《Lamentations of The Dead Dreamer》


 Chapter 1: Hated by Life Itself

    Welcome to


    Lamentations of the Dead Dreamer!


    Arc 1: To Break a Fae


    Attention! This is a dark adult fantasy story. It involves themes and topics of abuse (mental, physical, phycological, etc...), suicide ideation, sex, mild language things, slavery, and abandonment. I''ll always do my best to keep content warnings as things get more intense, but I''ll probably miss minor things from the list above as the story goes forward.


    Thanks SO much for checking out my story!!!


    Amidst my wails and sobs, the forest is suddenly singing to me of danger back at my home.


    For a moment I can only sputter in surprise. Terror taking a few moments to overcome the morning''s grief. Then I am darting through the underbrush, humming a guttural harmony in answer, demanding the foliage and branches part for me to sprint at full tilt.


    Wha¡­ how did they get so close without warning? How are they already at my home?!?!


    The warning song doesn¡¯t tell me much, just that there are almost a dozen very large¡­ people? Humanish shaped things that burn hot with Amwella just outside the heart of my refuge.


    In moments I am within a distance that I need to transition to a silent creeping, and alter my magical song to beseech Her forest for stealth over speed.


    A line of trees and heavy growth acts as a wall around the little clearing where my home is woven into the base of a large tree. I arrive at the back edge, and waste only a second to confirm none of these intruders have moved to the back garden or into my home.


    Then I am across my back yard in a heartbeat and pressed against the tree, little talons and the tree¡¯s rough bark let me scale him and arrive unnoticed amidst the branches. I peer down at the scene playing out in front of my home.


    At least¡­ Yes, nine of them. All women. Each at least seven feet tall, various dark skin tones and rippling muscles covered in scars and tattoos. flexible armor of some kind of chitin hangs over some wrists, shoulders, shins and kneecaps.


    All just like My¡­ my friend, Undreka.


    My friend who rejected me this morning. Who called my¡­ my advances and feelings for her abominations. Who looked and hissed at me with such hatred and¨C


    Shaking the painful thoughts free I focus on their Amwella, their magical strength¨C


    My heart plummets.


    From each, starting at their core, it spreads and blossoms to engulf almost all of their body. Unseeable to anyone without a magical sense, but terrifying to anyone who knows what power such a collection signifies.


    My own barely holds my heart within itself.


    Undreka, tall, lean and all hard muscle, stands in the middle of three of them. Poised ready to fight. Her own flame, which was such a beacon of vibrancy when I first met her, easily twice my own¡¯s size, is nothing compared to their blazing infernos.


    She can¡¯t beat them, can¡¯t fight them. She¡¯s had to spend so much of her own power healing and recovering. And¡­ she wouldn¡¯t let me help her beyond basic herbs and medicinal aid. But¡­ even at full power she would still be outnumbered.


    A soft rumble of language passes between them. It¡¯s¡­ it''s so beautiful! Just like the way she talks. I don¡¯t understand any of the words, but I gather from their positions that it¡¯s not friendly.


    Why didn¡¯t you run!?! Why let yourself get surrounded?


    As I consider this, and how to help, the tallest of the group seems to step forward.


    She¡¯s¡­ oh wow. Not just tall but¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits. She¡¯s definitely the leader of this group. Everyone at least tilts their heads to listen. Where the others bear either no hair or a simple braid, she carries an entire mane of braided hair pitched with midnight hues. Eyes are a vibrant green, almost aglow with her intensity.


    Her Amwella is also twice the size of even the largest of the group. Seems to caress and dominate the air itself for almost three feet around her.


    Her words must barely be a whisper, because even with my Fae hearing they are lost to a subtle breeze.


    I furiously go through my coterie of magic. Scramble for something that can help. My songs and hymns and little muses of pain. Self-change and forest love songs, some healing. That¡¯s all I know! If these were humans I¡­ could maybe¡­ no. Not even then. The forest is my shield, my protector. Even the Fae folk won¡¯t venture into the Dead Dreamer¡¯s domain. Especially not for me.


    But these women¡­ fuck I¡¯m not sure what they are? My Fae mother told me nothing about them. Had no warnings about this, even in my hastened escape. How had they even got here? Standing now at my home¡¯s doorstep without even alerting me to their passing?!?


    Undreka bows her head, but not in submission, but a quick nod. Flexes her fingers and replies with a beautiful low humming of words.


    I¡­ I only catch a blur of motion. Undreka¡¯s Amwella flares, then the women around her move. Then there is a¡­ well a crack. In the space between a breath, or a blink of an eye, the beat of a bird¡¯s wings, and whatever threat of violence had been leveled was over. Carried out like a bolt of lightning.


    Next thing I know two of them lay a dozen feet back, arms or legs twisted in odd angles. The third tumbles over the leader''s head, impacts a tree, then falls to the forest floor.


    My heart sings in hope and triumph! Amwella be drowned! Skill and execution will always subdue raw strength!


    Undreka cracks her neck, clenched claws seem to almost¡­ yeah they seem to flicker with Amwella lightning and raw violent energy.


    There is a¡­ a rumble? Laughter? I hope that¡¯s not what seems to pass through the remaining intruders. The leader smiles then, and shows a similar row of sharp dark teeth that Undreka has.


    Fuck¡­ I¡­ I advance on my branch, move so that Undreka is below me by a few dozen feet. Consider dropping and¡­ um¡­ maybe I can bluff being as good with dangerous magic as Undreka? Perhaps¨C


    The leader spreads her hands, inviting, and whispers something to Undreka again. All mirth and anticipation. Two of the three do rise, arms and legs cracking back into place. But¡­ they don¡¯t seem but mildly annoyed by the damage. The third that hit the tree is taking longer, but is still recovering. The rest stand ready, but don¡¯t move.


    No¡­ no no no. You can do this! I can help. I¡¯ll drop down at the right moment. Scare them into¨C


    Undreka sighs, shakes her head, flexes her talons. More subtle cracks of energy. Then¡­ ever so subtly¡­ She adjusts her stance.


    The leader smiles wider, and moves like the shadow of night across a field of dying sunlight.


    If I barely caught the motions from the violence before, I''m even less aware of it now. It¡¯s¡­ like hearing the thunder after spotting a large crack of lightning on the horizon. One second Undreka stands ready to fight, the next¡­ the next she is broken beneath the leader.


    One leg twisted so far around I¡¯m surprised no bones have pierced the skin. Both arms are pinned and crushed by the leader''s larger hands. Her¡­ her face is also¡­ like¡­ Pulped fruit. Beautiful strong features torn and scorched as if by an unknown goddess''s wrath. Long raking scars run down her chest, cut clean through the Amwella that seems to bleed from her core.


    I stifle a scream. Feel tears begin to gather as I watch the leader rise and step back. Content to loom over her fallen prey.


    Undreka sputters out something, still beautiful and haunting. No one is laughing now. The leader¡¯s shoulders seem to sag an inch or so. Then she turns, waves a dismissive hand to the three now recovered women. They move quickly, but not urgently. Pull some kind of dark rope or metal cords from pouches and proceed to Undreka.


    As they pull her up, begin to bind her still twisted and broken form, I turn on my branch and face the canopy above.


    She¡­ they¡¯ll probably just leave now. Don¡¯t seem to care about whoever owns this hut. They¡¯re¡­ they¡¯re like her! Worse case you¡¯ll just run! Hide in the forest till they lose interest. I mean¡­ even if they try to tear down or burn my home I can just sing myself a new one. No problem. She¡­ they¡­


    I peek back around my branch. Sure enough the rest seem to be waiting patiently for them to finish binding their prisoner. Preparing to leave.


    And then you¡¯ll be alone again.


    I bite the bark of the tree. Alone¡­ is fine. I¡¯ve always been alone. People are terrible! First the humans, then the other Fae, and now Undreka. She¡­ she didn¡¯t like you anyway. Hated you! Found you vile. Used you for healing and¡­ and¡­ and¡­


    Even now I can¡¯t believe that last part. She owes you nothing. Selfish! Not horrible just because she wasn¡¯t attracted to you. She¡¯s¡­ you were falling in love with her because she was so kind and beautiful and so amazing at fighting to live! She also understood¡­ knew what it was to run from a past you¡¯d rather forget¡­ You almost considered telling her your own¨C


    Undreka¡¯s core has healed by now, no more Amwella leaks. But they don¡¯t seem to mind binding her arms in such a way that they hold her flesh so it can¡¯t heal easily. At least not until released.


    Too bad her past seems to have caught up to her.


    They¡¯ll leave soon, and I¡¯ll be alone again. Probably forever this time. Undreka and these people like her are the only beings I¡¯ve ever seen or heard of that could enter these woods.


    But how could I even save her? What magic do I have that could possibly contend with their strength?


    But the answer is there¡­ just¡­ not one that would end with my being alive anymore.


    ¡°No one!¡± She had yelled, pushing me off the edge of her treetop home. ¡°No one will ever be worth sacrificing your happiness for. Don¡¯t ever try to live in misery for another!¡±


    My Fae mother¡¯s last words to me burn at the idea. I can¡¯t help but picture her face, her smile and laugh and¡­ and¡­ how much she would hate me for what I¡¯ve already decided to do. For how I can save Undreka. For how I¡¯m about to kill my little slice of happiness I¡¯d worked so hard to claim.


    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    ¡°Is that what you did?¡± I whisper to the memory, ¡°When you adopted me? When you made me your daughter in all things? Did you sacrifice your happiness so I could find mine?¡±


    I¡¯d never know. But I was already using my sharpened talons to carve the cursed mark into my flesh.


    I roll and drop fifty feet from the branch, my silent song shedding away as I land in a crouch on the soft bloodstained grass. My body is so light and soft that no fall could ever do harm so long as my feet get beneath me. In the time it took me to prepare the Lament, they¡¯ve drug Undreka almost to the edge of my clearing. They hear the soft sound, which¡­ I¡¯m not sure if I¡¯m surprised by that. Only a few turn, curious to see what little forest creature has thought to wander so close. I need to meet her eyes, get a clear line of sight to save Undreka.


    So I take a deep breath and decide to make a show of my death. To use this morning''s rejections to fuel¨C


    I weave a wailing song together and hiss it across my little grove at the intruders, all bleating sorrow and self-loathing. A harmony of rage and fear and threat at being violated by their very presence.


    It almost works too well. Anyone in the group who either didn¡¯t hear my fall or didn¡¯t care now jerks around at my challenge. The leader turns with a lazy, albeit surprised, annoyance playing at her face. Jade eyes dance toward me and¨C


    I lock eyes with her, and release the final notes of my curse within my screaming song.


    The air grows cold and everything seems to lean away from me. The grass bows as if from a great wind, the trees at the edge of my grove creak and seem to wail, even the light seems to try and flee.


    Burning. A searing fucking fire stabs into my Amwella. Worse even than when I had re-woven my flesh and body into the female Fae shape it holds now. I know bloody tears drip down my face, but I clench my jaw tight and remain standing as I complete my Lament. Take a quick, and hopefully subtle, gasp to reclaim my breath.


    Don¡¯t fall, can¡¯t show weakness here. These are predators. Fucking monsters who can and will pounce unless I convince them I¡¯m just as scary as they are.


    The leader flinches, confused at her own sudden pain. Looks down to see an angry red brand forming on her collarbone, touches it with her fingers, stares at their bloody tips.


    The rest stare at one of us in clear surprise. Some flex claws and look to be ready to move to kill me. One seems to have some kind of¡­ really really large bow, they notch an arrow as thick as my arm and begin to aim in my direction.


    Undreka perks up a little, tries to glance back as the song fades and its echoes die in the wind.


    ¡°Lyra!¡± She calls. ¡°Leave!¡±


    The leader doesn¡¯t even look at her, Jade eyes flick up to regard me.


    ¡°I¡¯ve¡­¡± I swallow, try to muster my courage and false confidence. ¡°I¡¯ve come to negotiate for Undreka¡¯s life and freedom.¡±


    Low rumbles¡­ not¡­ not laughter. Some amusement from a few, but others¡­ Well, it¡¯s not anger or annoyance at least.


    The leader¡¯s eyes narrow. ¡°Little forest Fae?¡± She purrs, voice a thrum of barely concealed danger. ¡°You scratch me, then offer to sing the wound closed for a boon?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°No little scratch. That¡¯s a Lament¡­a¡­ a curse. Set and burned into you now. Not even I can remove it. Even if you killed me it would remain.¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡± That''s a low rumble of¡­ annoyance? ¡°So¡­ what is there to negotiate? The details? How I might nullify its bite?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I drop tired hands as I feel the curse wrap around my own soul, slowly draining my Amwella. Like sap from a tree. ¡°You get that for free.¡±


    That gets a raised eyebrow, a quirk at the edge of her lips. A non-verbal, I¡¯m listening.


    Deep breath, then¡­


    ¡°It¡¯s a Lament of sympathy and spite. For as long as you pursue or keep Undreka it will leech your Amwella. For as long as she is a person you desire, in any capacity, and you try to fulfill that desire it will draw out and disperse more and more of your Amwella.¡±


    She does laugh then, low and threatening.


    ¡°It¡¯ll keep getting worse. Way worse.¡± I quickly add. Voice getting a bit higher pitch from my sudden fear that she might act before I finish. ¡°And if you do kill me it¡¯ll double¡­ instantly.¡±


    ¡°Lyra!¡± Undreka calls out again. ¡°End it. Just run!¡±


    A shake of her bonds causes Undreka to hiss in pain. I wince as the curse flares. The leader doesn¡¯t seem to react, but her eyes do seem to glitter in¡­ amusement?


    ¡°Hmmm¡­¡± A head tilt, ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Wh¡­ why?¡± I stammer, not expecting the question. ¡°Why what?¡±


    Because she didn¡¯t hate me? Because I¡¯d hope she¡¯d hold me and love me and... Because I¡¯m too stupid and tired of just trying to survive in a life that hates me. That I¡¯d rather¡­ rather die here for someone I genuinely care for than watch her leave me?


    ¡°Why would it double? If you were killed?¡±


    Oh. right. She won¡¯t care about me. About my petty selfish broken reasons.


    I reach down and pull my hair and shirt aside to reveal an identical mark to hers on my own collarbone, ¡°Because I¡¯m currently bearing half its burden. I anchored it to me first to make sure it took maximum effect. If I die, you get all of it.¡±


    That gets genuine surprise from her, a glance back at Undreka¡¯s bound form, then to me. Disbelief? It¡¯s gone then¡­ fuck she is really hard to read!


    ¡°If¡­ if you can see Amwella you¡¯ll see the drain. If we don¡¯t let her go, or you kill her, it¡¯ll get really big and horrible really fast.¡± I call out.


    Jade eyes sparkle, focus on my mark. She has Amwella sight? She sees it. Sees the truth of the curse. Then her eyes flit over¡­ well kinda my everything. Drinking in the subtleties and twists of my Fae-changed flesh.


    I can¡¯t help but hug myself and shiver against the observations, and the gathering cold. I¡¯m only wearing my simple torn sleeping shirt and little pair of shorts. The curse is far far worse to me than her. My little fire wouldn¡¯t survive a few weeks of even this drain. False strength is useless at this point. Now comes the¡­ well my offer.


    ¡°You said you wanted to¡­ negotiate.¡± She doesn¡¯t move, doesn¡¯t shift, just¡­ locks her unreadable gaze on me. ¡°What is it you offer then?¡±


    I sigh. It should be obvious. When I glance up to see Undreka¡¯s slowly healing face, it''s plain she knows what my offer is. I¡¯ve killed myself for her.


    ¡°Me¨C¡± I look past them all. Struggling to speak the words. A deep breath steadies me. ¡°You get me instead.¡±


    A low rumble goes through the group.


    ¡°Hmmm¡­¡± The leader considers.


    ¡°What¡­ whatever it is you wanted from her. Whatever she was to you. I¡¯ll suffer it.¡± I harden my gaze, meet the leader¡¯s stare. ¡°Or¡­ well whatever. I won¡¯t resist. Won¡¯t turn any magics against you or yours. Even¡­ even when you decide to kill me.¡±


    Her eyes bore into mine. ¡°She¡­ Undreka was... Is, ours.¡±


    Well¡­ that makes me bristle.


    ¡°One way or another. That¡¯s behind her now.¡± I grit my teeth. ¡°You can either accept that, let her go and accept the revenge you can take out on me. Or¡­ well, try and live with that Lament as it bores a hole through your Amwella.¡±


    She¡­ Well, to call her next sound a growl is to call a blade of grass a tree. It¡¯s a complex noise that blends a ton of things together into a low rumble. I shudder again and look away.


    ¡°No one gets what they want out of this.¡± I murmur after it fades, ¡°Not me, not you, not¡­ well I guess Undreka gets her freedom. But¡­¡±


    I look at Undreka. Her face is plain horror and sadness and¨C


    ¡°Don¡¯t.¡± I hiss at her. ¡°Just¡­ don¡¯t. It¡¯s done now. Nothing I can do. I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sorry about this morning.¡±


    ¡°You can still run.¡± She pleads. No one stops her this time. ¡°Go! You don¡¯t understand what they¡¯ll do to you!¡±


    ¡°I really can¡¯t.¡± I sigh, tap the curse mark. ¡°Even if I run I won¡¯t last long. Unless you''re freed and alive it¡¯ll kill me within a few days. I don¡¯t have as much Amwella as you all.¡±


    She chokes on an angry bite, then turns to whisper hushed words to the leader in their shared beautiful language. I wish I could understand any of it, but even then I know her desperate words are a plea for me. Begging for my life.


    I expect¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­ annoyance? Anger? Dreamer¡¯s tits, even a reply of dark promises to make my death slow and painful seem reasonable. But instead the leader jerks her head back in surprise to stare at Undreka. Then slowly looks back at me with narrowed fascination.


    ¡°What¡­ exactly, are you?¡± She asks.


    ¡°I¡­ what?¡± I glare past her at Undreka. ¡°What did you tell her?¡±


    Undreka glares back with defiant resolve. ¡°Enough to save you.¡±


    I shudder and hug myself tighter, huff at the wave of exhaustion that is beginning to hit. Then I let myself fall back and plop down on the grass. That makes most of them glace between each other, confused at the sudden motion of what they probably see as weakness. She¡¯s just trying to convince her leader that a Fae slave would be better than a dead one.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. I¡­ look. Just let her go and you get me. I won¡¯t fight back. won¡¯t¨C¡±


    ¡°Who gave you your songs, little human?¡± The leader purrs at me.


    That stops my heart, freezes my blood cold. She¡­ I didn¡¯t tell Undreka this! Or¡­ had I let something slip? Had¡­ how could she have figured that out? Why would she tell this¡­ this monster that?


    My change was perfect. My Fae-mother had taught me the songs well, and I was resolved to scour away all traces of my old dead self. She was convinced that I would walk the summer pathways, accepted and loved in the Midday Courts by our kind.


    Fae are not bred like other races. They instead adopt young forest creatures and raise them. Teach them songs, people thoughts, and where to poop. From there some find the ability to sing themselves into something more. Generally humanoid, but with the ability to shift other aspects of themselves if they have the songs and will for it.


    But I was never a mouse or a squirrel or a bird, I was a human. Pulled from the edge of the Dream by my Fae mother¡¯s love and care.


    I¡¯d never been good at hiding my emotions, never spent enough time among others to develop the skill. So when she spoke half my past shame into the space between us my face must have shown the terror and hurt at the betrayal.


    The leader laughs, first low and deep. Then a roaring harmony of joy and anticipation and¡­ something else.


    ¡°Okay¡­ little half-breed. We¨C¡±


    ¡°My name is Lyra. And I am Fae.¡± I hiss and move to a crouch, then rise again. Keeping my eyes on her as I continue. ¡°None of the court is born, we are taught to sing ourselves into being from the smallest of the forest! We are raised and loved to¨C¡±


    ¡°Yet here you are.¡± Her voice, thought quiet, cuts me off and drives old pains through my heart. ¡°Very¡­ Alone.¡±


    That hurts so much I flinch, almost fall over, have to take a second to look down and balance my shaking legs.


    When I look up she has already crossed three-fourths the distance to reach me. I almost fall back in surprise, but manage to make it a few paces.


    ¡°St¡­ stop!¡± I stammer.


    She doesn¡¯t, and I end up actually stumbling a bit. Only saved from falling when I reach the front of my home and bump into the door. This huge woman only pauses when there are about three feet between us. From her display earlier, I know I am well and truly cornered, even if my Amwella wasn¡¯t being drained by the curse.


    ¡°My name is Thendra,¡± She purrs down at me, ¡°A Reaver of the Thirteen. And I think I am ready to bargain, Lyra of the Fae.¡±


    I swallow.


    Thendra only smiles at my obvious fear. ¡°We¡¯ll let Undreka go, release her into a safe place. Never pursue her again. And you become mine in her stead.¡±


    I nod. ¡°That¡­ yeah that was the offer.¡±


    She holds up a hand, single finger pointing up. ¡°No. There is one more thing you will give me.¡±


    I¡¯m so tired and spun up tight with fear and anxiety and¡­ well¡­ her knowing my past is not something I expected to deal with! Being called a human and half-breed and¡­ Dreamer''s tits there¡¯s only like¡­ one other thing I could be called right now that could make this day any worse!


    So I snort out a laugh, ¡°What else could I possibly offer you? You already get my¡­ well everything! And I won¡¯t resist. Won¡¯t sing magic or lay curses. Just¨C¡±


    Thendra steps forward, lays both hands against the wall on either side of my face, kneels a bit and levels her eyes with mine. I am dumbstruck, then, by how gorgeous she is. Undreka was¡­ is amazing to watch. All hard feminine strength and confident steady control. But¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits!!! Thendra is so much more than that. She exudes a¡­ a beauty that defies logic. And even without activating my Amwella sight I can almost feel her¡¯s envelope me completely.


    ¡°I want your songs.¡± She moves a hand to hover in front of my face, palm up. Then she closes it. ¡°Sealed and mute, unless I call upon them.¡±


    Her eyes make it so hard to focus. Two pools of glowing jade that seem to draw me in and hold my attention.


    ¡°Okay? Sure.¡± I stutter, ¡°I already said that.¡±


    She shakes her head. ¡°Your word isn¡¯t good enough. I want your magic in my grasp. I want you to curse yourself, bind your magic to my commands alone.¡±


    I¡­ I can¡¯t help but grow very cold and still at that. By showing her that I could lay curses, that they are at their strongest when I anchor them to me, I set myself up for this.


    Dreamer''s tits, that¡­ that¡¯s¨C


    ¡°Oh.¡± Is all I can murmur. ¡°Not¡­ not like a general curse of¡­ like¡­ loyalty? Or¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°How will you know I laid the right one?¡±


    She smiles, taps beneath one eye. ¡°When you told me what to look for, I could read it easily enough. If you place the wrong curse¡­ well¡­¡±


    She lets the threat trail off.


    ¡°Okay. Why? What could you possibly want with my songs? They¡¯re¡­ just¡­ little things. Forest things¡­¡±


    She smiles, all tooth and hunger and so intense I cannot look away. She whispers, ¡°You are young and unique, little Fae. Your kind¡¯s songs grow and change and become a reflection of their musicians'' will. I want to control that, direct it. Drink it.¡±


    My mind shudders at that¡­ at¡­ being wanted. I can¡¯t help but feel a part of my body I¡¯d been ignoring since my disastrous attempts at seduction this morning rear up and take notice at her tone. She called me unique. Like I was special and¡­ like... Drink? What does that even¨C


    But, Dreamer¡¯s Tits, this isn¡¯t good! She wants me for my magic. Nothing else!!!


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡± I huff, ¡°Okay, that¡¯s kind of¡­ Just, give me a second to¡­ to think.¡±


    She doesn¡¯t look away, doesn¡¯t shift a muscle. Just keeps staring into my eyes.


    ¡°What if¡­¡± I try to look past her, to Undreka, but Thendra is too big and makes no move to let my vision involve much else but her. I look down to my feet, voice dropping to a whisper. ¡°I¡­ I expected you to just kill me. Or worse¡­ Not this. Not¨C My songs aren''t just magic. They¡¯re a part of me. My soul. I¡¯m not sure they would do much for you.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s either this, or there is no deal. And we eat you both.¡± She murmurs, then reaches out and takes my chin in her fingers. And with very little effort, forces me to meet her gaze again. ¡°Do you accept?¡±


    I can feel the warmth roll down my spine at her touch. What the fuck am I thinking! This is really really bad. I¡¯m about to give up my songs, my magic, to this¡­ whatever the fuck she is, and am now letting horny thoughts left over from my heartbreak this morning make me feel better about it! She¡¯s more likely to torture, kill, and eat my corpse than fuck me! And even then, it would be as her slave.


    But¡­ that¡¯s the only option now, isn¡¯t it? Best hope she¡¯s a kinder monster than¨C


    ¡°Okay.¡± I whisper, then quieter and quieter. ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ okay. I¡¯ll do it.¡±


    She doesn¡¯t let go. ¡°Can you do it here? Right now?¡±


    I manage to shake a few of the horny thoughts away to remember why I was agreeing to this. ¡°Let her go first.¡±


    Thendra quirks an eyebrow.


    I huff, try to regain some of my earlier courage. ¡°Her being here drains us both, remember? I don¡¯t have as much Amwella to spare as you do. Let her go so I can lay a second curse without killing myself!¡±


    She smiles, and rumbles out a true laugh as she releases my chin, and I can¡¯t help but shudder in fear at how her eyes drink me in.

 Chapter 2: Shadows Gather, Dreamer stirs

    Just like before, the curse will take only a moment to cast.


    But¡­ Unlike before, I¡¯m not blinded by adrenaline, fear, and the maddening brain rot of post-rejection¡­ things.


    I have to think about what I¡¯m doing, and I need to come to terms with what this curse will mean for my future. And as we wait for the two women escorting Undreka to return, I can feel the panic begin to rise and choke me.


    My magic is¡­ how I communicate with the world. Like¡­ I didn¡¯t just sit and listen to the sounds of the trees and the tunes of the birds, I sing back! They know me, love me¡­ and¡­


    Will I even be able to say goodbye?


    ¡°Can¨C¡± I look up to Thendra, who¡¯s hovering over me as I sit on the grass.


    I realize then that she¡¯s not taken her eyes off me since she¡¯d had Undreka sent away, and that¡­ I don¡¯t know what to do with that. Don¡¯t know how to feel about that. I expected pain and abuse and probably a quick and brutal death¡­ but this? This attention? The intense stare? Like I¡¯m something valuable she wants to make sure doesn¡¯t slip away?


    She raises an eyebrow.


    I realize I just froze after a single word and was staring, ¡°I just¡­ I was wondering if I could say goodbye first?¡±


    A confused furrow comes across Thendra¡¯s brow, ¡°Undreka is already away from our grasp. You can feel it in the mark too, correct?¡±


    ¡°No, not her. I mean yes I can feel that. And I¡¯ll lay¡­ do that thing when they return. I just¡­¡± I sigh and look down. ¡°Wanted to sing my goodbyes to¡­ well¡­ everything here. To this tree that let me build my home inside it, to the birds¡­ and¡­ To the forest. If¡­ if that won¡¯t¡­¡±


    I trail off. Let the request sit. Begin to fear she¡¯s grown angry at the question. Thinks I mean to wriggle from her grasp now that Undreka is gone and safe.


    ¡°Go on then, Little Fae.¡±


    I look up to see¡­ a smirk. A return of that same smile as before, the one oozing joy at¡­ something.


    I¡­ don¡¯t understand her. But I¡¯m just too exhausted emotionally to think about it. So I rise and walk over to the closest place where I can lay a hand on my beloved tree, and start humming my farewells.


    There is magic in it, and it does cost a little Amwella. But my body is already regenerating everything I¡¯d lost from the curses bleed.


    It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s not like talking to a person. The tree¡¯s subtle groans and creaks aren''t a secret language returning my sorrow, but¡­ It is communicating things back to me. Just not people things. All the plants are this way. And most of the bugs too.


    The birds and bees are the most understanding. Being of warm blood and motion and such they can share in some of my grief. They fly down from their branches to land on my shoulder and arms. Cuddling and nuzzling against my neck.


    But then they move on, and I¡¯m left standing alone as I see the two women return from the corners of my vision.


    I jerk to find Thendra looming over me. I didn¡¯t even hear her approach, didn¡¯t feel her presence until she wished me to.


    Fear grips my heart then, and I consider running. Think of refusing to bind my magic to her will. Debate how likely she would be to re-negotiate our earlier conversation now that Undreka is gone.


    Do I regret this? If I could turn back time, redo this day, would I stay hidden and let Undreka be taken?


    ¡°It¡¯s time.¡± She purrs down to me, eyes alight with anticipation and hunger. I can¡¯t help but shudder as I feel her stare wash down over me, I have to look away.


    No¡­ I might have wanted to save Undreka at first, but¡­ now? I¡¯m really selling myself to this monster for¡­ what? I could just say no now. Accept death. Might even be able to make sure she has to make it quick!


    But¡­ I don¡¯t move. Just¡­ stare back up into her hypnotizing Jade eyes.


    Why can¡¯t I do it then? What is this¡­ anticipation? I¡¯ve had pretty people try and kill me before. Why is she making me feel this way?


    I almost choke on the answer. It¡¯s the feeling of being wanted. Of being valuable.


    I reach a talon up to my collarbone, ready to carve and sing another curse into my skin.


    Deep breath, Now¨C


    Then her hand is gripping mine, gentle but firm.


    I jerk to stare back up at her, a question on my face. Did¡­ did she change her mind? Maybe she¡¯ll take me without binding my¨C


    Her gaze seems to pass over me then. Considering¡­


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    ¡°Does it matter where it goes?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ what?¡±


    ¡°Can this go anywhere, or does it need to go there?¡±


    ¡°No. It¡¯s just¡­ I¡­¡± I stumble over my answer. Trying to understand¨C


    A low rumble moves through her as that large predatory grin shows me her teeth. She steps up very close, leans down and reaches around me, hovers for a second, then taps my right butt-cheek with a single finger. ¡°Place it here.¡±


    I sputter at that, feel a blush burn at my cheeks. ¡°Wha¡­ what? Why?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d prefer the mark to be there.¡± She purrs.


    ¡°I don¡¯t¨C¡±


    ¡°Lyra.¡± She takes my chin between two fingers, forcing me to meet her gaze. ¡°Place the mark.¡±


    That Amwella drowned repressed horny part of my brain can¡¯t help but jerk me into paying attention.


    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t¡­ I¡¯m not sure why¨C¡± I squirm.


    A growl jerks me to silence, playfulness no longer seems to tint her eyes now.


    ¡°Fine! Okay!¡± I huff and she lets me pull away.


    I pause, look past her to the waiting group. And of course they are all watching with various levels of interest. I glance back up to her, considering asking if I can do this inside my home.


    Her looming gaze bears no question as to what her answer would be.


    So I slip out of my shorts, grit my teeth and¡­


    Deep breath.


    Then I am carving chains, binding and horrible, into my flesh.


    Only a few seconds of pain, then a whisper of song as I hum the Lamentation¡¯s shape into being. It¡¯s a guttural thing, ugly and laced with old pain of having a part of myself trapped. Of my soul being bound within flesh and will.


    I will only sing when commanded by Thendra.


    I will always sing when commanded by Thendra.


    I will stop singing when commanded by Thendra.


    I anchor it to me, and seal it in the brand I¡¯ve carved into my right ass-cheek. I feel a second hot poker pierce my core of Amwella, and melt itself into place.


    The song fades, a beat of silence passes, and¡­


    Terror wars with logic as I begin to shake violently. All the weight of this decision hitting me like a cold wash of rain. I knew nothing would change right away. Unless I break the word of the curse it won¡¯t hurt me. But¡­ it¡¯s like a hand shoved and caught in my throat. A slow realization of suffocation and¨C


    I start hyperventilating.


    I¡­ I betrayed my mother. Taken her best gift and sealed it away. I¡¯ve locked my magic behind this¡­ this monster! Let my loneliness drive me into madness and slavery!


    I look up to the forest, and it gets worse.


    I hear its ever changing melodies call to me, and I yearn to rely. To beg it to help me. To hide me and protect me like it always has.


    Reflexively, I draw up my Amwella and begin to form a song. Then the curse plunges its stinger into me.


    Oh¡­


    If the earlier curse was like a slowly growing tide of weariness, this is like a knife stabbed into my spine. While it only actually pierced my Amwella for a split second, the amount lost is sudden and very very noticeable.


    I stumble, fall, and break out into trembling gasps as I curl around myself. Panic and pain and sorrow overwhelming me. I¡¯m not breathing, can¡¯t even try as my throat seals shut. Can¡¯t think past the waters of madness and pain. Darkness gathers around the corners of my vision.


    Then Thendra kneels down next to me, places a hand over my still bloody curse mark.


    ¡°Sing what healing you need.¡± She commands, soft but sharp.


    I don¡¯t hesitate. I¡¯m stammering and sobbing out a song from the pits of my soul. Just... singing to feel that it¡¯s still there.


    To comfort my breaking heart.


    Well¡­ A little voice amidst the pain chides me¡­ it¡¯s been shattered so many times before. Not sure there¡¯s much left worth fixing at this point.


    The curse mark doesn¡¯t move, doesn¡¯t sting, so I pour more of myself into what I feel could be my last song.


    I¡­ I don¡¯t know how long Thendra lets me lay there, but I can¡¯t help but add the rivaling hatred and¡­ well¡­ desire for her desires, into my song.


    I¡¯m vaguely aware of the other women¡¯s sudden shouts and cries of alarm as my sobbing song shifts, of how the air goes cold and begins to frost everything for ten feet around me.


    How old shadows gather about my twisting form and consider my wailing cries. Of how the Dreamer herself begins to stir at my¨C


    ¡°Stop.¡± Thendra demands.


    The curse''s sting chokes my words, leaves me wheezing and sobbing in silence as whatever magic I¡¯d been twisting into existence dies.


    There are more sharp exclamations in their gorgeous tongue. A few hushed murmurs of worry. I even hear the thrum of that huge bow¡¯s string get pulled back.


    But then it all cuts off at a single crisp word from Thendra.


    I blink away the melting frost tears, glance up to her, terrified at what I might find. She¡¯s never going to let me sing again. Not after¨C


    That predatory grin is what looms over me. Victory and joy and such deep hunger.


    It helps take the edge off the pain, numbs it into something bearable. Ends what might have been a second fall into maddened panic.


    Then she¡¯s wrapping arms under my legs and back, lifting me. Cradling my exhausted body close to her chest. I¡¯m too tired to even pretend I could resist this. Even if it¡¯s¨C


    She¡¯s so warm. I realize, and can¡¯t help but lean my face into her.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I murmur.


    A low rumbling chuckle runs through her, ¡°Have you ever done that before, my Lyra?¡±


    My Lyra. The words send twisting thrums through my heart.


    I shake my head. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know. I wasn¡¯t¡­ I wasn¡¯t really paying attention.¡±


    Thendra thinks about that as she carries me through her group. I¡¯m too afraid to look out at them.


    ¡°Did¡­¡± My panic does begin to return then. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t mean to. I just¡­ you told me to try and¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Her words silence me. ¡°You did as you were told. And showed me that I have made a very good bargain today.¡±


    Something inside me breaks at that. At being a good¡­ well¡­ anything. I play the memory of her calling me ¡®her Lyra¡¯ in my head over and over and over again as I dissolve into a sobbing mess. I don¡¯t really have any energy or tears left, so it ends up just being a quiet shaking thing.


    Thendra¡­ oh Dreamers Tits she makes it worse. She actually pulls me closer, doesn¡¯t even seem annoyed or angry at my whimpering sobs. Even¡­ and fuck if this wasn¡¯t an odd thing to hear from an eight-foot tall monster in the shape of the most attractive woman I¡¯d ever seen, shushes me a few times. Murmurs sweet sounding nothings¡­ Although they are in her language so she could have been saying really mean things, but I¡¯m just¡­ too tired to even worry about that.


    Then there is a¡­ tearing sound. And I can¡¯t help but peek out from my little emotional puddle to see how they entered my forest without alerting my song wards.


    A Rift of purple twisting light sits at the edge of my clearing, and beyond it lays a shimmering plain of dark sand. A woman beside the Rifts hand glows with similar energy to it.


    Oh.


    I¡¯d seen something like this once before. At a distance. My mother had taken me to see the Midday Court a few days after my changes were finished. In the center of that treetop city of twisting impossibly shaped architecture, lay three huge gateways. Each supported a Rift like this.


    I¡¯d never gone through them, but¡­ at the time I loved the idea of adventure in this new and perfect body.


    There is no ceremony, no real¡­ importance given to this amazing feat of magic. Thendra just carries me through.


    A second of vertigo, where I feel like I¡¯m suddenly being yanked upwards and sideways instead of down, and then we¡¯re across. Hot dry air washes over me, and I can¡¯t help but cough a little. I consider asking to be put down, insisting I can walk. But Thendra¡¯s warm arms pull me close against her chest and the thought melts from my mind.


    Then she turns, and I see a city of charcoal brimstone and cerulean jade jutting from the sands. Once the last of her women pass through the Rift, I watch as it sputters and closes.


    Then they all begin to walk toward the city.


    I¡­ I don¡¯t remember much. There are tons of stairs and soon I realize the city goes even farther down as it does up. I remember that not anyone here is like Thendra and her group. Most are human¡­ish. I don¡¯t think I see any Fae. But there are other beings that I don¡¯t recognize.


    I just don¡¯t have the energy to care though, and let myself pass into a fitful sleep.

 Chapter 3: Allies with Eyestalks

    I awaken to multiple little body things that call for my attention.


    Firstly, I have to pee.


    Secondly, My mouth and eyes and everything feel very very dry.


    Thirdly, I am wrapped in way too many blankets and am overheating.


    I sit up, rub my eyes, and open my mouth to sing a greeting to my tree and all the plants and bugs and little critters whom¨C


    ¡°Stop.¡± A voice purrs, jarring my everything to a sudden halt and nearly causing my first problem to become a fourth.


    Pain, sharp and hard prickles against my core, but stops just before stabbing into my Amwella.


    I open my eyes in a sudden panic.


    I lay atop a pile of cushions on a soft bed, wrapped in vast colorful quilts that smell of spiced¡­ somethings¡­ and my own sweat. The room I¡¯m in is really really big, bigger than my entire hut. Various furnishings of a variety of colors blur into focus.


    But off to one side is a huge, beautiful, dark skinned woman dressed in a simple blue tunic and shawl hunched over a desk stacked with books and scrolls. Jade eyes meet mine, and everything from the previous day comes crashing down at once.


    I¡¯m so devoid of liquids that all that comes out is a quiet croak as I stare at her.


    She nods to the side of the bed, to a nightstand with a waterskin resting atop it.


    I have to crawl a few feet to be able to reach out and take it. I drink greedily to try and wash down some of my panic.


    Once I''m done I cork it and cradle it to my chest.


    Thendra still watches me, quirks an eyebrow in question.


    ¡°I¡­ I need to pee.¡± I murmur.


    She nods, then points a thumb to a doorway.


    I set the waterskin aside and begin to push the blankets off and¨C


    I just pause, staring down at my soft bare skin and subtle feminine curves.


    ¡°Why am I naked?¡± I whisper.


    Thendra just chuckles and looks back down to¡­ whatever it was she was working on.


    I don¡¯t see my clothes nearby. So I just sigh and wriggle free, cross the room and enter the bathroom. It¡¯s¡­ simple, but big. I spot a bath and find the thing I need. I try to not consider the events of the day as I relieve myself.


    After a few moments I¡¯m back in the main room. Quickly, but without making it obvious I¡¯m rushing, I scurry back to the bed and cover myself in the large blankets.


    Then I just sit there amidst the warmth, trying to not think too hard about how¡­ well¡­ how much I¡¯m trapped. I want to sing. Want to hum little melodies and stories and feel my magic stir the air and life around me.


    But even opening my mouth and urging my Amwella to gather causes the curse to prick at me.


    I huff out a little annoyed sob as my Amwella falls back around my core. Wince as it sits like hot bile in my stomach and sours. I curl my knees up to my chest and pull the blankets tighter.


    I don¡¯t know how long she waits, but Thendra seems content to do¡­ whatever it is she is doing. Doesn¡¯t try to stop me from stewing at my situation.


    The final events of¡­ was that yesterday? Or longer?


    ¡°How long was I sleeping?¡± I break the silence.


    She glances up, takes a second to study me, then replies. ¡°Twelve hours or so.¡±


    I nod, unsurprised. I¡¯d done the same back when my mother cast me out. And even back when the humans who called themselves my parents had¨C


    I shake the old memories away, Time to focus on the now.


    I look back up to her. She¡¯s moved without my noticing. Just like in my forest. Is now in front of that desk, leaning against it while staring at me.


    ¡°Do you need to sing?¡± She purrs.


    Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits, yes. I want to. But¡­ would that help? The thought of the sting at the end, of the pain of losing my songs to its bite¡­


    I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head, trying to stifle the panic that¡¯s rising.


    You can¡¯t go back. This is your life now! You should just skip the panic and crying and sadness and jump right to the¨C


    My thoughts stutter to a halt as I feel the bed shift under a new weight. I jerk my head and can¡¯t help but fall back a little into the cushions as she looms over me.


    Her¡­ well everything washes over me. I realize the spicy smell of the bed is all her, that I am in her bed.


    Oh.


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    She doesn¡¯t say anything at first, just pierces me with those Jade eyes.


    My mouth moves before my mind can approve the question. ¡°You¡­ This is your bed. Where did you sleep last night?¡±


    A tilt of her head, ¡°You don¡¯t recall?¡±


    A short lived panic that has nothing to do with magical songs flashes in my mind. But Thendra shifts into a silent answer. She doesn¡¯t pull the blankets aside, just moves to lay beside me. Curls her huge frame to cradle my tiny form. One hand moves around my head while the other wraps over me. Pulls me close. This bed is more than big enough for the both of us.


    ¡°Oh.¡±


    A low Rumbling purr is her only reply.


    Her warmth is¡­ well combined with the quilts I can understand how I got so overheated. I''m starting to get a little hot now. But to fix that would either involve asking Thendra to leave, or kicking the blankets off and laying with her naked. I can¡¯t help but squirm a little as I debate the two horrible choices.


    Then her hand moves into my hair and¡­ fuck. It¡¯s a tangled mess but her giant hand is super gentle and she begins to run her fingers through it and along my scalp and¡­


    The last time someone touched my hair like this was my Fae mother. She used to comb and brush my hair. Even before my change. It helped calm me, smooth out the wrinkles of my anxiety when I got the songs wrong. And during my change¡­ as the twistings wracked my body and left me a blubbering mess of pain on her floor, she would hold me. Sing words of comfort while her hands ran through my hair.


    I feel water gather, and I squeeze my eyes shut.


    ¡°Sing.¡± Thendra demands.


    My mouth opens, and I obey. The song is a low hum. A simple morning¡¯s greeting to all the life around me. I weave titters and melodies for birds and plants and trees and¨C


    There is no answer here, no harmony sung back by a forest in reply. I choke out a sob, and mangle it into the tune. Let the song turn into one that bares my grief like a leaf holding rainwater. After a few moments the weight is too much. The song tilts and the burden is allowed to fall away. All that remains is the soft echoing fear of the unknown. Of being in the grasp of a monster who holds the magic of my soul in her hands.


    As the song begins to fade from my lips I do look at her through blurry eyes, a question.


    Stop?


    In reply she moves one giant hand to my cheek, leans down, and¡­


    I freeze in surprise and terror as she¡­ she sort of wraps my mouth in hers and inhales the final notes of my song. Seems to consume the little dribbles of Amwella I laced it with. Then my song is gone, but her command still stands. I feel the curse begin to press into me, start to¨C


    ¡°Stop.¡± She murmurs into me.


    The sting halts just before pain, and I gasp out in relief.


    A pause, enough for me to suck in a few more gasping breaths. She doesn¡¯t pull away, only moves to press her lips to mine. Begins to¨C


    Oh¡­ so I guess this is my first kiss?


    The hand in my hair tightens and curls to grip it hard, while the other moves a thumb over my throat. Her warm breath fills me, and I can feel my heart speed up and a deep warmth roll down my spine like warm syrup. My body begs for me to just¡­ melt into this. And the thoughts I¡¯d usually rely on shutting that part of me down are very worryingly absent.


    After a moment I manage to place a hand to her chest, push.


    She pauses, but doesn¡¯t pull away, just¡­ shifts her mouth more to my jaw. I try to turn my head, try to get more space, but her hand in my hair holds me still.


    ¡°Space.¡± I whisper, ¡°Personal space. Please.¡±


    She purrs a¡­ well It must have a question in there somewhere! Right? But it¡¯s so much more. It¡¯s also¡­ a warning? A¡­ Dreamer¡¯s tits. This is harder to understand than that beautiful language she speaks!


    ¡°I¡­ I need room to¡­ to think. To¨C¡±


    She adjusts, and I feel those teeth graze the skin of my neck. ¡°You made a bargain, little Fae.¡±


    That stops me short. ¡°I¡­ what? I don¡¯t¨C¡±


    I feel something warm and rough and a little damp begin to dance across my jawline. ¡°Said you¡¯d suffer whatever we willed, said you¡¯d not resist me.¡±


    Oh. A not very small part of me screams to just¡­ stop pretending. Stop acting like you weren¡¯t really really hoping Thendra would¡­ well¡­ want you. Like this.


    I let out a frustrated huff, all horny energy and embarrassment and panic. ¡°I was expecting death or torture! Not¡­ not this!¡±


    A low rumble. Probably meaning something like; If you didn¡¯t want this you should have stayed hidden in your tree.


    I pull my hands up to cover my eyes. It¡¯s all too much. I¡¯m too fucking emotionally ravaged and raw to be¡­ like¡­ actually getting ravaged by a giant monster lady.


    But it¡¯s too late for that now, isn¡¯t it?


    Then she¡¯s back over my face. I peek at her between my hands.


    I¡­ I¡¯m not sure what she means to say in that stare. But what I hear growling down through it is; Stop pretending you have a choice in these things.


    I let my hands fall away to the pillows and cushions. And after a deep breath I let myself accept that. Begin to embrace it even.


    ¡°Okay.¡± I breathe up to her.


    A quirk at her lips, then she¡¯s farther down¡­ teeth press just a little too hard into my collarbone where the curse sits. It won¡¯t affect it, but her teeth are sharp and I¡¯m almost certain she¡¯s going to draw blood.


    I twitch, let out a little yelp ,and can¡¯t stop myself from pressing my legs together against the growing warmth.


    Then she¡¯s pushing the quilts away, and her free hand moves to the soft skin of my hip. Teeth are at my breasts and¨C


    There is a call, quick and beautiful and loud.


    Thendra growls. All annoyance and anger. So clear in her unhappiness that I can¡¯t help but twitch in fear at it.


    Then I realize we¡¯re not alone. Someone stands in the doorway, I am just able to peek around Thendra¡¯s mass to see one of the women from her group. She was the one with the big bow, although she isn¡¯t carrying it now.


    Thendra doesn¡¯t turn, only pulls away from me by a few inches. Growls a reply.


    There is an exchange. So fluid and soft and absolutely dripping with anger from Thendra that I can¡¯t help but wince a few times. Then she huffs out a sigh, and turns to glare at the women. Bow woman quirks a knowing smile, and begins to turn. Thendra calls to her again, murmurs something. The woman¡¯s eyes flit to me, and her smile sours. A short reply, then she is gone.


    Thendra turns back to me, anger melted into a cold focus. Eyes move up and down my naked upper body. Considering something...


    ¡°Get dressed.¡± Then she is off me, off the bed, moving toward the doorway. ¡°Then come with me.¡±


    ¡°Wha¡­ what?¡± I blubber, still trying to catch up with this sudden change.


    She barely pauses, looks back at me, then motions to one corner of the bed.


    I try to keep the quilts to my chest as I crawl over to the spot.


    Sitting there is a single very thin black underthing, and a blue shawl. I slip them on under the quilts and glance about for¡­ well more clothes. shorts or¡­ something. This shawl reveals all of my stomach and with one wrong turn anyone could get a great view of my breasts. And the underthing¡­ well¡­ it covers the basics, but not much else.


    ¡°Um¡­¡± I look up to her. ¡°Is there more?¡±


    I was used to sparse clothing, both before and after my exile. Fae clothing was all personal expression tempered by utility. But this¡­ just these¡­ I couldn¡¯t even begin to imagine what it could be¨C


    Thendra raises an eyebrow. A silent; Would you rather be naked again?


    I huff, ¡°No. Of course not.¡±


    And I slide out from the quilts and down onto the warm tiled floor. Thendra is already out the door and I nearly stumble trying to catch up with her long strides.


    We¡¯re moving down a long hallway. Walls of jade and more of that black brimstone tower on both sides.


    ¡°Where are we going?¡±


    She¡­ well her face is the most unreadable as I¡¯ve ever seen. Jade eyes focused and calculating.


    ¡°Do not speak unless directly asked something.¡± She commands, ¡°And even then, look to me before you reply.¡±


    Her eyes only dart to me for the second it takes me to nod.


    ¡°Will¨C¡±


    ¡°Start now.¡± She snaps.


    I almost trip, but manage to recover and catch back up to her. After descending down a set of stairs that hold an open window to the city beyond, we turn a corner and enter a¡­ Well, I think it¡¯s some kind of special big room.


    There are large fluffy chair things with little tables between them that seem to hold drinks and other small food trays. That¡­ makes me realize I have not eaten in like¡­ probably almost fifteen hours. I¡¯m about to forget Thendra¡¯s command and ask if I can have some when I notice that the rest of her women seem to be gathered here. But none of them are sitting. They are staring across the room at a second, smaller pair.


    Two women, both taller than me but not at Thendra¡¯s height stand waiting patiently before a set of large wooden doors. The smaller has pale green skin with warping and winding dark black tattoos curling all across her body that hurt my eyes to stare at too long, and her eyes are twin black orbs that seem to take in everything and nothing. She¡¯s wearing a gown of deep purple that pulls tightly against her while also having a slit to one side to allow a long thin leg to escape.


    The taller one stands just under Thendra¡¯s height. She has completely unblemished deep red skin and wears close fitting black chitin armor with a single thin blade holstered at one hip. Her eyes actually have pupils, and glistening blue iris that glow with¨C


    Her dark lips part into a grin with perfect white teeth as Thendra enters the room.


    Then I notice that they have no hair as two manes of¡­ well at first I think they are snakes as they curl up and around to observe Thendra¡¯s entrance. But each is tipped with one single eye that matches the pair on their women¡¯s faces.


    ¡°Thendra!¡± The tallest coos out, ¡°I heard words of your return and wanted to come congratulate you! Maybe share drinks and¨C¡±


    Thendra growls. ¡°Deliver your Matron''s message and leave.¡±

 Chapter 4: How Homes are Found

    The room goes still, and every woman here tightens with a threat of violence. Both newcomers'' eyestalks seem to twist, each focusing on a separate woman. I shuffle a step behind Thendra to try and block the ones that turn to me.


    ¡°Ah¡± The taller of the two huffs and pouts, ¡°I¡­ I assume it didn¡¯t go well then.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re¡­ We¡¯re so sorry,¡± The smaller one murmurs.


    Then¡­ Thendra surprises me with a loud sigh and release of breath. ¡°No. Apologies. Voe, Zitra. You come at an interesting crossroads. You¡¯re not the cause of our setback.¡±


    That returns the smile to the red one¡¯s face. Voe? ¡°You are forgiven. But seriously, come share drinks with us, or invite us to stay for a few. We¡­ we might be able to help or¡­¡±


    Thendra shakes her head, splays out one hand. ¡°You¡¯re too kind, but I¡¯d rather focus on recovering lost time.¡±


    ¡°Very understandable.¡± The smaller one nods. Zitra?


    Voe tilts her head. ¡°Surely you can spare an evening for¡­ No¡­ No, I''m being selfish. You''re right. Preparation is the key to your work.¡±


    Thendra nods. ¡°Thank you for understanding. The message, then?¡±


    A pause, false looks of confusion so obvious that even I can read them plain.


    ¡°Oh! No message!¡± Voe exclaims. ¡°I genuinely was just being selfish. Wanted to see if you¡¯d spare the time for us!¡±


    Zitra somehow conveys a roll of her eyes, despite their total blackness, ¡°I tried to stop her. Told her you¡¯d not enjoy her company till the job was done. Especially if¡­¡±


    She lets that trail off, and Voe winces. Then her face eyes settle on me, a head tilt of curiosity.


    I feel a¡­ some kind of weight settle over me. The room seems to grow quieter. Voe begins to open her mouth.


    ¡°A single drink.¡± Thendra purrs, and most of Voe¡¯s eyes snap back to her. ¡°Then I will drive you from our home.¡±


    A smile of pure glee consumes Voe¡¯s face. ¡°Really?¡±


    Thendra nods, proceeds over to one of the large¡­ couch things and it¡¯s nearby table. Takes up the jar and begins to pour a few drinks.


    Voe looks ready to burst with joy as she moves to sit on a nearby fluffy thing. Zitra follows, but is happy to remain standing and simply lean against the same piece of furniture as Voe.


    The rest of Thendra¡¯s women relax and begin to disperse. Heading off into other hallways and passages. The bow woman stays though, moves to lounge on a far couch.


    I stand awkwardly. Glance about. Look down to my feet. She told me to follow¡­ but¡­ they seem to be¡­ These are drinks between¡­ somethings. Friends?


    I feel another weight fall, glance up to see Zitra¡¯s face eyes settle on me. A weird silence seems to deepen. My chest tightens as I realize my magic is even more stifled than before. Weighted down and being slowly smothered under this strange woman¡¯s gaze.


    All my panic begins to return. The curse is one thing¡­ but to have my magic completely pulled from my reach? On reflex I begin to gather what Amwella I can, open my mouth to prepare a melody to beg the forest to hide me from¨C


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Thendra calls, lazy but sharp.


    That snaps me from it. Reminds me to drop the magic before the curse stings. Zitra¡¯s gaze turns to regard her as well, which ends the smothering weight.


    Thendra¡¯s not even looking at us, is only just now beginning to sit down with a drink. As she sits she simply motions to the space beside her on the fluffy chair. When the meaning is clear I jolt and scramble to her. Drop into the comfy softness at her side.


    ¡°Soooooo.¡± Voe drawls after a small sip, ¡°We don¡¯t need to talk of business or¡­ well¡­ any other unpleasantness. Last we had the chance to relax, you were telling me about the sacking of Jut-Kinta and the amazing morsels you wrested from some rival?¡±


    Thendra looks up, ¡°That was over a year ago.¡±


    ¡°Surprised I even remember that story?¡± She titters, ¡°It¡¯s one of my many talents. Being very good at remembering things about the people I¡¯m interested in!¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± Thendra contemplates that, then shakes her head. ¡°She¡¯s beyond our reach now.¡±


    A pause. It takes me a second to realize who she is.


    Undreka.


    ¡°Did you get the fuck who killed her at least?¡± Zitra offers, ¡°Because¡­ if not. We can¨C¡±


    Thendra lets out a low growl, looks down to her drink. ¡°No.¡±


    Neither speak. Voe takes a patient sip, then, ¡°Thendra¡­ you don¡¯t need to¨C¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s not dead.¡± Thendra sighs, says a few words in her own glorious and thrumming language, then looks to the two. ¡°Undreka is no longer one of us.¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°Forgive my¡­ misunderstanding.¡± Zitra shifts, ¡°But from what I understand that¡¯s¡­ not really something¡­¡± A huff, uncomfortable with her next words. ¡°Her strength belongs to you. How can you abandon that without¡­ um¡­¡±


    Thendra smiles, and it¡¯s a dark thing that sends chills down my spine. ¡°I was made an offer. And a trade was made.¡±


    The two look to each other, then back to Thendra. I feel Zitra¡¯s gaze flit over me.


    ¡°Oh¡­¡± Voe murmurs, ¡°That¡¯s¡­ why? How? Did Undreka catch the eye of some goddess or something? Convince her to pay you a great boon to break old vows?¡±


    Thendra chuckles, then pulls her tunic down to reveal her side of our curse mark. ¡°Have you ever seen one of these?¡±


    They both study it, all eyes turn to regard my mark on her. I can¡¯t help but look away.


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ well it¡¯s some kind of curse. I¡¯m sure Zitra here could¨C¡± Voe¡¯s brow furrows. ¡°Wait¡­ why isn¡¯t it withering a bit? We¡¯re staring right at the fucking thing!¡±


    She glances over at Zitra, then back to Thendra. ¡°Who¡¯s mark is that? How the fuck did Undreka convince some¨C¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve not a clue!¡± Thendra cuts her off with a rumbling chuckle that carries very little mirth. ¡°But by the time I understood it, I was given no other choice but to abandon our hunt and negotiate.¡±


    Voe pales. ¡°This¡­ how bad is it? I¡¯d need time but surely we could help you¨C¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s already nullified. I¡¯ll not feel its sting ever again.¡± Thendra placates her with a wave, ¡°And it all ended in my favor.¡±


    A patient pause, then when Thendra doesn¡¯t offer up the conclusion, Voe huffs.


    ¡°Well then? What did you get in return?¡± She presses, ¡°How did you get the better of someone who could lay such a¡­ a spiteful thing upon your soul?¡±


    I¡­ can¡¯t help but wince at that. It was all I had. I couldn¡¯t just offer up my death¡­ I had to be willing to suffer and offer my life.


    Thendra just places a hand upon my head in a silent reply.


    The weight of both their gazes is almost suffocating. I can feel a panic begin to rise again.


    ¡°A pillow slave?¡± Voe snorts, ¡°Really? Thendra? Really? You lose one of your best Reavers and get some little flame to gnaw at for a few days?¡±


    Thendra rumbles out a purr. Fingers gripping and twisting and knotting through my hair.


    ¡°They can¡¯t be okay with this!¡± Voe sighs. ¡°There isn¡¯t even enough of her to go around! That is unless she had some ungodly level of Amwella that you¡¯ve somehow bit off her in the past¡­ what¡­ ten hours?¡±


    I¡­ I can¡¯t help but try and bring my Amwella up, preparing a song of stealth as more of their little eyes turn to glare at me. I take in a deep gasping breath prepare to¨C


    Thendra grips and yanks my hair.


    She just barely saves me from the sting, but I can¡¯t help but let out a little whimper as my song falls away. Then she pulls me into her side. Not for comfort, but in restraint. A silent; don¡¯t make me stop you again.


    ¡°She can¡¯t even withstand our attentions.¡± Voe whines, ¡°What am I missing here Thendra? Please show me you¡¯ve not dashed one of your most valuable assets into the void on the eve of our Matron¡¯s big venture!¡±


    Thendra sighs, ¡°For beings of such¡­ observation¨C¡±


    Voe huffs, brooking a pause.


    ¡°You¡¯re very good at not seeing what sits before you.¡± She finishes, then adds. ¡°It¡¯s actually a welcome show of your limitations.¡±


    I fight to soothe all the wailing terror that I¡¯m trying to keep at bay. She¡¯s¡­ your hers now. Stop pretending you have any power or control or¨C


    A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    ¡°Then tell us!¡± Voe throws up her hands, and even a few eyestalks flutter out to mimic her exasperation. ¡°Enlighten our ignorant souls!¡±


    I can feel Thendra¡¯s grin. ¡°She¡¯s Fae.¡±


    That brooks a startled silence.


    ¡°Her Amwella is¡­ kinda small.¡± Zitra murmurs. ¡°Are you sure?¡±


    That hurts. If my mother had finished raising me. Taught me and given me a century of care and knowledge maybe I would have¨C


    ¡°No no¡­ I can see it now.¡± Voe Murmurs, ¡°You must be¡­ what? Less than a decade since you''re shaping, dearie?¡±


    It¡¯s hard to look at her, but even through the pain I remember my commands. They are the only thing holding me together right now. I turn to look up to Thendra.


    She meets my gaze, nods.


    ¡°Tw- Twelve years.¡± I whisper, trying to avoid meeting her eyes.


    Twelve years since my eighteenth nameday, and my mothers greatest gift.


    ¡°And already broken and submissive!¡± Voe praises Thendra, ¡°You always were so good with new captures. Although¡­ I must say it might have something to do with her original form. Did she tell you yet? What was it? Oh please share with us!¡±


    I bristle at the¡­ the truth of her words and don¡¯t even turn to Thendra to find out if I¡¯m allowed to speak. I won¡¯t answer that, won¡¯t give these two that piece of me. Although¡­


    ¡°Too embarrassed? I hear many Fae are by that piece of their past.¡± She giggles, ¡°I wonder if I could guess at it? Hm¡­¡±


    She guesses at a few, but none of them even come close to the truth. Thendra just chuckles, more and more mirth at how far off she is. I think I¡¯ve always been broken, haven¡¯t I? Thendra just happened to be there to pick up my pieces this time.


    ¡°O¡­kay.¡± Zitra asks, saving me from more prodding. ¡°So you ensnared a young Fae. How is she an equal to Undreka? If she was mature¡­ sure. But¡­ it¡¯s not likely you¡¯ll be able to keep her till then.¡±


    A pause, then Zitra¡¯s teeth clack together at a sudden realization.


    ¡°What?¡± Voe breaks from her focus.


    ¡°No¡­¡± Zitra¡¯s gaze breaks from me and bears down on Thendra, Voe¡¯s follows and I am given amazing relief. ¡°That¡¯s not¡­ She couldn¡¯t have¨C¡±


    I can¡¯t help but gasp and suck in a lungful, as if they¡¯d held me beneath a river for the past few moments.


    ¡°Have you come to understand?¡± Thendra purrs at her. Zitra¡¯s gaze doesn¡¯t seem to bother her in the slightest.


    ¡°Who¡­ exactly, laid this curse?¡± She asks carefully.


    Thendra smiles, ¡°Who do you think?¡±


    ¡°What does this matter?¡± Voe complains. ¡°I¡¯d still love to know what this little morsel started out as!¡±


    ¡°The two are linked.¡± Thendra muses. ¡°And this will be an excellent reply to your Matron.¡±


    A tense pause. Please don¡¯t¡­ Please don¡¯t tell them. I don¡¯t know if I can handle that. If I can handle their smothering gaze and joking laughter as they realize just how much of a mistake I am¡­


    ¡°We already told you, this isn¡¯t¡­¡± Voe fumbles, ¡°We¡¯re not here for her. We¡¯re here as friends! Allies! Wanted to¨C¡±


    Thendra growls then, low, heavy, and with a great degree of meaning I can only begin to process. I can¡¯t help but shudder.


    ¡°Okay okay.¡± Zitra raises both hands, palms out. ¡°We might have offered to check in. Didn¡¯t lie! She just¡­ you know how she gets! We wanted to keep the peace between¨C¡±


    ¡°Guess at one or the other.¡± Thendra purrs, all threat and relaxed pride. Fingers move back into my hair. I can¡¯t help but close my eyes and enjoy the touch.


    You''re hers. She¡¯s got you. She¡¯ll keep you safe. Just¡­ just stop thinking and let her handle this! It¡¯s fine. It¡¯s fine it¡¯s fine it¡¯s fine it¡¯s fine it¡¯s¨C


    ¡°Fine!¡± Voe huffs, ¡°Sorry. I just¡­ I don''t want this to go sour. Okay? Especially this close to things.¡±


    A predatory chuckle, ¡°Guess, before I finish my drink and keep my promise.¡±


    A sigh, ¡°Zitra you seem to have an idea of all this. Can you enlighten me?¡±


    ¡°I can only guess at the shape of things.¡± Zitra supplies, ¡°But¡­ Knowing what you lost and what you¡¯d need to recover¡­ Did this little Fae lay that curse?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Voe nearly shouts, ¡°Zitra! That¡¯s dumb. Especially for you! To lay a curse that dense, that untouchable to our eyes, she would need to have millennia of¨C.¡±


    Thendra¡¯s fingers move down to my neck, begin to squeeze and break down the tense muscles and sooth me.


    ¡°No. If you believe that you''re a failure to our Matron. I mean¡­ please! Look at her! She¡¯s obviously the dumb disappointment of some old Fae parent, given as a petty prize to our Thendra here to help her cope with failure.¡±


    The room goes quiet, Thendra¡¯s hand goes still. I can already feel the tears beginning to form as the final shards of my heart crack. She¡¯s right. Oh, Dreamer¡¯s Tits, she doesn¡¯t even know me and she can see exactly what I am.


    The silence stretches and stretches and stretches on. I shudder, pull my knees up to my chest and curl in on myself.


    ¡°I won¡¯t apologize.¡± Voe spits at some unspoken reply. ¡°You¡¯ve been had if you think this little¡­ thing! Could ever cast that curse. She¡¯ll never be worth a fraction of what Undreka was.¡±


    ¡°Voe¡­¡± Zitra warns.


    ¡°No!¡± Voe shouts. ¡°You could just tell us you got unlucky. That some Fae cunt got Undreka and laid a curse to keep her. It happens! You¡¯re not the scariest thing walking the rifts, Thendra! You were lucky to even get this thing. The singer who laid this curse could have set up something much meaner. There is no limit to them! I¡¯ve read old tomes about poor sots who got so many curses they had to drink¨C¡±


    ¡°A wager then.¡± Thendra hums. All amusement at Voe¡¯s outburst.


    That stops everything short, even I peek out to take in the view as I discreetly wipe at the budding tears.


    Voe is standing. Eyestalks writhing about at her agitation. Zitra is beside her, hands on her arms and trying to calm her.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°What are you willing to lose?¡± Thendra resumes the massage on my neck as Voe¡¯s glare shifts between us.


    She purses her lips.


    ¡°Let¡¯s keep this friendly?¡± Zitra presses, ¡°Don¡¯t gamble anything you can¡¯t¨C¡±


    ¡°Anything. You''re wrong. It¡¯s plain to see!¡±


    Zitra grips Voe¡¯s arm, hard. ¡°No. Look. Voe. Look at me!¡±


    Voe eventually shifts her glare to Zitra. ¡°What.¡±


    ¡°Temper yourself. Keep this friendly.¡± Zitra¡¯s voice is level, but harsh. Dark eyes bore into the taller woman. ¡°Thendra, what part of the Fae-wood did you say you found her in?¡±


    Thendra takes a long drink from her mug, whispers. ¡°Offer a wager, or guess at her old form.¡±


    Voe yanks her arm free, ¡°I offer access to our Matron¡¯s library. Unrestricted. All parts. For one year.¡±


    Thendra grins, Zitra balks. ¡°You can¡¯t¨C¡±


    Voe only spares her a few glaring eyestalks, ¡°I won¡¯t need to. But if this little thing can lay curses that don¡¯t recoil under our gaze¡­ then our Matron would offer nearly any boon to have her.¡±


    I wither at that. At the idea of¡­ being sold. Being passed between¨C


    ¡°And what would you expect from me? To match such a great wager? I can only offer paltry fortunes and future services.¡±


    ¡°Service then, once the venture with our Matron is done. Ten years.¡±


    Thendra just laughs. ¡°Is your library so sparse? Make it twenty.¡±


    Voe jolts at that, the first sign of the worry that she might be wrong landing in her mind. But she only grins, pushes the bet. ¡°I¡¯ll give you two years¡­ but¡­ to keep me interested¡­¡±


    Her eyes lock on me again, and the weight is so much worse now. ¡°If I¡¯m right, or if your proof is lacking. I''ll get her.¡±


    Thendra doesn¡¯t laugh at that, just tilts a head curiously, ¡°Why? She would be proven a broken offering.¡±


    Voe grins with such malice, ¡°Even so small I know many in our Matron¡¯s brothels who would pay handsomely for a Fae pillow slave. Might even enjoy that myself. The last bites of her little Amwella would be a delicacy. ¡±


    I jolt at that, twist around to Thendra. ¡°Please, This isn¡¯t our¨C¡±


    ¡°Done.¡± She growls, dark and annoyed, causing me to choke on my plea.


    ¡°Done.¡± Voe hisses back, then turns to Zitra. ¡°Will you witness this for us? On the honor of our Matron?¡±


    Zitra places her head in a hand. ¡°Sure. Whatever!¡± Then turns to Thendra. ¡°I witnessed this wager. Show us your proof.¡±


    Thendra purrs, then pulls me up into her lap like I weigh nothing. Lifts my shawl, bearing my entire chest to the room. I blush hard and can¡¯t help but squirm, but know better than to even try to stop her.


    She doesn¡¯t speak, just lets the two women focus on the curse mark carved into my collarbone.


    ¡°What am I supposed to see here?¡± Voe huffs, annoyed. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ this is just like yours, correct? Why would she curse herself to never go near Undreka?¡±


    Thendra well¡­ she doesn¡¯t shake me, but I am jostled from my embarrassed horror by a light bump. ¡°Tell them why.¡±


    I sputter and hug myself and try to cover my breasts. ¡°Anchoring it to myself made it¡­ well not stronger but¡­ more effective. Harder to ignore and shake off.¡±


    ¡°I can see that, the curse did start here. But¡­¡± Zitra¡¯s eyes move to my face, ¡°Why? Why would you¨C¡±


    I don¡¯t meet her gaze, don¡¯t even try to ask Thendra if I¡¯m to answer that.


    ¡°Tell them what would happen if I killed you.¡±


    I¡¯m grateful for the change of question, ¡°She¡¯ll get my half as well. Double the Amwella drain if she violates the Lament.¡±


    Thendra purrs, ¡°Is this enough?¡±


    ¡°No!¡± Voe spits, ¡°Not even close. She could still just be exactly what I said she is. A powerful enough Fae could weave it on you both. A joint curse.¡±


    ¡°Not likely, but¡­ technically? Sure.¡± Zitra looks back to Thendra as she lets my shawl fall back into place. ¡°Only other proof I can think of is to have her place a new curse.¡±


    Thendra saves me from even having to contemplate how we¡¯d work that out. ¡°If my next proof doesn¡¯t settle this I will have her curse someone for you.¡±


    Then she is twisting me, and I can¡¯t help but gasp in sudden horror as I realize what she is showing them. The underthing she gave me barely covers half the mark, so luckily all she has to do is pull a strap to the side a little.


    Brumbleflesh and heat roll down me in embarrassment and shame as Thendra bares my backside and worst shame to these two.


    ¡°Wait¡­ a second one? On herself?¡± Voe stammers, ¡°Fuck, Zitra you know these things are fucking complex to read. Can you please just translate what it does for me?¡±


    Zitra doesn¡¯t, not at first, she just¡­ stares. Takes it all in.


    Under the two weights of these women, and the shame of being displayed like some human marketplace pig for sale. My restraint finally breaks, and I plunge my will down to grasp at my Amwella. I dredge it up, brace for the pain I know could very well kill me, and try to weave it into a song. I don¡¯t even know what it will do. I just¡­ I want¡­ I want them to stop!


    But I underestimate my own work, and how dangerously effective the curse is at stopping me.


    It bites down on me like a snake clamping on a mouse¡¯s neck. And my magic tumbles into oblivion. I fight through it, try to fumble at the melodies, turn my gasping sobs and pained cries into notes. But¡­ nothing works, so I go deeper, dive into the pool of energy that I know will drain away very quickly from the curse if I¨C


    Next thing I know I¡¯m being shaken, violently.


    My eyes roll about, trying to remember¡­ trying to understand where I am and why I¡¯m in so much pain and who is¡ª


    One hand grips my hair, while the other envelopes my entire lower jaw and part of my neck, clamping my mouth shut. I¡¯m sort of straddling someone¡¯s lap, hanging before her. Little twitches and spasms wrack my body.


    ¡°LYRA!¡± Thendra snarls, barely an inch from my face.


    My eyes snap to her, Jade encompasses everything.


    ¡°STOP!¡±


    I realize I''m still grasping at my Amwella, still trying to shove beautiful sorrow out into the world. That my curse¡¯s stinger is buried almost as deep as it will go into my core.


    I sputter out a sob around her hand and release the song.


    My arms flop to my sides, and everything goes limp as my Amwella falls away and the stinger slides free.


    A pause, hot anger rolls out of Thendra in another snarling growl.


    I¡­ I can¡¯t really talk. Although I¡¯m pretty sure I can feel gummy blood ooze from one or both of my eyes.


    I feel her grip tighten, and a little voice inside thinks this is where she will kill me. Am glad that I at least tried to sing one last song before¨C


    Then she drops me, just¡­ lets me fall against her.


    Deep steady breaths are everything I know for a few moments as I slide limply down her warm chest in a boneless slump. She doesn¡¯t touch me though, doesn¡¯t hold me. Keeps both arms at her sides, tense with fury.


    ¡°Is that enough?¡± Thendra finally growls out.


    Voe answers. ¡°Maton¡¯s gaze¡­ Thendra, she¨C¡±


    Zitra interrupts her, ¡°The¡­ the word of the thing proves it. She laid this curse.¡±


    ¡°Obviously.¡± Voe hisses. ¡°I was wrong, on both counts. If we weren¡¯t here she would have¨C¡±


    Thendra interrupts with a light thrumming growl.


    A long pause.


    ¡°The Matron is going to have an absolute shit about her.¡± Zitra finally spits out.


    That gets a chuckle from Thendra. Angry and low.


    ¡°This¡­ fuck this is the opposite problem I expected her to have with you today!¡± Zitra hisses. ¡°I expected your strength to be hobbled! For her to be reconsidering your place in our venture.¡±


    Voe huffs, ¡°Yeah¡­ You know what has to happen now, right? You¡­ you can¡¯t keep that. You have to sell her to¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Thendra purrs.


    A surprised pause. They both try to speak at once. Voe wins out.


    ¡°No? No?!?! Are you fucking kidding me?!?!¡± She spits. ¡°You bring this back as a replacement to Undreka and don¡¯t expect the Matron to¨C¡±


    ¡°She is mine.¡±


    Her words add warmth to my core. I choke out a cough, shiver and twitch at the latent pain and gathering cold.


    ¡°Look. If this is a ploy to get a good price don¡¯t worry about it. I¡¯ll make sure she offers¨C¡±


    ¡°Zitra, you say you saw the word of the curse.¡± Thendra cuts her off, ¡°Tell Voe then, who can command Lyra to weave Fae song?¡±


    I can hear Zitra grinding her teeth. ¡°Just you. Only your command can let her sing without the curse¡¯s bite. But we all saw her endure that fucking pain to do it anyway. Saw what she started to do with so little Amwella.¡±


    Thendra shrugs, careful not to shift me. ¡°Your Matron can either break her vows, make war on me and mine for her. Or¡­ she can wait until our partnership is over to make a move.¡±


    ¡°Or you can avoid all of that and¨C¡± Voe starts.


    ¡°She. Is. Mine.¡± Thendra cuts her off with a very quiet purr, emphasizing every word. I can''t help but feel more of me relax at the proclamation.


    ¡°So was Undreka! And you traded¨C¡±


    ¡°If I had stubbornly pursued that path it would have destroyed us as certainly as fire envelopes parchment. I would have loved to drag Undreka¡¯s body back here, cut her open, and ravage every last drop of her Amwella.¡± Thendra snarls, ¡°But this little Fae made sure that wasn¡¯t an option.¡±


    I would have shuddered if my muscles weren¡¯t so weak, and would have sobbed at the mental images. But there is only enough left of me to breathe and sag into her warmth.


    Zitra sighs, ¡°Isn¡¯t this the same? You tease at war with our Matron. With us, Thendra.¡±


    I¡­ I don¡¯t remember deciding to focus on her Amwella. To alter my perception in the way one needs to see another''s flame. Hadn¡¯t even tried since our first meeting in the forest. Especially after I laid my curses. Was too worried it would trigger them.


    But now I do it without thinking, and my curse remains still. So I bask in the warmth of Thendra¡¯s aura. She doesn¡¯t seem to notice as the tendrils of her own glorious blooming fire curl around mine.


    Thendra shrugs, ¡°Many great powers tease at war with each other in these cities.¡±


    ¡°Fuck. Thendra¡­ you can¡¯t be serious! You can¡¯t¨C¡±


    She cuts off, something in Thendra¡¯s expression ends her rebuke.


    ¡°Carry this message back to your Matron alongside all you have seen today.¡± Thendra purrs, ¡°Tell her that I would love to keep her as an ally for the foreseeable future. That I value her patronage and hope to continue operating as friends and equals in our beloved city and beyond.¡±


    ¡°And¡­ and if she doesn¡¯t like that?¡± Voe pleads, ¡°If she insists you sell her your new Fae pillow slave?¡±


    I can feel the dangerous grin echo through Thendra¡¯s Amwella. ¡°Then remind her of how I got this home. Of the old things me and mine broke here.¡±

 Chapter 5: Well timed Stupidity

    Voe and Zitra are gone now, and Thendra and I have barely moved. I¡­ I think the other women of the group are here now. I catch little whispers of their language, hushed conversations.


    I eventually try to carefully pull my arms up under my chest, hoping and praying Thendra won¡¯t care. Won¡¯t take this as an signal to¨C


    She sucks in a deep angry breath.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± She growls. The room goes quiet and very very still.


    I don¡¯t respond, just squeeze my eyes shut and huddle in on myself against her chest.


    ¡°Sit up.¡± She demands.


    I obey, hug myself and look down at my hands. I¡¯m still sitting in her lap, straddling her legs.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I¨C¡±


    ¡°Look at me.¡± She snarls.


    I flinch, take a deep breath, and meet her gaze.


    Jade eyes gore into my soul. She¡¯s so angry. More angry than I¡¯ve ever seen her. Is this where I die?


    The words from before freeze my blood. The threat of how she was going to drag Undreka back here and¨C


    ¡°Tell me.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Tell me why I am angry.¡±


    Oh.


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ because I¡­ I tried to sing.¡± I begin to look away. ¡°Tried to¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡± A hand snakes around my head, grips my hair and pulls. I whimper at the sudden pain and the cold jolt of fear that muddles my thoughts. ¡°Why. Am. I. So. Angry!?!¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± My voice trembles, ¡°I¡­ I almost killed myself? Almost robbed you of¨C¡±


    Another hand snaps up, grips my jaw. I grapple at her wrists, try to relieve some of the weight as she lifts me up and shoves her face into mine.


    ¡°No, Lyra.¡± She snaps. ¡°I¡¯m not angry at your Fae songs, I¡¯m not angry because you court death and pain and misery in your very soul. I expect those things, I bargained for those things!¡±


    Then she is shouting. Roaring into my face with barely any control. ¡°I am angry, because you did not ASK ME FIRST!¡±


    Everything goes very still as she shudders with¡­ Oh. That¡¯s what fear looks like on her.


    ¡°Was I not clear!?! I¡¯ll let you carve your soul into a song. Even encourage it. But it will be mine.¡± She shouts. ¡°If you are to sing, it will be at my command!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I blubber, ¡°You¨C You told me not to speak. And I¨C¡±


    ¡°Lyra.¡± She snaps, but then releases my face. I can still see the urge to grab and shake me silly roll through her fingers. ¡°I will always prefer you to speak out of turn and beg for release, than to crack and suffer that curse''s sting.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± I sag.


    An angry sigh from her rocks us both. ¡°This was why I wanted your magic bound. I need to protect you from yourself.¡± She takes a deep steadying breath, looks around the room. ¡°You are so young and very stupid.¡±


    That gets a few purring chuckles, I notice some nods and annoyed looks.


    I look down, and atop the fear and shame I feel myself blush with embarrassment. So I try to focus on stilling my racing heart.


    ¡°But¡­ Your stupidity was well timed. The Matron¡¯s opinions of us have shifted. We¡¯ve gone from a wounded animal to a threatening rival.¡±


    I glance up, see a predatory grin cross her face. ¡°We¡¯ve also won access to her library. So long as she doesn¡¯t choose war over her ambitious venture.¡±


    Bow woman speaks, lilting and beautiful words I can¡¯t¨C


    ¡°We¡¯ll need to speak in this tongue around Lyra, At least until I can see if her mind can fit another language into it.¡±


    The bow woman sighs, but relents. ¡°The Matron won¡¯t choose war. Although she will spread word of a little Fae woman in this city she would love to possess¡­ alive or otherwise.¡±


    Thendra nods.


    ¡°She¡­ her songs and curses may be strong. But they are bound to you. She is as my bow is, Useless without the correct arrows, and her mistress.¡±


    ¡°What role will she play in our part during the Matron¡¯s venture?¡± Another asks.


    Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    ¡°That.¡± Thendra nods to her, ¡°Is something we¡¯ll still need to discover. At worst¡­ she is baggage on my shoulder. Good for foes we may wish to threaten instead of kill.¡±


    ¡°How much time do you take out of our preparations for her?¡±


    Thendra shrugs. ¡°However much I can. There is a chance Lyra here might make our part trivial. We¡¯ll adjust as we learn more about her current limits.¡±


    ¡°Her Amwella is still very small, barely a flicker.¡± Bow woman adds, ¡°Can it be grown?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve heard of Fae with Amwella stores double my size,¡± Thendra muses, ¡°If we can learn how they did this¡­ then it will become a priority.¡±


    There is¡­ a weird low hum that runs through the group. I can¡¯t help but curl in on myself as I sense more eyes drink me in. I feel so exposed in these clothes, with my legs spread as I¡¯m stuck straddling a woman so much bigger than myself.


    ¡°Understand. Lyra is¡­¡± Thendra murmurs, then forces my gaze to meet hers with a couple fingers around my chin. ¡°You are not one of the thirteen. You belong to us. Your body and songs are payment for what you stole. And your Amwella, if we can grow it.¡±


    I shudder, but don¡¯t look away, don¡¯t shy from my bargain.


    ¡°And I still need you broken, little Fae.¡± She growls, ¡°I was foolish to think you¡¯d be molded so early on. So easily.¡±


    She releases my chin, and turns to the rest. ¡°I will break her will, teach her to obey my words as if they are her own thoughts. No more outbursts, no more mistakes.¡±


    A patient silence stretches for a few moments.


    Thendra breaks it by shifting us both to stand. She grips one wrist until my wobbly legs settle into¨C


    A growl rumbles through the large room. I freeze, and then look down in realization that it came from me. From the empty void that is my aching stomach.


    I can¡¯t help but blush as Thendra lets out a purring laugh, then mumbles something in her own tongue. Genuine relief seems to settle over her, and a wash of calm follows out to the entire room. The other women begin to rise and disperse.


    ¡°Come, little Fae. Let us tend to your hungers.¡± She murmurs.


    She leads me off into a side room that¡­ well. I¡¯m instantly struck by how big and filled with food it is! A huge table stretches through its middle, with shelves and cupboards lining the walls, and all of it is¨C


    Thendra releases my wrist, nudges me to take a few hesitant steps toward what is an absolutely decadent amount of food. But then I look closer and catch a whiff of things¡­ and barely stifle a choking gag.


    Most of it is¡­ cooked flesh. At least all the biggest platters and sets.


    I haven¡¯t seen or smelled its disgusting aura since¡­ well since before my Fae mother found me in the forest. Human¡¯s taught me meat was good, but then¡­ then I was taught how to listen to the songs of the animals they slaughter. And wept on and off for a few weeks over the flesh I had consumed.


    I steady myself by grabbing the corner of the thick wooden table, covering my mouth and nose.


    ¡°Lyra?¡±


    I turn and try to leave the room, Thendra catches my arm as I stumble at the doorway.


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t¨C¡± I gag, dry vomit shaking my chest. ¡°Can¡¯t¡­ No. Won¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Won¡¯t what?¡± She pulls me to face her, which faces me toward the room and the smells.


    ¡°I won¡¯t eat flesh.¡± I try to hiss. But it comes out as a croak.


    She doesn¡¯t jerk back at my sudden anger, just stares down at me. Considers my words.


    I try to jerk my wrist free, fail, so settle for turning away from the table of slaughter.


    This isn¡¯t a line, this is a wall. She can shout and rage and even hurt me. I¡¯ll die before I cross this¨C


    ¡°The enchantments of this room offer other things. What can you consume? Little Fae?¡± She whispers, careful. Adjusts her grip on me.


    All soft and steady, Like how my mother first spoke to me when she found me naked and feral amidst the underbrush. Except¡­ Well her Purr makes it even better. Settles the panic and stirs¡­ other things.


    ¡°Berries and fruits, nuts, and vegetables.¡± I stammer. ¡°Nothing that had blood or could¡­¡±


    ¡°Bread?¡±


    I nod.


    ¡°Eggs? Cooked or otherwise?¡±


    I shake my head.


    She sighs, and for a moment a spike of guilt burrows into my heart. Embarrassment at my sudden anger and¨C


    ¡°Wait here.¡± And then she releases me, which almost causes me to tumble. But I hold my balance.


    Barely a minute, and she returns. A large wooden tray piled with color and glorious food. I spot a loaf of bread and a mug of some steaming liquid.


    Then she takes my wrist again and leads me back up to her room. Once there she settles me at a¡­ well it¡¯s not really a small table to me. But it would only seat three or four of her. Getting atop the stool to sit is more of a climb, but once there I prop myself on my knees as the tray is slid before me.


    A pause, then I can¡¯t help but bury all my anxiety, terror, and everything else away as I begin to devour the meal. It¡¯s¡­ somehow everything is perfect. The fruits and vegetables taste and feel freshly picked, and the bread''s warmth makes me wonder if it just came from the baking flame. And the liquid in the large mug is¡­ amazing. A strange sweet and spiced cider that warms my belly and settles my mind.


    As the haze of post-ravenous hunger drifts away, I can¡¯t help but look up to see Thendra just¡­ staring. Jade eyes seem to be trying to¡­ work something out. Drinking me in and sampling the flavor¡­ isn¡¯t sure what to make of me.


    I shudder, shift my legs so that my knees press against my chest, then wrap my fingers about the still warm mug. I stare down into the swirling reddish liquid.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I whisper.


    A few moments pass, I risk a glance up to try and understand her.


    A single eyebrow is raised. A question. For what?


    I huff out a sigh, looking back to my drink.


    ¡°Are you finished?¡± She purrs.


    I look back to her, she motions toward the still half-full mug.


    I take one last gulp, and nod.


    ¡°Then undress.¡±


    That jerks me from the calm. ¡°Wha¡­.¡±


    She just¡­ doesn¡¯t move. Her eyes seem to be filling with a slow intensity that¨C


    I nearly fall off my chair to obey. A reflex at the memory of her anger, at her words. I only notice a hand hovering under my elbow after the shawl is already up and off and the underthing is half-way down my legs. I feel my blush as her eyes trail up and down my naked form. Brumbleflesh at the intensity of her attention.


    ¡°Come.¡± She stands and walks toward the doorway leading into the bathroom.


    I stumble as I finish sliding off the last semblance of covering and follow. Clutching the sparse clothing to my chest.


    Inside the bathroom she is kneeling beside the large floor bath and¡­ well¡­ it¡¯s beginning to fill with water from some kind metal spout that glows with little blue symbols.


    ¡°Warm or cold?¡± She turns to me.


    ¡°Um¡­ what?¡±


    ¡°Would you prefer the water warm or cold?¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ I¨C¡± I¡¯d normally just¡­ bathe in the cold river. Or sing a big tree into dumping all its leaf water down onto me at once. I totally could have dug a hole or hollowed out a trunk and filled it with water. But¡­ that would have stirred old memories. Sweet and painful and¡­ Well, I hadn¡¯t had an actual bath since¨C


    ¡°Warm please.¡± I nearly squeak.


    She nods and brushes fingers over the glowing symbols. Steam begins to rise from the water as it fills the very large bath. Then she turns to me, tilts a head toward the water. I lay my clothes beside the rim and slide in. And¡­ I can''t help but melt a little as I lower myself into the pool of warmth. I squeeze my eyes shut and just¡­ let myself drift for a second. Let the heat seep into my muscles and bones. Thankfully no thoughts pierce my little paradise. Even with my Fae mother, a warm bath was a rare thing. Taking either slow coaxing of song to warm the waters, or the boiling of it in a basin that then needed to be carefully handled and poured in.


    I¡¯m startled from my thoughts as Thendra presents me with soap and some kind of scrubber thing. I accept them and begin to wash myself.


    Otherwise she just¡­ sits on the floor beside the bath. Carefully considering me. Jade eyes glowing as she watches me with such¡­ something.


    I suck in a deep breath as I move to dunk myself beneath the warm waters to begin the task of washing my hair. I hate it getting tangled, but don¡¯t mind all the little treasures it tends to gather. My dark Fae hair is perfect, I know this, because I grew it myself after forcing my body to shed all my old gross human hair. It always shines, never tears from wear or age, and never grows unless I sing at it.


    It doesn¡¯t even need the soap. Just¡­ the water feels amazing and will help me work out any knots or kinks.


    I expect Thendra to reach for me after a few minutes, worried I am drowning myself. But she doesn¡¯t. And I¡¯m content to sit at the bottom of this deep tub while I run fingers through my mane of silken hair.


    But¡­ eventually the formless nothings of my mind begin to shape into old memories and nightmares. So I push myself to break the surface.


    She waits, legs crossed and book in her hands. Eyes only flit up to me as I blow bubbles into the water. Caught between wanting to stay and¨C


    ¡°Ly¨C¡± She cuts herself off, but I can¡¯t miss the shadow of anger.

 Chapter 6: Gifts and Scars

    Content Warning:


    Torture. It''s soul torture, but... it''s really bad and manipulative.


    Contemplation of suicide at said torture.


    I twitch.


    She studies me for a moment. Sets the book to the side. ¡°Were you wanting to sing?¡±


    Oh. she thought I was¡­


    I take a deep breath, slow my heart and rise enough to speak. ¡°Always. But¡­ not just then. I¡¯m sorry. I wasn¡¯t¡­ I was just¡­ making noises. No magic.¡±


    I should know better. Especially after what happened before. She¡­ she¡¯s still so mad about that.


    A nod, then she turns back to her book. ¡°Sing then. Sing until I close this book.¡±


    And I do. A lilting hymn of light tittering notes. I weave my love of this warm bath and watch with joy as the water wiggles at hearing its praise. Then my eyes wander up to her, and I accidentally trickle my wander and confusion and anticipation about her.


    The sounds of my song aren''t made up of words, although I may slip some in at times, but she does shift and perk up at some subtle understanding. Even if her waking mind can¡¯t process it.


    Her eyes jerk to me, and her book slams shut.


    I move to end the melody, but feel the needle shutter and prepare to sting. My eyes go wide with terror. That command isn¡¯t enough. I can¡¯t stop without the curse hurting me.


    She tilts her head at my expression, then. ¡°Stop.¡±


    I choke and sag, barely able to time the end so that the sting didn¡¯t happen.


    ¡°Hm¡­¡± She muses.


    I shutter, terrified of more of her anger. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I couldn¡¯t¡­ the Lament wasn¡¯t¨C¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± She murmurs. ¡°I was testing its limits.¡±


    I jerk my head up. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I need to understand it better.¡± No anger, all calm observation.


    I let out a huff, my annoyance given courage by the terror. ¡°You could just¡­ like¡­ ask me.¡±


    ¡°Can it be explained so easily?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¨C¡± I work to control my tone. ¡°I bound the word of it in my first language.¡±


    She raises an eyebrow. ¡°A human tongue?¡±


    ¡°Yes!¡± I shout, glad my blush of embarrassment is hidden by the rose-tint the warm waters have given me. ¡°It¡¯s not as good as If I had done it in one of the Fae tongues. There would be¡­ more subtly to it. More flexibility.¡±


    ¡°Then why¡­¡± She starts, then stops her question as she must guess the answer to it.


    Because I was never taught enough of even one of the Fae languages.


    ¡°Okay then.¡± She demands instead. ¡°Tell me the word of your curse.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll still need to sing it.¡± I mutter.


    A bark of laughter, ¡°Fine then. Sing to me the word of this curse, nothing else.¡±


    I obey, and¡­ it hurts. It¡¯s like driving a nail into a fresh wound, or reliving a bad memory.


    ¡°I will only sing when commanded by Thendra.


    I will always sing when commanded by Thendra.


    I will only stop singing when commanded by Thendra.¡±


    The sting begins to pierce me as I try to stop, so I repeat myself. But¡­ when I look to her for a command, she just stares past me. Contemplates my Lament as I repeat the heart of it over and over and over.


    I can take breaths between verses, so I know I won¡¯t suffocate. But my throat begins to burn as the Amwella drain, physical burden, and emotional toll begin to grow. I move to the side of the bath and lean against the cold tiles. I consider weaving a plea to her into it, but the curse brushes against me, and I know it would sting just as bad as if I had stopped to ask her.


    I reach out to her, touch her knee with wet fingers. Hoping that will be enough to show her I¡¯m¨C


    She looks down, meets my gaze, and I know then that this is my punishment. This is her showing me that my songs are her¡¯s now, and that I will only get to enjoy them so long as she wills it. That if I don¡¯t obey her she will make the few songs I¡¯m allowed to sing turn to ash in my mouth. Become litany¡¯s of agony I come to dread.


    This is how she will start breaking me.


    I¡­ I have no choice but to keep singing, so I do. I look away, squeeze my eyes shut, and keep repeating the details of the chain that binds me to her.


    What must an hour passes. Eventually my voice is barely a whisper, a husky cracking thing that can barely pronounce the words. And then¡­ to my horror¡­ the curse doesn¡¯t seem to care as my song becomes nothing more than basic sounds. My words become a slurring mess of pure pain and agony as I slump against the bath¡¯s edge, not even language anymore. Just the guttural attempts at reflecting its nature.


    Still, Thendra doesn¡¯t command me to stop.


    I cannot sob, but tears still gush from my eyes at the pain. At some point blood is coating my tongue, making it even harder to force out the song. I begin to shake in the long cooled water.


    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    The last time I¡¯d channeled Amwella this long was during my change, and that was with my Fae mother. There¡¯d been plenty of water and soothing songs to help guide my will. We took long breaks to let me recharge and contemplate. The only rush was from my own eagerness to have my true body. It was more painful at times than this could ever be, but I endured it because it was what I wanted.


    But this¡­ this is just pain. A constant limbo of my worst song forced through my soul. A cold calculated warning. Torture to send me a message.


    Looking back up to her I try to convey everything through my eyes. Please. Please make me stop. Please! I¡¯m sorry. I won¡¯t do it again. I¡¯m yours now, I understand that! Please tell me to stop. Please please please please please¨C


    She doesn¡¯t even shift, her hard Jade eyes just... bore into my soul. And still she doesn¡¯t command me to stop.


    It¡¯s not even a song now. Just a single wheeze of pain separated by shuddering breaths as I drool blood at her feet. Darkness gathers at the edge of my vision. Soon I¡¯ll pass out, and the curse will sting me and drain the last of my Amwella.


    I twist my eyes to meet her one last time. This is going to kill me. Is¡­ is this what you want?


    And still, she doesn¡¯t command me to stop.


    In those final moments, as the cold darkness closes around me, I squeeze my eyes shut and bring up a memory of my Fae Mother¡¯s face. Her smile, her laugh, her joy at seeing my new form¡­ and I let go of the song. I hope you know that I¡¯ll love you always, and that the little time we had was¨C


    Nothingness.


    The Dead Dreamer holds me in her rotting void, empty of all pain and hopes and desires and¨C


    Pain, that¡¯s what rips me from that split second of sweet oblivion.


    The curse''s sting holds me from it, paralyzes me as I slump against the bath¡¯s edge. But all the energy to sing is spent, and even in a desperate animal way I cannot push myself beyond that limit.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Thendra purrs.


    My eyes roll open, a blossom of hope.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t tell you to stop singing.¡±


    I can¡¯t even sob or cry out, only twitch and spasm and writhe at my master¡¯s feet.


    As I begin to slide down into the water she reaches down, grips my silken hair, and drags me up and onto the tiles at her feet. Any other time that would have made me scream and yelp in pain, but compared to this¡­ Well¡­ it does more to show me how little she cares for my comfort, and more how any part of me was as good as another for making sure this lesson continued how she wants it to.


    So I just¡­ lay there. Curl in on myself as my shaking gets worse. I feel like I am coming apart. Become aware of the seams sewn into my body, begin to feel myself unravel. Like a doll caught by a particularly angry animal.


    In those moments I¡¯m tempted to spite Thendra. To try and spit out a song that will end my life, and steal her prize. I made this body, and I know what threads to pull to unmake it. But¡­ I can¡¯t gather enough¡­ can¡¯t push through this¨C


    ¡°Stop.¡±


    I gasp out a sudden heaving sob as the curse pops free, and the sudden absence of pain is a wonderful euphoria.


    She waits. Lets my ragged breath steady, and my body move from spasms into steady shivers. Ensures my mind has recovered.


    ¡°Sit up.¡± She purrs.


    It¡¯s hard, but I don¡¯t hesitate. I rise and kneel between her and the silent waters of the bath.


    Deep breath, then I meet her gaze.


    There is nothing kind or gentle in that stare. Just¡­ cold regard.


    ¡°Ask.¡±


    I take a shuddering breath, understanding and dreading her demand.


    ¡°May I Sing?¡±


    She gives me a slow nod. I open my mouth. But the curse moves to hurt me. I hesitate.


    ¡°Sing.¡± She commands.


    And I obey. It hurts, but this time I weave a song of healing and peace. Wrap it around me like a cloak. Encourage little unnamable parts of my Fae form to calmly and carefully begin repairing any damage found. Warmth begins to fight off the deep cold ache.


    ¡°Stop.¡±


    I obey and she purrs approval. My heart glows with relief and tries to cherish the wordless praise. Tries to use it as I would use cool water on burned flesh.


    I hate her for that. More than anything, I hate how much I want her to¡­ to want me. How much I feel myself longing for her to look at me with hunger and lust with those gorgeous jade eyes. How much I want to please her.


    I¡¯m not very hard to read, and I have to look away to avoid openly glaring up at her.


    Silence. Cold fear begins to creep down my spine. Did¡­ Did I make her angry again? Oh Dreamer please NO. Please don¡¯t let her do that again. I can¡¯t take any more of that.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I sputter out.


    ¡°Hm¡­ Then Sing your sorrows for me.¡±


    It¡¯s almost a reflex now. Like I¡¯m holding my breath and waiting for permission to breathe. I open my mouth and pour all my fear and anxiety into the tune. It takes so little Amwella, just little sparks off the side. I weave¡­ well I¡¯m not sure how much she can understand. My mother told me that weaving lies into our songs would invite pain, so I try my hardest to¨C


    All my desires for her make it simple to feel horrible about this, to make my understanding that she is the monster who just tortured me seem¡­ wrong. Try to force me to accept that I deserve this. That this pain will help me. I feel myself twist and break around this. Feel my own thoughts warping to adapt to this new reality. Fight to keep my thoughts enraged at her!


    I grit my teeth, and my song cracks under the weight of my warring hatred for her actions and my desires for her affections.


    ¡°Stop.¡±


    I gasp, choke, then fall into silence. My eyes drift up to hers, and I feel myself wither under a predatory smile.


    ¡°You are forgiven, My Lyra.¡±


    I can¡¯t suppress a jerking flinch at her words. At how it causes a peace to roll down me like a fresh summer rain, while also setting my teeth on edge at the fresh memory of the torture she just inflicted.


    ¡°Get dressed. Then come with me.¡±


    She takes up her book and leaves me alone.


    I rise with only a few wobbles, and do as she tells me.


    When I re-enter the main bedroom she is just pulling a tome down from her highest shelf. An old thing, with a thick wooden cover and multiple torn pages peeking out. Then she turns and approaches, holding it out to me.


    ¡°Can you read this?¡±


    I pause, a whiplash of fearing torture to¡­ this¡­ to reading?


    I take the tome. It¡¯s so big. I can barely crack it open while also holding it.


    Inside are¡­ I flip through a few pages, silently sounding out the words.


    Legs go weak, vision blurry with tears. I struggle to wipe my eyes before they can fall and stain the pages of this treasure. It''s written in my first language, or something kin to it, but it also works to translate another language alongside every entry. Gives someone a reference to begin speaking this other tongue.


    Fae-song, or at least a broken record of some human¡¯s time among them, dances across the page before me. Something my mother never got to finish teaching me! The purest of all Fae languages. It¡¯s the best for weaving song magic.


    I jerk my head up. ¡°Where did you get this?¡±


    A shrug. ¡°Plunder, or traded, I do not recall. It seems some human artist was welcome to walk with the Fae for a time. Recorded their work and attempts to learn some of their languages. Can you read it?¡±


    I nod furiously. ¡°It¡¯s not true Fae-song. Just¡­ things written to convey their sounds with human letters.¡±


    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± She muses ¡°Then it is yours.¡±


    I have to close the huge thing and cradle it to my nearly bare chest to avoid letting tears stain its pages. Can¡¯t even stop a few hiccups from jerking from my throat as I look up to her.


    ¡°I¡­¡± The war inside me tilts more in her favor. ¡°Why?¡±


    She considers that question for a while.


    ¡°I¡¯d like you to be productive between the times where I can test your limits.¡± She turns her back to me, goes back to her desk of books and work. ¡°You can take up any space within this room to read. If you need parchment or ink for your own notes, simply ask.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­¡± I look around. Suddenly intimidated by the large space, and at getting the distinct impression that Thendra just lied to me. Or¡­ at least avoided telling me the entire reasons why she gave this book to me.


    I shuffle uncomfortably, debating pressing the issue.


    I end up letting out a huff of annoyance and decide to chew on it while exploring this new treasure. I move over to the small table where I¡¯d eaten earlier, and begin.


    I always loved books, but didn¡¯t get to relish that passion until my Fae mother took me in. She didn¡¯t have many I could read, but the few she had I read over and over again in those first few months. That¡­ stopped when she started teaching me to sing. That obsession had killed any desire for books until long after I¡¯d woven my new home in the Dreamer¡¯s Wood.


    After that¡­ Well, I did my best to always have a new project to occupy my time.


    This tome, however, it absolutely absorbs my attention. I find myself entranced by the soft scent of the forest on the pages and falling into the journal entries and stories of the author and their explorations at the heart of Fae society. I chuckle aloud a few times at the jokes and pranks and drama their presence seems to cause. They boast and enthrall me with the many sexual exploits and troubles they experience as they try and piece together the customs of the culture.


    I also begin to pick up new words of the Fae-Song. The author spends entire sections carefully explaining nuanced differences between words and phrases, and when they struggle with something they make sure to come back and note the page with a correction or clarification.


    But¡­ after only a few hours¡­ I can¡¯t help but feel a deep jealousy at the welcome they were given. How, at least from their perspective, the Fae were a people of love and vibrancy. Overjoyed to welcome all life, and learn its unique story. Fae abhor cruelty and torture, and the author had to clarify on many occasions to them how humans don¡¯t all share similar core values. That some are just¡­ uniquely horrible. That more than just some are very flawed. Broken at an early age by trauma and tragedy.


    I stop reading then, and curl my knees up to my chest and just stare ahead blankly, begin to pick at an old memory scar.


    That¡¯s enough for now. I decide, and push off my stool. After gathering up my book I silently head over to the bed and crawl beneath the sheets. I hug the book close, and try to dream of a life where I was accepted and beloved by the Fae.

 Chapter 7: Amwella Drinkers

    Content warning:


    -Sex with heavy power dynamic problems and a past of loneliness and abandonment making one character ignore said power dynamic problems.


    -forced bathing and undressing to get there


    -memories of torment and a bit of... well I guess it is TOTALLY heavy manipulation that could also be classified as gaslighting? I think? Classic abuser things to make people think that the torment they suffer is their fault and their responsibility to avoid.


    -hair yanking in an abusive way at the end.


    ¡°NO!¡± I fight down tears as I glare up at Thendra. ¡°I¡¯ve just been sitting around all day. I¡¯m not¨C¡±


    She shows no anger at my outburst. Just¡­ sighs. Like she¡¯d expected it. ¡°Why? Why does this scare you so much?¡±


    I had mini panic attacks each time I looked at the tub. Second day was the worst¡­ but it wasn¡¯t until now, as she insisted I go take a bath on the evening of the third that I finally fight back.


    ¡°Really? You¨C¡± I spit back, but I still have to look away. ¡°Because that¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s hard to¡­ I don¡¯t want to.¡±


    She leans down then, takes my chin between two fingers and forces me to look at her. I fight, but she is just so much stronger than me.


    ¡°Lyra. I will drag you into the tub and wash you myself if that¡¯s what it takes. You¡¯re not the first slave I¡¯ve had to¨C¡±


    First time she¡¯s called me that. Not little Fae, not My Lyra¡­ just¡­ slave. It hurts more than I expect. It¡­ another part of me breaks, feels like Thendra just dropped something dear to me to watch it shatter upon the cold tiled floor. I¡¯m surprised there wasn¡¯t an audible crack.


    I reach up and try to pull at her fingers off with both my hands, she lets me. I hiss the next words. ¡°Is that all I am? Owned Flesh? Meat waiting to be fattened up and¨C¡±


    Then I get the anger I¡¯m asking for. But¡­ Just as a low growl. ¡°Which words would you prefer I use?¡±


    Why am I testing her patience? Do I want her to lash out and hit me? Or worse¡­ command me to inflict more pain on myself? But¡­ I¡¯m just so tired and so angry. I¡¯ve not slept well. Even when I try to get to bed before her or¡­ try to move away she would just¡­ always be there. Mixing me with fear of pain¡­ and unfulfilled promises of¡­ other things I couldn¡¯t get myself to forget. I¡¯d woken up snuggled up to her warmth twice now and was too terrified to squirm away.


    ¡°Dreamer take you!¡± I throw at her with venom, turning away from her stare. ¡°I¡¯m not going back there. So¡­ just.. command me to hurt myself with a song or curse again. You enjoyed that, right?¡±


    A very long pause passes between us. Then, like lightning, she has one of my wrists. I flinch, brace for pain and torment. But¡­ She just follows through on her threat and drags me to the bath.


    I kick and shout and try to fight, using anger to mask my panic and fear. But the only anger she shows is in her annoyance as she pulls my clothes free and yanks me into the warm water with her. I consider biting her as she locks a leg around me and turns me to face her. ¡°Well? Do you really want me to do this?¡±


    ¡°Sure!¡± I just glare. ¡°It¡¯ll be worse here when I pass out and start to drown.¡±


    She stares back, face empty. All calm focus and¨C


    Then she sweeps my leg out and dunks me beneath the warm water. She doesn¡¯t hold me, just sort of¡­ dips me.


    I come up sputtering and flustered and even more annoyed.


    ¡°I expect you to bathe regularly.¡± She purrs calmly. ¡°And I¡¯ll not have you afraid of water, Lyra.¡±


    I look away then, glare at the spot where she¡¯d tortured me. ¡°It¡¯s not the water. It¡¯s this spot. This is where you¨C¡±


    ¡°Would you rather I did that in the bed? Or downstairs in front of the Reavers? Or¨C¡±


    ¡°Nowhere! I¡¯d rather not be tortured at all!¡± I hiss.


    She sighs, leans back without releasing my wrist. ¡°Ask me.¡±


    I grind my teeth, squeeze my eyes shut, and consider refusing her. Of¡­ of forcing her to just¡­


    ¡°May I Sing?¡±


    She speaks the commands for me bare my soul in song.


    I do. Hissing and spitting a vile thing. I know the basic shape of a few extra Fae words now, and can¡¯t help but shove them into the melody. I growl all my rage and hurt at her, for my hatred for this room, and am even rewarded with a few flinches from her, but she doesn¡¯t command me to stop.


    For a moment fear does reach me, and It inflicts itself upon the song, twisting the notes into the sound of a scared animal. What if¡­ what if she¡¯s going to¨C


    I whirl to her, and we lock eyes.


    ¡°Would you like to stop?¡±


    I nod, fight to keep the anger on my face.


    ¡°Then Stop.¡± She answers.


    In a gasp I end the bitter melody. End up needing to spit a glob of blood and bile. But¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits I needed that. Feel so much better after letting my emotions out. I hadn¡¯t asked her to sing but a couple times since the last time I was here, and those were all simple little things. Carefully crafted to hide my fears and desires.


    It takes me a few seconds, but I recover and meet her stare again.


    Still no anger.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± She replies, ¡°I will never hurt you if you simply obey me.¡±


    I snort, my disbelief plain. ¡°How am I supposed to trust that? Trust you? You¡¯re¨C¡±


    She pulls my wrist, yanking me close. Then she takes my jaw and neck in one giant fist.


    It doesn¡¯t hurt, but it does shut me up. Sudden worry that she might just¡­ decide to try out physical torture if I won¡¯t just¡­ break.


    ¡°Disobey me in flesh, and I¡¯ll punish you in kind.¡± She purrs. ¡°Disobey me with your Fae songs, and I will make sure you feel their sting.¡±


    That¡­ well it doesn¡¯t drain my anger, but¡­ the logic helps drain some of the fear. Helps the panic at her using the commands to hurt me settle.


    ¡°I can¡¯t afford mistakes.¡± She explains as she sees her words reach me, ¡°And your magic is not something to trifle with.¡±


    ¡°But¡­¡± Fear gives way to¡­ to pain and sorrow. I feel my lips tremble at the memory, ¡°You¡­ you could have just¨C¡±


    ¡°You reached for it three times without my command. And in front of outsiders!¡± She shakes her head, anger finally showing in a growl, ¡°I could not let you escape punishment. And you will bear that memory as a reminder.¡±


    She drops me, allows me to slump into the water.


    I sink, blow bubbles as I try to hold onto the anger. It¡­ doesn¡¯t work well. Bubbles aren''t a good catalyst for spiteful rage. Long moments pass, and the water begins to cool. Grows uncomfortable.


    I huff, annoyed, and begin to move to leave.


    ¡°Wait.¡± I hear her purr.


    I nearly jerk as I stop part way out of the water, then turn to her.


    Jade eyes roll up and down my naked flesh, and I can¡¯t help but shudder. She¡¯s¡­ even more striking when wet. And she didn¡¯t even take off most of her clothes before dragging me into the water.


    ¡°Your Amwella is healed.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    Then, with very little effort she hooks me with a leg and pulls me back. Before I can realize what she¡¯s doing, has me with both hands and pulls me into her.


    I¡¯m completely engulfed, back clamped to her chest by huge arms.


    ¡°What are you¨C¡±


    Her huge hands wander, one trails up to my neck and jaw, while the opposite moves down beneath the water and¨C


    ¡°Wa¡­ Wait!¡± I yelp.


    She does.


    I wasn¡¯t actually expecting her to stop. I wait for her to growl, and tell me that I don¡¯t have a choice here. That I¡¯m just a pillow slave to be used as she wishes.


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    But after a few tense seconds, she releases me. Slowly, carefully, and gently making sure I have my own footing.


    I just¡­ stand there. Back to her as I stare down at the water. Caught between fear and hatred and desire.


    ¡°Why?¡± I whisper. ¡°Why do you care if I want you to stop?¡±


    ¡°Sex allows us to slice Amwella away cleanly.¡± She replies, ¡°Take off entire chunks without doing harm.¡±


    There should have been an audible click as that slots things into place. ¡°Oh.¡±


    That¡¯s how she¡­ and her Reavers, have got such big Amwella cores. They¡­ they¡¯re not just flesh eaters, they¡¯re Amwella drinkers.


    I shudder at the realization. Sex is¡­ Sex is how they get their best meals. Voe¡¯s words¡­ her threats to take the final bites of my little flame, and Thendra¡¯s promise to share my Amwella with¨C


    I gulp. I really am just¡­ food. A piece of meat to be fattened and carved up. Flesh to be cooked and consumed. It¡¯s been out there in the open this entire time. I was just too¡­ overwhelmed and distracted to see it.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± I curse aloud.


    That gets a purring laugh from Thendra.


    I glance over my shoulder to her. She¡¯s leaning back, all relaxed strength and easy confidence as her jade eyes move from staring at¡­ some other parts of me¡­ to meeting my eyes.


    ¡°So why not just take it?¡± I carefully slide away from her, like a mouse under the gaze of a big jungle cat. ¡°Just now. Why stop?¡±


    Annoyance laces her words as she shrugs, seems to notice my fear, glances up and away. ¡°It wouldn¡¯t be clean. You have to enjoy it for it to work well. Otherwise¡­ You¡¯d be damaged. I¡¯ll not risk that.¡±


    I huff. ¡°So¡­ you''re not actually attracted to me. To my¨C¡±


    She turns back, glimmering jade eyes bore into mine, the room seems to grow a touch warmer. ¡°Hunger and desire are one.¡±


    That¡­ well¡­ makes things complicated again. I curl in on myself, shudder in the growing cold.


    ¡°Will¡­ how many times¡­¡± I huff, collect my thoughts. ¡°You said my Amwella had healed, before. But¡­ Now you want to carve off a piece?¡±


    She laughs, and¡­ Dreamers Tits it¡¯s all confidence and warmth. Sends a flutter of heat into me that cuts at the last dregs of fear and annoyance. ¡°It wouldn''t be a large piece. Not at first. You¡¯d fully recover before waking up tomorrow.¡±


    I suck in a deep breath. Stop teasing at this. Just¡­ fucking¡­ take some Dreamer fucked pleasure. Do you really want to die without knowing what it''s like?


    I take a hesitant step toward her through the cold waters. She doesn¡¯t move, but I can see her attention focus on the motion. Curious hunger tints her, as if she can see my mind turning and considering her.


    Do I want my first embrace to be like this? With her? With this¡­ monster?


    ¡°Will¡­¡± I hesitate, just a few feet away.


    Better this, than some other... Something that would just¡­ take what they want without caring how much it hurt you.


    ¡°Lyra?¡± She purrs.


    I huff, turn, and settle back against her. Shift and press into her warmth to escape the cold waters. ¡°Will it hurt?¡±


    She slowly wraps her arms around me, leans down so that her mouth is next to my ear. ¡°You¡¯ll be too distracted to notice anything.¡±


    That¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Cunt. That sends a warm wash of heat down me. Starting at my ear, shivering along my spine, and settles in between my legs.


    ¡°Can we at least get out of the cold?¡± I whisper.


    A hand wanders back to my neck and slides up into my hair, while the other moves to gently gasp one of my breasts.


    ¡°Soon.¡± she murmurs.


    I shudder, and lean back into her. Wanting¡­ more of that thrumming warmth. She pulls me closer, presses lips and teeth into my neck before pulling my head back to expose more skin. Begins to rake fingers across and around my chest, hungrily exploring and clawing.


    And then there is a sound¡­ a¨C


    Oh. That was me?


    She takes a nipple between two fingers, pinches. I make the little whimpering sound again, and then her teeth are at my shoulder, a purr of satisfaction and anticipation and¨C


    ¡°You should sing for us.¡±


    Without hesitation, even with the fluttering madness that clogs my mind, I gather up my Amwella and prepare to¨C


    It wasn¡¯t a command. So the curse grazes against me, causing me to jerk and suddenly thrash about in panic and fear. I choke out a gasp as I drop the Amwella back into my core.


    She doesn¡¯t release me, barely even seems bothered by my sudden pain.


    ¡°Don¡¯t do that!¡± I hiss.


    ¡°Hmm?¡± She murmurs into my skin.


    ¡°Either command me to sing or not!¡± I curl up, try to¡­ to warm myself around her grasping hands. ¡°Don¡¯t¡­ suggest I maybe, or might, or should! Just tell me to!¡±


    She moves her teeth back up my neck, moves her other arm to wrap bodily around me. And it¡¯s very hard to stay focused on my anger as one hand slides down to cup my underside. Grazes past soft things between legs and¨C


    ¡°Your body moves to my words, even over your own thoughts.¡± She purrs, ¡°That¡¯s good.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be cruel about it!¡± I spit through clenched teeth, trying to focus as her fingers dance and grasp. How they keep¡­ almost touching much more sensitive areas.


    I feel her tongue then, as it curls and dances along the softest parts of my throat. ¡°I¡¯m breaking you, little Fae.¡±


    That should send a cold jolt down my spine, be filling me with terror. But my thoughts are melting down at her warm touch, hypnotizing me into not caring. Into liking the idea. Just so long as she doesn¡¯t fucking stop.


    Her fingers are so close. Grazed right over something amazing.


    ¡°I¨C¡± My pleading whimper starts, but then she¡¯s there, a large hand cupping me between my slowly spreading legs. Almost holding me afloat.


    Movement¡­ and I¡¯m lost. All my thoughts drop to focus on the slow seductive pattern she begins to carve into me. She¡¯s not gentle, oh no. Her fingers push and claw and shove my second lips around like so much grass in a storm for what seems like forever. I end up squirming against her and whimpering a few more times.


    ¡°Thendra¡­¡± I whisper, ¡°Please¡­ just¨C¡±


    Then she¡¯s inside me, and I whimper at the jolt of pain and pleasure. She presses harder, shoves deeper, and grinds at the soft Fae flesh I wove for myself.


    On reflection, I perhaps should have listened to my Fae-mothers advise when crafting this body. Dampen the sex and sensitivity spots, at least for the first few years. She¡¯d said. Let myself enjoy being Fae without flooding myself with unneeded impulses.


    Save that for a little later. She''d told me.


    But¡­ I didn¡¯t listen. And in those final days I began dreaming of meeting some amazing love on my future trips to the Midday Court. Of love and romance and¡­ well¡­. I ended up not only ignoring her advice, but spending extra time making sure all the nameless parts not only worked, but excelled.


    So that leaves me here, trapped in Thendra¡¯s clutches. Unable to think past the rising heat and twitching spasms my body inflicts me with. Wriggling and thrashing into her instead of away. Almost¡­ begging her to do¡­ something more! Hands twist back to grip her while my back arches, trying to push myself up into her mouth, but also down into her touch.


    I don¡¯t remember¡­ wanting to do it. Wanting to see her soul. Just¡­ suddenly I was aware of Thendra¡¯s Amwella enveloped around me. Watching as its radiant tendrils curl and thrash in time with my own little flame. Feel as it begins to squeeze and pull at mine, testing to find¡­


    The warmth between my legs bubbles over, her Amwella wraps around mine tighter as sharp glowing fangs slide from its core. Thendra moves a leg to keep mine apart as I fight to squeeze them together. She digs her hand deeper into me to enhance the jilting of raw sensation that drowns my thoughts.


    It''s the second best feeling of my entire existence. Even with the view of my Amwella getting a chunk sliced free and swallowed hole. The pain there is¡­ nothing. Absolutely nothing like my curse¡¯s sting. Almost of gentle tease of a caress in comparison.


    All my muscles slump at once, and I fall back into Thendra¡¯s warm embrace. Bask in a glow that spreads through me and brings a grin to my lips. Dreamer¡¯s Clit and Cunt that was¡­ How did that feel so good?


    She simply holds me, pulls fingers free and wraps me in those huge warm arms while lips nibble at my shoulder. Only a few minutes, that¡¯s all I need for my energy and warmth to rekindle. Then I¡¯m wiggling from her grasp, turning to straddle her, and pressing my lips to hers.


    She doesn¡¯t know what to make of my sudden motion at first, but once she understands she¡¯s accepting me without hesitation. Meeting my hungry clueless lips with her own deft and hungry motions. The kiss is long and so wonderful. I can¡¯t help but stifle a moan as I press myself into her rough mouth. My tiny hands gently feel her face and neck while my bare chest and hips rub and slide against her.


    Then I bite at her lower lip and¨C


    Hands wrap around and under me to support my weight. Then we¡¯re rising, and Thendra is carrying me to her bed.


    I forgot how fast she could be. As I think to pull away from the kiss she is already tilting me down and pressing me into the quilts.


    I want to touch her, explore her, taste her skin against my lips. But¡­ she¡¯s already at my neck again. Both her hands free to begin their domination of¡­ this. Of me. I end up settling for twisting my own hands through her hair, and squeezing at her shoulders and upper arms.


    She is so¡­ solid. Where I am small and soft she is all massive twisting strength.


    Her mouth is at my breasts before I can think people thoughts anymore, and I can¡¯t help but wriggle and twist and whimper a little as she gnaws at them. Long tongue flicking and lashing at my nipples before teeth clamp and pull.


    Then she is shoving my legs apart, moving down my belly, and that tongue is about to¨C


    ¡°Sing.¡± She growls.


    I¡­ well it doesn¡¯t really matter if I want to. At her command my mouth opens and a giggling song of sex and lust and whimpering cries is dancing off my lips.


    Tongue and teeth play at the sensitive flesh between legs. Dreamer¡¯s Tits this is¡­ is¡­ is the best thing I could ever¨C


    Lick, nibble, flick¡­ then she¡¯s pushing herself into me. Goes deep, lashes about, Bites down hard enough to draw blood as the warmth of another climax hits me with the force of a summer storm.


    Once again I watch as her Amwella¡¯s core curls around me and slices off a chunk of my flame. Bigger this time. But the little pain only makes me shudder more at the wonderful orgasms'' Thendra just gave me.


    I¡­ I wonder how that feels? I muse as Thendra takes time to savor the taste of me. Pulls out.


    ¡°Stop.¡±


    I¡¯d forgotten about the song, and don¡¯t even feel the near sting as my body reflexively ends it. Leaving only a sort of¡­ echo amidst the afterglow I¡¯m drifting in.


    As I sag into the quilts, Thendra crawls up my body to hang above me. For a few heartbeats she just¡­ stares down at me. A strange intensity in her eyes.


    She¡­ her expression is¡­ I¡¯m not sure? It looks¡­ well I thought I saw something of her satisfaction but is that¡­ pain? I¨C


    Then she is at my lips again, tongue parting mine and filling me with her warm spiced breath and¨C


    Oh¡­ I¡¯m tasting myself.


    I¡¯m surprised to find it only brings up warmth and memories of how amazing Thendra just made me feel. So I embrace it and kiss her back, let my fingers wander up to her face and neck. Trail down to her chest as our mouths weave delightful patterns.


    But eventually she¡¯s untangling our tongues, pulling away right as energy and warmth begins to return and sweep between my legs.


    ¡°That¡¯s enough.¡± She murmurs.


    I try to muster a pout amidst my stupid grin as she hovers out of my reach.


    ¡°Tired already?¡± I giggle, and Dreamer¡¯s Tits does it feel good. I haven''t laughed like that since¡­ well¡­  ¡°I could do this all night.¡± I clasp fingers up at her. ¡°I want to do this all night!¡±


    She turns and carefully orients herself so that her head will land on the pillows as she drops herself bodily onto the bed.


    I let out a huff. Then roll over and crawl after her. Wriggle up over and atop her so that I¡¯m straddling her hips.


    ¡°What if¨C.¡± I coo down at her, begin to run hands and fingers along her chest. ¡°What if you just¡­ Let me try to...¡±


    Jade eyes snap to me as I push up her still damp tunic.


    Little fantasies about tasting her, feeling her shudder with the same pleasure she just gave me. My lips slide across her belly and hips, and I wriggle myself down to settle between her legs while my mouth traces a pattern across¨C


    Then her hand is in my hair, stopping and pulling me a few inches up and away.


    ¡°You¡¯ll not feed on me.¡± a low growl rumbles through her.


    I can¡¯t stop a yelp of pain as I reach up to grip her wrists, trying to relieve some of the pressure. ¡°Wha¨C What!?!?¡±


    ¡°You think me foolish? Little Fae?¡± She purrs, all threat and annoyance. ¡°Think I would let you feast on my soul?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t!¡± I sputter, ¡°I wasn¡¯t even¨C I don¡¯t even know how to do that!¡±


    She snorts, it¡¯s the ugliest sound I¡¯ve ever heard her make. All disgust and disdain that begins to rot the afterglow of her attentions.


    ¡°You¡¯re my first!¡± I hiss, ¡°I¨C I never¡­¡±


    She glares at me as I struggle. ¡°I¡¯ll not let a slave take from me.¡±


    It¡¯s my turn to glare. It¡¯s a small thing compared to hers, especially hanging like this. ¡°May I sing?¡±


    A beat, and I swear I can see her confidence waver.


    ¡°May I?¡± I hiss again.


    She pulls me to the side and releases me. Almost tosses me away.


    I topple, but keep my fury and glare back at her.


    She¡¯s looking past me. Considering¡­


    ¡°I don¡¯t want your Amwella.¡± I finally whisper. ¡°I just¡­ Just wanted to¡­¡±


    An enormous sigh leaves her, and with it¡­ all the anger. ¡°I forget¡­ you were once human. And never thrived into a mature Fae.¡±


    I can¡¯t help the bile that rises up at that. But she speaks before I can boil it into a reply.


    ¡°Sing your intentions to me.¡± She murmurs.


    I do¡­ and flinch as I¡¯m forced to twist my rage and pain back into desire and lust. I hum a dancing tune of physical satisfaction, one that is innocent to any Amwella hunger. It seeks only pleasure and the return of it.


    Just before it can shift into rage and pain, as those first notes begin to stir within its melody, Thendra stops me.


    I gasp at the near pain and sudden choking rise of my anger after such a tantalizing song. Turn from her and grit my teeth to try and drive the joy of it away.


    The bed shifts, and before I can jerk to face her she has wrapped me in her arms and is pulling me up into her. I struggle, empty little things of fading spite.


    ¡°It is a part of your nature. To consume another¡¯s Amwella.¡± She purrs, and I can¡¯t stop the warmth that ripples down me at her tone. ¡°I cannot let you do it. ¡±


    ¡°Next time just fucking tell me.¡± I grumble.


    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± She drags me down into the quilts, hands begin to wander. Cause little flickers of warmth to overwhelm my annoyance.


    I huff, and allow her to ravage me three more times that night.

 Chapter 8: Fae Songs

    ¡°How many can you recall?¡± Thendra purrs.


    I¡¯d spent the last hour or so rambling on to her about the words and phrases of the Fae-Song I¡¯d begun learning the shape of, and this was her first question.


    ¡°Um¡­ I¡­ I didn¡¯t count?¡± I reply, suddenly self-conscious.


    She considers, but doesn¡¯t add anything.


    ¡°But¡­ I don¡¯t know how many are¡­ like¡­ true.¡± I huff.


    She perks up at that, a little twitch I¡¯d learned to watch for when Thendra was suddenly paying closer attention.


    In the week since our first sex, the only other real attention she¡¯s aimed my way was to bring me food, make sure I bathed every evening, and to¡­ um¡­ eat more of my Amwella. After our first night I¡¯d welcomed her touch and kept urging her to take more and more of me. It¡­ It felt amazing and drowned the little parts of me that chafed at this new life.


    She seemed pleased and surprised that first morning, when I¡¯d woken with a fully repaired Amwella core. Since then she seemed just as eager to embrace me multiple times a day.


    But¡­ Other than that she¡¯s just¡­ left me to work through this book. It¡¯s a thick tome, but I¡¯ve read through it three or four times by now. When I¡¯d finally gotten the courage to ask if I could read something else, she¡¯d sat down and asked me to explain what I¡¯d found.


    So here I am, hoping that she¡¯ll be satisfied enough to let me read something else.


    ¡°My mother told me that true Fae words, spoken in understanding and with emotions that match them will make my songs more real.¡± I clutch at her sudden interest. ¡°The ones I know are mostly of change, and hiding!¡±


    She leans over onto one arm to study me. ¡°What can you change?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ Well, the change mostly lets me¡­ eh¡­ sing back into this shape. I had to learn it to complete my body.¡±


    ¡°Ah. What else can it change?¡±


    I sag, feeling her disappointment. ¡°Nothing. Just me. They¡¯re¡­ kind of¡­ just me. Not like my name but a¡­ instructions. A map of myself. It lets me heal more easily.¡±


    ¡°Hm.¡± She murmurs. ¡°And the other? Hiding?¡±


    I nod. ¡°I ask the world to help me go unnoticed. It¡¯s strongest in the forest.¡±


    ¡°I wondered how you avoided my Reaver¡¯s attention till you were already upon us.¡±


    ¡°Mhm! You¡¯d have never caught me if I had decided to run!¡± I nod, a little pride bubbling up. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know how good it would be here though. In this desert city.¡±


    ¡°What words would you like to test?¡± She taps the book.


    ¡°Oh! Um¡­¡± I flip through the pages, thinking furiously. ¡°I have a few that¡­ that I was thinking about trying tonight, actually. Next time we¡­ um¡­¡±


    She quirks an eyebrow at that.


    ¡°You''re just¡­¡± I don¡¯t fight the blush, or the little grin that rises. ¡°You¡¯re always asking me to sing during sex.¡±


    ¡°What would it do?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know for sure!¡± I giggle, ¡°I won¡¯t¡­ Fae song is like anything else. I¡¯ll have to use it to even begin to understand it well.¡±


    Thendra hums, considers. ¡°Will I begin to understand it as well? Be able to identify what it¡¯s doing?¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡± I glance up, see¡­ careful worry? So I quickly add. ¡°Yes! That¡¯s how this human learned them. It¡¯s¡­ Yes. So long as you''re trying to.¡±


    She nods, and seems unbothered now. So I relax.


    ¡°Leave them for later then.¡± She reaches out, stops my page turning. ¡°What other words can we begin to learn?¡±


    And so Thendra has me sing out and piece together possible meanings for these new words.


    We started sitting for hours and hours at the smaller table, working together. Eventually she cleared off her desk and had me sit there with her. She would take notes and compile lists. Of words and phrases she wanted me to try, ones I couldn¡¯t possibly decipher ¡®in time¡¯, and ones we thought I was grasping at.


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    I¡¯m so¡­ consumed by it. By her. By the routine she lulls me into.


    Occasional morning sex before food, then work until lunch. Sometimes sex again, if we¡¯d made good progress. Work until the evening meal. Then sex and a bath before sleep.


    And slowly¡­ Thendra smothers my aching for the forest. For my old life¡­ even for my freedom. My desire to sing becomes intermingled with the longing for her to command it.


    She¡¯s breaking me. Or already has. And I¡¯m glad to help.


    I¡­ I hope my mother never sees me like this.


    ¡°We¡¯re going out today.¡± Thendra purrs as I begin to settle at her desk.


    ¡°Out?¡± The word¡­ doesn¡¯t make sense. Has no place in my life. Out?


    She hums a growl and walks to the opposite side of the table. ¡°Our work here is good. But not fast enough. We need to get those three words into your songs.¡±


    She taps some notes, ones she seemed the most eager to have me practice these past few days.


    Fear, Pain, and¡­ ugh human words can¡¯t convey their depth and subtleness. Especially this last one. We simply called it Spite. I¡¯d only seen them mentioned once, a jumbled scrawling at the bottom of a page. I hadn¡¯t expected to be able to form them well, but¡­ they¡¯d felt so familiar¡­


    All ugly words, and I couldn¡¯t help but wince at them. In my practice songs I¡¯d always ended up spitting blood and bile. Thendra had been careful from the start to always command them directed elsewhere, making sure they were never directed at her or myself.


    Their effects could always be seen, but not¡­ it¡¯s hard to explain. They aren''t right yet. I don¡¯t grasp their depth, and I¡¯m kind of glad about that. But¡­ Thendra is hungry for me to weave them into songs that could be used on command to a full effect.


    ¡°We¡¯ve heard no word or whisper from the Matron since Voe and Zitra¡¯s visit.¡± She murmurs, ¡°And I¡¯d like to know if their library contains texts that can assist this.¡±


    That runs my blood cold.


    ¡°But¡­ what if they try to¨C¡± I stammer.


    ¡°Then the entire city will know her word is worthless.¡± She cuts me off. ¡°Bonds will be shaken, or shattered if she violates our peace. She¡¯ll not risk centuries of careful work for one Fae, even one so dangerous as you Lyra.¡±


    And then she takes me through the city. I¡¯d expected her to bring the other women. A sort of honor guard of protection. But¡­ she doesn¡¯t.


    ¡°If the Matron truly wishes war on us, we¡¯ll need speed, not strength. I¡¯ll get us out.¡± She assures me.


    That doesn¡¯t help my anxiety as the dry air of the desert cities'' brimstone and jade pathways pass by us, as strange beings of various shapes crowd the streets.


    She¡¯d not given me more to wear than usual either. Just a clean shawl and underthing. I can¡¯t help but shudder and shake as brumble flesh races across my skin as we move through more crowded areas.


    There is such a variety of people though! All types of skin tones and weird hair things and even some horns and claws. Once, a woman with eyestalks passes near us, but she doesn¡¯t even look our way.


    Most ignore us, some give Thendra a quick glance or nod, but others¡­ I can feel their gaze wash over me. Examining me, even¡­ well it feels like some considered worse things. I could swear some could even see my Amwella, maybe even the curses that pierce it.


    But eventually we¡¯re passing down a large stairwell, and I realize the city is much much larger than I¡¯d thought. Huge caverns and winding tunnels seem to lead in all directions. If it wasn¡¯t for the past week or more confined to Thendra¡¯s room and home I¡¯d probably be having a bit of a panic at it all.


    Instead I have my panic spike as we take a side passage and end up in a very nearly deserted corridor, down farther I can see it open up and just make out a huge set of slightly ajar doors. Each bearing half a symbol, an image of some androgynous creature with far too many eyes.


    ¡°Lyra,¡± Thendra purrs, lays a hand on my head and kneels to match her jade eyes to mine.


    ¡°Mhm?¡± Is all I can whisper.


    ¡°What are your instructions?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t talk unless directly spoken to, but look to you to see if I¡¯m to answer.¡± I squeak. ¡°Ask if¡­ If I need to sing. But only quietly and to calm myself. No big magic.¡±


    ¡°And if things go poorly?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll leave.¡± I repeat back her commands. ¡°You¡¯ll snatch me up and run if we have to go fast. I¡¯ll try to be small and not limit your movement.¡±


    ¡°And if we get separated?¡±


    ¡°I¨C¡± she¡¯d not spoken to me about that. Not even¨C


    ¡°We won¡¯t.¡± She purrs a smile and rises. ¡°Don¡¯t attempt to wander off, little Fae.¡±


    I nod furiously, the surprise answer to the unexpected question shocks me out of my little spiral.


    Then she¡¯s moving, and I scurry to follow.


    The doors are huge, easily twice Thendra¡¯s height. The symbol¡¯s eyes sparkle and entrance me with fear. Each is empty, but the void seems to stare back at me.


    She doesn¡¯t even hesitate, just moves to the large space between the open door and the closed, and steps inside, I follow.


    I¡¯m instantly hit with a sweet smell as my eyes adjust to the sudden brightness. Inside is big, and after half-a dozen feet the hard stone floor gives way to what looks to be a very very soft rich purple carpet. At least a dozen stairs and side tunnels lead away and out.


    Thendra has stopped, waits patiently. I begin to fidget.


    Then there is a call, and a woman is rushing down one of the steps. She¡¯s barely taller than me, wearing a dress of blue scales over dark skin. Deep turquoise eyes shine from both her young face and a dozen eyestalks.


    ¡°Greetings!¡± She grins up at Thendra, coming to an abrupt halt three feet in front of us.


    ¡°I¡¯m here to reclaim a debt.¡± Thendra purrs down.


    ¡°Oh! Okay!¡± the little woman tilts her head, each eyestalk moving with the motion, ¡°Which member should I call for this? Or do you have a token for payment?¡±


    ¡°Voe, or Zitra if she¡¯s not available.¡± She looks past her, ¡°I¡¯ve won unrestricted access to your library.¡±


    That makes the little woman purse her lips. ¡°I¡­ Don¡¯t think I can¡­¡± A pause as she thinks. ¡°Give me a moment, please?¡±


    Thendra rumbles, a growl of acknowledgement.


    The woman steps back, turns, and scurries off down an entirely separate side passage.


    Uncomfortable silence passes. I continue to fidget. Thendra just stands, seemingly unbothered. But¡­ I can see her little tells, and can almost feel her tension. We¡¯re in a predator''s lair, and she¡¯s ready to become violence and speed at any moment.


    It¡­ somehow comforts my own terror and slows my drumming heart. She¡¯ll take care of you. She¡¯ll not leave you behind.


    A few eternities pass, then we both catch running footfalls as the blue-eyed woman comes back into the room. All in a huff.


    ¡°Thendra of The Thirteen?¡± She grins through a few recovered breaths.


    Thendra nods.


    ¡°Right this way.¡±


    She leads us through winding passages. At the end we arrive at another set of doors, these just simple wood with subtle embellishments. The little woman opens the doors and motions for us to follow as she steps inside.


    Past her is¡­ well¡­ a big scary paradise of knowledge. A cavern as large as that entry room filled with endless shelves of books and scrolls and maps and paintings and¨C


    ¡°Is there anything I can send for you?¡± The woman interrupts my wander, ¡°Refreshments, or such?¡±


    Thendra steps past her and observes the room. ¡°A catalog or basic layout. Directions to your private collections.¡±


    ¡°Oh! Um¡­¡± The woman fumbles, then recovers ¡°Of course! Right this way.¡±


    She leads us over to a tall desk that holds a single giant book on top, with dozens of scrolls kept on little shelves beneath.


    ¡°This is our logbook, and these..¡± She motions to the scrolls, ¡°Are the catalogs!¡±


    ¡°Hm¡­¡± Thendra turns. ¡°And the private and restricted sections?¡±


    She squirms, ¡°I¡­ eh¡­ don¡¯t have access to them myself. So um¡­¡±


    Another purring growl.


    ¡°An escort will be along shortly with the keys and such. Will help you find whatever¨C¡±


    ¡°Are the vows of your Matron so cheap, little watcher?¡±

 Chapter 9: Red Moonstone

    Content warning:


    -um... more big sad as you get to learn more of Lyra''s past and things she lost?


    Her eyes go wide with fear.


    ¡°I won unrestricted access. Go find me a key, and give me directions.¡± Still a purr, but with such¡­ venom. Even I can¡¯t help but wither beneath it.


    Her mouth just¡­ opens and closes a few times. Like a fish.


    ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t¡­ I don¡¯t¡­¡±


    Thendra raises a hand, halting her panic. ¡°If this is beyond you, fetch Voe or Zitra. They understand what is owed.¡±


    She simply squeaks, nods in reply, and scampers off. The door creaks loudly as she fights to close the heavy thing.


    A pause, Thendra tilts her head to listen, then glances down at me. A question. Do you need to sing?


    I shake my head. No.


    She nods, ¡°Consider us still observed.¡±


    We begin our search. No one comes in the first hour, and in that time Thendra finds two dozen scrolls and tomes in the catalog that she sends me off to retrieve.


    I¡¯m never outside her view, so I quickly shake any worry of something pouncing from the shadows to snatch me. It takes me a couple tries to understand the organization of this library, but soon I am making a little pile of treasures on one of the desks.


    The second hour ends with us beginning to go through our discoveries themselves. Most of them end up being useless upon even a cursory flip through the pages. Random mentions of encounters with the Fae and very sketchy impressions of their languages.


    We work in near total silence.


    On the third hour, I grow impatient and struggle to focus. Thendra notices, quirks an eyebrow in question.


    I consider, stand to stretch my aching legs, and nod to her.


    She opens her mouth to issue the command, but then the door opens, causing me to flinch and nearly fall over in surprise.


    ¡°Thendra!¡± Voe calls out.


    Thendra turns, no surprise on her face. ¡°Voe.¡±


    ¡°So sorry to keep you waiting.¡± She huffs as she approaches, ¡°Someone had to rush nearly across the city to inform myself and Zitra of your visit. You should have sent ahead! We could have had this scheduled and had your requested tomes prepared!¡±


    ¡°I expected the preparations to be made.¡± Thendra shrugs, all the show of a languid boredom. But I can see her tension spike.


    Voe smiles, eyestalks cast about the room, half seem to settle on me. ¡°Well for our general stock of course, but for our private collections¨C¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll not have an escort peer over my shoulder.¡± Thendra purrs as she rises.


    Voe rolls her face eyes, ¡°The Matron requires one of her¡¯s be present. And since I was the fool to cause this situation, it falls to me to ensure the safety of her collection.¡±


    Then her face eyes turn to me. And that horrible weight slowly begins to drown my Amwella, numbs my core.


    Thendra sighs, ¡°I wasn¡¯t speaking of you, Voe. You have my respect in this manner.¡±


    Her eyes snap back to Thendra, a genuine smile crosses her lips. ¡°That¡­ Well I¡¯d be insulted if I didn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s be on our way then.¡± Thendra moves, I fall into step behind her.


    Voe¡¯s eyes dart back to me. ¡°Well¡­ there is the matter of¡­ Your little pillow slave will need to wait here.¡±


    I almost trip, surprise and terror war within me as that weight begins to smother. Both at being called a pillow slave again, and the idea of being left here alone.


    ¡°She is needed.¡± Thendra purrs, no surprise or annoyance in her tone. Only a languid explanation.


    ¡°Our¡­ wager. Was for you. Just you.¡± She insists, turning back with hands outstretched in a pleading gesture. ¡°I¡¯m lucky our Matron didn¡¯t disown me for bartering it so lightly!¡±


    Thendra lets out a rolling purring laugh. It''s¡­ not a real laugh, but even I am fooled for a moment.


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    ¡°Does your Matron suddenly consider a slave worthy of consideration in these things? When I extend invitations or hold meetings should I be disallowing her handmaids? No, they are extensions of her will. Broken and Bound.¡±


    I bristle, fight to keep it from showing. She¡­ She¡¯s just¡­ But she does? Doesn¡¯t she? I really am bro¨C


    ¡°Thendra¡­¡± Voe murmurs, ¡°She is Fae! And worse, she is an object of¡­ interest to her. Why even bring her?¡±


    Do I even care? I stare down at the ground.


    ¡°If she were a servant or one of my Reavers I would respect the claim.¡± Thendra counters, ¡°But she is bound to me like few slaves ever can be. Not without turning their minds to mush.¡±


    Voe huffs, looks away to stare at me again. ¡°I don¡¯t think that¨C¡±


    Thendra steps closer to her, whispers something in her purring lilting tongue


    Every eye jerks to glare at Thendra. ¡°Don¡¯t you dare! Not here! Not¡­¡±


    Thendra purrs out a few more words, Voe fights to suppress a¡­ is that a blush? Then her anger cracks as a smirk begins to stab at her lips.


    ¡°Enough! Okay? Fine!¡± She finally huffs, ¡°Stop. Matron¡¯s crafted asshole, stop it!¡±


    Thendra smiles, all confident and satisfied with her victory. ¡°It really has been too long since we¨C¡±


    ¡°I said stop!¡± Voe hisses, but there is no bite or anger to it. ¡°You¡­ Yes. But also no. Not until after we finish with the venture. The Matron really would disown me if I let you seduce me like that again.¡±


    Seduce. I can¡¯t help but feel a rush of cold jealousy at that. She¡¯s an Amwella drinker, that¡¯s all. She probably just¡­ uses her!


    Like she uses me?


    ¡°Lead on then, Red Moonstone.¡± Thendra purrs.


    ¡°I said stop. Or damn our wager I will have you thrown out.¡± Voe purses her lips to suppress a grin, then turns to lead us out of the room.


    The private collection may have a space twice the size of the last, but it holds maybe a tenth of the books. The shelves display the tomes and scrolls covers out, with about a foot between them and strange carvings and symbols looping around most. Even at a distance, I begin to get head pains when I try to look at them for too long.


    As she leads us to a smaller mimicry of the larger library¡¯s catalog, an icy cold aura falls over us.


    ¡°Okay, so¡­¡± Voe claps her hands and turns to Thendra. ¡°Don¡¯t touch anything, let me retrieve any books you want. Otherwise the wards here will¡­ object.¡±


    Thendra nods, steps up close beside her to peer down at the scrolls. Most of Voe¡¯s eyes turn to gaze at her, while the others peer around the room. One stays fixed on me.


    Silence creeps back around us for a few moments.


    ¡°Anything I can¡­ eh¡­ help you locate?¡± Voe eventually whispers.


    Thendra just murmurs, then points to a spot on one of the scrolls. ¡°This one looks promising. Can you retrieve it for me?¡±


    ¡°Certainly!¡±


    While Voe heads off, Thendra turns to me just as I shiver and wrap my arms around myself. Eyes me with both a question and instruction. I head to one of the desks and sit, then shake my head at her.


    A quirk of an eyebrow.


    I shake my head again, whisper. ¡°Just cold.¡±


    She nods, turns just as Voe returns with a large scroll. ¡°Found it!¡±


    Thendra has her place it on the table before me and unseal it, then turns her back to the catalog with a gesture. ¡°I found two others that match my needs.¡±


    Voe hesitates, a few eyes turning back to glance at me. I force my head down and begin looking through the scroll.


    ¡°I¡¯m worried about infections, with one of these.¡± Thendra seems to win back her full attention, ¡°Parasites and traps. Can you assure they are safe to read?¡±


    Voe huffs, begins to explain something. But I ignore them and focus on the scroll.


    It¡¯s¡­ mostly paintings. Wonderful and detailed! I can smell the Fae-woods in the ink and parchment. Almost¡­ Taste it! I drink in the amazing motion of it all, carefully trace fingers over¨C


    And for a moment, I¡¯m back home with her.


    In our garden she taught me to keep with song and dirt stained fingers. The forest hums around us, and I am filled with a terrible longing. In a moment I feel the only person I¡¯ve ever loved embrace me in her arms in the way only a mother can.


    Tears well up in my eyes, and I¡­ I want to tell her how sorry I am. How much I wish I could see her again.


    But¡­ none of that matters, because I¡¯m¨C


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Thendra is next to me, grasping my shoulder and shaking me.


    ¡°Home.¡± I turn, stupid grin and face wet with tears.


    She stares down at me, tension and anger and worry and¨C


    ¡°Sorry, sorry!¡± I wipe at my face furiously. ¡°I¡­ I just¨C¡±


    I look past her, see Voe with another book in her arms as she regards me with a bitter annoyance, and clamp my mouth shut.


    Home. That¡­ That¡¯s the thing this painting taught me. Or¡­ that¡¯s the best word to describe the thing I can now weave into my songs.


    Thendra pulls away, looks to Voe. ¡°Did you check this scroll first? Is she in any danger?¡±


    ¡°How should I know?¡± Voe snorts, ¡°It¡¯s a collection of Fae paintings. Was only warded to protect it from wear and tear.¡±


    Thendra turns back to me as I adjust the scroll to move to the next image, and I feel both their gazes on me as I hungrily consume the next painting. But I don¡¯t care. Even the weight of Voe¡¯s terrible eyes trying to smother my soul can¡¯t stop me from absorbing their messages.


    I¡­ I thought I had to live the words to understand them. Sing them from the depths of my own soul. But¡­ Do these paintings disprove that? No¡­ they just¡­ fill in the gaps. I already knew and felt these things, just¡­ wasn¡¯t mature enough to grasp them on a thinking level.


    But¡­ I know them. They were already in my soul.


    Home, a meal eaten with someone you love and haven''t seen in a long while, the joy of new friendships made at unexpected times, and so so much more!


    All happy and wonderful things! So full of comfort and life! A past soaking in joys, a present of peace, and a future with only a few little worries.


    At some point Thendra is saying my name again, touching my shoulder.


    ¡°Almost done.¡± I murmur and pull the next painting across the table before me.


    And the image hits me so hard I almost fall from my chair. It¡¯s a word I¡­ well I only knew it in part. The person I¡¯d learnt it for had tried to have me unmade.


    Beloved sibling.


    Such horrible shame envelopes me as I remember where I am. As I jerk up to see the two monsters staring down at me. The beautiful illusion of the life I¡¯d dreamed of falling away from me like muck washed clean by the rain.


    No home, no community, no love¡­ Just¡­ physical pleasure as I sell my soul and its magic away.


    Thendra doesn¡¯t look at Voe, just¡­ bores her jade eyes into mine. ¡°Lyra?¡±


    I try to give her my best smile and nod, wiping away a face of tears. Can¡¯t cry here. Can¡¯t show the monsters how weak I am.


    ¡°All done.¡± I whisper.


    She nods, takes up the scroll, and lays a small black tome before me, honestly more of a journal. I take a deep breath and begin going through it.


    ¡°Does it list who took that last one?¡± Thendra asks as she holds the scroll out to Voe. ¡°How quickly could it be recovered and brought to us?¡±


    ¡°Oh um¡­ I¡¯m not sure actually.¡± Voe replies while she and Thendra move to the other side of the library to replace the scroll. ¡°There seems to be a mistake in the catalog. I¡¯ll have to ask around.¡±


    This is an ugly thing. No painting or gorgeous landscapes of Fae life, just¡­ big words and diagrams. Jagged and¨C


    ¡°How long?¡± Thendra rumbles from across the room.


    I flip a few more pages, and need to stifle a little sound of horror and disgust.

 Chapter 10: Dead Dreamers Promise

    Content warning:


    -descriptions of a journal of a butcher/torturing/self harm


    -abusive hair pulling at the end.


    -conversations of selling someone as a slave


    -a... well general hinting at a concept very close to suicide ideation. A grand wish for everything to end given a magical form.


    ¡°A few days? At least? I can send a messenger to¨C¡±


    A record of torture and pain. A butcher¡¯s journal. Litany¡¯s of a flesh eater and soul drinker. Pages and pages detail of how they tried to break the will, mind, and bodies of captives.


    This little journal is dedicated to their rare work on Fae subjects.


    ¡°I¡¯ll not be making a second trip before our venture, we need this found now.¡± Is Thendra¡¯s muffled retort.


    I want to slam it shut, tear it to pieces. Scream and bite and hiss and vomit as it records the Fae¡¯s pain and curses. Fury and bile bubble inside as I can hear the words scratched on the page. The conditions which best pull them from the Fae¡¯s mouths like teeth from a bound dog, sing a cursed tune in my mind.


    A far off huff, ¡°One of our family has it. I can¡¯t just¡­ storm about and demand it be returned!¡±


    I feel the fingers that this Fae was allowed to drag down their own face as they watched their fellows succumb to madness and death. I feel their relief as the pages describe their final words as they were granted death and peace from the dream.


    Pain, and pieces of fear. Spite is¡­ soaked into the tome.


    Eyes shut, deep breaths. That¡¯s not me, I¡¯m not there. I¡¯m safe I¡¯m¨C


    I open my eyes to see a woman of striking beauty sitting across the desk from me. Rich sunkissed skin complimented by a comfy robe of deep maroon silk. Eyes a pair of yellow gemstones that seem to drink me in dart to stare as my eyes fall on her.


    Elbow on the desk, chin on her palm, she smiles a mouth of perfect white teeth as the smothering weight slowly drags at my Amwella. Worse than both Voe and Zitras¡¯ combined. Cold terror infests my muscles, holds me still. Old reflexes to sing and hide from danger smothered. I want to cry out for Thendra, but something tells me that would mean she would pounce.


    In a slow languid motion she reaches down and pushes something to me with a single finger.


    I don¡¯t look down, don¡¯t dare take my eyes off her.


    Then I notice her eyestalks. They aren''t like Voe¡¯s or Zitra, there are only a few. But each one is about the thickness of my arm, bearing a single golden eye to match hers. One curls around her like a scarf while the other few seem to gaze about the room with lazy observation.


    ¡°For you.¡± She mouths at me, pushes the¡­ whatever it is, closer. I swallow, glance down. A single tiny scroll sits between us, parchment old and torn.


    ¡°Matron!?!¡± Comes a barely controlled shout.


    The woman doesn¡¯t turn, just drops her grin into a bit of a pout as we¡¯re interrupted. From the corner of my eye I see Thendra and Voe nearly running this way. Thendra gets here first, almost as fast as I¡¯d seen her move in the forest, but pauses five feet from us. Seems to pause to consider as one of those eyestalks turns to look at her.


    ¡°Honored Matron.¡± Thendra purrs.


    ¡°Hello Thendra,¡± She replies, voice all silken and soft.


    Voe catches up then, ¡°Gra¨C Matron.¡± She stammers, ¡°What brings you here at such a¡­ surprising hour?¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ just returning something to its rightful place, checking on investments, and¡­¡± She glances down at the scroll, then back up at me. ¡°Considering new¡­ purchases.¡±


    Thendra does growl then, a low warning.


    ¡°Voe dear, You didn¡¯t mention how lovely she was.¡± She murmurs. ¡°Such¡­ confliction, in her soul. Never even knew its like could flourish.¡±


    Voe moves forward, slips past Thendra.


    ¡°Grandmama!¡± She hisses, ¡°This¨C¡±


    A flash of annoyance, just in her eyes, and a slow turn to fix Voe with a glare is enough to silence her. The smothering weight falls away. Thendra does move then, is suddenly beside the desk with barely a whisper of motion. I flinch, The Matron does not.


    ¡°She is not for sale.¡± Thendra places both hands on the desk, glowers down at The Matron.


    She lazily shifts her focus up to Thendra, ¡°Everyone and everything has a price. Reavers know this better than most.¡±


    ¡°I do.¡± She leans down then, face only a foot from the Matron, ¡°And I know you cannot pay it. None can.¡±


    The Matron grins, ¡°Oh¡­ I think I can manage.¡±


    ¡°Make your offer then.¡± Thendra purrs.


    I¡­ It¡¯s all for show. Thendra won¡¯t sell me off. She¡­ she really really¡­


    This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    ¡°Undreka, returned to you.¡± She reaches up, very slowly and deliberately to touch the curse upon Thendra¡¯s collarbone. ¡°That removed, and some other great boon of your choice.¡±


    Everything inside me cracks and shifts, I almost cry aloud at her words. No! She¡¯ll take that. And my pain¡­ this¡­ It¡¯ll all be for...


    A long pause, no one speaks. One of the Matron''s eyestalks turns to lazily regard me.


    I¡¯ll have sold myself for NOTHING!!!


    Darkness closes in around my vision, my Amwella curls and writhes, but I do not call it. Even then, Thendra¡¯s command is the only thing that will make me do it on reflex. Maybe I can curse them. Push through that horrible pain and¨C


    Thendra¡¯s laugh breaks my spiral of panic, jerks me from my own maddened thoughts like a sudden crack of thunder.


    It¡¯s a long rolling thing, just not¡­ I¡¯ve heard her laugh. In both genuine mirth and annoyance. To goad and to relieve stress. This is all disdain and anger. Voe shifts back a step, real fear on her face as she glances between them. The Matron keeps her face locked in that grin, but her annoyance is plain.


    ¡°You insult me!¡± Thendra purrs through it, steps around to my side of the desk.


    ¡°What?¡± The Matron tilts her head.


    ¡°I traded mud for a diamond,¡± She lays a hand on my head. ¡°Now you offer me the mud again?¡±


    Fingers curl through my hair, and at her words and touch I can¡¯t help but melt. Sour fear and words fall away like so much rainwater. I end up leaning into her grasp. She¡¯ll keep you safe. Never let you go. Never sell you or abandon you or¨C


    ¡°Thendra, I¨C¡± Voe begins to speak, but a raised eyestalk from her grandmother turns her way and silences the interruption.


    A long silence passes between Thendra and the Matron. Then the monster stands, all grace and control, then sighs.


    ¡°Many of my kin adore you, Thendra.¡± The Matron¡¯s voice turns soft, ¡°And I value your skills. But this¡­¡± A hand waves over the desk, ends in an open palm gesture at me. ¡°This is barely contained disaster, and you play at giving her the words to enact it.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m grateful for your sudden... concern, but it''s misplaced.¡± Thendra pulls me closer, then drops fingers to squeeze and rub at my neck. ¡°Maybe you could have saved me from this if you had aided in my search for Undreka, instead of waiting to pick at my corpse.¡±


    The Matron¡¯s mask is broken only by a sudden¡­ intensity to her eyes. But otherwise she keeps her face passive and touched only by a mild concern. ¡°I love your confidence, Reaver.¡± She turns her gaze to smother me with her golden eyes. ¡°But¨C.¡±


    ¡°Do you have any guesses yet?¡± Thendra cuts her off.


    A long pause of surprise. Thendra¡¯s gaze flickers to Voe.


    ¡°Oh¡­um¡­¡± She stammers, looks at her Matron. ¡°At her original form?¡±


    Thendra nods. The Matron quirks an eyebrow, settles that horrible gaze on me.


    Voe huffs, ¡°I¡¯ve not given it much thought! Something driven mad, most likely. But not with enough intelligence to fuddle the¨C¡±


    I meet The Matron¡¯s gaze, and can''t look away for some reason. Her eye¡¯s widen, smile goes¡­ strange.


    ¡°Oh!¡± She exclaims, very softly.


    Thendra and Voe both look to her. She steps from the table. ¡°I retract my offer.¡±


    That seems to catch Thendra off guard, causing her fingers to pause in their motions at my neck.


    ¡°Matron?¡± Voe steps up beside her. ¡°What¡­ What was she?¡±


    The Matron sighs, all anger and annoyance. ¡°You''re insufferable, Thendra. Really. You really drug this little¡­ jest, out.¡±


    Voe pauses, Thendra quirks her head and shifts her weight.


    ¡°To goad me like this! Just before our work together reaches its climax!¡± The Matron smiles, ¡°If this had been public, or if you¡¯d actually taken my offer¡­ I¡¯d have flayed you living the second our business was concluded!¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t follow?¡± Voe tries to smile. ¡°Can I be let in on this little joke?¡±


    ¡°I think you¡¯ve guessed wrong,¡± Thendra is bristling, but I think only I notice this.


    ¡°I see the shape of it, now.¡± She shrugs, ¡°Really, you had me thinking you ensnared some impossible, twisted thing. But no¡­ just some sad little human given a Fae spark.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but flinch at half the truth of my past being laid so bare, talons dig into the desk.


    ¡°What!¡± Voe does yelp at that, ¡°But¡­ Matron, that''s not possible!¡±


    ¡°It is just not wise.¡± The Matron turns to leave, ¡°The Fae don¡¯t find satisfaction in cruelty. Her parent must have been quite the¡­ unique specimen. Would love to meet them someday, if they still live...¡±


    I bristle at that, but Thendra squeezes my neck before my anger can gain footing.


    ¡°You doubt my little Fae¡¯s abilities?¡±


    ¡°Hm? No, not at all!¡± She turns to regard her, ¡°Her curses, her Laments, are strong¡­ but also brittle things¡­ like¡­ hm¡­? Diamonds? Ha! Good analogy, an apt riddle you slipped in there.¡±


    B¨C Brittle? I¡­ the hope sparkles in my chest. And different parts of me war at the possibilities of that word. Could I be free from this? From... from... but...


    She giggles, and the sound is¡­ the most unnerving thing. ¡°You¡¯ve always been soooo clever.¡±


    Do¡­ Do I want to be? A not so small part of me whispers.


    ¡°Her curses don¡¯t wither, Matron. Not at our gaze, are you sure?¡±


    The Matron gives Voe positively disappointed glances with two eyestalks, but doesn¡¯t shift her face eyes from Thendra. ¡°I¡¯ll be so interested to see that. That second curse you had her place was inspired, Thendra. Perfect.¡±


    Thendra purrs a¡­ not happy sound. ¡°It was.¡±


    ¡°That curse, with the right words¡± She replies, ¡°You could get her to do¡­ almost anything for you. Discover the weak point of her first Lament, crack it, and you¡¯d get both prizes.¡±


    No. She''s wrong. There''re not...


    I jerk my head up, eyes wide at Thendra. I can see a flicker of hunger, of¡­ understanding.


    ¡°Ooooh¡­¡± The Matron purrs, and I feel the weight of her gaze fall back on me. ¡°Not quite broken yet I see. That¡¯ll need to come first then.¡±


    Thendra slowly, deliberately, doesn¡¯t look down to meet my gaze. But her big hand does shift, moves to grip a handful of my hair.


    Please. Please no¡­ No no no no NO!


    ¡°I left what I think will be a rather¡­ insightful, little piece of Fae language and lore.¡± The Matron¡¯s gaze leaves me then. ¡°I myself was brushing up on it in expectation of a purchase. But now¡­¡±


    Voe steps up to the desk, glances down. But I barely notice her as I silently beg Thendra to meet my eyes. To tell me this isn¡¯t actually her plan. To¡­ To break me then force me to let her¨C


    ¡°What is¡­¡± Voe reaches for the little scroll.


    ¡°Come! Voe.¡± The Matron calls as she arrives at the door. ¡°Let¡¯s leave our beloved ally here to tend to her slave.¡±


    Voe hesitates, but obeys, and just before the door closes whispers, ¡°Please don¡¯t get any blood on the books.¡±


    And then we are alone. Thendra stares after them for a very long moment, refusing to meet my gaze. ¡°Are you finished with the second book?¡±


    ¡°Thendra¡­¡± I whisper, soft plea to my words.


    Then she turns, very slowly and deliberately, to bore her bright Jade eyes down into me.


    Please. No! Keep our bargain! I want to scream up at her.


    ¡°Please.¡± Is all I whisper.


    Her hand tightens, pain begins to flair at the roots of my hair.


    ¡°Thendra!¡± I hiss, both at the sudden pain and my despair at the possibilities of her plans.


    Her eyes narrow. The¡­ silence of her anger shocks me to my core. Bleeds my courage.


    I squeeze my eyes shut. I chide myself, rationalize my submission. She won¡¯t talk here. Doesn¡¯t want to be overheard. The Matron was lying, trying to fuck up our¡­ whatever. Just¡­ trust her! Finish reading this last scroll!


    ¡°Yes. Second is done.¡± I whisper.


    She releases my hair, but doesn¡¯t step back.


    I take a deep steadying breath and turn to the third scroll. The smell of the Fae-Woods exude from the parchment, just like the first scroll, but unlike it this one is small and holds only a single painting. Its ink dried to blackness with little flecks of multiple shades of purple. At first I think it¡¯s the night sky, but then I see the silhouettes impaled and wrent on a spire of faded crimson beneath the weight of all that pitch.


    They are still alive, and seem to wail at their torment. But¡­ no. They''re pleading to the darkness above.


    I shudder, close the scroll as the meaning seeps into me. Something... something that cracks and shifts and settles deep into me like no other word could.


    What a cruel and wonderful promise¡­ That one day the Dead Dreamer will awaken, and end the nightmare.

 Chapter 11: Broken and Bound

    Content Warning:


    -Fear of abuse


    -Suicide ideation/suggestion of accepting it


    -Manipulation from an abuser to make another feel small and unworthy of love.


    -mental breakdown ending in a very low sense of self-worth.


    -a bit of blood and wounds


    I lean against the edge of the bed while Thendra looms over me. Thrumming with anger and barely controlled violence.


    Only the most basic instructions had come from her since I¡¯d finished the third scroll and we left the Matron¡¯s library. I¡¯d not said a word, had avoided even looking into her eyes. Voe tried to catch Thendra¡¯s attention on the way out. Tried to apologize for her Grandmother¡¯s¡­ intrusion, but Thendra silenced her with a light growl and a glare.


    I wrap my arms around myself, trying to stop my shaking.


    I know what she wants me to tell her. Know that all she has to do is speak a command and I¡¯ll be forced to sing all of my new words.


    And that terrifies me. Because while I did learn words that would immerse me in a bubbling fantasy I always wanted, I also learned the three words Thendra wanted.


    Fear, Pain, and Spite. From that evil journal, and my own experiences, I now held the perfect brew that could be used to boil me alive. A song that could rival my curse at full strength, and could be directed onto my own body and soul. But it¡¯s also something I can turn on her, on anyone! Could even¡­


    A curse made in Fae-song, with full understanding of those three words¡­ I shudder at the thought.


    She knows this too, and I think that¡¯s the only reason she hasn¡¯t begun to hurt me.


    So we stand in silence.


    Thendra could probably stand waiting until the dreamer herself awakens, but me¡­ I¡¯m barely holding on. On the verge of breaking down into pleading sobs¡­ Begging her to not hurt me. Not to sell me. To just keep to our bargain!


    But I hold onto a little resolve. I won¡¯t let her remove my curse and hurt Undreka. At the very least I¡¯ll make her choose between us. I won¡¯t let my sacrifices be for nothing!


    She surprises me by breaking the silence.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    I jerk up at the sound, ready for a command leading to my immense pain. Knowing she would and could make me drop to the floor in writhing screaming agony that could go on for hours if she so wanted.


    ¡°I¡­ what?¡± I look away, her Jade eyes too intense and angry for me to bear. ¡°Why what?¡±


    ¡°Why do you care if Undreka lives or dies?¡± She growls.


    ¡°She¡­ she¡¯s my friend.¡± I mumble.


    After I refuse to offer more, we fall back into tense silence for another minute.


    ¡°You make no sense, little Fae.¡± Thendra growls, even more anger bubbling through. ¡°You could only have known her for a week. You did not feed on her, or be fed upon yourself. Her scent was barely even on your flesh.¡±


    ¡°Why does this matter?¡± I murmur, ¡°Just¡­ keep to our bargain. Leave that curse alone.¡±


    A hand shoots out and snatches up my chin, yanks me to meet her gaze.


    ¡°You lied to me!¡± She growls, nearly shouting.


    The sudden physical grapple does make me twitch, but it¡¯s the question that fuddles my thoughts.


    ¡°Wh-- What?¡±


    ¡°You know how to break your curses.¡±


    ¡°What? No!¡± I carefully wrap a hand around her wrist to support my weight as she begins to lift me. ¡°Why would I still be here if I did?¡±


    She growls, drops me. I don¡¯t release her.


    ¡°Thendra!¡± I beg then, just a little. ¡°Just¡­ Leave it. Leave her. Please!¡±


    ¡°Then tell me why.¡± Jade eyes bore into me. ¡°What did she offer you to save her?¡±


    ¡°Nothing!¡±


    ¡°THEN WHY!?!¡±


    ¡°BECAUSE I WAS ALONE!!!¡± I scream up at her, resolve finally breaking. ¡°And I wanted her to be more than just my friend. But¡­ she pushed me away! Was so¡­ disgusted by my desire for... for her.¡±


    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    Thendra doesn¡¯t reply, just¡­ stares down at me. Expression suddenly very blank. I look away, shame beginning to bubble up and engulf the sudden anger.


    ¡°No one else was ever supposed to enter the Dreamer¡¯s Wood.¡± I whisper, all my anger and fury melted away as I admit to these things. ¡°She was the first person I¡¯d seen since¡­ Since my mother. Almost Twelve Years, Thendra. I was in those woods and never spoke with another person. I... I couldn¡¯t be alone again.¡±


    A long growl rumbles between us, ¡°Undreka is not worth this.¡±


    ¡°She was kind to me.¡± I reclaim a sudden spike of courage, and before I can stop my mouth it¡¯s biting back, ¡°She never tortured me. Never¨C¡± I clamp my mouth shut. Brace for pain.


    But¡­ instead I feel the bed shift beside me. Fingers begin to move through my hair. Gentle caresses.


    ¡°She would have done worse.¡± Thendra murmurs through a purr as she sits beside me.


    I jerk my head to stare. ¡°You were going to torture and kill her. And you expect me to believe¡­¡±


    I trail off, realizing the possibility. That she was just¡­ another Reaver?


    ¡°She¡¯s done that and worse.¡± Thendra rumbles, almost as if she hears my thoughts. ¡°She reacted to your desires much like I did when I thought you wanted to feed on me.¡±


    ¡°No. I won¡¯t believe that!¡± I turn, her hand adjusts and continues its slow work. ¡°Didn¡¯t even want me to try and sing to help her heal. She¨C¡±


    Thendra shrugs, ¡°A mature Fae is¡­ not something most Reaver¡¯s can match. But make no mistake, Lyra, once she discovered your youth and weakness, your desires and willingness to give yourself to her. She would have eaten you whole.¡±


    ¡°No¡­¡± I shake. ¡°You''re wrong.¡±


    ¡°Or¡­ maybe she would have kept you, much like I am.¡± She sighs, ¡°But unlike me, when you would resist, she would have no recourse but to just¡­¡±


    She lets that trail for a few minutes. Kill me.


    ¡°Undreka is¡­ ambitious.¡± Thendra growls, ¡°She might return one day. Seek to challenge me for control of these Reavers.¡±


    She looks to me.


    I shake my head. ¡°Even if I could break the Lament, which I can¡¯t, I won¡¯t let you hunt her again. Not on what ifs and maybes.¡±


    She sighs, ¡°She killed one of us, Lyra. Tore one of the Reaver¡¯s Amwella out while they slept. I cannot be hobbled if she returns with strength and allies.¡±


    I turn, consider this. ¡°What if¡­ what if she is returning to free me? You expect me to help you kill her?¡±


    I expect rage at my suggestion of freedom, tense up for it.


    ¡°She was a Reaver, Lyra. If she returns, it will not be to free you, but to claim you.¡± A chuckle without mirth rolls out, ¡°What would you have for her except Amwella? When she discovers your songs bound?¡±


    That sends cold shivers down my spine. She¡­ would Undreka really¡­?


    Slowly, and very very gently, Thendra reaches around to cup my cheek. Turns me to face her.


    ¡°Tell me something,¡± She purrs. ¡°Do you truly desire to leave this place? To go back to the forest?¡±


    Of course I do! Part of me screams. But¡­ I hesitate as I imagine it. As I picture my home and the forest songs and¡­ how alone I would be. How I¡¯d probably never see anyone ever again.


    ¡°No.¡± I whisper. ¡°I just¡­ I don¡¯t want¡­ Don''t want to be a... a....¡±


    I can''t say the word, it just... clogs my throat like I''m choking.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, little Fae. But that is the price you must pay.¡± She bores horrible truth into my soul. ¡°Your kind will not have you, and all others will scorn you or ravage you.¡±


    My lip trembles, eyes begin to overflow with tears. She¡¯s right. I¡¯m just¡­ hated by this life.


    ¡°Not you though?¡± I try to hiss. Catching a glimpse of her intent... Of the trap she¡¯s leading me into. But... it just comes out as a small and broken flailing attempt.


    ¡°If you desire an end, you have but to ask.¡± She purrs, ¡°I will make it sweat and painless. Death in my embrace as I devour your Amwella entire. Let you sing as your final breath leaves your lungs.¡±


    I squeeze my eyes shut. The last painting from today fills my mind''s eye, causing a war within myself at her offer. A desire to just¡­ not be. To end my part in this wretched dream.


    ¡°But while you still live I offer you pleasure and purpose. As long as I draw breath the only pain you¡¯ll feel will be at my hand. And I have told you the conditions of it.¡±


    I open my eyes, barely able to meet hers through the tears. ¡°If¡­ if we discover how to remove the curses. Will¡­ will you give me back my songs? I¡¯ll still¡­ I¡¯ll still be yours! Just¨C¡±


    Her expression breaks me. I know the answer from the heavy stare.


    Never.


    ¡°Please.¡± I beg. ¡°Just¡­ promise me that. I¡¯ll be yours forever. Give you EVERYTHING I am. Just¨C¡±


    Choose, Lyra. Freedom in death, or¨C


    ¡°Please!¡±


    You don¡¯t get any other options. Don¡¯t deserve them. Just accept the little pleasures she offers.


    I dissolve into a weeping mess, but Thendra doesn¡¯t let me pull away. I sink talons into her hands. Begin to gnash and wail and scream at her unspoken replies.


    Just a tool. Flesh and soul to be used and eaten.


    ¡°Ask.¡± She purrs.


    All you deserve.


    ¡°LET ME SING!¡± I Scream.


    She does, and every single horrible Fae word I learned today is included in the agony of it.


    *     *     *


    ¡°Stop.¡± Thendra chokes out, pain plain in her voice.


    My eyes never closed, but only as her command ends my song does the world come back into focus.


    Everything hurts, but¡­ I feel¡­ empty. The agony in my soul lessened to a numbness I can barely feel. Despite the sweat and blood and cuts that now cover so much of my flesh, I feel like a great weight has been lifted. Thendra stares at me, her own flesh marred and cut. My face is still clasped between her hands. I choke on my first breath, and watch as blood and bile splatter across her arms.


    ¡°Bring water and food,¡± Thendra commands, then moves to lift me into her arms. Cradles me like that first day. ¡°No meat or flesh.¡±


    After Thendra helps me wipe away the bloody tears, I see who she was talking to.


    Every single Reaver stands just outside Thendra¡¯s chambers. Tense and ready. It takes me a moment to notice the blood. Starting at where I had been, large gashes claw their way about the room. Some carve grooves and cracks along what would be otherwise perfectly laid flooring.


    Some of the Reavers seem to be¡­ recovering. As if a bloody battle was just waged and some are still using their Amwella stores to recover.


    Did my song do that?


    I glance up to Thendra and watch in horror as large gashes slowly reknit and close across her face and shoulders. With a wobbly hand I touch her cheek, and try to speak, but¡­ only a croaking cough exits my mouth.


    ¡°I am fine,¡± She purrs, without a trace of anger or frustration.


    I barely recall the song. Only know¨C I chose life. To live bound and gagged, despite everything¡­


    Better this than alone.


    Her Reavers don¡¯t leave, just stand watch as Thendra settles me on the bed and ensures I am steady enough to eat. After I devour the pile of food, Thendra has me sing a song of healing.


    When it finishes and I huddle beneath a torn quilt, bow woman approaches. Weapon and arrows close at hand. She begins to speak in the language I can¡¯t understand, but a side glare from Thendra halts her. Forces her to sigh and restart.


    ¡°Is she safe?¡±


    Thendra answers with a purring laugh.


    Bow woman gives her a skeptical, annoyed look.


    ¡°I am broken and bound.¡± I whisper. ¡°I belong to Thendra.¡±


    That surprises the bow woman, but Thendra reaches out and lays a hand on my head.


    ¡°I will train her new songs to be more accurate.¡± She purrs. My eyes drift shut at the touch. ¡°But today is a good day.¡±


    And I can¡¯t help but agree with her. Even after the healing muse I am tired and sore, but¡­ I feel whole. Settled into a place I can accept.


    ¡°I hope you¡¯re certain,¡± She walks past us.


    I open my eyes to see her clutching the shattered remains of a few of those huge arrows. For a second, my heart warms at the idea of Thendra protecting me. Of her deflecting an arrow or¨C


    But¡­ Bow woman returns my stare, and I realize the truth.


    Her attack shattered against my song.

 Chapter 12: Hatred for the Fae

    Content Warning:


    -Suicide ideation


    ¡°Thendra!¡± Voe calls out and moves to intercept us as we enter the Matron¡¯s estate. ¡°Welcome!¡±


    Zitra trails behind, all eyes casually passing over our group. Both wear armor. Glistening black chitin with embellishments of eyes and writhing¡­ things¡­ worked throughout the magnificent pieces. Voe has her short blade holstered, while Zitra simply carries a sort of short cane wrought from a deep purplish wood.


    All of Thendra¡¯s Reavers trail behind us.


    ¡°How¡¯d your eh¡­ preparations go?¡± She spreads her arms and observes my tall dark skinned mistress. Only spares a few eyes for the rest of the group, settles the rest on me.


    ¡°Very very well!¡± Thendra purrs, ¡°Thanks to the research your library provided, we¡¯re more prepared than even your Matron could have hoped.¡±


    I stare straight forward, only occasionally letting my eyes settle on any one person or thing. Waiting for a command, ready to act without thought. Voe and Zitra, three servants. Fourteen passages. Will be heading down number 9 into a deep large chamber unless there is a last minute change.


    Zitra¡¯s face eyes focus on me. She pauses. I barely feel the smothering pressure of her gaze.


    ¡°I¡¯m glad to hear it.¡± Voe''s voice drops low, she steps a smidge closer. I let my focus drift to her. ¡°Honestly, grandmama is still a little¡­ annoyed the entire affair. But if you bring good news after all that happened¡­¡±


    Voe¡¯s face eyes finally drift to me, and I let annoyance reinforce me as I am under the weight of two of the Matron¡¯s kin. Their focus could¡­ hamper my songs, but not enough that I couldn¡¯t weave something nasty to inflict on them. I let a twitch tweak the edge of my lips as our eyes meet. One of Voe¡¯s eyestalks pull back from me, Zitra remains static and controlled. But¡­ I swear I notice her grip that stick just a little tighter.


    ¡°Lyra will prove to be more valuable than Undreka.¡± Thendra places a hand on my head, I resist the urge to just¡­ lean into it.


    Time for that later, focus!


    ¡°Really?¡± Voe¡¯s face eyes slide back up to Thendra, ¡°In¡­ such a short amount of time?¡±


    Thendra just purrs through a chuckle, then asks. ¡°Are you here to escort us to the gathering? Or should we wait for another?¡±


    Voe sighs dramatically. ¡°Of course I am! Do you think I¡¯d enjoy trying to entertain any of the other absolute bores involved in this?¡±


    She and Zitra turn, and we are led down a long wide passage. Amidst Voe¡¯s bleating attempts at conversation, Thendra glances down at me and quirks an eyebrow in silent question. Any trouble with two of the Matron¡¯s kin gazes upon you? I let myself smile, give a slight turn of my head. Barely a shake. No.


    She¡¯d spent the past two weeks training me for this. It felt like so much longer since I¡¯d just¡­ accepted what I was. Embraced that I was happier as a slave than I ever was free.


    Thendra, 4 Reavers, and myself had ventured through some old deep tunnels out into the desert. Camped in a cavern system between two ravines. There, we had begun to test the limits of my songs.


    I''d wept, vomited, and sweat blood. But after three days I could call upon them without flinching or hesitating. It had been hard, especially at first, but Thendra was good at spotting old habits and forcing me to break them. She was also a very good teacher.


    I learned that the desert is¡­ just kind of a forest. With tons of life hiding just outside of view. Thendra let me spend hours between resting to sing and commune with the strange little bugs, weird spiky plants, and twelve headed snake things that rolled through the tunnels. They all shared such interesting songs with me. I was sad to sing my goodbyes when the time came to leave. I begged Thendra to take me back someday, and while she didn¡¯t promise anything, I think she¡¯s just wanting to surprise me when the venture is done.


    It wasn¡¯t until that last night within the caverns I had the courage to tell Thendra the bad news though.


    ¡°I think those words are killing me.¡± I hum, a single hand splayed across her chest as my legs curl around the side of her head, toes enjoying the cold stonewall of the cavern. She¡¯d just finished holding me above her face while she laid back. Spent an hour just¡­ slowly teasing little shuttering things out of me while nibbling on my Amwella. The black tinting at the tips of my fingers is just beginning to pass the end of the nails. They¡­ they don¡¯t hurt. Are just a little numb.


    I wasn¡¯t afraid of death, I just¡­ didn¡¯t want to disappoint her. But¡­ she needs to know. I¡¯m hers after all.


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    Thendra makes a rumbling noise, meets my eyes.


    I shrug, tracing my finger over her skin, ¡°Just¡­ feels like death. Those words are¡­ Most Fae don¡¯t sing those things I think. Don¡¯t train to use them the way you want me to.¡±


    No reply. She seems¡­ unconcerned? Or is she just considering it? Did she already think this might happen?


    That drains any worry about it away.


    ¡°Just wanted to make sure you knew.¡± I move to snuggle closer, place kisses on her belly before yawning without any worry inside or out.


    Just so long as I¡¯m hers, I don¡¯t care when I die. Although¡­ her offer to die during sex and song does sound so perfect.


    We leave the long hallway, and enter a big chamber with about ten people milling about, with about half that number of servants carrying trays of food and drink to the various guests.


    All heads and most eyestalks turn to us as we enter. Our group almost doubles the number of people. I begin to catalog little details Thendra might use to call out targets. Matron, four of her kin including Zitra and Voe. Seven distinct individuals, armed with either sword or staff. As we move forward, Voe and Zitra pull ahead.


    ¡°Greetings all!¡± Voe calls out, ¡°I know most everyone here has met everyone else, but in case you¡¯ve forgotten or ignored, This is Thendra, and her Reavers.¡±


    There is a pause, nods of acknowledgements, some turn back to prior conversations. A few move to approach.


    The first is a short woman, long twisting horns covering one side of her face and head. She¡¯s wearing heavy dull iron armor and shoulders a long bladed¡­. Thing.


    ¡°Bulderii!¡± She rumbles, voice rough and coarse.


    Bow woman, who I discovered was named Bulderii, glances over to Thendra. Once she nods, Bulderii answers the call with a smile and heads over to clasp hands and speak. A few others Reavers follow, five disperse and head toward the larger group.


    The second moves slower, and stops to greet Voe and Zitra, but¡­ doesn¡¯t take their dull cerulean eyes off me.


    I ignore them at first, simply keep them cataloged. There is no weight under it, and they bear no obvious weapons. Wearing a simple red tunic with a black sash. Hair is a rough and dirty brown, skin on the paler side. A few petty jewels on their ears and nose. A perfect balance between subtle masculine and feminine traits.


    ¡°Have you met Thendra, Adonie?¡± Voe asks as she leads them to the group.


    They flick a glance to Thendra, giving her a polite nod. ¡°Only once, and it was in passing.¡±


    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± Thendra purrs, ¡°Was it during that business with Yeklan?¡±


    ¡°No, but where is of little import.¡± Their face remains impassive, but their eyes seem to burn with something¡­ some emotion I¡¯m not¡­


    ¡°You tried to have me skewered.¡±


    Eyes are back on me. I meet them to find¡­ anger? ...Why?


    "It must not have been since I don¡¯t remember a contract or quota going unfulfilled.¡± Thendra laughs. ¡°I¡¯ll not apologize!"


    Do they hate Fae? What I am is probably no secret among this group.


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t, I was just passing through at a bad moment. No harm came to me.¡±


    ¡°Ah, you saw my Reavers at their worst then.¡± Thendra¡¯s voice betrays no anger, ¡°But I can¡¯t help but notice your¡­ disinterest in my words.¡±


    That shocks them from what had become a very obvious focus on me.


    ¡°Quite right.¡± They tear their eyes from me and give Thendra a polite bow. ¡°My apologies, I just didn¡¯t expect anyone but the Matron to bring a¡­um¡­¡±


    They avoid the word. Slave.


    My light attire makes it obvious. I wear them with pride, with every motion and warm breeze I am reminded of my role. And the pleasure it brings me. But¡­ they cared nothing for my body. Have eyes only for my face. Subtle anger¡­ at me. Specifically. Some at Thendra now.


    ¡°Oh, she¡¯s¡­ of no importance to the overall goal.¡± Voe supplies. ¡°Just¡­ a tool to fill a role found lacking by recent unfortunate circumstances.¡±


    Voe¡¯s comment doesn¡¯t bother me. But this person¡¯s eyes¡­ I know them. But from where?


    ¡°Consider my curiosity peaked.¡± Their eyes dart to me again, just for a split second.


    ¡°You take interest in my little Fae.¡± Thendra purrs, eyes Voe. ¡°You¡¯d not be the first, probably won¡¯t be the last.¡±


    Adonie''s lips purse, ever so slightly. I try to turn my attention back to the room while my mind tries to place how I know them. From my time with humans? No¡­ Someone I saw in the few outings I¡¯ve had with Thendra? No, none have made enough of an impression to quirk my memories here.


    ¡°A Fae?¡± They don¡¯t seem surprised. ¡°Bound to you? Where did you find such a... rare opportunity?¡±


    Thendra grins, places a hand on my head. ¡°It¡¯s not a tale I believe could be told in the short time before the Matron finishes that drink of hers and begins.¡±


    They glance back over their shoulder to see the group gathering as the Matron heads toward the center of the room. ¡°Quite¡­ Perhaps I could get the story once this is all done? At least the short of it?¡±


    Thendra tilts her head, ¡°What interest is my Lyra to you? She is not for sale.¡±


    They turn, and walk with Thendra as we join the larger gathering. But I swear I see a tightening of their neck muscles at her words. Something... something there seems to have solidified their anger.


    They shrug, fail at nonchalance. ¡°Fae are an interest in some studies of mine.¡±


    Thendra just rumbles a purr of consideration at their words. ¡°What are those?¡±


    ¡°Archaeology, but¡­ only the most ancient. Including Fae, but mostly Rorliras. It¡¯s why the Matron contacted me so late in her plans. Wanted an expert on the site to verify certain maps and markers. Rorliras tunnels can be very tricky to navigate as they weave between rifts.¡±


    ¡°Then her location will be of little use to your studies,¡± Thendra chuckles, ¡°She was barely raised by the Fae. Abandoned only a few weeks after her change.¡±


    That still stings, but Thendra¡¯s casual words combined with my own focus on the gathering threats dulls it.


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± They purse their lips, allowing the anger of their eyes to melt down over the rest of their face as annoyance. ¡°Shame.¡±


    The Matron speaks up, welcomes all the guests and eventually begins to go over plans everyone here should already know. A large wheeled table is carted in. Stacked with maps and books and various other things I don¡¯t even begin to care about. And then the group gathers around and begins combing over a meticulous plan to enter and raid some place. A few questions or remarks are added. I don¡¯t follow along. Thendra handles these things. But¡­ Adonie keeps glancing over at me every few minutes. Thendra told them how useless my past is to them, so why are they still so focused on me? Why is that anger¨C


    ¡°Adonie?¡± The Matron directs at them. ¡°Can you verify this juncture here is correct?¡±


    Without even looking back, Adonie gives a slightly exasperated reply. ¡°Yes, you can tell you have the path correct by the third¡­¡±


    I ignore the rest as their suddenly very slight shift in tone taps at something in my memories. The¡­ flow of it. It had a subtle melody there. Almost a slight rhythm that would convey¨C


    ¡°Wonderful! Thank you Adonie.¡± And she means it. Earlier annoyance and anticipation seem to have melted into a satisfied confidence at their words.


    Fae-Song? Did¡­ did they just sing?

 Chapter 13: Butchered by Flesh Eaters

    CONTENT WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    This chapter contains a Soul/Amwella/sexual assault.


    So... Why write this at all? Why did I include this? Why did I write out a SA instead of just skipping over it and picking up with Lyra after the fact?


    Well... This story is first and foremost, for me. I have my own shit to work through. My stories help me do that. And... I think I''d hate myself more if I didn''t include something that I know happens to Lyra in her story.


    I also want to state here that this is not meant to glorify or sexualize the experience. Regardless of the rules of Amwella feeding. If anything... that makes it worse. Not all assaults are 100% pain, sometimes your lured into... into... thinking its okay since parts of it feel good.


    I''ll also provide another bold STARTS HERE and ENDS HERE for those who want to read the rest but avoid it. There is a full chapter here and the event is just a piece. You could even skip this chapter entirely, just knowing that the above happens provides a key element of this story.


    That Thendra lied, <u>again</u>.


    No matter what PLEASE take care of yourselves. I know this story isn''t a happy one right now. That it truly is an outlet for my own fucked up soul''s damaged parts, and know that isn''t always good for others to digest.


    Regardless.... I Love you all. And thanks for reading and supporting my works!


    CONTENT WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    The words continue, but I miss all the rest as I am lost in a spiral of questions.


    If¡­ if they are Fae, then¡­ Why are they here? Why are they working with these people¡­ these flesh eating monsters?


    I take a second to reassess their form and attire. Very dull, faint smell of the books and the desert. Not even a hint of the forest. Am I wrong? Do they just¡­ know some Fae song? Can somehow weave complex silent magics?


    Do I warn Thendra?


    I glance about, but with how everyone is crowded around the table I¡¯ll draw all attention to myself. And I could be wrong. I was never fully taught the Fae tongues, so I could just be hearing and seeing things.


    I sigh. Just¡­ ignore them. Focus.


    So I do¡­ I spend the rest of the gathering watching the different members and keeping ready in case of a sudden emergency or command. It takes hours, and Adonie doesn¡¯t stop stealing glances at me. All the same. Boiling anger as they try to read¡­ something in my own eyes. I know they know I know what they¡¯re doing, but eventually I just lose patience with it all and stop even trying to understand them.


    Then the meeting is over, and people are paying final respects to each other and the Matron. I¡¯m mostly ignored as Thendra speaks with the Matron. There are thanks given for assisting in locating and guarding the Rorliras a few months back. They speak of the Reavers'' importance to the main thrust of things, and only once am I even mentioned.


    ¡°And what is your Fae¡¯s role?¡± The Matron asks politely, only a single eyestalk lazily wafts over me.


    Thendra lays a hand on my head again, ¡°She will help us subdue, or even ignore, a large portion of any guardians. Might be able to guide us if certain paths become blocked.¡±


    The Matron raises an eyebrow, but doesn¡¯t ask anything else.


    As we leave, Adonie is still just¡­ staring. Anger finally boiled enough to break their impassive mask. That glare spoils what would have been a peaceful walk home. Thendra¡¯s promise burns through my mind¡­ All others will scorn you or ravage you.


    She was right, of course. Thendra¡¯s right about everything¡­


    Back at home all the Reavers gather in that main entry hall to drink and go over things. I¡¯m¡­ not really interested, or useful here, so I just¡­ relax against Thendra and begin to doze off. That last painting dances in my mind. The silent melody of the¨C


    ¡°That leads us to your first part in this, Lyra.¡±


    Eyelids flutter open, I¡¯m laying on the fluffy chair with my head on Thendra¡¯s lap. Her hand still tangled through my hair.


    ¡°Hmm?¡± I murmur, rolling to stare up at her.


    ¡°I need to ensure all Reavers have enough Amwella to perform their tasks and recover quickly if they become injured.¡±


    I blink. Waiting for her to explain.


    ¡°You¡¯ll spend this night with three others, allowing them to consume large portions of your Amwella.¡± She doesn¡¯t stop her hand motions, but they become¡­ more controlled. Less casual.


    Sex with¡­ With other Reavers? Not with Thendra?


    ¡°Do you understand what I¡¯m telling you to do?¡±


    No.


    ¡°Yes.¡± Is my immediate reply.


    The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    But¡­ I¡¯m hers? She¡¯s¡­ I¡¯m not supposed to¡­ Only she¡¯s supposed to consume that part of me.


    She stares down at me, nods, then looks up to continue talking with the others.


    It¡¯ll feel good, it has to! Your body and Amwella are hers, and she needs you to share some of yourself with her Reavers. The conversation continues without me, and I roll over to stare out into nothing. Lazy energy drained like blood from an open wound. This is what she promised you. Pleasure and purpose.


    Later that night, Thendra walks me past her chambers to another room where three Reavers lounge on their bed in silent muffled conversation. All three women turn as we arrive, and I can¡¯t help but freeze in the doorway. Everything about this room is wrong. Instead of the smell of books and spices and subtle fruits, the room reeks of cooked flesh and sweat and a little blood. I can¡¯t help but scrunch up my nose at it all. One of the women rises, approaches slowly.


    Thendra places a hand on the back of my head, I can¡¯t help but lean into it, retreat in sudden cold fear from¨C


    She nudges me forward.


    ¡°Lyra, you know Hundat.¡± Thendra purrs.


    She¡¯s right, she was one of the women who came with us during my training. I¡­ we only talked a little. Mostly just¡­ helped in sparing or kept watch.


    ¡°She is only shy,¡± Hundat murmurs as she reaches us, holding out a hand to me. ¡°Come.¡±


    Thendra nudges me forward again, this time with a little more force. I obey the silent command on reflex, stepping from her touch and giving Hundat my hand. It¡¯s only as we reach the bed that I reconsider things and glance back.


    Thendra is already gone.


    Hundat helps me pull me up onto the large bed. Once there I almost try to sit alone, a fourth corner of the group, but Hundat pulls me into herself. I end up in front of her, facing away, her legs and arms wrapping around me. Her warmth thrums against me, and I¡¯m reminded of that first night with Thendra. How she slowly and carefully lured me back into her arms. I begin to relax, almost lean¨C


    STARTS HERE


    But then her teeth are at my neck, one hand pushing my arms aside to clasp at my breasts while another begins to wander down. I squeeze my eyes shut. Just¡­ pretend she¡¯s Thendra. In a way she is! Big and warm, and she kinda belongs to her. Is an extension of her. She won¡¯t hurt you, can¡¯t if she wants to get a ¡®clean¡¯ bite at your Amwella!


    It helps, and as her fingers slide over my underthing, begin to rub and carve against the moistening cloth. I can¡¯t hold back a whimper of pleasure as her teeth graze across my neck, as Hundat slowly brings the heat gathering between my legs to a boil, and soon she¡¯s melted me into a little shuddering shaking orgasm. Like always my senses flip to watch as her Amwella curls around mine, grows little teeth and¨C


    It hurts. Oh¡­ it¡¯s not supposed to hurt this much.


    I gasp, half in pain, half in pleasure as she rips and tears such a large piece off of my soul. Larger than Thendra ever tried to take in a single bite. Where I¡¯d normally lose little tendrils that flail and wiggle off the ends, Hundat consumes what feels like a fourth of my core. I slump, choking and gasping as warmth causes my hips to quiver. I¡­ I¡¯d normally already be wiggling up against Thendra for more, but¡­ The cold ache at my core distracts from the afterglow and rising warmth.


    Suddenly I feel a large hand grip my ankle and pull me across the bed. I can¡¯t stop a yelp as the second Reaver drags me up to herself. Lifting lifting, my hips are drawn up and up. Next thing I know I¡¯m sort of slumped upside down against her with my legs hanging over me, spread out and dangling. Then something rips and tears what¡¯s left of my soaked underthing away, Warm lips and sharp teeth mushes down into everything between my legs. She¡¯s¡­ well she¡¯s not even trying to take it slow. But with tongues so big she kinda just¡­ hits everything at once. I twitch and squirm, still sensitive from Hundat¡¯s work, but strong warm arms hold me. The cold fades a bit, warm growing heat begins to¨C


    She presses into me, breaks through me, wriggles deep. I cry out, both in pain and pleasure as she begins to swirl her tongue inside me.


    That¡¯s just Thendra. I lie to myself. She¡¯s just¡­ being rough tonight. It¡¯s amazing. Just enjoy it!


    So I do. Wriggling and moaning and twisting up closer into her. Trying to get her to go deeper, faster, harder. Building and building to the deeper orgasm that such intense tongue fucking normally brings me. The bite she takes during my shuddering shivering orgasm hurts more than the first. Teeth tearing away a piece bigger than even Hundat had. She drops me with no hesitation while my body is still rocking from spasms of pain and pleasure. I can¡¯t help but curl around my core and focus in horror on my soul. It¡¯s¡­ I¡¯ve never seen it bleed! Never in all my time under Thendra¡¯s care have I¨C


    The third woman crawls atop me, and I almost cry out, try to push her away as I try to understand what¡¯s happening. Consider if¡­ If maybe she would just¡­ not. If I could¡­


    But unlike the others, she pauses, takes my chin between two fingers and turns me to look into her deep maroon eyes.


    I freeze, ¡°Um¡­ can¡­ can we slow down for¨C¡±


    She pulls me into a kiss, slow and warm and¡­ I almost vomit as she pulls away, trying to covertly spit as her lips and teeth wander to my neck. Her breath was all flesh and blood and¡­ rank. A growl rumbles through her, nothing as terrible as Thendra can aim at me. But¡­ but it¡¯s not a kind thing. I¡­ I think she¡¯d annoyed I¨C


    Then her fingers are at my cunt and clit while teeth clamp onto a breast. I yelp at the sudden pain of her rough work. But¡­ Despite my previous cold and fear at her rising aggression, I can¡¯t stop the growing pressure between my legs. Dreamers Tit¡¯s! I¡¯m too sensitive. Even now the pain just warms me back up. I even end up¡­ almost, pleading once during a whimper. With rough hands and sharp teeth she forces me to bubble up and explode. My climax hits, and her soul clamps its teeth around the biggest chunk of my Amwella of the three, and rips it off in a sudden angry jerk. Leaves my Amwella weeping soulfire and so so small. The warmth cracks and shatters almost immediately, and I¡¯m left with nothing but shuddering cold aches.


    I press my palms into my eyes and grind my teeth in agony as soon as she crawls over and past me. It¡¯s nothing like my Lament or Fae words of Pain and Spite¡­ to compare them is silly. Those pains are real and solid and I can heal them with a song. The pain I normally feel from Thendra¡¯s feeding is¡­ nothing. Pleasant even. The sensation of sharing a sensitive part of myself with her is¡­ well¡­ it makes the sex even better!


    But this¡­ I am left with a quivering bleeding cold ache deep inside me. I feel so broken and torn apart. I turn, curl on myself, and stifle the sobs before they can reach my mouth.


    Stop it!


    This is what you wanted! Pleasure is better than loneliness. You¡¯d take this if Thendra was the one doing it.


    STOP IT!


    ENDS HERE


    I eventually must pass into unconscious oblivion, because next I open my eyes the room is dark. A heavy quilt has been pulled over me, and when I roll to check all three women are asleep about the other side. Their legs and arms seem to twist and pull around each other, while I am at the foot of the bed.


    Without conscious thought or plan, I silently push the blanket aside and roll to drop to the floor. I stumble, surprised and not used to such sore legs and breasts and crotch. Normally Thendra would always have me sing a little song of healing before we collapsed into sleep. I rise though, and quietly exit their chamber and head down the hallway to the room I call home.


    But I freeze in the doorway as I spot a second mound of person lying amidst the quilts and covers beside Thendra.


    But¡­ that¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s supposed to be me.


    I bite my lower lip, hard. Taste blood as I drown the sob I feel preparing to overtake me. I¡­ I consider crawling into the bed anyway. Thendra¡¯s words that she¡¯d always want me to ask for release echoing in my mind. But next thing I know I¡¯m in the middle of the stairs, face smushed into the lower part of the open window.


    ¡°May I sing¡± I whisper


    But Thendra¡¯s not here. She¡¯s still asleep with¨C


    ¡°Please,¡± I beg, trying desperately to drown out the shattering and horrible pain these Dreamer Blighted monsters inflicted on my Fae flesh and soul.


    She¡¯s not yours, little slave.


    ¡°May I sing!?!?¡±


    One last piece to break. One last bastion of happiness and hope to get butchered by these flesh eaters.


    ¡°Let me sing!¡± I wheeze through clenched teeth.


    Sing then.


    I do, and it almost kills me. The song is a quiet thing. Barely a low hum. If I¡¯d tried something bigger I¡¯m certain my Amwella core would have torn under the curses sting. It bites and tears and jerks at my little wounded soul. But this pain is nothing to the shattering in my heart and the cold ache I smother and strangle.


    By the time I end it I¡¯m still slumped onto the floor beneath the stairwell¡¯s window. Knees splayed beneath and beside me, head rolled back to rest against the cold stone as I stare up at the dark ceiling. The song fades, and I allow the sweet embrace of sleep to consume me.

 Chapter 14: To Spite the Rorliras

    Content warning:


    -suicide ideation


    -thoughts and descriptions of post assault trauma and memories of it.


    ¡°We¡¯ll be activating the main runes in less than ten minutes Thendra!¡± Voe turns, all serious focus as she regards my mistress. ¡°Be sure your Reavers are in a position to enter first and deal with anything.¡±


    The same chamber we¡¯d met up with a week ago is now dominated by a giant¡­ thing, in its center. It looks like one of the seashells my mother had shown me, all twisting and marbled white against the dark brimstone of the Matron¡¯s chamber. But its curves and twists are all wrong, and hurt the eye and mind when I stare too long.


    ¡°I know my task,¡± Thendra purrs, resting a hand on my head. ¡°Just make sure the way is clear for us to Reave all in our path.


    I lean into her touch, even let my eyes flutter shut for a second. Thendra has to notice the little rumble I let silently echo up through my chest.


    She¡¯s fed me to her Reavers every other night since the first. Let them tear into my core and consume almost everything I have. I know why now, I can see the difference in their souls. They¡¯ve not grown bigger, but little slivers of dense vibrant color sparkle and enhance them. The women seem¡­ more¡­ somehow. Eyes seem to glow with extra light, seem to stand taller and move quicker and with more confidence.


    The opposite is true for me.


    Every morning after every feeding, Thendra would find me in that stairwell. At first I was terrified she would be angry, but she just¡­ carried me back up to her chambers and tucked me into sleep the day away. Let my Amwella core restore itself to full before repeating it all.


    I don¡¯t think she knows about my singing afterwards. I almost told her a few times. Almost begged her to just¡­ end me with sex amidst song instead of continuing this. But¡­ She also given me all the sex and pleasure I want between it.


    Between the feedings I am barely a person, a husk. Only alight with energy when it¡¯s Thendra who embraces me. Begging her to just keep going¡­ Once more, once more once more. Please please Ple¨C


    ...Or when I steal a song.


    The black tint on my hands has grown as well. Spreading up to my knuckles in the past week. I showed Thendra, but she doesn¡¯t seem bothered by it. So neither am I.


    Thendra rumbles. A warning for me to pay attention. So I tear myself into alertness and continue to survey the room for possible targets for my songs. The Matron stands with four of her kin, slaves bustling about at their commands. Preparing the big shell for¡­ something. The half face-horn lady stands in her full armor and weapon at the ready with a few other violent looking sorts.


    And Adonie¡­ Hate-filled Dreamer cursed cunt, they stand next to the Matron. Offering advice and council, words still tinted with little lilting sparks of Fae-Song. Eyes reach across the gap to bore into my soul. I hate them. Wish they¡¯d just¡­ stop looking at me! Stop glaring at me with such plain bitter hatred. I want to tell Thendra. Want to¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­ ask her to make them stop. But she has to see it, right? So she doesn¡¯t care.


    So¡­ why do I?


    ¡°Opening in thirty seconds!¡± Voe shouts.


    Deep breath. Focus.


    Old words are spoken, the air thumbs with¡­ something. An echo of¨C


    Then the hole that leads into the giant shell shimmers, and a rift swirls into focus. Beyond it are pearlescent winding pathways that twist and weave in all directions. The floors and walls are¡­ wrong. Circular and edged and swirling. Thendra¡¯s purr of action startles me from the thought, and then we are leading the Reavers into the rift.


    Weight shifts, a pull and bout of vertigo and flush of nausea. Even Thendra stumbles at the change that time, but soon is recovered and supports me with a hand under my arm. Absolute quiet washes over our group.


    There is a purr, a growl of tense anger from behind us. A Reaver speaks in their hushed flowing language. I understand enough of their tongue now to know their meanings. ¡°Where are the others? Where is our exit?¡±


    Thendra growls, low and steady. But even she seems muffled by this place.


    I recover, blink, and look about. Sixteen possible¡­ not twenty possible pathways. There are slips between the winding grooves of the hallway. No threats. Only Thendra and Bulderii stand next to me.


    Bulderii¡¯s bow is ready, an arrow notched. Her eyes roll about in a steady, but confused focus. Thendra doesn¡¯t release me, opposite hand tensed and ready to explode into violence at a moment''s notice.


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    Then the unnatural silence is broken by a reverberation through the grooved walls of the passages. As it passes over me I shudder at¨C


    Fae Song?!?


    While Thendra and Bulderii jerk at the melody, I can¡¯t help but lean into it. Words stirring old memories and scars. Thendra holds me fast, eyes dart between me and the direction of the song as it ends.


    ¡°Lyra?¡± She purrs.


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ that was¡­¡± I stammer. ¡°That was Fae Song.¡±


    She growls. ¡°What did it sing of?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know.¡± I shake my head, focus on getting my balance. ¡°I wasn¡¯t ready for it. Didn¡¯t catch any of the words.¡±


    She considers, looks back to Bulderii.


    Bulderii clicks her teeth, eyes continue to wander. ¡°This is a maze, I think. We either prepare to kill something that sings Fae-Song, or try to find our own way out.¡±


    Then the song returns, low and lilting. A song of worry, a warning of danger, and¡­ and a call to join them?


    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t think whoever is singing wants to hurt us.¡± I murmur. ¡°They¡­ they¡¯re calling for us to join them. Warning of danger.¡±


    Thendra growls, ¡°What danger?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ I think¡­¡± I huff, annoyed at my lack of understanding of my mother¡¯s tongue. Look around at the weird architecture that stings my mind to observe for too long. ¡°We can¡¯t stay here. This place is¡­ it¡¯s not for us.¡±


    ¡°Can you lead us?¡± Thendra glares in the direction of the song, ¡°Be ready to counter any songs they might use?¡±


    Then her Jade eyes turn to bore into me. Are you willing to kill one of your own kind for me?


    I catch sight of my hand against a wall, of the black death that slowly consumes me. Think of the words that cause it. Cold anger sweeps into me, bitter rage at the race that sought to carve the songs from my heart. I give her a smile, disgusting focus dripping from it.


    I would love to try.


    Thendra returns the grin, nods, and we begin to move. The pathways are so very treacherous. They spiral and twist, gaping slits in the floor hidden behind grooves and turns nearly swallow both myself and Bulderii a few times. Thendra ends up keeping a hand hovering at my shoulder after the third time one of my feet steps into open air, nearly sucking me into nauseating depths. Every few turns we have to pause, wait for the song to guide us forward.


    Then, after about an hour of following it, we find only silence. Thendra growls as we pause in a junction. My eyes twist about, trying to consider all possible paths and entrances a threat could come from.


    Forty seven¡­ no¡­ sixty¡­ no! Too many! I huff, and let the annoyance build. Raw emotion ready to split and cleave into one of my three words of torment. Then there is a shimmer in the corner of my eyes, too subtle to pinpoint. I jerk, ready myself for a command from my master. Thendra doesn¡¯t seem to notice it, only shifts at my motion. A question in her eyes, but no hesitation.


    ¡°Sing, fear and pain.¡± She purrs.


    I obey, scream agony and despair into the pathways near the shimmer.


    Black cracks split from the floor from where my feet touch, spread out from my toes and follow the echoes of my song. Fingers go cold, but I don¡¯t stop as I watch the pathways shudder under the¨C


    Then there is a pop, a shift, and my songs reverberate back at me. I only have a second to brace before a deep terror slams into my chest, followed by a tearing across my flesh. Thendra moves to catch me, I think, but my song has to pass over her and Bulderii¡¯s side to return to its origin.


    ¡°Stop!¡± Thendra shouts right before the curse would have punished me.


    I collapse to the floor, writhing in pain and despair. Blood oozes from dozens of fresh wounds to stain the perfectly pearlescent floor. After a few moments, large hands close around my wrists, begin to lift me, and I am laid across Thendra¡¯s shoulders. Blood drips from a few long gashes along her own arms and chest, but they are already closing. I¡¯m barely aware that Bulderii is gone, and her bow lies abandoned by Thendra¡¯s feet. The black cracks are also gone. The pathways stand healed of my petty wrath.


    ¡°I¡¯d not recommend you sing of such horrid things.¡± A voice echoes from all possible directions.


    Thendra growls in challenge, one hand holding me in place while the other is out, ready for violence. ¡°Sing what healing you need.¡± she purrs at me.


    I croak, and begin to obey with wheezing gasps. Songs to heal both body and mind. Words of home and love cause tears to sting my eyes, but otherwise steady my racing panicked thoughts. My healing isn¡¯t instant, but will stop me from losing consciousness. My songs reverberate, wash over us both, as if the pathways wish to create harmony. Thendra silently commands me to stop.


    I choke, have to spit blood and bile.


    ¡°Flesh Eater.¡± The voice returns once my songs have faded. But¡­ I swear I notice another shimmer, and a familiar tune underneath their words. ¡°You trespass on old paths not meant for your kind.¡±


    ¡°Then come and try to cast me out.¡± Thendra purrs.


    A pause.


    ¡°I wish no harm on you,¡± They offer, voice soft and gentle. ¡°I offer to guide you and your scattered pack from this place.¡±


    Thendra pauses at that, glances back to the gaping maw I suspect swallowed Bulderii.


    ¡°They¡¯re not lying.¡± I croak.


    Thendra gives me a side-long look, meets my eyes.


    ¡°They are Fae.¡± I whisper. ¡°Killing is against their nature.¡±


    ¡°Can you stand?¡± She murmurs.


    ¡°Yeah, just¡­ hold me until the songs finish more of their work.¡±


    She lowers me to the floor, keeps an arm under my shoulder for balance.


    ¡°Our benefactor seeks treasure and plunder from this place,¡± Thendra purrs to the voice, ¡°And I am sworn to clear the way. What if we find ourselves at an impasse?¡±


    A sigh in the air, then¡­ ¡°Your¡­ ally, is correct. I will not harm you. But this place is not for your kind. Only those who understand and know its beauty can navigate it.¡±


    ¡°Then we will return, and keep returning until we fulfill our contract. Next time you may find yourself under my mercy.¡± Thendra purrs, ¡°Why not negotiate? Work out a trade with our employer?¡±


    A laugh, all bitter and sad. ¡°That can be arranged.¡±


    Thendra nods, ¡°Lead me and mine to an exit, and we can relay this to her.¡±


    ¡°I demand a boon from you,¡± The voice returns. ¡°A show of penance and payment, a sign of good faith.¡±


    Thendra raises both arms, palms open and empty. ¡°I brought only violence with me.¡±


    ¡°Yes, but also a great deal of suffering.¡± The voice turns¡­ hard. Bitter. ¡°Leave this Fae with me.¡±


    A cold silence. Thendra tenses, I clasp at her muscled arm.


    ¡°She¡¯s not for sale.¡± Thendra growls, fists beginning to clench and stretch.


    ¡°It¡¯s not her life I want, slaver.¡± The voice returns with venom, ¡°It would be her freedom.¡±


    That word¡­ it¡­ it doesn¡¯t register at first. Freedom? What would¡­ What would that look like? What would this Fae want with my freedom?


    Then¡­ something clicks in my memories, finally. The voice, the song, Aldonie¡¯s eyes and glare. I recognize them at last. Know why their anger was so vibrant and familiar.


    I¡¯d seen it before, years ago¡­ when I lost everything.


    ¡°No.¡± I hiss, loud and angry. Would be unleashing a song unbidden if it''s not for Thendra¡¯s hand on me and the still healing spasms of pain.


    A long startled pause is my reply.


    ¡°Keep your freedom. I don¡¯t want it.¡± I nearly scream.


    Thendra doesn¡¯t stop me, doesn¡¯t restrain or punish or even growl as I step forward and shout into the horrid pathways.


    ¡°You drove me from happiness once,¡± I hiss, ¡°I¡¯ll not let you tear it from me again!¡±


    Then I hiss the Fae words at them, tossing them like a curse only they could possibly understand.


    ¡°Beloved sibling.¡±

 Chapter 15: Beloved Sibling

    The silence that answers is so long I almost think they¡¯ve left us. Abandoned us to wander this place until death. My fury doesn¡¯t cool, doesn¡¯t fade, only grows stronger. I chew and gnaw at it, tear at my Amwella, wishing I could just throw all my hatred and sorrow and malice at¡­ at this¡­


    At the sibling who betrayed me. Who forced our Fae mother to cast me away.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± The voices finally returns, soft. ¡°I can¡¯t let you stay with her.¡±


    I¡¯m tempted to hiss a song, curse and reverberations be blighted, but Thendra¡¯s hand on my head stops me. Fingers in my hair restrain my song. ¡°What good are your freedoms, when she will only return to me?¡± A rolling, purring laugh resonates from her.


    Hatred seems to radiate along the crooked curves between us. ¡°Thendra, Reaver of the Thirteen, I know your ways, have witnessed your cruelty. I know not how you ensnared her, but¨C¡±


    ¡°I gave myself to her!¡± I snarl. ¡°Willingly!¡±


    The voice goes soft again. ¡°Regardless of your¡­ desires. I cannot let you carry the songs of our people. Especially not while under the influence of this¨C¡±


    Thendra growls. ¡°Her songs are mine, sold and claimed.¡±


    ¡°They are not hers to give.¡±


    ¡°Then come and take them!¡± Thendra roars, ¡°Let¡¯s see how your tricks work against me.¡± Then she pushes me behind her, and radiates a violence I¡¯d never even thought possible. The pathways beneath us seem to groan under her weight, whine and creak as if unable to withstand her.


    ¡°What? How¡¯re you¨C¡± The voice stammers in disbelief.


    Thendra purrs out a laugh, ¡°She¡¯s fed herself to me for weeks. I¡¯ve watched and listened and learned to move with the Fae songs.¡±


    My anger melts into a dark joy as an idea strikes me. ¡°May I sing?¡± I murmur.


    Without hesitation she purrs, ¡°Sing, so I may slaughter.¡±


    The hum is simple, just an inverse of one of my first songs. I plead with these halls to reveal all hidden things. The melody radiates out, and as it washes back I notice this shimmer of concealment on a pathway to my right. Thendra moves, and I barely catch the glimpse of her careening toward my sibling, a wild thundering strike whirling at their chest.


    Gone is the illusion of normalcy over them. They stand regal and tall, even as they jerk back. Long perfect golden hair and robes of the midday court. Their bright blue eyes go wide in surprise.


    But¡­ Everything is wrong here, we¡¯re pulled sideways and up in little ways by the twisting nature of this place. Thendra¡¯s crackling open palm strike misses by a fraction of an inch. There is a flurry of motion, Fae songs echo through the pathways, and everything tilts and¨C


    I¡¯m falling.


    I try to grasp at the smooth floor as I¡¯m enveloped between their grooves. On pure reflex I keep the song on my lips instead of replacing it with a yelp, but there is a pause in it¡­ a choking that seems to alert Thendra to my plight.


    ¡°Stop!¡± She commands, and my mouth and song clamp shut.


    Then she¡¯s launching at me, fingers outstretched toward¨C


    She misses me by barely a hair as something in her motion is adjusted. I do scream as the floor warps and closes above me, and I fall through glistening pearlescent terror¡­


    What feels like an eternity later, one of the grooves curves, and I¡¯m sliding down the curling walls more than I am falling. But I just keep going. I twist and try to slow, but only manage to knock myself sideways and end up tumbling over a few times. Eventually my slide begins to flatten out, and I¡¯m trying to dig nails into the smooth curving floor to halt myself. I twist and slide halfway up a wall, then tumble down into a heap. It takes me a second to get my bearings, to shake off the dizziness and desire to vomit. But I manage, and rise.


    ¡°Thendra?¡± I whisper.


    How¡­ How far did I fall? I glance around, spot at least fifty two different openings and routes. Can¡¯t even identify which I just fell from.


    ¡°Thendra?¡±


    Deep breaths. Stay calm.


    ¡°Bul¨C Bulderii? Hundat?¡±


    I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m alone again.


    I begin to shudder. Arms wrapping around my barely clothed form. Maybe forever this time.


    ¡°Don¡¯t panic. Stay calm.¡± I grit my teeth. ¡°She won¡¯t leave you here. She¡¯ll come for you.¡±


    I begin to walk, then stop, look around. Should I stay here? Wait for her to come find me? Could¡­ Could I find her? I shake harder. No, I¡­ I shouldn¡¯t. But.. Could a song help me? Could¡­ Could I push through enough of the pain to¨C


    Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    I take a deep breath, prepare to hum a litany at this strange horrible place. To help me find Thendra, to get me home. Gather up Amwella, brace for the pain, and sing. It feels so wrong to do without her command. I fail two or three times the moment the curse needles at me.


    ¡°You did this after the Reaver¡¯s fucked you.¡± I hiss at myself, ¡°You''re fine. Just¡­ do it. Sing. Sing!¡±


    I do, and it stings so hard I collapse to my hands and knees. Weaving a song of pleading, mixing in my mistresse''s name to try and help this place understand what I desire. I end it, spit blood and bile to stain the perfect marbled floor. But¡­ as the song reverberates back I hear a creak, feel a twist in the air, and look up to see one path has grown bigger than the others.


    I grin a bloody smile, rise, and move forward. But hear a shuffle behind me, a twist of air.


    When I jerk around I see my sibling thirty feet back. Their undisguised Fae form seems to glow and hum with the twisting pathways. Wonderfully bright blue scales and twists curl up from their robes. They don¡¯t return my hatred now, not even in their eyes. They just¡­ study me.


    I spit another glob of blood, gather my courage, and level my best glare at them.


    ¡°Please, Lyra.¡± They whisper, holding out a hand to me.


    I back away a few steps, gather my Amwella, and growl Pain and Fear through the Rorliras tunnels. Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits the curse stings hard. Drains so much. Their hand curls on itself, I see¡­ annoyance? No¡­ it¡¯s¨C


    A counter song of peace and soothing ¡­ somethings, whistles from their lips. Our songs meet between us, slam into one another, mix and¡­ disperse. Leaving only my choking gasps to fill the silence and void.


    ¡°Dreamer Cursed Cunt¨C¡±


    A shout makes me jerk my head to the side. Thendra?!?!


    I mindlessly take a few steps toward the sound, yell out. ¡°Thendra! I¡¯m¨C¡±


    A form steps around a groove, and my eyes meet a few dozen. Voe stands startled, eyes casting about. Her gaze''s weight settles on me. Fingers twitch, a cruel amused curiosity begins to bubble behind her horrible eyes and-


    I jerk back, find my sibling gone.


    When I turn back Voe has crossed the distance with her sword drawn. ¡°Where is¨C¡± She doesn¡¯t take her face eyes off me, but lets all others weave about. ¡°Where is your mistress, little slave?¡±


    I bristle, glance at the path I opened. Zitra moves into the same passage in the next second, quickly moves toward us.


    ¡°Thendra!?!¡± Zitra calls out as she moves up past me to look down it.


    Silence is our only reply.


    ¡°Hmmm¡­.¡± Voe clicks her blade against her armor, ¡°She took your songs, not your voice. Answer me.¡±


    ¡°She¡­ she¡¯s on her way. I just¡­¡± I take a step back. She follows, all eyes settling on me. I feel Zitra move to block my retreat.


    Both their gaze''s weight are on me now. If Thendra was here I¡¯d not fear them, would have a horrid song ready to turn them into a mess of gurgling slop. But¡­ with her gone, and this foul place''s tendency to throw my songs back¡­


    ¡°You¡¯ll come with us, little slave.¡± Voe coos, ¡°Our Matron would very much like to speak with you.¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I hiss. Fists clenched as I furiously think of ways to avoid this. To escape. Maybe¡­ maybe I could try my hiding song? Slipping past and trying to find¨C


    Voe giggles, ¡°You think that was a request?¡±


    Like lightning she strikes out and slams the flat of her blade against my thigh. I yelp out in pain and stumble. It didn¡¯t break skin or bone, but my entire leg goes wibbly with the pain of the blow. I glance down to see a purple and angry red bruise already rising.


    Zitra murmurs. ¡°If she won¡¯t cooperate, just let me handle it.¡±


    ¡°Oh, go right ahead!¡± Voe tutters, ¡°I did that for me. But if she won¡¯t walk I¡¯m not carrying her!¡±


    I grit my teeth. Agony and death be blighted, I will drag this cunt screaming from the dream with me!


    ¡°Dreamer blighted bug eyed cunt.¡± I hiss, begin to call up my Amwella.


    That causes them both to pause, surprised.


    ¡°What did you just... Really? You¡¯re¡­¡± Voe stammers, then grins. ¡°OH! I didn¡¯t realize Thendra¡¯s little pillow slave was into pain. Let me supply you with more in her stead!¡±


    ¡°Voe¡­¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Voe giggles, steps after me. ¡°She¡¯s asking for it! Would probably beg if I¨C¡±


    Amwella roils, push through their smothering weights and the curse''s sting. And right before Voe¡¯s chitin boot connects with my face I wail Spite between us.


    An explosion of pain. Blackened Rot seems to claw and writhe around me. Screams of agony as if the air itself is bearing the torment. And for a glorious second I get to watch through bloody tears as the skin on Voe¡¯s face is torn nearly clean off before my wail launches her into the far wall.


    Then an echo of it all repeats back through us and I welcome the oblivion it brings.


    *    *    *


    Warmth envelopes me, curls about my Fae flesh and holds me upright. For the first seconds I¡¯m at peace, thinking I¡¯m in Thendra¡¯s arms. As I awaken her soul and fingers to begin wandering and-


    But then I wriggle, and it tightens around my throat. Squeezes and constricts, just... a big solid mass of scaled something. I snap my eyes open, and I scream in terror as whatever this thing is winds around me tighter.


    I¡¯m in a stone cell, on my knees, bound and wrapped up in some kind of long thick twisting mass. It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s alive?!?!


    I¡¯m unable to look down much, restrained from even seeing what chokes and binds me. ¡°T¨C Thendra!?!¡± I wheeze out.


    Then all the memories chew back into my mind. The horrible place, my sibling, and¡ª Voe and Zitra trying to capture me. My wail of Spite.


    Through the throttling pain of this restrain I feel plenty of deep cuts and bruises. Probably a broken rib or two. My face hurts, and one of my eyes struggles to stay open. My Amwella is¡­ alright. Considering how many times I¡¯d gotten stung.


    But... How am I alive?


    After a few moments, I feel the thing shift. And then a tendril, tipped by a great purple eye as big as my head raises up to peer at my face.


    ¡°Let me go!¡± I hiss at it.


    It blinks, then pulls from view. A few moments pass, then a door I couldn¡¯t see before amidst the dark creaks and opens, and Voe storms in.


    Her face is mangled, looks much like mine feels. But¡­ it¡¯s been partially healed. She¡¯s stripped off her armor and now wears a simple green gown, but is carrying her sheathed sword. Rage drips from her, but she doesn¡¯t speak. Just¡­ grips her sword as tightly as she can.


    A few moments pass.


    I don¡¯t speak, don¡¯t engage. I¡¯m a slave to her, less than a person. A piece of flesh to be butchered. Memories slide back into place. And she isn¡¯t in charge here. Else she¡¯d already be hurting me.


    I stop looking at her. Ignore the weight of her gaze and the strangling pain of this¡­ thing, and focus on the wall. A few moments pass, then Zitra comes stumbling into the room. Still in her light chitin armor. She glances between Voe and me.


    ¡°What?¡± Voe hisses at her.


    ¡°I...¡± Zitra pauses, ¡°Just¡­ The Matron asked me to make sure you hadn¡¯t¨C¡±


    Voe glares at her, ¡°Does she think so little of me?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve seen you gut someone for less.¡± Zitra calms, shrugs.


    Voe snorts, but doesn¡¯t reply. Turns her glare back to me. ¡°I¡¯m just here to watch. Maybe take a few bites if she leaves anything once she''s done.¡±


    I shudder as Zitra gives me a sidelong glance.


    There is a long pause. Then a large shadow falls outside the open door, and the third monster arrives. The Matron wears a simple gown of dark silk, eyestalks curling about her in obvious agitation. But her face is kept blank.


    She enters, glares down at me, and I¡¯m drowning beneath the smothering weight of her gaze.


    ¡°Where is Thendra?¡± She finally asks, voice nearly a hiss.

 Chapter 16: Hate Worms

    Content warning:


    -torture


    -soul toture


    -BIG emotions and family trauma


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± I stutter, expecting to need to ask her that same question.


    She raises a hand, snaps fingers twice, and the thing around me squeezes, hard. Leaving only my throat without constriction. Ribs crack and bones ache, I feel something snap. I hiss and scream and struggle, consider calling up my Amwella to try and¡­ But even reaching for it feels impossible. Like trying to carry a large stone from the bottom of a rushing river.


    She snaps fingers twice again, then the thing loosens its grip, and I gasp. There is a pause, The Matron doesn¡¯t repeat her question.


    ¡°Still in¡­ inside.¡± I choke out. It hurts to talk, hurts to breathe. I long to sing to repair whatever deep injury I can feel bubbling up inside me. ¡°I think. I¡­ I don¡¯t know. We lost the other Reavers when we went through the rift. Was only Thendra, me, and Bulderii.¡±


    ¡°What was your part in her plan?¡±


    ¡°Her plan was your plan.¡± I whimper as the thing wriggles and worms around me.


    I squeeze my eyes shut as The Matron kneels.


    ¡°Look at me.¡± Her voice is steady, but the tone carries such a promise of pain I jerk to obey. Her eyes burrow into mine, and I feel¡­ intruded upon. Like she can see through me.


    ¡°Did Thendra betray me? Did you sabotage this with your Fae Songs?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I barely get out. It¡¯s getting very hard to breathe.


    She sighs, rises.


    ¡°Well?¡± Zitra presses, but with only a whisper.


    ¡°She¡¯s exactly what you found her as.¡± She murmurs, ¡°Just¡­ a lost little slave. Broken. Very little will without her master.¡±


    Voe perks up, ¡°This is good news then. Thendra didn¡¯t betray us!¡±


    ¡°Oh hush.¡± The Matron hisses, ¡°Thendra betraying us, using this little Fae to try and sabotage our venture, that would be simpler. Easier to deal with.¡±


    ¡°Our watchers have seen nothing of her or her Reavers since they passed through.¡± Zitra adds. ¡°Could we have gotten something wrong? With the equations?¡±


    ¡°No. Ours works as intended.¡± She glances back at me, ¡°And she wasn¡¯t lying. About any of it.¡±


    ¡°Please¡­¡± I beg, pain is becoming more and more of me, As each breath becomes a battle to dredge up. ¡°I¡­ I need her to let me sing.¡±


    They all look back to me, eyestalks exchange looks. The Matron grins.


    ¡°Little Fae.¡± She purrs, turns to stand above me again. Ice prickles at the back of my neck at her tone, at the hunger in her eyes.


    ¡°Thendra mentioned your training was progressing¡­ well.¡± She hums in a casual tone, ¡°How well?¡±


    I shudder, suddenly very cold inside. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t¨C¡±


    She huffs, annoyed, I brace for pain.


    ¡°Torture is over dearie.¡± She kneels, ¡°Now, I¡¯d like to discuss business.¡±


    I want to look away, want to curl up in a corner and die. Want to find Thendra. But I¡¯m held upright, restrained to meet her gaze.


    ¡°Please.¡± I wheeze. ¡°Hurts. Hurts so much.¡±


    ¡°Oh... I know.¡± She coos, voice dripping with fake concern. ¡°And I¡¯d love to help with all that. As one of mine I would never have lost you in such a terrible place.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t.¡± I whimper. ¡°The curse. I can only sing for her.¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t bluffing all those weeks ago.¡± She leans forward, whispers. ¡°They are strong, spiteful things. But... brittle. I can break yours.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll give me¡­" I stammer, wheeze through pain and rotten hopes. "Give me back my¡­?¡±


    Hope wriggles up and burrows into my brain. Foreign and gross. I hate it. I hate it so much. My songs are my soul, but what is my soul if I¡¯m not with Thendra?


    She giggles, and kills the hope she sees in my eyes. ¡°No, little Fae. But bind them and yourself to me. And I¡¯ll free you from all this unfortunate pain.¡±


    Anger. Real and raw and hot enough to drive a stake through the pain boils up inside me. I¡¯ll pour my hatred into a song before I¡¯ll let you cut me from her. I begin to draw up my Amwella, muster every word and curse and blighted thing that rots in those rancid debts.


    ¡°Never. Give me back to Thendra.¡± I hiss dryly at her, glaring all my hate into her eyes.


    She flinches back, nearly falls. What she sees in my eyes makes multiple tendrils rise in defense. Voe begins to draw her sword, Zitra takes a step back.


    Then anger refills her eyes. ¡°Very well then.¡±


    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    One snap of her fingers, and the things around me begin to squeeze again. I jerk my Amwella up and feel the curse plunge into me, as I prepare to wail everything at her. It¡¯s so hard, with the weight of all three of them smothering my Amwella, but I begin to manage to¨C


    But then the thing tightens around my throat, and strangles me.


    I pull and thrash and struggle, try and fight for even a single note past the constricting mass. But the thing''s grip is nearly as strong as Thendra¡¯s. The Matron nods, and leaves me to die. Zitra moves to follow, eyes Voe.


    ¡°Go. I¡¯ll be along¡­¡± Voe doesn¡¯t even look at her, just watches me struggle to bring death songs to bear, a sick little smirk on her face. ¡°I¡¯d like to eat her soul.¡±


    Zitra sighs, and leaves. Voe''s eyestalks flair out, and she approaches to stare over me. I feel her strange Amwella twisting and writhing around me.


    ¡°Such a pretty little thing.¡± She purrs and kneels. Fingers reach out and take my cheek. ¡°But maybe¡­ hm¡­¡±


    Then I feel a little flicker of cold pain, become aware of a horrid cold soul beginning to poke and prod at my own. I try to snarl, to open my mouth, but she just giggles. And slides that same hand down and over the twisting thing that kills me. Finds some skin between the horrid things constriction and rakes fingernails over my flesh.


    Then a piece of my soul is snatched up, and torn off. I would have yelped in pain if I could. Cold horror and fear and despair jolt through me as she continues to pick and tear at my little wounded core. It¡¯s hard to hold onto that hot anger as the darkness gathers at the edge of my vision. As I feel more ribs crack and break. After a few seconds I feel something in my neck bend in on itself.


    But I do manage to glare back at her. Picture my human parents as they cursed me and chased me from their home. Imagine Undreka as she threw me nearly across the room, spitting curses at my affections.


    Watch as my beloved sibling shouts anger and contempt at my mother, talks of fixing her mistake and cutting my songs away, then¡­


    ¡­ then the Fae steps from the shadows up beside Voe. Whistling songs of peace and sleep into her ears, causing the watcher to slump and pass out to the side. Then they kneel to weave a knife of pure fear into a song and direct it at the eye serpent that is killing me. It recoils, and I fall into their arms. But no breath can enter me as my windpipe is broken, so I just close my eyes and wait for the dream to end.


    *    *    *


    A wheeze of dry warm air, then consciousness returns in a rush of pain.


    ¡°Stop.¡± I hear Thendra say. I would weep at her voice if I could. Instead I roll over in the warm quilts to see¨C


    Adonie¡­ Usete of the Fae¡­ Beloved Sibling.


    They sit in a chair beside my bed, shoving aside a book to lean toward me, hand reaches for my shoulder and¨C


    I recoil, try to hiss and shout, and end up coughing up blood and bile. They freeze, pull back with their palms up.


    ¡°Okay okay okay. I won¡¯t touch you.¡± Soft words, careful. No bite or anger.


    I jerk about, try to understand where I am, back up to the wall behind me. Small room, one window, one door, one target.


    They slowly rise and step back from the small bed I currently inhabit, motion to the bedside table. ¡°You should drink.¡±


    It takes me a moment to understand their words, to even glance to the mug of water.


    ¡°Where am I?¡± I croak through a painfully dry throat, unwilling to move closer.


    They remain as far from me as they can stand while still being in the same room. The archway behind them seems to lead into a hallway of some kind. I glance out the window, see the black sand and sparkling jade of the city.


    ¡°My home, here in Theradas.¡±


    I glare back, Try to speak. Choke and cough more.


    ¡°Drink? Please?¡± They plead.


    I growl, but reach out to snatch the water, almost dropping it. Glaring at them while drinking is hard, but I manage. When I finish it¡¯s completely empty, so I clutch it like a good rock. Ready to throw the thing for a split second of distraction.


    ¡°Where is Thendra?¡± I manage.


    Their face turns dark. ¡°Still wandering the Rorliras pathways I left her in.¡±


    I glower. ¡°Free her.¡±


    Their expression shifts, is pained. ¡°Her cruelty is limited there. Contained.¡±


    I push the light quilts off, move to stand. The black death is almost to my wrists now. This doesn¡¯t bother or surprise me. But I am surprised to see I¡¯m wearing light pants and a soft tunic. More clothes than I¡¯d worn since... well my time in my woods. Or back with mother.


    ¡°Lyra, please.¡± They move to block the door. ¡°Just¡­ rest. Recover.¡±


    ¡°If you¡¯ll not free her, then I will.¡± I hiss. ¡°I¡¯ll not let her die in that place.¡±


    They sigh, ¡°She¡¯ll survive. Hopefully reflect and¨C¡±


    ¡°Then at least leave me there with her!¡± I shout.


    That startles them, then a¡­ an anger crosses their face again. Identical to what they had when wearing the face of Adonie. ¡°I¡¯d not leave the cruelest creature with that Dreamer blighted woman, much less my own sister.¡±


    That makes me jerk back, knocks me to the bed in old pain that has nothing to do with my body''s injuries.


    But¡­ but they never¡­ never ever called me that. They told mother I was a mistake, a¨C


    ¡°She¡¯s¡­ Lyra she¡¯s a slaver. A ruthless flesh eater. Has committed every foul thing and horrible stirring of the dream you ca¨C¡±


    ¡°I know that!¡± I stammer, eyes begin to water. Hiccupping sobs are beginning to overtake me. ¡°I don¡¯t care! Just¨C¡±


    ¡°Then why?¡± They plead, ¡°Why beg to return to her, Beloved sibling?¡±


    Them calling me sister¡­ That hurt. Oh, Dreamer¡¯s clit and cunt it hurts!!! But it¡¯s the Fae words that break me. How they name me that without the slightest hint of scorn, just¡­ annoyed worry at¡­ at seeing a member of their family in pain.


    ¡°Why¡­ why do you call me that?¡± I whisper through the sobs. ¡°Why now?¡±


    They jerk back at that, confusion washing away their anger. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You never called me that!¡± I scream, rising back to my feet. ¡°When I met you on the paths outside mother¡¯s home. When I finally was Fae. I greeted you as my beloved sibling. I wanted you to love me and embrace me as family!¡±


    ¡°I¨C¡± Their mouth bobs open and closed like a fish outside of the river. ¡°Lyra I¨C¡±


    ¡°But you hated me!¡± I growl, thrusting all my bitterness and spite in the words. ¡°Yelled at mother for adopting me! Called on elders to come and take my songs from me!¡±


    They reel back as if struck, lean against the doorframe for support. There is a long pause as I fight to recover my breath. Shouting isn¡¯t something my body can do well right now.


    ¡°You would have let me die when they left me in the forest below.¡± I hiss.


    That jerks them from their stupor, ¡°Never! Lyra¡­ I would have made sure you were safe and¨C¡±


    ¡°Mother had to send me to the Dead Dreamer¡¯s Wood to protect me from that cruelty.¡± I point one blackened talon at them. ¡°Your hatred and cruelty.¡±


    Pain envelopes them then, and then I see the tears bubbling from their eyes. ¡°I didn¡¯t¡­ She wouldn¡¯t tell us where you ran to¨C¡±


    I ignore them. Wrap myself in rage and anger to try and stop the wave of... some emotion I can''t understand. Don''t want to understand. Hatred and scorn is easier than whatever things approach behind...


    ¡°Mother gave me my songs, helped me weave this true and perfect form, and offered me the thing I had lost.¡± I shout through a wave of dizziness as I claw my other hand over my chest, ¡°Family. But you stripped me of that!¡±


    A long pause as I gasp and choke to recover my breath. Sides beginning to ache so much I long to sit back down.


    Words fail them, so instead they sing. A melody of pain and anguish. Quiet and lilting. Subtle, but a perfect harmony to my own calling from so long ago. A sorrow to share with their beloved¨C


    ¡°Don¡¯t!¡± I hiss, cutting them off. ¡°Don¡¯t you dare flaunt your songs at me. Not while I had to sell mine to gain some small measure of happiness.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± They manage to sputter out through the interrupted song.


    ¡°It¡­¡± I hug myself, shame consuming some of my fury. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. Just... go away. Pretend I died after mother sent me away. You''ll be happier.¡±


    ¡°No. Please, Lyra¡­¡± They beg, ¡°You are my sister.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t lie to me.¡± I bite, but the truth in their song and words stings me deeper than any curse. ¡°You never wanted me. Tried to have me killed and¨C¡±


    ¡°Beloved sibling, treasured family, one who¡¯s pain tears through me like¨C¡± They force into the air between us, soft and sweet Fae words that ring so true it cuts through my bitter rage and pain. Let''s that wave behind crash down upon me harder than the wounds ever could.


    ¡°Stop it.¡± I squeeze my eyes shut at the Fae song. Fall back to sit on the bed and press palms into my ears. I want them to hate me again, to... to scorn and glare down at me. I''d dealt with that burden for years, but this... oh Dreamer''s Tit''s It crushes me. To be... be treasured as family by this beloved sibling, to see another ache at my pain and suffering. It''s... it''s too much!


    ¡°-It¡¯s mine own. Please let me help bear your burdens and ease your suffering.¡±


    ¡°Stop.¡± I beg through gritted teeth. ¡°You¡­ you don¡¯t. You hate me!¡±


    They keep from touching me, but between the sobs and my hands I can see them kneeling before me.


    ¡°May you find the peace I¡¯ll never know as you heal the pain I caused you.¡±

 Chapter 17: Born Wrong

    I can only whimper and curl in on myself. I can tell how badly they want to reach out to me, to hold me and sing¡­ but they can read my sorrows well. Know I would panic and reel from even the most gentle touch. So they keep a safe distance.


    ¡°Lyra, I am so very sorry. I¡­ I never¡­¡± They finally whisper, need to take a deep breath and restart. ¡°Looking back I understand how¡­ how you could think I felt that way toward you. I handled things very badly then. But¡­ Lyra I never bore any anger toward you. Only at our mother. For laying the burden of the Fae song upon your shoulders.¡±


    I glare down through the tears, ¡°Why? This is¡­ This body is perfect! It¡¯s me. Finally, perfectly me!¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need a Fae body to be¨C¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not being Fae that makes it perfect!!!¡± I spit. Anger rekindled.


    They pause, confused.


    ¡°That¡­ That makes it better, but¡­¡± I look away, not wanting to speak about my oldest pain. I wipe at the tears, ¡°Did¡­ did mother never tell you?¡±


    They quirk their head, confusion through the tears.


    No. That¡­ that makes me love her even more. She only ever saw me as I am. Probably didn''t even... didn''t understand how this could hurt me once I told her that first time.


    ¡°I was born¡­ wrong.¡± I stammer. Old human broken parts rearing up and ruining my control as the memories crash and tear through me. ¡°The human¡¯s who b- birthed me¡­ they hated me. B- beat me. A lot. Then they eventually tried to kill me.¡± I fight so hard to steady my words. ¡°I ran and¡­ barely got away. Th- then mother found me.¡±


    A startled intake of breath, then a long and horrible pause. I brace for¡­ Rejection? Argument? Sudden hatred? I¡¯d gotten that and more from my human parents.


    ¡°I have thought poorly of our mother since I first met you¡­¡± They whisper. ¡°Believed she snatched up and led some human child to dream of Fae things they could not hope to carry well. But¡­ she was helping you? Giving you the life and love you should have always had.¡±


    I turn, see their fresh tears and shaking of sadness.


    ¡°Why did she not just tell me?¡± They gnash their teeth. ¡°I would have¡­ we could have handled things differently. Better.¡±


    Voice steadies, and so does my heart. ¡°It shouldn¡¯t have mattered.¡±


    They sigh, disagreement plain in the sound.


    I turn away, anger rekindled. ¡°I¡¯d like to leave now.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t let you. Won¡¯t let you.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s my life. Let me choose how I will live it, Usete.¡± I grind my teeth. ¡°Do you really want to make this mistake again?¡±


    ¡°Rot and Ruin, Lyra NO¡­ I just¡­¡± The fumble at the words. ¡°You¡­ You really don¡¯t understand how dangerous you are, do you?¡±


    I glare back, ¡°No more than any other Fae.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re wrong.¡± They fall back to sit, legs fold across each other. ¡°And from what I¡¯ve seen, both in your past and present, it¡¯s so much worse than I could have imagined.¡±


    ¡°You sound like Thendra.¡± I murmur, but instantly regret the cruelty of it.


    I ache for her. She would distract me from this pain.


    ¡°She¡­¡± They only purse their lips. ¡°It¡¯s probably why she covets you so.¡±


    ¡°At least she lets me sing. You and the other Fae wish to strip me of that¡­ and more.¡±


    Usete¡¯s eyes focus on me again. ¡°She¡¯s hurt you.¡± It¡¯s not a question.


    I shrug.


    ¡°How has she bound you to her so tightly?¡± They whisper, ¡°Convinced you to lock away your songs behind a Dreamer¡¯s Lamentation?¡±


    That makes me flinch. ¡°You saw?¡±


    ¡°I had to heal and dress you. Of course I¡¯d notice such horrid things on my own sister.¡±


    The word still makes me flinch, causes little pinches of pain in my heart.


    ¡°It¡­ I don¡¯t¡­¡± I sigh, look down at my blackened hands. ¡°She gives me what I didn¡¯t have. A piece of it, at least.¡±


    ¡°She doesn¡¯t love you, Lyra.¡± They press.


    ¡°I know that!¡± I spit. ¡°I don¡¯t... I just want to be wanted. To not be alone in those cursed woods.¡±


    They do reach out then, toward my blackened fingers. Hover just out of reach. ¡°Do you know what this is?¡±


    ¡°My death. The cost of the horrid words I sing for her.¡± I pull back, but don¡¯t try to hide them. ¡°I don¡¯t regret any of it. Just hope I can die singing while she fucks me.¡±


    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    They don¡¯t give me the reaction I was hoping for. A surprised balk or revulsion at my words and desires. Just¡­ only a pained smile moves across their lips.


    ¡°You¡¯re¡­ correct, but only in the base sense.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡± I shrug, annoyed their pressing this. ¡°Beloved sibling. I¡¯m not going with you. I¡¯m going to find her.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t let you.¡± They pursue their lips. ¡°I must return you to Fae elders. They can help you heal.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll try, and I¡¯ll fight. Curse or no.¡± I glare down at them.


    ¡°You¡¯ll tear yourself and the Dream around you apart.¡±


    I chuckle humorlessly at that. ¡°Probably. But the Dream will go on. Or you can just¡­ move, and It won¡¯t happen.¡±


    ¡°No, sister, you misunderstand.¡± They tap my hand, ¡°Your songs, your very soul. Stirs the dream. Threatens an awakening event that could¡­ well¡­ hurt a lot of people.¡±


    I pause at that. ¡°Is¡­ is that why you hated me? When you saw me as Fae?¡±


    ¡°I never hated you.¡± They force out with such¡­. Anger. But not at me. ¡°I hate what being Fae meant for you. That your past of agony and despair would curse your songs to stir the Dead Dreamer. And that our mother did not warn you of this.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Is all I can whisper after a very long silence passes between us.


    ¡°What if¡­¡± I whisper, preparing for my beloved sibling to actually hate me. ¡°What if I told you that even knowing that, and believing it. I don¡¯t care?¡±


    I don¡¯t look at them, just¡­ stare down at my blackened hands. ¡°This Dream, this life has always hated me.¡± I continue, and prepare my words of horror and agony, and returning torments. ¡°I finally found something in it that makes me happy.¡±


    Amwella rises, curse prickles, words ready.


    ¡°And I will sing the cunt awake if anyone tries to take that from me.¡± I turn to glare down at my target.


    My beloved sibling only stares up at me, pain and sorrow plain. ¡°Okay.¡± They whisper.


    A long pause. I ready my Amwella to rend myself free of their grasp, or end in the attempt.


    ¡°I¡¯ll make sure you can go back to her.¡±


    I choke and gasp as it all falls away. ¡°What!?!¡±


    ¡°Thendra is¡­¡± They look down at their shaking hands,. ¡°Lyra, she¡­ I¡¯ll never forgive her for what she¡¯s done to you. But¡­¡± They turn up to look at me. ¡°Come back to the Fae-Wood, let some elders¡­ let them see if they can help you. Settle the dream, heal your soul. And then you can¡­ live with whatever horrible person you desire.¡±


    ¡°I barely trust you, much less the other Fae.¡± I sigh, ¡°They¡¯ll want to strip my songs and form.¡±


    ¡°What if I swear to stop them?¡± They press, ¡°Your hands weren¡¯t always like this, which means you¡¯ve shown you can control the stirring. Even with your wounds. Even under Thendra¡¯s horrible influence you only progress a little at a time.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± That makes me pause. Considering¡­


    ¡°Please,¡± They beg. ¡°I won¡¯t¡­ won¡¯t betray you again. Won¡¯t let anyone hurt you or take your songs or form.¡±


    I shift¡­ pain lances up through me. I¡¯m also still healing. I could easily die if I tried to use those words again right now.


    ¡°Sing me your intentions. Give me a promise in song.¡± I demand, expecting to need my horrid words anyway.


    They do so, without hesitation. And by the end of the melody I can¡¯t help but need to wipe away tears. Their confessions laid bare and raw. Their hands hover out toward me, a question given physical form at the end of their song.


    I reach out, touch fingers to theirs.


    ¡°Okay¡­¡± I murmur. ¡°But¡­ I want you to free Thendra before we go. And I want you to tell her where I¡¯m going and why you''re taking me. And I want to have time for my body and Amwella to heal before these Fae elders come anywhere near me.¡±


    My sibling grimaces, but nods. ¡°Alright. I hate that, but I can do all those things.¡±


    **    **    **


    ¡°She what?¡± I wince, but am not surprised.


    Usete left me for time. I almost... almost tried to leave. But... how would I even help Thendra? The only pathway I know into the Rorliras is in the Matron''s estate. And to return there would mean my death. I''m not even sure I could hobble back to our home in the city. Not in this state. Not... not without putting myself in danger of being snatched up by the first hungry flesh-drinker who wanted to take a bite.


    ¡°She¡¯s¡­ much more powerful than I would have guessed. Even in that place. My sibling sighs and nods. ¡°Tried to kill me through the entire conversation.¡±


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡± I curse. ¡°I should talk with her¡­ make her¡­ I can try and make her understand.¡±


    Usete shakes their head. ¡°She won¡¯t let you go.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but smirk at the possibility. ¡°You¡¯re not wrong. It might take a few days. But, I really think I can get her to¡­ to let us work this out.¡±


    "Lyra." My sibling lowers themselves to meet me at eye level, face hard and uncompromising. ¡°You¡¯re not a person to her, not an equal. Not even one of her Reavers. You are a slave to her. She views you as stolen property.¡±


    I grind my teeth at that. They¡¯re not wrong, but¡­ maybe she could¡­ Especially if I came back...


    ¡°Fine! Just as long as you freed her from that place.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ not just that, Lyra.¡± They murmur. ¡°We need to leave today, go to the Fae-Wood now.¡±


    ¡°What? Why?¡± I stammer. ¡°You said¨C¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll keep to my promises.¡± They hold up a hand, ¡°But¡­ Thendra and her Reavers are already searching for you. And the Matron hopes to find you first to avoid her discovering about the attempt on your life. My glamor can work to an extent, but we should already be gone.¡±


    ¡°Where will I even stay?¡±


    ¡°With someone I trust. Someone who would help you escape if needed.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± I sigh, ¡°Who is this person to you?¡±


    They smile, a bit of trepidation. ¡°Same as she is to you.¡±


    **    **    **


    I hiss as the familiar scents of the forest wash over me. ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t do this.¡±


    Usete squeezes my hand. ¡°She¡¯ll be delighted to see you, Lyra.¡±


    Within a few moments of helping me rise, they had sung a beautiful riftwalking song and led me back to the branching pathways amidst the treetops of twelve years ago.


    ¡°That¡¯s not¡­¡±


    I betrayed her.


    ¡°I¡¯d rather just¡­ stay in my home in the Dreamer¡¯s wood.¡± I sigh, ¡°Would be easier.¡±


    And¡­ maybe Thendra would think to look for me there.


    ¡°I don¡¯t even know how to get there.¡± They take a step forward, try to pull me along. ¡°And we¡¯re already almost here.¡±


    I glance up, feel a memory scar tear and begin to bleed as I remember the spot ahead. Tense up.


    ¡°What?¡± Usete asks, looking forward. Thinks about why this place would cause my reaction. ¡°Oh¡­ is that¡­?¡±


    ¡°Mhm.¡± Is all I can get out. That¡¯s where I surprised you. Showed you my new Fae form. Where you began your plans to¨C


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m so sorry Lyra.¡± They wince, turn back to me. ¡°Let¡¯s¡­ let¡¯s get past it. I can carry you if you¡¯d like.¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°I can¡¯t do this. Let¡¯s just¡­ camp out below, or¨C¡±


    Someone is suddenly beside me, bumping past me as they walk.


    I jerk, glance over. And there she is.


    Shorter than me, dark red hair wound up in a bundle, simple dark shorts and a long shawl hangs about her. Wonderfully long ears tinted with midnight blues that fade into green scales down her neck. My mother¡¯s arms are full with woven baskets filled with¡­ bees? Makeshift bee hives?


    ¡°You two coming by for dinner, or are you just planning on pissing around on the pathways?¡±


    ¡°Mother!¡± Usete stammers, hums a quick tune to ward off the few swarming bees. ¡°We¡­ I didn¡¯t see you coming.¡±


    She doesn¡¯t even stop, just¡­ bumbles on past us. ¡°Humph, I¡¯d hope my glamor song is solid enough to fool two distracted children arguing on the path.¡±


    ¡°But¨C¡± They pull at me, this time with enough strength I have to follow or get drug along. ¡°Why sneak around at all!?! Why not gre¨C¡±


    ¡°Because, little softshell,¡± She doesn¡¯t even pause. ¡°I¡¯d rather hum a glamor to hide myself entirely than try to convince every hungry critter to keep off these hives.¡±


    She¡¯s¡­ She hasn¡¯t changed. Not one bit.


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± They catch us up to her, ¡°So¡­ Can I help you carry those?¡±


    ¡°Maybe if you had offered back at Opeda¡¯s grove, but not now.¡± She grumbles, adjusts the hives, ¡°I just got the queen to settle down for a nap. Besides, my little girl looks to need your help more than me.¡±


    My heart flutters. That¡­ that was the little pet name she¡¯d given to me. Ever since she first pulled me from the underbrush and tried to give me a bath.


    Without even looking back, ¡°What¡¯s wrong little girl? Can you not speak or walk? I thought we got you past that? Has Usete here done something?¡±


    ¡°No, mother.¡± I mumble, wiping at my tears.


    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± She glances back, deep brown eyes look me over, ¡°Don¡¯t mumble, I don¡¯t have the patience for it and it¡¯ll ruin any good songs you try and weave.¡±


    ¡°No, mother!¡± I nearly shout, a grin on my lips. ¡°Usete has been¡­ kind.¡±


    ¡°Hmm.¡± She turns back to the pathway, ¡°Good. Dreamer¡¯s Tits, I hate it when you little ones squabble.¡±


    And then we¡¯re at her treetop grove. The little patch of paradise she raised me in.

 Chapter 18: Patch of Paradise

    It¡¯s a sort of¡­ plate, wrapping around a high point on the tree. From it multiple good sized round spots are sung into the tree in the middle, while the big outer edges house fertile soil and a variety of plants and smaller growths. Or¡­ in this case, a few beehives.


    Mother bumbles the beehive over to a stand, and takes a few minutes of song and handwork to settle them.


    ¡°Mother,¡± Usete begins, ¡°I¡­ We were actually here about¨C¡±


    ¡°Not out here, little softshell.¡± She hushes them with a wave and moves to the main room of the house. ¡°Let¡¯s get a meal prepared first.¡±


    That tone, she¡¯s set her mind to it. There¡¯s no arguing with her now. I can¡¯t help but smile at how much I love her. How much I missed her.


    Inside we help her prepare a meal, and I can¡¯t help but hum along as she encourages the oven to flare up. But¡­ When she asks me to sing over the bread to help it rise I freeze up. The nostalgia and love of the memories cracked like a frosted puddle. But¡­ but those are Thendra¡¯s songs. Not mine. I¡­ I can¡¯t¡­ My shame bubbles. I gave them all away. I¡¯m barely her daughter anymore.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Forget the feel of it?¡± She eyes me.


    Usete saves me. ¡°I¡¯ll handle it mother!¡± They rush over to the baking oven and begin to hum the melody. ¡°Lyra, can you handle the berries then?¡±


    Her eyes flick between us. And I finally see it. A little annoyance, but mostly¡­ curiosity, a hint of worry¡­ and¨C I can¡¯t meet her gaze for long, I look away and head to the windowsill where the berry bush awaits. Soon a feast of warm bread and a dozen other wonderful forest treasures is prepared and ready. Cold springwater tea is brewed and sits in little wooden cups before us. At first we just¡­ happily nibble on the meal. Mother hums a soft harmony after a bit, which eventually leads her into the first conversation.


    ¡°So what have you been doing lately Usete?¡± She muses between nibbles and the tune, ¡°Last time we spoke I didn¡¯t get the chance to ask.¡±


    There is a wince in one of their eyes. A quirk of old pain. Had they not spoken since¡­ Since I was last here?


    ¡°Stopping some watcher kin and her family from pillaging an old City.¡± They supply, ¡°I was actually hoping to gain entrance before them, but she approached my glamour form. Had enough connections and little eyes about to notice my interest.¡±


    ¡°Hm¡­ which city did they find?¡± She murmurs. ¡°You were in Theradas, I can smell the spice on you. I¡¯m not aware of any near there.¡±


    ¡°There aren''t. They found one of the Rorliras.¡±


    That makes her eyebrows quirk up, ¡°Ha! I hope you let them stumble around a bit. Teach them a lesson about sticking one''s extremities into odd places.¡±


    ¡°Mostly.¡± They shrug between bites, ¡°They have some¡­ interesting resources at their disposal. I¡¯ll need to go back and ensure they don¡¯t turn the thing inside out by mistake.¡±


    That jerks me into the conversation, ¡°What? You¡¯re¡­ you¡¯re not staying?¡±


    Usete shakes their head, ¡°It¡¯s too big a risk to let the watcher and her kin flutter about, and you¡¯ll need time to heal anyway.¡±


    ¡°But¡­¡± I feel a spike of panic. At the idea of being alone with mother.


    ¡°You should already be healed,¡± She turns, examines me. Eyes roll over my scars and bruises, settle on my blackened hands for the first time.


    I twitch and pull them beneath the table.


    ¡°Lyra is¡­¡± Usete reaches beneath the table to clasp my fingers. ¡°Can she stay here? Rest and heal? It should only be¨C¡±


    She waves them off, interrupting, ¡°Rooms have always been open if you little ones bothered to open your eyes when you visit.¡± She turns back to her food. ¡°There may be some clutter, might be a bird¡¯s nest or squirrel hovel. Just make sure to introduce yourself and be polite.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡± I whisper.


    She only gives me a, ¡°Mhm.¡±


    **    **    **


    Later that evening, I stand at the boundary of mother¡¯s grove with Usete.


    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t want to be alone. Don¡¯t¡­ don¡¯t want her to know how¨C¡± I beg.


    They squeeze my hand, ¡°Then don¡¯t tell her. You know how she is. She¡¯ll distract you both with little tasks and such.¡±


    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    Shame, hot and terrible bubbles and sours inside my stomach.


    ¡°Best thing for you now is rest,¡± They turn, begin to sing a complex jittering melody of¨C


    The world tears, and a Rift appears before them.


    ¡°Be¡­ Be careful. Please.¡± Sudden fear as the dark glow of Theradas moonlight bleeds into the sunset of the Fae-Wood.


    They smirk, ¡°They don¡¯t suspect Adonie of anything.¡±


    Then their glorious Fae form dulls and fades into that of the Adonie, and they slip through the portal. After it closes I just¡­ stand there for a few minutes. Caught between wanting to run away¡­ and¡­


    ¡°Little girl!¡± Mother shouts.


    I look back, see her leaving the house with a couple pots. ¡°Stop fooling about and help me bring the Rotita in.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but smile, ¡°Coming!¡±


    My mother is so wonderful. I¡­ I know she¡¯s probably worried about things. I mean¡­ last time she¡¯d seen me she¡¯d had to literally push me off the ledge of her home to get me to leave.


    To run.


    But she doesn¡¯t ask, even in those first few days when she would tell me to sing or hum a tune to help her and I would just¡­ not. Would nearly draw blood as I dug my talons into my palms at the shame and guilt and horror of how much of myself I¡¯d carved away.


    Sold to a monster.


    But¡­ she wouldn¡¯t push. She¡¯d huff and get me to do things the hard way. Wouldn¡¯t treat me like some newborn bird. It was¡­ almost like before I could really sing. Nights are the worst though. We had no window in Thendra¡¯s room, so I¡¯m also constantly jolted to alertness by random chirps or clicks or loud cat noises. I¡¯m also accustomed to Thendra¡¯s warmth and smell and getting her to fuck me into exhaustion. I find myself reaching for her in this small little bed, only to find empty pain and guilt.


    On the second night, after tossing and turning for hours. Caught amidst warm dreams and painful longings, I end up rising to wander downstairs and out into the garden. I end up sitting and leaning against the fresh hive, staring off into the other treetops. The painting of home wafts into my mind as I watch the stars turn above, its lilting melody calls for me to sing.


    ¡°Please.¡± I murmur.


    My body still aches. Usete¡¯s healing songs helped, but ultimately¡­ It''s my body. Sewing its parts back together is a task only I can complete.


    But¡­ that would require a command from Thendra. I shiver in longing and anticipation. Fingers drift between my legs. Almost¡­ almost try to weave a song of arousal and sex and¨C


    Then there is a sound, just a light thing. Intentional, but subtle. A call to alert me to her. I turn, and see my mother staring out at me.


