


    ¡°I was sceptical of that occurring, but yes, I¡¯d rather you did it with a part of me. No, I wouldn¡¯t have participated or she would have known it.¡±


    ¡°But you¡¯re already up in their heads?¡±


    ¡°Skimming every third stray thought the mouths radiate is different to giving it my full attention or linking sensations.¡±


    ¡°So that¡¯s¡­ like eating, when you want it to be.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    I frowned at the discordant contrast to what he¡¯d said before. ¡°And why wouldn¡¯t you do it?¡±


    ¡°Because I want to feel you. Even more so now than before,¡± his palm lightly brushed my face and I felt something distinctly inhuman cling to the skin for a split second. Unseen tendrils battered against the flimsy skin barrier like a slow soldier at the closed gates.

 21 V 3

    The light caress woke up my skin. It felt supremely nice. Not nearly as great as the time when he tickled the nerves directly, but still outstanding in a simple way. When even was the last time I was touched so tenderly? That¡¯s what it was. I was simply starved. More importantly, he probably knew that. I caught his warm paw to stop it from brushing the cheek.


    ¡°Are you doing this because you want to or because you think I need this?¡± If the asshole was about to drop that bullshit about owning a pet, I would¡­ do what, exactly? Lives of my friends hung in those claws. Everything did.


    ¡°Why can¡¯t it be both?¡± he said, surprising me. I sputtered, having expected just one or the other. Mostly the other.


    ¡°That¡¯s because¡­ to begin with, you¡¯re not interested in pleasure. And you also definitely refused that time¡­¡±


    ¡°I want you in ways you cannot appreciate, but that doesn¡¯t make it any less valid.¡±


    He¡­ wasn¡¯t wrong? Traitorous happiness of being wanted, really wanted, bloomed in my chest. I quelled it ruthlessly. For once the demon was correct ¨C emotions were a needless distraction. I would not fall for nice words ever again. I wasn¡¯t a dumb fourteen year old anymore, for fuck¡¯s sake.


    ¡°So¡­ you do just want to eat me,¡± I concluded tiredly but with a level-headed acceptance. He was a monster, what else is he going to do?


    ¡°I want you to live long past your human due date. To become great, rival me.¡±


    I nodded along, ¡°Yes, that sounds absolutely ghastly and objectionable. And why would I do that, also what¡¯s that got to do with fucking?¡±


    ¡°Our vague equivalent of it is merging the organisms into single, superior being. Consuming you, as puny as you are now, would be waste. You¡¯d disappear among my vastness.¡±


    ¡°So the endgame always was me getting shredded to bits, huh?¡± I huffed out. I mean, I have always known but confirmation was still disheartening, especially after those delightful flutters. Regardless of sweet demonic connotation, in human terms I was still to become fish food. Well, not anymore though. ¡°And now that it¡¯s impossible, you what? Want to play pretend and do it human way?¡±


    ¡°That was never a decided outcome. It cannot be forced, for one. Mere recollections of you caused a lot of internal damage without even meaning to. I just hoped to keep you safe long enough for you to decide otherwise. And if not, coexistence would be acceptable. I¡¯m unsure anything else would have worked anyway. It¡¯s hard to maintain the body as it is already.¡±


    ¡°Why not downsize?¡±


    ¡°Sure. You lob off your least favourite side of the head.¡±


    ¡°Okay, fair.¡± I relaxed back into the embrace to reflect on all this new information. Wasn¡¯t entirely mollified, but not quietly raging either. It was comforting to know I wasn¡¯t herded towards a dead-end. An illusion of choice felt great on my fingertips. ¡°You¡¯ve mouths though and they inhabit you just fine.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not the same at all. They¡¯re body parts, subject to control. Entirely unlike parallel existence within structure which issues the commands.¡±


    ¡°Right. So. Since all of that is off the table, you¡­ What? Will be chilling out here for the remainder of my meagre lifespan?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± he hissed out but it felt angry. That cheered me right up.


    ¡°I love to foil your grandiose plans,¡± I tapped on his cheek blindly and might have hit an eye, too. He didn¡¯t mind.


    He wondered gruffly, ¡°Was it really your idea? You were quite attached to your vessel. Now you¡¯re no longer even human, regardless of it appearing so to rest of your kind. Your body might just rapidly deteriorate on purpose because its sole purpose was to incapacitate me. It might also happen simply due to unbalanced chemistry.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± I stared into the fire ahead. If eating one another equalled a fulfilling relationship over in hell, perhaps I wildly misjudged and mislabelled whatever was going on between them monsters. It was no lost child lashing out. I really knew very little of the world. Viewing it through my cracked up lens just made it more skewed. ¡°I don¡¯t remember that bit exactly¡­ but I was ready to die. Probably still am. I¡­ barely ever had a reason to hold on. It¡¯s fine. I don¡¯t mind.¡± As for the monster, and I really flattered myself by even thinking this, he¡¯d be fine too. I was but a pet ant to that sprawling existence.


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    ¡°I do.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s very¡­ selfish of you,¡± I decided.


    ¡°You don¡¯t want to die either,¡± he announced with conviction and I scoffed at the preposterous notion. But demon did have imprints of me to play with. And I really hated to see my monstrous cousin die. He actually didn¡¯t want to go either. Implored me to live with the final conscious breath. There really has to be more to life than¡­ just this.


    ¡°If you do start to break down I will do something about it,¡± monster promised in a whisper.


    ¡°Can you?¡± Should he?


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Anything I could try now would cause irreparable harm.¡±


    I didn¡¯t know which outcome I preferred. ¡°And if I live for a very long time and die of natural causes?¡±


    ¡°Natural causes are merely inability to repair your tissue,¡± monster couldn¡¯t have sounded any more condescending.


    ¡°Is that an admission of future guilt?¡± I wondered. ¡°You know, a lot of people aspire to die a wrinkled raisin. Not me personally, because it¡¯s plenty tedious already, but I hear it¡¯s very human and all that.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re no longer human. But you are correct. You might have excessive regenerative abilities to inhibit all those corrosive agents in your flesh. It might take a long time.¡±


    ¡°So it¡¯s a coin toss. Just as it should be.¡± Nothing about this was as it should be, let¡¯s face it. Not being on an urgently ticking clock was still somehow a relief.


    ¡°It all depends on well-wishes of my deceased progeny and its abilities,¡± he said with undertones of growl. He was sceptical. I was satisfied, because regardless of all circumstances and reasons the snail demon has helped me. I was still here.


    ¡°What are you gonna do to it? Can you repair and just let it go? It¡¯s not like you have a need for the excess meat.¡±


    ¡°I will not repair it. It will just try something again. I¡¯ve began dissolving its memory, splitting to small parts and releasing.¡±


    ¡°What about its mouths? The sister¡­ was nice.¡±


    ¡°It tried eating you.¡±


    ¡°Oh, as if you hadn¡¯t. A common mistake.¡±


    ¡°I had not.¡±


    ¡°Right, right. Your fat ass is on a diet.¡±


    ¡°Precisely.¡±


    ¡°So?¡± I didn¡¯t let up.


    ¡°Connection to mouths was cut during the clash. I don¡¯t know whether on purpose. It could be I damaged the organs maintaining it. One way or the other, the mouth you refer to as sister will no longer be able to find any other form. It¡¯s just a low rung creature now. I did want to dissect it for the leftovers of your flesh. We will find it.¡±


    ¡°Uh. Let her keep them. Unless you could¡­¡± I fell silent midway my suggestion. What if she didn¡¯t want to be able to transform back into human? It didn¡¯t appear overly so. The former woman was content to be a danger grass most of her days. ¡°Never mind.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll adhere to your wishes,¡± he suggested amicably but unconvincingly.


    I laughed out loud, ¡°Clearly not. You literally dismiss my plans to die.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps I¡¯ll listen when they¡¯re sincere.¡±


    ¡°Hey, some of the time I was sincere.¡±


    ¡°Given a choice between lashing out and simply disappearing, which is preferable?¡± monster cleverly proposed the options. I knew that was the despair. Powerlessness. States of being which will become distant concepts if I was to believe the hulking demon and stuck around him. He went on, ¡°Everybody dies, but those living desire to remain so. Each cell of your body screams for you not to end them.¡±


    ¡°Whose side are you even on? I thought you like me for my amazing personality, not the flirty mitochondria.¡± Power house of something or another and that¡¯s all I remembered from kids¡¯ homework.


    ¡°They kept you alive long enough for me to find you, so I owe them a lot.¡±


    I elbowed him in response but the oaf did not react even out of politeness. He had no manners. I settled back to watch coals disappearing some more. I almost felt unthawed if not for the general chill in the bones. Thoughts threatened to drown me again.


    So monsters fucked by consuming one another. Weird, but perhaps it made sense in some distant place.


    ¡°So. Hey. When I came onto you that time in the woods you thought I wanted to get eaten?¡±


    ¡°You did jump right into my maw.¡±


    ¡°Well, isn¡¯t all of this is a maw, technically?¡± I gesticulated up and down in his general direction.


    ¡°Technically that¡¯s an arm,¡± monster said overly seriously and I couldn¡¯t judge whether that was meant as a joke.


    When in doubt, turn it into one. ¡°So¡­ does that mean I¡¯ll be having a lot of handjobs in my future? That¡¯s pretty bleak prospective.¡±


    ¡°Only if you insist on using your own hands,¡± monster¡¯s lips pressed to my temple to whisper as if he¡¯d been making denizens of this plane swoon daily for twenty thousand years straight. I felt my temperature rise and the cheeks burn. I was far too old to fall for this.


    But then again, I was far too old to have any reservations either. This was ¨C would be ¨C purely physical interaction. I¡¯ve had tons of those. I didn¡¯t need to like the guy. Most of the times I loathed the people who paid me for this. And I didn¡¯t even feel all that negatively about him anymore.


    I swirled around to join our lips¡­ my lips and his imitational flabs of such? It felt just how I hoped and wanted it to be - intimate and reciprocated. He swirled his tongue around in time with mine, pressed in as close as our human jaws permitted. That was by far most jarring thing in this interaction. I did not expect to be kissing a human. I wanted to insist he quit pretending but it felt too nice to stop and get right back into bickering.


    His eyes watched me as we tasted each other and I wondered what was going on behind them and way in another dimension. He was obviously analysing this in some monstrous way. Although he said taste was superfluous and beneath him, so probably not. To him this exchange of fluids was¡­ what, exactly? A little snack before a big eat?


    He showed no discernable sign of any sort of hunger either. Sure, there was enthusiasm, but that was easy enough to fake. Whilst my fingers dug into the supposedly-leather jacket, his just lain on my back taut. He was embracing me but not constricting in any way. It was another thing I did not anticipate of this mighty ruler of high seas. He was being passive, just letting it happen. Did he lie? Flaring anger, along with his docility prompted me to grab him by the throat and see just how pliant he¡¯s really going to be. Squeezing, I shoved him downwards with intention to leave some brain on the floor. Alas, there was neither ¨C not good ole reliable concrete nor the brains. Darn plush carpets.


    Somebody coughed nearby and I got distinct feeling it wasn¡¯t for the first time. Neither I nor demon looked away. So indifferent. What was I even expecting to accomplish here? He¡¯s fucking immortal. Humbled, I let go of the soft throat which didn¡¯t even bother to resume pulling oxygen in to show off inborn superiority.


    ¡°If you¡¯re about done eating each other¡¯s faces, there¡¯s this old guy who keeps¡­¡±


    ¡°Tell him,¡± monster went on in the foreign language and Dentist struggled to keep all of it in, if the panicked eyes were of any indication. Red-eyed creature repeated it again, slower. Disgruntled child scampered off whilst muttering bits of the mysterious speech. I didn¡¯t care enough to ask. Other people were handling it and they were all immensely competent.


