《Living Weapons》


 Into the Depths

    "I think we should cut them up into tiny little bits, and feed their flesh to their offspring! Buahahahaha!"


    "I don''t know why you would lower yourself to using that psychopath of a sword when magik isobviouslythe more elegant solution."


    "I''m not saying we can''t fight, but avoiding a problem can be the same as winning one..."


    "I''m with the shoes on this one. I don''t have to protect you if you never put yourself in harm''s way."


    I sighed, rubbing my hand over my face in exasperation. "They''re just measly little goblins. As much as I hate to say it, I don''t think this is nearly important enough to use magic. I''m with the sword this time...er...except for the bit about cannibalism. That''s pretty messed up."


    "Fine, fine," hissed the sword, "I didn''t want to have fun today anyway. But I do get to cut them up, right? I get to drink their blood?"


    "Sociopath," whispered the boots.


    "Coward," hissed the sword.


    "I suppose you''re right, Henry. These low-level creatures aren''t worthy of my mighty magiks," the spell book''s voice was deep and pleasing as always.


    "Right, so we''re all in agreement then?" I asked.


    "I still think running away is the better option, not that anyone cares what I think..."


    "You''re right, nobody cares what you think," the sword interjected.


    In rough agreement, I stalked into the mouth of the cave. Lichen coated the walls in thick layers; claw marks could be seen carved into the stone.


    "Not that I expect you lot would understand this, but goblins carve primitive symbols in the walls of their caves to warn away other goblin clans. The marks we just passed weren''t just claw marks, they announced that a goblin clan is in residence here," the book somehow managed to sound like its non-existent nose was held high in the air.


    "Blood, blood, blood," chanted the sword.


    "If that''s true, then they might be dangerous. We should leave. If we turn back now, we can use my enchantment to get us back to town in twenty minutes!" the boots attempted and failed to sound cheerful.


    "We are committed now, and I intend to protect our master from all harm! They will break their claws upon my face."


    As we walked, the smell of urine, feces, and worse assailed my nose. A small symbol appeared in the corner of my vision¡ªa flashing nose which read: ''Horrid smell debuff -2 to perception''


    "Blood, blood, blood," chanted the sword.


    The shield wailed in fury, activating its ability to dismiss all status debuffs. In a flash of light, the debuff vanished. I swore loudly and unimaginatively, "What the hell did you do that for? I don''t need perception, I''m not an archer!"


    The shield whimpered, "I''m sorry...I just didn''t want you to suffer. I couldn''t imagine if anything happened to you."


    I sighed, "It''s fine, but now I''m vulnerable to poison attacks. I''ll need to use magic to cure any status I get in the future."


    To add insult to injury, the bad smell debuff came back less than a minute later.


    "Blood, blood, blood," chanted the sword.


    We stepped out into a large, open cavern; I could see dozens of goblins milling about in loose formations, patrolling the caves. Beyond them, I could see what looked to be hundreds of sleeping figures around multiple campfires. My blood went cold.


    "I...I think we should run," said the boots.


    "Blood, blood, blood," chanted the sword.


    "I tend to agree with the boots on this one guys, and shut up with the blood thing. You''re creeping me out."


    I turned to retreat from the cave¡ªthis would need a subjugation squad from the Empire. There was no way we''d be able to take them all down by-


    "Use my magiks boy! We can slay the entire host of goblins by ourselves¡ªwe will be legendary!"


    All at once, every non-sleeping eye in the cavern turned to look at me, standing at the entrance to their cave.


    "Shit," I said.


    "Blood, blood, blood!" chanted the sword.


    I turned away from the mass of goblins, activating the boots'' ability to increase my speed by one-hundred percent. I launched from where I''d been standing in a flash, speeding through the cave as quickly as I could manage. I swore again as I saw a massive group of goblins emerge from a fork in the cave.


    "Oh, fuck me," I said, hearing the loud cacophony of goblin speak and hundreds of tiny feet slapping against the rocky floor of the cave.