    Shame. Oh, so much of it. Similar to when I was young and she would catch me doing something incredibly stupid. Something I knew not to do but chased anyway. Then she turns, and disappears back into the kitchen. For a moment I think she¡¯s returned to bed. But before I sigh in relief I hear the bumping sounds of someone on a task. Then she comes out to sit next to me on the soft grass of the grove, two steaming mugs of hot tea for us. After setting mine in the grass next to me she just turns and silently watches the midnight forest. This is her place. Silly to think she wouldn¡¯t know my movements. She knows it¡¯s every song and hum, and without the melody of stealth I¡¯ll not move around here without alerting her.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I sigh and take up the mug, ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to wake you.¡±


    She nods, takes a sip of her own. A gesture that screams to me of her saying Quite right! And now you''re wasting my sleep¨C


    I shake the reply from my mind. No, she¡­ she isn¡¯t thinking that. She cares. She loves you.


    ¡°Your hair is a mess.¡± She chides, sets her tea down. Moves to sit behind me.


    I freeze, clamp up as her hands begin to move through my dark mane.


    ¡°Ugh, is this¡­¡± She spits, ¡°Dried blood. Not even yours.¡±


    ¡°I¨C¡± I almost pour it all out, right there. All my shame and¨C


    A sigh, ¡°Let me get the comb, and I can sing some of you better as I work.¡±


    What?


    But she has already gotten up and is heading toward the house. By the time she returns I¡¯ve gathered my thoughts up enough to ask. ¡°Usete already did what they could, I¡­ I don¡¯t think anyone else can¨C¡±


    ¡°I was there when you wove your body,¡± She turns me so she can work. ¡°I remember enough of it''s nonsense to get things moving along.¡±


    ¡°R¡­really?¡±


    I can feel her stare, how it says; Yes, little girl, I probably know just as much of this body¡¯s inner workings as you do.


    Then she starts humming, and feeling her touch again¡­ fingers digging and pulling the dirt and blood and sand while her song washes over and through me. My mouth is open, Amwella gathering, eager to show her the beautiful words I¡¯d learned since¨C


    And the curse bites, hard. I end up coughing and spitting blood. By the time I recover she¡¯s only humming a quiet melody, hand on my back. Can¡¯t even push through it to share those parts of my soul with her.


    ¡°Sorry,¡± I croak, reaching down to take a drink of my tea to wash down the taste. Her song fades as she scoots back up to sit beside me. And I brace for questions.


    ¡°I¡¯ll need your help moving the hive tomorrow.¡± She sighs, ¡°Otherwise I¡¯m¨C


    I jerk my head to her as she just¡­ goes on¡­ like I wasn¡¯t sitting maimed and broken on her grove. Like I didn¡¯t spit blood when trying to sing.


    She side eyes me, ¡°Will you be too busy to help your mother?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ why?¡± I almost hiss.


    ¡°I just told you, I don¡¯t trust that nest of little problems to not harass my new brumble of bees.¡±


    I just stare at her.


    She rolls her eyes, ¡°Little girl, I have raised twenty eight forest critters to become Fae, and countless others that never develop enough to change and become like us. Everything blooms and grows in its own time.¡±


    ¡°But¨C¡±


    ¡°If I ran about poking and prodding all my little ones and their problems, I¡¯d drive myself to madness. Would end up returning to the forest floor or unweaving myself.¡±


    There¡­ is a flair. A spike of sudden and hot anger and sadness.


    ¡°Is that what you thought would happen to me?¡± I spit. ¡°Why you never¡­ Never came to find me? You expected me to¨C¡±


    A sigh and look of tired exasperation chokes out my anger, makes me stammer to a stop.


    ¡°It¡¯s what my mother did to me, threw me right off the edge of her grove, when she got tired of my nonsense and felt it was time for me to grow past her.¡± She grins at the memory, then¡­ her expression does begin to show sadness. ¡°I wasn¡¯t expecting to need to do that to you for at least a century more. Thought I¡¯d need to restrain your wanderlust. Stop you from chasing after some Fae lovers through the Midday Courts.¡±


    ¡°Then¡­ Then why?!?!¡± I grip at my mug so tight I worry it might shatter, ¡°Why didn¡¯t you come find me? After¨C¡±


    ¡°Because visiting the Dreamers Wood is¡­ It would have¡­¡± She sighs, at a loss for words. Which is rare for her. I¡¯d never seen her stumble at knowing what to say.


    ¡°I was so alone.¡± I feel the tears well up as I whisper my agony. ¡°Expected to die never seeing anyone ever again.¡±


    Pain. Real and hard and old, streaks across her face. I¡¯d never seen that. Ever. It only fuels my desperate anger and floods me with bitterness.


    ¡°You were the only person to¡­ to ever love me.¡± I grind my teeth, ¡°You called me daughter, gave me my songs and soul. I know why you had to send me away. I know that you probably got¡­ were treated poorly for how you helped me. But¨C¡±


    I¡¯m almost screaming now. ¡°Why love me if you were just going to throw me away?!?¡±

 Chapter 19: Ignoring the Nonsense

    A very long silence stretches between us.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, little girl.¡± She whispers, and when I turn I see tears in her eyes too, ¡°I¡­ I knew they meant to take your songs. Knew there was one place you could go that they couldn¡¯t follow. For most Fae¡­ those woods are an unmaking, a death. A sort of rotting flesh at the edge of the Dream. Truth of just how¡­ how the Dreamer is dead.¡±


    ¡°Then why send me there?¡± I hiss.


    ¡°Because¡­ The Dream had been stirring around your soul since long before I found you.¡± She lays her mug aside, stares straight up into the trees. ¡°You already knew such¡­ anguish, and pain like no other Fae I¡¯d met. The despair those woods fill us with would be nothing compared to what you¡¯d already overcome.¡±


    That¡­ I don¡¯t know what to say. What to think. She¡¯d told me no Fae would enter those woods, but never why.


    ¡°Most of us¡­¡± She continues, ¡°We¡¯ve only known the joys of acceptance and love. We remember our past life, and cherish what we were. Our first people thoughts are of a loving parent teaching us new things, and all the possibilities of life.¡±


    ¡°But¡­ I¡­ I found words. Horrid things to use in my songs. Fear and Pain and Spite!¡± I counter.


    She winces at that, glances down to my blackened fingers, ¡°I¡­ I had hoped you¡¯d find peace. Take a few decades or a century to¡­ settle into yourself. To¡­¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°I didn¡¯t.¡±


    She meets my eyes then, ¡°I did try, Lyra. To visit. About¡­ half a year after you went back to those woods. But after three steps into that forest and I knew I could not reach you. That I wasn¡¯t as strong as you.¡±


    I¡­ I can¡¯t stop the tears then.


    ¡°Usete was¡­ they said something like that too. But I thought it started after I¡¯d already¡­¡±


    She shakes her head. ¡°Your¡­ past. It was harmful to everything around you. But the way to fix that wasn¡¯t to strip you of your songs, wasn¡¯t to invite more of the same. But to give you the love and acceptance you needed. To help you want to live!¡±


    I jerk back at that. That horrible Fae painting drilled into my soul and given Fae words to twist its misery into being.


    ¡°I could see it in your eyes then, when I pulled your dirty little human body from the underbrush, and I see it now.¡± She doesn¡¯t look away, ¡°You despise this dream, you gnash and kick and will stir the Dead Dreamer to awaken amidst that fury and bitterness.¡±


    Old memory scars are torn free, fresh and bleeding. Born in the wrong body, despised by my human parents for it, chased away under fear of pain and death. Then given life again, given real love by this amazing mother, only have it taken away.


    ¡­Then Thendra found me.


    ¡°I won¡¯t let them take what little happiness I¡¯ve found.¡± I growl.


    ¡°Nor should you.¡± She gently takes my hand and looks forward.


    My anger sputters at her agreement and touch.


    ¡°Now, would you like to tell me about what you¡¯ve been up to?¡± She takes up her mug to drink, ¡°Tell me about what happiness you¡¯ve carved for yourself?¡±


    I stammer, ¡°You¡¯ll¡­ you¡¯ll hate me for it.¡±


    Raised eyebrows, but nothing more. I have to look away.


    ¡°I¡­ Usete¡­ they¨C¡±


    ¡°Why not start at the beginning?¡± She murmurs, ¡°From when we last parted ways?¡±


    Deep breaths¡­. And I tell her. Starting with my landing on the forest floor, and my escape to the Dreamer¡¯s Wood. I whisper the tale of the scared girl who wandered until she found a tree she liked, and began to sing a home from it. Of all the little things I wove into my life there and how I built most of it from memory of my time with her.


    She asks questions and praises my work as I paint pictures of it from memory. We spend a few hours just sharing the joy of the little projects that come with weaving a home. Then I get to Undreka¡¯s arrival. How I discovered her bloody and weakened at the edge of my song wards. She doesn¡¯t interrupt, but I can see her tension as I describe her form. Pretty charcoal black skin and a whirling of Amwella with big cute tendrils!


    She calms a little as I tell of our time together, winces at my horrid attempt at seduction and fleeing into the forest to nurture my pain. I can almost see her thoughts. Should have listened, little girl. Should have tempered or numbed those desires and sensations for a decade or more.


    ¡°Then there were more, right outside my home. Didn¡¯t even trigger my wards till they were right on top of it.¡±


    I see such obvious dregs of worry on her face. I almost don''t tell her... look away in shame and consider... But no. She asked. Which is such a rare thing for her to do. I... I''m not even sure how much I ever told her about my past as a human.


    Deeeeep breaths. And I tell her of my race back, of Undreka¡¯s capture¡­ and of my Lament and offer.


    She doesn¡¯t interrupt my whispered retelling.


    Then I tell her of Thendra¡¯s demand, of the curse she wanted me to place over my songs, and I cannot bear to look up from my long empty mug to catch even a glimpse of her expression.


    ¡°I¡­ I was so alone.¡± I set the mug down. ¡°And she¡­ she wants me.¡±


    A long pause as I fight to say it. To tell her I¨C


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    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry Lyra.¡± She whispers, all pain and sorrow at what a disappointment I must be.


    ¡°I¡¯m not.¡± I bite down on the lie, add truths to make it feel real. ¡°I would do it again, if the choice was between another day alone or being wanted¡­ Even being¨C¡±


    A Slave. I can''t speak the word. Not even here. Especially not here!


    ¡°Oh¡­ Oh Lyra No." She moves to sit in front of me, tries to take my hands. "She¡­She doesn¡¯t love¨C¡±


    ¡°It doesn''t matter!¡± I don¡¯t let her finish, just¡­ pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. Glare over at the hive next to me. I grind my teeth, don¡¯t even try to stop the angry tears. ¡°She protects me, fucks me, helps me learn Fae words you never could.¡±


    That makes her jerk back. I bite down on the words before I can finish spitting more pain.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ That¡­ that wasn¡¯t fair.¡± I whisper quickly. ¡°You¡¯re wonderful. I just¡­ I wish¡­¡±


    I peek up to see her tears then. Watch as a part of her breaks at hearing this. Oh no. no no no no no. Please no¡­


    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault.¡± I whisper. Trying desperately to heal the wounds I''ve struck into her.


    We sit in silence then, let an eternity pass as we both endure our pain. She¡¯s going to ask you to leave. Or¡­ Call the Fae elders, and toss you off the edge again whenever¨C


    ¡°Would¡­ May I hold you, my Lyra?¡± She whispers.


    I choke on the wave of pain and guilt, but nod. I hadn¡¯t told her that part of the story yet, how¡­ how Thendra saying that had means so much to me. She moves to my side, wraps her arms around me. I lean into her warmth, and let the sorrow boil over.


    She¡­ We didn¡¯t¡­ I don¡¯t tell her the rest. Can¡¯t bring myself to break her heart anymore. Much much later we both dry our tears and return to her home, try to gain some measure of sleep.


    * * *


    ¡°Go.¡± Mother jostles me from my wander with a bump.


    I jerk over to stare down at her, ¡°Huh?¡±


    We¡¯re walking along the wide branches sung into pathways between the huge trees of the Midday Court. Dozens of other Fae rush and move about them. Some sing songs of flight and swiftness I only ever dreamt of learning, while others are content to simply walk like us.


    This is the second time in the past two weeks she has insisted I come with her on little errands and social visits. I resisted at first, terrified that others would see my blackened hands, or worse. But she only chided me, saying that the Fae of this forest warp themselves into my more colorful and maddened shapes. That compared to them my scars would seem mundane, if not a bit¡­ grim or sullen. Along with my dark hair most would think I¡¯d originated as a midnight panther¡­ or some kind of beetle.


    So I relented, and off we went. And I loved it so much that I actually asked when the next time we¡¯d head out together. That seemed to make Mother very happy.


    Such color and songs twist around us as we walk. Our first outing had been very short, a trip to a friend to trade seeds and gossip. I¡¯d only caught glimpses of the Midday Courts'' more intricate works at a distance. But now we walked the edges of it, and I am enveloped by its splendor and chorus.


    Flowers of all colors line the trees and branches, while strange birds and odd critters and beasts lounge about or pass underfoot. Thousands and thousands of little homes and hovels dot the trees from root to canopy, all sung from the bark and connected to the largest branches that form the pathways.


    But at the moment, that is not what captures my attention.


    Down a few pathways, three huge branches have swirled together tight enough to hold a large basin of water. Smaller ones weave above to create ledges that hang anywhere between ten feet to fifty above the crystal clear waters. And there are at least six dozen Fae at play amidst it all. Swimming and leaping and swinging about grappling vines. And the low hum of joyous songs echo from it all like a blazing flame in the dead of night.


    ¡°I know you can swim,¡± She reaches out and takes the basket I carry.


    I don¡¯t resist her, but I don¡¯t move. ¡°I¡¯m not sure I should.¡±


    She walks over and begins to settle herself down to sit in a small grove on the side of this pathway. I follow her, kneel down to whisper. ¡°I¡¯m not going to swim in this tunic, I¡¯ll look like¨C¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d hope not! Swim naked like the rest!¡± She huffs.


    I glance down. That¡¯s the problem. Everyone down there is naked and glorious and wrapped in a body they are proud to display. I¡¯d grown accustomed to seeing many Fae simply weave fur and feather over naked flesh in these past weeks, and it did little to bother me. But for me to undress here¡­


    ¡°Mother.¡± I hiss, jerk my tunic down enough to show her the mark on my collarbone. ¡°My hands may be ignored, but these won¡¯t be.¡±


    But¡­ she just shrugs. ¡°Laments are¡­ not common. But they happen. Not often for good reasons, but¡­¡±


    I fall back to sit on the grove with her. ¡°My point exactly. And I bear two.¡±


    She sighs, lays a hand on my knee. ¡°Lyra, You should still go.¡±


    I glance up to her.


    ¡°Don¡¯t let the nonsense in a stranger¡¯s mind ever rob you of happiness.¡±


    ¡°But what if someone¡­ knows what I am. About the¡­ the stirring. Goes to alert Fae elders?¡±


    She pulls her hand back, begins to reach into a basket for some of the snacks we brought. ¡°Usete already told them, a week ago. None will come check on you till it''s time.¡±


    My eyes go wide. Fear and anger and words of¨C


    ¡°What!?!¡± I hiss, ¡°How could¡­ They betrayed me? Again!?!¡±


    That makes her chuckle. ¡°No, little girl, it¡¯s the way of things. A Fae elder will come visit us when you¡¯ve healed more. Usete approached different ones and with a great deal more¡­ humility this time. Calm and such. Explained how you needed healing, not¡­ well¡­ what we feared last time.¡±


    I dig talons into the soil. Only a little calmer, ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell me?¡±


    ¡°I am. Right now.¡±


    I huff, let some of the anger out, give her a little glare.


    She rolls her eyes, and through a bite reaches out to pull at my tunic. ¡°Go. Burn that grumpiness off in the waters. Leave your tunic here.¡±


    I don¡¯t move.


    ¡°Or don¡¯t! And watch others enjoy life.¡±


    That jolts me, makes me grind my teeth and rise. ¡°Fine.¡±


    ¡°Fine.¡± But I see her satisfied grin as she hums a little tune of victory.


    By the time my anger cools, I¡¯m striding naked down the largest branch that stretches over the waters.


    The surrounding songs do help drown my anger with joy and anticipation. But¡­ they also add to it. Stir my own desire to sing with them. This branch is the least crowded. Less Fae willing to dive off its height without first knowing the songs of flight.


    Then I¡¯m running. Slipping past a few surprised Fae hesitating at the rim and launching myself as high as I can go off the highest point of the branch. I¡¯m not graceful, especially by Fae standards. I¡¯d watched as others used their songs to arch and twist into dives and flips and all sorts of impossible movements.


    I just¡­ kind of¡­ stutter at the final moments and find myself caught between wanting to do a simple dive, but also trying for a flip. I end up doing a sort of¡­ pinwheeling motion as I arrive at the apex of my leap, turn halfway and begin to plunge very very fast toward the waters below.


    I must look like some panicked cat who''s just had the branch beneath them snap. Luckily my instincts kick in and I get my feet beneath me before I slam into the waters below. The jolt of cold and the sudden stop of that little rush from falling, followed by the seconds of calm are wonderful.


    I open my eyes to the vast underwater realm. Amidst twisting branch tunnels, plants and fish whirl about with the Fae. I end up just¡­ letting myself sink down to the bottom to enjoy the muffled thrum of song. Weeds and flowers curl about my ankles as I settle, then stir as I kick off and begin to swim amidst the waterways. But¡­ soon my lungs cry for air amidst the strain. On my way up some of the Fae rush past me, and I feel a twinge of annoyance and jealousy as I spot the fins and gills on them.


    I wonder¡­ I wonder if Thendra would let me¨C


    I break the surface in a burst, take a delicious breath of the sweet air, and begin pulling my hair aside. I glance up and about, consider swimming back down or climbing back up to the tallest height. Can¡¯t help but grin as I decide on the jump. I swim to the water¡¯s edge and hoist myself up. I barely suppress the urge to run as I begin to make my way up the slope to the winding paths.


    Within seconds my joy is stifled as I feel eyes on me. From my peripheral vision I catch more than a few of the Fae staring. I increase my speed, focus on twisting and pulling my hair into some semblance of order. They¡­ they''re all perfect in their own ways. Vibrant colored hair, skin perfect and lush with scales and feathers. Bright eyes and lips weaving magic songs into the air.


    And then there is me. Dirty black hair I could never get to shift to the bluish hue I originally wanted, lips still and unsinging, and hands blotched an ugly dead color. Even my skin still carries the subtle hint of healing scars and bruises, despite Usete and my mothers¡¯ best songs.


    I look such the outsider among them. Almost¡­ I¡¯ve lost enough of myself that they¡¯d be almost right if they didn¡¯t consider me Fae.


    I keep climbing, gripped by my mother¡¯s words. ¡°Don¡¯t let the nonsense in a stranger¡¯s mind ever rob you of happiness.¡± I whisper to myself.


    Then I¡¯m at the top again, the branch stretching out before me.


    Same as before, I run and leap.


    I commit to a dive this time, but about halfway down something strikes my side and foot, and then I¡¯m tumbling sideways. I jerk my spine, try to correct like I¡¯d done a million times when falling from a branch, but the angles are all wrong and I¡¯d had my songs then¨C


    Impact. A spike of ice in one of my ankles. And I instantly lose my lungful of air in a pained, muffled hiss. I don¡¯t panic, but I do instantly begin swimming to the surface.


    I break, gasp, and begin a pained half-paddle to the edge.


    What Dreamer cursed thing even hit me!?!

 Chapter 20: Songless Fae

    I get to the edge, move to pull myself up, fail. Fall back into the water in a huff of pain. Try again.


    Three more tries, then I make it, by then I do notice more people staring. Looks a mix between worry, confusion, and¨C


    Ignore them. It¡¯s all nonsense. Focus on¨C


    Someone lands behind me, is kneeling. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry!¡±


    The cool water around my ankle helps, but the pain is still¨C


    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± I hiss, don¡¯t even look back.


    My side starts to throb, I glance down to see a nasty purple splotch slowly rising to the surface. I reach down to gently feel the spot. No broken ribs, but¨C


    ¡°Alright. Um...¡± They move up to my side. I see a mix of purple and green feathers folding up close against skin. ¡°Eh¡­ Are you um¡­ I didn¡¯t hit your jaw or throat, right? You can still sing?¡±


    I grind my teeth. Nope. But it doesn¡¯t matter.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t,¡± I force my voice to remain steady. ¡°I¡¯ll be alright.¡±


    They flounder, back up a few feet. But I still hear them. Still feel plenty of eyes on me. Waiting¡­ waiting¡­ waiting¡­ All Fae can heal themselves back to near perfect within a few days. Minor injuries like this should be easy. To become a Fae you have to have shaped the body you wear. You have the words to knit the parts together. But¡­ without Thendra, I am less than Fae.


    Eventually I spot the little trickle of blood pooling around my feet, and I look down to see that half the toes are twisted, and the ankle turning purple and swelling. Can¡¯t just sit here, need to leave. But¡­


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± I curse, and push myself to rise.


    I quickly find that pulling weight on the wounded leg is¡­ well horrible. Barely possible, and incredibly painful. But¡­ What choice do I have? Even keeping my head down to avoid meeting anyone¡¯s gaze, I spot the feathered Fae¡¯s feet right away, and move past them. Blood dribbles with every step.


    ¡°Um¡­¡± Feathered person tries to follow. ¡°Do¡­ do you need help or something? Why aren''t you just singing¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I growl, very low. And keep walking. They don¡¯t follow after that. I make my slow way up the pathways, refusing to stop to alleviate the pain. Knowing if I do I might try something stupid¡­ like trying to heal myself through the Lament.


    But eventually I do make it back up to her. She watches me approach, face¡­ an odd mixture of emotions. Pain, regret¡­ some doubt as to¨C


    I stop just a few feet from her. ¡°Can we please go home?¡± I whisper through pain and embarrassment. Dripping wet with one side of my body still throbbing.


    ¡°Sit here and let me¨C¡± She begins, holding my tunic out for me.


    I don¡¯t answer, just take the tunic and begin to walk. She catches up easily as I try to twist and get the thing over my head without stretching myself out too much.


    ¡°You''re going to mangle that foot worse.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d rather deal with that than be gawked at like I¡¯m some¡­¡± I grind my teeth.


    Songless Human.


    The walk home is quiet pain. By the time we arrive my foot has grown a few more inches of purple swelling, and it¡¯s getting hard to breathe.


    Once I touch the first blade of grass I just¡­ stop. Turn and fall back onto the grove.


    My mother doesn¡¯t panic, doesn¡¯t poke or prod, she just settles down by my feet and begins to sing. First to control the swelling, then to reduce the worst of the pain, then¨C


    I tune it out as I glare up at the evening sky. Eventually her song fades, and we¡¯re left in silence.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to start dinner.¡± She declares and stands. ¡°Come help when you can.¡±


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    I sigh and immediately rise to help. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    My foot looks perfect, save the still slight purple hue. Side bruises are¡­ decent.


    ¡°Mhm.¡± She¡¯s already gathered up our baskets and is moving.


    Once again, proving why she is wonderful.


    Later that same night, woken amidst desire and annoyance and pain, I decide to follow her advice. So I take up a tunic, snatch up a light snack and a small basket to carry it in, and leave my mother¡¯s grove.


    There are many here who prefer the night, but far fewer than those that prefer the day. So as I return to the lake, I¡¯m happy to see barely a dozen Fae. A small enough number to enjoy the water without threat of incident or intrusion.


    So I drop my basket and tunic off, and slide myself down into the cool water.


    My¡­ hope was that the shock of the cool water would chill my warm thoughts. Ease my desires and give me some peace. It works for a bit as I swim through the dimly lit waters. Letting me admire the little bubbling¡­ things¡­ that exude light for the nighttime swimmers. But then I come up for air and prop my shoulders up on an outcropping of roots, and the memories of my first time with Thendra bubbles up and envelopes me.


    I reach down, press fingers against my slit. Begin to¡­ to slide them up and down and around and¡­ it¡¯s not enough. So I curl my talons and let them rake at my second lips and pinch at my clit and rub it harder. Trying¡­ trying so hard to imagine it¡¯s her hand. Her fingers. I even adjust and sink a few talons into my shoulder, then claw down to a breast and¡­


    I let out an annoyed huff after a few moments of this. It¡¯s not enough. I want her so bad it hurts. I feel so¡­ just¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits!!!


    Amidst my fading annoyed horny brain rot a fresh memory of when Usete left winds between my thoughts. And the song he used to¨C


    I jerk my head up and nearly scramble out of the water to look about. ¡°What am I even still doing here?¡±


    I want to be alone for this, but¡­


    I look up, and decide to try this stupid idea from the highest branch. Once there, tunic pulled about my still wet body, I sit down and close my eyes. Focus on the song Usete had sung so clearly that day. Deep breaths. Focus on the melody, the emotion, the feel of it. This¡­ this is a more complex phrasing, more intricate and subtle a concept than I have ever sung. The closest was my own original changing, and that was done slowly and with supervision.


    I even picture the Reavers in my forest, how they had done it. Begin to hum lightly, no magic yet, just¡­ trying to get a feel for the rhythm.


    Deeeep breaths, draw up the Amwella, fight through the sting¡­


    ¡°May I sing?¡± I whisper through the song and pain.


    I twist my hand out like Usete did and¨C


    There is a jolt of pain, unlike anything I¡¯d ever felt before. Like someone bending a joint in the wrong direction¡­ but with only the muscles. I cry out and drop the song, glance up to see a settling flash of purple light fade.


    ¡°May I sing.¡± I growl, then try again.


    Better this time, but the pain is worse as it fails. Amwella is getting bruised and¨C


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits!!!¡± I curse.


    Again, but it''s worse this time, the pain is starting to make my arm go numb. I stand, glare at the purple sliver as it fades from view.


    ¡°Let me sing!¡± I nearly shout, reach out, the delicacy of my sibling¡¯s movements gone, and tear at reality with song and talon like a Reaver. For a second I see it, feel the spiced winds and catch a glimpse of the moonlit sands when¨C


    A crack, an angry pop, and I feel a few of my fingers snap back from the almost rift.


    I ignore the pain and don¡¯t drop the song, try to¡­ to shove at the edges. Will the pathways between to split and tear open for me. I almost have it, but¡­ something pushes back. Like trying to hold a bubble underwater as it constantly is trying to wriggle free. But if the bubble was a glob of pure pain that tears and screams and¨C


    The curse bites deeper and I lose focus, then a broken finger is twisted farther out of place. The rift dies silently, and I realize it was me who was screaming as I clutch at my mangled hand. I kneel, gasping at pain and despair and so so much rage.


    LET. ME. SI¨C


    A creak, the wood beneath me shudders, and I jerk up to see a Fae woman perched on the end of the branch, crouched and watching me. She¡¯s not naked like the other swimmers, wears a tunic of warm dark maroons and greens that leave messy sun-kissed skin bare. Little feathers fold down from elbows as a silent tune fades from her lips. Orange hair pulled into a loose braided mess frames a dirty face and a crooked smile.


    Golden amber eyes shimmer with¡­ amusement? Delight?


    ¡°Practicing a riftwalking song?¡± She stands, right fingers twiddling at the hilt of some little¡­ sheathed sword? While the other pulls at the strap of some kind of medium sized backpack.


    I rise, still clutching at the wrist of my mangled hand.


    ¡°That''s really impressive, honestly!¡± She grins when I don¡¯t respond. ¡°Took me years to even muster up the courage to try it, and I broke quite a bit more than a few fingers before I got as close as you just did.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± That sputters and pops a hole in the anger pot I¡¯m trying to boil. ¡°Thanks?¡±


    Her smile turns to a grimace as she looks down to my mangled hand, ¡°Really tore up that hand though. I can sing the bones and skin back if you¡¯d like? Get it healing?¡±


    ¡°No I¨C¡± I look away. Brow creasing. I should know how to heal myself. She could offer a mild harmony but¡­ that wasn¡¯t the offer.


    I jerk my eyes back up, find her head tilting to one side, eyes unmoving. Fingers still touch that weapon in a¡­ almost playful way. Not threatening but¡­ confident. Like an old habit she doesn¡¯t want to shake.


    I take a step back.


    ¡°You¡¯re¡­¡± I whisper, a bit of panic making my voice unsteady. ¡°Why¡¯re you here? Who are you?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± She turns those golden eyes back up to mine, ¡°I can¡¯t offer help to some pretty Fae who I watched mangle her hand during a botched song?¡±


    I would blush if I wasn¡¯t afraid and angry and still in a good amount of pain. So my glare is good.


    She sighs, rolls her eyes. ¡°Usete said you¡¯d¨C¡±


    I take another step back at my siblings'' name. Reach for my horrid songs while keeping a bit of Amwella within easy reach. It¡¯s still bruised and small from the riftwalking attempts. I¡¯ll won¡¯t have enough for more than one good¨C


    ¡°So this was the plan all along then?¡± I hiss, ¡°Just... keep an eye on me? Ambush me if I try to leave? Let me hurt myself enough to¨C¡±


    ¡°Woah woah woah!¡± She raises both hands, palms up, ¡°Not at all! I just got here. Was asked to come find you and see what kind of help you needed.¡±


    I don¡¯t drop the horrid words, but do pause. ¡°You¡¯re¡­ one of the elders?¡±


    She snorts, ¡°Barely. All the older ones are super busy. I¡¯m here because a friend asked me to check in and get things moving for you.¡±


    ¡°But¡­ Why now? In the dead of night?¡± A jolt of pain nurtures my suspicion.


    A sigh. ¡°Like I said, I just got back. Happened to hear your riftsong cracking and got curious. Was really surprised to see who it was though¡­¡±


    ¡°But¡­ how did you know I was¡­ like¡­ the right person?¡±


    She smirks, eyes me up and down, raises an eyebrow. ¡°You¡¯re¡­ a very unique looking Fae.¡±


    I look down, notice blood dripping from a few torn talons at the tips of my fingers.


    ¡°Fine.¡± I drop the words, and try to calm myself.


    ¡°Yeah?¡± She takes a careful step forward. ¡°I know a place nearby we can go, I can sing your hands a bit better and we can talk?¡±


    I nod.


    ¡°Lyra, right? I¡¯m Awnya.¡±

 Chapter 21: Tarnished Eyes

    The home she walks me to is a small round space woven out of one of the great trees. It hangs lower than the lake or my mother¡¯s grove, and overlooks the forest below.


    Only enough room inside for a little table, one single bed, and us.


    My hand lays out over the table between us as Awnya weaves complex healing songs. After she¡¯s done with it she lifts my hand very gently and lets it sit in a little bowl of very cold water.


    ¡°I reset the bones and knit the talons best I could.¡± She rises, heads over to some little cubbies in the back wall. ¡°Can I get you any more to drink? Sure you don¡¯t want some food or¡­¡±


    She glances back, I shake my head tiredly. She shrugs, grabs herself a few pinkish fruits and comes back to sit.


    ¡°So¡­¡± She prompts, ¡°What¡¯s up?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    She takes a bite of her fruit. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t Usete tell you?¡±


    She shrugs, ¡°I¡¯d like to hear it from you.¡±


    I sigh. ¡°I¡­ Look. I¡¯m tired, Why not just¡­¡± I wave my uninjured hand and look away.


    She taps the table with a finger in a little rhythm. ¡°Because, What they want and what you want might be very different things.¡±


    I bite down on a dozen angry replies, settle for. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡±


    She tilts her head in confusion.


    ¡°Still testing me. Still doesn¡¯t think I¡¯m¨C¡±


    ¡°Lyra.¡± She interrupts me, taps a finger on the wood. ¡°Hey¡­ hold up a second. I think I finally understand the problem.¡±


    I spare her a glare and angry reply, but keep my head turned to gaze out the window.


    ¡°Usete mentioned that you¡¯d be¡­¡± She pauses when my eyes jerk over at the name. Restarts. ¡°I think I¡¯m starting to understand the shape of all this. Usete was a real shitwater in your past, and is only just now beginning to realize how much you''re hurt by all that. Right?¡±


    I look back to her, and nod, carefully nurturing the bubbling anxiety. ¡°What, exactly, did they tell you? What do you and the other Fae elders know about me?¡±


    She sighs, ¡°This is a really bad way to start this.¡±


    ¡°If you know anything about me, you should understand why I want to know who I¡¯m dealing with.¡±


    Another bite, chews, swallows, never takes those golden eyes off me.


    ¡°Alright!¡± Her grin returns, ¡°Moon and Stars, I knew you¡¯d probably be a bit jumpy but¨C¡±


    My glare must make her rethink that path of words, she chuckles and starts over.


    ¡°Usete came and asked me to act as the first Elder in this. Said it was an urgent healing request. I have experience in¡­ injuries and damages that can be suffered beyond the rifts. As first Elder I work with you to identify what ails you and call on others if I can¡¯t alleviate your problems.¡±


    A pause.


    ¡°What else?¡± I press, ¡°There is no way they left it at that.¡±


    She winces, ¡°They didn¡¯t. But¨C¡± Looks to my expression, sighs. Then reclaims a bit of her grin. ¡°They mentioned that your past with Fae other than your mother was¡­ rough. That they overreacted to something very soon after your change and it led you to being isolated. They mentioned two Laments, one inert the other very active. Said it binds your songs. Told me you laid them both.¡±


    Another pause.


    ¡°And?¡±


    She tosses the core of the fruit out into the forest below. ¡°That you stir the Dream.¡± Motions to my hands. ¡°Described the symptoms and afflictions they¡¯d seen. Mentioned you¡¯d probably want to return to a bad life after we finish. Other than that? Just your description so I could find you.¡±


    I chew on that. Should I believe her? Do¡­ Do I still want to trust Usete?


    ¡°What happens if your healing doesn''t work? If I¡¯m stuck stirring the Dream so long as I''m Fae?¡±


    ¡°So long as your Fae?¡± She tilts her head, ¡°Do you plan on returning to your original form or something?¡±


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    ¡°Never.¡± I hiss.


    That makes her¡­ well not jerk back, but twitch. Smile falters. ¡°Okay¡­ I¡¯m sensing some¡­ pain there.¡± She leans forward, ¡°You want to talk about it?¡±


    I huff, look away. ¡°Does it matter?¡±


    She motions toward my still healing hand. ¡°You¡¯re Amwella is literally reverberating in ways that stir the dream. So¡­ Yeah. I¡¯d say it matters.¡±


    I flinch at that. Hated by this life. Will torture me until I¨C


    ¡°What do you want, Lyra?¡± She whispers, ¡°I don¡¯t sense that you enjoy this. That you want to play at waking Her.¡±


    ¡°I just¡­ want to go back.¡± I murmur. ¡°To where Usete found me.¡±


    ¡°To Theradas, right?¡± She presses.


    I nod.


    ¡°Hm¡­ kinda a nasty place. Who¡¯s waiting there for you?¡±


    Thendra.


    I sigh. ¡°You didn¡¯t answer my questions.¡±


    She smirks, ¡°Clever. Couldn¡¯t distract you for long.¡±


    I channel all my tired annoyance as we meet eyes again.


    She raises a hand in surrender. ¡°Alright. Alright! But there¡­ there isn¡¯t much of an answer. You''re obviously in pain, and not just from those curses. Kinda a¡­ a big tree ready to fall. We can either stabilize you, or just¡­ get out of the way. Let you come crashing down in a way that minimizes the damage to yourself and others.¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°Not good enough. I want to know exactly what you will do if this doesn¡¯t work. If I tell you to go jump off a tree and just try to open more rifts?¡±


    She sighs. ¡°I¡¯d follow. Be there to help heal you if you keep failing. Keep an eye on you. Try to encourage you to let me or someone else help. And if you look ready to¡­ to collapse. To sing something that will cause an awakening event...¡± She shrugs. ¡°I¡¯d try to stop you. Help deal with whatever pain has caused it.¡±


    I stare at her, words not making sense to me.


    ¡°Not like¡­ you won¡¯t try and take my songs?¡± I whisper. ¡°You won¡¯t try and force me to¡­ to try and twist me back into my old body?¡±


    That cracks the remains of her grin. Real disgust, and worry covers her face. ¡°I¡­ No. Dreamer¡¯s Tits and Teeth no! That¡¯s¡­ what? Who even made you think that was a possibility?¡±


    I try to study her, to read if she¡¯s just trying to keep me calm.


    ¡°Is that¡­ Oh that¡¯s what Usete meant?¡± She snarls. ¡°Is that why you lived alone after your change? They suggested you should be¡­ Like¡­ unwoven? But just back into your old form? Song''s and spark muffled?¡±


    I just nod.


    ¡°But¡­ Why?¡± She hisses, such real and vibrant anger in her voice. ¡°I¡¯ve met your mother. She¡¯s a bit of a spitfire, but nothing to suggest she could or would¡­¡± she motions to my hands. ¡°Encourage this, provoke a stirring like what you''re dealing with.¡±


    I turn to look outside. ¡°She¡¯s wonderful. Better than I deserve.¡±


    A long pause. Awnya gets more fruit, chews them with a furious anger. ¡°What were those absolute Dreamer Blighted Cunts thinking? Plenty of us are found abandoned or neglected in the forest. We grow up fine.¡±


    I just stare at her, fighting back tears at her¡­ at someone not thinking I deserved the agony and pain. That¡­ that maybe I should have had some measure of happiness. But... It''s just because she doesn''t know. The moment she hears about my past...


    She looks back to me, anger cooling as she sees my tears. ¡°What got Usete so worked up over you?¡±


    I¡­ I want to trust her. A pang of guilt at her kindness despite my horrid nature makes me speak without much consideration. ¡°I was human.¡±


    Confusion. Cold fear begins to roll through me as I realize my mistake, I glance down and away. She just thinks it¡¯s impossible, just¡­ give her a second to adjust and she¡¯ll¡­ she¡¯ll hate me like all the rest. Try to convince me to just... give up everything I am. Live is misery for a life that hates me. Won''t even give me a good death like Th¨C


    ¡°O¡­ kay.¡± She replies, tossing another fruit out the window. ¡°Not sure how your mother even could manage to teach you Fae Songs and magic, but sure. And?¡±


    I jerk up, her casual acceptance breaking something. Golden eyes suddenly a haunting center to a collapse of deep fears and pains. I almost hiss... But¡­ stifle everything going on inside so I can attempt to reply.


    ¡°I¨C I was¡­¡± I stammer, but¡­ can¡¯t get the words out. Images and memories flash through my tired mind. Shame. Shouting. Running. Running. Running. Pain. Shame, more shouting¡­ then¡­ so much pain. Then¡­ alone as uncounted tendrils of cold despair consumed me.


    She sighs, sits back at the table to study me. ¡°Hmm¡­ people thoughts, before becoming Fae could muck things up a bit. Cause a stir. But stable and loving care will settle it. Same as everything else.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I wasn¡¯t just abandoned.¡± I force out. Can¡¯t stop my stuttering as old human aches and memories begin to overwhelm me. ¡°I¡­ my¡­ the humans I belonged to tried to kill me. Th¨C they hurt me. A lot. B¨C beating and shouting and¡­ and then they¡­¡±


    She nods, but reaches across the table to try and calm me. ¡°Alright. Do you think it was your fault? It totally wasn¡¯t, but we should start there if you do.¡±


    ¡°Um¡­¡± I pull my numb hand from the cold water and away from her touch. Old memories causing even that kind gesture to seem a threat. ¡°Maybe? I¨C I guess I do. Because it¡­ it was! I was¡­ wrong. Born wrong. I was really messed up. Th¨C they had a right to be upset when I told them.¡±


    Why am I telling her this?


    ¡°Born¡­ Wrong? How?¡± She tilts her head in confusion. ¡°And¡­ Lyra that¡­ that¡¯s absolutely not an excuse to hurt anyone. Especially a child.¡±


    I don¡¯t answer. After a few long beats she asks. ¡°You want something to eat? Maybe a drink?¡±


    She rises as I look up to her. Getting the words out should be easier. But¡­ What if this is her limit? What if she reacts like¡­ like my¡­ like the humans did? Or Usete at me being human all those years ago?


    Raised eyebrows in question. I nod. She just gives me a wonderful grin. It helps. But I can¡¯t get the Dreamer Blighted words out. She comes back with cool springtree water and a plate of fruits and bread, and lets me nibble in silence.


    ¡°Hey Lyra?¡± She eventually murmurs.


    I can barely look up to meet her glowing amber eyes. ¡°I didn¡¯t say this earlier, but I should have and I¡¯m sorry.¡± She reaches out, touches a hand now that a calm seems to have settled over me.


    I pause, focus on her. Her eyes and soft smile sing of encouragement so I don¡¯t pull my hand away, but I still tense up.


    ¡°This is your life, and while I will need to step in if disaster is literally about to occur, you are safe with me. I¡¯m not going to let anyone force a change on you that you don¡¯t want. We¡¯re going to do this at your speed. Okay?¡±


    I give her a slow nod. Wanting so so badly to believe her.


    ¡°If you¡¯d like to be done for tonight, just let me know.¡± She smiles, all warmth and confidence. ¡°You can stay here with me, or go back to your mother¡¯s grove. You can walk alone, or I can come with you. It¡¯s your decision. We¡¯ll talk again when you''re ready. No sooner.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡±


    The thought of another night alone bothers me so much. ¡°Would¡­ Would you take me back to Theradas?¡± I whisper as warm thoughts of spiced distraction roll through me. Of just ignoring all this forever.


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± She winces, but doesn¡¯t lose that smile. ¡°No. Sorry.¡±


    I huff a sigh of annoyance as I look down at my still injured hand. I should have known that would be her answer. But¡­ I still nurture a bit of bitterness. ¡°I thought you said this was my life. That you¡¯d¨C¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t physically stop you from trying to riftwalk.¡± She clarifies. ¡°But¡­ I wouldn¡¯t leave you alone either. Would totally try and talk you out of it the entire time. Pester you and such!¡±


    I huff. A mix of annoyance¡­ and¡­ an odd and uncomfortable relief washing through me. At¡­ at having to stay with this kind amber eyed Fae. One insisting she wants to help me. Even if she''ll hate me as soon as she knows. Usete certainly would If I told them about the rest of my past.


    She leans an elbow on the table, ¡°I¡¯ll just¡­ need to know more before I make any big moves here. I don¡¯t want to drop you back into a bad place that¡¯ll push you toward more pain.¡±


    I take a deep breath, allow my mind to fixate on the future I hope this will bring. ¡°Okay.¡±


    ¡°Okay?¡±


    ¡°I want to get through this quickly.¡± I whisper. ¡°Get back to Theradas as soon as possible.¡±


    I take a deep breath, grit my teeth, and focus on the words that nearly got me killed the last time I spoke them.

 Chapter 22: What We Dream To Be

    So... She talks about it in the first paragraph, but... yeah, Lyra is Transgender.


    I''ve been super worried about this reveal since I started writing this story. While my other writings are very openly and loudly about transgender things, Lamentations was meant to be subtle and a slow bubble up to this. Lyra is a beautiful vibrant woman who deserves happiness, and I hope this doesn''t change anyones love for my story.


    Her struggles and hardships are very near and dear to my own heart and soul, and I hope you stick around to hear more of her tale.


    ¡°I was born wrong.¡± I begin, turn my gaze to look out the window. My voice is¡­ calm. Not the broken stuttering thing I expect when recalling old human things. ¡°I¡¯ve always been a girl, but I was born in the wrong body. In the body of a boy. The¡­ the humans that birthed me did not treat me well after I told them. They¡­ hurt me and¡­ Eventually they tried to kill me, and I had to run. I just barely survived them.¡±


    I¡¯m pleasantly surprised by the small smile that creeps through as I get past that and remember the better parts. ¡°A few weeks later my Fae mother found me, pulled me from the underbrush and raised me from there. She was wonderful. I... I remember screaming at her when she... when she called me a boy. And she never made that mistake again. Calls me her little girl now. She''s... She''s better than I deserved, both then and now.¡±


    ¡°I would disagree with that.¡± Awnya interrupts.


    I jerk up in sudden panic and confusion. Is¡­ Did I make a mistake in telling her? Will¡­ is she going to¨C


    ¡°The young. They deserve happiness.¡± She says with no smile or mirth. ¡°Full stop, no exceptions. The parents are the ones who should accept that when they decide to mantle that responsibility.¡±


    A long pause¡­ I just stare at her till she glances up. More parts deep inside shattering at her words. Is¡­ will she accept this? Only my Fae mother ever¡­ ever¡­


    ¡°Oh, sorry.¡± She does smile again then, amber eyes sparkling, ¡°I had to interrupt there. It needed to be said. The humans you mentioned sound lower than pond scum. I¡¯m glad your mother found you and helped you shift into a form that reflects¡­ well¡­ you.¡±


    A deep weight falls off my shoulders, and I can¡¯t stop the tears from welling up then.


    ¡°I¡­ yeah. Thanks.¡± I whisper, furiously wiping at my eyes.


    She nods. ¡°Of course. It¡¯s¡­ well it¡¯s kinda what¡¯s at the heart of being a Fae, I think.¡±


    My face must scream my confusion, because she continues. ¡°Nature is very cruel sometimes. Fae parents often end up adopting the abandoned and injured young who suffer from that. Raise them to learn our songs and become like us, and in turn, they tend to do the same. At least in spirit.¡±


    My face be such a weird mix of wonder at her easy acceptance, and pain at my own thoughts. If that were true, why was it not for me? Why would Usete¡­?


    ¡°Sorry, I keep interrupting.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re okay.¡± I have to continue wiping at tears so I can keep watching her pretty amber eyes. ¡°You guessed at the rest. Usete, they¡­ they came to visit after my final change. I was SO excited to meet my first Fae sibling. But... when I surprised them on the pathway, and they¡­ they got really upset. They didn¡¯t even know about¡­ about the part with my human, um¡­ well the humans I ran away from. Or my first body being wrong. They still don¡¯t know. I... I''m not sure I could trust them with this.¡±


    My voice just¡­ keeps getting quieter and quieter. ¡°Anyway I¡­ Mother told me to go play. Away from the shouting. But, I snuck back in and listened. Usete said they¡¯d get the elders to fix her mistake. To¡­ to¡­ undo what she¡¯d let me become. Take my songs and soul and perfect body.¡±


    She doesn¡¯t interrupt then, just reaches out to grasp my uninjured hand in support. It takes a bit to get to the next part. ¡°She found me later¡­ just, singing my sadness. Joined me. That was our last song before I had to leave.¡±


    Deep breaths.


    ¡°She told me I needed to run. Back to the Dead Dreamer¡¯s Wood.¡± I laugh then, no joy to it. ¡°I¡­ I wouldn¡¯t go. So, she had to toss me over the edge. Like her mother did to her.¡±


    ¡°Back?¡± Awnya asks after a few moments of silence pass.


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Back to the Dreamer¡¯s wood? Like¡­ you¡¯d been there before?¡±


    I nod. ¡°I was wondering at its edges when she found me. She said my tracks showed that I¡¯d passed in and out of it more than a few times.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡± Awnya winces. ¡°Huh¡­¡±


    I take another steadying breath. ¡°She¡­ She also said that¡¯s why she didn¡¯t come to find me afterwards. That she knew I¡¯d be safe in there, even if she wouldn¡¯t be.¡±


    ¡°How long were you able to stay there for since?¡±


    I shrug. ¡°About twelve years. I only left because¡­ um¡­¡±


    Another long pause as I gather myself.


    ¡°We don¡¯t have to get this all out tonight.¡± She whispers. ¡°We can let you rest and¨C¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°I¡¯d rather just¡­ get this over with. Fix whatever is wrong with me so I can go back to Theradas.¡±


    "Lyra you''re... You don''t need fixing. Just healing and rest, and probably some love." She smirks.


    I sigh, disagreement plain in the huff.


    Then She gets us a refill of drinks, and I tell her how I came to meet Undreka, The Reavers, and Thendra. It takes longer than I expect, but... Her pretty eyes and confident smiles get me through it eventually.


    Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.


    *    *    *


    ¡°You want to get some food?¡± Awnya asks after a long enough silence has passed to ensure I am finished speaking. ¡°Before you get some rest?¡±


    It''s so much easier to talk to her about my past. She¡¯d only interrupted to agree when I asked if she wanted to sit on the ledge of the window¡¯s balcony so we¡¯d catch the sunrise. I¡¯d recounted the same tale I told my mother, but was able to move past it to tell Awnya the details of both my curses. About the song I¡¯d wailed after placing it, and ended with Thendra taking me to Theradas. But¡­ no further.


    Awnya didn¡¯t interrupt or show anything more than steady contemplation.


    ¡°I¡­ um¡­¡± I croak dryly, voice a bit raw from the night of talking.


    She moves a hand over to hold mine, outshines the sunlight with her warm smile and radiant eyes. ¡°Thank you for telling me that. I could tell it wasn¡¯t easy.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± I am too tired to feel much at the moment. ¡°Thanks for¡­ for listening.¡±


    She doesn¡¯t push me on it. ¡°You can rest here if you like. There¡¯s food and drink when you¡¯re ready.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ okay. If you''re going out can you tell my mother where I am?¡± I whisper, ¡°I don¡¯t want her to¡­ to think the worse. I want her to know that I wasn¡¯t mad about yesterday. Not at her. That I¡¯m just trying to¡­ to think things through.¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡± She helps me stand. ¡°If it¡¯s alright with you, I¡¯d like to ask her some questions too. About your childhood and time back?¡±


    I nod as she leads me over to the little nook of a bed. I curl up and pass into oblivion.


    *    *    *


    I awaken to twilight, a silent humming, and the sound of my stomach growling.


    I sit up and blearily wipe my eyes, and look up to see amber eyes meet mine from the table.


    ¡°Morning.¡± Awnya hits me with a smile, ending the song.


    I just stare back for a moment, trying to put my thoughts into order. To remember anything through the sudden flutter of¡­ something In my chest. She¡¯s all cleaned up now. New outfit and hair in a neater bundle. Face clean, and I can¡¯t help but stare at the little feathers that press against her bare arms.


    ¡°Thanks for letting me sleep here.¡± I finally whisper.


    I look around, taking in the subtle sounds of the coming night. Surprised I slept the sun and day away. I... It''s a better sleep than I had here in the Fae wood since... well... since the night before I left.


    ¡°Of course.¡± She motions to a tray with food on it. ¡°Help yourself.¡±


    I accept the offer, and enjoy a quiet evening meal. She was twisting and weaving¡­ something, from song and wood. But she doesn''t begin anew after I sit. Just turns to watch the light fade.


    ¡°I wanted to ask if you¡¯d come with me to tonight¡¯s festival.¡±


    I give her a sidelong look. My mother had told me about the Fae artists. Painters, singers, dancers, weavers, and love makers. Beings lost amidst art and passion who devoted their songs to the beauty of expression. Things I¡¯d barely even been able to understand, but wanted so desperately to¨C


    ¡°We¡¯ll be a bit late, but we¡¯ll still catch most of it if we leave now.¡±


    ¡°But¡­ Why?¡± I hesitate. Confused as to the purpose of this?


    ¡°Some singers and dancers I think you¡¯d really enjoy will be performing tonight.¡± She stands.


    I turn forward to look back out the window. Contemplating. Trying to balance the rising desire to go with¡­ what? Guilt? At... at... At going to enjoy some dance and song instead of fighting to get back to Thendra?


    She walks around the table, holds both hands out to me. ¡°C¡¯mon, you¡¯ll love it. I promise.¡±


    Her smile and eyes draw me into a long silence.


    ¡°Really? After what I told you. You.. you want to take me to see some¡­ some performances?¡±


    ¡°Sure!¡± She tilts her head. ¡°Unless¡­ Do you want to talk more about it right now?¡±


    I carefully reach out and take her hand. ¡°Not really.¡±


    Awnya presents me with fresh clothes, and leads me out onto the pathways. It doesn¡¯t get her long to get me jabbering out questions. Wandering about Fae things and¡­ well¡­ of course I had to ask about her gorgeous feathers! She presented them to me, and said I could touch them without the slightest hesitation.


    ¡°Depends where I¡¯m at, honestly.¡± Awnya holds her hand perfectly still while I examine the feathers while we walk. Answering some questions about uses and environments.


    ¡°How so?¡± I don¡¯t even look up, totally enraptured by the cluster of vibrant and very very soft bundles she¡¯s letting me run my fingers through.


    ¡°If I can sing the wind to help out, then these just help me balance.¡± The feathers flex and adjust, pressing into my fingers. ¡°But that can be a pain past some rifts. Like.. If it''s too cold, the sudden gust can freeze them, or if there¡¯s too much sand then I¡¯ll end up spending hours later trying to clean that out.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ what do you do then?¡±


    ¡°Quick and dirty rush of energy, basically adjust my body to run or jump harder depending on my need.¡±


    ¡°Wow. That¡¯s¨C¡± I make the mistake of looking up into her eyes and freezing up.


    She¡¯s smirking playfully.


    I quickly glance away, trying to hide a rush of heat. But then I notice the glow ahead.


    ¡°Oh!¡± Her feathers fold back up into her and she turns her hand out, an offer. ¡°It¡¯s just up there!¡±


    I accept, and she leads me up over a final slope of the branch.


    Ahead is another twisting of half a dozen bigger branches to form a large flat plateau. On it, at least a hundred circular things¡­ have been sung from the branches and plants growing from it. An almost¡­ pulsing, emits from it. Dozens of separate songs thrumming in a discordant, rhythmic symphony. Thousands more of those budding light plants tangle about the sight, glowing all different hues and vibrancy.


    And that¡¯s not even the part that makes me stop in place in awe and fear.


    Moving, flying, dancing and flitting about like ants over a nest, are the Fae themselves. I¡­ it¡¯s almost too much to even describe all the different shapes and colors. Each more unique than the last. Most wear weavings of creatures, both native to this forest and to ones beyond. A few wear some type of covering, but plenty more don¡¯t. Either displaying everything they are for any and all to enjoy.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not sure I¡­¡± I notice Awnya staring at me from the corner of my eye. She gives my hand a light squeeze, but doesn¡¯t try to move me.


    ¡°It¡¯s a lot, isn¡¯t it.¡± She smiles.


    I nod.


    ¡°Is it too much?¡±


    ¡°No. I just¡­¡±


    I look over to her, hope for some ambient courage. ¡°I don¡¯t belong down there.¡± I whisper, give her what must be a sad smile.


    She tilts her head, confused. ¡°Huh?¡±


    I sigh, look down at myself while my free hand runs through my hair. ¡°I¡¯m barely Fae. Especially without my songs.¡±


    ¡°Heh¡­ That¡¯s¡­ Lyra, you''re going to be the most Fae person down there. Besides maybe me.¡±


    I snort, look away. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m being serious. Compared to you¡­ I¡¯m just¡­ I just look like some ugly human.¡±


    ¡°You really think that?¡± She just¡­ stares at me. I can only meet her gaze for a few seconds before I turn back to stare down at the celebrations.


    I shrug.


    ¡°First off¡­ you¡¯re gorgeous, Lyra.¡± She moves to step back into my vision. ¡°Seriously, your work on this body is really amazing! I keep spotting Fae eyeing you with Jealousy, and even more than that.¡±


    I can feel the heat rising on my cheeks.


    ¡°Your hair is wonderful! Dark and soft, very perfect.¡± She reaches out and gently pushes a lock that fell to cover a side of my face, ¡°And I know this isn¡¯t¡­ like¡­ intentional¡­¡± She brings up the hand she holds, runs a finger over the numb darkness. ¡°But¡­ even I have to admit that you make this look good!¡±


    ¡°Stop!¡± I huff. ¡°You don¡¯t need to¨C¡±


    One finger, careful and quick, touches the bottom of my chin. Reflex makes me look up to lock eyes with her.


    ¡°And in the middle of it all¡­ your eyes are just¡­¡± She just stares, smile gone. ¡°Dreamers Tits, It¡¯s like you''re trying to¡­¡±


    She doesn¡¯t continue.


    ¡°What?¡± I whisper. ¡°Like I¡¯m trying to what?¡±


    A pause, then she whispers. ¡°Did you choose this color? This¡­ hue? How do you even make them glow?¡±


    I sigh, ¡°No. It''s just¡­ I wanted green at first. But¡­ Every few days they kept shifting. So I stopped bothering.¡±


    ¡°Hm¡­¡± She pauses, thoughtful, then smirks. ¡°Well¡­ you¡¯d be striking either way. But this looks really really good.¡±


    I take a deep breath. Fight down the blush. ¡°Thanks, but¡­ I still don¡¯t have all the changes other Fae have.¡±


    ¡°Do you want them?¡±


    I think about it. Surprised at my own thoughts I just let them pour out. ¡°I don¡¯t know. Some look really fun and amazing. But¡­¡± I trail off. Can¡¯t form the correct words under her gaze.


    ¡°They don¡¯t feel like you.¡± It¡¯s not a question. She gets it right away... somehow!


    ¡°Exactly.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what makes you Fae!¡±


    ¡°How?¡± I shake my head. ¡°Songs are¡­ being able to sing and twist yourself on a whim¡­ that¡¯s¡­ Look, Awnya, almost everyone who¡¯s met me for the first time over the past month couldn¡¯t even tell I was Fae. Didn¡¯t even believe me at first when they were told.¡±


    She laughs at that. ¡°That¡¯s not a bad thing, especially beyond the Rifts. But to your first point, How is it more Fae to try and mimic the creatures of the forest, than it is to desire your body to simply be what you always wanted? Even if it is a gorgeous mostly human shape?¡±


    I shrug.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s tits, I know it''s more than you could have even imagined when you were young.¡±


    I sigh, nod. ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°Fae don¡¯t dream of what we are, but of what we want to be.¡± She takes my other hand, ¡°Everyday you fight to be that, in every way you can, that¡¯s what makes you Fae.¡±


    She pulls, very gently, leading down the sloped path. ¡°Especially since you were dreaming of it before you knew any songs.¡±


    That absorbs my thoughts as she pulls me toward the intoxicating whirlwind of light and music.

 Chapter 23: Happiest Death Possible

    Content Warning:


    Sex, and big emotions. Very gay. Run away if scared of these things.


    I¡¯m a mess of tears and joy and absolute overstimulation as the final note crashes down on my body and soul.


    It was a masterpiece of song and story told beneath one of the larger little branch woven amphitheaters. Dancers were all enraptured by the undertow of the tale, and the jolt of its end was a shock to my mind.


    I didn¡¯t understand all of the Fae words, but the¡­ the flow of it was clear as springwater. A story of a trio of lovers, constantly separated by tragedy and desire. At the end they found each other after a century of pain and misfortune, spent many more together, and shared one final farewell and embrace as they chose to exit the dream together. Unraveling their bodies with one final song.


    At some point Awnya had wrapped an arm around me, and the warmth of her embrace helped my soul endure the more painful parts of the performance.


    There is a pause as the weight of the end washes over and through the Fae. Then an uproarious chorus of song and discordant praise erupts and slams into the performers as they move center stage to bow.


    I join my songless voice to the cry of love and thanks.


    It doesn¡¯t really quiet, but many stand to approach the performers'' circle, Awnya and I are content to just¡­ sit and absorb the harmony and aura of the whole endeavor.


    I have no words as I reflect upon it all. On the love and tragedy. On the different characters¡¯ personalities and flaws, and how they fought through it all to be together.


    And how now¡­ they were all three dead and gone from the dream.


    I don¡¯t even try to stop the tears that pour down my cheeks as I look up at the moon and stars above. The characters weren''t real¡­ probably. But¡­ How many times has this same story played out? How often had they found happiness at the end?


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± Awnya has to nearly shout, and I look over to see her wiping away her own tears. ¡°That was¡­¡±


    I just¡­ nod, a smile betwixt joy and sorrow on my own face. Then reach up to the hand around my shoulder and hold it.


    ¡°Thank you for bringing me.¡± I blubber out.


    She smiles through her own tears. She¡¯s so gorgeous¡­ even when she¡¯s crying.


    The thought startles me. I feel my eyebrows furrow in confusion as I wonder how much of the sudden fluttering in my heart at her is just leftover echoes of love and romance from the performance¡­ and how much of it is¡­ just¡­ me?


    * * *


    We¡¯re not able to really talk until we have truly left the plateau of song and wonder. With little sweet fruits in hand Awnya leads us back along the quiet pathways.


    ¡°Sorry it was so¡­¡± She sighs. ¡°I didn¡¯t¡­ didn¡¯t expect them to go the way they did with that. These things normally have happier endings.¡±


    I smile, tears threatening to come back again. We¡¯d both had to slow down or stop a few times since leaving. The songs of the lovers'' sorrows still echo through our thoughts.


    ¡°It was perfect.¡± I reply softly. ¡°The happiest ending possible.¡±


    She glances over, gives me that little pretty head tilt. ¡°The constant tears disagree.¡±


    Warmth rolls down my spine. I fight to ignore it as I answer. ¡°Ending their part in the dream, dying, isn¡¯t¡­ It isn¡¯t a sad ending. It¡¯s¡­¡± I take a deep steadying breath. ¡°I¡¯d hate to pass alone in silence. Especially if I can go in the arms of someone I¨C¡±


    Love.


    That stops me in my tracks.


    Thendra doesn¡¯t love you, and never will¡­


    The tears hit me again as the songs of the story weave together into shapes I¡¯d never know. Even amidst all of the sex Thendra¡¯s inflicted upon me.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Sh- she...¡± I begin to stammer as Awnya¡¯s other hand moves to my back, rubs small circles in misunderstood comfort as I blubber out. ¡°Maybe she could eventually¡­ someday¡­¡±


    ¡­Love a slave?


    End up needing to sit down as I begin to weep at the stupid thought. Awnya kneels beside me on the side of the abandoned pathway, and as my sobs continue to grow she pulls me into a hug.


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    ¡°I¡¯m sorry Lyra.¡± I think she understands who she is. ¡°I''m so¡­ so sorry. You are so strong and amazing, beautiful and soft and so kind! You deserve more than¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I hiss, as that makes me weep for an entirely different reason. ¡°I don''t!!! I¡¯m an ugly messed up thing that doesn''t deserve¨C¡±


    ¡°Lyra!¡± She squeezes me gently but firmly.


    ¡°I court death and pain and misery in my very soul.¡± I wail Thendra¡¯s words. ¡°I don¡¯t deserve a happy end! Just¡­ just¡­ What little Dreamer Blighted pleasure I can take!¡±


    A pause.


    ¡°May I see?¡±


    Confusion causes a stutter in my tumble of sobbing madness.


    ¡°May I look at your Amwella?¡± She pulls me up, smiles at my tear-stained mess of a face. ¡°Will you give me permission to see your soul?¡±


    I hiccup. ¡°You¡­ You didn¡¯t already?¡±


    She shakes her head. ¡°It¡¯s kinda rude to do to another Fae without permission.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± I whisper, don¡¯t even try and wipe the tears away. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know if I can handle you seeing¡­ seeing how bad it is.¡±


    She squeezes my hands. ¡°I can weave a Fae song that will let us both see each other¡¯s Amwella.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I can see Amwella if I need to.¡± I murmur. ¡°The curse doesn¡¯t stop that.¡±


    ¡°Can you see more than the size and basic shape?¡± She asks, ¡°The colors and texture? The¡­ Deeper things?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°No. I didn¡¯t¡­ didn¡¯t even know there was more to see.¡±


    ¡°Would you like me to sing it then?¡±


    Don¡¯t trust myself with words. So I just take a deep breath, and nod.


    Then she Sings. It¡¯s a low and¡­ almost haunting thing. But her voice is¡­ it¡¯s so soft and soothing and perfect.


    A moment passes, then a golden flame stirs and glows from her. It¡¯s no bigger than mine, perhaps even smaller. But¡­ there¡¯s a density to it. It¡¯s packed with energy that swirls and dances and flits about in a whirlwind of shifting hues.


    I have to bite my lip from gasping at its beauty as more details begin to unravel, given to me by her song. Emotions and the imprints of thoughts and memories curl weave through it. I can see her wonderfully complex mind work as it drifts through the song she sings, while another part of her observes my own. But¡­ There''s still so much more! More than a lifetime of watching could reveal!


    I find myself enraptured by this brilliant Fae of adventure and wanderlust, somehow barely older than me. Then I begin to understand her current emotions¡­ Wonder at first¡­ then amazement, and¡­ confusion, sadness, anger, fury, admiration, desire, and so¡­ So much more flood through her as she peers into my soul.


    She sees me¡­ and¡­ and she means what she said¡­ she¡­ she thinks I¡¯m¡­ That my soul is something amazing and¨C


    I jerk to meet her eyes, and through them the details of her thoughts and soul are magnified. Focused. A wordless mix of all the above emotions as she tries to process and delve into the depths of my soul while noticing me doing the same. Her eyes glance up to mine, and for once¡­ she doesn¡¯t smirk.


    Just¡­ ends the song.


    Eyes wide with a few tears still deciding if they want to fall, she just¡­ stares at me. The hands holding mine start to shake. If it weren¡¯t for what I¡¯d just seen I¡¯d think she saw something different. Something horrible... but... no.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± She whispers. ¡°Thank you for¨C¡±


    She cuts off as a hand touches her face. It takes me a moment to realize that, yes¡­ those are my charcoal black fingers. I consider pulling them back, fear and panic begin to bubble up at¨C


    But Awnya does the same while reaching up to hold mine in place.


    Then at almost at the same time, we''re leaning forward, scooting closer, and moving to press our lips together. Overwhelmed by some¡­ deep hunger and longing to feel the soul of another pressed close.


    The kiss is slow and soft. Warm and steady and just¡­ perfect sweetness. Then she is pulling me back, coaxing me to fall on top of her. And before I know it I am straddling Awnya. I move to kiss the tears from her eyes, trail lips across her face and nose and chin. She laughs, and I can¡¯t stop a giggle from sputtering up. The laughter releases some deep weight I didn¡¯t know was bottled up. Tears I don¡¯t understand begin to leak, but when Awnya sees them she pulls me down so her lips can kiss away even the memory of sadness.


    ¡°Is this okay?¡± She murmurs, cupping my face as the laughter and tears seem to pause. ¡°I¡­ I forgot how intense these things can be. I don¡¯t want to pull you into anything you don¡¯t want, Lyra. Especially not while you¡¯re healing.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sorry. Yes.¡± I nod furiously. ¡°Yes please. I need this.¡±


    She smiles, studies me for a second, then slides arms around my neck to pull me down into another slow kiss. Her lips are soft and wonderful and fit deftly against mine. Eventually I can¡¯t stop my hands from wandering up and down her sides, quickly frustrated by the cloth that separates fingers from skin.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± She murmurs through the kiss. I pull back. Dizzy and short of breath.


    ¡°As much as I would love to continue¡­¡± She huffs, takes a second to recover her own breath with a smirk. ¡°I just remembered we¡¯re on the side of a pathway.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ um¡­¡±


    ¡°How about we go back to my place?¡±


    **    **    **


    We barely make it in as Awnya tosses her tunic aside, then turns to help pull mine up and off.


    I pause, smitten by the sight of her amber eyes and gorgeous golden skin and a¡­ a smirk from her that asks ¡®what are you waiting for?¡¯


    Memories of the Amwella sight have cooled, but¡­ now there¡¯s a stirring warmth rolling down my spine. So I take her face in my hands and kiss her. Still very soft, but with an anticipation tempered by an hour-long walk that had felt like much much longer. She drapes arms over my shoulders, relaxes into it. I nearly carry her over to the bed, only pausing to shed our remaining underthings and shoes. The bed is small, which only means I have to curl my body over hers. Neither of us mind that as our legs twist and press up against sensitive areas. My hands wander to hips, then up to breasts and¨C


    I hesitate. Sudden realization that I don¡¯t¡­ that I¡¯d never actually pleasured anyone and I have very little idea how to continue.


    Awnya arches her hips into my leg, lets out a little moan as her breasts brush against my fingers and tongue flicks out to play against my lips. And I forget my worries. When I finally think to try and use fingers to pleasure her, and low moans signal an eventual easy climax to our first dance, my Amwella sight flickers to life and I¡¯m enraptured as I watch our souls entangle with each other.


    Mine curls around hers, and before I can even begin to fear an eruption of teeth and horror at watching my soul hurt her¡­ it simply¡­ snuggles and licks at hers. Like fire against ice, some of her melts and seeps into my core. I can¡¯t help but shiver at the pleasure of it. It¡­ It¡¯s as good as the physical stuff. Almost¡­ almost better. She trembles too, a sparkle in her eyes showing me that she watched it happen and loves this. As our souls part a little smudge of¡­ of me is left on her as well.


    Deep breaths, I remind myself as I trail kisses down her neck. She leans up to nibble on my shoulder, and eventually twists and moves to lay atop me. Slowly, and so much more experienced than I was, with fingers and kisses and warmth she brings me into a shuddering climax. I brace for pain as I watch her Amwella curl around mine and¨C


    Oh¡­ Oh Dreamer¡¯s Clit and Cunt!


    A warmth floods my soul while fire bursts from my flesh under her gentle workings. I¡¯m left a twitching puddle beneath her as she snuggles down atop my pleasure drowned form.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits! It¡¯s like... Like my soul getting a big warm hug after a long journey through a freezing storm. N¨C No pain at all! Just... warmth and pleasure and... and the orgasm is the best I''ve ever had! The soul hug basically caused a second one atop the first. But... Deeper and more filling!


    Once the heat of desire returns, she dances with me four more times before we collapse into exhaustion and sleep. Amwella flickering together in happy satisfaction. Little smudges and love marks left all about our souls and bodies.

 Chapter 24: Pleasure and Purpose

    I push up blearily and with some stiffness, but nothing Thendra hasn¡¯t inflicted me with before after a busy night of feeding. But¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits does my soul feel wonderful today! So perfectly healed after what must have been at least four or five feedings.


    I let out a yawn, and after a moment of light magicless humming to let her know I¡¯m awake before asking. ¡°May I sing?¡±


    There is a pause, very normal for her to wake up and consider this, but she never denies me my morning songs of¨C


    ¡°Hmm?¡± An unfamiliar voice.


    I jerk, eyes flash open. Sudden fear that I¡¯ve been left in bed with one of her Reavers and¨C


    But¡­ the lightly sunbathed room isn¡¯t my home in Theradas. And I look down to see not the hungry Jade of Thendra¡¯s gaze, but the warm Gold and amber of¡­ of¡­


    ¡­Awnya.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡± I stare down at her with horror and worry and embarrassment.


    A hand touches my face, brow furrows in thought. Then she smiles, and it¡¯s such a wonderful thing. All warmth and confidence and¡­ something else. Something¡­ not new. But¡­


    ¡°You alright?¡± She whispers.


    I can¡¯t help but lean into the touch. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°First embrace can do that,¡± She murmurs. ¡°You feel good though?¡±


    ¡°Better than good, that was¡­ but it wasn¡¯t my first time!¡± I stammer. ¡°I¡¯ve never felt so¡­ so complete the next morning! Never after¡­ ¡±


    She doesn¡¯t interrupt after I trail off, doesn¡¯t move or squirm at the sudden comparison. If she had I¡­ I don¡¯t think I¡¯d have been very okay continuing. She just¡­ waits. Slides a hand into mine to let me know she¡¯s here and I can take all the time I need.


    ¡°Thendra¡­ she¡­¡± I can¡¯t stop the tears. ¡°Why didn¡¯t she do this with me!?! I¡­ I know she would have loved it. It would have been wonderful and so much better than¡­ than¡­ when she¡­ She just¨C¡±


    Took and took and took. Big bites while leaving you shivering with body pleasure but¡­ starving.


    Awnya shifts us so she can sit up, but still keeps me on her lap, my legs wrapped around her waist. Pulls me into a hug. But¡­ doesn¡¯t say anything. Doesn¡¯t press me for more details. Just¡­ lets me decide if I want to continue talking.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits,¡± I curse through it, ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m so sorry. Last night was so amazing and I¡¯m ruining everything with¨C¡±


    She just shushes me with little cooing nothings. Showers me with comforting squeezes, caresses and kisses.


    ¡°Thank you for sharing yourself with me,¡± She whispers. ¡°Your soul is such a wondrous thing. So warm and very tasty.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but giggle at her, ¡°Yours was too.¡±


    ¡°Want breakfast?¡±


    I pull back, look into her eyes. ¡°Yes. But¡­ can¡­ I mean if you''re still¡­¡±


    She quirks an eyebrow, content to let me figure out the words I want to use.


    ¡°Can I eat you? More?¡± I huff, ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ve wanted to try using my mouth to¡­¡±


    She laughs, warm and excited. ¡°That is one of the best things you can ask almost anyone, Fae or not.¡± Then she pulls me into a deep kiss and we fall back into the bed.


    ** ** **


    ¡°I¡­ I could try to sing the word of it.¡± I finally murmur to the Fae prodding at the Lament on my backside.


    I¡¯m sitting backwards on one of Awnya¡¯s chairs, elbows crossed and my chin resting on them as they sit on its back. Three deft fingers poke and pull at the Lament on my flank. Awnya perks up at that from her seat next to me.


    I can feel Equin, the woman examining my curse, pause, ¡°Really? You can focus through this? Channel Amwella and form a melody?¡±


    Awnya nods, ¡°I saw her almost complete a Riftwalking song three times about a week ago.¡± She reaches out to take my hand, squeezes.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits. That¡­ that must have really¡­¡± Then I can almost hear her bounce with excitement. ¡°That would actually really help.¡±


    Awnya had told me that she knew a Fae whom she thought would be perfect for my needs. Someone who studied and kept some of the Fae¡¯s oldest records on the Laments, the Cursed Wood, and the Dead Dreamer herself.


    Equin was the second ¡®Elder¡¯ to visit me. I¡¯d found out then that being an elder was determined by experience and interest, not age. Awnya was only actually older than me by about a decade, while Equin was actually a year younger. The oldest elders might have centuries of understanding on a thing, and such beings were greatly respected. Apparently we Fae are obsessive. When we commit to a thing it''s apparently very normal for us to become enraptured by it for a very long time.


    It had been my choice if I wanted her to come take a look at my curses, and I¡¯d needed a few days of just Awnya and I spending time together to finally agree. She hadn¡¯t pushed. Just¡­ mentioned it. Asked me to think about it.


    I¡¯d frozen up, hesitated. Warm glow of her eyes and smile pinning me against that rotten hope. The thing I had killed and buried.


    The desire to have my songs back.


    But¡­ Better cursed than alone. Is all that I could hear clawing at my mind. It took all day of adventures through the Fae-wood and an evening of warm snuggles and sex for me to finally feel a spark of hope amidst the stagnation in my soul at the idea.


    I¡¯m not¡­ not alone, am I? Thendra¡­ she isn¡¯t the only person who¡­ The thought stings. Hurts like waking up after sleeping all night on an arm to find it numb and angry. I couldn¡¯t help the tears it brought. But¡­ I still want her. Curse or no.


    ¡°Okay.¡± I whispered into the dark as I lay atop Awnya on that third evening.


    ¡°Hmm?¡± She¡¯d already begun to drift into slumber.


    ¡°Sorry.¡± I lifted myself up, looked down at her. ¡°I¡­ that woman you mentioned. I¡­ I wouldn¡¯t mind her taking a look at them.¡±


    She nodded, sliding warm wonderful arms around me.


    She understands, on some level, how hard that was for me to agree to. I¡­ I still haven¡¯t told her more about Thendra. But¡­ Little bursts and bits have come stammering out at random times. Normally amidst tears and the need for cuddles.


    ¡°Do you need anything before you try it?¡± Awnya asks, pulling me from the memories.


    ¡°Water.¡± I whisper, then take a few steady breaths. ¡°Mostly for after though.¡±


    She nods and rises. Equin stops touching, leans back to wait.


    ¡°You ready?¡± I finally ask as Awnya returns with the drink.


    ¡°Mhm!¡± Equin replies. ¡°I¡¯ll be matching yours with a harmony of Amwella sight for myself if that¡¯s alright?¡±


    I just nod, then plunge myself down toward my Amwella. Begin to gather it up as the words of the Lament scorch my soul. Maybe it¡¯s that I hadn¡¯t endured pain for almost a week now, maybe it was the memory of the last time I¡¯d sung this, or¡­ or maybe because I knew this was a betrayal that Thendra would never forgive if she found out about it.


    On the third try I finally am able to push through the pain and bitter guilt to form the word of the horrid curse.


    I will only sing when commanded by Thendra.


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    I will always sing when commanded by Thendra.


    I will only stop singing when commanded by Thendra.


    I cough and spit blood and bile. End up burying my face into my arms as choking sobs of pain tear through me. Awnya¡¯s hand rubs anxious circles over my back and neck as I hear her trying to urge me to drink. Equin goes quiet as I obey and take a long gulp of water, then moves to stand beside us at the table. Once I¡¯m recovered Awnya insists she take her chair and moves to stand behind me herself, hands working at the knots and tension in my shoulders.


    ¡°So¡­ You told me the first curse was a duality. One of Sympathy and Spite.¡±


    I nod.


    She taps the table. ¡°Even if you didn¡¯t know the Fae words, you knew that to make the curse hit the hardest you¡¯d have to not just anchor it to yourself, but twist it before linking her to you with it.¡±


    I raise an eyebrow, tired and still hurting and confused. ¡°I¡­ No I¡­ I just¡­ needed her to know I meant what I was offering.¡±


    ¡°It''s¡­ a reflection, not a mimic.¡± She offers, ¡°It will, say, hurt you if you try and seek out this Undreka person to kiss her.¡±


    ¡°Um¡­¡± I shake myself from bleary thoughts. ¡°It was supposed to be in any capacity. Like¡­ even if I wanted to hurt her.¡±


    Equin smiles and shakes her head. ¡°Eh¡­ Well, it didn¡¯t come out that way. Could have been because of the language you used, but¡­¡±


    I jerk, almost shoot to my feet. ¡°Thendra, she wants to¨C¡±


    Awnya just barely stops me. ¡°Woah woah, just¡­ let her finish?¡±


    Equin raises both hands. ¡°Thendra is the person who got the spite side of this? Then Undreka is safe. Her reflection of the curse does the opposite of yours. It¡¯ll only let her go near her in love or indifference.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ OH!¡± I realize. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to make it like that.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if it would have worked so well any other way. It¡¯s a really mean thing you knit.¡± Equin shrugs. ¡°But if she wants to hurt this Undreka as much as you wanted to save her then... she¡¯s perfectly safe.¡±


    Awnya moves to give me a hug from behind. ¡°I believe the words, kill, gut, and drink were used?¡±


    I shiver, nod.


    ¡°Sorry.¡± Awnya gives me a squeeze. ¡°Just wanted to eh¡­ make sure.¡±


    Equin¡¯s eyes go a bit wide. ¡°Yeah¡­ yeah this curse will probably kill her if she tried most of¡­ that.¡±


    ¡°Sorry.¡± I murmur.


    ¡°Nope it¡­ it ties it all together.¡± She sighs. ¡°I¡­ This Thendra must be a pretty scary person to need something this nasty to keep Undreka safe.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s¡­ She can be really¡­¡± I clamp my mouth shut. A long pause passes.


    Awnya gives me one final squeeze and pulls back. ¡°So. What about this other one?¡±


    ¡°Ah, yes¡­¡± Equin pauses, seeming a bit uncomfortable. ¡°I¡­ I think this one will be a bit more complex, to nullify or¡­¡±


    Part of me sighs in relief at the revelation. Another smaller, older and rotten part begins to scream in anger.


    Equin gathers her thoughts, ¡°It¡¯s¡­ Single soulbound. The language is pretty strict and non-ambiguous, so that¡¯s why its bite is way harder. I¡¯d call it a Lamentation of Pleasure and Purpose.¡±


    I jerk my head up at her words. Thendra¡¯s offer ringing and tearing my soul in two.


    Equin sighs. ¡°But it¡­ Well¡­ these things are hard to pin down exactly. So long as you desire and seek those two things from this Thendra person, your songs are hers.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ you''re saying that if she just¡­ stopped. Got herself to never want¡­ those things. The curse would fall apart?¡± Awnya pipes up, a hint of anticipation and excitement breaking through.


    Why even ask these stupid questions? Why does it even matter? I¡­ I¡¯ll never not want her. Never feel good about singing without her.


    Equin shakes her head. ¡°Even if it was that simple, the curse is still¡­¡± She wobbles about, fighting for words. ¡°It¡¯s a complex binding. I doubt there even is a way to break it, but if there was, you¡¯d want to start there.¡±


    The Matron¡¯s words drift through me like the last bitter winds of winter. Her description of my curses. How she called them brittle.


    Was she just¡­ lying the entire time?


    ** ** **


    I fall into a routine with Awnya after that. Days of running about the Midday Court and experiencing all its wonders and joys, while nights were spent in her arms. I¡­ I almost come apart more than a few times. She doesn¡¯t push me to talk if I don¡¯t want to, doesn¡¯t try and pry my emotions free to examine and dissect. And¡­ I love her all the more for that.


    Huh¡­ Love?


    I¡­ I¡¯m not sure I know what that really is. She¡¯s shared more soul gazes with me, and if it wasn¡¯t for the flitters of my violet outlined in black her Amwella cradles with such care and admiration I¡¯m not sure I would call what we have love.


    But I do weep every time I see the same things I feel reflected back at me in her soul.


    I¡­ I still want Thendra. Still find myself aching and cold some nights for her. But¡­ I don¡¯t want to leave Awnya. Can¡¯t imagine a world without her golden eyes, easy smiles, and warm Amwella melting into mine.


    ¡°So¡­¡± Awnya says one morning as we both enjoy breakfast together. ¡°I¡¯ll need to head out for a bit. Couple days, three at most.¡±


    I almost drop the fruit I had in my hands. ¡°What?¡±


    She smirks with an easy shrug but¡­ can¡¯t meet my eyes. ¡°Nothing to worry about. I just¡­ need to check in with someone. I eh¡­¡±


    She¡¯s lying. Why would she lie? Is¡­ is she getting someone to do something to me?


    A long pause, she glances up to find me staring.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits, Yeah sorry. I¡­¡± She sighs, but still smiles. ¡°Sorry. It¡¯s¡­ Usete was supposed to be back by now.¡±


    Cold fear. Terror for my beloved sibling. It¡¯s been almost three weeks since they¡¯d dropped me off here. Terror grips me at the thought that they might have been caught¡­ been hurt or worse. By either Thendra¡­ or the Matron.


    I¡¯m not sure who would be worse.


    Awnya holds up both hands as she sees the rising panic play out on my face.


    ¡°Rorliras are tricky things, and if the bitch who managed to open it tried something stupid¡­ well¡­ It would take a while for Usete to deal with. It¡¯s probably nothing.¡±


    ¡°Okay. I¡¯m coming with you.¡± I immediately stand. Breakfast forgotten.


    ¡°Ah¡­ No.¡± She doesn¡¯t rise with me as her smile turns strained.


    ¡°You don¡¯t know that city, don¡¯t know¡­¡± I stammer, ¡°If¡­ if they¡¯ve been captured or hurt or¨C¡±


    ¡°Lyra¡­¡± She gives me a sad smile. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ but, No. I need to move fast and unseen. And you¡­¡±


    She doesn¡¯t finish aloud, but I see the unspoken words make her wince. Don¡¯t have any songs. I¡¯m not Fae enough to help.


    I dig blackened talons into the wood of the table. ¡°But¡­ I can¡­ I¡¯ll deal with the pain of it. They¡¯re my beloved sibling. I¡­ They¡­ they did try to¡­ They¡¯re trying to fix things for me!¡±


    I don¡¯t say the rest, how I could talk to Thendra. Get her help. But¡­ that I wouldn¡¯t come back afterwards.


    ¡°I know. You''re so strong, Lyra. But¡­ You¡¯d break yourself for them.¡± Awnya does stand then, moves to wrap fingers around my hands and pull them free before I can hurt myself. Brings them up to her lips to kiss them. ¡°Right now the best thing you can do is stay here and heal. Usete would never forgive me if I brought you back, especially now.¡±


    I¡¯m crying then. Caught between desires and hatred for how useless I am. And she holds me through it. Settles us to sit on her little bed while I fall apart.


    ¡°I think you should stay at your mother¡¯s till I come back.¡± She suggests as my tears settle. ¡°She¡¯d love to have you about some more.¡±


    I wipe my eyes, ¡°Maybe.¡±


    ¡°Please? It¡¯ll take a load off me to know you¡¯re not alone.¡±


    So that afternoon I¡¯m saying goodbye to her at the edge of my mother¡¯s grove. I¡¯ve pulled her into another long warm kiss, and would have begged her to embrace me once more before she leaves if it weren¡¯t for my mother waiting back in the doorway to the house.


    ¡°Be back before you know it.¡± She whispers through a grin.


    ¡°Please be safe.¡± I plead as I drop useless talons to my sides.


    ¡°Always!¡± She grins, draws out a lilting song similar to Usete¡¯s riftwalking melody, and disappears into a rift of azure light and warm spiced sand. I fight the urge to try and dart in after her just before the thing snaps closed.


    It takes me half an hour to move, and I¡¯m so grateful to my mother for just¡­ letting me stand there.


    But Awnya doesn¡¯t return the next day.


    Or the day after that.


    Or¡­ well¡­ It¡¯s day six now.


    I stand on the back of the grove, glaring out over the spot where I was pushed. Considering the melody of the Riftwalking songs as I try to ignore the broken fingers the last four attempts have gotten me.


    ¡°Little Girl.¡± My mother whispers from behind me.


    ¡°I¡­ I have to help them.¡± I don¡¯t even look back at her.


    And¡­ This isn¡¯t my life. Isn¡¯t¡­ I promised myself to someone. Sold her my soul. I have to go back.


    She doesn¡¯t reply.


    ¡°They could both be¡­ be hurt. Or worse.¡± I hiss, coaxing my Amwella to boil and writhe.


    Still¡­ she remains quiet.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare try to stop me.¡± I feel the Amwella begin to wrap and coil around my fingers. The curse is starting to bite already, trying to drain me of my beautiful gold and violet Amwella mixture.


    ¡°Do you remember what I told you, the last time you were here?¡± She whispers.


    I glare back over my shoulder, see her tearstained face. Can¡¯t speak as the song begins to bubble up from my throat.


    So I nod.


    ¡°Good.¡± She smiles. ¡°And¡­ I¡¯ll always be here if you need a safe place to rest.¡±


    That makes me drop the Amwella and song, turn back, and pull her into a warm hug.


    ¡°I love you Mom.¡± I sob.


    ¡°I love you too.¡± She returns the hug with double the force.


    When we finally pull away, I know what I need to do. Know how to force my way through the Rift. I turn, run, and jump. Amidst the rush and fall, I scream and without hesitation I tear the fabric between dream apart.


    In hindsight, that was dumb.


    While the momentum and rush of the fall gave me the emotional shift to slot the final notes into place, it also meant that afterwards I¡¯d be moving at speed.


    Sideways.


    So¡­ I end up shooting and tumbling across the sandstone streets of Theradas, until the hard wooden doors stop me with a painful slam. I spit bile and cough blood for a few moments, head alight with wiggling stars and disjointed colors. But eventually I¡¯m able to recover my senses and take stock of myself.


    Cuts, bruises, right hand is an absolutely useless mangled mess that still crackles with Amwella. Blood seems to drip over one eye. But¡­ soon I¡¯ll be able to sing without pain, and none of this will matter!


    That brings my world into focus, and gives me the energy to stand. I turn and examine the door. There are no locks, just¡­ a couple big metal rings. So I simply reach out, grip one, and push with my good hand and shoulder. It¡¯s heavy. And takes me a full minute to grind it open enough for me to slip inside, all huff and gasping breaths.


    I turn and¨C


    Five Reavers stand amidst the fluffy couch things, claws and eyes alert and ready for danger. It¡¯s¡­ I don¡¯t¡­ the old memories of their feedings threaten to claw at the back of my mind, but at this moment I don¡¯t care. All that floods my addled mind is the overwhelming heat and scent of spice in the air.


    I can¡¯t help but smile at them, and feel a bit of water gather in my eyes. They look at each other, a hint of relaxation, but¡­ worry. Hesitation. Have¡­ do they¡­ Is Thendra still okay?


    That sends a panic to cut though my joy like ice.


    ¡°Is Thendra here?¡± I ask.


    One murmurs something to another, then they take off running up the stairs. Fast as a quick breath. I bite my lower lip, and over the next few moments a few other Reavers come into the room. I notice Hundat, her face remains¡­ blank.


    Drip drip drip


    I look down, notice my hand has started to leave little blood droplets on the tiles below. The pain starts to reach me then too. Muscles and bones and skin beginning to alert me to all the problems and¨C


    A shadow falls over me. I jerk up to jade eyes and a face of stone.


    But I can¡¯t keep the stupid grin off my face. ¡°Hi.¡±


    A flicker of something¡­ not amusement. Annoyance is what radiates off her as Thendra carefully, and very slowly, reaches past me and pushes the door shut with ease.


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sorry I¡­¡±


    She doesn¡¯t move her arm, simply releases the handle of the door to slide it up so that it sits next to my face. ¡°It has been¡­ weeks.¡± Her voice is flat, hard. Controlled.


    Does¡­ does she still¡­?


    I huff, muddled joy tainted by fear. ¡°I¡­ Riftwalking is hard.¡± I raise up my mangled mess of a hand. ¡°Took me a bit to get the song right.¡±


    She growls at that. ¡°You sing without my command?¡±


    ¡°Well it was either that, or wait for¡­ for¨C¡± I mumble, looking away. Then I realize the phrasing of her words. Sing. Not¡­ you sang. You sing. As in currently! And the core of her anger snaps into focus.


    ¡°The Lament is still intact, Thendra.¡± I jerk back, smile returning. That seems to jolt her. It¡¯s subtle, but I notice the shift in her, and the room of Reavers behind her. ¡°The Fae¡­ they¡­¡± I huff again, drop my mangled hand, look up to meet her eyes. Try to convey my tired and anxious pain.


    ¡°May I sing? Please?¡±


    She can¡¯t seem to stop a little quirk at the edge of her lips, but her eyes remain wary.


    ¡°Upstairs.¡± She purrs.


    Welcome back to Theradas.

 Chapter 25: Promises Kept

    Content warning:


    Violent sex. Lyra ''thinks'' she consents to it. But... Power dynamics, the threats of violence, and coercion can and do mark this as an assault.


    Also, a threat of an assault at the end of the chapter which is implied to have been carried out between this one and the next.


    As my songs ends, the pain all fades. Dreamer¡¯s Tits It feels so good to sing without the curse¡¯s sting! Like¡­ I haven¡¯t been able to breathe since the last time I was with her.


    I open my eyes, give Thendra a tired smile. ¡°Thanks.¡±


    She stands across the room from me. I¡¯m sitting at the old small table while she leans against the desk.


    ¡°Tell me of your time with the Fae.¡± She purrs, still¡­ restrained. Unsure. ¡°And why you are returned now.¡±


    I lay an elbow on the table. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ a bit of a long story. I¡¯m actually wondering if you¡¯ve¡­ um¡­¡±


    Her eyes remain locked on mine, I look away. ¡°Have you seen any other Fae? I¡­ I kind of need to¨C¡±


    A low growl stops me. ¡°Only the one, they led us from those twisting halls and told me they stole you away. That was weeks ago, right after your¡­ disappearance with that cursed place.¡±


    I nod. ¡°Usete. My¡­ they¡¯re my sibling. They wanted to help fix my eh¡­ Stirring.¡±


    She tilts her head, the word means nothing to her. So I raise up one of my blackened hands. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ hard to explain. It¡¯s why they cast me out all those years ago. But¡­ They wanted to help now. They¡­ I got them to promise, in song, to let me come back when it was done.¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°Did they?¡± She finally asks.


    It¡¯s my turn to be confused. ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Help?¡± Tone flat. Something¡­ something is bothering her.


    ¡°Obviously not.¡± I sigh. ¡°But¡­ I need you to promise to not hurt Usete. They¡­ They don¡¯t like you anymore than you like them, but they won¡¯t betray me again. And¡­ Thendra, they saved me. From the Matron.¡±


    There was a rising of anger at my demand. But that last part¡­ That makes her jerk, shifting her weight off the desk completely. ¡°Explain.¡±


    I clutch at this redirection of anger. Let the painful memories flow like water. ¡°During your¡­ fight. After I fell. Voe and Zitra found me. They¡­ They hurt me. Had me bound up by some snake eye thing.¡±


    She isn¡¯t growling¡­ yet. But I can feel the vibrations in her chest beginning to gather.


    ¡°The Matron thought you betrayed her, but¡­ I told her you didn¡¯t.¡± I shiver at the memories, ¡°She¡­ She believed me. I think she can¡­ like¡­ read minds or at least detect lies.¡± I wrap my arms around myself, fight to avoid tainting this reunion any more with tears. ¡°Then she¡­ offered to take me from you. Wanted to break our Lament and have me place a new one. For her.¡±


    That does get a growl, almost a wordless snarl.


    ¡°I told her no. And she¡­¡± I close my eyes. ¡°She had the snake thing start to strangle me. Then¡­ Voe she¡­ she started to¡­ to eat my soul as it killed me.¡±


    Fingers take my chin, pull my face up. I open my eyes, look up to see she¡¯s crossed the distance and is now standing over me.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, my Lyra.¡± She purrs. Actual sadness seems to even touch her eyes with those words.


    ¡°I¡­ Usete saved me.¡± I whisper, ¡°When¡­ and they took care of me. Healed me. But, I made them promise to free you and let me come back.¡±


    Thendra nods. ¡°Going forward, I will consider them a¡­ neutral party. Neither friend nor prey.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not¡­ Thendra that¡¯s not good enough!¡± I reach up to cradle her wrist. ¡°I need your help to make sure they¡¯re safe, and another Fae that¡¯s come to deal with the Matron¡¯s Rorliras shell thing.¡±


    Annoyance, rising to anger and worse things at my demand.


    ¡°Usete and¡­ and another Fae. She¡¯s¨C¡± In my panic, I decide to¡­ embellish. ¡°They mentioned something about it being really dangerous. Not just to the Matron, but the entire city! Said it¡¯ll¡­ like¡­ turn inside out or something!¡±


    She considers this. I can see her tilting away from the anger. Considering¡­ Need to push this! Push her away from that.


    ¡°Thendra.¡± I whisper, holding up my newly healed hand. ¡°Even if they try to take me back, I can riftwalk now. I will push through Watcher, Fae, and this Dreamer¡¯s Lament to come back to you.¡±


    A shadow of¡­ something. Not worry, but¡­ close.


    ¡°Freedom truly isn¡¯t something you crave?¡± She purrs, ¡°Even after your time back within the Fae-Wood?¡±


    I can¡¯t look away, can¡¯t hide the flashes of joy and sadness at the time spent with my mother, Usete, with¡­ Awnya. How much I¨C


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter,¡± I squeeze her wrist tighter. ¡°The Matron was lying. Not even the Fae can break my promises to you. Even if I would have let them try. My songs, and soul, are yours.¡±


    That does it, and all things shift to a satisfaction. A predatory grin shows me her teeth.


    ¡°The Matron betrayed me and mine. She should have simply kept you safe until my return.¡± She growls, ¡°I warned her, made clear to her spawn what would come of this.¡±


    ¡°So... You¡¯ll¨C¡±


    ¡°I will rip each of her eyes free from their stalks and let my Reavers engorge themselves on her soulfire.¡± She releases my chin, turns to begin heading toward the door.


    Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.


    I shiver at that, can¡¯t help but¡­


    ¡°Lyra.¡± I jerk up to see her glancing back at me from the doorway. ¡°Come.¡±


    I follow her, and below the Reavers have already begun to gather. It¡¯s¡­ odd, to stand among them again, especially dressed in my Fae tunic and robes.


    She¡¯s taken to using their wonderful language again, and I do understand most of it, but¡­ its beauty is a dark thing as she purrs softly to them. I watch as they all grow very quiet and¡­ enraged? No, that¡¯s anticipation. Hunger. She is promising them a great feast of soulfire and bounty, of the sweet reward of vengeance delivered. They are looking forward to this.


    ¡°We¡¯ll leave only husks to tell of our work.¡± She finishes.


    There¡¯s a pause, I twist around, touch her arm. She glances down to meet my gaze.


    I don¡¯t ask, not aloud. Just¡­ need to make sure.


    She sighs through a growl, then adds¡­


    ¡°There are Fae whose purposes align with ours flitting about, they are not to be harmed.¡±


    That gets a few surprised looks, mostly at me. But no one challenges her.


    I whisper so quietly only she should be able to hear. Barely even mouthing, ¡°Thank you.¡± As I rest my head into one of her big solid arms.


    ¡°The Matron expects us back in the morning for another excursion into the Rorliras.¡± Bulderii speaks from her place leaning against a wall. ¡°A strike then would be the most opportune. If we appear in force any other time she¡¯ll know our intentions before we can enter her home.¡±


    Thendra nods.


    ¡°Um¡­ Could I just¡­ Riftwalk us in?¡± I ask, more to myself. Anxious worry at even another night of not knowing if my family and lover are safe.


    A pause, and I wince internally. Worried I¡¯ve broken Thendra¡¯s commands and overstepped my¨C


    ¡°Her estate is warded against Riftwalks from beyond its walls.¡± Thendra purrs, moves her hand to lay on my head. ¡°But it¡¯ll be an option for exit if needed.¡±


    I sigh, lean into her touch. Even the mild approval warms me. It seems an eternity of planning and scheming passes, but soon everyone is breaking apart to rest for the night, and Thendra and I are back in her chambers. I find myself frozen in the middle of the room just¡­ staring at the bed. I can feel her behind me, radiating heat and that intoxicating spiced smell.


    ¡°Can I ask you something?¡± I whisper.


    She makes a low¡­ sound. A yes, but with a warning that she¡¯s not interested in talking right now.


    ¡°When I was with the Fae, I¡­ I was able to¡­ um¡­¡±


    The purr from her shifts, turns into something¡­ darker. I shiver under the sound, feeling my resolve wither under its weight. I nearly flinch. Can¡¯t get the words out. End up standing in silence as a few moments pass.


    ¡°Your question?¡± She purrs.


    ¡°N¡­ Nothing. Nevermind!¡± Turning I look up to meet her Jade eyes. I see the start of anger, an annoyance that I would even begin to think such stupid thoughts. I sigh, lost in¡­ her. In the rising promises in those eyes. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter.¡±


    With a purr of approval her hand moves to cradle my cheek and neck. I lean into her warmth, wrap my hands around her wrist.


    ¡°I¡­ I missed you.¡± I nearly whimper. ¡°So much.¡±


    A low rumble of hunger and desire rolls out from her chest, down her arm, and fills me.


    ¡°Can¨C can we¡­¡± I begin to ask. Memories of Amwella dances shared with my Fae lover flashing in my mind.


    But Thendra is already leaning down to wrap arms around me, pulling my lips to hers. Her breath fills me, hot and spicy. During a pause I make the mistake of nibbling on her lower lip. Angry hunger and reckless fury are unleashed then as she pulls me closer. It hurts, I feel blood dribble down my chin as a tooth cuts my lip and tongue. But... that just makes my heart thunder and my head swim with her.


    With that¡­ Lost are all thoughts and desires for the slow sweet indulgences of Fae sex.


    ¡°Sing.¡± She purrs as a hand moves down, fingers wrap around and begin to wander over me.


    The first notes I sing are all joy and hunger. That¡­ oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits that''s¨C


    Jerking my head back she sinks teeth into my neck, not¡­ not deep, and I feel her tongue slide over the fresh wounds as the other hand tears through my Fae tunic to grip at my breasts. The song shifts, still arousal, but the harmony becomes tinted with the pain. But I¡¯m too lost in her warmth and fury¡­ my thoughts just melt deeper into the song. I grip at her hair, trying to pull myself closer. I don¡¯t recall telling my body to hike a leg up around hers, but¡­ there it goes.


    Then she¡¯s lifting me, basically tackling me forward into the bed. I would have lost the song if she¡¯d not done this same thing in the past. I can¡¯t stop a small giggle from bubbling into the melodies mixture. She only responds by trailing teeth across flesh toward my collarbone.


    I end up hissing into the song as she bites down way harder than she¡¯s ever done. I pull on her harder, claw at her scalp and shoulders. But¡­ she¡¯s just so much bigger than me, and even my talons digging into flesh can''t make her slow. She growls, but it¡¯s¡­ not a warning. Just¡­ an expression of her hungers.


    So¡­ I dig deeper, begin to draw blood. She¡¯ll stop me if she doesn¡¯t like it.


    Thendra answers by moving a hand down to my leg while her teeth and tongue begin to chew on a breast. After tearing the remains of my Fae cloths away she bends the leg, pinning it to my chest and side, and moves both hands to pin my other leg in the same way.


    I squirm amidst the lilting harmony of desire and pain and helplessness as my talons rake at her. All while the heat of her thrums between my legs. Dreamer¡¯s Tits I missed this! Missed her. Longed for the feeling of her wanting me for weeks and weeks and¨C


    Then she¡¯s finally moving, trailing her bloody tongue along my skin. Keeping my legs pinned, Thendra drags her mouth over and around the parts my song is begging her to go to. Pleading her to just¡­ take a Dreamer Fucking Bite already!!!


    Suddenly she¡¯s done teasing, and is shoving her tongue as deep as it¡¯ll go as teeth graze across burning skin. I jerk at the mild pain, but¡­ she knows my body too well, knows exactly where to press and what to twist against. Song jitters and sinks into the warm anticipation at eventual¨C


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits the orgasm hits so hard, sending me into squirming twitching jerks. I almost lose the song as my throat fills with moans of such pleasure at the sensations.


    Her writhing sharp toothed Amwella snaps into focus like lightning. Coils around my core, wraps about it, squeezes with a tendril laden with razors before slicing into me. Pain. Cold and deep mixes with the shhivering pleasure of the climax as fresh soulfire weeps from my core.


    I can¡¯t help but let out a hiccupping little cry at the suddenness of it, so used to the soft and warm melting of Fae sex that I¡¯d¡­ well not forgotten. But¡­ not been ready for the pain of it. But... It''s wonderful, and I quickly let my mind drown in it along with the pleasure.


    Then she drops my legs and commands me to stop singing as my body is still twitching and curling in on itself. My breath is gasping and trembling with the flood of pain and pleasure. Thendra moves to hover over me, hot spiced breath washing down over my face. Waiting for me to still.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± I huff.


    She growls. ¡°You fed.¡±


    Cold worry cuts through the pleasure and warmth at her words. I open my eyes, notice¡­ a¡­ a type of anger settle on her. It wasn¡¯t a question.


    ¡°Once¡­ I would be annoyed. Twice¡­ I¡¯d warn you, but gently.¡± A long pause as she bores jade eyes into mine. ¡°But your soul is drowned in another¡¯s Amwella, Lyra.¡±


    Awnya? She¡¯s¡­ Why is she so angry about¡­?


    A hand trails toward my hair, coils through and around it like a snake.


    I reach up to touch her face. ¡°What does it matter?¡±


    Her other hand snaps up to grip my wrist, holding it between us. ¡°Your soul sings a song of agony and pain that is perfect. But you¡¯ve begun to smother it with a lesser melody.¡±


    Heart caught between the warmth of my soul being called perfect, and fear of her rising anger, I stammer. ¡°I¡­ I didn¡¯t know!¡±


    Her unseen hand grips my hair, hard. But I do see a flicker of¡­ something¡­ something softer beneath the anger.


    ¡°What can I do?" I touch the hand that grips mine. "To¡­ to fix my Amwella for you?¡±


    The words seem to give her pause, cool the flames.


    ¡°Why?¡± She growls.


    ¡°H¨C huh?¡±


    ¡°Did some Fae try to change your Amwella by infusing it with their own?¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I nearly yelp. ¡°I¡­ it was just¡­ um¡­ I spent most of the time there healing¡­ with¡­ with¡­ family. But¡­ then¡­ I met someone. And I¡­¡±


    Betrayed you.


    She loosens the grip on my hair enough for me to turn away a bit, but she doesn¡¯t move, just¡­ bears down on me.


    ¡°It was just sex. But¡­ very gentle. Nothing like what you do.¡± I whisper. ¡°I didn¡¯t think it would change anything.¡±


    She sighs, not in relief like I was hoping for, but in frustration.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I glance back at her as the anger melts into annoyance.


    ¡°You are so young and very stupid.¡± She purrs. ¡°I¡¯m going to ravage you for this.¡±


    My heart flutters in worry and fear and¡­ and anticipation. I lean it as hard as I can into the last.


    ¡°I mean¡­¡± I let a smile touch my lips at that. Hoping¡­ hoping¡­ ¡°I kinda hoped you¡¯d want to go a few more times at least.¡±


    ¡°No, Lyra. I¡¯m going to drag every sliver of this foreign blight from your soul. Now. Tonight.¡± Thendra moves, pressing lips to my ear, and growls. ¡°It is going to hurt.¡±


    I can¡¯t stop the fear and¡­ and guilt from flooding through me.


    Guilt at betraying Thendra before.


    Guilt at betraying Awnya now.


    I¡¯m so stupid. I¡­ I deserve whatever pain she levels at me here. I close my eyes for a moment, take a breath to steady myself. Awnya¡­ I¡¯ll make sure she¡¯s safe. Then¡­ then she can find someone better. Someone less broken.


    ¡°Okay, I won¡¯t resist.¡± I shiver and wrap arms and wrists around Thendra¡¯s neck, trying to give her the most serious look I can manage. ¡°As long as you keep your promises.¡±


    A pause.


    ¡°Pleasure, and purpose.¡± She murmurs. Jade eyes brim with understanding¡­ and hunger.


    Deep Breath.


    I nod, ¡°Then I¡¯m yours, Always and Forever. Or¡­ at least till the wretched dream ends.¡±

 Chapter 26: Promises Broken

    Content Warnin:


    - Description of assault and torments that happened between chapters.


    -blood, violence, use of curses to bind others. Limb loss. violent deaths.


    - certain magic resembles maggots/worms


    ¡°Good morning Thendra!¡± Voe calls out to the group as we gather at the entrance.


    She doesn¡¯t notice me from under my song of hiding. The tune honed from our time training me in the desert. It¡¯s not perfect, not yet, but shadows are all I require now as I move away from Thendra and her Reavers. I can¡¯t help but smirk through the weaving as writhing shadows of her mane of eyestalks whip and jerk to join the blanket of darkness that hides me.


    My Amwella is¡­ mostly healed. Thendra had spent half the night dragging me from climax to climax, slowly and carefully carving away at my soul. I was such a mess of exhaustion and pain by the end of it that I had to wait until morning to begin singing all the cuts, bites, and one broken bone healed from the experience.


    It was painful¡­ of course. Just like she promised. Just like I deserved.


    Every feeding was worse than the last. Like tearing at an open wound over and over again until it covers the entire limb. I went from trembling climaxes tinted with pain, to full on wailing sobs of agony with little mistings of pleasure scattered throughout. But¡­ Thendra knows my body, knows how to read my limits, and when to push them. At the end of it all, when I was a sobbing mess puddled in her arms, It was her warmth and fury that kept me alive.


    That¡­ and thoughts of needing to make sure Awnya and Usete are safe.


    Thendra¡¯s reply is a rolling purr of greeting.


    ¡°It¡¯s honestly wondrous to have you back today.¡± Voe continues, oblivious to me as I step around her to take in the room. ¡°We¡¯ve had more interference these past nights, strange songs echoing from the halls.¡±


    I can hear the Rorliras from here. Can feel the echoing empty thing calling out. But¡­ no songs.


    ¡°Any sign of the Fae?¡± Thendra growls.


    Voe huffs, fiddles at the pommel of her sheathed blade. ¡°Whispers of songs last night, but¡­ No.¡±


    Thendra nods, ¡°Then lead us to your Matron.¡±


    There is a pause, I glance back to notice a single eyestalk focus on one of my ankles. I freeze, look down, notice a little piece of my song loosely wiggle in that spot.


    ¡°Of course,¡± She turns, and begins to rotate her main eyes toward me.


    I focus harder on the song, begin to carefully slide from her path while¨C


    Voe¡¯s face eyes blink, turn toward the spot, and the weight of her gaze begins to wither my work. I have to stop moving to allow the shadows to gather, and begin to add little titters of suggestion into the mix. Calls to just¡­ ignore me. Look away. It was just a trick of the light!!!


    She pauses, does a double take on my location. Unconsciously adjusts to grip the hilt of her¨C


    ¡°Will you join us today?¡± Thendra purrs. ¡°Within the Rorliras?¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡± Voe quirks her head, but doesn¡¯t stop intensifying her focus.


    ¡°Zitra¡¯s spells are useful, but I prefer your company in those halls.¡± Thendra adds.


    That snaps her attention away. Almost all the eyestalks turn to follow her surprised gaze. I smirk and ignore the rest of Thendra¡¯s distraction, pulling the song closer and ending the suggestion before moving to use a few of the Reavers to shield my form.


    They¡¯ve started to notice the subtle hints of Fae song. I chide myself. Should have expected that.


    But then I slip behind Thendra, and tap her once on the thigh.


    Thendra moves like lightning. And next thing I know one arm wraps around and pulls Voe¡¯s eyestalks into a clump while another snakes around to choke off a sudden cry. Three other Reavers move forward to restrain her arms and help keep her pinned.


    ¡°Sing Voe¡¯s Curse.¡± Thendra purrs in our beautiful language.


    That was what most of the planning was last night. Finalizing the best curses to have me lay upon the Watchers. Eye contact isn¡¯t as good as a well carved blood brand done with my own talons. Won¡¯t work to drag these stronger curses into someone.


    I dart up alongside her, weave Fear and Pain and the melody of the end into my Dreamer¡¯s Lament. Feel the curse roil and sweep down my arm as Thendra jerks her head to reveal the unarmored skin of the Watcher¡¯s neck.


    My fingers twist into unnatural horrid shapes as I reach up and claw patterns into her pale skin. A bigger and more complex thing wrought with Fae words infested with a true understanding. It roughly would translate to¡­


    You will obey all of Thendra¡¯s commands.


    You will die when Thendra dies.


    My old curses were like needles, hard and solid things that pinch and sting, but this new curse is¡­ alive. The vile thing slithers out of me like a clutch of worms. Or¡­ no, not worms.


    Maggots.


    My Amwella sight is active, so I get to watch in sickening fascination as the parasite wriggles into Voe¡¯s soul. But... then I can¡¯t stop a gag as it burrows deep and settles, awaiting the slightest provocation to begin feeding upon its host¡¯s Amwella.


    ¡°Sing your hiding melody.¡± Thendra murmurs as I pull away.


    I obey, fight down a heaving vomit of blood and bile, and slump to the ground. Curl shadow¡¯s around to help hold myself together.


    ¡°Red Moonstone.¡± Thendra purrs into Voe¡¯s ear. ¡°Be still, silent, and listen to me.¡±


    Voe doesn¡¯t stop struggling, and I get to observe another¡¯s Amwella be consumed and wrent apart by one of my Laments. To her credit, she doesn¡¯t try to scream. Just¡­ seizes up and begins to writhe. I feel only horror and pity as I observe my work. I¡­ I hate Voe, but¡­ oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits that curse is so much worse then my old ones.


    ¡°Be still and the pain in your soul will end.¡± Thendra growls.


    Voe finally listens, though it¡¯s probably more out of the paralyzing pain of the curse than Thendra¡¯s words.


    ¡°You and yours betrayed me, Voe.¡± Thendra nods to her Reavers, and as they pull away she lowers Voe to the floor. Then releases her eyestalks and throat. ¡°Close your eyes, watcher.¡±


    Voe¡¯s eye¡¯s meet Thendra¡¯s, mouth opens as they go wide with pleading, then force shut the moment the curse begins to nibble.


    ¡°You will stay silent, still, and blind until I command otherwise. Else you will feel your soul be eaten from the inside out.¡± Thendra hovers over Voe¡¯s face. ¡°Nod once if you understand.¡±


    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    Voe pauses, then bobs her head and a few eyestalks once.


    Thendra rises, nods to her Reavers. A couple drag Voe outside the main doors before returning to join the group. Then Thendra nods and we begin to move down the passageways toward the chamber with the Rorliras shell.


    As our group reaches the end of the passage, we can see the wide open chamber and the sparkling mass of the Rorliras. Around it are dozens of tables piled with books and other odd tools and such. Standing among them are half as many slaves, the half horned face lady, and the Watchers.


    I¡¯m darting past Thendra first thing, moving to slip beneath and around the tables. Letting the mass of shadows there to cloak me fully. Confident that no gaze from their horrid eyes could shed this veil now.


    The Matron stands at this table next to Zitra, and I¡¯m so close that I could just¡­ reach out and scratch their ankles. Well¡­ at least the Matron¡¯s ankle. She¡¯s wearing simple black slippers that leave all the flesh of her ankle exposed, while Zitra is wearing sturdy chitin atop a heavy pair of boots.


    Thendra and her Reavers approach, and get about half way before total surprise is lost.


    ¡°Voe?¡± Zitra cuts off her Matron¡¯s explanation of some junction of passages inside the Rorliras. Zitra steps around the table, and I see her stick click on the floor.


    Everyone goes silent, and Thendra and her Reavers slow to a stop.


    ¡°Thendra¡­¡± Zitra murmurs. I peek out and see Thendra¡¯s predatory grin. ¡°What have you done?¡±


    Thendra spreads her arms, and her Reavers begin to spread out around her. Bulderii readies her bow.


    The Matron does not move, but I do notice her shadows wiggle as her eyestalks twist forward. Horn face lady readies her weapon, but¡­ seems to take more of a side-step than approach with Zitra.


    ¡°Who was it then?¡± The Matron asks, tone polite and unconcerned. ¡°That bought you. I mean.¡±


    ¡°No one, Watcher.¡± Thendra purrs.


    She sighs. ¡°Then why do this? On the eve of such great rewards and treasures?¡±


    Thendra smiles. ¡°Guess.¡±


    A long patient pause.


    ¡°Is Voe dead?¡± Zitra hisses, and a low creak comes as she squeezes the haft of that stick of hers.


    Thendra lets out a rolling rumble of a laugh as her Reaver¡¯s continue to spread and surround the tables.


    ¡°Would you like to see her again, Zitra?¡± Thendra¡¯s voice is¡­ oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits it''s a low and horrid thing. Paints a picture of the terrible pain my curse brings without actually telling Zitra a thing.


    Zitra chokes on what might have been a reply.


    ¡°Thendra.¡± The Matron chides, ¡°At least let me know why I must now find a new group to spearhead my work here. Maybe I can ensure they won¡¯t share your flaws.¡±


    Thendra aims that predatory grin back at her, whispers so quietly I would have missed it if I wasn¡¯t waiting for her command. ¡°Sing the Matron¡¯s curse.¡±


    Talon twists into the Matron¡¯s bare skin as I bring Fear and Pain and the Melody of the End bursting forth. A clutch of writhing spawn curls from my soul. In a single swipe I¡¯m hissing a terrible song into being, feeling the first words of Fae song bind the little wriggling thing to her Amwella.


    You will embrace Blindness


    You will ob¨C


    A flash of purple flame cuts off my song, and most of my hand. I¡¯m given only a second to watch as the fingers and half the palm just¡­ falls away. Turned to ash and charred slag.


    Then everything explodes into chaos, and pain. So much Dreamer blighted pain!!!


    I¡¯m still singing. Still weaving a song of the Matron¡¯s curse into the world. Teeth of it cling to her through the unfinished bloody brand, while its form still lies at my core amidst the incomplete song.


    I spot flashes of the Reaver¡¯s movement about the room. Watch one get cleaved nearly in two by the half horn lady, before an arrow cracks half of her face apart with a sound that mixes so beautifully with the pain I¡¯m still wheezing out.


    The Matron is shrieking something¡­ not¡­ not people words. Not Fae things. But¡­ weird cutting sounds that slice perfectly in time with the half-finished Lament on her ankle. Almost¡­ almost like strings of some strange instrument plucked in tune.


    I¡¯m not so much crawling away, but wriggling as I clutch my smoking and charred hand to my chest. Trying to¡­ to get to someone. To let me sing healing and¡­


    Golden eyes flash in my memories. Soft harmony of healing that helps settle my soul and heal my aches. Soft words and kisses and¨C


    A foot kicks me onto my back right before a knee slams down into my throat, cuts off the song, and then another pain is jammed into my soul. ¡°End it!¡± the woman growls.


    Not the right person. Too many eyes, all black and wrong. So I hold the melody within my Amwella and try to choke out more of its horrid tune. The Matron¡¯s slicing calls tear through the room. I see a Reaver, Hundat I think, attempt to leap at Zitra from the side. Almost gets claws around her now glowing stick, but then that same purple flame from before rends her into a slag of ash and wet meat.


    ¡°END IT!¡± Zitra slams her stick into the floor next to my face, green lightning twists around her.


    Gummy nonsense clogs my eyes, nose and ears. The wonderful clutch of writhing parasitic song gnashes and tears at the edges of my Amwella. Shrieks for me to find their host and let them feast.


    ¡°Thendra!¡± Zitra jerks all but her face eyes to glare away from me, ¡°Tell her to release the curse or¨C¡±


    ¡°SING ZITRA¡¯S CURSE ALONGSIDE THE MATRON¡¯S!!!¡± Comes the commanding roar of some dark goddess.


    Left Talon jerks up, rakes twisting sigils down Zitra¡¯s unprotected face on instinct. Watcher blood gleams on my fingertips. Zitra flinches back, frees my throat just enough to choke out the sounds needed to weave the Lament. I don¡¯t release the Matron¡¯s foul thing, just¡­ weave in her kin¡¯s. Add little unseen maggots to crawl around the larger unsealed curse and burrow into this new target. She¡¯s already hissing as strange light erupts from her deep black eyes and¨C


    You will obey all of Thendra¡¯s commands.


    You will die when Thendra dies.


    ¡°Be still and silent and blind!¡± Comes a call, just¡­ not for me.


    I can¡¯t stop a bloody pain maddened smile overtaking me as I watch my creations begin to feed on their new host. The watcher falls away, and I¡¯m free to continue wailing and choking on these perfectly rotten songs. The pain is¡­ well¡­ I can¡¯t help but curl myself around it. That''s all I am now. Just a birthing vessel for two harmonies of wondrous rot. Physical agonies work so well to fuel the creatures as they¨C


    The Matron shrieks a rage that adds such beauty to my song. I feel her Amwella buck and twist, try to shake off the teeth of my curse. Fail.


    More chaos, hands fall upon me. But then jerk away.


    At one point I get to watch as a beautiful dark shape moves like a leaf amidst a summer storm. Her Amwella is wrapped in a familiar mantle of Jade but¡­ tinted with Violet bits. She catches and simply... pulls and rips the head off of a small blue watcher lady before easily avoiding thin little threads of green and purple magic that pierce the spot she was at only a second before.


    I reach for this dark goddess with a shaking maimed hand as she closes in on something horrible and ugly and¡­ I don¡¯t know what that is¡­?


    Masses of shrieking teeth and tongue erupt from this creature¡¯s back, eyestalks curl around an old form¡¯s core. Open and glaring down at the still half finished curse on her ankle. But it does not wither.


    Oh. That¡¯s the Amwella I¡¯m still clutching onto. The Matron. She¡¯s just¡­ changed. Or¡­ maybe this was what she was always like?


    The dark goddess reaches her, avoids three strikes from a tongued mass, lands a single blow that seems to sever away an eyestalk, then retreats when the floor beneath her erupts in a sudden flash of purple flames. The Matron shrieks in annoyance, then those large eyes turn outward to glare at me. Glow bright.


    Some unseen force lifts me, jerks me up and across the room like a loose bag of leaves. Slams me hard into the upper end of a wall. I feel so many soft squishy things inside me pop while the bones creak and snap.


    But¡­ I don¡¯t fall. Just.. feel a suffocating weight begin to¨C


    ¡°END IT!¡± The Matron calls out as her magic continues to crush me.


    ¡°Kill her, and the curse will bite deeper.¡± Thendra¡¯s growl lies to her. Or... at least I think it''s a lie? I don''t actually know if this curse would continue without the final notes of my melody.


    The pressure lessens, but¡­ doesn¡¯t stop holding me to the wall as I choke and wheeze out the Lamentation.


    ¡°For this?¡± The Matron hisses, ¡°You betray me for¡­ over this thing?¡±


    Fifteen feet from her, Thendra pauses. Beautiful Amwella flails and writhes while her dark perfect form remains still. My dark goddess considers the monster''s words.


    ¡°One of us did.¡± She purrs, ¡°One of us broke her word over my Fae. But it wasn¡¯t me or mine.¡±


    The mass of teeth twist and¡­ and then all but one of the eyestalks close. Leave only her face eyes to look up at Thendra while one eyestalk glows with magic as it glares up at me. The remaining Reavers move up and begin to circle the Matron.


    ¡°How about a bargain, Reaver?¡± The Matron¡¯s grip on me tightens, forcing my song down to just a choking gagging whimper.


    Thendra lets out a purring laugh. ¡°Your promises are broken useless things.¡±


    Then she¡¯s moving again.


    More magic, and the pressure tightens, threatens to fully crush me against the hard stone wall entirely. Then I¡¯m falling, and I¡¯m barely able to twist my legs to disperse my weight so that I don¡¯t shatter any more of myself on the floor. I choke out more of the cursed songs, then jerk up to watch as three of the Matron¡¯s eyestalks attempt to converge lances of purple flame on Thendra. She barely avoids¨C


    My song almost chokes to a halt as I watch one of Thendra¡¯s legs get blasted into charred slag from the knee down. She tumbles, catches her fall, and is already forcing some of her amazing Amwella to begin wrapping about the limb. But her speed has gone from glorious blurring perfection to a hobble I could probably match. The Matron howls victory, discordant vile sounds to my Lament, and begins to twist herself to aim all eyestalks at Thendra.


    I¡¯m up then, running. Moving through the maelstrom of chaos. Across the slagged remains of desks, books, and Reavers I force myself forward. The Amwella within me strained under the weight of the two songs, but I force a third into the discordant mix.


    I call shadows to hide my form as I speed forward, and feel the sting of my Lament sink deep into me as I dart straight toward the Matron.


    I¡¯m not going to last long. The two Laments have already consumed most of my soul, and now my curse could finish me. But she¡¯s totally focused on Thendra and the remaining half dozen Reavers. Purple lances of flame don¡¯t even come near me as I leap forward, slide the remaining few feet to slam into her ankles.


    Find the brand.


    She doesn¡¯t fall, not with the weird twisting mass of extra limbs holding her up. All eyes jerk down to¨C


    Can¡¯t get my left hand to it quick enough. I realize as things begin to bite and claw at my legs and back and arms and hair and¨C


    So I bite down on her ankle, Use my teeth to will the horrid clutch of worming life to finish their infestation of her soul as I taste leathery skin and blood, break a few teeth to finish carving the blood brand.


    You will embrace Blindness.


    You will obey all of Thendra¡¯s commands.


    You will die if Thendra dies.


    I¡¯m torn free then, dragged through a¡­ a tunnel of teeth and choking pain and spit out onto the floor a few dozen feet away. I try to keep singing, but¡­ terrible pain in my throat blocks me. The curse doubles it¡¯s sting of¨C


    ¡°BE SILENT AND STILL AND BLIND!¡± Thendra commands, and the curse settles. Oh¡­ I guess she meant that for me this time too.


    But¡­ My breathing does not return. I reach up, feel¡­ Oh.


    A gash runs from my chin, down my throat, and ends just above my sternum. Deep and messy and oozing blood.


    I can¡¯t breathe, can¡¯t¡­ even with a command I can¡¯t sing a healing song to fix this!

 Chapter 27: Rotting Soul

    Content Warning!


    -Death, dying, pain and threats of violence


    -Talk of Spooky Gooses


    -Big meaty... things.


    Screaming howls echo from across the room, and the few sputtering bouts of purple flame and tutters of magic flash at the edge of my vision. The Matron¡¯s final death throes as she battles the Reavers, Thendra, and the horrid curse I wiggled into her soul. She won¡¯t last long, but from the sounds I¡¯m guessing she might prefer to die fighting rather than submit.


    Even still, she¡¯s going to outlive me. I realize as the cold begins to overtake my limbs and thoughts. Muscles jerk and spasm in pain at the lack of air.


    But¡­ my thoughts drift to that dark goddess. To¡­ to the woman I gave my dying soul to. I¡­ I wish Thendra would¡­ just¡­ She was supposed to be the one to end me. Was supposed to be there to consume my soul as I sang my final melodies.


    Tears and bloody choking sadness sputter out from me as I begin to die alone amidst that shattered promise. I squeeze my eyes shut as rotten tendrils begin to drag me from the Dream. Horrid things worm through soul and mind to hook me like some beached fish and pull me from dying flesh.


    All I deserve.


    But then warmth wraps around my throat, and a song¡­ so so far away, holds me amidst pain and a background of howling screams. Pours weeping soulfire into a cold corpse.


    ¡°Lyra!¡±


    A few more heartbeats thunder through me, push pain through a dozen other wounds I barely notice. P¨CPlease. No more pain. Just¡­ just let me¨C


    ¡°Breathe!¡± She demands through the song.


    I can¡¯t. The¡­ the rot has me. I want to tell her. Digging into me and pulling my soul down. Down¡­ Down¡­.


    Then there are lips on my own, soft and warm and angry. Shoving air and song down my barely healed throat. A rush of life into my flesh.


    Scorned and hated by life itself. I should just go. Let the rot take me. Why¡­ Why fight?


    ¡°Lyra!¡± She screams as the healing song turns shrill and desperate. ¡°Stay with me!¡±


    She wants me to stay? But I don¡¯t¡­ But it¡¯s so hard to fight this!


    I struggle a bit. More air is forced into my lungs while a song flows through my soul. This goes on for a while. She holds the rot from advancing deeper. But¡­ I can feel that old wonderful Fae promise now. The pleading melody of the promised end. I can¡¯t help but want to join my voice to it and plead for¨C


    ¡°Lyra!¡± Comes a voice, sharp and hard as the curse it threatens me with. ¡°Sing what healing you need.¡±


    The Dreamer¡¯s Lamentation bites down into me with pain far more foul and real than the rot. My body spasms as the soul jerks and sputters at the command. Terrible and cruel, it drags me into desiring relief from it over the peace of death.


    So¡­ through blood, and pain, and despair, I fight to live as hard as I can.


    It starts out as a gurgling coughing mess, then evolves into a wheezing moaning thing. But soon I drag a breath into my lungs, and feel the tendrils of rot fade. Eventually I¡¯m even able to force bloody gummy eyes open to cast about for¨C


    Golden eyes hover above me, brimming with tears as her song works in harmony with my guttural tune. A smile so joyous as I return to her radiates a heat that causes warmth to return to my heart.


    A¡­ Awnya?


    The limp nub that used to be my right talon bumps into her chin. She glances down to it with confusion, then surprise and horror. Takes it gently in one hand while another still rests on my throat.


    ¡°You¡¯re alright, just breathe. I¡¯m here. I¡¯ve got you!¡± Her song¡¯s sudden crescendo chimes down at me.


    I don¡¯t have much Amwella left, and there is so much pain. Healing hurts so much. And a few times I almost give up, nearly allowing my soul to settle back into the rot and¨C


    But the Dreamer¡¯s Lament bites, hard and horrid, so I continue to sing. When it¡¯s a choice between two agonies, I have no choice but to embrace the lesser. After a few eternities my Amwella is too low to continue, healing with song too much of a burden. But Awnya¡¯s eyes glimmer with understanding.


    ¡°She needs to stop now.¡± Her voice edged with anger and a desperate hope.


    The command is given, and I sputter to a stop. Am forced to curl onto my side and allow every muscle to slump as blood and bile drools from my mouth and nose. My eyes flutter shut as exhaustion consumes me. The large chamber sits silent for a good minute, save my still shuttering wheezing breaths. A tense quiet that builds and builds until¨C


    ¡°You must be Thendra.¡± Awnya calls out from my side, and I force my eyes open.


    ¡°I am.¡± Thendra purrs from across the room.


    I can see her now, sitting atop a mangled mess of oozing toothed¡­ nonsense shapes. A beautiful dark goddess, arms still dripping with the gore of the Matron. A few of the huge eyes lay about the thing. Crushed and popped like so much fruit. Four Reavers seem to stand about her. Wounded, but still with a dangerous focus that now sits on Awnya.


    ¡°I need to take her back to the Fae Wood.¡± Awnya turns amber eyes to meet jade, ¡°We have healers who can¨C¡±


    Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    Thendra lets out through a purring laugh, a low and dark thing that sends shivers of warmth through me. ¡°No.¡±


    Awnya bristles. ¡°She¡¯ll heal faster there.¡±


    ¡°Her Amwella will recover by morning,¡± Thendra leans forward, jerking her head at something behind us. ¡°Then I will have her sing that form back to perfection.¡±


    Before I can even consider the joy of her calling my form perfect, Awnya¡¯s fingers dart to that leaf bladed thing on her hip, suddenly kneeling and ready to move. Doesn¡¯t shift her eyes from Thendra as she tilts to keep something behind us in the corner of her eye.


    Everything goes still again, a pause before violence.


    She¡­ Thendra promised! I won¡¯t let her¨C


    But I begin to push myself to my elbows, It hurts so much as I beg. ¡°Stop, please.¡±


    The movement breaks something in the tension, Awnya moves arms to support me as Thendra¡¯s eyes consider the movements.


    ¡°Lyra, hey! You really shouldn¡¯t be moving yet.¡± She comforts as warm hands try to find the best places to aid my shiftings while not encouraging them.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± I croak. ¡°You¡­ you¡¯re okay? Where is Usete?¡±


    ¡°Yup, just Busy. They¡¯re fine. Just like I said.¡± She says in a hushed whisper. ¡°Let¡¯s get you back to your mother¡¯s, yeah?¡±


    I shake my head with a fury. ¡°No.¡±


    She doesn¡¯t let me go, but¡­ pauses as I get my knees beneath me. It¡¯s then I notice the shadow Thendra was looking at. Bulderii stands opposite us, arrow notched and bow half-raised. Eyes focused on Awnya.


    ¡°She¡¯s right¡­ I¡¯m better off here.¡± I can barely meet those gorgeous golden eyes as memories of watching her Amwella get torn from my soul and fed to Thendra burn through me. ¡°Thank you, for¡­ for healing me.¡±


    ¡°Of course, but¡­ Lyra.¡± Her hand doesn¡¯t release my maimed one as she hits me with one of her satisfied and confident smirks as she points a thumb over at the looming dark goddess. ¡°I can¡¯t leave you here with these spooky gooses.¡±


    I take a deep and steady breath, focus on bodily pains as I force the words out. ¡°I want to stay here, okay? Just¡­ go help Usete.¡±


    She studies me for a long moment, ¡°You sure?¡±


    No. I want more of her warmth and love and¡­ but... she needs to help Usete. And I need Thendra¡¯s commands to heal.


    I nod. ¡°Yes.¡±


    WANT them, always and forever. I¡­ I promised!


    She turns, moves to stand between myself and Thendra, then surprises me by giving the Reavers a slight bow. ¡°My name is Awnya, and I¡¯ve been tasked with settling Lyra¡¯s stirring.¡±


    Thendra¡¯s Jade eyes have never left us, and now she only raises an eyebrow. ¡°She is bound to me, Fae or no.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m aware.¡± Awnya nods, ¡°But that changes very little. Her¡­ the potential for calamity is a danger to this Rift and others.¡±


    Thendra considers this, fingers drumming on dead flesh.


    She¡¯s not healed. I stare in horror at her stump leg. There¡¯s no blood, no smoking ruin, just¡­ flesh curling around itself at the end. Almost like her will alone holds it shut. But she shows absolutely no pain. Almost seems¡­ amused at the injury.


    ¡°What will your¡­ tasks, entail?¡± She purrs.


    I fight to rise, end up needing to grip at Awnya¡¯s leg else risk a fall. She turns to take my good hand, eyes meet mine. The worry almost chokes me, and I have to look down and away as I murmur a thanks.


    As I look down I¡­ I remember what I¡¯m wearing. Gone are my soft Fae tunics. Torn away amidst violent soul-drinking sex, here now are the old shawl and underthing. Easier to sneak about in, but¡­ a clear mark of what I am.


    ¡°Not sure yet.¡± She sighs, and once I am steady turns back to Thendra. But she doesn¡¯t release my uninjured hand. ¡°There¡¯s no set way to deal with it. Back in the Fae she was spending time with family. Positive things seem to help.¡±


    It¡¯s then I notice¡­ oh the rot has spread so far. It now reaches past my wrists by about half a hand.


    ¡°Hm¡­¡± Thendra ponders, ¡°And if I¡­ disagree? With the actions you mean to take?¡±


    The room goes still again, and while Thendra remains all easy calm, her Reavers tense. I even hear Bulderii¡¯s bowstring flex tighter.


    Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­ she¡¯s¡­ she¡¯s threatening to kill Awnya. Will kill her if¨C


    Awnya laughs, warm and soft. Squeezes my fingers ever so gently.


    ¡°You misunderstand.¡± She glances back at me, worried but¡­ also trying to give me a calming smile. ¡°I¡¯m not here to command anyone, what we do here isn¡¯t up to me. It¡¯s up to her.¡±


    She turns back, offering an open palm of placation. ¡°Honestly we should be having this conversation after you all get rest and have a meal or three. I sense you''re a bit winded, from all¡­ this.¡±


    Thendra growls, but it¡¯s amused. ¡°You didn¡¯t answer my question.¡±


    Awnya sighs, all casual annoyance. ¡°Why does it always have to come to violence? I¡¯m not threatening you, Thendra.¡±


    ¡°No, You play at taking what is mine.¡± Thendra suddenly goes very still. A jungle cat eyeing a rival as all amusement drains away. ¡°Look around you, Fae, and see what became of the last woman who thought to steal from me.¡±


    Cold cuts through me, hollow fear that these two will decide to fight. At the possibility of one of them dying or¡­ or¡­


    ¡°Fine. If that¡¯s the language that will get you to listen.¡± Awnya goes still, grips my hand tighter. ¡°You are weakened, spent, and injured. But even so, taking Lyra from this place, from you, would be difficult. And that¡¯s if she was unconscious or willing.¡±


    Thendra smiles, tilts a head in acknowledgement.


    ¡°But,¡± Awnya raises a finger. ¡°Plenty Fae know where I am and what I am trying to do. If I don¡¯t visit regularly they¡¯ll know who killed me.¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°This is so¡­¡± Awnya huffs, ¡°Ugh, I hate this Thendra. But I guess it really is part of your language so here it is! Don¡¯t cooperate, and I¡¯ll get more Fae involved. Kill me, and you¡¯ll be buried in our kind. And their songs will drown you.¡±


    ¡°You kind abhor cruelty and death.¡± Thendra counters, ¡°Declawed, how many will they be willing to risk and end on such a danger?¡±


    Awnya snorts, ¡°You wouldn¡¯t know you were in trouble until you were already up to your big meaty tits in it. They won¡¯t even need to enter your home to sing you silly.¡±


    Thendra barks out a laugh. The Reaver¡¯s calm at the genuine mirth in it.


    ¡°Very well, Fae.¡± She shifts back, relaxes into the Matron¡¯s corpse like it¡¯s a throne. ¡°Return in the morning, I will be a more¡­ hospitable host then.¡±


    Awnya sighs in relief. ¡°Thank you, Thendra. Eyegorger and Reaver.¡±


    Thendra grins wide at the honorifics, but jade eyes dart to me. A silent command.


    I begin to move, but¡­ Awnya doesn¡¯t let go.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay, Awnya. Really¡­¡± I whisper, then look up and give her my best smile. ¡°Thank you again, for the healing and¡­ and everything else. Before.¡±


    I must look like such a horrid ugly mess, her smile falters, eyes don¡¯t leave mine.


    ¡°Be safe and rest up, Okay?¡± She touches my face, and I have to fight to not lean into her warm touch. ¡°Sorry I was away for so long. I¡¯ll be back in the morning this time. Promise Promise.¡±


    I nod, and she lets go. Then I wobble through the mess and muck to stand at the foot of Thendra¡¯s corpse throne. I¡¯m honestly surprised I make it. But¡­ I can¡¯t risk the conflict that a fall might cause. Once there Thendra looks past me, considers Awnya again.


    ¡°Let¡¯s meet up at your home. This place is disgusting.¡± Awnya calls out as she walks toward the still thrumming Rorliras, her form begins to shimmer. ¡°I have¡­ other things to deal with. Need to clean up this Dreamer Cursed watcher¡¯s mess still.¡±


    Thendra agrees, then Awnya is gone. I do think I notice a few more shimmers beyond the Rorliras though. Footfalls of her parting. I turn back to look up at Thendra, and am met with a look of contemplation. Steady jade eyes studying my worn and battered form.


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sorry. About the Matron¡¯s curse. I tried to¨C¡± I blubber, trying to reach out as my balance wavers. End up jerking back when I almost touch the Matron¡¯s corpse with the fingerless talon.


    I would have ended up slumping down onto the floor, but strong arms sweep me up, cradle my body into a warm chest.


    ¡°You did very well today, my Lyra.¡± Thendra purrs.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits, her words are the final blast of wind that knocks my need to continue today all to pieces. I¡­ I don¡¯t even know how she¡¯s holding me right now. Can¡¯t look down to find out.


    Awnya is safe, Thendra is safe, The Matron is¡­ gone.


    ¡°Drag the dead to the entrance, display their corpses outside for all in the city to see.¡± Thendra pulls me close and begins to move. Walking like both legs are present and hole as a strange thrumming of¡­ something echoes from what should be the missing leg.


    ¡°And the two living?¡± I hear Bulderii ask, much closer than before.


    ¡°Bring them to our home,¡± Thendra replies, cold anticipation in her tone. ¡°Strip them of arms and armor, and leave them to¡­ consider their future overnight.¡±


    I shiver at that, almost throw up at the memory of the writhing parasites I birthed today. At¡­ at the two others who now bear my horrid Laments.


    Thendra considers the motion, pauses. ¡°Do you need to sing?¡±


    I shake my head tiredly. ¡°Just sleep.¡±

 Chapter 28: It’s Spreading

    Content Warnin''s:


    - broken body and healing


    -attempts at self-mutilation


    -physically restraining


    -Discussion of missing limb things and feelings of limb being wrong


    -Existential dread as someone informs another about the impending end of all things. Neat!


    ¡°Sing what healing you need.¡± My dark goddess commands.


    Everything hurts, oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits it¡¯s¡­ oh please. Please no no NO¡­ The fit of spasms are less than the previous ones, but as I¡¯m jerked to half wakefulness from twisting night terrors by the Lament I can¡¯t help but choke out a sob at the curse''s bite.


    Bones grind, skin stretches while muscles drag everything out and apart. I try to¡­ to numb the pain. But¡­ I need it to make sure everything slots into place, pain helps me sense that. Then there¡¯s the rot. The Dreamer cunt fucked horrid rot!


    My hands got so numb before, but now¡­ as I try to help the maimed one it just¡­ won¡¯t stop hurting! Fighting every note and singing pleas to regrow. But it does heal, slowly. Painfully. Black and ugly and furious at being attached to me.


    I snarl through the song, and begin to shove half formed fingers into my mouth. I¡¯ll curse the blighted thing. Curse it to stop hurting me! I dig teeth into fingers and knuckle and¨C


    Dark hands of a goddess stop me, drag the bleeding thing from my mouth and pull it back.


    ¡°No.¡± She purrs.


    The song growls as I bite at the hand she¡¯s wrapped around my shoulders. But then I¡¯m suddenly sputtering, choking. Spitting blood and flesh and rot. The disgusting taste shocks me from my madness. Vomit almost ruins the song and submits me to my Lament¡¯s bite.


    Gurgling, guttural, and whimpering, I slowly continue to sing my fingers and talons back into form while dragging my Fae flesh into its first shape. The pain in my body is¡­ terrible. Multiple broken bones, torn muscles, and even a few bruised organs lay barely half-healed. But compared to the agony at my right hand it¡¯s laughably small.


    Almost¡­ almost silly.


    I jerk up to see Thendra laying beside and over me. I plea for her to let me stop singing with dripping tear soaked eyes. But¡­ she doesn¡¯t give the command. I try to curl in on myself, but she wraps fingers through my hair and forces my head to face hers. With one hand she feels and examines the regrowth in the horrid talon, with the other she forces jade eyes to bore into mine. I try to close them a few times, but she enforces her will with a little shake of my head and a low growl.


    Eternities pass like that. But eventually a call in our beautiful tongue prompts the command of silence. Thendra lets me curl in on myself while she speaks with one of her Reavers, and oblivion and darkness begin to snake about my shaking sobbing form.


    ¡°The Fae woman is here.¡± Bulderii murmurs.


    Awnya. Golden eyes glimmer and burn the dark oblivion I¡¯m falling into. Stir me into wakefulness.


    ¡°Hm¡­ Later than I expected.¡± Thendra replies, moving away to stand. ¡°Offer her a meal, same as you would gather for Lyra. Just cider for myself. I¡¯ll be down shortly.¡±


    Bulderii pauses. ¡°She asks for both of you.¡±


    I force myself to rise at that. Everything is still so heavy.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay.¡± I croak out. ¡°I can¡­ I need to¡­¡±


    I force gummy eyes open to see Thendra and Bulderii looking back at me. Sharp eyes roll over what must be a hideous sight of half healed nonsense. Thendra¡¯s injured leg is¡­ longer. More bone and flesh has grown beyond the wound. But not entirely healed. She uses the bed for balance. I almost shiver in relief that she can heal herself so well.


    ¡°Remain here.¡± Thendra turns, ¡°Bulderii will¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I almost spit out, crawling wearily toward the foot of the bed.


    A low growl stutters me to a stop. I jerk up to see Thendra¡¯s glaring back at me. But I¡¯m just too tired and in too much Dreamer blighted pain to care. Even as green and purple¡­ somethings begin to twist and curl around her injured leg, letting her stand as if it is hole again. Bulderii raises an eyebrow, steps back from us.


    I wriggle wobbly legs to hang off the bed before dropping to¨C


    To just kinda slump onto the tiles. End up on my knees and fighting a bout of dizziness. Thendra and Bulderii don¡¯t catch me, not because they can¡¯t, but because I¡¯m defying a command.


    And being stupid.


    I grind my teeth and reach to grip the bed. I slip and fall again. Look up glare at the useless half formed talon. Then twist to use both arms to claw my way to standing. Dizziness nearly sweeps me down again, but I hiss and claw and bite it down.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Thendra¡¯s purring growl is punctuated by a little crackling coming from the unseen Amwella serving as her temporary leg.


    I huff. ¡°Just¡­ give me a second. Need to catch my breath. Then I can¨C¡±


    Thendra sighs, Turns back to Bulderii. ¡°Return Lyra to bed. Stop her from trying to leave or bite any fingers off.¡±


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    ¡°Wh¨C¡± I begin to protest, but Bulderii is at least half as fast as Thendra and a thousand times faster than me right now. She wraps big, but deft, hands under my armpits and hoists me back onto the bed.


    ¡°Thendra!¡± I stammer, but as I am able to jerk around to look, she¡¯s already gone.


    Bulderii doesn¡¯t toss me in and leave, she drags my body up and settles us amidst the covers. Forces me to lay in a curled mass basically in her lap. Wraps blankets about me after moving a pillow to cushion my head. I¡¯m only barely getting the world to stop twisting as she settles.


    ¡°Rest.¡± Bulderii commands, but softly.


    I twist to glare up at her. But¡­ it¡¯s a weak and impersonal thing. I have no reason to hate her. She¡¯s just¡­ following Thendra¡¯s commands. And¡­ She¡¯s the only Reaver to never feed on me.


    ¡°Or don¡¯t, and we¡¯ll just wait here for Thendra.¡± She shrugs.


    I grumble and turn to stare out the doorway. Consider¡­ options.


    Well¡­ one option. And¡­ as I glance down to see my Amwella, I know it¡¯s a very bad one. My soul is a mess of loose strands and bruised chunks that look so¡­ broken. My normal overnight healing hasn¡¯t restored much of me this time. Riftwalking takes a good amount of soulfire, even without considering my curses. Not even sure if¡­ if I could do it again. Like this. But¡­ as my soul flutters occasionally, still alive and ready to¨C


    Bulderii takes my chin, just like Thendra does when I need to pay attention. I can¡¯t even stop a little flutter of horny madness as she does it either!


    ¡°No.¡± She commands.


    ¡°Wh¨C what?¡± I struggle weakly.


    ¡°No singing.¡± She squeezes tighter.


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t¡­ I didn¡¯t even¨C¡±


    ¡°I will stick my fingers down your pretty little throat.¡± She threatens.


    I pause at that, glare back at her to see¡­ yeah she would. I even notice a glimmer of Amwella sight in one eye. She¡¯d stop me before I got out a single note.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits, Okay!¡± I huff. And she releases my chin.


    A long pause. Sleep begins to¡­ to tempt me. But the thought of¡­ of Thendra and Awnya together. Of¡­ but what if one of them says or does something stupid and tries to¨C


    Bulderii catches my hand by the wrist as it begins to drift toward my core, examines the half healed nubs. I shuffle and shift to face away from the blighted thing.


    ¡°Hmmm¡­¡± She murmurs. ¡°Why does Thendra think you might bite your fingers off?¡±


    I grind my teeth, don¡¯t answer. She flips my hand around, peers at it from all sides.


    ¡°It seems to be taking the same shape as before. Your songs move the muscles and bones to re-grow correctly.¡± Her words send brumbleflesh down my neck. It¡¯s¡­ she¡¯s not praising your work. Just¡­ trying to distract you.


    ¡°Just¡­¡± I begin to say. Pause.


    Why was I biting at the¡­ the stupid rotted¨C


    I whisper, more to myself. ¡°It doesn¡¯t¡­ doesn¡¯t feel like it¡¯s mine.¡±


    ¡°Because of this?¡± She rubs at the blackness.


    ¡°That and¡­¡± I pause, but weariness loosens my tongue. ¡°and the last time I did something this extensive there was another Fae to help.¡±


    ¡°Your Fae mother?¡±


    I flinch, not¡­ not expecting her to guess. Much less to guess right. Thinking about her¡­ right now is... hard. And painful. While I''m broken and bound and terrified that Awnya might get hurt or¡­ or¡­


    I don¡¯t answer at first, but eventually nod.


    ¡°First limb loss is always hard.¡± She murmurs.


    ¡°Bulderii,¡± I glance up and back to meet her eyes. ¡°This is not my first. I had to remake myself, remember?¡±


    She tilts her head, curious. ¡°Was your human body not easier to reshape to¨C"


    ¡°No.¡± I hiss. ¡°I tore out every single thing of it as I reknit this new form, made sure to burn and bury the ashes. None of that old blighted thing will ever be a part of me again.¡±


    Her gaze goes¡­ strange. A weird mix of respect and¡­ more curiosity. ¡°Why?¡±


    I almost tell her. But turn to glare at the exit. Dreamer¡¯s Tit¡¯s. Almost¡­ almost told her more than even Thendra knows.


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t me.¡± I eventually reply flatly.


    ¡°And this isn¡¯t either?¡± She still hasn¡¯t released my wrist.


    I squirm as another bout of dizziness washes through me, even begins to upset my stomach for a second.


    ¡°It keeps hurting me.¡± I stammer out. ¡°More¡­ more than it should. Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­ I¡­ I think¡­ I went too far this time¡­ With the curses.¡±


    ¡°For a Goddess of the Fae you sure curse her name often.¡± She chuckles.


    I shrug. ¡°She¡¯s a cunt, and dead.¡±


    That makes her laugh more. Real and deep. ¡°Most are at least the first and, if we¡¯re lucky, soon to be the second.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but smile a little alongside her. Fight to avoid letting out a giggle.


    ¡°Tell me about this Dreamer.¡± She finally says at the end of her mirth.


    I huff. Debate refusing her. But¡­ I need something to keep me awake.


    ¡°She¡¯s¡­ not really a Goddess. Not like¡­ not like other things that claim that title. She was never born, chosen, or rose to great power. At least not here with us.¡±


    Bulderii doesn¡¯t interrupt, just¡­ waits. Fingers gently begin to massage the knuckles of my right hand. It¡­ It hurts. But the pain keeps me awake so I don¡¯t try to stop her.


    ¡°Everything is¡­ is Her dream. The Fae, the Rifts, and everything in between. She¡¯s not a great power who bends things to her will, Because everything is already a piece of Her.¡±


    ¡°But¡­ she¡¯s dead?¡± Is Bulderii¡¯s first question.


    I flinch as she presses into a sensitive bit, then nod.


    ¡°Then how does the dream go on?¡± She pauses her work on my hand. ¡°If the sleeper is dead?¡±


    I grimace, remembering¡­ Wait. Were these my mother¡¯s words? I frown as I can¡¯t remember her telling me these things. But¡­ there they are. Clear as any other memory. Stored in my mind at the same place as other simple things.


    ¡°It¡­ didn¡¯t. Doesn¡¯t... Not well.¡± I murmur automatically. ¡°Didn¡¯t you feel it? When you stood in the Dead Dreamer¡¯s Wood?¡±


    ¡°Is that where we found you? I did not know it¡¯s Fae name.¡± She resumes her work on my hand. ¡°I try not to dwell on the things I felt or observed there. I have no words to describe it.¡±


    ¡°Rot.¡± I supply on reflex, smile at the thought of my old home.


    Bulderii flinches, squeezes my hand so tightly I hope she might tear it free and allow me to restart.


    ¡°Yes.¡± She whispers, and it¡¯s the second time I¡¯ve heard fear in a Reaver¡¯s voice.


    ¡°It¡¯s spreading.¡± I giggle. ¡°Like an infection or¡­ or decay on a limb when it loses blood and¨C¡±


    A bone breaks in my hand and Bulderii is shoving her free one down my throat. Pinning my tongue to gag and choke my words. Sending me into a panicked flailing.


    ¡°Stop!¡± She hisses, pulls my maimed hand away so far she nearly dislocates elbow or shoulder.


    I bite down and try to get free, barely manage wheezing breaths through my nostrils while digging my good talon into the hand choking me, but I¡¯m still so tired and weak. She doesn¡¯t release me until I¡¯m just a mostly still twitching mess beneath her. Even then, only very carefully does she pull her fingers free.


    ¡°Why!?!¡± I croak. ¡°Why did you do that?¡±


    Bulderii shakes blood and bile from her hand before pulling my head back to glare down at me.


    ¡°Stop.¡± She snaps, nails dig into my skin. Twitch toward my mouth.


    I obey, but form what must be a horrid glare. She just¡­ stares down at me. Amwella sight glimmers, but just seems to make her even more wary.


    ¡°Rest, and be quiet!¡± She commands. Hard and unmoving.


    I hiss, but¡­ she releases my head. Lets me turn away from her. But¡­ my hand remains securely in her possession. Still aching and horrible. She doesn¡¯t massage it anymore. Just lets it swell and throb at the newly broken bones.


    Bitter anger helps me fight to stay awake, and I¡¯m sure¡­ sure I hear something from downstairs. Not a shout¡­ but¡­


    I¡¯m haunted by flashes of Awnya getting hurt¡­ being killed¡­ and especially after seeing Thendra fight. I choke on a sob as I remember the blue watcher that Thendra got a hold of. How she simply tore head and eyestalks from neck.


    Bulderii has no sympathy for me. Grips my wrist like cold steel, rests a hand near my head for¡­ for easy access to smother me again if I so much as whisper.


    It¡¯s easy to hate her then. To¡­ to want to hurt her as I begin to drift into oblivion. Consider all the beautiful writhing things I could hatch and lay in her wretched soul. Even¡­ oh I could weave such wondrous blights to make sure she never EVER hurts me again. Can bind her will and soul to me like Thendra would never even dream to¨C


    ¡°Sing what healing you need.¡± Comes a stern command, jerking me awake.

 Chapter 29: Betrayal for Love and Life

    Content Warning:


    broken body and healing


    physically restraining


    Fear of mutalation through biting and regrowing through healing as torture.


    As I hum a low healing tune, work to build a melody best to begin the painful work, I open crusty eyes to Thendra leaning over the bed in front of us. Bulderii still holds me¡­ but¡­ she¡¯s leaning back. Letting Thendra run fingers through my hair and grip my maimed hand.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Thendra purrs, not¡­ angry. But¡­ careful. A warning is easy to read in her tone.


    I can¡¯t reply, so I just stare at her with worry and bleary desire and¡­ fear at her unspoken questions. She helps pull me to sit up, takes my hand from Bulderii and offers me a drink from a waterskin.


    I nod.


    She commands an end to my song, and I drink greedily, even empty the huge thing.


    Only whisper as I lay it aside and wipe my lips. ¡°Is¡­ Is she safe?¡±


    A low growl of warning leaves Thendra¡¯s chest, fingers¡­ don¡¯t tighten around my wrist. But go stiff. ¡°Is that why you tried to sing without my command?¡±


    I jerk up to meet her jade eyes. ¡°Wh- What? I didn¡¯t!¡±


    Thendra studies me. A sudden anxious fear of her using my Lament to sting and torment me starts to bubble, especially now when I¡¯m in so much pain, jerks me into full wakefulness. My mind shows me a nightmare of her biting off parts of me just to¡­ to force me to regrow them. Over and over and over. Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits please no no no no!


    I jerk around to glare up at Bulderii. ¡°Why are you lying to her? Do¡­ Do you want me dead or¨C¡±


    Thendra snatches my chin and yanks me around to face her. ¡°I sensed your song.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t¨C She¡¯s¡­¡± I stammer and shake my head fiercely. ¡°She just¡­ suddenly got mad and shoved her big stupid hand down my throat.¡± I wiggle my restrained talon. ¡°Broke something else too. I don¡¯t even know why!¡±


    A long pause passes as Thendra studies my face, bores jade eyes into me. Not exactly anger. But¡­ annoyed confusion is what seems to settle on her. Then she looks past me, to Bulderii.


    I feel her shrug. ¡°She did some kind of magic. Hundat would have been the woman to ask. She followed you into the wastes as Lyra was trained. Would know what to look for.¡±


    Thendra looks back to me. ¡°What did you do, little Fae?¡±


    ¡°Nothing!¡± I shout, dig talons into her wrist in sudden anger at all the ways she could have killed Awnya. ¡°Just¡­ tell me that you didn¡¯t hurt¨C¡±


    She growls in a flash of anger, real and hot enough to make me flinch. I would have jerked back as if slapped if her fingers weren¡¯t digging into flesh and holding me in place. So instead I just¡­ stop. Thoughts end as this little nest of warmth I sit in snaps into clarity. Reminding me that I am surrounded and restrained by two very dangerous predators.


    ¡°You¡¯re¡­ you¡¯re right¡­¡± I stammer, carefully release her wrist and lower my hand. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡­ I¡¯m just¡­ I didn¡¯t mean¡­¡±


    She just gores into me with her jade eyes, so I keep going.


    ¡°I did not sing. I don¡¯t know what Bulderii is talking about. Why she¡­ she got angry and afraid.¡± I take a deep breath. ¡°My¡­ my core would¡­ my Amwella can¡¯t handle that. The curse¡¯s bite.¡±


    Thendra¡¯s grip loosens, but her anger remains. And I see what it really is. Fear. Fear at¡­ I don¡¯t know. She could tear me to shreds before I could ever even hope to kill or curse her with a song so I have no idea what she could be afraid of!!!


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I whisper instead. ¡°I wish I could tell you more, but¡­ I¡¯m so tired and useless right now. I¡­ And I¡¯m so scared that you hurt or¡­ or ki¨C¡±


    ¡°She didn¡¯t.¡± Comes a wonderful voice.


    My eyes just make out the edge of her amazing blaze of hair past Thendra¡¯s looming shape.


    ¡°Awnya¨C¡± I begin to whisper as a wash of relief drains a mountain of tension and worry.


    Bulderii shifts, quick and without even causing me to do more than sink deeper into soft quilts, and is beside the bed. Thendra growls, but does not release me or turn.


    I watch as Awnya shrugs and leans against the doorframe. ¡°Heard shouting. Got bored and curious. Worried and such for my gracious host.¡±


    There is a pause. Thendra¡¯s eyes remain locked on me. I jerk mine back to meet hers.


    ¡°Please.¡± I mouth to her soundlessly.


    She doesn¡¯t nod. But I do see her anger cool.


    ¡°Then you have seen that both my Fae and I are safe and well.¡± She doesn¡¯t shift. ¡°You can leave.¡±


    ¡°Barely¡­¡± Awnya smirks. But it doesn¡¯t reach her eyes. ¡°Half of half of that¡­ at most.¡±


    That does make Thendra turn, slowly. But still, she does not release me.


    Awnya sighs. ¡°We literally just went over this, big girl.¡±


    ¡°You will not dictate how I handle¨C¡±


    ¡°What is yours, yes.¡± Awnya bristles, even the hint of the smile gone. ¡°But, Dreamer¡¯s Tits, this really isn¡¯t how you want to die.¡±


    That makes Thendra pause.


    ¡°We could literally feel the Dream stir, from, like¡­ downstairs. She¡¯s supposed to be resting, healing. Not¡­.¡± She waves at Thendra''s hand with real scorn, ¡°Whatever this is.¡±


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    ¡°What?¡± I nearly yelp, cold fear that Awnya¡¯s words will¡­ will make Thendra want to hurt me. ¡°But¡­ But I didn¡¯t do anything!¡±


    ¡°From the looks of things. You were probably a little¡­ distracted by¡­¡± Awnya glances over to Bulderii. ¡°Was it this one? Was she the dumb forest goose nibbling at the bear¡¯s butt?¡±


    Bulderii doesn¡¯t respond, but we can all see her fists tighten.


    ¡°Fae.¡± Thendra growls, does release my chin then. ¡°My Reaver would not harm her without cause.¡±


    ¡°Without¡­. Cause?¡± Awnya tilts her head. ¡°What does that even mean? How¡­ easily could Lyra give you or yours cause to hurt her?¡±


    A long pause. Awnya¡¯s expression shifts to a full on glare.


    ¡°Huh¡­ Guess Usete wasn¡¯t wrong.¡± She murmurs, then pushes off the wall to stand straight. ¡°This really is as terrible as it could be.¡±


    No. No no no no. Stop it. Don¡¯t¨C


    Thendra moves to stand. Steady thrum of Amwella focus crackles to life before popping into place just as she needs to place weight on her leg.


    ¡°We Fae don¡¯t respect slavers.¡± Awnya whispers, fingers moving to touch the hilt of the blade on her hip. ¡°And I¡¯m starting to get the feeling that Usete was spot on with their¨C¡±


    ¡°STOP!¡± I shout. Jerking everyone in the room to pause, and at least glance my way.


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Awnya asks, surprise tinting her glare.


    I huff. Look up to Thendra who still holds my blackened and unfinished maimed hand. Notice a¡­ a strange expression in her eyes. I can¡¯t hesitate. Can¡¯t let fear stop me from trying to end this before either of these two kill each other.


    So I use Thendra¡¯s grip on me to stand on wobbly legs atop the bed. Even with the extra height I just barely reach eye level with her. I move up, reach across Threnda and very gently prompt her to face me. She resists, but¡­ something in my expression makes her drift just close enough.


    Even¡­ even if I have to hurt one to save them both.


    ¡°Awnya.¡± I force anger and lust and annoyance through the words, ¡°You¡¯re barely half right.¡±


    ¡°Hey maybe we should¨C¡± She starts, but I¡¯m already pulling Thendra into a long and hungry kiss. Letting my own unsteady exhaustion force me to lean into her warmth and solid strength.


    It takes her a second, but then she releases my hand and is hooking an arm around my waist, traps me against her even when I start to pull back. Almost sinks teeth into my bottom lip in return. My dark goddess drowns me in spice and hunger that sends warmth through me, even in this wretched state. But¡­ eventually I¡¯m pressing against her chest. Signaling I need air and¡­ and to finish my betrayal.


    She doesn¡¯t let me go, but allows me to pull back. Take in a few deep breaths. A long pause settles, I only let myself see Awnya from the corner of my eye.


    ¡°I¡¯ve given myself to her. Maybe¡­ maybe I am a¡­¡± I spit out the words with vile misplaced anger, ¡°But I chose her. Came back to her. Will keep coming back.¡±


    ¡°Lyra¡­ you¡­ That curse isn¡¯t really giving you a choice.¡±


    I turn, plan to glare at her, but¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits her expression is not what I expected. I wanted, needed, anger or hatred or¡­ or something darker. Not¡­ not this! Not that cocky smile with concerned eyes.


    It kills my next words. Chokes the things that could save her in my throat.


    Thendra saves me with a purring laugh. ¡°Ah¡­ I thought I recognized your smell. Awnya of the Fae.¡±


    Her eyes move to Thendra, ¡°Oh?¡±


    Thendra¡¯s chuckle is horrible and cruel. A sick thing that revels in the pain I¡¯ve started, and how I¡¯ve now allowed her now to finish the work. ¡°You¡¯ve fed upon my Lyra, drank of her Amwella.¡± She purrs. ¡°Now you seek a second taste?¡±


    Awnya flinches back, as if struck by one of Thendra¡¯s fists instead of her words. ¡°What? That¡¯s not¨C¡±


    ¡°Awnya. I¡­¡± It¡¯s a perfect way to channel this hatred and self loathing into words that will sever her from ever wanting me again. Ever wanting to even look at me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry if I made you think it was anything more. But¡­ I¡­ I don¡¯t want to¡­ I¨C¡±


    Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits I¡¯m so bad at lying. Especially when it¡¯s to hurt this amazing warm soul of such love and life and¨C


    ¡°Alright.¡± She cuts me off. Brittle cocky grin settling across her face. ¡°Seems I overstepped.¡± She turns to Thendra, gives her a stiff nod. ¡°Apologies. I misunderstood your¡­ arrangements.¡±


    ¡°I will not pretend that my Reavers and I do not have a reputation.¡± She replies, nearly thrumming with a joy I haven''t seen since we first met. ¡°But, you''re correct about one thing though, Awnya of the Fae.¡±


    That surprises both of us, makes me jerk back to see her jade eyes.


    ¡°Lyra is struggling.¡± She draws up my maimed and horrid hand. ¡°If you could add your songs to hers, it¡¯ll greatly increase the speed in which she can recover. The healing gained over these past fifteen hours has been¡­ lacking.¡±


    Fifteen hours!?! I¡­ It felt like¡­ well not less time but¡­ My Amwella really hasn¡¯t healed like it should. But I need Awnya to leave. Not stick around and¨C


    ¡°Of course.¡± She sighs, ¡°That¡¯s¡­ That¡¯s why I¡¯m here. To help her. Always. ¡±


    I¡­ Oh Awnya. No! Just¡­ leave me. Don¡¯t waste your time here! Not... not on me! I''m... I''m just... too broken and...


    Thendra purrs, moves us to sit on the bed. Pulls me into her lap as the Amwella at her leg dissipates. ¡°Bulderii, bring Lyra a meal.¡±


    The Reaver hesitates, but nods and leaves.


    ¡°Please,¡± Thendra motions to the bed. ¡°Come assist in the healing songs.¡±


    Awnya pauses, eyes the big bed with¡­ something. But nods and approaches. Hops up and sits cross legged in front of me. Thendra takes my maimed hand, gently forces me to hold it out to her. Awnya shifts, glances down at the hand, winces.


    ¡°We¡­ I¡¯m going to start by taking a look at her Amwella.¡± She says while taking the hand.


    I nearly panic. The thoughts of her¡­ of having to peer into her soul while she looks into mine. Of¡­ Of letting her see just how much of what I said was¨C


    ¡°No.¡± I whisper. Harshness melting over my words, hopefully disguising my panic.


    ¡°Hm? Why not?¡± Her eyes dart up, consider my words while warm gentle fingers clasp and rub the horrid nubs.


    ¡°I¡­¡± I can¡¯t meet her gaze, just¡­ glare down. ¡°Just¡­ only the basic shape of it. Don¡¯t go deeper.¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°Okay.¡± Awnya murmurs. ¡°We¡¯ll keep it surface level. I just need to see what kind of damage might have been done.¡±


    I nod, and her eyes sparkle with Amwella sight. Almost immediately they go wide, and her easy smile is suddenly so brittle it seems a simple tap would shatter her. I swear I see¡­ see such pain and horror.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Cunt!¡± Awnya sputters, looks away without ending the sight. ¡°Her songs aren''t the problem.¡± She squeezes her eyes shut, ¡°Give me a second. Need to¡­ Need to sing something to¨C¡±


    Then she¡¯s whistling something, weaving a lilting little tune of calm and healing. Thendra had begun to go very still when Awnya started, but at the end she seems to calm. I¡­ I¡¯ve never seen such a¡­ such a look of pain and anguish in Awnya''s eyes.


    I sigh, ashamed. I know how bad my soul is. Have seen the torn up and sad shape I¡¯ve left it in. And understand that her tune was one of self-calm. A¡­ a song to settle her mind and help her think a little better.


    ¡°Sorry.¡± I whisper.


    ¡°Lyra,¡± She ignores the questions, ¡°What did this? How did it get like¡­ that?¡±


    ¡°I messed up.¡± I murmur, ¡°I needed to lay a Lament on the Matron. But I¡­ she¡­ she stopped me before I could finish. And I held on to the curse. Then I had to sing another while also weaving a song of hiding to get to her.¡±


    ¡°Alright.¡± She nods, takes a breath. ¡°Yeah, that would definitely cause some of that. Anything else? Did the curse sting you much?¡±


    I wince, then nod. Avoid telling her about the night be¨C


    ¡°I also carved away at her Amwella the night before.¡± Thendra purrs.


    There is a long pause. Awnya¡¯s hands go still on my knuckles while her eyes move to the woman behind me.


    ¡°Why?¡± Her voice is sharp, angry.


    ¡°I let her.¡± I add quickly, ¡°Asked her to¡­ to¡­¡±


    To cut all the little parts of you from my soul.


    ¡°It was precise.¡± Thendra purrs, hand trails up my neck and into my hair. Totally unbothered by Awnya¡¯s anger and accusing eyes. ¡°But¡­ upon reflection it was probably unwise. She wasn¡¯t entirely healed by morning, and the strain of the conflict probably caused more damage.¡±


    Awnya lets out an angry sigh, looks past me. ¡°She needs Fae who know how to heal Amwella.¡±


    Thendra just¡­ rumbles. A warning that rolls through her chest, up the arm, and quivers the nails that brush my scalp.


    Really obvious conflict plays across Awnya¡¯s face as she switches her eyes back to mine. ¡°Lyra, how did you get back? To Theradas I mean.¡±


    The question startles me, takes a second to become clear. ¡°I¡­ I Riftwalked.¡±


    Awnya looks back to Thendra, while gesturing to me. ¡°She can come back whenever she wants.¡±


    The rumbling intensifies, ¡°Another Fae stole her away for weeks, and when she returned it was not... healed. Only¡­ distracted.¡±


    Awnya begins to speak.


    I reach out and take her hand in my good one, ¡°I need Thendra to heal myself. And¡­ and I don¡¯t want some Fae elder to try and¡­and fix me. Awnya, I still don¡¯t trust them. Only trust Usete because they sang me a promise song.¡±


    ¡°How about me?¡± She takes my other hand. Cocky bright smirk touches the corner of her lips. Hopeful and¡­ and a little¡­ well not desperate, but something akin to it.


    I almost blurt out; Yes, always!


    But pause and try to hide my thoughts instead¡­ Fail as a lie dies on my tongue at first. But, I force myself to close my eyes and shake my head. ¡°Please do it here.¡±


    Pain has touched her eyes when I open mine to look at her again, then¡­ a single nod followed by a confident shrug.


    ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll weave a harmony to your song.¡± Then she looks to Thendra. ¡°Have her stop the second I do.¡±


    She does, and we spend hours and hours dragging my Fae flesh back into its proper shapes.

 Chapter 30: Feast of Reavers

    Content Warning:


    -Soul feeding/torture.


    -Death.


    ¡°No.¡± I hiss the moment I see where Thendra has led me.


    Oblivion was a sweet release after a day of painful healing. No nightmares, no songs, just... peaceful quiet nothingness. I forced myself to remain awake until I was certain Awnya was gone and safe. Then I¡¯d collapsed into what Thendra told me was only five hours of rest. I¡¯d woken up sore and groggy, but¡­ restless. After bringing me breakfast, Thendra took my wrist and silently led me here. Leg better, but still needing that strange popping Amwella lightning to stand.


    The remaining five Reavers had gathered as Thendra pulled me along, now standing behind us as I stare into the room with a mix of fear and disgust.


    The two watcher kin, Voe and Zitra, sit wrapped in thin robes. All their eyes are closed as they sit in the corner of the barren room, trays of barely touched meals sitting before their still scarred flesh. But¡­ none of that matters¡­


    Because the moment I turned the corner, even without my Amwella sight, I can feel the little wriggling curses slumbering inside them. I almost vomit as I turn to leave, but Thendra catches my wrist again. Purrs a soft warning growl.


    Voe¡¯s head tilts up, but she remains otherwise perfectly motionless. Zitra¡­ she just¡­ leans her head back and stares up at the ceiling. The angry blood brand I¡¯d carved into her is still puffy and red and terrible.


    The talons of my freshly healed hand twitch. My body is whole, and my Amwella is¡­ better. Not like it was. Still raw and torn. Scars and cracks can still be seen by anyone with the eyes to look.


    ¡°Why bring me here?¡± I hiss, ignoring the blinded watcher as I turn to glare up at Thendra. ¡°The curses are set, you know their word and limits. You don¡¯t need any more placed on them to get anything you want.¡±


    ¡°Your soulfire needs to heal.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I just¡­ stare back. Confused, until the implications settle in. I would have stumbled if she wasn¡¯t holding me.


    No. No no no. Please NO! First you give me to your Reavers. Now¡­ Now you want me to mingle my soul with¨C


    Thendra kneels before me then. Takes my chin to force me to meet her eyes. I expect to find anger or annoyance there, but¡­ instead it¡¯s¡­  J¡­ joy? A real smile, predatory and calm.


    ¡°I¡­¡± Stammering, I try to struggle free. ¡°I¡¯m not¡­ I can¡¯t¨C¡±


    My eyes try to flit back to the Watchers. Bound by the horrible things I infested them with!


    ¡°You can.¡± She purrs, patient and¡­ and encouraging?


    Even in the desert Thendra hadn¡¯t been like this. Hard and resolute, she had pushed me to my limits. Only ever really showed enjoyment after I succeeded, and even less as we fucked. Almost¡­ Her words bring old memories of warm words my mother spoke to me as I fumbled and stumbled over new songs she wanted to teach me.


    That scares me even more than her anger or hard commands.


    ¡°They won¡¯t let me. Won¡¯t¨C¡± I try to pull away, Thendra lets me, but a hand does touch my arm to keep me from running.


    She lets out a purring laugh, and I can¡¯t stop a flinch at the sound. Still waiting for her to growl and just¡­ demand I do this. I look down, see these two blackened talons. They have to let me, because Thendra can command it. My writhing little Laments won¡¯t give them much of a choice.


    I look over to Voe. Remember¡­ remember the look in those horrible eyes as she stood over me. Began to¡­ to consume my Amwella as her Matron¡¯s monster strangled me. How she¡¯d always looked at me, how she¡¯d always hated me.


    ¡°I thought you didn¡¯t want me to feed.¡± I murmur, shaking the thoughts away. ¡°Said¡­ said I was ruining my Amwella. I¡­ I don¡¯t want to heal from this only to have you do that again. I can''t survive that a second time.¡±


    I imagine my times with Awnya, how warm and wonderful we made each other feel as our Amwella¡¯s merged and danced. Dreamer¡¯s Tits, how am I supposed to¡­ to even try to¡­ to have sex with that? I can¡¯t even find myself mildly attracted to Voe, much less willing to¡­ to try and pleasure her!


    ¡°You will give nothing of yourself up, only consume parts of their soul.¡±


    I jerk to stare at her.


    ¡°Rip and tear away what you need. Do not worry about her comfort or safety.¡±


    I squeeze my eyes shut as I try to suppress a shiver at the images. A weird mix of bile and¡­ something else. Something I don¡¯t understand.


    ¡°Oh.¡± I take a steadying breath.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits. I look back over to the Watchers. And can¡¯t help but feel a tingle of warmth roll down my spine at the idea of¡­ of hurting Voe. Of ripping and tearing and feeling her soul break under my¨C


    Thendra thrums, gently pushes me forward. Then I¡¯m standing only a few feet back, looking between the watchers warily. I glance back at Thendra, a worried question on my face.


    ¡°Neither of you will open your eyes, move, speak, or draw upon your Amwella.¡± Thendra purrs, ¡°No magic of any sort.¡±


    They both seem to¡­ to twitch, as the little Laments inside them wriggle and adjust to the new commands. These curses, made with intimate knowledge of those cruel Fae words are so much more flexible than the one I have embedded in my soul. I step forward, consider¡­ I only know how to absorb Amwella from willing partners. How am I even supposed to do this?


    Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.


    I step forward and kneel next to Voe. Reach out hesitantly, then look back to Thendra and the Reavers behind her for instruction. She doesn¡¯t say anything, doesn''t give me a path to understanding.


    Can you figure this out? Her jade eyes ask.


    I look Voe up and down, then reach out and¡­ touch her upper arm with a few fingers. As my Amwella sense flickers to life fully, her roiling soulfire mass seems to react to my touch. Recoils a little, even as her body remains perfectly still. I picture Thendra¡¯s big Amwella core, and all it¡¯s writhing powerful tendrils, trying to¡­ to emulate it. Try to reach out and¡­


    I open my eyes to glower at Voe. I¡¯m not big enough to¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits I need to get closer so I can even reach. So with a huff and careful to touch her as little as possible, I crawl forward to straddle her legs, and try again.


    She still doesn¡¯t move, not even a twitch. And It¡¯s¡­ a little better this time, the very tips of my core seem to almost¡­ but no. Still too far.


    I glare at Voe for a bit. Really really really not wanting to¡­ to touch this big lady!!! Even if the idea of hurting her sounds¡­ well not nice but¡­ like¡­ it¡¯s not like she doesn¡¯t deserve it! I just don¡¯t want to be near her at all!!!


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s¨C¡± I hiss, about to back away. To tell Thendra I can¡¯t do it! To¨C


    But then a strong hand is at my back, and Thendra is pushing me into the watcher. I gasp and freeze. I didn¡¯t even hear her come over and kneel next to me. A little sudden panic at the cold, and slightly¡­ well almost scaly skin I¡¯m being held against overwhelms me for a moment. Chest squished into her and lips almost touching Voe''s skin.


    But¡­ my Amwella sense is still going, and I can¡¯t help but¡­ but now my core is hovering next to Voe¡¯s. I feel the little tendrils of my soul reach out and press themselves against her¡¯s. It¡¯s¡­ strange. Where other¡¯s souls tendrils are sort of¡­ always waving about. Like hair in the wind. Voe¡¯s are slack and drooped, almost¡­ I feel about, and notice that they are also¡­ like¡­ really strange. Have little weird nubs at the end?


    I take a deep breath and let myself relax against her. Voe¡¯s¡­ well souls don¡¯t really have a temperature. But if they did she would be super cold. I feel myself squeeze one of the little tendrils draped beside her core with my own Amwella, trying to understand why it¡¯s so¡­ off. Weird and different from mine or Thendra¡¯s.


    Her core¡­ well it doesn¡¯t move, not really but it does seem to shudder. A¡­ a growl? But before it can grow to anything more than a little thing, a writhing parasite curls and nibbles. My curse, my Lament¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits! I¡¯d forgotten it was so¨C


    Her soul jerks, and falls back into stillness.


    I just¡­ don¡¯t move. A strange sensation seems to curl and weave around my soul as I watch my creation settle back into a sort of patient slumber. I squeeze the little tendril of Voe¡¯s, more in an attempt to comfort my own weird mix of emotions.


    Her soul is¡­ well I wouldn¡¯t call it beautiful. In fact I find it to be quite the horrid thing. As my Amwella touches hers¡­ it¡¯s almost like when Awnya would sing the soul-gazing song. I can sense little echoes of Voe¡¯s emotions. Mostly¡­ well fear and anger and¡­ and fury at my touch.


    I squeeze and pull on the little tendril harder.


    I¡­ I don¡¯t want to be here. Dreamer¡¯s Tits! You were the one who hurt me! Who¡­ gave me up to your Matron. Who¡­ who started to EAT ME!


    Harder.


    From the first time you saw me you only wanted to hurt me. Whether it was with my past, or trying to get Thendra to give me up to one of your¡­ your Dreamer cursed flesh eating places! Would have loved to rip AND TEAR AND BITE AND¨C


    Then the tendril I¡¯m holding rips, there is a pop and her Amwella shudders and starts to bleed from the wound. I can only stare down at the thing as it floats in the place between our souls. But¡­ I¡­ how did I¡­? The little pieces begin to shrivel on itself, turning darker and darker until¡­ it turns black, rots, and fades.


    Oh.


    I turn back to Voe¡¯s soul. Understanding¡­ And so I reach out and grab at another tendril, squeeze, pull and¡­ pop. This time I pull it close. Try to¡­ to mush it into my own soul. And like that, it melts and squishes into me. And¡­


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Cunt and Clit!!!¡± I shudder in pleasure as the little piece of Voe dissolves and is absorbed into my core. It¡­ It¡¯s almost as good as when Awnya and I¡­ Well, no. Not as much as that. But it¡¯s still so¡­ Amazing¡­


    I¡¯m already reaching for another tendril, even as her core shutters and bleeds and tries to pull away. Don¡¯t even pause between bites as I rip and tear, end up consuming three more before pausing. Warm purring vibrations emit from my Amwella as it absorbs the watchers'' soulfire, and I start to feel that same warmth gather all through my body.


    A sound rumbles from behind me. I open my people eyes and pull back. Voe is twitching. Jaw clenched in obvious pain and anger. I turn to see Thendra looking down at me.


    ¡°Did it¡­ Was that too much?¡±


    A predatory grin spreads as her Jade eyes glimmer with Amwella sight.


    I stare up at her for a moment, confused, then turn down to gaze at my own soul. There are still some scars, but Voe¡¯s parts are already dissolved and restoring the horrid cracks to solid smooth Amwella.


    ¡°Oh¡­ that¡¯s¡­ wow.¡± I shiver. Enjoy the rushing of warmth that still pulses through me way too much. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tit¡¯s that¡­ that was¡­¡±


    I try to stand, but end up tumbling a bit. Thendra catches me, holds me upright as I steady myself. Then she turns back and looks to her Reavers, there is a long pause. As my mind continues to buzz I have to take a moment to quiet the warm euphoric thoughts at¡­ at¡­


    I look up, only just now noticing the long silence that sits upon the room. Every Reaver seems to be looking between us, eyes dancing with some level of Amwella sight. Most seem¡­ contemplative. But I can recognize the hunger in others. Even Bulderii leaning against a wall in the back has her dull eyes locked on my core.


    I freeze.


    ¡°Our thirteen are shattered and weakened.¡± Thendra purrs, looking out over her Reavers. ¡°We need to feast, and recover what strength we can.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but lean away from them. No no no. Pl¡­ please! Memories of a week of butchery and feeding chill my spine and make my heart begin to thunder in my ears. Of how¡­ how Thendra fed me to them. How we¡¯ve just finished a battle and¡­ yeah my own Amwella sight confirms the ragged state of their own cores.


    The Reaver¡¯s move as one, begin to move closer. I would have stepped back, but Thendra still has my arm held. A¡­ All of them!?! One after the other!?! N¨C no. No, I can''t do that. NOT AFTER¨C


    A hand, not Thendra¡¯s, touches my hair and ruffles it, then the thrumming wave of Reaver heat is gone. I jerk up to watch as all the women move past us. Begin to kneel and crouch around the two cursed watchers. I can feel my eyes go wide and heart begin to thunder in my ears as I watch them begin to feed.


    Compared to them¡­ I was so gentle. A caress of chill wind warning of a coming storm. But the Reaver¡¯s¡­ they sink tooth and talon into actual flesh, growl and purr as their ravenous souls spring sharp claws along their elongated tendrils before plunging deep into the Watchers¡¯ souls.


    Voe and Zitra twist and hiss. But¡­ It''s only when my curses begin to grow agitated and active at their disobedience that they discover true pain. And I watch it all. Frozen in horror and disgust and¡­ warmth. Steady wonderful heat bubbles and rolls through me at the sight. Blackened talons twitch and¡­ Dreamers Tit¡¯s It¡¯s not until their soulfire¡¯s are butchered and maimed things that I understand why I¡¯m not vomiting at the sight of this.


    I want to keep feeding. I enjoyed doing this horrible ugly thing. I loved feeling Voe¡¯s Amwella tear and rip and the little slivers of her soul be consumed and ingested into my own. I... I... hate this. I don''t want to watch thi¨C


    Then there is a shout, a scream of words I don¡¯t understand.


    And one of the Reavers atop Zitra is just¡­ their upper torso is¡­ There is such a big searing chunk of flesh missing from her shoulder and arm amidst a lance of purple flame!


    Everyone near her pulls back as one of Zitra¡¯s little eyestalks flare up with burning purple light.


    ¡°Zitra don¡¯t¨C¡± Voe tries to hiss.


    But then all the watcher¡¯s eyes flash open, mouth curls into a snarl of words I can¡¯t¡­ no. No, it''s quite clear what she¡¯s saying. Even if I can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t understand the language, the black eyes she¡¯s locked on us all are very clear in her intent.


    Burn!


    I feel the magic gather, watch as her eyestalks rise around her like a mantle of power. Even begin to feel the unnatural heat begin to rise all around us¨C


    But then my little parasite swallows the little Amwella she has left whole. And like a puppet with her strings cut, Zitra falls into a slump on the floor. She pants while her face eyes go wide. There is such an odd look to her face as she tries to understand what just happened. Why her magic has left her. Why has the horrible pain suddenly stopped, why¡­ why does everything feel so strange?


    So cold?


    ¡°Zitra!¡± Voe whispers, twitches in pain, goes still.


    ¡°You may open and move your weakest eye, Voe.¡± Thendra whispers into the sudden quiet.


    One of Voe¡¯s little eye stalks opens, twists to¡­ to look at her fellow captive.


    She¡­ she¡¯s already dead.


    ¡°Voe¡­¡± Zitra whispers, looking back. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m¡­ I can¡¯t feel¡­¡±


    Black eyes turn¡­ milky. Glazed. She reaches for fellow watcher, takes the eyestalk in her hand. But I ignore the quiet moment they share, my eyes fix on the¡­ the parasite in Zitra¡¯s chest. As it¡­ it seems to wriggle and writhe and grow a little. Maw opens wide, drips fresh Amwella ichor, then bites down on the dream itself.


    It begins to burrow, and then it¡¯s... gone.


    By the time I tear my eyes away from that Zitra¡¯s body has caught up with her soul, and she¡¯s dead. No one else seems to have even noticed my curse¡¯s exit, they just stare at Voe. Almost vibrating with hunger at this last piece of soulfire.


    Thendra carefully releases me, moves through and past her Reavers, kneels beside Voe.


    ¡°Red Moonstone.¡± She purrs. ¡°You are going to feed my Reavers tonight, and if your soul survives, you may serve as mine.¡±


    There is a long pause.


    ¡°Or¡­ you may join your Zitra.¡± Thendra whispers, almost¡­ almost kindly. ¡°I take no pleasure in your suffering. I will command my Reavers to end you quickly and consume your soul before it fades.¡±


    She waits, Voe¡¯s one open eye just¡­ stares at Zitra¡¯s dead face. Then finally turns to look up at Thendra.


    ¡°You may speak your answer.¡±


    Voe hesitates.


    ¡°I will serve.¡± Voe whispers.


    Thendra purrs approval, rises, and returns to take my arm. But I can¡¯t stop staring¡­ not at this last watcher or hungry Reavers, but at the little rotten wound left on the dream where Zitra lies dead.

 Chapter 31: Soul Scratches

    <u>Content Warning:</u>


    Soul scratches and threats of assault.


    Thendra is gone.


    ¡°Read anything you find of interest.¡± She had said, motioning to the shelves of books as she gathered up a bag and prepared to leave. Her Leg is restored, albeit thinner and still regaining the muscle it had before.


    ¡°But¡­¡± I stammered stunned and still filled with the memory of the dream wound just a few rooms down. ¡°Where are you¨C¡±


    She silenced my question with a look, ¡°Bulderii will accompany me. Stay here, in this manor. Do not leave, by any means.¡±


    No riftwalking. Right. I¡­ I could now that my soul is healed.


    I hesitate, then nod. ¡°I won¡¯t. I just¡­¡±


    ¡°The Fae will probably visit after we¡¯re returned.¡± She reads my deeper worry and alleviates it a bit.


    I don¡¯t read a lie in her, don¡¯t sense that she¡­ that she was planning on trying to find and hurt her.


    I sigh and sag in obvious relief. ¡°Oh, Okay.¡±


    And now I¡¯m alone, trying to occupy my time by looking through Thendra¡¯s collection of books and scrolls. I let my nose lead me, trying to avoid books that hint of blood and death. Maybe¡­ maybe try to find books that smell of¡­


    But no, other than the book she¡¯d given me all those weeks ago, I find nothing else that even partially smells of the Fae.


    It takes me an eternity to even find a book I can read. Most are in strange languages, some that hurt my head to even look at. When I finally find a few tomes I can understand, I begin to make a little pile on the side table. It¡¯s only about 5 books high, but I¡¯m just glad to have found anything after nearly two hours of searching.


    So I sit down and open the first book. It¡¯s¡­ ugh¡­ just a weird little ledger. Lists and numbers about boring useless things from a hundred years past. I put it aside and check the next.


    This one is better, a journal written in an annoyingly messy script. I¡¯d have given up on the thing if the author didn¡¯t also include dozens and dozens of pictures. Apparently they were some kind of adventurer, and loved cataloging and illustrating the weird and wild things found in their travels. The clearest are little mundane creatures, while the more messy are the things that apparently tried to kill them. Thus needed to be drawn for memory or while staring at a corpse.


    Due to my trouble understanding the author''s words, I eventually just give up and turn to the next book. It¡¯s¡­ huh¡­ really weird. Kinda a journal but also a story. A retelling of some merchants'' rise to power and fame in some city I¡¯ve never heard of. And they are¡­ well they describe themselves in an odd way that¡¯s difficult to understand, seeming to have some kind of limb coming out of their face. So¡­ not human or Reaver or¡­ well definitely not a watcher.


    Honestly just the fact that the words are clean and easy to read makes this something I end up settling into.


    But eventually my stomach growls loud enough I have to deal with that problem. After that first disastrous day, Thendra hadn¡¯t even taken me near that little side room with food. Just¡­ always brought me a tray of fruit. But¡­ Thendra isn¡¯t here. And I am very hungry.


    She¡­ she just said to not leave the house. So she must expect me to get food on my own. Which¡­ I mean, fair. I¡¯m not a child. Just¡­ she¡­ she knew the smell of flesh bothered me.


    So I wander downstairs and find myself crossing the large room to¨C


    Three Reavers sit amidst the fluffy couches. A mess of food and drink among them as they lounge. A few of words pass between them as I appeared, but their words slow and stop as their eyes lock on me.


    I freeze for a moment, instincts screaming at me that I¡¯ve been spotted by predators. But¡­ These are Thendra¡¯s Reavers. They won¡¯t hurt me. So I turn, take a deep breath and move to stand at the entrance to the room with the food. Already I can spot piles of flesh food and blood soaked things and¡­


    I hold my breath and focus. The trays are easy to find, and while It takes me longer than I would like, I do find a little side shelf filled with a strange mix of growths. Vines and leaves and colorful shapes that alert me to the food I seek. After that I discover a keg and mugs that keep the warm cider. By the time I''m back in the bigger room, I have to pause and take a few deep breaths. Glad for my Fae body''s ability to go without air for much longer than my old form.


    ¡°Little Fae.¡± Comes a call from across the room. I jerk over to see the women still sitting, still just¡­ staring.


    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    I freeze again, instincts howling now. I¡­ I recognise all of them. Remember¡­ remember how they¡­ how they each fed upon me. The one who seems to have called out to me, she¡­ she was¡­ um¡­ well not the worst. But¡­ she liked to bite, I think.


    I make some kind of small murmur of reply, and begin to leave.


    ¡°Come.¡± She purrs.


    I almost jerk. Caught between fears.


    ¡°Um¡­¡± Is what comes out as I glance down at my tray. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not¡­¡±


    ¡°Come. Here.¡± She demands, voice low and hard.


    I gulp, and very carefully approach.


    When I¡¯m about five feet away I stop. I know if any of them wanted to pounce this distance would mean very very little. But¡­ in those final steps I see and smell their meal of flesh and can¡¯t help but scrunch up my nose and stop. This Reaver¡­ Twital? I think, regards me. Eyes seem to roll over my barely clothed form, but stop at my core. I shudder a little as her eyes glimmer.


    ¡°Your Amwella seems¡­ healed.¡± She murmurs, almost¡­ accusatory.


    Her tone worries me. So I just nod.


    Then she¡¯d moving. Half crouched now and hooking one of my arms to pull me closer. I barely keep my food tray steady, as it begins to tip her other hand snaps up to keep it still with a single finger. ¡°We were promised a feast, but instead were only given your scraps.¡±


    ¡°Wh¡­ What?¡± I stammer, try to lean away from her sudden anger and foul breath.


    One of the other women chuckles. ¡°She barely even nibbled on the older watcher, Twital.¡±


    ¡°And yet, she still looks fully restored, Amwella vibrant and full to bursting.¡± Twital growls.


    I don¡¯t like where this is going. Don¡¯t¡­ No. No I won¡¯t¡­


    ¡°Yours isn¡¯t?¡± The other nudges her leg lazily.


    ¡°Not as full as it should be, especially with¨C¡± There is a long pause, and the other two women seem to thrum with¡­ something. ¡°We need more, if we¡¯re to match the strength of those lost.¡± She purrs. ¡°Lost due to her return.¡±


    She¡¯s not talking to me now. Not asking or even demanding anything of me. Just¡­ considering with her fellow Reavers if I should be their next meal.


    I¡¯m panicking then, brumbles rolling down my flesh as if some serpent is slowly curling around my heart and soul. While my body is completely still, my mind and Amwella a fury of instincts and horrid Fae words and¨C


    Twital isn¡¯t looking at me, her attention is on the two others. If I can just¡­ but I¡¯d have to drop my food. But Dreamers Tits that doesn¡¯t matter right now! I need to run! Need to¡­ to hide or¡­ or¡­


    But she relaxes, glances back. Ugly rancid breath washes over me as she sighs.


    ¡°Thendra will feed you to us again, little Fae.¡± She purrs. ¡°Be careful to not damage your Amwella before then.¡±


    Then she releases my arm, pulling both hands back as she re-settles and turns attention away from me. I almost drop my tray from the sudden shift, but the moment she¡¯s out of arm''s reach I¡¯m nearly stumbling back and turning to¨C


    Something strikes the center of my back, a cold and sharp pain that makes me hiss and tumble. Tray hits the floor, spilling its contents as I sprawl. On reflex I¡¯m jerking around, eyes wide and a plea on my lips and¨C


    But¡­ the Reaver¡¯s haven''t moved, and only the quiet two even look my way with odd mixtures of amusement. Twital still faces away. It takes me a moment to move again. I rise slowly, and as I begin to gather my food I try and take stock of¡­ well of myself. No wound on my back, not even a little bruise or cut. So¡­ what was¡­


    Realization hits as I allow my Amwella sight to trigger. A¡­ a little fresh wound stretches across my soul, left by¡­


    Whirling and curling out from Twital is a thick and long tendril of angry claws and teeth. Longer than any of Thendra¡¯s, but attached to a core much much smaller. Easily able to reach me, even now.


    I hiss and scramble back, eyes locked on this before unseen threat. The Reaver purrs out a cruel chuckle, but does not move.


    After a few moments, I gather what I can of the food and half spilled cider wine, and rush up the stairs to Thendra¡¯s chambers. I end up taking my half-missing meal into the bathroom. Huddle down into the empty bathtub, and eat in shaking silence.


    She¡¯s¡­ She¡¯s wrong. Thendra¡¯s done with that. That was a¡­ an emergency. She needed her Reavers stronger. I lie to myself. She¡¯ll never do that again. If Twital tries that Thendra will protect you.


    Eventually I grow bored and cold enough to turn on the bath and allow myself to become immersed in the warmth, even¡­ even begin to drift into an anxious slumber.


    A purr, and I jerk to see Thendra staring down at me. A¡­ curious look on her face. Dreamer¡¯s Tits I always forget how quiet she can be.


    I can''t help but relax at her return. The water is cold by now, but as I start to rise Thendra begins to move, strips off her lightly worn tunic and begins to lower herself naked into the fairly cold water.


    ¡°Oh, I can warm it back up¨C¡± I begin to reach back to the handle, but she stops me.


    ¡°I prefer it cold.¡± She purrs before leaning her head back as she soaks in the water.


    ¡°Oh. I¡­ I always wondered how you could stand it like this.¡± I say as I move to sit on the bath¡¯s edge. Shake and shudder the water away as I reach for a towel.


    But she catches my wrist. I pause, turn back expecting eyes filled with hunger, but instead find them touched with curiosity. ¡°Your Amwella bears a fresh scar.¡±


    I flinch at the memory of Twital, of her words and threats...


    ¡°I¡­ I didn¡¯t sing.¡± I stammer out, worried she¡¯ll misread it like she did the night with Bulderii.


    She purrs acknowledgement, but otherwise waits.


    ¡°Um¡­¡± I look down into the water. ¡°One of the Reavers, Twital, I think. She¡­ well I¡¯m not sure but she took a scratch or¡­ or a bite or¡­ something.¡±


    Thendra releases my hand then, leans back, seems content and unbothered by my answer.


    That¡¯s it. That¡¯s¡­ it!?! My anger begins to bubble. Her old words, her promise that¡­ that I¡¯d not be punished or hurt. Except by her.


    Thendra opens one eye to regard me, reads my anger and pain plain.


    ¡°Next time,¡± She purrs, face serious. ¡°Bite her back.¡±


    That jolts me to a stop. The¡­ the idea of it so ridiculous that I think she¡¯s joking or¡­ misunderstanding or...


    ¡°What!?!¡± I hiss.


    Thendra doesn¡¯t repeat herself, just closes her eyes and lounges in the cooled waters while I glare at her.


    ¡°Wh¡­ She¡¯s¡­ I¡¯m not¡­¡± I stammer, eventually regroup my thoughts. ¡°She¡¯ll tear me to pieces.¡±


    ¡°Not unless you reach for your Fae songs.¡± Thendra makes a thrumming sound. A bit of annoyance, but¡­ also something else. A warning. ¡°Which you will pay for dearly if you do.¡±


    Her tone sends a cold shiver of fear down my spine. Especially here, literally sitting where she showed me the pain awaiting me if I tried to steal songs from her.


    ¡°But¡­ what am I even supposed to do!?!¡± I finally ask. ¡°Like¡­ Thendra, look at me. I¡¯m¡­ I wove this body for¡­ well not violence. I can barely make you bleed with my talons, and even then you all heal so fast!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not a conflict of the flesh.¡±


    ¡°What? Try and deal with her big ugly soul tendril with my little flame.¡± I balk at the¡­ the idiocy of the idea!


    Thendra shrugs. ¡°Or submit and let her torment you.¡±


    ¡°You won¡¯t stop her!?!¡±


    Another single eye drifts open, the look she gives me answers her question. No, Lyra.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits. I can¡¯t help but jerk up and storm out of the bathroom. Angry and cold and¡­ and¡­ Why would she let Twital do this? Why let her torment me!?!


    Awnya doesn¡¯t return that evening, and I barely stop myself from¡­ well¡­ not accusing Thendra of anything. But¡­ at least pestering her about it.


    ¡°Your Fae spoke of exploring the Rorliras. Time moves¡­ oddly in that place.¡± She answers my unspoken worries, probably tipped off by my endless fidgeting as I read the same page for the third time.


    ¡°Oh¡­ I guess¡­ She had said she¡¯d only be gone for a few days before, but when I came back it had been six.¡± I murmur.


    Thendra purrs in reply, but otherwise we drop back into silence. Me at the little table and her at the desk. The next time the silence is broken it¡¯s by a growl from my stomach. I freeze, glance over to Thendra. She isn¡¯t moving. And¡­ well Dreamer¡¯s Tits I¡¯m not wandering out alone again. So I¡¯m content to¨C


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Thendra purrs, but doesn¡¯t look up from the long scroll she¡¯s reading. I think it¡¯s something Bulderii and her recovered from the Matron¡¯s estate. ¡°Go get us a meal. Try and toss some meat on my tray if you can stand the smell.¡±

 Chapter 32: Never Again

    <div>


    To my audience and readers. Take care of yourselves. This chapter is for me. And the events in it are... difficult to read.


    <div>


    I''m so so sorry, Lyra.


    <div>


    I''m sorry you are the object of my pain and past trauma, and function as a source of healing for this broken soul.


    <div>


    But... I WILL promise you this.


    <div>


    Never again.


    <div>


    All these soul drinking flesh eating fucks will rot while you blossom and find your happiness. For you are a wonderful soul of fire and beauty that will alter the Dream into a better place for you and yours. You will still feel pain and heartache, but after this, no one will be able to hurt you in this way ever again.


    Content warning:


    I have two. One for the physical attack, then when things turn even worse.


    But also know, the next chapter will be posted shortly after this one. And Lyra will be Biting The Fuck Back.


    Talons dig into the wood. I consider fighting her on this. But¡­ No. I can be quick. Maybe even¡­


    ¡°May I sing?¡± I ask, inspired to use my hiding song to avoid any Reavers.


    She smiles, ¡°When you return.¡±


    I frown and open my mouth to argue, but without moving her head, those jade eyes turn up to bore into me. No words, but her message is clear.


    So¡­ I try to move as fast and possible without flat out sprinting. No one is in the hallway or the food room, and I just¡­ ignore the smell and work as fast as possible to stack two trays with food and mugs of cider. Carrying them is a pain, and I can¡¯t run, but¡­ I manage. My Fae form is sure footed and has near perfect balance when I remain undistracted.


    I end up making it back to Thendra¡¯s room without seeing but one Reaver leaving a chamber much farther down a hallway. Thendra¡¯s eyes roam over me, seem¡­ odd. Then she looks at her tray. Nods. I managed to grab one of the less foul smelling meats for her alongside the bread and fruits. She has me sing a little thing, just¡­ just use the melody to calm my nerves as we go back to our reading and eating.


    But then Thendra speaks a nightmare into the room.


    ¡°You¡¯re going to sleep elsewhere tonight.¡± She murmurs, as if simply stating the color of the walls.


    I don¡¯t move for a bit, just¡­ stare down at the page.


    ¡°Wh¡­ what?¡± I whisper softly. Hoping¡­ hoping I just imagined her words.


    ¡°Still in the manor, just not here.¡±


    I turn then, stare across the room. ¡°Did¡­ Did I do something wrong? Is this punishment for¨C¡±


    Jade eyes flit up to me, nearly boiling over with¡­ something. Not anger, not hatred¡­ not¡­ Or maybe it¡¯s deeper? Maybe I messed up so bad somehow that she¡¯s¨C


    ¡°Take whatever books you¡¯d like, and go find a place for yourself.¡± She says with such a steady and flat tone that I cannot understand what lurks beneath. ¡°Do not return until morning.¡±


    I obey, but it''s¡­ just on reflex. And I find myself pausing with a couple books in my arms as I stare down at the floor tiles. Trying to¡­ to understand. Why is she doing this? This¡­ this has to be a punishment. I did something to somehow make her so upset that¡­ that she¡¯s wanting to hurt me.


    But what?!? And why not just¡­ tell me? Or hurt me herself!?!


    I¡¯ve stopped in a hallway, find my eyes wandering over the walls and half dark rooms. I never¡­ never really explored this place. And¡­ well¡­ as I begin to walk through the hallways and peer down passages I never even considered before. End up losing myself in a bit of exploration of the manor. Almost¡­ almost forget the fear and anxiety.


    Some rooms contain sealed crates and boxes, even furniture or beds. Others have shelves with oddities and books. I even find a few rooms with beds and some pretty comfy looking couches that match the ones kept downstairs. I¡­ I¡¯m not brave enough to touch anything. After visiting the Matron¡¯s libraries and hearing about the wards or traps placed I¡¯m pretty scared of what might lurk beneath any such treasures.


    However, a few times I do hear murmured purrs or movement, and end up ducking into a room and waiting for them to fade. Once or twice I even see silhouetted shapes pass. I¡¯m too frightened to even work up my Amwella sight then, not sure I even want to know if it¡¯s Twital.


    Eventually weariness settles upon me, and I begin looking for a good place to hide and sleep.


    I settle upon a room with lots of crates, some busted and disheveled. But out of sight is a little nook between the huge boxes that would make it difficult to see from the hallway or entrance. It''s pretty uncomfortable, even compared to the times I¡¯d slept on the mucky and cold forest floors. But¡­ I¡¯m so exhausted from the day I just use the books as a headrest and pass into a fitful slumber.


    A distant purr stirs me, and I wriggle, twisting and turning to reach out for Thendra¡¯s warmth and¨C


    ¡°I smell you, little Fae.¡±


    My eye¡¯s jerk awake, and instincts kick in. I pull myself deeper into my nook at the sound of Twital¡¯s voice. She¡¯s in the hall, at least I think she is from the slight echo of her voice. I can¡¯t hear her footfalls though, Reavers are so Dreamer Cursed quiet!


    Silence then. And I curl around myself more as I wait. And wait. And wait. Sleep is totally impossible now as a realization overcomes me. I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m being hunted!?! Why!?! Why is she doing this!?! Did¡­ Did Thendra tell her she could feast on me again? Is she just¡­ planning on cornering me in these secluded hallways and taking bites of me regardless?


    I finally take a small and very very quiet breath, and activate my Amwella sight.


    Nothing. It can¡¯t see through most solid objects, at least¡­ at least not normally. But with the enhancement to my vision I slowly crawl toward my little nook¡¯s opening, and peek outside. The dim light of the hallway shows me nothing waits in the entrance, and the room seems clear of any Reavers. They¡¯re all huge, so I don¡¯t think she could sneak around¨C


    A tendril of Amwella curls down from above me, and I freeze as I realize my mistake.


    ¡°Found you.¡± Twital purrs from the crates and wall above.


    How did she¡­ how did she get up and behind without a sound!?! I consider running in my sudden panic. As my heart pounds in my chest and thoughts shatter into a primal mess of old instincts. Fear of pain, fear of being pinned and beaten and tortured and¨C


    If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    But she waits, and I scrape talons on the floor in fear and anger.


    ¡°What do you want?¡± I hiss, and slowly turn to face her. Try to conceal my emotions behind a glare. Nearly glowing gray eyes peer down at me, feet and talons grip the wall as if they were twisting gnarled tree bark instead of smooth tiles. A smirk twitches at her lips.


    ¡°I want you to come with me.¡± She purrs, Amwella tendril curling around my neck.


    ¡°Why would I ever¨C¡± Although I can¡¯t feel the horrid thing, a flinch jerks my eyes from her.


    Twital moves in that second, causing me to need to scramble back into a nearby wall as she kneels and moves to crawl over me. Pinning me without actually having to touch any of my flesh.


    ¡°Because, that¡¯s our best use of you.¡± She whispers, foul flesh coated breath washing over me. ¡°Other¡¯s Amwella wither and expire too quickly, and even fewer contain soulfire rich enough to be worth our time.¡±


    I would have snorted if I wasn¡¯t so terrified, so instead I just turn my head and move the wrist of a blackened hand to block the rancid smell. ¡°Thendra won¡¯t let you, she¨C¡±


    ¡°Not for the moment. But if you wander into our beds willingly¡­¡± Her tendril continues to twist and curl, now winding slowly around my own Amwella. Just barely far enough back to avoid touching it.


    No. That¡¯s¡­ I¡¯m not just¡­ She¡¯s¡­ That lights a spark of real anger that begins to burn at the edge of the fear. Gives me a great deal more courage than sense.


    I turn back, meet her gaze, and hiss very softly.


    <u>Start of a physical/soul attack start here.</u>


    That doesn¡¯t even make her pause, only seems to make that smile turn even more cruel. Ugly black teeth shimmer in the darkness. Fingers suddenly grip my ankle, yank me beneath the big woman. Then her tendril of Amwella curls around mine, teeth pop out, dig into my soul.


    I jerk to scramble back, trying to claw and twist away. Talons rake across her chest and shoulder and face. Panic floods me, I¡­ I can¡¯t even reach for my Amwella. Not because of Twital¡¯s tendril or my own fear, but¡­ but because Thendra¡¯s threats still lay heavy on my mind. Promises of pain if¡­ if I even think of using my songs to defend myself here!


    ¡°Just relax, little pillow slave, let me take my bites and this¡¯ll be over quicker.¡±


    The thing around my soul squeezes, begins to drag itself across my core¡¯s surface. I¡¯m vaguely aware of my own hissing and spitting and kicking. But¡­ she¡¯s just¡­ too big! Too much muscle and weight and¡­ and¡­


    But¡­ this isn¡¯t a contest of the flesh.


    Thendra¡¯s words make me pause, almost¡­ almost calm me as I continue to feel Twital¡¯s horrid tendril begin to carve at my soul¡¯s edges. But¡­ what¡­ how would I¡­


    I focus, try to¡­ to remember how I tore at Voe¡¯s soul. How I¡¯d controlled my little soulfire tendrils to rip and tear at her gross Amwella. Try to do the same as I wrap little wigglers around the sharp and twisting thing that bites into me.


    I fail, of course. It¡¯s¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tit¡¯s I¡¯m like some baby panther struggling against a full grown bear! My little pathetic soul can¡¯t¡­ it can¡¯t match this thing. Can¡¯t even scratch the stupid outer layer.


    It squeezes tighter, and¡­ and¡­ I¡­ I can¡¯t¡­


    I almost sing then. Begin to weigh the punishments I¡¯m willing to suffer. Gather up my Amwella in sudden anger and reckless instinct and¨C


    My soul melts, goes¡­ huh. Gooey? And just¡­ kinda¡­ slips free of the big ugly limb. Both of us stop then. A shared moment of hesitation and surprise as we both watch my soul wriggle about before popping back into its old shape.


    Then Twital growls¡­ and¡­ oh. Dreamer¡¯s Tits she wasn¡¯t mad before. Then she¡¯s re-weaving her tendril around my core as larger, more terrible shapes grow from its surface. I yelp in panic and renew my physical struggle before gasping in pain as she regains a hold of me.


    Eventually I manage to turn my soul¡­ um¡­ well I¡¯m not sure. Melty? But the curse ignores the change, so I wrap all my focus around the act, and wriggle my soul free again. This happens a few more times. Twital growls and snarls as her big hands hold me in place, soulfire tendril chasing and clawing and still sometimes biting and ripping very little shards free. But¡­ So long as I focus I can keep my Amwella soft and¡­ and I don¡¯t know¡­ melty enough so that her teeth and claws just pass through it like water.


    As the Reaver¡¯s rumbles of anger and annoyance grow louder and more annoyed, Thendra¡¯s words pop back into my mind.


    Next time, Bite her back.


    That¡¯s¡­ Dreamers Tits that¡¯s really stupid. I¡¯m nothing but a¡­ a jellyfish compared to this big ugly sharp thing! How¡­ how can I even¡­


    But between the loudest snarl yet, and a sudden twist. She¡¯s leaned down closer to me, chest and teeth only a few inches away. I know that in any other circumstance this would be a bad idea. Know that the Reaver could kill me in a hundred ways before I could even flinch. But¡­ Thendra promised¡­


    So I reach up and around, sink talons into Twital¡¯s shoulders while wrapping legs and ankles around her chest and hips, and pull myself up into her. I even sink teeth into her collarbone as I pull my chest into hers before wriggling my soulfire to sort of¡­ um¡­ kinda splat across her core.


    She jerks back a little, surprised that her prey would come so close. But within a second I begin to feel her soul as it pulses with emotions. Anger, surprise, fury, curiosity, hunger, fear, worry, panic¨C


    I don¡¯t have teeth or claws or big ugly tendrils to use, so I rely on my soul¡¯s everything to just¡­ squeeze at her. Pinch and clutch at the huge core. I ignore what are now very loud and furious snarls. Feel giant hands begin to peel and pull at my various limbs and face while her own soulfire tries to carve at mine.


    It¡¯s very easy for her to begin to get me off and shove me away, but¡­ then she jerks to a halt. My soul still clings to hers. And to pull it free would involve chunks of her own Amwella being pulled and ripped free. There is a pause, a¡­ and Twital¡¯s growls have lowered to an annoyed humming as she adjusts to a sitting position. I still cling to her with tooth and talon and both legs.


    ¡°Let go.¡± She snarls as a hand grips my hair, tugs.


    I bite harder, both with my teeth and soul. Hiss and snarl as I feel blood drip down my chin. That makes her flinch and stop. She can¡¯t hurt me too badly, not physically. And even with our huge strength difference she¡¯d have to break a bone or two to get me off her now. And that¡¯s not even considering the soul damage she would suffer.


    I wonder how much she can sense my emotions? My own fear and anger and weary Dreamer blighted annoyance. That¡­ that Thendra would let her do this. Why let this Reaver torment me? I just¡­ I did everything she asked!


    I lost¡­ lost a talon for her and almost¡­ almost¡­


    I¡¯m crying then. Tears bubbling out as I snarl and bite down harder. Talons dig deeper as I squeeze myself as close as possible to this monster¡¯s body and soul.


    Would she have left my corpse to rot with the others? The thought breaks something in me then. Floods me with such anger and rage that begins to wrack my entire body with shaking fury. I¡¯m going to hurt you. I feel my Amwella growl as Twital continues to shift and work through possible ways to get me off. You came after me! Found me alone and tired and still healing and¡­ and thought you could ravage me like¡­ like some¨C


    I¡¯m biting as hard as I can now. And¡­ Well I can literally feel Twital¡¯s Amwella surge to begin healing the wound. Between that and her already tough skin even my Fae sharpened teeth can only go so deep.


    We sit like that for¡­ well it feels like forever, as I get to feel Twital¡¯s soul work through this problem. I can¡¯t read her thoughts, but her emotions lay clear just how annoying this is. My soulfire seems to be doing an okay job of hurting her. I can feel her emotions gradually shift from anger and annoyance to¡­ I¡­ I don¡¯t recognize that emotion¡­ What¡¯s she planning?


    <u>STOP HERE, only pain lies ahead.</u>


    Then her hands wander down, fingers rake and trace patterns along my lower back and butt and¨C


    I jerk and almost lose my grip as her fingers press up between my legs, redouble my snarls and growls as she begins to carve sensual patterns into me. She rumbles out a purring laugh as I bite so hard my jaw begins to ache. Begin to¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits what is she¡­ w¨C why is she¡­


    Flashes of memory hit me, the last time the Reavers feasted on my soul sends a cold spike of fear through me. How¡­ how it was easier when I was¡­ Then she pulls aside my underthing and¨C


    I yelp and flail, begin to kick and shove and push away from the Flesh-eater. But she moves with me, pins the floor to my back while using her own wide hips to keep my legs apart.


    Then she uses one huge hand to pin both my wrists above my head and¡­ and she¡¯s¡­ she¡¯s fucking me with the other one. Fingers digging and pressing and moving around between my second lips and clit. I growl and kick and snarl. Try to wriggle away, but she just bites down at the base of my neck to Hold me in place.


    Angry cries turn to whimpers and sobs as I fight, eventually get control of my soul again to try and bite and tear at her. But¡­ she¡¯s just too big. I¡­ I can¡¯t¡­


    My Fae body is still too sensitive, and I can feel the bubbling warmth begin to overtake me even as my soulfire finds purchase on her Amwella. Begins to yank and pull and tear at something hard and sharp and¨C


    ¡°STOP! P¨C Please!¡± I hiss helplessly. ¡°Y¨C You¡¯re not supposed to¨C To¨C¡±


    It¡¯s too late, and I¡¯m bracing for the cold pain of a Reaver¡¯s Amwella feeding when the shuddering climax overtakes me. As my hips buck one last time and my chest jerks back from her, my Amwella is yanked free. Gasping and twitching and whimpering I watch as her long horrible tendril wraps around my core. Dreamer¡¯s Tits! I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m too weak, too twitchy, can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t move. Can¡¯t¡­ get away from that big ugly thing before she¨C


    But the tendril simply rakes over my core, slowly and casually. Not even leaving a scratch, before suddenly jerking and slurping back into Twital¡¯s Amwella. Then she¡¯s leaning down, lips at my ear as she purrs. ¡°Why fight this? Why resist your nature?¡±


    I shudder and turn to curl around myself. Body still a twitching mess of warm spasms and deep weariness. Soul and mind a whimpering puddle as Thendra¡¯s words roll through me.


    All others with Scorn or Ravage you.


    ¡°Come with me.¡± Twital looms overhead, still pinning me to the cold stone floor. ¡°Perform as the good little pillow slave Thendra bought you to be.¡±


    I jerk my head. No!


    Then brace for¡­ for more¡­ of¡­ that or¡­ pain or¡­


    But she just laughs and rises, ¡°Then I¡¯ll be back tomorrow night. And the one after that. And¡­ How do the Fae phrase it? Until the Dream ends, I¡¯ll keep coming back. You¡¯ll eventually come to want it, beg all of us to fuck and feed on you as Thendra does.¡±


    And then she leaves me. Cold and alone and shuddering with sensations I do not want! That¡­ that disgust me and drive me back into hateful tears. I¡­ I don¡¯t know how long I¡¯m like that. But I must pass into a fitful slumber eventually.


    When I awaken on the cold tiled floors my Amwella sight is still going, and before I push it away in horror and revulsion I notice something¡­ a small piece of Twital¡¯s soul slowly drifting through mine.


    I broke something free as I fought her.


    I almost spit and snarl and try to expel the thing, but¡­ when I look closer I¡­


    A tooth? So big and curled and sharp and¡­ and made of Amwella?


    Then, with pain and anger and spite, I begin to wriggle and melt my soulfire around the nasty thing.


    Dark plans forming...


    Never Again....


    Next chapter (Biting The F*** Back) should either be up or will be up very shortly.

 Chapter 33: Biting Back

    <div>


    Those blighted sots who dwell in Theradas? They make nothing, they weave nothing. Only spread the rot and ruin amidst the dream. I avoid that wretched city, only travel there when absolutely necessary. Many Fae have... they''ve sought an unweaving after trying to save the souls of those there. Become consumed with a despair so deep it drives them to embrace their old thoughtless life. One free of the knowledge of such things.


    For if a city could wail Her torments, it would be that one.


    - Ganzorig, of the Fae


    <u>Content Warning</u>:


    Attempted assault, violence, soul/body growths and alterations. Soul dismemberment (not of Lyra), soul feeding, and a little Fae having enough of this.


    It¡¯s halfway through the morning when I return to Thendra¡¯s chambers. Bulderii is there, discussing something annoying and stupid that I can¡¯t care about. I stumble past, drop my books off, and head straight for the bath.


    Neither stop me, but I can feel their eyes on my back.


    The rest of the day passes by quicker than I would like. I don¡¯t sleep, almost¡­ I almost try at one point. But¡­ my dreams drift into terrors. Nightmares of writhing soulflame, horrid tendrils, and¡­ rot. I end up jerking awake after only about a half hour. So I abandon the idea of rest and instead use the time to prepare.


    <div>


    ¡°May I sing?¡± I finally huff in annoyance at Thendra after I almost fall off the chair when trying to alter and reweave a troublesome part of my soulfire.


    She gives the command from across the room. I use the song to heal my body, sharpen my mind, and prepare for tonight. When Thendra allows me to stop her eyes linger on my core as the room goes quiet. Familiar glimmer in her eyes as she peers at my Amwella.


    And I wonder¡­ if even from there she can see the little hidden trap I¡¯m laying? She doesn¡¯t say anything, but¡­ I swear there is amusement and¡­ something else in her eyes as she looks back down to her scrolls. Dreamer¡¯s Tits. I¡­ I hadn¡¯t even considered that she would disapprove of my work. But¡­ that little look, real or imagined, is all the permission I need. It fills me with more anger and drive for the thing I plan to do tonight.


    Twital wasn¡¯t about when I¡¯d gotten food for myself and Thendra the two times I¡¯d been told to do it today. So as the night approaches, I find myself anxious and fidgety and¡­ well... scared. What if this doesn¡¯t work? What if¡­ what if my Amwella can¡¯t withstand the pressure? What if Thendra¡¯s Reaver decides to use more than before to subdue me?


    I choose to wander into Voe¡¯s chambers as the night approaches. Zitra¡¯s body is gone. But¡­ but the scar still remains. Only just, and only if I¡¯m standing at the right angle with my Amwella sight active.


    The remaining watcher is still and gaunt and horrible looking. And when I focus on her Amwella I can¡¯t help but wince and almost gag. Every little tendril it had has been ripped away, and while the wounds aren''t weeping, the core looks deflated and shriveled.


    I almost leave her there. Abandon this final desperate attempt to ensure I can defend myself from the flesh eater who¡¯ll come for me tonight. But¡­ then all my memories of Voe¡¯s cruelty and hatred return and burn hot in my mind.


    She¡¯s no better than Twital, she could have avoided this room if she¡¯d just¡­ not been such a horrible monster to me.


    I know the commands Thendra has given. Can see my curse slumber within her core. But I still kick her leg. She doesn¡¯t move. I nod, and move to straddle her legs like I did before.


    Then I¡¯m carving at the watcher¡¯s Amwella for more delicious soulfire to ensure my plan has a better chance of working¡­


    I¡¯m still shaking as I find the same room Twital ravaged me in last night. Partially in fear, but also in an after-feeding euphoria. She doesn¡¯t wait half the night this time. Just¡­ one second I¡¯m checking over my Amwella for the millionth time today, and the next I see her shape in the doorframe.


    A long silence presses down on me. I don¡¯t close my eyes, but do take a few steadying breaths as a cold panic begins to overwhelm me. Have to¡­ to grasp and scramble to replace the raw and mindless fear with anger and spite and¨C


    ¡°Hello, little Fae.¡± Twital purrs as her long ugly thing curls and unravels from her core. ¡°Do you mean to submit quickly tonight?¡±


    I turn my best glare to her, but don¡¯t trust my words to come out as clear and as threatening as hers, so I decide to let silence be my answer.


    She moves across the room, not as graceful or as fast as Thendra, but still faster than I can match. I¡¯m sitting on one of the larger crates, putting myself at about eye level to the Reaver. She pauses as her own eyes glimmer with Amwella sight, filled with a barely restrained hunger as that long tendril begins to curl around me.


    ¡°I can¡¯t say the struggle doesn¡¯t wet my appetite.¡± She leans in, terrible breath wafting over my face and mouth. ¡°And your Amwella truly is a feast to savor...¡±


    Closer. Closer¡­. I need you close! Horrid Dreamer Blighted flesh eater!


    Teeth and tongue caress my jawline and begins to slide along toward my mouth. Ugh, that¡¯s right, along with biting she also tried to shove her gross blood rank tongue down my throat when she fed on me.


    Hands begin to wander, and I decide she¡¯s more than close enough. I kick forward and pounce, digging talons and teeth into her flesh as my legs wrap around her hips. She purrs out a cruel laugh as my force is barely enough to even shake her balance. ¡°So eager? Maybe I¡¯ll just carry you to bed, that way we can truly enjoy your¨C¡±


    Then my Amwella settles against hers, and I spend a few seconds of her mewling to wriggle and position my soul at the base of the tendril, begin to wrap around and around and¡­


    Her fingers trail down my rear, ¡°How about I take the first bite right¨C¡±


    Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.


    The tooth I¡¯d fused to my soul springs forth in a sudden eruption of soulfire and motion. Sinks deep into the flesh-eater¡¯s Amwella, then begins to saw at her core. Twital jerks and snarls at the sudden pain. Her hands twist up to grasp at my shoulders while her big ugly tendril fails to twist and get a hold of my little soul. But I keep going. Keep biting. Keep tearing and ripping and snarling at this Dreamer BligHTED CUNT OF A FLESH EA¨C


    Then she¡¯s slamming me into a wall. Fingers claw and tear into my arms and shoulders and lower areas as her snarls get more loud and furious. I almost lose my grip a few times, but the curled tooth I¡¯m using to carve at her soul helps hook into her and hold me in place.


    ¡°Get off!¡± She growls and demands multiple times, each more loud and frenzied than the last as I carve deeper and deeper into her Amwella. But I can feel the true emotion behind her fury. Fear. Real and cold and nearly paralyzing. Can feel it¡­ it beginning to dissolve and flake away her reason and thought. And for a brief moment, I wonder if I¡¯m going too far? If¡­ if she¡¯ll ignore Thendra¡¯s commands and just¡­ break my arms or snap my neck?


    But just as she slams me against the wall for about the fourth time, there is a horrible tearing sound, followed by a pop and a slurping and¨C


    The shuddering euphoria of the unexpected feeding makes me lose my grip, letting Twital get horrible hands around and under me. And with a spin of her hips and shoulders she¡¯s tossing me across the room into the crates. I hear something buckle and crack, and hope it was wood and not my spine or head.


    I hear a¡­ a sound. My eyes flutter open to see Twital stumbling and growling. My own vision is spinning with starlight and pain and wonderful pleasure. Her Amwella is bleeding and weeping such a fountain of soulfire. I get to watch as her tendril writhes and wriggles and flops about in¡­ in¡­


    Wait. Why¡­ How is it moving? It¡¯s not attached to her. Why is it so close and¡­


    I look down and just¡­ stare as my own core continues to subsume and merge her former tendril into me. Wince and gasp as little flutters of new sensations pierce my mind as I become aware of the oversized ugly appendage that is being fused onto my soul.


    I¡­ Wh¡­ no. Get off!!! I¡­ I don¡¯t want¡­


    I tremble in pain and pleasure and furious satisfaction as my eyes lift to peer at the wounded Reaver. She¡¯s looking back at me now. Eyes wide with horror and fear and anger. A low growl misted with heavy pain drips from her mouth and soul.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits, I can¡¯t look weak. Even now. Especially now! Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t let her think she can¡­


    I twist and push myself to stand, glare back. ¡°Want another bite?¡± I hiss with a smile that still drips with her blood. She flinches back as her old tendril curls around me in a defensive motion, flexes little teeth in and out.


    A beat, then another, and she¡¯s gone between one blink and the next. I glance about, using my Amwella sight to make sure she¡¯s not just slipped into a corner.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± I hiss after I¡¯m sure she¡¯s truly gone, slumping back against the crate behind me. My Amwella wriggles and melts and continues to merge this new thing into itself. Sort of stitching and reweaving to secure the new¡­


    New¡­ tendril? Limb? Um¡­ I glare down at the thing as it wriggles and twists about. I can direct and control it, but¡­ doing so makes my head hurt and my tummy roil a bit as a sudden weird awareness of muscles that aren''t muscles seep into my mind. It also seems to have its own odd type of¡­


    I don¡¯t know, it''s a version of my Amwella senses. Just¡­ like¡­ if I was blind and beneath the water. More based on pressure and movement.


    But even more unnerving is when I pull back my thoughts, it keeps moving about! The tendril doesn¡¯t slurp into my Amwella like I¡¯d seen Twital do, and honestly¡­ I¡¯m okay with that. But¡­ When I stop controlling it directly it winds and weaves about my soul and body. Can even reach out about five or¡­ yeah that¡¯s like eight feet of reach when it thins itself out and stretches. All the while those not very little teeth and talons that coat it slip in and out of its skin in rippling anticipation of¡­ something. More violence? More feeding?


    I take a deep breath. Work to calm my heart and mind. ¡°It¡¯s Fine. It¡¯s fine. It¡¯s fine.¡± I hum, ¡°Fine fine fine fine. This. Is. Fine! I am safe now.¡±


    The words help make the dream match them, and soon I am nearly barreled over by a wave of exhaustion. I¡­ my head and back begin to throb. Twital slammed me into the wall a bunch, and my impact with the crate wasn¡¯t soft. I worry about twisting too much as I hobble from the little room.


    I think of Thendra''s commands. Some of her earliest words. How¡­ How she¡¯d rather me speak out regardless of a command than to sing without her permission. And I wonder if that applies to now? If I returned to her chambers will she be angry? Hurt me or send me away to fend for myself¡­


    I shake my head. Better to¡­ to ask. I don''t even need to enter to get permission to sing!


    But as I hobble along, weird new limb swirling and twisting all about in an odd dance of¡­ something, a fear rolls through me. What will she think of this? A new little tooth is one thing, but¡­ an entire tendril? One of the biggest I¡¯ve seen? And¡­ honestly, longer than any of her¡¯s!!!


    My back and head throb again, so I continue. Eventually finding myself standing outside Thendra¡¯s chambers. It¡¯s dark, and I can see the mound of her beneath the quilts from here. Deep jade tendrils weave and flit about like some kind of deep sea plant moving to calm waters.


    I hesitate, What if she hates this?


    I look down at the ugly thing as it seems to¡­ to curl in on itself. Seems to quiver and writhe in¡­ huh. Worry? It¡¯s a part of me and the fear bleeds into it like a twitch. The tendril isn¡¯t like¡­ another person inside my soul. Isn¡¯t conscious and screaming at me to keep it safe. No. It''s¡­ like¡­ an extension. Still weaving and connecting itself to my Amwella.


    Deep breath.


    ¡°Thendra.¡± I whisper.


    No movement.


    Another deep breath.


    ¡°Thendra!¡± I project a little louder.


    A pause, then she shifts, makes a slightly annoyed growling noise. Nothing I haven''t heard before.


    ¡°May I sing?¡±


    Another shift. ¡°In the morning, Little Fae.¡± She murmurs.


    I huff. Annoyed as my head and back continue to hurt. New tendril curls and writhes in patterns that mimic my mood.


    ¡°No. Thendra, Now.¡± I hiss, pain and weariness and annoyance at her casting me into this pain and mess bubbling up. ¡°Let me Sing.¡±


    I see her breath pause, Amwella jerks in sudden annoyance. A low rumbling growl begins to emit from her. But I stand my ground. Talons clawing into the archway¡¯s edge for support, both emotional and physical.


    ¡°It¡¯s either that or I¡­ I might try something stupid.¡± I add with much less of a hiss. More murmur of placation.


    She rises, but doesn¡¯t leave the bed as her eyes fall upon me. Only takes a few seconds to peer at my slightly hunched form. Then her Jade eyes glimmer, and¨C


    There is a long pause, and I can¡¯t help but look away under the weight of those eyes.


    ¡°Come.¡± She purrs.


    I flinch. Not¡­ not expecting her to¡­ but¡­ but what if she¡¯s going to tear it off!?!


    But I don¡¯t let my panic stop me from taking those first careful steps. Slowly slowly moving across the room to pause just at the foot of the bed. My new limb twitches and curls about in a weird mix of defensive and worried motions.


    ¡°What happened?¡± She purrs, not¡­ that angry. But¡­ wary and¡­ something else I can¡¯t recognise in the dark.


    ¡°You¡­ you said to bite back.¡± I whisper. ¡°You didn¡¯t say how hard.¡±


    She makes a contemplative noise almost¡­ almost a huff of laughter. Then she moves forward to hold out a single hand. An offer.


    I sigh in a bit of relief, take her huge hand, and let her help me crawl atop the bed. She doesn¡¯t release me though, just pulls and turns me to sit in her lap with my back to her. My Amwella sight makes me aware of how her own soul carefully curls forward and around me, a few of her own limbs twist and flit around my still cautious tendril.


    ¡°You¡­ grew this?¡± She eventually purrs, a hand moves to touch my hair and¨C


    ¡°No I¨C Ow!¡± I hiss, jerk away as her fingers touch still fresh bruises.


    There is a long pause, her fingers suddenly move carefully down my neck and back. Just¡­ only almost touching the sensitive spots.


    I mumble, ¡°May I sing, please?¡±


    She purrs thoughtfully, then commands. ¡°Tell me of your night, first.¡±


    I huff, annoyance bubbling up again as her fingers continue to move over my wounded back. ¡°Your Reaver, Twital. She¡­ Last night I broke a tooth from her soul after she¡­¡± I flinch, move past it. ¡°She¡­ Well when she came back I used it to slice her weird soul tendril off.¡±


    A long pause. ¡°How did you merge this Naranggas with your own Amwella?¡± a cold shudder runs through me as one of her tendrils just barely touches my own.


    Naranggas? Wh... What''s...? I... I just always saw them as wiggly soul tails...


    ¡°I don¡¯t know!¡± I twitch, the new limb wriggles in agitation. ¡°It¡­ I only realized it was attached after everything was over.¡±


    A long pause. Three of her limbs curl around mine. In worry and reflex the little teeth and sharp edges spring out graze over the skin of one of Thendra¡¯s three. I jerk as she purrs a warning.


    ¡°Sorry, I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m still trying to get used to it.¡± I wince, ¡°And¡­ and I¡¯m still in pain. Twital slammed me against the wall like¡­ four times. And that was before she threw me across the room.¡±


    Thendra just¡­ thrums in thought. Still poking and prodding at my new limb. My soul can¡¯t help but go wriggly and melty under the cold of her touch, working to avoid her. It takes me a few minutes to realize that she¡¯s remained quiet and is¡­ I¡¯m not sure. With my back to her I can¡¯t see her face to read her. But it seems like she¡¯s curious about¡­


    ¡°You¡¯re¡­ You¡¯re not going to¡­¡± I finally whisper. ¡°Please don¡¯t tear it off.¡±


    She thrums, and when I recognise the amusement in the sound I sag in relief.


    ¡°No, My Lyra.¡± She purrs. ¡°Now, sing what healing you need.¡±


    I pour myself into the harmony, end up curling around my new soulfire limb when the final notes drain from my lips and Thendra commands me to end the song. The euphoria that floods me from the lack of pain is already draining me, making me begin to droop and sag and consider the soft bed beneath me. Still warm from Thendra¡¯s body and¨C


    Thendra nudges me, ¡°Go.¡±


    I hiss at her. Sudden tired fury and anger and such pain that she¡¯s sending me away again. Her replying growl isn¡¯t¡­ well it¡¯s not kind, but it does hold some amusement.


    ¡°Find a place more comfortable than the floor, little Fae. Rest. None will bother you again this night.¡±

 Chapter 34: Ganzorig

    <u>Content Warnings</u>:


    Physical assault and dehumanizing of another (not Lyra). Dead bodies. Hallucinations.


    It wasn¡¯t until I woke up to purring rumbles that I realized that I hadn¡¯t seen Awnya in¡­ well this was the third day since she left me here? I think?


    Last night I just decided to walk down and collapse into one of the big fluffy chairs in the entry room. It was a small one, and in the corner so it didn¡¯t smell too badly of Reavers. But I was jolted to a sudden awareness as a couple of the flesh eaters moved through the room. I¡¯d slept on my side facing out, so the moment I opened my eyes I could watch them pause halfway to the food room. Watching me¡­ Considering if I am prey or¡­


    Even when I let my Amwella sight fade, I can still feel my new tendril flitting about. Like a new unseen limb it just wriggles and casts about in reflection to my mood. Right now it¡¯s¡­ well I guess the rippling of tooth and talon signal¡­ annoyance and¡­ and hopefully a warning.


    Twital isn¡¯t with these two, but I don¡¯t fight down the anger as I remember their feedings. How one seemed to aim for more¡­ gentle motions before carving her chunk off and leaving me bleeding and sobbing. The other was rough and almost¡­ well not angry but¡­ well she didn¡¯t care if I got hurt. Nails and teeth and bruises.


    As they stare at me, I glare back. Their eyes glimmer with hunger and Amwella sight, then go wide and can¡¯t help but track the obvious threat of my new¡­ well I guess it is more of a tail than a limb or tendril.


    I let out a soft hissing sound, a wordless warning to just¡­ go away.


    It takes them a few seconds, but as the echo of it fades they move. Gather food from the side room and leave me. Only once a few more minutes have passed since their exit do I feel safe enough to pass back into sleep.


    ¡°Little Fae.¡± A voice calls.


    I just hiss at this one, flit my tail about in annoyance and threat. Let me sleep.


    A sigh, a weird sound, then the space above my head pops and cracks so loudly I nearly fall off the couch. Hissing and spitting and new tail wreathed in sharp talons ready to¨C


    I bump into something, a weird thick rod of wood sticking out from¡­ An arrow. Thick as my arm. One of Bulderii¡¯s.


    Turning, I spot the Reaver approaching, bow being slung over one shoulder. She ignores my hiss and scrambling back. Simply pulls the arrow from the couch and peers down at me.


    ¡°Come.¡±


    I glare up at her. She never fed upon me, but I can¡¯t shake the images of her breaking my hand and shoving fingers down my throat when she decided I was trying to sing.


    She glares back, all hard authority and focus. Then, only a little slower than Thendra, she has an elbow against my neck and is pressing me down onto the couch. My tail jerks and whirls toward her soul, but something cold and hard swacks it aside before pinning it too.


    Before I can think, her lips are at my ear. ¡°When I tell you to do something. You move as if it is Thendra¡¯s voice.¡±


    A pause.


    Then, much much more quietly. ¡°I am not Twital. I do not seek to feed on you.¡±


    I take a deep breath as that fear bleeds away. Nod.


    She releases me with the same easy grace and speed, steps back. Quirks an eyebrow.


    I rub at my neck as I push off the couch, then follow her. Wordlessly she takes me up the stairs, down the hallways, past Thendra¡¯s empty chambers, to Voe¡¯s room. Before we even reach the room, I can¡¯t help but pause as I hear a horrid voice.


    ¡°Yes, yes¡­ Matron¡¯s crafted¨C¡± Voe hisses, ¡°I can stand on my own. Just¡­ give me a moment.¡±


    Deep breaths.


    Then I follow Bulderii into the room, and I find myself instinctively using my Amwella sight. The other four Reavers stand about, mostly just¡­ bored and waiting as Thendra looms over their captive. A few little sharp tendrils curl about. Even from Twital¡¯s core. It¡¯s small and pretty wretched, but growing. She spares me¡­ well it¡¯s a side-long look of something, fear or anger or¡­ a mix of them and other things. All eyes seem to glow with Amwella sight, save the watcher¡¯s.


    Voe¡¯s soul is still a mess of wounds, some newer than others, but it seems to be trying very hard to recover. Only one face eye is open along with a single eyestalk. The rest droop about her head as if dead as she steadies herself against the wall.


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    ¡°So, How may I serve?¡± She smirks at Thendra with so much pain and anger and many many other things I couldn¡¯t hope to absorb. Don¡¯t want to think about it. ¡°Hopefully not as another meal for this lot.¡±


    She coughs, spits bile.


    ¡°Information.¡± Thendra purrs gently. ¡°We begin our plundering of your old home, you will assist in this task.¡±


    Voe nods, like she was waiting for this exact conversation. ¡°Of course. I¡¯ll do better if you¡­¡±


    She¡¯s cut off as Thendra steps forward, takes her chin and forces Voe to meet her eyes. ¡°Red moonstone. Tell me what you are.¡±


    It¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s¡­ I stare at the scene. The gesture, the positions, the¡­ well it¡¯s just like when Thendra talks to me sometimes¡­


    Voe purses her lips. ¡°Whatever you need me to be, Thendra. The curse is¨C¡±


    Thendra cuts her off with a soft growl. ¡°You are not a mercenary. Not an ally, and certainly not one of the Reavers. So tell me, watcher, what are you. Right now.¡±


    Voe grinds her teeth. And¡­ and I see the cruelty pierce into her like a knife. Understanding that familiar cracking of something deep inside her as my curse begins to awaken and nibble at her to answer.


    ¡°Yours. Of course.¡±


    ¡°My¡­ what?¡± Thendra presses. Voice full of such a cold threat.


    ¡°You¡¯re¡­¡± Crack, snap, and a piece of Voe falls to shatter soundlessly at Thendra¡¯s feet. She tries to recover that piece of herself, begins to speak quickly and with a frantic tone as my Lament starts to bite. ¡°Thendra I can be more than that. You know what I can do. Know how much I¡­ I¡­ despite everything you¡¯ve done to my family. I still¨C¡±


    Thendra moves so gracefully the adjustment in positions seem instant. One second she is simply cradling the watcher¡¯s chin and waiting patiently, the next Voe is hanging a foot in the air. One of Thendra¡¯s hands holds her jaw and neck while the other grips the back of her head.


    Voe chokes, writhes as she weakly grasps at Thendra¡¯s wrists.


    ¡°Answer me Voe. Simply and honestly.¡± She growls, ¡°What are you now?¡±


    A hiss of pain, then Voe wheezes out. ¡°S¨C Slave.¡±


    Thendra drops her, content to let the watcher fall into a slump on the floor.


    As the room echoes with Voe¡¯s choking attempts to recover her breath¡­ I almost vomit. Remember my first days and weeks here. See a mirror of myself in this choking horrible monster at Thendra¡¯s feet. We¡¯re¡­ we¡¯re both¡­


    Thendra nods, voice takes on an aura of command. ¡°You will leave this room with myself and Bulderii, you will assist in mapping out the estate in my chambers with us.¡±


    Voe attempts to stand. Fails and stumbles back into the floor, and then she fights with everything in her soul to rise. Thendra does not move to help.


    Only as the room begins to clear does Voe notice me. One open eye meets my wide staring ones and she just¡­ glares. Such hatred and malice and promises within that I can¡¯t help but jerk back. Not¡­ not in fear. I know she can¡¯t hurt me now. Even without the Reavers, Thendra, and my curse, She is so weak and wounded that even my little Fae body could resist her.


    My finch is in guilt, shame, and horror.


    She¡¯s¡­ she¡¯s a monster, she probably did this and worse to others, but¡­ but¡­ As she passes me by and I can¡¯t help but shudder as I see the horrible curse I¡¯ve birthed into the world. My Beloved Sibling¡¯s words roll through my mind harder than any curses sting.


    Agony and despair will curse your songs.


    I look down to my blackened hands. Just¡­ stare down at the rot that gathers as all others leave. Tail flits and dips about in motions I can¡¯t even begin to understand or interpret.


    *        *        *


    *


    I can¡¯t help but vomit as the smell hits. Rot and decay and memories flood through me. Flashes of pain and death and the birthing of little writhing horrors that bite and crunch down on the dream. Screams amidst a song of spite and the melody of the end.


    Tendrils of rot weaving through me, dragging me down and down and down. Away from warmth and light and life and love and desire and¨C


    ¡°Sing what healing you need.¡± Thendra growls.


    A half-remembered whistling melody chokes its way through my lips, barely¡­ barely helps. But it does keep my mind afloat.


    We¡¯d all stood about as Voe drew out and explained all the little nooks and passages and possible magical traps in the Matron¡¯s estate. It was boring, and I would have slept if I¡¯d had a soft pillow or corner or a room empty of hungry Reavers. But¡­ no. Within a few hours Thendra was satisfied with the blueprints to do a cursory walk about the place to begin gathering her plunder.


    I¡¯m still on my knees, talons digging into the cold stone floor, now stained with my own bile.


    The Rorliras sings their own harmony to the horrid tune of this place of death. And I can¡¯t help but begin to shake and shudder as my song is buried beneath its resonating call.


    Just¡­ just as I seem to steady, Thendra commands an end to my remedy. I gag, but stifle it down to a choke.


    Thendra looms as we stand in the entrance to the chamber with the Rorliras with two Reavers at our rear. Voe, Bulderii, Twital and the one other Reaver have gone to begin recovering books and scrolls from the library. Voe had, and I¡¯m a little too annoyed and worried to ask why, been given a thin robe to wear. Not the¡­ the weird scant clothing I was always given.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡± I wheeze, trying to cover my face and mouth. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t think I can¡­¡±


    ¡°The Fae said this was her other task in Theradas.¡± Thendra purrs.


    I jerk at the mention of Awnya, glance up and stifle another heave as I flit on my Amwella sight to¡­ to look around. To make sure none of the bodies are¡­


    But she¡¯s not here. And the dark room ahead¡¯s only source of light now is the rift within the mouth of the unnatural shell. I fight to rise, take a deep breath.


    ¡°M¨C May I sing?¡± I whisper.


    ¡°For?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I want to call out to them. Just in case she¡¯s here. Let¡­ let them know we¡¯re friends and¡­¡±


    She nods and gives the command, and as we move forward I¡¯m carefully weaving a lilting call of friendship and welcome and pleading to answer washes through the room and winds into the twisting rift into the Rorliras.


    There is no reply but the cold death and decay that drenches this horrible room. But¡­ why? Thendra had her Reavers drag all the bodies out of here very soon after the fight? How is this room so filled with¡­


    Then I see her, and the rotting dream scar left deep within the corpse.


    The Matron¡¯s slumped form has not simply slurped into a mess of blood and ichor and decay. It¡­ it¡¯s solidified and¡­ and begun to become a host to a dozen or more little weird growths that stretch and wave about. Stalks tipped with little numbs that¡­


    Every part of me jerks to a halt, soulfire and physical. All sound seems to shrivel into itself, leaving only¡­ only a single little lilting tune. Then those horrid little eyestalks pop open, one after another. Little things growing from the Matron¡¯s rotting corpse. And they¡¯re all looking directly at me.


    My song shifts, and begins to whine of terror and fury and escape. I back away, begin to draw up my Amwella through pain and torment. Need to get away. A Reaver¡¯s riftwalking song dances at my fingertips, begins to¨C


    A hand is at the back of my head, fingers just this side of digging into flesh. ¡°Stop.¡±


    I jerk around to stare up at Thendra, lips clamp around my horror song on reflex. Her glare is careful, a warning.


    ¡°B¡­ But the¨C¡± I turn back, and before me is just a rotting corpse. No eyestalks, no horrid tune, just¡­ dead flesh. The room still stinks of its decay, but¡­ nothing else. I can¡¯t even see the dream scar weeping within.


    Wh¡­ Where did they go?


    Then the Rorliras is singing a reply to my greeting. A wonderful whistling tune of welcome and safety. A call to enter and meet with allies. It helps to dull and mask this room''s stench. I almost weep in relief at the Fae song before turning to Thendra to explain its meaning. She nods, and leads us past the mess to stand about fifteen feet back from its entrance.


    ¡°Sing for them to come to us.¡± Thendra purrs.


    I sigh and obey. I hate this room but¡­ the Rorliras tunnels are a horrid twisting nightmare that brings a sudden anxious twitching to my tail just hearing its unsettling tune. Much less entering it again.


    Then my song is over at Thendra¡¯s command, and only the echoes of it flit about.


    A few moments pass, then I see a glimmer of a song. Subtle hint of someone approaching beneath a hidden veil. I still¡­ I wonder how they do that? There are no shadows inside the Rorliras, nothing to draw up around their form to shield it. The tune is the same as mine, just¡­


    Then a Fae I do not recognize shudders into perspective. About my size, deep green hair filled with forest gunk and four twisting brown horns, strangely wrinkled features sitting between curiosity and annoyance. Outfit similar to Awnya¡¯s with thick muscled arms bare. Each covered with little hairy scales of maroon and charcoal. He also has a long beard that is currently twisted into a single complex braid that is so long that he¡¯s had to wrap the thing around his shoulders like a scarf.


    He looks between us. ¡°Who¡¯re you lot supposed to be?¡±

 Chapter 35: The Shaping of an End

    Content warning:


    Soul torture. Threats that are analogous to detransitioning.


    I¡­ just stand stiff in surprise and worry and such confusion.


    ¡°We seek another of your kind.¡± Thendra replies. ¡°Awnya of the Fae.¡±


    He quirks an eyebrow.


    ¡°O¨C Or Usete!¡± I stammer to add. Wince as I feel Thendra¡¯s annoyance at my speaking.


    ¡°They¡¯re busy.¡± He huffs, ¡°But I¡¯ll let ''em know you came by.¡±


    A beat. Nobody moves.


    ¡°Well¡­¡± He makes a shooing motion. ¡°Get going. This isn¡¯t a place for¨C¡±


    ¡°This manor holds well earned plunder that I¡¯ve come to claim.¡± Thendra purrs. ¡°By right of conquest and oaths broken.¡±


    ¡°Oh." The Fae glances past Thendra to the lump of Matron corpse, face a plan display of disgust. "That was your lot that did¡­ that, then.¡±


    ¡°It was, and I do not take kindly to pests nibbling at corpses I¡¯ve yet to loot.¡± She purrs with a low growl beneath.


    ¡°Heh. Take whatever you can stomach.¡± The Fae laughs humorously, then thumbs to the gateway behind himself. ¡°Just stay out of the Rorliras.¡±


    Another pause.


    ¡°That gateway¡­¡± Thendra cracks her neck, flexes her fingers. ¡°Belonged to the Matron, therefore it falls under my ownership now.¡±


    The Fae shrugs, either oblivious or uncaring to Thendra¡¯s unspoken threat. ¡°Just a warning, feel free to get lost in these Dreamer Cursed tunnels if you like. I don¡¯t have the time or patience to lead you out though.¡±


    Thendra smiles, purrs in approval.


    Then the Fae¡¯s eyes wander over to me. Initially there is a disgust within his eyes at my attire. But... then there is nothing but confusion.


    ¡°Can¡¯t help but wonder though¡­¡± He muses. Hand pats his beard. ¡°Who sang that Fae song earlier?¡±


    I look away as Thendra lays a possessive hand atop my head in answer. Usete and Awnya¡­ this Fae claims to know them. But¡­ they probably didn¡¯t tell him about me¡­ and¡­ and my current situation.


    ¡°Huh.¡± The Fae¡¯s Deep brown eyes glimmer and sparkle with the magic of one deciding to peer at Amwella.


    The room goes very still, even the Rorliras seems to quiet at the Fae¡¯s eyes lock onto my unseen tail. Then drift to my blackened hands.


    ¡°Forgive my... rudeness. I am Ganzorig.¡± He murmurs. ¡°I didn¡¯t get your names.¡±


    ¡°Thendra, Reaver of the Thirteen. Eyegorger.¡± She purrs, but offers no more.


    Ganzorig¡¯s eyes only flitted to her as she spoke, now they¡¯re back on me. Waiting¡­


    I glance up at Thendra. Without looking away from the Fae she nods.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± I murmur, glance down and away.


    A pause.


    ¡°Who¡¯s your parent, Lyra?¡± Ganzorig asks quietly, eyes still watching my tail as it weaves nervously about me.


    I don¡¯t look to Thendra this time. Cold begins to trickle down my spine as I shake my head. ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter.¡±


    ¡°It was you then¡­ You¡¯re the one Usete said I needed to unweave¡­ Bout... what? Twelve years back.¡± Ganzorig murmurs after another pause. ¡°What have you done to yourself?¡±


    What? I don¡¯t move, don¡¯t speak and cold ice rolls down my spine. This was¡­ This was who Usete went to¡­ the Fae elder who was going to take my songs and form!?!


    ¡°Rot and Ruin.¡± He spits. All fury and¡­ and with such venom. ¡°If I wasn¡¯t nose deep in another Dreamer Tit Fucked Nightmare right now I¡¯d¡­¡±


    The cold worry in me turns to a bubbling horrid thing as he lets the words trail off. Solidifies into anger. My tail¡¯s talons and teeth slip out as it curls and flits about.


    ¡°You¡¯d¡­" My eyes jerk up to glower at the Fae, tail snaps out to its full length in his direction without my command or intention, punctuates my words with a silent thunderous crack of soulflame. "What?¡±


    He flinches, takes a step back. Hand raised, not in placation, but preparation. Lips and tongue begin to¨C


    ¡°But it¡¯s as you said, Fae.¡± Thendra interrupts with an amused purr. ¡°You find yourself immersed in other problems. Just deliver our calling to Awnya, and we can part ways.¡±


    His eyes don¡¯t even glance her way. ¡°Starting to think this might be worth my time. Can smell the rot on her from here.¡±


    Talons clench so hard I feel blood pool between my fingers as I glare across the room at this Dreamer Blighted Fae. Tail twists and whirls about me in erratic patterns as my cold anger builds and builds and begins to crack something. Something deeper and more horrible than any anger I¡¯d felt before now.


    ¡°Look behind me, at the last creature who sought to take my Lyra from me.¡± Thendra laughs with a malice that resonates with my own rising fury. ¡°And consider¡­ She had a clutch of children to aid in her works.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t much think that matters.¡± Ganzorig murmurs. ¡°She¡¯s playing at dangerous songs. And this close to the Rorliras¡­¡±


    Her Reaver¡¯s begin to move, slink around and to the sides to surround and corner this Fae.


    Give the command.


    Let me sing!


    If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    I shudder in fury as horrid words bubble up and roil within my mind and soul. Fear and Pain and Spite and that ancient cry to let this Blighted Fae ROT AND DECAY AND¨C


    ¡°Dad?¡± Comes a call from the shell behind my target.


    I ignore it, let a songless hiss begin to rise and tear at the air as I wait for the curse to change from barring me from wailing terrible agony into the world to forcing me to. Then a shimmer wriggles behind the old Fae, and Awnya appears at his side. Eyes darting between our group.


    I sputter and stop as her shouted words crash down around me. Go from aching for such violence to a sudden dread of it.


    ¡°Awnya!?!¡± I choke out.


    ¡°Hey hey, Everyone cool down!¡± She calls out, sharp and hard. Fingers touch Ganzorig¡¯s in an attempt to lower them. ¡°Let¡¯s all just¡­ take a few breaths. Yeah?¡± She looks out to Thendra, eyes filled with annoyance as she pointedly ignores the two circling Reavers. ¡°Okay? Can we keep things peaceful?¡±


    Thendra goes from tense and ready for violence to relaxed amusement so fast I almost stumble. ¡°I was only gathering my plunder, Fae. He was the one who sought conflict.¡±


    The Reavers pause. Awnya looks down to her¡­ her¡­ Father!?! The one who Usete went to. The Fae elder who wanted to¡­ who still wants to take away my songs. Is¡­ is Awnya¡¯s¨C


    All our time together flashes through me. Her anger at Usete and the at time nameless Fae elders actions and intentions. Her support for my form and eagerness to help me. Our¡­ our soul melding and love making and¡­ and¡­ and¡­ Was any of it even real!?! Or¡­ was it just¡­ her trying to¡­


    But her soul sang that she did care for me. This¡­ this is just¨C


    She huffs, a cocky smile blossoming across her face when he doesn¡¯t lower his hand or stop glaring across the room at me. ¡°These are¡­ well this is the other project I¡¯m working on here in Theradas, dad. Can you please stop?¡±


    ¡°The lover you keep taking off to help?¡± His eyes dart to her, surprise boiling into his anger. ¡°Awnya, she¡¯s¡­ Her Amwella is too far gone! She needs to be¨C¡±


    I bristle at that, and my tail snaps around in his direction again. He flinches back. Awnya jerks, looks in our direction in confusion at her¡­ at Ganzorig¡¯s reaction. But her eyes weren''t alight with Amwella sight, so she didn¡¯t see it.


    ¡°And that¡¯s why I need you to untangle your beard and calm down!¡± She turns back to him. ¡°She¡¯s my responsibility. I¡¯m handling this. Will handle it better once this Dreamer Blighted thing is set and closed again.¡±


    He relaxes a little, lets his entire face turn to Awnya. ¡°What other elders have you called on? Why is she here with this¡­ person?¡±


    Thendra purrs a low warning growl, but otherwise does not intrude on their conversation.


    Awnya shifts, smirks down at him with just a hint of¡­ embarrassment? ¡°That¡¯s none of your business.¡±


    Ganzorig¡¯s voice goes quiet, suddenly filled with the rumbling of worry and rage only a loving father can have. ¡°No one? Really? Dreamer¡¯s Tits girl, look at her!!!¡± He holds out a hand toward me in anger. ¡°She¡¯s a bigger threat than the past two Rorliras we¡¯ve closed!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not her fault.¡± Awnya goes stiff, glares down at him while still somehow keeping that smile firm. ¡°She¡¯s mine. Stay out of this.¡±


    The word cuts through me. H¨C Her¡¯s? But¡­ just like a project though. She¡­ she still can''t¡­ Not after I showed her that I¡¯m Thendra¡¯s. I can¡¯t let her think I¡¯m more than just a messed up Fae she needs to¡­ to¡­


    He growls, ¡°I was tasked with her first. I should finish what I¨C.¡±


    My hiss cuts through the room like cold lightning, tail soundlessly thrums with fury. Horrid words and curses begin to gather at the blighted talon. Ready to¨C


    Everyone takes a step back, save Thendra who purrs with violent agreement, and Awnya. Who¡¯s¡­


    ¡°Lyra!¡± She shouts, smile gone, with a glare that withers a good chunk of my rage. ¡°Stop.¡±


    Then her eyes flit down. See¡­ Something black and horrible oozing to drip onto the floor like blood.


    I blink, confused and¡­ and it¡¯s gone. But¡­ the rot has advanced, just a little.


    When I look back up Ganzorig¡¯s eyes have gotten wider. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ Awnya you can¡¯t go near that. I need to¨C¡±


    Awnya is already turning and beginning to stride across the floor to me. Her father¡¯s eyes look like they''re going to bulge from his sockets as she stops in front of me and reaches out to touch my shoulder. I¡­ I almost jerk back. Tight with fear and confusion and pain and barely controlled worse things.


    ¡°Hey. Ignore him. He¡¯s just an old fart dealing with more stress than he¡¯s used to.¡± She whispers. ¡°I¡¯m not going to let anyone change you back.¡±


    I can¡¯t meet her eyes as my heart jolts in such¡­ such sudden warmth! A balm to my writhing soul.


    ¡°You¡¯re¡­ concerned. That this situation is out of control?¡± Thendra muses thoughtfully, but not to us.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Blighted Tits! Is that an understatement!!!¡± Ganzorig growls. ¡°You¡¯ve allied yourself with a bleeding wound that will infect everything around it!¡±


    I flinch, Awnya sighs and rolls her eyes. But¡­ her eyes show worry at the words.


    Thendra barks a laugh. ¡°She¡¯s not my ally, old Fae. She¡¯s my slave.¡±


    I flinch, Awnya turns a very slow glare up to Thendra, and I don¡¯t have the capacity to even look past to see Ganzorig¡¯s reaction.


    A long pause.


    ¡°I found her in your cursed woods, where a bargain was struck between us.¡± Thendra purrs. ¡°From it I was given her everything. Body, soul, and songs laid at my feet. All are bound to me.¡±


    Ganzorig makes a noise of annoyance and disbelief. ¡°None of that will matter when her rotten tunes are peeling you like an overripe fruit.¡±


    Thendra only smiles, ¡°That¡¯s why I had her lay a Dreamer¡¯s Lamentation upon her own soul. To sing without my command bites deep and shreds her Amwella.¡±


    I¡¯m okay with all that. I shake horribly, squeeze my eyes shut as Awnya¡¯s hand tightens on my shoulder.


    Better a slave than alone.


    Ganzorig snorts. ¡°Like I believe that. No curse could stop this.¡±


    See? Thendra¡¯s always right. This old Fae would only¡­ only seek to¡­ to take everything from me. Just like the humans and all the other Fae. Maybe¡­ maybe even Awnya given enough time and¨C


    ¡°Then how about a demonstration?¡± Thendra purrs. ¡°I trust you can watch her soul for this?¡±


    My eyes pop open, and as I jerk up to stare up at her.


    ¡°Lyra, sing a curse like the Matron¡¯s and place it upon Awnya.¡±


    Mouth open, my talon even half twitches up toward Awnya''s arm. She doesn¡¯t even jerk back. But I resist, and so my world becomes nothing but all consuming pain.


    I scream and wail and collapse to the floor. How¡­ How could she demand that of me!?! She promised! Said she¡¯d not hurt her!!! I feel my Amwella begin to bubble and form the curse, watch in horror as unborn maggots writhe and snap and cry out for soulfire to consume, screams will become the passage for them to leave me if I don''t¨C


    I clamp my mouth shut, stopping my wailing from becoming the rotten melody that will birth those wretched things into the world. Into Awnya. Squeeze eyes closed and press Talons into my chest, drawing my Naranggas as close as It can too.