    I turned away to be alone with the fire and my thoughts. There were scrapings under my fingernails. He would just let me do it. Indifference or indulgence, but I could really hurt him. This insignificant piece of him. It scared me greatly. I didn¡¯t want to be like them. But that was the only thing I knew. Before long, those same nails were resting on my face, trying to remove the images one way or the other.


    Before turning into a complete psycho in front of the people I tried to appear trustworthy and reliable to, I stood up and trudged upstairs. I didn¡¯t ask nor looked to check but I knew shadow trailed after me. Shadows were reliable like that.

 21 V 4

    When the door clicked shut soundlessly, I wasted no time dawdling. Still not even bothering to turn, yanked my pants down just below the butt and rested my palms on a table.


    ¡°I need you to fuck me,¡± then decided to clarify for the fair maidens in the room. ¡°Stick a dick or whatever you¡¯ve got in place of it up my ass as hard as you like. Don¡¯t be human about it.¡±


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    The story in full:


    https://www.royalroad.com/amazon/B0D5WL39BL</a>  (chapters 1 R - 12 BC)


    https://www.royalroad.com/amazon/B0CYT3Q7H7</a>  (chapters 13 R - 25 R)

 22 V 1

    I hunched in due to the chill on my cheek and my hands grasped normal fabric. Didn¡¯t even notice having been unravelled, mild discomfort was what brought it to my attention. I lamented the loss of perfect ambient warmth.


    I saw two shiny specs facing me from the other side of the room. I was used to being discarded after use, and normally that was preferable. However, this time I felt like crawling back onto his lap. It was odd to have all this distance after spending hours intertwined.


    It was dark outside the window but still loud outside, which told me it wasn¡¯t all that late yet. The house itself stood eerily still. Completely unlike it was housing ten other people.


    I sat up, licking dry lips with sandpaper. Was delighted to find glowing pot by the bedside again. I reached for it eagerly and gulped down. Felt like haven¡¯t had a drink for days, which was not far off. Splitting headache only seconded the notion. Whilst food could be optional, I should take care to ingest water regularly. It was dead of winter for fuck¡¯s sake. There was no fathomable reason to go thirsting.


    Nor apparently, hunger. Familiar shapes sat on the bedside surface. I devoured the stuffed the bun right after setting down the rejuvenating light source.


    Also, there was a yet another coin on the ledge. Significance of it stung me something bitter. Shouldn¡¯t I be the one paying monster anyway? Was my dumb idea and the request.


    I didn¡¯t touch the newest denomination. The kids will pocket this one and put to good use. Military men in the lab seemed extremely thrilled by the sight of shiny metal, which revealed it was indeed valuable. How all those smart people overlooked I could barely produce urine at the time was beyond me.


    Finished chewing, licked my revived lips and tried again, ¡°Where¡¯s everybody?¡±


    ¡°Asleep.¡±


    I picked up the other meat bun and saw it missing a chunk. Stared at it dumbly. Surely monster wasn¡¯t the one to sample local delicacies. Sluggish mind barely bothered to turn the cogs, but it got there eventually. Of course these kids wouldn¡¯t pass by a chance to eat.


    ¡°They¡¯re¡­ okay?¡±


    ¡°Yes. One will be aware upon waking unless you want something done about it.¡±


    I sighed so deeply my lungs might as well be bottomless. Being a puppet master with power to cause brain damage was not something I aspire to be. ¡°This is fine for now,¡± I gritted out. Was it? Even keeping them asleep was enforcing my will upon my former friends. It wasn¡¯t for their sake. I just didn¡¯t want to deal with the fall out.


    Rubbed my temples and snapped my head up, remembering rest of the issues which were to arrive with dawn. There was whole night still, but to me it felt like long enough time has passed. Intensive staring into dark corners did indeed reveal shadows which shouldn¡¯t yet be.


    I grabbed mostly empty jug and rushed to the nearest torpid figure. A woman. In fact, the same one Ruby had rescued from being taken along with me. I perked up to ask, but my blossoming good spirits were rudely crushed. ¡°She is empty,¡± demon stated absolutely matter-of-factly.


    I plopped backwards on my ass, one arm going around the knees and the other pulling the hair away from the face. This was no surprise - I already knew they¡¯d be severely damaged. I guess I didn¡¯t believe it. Still hoped. However, the way demon said it made me realise there was nothing of the person left. If woken, this shell wouldn¡¯t be same girl desperately afraid of fire. Girl who wouldn¡¯t smoke no matter how fashionable it was because she was afraid of matches and ember. She¡¯d often cough because she¡¯d refuse to get close to heating if we used flame. This form, who even was this? Just some stranger who¡¯d never tried paying us for odd cup of tea or boiling water. Potentially happy, unrelated individual. I lamented loss of a friend. Regardless of this looking like her, it was not.


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    This was so unfair.


    What was the point of him getting shot, then? And me - taken? What if I remained paralysed with fear whilst her and some other no-longer-restorable person would have died somewhere far away instead? The rest wouldn¡¯t have been hurt. City wouldn¡¯t have been wiped. Small choice which ruined so many lives.


    I moved lantern to see who else would be completely lost to time, dreading to see an empty red head. Each new face caused pang of grief, but none were him. Here my feelings turned into pure horror. Not even a scrap would be recovered? It wouldn¡¯t matter if he didn¡¯t remember me, I did. And I still owed him so much.


    ¡°Is this all?¡± my voice cracked upon the demand.


    ¡°No. By the morning there will be four others.¡±


    ¡°If you already have them and they¡¯ll have zero recollections, what¡¯s the delay?¡±


    ¡°I still need to make sure the creations know speech and have understanding of common interactions.¡±


    Rubbed my face and felt like going back to sleep.


    ¡°Moreover, most notable experiences aren¡¯t entirely lost due to their repeat prevalence. Families. Sentimental items. Violence. Pain. Fears. I need your guidance incorporating fragments of those. We can work on emulating whatever personalities you want them to have as well.¡±


    ¡°Ufff¡­¡± I breathed out everything I had but the problems didn¡¯t run out along with the air. This was not any better. Having no concrete memory besides some massive trauma? Did I really want the girl to have irrational fear of stove without context? Wouldn¡¯t clean slate be better?


    Who was I to decide any of this?


    I tossed around in bed some more, pondering about propriety of all this. Another terrifying thought which was persistently knocking onto forefront of my cognition was that I didn¡¯t know her name. No matter how hard I tried to recall, or imagine how I must have called all those times before, nothing came up. I knew that I knew, but beneath that conviction was an empty space. What other things I thought I remember just fine for that to be wrong?


    Citrine is going on about her day assuming everything¡¯s in order too. And yet she¡¯s far less combative and dare I say, reliable now. Before, harsh-featured teenager would have stood by Dentist¡¯s side with shoulders squared ready to fend off trouble quite physically.


    I was just like them. Copy with erroneous contents. A mere recreation - twice over.


    Was this why Great Nervous System Slumbering In The Depths lost his shit when snail barfed me up? Without wanting to, I understood some of it now. Be it a pet, toy or spectacle of a person, I did die there. Got mangled and corrupted.


    ¡°Was this part of your plan? Showing me how defective the copies are.¡±


    ¡°Simply telling you would have sufficed,¡± bottomless pit of patience pointed out and was of course correct. Even I started noticing flaws inside of myself. This entire puppetry was unnecessary, unless as a leverage.


    I¡¯m all that¡¯s left. He could be genuinely trying to make amends, please me. After all, happy people don¡¯t go razing everything in line of sight. And it was but a minor gesture of favour from one such as him.


    Was it minor though? Little showed on this red-eyed appendage, so I couldn¡¯t really judge about the stress this exercise could be causing, but the task was taking him days. Absurdly short amount of time to revive someone in my opinion, but nobody asked me. Everybody already knew it would be even quicker had godlike being not been injured.


    Anyway. None of this was bringing me any closer to solving my dilemmas. This was far too big for my small frame. I¡¯ll definitely need help.


    ¡°Please wake Citrine and Tom,¡± I asked and hoisted myself up to go downstairs and have a difficult introductory conversation, then another in-depth one about fates of the hunched husks. Perhaps throw more coal into the pit somewhere along the way. It was chilly.


    Out in the common room everybody lay haphazardly strewn across the furniture and floors. Citrine was shaking somebody to awaken, but that was beyond her capabilities. Tom still sat where he¡¯s been passed out and observed the mayhem quietly. Having sight hadn¡¯t changed this man much.


    ¡°They¡¯re okay,¡± I said lightly gripping panicking girl¡¯s shoulder.


    ¡°But¡­ No! Dancy screamed s¡¯thing ¡®bout monsters, then errybody became like this! Should we¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s all fine,¡± I assured, squeezing her clammy hand in both of mine. ¡°I¡¯ll explain everything. This time for reals. Let¡¯s go and sit down.¡± I pulled her up and stunned woman followed wordlessly. I saw my former buddies exchange loaded glances. They were both scared shitless and ready to choke me out at any sign of danger. I turned away and fussed with smouldering coals until they covered new ones.


    ¡°Wha¡¯s going on?¡± Citrine¡¯s patience frayed first.


    ¡°You two are already aware that the blondey isn¡¯t all human. The thing is, he¡¯s completely something else.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s a monster?!¡± Citrine mouthed wide-eyed. Whether it was disbelief, fear or both I couldn¡¯t be sure.


    I shrugged and nodded as if this was an everyday occurrence. No biggie. Just a friendly neighbourhood¡¯s bogeyman. Keep these people focused, ¡°What he is is largely unimportant. He¡¯s helping.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Tom¡¯s words were sharp cut and to the point.


    Yeah, let¡¯s not get into the conversation where all of this was monster¡¯s fault. ¡°Because I asked,¡± I answered as vaguely as I could, but that unsurprisingly to all prompted another why. ¡°I¡¯m still hoping to meet Ruby,¡± I explained plainly.


    ¡°Where is he? Is he still coming?¡± They both asked simultaneously. The important questions answers to which I didn¡¯t have. Or did I? There won¡¯t be a better time to face reality. I rubbed my face and nursed sudden urge to stick my head into the fire.


    ¡°Chances are low, and even if that happens he¡¯ll probably be injured beyond recognition.¡±


    ¡°These bodies are brand new, are they not?¡± Tom¡¯s unspoken disbelief was tangible like the ground on which I sat. Quiet man figured out bits and pieces for himself and was attempting to catch me in a lie. If only his suspicions were correct, things would be easier.


    I tapped finger to my temple, ¡°In here. Turns out, restoring body is simple. Not so much when there¡¯s nothing left to work with.¡± I let that sink in until their faces started betraying forming questions. I cut that off at the root, ¡°That¡¯s where your help is necessary. There are new people, but their heads are far too vacant¡­ I don¡¯t know what to do.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    I went on explaining the conundrum. They sort of got it, but I still saw aplenty disbelief on the shadowy faces. Or was it the fool¡¯s hope? They wanted their friends back, and that seemed to be far too attainable. My incomprehensible babble was in the way. I pondered, but there was nothing else to say besides inviting them upstairs.

 22 V 2

    Our trio relocated to the room with awaiting shells and one disinterested overlord. Seeing the people who outwardly seemed to be completely fine did not help, but we started by bumping down most of their ages. That visual seemed to finally work. The fever dream just might be real.


    They both just sat and stared at the inanimate bodies deep in thought, not unlike me few hours ago. I watched them for a change. I felt relief having thrown this massive weight off my back and onto theirs. The two deliberated extensively, even suggesting waking some as they are and making sure they weren¡¯t being lied to. Not in those words, but the undertone was clear enough.


    Another new cocoon started forming and I held my breath, but it wasn¡¯t one I¡¯ve been waiting for.


    ¡°Come with me, please,¡± I muttered just so the demon would hear and left the room along with the restless deliberation within in. My buddies will feel more comfortable spouting dissent, and I wanted to try something unconventional and possibly even displeasing to the eyes too. The couple held on well, faced with all these wild developments, but I didn¡¯t want to push it.


