ã€ŠInnocent Vampire Galsã€‹


 Chapter 1

    Innocent Vampire Gals

    1

    My name is Valerie Malone. According to The Sunset Heat, a local newsletter, I''m "The 24 year old, dark haired, sexy part owner, of the Beverly Hills nightclub; ¡®The Peachpit After/Dark¡¯."

    We serve drinks and we have live entertainment on the weekends. On weeknights, 25 year old David Silver is in the D/J booth.

    Around 9 P.M. on a Tuesday night, business was slow. Less than half the tables were occupied. The recorded music blared, but not loud enough to drown out any conversation.

    I was seated at the bar, going over some paperwork, when a guy sat on the stool beside me.

    "Evening Valerie." He spoke with a cheerful cockney accent. "Can I buy you something to drink?"

    He was Spike; a mean looking dude in his late 20s, wearing a black leather jacket. He had a firm build and curly, light colored hair. He''d been showing up almost every night for the past two weeks, with a ditzy blonde chic named Harmony. She also had a mean look to her, but neither of them had caused any trouble. Tonight he was alone.

    "Thank you Spike." I told him, "Maybe you haven''t heard, but I''m part owner of the Club. I''m the one who buys drinks for customers. Not the other way around."

    "Then I''ll have my usual."

    I said, "That was slick, but you''re the one who has to pay for the drinks first."

    Then I asked, "So where''s your girlfriend, what''s her name? Harmony?"

    "She''s on ice."

    "''On ice''?" I said scornfully, "You mean you haven''t broken up with her, but you''re now on the prowl?"

    "That''s partly correct."

    "What part?"

    "When I said ''She''s on ice'', I meant that literally. Right now she''s hanging upside down and naked, inside a freezer, with the lights off."

    I laughed. "If that''s what dating you leads to, forget it. I don''t mind a little bit kinky, but risking death..."

    "That wasn''t a joke Val."

    "Yeah. Right."

    "You see, our employer doesn''t take any lip from any of their employees."

    "Don''t you think that''s kind of excessive? Every now and then I have to give somebody a good talking to, and that''s enough."

    "I said I wasn¡¯t joking. We are employed by the Legal Department of Wolfram and Hart. Our employer enforces Company rules, in a way that we employees never forget."

    I said, "Legal Department? You don''t look like a lawyer to me; and Harmony just doesn''t seem like someone who could pass any kind of a bar exam."

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    "Harmony and I aren''t lawyers." He told me, "She and I enforce company policy, in a way that our clients never forget."

    I said, "Enforcers?"

    He said, "Wolfram and Hart wants me to explain Company policy to you Ms. Malone, in a way you''ll never forget."

    I looked at Spike''s face. That night he looked more than mean. He looked dangerous.

    I told him, "You get out of here right now, or I''ll call the police."

    "Go ahead." He told me, "I''m sure they''ll be interested to learn about the time, when you pretended to be pregnant by a married man who you had a fling with. You then got him to pay for a fake abortion, along with hush money. The law calls that fraud and blackmail, for which you can do an unhealthy amount of jail time."

    I told him, "You can''t prove that."

    "Wolfram and Hart can, along with providing evidence of your involvement in a murder."

    "Murder?"

    "Maybe more than one."

    "What''s this all about?"

    "We know for a fact, that you allow gambling and drug dealing inside this club, with you getting a percentage of every transaction."

    "Oh I see." I said, "And your employer wants a percentage too."

    "Meet me outside in the parking lot in 15 minutes," he said, "and be sure you come alone."

    15 minutes later I was out in the parking lot, with a loaded pistol in my handbag. Spike stood beside a car, at the dark end of the parking lot furthest from the street. I came over to him.

    He opened the front door on the passenger side, and told me, "Get in."

    "Forget it Mr. Tough Guy. I''m not getting in a car with you."

    "All right cautious lady." He shut the door. "Stand there."

    "Good enough." I told him. "Now tell me, what''s the deal?"

    "You''re a very bad girl Valerie." He said, "I come from Sunnydale, which is full of very bad girls."

    "Sunnydale? Vampire Town?"

    "Now you¡¯ve probably heard the saying, ¡®If you¡¯re a bad girl, the ¡®something¡¯ will eat you¡¯; and do you know what happens to very bad girls in Sunnydale?"

    "I''ve heard that the ¡®something¡¯ that kills and eats them is vampires."

    He said, "Exactly."

    Suddenly his arms were around me. He pulled me up against himself, and put his cold mouth against my neck. He had a pair of sharp, heavy fangs, which he stabbed inside my neck.

    Then my mind vanished.

 Chapter 2

    Chapter

    2

    I opened my eyes. I was stretched out lengthwise, across the backseat of a moving car. My dress was a wrinkled mess. Its skirt was pushed up around my hips, and my legs were spread wide. It was still dark outside the windows.

    I began to groan. I was in pain, from the top of my head, to the tips of my toes, and everything in between. I had the hangover from Hell; and I mean that literally.

    I heard a woman speak, from the front passenger seat. "She''s awake, Spike."

    I mumbled, "Repent you sinners."

    I slipped off the back seat, onto the floor, and grunted loudly. Then I put my hand on the seat, and began to pull myself up. I was feeling great pain. I also felt very groggy and nauseous, like I was about to throw up.

    I said, "Stop the car! I''m about to puke!"

    The car pulled to the side and stopped. I fell back. My head rested against the left rear door. The door opened. I turned myself over, poked my head outside, and everything in my stomach came barfing out.

    Then the door shut and we were moving again. I got up to a sitting position in the back seat. I smoothed out my dress so my skirt covered my legs to its full length. Spike was driving. Blonde Harmony sat beside him. I was still groggy and in pain. Now I also felt hungry.

    I muttered. "I''m hungry. I want to kill somebody. Drink his blood."

    Harmony turned around. She said, "I know how you feel Val, but we can''t allow that."

    She handed me an open thermos and said, "Here''s some of the good stuff. Have some of your own back."

    "Some of my own?" I put the mouth of the thermos under my nose, and smelled the warmed up liquid inside. "My own blood?"

    "That''s right." She told me. "We can''t have a brand new vampire going off the deep end, and biting the first live person she sees. Once we get to where we''re going, there''ll be enough pigs'' blood to fill you up. Then you''ll be able to control your bloodlust."

    I poured the contents out of the thermos into its lid-cup, and gulped it all down. I drank down several cups of my own blood. Then I no longer felt hungry, or groggy. My mind cleared.

    I repeated, "Once we get to where we''re going? Where are we going?"

    Now Spike spoke. "Wolfram and Hart Headquarters Val. That''s where everything''ll be explained to you."

    I looked out the window. We were driving through the dark, almost deserted streets of downtown L.A. According to the dashboard clock, the time was 2:37 AM.

    I looked myself over. My maroon colored dress was wrinkled from top to bottom, and the skirt had a large dark stain down the front.

    "Spike!" I asked, "Did you rape me?"

    He said nothing. He and Harmony faced straight ahead.

    I repeated, "Did you?"

    He didn''t turn his head. "You can''t rape a dead woman."

    Then I asked, with a very hoarse voice, ¡°What''d you fuck a corpse?"

    Harmony called out, "Hey Val! Watch your mouth!"

    "Well what did he do, after he killed me?"

    Now Spike said, "I''m not a rapist Val. I''m a seducer."

    "Yeah--right!" I spoke with scorn. "You''re a real Mr. Charm, aren''t you?"

    We arrived at Wolfram and Hart Headquarters. Spike parked in the Company''s basement garage. Then he, Harmony and I took the elevator up to the 38th floor.

    Inside the elevator, there was a full-length mirror to the right. I looked at it, and saw my dress all wrinkled. Its skirt was stained with blood and semen. My hair was also a mess.

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    "Spike." I said, "Whatever you call it, I have been ravished."

    He said nothing. Neither did Harmony. I didn''t see either of their reflections in the mirror.

    When we reached the 38th floor, Harmony escorted me to a ladies room, where I cleaned myself up as best I could. I fixed my hair as neat as I could. Then Harmony went outside, and came back in a few minutes, with a clean yellow dress that was just about my size. My overall appearance was barely presentable.

    I said, "I can see my reflection in the mirror, but I can''t see yours, and I couldn''t see Spike''s."

    "That''s how it is with us vampires." She said, "No one''s ever been able to figure out why."

    Then we went back out into the corridor, where Spike was waiting. He and Harmony escorted me to a small office.

    Inside the office, a guy in a suit, in his late twenties, sat behind a desk with his back to a window, overlooking the lights of the City. I¡¯d seen him at the Club a few times. This night in his office, he was alive, with blood flowing through his veins.

    If Harmony hadn''t given me that blood to drink, it would have been impossible for me not to bite him, and suck out his blood, ''til he died. Now I had my bloodlust under control, but I just couldn''t help looking hungrily at his very appetizing neck, and licking the tips of my brand new fangs.

    "How do you do Miss Malone." He said, "My name is Lindsey McDonald. I see that you are now a vampire."

    "Yeah!" I snapped, "Thanks to Spike! He killed me, and I went straight to Hell! Then he, or maybe Harmony, had some kind of kinky sex with my corpse."

    "Me?" Harmony laughed. "What do think, I''m some kind of weirdo lesbo necrophile? Even if I was, how could I have spurted semen all over you?"

    Lindsey McDonald asked, "You went to Hell?"

    "That''s right." I told him, "I was killed by a vampire, and I went straight to Hell. I''ve been a very bad girl, who''s done very bad things; and very bad girls who do very bad things, really do go to Hell. We go directly to Hell. We do not pass ''Go''. We do not collect $200; so repent you sinners."

    Mr. McDonald chuckled. Then he said, "Repentance is not encouraged at Wolfram and Hart, Miss Malone."

    "That''s obvious." I said, "It''s also obvious that I was more than just Spike''s evening meal and kinky toy. If that''s all I was, I wouldn''t be here. I might not even be undead. Now what the hell do you people want?"

    "We want your cooperation Miss Malone. We know all about the unlawful goings on at your place of business. It''s very profitable, but very risky. Wolfram and Hart would like to eliminate the risk."

    "I see." I said, "You want us to pay you to protect our patrons and employees from people like Spike; so what happened to me won''t happen to any of them."

    "Exactly, and don''t forget the Police. You don''t want trouble with them either do you?"

    "Okay Mr. McDonald." I said, "Let''s get to the point. How much do you want?"

    Harmony laughed, "How much do you got?"

    I said, "Fuck that!"

    "Relax Miss Malone." The man behind the desk said, "Harmony''s joking. I''m sure that something reasonable can be worked out between you and Wolfram and Hart"

    "Oh I''m ready to be reasonable," I told him "but I''m not the only one you''ll have to deal with. I have a partner. Dylan McKay."

    Lindsey McDonald said, "Dylan McKay? Son of the late Jack McKay; and heir to who knows how many secret overseas bank accounts?"

    "That''s him." I told them, "And a much bigger payoff, than you''d ever get out of my share from the After/Dark nightclub."

    Harmony asked, "How big?"

    "Big enough," I told them, "for each of us to live comfortably, for as long as we remain undead."

 Chapter 3

    3

    Three nights later, I entered the After/Dark Nightclub, about a half-hour after sunset, carrying a six pack of bottled pigs'' blood in a brown paper shopping bag. There were only a handful of customers, all seated at the bar.

    David Silver was setting things up in the D/J booth. He looked at me angrily. I figured that was because I''d been away for three days, and been unable to send any messages to anybody. I waved at him. He shook his head and returned to work.

    At that hour, only one waitress was on duty. She looked at me uneasily, and greeted me without smiling. "Good evening Miss Malone."

    I figured she was angry with me too, for the same reason as David.

    "Hi Yolanda." I said, thinking that the sexy Mexican Girl''s neck was very appetizing, and I''d have just loved to try out my new fangs on her; but I had no trouble restraining myself.

    I''ve got my bloodlust under control, I thought. Nobody I know has to find out I''m a vampire.

    I went into my office in the back, and shut the door. I put the pint bottles of blood in a knee-high fridge that I keep in one corner. Then I locked the fridge. Harmony had got the six-pack for me. She said it was pigs'' blood. I decided to take her word on that. She also said that if I warmed up one pint a week, in my office''s microwave, I could survive on that. I hoped so.

    On the other hand, Yolanda did have a very appetizing neck. Come to think of it, so did my D.J. David, along with a few of his closest friends, including David¡¯s girlfriend Donna Martin, along with Brandon Walsh, and most especially Brandon Walsh¡¯s fianc¨¦e, who was also David¡¯s step-sister, Miss Kelly Taylor.

    I sat behind my desk and thought, Kelly Taylor? Hmmm? Ahhh!

    No! Forget it! I''d just spent the last three days, learning how to handle the urge to kill people and drink their blood. I''d also learned when and where to go hunting. Harmony had told me of certain places in Mexico, where vampires can go to safely satisfy their bloodlust; so while Yolanda''s neck would be safe from my fangs, I''d still have a good number of Mexican necks to choose from.

    What I didn''t have, was any idea of how to get Dylan McKay to pay protection money to Wolfram and Hart

    I also had no idea of where Dylan McKay was. The last time that any of us had heard about him was six months earlier. Brandon Walsh had received a letter from his sister Brenda. She''d said that Dylan, the true love of her life, was with her in London. He''d stayed with her about two months. After that none of us had heard anything from or about him.

    I''d told Harmony about him. She and I had been seated in the Wolfram and Hart Cafeteria, having a lunch of warmed up blood, in porcelain mugs. She''d said we were drinking "The good stuff."

    That was when I''d told her, "Dylan''s spent an average of two months with every girlfriend he''s ever had. Before he was with Brandon¡¯s sister, he spent two months dating her best friend, a bitch named Kelly Taylor, who is now dating Brandon."

    Harmony laughed and shook her head. "I don''t believe it. Haven''t any of you ever heard of ''Stand by your man''?"

    I told her, "That''s how it usually is, among me and my Sunset Strip friends. It''s hard to keep track of who''s fucking who. Kelly Taylor, Dylan McKay and all the others all seem to have an endless number of partners, who they ditch after two months or so; like it''s some kind of game."

    Harmony the vampire said, "That''s a very cruel game. When I kill someone I''m quick, so my victims don''t suffer for long. Don''t you have any friends who aren''t crueler than me?"

    "Oh yes. David¡¯s girlfriend Donna Martin is a very nice girl. She doesn''t want to play games; but she''s always ending up with those same kind of Sunset Strip type guys, who aren''t capable of any long lasting relationship.

    "You know what I''m thinking Harmony? I''m thinking that if I ever do become a practicing vampire, I can benefit the entire community, by killing them off. If I did, Donna''s the only one I wouldn''t bite. No. She''s the one who I''d kill first, and then bring her back as a ¡®Very nice girl¡¯ vampire.

    ¡°Then she and I can take turns at killing Kelly Taylor, Dylan McKay, along with the rest; and not bring any of them back. All of L.A. would be better off."

    Harmony said, "Forget that! Here in L.A. a novice like you shouldn''t bite anyone, until you know who the people you should watch out for are."

    I''d said, "Then tell me who they are."

    She''d said, "The Police obviously. There are also some street gangs that hunt vampires, and mostly there''s the Angel Investigations Agency."

    She''d told me that, while I was still at Wolfram and Hart Headquarters.

    Now back at the After/Dark Nightclub, there was a knock on my office door.

    I called out, "Come on in!"

    David Silver entered the office. He looked angry, and he was also very distressed.

    He spoke sharply. "Where the hell''ve you been Val?"

    I said, "Nice to see you too David."

    He shouted, "Where were you?"

    I told him, "I became a Vampire on Tuesday night; and I''ve just spent the last three days, learning to control my bloodlust; so I won''t kill you, for talking to me like that!"

    "Why are you joking about it Valerie? That''s really sick!"

    I asked, "What''s the matter?"

    "Oh. You haven''t heard?"

    "Heard what?"

    "It''s Kelly. She''s dead."

    "Kelly?"

    "They found her body this morning, in the backseat of her car, right outside in the parking lot. My step-sister, Kelly Taylor, was killed last night, by a vampire."

    Talk about mixed emotions.

    I made sure that my fangs were very firmly retracted.

    Then I said, "Oh David! That''s awful! A vampire? I apologize for the joke. I swear I didn''t know."

    "The police said they found a pair of deep bite marks in her neck, and she was drained of blood. They want to talk to you Val."

    "Me? Why? I¡¯ve been away."

    "Just routine questioning. Just in case you''ve seen anyone around here who''s been acting suspicious. They told me that known vampires have been seen hanging out here. You know Spike, that guy in the leather jacket, and his girlfriend Harmony?"

    I said, "They''re Vampires?" Then I asked, "How do they know that? Who identified them?"

    "An employee of a security agency; Angel Investigations. One of their people was here today. He said they know how to deal with vampires. He also said that in case we''d like their help, you should contact them. He left their card."

    David reached in his shirt pocket, took out a business card and handed it to me. The card had a picture of a hand firmly gripping a sharp wooden stake, beside the name ¡°Angel Investigations¡±, along with the Agency¡¯s address and phone number.

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    I said, "''In case we need help''? Now he tells us? They knew that vampires were in here, but they didn''t say anything, ''til after Kelly was dead? If they want us to hire them forget it. I''m sure I can get help from another Agency that''s actually competent."

    I picked up a telephone book on my desk, and leafed through it until I came to Security Agencies. There must have been hundreds listed.

    I slapped the book shut.

    I said, "I don''t know what I''m looking for David."

    He told me, "They asked me to call as soon as you came in. Like it or not, someone from the Angel Investigations Agency is on his way here right now, so he can talk to you."

    David went out the door, leaving me seated alone at my office desk. He came back immediately.

    "Spike and Harmony are here." He said, "Do you want to call the police?"

    I told him, "No. Let me see if I can talk to them first. I don''t want police cars outside two nights in a row. It''ll be bad for business."

    I got up from behind my desk, walked past David, went through the doorway and out into the Club.

    It was still early. The customers were few. Yolanda stood beside the bar, speaking softly in Spanish to Jorge the bartender. They were nervously watching Spike and Harmony, who were seated in a booth. Both vampires had martinis in front of them.

    I came over to the booth.

    I spoke softly. "You two shouldn''t be here."

    Spike said, "Good evening to you too Valerie."

    "Listen." I told them, "Do you remember, I told you about Kelly Taylor?"

    Harmony said, "Yeah. ''The big blonde bitch''."

    I made a hushing sound.

    "Don''t say that." I told Harmony. "She was killed last night. Right outside in the parking lot; by a vampire.¡±

    Harmony smiled. She whispered. "Well hooray for you girl. Your very first kill."

    "No. Don''t say that. Someone from the Angel Investigations Agency identified both of you to the police. They could be on their way here right now."

    Spike said, "Someone from the Angel Investigations Agency is here ahead of them."

    He looked toward the bar and said, "Cordelia."

    Harmony also said, "Cordelia." in unison with him.

    A black haired woman around my age was seated at the bar, dressed in a stylish white business outfit. She had a matching handbag set down beside her glass of red wine. She''d been in the Club a few times before, escorted by a stylishly dressed gentleman. Tonight she was alone.

    When Spike and Harmony spoke the name; the woman turned and looked in our direction. Then she got up off the stool and came over to us. As she approached us, she reached inside her zipped open handbag, and kept her hand there.

    Spike and Harmony both got tense. I hoped they wouldn''t display their fangs.

    The woman came up to the table.

    Harmony said, "Hi Cordelia. How''re things going with you and the Angel Investigations Agency?"

    She said, "Good evening Harmony, Spike, and hello...I don''t know your name."

    "I''m Valerie Malone." I told her, "I''m the manager here, and I don''t want any trouble."

    "Nobody ever does," said Cordelia, "but you had plenty last night. A Miss Kelly Taylor was killed by a vampire, who was probably one of you three."

    "Us three?" I said, "I''m not a vampire."

    "I come from Sunnydale Miss Malone, just like Harmony; who was a friend of mine when she was alive. I am also a friend of the Vampire Slayer herself. When I attended Sunnydale High¡­¡±

    Harmony spoke, ¡°You were known as the skankiest ho in the senior class.¡±

    Cordelia said, ¡°As I was saying, when I attended Sunnydale High, I was part of the Vampire Slayer''s team; so I know a vampire when I see one."

    Spike said, "Well you''re not seeing the killer of Kelly Taylor sitting here. All of us''ve only been drinking pigs¡¯ blood."

    Harmony said, "That''s all I''ve had. How about you Val?"

    I looked Cordelia straight in the eye and said, "I didn''t kill Kelly Taylor."

    She asked me, "Did you vamp her?"

    "I said I didn''t!"

    "If she was vamped," Cordelia said, "then when she comes back undead, she''ll be able to tell us who her killer was."

    I told her, "I said I don''t want trouble Cordelia. Now I''m asking you to leave."

    "Very well Miss Malone. I''ll be leaving now; but like the former Governor of our great State has said, ''Ahl be bahk'', and I won''t be alone."

    I told her, "Neither will we. Hasta la vista, behbeh."

    ¡°And by the way Harmony.¡± The woman told her former classmate, ¡°I was never the ¡®Skankiest¡¯ ho in Sunnydale High,¡± she smirked, ¡°but I was the best.¡±

    Cordelia turned around and went out the door.

    Now Spike said, "Did you vamp her Valerie? Will she be able to I.D you?"

    "No." I repeated, "I didn''t kill Kelly Taylor."

    He asked, "Do you have any idea who did?"

    "Wasn''t it either of you?"

    Harmony asked, "Why would we? I know you couldn''t stand her, but what motive would we have?"

    I said, "I told you that Kelly Taylor was the other great love of Dylan McKay''s life. By killing her, you''ve made certain that he''ll return to L.A."

    "Good idea." She said, "I wish I''d thought of that. You''re gonna make one really good vampire Val."

    The door opened, and Steve Sanders, another friend of David entered. He was around my age. Tonight he looked grim. He came over to me.

    "Hi Valerie." He said, "It really sucks about Kelly, doesn''t it?"

    I heard Harmony snicker.

    "Hi Steve." I said, "Don''t say ''suck''. David might think it''s a vampire joke, and he''s in an irrational rage."

    Steve said, "Who isn''t?"

    I asked, "Has anyone heard from Dylan McKay?"

    "Yeah. Brandon Walsh got an E-mail from Brenda this morning. She said that she and Dylan would be taking the next flight. We''ll probably see them both in the morning."

    I said, "So they''re together again?"

    "I don''t know. All I know is what I told you. That''s what Brandon told me."

    Steve went over to the Bar, where he joined David, who was speaking with Jorge and Yolanda. They all turned and looked at me, Spike and Harmony.

    Spike said, "Val''s right Harmony. Time for us to split."

    My two new vampire friends got up and went out the door fast.

    David and Steve hurried over to me.

    David said, "What''d you do? You let them go?"

    I said, "What do you mean, ''Let them go''? What was I supposed to do? Arrest them? I''m not a cop. I told them I don''t want any more trouble here. They said they didn''t either; and now there won''t be."

 Chapter 4

    Chapter

    4

    About a half-hour later, I was back in my office, catching up on some paperwork at my desk, when there was another knock on my door.

    I called out, "Come in!"