    I¡¯m slowly drowning beneath the same curse that drove me to reject death in this same place. But¡­ but there is no death now. Only torment.


    Horrid pain it¡¯s becoming so much harder to resist. Thoughts begin to¡­ to melt. Why¡­ Why am I even fighting this? Why not just¨C


    ¡°Stop!¡±


    No. You''re not the right voice.


    ¡°TELL HER TO STOP!!!¡±


    Still not the right voice.


    ¡°Is this enough?¡± Comes the voice of my dark goddess. ¡°Do you see how completely she is bound to me? The only thing she¡¯ll resist me in, is this.¡±


    ¡°Thendra you Dreamer Blighted Cunt!¡± Comes a beautiful voice twisted in rage. ¡°Tell her to stop or I¡¯ll¨C¡±


    ¡°Only when your elder commands it.¡± She purrs.


    Neeeeeed¡­ to sing. Will stop the pain. Why¡­ why not just¡­ turn this pain into such wonderful melodies of¡­ what did the old Fae call it?


    Rot and Ruin? Thaaaaaaaaaat sounds so nice and¨C


    ¡°What!?!¡±


    ¡°He must be satisfied. I¡¯ll not risk the Fae wroth you promised a few nights ago.¡±


    Little rot maggots are sooo hungry. Should just¡­ release them. Help them find someone to eat.


    ¡°Tell her to end it. Tell her you see¨C¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°FATHER!¡±


    ¡°End her suffering.¡± An older voice murmurs after a deep sigh.


    Still not¨C


    ¡°Stop.¡±


    And the pain and madness seems to bleed from me like blood from an open wound. I wheeze and gasp, feel my Naranggas curl and wrap around my sore and wounded core. Watch in¡­ watch in agony as the little maggots fall back into formless slumber still clutched within my soul.


    ¡°Lyra, Lyra! You¡¯re okay.¡± Hands trace over my shoulders, touch my hair and face. ¡°C¡¯mon. Just breathe. That¡¯s it, deep breaths. You¡¯re okay!¡±


    I obey, shudder in painless euphoria as air returns to my lungs. Glance up through bloody and gummy eyes to see Awnya kneeling at my side. Thoughts and memories begin to return.


    The Fae elder sighs. ¡°This¡­¡±


    I¡­ I almost did it. I¡­ I was so close to following her command. Almost¡­


    ¡°And she only resists me in this.¡± My dark wretched Goddess purrs to someone across the room. ¡°She bears great affection for your offspring. Won¡¯t even submit to that pain if it means hurting her. But in all other things¡­ She is a tool in my hand. And I have no cause to reave this dream. I live in it.¡±


    She¡¯s wrong. Just¡­ just a few more seconds and I would have¡­


    A beat, the only sounds seem to be my choking wheezing gasps that mingle with sudden sobs.


    ¡°Thendra,¡± Awnya hisses, ¡°This is exactly the kind of thing you said you¡¯d avoid pushing her toward!¡±


    I twist to stare up at Thendra through bloody tears. Jade eyes flicker down to me. Cold, and¡­ and¡­


    ¡°And there is another part to our bargain.¡± Thendra purrs, ignoring the younger Fae. ¡°Her death. It¡¯s mine to deliver.¡±


    I shudder. Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t help but¡­ but¡­ almost wish for it right now. If only to keep Awnya safe.


    ¡°I¡­ see.¡± A sigh from across the room. ¡°This is¡­ She chose this? Laid the curse herself?¡±


    ¡°Only because the Fae drove her to those woods!¡± Awnya shouts, hands still trying to¡­ to comfort me. ¡°She wouldn¡¯t be here if Usete and you just¨C¡±


    ¡°Does it matter?¡± Ganzorig whispers.


    Awnya hisses, jerking back to glare at her father. ¡°Of course it does! It¡¯s like you always taught us! The ends don¡¯t justify the means. The means shape the ends. What do you think I¡¯m trying to do for her?¡±


    ¡°Kid¡­¡± He shakes his head, eyes go sad and angry and¡­ ¡°It¡¯s too late for her.¡±


    ¡°Either way, Fae.¡± Thendra laughs. ¡°You¡¯ve seen the care I¡¯ve laid into containing her¡­ what is it called? Her Dream Stirring? Awnya can attest to my ability to end Lyra should she try and seek to reclaim her songs or spread this¡­ rot.¡±


    There is a long pause as I struggle to push myself on my elbows and fight to stand. Spit blood and a bit of bile. Awnya helps, but at some point turns to look back at her father with such horror on her face. ¡°You can¡¯t be thinking this is okay.¡±


    ¡°No. It¡¯s¡­ This is not ideal.¡± Ganzorig sighs, ¡°But¡­ it¡¯s the best we have. At least until we can consider unraveling¨C¡±


    I hiss, a broken and pathetic thing. Would always take death over that. Will fight and tear you Dreamer Blighted Cunts from the dream if you try to¨C


    ¡°No.¡± Awnya seems to hold me closer, glowers at her father. ¡°I will fight with everything I am to stop that.¡±


    My heart twists in horror and rage at his suggestion, but¡­ also in warmth at Awnya¡¯s touch and support and¡­ and then a guilt settles in. I glance over to stop the Matron¡¯s rotting corpse. I came so close to doing that to her.


    ¡°Rot and Ruin, do you think I enjoy seeing one of our kind like this?¡± Ganzorig growls. ¡°Twisted and infected?¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter what you think now.¡± Awnya¡¯s finished helping me stand now, turns to glare at her father. ¡°The responsibility here is mine.¡±


    ¡°Kid¡­ don¡¯t¨C¡±


    ¡°I am free to walk and sing where I will.¡± She cuts him off. ¡°And my elder has laid clear to me where that should be. Tell Usete and Netta I apologize for leaving them to clean up that mess without me.¡±


    What? No, Awnya¡­ you¡­ you can¡¯t¨C


    Ganzorig glares, eyes flit between myself and Awnya.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be fine. Just¡­ You don¡¯t need to¨C¡± I whisper, but she shushes me and takes one of my arms in hers.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get you out of here. Okay?¡± She murmurs through a grin.


    Thendra purrs a laugh. ¡°You are welcome to stay in my home and assist my Lyra for as long as you desire, Fae.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. That can work.¡± Awnya sighs, rolls her eyes. ¡°For now.¡±

 Chapter 36: Ambush

    ¡°Didn¡¯t get the chance to say it before buuut¡­¡± Awnya murmurs as we walk down the streets of Theradas.


    The other Reaver¡¯s and Voe met us back at the entrance to the estate. Backpacks and a few arms filled with all manner of books and scrolls. Voe looked between us with a weird mix of disdain and curiosity. But remained quiet otherwise.


    I¡¯m able to walk mostly on my own now, but¡­ Awnya hasn¡¯t released my arm. To anyone else I hope it just seems¡­ I dunno. Like she¡¯s trying to keep me steady. But¡­ I know this touch. Can nearly feel the anxiety beneath her easy smile and golden eyes.


    ¡°...Love the soul tail thing. It suits you.¡±


    I flinch. Memories of¡­ of Twital¡­ of those two nights¡­ The Reaver in question gives her and me a sidelong look, one of hatred and such¡­ huh.


    Still afraid. Good. That helps me relax just a little.


    Awnya notices that, eyes me with more worry as she glances between the Reaver and myself. That sparks my worry, makes me try to send her away again.


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t¡­¡± I try to murmur for the third time since her father stormed back in the Rorliras, growling and filled with hatred. ¡°You should go back. I¡¯ll be fine.¡±


    She huffs and pulls me closer, fingers entwined with my own rotten ones. ¡°Heh, nope! That¡¯s just not true. Not one bit.¡±


    After we move through a few more side streets and circle back to a main road the silence is broken again.


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ sorry?¡± Voe walks a bit taller than before, and tries to stay close to Thendra as we move. Single open face eye glances back to glower at Awnya and me. ¡°I missed the reason for the sudden presence of another Fae. Who is this little doe?¡±


    Thendra turns a slow look to her, Jade eyes very clear. You do not speak.


    Voe flinches, raises hands in surrender. Goes quiet. And for the rest of the walk, no one speaks. When we reach the manor and are safely inside, Thendra instructs the Reavers and Voe to take the books into her chambers. Then for Voe to return to the room she¡¯d been left in.


    ¡°Sleep if you want. Do not leave. My old instructions on your sight and Amwella remain unchanged.¡± Thendra purrs.


    Voe nods stiffly, then departs. Once it''s just Thendra, Awnya, and myself my dark goddess turns to regard us. ¡°Lyra, gather us three a meal. Then come to my chambers.¡±


    I want to object, but¡­


    ¡°I¡¯ll help.¡± Awnya offers with a smile, pats my arm. ¡°You have all those books to sort through and we can¨C¡±


    Thendra interrupts her with a smirk. ¡°You insult me, Fae.¡±


    Awnya jerks to a halt. ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll not have a guest perform such a task.¡±


    I flinch, and Awnya pulls me just a bit closer as her smile goes brittle. I don¡¯t want her to be alone with Thendra. But¡­


    I untangle my arm from her¡¯s, ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll be up in a minute.¡±


    I make sure to carefully keep my eyes from hers as I head into the food room. It¡¯s a little bit tricky to carry it all, but¡­ in the end I decided that I¡¯d rather just wash the taste of bile away with warm cider and only carry two trays. When I arrive Awnya is sitting at the table, while Thendra leans against the desk. An icy silence stretches between them. I slide the tray of fruit and two cider mugs on the table, and am setting the one with more meat on the desk.


    I pause, wondering¡­ where should I¡­


    Then Thendra¡¯s arms are around me. Pressing my back into her as one hand settles across my chest while the other tangles in my hair. Her huge arm begins to thrum with such warmth¡­ Heat I haven''t felt in¡­ in days! I realize as I can¡¯t help but tremble. She hasn¡¯t held me like this since¡­ since that first night I came back. Either abandoning me to sleep or casting me out into the halls to¡­


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    ¡°Will your elder be a problem?¡± Thendra murmurs, a soft steadiness to her words as her hand begins to caress and move through my hair.


    The only part of her that doesn¡¯t envelop me is her Amwella. Her huge soul remains back and just¡­ looms over me. Even as my tail flitters back curiously toward her, a bigger tendril will just flick it away or push it back.


    I cast my eyes down in guilt and shame... Worried Awnya will¡­ will this hurt her? Will she¡­


    Awnya sighs, and I can¡¯t help but peek up to see her cocky grin as she picks at the fruit on her tray. ¡°He¡¯s a stubborn old goat, but¡­ I don¡¯t think he¡¯ll¡­ eh¡­ interfere.¡±


    ¡°He was the first Fae elder to try and take my songs.¡± I murmur. ¡°The¡­ the one Usete went to all those years ago?¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡­ I¡¯m sorry, Lyra.¡± She glances over to give me an apologetic smile. ¡°I didn¡¯t know. Usete was¡­ well they¡¯ve always looked up to my dad. And I was still a bit fresh from my change then, so when they asked him I was off making trouble elsewhere. And they didn¡¯t mention my dad¡¯s past with this until like¡­ a few days ago.¡±


    I believe her, and¡­ and can¡¯t help but look away as my previous doubts sting my conscience.


    Thendra rumbles, considering¡­ and not satisfied with her words. ¡°Could he claim this as his responsibility?¡±


    ¡°Fae don¡¯t work like that. Elder is a loose term that just means an older Fae with more experience than most.¡± Awnya shifts. ¡°We¡­ This is messy. Not sure it¡¯s ever happened. Most Fae are happy to work together to solve a problem. Or quick to move on if they aren''t wanted. But this¡­¡± She trails off.


    ¡°You''re his daughter.¡± I whisper. ¡°I¡­ I mean he¡¯s right to worry about you being here with me. I¡¯m¡­ I really am such a mess.¡±


    Awnya waves my words off. ¡°Please, Lyra, you''re just¡­¡± But she lets that trail off, turns a glare to Thendra. ¡°Speaking of which. What were you thinking, demanding she sing a curse you knew she would fight? Do you just¡­ like¡­ get off on seeing her in agony?¡±


    I brace for a growl, a snarl of possessive rage. But¡­ instead Thendra just¡­ laughs. ¡°If you hadn''t arrived, the curse would have been the only thing to save your elder from her.¡±


    Awnya winces, eyes finally touch mine. Smile fades a bit as she realizes the truth of Thendra¡¯s words, a mix of confusion and¡­ a real worry. ¡°Oh¡­Is¡­ Lyra, is that true?¡±


    I look away. Remember¡­ remember his words. Then the anger and rotten songs I was gathering. ¡°If he had tried to take my songs¡­ Yes, Awnya. I would have fought with everything I am. I was ready to pour myself into a curse even.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ I hate that it almost came to that.¡± She huffs, and I peer up to see her smile turned a bit annoyed. ¡°But¡­ It didn¡¯t. And I promised him the same thing if he tries something stupid. So¡­¡±


    Thendra presses, ¡°Will he come tonight? Try stealth and treachery to see you safe and Lyra subdued?¡±


    ¡°Doubt it.¡± Awnya snorts, ¡°The old goat only uses our song of stealth because I make him. If he decided to act, it would start loud and at your front door.¡±


    That seems to relax Thendra. ¡°Good.¡±


    ¡°And he knows I¡¯m not some freshly changed Fae.¡± She pops a fruit in her mouth, ¡°I¡¯ve saved his hairy butt from worse. He¡¯ll want¡­ well to see me once in a while. Might send Usete or another Fae to make sure I¡¯m not dead or blighted.¡±


    I won¡¯t let that happen. The thought makes me flinch at the¡­ the images and afterthoughts of what such a promise could mean¡­ how¡­ how I would truly lose everything If I¡­


    ¡°So!¡± Awnya suddenly pops up, taps at her tray. ¡°You got extra rooms and beds in here, right? Best thing for her, and honestly all for us, is rest and calming our tits.¡±


    ¡°I agree.¡± Thendra purrs, ¡°Take whatever room you like, so long as it doesn¡¯t seem occupied by myself, one of my Reavers, or the Watcher.¡±


    What if Thendra tries to hurt her?


    ¡°This place is warded against riftwalking right?¡± Awnya asks. ¡°If so I¡¯ll probably use that stairwell window to pop in and out. Might need to go back to the Fae-Wood to grab a few things over the next few days.¡±


    How would I stop that? How could I even hope to!?!


    Thendra¡¯s reply is just a low rumble. Acknowledgement and¡­ warning.


    Awnya picks up the tray with the fruit and two cider mugs, raises an eyebrow in our direction. Wordless questions as her eyes settle on mine.


    ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ um¡­ come find you later.¡± I whisper. Not sure If I would leave Thendra¡¯s arms even if she was letting me go right now. Awnya nods while keeping her wonderful smile, even if it doesn¡¯t quite touch her eyes. Then she¡¯s gone to explore the manor and find a room.


    ¡°Why?¡± I whisper to the eternity of thoughts and worries and agonies.


    A long silence passes as Thendra¡¯s fingers weave through my hair, another hand begins to wander down. Just¡­ seems to move over the hips and belly. But never anything more. She purrs in curiosity. So¡­ I ask the easier question.


    ¡°Why¡­ Why touch me now¡­ after so many days of¡­¡± I turn my head, both in annoyance and¡­ an offer. I know she likes that spot. But¡­ she doesn¡¯t do anything other than caress and hold. Even keeps pushing my tail away if it tries to reach back and tangle itself¨C


    ¡°You soulfire needed to be fresh.¡± She murmurs. ¡°Undamaged.¡±


    ¡°For?¡±


    ¡°The night.¡±


    That cracks something deep inside me. I¡¯d¡­ I¡¯d hoped maybe¡­ maybe she didn¡¯t know. And that¡­ that maybe she only needed space and that Twital just overstepped. In a fury I begin to tear her arms off me. Try to twist away. She lets me.


    ¡°You knew!?!¡± I hiss, whirling around to face her.


    Jade eyes peer down at me with a cold regard.


    ¡°Why!?!¡± I shake with anger. ¡°B¨C before¡­ I understood. I hated it. But I did as you asked because I trust you. Because I knew it could help your Reavers survive whatever it was the Matron had you doing.¡±


    She doesn¡¯t answer. Eyes just¡­ feels like she¡¯s saying¡­ I don¡¯t need to explain myself to a slave.


    I growl, and can feel the tears bubbling as the truth of it all crashes down. ¡°You knew what she would do to me.¡±


    Her eyes drift to my tail, writhing and twisting in preparation for¡­ for something¡­


    I shake my head. ¡°You¡­ you couldn¡¯t have known¡­¡±


    Thendra nods toward the door. ¡°Go. Don¡¯t come back until morning.¡±


    I flinch back as if she¡¯d struck me. Her eyes narrow as I refuse to move. And I almost¡­ almost hold her gaze. But then I look away, turn and¡­


    I pause at the doorway. ¡°Anywhere in the manor. Right?¡±


    She nods.


    I grind my teeth. ¡°Then¡­ you know where I¡¯m going to sleep? Know who I¡¯m going to sleep with?¡±


    A small, almost cruel, quirk threatens at the edge of her lips.


    That makes me pause, I¡­ I expected anger or for her to¡­ to torture me by trying to keep us apart or from¡­ well especially after how she tore my soul apart after finding out we¡¯d been fucking.


    But that look¡­


    I want to demand more as fear of more punishment or¡­ or¡­ something washes through me. But her jade eyes are boring into me now. A very loud command. Go.


    So I jerk away and begin to look for Awnya.


    Smell and echoing songs lead my way while thoughts of¡­ of why. Why would Thendra do this? Any of this? The curse, the nights alone, the¡­ attacks and¡­


    That¡¯s why I don¡¯t see her until I was halfway down a thin side hallway.


    ¡°Little Fae.¡± I jerk up to see Twital blocking my path.

 Chapter 37: Crack Whip-Snap

    <u>Content warning/Spoiler:</u>


    Assault. Violence. Death. Mental trauma and emotional breaks.


    Amwella sight whirls into perspective while my tail flits and snaps toward her, every claw and tooth rippling out. She¡¯s still about fifteen feet away, so it can¡¯t reach, but to anyone who is watching for souls it makes a pretty terrifying warning.


    ¡°Go away.¡± Is all I can hiss as horrible memories send cold ice down my spine, make my legs shake and talons tremble.


    Crack Whip-Snap go my Naranggas.


    She flinches, an angry smile on her lips. ¡°Will you submit tonight?¡±


    I know if she were to try again I would tear her soul to pieces. Know that I am so so much stronger than her now. While she may be seven feet of muscle and predator, I have eight feet of soul rending ugly tendril. And judging by the sorry state her Amwella is still in, I could tear her apart before she got to me.


    ¡­I hope.


    But still¡­ I take a wary step back. She should know all of that. So why come after me again¨C


    Then I hear a low growl from behind me, jerk my head around to see two others blocking the other way out. I¡¯m about to just turn and barrel at Twital, cut through the weakest predator to escape, but when I turn back the fourth and final Reaver besides Thendra and Bulderii themselves stands beside her. All nasty and hungry grins.


    My tail does a whip-crack snap in both directions, a warning. Whoever comes at me first gets stung. But¡­ It''s all fear and horror now.


    I¡­ I can¡¯t hope to fight off all of them!


    ¡°Wh¨C What do you want?¡± I stammer. Can¡¯t keep my fear from tainting my voice.


    ¡°Same thing as before.¡± Twital purrs as her and the other along that side flex claws and crack their necks in anticipation.


    I glance back to make sure the other two haven''t moved. They haven''t, but¡­ the Reavers are so fast. I¡¯ll be lucky to flinch before they reach me.


    Snap-crack goes my tail again.


    ¡°Why!?!¡± I try to hiss and growl, but it comes out as a small and pleading thing. ¡°Why did¡­ Why is she letting you do this!?!¡±


    There is a pause, a thrum of anticipation.


    ¡°Last chance, Little Fae.¡± A Reaver murmurs from behind me.


    ¡°Dreamer Blighted Cunts!¡±


    They hit me from both sides just as the final word escapes through my lips. I do catch their movements, even manage to cut one of the Reavers as she comes at me from behind. But¡­ it''s not enough.


    They pin me to the wall. The one beside Twital effortlessly holds my left talon and leg, while another slams my head and right shoulder to the hard stone. The last takes my right leg while her own large, albeit shorter than my own, tendril wraps about and constricts my tail into a useless writhing mangling of soulfire. A dance of tooth and claw she doesn¡¯t seem to mind the pain of.


    Twital only moves in after It¡¯s clear the others have me. I kick and spit and snarl and hiss as she presses herself up against my chest. Her soul sprouting new little tendrils with sharp teeth and claws and¨C


    Melt melt melt! I wriggle and adjust my Amwella into the soft flexible state best at avoiding her.


    ¡°That is such a wonderful trick, little Fae.¡± She purrs as her tongue and teeth graze down my neck. Her own Amwella begins to come closer, spreads, ready to¨C


    I spring my solitary tooth forth, trying to catch and cut her. But¡­ she pulls her soul back easily, a laugh rolling down through her chest into my own.


    The Reaver beside her pulls back and slams my head harder into the wall. ¡°That¡¯s the tooth she used?¡±


    Twital sighs, annoyed. ¡°Yes, I was careless and let her wrap about my Naranggas. Speaking of which¡­¡± Her glowing gray eyes drift to my tail. Still pinned and held by another Reaver while the core of my souls wriggles about in melty evasions. ¡°You have something of mine.¡±


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    I¡¯m already overwhelmed with such fear and anger. But I can¡¯t help but feel my entire body redouble its panic and writhing at her words. ¡°P¨C Please! I¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t mean to¨C¡±


    But she¡¯s already moving, pressing and twisting her own soul up against the base of the tail. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, little slave, I¡¯ll make sure you feel some pleasure before I cut it away.¡± She purrs as fingers trace down my belly.


    While my core can go soft and melt and become a soft thing ready to shift itself around to avoid attack. My tail can¡¯t, it''s¡­ its¡­


    I jerk to a stop. But¡­ Why can¡¯t my new tail do the same?


    Deep breath. Focus all thoughts into the tail. Just¡­ ignore everything but that muscle.


    Tooth and claw graze along my soul as fingers begin to¨C


    Then my tail melts alongside my Amwella, separates into two, slips free, then pops back into a solid state of whirling soulfire.


    Whip-crack snap, and the one that¡¯s pinning my tail is reeling back. Slurp slurp slurp and a wave of feeding euphoria and¨C


    Focus or get eaten!!!


    Snap whip-crack, Three much thinner tendrils this time, two carve at the one at my head and leg while the last cuts the other.


    Sluuuuurp. The absorption is harder to ignore, but¡­ but I manage as I kick off the wall and ride Twital to the ground. Hissing and snarling and biting her big stupid face. All three tendrils are poised behind me now. A whirling mass of soul drinking death, Thin as a Talon but twice as sharp. Then they¡¯re all plunging down toward this Reaver¡¯s Amwella. Wrapping around and around and sinking tooth and claw deep into¨C


    A full reversal of momentum as big Reaver feet slam into my gut and chest, bones snap and crack as I bounce off the ceiling and tumble into a heap onto the floor. Warmth, wonderful euphoria and pleasure overwhelm the pain of broken bones and twisted muscles. I jerk, realize the mass of¡­ of¡­ something beneath me is¡­ is¡­ what is this?


    Why is it pulsing with fear and anger and emotions?


    I look up to see Twital trying to rise, such a¡­ a confused look on her face as one hand presses to her sternum. At the sudden cold that must wrap around her. Roots of rot and decay and such a horrible ending.


    I look down, and see the Reaver¡¯s soul held amidst my Naranggas as a jungle cat would clasp at a prize, And very much not in Twital¡¯s chest like it should be. And¡­ and I can feel her final terrible emotions as it melts into my own core.


    A thump, and when I look back up, Twital lies dead on the ground. The other Reavers are only just beginning to rise. Glimmering eyes wide and fixed on Twital¡¯s corpse as their own Amwella weep from the gaping wounds I¡¯ve left them.


    I¡­ I killed her. I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m eating her S¨C sO... ouL¨C


    I shudder as a wave of pleasure rocks through me. Feeding euphoria numbs panic and kills pain and fear. Tails and tendrils whirling, I fight to stand. Deep breath, and level a glare at the wounded Reavers. One by one, they look back at me, watching as the final dribbles of soulfire drool get slurped up and into my Amwella.


    I hiss.


    A couple blinks, and they¡¯ve slunk back and disappeared around the far corner. And I¡¯m left alone with the second person I¡¯ve ever killed.


    I don¡¯t¡­ don¡¯t remember moving to stand over the body. Only¡­ only now I am looking down into those wide lifeless eyes¡­


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits, I¡­  I should be horrified by this. Vomiting and screaming and¡­ and¡­


    But the only thing flowing through me right now is¡­ pleasure. Horrid, surging, and wonderful. If I move it might¡­ might go away. And¡­ and I don¡¯t want to feel what was there before. This feels niiiice. Right and warm and perfect¡­


    I don¡¯t know how long I stand over Twital¡¯s corpse. Shaking and shuddering in euphoria as my tails twist and wind about me, a better mirror to the chaos I should be falling into. But eventually¡­ a shuddering glimmering sound alerts me to another presence.


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Awnya whispers from behind me. Then there is an intake of breath. Not¡­ not a gasp. But It marks when she sees the corpse. Probably¡­ probably used her Amwella sight to tell that it¡¯s very dead.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits! Lyra, Are you¨C¡±


    Whip-crack snap.


    ¡°Woah! Okay okay.¡± She exclaims as my tails move to protect my back. I can feel her soul through them. A¡­ a pressure about ten feet away. Just out of reach.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, whatever happened. It¡¯s okay! Can you¡­ can you just calm your tails for me? Please?¡± She coos softly. ¡°Lyra? Can you hear me?¡±


    This goes on for a bit. I¡­ I can hear her but¡­. Don¡¯t move. Don¡¯t understand why I should. If I move, the pain WILL come back.


    ¡°Please girl, give me a sign here. Let me know that you''re okay.¡± Awnya pleads. ¡°Your soul looks whole and wonderful, no wounds. But¡­ I see bruises on your back and I¡¯m worried you''re going into shock.¡±


    I ate the monster that hurt me. And now her soul keeps me warm and safe and¡­ and¡­ PErFeEeeeeecT...


    But¡­ the warmth does begin to fade. And my shuddering gets worse and worse as the old horrid feelings begin to rise from the muck of my mind. The words of my Usete, the Beloved Sibling.


    Agony and despair will curse your songs.


    ¡°Lyra? Hey, can¡­ can I come over to¨C¡±


    Snap whip-crack. Is the only answer I can give as glossy dead eyes glare up at me. Hungry and accusing and almost feral as I feel the muck of emotions returning.


    ¡°Okay okay, no problem.¡± Awnya says with such¡­ confidence and kindness and¡­


    Twitch twitch, goes the talon attached to my right arm.


    ¡°I¡¯m right here!¡± Such warmth and¡­ and¡­ love and¡­ and she doesn¡¯t hate me? Why doesn¡¯t she hate like all the others!?!


    ¡°Whenever you need me. I¡¯m right here. I¡¯m not going to leave you!¡±


    The talon that isn''t my talon twitches again. It hates that. The glossy eyes and rotten talon¡­ only¡­ only my tails seems to calm at her words.


    But¡­ they know they can¡¯t let her near. Rot and ruin and much worse are beginning to stir.


    I don¡¯t know when the tears begin to fall, or when my legs start going a bit wibbly wobbly. But Awnya doesn¡¯t leave. No matter how much my tails flail and whirl and try and warn her off. To run away. To just¡­


    Just¡­


    Twitch twitch. Come closer. Begs that wretched talon.


    Snap whip-crack! My tails scream for her to run.


    Twitch twitch. Maggots need to eat too. Will you feed them? Warm souls always make the best homes for the little rotten¨C


    I growl, lift the thing to my mouth, and BITE THE TALON.


    Awnya yelps in surprise and horror. Then darts into motion. Tries to¡­ to get around my¨C


    Whip-crack Snap!!!


    She needs to let me finish. Need to get this thing off! Feeding euphoria fading, leaving only pain. But that¡¯s not the worst part of this. That would be the taste of the wretched thing. I gag and almost vomit at the taste of Blood and flesh and bone and rot.


    Spit, unhinge the jaw to make room. Keep biting. Teeth are sharp enough for this. TEAR IT OFF!


    Awnya¡¯s fast, and¡­ and is noticing my tails don¡¯t seem to hit her soul. Sees the false promises in their threats.


    She slams into my back, arms wrapping around my chest as another reaches up and around to pull my hand out of my mouth¨C


    Twital¡¯s hateful dead eyes are screaming now! Threatening to help the twitching talon that¡¯s not my talon if I don¡¯t let the rot maggots feed¡­


    We hit a wall, slide down it a bit as she wrestles with me. Shouts things I can¡¯t understand. I¡­ I think I fight her a bit, but she¡¯s actively pinning my arm up against her chest as she whistles and grunts healing songs to stop the spray and sputtering of blood from the missing fingers and gaping wounds.


    My tails whirl and curl around us, around her. Not to hurt. But to warn off the dead eyes and twitching talon bits I¡¯ve already torn off and spat away.


    ¡°Lyra, BE STILL!!¡± She hisses through the song.


    I obey, but my tails do not. They continue to move about. Waiting till the hallway is clear of the rot. Body pain begins to settle in then. Aching burning agony in my back and shoulders, screams of pain leaking from the talon paralyze me.


    I¡¯m just a shaking mess for a while, unable to do anything but try and pull the talon back. Awnya keeps it pinned under one arm after the worst of my bites are sealed, instead takes my head into her lap and just¡­ holds me as my thoughts melt.

 Chapter 38: Intoxicating Warmth

    Content Warning:


    Trauma, mention of past Sexual assaults. soul biting. accidental attack/biting/assault. desire to self-harm a limb causing dysphoria.


    I don¡¯t remember when she finally was able to move me. Just¡­ bits of soft encouragement and cooing warmth. And... and one flurry of panic and growling and whirling soul-tails as she tried to pull me toward what I think is the hallway with the manor''s stairwell window. Then... eventually I¡¯m in a small bed with her. Wrapped in musty quilts and her warmth as she tries to get me to drink some cold cider and nibble at some fruit.


    I don¡¯t do either. Can¡¯t...


    I¡¯m just¡­ sprawled between her legs with my face at the center of her chest while she leans against the backboard. Letting the intoxicating warmth of memories of the Amwella feeding numb everything into a dull haze. Eyes never close, just¡­ stay half-lidded and locked on nothing. Awnya¡¯s fingers carefully wander over my back and neck and cheek. She¡¯s not pinning the mauled talon anymore, just¡­ keeping it close. Still worried I might try and finish biting it off.


    The talon is missing both smaller fingers and big chunks of the skin on top of everything, Awnya stopped me before I could get far. Healed it as best she could. It''s¡­ It''s not twitching anymore, but¡­ I¡¯d still like to finish off the blighted thing. I just¡­ can¡¯t move right now. Her warmth and touch reminds me of the feast, and to move will invite pain and questions and¡­


    Worse things.


    Awnya takes a deep breath, then speaks quietly into the dim room she¡¯s settled us in. ¡°I know you''re there, and I need you to do something for me.¡±


    A long pause.


    Whip-crack Snap. My tails sense the danger, and the warning causes it to flinch back. A¡­ A burning core of Amwella in the doorway. Seems to¡­ to be holding something.


    Oh that¡¯s her bow.


    ¡°Tell Thendra I¡¯d like to speak with her.¡± Awnya whispers quietly to Bulderii.


    Then the danger leaves. My tails settle into slow waving motions again. But¡­ It¡¯s not long before my wretched dark goddess stands in the entryway. Just within reach of my Naranggas. Crack Whip-Snap. They meekly warn, but do not strike. Such little things can¡¯t hurt the roiling core of Amwella that spreads from her.


    A long pause, Awnya takes a steadying breath.


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t her fault.¡± Her voice is solid but¡­ almost quivers. Worry and fury and other things are warring within her. ¡°She¡­ Your Reaver, that is, attacked her.¡±


    Thendra leans against the archway. Considers us.


    Awnya presses. ¡°You can¡¯t blame her for defending herself.¡±


    ¡°My Lyra acted as I knew she would.¡± Thendra purrs calmly.


    ¡°You knew she¡­¡± Awnya tenses, confused, then almost shaking with rage. ¡°Wait! You¡­ you knew that would happen? And you didn¡¯t stop it?¡±


    Thendra does not reply, just watches us.


    ¡°Why?¡± Awnya hisses.


    A long pause.


    ¡°You couldn¡¯t have wanted another of your Reavers dead. That¡¯s¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits that¡¯s completely insane! Why waste a soul when you just lost so many fighting the Watcher family?¡±


    A purring rumble, then I can feel Thendra¡¯s jade eyes roll across my core and tails. Can¡¯t stop a shudder that passes through my everything, even my Amwella and its writhing limbs.


    ¡°Was it wasted?¡± She purrs.


    I can feel Awnya stiffen, eyes move down to me for the first time since my dark goddess arrived. ¡°This¡­ Thendra look at her! I don¡¯t know what would have happened if I wasn¡¯t there! She bit half her hand off before I could stop her! She needs real help. Fae help!¡±


    Snap-Crack. I tense up so hard at her words, feel the ugly talon begin to twitch. Awnya pauses in surprise at my sudden movement. Thendra just¡­ rumbles amusement.


    Awnya''s voice becomes soft and gentle. ¡°Lyra, I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m not talking about¡­ I mean healers! Fae like Equin and your mother! Kind and wonderful and¡­ and¡­¡±


    ¡°Would they look past all this?¡± Thendra murmurs, motions toward my tails and¡­ things.


    ¡°I¡­¡± Awnya sputters. ¡°Not at first, no. But if I just explained¨C¡±


    ¡°Like you did to your elder?¡± Thendra muses. ¡°I wonder, Fae, if your kind truly seek to help my Lyra, Why are they not here now? Offering aid unbound?¡±


    My Lyra¡­ The words still sooth my soul and send brumbles up my spine.


    Awnya grinds her teeth. ¡°You pushed her to this!¡±


    Thendra just purrs, amused and satisfied.


    ¡°I should just¡­ just take her. Get her out of here and away from you!¡±


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    I expect anger, brace for Thendra¡¯s fury and threats. But my dark goddess just laughs, and the rolling harmony of it is a cruel thing. ¡°Try then, convince her to step into your Fae woods again.¡±


    Awnya¡¯s hands are no longer comforting but¡­ protective. A pause passes before she¡¯s leaning down to try and make my eyes meet hers. I roll them down and away. ¡°Lyra¡­ please. Just¡­ would you trust me? Let me¨C¡±


    I¡­ I can¡¯t talk. Too afraid of the pain it could bring. Of the maggots and rot I might summon. So Instead I just let out a low growl. Hoping¡­ hoping she¡¯ll understand my fear and anger and¡­ and¡­


    Awnya¡¯s face turns sad and¡­ and a bit pale.


    Thendra laughs, ¡°Tell us true, Fae, if Lyra found herself in conflict with your kind, maybe even your own elder, who would you stand with?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not a fair question and you know it!¡± Awnya spits, turning back up to glare at Thendra.


    ¡°Mmmm¡­ where was that fairness when my Lyra was alone in your Cursed woods?¡±


    Crack Whip-Snap. I don¡¯t¡­ don¡¯t even mean to punctuate the claim, just¡­ my tails still writhe with all the emotions I cannot express or explain.


    ¡°You¡¯re¡­¡± Awnya stiffens, then sags. ¡°You have a point. You are a horrible manipulative cunt, but¡­¡±


    A long pause.


    Awnya whispers. ¡°You know I¡¯m going to fight to keep her safe. From them and you. Now more than ever!¡±


    Snap-Crack.


    ¡°Of course.¡± Thendra purrs, and then she leaves.


    And I let my thoughts drift into a place without pain or agony or despair... only the muddled peace of feeding...


    *              *              *


    Soon... that heat feels so close again. Near enough to taste almost... And so sooooo warm!


    So I pull it closer, drag teeth and good talon beneath cloth and along soft skin and¨C


    ¡°Hey, Lyra.¡± The warmth coos. ¡°Good to see you moving and¡­eh¡­ aware of things.¡±


    Almost¡­ almost want to¡­


    Crack Whip-Snap!


    ¡°Woah, hey. Watch the tails!¡± She laughs, but with a hint of worry. ¡°Let¡¯s eh¡­ slow down for a second, kay? I need to make sure you¡¯re¨C¡±


    Good talon digs into a hip, teeth rumble and bite into a collarbone through annoying cloth.


    The warmth goes still. Amwella flickers into view. Close. So close. Tails curl and reach out, wrap around and around and around and¨C


    ¡°Hey hey hey!¡± Comes a hiss from the warmth, hands press against my shoulders. ¡°Slow down, no biting. Okay?¡±


    I pause as¡­ as things¡­ bubbling muck of memories begin to¡­ to flood in. Of hungry Reavers and angry Fae. And of a warm euphoria that numbs my mind to the horrors of it all.


    Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t survive without that! Not...


    Naranggas erupt with teeth and claws before squeezing about the warm soulfire.


    ¡°Lyra!¡± The warmth hisses, makes a choking sound. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ Let go! I¡­ I can¡¯t¨C¡±


    More pain bubbles up at her voice. Of names and things and pain and shouting and running and dark goddesses telling me to hurt someone I love. Of maggots and rot and dead watchers and dead Reavers who won¡¯t look away!


    I squeeze harder. Drink in the warmth weeping from the thing as it wriggles and struggles to escape.


    ¡°L¨C Lyra. I need you to let go of my Amwella, yeah?¡± The warmth pleads, hands wrap about my shoulders and twist through my hair. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m not going anywhere. Just¡­ I¨C¡±


    Tears roll down my face as my body teeth dig deeper into flesh. The taste of blood mixing with the scent of weeping soulfire as¡­ as¡­


    Painful memories of the past few days roll through me. Twital hunting and raping me. Fae threatening to take my songs and unravel me. Of¡­ of Reavers trying to tear me apart. And of glaring dead eyes and twitching talons urging me to hurt¡­ someone¨C


    The warm soul I¡¯m currently trying to eat...?


    Awnya!?!


    I flinch, hard, and try desperately to let go. Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits I try!!!


    B¨C but I can¡¯t. The weeping soulfire numbs the thoughts and memories and agony. Feels like warmth after freezing for so long. Air after drowning.


    But¡­ I don¡¯t dig any deeper. Even¡­ even manage to force my tails to pull in their sharp bits.


    ¡°Yeah. That¡¯s a good start.¡± Awnya grits through a pained murmur. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits girl you have quite the chompers on those.¡±


    She kisses my hair, ¡°Now, let¡¯s get them off me, yeah? C¡¯mon. I know you can do it. Maybe one at a time? Just, slowly and carefully. Don¡¯t want to pull me apart, yeah?¡±


    Part of me does. P- Part of me¡­


    No. No no no!!! Slow. Very slow. Need to¡­ Pull them free. Ignore the tasty soulfire and let her go!!!


    It takes forever, and every few seconds a little wound will leak and I have to freeze else¡­ else¡­ Don¡¯t think about it. Just keep unwinding and untangling!


    Then she¡¯s free, and I¡¯m able to peel my soulfire away without taking too much. She still flinches and lets out a little hiss of pain. But¡­ she doesn¡¯t let me go.


    ¡°Good girl!¡± She runs fingers through my hair as Naranggas pull back, beginning a slow twisting above and around my back. Still dripping with fresh and bloody soulfire.


    Her touch and words relax something in me. A¡­ a worry or pain or something. Helps me¨C


    ¡°Now¡­ Can you unclench your jaw, Lyra?¡± She coos softly. ¡°I don¡¯t mind a bit of biting, but you''re at the bone there and I¡¯d like to heal that up.¡±


    I¡­ oh. It takes more effort than the Naranggas. Not because of some deep hunger, in fact I almost vomit as I realize the amount of blood that¡¯s pooled in my mouth, But because my muscles are so tense. It hurts, but with an audible pop I release her. Then gag and spit blood all over her chest and pretty tunic.


    But she only laughs and wraps me tighter in a little hug. ¡°Perfect. Good job!¡± She reaches down then, touches my good talon and its wrist. ¡°Now how about this one? It¡¯s not as bad, but I¡¯d rather get this all in one go. Will a song from me bother you?¡±


    I pull the talon free. Cough. Shake my head.


    And she sings. It¡¯s a wonderful little tune of soft warm things. Her Amwella quivers and¡­ and weeps wondrous soulfire and¡­


    I end my soul sight. Focus on the song. Let tails drift and bob about in time with her nice melody.


    But¡­ as her tune comes to an end. I am drowning in horror.


    I¡­ I almost killed her. Almost¡­ almost¡­


    ¡°Ugh¡­ that¡¯s the stuff.¡± Awnya sighs in relief, wraps arms around me. ¡°I already helped get some of your body healing up, but you seem mostly good. Did I miss anything?¡±


    I deserve this pain, and more. I¡­ I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m such a messed up thing!


    ¡°Lyra. It¡¯s okay! I¡¯m fine. Just took a bit of a nibble there.¡± She pulls me closer, and It¡¯s then that I realize I¡¯m shaking with terrible sobs. ¡°Little itty bitty bite. I''ll nom you back later, okay? Probably a spot a lot lower than you did though¡­¡±


    That¡­ I¡­ can¡¯t stop a pained giggle from choking through and mixing with the sobs as the thought of it warms me more than any of her weeping soulflame did.


    ¡°You¡¯ll squeal louder than I me, I¡¯ll promise you that!¡± I can almost feel her smile then, feel a trio of kisses rain down on the top of my head. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits Lyra I¡¯ve thought of nothing else but you since I left. Wanted to just¡­ just hold you again. Albeit in safer places.¡±


    I tremble, moving to pull both talons against my chest. Awnya catches the bad one. ¡°Nope, I get this one.¡±


    ¡°Pl¨C Pleas¨C¡± I try to croak out, but my voice is a raspy mess. Want to beg her to just¡­ let me finish. It¡¯s horrible and rotten and almost¡­ almost cursed you.


    Let me bite it off!


    ¡°Moon and Stars,¡± She chides me, nothing but patient care in her voice. ¡°C¡¯mon, sit up. Let¡¯s get you a drink.¡±


    I hesitate, taste the blood still coating my mouth and lips and tongue. Gag, then obey.


    ¡°That¡¯s it.¡± She wraps legs around while keeping my knees splayed beneath me. ¡°Hey, wanna see something neat?¡±


    I can only just glance up to stare into her marvelous golden amber eyes.


    Then she whistles a soft tune of¡­ something. Brings hands around her head in a big motion, then cups them in front of my face and mouth and¡­


    And then she¡¯s tipping a mouthful of cool fresh springwater past my lips. I can only just¡­ stare and drink and wash the taste of blood away. My eyes meet her¡¯s again in wonder and awe. Then the water and song are gone, leaving her hands to trace up and cup my face.


    ¡°Hey.¡± She coos and smiles, my heart flutters and burns in¡­ things.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡± Is all I can whimper.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be. This¡­¡± She looks past me, glimmering eyes focused on my tails. ¡°I¡­ I think I¡¯m starting to put some things together. But for now I¡­ Honestly Lyra we need to get you someplace safe.¡±


    I shake my head. No.


    ¡°Your mother¡¯s was a good spot. Or¡­¡±


    I keep shaking. No.


    ¡°Naw, you''re right. She wouldn¡¯t appreciate all the noise we¡¯d make.¡± She leans back, but keeps a hand on my maimed one. ¡°Hm¡­ where to run off too¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not leaving.¡± I reply. Voice still a little raspy and horrible.


    She taps her chin, ignores me. ¡°Could just¡­ run around for a bit. I actually know a spot past a rift. Little island with wonderful¨C¡±


    ¡°Awnya!¡± I hiss softly. ¡°I¡¯m not leaving again.¡±


    She sighs, ¡°Yeah. I... guessed that. Just¡­ wishful thinking.¡±


    But it doesn¡¯t muddle her smile, the glimmer in her eyes that has nothing to do with Amwella sight. ¡°Maybe¡­ Maybe I can talk you into it after we figure more of this out. Get you on a beach¡­ or¡­ have you ever visited the ocean, Lyra?¡±


    I huff, look away as I feel her words tug at me¡­ at¡­ at images of¡­ of being with her again. ¡°N¨C No.¡±


    ¡°Oh then that¡¯s the first place! You¡¯d love it! Just¡­ nothing but water all around. We¡¯d figure out how to grow gills and fins and¨C¡±


    ¡°Stop. Please.¡± I whisper.


    She just¡­ smirks at me. Undeterred. Sensing how easy it would be to just... tip me into this. Into running away. Just needs time.


    ¡°Awnya¡­ I¡­¡± I begin to tell her how much I care for her. How¡­ How I wish I¡¯d met her twelve years ago, or¡­ or even just a few months ago. How I¡¯d give almost anything to just¡­ spend that life with her.


    But¡­ I can¡¯t. Because my soul is already in the hands of another.


    Then the floor trembles, just a little. But enough that we both jerk. Our eyes meet.


    Awnya winces, ¡°I don¡¯t suppose I can talk you into waiting here? Let me see what that was?¡±


    My tails alert me to the Reaver in the doorway.


    ¡°Come.¡± Bulderii commands.

 Chapter 39: To Unweave a Sibling

    <u>Content Warning: </u>


    Violence. Threats of detransitioning (veiled behind a threat of unmaking Lyra back into previous body), some suicide/death ideation in the intro. Illegal Cliffhanger.


    <u>Melody of The Three Deaths</u>


    To a Fae, there are three ways the dream can end.


    The first is the most conventional. The heart stops, the head is squashed¡­ that sort of thing. Very¡­ physical and normal, but often unexpected and tragic in its abruptness. Especially for a people promised an eternity of life who can heal almost any wounds given time and Amwella.


    The second is known as an unraveling or an unmaking. Our first songs involve knitting new bodies from old ones, and our best healing magics simply call us back to that first Fae shape. Thus, we also know exactly where to pull and which things to push to cause everything to unwind. This is very much a chosen thing. One that most Fae will pick when they decide to end the dream for one reason or another.


    It¡¯s almost always painless.


    The last is the worst. The most cruel, and should be completely impossible for a Fae to achieve on their own. It is the total loss or death of their Amwella. This can often only happen by being fed upon, or¡­as I have discovered, by a Dreamer''s Lamentation draining away the final dregs of one¡¯s soul.


    What I did not know is that this will leave the body alive¡­ at least for a bit. A husk with all its memories, but no soul to draw upon. No Amwella to channel. All flesh with no fire.


    Only empty, cold, silence before the eventual Rot settles in.


    - Melivias of the Fae


    True to Awnya¡¯s words, Ganzorig did not use stealth. Just¡­ walked right in the front door after kicking them open. Both sit wide, letting the dry night air of Theradas wash into the room.


    When we arrive he and two other Fae stand framed in the entrance, with Thendra and the other three surviving Reavers at her back about twenty feet opposite. As we come down the stairwell to enter the room, his eyes dart to us, widen as they pass over my three growths. Then darken as his gaze settles on Awnya¡¯s still wounded core.


    ¡°Barely a night.¡± He growls, almost shaking with rage. ¡°And this thing has already progressed and¨C¡±


    ¡°Woah woah!¡± Awnya holds up her hands. ¡°You¡¯re jumping to so many conclusions there, dad. Just¡­ take a few breaths. I¡¯m fine!¡±


    Thendra purrs approval at her words, then turns to¡­ to¡­


    Beloved Sibling? Usete stands to the right of Ganzorig, eyes wide with glimmering horror as they watch my tendrils and core and hands.


    ¡°Usete of the Fae, It¡¯s been a while since we¡¯ve spoken.¡± Thendra purrs.


    They only spare her a glance, swallows and nods. ¡°Can¡¯t say it was a pleasant conversation, Thendra of the Thirteen.¡±


    Even with her back to me I can hear the predatory smile in her words. ¡°Eyegorger now too. And I quite enjoyed it. But I also seem to recall a vow you laid at my feet.¡±


    ¡°I did, that I would return her to wherever she desired. After, her conditions were seen to.¡±


    ¡°Usete, What are you doing here?¡± I step forward, try very very hard to keep my tendrils back and low and as unthreatening as possible.


    They pause, face a twisted mess of such confliction and... shame? Guilt?


    ¡°We came to settle this.¡± Ganzorig answers for them. ¡°Now. Tonight. And I¡¯m glad we did. Look at yourself. Look at how bad you¡¯ve gotten in such a short period of time!¡±


    I¡¯m about to try to bite out a reply, but Awnya steps forward.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits, No. Absolutely not. Get out.¡± She demands. ¡°Lyra is my responsibility. Passed into my care by Usete. You have no claim to her healing.¡±


    Ganzorig growls, but Usete lays a hand on his shoulder, steps forward. ¡°I¡­ I didn¡¯t have the right to it. I went to Ganzorig twelve years back, passed this to him. He¡­ he should have handled this.¡±


    ¡°Handled?¡± I stammer, voice shrill. That¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s the¡­ same words they used before. When¡­ when they¡­


    They wince, must see the wound the word stings me with. ¡°Lyra I¡¯m¡­ Please. Come with us. With me. We can still settle your stirring.¡±


    ¡°And if you can¡¯t?¡± I''m trembling as I step back, tails writhing now. ¡°What then? You¡­ you promised me, Beloved Sibling. Sang it for me. That¡­ that you wouldn¡¯t betray me again.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m keeping that promise. You left the Fae-wood, abandoned the healing.¡± They hold a hand out toward me, pleading. ¡°Come back with me, let us help you.¡±


    ¡°N- No. I¡­ I can¡¯t.¡± I shake my head, take another step back. ¡°You just keep making the same mistakes.¡±


    ¡°We can help!¡±


    ¡°And if you can¡¯t? Then what?¡± I hiss, the same fury from the matron''s estate bubbling up from the muck in my soul. ¡°What will you let them do to me? What will you let them take!?!¡±


    A long pause, Usete¡¯s hand drops. Face goes pale. ¡°You¡¯re¡­ Lyra, this is bigger than you. We have to consider the wider Dream.¡±


    If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    The weight of their broken promise shatters me into silence.


    Ganzorig looks to Awnya. ¡°Little Sparrow.¡±


    Her hand moves to my elbow. ¡°Dad.¡±


    It¡¯s¡­. It¡¯s like decades of unspoken understanding passes between them then. Something¡­ something I never got to develop with my own mother. She knows my form and ways, but¡­ I never got to learn hers.


    Not before Usete drove me from her and the happiness she''d given me.


    Ganzorig sighs, shakes his head like¡­ like he¡¯s trying to¨C


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Awnya whispers to me.


    I glance back, meet her eyes. Hoping¡­ hoping¡­ she hasn''t changed her mind. Desperate for her to not have broken her promises.


    ¡°I¡¯m with you, whatever you decide.¡± She murmurs, making my heart break in the opposite way Usete had. ¡°I meant what I said. I don¡¯t like you being here, But... I understand you not trusting them.¡±


    Her confidence in me causes the bubbling muck of rage roiling inside my soul to pause. I look back to the Fae, to my Beloved Sibling, to Awnya¡¯s dad. See flashes of the pain this¡­ this¡­ disagreement could cause. Consider¡­ am¡­ am I worth all this? Eyes drift down to talons, glare at the one that isn¡¯t mine. The one that tried to curse Awnya.


    ¡°M¨C Maybe¨C¡±


    Purring laughter from my dark goddess interrupts me. ¡°You forget something, Fae.¡±


    A beat, then the oldest speaks.


    ¡°I haven''t forgotten,¡± Ganzorig rumbles, with way less rage in his voice as he counters ¡°But we Fae don¡¯t respect slavers. Even if she agreed to¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡± She cuts him off with a calm rumble. ¡°Something else.¡±


    He pauses, brow furrows. ¡°Oh?¡±


    I¡­ what is she¡­?


    ¡°You were a goat, yes?¡±


    That turns his confusion into a glare. Awnya¡¯s words, calling him that¡­


    ¡°And if I was?¡±


    She holds up a single hand, finger pointing up. ¡°Your mistake, old Fae, was that when scaling an unfamiliar mountain you should always be mindful of where you step. For each stone could turn and give way beneath your feet.¡±


    A confused pause. Then Thendra¡¯s Amwella pulses and suddenly the doors behind the Fae grind and slam shut without anyone touching them. Everyone but Thendra and her Reavers flinches hard.


    ¡°I have spent years securing this place. Attuning its walls and ways to my will.¡± She purrs, ¡°And you¡¯ve fallen into a den of flesh eaters.¡±


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s¨C¡±


    ¡°Thendra wai¨C¡±


    ¡°Awnya¨C¡±


    ¡°Lyra¨C¡±


    And then the room is plunged into a sudden and smothering darkness that not even my Amwella sight can pierce.


    *   *   *


    The first thing I recognise are the muffled songs of light and fire and things to wash away the darkness.


    The second, is the mistake of singing such things.


    The Fae to the left of Ganzorig, the one who¡¯s name I will never know, suddenly appears. Hand raised with a flicker of pure blue they probably expected to engulf the entire room with, but¡­ all it does is show their hand and top of their head.


    An arrow passes so close by my ear I¡¯m sure I lost some hair, followed by the sound of a heavy blow against flesh. Then the arm jerks and the flame sputters out.


    The last thing I realize is that my tails do allow me to see in this pitch. Amwella sight stopped working the moment the room fell into this nightmare. But¡­ The Amwella pressure sense of my new limbs seems to work. Even if it¡¯s at a fairly limited range and only really shows a soul¡¯s outline.


    Awnya pulls us back, spitting quiet curses and whistling songs of somethings I can¡¯t understand. All sound seems muffled too, like¡­ like this darkness smothers it. Then my foot hits something, the first of the stairwell¡¯s steps, and we¡¯re tumbling up.


    A crash from the room beyond, a scream of pain. Songs of whistling melodies that slice the ear and tear at the darkness with brief flashes of color.


    ¡°Lyra, Hey.¡± Awnya reaches out. ¡°Stay here, okay? Need you to¨C¡±


    I don¡¯t let her go. Not because of some fear of being alone, but because I sense that right now we are surrounded by two predators. One up the steps¡­ Bulderii¡­ And the one approaching is too big to be anyone else.


    ¡°Little Fae.¡± My dark goddess whispers, kneeling before me.


    Awnya draws her blade then, it emits a very very small blue glow that barely reveals the hand that holds it as she spits and aims its point at Thendra.


    ¡°Peace, Awnya of the Fae.¡± Thendra purrs, ¡°I keep my oaths, and you are a guest in my home. Remain neutral or fight upon my side, and my Reavers will watch over you.¡±


    ¡°Or you call this all off and no one else needs to¨C¡±


    Another loud cutting of painful song, muffled hisses and growls of anger, and another arrow is loosed past our shoulders.


    ¡°We are beyond that now, your elder stated his intentions quite plainly.¡±


    ¡°Thendra.¡± I plead. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t want them to die. They¡¯re my Beloved Sibling and¨C¡±


    To my surprise, a large warm hand reaches out to cup my cheek very very gently. ¡°This is the way of things, little Fae.¡±


    ¡°B¨C But¡­¡± I stammer. ¡°I¡¯ll come back. I¡¯ll always come back. Just¡­ let them try to¡­ to fix me. Please. I¨C¡±


    ¡°You do not need fixing, My Lyra.¡± She purrs with such deep anger.


    I jolt to a stop at her words. Let a few more far off sounds of carnage wash over us.


    Awnya squeezes my arm tighter. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ Thendra this isn¡¯t the way. Even if you win here other Fae will¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I whisper, tears begin to stream down my face at the¡­ the realization. At how I can still keep everyone alive.


    Just¡­ they¡¯ll hate me. but¡­


    ¡°Lyra?¡±


    ¡°Only¡­ Only the Fae here know. Right?¡±


    Her nails dig into my arm, a stressed affirmation of my claim.


    ¡°I could curse them.¡± I whisper. ¡°No one needs to die.¡±


    Thendra hums, annoyed but¡­ also amused.


    ¡°I hate this.¡± Awnya grunts, ¡°But¡­ the old goat won¡¯t move on this now. If you can do it without damaging them too much¡­¡±


    ¡°Thendra.¡± I take her wrist, ¡°I won¡¯t curse them like I did Voe or¡­ or the Matron. I¡¯m doing this to protect us. Nothing more.¡±


    For a moment, I think I feel an anger rising. Feel future punishments forming. But then she gives me a wondrous gift. ¡°Sing what you think best, little Fae.¡±


    Reflex saves me from hesitating, but then I am quietly choking out a song of quiet thanks. Then she is pulling me up onto her back, settles my hands onto straps and grooves I can use to hold myself in place.


    Awnya rises with us, hand still locked on my elbow.


    ¡°Fae, this smog is no place for you, and I will not have my Lyra distracted.¡± Thendra purrs, ¡°Remain by Bulderii, ensure none try to escape deeper into my manor.¡±


    A pause, and I¡¯m worried I¡¯ll need to convince her.


    ¡°Keep her safe, okay big girl?¡±


    Thendra purrs, Awnya releases my arm, and we are moving.


    I think¡­ I wonder if my ability to sense pressure got better when my tails split and I¡­ um¡­ okay don¡¯t think about that. Don¡¯t¡­ don¡¯t need the temptations right now.


    Focus on the songs.


    As Thendra moves like a predator, I consider the two best options for a curse that will protect us. I¡¯ve already decided to avoid using the horrible Fae words, no¡­ no rot maggots!! So that leaves me with human words and smaller stings. Which means my curse has to be direct for it to bite hard enough to hamper these elder Fae. Worse case, I can always just¡­ place two identical ones. This also means I have to carve the thing onto their flesh, no anchoring anything onto myself or relying on eye contact like I did with Thendra.


    So, two options. First is¡­ well really complicated and has the most possibility for failure. I¡¯d string out a long curse of things they cannot do. Stay away, don¡¯t talk about me, don¡¯t take my songs. But¡­ while each of those would bring a solid bite if they broke it, it also might never stop biting. Even¡­ even if one of them tried to wriggle around my curse and failed, I don¡¯t want them to experience a horrible Amwella death. This also will take longer to weave, and I could miss something, some avenue of subtlety that will allow them to tell others about me and get even more Fae involved.


    The second¡­ well I¡¯d just lay a curse like Thendra wanted on the Watchers. You will obey all of my commands. Then I just¡­ take my time and lay out a series of instructions they have to follow. I can also end and change old commands if I ever need to. But¡­ I hate it. They¡­ they¡¯d be my slaves then. At¡­ at least on some level.


    But¡­ What choice do I have? They did this. They came after me!


    Thendra has paused now, and while I can only feel the Fae¡¯s souls when my tail¡¯s whip out to their full eight foot length, I can feel her thoughtful regard of the two. Patient predator instincts roll through her every muscle.


    Usete and Ganzorig have backed into a corner and seem to weave their Amwella out into songs that dance and flit about them. Every now and again there is a crack or a thud as either a Reaver¡¯s soul tries to sneak up or pounce and gets batted away, or an object (probably Bulderii¡¯s arrows) crack against some kind of barrier. A few times the Reavers try to get a tendril of soulfire around them, but the shield seems to protect them from that too.


    ¡°I¡¯ll need to be close to lay a curse strong enough.¡± I whisper into Thendra¡¯s ear as part of my song¡¯s melody.


    She hums understanding, and her soul considers and watches and waits¡­


    Then she rumbles, ¡°Prepare your first curse.¡±


    Then there is a grinding sound from next to us¡­ I don¡¯t¡­ oh! Thendra takes up something heavy, whirls it around, then throws one of those big couch things directly at the pair.


    The barrier of Usete flairs, screams, cracks and¨C


    Then we¡¯re beside them, can feel a¡­ a few snaps, muffled screams as their song is cut off. Then Thendra has moved us back with something writhing and struggling in her arms.


    She gives no command, just¡­ something soft and fleshy and cool bumps my arm. I can tell from the Amwella pinned to her chest this is the first target.


    Usete, Beloved Sibling¡­ I¡¯m so sorry...

 Chapter 40: Offerings of Flesh and Soul

    <u>Content warning/Spoiler:</u>


    Violence. Blood. feeling of being forcibly Detransitioned.


    I weave a curse through my song, twist a brand of ugly design on my Beloved Siblings¡¯... foot? Yeah this feels like a foot. Bottom of the foot. Easily hidden. I use human words, not Fae ones. No maggots, no rot, don¡¯t think about the rot maggots!


    You will obey all of my(Lyra¡¯s) commands.


    Then it¡¯s done. Simple and horrible and¡­ wonderfully perfect. I crawl up and around Thendra and Usete¡¯s bodies to whisper in their ear.


    ¡°Be still, Beloved sibling. Only sing quiet songs to heal your body.¡± A weird¡­ tingle rolls down my spine as I speak my first command. Feel¡­ feel a difference in pitch and a little bit of my Amwella tints the words.


    They jerk and flail, and I can¡¯t stop a single sob as I watch the curse bite them.


    ¡°You¡¯re cursed,¡± Thendra purrs, ¡°Obey my Lyra¡¯s command and the sting¡¯s ends.¡±


    They settle, then a quiet humming tune of healing emits from the soul and mouth. Still muffled by the dark. Then Thendra lays them on the ground, and we¡¯re moving again.


    Ganzorig¡¯s Amwella flares and pulses with a song that seems to roil in the dark. A whirling harmony of warning and violence. There¡¯s also¡­ heat. Overwhelming and terrible as it rolls from the corner he¡¯s been backed into. As Thendra passes close I¡­ I¡¯m sure he¡¯s singing fire into the space between us.


    Then there is a trembling, and I can hear the song through the vibrations¡­ Feel the pulsing horrible things this old Fae means to drag down upon all within this room.


    Burn! Then let the mountain fall and bury your charred bones.


    I jerk back at the fury of the harmony.


    ¡°Can your songs protect from this?¡± Thendra purrs.


    I¡­ I don¡¯t know. But it doesn¡¯t matter. His roiling song will kill everyone here if I don¡¯t!


    ¡°Yes.¡± I force into my tune, confident as possible. ¡°But just me.¡±


    Then I¡¯m on the floor, pleading with the air to cool and the fire to not burn me. But¡­ it doesn¡¯t listen. Ganzorig¡¯s song is too overbearing, and¡­ and I¡¯m almost sure he¡¯s woven a counter melody into his workings to subvert such a trick.


    I don¡¯t stop running, just reweave my melody. I¡­ I have a song that should be able to protect me.


    Eye¡¯s bleeding, I pour my horrid song of Returning Torments into the world. Feel the maybe maggots perk up at the possibility of¨C


    The fire closes in, begins to char skin and hair and eyes. Screaming as it begins to boil and cleanse rot and decay from the dream. Charing and¨C


    Spite eats the flames, collects the charring harmony and turns it into a reverberation of¨C


    Thrumming quakes that shake the mountain come next, a rolling avalanche of overwhelming weight to crush all beneath¨C


    Spite consumes the force, mixes it with the searing torment of the flame.


    And in the final moment before I collide with Ganzorig, my song overlaps with his soul. Overwhelming him with all the pain he¡¯d woven into the Dream, then releases it.


    There is a crack, then an explosion of pain and flame that reverses my momentum as something hard and solid slams into my chest. Cracks ribs and cuts off my song.


    I slump to the floor in the sudden silence, writhe and twist as the curse stings and bites.


    C¡­ Can¡¯t breathe¡­ Can¡¯t¡­ Lungs and ribs broken and¨C


    Reavers close in around us, but¡­ but the Amwella standing over me coughs, then redoubles his songs. Flame and force tear through the air and drive them back.


    Need to breathe! Need¡­ need air to sing and stop the curse!


    Through the suffocating pain and curses sting I feel a hand rest on my shoulder, and¡­ and¡­ and¡­


    The song shifts, turns¡­ strange. Odd and¡­ and¡­


    Ganzorig begins to mix a song of unweaving into his tune, and I feel my skin and bone of shoulder begin to¡­ to shift. To melt and crack and¡­ and¡­


    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    Fae mercy flares before my eyes. Clear as the mid-day sun. A nature that abhors killing, that would¡­ would twist my body back into old wretched shapes rather than just ending me.


    Whip-Snap goes my tails, furious unspeakable rage made soulfire. They rake at his Amwella. Curl about his form to squeeze and tear to MAKE HIM STOP!


    But¡­ his age is made clear to me then. Centuries of song and life and wondrous love have made his soul a thing of mountains. Solid as rock and twice as unbreakable. I could spend hours tearing at his core and leave only gashes.


    That¡­ and his harmony of rock and flame hasn¡¯t even lessened. If anything it burns hotter! Hits harder! Ganzorig is a master of Fae song, and weaves multiple melodies together into a perfect symphony with such horrible ease.


    L¡­ Let.


    Shoulder bends, old rotten shape returning. Curse of a wrong body I burned and buried reforming beneath his touch. A roar, more Amwella prowls at the edge of Ganzorig¡¯s protective shell. Furniture and darkness and even flesh melt within seconds as they are struck with the force of the mountains and scorched with the fury of the sun.


    ME.


    The unweaving pushes deeper, begins to roll over my flesh, bend bone and blood and soul to¨C


    SING!


    I choke and cough, inhale deeply, and wail such hatred for this wretched dream into Ganzorig. He tries to jerk back, and his song remains strong even with the sudden assault. I catch his wrist, then a twitch of a talon that is not mine, and I am carving into Ganzorig¡¯s hand.


    No blood bubbles up. Hard stone scales block the talon¡¯s bite. It¡¯s¡­. Too hard?


    A hand locks around my throat, cuts off my song, then lifts me, continues the unmaking. I kick and gag and claw with everything I am.


    Need the maggots!!!


    His song touches my mind now¡­ begins to¡­ to reave at my memories. Burying song magic beneath a wave of heavy stone. Works to ensure I can¡¯t warp my form back with a wondrous Fae song after his cruel workings are finished.


    I hiss and wriggle fingers beneath his thick stone hand, get just enough space to sing a curse of¨C


    Spread the Rot. Stir the dream!!!


    A blighted talon jerks out, finds a face of stone and¡­ something soft and wet and¡­ pops it with a thumb. Sticky and warm blood explodes from the wound. Ganzorig grunts, takes my wrist and pulls it free of his eye, but¡­ it¡¯s too late.


    You will obey all my(Lyra¡¯s) commands.


    Rot maggots burst within his soul. Writhing beautiful little horrors bound to my will and command.


    ¡°Let me go.¡± I wheeze into the song.


    He squeezes tighter, and the maggots feast. Ganzorig doesn¡¯t listen, but the sudden pain deep within his soul causes his grip to loosen. Enough so I can wriggle free and drop to the floor in a coughing choking slump.


    Something¡­ something is wrong! Legs and arms and¡­ and EVERYTHING FEELS WRONG!


    ¡°End your songs!¡± I hiss into the melody.


    Hands shaking, I¡­ I run hands over my body and¡­ and¡­ It¡¯s all wrong!!! Bones and flesh and shapes all wrong!!! I scream agony and fury and call up my true shape. Begin to¡­ to rip and tear and bite and froth to get all these horrible things off me!!!


    Ganzorig grunts and growls, stumbles back. But I barely even notice as his song begins to fade and die. I¡¯m too busy remaking myself.


    The darkness muffles my work, but doesn¡¯t contain it as I relive the agony of Fae flesh-shaping.


    ¡°Wh¨C What have you laid in me?¡± Ganzorig growls. ¡°What¡­ what Rot and Ruin is this¨C¡±


    Just as quick as the darkness consumed us, it vomits us back into a well lit room.


    I squeeze my eyes shut, terrified of what Ganzorig has done to my form. I keep singing. Keep ripping and tearing and wailing at my body to please go back. But¡­ his unmaking touched my mind. And¡­ and I have to push the rocks off the memories before I can¨C


    ¡°Thendra don¡¯t!!!¡± A voice shouts.


    There is a heavy thump as I feel my Dark Goddess'' form pass over me with a speed I can barely follow, a¡­ a rough coughing sound like rocks grinding against each other.


    ¡°He will not weave any more magic in my manor.¡± My dark goddess growls. ¡°If he doesn¡¯t stop resisting, I will end him before the curse can consume him.¡±


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits!¡± Awnya shouts from beside me. ¡°Dad, just¡­ STOP!!! Stop fighting! You¨C¡±


    This goes on for a while, but I ignore most of it. Just¡­ just bury talons into the floor as I wail and sob and claw with song at the flesh that¡¯s been twisted into old horrible shapes. Working feverishly to free the old melodies that will let me fix myself.


    ¡°Lyra? Hey hey!¡± Awnya kneels before me. ¡°I need you to hold up for a second. Tell Usete to stop their healing song. They¡¯re¨C¡±


    I just shake my head, try to curl in on myself even more. Need to finish. I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m not a real person unless I fix me!


    ¡°THENDRA!¡± Awnya shouts, ¡°Get your Reaver¡¯s off Usete! Don¨C¡±


    ¡°They have earned a feast, Fae.¡± Thendra purrs, ¡°They will not kill, only feed to restore their own¨C¡±


    A whirl of motion. A tense pause only punctuated by my furious song.


    ¡°I won¡¯t ask again, big girl.¡± Awnya whispers, so softly I barely notice.


    ¡°You won¡¯t like where this path leads.¡± Thendra purrs with such¡­ anticipation. ¡°Are you sure you want to walk it?¡±


    No. No no no. Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t lose either of them to¨C


    ¡°STOP!¡± I bite the command through song and agony to everyone in the room. A healing melody so soft I only notice it when its whistling ends chokes to a halt.


    I find the buried song of home within the ending of that tune. Fuse it into my workings.


    A pause, a shuffle, then warm hands touch my shoulders. ¡°Lyra? Hey, did¡­ Did something happen to your eyes?¡±


    I shake my head. Keep singing. Don¡¯t¡­ I don''t want to speak the things I¡¯m trying to fix into my workings.


    ¡°The darkness is gone. You can open them.¡± She touches my face. I curl around myself tighter and shake again.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong? You seem okay.¡± She murmurs, ¡°Just some cuts and scratches, soul is a bit mangled. But¡­ why sing this?¡±


    I jerk away. I¡¯m all wrong. My mind and body are¡­ he ruined me! I have to fix it!


    A growl, then a thump. Wheezing hard breaths as I feel Thendra¡¯s soul loom over me.


    ¡°Lyra, stop.¡± Comes the command of nightmares.


    I choke and gag to stop my song on reflex.


    ¡°N¨C no!¡± I whisper. ¡°P- Please. Thendra. Let me sing! I need to fix this!¡±


    A pause.


    ¡°Later. Tell me of your commands and their¨C¡±


    ¡°NO!¡± I scream, keep my eyes closed. ¡°Now, Thendra. I¨C¡±


    A hand grips my chin and neck, familiar and¡­ and¡­ causes a war of things within me. Images of sex mingled with¡­ with what this really means. She uses this to force her slaves to pay attention.


    ¡°Open your eyes.¡± She growls.


    ¡°Thendra, she¡¯s not¨C¡±


    I shake my head, voice a trembling human whisper. ¡°D¨C don¡¯t m¨C make me s¨C see it.¡±


    A pause, fury tinted with confusion. ¡°See what?¡±


    ¡°M¨C My old b¨C body!!! He¡­ he was unraveling me. Turning me human and sealing my songs¡­ M-making me a¡­ a¨C¡±


    Boy. I can¡¯t speak the word.


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Awnya touches Thendra¡¯s hand, a warning to her. ¡°Your body is fine. Nearly perfect.¡±


    I jerk to a stop. ¡°B¨C but he¡­ I f¨C felt him¨C¡±


    ¡°I can see some¡­ off human skin and such. But, you''re still you, Lyra. Still the lovely Fae Girl I found trying to riftwalk.¡±


    I let my eyes open. Hands wander down and over and¡­ and¡­ she¡¯s right. My body isn''t¡­ It still feels wrong, but I slowly realize it isn¡¯t the physical thing of the shapes that feel off. But¡­ deeper things. Not soul, not body things. Not quite¡­


    ¡°But¡­ I felt it. Felt his unmaking.¡±


    Thendra tilts her head, Jade eyes roll over my body and soul. ¡°Your body became more human for a time, but¡­ no more. You¡¯ve already begun it¡¯s reweaving back into your Fae form.¡±


    My dark goddess is¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits she is so wounded. Most of one arm and chest are burned and bruised! Half her face is¡­ is really bad. Lots of burns.


    ¡°B¨C but.¡±


    ¡°Later.¡± Thendra doesn¡¯t growl, but¡­ her patience is thinned. Eyes drift over me to¨C


    I jerk around. See Usete leaning against a couch. All three Reaver¡¯s crowd around.


    ¡°No!¡± I shout, fight to stand. ¡°D¨C don¡¯t!¡±


    ¡°They will survive.¡± Thendra¡¯s hand catches my arm, then she says through a growl. ¡°After your commands are laid, we will feast.¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I turn to stare up at her.


    I feel her soul wrap around as Jade eyes narrow and bore down into me.


    ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m with Lyra on this.¡± Awnya twirls her little blade between fingers. ¡°No eating our family. No matter how stupid they¡¯ve acted.¡±


    ¡°Your elder nearly killed us all, Fae.¡± Thendra doesn¡¯t even spare her a look, just¡­ smothers me beneath a horrid glare. I begin to wither.


    ¡°Thendra¡­ please¡­¡± I whisper, reach out toward her hand to try and calm¨C


    She snatches up my wrist, reclaims my jaw in her huge hand. And I feel her soul thrum with violence. So hot and mangled with hunger that I shudder. Last time it was like this was¡­ was after the Matron¡¯s library. When she thought I could escape our bargain.


    ¡°Hey, back off.¡± Awnya¡¯s blade settles on Thendra¡¯s wrist.


    Reaver¡¯s growl, bowstring whispers, Thendra¡¯s soul begins to¨C


    ¡°They can just do what we did that week before the Matron¡¯s venture!¡± I snap before I fully process the offer.

 Chapter 41: Corpse Piling

    HA! So... Only one chapter left before the END of Arc one of LoTDD!!! Are you excited? Arc two is already written/edited/ready to go right away! And I CANNOT wait to share it with you all!!!


    BTW, Arc 1 title is <u>''To Break a Fae''.</u> And I will post Arc 2''s name at the start of it!


    <u>Content Warning:</u>


    Trauma and thinking about past Sexual assault. then violence. then death.


    Everyone pauses. Awnya in confusion. The Reavers in surprise. Even Thendra¡¯s eyes seem to widen a little.


    ¡°Huh?¡± Awnya flinches at the sudden changes she can¡¯t understand. ¡°What did¨C¡±


    Big hands release me¡­ Jade eyes seem to glimmer with¡­ with something¡­ I can¡¯t. Don¡¯t want to¨C


    ¡°It¡¯s hard to explain.¡± I turn and head toward Usete to hide my lie from Awnya.


    Thendra purrs in contemplation.


    ¡°It''ll end better for everyone here.¡± I hiss.


    Crack Whip-Snap. And the Reavers back off. Letting me kneel down next to my Beloved Sibling.


    ¡°Lyra¨C¡± They wheeze.


    I lay my good talon on their lips. ¡°Be quiet.¡±


    Their mouth clamps shut. I take a deep breath, feel my face fall into sadness as I move to sit, take up one of their hands. Squeeze it.


    ¡°You¡¯ll never come near me willingly again. You¡¯ll not speak to anyone of me, nor attempt to communicate or draw others to myself or Thendra. You will not try to remove or tell anyone about this curse.¡± I murmur. ¡°And¡­ I don¡¯t know if my curse can read your thoughts¡­ but¡­ I think it would be best if you really did Consider me dead and gone from the dream, Beloved Sibling.¡±


    They writhe, and I can¡¯t help but sob as I see them fight. Realizing my curse can probably read emotions as good as Awnya''s sensing song. I rise, legs a wobbly mess. Turn to walk past Thendra, and over to Awnya and Ganzorig.


    He¡­ he¡¯s alive, but only just regaining consciousness. His eye is¡­ oh Dreamer¡¯s tits the pupil is an ugly mess of half healed muck marred with a blood brand that curls around the entire thing. I think Thendra choked him out, or hit him in the head¡­ or something. His chest is a mess of cracked stoneskin and a bit of blood from where my song of spite hit him. I repeat the same commands, but also add that he will keep the marred eye covered and closed when possible.


    ¡°Awnya can you¡­ can you take them somewhere safe?¡± I whisper as I finish the commands. ¡°Stick around for a few days and make sure¡­ make sure my commands hold? And they heal up okay?¡±


    She sighs, brushes some hair out of Ganzorig¡¯s rolling eyes. All while humming a little tune to keep him drowsy and confused and healing. ¡°Yeah, yeah. I can do that.¡±


    ¡°But I need the big cunt to swear not to do whatever it is she keeps doing. Let you rest and heal and¨C¡± She turns a serious look to me.


    I lay a good talon on her lips, turn to Thendra. I try to¡­ to communicate the deception I¡¯m trying to weave here. I need her help to sell it to Awnya.


    If she finds out what I¡¯m offering to save these two from your Reavers she¡¯ll never leave.


    Thendra thrums in consideration, then nods. ¡°I will make sure Lyra gets ample rest.¡±


    ¡°No more excursions or stupid late night ambushes or¨C¡±


    Thendra purrs out a laugh, ¡°No. I will keep her safe from everything she wishes to avoid.¡±


    It¡­ I can feel her worry, but Awnya agrees. And¡­ and there was still the tragedy of the dead Fae that Bulderii killed. Head pulverized by one of her huge arrows. I have to weave a few more commands to force Usete and Ganzorig to not spread word of their end. Other than it being a tragic accident during an excursion into the dangerous Rorliras tunnels.


    I change the commands on Usete and Ganzorig so they can sing and talk and move about just as the Rift Awnya took them through closes. Both their eyes filled with¡­ with such an empty¡­ a formless anger and sadness or¡­


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    Then I¡¯m going back to enter the manor. I pull the doors closed, and turn to see Thendra and her Reavers waiting.


    I sigh. Numb and empty of¡­ of everything. It¡¯s probably the only reason I¡¯m not panicking as I begin to come to grips with what I said.


    How¡­ How I offered to¡­ to¡­


    I look down at myself. At¡­ at the little human patches of skin wrapped in Fae shaped flesh. Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­ this¡­ my Fae flesh was better at dealing with pain and damage. Was also super sensitive to¡­ well¡­ sex things. I¡¯m not sure how much of that got messed up.


    ¡°Just¡­ let me heal a bit before...¡± I murmur. ¡°I¡¯m not sure how easily you¡¯ll get my Amwella if I don¡¯t.¡±


    But¡­ Why didn¡¯t Ganzorig¡¯s song change me back to¡­ to what my human form was? I never really changed much of my human body to a girl. Just¡­ focused on the perfect female Fae shape I wanted and ripped off the human parts as I grew the new ones. I burned and buried those old things piece by piece.


    The thoughts distract me from the silence. On how Thendra gives me no commands to sing.


    I glance up. Find everyone just¡­ watching. Waiting. I tremble, look away.


    ¡°Come to my chambers when you¡¯ve finished.¡± Thendra commands me, then heads up the stairs. Bulderii follows after a brief pause.


    The three remaining Reavers wait, glowing eyes flitting between my soul and¡­ and my whirling tails as they weave a pattern of anxious worry about me.


    ¡°Right. Okay. Great.¡± I hiss, ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits, let¡¯s¡­ let¡¯s at least find a bed.¡±


    They don¡¯t move, and¡­ I guess I have to lead the way. I wander through the halls and feel the trio following about fifteen feet back. I¡­ I know I¡¯m stalling. These three have a room they share just down the hall from Thendra. And¡­ honestly I¡¯m not sure how able I¡¯ll be to hobble through these hallways after¡­


    After¡­


    I freeze. Breath quickens. Panic bubbles up and strangles thoughts. Memories of feeding and pain and how empty I felt. Of¡­ of how Twital raped me and left me a puddle all while she laughed at my helplessness.


    Such a simple word, but it makes my entire body nearly collapse at the deep horror and shame it brings. Of¡­ of how I hate myself for being so weak then. Even¡­ almost as much as I hate the dead woman who hurt me.


    The Reavers don¡¯t make a sound. Don¡¯t purr or growl or threaten me. Just¡­ wait.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± I hiss, glance through the nearest doorway. See that it¡­ it contains a pretty big bed. One big enough to fit a few Reavers and a little Fae.


    ¡°For Usete.¡± I whisper to myself. ¡°F¡­ For Awnya. That¡¯s why I¡¯m doing this. So¡­ so she doesn¡¯t have to deal with knowing someone she cares for has to¡­ to¡­¡±


    Let a trio of Reavers ravage them for soulfire.


    Crack Whip-Snap.


    I turn, head into the room, and crawl up onto the bed. By the time my back is against the baseboard the Reavers have only just decided to come to the doorway. Eyes locked on my whirling tail. Faces clearly filling with¡­ with¡­ worry? Even fear.


    I quirk my head at them, gather up and solidify myself.


    I hate them. I want to hurt them like she hurt me.


    Snap-Crack


    Memories of Thendra¡¯s conversation with Awnya slowly return to me like oozing tree sap. Of¡­ how she alluded that she¡¯d known it would happen. Almost¡­ almost¡­


    But why? Why send her after me?


    One of the Reavers finally speaks. ¡°You¨C¡±


    Crack.


    Her tail is¡­ well not small, but¡­ yeah small compared to any of my three. I don¡¯t know her name. Don¡¯t care. She was the Dreamer Blighted Cunt who slammed my head into a wall. Left me a pile of sobs after barely even trying to get a clean bite back when she fed on me all those weeks ago. Just ripped as everything bubbled up and¨C


    I don¡¯t mean to hiss. It just¡­ comes out. But she cuts off. Eyes still locked on my tails.


    What? They¡­ they seem¡­


    ¡°Come here.¡± I murmur in their horridly beautiful tongue. I don¡¯t know why I said that. But¡­ but they move instantly. As if¡­


    They pause at the edge of the bed. Glance back up. A¡­ a question?


    Huh. I¡­ Waiting for me to let any of them come closer.


    ¡°On the bed.¡± I hiss. Cold terrible hatred and malice and¡­ and cruelty in my words.


    They move without hesitation. Then just¡­ sit in front of me. Eyes so wary of my whirling tails as they dance about. Almost touch and cut and¨C


    I let one nick the soul of the largest. She flinches, growls in pain. But¡­ doesn¡¯t move or attack.


    Something clicks. A realization. Like a pack of jungle cats or wolves. Thendra on top. Bulderii beneath her, and¡­ and¡­ me at the bottom. At least¡­ before tonight. Before I killed one of them and scared off the rest.


    But¡­. but that would mean¡­


    ¡°What am I?¡± I hiss.


    The woman pauses.


    ¡°Fae.¡± She replies.


    ¡°No. To Thendra. To you. What am I?¡±


    I wait for the word. Wait for her to crush this little hope and call me a pillow¨C


    ¡°Reaver.¡±


    The word stops my heart. Brings¡­ brings the past days into perspective. My mind and soul curl and twist and¡­ and¡­ and¡­ roil into such a storm of self-hatred and fury and¨C


    Not a slave.


    An eternity of questions roll through me, and as my tendrils wrap around this Dreamer Blighted woman, I almost force her to answer them. But¡­ no. Those are for Thendra. For later. For after.


    I push myself to my knees, slowly move toward her. Get close, muscles still a bundle of fear that this is just¡­ a trap. A lure to hurt me.


    But¡­ no. The fear in those eyes is real.


    ¡°Look at me when I¡¯m talking to you.¡± I do my best to mimic Thendra¡¯s purr. It¡¯s¡­ it doesn¡¯t carry her rolling deep thrum, but the edge the soft words carry seem to make the Reaver flinch.


    Eyes flit to mine.


    ¡°No touching me unless I tell you where and how.¡± I¡¯m at her now, tails whirling and curling and getting so close to cutting her again. ¡°And you''re going to be as gentle as you can.¡±


    She gives me a slow nod.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits. She¡­ she¡¯s so fucking scared right now. Can barely keep her eyes off my tails and talons and¡­ and¡­


    ¡°Okay.¡± I huff, trying to calm my mind. Slow down the flood of euphoria as I realize just how much control I have here. How¡­ how do I even¡­


    They watch me, seem to relax a bit as my Naranggas slow.


    Eyes drift to my core, hunger bubbles within them, and it¡¯s the flashes in their eyes that make my first tail slowly wind around a soul. Images and memories of horrid feedings and helpless sobbing. Of giving my everything to these Dreamer Blighted Cunts, only to have them treat me like¡­


    They stiffen again, shift. Arms and legs begin to move and¨C


    But it¡¯s as Thendra told me. This isn¡¯t a contest of the flesh.


    It never was.


    A pair of Reaver souls, already wounded and damaged from two conflicts, rip free before their bodies can react. One slumps immediately, the other manages to get to the door before her death becomes plain.


    This is barely a feeding. I don¡¯t care to slurp more than a weeping of soulfire into my core from these blighted things. End up just¡­ tossing their broken and wretched souls to fade and rot in the corners of this room.


    The third is able to hold one Naranggas at bay while she leaps at me. Big hands clasping at my arm and face. But now my two other tails are back and around her soul. Ripping the thing free as I feel my elbow crack and jaw begin to ache from her terrible strength.


    An explosion of pain and pleasure hits as her soul is torn in two above and a wondrous rain of weeping soulflame drowns me. But she¡¯s refusing to die, eyes alight with the rage and fear of a woman who knows she is dead.


    Darkness gathers around my vision, and I hardly notice my body breaking beneath her fury while my soul baths in her sundered Amwella.


    Then¡­ oblivion. For a time.


    As feeding euphoria ends, I find myself fighting to breathe as a giant Reaver corpse crushes my little Fae form. It takes me a few minutes to wriggle free of her and look out at my work.


    All dead. The¡­ the last of Thendra¡¯s Reavers besides Bulderii¡­


    And me.

 Chapter 42: To Break a Fae

    And here we are!!! The Arc 1 final!!! there will be NOOOO delay between this and Arc 2''s start. In fact.... it''s ALL already written and just being edited for releases!


    <u>Content warning:</u>


    Threat of self-harm/suicide, The end of Arc 1


    Thendra¡¯s still awake as I arrive back in her chambers. From the aching in my arm I am certain that the last Reaver broke it before her body decided to finally die. But¡­ When I woke up it was wonderful and perfect. And as I run a talon along my face searching for scars, I find it smooth and unbroken.


    I know this could be my last night alive. That¡­ that Thendra might keep her promise and end me. But¡­ She let me kill Twital before. Seems¡­ I don¡¯t know! Awnya had called it a waste. But Thendra only purred¡­


    ¡°Was it?¡± She had asked.


    Bulderii stands across from her as they both look down over a scroll or map or¡­ something stupid. I stop just past the big doorway and look between them, Naranggas strangely calm.


    They both look up, eyes rolling over my Amwella that must sing of such recent violence. Thendra lets out a purring laugh. Jade eyes alight with¡­ with such amusement and hungry joy.


    ¡°Leave us, Bulderii.¡±


    Thendra¡¯s most trusted Reaver nods, and exits without a word.


    I wait a moment, just¡­ turn my glare up at Thendra. I stand here feeling a roiling hatred for my wretched dark goddess alongside such¡­ Well, I don¡¯t know what this is.


    I¡¯ve never felt this odd mix of emotions.


    ¡°What am I?¡± I ask her as flatly as I can.


    She smirks, dark teeth sparkling. ¡°My Little Fae.¡±


    I let my tails flail about in agitation at her willful attempts to keep me upset by avoiding the answer. At¡­ at toying with me like a large panther would a mouse. I take a deep breath, trying to slow the building rage.


    ¡°Tell me why.¡± I say after a pause. ¡°These past few days. Why did you do it? Why did you send me out to be hunted and¡­¡± I grit my teeth, push past the memories. ¡°Why did you let me butcher Twital for this tail and¡­ and then kill her? Let me kill all of them?¡±


    Thendra¡¯s smile widens at that last part. But she doesn¡¯t answer.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits, Thendra!¡± I hiss, my control slipping. Voice a mix between anger and panic and... and worse things bubbling up. ¡°Those aren''t the things you do to a slave!¡±


    She pushes off the desk, walks within range of my tendrils. ¡°If you know the answer, then why ask?¡±


    I work very very hard not to let my tails cut and bite and rip. But¡­ but as her own Amwella swirls into view, I understand just how small and helpless they¡¯d be if it came to such a contest with her. That if I were to ever try such a thing, she would simply¡­ overwhelm me. Both in flesh and soul and Naranggas. Could probably pluck my Amwella free with barely any trouble.


    ¡°Because I want to hear you say it.¡± I feel my voice begin to crack and shake as I step closer to her. Let that enormous soul wrap farther around me.


    Not in challenge¡­ but¡­ but I don¡¯t know what I mean by this!!! I don''t know what these feelings are!


    ¡°I need to hear you say it. What am I to you?¡±


    She reaches down, but¡­ stops before touching my chin. Instead¡­ Instead rests her huge hand on my shoulder.


    ¡°My Reaver.¡± She purrs.


    I fight the jolt of emotions that rise up at those words. She¡¯s a horrible Dreamer Blighted Monster!!! She¡­ she¡¯s forced me to learn songs that slowly kill me. Sent monsters to savage my body and soul!


    And now she wants to turn me into one of her¡­ her¡­


    I look down, watch as the tears fall and drip down onto the maimed talon.


    But¡­ Why does it make my heart sing!?!


    Why does it fill me with such Dreamer Cursed joy to hear her call me that!?!


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    WHY CAN¡¯T I HATE HER MORE THAN I LOVE HER!?!


    I¡­ I just¡­ fall forward. Let my head bump into Thendra¡¯s chest as a sobbing shaking mess overwhelms me. Feel the hatred and desires and pain all crash through me and begin to drown my mind and soul.


    She wasn¡¯t punishing me, she wasn¡¯t angry or upset! She was hurting me to¡­ to¡­ change me. To break and tear and mold all those old weak things into¡­ into whatever I am now.


    Still hers. Just¡­ Not a slave!


    ¡°Sing, My Lyra.¡± My wretched dark goddess purrs.


    Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits I¡­ Her command is just for a song. Any song I want. So I let it all out, let my discordant sobbing symphony roll and echo through the halls of the manor as her fingers move up to weave soft possessive patterns through my hair.


    I¡­ I don¡¯t know how long this lasts. But eventually she¡¯s wrapping big arms around me, moving hands to support my legs as she lifts me. Lets my head rest against her collarbone and neck as my own arms cling desperately at her. My song softens, and she can sense so well that it¡¯s coming to a close.


    ¡°Would you like to stop?¡± She asks anyway.


    I nod, and she purrs an end to my haunting melody. Her soul fully wraps around mine now, what seems like an endless swarm of large tendrils curl and dance with my little three as she pulls me close. Only denying her core from touching mine.


    ¡°I want to¡­ to still¡­¡± I stammer. ¡°I want you to¨C¡±


    ¡°In the morning.¡± She thrums. ¡°After your mind catches up with your soul''s healing.¡±


    ¡°Pl¨C Please.¡± I wrap myself around her tighter, ¡°Let me stay here.¡± I murmur and even sink teeth into her collarbone, but¡­ gently.


    ¡°These trials and testings are over, little Reaver.¡± She purrs. ¡°You may rest anywhere in this manor, including here.¡±


    That brings another bout of sobs as she turns to carry me into her bed.


    The spiced warmth and the wondrous pressure of my dark goddess¡¯ arms around me give a better night¡¯s sleep than I had in weeks. My legs wrap around hers as much as they can. Face and lips and as much of me as I can press into her. Even¡­ even my Amwella thrums and pulses as close as it can to her''s. Thendra had purred a warning when I first tried that, used a big tendril to push it off, but¡­ also wrapped about it with one another to hold it in a little crook of the thing.


    But¡­ eventually I do stir, and consciousness brings waking nightmares.


    Thendra must have twisted in the night, now lies on her back, arms no longer around me but up and resting about her head. And in the dark of the windowless room my mind allows bubbling horrors to tear at my thoughts. Phantom pains of clawing and biting and smothering beneath weights of monsters and angry Fae unravelings overwhelm me. I find myself falling back into a withered mess of sobs, shaking and fighting so hard to not disturb my dark goddess.


    She doesn¡¯t seem to wake, or if that isn¡¯t so she makes no motions to comfort me.


    In those moments I ache for Awnya¡¯s warmth and care and confidence. Through tears I smile at the memory of her¡­ her desire to show me the wider places beyond these dark halls. How¡­ how¡­ She still wants me to leave this place. Will fight to protect me.


    I find myself sitting up, and just¡­ staring down at Thendra¡¯s thrumming form. Visions of that dead Fae flash, and my horrible mind plagues me by exchanging that body with Awnya¡¯s.


    Of¡­ of what my dark goddess would do if she stole me away.


    Talon twitches. Unborn maggots perk up. And I¡¯m crawling, moving to straddle her waist as best I can. Then I place the three remaining digits of that talon directly over her heart.


    And I wait. Consider¡­ consider how best to protect the wonderful Fae who wishes nothing more than to help me. To¡­ to save me?


    So stupid.


    I don¡¯t need saving.


    I chose this.


    But her? She latched herself to me and tempts my dark goddess to wroth.


    It¡¯s an odd thing, how often Thendra is so unreadable to me. Even as her soul''s core brushed my own in past feedings. Maybe it¡¯s just my tired and stress filled mind. Maybe I¡¯m so broken in these moments I make up understanding where there is none.


    But¡­ as I feel her heart thrum from a quiet sleeping pulse, to a slightly increased pace that signals awareness, I allow my eyes to close and senses be enveloped by my Amwella sight. Watch as her tendrils slowly move from lazy drifting to an alert stillness, then a creeping to surround the little soulflame astride her.


    I open my eyes, and find glowing jade locked on mine. She does not speak, does not move. Not out of fear, or even curiosity. She just¡­ waits.


    Like she knows my thoughts and is simply letting me speak them.


    ¡°I need you to promise me something.¡± I whisper with a voice more steady than my previous emotional turmoil should allow. ¡°Promise me that you won¡¯t kill Awnya.¡±


    She stares up at me, and I read her unspoken words as¡­ Or?


    A steadying breath, then I threaten her with the only power I have. ¡°Or I¡¯ll make you kill me.¡±


    A long pause as I wait for her anger. Or laughter or¡­ something. Something to show me that¡­ that she understands how much this means to me. Knows that I will give my everything to keep Awnya safe.


    Twitch twitch the talon goes, almost¡­. Almost hard enough to draw blood.


    She moves then, like¡­ well I¡¯m not sure. I¡¯ve seen her go faster. But this is a simple thing, she just reaches out to grip that talon by the wrist, and pulls me down so that I¡¯m sprawled over her while keeping that arm restrained. I have to use my other talon to prop myself up and stop from smacking my face into her chest.


    Then with a slower movement, she gently takes my cheek in her other hand and pulls me up to face her.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    It¡¯s¡­ it doesn¡¯t seem like a question. More of a demand. Not soft, but¡­ not hard and cold either. Just¡­ prompting a simple answer.


    ¡°Because¡­¡± I stumble to try and find my reasons. ¡°She¡¯s important to me.¡±


    Thendra purrs, waiting¡­ waiting¡­


    ¡°Will you promise me?¡± I whisper.


    ¡°Tell me why.¡± She demands again.


    ¡°I¡­ I told you. She¡­ She¡¯s¡­¡± I stammer. But¡­ but I can''t make sense of her questions. Is she trying to convince me that I¡­ that I don¡¯t? Or that I shouldn¡¯t?


    ¡°If she were to die, even without my hand being involved, you would shatter.¡± She supplies with the same tone one might use to teach a child learning of a thing for the first time.


    I go still. Her words bring up my waking nightmares and terrors.


    ¡°So we must keep her safe and bound to you.¡± Thendra releases my chin, relaxes back. Then her eyes drift closed.


    ¡°Wh¨C what?¡±


    ¡°By curse or seduction. I care not which.¡± Thendra purrs.


    ¡°I won¡¯t curse her.¡± I hiss.


    Thendra shrugs. ¡°Her presence is a boon, regardless. So long as she doesn¡¯t steal you away.¡±


    ¡°And if she does?¡±


    Thendra opens one eye, smiles at me in such a¡­ a horrible way. Just like¡­ just like that first day in the Dreamer¡¯s Wood, then her eyes drift to my tendrils. ¡°Would you let her?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know.¡± I look away. ¡°Maybe. But¡­ not for long.¡±


    I¡¯m too tired and emotionally ravaged to care, or so I think. But when Thendra¡¯s purring laugh rolls through her and over me I can¡¯t help but tremble as she closes that eye again.


    ¡°You said it yourself. Your songs are your soul. You can no more leave them behind than live without your heart.¡±


    ¡°So if¡­ if we left for a while. You¡­ you wouldn¡¯t...¡±


    Her eyes open to look back down to me, a light warning in her tone. ¡°That would depend on the nature and speed at which you are returned to me.¡±


    I gulp. Oh. I may not be a slave, but¡­ I¡¯m still her¡¯s. Maybe¡­ maybe even more now than ever before¡­


    ¡°And consider, Reaver.¡± She purrs, ¡°Those wounds you left upon her the last time you chose to get too close.¡±


    Flashes of bleeding soulfire bubble up to consume me for a moment as I blubber out. ¡°Wh¨C what do you mean?¡±


    She doesn¡¯t answer. Simply¡­ closes her eyes and releases the talon. After enough time has passed I lay my head down upon her chest. Let the soft slow pace of her heart at rest lull me back into sleep as my mind chews and worries over her threats and words.


    Thanks so much for reading!!!!! I know this story is a mess born of the muck of my soul, but it means the world that it can be rewoven and shaped into a story to be consumed and enjoyed by others!!!


    And welcome to the end of


    Arc 1: To Break a Fae


    I REALLY hope you''ve all enjoyed reading as much as I''ve enjoyed writing it! Arc 2 will be up soon sooooo BE PREPARED!!!


    <3<3<3


    And JUST like with Sun Spoken Turn these comments are TOTALLY open to Character Q&A things alongside any other things you might be wandering!!!


    ARC 2 starts on schedule (within the week, first chapters are already done and ready to upload)!!!

 Chapter 43: Unbinding a Naranggas

    Content Warning:


    Attempt at capture/enslaving, death, mention/explanations of torture/harsh training.


    As I catch her, I slam the girl¡¯s face into the sandstone wall, hissing and annoyed. Then, as her breath leaves in a huffing gasp, I grip the cluster of horns jutting from the back of her spine and head.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits, Of all days¨C¡± I snarl as I jerk her around and drag her to the ground.


    As dust poofs and swirls around, I see the little pouch of leather plop into the floor a foot or so near her right hand. With a whisper of relief I pin a knee into the base of her spine and snatch it up. Then I lean down and hiss in her ear, ¡°Stay in the dirt until I¡¯m gone, little mouse.¡±


    I drop her head, rise, brush off the dust from my comfy dark maroon leather tunic, and turn to¨C


    Two weird robed¡­ things block the exit. Hunched lower than me and necks long they look like¡­ reptiles? Pale greenish white scales with two big eyes peek out of their hoods as they regard me. They¡¯d be kinda cute if not for the nasty twisting knives in their hands.


    But¡­ Nope. Don¡¯t want to deal with that nonsense. Probably wandering in their territory, just need to sprint the other way to avoid them. They won¡¯t chase once I cut back into the main roads.


    Bulderii¡¯s done a decent job helping me fit a map of the winding nooks and streets of Theradas into my head. Explaining how the Great powers work and when the little squabbling bands of odd groups should be ignored, fled from, or engaged. This was one of the ¡®run away¡¯ kind. Apparently they love poisons. And I hated singing venom out of my veins!


    I turn to step past the girl. But, she¡¯s moved. And a man, red skin like her with his own head of tangled horns and piercing red eyes, saunters into the alley. He¡¯s wearing a disheveled, but slightly armored, suit. My eyes dart to the gnarled seven fingers of his left hand as they toy at the hilt of a little sword still belted to his hip.


    I jerk to a pause as his ugly yellow eyes lock on mine. ¡°Hello there.¡± He says with all the joy of a snake about to snatch up a bird that¡¯s fallen from her nest. The girl is no longer whimpering and on the ground, but instead crouches glaring in my direction from his side.


    ¡°Really?¡± I jangle the pouch. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ this isn¡¯t even that much!¡±


    There¡¯s a hiss, and I glance back to see¡­ oh¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits! Very not cute! The weird snake things¡¯ long necks have separated nearly down to their shoulders to reveal rows and rows of dripping and drooling teeth.


    I grind my teeth, sigh, and turn back to the other two. Toss the pouch of coins between us.


    The girl¡¯s eyes flit to the little thing for a second, but then come back up to regard me. The man¡¯s eyes don¡¯t even leave mine. ¡°Not here for your coin, Fae.¡±


    Oh¡­ wonderful.


    He pulls something out from his back pocket, a rusty looking belt shaped¡­ thing. I don¡¯t recognise it. But¡­ I just almost¡­ almost just make out a little twisting scream coming from it.


    He twirls it around between his fingers. ¡°You will fetch a much much higher price.¡±


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­ why did I already throw the bag of coins?


    Amwella sight flickers, and I work out a few options. So the two snake souls are tiny little things, sharp bits but¡­ nothing even as scary as my first. But as for the two red ones¡­ yeah I don¡¯t like that. They¡¯re small, but have a sort of weird jittering nature to them. No sharp bits but plenty of warning signs to signify a person with some kind of weird magic.


    ¡°So how about we make this as painless as possible?¡± He muses as his eyes glimmer.


    I could¡­ well¡­


    I look to my own shrouded core. It¡¯s¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tit¡¯s they¡¯ll be so mad if I unfurl even one of my Naranggas! Thendra and I had spent hours, wrapping and curling and knotting my tails to a tight nit ball that hides my Amwella¡¯s twistings from most and keeps them well hidden and unknown.


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    ¡°Just so you know, The Matron of the Watchers is very dead. So¡­ no bounty for you to collect there.¡± I try, hoping that¡¯s who they think they''re working for.  ¡°And, Thendra will gut your souls if you push this.¡±


    ¡°If we were working for a dead woman that would be a problem.¡± He sighs, flipping the belt about a few more times. ¡°But we¡¯re not. So how about you just come with us and we can ensure your pretty little soul will¨C¡±


    I take a few bouncing steps back, and am running at the two red horned people before he can finish. He flinches, The girl has a dagger I didn¡¯t even see and is preparing for me to¨C


    Left foot to the wall, jump, right foot, jump, and on and on until I need my talons to carve into the wall to hold me up. Then I leap off the bigger wall onto the shorter of the two sandstone hovel¡¯s roof without looking back. My agility from the forest and Bulderii¡¯s training allowing me to scale the walls to the rooftops with quick ease.


    ¡®Even without your new sense, the movements of prey and predator should be plain to a Reaver.¡¯ Bulderii explained between bouts of the little game she¡¯d loved forcing me to endure. ¡®The layout of the street or building shouldn¡¯t matter, the environment is just noise. Move and act in reaction to how you would in the other position.¡¯


    And then the chase would start. Sometimes I was the one hunting, other times she would be coming for me. My tails weren¡¯t to be used, and holding them still distracted me for the first few dozen hunts. Amwella sight was¡­ fine, but ultimately very not useful when a seven foot tall Reaver was coming at my tiny frame. I¡¯d shaken my habit of triggering it during a chase unless one or both of us were allowed to use our tails and tendrils.


    If Bulderii won, she got to tackle me to the ground and scratch at my soulfire. If I won¡­ Well, I got to avoid that. And over the weeks Bulderii drug out ferocious instincts from the pit of my soul. Through training and my own late night songs I twisted and altered my form to be better at such things. I kept my size, but twisted thicker muscles and more flexibility and durability to my frame.


    I was still not a match for a Reaver if they got their hands around me, so I spent much of my energy focusing on speed and quickness and following Bulderii¡¯s advice. Predict my movements before I get so close.


    It¡¯s probably the only thing that saved me in the next moment. A whisper of magic, the little screams of that weird thing the red man was holding, and I¡¯m twisting back. H¨C how is he already up here with me!?!


    ¡°Hold sti¨C¡± He¡¯s nearly laughing as he¡¯s shoving that weird belt thing toward my neck. It¡­ it¡¯s suddenly coiling and snapping at my flesh.


    I twirl, letting the maimed talon swipe at his wrist as the rest of me drops and rolls away.


    Twitch Twitch. And the maggots are singing, Birth the rot! It nearly screams as blood coats its fingertips and the man pulls back. But I only hiss a warning and hop back a few steps.


    ¡°Dreadweave¡¯s Bane!¡± He pulls back his wrist, shakes at where the talon¡¯s have left a trio of red and bubbling cuts. ¡°You¡¯re a quick one!¡±


    But I¡¯m already running. All speed to the edge of the rooftop, jump, roll to keep my speed, keep running. But¡­ where to?


    Instincts flair again, and I duck to the side as the Dreamer Blighted thing whips that weird belt toward my neck again as he steps from a little slip of green smoke. A Riftwalk!?! So quick after the last!?!


    This happens thrice more, Dodging him is simple. He¡¯s not fast and is relying too much on those riftwalking tricks. But¡­ his face is never showing any sign of weariness or even more than a mild annoyance. Big broken toothed grins are all he flashes me as the chase continues. He¡¯s enjoying this hunt.


    I growl at the Dreamer Blighted annoyance of it. Lost my coin, can¡¯t just whip out my Naranggas and reave his soul away¡­ And¡­ How far is he willing to chase? I don¡¯t know what that weird thing he keeps trying to stick on me is, but its hissing song is a thing I¡¯ll not let touch my flesh!!!


    Then I run out of rooftop, and have to jerk to a stop as I glare down at the open ravine into oblivion. And then he pounces.


    Talons out and¨C


    But he leads with that little sword this time, and I have to pull back. Foot catches on the rim, and both arms jerk to try and balance me back to standing. Another arm flashes out, horrid belt coiling and ready to strike at my neck and flesh. Only one talon can stop it, but then that¡¯ll leave his sword arm open to¨C


    Instincts win out. Not the subtle annoyed things I¡¯ve numbed and killed when the big Reaver grinds me into the dirt and growls before she scratches a little chunk of me away. Real predators'' instinct. The things Bulderii taught me by throwing venomous desert creatures into our hunts. Horrid quick things that know nothing of training or restraint. Things I had to be willing to¡­ to strike out and kill when they appeared suddenly and with death on their teeth and claws.


    Crack Whip-Snap. A single Naranggas tail twists and rips free of the mangled mess tied around my soul. I catch his wrist with one talon, and Reave his soul clear with a single tail.


    To his credit, as the cold ache of death washes through him, he does not go limp and just die. Sword flashes, drags a soft kiss up my tunic and across my chin that almost gouges my eye free.


    But¡­ I don¡¯t even hiss as my face begins to drip with blood. I¡¯m too enraptured by the feeding euphoria of a developed soul. Something I haven¡¯t felt since¡­ since¡­


    Thoughts are a muddle as the little weird morsel is shoved between the cracks left by the tail that now dances free of my soul. Overwhelming me with shuddering warmth that I¡¯ve no idea how to ignore.


    Sooner than before my mind is flooding with horrible memories. Snarling Reavers, dying lovers, and lost family.


    ¡°Oh¡­ I¡­ But I can¡¯t shift.¡± He stammers, then pauses, face so full with confusion. ¡°How did you take that from me?¡±


    Eyes are beginning to glaze over as his body babbles its soulless words. Then there is another pop, and hiss of green smoke as the girl appears onto the roof a few feet behind him. Her eyes dart between us as he drops the horrible belt thing at our feet. I only keep his wrist in my talon long enough to ensure I¡¯m not going to fall off the edge, but when I do release it he immediately begins stumbling back.


    ¡°Sweet sister.¡± He murmurs as he falls to kneel beside her. ¡°I¡­ can you¨C¡±


    But the flooding of pain of memory is too much, and his Amwella was so small and soft. Like eating smoke. I Need to¡­ need to¨C


    Whip-Snap, and another warmth is shoved into my soul.


    She yelps, both in the cold ache of the Reaving, but also in some dead emotion as her brother dies. I barely hear her, struggle to care as I¡­ I¡­


    Warmth fades even faster with her little soul digested. Memories begin to claw up. Roiling mucky calls to vomit and wail at memories of death and flesh tasting. Of blood filling my mouth as I come so close to consuming the vibrant soul of warmth as she begs me to stop. Of¡­ of the curses, and those I¡¯ve torn from the dream.


    This¡­ this makes five. But¡­ Fae aren''t supposed to kill? Am¡­ Am I even Fae? W¨C Was I ever?


    By the time I¡¯m hurting enough to wonder at my surroundings, the two are dead. The girl lays over his chest with tears still fresh on her cheeks. Dead eyes angry and accusing.


    No. Deep breaths, and I focus on words and promises.


    ¡®Twitch Twitch¡¯ go the three remaining fingers of the maimed talon. I almost bite it off, but¡­ a little reason breaks through and pokes at my mind. Get your coin, go to the Soul drinker¡¯s house of flesh, find Thendra.

 Chapter 44: Peace offering

    <u>Content Warning:</u>


    Drugging/drinking, hangover, soul torture. Discussion of slavery and selling people.


    Her face helps me calm down as I run back across the rooftops, find the alleyway, and drop down. The pouch with my coin still rests in the dirt where I tossed it. I let out a sigh in relief as I drop it back into the side pouch of my tunic.


    No sign of the weird reptile things, so I continue on my way. I¡­ I manage to wrap my loose tail back into the shrouded bundle. But¡­ Ugh, it¡¯s shoddy. Thendra is not going to be happy about this! I move into the back alleyway beside the brothel, and scale the wall once I¡¯m sure no one has seen me.


    Once I¡¯m on the roof I walk over to the little pile of crates, reach down, and pull up the sack left for me. Then I take a few moments to change back into the sparse clothing of a slave.


    Deep breaths. This isn¡¯t you. Just a disguise.


    After I stow my attire and coin for Bulderii to pick up for me later, I open the rooftop access and enter.


    Soft warm tiled floor, dim sensual lighting, and the smells that accompany most mortal things'' sexual endeavors. I scrunch my nose, but move quickly. The servant and slave pathways I¡¯m using to rush through are slim and simple, the best path to reach her. But¡­ there are others wandering through.


    Some with food, some with the offer of their body or Amwella, most with both. All give me scrutinizing looks that make me want to¡­ to¡­ I don¡¯t know. Growl and hiss that I¡¯m not one of you! You should fear me as much or more than anyone here for your bodies!


    But before those thoughts can rise, I push aside a curtain into a decent sized room. Big soft cushions line every wall, with little tables at each. A single bottle of¡­ something sits beside a single glass on one. And the silence here is punctuated by distant sounds of movement and little cries of pain and pleasure. My eyes immediately jerk to the large charcoal skinned figure that absolutely dominates one of them with her easy lounge.


    Thendra¡¯s jade eyes roll over to meet mine. Lazy¡­ but also a bit annoyed. Almost a shout to my senses. You are late.


    ¡°Sorry.¡± I murmur and move to plop down next to her.


    After a pause, a finger reaches out to caress¨C


    I jerk back at the pain of it, look over to see a drop of blood on one of her nails. Reach up to touch my face as I remember the sword that grazed me.


    Then jade eyes glimmer with Amwella sight, and her expression darkens as they fix on my loose tail that curls around my core. Like a ruffled piece of straw pulled free of an otherwise immaculate woven basket.


    I sigh, glare down at talons. ¡°A¡­ A couple weird things cornered me. And¡­ and he had some weird magic collar and¨C¡±


    I risk a glance, and find only curiosity in her gorgeous jade eyes.


    Deep breath. Focus on the important details.


    ¡°Red skin, horns, knew I was Fae and mentioned a bounty on me. One not placed by the Matron.¡± I wind my tail as tight as I can around my core. ¡°There were also two weird snake things. I got onto the rooftops, but¡­ the red guy followed me with some kind of riftwalk. He was able to do it over and over.¡±


    Thendra purrs, but lets me continue.


    ¡°I¡­ I couldn¡¯t get away. Then he cornered me and¡­ and it was either I risked him getting the magic collar on me. Or¡­¡± I motion to my wriggling Naranggas.


    ¡°Did any survive?¡± She asks like one would consider the possibility of a sandstorm rolling down the streets of Theradas.


    I shake my head, trembling at the memory of the warm soulfire devoured. ¡°I¡­ No. At least not¡­ um¡­ The weird snake things didn¡¯t follow us onto the rooftops though. So¡­ they wouldn¡¯t have seen me. I¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I tried to keep this hidden and¡­ and I curled it as close as I could while¨C¡±


    ¡°You did well.¡±


    Her words send such a wash of relief through me. I¡­ I can¡¯t help but lean over and rest a head on her big wonderful arm. Then¡­ she surprises me. Almost causes me to yelp as I feel one of her smaller tendrils begin to whirl and curl around and through my core beneath the bound Naranggas.


    ¡°Um¡­ I thought you were expecting¡­¡± I look over toward the exit to the main passages of the brothel.


    She purrs, ¡°They¡¯ve not arrived yet, and none would fault me one last bite of my pillow slave before she is sold.¡±


    That¡­ that sends a sort of complex fluttering of emotions through me. I hate the role she¡¯s having me play here¡­ but¡­ It has to be done or¨C


    Her Naranggas grips the tip of my loose one, springs a few teeth, and proceeds to drag and yank it back through the complex bindings she woven the others into. It takes a few moments, and I know better than to struggle, but¡­ by the end I¡¯m a quivering mess of cold aching pain as she pulls her tendril free, its tip dripping with freshly absorbed soulfire.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± I blubber. Arms going up and wrapping around myself. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°For?¡± She leans forward and pours a glass of the weird liquid.


    ¡°I¡­ That¡­ Weren¡¯t you¡­?¡± I stammer as I push down the pain.


    She closes the glass bottle, holds the cup out to me. ¡°That was not a punishment.¡±


    ¡°It¡­ It sure felt like it.¡± I take the offered cup with shaking hands.


    She doesn¡¯t reply, just¡­ gives me a sidelong look as I take a short sip of the drink and¨C


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    And almost spew the foul burning thing.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s¡­ Cunt and¨C¡± I sputter, fight down the urge to vomit. ¡°Th¨C That¡¯s Vile!¡±


    No flavor, just¡­ pain. Burning, horrid pain that bubbles and roils.


    ¡°Drink it all.¡± Thendra commands.


    I consider asking an eternity of questions. Why? What is this vile drink? Does it contain blood? Why are you hurting me? Is this the punishment for messing up my tail bindings?


    But¡­ I just¡­ pinch my nose, and down the foul thing. Nearly throw up immediately, but¡­ fight to keep it down.


    ¡°Uuuuuugh.¡± I whine as she takes the cup and rests it on the table. I sort of just¡­ collapse into the back of the couch. ¡°What was that?¡±


    She says words that mean nothing to me, then adds. ¡°I would normally only consume about a third of what you just drank, else find myself¡­ dulled.¡±


    I would glare over at her in horror and anger, but¡­ ugh my¡­ My chest hurts. Head is¡­ going a bit fuzzy. So all I ask is, ¡°Then¡­ Why make me drink a full cup!?!¡±


    ¡°Because you are a terrible liar, and we need our client to believe this display.¡±


    ¡°I c¡¯n lie good.¡± I grumble through the pain and melting brain things.


    Thendra just purrs a laugh and returns to a relaxed position.


    Everything seems to be moving too fast, while my body seems to slow and¡­ and feel more of the things. Amwella sight just kinda flickers into my awareness a few times. Souls with no bodies seem to¡­ to pop in and out of my awareness. I fight to ignore it, to¡­ but my Naranggas can sense the pressure of the Amwella and make ignoring the sensory overload too much.


    The chest pain fades, but¡­ seems to leave me numb and a little warm. Even shaking every few moments.


    ¡°M¨C May I sing?¡± I plead groggily as I bring knees up to my chest. ¡°I hate this. Pl¨C Please let me dull it.¡±


    ¡°No. Your state is perfect for our deception.¡± Thendra thrums, ¡°Now¡­ remember your role and purpose. Fall into the draught, but not so much that you forget the most crucial steps.¡±


    I shake and shudder, but nod. Go quiet. I want to hate her for this, but I can only really think about how nice it would be to just¡­ curl into a very small shape and fall asleep in those big strong arms.


    Eventually the main curtain is pushed aside, and I blearily notice a figure enter. She¡¯s¡­ odd. Very pale skin with a purple tinting, and¡­ weird horns like some I¡¯ve seen in Theradas. But¡­ also with a few eyestalks. Face eyes are a glittering crimson with Smokey black running through, while her eyestalks are¡­ huh¡­ no actual eyes. So¡­ just head tendrils? Little nubs are tipped with a single tooth thing and she stands about a head taller than me.


    ¡°Ah,¡± She purses her lips as my dark goddess stands. ¡°You most definitely are Thendra of the Thirteen.¡±


    ¡°I am.¡± Thendra nods, then motions to the far couch. ¡°Tretion, Granddaughter of Watchers. Please sit, and know that I extend my hospitality to you.¡±


    She nods and does so.


    ¡°May I offer you food or drink? Of the soul or otherwise?¡± Thendra purrs as she lowers herself.


    ¡°No, but thank you. I do not intend to remain at the heart of this horrid city for long.¡±


    My dark goddess laughs, a low and humorless thing. ¡°Wise, It is not a city well known for its¡­ relaxing climate.¡±


    Tretion nods. ¡°Quite right. So let¡¯s skip the pleasantries, if such a request will not be taken with offense.¡±


    ¡°It will not.¡± Thendra nods. ¡°My offer is as it stands. I have no desire to battle any of the Matron¡¯s scions, and seek to dissolve even the notion of it. I am offering you and some of your kin her holdings throughout Theradas as a gesture of peace.¡±


    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± Tretion¡¯s tendrils shift with obvious discomfort. ¡°It¡¯s generous of you. But¡­ why? Why not sell them or offer lesser things?¡±


    Thendra shrugs. ¡°My business is not managing flesh and soul trading. I wish to keep violence as my only trade.¡±


    Tretion stiffens, but¡­ nods. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t wish to offend¡­ but¡­¡±


    Thendra sighs as she trails off, ¡°I keep my oaths, Watcher. You can speak whatever insults you like and I will not raise a hand to you, neither here nor once you leave. I never sought conflict with your grandmother, only needed to repay her treachery.¡±


    Tretion seems to pause, then meaningfully relax. ¡°Honestly, The old cunt earned her death and so much more. She was never kind to me or mine. Simply¡­ tolerated me because my mother insisted that even an eyeless half-breed was one of hers.¡±


    Thendra nods, ¡°You¡¯ve built for yourself more than most of her kin, if she cared more for results and loyalty she would still be alive.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ understand, when I refuse your offer, it¡¯s simply because I hate this city.¡± She waves an arm and two tendrils vaguely around. ¡°I wish to manage a brothel in it less than you. No matter how profitable.¡±


    Thendra drums fingers on her knee, false contemplation that I only see because I know the outcome she seeks. ¡°I still wish to offer all of her scattered family a boon from her estate. A token of¡­¡± Thendra¡¯s eyes dart to me, as if a thought interrupts her musings. ¡°Would you accept¡­ Hm¡­¡±


    ¡°If I can take this boon back to my home amidst a single riftwalk that would be much preferred.¡± Even though my eyes are still warbling I can see that she¡¯s barely even trying to read Thendra. I¡­ she didn¡¯t need to have me drink that!!! Didn¡¯t need to put me in such misery¡­


    ¡°While you may not be her most well renowned offspring.¡± Thendra murmurs, then turns back to the woman. ¡°I do consider you the most important to keep neutral. Your wealth may be¡­ tempered, but you¡¯ve survived where many of your kin would fall. Only your cousin Getrik compares, and that is because of her rage and natural abilities.¡±


    Tretion snorts, ¡°And she hated the old hag more than either of us. She¡¯ll send you a boon for ending her in such a brutal fashion.¡±


    Thendra purrs a laugh. ¡°She already has. But¡­ I¡¯m considering offering you the Fae who slew your Matron.¡±


    Tretion jerks, and there is a long pause as she just¡­ stares at Thendra.


    ¡°I¡­ word was that¡­ but¡­ Why?¡± The woman stammers.


    Thendra sighs, then looks at me. Tretion eyes follow and¡­ huh. No Amwella weight. Her gaze doesn¡¯t seem to hamper my soul in the slightest. I think even without it I would normally flinch, but¡­ ugh¡­ everything is weird and slow and I¡¯m barely even trying to follow this. Just¡­ just want to stare off into the wall and let my thoughts melt.


    ¡°Wait, this is her?¡± Tretion hisses and her face eyes glimmer when her own soul sight activates.


    ¡°It is.¡± Thendra¡¯s voice turns low, and bleeds annoyance.


    ¡°But you said she killed my grandmother?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll admit, without this little Fae my Reaver¡¯s and I could never have hoped to match her. Especially at the estate''s heart. Surrounded by her two favorite kin and allies. But now¡­¡± Thendra reaches out, and pulls me over to her. I don¡¯t resist, but it¡¯s also hard to help as my muscles refuse to unwind. ¡°She was very good with cursed songs, and adapted well at first. But I pushed her too hard in that conflict.¡±


    Tretion¡¯s eyes and even tendril points seem to focus on me now. ¡°I mean I heard the rumors. But¡­ How do you even keep her bound to you?¡±


    Thendra turns me, displaying the curse that binds my songs. ¡°This. It cannot be altered or removed to a new owner.¡±


    Tretion nods, ¡°But¡­ Why offer her to me?¡±


    Thendra tosses me into the corner of the couch with such a sudden display of anger and annoyance I can¡¯t help but let a little huff out. The¡­ whatever it was she had me drink is messing up my brain though. This is all part of her plan! Why am I starting to cry? I¡­ I know this is all a lie!


    ¡°Because she is broken! Mind a shattered wreck as shadows gather around her soul.¡± Thendra growls. ¡°Her Amwella will still offer a boon to any who wish to drink from her, and its ability to recover in the morning after even the most intense feeding is very useful.¡±


    Tretion nods and¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits she actually¡­ is¡­ is that pity she¡¯s looking at me with? Not hunger or fury or¡­ anything like that?


    I shift my focus back to the wall, huddle my knees closer. Try to¡­ to fight the random pulses of Amwella and the annoying gurgling mess that my head is becoming.


    ¡°I¡­ see.¡± She murmurs.


    ¡°In this state she cannot come with me into a conflict.¡± Thendra leans back, ¡°I would place her in one of these brothels, a luxury prize that would bring in a decent amount of coin, but¡­ As I said, I do not wish to manage such a place.¡±


    ¡°And any that could pay you well probably fear the risk of having her.¡± Tretion murmurs.


    ¡°Precisely.¡± Thendra regards the watcher. ¡°But if you take her, A gift from me to you, well¡­ None could claim I insulted you with a measly token. You received the broken weapon that laid your Matron low. Keep her as a prized pillow slave.¡±


    The word almost makes me flinch. Not a slave, not a slave, not a slave.


    ¡°But¡­¡± Tretion just stares at me with¡­ well still pity. But also worry. ¡°What of that curse mark?¡±


    Thendra¡¯s eyes glimmer, and I brace for pain.


    ¡°Lyra, sing some healing for yourself.¡±


    She¡­ she could have offered me anything! And she knows how much I hate the way that blighted drink makes me feel. But¡­ I grind my teeth, and refuse the song. All part of her plan.


    I tremble and shake, eyes squeeze shut as my head and soul scream horrid pain when the stinger bites into me.


    ¡°The curse pains her when she does not do as I bid with her songs.¡± Thendra growls. ¡°The pain is direct and harsh, a perfect punishment. And yet¡­ she will not sing for me anymore.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± Tretion stammers, real pain if her voice. ¡°You can stop her, Thendra. I¡­ I see your issues with her plainly.¡±


    Thendra waits a breath, then releases me from the pain. The watcher gulps, eyes never leave me as she watches the curse calm.


    ¡°I¡­ If you offer me this, I¡¯ll take her.¡± Tretion finally turns to my dark goddess as I slump. The drink¡¯s effects redoubled as I lose focus from the curse''s pain. ¡°And we will remain at peace. Not allies, but not enemies. I will remain neutral to any conflicts you enter into. Even with my family.¡±


    Thendra nods, and eventually stands to offer the watcher her hand. ¡°And I offer you the same.¡±


    They grasp wrists and when they pull away there''s an awkward pause.


    ¡°As an honored guest, I will instruct the keeper of this place to offer you anything you desire.¡± Thendra moves to leave the way Tretion came in.


    ¡°Kind of you, but¡­ is this building warded against a riftwalk?¡±


    Thendra purrs a laugh. ¡°No, you can leave Theradas from here.¡± Then she is gone, and I¡¯m left with the watcher.


    Tretion hesitates as her attention turns to me, then she offers a hand. ¡°Come, we¡¯re leaving this horrible city.¡±


    I don¡¯t move. Both because I¡¯m not sure I can with this moment''s choice of dizziness, but also because I¡¯m to play the part of a mind-broken Fae. I expect this to be where she shows me pain. Either with a blow or spell or¡­ well those tendril¡¯s teeth are sharp¡­


    But she only winces, then steps over to me and kneels. ¡°I¡¯m not going to hurt you. I only wish that when we shift you don¡¯t stumble.¡±


    I take a moment, enough for her to consider another option. But¡­ then I slowly and lazily uncurl myself and rise. Keep my gaze down and on the far wall.


    ¡°Alright, this¡­ this¡¯ll feel odd. But only for a second. Try to avoid getting sick.¡± She murmurs and reaches down to take my wrist gently. Then, in a wrapping of green smoke and horrid feeling of vertigo, this watcher takes me from Theradas.

 Chapter 45: The Watchers Manor

    <u>Content warning:</u>


    Hangover/sick feelings. mild discussions of slave things. Bathing.


    I would have stumbled with how much this Dreamer Blighted drink is messing up my balance, but the watcher grips my arm tight and stops me from falling.


    A second passes, gives me time to¡­ to spot the strange place Tretion has taken us.


    We¡¯re in a dimly lit cavern. It¡¯s dark, and¡­ and a bit damp. With dripping sounds I can¡¯t find the source of. There is a single big door with no handles, but it does seem to glow with a large strange rune that stings when my eyes roll over them.


    Tretion lets out a relieved sigh, then moves toward the door. I¡¯m slow and still unsure of my balance, but I let her lead me without too many issues. She holds out a hand to hover a few inches from the rune, murmurs a few words that also hurt.


    But then the door shimmers and vanishes, and we are bathed in warm light.


    Beyond are lush carpets, winding staircases, and comfortable warmth that smells of freshly cracking embers of a hearth. As she moves us inside, there is a pop, and I don¡¯t need to look back to know that the doorway closed behind us.


    ¡°Lady Tretion?¡± Comes a call from a side passage. Then a short, fairly thin and spindly woman peeks her head into the room. Hooved feet clip-clop and big floopy ears bob about as she rushes into the room. I carefully activate my Amwella sight. Her soul is small and¡­ kinda fluffy. No tendrils. Just¡­ very very little hair looking things all over it.


    The shorter woman seems very relieved as she approaches. Worry melting away, ¡°I¡¯d feared the worst.¡±


    Tretion chuckles. ¡°I¡¯m back three days before I¡¯d expected, was your worry truly such a horrid thing to bear?¡±


    The woman huffs. ¡°Well, yes, actually. Theradas is not safe¡­¡± But her voice trails off as her eyes settle on me. ¡°Did¡­ is this her?¡±


    If it wasn¡¯t for brain numbing drink, I would have jerked at her words. Her? Implying she¨C


    Tretion carefully releases my hand, turns to face me. ¡°Yes, Lenelope. This is her.¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°I¡­ well. I can¡¯t argue with their results!¡± Lenelope shuffles. ¡°Expected them to just¡­ take the initial payment and run!¡±


    Them?


    ¡°I didn¡¯t even have the chance to speak with the two a second time!¡± Tretion supplies with a surprised chuckle. ¡°The Reaver just¡­ gave her to me after I refused her first gift.¡±


    Images of the two red siblings dances in my mind for a moment.


    That makes the smaller woman balk. ¡°Wh¨C M¡¯lady! Are¡­ are you sure she¡¯s what the Reaver claimed? Are you sure she¡¯s the Fae?¡±


    I see the watcher¡¯s little wiggling blue soul focus on me. I¡­ wait. How can I see its color? And¡­ and¡­ what are they talking about? Are¡­ is she¡­ Ughhh¡­ Thinking hurts. I can¡¯t stop shuddering a bit at the pain of it.


    ¡°¨Cis shrouded in¡­ something. I can¡¯t tell what.¡± Tretion has been explaining while I recover. ¡°And her songs are¡­ well Thendra had a curse of command laid on her to seal her magic.¡±


    The smaller woman hisses. ¡°That¡­ Can it be rewoven? Made to be bound to your commands instead or removed entirely?¡±


    That does make the right talon twitch three times as I begin to waver back and forth. I¡­ I almost turn a glare down at it to force it to stop. But neither of them notice the break in my control.


    Tretion sighs. ¡°I don¡¯t know. It¡¯s¡­ Somehow Thendra got this Fae to curse herself. It¡¯s¡­¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°But that can all wait. Help Lyra here get washed, and fed?¡± Her voice changes, almost¡­ not a magical thing but¡­ shifts from conversation to a command. ¡°Be patient with her. No physical encouragement, if you please.¡±


    ¡°Should I eh¡­ well I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t get it sooner M¡¯lady, I didn¡¯t expect you back today.¡± Lenelope shifts, uncomfortable. ¡°But¡­ um¡­ would you like me to fetch you a collar for her?¡±


    I do react to that. It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s a small thing. Just a sudden stilling of my body. A tension curling around my core muscles.


    ¡°They will probably seek to place some kind of binding on you.¡± My dark goddess had explained. ¡°Such a thing can come in many forms. From simple enchantments to keep it nearly unbreakable and easily traceable to one holding its sister coin, all the way to bindings to bring great pain to the enslaved if they reach for magics or disobey simple and direct commands.¡±


    Then she smiled, ¡°But they are simply physical pains, and wouldn''t stop your Naranggas when it is time. Your songs might also dance around its bite, but even if they don''t, you¡¯ve endured worse pains to return to me.¡±


    ¡°No, Lenelope. That¡­ Of course not.¡± She huffs. ¡°That won¡¯t be necessary. She¡¯s quite¡­ calm. And with her magic bound, not a threat. The worst she might do is run and hide somewhere in the manor.¡±


    I visibly relax, and Lenelope¡¯s Amwella seems a little more comfortable as she approaches me. Holds out a hand.


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    ¡°Lyra, is it?¡± She murmurs, carefully and softly. ¡°Such a pretty name. Would you like a bath? Wash off the ucky sand and grime?¡±


    I don¡¯t reply. Mind still¡­ still trying to work out things in the fog. These two¡­ or at least Tretion, wanted me. Specifically. And¡­ and apparently hired two people in the city to try and get me before Thendra just gave me to her? Why?


    The shorter woman doesn¡¯t get annoyed or angry at my silence. Simply reaches out and gently takes up my left talon. ¡°C¡¯mon. Let¡¯s get you cleaned up.¡±


    I consider not moving at all. Wonder at testing their patience with me and¡­ and Dreamer¡¯s Tits it¡¯ll be easier to do things later if they hurt me now. But¡­ even after Tretion has left, the smaller woman just¡­ waits. Gently holds my hand and every now and again will tug at it. Maybe even murmur another encouragement after a few seconds.


    ¡°It is best you rely on silence and a meek nature to sell your role to them.¡± Thendra had suggested. ¡°Become as you might have been if I had sold you. Distraught without your songs, Closed off to the outside world to protect your mind, waiting for death.¡±


    I latch onto Thendra¡¯s words as my head starts to hurt, gurgling wobbles turned to a slowly growing throb of pain. I might just¡­ fall over if I don¡¯t find a place to sit. So I take a step. Then two. And now she¡¯s leading me through this warm estate.


    While her back is to me, I try to map things out. Count the rooms and my paces. Listen for other servants or guards or¡­ anyone. But¡­ I don¡¯t hear anything. Just the two of them then? This¡­ huh¡­ this might be easier than¨C


    Thendra¡¯s words crack like a whip in my mind.


    ¡°Her manor is an enchanted place. It will have wards and waystones and unseen protections. Do not underestimate it. Do not let any soft exterior weaken your senses. Watch for cracks in the magic, listen for odd things that should not be there. Any may warn you of danger and opportunity.¡±


    So I continue to listen for odd things while trying to keep my mind steady.


    But then we¡¯re at a doorway, and Lenelope is drawing out a big ring of keys, unlocks the door, then retakes my hand and leads me inside. Within is¡­ well it¡¯s kinda a big room with a fluffy bed, a dresser or cabinet, and an empty bookshelf and desk, and a single passageway leading into what looks to be a tiled washroom.


    As Lenelope shuts and locks the door I¡­ Ugh¡­ I almost just¡­ stumble to the bed. Soft darkness sounds wonderful compared to this warbling pain. But the short woman pulls me gently but firmly toward the promised bath. Inside is a tub that goes down into the floor.


    Lenelope drops my hand to touch a nob and starts filling the thing with steaming water.


    She turns back to me. ¡°Now, let¡¯s get those old rags off. We¡¯ll find something better when you''re nice and clean.¡±


    I hesitate. Even though my clothes are sparse and easy to just¡­ kinda¡­ yank off or out of the way, the idea of this woman touching me is¡­ well it''s unsettling for some reason. Honestly the idea of anyone touching me beyond the talon while my mind is such a flux of pain and unfamiliar sensations is revolting.


    So I let out what must be a deep breath, and begin to undress. Lenelope seems¡­ well not surprised but a little pleased when I obey without needing endless prodding. The bath is¡­ well a little warmer than I normally like, especially after time spent in the scorching heat of Theradas. But it does help my mind stop throbbing so hard as I lean my head against the chilly far wall and just¡­


    ¡°Would you like me to clean you, or are you willing to do that yourself?¡± Lenelope interrupts what would have been the beginning of a nap.


    Eyes flutter open, the idea of foreign touches sending a gurgling throb through my attempts at relaxing. So I look about, find a squishy thing and a goo in a jar that I think is soap, and start slowly scrubbing away. Thendra basically has me bathe every day, which is¡­ well it was odd to get accustomed to at first. But the promise of warmth and soothing waters sure made it easier.


    Lenelope nods, rises, and leaves the room. She takes my old rags with her, which¡­ I can¡¯t help but pause and just¡­ take that in for a second. They weren¡¯t my first pair of slave attire, but¡­ if I do this all well, they will be my last.


    But eventually I¡¯m happy enough with my work, and since the little woman isn¡¯t back, I decide to use my time well. And a nap sounds wonderful right now. So¡­ I just lean my head against the wall, and try to still the wurple of gurples in my head.


    How is my head getting worse!?! I almost whimper as I press my forehead harder against the cold stone wall. What did Thendra make me drink? How am¡­ am I supposed to even do anything!?!


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Lenelope calls.


    I grumpily open my eyes and stare down at the water.


    She¡¯s kneeling beside the tub again, a folding of clothes in her arms. ¡°C¡¯mon, I have food for after we get you dressed.¡±


    I almost let out such a deep and whimpering sigh, but rise in silence. Lenelope offers me a towel, and I dry myself. The clothes she has me dress in¡­ well they¡¯re little better than my slave attire. Thin sparse shorts and a big shirt/gown thing that falls just past my butt.


    Then we¡¯re back in the main room, and I instantly spot a tray of food waiting on the desk. A platter of oddly shaped fruits and a few steaming vegetables. I take a second to just¡­ stand over the meal. Let¡­ let my nose and ears and¡­


    ¡°Be wary of what you eat, little Reaver.¡± Thendra had tilted my chin up to regard her serious jade eyes. ¡°They may wish to¡­ test your form''s ability to handle certain mind-altering potions or foods. Things that will dull the mind and weaken your muscles. The Fae form you¡¯ve woven is durable, but not adapted to even a small number of these things. Avoid them at all costs.¡±


    The food is¡­ weird. The smell is wonderful and makes me almost¡­ I almost shove all the things in my mouth. And¡­ my nose doesn¡¯t pick up any of the things Thendra had shared with me to recognise. So I let my eyes flutter shut, and listen. Listen for the subtle weaving of odd things mixed and brewed and added to this meal like¨C


    Eyes open, dart to a trio of reddish long things amidst the pile. A¡­ a soft melody of calm and¡­ peace¡­ and other mind numbing things. A call to just¡­ listen and let others handle the stresses of life.


    Magical in nature? I... think?


    ¡°All freshly grown, no meat or anything like that.¡± Lenelope babbles as she steps past me. ¡°A few were steamed or boiled though.¡±


    A pause. Then I carefully reach out and take a cluster of little berries I recognise from Thendra¡¯s own meal room. Clutch them in my good talon for a moment, just¡­ looking off at nothing while I feel their texture and¡­ ugh. Something is wrong here too. No weird smells or songs of potions or some such. But¡­ something''s weird. And my muddled brain just can¡¯t place it.


    ¡°Oh those are nice ones.¡± Lenelope nods, ¡°Sweet, but not overly so.¡±


    I almost want to¡­ to just¡­ Ugh. Dreamer¡¯s Tits! My stomach will growl any second now, but¡­ I can¡¯t risk this!


    So I carefully place the berries back down onto the tray, and take a small step back.


    Lenelope purses her lips, the first sign of annoyance at me. ¡°Are you not hungry?¡±


    I take a few seconds, then slowly shake my head. Keep my eyes locked on far off nothings.


    ¡°Alright. I¡¯ll leave the tray here for when you change your mind.¡± She sighs, shrugs, then pulls out that ring of keys. ¡°I¡¯ll come fetch you when Lady Tretion is ready.¡±


    And then she leaves, and I hear the definitive snick-crack of a heavy lock being turned into place.


    ¡°Even when alone, assume the manor has eyes. Continue to play your role up until the final moments.¡± Bulderii had added near the end.


    Well¡­ a mind-shattered slave would probably be tired right now. So¡­ Sleep time. Should help clear my head and¡­ and help me figure things out.


    I turn and move to the bed, nearly just collapsing down atop it and¡­ and¡­


    Senses scream that something is wrong. The smells and songs¡­ even the texture of the quilts seem off. I take a step back, let my eyes cast about the room. For the first time. Take in the¡­ the weirdness I¡¯m feeling.


    It¡¯s¡­ I¡­ I almost feel like¡­


    Eyes drift closed, and I take in a deep breath, hold it. And focus through the gurgling nonsense. But¡­ nothing. There is a soft thrum of magic from this place. But¡­ nothing I could even begin to understand. And¡­


    I open my eyes to glare at the bed. Why do you have to be so weird? Why¡­


    Dreamer¡¯s Tit¡¯s! WHY!?!


    So I huff and move to the far corner, find it¡­ less off-putting. So I settle with my back between the two walls, pull legs up, and lean my head back while closing my eyes. Just¡­ listen and rest. Nothing can sneak up on my Naranggas. Like plants tilting toward the sun they¡¯ll strike out at any soul that comes within their reach, maybe¡­ maybe even tied. Should wake me up in a snap of hunger and fury if something tries to grab or hurt me.


    I don¡¯t know how long I¡¯m able to sleep, obviously not long enough to feel better, in fact¡­ I feel so much Dreamer Blighted worse! Amwella sight won¡¯t settle, and the entire room seems to¡­ to¡­ bubble with weird shapes and little soul muck things now!!!


    My stomach, despite being empty, gurgles like it¡¯ll still try to make me vomit just as a latch sounds from the doorway. I don¡¯t move, don¡¯t¡­ don¡¯t even open my eyes. Just¡­ hope that they¡¯ll see me sleeping and go away!!!


    I feel the light wash over me, and a mumble of stupid voices. Then feel that little green fuzzy soul approach, kneel before me.


    ¡°Lyra, dear?¡± She murmurs. A bit of¡­ well not confusion. She isn¡¯t surprised by this. But¡­


    I crack my eyes open, and while keeping them aimed up I try to read her and this room from the corner of my vision while seeming distant. It¡¯s not hard, because I am still in so much uncomfortable pain!


    ¡°Come with me, you can sleep later.¡± She murmurs, carefully reaching out to take up my talon.


    I don¡¯t shift, but¡­ ugh¡­ consider making her¡­ her have to force me to move. My eyes begin to flutter shut again.


    ¡°M¡¯lady would very much like to see you.¡± She encourages softly while tugging on me a little. ¡°C¡¯mon.¡±


    But¡­ the faster I deal with this¡­ the sooner I¡¯ll be back in Thendra¡¯s arms. So I crack my eyes open, and shift to struggle and rise. Fight to shove all the weird bubbling Amwella things this house is covered out of my mind. Ugh¡­ I think that drink is¡­ is making me see things that aren¡¯t there.


    But I jerk to a halt when we get to the door. Beyond is¡­ it¡¯s not the hallway! It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s another bedroom? This one is large and bright! With a big desk and more bookshelves and¡­ and¡­


    Did¡­ did they move me? Did¡­ is¡­ What in Dreamer Tit Cunt Blighted things is going on!?!

 Chapter 46: New Mistress

    <u>Content warning:</u>


    Soul torture/curse things


    Lenelope pats my hand, ¡°It¡¯s okay. The manor is magic. It can do neat things like this! Won¡¯t need to walk far to get to our Lady. Isn¡¯t that nice?¡±


    No. Dreamer¡¯s Tits NO! I¡­ I don¡¯t¨C


    Thendra words grind against my still warbling thoughts. ¡°I¡¯ve kept this manor mundane, and while my soulfire is attuned to it, know that if I had the patience for it I could turn it into a beast more horrible than any among these rifts. But¡­ only for those walking in its halls. Tretion¡¯s manor is most likely made as a mimic to what it''s weaver saw here. Be ready to adapt.¡±


    That helps¡­ helps solidify my fear and panic into a cold and pained annoyance. Then I¡¯m letting the little weird fuzzy person lead me forward.


    Tretion sits on a large couch across the room. Has set aside a huge book on a nearby table and looks up to regard me. Sparkles of Amwella sight tint her eyes, but¡­ her expression remains a calm one.


    ¡°M¡¯lady.¡± Lenelope greets, despite literally just stepping out of the room to fetch me.


    ¡°Thank you Lenelope.¡± She nods.


    The little woman nods back, and I try to focus on her with my Naranggas as she heads back to the door, closing it. Then locks and unlocks it again. Then opens to reveal a hallway. Then she heads through and closes it. Soul disappears behind¡­ a¡­ the wriggling wall of not real Amwella my sight keeps insisting is there.


    Is on everything! Coating the walls and floors and everything but the watcher herself!


    Tretion starts to say something. I ignore her, look down at the floor and focus. Try to¡­ to understand what I¡¯m seeing¡­


    The room around me seems to thrum and beat and¡­ and¡­ wait. There¡­ is there a rhythm to this pulsing? Wh¡­ is it just my thoughts trying to¡­ to put nonsense to the horror?


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Tretion calls, pats the spot on the couch beside her. ¡°Will you come sit with me? Please?¡±


    I hesitate, but do begin to move. End up sitting on the couch while staring at the ground. But what if this is all¡­ like¡­ real? What if that drink Thendra gave me isn¡¯t ruining my senses, but¡­ making them more sensitive?


    "I... Lyra you''re safe here." She reaches out, touches my chin. ¡°I mean to treat you well. Okay?¡±


    Then she''s pulling me gently, but insistently, to face her. I keep my eyes carefully focused past her. ¡°When was the last time you performed an Amwella dance? Not¡­ not whatever it is the Reaver¡¯s do. But¡­ Like you probably did with other Fae?¡±


    That jerks my focus to a halt as my flubbering mind suddenly drowns me in haunted golden amber eyes and painful goodbyes.


    Awnya rubs the back of her neck, looks away to cover the lie.


    I barely notice the tears as they fall, and end up pulling away from this woman¡¯s touch. For a moment I worry that she¡¯ll get angry at that. But¡­ no. Just lets a few long moments pass before¡­


    ¡°Is that why your soul is dying?¡± She whispers very softly.


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    That snaps me from the painful memories. I don¡¯t wipe the tears. Need to use them. I let a long few seconds pass, then give a small shrug. Could almost be perceived as a twitch for someone not paying very very close attention to me.


    ¡°The¡­ the shadows.¡± She murmurs. ¡°They started forming after the Matron died, correct?¡±


    I don¡¯t answer.


    Thendra had laughed. ¡°Silence is a better lie than anything you can weave with words. Let your prey form worse truths to blind themselves with!¡±


    She lays a hand on my left talon. Considers her next words for a few moments. ¡°You won¡¯t be the first slave to choose death over bondage. Especially¡­ especially in Theradas. But¡­ I would very much like to keep you alive.¡±


    Slave. I don¡¯t stop the shudder at the word. Let it add to my fa?ade. The Amwella around me bubbles and curls and fucking even starts making little¡­ ugh¡­ popping sounds. I really don¡¯t want to start hearing Amwella.


    Why does this keep getting worse!?!


    ¡°And... I''d like to help. To... to start by dealing with your soul¡¯s problems before they can get worse.¡±


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­


    Finally!


    Then she¡¯s pulling me, gently, but¡­ without any semblance of choice. She¡¯s bigger than me. Not¡­ not like Thendra or a Reaver, but it¡¯s not really hard for her to pull me up to her lap. Hands wrap around me and pull my head to rest on her chest. Just in the spot over her heart.


    ¡°Just¡­ listen.¡± She murmurs, then when it''s obvious I¡¯m not going to try and pull away, she reaches up to cover my eyes. ¡°Focus on my Amwella, Lyra.¡±


    A long pause as... as my mind tries to understand what she''s...


    ¡°Can you feel it?¡± She whispers, lets a few more heartbeats bump through us. ¡°Don¡¯t you want to taste that again?¡±


    Yes. Weariness dulls a little. As my soul remembers what euphoria that fire brings when I rip and tear and¨C


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you starving?¡± Her big weird head tendrils curl around me a little. ¡°I think you¡¯d like being mine. And as mine you can have as much of that as you like.¡±


    I can¡¯t stop a shudder as my Naranggas writhe against their bindings as her soul pulses alongside her words.


    ¡°See?¡± She chuckles, misunderstands the things she¡¯s seeing within my soul. ¡°Your Amwella is growling louder than your empty stomach.¡±


    I let out a long sigh.


    ¡°C¡¯mon now.¡± She coos. ¡°You¡¯ll be a much happier slave with me than with Thendra.¡±


    I jerk, almost¡­ almost¡­ let out a hiss.


    Not.


    A.


    Slave!


    She loosens her grip a little, surprised at the sudden and very real show of emotion that was.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits!!! Before I mess up again I tilt my head up to nuzzle the big weird ladies neck. It¡¯s¡­ odd. Scaly and cold like Voe¡¯s¡­ Ugh¡­ Don¡¯t think about her.


    Or¡­ maybe I should? Might make this easier...


    Tretion lets out a little sigh of relief, then moves hands to my back. Begins to rub circles. ¡°You¡¯ve probably wanted this for so long, haven¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°Can you do it, Little Reaver?¡± Thendra had purred that night after I¡¯d begged for hours and hours. ¡°Earn this boon you ask for?¡±


    Before Tretion''s cold hands can consider more I¡¯m twisting. Drawing myself around to straddle her. Let my lips nibble at the cold scales while the right talon moves up to touch her neck.


    Such¡­ desire and hunger and fury in her jade eyes as my dark goddess loomed over me. ¡°Can you walk the old road of Furthonois?¡±


    Twitch Twitch. Warmth and desire begin to build¡­ causing a wonderful rumble of hunger to roll up through me.


    ¡°Good girl.¡± Tretion¡¯s big cold hands move up under the big shirt and along my legs. ¡°But¡­ You can take your time. There¡¯s no need to rush into¡­¡±


    The curse stings as I use my rumble to form the foundation of the song I weave, and I feel Blood dripping from my eyes as I push through the blighted pain of my curse¡¯s bite. Summon up all my horrid Fae words. Fear, Pain, Spite, and The Melody of The End.


    I pull back and let my eyes meet hers then. And I watch a soft brow furrow in confusion as my Naranggas snap free of their bindings, unfurl into a display of soul drinking death around us.


    Then they¡¯re wrapping around and around and around¡­


    ¡°Wh¨C¡± She starts to stammer. Horny stupidity rotting into fear quicker than she can blink.


    Naranggas squeeze her soul tight as teeth erupt, gouge deep furrows. And as the maimed talon digs a bloody brand into her neck I stare flat cold hunger into her eyes.


    A near perfect curse. Only¡­ only missing a few rotting things to make it as wondrous as¨C


    The pain in her is too deep for a scream, only a drowning grunting gurgle can escape before my curse is complete. It¡¯s symphony only made better with the final notes of my screeching Lamentation.


    Rot maggots writhe from Naranggas and talon and gaze to burrow deep into her Amwella.


    You will follow all my (Lyra¡¯s) commands


    You will die when I (Lyra) die.


    She does scream then.


    And I can¡¯t help but let her as I fight the deep urge to just¡­ feed. Her soulfire gushing and dripping and tasting sooooo¡­


    ¡°Be quiet.¡± I hiss as I yank my Naranggas free of her. Can¡¯t repress a shudder as I squeeze my eyes shut. Caught between pain from the curse and a deep grumbling hunger for this watcher¡¯s soul. ¡°B¨C Be still.¡±


    She jerks in pain and¡­


    and¡­


    And¡­


    AND I HEAR the blighted rot maggots as they feed on this watcher''s soul! The brand carved on it weeps and bubbles with such delicious Amwella.


    I almost lose control of my breath then as the sound fades. Leaving me with only the horrible little pops and dripping coming from this manor. Through fast and wheezing breaths I let out a long and angry hiss.


    A sound demanding everyone just... BE QUIET!!!


    The manor and her both go silent as my maggots settle and nuzzle deep. And I finally open my eyes.


    She¡¯s stiff as death. Eyes wide with horror and confusion as they roll about the room in a sort of madness that only those who¡¯ve experienced the feeling or being caught between soul crunching agony can know.


    I growl as I reach up to wrap that bloody maimed talon around her jaw, pull myself up to force this watcher to meet my gaze again, and words spill out before I know what I am saying.


    ¡°You are mine. Always and Forever. Or at least until this wretched dream ends.¡±

 Chapter 47: The Heart of Things

    <u>Content Warning:</u>


    Death/soul eating. Soul torture. Imagery of a big gross internal organ... thing.


    I pull back from the watcher and glare about the room and all the bubbling half-real Amwella things that wriggle and pop from the walls. My Naranggas snap and cut at it a few times but¡­ nothing comes of it. No warm soulfire.


    I sigh, still in pain and annoyed and¡­ and still dealing with gummy bloody eyes and face. So I take a second to pull up this slave shirt and wipe it away as best I can. After a moment I hear a click, a sign that someone is¡­


    I dart to hide behind the door as it opens, Naranggas pulled close and still.


    Lenelope rushes in, gaze immediately locks onto her mistress.


    ¡°Lady Tretion!?!¡± She yelps then stammers as she rushes over to the stone still watcher, ¡°Is¡­ is something¡­What¡¯s wrong!?! Where is¡­¡±


    By the time she¡¯s turning I¡¯m already on her, wrapping her soul in death.


    Warmth floods me as I drink in her weird fluffy little soul. Have to¡­ to step back and¡­ and¡­


    She doesn¡¯t even get out another word before she dies, no soulless body struggles like the red-horned things. Just¡­ kinda slumps and is still.


    I shudder and shiver and bask in the wonderful euphoria I could not indulge before. Naranggas curl and whirl around me in a soul hug as we embrace this amazing sensation! Feel our body and head and¡­ and everything bubble happily as if submerged in the best bath.


    But then¡­ then it¡¯s fading. Old muck and rot rises back up. And I can¡¯t stop a little sob as I¡¯m dropped into¡­ into¡­


    Huh?


    This isn¡¯t so bad. I almost let out a relieved cry at the lack of horrid aftershock I remember after all my other feedings. I look up and around, but carefully. Try to¡­ to understand what¡¯s different about this feeding?


    Then it hits me. No¡­ no pain! No floaty mind or tummy bubbles or¡­ Well I mean the Dreamer Blighted walls are still being weird. But¡­ it¡¯s just popping and gurgling. Doesn¡¯t seem to mind that I just cursed its mistress and ate her little servant.


    I guess¡­ Wait! That¡¯s right! Soulfire can help me heal faster!


    I can¡¯t help but¡­ but let out a giggle at how amazing this sudden loss of horrible pain and mind problems are! I haven''t felt this amazing since Awnya¨C


    The thought of her jolts me to a halt. Sours my mood. Makes me remember my promises.


    I turn to glare at the watcher. ¡°You¡¯re not to perform any magic without my permission. But you may speak so long as it¡¯s quiet.¡±


    Tretion is just kinda¡­ slumped on her couch. Head back and staring just almost directly upward. Her mouth opens, lets out a huff of air.


    ¡°W¨C Why?¡± She whispers.


    I pause. Confused. ¡°Why¡­ What?¡±


    ¡°She¡­ Thendra. Why did she break her word?¡± She hisses softly. ¡°Why send you here to¨C¡±


    I snort. ¡°I¡¯m not Thendra¡¯s, remember?¡±


    She grinds her teeth. ¡°She lied! Said you¡¯d not sing for her! Said your mind was... was wounded and broken!¡±


    I step past the dead servant and move to straddle Tretion again, have to really stretch to make her eyes meet mine. ¡°Does it matter?¡±


    ¡°If¡­ if word gets out her oaths are worthless. She¡¯ll¨C¡±


    ¡°You will never lie to me.¡± I purr. ¡°You will never try to lead me to believe something false.¡±


    She chokes, eyes go wide as my little maggots nibble, then rest.


    I nod, ¡°Now tell me, What are you to m¨C¡±


    I freeze, have to glare past her as¡­ as the words won¡¯t come. As I picture Thendra holding Voe aloft and demanding the same.


    And¡­ and I can¡¯t do it.


    ¡°You¡­ Lyra you¡­ you don¡¯t want to do this.¡± Tretion whispers, eyes pleading.


    My rot maggots don¡¯t move. I hiss, turn back to glare at her.


    ¡°But you did.¡± I growl. ¡°Wanted to bind me and use me and¡­ and keep me as your little pillow slave, right?¡±


    She hesitates.


    ¡°Answer me.¡± I demand.


    ¡°Yes.¡± She whispers, face suddenly a wash of¡­ shame? ¡°B¨C But Lyra! I meant what I said! I wanted to help! I¡­ I would have treated you well! Better than Thendra ever did!¡±


    The rot maggots sleep happily. I growl¡­


    Her truths are¡­ annoying. And I don¡¯t want to consider what monsters think of themselves better or worse than my dark goddess.


    ¡°Not a slave.¡± I huff very quietly, then quirk an eyebrow at her. ¡°Buuut¡­ Speaking of kind monsters¡­¡±


    Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.


    I tap her chest, right where she forced my head to lay, directly above her heart and soul. ¡°Those little soul munchers are pretty bad ones. You might want to consider how best to keep them happy.¡±


    She winces as the still bloody talon draws a line up and over the still raw curse mark. ¡°How do you think we can do that, Tretion?¡±


    ¡°By obeying you.¡± She replies quickly. ¡°Of course.¡±


    I sigh, really relieved I don¡¯t have to explain all the annoying little details. And¡­ and not having to worry about hurting her with my commands to much. Not like¡­


    Beloved sibling.


    I drag myself off her as my Naranggas go a little wild at the bitter memories that itch at my mind.


    ¡°You may move again, but will follow me and never act in a way that can hurt me.¡± I sigh. Sense her scramble to follow immediately, only cause my maggots to sort of¡­ wiggle in those little seconds to give her time to move. I twitch at that. At¡­ at how her curse gives her the benefit of the doubt. Where mine¡­ mine just bites and tears the second after a command is spoken or disobeyed.


    I look about for a moment¡­ Considering¡­


    How would she react to this? To¡­ to my plan? To how I¡¯d decided to try and do this? She promised that my use of songs wasn¡¯t just okay, but expected.


    ¡°Can¡­ Can I help you with anything?¡± Tretion whispers.


    I slowly turn to glance back at her. She¡¯s kneeling beside Lenelope, looks¡­ well not sad but¡­ contemplative as she brushes the little woman¡¯s eyes closed. Adjusts her to lie more comfortable on the rich carpet. Bubbles seem to curl and cuddle around the small dead woman. Tretion''s head tendrils whirl about in a sort of... careful searching motions before returning back to sit close to her face.


    That¡­ What was that tone there? She¡¯s not angry or¡­ or even really afraid anymore. Just¡­ UGH!!!


    ¡°Sorry, just¡­ you seem quite¡­ lost.¡± She shrugs when I only stare in confusion at her words and actions.


    ¡°What are you planning?¡± I demand. ¡°Tell me.¡±


    She lets out a huff with a bit of exasperated smile. ¡°I¡¯m planning to try and avoid pain and death.¡±


    The maggots don¡¯t bite.


    ¡°Be specific.¡± I growl.


    ¡°There isn¡¯t much else to it!¡± She chuckles nervously. ¡°Your curse is¡­ quite solid. And¡­ and if I understood it correctly you¡¯ve bound my life to yours. If you die, I die. So¡­ keeping you from stumbling into that sounds like a great way to do both!¡±


    I look away. ¡°Okay.¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°Okay?¡±


    ¡°Tell me about your manor.¡± I motion to the walls. ¡°Starting with¡­ with what is all this weird bubbly Amwella on everything?¡±


    ¡°Bubbly Amwella?¡± She stammers, head tendrils wiggle and bounce a bit as she nibbles on her cheek for a second to¡­ is she suppressing a smile? ¡°You¡­ well I don¡¯t really know for sure, but If I had to guess you''re seeing the magical energy of the manor.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ You can¡¯t see it?¡± I turn back to her. Fighting down a blush at how stupid I must sound.


    She shakes her head, working hard to reign in her emotions and still herself. ¡°Not without certain tools, spells, or potions. And I wouldn¡¯t describe them as¡­ bubbly.¡±


    I growl. Remember the foul thing Thendra had me drink. Wonder¡­ Yeah that was probably what¡¯s making me see all this. But then why did she not just tell me what it would do!?!


    ¡°It should be quite harmless!¡± She says while raising both hands at my annoyance. ¡°Just¡­ extensions.¡±


    ¡°Of?¡±


    She huffs, motions around as she rises. ¡°Of the Manor¡¯s soul or¡­ or where it could be if it wanted to. I¡¯m trying to keep this simple for you. It¡¯s complicated and involves less chance of death for both of us.¡±


    I chew on her words. Think about my objectives and how best to grasp them. But if this watcher will just¡­ help me. Then¡­


    ¡°Take me safely to its heart.¡±


    * * *


    *


    Oh¡­ OH Dreamer¡¯s Tit¡¯s this place is weird. Tretion had taken me from a pretty manor covered in weird bubbles through a passageway and door that suddenly was just¡­ like¡­ all bubbly mess. Stuff seems to come up to my hips, while still being very untouchable. Even to my Naranggas.


    Ahead by about a dozen or so feet is a wall like the ones in the damp entryway, and on that wall is a¡­ uh¡­ thing. Purple and red and pulsing and wriggling and really really gross.


    ¡°Eck.¡± I can¡¯t help but say after a few moments of staring.


    ¡°Yes, very Eck.¡± Tretion agrees. ¡°I try to avoid fiddling with things here. It¡¯s¡­ temperamental. Just barely bound to me. It took me years to get it to even let me set up the keys you now hold.¡±


    I glance down to the ring of big disparate keys she¡¯d given me. Twelve in total.


    ¡°How did you do it?¡± I ask, content to wait outside the room until I know exactly what to do.


    ¡°Lots of trial and error. It doesn¡¯t understand any modern tongues, and the old things it does understand it loves to ignore.¡± She huffs. ¡°So¡­ you can imagine how impossible it was to even know what commands would work and which wouldn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°How can it be a command if it can just¡­ ignore it?¡± I turn to glance up at her.


    She looks away, suddenly¡­ very much careful with her words. ¡°I don¡¯t know for sure.¡±


    I hiss. ¡°Tretion, why are you avoiding being truthful with me?¡±


    She winces, ¡°Two reasons. First is I don¡¯t want you to fiddle with something you don¡¯t understand. I think this is a bad idea and want to steer you from it. Second is that It gave me a fleeting idea on how I might be able to resist you if needed.¡±


    I quirk an eyebrow. ¡°By just¡­ trying to ignore me? Plug your ears and¡­ what? I¡¯ve already set boundaries that would stop you from doing much.¡±


    She smirks then, head tendrils wiggling about in sudden¡­ I don''t know! Excitement? ¡°Exactly, which is why I quickly discarded the idea. Your commands seem to weave together well. And they are very flexible when you demand something, but rigid when I¡¯d like to wriggle around technicalities.¡±


    I tilt my head, studying her. ¡°Then why are you smiling? That¡¯s a bad thing for you.¡±


    Tretion lets out a... a sigh. Like she''s decided to let something heavy fall away. Her smirk doesn¡¯t falter as her eyes flit back down to me, eyes still alight with Amwella senses. ¡°Because, Lyra, you¡¯re cute and clever and I¡¯m enjoying watching you try so hard to figure all this out.¡±


    I flinch. Feel my mouth open and close as heat rises on my cheek.


    ¡°Wh¨C what!?!¡± Is all I can hiss out. But it comes out a little shrill.


    Her smirk turns to a grin, head tendrils curling in odd patterns. ¡°You asked. You¡¯re like an adorable jungle kitten on her first hunt. And that¡¯s¡­ more comforting than what I feared you were. Less cruel or¨C¡±


    I fight down the blush, growl then. Let my Naranggas whirl out and around her. ¡°I could kill you in SO many ways right now Tretion. Was ready to if my curse didn¡¯t take, or you cut off my song.¡±


    No more than a twinge of worry touches her eyes. She seems... almost expecting or... or almost anticipating me to hurt her. ¡°I wasn¡¯t meaning to imply you aren''t one of the most dangerous young women I¡¯ve ever had the pleasure to encounter.¡±


    That stutters me again, but I manage to give her a hard glare. ¡°Then what did you mean? Precisely.¡±


    She sighs, eyes flitting to follow my Naranggas movements. Not in fear though, just... curiosity? Even her head tendrils seem to try and follow along with their movements.


    ¡°You¡¯re not a monster. You¡¯re¡­ you can be cruel, certainly. But it¡¯s not really you. Thendra¡¯s a monster, her Reavers are monsters, I¡­ I¡¯m not sure what I am. But you¡­¡± Eyes turn down to regard me. ¡°You¡¯re not one. At least not yet. You don¡¯t enjoy causing people pain, not really.¡±


    I have to turn away as my traitorous little maggots don¡¯t refute her words.


    ¡°No¡­ But¡­ I have to do this.¡± I murmur as her words ring true. ¡°I¡¯ve had to do a lot of¡­ of horrible things to survive.¡±


    A pause.


    ¡°I know.¡± She whispers back, head tendrils slumping a bit. ¡°Me too.¡±


    A longer pause.


    ¡°Just¡­ keep the door open.¡± I demand. ¡°This won¡¯t take long.¡±


    I hope.


    And I turn to move, but a hand reaches out to touch my arm. I jerk back, Naranggas flaring back out in sudden fear.


    Tretion holds her hands out, palms up. ¡°Sorry. Sorry. Just¡­ You should take me with you. That thing hates strangers and barely puts up with me. If you go in alone it might just decide to mush you between the walls or something.¡±


    I huff. ¡°Fine, ignore the last command. Just¡­ don¡¯t touch me.¡±


    She nods, and we wade through the uncaring bubble mess to approach the weird blob on the far wall. It¡­ it really does look like just a glob of some internal organ got splattered here!


    Ugh. Eck!


    ¡°Okay, so¡­ What are you trying to make it do? How can I help?¡± She prompts as we approach.


    ¡°You can¡¯t.¡± I step up to it. Shut eyes and focus my¡­


    WHAT!?!¡­ How did she lie to me!?!


    ¡°Tretion.¡± I turn back to her, a glare on my face as I stare at her core. ¡°Where is this thing¡¯s soul?¡±


    She takes a step back. ¡°Oh¡­ You¡­ it¡¯s kinda everything in here. I can kinda see it when I¡¯m in the room like this. Just a big mess of slopped and gathered Soulwaste.¡±


    ¡°Soul¡­ What?¡± I drop my glare, look around.


    ¡°Soulwaste. It¡¯s¡­ uh¡­ soul bits that are kept from fading once their host dies.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ but¡­ this is its soul!?!¡± I rake a few Naranggas through the floor and the big blob. Nothing happens, no resistance.


    She wriggles her hands and tendrils in a so-so gesture. ¡°When it wants to have one. Otherwise it¡¯s happy to just¡­ sit there. Sometimes do the little things I ask.¡±


    I slump. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡±


    How am I supposed to get this to work!?!


    My Naranggas must flail around in such anger, because Tretion takes a step back. ¡°Um¡­ Lyra. I¡­ If you need time we can go sit down. Talk through what you need from it and form a plan on how best to get it. I really do mean to help you as much as I can.¡±


    I turn to glare back at the blob. Raise twitching right talon to rest on it. It¡¯s¡­ Oh that¡¯s weird. It¡¯s way too warm. Like¡­ like a steaming mug or¨C


    A little eye pops open next to my talon.


    ¡°Uh¡­ Lyra...!¡± Tretion calls, a good amount of panic in her voice.


    Oh! Oh I can work with this! I grin at the eye as it rolls about, then turns to gaze up at me.


    I take a few deep breaths, then gather up my Amwella. Prepare my words, and sing a curse at this thing as I twist my talon to carve a blood brand into its weird overheated flesh.


    The curse bites deep, but I force my way through the song and pain.


    I expect¡­ something. A struggle or a shaking of the manor. Maybe darkness like what Thendra could do at her home. But¡­ it just stares back at me. Expressionless.


    Maggots fall from my fingers to writhe and wriggle and swim through the bubbling mass of Soulwaste at my feet.


    PERFECT! My heart sings in triumph and victory.


    You will obey all of my (Lyra¡¯s) commands.


    It continues to stare as my song fades and blood drips from my eyes.


    ¡°Okay¡­ Okay¡­¡± I huff out. ¡°I¡­ Take me to the vault, disable all the traps, open the main chest.¡±


    A pause. My maggots begin to nibble and spread and¨C


    No.


    Then I watch in horror and disbelief as the Soulwaste around each of my little maggots just¡­ rots. Fades like I¡¯d seen Voe¡¯s soul chunks do, takes my cursed things with it. When I jerk up to stare at its flesh bits, I get to also watch as my cursed mark just¡­ kinda pops. Like a bad scab it bleeds for a moment, then falls away.


    Oh¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits!


    Then¡­ there is another pop, and a second eye appears.

 Chapter 48: Impossible Demands

    BIG 4k word chappy because no good way to cut it in half and keep the flow. So... Enjoy THAT!


    <u>CW:</u>


    Bubbles getting angry and almost drowning people. Discussion of slavery in Theradas. Head tendril WIGGLES!


    ¡°Lyra!¡± Tretion¡¯s voice is shrill. ¡°You¡­ you should leave. Now. Let me try to calm it and¨C¡±


    A third eye pops open, then a fourth.


    I let my Naranggas whirl around me as a hiss rises from my lips. Turn to glare down at this big ugly thing. Can¡¯t run. I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m too deep to get away!


    A fifth and six and then uncountable legions of them. All different colors and shapes. Then, with a slurp, a BIG one pops open to regard me.


    ¡°Lyra!¡±


    I ignore her in the silence following the fading echo of my hiss.


    All eyes seem to glimmer and roll up and down my body, a few move to follow my twirling Naranggas. Then there is a¡­ a low rumbling growl that rolls through the manor. Not loud, just¡­ deep and big and¡­


    Then all the Soulwaste begins to glow and writhe. I don¡¯t move, but when the stuff begins to crackle and pop and hiss I know what is happening before my legs are pinned still in a sudden mound of very solid material.


    Twitch twitch. Goes the right talon. Rot maggots grumble and perk up.


    The eyes seem to¡­ to narrow. Almost into a glare. Then, before I can think to move or hiss or attack, I am being slid across the floor.


    A yelp escapes my lips as the mound of bubbling crackling Soulwaste slams me into the cold stone wall. Naranggas go wild, now able to carve and bite and tear at the horrible stuff. But¡­ but I''m like a panther trying to attack the forest floor. It''s too hard and uncaring to even be wounded!


    I hiss and growl and struggle, pushing through another curse¡¯s sting as I carve into the Soulwaste. Weave a couple new Laments to try and¡­ and¡­


    You will obey all of my (Lyra¡¯s) commands.


    A beat, the bubbling continues to wrap and writhe up my belly, shoves me up the wall so my feet aren''t touching the floor anymore.


    ¡°Stop! Put me down!¡±


    No.


    The curses wither and fade, faster than before. Tretion is yelling something, trying to pull herself free of the bubbling floor that now pins us both. Words that don¡¯t make sense and hurt my ears to listen to.


    I continue to sing. Weave six more clutches of rot maggots into the bubbling mass, six more curses drip into the Soulwaste alongside the blood gushing from my eyes and mouth.


    And again¡­


    NO.


    The horrid warm mass of Soulwaste is up to my breasts now, moving up my body with the slow killing regard of shifting sands. The next time talons and Naranggas strike, the bubbling mass parts to let them enter, then solidifies on them, pinning them in a vice as hard and steady as any stone or metal.


    My songs jitter and twist from useless curses to¡­ well I¡¯m not pleading. But¡­ but I can¡¯t help but just¡­ channel my helpless sorrows into my wailing melodies.


    The Soulwaste is around my throat, and I know then that if it gets around my mouth I will drown as surely as if sand or water engulfed me. Tretion is screaming now. Strange horrible language tinted with a maddened mess of pleading and begging.


    I accept the curses sting if it means I can weave one last song of home and love and regrets and¨C


    The Soulwaste curls around my Amwella then, and I can¡¯t stop a whimper from mingling with my melody as its warm mass closes around me like one of Thendra¡¯s big hands around my neck.


    Pl¨C Please. Forgive me. I close my eyes, and focus my last thoughts on that of Beloved Sibling and Awnya and mother and¨C


    Everything jerks to a halt. Soulwaste just on the verge of yanking my Amwella free while the rest smothers most of my body.


    I blearily open my eyes, let the song quiet a bit as I glance down to see every eye on the thing staring at me.


    Wide and glimmering and¡­ and¡­ somethings.


    Tretion calls out in more of that weird language. A low rumble is the manor¡¯s reply.


    ¡°Um¡­¡± She whispers in words I can understand. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t¡­¡±


    Another low rumble, then the bubbles snap and go back to being a lifeless mass. Causing me to slump onto the floor. In a choking gasp I end the song. Spit blood and bile and fear onto the cold stone floor.


    ¡°Why?¡± I croak. ¡°Wh¨C Why did it stop?¡±


    Tretion has moved up to kneel beside me, hands and tendrils fluttering around, but remaining a few inches away at all times. Whispers. ¡°I¡­ Well I think it liked your final song.¡±


    A blubbering sob escapes me at the memory of the sad thing. I look up to glare at the big ugly mass of eyes and flesh and¡­ and¡­


    Is¡­ is it crying?


    I glance over to ask Tretion a question, but am stopped short as I see her own tears. ¡°Wh¨C What¡¯s wrong? Why¡­ why are you both crying?¡±


    She sniffles, furiously wipes at her eyes. ¡°Your song¡­ it¡­ Dreadweave¡¯s Bane it was¡­ was really something.¡±


    I don¡¯t know how to react to that. It¡­ it was just a final sobbing thing.


    ¡°You¡­ It seems really interested in you right now.¡± She murmurs carefully. ¡°I¡¯ve only ever seen the big eye open once, and it was¡­ well about as pleasant as what just happened.¡±


    Fighting to rise, I approach the big blob. Tretion hovering behind me in obvious worry.


    ¡°Can¡­ Can you let me into the vault?¡± I ask with a whisper.


    A discordant wave of blinks is my only answer.


    The watcher supplies. ¡°Maybe¡­ maybe try asking with songs?¡±


    I grind my teeth and look down to my own core. Bruised and scarred, weeping a little soulfire from the fresh wounds my curse inflicted. But¡­ but enough to survive a little song.


    A sigh, and I¡¯m enduring pain to weave a melody of pleading. Asking in song for the boon Thendra demanded of me while apologizing for hurting the manor. Try to¡­ to explain why I need this. To force such complex nonsense into a song is hard, but¡­ maybe I can¡­


    Another rolling wave of blinking, a low¡­ well it doesn¡¯t seem like a growl. Just¡­ just a little burping reply. Then some of the Soulwaste furls and hardens inside my left talon, and when I glance down I find an odd shaped key. One that looks¡­ well it looks to be shaped of seashells.


    Eyes wide I jerk up to look at the big thing. Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t help but lean forward and hug its big warm mass before I can consider if that would be a bad idea. Weave a stammering thanks within my song just before I end it.


    The manor rumbles¡­ seems to¡­ to purr?


    I pull away, and the eyes seem¡­ well¡­ I don¡¯t know how a mass of eyes and blobby things can seem happy. But everything seems so much calmer and loose and¡­ and like it¡¯s relaxed.


    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.


    I pat it above the big eye, and murmur a little thank you to it before turning to leave.


    Tretion is just¡­ staring down at me. Tendrils very very still. Face such an odd mixture of¡­ things. A lot of things. Most of them I do not want to see. And as our eyes meet I can help but feel a stuttering in the plans I was just beginning to form.


    ¡°Are¡­ What is it?¡± I ask. ¡°Is this not the right key?¡±


    She swallows, hard. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know. I was never aware of a vault.¡±


    ¡°Then¡­ What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°Lyra, I am so sorry.¡± She whispers. ¡°For¡­ For everything. For treating you like a¨C¡±


    Her apology makes me flinch, I glare away as I move past her, and try not to think about how this will probably end for the watcher. ¡°Let¡¯s just¡­ Go.¡±


    The ¡®vault¡¯ is honestly just a slightly musty smelling room. One filled with shelves stacked with all sorts of oddities I don¡¯t care to fiddle with or think about. Especially when a few seem to hum with little wailing cries.


    So I go straight back toward a desk with a single big chest on top of it. The bubbles around it pop and crackle and¡­ huh¡­ well that¡¯s nice of the manor. I can¡¯t help but smile a bit as the lid is pulled open as I approach.


    And inside is just a single simple pillow, with a ring sitting in the middle. I reach in and pull it out.


    Silver band, a few sapphire gemstones, and a big dull gray rock at the center with a slit carved down the middle. I clutch at this thing as I turn. Tretion has barely gotten half-way through the room. Her eyes wide and wandering at all the little things that are stored here.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± I prompt, begin moving.


    Her eyes and tendrils dart toward the talon that holds the ring. ¡°Really that¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s it?¡±


    ¡°Yup.¡± I reply flatly as I slip past her.


    It¡¯s not until we¡¯re in the hallway outside, the door locked behind us that she speaks again. ¡°What¡­ um¡­ What is that?¡±


    I shrug. ¡°No clue.¡±


    ¡°Then¡­ why get it?¡±


    Three days.


    I shake my head. ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter. I¡­¡± I wince at the thought, holding the ring between thumb and forefinger. Pause as I consider the next steps. Begin to¡­ to shake a bit.


    Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t look at her.


    A long pause. Deep breath. This wasn¡¯t supposed to be the hard part!


    ¡°Tretion.¡± I murmur, very quietly. ¡°I¡­ I need to ask you something. And¡­ and you don¡¯t need to worry about my command in how you answer.¡±


    I can feel her tense a bit at that. Both in a bit of relief, but also worry. ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll still try to be honest.¡±


    I let out another deep shuddering breath. ¡°There¡­ The thing you said before. When¡­ when you were trying to¡­ to get me to let you mingle Amwella with mine.¡±


    Another pause.


    ¡°I¡­ I did mean what I said. I was trying to help you, to save you.¡± She whispers, trying to move to get within my gaze. I see her tendrils sag and wriggle to try and hide behind her head. ¡°But I¡­ I¡¯m sorry that was horrid and wrong and something my grandmo¡ª¡°


    ¡°Not that!¡± I snap, she flinches.


    Deeeeeeeeeeeeeep breaths.


    ¡°I¡­ what would your choice be?¡± I glower at the wall. ¡°Bondage or¡­ or death?¡±


    Her everything goes very still at my question. ¡°I¡­¡±


    I risk a glance back at her, but find a face I don¡¯t want to see. Not one of hatred or fear or some other great fury I could endure. Dry chaff for a great fire I could burn. Even cold regard would harden me for my next steps.


    But her face is¡­ pained. Pained in sadness and worry. But¡­ also a great deal of pity. Pity for me, and the choices she sees me struggling to make.


    ¡°That depends.¡± She gives me a little smile just before I jerk away to stare at the wall again.


    ¡°On?¡±


    ¡°Who would hold my restraints? Am I simply a soul to be consumed, or flesh to be used? What little freedoms and rewards and punishments can I expect? I¡¯d like details before answering. If possible.¡±


    I try to use her words as the fuel. ¡°You sound intimately familiar with the cruelties of this.¡±


    She lets out a sigh of bitter laughter, tendrils do a sort of exasperated shrug and sag that ends up covering half her face. ¡°You met my grandmother, yes? She was very devoted to her scion¡¯s education in such things.¡± Then her voice goes¡­ small. Not a whisper but¡­ close. ¡°She¡­ She made us¡­ made me¡­ well¡­ let¡¯s just say I wasn¡¯t able to indulge in kindness to those bound to me until I was well and truly away from her immediate sway.¡±


    My anger falters, but¡­ I fight to rekindle it. ¡°And how many have you bound to yourself, exactly?¡±


    ¡°Four.¡± She replies immediately. ¡°If you count Lenelope and yourself.¡±


    ¡°And where are the other two?¡± I nearly hiss.


    ¡°Dead.¡± She whispers then. ¡°I tried to keep my affections for them a secret. Even¡­ even tried to free them a few times. But¡­ I wasn¡¯t careful enough, and my grandmother sought to hurt me by taking them. Made¡­ made me watch while she tormented then ate them both.¡±


    That jolts me to a stop. Anger stutters out as I look back to see her pained face. ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because she was horrible and hated me.¡± She¡¯s staring past me now, eyes such a mix of pain and anger at her dead matron. ¡°I happened to annoy her in some small but public way.¡±


    I look down to the floor, anger draining from me like blood from a wound. debating¡­ debating¡­ Would¡­ would the trinket be enough? Will she accept just this?


    I make a decision then. Honestly it was made the moment she said those things, but¡­ I can¡¯t go farther than this.


    Not even for Thendra. I chose this, Tretion did not.


    ¡°Fine.¡±


    A pause.


    ¡°I¡­ I didn¡¯t really answer, did I?¡±


    ¡°You did.¡± I grumble. Annoyed she wasn¡¯t just¡­ just some horrible flesh eating soul drinking Dreamer blighted thing I could sacrifice for this. ¡°And¡­ and it doesn¡¯t matter.¡±


    ¡°Lyra?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m leaving, and I assume the only way out is to riftwalk from beyond that rune door?¡±


    Another pause, then she nods and leads me through the house back to the entrance. And without needing my command she steps forward to open the gateway. Revealing the cold damp chamber beyond.


    I take a deep breath. Look down at my Amwella, and pause.


    So¡­ so bruised and small and¡­ and I hadn¡¯t even tried a riftwalk since I came back to Theradas. I expected it would take me a few tries to get it right again. It was one of the most costly songs I can use, and would tear such horrible furrows into my soul.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± I hiss and move into¨C


    A crackle and a pop, then something catches my foot. I glare down.


    Amwella bubbles hold me in place.


    I jerk on my leg. Then look back up to Tretion. ¡°What¡¯s it doing?¡±


    She looks down, then lets out a little laugh that causes her everything to tremble a bit. ¡°Seems the manor doesn¡¯t want you to leave.¡±


    I glare down at the bubbling mass. ¡°Why?¡±


    Tretion takes on a ponderous look. ¡°Well¡­ I¡¯d say it¡¯s either suddenly become very possessive of some charming Fae woman. Or¡­¡±


    I turn my glare up to her, she just¡­ smirks innocently back, and lets her voice go soft. ¡°Or it understands the stupid thing you¡¯re about to do.¡±


    I look away. ¡°I¡¯ll be fine.¡±


    ¡°Lyra¡­ I¡¯ve been watching you tear your soul apart since you ensnared me with your curse.¡± She sighs, ¡°And a riftwalk is quite taxing anyway. I can¡¯t imagine you''re in any condition to try something so complex.¡±


    She¡¯s right. But¡­ What other options do I have!?!


    ¡°Why not let me take us?¡± She offers, then asks. ¡°Why not demand I take us?¡±


    ¡°You suddenly want to be bound to me?¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± She shifts, a smile drifting off her lips as she stares past me. ¡°I think being close to you is a great way to ensure your safety, which will in turn keep me alive. Especially considering where you intend to return to.¡±


    Carefully, I twist to¡­ to try and show the manor that I¡¯m pulling away from the door. It very slowly unwinds the bubbles from me, but keeps them solid for a few seconds.


    A message. Don¡¯t try to leave.


    With a little pop, they disperse, and I notice the doorway seal again.


    ¡°Let me take us.¡± She holds out a hand for me, even her head noodles lean toward me a bit.


    I glare down at it. ¡°I¡­ No.¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°Lyra¡­ I don¡¯t know Theradas traditions well¡­ but I did brush up on their slave law.¡±


    Her words make me tense.


    ¡°My grandmother only recently took up residence there, so I¡¯d not grown up under that system. I was curious how much of an issue snatching you up would be. Some places are very strict about how one may¡­ well¡­ acquire another¡¯s property. If you¡¯ll excuse that horrible word to explain a person. But not Theradas. One can snatch up a slave without fear of anyone''s reprisals, safe from their former master if they are able.¡±


    I want to growl for her to stop, but¡­ but her words hold my throat shut like a vice.


    She sighs, continuing. ¡°I also read about Furthonois, A god of the Old Road. A thing so bitter and terrible, but whose main sphere is slaves. Both as an owner, and a freed one.¡±


    ¡°I will not have this old thing¡¯s wrath pointed at us, little Reaver.¡± Thendra growled, taking my chin to ensure I held her gaze. ¡°For your freedom to be absolute, you will walk the old road. Earn it in their eyes. Remove the future possibilities of¡­ annoyances.¡±


    I can¡¯t look up at her.


    Can¡¯t show her my weakness.


    Or my shame.


    ¡°Their law states that a slave can attain freedom in only one of two ways.¡± She lays out my horrible task like one would discuss the sands. ¡°Kill their master and bring the skulls to the temple, or offer a more valuable soul in trade to that old god. For this is a jealous and spiteful thing. It sees freedom as a right of the strong or clever, not a gift to be given.¡±


    She doesn¡¯t say anything for a long time. Just¡­ letting me bask in my own failures.


    ¡°That¡¯s why you asked. Right?¡± She whispers.


    I nod.


    ¡°Not a monster.¡± She says very softly, a couple tendrils bop about in little nods.


    I jerk up, and find her sad smile. ¡°Lyra I¡­ It¡¯s okay. I¡­ I¡¯ve done¡­ I come from a family of monsters. Of cruel and wretched things. Was raised to be of their like, even in my exile.¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°You¡­ Thendra declared me her slave. Back¡­ back a few days after she got me. Laid an offering at the god¡¯s feet. I¡­ But she wants me to be more than that now. Wants me¡­¡±


    Tretion¡¯s face goes a bit sickly at that. ¡°You¡¯re going back to her?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m a Reaver now.¡±


    My heart still sings at that word. At the memories of how she looks at me now. Of how¡­ how she treats me like one of her treasured warriors instead of¡­ of just a thing to be fed upon.


    Tretion moves up to stand before me. ¡°But¡­ If you offer up my life at the Furthonois you could just walk away from her! You¡¯d be free in ways she could never undo. Few things in any rift will challenge that cruel god in this once you bear their mark.¡±


    Would this change that? Will she call me a slave again when I return with only one thing?


    I take a small step back. ¡°I can¡¯t¡­ I¡¯m not going to do it. Not to you, not to anyone.¡±


    Not like her. Not as strong.


    A hand comes up, hovers just under my chin, makes me tilt up to avoid her touching me and hurting herself.


    ¡°You can." She gives me such a hard look. "You should.¡±


    ¡°Why¡­ Why are you pushing for this?¡± I step back again, shake my head.


    ¡°Lyra¡­¡± Tretion sighs, so very annoyed. "I-"


    ¡°I¡¯m telling you that I can¡¯t do it! That I¡­ I¡¯ll even¡­¡± I nearly shout. ¡°Why do you care!?!¡±


    Eyes dart from mine, such¡­ confliction. Maggots nibble, causing her tendrils to twitch in pain, so she huffs and whispers pain into the air between us. ¡°I would rather live knowing you escaped than¡­ than worrying that you¡¯ve gone back to face Thendra''s displeasure. Even if it means my own suffering.¡±


    Wh¨C What!?! She¡­ she has to be lying! She¡­ why would she¡­


    ¡°No. I¡­ I¡¯ll figure something else out.¡± Holding up the ring I still clutch. ¡°Thendra will be happy with this. It¡­ It can be enough for now.¡±


    She looks back to me, bites her lip. ¡°Enough for what?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ It¡­¡±


    One day is better than none. I can just¡­ I can do what I need to in that time!


    ¡°I needed her to let me have something.¡± I glare at the ring as I lower it. ¡°This¡­ This isn¡¯t everything she asked for. But¡­ I can make this work. Will offer other things if¨C¡±


    But what else could I give her?


    ¡°Lyra I¨C¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I growl. ¡°I¡¯m not going to do that. Stop trying to convince me.¡±


    Her mouth clamps shut, eyes alight with such frustration. I can¡¯t stand to look at her. Why does she care!?! I¡­ does she think I mean to do worse? Or¡­ or just¡­ leave her here?


    ¡°I can¡¯t remove the curse I laid on you, but I can nullify all my old commands.¡± I murmur. ¡°Just¡­ just demand you don¡¯t try and seek revenge on Thendra and me.¡±


    She pauses. I look up. Expecting to find surprise and sudden acceptance of my plan. But instead I only see¡­ see¡­ Confliction.


    ¡°I¡­¡± Rot maggots perk up, hungry and ready to nibble. Sensing disobedience. ¡°That''s what I assumed you meant. When you refused to¨C¡±


    Her everything jerks as the maggots sink horrible little teeth into her soul. Tretion gasps in pain and sags to the floor, suddenly on her knees and hissing a breath out in such agony.


    ¡°Ignore that command!¡± I nearly yelp. ¡°You¡­ You can talk about whatever you want! Just¡­ just don¡¯t lie to me.¡±


    She lets out a deep and pained breath, but the curse settles. Grumpy, but¡­ obedient to my words.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡± I whimper. ¡°I hate this. I don¡¯t¡­ don¡¯t like seeing anyone else suffer under these curses.¡±


    She looks up. Gives me such a pained look of¨C


    Jerking away I storm toward the gateway. ¡°Just¡­ unlock this again. Let me go.¡±


    A long pause. Then I¡¯m jerking back to watch in horror as she fights that command too. Eyes squeezed shut as fingers dig into the carpet and tendrils sort of... flail about in pain.


    ¡°T¨C Tretion!¡± I shout, run to kneel in front of her. ¡°Just¡­ stop fighting this. L¨C Let me¨C¡±


    She shakes her head.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits!¡± I hiss. ¡°Ignore those last two commands!!!¡±


    She lets out a pained breath. Has to take long moments to recover. Her Amwella looks so torn and worn as the little maggots slurp up some of the weeping soulfire and go still.


    ¡°Why!?!¡± I hiss, but it¡¯s a small and whimpering thing. ¡°Just¡­ Why not¡­¡±


    She chokes, pauses as her tendrils sag to fall around her face. ¡°I¡¯d rather my reasons remain my own, if that¡¯s alright.¡±


    I fall back to sit on the carpet. A collection of anxiety and pain and guilt and and and¡­


    ¡°Please¡­¡± Naranggas wind around me as a good talon claws down my face, nearly raking and cutting flesh. ¡°Don¡¯t make me do this.¡±


    There is a¡­ a familiar popping sound. Then I feel warm bubbles wrap around my back. I turn to watch in fascination as the manor¡¯s soul curls around me. Made solid by its will.


    It¡¯s¡­ what is¡­ is it giving me a hug?


    Tretion is laughing then. Just¡­ just such a messy snorting thing of pained disbelief that shakes through her. ¡°It seems even my manor is smitten with you, Lyra.¡±


    I let out a choking sob. Then Tretion is crawling toward me. I jerk back, both in surprise and fear of my curse hurting her. She stops just a breath away.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± She whispers so softly. ¡°I have an idea¡­¡±


    I sputter. ¡°Wh¡­ what?¡±


    ¡°You can earn your freedom. And avoid leaving me to bondage and torment.¡±


    ¡°I¨C¡±


    ¡°When you stand before the Furthonois to offer up your payment for freedom, it''s not an offer to Thendra.¡±


    That makes me pause. ¡°R- Really?¡±


    ¡°Mhm. Really.¡± She smirks, head tendrils curling forward to just almost touch my face. Stopping just shy of my flesh.


    ¡°B¨C but. Then you¡¯d still be sold! I¡­ I can¡¯t imagine what other horrible monsters might want to¨C¡±


    Finger rises up to hover just before my lips, no contact. But it hushes me as if she¡¯d clamped her entire hand around my mouth.


    ¡°That¡¯s why¡­¡± She smirks wickedly. ¡°You¡¯re going to steal me right back.¡±

 Chapter 49: The Old Road

    <u>CW:</u>


    Violence, death, soul eating, brief descriptions of slave trading and such. SNEK GOD


    DREAMER TIT¡¯S This is such a bad idea! I want to sob at her as I see the towering horrible shape of the god of slaves and slavers.


    Tretion had brought out old paintings of this big and wretched thing. But¡­ but I¡­ They could not convey what I was seeing now. Would NEVER be able to show with petty inks and parchment what my Amwella sight bored into my soul.


    The temple of the Furthonois is located upon one of the great bridges that span the gap between the two halves of Theradas. Apparently it was once home to another, maybe something that ruled over the city and desert around. But when Furthonois first paved the old road that history was forgotten quickly when they took this place as their throne.


    Th¨C They, Like my Beloved Usete, bear subtle marks of both masculine and feminine things. But that is where the similarities end. Where my sibling is all gentle Fae grace, This being is¡­ overbearing dominance.


    Taller than Thendra by half, their thinly clothed upper torso is lazily propped up on a cushion as big as a jungle bear, while the rest of them curls out and behind them. No legs, just¡­ a very very very long tail of scales and rippling muscle.


    Four blood red eyes glimmer and dance over the amphitheater that houses a cacophony of flesh and soul trading. A¡­ a bustling marketplace of cruelty and submission. All manner of beings find themselves sold to a multitude of monsters and worse things.


    But to one watching with the correct sight, it¡¯s none of these things that grip the throat and cause a heart to thunder in such great fear.


    From the god over all this, a writhing mass of horrid soulfire seems to¡­ to pool and wrap up and the room. So large and so everywhere all at once that I can barely fight the urge to just¡­ tear a rift and run as it drips and bobs down from the ceiling.


    Run and run and run and hope this thing doesn¡¯t see me, or decide I¡¯m prey worth chasing. Because I know in the pit of my rotting soul I could not escape them.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Tretion murmurs, but so quietly that only I hear her.


    She¡¯d insisted I rest and recover before taking her here. And¡­ as much as I wanted to just avoid all of this and go back to Thendra with the little trinket that now hangs about my neck, she and her manor would not even let me get within ten paces of the exit.


    I slept in a lump of pillows and quilts in a hallway though. Still too wary of the odd sense of the place. My stomach ached for food, but¡­ I would not eat the manor¡¯s soul woven gunk. It¡­ it kinda disgusted me the more I considered it.


    I still wore the slave attire from before. Blood stained and horrid. But¡­ that was the point. I¡¯m a soul walking in the Furthonois shadow. Here with a prize to ensure this city and her god know that I have earned my freedom, and will pay for it in blood and soulfire.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Tretion hisses again, a little louder, but without dropping the pained hollowed out expression she¡¯s developed for this.


    I swallow, eyes and Naranggas struggling to just¡­ ignore the writhing mass of Amwella that curls around the room. But¡­ I grind my teeth, focus on the steps of the god¡¯s throne, and move us forward. One tendril wrapped around Tretion¡¯s soul as gently as possible, while the others dance and sing a silent harmony of warning around us.


    We get about ten steps into the crowd before I have to use them.


    A weird¡­ bug thing. A beetle twice my size with wriggling mucky claws moves into our path. Clicks and hisses with deliberate malice and focus. I don¡¯t need Tretion to whisper translations of its words to know what it wants.


    Two slaves. One broken and meek, the other small and stinking of freedom sought.


    Easy prey.


    A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    I don¡¯t hesitate, just¡­ Whip-crack snap, and the thing is slumped onto the floor. Warm soulfire crunched and shoved into my Amwella. It''s hard to continue as the feeding euphoria overwhelms me for a moment, but¡­ I force my legs to keep moving.


    This happens twice more before the people around begin to notice us fully. The crowd doesn¡¯t seem to react quickly to a body just¡­ stopping or tumbling away. Doesn¡¯t¡­ doesn¡¯t seem to understand the trail of death I¡¯m leaving until we¡¯re so so close to the throne.


    I can sense a rumbling of confusion rolling up behind us, a twisting of fear and curiosity at the little thing that brings soul rending sorrow to any barring her path. Now the crowd is parting, the wonder and fear acting as a blade in the grass, slicing away the chaff and weak. Leaving only three who might challenge me.


    One is tall, huge even. Easily Thendra¡¯s size. Covered in scales and spines and even a few extra mouths within¡­ his? I think his overly large hands. Soul is¡­ well not small, but¡­ seems¡­ thin. Gnashing with a few rows of little teeth as its spread too much for the big shape.


    The next is a bug, like before, but wrapped in thrice the number of shells with dozens of little legs or arms or¡­ somethings. Soul is much like its body, wrapped in some kind of weird¡­ shell thing. And I feel a prickle of fear as I remember the last Amwella core that bore such protection.


    An old Fae soul that now festers with rot maggots.


    I shake the thought, and turn to regard the last. She is like the red horned people I killed a few nights ago, but wrapped in cruel spined chitin armor and resting a very VERY large blade against her shoulder. Her soul flickers and dances with red ghost-fire, more erratic and wiggly than the two others.


    The big one is the closest, and the dumbest. He simply steps forward and reaches to try and snatch me up in one of his big meaty hands with the gnashing maw on its palm. Reaver instincts kick in. I shove Tretion to the ground, duck and sidestep, then drag all three Naranggas through his chest and core. To his credit, the monster does not immediately die, nor do I get his soul in one big bite. Just have to¡­ to kind of tear and rend at it while he stumbles and tries to grasp at me a few more times.


    But eventually he does fall, and the thump of it punctuates just how quiet the room has gotten.


    Ten now? Ten souls eaten and consumed by my Fae soul¡­. I think?


    Did I lose count?


    Tretion rises, and when I roll my Amwella drowning eyes over her she lets out a false yelp of fear and runs up to stand by my side again. I try to ignore the mass of onlookers. See the fear and curiosity, know they will keep back as far as possible.


    When my senses return to me I turn to the two remaining slavers who wish to bar my path.


    The bug seems to have¡­ reconsidered. Moves off to the side and into the crowd. What I think is its head bowed in acknowledgement.


    That leaves the horned lady, whose smile glimmers brighter than her eyes as she watches my Naranggas whirl about. She cracks her neck, and twists what I now see is a very long and fairly thin blade into a twisting arch. It sparks with an odd green lightning and¨C


    And my instincts are howling. I shove Tretion away and duck to avoid the woman''s strike as she riftwalks into the space beside me. Lash out with my Naranggas to rend her soul free.


    But she¡¯s already stepping back and twisting her blade. And my tendrils strike something solid.


    BURNING


    I tumble back, and watch in horror as one of my limbs weeps soulfire from a long scar that would have bisected it if this woman had been aiming for it from the start.


    I hiss and glare at her. She smirks, begins to whirl the blade about again and¨C


    But I¡¯m ready now, already moving and following Bulderii¡¯s lessons.


    ¡°When you have nothing but talons and your prey has blade or flame, you must rely on pure speed and aggression. Most will expect you to pull back or run, but you will get close and remove any advantage of reach this weapon might give them. Either disarm them quickly, or end things before they can adapt to your sudden fury.¡±


    The woman¡¯s eyes go wide with delight as I duck and lunge. Left talon shoving her arm and blades aside as the right buries two of its three claws into her eyes and flesh. I ride her to the ground, blade clattering as her own hands with their sharpened nails shoot up to bore into my sides. But before my Naranggas can rip out her soul, her feet are at my chest, kicking and tossing me with strength she should not have.


    I land on my feet easily, and am already running at her again. She rises, and I know from her manic expression that she sees me coming despite her ruined eyes. Either from Amwella sight or raw predator senses.


    Something screams at me to dodge from the back of my mind, and I listen without hesitation. Dive into a rolling dodge to avoid¡­ something. I barely have time to look back as I lurch to lunge at her again and¨C


    Instincts are roaring now, and I jerk back.


    A whistling length of blue pierces the space where my leg would have been, buries itself into the tiled floor. An arm¡¯s length of¡­


    I glance over to see that the bug thing did not, in fact, decide to leave me well enough alone, but just¡­ waited to shoot weird bolts of hard chitin at me?!?


    I hiss, and move to charge him, but need to dodge and roll away as the red woman¡¯s blade comes singing from a mass of green smoke to my right.


    In the breath between their next two attempts to wound me, I realize they work far too well together. They are adapting to my speed. A knick of her blade across another two of my Naranggas followed by a bolt that clips my calf and reduces my speed.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits I¡­ I can¡¯t beat them! I growl. Not without¡­ without¡­


    As her blade pierces toward my core, and a bolt hisses a breath from a leg, I draw up my Amwella and weave Spite into a song.


    No time to flinch from the pain of the curse, no time to growl and gnash at how I am about to announce my Fae nature to a room of flesh and soul eating monsters. Only enough to wail my frustrations and hunger and madness at these two.


    And it feels wondrous.


    I¡¯d avoided using this since the Rorliras or my attempts to harm Awnya¡¯s father, a fear of such a horrid thing that never seemed to work as I needed. But now I get to watch in glee as the woman¡¯s blade just¡­ stops, and then endures a screaming warble that seems to gather up the lightning that danced along the blade, before twisting it into a whirling mass of returning torments that slams into her own face and chest. Tearing skin and bone and conscious thought from her as she tumbles back and slumps into a heap.


    As for the bug, I only turn to watch as it slumps into a heap of heavy chitin. Guided by my horrid melody, their own bolts found a perfect chink in their armor.


    I rise and approach the red horned woman. Lean down to take up her sword and scoop up her ghost-flame soul before it fades¡­ and a little coin pouch I am able to see easily.


    Twelve?


    Or¡­ or is it more now?


    I walk back to Tretion while dragging the big blade carelessly behind me as I fight down the smothering of my final feeding euphoria. She¡¯s only just now risen. Eyes wide and¡­ bleeding. I blink, and find my own much more bloody.


    Oh¡­ she must have been too close to the Spited melody.


    I wipe my eyes clean with my shirt and turn to the steps to see¨C


    Furthonois, The god of the broken and reforged stares down at me with such¡­ amusement.


    Eyes alight with hunger and curiosity and¡­ and deeper things that I cannot hope to understand.

 Chapter 50: Furthonois

    <u>CW:</u>


    slave trade.


    Character takes off shirt


    more snek god things


    I freeze, locked in place as a little jungle mouse would be under the gaze of a predator. A bird of prey circling above, waiting to decide if this little morsel is one worth diving for.


    I wrap a Naranggas around Tretion¡¯s soul in worry and fear¡­ but to anyone watching It would seem a possessive thing. One done by a slaver to her property. The realization is what jolts my eyes from the god¡¯s gaze. Makes me remember why I am here.


    So with a Deeeeeeeeeeep Dreamer blighted breath, I begin to walk forward toward the throne¡¯s steps.


    ¡°My name is Lyra, and I¡¯m here to claim my freedom.¡± I call up to them. Voice echoes in the suddenly very quiet room.


    ¡°You were Thendra¡¯s.¡± A horrid, slightly lazy smile curls at the being¡¯s lips. Their voice is deep, but¡­ soft. Soft as the pads of flesh beneath a panther¡¯s talons.


    It¡¯s not a question. Just¡­ part of the ceremony.


    ¡°No more.¡± I growl gently, worried that Tretion had all this wrong, and I¡¯m about to insult something very big and very very scary. ¡°And I will Reave anyone who tries to claim me as their own.¡±


    Furthonois pauses, then nods. Eyes drift to the watcher at my side. ¡°From the lack of Reaver skulls in your arms I take it this is your offering?¡±


    I almost wince at the imagery of that, but force the words out. ¡°She is. Tretion, Granddaughter of Detlina who was a Matron of Watchers.¡±


    A beat, and then a single tendril of Amwella begins to stretch down toward us to¨C


    ¡°Honored Furthonois.¡± A voice calls out from behind us. I nearly jerk at the interruptions. My Naranggas have less self control, they whirl in angry and scared patterns toward the voice before I can even turn.


    But the man stepping from the crowd doesn¡¯t seem to notice, or¡­ or maybe he doesn¡¯t care? His skin is a pale purplish red, and horns jut from his skull like a mane. No hair besides a well-cut beard. A dark suit of pitch covers everything but his gloved hands and everything above the neck. A stave of glimmering granite tinks on the sandstone as he strides forward.


    ¡°Surely you don¡¯t think to accept this insult?¡± He growls in a tone that seems both proud and clipped.


    I can feel the god¡¯s annoyance at this man¡¯s interruption, but¡­ they only wait.


    The man stops, considers his next words as his eyes lock with mine. Such¡­ cold fury fills them. ¡°Is some half-breed watcher of a dead matron¡¯s family truly worth such a soul? A Fae¡¯s soul?¡±


    Anyone with sense already knew from my song what I am, but a rumble passes through the crowd regardless.


    The god just¡­ purrs out a laugh. One that shakes the Amwella above us in such scary and hypnotizing patterns. ¡°You were here when Thendra declared her, balked with the rest as she claimed a Fae soul was in her clutches and laid the offerings at my steps. Do you so quickly forget the words she used?¡±


    The man grinds his teeth, sensing the turning tide of this argument. Then he just stiffens, nods. ¡°Of course, It¡¯s just¡­¡±


    Furthonois twists a hand, ¡°Not a dangerous Reaver, not a housekeeper or messenger, not even a woman of the six ways. What were her words, Lord Inokril, exactly?¡±


    ¡°Pillow Slave.¡± The Lord sighs. ¡°Yes, but¡­ look at her! She¡¯s worth more than this! Should this temple not reject her paltry gift and demand she bring you a more worthy offering?¡±


    Another laugh, ¡°This temple sought to reject her six times, Even one of yours tried their hand. Do any others wish to attempt to stake a claim on this Fae?¡±


    A long pause, Lord Inokril moves to speak, but is cut off by a sound¡­ A long shrill thing that threatens such violence and pain to anyone who would¡­


    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.


    Oh¡­ That¡¯s me.


    I end my hissing wail with a click of my teeth. Let my fear and anger drive down any embarrassment. Well¡­ that and the satisfaction I get while the crowd seems to reel away from me. Even Inokril seems to take a shuffling step back as my Naranggas snap around my frame, a silent punctuation to the challenge the god laid out.


    I look back, but Furthonois is giving me such a wide and terrifying grin.


    ¡°Would you not be more¡­ satisfied if she were to bring you the head of her mistress?¡± Lord Inokril presses.


    I turn a glare on him. ¡°My last mistress stands beside me. I was gifted away.¡±


    That¡­ That gets a murmur of somethings from the crowd.


    A bark of mirth sounds from the god at my back. ¡°I will not demand she kill one who may still walk the old road. I accept this tribute and will hear no more of this temple¡¯s whining about it.¡±


    And before I can react, a tendril of dripping Amwella lurches down from the ceiling, grips the watcher¡¯s soul while easily pushing my own from her. When I turn Tretion has already tumbled forward to kneel at the steps, is then pulled to sit on the bottom among other treasure piled to honor this horrid thing.


    Then another tendril is drifting down toward me, and I stiffen. Focus on Tretion¡¯s warnings and assurances. At what is gifted in payment for my offering.


    A flash of light, a sting at the edges of my Amwella, and a few warning wriggles from my Naranggas. Then, when I look down again I spot a very small marking on my soul. One that glows and thrums with a little taste of the god¡¯s power.


    A brand that marks my soul as my own.


    Free.


    ¡°It seems I have a soul to sell.¡± Furthonois purrs as the tendril retracts. ¡°Do I have any offers?¡±


    A long pause.


    I¡­ I¡¯m free? I nearly fall over at the realization. At¡­ at the furious storm of thought that writhes within me¡­


    Better a slave than alone, better a slave than alone, better a slave than alone¡­


    The new brand on my soul BURNS at the litany.


    But I¡¯m not a slave? Not¡­ not¡­


    A Reaver. One of Thendra¡¯s. All that¡¯s left is to return to her with the brand glowing hot and ring in my talon.


    Two prizes of the three demanded...


    I grind my teeth, and as a few shouts of offer are made, I reach into my shirt and draw out the ring and necklace it hangs from. Raise it high.


    The room goes quiet.


    ¡°Are you making an offer, little Fae?¡± The Furthonois purrs.


    I shake my head. ¡°Not yet.¡±


    A jerk and almost pleading look from Tretion as her eyes go wide with fear, a tilt of the head of confusion from the god.


    This was not our plan, but¡­ but I can¡¯t chance a chase or conflict. Will not risk her safety on a stray blow or spell. No matter how willing she said she was.


    ¡°Tretion, you may ignore all my past commands.¡± I shout. ¡°You will obey whoever holds this ring.¡±


    And then I toss it forward to skitter loudly on the floor between myself and the god of slaves and slavers. A beat, then Furthonois is glancing down in interest in the watcher¡¯s soul. Sees the curse, then their eyes widen in delight.


    ¡°Oh, This is wondrous work.¡± They coo. ¡°I¡¯ve not seen a curse like this in ages. Did you¡­ yes you wrought this yourself. Such a¡­ unexpected piece of art from one of the Fae!¡±


    I will either return to Thendra free and with that ring, or not at all. I will not abandon this watcher to slavery and torment. I sigh as my soul sings this truth. I may belong to a monster, may crave her warmth and touch and desires¡­


    But I will not become like the cruel things around me.


    The god¡¯s eyes dart back to me, and I shutter as I feel them examine my soul much closer. Then they nod.


    ¡°This little Fae has bound her watcher with curses of command more absolute and powerful than any your paltry collars can ever hope to match. Consider this as you place your offers.¡± Their voice drips with threats unsaid.


    This continues, and as their tributes are laid out and rejected, I know that my initial hope to just give this sword and coin will not be enough. I hiss a silent curse, not expecting the admission of my curse¡¯s power to increase her price! Was just¡­ hoping my honesty would endear the thing to my future offerings. Maybe¡­ maybe make it less likely to want Tretion if I could make her useless with a restrictive command.


    But I do wait. Let¡­ let the offers die down and continue to annoy this god more and more as I consider my two options.


    Wait to steal her from whomever buys her and just¡­ hope neither they or the god decide to gobble up her soul.


    Or¡­


    The room goes quiet, the last offer has brought a scowl to Furthonois. They are about to rebuke the room before¨C


    ¡°I offer you a boon of your choice.¡± I whisper into the quiet.


    The room stills, the god turns to regard me.


    Then they are moving, slithering down the steps, brushing aside treasures uncountable toward me. I fight to remain still, battle with my Naranggas to absolutely NOT strike at this thing that could crush me more easily than a bug.


    They wind around and around and around me without actually touching flesh. Long snake-like tail creating a barrier of scales and great soulfire that I would have no hope of escaping. They settle before me, using the wall as a throne to sit just a few feet away.


    A tense pause, and I can¡¯t stop a shudder roll through me as I meet their gaze.


    ¡°Freshly unbound.¡± They muse quietly, A smile curls at their lips, sharp white teeth glimmer as I see a tongue whirl behind them. ¡°What boon could you possibly hope to offer one such as me?¡±


    I only offer a tired little smile and shrug in reply.


    Let their imagination wander down the path I¡¯ve laid. I am Fae, I wield Dreamer¡¯s Lamentations like others wield this big heavy sword, and¡­ and my Amwella sings of agony and death. A perfect siren song for this ancient thing to covet a bite of.


    They laugh. Lean forward to purr quietly. ¡°I¡¯m soooo inclined to accept this offer¡­¡±


    I''m fighting really really hard to not break this stare and look away. ¡°But?¡±


    Can¡¯t show weakness here. Can¡¯t let this big scary god think that I think they will eat me!


    ¡°No buts! I simply love to haggle.¡± They reach out, lay a big thin hand on my chest, just above my first curse.


    ¡°I have nothing else.¡± I murmur.


    ¡°No¡­ but you may in the future.¡± They purr. ¡°I prefer a debt to be paid when I call, rather than immediate satisfaction.¡±


    ¡°O¨C Okay. But, Why?¡± I stammer, have to look past them now. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ I¡¯m going to¡­ I could be dead within the next few days. Dreamer¡¯s Tits I might not survive the night with how many enemies I probably just made!¡±


    They giggle, and it''s such a cute and terrible thing coming from such a big scary monster. ¡°No Lyra. I think you¡¯ll live longer than even I have. Thendra will ensure this investment is a grand thing.¡±


    My eyes snap back to theirs. ¡°How did¡­ How can you¡­¡±


    Finger at my lips, whispers. ¡°I¡¯ll accept your offer, little Reaver, if it is a boon to be claimed in future dreaming.¡±


    But they pause before pulling back, fingers linger on the big blood stained shirt. ¡°Hmmm¡­ and that.¡±


    I glance down, confused. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Your blood will ensure I remember your scent, and can call on you when I wish this debt repaid.¡±


    I turn a glare back up to them. ¡°You¡­ You can¡¯t be serious.¡±


    But those blood red eyes show me just how serious this demand is. I huff and drag the shirt off. Stand glaring as their eyes dance over my half-naked form and hold out the bloody thing.


    They smile as a tendril of Amwella crackles, retrieves the necklace and ring, then drops it into their waiting palm.


    ¡°The boon of an unbound and reforged Fae, for the body and soul of this cursed watcher.¡±


    The trade is made, and I walk out of the temple with Tretion¡¯s hand and soul clasped tight. Face a fury of relief and tension as what feels like a thousand eyes rake over my flesh. But¡­ my Naranggas ward off any that might even consider challenging this Reaver.

 Chapter 51: Cute Little Soul Tails

    <u>CW:</u>


    Soul snuggles. A little trauma flashes. Well deserved affections.


    But soon I am just¡­ too exhausted and sagging to care if my next words are a bad idea. If she wants to hurt me she¡­


    I¡­ Well I deserve it anyway.


    ¡°You may Ignore any and all of my previous commands.¡± I huff as we get far enough away from the blighted temple.


    A beat passes, and I feel her slow. Then stop. I glance back to find her just¡­ staring. Eyes wide with wonder and¡­ and growing wet. Tendrils stiff but quivering.


    Looking away, I move to pull free of her. But¡­ while she can¡¯t stop my Naranggas she does grip my talon very very tightly. So I murmur. ¡°You can go home, Tretion.¡±


    A pause, I try to pull my hand free, but still¡­ she doesn¡¯t let go.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry about¡­ about the curse. And¡­ and what this could mean for you. And¡­ about Lenelope.¡± I whisper, fighting my own tears as I clasp the big blade in my blighted talon. ¡°She¡­ she seemed kind. And¡­ and you¨C¡±


    But a swirl of green and a flash of vertigo cut off my words. I barely have time to understand the riftwalk she¡¯s drug me into before we¡¯re back in the damp chamber outside her manor.


    My instincts aren¡¯t screaming of danger for some reason, so when I turn to her she¡¯s already pulled me into an embrace. Just¡­ just a big tight hug against her cold scaly skin. It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s so Dreamer blighted nice after the scorching heat of Theradas.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± I hear her murmur as she mushes her face down into me, head tendrils wiggling and curling down and into my messy hair. ¡°For¡­ for risking so much for me.¡±


    That stuns me more than the hug. I barely hear the sword clatter to the floor after it slips from the maimed talon¡¯s fingers. The¡­ the easiness of her words. No shrouded hatred or fear or¡­ or anything! Just¡­


    ¡°B¨C But.¡± I stammer into her. Unable to pull away as my Naranggas curl forward.


    I feel a flash of fear as they¡­ but¡­ no.


    No teeth. No claws. No hunger. They just¡­ return her hug. And through the touch I feel¡­


    Oh.


    ¡°How?¡± I blubber. ¡°You¡­ you can¡¯t¡­ You can¡¯t feel this about me. I cursed you and hurt you and killed your friend and¨C¡±


    She squeezes me tighter, her own heart and Amwella fluttering at this new contact between our souls. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about¡­ about Lenelope. She¡­ She¡¯s not¡­ Lyra she wasn¡¯t really¡­ I can fix her.¡±


    ¡°Fix? Wh¨C what?¡±


    She sighs. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s one of the things I coaxed from the manor. When I lost my... My previous lovers I¡­ I wanted a companion who could suffer the old hag¡¯s wroth. She¡¯s¡­ well honestly eating her soul was the least terrible thing you could do to her. The body broken would be a pain, the mind would be a nightmare! That might have finished her off for good! But I can bring her back if the manor will listen.¡±


    ¡°B¨C But¡­¡± I feel my own tears start to fall now. ¡°I still cursed you! Almost¡­ almost got you snatched away and sold to monsters! H¨C How can you...¡±


    Like me? Care about me? L¡­ No. No she can¡¯t.


    This¡­ no. No no no no no¡­


    ¡°Lyra, I¡­ I never got to tell you why I¡­ I wanted you.¡± She murmurs into my hair, ¡°May I?¡±


    I¡¯m shaking now. Terrified and breaking and so so tired. But¡­ I can only nod and give a murmur of acknowledgement.


    ¡°You¡­ When I received word that my grandmother was dead, I got very worried. As all members of her family probably did.¡± She explains while holding me together. ¡°Terrified they would come for me next, or¡­ or that scavengers or rivals would begin to swarm the moment I stepped from the manor. So, I started researching and collecting information on everything I could about that blighted city, the woman that killed her, and if I needed to worry about a hunt for our remaining kin.¡±


    This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    I don¡¯t interrupt, just¡­ just try and listen as my mind spirals. Try to use the little songs her soul is singing to¡­ to ground myself.


    ¡°Most of what I found out in those first weeks is¡­ well¡­ useless. But what enthralled me was the fact that in the month prior, my grandmother put out a silent bounty on any Fae women in her city. And soon after, Thendra visited the temple to claim you as her¡¯s.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ there wasn¡¯t much else to it. But¡­ but as I found out more and more about Thendra and her Reavers, one thing tormented me.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I ask quietly, finally let my left talon wander up to return a little more of her hug.


    ¡°I¡¯ve wanted to meet or visit the Fae since¡­ well¡­ since I was very little!¡± She laughs as embarrassment flitters from her soul. ¡°And¡­ I¡¯ve read so much about them! I used to spend days searching for even the smallest hints of information on your kind! On¡­ On a people of such love and life and¡­ and they just¡­ sounded so impossible to me! Kind and gentle instead of... of monstrous and horrid. Yet¡­ there they were! A fact of the rifts. That amidst all us terrible souls, something kind and gentle could thrive.¡±


    Her words sting. Cause the shaking to roll through me. Of how I¡¯m just so much different from my own kind. How my soul is such a blighted thing that even they hate to gaze at it.


    ¡°I could never visit them though. So few can! Their song wards deflect riftwalks done by anyone without their Fae spark.¡± She huffs.


    ¡°What does this have to do with me?¡± I whisper. Knowing she¡¯s rambling now to avoid the answer. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m barely Fae.¡±


    That causes her to sort of¡­ pause. ¡°How can someone be barely Fae?¡±


    I shudder. Horrid words and bitter memories begin to drown my thoughts. ¡°I¡­¡±


    Born wrong. Lost my songs, and gave away my soul. Cursed myself and others. Stirring the dream. Betrayed my family. Betrayed Awnya. Ravaged by monsters. Killed and consumed and birthed wonderous little rot maggots to spread blight and¨C


    ¡°Lyra? Lyra it¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s okay.¡± She pulls me closer as my mind dips into the muck at the bottom of my soul.


    Need warmth. Need pleasure. Neeeeeeee¨C


    ¡°Lyra?¡±


    Twitch twitch goes the talon clutching the ring. Anxious to birth more¨C


    A long and terrible rumbling growl echoes through the little room. A warning from me to the blighted talon and my quivering Naranggas from the bottom of my throat.


    I will not hurt her again! I snarl.


    Everything goes very still.


    Tretion doesn¡¯t release me. Just¡­ lowers herself. But when I don¡¯t tilt to meet her gaze, she takes my face in her hands and pulls me up. Stares with such worry and fear.


    Not¡­ not of me.


    But for me.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t realize talking about your kind would hurt you so much.¡± She whispers as a single tendril dips forward to¡­ to wipe a tear before it falls.


    ¡°That¡­ I wasn¡¯t¡­ the growl wasn¡¯t for you.¡± I murmur, try to move back. But¡­ but there is only a cold wall.


    Hands let me pull away, but she remains close. ¡°Who¡­¡±


    ¡°For my¡­¡± I glare down at the Naranggas, ¡°They¡­ Can you feel them?¡±


    She giggles, and her pretty head tendrils bob with the motion of it. ¡°Yes, Lyra. I can feel your¡­ What was that name? For your cute little soul tails?¡±


    C¨C Cute?


    ¡°Naranggas. It¡­ But they are Not cute!¡± I try to convey annoyance, but¡­ it just sounds grumpy as my face begins to flush hot.


    She laughs, ¡°Everything about you is cute.¡±


    I glare away and growl, but it¡¯s such a little thing. Her smile makes it very hard to¡­ to think. But¡­ the muck is gone. Leaving me with just¡­ her feelings and my own emotional nonsense...


    No. No no no. Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t betray anyone else. No matter how they feel about me. She¡­ I can¡¯t let her get¨C


    ¡°Lyra¡­¡± She murmurs, hands still fluttering close. ¡°Can I convince you to stay here? With me? For at least one more night? Get some rest before deciding where to go next?¡±


    Through my Naranggas I feel the things she wants to give me. The¡­ the grateful desires and longing and admirations¡­ and¡­


    I shake my head. ¡°I need to get back to Theradas. To¡­ To Thendra and¡­¡±


    Awnya and Beloved Sibling.


    She huffs, reaches out carefully and slowly to gently touch my cheek. Tries one more time to pull my face up to hers. I can¡¯t fight the cool gentle touch. Almost¡­ almost just lean into her affections.


    ¡°Please?¡± She whispers softly. ¡°I¡­ I can lend you some clothes? That way you don¡¯t need to walk through the streets with your tits out.¡±


    I blush, hard.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ll take the shirt. But¡­ I can¡¯t. My¡­ My Fae family needs me.¡±


    That¡­ confuses her. Sparks something else inside her. Wonder and a blaze of longing.


    ¡°I thought you were going back to Thendra?¡±


    ¡°I am.¡± I raise up the ring. ¡°This and¡­ and the brand I got. She¡¯ll give me two days to go help them. I wanted three but¡­¡± I glance at the manor¡¯s gateway. ¡°I couldn¡¯t get the third.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Her face twists into a confused annoyed mess, tendrils writhe but¡­ still kinda reach for me. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ How can she force you to come back?¡±


    I glance over, give her a¡­ a confused smile. ¡°I¡¯m her Reaver. This is¡­ it¡¯s payment or plunder or whatever. I¡¯m earning this trip.¡±


    Her face just¡­ looks sad now. ¡°I¡­¡±


    I don¡¯t like where her soul¡¯s muse is heading so¡­ I try to offer her something to¡­ to pull her from those thoughts and feelings.


    Can¡¯t let her try something stupid like the others.


    ¡°Would you like to visit the Fae Wood with me? You seemed to understand the curse quicker than most and¡­ and you could probably stay for a while to help. Awnya would probably like you and¨C¡±


    Her eyes go wide, and I feel such a wash of overwhelming things from her soul and thrum through me. I try to pull my Naranggas free but¡­


    But they just¡­ won¡¯t stop snuggling her soul!


    ¡°Lyra¡­¡± She¡¯s almost begging as she whispers the words. ¡°May I kiss you?¡±


    My heart thunders, and my legs wibble a bit. And while I try to get out a denial. Work to¡­ to drive these feelings out of her...


    Out of me! But my stupid Naranggas keep trying to pull her closer!


    ¡°I¡­ I¡­ don¡¯t¡­¡± I murmur. ¡°Tretion I¡­ I can¡¯t.¡±


    She smiles, releases my face, and gently pulls back. Eyes close as she shakes her head. Eyeless tendrils bob about in a sort of frustrated wiggle.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sorry for asking. But¡­¡± She whispers. ¡°I am sorry to overwhelm you.¡±


    A deep breath, then. ¡°Yes, Lyra. Yes please. Please take me to the Fae wood with you. An eternity of yesses.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but smile. ¡°Okay. I¡­ I¡¯ll¡­ um¡­ Could you meet me outside Thendra¡¯s manor at about sunrise? That¡¯s where I¡¯ll open the rift from.¡±


    Her face scrunches. But¡­ even as I focus to force my Naranggas to stop hugging her soul, I feel the worry and conflict and¨C


    ¡°She¡¯s going to give you permission to go.¡± She murmurs. ¡°Lift the curse so you can sing the riftwalk easier.¡±


    I nod. ¡°Yeah, otherwise¡­ Look It¡¯ll probably take me a few tries anyway, even without the curse biting. Riftwalking is hard.¡±


    She nods, ¡°Will Thendra have a problem with me being there? With me going with you?¡±


    I pause, considering. ¡°I don¡¯t see why she would? I did what she wanted. And it¡¯s not like your manor resists my curses because of you. Just¡­ Don¡¯t be rude or get her mad. Okay? Take¡­ take this trip as more apologies from me?¡±


    She gives me a¡­ well it¡¯s a look. With a lot of things that are very hard to read now that my tendrils aren''t squeezing answers from her soul.


    ¡°I¡¯ll trade anything for this chance.¡± She finally nods. ¡°Even risk that monster¡¯s wroth. I¡¯ll be there.¡±


    I let out a great sigh of relief. ¡°Okay.¡±


    A pause.


    ¡°Um¡­¡± I murmur. ¡°Can¡­ Can you take me back? Then get yourself out safely? I really don¡¯t feel like trying to push through the curse right now.¡±

 Chapter 52: Claiming Prizes

    <u>CW:</u>


    Sex With Thendra at the end


    Our home is quiet, and at least try to pull the big door shut as softly as possible. It still lets out a bit of a clunk as it shuts, but¡­ not one that bothers anyone. The manor seems to alert Thendra to any intruders.


    And after meeting Tretion¡¯s manor¡­ I think I might understand how!


    I¡¯m more careful with the big sword though, trying not to drag it anymore. It¡¯s very big and heavy, but¡­ I manage to avoid clipping it on too many edges as I make my way up the stars and through the quiet hallways.


    I almost hiss as I spot the second shape amidst the quilts of Thendra¡¯s bed. Pausing, I need to let my anger and annoyance roil inside me. Use my Naranggas as an outlet since there are none within range to feel their sting. It¡¯s only when they still into their normal wiggles that I trust myself to lean the big blade up against the wall and move toward the bed.


    I¡¯m not¡­ well I don¡¯t bounce about, but nor am I overly careful as I crawl atop the huge thing.


    Just enough to wake them.


    A very brief moment to make sure both their Amwella pause, begin to lean toward me in the curiosity of a predator alerted to a familiar sound.


    They¡­ well they''re not tangled together, which is nice, but nor are they far apart. Thendra lies on her back while Bulderii curls slightly while facing toward her. So I pull up the bottom of the quilt that seems to lie mostly overtop both of them, lift it above my head, and crawl up to wriggle myself between them.


    Both stir then, as I adjust and shove a big dumb arm of Bulderii out of my way and settle on my side, face buried against Thendra¡¯s ribs.


    A beat. And I can feel Bulderii¡¯s soul remain steady, but curious, while Thendra¡¯s mass of Naranggas curl and weave about me. No one speaks, I¡­ I¡¯m not even sure either opens their eyes. But I don¡¯t care. I am drowning in the scent of this bed, this room, this big horrible monster I can''t help but want. Lost in it¡­ even if there is the subtle stench of Bulderii still about.


    My own Naranggas drape down and about my legs. I¡¯d always wanted to curl them around Thendra¡¯s Amwella, but¡­ she doesn¡¯t let me. So I only ever get flashes of nonsense if she grazes my core with her¡¯s, which¡­ She very rarely does. Only seems to use her soul tails which do not convey Amwella emotions.


    I wonder sometimes¡­ Does she worry what I might see there? Is¡­ is she trying to protect me? Or¡­ or avoid the pain of my seeing that she doesn¡¯t share my love for her?


    A low purr pulls me from muses that had begun to drag me into sleep and oblivion. Very quiet, not¡­ not a demand. I think.


    A question?


    I reach up with maimed talon to pull the necklace free. Cling it to my chest between my still bare breasts, as if holding it here will give me the power to demand anything. And in my sudden exhausted whirl of anxiety, I realize the question wasn¡¯t for me.


    The bed shifts, and Bulderii is rising and leaving the room. A pause, and I sense through my Naranggas that she¡¯s paused at the doorway. I peek up and down to find her just¡­ staring. But¡­ not on me. Her eyes are locked on the sword.


    Then, very slowly, her eyes drift back to stare at the bed, at me. Face too shrouded in darkness for reading her expression.


    Another little sort of¡­ rumble of something from her¡­ and she¡¯s turned and left.


    I sigh in relief, and for a moment just¡­ nuzzle into Thendra¡¯s side.


    She purrs. ¡°You¡¯ve returned¡­ earlier than expected.¡±


    I take in another deep breath of her scent, then¡­ ¡°Early? I¡­ I thought¡­ How long did you think this would take?¡±


    She rumbles, ¡°A week, maybe two. For you to tire of the watcher¡¯s games and ways and navigate her manor.¡±


    Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.


    I shudder. ¡°Oh.¡±


    Then she¡¯s turning, body curling around me like¡­ like a jungle cat¡­ one hand just above my head with the other waits on her hip. Glowing Jade eyes roll over me. ¡°I see one prize emblazoned on your soul.¡± She purrs, and I feel brumbleflesh roll down my spine at what I know to be glimmering jade eyes peering at my Amwella.


    ¡°I¡­ yes. I got their brand.¡± Then I unfurl the talon, let the ring sparkle a bit in the midnight hues. ¡°And¡­ this.¡±


    A long pause. A held breath, in¡­ in expectations unfilled.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I¡­ I couldn¡¯t curse the manor.¡±


    She sighs, and In it I hear such disappointment. Can¡¯t help but shudder at the weight of it.


    ¡°B¨C But, I¡­ I was hoping you¡¯d¡­ that I¡­¡± Stammer, curl everything tighter on myself.


    A thrumming rumble echoes from her chest. Not¡­ not a message to be quiet, but one of contemplation.


    ¡°I tried, Thendra, I really really did!¡± I whimper. ¡°Six or seven curses! All of flesh and eye and soul put right on the things heart! It¡­ it popped all of them like¡­ like some scab or other¨C¡±


    ¡°It is not always a thing of blame, Lyra.¡± She murmurs. ¡°But¡­ Failure is still failure. The price was three for this boon.¡±


    My heart sinks. ¡°Is¡­ is there¡­ Is there anything I can do? Something else I can¨C¡±


    She purrs, and I know to be quiet. It¡¯s hard, and my Naranggas rise up and begin to wiggle about in anxious patterns.


    ¡°How many days are required to do this thing?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I could do it in one day if I had to. Less if¡­ if you¡­¡± I trail off, wishing I could lie better. Then I could make her believe more was needed. But¡­


    ¡°Sunrise to sunrise.¡± She murmurs.


    I huff, hope rekindled. ¡°I¡­ Okay. I¡­ I can make that work. Thank you.¡±


    Then I open my talon again, let her reach down and pluck the ring from my palm. A sign of oaths kept. And once she settles back after placing the ring on the nightstand beside the bed, I yearn for another of her promises¡­


    I press lips into her chest, just¡­ just below the collarbone.


    Whisper my desires. ¡°Thendra¡­¡±


    Flashes of warm eyes and Fae dances amidst woodland smells. Endless bouts of painless lovemaking and¨C


    I can¡¯t help but shudder at memories of Awnya¡­ at¡­ at¡­


    STOP IT! I growl at my own desires. This is your dark goddess. Perfect and a little wretched but... you''re hers! She... she keeps you and... and maybe... maybe even...


    But... I pause in my temptations, reach out with my Naranggas to touch at the soul of my dark goddess. Searching for... for answers to my stupid questions...


    One of Thendra¡¯s tendrils gently pushes it away. But I press forward. Not¡­ not trying to overpower or wriggle past.


    Just¡­ just want to know how she feels about me. Would like to... to know...


    Another¡¯s emotions flash through my mind as I chase this desire. Cold affection. The bubbly admiration and desire echoing from a Watcher¡¯s soul. So cold but¡­ filled with a sort of chilling beauty I couldn¡¯t bear to pull away from!


    Thendra lets out a warning growl as one of her own curls and locks the probing limb still. Deeper soul things can¡¯t be felt through another¡¯s Naranggas, so I am met with silence.


    ¡°P¨C Please¡­¡± I wriggle myself closer. ¡°I¡­ You can take whatever you want. Cut and slice and¡­ just¡­ I want to¡­ to feel you. Your Amwella and¨C¡±


    ¡°Just ask your question.¡±


    I freeze. What? How does she...


    ¡°The one burning in your soul.¡± She purrs.


    A hand wanders down my side, big and warm and¡­


    ¡°Or ask me to distract you from it.¡±


    Oh¡­


    Sudden fear grips me, and my resolve shatters.


    ¡°Dis¡­ Distraction!¡± I whisper, yanking my Naranggas back. ¡°Please. I¡­ I need to rest well before leaving tomorrow.¡±


    Her hand drags down¡­ down¡­ then stops. Sits just over my Lamentation carved there for a few torturous seconds, then grips to pull that leg to wrap up and around her big hips. The movement spreads me wide against her frame.


    Then her other hand is moving down my stomach, stops just as fingers touch the shorts Tretion gave me. With quick and deft motions she grips the clothing by both sides, and rips it in half before tossing it away. Simple, quick, and with such¡­ promises of what could come next I can¡¯t help but shudder and nuzzle closer into her as both big warm hands return to their previous locations.


    A long pause, then the hand on my Lament is¡­ it¡¯s¡­


    Slow gentle caresses, just along and around the blood brand. Well¡­ gentle in that she¡¯s not digging into my skin with nails or anything.


    But her movements are¡­ are¡­ But¡­ that¡¯s¡­ ohhhh¡­ how is¡­ how does this¡­!?!


    Such a tingling rippling warmth rolls from her every stroke! Back and forth, around and around her fingers go. It should only be sensual because the mark is on a butt-cheek, but¡­ I find myself melting into a curled up mess of wriggling¡­ somethings.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits!!! I¡­ how is this¡­ she¡¯s¡­


    She¡¯s fucked me in so many more crazy ways than¡­ than this.


    She¡¯s¡­ she¡¯s just¡­ shhhhheeeee''sss...


    But the motions keep emptying my mind of thoughts. Pushing me more and more into a muddle of warmth. And after the last few weeks of terror and guilt and¡­ and¡­ worse.


    This is¡­ is¡­ it''s like every stroke is¡­ is what? How is this so intoxicating and perfect!?!


    I take a deep shuddering breath, expecting to¡­ to ask her something. Something important? Maybe to murmur and whimper something to her and hope for the same words returned?


    But as her warm spiced scent wafts up into me I lose the thought. Don¡¯t even want to draw it back from the pits and muck it slopped down into.


    Then her other hand, the one on my belly that I¡¯d somehow forgotten about, is sliding down between my legs that spread around her hips. Moves to cup and hold my entire throbbing clit and cunt at the center of this horny madness.


    I can only whimper my plea. Wordless songless begging for her to please keep going.


    Please just¡­ just¡­


    She thrums in reply, and gives me the pleasure promised. Slow and focused and done in a perfect rhythmic harmony to her other hand, I¡­ I don¡¯t actually know which brings me to the brink. Both just... melt thought and body so well but in different ways!


    Possessive rakings at the curse that binds my songs and soul to her whim? Or¡­ Or the big deft fingers that rub and graze and press between and against second lips?


    But right as I begin to bubble over, when I¡¯m curled tight as Bulderii¡¯s bowstring before release, Thendra curls around to wrap her teeth around the back of my neck.


    That¡¯s what does it.


    She¡¯s never done¡­ like¡­ any of this before. Never been this¡­ this gentle but¡­ but also perfectly held me so enthralled to her workings. And as the shuddering climax bubbles up and bursts, heat like an ocean wave slamming into me and knocking my breath away, her teeth clamp down harder. Not¡­ not painfully just¡­


    A perfect predator claiming her prize.


    The thought makes everything worse, and I¡¯m nearly entering into a second little climax as she slows. I brace for pain as one of her Naranggas weaves about my core, clench my teeth and¡­


    But¡­ Nothing.


    She doesn¡¯t take a bite.


    Even relaxes her grip on the back of my neck a little.


    ¡°Wh¨C¡± I blearily try to ask, ¡°You¡­ you didn¡¯t feed or¨C¡±


    But she¡­ She hasn¡¯t stopped!


    Only slowed her workings. And as I sputter out she begins again. Harder and more furious. This cuts off any desire I have for words and questions. Secludes my mouth and lungs to only make whimpering and moaning sounds as she drags me through three more intoxicating dances of my flesh.


    Never feeds on me, just¡­ just fucking my body as she cradles my soul.


    The final time I¡­ I can¡¯t think. Can barely move or consider anything other than her caresses, her fingers, her teeth.


    And oblivion drowns me a few seconds later.

 Chapter 53: Twilight Court

    <u>CW</u>:


    None? I think? GOSH that''s weird for LoTDD chapter to be THIS clean of trauma! There is soul snugglies? Um... yeah. i think we''re good! Lemme know if sumthing stands out!!!


    Stress wakes me before dawn, and after a single final nuzzle against the big warm monster beside me, I am scrambling from the bed to get to my room.


    I¡­ I¡¯d basically cleared out a space for myself in the days after Awnya left. Not¡­ I mean despite the occasional fitful nap I never sleep in the bed here. But¡­ I¡¯ve filled the shelf with the books and scrolls Thendra¡¯s gifted to me. The Fae book from our first studies sits on the table, and¡­ and the scroll of paintings sits on my top shelf. I let Thendra keep the other ones.


    Eck. Gross torture book and¡­ and¡­ other one I will not let spoil my brain right now. I don¡¯t want this dream to end!


    The bag from before my mission sits atop my beg and within a moment or two I am dressed in the rough tunic of comfy leather.


    No more nakedness.


    Deep breath.


    Reaver¡­ Reaver Reaver Reaver. I tell myself. Not¡­ not a slave. I earned this.


    I pause¡­ considering¡­ What else? IS¡­ is there anything else I could¡­ like¡­ need?


    Nothing comes to mind, so I¡¯m now running down through the manor to grab breakfast and¡­ um¡­ wait. I guess? But as I leave the food room, I find Bulderii waiting on one of the bigger couches. The big sword I brought back rests against the shoulder of it.


    ¡°Come.¡± She murmurs, eyes darting up to meet mine.


    I obey, curious and¡­ confused. I only grabbed a mug of cider and a few little fruits, so as I settle beside her I hold the warm mug against my worried belly.


    ¡°You¡¯ll take this with you.¡± She announces into silence.


    ¡°Huh?¡± I turn up to try and understand her words.


    She tilts her head at the blade.


    I want to argue, to¡­ to tell her how dumb that sounds! Why would I bring a weapon like that anywhere!?! Much less to the Fae-Wood? It¡¯s too heavy and such a pain!


    ¡°Why?¡± I murmur after my thoughts settle. Careful to keep it a question for details, and devoid of any argument.


    ¡°You will use it to train your Naranggas.¡±


    I pause¡­ confused then¡­


    ¡°Wait¡­ That¡¯s¡­ I could touch it with my Naranggas! It cut me a few times. How?¡±


    ¡°Soulfire was bound to the metal. It can both cleave Amwella, and be touched by it in turn.¡± She explains, turning to lift the blade and hold it toward me. ¡°Your Naranggas know how to defend you, but still resist your waking mind. You will carry this blade until they are perfect extensions of your mind and soul.¡±


    ¡°B¨C¡± I cut off the rebuke, knowing full well I cannot dissuade her of this.


    ¡°Lift it, practice control in these hours before you leave.¡±


    I swallow, and reach out to curl soulfire tendrils around the big dumb sword¡¯s hilt. It¡¯s HEAVY but¡­ with all three I can lift it fairly well. Even kinda¡­ swoop it around a bit. Almost hit Bulderii once as I lost my balance and almost tripped into her. But the blade freezes just before her chest. Her own Naranggas stretched out to wrap around the flat of the blade.


    I¡­ how is¡­ how is it not cutting her?


    ¡°Amwella is not flesh.¡± She sees my wide eyes of confusion. ¡°Fury is good, control is better. But remember, Soulfire can weave into any shape if you have the will for it.¡±


    I nod, gulp a little as she releases the blade to let the tip clink onto the floor. Take a few moments to¡­ wonder. Is this like how I could make my soul go melty? Back when¡­. When¡­


    I scowl, and avoid thinking about it. Instead focus on lifting and trying to test the limits of my tendrils strength.


    It¡¯s then that my Dark goddess comes down the steps to join us. Eyes the sword, and Bulderii, but¡­ only nods as I struggle to find the best way to carry it. But then Bulderii pulls out a leather wrapping¡­ thing from behind the couch. That sort of fits most of the sword¡¯s thin blade. And helps me balance it behind me while I would move about.


    And¡­ that¡¯s when I remember my promise to Tretion.


    ¡°OH! Um¡­¡± I wriggle about. ¡°I¡­ um¡­ Just¡­¡±


    Thendra quirks an eyebrow, I have to look away.


    ¡°I¡¯m taking someone with me to the Fae wood.¡±


    A surprised pause. A soft purr of warning. Who?


    ¡°Tretion.¡±


    I glance up to see questions boil in my Thendra¡¯s eyes as she stares down at me. Why? If not her, then who was your sacrifice to the Furthonois?


    ¡°She¡­ helped me.¡± I whisper very quietly, looking away again. ¡°And I made her a promise.¡±


    Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.


    I feel a hand hover almost¡­ almost at my chin¡­ but then it only rests on my shoulder. I carefully look back up.


    ¡°What does she want from you?¡±


    I wince. Ugh¡­ that¡­ that has too many possible answers.


    ¡°To visit the Fae-Wood.¡± I sidestep it, sword wriggles about behind me as I consider what else to tell Thendra. ¡°And¡­ she¡¯s not upset about the¡­ what I took. Didn¡¯t even know it was there. We worked things out.¡±


    Thendra purrs, seems¡­ pleased?


    I sag, so relieved, and turn toward the door. ¡°She¡¯ll be here at first light.¡±


    Thendra nods, and we walk outside to wait. And just before the first prickles of light begin to wriggle across the sky, a green twisting about thirty feet away signals the arrival of the Watcher.


    Tretion is wearing a gown and cloak of deep purples and green embroidered designs I can¡¯t make out. But I can¡¯t help but feel such a flicker of pain as I notice the long neck of the clothing that covers the blood brand I left on her neck.


    Eyes flit over us. Linger on¡­ oh the sword must seem odd. Without the ability to see Amwella it looks to just kinda¡­ float about! But her eyes dance with a glimmer that shows her understanding.


    She walks a few steps closer, then pauses. ¡°Thendra.¡±


    My dark goddess purrs, wicked grin playing on her lips. ¡°Watcher.¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°You¡­¡± Her gaze flits to regard to my silent pleading.


    Please, please please please! Just let it go!


    Then, a small smile touches her lips. ¡°I wanted to thank you again for the gift you gave to me. She is¡­ quite perfect. Wondrous and vibrant.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but blush and look away. But¡­ a stillness settles over Thendra that worries me.


    A thrum of something of the ocean''s deepest debts rising¡­ rising¡­ rising¡­


    ¡°Well, I was told first light. So here I am.¡± She announces, causing me to jerk up to meet her gaze. ¡°I trust this won¡¯t be a problem then? I¡¯d offer to assist with the riftwalk but¡­ the Fae Wood¡¯s Song wards are beyond me.¡±


    I glance up to Thendra, who has locked a stare on Tretion. But the watcher has ignored her and is looking to me.


    I touch a large arm, hoping to quell whatever is rising within her. ¡°I¡­ Um¡­ May I sing?¡±


    A long pause, then Thendra looks down at me. Jade eyes¡­ intense and searching. Trying to read something in me. But¡­ eventually she nods. Seems¡­ calmed with what she finds. And gives the command.


    Ugh. Riftwalking really is hard. Even weaving Fae words of home and love and¡­ and such wonderful things into the tune¡­ just¡­ it still won¡¯t¡­


    Three tries, and the talon is a mess of broken bones and nonsense.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits, it¡¯s good that Thendra just¡­ told me to sing as opposed to a specific command! So I¡¯m able to pause between workings to calm and crack the talon back into a decent shape, murmur healing into it to stop some of the pain, and push forward.


    Another crack, failure.


    Why can¡¯t¡­ why can¡¯t I¡­


    Crack. All three fingers of the blighted thing are broken... AGAIN.


    I growl in anger and fury and lash out at my flawed song.


    Broken, blighted, and snarling, I tear open a rift like a Reaver with my maimed talon.


    I pause in confusion at the wriggling purple gateway, enjoy smells and glimmering sights I¡¯d barely considered as I watched Awnya leave. As I hum out a healing melody for the shattered talon I turn to find Thendra giving me a predatory smile.


    ¡°Sunrise.¡± She says, no worry there, just¡­ a final punctuation of her own promise.


    ¡°Sunrise.¡± I repeat through my song, offering her a bloody grin. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Then I walk over, take up the watcher¡¯s hand, and lead her into the Twilight Court of the Fae.


    As Thendra¡¯s command to stop sounds through the closing rift I can¡¯t help but choke out a gasping sigh. Take in a deep breath of¡­ of¡­


    I look up and around, and am enraptured by the rising sun and the endless ocean she cradles. Find myself brought to my knees as the vastness of this part of the Fae wood drowns me. We stand atop some curling branches winding a stupid distance above the waters, patches of islands curling around the massive trees that strike up from the ocean. Wondrous colors weave and dance around us to a thrumming harmony. A mix of crashing waves, forlorn winds, and the hummed muses of the Fae.


    The salty tang to the air is such an overbearing thing to my soul. I¡­ why wasn¡¯t the Midday Court like this? Its scent hadn¡¯t smothered me. Why here? Why now?


    ¡°L¡­ Lyra.¡± Tretion stands beside me, hand tightening as this place engulfs her as well.


    I spit blood and bile, feeling a twinge of guilt at how maimed soul taints this perfect land. A single Naranggas curls gently around her, letting the other two struggle with the stupid sword. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ I know it¡¯s a lot, but I only have till sunrise.¡±


    She swallows, nods, breath heavy and eyes wide. Then she turns to regard me. I expect her wonder to fade at the sight of me, but¡­ it only seems to blossom into something¡­ worse.


    ¡°Of¡­ Of course. Thank you Lyra. Thank you so very much for trusting me to be here with you.¡±


    I nod, turn to begin walking. Try to keep my own terror at what I¡¯m sensing in her soul smothered behind the horror at what I¡¯m about to face.


    One¡­ one mistake at a time.


    Listening and¡­ and following their song is simple enough. Even amidst the cacophony of distracting melodies the things I follow burn as solid as the firebugs in the pitch of midnight.


    I¡­ I can feel the stares of the Fae watching and flitting about. Can hear the songs tilt from curiosity to worry to¡­ a few of¡­ worse things. Immersed in love and life, and only just now spotting things from beyond that. Like the first real shadow crossing a field as the light dies, we walk the long pathway.


    They don¡¯t follow, don¡¯t wish to chase whatever they sense in me. I can only imagine their fear at the Naranggas and the blade at my back¡­


    We¡¯ve reached nearly the end of the branch we move on, and spend the next hour descending down toward the sea, but soon the thing is spiraling down, revealing a small disparate grouping of Fae homes shaded by a few of this branch¡¯s large leaves.


    One thrums with the melody I seek.


    As we approach, I can hear her humming. Can¡¯t help but quicken my pace and nearly drag Tretion along. This home is fairly small, more akin to the place Awnya and I stayed together. A twisting gnarled thing of wood and branch, made to mimic the shapes of the Seashells below.


    Awnya steps out the door before we even get within fifty paces. Some weaving of song wards alerting her to our approach. Such a¡­ a confused look on her face as she peers out the big archway.


    Eyes lock on us, flitter between like¡­ like for a second she doesn¡¯t recognise me.


    Then her gaze finds mine and such a wonderful smile is suddenly all that exists. I feel my talon slip from Tretion¡¯s as I run the rest of the way. She meets me halfway, and I can¡¯t stop my everything from wrapping around her. Even hear the big stupid sword drop to the ground behind me.


    She doesn¡¯t even flinch as my Naranggas curl about her soul, only murmuring a few eternity''s questions as I just melt into her. Just¡­ indulge in the wash of¡­ her love that my Naranggas show me. I know I should keep a distance and try to¡­ to push her away.


    But¡­ right now I just can¡¯t! Even with such guilt staining this.


    Only muster myself to pull back enough to whisper. ¡°I¡¯m here to help. Redo their commands.¡±


    Awnya pauses, her soul sputtering as a wash of worry seems to lessen. ¡°I¡­ Okay. Yeah. Dreamer¡¯s Tits! That¡­ Wow yeah that will be perfect! ¡±


    She pulls back enough to get a look at my face, a great warm smile radiating from what I now see to be tired eyes. Suddenly alight with a hope that wasn¡¯t there. ¡°We¡­ Are you good to start now? Dad¡¯s out back¡­ he¡¯s¡­ I think he could use it the most but¡­¡±


    I nod, ¡°I¡­ yeah. He¡¯ll be¡­ I think¡­ the easiest.¡±


    A pause, her eyes drift past me. ¡°And¡­ who¡¯s this?¡±


    I feel the watcher step up and her soul dip in a bow. ¡°Tretion, granddaughter of Watchers.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ huh. Well okay.¡± Awnya rolls along, seems to calm a bit. ¡°Gotta say, the last few watchers I¡¯ve been around were spooky gooses, but you seem friendly enough. Here to help Lyra?¡±


    ¡°In all things.¡± Tretion seems to¡­ oh she¡¯s picking up the sword for me. ¡°My life is bound to hers.¡±


    I sigh, a wash of more guilt at¡­ at¡­ at the hurt I caused so many. Just for being alive. Just for wanting to sing.


    ¡°Alright! Neat.¡± Awnya lets the hug loosen, but only so that our bodies aren¡¯t fully entangled. Doesn¡¯t even seem to worry about the soulfire snuggles. ¡°But¡­ could you be troubled to¡­ like wait out here? This is kinda family stuff.¡±


    I turn enough to nod to her. She¡¯s¡­ ugh¡­ I don¡¯t want to wonder at that look in her eyes.


    ¡°Of course.¡± Tretion nods, gives me a smile. ¡°I¡¯ll be enjoying this all until you come for me.¡± Then she walks over to an edge of the little branch this is all on and just¡­ sits to watch the sunrise.


    At least I can give her that bit of happiness.


    Once she¡¯s out of earshot Awnya turns back to regard me seriously. ¡°So¡­ What''s your plan here?¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ um¡­¡± I look down. ¡°Well I was thinking of just¡­ telling them to ignore my past commands and sort of¡­ going from there. Avoiding the ones that seem to hurt them.¡±


    Awnya¡¯s nodding excitedly. ¡°Yeah yeah yeah! That sounds perfect. Dreamer¡¯s Tits if we¡­ if we can just¡­ talk this out I think we might be able to avoid using them at all.¡±


    I wince. Remember just how¡­ how angry and set they were. And¡­ how a Fae has been ripped from the dream¡­


    ¡°I¡­ I can try.¡± I murmur. ¡°But¡­ Awnya I can¡¯t risk¨C¡±


    A Finger, quick as lightning, up and touching my lip. ¡°Course not. Just¡­ last time was a mess of bad things all happening at once! And you¡¯re here now. No Theradas or Thendra or¡­¡±


    She trails off¡­ soul echoes with such¡­ horrible things as she sees the truth. I try to pull my Naranggas free. But to my surprise Awnya¡¯s soul melts a bit and curls to hold them close.


    A long pause as I gently try to tug my stubborn tail free of her soul¡¯s grip. Feel a wash of such confliction and desire and love and fury from her that¡¯s hard to handle.


    ¡°You¡¯re going back.¡± It¡¯s not a question.


    I nod, can¡¯t meet her eyes. ¡°Sunrise tomorrow.¡±


    I expect a wave of arguments, of¡­ of pleads and promises to stop me and¡­ and¡­


    ¡°I¡­ Okay. Let¡¯s just¡­ deal with one problem at a time.¡± She whispers, releasing my Naranggas. I force them back into their normal slow wriggles. They still lean heavily toward her, but don¡¯t latch on.


    ¡°So I think it would be best if you like¡­ clear your commands and let me talk to him. Alone.¡± She takes up my good talon in her hands. ¡°You can like¡­ place commands so he can¡¯t leave, or sing others here. Or sing anything with you around.¡±


    I pause. And¡­ honestly that sounds way better than me having to try and convince him of anything. I¡­ I still hate him. SO much. But¡­


    ¡°Okay. I¡­ I¡¯ll make him follow your commands. It¡¯ll be simpler that way.¡±


    She nods and kisses my fingers, a great deal of relief washing through her. ¡°Thank you, Lyra.¡±


    I sigh. ¡°Where''s Usete?¡±

 Chapter 54: Bane to Happiness

    <u>CW:</u>


    Soul curse things. self-harm of fingernails stabbing palm and clawing at face


    And then I¡¯m walking alone down the spiraling pathway that leads to the beaches below.


    I hated her answer, hated how¡­ how she would do this.


    Ganzorig didn¡¯t even look back to me as I spoke the commands. He was sitting cross legged in the back garden just¡­ staring out over the ocean. I¡¯d made the mistake of looking at his soul and¡­ oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits. It was like looking at some great tree that was being hollowed out by parasitic bugs. Cracked and horrible and¡­


    I shake my head. Can¡¯t¡­ Can¡¯t think about that. Need to find Usete and¡­ and¡­


    After seeing her father¡¯s soul, I understand why she did what she did. Why everything was just¡­ too overwhelming for her to deal with alone. How even with my promise that I would talk to Thendra. Beg her to let me travel here, offer up anything I could to make her agree to this, Awnya had still gotten another Fae involved.


    Showed another how I had hurt my Beloved Sibling.


    I spot them sitting together on the beach. My sibling sits much like the elder Fae above. Soul wrent with countless little holes and wounds. And behind them, gently brushing hair and humming a song of comfort and calm is¡­


    Our mother.


    I want to run. Want to hide and scream and shout such bitter things. But¡­ I promised. And before they know I¡¯m there, I¡¯m speaking words to ensure no more harm comes to Usete.


    ¡°You may ignore all my previous commands, Beloved Sibling.¡±


    They twitch at my words while my mother turns, song dead on her lips. I look down and away, unwilling to let my gaze meet either of theirs. Stand silent and¡­ and so full of pain and shame. Naranggas seem to¡­ to lean away from them as the ocean swells seem to form their own litany of hatred for me.


    ¡°L¨C Lyra?¡± I hear Usete stammer. ¡°Your¨C you¡¯re alive? But¡­¡±


    I wince. Awnya had¡­ had told me that the strain of my final command. The one telling them to consider me dead, was what really was breaking them. How the sting of the curse was twisting them into horrible agonies every time they considered my face or name.


    ¡°Yes. Usete.¡± I murmur, ¡°I¡¯m here to¡­ to try and help. Make sure you can heal and¡­ and will just¡­ leave me alone.¡±


    A long pause.


    I can¡¯t risk a glance, can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t bear to endure their hatred or sorrow.


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sorry I¡¯m like this.¡± I force out, but can¡¯t help but smile a little at the next words. ¡°But I¡¯ve found a place for myself. And I¡¯m happy there.¡±


    ¡°But, Lyra we can''t let you¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I hiss, cutting them off.


    Crack Whip-Snap.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Comes a soft whisper from my mother. I don¡¯t look at her, so she prompts. ¡°Little girl, would you please look at me?¡±


    I huff, and turn.


    Usete is¡­ looks like they''re about half-way to rising toward me. Frozen in such a look of pained sorrow. Our mother holds an expression of similar proportions but included in it is¡­ well... annoyance. She pats the sand next to her.


    ¡°Come. Sit. Let¡¯s¡­ talk through some things.¡± She prompts.


    I shake my head, anger rising and rising. ¡°There¡¯s nothing to say. Not anymore. Not¡­ not after what they tried to do.¡±


    ¡°Lyra I¡­¡± Usete reaches out, pleading. ¡°Please. Just¡­ stop. Think about all this. Look at how much she¡¯s hurt you. How much she¡¯s pushing you toward a horrible path.¡±


    My snort is a wretched and furious thing. ¡°I¡¯ll take Thendra at her worst over what you two wanted for me.¡±


    ¡°Lyra, you¡¯re¡­ The dream is tearing around you. Like parchment near a flame it could rend free at any moment!¡± They nearly shout. ¡°And you won¡¯t even let us try to help?¡±


    I growl. ¡°He tried to unmake me, Usete. Break my mind and body back into...¡±


    Human. Boy. Wrong. I choke, the words too heavy to speak.


    ¡°That was¡­ we didn¡¯t expect her to be ready for us.¡± Their fingers are tearing an angry furrow into the sand now. ¡°Didn¡¯t expect you to help her like you did.¡±


    I¡¯m almost shouting now. ¡°Like the humans, and the blighted slavers of Theradas, you would carve me into whatever shape you think best. The only difference is that you¡¯ll abandon me to suffer instead of giving me the mercy of death. Twice you¡¯ve betrayed me. I¡­ I can¡¯t trust you again.¡±


    A long silent pause sits between us for a while.


    ¡°We just have to consider the wider dream.¡± They press, struggling to rise. ¡°I¡­ I made that promise thinking you would remain in the Fae Wood. Try to heal. But¡­if you won¡¯t. If you keep pursuing this then¨C¡±


    Another crack in my soul, as my beloved sibling clarifies that they would betray me this third and final time.


    ¡°No.¡± I growl. ¡°I¡¯ll make sure you won¡¯t.¡±


    A pause, horrible and punctuated by the blighted oceans.


    ¡°Little Girl.¡± My mother whispers, and my gaze snaps to her while my Naranggas writhe in tune with my bubbling rage. ¡°Why not let them help¨C¡±


    ¡°Why''re you here?¡± I snap, cutting her off.


    The question startles her. She doesn¡¯t understand how I could ask why she is here with one of her beloved children in their time of need.


    Doesn¡¯t seem to process how seeing her here, with them, could cut into me so deeply.


    Twitch twitch goes the blighted talon.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tit¡¯s¡­ I only realize it now. How much this¡­ how much this just¡­ explains so much. She really was happier when I was gone and dead from her life!