    ¡°The girl you just made might be Ruby¡¯s daughter. Would that help you find him?¡±


    The figure walking right behind me remained silent as we moved downstairs, but it was one of those thoughtful silences, because there was no way he didn¡¯t hear. When I turned from watching rustling flame, I found him sitting comfortably on the couch. Sea-monster¡¯s appendage even risked leaning back on the wavy hair-like ears, making the posture of imitator appear almost natural. Legs apart but not too wide, sat far enough from elbow-rests. Exactly perfect for straddling that lap.


    Would he care? He had always kept some distance, but it was most likely a courtesy to me. Did I really want to? Reluctantly, but yes. The alien creature has been trying to accommodate my mortal whims and when I toned down my paranoia I could appreciate that. Yearning to touch was back in full force. It swung wildly between brushing lightly with fingertips to digging into his skin with nails.


    I sank my hand below his fake locks to cusp the side of face. Monster¡¯s bright red eyes shone below, betraying no thought or feeling. My filthy thumb hovered above one and I sank it down. He didn¡¯t even twitch when nail still blackened with blood underneath it touched the slick surface. I could claw the vivid iris out and he¡¯d let me. Was it acceptance or indifference? Containing my violent inclinations I landed a knee to the side of him and kissed the thin lips instead. There was not a sliver of hesitation as his hands gripped to pull me closer. Tongue eagerly greeted mine.


    When I withdrew, his snaky feeler remained for a while longer. I bit it mercilessly and I could bet the cheeky asshole smirked before removing his tongue. Of course, the bruise meant nothing to him. He was showing me he didn¡¯t mind. He provoked more. It caught me by surprise that my first instinct wasn¡¯t worry over trickery or my safety. This massive outlander was slowly wrapping me around whatever stood in place of his little finger. I was trusting him.


    I couldn¡¯t stand the piercing gaze and looked away. Startled, because somebody new sat next to us. Even in the dim light I saw the hair colour to be wrong, but I reached for the face anyway.


    ¡°It¡¯s not him,¡± I breathed out bitter disappointment. Vaguely remembered this asshat, too. He had given Cherry a bruise, so pint-sized Ruby made sure to return the favour. We might have had to run at mere sight of militia for a while after that. I wasn¡¯t too sure.


    ¡°I don¡¯t remember a lot of things,¡± I admitted in a mutter.


    ¡°Your kind rarely does,¡± monster spoke softly and soothingly. ¡°It¡¯s normal.¡±


    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    ¡°If a better, fuller version of me shows up. Will you just discard me again?¡± Which was a common occurrence really, but still somewhat unpleasant nonetheless.


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you rather I left you to your own devices and obsessed with someone else?¡±


    Touch¨¦, monstrous being, touch¨¦. I gripped his lapels and assured, ¡°I¡¯d rather plan accordingly.¡±


    ¡°If another replica spawns, I¡¯ll make sure he lives on too,¡± monster answered, also gripping my forearms as though imploring me to understand. Perhaps I did. Didn¡¯t make me feel special, but after all I wasn¡¯t, and it was a healthy reality check. Never expected to compete with myself, though.


    ¡°I won¡¯t leave you again,¡± he added a promise. Nor will he let me leave either. The sentiment wasn¡¯t so terrifying anymore. The fact that Ruby was in all likelihood lost, left me feeling untethered and afloat, grappling for firm ground to hold onto.


    ¡°What are they up to?¡± I pointed up to discontinue previous sentiment.


    ¡°They tried to awaken other mouths, failed and got back to thinking how to kill me if it came to that.¡±


    I frowned at the ungrateful, distracted bastards and grumbled, ¡°Rude! That¡¯s my job.¡±


    ¡°Your group is indeed quite single-minded.¡±


    ¡°Well excuse us for getting screwed over over every little thing our entire lives,¡± I argued back but there was no bite behind it, just like there wasn¡¯t any real indignation. ¡°So those assholes really are just procrastinating up there?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re trying to understand. This isn¡¯t something they¡¯re used to dealing with.¡±


    ¡°Right,¡± I muttered assent. I was numb to all these bizarre experiences and was still astounded into inaction. My solution was to dump that entire problem onto laps of people who were born yesterday. It¡¯s good that I was never responsible for making big decisions.


    I fell onto my back across demon¡¯s lap and kicked Annie¡¯s sire¡¯s head, ¡°Get this asshole out of here.¡± The form of that man imploded onto himself.


    ¡°Do you think this place will let them stay here? And¡­ will they want to?¡±


    ¡°I can ensure either outcome if you deem it desirable.¡±


    I patted his bicep in what I hoped to be read as soft refusal and said, ¡°I¡¯m just wondering what would come next.¡± Things seemed to be wrapping up. I myself wasn¡¯t sure if I¡¯d like to stay in such an odd place. I was also convinced I¡¯d hate to keep seeing this group of people without certain red head in it.


    ¡°Will you come with me? I¡¯ve such sights to show you,¡± monster offered.


    I hated the wilderness. It was cold, dark and was full of things. ¡°I¡¯ll think about it,¡± I shrugged noncommittally, not letting roomful of prone bodies witness my capitulation. Not like any of us had better plans though.


    I dozed until creak on the stairs roused my attention. I squirmed to look behind me and Tom coughed with uncertainty tainting his words, ¡°May we speak? I¡¯m sorry, I haven¡¯t caught your name.¡±


    At first I thought he meant both of us or just the one in charge of this entire restoration, but demon kept on ignoring his mouth. Mellow man returned sentiment and just held my gaze firmly. I wanted to point out demon would hear them whisper a field away, but they were already wary of their maker. Sighed and got my ass up from the comfortable huddle.


    ¡°I¡¯m Reese. What¡¯s up?¡± Slowly made my way up to the room of dark magic and secrets. I was almost curious. Would they threaten to kill me and try to bend monster to their will that way? Miserable-looking Citrine didn¡¯t appear prepared for any shady business. Disappointing.


    Door shut behind us and unbranded man exhaled with some degree of relief.


    ¡°You know, for this fantasy to work they¡¯d need to be awake,¡± I waved around me, trying to get them talking. There probably were serious doubts about any of this crowd waking at all.


    ¡°What do you think should be done?¡± Tom asked still leaning on the door instead of asking for reassurances.


    Oh no, my past mistakes coming back to haunt me. ¡°You know¡­ The two of you are actually awake and in on the big secret because I really didn¡¯t want to deal with this.¡±


    ¡°The two of us are hardly the decision makers in our group.¡±


    ¡°Well, you¡¯re the best they¡¯ve got. Make do,¡± I assured with double thumbs up.


    ¡°There¡¯s still you! Just because Ruby isn¡¯t here doesn¡¯t mean you get to slack off too, Reese. He¡¯d be furious.¡±


    Heat rose up my back from shame, anger and finally joy when for a brief moment as I thought he had remembered something. I ended up grinning sourly. That chastising would have worked better had he remembered my actual name. I was almost caught in a verbal trap, but he was just taking shots in the dark. They didn¡¯t remember shit. It was a test.


    ¡°Ruby¡¯s not here. That¡¯s the best we¡¯ll get of him, even if,¡± I gestured to the empty forms on the floor and felt myself frowning. ¡°Learn to live without him,¡± I said in voice that unexpectedly went coarse.


    ¡°What would you pick if he was like this?¡±


    Fuck, what would I? Leave him the entirety of three recovered memories, only one of which might be remotely good since all of his life was spent fighting for the right to live? What if the memories were nothing but most bitter misery that will keep him haunted by people who weren¡¯t even alive anymore? Forgetting scraps of good remembrance in exchange for peaceful night¡¯s sleep was a bargain.


    He¡¯d want to keep it, I realised. No matter the cost. That formidable man would never want to be na?ve, clueless and defenceless. Ruby wasn¡¯t like me. But if I was the one picking for him¡­


    ¡°I¡¯d scrub it clean, start them anew and make sure he doesn¡¯t need to deal with same shit all over again,¡± I declared firmly. Now this was something Ruby would be furious over ¨C and I cared not. It was becoming painfully apparent I was no different to monster when it came to it. It was all too easy to ignore pleas of the powerless once I was at the top.

 22 V 3

    ¡°Two against one, Citri,¡± Tom spoke to the girl quietly sitting on the bed and I belatedly realised he had fished out an answer out of me.


    ¡°Whoah, that was purely hypothetical. And this is hardly a democracy,¡± my attempt to escape the decision process was haphazard and paltry at best.


    Tom turned towards me with a crooked eyebrow. ¡°You¡¯re right. This isn¡¯t a democracy. Neither it¡¯s a decision hot-headed kids like Denti can make. You know the stakes better than either of us, Reese.¡±


    The weight of his gaze almost made me want to confess all my sins, but there just wasn¡¯t any point to it.


    ¡°This is also none of my business,¡± I leaned onto the wardrobe and smirked to fend off the pressure.


    ¡°That¡¯s not the impression I got,¡± and before I could dismiss the notion Tom went on, ¡°After all, all of us are here thanks to you.¡±


    And also because of me. This is why people shouldn¡¯t be making assumptions without knowing all the facts.


    ¡°What is the name we used to call you before?¡± Tom asked and I averted gaze from the earnest expression. He was convinced and there was no changing it. I wasn¡¯t being very subtle about this in first place, so why all this stubbornness now? They were smart enough to figure this much out, it wouldn¡¯t be long before my complicity in their sorry state becomes apparent and from long lost ally I¡¯d turn into enemy most foul. That will suck.


    ¡°It¡¯s Reese,¡± I doubled down after picking up my backbone off the floor.


    ¡°Is that thing coercing ya sumhow?¡± Citrine whispered cautiously from her corner. Great, now it veered into an even weirder topic, one impossible to answer without sounding defensive. Nor did I want to bring that thing¡¯s omnipotence into further examination. I mean, what would they do if that was the case? Besides bolting for the mountains.


    ¡°Sure, whatever. So what are you doing about them?¡± I nodded towards the absentminded people.


    Mercifully, they got the clue and dropped it. We sat down and hammered out the details of more important things. Come morning, the cabin had eleven young children. All empty-headed and yet exceptionally eloquent. Monster spared no expense to their vocabulary, cognition or nimbleness. The little people put on the mismatched articles of clothing with such grace and coordination, all three of us adults stood slack-jawed and jealous. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was okay to keep it like this. On one hand creepy, on the other ¨C they¡¯ll need all the help they can get, especially if the group decides relocate to some other place.


    ¡°Alright, let¡¯s go introduce them to the rest!¡± I clasped my hands with enthusiasm I didn¡¯t feel.


    ¡°What are we telling everybody? Massive coincidence, we¡¯ve found all the little cousins instead of our friends?¡±


    ¡°Egh¡­ Half-ass the truth? Worked so far,¡± I suggested tentatively.


    ¡°Oh, there wus sumhing ¡®bout monsters yesterdaye. Wut wus tha¡¯ about?¡± Citrine inquired scrunching up the forehead.


    The roomful of strange children might be fun to explain to an already spooked crowd. I shrugged and got up, ¡°Food allergies. I guess I¡¯ll go gloss that over. You two keep an eye on eerily well-behaved juveniles? They might actually be pretty confused.¡±


    ¡°Right¡­¡±


    Surprisingly, when I got back down everyone seemed to be wakeful and not at all flustered. Did he make them forget? Monster himself was nowhere in sight, but it was past dawn and I figured he left to deal with the locals. Well, fine by me. I would not be questioning this unsupervised sandwich.


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    The managing power duo peeked out and finding no great havoc, went on and introduced our new little friends. The room was left stunned, even though more than half were very young and still stupid. Nobody trusted their eyes, and even ears upon hearing Tom¡¯s explanation.