    A guy entered my office. He was in his forties. He wore a rumpled, unbuttoned, light brown raincoat, and smoked a cigar. He seemed to be cross-eyed, and he walked stooped forward.

    "Good evening Miss Malone." He said, "My name''s Lieutenant Columbo. I''m with the Police."

    I said, "Good evening Lieutenant."

    "I have to ask you a few questions, about the unfortunate vampire killing, of a Miss Kelly Taylor that took place outside of here last night."

    I said, "Please be seated Lieutenant."

    He sat beside the desk, in a chair to my left, and put the cigar in an ashtray. Then he took out a writing pad and a pen.

    I told him, "I''m sorry I can''t help you Lieutenant, but I wasn''t here last night. I was away for three days, and I didn''t return until about an hour ago. That was the first time I heard about Kelly."

    He started scribbling notes in the pad.

    He said, "Now that''s what I have to clear up Miss Malone. Excuse me, but where were you, and what were you doing, these past three days?"

    I looked straight at him and said, "I was in Mexico Lieutenant. I was with a guy, having a fling."

    He scribbled again.

    "A fling in Mexico?"

    "That''s right. We were in Puerto Vallarta. We stayed at the Hotel Playa Los Arcos. We did not sign our real names."

    He scribbled something every time I spoke.

    "What was his real name?"

    "He didn''t say. He said I should call him Spike."

    "Spike? Excuse me Miss Malone, but a vampire named Spike is suspected in the killing of Miss Taylor."

    "We''ll he obviously couldn''t have been the one I was with, could he?"

    The Lieutenant said, "The one we''re interested in, was in here before, and you were seen talking to him."

    "He''s the one who was with me in Mexico. I had sexual relations with him; and from what I''ve heard, when a male vampire becomes sexually aroused, his fangs become extended along with his..."

    "That''s'' what I''ve heard too."

    "So if he''d been a vampire, I wouldn''t have got up from that bed alive;" I chuckled, "but what a way to go."

    He said, "This is all very interesting Miss Malone; but do you have any idea where I can contact this Spike, so I can verify your story?"

    "Yes Lieutenant. He said he works at Wolfram and Hart Corporation Headquarters."

    "Wolfram and Hart? Very well Miss Malone. Thank you for your help."

    He put the writing pad and pen back in his pocket.

    "Always glad to help L.A.''s finest."

    Lieutenant Columbo picked up his cigar from the ashtray. He stood up, and headed to the door. Then he halted, and turned around.

    "Oh by the way Miss Malone. Just one more thing, before I forget. You said that when you checked into this Hotel Playa Los Arcos, you didn''t use your real names. What names did you use?"

    "I said my name was Kelly Taylor. He gave his name as Dylan McKay. That was supposed to be a harmless joke. Ironic isn''t it?"

    "Yes." the detective nodded. "Tragically ironic."

    Then he was gone.

    Around midnight, the Club was as crowded as you''d expect, on a Friday night. David was in the D/J Booth, playing the usual music. He''d hardly said a word over the P.A. Donna was beside him. She was the one trying to cheer everybody up, doing most of the spiel that night herself. Steve and Brandon were at a table. Neither of them had much to say either.

    I didn''t know if any undercover cops were in the Club that night; but the bookies and the dealers had enough sense not show up.

    David, Donna, Steve and Brandon had each asked me where I''d been the last three days. I told them the same thing I''d told the Lieutenant. "I was in Puerto Vallarta Mexico, getting laid. Just a fling. Getting my rocks off."

    They didn''t ask me anything further.

    I was seated alone at a cocktail table, when I saw Dylan approaching me through the crowd. Brenda was with him. The two of them came up to me. I stood up.

    "Oh Dylan!" I sobbed, "Brenda! This is so awful!"

    I hugged Dylan, making sobbing sounds. Then I felt my fangs becoming extended. I let go of him quick, retracting my fangs, before anyone in the dimly lit Club noticed.

    Now Brandon and Steve were beside us. They greeted the other two.

    Brandon said, "I didn''t think you''d get here this soon."

    Dylan said, "What do you mean ''this soon''? We''ve been driving ever since Brenda told me about your e-mail."

    "Driving?" Steve said, "From London?"

    "No Steve." Brenda spoke with annoyance. "We weren''t still in London. We were in Mexico. Puerto Vallarta."

    Brandon and Steve both looked at me.

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    I said, "You were there too? So was I. What Hotel did you stay at?"

    She said, "Hotel Playa Los Arcos."

    I said, "I was at the Garza Blanca." That''s about five miles south of the Playa Los Arcos. "I was with a guy."

    Brandon told me, "You don''t have to say more Val."

    We spent the next hour or so catching up; engaging in small talk. David and Donna joined us. Everyone was reluctant to say anything about Kelly.

    David informed Dylan and Brenda, "Our parents are taking care of the funeral arrangements."

    We said no more about it that night.

    Around 1:30 everyone decided that it was time to go. I was wide-awake. I told them I had to stay ''til closing.

    Brandon said, "Then we''ll see you at home, Val."

    Then I spoke, "Before you go Dylan, there are some things about the business that I have to discuss with you. There are some people, who we''ll have to meet with here, tomorrow night."

    He said, "Can''t you postpone it ''til after the funeral Valerie?"

    "I can, but I don''t know if you''ll still be around."

    He shrugged in his usual condescending way.

    I spoke sharply. "You are my business partner Dylan! Whether you like it or not, Mr. Spoiled Rich Guy, you do have to occasionally show some interest!"

    Dylan suddenly looked startled; so did Brenda, as did everyone else around the table. They were all staring at me, looking very distressed.

    I said, "What''s the matter?"

    "Valerie." Steve told me, "You''ve got fangs. You''re a vampire."

    I said, "I''m not the one who killed Kelly! Wait for her to become undead. Then she''ll tell you who really killed her, and that it wasn''t me."

    The others all stood up and backed away from the table.

    I stood up and shouted, "I didn''t kill Kelly!"

    I rushed away from the table, made my way through the crowd, went into my office, and locked the door behind me.

    I can''t stay in here, I thought. My friends might be calling the police right now. I might be in a jail cell when the sun rises in a few hours. If the sunlight shines into my cell, I''ll burn up into cinders, and go back to Hell. This time I''ll be there to stay!

    Or my friends might not wait for Kelly to revive. They might arrange for some Slayer to ram a stake through my heart, just to keep me from killing anybody.

    I picked up my handbag, grabbed my jacket out of the closet, unlocked my office door, and stepped back out into the Club. Out on the floor, things were just as raucous as ever. My friends were still standing beside the table. They saw me, and I ran out the front door.

    I heard Brandon call out, "Valerie! Come back! We have to talk!"

    I rushed across the parking lot, got into my car and drove off.

    "Talk"? Yeah--right. If you define the word "talk", as ramming a sharp wooden stake through my heart.

    I have to get home and pack, I thought, and be on the road out of L.A. before dawn gives me the rosy finger.

    Get home? I wondered. I''ve been living at the Walsh house. Now that I''m a vampire, is it still my home? "The one place, where they have to let you in, no matter what"?

    If I can no longer just walk in, I''d have to wait for Brandon or Brenda to show up and invite me in.

    I thought, I have no place to go!

    On the other hand, Brandon had said, "...see you at home, Val." That was an invitation, wasn''t it?

    What if they show up, while I''m still packing? What if the Police show up? What if Kelly doesn''t revive?

    Forget the "What ifs". I''ll just have to pack my bags and be gone quick. What if I''m not quick enough? No! Forget the what ifs.

    As I neared the Walsh house, a police car drove past me, with its lights flashing.

    Forget about packing my bags.

    I made a turn at the next corner, and headed for the nearest freeway.

    I have to find a place where I can be safely indoors, before the sun rises, and stay there until sunset. Any cheap motel will do. They take cash. No questions asked, but would any of them have vacancies? At 1:45 on a Saturday morning? Forget about L.A. I should leave the City now. Leave for where? Where can I be indoors, before the sun rises in five hours?

    In five hours, my picture''s gonna be shown on every morning news broadcast in southern California. If there''s a reward, what desk clerk at any motel, wouldn''t be more than glad to cooperate with the Police?

    A motel clerk in Sunnydale?

    Right! I am a vampire on the run, and what better place to find refuge, than Vampire Town itself; and it''s only a two hour drive from L.A. My stay there won''t have to be permanent. Once Kelly becomes undead, she''ll identify her real killer. Then, as long as I haven''t killed anyone, I can work things out with everybody back in L.A.

    And I won''t have any reason to kill anyone, as long as I have those...

    I forgot to take the six pack of pigs'' blood, out of the fridge in my office in the AfterDark.

 Chapter 5

    Chapter

    5

    Don''t'' panic. I thought, Just keep driving.

    I kept driving. I got on the freeway, and was out of the City and on my way to Sunnydale, faster than I ever imagined. The best time to go anywhere on any freeway is at 2 in the morning. There''s very little traffic then.

    I reached the outskirts of Sunnydale, around 4 in the morning. I had another two and a half-hours to get safely inside, before sunrise. I drove along the two-lane highway, past the Sunnydale Motor Lodge. Its bright yellow "We Have Vacancies" sign was lit. I would have checked in then, but I was hungry, and I had to have some bottled blood to drink first. I drove on further.

    I passed the Doublemeat Palace, which was closed and dark, and drove on into Sunnydale itself. All the establishments along Main Street were closed and dark. I saw no pedestrians.

    Harmony had given me a copy of the Vampire''s Handbook, which had a long list of establishments, which cater to the undead. There were many in Sunnydale. Following the Handbook''s instructions, I came to the intersection of Main Street and Whedon Street, turned right and drove on two blocks, until I came to a small flashing red neon sign saying "Willy''s Place." I parked, and went inside.

    Willy''s place was a dive. A few thuggish looking characters were seated on the barstools. When I stepped inside, they all gave me an appraising look. I wondered if they were going to pounce. Then I displayed my fangs, and they lost all interest. I wasn''t sure whether to be relieved or insulted.

    I sat on one of the barstools, putting two empty seats between me and the closest customer to my right.

    The guy behind the bar wore a nametag identifying him as "Willy".

    He asked, "What''re you having Miss?"

    "You do serve blood, don''t you?"

    He asked, "Pig or human?"

    "I''m new at being a vampire." I told him. "I don''t want to have anything to do, with anybody''s killing; so I''ll have pigs blood."

    "Right away Miss."

    He gave me a large mug of warmed up blood.

    The fellow two seats to my right said, "What do you mean you don''t want to kill anybody? Sure you do. You''re a vampire."

    I told him, "I''m a vampire who owns a nightclub in L.A., and I want to avoid losing it all."

    "Good enough."

    Willy asked, "What nightclub is that?"

    "The AfterDark. It''s in Beverly Hills. We have live entertainment on the weekends."

    "Yeah. I''ve heard of it." He chuckled, "But the Beverly Hills nightclub scene is way beyond my means. For entertainment here, that''s it."

    He pointed to a TV up on a shelf, at the end of the bar. The TV was tuned to what appeared to be a girls'' volleyball game; but the girls had horns, and they were knocking another horned woman''s head back and forth over the net, while dressed in only their sneakers.

    Willy said, "That''s the Demon Network, Channel 666. Wide World of Hellish Sports. Bet you don''t have entertainment like that, at your establishment."

    "No we don''t." I admitted, "But we do have a giant screen TV. Just tell me how to arrange for a closed circuit hookup. With live broadcasts of gory nudie sport flicks, I''m sure that the After/Dark would be packed."

    Another woman was seated at the bar. She was around my age, and dressed like me in a tight dress, with a short skirt. She appeared to be very comfortable, seated among the thuggish customers.

    "For that," She told me, "you don''t want these girlie games. You''ll want the Annual Sacrifices to the Demon Beelzebub. My name''s Anyanka Jenkins, I run the Magic Box, just a few blocks from here on Main Street. I''ve got tapes of last year''s events if you''d like to buy one, to see what you''d be getting. We''ve got a whole shelf full of them."

    "Sure. I never book any entertainers without an audition."

    "Good idea." She told me, "You''d better make sure that your customers can handle it. It''s definitely not meant to be viewed by your usual Sunset Strip wussies."

    I repeated "''Wussies''?"

    They guys at the bar chuckled.

    "I tell you gal," the woman said, "this entire Dimension is dying from Wussyism. There''s this big Holiday Game coming up; the ''Gladiators'' versus the ''Warriors''. Everyone says they''re gonna ''massacre'' each other. But guess what? They''re not real gladiators or real warriors. Those are the just the names of football teams; and when they call it a ''massacre'', it''s just a figure of speech. Nobody''s going to die! What''s the point of having a holiday, if nobody''s gonna die?"

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    I said. "Good question."

    "Now I remember" she reminisced, "back in the Demon Realm, when I attended ole'' Beelzebub High. All our team sports were genuine massacres; and everyone who got killed, had his or her head impaled on a stake. I fought on the girl''s squad of the Gladiator Team. I killed more than a dozen opponents. I got killed myself, and my own head was impaled on stakes, four times. Then the next day, our headless bodies stood up, walked over to the stakes, picked up our heads, and put them back on."

    I stayed a Willy''s about a half-hour. Then I left and drove back to the edge of town. I managed to get a room at the Sunnydale Motor Lodge. When the sun rose that morning, I would be safely inside my room, with the blinds drawn.

    At 5 AM, I turned on the room''s TV. It also had access to the Demon Network, but I switched to the Early Morning News from L.A. Just as I''d expected, my picture was being shown, and I was described as "Suspected in the vampire killing of Miss Kelly Taylor, the night before last, outside the AfterDark Nightclub in Beverly Hills, which is owned by Miss Malone."

    The reporter also stated, "In a surprising development, a reward of $100,000, for information leading to the apprehension of Miss Malone, is being posted by her own business partner, Mr. Dylan McKay. Mr. McKay is reported to have been romantically involved with the late Miss Kelly Taylor."

    I thought $100,000? Maybe I should turn myself in and collect the reward. Then when Kelly revives undead, she''ll tell everyone who killed her. I''ll be off the hook and $100,000 richer. Then I can get my life back to normal or as close to normal as possible.

    On the other hand, if Dylan doesn''t want the AfterDark to have any involvement with the demon world, I can always look into investing, in this local nightclub called the Bronze.

    Then the Anchorman said, "This just in. The body of Miss Kelly Taylor has reportedly disappeared from the Beverly Hills Mortuary, where she was being prepared for her funeral. According to employees, her body was there, when they locked up, a little after 11 o''clock last night. When the cleaning crew arrived, around 3 o''clock this morning, Miss Taylor''s body was gone from her coffin."

    Time to panic again!

    I thought, Kelly won''t be telling anyone who killed her! I''m still the chief suspect!

    I''m trapped! I don''t have enough time to find another place to hide, before sunrise. I''ll be stuck in this room all day, until the sun goes down, a little after 6:30 PM! By then, one of those guys from Willy''s place, or the desk clerk here, will have I.D''d me to the police, and collected the reward!

    The police will have arrested me, and dragged me outside, where I''ll have burned up in the daylight, and gone back to Hell! Gone directly to Hell. Will not have passed go. Will not have collected $100,000.

    So repent you sinners.

    No. Don''t panic.

    I reached in my handbag and took out the Vampire''s Handbook. I looked up the number of Wolfram and Hart, picked up my cell phone and dialed Lindsey McDonald''s extension. I got a recording, stating that Mr. McDonald would not be in until 9 AM. The time was now 5:12 AM.

    I left a recorded message. "Hello Mr. McDonald. This is Valerie Malone. You may have seen my picture on the TV News. I''m the chief suspect in the vampire murder of Kelly Taylor. I''m going to need Wolfram and Hart''s help, both legally and...other ways...I''m not sure what those other ways are."

    I gave him my cell phone number and hung up. Then I waited.

    About a half-hour later, my cell phone rang.

    I spoke into it, "Hello. Who''s calling?"

    "Valerie. This is Dylan."

    He was the last one I''d expected to hear from.

    "Dylan!" I snapped at him. "What''s this 100,000 reward? You don''t know who the vampire was who killed Kelly! You''ve got no business accusing me!"

    "That doesn''t matter now." He told me, "Listen. Kelly''s gone from the Funeral Home."

    "Yeah. I know. I just saw it on the News."

    "She''s now a vampire. She''s outside my door, and she wants me to let her in, before sunrise."

 Chapter 6

    Chapter

    6

    It was about 45 minutes before sunrise, on a Saturday morning. I was inside my room in the Sunnydale Motor Lodge, when I received that frantic call on my cell phone from Dylan McKay.

    I asked him, "Why are you calling me about this?"

    "You''re the only other vampire I know Val. You might be able to give me some advice."

    "Well," I told him, "If you don''t want Kelly to burn up into cinders when the sun rises, you''ll have to let her into your house."

    "But she''s now a hungry vampire. If I let her in, she might try to kill me for nourishment, or Brenda."

    I said, "Then you or Brenda''ll just have to ram a sharp wooden stake through her heart."

    "Val, it''s not a joke. I don''t want to kill Kelly. Neither does Brenda."

    "Yeah." I said, "That''s a real toughie isn''t it?"

    "''A toughie''?" He shouted, "What are you, making a joke about it?"

    "Dylan." I asked, "You wouldn''t just happen to have a pint bottle of pigs'' blood in your refrigerator, would you?"

    "Pigs'' blood? In my fridge? Val! Stop making jokes!"

    "Okay. Listen carefully. There''s a six-pack of bottled pigs'' blood'' in the fridge in my office in the AfterDark. You can drive on over there, pick them up, and if you leave now, you can be back to your place, and in time to feed Kelly, before sunrise."

    "I can''t drive over. If I step outside she''ll pounce on me."

    "Like I said, you got a real toughie there."

    In the background, I heard Brenda''s voice. I couldn''t understand her words. Dylan said something inaudible to her. She said something to him. Then he spoke over the cell phone to me.

    "Listen Val. Brenda says I should toss my keys out the window to Kelly, so she can drive on over herself."

    "Good idea. Just one thing Dylan..."

    His voice was away from the phone again. Then he didn''t speak to me for a minute or so.

    Then he said, "It''s okay Val. I tossed my keys out the window. Kelly''s just drove off in my car. She''ll be able to get into the AfterDark, and get the pigs'' blood. Things''ll be okay."

    He clicked off his phone before I could say, "No they won''t Dylan."

    About a half-hour later my cell phone rang again. I answered.

    "Valerie." The caller said, "It''s Dylan. I just got a call from Kelly. She''s inside your office in the AfterDark, but your refrigerator is locked."

    "I tried to warn you," I told him, "but you hung up. I locked the fridge so no one would find the pigs blood. I didn''t want anyone to find out I was a vampire."

    He said, "And I bet you''re the only one who has the key."

    "No." I told him, "There is a duplicate."

    "And where''s that?"

    "I''m not telling."

    "What kind of game is this?"

    "I''m not telling anyone where it is, until you cancel the reward for my arrest."

    "Okay. Consider it canceled."

    "No Dylan. I know how you are. I''m not telling you where it is, ''til I hear it on the News, that you''ve canceled the reward."

    Then I hung up.

    Let them sweat, I thought, I can wait. I''ve got all day.

    All day to do what? To be stuck here inside this motel room, on the outskirts of Sunnydale?

    I decided to check out the action on Channel 666. It turned out that I wouldn''t have to buy a DVD of the Annual Sacrifices. I spent the next few hours watching a broadcast of the Annual Sacrifices to the Demon Beelzebub that had been taped in the City of Beelzebubopolis, the Capitol of the Demonic Dimension of Beelzebubia.

    The day''s events began on the top tier, of the five tiered stepped pyramid, which served as the Supreme Sacred Temple. Two smiling Sacred Maidens were decapitated, as voluntary sacrifices to the Demon Beelzebub. This was followed by the deaths of 200 beautiful women standing on the lower tiers. They were sacrificed with arrows through their breasts. This was followed by an equal number of men being hanged, and children tossed onto spears, in the Plaza at the Temple''s base.

    In the next event, male and female gladiators fought to the death, while almost totally naked, in a local sports stadium.

    As the day''s other deadly events went on there were unexpected fatalities among participants and spectators. Then in the evening, there were deadly fireworks.

    There was also music, dancing and feasting on the roast meat of those who''d been sacrificed.

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    "And More!"

    Before this, I would have been revolted by the whole thing; but now, as a vampire, I loved every minute of it. I was sure that if we showed a live, closed circuit cable broadcast of this event, at the AfterDark, we could charge $1000 a pop, and the place would be packed.

    The video had lasted about two and a half-hours. When it ended, the time was almost 9 o''clock. This was gonna be a very long day.

    I again switched to the 24-hour news from L.A.

    They repeated the same story about Kelly''s disappearance, and that I was the chief suspect. They said nothing about the reward, but they also did not say that it had been canceled.

    My phone rang.

    "Val. It''s Dylan. I just got a call from Kelly. She''s still inside the AfterDark, but she''s starving. She says she''s ready to go outside and pounce on the first person she sees. I need to know where the duplicate key is now."

    "And I need to hear a News report, that you canceled the reward. They didn''t say a word about it."

    "I told them Val."

    Then I asked, "Has Kelly told you who killed her?"

    "Yes. She says it was a vampire named Harmony."

    "Yeah. I know her. They do not call her ''Harm'' for nothing. I''m finally off the hook."

    "No you aren''t." He said, "This Harmony told Kelly, that you put her up to it."

    Wouldn''t you know it? I thought, I''ve just been through the very worst night, followed by the very worst morning, to top off the very worst week of my entire life!

    I bellowed. "What do you mean I put her up to it?"

    "Did you tell Harmony that you wished you could bite all of us except Donna, and the one you wanted to kill most was Kelly?"

    I wondered if I should tell him that I wasn''t being serious, but Harmony obviously thought that I was.

    What I did say was, "I''m exercising my right against self incrimination."

    "Go right ahead." He told me, "Kelly''ll be exercising her right, to bring an indictment against Harmony, and you''ll also be named in the indictment, as a co-conspirator."

    "Wait Dylan. I''ll make it up to her."

    "How can you possibly do that?"

    "Call her, and ask her if she''ll be willing to forget any charge against me, if I help her get all the pigs'' blood she''ll ever need."

    "You mean you''ll tell her where the key is?"

    "Dylan. There is no duplicate key."

    "Then you can forget about her dropping the charges."

    "You don''t need any key!"

    "What are you talking about?"

    "You spoiled, pampered, Beverly Hills dilettantes, must be the only people in Los Angeles, who don''t know that you can buy all the pigs'' blood, that any vampire could possibly need, in every single butcher shop in the City"

    I hung up.

    Now what? By now the desk clerk of this Motel, along with that demon woman; along with all those other guys who''d seen me in Willy''s Place, must have I.D''d me to the police. That Lieutenant Colombo''s probably on his way here with an arrest warrant in his pocket.

    I''m gonna need a Lawyer.

    I looked through the Vampire''s Handbook, and found Wolfram and Hart''s number again. I picked up my cell phone and called them, dialing Lindsey McDonald''s extension once more. The time was 9:10 AM. Now he was at work.

    He said, "Good morning Miss Malone. I just heard your voice mail."