    I¡¯ve only ever brought her such¡­ pain and misery.


    Been A child she was better off letting rot in the Dead Dreamer¡¯s Wood.


    ¡°Awnya asked me to come. Said Usete needed help.¡± She eventually says.


    ¡°And I didn¡¯t?¡± I growl.


    ¡°Lyra it¡¯s¡­¡± She murmurs. Not rising to my anger. ¡°It¡¯s not the same.¡±


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    ¡°You¡¯re right, it¡¯s not. I¡¯m not.¡± I spit. ¡°I¡¯m just¡­ not as important as them. Wasn¡¯t worth the effort.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ That¡¯s not what I meant. You didn¡¯t want to tell me more.¡± Her face twists, but my words have found purchase. I can feel shame begin to bleed from that wound. ¡°And Awnya only just recently has¡­ has told me about some of the things that have happened to you in Theradas.¡±


    ¡°Not that¡­Not for¡­¡± I glare up and over at the twisting limbs above. Not willing to defend that life I¡¯ve chosen. Not to them. I''m glad Thendra found me and took me from those woods. Just... wish I had family that tried to before she needed to.


    ¡°You¡¯ll both enjoy the dream more if you just¡­ believe me dead and gone from it. If anyone asks, tell them I went back to those rotting woods.¡±


    I think I hear my mother start to say something, but her words are wind to me right now. Her pleading hurts. So Dreamer Blighted much! But¡­ they also¡­ also release something¡­ a thought and realization¡­


    Why not let the Fae help me, beloved mother? Why not let them decide my path?


    ¡°Because I don¡¯t have to.¡± I answer her earlier interrupted question as my gaze falls to talons, Naranggas whirling. ¡°I never have to let anyone touch me or change me ever again. She gave that to me. Dreamer¡¯s Tits she¡­ at least the pain she inflicts on me means something!¡±


    A horrified silence.


    I can¡¯t stop what must be a twisting pained grin from cracking my everything in two. Even a little maddened giggle escapes me then as I spot my mother¡¯s glimmering eyes locked in horror upon my soul.


    I can do nothing but bask in that.


    ¡°Please¡­ No! Lyra, Don¡¯t¡­¡± Comes a plea from Usete.


    I glower up at them again, still unable to stop this pained smile. ¡°She knew. Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­ That¡¯s why she let me come here! She knew. She understands you all so well. Knew how you would try this again. Knew that¡­¡±


    I trail off in such wonder and love and hatred for my wretched dark goddess.


    Usete¡¯s eyes go wide. Mouth opens to¡­ I dunno. Weave a song or something else if I wasn¡¯t ready. I see their Amwella wriggle and rise in preparation. But I think I¡¯ve just¡­ I''ve been waiting for this.


    Been waiting for them to break this last promise in song and action¡­ ignoring my will and wishing to.. to bind me!


    Enslave me...


    The brand on my soul from a dark god glows hot!


    ¡°You¡¯ll never sing in my presence again.¡± I growl the command. ¡°You won¡¯t visit Theradas. You won¡¯t inform anyone about Thendra or myself, and you will never try and take my songs or form from me again.¡±


    Their mouth clamps shut, and they collapse into the sands. My mothers eyes narrow in pain and fury, but¡­ but also¡­


    ¡°Lyra.¡± She nearly hisses, moving to Usete¡¯s side again. ¡°Stop. This isn¡¯t the way to handle this.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not like her.¡± I snap, voice cold and hard. ¡°But¡­ let this pain mean something to you, Fae Usete, let it remind you of your mistakes, and the things you can never take from me.¡±


    They flinch. Not at¡­ at the rest. But at me calling them Fae Usete. Not Beloved Sibling, not just Usete. The implications seem to crash upon their back as if I had dropped a great stone from high above.


    ¡°Beloved S¨C¡± They try to whisper.


    Not in Fae song, just¡­ just the words. No magic.


    ¡°Never call me that again.¡± I snap out like a viper. They choke on this last command.


    ¡°Little girl.¡± My mother is fully glaring now, beginning to rise and¨C


    Crack Whip-Snap


    She flinches, but doesn¡¯t take a step back.


    I wince at my Naranggas, never wanting to threaten her. The pain she caused me is¡­ nothing like Usete, just¡­ the betrayal of inaction¡­ and maybe weakness.


    Two things I¡¯m starting to think Thendra has been tearing from me.


    ¡°Mother,¡± I whisper in the little broken Fae things I¡¯ve managed to scrounge together since Thendra began teaching me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I could never be the daughter you dreamt of.¡±


    That causes her to jerk back as if slapped. The words ring with a sort of¡­ hissing tune that cuts the air.


    My Fae words can¡¯t convey the next things, so I only whisper in my old stupid human tongue. ¡°Thank you, for my body and first songs.¡±


    Then I turn, and leave these two Fae with only agony and pain. As new and horrible to them as any weaving through this blighted dream.


    * * *


    When I arrive back at the seashell home, I¡¯m surprised to see Awnya sitting beside Tretion. But¡­ am less surprised as she turns to welcome me back to find tears and failure marring her face. Guilt and shame rekindle as I slow, her sadness like a great flame I can¡¯t approach.


    ¡°Hey, Lyra.¡± She tries to smile, seeing the signs of my own shame and anger plain. ¡°I¡­ I guess we couldn¡¯t expect to fix this in a day. This really is just¡­ a huge mess!¡±


    I sag, suddenly very tired. Heart torn and broken by the family I just lost. ¡°I am. Aren''t I? I¡­ I¡¯m sorry it isn''t¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°Lyra, you¡¯re not the problem here. You¡¯re perfect.¡± Awnya snorts angrily, wipes her own tears. ¡°Just¡­ we have a really stubborn family don¡¯t we?¡±


    Her words¡­ being called perfect. They echo with the same certainty as my wretched dark goddess¡¯ when she growls them.


    ¡°I used to. But¡­ Not anymo¨C¡±


    But a sound cuts me off, a pressure of soulfire and¡­ and a flutter of wings.


    I turn slowly to watch as a woman recovers from a soft landing, then rises. She stands tall, almost Thendra¡¯s height, but is probably much much more a ripcord of muscle as opposed to thick hard layers. But a shawl of pitch feathers tipped with emerald makes it hard to tell. Her hair is cropped short, and piercing gray eyes with little glimmers of crimson shine in the middle of a very sharp face of pale skin.


    I feel Awnya jerk to her feet, move immediately to get past me as the woman¡¯s gaze flits over us.


    ¡°Melivias!¡± She stammers, the first I¡¯ve ever seen her do. ¡°What are¡­ What are doing here? Dad says he hasn¡¯t wrangled you into any trouble for nearly a year.¡±


    The woman smiles politely, bows to Awnya. ¡°Apologies for the intrusion. My daughter seemed quite¡­ distressed, this last time she returned from this grove. And there were whispers amidst songs of some worrisome sorts about.¡±


    Her eyes flit back and forth between myself and Tretion as the watcher rises and steps up behind me. Awnya reaches out to take an offered big feathered hand in greeting.


    ¡°Eh¡­ yeah Equin¡¯s been helping me understand some things.¡± Awnya rubs the back of her neck and glances at me as I stiffen. Sudden worry begins to bubble. ¡°How eh¡­ she didn¡¯t go honking about anything she promised to keep private did she?¡±


    The tall Fae smiles, ¡°Not with words, but she can be very¡­ revealing, at times. She¡¯s not used to the stress of our work. I¡¯m here without her knowledge, to check in on friends.¡±


    I feel ice go down my spine at the implications of her words. That¡­ that Awnya told another Fae about this. About my curses.


    Awnya grimaces, releases the big woman¡¯s hand. ¡°We¡¯re figuring things out. Can¡¯t say it¡¯s going super well right now, but¡­ I¡¯m not sure everyone would be comfortable with another person about.¡±


    Melivias¡¯s brow furrows, concerned and a bit confused. ¡°Did your father suddenly unearth old grudges?¡±


    ¡°No! Not at all. Just¡­¡± Awnya looks back at me, normal radiant eyes shadows with guilt. ¡°This is kinda family stuff. Need to work it out amongst ourselves.¡±


    Melivias looks back to Tretion and me, tilts her head. ¡°Family? And these two are¡­?¡±


    Her eyes don¡¯t glimmer with Amwella sight, but¡­ I can¡¯t help but glance away as I feel her consider blackened talons, ugly sword, and nervous watcher.


    ¡°A lover and a friend, here offering support unique to their abilities.¡±


    Black feathers seem to ruffle, similar to my Naranggas they seem to convey deeper frustrations and considerations.


    ¡°I know, I get it!¡± Awnya presses, ¡°Weird stuff, but¡­ trust me? Please? I¡¯ll sing you into this the moment I think you might make this all better?¡±


    Gray eyes tilt back to the red-haired Fae, consider her. ¡°What is so bad that you¡¯d hide this from me?¡±


    Awnya winces, I tense. Naranggas reach out and wraps about something without my direction. I barely notice when I tug something free of Tretion''s grasp with them.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to break promises on¨C¡±


    But she catches the confusion in the older Fae¡¯s eyes as they lock on something behind me. A sparkle, then they go wide as they understand what is holding it suspended in seemingly thin air.


    ¡°Awnya.¡± The older Fae says very very softly. ¡°Who is this?¡±


    A beat, Awnya looks back to see my mistake, winces. ¡°A lover, she¡¯s¡­ been through a lot and I¡¯m trying to help her. Please just¡­¡±


    ¡°Melivias.¡± Comes a gruff voice from the house. We all jerk over to see Ganzorig in the doorway, gruff and leaning against the frame. Haggard and furious.


    He doesn¡¯t speak beyond that, some command of Awnya stopping him. But¡­ the other Fae¡¯s eyes have already locked onto his torn and broken soul. Eyes go wide, and she¡¯s already pushing past his daughter to get to him.


    Twitch twitch. Need to curse another one.


    ¡°What happened?¡± She demands as she takes him in her arms.


    ¡°B¨C¡± He starts to murmur, but my rot maggots nibble a bit, and he stops.


    The feathered Fae sees this and nearly hisses in anger. ¡°Blighted!?!¡± Jerks to Awnya. ¡°Why is he not with Olits and Trtoo?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ not that simple.¡±


    ¡°Then make it simple. Now.¡± She demands, voice hard.


    I can see Awnya looking at me from the corner of her eye, a sort of pleading shamed look that I can¡¯t begin to want to understand right now. Not as I take a single step toward this new danger.


    Need to curse her. Make it quick and solid. Blood and soul and gaze if possible. If she¡¯s as old and nasty as this old goat I¨C


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Awnya whispers harshly, moves to my side and takes my arm. ¡°Just¡­ calm down. She¡¯s¨C¡±


    Melivias pauses, looks up to us. Eyes focus on my soul. Drink me in, seems to try and work out a sudden and annoying puzzle. ¡°Why do I know that name? You¡¯re Fae, but¡­ I¡¯ve¡­ Those growths are¡­¡±


    ¡°Please Melivias, for me.¡± Awnya keeps a grip on my arm, turns to the older Fae. ¡°This is really messy and¡­ and we need to keep this calm.¡±


    Her dad growls, fixes a glare on me. I glare right back. Tails grip and strangle at the sword, cut themselves a little and weep a few drops of soulfire.


    Melivias narrows her eyes. ¡°Did she have something to do with this?¡±


    ¡°Please,¡± Awnya presses, moving even more to stand between us. ¡°I need you to¡­¡±


    So distracted, we all don¡¯t see them until they already stand at the edge of this grove. My mother and her child returned.


    Melivias¡¯s eyes flit to them, see the state of the younger¡¯s soul. Go even wider. Then her eyes are back on me. ¡°Yuna¡¯s last child? That¡¯s how I know your name. A human child needing to be¨C¡±


    I¡¯m hissing then, taking a rolling step forward as the right talon bites into my palm to bleed dripping ichor onto the otherwise perfect green of this grove. Everyone goes very still, save Awnya.


    She turns, steps close, and takes my face between her hands. ¡°Lyra. Stop.¡± She demands.


    I end the sound of anger and betrayal and fear, but can¡¯t stop the talon from bleeding rotten blood. ¡°You¡­You promised not to tell anyone else.¡± I whisper at her. Golden eyes a sudden torment to my soul.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. But I¡­ I overstepped when I made that promise.¡± She pleads. ¡°I thought this would be easy, but it isn¡¯t. Our family is stubborn and just won¡¯t calm their tits. And your mother was a perfect choice to help Usete.¡±


    ¡°And Equin?¡± I reach up to take one wrist with my left talon, pull the other back as far as it will go. ¡°Just¡­ How many should I expect to¨C¡±


    Twitch twitch. Should have cursed her too. Should curse them all¡­


    I growl at the blighted thing.


    Never. Bite you off if you try that again!


    ¡°She was helping me figure things out!¡± She ignores the growl and tries to pull me closer, Amwella almost reaching for my core. ¡°I didn¡¯t think she would let anything slip.¡±


    I squeeze my eyes shut. Thendra¡¯s words are a balm and curse as real as any Lamentation.


    All others will scorn or ravage you.


    ¡°Lyra, we can still work this out.¡± She whispers, leans a forehead into mine. ¡°Just¡­ stay here. With me. Please. I can protect you. Show them we can fix this.¡±


    Fix¡­ This?


    The brand of Furthonois burns hot on my Amwella.


    Fix me.


    Handle me.


    Unmake me.


    Enslave me.


    I tug on her wrist, try to¡­ to pull her away as I squeeze my eyes shut. ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Awnya.¡± Melivias demands.


    My eyes snap open, and I spot the feathered Fae approaching now. Eyes worried and hard and careful. A predator approaching a snake that has coiled around her cub. ¡°Step back from her. Let me¨C¡±


    Awnya doesn¡¯t release me, just turns to glare at the woman. ¡°No. She¡¯s mine. Back off.¡±


    From the corner of my eye I can see my mother and her child staring in horror at my blighted talon as it bleeds such horrid rot.


    Her eyes flit to mine, a plea on her lips. ¡°Please.¡±


    Then an annoyed sigh huffs out from behind. ¡°Family gatherings are always such a... A bane to happiness.¡±


    Everyone pauses, eyes turn to stare past me in¡­ in a sort of pained confusion.


    Cold arms wrap around me as tendrils wriggle through my hair, and a whirl of green smoke engulfs everything.


    Then we¡¯re back in her manor. And over those first few horrid seconds everything from the past moments begins to drown me.


    Awnya¡­ just like the humans, just like every Fae I¡¯ve ever met¡­


    Wants to fix me.


    I scream and almost crumble to the floor inside the little damp chamber. Hard and loud and filled with all the things I¡¯d normally beg Thendra to let me weave into a song.


    Talons claw up and into my face as the blighted blood goes clean. Naranggas begin to drive the blade¡¯s tip into the floor in answer to my building fury.


    And now all the Fae will know about me¡­


    Will¡­


    Will try to find me and¡­


    And unweave me and¡­


    Tretion turns me around, drags talons from my flesh, and pulls me into a hug, cold arms holding me close.


    Just¡­ murmurs soft nothing into my howling fury.


    Crack Whip-Snap go my tails, tossing the stupid blade at the wall. It clatters before falling flatly as my tails weave and curl about her core, her glacially cold soul a beacon of refracted light of affections against the self-loathing I''m drowning in.


    And there we stand for the eternity it takes me to break under the pain of being seen as wrong again by a person I love.

 Chapter 55: Old Promise Songs, and When to Break Them

    <u>CW:</u>


    NEW POV TIME! Hope you enjoy this FIRST chapter from our golden-eyed Fae''s perspective!


    YES! I feel a thrum of hope as she embraces my lover. Together we can calm her! Show her the love and joys a life in the Fae-Wood can bring. Then the others will have to accept that our remedies of love and care will¨C


    But with a pained smile and those horrid words from the taller woman, Lyra is stolen away in a thundercloud of green mist. An incredibly odd and powerful Riftwalk normally exclusive to ancient beings or incredibly mature Fae, one that leaves no hint or trace as to her intended destination.


    A long stunned pause settles on us.


    Tretion couldn''t know how her words from before, despite their attempt at a sort of humor, can sting and harm a gathering of Fae.


    A suggestion that we are heralds of despair to our family is¡­ such a cruel thing to imply!


    But... I like Tretion.


    A lot, actually.


    When I¡¯d first seen her at Lyra¡¯s back my worry was that she was a creature of Thendra¡¯s. Some hook or threat or other to ensure Lyra would return to her. But¡­ her words, the way her eyes danced over my estranged lover.


    She desires Lyra to find comfort and happiness. Totally enraptured by our stubborn girl¡¯s desperate fight for peace in a dream that seems to chafe at her.


    Seeing Lyra fully clothed, bearing a weapon, and brimming with confidence I had hoped¡­ hoped that she¡¯d left Thendra. That maybe in her fight to keep that promise spoken last we met she¡¯d seen that Dreamer Blighted Monstrous Cunt for all that she was and left.


    Maybe saved another soul in the process.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits! I¡¯d drag the watcher into an Amwella dance of her life with us if she¡¯d helped convince Lyra to leave that horrid woman behind forever!


    But¡­ No. Only till sunrise.


    And my heart broke at the thought of losing her to that monster again.


    But... I''d sat with the watcher after¡­ after I had to leave my father to settle into his anger. Even with the curse dormant and my pleading for him to just¡­ Just stop! Watch. Think and observe how well positive things settle her stirring.


    But¡­ it didn¡¯t work! We''d shouted and yelled at each other like we''d never done before. Said things... things that still tear at my heart and soul.


    It could take days for me to show him what I see in her. Will take more now.


    So... to distract from the pain of it I''d asked her how she and Lyra met.


    ¡°Thendra sent her to kill or enslave me.¡± Tretion had said with such an odd smile. One that showed a wounded soul finally accepting some dreamer blighted happiness.


    Something I¡¯d treasured on Lyra in those quiet and perfect weeks after we¡¯d first met. ¡°But instead, she risked everything to achieve an impossible goal while keeping me safe. Showed me kindness that I haven¡¯t known since before my grandmother last turned her displeasure on me.¡±


    I didn¡¯t even need to ask who this watcher¡¯s kin was, and feared to know more about this thing Thendra had demanded of Lyra. So we''d talked about small things till my lover returned.


    Then, through all this messy argument with Melivias, Tretion remained so close to Lyra, despite the rot that begun to spill from her talon. And when she stepped up to wrap such kind and supportive arms around my lover I had felt such a spring of joy!


    But... no. She swept her away.


    And none of my rising fury is even partially aimed at her.


    She might have just saved Lyra in a way I couldn''t hope to match.


    I¡¯m whirling on them all, snarls of rage I¡¯ve never felt ripping through my throat. ¡°Are you all just¡­ completely blind? Raised from some deep sea fish or mole and wish to return to that?¡±


    Dad just¡­ glares at the spot where Lyra stood. Melivias is giving me a worried but contemplative stare. Usete seems like they did when first I brought them here; Mourning a loss they struggle to understand and think through properly.


    But Yuna, Lyra''s mother¡­ Her look of silent shame roils my anger.


    ¡°Kid¡­¡± My dad growls. Conveys in a few low rumbles an eternity of disappointment and worry and stubborn hatred for every choice I¡¯ve made since we parted at the Rorliras.


    I ignore him, turn my glare to Yuna.


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    Bringing her here was¡­ I¡¯d hope she¡¯d be the bridge Lyra needed. Or a guiding star to lead Usete and her back into peace. Help explain the wounded Fae¡¯s pain like none other could and bring Usete to believe in our way of healing. Then, In turn¡­ Usete could help me settle my dad¡¯s stubborn rage.


    But¡­ I can see in her eyes that she let them tear at each other with words while she just watched.


    Too worried or afraid or¡­ worse. I can see anger in her eyes, but¡­ one born of pain. She doesn''t blame Lyra for the curse on Usete. Even now.


    She knows Lyra as I do. Alone and scared and grasping at whatever happiness she can find. Any scars she lashed out to strike are done as many wounded of our forests would do.


    And as Fae we should know better than to corner and harass a wounded panther.


    ¡°Awnya,¡± Melivias begins to murmur, that old tone of a teacher wandering into her tone. ¡°We need to find her. Now. Where did she go? Tell me and I can follow and contain this¨C¡±


    I ignore her, advance on Yuna. ¡°Did you tell her?¡±


    A long pause. Everyone else misunderstands my question. But Yuna meets my eyes, a mother¡¯s sudden protectiveness rising up.


    ¡°No.¡± She says flatly. ¡°There wasn¡¯t a good moment for it here.¡±


    I hear movement, a whistle and chirping of soothing songs. Don¡¯t even need to look back to recognize Melivias¡¯s melody as she undoubtedly works to heal the scars left by Lyra¡¯s stirring.


    Smothering the rot and ruin that so easily bleed from my lover.


    ¡°And you¡¯re nearly six days alone with her before?¡± I press. ¡°You realize that I didn¡¯t rush back because I thought she¡¯d need time to¡­ to figure out what that could mean for her? Wanted to make sure you had time to find the words.¡±


    She gave me no promise, but I didn¡¯t think to ask for one. She seemed to understand my perspective and respected my opinion as the Fae trusted to help Lyra.


    But¡­ she¡¯d let Lyra leave instead. Let her go back to Theradas and fall into that monster''s arms. Let all this spiral into chaos as next I knew my lover stood ready to blight my dad with curses outside the Rorliras.


    I¡­ I hadn¡¯t told her much about Thendra until this past week. Didn¡¯t think she needed to know just how horrible I thought she might be.


    Lyra was playing at riftwalking, sure but¡­ but such songs normally take at least a decade to go from unstable nonsense to real reliable rifts! Even with Lyra''s talent for learning new songs I''d never dreamed she could get one open so quickly.


    She looks past me then, over to my old mentor¡¯s workings. We can all feel the rot, sense the horrid things it could fester and spread as. Especially here, at one of the beating Hearthfires of the dream.


    ¡°Not here, Awnya. It¡¯ll¡­ It will make things so much harder when they find her.¡± She whispers.


    I turn to watch Melivias rise and regard us with sudden curiosity. She means to move quickly and with speed. But will hesitate here if it means she can learn more about her prey. Good. I need to give Lyra as much time as possible without actually giving the old hawk anything to use to find her.


    ¡°I promised you my silence in this because I trusted you knew what was best for her. Then thought you meant to tell her when I explained how it would help her.¡± I take a careful step back. ¡°Not because I thought it should not be said."


    I wave a hand over the group. "And now you¡¯ve all laid out to her, again, that any Fae she meets will bring only more pain.¡±


    Usete grinds their teeth, obviously wants to say something. But my guess is that Lyra¡¯s new commands stop them. Much like my final words to my dad to hold his tongue. The only ones that can speak of my violet eyed lover now are disinclined to do so.


    Yuna winces, hurt by my words. But not surprised. ¡°I¡­ I only want her to find happiness. To¡­ to ignore that past and find¨C¡±


    ¡°So, shall I tell these fools or will you?¡± I turn away. ¡°Either works for me.¡±


    Melivias tilts her head, and even my dad pauses, eyes all a flicker with curiosity.


    Good. good good good!


    It¡­ I doubt this will change their minds. But they literally can¡¯t think any less of her now. Not after seeing how easily she can just¡­ bleed rot directly into the dream. And if we¡¯re lucky¡­ it might gain us an ally or two when they spread the knowledge!


    Get a few older Fae very very interested in helping and teaching her.


    Yuna surprises me then, steps up and grabs my arm in a fury and snarls. ¡°Don¡¯t you dare!¡±


    I turn to regard her. ¡°Why? Why keep this from her? Why not celebrate what she¡¯s overcome. Change her shame and self-hatred into pride and admiration?¡±


    ¡°I will not have you speaking those agonies back into her life. Not after¡­ not after she has been fortunate enough to forget them.¡±


    I sigh, annoyed. ¡°She remembers why the humans hated her, Yuna. Even if she didn¡¯t talk to you about it.¡±


    "She¡­ I know she didn¡¯t like to talk about them." That breaks some part of her, face twisted in such shame at my words. ¡°But¡­ But this is so much worse than that!¡±


    ¡°Yeah, because taking four years to master the songs it took the rest of us like¡­ ten to even grasp was totally just people''s thoughts and not a deep loathing of her own body.¡± I roll my eyes and reach down to pull her loosened hand off my arm. ¡°She told me exactly why they chased her off. Just... Doesn''t remember the-¡±


    My words just... cut off. I have to take a breath, unable to break this promise song I gave her all those nights ago. Despite my fury and desire now to shout this last horrid part of Lyra''s past to this group.


    ¡°Awnya,¡± Yuna hisses through a whisper. ¡°Just¡­ let this stay lost and buried to her. If it''s not come back to her after all these years then it probably never will!¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°She deserves to know. It¡¯ll help her settle and calm. Maybe¡ª¡±


    ¡°Or finish breaking her!¡± Yuna pleads with such a shrill tone. ¡°Why can¡¯t we just¡­ find her and deal with the pains of today? Why are you so desperate to drown her with more agony?¡±


    I flinch back, suddenly horrified at why Yuna might not be fighting harder to help Lyra. To... To keep her safe. Why¡­ why she thought the Dead Dreamer¡¯s wood might be¡­


    I glare at her. ¡°Tell me that¡¯s not what you thought might happen.¡±


    A pause.


    ¡°When you told her to run, twelve years ago. Tell me. Right now. That you didn¡¯t even have that thought when you told her to go there.¡± My voice is quiet now, but hard and boiling with obvious anger. ¡°Else I¡¯ll break my promise and never speak to you again, Yuna.¡±


    Such a cruel threat. Even to one I¡¯ve only grown to know well in these past weeks. For a Fae to offer silence to another is the worst kind of spoken disdain for their remaining time amidst the Dream.


    But¡­ if she really tried this¡­ she deserves nothing less. To hope that Lyra might return to¡ª


    Yuna looks away, ashamed. ¡°I didn¡¯t hope for it. No. I¡­ I hoped she would¡­ Would maybe...¡±


    Her answer isn¡¯t as bad as I feared, but nor is it right. I step back then, and take a deep breath.


    This is only the second person I have ever truly wanted to strike in anger.


    ¡°Wonderful.¡± I spit, then turn to my elders. Level them my hardest glare. ¡°I mean to find and help her. She is mine. And I will bleed my last drop of soulfire before I will let anyone take her songs or form.¡±


    The threat hurts my dad, but it¡¯s a familiar pain to him now. Melivias¡¯ eyes go wide, but¡­ she has praised me as her equal in our work for nearly five years. Maybe¡­


    I look to her. ¡°Old Hawk, Will you assist me in any way I require? Trust in your own teachings and my judgment?¡±


    She hesitates, looks back to my dad then to Usete. ¡°What would you ask of me, little sparrow?¡±


    * * *


    The manor is quiet as I push through its big double doors, immediately calling out.


    ¡°Lyra!¡±


    A pause. Nothing. So I begin to storm up the steps to the one place I dread to find her. Fingers grip my dagger¡¯s hilt as I move through the hallways. Don¡¯t even hesitate as I get to Thendra¡¯s room. Find myself caught between relief and worry at not finding Lyra in the arms of that big cunt.


    I can only twitch at horrid imagining of how she must treat her between those spiced quilts.


    ¡°Lyra!¡± I call out again. Spend another half hour carefully moving through the manor, calling out for her. But¡­ finding nothing. No Thendra, no Lyra.


    Just... rumbling considerations from this living beast Thendra somehow tamed.


    It was only after I left the Twilight Court that I¡¯d realized my mistake. The¡­ the word I¡¯d used.


    Fix.


    How could I be SO stupid!?!


    It¡¯s¡­ I wasn''t even referring to her! More the stupid situation our family kept pushing us into. But¡­ But from those eyes that dance and glimmer such a perfect shade of violet I can now see that words like that need to be avoided.


    Thendra knew this. Back in this place''s horrid darkness as our family tried to drag her away. She¡¯d struck that cord in my lover¡¯s heart true.


    ¡°You do not need fixing, My Lyra.¡± She had thrummed. And I could very nearly hear my lover fall deeper into her then.


    Lyra was already hers, but that¡­ that had hooked her soul even deeper.


    Even if it was a lie of the foulest kind!!! Thendra had spent weeks and weeks changing and twisting her into whatever blighted shape she needed. But¡­ what that is? What she desires my lover to become¡­ I can only shiver at.


    I growl and twirl my dagger about as I consider my options¡­


    Not here. Not at her mother¡¯s grove. Not at my home in the Midday court.


    So¡­ That leaves two choices. Either that Watcher took her to some odd unknown location, or she¡¯s already with Thendra.


    I growl, annoyed at the best chance to track her, and begin to follow the warbling thrumming tune that seems to follow Thendra, her first Reaver, and their enslaved Watcher beyond this Dreamer Blighted manor and into the pathways of Theradas¡­ and beyond.

 Chapter 56: Her Beloved Bound

    <u>CW:</u>


    Sex and BIG emotions.


    When I become aware again, capable of thoughts beyond those of pain and heartbreak, I am wrapped in silken sheets and cold arms and¡­ bubbles?


    My Naranggas cuddle something tighter and¡­ and I realize what¡¯s calmed me.


    I am drowning in Tretion¡¯s emotions.


    Her Amwella a song of cold care and possessive worry against the raging inferno of torment I¡¯d fallen into.


    A small lilting core of glacial truth seems to¡­ to dance even amidst the rot maggots at her core. A thing I can only feel, but not read. Something of my curse she chooses to cling to at the heart of her everything.


    We¡¯re laying on her big bed. Forms curled around each other as the blighted talon sits behind me. As far from her as possible, wrapped in unrealized bubbles by her manor.


    I can feel her awareness shift as my Naranggas wriggle a bit. Sense her drift into¡­ into more active things and thoughts as her head tendrils begin to curl and wriggle through my hair and along my scalp. Caressing and petting and just... burying me in wonderful sensations.


    And¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits that just drags me into pulling her closer and wanting to return to oblivion and soft nothings.


    And so I do for a time.


    But¡­ eventually something begins to¡­ to prickle at me as I bask in this pool of cool desires.


    A¡­ A worry? Something¡­ something I¡­ I¡¯m forgetting?


    ¡°Sunrise.¡±


    And then I¡¯m panicking again. Gone from still and nearly asleep to a flailing mass of terror.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, it¡¯s okay!¡± Tretion coos softly, but doesn¡¯t release as she sits up amidst the silken sheets with me. ¡°You''re safe. You''re in my manor.¡±


    ¡°S¨C sunrise!¡± I blubber out. Not¡­ not fighting her slender cold arms or soft tendrils. Just¡­ trying to slip away as we sit up together. ¡°I¡­ I have to be back by sunrise!¡±


    A pause, understanding causes Tretion¡¯s soul to flinch in sudden worry and¡­ and other annoyed things.


    Not at me¡­ but¡­


    ¡°It¡¯s barely sunset on the day we left.¡± She assures me.


    My everything sags. A wash of panic gone and¡­ and¡­


    Horrible memories begin to tear at me again.


    But¡­ All I have left is slumped despair.


    Barely a few hours among the Fae¡­ and I¡¯ve lost my family, and let word of my wrongness spread beyond my control. The curses I laid to protect my happiness are now a beacon for others that might wish to come and snatch it away.


    ¡°Thendra¡¯s going to¡­¡±


    All others will scorn or ravage you.


    ¡°Lyra, you¡¯re safe.¡± Tretion pulls back after I¡¯ve trailed off, but holds me close still. Her soul sings of protective fury. ¡°No one. Fae or Reaver or Dreadweave themselves can come here. Not unless I show them to the outer gate myself.¡±


    I huff. I¡¯m not sure I could pull my Naranggas away even if I tried right now. Her cooling protective affections thrum through me like chilled water against summer¡¯s scorch.


    The bubbles sort of¡­ slurp around me. Not solid, just¡­ close. Hovering nearby in case¡­ in case of... what?


    Oh...


    In case I need more hugs.


    ¡°Thank you. For¡­ for pulling us away. For saving me.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but wriggle in¡­ things¡­ as I feel her core glow at my words. A little worry chipped off the edge of her soul''s thrumming emotions.


    Head tendrils continue to play with my hair as my own Naranggas squeeze and hug her soul.


    This¡­ she¡¯s content to let me sit for a while, but¡­ eventually a hand wanders up to my cheek. She doesn¡¯t pull me into anything, just¡­ lets me enjoy the cold and soft skin of her palm.


    I only realize I¡¯m leaning into her after we¡¯ve sat still and quiet a little while longer.


    ¡°Lyra?¡± She whispers very very gently. So soft I would miss it if I wasn¡¯t warned by her soul''s siren song.


    I¡­ I can guess at her question. Or¡­ or at least the chill winds that move behind it.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not sure¡­¡± Naranggas wriggle and tighten in contradiction to my words, almost... No not almost. They are trying to pull her closer.


    And her soul hums in such enjoyment at their touch.


    So I just... I take a deep breath and decide to give her my everything.


    Or¡­ At least whatever is left of me tonight.


    I twist to take her hand in my good talon, almost flinching at the worry that stutters through her soul''s hope that I mean to push her away, then gently press my lips to her wrist.


    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    Her body goes still, the other hand pauses its gentle slow caresses on my side. Even her head tendrils seem to pause. But this cold watcher¡¯s soul shows me what the motion means.


    She is roiling with passion and desire. Coiled and anticipating, but¡­ she¡¯s also careful. Patient and curious about what I mean to do.


    Not wanting to assume she knows exactly what my touches of affection mean and take an action that could startle or scare me.


    I begin to kiss then nibble on her wrist, enjoying the texture of her scaled skin.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not sure what I can offer after sunrise.¡± I tilt my gaze to find her pretty crimson eyes fixed on mine. ¡°But¡­ you can take anything of me that you want before then.¡±


    Her soul melts a bit. Both in more of that wonderous passionate desire, but¡­ also in sadness.


    Then¡­ the other hand wanders up to take my face as it solidifies into a determined focus.


    ¡°I¡¯ll take anything you wish to give me.¡± She leans down and murmurs, tendrils curl around me tighter. ¡°And offer you my everything in return.¡±


    Lips of cold press to mine before I can decipher the songs of her soul.


    Gentle and filled with the patience of a coiled hunter as she toys with her prey. She¡¯s content to dance and entice me into leaning into her affections. Into¡­ into chasing her kiss as she pulls back a touch.


    Even lets out a few soft humming sounds as my talon drifts shyly up to touch her arm and explore the twistings of her flesh.


    When we pause and separate for a moment, I¡¯m so dizzy with her. Head a muddle of my own desires fueled by her frozen soulfire¡¯s hungers, its growling thrum furious and storming now as my Naranggas pull her ever closer.


    I¡¯m not sure when she pulled me into her lap, or when I curled my legs around her. But betwixt her own Amwella¡¯s siren call and my own broken emotions, it doesn¡¯t matter. Next I know my left talon¡¯s fingers are up and around her head, tangling and playing and squeezing at her tendrils and neat little horns.


    And I¡¯m lost in the scent and texture of her soft lips and wonderfully scaled skin.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits the chill of her is intoxicating too! A strange thing I¡¯d never think to crave after so many roiling nights of spiced warmth.


    I press closer, and end up annoyed that I¡¯m still wrapped in so many Dreamer Blighted Layers of nonsense! Almost¡­ almost crave the light clothing she gave me before.


    The thought makes me pause, but only for a moment.


    Then her hands drift to the clasps and straps that hold everything fast to me. ¡°Would you like these off?¡±


    Her question sends a thrill of desire through me, ¡°Y¡­ yes.¡±


    She chuckles into my lips, and we spend an annoying amount of time trying to remain as close as possible while also removing all our layers. Thank the Blighted Dreamer my Naranggas don¡¯t worry about cloth and let me stay snuggled that way at least.


    And then there is nothing between our souls but flesh.


    I can¡¯t help but shudder in such wonderful pleasure as our chests press together for the first time. Her cooled scaled skin a wonderful rush against the thrumming heat of my breasts.


    She murmurs as I just¡­ press against her. A little worry flicking in her soul. I pull her closer with everything, legs and arm and soul tails in answer. Feel her thrum with a sudden rippling rush of¨C


    Then she¡¯s lifting, twisting, and laying us back down into the silken sheets. I let my hold loosen just enough for her to move about. Lips press into mine for a few drawn out moments before trailing down my jawline and neck and then she just¡­ pulls back.


    I look up to find her just staring down at me. Soul thrumming with desire and worry as she spots my first curse still as angry and red as the day I carved it onto my collarbone.


    ¡°Lyra¡­¡± She murmurs. ¡°Is¡­ Are you okay?¡±


    Her eyes have been alight with Amwella sight since we got back, but now they seem to focus. Trying to understand this scar.


    I nod. ¡°It¡¯s¡­old. Can¡¯t hurt me. Never again.¡±


    Her soul flutters, then¡­ settles. Then she¡¯s leaning down to kiss the spot. I stiffen, talon goes rigid as her cold lips gently touch the blood brand.


    Not¡­ this isn¡¯t a sexual thing. Just¡­ gentle and¡­ and¡­


    Tears well up as I turn my face to the side. At this gesture more intimate than¡­ than anything I¡¯ve felt since Awnya¡¯s embrace.


    Maybe more than even that.


    She senses this, and trails her working back up to my face. Showers soft gentle lips to wipe away my tears. This¡­ this only causes more to bubble up as her soul thrums with¡­ with such possessive desire for more of me. Even more of this.


    No worry, no annoyance at my sudden choking sobs. Just¡­


    Love.


    The realization hurts for some reason.


    Scares me on some deep level I can only express through my bubbling sobs and little whimpering apologies.


    She can¡¯t feel this for me!


    She¡­ she barely knows me!


    Only¡­ only¡­


    But she only thrums with that¡­ that blighted emotion again!


    Drowns me in all the things as my Naranggas drink in the song from her soul. Murmuring soft coos and affectionate nothings as her lips dance over me.


    ¡°Pl¨C Please¡­¡± I stammer. ¡°You should just...¡±


    She pauses, but ignores my pleas. Continues to smother me with soft affections as my Naranggas squeeze tighter and tighter.


    Suddenly Tretion lets out a little gasp and pauses. I jerk in horror as a bit of soulfire begins to leak from this watcher¡¯s soul, and is drunk greedily by the tendrils.


    I growl and fight to loosen their grip. Even start to pull them away. Horrified at the new little wounds my tails have bruised her soul with.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry!¡± I whimper in a panic. ¡°J¨C just take a bite. Slice off whatever you need to heal. Tear or¡­ Or rip or¡­ whatever!¡±


    "Lyra, I''m fine." She just¡­ hums, the pain of my embrace a sudden rush to her soul.


    Trails a torturously slow path of kisses down and across my body. Breasts and tummy and everything in between! Savoring every inch, leaving nothing untouched. Both by her lips and the mess of tendrils drooping down from her head to snuggle and caress the skin she¡¯s moved past.


    I tremble, letting her work and thrumming desires calm me.


    She¡¯s fine. She¡­ she¡¯ll take a bite soon and heal. It''s barely a wound at all. Just¡­ just let her take however big a chunk she wants¡­


    As she finds my hips and dances kisses and nibbles across them too, I am wriggling and twisting. Good talon reaching out to grip at a cluster of head tendrils, the other blighted one tearing at the sheets as bubbles bob and shift around it.


    Then she¡¯s at my inner thighs, nibbling and kissing and¡­ and just¡­


    ¡°You crafted for yourself such a wonderful body, Lyra.¡± She murmurs into me, so close¡­ so so close and¡­


    I''m shaking again, and at its height her tongue is at my second lips. Dancing carefully and slowly... So slowly. Like¡­ like she¡¯d break me if she presses any harder.


    As if my body is this perfectly unblemished flower.


    Despite¡­ despite how ravaged she guesses I¡¯ve been.


    Up and down, soft and teasing, she enjoys every piece of the soft flesh as her tendrils wriggle horribly tantalizing patterns across my thighs and hips. I¡¯m moaning now, whimpering pleas and soft murmurs. Sometimes begging her to be so much rougher.


    To bite, to tear, to¡­ to make me bleed!


    But all she gives me is more gentle affections. Hands holding my legs apart while tongue and tendril bring me to a glacial brink of burning horny madness.


    ¡°Please¡­ Tretion¡­¡± I whimper. ¡°Just¡­ just¡­¡±


    But... Somehow, this watchers'' gentle workings bring me to such a bubbling eruption. Made even stronger by her soul¡¯s howling joy at the way my hip''s arc and shudders, then fall back down to the soft sheets in a sudden exhaustion I normally feel after three or four feedings.


    Even my Naranggas droop and sag, leaving only a single tendril to curl around her chilled core.


    Then she is back up to my neck, crushing lips into mine, Amwella reaching out and¡­


    Using a Naranggas as a tether to draw as close as possible, her soul grasps at mine.


    And my afterglow becomes a sobbing thing as she absorbs my mess of emotions. I feel my Amwella melt into hers, a gentle kiss of soulfire, then she''s pulling back with a piece of me painted across her soul.


    Sending a sudden second rush of pleasure through my everything without even a whisper of pain.


    I tremble in such cold euphoria as her lips dance over mine. Then she presses to me again, drowning herself in my sorrows and joys as her Amwella mushes into mine once more.


    Not to feed, but to feel.


    I fear she¡¯ll jerk away. Pained by my¡­ my muddle of fear and agony tainting the pleasure and need for her touch. The day¡¯s failures have left me so raw and bare. And with only one Naranggas around her soul all those horrid truths are beginning to consume me.


    ¡°Th¨C thank¨C¡± I try to say. But a desire to apologize chokes me.


    She coos a burst of such affection at what she feels behind those words. Her soul gives mine a little squeeze as her lips trail up to my eyes. Kissing away the fresh tears.


    ¡°I love you, Lyra.¡± She whispers so softy.


    A flutter of warmth amidst a dead part of me stirs and drags such pain through my soul.


    Like the first time Thendra called me a slave. Something should audibly crack at that word.


    I stammer, ¡°Tretion¡­ I¡­ I can¡¯t¨C¡±


    She interrupts me with a finger to my blubbering lips, as a tendril pushes a stray clump of hairs aside.


    ¡°I know. I¡¯m not asking you to.¡±


    Another crack.


    ¡°I wanted you to have someone tell you this.¡± She murmurs. ¡°To let you know that they find you to be perfect and worthy of love.¡±


    And another.


    ¡°But I¡¯m not!¡± I force past her soft finger, ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m blighted and horrible and barely Fae! Just¡­ just¡­¡±


    She sighs and shoves our Amwella closer. Letting her own rush of annoyance and love and sheer Dreamer Woven determination to smother me with her soul¡¯s cold certainty.


    Then she makes sure I''ve locked eyes with her and growls softly. ¡°You¡¯ll not insult my Bound Beloved again.¡±


    I freeze, confused and scared and... and feeling the rest of that cracking part of my soul break away. ¡°B¨C bound? Wh¨C¡±


    ¡°You wove yourself into my very soul, Lyra.¡± She purrs, and such joy and hunger rolls through her. ¡°You bound me to you tighter than anyone else could.¡±


    Wondrously cold¡­ things roll down my spine as I consider the words of my curse she''s kept close.


    ¡°B¨C but¡­ I¡­ You aren¡¯t¡­¡±


    She pulls back to lock those perfect smoldering eyes on mine. ¡°You told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was yours. Always and forever.¡±


    I whimper, realizing which part of my curse I see buried deep in her core. The command she¡¯s chosen to keep. Despite my freeing her from all it''s bindings.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Tretion. I¡­ I¡­¡±


    But her soul roils with joy at the truth of her words. Buries my guilt and shame beneath the depths of her love. I can¡¯t stop my Naranggas from reaching back up to weave themselves about her.


    ¡°I choose to keep this. You gave me that freedom.¡± Tretion grins and holds me together. The thrumming love coming off her Amwella acting as tether against the storm that are my soul¡¯s attempts to ravage my mind with today¡¯s pain. ¡°And I''ve chosen to entangle myself with you forevermore.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m already bound. To¡­ to Thendra and¡­¡±


    No.


    Not to Awnya.


    The watcher just chuckles. ¡°I¡¯m not a possessive woman, Lyra. I can share your soul with as many metamours and lovers as you deem to take over the course of our long lives.¡±


    My mind balks at the¡­ all the things. At her willingness to share me and¡­ and the sudden wide landscape of time that I might live though.


    And in a fury of my own unspoken affections, I drag this watcher down to my lips and return the pleasure she''s given me as many times as she can bear before the sunrise.

 Chapter 57: Storms that Devour The Sea

    <u>CW:</u>


    black eck and goopy Reavers and more Awnya POVs


    I move through at least fourteen rifts before I find their songs again.


    Honestly, I¡¯m lucky to have been able to narrow it down this much. There is nearly an eternity of bubbles of solid ground within the Dream, and even if most of them are blighted wastes, tracking these Reavers and their watcher took every lesson my elders taught me.


    It is a thing of howling storms and cracking horrors, this rift of storms.


    Large abandoned stone structures jutting from an endless sea that can do nothing else but brace themselves against the dream¡¯s growling fury. Cut rock and rickety driftwood bridges connecting chaotic pathways between the spires.


    I expect their trail to stutter out here, lost amidst this cacophony, but¡­ no. It¡¯s a light betwixt rage and wroth¡­


    That worries me. Almost¡­ seems intentional.


    I draw my blade, begin to murmur my litanies of concealment, and proceed around this trail like a hawk. Circling around and through it, I find myself at times needing to navigate unnecessary towers and tunnels to avoid following the direct route. The walls wail of power lost and untangled from its maker''s grasp, of ancient madness and worse things at the foundations of this blighted rift.


    But then I catch the stench of Theradas spices and know I am very very close.


    This last room is large, a perfect dome carved from the edge of a castle. Its ceiling is cracked on one side and opens to a sea slaughtering a storm. Its center is dominated by a large perfectly cut circular chasm.


    Along each wall sits endless bookshelves, and while most of their tomes are long rotted and gone, many sit unmoved by the dream¡¯s passing. Ugly terrible things crafted of flesh and worse. Beneath their covers I can hear the wailing of parasites that scream for freedom. Pleading for new minds to worm themselves into and lay their wretched eggs.


    These dream stirrings may be lost and contained here, but caution is never a bad idea. So I add a whistling tune of peace to my melody.  And as I finish descending the steps, I spot them.


    The big cunt sits on a piece of fallen stone beside the chasm, focus transfixed on some small piece of jewelry in her hand. While her side bitch with the bow stands at her back.


    No sign of the watcher, no sign of Lyra.


    Thendra seems to¡­ well not perk up. But shift. A host aware but waiting for their guest to speak. The other turns to face the door in a curious gesture.


    I want to growl, but¡­ for Lyra I will keep this as peaceful for now. I just hope¡­ hope that the lack of her song trails in this rift are a good sign.


    And I need to have a few more words with this Dreamer Blighted Cunt.


    I pour some Amwella into my blade, and allow my songs to fade as I speak. ¡°Where¡¯s Lyra?¡±


    A long pause, punctuated by a few cracks of the storms ever death raging outside. Jade eye flit over to me, calm. Brow furrows in a sort of¡­ polite confusion that doesn¡¯t feel real.


    ¡°Spending time among the Fae.¡± She purrs.


    My lip twitches, almost a snarl. ¡°She left in a bit of a mood, is she here with you? Did you bring her to this place?¡±


    Thendra smiles, a knowing thing. ¡°If I wanted her here she would be at my side.¡±


    I take a deep breath. ¡°She left with the watcher, Tretion. Where is her home?¡±


    Thendra thrums laughter. ¡°An ancient manor settled between rifts. Impossible to reach except by those who have stood at its doorstep.¡±


    A pause. I¡­ huh. Well that¡¯s both annoying¡­ and¡­ ugh I hate it but Tretion will take care of Lyra.


    And if no one can reach her till she¡¯s ready to leave¡­ That¡¯s¡­ not horrible.


    ¡°Is there anything else I can provide you?¡± She murmurs, eyes drifting back to the chasm. Which I now see is filled with¡­ Eck some kind of black guck that reeks of¡­ something. Not blight or rot. But¡­ gross. ¡°You find me away from my estate. Unable to play the role of gracious host.¡±


    I glance around. ¡°Gotta say big girl¡­ seeing you here is definitely on that list of things that worry me. You¡¯re not bringing anything too¡­ dream stiry back are you? Dooon¡¯t think that would be wise.¡±


    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.


    Thendra purrs. ¡°Only Reavers, and you, will leave this room and rift.¡±


    ¡°Alright¡­¡± I drawl, flitting my blade about. ¡°So what are you doing here?¡±


    The black eck bubbles a bit. And I can¡¯t help but begin a subtle melody of focus and calm. My harmony on the edge of a spike of body rush to help me move in a hurry.


    ¡°Waiting for my Reavers to return to me.¡± She hums as she closes her hand around what I now can tell is a ring.


    Against all training and better judgment I activate my Amwella sight. And get to watch as those bubbles pop and stir. Arms and limbs and rippling soulfire begin to break the surface.


    Ten tall women, skin pitch and steaming with the fire of fresh creation, rise from the black muck. Souls and eyes alight with hunger and focus.


    Some are bald, but¡­ I can¡¯t help but flinch as a few dozen eyestalks rise up to regard Thendra. The Reaver at her back stands silent and stoic with her bow.


    The most horrifying part? All very very quiet. No sound of slurping liquid, no growls, no songs, just¡­ quiet birth.


    ¡°What is this!?!¡± I hiss and raise my blade.


    ¡°Peace, Fae.¡± Thendra purrs, but does not rise as her new brood crawls from the chasm. Black goo seems to fade and pass into nothing as they move to sit on the granite around her. None even look at me as they shake themselves.


    It¡¯s then that I notice¡­ huh. Thendra¡¯s soul seems¡­ well still huge. Way bigger than these new Reavers, but¡­ smaller. Then I watch as a single tendril of her Amwella pulls free of the muck, then settles back amidst her dancing clusters.


    Then an even more horrible thought hits me. ¡°Thendra¡­ what happened to the watcher you brought with you?¡±


    She just¡­ smiles.


    I let the anger and fury bleed into my little songs, forcing the melody thrum with the weight of the storm clouds. ¡°What did you do?¡±


    A purring laugh, low and without even a hint of worry. ¡°Bearing a sudden love for the Matron¡¯s brood?¡±


    ¡°You know blighted well why I¡¯m asking!¡± I shout.


    Thendra sighs, ¡°No, Fae. This is not for her, nor any of your kind.¡±


    ¡°How can I trust that?¡±


    ¡°Would I not have brought her with me today if it was?¡±


    I hesitate. Not sensing a lie in her words. Then turn off my Amwella sight, look around. ¡°I¡­ Thendra what is this? These books reek with contained blight, but¡­ not that pool, none of you either¡­¡±


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t touch those old things,¡± Then she¡¯s rising, purring a command. The Reavers stand. ¡°Now¡­ let¡¯s discuss my Lyra. I suspect her visit went poorly?¡±


    I bristle at the possessive words as I twitch back, considering¡­ ¡°That¡¯s one way to phrase it.¡±


    Thendra looks out toward the storm. Purrs a soft thing. ¡°Let¡¯s return to Theradas. There I can be a good host.¡±


    *    *    *


    Good talon rests on the glowing runes of the gateway, Tretion¡¯s cool hand atop it. She murmurs a few nonsense words while the glyphs pulse and hum. A song that used to bother my eyes and ears turns soft and friendly. Resonates in perfect harmony to a Fae word I already know¡­


    Home.


    ¡°There.¡± She murmurs. ¡°It will open for you now.¡±


    She draws her hand back, but¡­ only to rest on my back as she stands behind me. Then, with a little effort of will, I focus. The hard unbreakable stone flickers, then vanishes. Revealing the small damp chamber behind.


    Neither of us move. I just stare at the blade that still rests on the floor.


    Two of my Naranggas still cling to her, unwilling to pull free even as she helped me dress and brought me back here. So I can feel the conflict between her words and emotions.


    ¡°It¡¯s almost sunrise.¡± Her lips whisper while her Amwella shivers and wriggles in worry.


    No movement, her hand finds my good talon, squeezes it. Not¡­ not in a possessive way, not as if to hold me here, just¡­ to convey some complex things at the edge of her despair.


    She¡¯d promised to take me back when I awoke again. Swore to remain at my side for as long as I needed, and was certain the curse would satiate Thendra¡¯s annoyances at having another guest in her manor. Or¡­ if I was tired of her, she would wait here as my beloved bound.


    I couldn¡¯t stop the tears then, wanted to beg her to just¡­ forget about me!


    Find a better happiness than I can give!


    But the words of her lips matched the dedication etched across her soul, and I could no more try and change them that reweave the stars.


    The silence has stretched, enough that I can imagine Thendra¡¯s displeasure beginning to scorch my soul.


    But¡­


    ¡°The Fae¡­ they won¡¯t stop.¡± I murmur. ¡°And¡­ and we only barely survived the last time they came for me.¡±


    Both hands take my talon then, Amwella hardens in support. A lover promising to face my fears with me.


    ¡°But¡­¡± I can¡¯t stop my voice from cracking a bit. ¡°But If I stay away, then¡­ They won¡¯t have a reason to return. They¡¯ll leave Thendra alone.¡±


    And Awnya can¡­ she can focus on helping her father.


    Will forget about the messed up Fae girl she found trying to riftwalk.


    A sudden glimmer, a reflection of hope dances across the soul I cling to. She doesn¡¯t speak. Not when everything she desires balances at the edge of such a dangerous chasm.


    Have to be certain though. I Won¡¯t¡­ won¡¯t risk this wondrous watcher¡¯s life and soul again!


    ¡°You said no one else could come here?¡± I close my eyes and just¡­ focus. Need to feel the truth in her answer.


    The glimmer is refracted, now a wash of furious light that is beginning to reach every part of her Amwella.


    ¡°If my mother, grandmother, or cousin Zitra still lived, then they could come and go as they pleased.¡± She whispers with such control, fighting so hard to keep the glacial tide of her emotions out of her voice. ¡°But¡­ No. This manor was specifically kept as a sort of¡­ safe house. A place for our kind to use as a last bastion if our enemies overwhelmed us. Given to me to manage in exile as our family grew to such strength that such a thing was believed impossible.¡±


    ¡°What about Fae songs? Or¡­ or something like Furthonois?¡±


    She laughs, ¡°Worse things have tried. No. Our manor drifts in the endless oceans between the rifts. It¡¯s less a matter of strength than finding a single grain of sand in the pitched depths of a toxic sea.¡±


    Our manor. I can¡¯t stop a tremble at her words and certainty.


    ¡°Okay.¡± I whisper.


    A pause, and spark of ignited hope in her soul.


    ¡°Okay?¡±


    I wave blighted talon, exert a bit of will, and turn to hug her as the gateway solidifies.


    The elation of her soul at my unspoken decision nearly drowns me.


    *    *    *


    ¡°You¡¯re sure you told her sunrise?¡± I hiss, looking out at the open street again.


    I stand outside Thendra¡¯s blighted manor with the big cunt herself. It¡¯s well past midday now, and I¡¯ve asked that question a dozen times already. Thendra didn¡¯t reply to the others either, and she doesn¡¯t care to make even a sound now. I turn to glare back at her annoyed Jade eyes.


    At me or Lyra¡­ I¡¯m not sure.


    Probably both.


    I told her the barest basics of what happened in the Twilight Court. We adjusted the curses, got a few other Fae to help settle things. An old mentor of mine has taken over their care and will check on my work every few days here at the start.


    Less if Lyra improves.


    ¡°So why did my Lyra flee?¡± Thendra had purred, like she already knew the answer.


    I had sighed. ¡°Everyone was¡­ kinda freaking out. Our initial attempts went poorly. Tretion pulled her out when things started to escalate.¡±


    Otherwise we¡¯ve not spoken much as we wait.


    I spit, trying again to get the foul taste of this city out of my mouth. ¡°How can I contact this watcher?¡±


    A long pause as the Reaver considers. ¡°Previously, I had left a message with one of her kin, requesting they pass it on when next Tretion left her manor to visit.¡±


    ¡°Wonderful.¡± I hiss. Tretion''s house is like¡­ having a home buried at the bottom of an ocean. Impossible to swim to and even more impossible to riftwalk to unless you already know where it¡¯s at!


    Another long pause. I huff. Find myself¡­ conflicted. On one side of my soul I scream to find her again. To¡­ to apologize and¡­ and tell her that she is perfect and doesn¡¯t need fixing, only¡­ only healing.


    The other part of me¡­ the quiet thing of sadness at seeing what this dream has laid upon her life. Wishes for Tretion to offer her the healing I didn¡¯t. To¡­ to keep her manor sealed to all outsiders.


    To draw Lyra into years of smothering love and endless affections she so desperately needs.


    I could see the watcher¡¯s desires for those things. And¡­ I hope they are mirrored in my lover¡¯s soul.


    But¡­ I¡¯d need to speak with Melivias about this. She won¡¯t be happy to hear that Lyra¡¯s hiding between the rifts.


    Even if it turns out to be the best thing for the girl.


    I fiddle at my blade¡¯s hilt. ¡°Who was this watcher that helped you contact Tretion?¡±

 Chapter 58: Waking Nightmares and the Fae that follow Them

    <u>CW:</u>


    Mental/Soul panic attacks. Memory of soul torture. Time moving forward. BEG chapter.


    My first Waking Nightmare came on the third day.


    The manor has this enormous room that¡¯s like¡­ mostly a bath! The water never cools either so it¡¯s just always perfect.


    After a brief distraction of soft scales and kisses as I straddled her for a bit, we pulled apart.


    Tretion is relaxing along one side, and I''ve waded out to sort of¡­ swim about. It isn¡¯t deep, barely up to my chest. And as I slide away, giggling at something she said, my Naranggas slip free since the first time I arrived here.


    I¡¯m able to dunk under the water and enjoy the smothering warmth of it all for a few moments before the lack of cold delight takes its toll.


    I come back up and¡­ and¡­


    I¡¯m back in Thendra¡¯s bath, and my dark goddess has given me a command¡­


    A bark of laughter, ¡°Fine then. Sing to me the word of this curse, nothing else.¡±


    I try to follow it on terrified reflex, forgetting where I am and drawing up my Amwella. Forcing the horrid words through clenched teeth, and the curse is biting with all the furiosity of a jungle cat as I try to obey my dark goddess.


    Looking back up to her I try to convey everything through my eyes.


    Please. Please make me stop. Please! I¡¯m sorry. I won¡¯t do it again. I¡¯m yours now, I understand that! Please tell me to stop. Please please please please please¨C


    It¡¯s the bath that stops the curse''s bite when I slip and tumble to the bottom, and end up inhaling a lungful of water.


    But¡­ it doesn¡¯t save me from the nightmare.


    Doesn¡¯t stop the hungry Reavers or hateful Fae from clawing at my mind. Simply¡­ simply wraps me in paralyzing choking agony before Tretion can pull me up and out of the water.


    She¡¯s not as strong as Thendra, and it takes her longer to drag me to the edge and lift me to cold tiles so I can gag and vomit the water from my lungs. Cold hands help lessen the nightmare, but I am wracked with echoing snarls and that final look as my mother pleads¡­


    Please¡­ she had mouthed, but didn¡¯t get the chance to add. "Just¡­ let them fix you. Let them unweave you back to your real body and silence your songs."


    "You can¡¯t bear them well."


    ¡°No.¡± I¡¯m weeping between rasping breaths. ¡°Pleeease. I¡¯m so sorry. I¡­¡±


    Tretion''s hands hover over and around me, ensuring I¡¯m on my side and able to expel the water. She begins to say something¡­ But it¡¯s drowned amidst the muck drowning my mind and soul.


    Usete and Awnya¡¯s face blur together. A horrid mixture of them growling that I should stay in the horrid Fae wood with them. ¡°Stay and be fixed.¡±


    I¡¯m scrabbling to my feet and running. Endless snarling Reavers nipping at feet and ankles as I scream and hiss and claw my way free.


    I¡¯m back in the Dead Dreamer¡¯s Wood. Cold, alone, jerking at every little sound. Not worried of some forest creature hunting me, but of the hateful sibling and the Fae mercy they promise.


    I can see my forest home, rush to the door, tear it open. But the ground writhes up to stop me from escaping.


    I hiss and growl and scream. Naranggas cut and bite and whirl at the muck of dark ooze and horrid things that drag me from my home. Eventually I am buried up to my chest in the bubbling mess, Talons snagged and engulfed.


    I¡¯m sobbing and pleading now. Begging for it to just¡­ ¡°Let me go home. I¡¯ll stop. I¡¯ll live alone. I¡¯ll never sing again. Just¡­. Just please don¡¯t take this body from me. PLEASE. I¡¯m sorry I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯M SORRY I¡¯M SO BROKEN AND HORRIBLE AND¨C¡±


    By the time it all fades, I¡¯m sitting naked and damp beside the closed gateway to the manor. Slumped, trembling, and engulfed in a hug of bubbles that stop me from moving.


    Tretion kneels close by but does not rush to approach, face wracked with worries but¡­ trying to remain calm as her tendrils lean toward me.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m so sorry.¡± I blubber as the mess of bubble hugs slowly begins to slop back into the floor.


    She shakes her head, tendrils bobbing about. ¡°Don¡¯t be.¡±


    I don¡¯t know how I have any tears left, but I¡¯m already falling back into a sobbing mess. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m messing everything up again. That bath was so nice and¨C¡±


    ¡°Lyra.¡± She says with such¡­ such focus that I find my words catch in my throat. She locks her smoky eyes on mine. ¡°You are perfect. You are safe. You have nothing to apologize for.¡±


    ¡°B¨C But¡­¡± I choke on the words as I feel another hateful memory begin to rise up.


    Tretion sees my fall back into despairing, pulls me back with confident words. ¡°Lyra. I love you.¡± She moves a little closer, but¡­ doesn¡¯t force any connection.


    Just¡­ being close in case I need her.


    I shudder at those words. Still¡­ still so unused to them.


    Naranggas reach out and grips her soul like it¡¯s an anchor dropped into the deep oceans.


    Love tinted with confused worry and a strange sense of¡­ focus. A beacon in a storm of her own turmoil helps calm me.


    She takes a deep breath at the touch, and gives me a smile. ¡°I¡¯m here. No matter what. Always and forever.¡±


    And then I¡¯m scrambling to tumble into her arms. Sobbing and clutching desperately at this wonderful watcher with everything I am as she returns the embrace.


    *    *    *


    I feel the prickle of the Reaver¡¯s gaze just as my foot rests on the bottom step leading upstairs. I¡¯d normally disregard their attentions. Move through the manner like the apex predator they generally regard me to be and a head straight for Thendra.


    Whatever blighted magic the cunt used to birth this brood has allowed them to inherit the watchers'' Amwella smothering sight. It¡¯s nothing to a mature Fae, but this¡­


    This is more than idle curiosity. This focus is one of hunger. And while I have no doubt Thendra would flay her living if she attacked a guest, I will not hide behind that dreamer blighted cunt¡¯s threats for protection.


    So I stop, not suddenly, but lazily. Like a panther catching an interesting scent, I roll my eyes over without turning my head. A hand is already at my blade¡¯s hilt.


    She sits in a group of three, each seem to be consuming some rank flesh from this manor¡¯s larder. A head full of watcher eyestalks casually all turn to look at me, dull yellow and glimmering with Amwella. The group either doesn¡¯t notice or ignores her sudden interest. Most Reavers barely give me passing curiosity tinted with a bit of fear these days.


    Like the rest, her skin is a deep hue of some type or another. Very very deep charcoal green seems to dominate most of this one. A few pale markings and tattoos even writhe across her bare chest and arms.


    Our contest lasts¡­ maybe half a minute. Near the end her focus seems to roll up and down my body and hesitate on my core. But when my fingers casually tip tap my blade a couple times she smirks and looks away. A twisted sign of acknowledgement, but not submission.


    I nearly spit a slow song of fury in her direction, let her feel the wrath of a few storms and reconsider that.


    But¡­ I don¡¯t want to waste any more time here than I have to.


    Thendra is going over some map of something stupid when I toss the old journal on the desk in front of her. ¡°About thirty pages in, the footnotes and little drawing. Is that the one?¡±


    She barely pauses, then casually brushes the book off to one side. ¡°And if it is?¡±


    I let out a growl, ¡°Then I know to track more of that woman¡¯s blighted business dealings. Maybe find a painting or piece of the manor smuggled away to use as an anchor.¡±


    Thendra purrs acknowledgement, but not interest.


    ¡°What about Getrik?¡± I press, annoyed. ¡°Any word from her?¡±


    She ignores my question, pulls out a quill to mark a few notes on the map.


    Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    I hiss a whisper of song, causing the room to drop just a hint of its heat.


    Thendra doesn¡¯t growl, doesn¡¯t threaten, just¡­ sighs. As if my sudden song is a paltry thing of annoyance and not the beginnings of a melody that could freeze her precious collection of tomes to brittle ice.


    Jade eyes finally turn up to me. ¡°What would you have me do, Fae?¡±


    I narrow my eyes. Her calm over these past three weeks has been¡­ concerning.


    I¡¯ve expected even more rage and dark promises of pain for my lover behind those eyes. Been preparing so many plans and songs to make sure Lyra would be safe and away from this evil cunt when I find her.


    But¡­ nothing.


    No anger.


    No worry.


    Nothing!


    I¡¯d spent my time between chasing leads researching rumors and tales of Thendra and her Reavers. Found nothing but a trail of blood and misery in her path.


    Some stories were so cruel I had to¡­


    I drop the petty song. Find myself glaring at the bed. Worst nightmares bloom and fester of all the things she might do to Lyra there.


    Has already done.


    ¡°Heard a story the other day, walking the streets.¡± I murmur.


    I didn¡¯t. I¡¯d pulled a poor slave girl from her mistress¡¯s clutches. She¡¯d blubbered a ton while I took her to a new rift, and when I¡¯d mentioned my search for Lyra she¡¯d told me the little she remembered.


    While her eyes have drifted back down to the page, I can feel her attention focus on me.


    ¡°Of a Fae visiting a certain blighted god¡¯s halls to claim her freedom.¡±


    A smile cracks on her lips. But she offers nothing else up.


    ¡°She traded a watcher for her freedom, then bought her back.¡±


    That, of all things, gets a rumbling of annoyance from Thendra.


    ¡°Really?¡± I snort. ¡°This is what gets you upset? Not her spending three weeks locked away with her. This? Why?¡±


    For the next few moments I think she won¡¯t answer.


    But then she rises from her desk, and regards me. ¡°Do you know what she paid to claim her watcher?¡±


    ¡°Some say she offered a clutch of souls, others¡­ a ring.¡± I huff, ¡°Others¡­ Say flesh or song. Stupid ones claim it was just a sight of her naked body.¡±


    ¡°Worse.¡± Thendra glares past me. ¡°A boon to be claimed at a later date was twisted from my Lyra.¡±


    I jerk back to fully stare at the massive cunt. ¡°You can¡¯t be serious.¡±


    A boon promised to the god of slaves and slavers¡­


    I absolutely will NOT be sharing that with the other Fae. Getting them to accept my way was already nearly impossible. Especially since I still can not find her.


    Thendra rumbles in affirmation.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits, Thendra.¡± I spit. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ if that old blighted thing calls in that favor¡­ Does she know how much they could ask? What refusing will cost!?!¡±


    *    *    *


    It¡¯s three months before I can even whisper the words.


    Tretion¡¯s asleep when I first let them escape my lips. I know from the cold thrumming off her soul and the weaving of soft dreams they tell me, that she doesn¡¯t hear them.


    But¡­ that¡¯s okay. She knows. She feels them weeping from my Amwella when our souls dance.


    The words are for me.


    And after speaking them I can¡¯t help but fall into a sobbing mess that does wake her up.


    She¡¯s so wonderful.


    Just¡­ pulls me closer without question, lets me smother my soul in her cold scales and wandering affectionate tendrils as I sob them over and over and over.


    ¡°I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you!¡±


    *    *    *


    ¡°What else can you tell us about the Blight Weaver¡¯s songs?¡± Opherity, an older looking Fae with a subtle amount of bird feathers about her form presses. ¡°These horrid things she¡¯s used to enhance and twist the curses.¡±


    I grind my teeth at the¡­ the stupid fucking name. ¡°As I¡¯ve said, multiple times, I don¡¯t know. Lyra¡¯s songs are generally soft things, only slightly tinted with very understandable pain due to her own curse¡¯s bite.¡±


    I¡¯d grown so tired of these meetings. Running from Fae Court to Fae Court, just to hear another bumble of my elders squabble and claim to understand all this. Time that could be better spent following leads, scouring books for hints to how to get to the manor, and freeing literal Dreamer Blighted slaves.


    Not that I¡¯d share that task with any of these old fools, even if they thought to offer.


    ¡°Where did she even learn those words?¡± Yeklan, a sort of cat like Fae, hisses. ¡°Certainly not from Yuna.¡±


    I sigh and fiddle with the hilt of my dagger. ¡°I honestly don¡¯t know. I think that Reaver cunt Thendra has¨C¡±


    Opherity interrupts me with an exasperated sigh, ¡°Yes yes, we¡¯ve¡­ considered your claims. But this woman is nothing but a brute. Her victory was due to luck and the intervention of the Blight Weaver. To believe she somehow taught the one of our kind anything about Fae song is¡­ quite unlikely and not worth our time.¡±


    ¡°More likely the Blight Weaver¡¯s cursed her and others throughout Theradas.¡± Another elder prompts.


    ¡°Lyra wouldn¡¯t¨C¡±  I begin to say.


    Yeklan adds. ¡°Might even be weaving more as we speak.¡±


    ¡°Elders.¡± I nearly hiss, immediately my fury gets their attention¡­ and annoyance.


    For one so young to embrace her primal urges shows my youth and lack of understanding in their eyes.


    I sigh, ¡°Apologies for my¡­ outburst. But none of you have even met her. Haven''t heard her songs or seen her soul. She is kind and loving, just¡­ hurt and twisted by a series of incredibly horrid events. She needs healing, not¡­ not scorn. And certainly not the unweaving some have suggested.¡±


    Yeklan¡¯s ear flatten, but Opherity speaks before he can voice his disdain.


    ¡°Awnya, we understand that¡­ that this is hard.¡± She says so gently it annoys me. ¡°Your affections for her might have pulled a less blighted woman from the rot and ruin. But we must consider that at some point since your time with her in the Fae wood her mind became touched by it.¡±


    ¡°She spent twelve years in the Cursed Woods.¡± I counter. ¡°If that time didn¡¯t ruin her then how could a few days or even weeks in Theradas even hope to do more?¡±


    ¡°Maybe it was her journey to Theradas that signaled her inevitable decline.¡± She offers. ¡°Why else would she leave with such a horrid woman If her own flesh did not stink with the subtle blights of that city?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s as I said, she offered her life for another¡¯s. An act of love and¨C¡±


    ¡°We have to assume that if she returns, that she brings even more horrid blights.¡± She whispers. ¡°And We must protect the Hearthfires.¡±


    I jerk back, ¡°She would never try to¡­ That¡¯s not possible. Why would she ever want to spread a blight to them? Why would she ever return to the Fae Wood after all that¡¯s hurt her here?¡±


    Opherity steps up to me, touches my shoulder, ¡°Awnya, I know your relationship with him has been strained, but your father would love to see you more. He can¡­ help explain this all in better ways and¨C¡±


    I brush her hand off me. ¡°It was his Dreamer Blighted actions that brought us here. I could have gotten her away, gotten her healed. But he did exactly what you''re all doing! Assuming the worst without even talking to her. Just¡­ treating her like¡­ like some¡­¡±


    ¡°He was right to.¡± Yeklan growls.


    I turn to glare openly at the little shit.


    Opherity huffs, ¡°I¡­ think we¡¯ve talked enough about this today. Maybe you should¨C¡±


    But I¡¯m already turning to leave these fools behind me.


    *    *    *


    Tretion had shown me her library within our first week together, but it¡¯s in the fourth month that we begin to spend long hours there. Her, taking up dozens of thick and odd tomes to begin reacquainting herself with the incredibly complex process of awakening Lenelope and inscribing a new soul into her body. Me, discovering such a variety of amazing stories. Mostly silly things full to bursting with romance and sex and silly adventures devoid of real pain. All wonderful and so calming to my soul.


    A perfect balm to keep the Waking Nightmares away for days and days¡­


    It¡¯s so big too! Three levels and balconies and like¡­ an eternity of books and scrolls and paintings and everything ever! I can¡¯t help but yelp in surprise as Tretion reminds me that it¡¯s mine now too, and that every book here is for me to enjoy if I want to.


    But eventually, Tretion begins to move us to the manor¡¯s heart to start her work.


    The process is¡­ odd. A long half-month is spent just gathering supplies and setting up her workspace in the bubble filled room.


    Then It takes nearly a full day just to get the manor to wake up, and that was with my help pushing through the curse to help sing little murmured pleas alongside Tretion¡¯s weird gurgling old language.


    The manor and I fall asleep a few times as Tretion works over her beloved companion after that. Lenelope¡¯s body snuggled in a bath of bubbles while my watcher fiddled with the soul she was spinning from the manor¡¯s offerings and working to weave something about something into her brain or¡­ something.


    Really complicated and so far beyond my ability to understand.


    Fae song is all will and focus when it comes to the nameless little things we try to weave into our own body. That and¡­ and having the right Fae words to express those desires. I can¡¯t even begin to guess at what new words I¡¯d have to find and memorize to replicate what my Tretion is doing¡­


    My watcher told me how the woman Lenelope was faded when her body died that first time.


    Mentions how more than a few hours of severed soul links to the mind seem to clear it of its memories. But, apparently she worked extra hard to keep this crafted being¡¯s mind safe after death by preserving her in this bubble mass the manor keeps here.


    Didn¡¯t want to put this kind lady through years and years of life as a husk until people''s thoughts started to spark true. And¡­ and without the memories from her past even those would be muted and hollow for years and years.


    But eventually Tretion is shouting in joy as her beloved companion begins to stir. Wraps her in such a loving embrace while Lenelope sputters and coughs up some bubbles. Eyes rolling about as if she¡¯s only just been asleep and not dead.


    Then her gaze falls on me, going wide with fear. ¡°L¨C Lyra?¡±


    Old memories of soul death flashing in her eyes.


    ¡°She¡¯s fine, Darling!¡± Tretion pulls back and takes the woman¡¯s face gently in her hands as she begins to panic a little. ¡°It¡¯s okay! You¡¯re safe she only¨C¡±


    I squeeze my eyes shut and¡­ and¡­ try to¡­ to keep the shadows back.


    Feel the guilt and shame of that murder writhe up to begin strangling my mind with¡­ with worse memories of Reavers and Fae and¨C


    ¡°Beloved! It¡¯s all okay.¡± Tretion calls out. ¡°Reach out and hold my soul tight if you need to!¡±


    I whimper, make the mistake of pulling Naranggas close to cover my soul instead of reaching out to the cold source of relief.


    Dreamer bless my watcher, she¡­ she needs to focus on Lenelope, not the messed up little monster who killed her. Should just¡­ just¡­ Let these shadows continue to claw and bite and tear at this little soul that doesn¡¯t deserve her love or affections.


    Words. Too many. Too slow and painful. Tretion explaining to Lenelope that I¡¯m not a monster to calm the panic she¡¯s rightfully feeling.


    Just¡­ too certain that I don''t deserve the pain and mind torments.


    As the blighted punishment consumes my everything I feel cold arms wrap around me. Then tendrils weaving and wiggling through my hair. ¡°C¡¯mon beloved, take hold. C¡¯mon. Please don¡¯t face this alone.¡±


    I ignore her, but¡­ My Naranggas don¡¯t. They curl out and obey her command despite my futile efforts to ensure this hurts me as much as much as¨C


    A new hand on my knee. Soft and warm.


    ¡°I¡­ Lyra, I forgive you.¡± Lenelope murmurs. Then she¡¯s beside me and wrapping us both in a hug. ¡°Thank you for helping her wake me up again.¡±


    That, more than anything Tretion could say, cracks the Waking Nightmare¡¯s shell. Turns it into a pitiful sobbing thing composed of very normal guilt and shame as my watchers'' loving emotions roll over me.


    *    *    *


    ¡°It¡¯s been over a year, Awnya.¡± My old mentor sighs.


    I¡¯d not exactly snuck into her chambers¡­ but there were apparently three other elders very very interested in talking to me about my estranged lover. And after the last time I¡¯d shared my progress went so poorly¡­ Well, I thought it best to avoid it. Fae are slow and easily distractible things.


    Let them forget about my lover and find other things to obsess over.


    I shrug, ¡°And? What¡¯s a year to a Fae?¡±


    ¡°To hear Yeklan yip about it, a year for her blights to fester.¡± Melivias continues to prepare a small meal for us. Hums a soft encouragement for her little interior garden to ripen their fruits. ¡°A ship adrift. Ready to crash into a shore we can¡¯t hope to predict.¡±


    I snort. ¡°That Watcher was smitten with Lyra, and will drown her in love and happiness. I enjoy wandering at the things she¡¯s doing to her.¡±


    She nods and sits, offering a shared plate of colorful sea fruits for us to pick at. ¡°They worry it doesn¡¯t matter.¡±


    I glare out the window. Not mad at her but¡­ at how much my people keep disappointing me.


    She lays a hand on my wrist, a silent assurance. She agrees with me. This is just¡­ gifting knowledge. Preparing me for the storm that might one day arrive.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to keep my promises to her, Melivias.¡± I murmur.


    She doesn¡¯t interrupt, only pulls that hand free and begins to pick at some of the fruits. I¡¯d caught her just before her normal rest hours, so her willingness to talk and listen to this old worry again means the dream to me. ¡°Your teachings should always hold up. Especially in the worst of times.¡±


    That the ends don''t justify the means, that the means will instead shape the ends. Treating people well and with dignity and love will always lead to better outcomes than treating them with scorn or spite.


    She hums, but otherwise doesn¡¯t speak.


    Her question is unspoken, and not because she worries it will anger me. But because this is such an old thing to us now. Had this same talk with her almost every month.


    ¡°Things are different now. I can just¡­ There are so many things I need to tell her.¡± I smirk. ¡°I¡¯m sure I can pester her into leaving that all behind, if Tretion hasn¡¯t already done it.¡±


    ¡°And the curse she bears?¡± Melivias murmurs.


    This new addition to the normal routine startles me.


    I don¡¯t drop my smile. ¡°What of it?¡±


    ¡°A Fae without their songs is a horrible thing.¡±


    ¡°Oh. She¡­¡± I pause, considering adding more problems. ¡°She can push through it.¡±


    She nods, ¡°But what of the damage? Is it possible that¡­¡±


    A long pause.


    That¡¯s she¡¯s dead. Drained of Amwella?


    I wince, ¡°Eh¡­ it¡¯s not too bad.¡±


    A long pause.


    I won¡¯t lie to her. But¡­


    ¡°Little sparrow?¡±


    She needs an answer. It¡¯s important enough for her to ask as my elder. As one who is asking me to trust her centuries of experience over my mere decade.


    I sigh. ¡°Her Amwella recovers incredibly fast.¡±


    A pursing of her lips. ¡°How fast?¡±


    ¡°When I first found her, she was trying to Riftwalk.¡± I glance down. ¡°Must have tried¡­ three or four times? Between that and that curses sting her Amwella was pretty bruised and drained.¡±


    A longer pause.


    ¡°She was perfectly healed after a night of rest.¡± I look back up to her, quickly add. ¡°No drain on myself or the dream around her.¡±


    ¡°I can think of sparse few reasons for this to happen. And none of them are good.¡± She replies very carefully.


    Probing.


    Wanting more information.


    Needing more.


    This¡­ I trust her. But this was something I really wanted to keep to myself. Lyra had no idea that it¡¯s not normal for even the Fae to recover so quickly. And to not even passively draw soulfire from the dream around her to do it is¡­ concerning. Amwella comes from things, we gather it passively.


    So then that brooks a question¡­ Where is she getting it from?


    Melivias just¡­ stares, but her feathers are nearly quivering with the questions she would demand of me. Her eyes brimming with so much worry and even some anger.


    How could you not tell me this?


    I give her a wary smile. ¡°Not my secret to share.¡± Then shrug. ¡°If it¡¯s what I think it is¡­ look, just honk at Yuna about this. She told me. You could probably get it out of her.¡±


    She looks off to the side. ¡°She¡¯s not speaking with any elders anymore. And is¡­ very occupied.¡±


    I wince. ¡°Usete still not recovering well?¡±


    ¡°They have some good days, but¡­ the commands Lyra laid are¡­ difficult. They need to reconcile. Be able to speak to someone about their pain and be free of any threat of that blighted curse''s bite.¡±


    I didn¡¯t expect Lyra to lay something like that again.


    But¡­ I couldn¡¯t blame her. What they were threatening her with was worse than death.


    ¡°And uh¡­ How¡¯s dad doing?¡±


    ¡°Worse. It¡¯s a slow thing, but even with all the commands removed the curse eats at him. Day by day.¡± She turns back to face me, eyes wet with tears. ¡°The Amwella healers are doing excellent work, but¡­ they can¡¯t keep up. Not for much longer.¡±


    I nod, my smile frozen and brittle.


    Something about his curse was worse than Usete¡¯s. It¡­ it wasn¡¯t just a reactive thing. Almost¡­ alive with hunger. But¡­ they could see the blighted things word. He should be free of its sting ever since I freed him of all commands!


    So¡­ why is it still biting into him?


    ¡°You need to find her, Awnya.¡± She murmurs, ¡°Even if she is well and settled, we need to know more about her workings to save him.¡±

 Chapter 59: Watchers and Women of None

    <u>Cw:</u>


    Um... none? A panic attack/memory of death?


    I lay panting and exhausted atop a question of cold and loving snuggles.


    Once more?


    That was always the question. But¡­ now? What¡­ What did I want?


    ¡°N¨C No.¡± I murmur. ¡°I think I can do it now. Thank you for¡­ for being so wonderful.¡±


    Tretion let me pull back, soul popping free of mine to sit in the simple embrace of my Naranggas.


    Once we leave this bed, we¡¯ll be leaving the manor for the first time in¡­ a while? I¡¯m not really sure how long.


    I meet her gaze, smile at the mixture of cold soulfire and wonderful afterglow of our Amwella dance. ¡°I¡¯m ready.¡±


    She smiles back, knows better than to entice me back into another with even a quick kiss, and together we crawl from her big bed¡¯s soft sheets.


    Then we''re getting cleaned up and ready for our day out.


    Soon the door clicks and clacks, then the pretty form of Lenelope arrives.


    All smiles as she bumbles forward with an armful of clothes. Her eyes are practically glowing with the same thrumming bubbly delight as she helps lay out the attire we¡¯d all picked out together for the day about.


    Choosing clothes? This is still so weird to me. I love all the bright colors, and understand the concept of wearing them. But¡­ picking things that made me feel more¡­ me?


    I¡¯m still getting used to that.


    Torn simple things to mark me as more people and less animal in the woods. Loose attire so a dark goddess could better feast, and then a leather tunic to protect flesh during possible fights and bad weather.


    But the colorful gowns of this soft weak cloth gives none of those things! They also take too long to peel off before sex!


    So, they¡¯re useless¡­


    Right?


    ¡°But how does this make you feel?¡± Tretion had asked me when she¡¯d first started having me try things on.


    Only the cold calm and bubbling love echoing from her soul keep me from fumbling into terrified¡­ somethings as I just¡­ just¡­


    Stared.


    Terrified of the pretty half-smiling dark haired girl in the big mirror as her watcher embraced her from behind.


    Her glimmering violet eyes and perfect slightly pale skin wrapped in a gown of sandstone reds and greens lock me in place like any predator''s gaze.


    I¡¯d only seen a single muddled version of myself in the gurgling waters of the woods.


    Never this.


    Never so clear and¡­


    I couldn¡¯t stop the tears as I got to see the wondrous body I wrought from the dream and claimed.


    I almost flinched as her smile widens and consumes us.


    After that we spent so much time in front of that mirror. Trying different things, and just¡­ drowning in the intoxication of it.


    More than once I just¡­ stopped. Sat down, and stared at her.


    Trying to¡­ to make my silly mind accept her as me.


    To picture her as myself, and not some mysterious Fae girl I¡¯d love to meet.


    And¡­ Even once, mostly curious how I looked when I would say them to my Tretion, whispered to her¡­ so softly and only when my watcher¡¯s back was turned¡­


    Those three hardest words.


    And then me and that girl sobbed together for a bit. A wonderful embrace with our watcher when she soon joined us to enjoy this pain.


    This hurt that felt so right and¡­ very needed.


    Somehow.


    Somehow my body ached for that.


    And I still don¡¯t know why.


    But then we¡¯re dressed in the clothes we chose specifically for this outing, and Lenelope is still fussing over us.


    She¡¯s very sweet, and¡­ and apparently trapped here. Her soul unable to ever leave its halls lest the rot of the Dead Dreamer will claim her little fuzzy glow.


    But¡­ Lenelope also never seemed to want to leave? And would get so bothered whenever Tretion started asking me about taking this little trip.


    ¡°Errands, restocking on things, and¡­¡± Tretion brought up as we''re together one afternoon. ¡°And meeting with a very kind family member who I promised to keep in touch with.¡±


    That last part¡­ She thought that would bother me?


    But¡­ it doesn¡¯t.


    Why would it?


    They didn¡¯t hurt me.


    However¡­ as we stand at the gateway¡­ I¡¯m shaking more than a little. Can¡¯t stop the cold chill of horrid terror from leaking into my soul.


    I reach out, and wrap another Naranggas around Tretion¡¯s soul of calm fire.


    ¡°I¡­ I could do this myself, Lyra.¡± She murmurs, squeezing my talon.


    I shake my head.


    We¡¯d worked hard to help me be less dependent on her soul''s calming nature. I could almost go¡­ like¡­ six or nine entire hours without feeling a Waking Nightmare beginning to bubble up.


    Not that I liked to go that long without clinging to her Amwella. But... Tretion insisted. Said that while she would always adore my touch, she wanted me to feel independent and able to function alone if needed.


    I¡­ I don¡¯t know why?


    Better to be always bound to her soul than alone.


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s been a long time hasn''t it?¡± I murmur. ¡°Since we left?¡±


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t feel like it.¡± She giggles, and the truth the washes out from her soul helps me join her, lean over into her arm.


    I¡¯d never asked how many days had passed since we came back.


    Hopefully long enough that everyone¡¯s forgotten me.


    But¡­ I¡¯m stalling, and she¡¯s waiting on me.


    Would wait here for me to gather my courage till the dream¡¯s end.


    So with a minor effort of Amwella I focus on my desire, wave the blighted talon, and reveal the¨C


    This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.


    I jolt to a halt as I see it just¡­ lying there.


    Like a snake or¡­ or a corpse.


    ¡°Oh.¡± Tretion gasps. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry Lyra, I forgot we left that there.¡±


    Memories, old and¡­ and not all painful. But not pleasant roll through me. Of where I¡¯d claimed the long abandoned blade.


    I pull her forward though, and she almost lets my arm go taunt with resistance in surprise.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± I whisper as I move into the damp cavern and look down at the sword.


    Long and sleek and still wrapped in the cloth Bulderii gave it. With a little effort I reach down with my final Naranggas and pick it up.


    It¡­ feels lighter¡­ for some reason. Like¡­ somehow, despite doing nothing but snuggling to Tretion¡¯s soul, my tails are so much stronger.


    Even Tretion sort of¡­ stalls at the sudden steady rising of the blade.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯d like to bring this with me. If¡­¡±


    A flutter of worry causes me to trail off. Almost drop the blade and turn to apologize and¡­


    ¡°Of course.¡± She squeezes my talon, then asks very carefully. ¡°But¡­ It isn¡¯t bothering you?¡±


    I look back and up at her, my brow probably furrowed in thought. ¡°Not¡­ I don¡¯t think so. I got it from¡­¡±


    No. Bulderii didn¡¯t give me this.


    I can¡¯t stop the grin as my mouth blurts out. ¡°It reminds me of how hard I fought for my Tretion.¡±


    Her soul is suddenly singing of cool breezes of love and affection as her eyes glimmer with tears. Such¡­ such a rare thing for her!


    Normally I¡¯m the melty one!


    So I pull her into a tight hug snug, press my soul to hers. Let it refract my own¡­ my own love back into her Amwella. She returns the embrace, and I suspect we stand there for quite a while before I feel her settle.


    ¡°Okay.¡± I whisper, wipe a little moisture from my own eyes with a blighted talon. ¡°I¡¯m ready.¡±


    She reclaims my left talon, and a green storm forms to whisk us away.


    The rift we wander about is one of lush green jungles and a sprawling city of homes built from dead wood. At first the sight confused me, but¡­ before the question could even bubble out I knew the answer.


    It¡¯s not¡­ It isn''t a hard thing to grasp. The humans did it, and when you can¡¯t just sing the tree to offer you a home they would do this too.


    Murder the forest to claim a home.


    It doesn¡¯t bother me¡­ but¡­


    Okay it does.


    But I can¡¯t harbor any hate!


    How else would they do it?


    And the forest has endured worse things than this town could ever hope to inflict. A scratch, not even close to murder. The woods sing of old fires and worse that¡¯ve truly threatened to end it in ancient days.


    And besides¡­ it is filled with the cutest fuzzy people I¡¯ve ever seen!


    Beings of slick fur and tall pointed ears and really amazing stripes! And their souls! Such wonderful little blobs that sort of¡­ seem to dart about their chests a bit, even swivel about like a big eye that wants to look at everything at once!


    There are also some more of the odd horned people, and even mixtures of the two! A few souls both flicker and dart about in erratic fun patterns that entrance me!


    Some even watch me back with curiosity, and most of them don¡¯t even seem too worried by my Naranggas either!


    As Tretion pulls us up through treetop pathways and into various shops to trade for things, I sort of end up ignoring most of what she¡¯s doing.


    Some weird heavy cube of red and green swirls, more nice colored fabric to ask Lenelope to weave into wonderful clothes, and a cluster of other random things are bought and traded for.


    But eventually, after a quick Riftwalk back to the manor to drop off the bag of goods with Lenelope, we¡¯re back in amongst the trees. This time the edge of the city. A single big building of stacked rock more akin to some Theradas homes stands before us.


    ¡°Alright, last stop!¡± Tretion chimes, and her soul sort of¡­ bubbles in relief.


    I¡­ I hadn''t even noticed the little stress that had built up over the course of our trip.


    I squeeze her hand and soul gently. ¡°Are you okay? I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t realize you were getting upset.¡±


    The relief turns to a resonance of love as she peers down to me. ¡°I¡¯m just¡­ Not always the best at getting out and about. Too many people can be a little tiring. Thank you, Lyra. I¡¯m flattered you noticed and asked.¡±


    Can¡¯t help but grin back. ¡°You''re welcome.¡±


    After we step up and Tretion reaches up to rap off a polite pattern of knocks, a large watcher answers the door.


    She, unlike Tretion, is not just tall but wide! Yes with muscle but just¡­ girth! A big belly and head of bobbing eyestalks. Her skin is the darkest I¡¯ve seen of their kind, and with pretty blue eyes with little ripples of red sparkling about.


    ¡°Cousin!¡± She exclaims, eyes going wide with surprise and joy.


    ¡°Hello Getrik.¡± My watcher replies kindly and steps into a quickly offered embrace that includes wrigglings of eyestalks and head tendrils.


    ¡°OH, ow ow!¡± Getrik exclaims in good humor as a few of her eyestalks are poked a bit by a few of the pointed ends of Tretion''s.


    Tretion just giggles and pulls back. ¡°It¡¯s wonderful to see you, are you well?¡±


    ¡°I am! Please Come in! Come in!¡± The large watcher exclaims.


    It¡¯s only after the door is closed behind us and I get to look around in wonder at this nice comfy home that something is directed at me amidst their small pleasant babbling. And I feel the familiar weight of a watcher''s Amwella smothering. But¡­ it honestly barely bothers me. Like a cool drizzle of rain on my soul.


    ¡°And this one is?¡± Getrik asks.


    ¡°Oh, um¡­¡± Tretion¡¯s soul ripples with nervous joy, making me turn to look between them. ¡°She¡¯s¡­ um¡­ This is Lyra. And she¡¯s my Bound Beloved.¡±


    A long pause, and Getrik¡¯s eyes have gone from passive curiosity to bulging.


    ¡°Y¨C Your¡­¡± Looks back to Tretion, then back to me. ¡°Beloved Bound!?! For how long!?!¡±


    I pull her hand close, trying to offer support as her soul titters a bit in embarrassment.


    ¡°A little over a year, I think.¡±


    ¡°And you didn¡¯t even invite me to a celebration? What¡­¡± Getrik¡¯s eyes flit back to me, and her face goes¡­ odd. ¡°I don¡¯t wish to be rude, Apologies Lyra. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Getrik, watcher and woman of none.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ um¡­¡± This is the first person I¡¯ve talked with outside our manor since¡­ um¡­ a while. ¡°Hello.¡±


    Getrik smiles with a decent amount of warmth as she looks back to the cousin¡¯s warming cheeks. ¡° You should both stay for dinner. We should celebrate!¡±


    ¡°Oh, I just wanted to gather up any messages after a quick resupply.¡±


    ¡°Please, Tretion, my favorite cousin.¡± She lays a hand on my watcher''s shoulder. ¡°Let us celebrate our new lives! Honestly I should insist you stay a week, what with the matron dead and rotting.¡±


    Twitch twitch goes the Talon as the Waking Nightmare hits without warning or mercy at the images her words dredge up.


    I feel the blight and rot roil in the pit of my soul. Almost¡­ almost taste her flesh and soul as she keeps resisting the inevitable death at her heels. Such sweet blood to mix with the song before she tears out my throat and leaves me to decay with all the others.


    Then Tretion is in front of me, kneeling and gripping my face as I¡¯m wracked with fast panicked breaths. ¡°Love, come on. Squeeze tighter. You''re safe.¡±


    Her words choke a sob out of me, and I obey. Let the sword drop and clank to the floor so that all three tails can wrap around her cool and calming Amwella.


    My eyes squeeze shut.


    They all HATE me! Too many eyes, all open, all dead.


    ¡°That¡¯s it, good girl.¡± She coos, lips pressing against my eyelids and trailing down my cheeks to clean my tears.


    I don¡¯t move. Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t speak or let thoughts be anything but her glacial love and harmonic devotion. This settles the muck at the pit of my soul to stop bubbling over.


    I taste iron and weeping soulflame.


    Vaguely aware of little bruises I¡¯m leaving on my beloved¡¯s soul.


    That breaks the final bit of the Waking Nightmare, and then I¡¯m sobbing into Tretion''s shoulder in earnest.


    She embraces me, murmurs soft nothings and encouragement as tendrils wrap around my head and wriggle through my hair.


    ¡°Wh¨C Can I help in any way? Get you anything?¡± Getrik stammers from about five feet away. Eyes filled with worry.


    ¡°Just¡­ Any messages?¡± Tretion whispers. ¡°I¡¯d like to take her home. She¡¯s been so brave today.¡±


    ¡°Oh um¡­ just one.¡± She murmurs, tip taps her belly. ¡°It¡­ but it¡¯s from the old days before¡­ Um... things.¡±


    I pull back, let out a huff of¡­ of guilt and embarrassment. ¡°I¡¯d like to celebrate.¡±


    That surprises my watcher.


    ¡°I.. I¡¯m sorr¨C¡± I begin, but Tretion¡¯s soul sort of¡­ flares a bit. A reminder of her past words.


    ¡°Never apologize for these.¡± She¡¯d demanded after my third waking nightmare in a single very very bad day. ¡°Lyra, you are perfect and wonderful. These are born of you surviving torments, not any mistakes on your part. Your healing is something I am delighted to help with. Even on your worst days. Especially on your worst days.¡±


    ¡°Food sounds nice. Grown food.¡± I wipe my tears, turn to offer a smile at the big watcher. ¡°And you seem really sweet.¡±


    She returns my own pained and guilty smile. ¡°It would be my honor to host my new cousin and her Beloved Bound.¡±


    And she was. The meal had to be¡­ adjusted a little to accommodate my limitations, but Getrik was happy to run out to grab a grand platter of fruits and vegetables and really nice bubbly wine. She insisted we make ourselves at home and I definitely enjoyed the good half hour of just¡­ snuggling to Tretion in a big fluffy chair.


    Basking in her lovingly cold soul before the meal.


    As we sit around a pretty big table, I¡¯m happy to just let them talk. I can tell that there is a little agreement to avoid the topic of their former family members that dwelt within Theradas. I feel a little guilty, but then Getrik asks a question I can see was burning on their soul.


    ¡°So, Lyra, may I ask where you¡¯re from?¡± She asks politely.


    Tretion tenses a little, but the question doesn¡¯t bother me too much.


    ¡°Um¡­ well I guess the home I spent the most time in was the Cursed Wood.¡±


    A long pause, then. ¡°Uh¡­ I¡¯m not familiar with that forest or her¡­ denizens.¡±


    Oh. Then their polite probing becomes clear. The focus of their questions revealed.


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ um¡­ It¡¯s in and around the Fae Wood.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ so then¡­ you are¡­?¡±


    ¡°Mhm.¡± I nod and swallow a wonderful bite of some fluffy red spikey thing. Then take a big drink of wine. Let it flutter my mind a bit with its buzziness. ¡°I¡¯m Fae.¡±


    Another pause, then Getrik lets out a huff of laughter. ¡°My cousin, two steps from being the family''s second exile if not for her brimming intelligence. Binding herself to a Fae. There are certain people whose eyes would pop out in such jealousy.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but¡­ but blush at their words.


    Tretion smiles, leans over to place a chuckling peck on my cheek. Before she can lean back I reach up and pull her back down for a proper kiss. Getrik only laughs, hand upon her belly as she leans back.


    ¡°You seem well and happy, despite everything, Tretion. I¡¯m glad. You deserve this joy.¡±


    I turn back, notice a small and sudden flash of worry and guilt in the big watcher¡¯s eyes. Feel my tummy turn over at¡­ an old truth.


    All others will scorn or ravage you.


    I bite my lip and look down. Am about to turn and ask Tretion if¡­ if we can leave now. Old stupid fears already mucking up the wonderful buzzy feelings the wine is giving me.


    ¡°Um¡­ So that message.¡± Getrik drums the table a few times gently. ¡°I um¡­ I¡¯m sworn to only give it to you. And¡­ eh¡­¡±


    Tretion winces. ¡°Ah¡­ let me just rift Lyra home and I¡¯ll see about popping back?¡±


    Oh¡­


    Oh! My brain realizes the source of their worry. Not me being Fae, but a message for just Tretion.


    I reach for a sweet blue thing, enjoy the crunchy texture and fizzy nature of the juices.


    ¡°Oh it¡¯ll just be a moment. A quick pop into my study and then back here. We can just let your beloved enjoy her meal. I¡¯ve heard how odd the manor¡¯s food can be.¡±


    Tretion pauses, a nervous worry rising in her soul. She¡¯s about to reject the idea.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be okay.¡± I murmur to her.


    A look, eyes meet mine. Are you sure?


    I nod, give her a smile that¡¯s probably stained with a dozen different colors.


    She grins, her soul swoons a bit in desire. Almost a soft promise to explore the flavors I might carry back with us.


    I blush as I imagine her wonderful tongue wandering across my lips and teeth and¨C


    I shove another fruit in my mouth, looking away. Work to untangle my tails from her soul. A sign to her that I¡¯ll be okay.


    And I was at first.


    The two left, but I can hear the soft murmur of their conversation a few rooms away. Lost in the delightful cacophony of flavor, I don¡¯t notice the front door open, nor the footsteps until she¡¯s standing at the entryway to the dining room.


    I turn, more curious at first, but feel my everything freeze as I see her enormous frame and matching bow.


    ¡°Little Reaver.¡± Bulderii murmurs.


    But¡­


    B¨C but this¡­


    She can¡¯t have¨C


    Naranggas draw close, wrap around my trembling core as I think I¡¯ve suddenly drifted into another Waking Nightmare.


    ¡°B¨C Bulderii?¡± I whisper, heart thundering in my chest.


    She takes a step forward, and I flinch back. Nearly falling out of my chair. My mug of wine kind of jerks and flings the sweet liquid about though.


    But the big woman pauses. ¡°I come with a message.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡± I plead. ¡°They¨C The Fae found out! Th¨C They wouldn¡¯t stop coming and¡­ and I¨C¡±


    She raises a single hand, cutting off my words. ¡°Awnya of the Fae, calls for you to return to the Twilight Court.¡±


    Awnya¡¯s name stings, but also¡­ doesn¡¯t make sense.


    ¡°Wh¨C why?¡± I begin to ask.


    ¡°Her father is near death, and your sibling suffers. She asks that you aid in their healing.¡±


    Why is¡­ why is Bulderii delivering a message for her?


    A long pause.


    ¡°Why are you telling me this?¡± I grasp at¡­ at making this all make sense. ¡°How did you even know I was here?¡±


    Bulderii shrugs, adjusts her bow.


    A long pause.


    ¡°What¡¯s your reply?¡± She presses.


    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know!¡± I hiss and set aside the mug I¡¯ve been clutching. ¡°Last time I was there¡­ things¡­ They didn¡¯t go well, Bulderii. And I don¡¯t trust them.¡±


    She glances around the room, nods.


    ¡°Be well, little Reaver.¡±


    And then she¡¯s turning to leave.


    I only understand the sudden end when she¡¯s halfway out the door.


    ¡°W¨C Wait!¡± I scramble after her.


    She stops, looks over her shoulder to regard me.


    ¡°That¡¯s it?¡±


    Just a raised eyebrow. What more did you expect?


    ¡°You¡­ But¡­" I whisper. "I never came back.¡±


    No reply, just¡­ annoyance. Like I¡¯m just being stupid and wasting time.


    ¡°Is Thendra okay?¡± I press.


    A sudden deep fear that¡­ that she¡¯s¨C


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    I sag in obvious relief. Bulderii turns to continue leaving.


    ¡°Wait!¡±


    She doesn¡¯t stop, just¡­ throws back over her shoulder. ¡°I have duties, little Fae.¡±


    ¡°B¨C But¡­. Why!?!¡± I nearly shout. ¡°Why isn¡¯t she the one here? Why isn¡¯t¡­ why isn¡¯t the message telling me to come back!?!¡±


    She doesn¡¯t even stop. Just¡­ continues forward.


    ¡°Bulderii!!!¡±


    But¡­ she¡¯s already disappeared into the forest city beyond. Leaving me to¡­ to consider her words and¡­ and why I wasn¡¯t commanded to return.


    Then a cold horror seeps through me.


    She¡­ She doesn¡¯t¡­


    No Waking Nightmare hits. No twitching of talons. Just¡­ just a deep horrible ache in my heart as I realize the truth.


    She doesn¡¯t want me anymore?


    Tretion finds me standing there. My eyes fill with tears as I stare off into the trees.


    ¡°Lyra?¡±


    I don¡¯t hesitate, just¡­ wrap my Naranggas around her wonderful cold soul and desperately try to bask in its chilly balm.


    But¡­ it doesn¡¯t help. The pain gets worse. Tretion takes me into her arms and I dissolve into a mess of blubbering sobs.


    Too cold.


    ¡°Is um¡­ Is there anything I can do?¡± Getrik¡¯s voice murmurs from behind.


    ¡°Pass me that sword, would you?¡± She murmurs, and for the first time I am shivering in her embrace.


    Wracked with a desire for warmth and spice.


    A weight presses against my back, thanks are murmured to her kin, and Tretion carries us home.

 Chapter 60: Stingers Flytrap

    <u>CW:</u>


    Paralysis.


    My watcher¡¯s soul sags in exhaustion at this last dance as I drag my hands up from between her legs. Our fifth this morning as I straddle her form in the big bath¡¯s tub.


    The warmth, the¡­ the biting I begged out of her, despite how worried it made her to see me bleed, but nothing is enough!


    I huff, my soul already craving another fuck. But¡­ My watcher is so very tired, her Amwella full and perfectly enriched twice over from my work to bring her pleasure and mingle our Amwella.


    So I lean forward and just¡­ lay my head against her chest. Wriggle our soul¡¯s apart, but leave my Naranggas secured around her. And after a moment, I finally tell her what has tormented my mind these past days.


    ¡°Bulderii was there.¡± I whisper.


    She¡­ Ugh her soul sings of confusion. She doesn¡¯t recognise the name.


    ¡°She was¡­ Is a Reaver.¡± I elaborate. ¡°She just¡­ came in and spoke with me while you were with Getrik. Told me that Awnya was asking me to return to the Twilight Court. To help her dad and¡­ and Usete.¡±


    A long pause, and the turmoil in her soul is¡­ it¡¯s like¡­ Worry, a little confusion. Maybe¡­ anger? No¡­ that¡¯s annoyance.


    At herself.


    ¡°It¡­ Tretion you couldn¡¯t have known she would be there. I don¡¯t¡­ I don¡¯t even know how she found me!¡±


    A pause, even more confusion.


    ¡°Um¡­ Lyra.¡± She murmurs very carefully, moves an arm up to caress slow circles over my back while another wraps around my waist. ¡°Are you saying she wasn¡¯t one of your nightmares? That this Reaver was actually there?¡±


    Oh. I didn¡¯t even consider that¡­


    I pause. ¡°Yeah. I¡­ the nightmares aren¡¯t¡­ they¡¯re very weird and horrible but they¡¯re always a sort of¡­ memory. Never something new. I feel them more than see or hear or smell them.¡±


    She sighs, and I can tell that only worries her more. Either my Waking Nightmares are becoming so bad that I cannot separate them from what¡¯s really happening, Or a Reaver found us and wants me to go visit the Fae again.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t tell you sooner.¡±


    She lets out a huff, but turns it into a full hug. ¡°It¡¯s okay. You were figuring things out. I¡­ I understand why you¡¯ve been so hungry now too.¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°You miss her.¡± She sighs. It¡¯s not a question. And while there is nothing but love and worry for me in her soul, I cannot help but fill myself bubbling up with such guilt and shame.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. I¡­ I don¡¯t¡­ I can¡¯t¡­¡± And then I¡¯m shuddering with guilt ridden sobs.


    She coos and snuggles tighter. ¡°This is just like your nightmares. You need help healing here too. No apologies.¡±


    ¡°She¡­ she said Awnya¡¯s dad is dying.¡± I let out a big breath. ¡°Tretion, what do I do!?!¡±


    A pauses, and waits a long time before answering.


    ¡°I don¡¯t like any of this,¡± She murmurs, tendrils wriggling through my damp hair. Soul alight with cold annoyance and suspicion. ¡°Why send a Reaver? What about your curse on him could possibly be ending a Fae¡¯s life? If I had to guess¡­ Lyra, did Bulderii ask anything else of you?¡±


    I shake my head, ¡°I¡­ I had to chase after her! She¡­ I even asked if Thend¨C¡±


    I can¡¯t say her name now. Not without¡­ without breaking down again.


    ¡°Her,¡± Tretion snugs me again, ¡°I know who you mean. But¡­ nothing? No threats or demands?¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I whimper. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t think she wants me anymore. I¡¯m just¡­ too much of a danger to her with¡­ with how messed up I am and¨C¡±


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    Tretion coos and squeezes me to silence. ¡°No, Lyra. I¨C¡±


    ¡°Then why!?!¡± I begin to shake again. ¡°Why did she send Bulderii? Why didn¡¯t Thendra tell me to come back!?!¡±


    ¡°Oh Lyra¡­¡± She murmurs. Soul sad and filled with anxiety at my words. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t go back even if she demands it.¡±


    I freeze. Tears go still. No¡­. no no no no¡­ Not¨C


    ¡°You deserve¡­ so much more than either of us can give.¡± She notices my sudden stiffness. ¡°But¡­ I can see how she¡¯s hurt you. And¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I hiss, pull back and level such an angry glare at Tretion. Even managing to pull a Naranggas free to whirl about. ¡°Her pain always meant something. It¡­ she made me better. It¡¯s horrible, but I needed it. Maybe¡­¡± I look past her. Another terrible thought rolling through my mind. ¡°What if she can help with the Waking Nightmares?¡±


    ¡°Lyra¡­¡± She winces.


    ¡°They only began after I started living here. When I¡­ When I decided not to go back.¡± I look back to her as her glacial soul withers at my words. Her eyes glimmering with tears.


    ¡°Please.¡± She whispers. ¡°Lyra I¡­ You¡¯re getting better. Can go hours and hours without the hint of one. Give yourself more time.¡±


    An old cold ache settles alongside another and I feel my glare die. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ Tretion. I¡­ This is my home. But¡­ but she¡¯s¡­ She¡¯s given me everything I am! And if¡­ If I¡¯m too broken for her to want me¡­¡± I tremble, shake my head angrily. ¡°No. I need to¡­ to try and fix things. I owe Awnya that. And¡­ and maybe afterwards I can go back to Theradas¡­¡±


    ¡°Please, Lyra.¡± Tretion whispers with such terror rolling through her soul that I just start to feel a bubbling muck of a maybe nightmare beginning to rise. ¡°Don¡¯t go back to her. I¡¯ll follow you anywhere. Fae wood, blighted rifts, even beyond the Dream itself. But please. Do not ask me to watch you suffer her.¡±


    I stammer, close my eyes. ¡°I just¡­ I don''t want to feel so broken all the time.¡±


    ¡°You''re not broken Lyra.¡± She reaches up to cup my cheeks. ¡°And going back to her will not help you. It will make this worse!¡±


    I sag. Imagining¡­ how she¡­ how she might react to me now.


    Can¡¯t¡­ I need to focus elsewhere¡­


    C¨C can feel a Waking Nightmare¡¯s shadow rising¡­


    ¡°B¨C But what about Awnya¡¯s dad and¡­ and Usete?¡±


    Tretion calms, which helps me avoid the shadow of terror. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ll support you in whatever you think is best. Walk at your side and pull us out if things seem to be going poorly again.¡±


    ¡°B¨C But¡­¡± I look down at the water¡­ and the pretty girl beneath looks back. ¡°I¡¯m scared. W¨C What if¡­¡±


    I¡¯d not told Tretion of my past. And¡­ and my tummy turns over a few times as I realize it. That¡­ that with just a few words I could risk all her love and affections. Cause her to think me a wretched and horrid thing.


    All others will scorn or ravage you.


    ¡°We won¡¯t let them keep us. It¡¯s your life, your songs, your choice.¡± She murmurs.


    Her words remind me so much of Awnya¡¯s¡­ of¡­ of how she¡¯d so easily accepted me. Even said that changing myself to this body made me more Fae.


    ¡°Tretion¡­¡± I whisper. ¡°There¡¯s¡­ something¡­ somethings I never told you. A¨C About me.¡±


    She waits patiently, soul a little worried but much more¡­ Curious? Supportive? Almost¡­ huh a lot of anticipation. I¡¯d never really told her much of anything about my past. Just¡­


    ¡°My first body was human. And¡­ it was wrong. I was born wrong.¡±


    She tilts her head, and there¡¯s a spark of something inside her. An emotion I don¡¯t really recognise. That worries me a little, but¡­ everything around is calm and relaxed, albeit a bit tense.


    Deeep breaths.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m¡­¡± I have to just¡­ breathe for a while before I can force a jumble of words out. ¡°I¡¯m a girl, but my first body was that of a boy. I used Fae songs to burn it away and craft this one.¡±


    ¡°Oh Lyra.¡± Without even a pause her soul sings of love and acceptance and such sorrow for me as I can feel her consider my words and the pain behind them. ¡°Thank you for trusting me with this part of yourself. I can see that wasn¡¯t easy. It¡­ It explains so much.¡±


    I peek up at her eyes, ¡°It¡­ does?¡±


    ¡°Mhm. And it only makes me more proud of you.¡± She pulls my forehead to hers, letting tendrils dance little affectionate circles through my mane of messy hair. ¡°You are my beloved bound, and I delight in you. You are perfect and brave and so wonderful.¡±


    I let myself dissolve into a puddled mess of sobs at her soul''s overwhelming storm that harmonizes and emboldens her words.


    Finally¡­ finally feeling the cravings for intoxicating warmth beginning to fade a bit as the cold of her soul and flesh battle against the heat of the waters.


    And I tell her more. Just¡­ begin to gush out my past. All at once. I tell her everything up until¡­ Until that first day in Theradas.


    No more. Mostly because the heat is beginning to overwhelm us, but also because I¡­ I can¡¯t.


    I don¡¯t feel like it¡¯s mine to give away.


    *    *    *


    Deep Breaths.


    Four days. Four blighted days of trying to Reave open a rift back to the Twilight Court, and all we¡¯ve gotten for my troubles was another mouthful of blood and bile and a mangled talon.


    I whimper and bonk my head against the damp stone wall. Tretion is close at hand and rings slow circles around my back while trying to hold my broken talon in support.


    ¡°Only once more.¡± Tretion murmurs.


    We¡¯ve had to assume I¡¯d fail. Had to¡­ to limit how much I could try this else repeat the first night''s mistake that forced me to sleep with an unhealed limb. But also, because I need to have Amwella to spare when we arrive so I can still sing.


    ¡°Kay.¡± I huff back.


    I failed again, and spent the rest of the day singing a little song to heal the talon. It hurts, so much. Both due to the pain of the snapped fingers and the sting of the curse.


    I¡¯d rarely sung over this past year. Only endured the curse¡¯s bite for this, Lenelope¡¯s reawakening, and a few healing things to try and calm my body after a few particularly horrifying Waking Nightmares.


    Another three days, and I almost have it.


    After two more, I got it on the second try.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits!¡± I spit in joy as the soft seawater smells of the ocean wafts over us.


    Tretion giggles at my sudden outburst, but it¡¯s a nervous thing. I reach back, and take her hand after singing a quick pained healing song for the talon.


    ¡°Ready?¡±


    She gives me a soft worried smile as my Naranggas wrap tightly around her. ¡°I¡¯m with you.¡±


    I smirk, and we step through the rift to stand outside the same house where I¡¯d seen Awnya last time. The vertigo of the shift passes quickly, and the first thing I notice is that the song on the winds seem so odd.


    It¡¯s a lilting thing, wriggling in and through and almost¡­ almost¡­


    I yawn. Move to shake away the sudden rush of weariness.


    But then my watcher is lowering herself to the ground, and already snoring in her cute little way before the soft grass tickles her cheek.


    ¡°Tretion, we can¡¯t sleep here.¡± I giggle and kneel down next to her, brush fingers through her tendrils. ¡°C¡¯mon you need to¨C¡±


    I jolt, the nature of this song suddenly becoming clear.


    Naranggas pull free of her soul and curl about us as I let out a wild and terrified hiss, glimmering eyes jerking about to find the source of the Fae song of sudden sleep. I spot their Amwella quickly emerging from the little home and blocking the path deeper into the Twilight Court, and fight to not just¡­ rush them.


    Wanting so badly to lean into old Reaver training.


    B¨C but¡­ that would leave Tretion alone and¡­ and¡­


    I shake her, hard. ¡°Tretion! Get up! We need to¨C¡±


    Then something hits my back, and I hiss again. Try to twist and¨C


    Something¡¯s moving, biting, stinging into me. I reach for Spite in panic, bear the sudden horrid sting of the curse to try and return the torments whatever is hurting me.


    But¡­ nothing happens as I bleed from my eyes at the horrid song, and this weird wiggling thing on my back tightens its grip, stills¡­


    ¡°Tretion!¡± I scream, twisting and curling around to try and pull this Dreamer blighted thing off!


    Something plunges into my lower spine, and every muscle and bone in my body begins to scream in such pain!


    Then¡­ goes numb.


    ¡°No... No¨C¡± I whimper as even my Naranggas still their angry dance. Feel myself sag, then tumble into the grass.


    ¡°P¨CPlease¡­ Tre¡­¡± I whisper. Try to¡­ to reach out. But my talon just kinda wriggles a bit, then goes still beside my watcher¡¯s serene expression.


    I feel the Fae approach. Let out a little hiss, try to¡­ to call up my Amwella to spit a curse at them. But¡­ It¡¯s¡­ it feels so far away and heavy!


    And I¡¯m just left a crying twitching mess as I watch a pair of Fae lean down to pick up Tretion and carry her away.

 Chapter 61: The Tilling Grounds

    <u>Cw: </u>


    Kidnapping, paralysis, enforced panic attacks and dismissal of trauma, thingie stabbing spine to paralyze. BEG chappy!


    I try to plead, but even my jaw and tongue are clenching shut now.


    A third Fae settles on the grass in front of me. He¡¯s very greenish blue tinted with gills and a few fins. Eyes large and dark. This oceanic Fae doesn¡¯t speak, just¡­ hums a tune of peace and calm around us. Not¡­ not like what dragged my watcher into unconsciousness, it¡¯s a melody for me. A message.


    Please, stop fighting. Stop resisting.


    I glare through my helpless tears.


    He winces at the fury of it. Weave apologies and attempts to calm me.


    This goes on for a while. The thing on my back seems to¡­ to settle, but whatever it¡¯s doing to paralyze me does not weaken.


    He weaves a question into the song. Would you like to sleep?


    I let my glare, somehow, go even more murderous. Try to convey how much I just¡­ I want to hurt and curse and weave such Dreamer Blighted pain into him.


    That makes him flinch back. Purse lips in¡­ well both worry and fear and pain.


    I can¡¯t help but feel a little satisfaction as he carefully backs away from me and settles about ten feet back.


    And with every second my soul burns. The mark of Furthonois gnashing and raging at me to tear free but... unable to empower and do more than thrash against this thing''s sting.


    More time passes, then there is a wash of warmth from behind me. The melody of a riftwalk?


    ¡°Oh! You really got her!¡± A soft energetic voice says.


    The weird fish Fae stands and moves from view as a tall and lean woman with rippling red scales and a mane of dark purplish hair steps into my view. Squats in front of me.


    ¡°Hi.¡± She smiles with a mouth full of pearlescent teeth. Her dark eyes glimmer and dance as they flit over my paralyzed Naranggas.


    I let out a gurgling hiss in reply. Fix my glare to her.


    She only sighs and gives me a soft pout. ¡°Yeah, I know.¡± Then she kneels forward and wraps arms under my shoulders and legs. Lifts me.


    ¡°But¡­ I¡¯m going to take care of you now, okay?¡± She coos as she pulls me close, and carries me through a rift.


    The vertigo feels like it hits harder despite how little I can feel. And before I can properly take in my surroundings, she is setting me back down on my side upon a beach of soft sand. I can smell some ocean things in the air¡­ but everything is so quiet here.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get you settled here for now.¡± She murmurs as my head is laid gently onto the dirt. Then she is moving to sit in front of me.


    ¡°So, let¡¯s start with talking things.¡± She smiles. ¡°I¡¯m going to have my little friend release your jaw and throat, but if you try to sing or bite or¡­ just start being really rude I¡¯m going to have it stop you. Okay?¡±


    I glare at her.


    She shrugs and nods, ¡°Alright. I give you more time to calm down. Be back in a bit!¡±


    My glare cracks as she begins to rise. She pauses. Smirks. ¡°Change your mind?¡±


    I can only gurgle and try to keep my expression more¡­ worried.


    ¡°Wonderful!¡± She hums a quick series of confusing discordant notes that kinda hurt my heart and head. Then my jaw and mouth unclench.


    I gasp and wheeze amidst a coughing fit.


    When I finally still a bit, ¡°Wh-where¡¯s Tretion!?!¡±


    She shakes her head. ¡°Names first.¡±


    I want to scream at her then, almost do, but¡­ from her unyielding expression I know she¡¯ll just have this thing on my back stop me.


    ¡°L¨C Lyra.¡± I whisper. ¡°But please. I came to help. I wanted to¨C¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t matter right now.¡± She holds up a hand, cutting me off. ¡°My name is Uldra, and I¡¯m of the Fae like you.¡±


    A few beats.


    ¡°Where am I? This¡­ this isn¡¯t the Fae wood.¡± I try to wriggle a bit, but find everything just¡­ horribly unable to do anything but twitch.


    ¡°Nope, it¡¯s not.¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C why? Why did you bring me here?¡± I can feel the tears forming. ¡°Are¡­ Are you going to¡­ to¡­¡± I swallow, hard. ¡°Unweave me? Or¡­ or kill me?


    I¡¯d prefer the last.


    She shakes her head seriously. ¡°No. This is one of my tilling grounds. A rift at the edge of the dream. One that will take a few centuries to clear of rot and ruin so people can live in it.¡±


    My brow furrows. ¡°Then¡­ Why bring me here?¡±


    ¡°Because, Lyra, this is your new home.¡±


    A pang of ice cold fear. Of¡­ imagining this Fae taking my songs, and just¡­ leaving me here alone.


    ¡°Please!¡± I nearly shout. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t¨C¡±


    ¡°Hey hey, you¡¯ll be okay.¡± She murmurs comforts. ¡°I said I¡¯d take care of you.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want this!¡± I twitch furiously. ¡°I¡­ I have a home! With Tretion and¨C¡±


    ¡°That woman you brought with you?¡±


    I¡¯m barely able to nod.


    She sighs. ¡°I don¡¯t know where you were hold up with her, but¡­ that¡¯s not really important. We¡¯re going to focus on helping fix you, okay?¡±


    ¡°B¨C But¡­ I¡­ I love her! Need her to¨C¡±


    Her face goes hard, not angry just¡­ something else. All authority and command. ¡°Stop.¡±


    My teeth clack together for fear of her having this horrid thing on my back forcing me into silence.


    ¡°Lyra, this is going to hurt, but I need you to understand something. Right now.¡± She leans down to make sure my eyes meet hers. ¡°You¡¯re not going to be allowed near her for a long time, maybe ever again...¡±


    I feel my eyes go wide and start to prickle with tears, then narrow into a glare.


    This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    ¡°What.¡± I hiss.


    ¡°You¡¯ve a very dangerous girl. But¡­ I¡¯ve captured and kept monsters for centuries in rifts like this. This is your home, and I am the only soul you will speak with until I can figure out how to fix your problems.¡± She doesn¡¯t glare back, just¡­ keeps her stare blank. ¡°But that could take years. Maybe longer. The faster you accept that and my help, the happier you¡¯ll be.¡±


    I growl and hiss and spit a few curses at her, twitch furiously to try and¡­ and then I¡¯m grasping at my Amwella.


    She whispers a song hum, and my jaw clenches.


    But¡­ just before I¡¯m able to dig sharp claws into the right talon and begin to weave a song of Fear and Pain and Spite at her. Feel rot and ruin and worst still gather at my back. Naranggas wriggle and begin to rise again and¨C


    Then her hand is on my face, harsh melody quickly murmured, then the thing on my back quivers and bites harder.


    ¡­and my mind is suddenly empty.


    Where¨C where am I?


    A strange pretty Fae lady with red scales and darker eyes leans back to sit in front of me, face hard but¡­ softening as she takes in my confused expression.


    I try to speak, try to move¡­. But¡­ I can only¡­


    Then memories of today crash down. And I¡¯m glaring.


    I gurgle another hiss at her.


    ¡°You¡¯re going to take the rest of the day to cool down.¡± She rises. ¡°I¡¯ll be back in a bit to let you drink and eat if you can stay calm.¡±


    Then she just¡­ leaves me.


    Paralyzed and¡­ and alone and wretchedly breaking. I spend the next few hours sobbing my anger into the warm sand.


    And of course¡­ I¡¯m plagued by three Waking Nightmares.


    My worst ever. Made even more horrid by the fact that I cannot move or scream or cling to my beloved watcher¡¯s soul.


    Twital is there, laughing and carving away at my everything. My mother and Awnya and Usete just¡­ glare down at me. Sad and furious and hurt and and and¡­


    ¡°Stop.¡± Hisses Uldra as she returns to find that I¡¯ve slowly twitched my way into a curled up sobbing mess.


    The nightmare doesn¡¯t lessen just¡­ weaves this horrible Fae¡¯s hard eyes into the motions of it.


    My teeth are clattering, despite the thing that holds them shut.


    ¡°Lyra!¡± She demands harshly. ¡°Stop whatever you''re trying to do.¡±


    I can¡¯t and she just¡­ huffs and walks away. Leaving me to endure the rest of the thing alone.


    Sometime after the sun sets I think I fall into oblivion, only awake to a soft song of quiet and calm at my back.


    As the song quiets Uldra moves to sit back down in front of me.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to let you talk now. And I¡¯d like your first words to be an apology.¡± She says. ¡°Otherwise I¡¯m going to leave you alone again.¡±


    That, more than anything, sends such a ripple of fear through me. And I know she sees it in my eyes. So she nods, murmurs that soft painful tune, and my jaw loosens.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡± I whimper. ¡°P¨CPlease. I¡­ I can¡¯t¡­ I don¡¯t know how to stop a Waking Nightmare when they start! They¡­ Tretion¡¯s soul would¡­ I could cling to her Amwella and it would¨C¡±


    She holds up a hand, cutting me off again. ¡°Apology accepted, but not the rest. You don¡¯t get excuses Lyra.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I hiss, ¡°B¨C But I can¡¯t¡­ I can¡¯t stop them!¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t lie to me.¡± She adjusts to sit cross legged. ¡°Ever. Lyra. This only moves forward when you¨C.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not lying!¡± I scream.


    She jerks back, then tilts her head, expression confused. ¡°You really think that?¡±


    I¡¯m sobbing then, feeling a shadow of terror begin to rise again.


    ¡°I know it, you Dreamer Blighted Cunt!¡± I hiss, ¡°I¨C¡±


    A hiss of sound, and my jaw locks. She just¡­ stares down at me as I gurgle and glare back. Her face is a calm and hard thing of authority and focus.


    ¡°It¡¯s plain that you feel that way.¡± She says very softly, ¡°But I know you can sing through that curse, why don¡¯t you just¡­ sing your mind back to what it needs to be? Remove the things before they hit?¡±


    I just glare. She sighs, ¡°If you start shouting again we¡¯re going to be done for tonight.¡±


    And then my jaw unclenches.


    ¡°I tried. Those first few weeks.¡± I hiss very quietly. ¡°It¡­ it¡¯s not my body or mind that¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s...¡±


    Her calm sort of¡­ falters. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ then what¡¯s the problem? No one even said you¡¯d been suffering these.¡±


    I just¡­ growl. Low and hard. Both at her claim but also¡­ also the idea of any of them knowing what was happening to me. And just¡­ not caring.


    Or¡­ worse. Letting it happen. Barely stop myself from¡­. From reaching for my words of rot and ruin and wonderful maggots. My tails twitch. Her eyes flicker to them, but soon return to me.


    ¡°Then¡­ my point stands. You¡¯re choosing to inflict this on the dream.¡±


    ¡°No! I¡­ I didn¡¯t choose to¡­ to¡­¡± I stammer. Trying to find the words through my anger. ¡°They''re memories that... they hurt and¡­ I¨C just¡­¡±


    ¡°Show me then. When next one of these¡­ What did you call them?¡± She pauses, ¡°Waking Nightmares starts up, I¡¯ll let you sing your Fae-shaping song.¡±


    I huff, annoyed. ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t control them, Uldra. They¡­ they just wash over me sometimes. Tretion also called them¡­ like¡­ other things. She could explain them better.¡±


    She just¡­ hums thoughtfully. And waits.


    It doesn¡¯t take long. Laying in the dirt paralyzed and hurting and so scared and angry and¡­


    I squeeze my eyes shut as the torments return, feel my mind dip into a muck of misery and despair and agonizing memories I cannot pull out of.


    ¡°Okay, Lyra.¡± She prompts after a quick little whistle. ¡°Go ahead. Nothing else though. Don¡¯t betray my trust here.¡±


    I whimper through the curse¡¯s bite and clasp at my suddenly free Amwella. Even feel my Naranggas kick up and begin to dance and twirl about. And I sing my song of Fae shaping, plead the music to still my thoughts and calm the storm that is eating at my mind.


    And just like the times before¡­ It does not help.


    I sing harder and my music becomes a wailing screaming thing. Loud and horrible and desperate to push away the tormenting memories.


    And of course this causes the Waking Nightmare to redoubles their fury at the curse''s bite.


    I taste foul Reaver tongues as they force themselves down my throat, feel big furious hands claw and bite and force me to endure their cruel hunger.


    I don¡¯t know how long it lasts, don¡¯t¡­ I don''t even understand where I am at the end of it.


    Can¡¯t help but cry out for Tretion and Awnya and¡­ and even¡­


    My dark goddess.


    ¡°Pleeeease¡­¡± I shove my head into the sand. ¡°Let me sing.¡±


    ¡°Wh¡ª what is this?¡± Uldra stammers, all her control just¡­ gone. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ I¡­ I don¡¯t understand what I just saw!?! Why didn¡¯t your song fix you?¡±


    Thendra¡¯s voice purrs through my mind. ¡°You do not need fixing, my Lyra.¡±


    And then I¡¯m laughing. A choking sobbing horrid sound at this stupid Dreamer Blighted situation. She doesn¡¯t¡­ Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits she can¡¯t even begin to understand this.


    Even my wretched dark goddess understands me so much better than this Fae ever could.


    Because, unlike this Fae, she understands pain. And how it can break and mold a person.


    Nothing to fix, only¡­ change.


    A harmony of whistling songs, and I feel my Amwella slip back away from easy reach as she weaves a melody of calm and focus for herself. As the song settles, I notice a hand move next to me, digging a furrow. Then an odd gurgling noise begins to echo up from it.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± I ask groggily, trying to stifle the sobbing cackling nonsense still rumbling through me.


    ¡°Making sure you have water for the night.¡± Another whistle, and my hips and left arm prickle with warmth and lack of numbness.


    ¡°Don¡¯t leave this spot.¡± She demands.


    ¡°Where are you going?¡± I¡¯m able to twist and move my arm and hips now.


    ¡°To bed.¡±


    I croak out a laugh as I look around at the patch of dirt she¡¯s leaving me to rest at. ¡°So much for Fae mercy.¡±


    She freezes at that. ¡°What?¡±


    I spit. ¡°Do you even know how this feels? Have you ever even, like¡­ experienced a shred of real pain?¡±


    I turn to glare at her, her expression is carefully blank, but there is such a flash of worry and¡­ and fear. ¡°Lyra. We¡¯re done for tonight. Don¡¯t¨C¡±


    ¡°No!!! You haven''t.¡± I hiss. ¡°None of you have! You all just¡­drown yourselves in love and warmth and have never once felt real Dreamer Cursed Pain!¡±


    A long pause, she doesn¡¯t move or stop me. So I keep going.


    ¡°What were your first memories, Uldra?¡± I ask, ¡°A Fae parent taking you in and giving you a home? Teaching you wonderful Fae songs?¡±


    She gives me the smallest of nods, begins to murmur, ¡°It was mentioned that you¡¯d a rough¨C¡±


    ¡°Mine was the opposite of that.¡± I don¡¯t even try to stop the tears. ¡°The humans that birthed me tried to kill me. Left me cold and broken in the woods. I didn¡¯t even get to feel my mother¡¯s love till after I¡¯d expected to die alone.¡±


    She flinches, hard. As if my sad story is a slap.


    ¡°And you know what? That¡¯s not even the worst pain I¡¯ve survived.¡± I whisper. ¡°And here you are¡­ telling me to just¡­ sing that agony of it away. Fix it like a bruise or cut and not the horrid thing that bubbles up to tear my mind in half!!!¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± Her stammer and wide eyes are such an admission to my thoughts.


    The Fae, all of them, The beings I used to think of as so wonderful and beyond anything I could ever hope to be¡­ are just¡­ completely oblivious to what real agony is!


    ¡°And now you think to lock me away in some blighted rift to waste away? Some¡­ muddled broken thing you¡¯d rather just ignore or unweave.¡± Pain turns to anger, and I twist and begin to sit up a bit using the freed arm. Uldra¡¯s almost too caught up in herself to notice my motions.


    ¡°Lyra¡­ Don¡¯t¨C¡±


    ¡°Let me introduce you to it then, Fae.¡± I hiss softly, and draw up a single word from the little Amwella I can muster in rage against this woman who would see me bound in this place.


    The old brand of Furthonois finally burns HOT as I weave my Melody for The End. And in the split-seconds between those first notes, inspiration hits, and I¡¯m directing the brunt of the song at myself.


    She jolts back, lips whistling and weaving twin harmonies. One to shield herself from my wretched workings echo, the other to command the thing on my back to clamp my jaw shut.


    It¡¯s too late, and the wonderful familiar agony of this song washes through me with nary a thing of giggling familiar pain.


    But¡­ as for the thing the Fae placed on my back?


    It withers at just a whisper of this word.


    And before Uldra can alter her song I am a Reaver again.


    The first lesson Bulderii ever taught me guides my attack as the Fae¡¯s eyes go wide with realization at whatever thing she had attached to my back falls away.


    Rotted and very dead.


    So as the swirl of suddenly sharpened Naranggas wrap about her soul, the first thing I do is jam all three of the right talon¡¯s fingers down this woman¡¯s throat.


    Cutting off her blighted weavings.


    We slam into the ground and she¡¯s already grabbing my wrists and trying to pull the rotted talon from her mouth. She¡¯s stronger than I expect, and effortlessly is already making her soul a gooey slosh that my tails can only cut at a little.


    But I don¡¯t need to pin her, not for long.


    I wail and scream a curse wrapped in all my horrid words. Blood brand on the tongue, eyes locked to hers, and a bit of her weeping soulfire from where my Naranggas already nicked her.


    You will obey all of my(Lyra¡¯s) commands.


    And she¡¯s mine.


    ¡°Lie still and quiet, Fae!¡± I hiss as the final notes of my Lamentation.


    She does after my little rot maggots nibble at her soul a bit. Hands drop to her sides as she glares up at me.


    ¡°Don¡¯t give me that look.¡± I can¡¯t help but giggle in relief. ¡°You can¡¯t expect me to just¡­ lie down and let you take My Tretion from me.¡±


    A beat, and I can see such¡­ sudden terror wash over her as she realizes just how completely helpless she is. And I see too much of my Watcher in the look. It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s almost the same she¡¯d given me when I did this to her.


    When she saw me as a monster.


    I scowl down at the memory, and begin to lay my commands as I straddle her.


    ¡°You will only sing at my command.¡±


    ¡°You will not lie to me, or attempt to lead me into believing a lie.¡±


    ¡°You will not try to restrain, capture, or hurt me again.¡±


    ¡°You will stay close and not run away.¡±


    I spit and take a second to wipe my eyes and mouth of blood as I drag my hand from her mouth. ¡°Good enough for now.¡±


    She gags and coughs. Even lets out a bit of a whimper as I shake the talon. She bit it a little, but nothing beyond breaking the skin. She was trying to get it out, not hold it in.


    ¡°Okay¡­You may talk.¡± I lean down to straddle her. ¡°Where did those blighted Fae take My Tretion?¡±


    She pauses, debates¨C


    ¡°Answer me when I ask you a question.¡± I snap.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    I sigh, then the maggots bite and force her to elaborate. She forgot the second part of that command when she tried to lead me to believe she had no guesses.


    Wow, my maggots really do feel out my will in this¡­


    ¡°But they mean to help her.¡± She gasps. ¡°See if she¡¯s cursed and treat any Amwella harm caused. You can find them in the White Wood most likely with Olits and Trtoo.¡±


    ¡°Hm¡­ have you Fae discovered¨C¡±


    I cut off as the question causes a stumble in my thoughts.


    How to remove my curses?


    I growl, and she flinches. ¡°How are Awnya¡¯s dad and Usete doing?¡±


    ¡°Not well. The father is within weeks of death. Your sibling is stable, finally, from what I¡¯ve heard. But still has bouts of painful Amwella loss.¡± She quickly answers.


    So no¡­ my curses remain strong and unbreakable. I feel¡­ simple annoyance at that. But also a touch of pride¡­


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± I sigh, ¡°I¡¯d hoped Bulderii was lying or¡­¡±


    I tap my fingers on her shoulder a few times.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know who that is.¡± She whispers.


    ¡°I¡­ she was the one who found me and told me to come back.¡± I huff. ¡°Did¡­ did the Fae make a deal with Thendra''s Reavers or something?¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°I¡­ No. None that I¡¯ve been told about.¡± She murmurs, ¡°I¡­ It surprises me to hear that it¡¯s even a possibility.¡±


    I look back at her. ¡°Huh? Then how did they Fae know to wait for me to come back?¡±


    ¡°Melivias had Fae watching that spot with a Stinger''s Flytrap. We decided to try containing and helping you in one of my tilling grounds.¡±


    I keep tapping, and can see her eyes twitch a bit at each motion, so I huff and stop.


    ¡°Okay, let¡¯s keep this simple.¡± I murmur. ¡°You may move.¡±


    She flinches, but otherwise only sort of¡­ shuffles beneath me. I lean down again to hover just above her face. ¡°Now¡­ Take me to my beloved.¡±

 Chapter 62: Hidden Rot in a Beloved Father

    <u>CW:</u>


    Emotional thingies that HURT. A request to die.


    The White Wood is¡­ weird. Where all the other trees go up to poke at the clouds, this thing spirals and weaves down. Spiraling and curling directly into one of the larger islands with a hollowed out trunk that spreads out to at least the span of Theradas¡¯ ravine.


    Uldra leads me, and I¡¯ve laid quite the cacophony of commands to ensure she will not betray me. Simple, but effective. But¡­ also tempered with some flexibility to make sure she can adapt. She knows more about this tower than me, and I¡¯ve made my demands quite clear.


    She huffs, a ton of stress still showing in her tone. ¡°Just¡­ let me handle any talking, okay?¡±


    I snort, ¡°Sure, just don¡¯t betray me.¡±


    She flinches at the command, but¡­ nods. And begins to lead us down the winding pathways that curl around the bit upside down tree¡¯s insides. There are plenty of Fae about, and many of them are just flying about.


    ¡°Once we¡¯re in the White Wood no one can riftwalk.¡± Uldra had explained.


    So as we descend, my own anxieties cause my Naranggas to pull close instead of writhe about. Without their claws the most that could happen is that a Fae gets a little boop of pressure, but¡­ we need to avoid anyone looking too closely at me and my soul.


    *    *    *


    ¡°There won¡¯t be an immediate response, especially with me at your side.¡± She glowers at the sand then as the maggots begin to perk up. ¡°But¡­ There are plenty who would be surprised to see me walking about. I prefer to spend my years in my tilling grounds. And some will have heard word that you¡¯d been brought to me.¡±


    I¡¯d nodded. ¡°And if they confront us?¡±


    She¡¯d huffed. ¡°I¡¯ll try to talk them into thinking that you''re just a new prot¨¦g¨¦ and I left the Blight Weaver to stew for a bit.¡±


    The title made me wince. ¡°What? Is¡­ Really? That¡¯s what you all call me!?!¡±


    She¡¯d shrugged. ¡°I didn¡¯t pick it.¡±


    ¡°Okay but¡­ let¡¯s say someone recognizes me and decides to do something stupid.¡± I press. ¡°What will you do, Uldra?¡±


    She grimaces in pain as a nibble jolts her. ¡°I¡­ I suspect I¡¯ll fight your curse for as long as I can. And if I can weave a song through it to try and trip you up¡­ I¡¯ll do that too.¡±


    A long pause.


    I reach out, mimic my dark goddess and tilt her chin to look into my eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t want any of this. I never have. I was safe and happy and¡­ and healing even.¡±


    That had¡­ well not changed her mind. But¡­ made her seem more contemplative. Conflicted even. But¡­ She¡¯s my only chance at getting my watcher back.


    *    *    *


    Down and down¡­ and eventually I¡­ I think¡­


    ¡°Are we close?¡±


    Uldra nods. ¡°One more level.¡±


    I find myself more comfortable as we turn into a side tunnel. After so long within our manor I prefer closed confined spaces as opposed to the open air.


    ¡°The¡­ at least one of the Fae you blighted are kept here as well.¡±


    I pause, a shadow on my mind''s horizon wiggling up at the name I whisper. ¡°Ganzorig?¡±


    She stops, looks over to me. ¡°Will you try and help him? Like you said?¡±


    I look down at my maimed talon, shake my head to push away the thoughts, ¡°I¡­ If you hadn¡¯t done what you did. I would have tried. But I can¡¯t risk it.¡±


    Tears form as¡­ as I think about Awnya and¡­ and how¡­ how It¡¯ll be my fault when he¡­


    Uldra just¡­ stares. Eyes distant. Hard even. But¡­ more conflicted than ever. ¡°What if¡­ I¡­ tried to work things out for you. Talk with the other elders?¡±


    ¡°Would you let me go? Or help me escape?¡± I whisper. ¡°If¡­ if I tried and it delayed me enough for other Fae to show up?¡±


    She purses her lips, shakes her head. ¡°I still think you¡¯re far too dangerous to be allowed to roam free.¡±


    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    I nod, sniff and wipe my eyes. ¡°Then no. Let¡¯s find my beloved, and get us both out.¡±


    Eventually we¡¯re at a darkened doorway, and inside is a simple living space and kitchen. Even a little couch with-


    My Tretion lies peacefully adrift in sleep. I can¡¯t help but rush over to her and try to shake and kiss her awake as my Naranggas curl around her soul. She stirs and groggily murmurs annoyances and tries to return to sleep. Without hesitation I push through the curse''s sting and begin to hum a quiet melody of waking and love and gentle pleading. Her eyes drift open as my weaving washes over her.


    ¡°Hello beloved.¡± She murmurs, then her face begins to drown in confusion.


    ¡°We need to get out of here.¡± I whisper back. ¡°This¡­ You were right. I¡¯m so sorry.¡±


    She blinks, pushes to sit up and look around the room. Spots Uldra hovering in the doorway. ¡°I¡­ What happened?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ explain when we¡¯re out.¡± I take her hands, pull her to stand. ¡°We need to get above ground so you can take us home.¡±


    Her eyes go a bit wide as sudden fear and realization sets it. ¡°They¡­ Oh Lyra I¡­ They¡­¡±


    I suppress a wince as the cold wash of it begins to cut into my own unsteady emotions as I sense her panic through my Naranggas.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay!¡± I touch her face. ¡°Let¡¯s just¡­ go.¡±


    She nods, swallows, soul alight with fear and worry but¡­ she¡¯s better at steadying herself. But then her eyes dart over me to a doorway within this little room. Soul sparks up with worry and sadness and¡­ and such despair and¡­


    I turn, and realize what I missed.


    ¡°They¡­ Asked me things, and a song made me happy to talk and help and¡­ listen.¡± She whispers while standing. ¡°When they told me of my own curse they wanted to compare and¡­¡±


    I can¡¯t see him, but¡­ I can hear the subtle drifting of the old Fae¡¯s ancient melody.


    Uldra¡¯s eyes meet mine, and I swallow. ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t. I wouldn¡¯t even know where to start¡­¡±


    I¡¯m pulling Tretion toward the door, wracked between fear and¡­ and¡­ I make the mistake of glancing over through the doorway.


    The room is empty, and Ganzorig sits cross legged on a mat with a single cup of some drink beside him. His Amwella is nothing but a cracked husk of holes and horrid fissures with black rot at the edges.


    I would have kept moving, would have¡­ have just run. But then his eyes open and lock onto mine. Both would be perfect and healed if not for the angry brand that curls over the white of one of them. And his face¡­ it¡­ it¡­


    No.


    Anger roils as I see his own cold regard. The Naranggas free of my lover¡¯s soul writhe.


    It¡¯s only then that I realize I¡¯ve stopped.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Tretion prompts.


    But I¡¯m already moving, unsteady legs carrying me toward this old dying Fae.


    He just¡­ glowers at me as I stop in the doorway, my terrified watcher behind me.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t want this.¡± I whisper, glare back. ¡°You came after me.¡±


    His eyes narrow, and I can feel his response to that.


    You hurt Awnya.


    ¡°It¡­ That was an accident.¡± I hiss, ¡°She¡­ she was trying to help and¡­ and I didn¡¯t know how to control them and... and I''d been... The...¡±


    An eyebrow raises ever so slightly at my stammering of excuses.


    I growl. ¡°You may ignore all my previous commands, Just¡­ don¡¯t try to capture, hurt, or unweave me.¡±


    A long pause, and I see no change.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to die.¡± I huff and look away. ¡°I hate you, but¡­ Look just¡­ They say you''re dying and don¡¯t know why. But¡­ that should only happen if you''re resisting a command, and Awnya no doubt cleared them all.¡±


    No reply.


    ¡°So¡­ Why? What command are you resisting that¡¯s killing you?¡±


    I huff in annoyance after a few heartbeats, then turn to leave with¨C


    ¡°Rot and Ruin,¡± He whispers, ¡°That¡¯s a relief, at least.¡±


    I pause, turn to glare. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re just¡­ too young and stupid to know what you¡¯re doing.¡± He grumbles a laugh. ¡°Will make it easier then.¡±


    I bristle. ¡°Will make what easier?¡±


    ¡°For them to handle you.¡±


    I round on the Fae, the word making the brand on my soul twitch. ¡°Why!?! I¡­ I never wanted this! Never wanted to curse you or¡­ or Usete or¨C¡±


    He shrugs. ¡°Does it matter?¡±


    I hiss, take another step toward him. But¡­ but¡­ seeing his soul, all the wounds and agony and¡­ and¡­


    ¡°Why can¡¯t it?¡± I can feel tears prickle in my eyes. ¡°Why¡­ Why can¡¯t I just find a little happiness!?!¡±


    That¡­ makes him pause, a flash of something behind his ancient eyes.


    Guilt?


    ¡°Lyra I¡­¡± Tretion touches my arm. ¡°We should leave. This is just¨C¡±


    ¡°You blight everything you love.¡± He murmurs.


    I jerk, ¡°N¨C No¡­ That¡¯s¡­¡±


    His eyes flit past me, to my watcher. ¡°Is there a lover that you haven''t cursed, Lyra?¡±


    I go still, ¡°Not Awnya. You know I¡¯d never do that to her!¡±


    ¡°Maybe¡­¡± A flash of relief, then his face stills. ¡°Good thing she¡¯s not here.¡±


    I can¡¯t stop the rage filled tears then as¡­ and memories of his attempt at unmaking. At how¡­ how I could feel those old wrong human things¨C


    Tretion souls sings of a very direct and focused worry. ¡°Lyra. We need to go. You can¡¯t help him.¡±


    I look back at her, eyes filling with tears. ¡°B¨C But If¡­ I¡­ He¡¯s Awnya¡¯s dad! Her beloved father. I¡­ She loves him and¡­ and if he dies because of me¡­¡±


    Her face matches her soul''s pain at my despair. ¡°I know, but¡­ you can¡¯t.¡± She takes both talons, tugs me toward the door.


    There¡¯s a grunt, and I jerk back to see Ganzorig hunch over in pain, the rot maggots beginning to bite. Hard. Harder than I¡¯ve ever seen. So hard that I know the rest of his soul will crack if this keeps going.


    Without hesitation I yelp out and am darting toward him. ¡°You may Ignore all my commands!¡±


    Then I¡¯m at his side, angry and crying and pleading.


    ¡°Please! Ganzorig! D¨C Don¡¯t¨C¡±


    But he¡¯s still grunting in pain, eyes¡­ eyes squeezed shut as the rot maggots continue to nibble furiously. Uldra joins me. Sits in silent worry with me.


    WHY!?! There are no commands left! This shouldn¡¯t be happening!!!


    ¡°I¡­ Lyra.¡± He grunts. ¡°The¡­ the curse it¡¯s¡­¡± He reaches out, and places a hand on my shoulder. I freeze then.


    Sudden fear that¡­ that he¡¯ll try to unweave me again.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± He huffs.


    The maggots bite so hard at those words.


    ¡°Wh¨C What?¡± I jerk back as if he slapped me.


    The¡­ the words and the rot maggots reaction to them just¡­ not making sense.


    ¡°You¡­ you need to know¡­ I¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I was wrong.¡±


    ¡°B¨C But¨C¡±


    ¡°The first¡­ the first lines of your curse. I¡­ I thought¡­ A trap for the Fae. But you didn¡¯t. Didn¡¯t mean to lay it that way.¡± He coughs as a huge part of his soul cracks and falls away. ¡°You¡¯re just as¡­ as mangled as the blights you bleed.¡±


    Uldra balks at that, ¡°What do you mean, Old Goat?¡±


    He shakes his head. ¡°The curse, it¡­ it demands that I Spread the Rot, and Stir the Dream.¡±


    I freeze. ¡°No¡­ No it was just a command. Just a¡­ a demand to obey me¡­ I didn¡¯t¡­¡±


    But as he lifts his eyes to gaze into mine, displaying that horrid blood brand to me, and the memory of that terrible night drowns me.


    Of¡­ of how in a split second of madness I had whispered that into the song as I popped his eye and wove the curse¡­


    * * *


    I hiss and wriggle fingers beneath his thick stone hand, get just enough space to sing a curse of¨C


    Spread the Rot. Stir the dream!!!


    A blighted talon jerks out, finds a face of stone and¡­ something soft and wet and¡­ pops it with a thumb. Sticky and warm blood explodes from the wound.


    Ganzorig grunts, takes my wrist and pulls it free of his eye, but¡­ it¡¯s too late.


    You will obey all my(Lyra¡¯s) commands.


    Rot maggots burst within his soul. Writhing beautiful little horrors bound to my will and command.


    * * *


    I whimper as the memory solidifies, reaching out to take his face. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡­ I didn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°My fault.¡± He grunts. Another part of his soul flakes off, leaving such a small thing left. ¡°Lyra, you¡­ you need help. Not¡­ not an unmaking. I''m... I think that you might even be more F-¡±


    Another bite.


    ¡°N¨C No. Ganzorig. Stop!¡± I¡¯m pleading through terrible sobs.


    He looks to Uldra. ¡°Tell them that. Tell them I¡­ I¡¯ve been trying to fight it¡­ but¡­ but It started to mangle me. Made things¡­ so confusing. Made me suggest and say things that¡­ that might get there. Quick or slow¡­ it did not matter.¡± He turns back to me. ¡°Just so long as it spreads rot and ruin, and what better way than to just keep hurting you?¡±


    Uldra¡¯s face is one of horror as she realizes what this means. That¡­ that after that night Ganzorig had been compelled under threat of Amwella death to spread the blight he devoted himself to containing, and that at some point he realized that the best way to do this was to direct the Fae into mimicking his horrible plans for me.


    All that anger at his daughter, all his spite toward me¡­ it¡­ it was just, at least in part, him being pushed by my blighted curse!?!


    At least after that night!?!


    ¡°I¡­ I need you to¡­ to do something. For me.¡± The maggots settle at the pain behind those words.


    ¡°Anything.¡± I take his old tired face in my good hand. ¡°Just please don¡¯t di¨C¡±


    ¡°Help me unweave myself.¡±

 Chapter 63: Overture to a Dreadsong

    <u>CW:</u>


    Assisted suicide. Deaths. talon''s down throats.


    I jolt to a halt, Uldra¡¯s eyes go wide as his request settles between us.


    ¡°No... I can¡¯t¡­¡± I stammer.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want the Rot to take me. Want to¡­ to end clean.¡± He looks between us.


    The maggots settle, because they know¡­ they know how much this agony will ripple out from this.


    How his death will hurt me and stir the dream.


    ¡°Maybe they¡¯ll find a way to heal you!¡± I whimper, eyes locked to his as my hands fall away. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ll try to sing the curse off and¨C¡±


    Ganzorig reaches out, touches my cheek. ¡°No. They¡¯ve tried, and if you get close to succeeding the curse will finish me at this point.¡±


    And like the mountains his soul sings of, I can see in his eyes that he is ready for his flame to fade.


    So I find comfort in the punishment of the curse¡¯s bite as I begin a soft horrid melody of Ganzorig¡¯s ending. And the maggots do not bite or sting as his songs are joined with mine.


    A guiding hand to direct my wellspring of Amwella to know what to pull and where to push.


    It doesn¡¯t take nearly long enough, and¡­ and by the end he¡¯s taken me into his big rocky arms even as I can feel them cracking and crumbling.


    He can weave no comforts into his song. Knows that the curse could flare up and end him in blighted rot and ruin if he offers me even a small amount of peace.


    Uldra doesn¡¯t help either. She can¡¯t. Stopped by my own commands from singing.


    A deep sigh in the old Fae¡¯s soul and song, and I begin to see his Amwella shift and¡­ and begin to¡­ to¡­


    Golden light, like a flame begins to ripple across the soul. A burning that consumes the rot maggots and ripples across his Amwella. And for a second my song shifts to hope and joy and such sudden¨C


    But then his own soul begins to burn.


    I squeeze him tighter, and my song shifts down into such misery and despair.


    But Ganzorig¡¯s harmony to my agony is one of such relief.


    A wondrously beautiful song of a man free of pain for the first time in over a year. Then his unyielding arms shift. Unbreakable steady stone finally just... shattering. I feel them turn to dust and ash.


    By the time I realize he¡¯s gone, all that¡¯s left in my hands are the robes he was wearing.


    And I barely even notice the sudden end to my curses sting as I stare down at the half-dozen cracked scales that remain among his ashes.


    Then my everything is shattering with him as Tretion takes me into her arms.


    "Beloved, I¡­ I know. But we need to go.¡± She murmurs as tendrils curl about me.


    ¡°I¡­ I didn¡¯t¡­ I¡­¡±


    She pulls me close, but also drags me to stand. ¡°I know. But we need to-¡±


    A call, a murmur of song, and someone asking something.


    Not Uldra, and not Tretion.


    By the time I¡¯m able to look around my watcher the three Fae have already moved farther into the room. I recognize the tall bird lady, Melivias, but not the other two.


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ Not as simple as we thought.¡± Uldra is standing and approaching them, tears in her eyes.


    Melivias raises a hand, an annoyed glare on her face. ¡°I can sense the blight on you, Uldra.¡±


    And suddenly my own sadness and despair is suddenly replaced with cold furious Reaver instincts.


    Muscles coil like a viper, ready to move and shove talons down throats.


    Uldra glances back to me, a plea in her eyes. One begging for trust. But¡­


    I pull Naranggas free of my Tretion, and take a step to shield her, gathering my Amwella up just shy of enduring another sting. But my core is still so bruised from the day of such tiring and blighted songs.


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    ¡°We¡¯re leaving.¡± I hiss. ¡°Move.¡±


    The Fae don¡¯t, only shift in fury and fear as their glimmering eyes try to follow my whirling Naranggas.


    ¡°Lyra, let me calm them.¡± Uldra murmurs, eyes drift past me to the pile of ashes. ¡°I¡­ Please.¡±


    ¡°Will you get them to let me leave?¡± I ask flatly.


    She winces, fights to¡­ to¡­ to give me an answer I want to hear. But can¡¯t. Bound to give me only truths and never lead me into believing a lie.


    ¡°I¡­ I won''t. But¡­ Maybe we can work something out?¡±


    ¡°Uldra, was it?¡± My watcher asks. Seeing an echo of my own past commands to her. ¡°You heard his words, his death song. He believes what you¡¯ve all sought for my Lyra was wrong.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but wither a bit as I... I recall the horrid thing Awnya''s father asked me to sing for him. The melody and the tune and... and how it just... harmonized so well with another horrid Fae word.


    ¡°What?¡± Melivias asks, eyes widen a bit. ¡°He¡­ the Old Goat is¡­¡±


    ¡°Dead, yes.¡± Tretion supplies quickly and without hesitation. ¡°He wished to pass due to his own songs instead of a curse¡¯s bite. Tragic, but in the end even he said it wasn¡¯t Lyra¡¯s fault. That he knows he pushed her into defending herself when she laid that curse. I was not there, and do not know even the faintest details of the conflict, but I know my beloved, she does not wish to cause pain and suffering.¡±


    I have to take a few deep breaths as my heart is both broken and soothed by her words. Need to return a Naranggas to her soul to calm my own writhing soul. Need to¡­ to keep a Waking Nightmare from hitting now.


    I miss the first few words of whatever one of the two other Fae are saying. ¡°...Intentions were. We need to contain her. Limit any possible Rot she might spread.¡±


    The brand on my soul seethes.


    I hiss, low and warning. ¡°Like Uldra just tried? By taking my lover from me and¡­ and leaving me helpless and alone on a blighted rift!?!¡±


    A long pause as they flinch back at my anger. I let my Naranggas spread and loosen grip on Tretion as my knees bend.


    ¡°It¡­¡± Uldra tries to speak, winces as a maggot nibbles. ¡°I am inclined to believe it was the correct choice, and I would still work to do it again. But... We can work out a compromise, I think? One that allows you to see your watcher at times?¡±


    I growl. ¡°I¡¯m not letting any of you touch me again, Uldra.¡±


    "You''ve no right to her body or soul." Tretion adds, a comforting hand lightly brushing at my shoulders. "She came here in good faith to help your kind heal, and you attacked her. Were I''m from such actions are not the mark of a good people."


    Melivias only just now seems to recover a bit from the realization of the Fae¡¯s death. Looks to her two companions, to Uldra, then to me.


    Glimmering eyes narrow with unshed tears. ¡°You cursed her.¡±


    ¡°Of course! She was going to keep me as¡­ as some kind of pet or slave on that blighted rift!¡± I spit, words of the Old Road coming out before I can consider them. ¡°I will Reave anyone who tries to claim me as their own.¡±


    They bristle at the words, then balk at my threat.


    Tretion''s hand stills to rest on my shoulder. ¡°She¡¯s spent the past year with me not spreading this¡­ rot you speak of. Safe and healing. We only left that to come and try to help.¡±


    ¡°And now another Fae is dead.¡± Melivias retorts, angry and hurting.


    Tretion replies as softly as possible. ¡°He was at peace with his decision and spent his final words admitting his mistakes. Do you wish to honor his memory by repeating them?¡±


    I can¡¯t help but curl a tendril around her soul in such love and admiration. So glad she is better with words than I am.


    But¡­ Sensing that she is pleading into the howling winds now.


    Melivias shakes her head. ¡°I¡­ We can worry about that later. Lyra this is your last chance to¨C¡±


    That¡¯s the mistake my body was waiting for.


    A pause, a second of broken words to clarify both that this Fae will not be moved, and that she is incredibly stupid and will announce herself like a squawking hawk before diving after prey.


    Despite her age, she is too stupid to consider a lone Reaver the match for three mature Fae.


    She¡¯s fast, I¡¯ll give her that, and is able to weave the beginnings of a tune before I¡¯m slamming into her and jamming my blighted talon down her throat.


    Naranggas strike out like vipers at the two Fae souls at my sides, wrapping around and around before squeezing tight. The beginnings of melodies of protecting and sleeping and other useless things begin to echo.


    But¡­ the eruption of my tendrils'' eternity of tooth and claw send such a painful surge through them that it is choked. Neither are as old or sturdy as Ganzorig, nor as quick to melt and escape me before I am yanking their Amwella free of their bodies.


    Ending two Fae as easily as breathing.


    Melivias has my wrist in one hand while swiping the other across my face. I would have screamed as her own talons ripped across one of my eyes, But I¡¯m feasting on two wondrously vibrant Fae flames and can¡¯t even feel the pain.


    Can already taste their weeping life, feel my own form and Amwella burn hot to restore the wounds. Just¡­ just like a Reaver.


    Her soul is already melted, a darting thing that whirls away from my tendril with the ease and grace of a leaf on the wind. But against all three of my hungry Naranggas?


    Even with the delirium and dizziness of sudden and intoxicating feeding euphoria I am able to cut and slice and make this Dreamer Blighted slaver scream and thrash against the talon that chokes her.


    Screams and shouts of surprise and fear from behind me. Yelps of pain as I sense Uldra¡¯s soul flinch and quiver as my curse stops her from helping her fellow Fae.


    It¡¯s only then that I consider not killing this Fae. That¡­ that I glare down into her eyes and wonder if I should endure more of my curse¡¯s pain to bind her to my will like Uldra.


    A flash of golden eyes and a pleading grasp at my arm. A memory of another who has now lost a father to my wretched workings¡­ and I grind my teeth and hiss a curse onto this horrid woman¡¯s soul.


    You will obey all of my(Lyra¡¯s) commands.


    ¡°Lie still.¡± I growl as my song ends and rot maggots settle into her core.


    She doesn¡¯t, not at first, but her Amwella is not Ganzorig¡¯s or even Uldra¡¯s. And soon she is exhausted and gasping from the pain. Limp beneath my hold.


    ¡°You will remain here, mute and still until you hear a Fae confirm I am gone from this place. Then you may ignore all my commands.¡±


    Then I¡¯m rising, eye still healing but¡­ devoid of pain. Turn back to see Tretion kneeling over Uldra and just¡­ staring at me. Eyes wide with¡­ with¡­


    Fear.


    ¡°T¨C Tretion?¡± I whisper.


    A beat, she blinks. Then shakes her head and rises. Approaches slowly, cautiously. My Naranggas desperately want to touch her soul and bask in its affections¡­


    But¡­ but I¡­ what if she saw me kill these two and¨C


    Hand at my cheek, thumb beneath my maimed healing eye. ¡°Let¡¯s go home beloved.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. You did what you had to do.¡± She takes up my talons, begins to lead me toward the door. ¡°Can you lead us out?¡±


    I nod, give a command to the slumped Uldra to stay here and that she may ignore all my commands at the same time as the bird Fae, and we¡¯re moving at a quickened pace.


    ¡°You said we can¡¯t riftwalk till we¡¯re above ground?¡±


    ¡°Mhm.¡±


    ¡°Okay, then let¡¯s move quickly. Can you try and hide us with your songs? The ones you told me about?¡±


    ¡°I... I think so? I don¡¯t know if they¡¯ll be good enough to fool the Fae though.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s worth the risk, I think. Otherwise I might stand out a bit.¡± She quickens her pace. ¡°Lyra, I need you to take hold of my soul. We can''t risk a Waking Nightmare here.¡±


    I squeeze my eyes shut and let them touch and weave about her soul while I push through my curse to ask this big tree to hide us.


    And nearly choke out a sob as her Amwella sings only of love for me and worries about our safety. Not even a shred of fear or worry as my dangerous soul tails curl around her soul still dripping of the weepings of Fae Amwella...


    Outside the tunnels the big open area is thankfully fairly empty with only a few Fae about.


    But with every step my mind keeps sagging down toward the muck in my soul.


    Feeding euphoria is a balm of warm satisfied joy, and it is fading fast as the raging storm of horror at¡­ at what¡¯s all happened today drags me down.


    Fighting to keep my legs moving as I remember the weird thing that drove into my back and paralyzed me.


    The threat of centuries alone with only Uldra, the despair and fury and¡­ and Reavers hunting and chasing and¡­


    I¡¯m stumbling then, Tretion holds me up as my song sputters out.


    The curse''s pain only acts as a beacon to this Waking Nightmare now.


    ¡°I got you love, I¡¯ll get us out.¡± She¡¯s lifting me as best she can, and my Naranggas squeeze as tightly as they can.


    Trying to¡­ to drag the perfect cold from her soul into mine¡­


    Ganzorig¡¯s unmaking, my blighted curse that drove him to such pain and misery. His anger and fury a brew poured out because of how I¡¯d let the maggots direct my will in those horrid seconds. I¡¯d cursed him to drive the Fae to seek to hurt me.


    And¡­ and then I helped end him.


    Awnya¡¯s beloved father... She... she''s going to be hurt so much by this!!!


    I... she''s... if she... if she didn''t hate me before this... how could she ever forgive me for this!?!?


    How... how can I ever forgive myself?


    Tretion stumbles a bit, then hisses in pain. ¡°Lyra¡­ Lyra I need you to loosen your grip. L¨C Let me¨C¡±


    Perfect weeping warmth drips from the glacier of wondrous fire I cling to. And it¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s helping drive back the muck.


    A few calls of Fae song. A sudden curiosity in the two odd creatures stumbling from the heart of the Twilight Court.


    Tretion lifts me, ¡°We¡¯re close, beloved. Al- almost home. Hold on tight.¡±


    So I do, and right as the light breaks the ridge and the familiar green storm engulfs us to sweep us home.


    Then I feel a crack beneath my Naranggas.


    Followed by a shattering of ice, and a wash of soulfire.

 Chapter 64: Her Shrike of The End

    <u>Cw:</u>


    SO good news ffirst! BEG chappy and first ever ever Tretion POV. YAY!


    Bad news... Death. Suicide attempts. soul drinking. First Tretion POV.


    We¡¯re home. And I¡¯m all but fully carrying her forward to safety.


    My Beloved.


    My Lyra.


    Touching the gateway, shouting for Lenelope as we collapse into a slump. But¡­ but why am I so tired?


    Why do I feel so weak. So cold. Colder than I''ve ever¡­


    I glance down at myself, looking for¡­ for¡­


    Lyra¡¯s cute soul tails pull back, drenched in the shards of my own cracked and broken soul and slurping up the remains.


    Leaving me empty. A corpse just waiting for her final breaths.


    But¡­ My body just hasn¡¯t caught up. Sometimes these things can take a few moments to¡­ to settle in. Amwella Death is often a thing the victims have time to feel fully before... before...


    So without hesitation I kneel and curl around my Lyra.


    My little wonderful Fae.


    I can only weep at what I know she¡¯ll awaken to as I watch her spasm and sob through what is the worst Waking Nightmare I¡¯ve ever seen her suffer.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, beloved.¡± I whisper. ¡°I¡­ I love you so much. You are the most perfect girl I¡¯ve ever met. Thank you for saving me. From¡­ from my own wretched family and horrid mind.¡±


    So cold. Everything¡­ everything is fading now. Going still and¨C


    ¡°Please don¡¯t¡­ Don¡¯t blame yourself for this. It¡¯s not your fault! Please. Go to Awnya and¡­ and find your happiness without me. Please. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU¡­¡±


    Then I close my eyes and wait for the end as I chant those words over and over and over as I feel the cold gathering.


    Almost¡­. Almost wish I could take her with me¡­ Help her escape this horrid life that only seems to hurt us both.


    * * *


    I awaken to the sight of my watcher¡¯s cold and still face, arms and head tendrils wrapped around me.


    Lenelope is crying softly off to one side.


    And I know from all of my senses, all at once, that my beloved is dead and gone from this dream.


    ¡°Tretion!?!¡±


    No breath, no cold affections, no soul.


    I¡¯m jerking up then. Looking down to my own core to¡­ to see¡­


    Shards of cold blue scattered about. Pieces of the soul of my Beloved. Cracked and consumed within my own.


    ¡°No!¡± I hiss. ¡°No no no no no!!!¡±


    I roll Tretion onto her back even as soul wracking sobs consume me.


    I ate her soul!?!


    That¡­


    That wasn¡¯t¨C


    I didn¡¯t¨C


    The curse stings, and I am growling nonsense Fae words down at my Amwella, demanding it give up what it just ate.


    Nothing happens.


    Frothing and spitting and hissing I lay my threats clear, hear the echo of old words I growled at Usete¡­


    ¡°I will sing the blighted dreaming cunt of a goddess awake if she won¡¯t GIVE MY TRETION BACK!!!¡±


    Bubbles begin to writhe and tremble at my threat. Our manor suddenly roused and sensing the death and fury rising within it''s depths and... and something more that I don''t have the mind to-


    New Caretaker.


    I freeze in¡­ in terror at¡­ at how it wants me to be¡­


    The manor growls a warning to me.


    Stop.


    In sudden fury I redouble my working. Twisting all my Fae words into the mix.


    Perfect and horrible alongside the writhing and wretched. The Fae word for home wrecked and ruined by fear and pain and spite amidst the Melody for The End.


    The bubbles try to wrap about me, crackle and pop and work to wind up to try and cover my mouth and drag me from my reckless workings.


    To... to drag me into becoming their new mistress.


    Alone again in the place that I killed the one woman who loved me with reckless abandon.


    Without hesitation I toss a chorus of pain back at it, watch in a sort of gleeful regret as the bubbles pop and the floor beneath them shake. Our home screams in agony and terror. And I know that I have wounded it.


    I turn back to Tretion, to my own soul, to¡­ to the shards of cruel pitiless Ice that do nothing but continue to melt and dissolve into my own core.


    Wailing now, face only inches from hers. A crazed Fae screaming at the dream to wake her beloved.


    But the dream doesn¡¯t answer. Doesn¡¯t yield. And the more I fight and twist and bare my soul toward this task, the more my Amwella and curse burns and bites.


    The more it eats the soulflame I took from her.


    So¡­ In sudden deep and unbearable terror of a Waking Nightmare of my own making¡­ I keep my promises.


    I twist the Melody of The End as the core of my song, and decide to Reave the Dream that would take my beloved watcher from me. Rot maggots rise up, Amwella writhes and weeps from my core like a flood, as I devote my everything to what I know will be this body¡¯s last song as the curse bites so hard.


    My Shrike of The End.


    The house is screaming with me now, and I think I hear Lenelope¡¯s pleading sobs for me to stop. Wordless begging at the Reaver who means to shred everything around her.


    The floor trembles, and there is the far off groaning of a large beast dying. The walls and floor have just¡­ started to crack. And I smell the sea that would consume any who find themselves between the Rifts.


    A void drowning in rot and blight and fouler things still.


    But I¡¯m pouring everything into this song of reckless misery and agony and hatred. As much Amwella as will fit into my cursed melody. The symphony of my pain and sorrows rolling out from my everything. A great working of song and soul I will use to rouse the Dreamer and END THIS NIGHTMARE!


    A few of my Maggots even sing with me, slip from the blighted talon to burrow into the popped and wounded bubbles all around us.


    Weaving my Dreadsong into the manor¡¯s crumbling foundations under the threat of this horrid Dream¡¯s End.


    BRING MY WATCHER BACK!!!


    Then the house cracks, tilts to one side a ship in a storm, and I¡¯m losing my balance. Sliding away from my lover, barely holding onto my song as I reach out to hold her hand one last¨C


    A mighty crash, and I¡¯m thrown back, tumbling¡­ and I¡¯ve slipped out of a large crack in the manor¡¯s walls into the sea of death beyond.


    * * *


    Rot and Ruin, blight and that wretched void roils around me.


    It hurts.


    Burns flesh and bone and soul. Freezes and bites and twists and¡­ and¡­ But then it stops?


    I can¡¯t help but¡­ but find such comfort in the wash and waves all around me. A calming balm that soothes a broken soul that writhes in agony after my Dreadsong¡¯s ending.


    Then there¡¯s a... A pulse? And suddenly the dark muck twists into the most vibrant colors and shapes! A wonderful beautiful ocean that twists and whirls in tune with my heart and soul.


    A lover returned to Her horrid embrace.


    I¡¯m still consumed by pain and despair and just¡­ wanting to¡­ to end with my beloved watcher. But¡­ no songs can be sung in this blighted ocean, and no oblivion can take me. So for a time¡­ I just¡­


    Drift.


    Repressing a sobbing melody that aches to finally be free of all this agony.


    Eventually great glowing shapes pass by me, and pods of glimmering little nightmares wriggle up to inspect this odd thing that swims through their beloved ocean. At first I vaguely worry they might nibble at my toes and soul. Seek to devour this little beacon of warmth and song slipping through an ocean of death. But¡­ They just snuggle close before darting away.


    They don¡¯t want to hurt me. Why would they? Why scorn or ravage me when there is such a grand feast of death around them? The corpse of some goddess long dead and rotting just¡­ easily consumed and enjoyed.


    So I join them.


    Open myself up to drink wonderfully vibrant blight into my everything!


    Let it replace all the old stupid things that hurt my mind and soul.


    Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.


    Then¡­ quicker than I can prepare for¡­


    I forget who I was, who I am, and who I wanted to be.


    No pain, nor memories, or dreams to contrast the vibrant muck of this void. Only friendly little monsters and grand leviathans swimming about my pretty forever home.


    After that... I''m content to let the soul tails drag me along. Sweet wriggly guides through the¡­ the¡­ what was this all called again?


    Oh well. It doesn¡¯t matter. I like it here.


    It¡¯s perfect for me.


    At some point a cluster of new and wonderful little awkward things find me. Lumps of fuzzy color and soft fur. The clutch snuggles close and coo affectionately as if they¡­ They know me?


    And... and adore me!?!


    My heart flutters and my eyes leak radiant tears for these wonderful creatures that wish to swim and wiggle through the blight with us. And soon they¡¯re pestering me to bring them another feast of sweet warmth.


    Or maybe¡­ maybe even just good snuggles?


    I don¡¯t remember them, but I love them and really want to make them happy. So I hold them close and promise to try.


    Days and months and years and eternities pass¡­ I think. I¡¯m not sure that matters here.


    Just¡­ another thing I forgot and don¡¯t feel the need to worry about.


    But¡­ eventually my Naranggas lead me to something¡­ solid? A wall of unyielding warmth we cannot feast open. My new family grumbles and nibbles at it. Begging me to try and¡­ and go through. To take them with me and find wonderful things to eat and snuggle!


    So of course I do it!


    I¡¯ll do anything for those that want to be with me!


    I pull my family close, settle them in the deepest recesses of myself. Into the maybe places of thought and song at the edges of my mind and soul.


    Then I¡¯m exploring the wall, finding little holes and breaks that could allow me to pass. Weave and squeeze myself through cracks and scars and little leaks. With every moment, little memory flashes wash against my mind. And¡­ and I would hesitate, would recoil back at the sudden pain and agony of the things. But¡­ My little family is preening and cooing and so very happy at the promises I made while my tendrils continue to fight to move us forward.


    So I keep going. Wriggling and tunneling my way to a dry city of sand and spice.


    And like some oozing odd thing I am crawling naked up from the muck I¡¯ve been swimming in. Coughing and choking and gagging up the ocean while I grip at the heated sandstone floor. And as I drag my way up, the colorful ocean drips away.


    Leaving me as the only trace of its existence.


    I just¡­ lay there for a while. Staring up at the rolling stars above as¡­ as thoughts begin to form.


    I was here before? When?


    What¡­ What was I doing¡­?


    Horrid memories begin to nibble and bite at the edges of my mind, and I can feel a Waking Nightmare beginning to follow as my body is being slowly wrapped in¡­ something.


    Something beautiful that hurts and burns with the fire of my soul, then cools and settles about my wriggly mess.


    Oldest memories first, starting with my shouting humans, the woods, the¡­ the Fae and the mercy of a beloved sibling¡¯s hatred¡­


    I fight to stand, desperate to¡­ to find someone. A¡­ a person who can help me?


    But my body is a weird mess of strange sensations and old unfamiliar motions. All girl shapes but... Still used to happily wriggling through my beloved ocean.


    Then I see it¡­ the entrance to a manor. Doors familiar and¡­ and behind them? What?


    Glowing Jade eyes. Her dark smile, cruel affections and painful lessons come back in a rush as I tumble forward. All desperate desires for her unyielding gaze and strong arms to¡­ to hold me and mold my thoughts into something I can survive!


    Then I¡¯m at the doors, shoving them open, nearly falling to my knees as¡­ as¡­ Seven hungry predators stare back. Smothering Amwella sight crushes the hope that was kindling within my soul as watchers eyestalk twist and bob to watch me. Hateful and hauntingly all too familiar to¡­ someone else.


    Someone I loved? And¡­ Or someone I hated?


    I can only stand and stare at the conflict brewing within my own soul and searching desperately for the Jade eyes of the one who can help me.


    A few low growls of surprise rumble through them, curiosity at this new strange woman who just stumbled into their pit. But then that turns to hunger, a few exchanged words in our beautiful tongue. Some eyes glimmer, and they tilt their heads to watch my tails in curiosity.


    ¡°Who is this?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve not seen another bearing a soul growth like our cruelties.¡±


    ¡°She looks like an escaped slave.¡±


    I hiss, soul tails twist and writhe about as a strange brand on my soul howls at their words.


    A few low thrums of laughter. And even more come from the stairs and side passages, marking their number at ten total. One steps forward, a cruel grin on her face as she sort of¡­ kneels. Eyestalks all focusing on me.


    ¡°Hello, little one.¡± She purrs. ¡°You¡¯ve wandered into a dangerous place. But, if you come with me I¡¯ll make sure our feedings are¨C¡±


    But I¡¯m already leaping at her in a hissing spitting fit of sudden fury, and the memories start to return in a flood as I kill Twital again.


    Flashes of my bargains laid before me as clear as words on a page when another Reaver gets a hold of my arm and snaps it like a twig. But¡­ she¡¯s just a dead woman growling at the dream¡¯s end.


    Her soul is already eaten and being turned into the fuel to burn through this body to fix the damage while her Naranggas joins mine.


    The next three are harder, and get a few good cuts on my Amwella before It goes wiggly. But the first two women¡¯s souls were assimilated by then, so my new tails give me enough strength to rip their souls free and assimilate their tails. Getting out from under their corpses before the next four got to me wasn¡¯t easy though.


    But¡­ another memory flashes. Golden amber eyes and giggling Amwella dances help me twist free and dart beneath their hands before I¡¯m digging clean talons into two while wailing curses through an old curses sting.


    Maggots preen and yip in joy at my gift of soulfire.


    It barely hurts now. A pinprick of pain compared to the memories it triggers.


    You will obey all of my(Lyra¡¯s) commands.


    ¡°Lie still and NEVER stop clawing your own eyes out.¡± I hiss in our shared purring tongue.


    Leaving them for later as my Naranggas Reave the other two souls free.


    The last hesitates, considers the door, but in her hesitation I drive my countless Naranggas into her soul and tear it in two before slurping down the contents.


    It would have been so quiet if not for the wonderful melody of the two living Reaver¡¯s wailing hissing growls. A harmony of pain dancing between following my command and clawing out their own eyes over and over again as their body tries to restore them¡­ or not and bearing the curses sting.


    After a while, the muck of memories start to hurt again, so I consume their agonized souls and reclaim my¡­ my¡­


    Maggots?


    But¡­ That¡¯s such a horrid name for them!!! They¡¯re my family!!! And honestly¡­ more like little tendril-less jellyfish.


    I¡­ I wonder if they would like to grow some?


    Memories of the abyss between the Rifts flood into me. Of perfect calm and Dreamless wanderings. But after only a few joyous moments of feeding euphoria, I remember everything from before...


    Tretion¡¯s cold dead body, and the Dreadthing I sang to Reave our home apart.


    In a panic I desperately try to Reave a tear back to the void between Rifts. To my colorful ocean devoid of pain and memory. But¡­ I can¡¯t. It won''t work!


    When I try it¡¯s like attempting to open a door that was never there to begin with!!!


    By the end of my eleventh failed song I¡¯m weeping amidst the corpses of Reavers. A mass of over a dozen Naranggas writhing and curling and dancing in tune with my sobs. Caught in another Waking Nightmare that mixes all of my blighted memories together.


    Hunting Reavers, Fae mercies, betrayed eyes of gold. And¡­ a Bound Beloved I shattered and consumed. Her corpse still and horrid beneath what was supposed to be my final song.


    Then I feel them enter the manor through my extended soul pressure sense that comes with all these new Naranggas.


    Hearing the whisper of a bowstring, I almost giggle at the freedom it offers as I realize who has found me. Find myself waiting for Bulderii¡¯s shot to crush my head and free me from all this pain.


    Return me to the void or unmake me entire. I don¡¯t care which! Just so long as I am free of this wretched Dream!


    But a purring of¡­ Of something and¡­ And I hear her.


    My Dark Goddess.


    The woman who¡¯s oath can set me free!


    I feel her approach, soul still such a huge thing when compared to mine. Where my mass of tendrils are simply¡­ difficult to count now, her¡¯s is an eternal storm.


    A long pause, and I know she is waiting for me to speak. It¡­ it takes me a bit to form thoughts again.


    But¡­ Only one phrase seems to encompass what I want from her.


    ¡°Kill me.¡± I whisper.


    A pause, then a purring laugh is her reply.


    I look back over my shoulder, find her staring down at me. A grin of such hunger and delight on her face. I would have gotten lost in those twin gemstones of jade, and how much they remind me of the ocean I crave¡­ but¡­ That only makes the tears fall harder.


    I want her RAGE!!! A fury at oaths broken and Reaver souls stolen!!!


    ¡°Please,¡± I beg as I¡¯m vaguely aware of Bulderii turning to leave the manor before shutting the big doors behind her.


    But Thendra¡¯s joy is unrelenting, eyes glimmering as she takes in the dancing of my new Naranggas.


    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t even care about the song or the sex, just¡­ just¡­¡± My voice is shrill and cracking now as a terror begins to rise in my tummy.


    At¡­ at what she¡¯s not¨C


    Jade eyes dance, but she does not move.


    ¡°You swore you¡¯d kill me if I asked!!!¡± I shriek at her. Terror and fury take me as the threat of another nightmare begins to rise. ¡°You promised!¡±


    A pause, then¡­ She purrs so very softly.


    ¡°I lied.¡±


    That jolts me. Even studders the Waking Nightmare to a halt.


    B¨C but¡­


    Thendra doesn¡¯t¡­ She doesn¡¯t lie! She keeps her oaths!!!


    Then my desperate pain shifts into a bitter roiling rage as she just¡­ smiles down at my panic.


    ¡°I¡¯ll make you do it.¡± I hiss and turn to crouch. Talons and Naranggas twitching in such anger.


    Her smile widens. Black teeth and eyes glimmering in challenge. An unspoken taunt.


    Then do it!


    I¡¯m springing at her then. Digging claws into flesh and entangling our tendrils as my eyes come within inches of hers. But¡­ she barely even rolls back a step at my weight, doesn¡¯t flinch as I clinch to her chest. So I sink talons deeper and wrap sharpened tendrils tighter as my eyes bore into hers.


    Jellyfish growl and preen as I clutch all the ingredients to weave such a perfect feast for them.


    But¡­ she only slowly rises arms at her sides. Keeping those big hands as far away from my body as possible.


    A beat passes, and she only lets out another purring chuckle.


    ¡°Do it then, little Reaver.¡± She laughs.


    I growl my wordless warning. Keep. Your. PROMISE!


    She speaks a horrid command into the dream. ¡°Sing this curse onto me then.¡±


    I feel my eyes go wide as an old Fae''s words flash in my mind.


    ¡°Is there a lover you haven''t cursed?¡±


    And I¡¯m kicking off her, untangling Naranggas and flailing back to¡­ to get away!!!


    As far as possible! N¨C Not again! I can''t curse another person I love!


    When I hit the warm tiled floor the curse¡¯s bite that was nothing when I was slaughtering Reavers is suddenly unbearable. I¡¯m barely able to pin the wriggling angry talon to my chest as it savors the blood on its fingertips. Clamping teeth shut, both in seething pain and determination to not wail this lamentation.


    This goes on for a time, and I feel Thendra looming over me in¡­ something.


    Anger? Disappointment? Bitter annoyance at the failure I am? Maybe¡­ maybe she¡¯s getting ready to¡­ to keep her word and¨C


    Then I am submerged beneath a wave of intoxicating spice and warmth as she moves over me. Feel thrumming perfect flesh hovering just beyond my skin as her breath pulses at my ear.


    ¡°Sing. That. Curse.¡± She taunts with an almost playful tone.


    I shake my head and bury my face into the floor to avoid her gaze. Gurgle and hiss a warning through grinding teeth.


    She sighs, but¡­ not in annoyance. In satisfaction.


    ¡°Stop.¡±


    I wheeze and choke, slump down into a whimpering sobbing mess.


    She reaches down, takes my face in one hand, and pulls me up to meet her gaze. ¡°Why won¡¯t you curse me?¡±


    I blubber out some kind of nothing words. Lost to the muck and despair of a Waking Nightmare I can feel rising up¡­ A dreaded thing that¡­ that will make her see just how useless I¡¯ve become.


    Her jade eyes dance as she growls at me. It¡¯s soft but¡­ a warning.


    A demand to answer.


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ I¡­ I don¡¯t know.¡± I stammer as my mind fumbles and body trembles.


    ¡°Do you think I would submit to such a thing?¡±


    I shake my head.


    ¡°So then what would have happened?¡±


    I swallow a choking sob at the memories of my jellyfish devouring Fae and watcher souls.


    ¡°Y- you would have¡­" I swallow hard. Then whisper. "Died.¡±


    Tretion¡¯s cold lifeless form becomes the center of the nightmare as it takes my mind. A flood of pain and misery and images of my beloved dead and gone.


    ¡°And where would that have left you?¡± Her voice is such a¡­ a tormenting thing.


    My own fears and despair made real and spoken.


    ¡°Alone.¡± I whisper, and dissolve into a sobbing puddle at the horror of my answer.


    The Waking Nightmare uses it as kindling to ignite my mind with all consuming sadness.


    * * *


    A crack, a pop, and as my third finger snaps back I finally feel the connection!


    I weave a howl of such joy as the rift shimmers and wriggles into being. Revealing a damp cavern just beyond.


    Over a year of searching, of wading through the muck of that horrid watcher¡¯s records and piecing together whatever nonsense could be made of her plans. Getting distracted dozens of times to free slaves and topple their matrons.


    Barely¡­ barely avoiding the ire of their city''s rulers and¡­ and even a few gods.


    But so long as the blighted things never learn the name of the Fae running about I¡¯ll be fine!


    I shake out my hand, whistle a song of Fae shaping to return it to perfection, and take what¡¯ll be the final steps to finally see Lyra again.


    The outer chamber is dark, but¡­ illuminated by a flickering rune on the far wall.


    ¡°Okay friend.¡± I hum into a tune. ¡°This is the last step. Final hurdle. If¡­ If you won¡¯t let me in or even pass a message I¡¯m going to be reeeeally upset.¡±


    But as I step forward, I almost trip. The room is¡­ stilted?


    Leaning to one side?


    None of the journal entries I scavenged mentioned that was¡­ like¡­ a thing.


    There is no¡­ like¡­ up or down where this thing floats.


    The magic that makes people fall down is tied directly to the manor''s will.


    The rune flickers again.


    All my fears dredge up at that. And I dart forward to lay both hands on the sigil. Hum a plea of friendship and peace. Weave my love for Lyra and desire fo¨C


    I nearly fall forward as the wall just¡­ dissipates, and am immediately hit with the stench of rot and¨C


    A furious tune of protection and sealing is already on my lips. My strongest symphony of life and home and love and hope and dream settling to ward the wall of blight and rot. Fingers are already a bit black on the tips, so I weave healing and expunging in too. Quickly huff the tune as my fingers return to normal. And look up.


    A simple well made manor, with walls and carpets that would be fancy if not for the blackening foulness that seems to bleed from a huge crack in the wall. No light sources, but the room is well lit regardless.


    And through it all the manor groans in such pain and anguish.


    The sound of a leviathan of the deep whimpering and sobbing. And In that noise I can feel its plea.


    Help.


    So¡­ first things first. I ignore my screaming heart and approach the crack, and spend the next hour coaxing the edges to reform and heal.


    I honestly don¡¯t know what I¡¯m doing. I¡¯ve healed small cracks in rifts, and driven away blight from living things. But¡­ this?


    Ugh I just sort of mangle the two techniques into my warding symphony and let the ambient melodies show me the way to heal this poor big friend.


    Eventually I feel the groans calm, and the house sort of¡­ murmurs in relief. And once the last edges of the crack are sealed, I focus on whittling away at the rot and ruin.


    By the time the house is settled I am so tired, but¡­ The smell of the blight is nearly gone, and I decide to start my search.


    As I calm my symphony to a hum, I ask the manor to lead me to those that dwell here. The little tittering of groans sounds like a yes, but¡­ I draw my blade and proceed cautiously.


    But to my surprise a door just opens just down the hallway and a short, fairly thin and spindly woman stumbles out. Hooved feet clip-clop and big floopy ears bob about as she nearly falls to the floor.


    I settle my song.


    ¡°Wh¨C But¡­¡± Then her eyes snag on me and she¡¯s yelping in fear. Gaze locking on my half-raised blade.


    ¡°Woah woah!¡± I lower my dagger, ¡°Sorry to startle!¡±


    ¡°Wh.. who are you? How did you get inside?¡±


    I point backwards. ¡°Front door, knocked and asked nicely.¡±


    Her brow furrows, a look between disbelief and worry.


    ¡°So¡­ My name''s Awnya. I¡¯m a friend of Lyra¡¯s.¡± I slowly flip my blade around and stow it. Quickly sensing this little cutie has nothing but good songs flowing through her. ¡°Is she around?¡±


    Her eyes go wide. ¡°L¨C Lyra? A¡­ A friend? But¡­ she¡¯s¡­¡±


    ¡°Or Tretion, honestly.¡± I offer. ¡°We met a year back in the Twilight Court. Wanted to just¡­ check in and make sure they were¨C¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re Fae!?!¡± She yelps.


    ¡°Oh, uh, yeah.¡± I nod, still trying to read if that will be a good or bad¨C


    ¡°Please! Please Please you must help Lady Tretion!¡± She stumbles toward me then, grasping my arms and leading me toward the room she tumbled from.


    I let her, and only really hesitate when I see the contents of the place. A room of weird slime balls of half visible eck. And a MUCH more visible splat of¡­ something on the far wall with about two dozen eyes. Half locking on me as I appear in the doorway while the other half fixes itself on a form slumped against a wall.


    Tretion.


    I rush past this little woman to kneel in front of the watcher and focus my every sense on her.


    Her eyes are warbling about, unfocused but¡­


    She¡¯s alive at least.


    Muscle twitches and spasms, head tendrils are limp and a little stiff but¡­ otherwise seem okay. No rot I can see but¡­ this weird slime guck all around the room seems to gather the closest around her. So next up is my Amwella sight.


    Her soul is¡­ interesting. A weird little ball of fuzziness. And¡­ huh.


    Was it always like this?


    ¡°Okay her soul seems settled and whole.¡± I murmur as I wind up a song of mind healing. ¡°Can you just¡­ give me the short story of what happened? And let me know where Lyra skipped off to?¡±


    The woman is crying as my song starts up. Can barely get the words out to explain how Lyra and Tretion returned from a trip to the Fae wood to help someone, then came back hurt. Tretion wasn¡¯t moving, and Lenelope (she studders out an apology and introduction through her tears) thought she was dead.


    I want to press her on details but¡­ need to focus on my song. I¡¯ll¡­ I can get specifics once Tretion is awake and settled.


    Then Lyra woke up, and sang a song. A wailing thing of nightmares that tore the manor open.


    ¡°And¡­ and the manor tilted. Like¡­ like something hit us.¡± She sniffles. ¡°And Lyra fell through the crack.¡±


    I nearly lose the song at that. At¡­ at¡­


    ¡°The manor drug us both back here. Then sealed us in with the heart and kept us safe.¡± She sighs. ¡°The manor¡¯s Soulwaste started gathering around her the moment I brought her in. Did something to her, then she woke up a bit.¡±


    I¡¯m too late!?!


    I¡¯m barely listening then, only just able to keep the song working to try and heal Tretion¡¯s mind of any damage. Make sure to¡­ to add in some soul healing just¡­ just in case.


    But¡­ Lyra¡¯s dead or¡­ or the next closest thing.


    Yuna¡¯s story haunts my mind then.


    Of¡­ of what she saw that first day when she found Lyra. Of the things she¡¯s made me promise to never speak to another soul.


    Tretion coughs as her eyes begin to focus, casting about as if suddenly searching. Slowly¡­ slowly her gaze falls on me. Head tendrils twitch, but do not move otherwise.


    ¡°A¨C Awnya?¡±


    ¡°You recognize me!¡± I try to give her a confident smile, despite my own breaking heart. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits, that''s a good sign. Now, the next course. Do you remember your own name?¡±


    ¡°Tretion, granddaughter to the late matron Detlina.¡± She nods carefully. Sudden worry crossing her face. Her gaze shifts over the splat thing on the wall. ¡°How¡­ How did you get into my manor? Did Lyra let you in?¡±


    I grimace. ¡°Eh¡­ No. I sang to your home that I was a friend here to help and it let me in. Healed the crack in the entryway before coming back here.¡±


    ¡°C¨C Crack!?!¡± She looks about then, brow furrowing deeper and deeper as she takes in the room. ¡°Then¡­ Where is Lyra?¡±


    She smacks her dry mouth a few times, head tendrils twitch but¡­ still don¡¯t move. Which worries me.


    They were so wiggly and expressive when I met her last. I have no idea how a watcher¡¯s mind works, and can only hope that her connection to them recovers.


    Her gaze drifts to Lenelope, a hand raises up and reaches out. The little cute lady scoots forward and takes it without hesitation.


    I take a deep breath, and prepare my soul as best I can for the agony that will follow my next words.

 Chapter 65: The Blighted Second Sunrise

    <u>CW:</u>


    Violent sex. self-harm via sex. soul stabbing. Suicide requests.


    The spiced warmth eventually helps to drag me back into a sort of awareness. Large arms wrap around me like a vice to hold my mind and soul steady. An eternity of Naranggas curl and weave around mine, act as pillars of solid soul mass when they twitch and writhe in tune to my shattering.


    Teeth graze and tease at the back of my neck.


    I lean back into them, memories of her first feeding amidst cold waters bubbling through me as I gaze out into our room. Desire flaring for the¡­ the pain and fury of her workings.


    ¡°Please.¡± Is all I can whisper as my hands struggle to get free. To... to touch and entice and beg for her to just¡­ fuck this agony away. Bury me in furious and painful sex.


    A low rumble of mirth, and then she moves. While one arm pins me to her chest, the other wanders down between my legs. Begins a soft teasing that does not befit my dark goddess.


    ¡°Th¨C Thendra!¡± I hiss. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits! N¨C not like¡­¡± I wriggle and squirm. ¡°Harder!¡±


    A growl, a warning, and her teeth clamp down on my neck. A clear statement from a predator to her prize. I¡¯ll have you in whatever way I please, or not at all.


    I whimper, and can¡¯t help but buck my hips into her hand. I was hoping for¡­ for her to scratch or squeeze or¡­ or hurt me to make me submit!


    But she doesn¡¯t! She just¡­ draws fingers down my thigh and waits!!! Even my Naranggas are pinned! Only her grip on my neck and chest seem to remain steadfast. And the pleasure they bring is nothing! A gentle hinting at the real fucking she could give me!


    So all I can do is go still and huff my submission.


    After a few tortuous heartbeats, she¡¯s continuing her work. Purring softly into my neck as teeth sort of¡­ gently chew and knead at the taut flesh there. Slowly¡­ oh so slowly¡­ With her fingers barely even touching my clit and second lips, I am granted my first little climax.


    I hate it. It¡¯s¡­ it barely even a flutter of pleasure!


    I hiss and squirm again, bucking my hips and I realize in horror that she¡¯s made no move to feed on my soul. ¡°T¨C Take your bite! Thendra¡­ Please. Just¡­ just¡­¡±


    But she doesn¡¯t, only¡­ only waits for me to still before moving her hand back to continue a slow dance across my flesh. My body burns hotter for release this time, But¡­ it needs more! Needs my dark goddess to take her Dreamer Blighted Bite of my soul!!!


    ¡°Please¡­¡± I whimper and sob, leaning back into her as hard as I can. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t want this!¡±


    She stops. Fingers drift up to my belly. A rumble of humor through the teeth at my neck as she loosens her grip on me.


    An offer for me to pull away and leave.


    ¡°NO! D¨C Don¡¯t stop!!! Just¡­¡± I beg, pulling her hand close again and leaning back into her as hard as I can. ¡°Feed on me. Please! Don¡¯t be gentle. Rip and tear and bite and¡­ and¡­¡±


    Big hands obey and tighten once more as she purrs. ¡°Did you not enjoy rutting with your Watcher?¡±


    I go very still. Then turn to try and glare as a furious growl rolls through me, but¡­ she¡¯s pinned me again and can¡¯t even catch a glimpse of her Jade eyes.


    She chuckles so darkly. ¡°Did her embrace ever still your tormented mind and soul?¡±


    I jerk to stop. Her words just¡­ They¡­ they don¡¯t make sense!


    ¡°Wh¨C What?¡±


    She squeezes me tighter, nibbles harder. I feel a trickle of warm blood drip down my back.


    Cold ice jolts down my spine as I consider her words over her touches. ¡°Y¨C You knew? About the¡­ the Waking Nightmares?¡±


    Her only reply is a rumble of amusement. A simple answer¡­ Of course.


    ¡°Then why didn¡¯t you tell me!?!¡± I whimper. ¡°If¡­ If I¡¯d know then I would have come back! And Tretion she¡­ she¡¯d be¡­ I wouldn¡¯t have¡­ I¡­¡±


    But¡­ she did warn me. Didn¡¯t she? When I spoke of wanting to run away with Awnya¡­


    ¡°And consider, Reaver.¡± She purred, ¡°Those wounds you left upon her the last time you chose to get too close.¡±


    I¡¯m sobbing then, and it so easily twists and turns into another Waking Nightmare. One that drowns in just¡­ just the sight of my beloved.


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    Dead and cold and¡­ and how it''s all my fault. How I could have been more careful or¡­ or just come back and¡­


    Thendra holds me through it, purring and clamping my Amwella betwixt curling tendrils and body to her chest while the horrid blight ravages my mind and soul. By the time I pull myself up from the muck of the horrid memories I can only sag against her. Helpless and¡­ and¡­ already beginning to feel my mind slipping into a second one.


    ¡°Please. Just kill me...¡± I whimper through exhausted sorrows. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry I didn¡¯t come back! That¡­ that I¡­¡±


    Thendra rumbles the softest sound I¡¯ve ever heard from her. Then simply asks. ¡°Is this the sunrise?¡±


    I just¡­ stare ahead. Confused. ¡°What?¡±


    She releases my neck to purr into my ear. ¡°We never agreed to which sunrise you would return to me.¡±


    My heart flutters and sings at that, a sudden balm of hope amidst my torments. ¡°You¡­ You gave me as long as I wanted!?!¡±


    In reply, Thendra takes my ear into her mouth, bites, licks at the blood with her huge warm tongue. I can only tremble at her answer. I¡¯m dissolving into such tears and sobs then as she whispers into my dribbling ear.


    ¡°So then, my Lyra, is this our second sunrise?¡±


    And my dying heart thunders in¡­ in something. At¡­ have the possibility of at least one person in this dream still willing to take me back and never let me go. Who can endure my horrid nature and blighted soul without fear of it harming or consuming them. Who could so easily end my life if I even tried to curse her with my blights.


    ¡°YES!¡± I shout, ¡°Please YES. Take me back. I¡¯m yours. Always and Forever. I¡¯ll never leave you again!¡±


    She growls, and it¡¯s like a great tree finally giving way beneath a long gathered weight of destruction. Teeth at the back of my neck again, one arm still clamping me to her while the other hand curls into a clawed angry thing between my legs.


    And then she¡¯s fucking me.


    Really REALLY fucking me.


    I can only melt against her fury, already moaning and squirming in delight and terror and such anticipation. Fingers a maelstrom of fury between my legs as my talons bite into her arm, clawing and swirling and weaving my flesh into nothing but a thing to be toyed with. Teeth bite harder, and I feel her digging nails into a breast.


    As the first climax hits, she simply has her own Naranggas erupt with tooth and claw as they curl about my own squirming tendrils. A flash of such wonderful pain and pleasure drown me as Thendra drinks in my weeping soulfire.


    Afterwards I¡¯m just a sagging, panting mess for a time. Filled with a euphoria I didn¡¯t realize I¡¯d been craving. It¡¯s like¡­ like I¡¯d slowly been brought close to death in freezing winds, and only now found a flame to melt away the gathered frost.


    She loosens her grip, just a fraction, just¡­ just enough for me to¡­


    I¡¯m twisting around then, quick and deft with all the grace of a jungle panther. Uncaring of the little gashes and tearing of my flesh such sudden motions will bring. And I¡¯m crushing my lips to hers while my legs straddle her.


    She purrs a laugh and wraps arms around my hips. I taste rank flesh and blood on her tongue alongside her normally spiced scent as she shoves it past my lips and into my mouth, but¡­ It doesn¡¯t bother me.


    And soon all I can think about is how wonderfully our mouths dance.


    But¡­ then she¡¯s reaching down. And I expect to her start fucking me with those giant fingers again, but¡­ she¡¯s only tearing at her own tunic. Pulling it away and leaving behind only her naked legs and waist.


    I can¡¯t look down. But I¡¯ve seen her naked plenty of times. She has a dark mound of flesh like mine, no hair or anything. Just a normal cunt she never lets me touch and¡­


    And¡­


    What are those?


    Odd warm things curl up and around my legs. Some smooth, some rough, of a few different sizes.


    I slow our kiss, and try to pull away to look down. She lets me, and I just¡­ stare in confusion and awe at the strange mass of black tendrils that seem to curl out from her thighs and the space between her legs. She still has the cunt I remember but¡­ but these new things seem to just¡­ swirl out from all around it!


    ¡°What are¨C¡±


    But the words are lost when a few wrap about my hips, pull me close, and let the others dance into me. I shudder and moan, and Thendra is content to just¡­ watch me sag and grind myself deeper into her¡­ whatever these are. It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s like if she has half a dozen tongues to fuck me with.


    While their gentleness is¡­ annoying. I do orgasm once from their playful teasings, and as the trembling pleasure of it ripples, her Naranggas slice a bit more Amwella from my core.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits! Wh¨C What are these?¡± I blubber. ¡°I¡­ I really L¨Clike thiiiis¡­¡±


    She purrs, drags a hand up from my belly to chin, tilts me up to meet her jade eyes.


    ¡°The Fae are not the only ones to master the art of flesh changing.¡±


    ¡°Muh?¡± Is all I can reply with as warmth rolls down my spine and my body roils for¡­ for more of this. More of her!


    But then she is¡­ suddenly very serious. Her lower tendrils slow their workings, and her Naranggas still their little dance. There is something in her eyes, and behind them I¡­ I see that so much of her plans and words and everything has been to lead me to this moment.


    To this question.


    She purrs, and begins to open her mouth to speak.


    ¡°Yes.¡± I growl. ¡°Wh¡­ Whatever it is. Yes. I¡¯m yours.¡±


    No smile. No nod just¡­ A hand at my lower back, pulling me closer. The other on the back of my neck, drawing me into a long and slow kiss. A thing unlike any other. No fury, no¡­ no hunger. Just¡­ control and an odd passion I don¡¯t understand¡­


    The lower tendrils begin anew. Focused and whirling. Pressing into me, hard. And then they''re inside me. Deep and thrusting. Wonderful and filling and¡­


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits! Her tongue fucking was always perfect, but this¡­ this is like¡­ like¡­


    And then something else moves up through the mixture of maddening wonderful tendrils. Seems to reach up through me¡­ somehow¡­ even¡­ feel it nudge the side of my Amwella.


    But¡­ but how is it able to¡­?


    I lose the thought as she just keeps fucking me harder than she¡¯s ever done with these dozen big wonderful tongues! Eventually I¡­ I just kinda go limp against her, can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t even focus enough to kiss. Eyes open but not really aware of anything. She lets me droop to the side and latch teeth onto her collarbone for support while a big hand moves up into my hair.


    Grabs a fistful as she purrs a¡­ a¡­ growl of some kind?


    Not angry. Not¡­ not playful. What is that?


    I¡¯ve never heard her growl like this?


    Then, just as I feel the tide of oncoming pleasure and pain rise up to drown me, that big weird Amwella touching thing reaches up and latches on to my soul while the smaller ones go wild. Her careful aggressive precision lost to a madness I¡¯ve never seen in her.


    But¡­ Dreamers Tit¡¯s it doesn¡¯t matter! If anything it makes me moan and whimper harder, use whatever strength I can to¡­ to pull closer.


    Need to¡­ need more of her inside me.


    Her growl is louder now, a thing of¡­ What is that!?!


    That thrumming becomes the heart of my world as the pleasure slams into me, a climax too much to bear. A snarl from her, teeth bite down into my shoulder hard enough to break skin and crack a bone. Then her hips buck, and there is a pulse through her Amwella before¨C


    With my eyes squeezing shut, I¡¯m able to watch without distraction as¡­ something. A tooth or claw or worse, erupts from the tendril latched onto my Amwella and bores into my soul.


    PAIN.


    Raw and horrid and¡­ and¡­ I love it.


    Somehow I pull her closer, press myself deeper down onto the cruel thing that she¡¯s impaled my soul with. Riding this perfect wave of pleasure and pain atop it.


    That gets another one of those growls as she crushes me into her.


    And then she¡¯s¡­ oh¡­ OH!


    She¡¯s shaking¡­ just a little. And I begin to understand what the growl was as she drinks such a large amount from my soulflame from that weird tendril. But then I find all my energy slipping away, darkness gathers at the edge of my vision, and¡­ and I think I¡¯m¡­ ugh¡­ What¡¯s happening?


    ¡°Sing to remain awake.¡± She demands with a strained growl.


    Of course I still obey immediately.


    It¡¯s still a reflex, and as my brain is trying to understand the words my lips and soul drag the song from me. A war between wanting to just¡­ fall into the void that drains my soul and avoid letting my curse ruin this perfect sex. But then, at the very end, I feel something deep inside my Amwella warm as she jerks free.


    A little part of my Dark Goddess left behind within the depths of my soul.


    Then we¡¯re both just¡­ slumped and panting.


    Drenched in sweat and consumed by the afterglow of whatever Dreamer Fucked Nonsense that was!


    But I¡¯m too just¡­ overwhelmed to ask or care.


    Because more than this amazing afterglow¡­ I¡­ I think that I just got to feel Thendra experience pleasure during this sex! Not feeding euphoria, not just¡­ amusement, but real pleasure!!!


    Maybe something like what she gives me? The thought brings tears to my eyes. Would probably drop me into a pit of sobbing¡­ but¡­ I¡¯m just too tired for that.


    So we both just slump into oblivion together. And no Waking Nightmares devour my mind this night.


    Due to this chappy being.... rough and all adult content. We''ve followed our old policy of uploading a second chappy! Should be up VERY soon if not already!!!

 Chapter 66: Love, and Her Endless Agonies

    <u>CW:</u>


    Awnya POVs, gaslighting, BEG Gucking upload. snuggles. crying. calling people cunts. new friends from books.


    Tretion just¡­ stares down at her own soul, eyes wide with such a deep sadness that is only matched by the harmony in my own.


    ¡°It¡¯s gone.¡± She whispers. ¡°Our binding.¡±


    This was what proved it all. Lyra had accidently consumed her beloved¡¯s soul during one of these¡­ Well, Tretion called them trauma induced panic responses, but I can¡¯t get Lyra¡¯s name for it out of my mind.


    Waking Nightmares.


    All¡­ all this time. For an entire year, at least! She¡¯d just¡­ been plagued and inflicted with them. One of my people, one of the Fae, and a lover no less! Wrapped and blighted by the pains of the life that just keeps hurting her. How she¡¯d screamed and wailed and¡­ and even her Fae shaping song didn¡¯t help to lessen their agony. How this dream wasn¡¯t just content to wound her, but branded those traumas upon her mind to be relived over and over and¨C


    I¡¯d¡­ I had to stop Tretion while whistling a tune of calming for myself at hearing the whole of it.


    And... and it was during one of these that the dream had robbed her of the woman she loved, and she¡¯d wailed a horrid Dreadsong of Reaving to lash back. Cracked the manor, and ended up falling through the breach into the endless ocean of Blight.


    In doing so she¡¯d not remained alive long enough to witness the miracle of Tretion¡¯s manor.


    How this wonderful home was somehow able to rebuild a soul for its beloved keeper and caretaker.


    But she couldn¡¯t have known it was possible!


    Apparently Tretion developed the technique for her little cute friend and used the manor in a similar way we Fae use songs. Just¡­ the manor as her sleepy tool, unable to do this without her guiding hand and will. And on top of that it was only my fast arrival and melodies that kept her mind and memories from being lost. Otherwise she would have eventually awoken a blank husk with no way to recover the past love she¡¯d shared with Lyra.


    We¡¯re sitting in Tretion¡¯s chambers now, her on the edge of the bed and me on the floor in front of her desk.


    I stare at her Amwella as well. Still small and soft with fuzzy hairy bits. ¡°Binding?¡±


    She smiles so sadly, but doesn¡¯t look up. ¡°She cursed me when we first met, and¡­ and after I understood my beloved better I¡­ I so quickly came to adore it. The scar she¡¯d left. The mark of a young woman just¡­ trying to survive.¡± She reaches up then, touches a faded mark on her neck. ¡°At¡­ at least this is still...¡±


    Then tears are bubbling up again, in both our eyes.


    ¡°She¡­ um¡­ Most people aren¡¯t fond of her curses.¡± I murmur.


    She laughs through a sob. ¡°She freed me of all of it that I wished to ignore. Let me¡­ let me keep the¡­¡±


    Then her head in her hands, tendrils just¡­ sagging. A fleshy pile of twitching limbs.


    I assume now that¡­ that a watcher¡¯s soul plays a big role in their tendril''s control. And this new one just¡­ doesn¡¯t have the right parts.


    ¡°We were supposed to be always and forever!¡± She stammers, ¡°Or¡­ or at least until this wretched dream ends! B¡ª But She¡¯s gone and I¡¯m still here and¨C and¡­¡±


    I rise from my spot on the floor and move to hold her then, pull this watcher into my arms and lean my head down into her bundle of cold limp tendrils. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Tretion.¡±


    ¡°Why!?! Why didn¡¯t the Fae let us go?¡± She growls. ¡°Why not just¡­ let her find happiness!?!¡±


    I freeze, ¡°Wh¨C What?¡±


    She turns up to face me, eyes suddenly wide. ¡°You¡­ Oh Dreadweave¡¯s Bane you¡­ he was¡­ You don¡¯t know? I thought you came here from the Fae Wood!¡±


    I feel my brow furrow. A cold trickle down my spine as I shake my head. "No I... I''ve not been back there in a while..."


    He? Did¡­ was my dad responsible for¡­ for hurting Lyra and causing her to¨C


    She¡¯s breaking into sobs again, but forces out the words. ¡°Awnya, I¡­ I¡¯m so sorry. But¡­ your father is dead.¡±


    The words just¡­ don¡¯t make sense.


    My dad... Dead?


    ¡°What? Naw¡­ the old goat is just stubborn.¡±


    No, that¡¯s¡­ I mean the curse was getting really bad last I saw him six months back or so. But from our spitfire of an argument I could tell he¡¯d shrug it off eventually!


    But I feel it then, the¡­ the truth that my mind just cannot accept.


    Her hands move to take one of mine. ¡°I¡¯m so so sorry, Awnya. Lyra she¡­ We went to help. But the Fae they¡­ they did something to make me sleep and took Lyra to some far off rift. But¡­ we found him, before we left. He¡­ his soul was so small and¡­ and he begged Lyra for an unweaving.¡±


    I jerk at that, as if slapped. ¡°But¡­ He hates Lyra. He¡¯d never¨C¡±


    She¡¯s shaking her head furiously now, tendrils flopping about. ¡°No! Awnya. Please. The curse¡­ It pushed him to do more than just follow commands.¡±


    By the time she¡¯s finished telling me more horrid truths I am standing and¡­ and shaking. I hold up a hand to stop her while I whistle a tune of Fae shaping to help calm my mind¡­


    But it only barely helps! Doesn¡¯t¡­ doesn¡¯t seem too¡­


    ¡°I¡­ I need to go back. Need to tell them that she¡¯s¡­ that Lyra¡¯s gone and¡­¡± I¡¯m stammering. Fingers gripping my blade¡¯s hilt so tight It hurts. ¡°You¡­ I don¡¯t want to leave you alone here. I¡­ I know a better place for you and Lenelope to heal and rest up. Have some friends who... who might be able to... like help your soul or... something.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± She bites her lip. ¡°That¡¯s kind but¡­ We can¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°I get that.¡± I growl, but not at her. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t trust any Fae after¡­ not after they¨C¡±


    ¡°N¨C No I¡­ I would love to go with you. Honestly. But¡­¡± She looks down to her soul. ¡°We¡¯re stuck here. If we try to leave we¡¯ll die.¡±


    That jerks me from my spiral. ¡°Why?¡±


    She smiles so sadly. ¡°Our Amwella is built from the Soulwaste the manor has collected. If we leave it will fade just as any other dead thing¡¯s soul would.¡±


    * * *


    I¡¯ve wanted to ask her this for so long, but¡­ just as the courage arrives It sputters as I spot this new thing in her soul.


    A little glimmer of radiance within her mass of Naranggas. Shimmering violet tendril dancing among the grove of waving limbs that spread from her soul. I reach for it, touch it with just the tip of a single one of my own soul tails.


    A flash, a¡­ a wash of strange echoes and¡­ and reverberations?


    Curiosity surrounded by a muck of pain and empty sorrows and the fading afterglow of body breaking mind numbing sex and¨C


    I jerk back, push off her chest to fix my gaze to hers.


    ¡°Wh¡­ What is that?¡± I whisper as her eyelids open lazily.


    She smiles, such a cruel and wonderful thing. And¡­ and all the answers I¡¯ll get for now.


    I huff, the wince as I look over to see that yes¡­ she did in fact bite my shoulder so hard to tear flesh and crack a bone.


    ¡°May I sing?¡±


    She purrs a command, then lets me take a few moments to aid my shoulders workings. I¡­ I don¡¯t know why it didn¡¯t heal like my wounds from before. And like¡­ My talons are nearly perfect again. Left is devoid of all but fingertips of black rot, while the others are kept to just the three digits and palm. But¡­ I think it might have to do with a lot of things that Thendra will need to teach me about being a soul-drinking Reaver?


    My song fades at her word, and we¡¯re left in a raw silence.


    I turn, look back to meet her gaze, and shove a single tendril toward the core of her soul. Committed to getting my answer.


    She catches it easily, and we just¡­ stare at each other for a long moment before she purrs out a simple. ¡°Ask.¡±


    I take a deep breath, and call such pain and terror into the air between us. ¡°Do you love me?¡±


    A rumble of¡­ somethings. Thoughtfulness?


    ¡°Like the humans did?¡±


    I jerk, nearly pull away from her. ¡°Wh¨Cwhat?¡±


    ¡°The ones who abandoned you?¡± She purrs, but not¡­ not with anything but curious regard.


    ¡°They did once. B¨C But I never told you about them. How do you¡ª¡°


    She hums, nods, ¡°What of your mother then? The Fae who gave you your songs, only to abandon you to rot in those cursed woods? Does she love you?¡±


    I do try to pull away then, but with a firm grip of flesh and tendril she keeps me straddling her legs. So I can only glare down and away.


    Thendra growls. A demand to answer.


    ¡°I¡­ I think so. She¡­ she shouldn¡¯t though. Not after what I did to Usete and¡­ and how I¨C¡±


    A single finger to my chin, a lure to draw me back up to become ensnared by her angry Jade eyes. ¡°And your lovers? Where are they now?¡±


    A flash of¡­ of guilt and pain and horrid memories paralyzes me.


    ¡°I¡­ It doesn¡¯t matter. Just¡­ forget I even asked.¡± I force out so quietly it¡¯s barely a whisper.


    Another soft demanding growl, more angry this time.


    Answer me.


    ¡°Awnya is going to hate me and Tretion is¡­ is¡­¡± I hiss back, tears starting to form. ¡°Dead.¡±


    Jade eyes flare with such anger. ¡°Those humans loved you, your adopted mother loves you, even your Fae and watcher mates loved you. But look how that love hurts you. For cruelty and spite and even by careless regard they have broken you time and time again.¡±


    ¡°So have you!¡± I spit, ¡°That¡­ isn¡¯t that just¡­ a part of it? A part of love?¡±


    She¡¯s nearly shaking with rage then. Eyes alight with a fury that I can feel roll over me. ¡°I do nothing by mistake. Every torment I leverage shapes you into a thing of my design. I will never inflict something as careless as love upon you, my Lyra.¡±


    A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    I flinch back, rocked and quivering in sudden agony at her words. At¡­ how they echo my own thoughts from so long ago. Old discovers as I glared at the family who would steal my songs and form.


    In a flash I fear a Waking Nightmare will strike, but¡­ it doesn¡¯t. No shadow rises. These are just¡­ normal horrible agonies.


    ¡°So... tell me. Which do you prefer?¡± She releases my chin, and then my Naranggas. Spreads her arms.


    An offer.


    I just¡­ stare down at the wretched talons for a while. Shaking and crying furious tears at the truth my dark goddess has blighted me with. But¡­ I¡¯d take her torments and the shape they mold me into over the broken forms the rest of the dream would inflict upon me.


    So I lean forward, wrap as many of my Naranggas around her core as I can, and bask in the raw emotions of Thendra. At first nothing happens¡­ not¡­. Not like silence but¡­ a wash of emotions and nonsense I can¡¯t understand. But then the little thing my dark goddess left within my soul wriggles and pulses. And suddenly her musings snap into focus!


    A storm. Vast and furious and pitiless, and beneath it are no allies or family or lovers.


    Only tools.


    Things to be used and nothing more. There is no love for the tool the storm holds as its face is shoved into the grindstone.


    Flesh and soul and will be ground down and sharpened into the perfect edge to cleave and rip and serve.


    I know I¡¯m sobbing, and part of me wants to pull away. To run. To escape this storm that means to twist me into horrid shapes. That cares nothing for love and happiness or this little Fae¡¯s desires.


    But¡­ But the tool is not abandoned if it is good?


    So long as the purpose for which the storm lifts it is done, she will be properly kept. As safe as the razer in a panther¡¯s claw.


    And my dark goddess knows well of this little tool¡¯s worth and potential.


    My soul sings at that. Flutters in¡­ in such cooing joy as my mind balks in horror at the scene Thendra¡¯s soul shows me.


    ¡°Pleasure and Purpose.¡± I whisper, almost¡­ almost feeling that old curse¡¯s sting at my words.


    ¡°Or love, and all the aimless agonies it brings.¡± She purrs, a hand moving to carefully dance over the curse at my flank. ¡°You cannot have both. This is why you are plagued with Waking Nightmares, my Lyra.¡±


    I shudder. Examine the memories of¡­ of all those who have loved me. Weigh the pain and misery of my time with them against the future she offers.


    And one at a time¡­ I¡¯m tossing them aside. The humans are the easiest. My Fae mother though¡­ well¡­ She probably hates me now anyway. So¡­ I cast aside my love for her.


    My golden eyed Fae is¡­ so much worse. I weep and clutch at my memories of her. Almost¡­ almost try to hide her away from this raging storm. But¡­ Thendra¡¯s core lays a truth plain.


    Such a thing is a weakness. An infection that will tear at the soul and mind the more I cling to it. So I let her go too.


    The last¡­ should be the easiest of the group. She¡¯s dead. I already killed her.


    My Tretion, my watcher! My¡­ my bound beloved.


    I dwell for a long time over the year we spent together. Over the¡­ the cold soul that clung so tightly to mine. Filled me with such clear truths.


    She loved me. And she didn¡¯t hurt me. I¡­ I¡¯m the one who ruined that.


    Who killed her.


    I¡­ I just¡­ I can¡¯t love anyone ever again!!! Else I¡¯ll inflict the same careless agonies on them.


    Better to be a tool of this storm!


    I gaze back up into my dark goddesses eyes, but she only waits with a hungry victorious smile. Knowing my answer before I¡¯d even moved, the little piece of my soul she¡¯s taken sings a perfect resonance to my own emotions.


    ¡°Pleasure and Purpose.¡± I demand.


    And her smile thrums with the promises she intends to keep.


    * * *


    I can¡¯t keep the glare off my face as I step into the chamber. A decently sized home with a slightly bowled central area so that anyone sitting in the back can see the discussions happening in the middle. It also bears a plethora of colors amidst the wildly cultivated flowers and fruits freely growing in the room.


    Fourteen Fae sit in a loose circle on the floor. Idle chatter and song weaving comes to a halt as I enter. Various looks of surprise, some of annoyance, others of worry or curiosity.


    ¡°Awnya!¡± calls an older woman from the back. ¡°It¡¯s good to see you finally answer our calling after so many weeks.¡±


    ¡°Opherity.¡± I reply flatly.


    A form of black feathers and owlish eyes rises, taking a step toward me. Melivias, my old mentor. ¡°It¡¯s good you¡¯ve come. We still have so many more questions and would love to¨C¡±


    I hold up a hand, the most polite way I can interrupt her. She respects it, but I can see her eyes narrow in worry and frustration. Already reading my anger.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t come here to answer or aid. Not anymore.¡± I drop my arm and let my fingers play at the hilt of my blade, and a little trio of stone scales that now hang on a little string from it. ¡°I came here to say my final peace before leaving the Fae Wood. I don¡¯t expect to return for¡­ well as long as there are rifts that could use my help I mean to stay away.¡±


    That gets such a humming and grumbling of responses. Melivias¡¯s face twists between pain and regret¡­ but her annoyance is still there.


    ¡°Awnya,¡± Murmurs a Fae layered in white fur and big blueish cat ears, Yelkan. ¡°You can¡¯t just¡­ walk out on this. Not after your father¡¯s sacrifice and¨C¡±


    A hard glare from me makes the Yelkan flinch and jerk back, and the room goes quiet in surprise.


    ¡°My father, from all accountings, admitted his mistakes at the end.¡± I turn my gaze to Uldra, the Tiller.


    She huffs, looks away without answering.


    Many songs sung, so many stories shared and confirmed by the truth of the tunes.


    Weeks passed explaining over and over that¡­ yes.


    Lyra is dead and gone from the dream.


    Yet¡­ This gathering still refuses to believe what was laid before them!!! Would rather shape something wrong and horrible than¡­ then just¡­ embrace what could have been and remember her well!


    ¡°Many here never thought she was inherently spiteful, simply... dangerous.¡± Melivias tries to placate the brewing thing that boils between us. ¡°Needing to be contained, else she blight the dream.¡±


    I snort. ¡°What¡¯s that old story about a dumb goose nibbling at a bear''s butt? How does that end for the bird again?¡±


    The room murmurs, there is at least one chuckle. Opherity rolls her eyes and speaks up. ¡°Please take this seriously Little Sp¨C¡±


    ¡°I am.¡± I cut her off and just¡­ let my anger and pain and Dreamer Blighted disappointment rise up. ¡°And it¡¯s honestly so infuriating that I¡¯m the only Spark Gifted Fae to see that. That here I am, in a room of some of the supposed wisest and oldest of our kind, and yet¡­ none of you spoke up for her. None of you even considered that maybe, just maybe, this young amazing Fae girl could teach you something new about the Dream.¡±


    A long pause, uncomfortable and startled and probably filled with ruffled feathers.


    ¡°The Blight Weaver? What could she possibly teach any of¨C¡± Yelkan scoffs.


    ¡°Her name is Lyra, you Dreamer Blighted Cunt.¡± I hiss, and the room goes very very quiet. ¡°And she knew more about the rot than even Uldra or my father. If she was only given the chance to explore her affinity for it. She could have brought us into a new century of creation and purifying of the Rifts.¡±


    Uldra shifts uncomfortably.


    ¡°Which is why we had her brought to one of the Tilling Grounds.¡± Opherity says, without a hint of guilt or shame. ¡°To give her time to heal and learn if her talents were¨C¡±


    ¡°No, you bound her to Uldra¡¯s will and whims. Enslaved her.¡±


    That word. Such a¡­ a horrible thing to accuse a Fae of doing. Beyond an insult. If the room was shocked into silence before, it is broken into one now.


    ¡°Tell me I¡¯m wrong.¡± I demand, turn my glare at each and every one of them. Very few meet my eyes. Especially Uldra, who can¡¯t even hide such a tormented look as she stares down at her own knees.


    ¡°Little Sparrow.¡± My mentor steps closer. ¡°Four Fae cursed, four dead. She had to be contained!¡±


    I growl, ¡°Many twisted souls have set themselves as gods over the rifts. Dreadweave, Ukalon, and Furthonois. We make peace with them, for better or worse. Would never even consider harassing them despite the thousands they torment!¡±


    ¡°That is so very different. To war with one of those blighted gods would endanger the remaining Hearthfires.¡± She¡¯s lost her patience with me now. ¡°And they are not Fae!¡±


    Good. Let her feel this pain.


    ¡°Which means you have less excuses.¡± I turn from her. ¡°But I¡¯m not going to try and correct my elders¡¯ mistakes anymore. Doing so is as pointless as chasing the wind. I mean to walk and sing where I will.¡±


    I¡¯m at the door before a question stops me.


    ¡°And if she isn¡¯t dead and gone from the Dream?¡± Some old Fae prompts, Vundit I think.


    The painful hope of their words makes me want to grind my teeth to dust.


    I glance back over my shoulder. ¡°She was sucked into an ocean of rot, who here has met a soul of fire who can survive that?¡±


    My promise to Yuna plagues my mind then. Of¡­ of what I¡¯d sworn to keep silent till the day I¡¯m gone from this dream.


    And the little hope refuses to die. That¡­ that one she could maybe come back to us...


    ¡°What other Fae has ever bled rot?¡± The reptilian Fae continues. ¡°It could be possible. But what will you do, Awnya, if your lover returns from that sea between the Rifts?¡±


    I adjust my backpack. ¡°Beg for forgiveness, and never leave her side if she¡¯ll still have me.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll stand against your own kind.¡±


    Not a question.


    ¡°If you mean to threaten her freedom, form, or songs, then yes. Of course.¡± I shrug. ¡°I was taught to stand against slavers by my Old Goat.¡±


    And I leave, and am whirling an annoyed murmur of song and stepping through a Rift.


    Then three more. Using every ounce of my training to ensure none can follow me.


    * * *


    Tretion¡¯s manor is quiet, so I weave a soft song of warmth and greeting into the halls.


    Hello.


    It rumbles back, and I can¡¯t help but smile at how much better it sounds now. Took me weeks to get it fully healed. To weave songs together that could coax mending from such a strange leviathan. Was lucky my harmonies could even help.


    I pat a wall and proceed to the open door at the end of the hall.


    Tretion waits at her desk, head in her hands and tendrils still hanging limply.


    I end my song and rap a knuckle on the doorframe. ¡°Knock knock.¡±


    The watcher jerks up, and I can tell she¡¯s been sobbing. ¡°Oh, Awnya I¡­ I¡¯m sorry I¨C¡± She stands and wipes furiously at her eyes.


    ¡°Hey hey, no, don¡¯t be!¡± I approach quickly and pause just a few feet away. ¡°I get it. Don¡¯t¡­ don¡¯t apologize for needing to just stop and cry it out. Dreamer knows you¡¯ve let me fall apart more than once!¡±


    My own eyes prickle. At the loss we both feel and¡­ and the loss unique to me.


    I¡­ It¡¯s wonderful to know that my Old Goat saw Lyra as she was at the end but¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits could I use his stubborn love now.


    She sniffles and nods. ¡°Thank you, Awnya. I¡­ I don¡¯t think I would fare very well if you¡¯d not come to check on me as often as you do.¡±


    I smirk at that. ¡°I eh¡­ Was going to ask you about that. Actually.¡±


    A flash of worry, a stiffening in her muscles. I even see a ripple pass through her eyestalks. It¡¯s small, but¡­ gives me hope that maybe someday I¡¯ll get to see them dance again.


    ¡°I¡¯m sort of¡­ homeless now.¡± I grimace. ¡°Kinda just told the Fae to eat a bucket of sand and that I intend to stay out of the woods for a while. Was wondering if¡­ If I could stay here and¨C¡±


    Her eyes go wide, and her normal reserved nature just¡­ cracks. She closes the distance and pulls me into such a desperate wonderful hug.


    ¡°Oh¡­ Please, yes!¡± A shudder, and I know her tears have returned. ¡°Thank you for¡­ for not just leaving me here to¡­ to fade and¡­¡±


    I hug her back, enjoying the cool texture of her scales.


    We¡¯d bonded these past weeks. Over our shared grief as I sang her manor back to health. This hug isn¡¯t a new or rare thing, we¡¯d both needed our fair share of them as the memories of our lover crashed against our hearts in random and overwhelming waves.


    ¡°Never, Tretion.¡± I whisper. ¡°As long as you¡¯ll have me here. I¡¯ll always come back.¡±


    She pulls me closer. She¡¯d insisted that leaving her manor was never something she enjoyed¡­ but¡­ over this past year Lyra was the center of her life.


    And now that center is gone.


    We just¡­ enjoy this embrace for a long time. But as I hear little Lenelope enter with the evening''s meal I pull back. Not a lot, just enough to see her face. ¡°And actually I eh¡­ wanted to ask something else.¡± I look between them as Lenelope sets the tray down on the desk. She pauses and regards me with a friendly demeanor.


    Tretion¡¯s brow furrows and¡­ and I wonder¡­


    ¡°You can sleep anywhere you¡¯d like, all rooms are open to you.¡± And I can feel her eyes fight to not flit over to the large soft bed here in her own room.


    ¡°Careful! I might just take you up on that.¡± I laugh, and Dreamer¡¯s Tits does it feel good! I¡¯ve not laughed since¡­ oh it¡¯s been too long. I¡¯m not sure I can even remember the last time I¡­


    She blushes a little, but¡­ doesn¡¯t back down from her offer as her big smoky red eyes meet mine.


    ¡°But! That wasn¡¯t my question.¡± I smirk at her. ¡°I was¡­ Okay so It¡¯s kind of a whole thing and I don¡¯t really know where to start!¡±


    I reach out to Lenelope and move our little group to sit on the floor to enjoy the meal together. The little woman seems to be¡­ I don¡¯t know. Tretion mentioned that her soul was crafted as well. But¡­ that her memories were lost.


    She seems to adore this watcher and with every day I come back she seems so much more¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­ alive. I guess.


    ¡°So¡­ In my search for this manor I ended up bouncing between a ton of bad places. Cities and rifts a lot like Theradas.¡± I explain as we eat. ¡°I ended up freeing a ton of slaves and other desperate sorts and relocating them to better rifts. But¡­ I could only do so much. And¡­ often I had to just¡­ drop them off and hope their new home turned out okay.¡±


    Tretion¡¯s clever, and her eyes are already glimmering with understanding. ¡°You want to bring them here? Or¡­ find more safe spots and use the manor as an in-between resting place?¡±


    ¡°I know I¡­ I¡¯m a guest and I don¡¯t want you to think that I¡¯ll stop living here or visiting if you¡¯re not okay with this. I just¡­ after Lyra and¡­ and what I¡¯m realizing she went through as a slave and¡­ And I don¡¯t even know half of half of how bad it got! I just¡­ I want to¨C¡±


    Tretion touches my hand, turns to Lenelope. ¡°This is your home too, would you be comfortable with this?¡±


    Lenelope nods. ¡°It¡¯s always been too quiet here. Company sounds nice.¡±


    Then the watcher turns back and nods. ¡°Then yes. We¡¯ll help.¡±


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­ Just like that?¡± My eyes are watering. I¡¯d honestly expected to¡­ to find doubt and worry in their eyes. Agreement tainted by fear of me leaving them but¡­ No.


    All I see is resolve and focus.


    ¡°I¡¯ve¡­¡± She grimaces. ¡°Before my grandmother died I was¡­ I couldn¡¯t even consider having guests. And then Lyra found me and¡­ and she needed my everything. But now I¡¯d like to turn this manor¡¯s purpose toward providing more of that care to those who need it.¡±


    I nod. ¡°It doesn¡¯t have to be permanent. Just¡­ give people a safe place to heal and rest while I find good spots to settle them in.¡±


    ¡°Theoretically this manor can have unlimited rooms.¡± She waves a hand dismissively. ¡°The real problems will be in supplies. The food it produces is¡­ odd and we¡¯ll need to find better ways to keep other resources topped off.¡±


    I just¡­ fall back onto the carpet and let out a massive sigh. Overwhelmed by just how possible this is now! ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits! Thank you, Tretion. I¡­ This¡­ Yeah. I¡¯ll get you whatever we need to make this work.¡±


    I¡¯m vaguely aware of Lenelope rising after a pause and little giggle. I glance up just as Tretion moves to lay on the floor beside me. Takes up my hand in hers after a few heartbeats.


    ¡°I have one condition.¡± Tretion murmurs.


    I laugh. ¡°Yes, I will give you the Amwella dance of your life if you ask nicely.¡±


    She sputters and laughs, real and wonderful and so perfect that I can hear a few sobs crack through it. Squeezing her hand tighter I prompt her. ¡°But, that aside, what¡¯s your condition?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t leave here. Won¡¯t be able to help if you need to escape a bad situation.¡± She whispers. ¡°I want you to promise me to protect yourself more than anyone else. No matter what. Because if you''re gone anyone you save will be stranded here.¡±


    I sigh. ¡°Yeah. That¡­ I get that. But¡­ I also mean to¡­ Okay so I can¡¯t promise anything and don¡¯t want to get your hopes up, but I mean to search for a way to help you leave here.¡±


    ¡°That¡­ I¡¯ll be looking into that as well.¡± She squeezes my hand back, ¡°But¡­ I mean this Awnya. Be safe. Even if we find a way to stabilize my soul there is a good chance I won¡¯t be able to Riftwalk.¡±


    I wince. ¡°Oh.¡±


    ¡°Yes, Oh. And there are such dangerous things out there that would love an excuse to hunt a lone Fae. I will not have such things stalking you through the Rifts.¡±


    I laugh, and don¡¯t try to hide my nervousness. It¡¯ll help show her how much I really am scared of that. I¡­ I¡¯d already probably begun to attract a few terrible things¡¯ attention. ¡°Yeah. No thanks to that. I¡¯ll be keeping my face and nature as a Fae well hidden.¡±


    She lets out a deep sigh. Still worried, but¡­ trusting. I think. I turn to face her. ¡°Thank you Tretion.¡±


    She nods, looks over to meet my gaze. ¡°Of course.¡±


    ¡°Not¡­ not just for this, but¡­¡± I know my face must be such a mess of pain. ¡°But for¡­ for giving her the love and healing that I¡­¡±


    My words trail off¡­ Couldn¡¯t? Didn¡¯t?


    Tretion reaches out and touches my face. ¡°She adored you so, Awnya. You¡¯ve no idea how much. She never stopped loving you. Without your¡­ without what you gave her. I don¡¯t think she would have been able to love me. I¡­ I only wish we¡¯d been able to draw you here sooner.¡±


    And then we¡¯re crying again. Ugly and horrible and oh so needed. At some point a litany for our beloved is sputtering from my lips.


    A tune of pain that acts as a balm for our aching souls.


    * * *


    I can¡¯t stop just¡­ staring at the big colorful ocean of wonderfully smelling things that sings and roars up at the storm above! A few of the leviathans and little friends like the ones I¡¯d met in the ocean outside can even be seen swimming about!


    The storm seems a bit¡­ mean. But way less than my dark goddess when her cruelty is on display. This thing is a chaotic mess, where she is all precision and grace!


    The main room of the place Thendra wants us to visit is¡­ weird. But also filled with books! Pages that seem to preen and coo for me to take a peek.


    ¡°Can I read them!?!¡± I ask excitedly.


    She and Bulderii turn to regard me, faces a bit¡­ worried.


    ¡°Um¡­ they just¡­ sound really friendly.¡± I mumble, ¡°Like the jellyfish I use in my curses.¡±


    Rot maggots just¡­ sound so horrible and rude to call them. My little family from the colorful sea. I¡¯ll still have to help them grow tendrils though¡­


    Thendra purrs out such a laugh then, sudden and real and such a surprise, waves a hand. ¡°Sing as you read then.¡±


    I can¡¯t hide my grin as I turn and dart toward the shelves. Pull down a couple of the louder tomes and settle on the cold stone floor to read as I hum an excited tune.


    For now she wants to do something with the big pool of eck in the middle of the room. Told me¡­ honestly warned me that this is where she got her Reavers back from. Before I could growl about killing Twital if I saw her again, Thendra purred that they weren¡¯t the same people. Just¡­ might look similar to me.


    I¡­ glared down then, and her good mood turned a bit¡­ darker. I think that little piece of me she keeps attached to her soul lets her read my emotions really really well.


    Even without touching my core directly.


    She reached down, and with a finger at my chin she lured me back up to her jade eyes. ¡°You will not slaughter them. Not unless I demand it. Understand?¡±


    ¡°Okay. But if they touch me, even a little, I''m going to eat them.¡± I hissed.


    So I focus very hard at ignoring the mass of Reavers crawling from whatever that eck is as I enjoy this wonderful book! Can¡¯t stop a giggling song as little vibrant flowery growth¡­ things, spread from the pages onto me and the stones about my legs. I especially love it when they meet the clutch of jellyfish in my soul and ask if they can come in.


    Of course I let them! And as they settle and take root in my Amwella I learn their Fae name.


    Infest? Ugh that¡¯s the best word for them in this ugly tongue.


    As Thendra and her Reavers continue to do stupid things, I get to explore this amazing library and sing hellos to all my new friends! A ton of books are burnt or dead, which is sad. I would have loved to meet the little wigglers sleeping there, but I still find such a wonderful cacophony!


    Along with Infest I find a dozen other odd but colorful creatures hiding or sleeping or trapped within the pages. Each is so happy and grateful when I free them and ask to join my little family. Snuggle close and find a home in the little almost soul spaces within my Amwella.


    The sort of¡­ maybe songs I haven''t decided to sing.


    By the time I realize I¡¯ve finished the last book and am placing it back on the shelf, I turn to find Thendra, Bulderii, and the other Reavers just¡­ waiting.


    Staring.


    Bulderii looks somewhat disgusted and worried, Thendra is¡­ controlled focus. The Reaver¡¯s are just all concerned and fearful.


    ¡°What?¡± I look down at myself. See nothing but a few colorful friend¡¯s old husks still hanging off my chest and legs. I brush them away and look back up. ¡°Did¡­ I¡¯m sorry, did I take too long?¡±


    Bulderii¡¯s eyes widen at me as I step forward, and everyone but Thendra seems to lean back.


    I tilt my head. ¡°Wh¨C What is it? Why are you all so¡­¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve gathered power to yourself, little Reaver.¡± My dark goddess purrs. ¡°Can you control it?¡±


    ¡°Muh?¡± I reply stupidly.


    It takes a second for my dumb thoughts to remember. To connect my colorful sea and little friends to the old memories. Even my talons seem to kind of¡­ shimmer with an odd hue of vibrant midnight colors these days.


    Blight. Rot and Ruin. Dream stirring.


    ¡°Oh.¡± My face scrunches up in annoyance at the horrid words. They aren¡¯t wrong just¡­ sing of a language that wants people to hate us. ¡°Yes, they won¡¯t hurt me. And I¡¯ll make sure they stay close until I want to feed them. They''re really sweet, honestly.¡±


    That doesn¡¯t seem to calm Bulderii, but Thendra¡¯s mouth splits into such a grin of surprised joy.


    Whatever connection to my soul she has showing her the truth and excitement at my new family. Their unquestionable adorations for me and their promises to never hurt me ringing through my Amwella into hers.


    Why let love from this dream ever hurt me again when I have a family of little Blightborn and a dark goddess to twist me into new and perfect shapes?

 Chapter 67: Nothing is Always and Forever

    <u>CW:</u> Sad songs. Mentions of rough sex. Re-growing limbs and painful songs. Awnya POV to start off.


    <u>One year after the Dreadsong sung:</u>


    The most unsettling part of the border between the Fae wood and the Dead Dreamer¡¯s Wood is the silence. There is not like¡­ real visual change, not this early in. Maybe¡­ maybe everything in the Cursed forest is a bit darker right now but¡­ It¡¯s like¡­ everything that¡¯s on our side is alive and sensing danger. Pulling back as far as they can to avoid the Rot and Ruin.


    And everything beyond is like¡­ Normal looking. Too normal honestly. Because it FEELS like I¡¯m at the shore of some great sea, and to take even a few steps beyond will draw me deeper, drop me off the edge, and drown me.


    And I know without song or any sense I can describe, that I can step no closer. So it¡¯s from here that I begin my song. Weaving in her name amidst the Fae litany of hope and love and desperate desire to see a cherished soul returned!


    Lyra.


    LYRA!


    I start to walk along the edge, careful to respect the winding border while keeping my song as steady as possible.


    Please girl!


    Come back to me!


    To us!


    I can¡¯t imagine that¡­ that the volume of my voice will matter. But¡­ Soon I¡¯m just¡­ shouting my plea.


    TRETION''S ALIVE!!!


    And¡­ and Lyra she misses you SO much!


    I have to stop, reach out to stabilize myself against a nearby tree.


    PLEASE girl I¡­


    I can¡¯t do this alone¡­


    I¡­ I love her but¡­


    She needs YOU!


    I weeping now, I¡¯m wailing a song as I¡¯ve only ever heard my Fae lover do.


    PLEASE!


    Swim through the ocean, make your way through that old forest. Come back to this place!


    I¡­ I know it¡¯ll hurt. But WE WILL take care of you!


    No matter what flesh this horrid dream wraps you in!


    Even if I have to weave your body myself, I¡¯ll make sure your settled and happy and¨C


    The song cracks, and I¡¯m on my knees as the words falter into¡­ into such nonsense things now. Can barely blubber out the rest¡­


    Please¡­ please Lyra¡­


    Forgive me.


    I¡¯m sorry.


    I¡¯m so sorry I left you.


    Please come back to us!


    But¡­ just like all the other times I¡¯ve come here this past year, my lover does not hear my call.


    Does not return to my arms from the blighted sea she was swept back into. So I settle my workings into the border. Hopefully a sign if she returns from her death.


    And I am forced to continue to walk these rifts alone before returning to my watcher¡¯s manor.


    *    *    *


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry!¡± Tretion just¡­ sobs into my chest as we cuddle amidst the silken sheets.


    ¡°Hey hey, none of that!¡± I coo as I run fingers carefully through her limp and twitching tendrils, place a soft kiss amidst the mess of them. ¡°We agreed, no apologizing.¡±


    ¡°This is different.¡± She huffs, almost angry now. ¡°I pulled you into my bed, enticed you and¡­ and after all this time, after a year of us together! I¡­ I can¡¯t even follow through without falling apart!!!¡±


    I hug her tighter. ¡°Nope. Tretion this is¡­ Dreamers Tit¡¯s, This is perfect. Just¡­ Meeting you and getting to hold you and¡­ I mean yeah sex will be wonderful if we get there but there is no need to rush.¡±


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    She growls, sort of¡­ pulls from my arms and fixes me with such a horny glare. And I can see behind her eyes the battle raging.


    A soul caught between desire and old painful memories.


    I give her a confident smirk ¡°I¡¯m not going anywhere Tretion, you have all the time in the dream.¡±


    That cracks something in her, causes her face to twist into such a horrid expression. ¡°No, I don¡¯t. I¡­ I¡¯ve learned that. Nothing is¡­ is¡­¡±


    The broken promise she cannot speak flashes.


    Nothing is Always and Forever.


    I take her face in my hands. ¡°I¡¯m not going to leave you.¡±


    She whimpers, and dissolves back into a puddle in my arms. Eventually is able to murmur, ¡°It¡¯s just¡­ hard. Because you¡¯re¡­¡±


    She trails off before the final word... Fae.


    ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡­¡± That stops me short, a flurry of worry that this was all a very bad idea devouring my words.


    That being Fae is just¡­ too much for her. That my affections will always just remind her of the beloved she lost.


    She moves to sit up, fixes me with a hard look. ¡°But you¡¯re not her.¡±


    That stutters the thought.


    ¡°You¡¯re not even remotely similar.¡± She growls, all to herself.


    At herself.


    ¡°Hey, Tretion I¡­ I get it and¨C¡±


    ¡°No. I need you to understand me.¡± She maneuvers to take my face in her hands. ¡°This has nothing to do with you being Fae!¡±


    A long pause passes as her eyes fill with more tears. ¡°You¡¯re the only other woman I¡¯ve been allowed to love who chose me first. And I¡­ I failed to protect every single one of my past lovers.¡±


    ¡°Hey, c¡¯mon that¡¯s not fair to¨C¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. It¡¯s the truth.¡± She¡¯s shaking now. ¡°My¡­ my first two lost to my horrid wretched family, then¡­ then Lyra to¡­¡±


    Her name hurts, but¡­ we need to share it. Need to keep it close so we can heal.


    ¡°To the Fae and¡­ and her Waking Nightmares and¡­¡± She releases my face and slumps a bit. ¡°I just¡­ want to be enough for you. But I can¡¯t even leave this manor anymore! Can¡¯t Riftwalk or incant magic well or¡­¡±


    I move my fingers to her tendrils, begin gentle workings. Little things I¡¯ve been using to try to coax more movement and twitches with. Sometimes even wriggles. Anything to help bring life back into her¡­


    ¡°Yeah. I feel the same way. I¡¯ve had passing flames, but¡­ but I wanted Lyra to be more.¡±


    After a pause she whispers. ¡°How did you meet her?¡±


    We''ve... been careful about delving into too much of our past with her. Sure we''ve shared a thousand good sobbing bouts and murmured things but... We''ve tried to keep busy. This is the first time she''s been able to ask me this.


    So I settle into myself, harden my heart to the memories. ¡°I¡­ I was asked by her sibling to help. Expected to just¡­ find some wounded girl who needed a friend or passing flame. But¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tit¡¯s Tretion I was not ready for her, for¡­ for all the things she¡¯s been through. For just how... how vibrant she was despite it all.¡±


    Tretion shudders. ¡°She¡­ she told me of her past. A few nights before we left to go back to the Fae wood. Right up until Theradas and¡­¡±


    She trails off before the haunting name. The cursed horrid fucking monster we try to NEVER talk about.


    Thendra.


    ¡°The cunt, yeah¡­¡± I nod. ¡°Same. I didn¡¯t want to push her into talking about her time there but¡­ now I wish I did. Because I didn¡¯t understand how bad it was until it was too late. Until I couldn¡¯t get her out.¡±


    Tretion chokes through a sob. ¡°I¡­ I caught glimpses. During her Waking Nightmares. She would scream and beg and¡­ and¨C¡± Tretion¡¯s sobbing again. ¡°All that seemed to help was when her wonderful soul tails would cling to my core and hold on tight. But that¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s how I¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh Dreamers Tit¡¯s, Tretion, what happened is not your fault!¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t feel it, but¡­ I do know that. The Fae just kept pushing and pushing and¡­ and she finally just¡­ stopped trying to care. I saw it then¡­ in her eyes. When she killed the two Fae with the bird one. She was just¡­ barely holding on. I watched that fear turn to fury and¡­ and I was so scared but also so proud of her, Awnya." She growling now. Head tendrils more wriggly than ever before. "I know that¡¯s horrible to say but I¡¯m so angry that I didn¡¯t get to tell her that. To tell her that she had the right to kill any of those horrid people that sought to hurt her.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but laugh through my own tears. Oddly comfortable with how much I agree with her. How my own pain sharpens easily into hatred for my own kind. ¡°We Fae have more than enough cautionary tales about what happens to idiots cornering a wounded and scared predator.¡±


    I¡¯m growling by then too. ¡°They have no excuses.¡±


    *    *    *


    ¡°Again.¡± Thendra demands.


    I growl, shake the stupid talon, and try to Reave the dream.


    Another failure.


    A year of this. Of going with Bulderii and Reavers on odd¡­ tasks. Then, every night, Thendra has me break the rest of myself upon this impossible song. The screech of a Reaver¡¯s Riftwalk. Quick, precise, and without do overs or try agains. Something she demands I be able to slice open at my will.


    With or without her command.


    The curse¡¯s sting is so odd these days. It always seems to sting me the exact same way, bleed my soul of the same amount every time. But¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits there are songs that leave me a mewling puddle on the floor, while others barely agitate me.


    And again¡­ another failure.


    I pause¡­ consider my song. Think on the random successes that brought me an early end to a day and wonderful dreamless sleep.


    But¡­ something just¡­ isn¡¯t right! The song feels wrong! But¡­ as I consider each note and beat¡­ it¡¯s flawless.


    ¡°I¡¯m missing something.¡± I hum to myself.


    Little jellyfish coo, and I shush them. Need to focus.


    Thendra doesn¡¯t command me to try again, only thrums in pleasure as I pause to think. She¡¯s perfect like that. The little piece of me in her soul lets her always know what I¡¯m feeling, and honestly¡­ It wouldn¡¯t surprise me to find out that she can basically read my thoughts by now.


    I¡¯m stupid and they can¡¯t be that difficult to parse out from my flittering soul.


    I clench the right talon, let the broken bones sing agony into me, sharpen my mind and¡­ and the pain feels right for this. Perfect for the melody.


    But I can¡¯t rely on pain to Riftwalk. That¡¯s just stupid and dangerous.


    I¡¯d wish for a Fae¡¯s Riftwalk¡­ but to get that I¡¯d either need to kidnap or convince one to share the melody with me.


    Huh¡­ I can¡¯t help but grin as the thought of that blighted people doesn¡¯t bring me anything but a sort of dreadful mirth. A desire to see them experience the agony they so desperately hide from, and to taste a few of their wonderful souls once mor-


    ¡°Again.¡± Thendra prompts, sensing my distraction.


    I giggle, and obey.


    Loving just¡­ how seen I feel!


    Never alone! Even when I¡¯m off doing nonsense with Bulderii and her Reavers!


    Another failure.


    What am I missing though? Thendra¡¯s method of doing this is¡­ So much different and honestly seemingly limited compared to what I can do. So she can¡¯t give me much to go off of.


    Who can teach me this?


    The little blighted things dwelling in the maybe parts of my soul perk up and gibber at me. I¡¯m about to give them a soft growl of warning but¡­ pause. Look down.


    Can you teach me how to do this?


    A¡­ gurgling yip from a few of them. And I can¡¯t help but grin as I call up my curse and sing their words. Lacing their form and will over my soft screeching melody while letting them slip down the right talon.


    PAIN.


    So much I¡­ I almost lose the song as I drop to my knees.


    My family is hurting me? Biting and clawing and nibbling at the stupid talon. And I¡­ I can¡¯t help but consider finishing what I started.


    Shove the stupid thing In my mouth and beg Thendra to let me start weaving a new one when it¡¯s gone. But¡­ Now my family is in it and I don¡¯t know if tearing it off could hurt them!


    The song is a hissing gurgling thing now, and the talon begins to¡­ to¡­ For a moment I wonder if my dark goddess can see the bubbling colors and extra hooked fingers growing and jutting from the talon.


    Oh¡­ OH!


    I¡¯m almost sobbing through the pain and song as my family gives me a piece of the endless void we call home.


    The Talon¡­ No¡­


    MY talon is Perfect! No longer a maimed thing of horrid pain and half broken nonsense, but a wondrous home for them! And for the first time in years¡­


    It feels like mine again!


    I giggle and shout in joy as they finish the flesh change, turning to my dark goddess to show her their workings. Her face is all contained possessive focus, but her Jade eyes sing with delight.


    ¡°Again.¡± She purrs. And in those words I know that she can feel the success my talon will always grant me.


    I Reave a tear open without even looking, and pause only to bask in the wonderful smells the wound brings. Thendra can¡¯t even stop the small smirk that touches the edge of her lips as I pull the tear closed and step up to her.


    I don¡¯t need to speak, just¡­ let furious hunger consume my soul. The desire for her to reward me for this victory with body breaking mind numbing sex laid bare for her to sense.


    And of course, my dark goddess keeps her promises¡­

 Chapter 68: Wordless Fae Songs and a Herald of Freedom

    <u>CW:</u>


    Mutilation of the MC that she has to maintain. Mention of sex used as self-harm (not stated but HEAVILY implied), Awnya POVs


    <u>Four years past the Dreadsong sung</u>


    ¡°You can stay here as long as you like!¡± I shrug as Lenelope and I step back and just let the two men gawk openly at the room. ¡°In a couple days if you''re comfortable we can talk about a new home for you both.¡±


    The two men turn back, tears and such wander glimmering in their eyes. Tretion moves past us, escorting a trio of smaller women to the next room over.


    Lenelope steps forward and holds out a key for them. ¡°This is the key to your room. It¡¯ll also bring you back to this hallway.¡±


    One of the two graceful panther-like beings steps forward and takes the key, tail swishing about in worry and confusion. ¡°Wh¨C Why did you do this? Why free us and¡­ and bring us here?¡±


    I smirk and shrug. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t need a reason to help people claim some happiness and freedom.¡±


    It¡¯s¡­ well it¡¯s not a lie. But¡­ I¡¯d rather not start tearing up every time I get asked that.


    I do this for the woman I couldn''t save.


    How It¡¯s all I can do to atone for my failures beyond my constant monthly visits to a cursed wood at the edge of the Dream to plead with her spirit to return to us.


    Once this batch of newly freed souls are given rooms, food, and settled in, I head to the main chambers.


    My lover is slumping into her chair, a sort of¡­ tired satisfied look to her posture as I shut the door.


    This was a big group that we¡¯d put months of planning into organizing to get them free and clear. And finally, we were at the final steps. We¡¯d let them rest and recover here for a few days, a week at most, and then move them to the quiet little rift to resettle when they''re ready.


    No words are spoken as I move over to stand behind her, begin to curl fingers through her mane of wiggly tendrils. At my touches they fight to raise up and meet my hands as best they can.


    I can¡¯t help but smirk at how much progress we¡¯ve made with them over the past four years.


    Once I began to notice the little nubs poking out from her new soul It was easy to understand what was missing. So¡­ with song and a little help from the manor, we¡¯ve been coaxing feelings and motion back into them. But¡­ soul growth and healing is slow and hard and¡­ not really a straight path, especially when there are a couple dozen independent appendages.


    Humming while I massage and play with them, I can''t help but reward each one with little nibbling kisses when they are able to raise up to almost full height.


    Tretion shudders at the sensation, stammers out. ¡°Still¡­ Clumsy. Need to practice more.¡±


    ¡°Hey, I¡¯ve spent most of my life relying on my songs to get things done.¡± I snort and let my little song fade. ¡°It¡¯ll probably take me another decade to get used to using all the magic trinkets you send me off with.¡±


    Tretion huffs, that wasn¡¯t what she meant. But¡­


    No Fae songs anymore, not while I was out and under my mask. When I¡¯m walking the rifts and freeing souls I can rely only on my wits and tools. My lover had insisted this when we explored the vault and all the old magical nonsense her family had kept there.


    A spell slinger freeing slaves? An annoyance.


    But a lone Fae? A very tempting target for some horrific monsters, and even a gentle song in a crowd could expose my nature.


    She swirls her chair and turns to face me. I keep my hands amongst her mane, can¡¯t suppress my grin as they wiggle and dance in response to her sudden mood shift.


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ No Awnya you¡¯re¨C¡± Her face scrunches, but she can¡¯t help but embrace the smile I¡¯ve infected her with. ¡°You¡¯re teasing me.¡±


    ¡°Just a bit.¡± I shrug, squeezing and pulling a cluster of tendrils in a rippling motion. She sort of¡­ sputters out for a second, eyes fluttering shut at the rush of sensation I know I just hit her with. ¡°Are you complaining?¡±


    She can only offer me a soft little moan. Which I take to mean, Dreamers Tit¡¯s no!


    I can¡¯t stop the rush of warmth that sings through my soul and bubbles up to my lips. And over the next minute I get to watch my lover melt under the weight of my attention.


    ¡°S¡¯not fair.¡± She whispers out between increasingly heavy breaths. ¡°How¡­ how easy it is for you to¡­ to get me like this now.¡±


    ¡°Like what?¡± I murmur into the harmony I weave about us. ¡°Where do you think I¡¯m heading with this?¡±


    She tries to growl, but it¡¯s simply a delightful little sound that I work into our song.


    ¡°Bed please.¡± She huffs out, ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t want us to¡­ to ruin anything on the desk again.¡±


    And with song and gentle workings, I pull Tretion across the room, pin her amidst silken sheets, and draw her into a furious dancing of our souls and bodies.


    By the end we¡¯re both panting songless messes. I¡¯d taken our last bout and hover over her now. Get to just¡­ hum my affections for my watcher.


    She¡¯s just¡­ So perfect. All soft flawless scales and wriggly head tendrils. Eyes like a smoldering fire that contrast so well to her glacially tinted soul.


    ¡°You need to avoid Grugelous for a while.¡± She sighs out eventually.


    I smirk and place a few quick pecks down across her wriggling tendrils. ¡°Why¡¯s that?¡±


    ¡°The batch you saved had a few markings, brands tying them to one of the three.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡±


    One of the three blighted gods that trafficked in slaves. The Fae as a whole maintained a steady non-aggression pact with them.