    ¡°Bullshit! How do we even know that¡¯s them then?¡± rebellious youth under Dentist¡¯s influence called out. ¡°Are we to go on this asshole¡¯s say so?¡±


    Valid point all in all, and I had no counter-argument there. However, I saw an opening and stabbed back, ¡°You¡¯re free to go on another asshole¡¯s say so and get shot into the other buttock.¡±


    ¡°Ya and we know you lied about that now, don¡¯t we?! It was an accident and those people are nice,¡± midget limped forward bravely.


    I scoffed at the na?ve hypocritical brat, ¡°It¡¯s as though you never lead anybody on by pretending.¡±


    He argued back but I mentally checked out whilst wondering why the ringleader wasn¡¯t making those arguments himself. Found bushy eyebrows merging into one in the far corner whilst he whispered with Dancer. Conversation at large turned to borrowing more children¡¯s wear from the townsfolk. We¡¯ve always wildly improvised, but this little town insisted on helping, so nobody had qualms on imposing.


    Perhaps nothing bad was afoot? That would be nice. This was an eventful night, I was tired and I began eyeing the sofa.


    As if reading my mind and vehemently disagreeing with the plans to nap, Dentist popped up in my path. I really should have just went upstairs, but all that climbing up and down was hard on my chewed-up joints. Angry oversized child shoved me to refocus the wandering gaze back on him. ¡°What the fuck¡¯s going on? What do monsters want with us?¡±


    First instinct was to antagonise the brat and call him extra yummy. I squashed it.


    I could insist monster wanted nothing, but he wouldn¡¯t believe it.


    ¡°Denti, stop dat,¡± Citrine tried to intercede but it sounded a bit weak as though she too wanted answers. Perhaps just tired? She did stay up all night too.


    Whichever the case, it only spilled more oil into the fire, ¡°Nu-uh. This asshole shows up and starts saying we¡¯re all gravely injured, city¡¯s gone. Oh but relax, it¡¯s all fine! Some other monster is conveniently restoring us out of goodness of his heart. How?! And you¡¯re all buying that!¡±


    Any other time I would have been proud. Right now? I wanted a cigarette and to claw my face off. I was tired of this all.


    ¡°You¡¯ve got a terrible poker face,¡± I quipped. For somebody who suspected something this nasty he sure was running his mouth off a lot.


    Angry child reared back and swung. Which was scary, because he was no longer a malnourished kid and I was still quite the scrawny adult. The fist stopped some ways away from my face and I smirked.


    ¡°Your plan of action needs some work, too,¡± I fist-bumped his paralysed body and went to sit down. All those eyes watched me with horror and I felt like suffocating. The illusion of normalcy was over. I knew this was coming. It¡¯s good I chose to keep the distance. ¡°Oh, release him already,¡± I muttered to absent monster, who was evidently spying anyway. Dentist¡¯s arm fell to his side but he turned to glare daggers at me some more.


    ¡°For fuck¡¯s sake, what do you want me to say? You¡¯re correct. You¡¯ve all been killed by him, but he restored you too - for no fucking reason. One good deed a day? Soft spot for the orphans? Take your fucking pick.¡±


    ¡°Where¡¯s Ruby? Octavius?¡±


    Now I really needed that cigarette. My monster whom I was beginning to trust, growing attached to, even liked - has irretrievably killed a person I held dearer than myself. Saying it out loud left me no room to be delusional.


    My fingers dug into the face and I uttered forbidden secrets, ¡°They¡¯re gone.¡±


    Room was stunned into stillness, but I saw Dentist¡¯s knuckles strain against white confines of the skin. His face was pure malice.


    ¡°Go ahead, he won¡¯t stop you this time,¡± I said and really hoped that was the case. Felt like getting punched in the face, my teeth be damned.


    ¡°Yes. He will,¡± Dentist gritted out through forcefully clenched jaw.


    I stood up, scanned the room¡¯s many decorations and picked out a heavy brass candleholder. Got used to the weight and swung it towards my head so hard I found myself on all fours. Poked the bump and agony almost made me piss myself. Fingertip was coloured with a rainbow.


    I huffed and scrambled to stand up again. Brat in front of me looked on the verge of retreat. Unhinged wasn¡¯t what I was going for, but putting arrogant punks to their place was just the next best thing. I took a long look at my weapon of choice, wondering if I could put me out my misery instead of dealing with this.


    Somebody else¡¯s fingers twined around the metallic finery and they pulled it away. ¡°Denti, you idiot. How do you still not see this dolt is one of us?¡± Tom chastised way too loudly and then pressed a motley scarf to my self-inflicted booboo. I hissed instead of howling, but only because noise would have made it worse.


    ¡°Bullshit. This lunatic is with that thing,¡± petulant brat was mouthing off back.


    ¡°Yeah I don¡¯t know what that is about exactly, but everyone¡¯s memory is patchy. It¡¯s not a stretch to think we¡¯ve forgotten someone. Think. Who was Ruby running the operation with? Because sure as hell it wasn¡¯t on his own,¡± Tom¡¯s booming voice ricocheted in the empty chambers of my brain, causing me to wince. When the meaning of the words finally registered I felt like crying. He did remember. Sort of. And still even kind of trusted me.


    I turned to him, ready to sing praises and kiss the observant man, but saw him battling a nosebleed and refrained. Instead, I held onto his shoulder tighter so I wouldn¡¯t fall flat from all this relief.


    ¡°Yea, well, that¡¯s what they want you to think! If they can mess with our heads, they can make us remember whatever too! It probably was Amber. Who¡¯s also conveniently missing,¡± Dentist grated out with similarly reddening upper lip. Tom swayed by my side. It finally clicked.


    ¡°Get out!¡± I shouted. ¡°Get outside now! Take him,¡± I threw Tom onto unsteady Dentist and backed away, squeezing the gauze to the weeping injury. The roomful of observers were rousing, but not quickly enough. The smallest of them were also beginning to trickle from various orifices. Shit. ¡°At least open the windows! For fuck¡¯s sake there¡¯s poison in here get your asses out!¡±


    Distinct sound of elbows hitting the floor. Then snarling troublemaker tripped over nothing and two more joined the naptime.


    ¡°Shit. Park! Help! Please,¡± I shouted, looking around for a miracle solution. Didn¡¯t want to get close to anyone because it would only exacerbate the sickness. Couldn¡¯t even leave because some gawkers still stood at the stairs, the rest were slowly shuffling outside. The two prone bodies closest to me looked to have started sweating profusely. The thick sweaters were visibly soaked.


    Monster was nowhere in sight, but I felt very distinct wriggling under the scarf. He was aware then, at least. ¡°Help them,¡± I shouted like a madman and pointed.


    ¡°I am fine,¡± deep voice announced even though I was yet to see the speaker. Was one of the mouths appropriately appropriated? I didn¡¯t even care anymore.

 23 V 1

    The lounge didn¡¯t empty promptly enough. More than half were sitting down in a glistening goop. The ones who made it outside were probably doing the same, just in the cold. I heard foreign speech ¨C problematic, as they will be asking awkward questions but that was problem for afterwards.


    I didn¡¯t notice when monster entered, but he was by my side and tossing the bloody rag into the fire. The living bandage around my neck has extended upwards to cover weeping wound under the hair. My neck was wet, but when I touched it there was slick translucency instead of bold colour. It was him. He was bleeding.


    Unflustered man was holding me up even though I stood firmly on my legs. The squirming within the injury just wouldn¡¯t stop. It hurt and I complained, ¡°Stop that. It¡¯s fine. Heal them!¡±


    ¡°The mouths will suffer no damage from this and you¡¯ve dented your skull.¡±


    Usually pristine man looked a little perspired himself. The poison constructed specifically for him was hard at work. Mouths will be fine, but he will be sustaining some damage. I bit my lip in shame. How could I forget I was a walking bioweapon? I bit back a worthless apology.


    ¡°Who knew morning light could be so destructive? I mean, I suspected after that time we found some moonshine, but this is just as impressive.¡±


    ¡°Mmm,¡± monster hummed through a thick layer of sheen, ¡°you are rapidly cementing yourself as the sun in my life so I suppose it¡¯s appropriate.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t mad. He was¡­ flirting? Sweeping problems under the rug and receiving outside help to maintain the delusion always put me at ease. Pressure within me dropped immediately and the panic abated. However, the monster was still bleeding and I had no reference sheet for all these fake emotions he chose to exhibit.


    ¡°Ah, I always aspired to be a fireball of pure chaos. Sounds fun, no?¡±


    ¡°Not in particular. That¡¯s an unsustainable existence¡­ but you¡¯re well underway to fulfilling your self-destructive aspirations. Congratulations must be in order.¡±


    ¡°Yay,¡± I said mock enthusiastically and then hissed, ¡°Stop that, seriously. Take care of yourself. Your mascara¡¯s all runny.¡±


    ¡°Crying helps me cope,¡± he delivered it so deadpan I actually thought he was serious for a brief minute. In the end, I concluded the sheen could be a protective layer of sorts and decided to stick with that.


    Having calmed down, I finally deigned to spare some of my attention towards the burning reality all around me. The handful of still moving survivors must have stopped the highly concerned tide from flooding back in. Their bloody appearances, along with new bunch of very small children will require terrific gaslighting abilities to explain this away.


    That¡¯s all Dentist¡¯s very valid worries aside.


    ¡°What are we doing about all that?¡± I gestured towards the door.


    ¡°What do you want to do?¡±


    ¡°Fuck¡­ I don¡¯t know. I wish they all shut up and fucked right off.¡±Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.


    When silence echoed away in form of crunching footsteps, I rubbed my face tiredly and rejoiced I didn¡¯t thoughtlessly spout more radical measures. ¡°You know I wasn¡¯t serious though, right?¡± I had to ask.


    Monster shrugged so choppily it was more of a wince and spoke, ¡°It beat my suggestion.¡±


    Did I even want to know? ¡°Aren¡¯t you like, stuffed to brim?¡±


    ¡°Always room for dessert.¡±


    I nodded after consideration, ¡°That¡¯s fair. If I ever stumbled upon a buffet, I¡¯d need to be carried out too. Likely feet first. Anyway. Will they remember?¡±


    ¡°If you want to.¡±


    What was this, last wish fulfilment agency? Did I rub right accessories at long last? Was I in possession of some dangerous artefact? I wasn¡¯t big enough person not to use this.


    ¡°Can you¡­ pause cognition of the townsfolk until¡­ er, you¡¯ve fixed yourself? And erase whatever weird shit they¡¯ve just seen.¡±


    Something akin to a shiver ran through the land. The doorway was suddenly ominous. It was bright and sunny, but I wouldn¡¯t have stepped through that door even for a most delightful feast. As a matter of fact, I subconsciously backed away from the expressionless man too, even though he radiated nothing of the malice I felt outside. A sense I couldn¡¯t name was just aware the human shape nearby wasn¡¯t at all what he appeared and was indeed part of the problem. It¡¯s like I could smell it. If I closed my eyes I would see a million writhing grippers and feelers in place of the imitation. I could feel him crawling on my skin.


    This visceral reaction was as rational as it was irrational. I knew the malice wasn¡¯t directed towards me. He wasn¡¯t even doing anything terrible. It just felt wrong, out of place, too big for existence. I grit my teeth and reached out to grab onto the very tip of hem. I missed, grossly miscalculating the distance as though on purpose. I couldn¡¯t make myself touch it. This was some sort of intrinsic reaction. I should be plenty content not having ran¡­ yet. I stood way too close next to a demonic predator. I was but a meal.


    He took me by the hand and I was startled to find that appendage having five fingers. Monster¡¯s flesh was warm, not clammy. No longer oozing, at least not where we touched. There he goes pretending to be human again, I thought bitterly, but he clearly wasn¡¯t and there was no mistaking it. The oppressive presence wasn¡¯t budging an inch as though¡­ he was letting me get used to it. I was wrong. For once he wasn¡¯t hiding at all. But there was no overcoming the innate fear. This wasn¡¯t even a significant portion of him. A mere fraction. What did this godlike presence want with me?