    I told him, "And I''ve just heard from Dylan McKay. Kelly Taylor has revived as a vampire. She''s accused Harmony of killing her, and Harmony accused me of putting her up to it."

    Mr. McDonald said, "Don''t worry about it Miss Malone. That''s just hearsay. It won''t be allowed in Court."

    "Thank you for saying that," I told him, "But I''m sure it''s not that easy for me to just walk away from the whole thing."

    "No it isn''t Miss Malone. If you want Wolfram and Hart''s help, it''s going to be very costly."

    "I figured that." I asked, "Can you give me an estimate of the cost?"

    "Your entire interest in the AfterDark Nightclub."

    "My entire interest? So that''s what this is all about huh? Right from the beginning? Even before Spike bit me?"

    "Exactly. You have a choice Miss Malone. Sign over your entire interest in the AfterDark to us, and you can continue to exist as a creature of the night. If you refuse, you''ll be burning up in the daylight, before the sun sets today."

    So repent you sinners.

 Chapter 7

    Chapter

    7

    Kelly Taylor was hungry. At 9:30 AM, she was seated at a table inside the otherwise deserted Beverly Hills nightclub, the Peachpit After/Dark. She sat in the dark silence, drinking red wine from a glass, trying not to scratch the vessel with her fangs, while wishing that the glass was filled with blood, of the human variety.

    The blonde 20-year-old wore the modest blue dress she''d found herself in, when she woke up a little after midnight, in an open coffin inside a dark and deserted mortuary.

    She''d lain there for a frighteningly long, amnesiac moment, trying to remember what she was doing in that place. Then she remembered.

    She remembered late Thursday night, or maybe it happened early Friday morning. She''d been here at the After/Dark for a few hours. The Club had been busy. It was a good night for business, but the Manager; Valerie Malone wasn''t there. No one had seen her since early Tuesday evening. There was nothing unusual about that. Valerie had a way of just vanishing for a few days, then returning without explanation.

    "Whatever she''s doing," Kelly''s stepbrother David Silver said with a peeved tone, "it''s better if we just don''t know."

    "Right." Kelly told him, "I don''t think I want to know."

    Kelly had left the Club around midnight, heading out across the parking lot to where her car was parked, with its front grill a few inches from the Club''s brick wall.

    She moved between her car''s driver side and the vehicle on its left, reached in her handbag and took out her keys.

    "Hey Kelly!"

    A woman named Harmony had called out. She was also blonde and appeared to be around Kelly''s age. She''d been showing up regularly at the After/Dark for about two weeks, accompanied by a guy named Spike, who spoke with a Cockney English accent. Spike had a mean look to him, so did Harmony. So far neither of them had caused any trouble.

    She approached Kelly between both cars, blocking the woman between herself and the brick wall.

    "Hi Harmony." Kelly asked, "How''re you doing?"

    "How I''m doing," she spoke with a peeved tone, "is that when it comes to guys, I really know how to pick ''em."

    "You have that problem too, huh?"

    "What I''m doing, is that I got into an argument with Spike. He just walked out and drove off, leaving me without a ride home."

    "Welcome to Beverly Hills. I''ll give you a ride home."

    "Thank you Kelly."

    "If you don''t mind me asking, just what were you two arguing about?"

    "Well," Harmony said, "You know that bimbo Valerie, who owns this place?"

    "Yeah. Unfortunately. Since you''re calling her a ''bimbo'', I think I know what you''re gonna tell me."

    "Well, on Tuesday night, she and Spike were out here in this parking lot, doing it in the backseat of his car; like a couple of horny teenagers!"

    Kelly nodded, "I figured that''s what you we''re gonna say. It''s not the first time she''s done something like that; and doing it with some other woman''s guy, isn''t even close to the worst things she''s done."

    Harmony said firmly, "Valerie Malone is a vampire."

    "Right." Kelly nodded. "She should be classified among the lower beings, who everyone should do their best to avoid."

    "Listen Kelly." Harmony told her, "When I called Valerie a ''vampire'', it wasn''t a figure of speech."

    "It wasn''t?"

    "Spike is one himself."

    "One what? A vampire?"

    "That''s right girl, and so am I."

    Kelly now saw that the woman, who stood blocking her between both cars and the wall, had a pair of fangs protruding between her upper and lower lips.

    Harmony told her, "And Valerie Malone is now my friend." She moved closer to Kelly. "She says that she wishes she could bite all of you except Donna, and the one she wants to kill most of all is you, Kelly."

    That had happened either late Thursday night, or early Friday morning. Now it was Saturday morning, and Kelly Taylor was a vampire, hiding from the daylight, seated at a table in the dark and deserted nightclub.

    Her cellphone rang. She put it to her ear.

    "Hi Kelly." The caller said, "It''s Dylan. I''ve just called Valerie again. She''s finally cooperating. She said that a vampire can get all the pigs'' blood he or she needs, in any butcher shop in the City."

    "I can''t get to any butcher shop at all Dylan. Not ''til after sunset. If I did go out in the sunlight, I''d burn up into ashes and soot."

    "It''s okay. I''m driving over to the butcher shop that''s closest to my place. I''ll get it to you by 10 A.M."

    "Well you''d better hurry, or when you show up, I''ll ignore the pigs'' blood!"

    Dylan''s phone clicked off.

    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    He''d better get the blood here quick, she thought, before the first employees show up. If he doesn''t, I won''t be able to keep myself from biting my fangs into the first employee''s neck, and sucking out his or her blood, until he or she is dead. If that first employee just happens to be my stepbrother David, it won''t make any difference.

    Kelly remained seated at the table, waiting for Dylan, and getting hungrier.

    I hope Valerie''s the first employee to show up! Forget that! Even if she is what''s the point? She''s now a Vampire so biting her wouldn''t do me any good.

    Or would it? Can I get nourishment from blood that''s already nourishing another vampire?

    I don''t know a thing about being a vampire. Is there any way to learn?

    Just a few minutes after 10 AM, she heard sounds coming through the storeroom''s doorway that stood to the bar''s right. She heard footsteps. Then a male voice called out from the storeroom.

    "Kelly?"

    "I''m out on the main floor Dylan!"

    "I''ve brought you the pigs'' blood!"

    She got up from the table, and headed toward his voice.

    He called out again. "Can I trust you not to bite me?"

    Kelly halted. "No! Not right now!"

    "Then stay where you are! I''ll toss it out to you! It''s in a can!"

    A dark object flew out through the storeroom doorway, hit the floor, bounced once and rolled along the tiles, until it bumped up against a table''s legs, where it stopped moving.

    Kelly pounced, diving below the table, and grabbed the wet, dark can. She brought it up to her mouth, put her fangs against the lid, and drove them in, with a much more powerful bite than she''d had before becoming undead.

    She took one taste. Then she gagged.

    "It''s beer?" She howled, "Dylan? What the hell are you doing?"

    Now Dylan stood beside her. She looked up at him, and saw that he was holding a cross.

    She screamed, raising her hand to shield her eyes, while she cringed beneath the table.

    Her voice whimpered. "What the hell''s the matter with you? Don''t you know what that does to a vampire?"

    "I''m sorry Kelly. I had to distract you." He put a paper bag on the table. "I have brought you the blood. Just wait for me to back off."

    He quickly backed away from the table, still holding the cross, and moved behind the bar.

    "Okay." He told her. "You can come out now."

    Kelly moved out from under the table, and stood up with her hand still raised to shield her eyes from the cross. She turned her back toward Dylan, opened the brown paper bag on the table, reached in and took out a large, sealed plastic container, containing a dark red liquid.

    Dylan told her, "That''s the blood."

    Kelly took the container over to the table where she''d been sitting before he shown up. She pulled off the lid, and poured the contents into the wineglass, from which she''d drunk her non-nourishing breakfast. Then she gulped it all down fast.

    She looked at Dylan, who continued holding the cross, and quickly looked away.

    "Don''t let go of that cross yet." she told him.

    She filled the glass once more and gulped it all down again. Then she gulped down another glassful. Then she poured what remained in the container into the glass, and finished that off.

    She looked at Dylan, still keeping her hand raised, to shield her eyes from the cross.

    "It''s okay." She told him, "I won''t bite you now; but I have no idea how long it''ll be before I get hungry again."

    Now she seated herself at the table, feeling much calmer.

    Dylan remained standing behind the bar. He laid down the cross but kept it within reach.

    He asked, "So what do we do now?"

    "I have no idea." She shook her head. "I still have to stay in here, until the sun goes down."

    "After that what?"

    "I don''t know Dylan." She told him, "I don''t know a thing about being a vampire! I have no idea how to handle it."

    He said, "Valerie might know. Do you want me to call her? Then she can tell you what she knows."

    He took out his cellphone.

    "No! I never want to talk to Valerie Malone again! She''s the one who had me killed!"

    "I asked her about that. She''s taking the Fifth."

    "It figures. I''m not talking to her!"

    "Okay. You don''t have to. I''ll call her."

    Dylan picked his cross up off the bar, and went through the doorway into the storeroom.

    Valerie? Kelly thought, You couldn''t trust anything she had to say when she was alive; so why should I trust her now, when she''s a vampire?

    A sister vampire?

    Sister? Yeah-right!

    Dylan returned from the storeroom after about five minutes, and stood behind the bar again.

    He told Kelly, "I just spoke to Valerie. She suggested that I get you a copy of the ''Vampire''s Handbook''."

    "There''s a ''Handbook''?"

    "She says it''s what every new vampire should know."

 Chapter 8

    Chapter 8

    A half-hour later, Kelly had moved into the brick walled Club Manager''s office. Direct sunlight didn''t shine through its frosted glass window. She now sat in the swivel chair behind Valerie''s desk. The desk lamp was switched on. Dylan stood just inside the open door, cautiously watching her.

    She ignored him, while facing the knee-high fridge in the corner to her left. The fridge had a lock on its door, and the lock was shut. Valerie had told Dylan that a six-pack of blood was behind the locked door. She''d also told him that the pack contained the "good stuff".

    "It''s okay Dylan." Kelly spoke with annoyance. "I''m no longer hungry. You don''t have to stand as far away from me as you can get, any more."

    "Right."

    He remained in place.

    "I don''t need any key." She''d told him. "All I need is a hammer to break the lock."

    "Break Valerie''s lock?"

    Kelly spoke sharply, "If she''s got any complaints I''ll buy her a new one!"

    She began opening and shutting drawers in the desk.

    She asked, "Do you know if Val''s got a hammer in here?"

    "I''m sure she does." Dylan said uneasily, "At least somewhere here in the Club. I''ve never had to look for one in here before."

    "Well stop hanging out in the doorway and start looking!"

    He began poking around the shelves along the wall.

    "Excuse me Kell." He said, "You''ve been in here for hours, but you didn''t think of looking for a hammer until now?"

    "Until now? I''ve just come back from being brain dead Dylan! My mind was clouded, until I drank that blood you gave me!"

    "Right. I''m sorry."

    She said, "And once I get into the fridge and drink the ''good stuff'', my mind should be clearer than ever."

    He stopped poking around the shelves, turned and looked at her.

    "And what does a clear thinking vampire have on her mind?"

    "What''s on my mind, is figuring out what I''ll have to do, to get away with drinking the good stuff, straight from its natural sources."

    Sounds came through the doorway, from the out on the main floor. A guy called out.

    "Dylan? Kelly?"

    She turned the swivel chair and now sat facing the doorway, extending her fangs, which poked out between her upper and lower lips.

    Dylan raised an open hand in her direction, making a calming gesture.

    "We''re in here Brandon!" He called out, "In Valerie''s office!"

    Brandon Walsh appeared in the doorway, with his right hand gripping the handles of a bulging plastic shopping bag at his side.

    "Hi Dylan," he spoke calmly, "And hi..."

    Kelly had rolled backward in the swivel chair, away from the desk, moving out of the lamp''s direct light.

    Brandon hesitated for a long moment. "Why Kelly, what big teeth you have." He spoke without amusement.

    She told him, "All the better to you know what, Brandon!"

    "It''s okay." Dylan told him, "She''s no longer hungry. I''ve given her enough pigs'' blood."

    Brandon lifted the plastic bag. "And I''ve brought more."

    Kelly pointed. "Just leave it on the desk."

    Brandon, her boyfriend for the present, moved cautiously forward, carrying the plastic bag that bulged with heavy plastic containers. He placed it on the desk top, then quickly backed away, and stood beside her former boyfriend, Dylan.

    Kelly rolled up to the desk in the swivel chair. She spread the plastic bag open with her fingers and looked inside.

    "Good." She said, "I''ll take them with me, along with what''s in the fridge."

    Dylan said, "Take them with you? Where?"

    She looked up at both of them, and spoke with hesitation.

    "Do either of you have any suggestions?"

    Brandon and Dylan looked at each other puzzled. Then they looked at Kelly again.

    She told them, "If one of you can get your hands on a Vampire''s Handbook, it might identify some safe places where vampires can go to live, or go to be undead."

    "Vampire''s Handbook?" Brandon added, "Where would you find one?"

    Dylan said, "I spoke to Valerie on my cellphone about a half hour ago. She said she got her copy at Wolfram & Hart Headquarters."

    "Wolfram and Hart?" Brandon repeated. "Isn''t that some major law firm?"

    "Wolfram and Hart Corp," Dylan told him, "is a vampire owned and operated corporation that provides goods and services, including legal services, to vampires and other beings who go bump in the night. Val said that its Legal Department employs vampires as enforcers."

    "Enforcers?" Kelly asked, "Does that include Harmony? The one who did this to me?"

    Dylan nodded, "That''s what Valerie said. It''s a place that''s best for all of us to avoid."

    "Not all of us." Kelly spoke, "Not for me. Since I''m already a vampire, I can go on down there tonight, and pick up a Handbook. Then I''ll have some idea of what I''ll have to be dealing with. I can pick up a few copies for both of you, and everyone else."

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    Brandon asked, "Everyone else?"

    "Right. David, Donna, Brenda and Steve. Then you''ll all know how to deal with me, and we can avoid trouble. She added, with a whimper in her voice, "I don''t want to lose any of you as friends."

    Dylan shook his head, "I don''t know Kell. From what I''ve heard about Wofram & Hart, it''s not all that safe for vampires either. If you do go down there tonight, there''s no telling if we''ll ever see you again."

    "But I need that Vampire''s Handbook!" There was a predator''s growl in her voice.

    Brandon spoke nervously. "It might be posted on the internet. Do you want to give it a look?"

    He pointed to a laptop computer that lay open on the desk. Kelly pushed aside the plastic bag with the blood filled containers, picked up the computer and placed it in front of her. Then she switched on the device, logged on to google, and typed in the words "Vampire''s Handbook", and then tapped "google search".

    "There are 325,000 entries." she told them. "I''ll have to narrow it down."

    Dylan asked, "Gonna take a while huh?"

    She sighed. "I don''t know where to start."

    "Try Wolfram & Hart''s website."

    She took his advice. In less than two minutes she said, "I''ve got it."

    Brandon and Dylan came over beside her cautiously, and looked at the laptop''s screen.

    Kelly had logged onto the home page which displayed the title, "The Vampire''s Handbook". Beneath that was the subtitle, "Being a Vampire Doesn''t Have to Suck." Beneath the subtitle a smiley face with fangs was displayed. Under the smiley face a blurb appeared saying, "What every new vampire should know."

    "Okay!" She said, "Let''s see. ''Table of contents.''"

    "Guys." She told them, "It looks like I really am gonna be here a while."

    "Right." Dylan asked, "Is there anything you''d like us to do, while you''re studying it?"

    "Well for one thing," she spoke sharply, "You can get back to finding a hammer, and breaking that lock off the fridge!"

    "Right!"

    Dylan resumed poking around the shelves along the walls of the office, and searching through file cabinets, while Brandon left the office, to look for a hammer somewhere inside the building.

    Brandon was back in less than five minutes, with a claw hammer in his hand.

    "It was on the shelf under the bar, just where you might expect."

    Kelly remained seated at the desk, gazing at the laptop s screen. Dylan was back beside her.

    He said, "We ve found some very interesting things on this website."

    "And very useful." Kelly added. "There''s a very long list of places where anyone can purchase pigs blood. I won t have to bite anyone human."

    Brandon said, "That''s good to know."

    "There are also some places listed, where I can go to purchase some of the good stuff , canned or bottled, anytime."

    "Canned or bottled?" Brandon asked, "Does that mean that you won''t have any problem being a law abiding vampire, or will you?"

    "Well. There will always be the problem of temptation."

    Dylan backed away from her, and moved over beside Brandon, who stood just inside the open door.

    She grinned at both very nervous looking guys, with her fangs extended. "But if the temptation becomes too strong; there are certain websites listed here, where I can make reservations to go on hunting trips."

    "Hunting?" Brandon asked, "For blood of the human variety?"

    "What else?" She told him, "Here it says ''The good stuff''. I assume that''s what it means."

    Now Dylan spoke. "I know whose blood I''d like to go hunting for, and it isn''t anyone human; or at least no longer human. I''d like to ram a sharp wooden stake into that Harmony Bitch, for doing this to you, Kelly."

    She said, "Forget it Dylan!"

    Brandon agreed, "You''ll be biting off too much. You go after her, and then every vampire at Wolfram & Hart''ll be coming after you and maybe the rest of us."

    "Don''t worry you two." He told them, "I''m not going off half cocked. I''m gonna be getting myself the right kind of help."

    "Like who?"

    "People who know how to fight vampires." Dylan said, "Kelly, will you check and see if this Handbook says anything about any people, or organizations who actually fight vampires?"

    Kelly checked further.

    "I''ve got it." She said, "Right here in L.A. There''s a detective agency named "Angel Investigations."

    Dylan asked, "Can you give me their number? I''ll give them a call."

    Brandon said, "Wait Dylan. Before we call in any vampire hunters, let''s make sure we''ve got Kelly in a safe place first. We don''t want them going after her too."

    "Right. Okay Kell, check again. See if there''s any place, within reasonable distance, where a vampire might be reasonably safe."

    She did as he asked. Then she said, "The nearest place recommended is Sunnydale."

    "Sunnydale?" Brandon said, "Right. It is known as ''Vampire Town''."

    "Except, " she spoke further, "Sunnydale is also the home of Buffy Summers, the Vampire Slayer herself."

 Chapter 9

    Chapter 9

    "They can''t be serious!" Dylan said, "The safest place for a vampire to hide is the town where the Vampire Slayer lives?"

    Kelly sighed and stared blankly at the computer screen. She, Brandon and Dylan were all uncomfortably quiet for a few moments. They heard the morning traffic passing on the street outside.

    Brandon finally spoke, "That could mean that for any vampire, no place is any safer than Sunnydale."

    She sighed again, this time with a whimper in her voice.

    The cell phone on Dylan''s belt rang. He grabbed it, and put the device to his ear.

    "Hi." He said, "Valerie?"

    "No." A man spoke. "I''m not Valerie Malone. I''m calling a Mr. Dylan McKay."

    "That''s me. I''m Dylan McKay. Who are you?"

    "My name is Lindsey McDonald, Mr. McKay. I am an attorney. I work for the firm of

    Wolfram and Hart"

    "Wolfram and Hart?"

    Brandon and Kelly both looked startled, while Dylan continued listening to the man on the phone.

    "Yes." The man said, "I have been retained to represent the legal interests of Miss Valerie Malone."

    "Oh I see." Dylan spoke to Brandon and Kelly. "Valerie''s got herself a lawyer."

    "Good idea." Brandon said

    Kelly nodded. "She''s gonna need one."

    "Listen Mr. McDonald." Dylan told him, "I have good news for your client. I have an eyewitness who can give testimony, that Valerie Malone was not the Vampire who killed Kelly Taylor. Miss Taylor has returned as a vampire herself, and has identified her real killer as another vampire named Harmony."

    "That''s good to hear, but do you know that for an actual fact, or is that just hearsay?"

    "What I did hear, was Miss Taylor say that herself."

    "Would you know how I can contact her, so we can arrange for a meeting, where she can give me a sworn deposition?"

    "Could you please hold on a moment?"

    Dylan spoke to Kelly. "Valerie''s lawyer wants to meet with you, so you can make a sworn deposition, identifying the vampire who actually killed you."

    Brandon spoke, "Do either of you realize just how strange that statement sounds?"

    Kelly told him, "Nobody realizes that more than I do, Brandon.

    "Dylan." She told him, "Tell Valerie''s lawyer, that Harmony gave me the impression, that his bimbo client put her up to it."

    Dylan resumed speaking on the phone. "If Kelly gives you her deposition, it would be definitely detrimental to your client. I''ve spoken to Valerie Malone myself, and she''s exercising her Fifth Amendment right against self incrimination."

    "Yes, I know, but that''s not the only reason I called. I''m also representing her business interests. I understand, Mr. McKay, is that you and she are both part owners of the nightclub, the After/Dark."

    "Oh, I see. You not only want to take a deposition, you want a business meeting too?"

    "Yes. As soon as possible, sometime today perhaps. My calendar is clear this afternoon, from 2:30 to 3 PM. Can you be in my office then?"

    "Not this afternoon." Dylan told him, "You seem to be forgetting that Miss Kelly Taylor is now a vampire, and she can''t go outside in the daylight. It could be detrimental to her existence."

    "Right. So how about us meeting in my office this evening?"

    "This evening? You want the two of us to come to Wolfram and Hart''s headquarters tonight, when all their vampire employees, including Harmony, will be on the job? Forget it Mr. McDonald. It could not only be detrimental to Miss Taylor''s existence, but mine also. If you want a meeting, it will have to be in a place and time when it will be safe for everybody."

    "Very well Mr. McKay. Can you suggest a place and time?"

    "I''m not sure. I''ll have to get back to you on that Mr. McDonald."

    Then Dylan clicked off his cell phone.

    Dylan said, "A lawyer from Wolfram and Hart is not only Valerie''s lawyer. He also works with Harmony. It''s obvious to me, that he doesn''t really want any deposition. He wants to know where you are, so Harmony and her friends can eliminate you as a witness, Kelly."

    She said, "And this is the first place they''ll come looking! As soon as it gets dark."

    Brandon said, "Then we''ve got to get you out of L.A. before dark, but you can''t go any place outside until after sunset, which is around 6:30."

    She spoke bitterly. "Maybe you should lock me in the walk in refrigerator. It can''t harm me now."

    Now another male voice called out from the main floor. "Who''s here? Who''s in the office?"

    Brandon said, "David?"

    "He is the D.J." Dylan said, "He does have a key."

    Kelly said, "He''s my brother. We have to let him know about me."

    "Right."

    "I''m Dylan, David! We''re all in here!"

    David Silver stepped through the doorway, but he wasn''t alone. A woman was with him. She was in her mid-twenties, wore a stylish, light green business outfit and had expensively coiffeured hair. Brandon recognized her. He''d seen her in the club before, but they''d never spoken.

    The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

    David said, "Hi Dylan, Brandon. Hi..."

    He was startled to see who was seated behind the desk.

    "Kelly?"

    His sister said, "You''re not alone?"

    He said, "You''re not dead!"

    The woman declared, "Yes she is, Mr. Silver. To be more specific, she''s undead."

    Now Dylan asked, "And just who are you?"

    "Guys. Everyone." David replied, "This is Cordelia Chase. She is an employee of the Angel Investigations Agency. Miss Chase, this is Dylan McKay, part owner of this establishment.