    "Looks like we''re doing this!" I yelled, pulling the spell book up from the chain which dangled at my side.


    "Yes! Yes! Yes!" the book practically screamed in pleasure as I flicked to the spell labeled ''Fireball''. I raised my hand to the group in front of me, chanting the arcane words which would incinerate the mass of goblin flesh. "Inferni, volcana, erupti!" A blazing ball of brilliant flame exploded from my hand into the wall of green skin. Flesh melted from bones, a thunderclap of power resounded throughout the cave. To my dismay, I felt the earth tremble and watched in horror as the mouth of the cave crumbled and shattered.


    I was sealed in.


    Wiping dust from my eyes, I turned to face the threat behind me. "Quickly boy, use flash of light!" the book broke through the grinding noise of the collapse.Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.


    I did as it asked, closing my eyes and using the cantrip, "Illuminae!" A stunning flash of light lit the cave as dozens of screeching voices split the air. I drew the sword and charged into the group of stunned goblins, my eyes still held tightly shut against the light. I counted down from three as I ran, opening my eyes as I hit one. The light vanished as suddenly as it came, the goblins were in various states of pain, holding their eyes and screaming.


    I cleaved into the group of goblins, the sword singing a song of ecstasy with every cleaving swing. Blood, thick and red, clung to the blade spraying out in great showers.


    "Bahahahaha! Die, die, die, die!" the sword screamed.


    I felt my shield jerk forward of its own accord, blocking a rusty blade which had been destined for my side. The blade bounced harmlessly off its golden face. I reacted by slamming the shield into the nose of the tiny monster, breaking it in another spray of blood.


    I felt a sharp pain explode in my left leg¡ªa goblin I had nearly cut in two smiled in a rictus, stabbing savagely into my flesh as it died. I swore, the shield cried out in rage and impotent fury. I staggered back, parrying strikes with my sword, and batting away cautious swings from the now nervous goblins.


    I pulled a scroll from my rucksack, keeping my shield leveled forward against the tide of goblins.


    The book sneered as I handled the scroll, "You turn to that whore of arcana?! You degrade my name!"


    "Shut up! Your spells are just too powerful for this narrow-" I was cut off as I was forced to deflect a stone which had been hurled by a particularly clever goblin. I unfurled the scroll and hastily wiped a line of blood from my leg into the activator rune. Tossing the scroll into the air, I ducked behind the shield and activated its barrier effect. A dome of light surrounded me as a wave of flame flooded the chamber; I was rewarded by the piercing screams of seared goblins.


    I took advantage of the momentary reprieve to unstopper a purple phial, draining down its contents in one hearty gulp. I could feel my flesh knitting together, and my vitality returning in steady bursts. I dropped the barrier and charged forward, my speed still enhanced by my boots.


    After a grueling five minutes, I managed to dispatch the last of the goblin party, their screams apparently stemming the tide of reinforcements.


    "That. Was. Delicious." The sword practically purred in contentment.


    "That was terrifying, please don''t do that again. We can use my stealth enchantment to try and sneak out of here..."


    The book scoffed, "Sneak away from goblins? We are powerful enough to win out against this horde. In times past, I belonged to great and powerful arch-mages, to those who could wield the powers of aetheria, weaving their powers into grand tapestries of magik."


    "And our lad here isn''t an arch-mage, you trumped-up dictionary. Listen, we can''t be taking unnecessary risks. You agree with me right, Henry?" the shield''s voice reverberated ominously throughout the tunnel.


    I sat down against the wall of the cave, breathing heavily. "We should at least try stealth. We may be able to find a way out of here which doesn''t require me fighting my way through the entire mountain of goblins," I paused, listening to a distant drumming. I knew what that sound was; a magical recording of it had been played for every guild class.


    A goblin King.


    I sat against the wall, my heart matching the frenetic drumming. This was extremely bad¡ªif a King was present, that meant there would be hobgoblins, goblin lords, chiefs...