    When I was about to fall flat into a whimpering mess, monster¡¯s arms caught and embraced me.


    ¡°Enough,¡± I breathed out through clattering teeth and sagged as the presence abated. My fear-heightened senses told me he was still all around, but further away.


    I guess I¡¯ll need to stop insisting he go full monster on my ass. This was not doable.


    ¡°You¡¯re just¡­ so¡­ big,¡± I squealed innuendos in my best mocking tone.


    ¡°You¡¯re much too tight,¡± monster joined the banter without batting an eye.


    ¡°Me? Puh-lease. That hadn¡¯t been the case since I was half my size.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s revisit this this line of conversation when you¡¯re half my size.¡±


    My uncomfortable truths which won many a verbal battle meant nothing here. Frustrating. Also, rude - pointing out I¡¯d forever be a miniscule bug in comparison. I pretended it didn¡¯t bother me, ¡°Sure. Wave it around proudly, no need for that ruler. I already yielded.¡±


    ¡°Thank you for reaching for me,¡± he whispered to my ear.


    For an absolute existence such as him that was a completely different experience. I would have wanted to think nobody else could dare to touch this personification of death, but at least that one being did. I was nothing special, only perhaps in a sense I was of no real danger to him. Safe plush toy to curl up around.


    ¡°If I¡­ Ever became that big. A threat to you. Would you still want me?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re a threat to me right now. Those mouths aren¡¯t moving not because I forgot about it.¡±


    Well, fuck.


    ¡°Is there a version of variables in which you¡¯d want me?¡± monster asked and left me astounded. Didn¡¯t take him for a type to care about trivial things such as opinions. Not when he could just roll over nations.


    ¡°In what way?¡± Unusually, it was finally my turn to ask for clarification. Did not feel like entering binding agreement with primordial god over a pet ownership.


    ¡°Any.¡±


    ¡°Wow, that narrows it down so much,¡± I let the sarcasm drip all over the place, but took mercy upon the socially challenged creature. ¡°Do I want to be a pet project of seeing how long an alien can keep fragile local alive? No. Do I want to be a chained-up slave, dependant on your good grace and whims? Also, no. And I don¡¯t mean physical chains ¨C after all, you¡¯re probably perfectly capable of yanking people around from afar.¡±


    I fell into consideration of less terrible fates, such as being friends. That¡¯s what we already were¡­ weren¡¯t we? Sure, if I ever forgave him for killing my other friends. If I ever forgot about him wanting to trap me, and forcing me to rip apart the stolen side of me.


    ¡°If I wanted to get away from you now, would you let me?¡± I asked after a little bit.


    ¡°You would die, I can¡¯t let that happen.¡±


    Back to square one. It¡¯s as if none of those things happened. To one such as him, they probably didn¡¯t. My hate meant nothing, because in the end emotions were irrational. Insignificant. And, sure - in the grand scheme of things they were, and I had to disregard my personal feelings a lot in my life and especially that particular line of work a lot. I guess I was being decidedly petty here.


    Was this because I was finally in a situation with tiniest bit of leverage? I could hurt this person if he stepped too far. I was not entirely powerless. That helped.


    ¡°Good talk,¡± I patted his forearm. ¡°I¡¯m going to sleep. Let my friends do whatever they want if they want. There¡¯s nothing left to hide from them. They had to find out sometime.¡±

 23 V 2

    I slunk back downstairs when I felt functional again. The house seemed fairly stuffed. Small people were running around and causing havoc.


    ¡°Nobody went anywhere?¡± I asked when Tom lifted his head up from a book. He was sitting by the darkening window and caressed the paper reverently. Did learned burglar find a book written in legible script or was the written word still cruelly beyond his reach?


    ¡°Dentist, Bank and Milo snuck out,¡± he spoke with a defeated sigh.


    ¡°And didn¡¯t take C? Rude.¡± She was part of the scrapper gang, after all.


    ¡°She didn¡¯t want to go. You know she¡¯s¡­ a bit different now.¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± You¡¯d think missing memory would make people more immature. Not in that particular case! ¡°Does that bother you? Or her. You know it can be¡­ adjusted.¡±


    Tom shook his head, ¡°No. Citri said she knows exactly what she¡¯d forgotten and doesn¡¯t want to live with it again. It¡¯s more peaceful around the house, too, don¡¯t you think?¡±


    ¡°Dunno, man, I slept straight through the day. Do you¡­ uh, remember this morning?¡±


    ¡°You smashing your empty conk open? Yeah. Hard to put that out of my mind, actually.¡±


    ¡°Whuchu reading?¡± I gestured towards the thick tome on his lap instead of going deeper into that mishap.


    ¡°Dictionary. Some of the new kids know how to read.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ nice? You can ask to have that too.¡±


    ¡°Can I?¡±


    ¡°Sure. He¡¯s not actually¡­ monstrous. That guy¡¯s perfectly reasonable. He¡¯s just¡­ not human.¡±


    Tom shut the book and tapped its cover. That was a poor choice of words. Perfectly reasonable? About a creature which killed them all and wiped our hometown off the map.


    Averting my eyes I spied an untouched basket of food. Dried meat, bread, several fruits, more of the buns. They were too obedient. Afraid. Some after all were wide awake when monster¡¯s nature surfaced. The creature in question was nowhere to be seen, but it was enough to have felt it once. Dentist was actually too brave to still be alive.


    ¡°You can probably eat. It¡¯s just that you all are still connected to him and by ingesting you¡¯d feel it.¡±


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    ¡°Is that¡¯s how it will be from now on?¡± he asked in an uneasy whisper.


    ¡°No. I think you¡¯re all done, he¡¯s just using the collective recollections to look for others¡­¡± that he ate. I shut up in time. Tom was too relieved to have caught my slip. Sure, they already knew everything, and perhaps I was just being conned for info but I preferred this tentative peace.


    ¡°I actually hoped the group would wander around the town today and figure out what you all want to do,¡± I steered conversation into clearer waters.


    ¡°The locals seem nice. I think they want us to stay. There is not a single other child! Why do you think is that?¡±


    ¡°Not sure. Some localised disaster?¡± Monsterised, more like. Didn¡¯t want to go back into that line of thought. ¡°I got same impression. The crones here are far superior to the ones we grew up with, eh?¡±


    ¡°Incomparably. An entire basket of perfectly good treats? That¡¯s more than what I¡¯ve gotten from my parents. Can I¡­ ask you to tell about yourself? Nothing I didn¡¯t know before, just¡­ it¡¯s hard to know I know you and have just vague feeling of deja vu to back it.¡±


    I averted gaze to stare at the falling snow. ¡°There¡¯s not much to say. We weren¡¯t close. You minded your business even before the injury and I was scarcely home, working. Ruby took care of everything and I just went along with whatever he wanted. I¡¯ve known him the longest.¡±


    Man¡¯s lips moved as he was connecting the dots and formulated follow-up question. Failed. Quiet man merely stammered out, ¡°¡­ Cherry?¡± Figures, she was up there in the chronological line.


    ¡°Dead. Monster¡¯s got nothing to do with that. Not this one, anyway.¡±


    ¡°Bad client?¡± he whispered clenching fists.


    ¡°Yeh. With Lime.¡±


    ¡°Fuck,¡± he cursed silently. ¡°I don¡¯t remember any of that.¡±


    ¡°I do. Peach went missing around then, too. Right? Somebody said she left, but that haughty bitch would have never left her precious stuff behind.¡± A woman interceded and I had to stop and wonder who this was. She sat with legs curled up close and hugging thighs as though to pull up a skirt and that hinted towards identity more than the face. Ugh, Marina.


    ¡°You won¡¯t get anything out of eavesdropping here,¡± I lashed out trying to mask my complicity in that disappearance, just to find myself pinned under Tom¡¯s examining stare anyway.


    ¡°How can you talk to me like that? I am just trying to helpful!¡± It would have been a completely valid point, but waterworks ruined the effect and merely prompted me to scowl. ¡°What a miserable day. Tommy, tell him off!¡±


    ¡°Learn new tricks, princess. He¡¯s not blind anymore,¡± I mocked and was not surprised to hear even more fake wailing. I received glares from other eavesdroppers sprinkled around the room. Didn¡¯t take it personally - the noise was irritating.


    ¡°Reese, apologise,¡± Tom chastised me anyway.


    ¡°We need your eyes checked out. But fine. I¡¯m sorry you¡¯re as average as the rest of us now.¡±


    ¡°You uncouth imbecile! I¡¯ve been through a lot!¡± Marina shouted as though rest of us were on a vacation. Getting nothing from me, irritating woman stormed off.


    Finally, some peace. However, the ambience was ruined and occasional frown tossed my way was a reminder that to them I was but a stranger. Or worse - the cause of their predicament. Just some asshole picking on one of them, regardless of how annoying she was being. There was not one usual smirk. This was not something I wanted to suffer through this fine evening.


    After an irrelevant exchange of words, I picked up a fur coat off the new pile, jumped into boots I haven¡¯t seen before and ventured outside. Wasn¡¯t long before crunching of a second set of steps joined me. Broken greeting reached me.


    Bilingual flirt must have been keeping an eye out on the suspicious house. Another sneaky individual ready to squeeze some sort of information out of me. I had nothing against that. Loved that game and encouraged the man with an inviting smile. After all, never know when an infatuation of random bystander could save my ass.


    I struggled to remember the few words I¡¯ve learned and his patchy collection of phrases was not much more impressive. The rapid glances towards my lips clued me in more than attempts at verbal exchange. This guy was forward and I didn¡¯t hate predictable people. Less talking meant a drama-free time too. Perhaps a bed for the night, away from all the problems.


    Without much overthinking I leaned in and kissed him. He froze up upon the contact, but tentatively closed in to press our chests together and reached for my hand. Muttered what probably was an apology for the glove and stuffed it into the pocket. His fingers were cool and calloused. Erudite initiated another touch of lips, but this contact was rigid too. He was clearly interested, but the facial expression was that of tasting vinegar. Man spoke and gestured towards the mouth.


    ¡°Bitter,¡± was the only legible word he remembered. Before any of that could be laughed off, local man was gripping the throat in pain and coughed. Snow was no longer white. I felt like falling. I waited for this awful dream to end but the snowflakes kept on swirling all around.


    Why me? Why does it keep happening to me?


    This was purely my fault. I caused this. I¡¯ve completely forgotten that the spit was noxious too and not only to the demon. I was tired of suffering the result of all these poor choices. So, so tired. I just wanted fifteen minutes of peace. Instead, reality kicks me straight in the groin. My existence was a bane ¨C upon me, my friends, strangers, the monsterkind.

 23 V 3

    ¡°Park,¡± I pleaded weakly of the wind. I knew he¡¯d hear. He was likely watching all along. It was probably hard not to if he¡¯s become one with the land. Whatever that meant. Pompous douche.


    I felt touch of apprehension when his form emerged somewhere close by, but didn¡¯t flail to look. My attention was affixed onto the man twitching in death throes.


    ¡°Can you heal him?¡±


    ¡°Of course,¡± whisper replied smugly and refused to elaborate.


    Will you? I didn¡¯t ask. That would be answered in negative. I knew him that much. This was no wandering philanthropist.


    Making deals has never worked before but this was for something he might have actually want, ¡°Fix him and I won¡¯t touch another. Just you. I¡¯ll be all yours.¡± Trading in my body again made me feel as cheap as I was. How could I even dare to bargain with something so worthless? But he wanted this pound of flesh, so maybe¡­


    Footsteps crunched toward me and figure towered, even though hornless form wasn¡¯t that much taller than me. Normally. I must have been slouching, crushed under the weight of all my mistakes because he looked absolutely colossal.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have the choice anymore,¡± monster¡¯s speech thundered ominously from way too close. Of course the alien intelligence wouldn¡¯t overlook I didn¡¯t even have anything to bargain with. He was the only one I would not immediately poison to death. My pretend-voluntary submission meant nothing to it either. Was there anything else this transcendent life-form could desire?