    "He is Brandon Walsh, fiance of..." he pointed uneasily "my ''late'' sister Miss Kelly Taylor."

    Miss Chase reached in her handbag and took out a cross that she held up for everyone to see. Kelly turned her head away and raised her hands to shield her eyes, as her fangs became extended.

    "Put that away!" She shouted. "I''m not gonna hurt anyone! I''ve already eaten!"

    Now the woman asked, "Anyone you know?"

    Dylan called out, "No lady! She''s only had pigs'' blood!"

    Miss Chase asked, "Are you sure of that?"

    "Positive!"

    Now Brandon spoke. "Will you put that away lady? Things are hard enough for all of us, as it is."

    "Not ''til she retracts her fangs."

    Kelly did as the woman asked.

    "Okay." The woman put the cross back in her handbag. "But if she gets up out of that chair, I''m taking it out again."

    "No problem." Now Kelly said, "''Angel Investigations''? I''ve been checking things out, on the Vampires'' Handbook website. It says that Angel Investigations is a detective agency that hunts demonic beings."

    David spoke. "I didn''t hire them to hunt you Kelly. If I knew you were ''back'', believe me, I wouldn''t have brought her in here."

    "I know that David. It''s okay."

    "I''ve hired them to hunt down that vampire bitch Harmony, who did this to you."

    "Good." Kelly spoke to the woman, "While you''re at it, how''d you like to add the vampire bimbo Valerie Malone to the list? She''s the one who put her up to it."

    Cordelia spoke to Dylan, "Isn''t this Valerie Malone the one who you posted that $100,000 reward for?"

    "The reward for Valerie''s been canceled." He said, "Kelly was misinformed about her involvement. I''m reposting the reward for Harmony instead."

    "Mr. McKay!" Cordelia told him, "I believe that Miss Taylor here could be much better served, if you spent your time, instead of your money, on restoring her soul, before she does kill somebody."

    The others were all startled.

    Brandon asked, "Restore her soul? After she''s been killed, and is now a vampire? I didn''t know that was possible?"

    "Neither did I until recently." The woman told them, "What I know is that it involves the use of a certain specific artifact. That artifact is the consecrated, shrunken head of a Slayer-Vampire-Slayer with fangs."

    "What!" Brandon exclaimed, while the others were now even more startled.

    Dylan repeated,"''Shrunken head of a Vampire Slayer''?"

    Kelly tapped the laptop computer on the desk in front of her. "I''ve been checking things here on the internet. I''m trying to find out as much as I can about being a vampire. According to what I''ve read, the Vampire Slayer is the one person, who vampires like myself and Valerie, and every other vampire there is, should avoid most."

    Cordelia told them, "I don''t mean that you should decapitate the present, living Vampire Slayer. I said a ''Slayer-Vampire Slayer''. That is an already dead Vampire Slayer. Specifically one who was killed by a vampire and then come back as a vampire herself, with fangs of her own. After that, she was killed a second time, decapitated and then her head was shrunk."

    Everyone looked at each other with very puzzled expressions on their faces.

    "Oh." Kelly spoke. "Now I see. None of us could be in any kind danger, from a Vampire Slayer who''s already dead."

    Brandon said, "And none of us want to be in any danger from Kelly the Vampire. What does a vampire''s shrunken head have to do with her soul being restored?"

    "Her soul can be restored," The woman told them, "if she hasn''t killed anyone. Miss Taylor would have to stand, in the presence of someone with magical powers, who''d be speaking the proper incantation in Latin, while holding the consecrated shrunken head of a Slayer Vampire Slayer. That should restore her soul."

    The others were all silent for a long bewildered moment.

    Then Dylan asked Cordelia, "You can''t be serious?"

    David said, "That is just too weird."

    "And totally gross." said Brandon.

    Now Kelly shouted, "Wait a minute! I don''t care how weird or gross it is, as long as it works!"

    She asked Cordelia, "I suppose you know where one of those ''weird'' and ''totally gross'' artifacts can be found?"

    "What I''ve been told," the woman told them all, "by a very reliable source, is that one such consecrated shrunken head can now be found, with her fangs extended, in a magic shop in Sunnydale; where a certain individual with magical powers can also be found."

 Chapter 10

    Chapter 10

    By 1:30 PM on Saturday afternoon, the two of them had been on the road for two and a half hours. They''d spent the last 30 minutes driving in an open convertible, past patches of wild cactus, along a two-lane asphalt road, through the arid southern California countryside. Now their trip was almost over. They were approaching Sunnydale.

    "I can''t believe we''re doing this." said Brandon, who sat in the front passenger seat. "We''re actually driving along, with a dead woman in the trunk of our car."

    "Correction." Dylan, who was behind the wheel said, "That''s an ¡®undead¡¯ woman."

    Brandon sighed. "The things we do for love."

    They drove past the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign, rounded a curve and the town came into sight. From a distance, in the daytime, it looked like any typical southern California community.

    They drove on further, and came to the Sunnydale Motor Lodge, pulled off the road here, and drove up to the office where they checked in. Then they drove over to room 103, and parked outside.

    Behind the window to room 104, the blinds were shut. One slat in the blinds opened a crack. The room''s occupant looked through the crack, to see Brandon and Dylan getting out of their car.

    The occupant thought, They''ve found me?

    The new arrivals reached into the back seat, and each took out an overnight bag. They shut and locked the car, then carried their bags into room 103.

    They haven''t come to my door? Room 104''s occupant wondered. They''re staying in the next room? Do they know I''m here?

    The two guys went back out into the parking lot, stood behind Dylan''s car and looked around.

    "Okay." Brandon said, "No cars coming in either direction."

    Dylan knocked on the trunk three times. "Kelly!" He called out, "Are you ready?"

    A woman''s muffled voice came from inside the trunk. "Okay! You can open it now!"

    Dylan unlocked the trunk, and opened it wide. Inside the trunk, Kelly was lying, completely covered from head to foot in a blue blanket; like an Arab woman in traditional robes. Her face was also covered with a towel. A plastic red and white cooler was beside her.

    Brandon asked, "Are you breathing okay?"

    "I''m a vampire Brandon." She spoke through the towel. "I''m not breathing at all."

    "You''re not? Then how are you able to speak?"

    "I have no idea. Do you guys want to help me get out of here?"

    Dylan and Brandon reached in, took her by the arms, which she kept folded inside the blanket, and helped lift her up and out of the trunk. Then she stood on the parking lot''s asphalt pavement.

    A few wisps of smoke began rising from the blanket¡¯s surface, while Kelly started to tremble. She pulled off the towel which had also started to smoke.

    Brandon shouted, "Let''s get inside quick!"

    Kelly dropped the smoking blanket and towel on the pavement, as the three hurried inside Motel Room 103.

    Then Brandon went back out to the car, reached in the trunk again, and lifted out the red and white plastic cooler with both hands. He shut the trunk and carried the cooler into the Motel Room. Dylan shut the door behind him. Dylan had also shut the blinds, and turned on a lamp.

    Kelly now stood trembling before the mirror on the wall above the dresser, still wearing the modest blue dress.

    Dylan asked, ¡°Are you okay now?¡±

    She nodded and her trembling stopped.

    "I look awful!" She said, "My hair''s a mess. I don''t have a comb or any make-up either."

    Dylan said, "That''s okay. We''ll get you whatever you need when we''re in town."

    Rooms 103 and 104 were adjoining. The occupant of 104 knelt beside the adjoining doors, listening to their voices.

    Now Brandon spoke. "Wait a minute? You can see yourself in that mirror? I can''t see your reflection."

    "Neither can I." said Dylan.

    "But I can see myself." Kelly told them, "I''ve heard that about vampires."

    Then she asked, "So now what?"

    Dylan said, "Now it''s time for me and Brandon to drive on into town, and start looking for that ''Slayer-Vampire Slayer¡¯s consecrated shrunken head'', and that person with magical powers. If we¡¯re lucky, you might actually have your soul restored before it gets dark."

    Brandon asked, "You won''t have any problem with us leaving you alone like this, will you Kelly?"

    "It''s okay. No problem. The room''s got cable TV, and there''s that cooler full of pigs'' blood," she smiled, "and the good stuff too. There''s no reason for me to go outside. Both of you can take all the time you need."

    Brandon and Dylan then went out the door, shutting it behind themselves. Kelly heard the car''s engine start, and the vehicle driving off.

    Now she was alone in the room. The time was a little after 2 in the afternoon. She sat on the edge of the double bed nearest the door, and wondered, Now what? Brandon and Dylan are gonna be gone for the rest of the day. What do I do until they return?

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    She looked at the plastic cooler on the floor, under the window.

    I''m not hungry now. I have no idea when I''ll be hungry again. I think I saw something about that on the website, but I didn''t get around to reading it. I''ll see what''s on TV.

    The TV''s remote control tuner lay on the night table between the headboards of both beds. She got up to reach for the device. Then she halted.

    The sound of a door opening was coming through a door in the wall across from the foot of both beds.

    That''s not a closet, she thought. It''s the door to an adjoining room!

    Somebody''s coming in here.

    She felt her fangs instinctively extend.

    No trouble please! She thought I don''t want any trouble!

    Then the door to the adjoining room swung open, and a woman around Kelly''s age stepped into Room 103. The woman had dark hair, and wore the same low cut, thigh high, tight, shimmering green dress that she''d had on the night before, in the After/Dark Nightclub.

    She and Kelly looked at each other uneasily for a long, uncomfortable moment.

    Then the woman said, "Hi Kelly."

    "Good afternoon Valerie." Kelly asked, "How you been?"

    "Dead." Valerie told her, "Then undead. You?"

    Kelly felt her fangs retract. "Same here."

    "Before I became undead," Valerie told her, "I was in Hell. No surprise huh? How about you?"

    "I have no memory from when I was dead. After I woke up I finally remembered what really did happen to me, just before I died. I remember being attacked by a woman vampire named Harmony."

    "Hey! Whatever she told you, I didn''t ask Harmony to kill you!"

    "She said you told her that I was the one who you wanted killed the most."

    "She misunderstood me." Valerie said, "I didn''t say that I wanted her to kill you. I meant that I wanted to do it myself."

    Kelly said, "Then you''re too late."

    Valerie shrugged. "And it wouldn''t have done any good anyway. We''re now both vampire women. I''ve got fangs and so do you, but that still hasn''t stopped you from being the one who gets the guys. Two of them! Together! In the same motel room!"

    There was another uncomfortable silence between them for a few moments.

    Then Kelly asked, "So this is where you''ve been hiding out? The Sunnydale Motor Lodge of all places."

    "Safe place for an innocent vampire to hide, ''til things cool down; and I can stop worrying about people I know, wanting to ram a sharp wooden stake through my heart; or at least I thought it was safe."

    "Innocent?" Kelly chuckled. "You?"

    "Yeah! me! ''Innocent'' defined as not guilty of any involvement in your killing, or killing anyone else.

    "When I saw Dylan and Brandon drive up, I was sure they''d found me; and they were gonna be coming in here after me, with sharp wooden stakes. But they didn''t come to my room. They came in here with you instead. You had no idea I was here, did you?"

    "Not until now Valerie. Why''d you come in here anyway? If you''d just stayed in your room, we wouldn''t have known.¡±

    "That''s what I was planning; but while I was eavesdropping, I heard one of you mention the shrunken head of a Slayer-Vampire Slayer. That''s what the guys have gone looking for. They want to use it to restore your soul. I''d like to be included in the same restoration."

    Kelly sounded puzzled. "Now since when would somebody like you, want her soul restored? I think you''d be a lot more comfortable without one."

    "Not as comfortable as you think. Believe it or not Kelly, I want another chance."

    "Another chance to do what?"

    "To keep from going back to Hell, Kelly." Valerie went on. "Hell is real, and it''s exactly like what those Fundamentalist Preachers say, and what you see in those medieval paintings; fire and brimstone and demons with horns, sticking burning pitchforks into you. It''s all real."

    "Oh." Kelly shuddered, "Demons really do stick pitchforks in you?"

    "Yeah. I had my own personal demon named Egbert. He had a fiery pitchfork stabbed inside my naked body, and he was never gonna take it out."

    Kelly laughed. "''Egg-Bert''?"

    "Yeah. He was giving me multiple orgasms of extreme agony. If I hadn''t become undead, that would have gone on forever, and when I say ''forever'', that isn''t a figure of speech."

    "Multiple orgasms?"

    "Right. My pussy was on fire! And that¡¯s not a figure of speech either. I''m totally in fiery hot love with that horny fella. Forever."

    "In love? With a guy who set fire to your¡­"

    "That¡¯s being in love in Hell; or being in fiery hot lust, of the kinkiest, most thoroughly degrading, masochistic kind. Nobody does it better than Eggy. I just couldn¡¯t get enough. But that''s not enough for me to be in any hurry to go back for more.¡±

 Chapter 11

    Chapter 11

    Dylan and Brandon had reached the edge of Sunnydale, driving past the parking lot of the local Burger King franchise.

    Dylan was still behind the wheel of the convertible. The cell phone on his belt sounded. He pulled it out and looked at the screen.

    He sounded puzzled. "It''s from Kelly?¡±

    "I''ll talk to her," said Brandon, "while you keep your eyes on the road."

    "Right."

    Dylan handed him the cell phone.

    Brandon pressed the answer button and put the phone to his ear.

    "Hi Kelly. It''s Brandon."

    "Good. With what I''ve got to say, I''m glad you''re not the one who''s driving."

    "What is it Kelly?

    "Well, you see...Valerie''s here, with me, in the Motel room."

    He asked Dylan, "Do you want to pull over and stop for a moment?"

    Dylan did as he asked.

    When the car had stopped, Brandon told him, "Valerie''s in the Motel room with Kelly."

    "Valerie?"

    "Yeah. She just happened to be staying in the room next to ours. They''re adjoining rooms, and she came through the adjoining doors."

    Dylan asked, "Does Kelly want us to come back?"

    Brandon repeated the question to her.

    "No. I''m safe with her now. She can''t hurt me and I can''t hurt her. She wants our help."

    Brandon told Dylan, "Valerie wants our help."

    Dylan sighed with exasperation. He reached over, and Brandon handed him the phone.

    Then Dylan spoke into the device. "Put her on, Kelly."

    He heard Valerie''s voice. "Hi Dylan."

    "What the hell do you mean you want our help? Give me one good reason why I shouldn''t go looking for help from this ''Vampire Slayer¡¯, and send her after you?"

    "If you send her after me, she''ll be coming after Kelly too."

    "Right. Okay, tell me. What do you want anyway?"

    Dylan listened, and then he looked over at Brandon.

    "Valerie wants us to help keep her out of Hell."

    Brandon beckoned and Dylan handed him the phone.

    "Valerie listen carefully." Brandon told her, "If you want to stay out of Hell, then repent you sinner."

    She told him, "That''s what I''ve been telling myself, since I became undead."

    "Then I suggest you take your own advice."

    He handed the cell phone back to Dylan, who clicked it off.

    Back in the motel room, Valerie handed the cell phone back to Kelly. Then she pointed at the plastic cooler.

    "Have you got blood in there?"

    Kelly nodded, "Pigs'' blood in plastic containers, and cans that are said to contain the ''good stuff''."

    "Are they the cans that were in the fridge in my office?"

    "Yes. Unfortunately we had to break the lock off with a hammer to get to them. We''ll pay you for a new one."

    "That''s okay. Just one thing, Kelly." Valerie told her, "The cans are mine. I''d like to have them back."

    "Go ahead Val." Kelly told her, "I''ve got enough for myself."

    Valerie went over to the cooler, lifted the lid, and saw a half dozen plastic containers filled with red liquid, and one six pack of 12 ounce cans, all lying in a pile of ice cubes, taken from the ice machine in the After/Dark. She reached in and removed the six pack.

    Then she said, "There''s a microwave oven in my room. After I''ve warmed up the contents, how''d you like to share some of the good stuff with me?"

    "Valerie." Kelly told her, "Just go back into your room and stay there."

    "If I stay in my room Kelly, I won''t be able to show you my copy of the Vampire''s Handbook."

    "You have a copy?"

    "That''s right. It contains everything that all new vampires, like the two of us should know. It''s been very helpful to me, and it might be even more of a help to you."

    "Even more? In what way?"

    "Well for one thing, you''ll learn that the subtitle is right. Being a vampire doesn''t have to suck. You want to be ready for both Brandon and Dylan, when they return, don''t you?"

    "Right." Kelly smiled. "Valerie, will you please let me take a look at your copy of the Vampire''s Handbook?"

    "Right away." Valerie said, "Kelly, I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

    Out on the road, Dylan and Brandon had resumed driving into Sunnydale.

    Brandon asked, "So do you really want to go looking for this Vampire Slayer?"

    "Not ''til after we''ve found the shrunken head of a former one, and restored Kelly''s soul, and then taken Kelly as far from this Sunnydale as we can get. As for Valerie, she''s on her own."

    "Good enough."

    They drove on further, and were soon moving along Main Street, passing the local Cinema, and a nightclub called the Bronze. They passed a few campaign posters saying, ¡°Vote for Anyanka Jenkins for State Assembly.¡±

    They went a short distance further, along the next block, where they spotted a small shop with a sign above the door identifying the establishment as the "Magic Box". The shop also had a ¡°Vote for Anyanka Jenkins¡± poster displayed in the window. They parked, got out of the car and entered the shop.

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    A bell above the door jingled.

    They''d entered a softly lit establishment consisting of shelves displaying all types of magical paraphernalia, along with ghoulish looking items, such as replicas of skulls, dismembered eyeballs, and other parts of human and non-human anatomies. There were big hairy spider replicas, occultic items, and things that neither Brandon nor Dylan were able to identify. There were also many books about magic, the occult and "Books of Forbidden Knowledge" for anybody to purchase.

    Dylan spoke with disdain. "These are just toys Brandon. It''s all fake. We''re not gonna find what we''re looking for in here."

    A woman standing behind the counter, beside the cash register spoke. "I wouldn''t be that quick to dismiss every item we have in stock sir!"

    The woman, who had a full figure and shoulder length brown hair, was in her mid-twenties. She wore a modest blue business outfit. She stepped around the counter and walked up to the two young guys from Los Angeles. A nametag clipped on her vest identified her as "Anya".

    She spoke firmly. "You gentlemen would be surprised to see, just how genuine and just how powerful, many of the items that we have in stock are."

    Brandon told her, "We aren''t looking for many items. Just one."

    Dylan asked, "You wouldn''t just happen to have a ''genuine'' and ''powerful'' Consecrated Shrunken Head of a Slayer-Vampire Slayer in stock, would you?"

    Anya''s expression changed. She cast an uneasy glance toward the rear of the sales floor, where a large round table stood. Two women around her age were seated at the table, going through some old books. When Dylan spoke the words "Shrunken Head¡­" they both looked up and turned their attention toward him and Brandon.

    Anya sighed. "That may be just too powerful for either of you to deal with. Its misuse has been known to lead to more irreversible harm than anyone could possibly imagine. Besides, it¡¯s not for sale."

    Dylan asked, ¡°Can we ¡®rent¡¯ it for about an hour.¡±

    The woman told him, ¡°Forget it!¡±

    "We don''t want to misuse it," Brandon read her nametag, "''Anya''. We wish above all else, that we didn''t have any need to use it at all, but a woman who we both care for very deeply, is in need of its use."

    The two women who''d been seated at the table had gotten up and come over to them. One was blonde with a light complexion. The other had red hair and freckles.

    "So." The blonde woman spoke with a smirking tone in her voice. "A woman who you both care for very deeply has been vamped, and you want to restore her soul, huh?"

    Dylan spoke with annoyance. "You think that''s funny?"

    "No. I''m just cynical. It comes with the job."

    "Oh? And just what job is that Miss...Miss?"

    She smiled, "That''s Miss Buffy Summers, also known around these parts as ''The Vampire Slayer''."

    Both guys from L.A. looked at each other.

    Brandon said, "Forget it Dylan! We''re out of here! Now!"

    They began to move toward the door. Buffy moved quickly, blocking their way.

    "Get out of our way!" Dylan demanded, "We''re not telling you who she is or where she is; and you''d better not try to follow us!"

    "A vampire with a soul," Buffy told them "isn''t any less dangerous, than a vampire without one."

    Brandon said, "She''s only been drinking pigs'' blood. So far she hasn''t harmed anyone."

    "That''s so far, but eventually the temptation''s going to become too great."

    Now the red haired woman spoke. "Maybe not Buffy. If her soul''s restored, it might make her stronger. Let''s give her a chance."

    "A chance? To bite one of these guys, who care about her so much?"

    "Not just them Buffy. How about giving me a chance too?" She sounded miffed. "You don''t have to be the whole show all the time, you know."

    The Vampire Slayer looked embarrassed at her friend¡¯s words.

    "Sorry Willow." Buffy told her, "If you want to give it a shot, go ahead."

    Brandon asked to other woman, "You''re giving it a shot?"

    "That''s right." The red haired woman reached out her hand and smiled, "Hi. I''m Willow Rosenberg. Resident Witch."

    ¡°¡¯Witch¡¯?¡± Dylan repeated skeptically. "You¡¯re a witch?"

    "That''s right. If you want to restore the soul of the woman who you both love, you''re gonna be needing someone with magical powers to speak the incantation. Without it," she shook her head; "the Shrunken Head of a Slayer-Vampire Slayer, is just a morbid, gruesome, macabre toy, for the children of weirdos to play with. But with me, in spite of what my best friend in all the world, Buffy here said, you''ll both be a lot safer with the woman who you both love."

    ¡°Willow.¡± Brandon said, ¡°I think you¡¯re the one who a Cordelia Chase was talking about.¡±

    ¡°Oh!¡± She smiled proudly. ¡°How do you like that Buffy? Anya? My services have actually been recommended by Cordelia Chase herself!"

 Chapter 12

    Chapter 12

    Inside Motel room 103 at the Sunnydale Motor Lodge, the blinds remained shut, keeping out the late afternoon sunlight. Kelly and Valerie sat on the foot of the bed nearest the door, looking through the pages of Valerie''s copy of the Vampires Handbook.

    Kelly said, "These ''Hunting Trips'' do look very intriguing." She read, ¡°¡®Dining in Mexico. All the hombres you can eat, all the time.¡¯ We can really pig out.¡±

    Valerie pointed to a full colored glossy photo that accompanied the list.

    "That hombre''s the kind of game we''d be hunting. Wouldn''t you just love to try out your brand new fangs in a neck like his? I know I sure would."

    "No." Kelly told her, "To be perfectly honest, I think I''d like to try them out on Brandon, or Dylan."

    "Same here."

    "Or Steve, or even my stepbrother David."

    "All very tempting."

    "But that''s not gonna happen. I''m gonna use self control. Just ''cause I''m now a vampire, it doesn''t mean that I can''t still be a responsible, law abiding citizen."

    "Same here." Valerie said, "I''m gonna be a good girl from now on. My fiery romantic interlude with Egbert was enough for me."

    From beyond the window they heard a car drive up and stop just outside the door. Kelly got up, went over to the blinds and opened one of the slats a crack.

    "They''re back!" She said, "They''re not alone. There''s a woman with them."