    "The presence of a King suggests a force in excess of thirteen-thousand goblins. While I believe that we could make a serious dent in their number, I do not think we would survive in any kind of direct confrontation," the book, for once, sounded slightly less than sure of itself.


    "So, we try and sneak away?" asked the boots cautiously.


    "We should fight them. Charge into their ranks and drown them in blood and marrow!"


    "This isn''t the time for your rambling, go back to chanting about blood or something," the shield''s voice was strained, stress evident in the tight pronunciation of each syllable, "We need to be cautious. We can''t afford unnecessary risks."


    "Blood, blood, blood," said the sword, sullenly.


    I rested my head against the lichen-covered wall. "I know we can''t fight them all, but we can''t just leave these goblins unharmed. The Empire is in no position to deal with a goblin invasion, we''re already stretched too thin against the Deep Dwarves and Traitor Nations-"


    "You can''t be serious, Henry!" interjected the shield, "If you die, the Empire wouldn''t get any warning at all. They might be pressed on all sides, but a strike without early warning would doom the Empire."


    I tightened my hand into a fist, smashing it against the cave wall. "I know the risks. I don''t propose we follow the sword''s advice, but we have to dosomething!"


    "What do you suggest, boy? Will we work great magiks together? Shall we render these foul, green-skinned pests into puddles of boiling lipids?"


    I shook my head, "No. I think caution is the better part of wisdom in this case. I''ve seen a few poisonous plants in this cave, I think we should practice what the old geezer at the Guild taught us."


    A collective groan escaped from myloyalgear.


    "I know it''s not anyone''s idea of a good time, but if we poison even a dozen cook-pots, we can cripple their offensive and defensive potential."


    "Can we at least cut their throats while they writhe in pain?" muttered the sword.


    "No. We do this by the numbers. I''ll use ''Nightcrawler''¡ªthe boots'' stealth ability to increase my chances of going undetected. I''ll use the spell ''Muffle'' to soften my footfalls, and I''ll use the shield''s ability ''Shadow''s Aegis'' to mask my passage. Together, we should go completely undetected."


    "And what will I do? Will I dangle at your hip like that useless book?" hissed the sword.


    I sighed, "You have the most important job, my loyal blade. If everyone else fails, you will cut me a path to safety."


    The sword''s voice was a purr, "I will await their incompetence eagerly."


    The others'' voices burned with wordless outrage. I raised my hands and asked them for quiet, "Prove my caution needless, my friends. I trust that you will not fail me, but you have to admit, having a plan B is never a bad thing."


    That seemed to quiet them down, "Now, I need to gather some ingredients," I picked up the book and leafed through its pages, stopping as I came to the spell I needed, ''Magelight''. I raised my hand above my head, "Illuminae Persist!". An orb of soft white light hovered a couple feet above my head. As I pushed myself to my feet, the orb maintained its distance. Now that I could properly see the cave, I was mildly astonished by the carnage we had wrought¡ªmounds of goblins lay strewn throughout the cavern, their bodies were bifurcated and blackened by fire. As always, there was surprisingly little blood¡ªthe sword typically drank greedily as it cut. I shook my head, averting my eyes from the carnage.


    I scanned the cave floor, looking for the patch of mushrooms I had seen earlier. After a few moments of searching, I spotted the telltale white and red spots peeking out from underneath the torso of a goblin. I grimaced, picking up the goblin''s body by its scrawny throat, and tossing it to the side. It landed with a wet thud a few feet away.


    I knelt to the ground, pulling out my sword. Carefully, I severed the stalk of the mushrooms. "What the hell is this?!" howled the sword, "This isn''t flesh! This isn''t blood!"


    "Oh, be quiet. I need you to drain these of moisture. These will work best dried."


    "Besides, fungi are technically more closely related to animals than plants. If it makes you feel better, you are still killing something living," commented the book.


    "These working conditions are unfair..." mumbled the sword, relenting to its unsavory task.