    ¡°I¡¯ll promise to stop trying to off myself,¡± I spouted out the only other thing I could offer.


    He would have scoffed, had he been human. Instead, shape in the dark hissed its utter disbelief. Primordial being seemed not to be in the mood to be manipulated with nonsense. After all, the creature too knew me enough not to trust my word. Unnatural pressure rose and I had an urge to watch the shadows beyond crooked sheds and small firs.


    When palm of his hand landed onto side of my head which was still covered by fleshy bandaid, I thought monster would bring up all the unconventional ways at his disposal to keep me cognisant and operational. He did not. Perhaps it was enough just to imply. To remind me.


    As though I could ever forget. Not while drowning under this unnatural heaviness oozing from the dark.


    Instead of veiled threats, omnipotent being deigned to spell it out, ¡°You want me to rip piece of myself out and put it within an existence I do not care to preserve.¡±Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!


    I looked for clues on his face but even if it wasn¡¯t dark I shouldn¡¯t rely on the inhuman expressions. It made sense, really. He wasn¡¯t being petty or vindictive. Saving a life was easy for him, but it wasn¡¯t an obligation. Just because everyone else had food didn¡¯t mean I was entitled to it, no matter how much I craved it. I had to work hard to rip it out of their hands. I wouldn¡¯t be simply exchanging an arm for someone¡¯s life either. Surely not for a random passer-by, even if I was the undisputed cause of his death. It was unfair of me to ask for someone else to do it.


    I covered the face with my freezing fingers and remembered that digging beneath skin to remove the problems would never be a solution again. Fucking outstanding. But even now I had to keep on thinking about future, even when I wanted to have no part in it. The others still needed to have options.


    ¡°Can you hide the body?¡±


    Turned out that he could, and even without arguing. Tendrils twined and cut into the thick wintery getup like lard, then dragged pieces underneath. Snow would soon hide rest of the evidence. I felt nasty beyond words. Sure, I¡¯ve killed before ¨C but never like this, without meaning to. Until this unfortunate guy.


    I fell backwards into a drift and waited to be buried beneath the beautiful cold too. Snow falling on my face was cutting and generally unpleasant. Biting frost never was.


    Eyes wide open caught an occasional snowflake meandering through the splayed fingers atop. To think just yesterday I briefly let myself hope the things would potentially be okay! What a mistake that has been. Mere assumption brought on a swift reality check. I shouldn¡¯t have relaxed. Shouldn¡¯t have expected better.


    I was homeless and the only people I called family would never be welcoming again.


    I was a whore whose services were impossible to render.


    I was a pet of an enormous being who could crush this entire world.


    I was but a sentient plague on two legs.


    All my solutions only caused grander, more intricate problems.


    This was truly the end of the road. Inaction and despair kept me firmly locked up in place.


    The thin sliver of monster¡¯s skin guarding my wounds was expelling heat at an alarming rate. I wouldn¡¯t be permitted to freeze to death and abandon my woes that way. I wanted to leave. To never see anyone again. I wanted to cry and wallow in misery and discomfort. At very least until morning.


    But I also knew that was a meaningless waste of time, especially when I could be spending it in a warm bed instead. I had a lot of perspective that way.


    Stuffed capricious child back into his box and dusted myself off. Smiled at the dark shape still looming nearby.


    Monster expected me to dance for it. Cause some great waves in my futile resistance against impossible odds. Burn brightest right before my fire goes out. Coincidently, exactly that was plausible just now and would not be ever again in the future. I could bleed, forcing him to eat all that poison in his weakened state. I could die, taking him with me if he tried to salvage me like he claimed.


    Didn¡¯t feel like it.


    Reached deep but found no anger aimed at it. Monster wasn¡¯t at fault here. If anything, the creature tried its best to be helpful.


    I didn¡¯t want my abominable life to end where it started, either. I still gullibly expected for things to look up. There had to be more than just this, over and over and over again.


    I should just cease reacting to outside stimuli, become utterly uninteresting. Force him to abandon this boring toy. My greatest act of defiance.


    I didn¡¯t want him to leave. He was all I had now. All I would ever have, the monster that I have become.


    Would he kill me once I become boring and reliant on him? It was how these unlikely sponsorships usually went, once the novelty wore off. There was nobody to bail my dumb ass out of that hysterical situation again. I suppose it was an acceptable outcome.


    ¡°When you kill me, do it in a way I wouldn¡¯t notice. Like the girl at the beginning.¡±


    ¡°Kill you? After everything I¡¯ve done to have this small piece of you?¡± darkness all but boomed at me.


    ¡°You know what I mean.¡±


    ¡°No. And to begin with, wasn¡¯t your worst fear I¡¯d keep you forever?¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t being realistic. There¡¯s no way you¡¯d keep a pet ant that long.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not an ant, little monster. And your initial guess was correct. I don¡¯t let go of things I like.¡±


    I wanted to shrug his words off and insist on my request, but they rung true. This mammoth was dead set in his ways. My grimace of forced pleasantness relaxed.

 24 R 1

    Slogged through the white powder alone. Perhaps ancient horror picked up I was in no talking mood, regardless of my deceptively beaming demeanour. Or perhaps he knew something I didn¡¯t ¨C which I began suspecting the moment I saw lone figure at the window. It was late, but light danced in the room and the person watched as though in waiting.


    The moment I emerged out of the dark, there was movement. Mentally prepping for trouble, I smiled even wider and strode towards the door, which swung wide open to greet me. Not alarming at all.


    ¡°Where have you been? It¡¯s so late! We worried.¡±


    Ugh, Marina. Before my fake expression could slip, girl stuffed a scorching cup into my hand, still keeping the handle to herself. Mere waft of warm air from inside enveloped my face and hands in an unpleasant stabbing sensation. This? Drove me homicidal.


    But also forced to concentrate. I set the mug aside to undress already dripping coat. Examined the lobby and utter lack of the people. The cup. The fidgeting infuriating woman. They were worried. About angering their overlords. How¡­ glacial.


    Even Tom didn¡¯t trust me all that much. That was nothing but wordplay to get me talking. I really didn¡¯t want to be here anymore, but rabid dogs wouldn¡¯t have chased me off the rug in front of that rustling fire.


    ¡°Hey, I¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I shouldn¡¯t have interrupted you two,¡± wide-shouldered girl daintily sat down next to me and laid her fingers on top of mine. The amount of disappointment was hard to conceal, but I had a lot of practise.


    But it wasn¡¯t just them, was it? Did he encourage it? Was monster behind this?


    My smart mouth passably participated in conversation whilst my swirling mess of a mind produced more and more paranoid conclusions. Was I really being irrationally psychotic if everybody did have their own agendas to complete?


    ¡°I made some sandwiches. Here, try them,¡± masculine princess offered with seductive lean towards me and I had to concentrate to hold in a snort. Began to relax into this distasteful farce. If they were willing to fuck with me like this, I¡¯d push back. These people will regret sending amateur to tango with the master.


    ¡°No, no ¨C you try them. Look ¨C oh my god, is that a blueberry jam?! I can see the actual berries. You might never again hold treasure like this in your hand,¡± I enticed. Basket was still mostly untouched. The group collectively decided to abstain for some reason.


    ¡°Oh, no, I couldn¡¯t. I¡¯m watching my figure,¡± she lied lousily. None of us had the luxury to turn down a rotten bite of food.


    ¡°Oh, but I insist,¡± I nabbed one of the sandwiches and hovered it in front of woman¡¯s face and she all but screamed.


    Shortly after I began my teasing, people burst in through front door, all braced for fight. Dentist¡¯s eyes fixed upon me and he dredged snow everywhere with angry stomps. What a timing.


    ¡°What did you do, asshole?!¡± he shouted leaning down to bunch up the collar of my sweater. He¡¯d have liked to punch instead of asking, but remembered how fruitlessly that ended before. Urge to taunt this fearless hothead was overwhelming. I could just openly antagonise the entire lot of them, none of this mattered anymore. I needed to leave anyway. Both me and the creature.A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    ¡°Wait you stupid brat, calm down! I just got startled,¡± former princess tried to yank him off, and his now undressed buddies indecisively lurked around.


    ¡°Spooky spooky sandwiches,¡± I still held some of it in my hand and hovered the piece of dark bread in front of my assailant.


    He sneered, ¡°I know what that does. What are you up to?!¡±


    Cocky prick clearly didn¡¯t know shit and I really wanted to rub his face in it. Literally. My saintly patience was giving up and the ruinous mood wanted out.


    ¡°You¡¯re gonna be great replacement Ruby,¡± I tapped kid¡¯s tense fist lightly with what I hoped to be assurance. His scowl thawed with confusion, then hurt and I felt just a wee bit less alone.


    His jaw clenched with wrong conclusions and even more anger. Serves me right for trying to be the adult. I didn¡¯t even want to be smiling politely entire night.


    ¡°Don¡¯t say his name! Give him back, you fucking murderer!¡± brat screamed spitting all over my face. I did say I was ready to fight rabid dogs for this spot. I looked away to stare at the pretty embers instead, while toothless beast unloaded his frustrations vocally.


    Marina was actively clawing at Dentist¡¯s fingers, even the cronies tried to get the screaming child to calm down. Doors and stairs creaked with cautious attention. What a spectacle. Soon the lookout on the palisade will come to watch. I couldn¡¯t care less anymore.


    Irritating woman¡¯s words eventually cut through the mayhem and left the one shaking me slack-jawed. Dentist let go and I bumped my head on the floor, but carpet barely saved it. Still, I saw stars for several seconds. Discussion has moved on but I didn¡¯t seem to have missed much.


    ¡°What, you don¡¯t even remember that? Gosh, y¡¯all are so stupid,¡± Marina brushed her non-existent locks behind the ear. For once, I had no complaints ¨C whatever insignificant things she spouted, aggravating damsel successfully took the heat off my ass.


    Before that could truly come into effect, everybody stilled and sleepwalked out of the room in an orderly, synchronised manner. I don¡¯t know if I felt any otherworldly presence or the sight was just that eerie, but a shiver ran down my spine regardless.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± I murmured looking away. Unsettling or not, there was finally peace and quiet. And I didn¡¯t even need to wrestle with the dogs. Not even pay attention to the undercurrents. How¡­ refreshing.


    Turned on my side and I curled up in front of the fire. I was still half-frozen. Must have stayed outside longer than it seemed. The collar and my shackles pumped out more heat than the yawning hearth. Right. Despite the appearances, I was far from being by myself. It¡­ wasn¡¯t so bad.


    I didn¡¯t know when I started, but caught myself lightly brushing foreign patch of skin on my neck. The creature was stealthily intruding, but I guess I didn¡¯t mind sharing space with the quiet presence anymore. After all, I hated being alone. It was when everything seemed bleakest and most impossible. It was a time of endless inner lament.


    A palm gently touched my head and ran down my hair. The caress was deeply relaxing. I felt my back muscles unclench. I permitted myself to think I wasn¡¯t entirely forsworn.


    ¡°I want to leave this place,¡± my lips confided without permission.


    ¡°We can,¡± monster entertained my whims in a dulcet whisper.


    We could? Yes, I suppose I wasn¡¯t as constrained by circumstances anymore.