    I huff. ¡°Like¡­ loaned out or¡­¡±


    ¡°No. Bought or gifted. But¡­ it means the slavers might have connections.¡±


    ¡°Oh good.¡± I sigh in relief, but also anger. ¡°Because I have sixteen more to¨C¡±


    Tretion fixes me with a hard look, reaches up to take my cheek in her hands. ¡°No.¡±


    I purse my lips, but nod. Dedicated to our agreement for the past four years.


    Keep myself safe, above all others. Because if I get caught or¡­ or fade. Not only will no others be rescued, but Tretion and whoever I¡¯ve left here will be stuck in the manor. And¡­ and while their food stores are good, they will only last about a decade at most.


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    I drop down to cuddle into her side. ¡°Okay. So¡­ Where to next?¡±


    ¡°A little rift called Friktikia,¡± She sighs. ¡°It¡¯s a bit like Theradas in that people only live in one big city these days. But¡­ it¡¯s slave trade is soft and tame compared to the other Rifts you¡¯ve worked in.¡±


    I sigh, flinching a bit internally at the mention of the blighted city she¡¯s comparing it to. ¡°Alright.¡±


    A pause. ¡°I um¡­ Also have some old connections there. Would request you meet with them and attempt to¡­ um¡­¡±


    I turn up to eye her.


    ¡°I¡¯m making good progress on my soul research, and¡­¡± Her tendrils wriggle in annoyance. ¡°I picked this place for selfish reasons. It will have resources I can use.¡±


    I suppress a laugh, knowing how it might convey the wrong message. Only smile in joy. ¡°Really!?! That¡¯s not selfish, Tretion. Your logic is sound, and honestly¡­ your life needs to come first too.¡±


    That makes her jerk, looking down to me with glistening eyes. ¡°Wh¨C What?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m kinda a stupid goose sometimes. Am used to just¡­ throwing myself at a problem with everything I am. You keep me smart, Tretion. And¡­ and I really do love you. Kinda want to spend the rest of the dream at your side. If you¡¯ll have me. And¡­ that means I want to take you places beyond these halls.¡±


    Her face wrinkles in such a mess of pain and joy and¡­ and love. I know that my words echo another¡¯s.


    But¡­ I can¡¯t not let her hear them!


    Need to let this wonderful soul know that she is worth more to me than all others.


    ¡°And besides! That¡¯s really exciting!¡± I add while kissing the side of her breast. ¡°I kinda wish you had sent me there sooner. I will always be willing to stop if it means helping my lover.¡±


    ¡°You won¡¯t be stopping, just¡­ slowing down for a few months.¡± She curls onto her side to face me. ¡°Meeting some old contacts and hopefully getting the chance to actually enjoy one of the Rifts you flit about in.¡±


    I look away, need to¡­ to focus or that¡¯ll send me into a bit of a sobbing fit. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever enjoy walking the Rifts alone.¡±


    She winces. Both in a sort of well healed guilt over her own forced hermitage here, but also because she knows the one I always walked them with.


    Sees the memories of my dad that I shared in song and soft spoken story flashing behind my eyes.


    ¡°Then¡­ let¡¯s try to fix that." She takes my face in her hand and pulls my forehead to hers. "Get my soul stabilized so I can be out there helping you!¡±


    * * *


    Bulderii gets a hand around my throat, drags me off her, and slams us down into the hard stone floor. This breaks my lower spine in two places.


    This odd house within this Rift of half-burned jungles and melted stone structures has been a good enough home. I still miss the spiced scent of Theradas but... Thendra''s not taken us back there for years. Knowing that it''ll be the one of first place the Blighted Fae will check when they come looking and... and that wonderfully horrid Golden-Amber eyed girl would no doubt be the first to visit.


    And while I would relish the chance to consume more of their wonderfully warm soulflame, I... I don''t think I could survive seeing Awnya again.


    I can''t hurt her if she wanted to drag me away to pay for my wretched nature and killing of her father. But... I wouldn''t let Thendra hurt her either. So... What would that leave?


    Nothing but more agony and despair, which is no doubt why she took us away to dwell in other Rifts. Places the Fae wouldn''t think to look and basically avoid.


    Naranggas go slack and fall away from Bulderii''s core at the sudden shock and writhing pain.


    My wellspring of Amwella flares up immediately to try to repair the damage. But¡­ she doesn¡¯t reduce the pressure on my throat. So all I can do is gag and gurgle while my body goes numb. Can¡¯t even grab at her wrist to try and¨C


    She growls in such fury, eyes blazing. ¡°Why!?!¡±


    I give her the best glare I can as my soulfire twists and burns to keep my body alive.


    She squeezes tighter, then pulls back the pressure enough to let me take in a wheezing gasp as bones and muscles pop back into place.


    The only remaining three Reavers from the clutch Thendra spawned four years ago mill around us. Would probably be as angry as Bulderii¡­ but¡­ they saw what I did to the others.


    How quickly and easily I can gift them a very painful death.


    My Naranggas start to twist again, begin to slither and wind toward this blighted woman¡¯s core to¨C


    Three quick jabs with a tendril half their size directly into my own soul, a flash of pain, and I¡¯m helpless again. She offers only a silent demand for an answer, and threats of worse if I do not give it.


    ¡°Keeping Promises.¡± I hiss. Spine popping back into place and rewarding me with more pain as feeling in my toes slowly return.


    Her brow furrows. And then a ripping sound cuts through the silence, and I can¡¯t help but grimace as I recognise the thrum of my dark goddesses'' arrival through a Rift. Called to us by the sudden distress she felt echoing through the souls of her Reaver.


    A pause, then she sighs out a thrum of annoyance as she no doubt sees my work.


    Six Reavers, slumped and twisted. Bodies vessels of gorgeous and colorful decay and rot, soulfire torn and already gone from the Dream. A feast for my jellyfish, now safe and snuggled back into my Amwella.


    I told you this would happen! I can¡¯t help but radiate rage within my own soul. Warned that if one of these Dreamer Blighted Reavers touched me that I would EAT THEM!!!


    She feels that fury bubbling from my soul so I don¡¯t even need to speak up to defend my song weaving. And¡­ I know better than to try and force her thoughts on this with words¡­ So I wait. Fight down flashes of all the torments and punishments she could leverage at me.


    A feast of Reavers, tearing at flesh and bone and soul to force me to heal, maybe¡­ maybe worse things still I haven''t even thought of. I¡¯d¡­ mostly avoided anything bad since we left Theradas all those years ago.


    And¡­ I mean¡­ I can¡¯t really count violent sex as a punishment. Even if some feedings tipped more into pain. I asked for that often enough. Loved to balance on that razor''s edge of never quite knowing how far I could go before the pain cracked my desires and left me a puddle of weeping nonsense. But¡­ Why do you even care!?! You can just make more! And I know it costs Amwella, sure¡­ but you can just take that from me!


    She growls in reply to my soul''s questions. ¡°New Reavers will not be bloodied enough for the tasks I would send them on, and it will take years to drive some intelligence back into their skulls.¡±


    ¡°Promises¡­ Kept!¡± I repeat aloud.


    A thrum of¡­ something. It¡¯s angry, but¡­ there is another thing it shrouds. Not joy¡­ but¡­ Inspiration?


    ¡°Oaths come with costs.¡± Bulderii shakes her head and growls. ¡°Either honored or broken.¡±


    That¡­ makes me stop. I go a bit slack, let¡­ let my body settle and Amwella focus on burning away my injuries.


    ¡°I¡¯ll pay it.¡± I whisper softly.


    An annoyed purr. Then, Bulderii releases me. Steps back with an oddly blank expression.


    Thendra moves into view, kneeling as I fight to get my elbows beneath me while I slowly get feeling back into my useless legs.


    ¡°The curse¡¯s hold on you has waned,¡± She¡­ she doesn¡¯t seem angry at that. Just¡­ contemplative. Just stating something we both know.


    "I thought you wanted me to sing certain songs without you. Riftwalking and Blights and... other things." I huff and look away.


    She nods and purrs. ¡°I will have your voice, a half year of wordlessness from you as punishment for this indulgence.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ What?¡± I jerk back to stare at her.


    ¡°One month for each Reaver you¡¯ve stolen.¡±


    ¡°O¡­ kay?¡± I think on that. Consider¡­ I mean that doesn¡¯t sound too bad. Annoying, sure.


    But¡­ Then a horrid thought hits me. ¡°Like¡­ Another curse? You want me to curse myself. Again? But... then how will I-¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Thendra fixes those perfect jade eyes on mine. ¡°I will cut your tongue out.¡±


    I jolt to a stop, beyond words. Not from the horrifying nature of her demand. Not because I know that she can sense my fear. Not even because healed and perfect I couldn¡¯t escape her, and would have no were but those Dreamer Blighted Cursed woods to return to now.


    But¡­ because I see in those eyes the storm, and how even now my actions just¡­ fall into its workings. This isn¡¯t anger, and¡­ and even her annoyance was a fleeting twisting of lightning. Already passed and leaving only her plans and how I fall into them.


    I just¡­ Stare at her for a time. Eyes wide and heart thundering as I feel my mind and soul just... watched and seen so perfectly by those enthralling jade eyes. My every stupid thought a simple thing to be measured and considered by the monster I sold myself to.


    Thendra doesn¡¯t rush me. My dark goddess even let¡¯s my spine heal enough for me to sit up and think on this cost.


    She¡­ she must also expect me to keep it from healing back!!! I nearly start sobbing at the horrid thought. Seal the wound closed until she allows me my words again¡­


    Then she holds out a hand. Cupped perfectly for¡­ for¡­ me to rest my chin on it so she can¡­ can¡­


    I do choke on a sob of¡­ of such fear and sorrow and¡­ Shame. Such bubbling of guilt at just how stupid and broken I am. And... and how this one person I''ve trusted with my everything sees that all so completely and-


    But before I spiral deeper, a single tendril of hers reaches for one of my Naranggas, picks the limp quivering thing up, and lays it across her core.


    Then there is only the Storm of her will and soul.


    And within it I see¡­ I see¡­


    Pride? Satisfaction!?! Not even the smallest hint of disappointment, rage, or annoyance.


    Just¡­ An opportunity to sharpen this tool into the talon she desires me to be. That without words my Fae songs will no longer be restrained by those blighted peoples'' tongue, but my own will alone. That all my pain and shame and fury will form their foundations and weave them into even stronger workings unshackled by the need for specific words.


    Trembling and already sobbing, I lean forward and lay my chin on her enormous hand. unable to close my eyes as I drown in her soul''s perfect song.


    Then I take a deep breath, and open my mouth.


    Offer her the tongue.


    Her other hand crackles with energy, then makes a single deft motion too quick for me to follow, and I see the length of wet flesh in her hand.


    A pause¡­ and for a moment I wonder if I¡¯m supposed to be feeling¨C


    PAIN!!! Furious and hot and choking and horrid and¨C


    She¡¯s already tossed away the old dead flesh and is pulling me close. Cradling my head as I dissolve into gagging sobs. Gives me a command to hum a wordless song to dull my pain and seal the wound closed as her other hand weaves comforting patterns over the brand on my flank.


    The song is just... so hard to sing! But... it works! Even um... well it feels more... alive. Stronger and rippling harder through my body and Dream! Naranggas darting up to wrap around and around her core as I obey my dark goddess. Drink in the storm and¡­ and use its pitiless focus to break my sorrows apart. Reforge what others would discard as useless pain into the grindstone that can reshape my weakness into a thing she can use.


    * * *


    Maybe it¡¯s the mood that comes along with a day of good things that made me notice her and react with such mindless abandon for my promises.


    First, I¡¯d settled the last group nicely into an old Rift. One that¡¯d taken to preparing homes and life for future groups without us even needing to ask for help.


    Second, breakfast was good back in the manor. Nelops had been teaching the old house¡¯s bubbles to cook and Dreamer¡¯s Tits was it just¡­ way too good at things when we coaxed it into trying!


    Third, I¡¯d found every single book on Tretion¡¯s list. Alongside the weird contraption the author had made! Neither of us actually expected anyone else to study the nature of soul preservation to the extent of actually building a resonance cage, and my watcher would be even more impressed than I.


    Since¡­ she actually understood this nonsense.


    But now I¡¯m frozen, staring through the crowd. Black hair, mousey demeanor, loose attire that shows off more leg and hip than is practical in the cool breeze. Then I¡¯m shoving through, her name caught on my lips, tears bubbling in my eyes as I touch her arm and¨C


    She jerks a bit and turns, eyes wide with fear.


    And¡­ Ugh.


    Just... Dreamer¡¯s Tits she doesn¡¯t even look like Lyra from the front!


    Not¡­ okay maybe a touch but¡­ like¡­ Not enough for me to react like this.


    ¡°Oh, Dreamer¡¯s¡­¡± I stutter and step back, pulling up the mask I¡¯d chosen for today¡¯s errands and settling it atop my hair. Hold palms out in a sign of peace. ¡°I¡¯m really sorry! I thought you were someone else.¡±


    Build is all wrong too. More comfortable weight than Lyra ever put on. Hair is also shorter and a lighter shade. Eyes are just¡­ a dull brown as opposed to her shimmering violet wonders.


    ¡°Oh! Um¡­¡± Her eyes dance over me, cheeks flush a bit as her fear drains away. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s alright.¡±


    But¡­ she could have still looked like this after eight happy years without needling her Fae form back to old shapes¡­


    I adjust the bag on my shoulder, let a smirk rise up. ¡°Just¡­ got excited. I just didn¡¯t expect to find someone who reminded me of her.¡±


    Especially not strutting through the streets of Yrentia.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine, really! She¡­ She must have been really important to you.¡± She struggles a bit with her own load of bags, fighting to pull her eyes free of my Fae gaze. Reaches up to awkwardly brush her hair aside and¡­


    And I almost choke on the sight.


    Three feathers, just under her left ear.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m Nufera.¡± She displays them proudly. ¡°Of Brethia¡¯s house.¡± She finishes with a broken smile.


    Two purple, one a deep green. A coveted pillow slave and manager of others in her owner''s house. And¡­ and from their length. She must have had them growing for years. Almost two decades.


    Had them since she was barely a woman feeling her first sparks of Amwella!


    ¡°Ah.¡± I frown in such a loud way.


    The same Dreamer Blighted smile that Lyra had when she¡¯d think of the cunt who hurt her.


    She seems to flinch as a worry visibly overtakes her.


    Within a whirling mass of past mistakes and furious focus, my decision is made for me. And I¡¯m already humming this slave a song to herald her freedom.

 Chapter 69: Surrogate Blights

    <u>CW:</u>


    Awnya POVs, Then Lyra POVs. Death and misgendering.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡± I hiss, trying to will the gate open while maintaining my song of peace to the sleeping woman in my arms. I drop the sack of books again, and end up simply weaving a plea for the manor to just¡­ open up! ... Please?


    Hello


    It purrs back, and welcomes me home.


    I stumble through, sort of¡­ scooting the sack of books alongside me.


    ¡°Awnya!?!¡± A woman rushed into the room at my curses.


    ¡°Heya Nelops!¡± I huff as I end my song, I look up to see my watcher¡¯s oldest companion. ¡°Help me out?¡±


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits, Lenelope¡¯s soul has grown so much in the past four years since I first met her. A product of both Tretion¡¯s studies and devotion to give the loyal woman a life beyond this place, my song workings bringing life to the silence of the manor, and the Amwella dances she¡¯d asked to join us in.


    She frowns, both at the woman in my arms and the foot dragging the sack of very old and delicate tomes. ¡°Who is that?¡±


    I wasn¡¯t due to free any slave in Yrentia. Too close to Ukalon¡¯s perch, and there is the problem of the feathers used to mark their slaves. Sensitive soulbound nightmares that are incredibly difficult to remove.


    Impossible really¡­ Or¡­ or at least until I perfect the¨C


    ¡°Nufera.¡± I reply simply, nod back to the books. ¡°Could you take those to the study? I want to get her situated.¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ Awnya?¡± She steps up to examine the woman in my arms, ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    I grunt, give Nelops a peck on the forehead, then move to walk past her. ¡°Something reckless and probably stupid.¡±


    She catches my shoulder, albeit gently, and I can¡¯t help but smile at¡­ at just how much more she is now! How just a few years ago she was just¡­ less. Less independent and talkative and thoughtful.


    How she¡¯s about to scold the blight out of me for breaking my promises to her and Tretion. A thing she just¡­ would never consider in years prior!


    A pause, my smile disarming her a bit. Totally by accident but...


    ¡°Go ahead.¡± I whisper, fighting to soften my expression. It really isn¡¯t fair what a loving Fae smile can do to a girl. ¡°Tell me off. I deserve it.¡±


    ¡°I will. But¡­¡± She sighs, brushes the girl''s hair aside. Then hisses as she sees the feathers.


    ¡°Awnya.¡± She bites, ¡°You¡­ You need to¡­¡±


    Put her back where I found her? Hope her mistress takes her sudden disappearance well?


    No. She¡¯s our responsibility now. And Lenelope knows that.


    I wince as she fumes. ¡°I think can get them out.¡±


    Lenelope glares up at me, careful to focus on my forehead or nose to keep her anger hot. ¡°You think?¡±


    Two promises broken. At least. Probably a few I can¡¯t recall.


    I nod, force raw confidence into my tone. ¡°I know It¡¯ll work. Just¡­ I¡¯ve fiddled with the blighted song enough.¡±


    An annoyed breath, then she¡¯s drawing out a little pearlescent key and shoving it into my hand. ¡°Shall I inform Tretion? Or will you?¡±


    I look down at the drowsy woman in my arms. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I want her involved right now. Honestly. But¡­ Sure. Do what you think is best, Nelops. I trust you. I¡¯m honestly not thinking straight right now.¡±


    She nods, moves to pick up the books as I look to find a doorway for the key.


    * * *


    I try waking Nufera to a calming melody, but¡­ She¡¯s sharp, and not easily tricked by soft Fae songs. When she sits up she¡¯s already glancing about in a sort of uncertain confusion. So I let the song fade.


    ¡°Hey there, how ya'' feelin''?¡±


    She squints at me, ¡°A... Awnya?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s me!¡± I give her a moderate smile. Probably still tinted with a bit of weariness at the slow and rough songs I just had to weave, but¡­ so relieved at my success.


    Even that only distracts her for a second. Then her eyes are wide, and the fear hits.


    She¡­ doesn¡¯t handle it well. Begins to curse and spit in a language I barely recognize, only understand because of my Fae nature¡¯s natural ability to decipher most tongues.


    I scoot back and hold both palms out, but¡­ let her get the fury out. Work out that her old life is over now.


    ¡°Why!?!¡± She finally turns a word at me, waits for an answer.


    ¡°Because everyone deserves freedom.¡±


    That word it¡­ it sputters her to a stop. Fingers reach up to touch the skin beneath her neck. To the three little bumps marking where the slave feathers once grew from.


    ¡°What did you do?¡± She whispers, eyes go wide. Tears begin to bubble.


    ¡°Yeah. I¡­ Look I¡¯m part of a little group that frees¨C¡±


    Eyes go hot and angry as she screams. ¡°WHAT DID YOU DO!?!¡±


    I wince. ¡°Took them out. Fully. Not¡­ not clipped, not popped free to come back in a few weeks. Gone.¡±


    Her brow furrows. ¡°No that¡¯s¡­ they can¡¯t come out. You¡¯re just¡­ stupid. And your stupidity is going to cost me so much!¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°Can you see souls?¡±


    She sort of¡­ half sobs, then nods.


    Such terror is rising in her now.


    ¡°Look, and¡­ and we can go from there. Okay?¡±


    She closes her eyes, not¡­ At first I think that¡¯s how she needs to activate whatever magic lets her see souls. But¡­ no. She¡¯s just terrified at what she will see.


    A cute little swirly soul, free of the slave feathers'' roots.


    She breaks into sobs the moment her glimmering eyes open. I move to try and comfort her, hoping to reassure her and¨C


    ¡°Get away from me!¡± She spits. ¡°How¡­ how could you!?!¡±


    I flinch back, keep palms up. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m giving you your freedom. Mean to help you find happiness in one of the Rifts we¡¯ve¨C¡±


    ¡°I was happy!¡± She shouts. ¡°Brethia is going to¡­ She¡¯s¡­ She won¡¯t take me back now! Or... Or she''ll be so angry that... that she''ll sell me off to be some pillow slave or...¡±


    She drops her head into her hands, sobs a bit more. I let her.


    ¡°Put them back!¡± She finally shouts after a few minutes. Glares up at me.


    ¡°Can¡¯t.¡± I give her my most charming and disarming smile as I shrug. ¡°It¡¯s done. You¡¯re free. And I¡¯m going to make sure you get such a better life than what she could give you. Okay?¡±


    She holds that anger for a few more heartbeats, then drops back into sobs.


    I rise. See that¡­ that I can¡¯t offer her more yet. Need to let her come to terms with this at her own pace. I don¡¯t close the door as I leave, a¡­ a little house rule.


    All guests can explore the manor at their leisure. All the dangerous rooms are locked away, but we like to help the newly free see how little we want to limit them before they get their new home.


    * * *


    The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    Tretion and Lenelope await me in our bedroom and study. Quietly talking. I don¡¯t try to catch their words as I plop down onto a random place on the carpet.


    A long silence stretches between us.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡± I sigh. ¡°What I did was stupid, and reckless and¡­ and I¡¯ve broken more promises to you both than I can even count.¡±


    ¡°Awnya¡­¡± Tretion murmurs.


    I¡¯m nearly shouting. ¡°It was SO selfish and¡­ and I can¡¯t do that. Not so long as I¡¯m the only one of us who can leave!¡±


    They move closer, but I can¡¯t help but stare down at my hands. Can¡¯t bear to look at my watcher¡¯s face after I risked all of our lives today.


    ¡°But the worst part is I can¡¯t say I wouldn¡¯t do it again if I could start the day over!¡±


    Tretion kneels, and wraps my trembling shoulders in her arms. I can¡¯t stop the sobs as her tendrils weave and play with my hair.


    ¡°Stop that.¡± I weakly protest. ¡°You¡­ you need to be mad at me for this!¡±


    ¡°No.¡± My lover squeezes me tighter, and Nelops soon kneels down to join in the hug.


    And for a long time they just¡­ hold on as the storm of sorrows drowns me.


    It¡¯s like¡­ like four years of pain just hits me all at once. Like that first night all over. When I laid shivering and shaking and weaving such a song of agony at the realization.


    Lyra is gone.


    Lyra is dead.


    I¡¯ll never¡­ Never get to save her.


    Less and less over the years as I¡¯ve gotten more busy¡­ But I still visit those Blighted Woods. My Songs have shifted from pleading wails at their edge to¡­ to gentle things.


    Melodies of the life I¡¯ve built with my watcher and how much we¡¯d adore for her to join us. How even now we weep at least once a week as her name touches our lips.


    But¡­ My two lovers'' arms and murmurs of affection carry me through this.


    ¡°She¡¯s so much like her.¡± I eventually sputter out.


    ¡°Nelops told me.¡± Tretion murmurs.


    ¡°I should have come to you first!¡± I slump deeper. ¡°We could have planned something out or¡­ but¡­ I guess¡­ It¡¯s not that I don¡¯t think you would have helped! I just¡­¡±


    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t be who you are if you hesitated to give her everything you could.¡± Lenelope murmurs.


    I reach up and squeeze on her the hands that still wrap around me. ¡°I¡­ I was able to get the feathers out.¡±


    Tretion pulls back at that. Fixes me with a hard look of focus as her tendrils wiggle about in worry.


    Every year, everyday, they get more alive. More like I remember them back in the Twilight court! And now her soul¡¯s grown its own little mimicking tendrils too!


    ¡°The blight song?¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± I raise up clean fingers. ¡°Small and precise, just like you said and I practiced. Just a¡­ a slow weaving starting in the middle. Blight spreads up so that it hits the outer skin at the same time as the deepest roots.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡± Tretion huffs, then smiles. Her head tendrils still tremble with a bit of worry though.


    ¡°You should have waited for us to watch over you.¡± Lenelope whispers.


    I wince. ¡°Yeah. Yeah. You¡¯re right. That could have gone really bad. Infected the manor and such.¡±


    Tretion shakes her head. ¡°Not¡­ Awnya, you¡¯d take care of the rot. I¡¯m worried what would happen to you if you failed. If¡­ if she¡¯d died like the others we tried to remove the feathers from.¡±


    My mouth goes very dry as... as I picture that. See Nufera... then another older face but... imagined dead and rotting and-


    ¡°Oh.¡±


    ¡°Yes. Oh. This is also why we stopped trying for a while. Why we agreed to always ask them first. Always. Let them choose what fate they prefer.¡± Tretion reaches out to hold my cheeks. ¡°I¡¯ll not have my lover bear the burden of watching some surrogate for Lyra die without us there to share that pain.¡±


    I sigh. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits! I just¡­ can¡¯t stop being a stupid goose today. Can I?¡±


    They both smile, pull me into another long hug. Murmuring comforts and refuting my words.


    ¡°Where were you thinking about trying to settle her?¡± Lenelope asks as we pull away.


    ¡°No Idea. She¡­¡± I sigh, ¡°She¡¯s going to hate me for years. She¡¯d sort of¡­ built up status and trust within her matron¡¯s house. Even¡­¡± I glare up at the ceiling. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits. She loves the cunt who grew her feathers.¡±


    ¡°Phretos is good with reluctants.¡± Lenelope nods thoughtfully. ¡°He¡¯s also more than happy to visit and stay here until they decide on a new home for her.¡±


    Tretion nods. ¡°And he¡¯ll be enough opposite from her mistress that she can more easily keep things from getting muddled in her heart. Even if she enjoys men¡¯s company in bed.¡±


    I pull back and lay on the carpet. ¡°Yeah. I¡­ I¡¯ll also help out if-¡±


    Tretion lays a hand on my hip, ¡°I think you should let Lenelope or Phretos handle her settling, okay?¡±


    I wince. ¡°I¡­ But¡­¡± The emotions are all a muddle, and even when tears form I can¡¯t really word my objections. Thankfully Tretion and Lenelope see my soul¡¯s wounds plain.


    ¡°She can¡¯t replace her.¡± Tretion whisper softly as she moves to cup my cheek. ¡°If things go¡­ poorly, it¡¯ll hurt. A lot. Could¡­¡±


    Her voice trails off, and I glance up to see the fear dance all the way from her eyes up into her tendrils little wriggles.


    Could crack my heart enough that... that I might just shatter. Crave an unmaking from the pain of two abused souls to a torment I could not save them from.


    I quickly sit up and take her hands. ¡°Honestly, Dreamers Tit¡¯s, Tretion she¡¯s¡­ I just¡­ feel some similarities. Nothing to worry over! But if you¡¯d like me to stay hands off I¡¯ll keep my distance! Only show up for Rift hopping things!¡±


    She lets out a long sigh and turns back to me. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    I take her cheek in my hand, run fingers up into her slowly relaxing tendrils. ¡°Of course! I¡¯ll never risk losing myself. I can¡¯t. Not when my lovers still need me!¡±


    <u>Eight years past the Dreadsong sung</u>


    ¡°Say that again.¡±


    The room goes still.


    I glance up from my place among Thendra¡¯s Reavers at the sudden quiet that settles over everyone. We¡¯re seated among the other warriors and non-scheming persons, so I didn¡¯t really catch what this newcomer said to upset the lady of the house. It¡¯s sort of¡­ at the center of this big circular room and with rumbling of dumb conversations and nonsense it was only the Duchess¡¯ words that ring out and bring such a silence to the room.


    I sigh and begin to turn back to my silent wordless melody hummed to my jellyfish, but¡­ apparently this newcomer is really stupid.


    The tall horned lady spreads her hands, ¡°I¡¯ve known you since before you claimed your Spark, I¡¯m allowed to call you whatever I wish.¡± She has skin of midnight red with a twisting pair of horns similar to the Lady who owns this house¡¯s, but with a similar green flame flickering in annoyance between them.


    If the silence was overbearing before, the room is drowned in it now.


    A figure who was seated at the head of the short table rises¡­ her eyes fixed on the tall horned lady.


    The Duchess Raska is about my size, clothed in sparse strips of black that emphasize her lithe form. Wearing tall boots with various little trinkets and trophies dangling on the sides. Skin a dark shade with winding thrumming blue veins that pulse in time with her heart, hair short and a crown of two tall black horns with various ridges. Between them a little spark of glimmering blue flame.


    And her soul¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits her Amwella is a huge thing that is nearly bursting from her small frame!!! A blue roaring flame that screams with a siren howling song that just¡­ entrances...


    ¡°Then say it again.¡± Raska purrs, placing a booted foot noisily on the edge of the table.


    The tall lady sighs. ¡°If I¡¯m to commit my own flame to this task. We will speak openly and honestly about who and what we are.¡±


    I glance about the room.


    Wh¡­ What did she call her?


    Why did she¡­


    Raska steps forward, and in a blaze of blue flame she¡¯s Riftwalked within arm¡¯s reach of the much taller lady. ¡°Speak it then, sweet sister. Speak your insult into my home again, among my allies and warriors, and let¡¯s see what happens.¡±


    Okay, so... honestly that sounded more like a simple Shift that a Riftwalk. A jerking of the Dream to pull yourself to a new location. A ton weaker than my own song but...


    The tall lady rolls her eyes, ¡°Even now you prove my point! No poise, no grace, just¡­ inelegant rage and a brute¡¯s focus.¡±


    Raska¡¯s blue flame is the only part of her that moves. But Dreamer¡¯s Tits does it writhe and flare in ways that just¡­ scream her rage at every word the taller speaks.


    ¡°Our mothers get it, our fellow sparks don¡¯t question it, even the horrid slaver god of Theradas demands respect in this. Even for their lowest enthralled souls.¡± Raska speaks very softly then, ¡°It speaks poorly of your intelligence that you not only struggle to understand this, but that you openly flaunt your stupidity on the matter.¡±


    The tall lady steps forward, looms over the Duchess. ¡°Is it stupidity? Or are the others just¡­ pitying my little brother¡¯s deluded soul instead of telling him that his flesh shaping will never change who he is?¡±


    Maybe it¡¯s Thendra¡¯s words that do it. Her off-handed comment that while we were guests at Raska¡¯s tables we were also sort of her¡­ sworn guardians. Promised to protect her home, Everflame, and dignity. Or¡­ maybe it¡¯s because I could sense the tall lady¡¯s soul flare up even before those words left her mouth. My two dozen Naranggas¡¯ soul pressure sense understanding on some level that every word out of that cruel mouth is an attempt to goad her little sister into violence.


    But¡­ None of those things matter to me right now as I see in this dreamer blighted woman all the humans and Fae that sought to reave me into old horrid shapes.


    Words an echo of the human¡¯s who birthed me and tried to kill me.


    Called me just a¡­ a stupid broken little bo¨C


    I tear a Rift open to clear the distance to her without needing to move through the line of seated souls between us. My perfected Reaver Riftwalking Screech is a such a quick and quiet thing after these years of forging it, and while my curse insists it¡¯s a song, none have mistaken it for one yet.


    Especially when it is growled by one without a tongue.


    I¡¯m slamming into the blighted cunt before anyone even knows I¡¯ve moved. A little ugly bolt of fury wrapped from head to toe in leather and chitin, only my eyes can be seen blazing from beneath my cowl. Naranggas erupt into sharpened soul death while talons rake and slice through flesh.


    But as we slam down into a table my well-honed instincts are screaming for me to move.


    Now!


    Another Riftwalk shifts me ten feet back just before that little flicker between her horns erupts into a raging inferno of dream scorching death to engulf the lady¡¯s entire body.


    She stands and glares murder at me through the flames as they shrink back to drift angrily between her horns, her own form unburned by the magic. Before she¡¯s even hissing whatever nonsense things command that little flame I¡¯m breathing another shifting melody through my tongueless mouth.


    Like a snake her little green flame bites out at the space I just was, swirls into a mass of snapping snarling blazes in sudden confusion at my disappearance.


    But I¡¯m already above and behind her, quietly melting all my two dozen or so Naranggas into a single large tendril about the size of a large tree''s truck.


    WHIP-CRACK SLAM!


    Her body bounces off the floor as I land, flaming soul a mushed mess that my enormous tail is more than happy to drink up as her corpse dies.


    It¡­. Oh!


    OH DREAMER''S TITS!!!


    I slump and hiss as the wretched green Amwella burns and sears on its way through my own core. Fall to one knee as¡­


    Reaver instincts are screaming my end?!?


    I glance up to see the dead woman¡¯s green flame roaring toward me, howling a song of anguish and fury at the little thing that killed and is eating its Mistress.


    Can¡¯t move, can¡¯t call up my Amwella to sing my escape. Just¡­. Weakly pull up my big heavy Naranggas and hope it can shield me for the blazing death that approaches.


    But in a hiss of more horrid words and a flash of blue flame, the green fire monster is consumed, and by the time I¡¯m peeking past my Naranggas it¡¯s already melted and joined with the Duchess Raska¡¯s Blue Everflame as it whirls and returns to pause between her horns.


    Her eyes are a blaze of Cerulean fire. Not like¡­ bright blue eyes either. Literally two twin flames that flicker and poke out a bit from her eye sockets.


    And they are both locked on me¡­


    The Reaver who just killed her sister.


    I fight to stand. Still reeling from¡­ from this Dreamer Blighted painful feeding and¡­ and trying to not look weak.


    Her huge grin shows a perfect set of midnight red fangs, but otherwise she just¡­ stares. Pins me in place with those blazing eyes.


    As the¡­ the weird green flame soul dissolves and burns into a more bearable pain to my Amwella to digest I focus on swishing and separating the big unwieldy Naranggas back into a couple dozen thin sharp ones.


    ¡°What¡¯s your name, girl?¡± Duchess Raska finally asks in a soft lilting rasp of a voice. It echoes throughout the deathly quiet chamber.


    I take a deep breath, and just¡­ shrug.


    That gets a head tilt of curiosity.


    ¡°Her name is Lyra, honored Duchess.¡± Comes the purr of my dark goddess. The room of people all turn their attention to the huge form that is still sitting at the end of the table. ¡°And she is a Reaver of the Thirteen.¡±


    The Duchess doesn¡¯t give her more than a slight body shift of turning to regard Thendra, just¡­ won¡¯t stop focusing on me. Eyes locked with mine. I can¡¯t look away as a warmth starts to gather in my chest.


    Begins to roll down my spine and¨C


    STOP IT!


    She¡¯s probably¡­ probably going to demand Thendra hurt you. She¡­ she might make you live without a tongue even longer for this!!!


    Or¡­ or let her feast on your soul and flesh and¨C


    I shiver and have to look away then as I feel my mind spiral at that. Naranggas whirl about in fearful¡­ but still kinda hornii energy.


    ¡°It¡¯s adorable how small she is!¡± The Duchess puts a finger to her lip. ¡°And Ukalon¡¯s tits and teeth is she a treat to watch slaughter.¡±


    I let my gaze wander back up to her¡­ a sort of¡­ hopeful flutter in my chest that I didn¡¯t just ruin everything by¡­ by¡­


    Why did I do that?


    The tall lady¡¯s words replay in my mind, and I¡­ I can¡¯t help but feel such satisfaction at my work. At killing her for¡­ for saying what?


    For calling the Duchess a boy.


    For implying she was anything but what she... she...


    WAIT.


    Was¡­ was she born wrong too?


    L¨C Like me!?!


    I¡¯m sort of¡­ breathing too fast. As¡­ as the thoughts overwhelm me. Even¡­ even bring some moisture to my eyes.


    There are others like me? Who¡­ who didn¡¯t feel right in their own skin and wanted to re-shape it!?!


    No¡­


    No, I''m being stupid!!!


    I misheard and just¨C


    ¡°Done.¡± Comes a call from my dark goddess.


    I jerk from my spiral and glance between her and Raska. My spiral of thoughts blotted out their words.


    ¡°Wonderful.¡± The duchess purrs, and begins to walk toward me. Eyes alight and even more focused on mine.


    Her gaze makes me both want to run away and stay very very still.


    She makes a point to step on and over her dead kin¡¯s corpse, and holds out a hand to me. Whispers, ¡°C¡¯mon. I¡¯ll have my new Kujdestar sit close by. Just in case other fools need eating.¡±


    Kujdestar?


    What... Dreamer Blighted¡­ What does that even mean!?!


    What did Thendra promise me to her as!?!


    I carefully raise my arm and allow the duchess to take my talon and lead me around the table to her seat. She plops down motions to a few cushions behind her, then turns back to the gathered table of her closest allies.


    Looking past I find jade eyes locked on mine. Thendra¡¯s face is an unreadable mask.


    I try to convey all the things.


    My worry and confusion and¡­ and apologies through my eyes and my link to her soul.


    And also wanting to still hide my¡­ My old wrong body. What I was. I know she feels something. I just¡­ hope she doesn¡¯t see that old shame.


    But soon she¡¯s turning to regard the duchess and return to whatever nonsense the odd collection of people at the table are talking about.


    The night slithers on, and eventually people start to leave. Bands of warriors from the lower areas rise and follow their matrons or lords out the main doors as the talk has died down to idle chatter about unimportant things.


    Eventually even my dark goddess rises, begins to move toward the door without even looking my way.


    A flicker and shift of a Riftwalk, and I¡¯m stepping into her path. My confusion and worry and¡­ and shame¡­ and¡­ and all the things laid bare for her on my soul.


    She quirks an eyebrow and¡­ and for a horrid second I fear she¡¯s just¡­ sold me away.


    Or is at least planning on leaving me in some cruel woman¡¯s care to¨C


    ¡°Grow back your tongue when you wish, My Lyra.¡± She purrs while placing a calming hand on my shoulder, ¡°But remember the other commands when among her court.¡±


    Do not reveal your Fae nature.


    I barely resist the impulse to just¡­ fall to my knees and wail my thanks and joy and¡­ and¡­ This had been one of the longest stretches of silence I¡¯d earned. Nearly 2 whole years after barely a month of words and songs and tasting my dark goddess¡¯ lips and skin before one of her newest Reavers had to ruin it by trying to ambush me in my sleep and drawing in this brood to try and¨C


    ¡°Go. Protect the Duchess and obey her commands.¡± Thendra interrupts my spiral.


    I nod, wipe to make sure no tears actually fell. But¡­ For how long?


    Thendra shrugs, understanding my thoughts clearly. ¡°Until our alliance ends.¡±


    Deep breaths. And I¡¯m slipping through a Rift to return to the Duchess¡¯ side. As I plop down she turns her head back. Eyes dancing with¡­ something.


    I¡¯m a little worried to consider what¡­

 Chapter 70: The Unforeseen Consequences

    <u>CW:</u>


    A BEG chappy. A mutilated corpse. shock.... oh but then sex happens! But it''s wiggles so not bad. A certain scary Duchess fleshchanging part way through to grow bits to fuck with and all that!


    Hand on the gateway, and the second it dissipates we¡¯re stumbling through.


    The only survivor of the three villages I¡¯d found razed and ruined at my side.


    ¡°TRETION! LENELOPE!!!¡± I¡¯m shouting as I drag off my mask and continue to weave a song of healing and painless slumber for the once fluffy form I¡¯m basically dragging forward.


    Now just¡­ flayed nonsense. No eyes, no tongue, just¡­ barely any skin left¡­


    ¡°Please¡­¡± I growl through the song as I lay them on the soft carpets. ¡°C¡¯mon¡­ don¡¯t¡­ Don¡¯t die on me!¡±


    They both come rushing out of side passages alongside a few guests of the manner as I lean over the wounded person. Singing through angry tears the most complex healing songs I know aside from my own.


    Something that takes so much soulfire but¡­ but should ensure that they survive.


    A few tortuous moments spent on the razor''s edge but then¡­


    Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits they¡­ they''re going to make it!


    I pull back from the now gasping victim, song drifting from a symphony of healing to a¡­ something.


    I think a whistling tune or¡­ I¡¯m not sure¡­


    I sit there for a while, just¡­ so tired and content to empty my head of anything and everything as my watcher and Nelops bustle about and¡­


    Someone¡¯s beside me¡­ whispering¡­


    No she¡¯s shouting?


    ¡°Awnya!¡±


    Eyes drift over, find my cute floopy eared lover.


    Nelops?


    ¡°Stop your song!¡± She has my cheeks in her hands. ¡°Your soul needs to rest!¡±


    But¡­ Wait I¡­


    Teeth click shut, song ends. And suddenly a wave of weariness washes over me.


    ¡°Wh¨C¡±


    Then our Watcher is there, mug in hand. They work together to bring it to my lips. Have me take a sip of the cool water.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. It¡¯s okay!¡± Nelops coos.


    ¡°You¡¯re dealing with a spot of shock, love.¡± Tretion murmurs as I pull away from the mug. ¡°It¡¯s alright. Deep breaths, that¡¯s it. Breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeath.¡±


    I obey. But¡­ her words just¡­ they don¡¯t make sense.


    ¡°What? Why would¡­ But I¡¯m barely scratched!¡± I huff out.


    ¡°Your song gave us an idea of what you found in the villages.¡± Nelops murmurs, sort of¡­ offers to pull me into a hug.


    Burnt and horrid rotting flesh smell violates my nose again, eyes begin to¡­ to twitch as images and memories of¡­ of the bodies. Of the homes torn apart and their former owners displayed about in grim¨C


    Next thing I know I¡¯m falling into her arms. Sobbing and growling and hissing in sadness and anger.


    Some¡­ some of the bodies just¡­ didn¡¯t mean anything to me at the time. Just¡­ meat without a name. But others... Others had their faces untouched.


    Displayed their corpses in a mocking horrid sort of mockery.


    This goes on a for while. And eventually I realize the survivor is gone and we¡¯re just¡­ sitting in the main area. Guests have pulled back to their rooms to give me the space to wail my sorrows.


    ¡°Is¡­ will they¡­?¡±


    ¡°You did great Awnya!¡± Tretion affirms. ¡°They¡¯re going to live!¡±


    ¡°Need to¡­ to warn the others¡­¡± I croak. ¡°Start bringing them here before¡­ before they can get attacked too.¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Tretion wraps me tighter.


    They don¡¯t let me rise.


    ¡°B¨C But¡­¡±


    ¡°First promise.¡± Nelops whispers. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry Awnya, but¡­ no. You''re weak and tired and¡­ and we can¡¯t risk you.¡±


    I spit fury and hiss through more sobs but¡­ but they¡¯re right! I almost¡­ If that ambush in the last rift had hit just a bit later, or¡­ or if they caught me when I was distracted¡­


    Everything I love would be lost.


    So through furious tears I let my lovers drag me into rest and recovery¡­ all while quietly planning how to make sure this never happens again.


    Either one of the three blighted gods, or¡­ or someone very near their power and influence had tracked my efforts and¡­ and¡­ Tortured and slaughtered a number of towns set to bursting with the souls we¡¯d freed.


    But It''s in the quiet stillness of both my lovers'' fast asleep that I face the stupid selfish thought I¡¯d been avoiding.


    Nufera had been settled in that first village.


    I¡­ I failed again. Left someone and¡­ and I should have¡­


    Of course my lovers hear my sobbing and wake up. Pull me close and¡­ and when I whisper her name amidst wailing weeping nonsense apologies to the woman I treated her as a surrogate for, they join in my grief.


    *    *    *


    Raska slams me into one of the huge stone bedposts, pins my hands above my head, and shoves her tongue past my lips as we kiss.


    It¡¯s¡­ oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits I don¡¯t even care that it tastes of ash and blood! I end up fighting to not just¡­ suckle on the big thing as it fills my mouth and plays with my own freshly regrown tongue. I¡¯d learned well over the past years how to rumble melodies beneath my breath, making it seem only a low growling sound and nothing like a song. It took the rest of the evening and well into the night to quietly regrow my tongue, and now I just¡­ can¡¯t help but savor everything now that It¡¯s back!


    Before I¡¯d only really enjoyed sweet things, maybe even a bit of spice. But now? Everything¡¯s amazing to taste! Song, scent and rank flavors all!


    And right now that¡¯s this Duchess lips and tongue that she¡¯s kind of choking me with. But Raska pulls free just as I start to get a bit dizzy, steps back to grin at me. ¡°Oh, fuck me, do you taste so fucking good!¡±


    She adjusts so that only one hand is pinning my wrists, drags weirdly sharp stone tipped fingers down my still clothed arm.


    I¡­ I didn¡¯t know what to expect from Raska. Part of me worried she¡¯d act like one of Thendra¡¯s Reavers and just¡­ pounce. Tackle me to the ground and take whatever she wants. She¡¯s terrifying and oaths aside I don¡¯t for a second believe I could fight her.


    Her soul is¡­ it burns hotter than her sister¡¯s did! Especially now that she¡¯s consumed whatever that green flame was. And as she presses close I worry if my Naranggas would just¡­ melt if I tried to touch or feed.


    And¡­ and I don¡¯t know if the promises between Thendra and her would protect me¡­


    But¡­ Nope!


    As the celebration ended she simply turned to me. With a hungry smirk she just¡­ asked.


    ¡°You wanna fuck?¡±


    It took me a few seconds to¡­ to understand the question.


    That¡­ that she is just¡­ asking me?


    Not forcing or¡­ any of that?


    Her eyes never left mine as she overwhelmed me with a cocky grin and offered hand. I took it and¡­ and off she pulled me.


    My soul is wailing in worry at the heat of hers while my own Naranggas flit around the edges of her blazing core. Wanting to reach out, to touch and squeeze and¡­ and maybe even take a little bite if she¡¯ll calm its raging heat and let me?


    She¡¯s pulled back, eyes only just now dancing over my body in a sort of annoyed contemplation as her hands drift away.


    A whisper of painfully soft rasping commands, and the little blue flame that loves to hover between her horns shoots toward me. I¡¯m too hornii and still recovering my breath as the little thing dances all about my form in a hissing spinning arc of sparking light, and as it flits back to hover happily in its place, I feel my clothes loosen.


    Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.


    Like¡­ a lot.


    By the time I¡¯m adjusting and looking down, my sturdy leather clothes and chitin plates are falling away in sizzling strips, leaving only a few bits about my shoulders and hood in place. Even¡­ oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits even my underthings and belts are sliced perfectly and completely to drop to the cold stone floor.


    I glance up to find her just¡­ beaming as the final pieces just fall away.


    ¡°Where in the rifts have you been hiding all my life!?!¡± She coos, rolling eyes over my body and soul.


    I blush at like¡­ all of that. Can¡¯t help by look away and sort of¡­ grasp at my arm with a trembling talon.


    Talking is¡­ weird now.


    Years with only disparate periods with my tongue have accustomed me to silence.


    And¡­ and honestly why would I ever want to do anything but hiss at all the horrid people Thendra or Bulderii are probably about to have me kill and eat? Especially when I can just¡­ feel things directly at my dark goddess through the soul shard she embedded in me and know that she¡¯ll understand exactly what I mean!?!


    The thought stutters me a bit.


    I¡­ I know she won¡¯t mind this. Right?


    Will she be angry?


    Then Raska is stepping close, tilting her head and whispering¡­ ¡°This body is just¡­ too perfect and inspired to be a product of birthing nonsense. Who shaped it for you?¡±


    Her soft tone jerks me from my thoughts, turns my eyes back to her. Wh¨C What? She¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits I¡¯m nothing compared to her amazing form! Just¡­ Fae spun inspiration woven by some stupid girl trying to make a body to fit her soul.


    I manage a very quiet and stammering. ¡°I¨C I did.¡±


    Her grin gets so much bigger at that and I can almost feel her own desires double at the words. ¡°Ukalon¡¯s Tits and Teeth, Really?¡±


    I nod, can¡¯t help but smile kinda dumbly and add before I can wonder if it¡¯s a good idea. ¡°Burned the old. B¨C Buried ashes.¡±


    I don''t even have time to consider if I¡¯ve shared too much as Raska tilts her head and reaches out a hand to lightly brush my bare hip. Sending shivers and brumbles all across me.


    ¡°That¡¯s the sexiest thing anyone¡¯s told me all night.¡± She purrs. ¡°You just¡­ Can¡¯t stop giving me more reasons to fuck you silly. Can you?¡±


    I blubber out some sounds, confused and aroused and¡­ and wondering if she¡¯s wondering at why I¡­


    If maybe¡­


    Does she know I¡¯m like her?


    Is she guessing at it?


    She smirks, settles both hands around my hips, and pulls me into a much slower kiss than before. More lips and soft enticing dances that just¡­ Set me into an odd place of enjoying these touches but also craving darker and more brutal affections.


    I purr into her mouth, a soft moan pleading for us to just¡­ move to the big soft bed behind me! She giggles into the kiss, and pulls me close before basically tossing me into the thick soft blankets.


    I expect her to be on me within a few seconds but¡­ no. She moves up to loom over me while pulling off her own straps and various bits of clothing. All while keeping those blazing blue eyes rolling over my body and soul.


    I don¡¯t know what to do other than just¡­ stare at her shimmering pale skin. At a perfect body that¡­ she chose?


    Or¡­ or that she shaped?


    ¡°You like what you see?¡± She gestures down at herself.


    I nod then feel my brow furrow in confusion at these new thoughts.


    Huh. No¡­ this isn¡¯t jealousy. Not¡­ not like I felt before my change or when I walked the Fae courts with another. A horrid feeling that burned at the euphoria of having a body that I worked so hard to sing and weave.


    This is just¡­ a thrumming¡­ something. Comfortable and filled with anticipation.


    But before I can ask she kneels down, face only a few inches away from mine. ¡°You want to show me how much you like it?¡±


    Thoughts stutter out, and I can only give her a nod.


    ¡°Good. Now¡­ let¡¯s see how good you are with that tongue!¡±


    Before I can process her plans she¡¯s pushed my head down into the sheets, and straddles my face. Hips and perfect cunt hovering just above my lips. I only pause for a second before I lean up to take her into my mouth.


    Sweet heat and fire and¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits the ashen flavor to her skin is still so intoxicating!


    One of her hands moves to grip and hold my hair, pulling me closer as she hums little pleased encouragement while her other is dancing over my breasts and stomach. My eyes drift closed. Amwella sight drifts into focus as I feel my own soul begin to purr and wriggle about in tune with the blazing blue fury above it.


    It¡¯s¡­ oh Dreamer¡¯s Fucking Tits how is this so amazing? I¡¯ve never felt my Amwella just¡­ so easily harmonize with anyones!


    Not¡­ not since¡­


    ¡°Fucking¡­ That¡¯s it.¡± She purrs, pulling my thoughts back to this wonderful fucking as fingers dig and rake through my hair. ¡°Just¡­ too perfect.¡±


    I don¡¯t pause but¡­ I do slow for a second. Her words melting something deep inside I didn¡¯t know had hardened and started to die.


    Her other hand is between my legs now, tracing patterns just at the edges of my sensitive flesh. Causing me to squirm and wriggle a bit.


    ¡°You are precious.¡± She hums, relaxing her hips and legs to sink deeper into my mouth¡¯s workings. ¡°I¡¯m not even at the fun part and you¡¯re already melting.¡±


    I tremble at her words, feel my hips buck and try to chase her fingers as they dance back from what would have been her first grazing of my clit.


    ¡°So sensitive!¡± She cackles, then caresses slow circles around my navel. ¡°Tell you what, finish taking a drink of my fire and I¡¯ll return the favor.¡±


    A rolling purr escapes me before I can consider it, a¡­ a furious annoyed challenge, and then I¡¯m increasing my speed and pressure two fold. Gripping her hips and legs to pull myself as deep as possible. Working tongue and lips in and out and all around this strange intoxicating woman¡¯s clit and cunt while her hips roll and twist. Each of my big licking motions punctuated by her own soft moans of pleasure.


    I¡­ I feel her climax coming. Want to reach up and¡­ and kiss her with my own soul. But¡­ but it¡¯s too Dreamer Blighted hot!!!


    A few Naranggas try to get close, but her core¡¯s heat chases them off. I¡¯m almost whimpering in frustration as I feel her hips buck as the orgasm rocks through her.


    But then she¡¯s smirking down at me, and¡­ and I get to watch as little droplets of molten soulfire drip down to strike my Amwella as she enjoys the pleasure I¡¯ve given her. As they hit there is a¡­ a sizzling crackling sound before I am shuddering in the euphoric aftershock of a soul feast.


    Each hit causes me to jerk and twist and moan at the flash of pleasure. Every drop is the equivalent of a full sentient soul. More filling than even the Fae souls I¡¯ve devoured!


    I¡¯m a shuddering, quivering mess before I even notice that Raska has pulled her hips away and is now adjusting to lay atop me. Our breasts mushed together while her fingers continue to dance over me.


    ¡°Hm¡­¡± She murmurs, teeth and tongue as my chin. Slowly licking and working to clean my face of any mess left behind. ¡°Been a while since I met a soul that could handle more than a single drop of me.¡±


    ¡°Muh?¡± Is about the only little sound I can reply to her with as a twinge of worry hits. If¡­ if this breaks Thendra¡¯s command. If this¡¯ll let Raska know that I¡¯m Fae¡­


    Her hand slows, stops on my thigh just next to my cunt, and her grin turns my worries to mush. ¡°But now it¡¯s your turn, I¡¯d love to nibble at your wonderfully cute soul tails.¡±


    A flash of a dead lover¡¯s smile when I told her my Naranggas weren¡¯t cute!


    Tretion laughs, ¡°Everything about you is cute.¡±


    I quickly but carefully let my fingers slide up her sides, around her arms, and rest on her neck. Pull her into another long kiss to bury the painful memory. After a few heartbeats she laughs again, pulls back.


    Then her other hand is moving, caressing a too soft pattern into my thigh. Only slowly moving up and up and¡­


    ¡°Oh I¡¯m going to drag such adorable little sounds out of you tonight.¡± She whispers, nibbling at my lips.


    I can¡¯t help but let out a huff of annoyance as Her Amwella burns hot just over mine, scorches my soul with wondrous heat that¡­ that I can¡¯t help but want to reach up and snuggle to! But¡­ but every time I get too close the blaze drives me away!


    ¡°Let me hear you beg for it.¡± She purrs.


    I¡­ I don¡¯t know why I¡¯m suddenly like¡­ shy about this! Thendra gets more out of me in our more tame nights¡­ has me wordlessly screaming when she¡¯s really passionate.


    ¡°Lyraaaa.¡± Raska fingers sort of¡­ pause around my cunt. Like a spider with each leg poised just at the edges. ¡°C¡¯mon. Let me hear that beautiful voice you wove for yourself.¡±


    That¡­ cracks something. Something inside I didn¡¯t know was¡­ was¡­


    ¡°Pl¨C Please.¡± I can barely whisper. ¡°D¨C Don¡¯t stop.¡±


    Her eyes flare up in delight as her fingers slowly begin to slide down to begin teasing.


    ¡°Good girl!¡± She coos, nips and nibbles at my neck and collarbone. ¡°But not nearly enough.¡±


    Then she¡¯s¡­ oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits I melt into a puddle of nonsense as her fingers dance slow amazing patterns between my legs while her teeth and long deft tongue move down to bite and caress my breasts.


    Before I know it I¡¯m giving her everything she asks for¡­ and probably more. Little broken whimpers and moans and pleas for her to¡­ to go faster.


    Harder!


    PLEASE!


    My own voice is¡­ Dreamers Blighted cunt it¡¯s¡­ is that mine?


    It¡­ It kinda makes my everything burn hotter to hear it! Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t help but feel my own hornii madness deepen with every sound that escapes me. Soon my body is shaking and bubbling into my first climax, and I get to stare in dizzy curiosity as Raska¡¯s soul dips down to¡­


    A flash of pleasure and flame and¡­ It hurts but¡­ nothing like Thendra¡¯s feedings! All roaring heat that melts at my core before letting Raska slurp up the weeping mess.


    As she goes to pull away I wrap Naranggas around her Amwella, ignoring the sizzling pops, and hold her closer. Not¡­ not wanting to lose the harmony and wonder of a soul that so easily thrums in tune with mine! She sort of¡­ groans and I think she¡¯s sunk teeth into the nipple she was teasing.


    Basking in this blazing Amwella dance that I know is flooding her with pleasure.


    As our breath slows, Raska drags herself up to loom over me. Her face suddenly... kinda blank? No that''s... huh. More serious.


    "Hey, Lyra..." She murmurs after a second, eyes locked on mine. "Question! And if the answer is no then that''s fine. No pressure."


    "Muh?" Is all I can get out easily.


    "Do you mind if I fleshchange a bit? I kinda wanna grow my gerlcock back to fuck you with."


    I feel my eyes go a bit wide as... as I remember how... when my dark goddess told me that... that Fae weren''t the only ones to know how to shift their forms to their spirit''s desires. And... oh Dreamer''s Tits how good it felt when she... um...


    I nod furiously. "Oke."


    Then her confident smirk is back and she''s hissing a few low incantations. Things that hurt my ears and kinda make me wibble in worry.


    But then that cute little flame between her horns sparks and zoops around her head and... and into her mouth!?! She never stops growling as I get to literally watch a bit of ambient glow from somewhere deep beneath her skin rolls down through her. Down and down, then between her legs and... and she''s hissing now. The words almost... almost not even seeming to come from her as flesh twists and turns and... and then she grows exactly what she said she would.


    It''s... huh it''s kinda both silly and intimidating!


    Bigger than I''m guessing is usual. With ridges and little bumps. Pretty little veins of blue that seem to pulse a bit down it''s length.


    She coughs, then that little blue flame zips from between her lips and resettle amidst her twin horns.


    "There we go, quick as death." Then she''s gripping my thigh and an ankle, and tilting her head in question as she lays her newly grown member flat on the skin just above my own cunt. "This still okay?"


    I nod, only just now pulling my eyes back up to meet hers. Bite my lip.


    That... oh Dreamer''s Tits that sets her off. Without looking down she slides herself down and across my clit, the sudden sensation causing me to squirm against her very solid hold of me. Then she''s pressing the tip against me, like... like she''s about to-


    But then she uses our leftover juices to slip it up and over my clit again! Causes me to buck gently and let out a little moan.


    "Oh... you want something girl?" She cackles, drawing it back down to press just into my second lips.


    "Mhm." I murmur while trying to wriggle closer. But... but she just lazily pulls back.


    "If you want me to do something, you''re going to have to ask really nice." She smirks, eyes dancing and flame sparking as I feel her press just a little bit more into me.


    I huff and slump back into the sheets a bit, squeeze eyes shut and... and focus on... on what I want and... and getting my tongue to work.


    "Pl- Please." I manage.


    "Pleeeeeease..." She whispers, sliding up and across me again. "What?"


    "F- fuck. Me." I force out through another desperate wiggle.


    "Ha. Good girl." She praises, then shoves herself into me without pause. Immediately going deep and causing me to yelp. Not in pain but... but surprise!!!


    A thrumming of wonderful warmth seems to... to pulse and fill me! Like... like a bit of her soul is wrapped deep within that extension of herself.


    Out slowly, so much so that I can''t help but try and scoot after her. Then back in, hard and fast. Slamming her hips into mind and causing a moan mixed with a yelp to jump from my lips.


    Again, but faster. And faster...


    At some point she releases my legs to curl down and over. Sinking teeth into my neck as she pins my arms above me. My own legs wrapped tight around her, pulling her harder and deeper as I moan and growl and whimper uncontrollably.


    To compare this to Thendra''s work is stupid. She is a storm of nonsense that drowns me when she shifts. Because this? Raska''s work? It''s a thrumming of force and flame and fury. The sensation of being like... Dreamer''s Tits I don''t know!!! Filled with a blazing core of fire that seems to want nothing more than to sear my insides.


    But like... okay there is pain but it''s so small and faded very fast. Too fast, honestly. But I can''t really complain.


    Because despite her seemingly directionless motions, she is hitting all the right spots, and biting down in the perfect moments to melt all my thoughts into a puddle. Then I can feel it. A... a bubbling up from within both our souls. Twin climaxes rising up and up and. Shoving faster, plunging deeper, biting hard and not letting go as we erupt together. Amwella cores slamming together as a wash of deep searing nonsense explodes from her into me. Raska''s flame melting and licking mine while Naranggas wrap about her core and tear off a few good gobbles.


    "Fuuuuck." She hisses through the teeth that bite so hard I can feel the blood dribble. "Okay... fuck me that... Just... Are you...?"


    The taste of my own vile blood doesn''t even bother me as I wriggle talons free to reach down and pull her into a kiss. After that... She growls and drags me through three more feedings, and by the end my Amwella is burned and a bit bloody, a few Naranggas look¡­ pretty shriveled. But her flame¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits can I just¡­ not get enough of it!


    At some point I rolled us and took the top. Now lay across her body. Lips firmly wrapped around hers in a sort of¡­ lazy and exhausted kiss. Our souls still thrum and dance in harmony, but¡­ careful to keep enough space between so as to not touch and burn my Amwella any more.


    Her fingers dance through my short-cropped hair as I slump and fall into her. Just¡­ just enjoying the feeling of being exhausted beside¡­


    Besides¡­ What? What is this feeling? Why¡­ Why do I feel so comfortable with this scary duchess? I¡¯m just¡­ loaned flesh she wanted to have a taste of. A pretty little reaver who caught her eye.


    She¡¯ll forget about me in the morning.


    ¡°Sooo¡­ I never got to ask.¡± She whispers. ¡°Why did you slaughter my cunt of a sister?¡±


    Warmth that still bubbles through my chest and legs and head cools as if I''m drowning in a sudden storm. She¡¯s¡­ she¡¯s going to hate me or¡­ or be really upset and¡­


    But¡­ but isn''t she like me? Or... Did I misunderstand what her sister was saying?


    ¡°I think the answer is pretty obvious¡­ buuuut.¡± I can feel Raska¡¯s blazing eyes staring down her body at me. ¡°I want to make sure.¡±


    I whisper softly, voice shaking. ¡°I¡­¡±


    But¡­ no other words follow. And we lay in silence for a few tense moments.


    ¡°Is it because it felt like she was talking to you? Or¡­ you felt her insults could have easily been turned your way?¡±


    I freeze, only offering the smallest of nods.


    ¡°Ha!¡± She giggles, ¡°Knew it. Our kind are just¡­ too good at fucking.¡±


    That sputters everything out. Thoughts that were a whirl of terror and fear just¡­ stop.


    Our kind?


    N¨C Not Fae.


    Not¡­ girls in general.


    Not¡­ a Reaver or¡­


    I twist to look up at Raska, can¡¯t really move far¡­ She''s kinda still holding me in place with one arm around my shoulders and back and the other playing with my hair.


    She rolls her blazing eyes performatively. ¡°C¡¯mon, you can¡¯t tell me some basic bitch can match what I just did to you.¡±


    I just¡­ stare. So used to having my soul read that for a dozen heartbeats I don¡¯t think to open my mouth and ask. ¡°Our?¡±


    So hard to form the words.


    She tilts her head. ¡°Yeah. Changelings, sex and flesh shifters, transgender girls¡­ probably a dozen other worse words to describe us.¡±


    I just¡­ blink. So confused.


    ¡°Ukalon¡¯s twisted cunt you¡­ have you never met someone like you?¡± Her eyebrows shoot up, intense gaze suddenly all surprise.


    Shaking my head, I can¡¯t help but look away in a bit of embarrassment. Struggle to form thoughts into words. ¡°Others are¡­ B¨C Born wrong too?¡±


    The hand that was embedded in my hair twists down to touch my cheek. ¡°You thought you were just like¡­ uniquely unlucky?¡±


    I huff as she pulls my face back up to meet her gaze. Can only give her a little nod.


    ¡°Wow. That¡­ huh. That¡¯s horrible.¡±


    I wince, look away again.


    ¡°Well fuck that!¡± She laughs and hugs me close. ¡°I was expecting to just¡­ keep you to myself these next few months. But now I have to get you mingled with my girls!¡±


    I nearly squeak in such sudden surprise and terror and fluttering hope at¡­ at¡­ meeting¡­


    ¡°The cunts who cracked me, helped me figure out the flesh changing magic to get my body shifting in all the right places.¡± She grins. ¡°Oh¡­ They are going to adore you. Gobble you right up!¡±


    I stammer out a few nonsense sounds of objection and worry.


    ¡°Where I go, my Kujdestar goes.¡± She drags me closer, nibbles on my nose before I can react. ¡°And we¡¯re going to be pretty bored until my outriders get things set up over the next few months for our big attack otherwise. So I mean to spend that time with people who saw who I was before even I did.¡±


    I¡¯m just¡­ too exhausted and filled with good sex afterglows to argue. Almost¡­ almost convinced this is all an elaborate dream. And under Raska¡¯s intoxicating caresses through my short hair I can¡¯t help but drift away into sleepy oblivion.

 Chapter 71: Found Families and Painful Melodies

    <u>CW:</u>


    Panic attacks. wiggly trans gerls. woops. much sad songs in the middle with Awnya POV. then a lil smexy things at the end, but emotions interrupt that nonsense!


    ¡°Muh?¡± I mutter blearily as I sit up in the bed, staring at Raska as she wraps a new pretty outfit of twisting nonsense around her chest and hips. A sort of¡­ very revealing skirt and underthing with a top that hangs to cover only one shoulder and a single breast.


    ¡°I¡¯m taking us to meet those people I told you about.¡± She holds out a hand. ¡°They¡¯re all like us. Girls who reshaped themselves from old nonsense into shapes that fit them.¡±


    I take a second to wipe my eyes as I hold out a talon, murmuring tired nothings as¨C


    A spark, and flash, and she¡¯s dragging me through a Riftwalk.


    I sort of¡­ stumble into a well lit and warm space. Tiled floor, windows that overlook an ocean of deep bluish green hues and a city at its edge, a big soft looking bed and a couple desks and dressers. Heavy with a sweet scent and occupied with¡­ with¡­


    Three women besides Raska and myself. Each more perfect than the last.


    The first is a sort of¡­ four armed bug lady with purple chitin over their skin and three sets of flat reddish eyes on a head tipped with antennae and a scruff of pale hair. More soft pale fur peeks out around her hips and chest. A gown of shimmering dark jade wraps about her frame.


    The second is smaller than me, but¡­ not childish. Long pointed ears, longer red hair and sun-kissed blue skin covered with little splotches of purple. She¡¯s only wearing a long shirt that seems way too big for her.


    The last is¡­ the oddest. Her entire body is translucent green with little sparkling bits throughout. Almost¡­ no, not almost, very much like she¡¯s made of water or¡­ or something more¡­ gooey? Slime seems like a mean word to describe her perfect form. The only thing different is a pear of twinkling black orbs that serve as eyes.


    ¡°Hey cunts!¡± Raska chimes happily as she helps stabilize me.


    The group turns to regard her, eyes flit to me¡­ almost in worry. But then shine in¡­ in¡­


    Right.


    I am still naked.


    ¡°Hey Raska!¡± Chimes the bug lady.


    ¡°Hia!¡± Chirps the little one.


    The gooey lady just¡­ looks between us before adding in a soft almost melodic tone. ¡°Is your busy week already over? And who is¡­ this?¡±


    I glance away, unable to¡­ like¡­ form words. New tongue heavy and refusing to move as my heart thunders.


    ¡°It is!¡± Raska sort of, steps to the side and motions at my everything. ¡°This is Lyra! My new Kujdestar.¡±


    There is a long pause as I feel my cheeks flush red.


    ¡°Oh!¡± The bug lady exclaims. ¡°Okay. I see how she¡­ yeah okay. Your soul tails are wild and really neat!¡±


    ¡°And you brought her here¡­ why?¡± The gooey one murmurs, but¡­ not unkindly. Almost in apology to me?


    ¡°Would she like a shirt or¡­ like¡­ any clothes?¡± The little one giggles.


    Raska cackles, ¡°Naw, she prefers to go around in as little coverings as possible.¡±


    I try to turn a glare on the duchess, but her teasing smirk turns it into a sort of blubbering scowl.


    I just¡­ can¡¯t¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits! Raska had me moaning and begging really loudly last night. Why can¡¯t I talk now!?!


    ¡°Raska¡­¡± The gooey lady sighs, and I turn to see her moving over to a dresser, reaching in to fuss about. Eventually pulls out a simple green gown. ¡°She just¡­ pulled you out of bed didn¡¯t she?¡±


    I sigh, nod, and take the offered clothing.


    ¡°Why did you think to just¡­ drop in on us, Raska?¡± The gooey lady asks, voice kinda¡­ clipped and annoyed. ¡°A private visit is one thing, but for a social call we¡¯d all prefer you come in the front door and schedule things. You know one of us is always happy to accommodate you.¡±


    ¡°Oh no this is totally a private thing!¡± Raska steps forward, eyes flickering with delight, ¡°Sex is like¡­ only on the menu if people want that. I just promised to introduce Lyra to you all.¡±


    As I pull the clothing on the previous night''s promises flood back. How¡­ how she wanted me to meet more people like us. Like¡­


    ¡°Why¡¯s that?¡± The smaller one tilts her head.


    ¡°Like me?¡± I manage to whisper softly, eyes darting up to just¡­ take them all in again. Eyes suddenly a bit wet for some reason.


    Raska hears me, reaches back to take up a talon. ¡°She¡¯s not met anyone like her. Ever. Told me she thought she was alone. The only girl born in the wrong body.¡±


    All their eyes go wide at that. A pause, then the horrid fear and terror that Raska would just¡­ tell them. That¡­ that this was a mistake.


    I need to run.


    Hide.


    Find Thendra and¨C


    ¡°Oh¡­ oh sweetie!¡± And it seems the bug lady has little wings and is suddenly buzzing across the room to us. Touches my elbow gently. ¡°That¡­ I can actually very much understand how horrid that is!¡±


    I freeze. Terror waring with¡­ with something else. A thrumming that ripples through my Amwella and every one of my wriggling Naranggas.


    ¡°I¡­¡± I manage to get my tongue to say, dissolve into stammering nonsense. ¡°I don¡¯t¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± She pulls up my other talon, the one where my jellyfish sleep. ¡°You¡¯re safe here. We¡¯re all like you.¡±


    I look around.


    Old¡­ old panic at shadows and shouting and¡­ how everyone who told me they accepted this is either dead or¡­ or¡­ hates me now.


    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.


    Waking Nightmares rouse from deep within. A thing returning that my dark goddess should have freed me from all those years ago.


    ¡°Raska¡­¡± The gooey lady murmurs. ¡°This might not be the best way to¡­¡±


    The duchess is saying something, but I just¡­ can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t focus on it. Eyes squeeze shut, try to¡­ to pull my mind from the muck of fear at¡­ at¡­


    All others will scorn and ravage you.


    ¡°Hey, Hey Lyra?¡±


    Naranggas reach out, a reflex to find either the long-gone soul of steady cold or... or a storm to smother this ocean of pain.


    But all they find is something hot and horrible and hateful and furious that¡­


    ¡°Ukalon¡¯s tits and teeth, Raska you idiot!¡±


    A few more shouts, My soul tendrils whirl about in fury and terror. Trying to¡­ to ward off the hateful flames. Then they hit something¡­ odd? Something¡­


    Cold.


    Wonderfully cold.


    Before I can realize what¡¯s happening my Naranggas snap out, hungry to consume the glacial soul that I¡¯ve not felt for over eight years.


    A soul of soft melting wonder that¨C


    I¡¯m screaming and sobbing as I stumble backwards. Terror and desire and such pain flooding my mind as I struggle to pull back the nearly two dozen tendrils of soul stealing death.


    No!


    Stop!


    Can¡¯t kill her again.


    Please NO!!!


    STOP!!!


    But¡­ the cold soul just¡­ takes them. Pulls my tendrils close and drags herself up to my core. Envelopes my flesh and binds my talons.


    Then my eyes snap open.


    Two of the three women are on the far side of the room with Raska, staring my way in pain and worry. While the third. The gooey lady¡­ She¡¯s wrapped my body and a good chunk of the Naranggas in a big messy hug. Her body this liquid mass that so easily takes me into itself.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. It¡¯s okay.¡± She¡¯s cooing softly as her¡­ kinda everything just¡­ wraps and slurps about me. ¡°You¡¯re safe. Bite and cut and¡­ knick at me all you need to, you can¡¯t hurt me Lyra.¡±


    But¡­ my watcher¡¯s voice is all I hear.


    My Tretion.


    My Bound Beloved.


    Back in the dream to hold and love me for just a little while more. Cold soul nuzzled close while my mind dips into the muck of guilt and shame.


    And for the next hour I am sobbing into this weird cold lady¡¯s melty body while she keeps my Naranggas from hurting anyone, including herself.


    * * *


    I¡­ I can¡¯t do this anymore.


    I sit on the edge of the Dead Dreamer¡¯s Wood just¡­ staring into the trees where my lover swims free.


    It¡¯s not fair to Tretion, to me¡­ and not Lyra.


    Tears roll down my cheeks as I hum this final melody for that amazing and beautiful Fae girl who either can¡¯t or won¡¯t return to me.


    A song of love and peace and¡­ and hope. Hope that she¡¯s finally found happiness. That¡­ that if she truly has swam beyond the borders on the other side of the Rot and Ruin that she¨C


    My promise to Yuna stops me from singing more. From trying to share the horrible and wonderful truth out into the sea.


    So I weave into it tales of Tretion and Nelops. Of how Lyra inspired us all and led us into giving so much of ourselves to each other and¡­ and to thousands of now freed souls.


    And that¡­ that if she ever returns to the Dream we¡¯ll be waiting.


    That all she has to do is return home, and she will be smothered in love everlasting.


    And then I¡­ I sing my sorrows to her.


    All my mistakes.


    All the things I wish I could have done differently.


    All my desperate love to just¡­ feel her in my arms again. To give her my everything, for always and forever until the Dream itself cracks and fades¡­


    But¡­ all too soon. It¡¯s time for me to leave.


    To get up and move on.


    Return to the home and family I¡¯ve built from the ashes of the life that refused to love her as we do.


    * * *


    My clothes last maybe¡­ five heartbeats? Less?


    I¡¯m barely counting these days.


    Days? No it¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s been over a month since Raska took me as her Kujdestar and introduced me to this wonderful group of girls who are each like me!


    Zephin is always the first to pounce when we pop into the upper floors of their estate. A buzzing mess of energy that was the first to want to hug me on that first day. Now loves to just¡­ fly up to me, wrap all four limbs about mine, shower me with little nibbles from her wonderful¡­ mouth? Things? I don¡¯t really¡­ Like it has four little grabber limb things but no lower jaw. Four tongues which she uses very well. In both kissing and um¡­ lower kissings.


    Next is often little Sevy. A ball of cute titters and loud affections! Little wonderful body of soft scales and um... well she still has a cock that she''s VERY good at using. She was also the only one to swim with me when she drug the harem out to the beach last week. Got to swim and enjoy the sea of colors and little friendly wiggling things that live just beneath the waves. Even¡­ um¡­ sort of pulled me into a game that involved holding our breath and seeing how long we could go at each other before needing air.


    She was apparently cheating though. What with her gills and all. But¡­ I did finish the Amwella dance and left her a wiggly mess so I still won.


    And then there¡¯s Wren. Dreamer¡¯s Tits is she just¡­ too much. But¡­ in all the good ways.


    While all the rest of us were just like¡­ born wrong. The sex of the body a disjunction from the soul and mind, Wren wasn¡¯t even considered a person to those that made her. She doesn¡¯t like to talk about it, and I am terrified to push this amazing woman who just¡­ loves everyone so much. Despite a past of horrors she chose to replace with wonderful lovers.


    A... something I could only dream of finding for myself just... shared freely and with eager abandon.


    Her gooey body is all soul, but¡­ also not soul? Not Amwella, she had explained, just¡­ porously weighted physical sustenance that can turn both Amwella and flesh things into food.


    I¡­ do not understand any of that. Only that her hugs are wonderful and sent me into weepy messes in that first week that I still cannot explain to them.


    But now she just¡­ fills me with warm horniness ever since the night that Raska pulled me into an Amwella dance with the two of them.


    It was like¡­ well having sex in a wonderfully cool bath, but the water is alive and snuggling close and fucking you silly while the other girl in the bath is also fucking you silly and being fucked silly herself.


    And here she is again, swirling around my everything, pulling me into a tight embrace.


    My Amwella and Naranggas can¡¯t help but drag her ever closer. Shove fingers and talons and lips and everything else through her.


    At first I thought that like¡­ feeding on her would be hard or impossible. But¡­ nope! My soul just has to work for it. If most Amwella is like a soft mushy fruit you can just gobble up, Wren¡¯s is¡­ is like a woman you have to poke a hole in and suck the juices out slowly. It''s amazing and makes the pleasure of anything I do with her last way longer than most dances.


    Oh¡­ And apparently she can also become highly acidic and burn almost anything or Amwella she touches away!


    Thus¡­ my clothes are melting and dissolved within seconds of my accepting her offer and embracing her.


    Leaving me a puddle of moaning messes as she holds me aloft in the middle of her private chambers. One leg lifted so that she can just¡­ fill me up with herself. Toy with me and slowly draw me into a couple shuddering climaxes before really starting to fuck me with a gooey mess of perfectly sized limbs she''s grown for this.


    Other than Raska, Wren is the only other woman I¡¯ve met who can match my seemingly everlasting appetites. And even then Raska was a bit sore and ready to sleep while I was begging Wren to fuck me again.


    By morning I literally could not move, and my Naranggas lay quivering and limp around us. Wren¡¯s gooey body slurped around me, the perfect blanket to lull me into one of the best sleeps I¡¯d had in years.


    ¡°H¨C Harder!¡± I hiss into whatever mass of goo my teeth I¡¯m trying to bite into.


    It¡¯s just myself and her for now. Raska¡¯s entertaining a private guest or ally or¡­ someone else. She sent me upstairs to spend more time with the girls. Says she¡¯ll probably be up later to snatch me away.


    Wren bubbles with laughter, always delighted to get a few complete words out of me. I¡­ I still don¡¯t say but a few things on most days.


    Something¡­ I don¡¯t know. Something feels broken in me. I know my tongue works, and¡­ and privately I can still sing little songs and talk a little easier. But¡­ when I¡¯m around people? Even girls as wonderful and understanding as these four?


    My thoughts just¡­ won¡¯t come out without such a fight.


    My chilly dance partner increases her speed and force. I wriggle and bite and cut and struggle, but¡­ nothing works. Nothing makes this wonderful big gooey lady fuck me harder!!!


    She loves to tease me like this. Wants to just¡­ keep me here with her all night with just enough pleasure to only barely satisfy and tire me. But¡­ still leaving me wanting just one more dance of our souls.


    I don¡¯t even hear the door open, just¡­ suddenly Zephin¡¯s arms are plunging through Wren while her wiggly bug mandible things begin to nibble at my bare shoulder. Wren¡¯s already slithered her mass to include the beautiful bug lady.


    Spinning her into our embrace of gooey lovemaking.


    Love¡­. Making?


    That thought jolts me. Cuts through the hornii madness like a knife.


    I can¡¯t love anyone!!! Not again! Not even in little ways! I¡¯ll hurt them!


    Both them notice my sudden turn from writhing in pleasure to stiff trembling horror almost immediately.


    I¡­ I should leave! But¡­ but I can''t! Thendra needs me to stay and¡­ and protect Raska and¨C


    Wren slurps us all down to the floor, wriggles her body to just be holding me. Zephin moves to adjust. Ready to pull back if my Naranggas start getting angry, but still very close and caressing.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Did I startle you Lyra?¡± Zephin murmurs, nibbles at my shoulder when I shake my head.


    I try¡­ oh Dreamer¡¯s blighted cunt and clit I try so hard to blurt out an apology. But all that comes out is a silent cough and huff.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. Hey, it¡¯s okay!¡± Wren coos as a frustrated sob just¡­ pops out of me


    They just¡­ hold me for a while. Let me wrap Naranggas around Wren¡¯s cold blank soul. I don¡¯t feel anything from her, which is fine to me. I¡­ I don¡¯t think I could handle that right now¡­


    Eventually Sevy stumbles in on us, sees the mess of quiet tears and affections and just¡­ can¡¯t help but blunder into me with a big hug. Wren tries to get her to calm down, but¡­ when she sees the smile Sevy¡¯s affections bring to me she includes her in the gooey embrace.


    Sevy takes my face in her hands, asks seriously but softly. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    I¡­ thinking back, Sevy is probably the one I¡¯ve shared the most words with over the month.


    Deep breath. Try to¡­ to force out the words.


    ¡°Sorry.¡± I barely whisper.


    ¡°For what?¡± Wren asks softly.


    ¡°Can¡¯t¡­ Need to¡­¡± I huff. Annoyed that this is so hard.


    Zephin pats my knee. ¡°Take your time. There¡¯s no rush.¡±


    And she means it.


    At one point they try to have me write things, but¡­ it¡¯s just as hard. The words just¡­ slip away the moment I try to write them. It takes me almost the entire next month to slowly, over the course of many many visits to their wonderful home, tell them a little.


    ¡°Was Human. Born wrong. Ran away. New mother found me. Taught me magic. But¡­ that family hates me too. Thendra found me. Keeps me.¡±


    They try so hard to just¡­ I don¡¯t know. Help? I think?


    But I catch the looks, a few hushed whispers of worry. Eyes looking closer at my Naranggas as they hear my dark goddess¡¯ name and murmurs of what I am¡­


    Reaver.


    After that I¡­ I try to keep my distance from them. But¡­ Raska just keeps bringing us here. And¡­ Well, I can¡¯t help but want to be close to them all. Silent and watching and just¡­ being seen and comfortable knowing they understand a part of me that even my dark goddess doesn¡¯t consider.


    I¡¯m like them.


    But¡­ also more.


    Given a purpose to slaughter and consume.


    My reward is the sex.


    Life is just¡­ so much easier that way.


    But I start to¡­ to feel that deep unhealthy attachment that''s almost killed me time and time again begin to fester and bloom.


    But¡­ What can I do!?! They¡¯re all so wonderful and sweet and kind and¡­ and I think they¡¯re starting to love me too!!! I want to ask Raska to stop bringing me here, but¡­ I can¡¯t figure out the Dreamer Blighted words!


    Can¡¯t even begin to explain why I should just¡­ stay away so that I won¡¯t hurt them!

 Chapter 72: The Body to Rot and Her Soul to Wander

    <u>CW:</u>


    Um... mention of a murder. Awnya POV! Conversations about soul-death and rotting things.


    The manor whispers a quite of urgent call as I move from enjoying an evening meal with Nelops through its halls back to get a nap.


    Help


    A crash, a hiss of fury, and I¡¯m already running toward my lover¡¯s chambers. When I arrive I find her slumped against the front of our desk. Hands grasping at her face, tendrils limp and worryingly still.


    Delicate books and some magical contraptions have been tossed about the room. I reach back and pull the door shut behind me, knowing full well that Tretion would not want an audience for this.


    Over the past few years we¡¯d relocated almost all our freed souls to the manor. It¡­ it¡¯s now so full to bursting! Easily almost two thousand people wandering about in what was now a village sized maze of life!


    But¡­ It¡¯s also a little claustrophobic at times.


    So, we¡¯d coaxed huge rooms from the manor. Worked tirelessly to feed it whatever nonsense it needed to forge and twist wonders forth. We were even making progress on getting more plants to grow here, trying to create¡­ what was Tretion¡¯s words for it again?


    ¡°A cyclic self-sustaining ecosystem. One that can theoretically support a static number of souls here indefinitely if needed.¡±


    Honestly? No idea. But it sounds like she wants to create a sort of mini forest within the manor so that we can grow our own food.


    So¡­ yeah! Totally throwing my songs into that!


    I carefully move over and kneel in front of her, lay hands gently on her knees. ¡°Hey¡­ I¡¯m here love.¡±


    She doesn¡¯t look up at first, just¡­ lets out a few shaking sobs.


    So I just¡­ scoot closer and offer a little hug around her knees and wait for my lover to share any sorrows she deems me worthy of.


    After a while she glances up, is frozen by my tired smile for a second as tendrils rise to reach forward, then looks away. Ashamed and wiping her eyes. Immediately I¡¯m wrapping legs around her and scooting closer.


    She trembles. ¡°I¡­ I thought that¡­ That I wouldn¡¯t¡­¡±


    She pauses, takes a breath, glares past me at the scattered books and broken things she¡¯s knocked from her desk.


    ¡°Selfish, stupid thoughts.¡± She finally huffs and her tendrils wibble about, lost between a desire to curl close or reach for me.


    I smirk, ¡°We all have those. Wanna share ¡®em with me?¡±


    Tretion nods. ¡°Don¡¯t tell Nelops, okay?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡± I gently take one of her hands. Kiss the knuckles.


    Tretion takes a deep breath, then begins to speak. ¡°So¡­ For years I thought that the reason Lenelope didn¡¯t want to leave was because her new soul bound her to the manor.¡±


    I nod. She still gets so worried when I leave, and¡­ and while she¡¯s never anything but supportive of Tretion¡¯s research into stabilizing their Amwella for outside travel¡­ we can both see how much it pokes her with anxiety.


    ¡°So¡­ I just assumed that¡­ That my own desires would change too. That like her I would grow to fear the outside.¡±


    I pull her closer, kiss her hand a few more times.


    ¡°But I¡­ I want to leave. Want to explore the wider Rifts so badly.¡± She growls as new tears begin to fall. ¡°Ever since that day out with¡­ with Lyra in Hedrin. When we got to meet my cousin. I just¡­ I wanted to coax her into traveling with me. But¡­ but I didn¡¯t push anything because I needed to be here for Lenelope too!¡±


    I fight to keep from wincing internally.


    ¡°But now she has hundreds of new friends and half a dozen lovers and she¡¯s so happy and I¡¯m¡­ We¡¯re so close to finishing the grove that will make sure they can live here forever if they want to! But¡­ but my soul is still stuck here and I HATE IT. I¡¯m sick to death of this place!¡±


    She¡¯s growling and hissing the words now. ¡°I¡¯m no closer to understanding why my soul rots in the wider dream and what could help it endure for more than a few seconds. And that¡¯s if I could even Riftwalk from this¡­ this¡­¡±


    Sobs overcome her, and I drag her into a full embrace now. Kiss and nuzzle her tendrils as they reach up to curl about my face and hair and shoulders. Murmur love and affections through a song woven to help her release this pain.


    It¡¯s so wrong how¡­ How even a few years ago I would have thought smothering her agony with a song of joy was the way. But¡­ after enduring so much with her I understand now! Through countless nights of shared weeping and thrashing sobs I¡¯ve learned to weave songs meant to¡­ to encourage and clear the pathways within our souls.


    Chart healthy outlets for our pain to pass over and through us while causing as little harm as possible.


    Melodies that let us feel and endure, rather than mute and hide away.


    Because the pain of the past cannot be contained. Only ignored. Sometimes it fades on its own and we can manage it better later on. But other times¡­ Other times it can fester and poison us.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits I wish I¡¯d known all this when Lyra was alive. Wish I could¡¯ve help her heal even a little from the past so few were willing to face with her.


    ¡°But you are closer.¡± I murmur as my song fades. ¡°Even I can see that Tretion!¡±


    She sags, tendrils squeeze me tighter. ¡°I¡­ You¡¯re right in that I understand more about my soul but¡­ Nothing to explain why my body can¡¯t shield it from the rot of the outside!¡±


    I let her snuggle into my chest.


    So many tests. Little and big experiments regarding Amwella, Soulwaste, and even the nature of the Dream.


    ¡°Tretion you are so smart and clever and even the people I¡¯ve shared you notes with are just¡­ blown away by your work!¡± I start pecking at her little wigglers as they continue to nuzzle my face. ¡°This¡­ this is really impressive and really hard stuff. But we¡¯re getting close. You¡¯re getting close.¡±


    She huffs, tendrils floop out to mimic her annoyance. ¡°I¡¯m not explaining this well. I¡¯ve learned a lot over these past eight years, yes. Even my wretched grandmother would shit herself at how far past her ignorant understanding of things I¡¯ve gone. I¡¯ve¡­ um¡­ developed the framework that could be used to craft some very nasty spells or magic items if I had the tools and interest in such things. But¡­¡±


    I sigh with her. ¡°Destroying a thing is easier than building the same.¡±


    ¡°Exactly!¡± There is such¡­ joy in her tone that I adore when she feels like I get this stuff. ¡°And right now I have all the tools and incantations to rend almost any soul I wish to shreds.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but feel a rush of pride at¡­ at just how confident she is of that.


    Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    ¡°So¡­ what¡¯s the current issue?¡±


    A calm focus returns to her eyes, ¡°I¡¯ve ruled out it being a problem with my own soul. As odd as it looks after all these years, it¡¯s normal. Identical in every single way I can measure. So¡­ that means it must be another problem.¡±


    I nod. ¡°Something outside is different from what¡¯s in here.¡±


    ¡°Yes. But¡­ the old blueprints for the manor are long gone or just¡­ never existed. And every single test I run shows that everything inside this manor is identical to the wider dream. Mine and Lenelope¡¯s souls are the only ones that rot when we leave. We¡¯ve even had Ofeta, that girl whose been sweet on Nelops for over six years, step outside just to see if her consumption of the manor¡¯s soul woven food had somehow altered her soul or body. But¡­ no. nothing. She was as comfortable out there as in here. No changes or degradation.¡±


    I nod along. She¡¯s working very hard to keep this all in simple terms and avoid the more¡­ detailed parts.


    ¡°So¡­ there must be something out there that only appears when a soul like ours manifests within a body. A¡­ a reaction exclusive to our soul that just¡­ seems to be normal rotting.¡±


    And here it is. The problem that haunts her soul.


    ¡°But to even begin to try and observe that I¡¯d need to go outside! And¡­ and every second out there could be years of soul growth torn away. And that¡¯s hoping the rot isn¡¯t infectious and will even stop spreading once I return!¡±


    ¡°So¡­ let¡¯s figure out how to do that without you or Nelops needing to go outside!¡± I encourage her.


    ¡°We have!¡± She huffs. ¡°Remember the soul cages? The¡­ the little plants I had you take out and explain their rotting while viewed under Amwella sight?¡±


    I wince. ¡°Yeah. Unpleasant but¡­¡±


    She glares past me. ¡°Nothing. No difference. Normal rot as if the souls were just¡­ open and exposed. Despite all my incantations and protections. It¡¯s like¡­ Like the dream senses we¡¯re dead or¡­ or gone and burns us away like a mother protecting her clutch.¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­ So we need to figure out how to disguise your soul then?¡±


    She begins to shake her head but¡­ slows. ¡°Awnya¡­ What¡¯s that bird called¡­ the one that drops off its eggs in other nests to be raised by another mother. Will even knock the original eggs out to make room for her young to fit?¡±


    ¡°Oh uh¡­¡± I pause, smile broadly. ¡°OH! No idea but¡­ Yeah I see where you¡¯re going with this!¡±


    She snorts, ¡°I¡¯d hope so, it¡¯s your idea.¡±


    ¡°Nope! I was just¡­ letting my mouth yap and honk about my watcher¡¯s good ideas. You were already thinking it.¡±


    ¡°But¡­ ugh we¡¯ll argue over it if it works.¡± She pauses, then turns to me. ¡°But¡­ Awnya I know you¡¯ve given me a brief telling of your Fae lore and beliefs on this Dead Dreamer but¡­ honestly I took it as more allegorical rather than literal. More comforting than Watcher teaching on our ancient gods and matrons but¡­ If it¡¯s true. If we¡¯re all just¡­ figments in some goddess¡¯ dream and the blight at the edges of the Rifts truly are her body or mind or¡­ or whatever rotting away then¡­ then¡­¡±


    ¡°Then¡­ what?¡± I tilt my head. Now completely lost.


    ¡°That could explain why myself and Lenelope are just¡­¡±


    She trails off, her mind¡¯s fire an eternity ahead of her mouth. I smirk and just¡­ bask in her renewed vigor.


    ¡°What if that¡¯s why we rot? We¡¯re not like¡­ broken or dying. We¡¯re being attacked. Like a body fighting off disease or a mother sensing a snake in her nest. Whatever will is left over by this dead Goddess thinks we don¡¯t belong and seeks to remove us!¡±


    I feel the blood drain from my face at those words. Sort of¡­ of a wash of horrid shame and guilt and worry and¡­ and an eternity of other things as I consider words of a Fae woman about her beloved daughter.


    About what she saw wailing in agony over twenty years ago outside the cursed wood.


    Tretion is shaking me, calling my name.


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­¡± I let out a little thrum of song to steady my mind and breathing. ¡°I¡¯m okay just¡­ debating if I should break an old promise.¡±


    Tretion¡¯s brow furrows. Thinking I mean one of my oaths to her and those within this manor.


    ¡°Not¡­ not to you but¡­ someone asked me to keep a secret. To never sing to a soul what she told me. Demanded I take this to my Dream¡¯s end.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ Why is this bothering you now?¡±


    I swallow. ¡°Yuna asked me to keep it. She¡¯s¡­ she¡¯s Lyra¡¯s mother.¡±


    Tretion¡¯s eyes go wide, hands tremble as tendrils freeze in place. ¡°Wh¡­ what?¡±


    ¡°It was years ago. The night after I first met Lyra. She told me her past up to Theradas and needed to sleep, so I went to chat with her mother. Try to fill in some gaps and answer some odd questions.¡± My mouth is so dry as I speak the words just this side of breaking my promises. ¡°Lyra had said that she¡¯d been living in the Dead Dreamer¡¯s wood for twelve years. Which¡­ I mean for most things that¡¯s just asking to get blighted. But to a Fae? The¡­ the place is guaranteed death. The blight and rot there just¡­ burn at us like flame touching parchment.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ How could Lyra survive that?¡± Tretion whispers.


    ¡°Exactly my question! I just¡­ assumed she meant something else. Confused a scary forest for the actual Cursed Wood. Or¡­ or a slightly blighted place for it.¡±


    Deep breath.


    ¡°But then she mentioned that her mother found her wandering in and out of it back at the start. When she was still human.¡±


    Deeper breaths.


    ¡°So I sat down with Yuna to chat it over. But before I could get into the weeds of it she told me that her next words would need to be kept secret. Made me promise in song and swear it up and down.¡±


    ¡°Awnya, Will this hurt you to break?¡± Tretion asks, pulling me a little close and tendrils move to wrap and touch whatever they can reach.


    ¡°It just¡­ Promise songs can only be sung when those weaving them actually believe their words.¡± I clench and unclench my fingers a few times. ¡°But¡­ Like If we change our minds or¡­ or were tricked we can break them.¡±


    ¡°Then¡­ why does this seem to be so hard for you.¡±


    ¡°Because Fae don¡¯t change, Tretion. Or¡­ or we shouldn¡¯t.¡± I sigh, ¡°Our best healing songs literally weave us back into exactly who we were the day we first became Fae.¡±


    ¡°But¡­ you keep your memories. Your bodies may shift but¨C¡±


    ¡°Exactly, but it¡¯s still¡­ like¡­ I¡¯m not sure if it¡¯s like this for you Tretion. But we Fae just¡­ our memories don¡¯t always feel like they belong to us! Just¡­ new songs we learn and can use but¡­ we don¡¯t¡­ But they are always so fresh to us! Not a perfect recall but¡­ always vibrant.¡±


    Tretion nods, and I can see in my brilliant watcher¡¯s eyes that she understands this so easily.


    ¡°You''re caught between the two memoires. To break this promise you have to embrace the understanding and song of wanting to keep this secret while also your current desire to share. The new is more fresh, but the old is strong and has context.¡±


    I nod, let out such a sigh of love. Have to¡­


    ¡°Tretion¡­ No matter what, don¡¯t let me stop.¡± I hiss out. ¡°Don¡¯t let me distract us with how much I want to drag you to bed right now. Dreamer¡¯s Tits your just¡­ SO gorgeous when you''re untangling my thoughts.¡±


    She huffs, caught off guard and¡­ and obviously tempted. ¡°It¡¯s important. Yuna may hate that you mean to share this, but¡­ I think if she knew that this knowledge could help someone Lyra loved she would want you to share it.¡±


    I nod, grasping onto her logic and using it. ¡°We also really don¡¯t like the other Fae and would never tell them this. That was one of her two big worries. That either the Fae would find out and stop at nothing to act on that knowledge, or that Lyra would find out and um... be really hurt by the knowledge.¡±


    Tretion smiles so sadly then. ¡°Neither of those are possible now.¡±


    ¡°Exactly. So unless Yuna cared more about her own reputation or¡­ something. She¡¯d agree to this.¡±


    Deep breath. And then I¡¯m shattering the promise song apart.


    Sharing with my watcher the memories of Lyra¡¯s mother and the end of that first night I met the wonderful Fae girl...


    ¡°Okay so¡­¡±


    ¡°Promise me. In song.¡± Yuna demands.


    ¡°Like¡­ Okay? But I¡¯d like to know why before I agree?¡± I tilt my head.


    She narrows her eyes across the table we sit at. Her home was suddenly very still and quiet.


    I raise a hand. ¡°I¡¯m not saying I don¡¯t trust you, just¡­¡±


    She lets out a huff, looks away. ¡°Either sing the promise or be content with what you already know. I¡¯ll not risk this hurting her.¡±


    Yuna is nice but¡­ really¡­ It''s easy to tell that she prefers her own company. Just this past hour of sharing little bits of Lyra¡¯s past have set her on edge.


    I sigh, ¡°I¡¯ll trust you in this Yuna, and I apologize for implying otherwise. You¡¯ve a right to protect your daughter.¡±


    That loosens her. And as I weave the song of promise for her she relaxes so obviously she seems an almost entirely different Fae.


    A long pause passes.


    ¡°So Lyra mentioned you found her wandering in and out of the Cursed Wood.¡± I start. ¡°I thought she was just¡­ confused. Mistaking some spooky forest she¡¯s been hiding in for the real thing.¡±


    She shakes her head. ¡°It was the Dead Dreamer¡¯s Wood. Both then and¡­ and for these past twelve years.¡±


    As my eyes widen in surprise I feel her words rising up now¡­ prompted by my questions and settled by my promise song.


    ¡°She¡­ Did she tell you about her¡­ about the humans? The ones that raised her and what happened with them?¡±


    I grimace at the sudden shift in topic. ¡°Yeah. Said they chased her off. Tried to kill her.¡±


    Yuna lets out such a sigh of relief. ¡°Oh thank the Blighted Dreamer for that at least.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I flinch at that. ¡°How¡­ how is that a good thing?¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± Tears bubble in her eyes. ¡°If that¡¯s the worst she remembers¡­ then I¡¯m glad I made you sing that song. Please¡­ Awnya. Don¡¯t¡­ you can not tell her this. Not a WORD!¡±


    I push aside the empty mug and touch her hand right quick at this sudden rise in panic. ¡°I don¡¯t mean to drag out or dig up old things she may not remember. Just¡­ Help her find happiness in the now.¡±


    She nods, and seems to calm, but returns my grasp with double the force. ¡°She¡­ They¡­¡±


    Her eyes close as she takes a deep breath, her entire body beginning to tremble in agony I¡¯ve seen in so few Fae.


    That, more than anything, sends a wash of cold through me. Real fear I¡¯d not felt since I was a little bird still trying to figure out Fae songs and forgot how to fly for a bit.


    ¡°The humans did not chase her off.¡± She whispers. ¡°They killed her. They killed my little girl.¡±


    I feel the blood drain from my face. My next word is a quiet hiss. ¡°What?¡±


    She growls, ¡°Left the body to rot and her soul to wander.¡±


    The phrasing¡­ the¡­ but that¡­


    ¡°What I found trying to enter the Fae Wood was not just a human girl, but¡­ but a light of stubborn Amwella thrashing to tear free of the Rot and Ruin.¡± Her next words escape like a rush of a furious river. ¡°Broken, wailing, and begging for her parents not to hurt her. Pleading for¡­ for someone to help her. So how could I not!?!¡±


    ¡°But the Dream would not let her pass beyond those woods for long. Not without¡­. Without trying to wrap her in a human body that I only later realized she hated. I¡­ I could feel the Dead Dreamer stirring so I finished the work and took her home. Expected to just¡­ I don¡¯t know. I didn¡¯t have a plan for my little girl. Just that I would help her.¡±


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t until I bathed her and she screamed at me for calling her a boy that I realized what the Dream did to her, and¡­ why her parents killed her.¡±


    Her grip on my hand is so tight, and I¡¯d have pulled away if I wasn¡¯t also needing to cling to something as my mind spirals and eyes gush tears.


    ¡°So¡­ I decided to fix mine and this blighted Dream¡¯s mistake. Teach her the songs to weave the body we owed her.¡± She smiles then, such pride in her voice. ¡°She took to the melodies so well Awnya. Mastered the Fae shaping in barely four years.¡±


    I choke at that. ¡°Wh¨C What?¡±


    The shortest I¡¯d heard of ANY Fae mastering that song was¡­ like¡­ Ten years. Minimum. Took most of us closer to twenty or thirty!


    ¡°But¡­ you said wander. Not¡­ How did she survive the Blight and Rot? Souls break apart in the safest part of the Dream. But¡­ Yuna are you sure that¡­ that she wasn¡¯t some¡­ some¡­¡±


    Blighted thing that swims through the Rot and feasts on the Dead Dreamer¡¯s corpse? Just¡­ hungry for the sweet blazing Hearthfires at the center of the Fae Wood?


    My implication doesn¡¯t shed even a hint of her pride.


    ¡°My Lyra was thrumming with life when I found her. So much that the Blight just¡­ passed over her. Burning away as droplets of water flicked into a roaring flame. Her Amwella a¡­ a blaze of furious will that could not be quenched.¡±


    I feel my eyes go wide.


    ¡°You¡­ Yuna you can¡¯t mean that she¡¯s¡­¡±


    Her eyes shine with¡­ with pride and love. But¡­ also fear. Fear that her next words might lead me to break my promise.


    ¡°Lyra is the most Fae girl you or I will ever meet.¡±


    * * *


    Then¡­ Later. As I was dropping Lyra off but just before I left to go back to Theradas¡­


    ¡°You two seem¡­ close.¡± Yuna murmurs as Lyra steps out to relieve herself.


    I smirk. ¡°We are.¡±


    Yuna nods, her smile an echo of my own. But¡­ then a little bit of worry creeps up to sour it. ¡°You¡­ you haven¡¯t¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve kept my promises to you.¡± I assure her, then add. ¡°But¡­ I think you should tell her before I get back.¡±


    Her eyes darts to mine, smile entirely gone.


    I shrug. ¡°She¡¯s not brittle, Yuna.¡±


    ¡°Why even¡­ why would I inflict that on her in the first place?¡±


    ¡°Best case, she goes a few more decades without it being something that matters.¡± I meet her gaze, pour all my worry into it. ¡°But worst case? She¡¯s either alone or¡­ or with a person who might use it to hurt her. It¡¯s better she be told by someone she knows loves her and can help her deal with it.¡±


    Yuna looks down, bites her lip. ¡°I¡­¡±


    ¡°Look, I told Lyra three days. But if things are as bad as I think they are, this could take a week. And that¡¯s if my Old Goat has shown up to help.¡±


    She nods slowly. ¡°I¡­ I won¡¯t force this. She¡¯ll need to be in the right mindset and¡­ and I¡¯m not even sure what words to use!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s fine. Feel it out.¡± I touch her shoulder. ¡°Worse case I¡¯ll be back in a week and be here to help you get through it. But¡­ honestly Yuna I¡¯m not sure my presence will do much. Your love and pride for her will be all the good things she needs to handle this weight.¡±


    Yuna nods. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ll try¡­¡±

 Chapter 73: A Reavers Last Lesson

    <u>CW:</u>


    Burn wounds. memory of being murdered. self-mutilation. Thoughts of suicide. Mention of sex gained through coercion via song magic.


    A roar of fury, and the Duchess is slamming me into the wall by the scruff of my tunic.


    ¡°Raska!¡± Zephin tries to come closer, but the blazing soul of the duchess is just¡­ too hot now! Only Wren could approach.


    But¡­ her onyx eyes are wide with fear and anger and pain. Not for Raska¡¯s rage, but for what she¡¯d been told about me.


    ¡°Disgusting fucking¨C¡± Raska growls.


    ¡°Raska!¡± Sevy screams, tries to run to us, but Wren holds her back as the Everflame''s spark hisses and softly screams in fury.


    ¡°Take a breath!¡± Zephin pleads. ¡°Ukalon¡¯s Tits and Teeth just¡­ tell us what¡¯s¨C¡±


    Raska doesn¡¯t even turn to regard her as she nearly shouts. ¡°She lied to us, Zephin. She was never human. Never born wrong. She¡¯s a fucking Fae!!!¡±


    A long pause¡­ and I watch in shame and horror as their expressions turn at first to disbelief. Then to¡­ to fear and¡­


    Anger.


    I pull on Raska¡¯s wrists, try to¡­ To choke out explanations and apologies and¨C


    Raska snarls and pushes me up the wall so now my feet are dangling and kicking uselessly.


    ¡°What was it then?¡± She growls, ¡°Some kind of fish? No¡­. no you¡¯re too pretty for that. Probably some song bird plucked from the nest by some perfect Fae parent. Given everything.¡±


    I¡­ I try to tell her. Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits if¡­ if she would just drop me and let me explain I could¡­ could fix this! Tell her that I¡¯m barely Fae! Especially now! That I really was human!


    ¡°You know how many of your kind have flitted through here over the years, Fae?¡± She squeezes tighter, blue flame between her horns quiver with barely bound fury. ¡°Almost a dozen since my birth. And do you know how many helped our kind? Taught us even the barest hint of magic so that we could mimic a fraction of their flesh-changes? Even when we begged them to help?¡±


    ¡°Raska¡­¡± Wren murmurs.


    ¡°NONE!¡± The duchess nearly screams. ¡°But are they oh so happy to just¡­ mingle with our Amwella and take anything they can when we catch their fancy. Use their songs to... to muddle thoughts and...¡±


    The blue flame twists free, begins to dance and writhe around her soul in silent fury. Just¡­ waiting for the whispered words that will burn my body and soul from the dream.


    ¡°And here you are. Playing the helpless bitch to an actual monster. Someone I only use because my mother¡¯s cracked a deal with the cunt.¡± She spits. ¡°Pretending you''re just¡­ too traumatized to talk. Holding back songs that could help so many that are hurting.¡±


    The blue flame drifts close, and Raska¡¯s soul roils. Already¡­ already beginning to melt at the dozens of Naranggas that I press back flat against the wall.


    ¡°Stop!¡± Sevy pleads. ¡°Just... look at her! She¡­ she¡¯s not¡­¡±


    I barely notice Wren step up beside the duchess while Zephin and Sevy hold each other in the corner. Lays a solid by slightly melty hand on her shoulder. ¡°Remember your oaths.¡±


    Suddenly the duchess cools, but¡­ doesn¡¯t release her grip as she whisper so softly I almost miss it. ¡°The worst part? The biggest insult? Is that here you are taking advantage of someone I love. Someone who was literally kept as a fucking pet by one of your kind.¡±


    Wren¡¯s grip tightens, And Raska closes her eyes, trembling in fury. Then she drops me, and I slump to the floor in a sobbing heap as she hisses. ¡°You don¡¯t deserve our stories.¡±


    A few tense heartbeats flutter past. But... No one steps over to help me. To comfort me or to¡­ to¡­


    Raska kicks me. Not¡­ not really that hard. But enough to toss me into stumbling bodily toward the window.


    When I look up she is glaring those blazing blue eyes at me, pointing a finger. ¡°Out of my sight, Kujdestar. I¡¯ll bear your presence on the battlefield in two days, but come near or speak another word to me or mine and I¡¯ll make sure you burn for it.¡±


    Of course, now of all times is when my mouth and tongue decide to force out blighted words.


    ¡°W¨C Wasn¡¯t L¨C¡±


    Barely a whisper of painful incantations from her, and the entire left half of my body is consumed in blue fire and terrible pain.


    I can¡¯t scream, can only slump against the open window as Raska¡¯s blaze chars gifted clothes and skin. Leaves my entire left arm and half my leg and chest a mess of throbbing red and black bubbling burns that immediately hurt like nothing I''ve ever felt. Pain seems to... to lace through every little nonsense twisting of Fae flesh.


    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    The world jiggles, and¡­ and everything inside is howling at me to run.


    To hide.


    To¡­ to just stop being.


    An old Shrike rings in my ears. One I¡¯d only twisted into a few songs since¡­ Since I killed my last lover. And so I twist and just¡­ drop out the window. Let a wailing Riftwalking song take me to my Dark Goddess.


    Momentum is carried through Riftwalks, but I already knew that. Learned it my first time. And now¡­ I savor the pain of it. Bask in the crunch of a few bones and the flash of light that jolts through my skull as I crash down into the hard stone floor.


    None of it helps dull the anguish howling through my soul, but between that and my throbbing burns I reclaim a furious focus.


    Kindle an anger that could very well carry me to my death.


    I push myself to my feet, Naranggas already a flurry of weaving soul death, and roll through this little manor like a storm.


    Leave the broken bones and burns, let them¡­ let them keep my mind sharp with horrid pain.


    It¡¯s nothing like Thendra¡¯s home in Theradas. That beast is alive and angry and is only happy to devour any flesh and souls given to it. This place is just¡­ dead wood and cold stone. A few Reavers peer out from a few doors and hallways. But one look at my eyes and soul and they run. Hard. I can even sense that some flee the manor.


    That should make me happy. Finally! Finally those flesh eating soul drinking blighted things have learned to leave me alone. But it only makes my Naranggas move faster and with more fury. Preening for souls to shred.


    I find the woman I seek in what I think is¡­ some kind of dining room or study or¡­ something. It doesn¡¯t matter. She¡¯s already standing, face a blank mask as she looks at me.


    Already knows that I mean to kill her.


    Talon twitches as I pause, considering a Riftwalk behind her. A quick knick of her soul and flesh will give me everything I need to lay a blight and watch her die screaming.


    But she¡¯ll expect that and¡­ she¡¯s left her bow on the table?


    Huh. That¡¯s¡­ odd.


    So I just¡­ walk across the room and stop just a few feet from Bulderii. Glare up into her blank shameless eyes.


    I have no words. Not even sure if I could force them out anyway. My tongue is just¡­ useless meat right now. My eyes and soul give her all the warning I mean to allow her as my storm of Naranggas curls and weaves around her little Reaver soul.


    She doesn¡¯t move. Doesn¡¯t even flinch.


    My talon twitches. Jellyfish preen and coo and howl at me to strike. To blight her with a fraction of the pain her words caused me when she told Raska I am Fae.


    Then I hear a soft sound, a purr of warning, and I know that my Dark Goddess stands in the doorway.


    A deep hissing breath, and I¡¯m turning to regard her. But¡­ I very intentionally keep every single Naranggas around Bulderii. Ready to Reave the cunt¡¯s soul the second I decide to end my blighted existence.


    For some stupid reason Thendra considers her even more valuable than I am. If I kill her my Dark Goddess will either slaughter me¡­ Or break me in ways I cannot imagine.


    Thendra leans against the frame of the doorway. Face covered in such¡­ amusement.


    WHY!?! I let my soul scream.


    Her eyes give me all the answers I need. All the¡­ the Dreamer Blighted reasons she commanded Bulderii to tell Raska what I am!!!


    I was starting to love them.


    Talons dig furrows into my palms and I can¡¯t meet her gaze. So I glare down as they drip clean blood onto the floor.


    Eight years¡­ eight blighted years I just¡­ I was finally happy.


    Finally perfect.


    Pleasure and Purpose.


    My jellyfish family and Dark Goddess were all I needed.


    Then Raska and her lovers took me in, held me close, and considered me one of theirs¡­ All because they¡¯re like me!?! Maybe¡­ maybe they could have¨C


    ¡°They are nothing like you.¡± My Dark Goddess growls, emphasizing that middle word with such a snarl that tears me from the musings of what might have been.


    I jerk my head up and level a glare at her.


    But her face is blank. Devoid of¡­ everything. Then she murmurs so softly I almost miss her words. ¡°What do you think you are?¡±


    I pause, confused by the question. What do you mean?


    ¡°Hm¡­¡± She glances past me, considering some deep muse. ¡°Maybe you really don¡¯t remember.¡±


    Remember what? I curl my tendrils around Bulderii, anger rising at this¡­ this nonsense!


    I¡¯m just a broken Fae you shaped into a Reaver. Your TOOL.


    That¡¯s IT!


    Jade eyes roll back to me, filled with such fury and purpose. ¡°Is it?¡±


    I hiss, Sick of¡­ of this! Of¡­ of just¡­ just¡­ not being¡­ not¡­


    ¡°How did you arrive in those Cursed Woods, Lyra?¡±


    What does this MATTER?!? My mother SENT me there. ABANDONED ME!!! WHY EVEN BRING TH¨C


    ¡°NOT THEN!¡± Her snarl rips through the room, stills my thoughts into a sudden cold fear. Almost makes me stumble. Causes my Naranggas to curl away from Bulderii and shield me from the most furious sound I¡¯ve ever heard my Dark Goddess make.


    A heartbeat, then there is only the echo of her fury fading. Like a crack of thunder, here and gone in a flash.


    Then she asks¡­ very very softly. ¡°How did you reach those blighted woods after your human parents killed you?¡±


    I¡­ what? The question doesn¡¯t make sense. No they¡­ they didn¡¯t kill me. They wanted to, but¡­


    Thendra just¡­ stares. Waiting.


    I¡­ I got away.


    Jade eyes bore into me, and¡­ and I can¡¯t help but¡­ but feel the certainty of her words roll through me as I¡­ I try to think back and¡­


    Cold and damp and shaking. Boots crunch, then the shadow shifts and¡­ and then someone kneels next to my helpless broken body.


    My Dad.


    I whimper, trying to¡­ beg him To¡­ To stop hurting me and¨C


    He glares, hunters knife in hand. Rests it against my neck while his hand grips my hair and jerks it back.


    Just like he showed me. How... how to slaughter a wounded animal.


    Then my throat splits, and all the warmth drains from the wound in a painful wrenching flood of...


    I¡¯m gagging, breathing fast and hard as talons grasp at my neck. I¡¯ve stumbled at some point, knees and forehead on the floor. Soul tails whirling in furious madness. Searching for the thing that killed us.


    But other than the two Reavers, no one else is here. Just a memory.


    A¡­ memory?


    The memory of my father killing me!?!


    I let out something between a hiss and a wail, a sobbing cry at everything and nothing. Curse be blighted I weave all my words into a horrid tune! One that I have not thought to fully twist into the wretched Dream since the day it took my watcher from me.


    My Shrike of the End thrums from deep within my chest, given a new and horrible strength by all this warm Dreamfire all around¨C


    Then something is catching my Naranggas. Wrapping their panicked writhing still and pinning their sharp edges so that¡­ That Thendra, my Dark Goddess, can scoop me up and pull me close.


    Jolting my song to a sudden halt as her soul crashes into mine. Smothers my Shrike and chokes it to an abrupt halt. Then she sits there and just¡­ cradles me. Purrs a hard truth into my soul as she pins my Amwella close to hers.


    I am the storm¡¯s tool, and she will not let me go, nor allow me to break.


    Just like on that first night she found me and brought me home, I¡¯m drowned by her spiced thrumming warmth. Such soft purrs of¡­ of possessive fury seem to lilt in harmony to the storm¡¯s howls.


    ¡°You¡¯re safe, My Lyra.¡± She murmurs so softly. ¡°He can harm you no more.¡±


    I dissolving into a puddle of nonsense then. Racked with such... such pain at the reclaimed memory of another person who once said they loved me coming to hate me. So... so much that they would try to kill me. That they DID kill me...


    Press face and flesh and soul as hard as I can into the only woman that will keep me, regardless of how horrid I am.


    A song bubbles up, nothing of shredding or death. Just... a sudden ache to bleed my misery and gratefulness to her into a melody.


    ¡°M¨C M- I¨C¡± But even the question fails to fubble out from my lips. Between gasping sobs the words just... break. Tongue refuses to form them.


    Thendra just¡­ pulls me closer as I fail to stammer out the question. Purrs such an odd sound as my sadness turns to a bitter rage.


    Why even have this useless blighted strip of flesh if it¡¯s just¡­ just¡­ NEVER GOING TO WORK!?!?!


    So I stick out the horrid thing as far it¡¯ll go, and chomp down on it as hard as I can.


    PAIN!!!


    Perfect horrid gurgling bloody agony that I can¡¯t help but love. Real and solid it¡­ it grounds me.


    Settles my soul into the Dream once again.


    It takes a few bites, but soon I am spitting the useless flapping of flesh free from my mouth and basking in the familiar freedom that comes with the forced silence. The giggling wonderous pain of knowing that there is always one who will know my mind and soul better than anyone else ever will! Words are stupid and hard and just... they''ve NEVER really made anyone hate me less. Not having to even try just... it sounds so perfect!


    The blood filling my mouth though? That¡¯s not really enjoyable but¡­ Thendra is already reading the question radiating from my rotting soul.


    May I sing?


    And with purring comfort she lets me bare my fury and pain and anger into a song to seal my maimed tongue from regrowing, all while holding me close and murmuring soft affections.

 Chapter 74: Memories from Before and Beyond

    <u>CW:</u>


    Violence Death, talk of self-mutilation and leaving wound unhealed in self-harm, more emotional damage.


    Amidst the twisting trees outside the Duke Zrektone¡¯s estate I roll Thendra¡¯s question around in my head.


    Over and over and over. For the past two days.


    Replayed those old blighted memories a hundred times during my silence.


    How did I get to the Dead Dreamer¡¯s Wood after I died?


    Once again I am wrapped from head to toe in heavy leather and chitin, but¡­ this time it chaffs and drags against tender unhealed burned flesh.


    I didn¡¯t heal them. Not because I can¡¯t but¡­ because I don¡¯t want to. The horrid pain both helps me stay grounded, but¡­ Also will be a constant reminder of what I can never feel again.


    Thendra purrs a command, and the other Reavers seated around us rise, ready to attack the estate while she and Bulderii hang back to issue commands and provide support if a stronger foe arrives.


    The plan is apparently so simple even an idiot like me can understand it. We¡¯re to draw out as many of his forces as possible, let him stand alone so that the Duchess can riftwalk close and kill him.


    I¡¯m barely paying attention as I¡¯m moving forward with the others.


    No matter what, I cannot love or be loved by anything in this Dream.


    Pleasure and Purpose. That¡¯s it. That¡¯s all I am. All I can have.


    All I deserve.


    A Reaver snarls, bumps my left shoulder.


    On reflex a Naranggas shoots out, wraps around the Reaver¡¯s soul and tears it free. A wash of such wondrous feeding euphoria drowns my thoughts as I slurp up the soul and add her tendril to my cacophony.


    The Empty Night¡­ perfect and¡­ and cold and¡­


    I¡¯ve stopped. The warmth of the feeding faded along with the memory drowning my mind.


    I jerk up to¡­ to the sound of growls and confused snarls of the other Reavers as they realize what I¡¯ve done.


    The¡­ feeding it¡­ it restored the memory!?!


    Before I realize what I¡¯m even doing I¡¯m twisting and lunging a dozen more tendrils at the Reavers around me. Tearing and ripping and drinking their horrid blighted souls and adding their cruel tendrils to my own core before they can even blink.


    Drifting¡­ drifting¡­ Cold nothingness everywhere. Days and months and eternities of this¡­


    Then, FINALLY something¨C


    I¡¯m snarling in voiceless fury as the memory fades.


    Not enough!


    I pause for a moment¡­ considering the dead Reavers about me, and the fury my Dark Goddess will have at this slaughter. How she¡­ she bloodied and trained them for this specific task. Needed them.


    I can¡¯t stop what must be such a horrid sounding hacking giggle.


    What¡¯s Thendra going to do? Take my tongue? Forbid me from regrowing it? I¡¯d not twist that blighted thing back into my mouth even if she demands it.


    A shout, and I look up to see dozens of people pouring from the manor. Each armed with either claw or blade or sizzling magics.


    And besides¡­ I need more soulfire. Each feeding seems to restore the memories.


    Answering the question.


    How did I get to the Dead Dreamer¡¯s Wood?


    I¡¯m already Riftwalking, barely even noticing the curse¡¯s bite with such a wellspring of Amwella roaring at my core!


    A dozen dead in a second, and I¡¯m already back amongst the trees by the time I¡¯m drowning in the feeding euphoria.


    More drifting, more cold void. But¡­ but something begins to light up the pitch.


    Starlight and¡­ and a thrumming of¡­ something?


    So quiet though. I don¡¯t know what¨C


    A bolt of lightning streaks past me, and I look up in glee as I see even more souls pouring from the manor.


    A feast of soulfire.


    Wailing and screeching, I''m already charging, three dozen Naranggas whirling and furious and so Dreamer Cursed hungry for more!


    I lost count years ago of how many souls I¡¯ve consumed. It.. it must be in the hundreds now? But¡­ Other than the Naranggas I absorb when I devour my soul¡¯s never really gotten bigger, just¡­ heavier.


    But¡­ not like it is harder to carry just¡­ Ugh it¡¯s hard to explain.


    Maybe¡­ maybe it means it¡¯s heavier within the dream? Harder to just pluck free? So few things have even tried.


    I don¡¯t even bother riftwalking back to the forest now, just¡­ stop and let my Naranggas whirl about to protect me from any who may approach as the old memory bubbles up to consume my mind.


    A song!


    So beautiful and warm and¡­ and perfect just¡­ Ringing out among the stars!


    If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    I growl as the memory ends early. Look about to the field to find everyone dead and eaten.


    I cast out with my Amwella sight¡­ looking for more souls to eat.


    THERE!


    Atop the big manor! Honestly¡­ the Duke¡¯s home is more of a¡­ a weird little mountain of piled statues that have apparently been melted together and hollowed out.


    But atop this weird manor in the middle of the woods, I sense two wondrous souls of fire blazing and roaring.


    I glance up, and tear a rift that¡¯ll leave me about two hundred feet above the manor. Let me get a better view of my next two maybe meals.


    A battle of red and blue flames.


    The Duchess Raska hisses her own Cerulean Everflame out and against the Duke¡¯s Scarlett inferno.


    Despite my sour heart at seeing my former rutting partner again. It¡¯s¡­ interesting to watch them fight. And as I fall I understand why Raska wanted most everyone else distracted.


    Her Everflame may be strong, but while commanding it she¡¯s a bit restricted in her movements.


    Their contest also seems to be focused on each flame trying to eat the other¡­ two whirling hissing snakes curling and attempting to get the upper hand without pulling too far back and exposing their master to a stray bolt of fire or outside attack.


    Hmmm¡­ I wonder¡­


    I just¡­ Riftwalk behind the duke, Naranggas striking out and¨C


    Reaver instincts howl, and I fall back through the same Riftwalk just before an eruption of flame engulfs that spot.


    Fast. Really really fast.


    I gurgle and growl in frustration as I go back to falling and watching. Let the vertigo of the drop keep me focused and aware as I consider ideas and options.


    Hissing and annoyed at just¡­ waiting and watching. Recalling all my lessons with Bulderii and my understanding of the Everflame¡¯s magic¡­


    And every time I¡¯m about to lose sight of the battle, I just Riftwalk back up. And if the momentum begins to move me too fast then I do a quick reversal and have a riftwalk toss me up to kill the speed.


    It¡¯s during one of these that the Duchess starts to lose, and the Red Everflame begins to dominate the flashes of magical power on the roof.


    I growl and decide to just¡­ hit him as hard as possible. As fast as possible. Don¡¯t give him time to react.


    So I twist my body and aim myself at the ground. Tear open another Rift.


    Keep falling, keep building speed.


    Deep breath, melt my soul and all of my Naranggas into a single large tendril.


    It¡¯s heavy. Heavier than anything else I¡¯ve felt in the Dream.


    The next rift is at his side, and a soul tendril the thickness of three trees sweeps out and slams into the Duke at the speed of a bolt of lightning.


    SNAP-CRACK and his soul is shattered into a mush of nonsense shards and hissing shapes while his body jerks and spirals away.


    And then I¡¯m slurping up a boiling mass of soulfire, intoxicated in the pain and pleasure as my body sores across the midnight skies.


    The song is all I know¡­ All that matters.


    A wonderful siren call amidst the dark and cold.


    It swells with love and warmth and life!


    Things I¡­ I lost and need to find again!


    Then I¡¯m crashing into the trees, spiraling and hissing and spitting as bones and flesh are rent while the Duke¡¯s acidic soul just¡­ boils my Amwella from the inside.


    Stops me from thinking or¡­ or healing or¨C


    * * *


    Eventually I awaken to an ocean of pain. Body a twisted and horrid mess.


    Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t breath. Can¡¯t move. The cold gathers, the tendrils of rot reach up to¨C


    ¡°Sing what healing you need.¡± Comes the purring command of my Dark Goddess. Hand laying itself upon the brand on my flank.


    When I can only sort of gurgle my reply the curse stings¡­ Hard.


    Harder than ever before.


    So I¡­ I force out a tongueless whimpering of song, a little sobbing wail. And slowly my body cracks and twists back into shape. Song and Amwella fire burning hot against the cold and rot.


    But not the tongue, not the burns. I mean to keep those fresh and wailing for¡­ I¡¯m not sure. Probably until I forget where I even got them I guess. Till their horrid lessons sing evermore within my soul.


    Eventually things have bent and broken themselves back into shapes that let me move, and I¡¯m fighting to sit up to regard my dark goddess who sits before me. Melting my huge nonsense Naranggas back into about¡­ two dozen medium ones.


    Still so much smaller than Thendra¡¯s eternity of soulfire tendrils¡­


    A long pause, and¡­ and I suddenly am thinking back on the battle. The¡­ the field of death and misery I wove. The memory I tore from the darkness¡­


    And the Reavers I stole.


    Thendra purrs a laugh. ¡°You bear the weight of that oath well, My Lyra.¡±


    I shudder at her unexpected praise, then... can''t help but wonder at the memories I recovered, turning the question of them toward my dark goddess.


    Did¡­ Can you sense them too?


    She rumbles¡­ I think that¡¯s a yes?


    An eternity of questions turn about my thoughts then. What is that big cold empty space? It was NOTHING like my beloved Blighted Sea! What¡­ was I¡­ how could my Amwella drift after I died? Shouldn¡¯t it have like¡­ just rotted away? Was that a Fae song I heard calling?


    But¡­ before she can answer, there is a crack of broken branches underfoot from behind us, and I turn back to level a glare at Bulderii for interrupting.


    ¡°The Duchess calls.¡± She murmurs.


    Sour nonsense ruins the warmth, and Thendra rises. Holds out a huge hand in offering.


    I sigh and take the help in rising. But¡­ hesitate when they both begin to move.


    Thendra senses it all. My desire to just¡­ stay here. Let them finish whatever agreement they have with Raska and just come back when they¡¯re done.


    ¡°Come.¡±


    I glare down at my talons and torn up leathers. Black tips and burnt flesh gleaming against the moonlight. Shame and soured affections and¡­ and her final threat rolls through me as I stare down at my shredded leather armor and the burned skin beneath.


    Punishment for thinking I deserve or want more than what Thendra¡¯s given me.


    But¡­ my dark goddess commands me to stand at her side. So¡­ I follow.


    A ragged band of scavengers and servants scour the ruined battlefield and begin excursions into the manor. But none of that matters as a flash of blue flame signals the arrival of the Duchess through a Rift.


    Her flame burns brighter than ever before, no doubt infused with the red flame magic the Duke left unbound after I ate his soul.


    I¡­ I can¡¯t meet her gaze, just¡­ stare down at the grass as her and Thendra exchange words.


    None of it matters, and for a moment I think that¡­ that maybe she¡¯ll just ignore me. Keep pretending I¡¯m not here and¨C


    ¡°Didn¡¯t need to send her to help me.¡± Raska eventually growls.


    ¡°I only turned her loose on his forces.¡± Thendra laughs softly. ¡°No commands were given other than to slaughter and feast on our shared foes.¡±


    Raska hisses. ¡°You should have told me she was Fae from the start.¡±


    My dark goddess shrugs. ¡°It was irrelevant, and I¡¯ll not have her nature known to the wider Rifts.¡±


    A long pause, and I feel that blazing gaze roll over my body and soul.


    ¡°If not for our oath I would burn you to cinders, Thendra.¡± She hisses. ¡°Or demand you gift me this Fae so I could melt the skin off her bones for lying to me.¡±


    Thendra tilts her head. ¡°Oh? What did she lie to you about? Honored Duchess? I¡¯ll lay appropriate cruelties upon her flesh and soul if she spoke falsehoods to my ally instead of simply remaining silent.¡±


    Please¡­ My soul begs as I feel my shoulders tremble.


    ¡°Bitch claimed she was human! That she was born wrong and that she was taught shapeshifting magics by some adopted mother to re-shape herself. Like some new Fae family hated and abandoned her.¡±


    A flare sparks as she spits a gob of fire onto the grass between us.


    Out of the corner of my eye I see such a¡­ a horrible cruel grin spread across my dark goddess¡¯ face.


    Just¡­ Stop. Thendra¡­


    ¡°Absolute fucking nonsense.¡± Raska growls, not¡­ not noticing the amusement on Thendra¡¯s face yet. ¡°To compare herself to me and mine. To¡­ to pretend she¡­¡±


    Please.


    The Duchess trails off, blaze tilting and burning hotter when she does spot my dark goddess¡¯s smirk.


    ¡°You best explain what¡¯s so funny, Reaver.¡± She growls, takes a rolling step forward. ¡°Now.¡±


    Please!!!


    ¡°She didn¡¯t lie.¡± Thendra whispers very softly.


    A snap, a crack, and Raska¡¯s flame becomes nothing but a tiny spark. Leaving only her eyes to blaze in the night.


    Just leave it!!! Let her think whatever she wants!!!


    ¡°What?¡± She hisses.


    THENDRA!


    I step over to stand before my dark goddess, my back to Raska. Turning a glare up toward her while my Naranggas twist and writhe.


    STOP.


    Thendra rolls to bore her eyes down into mine. All of her mirth dead and gone. I don¡¯t need to touch her soul to know what they¡¯re telling me.


    Demanding me to¡­ to understand what this is. What she¡¯s doing here.


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ No.¡± Raska murmurs. ¡°But that would mean that she¡­ that she was human and¡­ and that the Fae gifted her a spark!?! That¡­ That doesn¡¯t fucking happen!!! The other Fae would¡­ that goes against Oaths more ancient than¨C¡±


    As thoughts begin to spiral and tears begin to bubble, Thendra reaches out to lay a possessive hand on my head. The gentle touch nearly instantly calms my bleeding heart and soul.


    ¡°She is everything she told you¡­ and so much more.¡± Thendra growls. ¡°Such a shame that your hatred of the Fae blinded you to the scars they¡¯ve left on My Lyra. If you¡¯d sought more than simple rutting you might have discovered the wondrous truths within.¡±


    I feel Raska reel from that, as if my dark goddess struck her instead of simply rumbled truths.


    Thendra knew from the start how Raska would hate me when she found out I am Fae. And that even now this pain is just¡­ a part of her plans for me.


    ¡°That¡­ Lyra, is that true?¡± She whispers.


    So easily did my dark goddess turn the duchess¡¯ cruelty and hatred into a grindstone to temper her tool. To burn away what could have been such a horrid infection within her prize.


    I don¡¯t even look back at her, just¡­ lean into my dark goddess¡¯ touch. Wait to just¡­ do as she asks.


    ¡°Lyra!¡±


    Thendra slides the hand beneath my hood, begins to¡­ to run fingers through my hair in such a wonderful way. Sends shivers down my spine. Every single touch is an affirmation. She¡¯ll never ever cast me away. Never try to take my songs or form or¡­ or lure me into thinking she could ever love me. Always just so honest about what I am to her.


    ¡°LYRA!¡± Raska shouts. ¡°Look at me!¡±


    I don¡¯t. Just¡­ too lost in the touches of the only other soul I¡¯ll ever need. Intoxicated by the promises her every motion sings of.


    ¡°This concludes our alliance, Duchess Raska.¡± Thendra purrs.


    ¡°Lyra I¡­ I need you to look at me.¡± The Everflame behind me demands. ¡°Look me in the eye and tell me you weren¡¯t lying.¡±


    Thendra turns, and Reaves a Rift open at our side.


    And then the air is filled with the perfect scent of the city I didn¡¯t realize I had come to miss so much.


    ¡°No.¡± Raska steps forward, Blaze flaring. ¡°We¡¯re not done h¨C¡±


    I snap a glare back over my shoulder, finally lock eyes with hers. The duchess flinches, and her features go paler than the moon above as she sees¡­ I¡¯m not sure.


    I¡¯ve stopped trying to make sense of my pain. Just¡­ I¡¯ll let Thendra do that for me.


    Thendra¡¯s cruel laugh echoes over me. ¡°You¡¯ll not hear her share truths with you ever again.¡±


    ¡°Please, just¡­¡± Those cerulean eyes don¡¯t leave mine. ¡°Let¡¯s talk. Without her here. I won¡¯t¨C¡±


    ¡°That will be quite the challenge.¡± Thendra mocks, voice full of victory and scorn and hatred. ¡°She¡¯s removed her own tongue.¡±


    Raska¡¯s face twists into one of such¡­ such horror and pain as her eyes dart between us. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Silence and safety over the pain your affections have brought her.¡±


    Raska sputters out. Broken by my dark goddess¡¯ words more easily than any blow I could land.


    Why did I ever even want to talk when Thendra can just¡­ Pluck the important bits from my soul and weave the perfect words!?!


    Just¡­ letting me focus on being the best tool possible.


    ¡°Wait! Lyra, I¡¯m¨C¡±


    But before I catch those final words, we leave this horrid Rift and return to the city of sand and spice.

 Chapter 75: Festivals Upon the Old Road

    <u>CW:</u>


    depictions of slavery, hints at murder and soul feasting. BEG Sneks and another goddess. mupples. Awnya POV!!!


    A sigh, deep and horrible and one that sends such¡­ brumbles across flesh and soul as a Rift larger than most manors slithers open.


    A wash of twisting confliction rolls through me. A¡­ A desire to just¡­ take off the ring. Step down to them. Offer my soul to these two blighted gods whose souls sing of stolen light and warmth that is a horrid siren call to all of my kind.


    I squeeze my eyes shut, grind my teeth, try to¡­ to¡­ Picture Tretion, Nelops, the thousands of souls waiting for me back home!!!


    Fighting through that blighted aura all these horrid things exude, I look back over the scene. The unnatural desire fading like muck beneath a steady downpour of rain beneath thoughts of my lovers.


    The Rift shimmers in the courtyard below. About fifty feet tall and thirty wide, held open by the soul of a large wiggling mass of horrid Amwella. All of it attached to a twisting gorgeous snake¡­ thing wriggling through to drift above the assembled masses. A perfect balance of masculine and feminine features with such a sultry smile.


    Furthonois, godthing of Theradas.


    And at the center of that crowd, a dark palanquin.


    Rising from it, a regal and wondrous form stands at least twelve feet tall. All lithe feminine reptilian grace, completely made up of hovering disjointed black glass that reflects a midnight sky that contrasts the midday scorch above us.


    Dreadweave, goddess of the Obsidian Tundra.


    Turns out¡­ that wasn¡¯t a palanquin. Or¡­ at least it¡¯s not only that.


    I almost hiss as the thing twists and writhes. Joins her body to become a pair of tails and wings and¡­ other nonsense.


    Scariest part? No Amwella. Not a drop. The rumors and lore were true. Dreadweave either has none, or it¡¯s all trapped within the obsidian shards that comprise that body. Sealed from the Dream but still able to control a body of dangerous power¡­ somehow.


    They exchange lilting words and pleasantries. All caked and dripping in threats and insults and seductions. It was apparently always a mystery if these two will fuck or fight or just¡­ get bored and move on when they meet.


    But today is special. A celebration between the blighted god of slavery and their rival god of stars and dust and secret plots.


    2733 souls gifted to the monsters of Theradas. Tribute to their god and enticement for them to cross the Rift they opened to live in her realm.


    I¡­ I want to save these people. Want to toss myself forward in a storm of furious song and soulfire to Reave at these two horrid things that laugh as they toss thousands upon thousands of souls into suffering and agony.


    But¡­ I can¡¯t. A single soul could barely hope to scratch them. And¡­ They still don¡¯t know it¡¯s a Fae that pricks at their workings.


    And if they ever find out¡­


    I tremble softly at the wretched hunt these two would adore hosting. Either¡­ either a celebration and great bounty offered for the capture of my soul. Or¡­ Or they might just decide to fly out after me themselves.


    And at that point only the Fae Wood could hope to hide and protect my soul.


    Tretion insists her manor is secure, and that Dreadweave herself tried to track down a former caretaker. But¡­ two gods working in consort or competition? Could it truly hope to keep them both away?


    A shout, a cry to the assembled on the other side of the rift, and the mass of enslaved are moving forward. That¡¯s my signal to move, or¡­ to watch and wait. Get ready to Riftwalk to Theradas to intercept her.


    The only other survivor of the raids on our settlements...


    Nufera.


    After all these years. I spotted her. Impossibly... It was only for a moment. A brief glance into the upper window of the goddess¡¯ horrid palace as I was getting supplies and more research things for Tretion. But¡­ there she was.


    Alive.


    Took me three weeks to verify that it was indeed her, then convince Tretion and Nelops to consent to my workings. Another six months to work out how I could get her out from her captor¡¯s palace.


    For me¡­ it¡¯s a chance to redeem myself. To save a soul I failed. But... For them?


    ¡°How much does she know?¡±


    We¡¯d been careless with names back then. Probably even hinted or just outright said I was Fae around a few freed souls. So it would be a simple thing to interrogate her or any they¡¯d reclaimed.


    But¡­ a hunt never came. Even as I restarted much more restrained workings a year after we¡¯d sealed up our manor with every freed soul we could re-gather.


    So¡­ either she gave them nothing. Or they didn¡¯t believe her descriptions of my work. Just¡­ too much chance for a girl to lie or be stupid.


    Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    But then¡­ Why is she alive?


    Why is she stumbling along with the rest of the assorted slaves like common chaff? Dressed and clothed in¡­ in the garb of a pillow slave? A soul only fit for consumption and flesh work?


    What path led her here? And¡­ What horrors had she endured due to my failures?


    I hiss as I bounce from rooftop to rooftop, using the leftover thrumming of my long faded song to energize my body and give me hours of excess energy that I will pay for later without a matching healing melody.


    None spare a glance to the ugly thing I¡¯ve dressed myself as. Rank clothes and a dirty wrapping of cloth to hide my face. No mask this time. It¡¯ll thrum with magic that could draw an eye to me. Need to rely on the ring and other trinkets.


    Just¡­ playing the role of another soul wishing to pounce on one of these offered slaves. An open offer to the monsters of the city of spice and sand to gorge themselves upon.


    Nufera is at the gate now. Stumbling through.


    I turn, race back away from the scene, crack the anklet as I weave my mind to direct its workings to carry me through the giant Rift with the first slaves.


    One charge left after this. Then¡­ then a song will be my only escape if my feet and wits can¡¯t spirit me to safety.


    The twisting of the riftwalk causes such a horrid wash of vertigo. This anklet I use is such a crude working compared to my long perfected Riftwalking melody. So much so that I¡¯d have stumbled if not for my body¡¯s blazing fury that pulses through my veins.


    The wretched spice smell jerks me into awareness, and then I¡¯m moving again. Bounding and leaping toward the main street that leads all the way from the highest cliff above the city down to the temple of the blighted god.


    An offer to these new slaves of the city. A call to walk the Old Road. Be consumed as a slave or find another to take your place.


    The main street is still empty save the stumbling group, but¡­ on each side lurks monsters and worse things. All waiting for their horrid god to pass over the group. Their shadow is a blessing to begin the feast and slaughter.


    I growl when I see her, fight to not just¡­ go now. Snatch her up in a wash of song and grace that will carry us both back home.


    But that would be so stupid.


    Fae or no the god themselves is known to take the breaking of this tradition personally. I¡¯d be flayed living and displayed as a warning to all others. Song or no I''m fairly certain I could not escape the sudden fury of this godthing in its own city.


    So I perch atop my roof, and wait. Ready to move the moment an opening presents itself.


    A wonderfully horrid giggle, then the god of slaves and slavery is drifting back through the gaping Rift as black glass moves to take over its upkeep.


    Huh¡­ Well at least they didn¡¯t get distracted with each other.


    Then Furthonois is passing overhead, dipping down So close to the crowd of slaves. Eyes alight with hunger and anticipation. Predator''s teeth glimmering perfect pearls. A hand passes down, caresses a few cheeks and ruffles some hair. Murmurs a few dark taunts that make those around shudder in¡­ in both pleasure and fear.


    Four blood-red eyes dance over the crowd, begin to pass over my hunched form as I¨C


    Their eyes meet mine. And they wink at me.


    The Dreamer Blighted god of slaves and SLAVERS WINKS AT ME!!!


    I freeze, cold sweat drenching my spine. Then the thing is moving past.


    Did¡­ did they just¡­ But... No this ring hides my Amwella! Makes my soul look a little nonsense thing while smothering any ambient little lingering of Fae song!


    But then a roar, and the celebrations begin, and that cracks me from my spiral into terror.


    Just a¡­ a taunt for one of thousands gathered, Little Sparrow, nothing more. They can¡¯t know who I am. If they did, they would have already eaten me.


    Immediately a large form leaps into the crowd, and everything becomes a scattered mess of screaming flailing slaves and monsters. Twisting hauntings of restraint, rivals fighting over prizes, and outright slaughter.


    FOCUS!


    For a moment I¡¯m terrified that she¡¯s already been hurt or killed or¡­ or worse.


    But then I spot her. Slipping between two large monsters, running for an alleyway.


    I back up, get a running start, and launch across the street. Arm feathers flare out from the folds in my sleeves to carry me on the winds. Then I¡¯m landing and running along it¡¯s rooftop, catching glimpses as I focus on tracking and following her.


    And the monsters giving chase.


    I¡¯m about to just¡­ pounce. Sweep the girl up, crack the anklet and pop out. But then shadows lurch out from nearby doorways and a fight ensues between monsters. Leaving Nufera clear to get distance.


    So I follow, wait till I¡¯m sure we¡¯re clear, and drop into her path.


    Immediately pull a wrapping free to expose half my face before she can do more than freeze in terror.


    ¡°Hey! It¡¯s me. Gonna get you out.¡± I whisper. Step forward.


    Her eyes flash with¡­ Yeah. That¡¯s fine.


    She can be mad. And hurt and¡­ and all those things. I failed her. Promised her a better life, then¡­ then let the monsters find her and¡­ and probably put her through such horrid agonies.


    I hold out a hand. She hesitates, looks about.


    ¡°C¡¯mon.¡± I take a step forward. ¡°Don¡¯t have time to really talk here.¡±


    She looks about again. Like¡­ like she¡¯s¡­


    Amwella suddenly feels¡­ smothered. Weighted by a dozen familiar gazes.


    Watcher¡¯s gazes.


    Or¡­


    A growl¡­ and my fingers have whipped out my blade. Amwella pouring into it as I turn to see them.


    About¡­ a dozen incredibly tall women slipping from the shadows and dark places around us. Skin dark and charcoal midnight with glowing eyes of various blighted hues.


    Reavers.


    I step up to Nufera, push her back into the wall at our side. Prepare the anklet just in case, and finish yanking down my wrappings.


    ¡°Woah Woah WOAH!!! There big girls! Your cunt of a boss and I have a truce.¡± I smirk with as much confidence as possible. ¡°This one¡¯s mine.¡±


    That makes a couple of them pause, look to each other in confusion. But others just¡­ it¡¯s like they barely understand me.


    ¡°Hey hey hey!¡± I hiss to the ones that don¡¯t stop, grip my blade in obvious warning. Aim the ring in a much less obvious threat. ¡°Thendra will flay you living if you so much as¨C¡±


    A Reaver to my left is moving, pouncing, I jerk to¨C


    And then her head explodes in a shower of blood and flesh before an arrow as thick as my arm buries itself in the floor at my feet.


    Every woman stops, eyes alight with fear. Then they¡¯re running off, faster and quieter than is honestly comforting.


    ¡°Okay. That works too. I guess¡­¡±


    Nufera is jerking free. Hissing and spitting and¨C


    And glaring. First after the Reavers, then turning to fix that look on me.


    ¡°Hey hey, it¡¯s alright. I¡¯m not like¡­ with them.¡± I assure her, still looking around the alleyways. Trying to¡­ to place where the big cunt who fired that arrow might be. ¡°Just¡­ had an old truce that keeps them off my back. Honestly been almost ten years since I¡¯ve even had to¨C¡±


    She grinds her teeth, taking another step back as she glares at me.


    I pause. Look really close at her expression and posture.


    ¡°Stupid CUNT!!! Why can¡¯t you just¡­ leave me alone!¡± She hisses. ¡°Twice! Twice now you¡¯ve¡­¡±


    ¡°Look, I¡­ I get it.¡± I step closer. ¡°And I¡¯ll stay as out of your life as I can. Just¡­ come¨C¡±


    ¡°No!¡± She screams. ¡°First you steal me from my lover, then¡­ then when they¡­ when you come back they¡­ they dump me among the lowest to¡­ to¡­ Because they know you¡¯d be stupid and try to free me again!¡±


    The cold fear returns. She did tell them. Then they¡­ they laid this trap.


    Stupid Awnya!!! I should have known they¡¯d be patient and playful about this! Using her to¡­ to hurt you and lure you into being eaten and¨C


    Then a monster drops from the rooftops behind Nufera, huge bow in hand.


    Bulderii.


    I raise my blade, furious hiss and song on my lips.


    But the Reaver only raises a hand in placation as she shoulders her bow. ¡°Peace, Awnya of the Fae.¡±


    ¡°Kill her!¡± Nufera jerks around and hisses at the big woman. ¡°Or¡­ or take her to they''ll send me back to¨C¡±


    The words would have cut my heart in half, but then Bulderii presses a hand to the girl¡¯s face and shoves her away to tumble bodily into the dust and dirt. Like¡­ like she¡¯s some useless animal.


    Bulderii steps forward, then bows. ¡°We were not informed of the name of our target. We will withdraw ourselves from this task and contract.¡±


    I aim my blade at her. ¡°Touch the girl again and our oath might just not save you, Reaver.¡±


    Bulderii rises, regards me and Nufera for a moment, then just... sighs. ¡°If I may offer some¡­ advice?¡±


    I want to tell her some things to do with said advice but¡­ manage a polite nod as Nufera sort of¡­ dips into angry sobs as she rises.


    ¡°Leave this city and avoid all Rifts that exist within the spheres of the three for at least a century. Let their interest in you fade from active hunger to more¡­ subdued things. Lest next time you visit you find more dangerous predators at your back.¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡± I spit, suddenly wanting to vomit at the¡­ the wretched blighted taste of spice that drowns this Rift. ¡°I¡¯ll take her and¨C¡±


    ¡°No!¡± Nufera rises. Scrambles behind Bulderii. ¡°Stay away from me!¡±


    I wince, take another step forward to¡­ to what?


    Snatch her up? Force her to live in the Manor? Ruin her life ag¨C


    I shake my head free of the thoughts.


    She¡¯s literally been broken into wanting the abuse they bury her in. I just¡­ just need to get her home and help her find people who can show her how much more she¡¯s worth. That¡¯s what Lyra needed, and Dreamer¡¯s Tits I should have done it. Shouldn''t have¡­ like¡­ given her the chance to mistake the broken desires they fill her with for real choices.


    ¡°I¡­ I Look. You''ll be safe this time. Truly. Not even the wretched gods could get where I mean to settle you.¡±


    Bulderii turns to leave, ignoring the small woman as she looks back and forth between us.


    ¡°Nufera, W¨C Wait!¡± I call to her.


    More monster cries and screams echo from that direction.


    ¡°I hope they catch you!¡± She hisses as she moves to follow Bulderii. ¡°Hope they¡­ they hurt you and¡­ and break you and-¡±


    She starts to run, but I whistle and spit a song of peace and sleeping desires upon her. Catching her as she gurgles and growls. Weakly fighting as I pull her into a close and intimate carry.


    Lyra¡¯s face is all I can see. The agony and¡­ and shame as she endured her torments and¡­ and the pain in her eyes in those final moments as I imagine her despair at finding our beloved watcher dead and gone from the Dream by her hand.


    Tears soaking my cheeks, I sob apologies for all the pain I couldn¡¯t save them both from while singing a Riftwalking song to take us home.

 Chapter 76: Their Desolate Maw

    <u>CW:</u>


    Drinking a wretched brew that hurts. Death. Soul drinking. tossing a captured soul back into slavery. conversations with blighted godthings.


    <u>Ten Years since the Dreadsong Sung:</u>


    The shopkeeper pales as I enter, Amwella quivering in terror. Before I can even lay the coin on the counter he¡¯s shoving the bottle forward. Pleading that I just¡­ take it.


    Stupid. Why would I bother eating such a useless soul? Even the Reaver¡¯s stopped giving me what I need back in the Burning Rifts.


    ¡°G¨C Gift for the Desolate Maw!¡± He stammers.


    I spit and hiss at the title, toss my coin on the counter and take the wretched brew. Then I¡¯m gone, growling my Reaver¡¯s Riftwalk and enjoying the wonderful sting of the curse that prickles at the edge of my ravenous wellspring of Amwella.


    I think Thendra spread that title as a sort of joke. Used it to sell my services to the highest bidder while taunting me to just¡­ embrace the role. So¡­ I bear it. Since it makes her tool more valuable.


    I plop down on the top of the temple¡¯s roof, and survey the city about me as I pull out the blindfold.


    My current target is a weird¡­ like¡­ a centipede person? A former slave who refused to walk the Old Road and has tried to slip back into the city for a brief¡­ something?


    I don¡¯t know.


    I don¡¯t care.


    It won¡¯t matter when I rip their soul out and¨C


    A gurgling growl rumbles from my tongueless mouth as I wrap the blindfold around my eyes and consider my instructions.


    ¡°You are not to kill this escaped slave, my Lyra.¡± Thendra had purred, taking my chin between two fingers as she felt my mind drifting away from the details of the soul I needed to hunt. ¡°You will bring them to the temple. Drop them at the god¡¯s steps, accept the trinket they offer, then return it to me.¡±


    I sigh, but¡­ can¡¯t help but lean into the touch. Thrumming with the things I expect her to reward me with after I return.


    She rumbles an affirmation. Then sets me loose.


    Blindfold set, I reach over and unstopper the bottle. Shift it to sit between my legs and I¡­ I steady myself.


    This is not going to be a good pain.


    Deep breath.


    Consider Thendra¡¯s promises and¡­ and the soulfire that sits around my target.


    Then I down the entire horrid bottle.


    Not having a tongue helps but¡­. Ugh¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits!!! This is always so bad.


    But¡­ I need it.


    Mind throbs, tummy turns over, and like always I have to fight hard not to just¡­ vomit.


    Amwella sight drowns me without my willing it into focus, blending into my Naranggas senses as they stretch and weave and¡­. And wash out over the city. Walls and flesh just¡­ don¡¯t matter as the brew burns through me. Souls and their texture alight and pulse as my tails stretch and snap out¡­ hungry for the a feast they know will end this horrid pain as we search for the flavor of our prey¡¯s soul.


    Tempted to just¡­ have a little snack and go from there! It won¡¯t dull my senses now or¡­ or cause problems. No one will cross me or Thendra or¡­ or probably even fight or¡­ But¡­


    I can¡¯t just feast.


    Plenty here don¡¯t deserve that. And¡­ and I might not stop. Might just¡­ fall into a madness of hunger that would ruin my dark goddess¡¯ tool forever.


    So I focus on the ocean of souls in my city of spice and sand.


    Searching¡­ Searching¡­ Searching¡­


    Riftwalk to a roof near the northern edge.


    Searching¡­


    Now I¡¯m down in the lower levels, hidden with song and midnight toned leather that covers everything now.


    There! In the tunnels. A rare soul of odd twisting patterns unique to their kind.


    It¡¯s too easy.


    It almost always is.


    Riftwalk in. Eat the two guards while wrapping the stupid big bug in my Naranggas as I hiss sounds of threats and warnings.


    My tendril probably feels like a tendril around the throat.


    A warbling whimpering cry from my captive as I growl my Reaver''s Riftwalk, then we¡¯re in the temple of the god of Theradas and I¡¯m enjoying the wash of feeding euphoria that chases off most of the brew¡¯s effects.


    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    A pause amidst the horrid market. Still overpacked with the events of last year¡¯s festival. An influx of almost 3000 fresh slaves into the city.


    ¡°OH! That was so much faster than expected!¡± Coos a rippling seductive voice from above.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits the soul of the Furthonois is just¡­ always such a horrid wondrous thing to behold though. Especially when I¡¯m like this!


    It¡¯s like¡­ a big pretty ocean that falls into the ceiling above and ripples with so many vibrant hues. Not like my blighted ocean but¡­ still so pretty.


    I hold the weird bug thing still, hiss another warning as it wriggles and squirms. The vertigo of my snapping Riftwalk still making them unsteady.


    ¡°One poor soul, for a little trinket.¡± The god purrs, their flesh twisting down toward me as a tendril of soulfire reaches out to solidify into a solid thing as they take hold of the captive.


    Then they just¡­ toss them into the market of submission and torment behind me.


    ¡°A gift to any who would claim him!¡± They call. ¡°And a warning to any who would seek freedom they did not earn!¡±


    I ignore the mess that causes amidst the souls behind me as I notice a few of the god¡¯s tendrils sort of¡­ wobble down and around me.


    Feel a wash of fear and fury and¡­ and almost the burning of the brand of the reforged this very god gifted me as they seem to surround me.


    ¡°Apologies, Desolate Maw.¡± They murmur playfully, ¡°But your quickness has left me unprepared. The boon Thendra asked for is stored within my trove!¡±


    I don¡¯t move, don¡¯t hiss, just¡­ let my Naranggas wriggle my annoyance.


    ¡°Come with me to my private chambers and I¡¯ll see your payment is¡­ well provided.¡±


    That makes me pause. I¡¯m about to shake my head but¡­ Would refusing them be a slight? Cause them to¡­ to not want to hire Thendra? Or¡­ or be mad at her or¡­


    The god¡¯s flesh is suddenly just a whisper away, almost¡­ almost close enough to touch.


    ¡°While you dwell within my chambers, No harm will come to your body or soul.¡± They whisper. ¡°I will not bar you from leaving, or touch you without you explicitly... let''s say pleading for it. At least for tonight.¡±


    That¡­ makes me tremble. Only a little.


    As dark images I can sort of make out along their soul in this hypersensitive state gain some clarity. Things they would love to inflict on me should I ask for it.


    But¡­ I sigh, and hold out a hand and tendril. A brush of flesh and soul on mine, then¡­


    Then I''m elsewhere.


    Barely a hint of vertigo as they perform one the most subtle Riftwalks I¡¯ve ever felt. Just¡­ One moment I am surrounded by the soulfire of Theradas, next I am alone in a room I cannot know the size of. With no souls but ours for as far as I can sense.


    This¡­ practice. This art of¡­ of soul hunting without sight was my idea. Late one night after intense and her perfectly painful feeding I mused about the wretched thing she had me imbibe as those years ago. The memories of an old dead lover plagued me for a bit. But then I remembered how the brew Thendra made me drink had heightened my senses, and how after eating a soul all that pain faded.


    She purred a laugh, and made plans.


    Normally the streets and tunnels of Theradas give me very little trouble to navigate. Just¡­ simple math and memory of the layout in comparison to the souls within. I¡¯ve gotten pretty good at recognizing which people are which and parsing out my targets. Sure¡­ I''ve broken bones a few times, but now I can generally navigate the city without issue with my eyes covered. Even without the brew.


    But here? There is only myself and this pooling mass of rippling Amwella, and from the smell of twisting sweet nonsense I know it¡¯s nowhere I¡¯ve ever been.


    Furthonois purrs, seems to¡­ to settle atop something in front of me. ¡°Do relaaaax! Consider all the things we could do while we wait for Thendra''s prize to arrive!¡±


    I huff and¡­ and¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits. I normally like to sleep this all off in the dark of Thendra¡¯s bed. Buried beneath heavy quilts and even sometimes her big warm arms.


    I reach up and remove the heavy cloth around my eyes. Find myself temporarily blinded and just¡­ overwhelmed as eye senses return in full force. At least the room is dimly lit. I sigh as I let my mind adjust to the sudden flood of sensory things.


    It¡¯s¡­ well it would feel huge if not for the snake god lounging on the big cushion just a few feet in front of me. There¡¯s tables and shelves of¡­ well not books. Nonsense bottles and little whispering items and stuff.


    But I barely notice it all as the four scarlet eyes of the god drink me in. Send such¡­ such brumbles along my spine. I look down and around but¡­ find no other place to sit. None beside the big cushion the monster rests on.


    They pat a spot beside them. ¡°I¡¯d offer you a drink but¡­ you¡¯re drowning already. Aren''t you?¡±


    I carefully walk forward and plop down, sitting as far away as possible.


    After a few moments the god floats to curl to my side a bit. ¡°Lyra¡­ may I call you that? I don¡¯t get the sense you overly prefer the ghastly title Thendra parades you under?¡±


    I¡­ I sort of¡­ nod. Try to answer a yes to both?


    They sigh. ¡°This conversation is going to quite boring if I¡¯m the only one sharing their thoughts. Sooo¡­ You can either regrow that pretty little tongue or¡­¡±


    I pale as three little tendrils from their huge soul reach out to hover around my Amwella. Naranggas wiggle close and work to shield me from the god¡¯s advances.


    They quirk their head, waiting patiently as¡­ as¡­ I just kind of quietly panic. How they might¡­ might use this as a guise to¡­ to pull things from me or twist me or¡­ or think that I¡¯m giving them permission to¡­


    ¡°Lyra¡­¡± They whisper so softly I can¡¯t help but forget for a moment that they are the god of literal slavery and torments. ¡°I¡¯m not going to trick you. I¡¯m not going to hurt you. And I¡¯m certainly not going to take errant thoughts and impulses as permission to touch you.¡±


    That helps¡­ so I very intentionally, very precisely, push away all but one of their tendrils. Then take up the last and pull it close. Only let it just barely touch my soul.


    Furthonois smiles as they begin to sense my panic and confusion and worry and¡­ and everything else. ¡°You really are such a¡­ a wonderful symphony of contradictions.¡±


    I let my confusion just¡­ roll out plainly in my soul at that.


    ¡°A soul full of love and life amidst a sea of agony and pain.¡± They murmur.


    I just¡­ stare. Try to¡­ to apply those words to¡­


    Memories flash. And¡­ and I push their tendril away as my mind falls into the muck. Look down and away. They don¡¯t fight that, just¡­ sit. Wait as I finish bleeding from the wound their words so easily caused me.


    ¡°It¡¯s always nice to find a kindred spirit.¡± They sigh in such a soft tone, and when I glance back up they have such a¡­ look of honest melancholy on their face.


    And they read my disbelief plain that rolls across me with a smirk.


    ¡°You think of me as a simple thing of torments and wroth?¡± Their voice goes¡­ odd. Painful and sad. ¡°You think I planned to end up atop a throne of slaves and slavers when I drank the soul of the last god of these Rifts?¡±


    I¡­ I feel my brow furrow. They giggle at my sudden obvious confusion and confliction. ¡°Did you think to become what you are when you left the Fae Wood?¡±


    I look away. Ashamed at¡­ at the truth of their words. Naranggas curl close. Shield my soul as their Amwella seems to¡­ to move to shroud us.


    ¡°I never did get the full story of how you came to be, Lyra.¡± They purr, ¡°I¡¯d be willing to offer it in trade for my own sad tale?¡±


    I shake my head.


    They sigh, but¡­ nod. ¡°Another time then.¡±


    A long pause passes, and I find myself just¡­ sort of focusing on the ocean of Amwella that seems to pour out like an ocean from this godthing. Watching all the¡­ the colors and shifting of emotions and thoughts and¡­ just how many there are!


    It''s almost¡­ almost seems like¡­


    I jerk my head down to meet their gaze. Wondering¡­


    ¡°Yes?¡± They smirk.


    I let some of my core show, reach out and offer a place for them to touch and sense my question. They politely, but eagerly, reach out to accept the offer.


    Are¡­ are there more of you? Inside your Amwella? Most people just¡­ have a single flow of thoughts or emotions or¡­ whatever. But¡­ you have like¡­ dozens of disparate things going on!


    They grin so widely. Not in hunger or¡­ or anything horrid. Just¡­ like¡­


    ¡°It¡¯s so nice to meet another who sees us so quickly...¡± They reply in what seems to be real joy. ¡°Have you met others who are similar?¡±


    I shake my head. But¡­ us? You weren¡¯t saying ¡®us¡¯ before? Are¡­ Do you prefer to be¡­


    They shrug. ¡°Either is fine. We are one and we are many. And the ignorant chaff gets confused so easily¡­ Took us near half a century to educate these bumbling masses on the nature of gender.¡±


    That¡­ brings up an old memory. Of rutting with others like me and the words and complaints they had when sharing their annoyances with each other about unaccepting people.


    The god catches it, furrows their brow. I push them away but¡­ they¡¯re already puzzling and my fairly obvious thoughts.


    ¡°Thendra was spending time in¡­ Predion. Correct? And¡­ Oh! Did you manage to meet the Everflame Raska?¡±


    I look down, fight off a hiss.


    ¡°Such an interesting girl, wonderful taste in companions. I¡¯d love to just¡­ gobble them all up from the stories and descriptions I¡¯ve ga¨C¡±


    I¡¯m rising, pushing past them. Fighting down a shaking anger.


    I¡¯m making the same mistakes!!! Letting anyone but Thendra see my soul. And to the literal god of slaves! How stupid can I be!!!


    ¡°Had a falling out did you?¡± They murmur, but¡­ not unkindly. Or so it seems.


    I glare back at them, as the godthing raises an eyebrow. ¡°It¡¯s a normal thing. Give it a few decades and you¡¯ll probably fall back into each other''s arms for a time. The Everflames are prone to outbursts of fury and passion.¡±


    I turn away. Done with their prying.


    Within a few moments there is a pop, and when I turn back the god holds a small box in one hand.


    ¡°Thank you for your time and quick work Lyra, I look forward to all our future... conversations.¡±


    I snatch the prize from their hands, and focus on the growling song I¡¯ll need to escape. For a moment there is a¡­ a resistance. A muffling to my Reaver''s Riftwalk rolling out from the beings that brought me here.


    But then the will of this god softens, and I¡¯m allowed to leave. End up landing on some rooftop I like. For a while I just stand there. Quietly growling and¡­ and hissing at my own stupidity. At how easily the blighted god picked at things that¡­ that still hurt SO much!


    Need to work harder to¡­ to cut out all those weak parts. Smother whatever nonsense makes me want such soft venomous affections.


    Such are my thoughts and musing as I slide down the edge of the roof and¡­ and just decide to walk home. Let the spice of Theradas and the mulling of souls calm my mind and rot my heart.


    Feel all their hate and fear and despair. Both in general and¡­ and especially as they see me.


    Drink it in¡­ just¡­ just like I did before when I drifted in my sea of blight. Let the Rot and Ruin seep into my soul, wash away all those stupid things!!!


    But... With each step those old burns rub against my heavy leathers, and the pain of it pulls me down into the muck of memories. Soon such Dreamer Blighted tears fill my eyes as I make my way back to the monster who promises to distract me from all this pain.

 Chapter 77: When Debts Come Due

    <u>CW:</u>


    Awnya POVs, mention things of VERY rough sex as self-harm (honestly it''s basically just abuse Lyra asks for because she thinks she deserves it). soul brand burning. Um.... a girl thinking of her abuser as kind when she''s literally the worst.


    ¡°So¡­ who has it?¡± I ask excitedly.


    The bubbling anxiety I see wriggling through Tretion¡¯s tendrils finally reaches her lips. ¡°Well¡­ From my records, the only copy of the journal was kept by my grandmother¡¯s estate in Theradas.¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°Ah.¡± I huff. Fight so hard to not just¡­ scream in despair and fury.


    So close. We¡¯re so Dreamer Tit fucking close!!!!


    Tretion¡¯s puzzled it out! Just needs the¡­ the resonance or¡­ something. A sort of Amwella pulsing that she thinks acts as a beacon to the rot. Draws the blighted attention of it like moths to a flame.


    Smother that, or¡­ or change it? She frowns heavily when I use¡­ like¡­ any of these words. Tries to explain things that she ends up tilting into darker incantation words that just¡­ really kinda hurt to listen to.


    But if I get this last thing done, she should be able to walk free of this manor within a few days! A week at most if she needs to play it safe due to the exact things not being easy to parse out.


    Three years¡­ three years of being so close. Knowing that¡­ that there were certain groups that held the last puzzle pieces but would either not share it. Or¡­ or we¡¯d rather eat sand than even consider talking with them.


    But now she has it! And the light in her eyes only faded as that final bit came out.


    ¡°I could¡­¡± I reclaim my smile, pull away from the hopelessness. ¡°Old library in Utekii still likes me. Maybe they have a copy? Or¡­ I mean Heldi might have some ideas as to¡­¡±


    Tretion shakes her head. ¡°This is the only one.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t be sure of that. This cunt surly isn¡¯t¡­¡±


    I trail off as her eyes fall. ¡°No¡­ Awnya this really is¡­ I wish that¡­¡±


    Oh¡­ She wouldn¡¯t have even mentioned this if she thought it wasn¡¯t our only option.


    ¡°Okay. Well¡­ We know who claimed that library and loves books.¡± I touch her hand. ¡°And¡­ I¡¯m on neutral terms with her. I can pop over, make a trade for it. Dreamer¡¯s Tits if you can tell me what to look for I¡¯ll just take some paper and write it down.¡±


    Her head tendrils writhe. ¡°I know¡­ it¡¯s just¡­¡±


    This will require me to return to the city we know is waiting for me, and three years is not near enough time for one of those blighted gods to forget about the Fae who stole from them.


    ¡°Okay then! I¡¯m going in talons out!¡± I put on my most disarming smirk. ¡°They already know my face and name. So¡­ I¡¯m bringing my songs out in full force. Stealth, healing, Riftwalking, the full basket of tricks. Still have a charge in that anklet for a quick Shift too. Will keep the ring on hand. And¡­¡±


    Tretion is nodding, but¡­ is also avoiding my gaze. Not in shame. She just¡­ knows what I¡¯m doing. Trying to calm her with my Fae nonsense.


    ¡°Mask would be¡­¡± she murmurs.


    ¡°Redundant, yeah.¡± I snap my fingers. ¡°My thoughts exactly. That thing¡¯s more my face to these slavers as this gorgeous working.¡±


    She can¡¯t help but smile, tendrils dip in agreement as she glances at my face.


    ¡°And¡­ um¡­¡± Her voice drops low, barely a whisper. ¡°You are taking the stave.¡±


    I freeze, cold sweat touching my spine. ¡°I¡­ eh¡­ Tretion I¡¯m not sure I would even know how to use that thing.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s as simple as your blade.¡± She glances over to the chest she keeps the thing in. ¡°More so, even. It wants to be used.¡±


    Even from here the thing seems to¡­ to growl a song of hungry annoyance from the trunk where she stores it.


    I rub the back of my neck. ¡°Look¡­ I¡¯m not going to use it, and¡­ it¡¯ll just weigh me down and distract me with its really gross song.¡±


    She fixes me with a hard look. ¡°Either you will take every advantage, or I won¡¯t consent to this outing.¡±


    I wince. ¡°Tretion¡­ That''s... you can''t mean-¡±


    ¡°No. Awnya. I hate this. I despise how we must go begging to that monster for scraps of my dead family''s treasures. I have fought and clawed and torn my way to this over the past decade without needing to work with anyone I do not either respect or love dearly.¡± She growls then. Tendrils writhing is such fury. ¡°But this is it. This final thing could only be found by a watcher who probably spent twice my years fumbling about. My kind¡¯s Amwella sight is without compare and Ovellen was obsessed with Fae Lore on the Dead Dreamer and the nature of the soul. I was lucky beyond belief that I even stumbled across this catalog that mentioned her works being kept in my wretched grandmother''s library.¡±


    I nod, hating how¡­ how she¡¯s right to want this. Justified in demanding I take her creation and be ready to use it to...


    ¡°And¡­ I¡¯m so sorry, Awnya.¡± She steps around the desk to take my face in her hands. Not to¡­ not to pull me to look at her. But to just¡­ hold me while she sees the storm this causes. ¡°I¡¯m sorry that I cannot go myself. Blighted slaving gods aside, I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m furious that you have to see that horrible woman again. Might have to tell her what happened to Lyra to even have a chance at getting this tome.¡±


    The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    We¡¯re both crying a bit. Even now.


    Even after over a decade just the mention of her name still hurts.


    ¡°So I will have you entering that city wielding a weapon that can and will shred anyone who would steal you from me.¡± She growls. ¡°Because if you do this, you will never walk the Rifts alone again.¡±


    That¡­ cracks something in me. The sudden very real future where I will never have to say goodbye to my lovers again. That¡­ that I can gift Tretion everything in the Rifts and beyond.


    So I let her take my hand, lead me to the chest, and show me how to use and control the blighted staff of Soul Shredding she created.


    * * *


    I lay broken and gasping for air at the edge of our bed. Body just a¡­ a mess of twisted bleeding flesh and horribly shattered bones.


    It¡¯s nothing new. Sometimes Thendra just¡­ No.


    Sometimes I¡¯M just too weak and too stupid to handle evenings like this. The pain I cry out for a ocean that just¡­ smothers the pleasure she gives me.


    But my Dark Goddess kneels at the side of the bed. One arm resting upon a mangled arm while the other weaves nonsense patterns through my hair. She always avoids any head wounds, save the occasional lip biting, so these gentle affections are a perfect beacon to keep me grounded as I just¡­ bask in her. Only a single Naranggas strong enough to reach out and lay upon her soul.


    Letting all this wonderful pain still all these wretched thoughts and desires. Slaughter all memory of anything and everything that isn¡¯t the storm I feel raging within her.


    At least for this little while...


    And Dreamer¡¯s Tits is she just¡­ perfect. Waiting so patiently for me to¡­ to pull from my stupor before demanding I heal. Watching my horrid little soul and Naranggas boil beneath the pain before even considering demanding that I restore my body and¨C


    ¡°A Fae stands at the entrance.¡± One of Thendra¡¯s Reavers calls from the door.


    I gurgle out a growl. Both considering making this stupid cunt my next meal, and at the possible promise her words tickle my mind with. The thought of getting to devour another warm Fae soul and¡­ and how it might even restore more of that stubborn memory!


    But¡­ My Dark Goddess stills her hand on my head, a signal for me to not do that. Then she purrs without ever pulling her gorgeous jade eyes from me. ¡°Her name?¡±


    The Reaver shakes her head. ¡°A name was not spoken.¡±


    A pause, and Thendra lets out an annoyed sigh that she would not even ask for this Fae¡¯s name.


    Reavers are so stupid when she births them from that weird pool of eck, and like¡­ even with years of work they just¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits it takes such a long time for them to really start thinking well. And with Bulderii gone these past weeks¡­ There¡¯s one less person to teach them how to be people.


    ¡°I¡¯ll attend to them shortly.¡± My Dark Goddess Purrs. ¡°My Lyra, Sing what healing you need.¡±


    A gurgle and pop of annoyance bubbles up from my soul through my lips, and my body is twisting itself back into old shapes. It takes a bit, and by the time I¡¯m able to sit up, the Reaver is gone and Thendra stands by the desk.


    I glare down at my talons. Old horrid memories of¡­ of the Fae Wood and the weird paralyzing flower and¡­ and of another¡¯s father who I¡­ I unwove and how his daughter must hate me so much...


    Can I please stay here? I thrum in quietly from my soul to Thendra.


    A pause.


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but tremble a bit as I radiate grateful energy tinted with shame. How I just¡­ just can¡¯t stop messing things up. How if even one Fae saw and recognized me they might¨C


    ¡°Wear your armor, just in case.¡± She interrupts the spiral of pained anxiety with a chuckle.


    That helps me relax, and I can¡¯t help but dart across the room and pull My Dark Goddess in a warm spiced hug. Practically begging for the hand she spares to run a few gentle patterns through my hair. Just¡­ a silent reminder of her promises. How¡­ how she¡¯ll never risk losing me or causing me useless agonies.


    Then she lets out a soft yet firm thrum of command, and I know I need to stop being stupid and weak and let go. Then she¡¯s gone, and now I sit alone at the foot of the bed. Just¡­ staring up at the ceiling. Trying to empty my stupid head of all the stupid thoughts that might cause me more useless pain.


    * * *


    ¡°Get Thendra.¡± I had spat at the gathering of Reavers in the main area.


    Same group as the one from the last time I was in Theradas, and at least a few of them seem to remember me. Stop others from just¡­ growling and pouncing.


    Lucky for them. This time I¡¯ll not hesitate to whistle a song to make them regret it.


    And then the cunt herself is coming down the stairs, a grin on her lips as her horrid jade eyes meet mine. ¡°Awnya of the Fae.¡±


    ¡°Thendra.¡± I glare.


    A pause, then she purrs. ¡°I apologize for the¡­ misunderstanding at the festival.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not here about that.¡±


    That¡­ I do see a flash of¡­ is that anticipation?


    I grip the stave tighter, gather Amwella up¡­ just in case. I¡¯d counted on our truce keeping her civil. But¡­ What if she¡¯s broken that oath to give me over to the gods who hunt me?


    ¡°Regardless¡­" She nods, eyes locked hard on mine. "I extend to you all manner of hospitality while you''re in my home.¡±


    She¡­ wait. Why does she¡­ She¡¯s waiting for me to pounce!?! Not expecting to strike the first blow?


    Okay. Fine. Good even.


    I drop my bubbling of Amwella, relax a touch. ¡°I accept, but¡­ plan on this being a short visit.¡±


    Her head tilts.


    I let out a sigh. Think of my watcher, and¡­ and the life we can lead once I¡¯m finished here. How I can leave and NEVER have to see this cunt ever again. ¡°I¡¯m here for a book. A thick tome you would have recovered from the watcher¡¯s library. Or information on where it might be.¡±


    A pause, a very brief look of curious surprise, then that horrid grin again. ¡°And what do you offer in trade?¡±


    ¡°Information.¡± I fight to keep my tone as steady as possible. ¡°I¡­ I found her. I tracked Lyra down. And am willing to tell you what happened to her.¡±


    Her face goes¡­ rigid. Grin falls away. Jade eyes bore into me. ¡°Which tome do you seek?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a journal, written by a watcher named Ovellen.¡± I supply.


    ¡°Hm¡­ One of a kind.¡± She murmurs.


    ¡°So is my information. No one else can tell you what I know.¡± I shrug. ¡°And from what I¡¯ve been told this book is not very applicable to most. Mostly years of recordings and observations by a watcher slowly losing her mind. No spells, no Incantations, no blueprints.¡±


    A long pause, and I¡¯m worried I¡¯m about to need to offer her¡­ like¡­ more. But then she surprises me.


    She laughs. And it¡¯s such a horrid thing of real mirth. Deep and sharp and¡­ and It makes literally everyone in the room jerk and step from her in fear.


    ¡°I¡¯ll accept your offer, but only if you¡¯ll share a meal with me as you relay this story.¡± She purrs as her humor fades.


    * * *


    Thendra returns soon enough with such a¡­ a grin on her face. And for a second I am caught between fear and hunger and¡­ and a dozen other conflicting emotions before she pulls a book from her desk and turns to regard me.


    I tilt my head in confusion.


    ¡°They only wish to trade for a book.¡± She smirks, ¡°A prize from the Matron¡¯s estate.¡±


    I sag in relief. Good, They¡­ they don¡¯t know I¡¯m here.


    A spark, a crackle of pain, and the room about me is lost to¡­ to such a weird sensation. One that roils from deep within my soul.


    The branded curse of the Old Road thrumming in fury.


    I curl around myself, not because the pain is somehow unbearable, but¡­ honestly just because I don¡¯t know what this means! How¡­ but¡­ It¡¯s only supposed to get angry when I¡¯m bound! What¨C


    Then Thendra¡¯s kneeling before me, face a mask of blank consideration as her Jade eyes gaze into my soul. Easily spotting the source of my pain.


    She growls in annoyance, ¡°A Boon comes due.¡±


    I jerk to stare up at her.


    B¨C But¡­ that¡­ you mean¡­


    ¡°Furthonois calls.¡±


    I wince but¡­ nod. Rise up and move to finish getting dressed.


    I¡¯ll Riftwalk through the window, avoid the stupid Fae that thought to come get a book from Thendra, and go to them.


    There are no words needed once we both arrive at the stairwell''s inner turn, just¡­ a backwards glance to my Dark Goddess as I leap forth and Reave this wretched Dream apart. Landing in a crouch within the Temple of the god of slaves and slavers.


    Immediately, without preamble and in a single graceful motion I have no hope of reacting to, Furthonois is swooping down to grip my lower jaw and neck in one of their big hands. Not¡­ it¡¯s not something that hurts just¡­ is meant to convey¡­


    ¡°Little Fae,¡± Comes one of their deeper voices as their form shifts a bit. Seems to¡­ to flex and writhe. Grows stronger and more¡­ predator like, and I know that I am speaking to a piece of them that does not regard me with anything soft or kind. ¡°It¡¯s time to claim a boon owed.¡±


    I let out a sort of¡­ gurgle of acknowledgement. Cold sweat on my spine telling me that this is not a Furthonois to upset. The brand at my core sizzles and twists. Doesn¡¯t¡­ doesn¡¯t burn but¡­ but seems to react and wiggle to the big godthing''s words.


    I¡¯ve performed every single task they paid Thendra for me to do. Would¡­ well I doubt Thendra would hesitate to sell my flesh to them for a night of pleasure so long as they promised to not kill or damage me too much. So¡­ What else do I have to offer? Why demand this valuable Boon be redeemed now!?!


    They growl, jaw seems to twist and writhe. Separates at the bottom as a few extra tongues sprout forth. Teeth twist from sort of¡­ mildly sharp things into razors that seem to drip venom.


    ¡°There is another Fae in my city.¡± They hiss, their voice a rolling thing that hums with power as they lean closer. ¡°Bring it to me. Alive. Body and soul as unspoiled as possible. No curses. Now. Tonight. Before it leaves. This is the Boon you will offer me.¡±


    I choke, then¡­ then sort of¡­ grin at the demand as my Naranggas twist and curl in anticipation.


    I¡¯ve not tasted a Fae soul in so long and¡­ What if eating one could restore more of that memory? I growl in annoyance. Just¡­ just not this one, this one is for Furthonois. Will need to find another Fae to test that out on someday¡­


    But for now¡­


    I know exactly where this stupid Dreamer Blighted Cunt of a Fae is¡­

 Chapter 78: A Reaver, Her Fae, and The Storm That Follows

    <u>CW</u>:


    AWNYA POV! Then Lyra POV. Violence. head wounds. capture and being tied up!


    We¡¯re sitting in the entry room alone. A tray of fruits and the weird spiced cider of her manor before me, a tray of some of the same before her. The tome laying between us. She¡¯d let me verify it was the correct one before we¡¯d even sat down.


    ¡°Now¡­¡± She lounges back in her chair. ¡°Tell me what happened to My Lyra.¡±


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits her grin and¡­ and how she still calls her my Lyra just¡­ just makes me want to toss aside our truce and watch her big horrid soul melt away.


    But¡­ I¡­ I can¡¯t. However much I¡¯m glad to be away from my kind¡­ I¡¯m still Fae. Still rooted in the desire to help life thrive. And I can¡¯t risk my death or¡­ or losing this book. I need to swallow this old hatred so I can free my watcher.


    So I keep it simple, leaving out a ton of details. Including how Tretion is alive and well and what piece I used to arrive at the manor. Just the story of a little servant that survived shared with me. How my lover wailed some horrid Dreadsong after losing someone she cared deeply about, and how she was swept into the Blighted sea beyond the Rifts.


    Quick, simple, and with a very obvious desire to be free of this city and my host as soon as possible.


    ¡°And the Fae? How did they take this news?¡± Thendra asks softly after a few silent moments.


    I glare down at the untouched fruit. ¡°Some would have thought me lying to protect her if I didn¡¯t give them a promise of truth in song. But¡­ after so long? I assume they¡¯ve accepted her death and moved on.¡±


    Thendra tilts her head.


    ¡°I only keep in touch with a few.¡± I lie. Chide myself for¡­ for almost letting her know that no one would come for me if I never left Theradas.


    Then I stand, take up my stave. ¡°Is that enough?¡±


    She smirks, nods. Eyes dancing in amusement as she gestures to the book between us.


    ¡°Good.¡± I snatch it up and turn to leave but¡­ pause, turn back to give her my hardest glare. A thing I¡¯d used to make a few slaves and their guards cower in fear. ¡°You¡¯re a cunt, you know that? Lyra deserved so much better than you.¡±


    She doesn¡¯t reply¡­ just¡­ still has that infuriating smile.


    Deep breath, Little Sparrow. I can very nearly hear my dad sigh at my shoulder as my fingers brush the dagger at my side. Feeling the scales brush against flesh. She¡¯s not worth it. Not worth risking your lover''s freedom and the future of those within the manner over very justified spite.


    I jerk around to open the door while my strongest hiding song wraps around me, Amwella already gathered and ready for the Riftwalking song on my lips.


    Time to go home.


    Spiced streets of Theradas wash over me, and I can¡¯t help but take one final breath of the wretched city as my song twists and wiggles, basking in the thought of never returning to this horrid city that devoured my¨C


    Then a monster tears through the bubbling Riftwalk song, shoves her hand down my throat, and wraps my Amwella in horrid soul tendrils as she tackles me to the floor.


    I only have a second to react as a hiss of foul purpose begins to rumble from this thing''s lips.


    Can¡¯t sing, can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t bubble my Amwella into the stave and melt it to avoid the horrid tendrils at the same time!!!


    So I crack the anklet of Dream-Splitting but¡­ can only twist it into a minor thing of shifting! With this things tendrils around my soul it could drag itself into following me home!


    A pop, then a snap, and I¡¯m crashing down onto some random rooftop. Ugh¡­ and then the vertigo hits me like a bear¡¯s clubbed claw to the gut. Coughing I¡­ I fight to stand. Spit the foul taste of flesh and blood that their hand left on my tongue as I look about. This rooftop is like¡­ on the other side of the city from Thendra¡¯s manor. Mostly quiet and... and probably safe. This anklet leaves no trace so I should be good to leave now.


    No idea how that thing got the drop on me but¨C


    A hissing howl, and the monster¡¯s followed me.


    This thing is¡­ It¡¯s¡­ odd. Amwella sight shows such a huge mass of writhing soulfire tendrils clawing after me, while my eyes only see a small kinda androgynous figure wrapped from head to toe in leather and black crab like armor. Smelling ever so faintly of minor spoiled Blights.


    Face shrouded and wrapped. No way to spot the eyes or mouth beneath what looks to be a really heavy wrapping.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits I do NOT want to see what wretched thing lurks beneath!


    I¡¯m leaping away, dragging my stave around and pumping a solid chunk of Amwella into the thing as the monster pounces. The weapon howls and sparks, and an eruption of black lightning tinted with golden starlight rips the sky in two as the monster lands atop me.


    Rot and Ruin, Blighted resonance given an outlet to flair out and tear any soul it touches from the Dream.


    For a good two seconds I¡¯m just¡­ frozen in horror at the magic I just felt come from this thing. MY soul¡¯s song quivering and stuttering in terror and fear and such a drowning sensation of wrongness. But then I¡¯m fighting past the horrid memory to stand and¡­ and get back home and¡­


    For Tretion.


    For¡­ for Nelops and¡­  and all the freed you promised to come back to.


    GET UP AWNYA! GO HOME!


    I rise, trembling as I look about. No body? But... this thing only affects Amwella! There¡­ there should be a body!


    I clutch the staff and¡­ and bubble up my Amwella while weaving a song of hissing frost about me. Prepare to channel another blast woven in a cold artic chill. But¡­ I¡¯m met with only silence.


    Maybe¡­ maybe I scared it off?


    Deep breath and I twist my soulfire into my Riftwalking song, carefully looking about as I nearly finish the¨C


    A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    A screeching hiss of a horrid Riftwalk is all the warning I get before a talon rakes down my face as another snatches the staff as the monster just¡­ pops back into place in front of me before I can even blink!


    I yelp, song broken and shattered. Stumbling back while trying to weave a melody to¨C


    Talon down my throat, slicing into my tongue while I¡¯m being slammed into the ground and pinned. Those horrid soul tails once again wrapping around and around and¡­


    Knife out, Amwella bubbles into the blade, and I¡¯m jamming it into this thing¡¯s side. The Bugflame blade my Old Goat gifted me on the day I told him I wanted to keep walking the Rifts with him after my Fae flesh changes were complete.


    The thing above me writhes and twists. Electric blue glow pulsing and filling this monster with a flood of paralyzing soulfire.


    After a few seconds of struggle It just¡­ twitches above me. Only able to Let out a gurgling growl as all the soul tails go limp, and I¡¯m able to shove it off. Pull that horrid talon from my throat and choke out a healing song to repair any damage.


    It takes me a few seconds to recover while still channeling energy into the dagger I have to clutch.


    This should keep it down for at least a few minutes after I pull it free¡­ but¡­ The thing Gurgles and hisses and warbles nonsense sounds from what I assume is some kind of gross monster mouth. I¡¯m not going to risk it, this dagger normally doesn¡¯t even let something growl like that, and I won''t risk it following me again.


    I twist to rise, take a few deep breaths as I begin my Riftwalking song, channel my Amwella  while preparing to cut off the melody so none can follow me home. But then there is a pulse, a twitch of fury from this thing¡¯s soul.


    Then a¡­ what¡¯s that?


    Something flares. A¡­ a weird red mark.


    A curse? Or¡­ is that a brand?


    I grip the knife tighter, shove more Amwella into the blade. The magic thrums angrily and the monster jerks, hisses and growls louder.


    ¡°Hey there just¡­ stay down and¨C¡±


    The red brand flairs hotter, there¡¯s a flash, and the blade jerks free as if shoved out.


    In a snarling hissing scramble the monster¡¯s on me again. Dagger knocked free and tendrils once again woven tight. I clamp my teeth shut, beginning to hiss out songs of strength and force as I slam palm and elbows up into the thing. Weave Ice and a blizzards'' fury into the strikes. Feel this thing¡¯s bones and flesh crack beneath my bear-claw blows as my soul twists into melting to avoid this things horrid soul tails.


    With a snarl its Talons wrap around my head, lifting it then¨C


    Then I¡¯m pulled through a Rift¡­ and we¡¯re falling?


    CRACK! As we slam into the ground. And all I know is Starlight.


    Wuuuuuuuuuuuuu¡­ I¡­ What am I¨C


    Another shift through a Rift¡­ then we¡¯re falling and¡­


    CRACK! As my head bounces off a wall.


    *    *    *


    I awaken to a soft gurgling growl and¡­ wait. No, that''s not a growl. That¡¯s¡­ there¡¯s a rhythm to it? One I¡­ I think I¡­ is that¡­? But¡­. Uuuugh my everything hurts so much. I think I feel such a horrid knot growing on my head.


    I twist, try to¡­ to move but¡­ I can¡¯t?


    Things bind my wrists behind my back and¡­ and my ankles? I try to talk, to take a deep breath, to¡­to sing my healing melody to¨C


    Gagged.


    My eyes flash open in terror as I feel myself being settled down on a soft surface. Memories of the day flooding back, the book the¡­ the promise song and how¡­


    A monster finally got me.


    Amwella bubbles as I work to¡­ to do something! To try and gurgle out a muffled melody of cutting and slicing and¨C


    Cruel tails squeeze my soul. Not¡­ not hard enough to crack, just¡­ bruise me a bit and stop me from channeling it into a song. A warning from this monster to me.


    Stop.


    I glare up at the faceless thing that steps back from me. I can see the mouth beneath the cloth that gurgles a tune now though, watch as it weaves a horrid song of¡­ of something?


    Magic song? But¡­ Just kinda forces the thing out with sheer will rather than carefully woven Fae melody. But¡­ this things DEFINITELY not Fae! Some dark blighted incantations then? Just¡­ hummed to a tune? That¡¯s¡­ I¡¯ve never even heard of that!


    Lips and skin look so soft though. Save what looks to be some horrid burns on the bottom left side. Wait¡­ Not a monster then? Or just¡­ wearing a pretty girl¡¯s skin?


    I glance about¡­ and I¡­ Oh¡­ this room is way too familiar.


    I¡¯m fuming and wriggling at my bonds to try and tug free. Reaching for¡­ for hidden tools or¡­ but they¡¯re all gone! Even the ones stowed for this very possibility have been picked free!?!


    How did she find them all!?!


    The monster growls at what I jerk up to see is a gathering of Reavers.


    Thendra¡¯s manor. She¡­ She betrayed me!?! Broke her oath like so much rotting driftwood for a boon from a god!?!


    Stupid sparrow! Should have just¡­ snuck in and stolen the book! Left before she could call up this wretched new pet of hers and¨C


    Then a purring rumble echoes, and the cunt herself enters the room. I twist to glare at her but¡­ she ignores me. Jade eyes bore down into the monster as it steps before her, rips off the cloth around her face, and returns the glare.


    And I freeze as my entire world breaks.


    LYRA!?!


    The form before me snaps into perfect focus. Twisted songs and Dream splitting Amwella suddenly so familiar. But¡­ with years of scars and horrors draped atop it. Faint Blight stench to smother anything even remotely telling of a Fae¡¯s nature. Songs just¡­ low pained things of need. No words of our people to guide them. Just a flayed will and¡­ and¡­


    Things horrid and just¡­ too much for me to picture as her when she tried to¡­ to¡­


    Can¡¯t see her eyes from this angle, just the half of her face marred by burns and¡­ but¡­ but that short black hair is¡­  Thendra¡¯s previous amused smirk cracks down on my mind and soul like a mountain. How she¡­ she enjoyed so much the story of my lover¡¯s death¡­


    Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits my mind just¡­ falls apart as I fall into little shuddering sobs of joy and fear and shame and so much more as I get to gaze upon my lost lover.


    Hoping¡­ hope that maybe I can somehow get free and save her this time.


    That I¡¯m not to late.


    *    *    *


    I glare up at Thendra, unable to¡­ to turn back and meet Awnya¡¯s gaze as my shame and fury boils. Work very hard to just¡­ just barely touch her soul. Only squeeze if I worry she might try to weave a song.


    Can''t even begin to deal with her bubbling mess of emotions. Things of... of hate and fury and... and deep sadness. And that was before I even tore off my face-coverings!


    So I turn my muck drenched thoughts toward the woman who looms over me.


    WHY!?! Why make me do this!?! I shriek up through my soul at my Dark Goddess.


    I only realized whose soul I was tearing at after I¡¯d nearly broken her skull open on that third building. Had to fight through the sobbing tears and horrid pains to weave a growling healing song to keep myself from killing another one of my old lovers.


    ¡°I¡¯d already rejected this task years ago.¡± Thendra eyes flit back to Awnya. ¡°I¡¯ve made a pact with this Fae. We are not allies, or enemies. But sworn to avoid conflict with each other.¡±


    Confusion. And then such a wash of¡­ of¡­ of affections for my Dark Goddess rolls through my soul. You¡­ you promised to never hurt Awnya?


    She sighs and ignores my last question. ¡°My oaths are not yours. This is why Furthonois called on your boon.¡±


    But why make me do this at all! Why Awnya!?! Why not just¡­ use the Boon to demand me instead if they want a Fae so badly!?!


    ¡°She¡¯s been a thorn in their side for nearly a decade. Stealing slaves away for freedom. This is to make her body and soul a cruel reminder of what awaits those who spit upon their Old Road.¡±


    I hiss, both in the pain still rolling through me, but also at the impossible demands I find myself between. At how this stupid kind Fae must have freed so many blighted slaves to garner the rage of this city''s dark godthing.


    I¡­ I won¡¯t do this. I¡¯ll go back and tell them, offer anything else they ask.


    Thendra growls in a low and threatening tone. ¡°That¡¯s not how this works, little Reaver. If you fail here, your soul will be forfeit.¡±


    I tremble and look away. I¡­ I¡¯ve been a slave before. I¡¯ll just¡­ walk the Old Road again if¨C


    ¡°Do you truly believe Furthonois so stupid?¡± She very nearly snarls.


    I growl. Thoughts a wash of my stubbornness in this as I glare down and away to avoid her gaze.


    ¡°You will be broken again, shattered and feasted upon. If anything remains it will be a husk. Kept in perpetual agony to serve as a warning to those who would offer a useless Boon to a god. Too weak and drowning in pain and fear to even consider escape.¡±


    B¨C But¡­ I¡¯m still Fae! They could use me and¡­ and my songs and¡­


    Then Thendra takes my chin in her hand like she¡¯s not done in years. Forces me to meet those furious eyes of jade. ¡°The pain they will lay upon you will be spiteful. Pointless. All ends leading to a death you will beg for, but will very likely be denied for years, if not decades.¡±


    I feel my eyes go wide, tears dripping now. As¡­ as I realize¡­ Like an untreated infection this love has festered. Boiled up at the perfect moment to kill me.


    Pulling away from her now slightly loosened hand I¡­ consider other options. But¡­ but none of them will work! I won¡¯t leave Thendra. Won¡¯t ask her to run to the Blighted edge of the Dream for me. But¡­ But I guess¡­ That only leaves me to face the weight of my own broken promises. Suffer as some wretched pillow slave again and¨C


    ¡°No!¡± She snarls, and I jerk back up to see her glare. Such¡­ such sudden anger makes my heart skip three beats as I move to step back.


    I¡­ I¡¯m sorry. But¡­ but I can¡¯t do it! Can¡¯t give Awnya to that horrid thing!


    Thendra¡¯s hand darts out like I¡¯d not seen in over a decade, clamps over my mouth and jaw. Then, nearly roaring her fury, she grabs my Amwella with a mass of her own tendrils, and drags me into her soul¡¯s core.


    Drowns me in the storm. Gives me a path to walk. Shows me what she expects. What¡­ what she believes I can do. By the time she¡¯s dropped me I am sweating and gurgling and hissing in¡­ in anticipation and fear and¡­ and such awe for my Dark Goddess.


    It takes me an eternity to recover enough to even notice Thendra purring as she looms over me, probably expecting my next thoughts.


    Keep Awnya safe till sunrise or¡­ or till I come for her. Whichever comes first. Then let her go. Make sure she gets away safe. No matter what.


    ¡°I will see that it is done.¡± She murmurs. Because this is just¡­ all part of her plan. The next grindstone to temper me against. Turning my love¡¯s useless pain into the fuel to drive me forward.


    I turn back, and finally let my eyes meet golden amber.


    Awnya¡¯s more beautiful than I remember. But¡­ Her skin is so pale. Expression wide and filled with endless tears. I grimace, and wish so badly that I could¡­ re-weave my tongue back. Even if just for this.


    To sing all the apologies I owe her. For hurting her and tying her up. For killing her father. For¡­ For loving her. For letting my affections carelessly hurt her.


    But¡­ My words and songs bring only agony.


    So I approach, kneel down so our eyes are level and¡­ just¡­ stare for a bit. She tries to force words through the gag, but I hush her with a little soul squeeze and a finger to her lips.


    Immediately she¡­ she nuzzles into the touch. Drags herself as close as possible and¡­ and my Dark Goddess¡¯ plan just¡­ solidifies in me as Awnya presses into the best hug she can. A shaking pleading sob emitting from her as I gently wrap her in my arms to return the embrace.


    Hum a soft melody of sorrowful love. The most gentle thing I¡¯ve woven in years as her Amwella tries so hard to pull close to mine and¡­ and radiate affections I can only barely feel and cannot accept.


    I place a single small kiss on her forehead before pulling away. Then glance back at my Dark Goddess. Can you tell her? Everything I¡­ I¡¯m sorry for? Let her know to just¡­ leave and never come back? That the girl she loved just¡­ isn¡¯t worth the pain I bring?


    That all that¡¯s left is a monster?


    A soft rumble of agreement punctuates her next words as her own Naranggas move to replace my own. ¡°Can you avoid distractions this time?¡±


    Jellyfish and infested growths in my soul perk up as I think about where I have to go. Whisper to remind me of the warm feasts I¡¯ve promised them.


    Then I¡¯m moving to the doors and stepping out into the streets that always smell of such perfect spice and warmth.


    For Awnya? I muse through my soul at Thendra as I begin to growl my Reaver¡¯s Riftwalk.


    Of course.


    Always.<u>


    </u>

 Chapter 79: ROARING JOY into The Empty Night

    <u>CW</u>:


    Um... Awnya POVs and someone being tied up more. We... huh.... this chapter is oddly very clean. BUT there are such FUCKING emotions here. Things we did not expect to write and hurt like guck to re-read and edit. But in good ways.


    I try to scream through the gag as I watch her go, filling it with furious pain that she¡¯d refused to let me communicate more than the most basic emotions. But The big cunt¡¯s gotten my Amwella in her grip now and squeezed it to shut me up.


    A hissing of her horrid Riftwalking song, and I know Lyra is gone.


    Then jade eyes drift back to mine.


    I glare through tears at the big cunt. And to my surprise she just¡­ sighs, then settles on the floor beside me. For a while she is content to just sit¡­ let me stew and tremble at the things I just heard.


    Furthonois called in the favor Lyra owed them, for me. For the stupid Fae girl who thought to free a few thousand souls from their blighted slave trade. Now Lyra¡¯s going to break that oath. Offer herself up in my stead. And this big horrid cunt is just going to let her do it!?!


    Why!?! Why didn¡¯t Lyra speak a word!?! How¡­ how were they communicating!?! None of Thendra¡¯s soul extensions touched Lyra but for that little fight in the middle of things!


    I glare my frustrations at Thendra.


    ¡°How long has it been?¡± She purrs. ¡°Since you¡¯ve seen another of your kind?¡±


    I sort of¡­ growl. It sounds so stupid, but¡­ it¡¯s all I have. As I realize how she also¡­ just¡­ somehow saw through that lie too. Knows just how alone I am.


    She nods like¡­ like I answered. ¡°And have you found¡­¡±


    Her voice trails off as my pain and anger at my kind flares up¡­ tendrils seems to¡­ to¡­


    Oh.


    She¡­ She can sense my emotions through this touch!?! Maybe¡­ maybe more!?! I wriggle and squirm. Fight to¡­ to get free of both her grip and these bindings around my wrists and ankles and¨C


    She grips my soul tighter, and a tooth about half as long as my Amwella snaps out, lays itself across my soul¡¯s core. Not cutting, just¡­ a statement. Stop struggling or I¡¯ll pin you in place with this.


    I slump and¡­ and try to empty my mind. Clear out any thoughts relating to¡­ well anything. Just¡­ just let my oldest not Fae songs wriggle through me.


    ¡°I¡¯ve sworn an oath to keep you here and safe until the sunrise.¡± Thendra murmurs, ¡°Then I will personally ensure you are able to leave this city in as good of health as you are now.¡±


    That¡­ What? She¡­ she¡¯s not going to like¡­ kill or enslave me or sell me off?


    She eyes me, smirks at what is obvious disbelief painted across my features. ¡°I would not cause Lyra such useless pain by breaking this promise to her.¡±


    In a fury I just¡­ toss aside restraint and scream my thoughts as loudly as possible through my soul. You¡­ You wretched horrid CUNT! Useless pain? What!?! You¡¯ve been carving her up like some blighted meal to take bite after bite after¨C


    ¡°Consider¡­¡± She leans in close, face filled with such amusement and terrible mocking that I flinch back. Thoughts cut off into a muddle. ¡°Who was it that came to rob her of her form and songs? Who stole her last lover from her?¡±


    I growl again, recover my courage and try to lean closer in challenge. The Fae, my people. But their horrible actions do not excuse what you¡¯ve done to her. What¡­ what you mean to do!


    I feel tears bubbling up again at¡­ at the images of Lyra kneeling before this Rift¡¯s horrid god and¡­ and¡­ and letting it¡­


    WHY!?!?! Why let her sacrifice herself for me!?!


    Thendra''s face seems to¡­ to glow with such victorious pride. ¡°Lyra does not mean to die for you, Fae. She means to slaughter for ME.¡±


    I freeze, feel my eyes go wide. S¨C Slaughter? You¡­ you can¡¯t mean¡­


    Jade eyes shimmer in such disgusting delight. ¡°My Lyra is going to devour a god tonight.¡±


    * * *


    The weird staff preens and coos at my touch. Whispers and begs for me to keep it close and let it feast. The sting from the little Blight-Bug in this stick would kill almost anyone in the Rifts¡­


    Except me. Of course. The song it wails is just a sad little echo from my beloved ocean.


    It¡¯s¡­ not something I expected a Fae to carry. Much less¡­ much less Awnya. But if I¡¯m to Reave the god of Theradas? I don¡¯t mind bringing help.


    Their soul is certainly big enough for every single jellyfish I carry and more besides. So I¡¯ll need more weapons than just this staff. Maybe¡­ maybe even a blighted leviathan if I can figure out a way to carry one back here!


    Next I find Awnya¡¯s little bug dagger.


    If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    Such an odd and happy thing. It drew no blood when she stabbed me, but the little sleepy spirit inside was more than happy to slip the blade into my soul and turn her Amwella into some kind of paralyzing shock.


    The last tool is¡­ the worst and hardest to claim.


    I¡¯d left it in the belly of a thing that now drifts between the Rifts. An old friend I¡¯d wounded and probably killed. Just¡­ just another soul blighted by my love and affections.


    I sigh and gurgle to my jellyfish. Make sure I come back? Don¡¯t let me forget to return when I begin swimming in the ocean? My Riftwalks won¡¯t work since the place will be drowning in it so¡­


    They yip and coo in joy and affections and¡­ and love. But that¡¯s fine. They¡¯re made of literal Rot and Ruin. Worst I can do to them is send them back to their home in the Blight. Almost¡­ just¡­ kinda wish I could stay there with them. But¡­ First I¡¯ll make sure Awnya¡¯s safe. Then¡­ if I somehow survive this¡­ maybe I''ll go back to that sea.


    Deep breath.


    Enough stalling.


    So I hiss open a Rift, and step back into the cold damp chamber where I killed my watcher.


    Immediately I¡¯m met with a rumble, and a hiss from the manor. A warning laid clear to me.


    Go away.


    I can¡¯t help but¡­ but sob a little as I sense the vibrancy and life in it! Weave such joy into a gurgling song of greetings and apology and sorrow. Begging my old friend to just¡­ to let me pass.


    I¡¯m so sorry I hurt you! I need to get something I left here. Need it to save a golden-souled Fae from¨C


    The rumbles jerk to a stop. A¡­ a hiss of confusion and¡­ protectiveness?


    A gurgle of questions. Clarifications. Promises to never hurt them again and to heal any harm left from my painful weaving. And¡­ How do you know a golden souled Fae? How could she have gotten to you?


    A long pause as it considers me. Senses my soul alongside my promises and ugly songs.


    I¡¯m just here for a tooth to bite into prey with, then I¡¯ll leave you alone forever! I mean to save the Golden-Eyed Fae from a bigger monster than me! Please let me enter. I¡­ I know the door won¡¯t stop me. But this is your¡­ um¡­ well it¡¯s your belly and I will not come inside unless you welcome me again.


    Another pause, Then the gateway disappears, and I am bathed in warmth and light and life.


    No Rot, no Ruin, no Blight. Only terrible memories and agony of past mistakes.


    Deep breath and¡­ and I¡¯m both so relieved and confused at what this could all mean. I¡­ I know the manor¡¯s bubbles can clear Rot and Ruin. Which¡­ which means¡­


    I step forward carefully. Staff in one hand, knife in the other. Pull my hood down and scarf away to make sure my vision is clear.


    Is Lenelope alive?


    A scrubble of sound, then I hear voices, spot¡­ Huh¡­?


    I gurgle a song of hiding as three figures wander into the main room. A greenish and striped fluffy person and soul, a short purplish lady with floopy ears, and a horned person with midnight colored fur. Chatting happily as they pass through, then move into a side hallway. None the wiser to my presence.


    Who¡­ who are they? How did they get here!?!


    I swallow, push away all the rising memories. The manor knows Awnya. She¡­ she probably brought people here. Don¡¯t know why but¡­ it¡¯s fine. Just¡­ giving them a home. That seems like a thing she would do.


    Deep breath and I¡¯m about to make a quiet request for it to take me to the vault so I can get my sword and leave these people to their happiness.


    ¡°Awnya?¡± A soft voice calls out.


    I jerk out of her way as she enters the main area. Feel¡­ feel the stave and knife slip from my fingers as Naranggas reach out to touch and hold¨C


    My Watcher


    My Tretion


    My Beloved Bou¨C


    I stumble back, hissing my song of hiding now as I stare in horror at her soul. Not as blue. Fuzzy, with much smaller tendrils than it should have. No curse.


    The manor gave her a soul? SAVED HER!?!


    I¡¯m whimpering my hiding song now as I turn to¡­


    Run. Move fast and hard and stay hidden!!!


    I beg my old home to make me a key, and it rumbles a reply. And bubbles from the familiar seashell shape. Then I¡¯m running again. I¡­ I need to¡­ to get the sword and¡­ and leave!


    Find a door. Shut and unlock, then open. The big weapon is where I left it. Top shelf of the back right aisle. I''m barely halfway through the room before I¡¯m letting my tendrils grab it.


    Need to¡­ need to get out and back to Theradas without letting her know I¡¯m¨C


    I turn to leave, but freeze in horror as I spot the figure standing in the doorway. The dropped stave and blade in her hands, eyes narrowed and perfect tendrils wriggling in worry and anger, she casts about vault. Murmurs a few guttural sounds of command to¡­


    Rumbles shake the room a little as bubbles rise up, clamp down on my ankles.


    No no no no no please! Let me go! I can¡¯t stay here! I whimper through my song. But the manor refuses to let me go, in fact it does the opposite. Bubbles wriggle out from the wall to clamp down on my shoulders. Solidify into a hug.


    Or¡­ or restraints.


    Tretion notices this, sees the odd invisible shape her manor clutches, raises the staff to point at my vague location. Hisses a few words of¡­ of question in the old manor¡¯s language.


    I growl and wriggle, pleas turn into a demand and¡­ and almost threats. But¡­ my inability to hurt them again is clear in my ugly little songs.


    My body shudders as I just¡­ gurgle a Riftwalking screech amidst my hiding melody. But¡­ but it¡¯s like trying to take in a gasp of seawater instead of air! I can¡¯t even shift locations within the manor!?!


    The bubbles hug tighter as my song falls into a tongueless weeping wail for¡­to please let me go!!! Don¡¯t¡­ don¡¯t let her see me. Not like this. I slip down to the floor at some point, try to scrabble back as she approaches.


    My tongueless mouth and all my scars suddenly writhing and itching at the thought.


    Not¡­ not after I¡¯ve become a monster!!!


    ¡°Where is Awnya?¡± She demands at my location.


    My everything stops. She knows Awnya? She¡­ she¡¯s been with¡­


    I wriggle more with twice the fury, try and have my Naranggas squeeze and¡­ and push at the bubbles and¡­ and¡­


    LET ME GO!!!


    The red brand of the Furthonois begins to howl in fury at the manor that would restrain me.


    No! STOP! I try to warn through the song. A pleading thing that¡­ that this brand will flair up and hurt them! Sting all who would think to capture or enslave me.


    ¡°Who¡­?¡± Tretion murmurs, moving to carefully squat before me. ¡°Why does my manor not want me to hurt you? Why did it even let you in here? Where is Awnya!?!¡±


    The curse of the Old Road twists to embolden my soul. Draws predator power and instincts to¨C


    Naranggas still¡­ and¡­ and I have to fight to stop them from reaching out to the watcher. I gurgle and hiss, turn all my attention to restraining them! Keeping my nearly three dozen soul tails from just¡­ just wrapping about her soul and¨C


    But in doing so I lose my hiding song.


    And in a sudden panic I close my eyes and twist it into another Reaver¡¯s Riftwalk, its ferocity emboldened by the curse I earned. My song slamming up against the manor as I snarl my desire for freedom at its blighted will!


    A gasp, then a clatter as the two weapons fall from my watcher¡¯s hands.


    ¡°Lyra!?!¡±


    I can¡¯t stop the sob that wracks me as I hear her whisper my name. Pour that pain and anger and sadness into my pleading wail.


    Even through closed eyes I feel her shuffle closer, and then I¡¯m letting out a hissing growling warning through my song.


    Stay back!


    ¡°Beloved¡­? I¡­ It¡¯s¡­¡± She chokes out.


    I¡­ I can¡¯t love you! Not again! WON''T HURT YOU EVER AGAIN!!!


    She moves closer, reaching out¡­


    STAY AWAY!


    Soft cold hand on my cheek. A whisper of subtle songcraft seems to weave about her, a gift from a Fae to their lover...?


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± She can barely whisper through her own tears.


    Such a song of love and devotion weaves through every part of this watcher!!! Years and years of it that thrum and pulse proudly and openly of Awnya''s love for this amazing soul before me!


    For a moment I think the Manor will break beneath my melody emboldened by that spiteful brand or¡­ or will break me against itself.


    ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re¨C¡±


    But it does neither¡­ Instead, it lets me go.


    There is a hiss and rush of power, and I¡¯m falling. I twist, turn to look down. Tretion and the manor are gone and¡­ and I can see the city of sand and spice twinkling miles and miles below.


    A long pause passes as I bask in the open skies. Letting the last moments'' truths wash through me as I fall. I sob in¡­ in such joy and terror and¡­


    T¨C Tretion¡¯s ALIVE!!! And¡­ and her and Awnya have¡­ They''re together!?!


    I shout such ROARING JOY into the empty night as my Naranggas grasp at the blade that falls with me.


    They have each other! Found their happiness!!!


    The sword is so light now¡­ barely a whisper of weight to my sea of tendrils. And¡­ and I can already feel its soulfire snuggling up to my limbs. Showing me the Amwella channels I can embolden the blade to weave itself with soul shredding death.


    Thendra will keep Awnya safe till morning. Tell her how horrid I am. Make her leave and go back to Tretion. And¡­ and together they can be happy!


    KEEP BEING HAPPY!!!


    The images of that bring such wonderful tears to my eyes. Scene of my two old lovers finding peace and love and... and such... such perfect things with each other! Safe and snug in their manor between the Rifts! This causes me to weep with a joy that very nearly cracks my soul and mind in twine.


    But... then I remember the storm, and the path laid out to me. How... how some wretched godthing THINKS TO TAKE THIS FROM THEM!?!


    I hiss a quick Riftwalk, and crash down atop the temple. My soul filled to bursting with a thrumming passion to pour my everything into protecting what they¡¯ve built together.


    Just let this stupid broken little monster clear the way. Let me REAVE and end the stupid soul that would try to steal life and happiness from the two women I owe more than anything else in this wretched Dream.


    Then... if I somehow survive... I can leave.


    Go back to my beloved sea so I can''t hurt any of them ever again!

 Chapter 80: The Weight of a Broken Promise

    <u>CW:</u>


    violence. soul death. soul eating. threats and thoughts on past sexual assaults. Awnya POVs sprinkles and wiggled between the Lyra POVs!!!


    I don¡¯t shift to stand before the god of slaves and slavers in a hissing whirl of power. No, I appear before the temple''s outer door, just like I did all those years ago with my watcher in tow, and mean to carve a path for my lovers¡¯ freedom and safety.


    Walking the Old Road again just¡­ not for myself.


    The nighttime activities go still and silent as I enter, blade I claimed my first time here whirling about my mass of Naranggas. But unlike before, no one thinks to challenge me. No one steps out to halt my walk up to the steps.


    Furthonois is¡­ They¡­ they¡¯ve kept changing since I last saw them.


    Six eyes. All red and glaring. Four arms, seven clawed and taloned fingers on each hand. Spines and sharp things roll down their body now. They also thrum with¡­ with power. Their soul lays about them like a cloak, rippling and writhing in barely contained fury.


    Still so pretty.


    I stop before them, sword clicks down to stab its point into the floor.


    ¡°Where is my Fae.¡± They growl. Voice is¡­ is low and horrid and brimming with dark promises.


    A thing that sings pain and pleasure and eternal torments to those that displease them. Mouth has split open at the jaw now, those rows of dripping teeth now accompanied with two more on the sides and four large fangs that stick out.


    Deep breath.


    I just¡­ remove my scarf and hood, and glare up at the godthing. Letting my eyes convey the answer we both know.


    You can¡¯t have her.


    They purr, body suddenly very still save the Amwella writhing just behind them. ¡°You refuse to honor your promise, Desolate Maw?¡±


    I hiss, both at the name and question.


    ¡°Then offer your own flesh and soul in payment for a Boon tarnished.¡±


    I shake my head, begin a low hissing growl. The start of my Reaver¡¯s Riftwalk.


    ¡°Wonderful.¡± They smirk.


    And I pounce.


    * * *


    I try to¡­ to force words through the gag, but have to settle for thrumming imperfect soul screams. How is this¡­ how can she be your Lyra if she¡¯s dead!?! She can¡¯t kill Furthonois! You know that! Why send her off to die!?!


    Thendra ignores me, just¡­ stares at the front door that¡¯s been left open. Jade eyes are lazy and contemplative.


    Let me go! Let me help her!


    A purring laugh, ¡°You¡¯d only distract her.¡±


    No! I¡­ I can help! I can¡­ Can¡­


    ¡°It¡¯s begun.¡±


    Wh¨C What? No you¡­ how can you know?


    I wriggle and squirm, thrash and growl and send my soul into melted nonsense to avoid her tendrils bite and grasp. She lets me for a while, content to ignore my struggles that eventually turn into helpless sobs.


    Please¡­ You¡­ you blighted cunt! I¡¯ll give you anything you want. Just¡­ just let me go free¡­ let me help her!!!


    Thendra¡¯s eyes lazily roll back to me, a silent question. And¡­ and I growl through the memory of the promise song I gifted to Tretion¡­ Force myself past with horrid thoughts of what could be happening to Lyra right now. I¡¯ll let you have me! My body, my soul, my anything! Just let me go to her. I¡¯ll give you a promise in song if that¡¯s what it takes!!!


    I have to pause. My head ringing with despair at the promise I mean to break as the roaring need to protect the girl I just¡­ kept failing. Who deserves to have the life and lover I¡¯ve found.


    But Thendra, she¡­ she rolls her eyes!?! So amused and unimpressed with my offering!?!


    I can¡¯t help but¡­ but balk at her flippant rejection. What do you WANT!?! TELL ME and I¡¯ll¨C


    ¡°I want you to wait here, with me, until the sun has risen.¡±


    I growl. Is a Fae¡¯s everything so worthless to you? The loyalty of two of our kind not enough of a prize for your hunger!?!


    She smirks and turns her eyes back to the door in answer. Jade eyes almost¡­ almost dulled. Like her mind is so far away.


    * * *


    Flicker step, cut.


    The Amwella of the god hisses, curls and twists toward¨C


    I¡¯m already gone, Naranggas and blade pulsing with violet energy that tears and Reaves at this blighted thing¡¯s soul.


    But¡­ but there¡¯s so much of them! It¡¯s like attacking a lake or¡­ or an ocean! Anything I slice away and cut is just¡­ not enough!


    So I Riftwalk behind Furthonois. Stab the sword at their heart, just¡­ kill the flesh!


    Their Amwella jerks down, intercepts the blow, begins to wretch the blade from my¨C


    Riftwalk again, brace my body a dozen feet up a pillar to just¡­ breath and consider my options as my sword twirls about my Naranggas.


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    Furthonois hasn¡¯t moved the entire time! They¡¯ve just¡­ just swatted at my soul and body like I¡¯m some annoying bug.


    And now they''re smirking at me. Taunting me¡­ Saying in gaze what we both know.


    I can¡¯t kill them like this.


    I hiss and growl. FINE!


    Riftwalk directly above, drive sword straight down, prepare songs, hope they take the bait.


    The godthing twists up and around, the first movement of their body during this entire fight. Grinning up at me like the mad god they are.


    Three strikes move to intercept me.


    The first, a jet of sickly screaming venom from their mouth to melt flesh.


    Second, a snap crack of their own tail up to break my bones and body.


    And third, a twisting of magic to form some kind of nonsense of green lightning to rend my soul.


    Wailing Pain and Fear and Spite with a tinting of the Melody of Dream¡¯s end, I grin as all three impact at once.


    An explosion of magic and force shoots me back up toward the ceiling, the sheer weight of their attacks returned enough to slam me into the hard sandstone.


    Overwhelmed by such Pain, wondrous and perfect and so much more than I could ever hope to feel I barely¡­ barely get off a¡­ a good Riftwalk before¡­ Stumbling forward I land back on the floor of the temple, but I trip and fall. Eyes and nose and ears bloody and¡­ and gushing. Bones and flesh screaming in more pain than even an Everflame¡¯s fury laid bare.


    A scream, and a howl of pain and laughter, and I twist around to see Furthonois on the move through blurry bloodstained eyes. Tail a little limp, soul torn through by their own blast, and face half melted away to reveal blackened bone beneath.


    But they are grinning madly and they bore down on me.


    In panic I spit a Riftwalk to¨C


    Hands catch my legs, and I¡¯m drug back down through my Rift. Jerking and pulling me beneath the mass of this horrid god as their own will smothers my song. Curse them now! Get blood and gaze and soulfire! Weave a hundred blights through their soul!!!


    Talons slash up to gather blood, Naranggas strike like three dozen snakes, and eyes try to¨C


    Two of the four arms snatch up and pin my talons into the sandstone palms down as the ocean of their soul drowns my petty swarm of tendrils. Then a monstrous jaw locks around my throat to keep me from looking down and meeting their gaze.


    I try to Riftwalk away, but¡­ but they simply press their large writhing for down to pin me. Use their own weight and will to hold me from slipping away.


    Squirming and kicking and¡­ and hissing and even trying to bite the maw that grazes teeth along my throat, but¡­ but nothing¡­ nothing works!


    I¡­ I can¡¯t¡­


    A growl and a low soft voice purrs softly into my neck. ¡°Relaaaax, little Fae.¡±


    I gurgle and¡­ and still a bit. The voice of this godthing spoken so gently and close making my heart skip a beat.


    ¡°Goood girl¡­¡± They nibble at my jaw, teeth just shy of pricking and loosing that venom onto my flesh. ¡°You fought well enough. Gave us the first real pain we¡¯ve endured for centuries. For that, we¡¯re going to give you your death tonight, and not after a century of suffering.¡±


    Of course I renew my struggles. Try to¡­ to pull even a single talon free!


    But all I manage to do is dislocate a wrist, then hiss in pain and fury. Begin to weave a healing song to reknit it and my other wounds.


    A low rumble of disparate laughter echoes from their throat. Most cruel but¡­ but some more giggly. Others even seem sort of sad.


    They''re pressing their soul close then, and¡­ and wrapping it all around mine. Like a hand digging into the sand for a prize, they attempted to just¡­ yank my soul free.


    It HURTS.


    Like¡­ like worse than anything I¡¯ve ever felt! Worse than even the cold tendrils at Dream¡¯s end or the worst bite of my curse!!!!


    I scream and wail, spit litany¡¯s of Spite and Pain and¡­ and Fear¡­ and then Home and lost Love and¡­ and all the things this Dream just never let me have!


    But¡­ but nothing works! They seem to enjoy the little pains I¡¯m hitting them with!


    Furthonois grunts, and slumps back down with my soul after a while of this.


    ¡°We really have been feeding you well. You¡¯ve grown plump and¡­ ripe for the feast.¡± They growl, but¡­ but not in anger.


    In anticipation.


    All their tongues weave about my jaw and neck and face, teasing and wriggling against my flesh. ¡°Seems we get to pull you into one last dance, Little Fae.¡±


    I go still and¡­ and cold and¡­ and eyes go wide as memoires flood me. Twital''s cruel growl and laughter as she uses my body and taunts my weakness.


    The extra pair of arms that were previously bracing their form up slide down, taking my hips in their grasp. ¡°Honestly¡­ Might take a few bites to pull your wonderful soul free.¡±


    No!


    NO!


    NEVER AGAIN!!!


    Thendra¡¯s words roar in my mind as the red hot curse of the Old Road boils against my soul.


    ¡°Next time,¡± She purrs, face serious. ¡°Bite her back.¡±


    The Melody of The End roaring, Spite and Pain and Fear and Infest and Home and a dozen other blighted wordlessly howl out of me. Driven by the madness that only a freed slave can know as someone tries to ensnare them.


    But¡­ but it¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s still not¡­


    Furthonois giggles, all voices unified in delight at my attempts at shoving them off with such a wonderful cacophony of Rot and Ruin.


    Jellyfish yip and growl with me. Infest pulses with hunger. And my family of Blightborn nightmares beg for release.


    Face melting from my songs, Furthonois drags themselves up my body, wrapping my mouth in a horrid kiss as their body and soul press closer than ever before.


    Not to drown my song, but to drink it.


    A pop, and they start to tear a few Naranggas free. Toss the dead limbs away to rot. I hiss in pain. But¡­ but I can¡¯t curse them! Can¡¯t¡­


    The ocean of soulfire crashes down again, wraps horrid writhing tendrils as their flesh begins to twist and move against mine. Begins to pull my Amwella up. Trying to¡­ to slurp up and eat it!!!


    Then I remember the lone claw that drifts in my soul, glimmering against the pain and glow of the brand of this god.


    The first I¡¯d ever claimed.


    So I press close to this blighted slaver god and channel all my fury into the tooth I stole from that wretched Reaver.


    Weave my Shrike of the End into the tooth!!!


    And I stab the soul of the Furthonois.


    They jerk, confused at the sudden soul pain but¡­ but it¡¯s just a small thing. My song is an intoxicating delight to them, so they ignore it and keep shoving their tongues down my throat.


    I start sawing away. Cutting and tearing and focusing all my mind and will into this lone tooth¡¯s bite.


    For while their soul is large¡­ it still needs to remain connected to the body. And only a small bit seems to bind the ocean to this god while the rest floats freely in the air about it. Just like how my core is not my Naranggas, and I can lose each of them without dying.


    By the time they realize this I¡¯m about halfway through slicing through their core and already slurping up the excess.


    The weeping soulflame from them is so intoxicating, a waterfall of pressure and light and warmth and terrible power. The most filling and perfect meal I¡¯d ever¨C


    A thick sea of horrid Blights and Rot bars my path from all that warmth and life.


    Giving me no choice but to just¡­ dive in. Go through!


    But as all my memories fade, I know that if I can just keep swimming nothing can st¨C


    They hiss something, snarl and¡­ and try to jerk back as the first memory from before my death I¡¯ve had since leaving the Burning Rifts is ripped away by Furthonois sudden twisting fury.


    But In their flinch I¡¯m able to tear arms free of theirs.


    Talons flash up and tear into scaled flesh, teeth bite down on their jaw and tongues so I can glare into their scarlet eyes, and soulfire weeping already drowns my soul.


    A perfect pathway for my beloved jellyfish to their feast.


    So I twist my wail into a hissing curse and pour every single Blightborn member of my beloved family into Furthonois.


    * * *


    Thendra¡¯s been so quiet for a while. Her expression blank. Eyes distant and¡­


    I growl at her again. Wriggle and squirm against her horrid soul tail.


    But¡­ but she doesn¡¯t react.


    So carefully¡­. Oh so carefully. I mix a thrum of song into my growl. Focus all my will into forcing a wordless song. It¡¯s¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits its so hard and costs me so much to do this. Without Fae words there is so much energy wasted.


    But then, FINALLY!


    The gag wiggles. Then loosens.


    I spit it out, fight off a choking sob, and prepare to hum a song to¨C


    A huge hand darts out and clamps down on my jaw and mouth. Jade eyes don¡¯t shift, don¡¯t change, just¡­ continue to stare ahead. I try to twist away, but her grip tightens, the blade on her tendril tips and very nearly pricks my soul.


    A growl of warning thrums from her, truly annoyed and without mercy.


    I glare, but¡­ but slump. Eventually closing my eyes to hold back more tears.


    Hopelessness finally settling in.


    I¡­ I can¡¯t escape.


    Just like before¡­ I¡¯m too late to save her.


    * * *


    Furthonois howls in warbled tones of conflicting fury. Some¡­ some feel horrid and spiteful. Others are weeping and pained.


    None stop the horrid god from just¡­ tearing into my flesh and soul. But¡­ that won¡¯t matter. The curses are set, their command simple and unavoidable.


    Become Our Feast.


    All that¡¯s left is to hang on and rip and tear and drink in as much of their Amwella as I can! Slurp up as much of this godthing''s soulfire as possible, wail healing songs and channel my everything else into restoring the horrid injuries this god inflicts as my Naranggas rip and tear into them


    Venom melts my flesh, claws shatter and tear my body. Tendrils of crashing waves pull my soul apart.


    But¡­ Like some deep sea pod we tear away at the god of Theradas, their great slashing wounds worthless against the swarm that gathers to feed. My own healing growls combined with the feasting more than enough to outpace this blighted god¡¯s own abilities.


    I¡­ I lose track of it all very quickly. Beyond pain as I enjoy this feast of Amwella with my Blightborn family.


    And eventually¡­ the god lies beneath me. Twitching and snickering and weeping as my Naranggas pin their soul.


    Feeding euphoria still rolls through me as I growl my healing song, reweaving the damage they did to my body while skinning away the nasty soul drinking venom they¡¯ve coated me with. Even¡­ even managed to reclaim a few Naranggas back before they rotted.


    Still at around two dozen wriggly tails.


    ¡°Wonderful.¡± They hiss, voice a small and almost singular thing. ¡°Such a delight. Let¡¯s hope they are kinder to you than they will be to me. I¡¯d hate for you to choke on them, little Fae.¡±


    My eyes drift open, fresh and healed from the venom that melted them. Just as one of their hands drift up, cupping my cheek as they whisper so softly. ¡°Can¡¯t wait to¡­ to dance with you ag¨C¡±


    But in a flash of sudden rage one of my Naranggas snatches up my discarded soul tearing blade and slams it down into the god¡¯s heart and soul. Splitting and Reaving them from the Dream.


    Flesh goes limp and still, eyes glaze over. Shift from bright scarlet to dull smoke as my tendrils consume their final glowing core of flame.


    I just¡­ stare down. Breathing hard and heavy as I wheeze out my healing song.


    But¡­ but honestly I can stop now. This feast of soulfire will finish off all the major things. And¡­ and I¡¯m so tired.


    My Blightborn Jellyfish coo and yip, radiating plump delight at the meal we''ve shared.


    I smile and reach down. Call the things back into the depths of my soul. Gurgle love and delight as they snuggle close.


    Thank them so SO much for saving me.


    Then I allow myself to slump down a bit in exhaustion. Begin to¡­ to weave a Riftwalking song to return home and¨C


    Jellyfish glow. Wriggling with¡­ with something. Harmony and power and¡­ and¡­


    Then they crack, and their feast of soulflame begins to leak. At first a little trickle I ignore as just¡­ overfeeding. This was such a huge meal and¨C


    But then it''s a steady flow that makes me start to panic. My clutch is a blaze of little flames that radiate uncontrollably! Was the Amwella bad or¡­ or is it hurting them or¨C


    An explosion from each, and a howling sea sweeps through my Amwella in a wave of pain and fury.

 Chapter 81: Betwixt Blighted Memories

    <u>CW:</u>


    Awnya POV, then Lyra POV. Violence, kidnapping, slavering, implications of sexual assault happening, flashbacks from another''s past.


    Thendra holds me close as she tears the wrist bindings free. Then shoves me at the door that had shut itself just as she rose and pulled me to stand.


    Whistling a quick song of healing as I grab at the door¡¯s handles, ignoring the big cunt as I give them a good jerk. It doesn¡¯t budge, and I feel her at my back.


    I twist around, growling and hissing a song of¨C


    A thick tome slams into my chest. Hard enough to knock the wind from me and cut off the song. The journal of Ovellen. Last piece of the puzzle to save my Tretion from her decade of imprisonment.


    I wince at how I¡¯d so easily almost forgot the book as I turn to stare up at Thendra. She¡¯s holding out another bag, a sack of¡­ My trinkets, the¡­ the ones Lyra must have pulled off after she captured me?


    I snatch them away, reach back to grip the handle and try to open the big heavy doors. They move this time. And Thendra just¡­ nods, and turns from me. Begins to walk back up into her manor.


    ¡°That¡¯s it!?!¡± I shout. ¡°You¡­ you¡¯re not going out to find her? To help her!?!¡±


    Thendra pauses to glance at me over her shoulder, a smirk on her lips her only reply. Then she disappears into the depths of this horrid place.


    Mind scrambling I cast her from my mind and take stock. Daggers gone, stave is¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits I¡¯m not even going to think about where that dropped. Need to¡­ ARG! I have to go back to Tretion! Drop off the book. Maybe¡­ maybe get another set of¡­ of¡­


    I clutch my tome close, step out into the rank morning winds, and weave a quick song of hiding amidst a Riftwalking song to take me home.


    Please don¡¯t be too late. Please. PLEASE still be alive!!!


    The manor rumbles greetings of such relief at my arrival, and it¡¯s not until I find Tretion and Nelops weeping by the gateway that I know something¡¯s wrong.


    My lover''s eyes are wide with such joy and relief and sadness as they stumble into my arms.


    ¡°You¨C you¡¯re okay!¡± Tretion sobs, barely coherent in a way I''ve never seen before. ¡°I¡­ I thought¡­ because she¡­ she dropped you dagger and staff and¨C That¡­ that you were¨C¡±


    Dagger. Staff¡­ She!?!


    ¡°Lyra was here!?!¡± I yelp. ¡°Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits WHEN!?!¡±


    Hope sparks. That¡­ that she escaped and came here and¨C


    ¡°Hours and hours ago.¡± Nelops holds Tretion with me as our watcher nods through her sobbing.


    Heart sinks.


    ¡°Rot and Blighted Ruin!¡± I curse. ¡°I need to go. Now.¡±


    I shove the book into their arms. Wriggle free of their embraces, and start to fish out the trinkets from the sack.


    Ring of deflection, beads of fury and focus, grains of pops and snaps¡­


    ¡°Awnya¡­ What¡¯s going on!?! What happened?¡± Tretion blubbers, looking down at the book, then back up to me.


    ¡°Short version, then I¡¯m going. Nelops, get the dagger and stave please.¡± I begin to slip on the trinkets and hum a light healing song to get my body in a good place as she nods and scurries off. ¡°Lyra¡¯s alive, She¡¯s been with Thendra. Dreamer¡¯s Tits!!! I¡­ I even checked that manor years ago. I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t tell you. It was a quick in and out and there wasn¡¯t a trace of songs from any of them. No one had been there in a long time.¡±


    Tretion¡¯s tendrils curl in¡­ in annoyance. But she nods. Understanding why I didn¡¯t tell her.


    ¡°That boon she owed to Furthonois, the blighted cunt called it in. Demanded she capture me for it.¡±


    Tretion gasps, ¡°But that means¡­¡±


    ¡°She chose to fight them instead.¡± I finish when she trails off.


    Nelops is back, passing me the weapons.


    ¡°What!?!¡± Tretion hisses.


    ¡°Thendra, the cunt, kept me bound and gagged till sunrise. I don¡¯t know what happened to Lyra.¡±


    Then I¡¯m turning, almost running back to the gateway. But a hand snatches mine. I wince, turn back to find Tretion giving me such a¡­ such a pained and focused look.


    ¡°I know how stupid and dangerous this is.¡± I whisper. Looking down at the staff that still growls in hunger, then up to the book in her other hand. ¡°I¡­ But I can¡¯t not go. And¡­ I got the tome. That¡¯s the last piece so if something happens you¡¯ll be s¨C¡±


    Tretion drops the book and steps forward, pulls me into an embrace that for a moment I think will be a kiss, but she stops just shy of it.


    Grips my face. Hard.


    ¡°Awnya, my beloved.¡± She hisses as her tendrils wrap around my cheeks and through my hair. ¡°You will NOT sacrifice yourself. Not even for her. You will come back to me.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ Tretion we don¡¯t really have time for¨C¡±


    ¡°NO! I will have a promise in song from you about this or I will NOT let you leave!¡± She¡¯s shaking now. ¡°If you don¡¯t I will burn that book to ashes. Right here. Right now.¡±


    I freeze, my own tears welling up as¡­ A piece of my soul, a part of that old scar that refused to heal mends at hearing that I¡¯m not¡­ She really never considered me a replacement for Lyra. That our love is unique and irreplaceable to her, just as it is to me.


    And so I weave the promise in song, weeping the entire time before heading out to find our lover.


    *    *    *


    A whisper of sand and spice, and suddenly I¡¯m drowning in a memory that¡¯s not mine.


    ¡°NO!¡± I whimper as they drag me across the sands. ¡°Utaka! Please! I¨C¡±


    My Mistress and lover sighs, looking at the guards. ¡°Feel free to gag her until she calms.¡±


    My eyes widen. ¡°B¨C but I¡­¡±


    I see another guard step up, rank metal mouth binding in hand. It¡¯s such a horrid thing. A magical spiteful contraption that binds the mouth and tongue and¡­ and only just allows a slave to breath and drink.


    ¡°Okay okay okay!¡± I plead. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ll stop j¨C just please¡­¡±


    He pauses, looks between the captain and my Mistress.


    ¡°Do what you think is best.¡± Utaka waves dismissively and turns away.


    They decide to gag me, and leave me a voiceless mess of sobbing in the back of the cart as they carry me away from my lover''s estate.


    A gift to the god of Theradas.


    *    *    *


    Stumbling I¡­ I choke and sob as the memory passes. Talons digging into the sandstone.


    Wh¨C Where am I?


    Glance about¡­ see¡­


    The corpse of Furthonois, still staked to the floor by my blade.


    I scramble to my feet, then jerk down and stare in horror at my soul. It¡¯s smaller than it ever has been, just a tiny flicker of starlight. More reduced than even after Thendra¡¯s most voracious nights.  It¡¯s¡­ Why is it so¡­ so small?!? Where are my Naranggas!?!


    Where are my Jellyfish!?!


    I try to¡­ to growl a melody of soul healing or¡­ or something. Hoping that it¡¯s just¡­ hurt a little. That I can fix thi-


    But suddenly, In a flash, my Amwella pulses and explodes out, a wave of bladed horrors and hissing maws and¨C


    And a gathering crowd of curious predators I hadn¡¯t even noticed approaching are given a horrid Amwella death as their souls are ripped free by the sudden and unstoppable wroth.


    Then it¡¯s all snapping back, stolen soulfire colliding into me and sending me into a sprawling mess of feeding euphoria. But¡­ but the heat and warmth isn¡¯t alone. With it comes howling monsters. Predators at my back and hissing such dark threats.


    Looking about, I¡¯m searching for¡­ for the source of the horrors I feel approaching. Spot writhing shapes of ravenous darkness rising from the shadows. I gurgle and hiss in warning and¡­


    No Naranggas to help, just¡­ just¡­


    But then my Amwella surges again a weight of oceans crashing down upon my mind and soul and¨C


    *    *    *


    Another memory. This one is even more vivid than the last.


    ¡°Look at this pretty one!¡± The bandit laughs as they toss me forward.


    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    I skid across the little rug at their feet and it takes a second to¡­ to recover my focus and force my lithe form to float up a little. Unlike most souls walking the rifts, my kind are born without legs. Just a wiggly and long scaled tail alongside the ability to float about a foot from the ground when we focus.


    I turn up my head to glare at the leader of this band of petty slave thieves. She¡¯s not a tall woman, and would be shorter than me if I stretched up enough, even with those tall horns.


    But¡­ My goddess she is strong. All rippling muscles and scars and¡­


    The woman smirks as I stare, eyes roll up and down my already subtly shifting feminine bare torso.


    ¡°And getting better by the second.¡± The leader murmurs. ¡°A Lithy then?¡±


    I want to growl at the¡­ the insult! I am Keshada! Born to be a Lady of the Six Ways! Bred and Groomed for my life. Not just some¡­ some snake shaped pillow slave!


    A pause, the bandit behind me roughly nudges me. ¡°Answer her.¡±


    I glare back at them, pointing to the gag I still wear.


    She is taller than me. By like¡­ a good head. Not thick though. Ripcord strength, with rippling tattoos that glow a bit. And¡­ and I think they¡¯re magic too. That¡¯s what she used to kill my mistress¡¯ guards and drag me here.


    Before I realize even a flash of annoyance she hits me in the gut, hard. My will shatters, and I crumple into the ground. My ability to hover lost to sudden pain.


    I¡­ I try to focus again, shakily rise to float upright again.


    The woman looms over me, grips me by the chain about my neck and yanks me up to meet her gaze.


    Glares expectantly.


    A pause, then I nod. Look away.


    The leader laughs. ¡°I¡¯ll leave her to you then, Vilran. Make sure she¡¯s well and truly broken by the time we take her to market next month.¡±


    M¨C Market!?! N¨C No! I¡­ I¡¯ll tell them to ransom me back to my Mistress. She¡¯ll pay so much to get me! Will forget about this whole tribute nonsense and¨C


    *    *    *


    A gasp, and I¡¯m choking on the sand and spice of my city.


    Wh¨C is the gag gone? Where am I?


    I sit up and¡­ look around the temple. Find¡­ find nothing but corpses.


    What was that?


    Shuddering and letting out such a huff of annoyance and fear at the memory.


    Are¡­ was that Furthonois? They¡­ I mean I know they were a slave before. The Old Road is like¡­ the story of how they broke their chains, killed a god, and took their freedom.


    I guess I¡¯m just¡­ getting some like¡­ memories from their soul but¡­


    I look down at my basically naked body, most of its clothes burned away by the venom, and wince at how small my soul still looks.


    What happened? Did¡­ did someone eat most of my Amwella? Or¡­ But¡­ it exploded!


    WAIT... Is it just like¡­ squished tight?


    Maybe¡­ maybe I can¡­


    Amwella flares, then ripples out in a wave of power that drags me back to slumping into the floor.


    Searching¡­ howling¡­ gnashing and¡­ And the shadows are back. More solid and visible than before. Thrumming with malice and hatred. Coming to¡­ to eat me and hurt me and ravage my everything.


    Panic overwhelms my thoughts as these horrid things approach. Need to escape! My soul is attracting whatever these things are to me!!! Need¡­ need to find help. Find Thendra!


    Without thinking I howl a Riftwalk and throw myself mindlessly away from them.


    But¡­ but the curse stings SO hard! Slams into my soul with a crackling force from places unseen, and jerking my mind into¡­ into messing up the song and breaking my melody. Sends me spiraling madly through the Dream to crash down into¡­


    Into a grove amidst a wash of Fae song. Wonderful and familiar and¨C


    *    *    *


    ¡°Well, well well. Look at you.¡± Vilran pulls the chain to get a good look at my face, turns me from side to side.


    I just¡­ let my everything go slack. Focus on my floating as she inspects me.


    ¡°I expected to find you withered and stinking of your own piss, but here you are.¡± She smirks, pulls me close. ¡°Looking like a snack.¡±


    I¡­ she¡¯d kept me chained and gagged for a week.


    ¡°You¡¯re going to learn to wipe that glare from your face.¡± She¡¯d snarled, chaining me to the edge of her bed. ¡°We don¡¯t have time to re-train a nice pillow slave like yourself, and I¡¯m not going to beat you bloody. So here¡¯s the deal. You either make me feel like I¡¯m your fucking favorite person to wake up to, or I keep you chained and alone for the day and sleeping on the floor through the night.¡±


    It¡­ I couldn¡¯t help it! Waking up every day to the same amazing mistress for nearly two decades and then¡­ and then having her sell you away just¡­ I mean I wasn¡¯t even glaring these past three days!!! Just¡­ just not like¡­ offering her overt affections!


    She presses my back into a bedpost. ¡°I¡¯m going to offer you a choice. Make up for this past week of bad behavior to me, and I¡¯ll take off that gag and get you a decent meal.¡±


    I let my eyes wander to hers. Waiting for the ¡®Or¡¯.


    She steps very very close to whisper. ¡°You¡¯ve wasted a week of my time and I have been very gentle with you. So, either start being a good girl and help me get you ready for the market, or¡­ well¡­ I¡¯ll start getting more creative.¡±


    I glance down¡­ considering¡­


    This body she inflicted me to shift into is¡­ it¡¯s not the worst. I can only assume what horrid shapes another might want me to take. A Keshada¡¯s form is malleable and wonderful. A gift to their lover as much as themselves. If groomed well, we can sense the souls of those around us and shift to becoming more pleasing to them.


    And I was groomed very well.


    All Keshada of the Six Ways are. We¡¯re more than pillow slaves. Treasured lovers and companions all! Bound to Matrons and Mistresses to soothe their every physical and soul ailment.


    Our soft scales and muscles will just¡­ shift and distort at first. Adjust weight and length at first, then height and voice over time. Eventually¡­ eventually even our sex if our lover really wanted it¡­


    Thank the goddess I never needed to deal with that again.


    But now¡­ I can¡¯t stop my body and soul from sensing Vilran¡¯s desires and trying to shapeshift myself to her hungers! A¡­ a smaller form than I¡¯ve had in years. Breasts modest but perky, hair a darker shade, even my voice feels lighter and¡­ and more young.


    I don¡¯t want to shift into this but¡­ but I¡¯ve never needed to control it! My Mistress would keep me close and rarely shared me.


    Vilran sighs, begins to move and¨C


    I jerk up and nod furiously, torn from my thoughts by the sudden fear of what she might do to a stubborn pillow slave.


    She smirks. ¡°That¡¯s a good girl!¡±


    Then she pulls out an ugly key, reaches up, and unlocks the gag. I choke and sob for a second before she reaches up to take my chin in her hand.


    ¡°Now¡­ Show me what you''re worth, then we¡¯ll get you fed and cleaned up.¡± She purrs, pulling me over into her bed.


    *    *    *


    The stink of Vilran and her horrid voice fades to a grove that smells of wondrous bees and their honey. So familiar and perfect. But¡­ but its songs are soft and faded and¡­


    I whimper into the soft grass. Hoping¡­ hoping she¡¯s just¡­


    But I already know what I¡¯ll find. An old home. Abandoned and left to be reclaimed by the forest.


    Such a pitiful wail of soul pain and¡­ and loneliness drifts past my lips as I call out for her as best I can through a tongueless mouth.


    Weeping for the mother who is not there.


    She¡¯s gone. Left her home. Maybe¡­ maybe even abandoned the Dream. All because of me. The disgusting failure who blighted her real child.


    And amidst my sobs and calls for my only family, the shadows find me. Somehow able to pass so easily through the song wards of the Fae Wood.


    I¡¯m barely able to wail a Riftwalk as I claw at the grass. Just let the stupid thing open beneath me and have downward force pull me through.


    Need¡­ need help. I can¡¯t fight them! I¡¯m too tired and¡­ and don¡¯t have my Naranggas!!


    But¡­ once again the curse bites hard, and my shattered song sends me into Rifts unknown as a horrid memory drowns my mind.


    *    *    *


    ¡°Wh¨C What?¡± I stammer at her words.


    Velran ignores me. Cracks her neck and moves into our tent, slips out of her shawl and sits at the desk where I¡¯ve already prepared her evening meal. A feast of better tasting food than any cook in this camp has made for her.


    I¡¯ve worked so hard to be good to her these past two weeks. Shown just¡­ just how grateful a companion and lover I can be! My mentor would preen in such joy if she could see how her favorite charge has adapted.


    But¡­ Vilran¡¯s words. They¡­ they don¡¯t make sense!


    I weave over to her back, deft and trained fingers already working away the knots that¡¯ve formed beneath the flesh from the stress of her day.


    Just¡­ she misspoke or¡­ or just¡­ just doesn¡¯t know what this all means! Bandits are stupid and¡­ and I need to nudge her toward the right path.


    ¡°Mistress?¡± I whisper. I hated calling her that those first days, but¡­ but quickly got over it. Dedicated myself to her and this new life is so easy now. ¡°Did¡­ did I do something wrong?¡±


    She doesn¡¯t even pause as she eats, just shakes her head.


    ¡°Then¡­¡± I nibble on my cheek, careful not to bite too hard. ¡°Um¡­ Why sell me at all? And¡­ I¡¯ve told you I¡¯m a Keshada of the Six Ways right? Not¡­ Not just some common slave.¡±


    She pauses, glances back. Eyes¡­ well not hard but annoyed. Stressed. ¡°No, Lithy. You¡¯re not. Out here you are just a Lithy pillow slave.¡±


    Vilran turns back. A sign that this conversation is over. The horrid thing she called me stings but¡­ but that¡¯s fine. I deserved that. It was clumsy and stupid and unfair of me to spring this on her.


    So¡­ I let her finish her meal while I massage her neck. Draw her up a bath and begin to help wash her hair. She was¡­ reluctant when I first offered. But now she expects it every night and it relaxes her so much.


    ¡°You could probably get like¡­ double the coin if you tell the people at the market that I¡¯m a groomed Keshada.¡± I idly add through the little chattering we¡¯re sharing. She¡¯s already on the topic of how she expects me to pack her things for the trip. So It¡¯s not too much of a thing to slide into the conversation.


    I let her consider my words as I pour cool water to rinse her hair. Reach for the towels to prepare drying her.


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter.¡± She shrugs, leaning back to let me work. ¡°Not my call.¡±


    I¡­ I want to press. But¡­ I¡¯ll wait.


    After what was quite a voracious night for her, and Vilran is settling in to read some book she¡¯s been enjoying while I curl my smooth chilly and scaled body about her, I murmur. ¡°If¡­ You could have Megra send for me. I¡¯m sure I could show her how much better I am than some pillow slave.¡±


    Vilran stiffens at the mention of her little bandit group''s leader, turns to¡­ oh no that¡¯s¡­


    A pause as she tells me with her glare to stop pushing this.


    ¡°B¨C But. I¡­ I¡¯m just¡­¡± I stammer, let a bit of my fear bleed into my tone and eyes. ¡°I¡¯m scared. Scared of¡­ of the kind of people who will want me. What they¡¯ll want me for. I¡­ I don¡¯t want to be fed upon.¡±


    Amwella drinkers. Soul feeders. Such¡­ such a horrid end to endure¡­


    She looks away, ¡°You¡¯ll be fine. No one who¡¯s going to pay the price we¡¯re asking will waste your flesh like that.¡±


    Not¡­ She hasn¡¯t told me to stop though.


    ¡°A Keshada of the Six Ways is a rare thing!¡± I press gently, but still let my voice convey some fear. ¡°You¡­ honestly I was being modest earlier, Vilran! My Mistress back in Utepe paid six times what the best pillow slaves go for! And I¡¯d only had my Amwella sparked for a year then!¡±


    Vilran sighs.


    ¡°Or¡­ why not have Megra keep me! Use me. I¡¯ve done so much for you, I¡­ I can serve the entire camp! Help organize things! That¡¯s what we¡¯re groomed to do. Be everything to our Mistress. Not just¡­ not just flesh pleasure.¡±


    She¡¯s shaking her head now. ¡°No, girl. Just¡­ drop this. Accept your lot in life and¨C¡±


    ¡°Please.¡± My voice is a little panicked now. What I could not change by logic needs must be swayed by the little affections I know Vilran has come to have for me. ¡°I¡­ You know how I¡¯ll be treated. Pillow slaves rarely last a year in these lands. The chances of me getting a good Mistress is¨C¡±


    ¡°Stop.¡± She snaps. And my mouth clamps shut on instinct. ¡°No more. I¡¯m not going to tell you again.¡±


    Bite my lip, and I¡­ I can see her confliction. See her tilting between options. Just need to¡­ to push her.


    I wait for her eyes to drift back to mine, and whisper very softly. ¡°Please.¡±


    That¡¯s it. Nothing else.


    Vilran just¡­ stares. Face goes blank.


    Then a flash of¡­ determination?


    Then she¡¯s setting aside her book and pulling me from the bed by the chain around my collar.


    Moving us through the camp. Her by two feet and me floating behind. Toward the central lanes of tents. And¡­ and I see Megra¡¯s tent! She¡­ she¡¯s taking me to¡­


    ¡°Thank you.¡± I whisper, almost¡­ a sob of grateful¨C


    Then we turn, move away from the leader¡¯s big tent. Toward the common areas and outside hammocks of camp followers.


    My brow furrows in confusion. Wh¨C where¡¯s she¨C


    Then we¡¯re at an odd post¡­ thing. And she¡¯s latching me to it.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± I stammer.


    After I¡¯m leashed to it, she turns a hard glare at me. One with¡­ with such spite and fury and¡­


    ¡°This is the post for our camp¡¯s common pillow slaves.¡± She growls. ¡°Ones too ugly, used up, or fucking stupid to know what they are.¡±


    My eyes go wide. ¡°V¨C Vilran. I¨C¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s all you are, Lithy.¡± She takes my chin in her hands. ¡°And tonight you are going to either accept that and walk away without too many cuts and bruises, or fight it and get really beat up. Then you really will be sold cheaply.¡±


    ¡°Please! I¡­ I¡¯m so sorry I¨C¡±


    She slams me into the post, causing my focus to drip and my body to slump. But she holds me up against it, glaring. ¡°What are you, Lithy? To me, to this camp. Right now.¡±


    I flounder for a bit, wriggle and¡­ and trying to regain my focus so I can float and¨C


    ¡°Yours!¡± I whimper.


    She drops me. Stands over my sobbing form while I barely fight to regain enough of my mind to start floating again.


    Then she leans down, takes my leash, and for a second I¡­ I think she¡¯s going to take me back! That this was just a little scary lesson to prove a point!


    But she only pulls me up to look into her pitiless eyes. ¡°Wrong answer. Make sure you have the right one by the morning.¡±


    And then she leaves me.


    *    *    *


    Choking at the wash of Vilran¡¯s cruelty, I slam down onto the hard stone floor. Whimpering and¡­ and sobbing. Wanting to sing this horrid pain away but¡­ but terrified of the sting of the curse and the shadows that seem to follow me.


    Looking up I find¡­ I don¡¯t know. I¡¯ve never been here before!


    A few women I don¡¯t recognize approach, clad in armor and weapons carefully raised.


    I gurgle out a whimper, scramble to rise, fail. Slump back into the cold stone. Mind and body and soul just¡­ so tired. Fast draining of the will to run or fight.


    But¡­ before anything else happens I hear a shout, and feel a blazing soul approach. Turn to eyes of Cerulean fire and such¡­ such¡­


    ¡°Lyra?¡± The Duchess Raska barely whispers and begins to kneel a few feet from me. Everflame between her horns thrumming and dancing about as her eyes lock onto mine.


    Malicious shadows gather behind her, howling furious threats and hatred.


    A flare of terror and horrid memory sparks my body into one last burst of strength. Then I¡¯m scrambling back, from both her and the shadows, trying to fight to my feet as I wail a Riftwalking song to both help me escape and¡­ and communicate with the woman who gave me the burns I refuse to heal.


    I¡­ I didn¡¯t want to come here! I¡¯m so sorry!!! P¨C Please don¡¯t hurt me again!


    My Amwella thrums with power¡­ cracks forming along its edges now as I hold back what might be another wave of soul-drinking death.


    The Duchess calls out to me. But¡­ but I can only wail the Riftwalking song to try and escape back to Theradas. Curse tearing and Reaving so much of my little soulfire as I tumble through the Dream.


    *    *    *


    I ignore the others as I wait for my turn atop the stage. Just¡­ stare down at the little chain coming out from my collar.


    When it¡¯s time she leads me up and¡­ and starts rattling off things about me.


    Mostly about how my body will shift to match my owners¡¯ desires.


    No compliments for my cooking or¡­ or weeks of pampering her, no mention of my grooming or history of being a Keshada of the Six Ways. Just¡­ Another pillow slave up for auction.


    I¡¯m beyond tears now. I¡­ I closed myself off to it. Just¡­ just like my mentor taught me. My pain and will and desires don¡¯t matter. My thoughts are only valuable so long as they serve whoever holds my leash.


    Then the bidding starts and¡­ and I have to fight so hard to ignore the prices offered.


    All so low, all¡­ all just¡­ what you¡¯d pay for a pretty pillow slave to satisfy a few months'' desires. So many who dwell out here in the wastes enjoy the taste of soulfire and¡­ and will just¡­ gobble up Amwella carelessly when they feel the hunger bubbling up.


    Near the end there is a bid made that exceeds the rest and stifles competition. A generous offer for a pillow slave, but¡­ still a paltry sum and insult to my mentor¡¯s work.


    I can¡¯t bear to even try and find their face in the crowd as Vilran leads me from the stage, takes me to the side room to be chained to a wall beside a row of other sold slaves.


    Awaiting my new master.


    I pray silently to the Dreadweave to bless my soul and give me to a kinder woman who knows my worth and will be overjoyed at her luck at paying so little for a treasured companion.


    When they finally come for me no words are offered, they just¡­ unlock my leash from the wall and lead me quietly and quickly from the auction. She¡¯s tall, hooded, and wearing a cloak to cover a fairly large frame. I¡­ I wince a little at how easily such a woman could hurt me. Either by accident or intentional cruelty.


    Eventually we¡¯re at an inn across the street, and they¡¯re taking me upstairs to a room.


    That¡¯s when I finally take a deep breath and try to offer them a kind smile as they shut the door behind us. Need to endear them to me quick so that I can hopefully survive and live we¨C


    She pulls aside her hood and scarf, and my heart breaks in joy.


    ¡°D¨C Delvia!?!¡± I whisper.


    My mistress''s first guardian, her most trusted warrior and servant¡­ Came here.


    For me!


    I throw myself into her chest, weeping loudly and with abandon as she places her arms carefully on my shoulders, pats and offers me little murmurs of obviously hesitant comforts. But I¡­ I just can¡¯t stop! Can¡¯t help but push my body to begin shifting to her hunger as I smell a bit of my home on her.


    ¡°Furthonois.¡± She grunts in mild annoyance.


    My name! Spoken aloud! It... it''s been so long! I can¡¯t help but nuzzle closer as I whimper, ¡°You¡­ you came for me! You found me!¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Is all she murmurs, still¡­ still a bit reluctant but¡­ I am very good at enticing women.


    ¡°Delvia¡­¡± I whisper, turn up my tear stained puffy eyes to meet her dull gray. ¡°Thank you. For¡­ for coming for me and¡­ and buying me back and¡­¡±


    She shuffles, uncomfortable. But¡­ not from my advances.


    ¡°The Lady Utaka won¡¯t¡­¡± She tries weakly to protect, but her hands are unconsciously already moving down to my lithe hips. ¡°Look this isn¡¯t¡­¡±


    I giggle, snuggle closer. Force all my will into hovering my body up closer to her chin and neck.


    My Mistress had mused about sending me out to reward her first servant a few times. Back then I¡¯d been uncomfortable with the idea and distracted her from the thought. But now¡­ just the idea of making love to this woman from my home is intoxicating.


    She hesitates a little, but then I give the girl one of my best hissing purrs while tilting up to nibble on her. The kind of motions and sounds that could have my mistress spending hours and hours entangled with my body.


    ¡°Pleeeeease Delvia¡­¡±


    And then she sighs and all but carries my form to the small bed, my tail curling about her while my lips find hers.

 Chapter 82: Horrid Scars and Voiceless Agonies

    <u>CW:</u>


    talk of scars, scary magic. depressing thinking. mild talk of addiction twisting mind and soul.


    I can barely keep my song steady as I stare out over the dozens and dozens of corpses littered about the room. The temple of this godthing lays silent, none left alive. Hundreds dead, their souls devoured. And the body of Furthonois lies broken in the center, impaled by Lyra¡¯s old sword.


    She¡­ She did it?


    I don¡¯t end my song of stealth. Just¡­ work to ignore the bodies as I approach the cleared space around the fallen godthing.


    Searching¡­. Searching¡­ for any trace of song to tell me where she might have¡­


    There! It¡¯s¡­ Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tit¡¯s it faint and fading but¡­ Yeah. That¡¯s her Riftwalk. Will never forget her twisted way of rending the Dream after a night of chasing me through them.