    Moments later, the mushrooms were dry enough to grind into a powder. I stood from the harvest, fungi in hand. "This is mors flore, one of the more poisonous mushrooms around. That being said, I don''t think that this alone will be enough to overwhelm the natural resistances that goblins have."


    "We may be able to find fungos dolor in these caves. They are knows to grow in this region. We would need to delve deeper into the caves, however, as they typically only thrive at depths in excess of five-thousand feet."


    "Oh Gods, we have to wander around these caves looking for mushrooms? Can we just leave? The Emperor''s forces can handle a few goblins. Let''s just leave..." the boots spoke in a mild whine.


    I stuffed the dried mushrooms into my rucksack, and spoke the command word to dismiss the ''Magelight''.


    I activated ''Nightcrawler'' and carefully stalked down the fork in the cave the goblins had utilized to ambush me.

 A Restful Stroll

    The tunnel was littered with bones and half-rotted excrement; apparently, the goblins used this area as some sort of storage area for refuse. Another alert flashed to life in the corner of my eye, ¡®Oh Gods, the Smell -5 to perception¡¯. I gagged as a draft drove the smell into me. It felt almost like hitting a physical wall, such was the stench. I placed the shield on my back, securing it to a leather strap kept there for such a purpose. My hand now free, I pinched my nose securely shut, though it hardly helped, as I could actually taste the stench in the foul air, but any relief was better than nothing.


    The book must have been paying attention to the carvings on the wall, as it piped up in a smug know-it-all voice, ¡°Did you know¡ªgoblins are wont to carve records in the walls of their caves? They actually have a fairly complex society despite their generally dull dispositions. Here, we find that the Goblins of this clan have deposited roughly thirty Human corpses, seventeen horses, and over one-hundred vole-like creatures.¡±


    I shushed the book, hissing a hushed reply, ¡°We¡¯re supposed to be quiet, we don¡¯t want to alert any patrols,¡± I glanced at the walls, ¡°Do they really keep records like that? How would you know something like that, anyway?¡±


    ¡°Blood, blood, blood,¡± whispered the sword.


    The book sneered at the sword, ¡°Can you please stop with the chanting? Or at least add some variety to your vernacular? It¡¯s getting quite old,¡± I could feel its attention settling back on me, ¡°One of my owners in times past was Arch-mage Veritas. He was a prominent scholar on Human-like monsters, and an avid researcher on Goblin culture. Most of what we know about their inner workings today is mainly due to his studies.¡±


    I nodded my head, ¡°Well, do you have any information which would help me to kill the Goblins here?¡±


    The book declared pridefully, ¡°Yes, in fact, I do. Goblins have extremely high resistances to dark magik, and a weakness to light magik¡ªthis is mostly owed to the fact that Goblins are either subterranean or deep-forest dwelling creatures. Dark magiks have actually interwoven the essence of Goblinkin as a whole.¡±


    ¡°So, are they inherently evil then?¡± I asked, stepping over what looked to be the skull of a small humanoid. I hoped it wasn¡¯t Human.


    The book ''tsked'' loudly, ¡°Now, now. I thought we¡¯d covered this earlier in our relationship-¡±


    ¡°Remind me,¡± I interjected.


    ¡°Fine, fine. No, Goblinkin and other dark races are not inherently evil. In fact, there was a Dark Elf not more than a hundred years back who allied with a couple humans and a dwarf¡ªthey were considered to be great heroes. They had a large cat which came and went as well.¡±


    ¡°A Dark Elf?¡± I asked, incredulous.


    The sword hissed in distaste, ¡°His people are strong and bloodthirsty. He was a disgrace.¡±


    ¡°Anyway,¡± the book continued, ¡°dark magiks aren¡¯t evil, they are merely a different side to the same coin. Dark magiks are predatory, powerful, and hungry. That being said, does not fire fit the same description? A fire will consume a forest whole, killing every life within, but is it evil?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I whispered, ¡°fire just does what fire does. There is no evil or malicious intent.¡±


    ¡°And so it is with dark magik,¡± concluded the book, ¡°Without the influences of dark magik in the world, very few things would exist. Humans, for one¡ªyou all have at least a sliver of dark-mana in your bodies. You have a sliver of all forms of magik in your vessels.¡±


    ¡°I hate to interrupt the lesson, but there¡¯s something up ahead,¡± whispered the shield.