    Valerie asked, "The Vampire Slayer?"

    "Who knows?"

    Valerie''s fangs extended. "I''ll be in my room. Knock three times when it''s safe."

    She hurried away from Kelly, dashed through the open adjoining doors, shutting them both behind her. Kelly was now alone in Room 103.

    The door to the outside opened, letting bright glaring daylight into the room, as Dylan and Brandon entered with a red haired woman with freckles. Kelly put her open hands over her eyes, cringing away from the light. Her fangs instinctively extended.

    She shouted. "Shut the door! Please! Shut the door!"

    Dylan did as she asked, and the room returned to its safe dimness. Kelly calmed down.

    "It''s okay Kelly." Dylan said, "Things are gonna start to get better right now."

    The red haired woman looked at Kelly''s fangs uneasily. She smiled. "Hi Kelly. I''m Willow Rosenberg. I''m a Witch, and a very powerful one."

    Kelly looked uneasily at Brandon and Dylan. "A very powerful Witch?"

    "But I use my power for good." Then Willow added, "Usually."

    "Just ''usually''?"

    "Well, there have been some very bad moments, when I''ve really lost it; and gone over to the dark side; but once I''ve worked through my rages, I''ve always come back to being good again."

    "That''s good to know." Kelly remained uneasy. "You''re not in any kind of a rage now, are you?"

    "Nope. Just trying to be helpful. I''ll be doing what I can to restore your soul."

    Brandon repeated the word, "Rages?"

    Dylan was carrying a foot deep, white plastic bag. He reached in and pulled out a dark haired woman¡¯s head, shrunk to the size of a baseball. This was not like the crude shrunken heads, which had been produced by savages in the Amazon Jungle. Her features were not distorted. Her lips and eyelids were not sewn together. The consecrated head wore lipstick, false eyelashes, a pair of earrings, and had neatly set hair. Her eyes were shut, but her lips were parted, displaying a pair of miniature fangs.

    "Here" Dylan said, "is what we¡¯ve come here for. The Consecrated Shrunken Head of Faith the Slayer-Vampire Slayer, originally from Boston."

    Kelly stepped up to him, to take a close look at the head.

    He told her, "If you''re gonna stand this close to me, please retract those fangs."

    She did as he asked.

    Then she asked, "This can restore a vampire''s soul?"

    Brandon said, "We''ve been told that it can, when someone with magical powers speaks the correct incantation in Latin. Miss Rosenberg here does have those powers, and she knows the language."

    ¡°No I don¡¯t.¡± Willow told them, ¡°But that¡¯s okay. It doesn¡¯t actually have to be in Latin. The spell works just as well in English or Spanish, or in any dead language, or living language too.¡±

    Now the door to the adjoining room opened. Valerie stepped through the doorway, back into Room 103. Her fangs remained extended.

    "Hi guys." She spoke to Willow. "Have you got the ability to make this a two for one operation?

    The woman spoke nervously, "Two vampires?"

    "It''s okay." Kelly told them, "We''ve both been drinking pigs¡¯ blood. I''m no longer hungry. How about you Val?"

    "That all depends on her."

    Willow''s voice trembled. "A two-fer''s no problem. The thing is, the operation can only be performed, one restoration at a time."

    "Go ahead." Valerie told her, "We''ve got plenty of time, and neither of us is going anyplace, ¡¯til it gets dark."

    "Good enough." Willow told them, "I think it''s best for me to start with the vampire who''s the greatest danger to others. Would any of you have any idea, which one of these gals that¡¯d be?"

    Brandon, Dylan and Kelly all pointed at Valerie.

    "She is!"

    Valerie rolled her eyes and sighed.

    She said, "Then good for me. I get to go first."

    "Okay." Willow said, "This shouldn''t take too long."

    She reached out cupping her hands, where Dylan placed the Shrunken Head. Then Willow stepped up to Valerie, holding the dead woman¡¯s consecrated head in front of her, with Dylan at her side. He reached in his pocket and took out a cross.

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    Brandon had also stepped up to Kelly, and taken a cross out of his own pocket.

    She and Valerie both cried out, and shielded their eyes while cringing.

    "Sorry girls." Brandon told them, "While she''s performing the restorations, Miss Rosenberg''ll be standing within pouncing distance of a vampire, so we have to play it safe."

    Willow repeated to the trembling Valerie, "It shouldn''t take all that long."

    "Okay!" Valerie snapped, "Get on with it!"

    Then Willow began the incantation.

    "Hear me oh spirit of this undead,

    Body from whom her soul has fled.

    This shrunken head does now restore,

    Her soul into her corpse''s core...¡±

    While Willow spoke, Valerie prayed silently, ¡°Lord have mercy on us poor sinners here.¡±

    Then Valerie gasped. "Uuuuh!" She spoke softly. "Good-bye Egbert."

    Willow also gasped while looking startled.

    She asked Valerie, ¡°You¡¯ve been one of Egbert¡¯s pitchforkings?¡±

    Valerie asked her, ¡°You know about Egbert?¡±

    Willow nodded, ¡°I met him once, during one of my darkest rages.¡± She had a dreamy look on her face. ¡°He gave me a really great prickling with the prongs of that pitchfork of his. Didn¡¯t want him to stop. Ever.¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± Valerie chuckled. ¡°I know what you mean.¡±

    Now Kelly leered playfully. ¡°Yeah. Valerie here¡¯s been telling me about Egbert. She says he gives great pitchfork.¡±

    Willow leered back, ¡°No guy¡¯s ever forked me better.¡±

    Now Dylan asked, ¡°Just who is this ¡®Egbert¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Oh! Sorry.¡± Willow shook herself. ¡°Back to the restoration. Let¡¯s see. Where was I?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Valerie told her, ¡°I¡¯ve stopped cringing.¡±

    Kelly spoke. ¡°So have I.¡±

    Valerie stared straight at the cross in Dylan¡¯s hand, without any fear. Kelly did the same with the cross that Brandon was holding. Both vampire women reached out, and touched those crosses without being harmed.

    Kelly said, ¡°I think this means that both our souls have been restored.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± Willow told them. ¡°I told you it shouldn¡¯t take all that long. My work here is done.¡±

    Valerie said, ¡°And now I¡¯m suddenly hungry.¡±

    Kelly added, ¡°So am I.¡±

    Willow said, ¡°Oops!¡±

    The red haired woman moved back a few steps from Valerie, reached in her handbag, and pulled out a foot long, sharp wooden stake. She raised it to her shoulder height, and stood trembling, looking back and forth between both Kelly and Valerie.

    ¡°Hey!¡± Brandon said, ¡°What are you doing? You¡¯ve just gave them their souls back!¡±

    ¡°Sorry.¡± Willow told them, ¡°You see, now that their souls are restored, they¡¯re a pair of hungry vampire girls, who can no longer be held off by those crosses you¡¯re holding. I should have explained that before, but it completely slipped my mind.¡±

    Kelly spoke sharply, ¡°Calm down lady! We¡¯ve got all the blood we need right here!¡±

    She pointed toward the cooler on the floor.

    Valerie added, ¡°And it¡¯s all the legal stuff.¡±

    Dylan asked, ¡°That should be enough, shouldn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°Hopefully.¡± Willow shook her head, ¡°No guarantee about that.¡±

    Brandon asked, ¡°Do you want either Dylan or I to give you a ride back into town?¡±

    ¡°No. It¡¯ll be better for everyone here, if both of you drive me back and don¡¯t return.¡±

    Dylan asked, ¡°Don¡¯t return? Forget it! They¡¯ve got all the blood they need right here.¡±

    Willow said, ¡°I still wouldn¡¯t trust either of them.¡±

    Brandon said, ¡°But you don¡¯t know Kelly. With her soul restored, she¡¯ll be the woman she was before; and the way she was before, was never violent.¡±

    Willow looked at Valerie. ¡°What about her? Before now, could you trust her?¡±

    Dylan and Brandon both looked uncomfortable.

    Valerie sighed and rolled her eyes again. ¡°It¡¯s okay. As long as I¡¯ve got enough pigs¡¯ blood to drink, everyone¡¯ll be safe with me. Listen. Dylan and I are part owners of a nightclub in Los Angeles. I¡¯m not gonna do anything that¡¯ll lead to me losing my share in it. Is that good enough?¡±

    Both guys shrugged and nodded.

    Dylan said, ¡°Sounds reasonable to me.¡±

    Brandon said, ¡°Right.¡±

    Kelly nodded her head.

    ¡°Okay.¡± Willow told them, ¡°If you guys want to spend your time with a pair of sexy vampire gals, I understand it; but remember, you¡¯ve been warned.¡±

    Miss Rosenberg, still holding the shrunken head, went to the door and opened it, letting in the glaring light of late afternoon, causing both Kelly and Valerie to cringe out of its way. Then Kelly growled. Willow hurried out the door and slammed it shut behind herself.

    Kelly then moved over and stood with her back against the door, blocking the way out. Her fangs were now extended. Valerie also moved and shut the door to the adjoining room, while she extended her own fangs.

    ¡°So tell us, guys.¡± Kelly asked, ¡°Just what do you two want to do with us sexy vampire gals, who are suddenly both very hungry, and against who you no longer have any defense?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± Valerie grinned. ¡°What do you say, Mr. McKay. How¡¯d you like to party, with a gal who¡¯s got a nice big pair of fangs on her, for you and she to play with?¡±

    A grinning Kelly asked, ¡°How about you Brandon? Want to see what kind of fun we can have?¡±

    He and Dylan glanced nervously at each other.

    Brandon asked uneasily, ¡°You girls are both kidding, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    Valerie asked, ¡°What do you say Kelly? Are we kidding?¡±

    ¡°That depends. Does your guy Egbert have a friend? The next time you go to meet him; I might want to come along and make it a double date.¡±

 Chapter 13

    Chapter 13

    Inside room 103 of the Sunnydale Motor Lodge, a cellphone rang. It was clipped to Dylan''s belt. Kelly and Valerie stopped playfully teasing him and Brandon with their fangs. They all turned their attention to the ringing phone.

    Dylan took the device out of its pouch and put it to his ear.

    "Hello." He asked, "Who is this?"

    "Hi Dylan." The caller said, "This is David."

    "Hi David." He looked at the others.

    Valerie exclaimed, "Don''t tell him I''m here!"

    Dylan told Kelly, "He wants to talk to you."

    She moved away from the door she''d been blocking, and went over to Dylan. He handed her the cellphone, and she put it too her ear, while retracting her fangs.

    "Hi David." she said.

    Over the phone, Kelly''s stepbrother''s voice was tense. "So how are things going?"

    "It''s hard to say." She told him, "Someone who calls herself a Witch just spoke some kind of ''incantation''. Now I won''t be cringing at the sight of a cross."

    Brandon, Dylan and Valerie all looked tense.

    David asked, "You mean you''ve got your soul back?"

    "I really can''t say. I''ve still got the fangs," she hesitated, "and the temptation." She looked nervously at both guys in the room, who appeared to be as nervous as she. "The temptation is just as strong."

    "But you''ve still got the pigs blood with you?"

    "Yes. I''m sure the packaged blood can last at least a few days."

    David asked, "Could you put Dylan back on? There''s someone here at the Club. He has some business he wants to discuss with one of the owners."

    "Dylan." She held the phone out to him. "David says there''s someone with him now, who wants to discuss some Club business with you."

    Dylan came over, took the phone from her hand and put it against his ear.

    "Yeah. What is it David?"

    There was tension in the Club D/J''s voice. "There''s a lawyer here named Lindsey McDonald. He wants to talk to you. He says you spoke with him earlier today."

    "Lindsey McDonald?"

    Valerie gasped.

    Dylan said, "Put him on."

    Valerie repeated nervously, "Don''t tell him I''m here."

    The voice Dylan had heard earlier, now spoke over the phone. "Mr. McKay?"

    "Speaking."

    "Lindsey McDonald here. Listen carefully."

    "You have my full attention."

    "I spoke with your business partner, Miss Valerie Malone earlier today. I also spoke with her on the night when she first revived as a vampire."

    "When she first revived?"

    Dylan looked over at the very tense Valerie.

    "Yes. On Tuesday night, she was brought to my office at Wolfram and Hart Headquarters. She and I made a certain agreement concerning her part ownership of the After/Dark Nightclub."

    Dylan asked Valerie, "You made an agreement about the Club with Wolfram and Hart?"

    She nodded and looked away from him. Brandon and Kelly also looked troubled.

    Mr. McDonald continued, "The agreement is that either she signs over her entire interest in the After/Dark Nightclub to Wolfram and Hart, or the police will be informed about the illegal drug dealing and bookmaking that''s been going on in your establishment, Mr. McKay."

    Dylan, who''d been away for months said, "Illegal drugs and bookmaking?"

    The Lawyer told him, "Along with Miss Malone getting a percentage of every transaction."

    He looked at Valerie. "A percentage?"

    Valerie again looked away from him, and now didn''t look at Brandon or Kelly either.

    "I see." Dylan spoke with a grim tone. "Extortion. You''re running a protection racket."

    Kelly gasped softly, exchanging a troubled look with Brandon.

    The man on the phone had an amused tone in his voice. "We at Wolfram and Hart prefer to call it ''Insurance''."

    "So what do you want Mr. McDonald?"

    "What we want is for Miss Malone to come to Wolfram and Hart Headquarters anytime tonight, and sign over her interest in the After/Dark Nightclub to us, Mr. McKay."

    "Her interest? Tonight?"

    "Any time between sunset and sunrise."

    "And if she doesn''t?"

    "Then Miss Malone will be only the first of your employees or customers, who will have a new pair of fangs. One employee or customer will be vamped every night, until she comes in and signs."

    Dylan said, "Miss Malone just happens to be in hiding. Nobody knows how to contact her."

    "We understand the situation Mr. McKay. Since she is unavailable, we''d like you to come to Wolfram and Hart Headquarters, in her place. I''m sure we can make some kind of arrangement, that will be agreeable to both yourself and to us, and perhaps to Miss Malone also."

    Dylan heard Lindsey McDonald''s phone click off. Then he removed the cellphone from his ear.

    "Dylan." Kelly nervously pointed to the cellphone. "I''d like to talk to David, and make sure that he''s all right."

    "Sorry." He handed the cellphone back to her. "This Mr. McDonald just hung up.

    "Valerie!" Dylan spoke sharply to the trembling vampire woman. "You''ve been allowing bookmaking and drug dealing at the Club?"

    Kelly and Brandon both looked at her. She looked away from them.

    "Oh!" Brandon said, "Is that''s what''s been going on? I''ve noticed that some of the new regulars look like people who it''d be best to avoid."

    Valerie spoke with a trembling voice. "Sorry."

    Stolen story; please report.

    Dylan spoke sharply. "You''re ''sorry''? He said that you''ve been getting a percentage of every transaction."

    "Not any more." Now her voice was firm. "It''s over! I was killed because I was involved in it! And I went to Hell because I was involved in it too! That was enough for me! Now I''ve been given a second chance; so the Club''s not gonna be involved in any of it from now on!"

    Dylan told her, "Not according to Lindsey McDonald. He wants you to go down to Wolfram and Hart Headquarters tonight, and sign over your entire interest in the Club to them."

    "Forget it!" She repeated to them all, "It''s over!"

    "It isn''t over. You''ll be getting other people killed by vampires, if you refuse."

    "If I do sign over my interests, they''ll be getting killed by them anyway Dylan!"

    Dylan shook his head and sighed. Then he spoke.

    "You were right Valerie." He told her, "I am your business partner. Whether I like it or not, ''Mr. Spoiled Rich Guy'' here, should have occasionally shown some interest in the Club."

    They were now all quiet, for a very long, uncomfortable moment.

    Finally Brandon asked, "Mr. McKay. Since Valerie refuses to sign over her interest in the Club to Wolfram and Hart, is there something else you can do, to keep your employees and us customers safe from vampires?"

    Dylan nodded. "Shut down the Club."

    Valerie shouted, "Shut it down? No Dylan, you can''t give up just like that! Maybe you can afford the loss, but I can''t. Neither can David, or Jorge or Yolanda, or everyone else who''s employed by us!"

    Brandon said, "She''s right. You can''t."

    Kelly nodded in agreement.

    "Then tell me Val," Dylan said, "and both of you; what do you suggest I do to assure the safety of all of our employees and customers?"

    There was another long, uncomfortable moment of silence. Then Dylan spoke.

    "Kelly." He said, "Do you want to call David back? I''d like to talk to him again."

    She took the cellphone and dialed David''s number. Then she handed the device back to Dylan, who held it to his ear and waited.

    "Hi David. It''s Dylan. Are you okay, and is that McDonald guy still there?"

    "No." David spoke with a peeved tone. "He''s gone, and I''m okay. Nobody''s been hurt, and nothing''s damaged, at least for now."

    "Listen." Dylan told him, "Mr. McDonald just informed me that drug dealing and bookmaking have been going on in the club, during the time that I''ve been away."

    "Well Dylan...You see..."

    "You don''t have to tell me anything. Just listen. If you just happen to know any drug dealers, or bookmakers, I want you to inform them that none of them will be welcomed inside the After/Dark Nightclub, beginning tonight."

    David sounded very uneasy. "Me? Tell guys with Underworld connections that they''re unwelcomed? Yeah-right. Like they''re gonna listen to me."

    "Tell them that if they continue to show up, they''ll have to deal with the Club''s manager, Miss Valerie Malone, who is now a vampire; along with Miss Kelly Taylor, who also has a brand new pair of fangs that she''s just aching to try out."

    Kelly smiled. "I''d just love to take a ''bite out of crime''. Wouldn''t you Val?"

    Valerie smiled and nodded. "Wouldn''t feel bad about it later, like I would if it was Brandon or Dylan, or any of the other..."

    "Okay." David now spoke very nervously. "I''d like to wait, before I say anything to the bookies or dealers, until at least one of those girls is actually here, on the premises."

    "Could you hold on a minute?"

    Dylan spoke to Valerie and Kelly. "Now that both of you''ve got your souls back, will it be safe for either of you to go outside in the daylight?"

    The women looked at each other, shook their heads and shrugged doubtfully.

    "I''m not sure." Kelly said, "After the way that the blanket and the towel started smoking, I''d rather not take a chance."

    Valerie nodded, "Me neither."

    Dylan spoke into the phone again. "It''s okay David. Me, and at least one of them will be back at the After/Dark, with her fangs on full display, before 9 o''clock tonight."

    "That''s tonight Dylan. What about tomorrow, and the rest of the nights following?"

    "Listen." Dylan told him, "I''d like you to call that Ms. Chase again. Tell her that Mr. Dylan McKay and Miss Valerie Malone would like to hire the Angel Investigations Agency, to provide security for the After/Dark Nightclub, of which we are part owners."

    Valerie was startled. "I would? Hire ''Angel Investigations''?"

    Over the phone David said, "Hire private security? Good idea."

    "Okay. You call them, and have them call me back."

    Dylan hung up and handed the cellphone back to Kelly.

    He said, "I have no idea what I''m doing. Valerie, do you think that this Angel Investigations Agency, along with two sexy vampire gals, will be enough to stop Wolfram and Hart from harassing our customers and employees?"

    "That depends just how serious they are, about taking over the After/Dark."

    He looked at Brandon and Kelly. "Do either of you have any suggestions?"

    Kelly suggested, "I don''t know if this''ll help. Do you want to also hire that Witch who was just in here? Have her come with us to L.A. and bring the shrunken head with her. She might be able to restore the souls of all the vampires who work for Wolfram and Hart"

    "That''s right." Valerie told him, "Make them as harmless as Kelly and me."

    Dylan asked, "And just how harmless is that?"

    Kelly smiled, again displaying her fully extended fangs; so did Valerie.

    "You and Brandon" Kelly said "are both still alive."

 Chapter 14

    Chapter 14

    A half-hour after sunset that evening, the door to the Magic Box opened. Anyanka looked up from behind the counter. One guy stepped through the doorway. He was one of the two from L.A, who''d been in here earlier that afternoon. He was accompanied by a blonde woman with a good figure, in her early twenties.

    Willow now sat alone at the large round table near the back of the selling floor, again looking over some books.

    She raised her hand, and wiggled her fingers in Brandon and Kelly''s direction.

    "Hi there." She spoke cautiously. "How''re you doin''?"

    "Good evening." Brandon told her, "How we''re doing, remains to be seen."

    She called out to Anya, "She''s one of the vampire gals I re-ensouled this afternoon!"

    Brandon and Kelly looked around cautiously. They saw no other customers. The proprietor nodded and looked at both customers with caution.

    She asked Brandon, "Where''s that other guy you came in here with?"

    Willow added, "And the other gal, who you were in the motel room with?"

    "They had to go back to L.A. They''re part owners of a Sunset Strip nightclub, and they''ve got some business they have to deal with immediately."

    Now Anya told them. "There was a vampire woman who showed up at Willy''s Place last night. She said she owned an L.A. nightclub. There was a volley-head game on the TV. She asked Willy how to arrange for a closed circuit hookup, so they could start showing the Demonic Games live, at her place."

    "Demonic Games?" Brandon repeated, "''Volley-head''?"

    Kelly''s eyes lit up. "You mean they really do knock decapitated human heads back and forth over a net?"

    "That''s right." The woman nodded. "The recreational activity they were engaged in is no game for wussies."

    The vampire gal smiled, "Oh I think that''s wonderful! I''d love to attend a game!"

    Brandon said uneasily, "You would?"

    Kelly nodded happily.

    "I understand that." he told her "You being a new vampire and all, but don''t expect me to be buying any tickets."

    "Oh Brandon." She pouted. "Don''t be a wus."

    "A ''wus''?"

    Anya told him, "That''s right Mister. ''Wus''."

    "Now just a minute!"

    She spoke to Kelly. "I tell you gal, this entire Dimension is dying from Wussyism."

    She repeated what she''d told the other vampire woman who she''d met the night before.

    "I remember back in the Demon Realm, when I attended ole'' Beelzebub High. All our team sports were genuine massacres; and everyone who got killed, had his or her head impaled on a stake.

    "During my senior year, I fought as a member of the girls'' squad, on the Gladiator Team. I killed more than a dozen opponents, and I got killed myself four times, and each time that happened, my own head was impaled on a stake.

    "Then the next day, our headless bodies stood up, walked over to the stakes, picked up our heads, and put them back on."

    Now Kelly gasped softly. "That''s where I was. That''s what I was dong; and I was enjoying it."

    Brandon looked at her, with a very puzzled expression. "You were there? ''Doing''...? ''Enjoying''?"

    She nodded, "Just a vague memory. That was after I was killed and before I became undead. I was in Hell; though it wasn''t anywhere near as bad as where Valerie ended up. I was actually enjoying myself; or maybe I was just hallucinating."

    "That was no hallucination." Anya told her, "You were frolicking in Good Girls Hell."

    "That''s right." Kelly said, "Now I''m beginning to remember. That''s exactly where I was, and exactly what I was doing."

    "Frolicking?" Brandon asked, "In Hell? There''s a Hell for ''Good Girls''?"

    The woman told him, "A lot of good girls do go to Hell sir."

    "But Kelly? " He asked, "In any kind of Hell?"