    It¡¯s¡­ Huh. Way easier to track if you know the melody to search for. Honestly kinda feels a bit blighted which¡­ Such a small thing will be smothered soon by even this horrid Rifts natural warmth. So I best move fast!


    A quick song, and I weave my own whistling melody and Rift to wherever she went. Dagger and staff raised just in case some cunt tries to jump me. Hoping that this doesn¡¯t just take me back to the Blighted Cunt¡¯s manor¡­


    Immediately I¡¯m overwhelmed by the wonderful lilting of subtle Fae songs and¡­ Wait!


    A simple hut at the far edges of the Fae Wood. Very near to my own little stowaway home. This is¡­ is this Yuna¡¯s old grove? She¡­ Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits! Lyra tried to find her mom!?!


    But¡­ Yuna¡¯s been away for years now. Took Usete to settle with a couple daughters in the Morning Court. Trying to stay away from the elders and their pestering nonsense. Especially when I told her that Lyra had been swept away into the Blighted sea after she thought her lover was dead.


    ¡°Lyra!¡± I shout as loudly as possible as I dart forward and enter the home. Call out a few more times as I dart through the rooms. Searching for any sign of my lover or her songs.


    Nothing.


    I pause, then slowly retrace my steps and begin listening for another of her Riftwalking songs.


    There!


    Another scar. Right atop the other. Almost missed it.


    Weaving a song from the fading rift, I draw myself forward. And almost trip over a woman kneeling right at the Rift¡¯s opening. She¡¯s about Lyra¡¯s height, wearing only a few swirling pieces of dark cloth, and a pair of twin horns with a little blue spark flitting about between them.


    But¡­ oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits those are pretty eyes. Not just like¡­ a neat blue but literally twin blazing sparks wiggling out from her face!


    ¡°Sorry!¡± I instantly yelp as I stumble around her. ¡°Just eh¡­ passing through and¡­¡±


    Looks to be the entryway of a big nice manor. No Riftwards, which explains our easy entry into someone''s home.


    The fire woman jerks and stands, hissing ugly words that seem to jolt her little flame into movement.


    ¡°Woah woah!¡± I raise the staff a bit but keep the blade lowered. ¡°Just¡­ Let¡¯s take it easy! Didn¡¯t mean to barge in. I¡¯m eh¡­ just following a wounded lover.¡±


    That jerks her to a sudden stop. ¡°Lover?¡±


    Her soft voice has a bit of a rasp to it, like she¡¯s eaten a bit of that flame flitting about. Which¡­ I mean from the way her eyes are that doesn¡¯t seem too far fetched.


    Oh well, to each their own! Better than eating flesh and soul!


    I give her my most charming smirk. ¡°Yeah¡­ About your size, shortish dark hair, really pretty violet eyes?¡±


    Her gaze flares a bit as she looks me up and down. ¡°Her name?¡±


    ¡°Eh¡­ Lyra.¡±


    Her expression remains hostile. Almost¡­ like she¡¯s fighting some anger? ¡°You just missed her.¡±


    I¡­ Do not have time for this. Need to just¡­ Rift out and avoid whatever nonsense this spitfire of a girl is nibbling at.


    ¡°Wonderful! I can track her, um¡­ step back and let me just¡­ gonna hum a bit to¨C¡±


    But she doesn¡¯t move, just¡­ glares openly. ¡°You¡¯re Fae.¡±


    Still don¡¯t have time for this!


    ¡°Yup,¡±  I let my easy smirk go¡­ well fairly snakelike I think. Never really looked at myself when I¡¯m this Dreamer Blighted upset. ¡°Now back off and let me help her.¡±


    That makes her jolt for a second, sort of¡­ consider my words. Then she sighs. ¡°Alright, but I¡¯m coming with you.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± I tilt my head, letting the grin turn back to one of calm focus. ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because I¡­¡± She growls, then huffs a good chunk of the anger out. ¡°Lyra and I have history. And¡­ and I owe her.¡±


    I step up and begin humming the fading Rift into a song, and after it starts crackling to life I turn back to her. ¡°What was she to you?¡±


    She grinds her teeth as that little flame moves back to sit between her horns. ¡°Past lover. I fucked it up and¡­ and she still saved my life. So I want to try and help her if I can.¡±


    That¡­ huh. Okay. Definitely a bit of spitfire, but¡­ she¡¯s not lying. Seems genuinely concerned for Lyra and I could really use an ally if I bump into Thendra.


    I nod. ¡°Fine. But honestly I¡¯ve had a rough night and won¡¯t hesitate to drop you in a lake if you try to hurt either of us, okay?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. That¡¯s¡­¡± She glances down, then lets out a huff. ¡°That¡¯s fair.¡±


    Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    Happy with her answers, I turn to finish the song and send us through.


    *    *    *


    I¡¯m caught between weeping joy and horrid pain as the memory fades. Rolling myself into a ball and wailing voiceless sorrows as the storm roars outside. A very loud reminder of the Dark Goddess I seek.


    Such a perfect harmony to the screaming pleas for her to¡­ to save me!


    Help me!


    Fix me!


    All shouted directly into my soul. But¡­ but I can¡¯t see the shard she left, or my curse, or¡­ or even the brand! No Jellyfish to murmur comforts even!


    My sobs blubber and warble in tune with the discordant roars of the storm. But¡­ she either can¡¯t hear me or¡­ or doesn¡¯t want to come. Maybe¡­ maybe doesn¡¯t even want me anymore.


    I¡¯m just too messed up for even her now. Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t imagine how upset she¡¯d be if she saw my soul now. No Naranggas and so so small. Any of her Reavers more than able to pin me and hurt me and¡­ and¡­


    This time¡­ when the shadows come for me I¡¯m just too tired to run.


    Too useless and broken.


    Biting and howling and screaming. Horrid talons and teeth and claws bite into my flesh.


    My mind.


    My soul.


    Even my little spark of Amwella cracks again.


    I plead with them, begging these horrid things to just¡­ just STOP! Please! Let me¡­ let me¡­


    Then a memory burns somewhere deep in my soul. A reminder to me that I have devoured worse things than these petty shadows. And I feel a flash of such Dreamer Blighted ANGER.


    Reavers, Fae, and the blighted sea beyond the Rifts could not shatter me. I¡¯ve walked the Old Road twice and devoured her god¡¯s soul!


    These shadows should be the ones running from me!!!


    Standing¡­ I roar all my words, all my will, all my Amwella¡­ Howling in fury and agony at the Dream that always seeks to destroy and devour everything I am.


    The storm bellows encouragement.


    Shadows tremble.


    Jellyfish coo from someplace I cannot see.


    The brand burns.


    And my Amwella cracks as I drown these blighted things with My Shrike of the End.


    *    *    *


    Lyra is screaming as we find her. Wailing a song of horrible Dreamer Blighted sorrows that It¡¯s all I can do to just¡­ whirl up a song of protection to shield us.


    Where¡­ oh she came HERE!?! Thendra¡¯s horrid Rift of storms? WHY!?!


    The old stones of this room groan under the weight of my lover¡¯s anguish and fury. Bookshelves are already cracking and breaking. Only the weird pool of black nonsense seems to refuse to even ripple at her howling.


    I call out to her, yelling peace and healing and all the love I have for her into my song.


    The fire woman hisses something, her little flame darting out to¡­ to try and help burn away the blight that Lyra is roaring from the¡­


    Oh.


    Watering burning eyes widen as I spot my lover standing at the spooky pool of eck that Thendra draws her Reavers from. Her clothes torn and mostly melted away, half her body a horrid scar of burn wounds. But her Amwella is¡­ it''s so small! No tendrils and¡­ and it looks to be barely a flicker!


    So how is she weaving such a huge thing? The strain of this would leave me an exhausted mess for a week! And that¡¯s not even considering her curse¡¯s sting!!!


    I push forward a few steps with the flame¡¯s help, but¡­ but Dreamer¡¯s Tits is this just like the sea of blight!


    ¡°LYRA!¡± I howl again. ¡°STOP!¡±


    And to my surprise, she does. Just¡­ not from my words.


    Her Amwella cracks, and from it thrums a pulse of¡­ of such fire and heat and¨C


    I reweave my song, fast and sharp, a trick of my Old Hawk for a quick and dirty dodge when something bigger than you can block is heading your way and you don¡¯t have time to move. It¡¯ll leave me exhausted and hurting but¡­ but I know from the overture of this melody that it will kill everyone within range.


    Just like it did back in the temple.


    Grabbing the flame lady and plunging a finger into her odd living fire, I whistle the final note of the Flicker Shift and prepare for pain as I yank us out of the Dream for a few horrid seconds.


    Crack¡­. Wait¡­. Wait¡­ Wait¡­ SNAP!


    It¡¯s like¡­ having every single nerve and muscle and strand of hair suddenly snapped in half and jammed back together, and I am a slumped gagging mess for quite a few seconds as that wave of Amwella feeding retracts back into Lyra¡¯s cracked soul.


    Flame girl is the same, and we sort of jerk up together to watch as my lover wobbles, begins to¡­ to slump and¡­


    And fall toward the pool.


    I don¡¯t know how the flame lady moves faster than my Fae form, but within a second she is at Lyra¡¯s side and pulling her back. Then she cradles Lyra, holds her close in a way that screams of such worry for her. ¡°Hey girl, it¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s okay. I¡­ You¡¯re safe. I¡¯m so SO sorry. For before. I¡­ I shouldn¡¯t have¡­¡±


    But my lover is silent and still. Eyes shut and body limp. Breathing trembling breaths but¡­ very unconscious.


    ¡°Good catch.¡± I grunt as I rise and move up to them as she trails off, humming a song of healing under my breath to try and mitigate the pain and damage of that last song.


    Flame girl stands as well, arms holding Lyra as if she weighs nothing to her thin little arms. ¡°What happened? What was that?¡±


    ¡°Not sure but... She¡¯s had a rough day.¡±


    A pause, and she looks me up and down when I offer nothing else. ¡°I know some good healers we can take her back to.¡±


    I sheath my knife and stow the stave on a belt loop. ¡°None as good as my songs can do. But¡­ thanks anyway.¡±


    A pause as I reach out, but¡­ but she makes no move to hand Lyra over. Seems to¡­ to be grinding her teeth a bit in conflicted angers. But¡­ they seem mostly self-focused as her eyes trail over the burns.


    ¡°I¡¯ll carry her while you open a Rift then.¡± She says only just barely glancing up. ¡°You seem a bit shaky.¡±


    I sigh, ¡°Look, your help was perfect but I¡¯m not sure others at my home will be happy with another guest. I never even got your name.¡±


    She nods, then her little blue spark pulses at her next words. ¡°Duchess Raska of the Everflames. And you have my Oath that I will protect Lyra with my life and harm none in your home that do not offer me violence.¡±


    My eyebrows must touch my hairline.


    An Everflame? Dreamer¡¯s Tits Lyra you really do attract the scary types!


    But¡­ Everflames take Oaths very seriously. Their flame and power literally halves in strength if they break a promise like the one she just laid out. And it was¡­ honestly pretty broad. Easy for Lyra to abuse if she wanted, and¡­ Raska has to know that.


    ¡°Alright. Let¡¯s get her home.¡± I smirk, already thinking that I like this girl. ¡°I¡¯m Awnya, by the way.¡±


    *    *    *


    ¡°Lay her there!¡± Tretion demands as we move into our chambers. Tendrils all a flutter of anxious worry and anticipation.


    I¡­ I can¡¯t help but grin like an idiot as I move to the bed¡¯s end.


    Lyra¡¯s here! She¡¯s¡­ she¡¯s beat up and probably filled to brimming with¡­ with horrid agonies from her time with Thendra. But she¡¯s here now! We can keep her safe! Help her start to heal. A year? A decade? A couple centuries!?! It won¡¯t matter!!! We¡¯ll make sure she¡¯s swimming in warmth and love! So long as she is breathing it¡¯s not too late!


    Raska obeys, moving up to and laying Lyra down on the bed with a gentle regard that still surprises me. Then she hesitates for a moment, eyes rolling over the burns again.


    That¡­ worries me a bit. Makes my grin sour. Everflames are sort of a wild bunch that my Old Goat tried to steer us from.


    ¡°They can clear their own Blight with their stolen magic, love to hold grudges, and tend to let their anger flare out uncontrollably.¡± He¡¯d growled as we skipped through one of their odd Rifts at the edge of Dreadweave¡¯s territory. A place filled with big melted rock sculptures and twisting blackened trees. ¡°If you have to work with one, get an Oath out of them. Doesn¡¯t have to be big or anything. Just¡­ don¡¯t attack me unless I hit you first. They know our kind abhor killing and will be quick to accept such a simple thing if they mean well.¡±


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits I miss him.


    He¡¯d¡­ if not for the curse he¡­ he would be such a help right now. Would have browbeat the other Fae elders into stopping their nonsense and helping Lyra.


    ¡°Okay so¡­ Just let me know where to direct my melody.¡± I shuffle forward to stand beside my watcher just as Raska moves back.


    "Of course, just give me a second to understand where she needs healing the most..." Tretion¡¯s eyes glimmer and her brow furrows as she begins to strip off the last of the layers of ruined and worn leather from Lyra¡¯s body.


    They¡­ These look¡­ I wince. Really bad. Lyra is not in good shape. And she¡¯s not even begun to awaken despite all the shouting and movement.


    ¡°These aren¡¯t fresh wounds.¡± Tretion whispers, fingers touching lightly on the twisted flesh. ¡°They¡¯re scars. Old ones. Healed as if¡­ as if she¡­¡±


    Horrid things, they stretch from her left foot up to her chin and lower cheek. Cover leg, hip, part of the chest, all of her left arm, and roll up her neck¡­ Just barely avoiding her ear.


    ¡°Wait what?¡± I stammer. ¡°Like¡­ like she didn¡¯t heal them? Just left them to seal up on their own?¡±


    Tretion nods, face twisting into such a pained thing.


    ¡°Are they magical? Or¡­ or cursed?¡± I ask, preparing a low humming song to touch at Lyra¡¯s burns.


    ¡°No.¡± Raska whispers so softly that if I¡¯d started my song before she spoke we¡¯d have missed the words.


    We both glance up in surprise.


    ¡°How would you know?¡± Tretion asks.


    Raska takes in a deep breath, eyes locked on Lyra¡¯s burns. ¡°She¡¯s Fae, and a soul drinker. I watched her devour a few dozen soldiers just a few days after she got them years ago. She¡­ she should have healed by now. Even without Fae nonsense.¡±


    I start my humming song steady and focusing on her skin. Knowing this but¡­ so many!?! For a Fae to drink souls¡­


    ¡°Even accidentally being the reason a soul is torn from the dream will hurt you, Little Sparrow.¡± My dad had warned. ¡°Be smart, quick and clever. Never let yourself get cornered into making that choice and marring your soul¡¯s place in the Dream.¡±


    ¡°And more than anything avoid Soul Drinkers. That addiction can twist a mind and heart into such Blighted shapes¡­¡±


    ¡°What caused them though?¡± My watcher presses, eyes narrowing as her tendrils still in such a sudden and quiet show of anger.


    Raska visibly pales a bit. ¡°It¡­ it was just a flare. Not even a big thing. Controlled.¡±


    I would press for more answers but¡­ that¡¯s when I notice it. And almost choke on a sob.


    Tretion turns to regard my sudden song¡¯s end. ¡°Awnya? What¡¯s wrong?


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± I spit. ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t heal these!¡±


    Her eyes widen.


    ¡°She¡­ I don¡¯t know! I¡¯ve never¨C¡± I hiccup a gasping whistling tune, take a few deep breaths as the song helps calm my mind a bit. Eyes already bubbling with tears. ¡°Her soul doesn¡¯t see them as scars or wounds or¡­ or anything unhealthy.¡±


    Raska jerks up, eye sparks flaring in¡­ something. ¡°What does that mean?¡±


    Tretion turns back to our lover, face gone from a twisted mess of worry to one of such pain. Head tendrils shaking and tilting down toward Lyra as a hand cups her cheek as she whispers. ¡°She wove these into her soul¡¯s Fae song. Made it a part of her ideal form.¡±


    I swallow. Mouth going very dry as my heart begins to thunder. ¡°Thendra. That¡­ That absolute cunt! I¡­ I¡¯m going to¨C¡± I grip the hungering staff tighter. Let its fury bleed into my mind and¨C


    ¡°Can you check her mouth?¡± Raska whispers.


    A long pause.


    ¡°Why?¡± Tretion freezes, eyes dart up to regard Raska with such cold barely held back¡­ things. All the bad things.


    ¡°Just¡­¡± Raska stammers, her face a twisted thing of such fear. ¡°Please.¡±


    Tretion does as she asks, and gently cradles our lover''s head while carefully pulling her mouth open. Then she gasps and hisses in such pain.


    Raska is pale as snow now, and¡­ and a little green. Before I can ask, the Duchess is storming from the room, soft choking things that sound like gagged sobs of fury echoing as she leaves.


    ¡°What?¡± I whisper, touch my watcher on the shoulder as I glance back and forth between them. ¡°What¡¯s wrong!?!¡±


    She tells me, and I¡¯m immediately wailing a healing song. Trying to¡­ to heal our lover of this!


    But nothing happens. The soul in her sings that all is well and perfect.


    Because Lyra¡¯s ideal form is now one of horrid scars and voiceless agonies.

 Chapter 83: The Matron of The Manor

    <u>CW:</u>


    Second ever Tretion POV!!!


    Discussions of past trauma and abuse.


    Furthonois POV/memory at the end wiff violence/assault (tooth breaking).


    Mention of future assaults.


    I find the Everflame at the outer gate just¡­ glaring at the cold stone door.


    ¡°Duchess Raska.¡± I announce myself as softly as my anger will allow, but I know my headstalks will easily give away my rage to anyone paying even a little attention.


    As much as it pained me to do so¡­ I left Lyra with Nelops and Awnya. Because as the matron of this manor I will not have a danger to it or my lovers wandering these halls.


    She takes a breath, then turns back to regard me. Spark Flame eyes writhing in barely controlled emotions. Quite a few. Anger, sadness, shame¡­ but at the moment their targets are unknown.


    Awnya insisted the Duchess seemed to hold nothing but affections for Lyra¡­ but¡­


    ¡°If you¡¯re to stay in my home, I will know how you¡¯ve hurt my Bound Beloved.¡± I clutch my staff of soul shredding close. Ready to react appropriately to any response she may give.


    Even now, amidst all my own rage and terror and sadness, being able to claim Lyra as alive and here and... and maybe still bound to me once again fills my heart with such joy. But... I will not lose her again. Not to Thendra, not to some horrid godthings, and certainly not to the careless rage of this woman.


    Raska¡¯s face twists into one of horror and shame. Any rage she had crumples at my pointed question.


    Good. Everflames are temperamental, and one who is controlled by their soulbound flame¡¯s wroth instead of in control of it is a danger to themselves and all within their magic¡¯s rage. Oath sworn to my lover or no.


    She turns away. ¡°It was¡­ I didn¡¯t¡­¡±


    I let her consider her answer well as I channel a little more Amwella into the staff of soul shredding and feel the manor¡¯s bubbles wriggle closer to her ankles. Ready to subdue and drown her in solid Soulwaste if she threatens violence or a cruel word.


    ¡°She didn¡¯t tell me she was Fae.¡± She whispers so softly I have to lean forward to catch her words. ¡°When we were together. And¡­ and I got¡­ I don¡¯t tolerate Fae in my realm. Much less in my home or bed.¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°What. Did. You. Do?¡± I emphasize every word, letting my creation drink more and more of my offered Amwella as it charges quietly.


    ¡°When I found out I got angry. Really really angry. I thought she¡¯d just been¡­ like toying with me and mine. Taking advantage of our kindness and just playing at being¡­ um¡­ Thendra¡¯s thing. Using subtle song-craft to twist her or us or¡­ or worse.¡±


    My stave has reached its full limit now, and growls enticements for me to Reave this stupid girl¡¯s soul from our home.


    ¡°I told her to leave and not speak to me again.¡± She growls. ¡°And then, of all times, she found it within herself to try and talk. I¡­ I lashed out. Expected her to just¡­ heal it all up like all her kind can so easily do.¡±


    This is horrid, unforgivable. But¡­ the phrasing there. That middle part though. It could be nothing but¡­


    ¡°Try¡­ to talk?¡± I hiss as evenly as I can. ¡°What do you mean by that?¡±


    ¡°You know how she struggles to speak?¡± She pauses, turns back to face me. ¡°How she could barely get three words out most days? At least um¡­ well Sevy could get more if they were alone, and Wren loved to drag little noises from her in bed.¡±


    I feel my eyes widen, not at the revelation that Lyra has found some comfort in another¡¯s arms. I¡¯m glad for that!


    But¡­ but for my lover to be¨C


    ¡°What? My¡­ my beloved was not¡­ She is Fae, Raska. Talking and singing is part of her.¡±


    ¡°She¡­ I never really heard her sing. Only¡­ only that wailing thing from today.¡± Raska¡¯s spark eyes narrow. ¡°Has she not always had to fight to get words out?¡±


    ¡°No. No she has not.¡± I growl. ¡°Are you sure this wasn¡¯t just¡­ Some demented command from Thendra?¡±


    ¡°I did when that Reaver¡¯s second told me she was Fae. But now¡­¡± She shakes her head. ¡°No. And my lovers agree. It was real and¡­ and caused by something in her past. Some really bad trauma or abuse.¡±


    Headstalks freeze, then wriggle in anger. At¡­ and all the imagining of what could have hurt my beloved so much that she would go from a bubbly girl to¡­ to what Raska is describing.


    Too afraid or too hurt to speak and sing. Even among those she believes to be her lovers.


    My eyes narrow. ¡°Bulderii told you she was Fae? Why?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t know.¡± She shrugs. ¡°Thendra, the cunt, later said she was trying to keep it a secret. So I assumed her second let it slip.¡±


    I hiss. Very much worried it was not a mistake but a deliberate attempt to hurt Lyra. Isolate her from someone she was starting to love. ¡°But what about her tongue? Was that your doing as well?¡±


    She starts shaking then, even¡­ Well, Everflames cannot cry. But if they could I¡¯m certain she would be burning my carpet with a stream of molten tears. ¡°Not¡­ Not directly. But¡­ It was my fault.¡±


    ¡°Explain.¡± I demand.


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    ¡°She¡­ Look, Thendra said she¡­¡± Raska looks down to glare at the floor, takes a deep breath. Then says very softly. ¡°She said Lyra did it to avoid the pain of talking to people after I hurt her.¡±


    I feel my vision go a bit¡­ red. Staff gurgles with power but¡­ only sparks a bit without my permission to release and feed. ¡°Lyra did that? To herself!?!¡±


    Raska glances at the stave, noticing the danger it poses. But doesn¡¯t say anything about it. Only¡­


    ¡°That¡¯s what Thendra told me. And¡­ and she didn¡¯t have any reason to lie.¡± Then she slumps down, sits on the bare carpet. ¡°Look, Tretion I¡­ I fucked up. I ruined a good thing and¡­ and think that Lyra might have decided to stay with me and mine if I¡¯d been better. She was healing and¡­ and with people like her.¡± Raska winces at those last words. As if she didn¡¯t mean to let them slip.


    ¡®Like her¡¯? Could she mean¡­ But that¡¯s a question for later.


    ¡°And what do you intend to do now?¡±


    She sighs, looks off at the wall. ¡°Stick around, make sure nothing comes for her. Would stay if she didn¡¯t have anyone else. But¡­ You both seem to really care about her and know what you''re doing. So I¡¯m going to leave when she wakes up.¡±


    ¡°I think that¡¯s for the best.¡±


    ¡°Just¡­ send that other Fae to take me home when it¡¯s time.¡±


    My eyes narrow as I hear a subtle disgust at the word. ¡°Duchess Raska, while you are in my home you will refer to my lover by her name. She bears as much hatred as any other for what the Fae have done to Lyra.¡±


    I don¡¯t wait for her agreement. Simply turn to return to my lover and Bound Beloved.


    *    *    *


    I find Awnya curled around Lyra¡¯s unconscious form, a beautiful sight filled with a bubbling of affections but¡­ also a deep worry. Her body both woven around Lyra in protection and love betwixt a deep fear that our beloved would shatter and vanish at any moment.


    Lenelope sits close but is only resting a hand on our lover¡¯s shoulder. She glances up to me, a question in her eyes. Do you want me to stay?


    I smile and shake my head. ¡°We might be a bit isolated as we determine how best to help her. But, feel free to have the manor get my attention if something arises, love.¡±


    And without a word Lenelope rises, gives me a warm hug, and moves to leave us. Shuts and locks the door as I move to settle on my Bound Beloved¡¯s opposite side.


    Awnya wears a smile of such¡­ such¡­ something. ¡®All the things.¡¯ as she would put it. One arm twisted around Lyra¡¯s head while the other caresses through her short soft black hair.


    I mimic her position, intertwine our fingers and move my spare hand to reach over and touch my lover''s elbow as she works. Not to stop her just¡­ just to encase Lyra between us and to add intimacy to the embrace. Headstalks curl down eagerly though. Dance with Awnya¡¯s fingers as they wiggle down to nuzzle into Lyra¡¯s hair.


    And suddenly Lyra lets out a¡­ a soft rumble? A sort of¡­ pained hissing gurgle. The sound of a mix between a snake¡¯s hiss and a girl¡¯s growl.


    I freeze. Suddenly entirely unprepared and¡­ and dreadfully anxious at what may come next if Lyra awakens now.


    Remembering how panicked she¡¯d been when I¡¯d found and cornered her in the Manor¡¯s vault. So scared at finding me alive and well that she¡¯d somehow escaped past impossibly strong Riftwards to escape.


    But Awnya simply coos love and care down into her in a quiet melody of Fae song, and soon Lyra is settled.


    ¡°She¡¯s done that a few times.¡± Awnya murmurs without letting her smile falter. ¡°But¡­ Still hasn¡¯t woken up. Not even a little.¡±


    Awnya had given a brief retelling of what she found as her and the Everflame came stumbling through the manor. Of¡­ of Lyra¡¯s path through the Rifts and eventual horrid wailing. And of what lashed out from her now very small cracked soul.


    I¡­ I don¡¯t know what that means. Both my hypotheses are incredibly unpleasant and horrid. I¡¯ve already prepared our Manor to act quickly and deftly if such a thing looks to occur. To protect both my lovers and myself from what sounds like a type of ravenous soul feeding.


    A long pause before she can bring herself to ask, smile becoming more pained. ¡°So¡­ How bad?¡±


    How badly did Raska hurt our lover?


    I place my first small kiss of ten years amidst my bound beloved¡¯s hair, and mimic the gesture onto Awnya¡¯s fingers. ¡°She¡­ I¡­ It seems Lyra might have been fairly non-verbal long before Raska¡¯s cruel and stupid actions drove her to¡­ to finally just¡­To bite out her own tongue.¡±


    Awnya¡¯s eyes go wide, then she jerks down to stare in such worry at our lover. Eye¡¯s bubbling with tears as she just sits and stares down at her for a while. Brushing fingers through our lover¡¯s hair before finally whispering. ¡°I¡­ Tretion, I¡¯m going to give her everything I am for¡­ for as long as she needs it. But¡­ But I don¡¯t want you to¡­ to think that I don¡¯t still adore you and love you and¡­¡±


    Her words trail off as amber gold flits up to me for a second, and I¡¯m glad that my nod and smile seems to calm whatever ridiculous worry she had there.


    ¡°Of course. Awnya, you are still my lover and one of my most treasured souls. And you delight in my Bound Beloved as much as I do.¡± Snuggling closer to them both, I let my words drop to such a soft and probably pained whisper. ¡°I failed to be enough for her before, and it fills me with¡­ with hope that she has you here now as well. She¡¯ll¡­¡± Finally a choking sob hits me then, furious tears spilling forth as I nuzzle Lyra with another kiss. ¡°Awnya, she is going to need so much of both of us for a very long time, I think.¡±


    My Fae lover leans out to rest her head against mine, and we spend the night murmuring love and affections to each other alongside how we intend to help our lover heal.


    *    *    *


    ¡°Um¡­ Delvia?¡± I murmur, staring at the setting sun, the day¡¯s pestering worrying finally clarifying. ¡°Isn¡¯t¡­ isn¡¯t home the other way?¡±


    I sit among her and the three guards in the back of a carriage pulled by big glossy scaled centipedes, and ever since we awoke in the morning my mistress''s first guardian has become¡­ distant. Cold, and¡­ and a little curt.


    I was terrified she was angry at me for enticing her into all the lovemaking. Worried our Mistress would find out and be displeased. But¡­ she assured me it was wonderful and that she knew for certain our mistress would not mind.


    And as a cold trickles down my spine, I think I understand why.


    She¡¯s taking me to the horrid god of Theradas.


    Delvia doesn¡¯t look at me, just stares off into the sands as we move down the dusty path.


    ¡°B¨C But¡­¡± I stammer, breath growing quick while my voice twists. The shiftings she wished already pulled my tone to be very young and soft.


    She holds up a hand, cutting me off. ¡°It is beyond me to change this.¡±


    That¡¯s it?


    That¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s all!?! Just¡­ just accept the pain and death and ravaging this cruel god will inflict on me!?!


    ¡°NO! Just¡­¡± My voice goes shrill and angry. ¡°Let me¡­ let me fix this! Find out why she¡¯s doing this and¨C¡±


    My mentor would be so upset if she could see her little Keshada scream like some unbroken pillow slave. But Delvia is ignoring me, reaching down, pulling out¨C


    I nearly hiss at her when I see the slave gag.


    ¡°Either quiet and calm yourself, or I¡¯ll put this on you.¡±


    I do hiss then, low and angry and like I never thought possible.


    That surprises Deliva. Makes her freeze in sudden fear and¡­ I slither and wiggle, channel all my focus into¡­ into height and speed and¡­ and¡­ I¡¯m seven feet up.


    More than I¡¯ve ever thought possible! Soul screaming in joy and¡­ and such furious focus as I dart up into the sky! Delvia and the guards are yelling something. Shouting and demanding and¡­ but it doesn¡¯t matter!!! I can do this! I¡­ I can fly all the way back to her! Just¡­ just keep my focus and¡­ and¡­


    Amwella shudders, and a sudden weariness begins to settle over my body. Then my soul.


    And now the ground is fast approaching.


    I slam down into the dry sands barely a few dozen feet from the carriage. A sudden horror crashing into my mind. Wh¨C What have I done!?!


    I¡­ I ran!?!


    The first guard reaches me as I wriggle and twist around. Sobbing and wailing apologies as their hand reaches out for me. I was groomed to be better than that! Women of the Six Ways don¡¯t run! We¡­ We know our place and love what we¡¯ve been molded into!


    She grips my collar. Then slams her gauntleted fist into my jaw.


    How¡­ How could I¡­


    The blow sends my head lolling to the side.


    Just¡­ just lie still. Don¡¯t curl up. Don¡¯t try to crawl away or cover yourself.


    Then¡­ the ground is hitting me too. And before I can recover the woman is straddling my hips and striking me twice more. Harder and harder and¨C


    I know better than to hide my face. Have to¡­ to take my punishment or invite more.


    Barely notice the shouting from the carriage or the shattering of my teeth. Like¡­ like a good slave I wait for the pain to stop when it pleases my betters.


    ¡°¨Could gut you here and now!¡± Deliva is roaring.


    I twist and feel more tears fall at  her anger but... then notice that she''s not shouting at me. Her glare and fury is aimed at the guard looming over?


    ¡°She ran, what does¨C¡±


    A loud thud, and the woman is sent sprawling by a heavy and horrid blow from my Mistress''s first guardian.


    ¡°She¡¯s a gift to the bloody god of Theradas you fool!¡± Deliva all but roars. ¡°If we deliver her to them damaged we¡¯ll be lucky to die quickly!¡±


    Then¡­ then she moves over to kneel at my side. Strong arms wrap around my tail and shoulders. Lifts me into a more intimate and careful carry than I deserve. Even... even murmurs a few soft nothings to help me calm and still my sobs. After we¡¯re settled back in the carriage Delvia takes a long time to examine my face. I fight so hard to avoid whimpering or¡­ or flinching as she touches the cracked scales and pulls my mouth open to remove the bits of broken teeth.


    ¡°How fast do you heal, Furth?¡±


    A¡­ a pet name. Not one I like them using. Especially not¡­ not here. Not after hurting me.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure.¡± I whisper. Voice sounding¡­ wrong. Still shrill but¡­ but deepening a bit. Probably just cracking from fear and horror. ¡°When I burnt my tail badly years ago It was better in a day.¡±


    Delvia sighs heavily. ¡°Slavegod''s mercy. That... Good. Good.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m so sorry.¡± I whimper. ¡°I¡­ I just¡­¡±


    Delvia stops me by cupping my good cheek. Murmurs so softly.  ¡°Make a deal with me.¡±


    My brow furrows, but¡­ I nod.


    ¡°Pretend we¡¯re going back home.¡± She stares so hard into my widening eyes. ¡°Be a good girl, and I¡¯ll keep the gag put away. Treat you like the groomed treasure you are until Theradas.¡±


    I¡­ I don¡¯t¡­  But¡­ Treat me well until¡­ only until¡­


    ¡°Can you do this? Not for me, but¡­ but for you?¡± Her voice goes so quiet, and I see now that she hates this too. But¡­ but her purpose is not to decide my road.


    I can¡¯t help but turn away from her then, but¡­ she lets me. Waits patiently as the carriage bumbles on. Toward what will be my horrid and painful death. A few tears fall, but¡­ but I nod.


    Knowing that my only choices now are to fight and make this journey miserable as they gag and bind my form. Or¡­ or ignore what lies ahead and enjoy the little comforts Delvia will share with me.

 Chapter 84: Venomous Nature and Wretched Visitors

    <u>CW:</u>


    MORE Tretion POV to start! Violence and murber and venom and tooth growing. mention of fear of future assault.


    A low rumble from the manor alerted me to the danger. A deeper growl than I¡¯d ever heard it make. To both me and some great threat it feels at its outer gate.


    Leaving Awnya and Nelops with Lyra again, I take up my staff and stride once again to join the Everflame in the entrance this side of the glyphic stone door.


    ¡°What is it?¡± Raska murmurs, glancing about in a sort of¡­ anticipation. Only a touch of worry simply because something like my manor is a little beyond most to even consider battling.


    ¡°Something beyond the outer gateway.¡± I murmur, ¡°If Awnya hadn¡¯t seen the soulless corpse of Furthonois I¡¯d think it was them with how our manor is reacting¡±


    I feel Raska¡¯s blaze flare. ¡°What!?!¡±


    ¡°Lyra killed them.¡± I step up to the gateway, lay a hand on the glyphs, begin to channel will and Amwella to¡­


    ¡°H¨C How? Why!?!¡± The Duchess almost yelps.


    ¡°She owed it a boon, and they called it due. Demanded she capture and sacrifice Awnya to it.¡± I murmur while adjusting a few runes. First thing I do is remove Lyra from this glyph¡¯s approvals. In her current state we can¡¯t risk a panicked escape through this gate. I¡¯d already had a stern word with my manor on letting her leave last time.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care how sad her song was!!! Never let anyone leave without passing through this gate!¡±


    It¡¯d grumbled a bit¡­ but relented. Even tried to apologize¡­ I think. With Awnya¡¯s help I¡¯d grown to understand so much more about this wonderful being this past decade. Worked so hard to give it the trust and respect that no previous caretakers probably even considered. So¡­ I owed it to treat this threat that stood just beyond this threshold very seriously. No matter how thick their shell was.


    Its rumble of warning was¡­ a bit scared. As startled to find this soul appearing at its outer gate and actually worried about the power it sensed. So¡­ who had come to meet their new rival?


    From the frankly terrifying mass of tendrils she had when I found her in the vault, it was clear what Thendra had Lyra doing.


    Drinking souls.


    I hoped I was wrong about my theories and thoughts about what transpired. That¡­ that Lyra had simply slain Furthonois and escaped with terrible wounds and a diminished soul. But¡­ None should be able to reach us here, and no leviathans of the sea we move through should care or know about Lyra. She¡¯d swam with them before and survived.


    So¡­ This leaves two obvious options.


    Ukalon or Dreadweave?


    Those two are the only things I can think of that would cause this manor to growl in real worry and would care about the death of Furthonois. Which means at least one of the remaining two gods has come hunting the new member of their horrid trio. Whether to greet or consume¡­ I cannot guess and would love to never find out. But¡­


    ¡°Raska.¡± I tilt my head to her. ¡°I¡¯m going to have a word through this glyph with whoever is out there. I think it best you remain quiet, else you may draw their ire in the future.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, okay.¡± She nods, ¡°Thanks.¡±


    Pausing¡­ I take a few deep breaths as I begin to channel a small surge of Amwella into my staff.


    I am the Matron of this manor, and my lovers and those I¡¯ve sworn to protect and keep lay resting behind me. We reside within an ancient leviathan older than time itself, a thing that bathes happily in the blighted abyss between Rifts. My oldest records haven''t the slightest clue who tamed or bargained with it to gain this wonderous home within.


    No matter what fowl thing sits beyond my gate, I will meet it with the dignity and focus needed to expel it.


    A twist of will, a curling of the glyphs workings, and I speak with a confidence fueled by a protective rage while I feel my manor¡¯s bubbles twist up and about me.


    ¡°Name yourself.¡± I demand, knowing my manor¡¯s glyph will send my words into an Amwella pulse anyone on the other side will understand.


    Be they beast, mortal, or godthing.


    The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    A pause, and for a moment I worry that the thing beyond truly isn¡¯t one of the three. Possibly¡­ possibly some twisted predator come from the rot and ruin at the scent of my wounded beloved.


    ¡°It¡¯s good to hear you are well, Tretion, Matron of this manor.¡± Purrs a horrid voice I¡¯d not heard for over ten years.


    ¡°Thendra?¡± I hiss, both in¡­ in fear and hatred.


    How had she even gotten here!?! Why had my manor reacted to her like it had? She is no godling or Fae or¡­. She¡¯s just a Reaver! A blighted parasite who drinks the souls of others!


    Raska growls and her blaze flairs in turn with my own fury.


    ¡°You will not have her back, you wretched cunt.¡± I hiss, proud of my taking to Awnya¡¯s fury.


    A low horrid chuckle precedes her answer, ¡°I¡¯ve come only to ensure you manage her recovery well.¡±


    ¡°You expect me to trust you?¡± I reply with as calm a hiss as I can. ¡°My manor will tear you apart and cast you into the abyss if you try to enter.¡±


    ¡°I only need to offer a few words to ensure she survives this night.¡±


    That¡­ stalls out my rage, then replaces it with deeper and worse worries as I consider what words she means.


    ¡°Awnya can sing. We don¡¯t need you or your blighted commands.¡±


    A low sigh, ¡°It is not Fae song she needs, Watcher. It¡¯s the sting of a curse.¡±


    I jerk back, almost pulling my hand away. ¡°Her soul is already incredibly damaged from her battle. Such a reckless wound would end her!¡±


    ¡°It is not damaged. Only¡­ changed.¡± Thendra growls, by not angrily. She seems¡­ excited. ¡°But it needs to finish hatching.¡±


    Hatching. Chrysalis¡­ That¡­ But that would mean¡­


    ¡°What are you saying? What¡¯s happening to her?¡± I can¡¯t keep just a little of my roiling panic from my voice. ¡°Speak plainly if you intend to convince me of anything.¡±


    A long pause, and between my panic and fury I nearly worry she¡¯s chosen to leave.


    ¡°Lyra has devoured the soul and mantle of a godling, and claimed its power.¡± She purrs gently. ¡°And it is testing her. Eating at mind and soul. She needs to finish her song and break the old thing to her will.¡±


    ¡°And if she doesn¡¯t succeed?¡± I whisper.


    I can almost feel a horrid smile in her words. ¡°Then you and yours will not enjoy the thing that wakes from her slumber.¡±


    * * *


    I almost yelp in fear at the green blood that falls from my mouth. But end up freezing in a strange wonder as it lands on the sash draped over one breast. Watch as the little droplet eats a hole through it the size of my hand through the thick cloth in barely a second. Spreads and melts the rest of it away before I can pull it off. Some of it touched my scales and doesn¡¯t burn or harm me in the slightest. In fact... it¡¯s quite cool.


    B¨C But¡­ Keshada aren''t¡­ I was always told our fangs are for show! Not¡­ not¡­


    I reach up to touch my regrowing tooth. Find it sharper than¡­ than it should be. Pull fingers away to find a drop of the same green¡­


    Venom? It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s more like an acid!?! I jerk up, years of training urging me to go find my mistress and get help to¡­ to¡­ But the Mistress isn¡¯t here. Only Delvia is¡­ but she¡¯s taking me to¡­


    I settle back down onto the bedroll I¡¯ve been sharing with the woman. Glare down in fury at¡­ at the body her hungers have forced me into. Breasts too big, hips too wide. Voice a light and annoying pitch that makes it hard for me to enjoy sex with the big woman.


    Why now? Why was¡­


    Amidst my musings an old memory sparks. One I probably shouldn¡¯t even still have. Of some¡­ procedures done in my early years. Long before my Amwella sparked. When I could only slither along the ground like a common desert snake.


    A big mug of an odd smelling but tasty drink. Numb thoughts and giggly hearts as a stranger was brought in to inspect my mouth and teeth. Ended up removing two¡­ ¡®bad¡¯ ones. I got scared, but they promised it was very normal for a young and careless Keshada girl who didn¡¯t clean them well.


    Then they¡¯d grafted in two new ones. Showed me the pretty gleaming things before wielding them in. It didn¡¯t hurt, it just felt funny¡­ I was so tired afterwards though.


    My thoughts wander around those pathways as my tongue dances over the new growth. Enjoying feeling the sharp tip and occasional cold venom that drips. It tastes wonderful, and as it dribbles down my throat I can¡¯t help but¡­ but shiver at the odd sensation it brings. Like¡­ like drinking the finest wine or¡­ or waking up after a very good night¡¯s rest.


    But soon this good thing is interrupted as Delvia returns from a sand bath. She didn¡¯t even bother to redress, and after a quick sip from her wineskin she¡¯s coming to join me on the horribly uncomfortable bedroll we share. Already wrapping arms around me, twisting to pull me down atop her. On instinct I just¡­ fall into it. Body just¡­ wiggling through the motions. Delvia is simple and easy to pleasure¡­ barely even have to¡­


    ¡°How¡¯re the teeth, Furth?¡±


    That¡­ I let out a hiss, but manage to keep it low and easily mistaken for a pleasurable thing. But as I lightly nibble on her throat I can¡¯t help but¡­ but grow SO ANGRY!!! More fury than I have ever known bubbling up from my heart into my throat!!!


    She¡¯s not asking because she cares about me. Even as¡­ as I just fall upon her without hesitation! Offer her my everything! Pleasure her every single night on the blighted road she insists to drag me upon. Threatens to¡­ to gag me if I so much as voice my displeasure or fears!


    Letting Mistress toss away her beloved Keshada!!! Doesn¡¯t even return me to her arms to make sure she¡¯s certain this is the right path. Is¡­. is just too worried about her own safety and if the horrid god of Theradas will be upset if its new pillow slave has a few bruises before it gets to ravage and kill me!!!


    Delvia doesn¡¯t even get out a shout or scream as I bite down on her throat as hard as I can. Sinking my new venomously sharp tooth deep into rank flesh.


    She bucks once, lets out a gurgle, then goes still.


    A rush of wonderful warmth hits before I can realize what I have done.


    Dreadweave¡¯s gaze this¡­ oh this is¡­ is WONDERFUL!!! Body wriggles in¡­ in more pleasure than I¡¯ve been allowed to enjoy since¡­ since my mistress last made love to me. By the time I am pulling back I¡¯m shaking in¡­ in everything! My heart is such a raw and twisting mess.


    Terror at what the other guards will do when they find out I¡¯ve killed her.


    Horror at the fact I killed a master.


    Fury at the Road she¡¯d forced me to walk.


    But by the Dreadweave¡¯s schemes I¡¯m mostly enraptured in warmth and pleasure. And as I glare down at the horrid woman''s slowly melting face and corpse such a Desire for¡­ and just¡­ wishing I could kill her again! But¡­ then an idea hits me as I lick my lips clean of any blood and venom, shudder at the flavor.


    I can¡¯t kill her again¡­ but¡­ Then I¡¯m moving, hovering with more ease than I ever have.


    To the next tent over.


    The woman within sits up with a bit of worry from her bed, but¡­ settles with a confused look as her eyes roll over my form.


    ¡°Delvia was¡­¡± I give her my best shy smile, one my mistress adored. ¡°She¡­ I wanted to¡­ um¡­ thank all of you for¡­ for taking me from those wretched bandits and¡­ and thought that maybe you¡¯d enjoy a night with me?¡±


    Her eyes widen in obvious surprise, but also really heavy desire. So I let my smile turn mischievous, and I¡¯m twisting through the air to hover over her, leaning down¡­ Pressing lips together as her fingers trail up my body. Gently caressing hips and breasts as I drag teeth down to her neck.


    And within a few moments I¡¯ve drank my second soul.


    I know this because partway through I could suddenly watch in a sort of giddy horror as I slurped up the little thing. But¡­ this euphoria is interrupted as I realize the woman got out a scream before dying. A spike of terror and I¡­ I run again, but there isn¡¯t anywhere to go before¨C


    The tent flap is thrust aside, and the two last guards barge in. One half naked in sleeping clothes while the other is the one who was on watch. Daggers are drawn as they cast about. Eyes lock on the dead woman.


    ¡°What¡­ what happened!?!¡± The unarmored one growls as the other approaches with care.


    Neither notice me pressing hard against the tent''s roof, hands clasped over my mouth to conceal my breathing and warring desires.


    Run? Hide?


    A shudder from the leftover warmth rolls through me, and my path is clear.


    Kill and feed!!!


    Finger over my tooth, gather a little venom¡­ Drip. Drip. Drip a few drops onto the armored woman¡¯s head and shoulders.


    Then I drop down onto the other, sinking teeth into her neck.

 Chapter 85: And Her Shadows Pass Into Flame

    <u>CW:</u>


    violence, attempted sexual assault, violent sex followed by murber. Awnya POV, then Furthonois POV, then Awnya, then Furthonois and ending wiff Lyra. Much woops as that sounds more complex than it really is!


    ¡°I hate this.¡± I growl as I kneel to set Lyra on the soft carpets.


    She¡¯s¡­ she''s still the same girl I knew. I¡¯m sure of it! But¡­ over the night I got to watch and begin to understand just how deep her scars must go.


    A small twitch at any unexpected touch. Or a twisting of her lips into a pained grimace when one of us would whisper after a long bout of silence. And¡­ and a withering within her soul¡¯s song when her name might be murmured with love.


    And all this was when she was unconscious!


    ¡°I know.¡± Tretion whispers back as we finish settling Lyra next to the outer gate.


    The manor¡¯s bubbles draw close around our lover as she stirs again, her hissing and growling fits growing worse by the hour.


    ¡°I hate this.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± She replies without even a hint of annoyance or disagreement as her fingers brush through Lyra¡¯s hair.


    Only my song of calming for our lover stops me from repeating it for the hundredth time.


    ¡°I can wait beside her, just¡­ just in case something goes wrong.¡± Raska begins to offer.


    Again.


    My watcher does sigh then, but doesn¡¯t offer the Everflame even a glance as she replies. ¡°As I said, Duchess Raska, while I have complete confidence in our manor¡¯s ability to contain any blight or backlash, leaks are possible.¡±


    ¡°But¨C¡±


    Tretion rises. ¡°I will not have your flame spark out to protect you and cause damage to my manor, the shield of Soulwaste it will use to protect us all, or my Beloved Bound.¡±


    She stands patiently as I wait for Lyra to settle before ending my song, placing long and soft kisses across her burned shoulder, cheek, then hair.


    ¡°I¨C¡±


    My watcher continues as if the Everflame was not even trying to speak. ¡°And if that wretched woman breaks her oaths to me and somehow enters our manor, your strength will be in long distance flame magic, not a close quarters brawl.¡±


    Oaths from that Reaver seemed¡­ solid. I¡¯d seen her keep them when she might have otherwise benefited from breaking. And we¡¯d gone over the wording of it all a dozen times.


    Tretion will enable her to speak through the glyph and Lyra will get stung by her curse.


    If the blighted woman was correct, which¡­ Tretion seemed to fully believe, then it should shatter some weird egg or cocoon thing around Lyra¡¯s soul and let her wake up. That¡­ We¡¯ll handle all the things that might imply later. Tretion knew we¡¯d have to do a ton of research into it, and how this mantle might change Lyra.


    But¡­ one thing at a time. First thing was to make sure Lyra survives this!


    Thendra said in no uncertain terms that if Lyra did not wake soon that the mantle would consume her, and what woke up would be¡­ incredibly horrid.


    ¡°The mantle holds old malicious and hungry things deep within.¡± The cunt had told my watcher. ¡°If her soul does not crack free, all that will remain will be a mindless husk of all their old bitter hatreds trapped in Lyra¡¯s rotting corpse.¡±


    And the final promise, the thing that we¡¯d insisted beyond all other things.


    ¡°You will end the command when she is awake or one of us demands it. You will leave the moment you speak that word of relief from her curse¡¯s sting. You will go back to Theradas or whatever blighted Rift of your choice and never return.¡± Tretion had demanded.


    Thendra barked a cruel laugh, ¡°I agree to your terms. I¡¯ll only return if the mistress of this manor calls me to return.¡±


    So¡­ with my dagger in hand, I join the other two back in the entrance of the hallway. As close as we dared venture at the possibility of a greater wash of whatever horrid hunger spilled out from her before. Apparently both Tretion and Thendra agreed that this will be the worst yet, and might even happen multiple times before she is free of whatever thing traps her Amwella.


    ¡°Alright, It''s time. Prepare your workings.¡± Tretion murmurs as her staff growls and murmurs in hunger, ready to strike a soul death to anything that could appear.


    I draw my dagger, but keep from channeling Amwella into it yet. Focus on weaving an incredibly complex and focused song of Soul warding. Something that takes me minutes to bring to a symphony that I believe will hold against even a god¡¯s strike.


    Raska hisses her flame up behind my song, twists it''s form to fill any gaps and support the working.


    Deep breath from my watcher, and she murmurs the words to allow Thendra to speak through that glyph.


    *    *    *


    ¡°Fur¨C Furthonois?¡± Stammers the servant who answered the front door.


    The wash of¡­ of wondrous smells and cool air that slips from my Mistresses home nearly drowns me. But¡­ I am a woman of the Six Ways, and well groomed to maintain my expression of polite composure.


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve returned.¡± I smile, and effortlessly hover past her as she continues to stammer out this nonsense or that. She was a young girl and barely above a pillow slave, and beneath me in my lover¡¯s home.


    I do giggle then at the thought as I twist myself up the steps, able to fly above anyone I wish.


    It¡¯d take a few dozen more souls, and the cracking of my other fang free on a rock, to show me just how much more I can be for my Mistress. Filled me with delight as I imagined her expressions at this returned Keshada. How I would pull her into the winds, twisting and writhing in pleasure and¨C


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    I get to her door, to her bedchambers. It¡¯s early in the morning, and she must be so lonely after sending me away. Perhaps she purchased a new pillow slave to fill a small part of the void I had left in her heart, but no matter.


    Her lover has returned, and I am ready to be her everything this time.


    Deep breath, quiet my smile to a smaller thing, and open the door.


    A single mound of flesh in bed, lightly twisting at the sound. I murmur her name, begin to¨C


    A young Keshada, barely sparked, sits up and stares blankly at me. I freeze, still hovering closer to the head height than the normal torso for our kind. She pulls the sheets close, eyes widening a bit as she takes in what must be a wondrous sight.


    I can¡¯t blame the girl, I¡¯ve changed so much in the months since I last left and now look like no Keshada I¡¯d ever seen.


    Longer than ever, easy three feet gained. Scales now immaculate regardless of the weather or sands. Hair a perfect twisting of glimmering midnight hues, and my eyes¡­ I¡¯d only glimpsed them in reflected pools along my path, and in the eyes of those I consumed for delicious soulfire.


    Crimson, and brimming with joy and hunger.


    Perfect.


    ¡°Who¡­ Who¡¯re you?¡± She whispers.


    I tilt my head, still¡­ trying to¡­


    ¡°Furthonois?¡± Exclaims a woman from the side washroom.


    And I turn to see the heart of my everything, my oasis in these horridly cruel lands.


    I give her such a loving and tired smile. ¡°Mistress, it¡¯s good to be back.¡±


    ¡°B¨C But¡­ Delvia¡­ she¡­¡± My lover stammers, just¡­ staring. ¡°You¡¯re meant to be reclaimed and on your way to Theradas!¡±


    I sigh and frown, annoyed she isn¡¯t overwhelmed with the joy I feel, but¡­ know it¡¯ll simply take time.


    ¡°No more.¡± I smile proudly showing my new fangs while letting myself hover just a little higher.  ¡°I¡¯ve returned to take my place at your side, your woman in all things.¡±


    She closes her eyes, fingers at her temple in... Frustrations!?!


    ¡°You¡­ The first delay would be a thing of annoyance but recoverable when the god saw their prize.¡±


    My joy stutters, falters at her hesitation and frankly hurtful lack of joy at seeing me returned.


    ¡°I¡­ What?¡± I tilt my head. ¡°Mistress¡­ I returned to¡­ I¡¯m better than just¡­ just some sacrificial toy for that demented thing. I¡¯ve grown beyond even what a woman of the Six¨C¡±


    ¡°Stupid girl!¡± She spits, ¡°I¡¯ll be lucky if She doesn¡¯t ruin my house after this!¡±


    I jerk back, ¡°Wh¨C What?¡±


    She looks up to me¡­ nearly¡­ nearly glares. ¡°Where is Delvia? On the road behind you somewhere?¡±


    It takes all my will to not return that look, but¡­ I only sigh. ¡°I left her to feed the desert and rot. She was a poor servant, unfit for her place in your house.¡±


    She groans, ¡°Wonderful! Now I¡­ I¡¯ll have to find a new woman I can trust to deliver you.¡±


    That does twist my face to anger. And from my Mistresses sudden flinch I know it must be a horrid thing to bear. ¡°I¡¯m not going to Theradas, lover. I am yours.¡±


    My eyes flit over to the bed. ¡°And pardon my words, but this¡­ girl, Dreadweave¡¯s Gaze, she barely seems old enough to finish her grooming. How did you finish your training so early?¡±


    The girl squeaks, but does not answer.


    ¡°She¡­ Furthonois this isn¡¯t¡­¡± My mistress stammers, then finally regains a composure and pride that befits her. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter, she fulfills my needs well. But no, you are not mine. And by coming back you might have ensured the death of my house.¡±


    My eyes narrow as I turn back to her. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°That god demanded you, specifically.¡± She huffs, ¡°Soulless prophets know why, but¡­ with these delays and¡­ and your return¡­ It¡¯ll seem I stole you back. I¡­¡±


    A fear claims her eyes. ¡°I¡¯ll most likely need to run unless that thing deems to show uncharacteristic mercy. Escape this desert Rift and hope they let this insult fade from memory.¡±


    I hiss angrily.


    She steps back as I bare my fangs, her fear now plain. ¡°Furthonois. I¡­ I didn¡¯t¡­¡±


    I close my eyes, let my training soften my expression, then look at her again. ¡°Is there nothing else you could offer them? No other boon they may desire in my stead?¡±


    She shakes her head. ¡°You are the boon they called for.¡±


    I look down to my wonderful body¡­ shaped by my trip through the desert into a lithe form of perfect grace. The shape I thought would¡­ would enthrall and entice and reweave our love into new and wonderful shapes.


    But no. She¡­ she can¡¯t! To embrace me would mean her death.


    ¡°Then I¡¯ll go.¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C¡± She begins to speak, but flounders as I glide down to her, taking her soft cheek in my hand.


    ¡°I will visit this cruel thing¡¯s throne.¡± I whisper. ¡°And unlike your worthless first guardian, I will not quiver in fear of the wretched thing that awaits me.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± She softens then, a¡­ hope glimmering in her eyes.


    ¡°Either I die the horrid death that thing wishes to ravage upon me.¡± I promise her. ¡°Or I will return to you, a free Keshada and worthy of a place at your side.¡±


    *    *    *


    I¡¯m not sure any of us hear the command, but from Lyra¡¯s sudden twisting of agony, we can all see her reaction. And watch in horror and terror as her body writhes and twists and¡­


    And no song escapes. No gurgling wail or scream of agony woven into a melody as she ignores or fights the command.


    My song turns so desperate and pleading. A call of love and life as much as a shield to guard those beside and behind.


    C¡¯mon Lyra!!!


    Come back to us!!!


    FIGHT TO LIVE!!!


    *    *    *


    I can¡¯t help but giggle as the god of Theradas ravages my body this third time.


    When I¡¯d entered this temple of butchery and slaughter, smelled the stench of blood and weeping soulfire, I¡¯d found myself repulsed and truly terrified for the first time since I¡¯d killed Delvia.


    A muck of mindless hunger and useless agonies at the heart of our desert.


    As I flowed above the amassed denizens, and my eyes focused on the god over it all, I doubted my path. Worried that maybe even the hundred souls I¡¯d devoured would not empower me to kill this horrible thing.


    The soulflame of a goddess draped through and around her. But¡­ Not as a mantle of wondrous power or shimmering beauty. But of the lazy abandon of one careless and without refinement.


    A huge mass of fur and muscle and horns. Fat in her gluttony of souls and flesh. Eyes almost too heavy with her most recent feast to rise up and meet my own.


    Is this truly what lay at the end of the Oldest Road in the desert?


    As a woman of the Six Ways. A Keshada slave born and groomed to embody the beauty and elegance of service and sacrifice I could not help but scowl in disgust as I settled onto the floor before her throne.


    Our god is too stupid to understand what true beauty and majesty look like.


    I openly sneered as I presented myself to this useless thing. My apologies loud and mocking as I bow and spread my arms wide. In the end I let out my most enthralling purring hiss after giving such disingenuous excuses for my late arrival. ¡°So¡­ Goddess of Theradas, Come and claim your boon.¡±


    And of course this big stupid thing could do nothing but want me.


    Just¡­ thinks me a stupid slave to break and devour as it drags me up to her altar, tears my wondrous silks away, and pins me to the old rank stone as she shoves herself into me like some rutting animal. Soulfire fumbling to wrap around mine like some untrained pound of flesh from the market.


    Doesn¡¯t even notice till our second feeding that I¡¯m not screaming in pain, but excitement.


    And now she pauses for the first time to truly regard me as her third round of pleasure settles, a lazy gaze searching my eyes and soul for the fear she craves as my laughter fades.


    I smile so sweetly, whisper back. ¡°Would you like to have me again, lover?¡±


    Then I get her fury. Like some desert mongrel dog she tears at my body and Amwella. Biting and twisting and breaking of scales and bone and flesh as her clumsy soul tears at mine.


    Too bad the pieces I slurp off her flame are bigger.


    I¡¯d discovered quickly that I can not only drink soulfire through my new and perfect fangs, but also through my flesh melting venom. Most souls I¡¯d found along my road were small and consumed quickly. Gone before my venom could touch their soulfire. But a few times I discovered a soul of great strength whose eyes sang with hunger with what they saw. And I¡¯d let them take me. Allowed myself to be captured and used. A dozen times they tried to bind, ravage, or consume me. And every single time I enjoyed a feast that grew my resolve and soulfire into things as solid as any blade one might find in the desert.


    Harder and sharper even.


    And so through my nibbles and bites and even a spit or three, I watch in glee as the Goddess pulls back. Her face is a thing of such sudden fear and surprise as it begins to melt away.


    That¡¯s when she tries to kill me.


    Draws huge claws across my throat, and then snaps my neck when I only gurgle out a laugh and spit more venom onto her stupid face. Her own engorged and bloated soulflame fueling my body to restore me faster than any wound she can inflict can end this perfect Keshada form.


    And by the end she¡¯s stumbling away, falling and crawling down the steps toward her assembled worshipers as the final wisps of her Amwella are dissolved and drawn back into my soul as I follow above. Cooing and purring such soft murmurs of terrible humor at this pitiful thing.


    Then she is dead, and I bask in¡­ in this wondrous feeling of warmth and strength as those final driplets of her soul weave up and into-


    No. Terrible shadows are gathering¡­ Wait. This¡­. This isn¡¯t¡­.


    Horrid and wretched echoes that wail in anger for the soul I just drank. Things that would steal my life and victory and the lover I intend to return to.


    So with a hiss I spread my arms wide, and invite them to test their souls against mine. They accept my offer, and next I know we are¨C


    ¡°My Lyraaaaa¡­¡± Purrs the voice of my Dark Goddess from so far away as her first command is ignored.


    And then I have legs, and I feel the thing on my back, fangs and venom and horrid will to devour the Fae that had killed her howling through my soul.


    The spirit of Furthonois wraps around my Amwella like a desert snake. Older shadows still rise from her shoulders like a cloak. Empowering and giving her more strength than a single soul should bear.


    ¡°Sing these old things off you.¡± My Dark Goddess snarls. ¡°Crush their will and claim their mantle!!!¡±


    PAIN. The curses sting so deep and horrid, more than ever before! Such a deep pain that just¡­ just is so hard to¡­ to ignore!


    But¡­ that¡¯s not what makes me fight.


    It¡¯s a song. A litany that weaves all about me and cries of a life and love that remind me of why I chose to throw myself at this big stupid snake thing. How¡­ how I need to finish ending the godthing that would threaten those that I can¡¯t help but adore!!! Solidifies the love I will Reave this Dream apart to keep safe!


    And then I¡¯m wailing. Not Fae words¡­ Just¡­ that command given will through my lips, tinted with the wroth of one who will not let those she loves face the death of their happiness!!!


    Tearing from my throat like a clutch of angry jellyfish. And in echo to my cry for freedom from what this godthing would do to me, the brand of the Old Road explodes into wondrous heat and revolts at the spirit of the god who gave it to me. Flaring to consume the shadow that claws at my back before fading away entirely.


    Freeing me forevermore of all who would enslave me as the curse and spirit of Furthonois is torn from my soul. Amwella cracking and shattering in a final wonderous explosion of cool drowning waters.

 Chapter 86: Their Lover Returned

    <u>CW:</u>


    Um.... good things. Yeah. Some songs and snuggles and panic. Mentions of self-harm and abuse. Lyra POV followed by Awnya POV. MhmhMHMHMHMHmhmmmm..!


    Someone¡¯s screaming.


    Wailing such a song of wrath and ruin and horrid hatred for a Godthing that thought to devour my soul after¡­


    After¡­ Oh! That¡¯s my wordless song! And¡­ and no curse¡¯s sting? Which means¡­


    ¡°Stop.¡± Comes such a command of pride and victory that brings tears of joy to my eyes and a wriggling of happiness to my soul as I lay writhing on some soft carpets.


    My SOUL!


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits I can¡¯t help but just¡­ bask in how amazing it looks! Before it was a small thing with an awkward angry mass of stitched tendrils spreading out like a clutch of snakes bound to some rock.


    But now it¡¯s like the bed of the sea! A waving mass of ocean grass spreading out and hiding a core three times the size of what mine was before. And within those uncountable shifting tendrils, dwell my beloved family.


    My jellyfish. Cooing and happy and so very safe in Amwella that so perfectly resembles our home amidst the blighted abyss. Bigger than before and¡­ and forms shifting about into multiple adorable shapes I''ve never seen before!!!


    ¡°Sunrise to sunrise.¡± Purrs my Dark Goddess.


    And that¡¯s when my eyes snap open and I¡¯m jerking over to stare at¡­ A cold stone door and a glowing glyph that looks so familiar.


    But¡­ But where¡¯s Thendra? I¡­ what did she say? Something about the sunrise? But¡­ I already came back like¡­ ten years ago! Gave my everything to¨C


    But as I¡¯m struggling to rise as I become aware of a second song and¡­ and shouting? I look back to see a strange writhing... girlthing shape flame guarding a hallway. All awash in a Fae song of warding and protection that thrums with... with a melody of... of love and...


    Also familiar. Horribly so¡­


    I back up as I understand where I am and who sits just behind that flame and song. Cold terror sending spikes of horror down my spine when my back finds the door.


    Need to leave. NOW!!!


    I reach back with a talon to touch the glyph, and with a simple effort of will I command it to open.


    But¡­ nothing happens.


    I try again. Endless seabed of soul tendrils pressing and touching and poking the manor¡¯s ward and the cluster of bubbles that have started to gather around me.


    No.


    The manor¡¯s refusal amplifies that cold spike of fear down my spine ten fold. I jerk around, hiss and gurgle my demand at the manor in a soft song that brings such a weak sting of the curse.


    Let me out!!!


    And again, as I feel the heat die and the warding song fade, the Manor refuses me with a loud and resounding¡­


    NO.


    FINE! I growl at the stupid thing!!! Already twisting my song into a Reaver¡¯s Riftwalk as I hear the first of them shout what sounds like my name. Curse stings hard, but¡­ but It¡¯s so much less than ever with such a heavy soul at my core. Easy to weave the song and¡­


    And other than a quivering of my body and soul, nothing happens.


    The manor¡¯s will refuses to budge this time.


    My eyes widen, panic starts to rise and consume me.


    ¡°Lyra!¡±


    My soul tails go wild, twisting and dancing in a threat. A warning.


    Stay away from this wretched monster!!!


    I raise both talons to the unmoving gateway, digging their sharp tips into the unyielding stone. Hiss and snarl and bite out more commands as I feel the three souls stop at the edge of my tendrils¡¯ border. Almost¡­ It seems like twelve feet now! And that¡¯s without weaving them together either¡­


    ¡°Beloved.¡± Murmurs a soft voice from my deepest nightmares.


    My everything is trembling now.


    I¡¯m not supposed to be here after I killed the stupid pretty snake god!!! Just¡­ can¡¯t look back.


    Don¡¯t deserve to look back.


    I¡¯ll ruin all the happiness they¡¯ve found!


    But no matter how much I hiss and growl. Even spit a few horrid songs of threat and warning and fury this stupid manor won¡¯t open!


    And won¡¯t let me Riftwalk.


    ¡°Lyra! Hey!¡± Awnya calls from behind. Voice just as perfect and lilting and brimming with loving confidence as I remember. ¡°It¡¯s okay girl! Just¡­ calm down! You¡¯re safe here!¡±


    I can¡¯t help but gurgle a wordless tune into my horrid little song.


    Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.


    But you¡¯re not.


    ¡°Lyra¡­¡± She huffs, takes a step forward, like¡­ like she understands at least a part of my ugly growls and still thinks I¡¯d never hurt her.


    So short are the Fae¡¯s memories...


    Jellyfish dart out and hiss from where they were hiding. And I feel Awnya stumble back in surprise.


    ¡°The¡­ what are¡­¡± She sputters as one of the others keeps her steady. ¡°Okay. okay. I hear you. We can slow down. Just¡­ take some breaths, yeah? You¡¯re safe here.¡±


    I press my forehead into the gateway as my growling song turns into little desperate things.


    ¡°Beloved.¡± Tretion calls out again, now to my left. Trying so hard to catch my gaze. Then I feel her kneel, just like¡­ like she would do after my earliest Waking Nightmares.


    Waiting and not wanting to force a physical touch that could hurt or scare me.


    ¡°I¡¯m here.¡± She whispers.


    Talons dig harder into the unbreaking stone. She has Awnya, what¡­ What could she possibly want with me!?!


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. Take your time.¡± Awnya moves to settle on the other side, and I feel the blazing horrid soul back away, turning to disappear farther into the manor and leave us. ¡°Lyra you¡¯re home. We can work out all the rest later.¡±


    Home!?! No that¡¯s¡­ That¡¯s stupid!!! This isn''t my home! Not anymore! And... and why care about me!?! Why try to keep this stupid monster who killed your father and ate your lover¡¯s soul!?!


    Sliding down to the floor then, my growls fully melt into quiet desperate whimpers. Talons trailing down the gateway as I weave all my sorrowful pleading into the wordless ugly sounds as I realize just how trapped I am. Only way out is¡­ is to either crack the manor, or¡­ Or curse Tretion again.


    I fall deeper into sobs at the thought.


    Can¡¯t do either of those things! NOT AGAIN!!!


    Jellyfish gather close, preen and coo comforts to their wretched Fae mother. I claw and strike talons at the gateway, but¡­ flesh cannot harm this incredible home. I¡¯m just¡­ just to stupid and weak.


    So I call out to my dark goddess for help.


    Screaming into my soul as¡­ as I guess at the lesson she¡¯s laid out for me. An impossible demand to kill this love that infests me once and for all. Kill and consume and Reave the manor asunder once again else be blighted and destroyed.


    I wail into my own soul. Glaring at the shard still drifting so deep in my core.


    Please!!! Just¡­ just¡­ Come get me!


    LET ME OUT!


    ¡°Beloved.¡± Tretion shuffles just a little closer. Now just¡­ just a hand¡¯s reach from my Naranggas¡­  ¡°It wasn¡¯t your fault. What happened to me.¡±


    Everything without and within me freezes.


    What? But¡­ that¡¯s just¡­ She¡­ she can¡¯t¡­


    ¡°And¡­ and I¡¯m so sorry you¡¯ve had to bear the weight of that all these years.¡± She whispers, and I hear the choking sobs in her voice. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry you were alone and¡­ and hurting and¡­ and I couldn¡¯t come find you. That¡­ that I didn¡¯t even know you were still alive.¡±


    My seabed of soul tails twist and¡­ and whirl together. A few smaller weaving into a single larger limb. Reaches toward her and¨C


    NO!


    I yank it back, snarl at the stupid thing as my Jellyfish swim back out to the limits of my Amwella¡¯s reach.


    They radiate annoyance, but¡­ not WITH me.


    AT me.


    LET US SNUGGLE! They all but purr. Suddenly so curious and burping happy little songs that seem to resonate with the melody thrumming from deep within my endless tendrils.


    ¡°Lyra¡­ I¡¯m here. I¡¯m alive. And I¡¯d delight in giving you whatever you need.¡± Tretion¡¯s leaning forward. Very carefully, and holding out a hand toward my tendril. ¡°I love you so much and am¡­ Am so overjoyed to have you returned to me. My bound beloved back from death.¡±


    A whimper escapes my lips, and¡­ and it takes everything I am to hold that Naranggas and Jellyfish back from her as I rest my forehead to lean against the gateway.


    I can feel Awnya¡¯s smirk in her next words. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits you¡¯ve no idea how much we enjoyed holding you close last night. Or¡­ just¡­ just how much we¡¯ve missed you!!!¡±


    Then a second cluster of tendrils reweave to reach out to her at¡­ and the realization that¡­ That she found me.


    Not... not my Dark Goddess?


    HER!?!


    Brought me here from that storming Rift and¡­ and together they¡­


    And in trying to hold both Naranggas and soul born children back amidst my trembling sobs, my focus slips. Each wriggling out to wrap around these two women¡¯s Amwella as my heart lurches in terror. A haunting of memories of the last time they reached for this watcher''s soul. But¡­ the two limbs only curl gently around them. Swirl and wriggle ¨C


    Then I¡¯m drowning. Slowly consumed by Tretion¡¯s solid and glacial love, and Awnya¡¯s blazing furious adorations.


    Before I can recover and yank my tendrils back, the two begin to move. Push gently through my seabed of a soul to get close¡­ A duet that so perfectly balances each other. C¨C Can¡¯t¡­ It¡¯s hard to¡­ to¡­like¡­ I can¡¯t focus on the fear when they¡¯re pulsing with so much¨C


    They''re next to me now, one on each side, arms wrapping around me. Pulling me into a wonderful kneeling embrace, and I can¡¯t stop the ocean of love that sweeps me into their arms.


    ¡°Wggg¨C¡± I try to force out through my worthless tongueless mouth. Trying to¡­ To shout at these two perfect women to just¡­ let me leave!


    Go be happy without me!!!


    ¡°No.¡± Tretion whispers so softly through her own tears. But¡­ Her voice is stubborn and so furiously resolute. ¡°I¡¯m never letting you go again, beloved.¡±


    I try to hiss how stupid she¡¯s being. How¡­ how she¡¯s clinging to the monster that killed her!


    But honestly it sounds more like a whimpering sob.


    ¡°The manor is locked-up tight and stubborn as a goose. No one¡¯s leaving or coming in. You¡¯re stuck here, Lyra.¡± Awnya echoes, her own voice a wonderful melody of relief and joy. ¡°We¡¯ve got you, and we¡¯re never letting you go.¡±


    My next sounds just¡­ they just¡­ dissolve into a sobbing growl.


    Any thoughts of escape are smothered beneath their cooing murmurs and furious hugs as Tretion¡¯s tendrils dance through my hair. With words and soulfire they tell me over and over and over again how they will not let me leave. Murmuring and whispering and even shouting a few times¡­


    Those three hardest words.


    ¡°I love you.¡±


    ¡°We love you so much!¡±


    ¡°¨CAdore and delight in my beloved.¡±


    And through this all I am forced to feel it again as my ocean of a soul envelops us all.


    Their unyielding adorations amidst gentle wonderful touches cracking so much of the shell I¡¯d built around my heart over these past ten years. Overwhelmed in these twin flames that sing such unbelievable truths directly into my soul.


    *    *    *


    Eventually we coax Lyra into moving. Whispering soft encouragements every time she looks back at the gateway we¡¯re leading her from.


    So scared and desperate to escape. Her earlier song¡¯s wails of such guilt and self-loathing and¡­ and desire to return to the wretched cunt who would continue to break her.


    But¡­ we don¡¯t let her go back. We just stop and wait, even settle back into kneeling hugs when Lyra collapses into deeper sobs. Allowing her to choose when to rise and go forward, but not letting her backslide to the gate.


    Not a single Dreamer Blighted Step!


    NEVER again!!!


    We¡¯re DONE with that! Done with letting the Dream hand Lyra choices that aren¡¯t choices. It¡¯s time she had people who love her be the ones giving her better paths to tread.


    We can both feel from her wordless sobs and little titters of song how scared she is of hurting us. Even as her soul tails are nothing but gentle and just¡­ desperate in their snuggles. I¡¯d bet my entire soul that Thendra has been starving her of anything like this. Only dragging her through night after night of horrid torments and¨C


    One of those little wriggly things paddles toward my soul. Interrupts what would have been a spiral that might have hurt Lyra as she seems to be clutching to the emotions our souls are singing over her. It¡¯s¡­ such an odd little thing, kinda hard to look at with how it keeps shifting its form. All soft furry shapes and wiggly little limbs that kick and paddle it through Lyra¡¯s new soul¡¯s embrace.


    It just¡­ swims right over to me through her massive Amwella tendrils and snuggles to my soul. Radiating¡­ Love? Adoration!?! And Purring requests to share warmth with them and their¡­ well¡­ um¡­ mother? I think?!? I¡­ I¡¯ve never heard of this kind of soul manifestation! Dreamer¡¯s Tits, Lyra, what¡¯s happened since I last saw you? Since you fell into the abyss between Rifts and swam amidst the Rot and Ruin?


    As my own heart and mind settle into a sort of¡­ curious adoration for one of these little wiggly things, Lyra seems to calm, and we¡¯re able to get her to the door that leads to our room.


    But¡­ then she¡¯s frozen again in obvious terror.


    How different it must look to her now. Piles and piles of books, odd tools and weird shaped objects, and¡­ and a little soft grove of wiggly plants that murmur and sway. This entire room smelling and sounding so much of my beloved watcher and I and all our nonsense.


    ¡°We can sleep in another room.¡± I quickly say. ¡°It¡¯s not a problem.¡±


    But she shakes her head slowly, and¡­ and takes those first steps back into an old life.


    One she believes she broke and shattered.


    Despite how healthy and amazing her soul looks, Lyra is sagging and exhausted and barely standing. Already melting back into a puddle of sobs as we get her to the bed. Mind must be a mess of.. all the things. Hopefully at least some of them are good.


    And then we¡¯re snuggled in. Lyra between us. Her soul wrapped tight about us all as we hold her in our arms. And more of those odd little wiggly things purring and snuggling either up against her core, or one of ours. Just¡­ thrumming such joy and contentment in efforts to keep us all so calm. Seeming to enjoy the warmth our soul¡¯s radiate.


    We don¡¯t smother her but¡­ but okay yeah maybe a little. Tretion¡¯s head tendrils are just obsessed with her messy short hair. And even if Lyra won¡¯t meet our gaze, she¡¯s clinging to our hands and pulling them close now.


    Even¡­ even once letting our watcher¡¯s wrist brush her lips. I¡¯m not sure it was meant to be a kiss, but to watch Tretion glow a bit at the little touch was worth everything in the Dream.


    A subtle sign that Lyra still adores her. That not even Thendra could bleed that deep love from our girl.


    But¡­ soon she¡¯s quickly curled face-down in a ball of anguish, gurgling a soft song of shame and guilt and fear again. Caught between her desperation for our affections and decades of painful self-hatred. So¡­ I begin to hum my own melody.


    A song of endless affections that fills the room with a thrumming of love and delight. Years of sadness and old pain suddenly shattered by the return of our lover.


    I still remember those final songs I sang at the edge of the Dead Dreamer¡¯s wood, so I mix in their stories. Sing to our girl of the life my watcher and I¡¯ve woven together, and how every single day we¡¯d have given very nearly anything to see our Lyra returned to us.


    Will do more still to keep her here and safe and healing.


    She¡¯s sobbing again, but¡­ it¡¯s a sound of¡­ of muddled disbelieving joy. Happiness she so desperately wants to keep but feels she can¡¯t. Dreads the pain such a thing will bring to those she loves. Is begging us to just¡­


    Let her go.


    I¡¯m not sure I ever stopped crying, but I can¡¯t help but weave my fresh tears into my counter song as we pull her closer. Lean into our watcher¡¯s tendrils that wiggle in possessive affections for our lover returned.


    Sing back to her just how much her presence is healing old wounds we thought we¡¯d never see fade.


    Eventually that helps her calm enough to just¡­ pass out. Allows the oblivion of sleep to shroud her from the woes of today. And for the second time in over ten years, we¡¯re able to hold our Lyra close through the night.

 Chapter 87: Stubborn Lovers, Hardest Words

    <u>CW</u>:


    BEEEG emotions and talk of past abuse, trauma, and regrowing of tongue. Also mention of Sexual assault. The BEEEGEST chappy we''ve ever posted. Like... 7k words.


    It takes everything within me to pull this endless mass of soul tails free of them. Ignoring the burping growls of my jellyfish and just¡­ embrace the wretched silence of my own thoughts and broken mind as I find myself awakening.


    But¡­ I do it.


    For them. For the two women who would embrace and love me time and time again. No matter how much I hurt them. Because I WILL NOT blight another second of their happi¨C


    Then¡­ Of course I make the mistake of opening my eyes before starting to move my flesh, and for the first time in so long I get to stare into Tretion¡¯s wondrous crimson eyes. Find myself lost in those smoky black tendrils that run through them.


    Staring directly back into mine.


    My watcher smiles, tired but¡­ drowning in joy. ¡°Good morning.¡±


    A flash of fear, and I¡¯m jerking free of them, scrambling from their soft hold and moving across the bed and toward the¨C


    Shut. The door is¡­ is shut and locked and¡­ and to get past I¡¯ll need¡­


    I grip at its handle, then push through such a gentle sting of my curse to gurgle a demand to the manor.


    Give me a key¡­. Please.


    No.


    I huff and sort of¡­ kick at the door. Let Naranggas wriggle and slap at the maybe bubbles in useless anger.


    The only way out is through the two women behind me.


    So¡­ I take a deep breath, and turn. Fight so hard to keep my face as blank as possible when our gazes will meet.


    I¡­ I almost crack immediately when I see them. How¡­ how happy they look! How close and perfect and¡­ and everything I¡­ Everything I wanted, but¡­ Don¡¯t deserve. No matter how much they think they want to share it with me.


    Tretion¡¯s moved to sit on the bed¡¯s edge, her tendrils a strange wriggly mess that I know to signal both worry and¡­ and bubbling happiness that forces me to turn my gaze from her¡¯s.


    Awnya has slid down to the floor, legs crossed. Golden eyes sing of¡­ of a stubborn focus with a glimmer of¡­ of something else. I don¡¯t know. It¡¯s been too long and¡­ and even now she¡¯s changed so much! Not physically but¡­ other things. Gaze seems more¡­ weathered but also like¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits! Was she always this gorgeous!?!


    A long pause settles between us as¡­ as they seem to study me. I¡­ I have to look away as their eyes dance over my burns. They must have changed me out of my torn up armored clothing because now I¡¯m dressed in a big baggy shirt and simple shorts.


    ¡°Would you like some food?¡± Tretion asks softly.


    ¡°Or a bath?¡± Awnya adds with a soft smile. ¡°No offense girl but¡­ You smell like the messy day we all just had.¡±


    I let out a sigh and shake my head, then point vaguely in a sort of¡­ off and away direction. A simple gesture to hopefully convey my desire.


    I want to leave. Let me go.


    I expect¡­ I dunno. More stubborn refusals. Maybe for them to rush me and¡­ and smother me with their soul songs again. Even brace myself to curl my new ocean of soul tails close to¡­ to stop them for as long as possible.


    ¡°Why¡¯s that?¡± Awnya asks while leaning her head over into Tretion¡¯s knee. Like¡­ like she¡¯s settling in for¡­ For some long¡­ something with her watcher.


    A long talk with the little monster.


    I growl and look down at my talons. Flex them, trying to¡­ to figure out how to convey everything. How to¡­ But then I see it. Something that could convey what I need.


    So I point at it. Hard and with a wince of pain. Awnya¡¯s cute little dagger and¡­ and the three scale charms I¡¯d pointedly ignored when I carried it back to the manor.


    Scales I''d last seen dotting the ashen pile her father left behind after I killed him.


    She¡¯d kept it strapped to her hip through the night and when she twists to look down I can tell from her sudden wince that she understands¡­ at least in part¡­ my message.


    I¡¯m the monster that cursed your father. That KILLED him. That¡¯s why you should want NOTHING to do with me!


    She unhooks the dagger, holster and all, and settles it in her lap.


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± She swallows while fingers trail over the cold stone scales. ¡°That. Tretion told me what happened. What¡­¡± She takes a deep breath, seems¡­ seems a little caught off guard by her own emotions as a few tears fall when she whispers. ¡°I wanted to thank you for so long. For¡­ for being there for him at the end and¡­ and helping him pass painlessly rather than¨C¡±


    A beat, then I¡¯m hissing, loud and angry and¡­ and¡­ And a demand for her to stop. Stop trying to¡­ to¡­ to make it¨C


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t your fault.¡± Awnya¡¯s eyes dart back up to fix on mine, voice fighting to be heard over my outcry of fury. ¡°You¡­ you may not feel that. But, Lyra, Tretion told me that he regretted everything. Wanted to¨C¡±


    I slam a talon into the door behind me, cutting her off with the surprisingly loud bang.


    NO!


    So I point to Tretion¡¯s core with talon and Naranggas. Hoping it screams out to them¡­


    I KILLED HER!!!


    A pause, flashes of recognition tear at their expressions.


    ¡°Beloved.¡± Tretion winces. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ve spent the past ten years blaming myself for that. And¡­¡±


    I jerk back, feel my¡­ my legs weaken at¡­ at the thought that¡­ that she¡¯s even partially felt guilt over my mistakes.


    This wonderful watcher smiles so sadly as she sees my reaction. ¡°But it wasn¡¯t my fault, and it was certainly not yours. We were both victims of another¡¯s cruelty and horrible circumstances.¡±


    That helps me settle a bit as I glare off to the side. She¡¯s wrong but¡­ at least she¡¯d not like¡­ blaming herself.


    ¡°And I¡¯m so sorry you had to bear those burdens alone.¡± Tretion whispers, even trembling now. Tears freely flowing as her words become more and more choked by her sadness. ¡°I¡¯m sorry that¡­ that I couldn¡¯t come and¡­ and find you and¡­¡±


    I fight so hard not to go to her. To¡­ to comfort the woman who gave me everything she could. A home, and¡­ and her seemingly endless love.


    Awnya sets aside the dagger and moves to sit beside her watcher on the bed, takes up a hand and kisses the knuckles, then tilts up to nuzzle her brilliant mane of head tendrils. Murmurs soft comforts I can¡¯t help but long to add my own voice to.


    Tretion leans into her, returning a few soft kisses as tendrils wrap about her Fae, then pushes through the little sobs. ¡°I don¡¯t even know how long you¡¯ve been out of the Blighted sea¡­ Or how¡­ Did you find the songs Awnya laid at the border of the woods?¡±


    It¡¯s only then that I notice my half raised talon toward them. Drop it. Then tilt my head in confusion. Border? Border of¡­ what woods?


    ¡°How did you get back?¡± Her Fae asks.


    I lean back against the door. Shrug.


    ¡°Like¡­ You don¡¯t remember or¡­¡±


    I sigh. Give her a look that hopefully conveys how little that should matter.


    ¡°This is going to be really complicated without you talking.¡± Awnya sighs, the first sign of frustration.


    Tretion¡¯s not taken her eyes off me, even when crying. But¡­ recovers to ask. ¡°Would writing be easier?¡±


    I consider that, then give a small nod, cross my arms. Dig a talon into my burned flesh as I let out a huff of frustration.


    ¡°Okay. We can start there!¡± Awnya¡¯s smile returns as she¡¯s hopping up and stepping over to Tretion¡¯s desk. Then she¡¯s ruffling around until she has a notebook and pencil. Then she walks over and stops about three feet away to plop down on the floor, then holds the two objects up toward me.


    Tretion rises while I just¡­ stare at the notebook.


    Deep breath. Then I take them, but I don¡¯t sit as Awnya¡¯s watcher takes a seat beside her.


    Writing is¡­ ugh it¡¯s hard. As hard as talking ever was. Both due to years of not doing it which ensures my letters are messy and gross, But also¡­ also the deep roiling mess that rises in my stomach as I try to communicate with words the things in my stupid monster head.


    Things I know will hurt them.


    Words that¡­ that I just¡­ would rather Thendra parse through and speak for me. Turn my nonsense thoughts into something worthwhile.


    So I try to keep it simple.


    Let me go.


    Will hurt you both again.


    Am monster.


    It¡¯s messy and ugly looking but¡­ It should tell them everything they need to know.


    Then I just¡­ drop the notebook to fall on the floor between us and step back farther away.


    Hoping¡­ hoping this will show them how stupid it is to try and keep me here.


    Tretion reaches out to pull the notebook close. Opens it so they both can read my words.


    A long pause.


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ Okay. No to the first. No and no to everything in the second, and very much no not at all to that last part.¡± Awnya huffs out. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits, Lyra, I am SO glad we found you.¡±


    I chance a glance to see such a smirk that slices through the pain on her face.


    Tretion takes a breath, then whispers. ¡°Let¡¯s¡­ get the first out of the way. Okay?¡±


    Awnya nods. ¡°Yeah, good idea. Start with the core of this. Then¡­ move out as needed. Would you like to start or¡­?¡±


    ¡°If... If that¡¯s alright.¡± Tretion nods, then turns to look up at me. Face braced and attempting to remain confident but¡­ also very um¡­ calm? Something else? ¡°Lyra. You¡¯ve been abused and abandoned your entire life by the people you loved the most. Individuals and communities that should have adored and taken care of you.¡±


    Old memories bubble up. Things that would have drug me into a horrid Waking Nightmare in previous years.


    I¡­ I just¡­ I mean she¡¯s not wrong but¡­ but that doesn¡¯t¡­


    ¡°Would you disagree with that?¡± She asks very softly.


    I¡­ very slowly I shrug and shake my head. But then¡­ shake it harder when she opens her mouth to speak. Wave a talon to stop her.


    She tilts her head expectantly, and offers me the notebook.


    I sigh and just¡­ hold up three fingers on my right talon. Point to the both of them. Then thumb a finger out and away.


    A pause. Tretion nods as she puzzles out my meaning. Awnya tilts her head then¡­


    I see understanding crack like a flash of lightning in their eyes. A flood of so many emotions as they get it.


    Three who didn¡¯t do that to me.


    Awnya


    Tretion


    And the one that causes the conflict in their eyes. That makes Awnya nearly growl and Tretion pause as her tendrils writhe a bit.


    Thendra


    Tretion calms first. ¡°I¡¯m glad to see that you don¡¯t think of us as being ones that did those things.¡±


    A pause, then Awnya speaks up. ¡°Lyra back¡­ The last time we spoke, in the Twilight Court. I said something. Something that¡¯s haunted me ever since then. When¡­ I said we can fix this.¡±


    I visibly wince. The memory is old and¡­ small compared to everything else. But¡­ it still stings.


    ¡°Tretion told me how much that hurt you. But I¡­ Lyra I wasn¡¯t talking about you. I was trying to say that we could fix the situation with the stupid Dreamer blighted Fae that just¡­ just wouldn¡¯t¡­¡±


    She stops herself. Takes a deep breath.


    ¡°But it doesn¡¯t matter. I shouldn¡¯t have said it. You don''t need fixing. Never have, and I''ve never believed you did.¡± She huffs. ¡°I should have taken Tretion and you and just¡­ left. Let my old mentor take care of things and focused on helping you.¡±


    I can¡¯t hold her gaze, end up just¡­ turning my head to stare up at the ceiling.


    ¡°And¡­ and then¡­ I¡­ I¡¯m so sorry I got Yuna involved. And Equin and¨C¡±


    Her watcher leans over and pulls her into a hug as this beautiful Fae just¡­ Just¡­ falls apart. Sobbing and blaming herself for all of my mistakes and messed up nonsense. That wasn¡¯t her fault though! I¡­ I¡¯m the one who¡­ who cursed them in the first place! Who bled rot in front of them and¡­


    I reach down and snatch up the notebook. Force out the words onto the page. They¡¯re messy and barely readable and¡­ and probably misspelled but¡­ They come out. Then I tear the page free and shove it into her hands, step back before she can touch mine.


    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    None your fault.


    ¡°I¡­¡± She huffs, looks back up to me. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry Lyra. If I hadn¡¯t¨C¡±


    I shake my head and wave my talons, then pull my shirt down to point at my oldest cursed mark. Then¡­ then open the notebook and point to one of the lines.


    Am monster.


    ¡°Is that what Thendra¡¯s told you? What she¡¯s pushed you into thinking?¡± She growls, her sorrow cracking into fury. ¡°Tretion told me that she calls you one of her Reavers now.¡±


    I nod once. Hard. Point to the words again. Point to the phrase above.


    Will hurt you again.


    Then let my ocean of a seabed soul spread out to encompass basically everything around us, have my jellyfish freely swim about.


    Try to¡­ to encourage them to¡­ to look scary or growl like they did last night or¨C


    But then the little traitors swim right up to both of these two wonderful women and just¡­. Just snuggle with their souls! Coo soft and happy noises as I¡­ I¡¯m trying to¨C


    Tretion giggles at the sudden sensation, ¡°Is¡­ Lyra you¡­ You¡¯re not a monster. And I understand that this¡­ this change is not one that came pleasantly but your soul is gorgeous. It always has been but... it now even more matches the beautiful form you designed for yourself. Reflects the kind and gentle nature of your heart.¡±


    I step back to the wall, her¡­ her words just¡­


    ¡°Oh yeah, absolutely!¡± Awnya adds after wiping her tears away. ¡°You were out cold but we gushed about it so much before you woke up. Couldn¡¯t stop watching how your cute new tails like to bob and weave about when you sleep. Dreamer¡¯s Tits, they¡­ they almost look like they¡¯re in the ocean! And these little wiggly creatures are so friendly and cute and just¡­ a perfect echo to your beautiful soul and body.¡±


    I pull up talons to my face, cover my eyes and the tears that start to bubble. They¡­ They think that¡­ that I¡¯m¡­


    Naranggas curl close to try and hide me as jellyfish return to snuggle up to their mother¡¯s soul.


    I sense Awnya begin to rise, but Tretion lays a gentle hand on her shoulder. ¡°Lyra?¡±


    Deep breaths.


    ¡°Would you like a hug?¡±


    I shake my head, let out a little gurgle of a growl as I furiously wipe away my tears. I¡­ I chance a small look through my fingers. Awnya winces and sighs, but¡­ sits. I let out my own huff as I think most of the moisture is gone, then¡­ then point out and away again.


    Tretion smiles, ¡°No. We¡¯re not letting you go back to her.¡±


    I growl. It¡¯s a small thing but¡­ should convey my¡­ my fury at¡­ at all that!


    ¡°Exactly. Lyra I¡­ I need you to¡­ to start to think about something for me.¡± Awnya leans forward. ¡°Or¡­ actually for yourself but do it for me if you need an excuse.¡±


    I huff and glare as best I can.


    ¡°A while back I met a girl. Her name is Nufera. She was a slave in¡­ well it doesn¡¯t matter. But she was bound to a cunt who literally grew these horrid fucking binding feathers in her neck and soul.¡±


    I wince and my glare falters.


    Awnya grimaces. ¡°Seems you know of them? What those feathers do?¡±


    I nod. Looking away as I sense the comparison she might be about to make.


    Ukalon¡¯s feathers.


    Horrid things that¡­ that valuable slaves get. Monsters would plant their roots in the soul and grow them. Colored to match the status or purpose of the slave. Highly sensitive to touch. Literally like¡­ like could read their master¡¯s emotions if tuned well. Could flood their subject with pleasure or pain depending on their owner¡¯s will when grabbed or touched.


    Nearly Impossible to remove.


    ¡°See, here¡¯s the thing Lyra.¡± Awnya continues. ¡°I don¡¯t need to understand much about her mistress to know that she hurt her. And that absolutely every shred of happiness she got was balanced against threats if she didn¡¯t submit.¡±


    Awnya¡¯s voice goes quiet. ¡°She hated me, Lyra. For freeing her. And¡­ and that was before she got recaptured and¡­ and tortured. Was used as bait to try and kill me even. But¡­ I saved her. Got her out again. And you know what? She STILL hates me. Would¡­ would still give up everything to go back to her cunt of a mistress because she was broken into thinking that¡¯s where she was happy. Where she was loved!¡±


    Tretion murmurs. ¡°She¡¯s gotten better, Awnya. Nelops tells me she¡¯s gotten swept up by some kind girl who¡¯s very sweet on her. Someone who she¡¯d never want to leave.¡±


    ¡°Good to know,¡± Awnya leans over to give her watcher a kiss on the cheek. ¡°But not my point.¡±


    Then she turns back up to face me. ¡°Lyra, I will bear that girl¡¯s hatred for the rest of my life. And I will do it happily if it means she remains free and safe. Because I already believed I lost one amazing soul to the false choices that come with being enslaved and conditioned into wanting to remain that way. Yours.¡±


    I give her a side-long look. Her expression is¡­ not blank but. Hard. stubborn. The look of a girl about to speak a truth she knows will hurt.


    ¡°And I will bear your hatred too, because I love you. And I¡¯m not going to let you fall back into that cunt¡¯s arms again.¡± She growls. ¡°When I say I won¡¯t let you go, It¡¯s not because I expect you to love and stay with me. It¡¯s because I mean to never let you fall back into that.¡±


    A long pause as¡­ as I take in her words. Considering¡­ how¡­ just how stupid it is to compare me to¡­ to some stupid slave girl!


    I¡¯m not a slave!


    I choose to stay! And besides, Thendra doesn¡¯t love me and I don¡¯t WANT her to!


    I flinch at¡­ at something when the thought rolls through me¡­ but ride the anger forward.


    She keeps me and¡­ and takes care of me and¡­ and WANTS me. No¡­ no matter how broken and stupid I am. Better a tool than alone or¡­ or hurting people I love!!!


    I raise a hand to dig two talon¡¯s nails gently into my temples in frustration as a long silence passes between us. Trying to¡­ to think of the words and things to just¡­ convince them to let me go. Stop trying to¡­ to¡­


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Tretion prompts softly. ¡°You¡­ you never told me about your time under her control, but¡­ I was there for your Waking Nightmares. And¡­ and you often talked during them¡­¡±


    I freeze as a flood of old memories bubble up. Flashes of the things that would blight me during that year with her¡­


    ¡°I heard you pleading for her to stop hurting you during quite a few of them. Promised you¡¯d do whatever she wanted.¡± The watcher whispers. ¡°And¡­ and even sometimes a few other names.¡±


    A long pause. My breathing quickens as¡­ as I¡­ I mean I knew I would¡­ but¡­ but she couldn¡¯t have heard¡­


    ¡°You deserve real happiness, beloved.¡± She continues. ¡°Unburdened from that.¡±


    I glance back at her, shake my head ever so slightly. My response to¡­ to¡­ to all of that.


    No. You''re both WRONG!


    Then she smiles, and¡­ and it¡¯s almost a¡­ a rueful thing? ¡°We¡¯re not giving you a choice. Not like before. I shouldn¡¯t have let you take us to the Fae Wood that second time. Should have kept you away from those who obviously hurt you. Never even entertained the idea of going back to that wretched woman.¡±


    My talon falls away as¡­ as I glare at the floor. Images of¡­ of the life that would have been if¡­ if I¡¯d just been less stupid and broken.


    ¡°Or like back in the Twilight Court.¡± Awnya adds with a sigh. ¡°I should have just¡­ called on another elder to handle things. Cleared your curse¡¯s commands, and left with you two. Spent a century just¡­ fluttering about the Rifts together. Visiting the oceans and forests, enticing you both into Amwella dances and¡­¡±


    My glare shatters and I swallow hard as¡­ as she trails off. A spark of¡­ of something rolls down my spine as¡­ as images titter about in my stupid head to match those last words. Memories of our loving making and¡­ and seeing how¡­ how these two sit so close and hold each other and how¡­ how they held me and¡­


    ¡°Ah¡­ See? There it is.¡± Awnya murmurs softly and with such an unfair smirk aimed at me. ¡°You want that too, don¡¯t you? You don¡¯t want to choose Thendra.¡±


    I jerk back, shake my head emphatically.


    No.


    No no no no no.


    I can¡¯t. That¡¯s¨C


    ¡°You¡¯ve always been a bad Liar, girl.¡± She quirks an eyebrow. ¡°C¡¯mon. Be honest. It was SO hard to crawl out of that bed this morning, wasn¡¯t it?¡±


    I squeeze eyes shut, shake my head more as I try to step back.


    But¡­ but there¡¯s only the shut door! I¡­ I can¡¯t get away!


    I hear her watcher sigh, sense her sort of¡­ I think¡­ place a restraining hand on Awnya¡¯s shoulder.


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Tretion whispers.


    I just¡­ Let out a little gurgling growl of annoyance.


    ¡°If¡­ If you¡­¡± She takes a deep and steadying breath.


    I open my eyes to find her expression a twisted mess made worse by her head tendrils quivering. ¡°I¡­ I mean to do the same thing as Awnya. And¡­ and you can hate me too. If¡­ If you don¡¯t feel that way toward me anymore. I understand.¡±


    My eyes go wide. As¡­ as I¡­ I don¡¯t want her to¡­ but it¡¯s¡­ I¡¯m the one who¡¯s broken! Not her! She¡­ If¡­ If I wasn¡¯t so¡­ so horrible and¡­ Then I¡¯d¡­ I¡¯d want to¡­


    ¡°The manor is bigger now.¡± She smiles through the pain. ¡°Thousands live here. We have¡­ have big lake rooms and gardens and that big library and¡­ and the food is so much better too. You don¡¯t need to be near either of us. We just¡­ we¡¯re not going to let you leave and fall back into her.¡±


    I open my mouth. Wanting to¡­ to¡­ to talk for the first time in years. To scream at these two perfect souls that¡­ that I¡¯m the danger!


    I¡¯m the horrid blighted soul drinking monster!


    LET ME GO SO YOU CAN BE HAPPY AGAIN!!!


    ¡°Exactly! You¡¯re free here.¡± Awnya murmurs. ¡°And¡­ I messed up and¡­ and maybe it¡¯s in ways that can¡¯t be forgiven. But I¡¯ll bear that if it means giving you the life this stupid Dream keeps snatching away from you.¡±


    They should just¡­ let me go and leave me to rot in the sea beyond!!! Because it¡¯s better to be alone and unloved than hurting them!!!


    I visibly jerk at the thought.


    ¡°We know some really kind people who¡­ who we¡¯ve told about you.¡± Tretion¡¯s trembling now. ¡°They can help you. They¡¯ll¡­ they¡¯ll do better than I could. Have¡­ have experience and¡­¡±


    Awnya takes her watcher¡¯s hand, murmurs soft encouragements.


    ¡°No.¡± Tretion huffs at her, makes a point to look up and smile at me. Despite her breaking heart at the next words. ¡°I wasn¡¯t good enough for you. But I¡¯m going to make fucking sure you get the life you deserve, Lyra.¡±


    Everything just¡­ stops inside me for a good few seconds.


    She¡­ no.


    No!


    NO!


    Tretion she¡­ she was PERFECT!


    IS PERFECT!


    I¡¯m the monster!


    I¡¯m the¡­ the one who KILLED HER AND AWNYA¡¯S DAD AND¨C


    But I can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t say the words.


    Need¡­ need to¡­


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Tretion sees my building fury and sudden wash of tears. ¡°I¨C¡±


    But I¡¯m already enduring the curse''s bite, and calling up my song of Fae Shaping. Gurgling out nonsense sounds that¡­ that should weave my tongue back so I can tell these two just how¨C


    But nothing happens.


    Because this scarred tongueless mess of a body is exactly what It¡¯s supposed to be.


    I hiss and spit the thought away. Trying to¡­ to recall my older song. The ones from before the burns. Back from¡­ from my time in the Fae wood with¡­ with a mother who¡­


    Who hates me.


    That sputters the mess into nothing. So I try again.


    Naranggas and jellyfish curl close as I¡­ as I¡­ as I try to¡­ But it¡¯s NOT THERE!!!


    Tears start to pour down my cheeks as I fall to my knees in crushing realization.


    I tossed aside my treasured perfect Fae form for¡­ for this horrid body of wordless agonies!?!


    Buried my old amazing body beneath a decade of guilt and shame that¡­ that I can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t even lift up to¡­ to tell these amazing lovers that they¡¯re perfect and wonderful and deserve better than me!


    Two gentle hands reach out to take mine.


    I jerk up to see Awnya scooted up to me, a sad smile on her lips. Then she¡¯s singing with me. Eyes alight with the fire of one who hears my pleas and means to answer their call.


    Weaving a melody of a wonderful Fae girl. One she loves and wishes to see whole and well and happy. Devoid of pain and all the wretched wounds this life has laid upon her shoulders. Is willing to¡­ to give this girl she sings of anything she needs.


    Even a person to hate, if she needs to clutch Spite close to heal.


    I¡¯m sobbing harder now¡­ as¡­ as I still just¡­ just can¡¯t find the SONG. Don¡¯t¡­ don¡¯t even remember this girl she¡¯s singing about.


    Can¡¯t feel her inside me anymore. I know the pains she sings of seeing this girl suffer, understand it all too well but¡­ But¡­ she¡¯s gone and¡­ and I¡¯m the horrible stupid blighted monster that remains.


    I¡¯m wailing now. What falls from my lips are barely even a song, no matter if my curse insists otherwise.


    Just¡­ just a never ending litany of sorrows to bleed from my mouth.


    Awnya she¡­ she¡¯s trying so hard. And I feel when her song shifts to¡­ to such a muddled thing of sorrows. A harmony to my pain just¡­ from the side of one watching someone they love bear a wound they struggle to heal.


    But with the promises that she¡¯ll love me either way. That¡¯s she¡¯ll continue to give me anything I need no matter how many scars I carry.


    And then I just fall into her arms. Let this wonderful Fae hold the girl she thinks she sings of. Even¡­ even if all I can give her is this horrid monster that is me.


    Broken and scarred and¡­ and¡­


    A pause and¡­ and I sense Tretion pull back, can almost see her worry that¡­ that I blame her or hate her or¨C


    And so I crawl up to look past this kind Fae¡¯s shoulder and reach for the watcher. Get to see her face twist from blank smothering pain to a thing of such hope and love.


    Then she¡¯s nearly scrambling forward to hold us as my ocean of a soul wriggles and envelopes our little huddle. The watcher wrapping wonderful tendrils through mine and Awnya¡¯s hair as we just¡­ just weep our sorrows.


    A Lamentation for the girl I killed when the Blighted sea swept me away. Got her burned and¡­ and bit out her tongue and¡­ and hurt the people who loved her SO much over and over and OVER AND OVER!!!


    It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s been years since Awnya¡¯s known me. And¡­ and we were only close for those weeks in the Midday Court. And¡­ and even Tretion would struggle to remember. Even if she could sing I never really told her enough about myself to let her help with this song.


    But¡­ Then a few of my jellyfish yip and coo for their mother¡¯s attention. Snuggle close and whisper that¡­ That they remember me!?!


    That they know and remember their Fae mother well and can share these old songs with her?


    I¡¯m a blubbering mess at their love for me, and end up needing to take a few tries to¡­ to¡­ growl my thanks and beg them to¡­ Yes! Please! I¡¯ll¡­ I don¡¯t need it for long. Just¡­ just enough to¡­ to let them know. To make sure they¡¯ll let me go! Find their happiness and cast out the monster who will just keep blighting it!


    And so they murmur my first song to me. The one I¡¯d woven so so long ago to replace the horrid blighted human thing I¡¯d been wrapped in. And I let them lead me through it.


    Then Awnya hears them too! Somehow¡­ somehow joins her voice to ours and¡­ and¡­


    And then that old odd wiggly thing I¡¯m supposed to have in my mouth returns in a gentle wash of warmth and odd sensations and a little pain.


    Deep Breaths as I let the song fade and adjust to this weird new thing. Ignore all the weird tastes. Focus on¡­ of making it tell these two the things they NEED to hear!


    ¡°Nnnn.¡±


    I¡­ I just¡­ I¡¯m still broken and¡­ and words are just¡­ just so hard.


    ¡°Nnnnnnnn¡­¡±


    Stupid thing!!! Dreamer Blighter nonsense flab of horrid flesh!!!


    I pull back from their embrace. Squeeze my eyes shut. Focus harder on the words. ¡°Nnnnot.¡±


    Finally!


    ¡°Yy- yoour.¡±


    One more word. Thank the blighted cunt of a Dreamer they¡¯re both so wonderfully patient and just¡­ letting me figure out this stupid thing.


    ¡°Ff- fauult.¡± I finish, and open my eyes.


    They both are just¡­ staring. Faces and souls a wash of such¡­ such joy and worry and sadness and¡­ and¡­


    I pull my Naranggas free of their souls. Needing to¡­ to clear my head of¡­ of their nonsense affections for the girl they think I am.


    ¡°Tr- t- Trretii¡­¡±


    Why is her name so hard!?!


    ¡°Yes?¡± She blubbers out and scoots closer and¡­ and offers a hand.


    I¡­ I want to¡­ to¡­ But I can¡¯t. But¡­ but also I don¡¯t want her to think I hate her!


    ¡°P- p- prrrfect.¡± I murmur while just¡­ let my fingers brush her knuckles. ¡°Allwys. Prrrfect.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ oh Lyra I¡­¡± She stammers, a glowing adoration bubbling up through her everything and sending her tendrils into a wiggly mess.


    I turn to Awnya.


    Need to get this all out before they¡­ they think stupid things.


    ¡°A- Awwnye¡­¡± I force out, keeping eye fixed on the hand of hers that still touches my knee. ¡°Pprrfect.¡±


    They¡­ they shuffle closer, murmur stupid things about me, but pause when I flinch back and shake my head.


    Need them to understand!!!


    ¡°M¨C M¨C My ff¨C fa¨C uult.¡± I nearly snarl to emphasize the words. ¡°Mm¨C mon¨C monster.¡±


    ¡°No. No Lyra you¡¯re not a¨C¡± Tretion huffs.


    ¡°Nn¨C nneed go!¡± Is the best I can growl out before she or Awnya can add more. ¡°Ww¨C will hrrrt gan!¡±


    A long pause as I see Tretion¡¯s tendrils whirl in such a tangled mess of pain and love and desire to hold me. But¡­ then her Fae breaks the silence with the worst words possible!!!


    ¡°Yeah. Yeah. You might.¡± Awnya whispers, reaching out to carefully cup my cheek and tilt me up. ¡°That¡¯s always a risk.¡±


    I¡­ I carefully peer up into her stubborn golden amber eyes.


    ¡°But... I¡¯ll take any pain you offer me over the feeling of thinking you''re gone again or¡­ or suffering her.¡±


    I wince, and¡­ and slump. Annoyed and angry and¡­ and¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits this stupid flap of mouth flesh was supposed to help me convince them!


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ Lyra the past ten years they¡­¡± Tretion¡¯s face turns¡­ oh she just¡­ lets such a wash of pain flow out of her as tendrils curl out and carefully around me. ¡°I can¡¯t survive that again. Thinking that you either died or¡­ or letting that cruel monster continue to¡­ to hurt you and¡­¡±


    ¡°N¨C No! Y¨C you hppy.¡± I shake my head furiously, smothering the urge to go to her. Mme¡­hha¡­ ha¨C¡±


    But¡­ but I can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t get the word out. Feels wrong somehow and¡­ but I am!


    ¡­ Aren¡¯t I?


    Thendra IS my happiness.


    R¨C right?


    But as I sit here and think about these past ten years I¡­ I can¡¯t find it. Struggle to find any memories I¡¯d like to rush back into. Just¡­ wordless need for her heat and warmth and¡­ and the¡­ the ability to just stop thinking and let her handle everything. Even¡­ even the sex was just¡­


    Pain.


    Horridly perfect pain given to the monster who deserved it.


    ¡°Are you?¡± Awnya whispers, trying to catch my gaze with hers as she sees my doubts. ¡°Truly? With all¡­ all these scars and wounds and¡­ and¡­ Do you really believe Thendra loves you?¡±


    I shake my head. Don¡¯t meet her gaze as all the words I was thinking might convince her just¡­ fall away.


    ¡°Then why go back to her?¡±


    ¡°B¨C bbetr as t¨C tool.¡± I huff, look down at my hands. ¡°Nn¨C no mur ussse¨C uselessss¨C p¨C pain.¡±


    Tretion visibly winces. Awnya¡¯s eyes flash with such anger.


    ¡°The cunt mentioned something about that.¡± The Fae whispers. ¡°Back when she held me tied up while you went to fight Furthonois.¡±


    I wince. ¡°Ss¨C ssry.¡±


    Tretion glances between us, confused but¡­ doesn¡¯t interrupt.


    ¡°It¡¯s alright, things were a mess. But¡­ Let me take a guess?¡± Awnya murmurs. ¡°She told you the pain that comes with love is useless?¡±


    I very nearly flinch at¡­ at how well she reads that. Both glad I don¡¯t have to shove out the words but¡­ but also suddenly very VERY scared as this golden eyed Fae touches on such an old and¡­ and important memory.


    ¡°P¨C Per¨C Perpose.¡± I manage to growl out. ¡°Hher Pp¨C pain h¨C has mm-eening.¡±


    I¡­ I don¡¯t know what to expect. Maybe¡­ maybe horror or¡­ or revulsion? For them to¡­ to finally spit and hiss and cast me out? Finally break me free of this horrid strangling emotion I need to smother?


    But Awnya just¡­ huffs and shakes her head. Like my answer is just¡­ the most expected thing!?!


    ¡°In these past years¡­¡± Tretion lets out a sigh but¡­ also seems unsurprised. ¡°Lyra, we''ve helped many, many people. Many slaves.¡±


    A soft hiss escapes my lips unbidden at the word. But¡­ she holds up a placating hand in a ¡®let me finish¡¯ gesture.


    I end the sound and wait.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± She drops the hand and gives me a sad smile. ¡°That thing you just said. That¡­ idea. About pain needing to have meaning. That¡¯s a thing often told to them as their mistresses and masters are trying to break their new slaves. That¡­ that the abuse and pain and misery is okay because it serves a purpose. Will make their life simple and easy if they obey.¡±


    Awnya growls, clenches her fists. ¡°Such a horrid Dreamer Blighted¡­ LIE. That such horrors become like¡­ good or acceptable because some monster sees purpose in them. Uses it to twist people into choosing the only real option that lets them survive without the abuse.¡±


    I¡­ move back and away from them to lean against the door, curl legs close. Not¡­ not even beginning to know the words to¡­ to explain how wrong she is. How¡­ how I¡­


    ¡°Nn¨C need it.¡± I mumble.


    ¡°Really?¡± Tretion asks. Voice calm and precise.


    I nod.


    Then her voice goes very very quiet. ¡°Lyra¡­ I¡­ There was a name that you¡¯d often say during your Waking Nightmares. I¡­ I never met her but¡­ I think she was a Reaver?¡±


    I go stiff, and¡­ and my body is suddenly shaking as I snap up to¡­ to stare at her. Wide eyed and¡­ and¡­ Hungry Reavers pinning me down and¡­ and taking their bites and¡­ and Twital¡­ she¡­ her laughing and¡­ and promising to keep¡­ keep¡­ keep hurting me night after night after¡­


    As I remember the blighted woman I can feel a¡­ a hissing bubble up. It¡¯s honestly more of a little¡­ like wails of pain. A pleading sound for her to just¡­ stop.


    Forget this. Don¡¯t¡­ please don¡¯t¨C D¨C Don¡¯t say it.


    Awnya winces, and I can see in her eyes that¡­ that she knows too. That her watcher told her how¡­ how I was¨C


    ¡°She raped you.¡± Tretion whispers. ¡°And she wasn¡¯t the first.¡±


    Old memories just¡­ won¡¯t stop bubbling up. Of¡­ Of that week of¡­ of feeding me to her Reavers and¡­ and then how¡­ How Twital had hunted me and found me and¡­ and forced me to¡­ to¡­


    I want to look away. Want to snarl and hiss and spit and run and hide and never have to think about how that blighted Reaver pinned me to the floor and laughed as she fucked me while I wept and pleaded.


    How¡­ how I was just too weak and stupid and useless to stop it from happening then.


    Breathing too fast, squeezing my eyes shut. Letting out such a growling hissing pathetic sound as my Naranggas begin to flail about in furious warning.


    But I¡¯m so much stronger now! Why¡­ why does this¡­ I should be this way now! I¡¯ve killed Thendra¡¯s brood of Reavers a dozen times over since then! Watched that horrid cunt¡¯s face twist and writhe in pain as I blighted her soul and let my jellyfish feast!!!


    ¡°Thendra told them to do it. Didn¡¯t she?¡±


    Jerking to a halt I¡­ I want to shake my head. Want to¡­ to scream that she¡¯s wrong!


    That¡­ that my dark goddess didn¡¯t know or¡­ or just¡­


    But I can¡¯t.


    Because I know now, even more than before¡­ that they are hers. Every action those horrid blighted cunts take is¡­ was just¡­ Either something she let them do or¡­ or WANTED them to do¡­


    Maybe¡­ The thought turns my blood to ice and heart to a rotted mess.


    ¡°I do NOTHING by mistake.¡± My dark goddess had purred. ¡°EVERY torment I leverage shapes you into a thing of MY design.¡±


    All part of her plan. Extensions of the will of the storm. Commands to shape me into her tool. Even before¡­ Especially before I came back that night after Tretion died¡­


    ¡°The purpose of that wasn¡¯t to make you stronger, Lyra. Wasn¡¯t to help you. It was to break you into a cycle of pain and punishment. Emotionally latching you onto her while isolating you from anyone else you might bond to.¡± Tretion whispers. ¡°You deserve to be free of that. Deserve love and healing and¨C¡±


    I furiously shake my head. ¡°Nno.¡±


    ¡°Why not?¡± She presses, voice so soft and¡­ and focused and¡­


    ¡°NnO!¡± I whimper, curling tighter on myself. ¡°I Dd- Donn¡¯t!¡±


    ¡°Why not?¡± Awnya asks, then shuffles just a little closer.


    ¡°Mmon¡­ mmmoo¨C¡± I stumble over the word as I¡¯m suddenly shaking and¡­ and fight back a wash of tears.


    ¡°You¡¯re not a monster.¡± Awnya murmurs, is now close enough to touch. ¡°No matter what she¡¯s twisted you into doing. You are NOT responsible for her cruelties. And she IS a monster for forcing you to endure and serve them.¡±


    I just¡­ growl and¡­ and try to glare at her but¡­ Her golden eyes sing of nothing but love for me. For this girl that I¡¯m not! That¡­ that I killed all those years ago so that¡­ that I could¡­


    ¡°You¡¯ve done what you had to, to survive.¡± Her watcher looks at me with nothing but love and understanding as she repeats words from so long ago. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you agree?¡±


    I tear my eyes free of the amber, let her crimson ones draw me into her gaze. Nod once as I wipe at the stupid tears.


    ¡°I was surviving my wretched family.¡± She stares back. ¡°And you¡¯ve survived Thendra.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± I manage to blubber out. ¡°I¡­ bb-ut¡­ Sh¨C she keeps me.¡±


    Tretion holds out a hand to me. ¡°I know. I understand how she ensnared you now.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but¡­ but reach out and latch onto it as my everything is being peeled away. As¡­ as this wonderful watcher just¡­ opens me up and talks about all my most horrid things as if she¡¯s reading a beloved book.


    Despite how wretched it is.


    ¡°You¡¯d been abandoned by everyone you loved.¡± She grips my talon with such a gentle unyielding strength. ¡°And then she found you, alone and¡­ and hurting and¡­ and she offered to give you a home. If¡­ if only you would let her hurt you and force you into becoming whatever she wanted you to be.¡±


    I nod as more tears just¡­ keep bubbling up. As she shows me in words the terrible choices I¡¯ve had to make to find just a little of the things I¡¯d lost.


    Then her Fae murmurs so gently. ¡°Would you let us give you something better?¡±


    I turn back to Awnya. She¡¯s smirking, eyes wet with tears and blazing with¡­ with¡­ something. I¡­ I don¡¯t¡­


    Then she holds out her own hand. ¡°Stay with us.¡±


    I just¡­ stare at the offer as she continues. ¡°We love you Lyra, and want so badly to just¡­ spend the rest of the Dream with you. Want to shower you with that love you so deserve. Give you the life of endless affections and¡­ and all the good stuff. Never let you go so long as you wish to stay in our arms.¡±


    More¡­ more images and¡­ and thoughts of¡­ of how these two amazing souls just¡­ just so easily held me between them drown my thoughts. How they can¡¯t stop wanting to pull me into this love they¡¯ve built for each other, so much they practically glow with such an obvious desire to share their happiness with me.


    ¡°C¡¯mon Lyra.¡± She purrs, hovers her hand just shy of¡­ of touching mine. ¡°I promise you won¡¯t regret it.¡±


    I make a sound. A¡­ a little noise with my new tongue that just¡­ just¡­


    Tretion reaches out to hold my talon in both of hers. ¡°Let us help you.¡±


    I squeeze my eyes shut. Fight so hard to¡­ to drive away the¡­ the fluttering desire to¡­ to just¡­ just¡­ Stop fighting them.


    Just¡­


    But I¡¯ll hurt them again!


    I¡¯ll¡­ but¡­ Me being gone already hurt them. Believing me dead scarred them so much more than¡­ accidentally killing my beloved or¡­ or even Awnya¡¯s dad. Their souls aren¡¯t lying about that!!!


    I¡¯m trembling so hard now. What was a trickle of tears is now an endless stream¡­ of sadness and¡­ and agony and¡­ and¡­ worse bubbling up to drown me in their depths as I fight to not be overwhelmed by their temptations and my own terror at the thought of hurting them.


    They¡¯re so wonderful though. Both these women just¡­ wait. Souls a flutter of desire but¡­ unwilling to drag me into a relationship I may not want. That¡­ that they fear may not make me happy.


    But¡­ but I DO want it!! SO badly it HURTS!


    Want to take her hand and¡­ and tell them both how much I¡­ I¡¯ve missed them and¡­ and how much I want to be that girl they remember. No matter how broken or weak or useless she was or how much of a monster I¡¯ve let her be twisted into.


    I can¡¯t move though! Either to¡­ to try and pull away or¡­ or even to reach out to take Awnya''s hand or... or anything!!! Just¡­


    Too broken and used to letting a bigger monster guide my life and will and soul.


    So I open my eyes to find their gorgeous loving gazes of golden amber and fiery crimson.


    And I say the hardest words I¡¯ve ever needed to speak.


    ¡°H¨C He¨C lp M¨C Me.¡±

 Chapter 88: New Promise Songs, and When To Keep Them

    <u>CW</u>:


    MORE emotions and big love and much care and snuggling support. Mhmhmhm. Panic attacks and baths wiff lovers and considerations about loving and lovmaking. Then an Awnya POV at the end.


    Awnya slowly, carefully, adjusts her hand to grip mine. Her smirk twists to a full on grin of wondrous victory as my soul tails are allowed to reach out and hook around her wonderfully warm and thrumming soul.


    I¡¯m hers now. And she knows it.


    ¡°May I hug you now?¡±


    I nod stiffly and desperately. Then, slowly and carefully she crawls forward and wraps herself around me, and I can¡¯t help but lean into her touch.


    A pause, then¡­


    ¡°T¨C Tretiii¡­¡± I whisper, tug on her soft cool fingers that still grasp mine.


    Still a hard name to force out.


    She answers my little plea, and moves forward to add her arms and tendrils to this wonderful embrace. And they just¡­ hold me. Bury me in a wonderful snug of hugs for what feels like both an eternity¡­ but also only a mere whisper of time. Too quickly does Awnya gently end it, pulling back to catch my gaze with an expression that sings of love.


    ¡°Alright. First things first.¡± She says without breaking eye contact. ¡°Bath?¡±


    ¡°Muh?¡± Is the only sound I can make easily.


    Tretion nods and helps our Fae pull us all up while murmuring a request to the manor. It¡­ it responds quicker than I¡¯d ever thought possible! Within a second a little gurgle of bubbles and she suddenly has this pretty blue key in her hand!


    She moves up and past me, never releasing my talon as she fits the little pretty sapphire key into the door, and unlocks it. Revealing a wonderfully big and pretty bathroom of marvelous pale green tiles and such a big bath that sinks into the floor.


    As we enter, Tretion turns back to regard me seriously. ¡°Alright. Let¡¯s figure out how much help you want from us.¡±


    I just¡­. Blink a few times.


    ¡°She¡¯s asking¡­¡± Awnya squeezes my hand in support. ¡°Would you like us to be here while you wash?¡±


    I nod.


    ¡°Would you want our help?¡± Tretion offers her own squeeze. Working so hard to... To keep her voice neutral.


    I nod again. Twice.


    ¡°Would you want us with you in the bath?¡±


    I nod fervently as my mind is drowned in¡­ in thoughts of¡­ of the cool waters with them. And¡­ and¡­


    Awnya giggles, and¡­ and pulls my arms up. ¡°Let¡¯s get you undressed. Is this okay?¡±


    ¡°Y¨C yes.¡± I¡¯m able to whisper.


    Then they pull the big shirt up and off, and Tretion waits to take up my hand until after I¡¯ve dropped the little pair of shorts down onto the floor.


    But¡­ As they reclaim my hands I can¡¯t help but just¡­ stare down at my body. Burned and¡­ and gaunt and¡­ and a bit mangled in ways that just¡­ make me look like some ugly desert¡­ thing. Pale skin is kinda splotched, even in places without the burns, and¡­ and no longer has the luster Fae flesh tends to carry.


    Almost like when I was¡­


    ¡°Hey hey hey!¡± Awnya sees my spiral. Reaches out to take up my cheek, lifts my gaze up and into hers. ¡°You''re beautiful.¡±


    And her soul rings with the truth of her words.


    I wince, fight down a¡­ such a horrid lump of shame and guilt and¡­ How had I let myself change into this? How had I gotten so¡­ so¡­


    ¡°Hu¨C huma¨C¡±


    All I deserve.


    ¡°No.¡± Tretion interrupts and pulls my other hand up to kiss my burned knuckles. ¡°You¡¯re still very Fae.¡±


    Awnya¡¯s kinda¡­ sputtering out then. When I look back at her she looks caught between such¡­ somethings. Soul a mess of sudden worry and like¡­ anticipation and¡­ things?


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­ That¡­¡±


    ¡°Not now, love.¡± Tretion whispers. Soul steadfast and very focused. No worry, just¡­ um¡­ planning? Laying out steps.


    ¡°No no no. I wasn¡¯t! Just¡­ kinda hit me all at once.¡± Awnya takes a deep breath. ¡°Sorry Lyra, just¡­ some good conversations we¡¯ll get to have later.¡±


    If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    I look between them. See them share a glance. And a pit of¡­ of worry forms.


    All others will scorn or¨C


    ¡°But needless to say you are the most Fae girl we will ever meet.¡± Awnya turns to fix me with her most disarming smirk. One that sings of confidence and love and¡­ and complete wash of delight at who she¡¯s looking at.


    Which¡­ in this case is me. Their words and soul and eyes so easily washes away the thought of worry and doubt that had begun to form.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get you clean, beloved.¡± Tretion murmurs, and pulls me toward the bath. And I can¡¯t help but follow her down and into the tub. It¡¯s a perfect thing of warm waters and kinda fizzy not Amwella bubbles.


    Her soul ringing in soft adorations but¡­ also a careful creeping worry. A desire to be soft and gentle with me.


    Awnya follows, and neither has even touched their own clothes as they help settle me on a little stool or seat thing in the middle of the waters. And then my two lovers help me wash. Slowly, carefully, and so¡­ so not building up to the fuck I keep expecting them to pull me into.


    I want to just let my brain get lost in that. Mindless sex to ignore all the stress and anxiety and¡­ and thoughts I want to avoid right now. But I don¡¯t want them to stop this! This show of such gentle care I¡¯ve not seen since¡­ since¡­


    Since my mother found me in the forest and brought me home.


    That stops me short, sort of¡­ freezes me solid. The memory of her and her child hurt but¡­ but more than that the comparison jolts my mind and body into a stillness.


    That my lovers are showing me with an affection rooted in wanting to care for someone they adore and¡­ and want to help soothe and relax and cleanse me bodily of muck. Not¡­ not just¡­ Just use me for sex.


    Like¡­ Like everyone else. Raska and¡­ Even¡­ b¨C but... NO! Thendra didn¡¯t! I was¡­ was more than just a pillow slave! Even at the start¡­


    R¨C Right?


    ¡°Your body and songs are payment for what you stole. And your Amwella, if we can grow it.¡±


    The memory of her voice rings so clear through me. Makes me curl into such a knot of pain, hug my arms around myself so tight as talons dig into flesh hard enough to bleed. Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t get enough air, and soon my breath quickens to little pained wheezes.


    Awnya sort of yelps and reaches to loosen my grip when she notices the blood and sudden panic. Soul not¡­ she¡­ she¡¯s just worried but¡­ but not mad or disappointed or¡­


    ¡°Beloved, It¡¯s alright.¡± Tretion whisper so softly while helping our Fae pull at the opposite talon. ¡°You¡¯re safe. Focus on our Amwella. That¡¯s it. Just¡­ hold on tight.¡±


    I do¡­ and her soft caresses through my hair and along my back calm the rising of¡­ of whatever that was. Not a Waking Nightmare. But¡­ but I don¡¯t want to think about that. Just¡­ Lean into this wonderful watcher¡¯s touch.


    "We got you girl." Awnya murmurs gently. Adding herself so easily to the embrace. "We love you. It''s okay. It''s okay. You''re safe here."


    It''s takes a while, but... eventually I''ve calmed enough to whisper in one try, ¡°Srry.¡±


    Tretion nuzzles me, then says with not a hint of it being a lie. ¡°You don¡¯t need to apologize, but it¡¯s okay if it helps you.¡±


    I only huff a wordless reply, then pull back to continue letting them help wash the sand and blood and other eck off me. And sooner than I¡¯d like, we¡¯re all climbing out of the bath.


    ¡°How about I go figure out food?¡± Awnya suggests as she hums a little tune to call the water out from her clothing and hair, turns the melody to help whirl the same off us.


    Then, before I realize what I¡¯ve nodded along to amidst Tretion helping me redress in similar but new clothes, I¡­ I¡¯m alone with¡­ with¡­


    She¡¯s trembling before I can even gather the thought. Wrapping me in big cold arms and a mess of wriggling head tendrils. I just¡­ it''s all I can do to make a gurgling whimper of a sound as I return her embrace and cling to her.


    My watcher.


    My beloved.


    My Tretion.


    She¡­ she¡¯s alive and¡­ and holding me and¡­ and she¡¯s¡­  Soul sings a single overwhelming tune as it basks in the embrace of my arms and ocean of a soul.


    And then another thought hits me harder than any blow from a godthing.


    She still loves me.


    We¡¯re sobbing together before I can stop to consider more. Hard and loud and just¡­ just¡­ Beyond words or¡­ or anything so small.


    Over a decade of¡­ of hopeless sorrows spent just¡­ surviving without her. Just letting this Dream rip me apart with reckless abandon.


    Because I deserved it!


    I killed the woman I loved and who loved me in return!!! How¡­ how can¡­ how can I even hope to¡­ to even be¡­ but¡­ but she¡­ she¡­ She¡¯s ALIVE! And¡­ and Her soul sings a simple truth that just¡­ shatters my guilt into an eternity of scattered nonsense in this moment!!!


    She doesn¡¯t hate me.


    Doesn¡¯t blame me.


    And she won¡¯t let me go.


    Never again.


    That sends what was just¡­ quiet shared tears into a wobbling mess of absolute devastating weeping as I fight so hard to force out those three hardest words.


    ¡°I...¡±


    Too slow. Need to¡­ to make sure she¡­ she knows I¡­


    Legs are too weak to stand as I pour my everything into the effort, but my watcher holds me steady. Supports my weight as my everything fights to say the words.


    ¡°L¨C l- Luuv.¡±


    The word causes her to freeze, like¡­ like she¡¯s afraid any other movements will cause the words to vanish.


    ¡°Y¨C Yy¨C ou.¡±


    And amidst her own blubbering mess, she answers.


    ¡°Oh beloved! I¡­ I love you too! S¨CSo much!¡± She sobs into my hair. ¡°Th¨C Thank you for¡­ for coming back to me. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU!!!¡±


    And with that, It¡¯s like the little hopeless dregs of desire from before ignite at the words.


    At this unbridled joy my beloved weeps at having this stupid broken girl that is me back in her arms.


    *   *   *


    I sit outside the room, tray of food covered and ready for when Tretion and Lyra are finished. Leaning my head back against a wall I¡­ I can¡¯t stop the tears that fall.


    My watcher is¡­ is my everything! I don¡¯t just love her, I am IN love with her. Hopelessly and furiously enraptured by my Tretion.


    She¡¯s so smart, and cute, a bit bumbly and just¡­ a wonder of kindness despite a family that tried to drag her into becoming just as cruel as them.


    But¡­ She wasn¡¯t the first girl I fell INTO love with.


    I knew Tretion was devastated by the loss of her beloved. Understood that it would take years to even begin to feel right again. Because I¡­ It took ME years to quell my own hissing sadness to understand just how broken we both were at the loss of our Lyra.


    And when my own grief settled from a gurgling mess of fury into a simmering ache¡­ that¡¯s when I truly saw what losing her beloved did to my watcher.


    It was like seeing someone with half their soul just¡­ dead and gone. Their spirit, their purpose just shattered and all that''s left are the broken pieces.


    Because Tretion had cast aside old fears and habits and just¡­ rebuilt herself around loving Lyra. Around being the girl she always needed while also exploring her own desires and¡­ and ability to live free of the fear of her grandmother¡¯s wrath!


    Was able to spend a year alone with the Fae who saved her twice. Showering her with a much needed wash of boundless care and affections that her family never offered her.


    While all I was able to give the first girl I¡¯d fallen into love with was three weeks of silly Fae things before¡­ Before abandoning her.


    Over and over and over again.


    Was¡­ was barely a day too late to stop them from leaving to go to the Twilight Court. If¡­ If I¡¯d just¡­ just been faster or¡­ or better at the Riftwalking song I had to weave to get here¡­


    I could have saved her from this past decade of pain.


    If¡­ if I just swallowed my fear and tracked down Thendra at any time I would have found her! Been able to tell her that her beloved lives and is just¡­ waiting for her to come home.


    Or¡­ or even this whole Blighted situation in Theradas with its horrid godling!!! If I had just looked closer or¡­ or tried to talk to her as she attacked we would have been able to just run! Seal up the manor just like we¡¯d planned.


    But¡­ I didn¡¯t. I just¡­ just kept making mistakes that left her to suffer alone.


    Tretion is everything she needs, and¡­ and Lyra may be a bumble of horrific trauma but¡­ Will my watcher still need me now? Now that her beloved is returned to her? Such worry and pain settles on me then. Does Lyra? Will I just¡­ get it the way? Mess up more and¨C


    A flash, and my promise song to Tretion roils up to swallow my mind.


    ¡°Awnya, my beloved.¡± She hisses as her tendrils wrap around my cheeks and through my hair. ¡°You will not sacrifice yourself. Not even for her. You will come back to me.¡±


    ¡°I¨C¡±


    ¡°No! I will have a promise in song from you about this or I will not let you leave!¡± She¡¯s shaking now. ¡°If you don¡¯t I will burn that book to ashes. Right here. Right now.¡±


    I freeze, my own tears welling up as¡­ A piece of my soul, a part of that old scar that refused to heal mends at hearing that I¡¯m not¡­  That¡­ that she really never considered me a replacement for Lyra!?!


    That our love is unique and irreplaceable and eternally valuable to her¡­


    And so I weave the promise in song, sobbing the entire time before heading out to find our lover and bring her home.


    My tears are now a wash of joyful pain that absolutely drowns the spiral I¡¯d let myself fall into.


    She still needs me.


    Still wants me!


    Both of them love me SO much!!!


    I furiously wipe my eyes, then take up the tray of food while pushing myself to stand. Letting that promise song roll through me.


    And together we will sing and walk by each other''s side till this wonderful Dream¡¯s End.


    Never again will I let anyone rob us of that happiness.

 Chapter 89: Overture to a Terzetto

    <u>CW:</u>


    Snuggles. and trauma talk and people eat things. Illegal cliffhangers because I love you all SOOO much.


    Awnya finds us in a tangled mess somewhere between the bathroom and the bedroom. Just¡­ cuddled so close and murmuring little words and sounds of joy as we¡¯ve had to stop and just sit together on the floor when one of us dissolved into a puddle.


    And before she can even set the tray of food she¡¯s brought I¡¯m reaching out to pull her into the muddle. Trying to¡­ to¡­


    ¡°I. L¨C love. Ye¨C ou.¡± I force through the hug as my soul tails and jellyfish snuggle close.


    ¡°Love you too, girl.¡± She whispers back, and I can feel how my words and embrace crack something inside her. Some¡­ some final barrier I think she erected to protect her heart.


    Just in case I could hate her for keeping me safe.


    Which¡­ I¡¯m a monster who just killed Furthonois. I don¡¯t need keeping safe.


    R¨C right?


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits. You¡¯re probably starving.¡± She murmurs, wiping at her fresh tears and dragging the tray around. ¡°So¡­¡±


    Then with a flourish she whips off the lid to reveal a pile of random nonsense shapes and colors and a trio of mugs of glistening clear liquid.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits it¡¯s weird to taste things again. But¡­ to my relief and delight it seems just¡­ just like normal food from outside the manor! Or¡­ well at least I can¡¯t tell the difference as I shove the sweet and salty wonders into my mouth and guzzle down the cool water.


    As we eat they just¡­ begin to tell me all the things they¡¯ve done over the past years. How the manor is filled to bursting with thousands of freed souls, and all the wonderful new rooms they¡¯ve worked together to weave.


    If the food wasn¡¯t so wonderful I might have caught more but¡­ honestly, there are so many words and names and like¡­ number things I can¡¯t help but just¡­ let my¡­


    My¡­


    I pause mid bite as I consider that. Froze by the warm thoughts that bubble through me.


    What¡­ What are they to me now?


    Are they still... still my lovers?


    I look up between them how¡­ how Awnya so easily smirks and smiles amidst Tretion¡¯s talk of serious things, and our watcher¡¯s easy calm at explaining a few dozen complex concepts with her. Something¡­ a lot of things about keeping food, water and supplies in the manor stable. Also like¡­ crafting magic things she¡¯s been working on. And a whole host of other nonsense I can tell is important but just¡­ I don''t understand.


    But¡­ huh. I almost feel bad about that but Awnya seems just as lost at times. Needs to ask clarifying questions and seems really happy when Tretion needs to bumble down a tangent to help her get it.


    And their souls sing such a wonderful harmony between them. A happy like¡­ bobbing melody of calm and delight in just¡­ each other. And¡­ and even me.


    Especially me. This is normal for them and they just¡­ but it¡¯s like half their focus is always on me and a little worried and trying to make sure I¡¯m¨C


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Tretion murmurs and lays a hand on my leg.


    ¡°Hmm?¡± I turn to look up at her.


    ¡°Are you alright?¡± Her gaze dances between the food that I hold paused just outside my lips and my eyes.


    With a blush I quickly shove the morsel of tasty somethings into my mouth and nod furiously. Then bring her hand up to my lips for a quick kiss. A hopeful assurance that I¡¯m okay.


    The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    Such a wonderful smile blossoms on her face and I¡­ I just¡­


    Before I know what I¡¯m doing my free talon is reaching out to touch her face, letting her tendrils reach forward and tangle around its wrist as her eyes flutter nearly shut in such rapture at my touch.


    Awnya chuckles, and the sound causes me to turn to fix my eyes on hers.


    Just¡­ stare. Ask her the question I don¡¯t have the words for.


    She smirks, but¡­ her eyes and soul sing with desire and hunger and¡­ and more than all that!


    But also a soft wariness.


    ¡°We¡­¡± Our watcher murmurs, giving voice to both their worries, and from the corner of my eye I can see her eyes flit over to Awnya¡¯s. ¡°We don¡¯t need to rush into anything Lyra.¡±


    ¡°Pl¨C¡±


    But she trails off as I try to¡­ to force out¡­


    ¡°Pl¨C Plese?¡± Is the best I can manage, turning back to Tretion. ¡°If¡­ if¡­¡±


    She sort of¡­ freezes up as I glance between them and trail off.


    Awnya reaches out to lay a hand on my leg. ¡°You sure? She¡¯s right. We have all the time we need.¡±


    ¡°I¨C¡±


    Stupid tongue.


    ¡°If¨C y¨C you¨C S¨Ctill.¡± I growl and huff. Looking between them for help.


    Awnya smirks. Tretion reaches out to gently touch my cheek, a request to turn back to look at her.


    ¡°Of course we will delight in making love to you Lyra.¡± She murmurs as her eyes seem to search my face. ¡°But¡­ We also don¡¯t want you to feel like this is something you owe anyone. This body is yours to enjoy or keep in ways that please you.¡±


    I huff, shake my head, then in a flash of inspiration I take up her hand and kiss her wrist. Then give it a soft nibble.


    And I see the memories that sparks in those gorgeous crimson eyes.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not sure what I can offer after sunrise.¡± I hum, then tilt my gaze to find her smokey crimson eyes fixed on mine. ¡°But¡­ you can take anything of me that you want before then.¡±


    Her soul melts a bit. Both in more of the passionate desire, but¡­ also in sadness. Then¡­ the other hand wanders up to take my face.


    ¡°I¡¯ll take anything you wish to give me.¡± She leans down and murmurs, tendrils curl around me tighter. ¡°And offer you everything in return.¡±


    She tries so hard to stop the blush and smile that teases at her lips. ¡°Lyra¡­ I¡­ Are you certain?¡±


    I crawl forward and pull myself up and wait just a whisper from her face as I clutch her hand close. Nuzzle the palm and press the fingers close while keeping my eyes locked on hers.


    ¡°Pl¨C plese.¡± I whisper.


    My watcher carefully, oh so gently, reaches up to take my face in hers as a tremble rolls through her. One that screams of such repressed urges and desires tempered with worry and care.


    ¡°You will tell me the moment I bump into a scar, okay?¡± She growls so softly. ¡°The second something hurts. Outside or inside. Even a brush of pain and we pause. Thought or memory or flesh.¡±


    I just¡­ stare back. A little confusion obviously showing on my face. Why would we stop just because something hurts?


    She leans her forehead into mine, letting her head tendrils weave such happy patterns through my short hair. ¡°Lyra, my beloved, I didn¡¯t realize before just how willing you are to endure agony for those you love. And I will not take advantage of that. I refuse to ignore your past scars.¡±


    ¡°Wuh?¡± Is all I can mumble. Both hands moving up to cup her face, weave gentle assuring caresses as I so obviously try to piece together what she¡¯s talking about.


    Sex is like¡­ one of the easiest things to do with those I want to be with¡­ Why is she suddenly so careful now? Did¡­ did I do something wrong?


    ¡°May I um¡­ Try to whittle that down for her?¡± Awnya whispers softly.


    Tretion chuckles. ¡°Please do.¡±


    Then my watcher adjusts so I can turn to see Awnya picking up a morsel of fruit to nibble at while she considers her next words.


    I end up settling back into our watcher¡¯s lap and pulling her arms about me. As we huggle her soul into my Naranggas I can just¡­ feel and enjoy how much she delights in that and can¡¯t help but nuzzle deeper into her embrace.


    ¡°So¡­ this¡­ um¡­ Okay so I¡¯m going to try and avoid being too specific about this.¡± Awnya starts. ¡°These kinds of¡­ moments are times where we¡¯d like you to be more able to communicate what you''re feeling or needing. Not the sex, but like¡­ talking. We don¡¯t want to assume too many things about what¡¯s happened over these past years.¡±


    I look down. Flashes of¡­ of all the¡­ the pain and-


    ¡°See?¡± She murmurs. ¡°Right there. You had a thought, probably some bad memories. And they hurt you, didn¡¯t they?¡±


    I nod.


    ¡°That¡¯s what we¡¯d like to avoid when we take you to bed with us.¡± Tretion adds and squeezes me tighter. ¡°Why we¡¯d like to help you communicate better. Because Lyra¡­¡±


    And then my watcher is turning me to face her, such a serious expression to match her soul¡¯s adoration and focus on these next words.


    ¡°Your pain matters.¡±


    I freeze. Feel my eyes widen in a weird mix of confusion and fear.


    ¡°Yeah and like¡­ not in that nonsense about needing pain to useful.¡± Awnya adds. ¡°All of it matters. Every scrap. Because it tells us when something is hurting, and should be a signal to stop whatever is causing the pain and try to figure it out if we can. But¡­¡±


    Tretion lets me twist back into a relaxed seat as Awnya passes to think again. ¡°But¡­ It¡¯s like we were saying before. Some really horrid people often use this as a way to control others. Sort of¡­ setting up people to get in hurt places they wouldn¡¯t otherwise. Trick them into thinking that it¡¯s normal and natural and pushing them to develop their responses to it.¡±


    I blink at her. Trying to¡­ to find a way to say she¡¯s wrong. That¡­ that using pain to¡­ to mold me was good and¡­ and¡­ But¡­ That¡¯s exactly what Thendra did. What she told me she would do.


    After she took me back and held me and fucked me bloody she¡­ she told me she¡¯d never love me and¡­


    I shake my head. Trying to push away this line of thought.


    No I¡­ she¡­ but¡­ I asked her to! She gave me what I wanted!


    Right?


    Because I¡­ I deserved it. Because I¡­ I killed my Tretion and¡­ and¡­


    I squeeze my eyes shut as my breathing goes a bit stiff and quick. The memories I used to hold close and cherish and beg her to recreate bringing such a horrid sour bile taste to my lips as I sit here in my Watcher''s arms. Jellyfish move to snuggle close and radiate as much calming warmth as they can.


    Stop. I scream into my own wretched mind. Stop ruining this! Stop stop stop stop sTOP STOP STOP STOP!!!


    ¡°Hey¡­ hey¡­¡± Then Awnya is in front of us, touching my legs and cooing soft murmurs of love and support. ¡°It¡¯s okay. You¡¯re alright. We¡¯re going to help you. Give you all the love and care and time you need to heal.¡±


    I reach out to find one of her hands, pull it close. I pull Awnya¡¯s and Tretion¡¯s fingers up to my lips. Kiss and nibble at these two wonderful lovers who¡­ who¡­


    Who love me more than they want to fuck me. Who hate the idea of even little snippets of pain marring our embraces.


    ¡°And sex can be a wonderful way to do that.¡± Tretion murmurs as she pushes lips and wonderful tendrils into my hair. ¡°So, if you still want to try that today, we can. But if¡­ if something starts making it hurt you¡¯ll ask us to stop. Okay?¡±


    I continue to nibble for a bit. Nuzzling them both close as I still the old wretched memories and just¡­ focus on¡­ What do I want?


    The answer is obvious and sends such a shiver of anticipation through me.


    ¡°Oke.¡± I¡¯m able to just barely whisper.


    Then while still holding both her and Awnya¡¯s hands I twist and tilt up to gaze into my watcher¡¯s face.


    ¡°Okay.¡± She murmurs.


    And then I raise up to gently place my lips a whisper from hers, and after a pause she leans down into the kiss.

 Chapter 90: Without Even a Hint of That Old Curse’s Sting (18+)

    <u>CW:</u>


    SEX. BEEG sex. With three gay people.


    Cold.


    Wonderfully cool lips that act as a blazing star against my thrumming heat of worry and fear and more than anything¡­ desire.


    Such a yearning to feel her glacial soul and body up against mine.


    Other than a ripple of movement that seems to pulse through the tendrils that continue to wiggle about through my hair she pauses, and from her soul I feel a wash of such restrained furious hunger to just¡­ just¡­ go faster. Pull closer and bury me in her affections.


    I can¡¯t help the little purring sound that rolls through my chest and throat as I release the hands I hold and reach up to cup her wonderful soft chin and cheeks. Pulling myself closer as my watcher slowly allows our kiss to intensify in speed and depth.


    Then our tongues touch and¡­ and the sweetness of the meal I had is nothing compared to the flavors I find there. My clumsy stupid lump of mouth flesh is teased and caressed and just¡­ danced with by her steady obviously practiced workings.


    How long we just¡­ kissed will forever be a mystery, but eventually a subtle shifting in another¡¯s soul catches my attention.


    Love and desire but¡­ but also a little worry. A pinch of¡­ impatience? Wh¨C


    I slow and break the kiss with our watcher, and turn to find a crooked smile on our Fae¡¯s lips as she just¡­ waits. Amwella thrumming with adoration and desire but¡­ also a bubbling of worry.


    That¡­ that maybe she¡¯s not needed or wanted.


    I reach out and¡­ and let a hand hover just a whisper from her cheek. Hope to the Blighted Dreamer that she can see the question in the gesture and my gaze.


    Her smirk softens, becomes something more reflective of her soul, and then she leans into the touch.


    Warm.


    So perfectly thrumming with a melody of her soul¡¯s songs. Furiously devoted to imbibing those around her with confidence and happiness and better things still.


    The first girl I let myself really fall into love with who loved me in return.


    Just like that first time I¡¯m not sure which of us pulls the other into the other, and then my hands are in her bright wonderfully soft hair as she crushes her lips to mine.


    But unlike our watcher, her soul roars with affections she has no intention of restraining.


    Awnya¡¯s wrapping arms around me and dragging us deeper and deeper into this kiss. Already parting my lips and finding my tongue and digging soft fingers into my back. Soul a furious cascade of desire she refuses to hold back.


    And without drawing away from this perfect thing, I¡¯m enveloping their souls even more completely in my sea and pulling at Tretion¡¯s soul, sending a simple but very clear message.


    I hear her laugh at the sensation as she crawls up behind me, one hand joining mine in Awnya¡¯s hair while the other curls around my chest. Lips pressing into my neck as she murmurs so softly. ¡°Welcome home, beloved.¡±


    H- home? I... I''m... I''m home?


    What was a tumble into this long and aggressive kiss kinda¡­ sputters. Leads me to pause and take a few breaths.


    A flash of worry sparks from both of their souls.


    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.


    ¡°Th¨C thank y¨C you.¡± I whisper and furiously ignore the moisture bubbling in my eyes.


    And then, before our watcher can consider more if somehow her wondrous love has hurt me, I turn to draw her into a kiss. One where I nibble at her soft lips and dance my new and clumsy tongue with hers.


    I expect a giggle or¡­ or flash of mirth, but all that happens is her soul thrums with cold focus as it relaxes some of the caution it had gathered about itself. Her tendrils wriggle faster and dig their little pointed ends just a little harder. Not nearly enough to hurt me, just¡­ a focused desire to pull us closer.


    Awnya murmurs hungry delighted nothings at the sudden offering of the other side of my neck to her, and the hand Tretion grips my chest with moves to slide under my borrowed shirt before beginning to dance gentle raking patterns up my chest. Dancing soft circles up from belly to collarbone, teasing and always hinting at the breasts I hunger for her to touch and hold and bite and tear and¨C


    I freeze.


    A flash echoes from within both their souls and they pause. Would move to pull back if I didn¡¯t hold them so close as a sudden worry trickled into the Amwella.


    ¡°Ww¡ª wait.¡± I whisper into my watcher¡¯s lips, squeezing my eyes shut as¡­ as I consider that last thought.


    Half a dozen heartbeats pass.


    But¡­ but no. I¡¯m okay. Just¡­ simple hornii brain things. Desires for rougher sex that I always heal easily from.


    ¡°Oke.¡± I murmur before either can question the pause.


    It takes a few moments to free them from that worry. Have to just¡­ slow my workings and let out soft purring sounds as we continue to kiss and snuggle. Tretion works harder to soften her tendrils'' wriggles and Awnya tries to slow her own hunger but¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits am I just¡­ not interested in feeling them restrain their desires because they worry they might hurt me!


    But¡­ how¡­ how could I even begin to¡­


    I let out a¡­ a frustrated huff followed by a little rumbling growl about half-way through a kiss that sings of our Fae becoming more and more lost in her own desires and slightly more aggressive workings.


    ¡°L¨CLyra?¡± Our watcher murmurs.


    ¡°N¨C not frrrr¡­¡± I try to murmur into Awnya¡¯s lips. Fingers still dancing through her hair and Tretion¡¯s tendrils.


    Awnya giggles, a hand joining Tretion¡¯s at my breast. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡±


    ¡°Hrrdrr¡­ Mmro¡­¡± I try again, but quickly stop as I realize just how stupid it is to try such longer words while immersed in a kiss.


    Tretion calms, and seems to¡­ to consider my possible meanings. ¡°Perhaps the bed would be a better place to continue?¡±


    Awnya chuckles. ¡°Yeah¡­ probably.¡±


    ¡°Oke.¡± I¡¯m able to murmur as we all try to untangle from the heap of limps and lovers.


    As I crawl onto the bed my two lovers unwrap their layers of cloth down to bare skin. Then, just as they¡¯re moving onto the silken sheets, Tretion turns to pull Awnya into a deep and passionate kiss.


    I¡­ I just sit and stare wide eyed to just take them in.


    These two wondrous souls that are just¡­ happy and perfect within this moment.


    It¡¯s not until they pull apart and murmur soft affections and thanks that both seem to notice me again. But¡­ even that¡¯s wrong. While they shared that kiss and gave themselves completely to each other at that moment, they still radiated love for this stupid girl sitting a few feet away.


    And when they do turn to regard me a thrum from their Amwella courses through endless tendrils into my core. Causing me to shiver under the weight of that¡­


    That love.


    ¡°Dr¨C Dre¨CDreamrrss¡± I grumble out, eventually squeeze my eyes shut and just force out. ¡°Tits!¡±


    A pause, and then they are both moving across the bed as their souls are consumed with delight and mirth at my curse. Giggling and even snorting a bit as we all can¡¯t help but share this silly moment together. But¡­ Even that is transformed into soft sounds of delight as our watcher sweeps me into such a deep kiss. One that thrums in harmony to her soul¡¯s song, and next thing I know I¡¯m on my back and she is everything I know.


    And while I lose myself to her another¡¯s lips trailing up my arm, nibbling at shoulder and neck and weaving such wonderful patterns down my sides. And everywhere else are their fingers and head tendrils and¡­ and¡­


    And my ocean of a soul envelopes all. Huggling these two blazing souls close while Jellyfish wiggle about. Titter and coo along with such a symphony that ripples out from my Amwella.


    My wonderous new soul conducting a song for us to dance to.


    One that blazes without even the hint of that old curse¡¯s sting.


    My fingers play through our watchers'' wonderful tendrils, and as she moves to graze a line of kisses down my neck and collarbone, our Fae moves up. Nibbles at Tretion¡¯s neck and ear and tendrils before drawing me into her own long and deep kiss. Then, finally, mouth and tongue and teeth and tendril find my breasts. Designing such delights across flesh that cause me to twist and writhe like only my Dar¨C


    But¡­ the song soothes the thought. Drives even the memory of almost comparing these two wonderful lovers to¡­ to her. Seems to pull Tretion into nibbling at just the right angle and spot and moment to drown me in my beloved¡¯s affections instead of old memories. Helps Awnya know to press deeper into our kiss as I hesitate instead of pulling back.


    Moving us like¡­ like the waves of a sea. A pushing and pulling of desire and indulgence, affections woven into the tapestry of soulfire.


    A dancing of twinned fingers at my thighs, weaving patterns in tune with our song. I¡­ I¡¯m not sure which is whos, because they¡¯re just¡­ so perfectly moving in sync with each other! Trading between kissing me and each other and our necks and breasts and and and¡­


    But¡­ I do know that at some point they each take one of my hands and entwine our fingers. Lips and fingers and tendrils kissing and raking and loving every inch of the body I wear. And I can¡¯t stop the moan of delight that chimes with the song, or the buck of my hips as their touch finally finds my second lips. Beginning to dance and weave such perfect patterns between my legs in tune with the song that wraps us all so tightly together.


    They¡¯re so gentle but¡­ like¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits both just¡­ their fingers know where to graze and when to rake and¨C


    Another moan, and I can¡¯t stop the trembling delighted wriggles I fall into as one of them perfectly twists to move fingers up from lips to clit. From there It doesn¡¯t take long for that first perfect climax to engulf me, arching my back and forcing such a sound from my lips as one of them¡­ Awnya I think? Leans down to wrap my trembling lips in hers. Guides and centers all thoughts around it as the big soul song softens.


    And then my Amwella pulls both theirs down and snuggled into my core.


    A spike of such pleasure, and burst of song and soulfire jolts us as their cores mingle with mine. Melt close and¡­ and slurp up such wondrous little gobbles of my Amwella as our bodies tremble with delight.


    I get to feel so perfectly how much they both enjoy this dance of souls as they get to endure my own thrumming euphoria.


    The song doesn¡¯t stop. Just¡­ slows and softens. Harmonizes so well with the wash of¡­ What is this? I mean¡­ sure I¡¯m tired. Probably exhausted. But¡­ I¡¯m not like¡­ sure what this is?


    My lovers curl close. Murmur such soft and loving nothing words as we melt into a little pile of huggles. I want so desperately to¡­ like¡­ give them what they just gave me! But their souls sing of nothing but happy contentment as they gently pull from my core. Delighted to just have like¡­ done all that with me! And¡­ like¡­ Amwella dances feel really good so¡­


    I don¡¯t move except to pull them close. Try to whisper my own soft wordless love and thanks to them as we all just¡­ enjoy the afterglow and the love-woven song all about us.

 Chapter 91: Everflames Oaths

    <u>CW:</u>


    Discussion of song magic being used to take advantage and coerce people into Amwella dances. Talk of burns and wounds and trauma.


    ¡°Sorry to call you away, Awnya.¡± Lenelope murmurs as I quietly shut the door behind me.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine, they¡¯re both fast asleep.¡± I step forward and pull her into a soft hug. Just¡­ still so full to bursting with joy. ¡°What do you need?¡±


    She returns the embrace, then as we pull back a little murmurs. ¡°It¡¯s that flame lady, Duchess Raska? I think is her name, she wanted to speak with you.¡±


    I nod. ¡°Right, yeah. Tretion mentioned she wanted me to take her home after Lyra woke up.¡±


    We move down the hallway, her arm in mine. ¡°She didn¡¯t mention why, just that she wanted to talk with you.¡±


    We find the Everflame in one of the new gardens. The room is¡­ about the size of a couple small manors and so thick with forest things that you¡¯d be within rights to think you¡¯d stepped out into a Rift.


    It¡¯s pretty quiet, and soon we¡¯re at the edge of a little pool lake thing. Approaching the Duchess as she sits on a bench that overlooks the waters. I pip-pat Nelops arm, a silent assurance that she can leave me to talk with the girl alone.


    Then I just¡­ step up and plop down on the seat beside her. Let out such a satisfied huff.


    Her bright cerulean eyes flicker over to regard me. Drift up and down my form. I¡¯d only redressed in simple shorts and actually just tossed on the big shirt we¡¯d peeled off Lyra. Hair is also probably still such a mess.


    A long pause passes between us.


    ¡°How is she?¡± Raska finally asks.


    I smirk at her. ¡°All things considered? Good, actually. Still¡­ Well¡­ she won¡¯t heal in a day but we at least got her talking and resting.¡±


    That cracks any emotional barriers the Everflame might have had placed, makes her very nearly slump in relief and sadness and even a hint of anger. ¡°Dreadweave¡¯s Cunt that¡­ fuck. That¡¯s¡­ I¡­ I was worried that she wouldn¡¯t¨C¡±


    She kinda sputters out after that. Brings hands up to her face to push back her hair and rub over the flesh a few times. I¡¯m not sure Everflames can cry but if she could I suspect Raska here would be weeping at that. ¡°Thank you for¡­ for telling me. I know I didn¡¯t deserve to even ask but¡­ thank you.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t mention it.¡± Then I let a long few moments pass as the Duchess seems to recover some of her composure before saying. ¡°Tretion gave me the short of things. About what happened.¡±


    She stiffens as that little flame bristles a bit.


    I let out such a sigh. ¡°So¡­ I gotta ask. Before I ferry you back to your Rift, why the hatred for my kind? The Fae? Like¡­ I¡¯ve avoided them for nearly a decade for how they treated Lyra but¡­ That¡¯s really specific.¡±


    She grinds her teeth, flame whirrs a bit. But¡­ It''s little angry song isn¡¯t about me. Or threatening to flare out in my direction. So I wait and let her work out what words she wants to share with me.


    ¡°The Fae have taken advantage of people I love.¡± She finally growls. ¡°Refuse to share their magic and¡­ and have lured others into giving them Amwella dances and such with enchanting songs they later regret listening to.¡±


    I wince. I¡¯d not like¡­ Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits she¡¯s talking about the Caravan of Dream Walkers. Or a group much like them¡­


    Leaning forward, I let out a huff and nod. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits Raska, I¡¯m so sorry.¡±


    She kinda flinches at that, like she was expecting something other than an apology. ¡°You¡­ what? Why?¡±


    ¡°My Old Goat, my dad, we jumped the Rifts to clear Blight and such. Tried to avoid the locals as much as possible. Didn¡¯t want to like¡­ meddle in their affairs unless something really bad and quietly solvable popped up.¡± I interlace fingers as I stare at the ground. ¡°But others¡­ A pretty small group honestly, they see the Rifts as a sort of¡­ playground. And¡­ yeah I can see them doing exactly that. And I am so so sorry for what they did or might have done.¡±


    ¡°Fucking apologies don¡¯t excuse it.¡± She kinda growls.


    ¡°No. No it doesn¡¯t. But¡­¡± I shrug. ¡°You¡¯re about to have me take you home, and I¡¯d like you to feel at least a little safer. Know that if I stumble onto Fae who does that I¡¯ll have more than harsh words for them.¡±


    Again, she seems so surprised at that. ¡°Why? I¡­ Fucking Ukalon¡¯s tits. What does that even matter? Especially after¡­ after what you know I did to Lyra?¡±


    It¡¯s my turn to growl. End up giving her such a side glare. ¡°Raska. Personally, I¡¯m still deciding how much energy I want to spend being angry at you. But honestly¡­ and Tretion didn¡¯t tell me much, I¡¯m guessing a certain big cunt might have set both you and Lyra up for what happened.¡±


    If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    Raska pauses, flame seems to wriggle about in contemplation with her.


    ¡°I¡­ yeah. Tretion thought the same. But¡­ that¡¯s just¡­ I¡¯m not taking that excuse. Even if it¡¯s true.¡±


    I let my glare fade. ¡°Good. You shouldn¡¯t. But I am just so sick of people thinking that Thendra is just some brute of a bitch. She¡¯s scary smart, and has even manipulated some of my elders into doing really stupid things.¡±


    That makes her quirk an eyebrow. ¡°Really? I¡­ We could never get the full story for Lyra but¡­ what the fuck made her want to stay with that Reaver? Why... why did the Fae drive her off?¡±


    I sigh. ¡°She was abandoned and alone and Thendra kinda just¡­ swooped her up. Got her to weave a nasty curse that hurts her if she sings without her commands and spent a good amount of energy on breaking her. Not like, into a mindless obedient slave but¡­ really emotionally dependent. Was smart enough to see that curse would weaken and worked to make her feel like she would be the only place Lyra could be safe and wanted.¡±


    Raska¡¯s brow furrows. ¡°She seems to adore the two of you, why would she stay instead of coming here?¡±


    I can¡¯t help but sigh. ¡°Let me¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits let me just start from the beginning. Give you everything from my point of view.¡±


    And so I tell this Everflame the tale of how I met Lyra, and end up just¡­ spending the next few hours telling her the story of how I lost and found her again. Careful to like¡­ avoid humming or weaving any songs into it. Understanding just how such a thing might be uncomfortable for her.


    By the end I¡¯m crying, and Raska is just¡­ staring out over the waters. I¡¯d avoided anything too sensitive. Like what Yuna told me, and some of the worse things Lyra suffered that she¡¯d all but confirmed when Tretion had mentioned it. But... it''s pretty obvious if you know what kind of monster Thendra is.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± She finally murmurs. ¡°For¡­ for trusting me with that. I¡¯d like to return the favor someday¡­ if you¡¯ll let me. Introduce you to like¡­ my girls. Tell you some of my history.¡±


    I wipe my eyes. ¡°Honestly, I won¡¯t be leaving the manor for a good long while. Especially now that we¡¯ve gotten the gardens flourishing. You may be the last person to get Riftwalked in and out for a few decades.¡±


    A long pause passes, and¡­ honestly as much as I want to go back to bed¡­ I¡¯m not in a rush. Lyra¡¯s back and¡­ and she¡¯s with Tretion. I can just bask a little in knowing that.


    ¡°Can¡­ Awnya, I¡¯d like to offer a trade.¡±


    ¡°Eh? Of what?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d like to bring my girls here, and¡­ and live in this manor with them.¡±


    My eyebrows would hit the treetops if they could. ¡°What? Raska, that¡­ You¡¯re a Duchess of the Everflames. And even if you weren''t, I''m pretty sure Tretion and Lyra will not be okay with it.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not asking for something for nothing. I¡¯m willing to offer up more Oaths. To you, Tretion, or Lyra. Almost anything. An Everflame to help guard and gift other magics and knowledge when I can.¡±


    I just¡­ stare at her. ¡°Why? You seemed to be doing pretty well for yourself out in the Rifts. And¡­ I¡¯m not ferrying your household here. You¡¯d have to give up a lot.¡±


    Her little flame and eyes thrum with focus. ¡°All that matters to me is that my girls are safe, Awnya. Everything I am was forged for that goal. And securing a spot here for them is the surest way to do that. I¡­ Well I wouldn¡¯t give up my flame for it, but I would die fighting with it for them. And if you¡¯ll keep them safe here? I¡¯ll die for you all too.¡±


    I just kinda¡­ stare at her for a bit. ¡°Alright. No promises but¡­ I¡¯ll talk with Tretion.¡±


    The Everflame nods. ¡°Thank you. If she seems hesitant just¡­ let her know that I mean what I said. I¡¯ll swear almost anything to get them here and safe as soon as possible. I think she''ll understand the weight if that. My Rift is not a kind place and¡­ and I worry that things are about to get worse.¡±


    ¡°Oh?¡± I quirk an eyebrow. ¡°Any reason we should worry about?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, actually.¡± She murmurs, looking back to meet my gaze. ¡°A Godthing just died, Awnya. And even if I felt safe on my Rift, the girl that killed them literally visited my manor in the hours after the slaughter.¡±


    Oh. Dreamer¡¯s Tits that¡­ I do not want to think about the implications of that. OR how the Fae would react to finding out that not only is Lyra alive, but that she killed and mantled that thing''s power after a decade of drinking soulfire.


    ¡°Good point. How many people would we be picking up?¡± I ask, standing.


    ¡°Seven. And if we have the time I have some personal effects to grab. But honestly¡­ Those girls are the most important. They¡¯re all in one place and I¡¯ll leave the rest behind if I need to.¡±


    ¡°Can you do full Riftwalks?¡± I ask.


    She shakes her head. ¡°Just Shifts. I can leap across a Rift If I know where I¡¯m going but¡­ I¡¯ve not worked out the incantations for going between them yet.¡±


    I nod. Not sensing a lie in her. ¡°Alright. Go wait by the gateway while I talk with Tretion.¡±


    *    *    *


    When I get back into our chambers, I find my lovers already awake. Not like¡­ up and about. Just¡­ snuggling close. Tendrils nuzzling Lyra¡¯s face and hair while her own fingers drift over Tretion''s face. Our watcher¡¯s own hands dance up and down Lyra¡¯s arms. Elbow up to talons and back down.


    ¡°Huh. Well Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± I huff with a smile. ¡°You two are really cute right now and I hate to break that up.¡±


    They drag themselves up to sit, and Lyra holds out a hand toward me. I scoot closer but remain free of the cuddle they¡¯re in. But¡­ of course I love the feeling of a collection of her soul tails and a little wiggly children curling close around my Amwella.


    ¡°Actually eh¡­ Kinda need to talk with Tretion about a thing. But¡­ honestly I¡¯m thinking we¡¯ll need you to be okay with this too, Lyra.¡±


    While Lyra tilts her head in confusion, Tretion¡¯s tendrils begin to whirl in annoyance while also curling tighter around her beloved.


    ¡°Can this not wait?¡± Tretion asks, and while she¡¯s annoyed I sense none at me or my judgment. Just¡­ an honest question. An attempt to understand why I came to them about something involving the Everflame instead of just Riftwalking her home.


    ¡°I wish but¡­ she made an offer and had some good points as to why we might want to move quickly on this.¡±


    Tretion¡¯s eyebrows raise at that.


    ¡°S¨C She.¡± Lyra murmurs. Looks down. Her face is a thing of such twisting guilt ridden pain. ¡°R¨C  Rr¨C Raska?¡±


    I avoid wincing as I lean forward. ¡°Yeah, she helped me save you, actually.¡±


    That makes her jerk up, meet my gaze. ¡°W¨C Why? Shee H¨C H¨C ets me.¡±


    ¡°No, Lyra she... she really doesn''t. She¡­ Um¡­ told us what happened and seems to really regret it." I shake my head. "Not saying you should forgive her. We certainly don¡¯t, but¡­ um¡­¡± Then I turn to Tretion, get to watch as she just¡­ already guesses as to what I mean to ask.


    ¡°Yeah, she¡¯s asking for sanctuary here. For seven girls she knows and herself.¡±


    Our watcher looks past me. Tendrils wriggle with such¡­ considerations. Honestly her not turning this down out of hand surprises me. Especially with Lyra right here next to her. But¡­


    ¡°Lyra¡­¡± Tretion murmurs. ¡°Do you think this is a wise decision? She claimed you¡¯d been getting close to her before things¡­ happened.¡±


    Lyra looks down and doesn¡¯t even try to form words for a long time. And Dreamer¡¯s Tits are we okay to wait. Both end up holding her close as tears begin to fall from her eyes. But¡­ we don¡¯t rush her. Just let her soul wrap tighter and little Amwella fish things nuzzle close.


    ¡°Why.¡± She finally whispers. Clear and crisply.


    ¡°She¡¯s worried these friends of hers aren''t safe, and¡­ ugh and I really don¡¯t want you to let this influence your decision but¡­ it''s important. She¡¯s worried you visiting her will bring unwelcome attention. Put herself and them in danger.¡±


    Lyra lets out such a deep breath, then just¡­ nods. ¡°Oke.¡±


    Tretion leans over to catch her gaze. ¡°Are you certain?¡±


    She doesn''t mean to touch am arm with the scars but¡­ fingers and tendrils brush them. Causing Lyra to wince and reach over to very nearly dig a talon into the burned flesh.


    ¡°R¨C Raska is¡­¡± Lyra starts. Shakes her head. Starts over. ¡°M¨C My fault anewey.¡±


    We both, in sync, voice our disagreement. Me with a ¡®Dreamer¡¯s Tits, no it is not¡¯ and Tretion with a simple ¡®No. That is not true.¡¯


    She huffs, obviously not believing us. ¡°S¨C she good. Ish. B¨C But¡­¡± Then her eyes dart to me. ¡°H¨C hetes Fae. N¨Co want hrt you.¡±


    I smirk. ¡°Gathered that, and she knows that I¡¯m Fae. We¡¯ve worked that out and um¡­ yeah how she treated you kinda seems to have made her reconsider that stance a bit.¡±


    She thinks on that for a bit.


    ¡°Raska was also willing to give us more than a few Oaths.¡± I add then, turning to Tretion. ¡°And she insisted I iterate on just how much she was willing to offer. She wants to keep people she loves safe, and from what I understand if she breaks the Oaths she loses like¡­ half that flame she carries. Each time.¡±


    Tretion nods, and I get to watch as the side of her lip twitches. ¡°As much as I find the girl distasteful¡­ She¡¯d make a nice guardian. And¡­¡± Then she turns back to Lyra. ¡°The manor is very very large now. We can almost ensure you never have to speak with her. Or those she brings.¡±


    Lyra nods. ¡°Oke. T¨Ctell sorry. F¨Crrr me.¡±


    I sigh and hug her tight. Refuting her with just¡­ what I know my soul is pulsing with. She didn¡¯t do anything wrong with that Everflame. Her mistake and cruelty are not Lyra¡¯s fault.


    Lyra huffs and leans into me, murmurs so softy and without trouble I almost miss the words. ¡°She just¡­ protect lovers from monster.¡±

 Chapter 92: Rapturously Worthy

    <u>CW:</u>


    Talk of death, self-harm, sad brain bubbles, snuggling jellyfish, mupples and the fast encroaching end of Arc 2.


    This little garden even has things like¡­ fish and stuff. Birds chirping and singing and¡­ and their songs are nothing but happy calls to their lovers!


    My eyes and soul search the shadows for threats¡­


    Wind blows. Dreamer¡¯s Tits how is that even possible? There isn¡¯t like¡­ well I don¡¯t really know what song makes the wind blow in the Rifts, but we¡¯re inside a big room! How is there a breeze? It feels so perfect and cool and wipples at my hair in just the perfect way!


    Talons dig into the soft dirt stuff, kneading anxious patterns into the ground as I keep my muscles tense to move at a second''s notice.


    The pond is really nice. Although¡­ apparently Tretion wants to turn it into a river? Try to permanently start linking rooms together to form larger ones instead of just starting from scratch. The water is such a soft shade of blue, and my jellyfish coo curiously at its surface. Wondering happily what it would be like to swim there.


    Tendrils flex and snap out every now and again. Anxious in ways I refuse to consider.


    The manor¡¯s bubbles are both harder and easier to see now. Like¡­ hm¡­ like I¡¯m better at sensing things with my Amwella but also the manor is working harder to shape itself into things. Even seems to lose control of some parts that look to have fully shifted into objects or plants. Or¡­ or¡­.


    Souls.


    I pull my everything close, hug my legs as the bile rises at the memory of Tretion¡¯s new soul. I want to¡­ to throw up. Try to distract myself with the little pain as the memories flash. As a panic rises. Can¡¯t help but gurgle a little Riftwalking song to try and pull free of the manor.


    To leave so I can¡¯t hurt any of them again.


    It doesn¡¯t Shift, doesn¡¯t let me go. I knew it wouldn¡¯t and I can¡¯t help but growl a little thank you amidst my anger at it. Know with one part it¡¯s good and right, but¡­ but also hate it. Hate how this thing keeps me here like¡­ like¡­


    N¨C No! NOT a slave. But¡­ something else. Something¡­ close to it?


    The curse¡¯s sting fades as my song ends. And I let out a huff and glare down and my talons.


    NO! They¡­ they¡¯re right. She was hurting me¡­ But¡­ no she¡­ I asked for it. Deserved it! Thendra was just¡­ giving me what I needed. Made me stronger and helped make sure no one could ever hurt me again!!!


    So¡­ why am I okay with Raska being allowed into the manor? Do¡­ Do I want to see her again? Even after what she did? But... I should have told her I was Fae. Dreamer¡¯s Tits If I saw a Fae that wasn¡¯t Awnya I¡¯d eat them without hesitating!!! SO I DESERVED THAT TOO!


    ... R¨C right?


    That thought stutters me into a mess of confused fidgeting as I wait here for one of my lovers to return. Before she even gets close enough to stop and call out, I feel my watcher approach.


    ¡°Lyra?¡± She calls.


    I turn to see her standing on the edge of the clearing, tired but¡­ calm. Head tendrils only doing a little anxious dance as her eyes dance over me.


    They both wanted to be there for the Everflame¡¯s formal moving into the manor. Something¡­ about her Oaths being really important and would hurt her if she broke them so¡­ but they wanted to make sure. Apparently Tretion gave her like¡­ almost five or six full pages of Oaths to agree to.


    So¡­ They asked me to wait here. In a little garden room while they handled that. Probably to make sure I didn¡¯t hurt anyone. I mean... Nelops offered to stay with me but... No matter what they say or feel they have to know that I¡¯m a very dangerous monster.


    ¡°May I come sit with you?¡±


    I nearly stutter out what would have been ugly sounds attempting to say something like ¡®of course, this is your home after all!¡¯ But¡­ that sounds awful and stupid so I instead nod. Pat the ground next to me and keep the stupid flap of flesh in my mouth blessedly still.


    Pull my soul and Jellyfish close so as to not even risk touching her soul. I will NEVER hurt her again. Not even a little!!!


    She walks over and sits, carefully also avoiding coming to close or touching at first.


    ¡°H¨C ow. Go?¡± I murmur.


    ¡°It went well.¡± Tretion smiles tiredly. ¡°She agreed to nearly every Oath with only a few very minor alterations to them. Mostly logistical, but she even helped me re-word a few to make them bind her more firmly to the Oath.¡±


    ¡°Good.¡± I¡¯m able to whisper without even a little stutter, then ask with a little more trouble. ¡°Awn¨C Awnya?¡±


    ¡°Finding them accommodations and handing introductions off to one of our other duenna. She should be coming here with a meal afterwards.¡±


    I let out a sigh, and before I can think about how to ask, a couple Jellyfish coo and wriggle over to float about her. Thankfully remaining just out of touch as they¡­ they¡­ Wait for my permission? I think?


    ¡°Oke?¡± I ask Tretion.


    Glimmering eyes dance between them and me, face filled with nothing but just¡­ sheer wonder. ¡°Of course. They¡¯re always welcome to nuzzle close, just as you are.¡±


    And as my Jellyfish titter with delight and paddle up to snuggle, I can¡¯t help but kinda stutter to a stop. Caught between desire and¡­ and such guilt and shame as I just stare at her soul. Compare it to my memory of¡­ of what it was supposed to be before I¨C


    ¡°Beloved?¡± Tretion murmurs softly, ¡°Would you like me to come hold you?¡±


    It¡¯s all I can do to nod, words just¡­ too hard in that moment, and my watcher takes me into her arms and holds me close. All but reaching out with her own soul to pull tendrils to herself as I freeze up a little.


    Nothing but love tinted with worry. No anger. Not even a hint of spite or fear that I may hurt her.


    She holds me so close when the tears start to fall. As lips blubber and stammer out attempted apologies over and over. Every time Tretion just¡­ she¡¯s wonderful. So perfect. Just¡­ keeps telling me that it¡¯s okay. That she forgives me, even though she knows for certain it wasn¡¯t my fault. And that her life is so much more than perfect now that I¡¯m here in her arms again.


    All while I¡¯m able to bask in her soul''s melody that beats and thrums in reflection to her words. Not even the barest trace of a lie pouring off her.


    That¡¯s how Awnya finds us. Curled close with freshly fallen tears still in our eyes.


    Like Tretion, she pauses at what seems to be the edge of my tendril¡¯s reach. Asks with a smirk if she can come join us. I simply nod and reach for her, pulling our Fae into such a long, warm hug as a Jellyfish wriggles over to nuzzle her soul too.


    Warm love, with a bit of curiosity on what brought these tears out but¡­ not really worried about it. Just¡­ excited to be here and about to enjoy a meal and cuddles with us.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been meaning to ask¡­¡± Awnya does finally murmur as we pull free of the hug a bit. ¡°These um¡­ little ones. You didn¡¯t have them before.¡±


    I shake my head. Trying to¡­ to consider how to explain them.


    ¡°J¨C Je¨C Jelly F¨C fish.¡± I start. ¡°H¨C ad be¨C fore. But¡­ hmmm¡­¡±


    The words just¡­ aren¡¯t enough. So many things to try and shove through lips and tongue and¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits I don¡¯t even know where to start!


    Awnya and Tretion wait so patiently. Our Fae pulls out and offers soft and sweet fruits and some warm bread to nibble at while Tretion wraps arms around to hold me close. Still just¡­ both of them, radiating love and simple curiosity. Not even a drip of worry.


    ¡°Jellyfish¡­ Are they from the sea between the Rifts?¡± Tretion eventually muses aloud.


    I huff and hold out a hand, wibble it back and forth in what I hope is a ¡®maybe¡¯ motion.


    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.


    ¡°We couldn¡¯t see them before, but you could?¡± Awnya murmurs.


    I nod, then push out. ¡°W¨C Worbs.¡±


    That gets such a quirk of the head from Awnya. ¡°You¡¯re trying to find the right words?¡±


    I shake my head, trying to¡­ to find how to... ¡°Je¨Cly- fish were wurbs. F¨C ear. P¨C pain. Sss¨Cpite. Wo¨Crds. S- sm- small before. H¨C h¨Chelped w¨C with crrr¨C curses.¡±


    A twitch and jolt of worry very nearly makes me jerk my everything free of them. Sudden terror that¡­ that all this was such a stupid mistake and¡­ and I¡¯m about to¡­ to¡­


    ¡°Are they hurting you?¡± Tretion whispers softly, and her worry clarifies into that shape.


    I shake my head. ¡°No. lil be¨Cfore. Not n¨Cow.¡±


    ¡°I thought not, but wanted to make sure. They really are lovely little ones, aren¡¯t they?¡± Tretion squeezes me tighter, nuzzling closer to both me and them.


    I can¡¯t help but¡­ but lean into her at the words. Murmur little agreements as such a flood of relief washes through me at her adorations for my little family. ¡°They L¨Clove m- me.¡±


    Awnya pulls up a talon of mine to kiss at. Placing a tasty treat in my palm before letting go. ¡°I have like¡­ an eternity of questions. If that¡¯s alright?¡±


    I nod and nibble at the little treat, ¡°Oke.¡±


    At this point my Jellyfish at her soul seem to settle into a sort of¡­ nap? Yeah a nap next to her soul. I¡¯ve never seen them do that with anyone except me but¡­ she seems happy and they seem fine so¡­ I don¡¯t worry about it. They¡¯ll never hurt or feast on anyone I don¡¯t ask them too.


    ¡°You said these Jellyfish,¡± Awnya brushes fingers in the direction of the one snuggling to her soul. ¡°Are words. Like¡­ Fae words? Then... they were like¡­ a part of you? Buuuuut now they''re like... manifesting?¡±


    I think on that for a second, then nod. ¡°Mhm. Um¡­ B¨C but al¨C so Blight O¨Ccee¨Can.¡±


    Awnya pauses to nibble on a fruit for a while. Soul just¡­ a calming thrum of consideration and wonder and¡­ well I guess there is a touch of concern but¡­ it doesn¡¯t seem to be directed at me or my Jellyfish more at¡­ something else?


    Her eyes roll up and down me, and such a¡­ an odd smirk quirks at her lips.


    Then Tretion¡¯s soul sparks with just a touch of worry too. ¡°Love.¡± She murmurs past me to our Fae. Voice and soul thrumming a soft warning.


    ¡°I¡­ It seems like a good time, and... One of my biggest regrets is that I didn¡¯t get the chance to tell her.¡±


    I pull back from my watcher and look between them. ¡°Wuh?¡±


    Tretion reaches out to cup my cheek. ¡°We just¡­ you¡¯ve been through a lot and we¡¯re only just getting you comfortable talking. We have so much we¡¯re trying to help you heal from. This can wait.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but lean into her hand, kiss the palm, then whisper. ¡°Tell. Www¨Cill be f¨Cine. I oke."


    ¡°We can focus on the good half, deal with the rest later?¡± Awnya offers.


    Tretion sighs, but nods. ¡°Honestly at this point we¡¯d upset you more by not explaining. What with how she¡¯s already tantalized you with it.¡±


    Awnya can¡¯t help but chuckle, but¡­ there is a hint of regret and guilt there. ¡°You¡¯re right. I¡­ I kinda slipped there. Sorry.¡±


    Tretion moves to snuggle me close. ¡°I trust you love, just¡­ you do jump before looking sometimes. I¡¯m happy to act as a safety rope if you need to pull back.¡±


    Awnya nods and her soul settles, moves up to sit closer and give us both little pecking kisses. ¡°Thanks. Love you. Both of you. So much.¡±


    Then she takes a deep breath, lets it out, and looks to me with a such a smile. ¡°Lyra, do you know anything about the first Fae?¡±


    I shake my head. A little wary and confused by the question.


    ¡°Nothing? Yuna didn¡¯t¡­¡±


    My mother¡¯s name. I wince, and a soft little sound escapes my lips as I remember her grove. Wild and overgrown and¡­ and abandoned and¡­


    ¡°Sorry. That¡­ she¡¯s, ah Dreamer¡¯s Tits!¡± Awnya immediately pulls up to wrap legs tighter around us. ¡°I¡¯m sorry she wasn¡¯t home when you tried to visit. She¡¯s in the Morning Court with a couple of¡­ huh, I guess they¡¯d be your sisters.¡±


    I bite my lower lip so hard it bleeds. Such a wash of both joy and¡­ and shame and sadness and¡­ and¡­


    ¡°Hey hey hey hey. It¡¯s okay, love. She¡¯s going to be SO happy to hear you¡¯re alive and with us.¡± Awnya pulls my face up, uses a finger to loosen my bite and rub the blood away. Hums such a soft tune under her words to help encourage healing. ¡°But¡­ Only when you¡¯re ready.¡±


    ¡°Sh¨Ce Oke? Ussss-ete? O¨C oke?¡±


    She winces a little. ¡°Eh¡­ They¡¯re managing. But that¡¯s not what we need to talk about right now.¡±


    I curl tight around myself. ¡°Srry.¡±


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t your fault. And¡­¡± Tretion murmurs and hugs me so tight. ¡°They¡¯re sorry too.¡±


    Awnya continues after a few beats. ¡°BUT, that is not what I need to tell you.¡±


    Deep breath, and I look back up to her.


    ¡°So¡­ where was I?¡±


    Tretion sighs. ¡°The First Fae.¡±


    ¡°Right!¡± Awnya takes up both of our entwined hands and kisses them. ¡°So, the Fae don¡¯t remember much, and a lot of our stories contradict each other a lot, but something that a ton of our oldest songs on them mention is that the first Fae came from outside the Dream itself.¡±


    An old memory snaps into my mind then. One that¡­ that I¡¯d been trying to piece together over the past few years. Only¡­ only the soul of that dying Godthing gave me even a little droplet to add.


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Awnya asks softly, pulling my attention back to her. ¡°Right there you¡­ what is it? What do you remember?¡±


    Remember? She¡­ how¡­ how does she know¡­ WAIT!!!


    ¡°H¨C ow yy¨C you knnn-ow!?!¡± I very nearly hiss the words at her.


    She winces, and her soul thrums with guilt. ¡°I¡­ Your mom told me.¡±


    ¡°Sh¨Cssssshheeee¡± I spit, jerking free of her hands. ¡°Kn¨C kn¨C kn¨C ew!?!¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    I growl and hiss and glare down at my stupid talons. ¡°H¨C h¨C how?¡±


    ¡°Eh¡­ It''s complicated. She just¡­ the way your Amwella never was even bothered by the Rot and Ruin tipped her off.¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C Why?¡± I force out. ¡°Wh¨C wh¨C w¨C why. N¨C nnnot. T¨C tell m- m- me!?!?¡±


    ¡°She didn¡¯t want to hurt you.¡± Awnya tries to calm me. ¡°Drug a Promise Song out of me before she¡¯d even sing a word of it.¡±


    That makes me freeze for a second. ¡°B¨Cut¡­ T¨C ell now? How?¡±


    ¡°She broke the promise song for me. To¡­ to help with magic so I can eventually leave the manor.¡± Tretion murmurs, letting tendrils and soft lips nuzzle my hair as her soul flitters with anxious worry. ¡°But¡­ From what Awnya told me it seems you didn¡¯t remember this before. May we ask when and what you know?¡±


    My fury tilts into such shame and guilt and¡­ and pain. So much at¡­ at¡­


    I shake my head. ¡°Y¨C you F¨Cff- fir¨C first.¡±


    Awnya sighs while Tretion nods.


    ¡°Alright. I um¡­ Okay so you came from outside the Dream. Were and are able to swim through the sea of Rot and Ruin to get here after¡­ um¡­¡± She hesitates, and I feel in her soul that she¡¯s about to pivot past but¡­


    But she sees it in my eyes. And I see it in hers.


    ¡®After your parents killed you.¡¯


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits, Lyra I¡­ I¡¯m so sorry.¡± She whispers as I can feel her heart breaking. ¡°That¡­ I was going to save that for later. You¡­ I¡­¡±


    I have to look away. Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t stand to see that in her. The knowledge that even my human parents hated me so Dreamer Blighted much that they wanted to see me dead and gone and rotting and¨C


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Tretion¡¯s gentle voice and furious flare of love cuts through my spiral like lightning in pitch night. ¡°My Beloved, you crossed through death, an endless void, and a blighted sea to come to this Dream. To your mother. To Awnya. And to me. You mastered Songcraft quicker than any other Fae and rewove for yourself a wondrous and perfect body to suit well the soul beneath.¡±


    ¡°Exactly!¡± Awnya agrees. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits, That''s what I needed to tell you!!! You really are the most Fae girl I¡¯ll ever meet! Because that¡¯s what the first ones did! They came here from somewhere else and¡­ and helped heal everything! Warm the Dream and share their sparks and make new Fae out of silly little forest creatures like me!¡± Our wondrously perfect Fae takes up my talons and kisses them both. ¡°I was given my Spark, while you? Your Amwella blazed since before you ever even touched this Dream!¡±


    I shake my head. Overwhelmed by¡­ by this all. My soul riven in twine between the pain at the memories, and the loving swell in their souls and words.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure how much I trust knowledge passed down through the flippant whims of Fae narrations.¡± Tretion adds. ¡°But¡­ It all fits. And you¡¯ve always been a wonder, Lyra.¡±


    ¡°Why m¨Catter?¡± I whisper.


    ¡°Because¡­¡± Awnya purrs then, reaching up to cup my cheek as her soul thrums in such loving admiration. ¡°You deserve to know just how special and amazing you are. How¡­ how despite all the absolute horror you¡¯ve suffered, you¡¯ve always kept fighting. Kept swimming to reach for love and happiness.¡±


    Tretion pulls us both so close then, murmurs. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s one of the reasons I fell in love with you. I¡­ when we first met I could have so easily become just like my grandmother, given enough time. All because of how cruel she was to me, but¡­ there you were. So different but so much like me. Unwilling to become the monster this Dream was trying to break you into. Willing to suffer more if it meant a stranger could live better.¡±


    I don¡¯t know when I started to shake, but now I¡¯m trembling. Falling apart at¡­ at just how wonderful and perfect and how¡­ how... and just how WRONG they are!!!


    I let talons dig and scratch at burned flesh so hard I bleed.


    ¡°B¨C B¨C but M¨C m¡ª monstrrrr.¡± I growl through rising sobs. ¡°Kk¨Cilled Fff¡ª ather. A¨Cate Trei¡ªtrrretioon¡¯s S¨C soul! Then¡­ Th¨Cthen¡­ a- a- ate m- mo- more!!!¡±


    So much. A decade of just¡­ letting Thendra drag me into just¡­ letting go. Stop worrying about feeling. So willing to slaughter and feast and Reave this Dream of so many souls if it meant she would just¡­


    Keep me.


    ¡°Lyra you are not a m¨C¡±


    ¡°AM MONSTER!!!¡± I scream so clearly it jolts them both at how perfect the words come out. Souls flicker in worry, then¡­ then pain and pity and¨C


    I struggle, jerking free of our snuggle. They let me pull free, don¡¯t try to stop me as I get up to walk away. I don¡¯t like¡­ go far. Just far enough away that my soul tails would have to merge a lot before they could reach them. Then I plop to sit in the weird grass and glare out at the odd trees growing here.


    What am I still doing here!?! I¡­ I don¡¯t deserve to feel their love! I should just¡­ just¡­ find a way back to the Blighted Sea. Just like I planned.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Tretion is the first to break the silence. ¡°I said it before, and yes, I can only assume what she¡¯s had you doing, but you did what you needed to do to survive. And in the thrall of a Reaver it was undoubtedly horrid.¡±


    Such a stupid thing for such a brilliant person to say. I¡­ I¡¯ve not been Thendra''s slave for years. I did whatever she told me to do. It was all my choice!!! Why can¡¯t they just¡­ just HATE me? Show just a little bit of anger for the monster that hurt them both so much!?!


    ¡°Exactly! And like... Where else could you have gone?¡± Awnya murmurs. ¡°And how would she have reacted if you¡¯d not been willing to be her Reaver? What more would she have done to you?¡±


    Her words bring a flurry of¡­ of such¡­ horrid possibilities. She¡­ I mean¡­ she might have just kept me as a¡­ I swallow hard at the words, push away the horrid memories. Pillow slave. I¡­ I should have just¡­ been that. Would have hurt less people and she would have¨C


    But then a memory Thendra¡¯s words cut through me like a knife.


    ¡°In this state she cannot come with me into a conflict.¡± Thendra leaned back, ¡°I would place her in one of these brothels, a luxury prize that would bring in a decent amount of coin, but¡­ As I said, I do not wish to manage such a place.¡±


    ¡°And any that could pay you well probably fear the risk of having her.¡± Tretion murmured.


    There would have been no place for me. I¡¯m trembling so hard then as I remember that first time I met Tretion. How¡­ how even then I was so poised and ready to just¡­ just kill her or¡­ or give her up to some cruel godthing. But¡­ but I didn''t.


    COULDN¡¯T!!!


    So¡­ what would she have done to¡­ to make me into this? To push me farther and farther until¨C


    ¡°And there were the Fae to consider.¡± Tretion very nearly growls as I curl tight around myself. ¡°That woman is a wretch, but¡­ you felt she offered you safety from them.¡±


    ¡°More like she made herself seem like the only safe place you could be.¡± Awnya spits. ¡°Because that¡¯s what happened with Raska. The cunt knew you¡¯d get attached, and just¡­ waited to use her hatred to hurt you.¡±


    I huff, and glare off into the trees. Not... not able to find wrong things in their words but...


    ¡°But¡­You are safe here, and it¡¯s like I told you all those years ago, none can enter without mine or Awnya¡¯s approval.¡± Tretion moves to scoot just a little closer. ¡°We¡¯re going to keep you here. Safe and healing. With or without our direct help. Able to rest and just¡­ Explore who you want to be. Without horrid souls pushing you this way and that.¡±


    My soulfire thrums. All this is just¡­ it¡¯s too much. And¡­ and I can¡¯t help but dig talons into my flesh as I feel the hunger bubbling up. Such a deep and reflexive call for my Dark Goddess to¡­ to break me. Pin me amidst spice and warmth while she reaves body and soul and¨C


    ¡°Exactly. Dreamer¡¯s Tits I¡­ I only did a bit of research into what you being like the first Fae could mean but¡­ like¡­ Your little Jellyfish there inspire me girl.¡± Awnya gushes in a way that I can feel the grin she must wear. ¡°You¡¯ve taken what most would consider wretched and blighted and¡­ and taken care of them! Loved them and¡­ and they just¡­ they¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits we can literally feel how happy they are to be here and with you!¡±


    That jolts me from the spiral. Makes me look at my Jellyfish that coo and nuzzle so close as they seem to continue their nap snuggled close to my sea of Amwella.


    ¡°You¡¯re an excellent mother to them.¡± Tretion murmurs. So soft and¡­ and almost more to herself.


    I wrap tendrils around them and pull my clutch ever closer. Feel fresh tears bubble out as¡­ and her words wash through me. I like¡­ kinda knew that. Felt more than understood what I became to them.


    But¡­ Memories of¡­ of my first mother drag me into such a muck of pain. The woman who¡­ who loved me before¡­ before cursing me and hating me and¡­ and helping hurt me so¡­ so much and¡­ and what if I¡¯m like her!?! I¡­ I can¡¯t¡­ but¡­ but they don¡¯t want to leave me!?! I¡¯ve never hurt them and¡­ and seemed just so happy as they nuzzled up to their Amwella!!!


    And then a slew of memories of my own Fae mother. She¡­ she tried to help me. But¡­ but she just¡­ never fought for me. Never seemed willing or wanting to like¡­ like¡­ But that¡¯s not fair to ask of her! It¡¯s like she told me!


    ''Never live in misery for another¡¯s happiness.''


    But¡­ I would do anything for those who love me. HAVE done anything for¡­ for¡­


    Dance around that thought. Don¡¯t want to consider that right now.


    BUT they seem so happy here! Delighted every single time they¡­ they¡­


    It¡¯s only then that I realize that I¡¯m missing a few. Sensing in a snap of realization that a couple of them stayed behind when I got up. Remain so snoozy and just¡­ comfortable snuggled up to another¡¯s souls.


    Thoughtlessly and easily basking in the warm love of my Watcher and Fae.


    I turn back to just¡­ watch Awnya and Tretion sitting comfortable and happy and¡­ and delighted to feel them remain close. Offer them thrumming of warm resolute love from their own souls as mine dips into muck.


    They smile at me, and so much of the pain and worry drips away at that.


    ¡°Lyra, would you like us to come hold you too?¡± Awnya smirks.


    I can only nod, and end up moving to meet them half-way as we kinda scrupple across the grass. Fall into a big hug pile and wrap both of them and everyone of my children in my endless sea of tendrils.


    Letting myself just¡­ drown in their affections and love and¡­ and steadfast assurance that everything is going to be okay. That they¡¯ve found me and I¡¯ve found them and¡­ and they just¡­ never want to let me go.


    Find even this broken and sad thing I¡¯ve let myself become rapturously worthy of their love.


    We accidentally wake up the napping Jellyfish but¡­ after some grumbles they join in the embrace.


    Just¡­ so happy to be squished between our souls.

 Chapter 93: Huntress of the Deepest and Most Cruel Places

    <u>CW:</u>


    New POV!!! Oh dear us who could this be? Violence. Threats. Shapeshifting. Dehumanizing another. Discussion of memory loss/personality death.


    Despite her good humor, The Hr?daya is worried.


    And¡­ not in a fleeting way. Not some flash of concern before She adapts pathways around the prey, not an annoying anomaly that nips and bites at Her heels like the red-haired songstress was at first. This is more than that.


    This could ruin everything if it cracks and hatches forth before its time.


    So here I wait, her only reliable Reaver left, for weeks and weeks. Settled in to see who they send to discuss the changes anyone with ears to hear and souls to see understands fast approaches. It takes a long time to make them gather though. Things like us don¡¯t see time in the same way as the sparks do.


    A few Fae elders are already here. Languid and at ease since they sense none but their own kind in the grove.


    But then everything changes.


    It¡¯s quite a thing to feel a Hearthfire get riven and smothered to naught but ruined ash, then vanish. The shifting and rattling of the Rifts and Woods makes me nearly fall off the tree I¡¯ve burrowed into.


    Furthonois is dead.


    It takes me at least a day to recover from that, and it''s good that the Hr?daya is safe behind the old wards. She¡¯s better at hiding it all but¡­ this Shift in the Sapana will tear at soul and mind for at least a few days. Drive even Her feral with hunger and wroth at the slightest wound inflicted.


    But¡­ then I consider the soul who very likely slew and devoured Furthonois¡­


    ¡°It¡¯s Spreading.¡± It had giggled like that was simply the most deliciously funny thing in all the Sapana.


    I shiver at the memory of that little wretched thing¡¯s words from so long ago.


    Just another proof of what it was just¡­ emblazoned before us. Even... I still wonder how quickly She understood the creature that gave itself to her?


    As I recover, the Fae are still fluttering about like a pack of roused and annoyed ants.


    None here are old enough to remember the last time this happened. Fewer still truly understand the damage this does to their precious ''Dream''.


    Another week passes, and many Fae move in and out of the grove. Weaving Fae-song and twisting wards and requesting tree roots wind up from the dirt to create little huts and homes. One of them even almost discovers my rotten perch, forcing me to burrow deep before spending a day finding a new place to watch and listen from.


    Need to make sure none arrive who remember, and that anyone that might know a few of the old names is simply too young to understand their importance. But¡­ The oldest Fae here are barely even aged enough to remember the last Godthing who bore that Hearthflame before Furthonois.


    But¡­ eventually something shifts as even more elderly Fae gather, and I hear in their anxious words and songs hum their desperation.


    Because none here can feel the Hearthflame reignite and blaze anew, and the scouts visiting the city and trying to understand what¡¯s happened only have the tales that corpses can tell. None seem to be left alive to recount what happened.


    A Hearthflame doesn''t vanish. Even if dragged into a blighted forest or ocean it¡¯ll burn hot and Reave away at the Sapana. So¡­ where is it?


    The young worry circles around themselves, terrified of the possibilities and implications. And after another week, two Godthings arrive.


    The oldest of the conclave, never suffering a death after mantling her Hearthflame, the Goddess known as Dreadweave. All twisting black reflections of the sky beyond the Dream shaping itself into the form of some large lizardthing of some kind. Still very feminine and sharped with deadly grace.


    And then comes the godling Ukalon. Currently bearing the corpse of a Cinderkin with multiple twisting horns sprouting from their back. Already their soulfire weaving razored feathers to writhe from its flesh.


    One of the Fae elders steps forward to greet them. All ceremony, all tradition, and most of all¡­ carefully woven performance of respect. Everyone here hates the others, but to openly speak to that would dissolve such prideful children to useless squabbles.


    The Fae tolerate the Godlings because their Hearthflames burn only a little less brightly than their Woods. And the Godlings know well what a Fae people roused to despair and pain would mean for their precious ''Dream''.


    None here wish to see the ''Rot and Ruin'' spread any faster than it already does.


    ¡°A Hearthflame has passed to a new bearer.¡± The Fae elder speaks with all the politeness of one who thinks themselves old and wise faced with a problem they¡¯ve never encountered. ¡°And the Fae stand ready to greet and inform them of the ancient Oaths and Agreements.¡±


    A long pause settles.


    Ukalon sighs, voice a thrumming crescendo that sounds so much like a flock of agitated birds. ¡°My contacts know only that most everyone in the temple was consumed, those that fled speak of some mercenary attacking Furthonois. Called itself the Desolate Maw or some such.¡±


    ¡°And why have you not brought them here?¡± The Fae presses. ¡°The two of you have managed the host¡¯s many transfers over the centuries from what I was taught. Brought them here with ease since it is the most weak and spent of you.¡±


    Ukalon smiles, ¡°Fae child, you were not here when last that mantle passed to another, but know that Furthonois was¡­ quite tame. She bore its burden well in her rule. But every cycle makes it more and more wretched and unpredictable, creating the possibility for¡­ something less than cultivated and civil to arise. As for where it is¡­ I¡¯ve not a clue. Perhaps¡­ Well, we all know the Rifts can¡¯t last like this forever. There is the chance that it never reignited, the Amwella dispersed and lost.¡±


    The Fae nearly hisses. ¡°You expect us to just accept such a swath of the Dream to sink into the Blight and Rot?¡±


    Ukalon laughs then, cruel and without mirth. ¡°Your kind care for Theradas and its nearby Rifts even less than we do.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s irrelevant.¡± The Fae spits back. ¡°There are countless souls there! Sparks of warmth that will be snuffed out and lost to never be recovered if the Blighted Sea floods in. That kind of loss is exactly the thing this conclave was formed to stop.¡±


    Ukalon spreads her large arms. ¡°We cannot fulfill our Oaths if there is no Hearthflame to recover or shepherd here. Reveal it to us and we will honor them.¡±


    ¡°You will not search for it!?!¡±


    The Godling shrugs. ¡°We have scoured the Rifts longer than needed for the past half-dozen cycles. It is not here.¡±


    The Fae glares, then turns to face the Goddess of black glass. ¡°Honored Dreadweave, surely you see the madness in that. Until we discover a body or¡­ or some account of the mantle¡¯s passing you cannot give up on this!¡±


    A shift, and the Obsidian Godling turns to regard the Fae. Voice ripples out from her like a blade¡¯s edge on silk. ¡°The Hearthflame is not flitting among the Rifts anymore, but¡­ that does not mean it is lost. There are many places one can hide from even the most piercing gazes.¡±


    ¡°Exactly my point.¡± The Fae starts to say. ¡°We¨C¡±


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    ¡°But.¡± The Goddesses voice, despite being so soft, is too cruel for the Fae to speak over or around it. ¡°We believe that it is the Fae, not us, who are Oathbound to shepherd this new bearer of that mantle into our conclave.¡±


    ¡°What? How do you come to that conclusion?¡± The Fae retorts. ¡°The stolen Hearthflames are your responsibility to manage and¨C¡±


    Dreadweave does not speak, but her sudden stillness and aura sings in the way of a predator narrowing her eyes in aggression and annoyance. Considering if this little agitated bird is worth leaping upon.


    The Fae takes a step back, and the grove is suddenly still with resonant Fae songs. All the people here are ready to act in case of sudden violence.


    But¡­ eventually the Fae takes a breath and breathes out. ¡°Apologizes. I spoke out of turn. Roving, Hearthflames. Is that a more acceptable term?¡±


    Dreadweave hums, ¡°You are young, Fae. And¡­ your kind love to twist truths to suit their songs. Some Hearthflames were claimed without the Fae''s consent. This one was gifted. I will allow you this slip, but know that if you sing to the next time a Hearthflame is passed, I won¡¯t be as forgiving.¡±


    Everyone takes a calming breath.


    ¡°But, why do you consider this our responsibility?¡± The Fae elder eventually asks. ¡°The conclave¡¯s Oaths are very clear who handles what. To cross the boundary between has always invited conflict and disaster.¡±


    Dreadweave nods. ¡°Very true. Which is why I will not move to find this Hearthflame. I believe the girl who slew Furthonois and drank their soul was Fae.¡±


    The shocked pause is deafening.


    ¡°What!?!¡± The Elderly Fae hisses. ¡°How¡­ What could lead you to believe that?¡±


    I¡¯m so sure Dreadweave is smiling as she purrs. ¡°Two reasons. One, a Fae girl has been harming the trade of soulfire for this past decade. We assisted in attempting to trap her, but in failure we discovered for certain her name. Awnya of the Fae. Spark-kin to one of your Blight cleansers.¡±


    The Fae elder pales. ¡°A¨C Awnya? She¡­ is she alright?¡±


    Dreadweave shrugs. ¡°We¡¯ve no idea. But some of our eyes in Theradas caught glimpses of a red-haired songstress fighting some wretched Reaver atop the roofs of that city on the same night Furthonois died.¡±


    Shaking her head the Fae only replies. ¡°You said you had a second reason. That¡­ it could mean the fool-girl somehow thought that fighting Furthonois was wise but it doesn¡¯t support your claim in full.¡±


    ¡°No. In fact we¡¯re quite certain she didn¡¯t enter the Godthing¡¯s temple until after the battle had been resolved.¡± The godthing agrees. ¡°The second reason is that we know for certain the identity and name of this Desolate Maw Ukalon spoke of. An oddly¡­ voracious Fae girl known once as Lyra.¡±


    A pause, then the Fae curses. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits! She''s alive!?!¡±


    Ukalon jerks to glare at Dreadweave. ¡°You¡­ absolute Star Rotted cunt. Why?¡±


    ¡°Hmm?¡± Dreadweave purrs.


    ¡°Why did you not share this at the start? How long were you aware of a soul-drinking Fae roaming the Rifts!?!¡± Ukalon growls.


    Dreadweave shrugs. ¡°Does it matter? She was no threat to us. Kept tame by a Dreamer¡¯s Lamentation of her own design and bound to a Reaver.¡±


    ¡°Have you checked to see if she¡¯s with her? This Reaver brute?¡± The Fae hisses.


    ¡°Neither Fae left the temple by the door, and that Reaver¡¯s manor is Riftwarded. Speak to her, and glean some insight on this Fae¡¯s location. Or not.¡± Dreadweave ripples, black glass looking so much like she¡¯s gone from sitting to standing. ¡°Either way, I¡¯ve honored these Oaths and will return to my Rifts.¡±


    Then she stands, and begins to leave. Weaving a strange twisting vortex of a Riftwalk that seems to collapse in one the massive shape of the Goddess.


    The Fae seems so much like she wishes to shout after Dreadweave, but only turns to Ukalon. ¡°Thank you for your time. We¡¯ll see to our Oaths.¡±


    Deep breaths as I retreat a little into my perch.


    So¡­ the wretched thing did it.


    Killed one of the Godthings and mantled its Hearthflame. Not¡­ honestly it¡¯s the worst one for that but¡­ also probably the easiest to kill. Furthonois was the weakest and least prone to paranoia. Wove virtually no wards and kept no Thrallforms. Didn¡¯t even develop a War-shape beyond some simple flesh-changes. Never encountered a foe willing or able to outfeed their venoms'' hunger.


    But now the Fae know of Lyra¡¯s survival, and the question now is who will they send to hunt it? Will they be able to rouse someone problematic? Or just a Fae they see as quick and more¡­ untamed?


    That¡¯s what I¡¯m here to find out, and my answer comes quickly.


    Within three days a great tiger prowls from the trees. Immaculate fur a twisting black with jade-woven stripes, and after a soft song of greeting from the gathered Elders, its form writhes to form that of a tall girlthing. Amwella a thrumming thick mass of writhing fury restrained by a lazy huntresses weariness.


    Kelevar, a great Elder of Fae kind, and one who returned to the forest before any of the Fae gathered were even gifted their spark.


    She licks dried blood off a talon as the Fae murmur soft songs to this dangerous predator. Explain the disaster in simple and overly respectful terms. Kelevar has little patience for it. Quickly nods and waves a talon to quiet them after they speak their needs. Takes a deep breath while setting such a frown on her lips.


    This¡­ is bad. Not as bad as it could be. Not worth risking a quick and deadly strike while she¡¯s distracted but¡­ quite the problem to Her plans.


    ¡°You should wait for another to answer your calls.¡± Elevar murmurs, voice such a soft and delicate thing but¡­ deep and thrumming.


    But¡­ the Elders express the need for speed, and her hunting skills were unmatched. Even by the Godlings and older Fae of her time. I can¡¯t help but smile as they play so well into her weakness. Work to flatter this Matron of the deepest, most cruel and ruthless jungles into agreeing to this challenge. For a people who love to pluck at the heartstrings of the Sapana through song, they are incredibly easy to manipulate with simple twistings of words.


    It works, if only barely. And she grins wickedly. ¡°Alright, but¡­ know that I cannot guarantee her survival. Capture is not my heart¡¯s symphony.¡±


    They beg her to be careful but¡­ accept the consequences. Know well the song they¡¯ll need to sing to draw the huntress who can deal with this Fae should she succumb to her urges and devour the mantle.


    And then she¡¯s gone. Back into the shadow of the forest to begin her hunt for the lost Hearthfire.


    I burrow deep in the earth beneath the Fae-Wood. Into the old riven tunnels that we know well that few of even the Slumbering remember its placements and winding ways.


    But then a familiar scent catches my attention. An old thing of many years past that¡­


    No.


    NO! She can¡¯t be¨C


    But before my thoughts and instincts can jolt me into escaping, a hand has plunged through the wood and dirt and clutches at my very soul. Tendrils wrap around and around and around as lightning sparks and growls.


    Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t shift! And¡­ Even if I was able to, I''m always so much weaker than her when I lose my advantage in distance.


    ¡°Bulderii.¡± She hisses as she pins my writhing form to the wall. Only letting me shift enough to partially resemble a walking human. Albeit one with quite a few extra ugly bits still piecing through. ¡°What does Thendra have you skulking about here for?¡±


    It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s hard not to marvel at what my Naranggas senses tell me of her Amwella. So much brighter and vibrant after over a decade spent at least partially in the Fae wood. Riven with¡­ with disgusting warmth drinking from a blazing Hearthfire brings.


    ¡°Answer me!¡± She snarls, ¡°Or I¡¯ll send you back to the Well and go ask Her myself.¡±


    I still, then spit. ¡°You¡¯d die. No matter how much fire you¡¯ve taken from them. She¡¯d love the chance to rip your Amwella free and engorge us all on it.¡±


    She chuckles. ¡°Oh, most definitely. But¡­ What of that curse she no doubt still bears? Even a small sting could bleed her enough to make balancing the drain annoying.¡±


    I growl, suddenly worried that she might just¡­ just be willing to die and suffer the torment of rebirth if it means leaving a thorn in our foot. ¡°I wasn¡¯t here to track you, Undreka. She gladly traded your weakness away. Has no desire to ever see you again!¡±


    Her own tendrils writhe in¡­ in pain and fury and a dozen other twisting emotions at that. So much that I worry I¡¯ve struck a nerve that will make her kill me out of pure spite. She¡¯s¡­ Undreka never was prone to outbursts. Even after rebirth. But¡­


    ¡°So... Then why are you here?¡±


    I consider lying. Weigh it against the cost of my death to Her. The Hr?daya could manage but¡­ She¡¯ll need her left stinger, especially since this right one abandoned us.


    ¡°My life, and an answer from you.¡± I offer then, ¡°And I¡¯ll tell you the simple truth. No more.¡±


    She considers that for a while, soul slowly calming in prelude to her words.


    ¡°Three questions that you will answer truthfully.¡± She offers.


    ¡°Two only, and why I am here is the first.¡± I counter.


    She tightens her grip again. ¡°Three, and it can be the first.¡±


    ¡°Agreed. So long as my life and freedom are guaranteed.¡±


    ¡°Agreed.¡± She drops me, and allows me to twist my shape back into one of legs and tall ripcord muscle. Then she reaches out to grip my soul with one of her tendrils, and allows one of mine to touch hers. Our senses are well attuned to read each other for lies. ¡°Now. You start. Why are you here?¡±


    I tell her, and keep it as simple as I can. Weave subtle hints to hopefully misdirect her from the true purpose. ¡°Thendra wants to know who they¡¯re sending after the stolen Hearthflame. Is considering how she wishes to entreat with this new Godthing. You know well how much she relied on the patronage and desires of Furthonois. She wants to ensure nothing is amiss.¡±


    She considers that for a bit before saying. ¡°You may ask your question now.¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°No. I¡¯ll go last.¡±


    Her smirk literally blazes on her soul at that. ¡°Fine. When is she planning on hunting me in earnest?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°Never. She¡­ she keeps her Oaths. She¡¯d need to sacrifice much to even stand near you. She considers you cut away.¡±


    Her soul once again sings of¡­ of many things. Subtle and smothered but¡­ there. So much of her longed for Thendra to want her back. Even after She tried so hard to escape Her clutches all those years ago.


    She waits even longer, enough to make me prompt. ¡°You¡¯re last question, then mine, and we part ways. Hopefully for longer than before.¡±


    She sighs. ¡°My last was¡­ It was going to be about how close she was to finding me. Or¡­ whether she would be willing to resume a hunt now that you¡¯ve found me here. But now¡­ I¡¯ve realized I bargained for more than I needed. Would be willing to leave it unspoken until the next time we might meet.¡±


    ¡°Fine with me.¡± I nod. ¡°Why did you leave?¡±


    ¡°It¡­ Lots of reasons. Not sure even I understand them all, Bulderii. Thendra can¡­¡± She trails off then, her soul¡¯s emotions turn¡­ strange. Considering some complex path of thought. ¡°If you were to tell me why you¡¯re asking, I¡¯d be more able to answer to your satisfaction.¡±


    I freeze then, work to still my own soul to better hide my¡­ but¡­ why not tell her? She¡¯s no threat to me or Her. But then¡­ Why am I asking? Not for the Hr?daya, that¡¯s for certain. So¡­ is it to better perform my own tasks well? To understand why she was so willing to let that wretched thing slaughter our brood over and over like so much chaff and waste?


    ¡°Because, I suspect¡­¡± Undreka murmurs so softly. ¡°That you might be having the same thoughts I was. And if that¡¯s the case I¡¯m not sure you¡¯ll like the answers I have to give.¡±


    Flesh and bone and mind and Naranggas writhe and break a little at her words. Shove her tendrils off me so I can step back. ¡°I¡¯m nothing like you, Undreka. You left Her, left us all. I only ask to better understand Her. Why She¡­¡±


    Even in the pitch I can feel her grimace. ¡°She¡¯s thrown many of them away since I left, I suspect. Forced them to die and crawl up from that wretched pit.¡±


    Her not-question cuts me to my core.


    She steps forward, and I want so much to pull away as she wraps a hand around the back of my neck, but¡­ also can¡¯t fathom how to make even a muscle move. ¡°I left partially because I couldn¡¯t stomach watching another one of us rise up a thoughtless husk that will take years to even remember our own names.¡±


    ¡°How¡­¡± I barely avoid making it a question. ¡°I¡¯m not sure how many I¡­ Undreka, she¡¯s let them be slaughtered over a dozen times. All to that¡­ that wretched thing.¡±


    Too much. I¡¯m saying too much.


    Undreka''s breath stutters in the dark. ¡°Wait¡­ Fed? What¡¯s she been feeding our Reavers to?"


    I move then, snapped back to my senses.


    That name, Reavers, just¡­ so quickly always pulls us back to her when she calls.


    ¡°I accept the answer you¡¯ve given, and we¡¯ll part¨C¡±


    Suddenly, Undreka has me by the throat, pressing me into the wall with a snarl of fury. ¡°What in the Ravaged Sapana is she feeding our brood to, Bulderii?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ Undreka it¡­¡±


    Soul tendrils wrap tight around my single one, squeeze as she demands. ¡°Answer me, or return to the Pit an Oathbreaker.¡±


    ¡°A¡­ a slave she kept and freed. One with¨C¡±


    She so easily senses my confliction as I scramble to craft an answer to draw her away from the truth.


    ¡°Bulderii.¡± She snaps. ¡°Complete answers. Give me a name!¡±


    A pause, and again I weigh my options. What will serve Thendra more? My death and silence or for this danger not knowing enough? Or¡­ telling her and returning with understanding?


    Both carry risks. But¡­ better for her to know of a possible threat and have me at her side.


    ¡°Lyra.¡±


    Undreka jerks to a halt, and drops me to the floor, tearing Naranggas free just as her soul tips into odd flares of fury I can¡¯t understand. I know better than to try and move now. Can sense her soul¡¯s writhing fury so close to mine.


    Still deciding if she means to break this Oath and kill me.


    ¡°Change of plans, Bulderii.¡± She purrs so softly, and her teeth glimmer in the pitch of the tunnels. ¡°I¡¯m going back to Theradas, and you¡¯re going to arrange a peaceful talk between me and our dear Hr?daya.¡±


    ¡°And if I refuse?¡±


    A hand grabs my arm and Undreka pulls me to my feet as she barks out a laugh, ¡°You¡¯re out of questions. And I doubt very much you¡¯d like to discover the answer to it anyway. I¡¯m not the wounded and spent thing I was all those years ago.¡±

 Chapter 94: Acts of Honest Love

    <u>CW:</u>


    desire to return to an abuser, memoires of torture, little soul Jellyfish snuggling and trying to comfort. Self-deprecation and emotional self-harm. Um.... ALSO... there is only ONE more chappy after this before Arc THREE!!! AHHH!!!! Hope you''re all ready for the mupples!!!!


    Healing, not fixing.


    Wounded, not broken.


    Abused, not¡­ um¡­ punished or¡­ was that the word? She says I didn¡¯t deserve it but¡­


    I sigh as I glare down at all the lights and movement and just¡­ people. Thousands and thousands of souls just¡­ here now. Hundreds of little rooms linked together to form huge and winding places that took me forever to understand with my eyes and thought maps. In barely a decade my Watcher and Fae lovers took this wonderful place and just¡­ shared it. Wove it into something more wonderful that I could have ever imagined!


    Outpouring their everything to help others in ways they say was inspired by¡­ me. What they wished so much they had done before¡­. Before¡­


    Before I killed my Tretion and ruined everything.


    I hiss at the errant thought.


    No.


    I¡­ It¡­ it wasn¡¯t¡­. She¡­ she says it wasn¡¯t my fault! That I was cornered and pushed into reflexive¡­ um¡­ soul feasting in response to¡­ um¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits what''s the word?


    Growling, I shift and let my sea of eternal tendrils flex and flare out as I hang from the roof of this huge room. No one really can see me so far up and like¡­ honestly I can¡¯t care if I scare anyone. Because like¡­ they should be scared! I¡¯m the monster they just¨C


    "STOP. IT. Don¡¯t even think that!" I can almost hear Awnya¡¯s playfully forceful voice demanding. "Or I will personally and SLOWLY show you what a harmless girl you are when you''re safe and among those who adore you."


    Even up here, hanging from a ceiling so far above where anyone can find me, a blush overtakes my body as memories and desires that fubbles into my brain. Pushes away and smothers the word as such lucid phantom memory sensations flow through me.


    A single hand pinning my wrists to the wall above my head while her lips dance with mine, such a wonderful song hummed in hungry fury. Passing a loving melody to me through the kiss igniting our souls into a harmony of desire and¨C


    A rumble of greeting from the manor above and below and all around thrums through the taloned feet I grip the ceiling with.


    Caretaker calls


    Deeeeep breath, and another, and a murmur through the curse¡¯s sting a soft song in answer. A wordless thing conveying simple agreement.


    I can do this. The songs are so simple to me. The things Awnya shared were like¡­ mismatched versions of the blights I weave. Small and made in fear and caution for an ocean that would hurt her if she wasn¡¯t careful. But to me? Never. I STILL sometimes want to just¡­ go back. Especially when a day turns into such a¡­ a mess of desire for spiced warmth and painful emotions and¡­ and¡­


    And Echoes. Things just at the edge of perception. Shadows that make my Reaver¡¯s instincts twitch just before snapping from view.


    I quickly smother that thought and focus on the questions for today.


    Walk? Or¡­ take a door directly there?


    Flexing muscles and talons and all the flesh, I think¡­ walking will be good. Will let me consider the song a little more and like¡­ um¡­ Well I¡¯ll never tell Tretion this but the thrumming emotions of fear and worry that people will feel when they see me will help the song shape itself better.


    Something they really struggle to understand.


    Pain should have purpose. When it doesn¡¯t it just¡­ it¡¯s¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits I don¡¯t know!!! It just feels better when what hurts helps make other things work!


    So I eye a good like¡­ roof thing or balcony jutting from a wall, and kick free. Letting myself enjoy the rush of weightlessness as I fall toward the little city room thing below. Being Fae already made getting wounded from a fall really difficult to do, but after my training with¡­


    Them. The people I shouldn¡¯t consider right now.


    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    My landing is so soft and quiet none would hear my arrival. Then I slide down and leap a few more times until I¡¯m at the ground level and begin my walk through the twisting place Tretion and Awnya built. It''s as big as a ton of cities I¡¯ve seen only¡­ bordered by walls and a ceiling. With little seemingly source-less lights dotted all about.


    Well¡­ source-less to those without Amwella senses. Or¡­ um¡­ No, that''s not right. Even Tretion and Awnya can only just kinda see the bubbles swirling to weave light.


    I pull my soul close, sort of¡­making it become a wriggly mupple of nonsense that has to kinda trail behind me. Jellyfish snuggled close and napping happily as I move from the little empty hallway I dropped into and move out into the main bustling pathway.


    Most people initially ignore me. Just see me as another ugly girl in the crowd. But¡­ then a few people start to take notice, and my constantly growing soul senses seem to kinda¡­ read some of the stronger emotions. Nothing deeper but¡­ Yeah, this was a good idea.


    Or¡­ well I¡¯m not going to tell Tretion or Awnya why I walked. How I wanted to absorb ambient feelings or worry and fear and such to fuel the song they asked me to weave into the Blight songs they¡¯ve asked me to weave. But then my Jellyfish wake up and start to like¡­ wibble about. Confused and worried at the pain I¡¯m cultivated in my soul.


    I try to like¡­ shush and urge them back to slumber. Assure them everything is fine and that this is like¡­ needed. Important.


    A few seem to consider it, but¡­ a couple others just ignore me! Start to wiggle away and¡­ and before I can hook them all with tendrils one gets loose and finds one of the people obviously watching my Amwella in worry and just¡­ snuggles them!


    Radiating comforts and greetings and¡­ and promises of¡­ of snuggles of warmth if they just¡­ stop¡­ stop feeling the fear and worry!


    The woman balks but¡­ settles, and quite a few others in the crowd watching me wrestle my rebellious young close start to feel their souls shift to more curious things. Even¡­ even some find this silly and¡­ and¡­ even seem to smile and giggle a bit!


    I growl to myself and my family as I stomp over to the woman the one is snuggling and curl a tendril around it. Gently pulling the little traitor back to settle amongst the others. The person just¡­ stares at me as I grumble wordless sounding apologies, and I¡¯m sort of quickly walking away from the gathering curious crowd.


    About to hiss annoyances at the one that escaped but¡­ But its radiating such delight and cooing happily in memory for the snuggles it just got! I¡­ I kinda sputter out and can¡¯t help but feel my own thoughts twist to just¡­ how cute it is.


    Trying to help its mother.


    And I have to fight little prickling tears as I instead murmur soft thanks and love down at the wonderful little thing as I continue to push through the hallways. Give my family the softest of requests to please ask before doing that again but¡­ unable to chide more than that.


    Never wanting to like¡­ scold them for acts of honest love for me.


    That thought consumes me as I walk. The¡­ What? Why not? Isn¡¯t that stupid? Love is¡­ is¡­ I mean I can¡¯t hurt them with my blighted love but¡­ but¡­ and if they hurt me that¡¯s fine but¡­ then what about Awnya and Tretion?


    Circles. I¡¯m thinking in just¡­ big stupid loops again. Walking in them too. The manor wibbles a key into my hands at some point, and I pass the same pretty door at least twelve times now but¡­ but I can¡¯t stop!


    They said they¡¯re okay if they get hurt, because losing me would be worse. But¡­ What about me!?! I mean I deserve like¡­ worse but¡­ But If I hurt them I¡­ I can¡¯t¡­ I don¡¯t WANT to feel what would come next if¡­ if I¡­


    Jellyfish murmur and jabber worriedly for me. Nuzzle so close and radiate love and care.


    Need to fix this. Need¡­ something. Someone?


    But all I can think about is HER words from all those years ago...


    Jade eyes flared with such anger. ¡°Those humans loved you, your adopted mother loves you, even your Fae and Watcher mates loved you. But look how that love hurts you. For cruelty and spite and even by careless regard they have broken you time and time again.¡±


    I jolt to a halt. Looking down at myself. My still black-tipped talons and burn scarred skin as endless tendrils flail and whirl about in annoyed and furious patterns.


    Broken.


    She¡­ but didn¡¯t she WANT me broken? Just¡­ in different ways?


    Better ways! I hiss. Better than what the Fae wanted for me! She¡­ she gave me this! Scarred and hurt and¡­ and yes. Broken. But¡­ in a way that means I never have to give up my form or songs!


    My tongue weighs so heavy as cold terror gathers about my heart.


    But¡­ but she took my tongue after letting her Reavers try and ravage me.


    I shake my head, closing my eyes and growling at the¡­ the¡­


    I could still sing though! Better than before even! Didn¡¯t need any stupid Fae words to¡­ to muck up my songs anyway!


    I open my eyes and look down at my still scarred and burned talon and arm.


    Sent Bulderii to¡­ to tell Raska I was Fae. Let her burn me and¡­ and never once tried to have me heal my flesh. Seemed almost¡­ almost pleased with how much it hurt me and reminded me of that. Would drag clawed hands down the burns while she sunk teeth into my flesh and her weird tendrils into my¨C


    I turn to glare down into the shard in my soul. Knowing she¡¯s heard like¡­ everything. All the little thoughts and questions and¡­ and¡­ I mean I should tell Awnya and Tretion about it. But¡­ They¡¯d be so upset and¡­ and maybe angry and¡­ and try and take it out!


    So instead I just¡­ think my thoughts right into it¡­


    I¡­ You showed me time and time again that you DO NOT love me. But¡­ A pause, a flurry of quickening heartbeats as I feel tears prickle then. Wh¨C Why couldn¡¯t you love me? I¡­ would it have been so hard? So bad?


    No answer comes, and¡­ and I can¡¯t help the fury that begins to bubble up in me at the shard¡¯s silence.


    ANSWER ME!!! I snarl wordlessly at the dark silhouette in the heart of my Amwella.


    No reply. Nothing. No tearing of her Riftwalking or¡­ or spice scent to herald her arrival. Just¡­ silence punctuated by this stupid little monster''s sniffling sobs. And¡­ and then a horrid terror overtakes me.


    Fear that I¡¯ve¡­ I¡¯ve ruined myself. That she doesn¡¯t want me anymore.


    Pl¨C Please. I beg. Just¡­ just tell me I messed up and you hate me and¡­ and you want me as far away as possible. Or let me¡­ let me try and fix this. Maybe I can get out? W¨C would you take me back then? I¡¯m¡­ I don¡¯t¡­ Feeling and thinking is hard and¡­ and I hate it!


    Can¡­ Can¡¯t you just¡­ ?


    Jellyfish snuggle so close. Jibbering and cooing love as their mother feels her heart break all over again. Almost¡­ almost trying to tell me¡­ something. Begin to hum their own little songs of happy adorations for me and Tretion and Awnya and this really nice manor. Even¡­ even seem to like others they¡¯ve met! Nelops and a few whose names didn¡¯t really matter to them but¡­


    ¡°B¨C but.¡± I whisper aloud. Stammering both to them and also myself. ¡°I pro¨C pr¨C pro¨C missed. M¨C my Ev¨C er¨C Ey¨C th¨C thing T¨C to¨C to Thendra.¡±


    First time I¡¯ve spoken her name in¡­ in so long. Years and years.


    They don¡¯t care. Just nuzzle closer and radiate delight for this place while muppling little pleas to stay here. To never leave and¡­ and stop thinking and feeling things that hurt me?


    ¡°Oke. oke.¡± I huff and wrap my little clutch close. Just¡­ so overwhelmed by them. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ll t¨C try.¡±


    Wiping my eyes of the tears, I look up and about for the door the manor¡¯s been kinda nagging at me to go through for the past¡­ Well, however long I''ve been walking around. Honestly surprised no one came looking for me.


    Deeeep breaths as I lean into my jellyfish''s bubbling affections. Bask in their love and such calm delight as my thoughts drift to the woman Tretion needed to invite to this.


    I can do this. She shouldn''t like¡­ need to do anything today. Tretion promised she¡¯s just there in case of an emergency. Won¡¯t even be talking to me. Just¡­ Filling her role as duenna if something mucks up.


    If I mess up.


    NO! I hiss as I begin to reach out toward the door with the little stone key the manor gave me. She wasn¡¯t thinking that. Tretion just¡­ she¡¯s really cautious and smart. This is scary and weird and¡­ and she¡¯s never even thought to try this. Never ever considered it!!!


    A click-clack, and the door opens. Washing me with such an¡­ a strange smell and sounds. Mostly of gurgling bubble nonsense from the manor but¡­ also voices. Ahead of me is a big chamber boarded by cold stone covered in quietly pulsing glyphs, and filling it is an ocean of wiggly bubbles.


    ¡°Hey girl!¡± Comes my Fae¡¯s cheerful voice as she steps around a swirl of the mess.

 Chapter 95: To Break a Reaver

    <u>CW:</u>


    AAAAHHHHH!!! Welcome to the END of Arc 2!!!! Thoughts of abuse and sexual assault and trauma and fear of children suffering the same or worse. Blight Weaving and snuggles. Burns/scars itching and hurting.


    And... at the end of it all. A Reaver is Broken.


    ¡°How ya doing?¡±


    What took you so long?


    I ignore the¡­ that. Let my clutch snuggle that stupid thought away. She''s not thinking that!


    I sigh and shrug, trying to give her my best and most easy smile as I nuzzle my Jellyfish closer.


    ¡°Yeah. Honestly? Same.¡± She smiles back as she steps up to me. ¡°Would very much rather be in bed right now.¡±


    I nod and close the distance, pull her into a hug. She returns the embrace without hesitation. And after too short of a pause of silence, she murmurs softly. ¡°You can still say no.¡±


    I just¡­ grumble wordlessly.


    She chuckles in a way that¡¯s meant to seem carefree but¡­ even without focusing on her soul I can see all the wibbles of worry about this.


    ¡°We can just¡­ close this all up.¡± She continues. ¡°Go see if Pytara would cook us a nice meal again, then go for a walk through the new gardens, maybe take a swim, then head back to bed for¡­ maybe a less than restful evening?¡±


    I pull back and fix her with my most stubborn and confident look as she trails off. Thrum and growl disapprovals.


    ¡°No words for me?¡± She smirks, and it almost cracks my will immediately.


    I sigh and look down and away. Focusing on¡­ on¡­ what to say and how to form the words.


    ¡°Imm¨C Imm¨C Portant.¡± I finally murmur.


    She shrugs, moves hands up and down my sides. ¡°Sure. But there¡¯s not like¡­ any rush. You¡¯ve only been here a few months. This can wait.¡±


    ¡°W¨C Want to.¡± I whisper.


    ¡°Want to¡­ what?¡± She purrs softly. ¡°Head off and enjoy the day with me?¡±


    I huff and shake my head. Gesture past her.


    ¡°Huh? What?¡± She prompts, feinting misunderstanding.


    I do turn up to glare at her then. It¡¯s not really anything serious but¡­ her smile does falter.


    ¡°Eh¡­¡± She sighs. ¡°I¡¯m pushing too hard, aren¡¯t I?¡±


    I nod.


    She just¡­ It bothers and worries her so much how I¡­ I don¡¯t talk or sing with Fae words. Has all but told me how much she yearns to hear my melodies shift into softer things and¡­ and more normal Songcraft of her kind.


    ¡°Yeah. Sorry. You¡¯re right.¡± She moves a soft hand up my neck and to my cheek and hair and¡­ and¡­ I lean into her touch. Murmur acceptance and forgiveness. Could just¡­ stand here until the Dream¡¯s End enjoying my Fae¡¯s loving affections. Have to fight so hard to keep my soul and clutch from reaching out and sweeping her Amwella into my embrace. But¡­ I promised to help Tretion today, and I¡¯m stalling.


    So with a great mupple of a sigh I pull back, move to make our touch just involve hand and talon and¡­ Oh.


    A few of my Jellyfish DID move to nuzzle her and seem to happily snooze against Awnya¡¯s soul now! I can¡¯t help but stop and just¡­ grin at that. Feel such a rush of¡­ of somethings as my Fae looks down to notice the little passengers her soul carries. Finds that perfect smirk again as her Amwella melts a bit to hold them close.


    ¡°Can I eh¡­ Will they be okay with me for now?¡± She asks. Thrumming with such¡­ Such hope.


    I nod.


    She¡¯s all but overwhelmed by that. My Fae suddenly and so happily sharing warmth and love with my children once again. Her Soulflame¡¯s thrum distracting me all the way up until we step around a mound of swirling bubbles and spot them.


    The Matron of the Manor, our Tretion. Our watcher.


    And¡­ and her newest and most capable duenna.


    Everflame Raska.


    Standing next to and above one of the most odd doors the manor¡¯s ever produced. A strange¡­ well I think it¡¯s circle shaped. It¡¯s hard to tell and kinda hurts my eyes to try and like¡­ look at it. Covered in twisting designs that seem to carve in impossible ways and disappear when your perspective shifts. Looks like it¡¯s going down already despite being shut.


    ¡°Beloved.¡± Tretion is the first to see us, moves around the weird door and pulls me into a hug. ¡°How¡¯re you this afternoon?¡±


    I huff and try to give her a smile that brims with confidence I only just barely feel. Is fast draining as I work very hard to ignore the girl standing off and away. Feel... fell the burns twitch and itch in anxious flutters of pain as I sense her blaze of a soul and gaze.


    I¡¯m sure Tretion sees right through me but¡­ she returns my smile anyway. ¡°Is there anything we can get you? Food or drink or¡­¡±


    I shake my head, letting soul tendrils begin to spread out and stretch. Careful to avoid my lover¡¯s as they slap and prod at the maybe bubbles all around.


    ¡°There¡¯s no rush, and I still have so many tests and calculations I can run.¡± Tretion continues. ¡°This really isn¡¯t a thing we should even attempt until¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I¡¯m able to murmur in one try as I pull back. Move to release hands. ¡°Wh¨C want to h¨C he help.¡±


    She nods. ¡°I know. But this¡­ it¡¯s¡­ well I¡¯ve told you a dozen times all the dangers it entails.¡±


    ¡°N¨C need.¡± I reply and step around her to regard the door. Stare at it directly.


    ¡°Hey let¡¯s¡­ you don¡¯t need to dive right in.¡± Awnya protests.


    ¡°O¨C over faster.¡± I whisper, glance back over my shoulder to them. ¡°Open.¡±


    Tretion purses her lips, but nods as she repeats the plans once again. ¡°We¡¯re going to start small. Let in just a little that the manor will dissolve quickly if you can¡¯t. That way the worst that can happen are a few Blightburns that can be easily healed.¡±


    It took a few weeks and a mix of words both written and forced out but¡­ I told them about my beloved sea. How easy and happy and perfect swimming amidst the Rot and Ruin was. They seemed to thrum with a ton of emotions as I shared the story of finding and adopting my clutch of Jellyfish before returning to Theradas.


    And apparently¡­ there was something else my mother and Awnya hadn¡¯t shared with me. It¡­ it was to protect me. To keep me safe from Fae who at the time weren¡¯t hunting me but¡­ it still hurts to find another secret kept from me.


    My Amwella¡¯s ability to restore and recover after a night of rest. Apparently most people can¡¯t do that, and while Fae souls heal quicker than most¡­ mine is unbelievably fast. Awnya said she noticed it on that first night with her before swearing herself to secrecy with a song that bound her.


    So the question was¡­ How? How did my Amwella restore itself so quickly? I didn¡¯t absorb like¡­ passive Dream heat like others. Didn''t start drinking souls till after Awnya had seen me do this. So¡­ what¡¯s being used to fuel my recovery?


    And that¡¯s where our Tretion¡¯s brilliance shown so bright. Puzzling this all together long before I got here.


    My soul, my Amwella, somehow¡­ impossibly, always remains just a little connected to the sea of blight. Is, if her theory was correct, able to turn the Rot and Ruin of the Dead Dreamer into warm soulflame.


    I don¡¯t understand it. Not just the how but¡­ why that¡¯s a good thing that made them both so amazed and like¡­ proud? Enthralled even. So much I had to like¡­ pull free of their souls and have a nice little cry all by myself with my clutch of Jellyfish snuggling close.


    So overwhelmed by the love that just doesn¡¯t seem to have an end, but keeps growing and changing and¡­ and enveloping new parts of me without hesitation.


    No matter how horrid or scary.


    Tretion¡¯s soul pulses with trepidation, and Awnya¡¯s flitters in a little worry but¡­ soon my Jellyfish¡¯s happy coos of slumber settle that. And after a few deep breaths, Tretion speaks the command.


    Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.


    Ugly words, twisting magical¡­ things sound from our watcher¡¯s lips, and the manor hums an acknowledgement in reply. The door creaks and shifts, like some odd puzzle of nonsense that seems more like sinking sand than stone or wood, and a little maw seems to open just a little.


    Leaking in Blight.


    A nearly unnoticeable sting from my old curse, and I¡¯m hissing a growl of resonance to the little bit of the sea swirling before me. Giggling even as I welcome and reach out to curl fingers around and through the gorgeous mixture of color and perfect wiggles.


    Can¡¯t help but just¡­ Breath in the Rot.


    Take in the Ruin.


    Feel the Blight settle and burn away all the nonsense. Smother all the pain and memory and past of¨C


    But¡­ no. NO. I can stop that. Easily¡­ actually. Just¡­ let it pass over and through as I consider a question.


    In the space between heartbeats.


    Basking in the Overture before the crescendo of the song.


    ¡­ What comes next?


    I¡­ I don¡¯t know. That fills me with such fear as I peer down at the writhing mass of wonderful glowing light I¡¯m holding in the maybe parts of my Amwella. I thought I would just try and weave the blight into warm Dreamflame but...


    Is that what I want?


    I could make little bubbles like the manor. Pure potential like Tretion says it is. Craft formless Soulwaste for it to weave into whatever. But¡­ Something about that pricks at me. Feels¡­ wrong. Not bad just¡­ Small? Barely a good thing to shape with my songs and this pretty stuff. Like... almost like I''m breaking a promise?


    Or maybe¡­ but¡­ like¡­ Tretion seemed so enthralled as I gushed the other day about the home I crafted in the Dead Dreamer¡¯s wood. Apparently that place is riven with the Blight and to weave anything I¡¯d have to use it.


    What to do? What to do? What to do?


    So I turn to my two wonderful lovers, hum a very soft question into the melody as I stall its end.


    What should I make with this?


    They¡¯re both just staring. Eyes so wide. Tretion¡¯s expression is a sort of awed anticipation, and Awnya is one of sheer pride and disbelief and probably more things I¡¯d sense better if I held her soul.


    But I don¡¯t want this little blight to hurt her so I just¡­ wait for them to answer.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± Awnya huffs and chuckles. ¡°That¡­ Wow. Okay.¡±


    ¡°What can you make?¡± Tretion moves carefully forward, then murmurs softer incantations to request the door close. Lets me gather up all the blight before settling beside me.


    I kinda¡­ wibble some things into the song. Objects and things I think I can weave this into. They both seem quickly overwhelmed, surprised at all the things I¡¯m listing out.


    ¡°How about we keep this simple?¡± Awnya offers. ¡°Can you make some clear spring water? Like we shared back in the Fae wood?¡±


    Tretion murmurs. ¡°Is that so simple a thing to¨C¡±


    But before the words pass our watcher¡¯s lips I¡¯ve swirled the mass of vibrantly hued nonsense into a floating orb of clear blue water. Even asked the manor to weave me a pot from the Soulwaste around us for it.


    The manor rumbles agreement. Then Tretion gasps and Awnya sputters out as the water plops down into the freshly made container.


    I lean forward, take a handful to sip before either can protest.


    Perfect.


    ¡°Is¡­¡± Tretion¡¯s eyes glimmer and glow bright as she looks into the pot. Then whispers. ¡°Not even a hint of Blight.¡±


    Awnya chuckles as she falls back to lean on her palms. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits. This¡­ this¡­¡±


    ¡°How are you?¡± Tretion rolls eyes up and down my body and soul while I watch them both with a sort of¡­ nervous confusion. ¡°How much did this cost you to do?¡±


    ¡°N¨C nn¨C none?¡± I murmur. ¡°J¨C just s¨C song.¡±


    Awnya''s laugh only grows in delight as she sits up, leans down to take a sip herself. Then lets out such a soft sigh of delight. ¡°Wow. This¡­ Lyra this is literally the best drink I¡¯ve had in years. Tastes so fresh!¡±


    I fight back a blush and look down and away.


    ¡°Awnya, can you please double check her?¡± Tretion murmurs, wiping her eyes and letting the glow of Amwella sight fade.


    Tired in ways she never would have been a decade ago and with the soul I crushed and devoured and¨C


    Our Fae interrupts the spiral by having me stand and stretch. Checking body and soul and even my Jellyfish over multiple times before surrendering fully to her grin of pride that sings through her Amwella.


    ¡°Perfect, as always.¡± She hums, pausing to draw a finger slowly up my neck to my jaw. ¡°Not even a hint of drain or Blight from what I can see!¡±


    ¡°C¨C Can¡¯t Hurrr¨C t me.¡± I murmur. ¡°T¨C Told you.¡±


    ¡°That you did.¡± She grins and places a pecking kiss on my nose.


    ¡°This¡­ Lyra, would you be willing to try out a few more things? Weave objects and such from the Blight?¡± Our watcher asks.


    ¡°Y- yes?¡± I nod. Still embarrassed and a bit confused as to like¡­ why all this matters. Why does this make them so happy? Awnya can go get anything I could weave with a quick Riftwalk out and back.


    A few more tests, and soon the floor is littered with such an odd assortment of things. From really simple food things to some rocks and other objects. Nothing really special but¡­ with every weaving my Fae and Watcher grow more and more awestruck and excited.


    Even when my latest creation comes out wrong and ugly they just¡­ marvel at it for a bit.


    ¡°This is so amazing.¡± Awnya shakes her head, ¡°Truly girl, this¡­ just¡­ wow.¡±


    I tilt my head, finally feeling like I have a question worth forming. ¡°Wh¨C why? U¨Cugly a¨C an¨C and wro¨C w¨C wrong.¡±


    ¡°Beloved, this¡­ what you''re doing should be impossible.¡± Tretion scoots up to pull me close now that all the Blight has been woven into something safe.


    ¡°Wha?¡± I blubber as I both try and lean into her warm embrace while also trying to give her a look of confusion. ¡°B¨C but, ea¨C easy?¡±


    She smiles and kisses me on the head. ¡°Apparently. And that just¡­ adds so much more brilliance to your workings.¡±


    ¡°Lyra you¡­ Other Fae dedicate their lives to this.¡± Awnya¡¯s expression shifts a bit. Still all thrumming pride and love but¡­ wibbling to carry a tint of worry. ¡°Tilling Blighted Rifts. Cleaning the rot from their shores and coaxing the Hearthfires to blaze bright through them.¡±


    ¡°H¨C hear¨C hearth¨C fires?¡±


    ¡°Mhm, kinda¡­ Songwoven things at the center of the Fae woods. They¡¯re what keep the Rot and Ruin back.¡±


    ¡°Oke?¡±


    ¡°For most Fae weaving just a little Blight is more a¡­ a smothering. Burning it away. There are ashes that can be used for things like gardening, but that¡¯s it. And the Blight tends to have rotted away so much by then that we still lose out in the trade.¡± She tip-taps the ugly rock I wove on the cold stone floor. ¡°But Dreamer¡¯s Tits you¡­ you just¡­ turn the Blight into something new! Something solid and real and¡­ and¡­¡±


    She trails off. So awestruck by her own spoken revelations.


    ¡°But¡­ B¨C bubbles?¡± I murmur and wave about the room.


    Tretion nuzzles me close. ¡°That¡¯s similar but¡­ it takes a long while to make even a single one. The reason we¡¯re swimming in abundance is because for centuries no one could convince our manor to weave anything from them. So it¡¯s been building up a stockpile. One that we find fast diminishing with all the people we¡¯re housing.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­.¡± I mumble. Then I nearly shout in surprise. ¡°OH!¡±


    Tretion laughs, and it¡¯s probably one of the best sounds in the Dream. ¡°If this really doesn¡¯t produce a strain or wear on your soul then¡­ well¡­ You can easily replenish most of what we use throughout the year in a few weeks.¡±


    Then they will never have to leave to resupply the manor.


    The thought stops my rising happiness cold, and both my lovers so easily read the horror that crosses my face. Tretion must say something to Raska, because I feel more than seeing the guardian who has been stoic and silent pull away and leave the room.


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Awnya whispers and pulls close as she spots the muck rumbling through my thoughts. ¡°You alright?¡±


    I¡¯ll never see her again.


    I hesitate, then shake my head as the weight of that just¡­ drops on me.


    Before they¡­ I mean¡­ I didn¡¯t realize how I¡¯d¡­ how them needing supplies might need they¡¯d have to ask me to go with them and¡­ and how¡­ how if I wanted they couldn¡¯t really stop me from¡­ from¡­


    ¡°Can we help?¡± Tretion whispers.


    From what? What would I do?


    I speak so softly. ¡°Wh¨C want¡­ want¡­ Th¨C Th¨C Then¡­¡±


    Can¡¯t say her name. Not now. Not after everything they¡¯ve given me.


    ¡°N¨C nn¨C never s¨C see h¨Cher ag¨Cagin.¡± I squeeze my eyes shut as horrible trembling sobs overwhelm me.


    ¡°Oh¡­ oh beloved.¡± Our watcher pulls me ever closer as her tendrils move to hug us all together.


    ¡°S¨C sorry.¡± Is the only word I can let slip from my lips between the shivering little sounds I begin to make.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Our Fae comforts. ¡°It¡¯s okay girl. We¡­ I mean¡­ We¡­ We get it. At least a little bit.¡±


    How can they!?! I¡¯m stupid and broken and¡­ and don¡¯t deserve them! That¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s why I gave myself to HER! Because no one else wanted me! And¡­ and because I hurt them both so much and¡­ and¡­ and¡­ but I¡¯ll hurt them so much if I leave and¡­ and¡­


    Circles.


    I¡¯m thinking in circles.


    Big stupid loops that never end.


    Jellyfish join in the snuggles as my lovers hold me so close. Coo their own little comforting songs for their wretched mother alongside Awnya and Traditions'' soft affirmations and support.


    ¡°Wh¨C why?¡± I whisper through the sobbing pain. ¡°Am M¨C mon¨C monster. W¨C want her. St¨C still. Pl¨C please. Pl¨C pl¨C pl¨C L¨C Llll¨C let mmm¨C me go.¡±


    Please let me go. Don¡¯t let me blight another second of your happiness.


    ¡°Because she¡¯s a blighted cunt who abused you into thinking you only deserve her.¡± Awnya hisses with all the love and patience of the Dream behind her words. Layers so many soft kisses across my hair. ¡°But she¡¯s wrong, Lyra.¡±


    NO! They¡­ they¡¯re wrong! Stupid and¡­ but not¡­ I just¡­


    ¡°You deserve so much more, Beloved.¡± Tretion insists. ¡°And even if it takes till Dream¡¯s End we¡¯re going to show you that.¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C why?¡± I hiss.


    ¡°Because we love you.¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C wh¨C Why? Wh¨C Why L¨C lo¨C ove m¨C me?¡±


    Tretion leans down and around to try and meet my gaze. ¡°Because we want to, and because we find you such a wonderful delight. We see all the beauty that is in your heart and soul and mind, and want to watch you find happiness. Hope so dearly we can be a part of that.¡±


    Soul weaves about them tighter, and their Amwella sings of¡­ of only a perfect reflection of her words. More even. A thrum of things, words and even Fae songs can never match.


    ¡°B¨C but¡­¡±


    All others will scorn and ravage you.


    Her promise to me.


    Spoken on the night I just¡­ I gave in. Broke and Bound my will to her rather than die or¡­ or be alone again in my wretched woods. Surrendering my everything to a monster.


    The¡­ the only woman who ever kept me.


    But¡­ that changed? Awnya found me. Would have come back and maybe even stayed with me?


    Jellyfish nuzzle close as I feel something crack under the weight of all this love. All these souls that coo and thrum and sing in nothing but¡­ but such strong affections. Only desire to see me happy and healing.


    And¡­ but then Thendra cut the soulflame she gifted from my Amwella! Left me a wretched sobbing thing instead of letting me keep even a sliver of her love. Threatened her and¡­ and sent Twital to... To¡­ To rape me!?!


    I¡¯m hissing now. Spitting and¡­ and growling and¡­ and such a horrid gurgling thing thrums from my lips.


    ¡°Beloved?¡± My Tretion murmurs so softly. ¡°It¡¯s okay. We¡¯re here. What do you need?¡±


    Wanted me to kill or enslave this wonderful watcher just¡­ just so she could use me as her Reaver! Never warned me of the waking nightmares that would blight me! Even¡­ even seemed so unbothered or¡­ or glad when I had to come tumbling back to her after one drove me to eat Tretion¡¯s soul!!!


    Lovers try to calm me. But I can¡¯t really hear them over this low angry growl I feel splitting from my mind and soul and lips.


    And was so happy to ravage my body and soul these past years. Never once offered even a hint of love! Just¡­ physical pleasure while my mind and body drowned in the despair she called perfect!


    Pushing crying Jellyfish into my lovers Amwella¡¯s accepting tendrils, I growl for them to stay with Awnya and Tretion while I do this as I pull my soulfire free of them all.


    THENDRA!!! I scream into the dark shard deep within my soul. ANSWER ME!!!


    Nothing.


    Come back to the gate! I spit into the muck of my soul. I¡¯ll MAKE Tretion let you talk to me!


    I pause, try so hard to ignore the bumble of worried and confused lovers and jellyfish behind me. Only turn to look at my watcher directly.


    Waiting.


    But¡­ nothing. No sign in our watcher¡¯s soul that my Dark Goddess came back.


    I growl and gurgle. WHY!?! Why should I come back to you? Why did¡­ Why couldn¡¯t you love me? How do these wonderful women and literal Jellyfish of the Blight adore me but¡­ but you can¡¯t!?!


    Still nothing.


    I gave you my EVERYTHING!!! But¡­ but you couldn¡¯t? Not even a little? A sliver of love would have... made me¡­


    The tears freely flow as I stare down at the body I let her tear and Reave.


    I¡­


    Burns seem to¡­ to roil and pulse while tongue sits heavy in my mouth. Curse on my flank almost¡­ almost seems to cut deep into my soul despite the lack of song.


    I¡­ even after all that I¡­


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Awnya whispers. But¡­ Tretion touches her with a hand. Is¡­ She seems to understand, somehow, that this is something I need to do alone.


    I¡­ I still want you to be my everything. I still love you. But¡­ but I can¡¯t leave them. And¡­


    Eyes fall on my Jellyfish.


    My children.


    And a horrid thought flickers into my mind.


    They''re here now. REAL to everyone else like they¡¯ve been to me for years. Can be touched and snuggled by others. That means they can be¡­ could¡­ could be hurt or snatched away!


    And she has to know that now too.


    What would you do to them?


    All the wretched and horrid and terrible things jolt through me in an instant. Flashes of the torments she laid upon me just¡­ given to them. A way to twist them into¡­ into¡­


    No. I growl. You¡¯d hurt them!


    Just.


    Like.


    You.


    Always.


    Hurt.


    Me.


    Another part of my something cracks audibly. Soul tails whip-snap like some sudden storm rolled through my soul at the realization. Walls erected to protect my mind and soul from those kinds of thoughts tumbling down and down as I stare at my beloved family.


    That¡¯s all you ever did to me. Even¡­ even when¡­ even the sex. It was just feeding.


    Using me.


    I¡­ Was I ever not your slave?


    Your tool?


    Did you ever give me anything that didn¡¯t serve your needs?


    Ever¡­ ever give up something to just¡­ try and show me a hint of affections or love?


    ¡°Dr¨C Dree¨C amers.¡± I huff as the answer hits me like a physical blow. The realization causes me to stumble, just¡­ fall to plop down where I¡¯d jerked free of the women and children who love me so much it hurts. ¡°Ti¨C TITS!!!¡±


    No.


    ¡°Beloved?¡± Our watcher shifts, moves to awkwardly shift my children and herself closer. ¡°What do you need?¡±


    I flinch fully as my Amwella sight locks onto her.


    She¡¯s¡­ she¡¯s so amazing. So perfect. Full of brilliance and affections and steadfast determinations.


    Our wondrous Watcher.


    Awnya moves up to her side. ¡°Lyra I¡­ You know I adore snuggling with these little cuties but they''re kinda scared and really want their mom right now.¡±


    And our Fae, my Awnya. Such a¡­ a wondrous wellspring of unending joy and love.


    I can¡¯t help but smile as I sense them all without even needing to look back. Turn to nod furiously and reach out to take them all into my arms and tendrils. Basking once again in the flood of love they so easily bleed for me.


    My family.


    ¡°Th¨Cthis.¡± I whisper. ¡°A¨C all this. Th¨Cthank y¨C you b¨C both. W¨Cwant to stay. Pl¨C please.¡±


    ¡°Always and Forever, my beloved.¡± Tretion thrums with nothing by wiggles of support and affections from her head tendrils. Sensing so easily that something just changed.


    After only a brief pause our wonderful Fae adds. ¡°Both until and beyond this Dream¡¯s End.¡±


    Then, more than ever before, I am home.

 Chapter 96: Waiting for a Faes Fury

    Arc 3: To Break a Blight Weaver


    <u>CW:</u>


    Welcome to Arc threeeeeeeeee! Tretion POV followed swiftly byyyyyy Awnya POV! WOOPS!!! Talks of abuse, trauma, and salacious snuggles if self-deprecating. Thoughts of child abuse and eventual murder, disabilities, and trouble talking.


    The first thing I notice about my guardian when she enters the workshop is the hand-shaped bruise marring her otherwise perfect cheek.


    ¡°Duenna Raska, Is everything alright?¡± I ask as she pauses at the corner of the worktable.


    Cerulean eyes flicker up to mine, and she tilts her head in confusion. ¡°What?¡±


    I point to the side of my cheek to match the mark on hers.


    She reaches up to touch the spot, winces and curses in her Blaze¡¯s secret language, and waits as her flame dips down to weave the minor wound healed.


    Everflame magic has been such an interesting thing to idly discover the details of. Each Cinderkin who claims their spark, which in and of itself takes an irrational guile, must then slowly and deftly coax unique incantations and words from the newfound Blaze. The sparks themselves are alive and quite intelligent but¡­ limited in their perceptions until they are mantled or mantle a Cinderkin. Often trading memories or Amwella for them, and even sometimes control of the body and soul they now inhabit.


    ¡°Apologies.¡± Raska rasps and looks past me.


    I sigh and stand up from my work to regard her. ¡°Anything you would like to talk about?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not a threat to the manor.¡± She shrugs and looks away.


    ¡°I assumed not, otherwise you would have told me straight away.¡± My headstalks wriggle in consideration of her mood. ¡°But this seems to bother you quite deeply. I¡¯m simply offering to listen if you need someone to speak to. It¡¯s not like you to leave a wound unattended.¡±


    Her flame eyes dance and blaze in a tangle of emotions I¡¯m only just barely able to read.


    It took barely a month of time, and meeting her ¡®girls¡¯, for my fury at Raska to dull and dissolve to comfortable companionship. Pair that with her quick wit, raw charm, and quite impressive skills with her Everspark and I can regard her with nothing but gratitude. She is the kind of guardian that my own Grandmother would have sputtered in disbelief at one of her brood gaining the absolute loyalty of.


    It... also doesn¡¯t help that she is so much like my Beloved Bound. A girl born in the wrong flesh, and filled to bursting with nothing but compassion and furious love for those that accept her.


    And also, I think, a little like me. Raised by those who pushed and drove us to not only indulge, but drown in cruelty and malicious hunger for evermore power. Only¡­ we turned against that. Now spend our everything to instead try and heal the blighted spaces left by our elders'' cruelty.


    ¡°No¡­¡± She huffs, and her little flame even wiggles in sway with the motion. ¡°I just¡­ So¡­ Remember how I asked you not to tell my girls about Lyra being here?¡±


    ¡°I do.¡±


    Such an odd request, but made clear when I remembered that Raska mentioned that Lyra had gotten close to a few of her companions. Can easily surmise how both parties might find only pain if they tried to seek her out.