    It was right; I could just make out a snuffling noise against the backdrop of distant drumming. I cursed the -5 to perception debuff, knowing that I should have noticed the sound earlier. I moved my hand away from my nose, staggering for a moment at the renewed power of the stench. I unclasped the shield, and slowly moved it to my side. I stalked forward, moving inch by interminable inch. Finally, I rounded the slight curve in the cave, and stilled to take in the sight. Three goblins stood next to their own massive tusked boars, each affixed with a rough harness. I began calculating my odds of success¡ªthe goblins would be little trouble, but the boars posed more of an issue. I considered using magic, but I was loath to alert any others to our presence in the cave. I decided to try and incapacitate them with a sleeping gas. I pulled a phial from my rucksack, the thick grey liquid sloshed heavily in the crystal container. I was hesitant to use such a valuable item, but I was pretty sure this could keep me from being killed outright¡­it was a whole gold piece, though¡­still, if I lived, my reward would be worth the expense.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    I sucked in a deep, vile breath of air and threw the bottle directly between the goblins. The bottle clinked against the stone floor¡­and nothing else. It didn¡¯t break. The goblins walked towards the source of the noise, picking the bottle up, making curious sounding grunts. I shrugged my shoulders, and snuck up behind one of the distracted goblins, readying my sword¡ªI could feel the weapon practically vibrating with anticipation. As I came within three paces of the goblin, a thundering sound erupted from where the boars were foraging¡ªone of the beasts was charging right for me.


    I stabbed into the startled goblin¡¯s back; the sword screamed in pleasure, desiccating the goblin almost instantly. Its husk of a body hit the ground with a light thud. The remaining pair of goblins looked on in terror, fleeing from the scene. I decided I''d deal with them later as I turned towards the charging boar; holding my sword before me in a light hand, I kept my weight on the balls of me feet. As the boar was about to strike, I dodged nimbly to the side, slashing across its flank with the sword. The beast roared with pain and thudded heavily against the cave wall. The other two boars had gotten the message and were hot on the heels of the first¡ªI jumped just before they would have leveled me, and pirouetted mid-air, slicing my sword into the nearest beast¡¯s spine. I landed on the ground with a thud, satisfied to see the body of the boar now lying still on the cave floor. The remaining two boars huffed steamy breath, scraping their hooves in preparation for another charge. I swore, realizing that stealth was completely out at this point.


    ¡°Use ¡®Acid Spray¡¯, boy!¡± called the book. I nodded and raised my hand, flicking to the suggested page. The boars began their charge, throwing up chunks of rock as they ran. ¡°Acidum Trabem!¡± I yelled.


    A spray of acid burst out from my hand, coating the boars. Smoke billowed out from their hides where the acid had burned into their flesh as they slammed into the ground, screeching in pain. I ran up to the leftmost boar, deftly slashing across its throat. I didn¡¯t wait to drain the beast of blood, instead hopping over to the second boar, stabbing hard through its arm, and piercing its heart¡ªit died almost instantly. Taking pity on the screaming, bloody mess of the other boar, I severed its spinal cord with a swift chop.


    I stood, panting in exhaustion. Gradually, I walked on unsteady legs over to the goblin I had killed, intent on searching its body. I swore loudly and unimaginatively as I finished rummaging through its belongings.


    ¡°All that fucking effort and the potion is gone anyway?! Son of a bitch!¡± The other two goblins had obviously stolen away with the potion right when the boars attacked.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, master, we will drink the blood of those little thieves,¡± comforted the sword, ¡°Speaking of¡­what are the chances I could finish off those three blood bags we left behind?¡±


    I swore again, stabbing the sword into the nearest boar. The sound of happy slurping echoed loudly through the cave.