    Kelly told him, "It was no surprise to me Brandon. Is it really a surprise to you?"

    Now Kelly spoke with scorn. "Too bad those games can only be played in the demon realm."

    Anya told her, "Well you can always purchase DVDs of the events."

    Brandon repeated, "''DVDs''?"

    "Right." The woman pointed across the selling floor. "We have a whole shelf full of them.

    "Like you said." The proprietor told Kelly, "It''s too bad you can only watch them on DVDs. Now personally, those are the kind of games I''d like see them start playing here at our local alma mater, Sunnydale High, but it''s just never gonna stop being a wussy school."

    "Hey! Anya!" Willow called out. "That''s going too far! When I was a Sunnydale Cheerleader, more than half of us got vamped! We knew the danger, but we cheered, and waved those pom-poms at those night games anyway! The guys said I was ''good pussy'' not ''wussy''!"

    Kelly sighed. "Oh, I wish I''d attended high school here!"

    Brandon looked uneasily at her again, making a troubled groan.

    She spoke to him. "You know Brandon, that Handbook is right. Being a vampire doesn''t have to suck."

    Now he spoke to Anya. "You''ve actually lived in the ''Demon Realm''? You attended a ''Beelzebub High''?"

    "That''s correct. Mr." She hesitated, "By the way what is your name?"

    Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

    "I''m Brandon Walsh. She is Miss Kelly Taylor."

    "Hello both of you. I am a demon in human form, who has just celebrated her 1146th birthday."

    Willow had got up from the table and come over to them.

    She chuckled, "And none of us have any idea of how she was able to blow out all those candles on her birthday cake."

    Brandon repeated, "Demon?"

    "That''s right. My name''s Anyanka Jenkins, of the Demonic Order of Beelzebub."

    Brandon interrupted, "Anyanka Jenkins?" He pointed to the poster in the front window. "Are you the one who''s running for the State Assembly?"

    "Yes." She told him, "That Candidate is me."

    He sounded puzzled. "A Demon''s qualified to run for Government Office?"

    "Why certainly." She told him. "I am an American Citizen of Demonic Background, who is well qualified to represent the, shall we say ''unique'' Constituency of this Assembly District; and I am campaigning against the widespread domination of Wussyism in our culture."

    Kelly said, "Good. We demonic and undead beings do deserve to be represented. Don''t you agree Brandon?"

    He hesitated. Then he said "If the local voters agree, why not?"

    She went on, "And as a brand new vampire, I agree with Ms. Jenkins. We''ve just got to get rid of all this Wussyism; beginning with yours."

    Now Brandon said, "Wait a minute!"

    Kelly spoke sharply. "You don''t agree?"

    He told her, "Let''s get out of here now, Kelly."

    "No Brandon. Remember why we''re here. We need her help!"

    The demon woman asked, "Help in what way?"

    Brandon told her, "It''s our friends Dylan McKay, who was in here with me, and the other vampire woman who you met last night, and who Willow here re-ensouled a few hours ago. It''s like she told you. They are owners of a nightclub in L.A. There is an organization named Wolfram and Hart, that''s trying to take over the business."

    Willow gasped. She and Anyanka both looked troubled.

    "Wolfram and Hart?" Anya said, "They''re a very dangerous organization, to both the living and the undead, along with us demonic beings too."

    "Yeah." Brandon told her. "That''s what we''ve been hearing from everybody. They''ll be too much for our friends to deal with on their own, and we''ve been wondering if there''s some way you might be able to help."

    "Against Wolfram and Hart?" The Demon woman spoke seriously. "Believe me, they are beings who everybody, both human and demonic, should be careful dealing with; especially humans. It''s best for humans to avoid dealing with them totally."

    Kelly said, "But our human friends are in trouble with them; and we have to do something to help."

    Brandon spoke to Willow. "Can we use your help again? Maybe you can speak the same incantation that restored Kelly''s and Valerie''s souls. Do the same for the folks who work at Wolfram and Hart?"

    The troubled Willow shook her head, "I''m sorry. I was able to handle two vampires who hadn''t killed anyone yet. They were also willing to repent and be re-ensouled; but if a vampire''s unwilling and unrepentant, that just not possible. Then there''s another thing. When it comes to the demonically owned and operated Wolfram and Hart, which does not encourage repentance, I''d just be taking on too much.

    "I''m sorry." She sighed. "I''d really like to help, but what you''re asking is way beyond my powers, or the powers in the Consecrated Shrunken Head of the late Slayer-Vampire-Slayer, Faith, who was originally from Boston."

    "Is it really?" Now Kelly asked, "What was all this talk about being opposed to Wussyism?"

    The red haired Witch glared at her. "Now just a minute lady!"

    "Hold it!" Anya shouted.

    Willow stopped glaring. She and Kelly calmed down.

    Brandon now spoke to State Assembly Candidate Anyanka Jenkins. "I understand you can''t give us any direct help; but is there anything at all, that Kelly and I could do on our own, that wouldn''t involve you, but might at least give our friends some kind of protection?"

    "There is one thing." The demon woman nodded. She asked Kelly, "Are you along with the other woman, who Willow re-ensouled with you, willing to lose your souls again?"

    "Lose our souls again?"

    The woman spoke to Brandon. "Are you willing to lose yours too? Is the other woman''s business partner? If all of you are willing, then you can have yourselves demonized. Then you and your friends will all be powerful enough, to deal with whatever Wolfram and Hart sends against them."

    He said, "Oh forget it! Let''s get out of here now Kelly!"

    "No! We have to protect our friends."

    "But have ourselves demonized?"

    Kelly ignored him and spoke directly to the demonic woman. "Tell me. Exactly what would I have to do, to get myself demonized?"

    "Well you would have to travel to the Demonic Realm of Beelzebub."

    "Travel?" Kelly chuckled, "Well from the way you''ve described it, I''m sure it would be a really fun place to visit." She gave Brandon a condescending look. "At least for someone who isn''t a wussy."

    "Oh it is!" Ms. Jenkins cheerfully pointed toward a rack of brochures near the door. "Plenty of Scheduled Tours, and if you''d like, you can purchase a video."

 Chapter 15

    Chapter 15

    The time was between 7:30 and 8 o''clock on Saturday night, when Dylan McKay drove into the parking lot of the After/Dark Nightclub, with me, Valerie the Vampire, lying curled up in a very uncomfortable position, inside the stifling, stinking trunk of my own car.

    Just before we''d left the motel room at the Sunnydale Motor Lodge, Dylan told me, "I''d like you to ride in the trunk Valerie."

    "That''s not necessary Dylan." I told him, "I can duck down in the back seat, and out of direct sunlight, until it gets dark."

    "I''m sorry Val. Once it gets dark, you''ll still be a vampire, and I just have to take extra precautions."

    "No you don''t Dylan." I told him, "I''ve got my soul back, so you can trust me; just like Brandon trusts Kelly."

    "No I can''t Valerie." He said, "I couldn''t trust you the last time you had a soul, so why should I trust you now?"

    I couldn''t think of a good answer to that.

    I know the subtitle of the Vampire''s Handbooks says, "Being a vampire doesn''t have to suck." During that ride back to the City, believe me it did; totally.

    My nighttime drive, when I''d gone out to Sunnydale at 2 o''clock in the morning, had taken me about two hours. Now we''d returned at the height of the evening rush, so the journey seemed to take twice as long, and I''d felt every single bounce and bump along the way. Like I said, it was stifling, and stinking, and the trunk was filled with fumes from the engine exhaust. If I wasn''t already dead, I would have died from asphyxiation then and gone back to Hell, where I''d now be squirming and squealing naked, while impaled for all eternity, upon the fiery pitchfork of Egbert, with whom I''m totally in love.

    As we''d drove along I kept checking my watch. The time was passing much more slowly than I''d thought.

    The sun must have set by now, I''d thought, but Dylan just isn''t gonna pull over and let me out, so I won''t be riding in the passenger compartment.

    So repent you sinners.

    The car finally stopped moving. The engine shut off, and the trunk finally opened.

    Dylan stood above me, under the dim lighting of the After/Dark''s parking lot. I heard the sounds of heavy traffic passing by along the Sunset Strip, along with the muffled melody of live music coming from inside the Club.

    He stood there looking me over, with a troubled expression on his face.

    "Valerie." He said, "You look like hell."

    "And you''re a real gentleman Dylan." I groaned. "Aren''t you?"

    He reached into the trunk and helped me climb out. I was finally standing on the ground, out of the exhaust fumes, and in the fresh air.

    Dylan had waited ''til no one was in the parking lot, before he''d opened the trunk and pulled me out. Now a car drove up and parked in a nearby space. A couple of guys got out of the vehicle, and headed for the Club''s entrance. They looked at me, in the dim lighting, and actually winced.

    I actually heard one of them say, "Who the hell''d want to fuck that?"

    I asked Dylan, "Just how bad do I look anyway?"

    He told me, "You heard what he said."

    I looked down at myself. After all those hours lying curled up inside the trunk, my dress was wrinkled and grimy. My arms and legs were also covered with grime. I was sure that my face and hair were also a grimy mess, and that I smelled like the inside of the trunk.

    I told him, "Let''s use the employees'' entrance."

    We went around the side of the building. He was carrying a plastic bag, containing the six-pack of blood from my office fridge that he and Brandon had brought along on their journey with Kelly. The returning pack now contained five cans of pigs blood.

    I told him, "You put those back in the fridge in my office. I''ll do what I can to clean myself up in the ladies room."

    "Right."

    We stepped through the employees'' entrance. He headed for the office, while I entered the ladies room. There were two women in front of the mirror. One of them was Donna Martin, David the D/Js fiancee, who was also his assistant in the D/J booth. The other woman was a customer who I didn''t recognize.

    Donna turned at the sound of the door opening. When she saw me she gasped and looked horrified.

    I took one look at the mirror and I thought that the guy in the parking lot had been right. If I was a guy, I wouldn''t have wanted to fuck me either.

    I spoke to the trembling assistant D/J. "Good evening Donna."

    "Hu...Hi Valerie. Are you okay?"

    "Yeah." I waved my arm toward the mirror. "At least not as bad as I look."

    Now the other woman also gasped.

    "No reflection." She said softly, "Vampire."

    I stepped up to the mirror, while the trembling two backed away.

    "Don''t'' worry!" I spoke with a hoarse tone. "I''ve already eaten."

    The other woman spoke nervously. "You have?"

    Donna also sounded frightened. "Anyone we know?"

    I growled, "Two pit bulls and a rotweiller! I didn''t ask their names!"

    The two of them were out of the room immediately.

    I tried to wash off all the grime from my face, using paper towels. I''m glad we have towel dispensers along with the blow dryers.

    With these towels, I thought, I can''t do all that much to clean myself up in here. I''ll just have to wait ''til I get home.

    Home? Where is that?

    Now the door to the restroom opened slowly. Another woman cautiously stepped in. She wore a stylish outfit, had stylishly set hair and carried a long, sharp wooden stake that she''d taken out of her open handbag. She held the stake at shoulder height, while pointing it at me. I felt my fangs instinctively extend.

    I turned toward her and spoke. "Good evening Ms. Chase."

    Cordelia said, "So you''ve come back."

    "That''s right." I nodded, "I was accompanied by my business partner Dylan McKay, who authorized David Silver to hire your Angel Investigations Agency, as private security for this Nightclub, that is co-owned by both Mr. McKay and myself."

    She reached into her handbag, took out a cross and held it out in my direction.

    I didn''t wince. She looked startled; and like she was ready to pounce.

    "It''s okay Cordelia." I told her, "Both Kelly Taylor and I have had our souls restored. And by the way, she''s identified her real killer, as your former classmate Harmony."

    "Restored?" The woman asked, "In Sunnydale?"

    "That''s right, by a Witch named Willow Rosenberg, who spoke an incantation over the Consecrated Shrunken Head of the late Slayer-Vampire, Faith from Boston."

    "Willow?"

    "That''s right." I smiled, "I hear she''s another former high school classmate of yours. She was honored to hear that her services were recommended by you."

    Cordelia relaxed slightly, but still kept the stake ready.

    "Now tell me." I asked, "How are things going, when it comes to security, here in my nightclub?"

    "So far," She cautiously lowered the stake. "We''ve hung crosses over all the entrances; so no vampires have been able to enter, except you, and that''s because your soul''s been restored. There hasn''t been any trouble tonight."

    "What about the drug dealers and bookies?"

    "David Silver didn''t say anything about them when he hired us. He said he wanted us to watch out for vampires, and that''s what we''ve been doing. We''ve hung the crosses, and that should be enough."

    "Not enough for any drug dealers or bookies," I told her, "who aren''t vampires. They can''t be stopped by the sight of any cross. Now will you please step aside Ms. Chase, so I can get to my office, and resume the running of my own Club?"

    She moved a few steps to the side, but kept the stake raised as I walked past her with my fangs extended. Then I halted at the doorway and looked back at her.

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    I said, "Do you want to come with me to the office Cordelia? We''ve got some business to discuss."

    I stepped through the ladies room doorway, and out onto the dimly lit main floor of the After/Dark, where the crowd was as thick, and the hired band as noisy as you''d expect in a Club along the Sunset Strip on a Saturday night.

    I put a few customers between myself and Cordelia. She''d put her stake and cross back inside her handbag and I''d retracted my fangs.

    As I made my way through the raucous crowd, with Cordelia a few steps behind me, I found myself face to face with Yolanda. She was carrying a tray with three drinks. She was startled, and began to shake, but she managed not to spill the drinks.

    "It''s okay Yolanda." I told her. "I''m not going to harm you, or Jorge, or anybody."

    The waitress hurried away from me, and went over to the table where the drinks had been ordered. Steve was seated there, along with Donna, and Brandon''s sister Brenda. Yolanda spoke to them, and they all looked in my direction. I looked away from them.

    I then noticed one of the bookies who''d been operating at the club. He was seated alone at a table with a cocktail in front of him.

    I looked back at Miss Chase and called out. "Do you want to wait for me in my office Cordelia? There''s something I have to take care of first."

    She moved away from following me, and made her way through the crowd toward my office. I headed over to the table, where the bookie was speaking with some guy who stood beside him.

    I said to the bookie, "Hello Duke."

    Duke was in his early fifties, plump and balding.

    He spoke without warmth. "Good evening Valerie."

    "I''m not sorry to tell you this, but you''re no longer welcomed here."

    He spoke to the guy standing beside him. "Do you want to wait a minute?"

    I told the guy, "You can wait for him outside!"

    The guy backed away into the crowd.

    "What is it Val?" Duke asked, "You want a bigger cut?"

    "No." I told him, "It''s over. I''ve been getting a lot of heat, and I don''t want any trouble here; so you can tell all the other bookies and dealers, that they''re no longer welcomed inside the After/Dark. You can all take your business someplace else."

    He spoke calmly. "That''ll be a big mistake on your part, Miss Malone. The people who we work for aren''t going to like hearing about this, and you''ll be sorry you kicked us out."

    Now I extended my fangs. "Not as sorry as they''ll be, if they try giving us trouble. They might find themselves having to deal with Wolfram and Hart."

    He got up quickly and headed out the door. The guy he''d been talking to went with him.

    Now that was done. I made my way through the crowd to the opposite side of the floor, where I finally entered my office.

    I''d hoped to be alone at last, at least for a few moments, but that would have to wait. My office was already occupied by Dylan, who was seated behind my desk, and by David who stood beside him, along with Cordelia Chase. I groaned again as I stepped up to the desk.

    Dylan said, "So we''re all here."

    "If we''re having an official meeting," I snapped, "of which I wasn''t informed, do you want to get out of my seat, Mr. McKay?"

    I think my fangs must have still been extended. He got up out of that seat really fast. The others moved away quickly too.

    Then, after the ride back from Sunnydale, bouncing and banging around in the trunk of my car, I finally got to sit down in a comfortable chair.

    Dylan, David and Cordelia now stood a good distance away from the desk.

    "Well," I said, "here''s one advantage to having a pair of vampire fangs. People will make room for you.

    "Now to get down to business; I just threw out one of the bookies. I told him to let the other bookies and drug dealers know that they''re no longer welcomed in here. I also told him that if any of the ''Big Boys'' tries to give us trouble about that, they might find themselves dealing with Wolfram and Hart."

    The other three looked uncomfortably at one another.

    Dylan asked, "Does that mean that you''ve decided to sign the Club over to Wolfram and Hart, Valerie?"

    "What it means," I told them all, "is that I''d like to hear some suggestions, about what''ll have to be done, to keep that from happening."

    Cordelia spoke. "Well it''s like I told you, we''ve got crosses nailed over every entrance."

    I told her, "That''ll keep them from coming inside the Club, but it can''t stop them from harassing our employees or regular customers, when they''re outside the Club. They can follow them anywhere."

    She suggested, "Supposing you hand out crosses on chains to all your employees and customers? If they wear them around their necks, that should be enough to keep them from being harassed. We can supply them to you."

    I said, "I''m not sure just how effective that''ll be, but it''s worth a shot."

    Now Dylan''s cell phone rang. He took it out of his pocket, put it to his ear and listened.

    "Hi Brandon." He asked, "How''s Kelly?"

    He listened for a long moment.

    Then he said, "You want her to learn how to control her blood lust?"

    I said, "Let me talk to him."

    Dylan came over to the desk, handed me his cell phone, and quickly backed away.

    I then spoke into the device. "Hi Brandon. Controlling a new vampire''s blood lust is a good idea." I quoted Harmony. "''Can''t have a brand new vampire going off the deep end and biting the first live person she sees.'' Could you put Kelly on?"

    I waited a moment, until I heard Kelly''s voice.

    "Listen." I told her, "If you want help controlling your bloodlust..."

    "Not all that much!" She told me, "Brandon''s just being a real wus."

    "That''s okay. Believe me, I know what you mean. I feel the exact same way. But you do understand that you do have to keep out of trouble, don''t you?"

    She sighed regretfully. "Yeah. I know, I know, but..."

    "Do you still have all the blood that we left you in the cooler?"

    "Yeah. There''s plenty, the problem is, that I wish that there wasn''t."

    "Listen." I told her, "When I was being held at Wolfram and Hart, I learned about an organization of born again Christian vampires, that''s helps vamps like us, when it comes to controlling our bloodlust. It''s called ''Blood Suckers Anonymous''. They meet regularly at ''The First Presbyterian Church of Vampires''."

    Dylan and David looked startled again, while Cordelia Chase nodded.

    Dylan said, "''Blood Suckers Anonymous''?"

    David repeated, "''Born again Christian vampires''?"

    Cordelia said, "She can trust them. They know what they''re doing. There''s a congregation right there in Sunnydale. They meet for worship on Sunday nights. They''ll be meeting tomorrow night at 9 PM."

    Over the phone, Kelly said, "That''s good to know. I''ll keep it in mind." She hesitated, and then added, "For future reference."

    I asked "''Future reference''?"

    Kelly asked, "How are things at the After/Dark?"

    "Well, as of right now, we''ve got everything secured, but that''s just as of right now."

    "Then listen Valerie. Brandon and I have been in contact with someone who''s a member of the Demonic Order of Beelzebub. With their help, you''ll be able to easily defeat whoever, or whatever Wolfram and Hart sends against you."

    I said, "You''re trying to get me help from a Demonic order?"

    "That''s right. Tell me Val. Are you still in love with Egbert?"

    "Forget it Kelly!" I shouted. "Don''t have anything to do with demons!"

    "Hey! I am trying to help!"

    "If you really do want to help, then stay away from demons. Don''t bring any of them to the After/Dark. Stay away from demons; and if you want to help yourself, ''repent you sinner''! Then attend Worship at the Vampire Church tomorrow night."

 Chapter 16

    Chapter 16

    I spent the rest of that night in my office at the After/Dark, stretched out on a cot that had been collecting dust in a supply closet. After my escape to Sunnydale and return from there, along with everything else that had happened during the night before and in the daylight hours, I was totally exhausted. I asked to be left alone.

    I''d got rid of the bookies and the dealers. Cordelia''s displayed crosses would be keeping the vampires away, and I figured that the staff could handle any of the usual problems that might happen on a typical Saturday night.

    Whatever else happened at the Club, on that Saturday night, no one on the staff knocked on the office door.

    Of course they wouldn''t knock! Who in their right mind''s gonna do anything to disturb a vampire who''s in a grumpy mood?

    I couldn''t sleep. It was night time, and I was a vampire, so I wouldn''t be able to sleep until after sunrise anyway. I just lay there on the cot trying to relax, but there were still too many things to worry about; like where was I going to live? ("unlive"?) I''d been renting a room at the Walsh'' house, but now, with my new fangs, there was no way that Brandon would allow me to stay there any longer. Neither would anyone else.

    I could always rent an apartment. As long as I didn''t let any prospective landlord see my fangs, renting from one shouldn''t be a problem. I''d also have enough sense not to show them to any of the neighborhood kids.

    I just lay there, listening to the muffled sounds of that night''s hired entertainment, coming through the door.

    About 10 minutes after 1 AM, my cell phone began to ring. I''d left it on my desk. I got up off the cot, went over to the desk, picked up the phone and switched it on.

    I wondered if this was from Kelly or Brandon. If it was, I thought, I''ll tell them again, ''Repent you sinners and be born again.''"

    "Hi." I groaned, "Who''s calling?"

    "Hi Valerie. It''s Harmony."

    I wondered, Wolfram and Hart''s not wasting time, are they?

    I asked, "What is it Harmony?"

    "Listen. I''m outside the After/Dark Nightclub, just down the street from the parking lot."

    "Outside?"

    "I can''t get in. I have no idea where you''ve gone into hiding, but while you''ve been away, someone has nailed crosses above all your entrances, so none of us vampires can enter."

    I wasn''t sure what I should or shouldn''t tell her.

    I said, "Crosses?"

    "That''s right, so whenever you decide that it''s safe for you to come back to L.A., you won''t be able to enter your own Nightclub either."

    "I see." I asked, "Do you know who gave the orders?"

    "Well Cordelia Chase and a few other people from the Angel Investigations Agency, are patrolling your parking lot. When I drove in, she came over holding a stake, along with a cross of her own. She told me that they''ve been hired to clean house. They''ve even ordered the dealers and bookies to stay away from the After/Dark. I drove out of there fast. Now I''m parked down the street."

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    I asked, "Did Cordelia say who hired them?"

    "That guy who you said was your partner. Dylan McKay." Then she asked, "Do you want me and Spike to handle him for you?"

    "No." I told her, "I want you, Spike and any other vampires, along with anybody else from Wolfram and Hart, to stay away from me, and from Dylan McKay, and from all the Club''s employees and customers."

    "You mean you agree with them nailing up the crosses?"

    "I''m the one who authorized them to clean house."

    "You? But you''re a vampire."

    "That''s not all I am Harmony!" I spoke sharply, "I am a vampire who also owns a Nightclub on

    the Sunset Strip! Having known vampires hanging around would be bad for business!"

    "Valerie." She repeated, "When you come back from wherever you are, you won''t be able to enter your own Nightclub either."

    "Yes I will Harmony, and I have."

    "You have? You''re now inside? You entered while there were the crosses over the doorways?"

    "That''s right." I told her, "You see, while I was away, I went to Sunnydale."

    "Sunnydale?"