    ¡°But, well, everything,¡± I gestured upstairs vaguely. There were a lot of things to take care of. Negotiating with the locals about new residents. Finding out if group of juveniles wanted to stay ¨C frankly I was fine just dumping them here. Neither party wanted further involvement with one another and the band of misfits was fully capable of solving their problems themselves. It would be diligent to leave one or two of them as mouths for more serious troubleshooting¡­ but perhaps not the hothead. Then there was appropriating provisions for myself for the trip. Also there was that pesky youth-seeking creeper somewhere out there¡­


    ¡°I will sort it out. We can leave as soon as you wake.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d rather that happened before they wake,¡± I pointed upwards again, but suppose it wasn¡¯t an issue anyway. Monster could keep them under indefinitely.


    ¡°Where do you want to go?¡± he redirected flow of my thoughts.


    ¡°Somewhere warm.¡± Very specific, I know, but I wasn¡¯t all that picky. Another shack in the next town over would be ideal.


    ¡°Do you want to get there fast?¡±


    Surely, he didn¡¯t mean a car. I narrowed my eyes and grinned.


    ¡°Fishy. I¡¯m in!¡± Anything to avoid slogging through the endless mounds of powdered ice. I also majorly didn¡¯t mind monster letting his guard down at long last. It was hardly worth the effort to hide the otherworldliness he possessed.


    ¡°It can be fishy, if you want to go to really warm places.¡±


    ¡°No way! There¡¯s fish in hell?¡±


    ¡°I implied tropical islands, but we can look for that too.¡±


    ¡°Islands? Buddy, I¡¯ve only seen lakes and that was just like last week.¡±


    ¡°You will see everything there is to see,¡± the whisper promised.


    ¡°Ominous. I¡¯ll make sure to not get cataract.¡±


    I was both terrified and a little thrilled. Never have I envisioned myself by the open waters! This¡­ I was really starting to look forward to this.


    Perhaps being a pet wouldn¡¯t be all that nightmarish. What does it even matter anymore? I¡¯d have traded more for less. This master has never asked anything of me, just forced me to stay alive.

 24 R 2

    We exchanged quips and bantered deep into the night until I fell asleep again. Speech woke me and I almost groaned. Turned to lay on my belly to observe the issue. A kid I did not know sat on the couch babbled on to himself, by the looks of it. Monster wasn¡¯t replying in any case and there was nobody else present.


    ¡°Fucking finally! Hello, new mouth. Why do you smell so odd?¡± and on and on. Right, there was an entire someone else in the room. He must have been banking on waking me. That, or perhaps mouths did not sleep? If he thought I was one, all the questions in the tirade were expected to be answered. What were those now?


    But wait, how does he know about mouths? Before I could untangle my brows, the odd underdressed child strolled out of the room straight into the snow, still babbling on.


    My gaze landed on the source of all strangeness and the creature must have read a demand for answers, because they came immediately, ¡°My mouth, to guard your acquaintances.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s loud,¡± I stated my most pressing complaints blankly. My mind was not fully operational yet.


    ¡°It¡¯s a mouth.¡±


    I rubbed my tired face and decided I probably deserved that for all my past transgressions towards newly woken. Karma was a bitch.


    It was still dark, but I saw hefty backpack and the clothes I wore all radiated warmth. There was hat and mittens nearby. Monster brazenly trampled the boundaries yet again, but it was too considerate to complain. In the outside conditions, hiding under his skin was an understated pleasure.


    ¡°Is it time to go?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re on your schedule,¡± dispassionate tone informed. I rolled my eyes, regardless of feeling oncoming diabetes.


    ¡°Is it anywhere near dawn yet? Are you ready?¡±


    ¡°It is and even if I wasn¡¯t, I can split my physical presence many times over,¡± monster boasted by stating the facts. He must be feeling better.


    ¡°Pretty big words for someone still recovering from being kicked by a toddler,¡± I teased.


    ¡°It was at least a teenager,¡± he replied back completely straight-faced.


    ¡°Yeah, that changes everything. Speaking of. Why¡¯s your mouth a child? Is that gonna be¡­ alright?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not its original appearance.¡±


    A trickster, then. Raises additional concerns, but I suppose it would be fine. I should stop questioning monster business already.


    ¡°And who¡¯s this?¡± I wondered out loud, kneeling by several more half-hidden children. None were of interest except... ¡°Amber,¡± I sighed involuntarily. She looked just like back at the church-ran orphanage, where we met. Where I met Ruby! I felt entire new part of my memory unlock. I scooped up the fragile form and held it under my chin for several minutes.


    Because she was in this tiny form I already knew there was nothing rattling around in the little round head. Regardless, there were words I never had the chance to say.


    ¡°Thank you. Don¡¯t lose your light,¡± I whispered upon deaf ears. Not only it was unfair to ask, this would now be an entirely different person with whole other experiences. That Amber was dead. This girl could grow up to be a spoiled, whimsical princess. The thought didn¡¯t upset me. Entire bunch deserved a break.


    I settled the girl back and heard words.


    ¡°Rivis, you cut your hair,¡± tiny hands grabbed onto my still uncomfortably long locks.


    I was left speechless for once. I was so choked up, tears threatened to fall. I didn¡¯t let the poison out.


    She remembered me. The not-yet-disillusioned longhaired kid, who didn¡¯t need to be all practical and scuffle-ready. A tiny, long lost fraction that even I failed to hold onto - but Amber had it.Stolen story; please report.


    Girl¡¯s eyelids grew irresistibly heavy and the child fell back into sleep. I gave myself a moment before speaking.


    ¡°Do you think there will be any others?¡± I asked out of formality rather than hope. Regardless of promising sight, that rustling thing was buried under thick layer of snow.


    ¡°Unlikely. Everything that¡¯s left has been reformed to hold my particulars. There are no more recognisable recollections to find them by. All I can do now is retrieve discarded particles such as skin from the place you¡¯ve resided at and remake bodies anew.¡±


    Tough call. But if there was a possibility, I did want Ruby to have second chance too.


    ¡°Sure. I guess. But I can¡¯t go back there right now¡­¡± There was nowhere to hurry anymore. Plenty of corners Ruby¡¯s blood has been spilled at. This final recovery can be done at any time. Dead people didn¡¯t feel pain of delay and I just needed a break. ¡°We¡¯ll visit later,¡± I interrupted whatever my monster was about to say.


    ¡°Gimme a minute and we can go,¡± I left to use the outhouse, not least bit embarrassed of the companion I took along. Life of privacy and shyness was never in the books for me. Clean up with the snow was more brutal than any remorse I might have had.


    I found monster already waiting outside with a backpack over his own shoulders. Frankly - big relief, because I assumed he¡¯d morph into something else and that massive burden would be my problem.


    Upon eyeing the stylish man with oversized travel pouch more carefully, I had to ask, ¡°Why do you have a bag?¡±


    ¡°Because I¡¯ll have my hands full,¡± he flailed the limbs between us in an obvious imitation of me. It was terrible. ¡°You won¡¯t eat it if I spit out your dinner,¡± he said far more seriously.


    ¡°Ah. Touch¨¦ again. You¡¯re just full of wisdom today. It¡¯s as if you¡¯re made of pure brain,¡± I replied with a crooked grin but was nevertheless touched. He was putting a lot of thought into this. ¡°So¡­ where¡¯s our ride? Oh, oh, are we gonna be travelling at the speed of thought?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d rather not do this here, unless you want to sow panic in the wake.¡±


    ¡°Tempting! Sufficiently dramatic for the departure. But yeah, no. Okay, let¡¯s do some walking.¡± I strode towards the gate and monster trailed after me reluctantly. I suppose vaulting over the fence was an option too, but too late to change my decision now.


    ¡°Did you get my gloves?¡± I asked and monster handed them over, along with the hat. Right on time. The ears were about to fall off, and that would have been a mercy. I trudged forth first this time, it was far easier with proper boots. Still lost my breath by the time we reached gates though.


    The men guarding the perimeter shouted between themselves and us, monster communicated back. I gawked at the brightening sky and tasted the snowflakes. Until I heard comprehensible speech from someone. Then I gawked open-mouthed some more, just without catching stray droplets.


    ¡°Yeah, leaving,¡± I finally replied and nodded along to whatever else he¡¯s been saying. Probably wanted the details of this abrupt departure, but monster was filling in the gaps. We shook hands energetically and I was glad for wearing the gloves.


    After some cajoling and handover of a mystery sack which he pulled out of far too small pocket, guardsmen finally got to opening the gate. I waved a goodbye once more, and turned to the mysterious man walking by my side. He was ignoring the landscape completely, eyes affixed upon me instead. I grinned wide. This dickhead really lied to me. He said one thing and did another. I might need to prove myself with actions too.


    ¡°Only because we were leaving,¡± he nearly growled.


    ¡°Was somebody a little jealous?¡± I teased good-naturedly.


    ¡°What do you mean, little?¡±


    Imitation of man probably said it jokingly too, but about then I remembered he wiped out a city in my name. I grabbed onto monster¡¯s hand and held it tight. Emotions or not, he did have something of equivalent function.


    ¡°Thank you. Not because of my sentiments towards the man, but because of others. It¡¯s a small place. He must have had family and friends who would have caused issue¡­ And been sad. I¡¯ve¡­ I did a lot of nasty things. But I had at least that. I don¡¯t want to hurt people who don¡¯t deserve it.¡±


    ¡°Is that why you refuse to be the one in control?¡±


    ¡°What? No. Maybe? I don¡¯t know. Man, you really went for the throat there. God damn autistic alien,¡± I cursed and dove into deep thought. I didn¡¯t want to be talking about this at all, but answers were his currency. I owed him this much.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to be what I¡¯ve been forged into,¡± I muttered, stewing in this paradox of my own making.


    ¡°You know you can¡¯t hurt me. Not that much,¡± monster attempted to soothe.


    ¡°Really? I do have a lot of blood, you know,¡± I boasted, but shortness of my breath betrayed me.


    ¡°Your impulse is to harm the other, not so much yourself.¡±


    ¡°Well if you know, why are you asking all this?!¡± I snapped.


    ¡°I probably lost entirety of that information, if I ever understood it at all. If it pleases you to exact power, why would you hold back?¡± omnipotent god asked me. I guess this planet should count its blessings for lack of emotion in our interplanetary guests. Really, really lucked out there.


    ¡°Because I had the pleasure of being the punching bag for twenty years. This might sound pathetically short to you, but that¡¯s is nearly my entire life. I know how it feels. I don¡¯t want to be doing this to anyone else.¡± And yet I had. Memory of it sickened me, even when recipient didn¡¯t mind it.


    ¡°You have no notion how it translates to my senses, so there shouldn¡¯t be a problem. Don¡¯t hold back.¡±


    I scowled distastefully at the clueless monster. ¡°Yeah and how about how that makes me feel?¡±


    ¡°Good?¡±


    God damn not entirely wrong alien. ¡°Not just that. What¡¯s a thing you¡¯d absolutely hate doing? Imagine cutting big chunks of yourself off. Like you¡¯re about to do¡­ But that you¡¯d start liking it, because it made you feel better the first time. And would keep doing it until there¡¯s nothing left¡­¡± My yap shut as soon as I realised this somehow turned into an anti-drug campaign and that none of this was applicable to a being who was actively reconstructing itself on a daily basis. Highly unrelatable.


    ¡°You¡¯re afraid you¡¯ll disappear?¡± he put it so simply. What was I if not an abused street kid? ¡°You always were fixated onto remaining the same. It¡¯s impossible, even for humans.¡±


    ¡°I know,¡± I mouthed weakly.


    ¡°The humans from the city which I consumed. Do you want me to restore as many as I can?¡± monster changed topic abruptly, but I was still stuck in molasses of identity crisis. Already I was neither a kid, nor was there a street anywhere in sight.


    I forced myself to change gears and pondered for a few. Answer came unbidden. ¡°Nah. I don¡¯t really care about them. Military would probably kill every fishy-smelling zombie anyway.¡± My lip quirked upon a sudden realisation, ¡°Were you trying to cheer me up?¡±


    ¡°I was hoping to butter you up for the next step,¡± he said still not looking ahead. I had to stare in front of me for both of us. It was too eerie to constantly be meeting the unblinking eyes.