    The boars having been drained of blood, I sheathed the sword, who was now snoring lightly in a post-gorging slumber.


    "We need to find that potion, and those goblins. I don''t want to be out an entire gold piece," I said.


    "Plus, we need to track those two down so they don''t warn the others," cautioned the shield, "If they alert their kin, you could be killed."


    "Yeah, that too," I replied.


    I turned and picked up a rapid walk through the cave, keeping an eye out for any signs of the little green thieves.


    ¡°At lease that psychopath of a sword will be quiet for a while¡­but can we please just try and leave? The goblins will know we¡¯re coming, and I don¡¯t want to die¡­¡± moaned the boots.


    ¡°Not if we track them down first," I reminded, "Plus, you¡¯re enchanted gear. I don¡¯t think you can actually be killed, right? Worst case scenario, you¡¯re broken until someone finds you,¡± I said, trying to keep the irritation I felt out of my voice.


    ¡°You try being broken for a whole century or two! It has happened before! I don¡¯t want that!¡±


    ¡°When were you ever broken?¡± sneered the book.


    ¡°Well, not me personally, but I knew a pair of gauntlets who sat broken in an attic for a few decades! You should see the neuroses he developed!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± I chuckled, starting my way back down the tunnel, ¡°it would be terrifying to imagine any of you beingmoreneurotic.¡± I laughed, and to my surprise, the book joined in.


    ¡°Yes, they are quite neurotic aren¡¯t they, Henry? At least they have the two of us to keep them grounded, eh?¡± I smiled sardonically, ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s a miracle we¡¯re both here to be the sane ones.¡±


    Remarkably, the boots joined in on the laughter as well, while the book just seemed puzzled at missing the joke. ¡°What?¡± it asked, ¡°What in the name of all the Gods is so funny?¡± At our failure to stop laughing, it huffed and spoke sullenly, ¡°Ignoramuses like you haven¡¯t the least bit of a sense of humor.¡±


    All save the blade laughed heartily, the sword made tiny snoring sounds, only interrupted by the faint sound of ¡°Blood...blood...blood...¡± on its slumbering voice.


    I picked my way quickly down through the refuse, looking for signs of the goblins'' passing. I noted with some irritation that the debilitating -5 to perception debuff still made it nearly impossible to spot tracks along the ground. I wondered exactly how that worked¡ªhow could a smell impact your ability to spot things? I was so distracted by the terrible smell and thoughts of the debuff that I tripped over something as I walked¡ªthe bodies of two goblins, the very ones I had been hunting down! Next to them was a shattered bottle. I gasped in surprise, and immediately regretted the action. A small notification flashed in the right corner of my vision, ¡®Sleeping potion inhaled, goodnight!¡¯

 The Hobgoblins

    I blinked my eyes open blearily; they were caked with that odd crust you got after a REALLY deep sleep. I could hear snorting and chomping, along with the distinct sound of flesh being torn from bone. I glanced up and to the side and saw my sword laying a few inches away from where my hand rested. Carefully, cautiously, I inched my hand forward to grab the hilt. I paused as I felt something hot and moist on the back of my neck, scenarios and options flashed rapidly through my mind. If I ran, I¡¯d die. If I stayed put, I¡¯d die. If I so much as twitched the wrong way, I¡¯d die¡­I decided to take my chances.


    I whipped my head back and was met by a satisfying crunch; warm blood drenched the back of my head. I pushed myself up and forward, seizing the handle of my blade and swinging with it wildly at the creature which was busy clutching its face and screaming in pain. I took in the sight of the thing in one quick glance¡ªit stood about seven feet tall, and was covered in mangy white fur, now stained red with blood. The creature had fangs like knives and claws like daggers. I had never heard of such a formidable-looking creature.


    ¡°Stop sizing the thing up! Most things die if you cut their fucking heads off! Do that!¡± screamed the sword.