    "That''s right. Yours, and Spike''s and Cordelia Chase''s hometown. While I was there this afternoon I met a local practicing Witch named Willow Rosenberg."

    "Willow Rosenberg? I know she''s a vampire. She''s also a Witch?"

    I said, "I was told that she''s a very close friend of Sunnydale''s local Vampire Slayer named Buffy Summers; and Ms. Rosenberg''s services were recommended to us by Cordelia Chase herself."

    Then I asked, "She''s a vampire?"

    "That''s right." Harmony told me, "It happened when we were in high school. She was another one of us very bad girls from Sunnydale High, who fuck vampires and end up with pairs of fangs."

    I asked, "Willow had fangs when she was a teenager? She didn''t have them this afternoon."

    "You met her this afternoon?"

    "Yes. She was walking around outside in the daytime, and she was breathing."

    "In the daytime? Breathing? But she was as undead as you are and as undead as me."

    "The only way I can explain it," I told Harmony, "is that Willow Rosenberg is an even more powerful Witch than I could have possibly imagined. It looks like ''The incantation is mightier than the fang''; even more powerful than the one she spoke this afternoon.

    "This afternoon she spoke an incantation over the Consecrated Shrunken Head of a Slayer-Vampire-Slayer, and my soul was restored. Now I can stand in the presence of the cross, and go in and out my own nightclub. I can even attend Church; but unlike Willow, I can only attend evening worship services."

    "Willow spoke an incantation?" Harmony repeated, "Over a Consecrated Shrunken Head?"

    "That''s right." I said, "''The Consecrated Shrunken Head of a late Slayer-Vampire-Slayer. A woman named Faith, from Boston''."

    She sounded startled. "Faith?"

    "That''s what Willow Rosenberg said her name was."

    "Faith is dead?"

    "Yes; but her head is very well preserved."

    Her cell phone clicked off. I received no more phone calls from her that night.

    I went back to not being able to sleep. I hoped nobody else would call.

 Chapter 17

    Chapter 17

    At 1:30 in the morning, Kelly was behind the wheel of the car that Brandon and Dylan had taken out to Sunnydale that afternoon. She''d driven swiftly away from the Community that people called "Vampire Town", and was now on a Freeway, swiftly approaching L.A. She sat alone in the front seat. Brandon lay stretched out lengthwise in the backseat, sleeping.

    Before they''d left the motel room he''d asked her to drive saying, "I''m too exhausted to get behind the wheel."

    "Good." She said, "Now it''s dark, so I won''t have to ride in the trunk this time."

    "I''m sorry we had to do that. I''m sure it must have been unbelievably uncomfortable."

    She smiled with her fangs extended. "How''d you like to ride in it Brandon? I''d love to make sure that you don''t feel any discomfort at all."

    He spoke with annoyance. "Will you stop doing that? The joke''s stopped being funny."

    "That''s not a joke Brandon." She said, taking a step toward him.

    He raised a hand. "Wait a minute."

    She halted.

    He told her, "You said you wanted to attend worship, at this First Presbyterian Church of Vampires."

    "I''m not really sure if it''ll help, but if I do have my soul back, I don''t think I''ll start cringing if I step through the front door."

    Brandon went over to the dresser and pulled open the shallow top drawer. He reached in and picked up the copy of the New Testament that he''d found lying there earlier. Then he looked back at Kelly who appeared to be distressed.

    She spoke with a troubled tone. "What are you doing?"

    "If you do have your soul back," he asked, "you''re not going to start cringing if I read from this, are you?"

    "I''m not sure."

    He said, "Let''s see. I know that it says in here, ''Resist the Devil and he will flee from you''. Are you able to resist the Devil Kelly?"

    "I hope so. I''m not sure if I want to."

    Brandon now opened the book, and leafed through the pages until he came to Ephesians: Chapter 6. Then he started to read, beginning at verse 10.

    "''Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil''s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

    "''Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

    "''Pray also for me...''"

    "I will Brandon."

    He looked up from the text. "Can you pray?"

    "It''s okay Brandon." Kelly told him, "You''ll always be safe with me, from now on."

    Then they''d checked out of the Sunnydale Motor Lodge, got in the car and drove off into the night.

    Now, as she drove along approaching L.A., Kelly wondered. Resist the Devil and he will flee from you? The Devil will flee from me? A vampire? He''ll flee from a vampire with a restored soul?

    How do I resist the Devil, when I now have a natural bloodlust? How then is it possible for me to resist the Devil? Will Brandon really be safe with me from now on?

    "Put on the full armor of God"?

    And just where do I pick up these Divine garments? At the First Presbyterian Church of Vampires, where Sunday night Worship services are scheduled to begin tomorrow night at 9 P.M.?

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    Well, it''s worth a shot.

    Now as she approached the City, Kelly also wondered, Where will I stay tonight? While the sight of a cross is no longer a barrier, will I still have to be invited into somebody''s home, as a guest? I''m not sure that Brandon would invite me in. Would anybody else who I know?

    In the Vampire''s Handbook, there are long lists of places that cater to vampires, where I would have no trouble finding accommodations. Will I just have to get used to living in motel rooms, where I''ll be drinking pigs'' blood that I''ve warmed up in their microwave ovens?

    Well, wherever I''ll be living, or unliving, that''s what my diet will be. No more fabulous meals in fancy restaurants for me. I''ll also be spending all my days indoors with the blinds drawn. No more walks in the sunlight or days at the beach.

    What else won''t I have? A guy I can make love to, or marry, or have his children. Who ever heard of a pregnant vampire woman? Of course I can always turn Brandon into a vampire. After that, I suppose that we could have our wedding at this First Presbyterian Church of Vampires; but we couldn''t have children.

    Or could we? I''ve heard stories. No. Those were all fiction, about baby vampires whose parents had trouble finding baby-sitters.

    Maybe we could adopt? Yeah right. What adoption agency''s going to allow a couple of vampires to adopt a child?

    Now she called out, "Brandon! Wake up!"

    After a moment she heard his voice, behind and below her in the back seat.

    "Yeah." His voice was groggy, "Are we home?"

    "Not yet. We''ve still got a ways to go."

    He now sat up in the back seat, and looked around at the buildings they were passing beside the Freeway.

    "You''re right." He agreed, "We still have a long way to go."

    "To go where?" she asked. "Where am I going to stay?"

    "My place. Aren''t we?"

    "If I stay at your place, where do you want me to sleep?"

    "That''s a good question." He chuckled nervously. "Separate rooms?"

    "That question wasn''t a joke." She told him, "I''m a vampire Brandon. I still have my new fangs and my new appetite and my new physical needs. While I''ve got my soul restored, and all the pigs'' blood I''ll need, at least for a while, I still have the bloodlust. The bloodlust is also now combined with my sexual lust."

    "They''re combined?"

    "That''s right; so when you fuck me, you might die."

    "Oh?"

    "It''s okay Brandon. I''m sure we can work things out. So do you want to sleep on the couch, or should I?"

    "Anywhere you wish." He spoke with a grouchy tone. "What other choice do I have?"

    "You know I still love you. Don''t you Brandon?"

    He hesitated. Then he said, "I hope so."

    "Do you still love me?"

    "I hope so."

    "Then you might not die; at least not right away."

    "I see." He told her, "Then it looks like we''ll just have to practice total abstinence."

    Kelly then scowled. "Brandon!" She growled in exasperation. "I''ve had enough of your being a wimpy wus!"

    At the next exit ramp, she turned off the freeway and drove into the empty parking lot of a local strip mall, where all the shops were closed for the night, the lights were off, and all the parking spaces were empty. She drove into one of the empty spaces and parked.

    Then Kelly got out of the driver''s seat and shut the door. She opened the rear door and slid into the back seat beside Brandon, shutting the door behind herself.

    He asked, "Why are we stopping here?"

    She growled again, this time gripping his upper arms tight. She felt him trembling.

    "You know Brandon;" she spoke with annoyance. "Anyanka Jenkins, Sunnydale''s Candidate for State Assembly, is right."

    He asked in a trembling voice, "In what way?"

    "We''ve got to get rid of all this Wussyism; beginning with yours." She extended her fangs. "So the next time you fuck me, you won''t die." She wrapped her arms around him tight. "You''ll already be undead."

 Chapter 18

    Chapter 18

    Kelly had resumed driving through the middle of the night, moving with the traffic beneath the brightly shining street lamps along the Sunset Strip. Brandon lay on the floor of the backseat.

    Is he morphing, she wondered, or will he remain dead? I did what the Vampire''s Handbook said was the correct procedure, when it comes to vamping someone; or did I? Did I do it correctly? I''m sure I did. It''s a very simple procedure, unless something unexpected happened, which wasn''t addressed in the Handbook. If something unexpected did happen, and things did go wrong, he might not revive as a vampire.

    If he doesn''t revive, I could be charged with murder!

    "Oh Brandon," she said softly, "why did you have to act like such a wus?"

    I''m asking why he had to act like that? Why did I act the way I just did? I told Valerie that I was gonna use self control.

    I told her, "Just ''cause I''m now a vampire, it doesn''t mean that I can''t still be a responsible, law abiding citizen."

    That''s what I told her, and I believed it when I said it. I didn''t realize just how much I really have changed. I''m an actual carnivorous predator. But I''m not a lion, or a tiger or a bear, or alligator, or... What am I?

    I''m a human being. Homo sapien?..."vampirus"? That makes me a carnivorous predator, with a conscience.

    I really am gonna have to watch myself from now on. When I get angry...?

    The After/Dark Nightclub''s neon sign was now in view.

    There were a good number of cars in the parking lot.

    It''s open to the public, Kelly thought. I don''t have to ask to be invited inside. I''m a regular patron. I''ll be allowed in without any hesitation. Beside that, Valerie''s in there. She has experience dealing with unlawful things. I''m sure she''ll be able to help me handle everything about Brandon.

    I''m going to ask for help, in doing something unlawful?

    "Being a vampire doesn''t have to suck"? Yeah--right!

    She turned into the Club''s parking lot, and went to a dimly lit space, where she parked besides the building, with her car''s front grill a few inches from the Club''s brick wall; near the spot where she''d been the other night, when she''d been approached by Harmony.

    She got out of the car and looked through the rear door''s left window. She could barely see Brandon, lying in the darkness on the floor, between the front and back seats. She figured that if anyone just casually glanced through it for a moment, they wouldn''t notice anything. Unless...

    Maybe I should have moved him into the trunk. No. He''d have been too heavy for me to handle alone, and who would I have gone to for help?

    Kelly heard someone approaching. She shut and locked the vehicle''s front door, and all the doors. She turned and saw the woman who she''d met here inside the Club that morning; the one who''d been brought here by her step-brother David.

    Cordelia Chase was approaching, accompanied by Steve Sanders and Donna Martin. All three of them gripped crucifixes, holding them low at their sides. Cordelia also gripped a foot long, sharp wooden stake. The other two appeared to be unarmed; but all three had grim looks on their faces.

    Has Ms. Chase, Kelly wondered, used that stake on Valerie?

    She called out, "Hi everyone!" being careful to keep her fangs retracted, and not glance at her car''s left rear window.

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    Donna spoke nervously. "Hi Kelly."

    Steve nodded. "Hi."

    Now Ms. Chase spoke. "So you''re back."

    Kelly nodded. "That''s right, and I''ve brought Valerie''s car back with me. Everything and everyone''s where you''d expect them to be."

    Steve asked, "How''s Brandon?"

    Kelly remained careful not to glance at the left rear window.

    "He''s okay. I left him off at home. He''s had a very long day, and he was exhausted."

    Donna told her, "I think you can say the same about all of us."

    Cordelia spoke. "Valerie Malone''s told us that your soul was restored along with hers."

    "That''s right;" Donna added "by the woman you told us about, who spoke an incantation while holding the shrunken head of a Vampire Slayer."

    "Is Valerie inside?" Kelly asked. "I''d like to talk to her. She and I have a lot of things to discuss."

    Steve said, "She''s sleeping in her office, and asked not to be disturbed about anything; so if you want to talk to her, you''re just gonna have to wait."

    Donna laughed nervously. "We''re not doing anything to annoy anyone who''s got a pair of fangs and is in a really rotten mood."

    "Sleeping in her office?" Kelly looked at Cordelia. "Then you haven''t staked her?"

    "No. As a matter of fact, she and her partner Dylan McKay have hired the Angel Investigations Agency, to provide security for the Club. We vampire hunters are now working for a vampire; but only that vampire. You others had all better watch out."

    "''You others''? Does that include me?"

    "That''s up to you." said the woman with the stake.

    "Then I have nothing to fear." Kelly told them. "My soul''s been restored. I am very able to control myself. I intend to continue being a law abiding, responsible citizen."

    Donna said, "Good for you Kelly!"

    "But that does not mean that I''m going to be a wussy."

    Now Kelly stepped away from her car, walking across the parking lot toward the Club''s entrance, with Donna, Steve and Cordelia Chase moving beside her.

    Cordelia repeated, "''Wussy''? When you were in Sunnydale, did you speak with Anyanka Jenkins, the local Candidate for State Assembly?"

    "That''s right. She explained a lot to me. I am now a citizen of the vampiric persuasion, and have joined in her campaign to eliminate Wussyism from our culture."

    Cordelia said, "I was with Valerie when you spoke to her on the phone a few hours ago. Was Anyanka Jenkins the demon, who''s also a member of the Order of Beelzebub, who she told you to avoid?"

    Kelly said nothing. She now came to within a few steps of the doorway, and saw the crucifix nailed above the entrance. She halted.

    She wondered, Can I move any further? Can I go inside? My soul''s been restored, but can I pass beneath that cross? Have I lost my soul again, because I''ve tasted human blood? If I can''t go inside, this demon hunter who''s standing beside me, is sure to understand why, and she''s carrying a stake.

    Kelly felt her fangs begin to extend instinctively, but was able to retract them, thinking

    I''ve got to get out of here fast.

    She thought, No! If I try to run she''ll stake me! Steve and Donna might join in!

    She whispered, "God, have mercy on me a sinner."

    Then Kelly Taylor stepped through the doorway, moving beneath the cross, and entered the After/Dark Nightclub.

 Chapter 19

    Chapter 19

    Like I said, I Valerie the exhausted Vampire hoped that no one else would call that night, and nobody did. My cell phone didn''t ring again. What did happen was that somebody knocked on my office door.

    I groaned. A knock on the door is something you can''t hang up on.

    "I haven''t killed anyone yet!" I shouted. "If you come inside, that is going to change!"

    The door opened. I sat up on the cot, and deliberately extended my fangs; looking ready to fatally pounce on whoever stepped inside.

    The person who stepped inside was Kelly. Wouldn''t you know it?

    She shut the door.

    "You haven''t yet," she told me "but I have."

    "You have what?"

    "Like you just said; killed someone."

    "Oh." I retracted my fangs.

    "It was Brandon." She told me, "It''s like I told you on the phone. He was being such a wimpy wus. It got me so aggravated. I hadn''t expected to act that way. I thought that just drinking enough pigs'' blood would be enough to keep myself under control. It wasn''t."

    "Becoming a vampire," I told her, "changes more than the shape of our teeth and our appetites Kelly. That''s what I learned, when I was being held at Wolfram and Hart for three days."

    "Right. I actually read that same statement in the Handbook. ''What every new vampire should know''. I am now a carnivorous predator, with a conscience.

    "Valerie." Now she spoke uneasily. "The reason I''ve come to you, is that I''m not sure what to do with Brandon; until he becomes undead, and then after that. Now it turns out that you''re the only one I could think of who might be able to help."

    Again I was the one who groaned.

    Then I asked, "Where is he now?"

    "He''s in the back seat of my car, lying on the floor, out in the parking lot."

    "You could drop him off at home, in his bed, and pull down the shade so the sun won''t shine on him, and I can finally get to sleep."

    "I won''t be able to enter his house, unless I''m invited inside, and now that''s impossible."

    I couldn''t help smirking as I repeated, "Yeah. That is a toughie, isn''t it?"

    "I thought I might bring him in here, where it''s open to the public, and leave him in the store room. But now you''ve hired that woman from the Angel Investigations Agency, and I don''t know what to do."

    I thought it over.

    Then I told her, "Why don''t you do like I did? Find a motel room."

    "Motel room? Would you know where there''s one available?"

    "I''m pretty sure there''s one available at the Sunnydale Motor Lodge, and they have no problem catering to vampires."

    "What!" she groaned. "Drive all the way back to Sunnydale, tonight?"

    "If you want to keep Brandon from burning up into dust and ashes."

    "Can you think of any place closer?"

    "Well, there is a place, but it''s one I think you might want to avoid."

    "What I want to avoid is Brandon burning up."

    "Then you might want to drive over to Wolfram and Hart Headquarters. They have ''safe rooms'' for vampires; but only if you agree to their terms."

    She spoke uneasily. "Wolfram and Hart Headquarters?"

    "Either there or the Sunnydale Motor Lodge. I''m sure there must be other safe places, but I have no idea where they are."

    "Wouldn''t they be listed in the Vampire''s Handbook?"

    "Right." I waved my hand in the direction of my desk. "It''s over there. Look it over; quietly please;" I lay back down on the cot. "and let me try to get some sleep."

    "One more thing Valerie." Kelly asked, "Isn''t Wolfram and Hart Headquarters the place where you learned how to control your own bloodlust?"

    "That''s right," I told her "but like I said, it''s a place that''s best for you to avoid. You can get even better help from Blood Suckers Anonymous, which meets at the First Presbyterian Church of Vampires.

    "Now." I repeated, "Please let me get some sleep."

    "Right. Pleasant dreams."

    She quietly went over to the desk, picked up the handbook and flipped through the pages. After a few minutes she wrote something down on slip of paper. Then she quickly left the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.

    I shut my eyes, knowing that I just wasn''t going to get any sleep that night, but at least I could finally relax.

    About ten minutes later the door opened again, and again I groaned.

    Kelly entered, looking even more distressed than she had before.

    I sat up. She shut the door.

    "What is it?"

    "It''s Brandon." She told me, "He''s gone from the car."

    Forget about me getting any sleep that night!

    Five minutes later, Kelly and I were outside, under the open nighttime sky.

    She sang softly with an anxious tone,

    "Where oh were did my Brandon Boy go?

    The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.Where oh where could he be?"

    She and I were out in the Club''s parking lot, standing beside the car she''d driven from Sunnydale, cautiously looking around.

    Cordelia Chase was now seated in a folding chair, beside the After/Dark''s main entrance, with her arms folded in front of her, conspicuously displaying a sharp wooden stake gripped tight in her hand. Kelly and I had come out through the Club''s side door, hoping to avoid Cordelia; but the woman from the Angel Investigations Agency stared straight at us, with a lot of curiosity.

    Kelly pointed through the shut window of the driver side''s rear door.

    Her voice remained anxious. "He was there where I left him Valerie. Completely dead and unmovable."

    "Are you sure he was dead?" I asked.

    "He seemed to be." She told me, "He sure felt limp and lifeless when I pulled my fangs out of his neck. But if he''s not..." her voice whimpered and she began to tremble, "Brandon could be wandering around the streets, out in the open, when the sun rises."

    I added, "And he could be biting somebody right now."

    "Don''t say that Val!" She demanded, "Please don''t say that!"

    "Okay. I won''t, but he hasn''t learned how to control his bloodlust; and do you know if he''s read any copy of the Vampire''s Handbook?"

    She shook her head. "I''m not sure. He might have leafed through it. Wait a minute Valerie. We have to find him. But I don''t know where to look or how."

    I looked back toward the Club''s entrance, where Ms. Chase was seated, now strongly focused on us. "I''m sure she knows how to locate a newbie vampire."

    "Cordelia?" Kelly said, "You want to ask her to locate Brandon? She''s holding a Vampire Slayer stake."

    "Yeah." I said, this time without a smirk, "It''s a real toughie, isn''t it?"

    I began to move in the direction of the Club''s main entrance. Cordelia Chase rose up out of her chair.

    Kelly stepped up beside me.

    "Wait a minute." She told me, "I think I know where Brandon''d go. He''d go home. Just like I did, when I showed up at Dylan''s place."

    "Right."

    I halted. So did she.

    Cordelia hurried over to us, tightly gripping the stake in her hand.

    When she reached us, the woman asked Kelly, "Are you looking for your boyfriend?"

    Kelly stiffened. "What do you mean?"

    "As soon as you stepped inside the Club, the back door to your car opened, and one of the guys who you were with in the office yesterday morning, came out. I think his name is Brandon?"

    "That''s right." Kelly nodded, "Brandon Walsh. He was ali...I mean he wasn''t asleep?"

    "No. He came right over to me, and he told me that he doesn''t want to have anything more to do with any of this, what he calls ''vampire business''. Then he asked me how to get to the nearest Bloodsuckers Anonymous Office. I told him the address.

    "After that he said that he doesn''t want to have anything more to do with you Miss Taylor, or you either Ms. Malone. He also said that he doesn''t care if you call him a wus; and he said that if either of you come anywhere near him, he''ll be waiting with a sharp wooden stake."

    "Oh." Kelly said, "I see. Then it''s over, between him and I."

    "It looks that way."

    Now I asked, "Did you see where he went after that?"

    "He went over to the curb, where a taxi was letting people out. When they got out, he got in and was driven away. I assume he went over to that Bloodsuckers Anonymous Office."

    Then Cordelia left us and went back to the entrance, where she again seated herself in the folding chair, guarding the entrance.

    Kelly sighed. "So it''s over between me and Brandon. I think I may have overdone it, with the anti-wussyism, along with the fangs and the bloodlust."

    "I agree." I told her, "The ''New You'' is going to be hard to get used to."

    "I know. ''Being a Vampire doesn''t have to suck''? As far as I''m concerned, it does. Totally."

    "On the other hand," I told her, "if he''s gonna be waiting for us with sharpened wooden stakes, you might have cured his Wussyism. Maybe all isn''t lost."

    "True. There''s always hope; but as of right now, I don''t have any place to stay. I''m not only no longer invited in Brandon''s place, or Dylan''s. I won''t be welcomed by any of our friends."

    I reminded her, "Check the listings in the Handbook."

    "Listen Valerie." She told me, "I did spend yesterday morning here inside the Club, where I was safe from the daylight. So it looks like it''ll have to be the same for me again today. I''m sure that any of the upholstered benches inside one of the booths will be comfortable enough. Then as soon as I can, I''ll see about finding myself some good accommodations to rent."

    "No problem." I said, "I''ll have to find something for myself too."

    Kelly sighed. "None of that would be necessary if Brandon and I had just stayed in Sunnydale. Or if I''d agreed to be demonized, I might now be staying in excellent accommodations, in the Demonic Dimension of Beelzebubia, and never come back."

 Chapter 20

    Chapter 20

    Travel to the Demonic Dimension of Beelzebubia and never come back?

    Kelly Taylor sighed.

    Sounds wonderful, she thought, but as of right now, I have to stay where I am.

    Right now it is 4:37 AM. I am stretched out on an upholstered bench inside a booth, in the otherwise deserted, dark and quiet main floor of the Climaxes Nightclub. Not very different than it was, when I was in here yesterday morning.

    That was yesterday morning? So much has happened since then, it feels like an entire week has passed.