    ¡°Well¡­ I guess¡­¡± She curses again. ¡°Fuck. I guess this is something I should tell you anyway. Sorry just¡­ Still working through it.¡±


    ¡°Take your time.¡± I offer and move around the table. ¡°Or better yet, take a seat. I¡¯ll get us some drinks while you gather up the words.¡±


    ¡°Thanks, Matron Tretion.¡± Raska nods gratefully. A noticeable stress draining from her limbs and flame.


    I¡¯ve considered asking her to drop the title, at least in private, but¡­ No. As my first duenna we need to keep this formal. At least for a few more years. I can¡¯t allow anything beyond this to risk forming. I¡¯ll not let wild affections muddle my judgments.


    Once we¡¯re settled, and Raska¡¯s taken a few sips of the Springwine, I carefully poke at what I¡¯ve puzzled together. ¡°One of your companions saw Lyra.¡±


    She takes a deep breath, and nods. ¡°Yeah. Sorry. She¡­ she¡¯s wanted to get away from me for a while now. But¡­ back in our old Rift there wasn¡¯t really a safe place for her to go to. But this manor is nothing but safe. So, she up and moved like¡­ two days after our arrival here. I didn¡¯t even think anything of it at the time since Lyra was still staying in your corner of the manor.¡±


    ¡°But now my beloved is exploring,¡± I murmur.


    ¡°Yeah, and¡­ Sevy saw her. I¡¯m not sure when, but¡­ when I went to check in on her she told me and was upset enough to¡­ um¡­¡± She points to her face.


    ¡°Ah.¡± I pause to consider my next words. I¡¯ve not felt the need to sting Raska with them since those first few weeks, and I¡¯d rather avoid carelessly adding to what is obviously an emotional storm inside her. ¡°What is her regard toward Lyra?¡±


    Raska slumps, hard. ¡°She loves her. Was¡­ She¡¯s been so mad at me ever since I fucked up. Never once¡­ Matron, I don¡¯t think she¡¯s forgiven any of us for¡­ for what happened. Especially me, that¡¯s obvious, but even the others. Hates them for¡­ for not trying harder to stop me from hurting Lyra.¡±


    I let my Headstalks shrug for me as I lean back. ¡°Then¡­ well¡­ Lyra knows of your companion¡¯s presence here, and so long as none of them mean any harm then there is little to be done. Lyra hasn¡¯t mentioned running into anyone who upset her, and if this girl seeks her out¡­ It¡¯ll hurt. But she¡¯s fast as the wind and isn¡¯t likely to find herself cornered. If Lyra decides she wants to interact she can on her terms.¡±


    Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.


    Raska takes a breath, a sharp thing but¡­ I can¡¯t help but wince at what those last words have prompted in her.


    The question. One she is Oathbound from resolving without my explicit permission.


    She doesn¡¯t speak it, but the wound it¡¯s leaving on her soul flares so hard even her flame wriggles in fury.


    ¡®Can I speak to her? Can I apologize to the girl I¡­ I loved and betrayed and abandoned and burned?¡¯


    I reach out and take up my first guardian''s stone laden fingers, giving them a squeeze. ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°But¡­¡± Raska whispers, voice more of a rasp than I¡¯ve ever heard. ¡°She¡­ Could it help? Even a little? She¡­ for her to know that¡­ that she didn¡¯t do anything wrong and¡­ that I¡¯m¡­¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ve told her all this, but she still doesn¡¯t want to speak with you.¡± I reply softly but firmly. ¡°Even being in the same room with you is such a strain.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ what I did¡­¡± Her voice is such a pained growl now, but not at me. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t hearing it from my lips be better?¡±


    I sigh and squeeze her fingers again. ¡°She¡¯s still healing from so much worse than what you did. What happened was simply¡­ a calculated trauma laid upon her after years of horrid abuse.¡±


    She seems to sag further as her shoulders shake in sadness. ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡¯m sorry. We¡¯ve been over all this before. I shouldn¡¯t ask. ¡±


    ¡°Duenna Raska,¡± I sigh. ¡°You can ask me until Dream¡¯s End, even though you know I¡¯ll tell you the moment she¡¯s ready.¡±


    ¡°But¡­¡± Such a haunted look overtakes her face. ¡°What if¡­ what if she never does? I just¡­ What if my words could crack something? She¡¯s still not healed the burns. Even after restoring her tongue.¡±


    I know my Headstalks wriggle in worry and sadness in mimicry to my duenna''s words. She¡¯s also left the bitemarks. Such¡­ such wretched and ugly things left riven across her burned flesh. I¡­ I¡¯ve pressured Awnya not to bother Lyra about them. No matter how much she desires to.


    I sigh and shake my head. ¡°That¡¯s not how this works. Even if you''re right, the physical wounds are¡­ symbols. Almost¡­ almost precious to her in the horrid way only a former slave can value their scars. Right now she¡¯s scared of you, terrified and guilt-ridden and horribly confused. What she needs, we think, is to be angry. To turn that self-hatred for what she sees as her mistakes into fury at what you did to her. Then¡­ I think, she¡¯ll want to speak with you. But it won¡¯t be to let you apologize, it¡¯ll be to scream and rage at you for what you did.¡±


    Raska smiles in such a painful way. ¡°I¡­ yeah. I hope she gets there soon. She deserves that.¡±


    Those words crack something in her, so much that she takes up her drink and begins to sip thoughtfully.


    ¡°I¡­ Thank you. Matron Tretion.¡± She eventually murmurs. ¡°I don¡¯t deserve any of that, but¡­ thank you for offering it.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re welcome.¡± I reply and release her hand, taking a few more sips as well.


    We sit for a few more heartbeats, and just as I consider rising Raska simply blurts out.


    ¡°Is she like that with Thendra?¡±


    I quirk an eyebrow as my headstalks sway in consideration. ¡°Angry?¡±


    Raska nods.


    ¡°Sometimes, we think.¡± I murmur, settling again. ¡°It comes and goes.¡±


    We¡­ Still sometimes find her at the gateway. No matter how much I try and have the manor steer her away. But¡­ Now she¡¯s more growling and hissing than weeping to the Rifts beyond where she would escape to. Seems to only offer little melodic sounds to the manor for not budging these past few times I found her.


    Raska nods. ¡°Good. Good. I still struggle to like¡­ get how that cunt even got to Lyra.¡±


    I shrug. ¡°It¡¯s simple, really. When everyone you love abandoned and hurts yo¨C¡±


    Raska waves her free hand to stop me. ¡°No, not¡­ I get that. It¡¯s horrid but¡­ it catches. I mean how did Thendra get to her in those Blighted Woods Awnya told me about?¡±


    I huff in honest frustration. ¡°I don¡¯t know. Lyra said it looked like she just¡­ Riftwalked there.¡±


    ¡°What, by the Dead Cinders, is she?¡± Raska hisses, more to herself. ¡°My moms said she was just¡­ some mercenary. A cunt from a pack of really dangerous Soul drinking types. But¡­ then she got to this manor like it was nothing and¡­ and somehow wandered into Lyra¡¯s home in the middle of a forest drowning in Blight?¡±


    ¡°She¡­¡± I pause, Impressed that she stumbled onto this same worry I have. ¡°Even the Fae considered her a simple brute. Still hold that opinion as far as Awnya knows.¡±


    Raska shakes her head. ¡°It doesn¡¯t make sense. You¡¯d think someone would¡¯ve like¡­ noticed. What with how well-connected she¡¯s gotten over the years. Was even tangled up with Furthonois there at the end.¡±


    I pause, not even trying to hide the anxiety my headstalks betray with their motions. ¡°One of her greatest weapons is that very thing, we believe. Everyone thinks of her exactly as what she wants them to see. And by the time they begin to notice that maybe this brute of a woman is more than she seems¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s too late.¡± Raska finishes when I trail off. ¡°She¡¯s gotten what she wanted. And you¡¯re left none the wiser, or dead.¡±


    A longer pause.


    ¡°So¡­ then what did she get from Lyra?¡± Raska whispers.


    I shake my head. ¡°That¡¯s my greatest fear. I don¡¯t think she¡¯s gotten everything she wants from my beloved. And I am haunted at the things Thendra may still try to extract from her should they meet again.¡±


    * * *


    Her hand in mine, we walk down some quiet connection hallway between a couple larger communities. On our way to a wonderful breakfast cooked by a dear friend after sleeping in when she speaks more clearly than almost ever before.


    ¡°Usete.¡± She whispers softly, and I slow to a stop. Turn to watch her.


    Lyra¡¯s looking down at first but¡­ quickly turns eyes up to meet mine. Violet hues burning with focus and confidence. But¡­ Her soul tails writhe nervously against my Amwella, nearly almost bumping the little one who¡¯s nuzzled close to my flame and waking them with what I can only imagine to be a slew of deep anxieties.


    ¡°Yeah¡­ Okay.¡± I nod and can¡¯t help but sigh. ¡°I¡­ Are you sure?¡±


    She nods, and whatever kept the name of her sibling steady leaves like so much smoke. ¡°W¨C wha¨C want t¨C t¨C to h¨C h¨C he¨C h¨C¡± She stops. Takes a breath. Moves past the word, just like we¡¯ve encouraged her to do. We¡¯re pretty good at guessing what she wants to say. ¡°Pl¨C pl¨C plese.¡±


    I fight so hard to keep my heart from breaking all over again. How¡­ how for a while I thought her difficulty talking was more to do with getting used to the old limb. But¡­ after these months Tretion and I had come to such a horrid conclusion.


    She struggled to speak when she was a child.


    Had to fight through it to try and tell the humans about her being a girl. Was¡­ was probably beat for it too. Hurt for something she couldn¡¯t change. Made it easy for them to just¡­ call her broken before eventually killing her and solidifying in her darkest thoughts what happens when she tries to speak her soul¡¯s songs.


    ¡°Of course.¡± I give her my most confident smirk and let it feed back into resonating and amplifying the spark of it within my soul. ¡°Let¡¯s go find Tretion after we get that meal Kutipa promised us and¡­¡±


    But she¡¯s shaking her head, speaking with clarity for a word even. ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Now?¡±


    She nods.


    I shrug. ¡°Sure. But¡­ Kutipa will be pretty sad if we skip out on her offer again.¡±


    Lyra huffs and thinks for a moment.


    ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure I know what Tretion¡¯s plan will be, and a quick breakfast won¡¯t speed anything up.¡± I assure her.


    ¡°Oke.¡± She whispers quietly.


    I squeeze her hand. ¡°But¡­ Just want to say that I¡¯m proud of you. Lyra. Really.¡±


    She looks down and away. Murmurs. ¡°M¨C my f¨C f¨C fault.¡±


    I would snort if a sudden wash of anger didn¡¯t need to be smothered right quick. ¡°It is not your fault, Lyra.¡± I very nearly hiss. ¡°They¡­ No. It¡¯s not. You did your very best with what you were given. They betrayed you. Broke two or three promises, at least.¡±


    She sighs. Very obviously disagreeing with me.


    It¡¯s not fair! From all angles this is so Dreamer Blighted Horridly Wretchedly UNFAIR! That¡­ that she should be able to talk and work through this and SCREAM her fury at all the cunts who hurt her but¡­ she can¡¯t.


    Because some wretched souls taught her that no one wanted to bother listening to her.


    I run fingers through my hair, work to settle my fury before I wake my little soulfire sleeper. ¡°And¡­ honestly I¡¯ve half a mind to talk you out of this. Usete is¡­ they¡¯re hurting. Sure. But¡­ so are you. More than them, and that¡¯s for certain. And there is an entire discussion to be sung since you both seem to want to fix things but¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits Lyra they wanted to unweave you. That¡­ that¡¯s¡­¡±


    I¡¯d spoken with Raska. She¡¯s told me more about the pains of feeling wrong in one''s own flesh. Something I could relate to a bit but¡­ only in the context of my own early shiftings to Fae! I adored being what I was, and dreaming of what my dad promised I could become. Was drowning in love and support!


    But her? And all those girls Raska¡¯s been protecting? They were hated and scorned and even used by Monsters and Fae.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits I hope Lyra eventually is comfortable talking with them all again. Is¡­ is able to enjoy the company of people who understand her trauma in that so well.


    ¡°Da¨C d¨C dan¨C dangerous.¡± She murmurs. ¡°M¨C mon¨C m¨C monster.¡±


    I tilt my head a bit. ¡°Really? Are you now?¡±


    She freezes, a blush rising on her cheeks. And her tendrils wiggle with very different memories and emotions at my warning.


    ¡°Because¡­ I¡¯ve been very clear how we test that.¡± I purr, dumping an unfair amount of sultry fury into my next whisper. ¡°And while I¡¯d hate to disappoint Kutipa again¡­ I¡¯m dedicated to making sure that every single time you call yourself those words, you¡¯ll think of little else but what I do to you when you consider it."


    She sputters a bit. Considering my warning and offer.


    ¡°All things, be they animal, Fae, or Bug¡­ will fight like it''s the Dream¡¯s End when put in enough danger.¡± I remind her. ¡°And girl¡­ you¡¯ve been in nothing but danger for so long you¡¯ve come to believe it¡¯s the normal shape of life. When it¡¯s not. You¡¯d been fighting to just¡­ find safety that some cunts keep trying to steal from you.¡±


    She bites her lower lip, and it might just be the cutest thing in the Dream if not for the pain behind it.


    ¡°I¡­¡± She whispers, then pulls my hand up to her lips. Nibbles on my fingers while her violet eyes wander back up to mine. Little tears prickling. ¡°R¨C rr¨C rrrr¨C real¨C really?¡±


    I nod, and move my other hand to weave through her hair. ¡°Really. You¡­ Lyra, you are dangerous. Of course. All Fae are. And you¡¯ve been pushed to violence. But¡­ a monster? No. Not that. Never.¡±


    She sniffles, and takes a few deep breaths. ¡°Th¨C thank y¨C you.¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡± I reply, then¡­ lean down a bit closer. Whispering softly. ¡°But¡­ I still have a promise to keep. Kutipa is going to be really annoyed with you for making us miss out on her cooking again.¡±


    She smiles, and moves hands to trail up my arms, across my chin and neck, then up into my hair. ¡°W¨C ww¨C woops.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but giggle a bit as I lean forward to pull my lover into such a delightful kiss.

 Chapter 97: The Cinders of Regret and Forgiveness

    <u>CW:</u>


    Plurality. Talk of smothering Headmates. First.... ever.... RASKA POV!!! AHHHH. Mention of Fae songs luring people into actions without consent.


    Endless jabbering of the five flames within our Amwella causes a ripple of pain to lash through our blaze of a soul. Division and fury and general grumpiness pulsing between them in some disparate argument.


    [Smother yourselves!] My first flame, Pevatorii, roars. And then follows up with a quick slew of words I can only take to mean [Or I¡¯ll devour your will and shit out what remains in a few weeks!]


    The cacophony of disputes fall into subtle grumbles of discontent and I thrum quietly into our soul to him. Thanks Peva. Focusing to Remain impassive and quiet when I see the two that enter Tretion¡¯s workshop.


    Awnya and Lyra.


    One of the five flames, maybe¡­ number two? She¡¯s never given or chosen a name, hisses dark threats in a private slithering tongue I lost patience trying to decipher over a decade ago.


    The Matron embraces her two lovers, and my soul thrums with malice at them due to the second¡¯s fury, but¡­ it¡¯s easy enough to drown. Especially with the aid of Peva.


    Keep calm and focus on just¡­ remaining as non-threatening as possible. I assure myself as I take a deep breath. We¡¯ll be asked to leave soon. No creation work today and this seems a sudden and private thing.


    ¡°So¡­¡± Awnya pushes ruffled hair back, then turns to Lyra. ¡°Did you want to ask or should I? We¡¯ve kinda considered how this might happen but¡­¡±


    Lyra huffs and nods.


    Have to keep my senses focused elsewhere. It¡¯s hard since¡­ like¡­ my eyes aren¡¯t really things of flesh anymore. Kinda can absorb Amwella pulses and echoes from all around.


    And Lyra¡¯s soul? It was always such a gorgeous thing to see her Amwella flicker and dance. Cute little soul tails wriggling about and always wanting to reach out and touch but¡­ too seared by my flame unless I pulled her into bed to¡­


    [Ember Yourself.] Peva pulses through our soul.


    Right. Sorry. I huff and turn a bit to face the door. It doesn¡¯t help but¡­ the gesture is there.


    So much harder to ignore now. Her new soul. It¡­ it''s like this great big flame of weaving and bobbing life that¡­ that even teems with odd little bird looking things! If I ever get to talk with her again I¡­ I¡¯d like to ask her about them! She¡¯s not an Everflame so asking won¡¯t be seen as like¡­ a threat!


    That¡­ makes me pause.


    The distant hope that someday I¡¯ll meet someone that I can share this with.


    ¡°Usete.¡± Lyra murmurs without a stammer or stutter, eyes and soul glowing with confidence her voice fights so hard to match.


    Her sibling? The one who betrayed her and... and threated to take away her body and magic?


    ¡°Ah.¡± Tretion nods, her headstalks writhing in what I¡¯ve come to understand as ¡®wanting to be supportive of her Fae¡¯s nonsense but is actually anxious as all the Dead Cinders¡¯. ¡°You want to help them.¡±


    And now the fourth flame can¡¯t stop gurgling and growling, but¡­ she knows better than to push me just because the girl who killed her last Everflame is standing in the same room as us.


    Lyra nods.


    ¡°Alright. Let¡¯s¡­ sit down." The Matron agrees. "We have a lot to speak about.¡±


    This seems to confuse Lyra a bit. Makes her Amwella change its flickering patterns, but she follows her lovers¡¯ lead and moves to sit at an empty table generally set aside for shared meals. Wrapping a tendril around both their souls.


    ¡°So¡­ I¡¯d like to understand what you want out of this.¡± Tretion starts, reaching out with soul and hand to make contact with Lyra. ¡°In your own words. You can take as long as you like.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Lyra mumbles.


    ¡°Not because we¡¯re not gonna make this happen.¡± Awnya interjects. ¡°Just¡­ We think it¡¯s important that we¡¯re all on the same page.¡±


    Lyra huffs and looks down, scratches sharp talons across the hard table before finally murmuring. ¡°R¨C re¨C remove. C¨C c¨C comm¨C ands.¡±


    Tretion nods. ¡°That¡¯s kind of you, but¡­ what then?¡±


    Lyra pauses. ¡°N¨C None. J¨C j¨C just le¨C let th¨C the¨C them li¨C live fr¨C free.¡±


    Awnya and Tretion share a quick glance before the Fae sighs. ¡°Yeah. So¡­ There¡¯s a problem with that."


    Lyra jerks up to look between them, such worry and fear writhing through her soul.


    ¡°So¡­ Last we understood Usete was in the Morning Court of the Fae Wood, correct?¡± Tretion asks.


    ¡°Yup.¡± Awnya nods. ¡°Staying with Yuna and two others she raised.¡±


    ¡°So two problems arise just from that.¡± Tretion lets out such a breath. ¡°A Riftwalk will not take Awnya directly to them due to the odd nature of that Wood. It¡¯ll be¡­ what? A week of travel to reach their home?¡±


    Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.


    Awnya raises her hand to give a ¡®so-so¡¯ gesture. ¡°Less, since I¡¯ll be moving at speed. Three days. Four at the most.¡±


    Tretion nods, and her tendrils continue to shape out her own worry and annoyance in subtle patterns. ¡°Then a return trip at their pace. All workable. But¡­ the afterwards is what worries us, Beloved.¡±


    Lyra winces. ¡°Br¨C bring h¨C h¨C here. Th¨C they c¨C can re¨C re¨C c¨C come b¨C back.¡±


    ¡°Exactly.¡± Tretion nods, ¡°And¡­ if they wish they could go back to the elders of the Fae. Tell them you''re alive and where to find you.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡±


    Awnya speaks up then. ¡°And while the manor should keep anything and everything out¡­ I got in. And even if they can¡¯t replicate that then this could keep us sealed here for a long time. Which is fine. We¡¯re like¡­¡±


    But the Fae trails off when Tretion¡¯s headstalks twist to weave furious patterns. ¡°No. No it is not. I will not have our future restrained by anyone. Especially not ones who¡¯ve hurt Lyra. Any other Fae who enter this manor will either remain, or have additional commands laid to stop them from returning without our explicit permission.¡±


    A pause, and Lyra¡¯s eyes go wide at the implications.


    ¡°I¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits. You know I get it. Have no sympathy for them but¡­¡± Awnya looks back and forth helplessly between her Watcher and Fae lovers. ¡°Asking her to curse more people feels¡­ a bit wrong. Love.¡±


    Tretion huffs, but locks her eyes on Lyra. ¡°I will give you my everything, beloved. Would burn the Rifts entire to naught but blighted ash to keep you safe and healing. But¡­ never again will I let you risk your life or happiness for those that endlessly have wronged and hurt you. If Usete is to receive this gift from you, they and any others who visit will choose between those options.¡±


    Lyra¡¯s soul is such a mess of emotions as she stares at the Matron. Whispers so softly. ¡°If I w¨C w¨C won¡¯t?¡±


    Tretion replies without hesitation. ¡°Then their only option is to remain here.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m going to tell them all this first.¡± Awnya assures both of them. ¡°They¡¯ll make their choice before we even leave your sisters¡¯ home. Full understanding of what their future will hold if they follow me back to this manor.¡±


    A long pause, then Lyra nods and whispers. ¡°Nn¨C no c¨C cur¨C curses.¡±


    Tretion finally lets out a sigh and her headstalks slump. ¡°That¡¯s perfectly reasonable and¡­ and what I think is best too. Usete¡¯s curse seems to be mostly in regards to their speaking about you. So if they want to remain apart, then so be it. But if they want to reconcile, well¡­ they¡¯ll have to earn our trust by living here. On your terms.¡±


    They talk a bit more. Work out that Awnya will leave in a few days, and¡­ never dismiss me. Which means I can only speak when Lyra has left with Awnya.


    Else half my flame will start leaking from me like blood from a wound, and the five soulmates will get very hard to restrain and ignore¡­


    Tretion is tip-tapping the table while headstalks wiggle in contemplative patterns when I come to take a seat across from her.


    ¡°So¡­ why?¡± I leave the question open. There are plenty of ¡®whys¡¯ to answer here.


    Why keep me around for this very personal discussion?


    Why risk the manor¡¯s safety in regards to a person who hurt Lyra so much?


    Why not wait a few years or a decade for things to settle?


    ¡°Because¡­ I¡¯m a fool.¡± She murmurs, peering longingly at the door her lovers left through.


    ¡°Not sure anyone who¡¯s met you would agree.¡± I reply. ¡°What makes you say that?¡±


    Headstalks bounce back and forth in disagreement. ¡°Because roughly five years back Awnya proposed this very thing. I had the chance to welcome Lyra¡¯s family into this place. But I refused her. Let my own anger stop me from claiming the aid of not one, but three Fae.¡±


    [Flame stealing wretches, burn and bite and smother and devour!] Peva seethes, his anger and mine becoming a thing that the other four slink away from. Gurgling in agreements and placations.


    Not wanting to suffer a smothering again for taunting us.


    I snort, letting bitter mirth ease some of the pain. ¡°Or you were just¡­ Being smart. The Fae could have easily used you and tossed your hollowed out corpse to the ashes.¡±


    Tretion eyes me, headstalks stilling a bit. ¡°Awnya mentioned you had a bad history with the Fae.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s putting it mildly.¡± I crack my neck and let Peva vent a bit of our rage through our nostrils. Huffing a small spark of blue flame. ¡°She didn¡¯t tell you anything else?¡±


    Tretion shakes her head. ¡°No. It was shared in confidence, and did not mar her trust in you. However limited it was at the time.¡±


    I sigh and urge my first flame to calm himself. Peva thrums fury but¡­ relents. Understanding that such anger will not aid us at the moment.


    ¡°Fae have rolled through some Rifts me and mine lived in a few times. Took whatever they wanted and left us¡­ me¡­ afterwards. Never made efforts to help anyone. Just... used their song magic to lure people into¡­ into things they would have otherwise said no to.¡±


    Horrid memories war like cold winds against Peva and mine¡¯s fury. But¡­ we smother them together. Focus on the now.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡± Tretion winces, headstalks actually leaning toward me a bit.


    ¡°It was years ago. But¡­ it¡¯s why I made a point to¡­¡± I trail off, sparks eyes flicker toward were her lover''s left.


    [To burn the last three Fae who we found in our domains. Drove them off with flame and fury unbound and wrothful and NevEr LeT the HoRRiD CUNTS USE US EVER AGa-]


    Tretion looks to the door, face openly pained. ¡°Ah.¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± I huff while smothering our fury the second Peva calms a bit.


    A long pause.


    ¡°I¡¯ll act as duenna to anyone you welcome here. Matron.¡± I assure her. ¡°Regardless of their¡­ nature. Will only burn them if they seek to violate the peace. Just make sure they understand that includes weaving their songs at people without their consent and entering my community.¡±


    She looks back to me, nods. ¡°I expect no less. The magic they can wield should be spun responsibly and without violating the wills and wishes of others.¡±


    I relax at that.


    ¡°But.¡± She thrums, and all her tendrils turn to face me. ¡°No killing. Not permanent wounds if you can manage. If they cross a line they get detained.¡±


    [Seer wretched Fae flesh!] Peva growls, and the four others grumble sounds of agreement. [Smother and devour their Amwella and¨C]


    I grind our teeth in confliction as he growls an entire litany of threats. ¡°My Flames aren¡¯t gentle things, Matron Tretion.¡±


    She waves a hand in dismissal. ¡°They don¡¯t need to be. If something happens simply bar their paths and let my manor or I act.¡±


    That makes us all pause, fury melted to surprise. ¡°What? I¡­ I mean I know it¡¯s alive but¡­ can it hope to handle even one Fae¡¯s Songweaving?¡±


    She grins then, and it¡¯s probably one of the scariest expressions I¡¯ve ever seen on this gentle woman¡¯s face. ¡°Duenna Raska, this manor is a leviathan that swims amidst the most Rotting and Blighted part of the Dream. A sustenance that Fae fear above all else. And we¡¯re currently housed within its clutches. Yes. It can handle an entire gaggle of them with ease, more if it is roused to wroth.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Is all we can reply.


    But then her expression sours. ¡°I¡¯m more worried about her family''s¡­ opinions on Lyra. If they¡­ if allowing this is just making the same mistake again. Letting them reject and hurt her for no other reason than my lover''s goodwill.¡±


    I tip-tap the table. ¡°Awnya will gauge their demeanor before committing to bringing them.¡±


    She nods. ¡°Of course, but¡­ there is only so much we¡¯ll tell them. The slaughter of Furthonois and¡­ and mantling of their power will be kept secret. Alongside Lyra¡¯s past ten years with Thendra. Fae have a history of considering trauma with poor regard. Best to force them to absorb it all in an environment where irrational nonsense can be easily suppressed.¡±


    I relax visibly. ¡°You¡¯ve considered everything, it seems.¡±


    Her headstalks writhe in worry still. ¡°No. There are too many factors. Even with this only being a trip to the Fae Wood.¡±


    ¡°I would offer to go with her but¡­¡±


    [We¡¯d burn and smother and bite and devour and¨C] Peva sparks off a litany of fury. Fortunately a quiet thing I can shove to the back with the rest of the other ones.


    ¡°Of course not.¡± Tretion laughs mirthlessly. ¡°That would just be asking for disaster. My main concern is Awnya either being detained by the Fae, or someone following her through the Riftwalk she¡¯ll weave. It¡¯s never happened but¡­ We¡¯ve never worried about a Fae trying to track her. While more common people would find it impossible to decipher¡­ any Fae who¡¯s mastered Riftwalking could easily mimic the song.¡±


    ¡°Then why risk this at all?¡±


    Tretion¡¯s face twists into a thing of such pain. ¡°Because¡­ Lyra has been practicing their name for the past three months. Whispering it when she thinks we¡¯re not about in preparation to ask us today. It¡­ it gnaws at her. Makes her healing so much harder.¡±


    ¡°But they betrayed her.¡± I hiss, letting Peva¡¯s anger bubble up to become my own. ¡°Would¡­ would let others take the body she wove, or worse.¡±


    ¡°Yes." She agrees without hesitation. "Because they are fools. And If I believed they still held those opinions this wouldn¡¯t even be an option. But¡­ last Awnya visited all those years ago she said they had changed. That they miss Lyra terribly and regret what they¡¯d done.¡±


    I glare away from her and nearly snarl. ¡°They don¡¯t deserve even a hint of Lyra¡¯s forgiveness. Much less to¡­ to know that she¡¯s alive and healing. Or to see the state they abandoned her to fall into.¡±


    Tretion lets a long pause pass, then sighs. ¡°If love and forgiveness were things we must always earn, and not often gifts given freely, then undeserving people like us would never know of it.¡±


    Our fury sputters, and I turn back to stare at her. ¡°What? I¡­ But¡­ You¡¯re one of the most generous souls I know, Matron. Sharing this manor with¡­ with thousands and¨C¡±


    ¡°And when I first met Lyra I thought to claim and treat her as a pillow slave.¡± She looks down then, guilt and shame laid plain. Fingers move up to touch some long faded scar on her neck. ¡°She would have been right to kill me, but¡­ she didn¡¯t. She endured trails and threats and worse to save me. And it was that undeserved kindness that fills me with the will and fury to extend it to others.¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°Even me?¡± I whisper.


    ¡°Even you.¡± She nods. ¡°And I think, for both your sakes and mine, that we¡¯re all much better off for that.¡±


    Our anger drains like blood from a wound, and¡­ and is replaced by a thrumming of aching warmth for this amazing woman. I and Peva both nearly shaking with it.


    Then her hand is at mine. ¡°You¡¯re a kind and gentle soul. Despite a past that''s encouraged you to embrace opposing temperaments.¡±


    I nod as long burned away tears itch. ¡°I¡­ If you ask me, we''ll go with Awnya. Keep her safe. Restrain our fury and¨C¡±


    She shakes her head with a smirk. ¡°No. Awnya is smart and quick. She¡¯ll come back to us. Nothing in this Dream or beyond can stop that certainty.¡±

 Chapter 98: Amidst Silks, Songs, and Bug-Loves

    <u>CW:</u>


    Cold. Anxiety, um... talk of curses and scars and meeting lost family and mupples. Not really that much! Woops! Awnya POV chappy! Woops!


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± I huff, and hum more heat into the winds around me. Both to turn away the onslaught of horrid chill, but also to bring the cocoon of space around me to more comfortable warmth.


    Like before, my trip through the mountains of the Morning Court is a miserable flight. Easier than before, but still riven with cold I really really hate. But¡­ My songs seem to thrum with more excess melodies than before. Things imbued with the love Lyra¡¯s Amwella seems to share with me every time we mingle soulfire.


    Can¡¯t help but smile at the memory. Turn the warm muses and anticipations of being back with my lovers into my humming chirps.


    Very nearly feel them at my side with how strong the recollection is. Basking in the memories of our final snuggles and lovemaking and goodbyes as I leap from my branch and continue my bounding flight.


    The Fae Wood of Sunrise, the Morning Court, is the most empty of the three of my kind. The cold often a thing even creatures native to this place enjoy leaving for warmer places. Only the most reclusive and hardy of Fae preferring this chill.


    Another day, and another night, and I reach their home.


    It¡¯s honestly such a wonderful place. Something I¡¯d only in these past years felt the patience to consider weaving something of it¡¯s like within our manor.


    Verdenflure and Quenith have built a warm palace of silken weavings betwixt the tallest trees at this mountain¡¯s side. Spent decades perfecting a type of enchanted spider silk and growing it. Even found ways to like¡­ make the stuff shift and adjust to absorb heat and radiate warmth.


    Created an oasis more regal than any other among the Rifts¡­ save our manor, of course.


    I land atop a cluster of branches stretching out from one of the trees, feeling the subtle hum ripple through the home.


    Alerting her creators that a Fae guest has arrived. Probably¡­ yeah this home recognizes my Amwella. Is probably telling them who¡¯s just ventured out to visit.


    So I step forward and brush past the curtain, am immediately sighing at the warmth this place so easily holds.


    Within the tree itself is a spiraling set of stairs and platforms that weave down and into other tunnels that lead to other trees and the mountain itself. Either with more of the soft but hardened spider silk or hollowed out tree branches.


    And soon a girlthing with multiple limbs and glimmering blue chitin is peeking out one of them to spot me.


    ¡°Awnya!?!¡± She chirps, voice a bit clickie and filled with little song weavings of greetings.


    ¡°Heya, Quenith!¡± I smile down at her. ¡°Hope you don¡¯t mind me popping in.¡±


    She scuttles up the side of the tree and plops down before me, and we share a quick and easy embrace. ¡°Not at all! You¡¯re basically family!¡±


    I can¡¯t help but smile. These two are¡­ honestly amazing. Easy to interact with. They really enjoy settling down and just¡­ mothering the forest around them. Welcoming all manner of wandering creatures into their warm home when they need a break from the chill without. Have actually built a ton of little versions of this place throughout the Morning Court for just that purpose.


    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t actually be a long visit.¡± I pull back. ¡°Just¡­ I¡¯m guessing Yuna and Usete are still here?¡±


    She quirks her head to the side and seems to look me up and down. ¡°Mhm. They are.¡±


    ¡°Perfect.¡± I sigh in relief. ¡°Was worried I¡¯d have to go searching for them like I did all those years ago.¡±


    ¡°Oh? Is¡­ is something wrong? You seem¡­¡± She tip-taps a trio of fingers across the chitin along her collarbone. ¡°Different. Did you mingle your song with another Fae?¡±


    I can¡¯t help but chuckle. ¡°Yeah. You could say that.¡±


    A little pause passes, and I let my smirk let her know that¡¯s all I¡¯m sharing right now.


    She huffs and puffs in a way that makes such cute little clicking sounds. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits, I hope you¡¯re not sharing yourself with someone dangerous.¡±


    ¡°Always.¡± I laugh more and reply without hesitation. ¡°But there is little in the Dream more deadly than a Fae basking in love.¡±


    Quenith can¡¯t help but fix me with such a look, but¡­ my confidence settles her for now as we head through the winding pathways of her home.


    My sudden good mood, fostered by warm memories and the comfortable heat of this place falters a bit when we enter what seems to be a home woven specifically for Yuna and Usete.


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    It¡¯s quite spread out compared to the rest of the space, brimming with life that seems foreign to these Woods. Almost¡­ tropical in some ways. Bees and other insects flitter about and even a little pond gurgles.


    Made to somewhat match the home Yuna gave up to get away from the Fae elders, and¡­ and the memories.


    Usete is the first I see. Waded about knee deep in the waters and humming a quiet little song to some big fish-bug things. They seem¡­ a bit better. Amwella no longer rife with as many little holes as the last time I saw them. Skin even seems to have gained back some of the luster it lost in the years after I told them and Yuna what happened to Lyra.


    I was so worried they¡¯d seek an unmaking, wish to sing the song to end their place in the Dream.


    They don¡¯t turn when we enter but¡­ their song does tilt in curiosity. Not at who enters their little grove but¡­ why.


    It¡¯s been years now. And¡­ and when I left this place last I wasn¡¯t quiet about how little I enjoyed the chilled bite of this Wood.


    ¡°Hey Usete.¡± I greet and offer a soft song beneath the words. Nonsense but¡­ normal for Fae to share subtle musing of our souls.


    ¡°Awnya.¡± They turn amidst the waters to greet me, only slow their feeding to the little group of hungry critters. ¡°What brings you so far out into this cold Wood?¡±


    ¡°Need to¡­¡± I look about. ¡°Is Yuna closeby? You should both be here for this.¡±


    That brings a furrow to their brow, but they only say. ¡°I¡¯ll call to her.¡±


    I nod and turn to Quenith. ¡°Honestly, we should''ve grabbed Verdenflure, this¡¯ll be easier to share once, and with the entire family here.¡±


    It takes a bit, and I end up settling on a patch of warm grass with Usete and Quenith to wait. We talk of small things. Their projects and plans for the coming cold seasons, and I speak a little of the community I¡¯ve continued to help grow. Only mention that mine and Tretion¡¯s relationship has done nothing but bloom and blossom into wonderful shapes.


    Verdenflure is the first to arrive. All a flutter and scuttle of worry. But¡­ my assurances that I bring nothing but good songs and Quenith¡¯s hugs and a kiss quiets her anxiety.


    Like many Fae, these two bear such unique songs.


    Apparently Yuna found them curled up together in a flower amidst one of the colder nights upon a quick visit to these woods many many years ago. Two little strange deformed insects who¡¯d managed to survive and find comfort in each other when their clutches abandoned them. She couldn¡¯t help but take such a liking to the pair of bug-loves, and fostered them into becoming Fae. They¡¯ve always been inseparable. Songs a harmonic tune that always seems to echo between them, even when they¡¯re apart.


    I¡¯ve always enjoyed watching how easily they sit together. Curled close like¡­ like their parts are just made to weave into the others many limbs.


    And then Lyra¡¯s mother arrives.


    Yuna is¡­ changed since last I saw her. Taller, for one. Perfect Fae form shifted to wear a good bit more weight and let her hair grow into a tangled mane. Long ears fluffier than before, green scales seeming to be tinted a bit more dully.


    ¡°Awnya.¡± She greets after we share a warm embrace, her face a bit of a mask. ¡°What brings you all the wait out to our cold corner of the Woods?¡±


    I smile as we pull back and she sits to join us on the grove. ¡°Good news actually. But¡­ I¡¯ll need something from all of you first. A promise in song to keep what I¡¯m about to say and ask between us.¡±


    Not¡­ this didn¡¯t stop Usete from betraying her. But¡­ It¡¯s something, at least. Should make them pause before doing anything stupid.


    The two girls share a look, and Usete can¡¯t help but purse their lips while Yuna quirks an eyebrow.


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ I know it¡¯s a lot to ask. But¨C¡±


    ¡°No. It¡¯s fine.¡± Yuna is the first to speak. ¡°I trust you.¡±


    I twist to face the other three. Usete nods, face a bit pained. ¡°I do as well.¡±


    ¡°Can we at least ask what this is in relation to?¡± Verdenflure chirps, anxiety already plain and bubbling up.


    ¡°It¡¯s not that we don¡¯t trust you but¡­¡± Quenith bobs back in forth in agreement. ¡°We¡¯d rather not deal with the prick of that if we can help it.¡±


    I sigh and give them my most reassuring smile. ¡°I¡¯ll say that if you don¡¯t want to, that''s fine. But I¡¯ll need to have this conversation in private with those that agree to it.¡±


    They share a long look and a few quick chirps and¡­ huh.


    Can¡¯t understand them. Seems¡­ normally my Fae nature makes all languages clear. But not theirs''s. Even now after hearing them do this all those years ago. Should ask them how they do it.


    ¡°Alright.¡± Quenith sighs and turns to me. ¡°We trust you too. We¡¯ll do it.¡±


    And so they all weave such a pretty little melody together. One that hopefully will create a sturdy tether that will keep them from breaking this promise.


    ¡°Okay! Thank you.¡± I relax visibly after it''s done. ¡°So¡­ I¡¯ll just come out and say it. Lyra¡¯s alive.¡±


    For the grove of a Fae to go quiet is¡­ honestly terrifying. This place is attuned to those that live here. Beats with their heart and pulses with their souls'' most subtle songs. Even if the Fae is gone from the Dream their sanctuary will resonate for years to their latent tunes.


    And this silence is smothering. Literally feels like the only thing to crack it will be¨C


    ¡°Alive?¡± Yuna whispers softly. ¡°She¡­ my¡­ my Little Girl she¡­ she came back? When? Where is she!?!¡±


    I move to sit close to her, offer her my hands. ¡°Yeah. Long story but¡­ She¡¯s safe.¡±


    The tears that pour from her eyes are¡­ are such marvelously painful things. The silence of the grove is cracked and shattered by her sobs that twist between old pains and sudden joy.


    ¡°She wants to see you.¡± And I glance over to see Usete songless and still. ¡°Both of you. Is¡­ well¡­ you¡¯ll see. If you want. She wants to clear the Curse of all commands, Usete.¡±


    Their face twists in such pain, fingers twitch and reach forward to wrap around the foot that bears the scar. ¡°I¡­¡±


    ¡°But¡­ you won¡¯t be able to leave where I¡¯m taking you. Not¡­ not until the Matron of the Rift thinks you trustworthy. We¡¯re kinda devoting everything we are to keep Lyra safe and apart from certain groups.¡±


    I¡¯d not told them of Tretion¡¯s manor. Just¡­ that I¡¯d been helping her heal after what happened. Even managed to keep the knowledge of it from the Fae Elders when I wove them songs of truth about Lyra¡¯s supposed end.


    And¡­ in later years it was impossible not to tell Yuna and Usete of my love for her.


    Yuna is nodding fiercely through her tears. ¡°Verdenflure and Quenith can see to our grove.¡±


    Usete is just¡­ staring at their wrapped foot. Even their breathing seems to have halted as their mind and probably Amwella writhe in such a whirlwind of old pains.


    ¡°Is¡­¡± Yuna sort of studders to a halt. Halfway between rising and sitting. ¡°Is her body¡­?¡±


    Wrong? I easily understand her sudden worry.


    ¡°We¡¯re working on that. It¡¯s¡­ complicated.¡±


    She moves then. Rising to begin chirping little songs to her grove and speaking over her shoulder as she flutters about. ¡°I know her Fae song. Can help fix any nonsense and get her back into the right shapes.¡±


    I consider telling her more. That¡­ that Lyra¡¯s body is just where she wants it. No matter how much Tretion and I¡¯ve tried to push her toward trying to reshape herself to remove the scars.


    But¡­ no. Let her think the Dream wrapped a horrid old shape around her. Need to keep the details hidden until we¡¯re safe and back in the manor. Then... I dunno. Maybe she has the songs that can convince our lover that she deserves to be free of that pain.


    ¡°Wait. The¡­ Our youngest sister.¡± Verdenflure waves a trio of arms to and fro in a sort of ¡®please slow down¡¯ motion. ¡°The one who got sucked into the literal blighted ocean, is alive? Not¡­ not melted or¡­ or¡­¡±


    Yuna pauses, looks between us. And that old pride from all those years ago blossoms as she speaks the next words. ¡°Lyra originally came from outside the Dream. Bears a soul of Fire that melts Blight.¡±


    The girl¡¯s eyes go wide in both surprise and a little disbelief.


    Usete jerks up to stare at their mother. ¡°What.¡±


    Yuna huffs and looks away in shame. ¡°I¡­ She didn¡¯t know. Didn¡¯t remember much from before I brought her home. I kept it a secret to protect her.¡±


    I expect¡­ I don¡¯t know. Anger or fury or¡­ something. But¡­ Usete just¡­ remains impassive. Face a mask.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry Little Softshell.¡± Yuna turns back to approach Usete, kneels before them. ¡°I¡­ I couldn¡¯t find it in me to tell her, and¡­ and didn¡¯t want to tell anyone else. Not until Awnya came along and¡­ and Lyra had told her things I didn¡¯t know she remembered. Then everything just¡­ fell apart so quickly and¡­¡±


    Usete takes a deep breath, but nods. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m going to need time. Mother. Time and¡­ and space. Once we reach her.¡±


    She nods. ¡°Of course. I just¡­ wanted you to know why I didn¡¯t tell you. Even¡­ even after we thought her gone.¡±


    They reach out to pat her hands, then slowly rise. ¡°Let¡¯s just¡­ take this one step at a time. Please.¡±


    It takes a bit to calm the sisters. Both are just¡­ still confused and humming with a bit of anger for this sister they¡¯ve never met. Have only seen the scars on the mother and beloved sibling, and not the girl who bears whose.


    But¡­ Yuna is unrelenting. Tells them more than even I was ready to share. Even¡­ and this seems to crack something in Usete, tells them about what happened with her human parents and how she was killed by them. I stop her before she tells them the why of it.


    Lyra should be the one to share that truth with only people she trusts, at least.


    And then we¡¯re packed and saying our goodbyes. Ready to travel through the evening and make all possible haste to return to my home as soon as possible.

 Chapter 99: Howling Shadows, and Her Brilliant Watcher

    <u>CW:</u>


    Auditory Hallucinations, Thinking about abuse and wanting to be back with abusers, talks about becoming a tree and not thinking people thoughts, and addiction. First Lyra POV of Arc 3 AHHHH!!!


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits, my watcher is just¡­ so smart. Brilliant and wonderful and¡­ and really good at figuring out things that would take others a dozen lifetimes to understand!


    Including me.


    ¡°How would you like to explore the three newest Groves and help me weave them?¡± She asks.


    Without even looking up she read not just my growing anxiety and restlessness but¡­ but also worked through probably about a dozen different things that might help! And¡­ and is also so willing to put off whatever she¡¯s working on. Despite how much she was enjoying it.


    ¡°S¨C sorry.¡± I huff and look up from the page I¡¯ve let my eyes roll over for the third or fourth time.


    I¡¯m curled up in a bundle with a neat book and blanket while Tretion sits at her desks working on¡­ something. A really thick book that she said she¡¯s been using to help her track the amount of people living here and¡­ and compare it to¡­ other things? Making sure enough food or something is not just being harvested but like¡­ um¡­


    There¡¯s no song to it all so it¡¯s hard to follow the rhythm she¡¯s tried to explain.


    Tretion moves to slide onto the floor next to me, asks with a smile. ¡°May I join you under there for a bit?¡±


    I nod and soon we¡¯re snuggled beneath this huge blanket. Flesh and souls and tendrils and Jellyfish nuzzled so close and sharing thrumming warmth.


    So like we would do all those years ago. Only...


    ¡°Ah.¡± She chuckles while fibbling at the little bit of blanket in front of me. ¡°I can smell why you¡¯ve kept this close all morning.¡±


    I nuzzle shyly into her. ¡°Awn¨C Awn¨C Awnya.¡±


    Smells so much like our Fae.


    She sighs, and doesn¡¯t even try to hide the tint of worry that¡¯s been thrumming through her Amwella. ¡°I always miss her when she¡¯s out and about. And¡­¡± A touch of guilt seems to shimmer through her. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ve put off research that could¡¯ve let me be the one to go instead.¡±


    I pull back to give her such a look. One that I hope shows her my surprise.


    She smiles and kisses my nose with a chuckle. ¡°I¡¯m within nibbling distance of finally being able to venture into the Rifts again. But¡­ Have been postponing working out the final steps.¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C Why!?!¡± I stammer. ¡°H¨C ho¨C how?¡±


    ¡°I need to work out the proper¡­ Well, Ovellen called it radiance but she was halfway to madness. However¡­ the word works fine for this. It¡¯s a type of tuning that Amwella needs to have to not be rotted by the Dream. It¡¯ll require a few tests but¡­ that shouldn¡¯t take long. A good week of work with Awnya.¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C why wait?¡±


    She sighs and looks past me, soul all a flutter in worry and guilt and¡­ and stubbornness.


    And we sit there in silence for such a long while. So long that even I can figure out the shape of why she¡¯s waiting.


    ¡°W¨C want t¨C to le¨C lea¨C leave w¨C with me a¨C and A¨C Awnya.¡±


    She nods, so softly it¡¯s almost unnoticeable.


    ¡°B¨C b¨C but d¨C do¨C ddooo¨C¡±


    I huff while glaring down at my useless talons, and when I regather my words and thoughts I look up to see a few tears bubbling in her eyes.


    She doesn¡¯t trust me.


    ¡°I¡­¡± She whispers. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. It''s just...¡±


    I sigh and reach up to wipe a tear just as it falls.


    ¡°It Oke.¡± I murmur while pulling a hand of hers up to nibble and kiss at. ¡°S¨C so¨C sorry.¡±


    ¡°Oh, Beloved.¡± She leans forward to pull me into such a tight hug snug. ¡°I¡­ I just can¡¯t risk losing you. Not again. Not¡­ not now that you¡­ you¡¯ve begun to heal and finally¡­ finally¡­¡±


    Finally start to feel hate bubbling up for the monster that hurt me. Something I¡¯ve only just barely been able to share with them. And¡­ and not just that. It¡¯s so hard to tell these two amazingly loving souls that I can¡¯t help but still yearn for my Dark Goddess so much.


    The soul who kept me from just¡­ ending myself for all these years. Who held me like I was such a valuable prize no matter how many times I had to be broken to keep moving. And I... I still ache so often to just¡­ stop thinking and feeling again. Just let her distract me from all that with such wonderful agonies and¨C


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    ¡°It Oke.¡± I whisper into her, cutting off the memory before it can drown me. ¡°Th¨C thank.¡±


    We cry a little more, share such soft murmurs of love and¡­ and pain. Sorrows no one else can really understand. Not even our Fae. Things born after a year of quiet life spent sinking into happiness only¡­ only to have it torn from us. And¡­ It''s wonderful. Needed. Because it makes me feel like the girl she lost and¡­ and maybe can still try and become again.


    At least maybe a little.


    But soon stomachs are growling and Tretion and I are heading off to find something to eat for the midday meal. My watcher leads us to a smaller community and chats a bit with a few interesting people covered with fur and chitin and little sensory things that are kinda linked up to their fluffy souls like Tretion¡¯s head tendrils are!


    They¡¯re really sweet and I end up murmuring a little song to some little flowers they have growing that had begun to wither. Even making sure the manor will keep an eye on them and adjust the lights in here to not burn them.


    And then Tretion leads us, warm and good smelling food wrapped tight, to the little grove she mentioned. A sort of¡­ kinda jungle place and half old manor being overgrown by that life. Soulwaste bubbles pulsing and wiggling all around and like¡­ leaking into the trees and grass. Either feeding them or¡­ or becoming them?


    Huh¡­ Is there a difference? If I died and my old body and soul fed a tree would I like¡­ become them? Or they me? Do I need people thought to be me? Would I care if I stopped having them?


    Not sure. And Dreamer¡¯s Tits is that too complex a question to ask my Tretion.


    So instead I let her talk. Listen intently as she just¡­ gushes about this place. What she¡¯s hoping to make and how Awnya¡¯s helped and like¡­ the problems and solutions she¡¯s found while doing it.


    I¡­ understand maybe half of half of it all, and would feel bad if Awnya wasn¡¯t the same way.


    "Our watcher¡¯s brilliance is just¡­ too much for us to follow sometimes.¡± Awnya had shared with such love glimmering in her eyes and dripping from her soul. ¡°And I¡¯d rather see Dream¡¯s End than smother any of her joy in sharing this passion with us.¡±


    By the end of it we¡¯re nuzzled so close into each other. Wrapped in the blanket that smells of our traveling Fae and letting snoozie little gurgling songs I¡¯m working out how to sing lull us into such peaceful sleep¡­


    That is¡­


    uNtIL a SCreAm tEArs me FROm iT.


    I jerk awake so hard that it kinda sends me into a flailing tumble. Flesh and soul and mind and Jellyfish wriggling about in all directions in a sudden spike of fear and fury. Seabed of Amwella suddenly erupting with weird little spines and warbling pulses of odd cloud looking things and...


    Just barely missing my beloved¡¯s soul.


    A sort of¡­ a mix of a hissing growl rumbles up from me as I leap up to stand and glare about the¡­ the¡­


    There¡¯s no one here but us, and our watcher.


    ¡°Beloved?¡± Tretion asks softly and carefully as she pulls up from where our tangled panic left her. glowing eyes rolling over me and my soul.


    I reach out with all my senses as I pull Jellyfish close. Soul and song and body casting about as I whisper to her, Clearer than I expect. ¡°Scream?¡±


    She doesn¡¯t answer, and her soul sings of worry but¡­ but not at¡­


    I jerk back to find her sitting and just¡­ watching me. Tendrils wriggling about in worry while her soul shows much the same.


    ANOtHEr SHriKe, this time clearly from somewhere deep in the jungle. I jerk over to the direction it echoed from.


    It seems darker over there, more¡­ more hidden behind the trees the manor has¨C


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Tretion asks. ¡°What is it, love? Did you¡­ was it¡­ is this like before?¡±


    Before? What is she¡­


    But the rippling of soul alongside how she¡¯s sitting and not touching shows me clear what she fears this is.


    A Waking Nightmare.


    ¡°N¨C no.¡± I hiss, and shake my head while tendrils pull closer to my core. ¡°He¨C hhrrr¨C heard Sc¨C scre¨C scre¨C¡±


    Can¡¯t get the word out as such anger and fear and¡­ and wretched sadness starts to envelope me at the thought that this could be one of those old things. Things my Dark Goddess said she healed me of! And¡­ but¡­ no that¡¯s not what she said¡­


    ¡°Pleasure and Purpose.¡± I whispered, almost¡­ almost feeling that old curse¡¯s sting at my words.


    ¡°Or love, and all the aimless agonies it brings.¡± She purred, a hand moving to carefully dance over the curse at my flank. ¡°You cannot have both. This is why you are plagued with Waking Nightmares, my Lyra.¡±


    What does¡­ What did that even mean!?!


    I growl in frustration, then turn back to Tretion. ¡°Y¨C y¨C you n¨C no he¨C hear?¡±


    Jellyfish coo and jibber curious worry over my trembling soul.


    ¡°I only hear the quiet of the forest, and the little sounds the manor sometimes makes.¡± Her face bears such a look of worry. ¡°Can you describe to me what you''re hearing?¡±


    ¡°Tw¨C twi¨C twice.¡± I huff and glare off into the darker areas. ¡°Scr¨C scream. N¨C not now.¡±


    She nods. ¡°Anything else? Any flashes of memory or odd sensations?¡±


    I shake my head.


    She nods, soul seems to calm a bit. ¡°That¡¯s good. And you¡¯ve not experienced any since you left, you said?¡±


    I shake my head again. ¡°N¨C no. N¨C noot si¨C since frr¨C first nn-night w¨C with h¨C Her.¡±


    ¡°Did¡­ Do you know why?¡±


    I whisper, looking down. ¡°W¨C was¡­ Sh¨C she said¡­ t¨C told me that¡­ th¨C that I¡­¡±


    Too hard to explain. To¡­ to get the words up and out to wrap this nonsense in!!!


    ¡°Take your time.¡± Tretion assures me. ¡°Healing isn¡¯t a straight path, beloved. You are safe and free to find the words. Our manor would react if these are anything other than shadows, both to protect you and me. I¡¯ve made sure of that.¡±


    I can¡¯t can¡¯t help but¡­ but jerk up to stare in desperate hope at her. Swallow hard, and try to force out the words Thendra told me so long ago. Interrupted by TWo mORe scREAmS that seem to warble and echo and¡­ and even seem to have words I can just barely not understand. Earlier ones seemed¡­ almost scared? But these¡­ they sound like the howling of some horrid beast!


    Tretion listens through it all. Even asks the manor to use its own senses to confirm that I¡¯m the only person to hear these horrid sounds. Lights up the darker sections to show the far wall and empty jungle while holding me close.


    Bubbles snuggled around us and her and¡­ and ready to move if my tendrils seem even remotely about to hurt her. Every little twitch now makes them ripple and¡­ and¡­


    ¡°Alright. That¡­ It sounds very much like she was lying to you.¡± Tretion assures me. ¡°The idea that love can cause those incredibly debilitating moments is¡­ honestly such a wretched thing to tell you. Especially on that night.¡±


    I huff. ¡°B¨C but th¨C th¨C then wh¨C what? Th¨C they st¨C stopped!¡±


    She sighs and squeezes the talon she holds. ¡°I¡­ How much do you know about Soul Drinking, Lyra?¡±


    Consuming a soul entirely. Not¡­ not an Amwella dance or even the feasting Thendra did to me. Just¡­ ripping and tearing and ending a person. Drinking their flame all in one big gulp.


    Something I¡¯ve done more times than count.


    ¡°O¨C only¡­ Only l¨C little. J¨C just¡­ ju¨Cjust ate. N¨C ne¨C never a¨C asked.¡± I wince and shake my head, whisper so soft and pained. ¡°S¨C sorry.¡±


    ¡°She manipulated you into doing a lot of things.¡± She says with all the love and understanding I don''t deserve. ¡°But¡­ other than the act itself being so ghastly, do you know why more people don¡¯t do it? Despite the benefits it can bring?¡±


    Another shake of my head.


    ¡°There are side effects. Soul diseases and such that can infest and poison. Amwella consumed is much like other foods one might eat, except rife with all sorts of things we only barely understand.¡± She says as calmly as possible.


    ¡°Wh¨C why n¨C not tt¨Cell m¨C me b¨C before?¡± I whisper, end up flinching and jerking back to stare into the empty space as another HowLInG sCREAaM echoes forth from nowhere and everywhere.


    But... Quieter now. Maybe fading?


    Tretion holds my hand so tight through it. Waiting for me to calm before answering. ¡°I didn¡¯t know, honestly. Was and still am fairly certain they were products of physical abuse and mental trauma. Everything I¡¯d ever read about Fae souls told me that they are some of the most resilient things in the Rifts.¡±


    ¡°B¨C but wh¨C why now?¡± I shiver and tremble, pulling soul tendrils close and nuzzling into my Jellyfish as they radiate love for their scared mother.


    ¡°I¡¯m worried you¡¯ve developed an addiction, and are suffering a type of withdrawal. That and¡­ and Awnya always mentioned how dangerous it is for a Fae to even be the reason someone dies. There might be additional symptoms or problems or¡­ or other such things.¡± She sighs and pulls me closer. ¡°When she returns I¡­ I¡¯m hoping it¡¯s with answers. Either from her or your family.¡±


    I can¡¯t stop the tears and choking sobs at the¡­ the flashes of pain that brings up. Images of my family hating me and wanting to hurt me or¡­ or see me unwoven and¡­ and It¡¯s so hard to tell which actually happened and which were just¡­ just twistings of those memories from my old Waking Nightmares!!!


    I must get out enough words and pulses of my soul to show my brilliant watcher what I¡¯m dreading, because soon she is offering me such affections and encouragements.


    ¡°Awnya insists that they miss you terribly. Regret how they treated you and wish for nothing more than to see you safe and healing. Would¡­ would never consider repeating their mistakes. Are haunted by them still. The chance to see you again will fill them with such furious joy!¡±


    I¡­ it¡¯s so hard to believe her though. Amidst my own twisted broken memories I¡¯m left such a trembling sobbing mess in my lover¡¯s arms. Soon though... everything is quiet but the sounds of a single little monster''s sniffling broken whimpers. No more strange horrid calls haunt my mind that day.

 Chapter 100: To Hunt a Fae

    <u>CW:</u>


    Violence and a curses sting and chapter gucking 100!!!! AHHHH!!!!


    I caught the¡­ well not the scent. Maybe¡­ the wafting of songcraft? Just as we reach a safe spot to Riftwalk. Everything in me bristles as I understand what it means.


    ¡°We¡¯re being followed.¡± I murmur as I ease my pace to an even slower walk. One hand moves to touch my dagger¡¯s hilt.


    Yuna jerks to a full-on halt, while Usete keeps walking for a few steps with me.


    ¡°Do you know what it is?¡± They murmur back to me.


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ I¡¯d say Fae just because of where we are but¡­¡± I shake my head. ¡°This¡­ I feel like there¡¯s a predator at my back.¡±


    ¡°Thendra found Lyra in the Cursed Wood.¡± Yuna growls, and seems to almost ripple with sudden boiling rage I¡¯d never seen nor thought the formerly little woman possible of.


    Usete looks between us. ¡°How? She may not be Fae, but those Cursed woods should have torn her apart.¡±


    ¡°Not sure.¡± I shrug and look about, trying to see if I can spot the thing that follows. ¡°But¡­ This is a problem either way.¡±


    Yuna cracks her neck. ¡°A Fae can follow your Riftwalk, and a Soul Drinking Reaver in the Woods is concerning at any time. I¡¯ll not leave such a beast here to endanger my children.¡±


    I raise an eyebrow to her, but don¡¯t comment just how much she¡¯s changed since I saw her last.


    ¡°And if it is Fae?¡± Usete presses. ¡°This Wood births oddities of our kind. People prone to playful ways that would seem concerning to us. They might just be curious.¡±


    ¡°Sure. We¡¯ll sing out and offer them peace and words.¡± I agree.


    ¡°And if they are one of the Elders?¡± Yuna all but growls. ¡°Or some fool they¡¯ve asked to keep watch on me and mine?¡±


    I lay a hand on her shoulder. ¡°My Old Goat taught me how to skip and hop between some rough Rifts. Places no Fae would want to follow to track us. We¡¯ll lose them before we go home.¡±


    She turns back to me, fixes me with such a look as she nods. One that thrums with a mother¡¯s fury, and a will to fight to keep her young safe.


    So we weave a song of greetings and inquiry. One that is full of welcome but¡­ insists the one following us reveal themselves.


    It doesn¡¯t take long and soon a really pretty tiger struts from the snow drowning forest. Black fur shimmering and riven with glimmering midnight jade stripes.


    A¡­ a Fae¡¯s companion? Or¡­ or slowly fostering child to one? Those green eyes seem intelligent and¨C


    And then in a twisting of songcraft the huntress is no longer a great cat, but bearing a lithe female shape laden with fur.


    That¡­ that shouldn¡¯t be possible! Sure plenty of Fae will perform alterations over time but¡­ but to change so fast and easily between creature to that is¡­ is¡­


    ¡°Heya!¡± I call out with a brittle smirk as fingers barely stop from tip-tapping on my dagger. ¡°Can we help you?¡±


    The Fae smiles, ¡°Greetings, child of wind and spring. Very few can so quickly notice the sound of my footsteps when I wish to remain unheard.¡±


    I very much let my fingers play at my daggers hilt and the old scales that hang from it now. ¡°Had to learn right quick when I¡¯m being tracked or hunted when freeing slaves. Now¡­ we have things to do and places to go so¡­¡±


    A long pause as a grin quirks at her lips and¡­


    Is that blood? Is¡­ has she been eating flesh!?!


    ¡°You bear her affections well, Awnya. But¡­ tell me.¡± The Fae purrs, ¡°How fares your lover¡¯s mind under that godling¡¯s mantled weight?¡±


    I almost wince at how Yuna¡¯s eyes jerk to regard me as she hisses. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°None of your business.¡± I sigh, partially to them both. ¡°And I¡¯ll tell you what I¡¯ve told every Fae who seems to want to hurt Lyra. She is mine, and I¡¯ll bleed every last drop of my Amwella before I let a spooky cunt like you come near her.¡±


    She chuckles then, still-clawed fingers flexing. ¡°I adore it when one of the young begins to understand the price of all this so early. So¡­ I¡¯ll offer this peace to you. Take me to her. Now, and no more Amwella but her¡¯s will need to be spilled. Not even that, if she submits.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ Nope.¡± I draw my dagger. ¡°That¡¯s not an option. You¡¯ve like¡­ done nothing to make me think you¡¯re going to treat her any better than the other Fae cunts.¡±


    Her head tilts in confusion, and she pauses. ¡°Oh? You¡¯ve mentioned this twice, but I am unaware of another Fae huntress being called to search the Rifts for her?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s¡­ different.¡± I glance at Yuna, who seems to be staring down at the snow in fury and¡­ and considerations. ¡°Has scared a lot of Fae since her start. This isn''t the first time they''ve tried to capture her.¡±


    And then Usete moves up between us, laying a hand on our shoulders. ¡°Can they treat her any worse if they knew more about her? This might be a chance to calm a storm.¡±


    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    I let such a huff of a sigh leave me. ¡°Probably not? I¡­¡± Looking back to this odd Fae, I take a chance. Now able to break that old Promise song with ease. ¡°Lyra¡¯s from outside the Dream. Can literally weave Blight like we drink water. And¡­ the Fae heard it as something it wasn¡¯t. Have tried to unravel her on more than one occasion.¡±


    The huntress freezes. Eyes seem to suddenly glow with¡­ something.


    Is that¡­?


    ¡°And now she¡¯s killed a godling of flame and drank in their Amwella?¡±


    I nod. ¡°She did it to protect me.¡±


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± She sighs and glances from us into the forest beyond. Stares for a long moment as any mirth she had bleeds away.


    ¡°She¡¯s¡­ look she¡¯s dangerous. We get that.¡± I try and interject into whatever nonsense she¡¯s chewing on. ¡°But she really is full of such good songs. Came here to find happiness and just¡­ just keeps getting swept into the clutches of really bad souls.¡±


    ¡°And¡­ what is it you mean to do with her?¡± She murmurs, eyes rolling back to regard me.


    ¡°Love her till and beyond Dream¡¯s End. Keep her safe and help her heal from all the nonsense this life has laid on her.¡± I let out such a huff of a chuckle. ¡°And I¡¯m not alone. She has a brilliant Watcher, and¡­ and this is her mother and sibling. She just needs the love this community can bring her.¡±


    The Fae sighs and looks down to regard her own claws. ¡°And¡­ besides the godling she consumed, how many souls has she robbed from this Dream?¡±


    I wince. ¡°I¡­ it¡­ it¡¯s not that simple.¡±


    She nods, as if my answer was expected. ¡°If it was just the godthing, struck down in love, she could perhaps be saved. But¡­ she¡¯s been drinking up souls. And¡­ to have a new blazing through this Dream provides the young with such an opportunity.¡±


    ¡°Opportunity?¡± Usete speaks up at that. ¡°What do you¨C¡±


    But the rest of their question is cut off by a loud slam of force as an arrow thicker than Yuna¡¯s arm tears into the Fae huntress.


    I¡­ I think it would have killed her, if she¡¯d not already been shifting. Whether she sensed the arrow or¡­ or was preparing to pounce on us I¡¯m not sure. But the thing rips through her hip and leg before cracking a large trunk of a tree behind her off.


    But this tigress is already healed and pouncing toward us. My dagger is raised and ready while a melody of a blizzard dances through my muscles. But¡­ then the snow next to her erupts, and a twisting mass of furious nonsense tackles the Fae.


    Amidst the struggle I hear a single snarl split through the misted snow and furious struggle within. ¡°GO!¡±


    I don¡¯t have the time to consider this. Hate the idea so much of being given aid by¡­ by¡­


    Reavers.


    Bulderii¡¯s arrow, and¡­ well this Isn¡¯t Thendra at least. I¡¯d recognize her voice and soul past Dream¡¯s End.


    And so I sing a Rift open, and pull Yuna and Usete through the first of a dozen places to make sure not even my dad could follow. Take us to the edge of half-Blighted and abandoned lands that scream and weep as they are being twisted back into the Oceans between.


    Usete has to shield us with Blight-wards while I skip us along. Yuna helps a little but¡­ she never handled Rot or Ruin much and can mostly only offer soothing melodies as my soul droops at the cost of all this.


    ¡°Okay.¡± I huff. Amwella strained and weathered from the exertion of all these songs. ¡°Last couple hops, then we¡¯ll be there.¡±


    Yuna is helping me stand. ¡°Deep Breaths. We can take a rest if you need it.¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°Naw, this is easy. Got lots of practice. Just¡­ takes a good amount out of me.¡±


    ¡°Awnya.¡± Usete steps up to kneel before me. ¡°Let¡¯s take a few minutes, at least. Even my Blight wards are starting to crack. Let¡¯s not risk damage to ourselves.¡±


    I consider arguing but¡­ ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± I laugh without humor as I slump to sit amidst the strange forest we¡¯ve stopped in. ¡°What was that even all about?¡±


    ¡°I was going to ask you that.¡± Yuna sighs and sits close. ¡°I¡¯d never met that Fae Elder, and¡­ I didn¡¯t even catch what happened before you pulled us away.¡±


    Usete settles into our little circle, such a strained look on their face. ¡°She¡­ Awnya. When did she come back? Where has she been these past years?¡±


    I wince. ¡°It¡­ look, I agreed to let Lyra share what she wants. Nothing more. At least not until we¡¯re safe where we¡¯re going.¡±


    ¡°Has she been with who I think?¡±


    I can¡¯t help but glare at them but¡­ it¡¯s Yuna who speaks. ¡°And if she has? What would that change?¡±


    Usete sighs and looks down. Unable to answer well without causing that curse''s sting.


    ¡°And that¡¯s why we should also wait to have this talk later.¡± I reach out to touch their hand. ¡°As much as I hope that you can come to understand your sister¡¯s pains and the healing she needs¡­ if you can¡¯t or won¡¯t you deserve to at least be able to speak them without fear of that curse¡¯s sting.¡±


    They sigh. ¡°And if I still feel the same way? You¡¯d said we won¡¯t be able to leave this Rift we¡¯re visiting.¡±


    ¡°There is plenty of life to live there, and lots of people. Just¡­ We won¡¯t let you go back honking to the Fae about it or her.¡± I shrug. ¡°The worst we¡¯ll let you do is break Lyra¡¯s heart all over again.¡±


    That makes them wince. ¡°It was¡­ I¡­ I didn¡¯t¡­¡±


    Yuna sighs as Usete trails off. ¡°One step at a time, please. Let¡¯s get safe first.¡±


    I nod. ¡°Yeah. I¡­ That Fae was doing things with songs that I¡¯d never thought possible. I¡¯d rather not see what other melodies she might sing. I¡¯m thinking we should make our last jump from a Rift with a bit more Blight. That way the trail will get smothered right quick.¡±


    ¡°Is that safe?¡± Yuna asks.


    I shrug. ¡°Safer than having to deal with her later, and we¡¯ll have access to some great healing once we arrive.¡±


    Usete moves to stand. ¡°Just let me take a bit to get a really strong melody going. That way we won¡¯t need to worry about it.¡±


    They even almost finish the song before there is a terrible rending sound, and something slams into my back and head.


    The world tumbles a bit, and when I¡¯m able to right it a very large form looms over and pins me to the dirt.


    The Fae¡¯s changed even more now. Has 6 legs, three tails with nasty looking spines running up them, and an extra eye that seems to glow a vibrant red. Maw¡¯s also dripping spiced blood as she moves to hover just a whisper from my face.


    ¡°You continue to surprise me, Awnya. I¡¯d not expect a Fae to welcome such creatures into the Wood, much less to lay a trap that could catch me so unawares.¡± She purrs.


    ¡°We didn¡¯t!¡± I hiss, slipping my hand down to grip my dagger¡¯s hilt. Considering if I can get it into her soul before she decides to bite. ¡°I was just as surprised as you to find them in the Fae Wood!¡±


    ¡°And yet they fought to aid your attempt at escape.¡± She glowers while three tails sway menacingly to and fro. ¡°What do you know of them?¡±


    I shrug, and use the chance to look about. Spot Yuna and Usete close but¡­ kept away by those tails.


    ¡°More than I would like. They¡¯re one of the other groups I¡¯m trying to keep away from Lyra.¡±


    ¡°Hmmm¡­¡± She purrs thoughtfully while slowing her motions. ¡°You¡¯re going to¨C¡±


    And then a form like a bolt of lightning Reaves forth through a Riftwalk and slams a fist into this Fae¡¯s face. Sending her tumbling like she¡¯s some kitten and not a great horror of the jungle.


    Leaving a much more terrifying monster to loom over me.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Rotting Tits and Cunt!¡± I hiss and scurry over into Yuna¡¯s legs.


    ¡°Thendra.¡± Usete hisses, and then nearly falls over in pain as the curse bites.


    The big cunt doesn¡¯t even spare us a glance, but furious lips do seem to quirk a bit. ¡°I will deal with this Fae. Return to my Lyra.¡±


    I¡¯m about to hiss a song to tear into this cunt¡¯s face, but the Fae tiger is back on her feet, eyes darting in anger between us and the huge Reaver moving to bar her path. Little songs of wind and protection already flitting about her form.


    Eyes dance over me as I stand, then She growls. ¡°You¡¯d lie to¨C¡±


    But then another one of Bulderii¡¯s huge arrows is slamming into her side and very nearly carrying that giant form forth as the thing pins her to a tree. Shattering those really really strong protections songs like so much thin ice.


    As the tiger snarls in pain and such howling anger I turn to regard Thendra. ¡°I¡¯m not letting you follow us.¡±


    She cracks her neck and stalks toward the pinned Fae. ¡°I will not enter that place until the Matron herself calls me back.¡±


    That makes me balk, squeeze my dagger tighter. Wanting to call her a liar but¡­


    ¡°You¡¯re Thendra.¡± Yuna growls, and when I glance back her eyes are locked on the Reaver.


    The big cunt doesn¡¯t reply.


    ¡°Yuna!¡± I shout as I begin to weave a Riftwalk. ¡°We have to go!¡±


    But she takes a furious step in the big cunt¡¯s direction as such a growl I¡¯d never thought possible from such a quiet Fae rolls from the base of her throat. With my free hand I try to hold her back but¡­ but she¡¯s so much stronger now and¨C


    ¡°Mother!¡± Usete hisses.


    That does stop her, just barely letting my fingertips find a grip on her arm.


    She only turns back a little.


    ¡°She needs you.¡± Usete whispers through the ending bites of the curse. ¡°Now more than ever before.¡±


    Yuna growls again, but¡­ nods. Steps back just as the Fae weaves herself free of the arrow and tree. Lands to jerkingly look around for the source of the shot while keeping an eye on the big cunt. Then that horrid maw seems to open beyond reasonable limits.


    Twisting out a symphony that smothers my Riftwalking song and tears at my throat and¨C


    Another arrow screams toward her, and while she dodges that one, Thendra moves faster than I¡¯d ever thought possible. Landing a blow infused with some kind of wretched Amwella lightning up into the tiger¡¯s throat.


    By the time I¡¯m able to gasp wind back into my lungs and tune back into a song Thendra has struck this Fae maybe¡­ six more times. Each erupting forth and echoing through the trees like a storm¡¯s roar. Breaking flesh and bone and even cracking Amwella.


    Usete only just starts up their Blight Warding song as I¡¯m on the final notes of the Rift¡¯s melody. Forcing us all to just¡­ watch as this big cunt bludgeons and beats this Fae into a gasping silence.


    Thendra doesn¡¯t turn back to us but¡­ I do get little glimpses of her face.


    No joy. No anger. No¡­ nothing. Blank as a starless sky.


    And I can¡¯t stop the little chill that rolls down my spine from bleeding into my song a bit. Fear at how little this Fae seems to worry the big cunt as she just¡­ tears her apart.


    ¡°Awnya!¡± Usete weaves into their song. ¡°Now!¡±


    And then I tear a Rift to a Blighted land, step through with Lyra¡¯s family, and get one final look back at Thendra looming over the Fae¡¯s form before sealing this Rift and turning to opening the path home.

 Chapter 101: Empty Spaces and Those That Can Still Fill Them

    <u>CW:</u>


    A little bit of self harm, stammering/trouble talking, um... yeah. that should be it! Lyra POV!


    I¡¯m running the second I hear the gurgling from the manor. Darting across soft carpets as Jellyfish coo and yip in excitement at the rush of motion.


    Breaking the promise I made to them. Not¡­ It wasn¡¯t really a promise. Just¡­ they really really REALLY kinda pleaded to me and¡­ and I mumbled ¡®oke¡¯ but¡­


    But she¡¯s home!


    So I¡¯m being a horrible lover and stupid monster and rushing to get to the gate as fast as possible. Doing my best to ignore the memories and reasons and¡­ and worries they had.


    ¡°Please, Beloved.¡± Tretion had been the first to speak after they asked and I didn¡¯t answer. ¡°I¡­ It won¡¯t be for long. Just¡­ Let me greet them at the Gate. Tell them a little about what¡¯s happened and¡­ and help them understand what to expect.¡±


    ¡°Th¨C thought th¨C th¨C th¨Ceey¡­ ff¨C fo¨C¡±


    But the words seem to dissolve into nothing as I can¡¯t understand what I even want to ask.


    I thought they forgave me?


    No, that''s stupid. They¡­ they shouldn¡¯t!


    Thought they regretted trying to unweave me?


    But¡­ I¡¯m a worse monster now than ever before! How can¡­ can I hope for them to¡­ to¡­


    ¡°They miss you a lot, but¡­ you¡¯ve been through so much since then and¡­ and we need to make sure their tits are calm.¡± Awnya had taken up my talon and kissed it a few times. ¡°You¡¯re healing and¡­ and honestly I¡¯m not going to make the same mistake again. Will totally make sure they mean to act better than before.¡±


    I looked between them. Confused and kinda scared and¡­ and hurting. Worried I¡¯d made a mistake by asking for this. But¡­ their souls sang nothing but gentle songs of plans and¡­ and ferocious protective love for me.


    So I mumbled, ¡°Oke.¡±


    The manor¡¯s like¡­ tried to stop me a few times. Nothing violent. Just¡­ wobbled the wrong hallway into my path after a turn or removed a door I might have used to cut through a community. It honestly can¡¯t do much because of how many people need these hallways. If not for all the people it might confuse and bother It could very easily trap and hold me.


    Well¡­ so long as I don¡¯t really push it.


    I think?


    It let me go before when our wills clashed but¡­ my Amwella¡¯s heavier now, and I¡¯ve not really sung anything big since before I woke up.


    The little tricks it uses do delay me, probably by a good amount. Enough to easily warn Tretion and Awnya that I¡¯m on my way. Maybe¡­ One of them might even try and come and stop me. Remind me that I promised and tug me away until they think it¡¯s safe.


    And before I¡¯m ready, because I¡¯ve been focusing on my guilt and shame and moving through the Manor¡¯s twisting instead of what¡¯s ahead, I¡¯m there.


    Tretion is kinda blocking my view but¡­ I can see them.


    Awnya is saying something about¡­ something. Talking about a tiger?


    It¡¯s not important. Not to me.


    Because beside her is¡­ is¡­


    Mom?


    She¡¯s¡­ she¡¯s so much bigger now! Like¡­ bigger than me by a head and a half! Thick with muscles and¡­ and beside her is¡­


    Usete.


    I¡¯m frozen. Suddenly wishing so much that I kept my promise. Even¡­ I mean I could back up. Sneak away. Even weave a little hiding song before¨C


    But then they spot me. Exhausted eyes flicker over from Awnya to Tretion, then snap back to me.


    ¡°Lyra! Hey! You¡¯re not supposed to¡­¡± My Fae begins to say when she turns to notice me.


    Need to get the words out.


    And then my mom sidesteps and her eyes fall on me, and¡­ and for a second there is¡­ is nothing. She looks tired and doesn¡¯t seem to recognize me. What with all the scars and the short hair and¡­


    ¡°Little girl?¡± She whispers, eyes going so wide with pain as they lock on mine.


    Can¡¯t get distracted. Need to¡­ to¡­ to say the words!!!


    My voice tingling with just a pinch of Amwella to make sure this¡¯ll reach them, I force out. ¡°Y¨C yo¨C you.¡±


    Fix my mistakes.


    Tretion turns, tendrils stiff as they writhe in worry while also trying to lean toward me.


    ¡°Mm¨C mm¨C mmmm¨C¡±


    Crimson Eyes brimming with worry as she knows exactly what I¡¯m trying to do. Why I need to do it.


    ¡°Mm¨C may.¡±


    That¡¯s not even the hardest word, and I¡¯m already coming apart. Can feel the tears falling and throat tightening and¡­ and¡­ and my Jellyfish are trying to help but¡­ but even their comforts aren¡¯t enough!!!


    My mother takes a step forward, but my wonderful Fae whispers something that makes her stop. Something like ¡®let her do this first, please¡¯.


    ¡°I¨C ig¨C ignnn¨C¡±


    Practiced for weeks and weeks! Can¡¯t clamp up now! Every word has to come out in the right order! If I skip any of it¡­ it won¡¯t work and they¡¯ll be trapped and¡­ and still hurting and¡­ and oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits their soul looks better but I can still see the scars from here and¡­ and¡­


    ¡°Beloved.¡± Tretion whispers so softly, and is now kneeling in front of me as I struggle to get everything to work!


    Didn¡¯t even see her move.


    ¡°Look to me.¡± She says while offering me a hand.


    It takes a few seconds, but I do it. Follow the sound of her voice like a light in the cold damp forest. Clamp shaking talons around her cool fingers.


    Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.


    Crimson eyes and loving soul brim with nothing but patience and support. ¡°One sound at a time. Just like you practiced. Then string them together when it feels right.¡±


    I nod and take a deep breath.


    ¡°Ig¨C igno¨C ignore.¡± I manage.


    Tretion nods, and I work so hard to keep my eyes off the scene behind her. The horrid way they must be looking at me. So upset and¡­ and hurting and¡­ and maybe¡­ maybe even wanting me to be¨C


    ¡°A¨C a¨C¡± Word is caught, force it out! ¡°A¨C all mm¨C my¡±


    ¡°Almost done.¡± She murmurs softly. ¡°You¡¯re doing so wonderful, beloved.¡±


    A few more deep breaths, then...


    ¡°Co¨C co¨C comm...¡±


    Tretion¡¯s tendrils twitch in worry. Because I¡¯m leaving out a word. Opening myself up to more pain. More betrayal. Exposing my heart to this wretched Fae who would take my songs and form and leave me sobbing and broken and¨C


    ¡°Comm¨C ands.¡±


    You may ignore all my commands.


    Instead of¡­


    You may ignore all my PAST commands.


    Not even the manor grumbles a sound in the silence that follows. All breath stilled so not a single soft spoken word of mine could be lost and ruin this.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Usete murmurs softly.


    Eyes flicker back to them, and¡­ and their soul is the same! No damage! No biting of that old curse¡¯s sting!!!


    The tears blur everything as I stutter and sniffle. ¡°S¨C s¨C sso¨C¡±


    And¡­ and they take a step toward me. Halting as such a violent terrified flinch jolts me to step back.


    Tretion glances over a shoulder and shoots what I can feel from her soul to be a look of warning, then turns back to me. ¡°Do you need to go?¡±


    I take a deep breath, mind and soul all wriggling in fear and anxiety and¡­ and such hope that¡­ that maybe they can¡­ can¡­


    A shake of my head, and a whisper I¡¯m sure that only she can barely make out. ¡°Nn¨C nn¨C nnn¨C eed.¡±


    She nods, not¡­ not entirely agreeing with me but¡­ ¡°I can be your voice, if you¡¯d like? Help communicate some things?¡±


    Wiping furiously at the tears with one hand I bring her hand up to my lips and kiss it. Murmuring a soft. ¡°Tha¨C th¨C thank.¡±


    ¡°Always and Forever, my Beloved.¡±


    Then she stands, and while clutching her hand between two talons I let her lead me to stop a few feet from them. Awnya steps over to pull me into a soft hug, before moving to my other side.


    Deep Breath, and I look up to meet the gazes of my old family.


    And¡­ and I see what I couldn¡¯t before. Not because I wasn¡¯t close enough or anything just¡­ just didn¡¯t think to look.


    Eye¡¯s either wide or pursed with pain as they remain locked on me, tears falling that so perfectly match their Amwella¡¯s weeping sorrows.


    For me. The broken stupid monster of a girl they see.


    But¡­ There are some good things there. Pride from my mother as my wiggly soul tails dance and weave in anxious patterns, and¡­ and such confused wonder from Usete.


    Better than I deserve.


    ¡°L¡­ Lyra?¡± My mother whispers as she weeps. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m so sorry.¡±


    I bite my lower lip, hard. Taste blood as I drown the sob I feel preparing to overtake me.


    ¡°And I¡­ There is so much I could have done differently. Better and I never should have told you to go. Or should have gone with you to make sure you were safe and¡­ and not just¡­¡±


    Giving myself to a monster.


    ¡°N¨C n¨C not¡­¡± I whisper. ¡°Yo¨C yo¨C your f¨C fault.¡±


    She shakes her head so fiercely then. ¡°It is. As a mother I should have fought harder. Protected you. No matter what it cost me.¡±


    That cracks it, and I¡¯m sobbing SO hard. Trembling and¡­ and fighting to not dissolve into a puddle that can¡¯t keep my eyes on her.


    ¡°May¡­ Can you forgive me?¡± She moves like she wants to step forward but¡­ only halfway lifts a hand. ¡°Is there still a place in your life that I can fill? Even¡­ even after all my mistakes?¡±


    She¡­ she doesn¡¯t hate me? Isn¡¯t¡­ is still¡­ still¡­


    It¡¯s easy to slip free of my lovers'' hands to dart into her faster than a quick breath. Wrapping arms and soul about this woman who saved me from the silent pain all those years ago. Taught me my first songs and¡­ and gave me a home.


    Her Amwella sings of pain but¡­ then such a burst of love as she feels in every part of her my answer.


    Please! Yes! Please please please please please!


    ¡°Thank you! I love you so much and¡­ and am so glad you¡¯ve come back.¡± She¡¯s engulfing me now too. Bigger arms than I ever thought to feel from her holding me tighter than any embrace in the Dream.


    And together we break. Sobbing and¡­ and trying so hard to give each other words of love and longing. Things spilling forth as only a mother and her wayward daughter can share, finally together again.


    I¡¯m not sure how long I cling to her. Probably a few eternities. With talons and tendrils and little cooing Jellyfish all pressing so tight. But¡­ Eventually I pull away. Both of us are covered in muppy tears and still clinging so tightly, even as I turn to face her child.


    Usete stands off and away and¡­ and is looking down. It takes them a second to notice that I¡¯ve turned to look at them.


    Their eyes are stained with tears too. Face twisted in pain.


    ¡°I¨C I¡¯m s¨C ss¨C so¨C sorry.¡± I whisper.


    ¡°I¡­¡± They start, voice low and raspy. ¡°Lyra, I¡­ I¡¯ve been a wretched sibling and¡­ and¡­ and you deserved better from me.¡±


    Tendrils lean toward them, Jellyfish gurble curiously at this new warm soul that might offer them snuggles and¨C


    ¡°But this¡­¡± Their eyes flicker between my Naranggas, wary in ways that send such a thrum of horror through my soul. ¡°You went back to her, didn¡¯t you? After returning from the Blight?¡±


    I wince and look down and away. Nod once.


    Tretion steps up, hovering just shy of being between us. ¡°She didn¡¯t have anywhere else to go. Thought the Fae would only gift her an unweaving after what happened with Ganzorig.¡±


    A long pause, and I look back up to see such a look of conflicted pain. ¡°Awnya told us what they did. How they had Uldra lay that trap before secluding you in a Tilling Rift.¡±


    My mother rumbles in fury. ¡°Such a wretched thing to do! Especially to a guest and a Fae returning to help a wounded member of their family!¡±


    Usete swallows, nods slowly. ¡°Yes. But¡­ That Fae. The one who was hunting us, she said some things. There at the start. Before the Reavers attacked her.¡±


    A Fae was hunting them!?!? I jerk, glancing between them all in fury and fear that rolls through my tendrils. And¡­ and Reavers in the Fae Wood!?!


    Was SHE there?


    Awnya moves up to sit next to where my mother and I have kinda huddled. Reaches out to hold a talon and get me to look at her. ¡°We¡¯re fine. My last Rift was left in a Blighted land, and was smothered almost right after I closed it behind us. She just¡­ The Fae was a weird one. Seems to have odd ideas.¡±


    ¡°R¨C re¨C Reavers?¡± I whisper.


    ¡°Yeah, she¡­ the big cunt was there at the end.¡± She forces out. Soul all brimming with desire to not share this but¡­


    She trusts me.


    ¡°She fought off the Elder Fae so we could escape.¡± She continues. ¡°Not sure why, but she said that she meant to stay away from the manor until it''s Matron calls.¡±


    Thendra rumbled the softest sound I¡¯ve ever heard from her. Then simply asks. ¡°Is this the sunrise?¡±


    I just¡­ stared ahead. Confused. ¡°What?¡±


    She released my neck to purr into my ear. ¡°We never agreed to which sunrise you would return to me.¡±


    Everything in me clinches so tight at that. She¡­ she¡­ she means to stay away? Just like before? Give me as long as I want!?!


    ¡°So Lyra has been drinking souls? ¡± Usete whispers, and when I look back their face is filled with such pain. ¡°All before killing and consuming the soul of one of the three godlings?¡±


    ¡°Y¨C ye¨C yeah.¡± I whisper, torn from my memories back into this Fae¡¯s questions. ¡°I¡­ Sh¨C she¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not that simple.¡± Awnya growls, gripping my talon harder when the words won''t bubble up right. ¡°That cunt kept pushing her into it. The first was someone who was literally attacking her, and¡­ and did worse.¡±


    Twital.


    Such a tremble runs through me. One that causes my mom to pull me so close. Even murmurs soft loving nothings as a few tears leak out of me again and Jellyfish jibber comfort.


    ¡°I¡­¡± Usete whispers as they somehow must guess at the shape of what that blighted reaver did to me. ¡°Oh, Lyra.¡±


    I look up to see my mother¡¯s other child slumped to the floor. Expression one of such guilt and pain and shame.


    ¡°This is all my fault.¡± They whisper. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. If¡­ I¡­ I didn¡¯t¡­ All those years ago if I had just listened. Or after I found you if I had stayed or¡­ or sent Awnya back I¡­¡±


    A cluster of tendrils reach out, hoping¡­ hoping against all hope¡­


    ¡°I¡¯ve broken promise after promise to you and¡­ ¡± Eyes twist down to stare at the wrapped foot that still bears the curse¡¯s scar. ¡°You had every right to curse me. To leave me like that after-¡±


    ¡°Nn¨C no.¡± I force out through a whisper.


    ¡°Worse.¡± They hiss and dig nails into the thin wrappings. So hard red stains of Fae blood begin to color the cloth. ¡°I should have been the one to get Ganzorig¡¯s end. Not him. He¡­ he wouldn¡¯t have gone to the manor if I had just said NO to his stupid plan. Knew that he¡¯d not risk conflict without overwhelming songcraft.¡±


    ¡°Uss¨C ss¨Ce¨C¡±


    ¡°And in the Twilight Court if¡­ if I had just listened and¡­ and apologized to you, mother and I¡­ we¡­ We could have maybe talked you into staying!¡± They continue over my call. ¡°It¡¯s all my fault! I¡­ I should have been the one to¡­ to be lost to¨C¡±


    ¡°B¨C belo¨C¡± I very nearly shout to cut off their spiral, tendril reaching out to mush and poke their Amwella.


    Usete freezes, eyes lock on the piece that nuzzles their soul. Watch with such a mix of terror and wonder and¡­ and¡­


    ¡°B¨C bb¨C be¨C lov¨C ed.¡± I growl out the old words I¡¯d cast aside. ¡°S¨C ss¨C sibl¨C ll¨C ling.¡±


    They jerk up as I finish the litany. Claiming them once again in Fae words as my family. ¡°You¡­ you can¡¯t¨C¡±


    ¡°N¨C no!¡± I hiss. ¡°Frr¨C for¨C forg¨C given.¡±


    They shake their head furiously. ¡°No! Not so quickly and¨C¡±


    I wriggle free of my lover and my mother to crawl across the carpet to sit in front of them. Pulling slightly bloody hand free of their foot.


    ¡°Can.¡± I whisper softly while grumbling a little wordless healing melody to stop their bleeding.


    ¡°But¡­¡± They stammer. Eyes rolling over my burns and scars and¡­ and finally locking to my eyes. Now bursting with tears. ¡°You can¡¯t trust me. Not after what I¡¯ve done.¡±


    ¡°D¨C don¡¯t tr¨C trust.¡± I snort and shake my head. ¡°St¨C stupid, s¨C sometimes. B¨C but ss¨C sorry N¨C now. Th¨C th¨C that m¨C ma¨C matters.¡±


    ¡°That can¡¯t be enough.¡±


    I shrug. ¡°H¨C has t¨C to b¨C be. W¨C want it t¨C to b¨C be. B¨C belov¨C ed Ss¨C sibling.¡±


    They just¡­ tremble a bit under the weight of those words and my ugly little healing song. Words spent. Staring as I gurgle and growl their wound mostly closed.


    ¡°I¡­ Is there anything I can do?¡± They finally whisper, eyes rolling over my burns. ¡°Something¡­ Anything to¡­ to ease your burdens and heal your wounds? ¡±


    I huff at song¡¯s end and curl legs up into my chest. Wibble back and forth. ¡°B¨C b¨C being h¨C he¨C here helps.¡±


    They huff and slump, repeat themselves. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡±


    ¡°N¨C n¨C not a¨C all y¨C your fa¨C fault.¡± I grumble and look down. ¡°B¨C big C¨C cunt.¡±


    Calling her that feels rotten and horrid and¡­ and TRUE. Of course. But¡­


    ¡°She¡¯s right.¡± Awnya sighs and moves up to sit next to me, happily nuzzling soul into mine as tendrils weave about hers. Amwella thrumming with such pride at my last words. ¡°This is really important but That Reaver¡­ She¡¯s been ten steps ahead of us all this entire time. And her helping us all get back strips the warmth right out of me.¡±


    I curl a bit tighter on myself and let out a soft growl. Caught betwixt longing and anger and confusion and¡­ so much. All the things. Pretty much all bad.


    ¡°What does she want?¡± My mother moves up to sit at my side. Offering more hugs that I gladly accept.


    ¡°Our Lyra.¡± My watcher speaks up while moving to sit at my back. Hand and tendrils weaving little comforting patterns up and down my spine. ¡°Groomed and cultivated to suffer and twist in response to the torments she leverages. That¡¯s all we know for certain.¡±


    ¡°How did she get into the Fae Wood?¡± Usete asks. ¡°Both today and all those years ago?¡±


    ¡°R¨C Riftwalk?¡± I murmur.


    Usete shakes their head. ¡°The Wards about the Fae Woods should stop her.¡±


    ¡°Do your Songwards reach into the Blight? Protect the cursed Wood from outside entry?¡± My brilliant watcher asks.


    That makes Usete pause. ¡°I thought they did. The songs aren¡¯t sung by Fae but¡­ but the Hearthfires. Else they¡¯d just get blighted and fade.¡±


    ¡°Are there other routes?¡± She presses. ¡°Secret passages or such?¡±


    ¡°No. That¡­¡± Usete¡¯s eyes narrow thoughtfully. ¡°The Rorliras might have given them a way. But not without Fae song. And they were Riftwalking, not moving through old set tunnels.¡±


    Thendra purred out a laugh, ¡°She¡¯s fed herself to me for weeks. I¡¯ve watched and listened and learned to move with the Fae songs.¡±


    ¡°F¨C fed?¡± I whisper, and everyone pauses. Most in confusion but¡­


    ¡°That¡¯s a good point, beloved. She¡¯s siphoned away your soulfire for years.¡± Tretion nods, then turns to Usete. ¡°Could she have gained things from that? Understanding or abilities? Soul having enough Fae in it to fool a Songward?¡±


    Usete winces. ¡°I honestly don¡¯t know but¡­ The Soul of a Fae is a wonder under normal circumstances. And Lyra¡¯s¡­¡± Their eyes wander up to marvel at my seabed of a soul. ¡°It was already so much more. Even before all this.¡±


    A strange little tingle of something rolls down my spine at that.


    ¡°You said she claimed a godling¡¯s soul?¡± My mother asks. ¡°How did that happen?¡±


    My watcher and Awnya look at me, and I nod.


    Giving them my permission and thanks to share words It would take me till Dream¡¯s End to get out alone.

 Chapter 102: Allowed to be Hurting

    Content Warning:


    RASKA POV!!!  Talk of plural things!


    This¡­ is easier than I expected. Still the worst but¡­ not the twisted horrid experience I thought it would be. Only two of my five flames have the energy to still simmer with quiet annoyance, while two are basically asleep and indifferent. And Peva¡­ my first flame is¡­


    He¡¯s¡­ well, like me. We hate the Fae. But, we¡¯ve spent a bit of time thinking about that. Talking with mind words and feelings and glimmers of memories. Considering if it is worth our energy to try and adjust and change.


    [NEVER forgive!] Peva had hissed.


    Of course. I had agreed. We¡¯ll never forgive the cunts who hurt us or Wren or anybody. But¡­ Awnya didn¡¯t hurt us, and Lyra certainly has done nothing but adore us. Even saved our life from my cousin and killed the horrid sister we were Oathbound to never strike at.


    That had made him growl but... eventually in agreement. [And the rest? Burn and maim and steal their flames!!!]


    I¡¯d sighed. But what about Lyra¡¯s family? Or other Fae that are just¡­ sheltered and ignorant? Do we burn them on sight when an Oath won¡¯t stop us?


    He had chewed on that for a few days, at least. Then, in a late night alone, our thoughts had finally come up from the depths to murmur. [No. We may ember ourselves when there is no threat. BUT, if we ever encounter the ones who hurt us, or this Caravan that was mentioned. We burn them.]


    Agreed.


    So now as we stand off and to the side of this little family gathering, a silent duenna to this reunion, my only fury for what Awnya and Tretion have told me was done to Lyra but¡­ Her wondrous soul wraps around them all with such love and relief. Nothing but happiness radiating from her as tendrils and weird little soul bird things seem to huggle close to everyone. All at once. Even seems to not mind me being brought back for this as they tell the story of Lyra¡¯s final day in Theradas.


    Seems to just be drifting among the emotions their flames burn to. Eyes closed and resting happily as the group¡¯s original topics and worries have drifted into softer things. Discussions of the manor and their people. I caught most of the story when Matron Tretion had the manor call me back. I¡¯d been with her when she moved to greet the three Fae but she''d quickly told me to go wait when the manor alerted her to Lyra rushing toward us at speed.


    So much like an Everflame. All fury and no patience. Passions unbound. And now¡­ Dreadweave¡¯s Tits¡­ her soul tails still do that thing when she¡¯s asleep. Sort of¡­ stilling before just reaching up and swaying back and forth, only clinging to her lovers now. Those... odd little soul companions nuzzling too deep for me to even begin to understand what they are.


    First time she''s felt comfortable enough with me in the room to sleep since we last shared a bed.


    ¡°Duenna Raska.¡± The Matron murmurs softly while turning an eye toward me. ¡°You may retire for the day. Thank you for your vigilance.¡±


    I hesitate, and give a small nod before leaving. Taking the public hallways back to¡­ to give me more time to think. To just enjoy the slow smothering of all the worries this day has eased from me.


    Everyone is safe.


    Awnya made it back with those two, and they seemed to need to hold Lyra as much as she needed to feel their love for her. That thought brings¡­ Uncomfortable comparisons to the front of our mind.


    Peva stirs. Sort of¡­ sensing my anxiety. Radiating warmth and comforts as he lets my muses drop into comfortably chewing on a familiar worry.


    My mothers are probably so furious with me. Abandoning the territory they helped me carve out to just¡­ vanish with the gaggle of Gerlthings I¡¯d brought into my protections. When I¡¯d slipped away with Peva all those years ago they¡¯d just¡­ like they¡¯d been upset, sure. A bit confused that I¡¯d only returned with one additional spark and a new body freshly shifting into girlish shapes but¡­ Such are the temperaments of an Everflame. To wander and burn in odd ways. My transition was unique but¡­ my moms knew better than to bind their children with Oaths they can¡¯t keep. Only ever demanded us swear to not attack our siblings and them unless they struck first.


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    ¡®Family is the first, and should be the last thing your flames blaze for.¡¯ They¡¯d always said. Burning that litany deep into our Amwella from the first days after carving us.


    At least they didn¡¯t like¡­ get upset when they saw how much I¡¯d needed to change myself. I mean¡­ I DID give myself claws and really tough skin and like¡­ improved a ton! Didn¡¯t just grow a nice pair of tits and ass, I gave myself a body that would be good for more than my own indulgences!


    Made it so I could both fuck and fight better than any of their other offspring.


    But¡­ it was all done to serve them. Expand their territory. Burn foes and Blight and traitors. Help them gather enough strength and sparks and partners to rival even Dreadweave¡¯s influence. Force that old cunt to like¡­ respect my mothers.


    Peva rumbles at the mention of the oldest Goddess. [Flame stealing, kin betraying, cold rock bitch!]


    Can¡¯t help but cackle aloud and agree with him. Embracing the warmth of my first flame¡¯s fury as I look up to find our feet have brought us home.


    Wren¡¯s waiting outside for me which is¡­ odd. Green body stills as soon as those gorgeous black orbs she has for eyes lock on mine.


    Hasn¡¯t done anything like this since we first met. And¡­ she has perfect control of her form at all times now so¡­ I can¡¯t tell if¡­


    ¡°Hey cunt.¡± I give her a tired smile. ¡°You alright?¡±


    She just¡­ Stares at me as I slow to a stop a few feet away.


    ¡°Raska¡­¡± She murmurs, and I see now the careful worry and anger and¡­ and even a little fear.


    ¡°What?¡± I ask. ¡°Did I miss a special occasion or¡­ I mean this Oath has a ton of like¡­ last second obligations but¨C¡±


    ¡°Just¡­ tell me why?¡± She sort of¡­ growls. ¡°Why not tell us that Lyra¡¯s here?¡±


    Oh.


    I wince. ¡°Sevy visited?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s still here.¡± Wren corrects.


    ¡°Then¡­ I¡¯ll come back later.¡± I move away to retreat.


    She does her version of a quirk of an eyebrow. ¡°You swore Oaths of secrecy?¡±


    ¡°No. Just¡­ She still hates me. I don¡¯t want to like¨C¡±


    ¡°She came here to talk to all of us.¡± Wren interrupts and moves up to stand in front of me.


    I sigh and run a hand through my hair. ¡°Yeah. Sure. Just¡­ I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m¡­¡±


    That makes her pause. Seeing my struggle to find the right words. So I just¡­ let some of it out. ¡°Lyra¡¯s the reason we¡¯re here. She¡­ she stumbled wounded into my court, and¡­ and then an old lover of her¡¯s came chasing after and¡­ and we came here. I was gonna just leave. Knowing she was finally safe with two girls who REALLY love her and can help her but¡­ but then I saw what this place was and asked for sanctuary. Gave the Matron everything I could to bring us all here.¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t explain why you didn¡¯t tell us any of this.¡± She very nearly growls while a cold hand moves up to grip my cheek and chin in a fury she¡¯s not had for years. ¡°Why you didn¡¯t tell me, Raska? ME!¡±


    My voice cracks like never before as I whisper. ¡°I knew they¡¯d wanna find her and was worried you¡¯d all like want to track her down and¡­ and might¡­¡±


    Wren sighs and rolls those perfect obsidian eyes. ¡°We¡¯re not stupid Raska. We understand how trauma works. If seeing us triggers those memories we¡¯ll stay back.¡±


    I sort of¡­ blubber a few nothing words before finally getting out. ¡°I¡­ yeah. Dreadweave¡¯s Tits. I just¡­¡±


    Then she reaches out and pulls me into a big slurp of a hug as I trail off. My mind and soul a fluttering mess of pain and confusion and¡­ and mostly guilt.


    ¡°You may have hurt her, but you¡¯re allowed to be hurting too.¡± She murmurs.


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ Wren. I can¡¯t¨C¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not excusing what you did.¡± She cuts me off and squeezes tighter.


    Wrapping my blaze of a soul in her chilling love.


    ¡°You need to know that. Know that while what you did was horrid, it wasn¡¯t because you''re some frothing bitch who loves hurting others. You were scared and confused, and had every reason to expect a Fae to block or heal the attack with a song. You can be stupid as all the Dead Cinders, but¡­ not malicious. And those Reavers she stayed with scared even your moms.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t take that excuse.¡± I hiss.


    She pulls back to glare at me. ¡°I¡¯m not excusing what we did, Raska. I¡¯m helping my stupid Everflame understand why she did it. So she can start to forgive herself and make sure to never do that again.¡±


    ¡°We?¡± I growl. ¡°No, Wren. You did nothing. It was me who¨C¡±


    ¡°Exactly.¡± She sighs. ¡°I did nothing. I could have stopped you, easily. Should have made you calm down and even stopped Lyra if she was as horrid as you thought. But I didn¡¯t.¡±


    A long pause.


    ¡°You did stop me, Wren.¡± I whisper as she glares off and away. Rippling in little angry and sad ways that I¡¯ve come to understand is how she cries. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not sure how far I might have gone. How much flame I might have thrown if you hadn¡¯t stepped in.¡±


    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t have broken your Oaths.¡± She waves dismissively.


    ¡°But I would have burned her worse than I did.¡± I hiss. ¡°And she¡­ She¡¯s never healed the burns I gave her.¡±


    That makes Wren pause. She kind of¡­ripples harder than she has in years at that. What would be a choking surprised sob from most.


    ¡°Why?¡± She finally whispers.


    I shrug. ¡°I¡­ Matron Tretion and Awnya say it¡¯s because Lyra thinks she deserved them.¡±


    ¡°Dreadweave¡¯s Tits.¡± Wren spits. ¡°We¡­ Now I¡¯m set on us talking to her.¡±


    That sends such a jolt of fear and surprise through me. ¡°What!?! No, Wren you¡­ she¡­ I¨C¡±


    She wraps a hand around mine and begins to tug fiercely at my arm. ¡°C¡¯mon. We need to share this with the others. At the very least she¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I snap and dig my heels in.


    She halts and looks back at me.


    I sigh and calm my flames. ¡°It''s¡­ I swore an Oath of silence when around her. Tretion and Awnya have told her how I know I fucked up. But¡­ but it needs to be up to her to find and let me apologize.¡±


    And then I draw up the words Tretion told me.


    ¡°She¡¯s healing from a lot worse than what I did.¡± I murmur. ¡°Needs to figure out so much before risking stumbling into old lovers who hurt her.¡±


    That makes Wren pause, sort of¡­ bodily wriggles in consideration. ¡°Good luck convincing Sevy or Zephin of that.¡±


    I shrug. ¡°Matron Tretion says that as long as they¡¯re not like¡­ being stupid they can try and find her. She¡¯s¡­ a lot more than she was, Wren. Not really sure there is anyone here who could catch or bind her if she doesn¡¯t agree to it. And that includes you.¡±


    A long pause, and Wren whispers. ¡°She was never anything but sweet, but those soul tails did almost lash out that first day. Would she hurt them?¡±


    I huff and let some repressed fury spark and flare a bit. ¡°No. But¡­ I¡¯d still ask them to stay away. Let her enjoy the happiness she¡¯s found and¡­ and come find them when she¡¯s ready.¡±


    Wren ripples again, then nods. ¡°You¡­ you go find a quiet place to simmer down. I¡¯ll tell them what you said, and you can warn her lovers if needed.¡±


    I nod and feel so much worry dissipate. ¡°Thank you Wren. So much. I¡­ I love you. You know? I¡¯d be such a mess without you.¡±

 Chapter 103: Souls to Weave and Sparks to Blaze

    <u>Content Warnings</u>:


    Lyra POV followed by Raska POV! AHHH! Memory of coercion that leads into violent sex. Discussion and memories of past sexual assaults and mind manipulations via song magic, Panic attacks.


    I know what she¡¯s going to say. Or¡­ what she¡¯s going to ask. Long before she finally settles into the words to use.


    ¡°Lyra¡­¡± My mother begins. Soul a thrum with¡­ not confidence but¡­ a sort of reflexive sense that this might be the right moment. ¡°Awnya mentioned that you had needed some help remembering your Fae song. But¡­ That she didn¡¯t really know the entire thing and that you were struggling with it.¡±


    Careful. So very gently testing the waters she knows could set to boil at the wrong words.


    I huff. Both glad that she¡¯s finally brought up the courage to ask. But also¡­ not really sure how to answer her when the heart of this is laid bare.


    We¡¯ve spent this first week settling each of my family into a separate garden after Tretion and Awnya had explained a bit about what¡¯s happened and where they are. Helping them introduce themselves to the manor and understand the bubbles it provides. Both had very different reactions.


    Mother had a type of odd annoyance at something being able to possibly muddle her songworkings with its constantly watching everything but¡­ Awnya had the right melodies to show her how wonderful this home is. How it''s kinda like building a house in the shell of a great big turtle with more space than it knows what to do with. It may be aware of our nonsense but¡­ it thinks with turtle thoughts. Will only really care when endangered or asked.


    And once I thought to ask Tretion to bring some of the Brumbling Bees and Wibble Wasps before asking her to help them thrive, mom settled and got really excited at all the little things that needed tending to.


    Usete¡­ hasn¡¯t done much with the one gifted to them. They¡¯ve wove some neat songs and helped the garden grow easier, of course. But¡­ They were more like Awnya and wanted to explore things. Have let their feet take them farther than I can! Tried to actually¡­ like¡­ meet the people here and devote themselves to weaving melodies that can help them. They didn¡¯t have problems with the manor, exactly, just got really curious. Have tried to ask it questions and engage it more.


    I¡¯d be worried if they tried to pester it. But they seem okay to wait a few days between answers to even simple exchanges of greetings.


    ¡°Th¨C thank. B¨C b¨C but N¨C no.¡± I murmur and move to stand. Done trying to weave a better home for this incoming clutch of little bugs I¡¯ve been trying to help her with.


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing wrong with needing help with it.¡± She keeps her fingers moving but¡­ eyes lean up to regard me. ¡°My own mother had to remind me of mine a couple of times.¡±


    Don¡¯t need to even touch her soul to see the questions and worry and¡­ and deep thrumming fury beneath it all. An anger I¡¯m not used to sensing in my mother.


    At me? Maybe. I¡­ I don¡¯t think so but¡­ my first body was something she helped weave. Gave ideas and literally held my hands as the old flesh was melted and torn away. And to see it just¡­ all messed up and scarred must be so upsetting.


    Or¡­ at another? The one who let it happen and loved poking and prodding and even biting at them sometimes. Just¡­ loving to drink in my suffering in my worst moments.


    Like that first night we left Raska¡¯s Rift¡­


    I¡¯d¡­ I¡¯d just¡­ stopped.


    As Bulderii went off to do something stupid Thendra and I both returned to that old wretchedly wonderful manor in Theradas. My Dark Goddess just ruffled my hair and left me swaying in the middle of the bedroom as she went off to take a cold bath.


    Leaving me to drown in the memories of all the lovers I just couldn¡¯t stop hurting.


    She came back to find me curled up in the same spot and digging talons into my burned flesh. Suddenly overwhelmed like¡­ like I had been with my right talon many years ago. But¡­ unwilling to even try and heal it. Devoted to keeping this blighted reminder against my stupid desires.


    I¡­ I expected Thendra to stop me. Or get mad. But she did worse.


    She laughed.


    Such a¡­ a thing that still fills me with such dreadful longing. Wove big strong fingers through my short hair and forced me to look at her. Amwella curling around her prize as she purred so softly. ¡°Would you like me to drag all of their shards from your soul, My Lyra?¡±


    I could do nothing but grit my teeth so hard a few chipped. Glared and¡­ and nodded. My own soul thrumming in spite and fury, fear and pain and¡­ and beginning to echo with that old Dreadsong I¡¯d wailed to break the Dream that keeps taking everything from me.


    Except her.


    And so I let that Dark Goddess once again Reave old parts of another¡¯s flame from my Amwella. Leaving me more broken and near death than the first time. Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t even remember any pleasure in that night!!! Or¡­ or so many others. How¡­ how whatever pleasure was there just¡­ it was smothered by pain.


    ¡­ And yet still I burn to return to that wretched woman¡¯s embrace.


    ¡°Why haven¡¯t you healed yourself, Little Girl?¡± My mother presses so much more gently than I expect.


    I shake my head. ¡°D¨C d¨C doesn¡¯t m¨Cmm¨C matter.¡±


    She winces, formally halts her little humming song and sets aside the nest. ¡°Why not?¡±


    I sigh and look away. So¡­ so tempted leave this. To run. Tretion and Awnya let me if¡­ if things get too much. Some questions are just so exhausting and hard to answer!!! Or they won¡¯t understand them and that¡¯s almost worse. Especially when they¡¯ve done nothing but TRY to understand.


    Never once blaming me for all my stupid mistakes.


    ¡°R¨C re¨C rr¨C re¨C mm¨C mind¨C ing.¡± Is the best I can do.


    ¡°A reminder?¡±


    I nod, keeping my eyes away but¡­ I can see her soul pulse with anger and assumptions.


    ¡°Of what?¡± She almost growls. ¡°And from who?¡±


    Amwella tendrils spread out and flex. Wriggle in annoyance at this. But¡­ Wanting to get it dealt with.


    I glance down to glare at my burned and blackened talon. ¡°St¨C stupid.¡±


    She shakes her head. ¡°You¡¯re not stupid. Never that. Maybe¡­ a little distractible sometimes. But you¡¯ve always been too clever and stubborn by half.¡±


    I don¡¯t reply.


    ¡°I¡­¡± My mother stops, and takes a bit of a deep breath as she works to settle her conflicted soul. ¡°Lyra, I will never forgive myself for not talking with you about your past. Both when you were still learning your Fae songs and¡­ and after you and Usete came back to me.¡± I look back to see her face covered in such sadness and guilt. ¡°I¡¯ve come to realize that we aren¡¯t, The Fae I mean, good at healing certain things. Even things much less horrible than what happened to you. I¡­ I just thought that good songs and peace would do it. But I was wrong. Healing isn¡¯t like singing a home from a kind tree, it¡¯s messy and painful and it¡¯s not a straight line.¡±


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    She¡¯s not wrong but¡­ I mean Awnya told her that I remembered more than she thought and¡­ and I¡¯d avoided talking with her about it all because like¡­ why? What¡¯s the point of it?


    All I deserved.


    ¡°A¨C and?¡± I huff.


    ¡°And¡­ Everyone''s different. Both in the scars and the way they can be helped.¡± She winces, and her pain deepens. ¡°Sometimes those wounds will never heal, and the person has to learn to live around them. Usete taught me that, more than anyone.¡±


    I feel the blood drain from my face as my heartbeat grows loud in my ears.


    ¡°Lyra I¡­¡± She sees my reaction. ¡°I¡­ that¡¯s¡­ You were just trying to protect yourself. I¡¯m not saying otherwise. They¡­ they just struggled and¡­ and I never thought I¡¯d need to learn how to help one of my own like that!¡±


    ¡°Y¨C yeh.¡± I whisper as talons dig into flesh. ¡°S¨C sorry.¡±


    She does move then, but¡­ stops. ¡°I¡­ would you like me to come to you?¡±


    I consider that, and shake my head. But do plop back down on the grass.


    ¡°I¡­ I was trying to explain a thing and stumbled into hurting you again.¡± She whispers. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡±


    I sigh and shrug. ¡°It o¨C oke.¡±


    She huffs. ¡°It¡¯s not but¡­ Thank you. Give me another decade of actually trying and I¡¯ll get a little better at all this.¡±


    A pause, and I move up to pip-pat her hand. ¡°Th¨C thank. F¨C for tr¨C t¨C trying.¡±


    ¡°You''re welcome, Little girl.¡± She smiles, less sadness in it this time. ¡°But¡­ I want you to know that I do remember the song you wove for yourself, if you need it.¡±


    I lean back and look away. ¡°Mebe l¨C later. Mm¨C mebe.¡±


    She tilts her head in worry but¡­ doesn¡¯t push. ¡°Okay. And¡­ and I¡¯d also like to help you get your voice back.¡±


    That makes me jolt to a stop, turn to give her such a look of confusion.


    ¡°Don''t you remember? It was so hard for you to talk when we first met.¡± Her worry twists to have at least a bit of a smile. ¡°All those days spent with me tricking you into singing with me? How eventually your melodies were as clear as the brook you always begged me to let you swim in?¡±


    What?


    My brow furrows as I slowly shake my head. Thinking back to¡­ to try and remember my first years with her. Before I could finish weaving my body and how she was trying to teach me both Fae words and¡­ and¡­


    And how to talk and sing well.


    My shaking head turns to a nodding as some of those old memories return. Painful and almost fresh. Like a game. She¡¯d draw me to feel the words before I spoke them. Ignore the nonsense and just¡­ sing.


    First stupid ugly broken human words but¡­ but always becoming more Fae.


    More perfect. Clear and soft and¡­ and without too much trouble.


    ¡°B¨C but¡­¡± I whisper, curling tighter as the memories flood back.


    All the silly little songs we¡¯d shared. How¡­ how I only near the end realized just why they mattered so much. All the subtle melodies weaving so well to help me figure out how to get words to come out easily.


    ¡°D¨C d¨C diff¨C er¨C ent. N¨C ow.¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡± She agrees and scoots just a little closer. ¡°But¡­ also a bit the same. Pain and horrible experiences made speaking hard then, and¡­ now as well. I think.¡±


    I look down to glare at my flesh. ¡°B¨C be¨C be¨C ca¨C cause H¨C hu¨C human.¡±


    ¡°No. I don¡¯t think so. You¡¯ve always been more Fae than anyone else I¡¯ve known. And If anything, you being Fae makes this worse. You¡¯ve always been so good at turning your desires and Dreams into real things. But that also includes pain. If you believe that suffering is part of what you think you deserve, it''s hard for you to reject it.¡±


    I jerk up to start at her then. Eyes going wide with tears as my mother so easily speaks that old litany of mine. How naked my mind and soul are to her.


    ¡°B¨C but¡­ it is.¡± I whisper thoughtlessly. ¡°All I de¨C de¨C ser¨C ve.¡±


    She sighs and reaches out, lays a hand on a wretched talon. ¡°Everyone deserves to share their soul¡¯s songs.¡±


    I bite my lip, and look down to stare at her hand over mine.


    ¡°Will you let me help you again, little girl?¡± She whispers. ¡°I¡¯d like nothing better than to hear my daughter¡¯s wonderful voice again. Unbroken and clear. Able to share with me whatever she needs to weave out from her soul.¡±


    Can¡¯t stop the tears then, or speak. But¡­ I do eventually nod.


    And I let the wonderful woman who adopted the girl that is me help once again.


    *     *     *


    ¡°FAE USETE!¡± I roar and let my spark hiss and whirl about me.


    [Burn and bite and smother and crush and drink wretched SOUL SPITTING SONG STEALING OATH BREAKING¨C]


    The crowd freezes, and the Fae jerks to glance over their shoulder at me. But¡­ otherwise remains kneeling at the fallen girl¡¯s side, continuing their low humming melody.


    ¡°End. Your. Song.¡± I hiss each word as I approach. ¡°NOW.¡±


    Letting spark roil out and about me like a cloak, flames slowly writhing out to surround this Fae and I from the now quickly dispersing crowd. Flames easily eating the echoing song before it can reach them.


    ¡°Duenna Raska!¡± Comes a shout from a woman rising from beside them to face me. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ They¡¯re helping her!!!¡±


    I jerk to a stop. Senses jerking between the unconscious girl and the horrid Fae.


    Watch in teeth-grinding fury as their song winds their Amwella down into that girl¡¯s soul. All five flames howling for me to engulf this Fae in death.


    ¡°She has these jerking attacks. A sickness that¡­ that overtakes her!¡± The woman stammers out as she moves to raise hands and stand between us. ¡°They¡¯re helping calm them and¡­ and maybe more!¡±


    I stop and fight to reign in my fury, slowly calm my flames to simply act as a low heated barrier to keep the sound of their song contained.


    No. Matron Tretion demanded we refrain from killing anyone. I growl at them, then turn to my first. Peva, keep them quiet.


    He growls in annoyance, but¡­ turns that ire toward his fellow sparks.


    Usete takes a bit but¡­ soon the girl in the Fae¡¯s arms is awake and seems okay. A bit disoriented but¡­ well enough.


    ¡°Is she stable enough to head home?¡± I ask them.


    The woman nods and looks worried between me and Usete as they stand and turn.


    ¡°Should be.¡± The Fae replies. ¡°I¡¯d like to check in later b¨C¡±


    ¡°Good.¡± I cut them off, drawing my flames back to their spot between my horns. ¡°Come with me.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ As you wish.¡± They murmur.


    And I lead them quickly from the streets to one of the service doors. Pull out my keyring, and move us into the empty hallway.


    ¡°Two sections, Fae Usete.¡± I hiss as I slam the door shut.


    ¡°Everflame Raska she wa¨C¡±


    ¡°Duenna Raska.¡± I correct them with a hiss and move past. ¡°And you don¡¯t get to claim that. You¡¯re not a Fae moving between Rifts at your leisure anymore. Ignoring all laws and limits, doing whatever you please. When your host gives you a boundary, you don¡¯t walk past it.¡±


    They quicken their pace to catch up. ¡°Her lover came to me. I was just¡­ it was barely within that community, duenna Raska.¡±


    ¡°Was she on the brink of death?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ no.¡±


    ¡°Then this could have waited.¡± I growl. ¡°You could have arranged for them to come to you or¡­ or asked a duenna for help. Anything but breaking one of the few promises our Matron insisted you keep.¡±


    They remain silent for a long while. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I wasn¡¯t aware th¨C¡±


    ¡°That you¡¯d get caught?¡± I spit. ¡°That you wouldn¡¯t be able to just Songweave the manor into keeping this from us? That there are REASONS she demanded this of you!!!¡±


    ¡°I genuinely did not think it would cause you or anyone this much anger. Not when I was healing one of your residents.¡± They murmur.


    ¡°Dreadweave¡¯s Bane.¡± I growl as we reach a door. I use another key to open another passageway. This one to a large room filled to bursting with a forest within. The private fucking place gifted to an honored guest. ¡°Don¡¯t leave until either the Matron, Awnya, or their manor gives you permission.¡±


    I settle my most scolding of a glare on them, and with the purse of their lips I expect the Fae to¡­ I don¡¯t know. Argue or demand to speak with Matron Tretion or Awnya but¡­ no. They nod and move past. Even try to speak another apology as I slam the door in their face. Let the lock settle before I just¡­


    SCREAM!


    Howl my fury and pain and spite and AND DESIRE TO SEE THAT STUPID FAE BROKEN AND LAID TO CINDERS!!!


    And almost all five of my flames are happy to ignite with me.


    But¡­ We¡¯re more controlled than ever. Even at this moment. Flames only scorch a little of the hallways around as blue iridescence drowns everything for a few seconds. So easily repaired by this amazing manor with but a burp of curiosity for my rage, even before my spark snaps back to me in a sudden and hard display of control.


    The memories only flicker, which is nice. Most are¡­ Are from after anyway. The shame and pain and¡­ and horrid feelings of a different Fae¡¯s itching song draining away as they moved to leave.


    My sudden pleading for them to¡­ to help me change met with just soft laughter and a smirk.


    ¡°You¡¯re cute just like you are, little Cinderkin.¡± They purred, little songs of settling touching my mind and smothering my anything but empty enjoyment of their praise as their eyes rolled up and down my old naked form. ¡°Enjoy the body you got. I know I did.¡±


    And then they left me. Took me hours to recover. To¡­ to realize what they did to me. Amwella had only just sparked a few weeks before and¡­ and I¡¯d¡­ I¡¯d¡­


    Even took my mothers years to understand why I hated the Fae and¡­ and even tease at apologizing for not understanding. How they just¡­ thought that their overly angry child needed a blazing headmate.


    I let out another scream at that. This current one less a burst of fury followed by an ignition that would have burned my old manor to cinders and¡­ more a pained snarl that drags itself into a wail of pain. At¡­ at how long it took me and Peva to understand each other. How for so long we only shared a burning rage. Fought and bit and tore at each other and the flames we gathered. Only in later years as he began to share words with me was I finally able to explain and¡­ and start the path to discover how to burn and melt my flesh into the right shapes.


    So much of¡­ of me wants to do what my sisters did. Surrender myself and just¡­ burn. Let one of these Eversparks take control while I stop being for a while. See if that smothers the pain.


    Stone fingers dig into flesh, chalky blood dribbles¡­


    [Challa¡­] Pevatorii rumbles, fury drowned to cinders as he thrums. [Ember yourself.]


    I sputter at his comforts. Such a warm roiling of real love for the girl he was wrapped throughout. Even¡­ even uses that old word I¡¯ve only heard thrice before.


    ¡°Right. I¡­ I can¡¯t lose control.¡± I hiss. ¡°Not again. Never again. Not¡­ not here!¡±


    [Cold soul?] He proposes.


    Wren?


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not sure.¡± I stammer. ¡°I need to let Matron Tretion know about this and¡­ and then go check on those girls to make sure the Fae didn¡¯t do anything else and¨C¡±


    [House¡¯s Flame will tell her.] He presses. [Go. Before an eruption we cannot contain strikes.]


    I pause and¡­ Oh.


    Oh fuck! Even the four others are chiming at the rising pain and fury that I¡¯m not sure I can stop. Not on my own¡­ Yeah, I need to move.


    Focus on Peva, let him handle some of the simple things. More control than I¡¯d normally give one of the five but¡­ I can trust him. He¡¯s never betrayed me. Is the only flame to ever encourage me to stop and think about a problem rather than burn it.


    Keys opening this same door to our section. Move through the streets with nothing but a blank expression and sizzling spark. Even wear simple smiles to a few people who recognize me and give simple greetings.


    Wish we could just¡­ Shift to her. Like before. But¡­ Matron Tretion said something about how it wasn¡¯t safe. That it won¡¯t work the same here.


    Because we¡¯re apparently inside the belly of some big monster swimming through an ocean of Blight.


    That¡­ I¡¯m not sure I believe her? But¡­ she¡¯s nothing but truthful so¡­ but that¡¯s one of the most insane things I¡¯d ever heard. And also a little too terrifying to think about for more than a few seconds.


    [Here.] Peva prompts, and we look up to see our little odd home amidst these twisting streets.


    Wren¡¯s upstairs sleeping. Slime body curled into such a cute gerlthing shaped puddle on our big bed. Green form flickering with sea-blue hues, indicating that she¡¯s fast asleep. We hesitate at the bed¡¯s edge, spark whirring and sputtering as¡­ as¡­


    I don¡¯t want to wake her¡­


    Peva moves our form a step closer. [Join her form, ember yourself, smother pain.]


    ¡°W¨C wren.¡± We whisper, halting.


    She ripples and stirs, midnight black eyes popping back into place slowly. ¡°Puh?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ Can you¡­¡± I try to force out.


    ¡°Wha?¡± She murples as eyes seem to drift back into sleep.


    ¡°Ember our Raska.¡± Peva thrums through my lips.


    That startles her to swirl into an upright pose. Still sleepy as all the Dead Cinders but¡­ Only twice before has she heard our first flame speak through my lips.


    Obsidian gaze locks on me, quickly takes in my pose and hissing spark and trembling form.


    ¡°Sorry.¡± we whisper.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. C¡¯mere.¡± She murmurs softly while sliding herself over to just¡­ just¡­


    Absorb my everything.


    ¡°What do you need?¡± She whispers as her cool form wraps us. Chilled fingers dancing through messy hair as lips brush against my neck. Her body both soft and solid.


    ¡°To BURN.¡± We hiss.


    ¡°Then do it.¡± She offers, and engulfs me just before that third scream erupts from our lips. What would have been an eruption of pain powerful enough to level this building¡­ kept within her unyielding form.


    The only sign of it¡¯s passing the trembling girlthing my lover embraces close through our agony.

 Chapter 104: Gifting Warmth, Demanding Change

    <u>CW:</u>


    Awnya POV!!! Suicide ideation. Talk of triggers and past assaults. Talking someone out of possible suicide and despair.


    ¡°Usete. Usete. Usete.¡± I chide as I move through the garden. ¡°What are we gonna do with you?¡±


    They¡¯re sitting at the edge of a little creek that runs through it all. Sort of¡­ changed it to spiderweb into a bunch of smaller ones downriver as they¡¯ve waited for someone to come speak with them.


    They turn to regard me just as I plop down, take a second before saying. ¡°Awnya.¡±


    ¡°Heya.¡± I reply, gazing out at the waters and little fish swimming about. ¡°So¡­ You went and thought to explore? Is that it?¡±


    ¡°No I¡­¡± They pause and take a deep breath. ¡°Did Duenna Raska not speak with you?¡±


    ¡°Ah. Nope.¡± I look them up and down performatively. ¡°Well you don¡¯t look burned to ash so¡­ Not the worst first solo impression, at least.¡±


    They wince. ¡°Only just. She was incredibly upset.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s probably an understatement.¡± I sigh. ¡°At least tell me you didn¡¯t just¡­ stumble into her community? Disregarding mine and Tretion¡¯s rules for you and Yuna?¡±


    ¡°No! I¡­ Someone came to me. Asked me to heal a lover.¡±


    I run a hand through my hair. ¡°Ah¡­ Well¡­ That makes this a bit better.¡±


    They sag a bit. ¡°I¡­ She was right though. The Everflame. I should have told them to bring the girl to me. She wasn¡¯t in danger of death.¡±


    ¡°Yup. Pretty stupid thing to do, not gonna lie.¡± I nod, then pause as I realize something. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­ She found you weaving a song over someone. In an area you were told specifically to NOT enter. Didn¡¯t she?¡±


    They nod.


    ¡°Usete we¡­ There are people in those communities that have been hurt, directly, by the Fae.¡±


    That makes their eyes go a bit wide. ¡°I¡­ What? How?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter. We¡¯ve been taking care of people for years, Usete. Souls still healing and¡­ and trying to start lives others stole from them.¡±


    ¡°I would never hurt anyone.¡± They finally push back.


    I sigh. ¡°How do you think Lyra would react if she saw a random Fae wandering about? Or worse, some Reaver?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ That¡¯s not¡­¡± They trail off as I raise an eyebrow.


    ¡°The same? How do you know that?¡± I press. ¡°You know just a little of the Rot Lyra¡¯s had to wade through, can probably guess what¡¯s happened to her. And trust me, Usete, there are people in those communities that had similar done to them by a Fae.¡±


    They jerk to stare wide-eyed at me. ¡°What!?! By one of our kind? As bad as¡­ as Thendra!?!¡±


    ¡°I know you¡¯re aware of the Caravan of Dream Walkers.¡± I let my voice go low and harsh. ¡°Even met a couple of them flitting about. Did you know that some keep people as¡­ as pets? Weave songs to empty their heads and stop them from¡­ from¡­¡±


    I trail off and glare at the waters. Letting the silence thrum with the words I won¡¯t share.


    Not my stories to tell.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡± They say after a long while. ¡°You father always¡­ he told me to stay clear of them. But never really why. I¡­ I didn¡¯t really think much of their strange habits before.¡±


    That makes me wince at the memory of him. ¡°Yeah. Same. He¡­ he kept me well and clear of them when we traveled together.¡±


    Another pause. This one is shorter.


    ¡°I won¡¯t let this happen again.¡± They murmur. ¡°Unless they need to hear it from me, please convey my apologies to the Matron and¡­ and Duenna Raska. While my mistake was one born of stupidity and not malice¡­ I¡¯m more than willing to try and make amends. Prove my goodwill toward them and their rules.¡±


    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    I shrug. ¡°I¡¯ll let em know. But¡­ Honestly we all lucked out a bit. None of her girls saw you and Raska didn¡¯t burn you to ashes.¡±


    ¡°Is¡­¡± They start to ask, then shake their head when I give them a quizzical look. ¡°No. It¡¯s not my place to ask. I don¡¯t have that right.¡±


    ¡°Oh? Ask what?¡± I settle into a more comfy position. One that should sing of subtle forgiveness. ¡°You can ask me pretty much anything, Usete. There are things I won¡¯t tell you but¡­ You¡¯re practically my sibling, what with how you learned so much under my dad and traveled with us so often.¡±


    They take a deep breath. ¡°It seems a sensitive topic, and I know our mother¡¯s no doubt asked but¡­ Why is Lyra half covered in burns? Is something stopping her from healing them?¡±


    I wince. ¡°Well¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits. Yeah. That¡¯s¡­¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to answer.¡± Usete assures me, hands raising in placation. ¡°Please don¡¯t sing of any pain Lyra would rather me not know of.¡±


    I sigh and slump a little. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ll ask. But¡­ Yeah. It¡¯s sensitive. Tretion and I can only get her to open up a little to us. We know the shape of it but¡­ It¡¯s honestly one of the smaller wounds she¡¯s trying to figure out.¡±


    They sigh, tears bubbling in their eyes. ¡°I¡­ Awnya. I¡­ I¡¯m¡­¡±


    I reach out around them, and pull them into a side hug. Can so easily hear the song rising.


    One they¡¯ve wept with me for years now.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± I murmur. ¡°It wasn¡¯t your fault. He¡­ he made his choices.¡±


    My Old Goat. My dad.


    They shake their head. ¡°I did this. All of this. My¡­ my anger at my mother for¡­ when I¡¯d heard other Fae speaking of¡­ of how she was raising some human riven with painful Songs. I thought¡­ We always fought her over my work and then I only saw the insult I wanted to hear! Wove such horrid threats over them both when Lyra would have been NOTHING but a gift to our kind.¡±


    ¡°Will be.¡± I interrupt them.


    They jolt to a stop, turn to stare at me.


    I sigh and give them a good squeeze. ¡°I¡¯m not sure Lyra will want to leave anytime soon but¡­ Someday we mean to explore the Rifts with her. Show her the wonders of the wider Dream. Usete she¡­ I hope we can show you how special she is. Let you hear the songs beneath the pain and witness what she can do.¡±


    Their brow furrows. But¡­ otherwise they remain silent.


    I smirk in memory of her, let my soul thrum as I nuzzle the little smudged love-marks she¡¯s left on my soul. ¡°The Blight is¡­ Usete, she doesn¡¯t just survive it, she weaves it. Drinks it, and those little cuties you¡¯ve no doubt seen swimming about her soul? They¡¯re originally from the Blighted Sea. Given warmth and love and already growing to be such kind little ones despite all the horrific things their mother has survived.¡±


    Their eyes go wide at that. ¡°I¡­ She¡¯s¡­ she¡¯s not just from outside the Dream. Is she?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°Nope. And I¡¯ve not thought to ask Yuna this but¡­ I¡¯m pretty sure she never actually gifted her a Fae Spark.¡±


    Such tears begin to leak from them then. ¡°She¡­ Awnya are you saying what I think you''re saying?¡±


    ¡°Yup.¡± I grin. ¡°My lover, your sister, is more kin to the first Fae than she is to us. A wandering Soul of Fire adopted by your mother and the Dream itself. And¡­ and maybe, if the Rifts are lucky, she¡¯ll one day consider gifting them some of the warmth she burns with.¡±


    Such emotions bleed from them then. Amazement at their sibling, Gratefulness for my sharing, but¡­ also such pain. Shame for their judgment, guilt for their actions, and¡­ oh.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits. That¡¯s not good.


    ¡°I¡­ Thank you.¡± They turn to face the water. ¡°I didn¡¯t deserve to know any of that. Don¡¯t¡­ don¡¯t¡­¡±


    Despair. The single worst thing for a Fae to cultivate¡­


    I take a deep breath, and consider my next words for a good few moments before speaking after they trail off. Needing to¡­ to reject old instincts and teachings. Embrace what this place has taught me.


    ¡°Nope. Not at all.¡± I hum, gently letting a song harmonic to the one bubbling in their heart and soul settle beneath my words. ¡°You messed up, really badly actually.¡±


    They flinch, expression twisting as they jerk to stare at me.


    Not expecting me to so easily agree.


    ¡°And it hurts.¡± I sigh but¡­ refuse to let them go. ¡°In lots of ways, doesn¡¯t it?¡±


    They nod. ¡°I¡­ Awnya I¡¯m not sure I can help her. Or¡­ or that me being here is a good thing.¡±


    ¡°It is.¡± I assure them, and lean into the words I think my dad would have said. ¡°Rot and Ruin, Little Softshell, you¡¯ve no idea how much seeing you did for her. What hearing you apologize healed.¡±


    Can almost see the Old Goat¡¯s grin at my audacity.


    Their eyes go wide. At both me using that name, a thing an elder reaches for when addressing a silly young Fae needing guidance, and my claim.


    ¡°She¡¯s already sleeping better.¡± I forge ahead. ¡°Has actually asked Yuna to help her with Fae words and talking and such. Literally what could have been decades of hard healing gifted in moments.¡±


    Need to give them a Path, chart a course for their pain to follow. Else it will settle and twist to Rot. Could¡­ could lead them to do something stupid that I¡¯m not sure Lyra could ever heal from.


    ¡°B¨C but¡­ you mentioned once that she was starting to explore but¡­ I¡¯ve not even heard an echo of her movements.¡± They whisper. ¡°She¡­ she¡¯s avoiding me and¡­ and I¡­ I don¡¯t want to be an obstacle to her healing.¡±


    Nope, I won¡¯t let even a drop of all our happiness be lost.


    I snort. ¡°That¡¯s because she¡¯s stopped exploring to help your mom in her new garden. Did you know she¡¯s asked the manor if you''re here and working on yours? Is literally waiting for you to settle here so she can help?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ Really?¡± They whisper.


    The hope I can tell sparks is so wonderful to see. But¡­ Not enough.


    ¡°Really. Usete.¡± I move to take up their face in my hands. ¡°She¡¯s always admired you, the first Beloved Sibling she was going to meet. Wanted so much to get to know you. Learn your songs and share her own back.¡±


    Their face scrunches up in pain. ¡°But then I did nothing but hurt her. What if I mess up again? What¡­ what if¡­¡±


    I sigh and give them a glare. ¡°Little Softshell¡­¡±


    They sputter. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ve set a pattern. Easily and so blindly kept wounding her over and over¨C¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not about you!¡± I nearly shout.


    Such a long pause settles.


    ¡°You know the worst pain you could inflict on her.¡± I very nearly growl, but softly.


    They swallow, eyes dart down in shame. Totally not realizing how easily I read them.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been around enough people to know what this song sounds like.¡± I whisper. ¡°What my dad asked her to gift him nearly broke her. Losing Tretion DID break her. And if you walk that path¡­ She might shatter. May even try to follow in her Beloved Siblings footsteps.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I wasn¡¯t¡­ It¡¯s¡­ I just¡­¡± They stammer, and I¡¯m content to let them stumble into the words. Understand the song that tears and snarls. ¡°What if¡­ if this is just¡­ me? What if I can¡¯t do anything but hurt her?¡±


    I snort again. ¡°Then Sing better songs that match the Fae you want to be!¡±


    That¡­ cracks something. But¡­ Needs more pressure. Something else. A light to follow.


    ¡°She may not have learned how to want to be something new from us, but the Fae songs showed her the way.¡± I blaze forward. ¡°But now she¡¯s lost and confused and¡­ and needs us to help her find the girl she wants to be, Usete.¡±


    The freeze, eyes going so wide as tears freely fall.


    ¡°Help us show her that again.¡± I plead, and let my desperation show. ¡°Please. I¡­ We¡¯re going to do everything we can to help her. But¡­ but she still thinks Thendra is all she deserves. Not all the time but¡­ but we can see it. Can feel it. And between us and her Jellyfish we¡¯re starting to crack at it pretty good but¡­ I¡¯m not sure we can make it stick. Not quickly enough.¡±


    ¡°You¡­ you¡¯re worried you don¡¯t have enough time.¡± They whisper back, hands moving up to clutch at my wrists. ¡°Between that terrible Fae hunting her and¡­ and Thendra. You¡¯re worried someone or something will come for her.¡±


    I nod, just¡­ just barely holding back a sudden tremble that rolls through me.


    ¡°What does she need from me?¡±


    ¡°Just love,¡± I reply. ¡°And probably your trust. Show her how smart and wonderful and brave and¡­ and perfect she is. Let her hear how wrong all these other cunts are about her. How wrong you were.¡±


    They nod, and that little spark seems to catch. Still small enough to smother but¡­ their love for their little sister is SO strong. ¡°I can do that.¡±


    ¡°Good. Thank you.¡± I huff and lean back. Releasing them.


    Wait and watch as they gaze out at this new Path and all of the many ways it could twist and wander.


    ¡°I¡­ I think I¡¯m going to spend the next week here. At least.¡± They sigh and nod. ¡°Please let Lyra know and¡­ and that I¡¯d adore her company and help in fostering this Grove.¡±

 Chapter 105: Their Beloveds Bound

    <u>CW:</u>


    Hallucinations, being called an invalid due to trouble talking... LYRA POV! Talk of PTSD things and possibly never healing... bloody blood brands.... and worry that children will experience your trauma!


    Today was such a good day. Got to snuggle in before having such a nice breakfast with both Tretion and Awnya, helped my mother settle another nest of Wriggle Wasps, and¡­ and even got through a few complete songs out! Only a little stuttering and¡­ and even started learning a few new words! And all that before coming here to help my beloved weave Blight into useful things!


    But¡­ The howls start up again just after Tretion speaks the words, and I have to squeeze my eyes shut as I weave the Blight into the maybe parts of my Amwella. This time they¡­ they feel so much more real than before. Seeming to tear and claw at my mind and soul like the old Nightmares did. Fraying the edges of the melody¡­


    ¡°Beloved?¡± Tretion calls out. ¡°What is it?¡±


    I grind my teeth and shake my head. Unable to¡­ to even try and tell her while my everything focuses on the song.


    Can¡¯t¡­ No. I need to do this. Weave more supplies for our home! Tretion¡¯s counting on me!!!


    ¡°Let it go.¡± She offers as the manor¡¯s bubbles gather close. ¡°It¡¯s okay our home can¨C¡±


    Another shake of my head as Jellyfish gurgle and curiously nuzzle me. Seemingly¡­ Well, at least this isn¡¯t bothering them. My own stupid broken mind¡¯s cruel nonsense and nearly escaping blight.


    And then, from the corner of my eye and only really noticed by my old horrid instincts¡­


    A shadow moves.


    That¡­ does make me sputter out and release the Blight I¡¯ve gathered. Hissing and spitting and growling as I drop it. Kinda falling into a scrambling mess as the manor swoops in to clean up my mistake.


    Caught between wanting to leap onto this threat and run from this wretched and horrid and biting and hissing and¨C


    ¡°Beloved!¡± Tretion moves to kneel at my side, the Blight already gone and gobbled up by our wonderful home.


    ¡°Sh¨C sh¨C sha¨C shad¨C¡± I blubber as I stare wide eyed at the thing.


    Too many arms. Too many EYES!!! Countlessly writhing and twisting and¡­. And glaring and growing teeth and¨C


    Tretion reaches out to touch my face. ¡°Lyra. Come on. Look to me. I¡¯ve got you. You¡¯re safe. Take hold of my soul. ¡±


    No! I¡­ I can¡¯t!


    Won¡¯t!!!


    Never again will I reach for her when one of these Nightmares bubbles up!!!


    Curling my seabed of a soul close I give her the barest shake of my head as such anger rises in me at¡­ at what this thing reminds me of!!! Of¡­ of an old Matron¡¯s corpse and¡­ and even The old shadows I¡­ I killed!?!


    I push free of Tretion¡¯s arms and stand. Growling and hissing and rumbling a song of fury at¡­ at this stupid ugly thing that thinks to crawl up from the muck of my mind and soul and make me mess this all up!!!


    The manor needs food things and water things and¡­ and I won¡¯t let this old shadow stop me!


    ¡°Wh¨C Lyra what are you seeing?¡± Tretion asks. Soul betwixt worry and¡­ and pride and my anger?


    ¡°O¨C old Sh¨C sh¨C shadow.¡± I murmur as I move to stand over the odd bubbling mass. Even more furious as the words keep falling apart.


    Now even has weird hands and like¡­ a chest and¡­ huh¡­ Is less of a shadow and more of a weirdly lithe girlthing?


    Still glaring at me though. Every eyestalk tilting up. But¡­ no Amwella smothering pressure.


    I flare out my tendrils and growl a song of warning. Tempted to like¡­ try and attack but¡­ It¡¯s just a¡­ what did my Watcher call it? Trauma induced¡­ um¡­ no¡­ that¡¯s¡­. Um¡­


    Doesn¡¯t matter. This watcher lady before me isn¡¯t real. No matter how much my stupid brain tells me she is.


    ¡°G¨C go a¨C AWAY!¡± I hiss.


    The shadow flinches, turns to stare face eyes up at me.


    ¡°You might see or hear people who¡¯ve hurt you, but¡­ also others. Faces of those you had to kill and consume.¡± My Watcher had warned me. Tip-tapping on a small stack of books next to us she¡¯d spent the past weeks going through.


    ¡°Why?¡± I managed after a few tries.


    She sighed. ¡°It¡¯s just¡­ how the mind tries to process what might be flaring up from your soul. Attempting to filter or process.¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C when stop?¡±


    A look of pain on her face bubbled up such a muck of worry in my chest. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not going to lie to you, beloved. They may never stop. In fact they could get worse. May fluctuate in intensity and seemingly at random for the rest of your life. I¡¯m hoping the peace, healing and the soft Amwella you gather here will soothe it but¡­ The final soul you consumed worries me.¡±


    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.


    The Amwella of a Godthing.


    But¡­ I don¡¯t know who this is!


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Tretion urges. ¡°We¡­ You should ignore it. Come sit with me and focus on calming.¡±


    I poke at the weird lady in front of me with a tendril. But¡­ nothing. No resistance. No Soul. Not real. Even if she seems to flinch and stumble a bit.


    So with a sigh I turn back to¨C


    [Wh¨C where are we?] The shadow asks in such an odd tone. Seems to come from both where she kneels and from behind me and inside me.


    I pause, tilt my head at the strange calm of this.


    ¡°Lyra?¡±


    ¡°T¨C talk t¨Ctalking.¡± I murmur, turning back to see my watcher¡¯s eyes narrowed in worry and confusion. ¡°A¨C as asssking qu¨C qu¨C question.¡±


    ¡°What question?¡± Tretion asks at the same time the shadow huffs.


    ¡°Wh¨C wh¨C where a¨C are w¨C we.¡± I convey.


    [Oh¡­ Well isn¡¯t THIS wonderful.]


    Turn back to see the shadow in the shape of a watcher twist to sit cross legged. Head tendrils wiggling about in¡­ well they aren¡¯t as expressive as Tretion¡¯s. But I think that¡¯s annoyance?


    [The absolute fool let an invalid kill her.] She rubs her temples with two of her four hands.


    ¡°In¨C in¨C inva¨C llll¨C¡± I try to repeat. Unsure of the word but¡­ pretty sure she¡¯s being rude.


    [Yes. Dreadweave¡¯s Bane. In- va- lid.] She sighs and glares. [Means I can tell how stupid you are from just how you talk.]


    I narrow my eyes and glare right back. Take a rolling step toward the shadow as a growl bubbles up. She flinches but¡­ only a little. Otherwise just rolls eyes up and down me, before looking past.


    [Oh! And a half-brewn! Isn¡¯t this a delightful mess] The shadow laughs. [Doubt you¡¯ll last a handful of days before she kills you and someone worth my time gathers up the Flame.]


    Tendrils writhe in anger as my Jellyfish hiss with me. Furious that some part of my own mind would think to insult my brilliant watcher and imply she wou¨C


    ¡­ Wait.


    What?


    I jerk to stare at my Jellyfish, my¡­ my family letting out sounds of warning like they haven¡¯t done since¡­ since that first time I woke up here and Awnya scared them and¡­ and they seem to be staring right at this shadow!!!


    ¡°N¨C no.¡± Is all I can whisper, legs unconsciously backing us away.


    The shadow¡¯s eyes roll over me and my family. [Such an odd shape to your soul though¡­ Would have never guessed that Reaver could groom something like that. Especially from a Fae she¡¯s broken.]


    I¡­ I¡¯m infecting them with¡­ with my¡­ my brokenness and¡­ and¡­


    ¡°Tr¨C tretion.¡± I hiss, and only know my beloved¡¯s attention snap to me due to my Amwella sense. ¡°H¨C help.¡±


    She¡¯s moving without hesitation, to my side. ¡°What do you need?¡±


    No.


    Tendrils snap out and gather up my clutch, my children. Give them one last big snug of a hug. Gurgle love and thanks and¡­ and apologies.


    Won¡¯t let them get hurt.


    And I¡¯m turning to shove them into my brilliant Watcher¡¯s soul.


    She gasps, stumbles, and I have to catch her as their weight and little struggles are¡­ they¡¯re too much! Too heavy! Can¡¯t¡­ and now they¡¯re upset and swimming back and¡­ and¡­


    ¡°Pl¨C pl¨C please?¡± I ask my watcher and Jellyfish both, talon reaching out to gently rake across soft scales. ¡°N¨C need th¨C them s¨C safe.¡±


    Tretion¡¯s gaze flits between them and me. ¡°Lyra I¡­ I don¡¯t think I can hold them. And¡­ and we need to handle this together.¡±


    ¡°Th¨C th¨C they c¨C can s¨C see sh¨C sh¨C sha¨C¡± I let out a little whimpering sound as I fight so hard to keep my clutch shoved close to her.


    ¡°They can see it? This shadow?¡±


    I nod while trying to growl little demands for them to stay and be safe and¡­ and¡­ but they won¡¯t LISTEN!!! Keep shoving into my tendrils and fighting to swim back into my Amwella!!!


    But¡­ I can make them stay.


    ¡°Tr¨C tr¨C trust?¡± I whisper to my watcher.


    Tretion jolts to a stop, eyes locking on me as my talon settles on that old faded scar.


    Have known these songs for that longer than almost any other.


    ¡°Don¡¯t leave me.¡± My brilliant Watcher whispers, soul and tendrils writhing in such fear. ¡°Please. Not again.¡±


    I whisper so softly and in a single try. ¡°Promise Promise.¡±


    A heart passes, then a second as she takes in a deep and calming breath. ¡°You¡­ You won¡¯t run?¡±


    Nodding I force out. ¡°I st¨C stay. J¨C just¡­ just want J¨C jell¨C Jellyfish s¨C sss¨C safe w¨C w¨C with you.¡±


    Her hand wanders up to cup my wrist. Not¡­ not to stop it but¡­ but to support me as a tremble rolls through it. Brilliantly knowing what I¡¯m asking. ¡°Then of course. Your children are always welcome in my arms and soul.¡±


    Bite my lip so hard it bleeds as I whisper such a scary question. ¡°M¨C mm¨C mebe¡­ O¨C ours?¡±


    Tretion¡¯s eyes go wide, brimming with tears as her soul thrums with such joy and warmth and delight at that. So much that even our annoyed little clutch stops to consider that yes¡­ maybe my watcher¡¯s soul might be a good place to snuggle right now.


    A pause, and then she¡¯s pulling me into such a kiss, pressing my talon into the old scar so hard blood starts to leak.


    And through it I¡¯m humming a song as my talon rakes a weaving into her. A Lamentation like I¡¯ve never sang. One born of love and hope and¡­ and such thrumming desire to see those who care for me safe. A beacon to our children to lead them to their second mother.


    My Beloved, Bound Forevermore.


    Tretion lets out such a gorgeous sound. A little laugh of delight as the song fades and the Jellyfish turn to regard and snuggle her again. Still a little annoyed that I¡¯m not letting them come huggle with me but¡­ happy at how this familiar soul shimmers and echoes with my love.


    ¡°Thank you. So much.¡± Our Watcher whispers, wrapping me in her arms and pulling me close to snuggle with them all. Tendrils of flesh and soul encasing us. ¡°I¡­ I never¡­ never thought to¡­ to even consider ever even trying to weave a child. Not after all my own familys¡¯ mistakes.¡±


    I murmur and squeeze her back. ¡°Th¨C thank y¨C you.¡±


    But¡­ There are still too many and¡­ and Tretion¡¯s soul is getting a bit smothered. Nothing dangerous. Never that. Moving and like¡­ doing stuff will be hard and distracting though¡­


    So¡­


    ¡°Awnya?¡± I pull back and whisper.


    A pause and¡­ and my brilliant Watcher nods. ¡°I¡¯ll ask the manor to call her here.¡±


    So we sit and wait while the shadow just¡­ stares. Eyes rolling over our little huggle with such a strange expression and little odd swaying of her tendrils. One I¡¯m not sure I like more than what she wore before.


    And soon our Fae girl arrives, and the shadow¡¯s many eyes go wide, but¡­ otherwise she stays silent.


    ¡°Hey.¡± Awnya murmurs, kneeling close. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°Lyra¡¯s¡­ Experiencing something. Could be trauma or¡­ or worse. But she asked me to help keep our young safe while she comes to grips with it.¡±


    Our young.


    Awnya notices the new word and silly mupple of Jellyfish crowding Tretion¡¯s soul and¡­ and the little thrum that pulses through her and them. Eyes go wide.


    ¡°H¨C help t¨C too?¡± I reach out and taking up her hand.


    Such a¡­ a sudden and wonderful smile consumes her. ¡°Y¨C yeah. Dreamer¡¯s Tits. Of course! I¡­ I didn¡¯t even¡­ like¡­ what do you need from me?¡±


    Tretion touches her still blazing scar, smiles so softly. ¡°Just this, and a kiss if you''re as bold as I was.¡±


    Awnya nods and settles to sitting cross legged before me. ¡°Where does it need to go?¡±


    I sway to and fro, shaking my head and working so hard to remain stable as I watch her Amwella thrum and radiate with desire and joy and¡­ and love. ¡°N¨C no m¨C mm¨C matter.¡±


    She nods, then tip-taps the spot on her own neck, opposite to Tretion¡¯s. ¡°Then let''s make a matching set.


    I swallow and nod.


    Deep br¨C


    And of course our wonderful Fae sweeps me into a kiss. Hands reaching up to run through my hair as I etch the matching Lamentation. Only twisting and changing the melody a little to¡­


    Our Beloved, Bound Forevermore


    We¡¯re both dizzy with each other as the melody settles. Only aware of the rush of little Jellyfish as they coo and gurgle happily at the new song that rings out from one of their favorite snuggler¡¯s Amwella. Splitting them almost perfectly and evenly between my wonderful lovers.


    They all still seem to¡­ to want to come back to snuggle into my soul but¡­ a good nudge and little request and they flutter over to nuzzle with one of their two new mothers.


    ¡°I¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± Our Fae huffs. Still a bit unsteady.


    ¡°Th¨C thank you.¡± I murmur to my Beloveds Bound as I turn to look at the shadow again.


    She¡¯s¡­ odd.


    Realer now than before.


    Tall, like our Tretion, and with a head full of tendrils that end with the eyes of a Watcher. But¡­ she has four arms. Each seems to bear seven fingers too.


    ¡°Can you describe what you see, beloved?¡± Tretion asks.


    ¡°W¨C watcher.¡± I murmur as I scoot to get a clear view of the shadow. ¡°F¨C fo¨C four arms. Br¨C brown eyes. D¨C dark gr¨C green skin. And¡­ R¨C rude.¡±


    The shadow grins and chuckles at that, but¡­ still only observes. Doesn¡¯t speak.


    ¡°Alright.¡± Awnya glances over but¡­ eyes don¡¯t seem to notice the shadow. ¡°So¡­ What do we do? If this is um¡­ Well honestly this seems pretty calm for a trauma response. She¡¯s not screaming or¡­ or other things?¡±


    I shake my head.


    ¡°That sounds like a really unique look to have¡­ Do you recognize her?¡±


    Another shake.


    ¡°It does seem unlike anything else she¡¯s dealt with.¡± Tretion murmurs, ¡°And our children could see it. Hissed and grew upset when Lyra did.¡±


    Awnya nods, soul murples with a little worry but¡­ such snuggles from my children settle it to careful considerations. ¡°That¡¯s why you wove the Lamentations.¡±


    I nod. ¡°K¨C keep s¨C ss¨C safe. P¨C please.¡±


    ¡°Always.¡± Our Fae agrees. ¡°And¡­ Honestly? Good thinking. It¡¯s best you don¡¯t have to worry over them while we figure this out.¡±


    And then with Jellyfish safely nuzzled in their new mothers¡¯ Amwella, I turn to face one of my Nightmares.

 Chapter 106: Shiftings In The Sapana

    <u>CW:</u>


    Violence. Talk of lost memories and rebirth and torturing a Fae you''ve staked to a tree. Bulderii POV!!!


    ¡°Wake up, Fae.¡± Purrs Undreka to our prize, moving to kneel before her.


    The Tigress might have opened her eyes but¡­ Our Hr?daya tore them all out by root and stem.


    Keeping to the grim humor of the title bestowed the day her little wretch slew the Matron.


    The Fae¡¯s flesh and bones pop and groan, a rasp of attempted song twisting from her throat but¡­ no magic. Not a single note of melody escapes her throat.


    The arrows we¡¯ve staked her to the tree with ensure that. This Form halfway between her war-shaping and soft Fae one. Limbs broken and twisted at horribly painful angles that refuse to let her heal without tearing herself apart.


    ¡°I have questions, and you will answer them.¡± Undreka says with such soft calm. ¡°If your answers please me, then I will free you.¡±


    A low growl rumbles up in the Fae, but is choked by pain when she tries once again to weave her healing tune.


    My fellow Reaver chuckles and reaches up to grip one of my arrows. ¡°Trying to sing us a song? Fae?¡±


    Then she twists the arrow, and the Tigress howls in such pain.


    The Wood around us trembles.


    ¡°I am patient, and wouldn¡¯t mind more of these delicious songs.¡± Undreka growls. ¡°Feel free to ask and I can drown you in the proper inspirations for them.¡±


    The Fae goes still and silent for a long while, then rasps through torn throat. ¡°What questions? And for their answers you¡¯ll gift me freedom?¡±


    ¡°Truthful answers, Fae. No lies or deceptions.¡± Undreka purrs. ¡°For them, I will free you.¡±


    The Fae hisses. ¡°Not freedom from life, mind you. You will release me from these bonds and let me venture forth under my own power. No tricks to slaughter me afterwards, from you or those others who I fought.¡±


    Undreka glances back to where I stand vigil, and our Hr?daya sits on a fallen tree their conflict broke. Thendra nods, face a blank thing of pitch purpose in the gloom of this broken Rift¡¯s weeping sigh.


    ¡°All here and within our power agree, Fae.¡± Undreka twists back to face her. ¡°Do you accept these terms?¡±


    ¡°I will, but first release me from these¨C¡±


    But she is cut off when the Reaver strikes one of the arrows again, sending the Fae into spitting and growling sounds of pain.


    And the Rift weeps at her cries.


    ¡°No, only after answering us will you be free of this.¡± Undreka murmurs, settling to sit comfortably in the blood soaked grass. ¡°Do you accept these terms?¡±


    The Fae stills from the pain she drowns in, then nods. ¡°I accept. Ask, then set me free.¡±


    And so starts the aimless questions.


    What is your name, and why do you hunt this prey?


    How many Fae are searching? Are there any roaming Theradas?


    What are the names of your current Elders, and where do they nest?


    Who is the Fae Envoy to Ukalon? To Dreadweave?


    Where are the Scrolls of Rime?


    Which Everflame have you commissioned to hunt in the Obsidian wastes?


    Do you know which Rift the Fae you seek sleeps in?


    On and on and on. Almost a full day of questions that aren¡¯t questions. And answers that make me almost balk at her ignorance. Many times the Fae resists answering or claims confusion or lack of knowledge. Undreka hurts her then, tears more echoing screams from the wood around but¡­ soon moves on. Seeming content with the truths given.


    This Fae never sought to master even the foundations of lying, must have spent many cycles just¡­ basking in the hunt. Engorged on old instincts and blood.


    So blind to anything and everything without. Only barely noticing the shiftings in the Sapana.


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    Which is why she was kept secluded, I would hope. A flesh-eating songstress cannot be allowed to wander their peaceful Woods, much less the wider Rifts.


    Else the Rot and Ruin follow and use her as a vessel to infest the ¡®Dream¡¯. Maybe even eventually leading her to develop the same tastes as Thendra¡¯s wretch.


    ¡°Why¡­¡± The Fae finally asks a question after Undreka goes silent for about a hundred heartbeats. ¡°Why follow that broken Fae? It¡¯s only a matter of time before she cracks and rots.¡±


    Follow? So¡­ Thendra was right? They¡­ they really think we belong to her and not the other way around?


    ¡°Oaths kept, and a wondrous bounty of Soulflame left in her wake.¡± Undreka lies with such ease. ¡°Not to mention the spoils to be gained in the madness following a Godthing¡¯s death.¡±


    The Fae grinds her mismatched teeth. ¡°Scavengers then? From how well you laid that trap and fought I¡¯d thought better of you lot.¡±


    Undreka laughs. ¡°There are different ways to hunt prey. So long as they lead to the feast the method is of little consequence.¡±


    A pause¡­ and the Fae seems to look past Undreka. Not¡­ not quite on target but¡­ senses are good enough to let her know where our Hr?daya sits. ¡°I noticed that curse on your chest.¡±


    Thendra hides it well, but I can sense her amusement at the Fae¡¯s coming bleating ignorance.


    ¡°She bound you with that, didn¡¯t she?¡± The Fae states, ¡°My kind can sing it away, if you offer her to us.¡±


    Undreka barks out a laugh. ¡°Unwind the cursed binding laid by a Godthing and Fae? How?¡±


    The Fae does her best to shrug. ¡°She won¡¯t be singing for long, and once her will is blighted away it¡¯s melody in the Dream will weaken.¡±


    Undreka seems to consider that. ¡°We¡¯ll weigh the options. But now It¡¯s time for us to keep our Oaths.¡±


    A tense pause passes, then Undreka rises. Begins to pull my arrows free and let the Fae slump to the forest floor. ¡°You are free to return to your people, but weakened. I¡¯d recommend not trying to hunt us or the Godthing you seek again.¡±


    Then my old equal turns, and approaches us. Even absently reaves a Riftwalk to the city drowning in Sand and Spice before even our Hr?daya can rise. No words are spoken, but the message is as clear as the Shattered Sapana.


    A show of how easily she handles her Soulflame.


    We leave without even glancing back at the slowly healing Fae as the Riftwalk closes. Now left standing on the outskirts of Theradas. Almost¡­ almost too close to the bleeding edge of the Rift. The air here is spiced heavy with encroaching Blight.


    Undreka walks ten long paces ahead of us, then turns and drops this pretense. All fa?ade of calm control emptying away so she can glare openly at Thendra, eyes dancing as they play over the cursed mark and the soul within our Hr?daya.


    Because just like when she first arrived back here with me, it isn¡¯t stinging. No drain. Not even a hint of weeping from that old curse. It just¡­ sits inert.


    ¡°Why?¡± Undreka hisses.


    Thendra raises an eyebrow and lets a smirk touch her lips. ¡°Why what?¡±


    Undreka growls and rolls a step forward in such a warning of fury.


    Thendra spreads her arms in answer, and purrs gently. ¡°Test me then.¡±


    A heartbeat, and I¡¯m leaping away as hard and fast as I can. Even¡­ even letting odd shapes rip and pierce through my flesh to give it the speed needed to avoid being caught in this.


    Because by the time I feel safe to turn and watch at least a dozen shockwaves of force have rolled over my form. My bow is already strung and half drawn but¡­ Thendra wouldn¡¯t want me to help, even if it seemed she might lose.


    Undreka let herself shift too. Naranggas bathed in fury and soulflame and as real to the sands around as the souls within. All tooth and claw and edges sharper than anything forged in the Rifts bearing down and trying so hard to Reave while her flesh twists and writhe into monstrous shapes.


    But¡­ Thendra doesn¡¯t need to match that. Doesn¡¯t shed the flesh she wears or even spark a single Naranggas with flame to answer her old Reaver¡¯s snarls.


    The sand that erupts from around them blocks my view for a time. Dirt so smothering in the spiced blight that only my Naranggas can track the conflict.


    It doesn¡¯t take long though. A few cracks of thunder and wroth, more snarls, and such¡­ such bellowing laughter, and what was a storm settles into more muted growling sounds. Soon I see Thendra wrapped around Undreka¡¯s back. Huge arms binding throat and a limbs while legs pin her prey, and all around them blazing Naranggas are bound by the Hr?daya¡¯s invisible ones.


    And still¡­ that old curse doesn¡¯t even prick at Thendra¡¯s soul.


    ¡°End it!¡± Undreka hisses.


    Only a soft chuckle is her answer.


    More struggles but¡­ even like this. Ten years of engorging herself on warm Hearthflame and cultivated fury, Undreka is held completely in our Hr?daya¡¯s grasp and will.


    Thendra purrs, solidifying her grip and touching teeth to an ear.


    Undreka freezes, Blazing Naranggas fading back into invisible death as she glares ahead. ¡°Why!?! Why am¡­ am I not dead!?! How is that curse more real than before but not stinging you!?!¡±


    Thendra chuckles. ¡°Have I ever wanted you anything but what you choose to be?¡±


    Undreka snarls again, struggles but¡­ but its such a weak thing. More a reflection of the conflict in her soul than a real desire to break free.


    By the time she stills, her reply is barely a whisper. ¡°Is that what you told the others? Right before you fed them to that thing?¡±


    ¡°Aaaah¡­ That¡¯s what makes you so wrothful. Filled to bursting even.¡± Thendra murmurs. ¡°Since when have you cared to see our brood recall our oldest Oaths?¡±


    ¡°You never let them.¡± Undreka hisses.


    Thendra sighs then, seeming to bear real melancholy even. ¡°I have¡­ and they always grow into what you¡¯ve seen. Stupid, regardless of years. Ravenous, despite the endless feasts. And aimlessly cruel, no matter how much some try to teach them otherwise.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t believe that.¡±


    Our Hr?daya leans closer to whisper. ¡°Only you and Bulderii burn with anything else.¡±


    The look that crosses Undreka¡¯s face is such a ravaged thing, an expression of pain and hope and fury and such deep and riven sadness. Only torn away when Thendra quickly and suddenly releases her. Deftly nudging her to slump forward into the sand as Our Hr?daya rises.


    Undreka jerks to stare as Thendra walks away. ¡°You¡­ Just like that? You¡¯re going to let me go?¡±


    Thendra pauses, spares Undreka barely a glance over her shoulder. ¡°I can do nothing else.¡±


    ¡°What!?!¡± Undreka hisses.


    ¡°Follow me if you will, and I¡¯ll make use of you.¡± She purrs so gently while continuing toward the city. ¡°Or¡­ Wander the Sapana alone.¡±


    Undreka doesn¡¯t answer. Refuses to move. Just¡­ stares at Our Hr?daya as I shift myself back into a Reaver and catch up.


    We walk a long while, and only ask after I¡¯ve glanced back to see Undreka gone. ¡°Was this wise?¡±


    Thendra¡¯s expression has lost all good humor and turned to a quiet thing of unreadable contemplation. Her only reply is a rumble from the pit of her gut.


    ¡°This number of loose threats will cause many unforeseen consequences¡­ barely predictable souls gnashing at your heels.¡± I murmur. ¡°Why set another rival into the Rifts?¡±


    She doesn¡¯t answer at first, walks another few hundred paces before murmuring. ¡°Old memories, many unseen, rise to the surface. Always.¡±


    That¡¯s¡­ more of an answer than I was expecting, and I can¡¯t help but slow as I take that all in.


    ¡°And¡­?¡±


    She sighs, ¡°There is a reason you¡¯ve always been my Dead-claw, Bulderii.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ you meant what you said then?¡± I press, feeling emboldened by her leaving Undreka alive. ¡°We never change? That wasn¡¯t some lie to twist her.¡± I halt. Insisting we stop. ¡°To twist me.¡±


    She only slows after ten long paces, doesn¡¯t even turn back when she silently murmurs. ¡°Sometimes¡­ The unexpected strikes and I thought one of you would. But¡­ in ways both small and large you only and always become more of yourself.¡±


    I just¡­ stare at her still back. Mind and flesh and Naranggas writhing in¡­ in her words.


    ¡°Then¡­ Why keep me alive?¡± I hiss. ¡°Why not let that wretched thing eat me too?¡±


    She glances back at me then. ¡°You always ponder over questions you know the answer to.¡±


    I growl. ¡°Answers mean different things when spat from different lips.¡±


    She shrugs. ¡°I¡¯ve given it, now¡­ either walk with me or wander alone.¡±


    I consider heading back to track Undreka. To¡­ to find her and ask questions and¡­ And what? Wander alone till something kills us and we¡¯re returned to the pit to forget again? Try to slay Thendra and take control of her and the others?


    All that feels so¡­ pointless.


    An old promise bubbles at the edge of my mind. Formless and without words. Something beyond even my longbow¡¯s great reach.


    ¡°Tell me you¡­¡± I stammer, fighting to grasp at the fleeting thing. ¡°That¡­ That you¡­¡±


    Can¡­ What?


    Something cracks, and I jerk up to find her looming. Jade eyes and soul are boring into me.


    ¡°I keep my Oaths, Bulderii.¡± Thendra purrs. ¡°Always.¡±


    And I know then, like always and forever, I can do nothing but follow my Hr?daya.

 Chapter 107: Those Trapped Within

    Content Warnings:


    Lyra POV, Then Tretion POV! Talk with a new headmate. Attacking a headmate and eating them. Mention of past a Sexual Assault.


    ¡°What¡¯s the plan?¡± Awnya murmurs as I stare at the shadow.


    ¡°Well¡­ the first thing is to make sure this is a manifestation of the soul, and not the mind.¡± Tretion replies.


    I turn so I can keep an eye on both my lovers and the shadow. ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°It can hear us, correct?¡±


    I nod. ¡°A¨C and see.¡±


    Tretion rises then, and moves to one of the closest tables. Takes up some notebooks and quills before moving to sit with us again.


    I¡¯m lost as to what she¡¯s thinking, but our Fae¡¯s eyes dance with understanding as she whispers. ¡°Ooooh. That¡¯s a good idea.¡±


    Tretion shrugs, turns to face the general direction of the shadow she can¡¯t see. ¡°May we ask your name?¡±


    The shadow smirks. [Tell her¡­ ¡®Your¡¯s first, Half-Brewn.¡¯]


    I hiss, but¡­ repeat her question. Albeit with a few extra stammers and murmured apology at what seems to be an insult.


    But our watcher doesn¡¯t seem too upset. Answering politely. ¡°I am Matron Tretion, granddaughter to Detlina.¡±


    [A Matron? But I don¡¯t see a brood about.] The shadow quirks an eyebrow. [Did you lose the art of crafting daughters in whatever horrid twisting made you a Matron?]


    ¡°Was yours so degenerated that basic pleasantries were forgotten?¡± Our watcher replies to the questions I repeat. ¡°I¡¯ve given you politeness. Offer us it¡¯s like in turn.¡±


    The shadow sighs. [It was, but I¡¯ll not have it be said my manners were lacking. I was and am Muphrel, daughter to Phrot. And a past Goddess of Theradas.]


    I feel my own eyes go wide, and sputter more than usual to get her words out. Expect our Watcher to balk but¡­ she only nods and jots down my words. Awnya purses her lips, but¡­ otherwise seems only¡­ only¡­


    [Ah¡­ They¡¯d already put things together.] The shadow smirks while resting her chin on steepled fingers.


    ¡°Muh!?!¡± I turn to look between them. Such sudden worry and fear and¡­ and bubbling furious somethings rising up.


    ¡°It¡­ Was one of multiple possibilities. Many worries about what your consumption of the mantle could mean.¡± Tretion murmurs. ¡°That¡­ that some past godthings might be imprinted or¡­ or trapped within the mantle once it passes.¡±


    ¡°Would explain why they are always such cruel monsters.¡± Awnya growls. ¡°Getting haunted by those old horrors. Probably even gifted like¡­ old nasty magics too.¡±


    Such a tremble rolls through me as¡­ as the last god¡¯s final words flash through my mind.


    ¡°Wonderful.¡± They hissed, voice a small and almost singular thing. ¡°Such a delight. Let¡¯s hope they are kinder to you than they will be to me. I¡¯d hate for you to choke on them, little Fae.¡±


    My eyes drifted open, fresh and healed from the venom that melted them. Just as one of their hands drifted up, cupping my cheek as they whispered so softly. ¡°Can¡¯t wait to¡­ to dance with you ag¨C¡±


    But in a flash of sudden rage one of my Naranggas snatched up my discarded soul tearing blade and slammed it down into the god¡¯s heart and soul. Splitting and Reaving them from the Dream.


    ¡°F¨C Fuuur¨C Furtho¨C nois.¡± I growl.


    The shadow¡¯s laugh rolls through everything within and without me. [Oh¡­ She might claw her way up from the muck. But¡­ Not sure it¡¯ll be anytime soon. Lots of others have scores to settle now that she¡¯s just another shadow.]


    I jerk to stare. ¡°Wh¨C where?¡±


    [Where we all go till the flame rekindles.] She shrugs. [Fumbling and clawing in the darkness. Lost as they try to remember themselves.]


    I almost just ask another question, but our watcher lays a hand on my arm. A reminder to convey this conversation. I do, and it¡¯s her who asks for us, ¡°How¡¯re you the first to arise then?¡±


    Muphrel smirks and wiggles her head noodles. [Luck, and¡­ I knew what to look for.]


    ¡°How many more could bubble up?¡± Awnya asks next.


    [Older ones, like me, have farther to go but¡­ more experience. While newer ones can sometimes slip by and get a foothold. I¡¯ve no idea how many swim in that pit.]


    Stolen novel; please report.


    A pause, and then Tretion lays out the question that is making her tendrils wiggle and children ripple in worry. ¡°How much of a threat are you all to Lyra? What will they want? What do you want?¡±


    The shadow of a long dead godthing smirks. [Were I you, I¡¯d be more worried about myself. This little monster is quite the¨C]


    I¡­ I don¡¯t know what about that word from her lips does it, but next thing I know I am leaping across the floor, writhing my seabed of a soul into¡­ into¡­


    Into a maw of death.


    Amwella suddenly the jaws of some great beast.


    Muphrel doesn¡¯t even get the chance to move. Each tendril becomes a twisting nonsense shape of razor sharp fury as I descend on her. I only see a whisper of sudden surprise and fear as I just¡­ engulf her. Like a whirlpool her everything seems tied to me. Caught in some great swirl that she can only hope to paddle at the edges of, but never escape.


    A Crunch and a munch, and my soul gulps her away.


    But there¡¯s no euphoria from it. No thrum of warmth and life and¡­ and wonderful dead emotions that should come from a feast. Just my own hissing thrumming anger as my soul slowly shifts back into an only slightly agitated seabed.


    ¡°Beloved?¡± Tretion whispers. ¡°Are¡­ is she¡­?¡±


    ¡°G¨C gone. N¨C nnn¨C nn¨C not.¡± Squeeze my eyes shut as¡­ as I try to force out. ¡°M¨C mm¨C mmmm¨C monster.¡±


    A pause, and Awnya lets out such a wonderful laugh. And I jerk back to see her moving to stand. Struggles with the new weight on her soul for a few steps, but otherwise just¡­ comes right up and sweeps me into such a hug. ¡°No. No you are not. Good girl.¡±


    Tretion follows close behind, soul and head tendrils wriggling in exasperation. ¡°That¡­ No. Awnya¡¯s correct. If this strange spirit claimed you monster she was gravely mistaken, and incredibly foolish. Both in her observations and in invoking your anger.¡±


    ¡°And¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits if they can just be slapped back into whatever muck they came from then¡­ why not? Especially if they mean to hurt you.¡±


    Tretion wraps her everything about us, and her Amwella thrums in worry. ¡°I¡­ I worry it might not be so simple. Or there may be¡­ I¡¯m not sure. Reactions to it.¡±


    ¡°Like¡­?¡± Awnya prompts.


    Tretion huffs. ¡°Just¡­ Let me look into it a bit more. Ask someone I think might be able to give some advice or context.¡±


    ¡°Muh?¡± I turn up to look at her.


    Who else could even hope to understand this? Much less give advice!?!


    ¡°Just¡­ I¡¯ve been asked to keep this a secret. Would rather make sure she¡¯s comfortable with me sharing this with you both after questioning her.¡±


    ¡°Oke.¡± I quickly agree, then pull back to look between them ¡°K¨C keep o¨C our ch¨C children s¨C safe? F¨C for now?¡±


    They both assure me with nothing but eager delight that brings such tears to my eyes. Causes me to hug and snuggle close again while reaching out to encompass us all with my big mess of a soul.


    *     *     *


    I gave up trying to count just how many little soul passengers my Bound Beloved carried with her back to the manor. Not because they are without number, but due to the fact that they are difficult to focus on for any length of time. Forms are always shifting and changing and¡­ and even when sleeping some invisible tide seems to push and pull them all about.


    For weeks I concluded it was just¡­ my broken Amwella sight. A thing that has never worked right since I died all those years ago. But eventually I had the good sense to ask Awnya to try, and even Lyra herself when our Fae had worse luck than me.


    Neither could give me a good count but¡­ at least a dozen was our final conclusion for the number of children resting in the care of Our Beloved Bound.


    I have to stop at that. Take more time than I¡¯d like to steady my mind and soul as fingers drift up to touch the renewed binding. Feel¡­ well sharing Amwella dances with our Fae always leaves a soul thrumming more than it was before, and Awnya told me of the songs she¡¯s enjoyed weaving about and through me.


    ¡°A sign to anyone with ears to hear that you are mine.¡± She¡¯d laughed. ¡°Not¡­ not like in a possessive way. Feel free to enjoy Nelops and anyone else¡¯s company. This¡­ hm¡­ I¡¯m not sure if It can be explained well without the Fae song. Is almost more like¡­¡±


    But I understood quickly, and shushed her with such a dizzying kiss.


    And now¡­ I have not just an angry scar to remind me of my returned lover, but a thrumming from deep within I can only barely understand. A thing that draws our¡­ our¡­


    Our children.


    I can¡¯t help but gasp and need to steady myself against a wall as they draw closer. Sleepily drawn to the sudden delighted burst in my soul for them. I¡¯ve¡­ Lyra¡¯s let them lay close before but¡­ but it¡¯s never been this many and it was always with a subtle melody of temporary affections.


    But this mark, this ¡®Dreamer¡¯s Lamentation¡¯... It marks them as mine too.


    A mother to them, Always and Forever. To¡­ to raise them like our own mothers never did or could. In any way they might grow from this current state. To keep them safe from any and all who may harm them. Even from the threats that seem to rise from scars their mother bears.


    I take a steadying breath, and continue moving for the mother I will not let them lose.


    Lyra¡¯s auditory experiences that occasionally seemed to include vague visual aspects has grown to include full sentient projects. One possibly laden with details and names and personalities. While that could narrow this down to one a couple concrete things that I can postulate¡­ none of them warm my heart or give me hope that this will be easy for her to endure.


    If this is a symptom of trauma, either mind or soul or both, it has a high chance of taking years to settle. If at all.


    Or¡­ maybe this is soul feasting addiction. Lyra shows none of the recorded signs but¡­ even the journals I¡¯d found spoke of how unique each case was. Each drinker of Amwella bearing symptoms more akin to a curse or¡­ or almost sentient fury in their pains. And if my beloved still suffered those Waking Nightmares then¡­ This would be the easy and most likely answer.


    But she insists that none of those have touched her mind for years. Not since that first night back with Thendra. And while she avoided discussing the¡­ what the horrid woman¡¯s sexual assault that night entailed, it didn¡¯t seem to involve anything that explains their ending. So my thoughts are that the Blighted Sea might have cleansed her but¡­ she insisted that she had another couple before Thendra ¡®cured¡¯ her.


    She¡­ I think she¡¯s keeping something from us. A detail of that night. But, these only arose after she consumed the Godthing of Theradas. So¡­ it can wait.


    Regardless. My path is clear. No matter the root of this. Lyra will not just survive, she will find all manner of happiness no matter the costs. I will not lose her again to lonely misery and horrid sorrows.


    So now I make my way through the manor. Leaving my Beloveds Bound to return to our chambers while I gather information. Only signaling to the soul I mean to visit when I stand without her home within one of the smaller communities main rooms that I need to speak with them about an incredibly urgent matter.


    I hate to disturb her, especially after what the manor and Awnya conveyed happened but¡­ She¡¯d honestly insist I not delay. Might even grant her some manner of peace at the chance to aid in this.


    My duenna¡¯s door opens with an almost rushed clicking noise, and Raska nearly stumbles out into me.


    ¡°M- matron Tretion!?!¡± She stammers. Hair all disheveled and flame dancing in such odd patterns as strange hues glimmer through, only just pulling on what seems to be a loose tunic. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry I¨C¡±


    I raise a hand, ¡°You¡¯re fine, duenna Raska. I called you from your personal time. This is¡­ not within normal workings for us.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ no. But¡­ The manor communicated urgency. Wh¨C What can I help you with?¡± She huffs and hesitates in the door when I don¡¯t move, Sparkflame eyes dancing over my soul and¡­


    Our children that still nuzzle within. Their comfortable delight literally acts as a cool balm that keeps my mind from dipping into dull panic.


    ¡°It¡¯s a personal emergency, but¡­ depending on what advice you can give me and future developments it could become more than that.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ um¡­ Alright. What do you need?¡±


    ¡°It involves me asking about some things you requested I keep private.¡± I elaborate as she flounders. ¡°And I¡¯d like to have this discussion where you are most comfortable and none others can overhear.¡±


    ¡°Oh that¡¯s¡­¡±


    And then I become aware of a second person hovering just inside. No Amwella for my senses to pick up quickly. Well¡­ at least not a normal core of soulflame.


    One of Raska¡¯s closest and more interesting companions. A being of liquid grace and a form composed entirely of a type of¡­ of strange melted substance that can interact with the physical and Amwella parts of the Rifts.


    ¡°Greetings, Matron Tretion.¡± She announces, and moves up to give me a slight bow.


    ¡°Lady Wren, was it?¡± I greet back. ¡°I apologize for pulling Raska away this evening.¡±


    She nods, but otherwise remains still and silent. Unreadable mostly but¡­ I sense a tension that wasn¡¯t there last we spoke and I welcomed her to my manor.


    ¡°Alright, let¡¯s¨C¡± Raska starts to speak while moving to leave her home.


    ¡°Is this about Lyra?¡± Wren cuts off her Everflame.


    Raska winces while I debate¡­ but no. This could be perfect, actually.


    ¡°Yes, in fact it is.¡± I reply easily. ¡°And¡­ Some advice duenna Raska may be able to provide on this subject could aid her greatly.¡±


    ¡°Why me specifically?¡± The Everflame asks.


    ¡°Put simply and delicately, I would like to inquire about the nature of your Spark.¡±


    A beat, then she nods. ¡°Wren knows basically everything, we can talk here if that¡¯s okay for you?¡±


    I actually let out what I hope to be an obvious show of relief. ¡°Wonderful, actually. A close companion''s outside opinions might also be invaluable. If you are willing to offer it.¡±


    Wren pauses, seems to ripple for a second. ¡°Of course. Please, come in.¡±

 Chapter 108: Trusting Bubbles, and The Watcher Who Wove them

    <u>CW:</u>


    Soul attack. Soul possession to sing. Plurality hintings. Restraining to stop Lyra from singing. Bubbles becoming bindings and being put in a BEG bubble. Gag that stops talk or breath or singings.


    Old horrid instincts flare in fury, and I jerk us to a halt.


    ¡°Lyra?¡±


    I turn and look about the hallway we¡¯re taking back to our chambers.


    Empty. But¡­ Then why am I panicking?


    ¡°Heya, what is it?¡± Awnya whispers as her hand squeezes mine harder. ¡°Talk to me girl.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t think about the words first, just let them bubble up as you need them. Overthinking can muddle things as much as anything else.¡± My mother had reminded me in these few days we¡¯ve been able to spend practicing.


    ¡°Is it another shadow?¡± My Fae presses, our children nuzzling close and keeping her calmer than me.


    I slowly shake my head as I look around. ¡°N¨C not sure.¡± Still messy but¡­ She said it would take time.


    ¡°Alright. Can you explain what¡¯s happening?¡±


    I huff and gurgle out a growl as I look up and down the hall again. ¡°N¨C nothing. Just¡­¡±


    Her head tilts, then her gaze follows mine. ¡°Huh. I swear I feel someth¨C.¡±


    Sea-bed of a Soul roils in sudden pain, and then I¡¯m on my knees. A deep ache jolting through my senses like¡­ like something¡­


    Promises Broken


    Something¡­. Something reaches up. Through the muck. Pushing aside countless memories and wills and little spirits lost in the dark.


    To find me.


    I scream as something slams into head and heart and spirit and soulflame. Awnya is¡­ is reaching out to help but¡­


    Can¡¯t let her and our children get¡­ get¡­ caught by what comes for me!!!


    So as gently as possible I brace three tendrils against her Amwella, and use a tossing force to give her a great shove away before¨C


    ¡°Ly¨C¡±


    And then this monster from the pits of my soul finds me.


    Spirits bubble, a will thrums in such¡­ such¡­ Annoyance? Agitation? Not¡­ not anger.


    Not yet.


    A limb curls from the shadow my soul doesn¡¯t cast to wind about my throat. Darkness dripping away to reveal a furred limb of glimmering sun kissed fur, laden with little jade bracelets and cracked gemstones.


    And¡­ and from within the pitch behind my seabed of a soul a cluster of sandy-shaded eyes snap open to glare.


    [Return. To. Your. Rift.]


    My what? Why¡­ But what Rift is it wanting me to¡­


    I growl as talons and Naranggas claw at the choking limb.


    It wants me to go back to Theradas!?!


    The muck below and all around roils as its eyes narrow, and It rumbles to say more, but I¡¯m already twisting my Amwella into sharp shapes of whirling death. Ripping and tearing and rolling forward to break this old stupid fuzzy thing.


    To abandon my lovers and our children!?!


    The pitch twitches, eyes widen in surprise as Naranggas rend it¡¯s limb away and toss it aside to fade into thoughtless nothings. But then a hissing snarl snaps forth, and suddenly the darkness below erupts. What was a single grasping claw is now a few dozen. But¡­


    My seabed is endless.


    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    And together we rip and tear and fight back against the spirit that¡¯s risen from the muck. It howls and snarls and¡­ and¡­


    It¡¯s laughing?


    ¡°Lyra! Hey girl what¡¯s¨C¡± Awnya begins to ask from where she landed. Gorgeous arm feathers flaring out to steady her.


    My eyes widen as I jerk to scream more clearly than ever to her. ¡°RUN!¡±


    And then the pitch itself rises in howling amused wroth. Twists and forms into a messy fuzzy patch that¡¯s already gripping at my ankles and legs. Naranggas seem to scream with me as we slice and cut and bite and chew but¡­ but it¡¯s SO much and this nonsense already has my legs and¡­ and I can¡¯t cut fast and hard enough to free them and¡­ and my tendrils are getting caught and the fur is spread up them and into the seabed and around my Amwella and¡­


    And through our everything a song begins to howl.


    A twisting melody of old pain and will and fury and hunger and¡­ and other things. Things I don¡¯t have the words for. Fae or human or even Reaver tongue!


    Bubbling up past my lips to slam against the Manor like nothing I¡¯ve ever tried. My Reaver¡¯s Riftwalks are¡­. They¡¯re quick and bloody rends. So different than any Riftwalk I¡¯ve seen Awnya or Usete or even Tretion do. And this¡­ this is worse.


    It¡¯s like a Fae song. But¡­ also not? Horridly pretty but woven without very many Fae words. More will that careful designs.


    So much like how I¡¯ve been singing these past years.


    Drawing up my Amwella that their fur and song are smothering, I scream the best countermelody I can manage. Twisting gurgling growls lacking all soft Fae words Awnya and my mother have been wanting to teach me. Trying to claw back and drag down this monster that¡¯s crawled up from the pitch and begun to rip magic from my soul.


    Awnya shouts something that¡¯s just¡­ lost to the song as the Manor rumbles beneath our feet. A mess of questions and requests and such confusion at the twinned things tearing from my throat. Bubbles start popping out of the floor and ceiling to clutch at arms and shoulders and hips.


    Stop!


    But¡­ It''s too much. And I feel this Riftwalk tearing at our Manor¡¯s shell. Cracking it like I did so many years ago.


    STOP!


    I spin a whining plea into my working. Begging the manor to¡­ to help or¡­


    WAIT!


    And I hiss the quickest version of my plan into my working.


    NO!


    PLEASE! I wail. I¡­ I promise to come back! But¡­ but Awnya¡¯s here and¡­ and I don¡¯t want you hurt again and¡­ and¡­ I don¡¯t know what this is and I can¡¯t let it hurt any of you and¨C


    Containment.


    Wh¨C


    And then our song is cut off by a slurry of bubbles curling up and about my neck and head and mouth and¡­ and plunging down my throat and¡­ and suddenly I can¡¯t breathe!


    But it cuts off the song.


    More and more bubbles solidify to pin and hold my seabed of a soul still. Ending the home-cracking symphony and furious flailings. Pulling me to kneel upon the soft carpets.


    Can¡¯t stop the angry tears that dribble as I glare down at the eyes slowly pulling back into the pitched shadows behind my soul. Wanting so badly to hiss and bite at this stupid horrid thing that used my lips and my soul to almost hurt this perfect home and my wonderful Fae and our amazing children!!!


    A huff of a snarl, and it pulls away. Thrumming fury as it seems to lay and rest just at the shadow¡¯s edge.


    Watching¡­


    A pop, a gurgle, and the bubbles cutting off my mouth pull free. But¡­ not all the way. Just enough to let me take a gasp of air.


    ¡°Lyra!¡± Awnya¡¯s carefully moving to kneel before me. ¡°It¡¯s okay. It¡¯s okay. Just¡­ little breaths at first, okay? Don¡¯t panic. This is just one of the best ways we could think to keep everyone safe if something like this happened.¡±


    I nod and obey. Try to murmur an apology but¡­ the bubbles don¡¯t like that and pull really close when I try to make any sounds.


    ¡°Not your fault, and Dreamer¡¯s Tits could I see you fighting.¡± My wonderful Fae whispers. ¡°I¡¯m so proud of you.¡±


    More tears, and more little breaths. Our children get curious a few times and try to wobble over but¡­ the barrier of bubbles stops them. Eliciting a few little gurbles of worry and confusion.


    Not my fault. Not my fault. Not my fault. Not my fault. NOT MY FAULT! I¡¯m OKAY! Awnya¡¯s SAFE and¡­ and our children aren¡¯t scared. Just¡­ just a bit worried. Everyone¡¯s FINE!


    After a while the manor even lets one of my talons free to hold Awnya¡¯s hand. But¡­ not anything else. It still doesn¡¯t want me to talk, and definitely not sing. Just¡­ waiting?


    For what? I¡­


    And then a door is opening and our Watcher is coming to kneel next to Awnya and with her is¡­ Everflame Raska.


    I turn my head to look down and away. Would squeeze my eyes shut but¡­ then I¡¯d just be even more aware of her blaze of a soul and¡­ the shadows lurking behind mine.


    ¡°Beloved?¡± Tretion whispers, taking up my talon. ¡°We¡¯re going to have the manor move you to a safer room, okay? Is that alright?¡±


    I nod, and our watcher murmurs a quick command to the manor. Then there is a heavy click behind me and the bubbles sorta¡­ slerp me backways into a room so much like the Heart room or the little entryway beyond the outer gate.


    All stone and damp and brimming with some really colorful and pretty bubbles. Some even¡­ even seem to reflect things that aren¡¯t there? Then one sort of rolls over and around me. Pushes all the little bubbles away to just¡­ hold me in itself. Freeing my everything to stand and look around and¡­


    My watcher and Fae enter the room after that. Flanked by Raska. Talking even but¡­ I can¡¯t hear them. I try to force out a word but¡­ But no sound is made.


    Oh¡­ OH!


    Can¡¯t help but grin painfully and wibble my soul in both love and shame. Slumping to sit between my delight in how she¡¯s thought of everything, and¡­ and how she¡¯s needed to prepare something like this for me.


    ¡°Beloved?¡± Tretion murmurs, and I look up from myself to find her kneeling to sit just outside the bubble. Suddenly able to hear her but¡­ it¡¯s kinda muffled and distant. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m so sorry.¡±


    I shake my head and mouth my best ¡®Thank you¡¯ to her. Then try for ¡®When?¡¯


    She winces and sighs, ¡°I¡­ After that first night, when Awnya told me what happened and I still thought you might still suffer from Waking Nightmares, I promised myself something. Never again. No more will you need to fear lashing out and hurting someone you love while you''re safe in this home.¡±


    I bite my lip and dig talons into legs as I look down in such grateful shame.


    ¡°So¡­ Let¡¯s take this slow.¡± Awnya moves to sit beside her. ¡°This bubble will let you talk in a moment, but if it senses any stirring of song or soulflame it¡¯ll seal up right quick.¡±


    I nod.


    A quick word, another pop, and suddenly I can hear myself breathing.


    ¡°S¨C sorry.¡± Is the first word I murmur.


    ¡°Not your fault.¡± Awnya repeats with a sigh. ¡°Not from what I saw, which wasn¡¯t much but¡­ more than before. I couldn¡¯t sense anything but your anger when that first spirit bubbled up. But this one¡­¡±


    Tretion lays a hand on our Fae¡¯s knee as she trails off. ¡°Let¡¯s start from the beginning, what happened?¡±


    Deep breath, and I tell them. Drowning in shame and guilt and anger and broken useless words that take me what feels like forever to get out. But they are so patient. Sitting and listening and only asking a few questions about details I don¡¯t think to add at first.


    ¡°Is this spirit still here?¡± Awnya finally asks.


    I glare down at the shadow, and the eyes I feel and see glowing in fury from within. Nod once.


    ¡°Has it offered any other words of demand beyond what it did before? Spoken a name or intent?¡± Our watcher adds.


    I pause, and bore all my will and fury into the thing. It doesn¡¯t shift or change. Only¡­ radiates slight annoyance.


    I shake my head.


    And then my Watcher turns back to regard her duenna. The ever silent guardian has spent this entire time just¡­ looking past us all. But¡­ she doesn¡¯t see things like us. Doesn¡¯t need to be facing the center of her focus. And if I¡¯m reading her dancing flame of a soul correctly she¡­


    No... Wait! Is¡­ is that more than one thought path? Four or¡­ or maybe even six colorful windings of considerations dancing about?


    Raska sighs and purses her lips. Gives a soft and pained nod that sets her soul to writhing into such a mess of conflict.


    ¡°Alright beloved we¡­¡± Tretion winces. ¡°We¡­ We¡¯re going to explore some options.¡±


    I quirk a questioning eyebrow. ¡°Wh¨C what op¨C o¨C options?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d rather research them first, then offer what seems most promising.¡± Tretion reaches out to touch the edge of the bubble¡¯s clear wall between us. ¡°Will you trust me in this? Wait here and¡­ and¡­¡±


    I nod easily and place talon on my side of the bubble, overlapping hers. ¡°Al¨C always. J¨C just k¨C keep s¨C ss¨C safe. Pl¨C please. Ch¨C chil¨C dreen and s¨C self.¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡± Awnya assures me, placing her hand up next to our watcher¡¯s. Which I match immediately. Even press as much of my sea bed of a soul against it too. Letting it writhe and even claw gently at the barrier we need to keep between us.


    Trusting these wonderful Beloveds Bound to take care of our family, and me.

 Chapter 109: Fuzzy Souls, and Shadows They Swim In

    <u>CW:</u>


    Tretion POV then Lyra, then Awnya, THEN Lyra AGAIN! WOW! Soul attacks and talk of plurality and soulpals and woops!


    ¡°You could see something?¡± I ask as we step from the room. Leaving Awnya with Lyra.


    Raska nods and replies when the door is shut tight. ¡°It¡­ I¡¯m not sure how to explain it but¡­ Yeah.¡±


    ¡°Try, please.¡± I press as I lead her down the hallway.


    We walk in silence for a bit, moving quickly and with purpose to my study adjacent to the 3rd Archive. Once we arrive I murmur a few quick requests, and soon the manor is pulling about a dozen books from our shelves.


    ¡°Okay so, and this is going to sound off, but it¡¯s the best I have.¡± Raska finally speaks. ¡°It¡¯s like there is a¡­ an echo behind the radiance. Not more colors like other Everflames might have but¡­ similar.¡±


    I sigh and nod. ¡°Actually, that makes perfect sense to me. More even than Lyra¡¯s analogy.¡±


    Raska quirks an eyebrow. ¡°She described it like a shadow behind and under her Amwella. But¡­ Also like a sea with things hiding in. How does this make more sense than that?¡±


    ¡°Lyra¡¯s perceptions on things are¡­ Skewed. I think my cousins or mothers would have seen something here too. Probably described it the same as you just did.¡± I say while glancing over a few of the tomes laid before me.


    ¡°Not¡­ Wait. Like skewed how?¡±


    I smile, just a little. ¡°Did you know she was the first to call the manor¡¯s soul manifestations ¡®bubbly Amwella¡¯?¡±


    A pause, and then Raska lets out a snort and a giggle. First I¡¯ve heard her make such a cute sound. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ Okay that¡¯s adorable. Fuck me. I was wondering why you all called it that.¡±


    ¡°It is. But¡­ It also worries me. Makes me consider that maybe she sees other things with less¡­ Clarity than she should.¡±


    ¡°Like Thendra?¡± My duenna murmurs.


    I nod. ¡°Yes. And¡­ Well, I try not to think of it, because most things and people she describes in such ways are just so. At least from a certain perspective. She¡­ She knows what that horrid woman is.¡±


    A thump, and we look over to see the manor deposit a big stack of books on my desk.


    ¡°So¡­¡± Raska murmurs, looking over them and me in confusion. ¡°What¡¯s the plan?¡±


    I let my headstalks finally release some worry. Glad for our children¡¯s gift of calm but¡­


    ¡°When it was a single spirit so easily broken and smothered away, and we thought Lyra too strong for any of them to overwhelm¡­ It was to watch. Take our time and consider how best to, perhaps, establish a hierarchy. Like how you¡¯ve done.¡±


    Raska nods. ¡°But this cunt came out of nowhere and almost used Lyra to crack the manor. That¡­ that¡¯s such a bad sign. At least if she was an Everflame.¡±


    Because sparks have to bargain for strength just as their Cinderkin does. Give and take and very seldom are they able to consume or mantle their Cinderkin.


    ¡°But she¡¯s not, so I¡¯d like to avoid panicking.¡± I hold up a hand in placation while moving about my desk to regard the books. ¡°Awnya will keep Lyra calm and weave songs through the cage we¡¯ve crafted if needed, while I do what I should have done months and months ago.¡±


    ¡°And that is...?¡± Raska asks.


    ¡°Finish the work that will allow me to venture forth from this place and ask some very pointed questions.¡± I growl.


    A long pause passes.


    ¡°Matron¡­¡± Raska murmurs gently. ¡°You can¡¯t mean to¨C¡±


    ¡°I can, and I¡¯d like you to accompany me.¡± I glance up to regard her, tendrils writhing in determination. ¡°If you¡¯re willing. Your Oaths bind you to this place and its current caretaker, which will be Awnya when I step out.¡±


    She goes very still then. ¡°This¡­ Matron Tretion I¡­ Is this a good idea?¡±


    ¡°Honestly? Yes.¡± I reply quickly. ¡°The other option is to send Awnya out, which is not something I will risk. Because if this turns to violence, like it did when fetching Lyra¡¯s family, she is declawed. Unable to do what is necessary without scarring herself.¡±


    Raska purses her lips and thinks on that for a moment. Knowing well the limits of a Fae¡¯s cruelty.


    ¡°And with such¡­ surprisingly hostile and expectedly horrid souls sniffing after our Beloved I¡¯d demand she not just be willing, but more aggressive in her weavings. Which she won¡¯t be. Not without hesitations.¡±


    ¡°And you will?¡±


    I smirk, ¡°You remember the staff Awnya and I carried?¡±


    She nods.


    ¡°I crafted that, and know the Wretched Incantations within.¡± I explain, ¡°And I was raised not by soft Fae parents, or wonderful siblings, but by quite a few cunts who made sure I could perform cruelties when commanded or suffer them myself.¡±


    Raska winces. ¡°Alright, and¡­ and with a seasoned Everflame at your side very few will think to attack without pause.¡±


    ¡°Yes. And I trust you. Both in ability, temperament, and more importantly than those first two¡­ motivations.¡±


    Raska huffs and looks down. ¡°I¡­ Yeah. Okay. I¡¯ll do it. I owe her anyway so¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I snap, so hard that my duenna jerks. ¡°Do not do this to make right some old pain you caused her. She will set those terms if they are needed. I offer you nothing for this. No rewards. This is a request from me, to you. As a treasured friend.¡±


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    That makes her flames pulse and sway for a moment. ¡°I¡­ Matron is¡­ I¡¯m not sure I¡¯ve earned that.¡±


    ¡°Raska.¡± I speak her name softly. ¡°You¡¯ve done nothing but earn that. This is not a thing I would ask any other. Save one of my Beloveds Bound if it suited their abilities and current limits.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡±


    ¡°But if you refuse, it will change absolutely nothing.¡± I assure her. ¡°I still mean to leave, and will begin to address you by your name alone, if you¡¯ll allow it.¡±


    This Everflame huffs and smirks. ¡°Alright. Fuck. I¡¯ll¡­ We¡¯ll need to plan things out. I¡¯m not one to strut into a fight without knowing I¡¯ll win it.¡±


    ¡°Good, neither am I.¡± I move to sit. ¡°So¡­ while I work to get this all figured out, tell me what you know of Thendra and her Reavers when the desire to do violence is upon them.¡±


    *    *    *


    We spend way too long glaring at each other, honestly. Awnya tries to stay with me for as long as possible throughout the days but¡­ she has other things to do and this is one of those days so¡­ I¡¯m just kinda bored.


    Tretion¡¯s visited less and less, seems really tired and distracted but¡­ promises me that her work is coming along well. That while there isn¡¯t much to tell me at the moment I¡¯ll be the first to know when there is.


    She¡¯s also given me books, one of which is a little journal she says is from that ¡®friend¡¯ who apparently has experience with soul partners. I asked but¡­ she wanted to keep it a secret. Which was silly because the pages reek of soot and cinder and I know that scent.


    Literally tasted it on the girl it exudes from.


    But¡­ If I tell her that I know, then she might¡­ like¡­ need to tell Raska. And I¡¯m not sure how to handle that. I would want to thank her and that would mean talking to her. A thing that even if I wasn¡¯t currently stuck in a bubble would be hard.


    And honestly her advice is weird and doesn¡¯t make much sense. Is all about feeling out soulfire and accounting for each little flicker and¡­ and watching all the other spirit¡¯s blazes and focusing on how I want to feel and¡­ and like¡­ what!?!


    How is that supposed to help me?


    I glare at the stupid thing resting in the shadow of my soul.


    Unbothered and uncaring at how its presence has ruined so much! So¡­ so infuriating and¡­ and it''s just sleeping!?!


    With a growl I snap out with a cluster of Naranggas, twist them into a bigger tendril, and plunge them into the muck. Hard as I can.


    Such a startled yelp accompanies a satisfied echo of a slap from an impact. Rumbles of confusion and annoyance and real surprise thrum from the shadows, soon turning to anger as the thing¡¯s attentions focus on me.


    ¡°C¨C cunt!¡± I only grin wider and glare harder as little eyes become visible. ¡°N¨C no sl¨C sleep!¡±


    Tides of fury roll out and over me as a few of those weird fuzzy limbs crawl from the pitch, and I match them by letting my own sea bed rise and curl into cruel shapes. Suddenly filled with the urge to bite and tear and Reave this monster for thinking to try and take my happiness and then just¡­ just sleep in the shadows!


    A pause, and then a wash of fur and fury lunges forth.


    *    *    *


    I stumble into the room to find¡­ oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits.


    Just¡­ the weird sludge the manor and Tretion wove for this has gone totally black. I sing a quick question to our home, asking if¡­ if it just went dark to contain her better or¡­


    No.


    I feel myself pale and the children snuggling close to my soul gurgle in worry at the fear.


    The¡­ the shadow she described, the one behind or¡­ or below her gorgeous sea bed of a soul has flooded the cage.


    I hum and nearly snarl a song of aid and instruction to the manor. Let this magic pass through, but nothing else. It rumbles worry but¡­ it lets my workings pass. And for a few horrid moments I just¡­ stand and sing and worry at all the horrid things this monster could be doing to my beloved.


    Bound and Claimed till and beyond Dream¡¯s End.


    Can¡¯t help but let the joy of that seep into the song. How¡­ how much her trust and love and¡­ and desire to see these little cuties become my children too.


    The shadows ripple at that, and for a second I swear a single blackened talon pierces through the darkness to rake against the barrier.


    *     *     *


    While this bubble was like¡­ pretty small, it really doesn¡¯t matter when this thing decided to try and drag me into the muck. Or¡­ no. That''s not right. It pulled the shadow up to swallow me.


    And now I wrestle this thing in total darkness.


    As it pulled away to prepare to strike me from angles it didn¡¯t think I could see, I couldn¡¯t help but¡­ giggle at it. Really? This is this monster¡¯s plan? To drag me into dangerously pitched depths filled with strange and scary monsters that might try to eat me?


    So stupid.


    This place is soft and warm compared to my Beloved Sea.


    And while this thing is WAY bigger than I¡¯d have thought, easily¡­ twice as big as any leviathan I met swimming in the Blight, it¡¯s more¡­ wiggly? Not a mass or a lump of solid compressed will but more like one of those big rugs Tretion has about the manor. Except instead of being soft and fun to nap on, it''s all sharp and angry.


    But so am I, especially right now.


    So at the last moment I twist my sea bed into a couple really REALLY big tendrils and turn to slam into it. Sinking horridly big and hooking shapes that twist off them to bite and grip this stupid thing.


    And then I¡¯m jerking and pulling and¡­ and trying to rip it in half!!!


    Unlike the Blighted Sea, this place doesn¡¯t muffle sound, so I get to enjoy this stupid thing howl in pain. Still no warm soulfire to enjoy weeping from it though¡­ which¡­ I mean that would be nice.


    A furious jerking of will, and the thing is thrumming and twisting and¡­ melting!?!


    Just like how Awnya and I can do when our souls are in danger.


    Before I can think more the furry mass is gliding up my Naranggas toward my sea bed, hitting like nothing I¡¯ve ever felt and sending us spiraling through the muck. Biting and tearing and howling wordless furious insults at each other the entire time.


    It¡¯ll sink into a limb and twist it to stab another, and I¡¯ll melt and writhe back with three more to bite the stupid thing back. This¡­ this goes on for a long time. A few eternities of two angry monsters tearing into¡­ into¡­


    At the thought I remember my warm and wonderful Fae lover. Can¡¯t help but growl in confliction at¡­ at how wrong I still think she is! I AM a monster! Broken and Bound to the role I chose to mantle and¡­ and¡­


    Then a tune thrums through the darkness. A weaving of calling and pleading and healing aid from Awnya into the pits of my soul. Weaving and enveloping me while nibbling at the edges of the fuzzy spirit I fight.


    It helps. Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits does it knock what was a fight I was starting to think I might lose into a sure victory. Gives me the sharp edge to beat back this stupid spirit and finally pin it amidst three twisting tendrils.


    Squeezing.


    Biting.


    Twisting all of me into a Maw ready to swallow this ugly thing after tearing it apart!


    But then, just before I would take such a big chomp, the floor is rising up to slam into my face. And it takes me a moment to realize that¡­ that I¡¯m back in the bubble within our home. Heart and soul and mind all a fluttering growling hissing mess as I glare at the settled pitch beneath my soul. Almost giving into the urge to howl for¡­ for something!


    In warning? No¡­ A threat? Mebe¡­


    A desire to dive back in and¡­ and find this stupid fussy spirit and¡­ and¡­


    I push up to slump against the barrier of the bubble. Only just barely aware of my lover¡¯s song and calling for my attention. Turning I see her kneeling with our children. Eyes wide with love and worry.


    ¡°You alright?¡± She asks.


    I consider that. Look down to see¡­ My body is okay. Has a few bruises already healing. But¡­ soul looks like it never has. Torn up and bearing more scars and little weeping marks than I¡¯ve since¡­ well¡­ ever. Furthonois did worse but¡­ that was my old Amwella.


    And¡­ and this one¡¯s already swaying and wobbling about. Thrumming a silent rhythm of healing and restoration.


    ¡°Lyra?¡± She presses, her own eyes alight and watching my soul.


    I look up to give her a nod. ¡°F¨C fought i¨C in the sh¨C shadow.¡± I whisper. ¡°Th¨C th¨C thanks, f¨C for help. F¨C for s¨C song.¡±


    She smirks and nods while settling to sit. ¡°Of course, Dreamer¡¯s Tits I¡¯m glad I got here when I did.¡±


    I sigh and shrug. ¡°Pr¨C pro¨C probb¨C bably st¨C still w¨C w¨C win.¡±


    ¡°Do you need anything?¡± She asks. ¡°Food or water or¡­?¡±


    Wibbling for a second I eventually shake my head. Murmur a soft. ¡°C¨C can e¨C eat w¨C with b¨C b¨C beloveds?¡±


    Awnya nods quickly and without hesitation. ¡°Yeah, of course. She¡¯ll probably have all the questions anyway.¡±


    It doesn¡¯t take long, and¡­ and of course Raska¡¯s with her.


    Tretion kneels and raises a hand to lay against the glass. ¡°Are you alright?¡±


    I give her my best but¡­ clearly tired smile and a nod. ¡°J¨C just t¨C tired.¡±


    ¡°What happened?¡± She asks.


    ¡°A¨C attacked i¨C it.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ Wait. You attacked it? The fuzzy spirit?¡± Awnya huffs and shakes her head. ¡°Why? How?¡±


    ¡°M¨C mad.¡± I grin, unable to stop a little flutter of hungry pride.. ¡°All¨C almost a¨C ate. B¨C but it r¨C ran. I¨C is h¨C hiding n¨C now. B¨C but h¨C hurt.¡±


    Awnya matches my grin and rumbles, ¡°Good girl. Nice work.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t help but agree.¡± Tretion nods and settles. ¡°Asserting your will is the best way to face these spirits. Both in the long and short term.¡±


    ¡°But walk us through it.¡± Awnya presses. ¡°We¡¯ll get the manor to ask someone to cook us a meal, and in the meantime you can gather yourself and let us know what happened.¡±


    And so I do. Honestly¡­ it¡¯s pretty easy. I still stumble over every other word and¡­ and I can¡¯t help but find myself stopping to remember old words of my Dark Goddess. Things¡­ things she gave me that boiled up here.


    It¡¯s not a contest of the Flesh.


    Next time, bite her back.


    All others will scorn or rava¨C


    ¡°Beloved?¡± Tretion murmurs, pulling me from my silent contemplations.


    I shake myself free of that spiral and turn up to see Nelops arriving with a tray of foods. Begins passing them out to everyone. Even to the silent Everflame who keeps her distance.


    Once the food is slurped through the bubble is when I notice just¡­ just what a mess my fight made. Like¡­ everything was a fight with Amwella but¡­ I think my body must have moved quite a bit because the neat stacks of books and my journal are all tossed about. Some even bearing little talon scratches and quite a few torn pages.


    So before I consider the meal I crawl about and try to tidy up my mess. Murmuring little apologies to the books and Tretion and the manor for not being more careful. None are upset, of course but¡­


    The last book in my talons is the soot scented journal. Only a little torn but¡­ a big gash does mar the once soft leather cover. Take a second to flip through the book, hoping I just¡­ seem to be making sure the insides weren¡¯t damaged but¡­ Can¡¯t help but enjoy the smell and song and memories this makes bubble up.


    Long days of calm between what was over a decade of¡­ of¡­ well not that. How she gifted me a place in the little family she built and¡­ and really tried to take care of me and wait for my stupid tongue to wibble out all the wrong words and¡­ and maybe would have asked me to come back sometimes after we left.


    And¡­ and how I was just¡­ how I couldn¡¯t tell her the most important part of myself. That when someone did none of that mattered!


    Burns itch and scorch and roil as just a little tremble touches the talons holding the book.


    ¡°Hey Lyra?¡± Our Fae calls out, and thank the Blighted Dreamer my back is to them all.


    Only a few of my stupid tears stained the pages, so it''s easy to secretly wipe it and my eyes mostly clean and set it atop a pile and turn back to crawl over to consume this tasty smelling meal with my Beloveds Bound.

 Chapter 110: Wretched Radiances and Disjointed Incantations

    <u>CW:</u>


    Fixums soul melting problems! talk of abuse as child.


    ¡°You should get some sleep.¡± I say from across the room to the Matron of this manor and my Beloved Bound.


    Tretion looks up, eyes and tendrils tiredly drooping but¡­ still alight with such focus as she replies. ¡°I still have a few hours in me, Awnya.¡±


    Humming a soft melody of disagreement, I swagger over to plop down into the chair across from my Watcher. ¡°Naw, you''re pushing yourself. What¡¯s gotten you so suddenly desperate, love?¡±


    Tretion sighs and lets her gorgeous mane writhe freely. Conveying all her worry and guilt and weary pain. ¡°Three attacks, just this past day. I¡­ I need to figure this out.¡±


    ¡°Four, actually.¡± I can¡¯t help the chuckle that bubbles up with my tired smirk. How¡­ how this last time Lyra came out of the tussle with such a satisfied grin.


    Tretion jerks a bit at that, ¡°Why did you not call me?¡±


    I shrug. ¡°Honestly? Because just like the last two, she picked it. Just¡­ started growling and dove after that spirit.¡±


    ¡°That¡­ I still cannot fathom why she does that so much.¡± Tretion growls. ¡°She¡­ She¡¯s established that this thing can¡¯t defeat her. And she knows we¡¯re working to help alleviate this. Why toy with that danger?¡±


    I lean forward and tip-tap the desk. ¡°She¡¯s very good at reading us, love. Knows that, at the very least, one of us means to step out from this manor. Has probably guessed at what you''re doing.¡±


    Tretion shakes her head, then eyes me. ¡°You¡¯ve not let anything slip have you?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t need to, honestly. She¡¯s clever when she wants to be, and her attacking that spirit is just¡­ She thinks if she can eat it and show that she can handle the worst that mantle can throw at her then our plan won¡¯t need to happen.¡±


    A long pause passes before she asks. ¡°Do you think we should tell her about this? Our plan?¡±


    I consider that for a bit, trying to mimic this wonderful watcher¡¯s thoughtfulness. ¡°Yeah, actually. But¡­ not until we¡¯re ready to do anything. We¡¯re all sort of¡­ bubbling up with our own melodies right now. Once we all understand the shape of the songs we think to sing we can come together and compare them. Trust our lovers to tell us if the tune is off.¡±


    Tretion can¡¯t stop the smile that touches her lips. ¡°I don¡¯t know how you manage to fit everything into a metaphor involving songcraft.¡±


    I shrug. ¡°It''s how I was taught the Dream works, even before I learned Fae things.¡±


    ¡°I know just¡­ The more I learn about the Fae and you and Lyra I¡­ I begin to think that my kin¡¯s considerations of Fae didn¡¯t encompass their true role in things.¡± She muses, ¡°Our histories and lore paint a much darker picture of the Rifts and the souls that dwell there. Consider even the Fae to be just¡­ another oddity. Nothing as pivotal as what you¡¯ve shared. Would never seriously believe their tales about the Dead Dreamer, or the concept of the First Fae being the ones to stabilize this big Dream of Hers.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ stabilize is kinda a nice word for holding everything together with strings woven with warmth and songs. The Rot still spreads, always. We¡¯re just¡­ slowing it.¡±


    Tretion nods and looks down at the book she¡¯s been drowning in these past weeks. Some journal of an old watcher long gone but¡­ apparently brilliant. If not a little on the tipsy side. Honestly seems to have really started to find the seams and threads between Fae lore and some magic nonsense she¡¯d been obsessed with. I¡¯d honestly love to read it myself but¡­ it¡¯s laden with concepts beyond my grasp. So I trust my brilliant watcher to gush and share all the best parts.


    ¡°This is one of those times I can¡¯t help but wish I could see like the rest of my kind do. It¡­ it could make these workings so much easier to grasp. Would have done this so many years ago¡­¡±


    I can¡¯t help but wince a bit at that. ¡°Hey, love. You¡¯re more brilliant than any other member of your family by half, at least.¡±


    Eyes roll up to face me. ¡°I know, but thank you for saying so. If my mothers hadn¡¯t sacrificed my eyestalks during their brewings I¡­ well¡­ The lack of that sight was a pain mostly born of how others treated me. I¡¯ve long healed that scar and come to adore my form.¡±


    And¡­ her eyes and smile sing of nothing but truth in those words, so much that I can¡¯t help but hit her with such an unfair smirk. ¡°Good. And honestly¡­ same. So much that I¡¯m thinking you should come to bed and let me remind you again.¡±


    The temptation rocks her a bit, but she remains steady enough to shake her head and look back to the tome. ¡°In a bit, perhaps. I¡­ I feel close to understanding this troublesome passage. Don¡¯t want to lose my momentum to lovemaking and sleep.¡±


    ¡°Alright, I can wait here. Or leave. Whichever you think will help the most.¡± I offer.


    I can see her almost insist that I go on to bed without her, but then she pauses. Head tendrils swaying a bit toward me. ¡°Actually¡­ I think your unique perspective on this might be of value.¡±


    I raise my eyebrows in obvious surprise. ¡°I¡¯m pretty out of touch with how Incantations work, but¡­ sure.¡±


    ¡°Wretched Incantations, love.¡± Tretion lightly corrects. ¡°Never forget that part. I say this without joy but¡­ my mothers did me a favor punishing me when I forgot that.¡±


    I wince, guessing what ¡®punishments¡¯ a watcher family might inflict on their young. ¡°I¡­ Can you explain that part to me again? And¡­ and why you think it was a good thing to harm a child for simple forgetfulness?¡±


    She sighs but¡­ nods. ¡°I¡¯d have been better served by them instead never teaching me in the first place and escaping the control of the late Matron. But¡­ since it was expected of me to learn, that is a pain that was far preferable to any child learning without understanding the cost of this magic.¡±


    I shake my head, ¡°I can agree to the first, but promise me if you ever take an apprentice you¡¯d not consider¨C¡±


    Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    ¡°No. Of course not.¡± Tretion interrupts. ¡°I would judge their temperaments, weigh the benefits of their need versus it. Would ensure they understood the costs beforehand. I¡­ I¡¯m simply glad that¡­¡±


    She trails off, flustered, glaring down at the page for a long time. I don¡¯t interrupt her, so easily seeing through tendrils sway and time spent with her how in this moment she needs space to work through this.


    ¡°You¡¯re right. Of course. I¡¯m making excuses for them.¡± She finally whispers. ¡°What¡­ what my mothers did to me was wretched. Made worse by how, unlike my grandmother, they in fact did love me. Dearly, actually. But the scars they bore infected how they raised me. In many ways¡­ in many ways my being charged with this manor was a blessing. A freedom to heal in ways I could never do in their presence.¡±


    I do reach out then, rest my hand to just touch the tips of her. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡± She sighs, but slides forward to give my hand a good squeeze before pulling back. ¡°But¡­ I really do want your perspective to consider before resting.¡±


    I nod. ¡°Anytime, for both.¡±


    She nods, takes a deep breath, and ends up having to re-explain the basics of this magic before even moving on to consider the journal.


    ¡°So¡­ basically it¡¯s like a Fae song.¡± I eventually say, deciding to just go with an explanation I know she¡¯ll hate but¡­ can work with. ¡°But out of tune and with words you only just understand. As painful as some dying creature¡¯s wails because¡­ well¡­ you kinda tear up yourself and the Dream around you to Wretchedly Incant this.¡±


    But to my surprise, she nods with approval. ¡°Yes, actually. It¡¯s¡­ not a perfect grasping of them. But you understand the key parts.¡±


    ¡°Oh, alright. So¡­ this Watcher¡¯s workings? How do they play into this?¡±


    ¡°In her later years, which this journal came from, Ovellen was possessed by a theory. And it¡¯s the reason she became so obsessed with the Fae.¡± She continues. ¡°Which is why I think your view on this is possibly more apt than any others. The long despised belief she came to hold was that the magic both Faesong and Wretched Incantations create is not a product of the individual¡¯s power or strength, but of them simply knowing how to¡­ well¡­ pull at things that weave through the Rifts. That if we, somehow, left what the Fae consider the Dream entirely we¡¯d be without magic.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ huh. Okay. I¡¯m following that. I think there are lots of Fae that would have strong opinions on that. Both ways too.¡±


    ¡°From what I¡¯ve read about Ovellen, she was only tolerated because of how brilliant she was elsewise. And while others would grant her credit for crafting new spells, she always presses that she instead found them. Or simply rediscovered what was already waiting for those who think to look.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ I can relate to that. Half of my best songs just¡­ feel like they were already there and I was just matching the tune.¡±


    Tretion smirks. ¡°True Inspiration, but seeming cast through you as opposed to from you.¡±


    I nod.


    ¡°So¡­ that leads me to this journal, and the thing I¡¯m seeking to drag from it.¡± She flips a few pages. ¡°A thing not even Ovellen would need, but nevertheless hints and references the nature of. The Radiance of the soul, and a strange spectrum of frequencies that she often mentions being critical to avoiding the most horrid of wounds while Incanting. The more the Amwella matches this, the less damage happens. And how in her studies Fae suffers almost none when singing naturally, while she and her kin are inflicted with every time they spin a working.¡±


    I snap my fingers, ¡°Singing naturally? Does she¡­ and this is gross but important, ever watch a Fae sing unnaturally? Like maybe when in pain or sad or angry even?¡±


    She nods, excited. ¡°Yes. Although it¡­ um¡­ took quite a lot to make it anywhere near what others might suffer. But she did.¡±


    ¡°Dream Stirring.¡± I smirk. ¡°That¡¯s what these Wretched Incantations inflict. And¡­ huh yeah that tracks. My dad mentioned this a bit, I think. Always seemed annoyed when we came across a caster over weaving with what I assume to be these.¡±


    ¡°Which brings me to my problem.¡± She motions at the tome, ¡°I believe that my soul is, somehow, mismatched to the radiance of the Rifts, and if your perspective matches Ovellen¡¯s, then the death I would suffer is akin to what would happen if I spun my worst workings all at once.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ okay. That¡­ how would we even fix that?¡±


    That is where Tretion¡¯s excitement and tendrils droop a bit. ¡°I have a few ideas but¡­ otherwise I¡¯m not sure. If you¡¯d not already woven so many songs of blight healing on myself I¡¯d suggest that. Is there something else the Fae do for souls that might have similar problems? Something you¡¯ve not tried maybe?¡±


    I pause, then shake my head slowly. ¡°I¡¯ll be honest love I¡­ I wove things beyond what even my dad taught me. Both on you and the tests. I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    She nods, ¡°Don¡¯t be, I assumed you had. And honestly your¡­¡±


    But then she trails off, and tendrils begin to writhe a bit.


    ¡°What is it love?¡±


    ¡°Is Yuna awake?¡± She asks and is already rising.


    The pivot almost knocks me off my chair. ¡°Uh¡­ maybe? Let me¡­¡±


    I weave a soft question to our home, and it rumbles a sleepy answer in reply.


    ¡°No but¡­ she¡¯d happily wake for us if¨C¡±


    ¡°Have it do that.¡± Then she¡¯s moving with a purpose.


    ¡°What is it, love?¡± I ask as I run to catch up.


    ¡°A question I was going to ask someone else, but that I believe Yuna can answer. At least in part.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ what¡¯s that?¡±


    She doesn¡¯t reply, and I move up to take up a hand and let tendrils wrap about my arm and shoulder as we walk. Weaving the requests as I wait patiently for her to share what she will. But¡­ she keeps her thoughts to herself as we enter the grove of Lyra¡¯s mother.


    Yuna waits, obviously woken from rest but¡­ riled up with the energy of a mother who¡¯s not seen her daughter and was denied much information on her current situation.


    ¡°Heya Yuna.¡± I speak gently but loudly as we approach the little soft spot best for taking meals and relaxing with family. ¡°Sorry to drop in at this late hour.¡±


    ¡°Is everything alright?¡±  She asks without hesitation as we embrace in a quick hug.


    I¡¯m about to give her calming words but, Tretion speaks first as we get close. ¡°To be honest, no. We won¡¯t reveal much more on things due to Lyra asking us to keep the situation private. Can simply assure you that we¡¯re doing everything in our power to help.¡±


    Yuna huffs and glowers, then turns to regard me. ¡°I made the mistake of not pressing for details before, never again. What¡¯s going on?¡±


    I sigh and look to Tretion, whose tendrils remain steadfast and still. ¡°She¡¯s suffering the consequences of deep wounds and sacrifices. Is safe as Awnya, myself, and all within our power can make her while she grapples with it. But needing privacy to do it properly.¡±


    Yuna looks like she¡¯s about to burst with anger, but¡­ her eyes fall to our souls. And the children happily resting within. I¡¯d told her about the bindings during some earlier visits, and how it allowed us to carry our young.


    She¡­ had a ton of questions I could only just barely answer, and needed to skirt around things I¡¯d promised not to honk about. But she¡¯d trusted me and only seemed mildly worried at the time. More¡­ honestly something else. Something I can¡¯t quite place and she didn¡¯t feel the desire to talk about.


    ¡°Then¡­ Why are you here? The manor said you had questions?¡±


    Tretion nods, motions to the home Yuna¡¯s wove here. ¡°I do. May we sit and talk?¡±


    She agrees, and soon we¡¯re settled amidst soft grass with some chilly springwater in little mugs.


    ¡°So... Out with it.¡± Yuna presses. ¡°Ask what you need.¡±


    Tretion nods. ¡°I would like you to tell me everything you can recall about the way our beloved looked the day you found her.¡±


    That¡­ shocks both Yuna, and myself to be honest, into a still silence.


    ¡°You told Awnya she had a half-woven form she despised wrapped about a blazing core of Amwella.¡± Tretion presses. ¡°Correct?¡±


    Yuna nods, and her face turns pale. ¡°I¡­ she¡­ is my little girl alright? Is¡­ is she¡­¡±


    ¡°No, Yuna, Lyra¡­ she¡¯s not great but¡­¡± I offer, then turn to my watcher, not wanting to overshare.


    ¡°This is about my soul.¡± Tretion adds to help calm Yuna. ¡°Ever since this place rebuilt it I¡¯ve been unable to exit this manor, and am researching a way to correct that. I won¡¯t bore you with the details, but I¡¯d like to understand what Lyra looked like upon her first arrival to the Fae wood and what might have happened to help her adapt to this place.¡±


    Yuna relaxes a bit, but it''s amidst a new stress rising. ¡°I¡­ oh. That¡¯s¡­ I¡¯m not sure what to add. She¡­ she seemed like a person half-built.¡±


    ¡°Yes. But something you told my Beloved pricks at me Yuna, you said that she¡¯d tried to enter the Fae Wood, but couldn¡¯t go far. Why? What happened to stop her blaze of a soul from wandering deeper without the flesh you gave her?¡±


    Yuna purses her lips in consideration. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not sure. It¡­ well the Dreamer was stirring, that¡¯s for certain but¨C¡±


    ¡°Explain that to me, please.¡± Tretion interrupts.


    ¡°Of course. It¡­ well at the time the Dream felt unsteady and it seemed as though everything was being pulled with her back into the Blighted Wood.¡±


    Tretion nods. ¡°And then you said that you finished her old body, yes?¡±


    ¡°Mhm.¡± Yuna nods. ¡°It didn¡¯t take much though, the¡­ the stirring was just like any song. Had a very obvious opposite melody. The way to settle it was to wrap her in flesh.¡±


    My watcher¡¯s tendrils wibble in such an odd pattern. One of sudden realization amidst deep annoyance and pain. But¡­ she only rises, giving Yuna a distant. ¡°Thank you for your time, mother of my beloved.¡±


    Such an odd way to regard her that kinda startles us both into silence as Tretion moves to leave.


    ¡°Sorry, she¡¯s¡­ it''s been a busy few days. Exhaustion bubbling up and all that. We¡¯ll talk later.¡± I rise, giving Yuna a clumsy hug and running to follow.


    I want to press my lover, but from the absolute chaotic mess of Tretion¡¯s tendrils I know she needs time to work through this all. But¡­ I can¡¯t help it! Need to understand what¡¯s haunting her!


    ¡°Hey¡­ Tretion.¡± I murmur, carefully stepping up within hand holding or tendril snuggling range if she needs it. ¡°What are you thinking? Care to share your brilliance with me?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m a fool, it''s¡­ it''s so obvious.¡± She hisses. ¡°My idiot of a cousin, Voe, would have pointed it out if pressed.¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ we can be fools together, because it slipped right past me.¡± I do step up to hug her arm then. ¡°Enlighten me.¡±


    ¡°I died, love.¡± She whispers softly and so painfully. ¡°I¡­ can the Fae return the dead to life? If the flesh is good and dead but the soul is returned to the body?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°No. Some¡­ Some have tried. Kept the soul safe while restoring the body but¡­ it never takes and¡­ and¡­¡±


    Oh.


    This manor is literally filled with what Tretion always calls ¡®Soulwaste¡¯.


    She nods. Like she¡¯s hearing the realizations and thoughts bubble up. ¡°I¡¯ve been so focused on the Amwella I failed to consider the flesh. The Dream always rots soul away, and children often go years without a hint of Amwella in their bodies. My¡­ my body and soul are¡­ they don¡¯t match.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ like. What are you thinking is a way to solve that?¡±


    ¡°To put simply¡­ The Radiance is not in misjunction with the Dream, but the physical. I need to, at best and easiest, reattune my flesh to the Dream.¡± She growls with such determination. ¡°Or worse¡­ I think I might need to weave myself a new body.¡±

 Chapter 111: Out of the Pitch

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    <u>CW:</u>


    Almost soul murder. Sky being scary. Soul watching. Woops!


    It took me a stupid amount of time, but I¡¯ve done it. And was like¡­ even smart enough to wait until the end to use this!


    The fuzzy spirit¡¯s pretty torn up. Not as much as I¡¯ve done before but¡­ it won¡¯t matter.


    Because just as the stupid thing slips free of my three tendrils to flee, growling annoyances and thinking to hide deeper in the pitch than I¡¯ve any desire to go, I reach out with my two biggest Naranggas and hook the shadows we¡¯re swimming in.


    Then I jerk them away, tossing both myself and the fuzzy spirit up and back into the light of the manor.


    And as the thing tumbles about, all flailing with sudden terror and fury and panic I tackle it with all my remaining tendrils while a big one curls over the pitch it could escape to. Beginning to rip and tear and bite and snarl in victory as I prepare to Reave and feed.


    There is a lot of furry nonsense to get through. Layers and layers of protection but¡­ it was already pretty beat up so it doesn¡¯t take long for me to¡­ to¡­


    Can almost hear the furious purr of a Dark Goddess as I slowly and carefully twist my Naranggas loose from her.


    And then all that¡¯s left is this cute little fox looking girlthing. Silken white fur and covered in jewels and gems and¡­ and eyes like the brightest glimmers of the sea. Her terrified eyes meet mine and I¡¯m drowning in confliction and pain and bubbling anger. Understanding what I was too stupid to sense through all these past weeks of fighting her.


    She¡¯s Fae.


    I should kill her. Chomp down on this girl that so quickly would steal my happiness and hurt my lovers and break our home. But¡­ but¡­ I can¡¯t do it. Stupid tendrils twist back to soft lazy calm while my feet take me a step back.


    Let out a huff of a growl as I plop down to bask in my bitter victory.


    Unable to kill this girl who... who seems so much like me.


    The fox girl''s eyes narrow as she moves to sit up, pretty blue gaze locked on mine. Nearly boiling over with hurt and fury and anger and¡­ and worse. The white fur that covers her body bristles with all the emotions as her own talons curl and flex. Not¡­ I don¡¯t sense she¡¯s going to attack me again. At least not today. So¡­ what is she¡­


    Oh.


    I drag the huge tendril I was using to block her shadowy escape free, and nod to the pitch.


    ¡°G¨C go.¡± I murmur. Feeling so stupid at¡­ at not using this trick I¡¯d been saving for this next ambush to end her.


    Finally ripping this scary spirit apart and proving that I¡¯m safe again. Able to walk free without fear of hurting anyone I love.


    A pause, then she¡¯s darted past faster than I can blink. Gone at the speed of thought and will. But¡­ She¡¯s not fled into the deeper pitch yet. Is¡­ I can feel her pause at shadow¡¯s edge to regard me. Only pretty blue eyes visible but¡­ thrumming with things I¡¯d rather not worry about.


    ¡°G¨C GO!¡± I hiss at her, and she darts beyond my ability to sense.


    A pause, and I hear a rustling of¡­


    Oh. right.


    Glancing over as quickly as I can without actually meeting her gaze I consider the person who might not understand that my words weren¡¯t meant for her. But¡­ no. Her blaze of a soul dances in conflict of another kind. One I¡¯d rather not think about.


    I¡¯d asked Awnya why they keep having Raska watch over me, and¡­ and her explanation made a ton of sense. Sure.


    ¡°The manor can tell us when things happen, but not how you¡¯re doing. And¡­ Raska can kinda see past the shadows.¡± My Fae had sighed. ¡°I¡¯m not leaving you alone here when that thing attacks.¡±


    And¡­ I hate it. So much.


    Hate having to always sense her Dreamer Blighted blaze of soul flickering and dancing and pulsing as she watches me. Get to¡­ to understand what the odd twitches and burps of emotion mean. Without even trying, beginning to recognize the six distinct sources of them.


    They¡¯re¡­ not like my Jellyfish. At all. My children are all separate and cute and soft and very not tied to me.


    But¡­ these blazes inside her. It¡¯s such a tangled mess. A discordant song of patchwork desires and furious wills. One¡­ seems approving of my sudden victory, while another two are still and maybe¡­ sleeping? Yeah. And a final one is really quiet but still upset about like¡­ well everything all the time, honestly. And the biggest? The core? She¡­ she¡­


    I don¡¯t want to see this. Don¡¯t want to see the heart of this roiling mess of a soul consider me like that. Forcibly silent due to her Oaths but¡­ so clearly singing her joy and pride and¡­ and other things as I sit here sulking in my victory.


    Torn between a tittering of enjoyment and fear and¡­ and guilt for seeing all this.


    Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    With my Beloveds they¡­ they let my tendrils touch and snuggle and share their emotions with me. Have even learned to quiet themselves and hide things they want to keep private! Which is good! Scary at times but¡­ but they deserve that. And only recently have I started to be able to read them without touch.


    But this? Her?


    This feels¡­ wrong. Unfair.


    Violating in the worst ways.


    And¡­ and what do I even do about this?!?


    If I try to tell her she¡­ it¡¯ll free her from her Oath and¡­ and she can talk back to me and¡­ and I know Tretion insisted she¡¯s nothing but sorry but¡­ but¡­ what if me sensing her soul things makes her angry again!?!


    Last time I trusted her we hurt each other. My scars are obvious but¡­ but I¡­ she¡­


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits.


    I should just¡­ talk to Awnya or Tretion. Tell them I scared off the Fuzzy Fox Spirit. Even if they don¡¯t think I¡¯m safe to get out of this bubble they can at LEAST let Raska go do other stuff.


    Get her away from the monster that is me.


    *     *     *


    ¡°Love?¡± Awnya calls out.


    ¡°A moment¡­¡± I hiss through it all.


    The words were spoken, the air boils, and my flesh withers but¡­ The Radiance of it and the small plant I¡¯m working over shifts an ever small degree.


    I¡¯m grinning as I look up to find my love staring in worry.


    ¡°Try this one.¡± I demand.


    She shuffles up to me, humming a soft thing of healing over my fingers and apparently blood dripping left ear. ¡°I¡­ you sure? Three dozen at a time was a good plan.¡±


    ¡°It was, But I¡¯ve been honing in on this and am tuning myself with these last two.¡± My shaking head and words make her pause. ¡°This is almost certainly perfect. Confirm this first, then do your deeper healings.¡±


    She sucks in a breath but¡­ nods. And we take the closest door to the Gateway.


    Once there, and my beloved commands the manor to open, she¡¯s weaving one of her gorgeous Riftwalking songs. A thing that¡­ that always sets my heart to ache in both love for the way it always seems to resonate with this place and her love for it, and how I lost my own easy Riftwalking when I died.


    The skill that set me apart and kept me alive. Not safe from the displeasure of my Matron but¡­ unique. My intelligence and achievements, despite proving me at the very least Zetra¡¯s better, never matched the need for a daughter that could flit about the Rifts without ripping her own soul apart with a Wretched Incantation.


    But¡­ no more. That skill was lost to me when I died. I¡¯ll have to feel my soul wither a bit as I gouge a Rift.


    And then Awnya¡¯s song is done, and the air parts for my lover to gaze into some strange Rift beyond.


    A deep breath, then she¡¯s carrying my little experiment through. Holding it close to her chest as she gazes down at the maroon stalk and leaves touched with cerulean blossoms.


    Amwella sight is already upon me, and the little implanted soul is the focus of both our gazes.


    Nothing.


    Good. Good. Six of the first batch survived three dozen heartbeats before wilting. Already showing the promise in stark contrast to the others I¡¯d only adjusted the soul on which wilted within seconds.


    Still nothing.


    Better. The two we¡¯d brought back before their withering have not died so this shows that attunement is possible and the rot will not follow.


    But¡­


    Awnya looks up to me. Eyes alight with both delight and a question.


    I shake my head, needing to keep myself behind the gateway, as it is the true barrier between the wider Rifts and this place. ¡°No. We need to see how long it can last. There is a chance of Radiance lilting back into the old patterns.¡±


    ¡°Alright!¡± She smirks and nods. Eventually even settling down to sit on the grass of the Rift we¡¯ve been using. ¡°I can keep this open for¡­ another ten minutes? More if we have to but¡­ honestly at that point I¡¯d rather leave this little one out here and check later?¡±


    ¡°I agree. At this point I¡¯d like to come back and consider its status every hour for this first day.¡± I nod, moving to mimic her sitting but on the soft carpets of our manor. ¡°Then two every other hour on the later days.¡±


    ¡°And¡­¡± She looks up to quirk an eyebrow at me. ¡°When would you like to step free yourself?¡±


    I freeze, mouth going dry as headstalks freely wriggle in sudden cold worry. ¡°I¡­ A plant is not a person. And normally I¡¯d insist you find me a recently slain creature to try this on. But¡­¡±


    ¡°But?¡±


    I sigh and look down. ¡°There would be no difference, if I¡¯m being honest. This plant was woven to mimic all the things I needed to check.¡±


    A pause.


    ¡°So¡­¡± Awnya whispers. ¡°Why not right now?¡±


    I wince as I feel such old pain bubble up. ¡°For years I imagined walking forth with you. Taking a long journey away after making sure Nelops was settled and¡­ and just¡­ we almost did that. Love. Had things been but a whisper different we¡¯d have never found out she was alive and¡­ and¡­¡±


    Awnya crosses the distance before my first tears fall. Wrapping my everything in perfect arms and cooing soft words of love and kindness.


    ¡°I want Lyra to be with us.¡± I stammer past my quivering lips.


    ¡°Hey that¡¯s¡­ yeah.¡± Awnya agrees. ¡°That would be the best, of course. And hey! Lyra¡¯s been beating the snot out of the stupid goose that keeps attacking her. At her pace she¡¯ll be walking free and unbothered by anything the mantle can throw at her!¡±


    ¡°No I¡­ I still need to do this.¡± I hiss. ¡°We need to know more if we¡¯re to keep our beloved safe, Awnya. Either from the Fae, a Godthing, or the cunt herself. I will have them tell me or Rot.¡±


    She balks a bit at that. Whispers after a few seconds. ¡°Love, that wasn¡¯t the plan.¡±


    No.


    I huff and let my headstalks droop. Reach out with soul to nudge her''s and share my honest pained agreement. ¡°Of course. You¡¯re right. That¡­ I wish It could be. But¡­ I will not risk my life and our happiness in reckless spite.¡±


    That calms her, seems to convey my sudden outburst as the simple flair of anger it was. ¡°Good, because otherwise you know I¡¯d not let you leave otherwise.¡±


    ¡°Just¡­ Trades.¡± I nod, let a headstalk of mine help wipe away tears as I recite our plan. ¡°Gifts, favors, and the like. We¡¯ve found countless rare Tomes and a trove of impressive magical items. Threats are only good for the last possible options. And everything spoken from some of these beings will be answers we can use. Whether lies, half-truths, or taunts. All are pieces we can decipher.¡±


    ¡°Yup. You¡¯ll have all manner of good reasons to make these cunts sing.¡± Awnya agrees. ¡°And with Raska at your side¡­ even the scarier types will hesitate before considering trying something stupid. You¡¯ll walk from this place a Matron more impressive than any other! If¡­  and if we can get Lyra in a good place and our kids back safe with her you should take me with you. An Everflame is one thing but¡­ a Fae? Yeah that¡¯s¡­¡±


    But my shaking head stops her. ¡°No.¡±


    Awnya purses her lips but¡­ nods. ¡°Yeah. I¡­ I get it. My freeing of slaves was good and still is but¡­ right now that connection might still be unknown. Could hurt your status with some of them.¡±


    But I¡¯m shaking my head harder. ¡°That¡¯s not it either, beloved. I mean to be very clear about who I am and whom I¡¯m protecting. But¡­ Someone needs to remain to keep Lyra here.¡±


    That makes her pause. ¡°I¡­ oh.¡±


    ¡°Yes, oh!¡± I almost spit but¡­ not in anger.


    In roiling fear.


    ¡°If both of us leave there will be nothing to stop her from panicking.¡± I growl. ¡°From¡­ from either trying to shove through our home and hurting herself. Possibly triggering its more insistent Containment workings, or worse actually getting free and going back to that wretched cunt. Even just her being alone in case of a Waking Nightmare is unthinkable to me.¡±


    ¡°I mean¡­ Yuna is here.¡± She prompts weakly.


    ¡°She didn¡¯t stop her before, and that was when Lyra still thought her mother perfect. And now? I will not give her enough permissions in our home to matter.¡± I bury that innocent hope. ¡°No, love. It is either this or nothing. Take this risk or seal up this Manor and set to weather whatever storm comes. From within or without.¡±


    She huffs, sets me with a sad and annoyed smirk, but nods. ¡°Yeah. You¡¯re right. I just¡­ needed to go over it.¡± My beloved looks out of the slowly fading Rift. Eyes on the plant she¡¯d left when she returned to me. ¡°This¡­ is a risk. One I¡¯m caught between feeling is playing right into bad hands or¡­ thinking is bold and unpredictable.¡±


    ¡°A show of strength.¡± I agree, and follow her gaze.


    Make a choice.


    I rise, headstalks going stiff in worry as I consider the dangers of my considerations.


    ¡°Beloved?¡± Awnya asks carefully.


    I take up her hand. ¡°Just¡­ a few seconds will, at most, burn a bit. You can pull me back to safety should the worst occur.¡±


    My beloved pauses, squeezes my hand. ¡°If you think this safe then¡­ I¡¯m with you.¡±


    Deep breath, and I stride forward and out. Brace through the vertigo I¡¯ve not endured since childhood. The displacement of one moving through a tear, not needed to since my talent was just so much more efficient and devoid of this for me.


    The Rift Awnya chose is¡­ marvelous in its disparity. Half a strange forest saturated with odd colors and quiet creatures, the other part a savannah rife with large lumbering cackling things.


    And the sky above¡­ oh how the sun blazes as little clouds writhe about her fury. Inconceivably huge. Bigger than I remember. Too big. Too much. All at once I can¡¯t help but think at any second I could slip and tumble upwards into¨C


    The terror that grips me is honestly expected, and Awnya¡¯s already thinking to hum a soft thing of peace to help steady my heart and mind.


    I could just¡­ bask in this for days, but¡­ Priorities first.


    I glance down to my strange fuzzy little soul. Consider how its little tendrils dance while also moving up a hand to watch for¡­ but no. Nothing.


    The Blight my Wretched Incantation touched me with does not move. Nor can I see anything stir around my Amwella.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± I whisper as the first tears touch my eyes.


    ¡°You¡¯re welcome, love.¡± She murmurs softly, pulls arm close as my headstalks begin to cling to her.


    But even her touches and song cannot still the storm I feel rising past her efforts.


    ¡°I¡­ I think that¡¯s enough. For now.¡± I whisper, ¡°Slowly, I think.¡±


    She nods and helps me back up through the Rift. ¡°Yup, easy does it! If you mean to stand ready to stare down some spooky gooses you¡¯ll need the sight of the sky to not set your heart racing.¡±

 Chapter 112: Wounded Spirits and Familial Schemes

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    <u>CW:</u>


    Lyra POV, Then Tretion POV. Wounded spirits.


    Such an odd smell stirs me from the nap I¡¯d fallen into. It¡¯s¡­ kinda gross, but in that oddly familiar way that I can¡¯t help but focus more on. Breath deep and taste as I snuggle down on the soft beddings.


    Sort of a musky texture, tinted with¡­ blood? Huh. That¡¯s weird. The manor normally cleans up any mess I leave before I have time to consider it.


    Eyes finally drift open to look about and¡­ And lock on a little huddling of fuzzy nonsense on the far end of the bubble. I scrabble up, hissing a warning growl as¡­ as¡­


    She¡¯s hurt.


    Fur torn and stained with wounds deeper than even I gouged last time we fought, so much that despite wrapping herself in it all that she can, a leg pokes out of the mess at an odd angle.


    And she¡¯s shaking. A lot, actually.


    Slowly, and with all my tendrils writhing out to weave between us I crawl about halfway towards her. Reach out and nudge some of the fur.


    ¡°H¨C hey!¡± I growl.


    She flinches but¡­ remains hidden beneath as much fur as she can.


    Is this just her playing hurt to get a few extra bites in but¡­ No. And I might have torn up her weird fur mantle thing last time but¡­ not the rest. Something else got to her, and she ran out of the shadows to escape.


    I purse my lips a bit and just stare for a while. Considering how easy it would be to just¡­ rip and tear and bite and end this stupid spirit right now! She¡¯s hurt and not even trying to escape! But¡­ then my eyes drift over to that stupid soot scented journal and I can¡¯t help but remember some nonsense words written in it.


    ¡®The best thing I did was make nice with my first headmate. It was hard, and we hurt each other more than I can remember but¡­ together we¡¯ve been able to handle everything else. Both inside our head and outside. I literally would not be alive without my first. And even if I was offered the chance to rip out each of my headmates but keep my power, I¡¯d never do that. I love him too much.¡¯


    ¡°Oke¡­¡± I whisper and turn back to the fuzzy Fae spirit. ¡°Oke¡­ y¨C you r¨C rest here. B¨C but no att¨C attack¨C ing. O¨C oke?¡±


    A pause, and a pretty sapphire eye peeks out to stare back.


    I flare out my tendrils a touch more. ¡°Oke!?!¡±


    She nods, quickly and I swear with a little whimper, then pulls tighter into her mess of torn up fur.


    I scubble back and pull the blankets from my own bed back around me, focusing on the Fae spirit as the odd scent seems to lessen. And of course all the while I have to also pointedly ignore that blazing soul of six thought paths¡­


    Two are upset.


    Two don¡¯t care.


    One, the second largest, seems to thrum in approval.


    And at their core the biggest spirit nearly howls in such delight.


    I sigh in ¡®all the things.¡¯ As Awnya likes to say. A little worried about this fuzzy spirit being so close but¡­ She thrums nothing but weary pain. So I turn to slump back into my beddings and return to sleep.


    *     *     *


    ¡°None?¡± I ask.


    Raska shakes her head, grinning like I¡¯ve never seen. ¡°Nope! She still growls at them but¡­ no more attacks since that last time.¡±


    Almost a week now. And this strange soul companion has seemed to quiet her attacks. Even after Lyra insisted she is whole and well, the Fae spirit only sits and watches.


    I pause and look down. ¡°That¡­ that¡¯s good. Has she communicated yet?¡±


    Raska shakes her head. ¡°Not a word. But that¡¯s fine. They really tore into each other these past weeks. Let them grow comfortable then they¡¯ll open up.¡±


    Refusing to both return to the shadow, or speak. Will nod or shake her head when Lyra presses her but¡­ otherwise remains silent.


    I nod and return to my books for a while in comfortable silence.


    ¡°Are you still wanting to do this?¡± She eventually asks.


    I nod. ¡°Yes. Of course.¡±


    She considers that for a while. ¡°You¡¯re worried about something worse bubbling up.¡±


    This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.


    ¡°Lyra insists this spirit, at least once before, was Fae. It very nearly possessed her body, did tear up her Amwella, and all with one demand ever seemingly spoken.¡±


    Raska winces.


    Return to Theradas.


    Return, quite probably, to Thendra.


    But¡­ Why would the godthing¡¯s mantle want that? And¡­ and a Fae besides? Does this strange spirit have some kind of connection to the Fae Elders we don¡¯t know about?


    ¡°Why?¡± I hiss. ¡°Why would this imprinted spirit, and not the other, demand that?¡±


    ¡°Could be for quite a few reasons, right?¡± Raska asks. ¡°The godthings have ruled over their Rifts for a long time, maybe there is a¡­ a link between them and their homes?¡±


    I sigh and nod. ¡°Could be. But then why isn¡¯t this one taking the time to just¡­ explain that? Why resort to violence so quickly?¡± Then I look up to meet her gaze. ¡°And what could so fully harm it enough to both make it risk my Lyra¡¯s anger, and refuse to return to the safety it had in those shadows?¡±


    That sparks a bit of understanding in Raska¡¯s expression. ¡°You don¡¯t think she bubbled up on her own?¡±


    ¡°No. It, at the very least, shows us that worse things await within this mantle.¡± I reply. ¡°And at most¡­ that there''s a kind of will acting from it. With clear goals and desires. There is the risk that Lyra will soon be dealing with a spirit more foul.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, that tracks.¡± Raska nods, motions at the books. ¡°So¡­ Two days? Then we¡¯re heading out?¡±


    Headstalks of mine writhe in worry. ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Have you told her?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°Awnya and I are doing that tonight. Will lay out our plans and once she¡¯s calmed, ask her advice. She¡­ Well, she was with Thendra for many years and¡­ she¡¯s not told us everything. She could have the answers we need, even if she doesn¡¯t know it.¡±


    ¡°Do you want me there?¡± Raska asks softly.


    I consider that. ¡°Yes, but that might make Lyra less likely to share things. So no.¡±


    Raska sighs and nods. ¡°Yeah, I was gonna say the same thing. I¡¯ll be about if you need me, okay?¡±


    And soon, my second Fae lover arrives with the meal she has prepared for us all. Pulls me into a tight hug and leads us to our Beloved Bound. Lyra¡¯s reading when we get there. Fairly calm but¡­ her head and soul rise up quickly when we arrive. Expectantly.


    ¡°Heya love.¡± Awnya chimes. ¡°How¡¯re ya doing?¡±


    ¡°G¨C good.¡± Lyra replies and sets the book aside. ¡°Y¨C you b¨C both?¡±


    ¡°Better at seeing you well.¡± Awnya answers while pulling us forward. ¡°Brought food, wanted to go over all the things and like¡­ talk about future plans. If you''re okay with that?¡±


    Lyra nods. ¡°Mhm. Oke. Yes.¡±


    Awnya turns to me. ¡°Let''s get this sorted, before we get into the weeds of it all?¡±


    ¡°Yes, that sounds best.¡± I reply.


    So Awnya and I sort out the meal, preparing three separate bowls of the wonderfully smelling food. Lyra, of course, senses that something is about to change. Seems to read out souls so well these days, even without needing to touch them.


    But she trusts us, and it¡¯s not until Awnya sets such a grin on her face that Lyra begins to see the shape of things. And by the time I¡¯ve been set to hold our entire clutch of wonderfully sleeping children, her eyes are wide and dripping tears.


    I so much want to follow Awnya as she murmurs a soft request, and is allowed to pass into the space Lyra scrabbles to stand up in. Feel such an ache that almost awakens our young as they embrace and our beloved begins to weep. Sputtering and blubbering out such little cries of thanks and love.


    But¡­ I need to focus. Triggering my Amwella sight I consider and watch Lyra¡¯s soul. Waiting for anything bubbling up that could signal an attack.


    Awnya had to go first. Her access to Fae song and quick form makes the risk of her being wounded incredibly low. And with the manor ready to act? Minor scratches are the worst she may suffer.


    But¡­ other than some oddly twisting tendrils on the edges that seem to be poised to strike something without, nothing happens. And if I had to guess the spirit is probably sitting in that direction.


    So soon my Beloveds Bound are curled up together. Food partially being nibbled at but¡­ neither can consider the meal for long.


    ¡°So.¡± Awnya finally says while holding our lover close. ¡°How¡¯re things with this fuzzy Fae spirit. Has she said anything?¡±


    Lyra shakes her head. ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Weeeeeeeeell¡­¡± Awnya looks over in the direction Lyra¡¯s tendril seems to ward off. ¡°If she changes her mind, we¡¯d love to talk this out. There¡¯s no reason we can¡¯t settle into peace and healing here.¡±


    A pause, and Lyra looks over at an empty space. ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°She said no?¡±


    Lyra shakes her head. ¡°No. Just¡­ q¨C quiet. W¨C watching.¡±


    Awnya sighs and shrugs easily. ¡°Alright. It¡¯s an open offer though. You seem like a really interesting person, let us know if you change your mind.¡±


    Another pause, then Lyra murmurs. ¡°N¨C nothing. Still.¡±


    Her Fae lover¡¯s arm curl tight in reply. ¡°No worries. We have time.¡±


    Lyra leans into her, then peeks out through the arms to meet my gaze. ¡°Y¨C ou quiet.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but smile and nod. ¡°Yes. I¡­ yes. There are so many things I¡¯d like to talk with you about and¡­ honestly don¡¯t know where to start. And I¡¯m incredibly envious of you both right now. Want nothing more than to toss aside caution and join you but¡­¡±


    Her eyes drift down to my core, and the sleeping young about and within. ¡°O¨C ours.¡±


    I reach out to lay a hand on the smooth and warm surface between us. ¡°If you tell me it¡¯s safe, I¡­ I¡¯ll believe you. Cast aside these precautions even. You can sleep in our bed tonight.¡±


    She bites her lip so hard it bleeds at that, face wilts as she shakes her head and matches my hand with one of hers. ¡°N¨C no.¡±


    ¡°And not that monster business, either. You¡¯re safe. We know that.¡± Awnya adds. ¡°Just¡­ if your calm found with this Fae spirit has settled things we¡¯ll believe you.¡±


    ¡°No.¡± She whispers again, more pained but¡­ also more certain and confident.


    ¡°Alright.¡± I nod and give her a smile. ¡°We have all the time in the Dream to make it so. A few months is nothing compared to the life we¡¯re building.¡±


    She takes a deep breath and nods.


    ¡°Which¡­ leads us into some good news.¡± Awnya hugs her tighter. ¡°Something to look forward to!¡±


    Lyra turns to regard her, but my words pull her attention back. ¡°I¡¯ve¡­ been quite busy of late. Old research we set aside but needed to finish.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± She murmurs, face brimming with confusion.


    ¡°I um¡­ Well I¡¯ve adjusted the radiance of my flesh.¡± I start with precision I find comfort and steady focus in. ¡°Tested it out on plants and¡­ and even myself a few times now.¡±


    ¡°Muh?¡± She tilts her head. Still not putting my words to meanings.


    ¡°Sorry just¡­ I feel a touch guilty at not feeling your hand in mind as I got to see the sky again.¡±


    A pause, and her eyes go wide. ¡°F¨C free?¡±


    I nod. ¡°Yes, Beloved. I can leave this manor.¡±


    At first¡­ her only replies are tears and sobs. Joy and pain and¡­ and such drowning things that steal away coherent thought. I¡¯m so glad Awnya can hold her through it, and end up very nearly pressing myself into the barrier between us as I lean my head and stalks as close as possible. Cooing and murmuring alongside our Fae beloved as she works to comfort and steady our Lyra through this storm.


    Eventually she is spent though. Even whispered and wailed apologies quieted to just¡­ clinging to Awnya as a hand and mass of souls tendrils press on the opposite side of the barrier from me.


    ¡°Wh¨C¡± She whispers softly. ¡°Wh¨C why now?¡±


    So clever. More than she¡¯s ever let herself believe.


    I look to Awnya, whose soul is pressed tight to Lyra¡¯s. She nods. So I start. ¡°Because I want to head out and discover what I can about what this all means for your future.¡±


    She continues to gnaw at her lower lip, but nods. ¡°Oke. Wh¨C where? Wh¨C who?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ I¡¯m going to start slow. Venture back to a few libraries.¡± I start. ¡°From there¡­ My family had contacts. I mean to offer treasures of books and magical artifacts from this Manor for information.¡±


    ¡°And!¡± Awnya interjects. ¡°She¡¯s going to have Raska with her while you and I wait here.¡±


    That startles her a bit, she might pull to meet our Fae¡¯s gaze but¡­ such exhaustion keeps her nuzzled. ¡°N¨C not going t¨C too?¡±


    ¡°Nope. You and I are staying right here with our little ones.¡± Awnya gives her a little kiss on the head.