    ¡°Whuchu mean?¡± I asked with caution. Monster was not dishing out empty warnings.


    ¡°Do you have any strong feelings about insects?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d rather not eat them if that¡¯s what you¡¯re asking, but beggars can¡¯t be choosers. Wait. No way, you¡¯re gonna put me in the jowls of a bug? What¡¯s wrong with horses? People love horsies,¡± or so I was told.


    ¡°It¡¯s not as smooth a ride as it appears. I promise you, you¡¯ll hate it. Especially for the distance we need to traverse.¡±


    ¡°Well. That just makes me want to prove you wrong,¡± I said just to spice things up, even though I had no doubt monster knew what he was talking about.


    Sense of unease was gradually gathering at the base of my skull. It was getting hard to breathe. I wanted to hide. Run. Legs wouldn¡¯t move. There was a dark figure in the distance.


    I gripped the glove in my fist instead, but it played dead. Cleared my parched throat to playfully accuse, ¡°Did you forget to take care of a little something?¡±


    ¡°No. This is new,¡± man with bone white hair gritted out.

 24 R 3

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± I asked cheerfully, trying to banish numbness from my body. There was no reply. Not one for human ears. Inaudible reverberations shook the snowy branches, occasionally scattering their heavy load to the wind. We stood and waited, so did the menacing figure. The pressure was suffocating, and I unwittingly turned to check if the mountain still stood where it ought to have been. It hadn¡¯t moved. However, just like my senses told me, there were some changes in landscape. Sparse pines that were perfectly upright were now all askew. Something moved under the snow. Not quite mountain, but massive nonetheless.


    I started walking backwards, to the safety of village and other people. Logically I knew they would not be able to help. Still, I desperately wanted a shelter. Somewhere far, far away. In a place without monsters. It was illogical, I knew they weren¡¯t the cause of worst things that have happened to me. I couldn¡¯t help it.


    The vibration from ivory monster nearby picked up and turned into a full-blown echoing growl. I froze still and after a moment dropped to curl up on my malfunctioning legs. That was all I could do anymore.


    Choppy hissing racked up in intensity and I imagined words distorted within it. ¡°Sss-tohp¡­¡± inhuman cadence commanded, scrubbing my entire mental capacity clean. What could I even be doing wrong, when I was barely breathing anymore? ¡°¡­ You¡­ Ss-carr-ing him,¡± tension started to ease and my scrambled noggin deciphered more meaning within the noise.


    I really really wanted to make a terrible remark and laugh it all off, but my jaw was still clenched shut.


    ¡°You go on ahead while I deal with this,¡± completely normal voice informed me and ground under me moved as well.


    ¡°No!¡± I shouted immediately. Staying close to him felt safer, even though I knew I would still be with him even whilst carried by some distorted abomination. But I clung to humanity in front of my eyes. There goes all my baseless insistence.


    ¡°Give him to me,¡± voice called out and this one was still coloured by low echoing growls. An unmistakable, awfully familiar speech. I raised my eyes to look and found exactly what I was expecting. Monster with large coiling horns and black cloak, who was carefully threading forward through rippling snow as if battling the tide.


    ¡°What the fuck?¡± My brain shorted out and that was the only prominent concern.


    ¡°I am not giving you to him,¡± human look-alike argued as though I was about to bolt. I might have, if I knew what¡¯s going on. Was I with a wrong guy? This appearance was highly suspect. Since when? He already looked like this in the hole. And he undoubtedly was the monster who ate my friends¡­ Or was he? The few most complete ones were grossly inaccurate. This life form could create people from nothing, if they were there at all. What if all of it was some wild hallucination?


    Most infuriatingly, both of these creatures hadn¡¯t learned a thing!


    ¡°I¡¯m not a god damn trinket to be passed around!¡± I shouted hypocritically, fully aware of how such mistake could have been made. After all, I was for sale most of my life.


    Anger dispersed some of the fear and I tried to stand back up. More human of the two offered me a hand, which I did not take.


    ¡°I won¡¯t,¡± he reiterated, human voice crackling with something more.


    ¡°Who even are you?¡± I tossed back at him.


    He hadn¡¯t replied, nor was there any emotion on the handsome face. Scent of a fresh cut intensified as if in response. If disappointment had an odour, I bet that¡¯s how it would present. I couldn¡¯t take that direct indifferent gaze any further and looked away. Whips cracked not too far off and served as a good distraction to concentrate upon. The battle under the snow drew nearer. I could see protruding spines and filaments meet and dodge. Horned monster was almost upon us.


    The other, gritty voice rattled off, ¡°That means nothing. We split off too recently.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ both of you are you?¡± I asked dumbly.


    ¡°No,¡± human imitator said somewhat disdainfully, ¡°That¡¯s a backup.¡±Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.


    ¡°You¡¯ve lost control. I¡¯m now primary functional brain. Yield.¡±


    Air pressure started rising again. Growling noise lowered more and more until I didn¡¯t hear it anymore, but ground shook and I was sure their discussion merely elevated somewhere beyond my comprehension. Before I became crippled with terror once more, I let out a desperate shout, ¡°Stop!¡±


    To my great surprise, they did. Tremors quelled.


    ¡°If both of you are the same person, why are you fighting?¡±


    ¡°We aren¡¯t anymore. He just wants to take you,¡± more human of the two explained.


    ¡°Apple didn¡¯t fall very far,¡± I muttered to myself and added with exasperation, ¡°This just makes me not want to go with either of you.¡± At least they vouched for one another and I knew I wasn¡¯t inside some delusion or got kidnapped by a completely new party. Probably.


    ¡°That¡¯s irrelevant,¡± growlier monster dismissed without a hint of consideration. The timbre and meaning behind it carried familiar lordliness, but somehow felt worse. Like he was about to pull out a leash. ¡°You¡¯ve allowed damage to him,¡± the horned one snarled out. The reprimand wasn¡¯t aimed at me, but the ire would have been better than to be discussed like an item.


    ¡°Perfect! Guess you don¡¯t want me anymore since I¡¯m soo damaged,¡± I announced cheerily.


    ¡°He doesn¡¯t know why he wants you,¡± a calm, deep voice commented with cemented conviction.


    ¡°I know he¡¯s important, and that you failed to preserve that,¡± distorted words did not deny the accusation. So this one had nothing, just some vague idea. After all, most recollections of me were ripped apart. Survivor of the monster mash must have put whatever remained safely aside.


    I quickly made my conclusions and rattled out, ¡°Wait, wait, wait. No. First of all, I did that to myself. Second, you¡¯re way too judgemental for someone who wasn¡¯t even there. And third, with memory so full of holes you shouldn¡¯t be this full of yourself, Alzheimer.¡±


    They must not have liked my brash logic, because blind demon¡¯s probing ticks intensified and the human figure countered it with unbefitting quiet growl. It looked like they were about to get back to shredding each other. I coughed, trying to disperse the tension which I sowed, ¡°Anyway, seems like we won¡¯t see eye to eye. You can fuck off now.¡±


    Tick, tick, tick¡­ tick. ¡°I see. Scurry aside, human. I¡¯ll find you afterwards.¡± Looks like my preferences amounted to total of zero. Disappointing, but unsurprising. I really wasn¡¯t a fan of this new (old?) guy.


    ¡°That implies you think you¡¯ll win,¡± I probed tentatively. This conversation was making me feel uneasy for entirely new reasons. My buddy was unwell, I knew that much. Had not imagined it was this bad. That it could even be this way. That apparently when monsters got sick, their bodies came alive to finish the job.


    ¡°Correct. He¡¯s too bloated to function. Holding onto spoiled tissue and permitting tertiary consciousnesses to sprout and take root within himself.¡±


    Yeah. I might have an idea why that¡¯s happened.


    ¡°No. Hold on. We¡¯ve just had this entire discussion already. Aren¡¯t the two of you brothers, if not the same person? Can¡¯t you like¡­ Mesh back together and fix your body? This scrapping in the middle of fields is unbefitting all that giant intelligence you supposedly have.¡±


    ¡°One would still have to dissolve,¡± gentler timbre of the two explained. That was quite the conundrum - for them, anyway. If there was identical copy of me, we¡¯d fight to be the one to leave.


    Okay. Breathe. There¡¯s got to be a way out of this.


    ¡°Alright. I know exactly what we¡¯ll do. Give me a moment,¡± I said only having vague idea.


    I dragged the backpack off monster¡¯s shoulders and began rummaging. There was nothing but food. Not at all what I¡¯ve been looking for¡­ but would make do. I started undressing. The gloves, the hat, the coat. Sweater and shirt. By then I was wildly shivering and would have loved to stay with at least the footwear, but pants had to go too so I ended up stark naked.


    ¡°Unwrap these too,¡± I pulled on the bandage on my neck and the arms.


    ¡°The wounds are too deep to let them loose yet,¡± monster¡¯s eyes were wide and frankly, crazed. I had no patience for his theatrics in this getup.


    ¡°We can stand here and wait until I get pneumonia or just get on with it?¡±


    The tissue reluctantly retreated and disappeared.


    ¡°Cool, cool, so here¡¯s what we¡¯re gonna do. You wait here,¡± shaking and clattering, I picked up two jars and strode off towards the horned devil. He was so terribly far and the drifts ¨C too tall! I knew my request was disregarded because even I could hear the crackling slithering behind me.


    About halfway, horned monster wasted no time snatching me up and dragging far behind himself. The animalistic growling and scuffling resumed with full force. If I didn¡¯t know better, I¡¯d have said some of those were pained roars. They went on and on as if neither needed to breathe.


    Suffocating pressure returned almost immediately too and I had to concentrate really hard to not give into my primal urge to lock up and weep. I had to be moving, damn it!


    ¡°So, anyway, I¡¯m cold and dying?¡± I enunciated clearly, demanding to be warmed. Even among the booming battling and unholy screeches the stranger with horns obliged, crafting a cloak and a surface to stand upon. These felt like dead leather, were merely above snow temperature. Still, I wasted precious seconds savouring a windbreak.


    Thus far everything went fairly as planned. Better, even. I was far behind enemy lines, having expected to get just as far as the bipedal manifestation. This was preferable by far. The whole field must have contained horned creature.


    Sky had been brightening, but night appeared to have fallen again. Not only that, the snow was melting. Scraggly plant life and bizarre growths were too intertwined to be distinguishable. I was afraid to look up and observe the rising shapes.


    Wasting no more time I smacked the clattering jars together, shovelled several pieces of fruit in my mouth, then traced my skin with the glass shards scattered around. Not deeply, but plentifully nevertheless. This creature was reluctant to heal me, just like when we¡¯ve first met and he¡¯d just dumped me at the churchtown for the others to do the job. He let me bleed. And I did, all over him. The living fabric confusedly twitched, then began retreating.


    ¡°Hey, where are you going?¡± I chased the escaping pad that I used to stand upon, dying the remainder of snow all around me. I flicked my trickling arms towards anything I saw move. Quite soon I¡¯ve found myself breathing hard within an empty circlet. The rattling battle of the two titans seemed so far. Perhaps they just moved away from cloud of poison. This was tear in the ocean, but this was all I could do to help.


    Well, there was one more card to play.


    ¡°Oy, Al! Why don¡¯t you just copy me and fuck off?¡±


    Ear-splitting screech could not be confused with anything else ¨C it was a wild disagreement with my proposal. I saw a thick vine try to make a brave return, but drown within itself midway. Then another, and again until one did manage to touch a tip of my outstretched finger. The bloodied tendril contorted and deformed just before being ripped off by claws.


    ¡°That¡¯s unnecessary. He¡¯s already swapped enough to be suffering from internal damage,¡± disembodied voice informed me as several pairs of jagged bone arms locked up around my torso and sprung away from scorched earth.