    I obeyed in a rush, surging towards the blood-spattered monster in a mad charge. It batted one of its massive clawed hands at me, but I deflected the strike with a quick flick of my wrist. I was satisfied to feel the sword bite into a claw, severing the finger cleanly. The monster leapt back with one massive surge of its impressively-muscled legs. It stared at me with something I was convinced was intelligence, and fled.


    I held my sword in front of me cautiously, waiting to be sure that the monster had well and truly gone. I wasn¡¯t sure how much time passed, but I knew that it must have been longer than twenty minutes. My arm was cramped and aching, and my adrenaline had finally run its course. My heart still hammered in my chest.


    ¡°Its blood was delicious, I want more. Hunt it down for me and let me drink of its life!¡±


    I shook my head, dropping the sword to my side. ¡°No. I think I may have gotten lucky this time around, it underestimated me because it had already experienced the lack of resistance from the goblins.¡±


    ¡°Probably yes,¡± interjected the book, ¡°the creature was also probably mildly affected by the sleeping potion still present in the blood of the goblins.¡±


    ¡°Speaking of the monster, do you have any idea what that thing was? Was it a werewolf?¡± I hedged. ¡°A werewolf?¡± the book scoffed, ¡°You¡¯ve read too many stories, boy. Of course werewolves don¡¯t exist, they are fairy tales.¡±


    ¡°A fairy tale? What¡¯s that?¡± I asked.


    ¡°A tale propagated by the fae in order to fuel the nightmares present in mortal minds. They harvest these terrors and use them to guard their enchanted woods. Obviously. Did you pay any attention at all to your lessons at the guild? I am disgusted with you.¡±


    I shook my head slowly, ¡°Of course, how could I have forgotten? So, what exactly was this monster then?¡± ¡°I¡­¡± the book''s voice was hesitant, ¡°I don¡¯t really know. It¡¯s possible, I suppose, that it¡¯s a species unique to the mountain?¡±


    ¡°Something the great and wise book doesn¡¯t know? Now this is a surprise,¡± mocked the shield in a singsong voice.


    ¡°Yes, yes. I know my knowledge must seem infinite to the likes of something such as yourself, but alas, I am not all-knowing.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s surprisingly down-to-earth, for a knowledgeable book such as yourself,¡± I said.


    ¡°Surprising only for the uneducated. Knowledge teaches you first and foremost the depths of your ignorance.¡±


    I inspected the bodies of the fallen goblins; they were picked almost clean. Small puddles of blood beneath their bodies served as the only evidence that they had been living creatures just moments before. I shook my head in distaste; if I had been slightly slower to wake, I¡¯d be in the same grim straits as these poor creatures. I looked down at the remnants of my one gold sleeping potion and shook my head. That merchant would be taught a lesson about exactly how resilient a product meant to be thrown should be.


    I shook my head, sheathing the sword at my hip. "We need to press forward. Luckily, nothing survived to reveal our location. Still, we need to be careful."If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    "That monster we faced may still be lurking around, Henry. We should remain vigilant, it''s very possible it will try to hunt you down," the shield cautioned, its voice low and heavy with worry.


    I nodded to myself, "That''s wise. It looked awfully similar to a wolf...it may possess the ability to track us as a wolf might," I started again down the path leading further into the depths of the mountain. Not for the first time, I wondered if I would live to ever again see the sunlight.


    As I crept along, I noticed that the light level was gradually increasing. I came to the point where I could see my surroundings as clearly as if I were under the full moon. The ceiling above me was lit by rivers of softly glowing green crystals.


    "What are those?" I asked, my voice laden with awe.


    "They are luminari crystals," replied the shield.


    I looked down at the shield, surprised. "I have to admit, I expected the book to answer."


    The book seemed genuinely pleased at the shield''s knowledge, "The shield is correct, though I''m not sure how it would know. Luminari crystals are exceedingly rare¡ªyou only find them in small veins, usually in the Dwarven mountains. It''s a shame that Humanity has failed categorically in mining these stones, otherwise this would represent a significant source of income for you."