    Tonight there are some differences. I''m much more comfortable; lying down under a blanket, with my head on a pillow. Valerie found both of them for me in a supply closet. Valerie''s now sleeping on a cot in her office. Is she sleeping, or like me; having trouble getting to sleep?

    Another comforting difference is that I''m not hungry. I took care of that, when I snacked on Brandon.

    Brandon? I know I should feel really terrible about it, but I don''t. I enjoyed having a few tasty gulps. I''d also thought that I was not just curing his Wussyism. Making him into a vampire like me, would keep our relationship going. We''d eventually be getting married at that Church of Vampires; and maybe have our honeymoon in the Demonic Dimension of Beelzebubia. Now, according to Cordelia Chase, he''s no longer a wussy; but if he''s waiting for me a sharpened wooden stake, maybe I should forget about any wedding plans.

    He took a taxi and went somewhere. Cordelia Chase thinks he went to Bloodsuckers Anonymous. I don''t think so. He went home; probably. He took the taxi to his house. He does have a key, and wouldn''t need any invitation. That''s what I need, but my invitation is permanently canceled.

    Kelly sighed again.

    I have to learn to control my bloodlust. I know I''d also enjoy making a meal out of Dylan, and Steve, and even my brother David, along with Donna, along with... No. Forget it! None of them will be inviting me into their house ever again! Not even David, my brother!

    Not even after I''ve learned to control my bloodlust.

    As she lay there, Kelly heard sounds coming through the storeroom''s doorway that stood to the bar''s right. She heard footsteps, just like she had the night before. But unlike last night, she heard more that one voice, speaking softly. She heard a male voice, along with a female voice which sounded somewhat familiar.

    Burglars? She wondered, Is this a "break-in"? Isn''t there a burglar alarm; a watchman?

    If not, she smiled, extending her fangs, I''m here. Tonight, I''m the Club''s "watch vampire"; and I did say that I''d love to "take a bite out of crime".

    She pushed the blanket off of herself, and sat up behind the table in the booth where she''d lain down, and now eagerly licked the tips of her fangs.

    I''m a Vampire Detective? That might be a good career that law abiding citizens would appreciate.

    A man stepped through the storeroom''s doorway. He stood to the bar''s right, in the dim minimum lighting that came from the exit signs and from under the bar. She saw him as a shadowy figure in his late 20''s, dressed in a tee shirt and pants. She couldn''t see his shoes. His facial features were unclear. His right hand gripped an unlit flashlight. An object she couldn''t identify was in his left hand.

    A flashlight? She wondered, Is that a ''burglar''s tool''? My new career begins now.

    She called out. "Hold it right there Bud!" her voice sounding firm, louder and sharper than she''d expected.

    He switched on the flashlight, aiming the light straight at her face. She couldn''t see beyond the glare. The interior of the Club was now total darkness in her sight; so was he.

    The man spoke. "You''re a vampire. I see your fangs."

    "That''s right Mr. Burglar! I''m not unarmed!"

    "Neither am I."

    Kelly began to tremble.

    He went on, "And I''m not a burglar. I haven''t come to steal anything. I''ve come bearing a gift."

    Just what, she wondered, is he holding in his left hand? I can''t see beyond the flashlight''s glare. A stake? A pistol? I can''t see where he is. Can a vampire be killed by a bullet? If not, it can still do an awful lot of very painful, disfiguring damage.

    She heard him take a few steps, and saw the flashlight beam moving; but he still focused it on her eyes, so she saw nothing else.

    To her right, she heard Valerie call out, "What the hell is going on?"

    The flashlight beam moved away from Kelly''s face. She could again dimly see everything in the darkened Club. She saw the intruder now shining his flashlight''s beam on Valerie, who''d just come out of her office.

    "Good evening Miss Malone." The man spoke, "Or should I say ''Good very early morning''?"

    Valerie asked, "Lindsey McDonald?"

    "That''s correct."

    Kelly gasped. Then she asked, "Isn''t Lindsey McDonald the Head of Wolfram and Hart?"

    Valerie told her, "I''m not sure if he''s the Head, but he does have a large amount of authority."

    Mr. McDonald spoke to her, "I''m on the Executive Board Ms...What is your name?"

    "Kelly. That''s Kelly Taylor."

    Now a woman''s voice called out from inside the storeroom. "Hi there Kelly! I hear that your ex-fiancee''s placed a one-hundred-thousand dollar reward, to be paid to anybody who rams a sharp wooden stake straight through my heart! Want to see if you can collect?"

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    "Harmony?"

    "That''s right! What do you say? You and I? Each armed with a stake? The one hundred thousand goes to the winner!"

    "Sounds good to me!" Kelly called out. "That''s if my ex-fiancee agrees." Then she slid out from the booth and stood up facing the storeroom. "I''ve joined the Campaign against Wussyism!"

    "Not now!" McDonald ordered. "Save the political business and athletic activity for later! We''ve come here to discuss Company business."

    He spoke to Valerie. "We''ve come bearing a gift."

    Then he called out to the storeroom. "You can bring in the souvenir now!"

    Two figures emerged from the storeroom into the dimly lit Club. A woman tightly gripped the upper arms of another woman who she forced ahead of her. The woman who she gripped, had her arms coupled behind her back with handcuffs, and a gag tied in her mouth, trembled but made no sound.

    Kelly called out "Harmony! Who''s that with you?"

    Valerie was startled. "Cordelia Chase?"

    Harmony the vampire, tightly gripped the handcuffed upper arms, of the trembling Angel Investigations Agency''s supervisor, who nodded but said nothing.

    "Ms. Malone." Mr. McDonald spoke. "Your contract with the Angel Investigations Agency is discontinued; as Ms. Chase here is about to be herself."

    The trembling Cordelia moaned clearly, but made no other sound.

    Harmony pushed the woman around to the front of the bar. She brought her to a table, where she seated her, keeping her arms behind her, cuffed to the back of the chair.

    "Wait a minute." Valerie asked, "What is Harmony doing in here? Cordelia nailed crosses above every entrance into the Club."

    Cordelia moaned once again.

    The man explained, "I removed it."

    He held up a foot tall cross in his left hand. Harmony winced, shielding her eyes with one hand. Valerie and Kelly did not shield their eyes. Neither of them winced.

    Mr. McDonald said, "Now every vampire who wants, can return to spending time here inside the Climaxes, of which Wolfram and Hart is about to become the sole owner."

    "Sole owner?"

    "That''s right Ms. Malone. If we are not, then the drug dealers and bookies will be doing business in here again; and so will the police. I assume you know your partner Dylan McKay''s phone number?"

    "That''s right. You want me to call him?"

    "Yes. Immediately."

    "My cell phone''s in the office."

    "I don''t want either you or Miss Taylor here, going out of our sight."

    Harmony spoke, with her head turned away from the cross. "I''ll go with her."

    Valerie told her, "It''s on the desk. Don''t touch anything."

    "No problem."

    Harmony moved away from the table where Cordelia was cuffed, while McDonald seated himself beside the woman. He sat facing the booth where Valerie and Kelly were seated, continuing to hold the cross.

    Valerie got up and went into the Club''s office accompanied by Harmony. In less than two minutes Valerie came back out, holding her cell phone in her right hand, but Harmony did not accompany her.

    The man asked, "What''s with Harmony?"

    Valerie raised her left hand, gripping a vampire slayer''s stake, with blood dripping from its downward pointing tip.

    She told him, "Harmony''s not leaving the office."

    Then she went over to the booth and seated herself beside Kelly, putting the stake on the table in front of her, with her hand on it.

    She told Kelly, "Harmony has just become a gift from me to Egbert, with who I''m still totally in love."

    A startled Kelly said, "You''re a Slayer-Vampire?"

    Valerie nodded. "Ms. Chase here supplied us with a few of these stakes, along with the crosses, just in case any of us needed to use one for self protection."

    McDonald called out, "She''s not the only one!"

    He moved the cross from his right hand to his left. Then he raised his right hand, now displaying a sharp wooden stake, while glaring at Cordelia who sobbed again.

    "Wait a minute Valerie." Kelly asked with a tone of annoyance, "Since you''re the one who used it on Harmony, it means that you''re the one who''ll be getting that hundred thousand dollar reward from Dylan?"

    "That reward," Valerie told her, "was for her arrest and conviction; not for what I just did."

    Now McDonald spoke. "Ms. Malone. I want you to call Mr. Dylan McKay right now. Tell your business partner to get himself down here as quick as possible."

    Valerie quickly tapped out Dylan''s phone number. She put the cell phone to her ear and waited. Then she looked up.

    "I''m sorry." She told the Wolfram and Hart executive, "He''s turned his phone off. I''ll have to tell him what you told me, on his voice mail. Then I have no idea what time he''ll wake up; or what time he''ll turn his phone on."

    "Just tell him what I told you."

    Valerie kept the phone against her ear until she heard the beep.

    Then she said, "Hi Dylan. This is Valerie. Right now I''m at the Club with Kelly. Lindsey McDonald has just shown up here, armed. He''s holding Cordelia Chase captive. It''s obvious that he''ll kill her if we don''t do everything he says.

    "The man''s just told me to tell you to get yourself down here as quick as possible. He said that Wolfram and Hart is about to become the Club''s sole owner."

    The Wolfram and Hart executive called out. "Now hang up!"

    Valerie clicked off her cell phone.

 Chapter 21

    Chapter 21

    A little after 6 AM, we were all still out on the main floor of the dimly lit, windowless Climaxes Nightclub. I Valerie sat beside Kelly, inside the booth where she''d been trying to sleep, when the visitors from Wolfram and Hart arrived.

    Our visitor, Mr. McDonald remained seated at the same table. The cuffed and gagged Cordelia remained beside him. His slayer stake still lay on the table in front of him, along with the cross. His hand rested on the stake.

    None of us spoke.

    Kelly muttered softly. "Dylan might not get up before noon. Who knows what time he''ll get here?"

    I nodded.

    Then I spoke clearly. "It''s after six o''clock. That means it''s now getting light outside. That means we''re gonna be stuck in here with each other all day."

    Everyone groaned, especially Cordelia who moaned the loudest.

    Now I heard sounds coming from inside the storeroom. Then I heard Dylan''s voice.

    "Valerie?" He called out, "Kelly?"

    I called back. "We''re out on the main floor Dylan!"

    Kelly, me, and the executive from Wolfram and Hart all turned and faced the storeroom''s doorway; as did Cordelia.

    Dylan emerged from the doorway. Then he halted. He looked uneasily at our visiting Executive from Wolfram and Hart: whose hand gripped his slayer stake, and at Cordelia.

    He said, "Cordelia Chase?"

    The woman nodded.

    "Valerie." He asked, "Who is this guy?"

    I said "It''s like I told you Dylan. You''ve been away from L.A. for much too long. You don''t know any of our new regular patrons."

    "Right." He repeated, "And like you said, I should have occasionally shown some interest in the Club. Would you like to introduce me?"

    "That," I pointed, "is Mr. Lindsey McDonald. He''s the one who ordered Jake the vampire, to make a vampire out of me"

    Now the Wolfram and Hart executive spoke. "Good morning Mr. McKay. At last we meet."

    "Right." Dylan sounded annoyed. "There''s no way I''m gonna call it a pleasure."

    My business partner stepped out from behind the bar, and halted.

    "Our contract," I sighed "with the Angel Investigations Agency, has been canceled."

    Cordelia moaned once more.

    Dylan looked at me and Kelly. "Are you both okay?"

    "That depends," Kelly told him, "what you mean by ''okay''."

    "I was killed by a vampire." I told him. "Then I went to Hell; and then I came back as a vampire; and I''m trying very hard to keep my bloodlust under control. So far I''ve been successful; but that''s only ''so far''. I don''t know if you''d describe that as ''okay''."

    Kelly said, "Same here; except like I told you, I went to Good Girls Hell; or I may have. I''m still not sure that I wasn''t having an hallucination, before I became undead."

    Dylan nervously looked at all of us in the room. "Am I the only one here who isn''t a vampire?"

    "Cordelia''s not." I told him, "Neither is Mr. McDonald, but he''s still dangerous."

    McDonald declared. "I''ve been sent to make you and Ms. Malone here a fair offer."

    Dylan looked at me and I nodded. He looked back at the Wolfram and Hart Rep.

    He asked, "What do mean ''fair''?"

    The man said, "Ms. Malone here has decided that she no longer wants drug dealing, bookmaking, or any type of unlawful activities going on here at the Climaxes."

    "That''s right." Dylan told him, "Neither do I."

    "She''s also attempted to try to keep vampires like herself, and other paranormal beings from entering this establishment of yours, by hiring Ms. Chase here."

    "I agree with her on that too."

    "That attempt has obviously failed, as will all other attempts.

    "Listen very carefully Mr. McKay. While you want criminals to be kept away from the Climaxes, Wolfram and Hart doesn''t. We know for a fact, that Ms. Malone here allowed bookmaking and drug dealing inside this club, with her getting a percentage of every transaction. While you want to put an end to it, we want it to continue. It''s very profitable, but very risky. Wolfram and Hart would like to eliminate the risk."

    Dylan repeated what he''d suggested back in Sunnydale. "Or we can shut the place down." He added, "Then have the building torn down. I can afford the loss!"

    "Dylan!" I nervously reminded him, "Jorge, Yolanda, and our other employees can''t afford it! Neither can I."

    Now McDonald demanded, "Look at her!" He lifted his stake, pointing it at Cordelia. "If you even attempt what you just threatened, then what happens to her will also happen to your friends."

    He picked up a slip of note pad paper from the table in front of him and read from it.

    "Your friends," he read, "''Brandon Walsh, his sister Brenda; Mr. Steve Sanders, Donna Martin; along with Miss Taylor''s step brother David''."

    Kelly gasped, then shouted, "Not David!"

    "Either that," he told Dylan, "or you, Ms. Malone and myself can negotiate a deal, which will be satisfactory to everyone involved."

    "What do you mean by ''satisfactory''?" Dylan asked, "Drug dealers and bookies will be doing business in the Climaxes, while vampires and other ''paranormals'' will be free to have their way with our customers?"

    "If Wolfram and Hart is the owner, we will be the ones who provide the security and Spike the Vampire will be promoted to Head of Security, at this location. Other than that, Ms. Malone will be allowed to stay on as manager. If she agrees, she will again receive a percentage of every transaction, as you will yourself."

    Dylan looked at me. "What do you say Valerie? Do you agree?"

    I hesitated. "Stay on as manager?"

    Kelly declared, "I can''t believe we''re just sitting here like a pair of wussies Valerie! Here we are, two vampires armed with fangs, and you''re holding a stake. We can kill this McDonald guy here with not trouble at all."

    "He''s also armed with a stake." I told her. "If we try to kill him, he''ll use it on Cordelia."

    "That''s wussy thinking." She told me, "We should both attack him at the same time, before he can use it on her. Sure, he might kill one of us, but the other would kill him for sure, and she''ll still be alive. What do you think Cordelia?"

    The handcuffed woman with the gag in her mouth nodded, and glared at me.

    I snapped, "I''m not being a wussy!"

    Then I spoke calmly. "When you think about it," I told them both, "it really is a very satisfactory deal." I looked at Dylan. "Deadly vampires, including me, will be in control. I''ll be the Club''s well paid manager, and all our friends will be safe."

    Kelly asked, "Satisfactory? After everything that''s happened? You want to go back to the corruption you were involved in, that got both you and me killed and turned into vampires? You told me that your coming back as a vampire, was giving you a second chance; and this is what you''re doing with it?"

    "I''m sorry Kelly." I told her, "I just have to go along with it. I don''t know what else to do."

    "What else?" She groaned in annoyance. "We could be having this guy for breakfast."

    Mr. McDonald called out, "Miss Taylor!"

    She growled back, "Yeah what?"

    "I like your attitude."

    "My attitude? You like it?"

    "You''re not ''a wussy''. You''re a brave and fearless warrior."

    "Warrior?" She smiled. "Right. That is what I am."

    "We can always use people like you at Wolfram and Hart"

    "You can?"

    "Definitely. How''d you like to come and work for us? If you wish, you''re welcome to come on over to Wolfram and Hart Headquarters tomorrow evening, and fill out a job application. I''ll tell the Personnel Department that you have my recommendation."

    "Are you kidding? Me work for Wolfram and Hart? Valerie here might be as totally corrupt as the rest of you, but I''m not!"

    That''s when I said, "Neither am I. Not any more; and you''re right. While I''m totally in love with Egbert, there''s no way I''d ever want to meet him again. It''s time for me to stop being a wussy."

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    I extended my fangs, while putting my hand on the blood stained stake on the table in front of me, gripping it tight.

    "And I agree with you Kelly." I went on, "It''s time for breakfast."

    She and I slid out from the booth, and got up from the table with our fangs extended. We rushed around the table between us and Mr. McDonald who froze, gripping his stake with one hand and his cross with the other, while looking back and forth between us and Cordelia. We two vampire gals pounced on the man before he could use the stake.

    Then Kelly and I chomped our fangs into his neck, and had a very satisfying breakfast.

    Once the meal was finished, she and I stood up beside the body of Lindsey McDonald, who had deep fang marks in his neck. The stake that he''d held was now sticking out of his chest, where Kelly had rammed it deep into his heart, to make sure he''d never become undead.

    Then we removed the gag from Cordelia''s mouth. She moaned and took a few deep breaths.

    I told her, "I''ll see if we can find something to break these handcuffs off of you."

    I moved behind the bar, where we kept a tool box.

    Cordelia said, "The keys are in his pocket."

    I came back over to the table, and knelt beside the body of Lindsey McDonald who lay stretched out on the floor. I reached into his pocket.

    Now Kelly spoke, "I can''t believe it Valerie. You''re actually going through a dead guy''s pockets?"

    "Why are you complaining? You enjoyed making him dead, just as much as I did."

    Now Kelly smiled, looking delighted. "And that felt so good!" She laughed, "I was right. I loved ''taking a bite out of crime''!"

    "So did I." I smiled back.

    I pulled the keys out of McDonald''s pocket, stood up, searched through them and found the handcuff''s key. I unlocked the cuffs, releasing Cordelia.

    She said, "Thank you." and stood up moving her shoulders while groaning in relief.

    Then I stopped smiling. "Now what do we do with the bodies?"

    The look of delight also left Kelly''s face. "The bodies?"

    I nodded. "Him, and whatever''s left of Harmony in my office. I''m not sure how to dispose of them; and I don''t know who to call for help. Do you have any ideas?"

    "Me? Are you kidding? What would I know about disposing of corpses?"

    "Right. It''s one problem you''ve never had to deal with before, isn''t it?"

    Now Cordelia spoke. "Getting rid of the bodies isn''t the only problem you''ll have to deal with. When McKenzie and Harmony don''t report in to Wolfram and Hart in the next few hours, they''ll be sending other people here to find out what''s happened. I don''t think either of you want to be around when they show up; and neither do I."

    The woman from Angel Investigations moved away from us quick. She rushed around the bar and through the open door of the storeroom. We heard the back door open and shut.

    Now Kelly asked, "Are we on our own?"

    She called out, "Dylan!"

    We both looked around. Dylan McKay was no longer with us.

    She called out toward the storeroom doorway. "You and Valerie are still owners of the Climaxes Nightclub! When Spike the Vampire and all the others show up, we''ll be waiting for them with stakes!"

    We didn''t hear a sound.

    I said, "I think that Cordelia isn''t the only one who you and I just scared away Kelly."

    She groaned. "Why does every guy we know have to be such a wus?"

    "Worry about that later." I told her, "When the people from Wolfram & Hart do show up, who knows what kind of weaponry they''ll have. Our fangs and stakes might not be enough to keep them from blowing us both to pieces."

    "Right." She told me, "Then the only alternative the two of us have, is to get as far away from here as possible; as fast as we can."

    "We can''t get away. It''s daylight now. If we step outside, we''ll both burn up into ashes and soot. And you found out the hard way that hiding under a blanket doesn''t work."

    Kelly groaned. Then she asked, "Does your guy Egbert really give orgasmic pitchfork?"

    "Well, I am totally in love with him; or in lust; totally. Why do you ask?"

    "It''s good to know." She sighed, "''Cause, it looks like you and I really are gonna end up going out on that double date with demons, which will go on forever; beginning today."

    "Maybe not." I said, "Now that our souls have been restored, we might not burn up, if we step outside in the daylight. That means we might actually have a chance to get as far away from here as possible, before those people from Wolfram & Hart show up."

    "Yes." she said, "That is a distinct possibility, if our souls have been restored. One of us should check it out, by stepping outside, Val."

    "I agree; and since you''re the one who''s joined the anti-wussyism campaign, the one who does the stepping outside, should be you, Kell."

    "Right." She nodded. "It''s the only chance we''ve got. If it doesn''t work, I''ll be frolicking in Good Girls Hell again. Very well." She took a deep breath. "Here goes."

    Ms. Kelly Taylor stepped away from me, and went over to the booth where she and I had been sitting, and where the blanket she''d been trying to sleep under lay bundled. She picked up the blanket, and draped it completely over herself. Then she came back, went around me and the bar, and stepped into the storeroom. I heard the outside door open.

    "Hey there Egbert!" Kelly Taylor shouted, "Fire up that pitchfork of yours! The one that Valerie''s been telling me about!

    "I''m one hot and horny pussy,

    Who''s not any kind of wussy,

    And I''m ready to get forked by you!"

    I then went around the bar, into the storeroom, heading over to the open doorway, where Kelly stood draped in the blanket, silhouetted by the daylight.

    As I stood watching, she began moaning and trembling, while smoke rose from the blanket. She quickly removed the blanket and tossed it aside; but her clothes were now on fire. She was screaming. Her skin was burning. Then her inner parts ignited. That was the moment when Kelly Taylor the Vampire died, a second and final time, squirming and squealing, like someone impaled on a demon''s fiery pitchfork.

    Now the storeroom was on fire, while the alarm blared. I was sure an alarm was also going off at the nearest fire house.

    I turned and ran out of the storeroom, back onto the main-floor. I rushed over to the table where Mr. McDonald had been seated. His body now lay beside it on the floor. I picked up the cross he''d held, which he''d dropped on the table, and rushed up to the front door. There I halted.

    I thought, Kelly had called upon a demon, and received what she''d asked for.

    Now I held up the cross and prayed, "Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner."

    I put my hand on the push bar, shoved the door open, and hurried outside into the daylight, still gripping the cross. I did not burn up. I hurried across the parking lot, got into my car, started the ignition and drove away fast from the After/Dark, passing fire trucks going in the opposite direction, toward the Club.

    I was on my way toward the address of a local chapter of Blood Drinker''s Anonymous, which was headquartered in a local Church of Born Again Vampires. That''s where Cordelia said that Brandon had gone. If that''s where he is, what do I tell him about Kelly? What do I say to Dylan?

    "Kelly''s returned to frolicking in Good Girls'' Hell, with the rest of the skanky sluts"?

    Either that, I thought, or Kelly Taylor, the gal who always got the guy, might now be taking my place; frolicking naked upon the fiery pitchfork of Egbert, with who I''m totally in love/lust for all eternity. That''s okay with me. I''m not jealous at all. I hope she enjoys the ride.

    So repent you sinners.

    END OF STORY