    I looked away from the glittering display, suddenly aware of something I had been ignoring¡ªa soft breeze from further along the path was clearing the tunnel of the horrid smell I''d been contending with for the last few hours. I felt everything around me suddenly became more crisp, more clear. I now noticed that the crystals above me were in fact a myriad shades of soft blue and green¡ªthe sight was truly incredible. I pulled a journal from my rucksack and jotted down a quick entry to remind me to return to this cave after it was cleared of goblins. This is a sight I knew I''d want to revisit.


    I shook my head, reminding myself that I had a goal; I didn''t have time to dawdle around admiring the lighting. Tucking away my journal, I made the rest of the short journey through the tunnel. I crouched at the exit, peeking my head out cautiously to get a glimpse of what lay ahead. I sucked in a breath at the sight which greeted me¡ªa wall, standing more than seven feet tall. The fortification was made from wood and stone, shockingly well-built for mere goblins. My blood chilled when I considered the implications of the fort¡ªit was very possible that the structure was built by slaves, or possibly by some type of goblin I wasn''t aware of. I retreated back through the cave to discuss options with my gear.


    "What do you think is responsible for building that wall? I have trouble imagining goblins building something even as clever as that."


    Once again, the shield surprised us all by piping up first, "Those walls were built by hobgoblins. They''re a subspecies of goblin possessed of a keener mind than an average green-skin. If they have enough of those on their side, I''m considerably more concerned for your safety."


    My mouth was agape, "How do you know all that about goblins? And how did you know about the crystals earlier?"


    "I, too, am interested in the answer to that question. I know these things based on my extensive experience in academia. How is it you came by such information?" asked the book.


    "I''m allowed to know things. I don''t see why I have to answer to this interrogation. The point is, you''re in more danger than we thought. We have to move very carefully from here."


    The boots spoke in a tremulous voice, "I think we should wait here and take a rest. We could use my stealth ability in combination with muffle to sneak past this fortification, but we need to wait for the abilities to become available again."


    I looked sternly at the shield, "I agree with the boots. And since we seem to have a bit of time to kill, I think we should all hear about where you came by your information."


    "Kill?" asked the sword, perking up.


    "Not that kind of kill, you psychopath," sneered the book.


    "Watch yourself, dictionary¡ªremember that scissors beats paper, I can cut you surely as I cleave flesh," the sword hissed.


    "Shut up, the both of you. We don''t need any bickering right now," I said, silencing them both.


    I walked a short way back through the tunnel, setting alarm wires as I went, carefully following the directions I had purchased in ''Traps for Dummies: Vol II''. These traps, while simple, should be able to alert me in advance of any enemies, and slow them down as well. I pulled out the book and flipped through to a page I had marked out for regular use¡ªthe spell ''Create Camp''. It was a relatively simple spell with a significant material cost of two silver coins per casting. I still considered that to be a bargain when factoring in how much weight it saved me from having to lug around.


    I found a likely spot - a small clearing with a good draft - and cast the spell, "Summone Castra''. I felt my coin-purse grow slightly lighter, and sighed. A campfire appeared, surrounded by several convenient features for a camp such as this: a drying rack for meat, three bedrolls, a cook-pot, and a small basin of potable water. This would be used for drinking water, cleansing water, and of course water for cooking. As always, I was surprised by the cost to my magical reserves; I felt slightly weak and fuzzy headed.


    I sat down next to the fire and set the shield leaning against the water basin. "Now, I think you owe us a story."


    While the shield had no need of breath, it still sounded as if it sucked in a deep lungful of air before reluctantly saying, "Since you don''t seem willing to let this drop, I guess I don''t have a choice in explaining," he paused briefly, "Most assume that I was forged in the deep mountains by the Dwarven folk, but this isn''t the case. I was crafted by hobgoblins, and they used luminari crystal in my construction."