    ¡°B¨C but¡­¡± She murmurs. ¡°Wh¨C I¡­ I c¨C co¨C could¡­ m¨C mebe¡­¡±


    ¡°Nope.¡± Awnya gently cuts off her spiral. ¡°We¡¯re not going to rush into risking them. Or you being distracted and needing to keep them safe if something more scary than this fuzzy Fae bubbles up. And we¡¯ve worked things out to make sure the Manor¡¯s people will be managing themselves. I mean to stay right here, with you, until our Beloved Bound returns. Even if you felt safe enough to come out.¡±


    Lyra wants to argue but¡­ can¡¯t. Not once those last parts are spoken.


    It has taken weeks of organizing and long hours but¡­ Awnya did it well. Alongside Nelops she has taken what was a chaotic mess of misfit souls and helped them set up a steady bumble of self-run communities. Even got Yuna¡¯s and Usete¡¯s help in finalizing and finishing the blossoming of Groves for their easy use and access.


    Even without Lyra¡¯s Blight Weaving, they will survive for centuries before adjustments or resupplies would be needed. And when she heals and returns to aiding in that? Endless sustainability. So much so¡­ that we could even turn to fostering outside Rifts, if we felt like managing the risks of it.


    ¡°Oke¡­¡± Lyra finally murmurs. ¡°Wh¨C why not t¨C tell sooner?¡±


    I sigh. ¡°Because you needed to focus on your own battles and¡­ There is someone Raska and I mean to visit. A woman who I need to question, that I¡¯d like your advice on.¡±


    Lyra stiffens, sea-bed of a soul writhing in such confliction and need and guilt. So easy to spot, even though I can¡¯t reach out to feel it directly.


    ¡°Th¨C th¨C th¨C¡± She whispers, but¡­ can¡¯t get the name out.


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to say her name. But¡­ Yes, Beloved.¡± I say with all the steady calm Lyra needs to hear and see. ¡°I mean to reach out and organize a peaceful meeting with Thendra of the Thirteen. For you. To obtain any information she may have about what¡¯s happening in your soul.¡±

 Chapter 113: A Change of Plans, and A Shattered Oath

    <u>CW:</u>


    Not much. a touch of self-harm talk and worry about returning to abusers.


    No. NO! This¡­ they¡­ But¡­


    ¡°Hey¡­ hey! Lyra, It¡¯s alright. ¡± Awnya coos soft comforts while holding me so tight. ¡°No one¡¯s going anywhere, and this plan isn¡¯t set.¡±


    That¡­ helps stop my spiral. End my furious and sudden terror as I pull her soul ever closer. Incredibly careful but¡­ also needing to feel the truth in those last words.


    ¡°I¡­ C¨C can s¨C s¨C say n¨C no?¡± Is all I can whisper.


    ¡°Yeah¡­ And we¡¯re going to trust you.¡± Awnya says.


    ¡°No.¡± I reply instantly.


    She sighs but¡­ nods. ¡°Alright, but¡­ can we talk out the whys? Decide this together?¡±


    I pause at that, pull her arms closer and up to nibble at wrists and fingers and savor the taste and texture and warmth of her skin as I consider her request.


    So stupid. Risking this. But¡­ but while I beat back the weird Fuzzy Fae that¡­ that took time and¡­ and what if another one appears? What if they don¡¯t stop bubbling up and getting stronger and¡­ and I never get to hold Tretion or our Children ever again!?!


    ¡°Oke.¡± I finally murmur. ¡°Wh¨C whys?¡±


    ¡°Firstly, She may very well be one of the safest options.¡± Tretion starts. ¡°She, more than anyone else, has worked very hard to keep you loyal to her.¡±


    A well kept tool.


    ¡°Which¡­ That¡¯s why I think she helped us in the Fae Wood.¡± Awnya chimes in. ¡°That¡¯s why she didn¡¯t try and force her way here. I would have fought if she tried. She knows that if anything happened to me you¡¯d never forgive her.¡±


    Blighted by my Beloved¡¯s love.


    ¡°B¨C but¡­ Wh¨C what if sh¨C she h¨C hurts you?¡± I whisper. ¡°O¨C or¡­ or k¨C keep t¨C till I g¨C go back?¡±


    Tretion tilts her head and tendrils. ¡°How would she keep you after you returned? You¡¯re stronger than ever now. And¡­ if she did hurt Awnya or I could you ever really forgive her?¡±


    I wince as¡­ as such horrid fantasy¡¯s drift through my mind''s eye. Of Tretion hurt and broken or¡­ or worse¡­


    No. No I would¡­ would¡­ I¡¯m not sure. But forgiveness wouldn¡¯t be an option.


    I shiver and shake my head.


    ¡°B¨C but¡­ Sh¨C she¡­ I¡­ j¨C just¡­¡± I stammer quietly, then finally whisper. ¡°Y¨C you hate h¨C her.¡±


    Tretion nods, and Awnya¡¯s soul thrums in obvious agreement as she chimes. ¡°Yeah. Of course.¡±


    A pause, and somehow Tretion just¡­ understands the worry I have festering.


    ¡°Lyra¡­¡± She whispers. ¡°I mean to simply speak with her. Will gain Oaths like she gave when I first met you to ensure things remain peaceful. And as much as I¡¯d like for my own barbed insults to wound¡­ I doubt rousing her to anger is a thing I could do.¡±


    ¡°H¨C how g¨C get t¨C to tell things?¡± I ask.


    ¡°Trades.¡± Awnya picks up. ¡°There are a lot of valuable things here. Books and treasures and the like.¡±


    I consider that. All the¡­ the little oddities Thendra collected over the years. Often prizes for the things she had me do. The¡­ the souls she had me Reave.


    Awnya squeezes me tighter, sensing my darker thoughts.


    ¡°B¨C but¡­¡± I murmur, gently latching teeth once again into my Fae Beloved¡¯s wrist. ¡°Wh¨C What if only w¨C want m¨C m¨C me?¡±


    Or worse¡­ What if she doesn¡¯t?


    ¡°Then¡­ I leave. And my earlier words hold true.¡± Tretion shrugs easily, then pauses in thoughtful considerations before slowly continuing. ¡°Lyra¡­ I think¡­ If I had to guess that Reaver is very old. Which is odd for a soul drinker, and why even my grandmother thought her nothing but a young beast. Sorts such as her don¡¯t last very long, but when they do¡­ it''s for a reason.¡±


    [The cost of tearing fire from the Dream and infesting yourself with all their Blights.] Comes a soft murmur from¡­


    I very nearly jerk as I curl around my Awnya to regard the lump nuzzled in the corner. She¡­ She¡¯s healed. Looks and feels better than she did when I woke to her wounded and scared. Still roils with annoyance and hatred for me but¡­ hasn¡¯t attacked or talked or like¡­ done anything!


    Just watched.


    ¡°Wh¨C what?¡± I murmur.


    A single sandy eye peeks out from the bundle. But she does not repeat herself.


    A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Awnya asks, ¡°Did¡­ Did that spirit talk?¡±


    I nod and¡­ try my best to repeat her words.


    ¡°Yes.¡± Tretion nods, tendrils swaying in both worry and interest as she turns to regard the space she thinks the spirit huddles in. ¡°And that¡¯s what worries me. For a thing to survive as long as she had after feasting, means that she either has a way to stave off any illnesses or ailments from the act, is immune, or¡­ simply bears them.¡±


    Awnya huffs. ¡°Would explain why she¡¯s such a cunt.¡±


    I watch the Fae spirit for a reply but¡­ she only turns away and nuzzles deeper into her fuzzy pile.


    ¡°Did she¡­¡± Awnya prompts after a moment.


    I shake my head.


    ¡°That¡¯s alright.¡± Tretion states instantly. ¡°Thank you for your words. I¡­ I would be more than willing to extend to you whatever hospitalities of this Manor I can offer, if you¡¯ll claim the same as our guest.¡±


    A surprised flutter but¡­ still no more words. Just¡­ a thrumming of weary fear and pain.


    ¡°Let us know if she says anything else. There¡¯s no rush.¡± Awnya adds.


    I nod and turn back to face our beloved Watcher.


    ¡°Did she ever tell you how she does that? Handles the burden or washes off the consequences?¡± Awnya asks.


    I think on that, then shake my head. ¡°Sh¨C she didn¡¯t c¨C consume o¨C others m¨C m¨C much. O¨C only¡­¡±


    Me.


    Our Watcher can¡¯t suppress the flutter of sadness and worry. ¡°Did she ever talk elsewise about what she wanted from you? Both in the long or short term?¡±


    ¡°J¨C just¡­¡± I whisper. ¡°N¨C no. J¨C just K¨C k¨C k¨Ck¨C¡±


    Kept me.


    She nods. Understanding so easily. ¡°Alright. Then¡­ While this isn¡¯t the most preferable path, it avoided parlaying with Fae. They¡­ Well after that huntress ambushed Awnya I think any hope of peace with them is long past. Thendra is the enemy of our enemy. She only gains from peaceful talks with me.¡±


    I bite my lip and look away. Sea-bed writhing in worry and fear and¡­ and¡­


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits I¡­ I¡­


    ¡°And¡­ wh¨C what if F¨C Fae a¨C attack again?¡±


    Tretion smiles a bit darkly at that. ¡°No Fae song will enchant or ensoul me again, beloved. If a huntress appears like one did with Awnya¡­ Well, she¡¯ll find us prepared. I will burn anyone to ash who would keep me from returning or attempting to follow.¡±


    Awnya tenses but¡­ nods. ¡°Yeah, that¡­ They should know better. But after what Thendra did to that Huntress you¡¯ll need to be extra careful. I hope that was enough to scare them off but¡­ I didn¡¯t even know Fae like that existed.¡±


    ¡°And if Thendra fought something that horrid off once before she¡¯ll no doubt be ready to do it again.¡± Tretion adds.


    I¡­ Would you? I think at the shard within my soul. Please? K¨C keep them both safe?


    ¡°And the plan would be to avoid Theradas and all Rifts they may know we might frequent. Send messages through allies and proxies to organize a meeting on neutral ground. Probably a Blighted Rift.¡± Our Watcher continues.


    ¡°Yup, The Fae will avoid those places, and Tretion will have Raska with her to battle back any Rot once they arrive.¡± Awnya agrees.


    I wince and look away. Stare at the fuzzy Fae napping in the corner.


    ¡°B¨C but¡­ D¨C don¡¯t want t¨C to¡­ to lose you.¡± I whisper. ¡°E¨C either of you.¡±


    ¡°You won¡¯t.¡± Tretion whispers softly, ¡°Never again. I will keep my promises to you. Will burn anything and everything between us. But¡­ Nor will I let this mantle hurt you while I¡¯m still able to help. Thendra will give me answers, then I will return to you.¡±


    ¡°A¨C and¡­ if no r¨C return?¡± I turn my most serious look on her. ¡°W¨C will c¨C come find y¨Cyou. N¨C not Awnya. M¨C me.¡±


    They both go still at that.


    ¡°Oke?¡± I press. ¡°I a¨C agree to th¨C this, b¨C but if d¨C don¡¯t c¨C come b¨C back then¡­ th¨C en I Br¨C bring you b¨C back.¡±


    ¡°Beloved, I¡­¡± Our Watcher stammers, tendrils all a mess. ¡°That¡¯s not¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah no, that¡¯s a no from me.¡± Our Fae chuckles. ¡°If something happens and Tretion and Raska don¡¯t make it back when expected we¡¯re both going out. Together. Nothing in the Rifts or beyond will stop us from bringing you back, love.¡±


    I can¡¯t stop the grin that bubbles up as I let myself fall back into my wonderful Fae and her support in this.


    ¡°I¡­ fine. Yes.¡± Tretion huffs, ¡°Of course. I¡¯d not want either of you alone out there, especially with our young, but¡­ nor would I want any of us to be alone. Never again. Would¡­ and¡­¡±


    A pause, and our wonderful Fae¡¯s soul alights with Inspiration.


    Tretion catches whatever it is in her eyes and freezes. ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Why not?¡± Awnya counters.


    ¡°For¡­ for dozens of reasons!¡± Tretion stammers.


    ¡°Alright, then lay them out to us.¡± Our Fae presses.


    ¡°Wh¨C what?¡± I twist to look between them.


    Tretion sighs and falls back to sitting back a bit. Regards us both.


    ¡°Do you trust her¡­ or don¡¯t you?¡± Awnya whispers softly. ¡°If the answer is no then I can respect that.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s less a matter of trust and more¡­ more a matter of¡­¡± Tretion trails off. Openly glaring at a far wall.


    ¡°I know love.¡± Awnya murmurs. ¡°But¡­ I think it kinda needs to happen that way. It¡¯s¡­ we¡¯re a family. And if making sure one of us comes home means everyone else needs to take on some risks I¡­ I hate that we need to. Sure. But I would honestly face all the horrors in the Dream with you both by my side than see one of you lost to me.¡±


    And then I get it.


    ¡°A¨C all g¨C go?¡± I whisper.


    ¡°Yup. That¡¯s what I¡¯m thinking is best now.¡± Awnya nods.


    Tretion winces. ¡°I just¡­ Lyra I¡­¡± She takes a deep and shaky breath. ¡°I¡¯m afraid. Not that¡­ that we¡¯d be attacked. We could handle that. Easily. But¡­¡±


    She trails off, and looks back to me.


    ¡°A¨C afraid I¡¯ll w¨C want t¨C to g¨C go b¨C b¨C back.¡± I huff, and nod. ¡°Y¨C yeah. S¨C sorry. I¡­ W¨C want to. K¨C kind of. N¨C not always. Not as m¨C much. B¨C but won¡¯t. W¨C want to st¨C ay w¨C with y¨C you b¨C both m¨C more. K¨C keep J¨C jellyfish s¨C safe.¡±


    Awnya leans into me. ¡°This¡­ this is gonna hurt. I think. A lot. But I think you can do it. Can tell her no if she asks or¡­ or demands you return. Especially with us there. With your children close.¡±


    I take a deep breath and nod. ¡°H¨C hard. B¨C but¡­ w¨C want to d¨C do this.¡±


    Our Watcher¡¯s eyes bubble with tears. ¡°Were it so easy? Lyra I¡­ I know what it is to have someone who hurt you endlessly, attempt to lure you back with but the barest showing of affection. Can understand just¡­ how helpless we can become beneath that, and that¡¯s with myself knowing very much that I did not suffer as you did.¡±


    All I¡­


    No.


    No, I deserve this.


    Them. This happiness.


    Right?


    ¡°I kn¨C know. B¨C but pr¨C promi¨C mised. W¨C want th¨C this. W¨C will c¨C come b¨C back.¡± I reach out to touch the edge of the barrier. ¡°C¨C can tr¨C trust me? Pl¨C please? L¨C let m¨C me keep s¨C safe.¡±


    ¡°And what if another spirit attacks or¡­ or rises up at the wrong moment?¡± She pleads, leaning forward to touch her hand to the other side.


    ¡°Th¨C then y¨C you bo¨C both k¨C k¨C keep Jellyfish safe.¡± I lean forward, ¡°A¨C and I h¨C handle it. B¨C better to d¨C do b¨C before g¨C get bad. F¨C fuzzy Sp¨Cspirit won¡¯t att¨Ctack. N¨C not again.¡±


    A pause, and I can see it. See her about to say no.


    ¡°A¨C and¡­ Need t¨C to s¨C say things¡­¡± I whisper. ¡°T¨C tell Th¨C th¨C Thendra g¨C goodbye.¡±


    In person. See how she reacts to that and¡­ thank you for¡­ for finding me in those woods. But¡­ I don¡¯t tell her that part.


    She nods, slowly. ¡°I¡­ But we¡¯ll need to lay things out. Meet on neutral ground and¡­ prepare more magic items and spells and¡­¡± She pauses tendrils writhing in more pointed worry. ¡°I¡­ I still want Raska to be with us.¡±


    I repress my own urge to wince, instead nod with more confidence than I know I have. ¡°Y¨C yes. O¨C oke. G¨C good t¨C to h¨C have h¨C her.¡±


    ¡°Would¡­¡± Awnya murmurs. ¡°Okay, Dreamer Tits, let¡¯s¡­ We should probably call her into this then.¡±


    A pause passes.


    ¡°Are you comfortable with that, love?¡± Tretion murmurs. ¡°I need to free her from the Oaths so we can all talk and share openly. I¡¯ll ask her to¡­ stay on task. Avoid talking about your past together?¡±


    I nod. ¡°Oke.¡±


    Raska arrives quickly. Moves to stand close but remains silent. The core of her flame dancing in anticipation and curiosity.


    Our Watcher turns and smiles softly. ¡°Have a seat?¡±


    Raska hesitates, but nods. Sliding down to sit but, back still. At a distance.


    ¡°We¡¯ve talked some things over and¡­ decided on some changes.¡± Tretion begins. ¡°Big ones. We¡¯ve¡­ decided that none of us are willing to face a future where someone we love doesn¡¯t come home. So¡­ we mean to make this outing together. All together.¡±


    The Spark between her horns dances as she takes that in, glimmering eyes drifting between her and Awnya and myself. Amwella suddenly all wiggling with disparate thoughts and feelings and¡­ honestly more than I can spot. Much less understand.


    ¡°Which¡­ means we need to make additional plans and preparations. And¡­ for them I¡¯d like to free you from this Oath of silence when in the presence of my Beloved.¡±


    She goes stiff at that. Face twisting into a mess as her soul splits between such odd angers and hope and worries.


    ¡°But¡­ with a few requests.¡± Tretion murmurs softly. ¡°We¡¯d like to keep these talks on task, alright? Avoid¡­ topics of past events unless they pertain to this outing?¡±


    Raska swallows, nods. Amwella even more divided but¡­ solidifying into pained acceptance.


    ¡°Alright, then¡­ Duenna Raska of the Everflames, I free you from your Oaths of silence.¡±


    An odd¡­. Swirl wibbles through Raska''s soul. Causing her to shiver and tremble as that Spark flares a bit. Then she takes a gulp of air I didn¡¯t realize she was holding back.


    ¡°Th¨C thank you. Matron Tretion. And¡­¡± She rasps, then freezes, very carefully turns eyes to mine. ¡°Lyra. Awnya. I¡­ yeah. Thanks. I¡¯ll do anything I can to help keep you all safe.¡±


    I want to look away. Can see all sorts of things I¡¯d to run away from bubbling up and through her soul but¡­ but can only lean just a little harder into our wonderful Fae.


    She winces, looks down.


    ¡°Hey, let¡¯s not get this all tangled.¡± Awnya squeezes me tighter. ¡°We¡¯re going to keep each other safe. You¡¯re walking with us as an ally, not a guardian. Your girls would never stand for us letting you get lost out there.¡±


    I nod, manage to whisper. ¡°E¨C e¨C ever¨C y¨C one c¨C comes h¨C home.¡±


    She glances back up. Nods. ¡°Yeah. Okay. Absolutely. Two Fae, A Matron of Watchers, and a spitfire like me should be able to handle anything. No problem.¡±


    ¡°But that still means we need to plan things.¡± Tretion prompts. ¡°Organize ourselves well. So, let¡¯s get started.¡±

 Chapter 114: Popping Bubbles

    <u>CW:</u>


    Snuggles. Talk of past abuse. and weaving Promise Songs to make sure your trauma cannot pass to your children.


    ¡°Th¨C thank y¨C you.¡± I manage to murmur to her as I pull back to settle in Awnya¡¯s lap.


    Everyone pauses.


    I¡¯d¡­ not talked much. Too hard to try and¡­ honestly not much to add. Even after a few hours of talks about possible Rifts and people and¡­ how to organize a talk with Thendra without the chance of the Fae finding out about it.


    So of course even a whispered deliberate thing like that catches everyone off guard.


    I sigh and¡­ hold up the notebook. Glance at Raska. ¡°F¨C for Th¨C this.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ yeah. Thought¡­ Yeah. You¡¯re very welcome.¡± Raska says carefully.


    And I see the odd twisting question within the core of her soul, am letting stammer out before I can stop, ¡°Sm¨C smells l¨C like y¨C you.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± She pauses, soul a mess of confusion and worry.


    I huff and end up mumbling, ¡°N¨C not b¨C bad th¨C thing. Al¨C ways l¨C liked.¡±


    A pause, then the Core of her Amwella and Spark are wriggling about in surprise and¡­ and all the good things at that.


    ¡°Thanks.¡± She smirks carefully. ¡°Hope it helped you figure things out.¡±


    I shake my head, feel my own lip quirk. ¡°N¨C not r¨C really. B¨C but¡­ did in o¨C other ways.¡±


    That makes her tilt herself to the side as her soul nibbles on that. Eventually just¡­ asking ¡°I¡­ huh?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­¡± I huff. ¡°H¨C hard t¨C to Ex¨C pl¨C plain.¡±


    She nods, slowly and carefully.


    Then Tretion asks a question about¡­ something into the awkward quiet. Someone or somewhere and¡­ I just can¡¯t follow it. Too lost in trying to untangle my own mess of emotions. Like¡­ like staring at a pit of wriggly nonsense that¡¯s sat still enough for years just¡­ suddenly disturbed. Whatever is beneath isn¡¯t mad just¡­ trying to pull from the muck.


    That¡¯s how her journal makes me feel. But¡­ well it¡¯s not like I¡¯m going to try to find words for that mess!


    And so I go quiet again, only really notice I missed a question when Awnya nudges me.


    ¡°Huh?¡± I look up and between them. ¡°S¨C sorry?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine, we¡¯re just trying to decide where to hold this meeting.¡± Tretion supplies. ¡°Theradas is out of the question, if the Fae had ways of watching for Awnya in the Wood there they will likely be watching that manor. Did¡­ can you share some of the places you visited with her? Rifts we could return to for this?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­¡±


    I try to describe a few. Stumbling and stammering without really knowing any names or details beyond my own fuzzy memories. But¡­


    ¡°Yeah¡­ Those all sound like places on the border between Dreadweave¡¯s and Furthonois territory.¡± Raska rasps out. ¡°Some with thin enough borders to nearly walk between, places an Everflame can just¡­ burn their way through if they expend the energy.¡±


    Tretion¡¯s eyes widen a bit. ¡°Truly?¡±


    Raska shrugs. ¡°I mean¡­ you have to be a little stupid to try. But yeah.¡±


    A pause.


    ¡°H¨C have you tr¨C tried?¡± I ask.


    ¡°Yup.¡± She grins wider. ¡°It was¡­ so my First Flame was only just beginning to share words with me, and I was¡­ not in a good place. Hadn¡¯t really worked out how to shift my body. So¡­ I kinda went out in search for that. Mad as all the Dead Cinders and ready to burn the Rifts down. Was originally planning to hunt down a Fae to force one to show me how.¡±


    Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    Everyone else here kinda stiffens, unable to see just¡­ just how little this bothers her. Like¡­ there is pain there, but this¡­


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± Awnya huffs out a chuckle, ¡°That¡¯s¡­ wow. I¡¯m sorry you had to do that.¡±


    Raska eyes her with a smirk. ¡°It all worked out. It¡¯s how I found Wren and the rest of my girls. Then started learning shifting things from my First Flame.¡±


    Another pause. Long enough for me to blurt out a stupid question.


    ¡°H¨C how Th¨C they?¡± I whisper. ¡°L¨C like it h¨C here?¡±


    If everyone¡¯s souls were a bit tense before, they all are tinted with such sudden worry. Well¡­ all except Raska¡¯s core.


    ¡°Good. Really really good. They love it here. Like, a lot.¡± She answers immediately. ¡°Was worried it might be crowded but¡­ Naw. Other than the sky above this place has everything. Used to we had to just¡­ keep close for fear of some sort of danger boiling up to be a problem and snatch someone away. But here? We can spread out a bit. Watch each other feel safe enough to lean into others.¡±


    I nod. ¡°G¨C good. G¨C glad. Th¨C they d¨C deserve t¨C th¨C that.¡±


    ¡°Thanks. They¡­ they do. And¡­¡± She nods, and I only just notice her glance up and over at my Tretion, who tilts her head in¡­ something? A question bubbles across her soul at the same time one does on Raska¡¯s. But¡­


    Raska¡¯s expression twists, then she turns back to fully face me. ¡°They miss you, and¡­ and I¡¯m so sorry. Girl. For what I did. For how I¡­ I just¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    I want to look away. Want to run. Would¡­ would love to just melt into the Fae who holds me close as a tremble rolls through my everything.


    After swallowing hard I mumble. ¡°M¨C my f¨C fault. Sh¨C should h¨C h¨C have t¨C told y¨C y¨C¡±


    Raska¡¯s vicious shaking of her head cuts off my words. ¡°No. Fuck that. By the Dead Cinders you¡­ you had a right to keep your past to yourself. Even if you knew about my bitter hatred toward Fae. More so then! I¡­ Lyra, you needed us. So badly then. Didn¡¯t know how much till I got here. With the way things were headed we¡­ we would have fought to keep you from leaving with Thendra. Or¡­ or at least given you a place to hide when things got bad with her. But¡­ but I RUINED that!¡±


    I don¡¯t¡­ really believe her. How can I? She¡­ she doesn¡¯t know how much of a mess I am. Just¡­ I even end up letting stupid words spill out despite my Fae¡¯s warm embrace and thrumming supportive soul nuzzled close.


    ¡°N¨C no. A¨C am¡­ um¡­ W¨C was R¨C r¨C Reaver. D¨C dan¨C ger¨C ous.¡± I murmur.


    Raska¡¯s smiling again as my Fae sighs softly in disagreement. It¡¯s a painful thing but¡­ soul seems mostly¡­ like¡­ I mean it¡¯s hurting. But for me? Or¡­ I mean Tretion and Awnya thrum with that a lot so it¡¯s easy to spot.


    ¡°Girl, You didn¡¯t even try to fight back.¡± She says very softly. ¡°And we both know, now more than even then, that you could have stopped me or ran. You wanted to stay, thought you could be safe with us, and I fucked that up. We could have gotten you to leave her. I know we could have!¡± Her Sparkflame eyes dance over my scars, then back up to my face as her shoulders and soul tremble in guilt and regret. ¡°Just¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m so so sorry.¡±


    ¡°It¡­¡± I nibble my lip, and finally tear my eyes away. ¡°It oke. W¨C wouldn¡¯t h¨C have l¨C left. N¨C not¡­ I w¨C was¡­ t¨C tool.¡±


    She winces. ¡°I¡­¡±


    A few seconds pass before Raska murmurs quietly. ¡°I¡­ I know I don¡¯t have any right to ask or¡­ or anything but¡­ I didn¡¯t expect them to let you be a part of this. Let you out of the manor, much less see the cunt again. And¡­ And I just¡­ don¡¯t want to see you go back to her. If you need to be there to keep your lovers safe I get that but¡­ I just¡­ I need you to know they¡¯re right. Okay? You deserve better than her. Deserve them. Deserve this home.¡±


    I sigh and shuffle uncomfortably in Awnya¡¯s arms. ¡°St¨C stupid. D¨C don¡¯t. B¨C but¡­¡± Eyes drift to watch my Jellyfish nuzzle close to our wonderful Watcher¡¯s soul. ¡°Th¨C they do. At l¨C least. W¨C want to s¨C stay h¨C here. I¨C is m¨C my h¨C home. Th¨C their h¨C home.¡±


    Her soul is practically seething with all the words and feelings and things at my words, but¡­ it¡¯s Awnya who huffs out a laugh and pulls me close to murmur.


    ¡°I¡¯ve let you get away with too much of that for one day.¡± She whispers, but definitely loud enough for everyone to hear. Her Amwella pulsing really distracting amounts of furious desire flooding out. ¡°Don¡¯t think I won¡¯t remember this, beloved.¡±


    I¡¯m a flustered mess in her arms. Face filled with heat that trickles all down through me. Just¡­ starts to touch deeper spots.


    ¡°Right.¡± Raska huffs. ¡°Sorry. Got us off track.¡±


    Tretion lays a hand on her knee. ¡°It¡­ this was important.¡±


    ¡°Yup!¡± Awnya smirks. ¡°Because¡­ This has a chance of getting messy. Really messy. Before we even like¡­ start seeing about leaving.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± I try to wiggle around to face her. Such¡­ odd motes of inspiration forming in her soul.


    ¡°She¡¯s right.¡± Tretion agrees, and I turn back to face her. ¡°We¡¯re not just going to go running off into the wider Rifts and simply hope nothing attacks you from within or without. It¡¯s better we face the risks in safer places, then venture forth with the solid and well-trained knowledge of what to expect.¡±


    That seems to relax Raska more than anything else. ¡°Oh, fuck me. That¡­ yeah. Good. No deadline then? Just¡­ take this as slow as we can and react to the sparks that kick up?¡±


    Tretion nods. ¡°Yes. We can always resort to our first plan if things get really bad. But for now¡­ we take the first steps here. Starting, I think¡­ with us seeing if anything changes when we have Lyra step forth from that containment working. If this Fuzzy Fae Spirit really means to remain docile.¡±


    I go stiff. ¡°I¡­ b¨C but¡­¡±


    Can¡¯t. Not safe yet. Am¡­ I¡¯m dangerous and a monster and¡­ and I can¡¯t¡­ but she¡­


    Our wonderful Watcher turns to me with such a soft smile. ¡°It doesn¡¯t have to be for long if problems arise, and with the three of us here we can act quickly if something happens.¡±


    ¡°I think that¡¯s a great idea.¡± Awnya nudges me when I don¡¯t move. ¡°Seriously. She¡¯s been sooo rightfully jealous that I¡¯ve been the only one to hold you. And¡­ Well, of course the little one¡¯s miss their birth mother.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡±


    Tretion reaches out and lays a hand on the barrier. ¡°I¡¯d woven a dozen or so requests and instructions to the Manor in case something happens, beloved. Us, and our young, will be safe. I¡¯m fairly certain it could even bubble each of them and keep them isolated if it really needed to.¡±


    Nibbling on my lip, I consider this.


    Then I nod.


    And with a pop, the bubble around us is gone.


    I don¡¯t move at first, and¡­ and no one else does either. Just¡­ Amwella echoing a patience for me to take this as slow as I want. Well¡­ all except my Jellyfish. It only takes them a second to begin to notice something is different. Sense the change in Tretion¡¯s soul and excitement for something.


    For me.


    And before I can even think to bubble up a little song to them the clutch is twisting free of their second mother and rushing me. Slamming into my Amwella and would have very much knocked me backwards if our Fae wasn¡¯t there to hold me steady.


    A symphony of love and delight tinted with titters of worry and fear overwhelm me. So happy to be swimming and dancing back in my Sea-Bed of a soul but¡­ also so very scared that I¡¯ll push them away again.


    Something cracks at that.


    I¡¯m dredging through that old curse¡¯s sting to hum the softest melody of love and regret and¡­ so much more. A tide of memories of my own Fae mother sending me away because¡­ because she thought it was better for me to be safe but without her close than¡­ then face things together. And she was wrong to do that! Wrong to let me leave later to find Awnya and... and... and so I compose them a song of Promise.


    Better in danger with our family, then alone.


    Always.


    I¡¯m not sure how long I weep this Promise Song, or exactly when Tretion¡¯s moved forward to scoop me up and wrap us all in her mess of loving tendrils, or the moment Awnya is able to twist her own mess of emotions into the song¡¯s harmony.


    But I do look up to watch as Raska steps from the room, and feel such an ache as the door closes behind her.

 Chapter 115: The Maybe Parts Within the Soul

    <u>CW:</u>


    Scary soul predators and accepting Plural things and AHHH! Finding out about misgendering and correcting the mistake.


    If it weren¡¯t for the weird fuzzy Fae spirit curled up at the edges of my soul, I¡¯d have drug both my Beloveds into as many Amwella dances as they could stand. But¡­ aside from some wonderful kisses and aggressive nuzzling we avoided all of us getting too distracted.


    ¡°Need to make sure this stupid thing doesn¡¯t try to pounce when we¡¯re tongue deep in each other.¡± Our Fae had laughed.


    BUT they¡­ they pulled me to my feet and led me to the door and¡­ and like I could see and guess easily where they meant to take me but¡­ but the tears start flowing again as the door opens and I see it.


    Our chambers.


    Like¡­ like they never really left me alone before. The Manor was always close but¡­ but this¡­


    ¡°Alright, Beloved.¡± Tretion murmurs after going through a litany of itchy words to the manor. ¡°If anything seems to happen, tell us right away. We¡¯ll ignite the Binding within our souls and pull our young free as the manor establishes another barrier around you.¡±


    ¡°Um¡­¡± I murmur, Promise Song wibbling at the edges of my mind and soul. Causing my Jellyfish to nuzzle close.


    Awnya smirks and tugs us forward. ¡°Won¡¯t be alone. We¡¯ll be here and close and ready to help. Just¡­ making sure the little ones aren¡¯t too close to anything spooky.¡±


    That settles it, and I huff in relief. ¡°Oke.¡±


    We don¡¯t say much as we gather up into the big bed. Don¡¯t need to as we all just get to¡­ to bask in each other. Anytime I begin to get a little worried I snuggle closer in body and soul. Let my Tretion¡¯s cold steady focus, Awnya¡¯s fiery determinations, and our childrens¡¯ wibbly love calm and settle me.


    Eventually drifting off to sleep within the embraces of my most treasured family.


    ***


    It¡¯s her fear that wakes me. Stirs me to sit up and gaze about from my lovers and Jellyfish to look around until I spot¡­


    She¡¯s closer to me than she¡¯s normally comfortable being, and¡­ huh. Naranggas I¡¯d always kept pointed at her are curled about but¡­ not touching. Just springing out a few sharp bits to reflect the subtle warnings of my soul.


    But¡­ What''s she so scared of? Not me. I mean¡­she IS scared of me. That¡¯s a good thing! Keeps me and my family safe to sleep close again. But¡­


    She barely seems to notice me right now.


    Her eyes locked on the pitched shadows beneath and behind.


    I pause, tilting my head as I examine it. Sensing¡­


    Something. Reaver instincts aren¡¯t flaring but¡­ now that I¡¯m looking things within my gut roil a bit.


    Jellyfish nuzzle closer though. Filling me with their echoing snoozie joys and happiness. Helping to steady my mind as I look between this fuzzy spirit and the darkness she¡¯s even now trying to scoot away from.


    Considering¡­ All the things. Should I wake up my Beloveds and ask them?


    Mebe.


    But¡­ hm¡­ I¡¯m not sure they could do much to help? Whatever is lurking in the shadows seems¡­ I¡¯m not sure. Like either it can¡¯t see us or¡­ or doesn¡¯t want to attack? Knows it would go badly for it?


    So I turn to the fuzzy fox Fae, and nudge her gently with a tendril.


    She flinches, but peeks out from her layers of fur at me while seeming to keep the pitch in her sights.


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    I wordlessly reach out and pat the bed. An offer.


    She narrows her eyes.


    I sigh and pat it again.


    Her expression turns¡­ confused, worried. But¡­ hopeful?


    I pull back some of my wiggly tendrils to encompass a little circle in the spot. Wrapping into a little space.


    She bites her lip at that, then¡­ very slowly moves to drift and crawl closer. Glancing back every few feet to regard the pitch.


    Once she¡¯s within the space I fix her with a serious look. Stretch out with the Core of my Amwella to her. Another offering.


    She winces, looks back to the pitch, then nods and leans into the touch while squeezing her eyes shut.


    Wordless Fear and Pain and Terror and Submission and Pleading roils through her. So hot and vibrant I almost jerk away but¡­ don¡¯t. Instead take a deep breath and consider this clear look at her will and plans and deeper things.


    And¡­ I find only more the same. Shame and Weariness and a desperate longing to just¡­ find safety.


    And something about that makes me gift her words as clearly as I can through this temporary touching of souls. Don¡¯t attack, and¡­ I¡¯ll you keep safe?


    Her eyes slowly open at that, and her soul stills. Still terrified but¡­ hopeful again as she nods once.


    ¡°Oke¡­¡± I murmur softly, needing to pull my core back to keep my mind steady. ¡°You sleep. N¨C nothing w¨C will att¨C attack tonight.¡±


    Curling my Naranggas to form a wall between her and the pitched shadows I move to nuzzle back with my lovers and¡­


    Find Tretion waking up. Which¡­ makes sense. Her tendrils are still kinda wibbling after me and both their souls are sleeping pretty restlessly. If not for our Jellyfish and my Naranggas they might not get any sleep at all with how worried they are.


    ¡°Is everything alright?¡± She whispers softly, half gathering me up in her arms.


    ¡°Mhm. Think so.¡± I¡¯m able to whisper clearly. ¡°J¨C just¡­ Letting f¨C fuzzy sp¨C spirit sleep cl¨C close. W¨C was sc¨C scared of th¨C things in sh¨C shadows. B¨C but we are s¨C safe.¡±


    She hesitates, then smiles softly. ¡°Alright. Should we remain awake for a bit? Make sure nothing rises from the depths?¡±


    I wibble back and forth on that, and¡­ eventually nod. ¡°Y¨C yeah. M¨C make sure.¡±


    Our Watcher nods, and pulls me close while the fuzzy spirit seems to curl about herself tighter. Bubbling with less fear but¡­ still weary. Still so scared.


    Awnya stirs soon enough, notices both of us sitting up and waiting. ¡°Everything okay?¡±


    I nod, and let Tretion repeat my words.


    ¡°Hmm¡­ And you''re sure we¡¯re safe?¡±


    ¡°Mhm. J¨C just¡­ B¨C big s¨C s¨C som¨C th¨C thing. D¨C don¡¯t th¨C think it c¨C can r¨C reach us.¡±


    The fuzzy spirit looks back to regard me with raised eyebrows.


    I shrug. ¡°R¨C r¨C r¨C reaver b¨C bits s¨C say n¨C no.¡±


    Awnya¡¯s soul flickers with worry while Tretion¡¯s tendrils and Amwella titter with curiosity.


    I huff and look down. ¡°J¨C just¡­ T¨C taught t¨C to f¨C feel d¨C danger. M¨C move w¨C without th¨C thinking b¨C before a¨C aatt¨C attack h¨C hits m¨C me.¡±


    Our Fae nods slowly. ¡°Yeah. I got a feeling like that too. Was how I could tell that Fae Elder was tracking me and your family. Saved me a few times back when I was flitting about the Rifts.¡±


    ¡°N¨C n¨C nar¨C Naran¨C gas m¨C make it better. Sh¨C sharper. M¨C more now.¡± I murmur to them. ¡°C¨C can sleep. W¨C will m¨C move to pr¨C pr¨C protect if d¨C danger.¡±


    Tretion nods, still worried but¡­ easy trust rippling through her soul, and Awnya nods before pulling us back into a snoozie pile of love and warmth and comforts.


    But¡­ At some point in the night, soon after whatever was lurking seems to swim away, my tendrils move to relax. Beginning what my Beloveds tell me is a cute swaying.


    Normally that would be fine but¡­ the fuzzy spirit seems to ripple in¡­ something as the Naranggas around it pull away. Not something big and horrible but¡­ something I recognize and don¡¯t like.


    And then it starts to shiver and shake and¡­ curl tighter in on itself.


    At that, still mostly asleep, I pull a tendril free from the mess and move it down to wind about her. Not¡­ Well at first I leave it a bit back as to not trap her but¡­ but then she scoots and nuzzles close! Even reaches out with fuzzy little bits to latch onto it. Not¡­ I could pull away. Easily. But as she touches it I feel such a thrumming calm overtake her. Settling what I didn¡¯t really notice was this constant bubble of all the things she showed me before into a soft relieved echo.


    Still there but¡­ muted at this little safety my tendril can offer her.


    So¡­ I do something I hope isn¡¯t stupid, and reach down with a couple more. Let them curl close and¡­ I don¡¯t know. Wribble in something else. Another offer?


    She trembles and turns eyes to stare into me. Not my eyes. I¡¯m not fully awake. And I can feel that the fuzzy spirit wants SO badly to take it. Is about to. I can tell but¡­ Then her eyes move to lock onto my Jellyfish and lovers and¡­ and with a huff of sadness and self-focused annoyance she pushes my offering back.


    Not a refusal but¡­ a request?


    Wait?


    Huh¡­ Well that seems stupid.


    So I offer it again. Let my eyes open to look at her.


    She hesitates again, bites lip and looks deep into my Sea-Bed of a soul.


    ¡°Protect each other?¡± I whisper softly, knowing the words won¡¯t wake up those about me. ¡°K¨C keep f¨C family s¨C safe?¡±


    [Please?] The fuzzy spirit seems to whisper.


    I nod, and let my tendrils curl closer to her. Then they¡­ I don¡¯t know. Shift a bit. Not to grow talons or thorns but¡­ the opposite? Maybe?


    But then her fuzzy spirit is snuggling close to my tendrils and drifting up along their core and¡­ and now she¡¯s nuzzling into the deeper parts of my Amwella. Kinda like how my Jellyfish used to be before I woke up here.


    That, oddly, relaxes me. I knew she didn¡¯t want to hurt me but¡­ this makes that even more clear.


    She¡¯s a part of me now. My Sea-bed is where she can hide from the scary things lurking in the Pitch.


    And together my family and I drift off into wonderful sleep for a while.


    ***


    Waking up is weird. Nuzzled close to soft and calm souls in ways I¡¯m not used to and I missed so much and¡­ and at first I don¡¯t even notice the odd addition to the pile! Like¡­ it¡¯s not a bad thing. I told this fuzzy spirit she could snuggle into the maybe parts of my Amwella, and I can tell now so much more about her that¡­


    Wait.


    No. Okay that¡¯s¡­ huh.


    Oke.


    This Spirit doesn¡¯t like me to call it a ¡®her¡¯. So I¡¯m going to stop thinking of you as a ''she'' and starting thinking of you as¡­ neither? Or both? Like Usete? Or not? Th¨C they? Or¡­ it?


    A surprised pause, then the Fuzzy Spirit is snuggling into my Amwella so much more than before. Almost¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits, it¡¯s radiating such sudden relief at that. Nuzzling all about and around and just¡­ basking in the deepest parts of the maybe places within my soul.


    Sort of like my Jellyfish did but¡­ they kinda gobbled up all my emotions and learned things from me. This Fuzzy Spirit already has its own mess of spilling out and around but¡­ not like¡­ hurting or changing anything. AND my Jellyfish aren¡¯t really in that part of my soul anymore so it can¡¯t really get to them.


    So I kinda let my maybe soul space hug it back and bubble with soft feelings of protection and safety and¡­ well all the good stuff, as Awnya likes to say.


    It likes that. And settles back into resting things. Still aware and¡­ watchful? Yeah. It¡¯s watching the Pitch really closely. Like¡­ like how a big cat can watch a ton of a forest¡¯s floor from the branches above.


    Still quiet though. Doesn¡¯t really seem to want to wibble thoughts into word shaped things.


    But¡­ that¡¯s oke. I assure it. Words are hard like¡­ most of the time. Just let me know if something starts bubbling up from the Shadows, oke?


    It purrs gentle agreements, nuzzling closer and deeper, then turning a lazy focus onto the Pitch.


    And I decide to return to the snoozie pile of lovers and Jellyfish for more good rest.

 Chapter 116: Hunting for Answers

    <u>CW:</u>


    NEW POV! Who could this beee!?! (It''s Undreka) ehehehe. Talk of abuse and fuzzy spirits and snuggles and woops murber!


    This place roils at my prowling through its passages. Growls and threatens and even considers rousing itself to try and expel me.


    But when I offer it a feast of unstolen Warmth, it settles. Not trusting one of my kind, but nor does it stop me from stalking its halls.


    Creatures like this have long learned to tolerate the presence of worse than my brood. And¡­ I¡¯ll no doubt impart a feast for it again, which will settle me in its memory for quite a while. If I depart through these halls I¡¯ll find them soft and simple to walk from.


    As opposed to the pulsing angry and senseless shapes it''s taken to becoming.


    Then I find my goal.


    A twisting between the shell-laden cracks and grooves. Leading into a pit that would otherwise dump anyone who falls into it down through more meaningless depts.


    I wonder¡­ Did the Matron who claimed this Rorliras ever discover how it worked? I¡¯d departed before our scheduled raiding into these tunnels through the Sapana. Never knew if Thendra found this passage.


    This Leviathan wouldn¡¯t stand her stench in this place for long, much lest¡­ lest¡­


    And the old memories and Oaths and Promises remain broken deep within me. Forcing a halt in my hunt while I stop and sit my form on the edge of the chasm.


    Bulderii told me less than nothing, and Thendra¡­


    She held none of the furious wroth she had back in those cursed woods. Only brimmed with glee. Even¡­ even thanked me for the girl my folly caused to stumble into her care. Offered me the chance to help her hunt one of the older Fae who roiled with the older songs.


    Helped me remember more than before.


    And then I left.


    Wandering the Sapana alone.


    I growl at that. At how much it still hurts to be away from my brood. From her. From the purpose she gave me. Everything without just bleeding such¡­ pointless things.


    I shed more of myself as I seethe. Letting soulfire bleed away into the Rorliras. Feeding this twisting place more of myself. Not because it needs or asks but¡­ If what Thendra told me about Lyra is true¡­ Where she is. What she¡¯s become¡­


    I¡¯ll need to move quietly. Unnoticed and simply¡­ half-warmed Amwella beneath its gaze. At least¡­ until I find her.


    Decide what to do from there.


    Still not enough though. With this much soulflame, even with my core shrouded and Naranggas tied I¡¯ll blaze like a torch in the abyss. So I shed more of my strength. And as years of drunken flame falls away my form becomes more¡­ solid. Less able to shift and twist into my most powerful shapes.


    In those last moments I¡­ I¡¯m not sure how much to change. But¡­ in the end it is better to go as I was the last time she saw me. Because It won¡¯t matter. The curse she wove in a misguided attempt to save me will tell her without a doubt who I am, and that¡¯s even if Thendra¡¯s words about her soul sensing abilities are untrue¡­


    I sit for a while as I feel this place sink will and fang into the soulflame I¡¯m leaving behind. Considering this hunt and the prey I would track and¡­ and¡­


    What?


    Resting arms on my knees I glare down into the chasm. Noticing the shifts that mark the twisting that will take me to the place this girl festers within.


    Why am I taking such obvious bait left for me?


    Naranggas twist and curl and flex sharp edges to hook and drag and tear and redrink and seal into a dark core shrouded in the shadow of my Naranggas.


    When did I see this girl as¡­ as anything but some foolish feast to consume? Did¡­ When I shouted for her to run was that a howl of true demand for her safety or¡­


    What?


    Can¡¯t help but feel something dredge itself up from the muck of the Sapana and force a ravenous grin across my face.


    How better to find out, then to grip her neck between my fangs, and take a drink of this Godling¡¯s blaze while her body breaks within my talons?


    And then I step forward, endure such a crushing sense of the Sapana''s Screaming, and then find myself¡­ striding through warm and well lit hallways.


    Bare feet across soft carpets, air drowning in fostered reflections of all the things flesh-woven spawn need. A place of safety and¡­ healing?


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    That, more than this Manor¡¯s curious grumbles at me, halts my forward steps. Makes me pause.


    Have to shake my head and let my shadowy core flex sharp death to remind me of¡­ of¡­


    Of what was stolen. Of what needs to happen. Of the wretched things that would only now¡­ as the Sapana just began to quiet, would dash it all to blaze once again.


    The snarl that escapes my lips cracks the walls and tears the light from the air. Leaving this entire passage in dead Pitch and Shadows.


    And the Manor forgets about the thing that now stalks these halls in search of its next feast.


    ***


    ¡°No name?¡± Awnya asks.


    I pause, turning the question inward. We¡¯re all sitting in a bit of a pile on the floor of the bedroom. Tasty breakfast between us as I try my best to shape the blurry memories from last night into word-shaped things.


    The Fuzzy Spirit seems to¡­ pointedly not want to answer our Fae¡¯s question.


    ¡°M¨C mebe?¡± I murmur. ¡°N¨C no answer.¡±


    Raska nods. ¡°Took my First like¡­ almost a year to share his. Give it time.¡±


    ¡°And you¡¯re sure it''s watching the shadows?¡± Tretion presses, tendrils curling around me both carefully but¡­ so happily. ¡°Keeping to this agreement?¡±


    I nod. ¡°Pr¨C romised. K¨C keep each other s¨C safe. F¨C family safe.¡±


    Raska smirks at that. ¡°You can feel it, can¡¯t you? Not like how you feel your own emotions, but¡­ this odd second blaze burning close.¡±


    I consider that and sway back and forth. ¡°Mebe?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s not an Everflame, Raska.¡± Tretion murmurs.


    ¡°Close enough?¡± Raska quirks an eyebrow and her soul blazes in twinned delight and excitement. ¡°Like¡­ Sure she doesn¡¯t have the spark of one. No secret language, but¡­ What I¡¯m saying is that she feels this Spirit, and it feels her. They can¡¯t really trick each other or lie well.¡± Then she looks at me. ¡°You don¡¯t just trust it because you''re being nice, you would know the second it means to burn against you.¡±


    I nod. ¡°Yes. It¡­ hmmm¡­¡±


    I turn inward again. Feel the question wibble about it.


    The Fuzzy Spirit bristles in so many different directions, then settles as I nuzzle it close and echo the things my Amwella sings with aloud. ¡°Family, now.¡±


    That makes everyone pause, save Raska who laughs as her twin eyes blaze in relief.


    ¡°I¡­ Like your Jellyfish?¡± Tretion asks carefully.


    I shake my head. ¡°No. Um¡­ D¨C different¡­¡±


    And trail off, words not shaping well to match this.


    ¡°But safe, right?¡± Awnya nods. ¡°It¡¯s gonna help protect you? Or¡­ just hide after warning you that something is bubbling up from the shadows?¡±


    I consider it, pull back to clarify our relationship.


    ¡°H¨C help.¡± I nod. ¡°M¨C mebe. N¨C not always. B¨C but if I a¨C ask or n¨C need, w¨C will.¡±


    That makes everyone relax so much. There are still worries but¡­ with how happily my Jellyfish still nuzzle I find the best words to settle the last bits of their worries over this soft and Fuzzy Spirit nestled deep within my Amwella. ¡°It c¨C can¡¯t g¨C get to J¨C je¨C jelly¨C fish un¨C less I m¨C move it.¡±


    That¡­ gets more questions to bubble up. But more curious, and I spend at least another few eternities trying to explain what the ¡®maybe¡¯ part of my Amwella is.


    ¡°Oh!¡± Awnya finally exclaims. ¡°Like where inspiration comes from?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ yes?¡± I murmur. ¡°M¨C mebe?¡±


    Tretion shakes her head and huffs as her tendrils wibble about. ¡°That would make even less sense.¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­¡± Raska nods. ¡°No that¡­ that tracks. Sort of.¡±


    ¡°Can any of you explain this in such a way that a Watcher like myself can comprehend?¡± Our Tretion asks but¡­ I can feel her smile in the question. ¡°My¡­ proficiencies lay within magics that require strict accordance to limits and hard edges, while¡­ all of yours seem to require some level of artistic interpretation.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ um¡­¡± Raska purses her pretty soot stained lips in thought.


    ¡°Probably think of it like how when you''re stumped on a problem where numbers don¡¯t seem to add up.¡± Our Fae offers. ¡°You get a good snuggle from me, or Lyra, night¡¯s rest and breakfast in a Grove and¡­¡± She snaps her fingers. ¡°The answer just slips into place like it was always there.¡±


    ¡°Or like how dry kindling can erupt at the slightest spark.¡± Raska adds.


    Tretion considers this, then nods. ¡°I¡­ suppose that helps. A little. It would worry me to hear it explained that way if you two weren¡¯t so calm about it. A previous near feral Spirit now nestled so deep into our Beloved¡¯s Amwella seems quite unsafe.¡±


    ¡°W¨C wouldn¡¯t h¨C have w¨C w¨C w¨C worked if we d¨C didn¡¯t p¨C promise.¡± I murmur. ¡°L¨C like J¨C jellyfish wh¨C when y¨C young. Wh¨C when j¨C just w¨C words. H¨C had t¨C to m¨C match. Un¨C undddd¨C er¨C stand. A¨C at least l¨C lit¨C little.¡±


    Awnya nods with a smirk. ¡°And now you have that same feral Spirit at your back. Call it family even.¡±


    I nod.


    ¡°I¡¯d love to have it talking though, get some answers.¡± Tretion hugs me tighter. ¡°I know we agreed not to press it too hard for that but¡­¡±


    The Fuzzy Spirit seems to curl more about itself. And¡­ shivers in¡­ guilt? So I cuddle it closer and radiate calm patience.


    ¡°W¨C ords are h¨C hard.¡± I whisper. ¡°It¡­ Like m¨C me. A bit. Won¡¯t r¨C rush. W¨C will be s¨C safe t¨C t¨C together.¡±


    ¡°Of course!¡± Awnya agrees immediately and with furious honesty that helps calm the Spirit. ¡°This changes so much. We can take our time and really puzzle this all out together now.¡±


    I hide my wince at¡­ at that.


    Tretion nods. ¡°True. If this new Spirit is truly an ally and wanting to keep you safe¡­ well, anything from the Pitch that might rise up will be hard-pressed to face you both. A trip to the Rifts can be delayed indefinitely, unless things change.¡±


    ¡°Oke.¡± I whisper, and the word lets the mess I feel inside spill out. Alerting the three of them to the pain that ripples within me. So much that even the Fuzzy Spirit seems to nibble at the edges of it, then snuggle close in¡­ something. Radiating warmth and comforts at least.


    Tretion holds me closer, and Awnya scoots to take up a talon and give it a good squeeze.


    I¡­ I¡¯m really not going to see her ever again. My Beloveds and this new Fuzzy member of my family just¡­ just helped me through this scary thing and¡­ and no one got hurt and¡­ and¡­


    ¡°Hey, Lyra¡­¡± Awnya murmurs softly, finger drifting up to brush away the first tear that¡¯s begun to fall. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s okay.¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°N¨C no. St¨C stupid. Sh¨C sh¨C should¡­ wh¨C why c¨C can¡¯t¡­ I h¨C hhh¨C hate h¨C her? W¨C want to. O¨C only. B¨C but¡­ c¨C can¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not stupid, love.¡± Tretion whispers, hugging me closer.


    ¡°Am.¡± I huff. ¡°Sh¨C should o¨C only h¨C hate. Sh¨C sh¨C she¡­ h¨C hurt m¨C me. D¨C d¨C doesn¡¯t l¨C love me. T¨C told m¨C me. B¨C but¡­ spl¨C spl¨C split. B¨C both L¨C love and H¨C hate.¡±


    A good pause passes as they all wait for me to say more. Amwella thrumming with such patience I just don¡¯t deserve.


    ¡°Naw, that¡¯s normal, actually.¡± Raska is the first to speak up.


    I expect everyone to be confused, but¡­ they all glow in agreement.


    ¡°Huh?¡± I look up after wiping away the muppiness from my eyes.


    Raska takes a deep breath, and sighs. Twin cores at the heart of her soul burning in quiet pain and worry. ¡°Sorry just¡­ yeah. I hate it. Hate how¡­ how I can¡¯t hate the people who hurt me. Not fully at least.¡±


    Another pause, and I whisper. ¡°C¨C can a¨C ask who?¡±


    The Everflame smiles so sadly, but nods. ¡°Yeah, of course. It¡­ Too many to count. The easiest for me to hate are the Fucks I didn¡¯t care for. People who never meant much and I burned from my life easily. But¡­ then there¡¯s my family. My kindred Sparks. Moms and sisters and brothers and¡­ and old allies. Souls who used me but¡­ also helped me. Probably loved me. Maybe still do. But¡­ treated me like Embers. Only showed kindness when I sparked true and gave them what they wanted.¡±


    ¡°S¨C sorry.¡± I whisper.


    Raska huffs out a laugh. ¡°Got nothing to apologize for, girl. But¡­ thanks.¡±


    The quiet that follows is patient, and seems to just¡­ naturally lead to our wonderful Watcher¡¯s next words.


    ¡°I¡­ for me it was my mothers and cousins.¡± Tretion whispers thoughtfully. ¡°The first two adored me, but thought that it was best to hurt me to try and make sure none others could. It didn¡¯t work. And¡­ when I lost my first two lovers. The very girls they gifted me as¡­ as slaves, but tried to treat as equals, I blamed them. Still do. The abuse only served to leave such deep wounds that only bleed hotter when I was left alone to keep this Manor for our Matron.¡±


    I turn to mush myself into Tretion. Feel her soul wriggle in¡­ in an almost effort to brush aside the pain but¡­ instead she returns the embrace so much harder than I expect. ¡°I¡­ I wish you could have met them. Nelops sometimes has brief moments of remembering the girl who¡¯s body she inherited but¡­ She¡¯s her own person. That¡­ that hurt even more to realize. Both for her and me. I know she forgives me and¡­ and knows it wasn¡¯t out of malice but¡­¡±


    I curl about her tighter still, murmur little nothings of love and care as she trails off. Holding back words and tears that she knows would drown her. Awnya joins in the hug soon after. And we sit for a while. And¡­ an odd thing sits between all this.


    A question. For me.


    Not urgent and not directed but¡­ I¡¯m the one who has to give this answer. Who¡­ who has to offer this.


    It¡¯s¡­ hard. So much anxiety bubbles up.


    What if I mess this up again? What if¡­ if I hurt her? Or¡­ or she hurts me or¡­ or I¡¯m stupid and am not reading her pretty and rippling Amwella well and she actually wants nothing to do with me?


    But¡­ also¡­ What if she still loves me?


    So I take a deep breath, wriggle free enough to turn and face Raska. Opening my mouth to try and force out words¡­


    Then the Manor is rumbling in¡­ confusion? Fear? And a mess of Home-shaped things I¡¯m not sure I get.


    But Tretion, Awnya and Raska¡¯s soul spark into motion. Each rising and two helping to pull me to my feet.


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ What!?!¡± Awnya is hissing.


    ¡°Something at the Outer gate?¡± Raska presses, the least sure.


    ¡°No.¡± Tretion is pulling free to press me into Our Fae¡¯s arms. Moving to the little chest she keeps to pull out¡­


    The Staff thing holding the hungry Spirit of Soul-Shredding.


    ¡°Something¡¯s inside this Manor.¡± Our Beloved growls. ¡°And it¡¯s already killed three people.¡±

 Chapter 117: A Wretch and Her Family

    CW:


    Attacking cuties and their Jellyfish. Rude. Undreka POV followed by Lyra POV THEN Undreka AGAIN! AHHH!!!


    ALSO. Change in format. No more double spacing due to being nicer to future self in editing and such and much. Still same lengh, juuuust not mibble space!


    ¡°How can the Manor like¡­ not know what did this?¡± The Everflame growls over the latest of my lures.


    The Watcher¡¯s Amwella and headstalks roil and twist in anger and weariness, kneeling to watch as the corpse is drug into this place¡¯s embrace. Wrapped tight and preserved by odd popping twisting Amwella.


    I¡­ am glad I have some measure of Thendra¡¯s wretch. Else I¡¯d have waited closer and alerted the Godling in their midst to my presence.


    ¡°It shouldn¡¯t.¡± The Fae murmurs. ¡°Can¡­ They were all traveling alone. Right?¡±


    The Watcher nods. ¡°Yes. And besides these three the Manor¡¯s counting is still precise.¡±


    ¡°Alright. You¡¯ve already sealed the passages, alerted the duenna, no one should travel alone.¡± The Everflame nods. Glancing up and down the hallways. ¡°What now?¡±


    The staff in the Watcher¡¯s hand growls as she steps closer to the Godling and¡­


    What are those? I narrow my focus and squint. Little¡­ extensions about her?


    No. Detached workings of Song?


    No. Sparks from the Dead Cinders?


    No. They burn with nothing but calm and almost¡­ childlike love for¡­


    My everything freezes at that.


    No. Those¡­ those can¡¯t be¡­


    Need to get closer.


    The Godling jerks. Eyes and Naranggas tilt toward the hall I move through.


    I slow, but do not stop.


    ¡°Lyra?¡± The Watcher whispers, gaze and stave tilting toward me.


    The Godling simply lets out a wary growl as her eyes narrow, dart about and around me. Unable to understand why her instincts alert her to danger.


    ¡°Yeah I feel it too.¡± The Fae hisses. ¡°Raska, Sparks up girl. We¡¯ve got something¡­ something coming close.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± The Everflame spits and releases her Flame to blaze about the floor between us. ¡°Like¡­ A Fae? Using a song to¨C¡±


    ¡°No.¡± The Godling whispers, and then is moving to gather up her¡­ her¡­


    And in a snarl of fury I¡¯m lunging at this wretch and her clutch.


    ***


    The thing hits me before even my Reaver instincts are fully screaming. Naranggas only blocking the strike because they take up so much space when flared out but¡­ also partially distracted by my efforts to gather up my Jellyfish close and¡­ and decide what to do.


    Push them away? Into the arms of my Beloveds Bound and their mothers or¡­ or¡­


    Better in danger with our family, then alone.


    Always.


    And I hesitated right as the strike lands. Pinned in place by the Promise Song and the Children I made it to.


    This thing is a mess of writhing nonsense. Beaks and talons and bladed tendrils and¡­ Naranggas?


    It¡¯s ALL Naranggas.


    No eyes no skin no heart no bones no hair no mouth just teeth and claws and everything wretched and painful and terrible and so very angry¡­


    At me, yes. But¡­ From the second the first of the mess touches the edges of my Amwella I know that this thing''s true anger is for the Jellyfish about and around my soul.


    Hungry to rip and Reave my Young from the Dream.


    And as the anger at that sparks up quicker than thought envelopes me, this thing is already shoved my Naranggas aside and reaching for the treasures nuzzled close and hissing and¨C


    An explosion of Black Lightning twists around and through and about my core. A yelping Spirit snapping out to bite and gnash at the limb reaching to hurt our children.


    When Awnya cried a bit about almost killing me with Tretion¡¯s stave I¡¯d made sure to tell them that no, in fact, this little cutie couldn¡¯t hurt me. It¡¯s¡­ too much like my Blighted Sea. That settled Awnya, but... worried Tretion.


    So¡­ I helped, with a bit of worry and insistence that everything I met in the Ocean between Rifts were super friendly and wonderful, to make sure this thing grew fangs that could hurt a Leviathan that swims there.


    And¡­ well¡­ I remember my Naranggas being so perfect within the Blight. And as the Lightning bites and tears and rips¡­ it does not consume this thing in a single gulp like it should. And this monster still has dozens and dozens of more things to reach with!


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    But then Song and Flame weave about and around and along my Sea-bed. Melody woven betwixt the Everflame¡¯s Spark. Imbuing with a mother and lover¡¯s fury.


    Can¡¯t help but growl in joy as I draw tendrils back from the reeling monster, swirl nearly half of them into a single limb that feels heavier than the Dream itself, and crack a strike into this monster that thinks to hurt MY FAMILY.


    I tear the thing nearly in half. The bladed hooked limbs of my endlessly large Naranggas slurping up this stupid thing¡¯s soulflame and warmth and tendrils. The Amwella eaten dribbles into the depths of my Sea-bed. Sprouting as more wigglie life. Soft places for my family to wibble and swim and be so very safe. Even the Fuzzy Fae is humming in approval to our victory from the maybe parts within my soul.


    The thing stumbles back. Surprised and wounded. Bleeding soulflame and dragging itself back into¡­ into¡­


    Huh?


    Well, that explains where this stupid thing was hiding. Didn¡¯t¡­ didn¡¯t realize this Manor had space between. Slivers where it keeps the maybe bubbles? But¡­ has trouble seeing there? Or¡­ maybe this monster¡­ Hm¡­ How did it get there?


    I reach after it. Stretching my new massive Naranggas to split and slither after the monster while keeping the core of my Amwella and body and Jellyfish firmly planted into the hallways still. Trying to hook what remains to crush and eat. Also¡­ maybe see if there are more scary things hiding here?


    There aren¡¯t from what I can see why distractedly chasing the thing. And Dreamer¡¯s Tits this monster is FAST. And quite a few times I almost have it¡­ and then it¡¯s farther away than ever before. But¡­ Also my Naranggas doesn¡¯t seem to ever be at full reach in this weird bubbly space.


    ¡°Beloved?¡± Tretion murmurs. But¡­ From the way her Amwella thrums in understanding and pride and fury I know she sees this now.


    Sees the place this thing was burrowing through, and murmurs sharp commands to the Manor to help it aid me.


    ¡°I don¡¯t see any exits.¡± She continues with softer words as she and Awnya step up to my Core¡¯s side. ¡°How did it even get in there?¡±


    ¡°And those were tendrils like you have. Like some Reaver¡¯s, have.¡± Raska hisses.


    I try to ignore that. Focus on the prey I¡¯ve cast myself to catch and eat.


    ¡°The Cunt betrayed us already?¡± Awnya growls.


    Tretion¡¯s soul wibbles in confliction, but then she shares her thoughts. ¡°It¡¯s possible, but Lyra adapted to gain many Naranggas. Others might have as well.¡±


    Almost have it. Now that the Manor understands what¡¯s happening through Tretion¡¯s instructions some of the Soulwaste is creating edges and walls and borders.


    The thing knows it¡¯s cornered, and twists itself back into the manor. Flaring out its own mess of still bleeding Naranggas as it pulls itself back into a tall shape.


    Dark skin, really tall¡­ A Reaver.


    One of hers.


    My heart and soul want to scream in pain at¡­ that Thendra would send one of hers after me. After my children!?!


    The Manor¡¯s already shifting to close four walls and bubbles about the Reaver. Quickly and deftly cornering her in every way it can. Even to the maybe parts of itself.


    I¡¯m about to take a step forward, but a hand and humming question from our Fae stops me. A silent request.


    So I pause and only glare.


    The Reaver¡¯s back is to us as bleeding Amwella pulls close to begin healing and shrouding itself while still keeping sharp tips and barbs flared in silent threat to the manor.


    ¡°We have questions.¡± Tretion demands. ¡°Give us answers, and we¡¯ll consider letting you live.¡±


    The Reaver chuckles and sags a bit, then glances back and¡­ and¡­


    An Old Curse flairs as my everything jerks back. Horrified. Breaking and Cracking and shivering with rage at the woman who just tried to kill my family.


    ***


    The Lamentation bites her deep as she realizes the truth. Her little Oath of Sympathy tears through her like¡­ like I didn¡¯t even consider it should.


    Is this wretch really so foolish as to still desire my safety and happiness? If I had known this, and was not so enraged by what truths lay deep within her God-Reaved soul¡­ I might have found the wisdom in using that.


    But¡­ It''s too late now. I lunged for a strike, and lost so much of my Wellspring in just the initial counter. Underestimated her and will most likely be returned to the Pit now.


    ¡°Un¨C Un¨C¡± The Wretch stammers. Syllables broken and voice shaking.


    I fully turn to regard her. Taking in the physical where before I only paid mind to the Writhing Godling soul and Clutch within.


    Fae form has aged. Which is odd. And half covered in¡­ burns? Barely healed. Literally held in place as if¡­


    ¡°Un¨C Drek¨C a?¡± She forces out after a pause to regain herself. Eyes wide.


    The Fae at her side pauses, confused. Then freezes as realization dawns. The Watcher glares while the Everflame glances back at them in confusion.


    ¡°Who?¡± The Flame-thief whispers.


    ¡°Wh¨C why?¡± The Wretch asks, eyes bubbling with moisture, even takes a step forward.


    I don¡¯t move. Don¡¯t flinch. Don¡¯t answer. Might be foolish enough to...


    And still, even at that the Lamentation gouges her soul.


    ¡°Lyra, hey.¡± The Fae cautions and grips her shoulder tighter. ¡°This¡­ hold up. Is this really her?¡±


    The Wretch barely seems to notice her question, but nods. Reaching a hand up to rub at the old curse at her collarbone as she refuses to do anything else but move eyes between my gaze and Amwella.


    Searching for answers I refuse to give.


    ¡°Who?¡± The Everflame repeats. ¡°Do we really care if this is one Reaver or another¨C¡±


    ¡°WHY!?!¡± The Godling Wretch screams. Her everything lashing out with that large Naranggas to swirl about my form and soul. Barbs twisting free and hovering close.


    I only keep eyes locked on hers. Expressionless in my focus.


    The Curse she wove upon herself burns and bites, and then she¡¯s shoving her clutch away and onto the Amwella of the Fae and Watcher. Oaths deep within their cores I didn¡¯t realize flare and cut off words or protest. Drawing the clutch to them like insects to a flame.


    Then she¡¯s approaching. Eyes burning such bright violet that reflect well off the tears that now drip down her cheeks. Naranggas rising up to bar the path of even the Everflame from joining her as she moves to stand before me.


    The others call out things, but between this place¡¯s protections and this Godling¡¯s Naranggas and Songs¡­ they know the only threat to this Wretch lays burning upon her flesh.


    Burning slowly at her Amwella as she struggles with affections she¡¯s somehow kept through time and pain and betrayal.


    ¡°A¨C ans¨C swer m¨C m¨C ME!¡± She growls.


    I consider remaining silent. As would be expected of one of the¡­ the¡­


    But I¡¯m not one of Thendra¡¯s¡­ not anymore.


    ¡°Promises Broken.¡± I allow myself to murmur.


    Even the floors and walls around us shift to try and urge her back. But¡­ this Wretch of a Godling¡¯s embrace of Naranggas about us and me is firm and solid and stubborn.


    She shakes her head, but keeps gaze locked on mine. ¡°N¨C no. St¨C st¨C st¨C upid.¡±


    I let an eyebrow tilt up at that.


    ¡°Y¨C you f¨C fr¨C free.¡± She stammers. ¡°Th¨C th¨C th¨C Thendra k¨C kept th¨C th¨C th¨C this Pr¨C pro pr¨C promise! D¨C did¡­ is¡­ Th¨C th¨C th¨C¡±


    I stare down as she falls into incoherently broken words. Tilt my head in curiosity.


    Decide to¡­ test this.


    ¡°I only remember Thendra demanding your songs, not your words.¡± I murmur. ¡°Why can¡¯t you speak plainly?¡±


    Outwardly she glares, inwardly¡­ she withers. Amwella twitching in obvious pain. And¡­ Still that curse burns hot.


    ¡°HEY!¡± The Fae snaps from behind the barrier. ¡°Lyra! C¡¯mon. This¡­ this isn¡¯t what we agreed to!¡±


    The Wretch flinches, but doesn¡¯t look back, only gazes away. ¡°I¡­ Sh¨C sh¨C she¡­¡±


    I let out such a growl and a sigh. But not at her. At¡­ at how she just becomes so plainly laid out to me at that.


    ¡°You¡¯re still hers.¡±


    The wretch curls as much of her soul close as she can without risk.


    ¡°Beloved.¡± Comes a gentle but insistent call from the Watcher.


    The wretch opens her mouth, closes it. Eventually murmurs, ¡°Wh¨C why. Wh¨C why c¨C come here? Att¨C ta¨C tack m¨C me? Ch¨C children? D¨C did¡­ Th¨C th¨C th¨C th¨C endr¨C ra s¨C send y¨C you?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°No.¡±


    She turns a glare back up to me, but her soul roils in both relief and anger at that. ¡°Th¨C then wh¨C wh¨C wh¨C WHY!?!¡±


    ¡°I had to see for myself.¡± I growl. ¡°Had to know for certain.¡±


    She snarls, Naranggas twitching in rekindled fury as the curse she bears screams. ¡°Kn¨C know what?¡±


    ¡°That you were carrying her children!¡± I spit.

 Chapter 118: When Spite is Safer Than Sympathy

    <u>CW: </u>


    Talk of slavery, abuse, murder of children, self-harm by isolation. Flippant and deliberate verbal abuse of a former slave. Burns itching while huggums the person who made them so. LYRA POV!


    I go still, can¡¯t tear my eyes away. To¡­ to¡­


    No that¡¯s¡­ that doesn¡¯t¡­ But it does. Doesn¡¯t it?


    The words. It¡­ it all started with the Dreamer Blighted words.


    Fear. Pain. Spite.


    Scrawled messily in that book. So odd and out of place. And¡­ and when I wove them into curses. Into what I thought of as Rot Maggots, they¡­ they ate people. Then disappeared. Never knew or cared where they swam off to. But¡­


    Then I found them in the sea. And they remembered me. Loved me. Then in her weird Stormy Rift. In those books. So happy to nuzzle close and let me carry them too.


    Those were her words. Her books. Her small and unborn children mixing with the ones we grew within me. Just¡­ just¡­ needing¡­


    ¡°Hey, Lyra. Girl!¡± A soft and loving voice is calling. ¡°It¡¯s okay. That¡­ that doesn¡¯t matter! Not one bit!¡±


    Awnya¡¯s words help. A little. But¡­ They wouldn¡¯t hate them for this. Don¡¯t even hate me like they should. Their soul''s sing nothing but love for our children.


    ¡°Beloved.¡± Our Watcher calls out in such a steady tone. Only partially tinted with fear and worry to match the terror in her soul. ¡°Come back to us. Please?¡±


    I did promise. Back¡­ back when she agreed to be their mother too.


    That I wouldn¡¯t run. Wouldn¡¯t go back to Thendra.


    Undreka though¡­ she laughs. But there''s no mirth to it. ¡°I assumed she¡¯d gnaw on your soul till it Rotted away. But no. She groomed and bred you. Let her whelps suck at your plentiful soul¡¯s tit.¡±


    I flinch, but any anger I had is bled from me at those words.


    ¡°LYRA!¡± Raska spits, snarling in a voice so raspy. ¡°Stop. Seriously. Back off. Let us burn this cunt!¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C why?¡± I whisper. ¡°D¨C d¨C d¨C¡±


    But the words get stuck. Hurt to think. But¡­ but I have to know.


    ¡°Tell me, little Fae.¡± Undreka¡¯s voice goes low. A cruel and purring teasing thing while her soul wibbles in... in such an odd way. ¡°Did she simply¡­ Ravage you until you learned to not to sing or talk? Or was your tongue cut free?¡±


    I flinch and jerk up to gaze into her horridly gray eyes. ¡°H¨C how¡­¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ It was the tongue.¡± She nods, letting a smirk touch her lips that doesn''t match the tear of pain I see cut across her Amwella ¡°She enjoyed doing that to the slaves she kept. Both for herself¡­ and us.¡±


    I¡­ I want to snarl. To bite and tear and reave and break and scream and howl and cry and¡­ and¡­


    But¡­ I never really stopped being her slave. Did I? Just¡­


    ¡°B¨C b¨C I¡­ Sh¨C she¡­ W¨C will¡­¡± I stammer.


    ¡°What¡¯s that? Little Slave?¡± Undreka kneels. Moving to eye level with me.


    ¡°D¨C does sh¨C she¡­¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Undreka presses, soul finally seeming to match her words.


    ¡°L¨C l¨C love¡­¡± I force out through trembling lips.


    ¡°Love you?¡± Undreka almost adopts an expression of pity while her soul tilts in worry. ¡°You know the answer to that, Wretch.¡±


    My family continues to call. Continues to shout and plead as I fight to gather up the words. But I ignore them, pull Naranggas closer still. Trying to¡­ to keep myself together. At least enough to ask this one question.


    Have to know.


    ¡°Y¨C yes.¡± I force out and nod. ¡°Kn¨C know. T¨C told m¨C me.¡±


    ¡°Then why ask?¡±


    I shake my head. Meet her gaze with a hard one of mine. Not even trying to hide my tears or pain.


    ¡°L¨C love Th¨C them?¡±


    Love her children?


    Undreka¡¯s expression sours, and she¡¯s growling. ¡°More than anything else in the Fae''s broken Dream.¡±


    Then I¡¯m hissing. Sea-bed of a soul writhing in such fury.


    But¡­ not at Undreka. I see why she¡¯s saying these things. What she really feels. Why she''s giving me nothing but mean words. This¡­ She would never hurt me. Not really. Not now. She tossed me away when I tried to show her that I wanted to love her. Begged for me to run. These words are¡­ well they¡¯re not to help me but¡­ she¡¯s not being cruel because she enjoys it. Just¡­ Maybe it¡¯s all she knows¡­


    My anger and pain is for the shard within my core.


    I take a deep breath, and a step back. Meet her gaze with a pained smile. Whispering. ¡°S¨C sorry. A¨C and¡­ Th¨C thanks.¡±


    That¡­ catches her off guard. Makes her soul¡¯s carefully restrained emotions slip even more. Showing me the tangled messy muck within. The fear and pain and despair and... and even the hope.


    ¡°Tr¨C trying t¨C to s¨C save m¨C me fr¨C from h¨C her.¡±


    She glares, Amwella bubbling with fury, begins to say something stupid.


    ¡°Stop.¡± I snap. And the sudden steady word and flexing of my Naranggas makes her flinch and go quiet.


    ¡°B¨C but th¨C they a¨C aren¡¯t h¨C her.¡± I explain. ¡°S¨C soft. K¨C kind. K¨C kept m¨C me a¨C a¨C alive. D¨C deserve b¨C better m¨C mothers th¨C than h¨C her.¡±


    She freezes, then snarls. ¡°Stupid Wretch of a Slave Godling!¡±


    I do get a bit annoyed at that, snap out a Naranggas to push Undreka. Make her stumble and growl in surprise.


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    ¡°St¨C stop.¡±


    ¡°Stop what?¡± She spits.


    ¡°L¨C lying. Pr¨C pre¨C t¨C tending.¡±


    She goes still, only half regaining her balance. And even my lover¡¯s calls quiet in surprise and curiosity all drowning in worry.


    I sigh. ¡°Tr¨C trying to m¨C make m¨C me h¨C hate you. K¨C kill. Y¨C you sss¨C see. Curse.¡±


    Undreka¡¯s eyes go a touch wide, but¡­ it''s a cracking in her soul that shows me the truth.


    ¡°Y¨C you¡­ Ar¨C aren¡¯t l¨C like o¨C other R¨C reavers.¡± I say, steady and trying to¡­ to be like my Beloveds. ¡°Y¨C you w¨C were trying t¨C to get a¨C away. Change. M¨C mebe. B¨C but¡­ Th¨C th¨C thendra c¨C can br¨C bring you back. C¨C can¡¯t sh¨C she? J¨C just¡­ w¨C without m¨C memories? I¨C if D¨C die?¡±


    Her eyes narrow. ¡°You¡¯ve seen the Pit then. She let you slaughter our brood many times over, but not for you.¡±


    ¡°Ye¨C yeah.¡± I nod, fight to not look away. ¡°B¨C but¡­ y¨C you w¨C were hi¨C hiding. In w¨C woods. R¨C running.¡±


    She flinches. Just a little. But¡­ her soul might as well be screaming her anger at the next words she feels bubbling up in me.


    ¡°Y¨C you w¨C were a sl¨C sl¨C¡±


    Slave.


    Undreka snarls, rises. ¡°Slaughtering you and her clutch will prove otherwise. When I bring your writhing corpse dripping with the soulflame of her young she will know I am free. And even if she kills me she will die a slow death from the curse you laid on her. All plans Rotted and Broken. Oaths Kept!¡±


    It¡¯s my turn to smirk. Her words are annoying but¡­ her soul is howling a melody I can feel deep in myself.


    ¡°Th¨C that w¨C won¡¯t fr¨C free y¨C you.¡±


    Undreka stiffens. ¡°What?¡±


    I sigh and try to gather up the words. ¡°Fr¨C freedom¡­ f¨C for us.¡± I point between her and myself. ¡°I¨C is h¨C hard. S¨C scary. D¨C death s¨C seems e¨C easier. Th¨C that¡¯s wh¨C why you¨C you¡¯re¨C¡±


    I hiss as the Lamentation bites. Hard. As I understand her better. Sympathize and try to feel and understand her pain.


    Undreka is stiff. Eyes widening as her soul writhes in pain. Both for herself, and the damage it''s causing.


    ¡°H¨C here. C¨C could g¨C go an¨Canywhere. B¨C but here. D¨C doing wh¨C what sh¨C sh¨C she wan¨C ts.¡±


    ¡°She wouldn¡¯t want her clutch dead.¡± She tries to hiss.


    I consider that. Feel my Jellyfish glow and thrum nuzzled to their mother¡¯s souls.


    ¡°N¨C no. B¨C but¡­ Y¨C you c¨C couldn¡¯t do it. Th¨C they¡¯re str¨C stronger now. A¨C ate F¨C Furth¨C Furthonois w¨C with me. M¨C might hurt. M¨C mebe k¨C kill me. B¨C but n¨C not them.¡±


    And despite her stoic expression¡­ Her soul wilts at that. And in turn the curse bites even harder as I wince and feel bad for the pain that understanding brings. Knowing that even in our struggles how... how we''re still... like... reacting in ways she taught us to.


    ¡°B¨C best th¨C thing t¨C to d¨C do i¨C is f¨C find h¨C h¨C happiness a¨C away.¡± I whisper words that terrify me so much. Things I¡­ I¡¯m not sure I can do. Especially not alone. But can¡¯t help but offer to her. Hope she''s smarter than me. ¡°H¨C hard. B¨C but. I tr¨C trying. A¨C a¨C and I¡¯m st¨C st¨C stupid. L¨C leave h¨C her b¨C behind. Un- Dr- dr- dreka.¡±


    This Reaver glares, but her soul begins to split in conflict within itself.


    ¡°Or¡­¡± I whisper. Voice way more steady than I feel. ¡°Y¨C you c¨C can try again. Th¨C this time will kill. A¨C and y¨C you c¨C can g¨C go b¨C back to her.¡±


    This Reaver¡¯s eyes go wide as the moon as her Amwella glows with such fear at that. Not death, but... waking up to Thendra again.


    ¡°Where would I even go?¡±


    ¡°Nowhere.¡± My Watcher growls, and¡­ from the way her soul wibbles I can tell she is so very mad at me but¡­ understands what I¡¯m doing. Agrees with, at least, where this has led us.


    The Reaver looks past me to her as I carefully lower a few tendrils. Not to let Undreka pass or get an easy lunge but¡­ enough to let them talk without my mess blocking their sight.


    ¡°You will be imprisoned here. Secluded from the other guests.¡± The Matron of this Manor states. ¡°Or you die. Now. With whatever that entails.¡±


    ¡°What sort of choice is that?¡± Undreka spits.


    ¡°One with a future.¡± She counters easily. ¡°Reavers can change. If you do, show that you can become safe, that is. You can become one of the many guests within these halls.¡±


    Undreka considers that. ¡°And of the three I killed?¡±


    Tretion glares. ¡°None of my guests have died without my permission in many years, Reaver Undreka. I am offering you a choice. And only because my Beloved wishes it. If not for her soft nature I would have gifted you only eternal entrapment. Made you suffer every torment I could imagine for trying to hurt my children.¡±


    Undreka jerks back, surprise and fury and other things rippling across her face and soul. But¡­ suddenly seems to really look about herself. Understand just how much this place loves my Brilliant Watcher. And what they¡¯ve been able to do together.


    This Reaver lowers herself to kneel on her big knees. Looking between us. Then¡­ she slowly nods. ¡°I accept your offer of imprisonment and seclusion. Will offer no violence toward you, your guests, or your children. Ever again.¡±


    Our Watcher murmurs a string of commands, and behind Undreka a door wibbles into focus. Clicks and creaks open.


    ¡°Through there you will find¡­ acceptable accommodations.¡± Tretion says as I slowly pull my Naranggas back to clear the path. ¡°Your previous methods of moving undetected within my Manor no longer work, and if you so much as scratch a wall I will have this place tear your soul to ever small pieces. Is this understood?¡±


    Undreka rises. Nods again. ¡°It is.¡±


    She hesitates, considers saying more but¡­ only turns and disappears into the doorway. Which clicks shut the second she passes in.


    And before a heartbeat passes I¡¯m gasping in relief and dropping to my knees. That Old Curse settling and my lovers and Raska are pushing past my relaxing Naranggas. Gathering me up in a messy embrace of hissing love and tittering fear and hugs of shaking everythings.


    ¡°S¨C sorry.¡± I whisper to them all.


    ¡°Stupid spitfire girl.¡± Raska is growling. Caught between the urge to¡­ to join in this messy hug pile and scream even louder.


    I flinch a bit at that. But¡­ Her soul''s boiling fear and relief settle it quickly.


    This is nothing like before. She''s scared for me. Not of me. It''s... really easy to see.


    ¡°Yeah¡­ sorry Lyra I gotta agree with Raska this one time.¡± Our wonderful Fae surprises me by actually being angry with me too. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits that was really stupid.¡±


    I¡¯m just¡­ everything hurts a bit. Body is sore from rushing flesh things and Amwella is still bleeding from the Curse¡¯s settled bite. All I can murmur is a soft. ¡°S¨C sorry.¡±


    ¡°Beloved.¡± Tretion murmurs, pulling my gaze to face hers. ¡°You Promised me.¡±


    I go stiff. ¡°B¨C but¡­¡±


    ¡°Promised THEM!¡± She is nearly shaking in rage. ¡°Our Children. In song even!!!¡±


    And I see them then. Our Jellyfish moving to snuggle me are¡­ are wailing and crying and¡­ and¡­ and so very worried.


    ¡°B¨C but¡­ N¨C not g- going b- back.¡± I whisper. ¡°Un¨C undr¨C dreka w¨C wasn¡¯t¡­ c¨C couldn¡¯t h¨C hurt me.¡±


    Our Watcher winces and wants so much to shout but¡­ settles. Eyes glance up to Awnya for softer explanations.


    ¡°Girl¡­ Those things she said¡­ even if she couldn¡¯t strike at you physically¡­ She¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits do you really not see how you broke that Promise Song? How that Reaver¡¯s words hurt you? How dangerous they were? And that¡¯s all without the curse''s sting!¡±


    I stop. Think about that for a few long moments. Nibble at the melody and swirl of notes and emotions and memories and¡­ and¡­


    Better in danger with our family, then alone.


    Always.


    ¡°Oh¡­¡± I whimper as I feel their words strike true.


    Undreka¡¯s words hurt me so much. Could have shattered me. Only didn¡¯t because of my ability to read her and the Curse burning hotter the more I understood her pain. And¡­ and I was alone to hurt because¡­ because¡­


    Hunting alone is just¡­ easier.


    I¡¯m sobbing then, wailing apologies in song and word and messy embraces. It helps them settle. Showing them that¡­ that while I¡¯m stupid and broken I¡­ I¡¯m willing to try and do better.


    For them and myself.


    My Beloveds sigh in relief, but only hug me tighter. Showing me in every way that¡­ that this just scared them. Almost more than the spirits from the mantle. Because they¡­ they couldn¡¯t stop me. I didn¡¯t think to ask them for help or¡­ or hesitate. Just¡­ threw myself into getting hurt again.


    And¡­ At some point Raska moves to stand. To leave. Core of her blazing soul thrumming in¡­ things. Guilt and worry and affections she doesn''t think she deserves to feel.


    Things I hate to see in her.


    So I¡¯m scrambling over to snatch up her wrist. Meet her gaze.


    Everyone freezes.


    ¡°S- sorry. A- and... Th¨C thank. You.¡± I murmur. ¡°Pl¨C pl¨C please st¨C stay?¡±


    Raska¡¯s everything wibbles in hope and flutters in messy affections and worry at that. But she nods. Rasps while resettling to sit. ¡°Alright. Y¨C yeah.¡±


    I bite my lower lip, hard. But also manage to ask, ¡°H¨C hug?¡±


    Her everything goes still at stone. But... wordlessly she nods, and lets me pull her into a careful embrace while I keep a mess of tendrils back around my Tretion and Awnya.


    Old memories flash. Of¡­ of her shouting and the fire and¡­ and that makes the burns itch a bit. I shiver and can¡¯t help but let out some odd little sound. It scares her. Immediately Raska is beginning to untangle herself. But¡­


    I hug her tighter. Fight to settle myself. Mush down the memories and focus on¡­ on other things.


    Like her smell.


    Dreamer¡¯s Tits she always smelled so neat. Like a fire at the end of its blaze, but mixed in with her special girlish musk. All sooty and warm and just¡­ makes me want to snuggle closer!


    She hesitates, then returns to the hug again. Wrapping me tighter than before. Still gentle, and spark eyes dancing up and over me to my Beloveds to make sure this is okay.


    But watching us seems to settle them, and it¡¯s a while before we move our little mess into a more comfortable place.

 Chapter 119: Cooling Cinders within an Everflames Soul

    <u>CW: </u>


    hmmm... snuggles? Talk of past abuse. Desire for self harm and talk of outlets. Sleeping in a pile of galpals and gerlthings!


    ¡°She¡¯s really proud of ya.¡± Raska murmurs.


    ¡°Muh?¡± I look up to her in confusion and a little worry.


    But the core of her soul is settled and calm. Thinking deep and wibbly thoughts as we sit quietly a little ways away from my Beloveds.


    Tretion wanted to give the people Undreka killed some new souls right away. The Manor kept their bodies and minds safe but¡­ They have lovers and family who are worried. So she asked if I¡¯d rather be away for this but¡­


    No. I¡¯d not gotten to give the Manor a good hug for too long!


    It¡­ was a little hard. Not because it didn¡¯t want a hug but because Tretion had it reorganize this room since I last came here. It¡¯s bigger. Nicer. With soft carpets and pretty walls and all sorts of books and desks and odd contraptions. And in the middle is a weird big bubble wrapped about the floating blobby heart. I tried to embrace the bubble, but both me and the manor didn¡¯t really like that. So Tretion had the bubble grow to envelope me. It¡­ was a little scary. Too much like before in the Containment thing but¡­ that¡¯s alright.


    The Manor gurbled so happily and even had weird wibbly tendrils to snuggle me close.


    And now Tretion guides the Manor through this, and I¡¯m giving Raska such a look of confusion.


    She smirks. ¡°We all were probably thinking the same thing. That¡­ You¡¯d either eat the bitch, or that she¡¯d tell you to leave with her. But¡­ then she started taunting and hurting you and¡­ fuck at least I thought you¡¯d fall to pieces and let her hurt you. But¡­ Then you were telling the big cunt off and making her fall to pieces. That¡­ Then helping her decide to go all peaceful like into being a prisoner.¡±


    I tilt my head a touch, and Raska giggles at that. ¡°Just¡­ Yeah, you should have waited and let Tretion handle it, but it all worked out in ways better than she could have hoped. And you spoke aloud a ton of things she was worried would take years to see you agree with. Much less speak to a Reaver.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­¡± I nod and glance away, embarrassed.


    ¡°Can I¡­ ask who she was? That Reaver?¡± Raska eventually murmurs. ¡°She¡¯s from before I met the cunt, but¡­ I always thought her brood was like¡­ permanent. A life oath.¡±


    I sigh and shrug. ¡°Think¡­ weird. Th¨C th¨C th¨C thendra can bring back. If th¨C th¨C they die. B¨C but no m¨C memories. Und¨C Undreka was f¨C first Reaver I m¨C met. In w¨C woods. Hurt. W¨C wounded. Th¨C then m¨C more and Th¨C th¨C Thendra came. H¨C hurt and c¨C cap¨C tured.¡± Then I pull down my shirt and point to the angry scar. ¡°C¨C cursed s¨C self and Th¨C Thendra t¨C to s¨C save. M¨C made deal.¡±


    Raska nods. ¡°I¡­ alright. Yeah. Awnya told me some of that. Name¡¯s sparkin'' in my memories now.¡±


    I sway and don¡¯t know what else to say.


    ¡°Sorry, by the way.¡± She eventually whispers. ¡°That¡­ Awnya mentioned you were warming to her. First girl to stumble into your Woods and¡­ yeah. To see her back, especially now, and attacking you and saying those things is¡­ that probably hurt a lot. I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°Thanks.¡± I look back to her with a small smile. ¡°F¨C for words and¡­ and helping. K¨C kept family s¨C safe.¡±


    ¡°Course.¡± She nods, opens her mouth to say more but¡­ goes still¡­


    I shake my head as I read the next feelings she¡¯d like to say and stop her. ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C what?¡±


    ¡°S¨C sorry. C¨C can¡­ C¨C can read people¡¯s s¨C souls.¡± I whisper. ¡°S¨C sorry. A¨C and¡­ no.¡±


    She winces. First at the first part, and in¡­ huh. She feels bad about that. But mostly for me. Not¡­ not angry? But there is frustration at my final words.


    ¡°I¡­ Ukalon¡¯s tits and teeth. That¡¯s¡­ a mess. Don¡¯t apologize. It makes sense.¡± She huffs. Spark between her horns dancing. ¡°But you¡¯re wrong. I do owe you. I hurt you. Betrayed your trust. Let you¡­ no. Chased you, back into that cunt¡¯s arms when we...¡± The words, each one, crackles in tune with these little pops from her Blaze. ¡°Would not have let you go!¡±


    I freeze at those words.


    And how they echo so¡­ so well what I wanted to scream at my Beloveds when they locked me in here.


    Let me go.


    ¡°N¨C no. I¡­ W¨C was R¨C r¨C r¨C¡± I stammer.


    She huffs and slumps back into her cushions when I feel Awnya give her a look. One that seems to convey both a soft urging to calm down, but also¡­ support. And little wibbles of smirking hi hallos to me because of course she knows I can feel her really clearly.


    ¡°I know. But you¡­ We¡¯d have at least been a safe place.¡± She whispers. ¡°I know things got bad. Even though I avoided her I¡­ she had a reputation. And you can do full Riftwalks. You¡­ you might have come back to us.¡±


    It hurts. To think about. What could have been.


    I curl tighter about myself. ¡°M¨C mebe. R¨C Raska I¡­ I d¨C didn¡¯t w¨C want¡­ w¨C want t¨C to¡­ I m¨C mean I¡­ I w¨C wanted h¨C her to h¨C hurt me.¡±


    Raska jolts to a halt, then moves to carefully sit close. Soul screaming in¡­ in such desire to hold me but¡­


    ¡°N¨C not y¨C yet.¡± I whisper.


    And she nods.


    ¡°I¡­ I get it.¡± She whispers. ¡°You know it¡¯s not your fault, but¡­ can¡¯t feel it. And even with Tretion back and alive and¡­ and ready to hold you again, you still blame yourself.¡±


    I nod.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ve not always kept my girls safe. Lost more than a few to¡­ to cunts like Thendra.¡± She murmurs. ¡°Both at random and¡­ and sometimes they¡¯d run off or get snatched. By the time I¡¯d find them, if I found them, it could be too late. Always blamed myself. Over and over running through how I should have been better. Faster. Scarier to the monsters that might think to hurt us. But¡­ Wren keeps me grounded. Helps remind me to be a bit nicer to myself.¡±


    I wince. ¡°Y¨C you h¨C help. I¡­ I hurt. B¨C both T¨C t¨C tre¨C tion and¡­ and others. Ate them. F¨C for Thendra. Th¨C then¡­ as¨C asked her to c¨C cut and¨C and sl¨C slice and¡­ and it h¨C helps. E¨C empty m¨C me. D¨C drown m¨C me. D¨C d¨C deserved.¡±


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    She shakes her head. ¡°Naw. Nope. C¡¯mon. We both know Thendra twisted you into thinking that. She¡¯s¡­ different, in ways, from others I¡¯ve met. But also the same. Just probably better at reading and manipulating people. And¡­ well¡­ sorry but it wouldn¡¯t be hard to convince a girl like you to blame yourself. See her cruelty as¡­ as deserved. Even though it wasn¡¯t. They¡¯ve both told me what happened. The Fae betrayed and pushed you to it, and Thendra¡¯s abuse was literally the reason you had those Waking Nightmares.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡±


    I mean¡­ they have. Told me this. Endlessly offering love and soft words and things It¡¯s hard to think I deserve. But¡­


    Shake my head. ¡°N¨C needed.¡±


    I expect her to push back but¡­ her soul wibbles in¡­ something. Curiosity? Or¡­ something else?


    ¡°I¡­ So I don¡¯t think letting that cunt hurt you was good or¡­ or anything but¡­¡± She considers me, pointedly doesn¡¯t glance over to my Beloveds as she murmurs. ¡°I get it. Sometimes the pain bubbling up inside needs an outlet and¡­ and sometimes you¡¯re not sure you can contain it and you¡¯re certain anything else is better than the guilt and pain and¡­ and shame. And pain has a way of cutting us to pieces.¡±


    Feel my eyes go wide. ¡°N¨C not¡­ K¨C kinda. Y¨C yeah. N¨C need t¨C to¡­ t¨C to get away f¨C from m¨C memories. E¨C else¡­ j¨C just stop.¡±


    She nods. ¡°I, literally, explode. Quirks of being Polysouled and an Everflame, I guess. When me, our Core, catches something fierce the rest just¡­ can¡¯t help but burn. Which lights me up hotter. Starts a nasty cycle.¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C what y¨C you¡­¡± But I pause, see her smirk as the answer is just¡­ so obvious. ¡°W¨C wren?¡±


    ¡°Yup. Just¡­ gives me the biggest hugs she can. Smothers my mess in her cool calm love.¡± Raska sighs with a smirk. "Gives me an outlet that doesn''t involve me hurting others... or myself."


    I can¡¯t help but smile back in pained love and... and such jealousy. ¡°L¨C like F¨C first day. W¨C with me. Sh¨C she¡­ C¨C cold soul. Like my Tr¨C Tretion. N¨C needed. Hurt t¨C to feel again. But¡­ I loved h¨C her for that.¡±


    She chuckles. ¡°Always wondered why you could never seem to get enough of her.¡±


    I blush and look away. ¡°A¨C also good. A¨C at¡­ um¡­ S¨C sex. Th¨C things.¡±


    She grins, ¡°Yeah. And¡­¡± Pauses, then adds softly. ¡°If you ever do want to see them. They¡¯d all like that. Ever since Sevy spotted you bounding through one of the Communities I¡¯ve been poked and prodded to try and tell you that. But¡­ Tretion wanted you to not feel pressured. And you shouldn¡¯t. At all. I¡­ we¡¯d all get it if you''d rather stay away.¡±


    ¡°D¨C don¡¯t h¨C hate me?¡± I whisper.


    She reaches out then, lets just our fingertips touch. ¡°Never. They¡­ they were just scared. Like me. But barely a second after you left they were all set to scream and shout and tell me off for¡­ for what I did. Worse when I¡­ um¡­ came back a mess. After you saved me and left.¡±


    ¡°S¨C sorry.¡± I murmur.


    Raska huffs and gives me a look of half annoyance, half pity and half¡­ something else that bubbles out from her into these other parts of her Amwella.


    ¡°You¡­ Lyra, you''re apologizing. To me. That they got upset that I hurt you? Yeah. Nope. Stop that. You can say your sorry if it helps but¡­ not here. Not now... Please?¡±


    I look away again, chew on my lip, trying to¡­ to clean off these mucky feelings inside. To separate the warmth from the cold icky fear dribbling off it every time I think about this¡­ this person.


    This wonderful girl who¡¯s so much more like me than almost anyone I¡¯ve ever met.


    ¡°But¡­ you¡¯re¡­ you look tired. And I¡¯m pushing you too hard on sensitive things.¡± She eventually whispers. ¡°I could step out and get some pillows and blankets if you¡¯d like to sleep properlike or¡­¡±


    I adjust my fingers to grip hers fully. Shake my head. ¡°N¨C no.¡±


    ¡°You sure?¡±


    ¡°No leave. Pl¨C please? If oke?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. I¡­ whatever you need girl.¡±


    Her offer bubbles something inside. Makes me¡­


    ¡°Um¡­ sl¨C sleep w¨C with h¨C head¡­ there?¡± I ask and point to her lap.


    She pauses, chuckles, then adjusts to cross her legs over for me. ¡°Sure. C¡¯mere.¡±


    And I do. Settling my shoulders and head on her solid and warm lap. And¡­ and let myself wibble past a few bad memories to hold the good close. Of¡­ of months spent in her bed. Smothering old pains in the sooty smell she seemed to leave everywhere she went. Feeling just¡­ understood. Even when I couldn¡¯t really share my past. Focus really hard on her Soul''s Core and how it thrums in such soft things for me.


    And, before I know it, I¡¯m passing into Oblivion.


    ***


    Lyra¡¯s always blazed in really obvious ways. Never really able to hide how she¡¯s feeling, or lie well, or¡­ or be anything except what she is. And one of my favorite ways that I discovered this was watching her gorgeous soul pass from being awake into sleep.


    When Lyra¡¯s awake, her Amwella is¡­ it''s kinda like a bundle of snakes. Those soul tails coiled and writhing and ready to snap out and strike. Not wanting a fight but always so ready and so scared.


    But when she¡¯s asleep¡­


    They relax. Untangle and just¡­ drift up and sway in such odd ways. Always as if a silent melody only she can hear has wrapped her up and given her something to listen to while she sleeps.


    I¡­ I never thought I¡¯d see that again. Not even after she did pass out when her Fae family came here. And especially not while she sleeps in my arms.


    And here. Now? To¡­ to have her breathing slow and quiet so quickly and¡­ and her new and perfect soul already  settling and swaying I¡­


    A hand touches my shoulder, and I have to fight hard not to jerk. Find Awnya kneeling close.


    ¡®You both okay?¡¯ She mouths.


    I pause, consider my core and form and¡­ oh.


    Well¡­ I mean¡­ yeah. Shoulders still shaking and Spark all a messy dribble. If I still had my old eyes I¡¯d have soaked and maybe woken Lyra with tears. But¡­ for now I only shiver under this good burn.


    Nod to Awnya. Force myself to still.


    Can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t wake Lyra up. Not¡­ Please. Not after she''s finally resting well near me.


    Awnya smiles, nods. ¡®Be right back.¡¯ Then she¡¯s striding over toward a door. Returns soon with a few more pillows and blankets. Lays them about us, winks, then heads back over to help her Tretion continue their work.


    By the time they''re done, and the three who Tretion has brought back have arisen and been led away to their loved ones, I¡¯m almost asleep myself.


    But¡­ well¡­ When those two come over to quietly kneel close, a couple of their little ones swim over from Lyra¡¯s Amwella to nuzzle with their souls. And a few of those tendrils follow to seemingly on instinct hold onto Awnya and Tretion¡¯s cores.


    And before I can realize what¡¯s happening, and panic, a little tendril bumps my core. Then¡­ just wraps close.


    It doesn¡¯t get burned.


    And that makes us all go stiff.


    I¡­ even before I¡­ no one. Not even other Everflames, can touch Spark bearing souls for long! Our blazes bite and tear and¡­ and hurt each other.


    Burn everything without.


    But Lyra¡¯s doesn¡¯t even get scorched!


    Peva¡¯s half asleep and only notices when I have to smother my panic, and the only other one who''s awake or cares seems just as surprised as me. There are a tense few moments, but¡­ then both Peva and the other Blaze within my Amwella relax. Not really worried about this.


    Wh¨C what? I nudge my First. Why¡­ what¡­ I¡¯m not¡­ Even Godlings fear touching an Everflame¡¯s Core! Peva!?! What is this? How is she not getting burned!?!


    He seems to consider that. Simmer a bit before letting thoughts form into words.


    [This Godling does not bear the Debts or broken Oaths of the others.] He nuzzles back into comfortable rest. [Our Spite would be wasted on her.]


    What does that even mean!?! I spit.


    He sighs, and just goes back to sleep.


    I¡¯m about to poke him harder for answers but¡­


    Another hand on my arm. Matron Tretion¡¯s. ¡®Are you alright?¡¯


    I nod, swallow. ¡®Yeah. Just¡­¡¯


    She watches my soul and the tendril about it. Considering¡­


    Her Fae lover laughs silently. Then nudges me. ¡®Carry her?¡¯


    Confused, I nod. Gather up Lyra¡¯s soft and light form very carefully. She doesn¡¯t wake though. If anything¡­ Three more tendrils wrap about my Amwella. Tight enough to make me gasp but¡­ doesn¡¯t hurt. Just¡­


    Never had anyone DO THIS! Hold close without literally burning away! To just¡­ be held so easily by my soul is¡­ it''s like the first time I let another touch this body after I forged it!


    But I keep steady. Nodding to their wordless questions, and follow them back to their chambers.


    Hesitate at the bed¡¯s edge. Looking between the tendrils about me and¡­ and Lyra¡¯s still sleeping form and¡­ what do I do? How do I get her off without waking her up and¡­ and¡­


    I look up to her lovers for answers.


    Awnya quirks an eyebrow, shrugs. Pats a spot on the bed.


    Tretion mouths ¡®We can wake her if needed. But... Would you rather sleep here? With no obligations. Of course.''


    I carefully nod to that, and steadily move up to settle Lyra onto the soft beddings. Move to like¡­ try and let them nuzzle close to her but¡­ Lyra unconsciously has wrapped more of her body about me now and¡­


    Tretion pats the pillow beneath me while Awnya moves to lay behind her. Draping an arm about and through her headstalks and over to gently hold Lyra¡¯s shoulder.


    So I carefully rest beside Lyra. Trying not to like¡­ overcrowd them but¡­ even more soul tendrils wrap about and envelope us. Not as tight as the first but¡­ blanketing. Encompassing us in this amazing girl¡¯s Blaze while her Jellyfish swim and flicker between them.


    Looking for the best places to settle down and rest with their mothers.


    And¡­ by the time I¡¯m calm enough to sleep too, Lyra¡¯s basically cocooned herself within my arms.

 Chapter 120: Answers to Wordless Questions

    <u>CW: </u>


    Raska POV followed by Awnya POV! AHHH!! Panic at waking up in arms of someone who assaulted you with fire. Feeling burn scars. Talk of a difficult birthing and hints at miscarriages. Realizations about a Big cunt and the children she impregnated someone without their consent or knowledge. Worry about abusive parenting.


    Hmmm¡­ normally the ocean brings in like¡­ a ton of salty flavors to taste on the air but¡­ nope. None.


    Just the sooty smell of cinders she always smells like.


    Tastes like.


    I feel the grin touch my lips as I pull this Everflame close.


    We must have gone back to Raska¡¯s home, left Wren and the others behind which means¡­


    I get her all to myself.


    Reach up, lips looking for her collarbone so I can nibble and see if she wants to¨C


    The motion drags my left side across the sheets, and in a flash of horrid memory and twisting Naranggas and overwhelming warmth I remember.


    N¨C no. No no no no no. She¡¯ll KILL ME if I COME BACK!!!


    Then, before I even think about it I''m trying to scream a Reaver¡¯s Riftwalk to¡­ to get away! Back to Theradas and my Dark Goddess but¡­ but nothing happens and someone''s shouting and¡­ and I¡¯m launching myself back and my Jellyfish and Fuzzy Fae are hissing and¡­ and¡­


    ¡°Hey. Girl I¡­¡± Comes her tired and surprised rasp. ¡°It¡¯s¡­¡±


    But¡­ but I¡­


    I¡¯m across the room, huddled against a bookshelf, Sea-bed, fuzzy spirit, and Jellyfish curled and nuzzling close. Radiating wordless songs of comfort and peace and worry as I press my everything against a wall.


    The Everflame¡¯s sliding off the big bed, moving slowly and with such a look of fear and anxiety and pain that¡­ that¡­


    Wait. We¡¯re in Tretion¡¯s room. Awnya¡¯s room. My room. Here in the manor?


    New memories wibble to match up with old. Stilling heart and panic. And¡­ and¡­


    She came to bed with us? When? I¡­ I don¡¯t remember going back to¡­ to¡­


    ¡°Tr¨C tr¨C¡± I try to whisper.


    ¡°Stepped out to get breakfast with Awnya.¡± She answers, then takes a step back. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I¡­ this was such a bad idea. I¡¯ll go if you want me t¨C¡±


    But before she can finish I¡¯m scrabbling to my feet and dashing to slam into her. Pulling her into such a hug that sets her tumbling down onto her butt. Leaving me clinging to her chest to just¡­


    Weep.


    Trying to weave in my¡­ my apologies and thanks and¡­ and love.


    How much I missed her.


    How sorry I am for ruining what we had before and what she was giving me now and¡­ and begging for her to not chase me away again.


    ¡°Hey. No it¡¯s¡­¡± Raska envelopes me as my Naranggas carefully weave to cuddle her warm soul. ¡°You¡¯re fine. You¡¯re okay. Should have expected something like that. Fuck. I''m so sorry!¡±


    Wait. How is my soul holding hers without getting burned? Is¡­ is that okay? Did¡­ are¡­ is she¡­


    I try to muddle out words of worry. Questions tittering out carefully.


    She chuckles. ¡°Yeah. Caught me off guard last night. Never had anyone that could touch my Blaze and not get burned. It¡¯s¡­¡±


    Let myself just¡­ whimper another question without words.


    ¡°Course.¡± She squeezes me, seeming to at least understand the shape of my mess, and her soul thrums in harmonic enjoyment. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ honestly it''s one of the only things all of us can agree on. You give wonderful soul hugs. Thank you.¡±


    I nuzzle her tighter, enjoy feeling all of her or¡­ or them? Yeah. All of this Everflame blaze their enjoyment.


    ¡°But¡­ are you okay?¡± She finally whispers as her own worry bubbles up. ¡°You¡­ Lyra, you were so scared I¡­ I can¡­ Tretion and Awnya should be back any second but¡­ but we can go find them or¡­¡±


    I cling tighter, finally able to whisper out a forced word. ¡°N¨C n¨C n¨C no.¡±


    ¡°You sure?¡±


    I murmur softly and nuzzle deeper into her. ¡°Th¨C they oke. T¨C tr¨C trust. Y¨C you. M¨C manor w¨C would k¨C keep you s¨C safe.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± She huffs and I can¡¯t help but giggle at her surprise at my words.


    That helps. Feeling like the scary one between us. Like¡­ sure if she got mad I¡¯d probably let her hurt me but¡­ honestly, she should be worried about me accidentally hurting her!


    Especially now.


    Worse¡­ worse she can do is burn more stupid flesh.


    We sit like that for what feels like an eternity, and¡­ eventually I let her pull us back toward the bed. Once we¡¯re crawled and huddled back like before Raska clarifies. ¡°Not¡­ not for anything but¡­ like¡­ skinship.¡±


    Can¡¯t help but worry over that. Is¡­ I mean¡­ she doesn¡¯t like Fae so of course the idea of sex isn¡¯t something she wants. Just¡­ um¡­


    But she tilts her head and smirks as she sees my worry bubble. ¡°Not¡­ Lyra you¡­ it¡¯s not anything to do with you not being gorgeous and amazing.¡± Raska pauses and takes a deep breath, then lets it out in a huff. ¡°Okay well it kinda does but not because I don¡¯t want that. I just¡­ I¡¯m trying to be better. Because¡­ finding people like me always set my head to spinning and that might have made my girls feel like they owed me things. Which I never meant to do, and I always tried to ask but¡­ It worries me.¡±


    This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    ¡°Huh?¡± I reply, confused.


    ¡°I just¡­ want to make sure. Especially with you. Don¡¯t want you to feel like¡­¡± She trails off.


    ¡°N¨C n¨C never did.¡± I whisper, looking up to gently touch her cheek. ¡°A¨C al¨C all¨C ways¨C asked. Sw¨C sweet. I n¨C needed. W¨C w¨C wanted.¡±


    She calms a bit. ¡°That¡­ You sure? Never?¡±


    I shake my head with a little giggle at the memories, then nuzzle closer. ¡°N¨C never. Alllw¨C w¨C ways a¨C amazing. W- warm and s- s- soft.¡±


    She huffs out a chuckle and pulls me tighter. ¡°Same. You¡­ The others couldn¡¯t ever really stand even a spark of my Amwella touchin¡¯ theirs. Only Wren can a but¡­ she¡¯s special. And it''s not the same.¡±


    ¡°Mhm.¡± I murmur back. ¡°All of y¨C you m¨C much sp¨C sp¨C spec¨C cial.¡±


    She wiggles back a bit to fix me with a look, soul wibbling about within my Sea-Bed¡¯s embrace with such a clear thought.


    So are you.


    I huff and feel my cheeks heat up as I look away. ¡°N¨C not.¡±


    ¡°Do I really need to list out all the ways you''re amazing, girl?¡±


    I nuzzle back into her, hiding face and shaking my head. Too much of this Everflame pulsing in agreement and furious dedication to those words.


    ¡°Because I will.¡± She cackles.


    I growl messy warnings into her chest and squeeze tighter with a few of my tendrils, and she only laughs more before settling. Letting us fall into a quiet comfortable silence. Eventually I fall asleep again. More easily remembering where I am and why I¡¯m safe and¡­ and how from what I¡¯m feeling from Raska is just¡­


    Careful Love.


    For the mess that is me.


    **    **    **


    ¡°This changes everything.¡± My Beloved very nearly growls.


    I wince and nudge her. ¡°Was wondering when you¡¯d want to talk about that. You¡­ I assume this doesn¡¯t like¡­ Change how you feel about them?¡±


    ¡°No, of course not.¡± Tretion almost snaps. Honestly seeming a bit annoyed that I''d even need to ask.


    I reach out to take her hand, lean over to rest my head on her shoulder and give those writhing tendrils something to squeeze at. ¡°Didn¡¯t think so, buuuut¡­ it¡¯s okay to be dealing with a mangled mess of emotions over it. Wanted to let you work through it.¡±


    Lyra¡¯s resting happily in Raska¡¯s arms again while we¡¯ve decided to settle in a back hallway with the soft breakfast we stepped out to fetch, and despite the little scare the Manor assured us no one was hurt when Lyra woke up and panicked. That¡­ that our girl practically rushed back into that Everflame¡¯s embrace and cuddled her tighter than ever before.


    Safe, and¡­ and healing with another girl she loves so much. Finally. I was worried when Tretion had to lift the oaths that we were pushing it faster than she was ready for but¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits, was it nice to watch Lyra¡¯s fear and pain begin to give way to fierce love and longing. We''d still like to see her vent the anger she deserves to feel... but maybe she doesn''t need to direct that at Raska. At least not yet?


    ¡°I feel a fool, a complete dullard for not seeing that.¡± My Watcher continues. ¡°It all just¡­ was right there. For me to puzzle out. And I was too distracted by our Beloved¡¯s scars and healing and wonderfully soft children to see it. Didn¡¯t ask enough questions or take her words with the weight they deserved when she spoke of them.¡±


    And... then there is this. We''d avoided talking about it till just now. Sitting with the untouched meal.


    How those Jellyfish are, somehow, Thendra''s children.


    A nervous sigh escapes me. ¡°I eh¡­ am still bouncing between disbelief and fear myself, and Lyra''s magic¡¯s always been oddly tuned. If either of us should have puzzled this mess out before, it was me.¡±


    Fae words of such¡­ wretched nature, giving birth to a ravenously soft and kind little bundle of soul children. But... also tied to that horrid big cunt of a Reaver?


    ¡°But what does this change, exactly?¡± I murmur after quite a few moments of silence.


    ¡°Lyra never spoke to us of Thendra discussing them. Never once herself thought of them beyond just¡­ manifestations of her Lamentations given form. And that was intentional!¡± She does growl then. ¡°Thendra knew that within our Beloved they would be hidden and safe and¡­ incubating. Feasting on the souls she pushed Lyra into consuming. And she made certain Lyra never thought them connected to a Reaver.¡±


    A cold realization touches my thoughts. ¡°Then¡­ Oh. They fed on Furthonois with her.¡±


    Tretion nods. ¡°From what Lyra tells us¡­ they probably absorbed more of the soulfire after she cursed that Godthing then even she did.¡±


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­¡± I huff.


    ¡°Lyra still seems to have absorbed most of their power but¡­¡± She considers. ¡°They¡¯ve gone from¡­ inspired manifestations linked and perceived by curses of blood and gaze and soul to having forms woven of Amwella.¡±


    ¡°Growing up.¡± I whisper then pause before murmuring something terrifying. ¡°Or¡­ no. No they¡¯re growing but¡­ but Tretion they¡­ they¡¯re not¡­¡± I¡¯m jerking free to stare back at her grim expression. ¡°What if they¡¯re not even like¡­ born yet?¡±


    She nods, already realizing this.


    ¡°Tretion. Fae don¡¯t¡­ we don¡¯t HAVE children like that! Can¡¯t. Not like none try or we stop people but¡­ but because we literally can never make it work. And believe you me, some have tried.¡±


    And often sang themselves from the Dream after the heartbreaking failures.


    ¡°And that¡¯s for a physical birth where the child will not spark Amwella until they are older.¡± My beloved nods worriedly. ¡°These little ones will need flesh to wrap themselves in. Help tuning woven forms to the Radiance of the Dream.¡±


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits and Bloody Cunt!¡± I hiss. ¡°How? How did Thendra plan all this out!?! This¡­ if that¡¯s what¡¯s going to happen this is literally the perfect spot for it. And what even is Thendra? She''s not Fae. Like... at all, but how would Fae words... like...¡±


    ¡°I''ve been worrying over that. Eve since we spoke about Fae Song''s symmetry with Wretched Incantations. And I shiver to think about what kind of being could weave their inception. And... There are two possibilities.¡± She whispers. ¡°Either Thendra has somehow already infiltrated these halls like Undreka did, or¡­ or¡­ more likely, knew I was alive and would research this. Knew of the Manor¡¯s nature and seized the opportunities as they arose.¡±


    ¡°Ovellen¡¯s journal.¡± I whisper. ¡°Before we even knew Lyra was alive she had that book. Gave it up only when I said I''d found Lyra and would let her know what happened.¡±


    ¡°I always thought that her letting you chase down Lyra was¡­ a spiteful mistake. Hoping the backlash from Lyra¡¯s soul would kill you before she ascended. One more heartbreak before awakening. A second lover accidentally slain.¡± She winces, a few tears bubbling. ¡°But¡­ No. She wanted her here. It¡­ back when I first met Lyra she wanted her to curse the Heart of this place. Take control of our Manor.¡±


    My eyes must be wide as the moon as I stare. ¡°This place is gentle to souls. Stops them from Rotting like they might in the Dream. Is literally the safest place for them to¡­ to grow.¡±


    ¡°Exactly. I¡¯m not sure how well our children might do in the wider Rifts without a well-made body to house them or a soul to snuggle close to. Or¡­ well I¡¯ll of course aid them in adapting their flesh if they ever need to leave.¡±


    ¡°Tretion we¡­ We gotta keep them away from her.¡± I hiss. ¡°From Thendra.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± She nods. ¡°Raising them well within our Manor. Gifting them and their mother safety and comfort and eventually, if it comes to pass, bodies as endlessly theirs as we can make them.¡±


    ¡°Thendra¡¯s not gonna just¡­ leave it at that.¡± I dig nails into the carpets. ¡°I don¡¯t care what she¡¯s promised. Eventually she¡¯s going to come for them and Lyra both.¡±


    My Watcher rises. ¡°Which¡­ leads us to a wonderful opportunity today has gifted us. I¡¯d like to begin questioning that Reaver, Undreka.¡±


    I stand too but¡­ hesitate. ¡°Alright. Let¡¯s get our Beloved and take a poke at getting some¡­¡±


    But she¡¯s shaking her head. ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­ why not?¡±


    ¡°Awnya¡­ I love our Lyra dearly, and am going to give her everything in the Dream and beyond but¡­¡± She looks up to meet my gaze, searching. ¡°You see it too, don¡¯t you? There are events she either can¡¯t or won¡¯t share with us. Horrific things I only glanced at the shape of through her Waking Nightmares, and¡­ and that was in the year before the worst occurred.¡±


    I nod carefully. ¡°You think this Reaver might share things Lyra hasn¡¯t, and would rather not need to worry about her getting hurt again. Or worry about that first Curse hurting her more.¡±


    ¡°Am I¡­ is this a mistake?¡± She whispers. ¡°I trust her with my everything, but also need to know I¡¯m acting well as a Beloved Bound and chosen mother to our children. Able to handle certain burdens in Lyra''s stead. Things she doesn¡¯t need to face when I can do it for her.¡±


    ¡°Beloved.¡± I step up to hold her close, able to match her quiet spoken worries and the anxious panic with my own soft song. ¡°You¡¯re thinkin¡¯ of the right melody. Yeah.¡± Then I purse my lips in thought. ¡°But¡­ I think we should ask her. Let her know all of what we just said, and give her the chance to choose between trying to share or letting us crack some of this from that Reaver. Trust her to learn how to take better care of herself when dealing with her past, or ask for help or breaks when its too much.¡±


    Her cute head tendrils do a little worried dance, but soon relax and lean back over into me. Gripping at shoulder and arm and hair tightly while pressing forehead to mine. ¡°Thank you. That¡¯s¡­ that''s a better idea than what I had.¡±


    ¡°Naw, just added the little notes you would have done, given a quiet moment.¡± I grin back at our wonderful Watcher.

 Chapter 121: Not broken. Perfect! Always always always ALWAYS!!!

    <u>CW:</u>


    Talk of childhood murder, talk of abuse and abusers, mention of past sexual assault


    This time, the panic stays inside when I wake up in Raska¡¯s arms. Barely tints my Sea-bed of a soul with fear. It¡¯s enough to like¡­ stir up all my Jellyfish but they were wibbling about anyway. A few even curiously following the tendrils wrapped about this Everflame¡¯s soul to see what this new blazing person is about. Careful and keeping their distance though.


    ¡°Heya.¡± Raska murmurs gently as I wriggle to look about.


    ¡°Mmmm¡­¡± I murmur and move to sit up, notice that my Beloveds have returned and sit talking quietly. Even called over a few of our more active children to dance and nuzzle their souls.


    Awnya looks at us with a smirk first. ¡°Morning, Beloved. Rest okay?¡±


    I feel the heat touch my cheeks as I nod. ¡°Mhm. Good. W¨C warm.¡±


    ¡°We brought food, if you¡¯d like some.¡± Tretion motions to a tray on the desk.


    I have a few nibbles, but soon am lured into a bath with my Beloveds while Raska agrees to step out and check on her home and lovers.


    Takes a bit to scrub and sing all the guck off me. To¡­ to smell a bit better after all the stuff that¡¯s happened. And it¡¯s only halfway through that I notice that my burns aren¡¯t itching as much as they should. They¡¯re still ugly and gross but¡­ well¡­


    ¡°Beloved?¡± Tretion murmurs.


    I huff, look up to her. ¡°Huh?¡±


    We¡¯re using the big warm bath today, all of us wanting to take our time and soak a bit. Relax after¡­ after all the messy nonsense. Take it slow. And while they enjoy sitting on the little shelf on the edges I prefer the full deepness that I can kneel down and submerge my face into while still keeping a firm grip on my lover¡¯s Amwella when I do it all.


    And... I see that the questions and words they''d been saving for a quiet and safe moment have finally bubbled up.


    ¡°We wanted to talk to you. About what Undreka said. Get your thoughts and¡­ and let you share what you will before needing to question her.¡± Our Watcher clarifies. ¡°Is that alright?¡±


    I nod. Carefully draw closer on myself, the little wigglie children nuzzled within my Amwella while the Fuzzy Spirit rests watchfully within the mebe parts.


    ¡°This changes some things, but not how we feel about them. How much we love them and you.¡± She begins. ¡°I¡¯m so very glad Awnya knew to say that, right as the revelation struck, actually.¡±


    Our Fae nods, then leans a head over to rest on Tretion¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Honestly that¡¯s where my everything got stuck for a bit, while yours was already swooping and flying ahead to this.¡±


    I nibble on my lower lips, murmuring softly. ¡°Sorry.¡±


    ¡°Lyra...¡± Awnya smirks and slides forward to join me in the middle of the bath. Reaches out to touch my fingers. "There''s nothing to apologize for here. Even if you knew and didn''t feel safe telling us."


    ¡°D¨C didn¡¯t¡­ um¡­ kn¨C know. Sh¨C should have.¡± I whisper, gripping at her hand.


    ¡°We¡¯ve spoken a bit and¡­ while I chide myself for not seeing the links,¡± Tretion smiles and move to join us, taking up my free hand. ¡°You were not in a space that such revelations were offered freely, in fact¡­ we think they were hidden.¡±


    I wince, but accept her hand and inevitable head noodle''s snuggles. ¡°Mebe.¡±


    ¡°Did she ever speak of them?¡± Our Watcher asks gently. ¡°Instruct you on their care or¡­ or push you into certain acts?¡±


    I think back, try to¡­ to remember all the things.


    The book, the words, the curses, the¡­ the first time I saw one of them gobble up that Watcher¡¯s soul, Tretion reminds me that her name was Zitra, in Thendra¡¯s manor after we killed her grandmother. How they were just curses. I feel horrible when I tell them how I called our wonderful Jellyfish Rot Maggots. That¡­ that was wrong and stupid and¡­ and would be like how¡­


    How my parents called me boy, how they killed me in the woods instead of seeing the real me¡­


    It¡¯s¡­ nothing like when Thendra told me and dredged up the memory somehow. All I had there was anger and biting and¡­ and wanting to wail my worst songs and tear the Dream all around me to Rot and Ruin.


    But¡­ Here?


    I¡¯m shaking and hissing and can¡¯t breathe and blurry eyes and¡­ and I can¡¯t breathe can¡¯t breath can¡¯t¡­


    But, Awnya¡¯s there. Crying and humming a melody that helps me gulp down a breath. Not trying to smother my sadness or pain but¡­ holding me up as it all tries and kinda succeeding in melting me as I whimper out a, ¡°Why!?!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Beloved.¡± Tretion murmurs softly as she embraces us all. ¡°I¡¯m so very sorry.¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C why?¡± I whimper again. Letting them hold me close and tug me to edge of the bath.


    ¡°I¡­ Don¡¯t know, Beloved.¡± Awnya whispers, her own eyes and voice a mess. ¡°I dunno why someone would be so upset at their kid just¡­ wanting to be comfortable in their own body.¡±


    But I know the answer, remember more of their shouted words. And it makes my Sea-bed curl in on itself. Smaller than It¡¯s been since I woke up here and¡­ and even my Jellyfish struggle to nuzzle closer.


    Broken.


    But¡­ No that¡¯s¡­ no.


    ¡°N¨C not broken.¡± I growl at the thought and fight to¡­ to¡­ to feel that!


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    ¡°No. Not at all!¡± Awnya agrees with a worried but proud smile. While Tretion nods and hugs me closer with her tendrils. ¡°Of course not. Our Beloved is so very special and amazing. Hurt. But¡­ Perfect. Just healing.¡±


    Deep breath, and I fight to uncurl my soul, wrap theirs in mine once again and hug our Jellyfish close. Making sure to¡­ to share with them that.


    Not broken. Perfect. Always always always ALWAYS!!!


    And they coo and wriggle and nuzzle so happily at that.


    It¡­ takes a while. Even just snuggled close in this big warm bath filled to bubbling over with my Beloveds and our Jellyfish for me to start up again.


    Training with Bulderii. Learning to be a Reaver. And¡­ and Begging Thendra to let me go help Usete and¡­ and Awnya¡¯s dad. Curse the heart of this Manor. Probably it¡¯s keeper too. Get that weird ring. And¡­ and earn my freedom and the little cursed mark from Furthonois.


    ¡°A ring?¡± Awnya murmurs, ¡°Huh¡­¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C what?¡± I ask as her soul wibbles in memory.


    ¡°Just¡­ just before your year here. Away, but after the Fae wood. I found her on that stormy Rift. With that ring, and her Reaver¡¯s coming back from that weird pool. That¡¯s when they got head tendrils with eyeballs and the Amwella smothering gaze they come with.¡±


    Tretion''s nodding. ¡°I¡­ found records on that. Later, of course. The ring was jeweled with one of my family¡¯s Brewing Stones. Things they¡¯d use to weave Watcher traits into their children.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± I gurble back in confusion.


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ not too important. I don¡¯t think. Not right this second.¡± Awnya murmurs. ¡°Just¡­ good to know. She used it to give her Reavers Watcher tendrils and eyes.¡±


    ¡°Um¡­¡± I sway. ¡°Cursed her R¨C Reavers. And¡­ and ate th¨C their souls. A lot. When¡­ when they¡¯d try to¡­ to¡­ h¨C hurt me. L¨C like Tw¨C Twital d¨C did.¡±


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­¡± Awnya leans harder into me. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. That¡­¡±


    ¡°Never let them.¡± I growl, Sea-bed beginning to twist into cruel and sharper shapes as I remember¡­ remember that night. ¡°Never Again.¡±


    ¡°Good.¡± Tretion growls and wraps about us.


    Then¡­ well not much. Eating and eating and¡­ well other things. Nothing¡­ um¡­ Till Awnya and¡­ and Furthonois and¡­ this. Them.


    ¡°Thank you, Beloved.¡± Tretion murmurs after I¡¯ve gone quiet for a bit. ¡°I also wanted to ask something. A¡­ Well, an odd thing Awnya mentioned.¡±


    ¡°Oke?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re¡­ a touch worried about our children¡¯s growth. Where it might lead. How¡­ how they might one day want or need physical forms.¡±


    I¡­ Wh- what? Bodies? Not¡­ not just little Jellyfish?


    ¡°Kinda like how little creatures learn songs and such, then start to weave something more to become Fae.¡± Awnya clarifies. ¡°We¡¯re willing to like¡­ do whatever is needed. You can weave either the bubbles or Blight into flesh or scale or¡­ or honestly maybe teach them since they seem to enjoy the stuff as much as you.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ B¨C but¡­¡± I sputter and snuggle my clutch close. Picturing them as not just my little soul nuzzlers but¡­ but walking talking feeling people! Not forever like this.


    Changing.


    Growing.


    Becoming who they Dream to be.


    Awnya giggles. ¡°I¡­ actually remember the look on my dad¡¯s face when I first shifted. At the time and later it was just silly but¡­¡±


    In a hiccup of fear and confusion and memory¡­ her words pop something. A bubble of a thing I¡¯d forgotten.


    The look on my mother''s face when I first wove a magic song. Small and softy hummed by a brookside. Didn¡¯t even mean to, and it had no words but¡­ when I looked up she¡¯d gone so quiet. Like she¡¯d never done.


    Scared me into stopping.


    Then she smiled through dribbling eyes and came to sit next to me. Picked up the song I dropped, and helped me keep making my own. Started tangling them in with talking things.


    Helping me find my voice, a path to find the body I needed, and¡­ and¡­


    Family.


    A mother who wanted to see me blossom like no one had done before. How she cried and sang and held me through those days of pain and terror and hope as my old shell fell all to pieces and my thrumming Amwella burned it to ashes as we fought to weave a new song and flesh about my soul and¨C


    Pain and love dance through my everything and I weave another song of Promise to my clutch while holding them close.


    Whatever form you want, I will help you gain.


    Always.


    They wibble and giggle and coo in wonder and curiosity and delight at that. So much so that it¡¯s not until the song¡¯s end that I notice Awnya was humming the melody with me. Weaving in her own dedication to this, and love for them.


    And¡­ while I didn¡¯t answer their questions, of course my Beloveds get it. Easily. Weep and snuggle close as we cuddle our Jellyfish and give them all the warm love we can.


    Our Watcher can¡¯t sing with us. But... I can feel her focus on this. Her furious understanding and¡­ well, she¡¯s really brilliant. If I could learn to sing Fae songs honestly anyone can.


    Especially her.


    ¡°And¡­ that¡¯s the other thing.¡± Our Watcher says as our tears and little sobs have quieted. ¡°We wanted to ask if you¡¯d like to be there when the time comes to question Undreka.¡±


    I¡­ think on that for a few seconds, but am nodding before the words for it come to my lips. ¡°Y¨C yeah. Th¨C thanks f¨C for¡­. For l¨C letting her live. S¨C stay. F¨C f¨C f¨C find h¨C h¨C hap¨C e¨C ness.¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ the happiness won¡¯t come cheap, honestly.¡± Awnya chuckles. ¡°She better have some useful information and a willingness to like¡­ change. A lot. I know she¡¯s been away from Thendra for over a decade but¡­¡±


    ¡°Pl¨C pl¨C please.¡± I whisper. ¡°Sh¨C sh¨C she¡­¡±


    What? She kinda seemed to like me. Even tried to warn me off from getting hurt. But¡­ I mean her attacking our children is really stupid and bad but¡­ I mean¡­


    ¡°I know.¡± Tretion sighs and gives me a soft kiss on the top of my head. Amwella all wriggling in soft understanding of my unspoken worries.


    ¡°Huh?¡± I turn up to meet her gaze, give cold Amwella a little squeeze.


    She smiles softly, but¡­ in her eyes and soul is such worry. ¡°She¡¯s like you were, in many ways. Ensnared and used and¡­ and thinking she doesn¡¯t deserve anything but what that horrid woman gave her, I suspect. We can gift her something I¡¯m not sure she¡¯d had offered. Time, and people other than Thendra to help guide her into wanting more than that life. If what you¡¯ve seen is true, and her death only leads to a type of rebirth devoid of memories¡­¡±


    I wince, nod. Pull her into a hug.


    ¡°She¡¯s gonna probably¡­ share things.¡± Awnya murmurs. ¡°Things she¡¯s done, and that have been done to her. And if you need to leave, I want you to know that¡¯s alright. More than alright, actually, it''s smart to step away. Ask for space. Let us question her and sift through all the things.¡±


    ¡°Y¨C you too.¡± I whisper and turn to nuzzle our Fae. ¡°P¨C protect in¨C insides.¡±


    Awnya chuckles, and pulls me close. ¡°Will do. This¡­ is actually something I¡¯ve kinda done before. And have people to get advice from.¡±


    ¡°R- really?¡± I murmur and pull back to look at her.


    She shrugs through a wince. ¡°Plenty of horrid sorts use slaves to control other slaves. Get them to engage with the violence and abuse. We¡¯ve saved them too. But¡­ not all of them come here in a good headspace. They can turn back to old habits right-quick. Had to isolate and help rehabilitate them. Get them thrumming with healthy songs and unlearning old lessons.¡±


    I purse my lips a bit. ¡°L¨C like m¨C me?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Absolutely.¡± Awnya nods easily. ¡°Although¡­ you were mostly dangerous to yourself. Didn¡¯t want to hurt anyone. Which¡­ still impresses me.¡±


    I don¡¯t need to ask when my expression must be so confused.


    ¡°You told us yourself how¡­ what she made you do. How she kept you in a really bad cycle of violence and feeding balanced for what you considered physical affections.¡± Awnya murmurs, seeming to curl more about me in body and soul.


    ¡°So many others either fall apart, or remake themselves in a reflection of the horrors they both suffer or are made to inflict.¡± Tretion adds. ¡°It¡¯s not a thing to curse or praise, of course, just¡­ part of the process used to break people.¡±


    That¡­ I don¡¯t know how to gobble those words up. What to make of them. Except¡­


    ¡°Y¨C you th¨C th¨C think sh¨C she c¨C can ch¨C ch¨C change?¡± I whisper, ¡°Un¨C Undreka?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Awnya nods. ¡°Not quickly, and probably not easily. It¡¯ll take a lot to trust her to be out and about but¡­ sure. If she wants to.¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C want to help her.¡±


    Tretion nods. ¡°I¡­ Am not too pleased with my first impressions of her. This girl you sacrificed so much to save. But¡­ This is the task I set this place to. Would be remiss to not fulfill the goals I set in honor of your memory. Especially now that you are alive and able to see the fruits of how you inspired us.¡±

 Chapter 122: A Return of Soft Songs before Ravenous Ashes

    CW:


    Okay, SMUT CHAPPY! But also rough chappy. So sex wiff lovers and all that entails! Then and later spirit attacks and death of a spirit. Forced experiencing of memories of cruelty and enslavement of another.


    We don¡¯t go to talk with Undreka right away.


    ¡°Let the big girl simmer for a bit, think past some things. Maybe even get a touch nervous and like¡­ be filled to bursting with answers.¡± Awnya had clarified.


    That makes sense. I guess?


    ¡°And¡­ In the meantime we¡¯ll keep to our plan.¡± Tretion added. ¡°Observation, and considerations of your soul and mantle. These have been horribly stressful and busy days and we all should try and stabilize.¡±


    And¡­ What that meant was lots of just¡­ waiting. Watching. Mostly with Awnya and Tretion and our Jellyfish but often Raska and¡­ well¡­


    My Fae Family.


    They had an eternity of questions. Most I couldn¡¯t really answer well, and we all agreed that it might be best to avoid telling them about Undreka or¡­ or my Jellyfish.


    Who their other mother is.


    But they know about the Fuzzy Spirit I¡¯ve adopted, and that there could be others bubbling up, and¡­ and to let me handle it. Let the Manor do things too. Mostly just¡­ keep back and sing helpful songs and like¡­ yeah.


    They both really wanted more. Even got upset when we skipped over important bits. My mom especially. Even shouted once, but apologized soon after. We¡­ Is it that I don¡¯t trust her? Usete I don¡¯t, and probably won¡¯t ever fully trust again but¡­ I mean¡­


    Should I?


    Tretion and Raska seem to think not doing it is a good idea. And while Awnya seems bothered by it too¡­ She can only sigh and agree with them. Only later finding the words to explain her soul''s settling worry.


    ¡°It¡¯s not just that they betrayed you, girl¡­¡± She murmurs, sitting close while we relaxed and waited for our Tretion to come back. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ kinda who they¡¯ve sung themselves into. What songs they¡¯ve been gobbling up. It¡¯s¡­ Why I didn¡¯t do better back before. Was listening to melodies that didn¡¯t have the notes for a girl like you or what you were going through. Took me leaving and putting my everything toward this place and Tretion to see what I should be doing.¡±


    I try to kinda tackle and hug her into understanding how perfect she was and how none of what happened to me was her fault but¡­ she¡¯d only laughs with those gorgeous Amber-Gold eyes glimmering.


    ¡°Not a matter of fault, Beloved.¡± She rolls us and takes to straddling me, pinning arms and bumping foreheads. ¡°But¡­ what I knew, and understood. I wasn¡¯t ready for you, and¡­ I think it¡¯s smart to wait until they seem more settled. More open. Today was actually kinda perfect for that. They were so worried. Yuna was bursting with anxiety that she was about to lose you again, and¡­ that¡¯s sad but also kinda important? She hadn¡¯t really absorbed that before.¡±


    I murple some replies. Sort of nibbling at understanding but¡­ Well, she¡¯s on top of me and very distracting.


    Showing me in her every movement and snuggle and hug and wibble of Amwella just¡­ how much she missed me too. Was worried something would happen to take me away during my containment. Then her lips are at mine, gentle and soft and warm and bubbling with our songs.


    And after what is probably forever but also only a few minutes, Tretion''s back. Wrapping us in her arms and tendrils and kisses.


    Too long apart. Too long afraid. Too long¡­ starved of touches and affections beyond just¡­ the little that was safe and the stressful first rest together.


    I can¡¯t remember the last time that happened.


    And as always, they are nothing but soft and gentle and just¡­ perfect. For me. Radiating their hornii love and hungry schemes while we nuzzle close.


    Soon I¡¯ve wriggled free in a moment of joined distraction as they share a kiss and I¡¯m moving to just¡­ tackle the closest one with flesh and soul tendrils. Pinning Tretion after she¡¯s finished tumbling backwards. Moving teeth across soft scaled skin as my fingers push aside her really soft robe, finding wonderful hips and tummy and breasts.


    Our Watcher¡¯s head noodles begin to reach down to nuzzle me, but find themselves scooped up by a hungry Fae as Awnya moves to sit above her head. Leaning down to gift Tretion a quick kiss before adjusting to begin work on her caught prizes.


    Because Tretion¡¯s tendrils are REALLY sensitive, and Awnya is really good at finding all the perfect places to mupple this Watcher¡¯s everything with just a few squeezes or caresses or nibbles.


    And soon our Tretion is a wriggling mess beneath us. My mouth and teeth and lovemaking at her chest and breasts while our Fae plays at her writhing head noodles and face and lips. Letting me hug both their souls and feel all the little titters of enjoyment.


    Awnya¡¯s teasing affections are perfectly in tune with her humming melody. Easily able to¡­ to let my soul titter and sing along with her.


    And just like all our times together before since I first was brought back to them¡­


    No Curse¡¯s sting.


    Like¡­ I¡¯m not singing. My mouth is too busy to probably do that, especially as I move my kisses down and along her tummy and hips and squishy thighs and dribbling second lips. Tasting our Beloved Bound¡¯s wonderful flavor and soft flesh and bubbling sounds of enjoyment. With every moan, her fingers dance through my hair alongside tittering words and whispered things of love perfectly timed with our song till she¡¯s full to bursting.


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    Then our Watcher erupts in body and Amwella. Mushed between her lovers as we both nibble with lips and Amwella on her soul, leaving Tretion a panting mess as we both move to cuddle and snuggle about her. Letting the final notes of the song wibble to an end for¨C


    But then Awnya¡¯s pulling me into such a long kiss that fills us both with Tretion¡¯s flavor and¡­ and then she¡¯s pushing me down into the sheets. Pinning me and dancing lips with mine and¡­ and the song begins anew. Eventually bubbling up to more intense notes as my lower parts feel wiggly tendrils and Tretion¡¯s cold lips and¡­ and she¡¯s biting gently and wonderfully and moving to the center of my hornii mess.


    They could very easily pull me into a quick and sudden eruption, but¡­ Our Watcher takes her time. Teasing with lips and tongue and tendril. Eventually finding that perfect slow rhythm where she slides her really bumply tongue deep into me before pulling up and out and over my clit and¡­ and then around and back in and seems to rumble with a bit of laughter as my writhing moans are smothered by Awnya¡¯s kisses and¡­ and I¡­ it¡¯s¡­


    ¡°Please¡­¡± I whisper. Clearly and perfectly. And¡­ more than once. ¡°Tretion¡­ Awnya¡­¡± With only a little stammering a few times.


    And eventually I¡¯m just¡­ growling at Awnya. Wordless demands for her to move. Slide up.


    Let me taste you before our song¡¯s end.


    And just like our first morning together, she giggles with delight and moves to sit astride my face. Letting me quickly and almost desperately pull her down to smush second lips into my mouth and enjoy her fresh dribbling alongside our Watcher¡¯s left-over flavors.


    I¡­ try to tease. To take my time. But she just¡­ tastes so good and their souls are bubbling with not just affections, but Awnya¡¯s incoming orgasm and¡­ and¡­ I just can¡¯t stop myself from pressing deep into our Fae and dragging her to this song¡¯s climax while Tretion does the same to me.


    Closing my eyes and sinking into a twined eruption of soulfire and tasty body things and our Watcher¡¯s bubbling delight.


    Only really understanding outside parts again after we¡¯re all snuggled close and breathings steady while murmuring soft loving things to each other. My words are a mess again, but¡­ so are Awnya¡¯s. So I¡¯m not too worried.


    Sometimes words can¡¯t squeeze themselves into the right shapes to express how much we love each other. Especially after really wonderful and needed sex.


    And after that¡­ we rest more. Focus on trying to find a routine. Sleeping well and often in the embraces of those that bubble with nothing but love and hope.


    And... It''s three days before the shadows bubble again.


    Early in the morning, as I sit at the edges of my mother¡¯s Grove, I hear snarling screams and know from the Fuzzy Spirit¡¯s reaction that they¡¯re coming from within.


    It¡¯s all angry, and filling the mebe parts of my soul with itself and its fury. But¡­ waiting.


    ¡°Try not to attack, unless it seems hostile.¡± Tretion had asked. ¡°I¡¯ll always trust your judgment, but know that each spirit could carry valuable information. And even aid, if they seem trustworthy.¡±


    ¡°And worse case, your Fuzzy headmate can drive them off.¡± Awnya added.


    No Reaver instincts flaring up. Which is a good sign. Means it''s not as scary as you. I consider, and my Fuzzy Spirit agrees wordlessly but¡­ still seems ready to pounce as the shadows gather and bubble and fizzle and wribble and¡­


    Fire.


    But¡­ also ash?


    Twisting and fibbling more like water would as it twists and pulls free of the muck. Then forms into a more¡­ bug shape? Lots and lots of legs with an upper body with more people shaped chest and three arms and all of it like some really pretty sculpture formed of ash and cracking scarlet flame. Long hair that seems to both fall like normal, but also smolder like smoke.


    ¡°H¨C hi.¡± I say as softly and nicely as I can.


    Trying to ignore the hissing memories of sadness and pain and... and itchy burns that this thing remind me of.


    The spirit shakes themselves, then glances up to regard me. Sort of also glancing about but¡­ I¡¯m the focus. My core and tendrils and little wibbling Jellyfish.


    Words pulse from the flame and ash, weird and wibbly hard to understand but¡­ Huh? Questions? Greetings?


    ¡°Um¡­ My n¨C name is L¨C lyra. Y¨C yours? W¨C words for you? Sh¨C she? H¨C he? They or it? O¨C others?¡± I ask.


    The spirit bubbles with things. An odd¡­ twisty mess of ideas and words and sparks and ashes and¨C


    But Reaver instincts flair as the spirit leaps at me. Soot and flame skipping over distance like thoughts can slip from wonderful to horrid. Enveloping a tendril and clawing for my core and my Jellyfish.


    Howling demands to submit to what I now understand is¨C


    An endless sea of soot blankets all these ones can see. There are oddities, but they rarely last long. Burning the wretched growths that use the Dead Cinders is something all furious Sparks adore.


    But this¡­ ehehehe.


    This new thing moves. Breaths. Titters with warm STOLEN FLAME THESE ONES WILL RECLAIM AND¨C


    I¡¯m pinning them between gnashing Naranggas. Hissing and squeezing and biting the stupid spirit who thought I was just another weak thing to be eaten and used and¨C


    The malething fought well. In both flame and flesh. But he is young and bursting with the ambitions of those that have not felt real pain.


    But he will learn.


    These ones smirk with his lips as he whimpers and mewls and tries so very hard to reclaim control of his body. But we simply consume him agai¨C


    Fuzzy Spirit tears at these one''s throat while I go for the heart and my Jellyfish hiss and spit and chew at the edges. Tearing the spirit to shreds just like how we killed the last Godthing of Thera¨C


    The body adapts to the changes we demand, and its Cinderkin¡¯s spirit has long broken under the weight of these one¡¯s will. Submitting mind and service as befits a slave. His Amwella a wellspring offered freely now. Too afraid of these one¡¯s punishments and displeasure, and eager for approvals and rewards.


    He guides us from the Rift of Dead Cinders. Shows these one¡¯s the path he took to burn his way through to a nearby Rift as it drifts past. And now sits quietly as these one¡¯s stride through the bustling streets. Returning to his enemies to begin consumption and considerations of how best to burn¨C


    The spirit is gone, torn to shreds, and I sit shivering and shaking as the memories bubble through me. Flashes of cruelty and horrid hungers that make me giggle as they spark up, only to weep openly as I fall from their wretched embrace.


    Jellyfish nuzzle so close though. Radiating their own soft songs of comforts and worry while the Fuzzy Spirit does the same and¨C


    These ones have found refuge within Theradas. A wretched waste of sand that reminds these ones of the Dead Cinders. Stirs the old hate like no other Rift. Boils the Amwella within and even the slave to writhe in spite. Shared memories and lessons working as sparks to ignite it into Function as needed. Old memories and habits and wayward thoughts slowly Embered to useless ash beneath these one¡¯s wishes.


    And such oddities to consider and consume here. The Godling is a thing that interacts little with their Rift, and from gathered words and consumed memories¡­ they¡¯ve set a burrow deep beneath the city. Paranoid and allowing very few to bask in their flame¡¯s glow. The mantle they bear buckling their mind and spirit beneath its he¨C


    My mother finds me curled upon myself. Shivering while humming a little song along with the family within and about my soul.


    Using the Curse''s sting to help keep me grounded.


    Has an eternity of questions, mostly if she should call my Beloveds, to which I nod while crawling up into the embrace she¡¯s offering. Letting me cry and sing and endure the curse''s sting so quietly as I hate myself for the cruel memories that feel so real to me. Fill me to bursting with fear at the future I worry bearing this mantle will mean.


    Not just for me, but those I love.

 Chapter 123: Their Hearts True Considerations

    <u>CW:</u>


    BULDERII POV!!! Talk of catching a new godling, and implications of horrid things being done to remove her mantle and possibly enslave her.


    I slip into the Manor¡¯s entryway to regard the dozen song-drenched figures waiting in the maw of this beast.


    She knew the Fae would seek us out. With either the urgency of a lazy creature injured and annoyed by our easy capture and interrogation of their Elder, or cautious curiosity¡­ even we did not know for certain which would happen.


    And Thendra was quite amused to see which it was.


    The five Reavers before me are quickly joined by the entire lurking clutch. Some young and pulsing with hunger to the bountiful souls before them, while the three survivors from the last brood remain quiet and still.


    Remembering well the Wretch their rewoven allies fell to and sensing kindred songs on the Fae.


    I stick to the back, bow slung over my shoulder, but five arrows clutched loosely in open caution. Letting one of the others growl warnings and little demands of the two Fae who step forward.


    ¡°We¡¯re here to speak with your Mistress.¡± A feathered Fae woman speaks, keeping voice level. ¡°Either send for her or we¡¯ll brush you all aside and find her ourselves.¡±


    A younger of the pack slinks off without needing to be told while no more words are exchanged.


    And soon our Hr?daya stands in the stairwell, and our brood goes still as she purrs. ¡°Fae.¡±


    She¡¯s been¡­ strange of late. Endlessly amused at odd moments and seemingly at random times.


    The lead woman¡¯s eyes fix on her. ¡°Ah. Is this your gaggle?¡±


    Thendra nods. ¡°It is.¡±


    ¡°Wonderful, My name is Opherity. And are you this¡­¡± The Fae woman¡¯s nose scrunches up like the next word tastes foul to her. ¡°Thendra, brute I¡¯ve heard all manner of dark songs about?¡±


    My Hr?daya smirks, ¡°And if I am?¡±


    ¡°Then we¡¯d very much like to share a peaceful talk with you.¡± Opherity responds as the Fae about her seem to tense. Songs tilting to things that seem to sit on the edge of a chasm, prepared to tumble into sudden motion at even a hint of violence.


    Thendra laughs. ¡°I could be convinced to extend Guest Rights to a few of you, but only when Oaths of peace are sworn.¡±


    The Fae¡¯s eyes narrow. ¡°You¡¯d have us sit vulnerable while your brood lurks close?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve only sought conflict with your kind when it was brought to me and mine.¡± Thendra shrugs.


    Another Fae hisses past the woman, one with feline features and sweeping tail. ¡°You entered our woods, attacked one of our people!¡±


    My Hr?daya grins at the Fae. ¡°And three of yours once stood where you do, seeking to burn and bury all within this manor.¡±


    He moves to spit more words, but Opherity silences him with a snap of angry song before turning back to Thendra. ¡°We can argue over past grievances till the Dream¡¯s End, but none of us would gain from it. We¡¯re here to discuss keeping that time from coming. Which this Rift will feel first if you don¡¯t help us handle the new Godling of Theradas.¡±


    And we can feel it too. The coming tides sweeping in to swallow this Rift and those drifting close about it. But¡­ that is not a thing simple Reavers should notice.


    Thendra looks mildly surprised, then thoughtful, contemplative even, despite her eyes glimmering with jaded humor only I can recognize and feel the amusement beneath. ¡°Then pick two of your number, and I¡¯ll choose two of mine. We will sit to speak near the open doors while the others stand close.¡±


    ¡°Agreed.¡± Opherity nods, and we adjust this space to accommodate.


    After drinks are offered and refused, I remain standing at Thendra¡¯s back while one of the three older Reavers sits at her side.


    ¡°So, I¡¯ll lay our demands bare.¡± Opherity begins. ¡°We want her, Lyra. Exact location or general directions, any will do. For this we will offer what was spoken of back in our woods by the Fae you tortured. A removal of any Curses laid alongside bounties of coin or otherwise. Probably more if you name things reasonable to our limited tolerances.¡±


    ¡°And¡­ why would I trade away my Lyra¡¯s trust so easily?¡± My Hr?daya muses.


    ¡°You think the favor of a Godling, especially one as¡­ capricious as the keeper of Theradas, is a thing worth valuing instead of the steadfast promises of the Fae?¡± Opherity quirks an eyebrow in disapproval.


    Thendra seems to relax, rests an arm on the back of the couch as she looks over the Fae and those standing behind. ¡°Other than two of your kind, Fae have sought only conflict with me and mine. All others have broken Oaths like so much rotted wood. Sought to steal from us or otherwise attack our allies.¡±


    Opherity huffs in annoyance. ¡°You¡¯d have done better to let us. We¡¯d have freed you from her Curses and blighted songs. Let you freely mire yourselves in this wretched Rift afterwards. Lyra is¡­¡± She pauses, seems to consider something. ¡°Look. Thendra. She¡¯s not just some human girl gifted songs due to a Fae mother¡¯s pity. We can put her to use. But afterwards this Rift will need a new Godling.¡±


    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    Ah¡­ Awnya¡¯s gifted revelations to the Huntress. Tilting even the elders to desperate action beyond what they were otherwise chasing¡­


    Thendra ensures her jade eyes glimmer with nothing but interest. Despite how easy it is for me to feel her carefully consider the trap these song weavers are being led into.


    ¡°Oh? The Fae will be able to control who that Mantle passes to?¡± She purrs.


    Opherity nods. ¡°Yes. And the girl will be contained after the mantle of Theradas is torn from her. Any vengeance she might have wanted to level against you and yours not just restrained, but forgotten entirely as she is set to a better purpose.¡±


    ¡°Hmmm¡­¡± My Hr?daya muses in false thought, then tip-taps a finger on her still angry red scar. ¡°Lyra mentioned even your kind struggled to remove her workings from decades ago. Before she¡¯s drank up years of Soul-Flame and bears a Godling¡¯s Flame. How can you be so certain this is an Oath you can keep?¡±


    The Fae pauses, glances back at a man at her side. One with dark scales and three arms tipped with sapphire talons.


    He¡¯s been staring at the mark this entire time, and only now looks at Opherity to murmur. ¡°It¡¯s woven tight, but at the Lyra¡¯s cleansing and containment it should fade. Maybe not all at once, but if this one later consumes the mantle of the girl who wove it¡­ It¡¯ll crack.¡±


    ¡°There.¡± Opherity looks back to her. ¡°Our current expert¡¯s honest opinion. And even if it remains, the mantle will deaden its bite.¡±


    ¡°The Mantle of a Godling, and all that entails, for information about the place where my Lyra nests?¡± Thendra murmurs.


    ¡°Yes. You don¡¯t even need to deliver her to us.¡± The Fae nods. ¡°Give us a location, and we¡¯ll handle her pacification.¡±


    My Hr?daya laughs and shakes her head in mock disbelief. ¡°You think her defeat will be so easily obtained?¡±


    ¡°Honestly? No. But we¡¯re not fool enough to invite a gaggle of flesh-eating soul drinkers to nip at our heels.¡± Opherity rebukes. ¡°We¡¯d ask you to stay here, under watch of a few of our Fae to ensure you don¡¯t consider breaking our agreement while we go after her. Then, once she¡¯s captured, we¡¯ll bring you the mantle and let you consume it.¡±


    ¡°Hmmm¡­ No.¡± Thendra purrs with a grin. ¡°I''ve sworn oaths of neutrality with the red-haired songstress who nests with her now. Your songs carry sweet promises, but the threats opposed to them are toothless Fae.¡±


    Opherity¡¯s expression sours, and many of the Fae shift uncomfortably as Thendra¡¯s gaze moves over the group. Bearing a thing of mocking taunts.


    The Fae woman sighs, ¡°No threats Reaver, you¡¯re going to tell us. One way or another. I¡¯m simply offering to let you make the choice to cooperate willingly.¡±


    Thendra barks out a laugh, ¡°Ah. Here it is, finally, the Fae mercy my Lyra endured every time she sought safety with your kind.¡±


    A shift, and then I¡¯m twisting back to see¡­


    The Huntress from the Fae Wood, and two others at her back. All wearing soft humanoid shapes as they loom in the stairwell behind us. One a woman even larger than Thendra and covered in dark maroon scales, the other small and laden with pale fur.


    My Hr?daya¡¯s amusement is¡­ almost overpowering my own instincts. But this bow is already notching an arrow as my body moves to consider the threat. Instincts from the depth I''ll never fully recall or understand rising up to prepare me to play my part in our Hr?daya''s scheme.


    ¡°Tell this one that if she so much as lifts that bow at me again, I¡¯m going to tear her arms off.¡± The Huntress growls. Eyes boring into mine.


    Thendra¡¯s face has gained a mask of careful considerations as she glances back to regard the intruders she allowed to slip past into our home. But within she roils with nothing but humor at this. At the hunters that think themselves able to confound the monster she¡¯s tamed.


    ¡°And there is something else you should know.¡± Opherity says with a careful tone. ¡°If Lyra, or one bearing the mantle she wears, doesn¡¯t return to Theradas this city will be overcome with Blight. And every single day that she¡¯s away more of it and the surrounding Rifts will die. Permanently.¡±


    My Hr?daya looks back to the Fae woman before her, seemingly ignoring her words of warning. ¡°You mean to break your Oaths to me? Violate the rights given to you as my guests?¡±


    Opherity snorts, ¡°Oaths offered to kind such as yours aren¡¯t worth keeping. Especially when you mean to protect a girl who will hide away while more Rifts are consumed.¡±


    ¡°Broken Oaths come with their own costs, Fae.¡± Thendra murmurs. ¡°Are you and yours willing to pay their dues?¡±


    I suspect the next words from the Fae woman¡¯s mouth to be things of finality. Dismissing my Hr?daya¡¯s words while pressing the three Elders that have entered behind into action. But¡­


    Then the floor tilts. And only Thendra, myself, and the Reavers remain fully steady while all others tumble or sway.


    The Fae must not have taken the Old Goat Elder¡¯s words seriously, or his daughter¡¯s, about this place. Dismissed their words on what dangers it poses as unthinkable for a gaggle of Reavers to achieve. Even when gifted plain words spoken more truthfully than even I had expected from Thendra that day to those Fae.


    ¡°Wh¨C¡± The Fae woman stammers as she sways in the chair into those at her side.


    Words are not songs, and threats spoken do not break our offerings of Guest Rights. So while I keep my bow notched, I do not quite raise it to aim at the trio at the steps as they struggle to keep their feet beneath them.


    ¡°Both in the immediate future, and the distant.¡± Thendra continues as if she did not just nudge her manor into hinting at just how well it could eat them all. ¡°So I ask again, are you willing to pay those costs?¡±


    Every Fae freezes. From the moment they arrived they were dripping with a fear I only just now understand. The terror when beings taught that death is theirs, and theirs alone to choose, stride forward with that truth in question.


    And this motion reminded them just how their numbers and songs would not save them from the beast they stand within.


    ¡°Reaver.¡± Opherity hisses, eyes tumbling between the Fae she¡¯d been so confident would handle the brunt of any real danger and the manor about. ¡°What have you¨C¡±


    ¡°I could take the intrusion of those behind me as a violation of our agreement, Fae.¡± Thendra growls, but then settles her tone into an almost... amused purring. ¡°But¡­ it is as I have said. I do not seek conflict with your kind. And yet you come to my home, endlessly, demanding all manner of things from me and mine.¡±


    ¡°You raise ancient beasts to wake and snarl at us.¡± The smaller Fae back in the stairwell hisses, fur bristling to stand on end. Already steady and rolling forward a step toward us. ¡°You!?! How?¡±


    My Hr?daya only lets a dark grin touch her lips while ignoring the yipping Fae behind her. But¡­ her mood is souring.


    ¡°You¡¯ll Rot, Just like the rest. You know this.¡± The Huntress from before murmurs, almost thoughtfully, as she steps forward to lay a hand on the smaller hunter''s shoulder. ¡°You believe us.¡±


    Thendra¡¯s grin only widens, but within there is the smallest hitch of... not worry. No. If this Fae becomes a threat she will adjust her motions in less than a heartbeat and slay everyone here. None will survive. Possibly... possibly even her Reavers.


    ¡°You¡­ What?¡± Opherity pales, eyes moving between the Huntress and Thendra.


    ¡°Choose. Break your Oaths, and bear their costs. Or¡­ leave.¡± She settles back into her chair, radiating calm despite the souring anger I feel bubbling within her. The annoyance that this Fae might begin to piece together wider schemes and need to be removed instead of used.


    Some of the color returns to the Fae¡¯s face as she locks eyes with my Hr?daya. Swallowing before standing. Nodding to the three deep within the manor. ¡°Let us all step from this place in peace, and we will seek no conflict with you within your home.¡±


    Thendra nods, her face turning to annoyance as within she reclaims some amusement at the fear that drips from Opherity. How it is a thing of prey drawing back into what it thinks is the protection of her Pack.


    Because the threat is clear. The Fae will be watching this place. Ready to spring upon all who would venture forth.


    Thinking that even one of us would fall to them without this manor¡¯s protections if Thendra freed us from her demands of restraint.

 Chapter 124: Sinking Rifts

    <u>CW:</u>


    Hallo! Talk of mass death and Rifts sinking into Blighted Oceans. And dying homes and their siblings. mhmhmhm!


    Undreka tries not to show any emotions when we sit to talk with her. Door opened to her room and a bubble from the Manor up between us. But¡­ her soul twitches in such an odd way. Like¡­ When she saw my burns and stammers she was a little surprised, maybe even a touch sad. But also still willing to be really mean about them, even if part of her was wanting to do it to make me stop trying to understand her.


    Now though? I dunno. Something she sees in me makes her pause. Maybe it¡¯s her time alone to think but¡­ she seems more messy about how she feels about me. Soul like a gurgling creek filled with angry frogs hopping in and out of the water. All the feels burping up at seemingly random times.


    And that makes the Curse I wove for her hiss and dig deep into my sea-bed of a soul. The more I try to understand and ¡®sympathize¡¯ with Undreka, the more it bites.


    The Fuzzy Fae nuzzles close. Still not trying to word things, but radiating worry and concern and¡­ well, yeah. Love. It¡¯s new and fresh and nothing like my Beloved¡¯s or Jellyfish, but it¡¯s there and the Spirit is happy to feel it while curling close. Like a big soft scarf or blanket about me, it even seems to stretch almost out of the mebe parts of my Amwella.


    Between that and our Jellyfish and my Beloved¡¯s letting me cling to their souls as the¡­ the mucky memories from that Spirit gurgle up and sting and make me wanna find my Dark Goddess and beg her to rip and tear and claw away everything for¨C


    [Safe.] The Fuzzy Fae murmurs so softly and gently. [None your fault.]


    Jerking me from my mess with a surprised little Amwella meep in reply to its sudden words for me.


    I¡¯ve struggled to sleep. Found it impossible to¡­ to relax or not twitch and jump at everything since the last Spirit¡¯s bubbling up and attacking and¡­ and the memories it left me.


    Still so vibrant and real and biting and horrible and easy to both get lost in and hate myself for falling into. Tretion and Awnya are wonderful but¡­ the Fuzzy Fae has been the best at reaching out and pulling me from spiraling into them. Nudging reminders or full on nibbled bites to jerk me from the horrid recollections of slaughter and cruelty.


    With Furthonois¡­ it wasn¡¯t like that. She was kinda like me. Hurt and just¡­ trying to find her happiness. Might have been a nice godling if not for how she¡¯s been hurt and found within the Mantle. But her memories are just as glowy and consuming when I consider them. Which worries us.


    What if I get more memories like this? How will it change me? Will¡­ will I struggle to stay me? And are our Jellyfish getting them? They seem nothing but soft and sweet and not at all bothered or changed, but what if they are, and as they grow they¡­ they get hurt by these memories too?


    ¡°So¡­ What information can you provide?¡± Tretion asks after a long silence, stopping me from doing anything but nuzzling the Spirit back into the soft fuzziness as we wait for Undreka to answer.


    Tretion and Awnya explained things to Undreka while I sat quietly. Not all of it. But¡­ enough for their questions to be understood, and also so I can see if she¡¯s lying when answers are given.


    She pulls eyes away from my stinging Curse to consider our Watcher. ¡°More than some, less than others. But¡­ This one has been stirring the Sapana since I first met her. Drawing all manner of old buried things to rise to the surface.¡±


    Tretion shakes her head, but with a wibble of head tendrils and consideration of my Amwella. ¡°How can we help her?¡±


    Undreka considers us all before replying. ¡°If you¡¯re willing to risk your own safety and leave a Rift to drown, keep her here. Continue to oppose the wretched Spirits with gentler regard. They may be numerous, but they are not endless.¡±


    We all snap up to stare at her.


    ¡°W¨C what?¡± Awnya hisses, ¡°What do you mean, leave a Rift to drown?¡±


    Undreka shrugs, but can¡¯t stop a strange mix of mirth and anger from touching her lips. ¡°Theradas, and all those Rifts that relied on its Godling¡¯s Hearthflame, will quickly find itself drug into the Blighted ocean.¡±


    Swept into my Beloved Sea? That¡­


    I consider the Rift that became my home, at least in part. Imagine all the wretched sorts and all the enslaved souls and¡­ and the sand and spice just¡­ gone. Forever. Melted away to tasty Blight and Rot.


    Ruin forever.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­¡± Awnya whispers. ¡°They¡­ That¡¯s why the Fae put up with them. Don¡¯t even consider trying to overthrow the Godthings. The mantles are unstable as is AND if they are lost the¡­ all the Rifts aside from the Fae Wood would be lost.¡±


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    Tretion seethes. ¡°That must be why the Fae Spirit demanded Lyra return. It knew what the cost of her remaining here would be.¡±


    The Fuzzy Fae nuzzles closer, murpling in odd ways. Not agreeing but¡­ feeling guilty. For both the attack and the consequences of failing and¡­ other things. Lots of wordless pains it¡¯s struggling to even begin sharing. So I hug it close and give it the same words it gave me.


    Safe. None your fault!


    It melts a bit at that, and settles into little whimpers of surprise and love at my returned understanding.


    ¡°How long does Theradas and the other Rifts have?¡± Awnya asks.


    ¡°Last I felt that Rift beneath my feet, I¡¯d have guessed a year at most before it sinks.¡± She considers, ¡°Less for the Rifts around it.¡±


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± Our Fae spits again. ¡°We¡­ We have to warn them. Or the Fae. Get them to organize some kind of escape for all the souls there!¡±


    Can¡¯t stop a wiggle of tendrils at how our wonderful Fae doesn¡¯t even bleed a bit of thought that I should go back and try to live there and risk my happiness for that cruel Rift.


    Undreka raises an eyebrow. ¡°The Fae and Godlings are aware of this.¡±


    ¡°Then¡­ they¡¯re doing that? Right? Pulling souls from Theradas to safer Rifts.¡± Awnya presses.


    ¡°Last I was aware, your kin were devoted to finding Lyra.¡± The former Reaver nods to me. ¡°And the Godlings were settling back into their Rifts. They might pick and tear at the carcass of the dying, but¡­ Theradas was not home to the most valuable of souls. Dreadweave often dumped those they found undesirable into that place.¡±


    Awnya hugs me close and rests her chin on the top of my head. Thoughts racing in worry and annoyance at that. Amwella a mess.


    ¡°But¡­ That all aside.¡± Tretion shakes her head, breaking the silence. ¡°What is your brood? Really? What is Thendra? You said these children are hers. But they can sing. Swim through the Blight as easy as their mother.¡±


    Undreka, so suddenly it makes me flinch a bit, grins as her soul dances in predatory motions. ¡°That, is a dangerous question to ponder, Matron Tretion.¡±


    ¡°We have Fae and Godlings and apparently errant Reavers hunting us, Undreka.¡± My Beloved quirks an eyebrow and presses. ¡°Are you going to answer or not?¡±


    Undreka glares off and away. ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C why?¡± I ask.


    Undreka remains still, but her Amwella twists in discomfort when my Curse bites. As she sees me seeing how much her own memories hurt her too. How little she understands what she¡¯s feeling and wanting and how she¡¯s questioning everything we ever knew.


    ¡°Because it¡¯s not important. Not anymore.¡± She rumbles softly. ¡°You have all claimed her clutch as yours, gifted them warmth and life and promises of a future without expectations or limits. And¡­ because I¡¯m not sure myself what we were. Only what she chooses us to be.¡±


    Before my Beloveds can reply, I¡¯m whispering. ¡°R¨C Reaver.¡±


    Undreka nods carefully. ¡°Yes. Words and temperament are a well-cultivated thing she mantles as easily as you wear your clothes. To look beneath them is¡­ unwise. But know that her form is as shiftable as mine, more so. Even.¡±


    ¡°That seems like terrible advice.¡± Our Watcher narrows eyes while half-glaring. ¡°What benefit is there in not understanding our foe?¡±


    Foe? Enemy? W- with Thendra? The idea makes me shiver in such terror. No matter how much I¡­ I knew it could come to this. If she wasn¡¯t willing to let me or our children go. So much that Awnya moves to curl closer about me. Humming calming melodies and through them asking if I¡¯m okay.


    ¡°Mebe p¨C parts of h¨C her S¨C soul.¡± I murmur. ¡°D¨C don¡¯t want to m¨C make bubble up.¡±


    Undreka nods, and Awnya seems to gather a little understanding. But our Brilliant Watcher¡¯s Amwella is all wriggling alongside her head tendrils as she seems to chew on the idea.


    ¡°Alright, let¡¯s keep this simple then.¡± Our Beloved Fae considers. ¡°What does the big cunt want? Longways, that is. She¡¯s old and patient and smarter than pretty much everyone else we¡¯ve dealt with.¡±


    Undreka looks down, thinks on her words and thoughts and feelings long before speaking. ¡°Oaths Kept. I don¡¯t¡­ have the memories to pair with the anger I felt. But¡­ These children break older Promises. Things I don¡¯t remember the words to, but seethe with anger over.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve spoken to her since Lyra last saw you.¡± Tretion presses. And it¡¯s not a question.


    I wince at how Undreka¡¯s soul wibbles in acknowledgement before she nods. ¡°I was there in the Fae Wood, was the second to strike, and even interrogated the Huntress who was tracking Awnya.¡±


    I go still. Undreka helped protect Awnya?


    ¡°Why?¡± Awnya murmurs. ¡°Why go back to her? Why help her?¡±


    ¡°I was hoping for answers. But¡­ Only got them when I came here. After I left her behind in Theradas. Why she was feeding our brood to Lyra. Why she groomed her to consume that wretched godling¡¯s mantle¡± The not Reaver sighs. ¡°The answer lies writhing about her soul.¡±


    ¡°And what answers did Thendra want from this Fae?¡± Tretion adds.


    ¡°If she actually knew where this new Godling was.¡± Undreka shrugs. ¡°She didn¡¯t. Which means the Fae at large don¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°But Thendra told you where to find her?¡± Awnya presses.


    Undreka glances between us, then smiles. ¡°You still don¡¯t know how I got here? Do you?¡±


    ¡°It was going to be one of my questions.¡± Tretion''s nods, bringing her head noodles to still their wriggles. ¡°Not from the¡­ maybe parts, as Lyra calls them. That was just where you hid. But you somehow bypassed outer gates and wards that even I can only barely understand how they work.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s sister let me slip through.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ What?¡± Tretion hisses. ¡°Sister?¡±


    The former Reaver laughs, but not cruelly. More in wribbling satisfaction. Maybe¡­ glad to have a good answer? ¡°This place is one of a brood, and some even remember their siblings. An entrance to this other sits within your late Grandmother¡¯s home in Theradas.¡±


    Both I and Awnya freeze as memories of twisting sea-shell pathways that reverberated song dance through our soul¡¯s memories.


    ¡°The Rorliras?¡± Awnya whispers. ¡°It¡¯s like this place? We¡­ My dad was always told it was just weird tunnels, odd old types long dead from the Dream burrowed between Rifts. Dangerous if allowed to unfold but more sleepy than anything else.¡±


    Undreka nods. ¡°Each rests or hides in different places, but Thendra had us help find a shard of that one. Coax it into unfolding for the late Matron of Watchers at the promise of long hidden treasures within and us as her favored hunting pack to claim them.¡±


    I shiver at the memories of that place. Endless echoing songs and wretched edges and¡­ and worse. How much that place seemed to groan with pain.


    ¡°Thendra once told Lyra that her own home was similar to this place¡­¡± Tretion muses, already skipping ahead of mine and Awnya¡¯s racing thoughts.


    ¡°Similar as a dying beast to healthier kin.¡± Undreka shrugs. ¡°Her¡¯s cannot reach us, last I knew. And the one the Matron claimed had to be coaxed and bribed into letting me find the right passage. Gifted a bounty of unstolen Boulflame.¡±


    ¡°B¨C but¡­¡± I whisper. ¡°Th¨C th¨C Then¨C dra could follow s¨C same p¨C path thr¨C rhough? C¨C come here?¡±


    Undreka nods.


    And I am nothing but afraid at the worry I see tearing through her soul at that admission.

 Chapter 125: Rising Inspirations

    <u>CW:</u>


    RASKA POV!!! Um... mostly clean? Talk of freeing slaves


    She doesn¡¯t even notice what she¡¯s been doing for¡­ a good two or three minutes. Which is both really fucking cute, distracting, and kinda worrying.


    She did this maybe¡­ two or three times back before. But only once to me. And it was when she was really trying to think on the couple words she wanted to try forcing out.


    Nibbling on someone she trusted. Softly chewing on my fingers and knuckles and iron talons while gently letting her tongue touch and graze flesh. Trying so hard to communicate both her struggle to talk, but really not wanting us to leave.


    Which¡­ you¡¯d think the distinct scent and whatnot of an Everflame would tell her right quick that she¡¯s grabbed the digits that don¡¯t belong to either Awnya or Tretion. But¡­ hmmm¡­


    Wish I could read Amwella. Get a better idea of her thoughts. But other than really big and obvious twists in the souls of people I¡¯m familiar with I¡¯ve never been able to read them. Especially now that she¡¯s got this big mess of a soul. A twitch that could mean anger or terror could just be¡­ like¡­ the way her core flickers!


    But she had to have known immediately. Which¡­ I mean I know she wants to trust me. I think. That could also be her own abuse and guilt making her think that somehow my mistakes were her fault and that she owes me. Which is really wrong. And she knows that. I¡­ I think? But knowing and feeling are such different things! So¡­ maybe this was intentional? A first step? A gesture of action where words are hard and songs dangerous?


    Or am I reading too much into what was effectively the simple mistake of a girl fucking terrified of everything Tretion and Awnya told me they all just discovered when talking to that Reaver?


    I turn these questions over and over while also considering all that, then offer them to my First Flame.


    Peva seems unamused with my internal debate. His acceptance of her has been¡­ really weird. Kinda scary, honestly. If it wasn¡¯t for Lyra being the sweet girl she is I¡¯d have worried that she¡¯d don¡¯t something to him and me and all our Sparks. Used some weird mix of Fae song to force us into being okay with her tendrils that so easily hug us all.


    But¡­ no. All he could really ever convey was that their ¡®Spite would be wasted on her¡¯.


    Which¡­ like her being from outside the Rifts and what Awnya calls the Dream would make that work. The Sparks are always on about Amwella being a stolen thing from them. So Lyra just¡­ being new and sweet and kind to the Rifts might be something he just puzzled together along with the rest?


    I wonder what would happened if she ever went to see the Dead Cin¨C


    ¡°Raska?¡± Tretion asks, and I know I¡¯ve missed a question.


    And¡­ in the quiet, Lyra¡¯s released my fingers from her nibbles and seems to pause in such a mess of emotions. Her Jellyfish, which is such a fucking adorable name for her children, nuzzle her and their other two mothers endlessly. Sensing all the anxiety and apparently trying to snuggle it from their family¡¯s souls.


    ¡°Sorry. Was asking Peva things. What¡¯s the question?¡± I look over Lyra, who moved to my embrace pretty quick when we entered this little Grove to talk in after their first meeting with that Reaver. And¡­ like, I think I know why she wanted to sit with me? Breaks my heart. But¡­ Also shows her finding new ways to deal with her feelings for me. Snuggle me close to make sure anytime she might feel panic or terror for my past mistakes¡­ well¡­ she can sense my calm love for her.


    Awnya can¡¯t help but huff and smirk at what must be such a blush on Lyra¡¯s face, then look up at me. ¡°Mostly just wanting your thoughts.¡±


    I sigh and shrug. ¡°Honestly¡­ It¡¯s all bad. But Theradas has always been a husk of a place. And the Rifts about it stink with the same. If a group as powerful as the Fae know and don¡¯t act¡­ well, too bad. Let it sink. Not worth the risk.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± Awnya runs her hands through her hair. ¡°It might be terrible, yeah. A place full to bursting with the worst sorts. The rotting heart of slave trade. Most who wind up there are either wanting to hurt others¡­ or sent there to be hurt.¡±


    ¡°But¡­¡± I wince. Thinking of what this place is. The kind of people who¡­ who¡¯ve made up its populace. Thousands and thousands of former slaves. All freed and given a safe place. Inspired by the girl I now hold close. Only manage to whisper weakly as I see Awnya''s resolve to do something so stupid harden. ¡°That¡¯s not your fault. And¡­ and you all would have to risk so much to even send messages to the Fae who¡¯re more like to try and fuck you over than help solve this problem.¡±


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    ¡°Which is why we wouldn¡¯t even consider asking for their help.¡± Tretion¡¯s face is mostly blank, but her eyes and headstalks display a devious bubbling. ¡°We¡¯d treat this like any other Rift overrun with dangers and enemies. Our focus on those enslaved, and getting them into the safety of our manor.¡±


    ¡°A¨C and¡­¡± Lyra whispers. ¡°H¨C h¨C help. Now. N¨C not j¨C just Awnya.¡±


    Her Fae grins, despite the worry that shines in her eyes and probably soul, then nods. ¡°Yeah. And more home to come back to than before. But¡­ same promises. None of us are expendable. None of us can be left behind or risking ourselves to save anyone out there beyond what the others here agree to. We plan this out.¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C what?¡± I let my terror and worry and fucking¡­ sheer anger bleed across my expression and Spark. ¡°You can¡¯t be serious. Talking to Thendra was one thing. Even like¡­ trying to pass a message to the Fae or others I could get. But this¡­ Are you really suggesting what I''m hearing?¡±


    Awnya¡¯s grin widens a bit. ¡°Raid Theradas and her surrounding Rifts of every slave we can find? Tug em here and keep em safe while their old abusers and tormentors are too focused on us to notice the Rot sweepin¡¯ in around their feet? Yeah. Pretty much.¡±


    ¡°Fuck.¡± I hiss. ¡°This¡­ but¡­¡±


    ¡°We¡¯d been doing this for nearly a decade, Raska.¡± Tretion nods, ¡°Started with a single wonderful Fae¡¯s work, and grew a network of connections, allies, and information to gather up the people you now protect. And while we had many close calls¡­ our Fae never was outmaneuvered.¡±


    Awnya giggles. ¡°Well¡­ that¡¯s not true. I was, on my last outing. But the girl who pinned me will be helping us.¡±


    ¡°I hardly think that counts,¡± Tretion nudges her. ¡°And you were a bit out of practice and in a city ready and waiting.¡±


    ¡°S¨C sorry.¡± Lyra whispers.


    I hug her closer, but Awnya leans forward to tip up Lyra''s chin with a finger and dizzy her with a really unfairly gorgeous smile. ¡°Hey. None of that. You¡¯re forgiven. And I¡¯m so very glad you caught me that day.¡± She whispers.


    And¡­ Lyra wiggles free of my arms and falls into Awnya¡¯s embrace. Nuzzling close and murmuring little magicless things of love and thanks. All the while her tendrils are still grasping happily at mine and Tretion¡¯s Amwella.


    ¡°And we¡¯re going to take this slow.¡± Tretion adds. ¡°We have a year to gather information, and we do not mean to risk our happiness recklessly. Only¡­ keep to the purpose of this place. None of us would rest well thinking about all the slaves that¡¯ll drown.¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ll help. Of course. Just¡­ I feel like we¡¯re walking into such a trap.¡±


    Awnya shrugs and hugs the girl in her arms closer. ¡°Maybe. But¡­ Thendra and I have Oaths traded. Neutrality and such. And that includes people I¡¯m bound to. I¡¯m pretty sure. And even if these little ones are all she cares about¡­ she has no reason to try and interfere. If anything she might step in if the Fae become a problem. These Jellyfish¡­ our children¡­ If she really does want them safe then this manor is the best place for that. And we¡¯re the perfect group to keep them safe and help them grow.¡±


    That seems to steady Lyra, help her sit up straight and start thinking before she whispers. ¡°R¨C riftwalk. F¨C fast. K¨C know th¨C that city g¨C g¨C good. C¨C can tell sl¨C slave fr¨C from o¨C others. S¨C souls h¨C hurting.¡±


    Tretion nods, but carefully.


    ¡°P¨C people th¨C there sc¨C scared of me. Sl¨C slavers too, b¨C but mostly sl¨C slaves. C¨C c¨C c¨C called m¨C me D¨C de¨C des¨C so¨C¡± She huffs. ¡°St¨C stupid name. B¨C but sc¨C scary.¡±


    ¡°And that was even before you slew that Rift¡¯s Godling.¡± Awnya nods. ¡°Now? Heh. I doubt any will think to so much as pull a blade if they can tell it¡¯s you.¡±


    ¡°With Raska and myself we can also establish another safe Rift to use as a haven. Remove the chance of the Fae simply flitting here and causing problems if needed.¡± Tretion muses.


    Awnya smirks in excitement. ¡°If Lyra¡¯s popping in and out that¡¯ll create a ton of little tears, and her¡¯s are really distinct. One or two could be followed, but dozens and dozens will fade before they could be mimicked.¡±


    ¡°My cousin Getrik¡¯s Rift was always a place that despised slavery. I avoided using it before due to fear of our conflict being brought to her. But¡­ it might work well. And It¡¯s been years since you last brought her here for a visit, Awnya.¡±


    Lyra perks up at that. ¡°B¨C big Ww¨C Watcher? F¨C from before?¡±


    ¡°Mhm.¡± Tretion nods, scoots over to take up Lyra¡¯s hand. ¡°She¡¯ll be overwhelmed to know that you¡¯re back and safe.¡±


    ¡°Always liked her.¡± Their Fae agrees. ¡°And she did beat the silence outta that cunt who was trying to follow me that one time. She¡¯ll be a perfect ally for this. If she¡¯s willing to help.¡±


    ¡°For me? For this? Definitely.¡± Their Watcher assures them.


    I consider that, glance away while thinking. ¡°I¡­ I might have some favors I could call in. Siblings and Passing Flames who¡¯s help could be bought. Maybe¡­ well. I won¡¯t promise anything, but my mums might be interested in an alliance with us. Fair chance they¡¯ll be angry as all the Dead Cinders at me for skipping away without a trace. But¡­ I could ask around. Test the embers about them.¡±


    ¡°That¡­ Could be incredibly useful. You¡¯ve always been my most reliable duenna.¡± Tretion nods thoughtfully. ¡°I¡¯d barter well for the chance to employ a soul with half your skills and devotion.¡±


    I fight down the warmth in my cheeks at her praise, but something about that and her words and soul is making Lyra blush and grin and kinda¡­ hide her face and¡­


    ¡°Yeah. And¡­ Well¡­¡± I huff and press forward. ¡°So Wren¡¯s been pestering me about talking with you again. See if you¡¯d be willing to let her help out more? I¡¯d want to keep her away from any possibility of meeting the other Fae or going outside but¡­ like¡­ she¡¯s stupid smart and really skilled and can kinda overpower me even. If she needs to.¡±


    Tretion looks to Lyra. Who nods and whispers. ¡°Sh¨C she good. Sw¨C sweet. Pr¨C pr¨C protected me. O¨C only kind.¡±


    ¡°She seems passionate, and even tempered.¡± Tretion agrees. ¡°And from the skills you described her developing did peak my curiosity. I¡¯d welcome her aid.¡±


    ¡°And lots of our old connections who settled down here will probably jump at the chance to help out.¡± Awnya adds. ¡°Most hated the idea of us just¡­ closing up and not saving more people. But understood why we had to do it after we lost so many in the raids on our settlements schemed out by two godlings.¡±


    ¡°And now you have me.¡± I grin, letting spark and eyes dance. ¡°And I¡¯ll burn any cunts who think to come after my charges. Fae, Reaver, or fucking godling.¡±

 Chapter 126: Unspoken Promise Songs, and When To Quiet Them

    <u>CW:</u>


    Pretty... clean chappy? Mostly worry over returning to abuser. And self-deprecating thoughts. Nice hugs from nice Watchers!


    ¡°There is something¡­ I want very much to ask of you.¡± Our brilliant Watcher murmurs as we stand before the outer Gateway of this wonderful manor. Wiggling head noodles all anxiously wrapping about me and constantly tightening their hold.


    After about a week of planning and talking and charting out all sorts of things¡­ It''s finally the day for the first steps. Each of us is wrapped in warm traveling clothes, and carrying a little pack on our back full of food and supplies. Everything and more we might need in case things go sideways, as our Fae puts it.


    And on the final day I¡¯ve watched as such terror has taken root and begun to grow in our Tretion. At first I thought it was just¡­ worry over outside things. And that¡¯s tangled into her, but¡­ no. Awnya and Raska are holding back to let her do this with me.


    Ask this question that terrifies her more than anything else in the Dream.


    ¡°What?¡± I whisper and squeeze the hand I¡¯ve been holding since we started walking here. Letting the softer pitch help the words come out more easily.


    ¡°Every single part of me screams that I should do it.¡± She continues. ¡°When Awnya first brought you back to me I¡­ I was planning on keeping this manor sealed for decades. Longer even. Her little trip out was already unplanned and dangerous and almost¡­ almost cost us her. Because as much as this manor has blossomed into an amazing community I never expected to enjoy¡­ she was my everything before you were returned to me.¡±


    I nibble on my lower lip, anxious wribbles threatening to bubble up but¡­ only lean into her. Nuzzle my Watcher and the Jellyfish snoozing within our souls while radiating my love for her. Wanting to let her talk through these thoughts.


    ¡°Nelops¡­ We¡¯ll always adore one another. But our love is a thing cultivated from such trauma, my Beloved. Her gaining over a dozen new lovers is everything she needs to heal. Whereas Awnya¡­ She was everything I needed. I always just assumed from that first time I witnessed you both embrace that I was simply smitten by a genuinely kind woman. But¡­ no. We melted together so easily when we found each other later.¡±


    It¡¯s so easy to see, and wonderful to watch. How much my beloveds adore each other.


    ¡°And we spent years solidifying that. Helping each other grow past our scars. Not just from losing you but¡­ our pasts. Myself more than her, thank the Bane.¡± She sighs and turns to smile down at me. ¡°But then we found out you were alive, and I got to see her before she set off to bring you back to us. I could not follow her, so I demanded she weave a Promise in Song for me.¡±


    I glance up to let her see my confusion. ¡°A¨C about what?¡±


    Tretion pulls us to sit on the soft carpets. Still holding my hand, but wanting to fully face me. ¡°That she wouldn¡¯t sacrifice herself. Not even for you. That she would return to me no matter what.¡±


    That halts all other thoughts. Jerks me to still like nothing else has ever done.


    She¡­ That makes sense. Right? Because Awnya''s... she''s amazing. So much more than me and... and I''d want her to not risk her happiness for me.


    But... Then why does that hurt so much to hear?


    ¡°Do you understand, my Beloved?¡± She whispers as she takes in my twisted expression of rising pain. ¡°That it was not a demand that lays either of you above the other in my heart? Our Awnya is clever and quick, but I needed her to be thoughtful and patient. Willing to pull away if you were lost. Or return to me so we might scheme ways to save you should you be beyond her abilities. I only asked that she do as she had done with even the most tormented soul and understand that her end would leave future ones without a savior?¡±


    I nod carefully. Thoughts wrapping about her words but¡­ like some big fruit unable to fully shove the thing inside. Especially with the messy emotions dribbling. It¡¯s all just¡­ too much to consider at once. Hurts to try. So instead I smush down all the muck of emotions and listen carefully to her next words.


    ¡°And so now, I would ask you to do the same. To Promise me, in any way you can, that you will return to us. No matter what.¡± She whispers, taking up both my hands. ¡°You¡¯re more able to break promises than her, but¡­ I wanted you to do this. For Awnya. For our children. And¡­ and most selfishly of all, for me. I cannot survive your death again. Will not. I would chase you to the edges of the Dream and beyond to have you back safe in my arms.¡±


    She almost growls those last words. Amwella and head tendrils wiggling in such determined fury. Not at me but¡­ at the memories. Of what it was like after she woke up to find me gone.


    ¡°We will see many slaves in wretched situations, possibly about to die without our intervention. You need to ignore their suffering unless our schemes envelope them. Even a single step beyond is a risk that could lead to hundreds others being left behind.¡± She explains. ¡°But¡­ I¡¯m not truly worried that you will chase after them. My worries are for another woman you wish to seek out.¡±


    If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    I wince and want to look down, stop staring into those eyes that sing of her furious love and anger at the idea that¡­ that I might return to¡­


    ¡°I want to ask, no, demand that you give myself, Awnya and our children a Promise.¡± She continues, Amwella aflame at these words. ¡°That you will not speak to, seek out, or otherwise try to communicate with Thendra or her Reavers unless both Beloveds are at your side. And if she appears, you will do everything you can to leave and return here with our children.¡±


    I bite my lower lip so hard it bleeds as the shard embedded deep within my soul feels so heavy.


    The one that lets that dark goddess read my every thought and emotion. A betrayal at the core of everything I am just¡­ left to fester.


    I open my mouth though, ready to give Tretion my everything. No matter what I have to tear free of my soul to do that.


    But as the first sounds begin to leave my lips, a finger so gently reaches up to touch my lips, stopping me.


    ¡°But¡­ I¡¯m not going to do that.¡± She whispers, and I jerk up to meet her wonderfully loving gaze. ¡°Because I need you to know that I¡­ I trust you, more than anyone save our Beloved Bound, to make the best choices you can. For us, for our children, and most importantly still... for yourself.¡±


    I want to scream. Spill out all my shame and pain and sorrows but¡­ Tretion softly adjusts to cup my cheek. And through cool scaled skin and glowing tendril gripped soul, I feel her words crystalize and hum. A soundless song that thrums for me. Proud and loving and¡­ and so very adoring of my everything.


    ¡°Just¡­ keep to the Promises you¡¯ve already made to us. Please?¡± Tears begin to dribble down her cheeks as those words leave her. ¡°Don¡¯t face the dangers we¡¯ll find beyond these walls alone. Don¡¯t let yourself come to believe that you deserve agony and abuse. All the other things I would attempt to demand of you are¡­ they¡¯re important, but not so much as that. Can you do this for me?¡±


    I lean into her touch and nod, my own tears already falling as I whisper clearly but so quietly it''s amazing that she hears me. ¡°Yes, Beloved.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so very amazed and proud and¡­ and delighted by you. And our lives are sparked anew by your return and growth. Your search for happiness is something I never want to stop being able to witness.¡± She blubbers, then pulls me forward to press lips to mine, then fully into her arms when the kiss ends. Wrapping everything she can about flesh and soul and Jellyfish.


    Letting us weep before eventually calling our Awnya and Raska back to begin our first steps outside this wonderful home.


    **    **    **


    Our Fae beats her knuckles against the door in a silly rhythmic pattern, smirks over her shoulder to us, then turns back to wait. Humming a little melody of greeting and joy and excitement while very nearly bouncing on her heels.


    We decided to let Awnya handle our first Riftwalk from the manor. Mine apparently smells weird and she¡¯d wanted to avoid problems. Because like¡­ we had to make sure everything was okay. Mostly with our Jellyfish. Which¡­ I mean of course they¡¯re fine. Snuggling closer, sure, they definitely need our warmth when outside the manor. But the worst that¡¯ll happen is they¡¯ll wiggle back into our beloved ocean, and I¡¯d go get them.


    A call from inside, and I can¡¯t help but snuggle closer into my Tretion¡¯s side.


    Then the door opens, and the big silhouette of Tretion¡¯s cousin Getrik fills it.


    ¡°Awnya!¡± She calls out almost instantly, then is sweeping forward to pull our Fae into such a hug of arms and head noodles. Even spinning her about in a circle before plopping Awnya down and chuckling out half dozen questions in a single big breath. ¡°What brings you out to my woods so early, you weren¡¯t due to visit till at least the start of the colder weather of this place. How have you¡­¡±


    But she trails off, eyes suddenly finding Tretion.


    ¡°C¨C cousin?¡± She exclaims.


    Awnya had brought Getrik to visit a few times, they¡¯d told me. Since Tretion couldn¡¯t leave and our Watcher needed the kind embrace of family amidst her mourning.


    ¡°Hello Getrik.¡± Tretion grins back, ¡°I finally cracked the problem and decided yours was the first place I¡¯d like to visit.¡±


    Her cousin is stammering something while moving past Awnya. Obviously about to pull Tretion into the biggest hug in the Dream but¡­ then her eyes flicker down to me.


    And she freezes.


    ¡°H¨C hi.¡± I manage to stammer out.


    ¡°Lyra?¡± She whispers, all eyes taking in my form and scars. Continues her movements toward us but¡­ slowly. Carefully. Almost like she can see the scary parts of me my lovers refuse to be worried about and¡­


    ¡°Yes, dear cousin.¡± Our Watcher replies, and I can feel the suddenly barely restrained tears and sobs. ¡°She¡­ she¡¯s alive. Awnya found her and brought her home.¡±


    D¨C does¡­ Oh no. Getrik¡¯s Amwella is bubbling in such oddly scary ways and twisting worse and¡­ and what if she hates me for killing my Tretion and how messed up I am and¨C


    But now she¡¯s kneeling before me now, whispering very softly. ¡°I¡­ I only got to meet you once, Beloved to my most treasured family. But I would very much like to hug you both¡­ if that is okay?¡±


    Oh. Look past to Awnya. Who is leaning against the open door frame and smiling gently. A quirked eyebrow in both support but¡­ also encouragement.


    ¡°O¨C oke.¡± I whisper, fighting to restrain the shivering terror that¡¯s still bubbling inside.


    And the hug Getrick gives us is nothing like the one she gave Awnya. It¡¯s a slow embrace that very gently envelopes. Careful and¡­ Oh.


    Then she¡¯s crying too, and I can¡¯t help but wrap my free arm and a tendril about her big soft frame and Amwella and nuzzle back. Able to read This big Watcher¡¯s soul so much easier now.


    How she gurgles and bubbles with like¡­ nothing but joy but also relief and shedding pain and¡­


    ¡°Thank you, Lyra.¡± Getrik whispers. ¡°For returning to my dearest family member. She¡­ this¡­ I¡­ I¡¯m not sure how to express just how much of a delight this is.¡±


    ¡°A lot has happened, cousin.¡± Tretion replies as Getrik trails off, hugging her back so tightly. ¡°We¡¯d love to be pulled into sharing a meal and gifting you the tale?¡±


    ¡°Yes, please. I¡¯d very much like the opportunity to play the host to my family.¡± She pulls back, nodding and wiping at her face eyes and noodle eyes. Then her gaze finds the girl behind us. ¡°And¡­ Who is this?¡±


    ¡°Name''s Raska.¡± Our Everflame replies with what I can feel is a smirk.


    ¡°She is both a duenna to me, and a very dear friend.¡± Tretion supplies. ¡°If¡­ if you would, I¡¯d ask that you treat her as you would our found family?¡±


    Our Everflame hides it well, but I can feel the flutter of joy in her core at Tretion introducing her like that.


    ¡°Of course.¡± Getrik agrees easily. ¡°But where are my manners? Dear friend to this favorite cousin, My name is Getrik. Watcher and woman of some.¡±

 Chapter 127: First Steps From And Into Old Homes

    <u>CW:</u>


    Um... pretty clean? Talking with family and scouting possible dangers. Talks with shards with links to an abuser.


    Getrik¡¯s grin is only outshone by the delighted glow of her soul as one of our Jellyfish easily works up the courage and interest to paddle across the room and nuzzle the big Watcher¡¯s soul. Not for long, especially when Getrik reaches out with one of her own soul¡¯s little extensions to try and touch our child, but¡­ when they swim back to my core only happy gurgles are made.


    ¡°I never would have expected you to be the cousin to embrace so much¡­ well, of this.¡± She sighs happily. ¡°Family of your own finding and brewing. It¡¯s wonderful to see.¡±


    ¡°Have you any word of other¡­ things?¡± Our Tretion asks carefully from behind and around me as we share a big comfy chair. ¡°Movements of the old brood or strange visitors?¡±


    Getrik tilts her head and wiggly tendrils back and forth. ¡°No more than usual. Haven¡¯t seen a Watcher since¡­ well¡­ the one time. And you know about that. And No Fae or otherwise.¡±


    Awnya sighs out a laugh, perched happily on the arm and back of the chair we sit in. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ so good to hear. Actually. Because we had a big favor to ask.¡±


    ¡°Oh?¡± Getrik raises a bemused eyebrow. ¡°I always offered my aid, so long as violence wasn¡¯t the heart of your need.¡±


    ¡°Naw, mostly just wanting to use your Rift and home as a bit of ah¡­ safe spot. To flicker about and avoid leaving a trail back to our home. After a while any songcraft we use will just kinda melt together and stop anyone from using them to track us, but¡­ till then we¡¯d like a friendly place to figure things out.¡±


    ¡°That, I would be delighted to offer.¡± She grins, nodding head and tendrils. ¡°I¡¯ve never been able to host either of you, even after all these years. Which is quite the shame see as how much effort I put into making this place comfortable.¡±


    ¡°We should have another place picked out before we start gathering the former slaves of Theradas, to be sure.¡± Tretion supplies.


    ¡°Nonsense.¡± Getrik refutes. ¡°Let me gift you all stones of passage so my internal wards will let you pass, and you can bring them here before moving them back to your Manor.¡±


    ¡°You¡­ you got the Riftwards up?¡± Awnya¡¯s Golden eyes go wide in surprise. ¡°When?¡±


    ¡°Two years past, and only for inside my manor.¡± She grins, ¡°But, if you bear stones of passage tuned to them, I doubt even a Fae¡¯s troublesome abilities will be able to slip past.¡±


    ¡°But¡­ Getrik.¡± Tretion says carefully. ¡°We¡¯ll possibly attract worse sorts than Fae, and even your things of protection will struggle if they track us to this Rift. I¡­ I do not wish to place you in the path of violence.¡±


    The big Watcher leans forward, ¡°Cousin, this is different. I¡­ wish I had offered more in years past. You are all my family, and you mean to walk a path that bears little to no reward except the violence others will offer. And only then if they attempt to crack into my home.¡±


    ¡°It¡­ would create a tricky web of protection.¡± Awnya muses. ¡°One we can even test and measure. Both with my Riftwalking song and Lyra¡¯s.¡±


    Tretion huffs and wraps about me in thought. ¡°At least let me see about laying some additional protections. Fortify your home for this, and after if someone comes sniffing for us.¡±


    ** ** **


    It¡¯s¡­ in the quiet one night amidst our time at Getrik¡¯s that I face the thing I¡¯ve been terrified to think about. The¡­ the betrayal I never told my lovers about, and the danger I hope never bubbles up.


    Please, stay away? I beg, having nudged our children to tumble into my Beloved¡¯s souls before crawling away. Not far. Just to sit at the foot of the bed. But¡­


    The Fuzzy Spirit watches me. I was worried that it would be upset when I did this. Or mad when it understood what I¡¯d let my Dark Goddess lay deep inside me. But it radiates just¡­ more love. More understanding. Reflecting my hopes back at me alongside other scarier promises to help keep everyone safe.


    It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s like they said. I growl after a moment to the dark shard settled deep within my soul. If you hurt them, or our children, I¡¯ll never forgive you. Probably try to kill you.


    As always, there¡¯s no reply. But I can almost see her smirk at my threats, like the time so long ago when I demanded she not hurt Awnya. Amused that I would think my threats are anything but what she¡¯s expected.


    I know you don¡¯t love me. But Undreka said that you love them. And¡­ and you told me what that does to people we care about. How that love can hurt them. Awnya and Tretion think that¡¯s cruel and stupid and you were just trying to control me but¡­ but I get it. I think?


    The Fuzzy Fae grumbles in wary warning at that. Nudging me with its own adorations and soft affections in gentle protest.


    I grumble and nuzzle it back before turning back to the shard. Fine. Maybe I agree that it seems wrong, that you were probably just¡­ just using the right words to keep me from giving up on living. But I NEED you to stay away from us when we come back to Theradas and start to gather up people, okay? Maybe only¡­ only not if the Fae try something stupid? Get in our way?


    Nibble on my lower lip, careful to keep my sea-bed¡¯s wriggling worry and anxiety to not bubble up loudly.


    Not in danger. Not breaking my promises!


    In return I¡­ Deep Breath. I¡¯ll come find you. At the end. I can¡¯t ever give you another Sunrise. But¡­ but I want to see you. To say things and hear your explanations, before leaving forever to be with my Beloveds and Jellyfish. We¡¯ll keep them safe. Give them a wonderful home and mothers and¡­ and help them get bodies if they want!


    Please? Just¡­ please? Let us have this happiness?


    ** ** **


    ¡°Alright.¡± Our Fae grins, taking up my hand. ¡°When you¡¯re ready, say it all back to me. Then we¡¯ll pop there and back.¡±


    Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    I nod, and take a few minutes to force out the words.


    No distractions. In. Look around. Let her know what I sense. Then out. Our disguises and her songs of hiding will keep us safe and unseen while I figure out what I can feel. Be ready to tell them everything when we get back.


    Slow. We¡¯re taking this very slow. Can¡¯t risk anyone. Our happiness is more important than anything else. But not trying here would be against everything we are!


    ¡°If we see anyone on the list?¡± Raska asks from my other side.


    Run. Shift about Theradas, then go to our in-between spots. Places I¡¯d already sung little pockets of safety amidst the Blight¨Cdrowning Rifts. Then come back here.


    Awnya nods. ¡°And¡­ who all is on the list?¡±


    The Fae. Of course. Anyone who seems to notice her songs or us beneath them. And¡­ and her. The big cunt. Or Bulderii. Or any Reavers that seem to notice us. Point out other stronger souls of interest too.


    Awnya nods. Then looks over to where Tretion and Getrik sit. ¡°Aaaand¡­ You all?¡±


    Tretion¡¯s tendrils still wribble in worry over this split in our group, but she replies. ¡°We wait here for your return. Of course.¡± Motions to the notebooks and maps. ¡°When you all return we¡¯ll begin to gather a census from Lyra¡¯s observations of the city proper.¡±


    Awnya sighs, ¡°Yeah, but like¡­ if things go sideways. We don¡¯t make it back here right-quick?¡±


    ¡°We go back to the manor. Then I¡¯m going to look for you myself.¡± Our Watcher gestures to one of the maps. ¡°Starting with the agreed upon locations and in disguise. Duenna Drtipho waits in the manor¡¯s entrance to come with us, and Wren will take up his post. If I can¡¯t find you, I''ll retrieve Yuna and have her take us to the Fae Woods to look.¡±


    Don¡¯t think about her. We¡­ I¡¯ve put off seeing her, and prossibly the others. Sevy and Zephin don¡¯t worry me like¡­ too much but also it¡¯s going to be a mess and I need to focus on this. On¡­ on keeping everyone safe! Coming home!


    Jellyfish wriggle and snuggle close. We¡¯ve thought about leaving them all with like¡­ one person or two people but¡­ that feels wrong. Even with my worries about more Spirits popping up and the worry about them fumbling things. My Fuzzy Fae has kinda promised to handle the rest alone after how bad the memories hurt last time but¡­ I hated that. Told it that we¡¯d fight or scare any and all of them off together! Nuzzled it so much until it calmed down and agreed. Bristling in all the things. Some bad but¡­ most good.


    And all love for me and our Jellyfish and our family.


    ¡°Good. Perfect.¡± Awnya grins. ¡°And if things all fall apart we¡¯ll improvise. Just¡­ remember our promises.¡±


    More hugs, kisses, and assurances. Then we adjust our clothes to cover faces, let Awnya wibble out a song of hiding that¡¯ll stick to us through my Reaver¡¯s Riftwalk, Take up her and Raska¡¯s hands, and¡­


    The Curse¡¯s sting is annoying, but familiar. Almost comfortable and reassuring. And testing things with my weird Riftwalking has helped me get used to the melody after so long of it being smothered by the Manor.


    First to a little in-between place. A pocket to trip up anyone who might be able to follow my songs. Then¡­


    I¡¯m home.


    Wait. What? No.


    ¡°Lyra?¡±


    Wonderfully wretched spice fills my nose as I stand with Awnya and Raska upon a little roof I was pretty sure would be abandoned. Naranggas flex out and wribble against the warm sandstone tiles beneath us. Amwella singing with the quiet tune I feel buzzing across everything and everyone through my Rift as¨C


    ¡°Beloved.¡±


    I blink. Meet the gaze of the wonderful Fae who''s taken my face into her hands and stares at me in worry. Whisper softly. ¡°Muh?¡±


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± She asks.


    I nod and squeeze her soul a little to feel her love and worry and steady focus. ¡°Oke. J¨C just¡­ lots of f¨C feelings. A¨C all at O¨C once.¡±


    Raska stepped past her. Spark swallowed but glowing eyes glimmering as the Everflame looks all about the city.


    ¡°Alright. Yeah. Anything we should worry about?¡±


    I close my eyes.


    Focus. No distractions!!!


    Jellyfish and Fuzzy Fae nuzzle close, but go still. Letting me reach out and consider¡­


    But it¡¯s so hard to ignore that song beneath everything! It¡¯s¡­ like it¡¯s messy and horrid but it feels kinda perfect? And¡­ and it¡¯s like when I¡¯d drink that vile brew but without the pain or drowning too-much of it all! I can feel SO many souls! Scurrying about the city and sands like little bugs. Start to understand their emotions and considerations and¡­


    Oh.


    ¡°F¨C f¨C Fae.¡± I whisper.


    Over a dozen. Some close together and some prowling or perched beneath their own songs of hiding. Looking for¡­ something? Me?


    Awnya goes stiff, song of hiding intensifying as she hums into the melody. ¡°Where?¡±


    ¡°N¨C not¡­ No s¨C see us.¡± I murmur as I focus on them. ¡°Just¡­ Ev¨C ever¨C e¨C where. Hiding. Lo¨C loo¨C looking.¡±


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­ that¡­ okay.¡± She huffs, glances back to Raska and her settling anticipation to burn. ¡°Makes sense. Anything else?¡±


    ¡°N¨C no R¨C r¨C Reavers.¡±


    That makes her pause. ¡°Think they scooted off to let the city die?¡±


    Shake my head. ¡°N¨C no. Can¡¯t f¨C f¨C feel ins¨C side home. F¨C fae a¨C are close. W¨C watching. W¨C waiting t¨C to p¨C pounce.¡±


    Awnya nods carefully. ¡°Yeah. This¡­ huh. This could actually be a good distraction. Actually. Them all focused on the big cunt¡¯s home and trying to ignore the wretched things happening around them. If we can keep your soul shrouded¡­ Yeah. You feeling them so easily will make this simpler.¡±


    Can¡¯t help but bubble a soft thank you to the shard deep within my Amwella at the idea that¡­ that she¡¯s maybe helping us¡­


    A pause, then Raska murmurs. ¡°And that old Watcher¡¯s Manor? How about in there?¡±


    I focus. Trying to¡­ to remember where it was. Hiss at what I feel.


    ¡°Lyra?¡±


    ¡°F¨C fae. In¨C inside. C¨C can f¨C feel R¨C r¨C ro¡­ Ga¨C gate.¡±


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits. They¡¯re in the old Manor and found the Rorliras?¡±


    I nod.


    Raska snarls. ¡°How easy could Fae use that place? Could they follow the path that Reaver took?¡±


    Look deeper. Try and¡­ and understand what these Fae are feeling. What they might be finding or¡­


    ¡°Thendra¡¯s brood always¡­ just smelled like Theradas.¡± Awnya huffs. ¡°I¡¯d guess they just mean to try and close it up but¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not a no.¡± Raska murmurs.


    ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s not.¡± Awnya sighs, looks at me. ¡°We should leave. Plan our next steps. Make sure they can¡¯t spill into the manor while we¡¯re away. Lyra, you ready?¡±


    In answer, I grab up Raska and Awnya¡¯s hands, take a breath and¡­ the song is easy. But¡­ pulling away from Theradas is kinda hard. Feels¡­ I dunno. Like my feet and heart and tendrils are sinking into mud. My everything taking a deep breath like I¡¯m about to plunge into a river. I both hate it and want to stop and snuggle deeper into the muck.


    But I keep my promise and skip us through the safety of some abandoned Rifts, and then we¡¯re back at Getrik¡¯s home. Tumbling happily into our Watcher¡¯s arms.


    ¡°Was simple.¡± Awnya is saying. ¡°But¡­ apparently there are quite a few Fae lurking about. Keeping watch on Thendra¡¯s home while also looking for Lyra.¡±


    ¡°That makes sense.¡± Tretion nods, pulling my head wrappings away and tugging me to sit with her in a big chair. ¡°The attack in the Fae Wood would have scared them, and Undreka did mention that they freed the one hunting you. She¡¯s being taken more seriously now.¡±


    ¡°C¨C could¡­¡± I murmur. ¡°F¨C feel.¡±


    ¡°What else?¡±


    ¡°And¡­ The Fae were buzzing about your dead Grandmother¡¯s old home. Poking at the Rorliras.¡± Awnya hops up to perch on the arm. ¡°There is a chance Undreka left a scent but¡­ I think it¡¯s a bit of a long shot. Those tunnels were a mess to navigate even for us, and we¡¯d been pretty familiar with the tricks. A bunch of Fae without experience will be stumbling about for weeks, at least, unless they know what they¡¯re doing. And even then I think they¡¯ll just try to close it. That place does tunnel to other Rifts and when Theradas sinks¡­ the Blight could flow through.¡±


    Our Watcher nods, Amwella really not super worried. Just¡­ annoyed as she sighs. ¡°I¡¯ll have the Manor be prepared to neutralize anything that tries to slip or sneak in. But¡­ Honestly that somewhat feels the most expected of things. What else?¡±


    Everything. I tell them how everything was so clear. About the brew I used to drink and how it made things like that but with pain and except there was no pain this time! And¡­ and the song. The buzzy mucky melody that felt like it was inside everything and everyone there. How it was hard to leave.


    ¡°If your mantle is tied to Theradas¡­ that could be part of the link.¡± Tretion muses. Already passed me into Awnya¡¯s arms while she writes things down. ¡°We¡¯ll consider it closely as we work. But even if the worst should happen and you struggle to leave and the Rift sinks¡­¡±


    ¡°Bl¨C blighted O¨C ocean.¡± I giggle and grin. ¡°C¨C can swim home.¡±


    That makes her tendrils wiggle in such worry but¡­ also relief.


    ¡°Yes.¡± She nods, Amwella twisting into a thing of a loving promise threat. ¡°And if you don¡¯t, I will discover how to Tune myself to survive that sea and come find you myself.¡±

 Chapter 128: Like Pests to A Corpse

    <u>CW:</u>


    Snatching up slaves for freedom. Talk of implied threats of depersonalization and sort of detransitioning.


    It took one the bigger and scarier Fae souls to notice me when I was snatching up our 232nd slave. Small and fuzzy and coming my way sort of¡­ like my mom¡¯s brumble wasps do when she brings a new flower to her garden.


    We¡¯d kept to the outer Rifts and lowest levels of this place first. The tunnels and pathways beneath Theradas. Places where we could use the tight space to let the walls block and muffle any songs. Awnya weaving melodies of hiding and calm and sleep while I focus my Riftwalking to bounce all about and snatch up slaves like I used to do for Furthonois, then bring them back to her and Raska.


    It¡¯s¡­ been easy. Actually. Except when it''s time to leave. But even that¡¯s only a little nibble at my mind now.


    Smells like¡­ No.


    Not home.


    But it does though!?!


    Ever since Thendra brought me here I¡¯ve always enjoyed the Spiced scent of this city.


    We¡­ Well, I don¡¯t like to think about what that means.


    I¡¯m shrouded in my own heavy song of hiding and sleep for the bug in my arms. But¡­ my Amwella is so big and not all of it fits when I need to carry another soul through my Riftwalk like this, so I know the Fae sees something as I shift to my second target.


    And¡­ While Awnya told me that the spice in the air tends to cover up my smelly Riftwalks, that¡¯s only if someone isn¡¯t looking for it or too near.


    This Fae is, and as I¡¯m pulling my third and final person close. I feel them slipping quietly through a Rift of their own.


    Stupid. Amwella all burning with interest and so sure that I don¡¯t feel it lurking behind. Not necessarily going to pounce on me but¡­ thinking about it. As they sense Awnya¡¯s little songs and probably smell all the Riftwalks I¡¯ve done and maybe even Raska, that changes. They start to turn. Planning on running. Stepping back through their Riftwalk to go sing about us to the others.


    And¡­ we all agreed on what to do if this happens.


    Naranggas slips from the song of misdirections and shadows and hidden scary things like a brumble of snakes. Twisting about the Fae¡¯s Amwella before they can even flinch. Caught and ready to be killed before even realizing that they were not the hunter.


    Warm soul so soft and squishy and easy to prick and bite as they squirm, falling to knees and whimpering out a wordless little songless thing of growing terror. So surprised that going melty just¡­ doesn¡¯t work. My soul creates a net all about their Amwella that tightens the more this Fae squirms.


    Such a neat and fun trick I¡¯d been perfecting in little play squabbles with the Fuzzy Spirit.


    ¡°Out.¡± I spit. More¡­ a guttural thing than a word. But it makes Awnya and Raska know exactly what we need to do.


    Gather up those we¡¯ve saved. Get ready to leave. Right now. No hesitations.


    I¡¯m growling my Riftwalk to swirl about them both and the now freed slaves and this new Fae captive. Melody of Blight Weaving on my lips just in case our bubble in the middle Rifts have dribbled or popped.


    They haven¡¯t, of course. My Blight shapings keep to the forms I ask for, and within a few quick hops and tuggings at the bubbles to close behind us we¡¯re back at Getrik¡¯s home.


    ¡°Matron, we got a Fae.¡± Raska hisses before we¡¯ve barely touched the wooden floor.


    Everything is a buzz of motion around us. Getrik and helpers from the manor waiting to greet and calm and help the newly freed adjust and understand. An entire song with nearly a decade of work behind it!


    All to try and help save others like me. The girl they thought they lost.


    ¡°Heya.¡± Awnya says. First to move over and kneel before the Fae I still grip tight in my Naranggas.


    They wriggle a bit, eyes seeming to finally calm as they look about the room though.


    ¡°Hey!¡± I give them another poke to still them. ¡°P¨C pay at¨C atten¨C atten¨C attention!¡±


    That makes them still.


    Awnya raises a hand to me, soul bubbling a request to let her do the talking. ¡°My name''s Awnya, One of Ganzorig¡¯s kids. Can¡¯t say I recognize you. Can I get your name?¡±


    Their fur bristles, but they do murmur. ¡°Heklis.¡±


    ¡°Neat. So. First tunes first.¡± Our Fae nods with her honest smirk to them. ¡°We¡¯re not gonna kill ya. Just¡­ give you a new home for a bit.¡±


    The Fae¡¯s deep blue-green eyes narrow at that, but they do not say anything else.


    ¡°No torture either. Lyra here will poke ya if you try to sing. Shake ya a bit till ya quiet down. But nothing permanent.¡± Awnya adds. ¡°We¡¯ll have questions later. But for now we¡¯d like to make sure all these folks get where they''re going. Can you do yourself a favor and keep your fuzzy tits calm till we do that? We¡¯ll get you some good food and a soft place to sit till then.¡±


    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    A pause, then the Fae looks between Awnya and me. I¡¯m still wearing my spooky goose head wrappings and know they can¡¯t see my glare. So I squeeze them a bit more and they nod.


    Awnya winces, Amwella dribbling with memories of¡­


    No. This¡­ I mean¡­ She¡­


    ¡°Hey.¡± She sighs and moves to pull me into a hug. ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits. This is nothing like then. Just¡­ she was the only other one I¡¯d seen do that.¡±


    Me and Thendra grabbing and keeping her soul squeezed so tight she couldn¡¯t sing.


    Deep breath. Nod. ¡°Oke.¡±


    The next hour is a bustle of everyone doing things while I sit with the Fae captive off in the corner. Raska stands at my side. Core all writhing in angry ways.


    We gave the Fae some food, which they poke at but didn¡¯t even nibble on. Nor do they speak. Just¡­ watching. Feeling. Every bit or so testing at the tendrils wrapped about them but not like¡­ trying to go melty or run off.


    Then, after everyone¡¯s been shuffled through Awnya¡¯s Riftwalk to the Manor, and been taken off to their new communities, Tretion returns and nods at us as Awnya comes back.


    Our Fae steps up and tells our captive to follow. Heklis doesn¡¯t struggle, but I feel their soul all a whirl in worry and confusion as they obey and follow. Let us lead them to a door and nudge them into a room.


    ¡°Greetings, Heklis of the Fae.¡± Our Watcher greets. ¡°My name is Matron Tretion, Watcher and keeper of this Manor.¡±


    They glance between her and Awnya and Raska and me as I pull more of the ugly clothes off my face.


    ¡°What is to be my end?¡± They ask.


    ¡°Not a clue.¡± Awnya smirks, ¡°But¡­ Your future is pretty simple. We¡¯re going to keep you here until we finish snatching up all the slaves of Theradas and her sister Rifts. Safe and probably pretty bored. Then we¡¯ll decide together what Promise songs we can squeeze from ya.¡±


    Raska¡¯s core and all her Sparks growl at that. But¡­ she doesn¡¯t show it outwardly.


    There is a reason we need to avoid killing this Fae, at least right now.


    ¡°Why?¡± They hiss.


    Amwella all but screams what they think the answer might be.


    I sigh and nudge their soul. ¡°No. N¨C not g¨C going t¨C to do that.¡±


    They jerk to a halt. Seem to already understand how easy it is for me to read their thoughts. Look me up and down and consider all they see. Eyes that previously disregarded our Jellyfish as just more dangerous parts of me turning more curious.


    ¡°Do what?¡± Awnya asks.


    Tretion chuckles mirthlessly, easily understanding. ¡°You thought our Beloved would¡­ what? Eat them? Is just gathering thousands of otherwise helpless souls for consumption? No, Heklis, we seek to save them. Both from their former abusers and the Rift as it sinks.¡±


    They consider that. Look me over. Amwella roiling in confusions and conflictions.


    ¡°There¡­ is a lot going on here.¡± They begin slowly. ¡°Songs you''re attempting to weave, and melodies beneath and behind. Things you don''t hear or understand, perhaps?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Awnya agrees. ¡°Look, Heklis, we¡¯ve never met and I stopped talking with other Fae almost ten years back because of how the elders treated Lyra. But I don¡¯t recognize you, and they¡¯d not trust some young Fae to travel to Theradas. Much less to try and track someone they think is a spooky goose.¡±


    They smirk and bubble a bit at Awnya¡¯s final words, then nod. ¡°No. I am older than any elder you¡¯ve likely met. Although¡­ I normally keep to the deepest and more cruel places of the forests. But you are correct.¡±


    ¡°Guessing the Tiger Huntress we¡¯ve met was the same?¡±


    They nod.


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ She seemed pretty¡­ different. Could shift her form all about quick as she likes and smelled of blood.¡± Awnya presses. ¡°Is that¡­ your melody too?¡±


    A shrug.


    Awnya sighs. ¡°Look, Heklis. This Manor can house all of these saved people. Every single soul. And after that we mean to seal up and ignore the wider Rifts for decades. If not longer.¡±


    They eye her in disbelief. ¡°A Fae trapped within these halls will struggle to handle the songless echoes for long. Will yearn for the forest or go quiet eventually.¡±


    ¡°Which is why we¡¯ve had this place freely growing Groves tended to by Fae.¡±


    They jerk up at that.


    ¡°Yup.¡± Awnya smirks. ¡°Kinda like a little Rift in a bottle. Cramped at times, but cozy.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve enticed this beast to¡­¡± They stop. Ear¡¯s twitching and eyes darting all about the little room. ¡°Even Watcher¡¯s and all their observations would do nothing but let you know how to keep this thing placated.¡±


    But their focus is already on me. On what they worry I¡¯ve done to control this wonderful Manor. The curses they think could ever stick to such a slippery friend.


    ¡°My family, and I for many years, did barely that.¡± Our Watcher nods and offers carefully. ¡°It was a stronghold for a brood of monsters. But then Lyra captured its affections, and Awnya followed and gifted it her songs. Now it holds close and adores thousands of freed slaves and weaves them safe homes.¡±


    ¡°Fire stolen from the Dream, to burn anew elseways.¡± The Fae shakes their head.


    ¡°That¡¯s one way to take it. But¡­ Look, we''re guessing you know about where Lyra swam here from?¡±


    ¡°Outside the Dream.¡± They whisper. Such an odd mix of emotions at that. Fear and hope. Disbelief and curiosity. Other things too. Mostly bad and kinda¡­ predator wiggling. ¡°And¡­ The Fae see opportunity in this.¡±


    ¡°The Huntress almost said something like that.¡± Awnya nods. ¡°What was she on about?¡±


    ¡°Plans to put this new flame to use, without wasting or risking the old.¡± Heklis shrugs. ¡°Removal of her godling''s mantle, then an attempt to have her flame be cultivated into a new Fae Wood.¡±


    We all go still at that. And such a¡­ a whirlwind of emotions bubbles from my lovers.


    Any curiosity from Awnya quickly popped and dribbling anger and our Watcher is openly glaring.


    And¡­ well Raska finally whispers so softly. ¡°What.¡±


    But the Fae is too stupid to see that her cold stare is barely controlling the blaze catching in her soul. Keeps talking like their words should make everything better. ¡°The Dream is fading, but with this new Amwella purged of her Blight¡­ through it we could see a new age of Cultivated life. Your songs here seem woven from good intentions, but those you''re bringing here still bear the infection of the Rot and Ruin. More than others even. This place will become a mirror of Theradas eventually. But if the Blight Weaver surrenders or is captured, they can re-knit her Amwella into¨C¡±


    I¡¯m not really sure what all that means. But from everyone''s reactions I can¡¯t help but let a bundle of bile and sick bubble in my tummy. How much it reminds me of when other Fae talked about taking away my songs and form.


    Raska rolls forward a step, hissing spicy sounding words that cut off Heklis¡¯ babble. But I flinch pretty hard and she stops, eyes me with a twisty expression all wribbled with pain and guilt at something she sees in my eyes.


    Before I can think about it I¡¯m across the room and wrapping fingers through hers and tendril tight about this Everflame¡¯s soul. Squeezing in hopefully calm ways while she freezes and Core mupples out. Guilt all mucky and dribbling to smother her anger into new shapes. Especially as I lean into her and she basically can¡¯t stop herself from wrapping an arm around me.


    She eventually manages to rasp out a painful, ¡°Sorry.¡± As the room stills.


    ¡°So¡­ No.¡± Awnya growls to the Fae at our feet, soul boiling with her own angers. ¡°To all of that. Ever. Dreamer¡¯s Tits. But it¡¯s good to know the shape of their plans so we can be sure to avoid the Fae all the more now.¡±

 Chapter 129: And Like Corpses to New Flames

    <u>CW:</u>


    Soul wribbles? Saving children from slavery. Soul fighting and angry and trapped and talk of drowning. Mhm. Two big cruel predators tackling a little gal and threating to hurt her.


    I drag my talons along the crumbling sandstone of the thick railing that separates this upper level from a long fall downward. Squinting eyes out over the midnight colored sands of the desert beyond.


    This¡­ really really tall tower thing on the edge of the city of Theradas has kinda been the best spot to work from.


    From what I could read of their souls, the people using this place before us were basically runaway slaves. Not super nice, and plenty willing to hurt others, but¡­ Awnya insisted they might have not had any other good options and we would treat them kinda like Undreka. Adopt them into the manor and try to help them heal into better people.


    Now we have the twenty-two levels to ourselves, and use the second to top one as the gathering place where I drop off the souls I snatch up now.


    The Fae are¡­ all a mess. They¡¯ve gotten three more spooky goose souls, as Awnya calls them. Big and scary and kinda dribbling with a desire to hunt. But¡­ They don¡¯t seem to know what happened to Heklis. My Riftwalk¡¯s scent seems to have already melted away by the time they tracked where their lost Fae went, and now all these souls seem to bubble in fear at the monsters in the city. Even sent a few more Fae to watch Thendra¡¯s manor.


    And with just how fast the little echoes of my smelly Riftwalk fade¡­ Awnya and Tretion seem pretty sure they don¡¯t know we¡¯re here. All the slaves they might be hearing talks disappearing just the outcome of more cruel things being done to people they don¡¯t want to worry about.


    ¡°Alright.¡± Awnya calls while walking up to stand at my side. ¡°You good to start pulling in the next batch?¡±


    I turn back and give her a nod and a grin. Then begin adjusting hood and scarf to cover my eyes and face.


    Raska stands close, Amwella focused and bubbling in such harmonic patterns as she watches me and Awnya and this tower and everything she can. Her 5 flames, as she calls the extra flickers of thoughtpaths within herselves, beginning to wiggle together like never before. All of them seem to enjoy when I hug their soul and want to keep me safe.


    In this past week of trips after capturing Hekliss we¡¯ve kinda all just¡­ collapsed into bed together. Either at Getrik¡¯s or back in the Manor. All of us so exhausted and filled with relief at another bundle of souls saved while also worried about the coming days'' dangers.


    And while I am still always flinching in worry at the shadow beneath and behind my soul¡­ no more spirits have bubbled up. And with so many other things to worry about and my Fuzzy Fae spirit radiating promises, I¡¯ve started to relax a little. Sleeping better and pushing away the memories I don¡¯t want. Focusing on the loving souls I snuggle to every night, our Jellyfish, and the happiness we¡¯re building together.


    ¡°Any changes?¡± Raska asks.


    ¡°Sh¨C shifting.¡± I reply. ¡°A b¨C bit. M¨C moving th¨C through S¨C south tunnels. Qu¨C questioning p¨C people.¡±


    ¡°How fast?¡± Awnya asks.


    I shake my head. ¡°Sl¨C slow. Spread out. B¨C but guarding. N¨C not m¨C moving.¡±


    ¡°What about the scarier ones? They always wander off.¡± Raska pressed.


    ¡°Also sl¨C slow. C¨C careful. C¨C can avoid.¡±


    She doesn''t like that. But¡­


    ¡°She can outpace them.¡± Awnya replies. ¡°Hekliss didn¡¯t even know this was Lyra till she already had them back at the house. Even if they see her snatch a soul they¡¯ll think her just some predator so long as she keeps her hiding song going.¡±


    I¡¯m getting really good at it. My old silly sneaking son was already strong when I was hunting for Thendra, and I didn¡¯t need it very often. But now that staying hidden is everything? I¡¯ve slowly learned to wrap all my Amwella inside it. Only a few tendrils will slip out and even that¡¯s only when I¡¯m holding 2-3 people!


    And while my Curse still bites pretty bad sometimes¡­ my soul is just so big now! I can go all day singing my Riftwalks and hiding songs before needing to rest and recover. And like always my Amwella is totally healed and ready to sing the next morning!


    Raska¡¯s core wriggles a bit, 5 Flames considering that with her. ¡°Yeah. Fair enough. Alright girl. Keep your loads small. Don¡¯t risk more than you can carry. Those Fae see even a glint of your full Amwella and we lose our stealth.¡±


    ¡°Mhm! N¨C no risks. C¨C careful. Sneaky.¡± I move up to wrap a hug of soul and layered body about her. Whisper so the words are clear. ¡°Stay safe. Oke?¡±


    She huffs out a laugh and squeezes me back. ¡°Same to you girl.¡±


    After another tighter hug for my Fae and the Jellyfish that nap nuzzled to her soul, and I¡¯m enduring a little bite of the curse to start the work.


    First three are close together. Huddled in a side passage and chained together. So I add a little song of asking the metal to stop holding them as I tug us along through a Shift back to the tower. Drop them into Awnya¡¯s waiting melody and move to the next bundle.


    Two in a kitchen of some kind cooking something tasty. Snatch them up and drop them off.


    Three little ones playing on a rooftop. No Amwella sparked but a nice trio of parents we freed yesterday asked me to make sure and grab their kids so like¡­ of course they¡¯re next! Was worried about finding people without souls but¡­ I manage. It''s not hard to follow their directions and leave them safe in my Fae¡¯s song woven net. Then Shift back over to¡­


    Stolen story; please report.


    Hmmm¡­ That¡¯s¡­ like¡­ there are more running about. Little ones without sparks and pretty much ignored by most of the scary monsters due to their lack of Amwella to eat. And when I focus really hard I¡­ I can¡­


    Sense a weight.


    Huh. The Dream or some such getting ready to spark inside them?


    Weird. But¡­ also good because now I know what to look for! Without Amwella they¡¯re actually way easier to carry back to our tower!


    Try to also get their parents if I can sense some matching wribbles but¡­ most seem to be alone and kinda fending for themselves. Awnya¡¯s getting a bit overwhelmed though. This is a bigger group than we planned for now and her Amwella is humming in worry about the weight of it all.


    ¡°V¨C very light.¡± I assure her and kinda wrap the sleepy calm group in a big hug with her. ¡°O¨C out time.¡±


    She nods through her song, and I pull us through.


    Skip through a bubble in a smelly Rift, then tumble backways into Getrik¡¯s manor.


    The little ones are recovering quicker than the others. Glancing about and still deciding if they should feel safe or start to panic. Buuut¡­ our brilliant Watcher and Nelops are there and calling out to the ones whose parents we got and that seems to help them tilt toward better feelings.


    Quick and easy, they¡¯re through to the manor and Raska and Awnya and I are Riftwalking back to Theradas again. Another couple hugs, and I¡¯m off.


    Shifting and slipping and growling my songs of hunting. Snatching up prey and dropping them back with my beloved and our Everflame. Then we have the most I can push through a Riftwalk, let them get taken to the manor. Help Awnya with that Riftwalk too since she¡¯s getting a little tired and then we¡¯re back and doing it all over again.


    And again. Too many times for me to count, although our Brilliant Watcher has given me numbers that kinda just feel too big to imagine.


    That¡¯s¡­ Why I missed it. I think?


    Pausing atop some high point in the city to feel everything and everyone and who to save next and letting myself enjoy the spiced scent. Hood and face cover have slipped down enough so that my eyes are free to open and dance across the pretty midnight colored sand and buildings and twinkling sky and the horizon and the trees I can see in the distance and¡­


    Wait. Trees? A forest?


    Squint, look harder at the things at the farthest horizon. Soft brumbly shapes that sparkle with new colors?


    Shift out into the desert past the city. Atop another big rock. Just a quick peek to understand what I¡¯m seeing. Not getting distracting. Not alone. Looking at something the could be a thing my Beloveds need to know and staying well away from anyone who might want to hurt or capture me.


    Pull all the cloth away from my face so I can get a better look. The spiced smell hits me before anything else. So much stronger here that within the city. Mingled with the sand and the winds and¡­


    What? Dreamer¡¯s Tits is¡­ is that¡­ is that really a forest?


    I stare for a while. Breathing deeply and trying to understand what I¡¯m seeing.


    But nothing grows like that out here! It¡¯s too dry and hot and I¡¯ve almost never seen it rain!


    Make sure no Amwella is anywhere nearby, and shift closer. Jellyfish coo and titter in their own curiosity. The growing spice is filling us with some deep emotions I¡­ Like I¡¯ve been here before. Which I haven¡¯t?


    R¨C right?


    Thendra never took us here. Always stayed in the tunnels beneath the sands or a new Rift entirely when she wanted quiet places to train me.


    So¡­ Why¡­?


    Fuzzy Fae is purring¡­ something. Not words but¡­ worry? Trying to tell me something?


    That makes me stop just after one more Shift closer. Turn my focus inward to the mebe places and it¡¯s bristling from.


    No distractions. Right. Sorry. I huff and nuzzle it back. Awnya and Raska are probably starting to worry.


    It rumbles agreement as I focus. Take a step back and¡­ And feel the shadows beneath and behind my soul bubble. Then begin to pop with screams.


    Another spirit swimming close through the pitch.


    Gotta get back! We¡­ we planned for this!


    Fuzzy Fae twists out and around us. Fur solidly between my Jellyfish, me, and the bubbling shadows as I begin to push through the curse¡¯s sting to weave myself a Shift back to Awnya and Raska so we can get this group back home and¡­


    And it shatters and falls apart. Fingers don¡¯t break like they used to, but¡­ I¡¯m on my knees and hissing at the curse¡¯s sting and the surprise and failure and¡­ and the fear.


    Stupid. It¡¯s fine. We¡¯re fine. Just¡­ keep trying.


    And so I do. Jellyfish gurgling in worry at my sea-bed as it writhes in pain at the Curse¡¯s bite and the fear at the song just¡­ not working! Getting smushed or smothered or¡­


    Pulled deeper.


    Drowned.


    The idea makes my everything go cold.


    Shadows keep bubbling. Keep screaming. Something is swimming near and now I¡¯m worried my messy broken songs are drawing it closer!


    So I stop even trying to run and instead wrap my Naranggas close. Nuzzle my thoughts to my Fuzzy Fae Spirit and fill the mebe parts of our soul with furious Reaver instincts as we wait to see what comes up from the pitch.


    Ready to pounce and tear this new threat to pieces.


    Another howl, followed by a twisting and pulsing of the shadows.


    Then they explode out in a hissing spitting mess of angry violence. Looking like a wigglie mess of arms and teeth and a long tail slapping all around.


    Takes us a second to realize that there are three spirits. And that they¡¯re ignoring us completely while tumbling around.


    The biggest one has four arms, seven clawed and taloned fingers on each hand, spines all running down its body. The second is almost as big, and is all long and scaled and has really big talons with mouths on the palms. And between them is um¡­ their pinning a smaller one while biting and striking and howling wordlessly cruel laughter. The one below writhes and twists and tries to escape but¡­ finds herself too small and too weak to get free as this bigger and meaner one begins to¡­ to¡­


    Pause, the two look around in surprise. The biggest then turns to me and¡­ and¡­


    Six blazing red eyes drink my everything in. Followed soon by a grin of twinkling teeth dripping with spirit flame and hunger. Then it whispers with half of a familiar voice that makes my skin crawl. [Little Fae¡­?]


    I¡­ I know this spirit. But how is that possible!?! I don¡¯t remember it!


    ¡°Wh¨C who¡­?¡± I stammer, taking a step back that does nothing to change how close this spirit is to us.


    The second tilts its head and shifts weight to keep the smallest spirit pinned. [Since when does Thendra let her Desolate Maw talk?]


    It knows Thendra? But¡­ but how would it know about that stupid name she gave me?


    Fuzzy Fae bristles with the anger I¡¯m struggling to pull up through my confusion. Jellyfish are starting to hiss and swim about in odd patterns.


    Wait¡­ If all the godlings were like me. Then this one could have been¡­


    The bigger growls warnings to the spirit beneath itself, hissing dark threats before pushing off and rising. The second does the same and follows. Leaving the third spirit to whimper on the ground. Both looming as tall as my Dark Goddess and beginning to move toward me. Saying something about¡­ something?


    It doesn¡¯t matter. Because I know who they are.


    Or were.


    ¡°F¨C Fur F¨C Furth¨C O¨C Nois?¡±


    Or at least parts of them? Parts I met after they bubbled up the day they demanded I bring them Awnya.


    The spirits grin, seeming to crouch low and prowl toward me like the predators they are. Then separate and move to approach from two angles.


    The parts they let bubble up when it was time to eat a Fae.


    Naranggas flex deadly claws and twisting death and even my sea-bed grows darker and more threatening.


    [We¡¯re not limited by flesh and oaths to weaker slaves this time.] The larger purrs, seeming totally unworried by my soul¡¯s changes and warnings. [You should submit to us, little Fae.]


    I hiss, and Instead I swirl my Naranggas into a twisting mess of soul death and swing a limb down to smack this horrid spirit!


    [Wonderful.] It smirks just before the strike lands.

 Chapter 130: Voracious to Blaze and Live Again

    <u>CW:</u>


    Attempt to soul feast and spirit control and talk of spirit control and memories of spirits being cruel.


    Despite everything¡­ of course it¡¯s Thendra¡¯s words that bubble through my mind as I try to kill these two stupid spirits.


    It¡¯s not a conflict of the flesh.


    Where the Fuzzy Fae is all a flood of angry fur, and the weird Everflame spirit was boiling malice, these things are¡­ so weird. Twinned horrid dancers that sway and leap and glide to the unspoken tune of my attacks. Just barely able to avoid them. Kept away by my endless sea of Naranggas from our core but¡­


    Getting closer with every beat.


    Need to find the melody. Change the tune.


    Crush and bite and tear these stupid horrid spirits apart! Get back home!


    So I begin to growl and howl my Shrike of The End. A song that was perfect last time these shadows tried to eat me. My Fuzzy Fae growls a bit in worry, but our Jellyfish giggle and yip their enjoyment for my Dreadsong.


    Spirits stumble in their hunt, try to get their feet and move to the song. But¡­ It¡¯s mine, and I can feel where the soon to be dead will be standing when they find my workings end.


    Twist, half of my everything into one big tendril, slam into it with so much death that it splatters into nothing quickly! Follow the momentum, spin, let the song bubble faster, catch the second and¨C


    Twins of heart and soul curls close as we perch atop our home and consider this city. Enjoy so much the sweet smell of the waves and the little melodies dancing through the air. Weavings of the songs of the Fae mingled with the tunes of the¨C


    Stumbling, hissing, barely keeping the song going. Not from anything cruel about the memory. But¡­ but of how much it hurts to understand it. Then senses focus on the Spirit I just barely missed as it cackles and scuttles toward us to take advantage of the hiccup in my attacks and¨C


    Endless rivers twist about the glowing tree at the middle of it all. Deep as the oceans at the edges but filled with all kinds of life! But¡­ then something changes. We all feel it. A crack splitting through everything and everyone as the¨C


    Fuzzy Fae is holding it back as best it can, but those mouth hands are slerping up the bristling fur like some delicious drink as the jaws snap and are just barely kept away from my¨C


    Our time comes when the godling¡¯s slave plunged a blade dripping with soul death into the neck of the Godling. He¡¯s weeping and doesn¡¯t understand why or what¡¯s happening, blubbering everything from apologies for the Mistress he was broken into loving and hating, to spitting curses.


    So we take up his knife and bury it in the heart and Amwella. Without words begin to engorge on the souls of the past Godling of Theradas and the little slave before he can fully consume the mantle. Split the feast and stand at each other¡¯s back when old shadows rise up and¨C


    Jellyfish swarm its neck. Biting and hissing and causing it to reel back. And with a howl I finally manage to get two Naranggas about the thing¡¯s neck and pull it apart. Drowning us all in the Shrike of Dream¡¯s End as the spirit begins to melt under the weight of my song.


    Old memories begin to bubble and bite. About to drown me in worse things than the first as together their cruelty was a gorgeous harmony that help crack at the¡­


    The¡­


    Where am I?


    Sit up and look around as the memories drift away like so much dry sand. Dissolved by the echoing Dreadsong as it fades. Leaving me with just myself, the Fuzzy Fae, my Jellyfish, and¡­ the forest around us?


    Fuzzy Fae whimpers and shivers in fear. Scurries back into the mebe parts of my soul and curls tight about itself. Trembling and bubbling and trying to push away the memories we just drank up.


    I sit there for a while. Nuzzling it and our seemingly unbothered Jellyfish as I try to understand where we are and what¡­ like¡­ happened?


    Because¡­ How did we get into the forest at the edge of Theradas?


    I glance back. Can¡­ kinda see the desert? Mebe? But it¡¯s so far away and how did¡­ Did I even get here? We didn¡¯t Riftwalk or move! Just¡­ just¡­


    Fought the stupid spirits. Sang my Shrike to kill it and mebe melt away the bad memories before they got to us and¨C


    Something moves, cutting off my thoughts, and I¡¯m on my feet and almost hissing as I see the third spirit.


    She slithers and glides through the air with such grace, as pretty as I remember, even with all the broken scales and scars and tears and shaking. Smaller than when I killed her too, closer to my size now.


    Like¡­ she was in the first memories I got from her.


    Furthonois. Keshada. Woman of the Six Ways and previous Godling of Theradas that I killed to protect my Awnya.


    She stops, just within range of my tendrils. Only two eyes this time, and both a much more dull shade of maroon than in life. And¡­ after a few seconds greets very carefully after I don¡¯t say anything. [Hello, Lyra.]


    This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.


    ¡°F¨C furth¨C th¨C tho¨C nois.¡± I growl but¡­ it¡¯s mostly in warning.


    [Yes. I¡­ Am hoping we can come to some kind of an arrangement? One that doesn¡¯t end with me being torn apart or driven back into¡­] Glances into the shadows, seems to still a bit in disgust. [That place.]


    ¡°Wh¨C why?¡± I tilt my head and ask.


    She sighs and shrugs. [Because it is wretched. And I¡¯d rather not meet the two you just killed within those depths.]


    They¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits. They¡¯re not gone forever? Just¡­ just sent back inside the shadows!?!


    I hiss and curse wordlessly. She flinches and glides back at my anger and fear. So I take a breath and calm a bit.


    [I spent almost three centuries bearing this mantle, and am willing to offer knowledge and memories and all other¡­ services.] Furthonois replies after I¡¯ve steadied.


    She trails off, looks down at her form. Eyes widen a bit.


    I don¡¯t¡­ what? Of all the horrid and cruel spirits SHE is the one who wants to¡­ to talk? To try to help me?


    [Please.] She whispers when I don¡¯t move or speak and seems¡­ even more desperate.


    ¡°G¨C good at L¨C lying.¡±


    She nods, but with a smirk, [I am a Mistress of masks and performances. Yes. You¡¯d be a fool to trust me on promises alone. But you bear the ability to read me clearly. Taste any falsehood or wretched ambition within my schemes. So¡­] Then she spreads her thin and almost¡­ frail arms.


    An invitation to envelope her soul and feel her thoughts and intentions.


    I stare for a while longer. Worried that¡­ that this is a trap. A trick to hurt me or¡­ or something?


    But if my Naranggas are things she can hurt easily¡­ wait. WAIT!


    ¡°V¨C venom.¡± I spit.


    She looks back up, quirks an eyebrow. [That was woven from my flesh. Even if I could use it as I am, which I cannot, you¡¯ve already proven to be more than capable of handling it. At my most potent even.]


    I chew on that, eventually murmuring. ¡°N¨C no attack. O¨C or¡­ an¨C anything. B¨C be s¨C still. Oke?¡±


    Furthonois nods, then drifts down and¡­ and presses her forehead to the floor. Spreads arms out in front of herself.


    Can¡¯t help but hiss. ¡°No.¡±


    She twists to look up, a bemused smile quirking at her lips. [Oh?]


    ¡°N¨C not sl¨C slave.¡± I growl.


    [If it¡¯s a choice between being your creature or returning to the Well. I choose your gentle cruelties.] She smirks.


    ¡°N¨C no.¡± I snap. ¡°Just¡­ n¨C no. Up.¡±


    [As you wish.] She gracefully twists and floats to rise again.


    Then I walk forward, reach out a tendril to hover just a bit away from Furthonois. She nods and spreads arms again. I look to my Fuzzy Fae. Who seems to be settled and healing and watching. Bubbles with being okay with this.


    So I carefully wind a Naranggas about the spirit of the previous Godling of Theradas, pulling my core close and¡­


    Fear. Woven and kept from bubbling past her playful confidence. Terror of me and the shadows and other things. A little anger but¡­ it¡¯s not sharp just¡­ there. Because I killed her. And¡­ hmm¡­ but also hope? Tangled with something else I need to¡­


    Oh.


    The memories I got from her flitter into my thoughts. How her old flesh used to shift to match the body hungers of those around her. But¡­ when I met them her form only changed when they demanded Awnya from me and¡­ but¡­


    ¡°Y¨C you¡­ th¨C they. H¨C how many? Before? W¨C were inside?¡± I whisper.


    Her face goes blank. Is still pretty but¡­ no longer trying to pretend. [Almost two dozen at the most, but¡­ there was always a struggle. For a place outside the Well. Eventually things settled to about a ten or so.]


    I wince, then whisper my worry. ¡°H¨C how d¨C did you f¨C fight them?¡±


    Because if the Venom only hurts things of flesh and not spirit¡­


    She tenses, does a pretty and graceful version of a shrug. [Well fed I could resist the smaller ones but otherwise¡­ I mostly didn¡¯t. Not when the stronger ones arose.]


    I taste the truth in her words, then feel the echoes of a memory stir...


    Vicious things bubbling up and crashing into her spirit. Tearing and biting and burrowing and nesting and¨C


    She stares blankly into my eyes, says nothing.


    But her everything is dribbling very clearly. Even if she¡¯s currently trying to not think too much about what I¡¯m finding within her. How¡­ how Furthonois fought so hard for her happiness. Might have even tried to be a kinder Godling to a city drowning in terrible things. Then¡­ then spirits started bubbling up and eventually she couldn¡¯t fight them and¡­


    And she, in many ways, became a slave again.


    But now to horridly cruel spirits that she could not kill or escape or even die to. How¡­ how while she learned to avoid twisting to fit the desires of those around her, she couldn¡¯t do the same to the spirits that dug into her Amwella and buried themselves so deep she struggled to separate herself from¨C


    ¡°Oke.¡± I whisper, and pull away.


    [Okay?] She asks, and I don¡¯t need to touch her to recognize the little spark of hope flickering in her eyes again.


    Deep breath.


    Ask the Fuzzy Fae if it would be okay with what I¡¯m feeling. I¡­ I expect it to growl and hiss and be upset. Gnash or¡­ or be annoyed or¡­


    But it nuzzles me back and radiates agreement. Seems to even calm at my idea.


    Another deep breath, and I nod. ¡°Can st¨C stay. I w¨C will protect. Y¨C you talk w¨C with B¨C b¨C beloveds. A¨C answer questions.¡±


    Furthonois¡¯ mask of playful calm returns, and she nods. [I will answer any questions you or your allies may have. Gift you all my knowledge and understanding. Even the little magic I learned. If you keep me safe from the wretched things that will come from the Well to eat us both.]


    I sigh and look around. ¡°First. W¨C where are we?¡±


    She glances about. Takes it all in. [By sensation and sight alone¡­ Possibly Fae Woods from how oddly it twists. But¡­ You¡¯d know better than I. The only time I was able to visit any of the Fae realms was the day of my ascension. Drug there by my fellow godlings and forced to affirm Oaths.]


    That¡­ what? I mean¡­ It''s kinda familiar. But it smells off! Not wrong but¡­ weird?


    ¡°But¡­ Was j¨C just in Th¨C Theradas. D¨C desert.¡± I mumble while looking about. ¡°N¨C need to g¨C go home.¡±


    [Last I knew you had that flexible little Riftwalk.] She presses.


    I nod, then focus. Begin to twist my Reaver¡¯s Riftwalk to tear a path backways to the tower in Theradas and¡­ and it fails again. Even worse than before!


    Like it¡¯s smothered. There is still the song, still the magic, but¡­ nothing else!


    ¡°D¨C Dre¨C dreamers T¨C TITS!¡± I spit, let my Naranggas writhe in anger and annoyance the beginning of fear.


    [Quite.] Furthonois murmurs in agreement to my frustrations. [I always assumed the Wards within the Fae Wood only kept outsiders from entering, not leaving.]


    I nod. Look to my Fuzzy Fae. Wribble questions.


    But it¡¯s just¡­ huh.


    ¡°N¨C not F¨C Fae wo¨C ood?¡± I ask aloud.


    It nods.


    [That seems¡­ Well there are plenty of strange wooded Rifts about.] Furthonois muses. [None close to Theradas, mind you. We got the barren wastelands and boiling pits and such. Barely enough water to drink, much less supply anything this lush.]


    I turn and glance back. Spot the desert¡¯s midnight hues past the farthest trees.


    Begin to walk.


    ¡°S¨C still in Theradas.¡± I whisper softly.


    Starting to understand.


    [Oh? Has so much changed between your ascension and my end?] She glides along beside me, smirking playfully but¡­ feeling honestly curious.


    ¡°S¨C sinking.¡± I answer.


    Eyes narrow in confusion. [Sinking? What?]


    ¡°I left. O¨C only c¨C came back to s¨C save sl¨C slaves.¡± I whisper, realizing that she can hear even my softest words. Which me using will make us talking easier.


    Furthonois pauses, then can¡¯t help but laugh nervously. [You¡­ How? Why? The Fae and must be furious about that.]


    ¡°D¨C don¡¯t care.¡± I shrug. ¡°H¨C haven¡¯t r- r- really m¨C met any b¨C but o- one s¨C since...¡±


    Since the day I lost my Beloved.


    [Ah¡­ Well how does that explain where we are now?] She asks, obviously pulling our words away from the topic of the girl they tried to kill.


    ¡°S¨C sinking. Blight coming closer.¡±


    The inevitable arrival of Dream¡¯s End.


    [Yes, that was explained to me. Why I must forever remain within my Rift, save the most brief of trips elsewhere. But¡­]


    I huff, consider turning and running the other way and swimming home once I find the sea but¡­


    That could take a few eternities, and my Beloveds are probably so worried!


    ¡°We¡¯re in my old home.¡± I whisper so softly I doubt anyone but the spirits within my soul can hear me. ¡°Dead Dreamer¡¯s Woods.¡±

 Chapter 131: Everything Burns, Especially Storms

    <u>CW:</u>


    WOW! 4.8K worb chappy with RASKA POV to Start and TRETION next! Um... threats to burn and fear of getting burned. Threats of killing and taking corpses for puppets aaaaaand eating souls. Mhm. Threats of dehumanizing a gerl to burn a new Rift into existing. mhm! Woops!


    ¡°Why would she even go out there?¡± I ask, staring down at the twisting gemstone wrapped about Awnya¡¯s wrist as the little Jellyfish nuzzles it close.


    And¡­ all of us rumble in a deep anxiety for that girl''s safety. Which¡­ is so new to me to feel. Even Peva took years to warm up to Wren, and the others never really did anything but growl in their general direction. But for them to actively and openly thrum with worry over her? A Fae? A Godling? A gerl who even killed one of their last hosts?


    It¡¯s¡­ scary. But I¡¯ve also felt the most safe than I have before. Less twitchy and worried that they¡¯re gonna try and hurt me.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits!¡± Awnya spits, glaring out into the desert. ¡°It doesn¡¯t¡­ I¡­¡±


    We didn¡¯t even bother waiting very long. After Lyra didn¡¯t come back as quick as before Awnya hummed a soft song to one of their little ones and nudged it to wiggle up to the tracking wristband Tretion and she made for this very worry.


    Something about sympathetic bindings to all the little ones. A thing to let them track any wayward Jellyfish if they somehow wandered off or dug their way back into the blight between the Rifts.


    And the mother holding them, if she got distracted or otherwise didn¡¯t come back. Right now it¡¯s pointing us toward the farthest edges of Theradas. Into the deep desert¡­


    ¡°So, let¡¯s Shift out and get her.¡± I state and take up Awnya¡¯s arm, barely even needing to think about anything else before Peva sparks up our flame and begins to twist¨C


    ¡°I can¡¯t.¡± Awnya growls.


    I smother the boiling spell to glance over at her. ¡°What? Why?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ That¡¯s Blight on the horizon. If I get much closer I¡­ I¡¯m not sure I can survive that. Even with my warding melodies. It looks too thick.¡± She sniffs again, face pale but filled with rage as she glances over at me. ¡°But you can. Alone. Right? Use your flames to burn away the Rot? Keep yourself safe and pull her back to us?¡±


    I hesitate, spit Peva¡¯s favorite curse, and nod. ¡°It¡¯ll be like leaping headfirst into the mud, but yeah. Shifts don¡¯t work between Rifts. Just¡­ hope she¡¯s not out too far. We¡¯re gonna have to walk back if Lyra can¡¯t toss us free of it.¡±


    ¡°Alright. Just¡­ Come back.¡± Awnya takes a deep breath, coughs and spits, then takes me by the shoulder. Meets my gaze. ¡°Even¡­ Look, our girl can survive the blight. Easy. This is actually one of the least terrifying things, honestly. So¡­ keep that in mind, okay?¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± I nod. ¡°I won¡¯t dive tits deep. Will keep my hops small. That way I can walk out before getting too far.¡±


    She lets out a breath, pulls those Jellyfish close, and steps back. ¡°I¡¯m going to grab Tretion. Then hop back here and wait at the edges under a spell of hiding.¡±


    ¡°Good plan, would rather you not bump into trouble alone.¡± I reply, voice already dropping and cracking as I begin to Rasp the words Peva¡¯s gifted me.


    No idea how other¡¯s Shift or Riftwalk but¡­ for me?


    Feels like burning a hole on the horizon and blazing through everything between.


    Small though, just like I promised. Little flickers of motion. Barely costs me anything. Like hopping between solid rocks amidst bubbling ash.


    I feel it before I see it, can¡¯t help but cackle at the fear that sizzles in my gut. It¡¯s¡­ a pull. Forward. Worse than if you¡¯re on the edge of a steep cliff and looking down. Like some big scary thing is taking a deep breath and if you don¡¯t find something to hold onto you¡¯ll just get sucked into its maw.


    A lot like when we did this back in the day, eh Peva? I intone to my First. Leaping between and burning hard. Nothing behind to care much for. Our only future was forward.


    Would rather burn what we were away than stay like that. Even if nothing rose from my ashes.


    He rumbles in almost manic furiously delighted agreement. And... huh. The others seem to spark with their own appreciation for what we¡¯re doing. Who we¡¯re trying to keep safe.


    Dead Cinders¡­ have they all calmed so much after Lyra started hugging us. Bubbling with affections and fear but easily embracing flames that just a few weeks back were sizzling to nip and bite at her. Now going soft and warm for her.


    Which still¡­ really scares me. Reminds me of¨C


    No. She¡¯s not those other Fae. SHE Didn¡¯t hurt you. Even let YOU hurt her then, and would probably fall to pieces if you so much as sparked an angry look her way.


    Peva rumbles close as we Shift twice more, and I expect him to nudge me into burning better or to otherwise be annoyed at me for dredging up this memory as the edge of this Rift fast charges us. But he only holds near. Guides our Spark and motions. Letting me come to steady focus when I¡¯m ready.


    It¡¯s like a storm by the time I¡¯ve quieted myself. Dust blowing all up around us and starting to bite at my flesh and¨C


    Peva and I howl together, and the Spark zips out to tear and bite and BURN AT THE ROTTEN SCENT OF BROKEN OATHS AND DYING LIGHT!


    Like some large writhing snek or birb or¡­ something shaped lover. Clearing us a bubble to look about and consider how much deeper we¡¯d like to go.


    ¡°Lyra!¡± We call out into the sandy storm about. Really glad for the twisting blaze circling about and burning all the spice laden sand to ash.


    A pause and¡­ do we hear anything?


    Another shift, but this time it only carries us halfway as much as the last. Our bubble of protection shrinks as the storm intensifies.


    ¡°Lyra!!!¡± We roar, louder.


    Begin to gather up for one last Shift before¨C


    A shout. Ahead of us and to the left.


    Shift that way. Roar louder still. ¡°LYRA!¡±


    Storm is too thick though. Can¡¯t see anything but twisting kicked up sand past our blazing flame and¡­ Wait. A silhouette!


    Small, but surrounded in a soul that stretches way too fucking big with little weird things dancing and wiggling at the edges.


    So clearly Lyra and her Jellyfish. We all grin and dash toward her. Each step seems¡­ not slower but¡­ like we¡¯re running after something that¡¯s pulling away without moving. Even though I can tell she¡¯s running toward us.


    Then she stops. Seems to take a step back.


    ¡°It¡¯s alright!¡± We call out, kneeling even into the ash and sand. ¡°It won¡¯t hurt ya. We¡­ we came to get you out!¡±


    At that her soul pulls close in on itself, but¡­ she takes a step forward.


    We don¡¯t move. No matter how much we want to. Because like¡­ She probably sees us like how we saw her the day we burned her.


    Everything that would hurt us roaring and spitting.


    Ukalon¡¯s tit fucked feathers that hurts to realize.


    But then our girl¡¯s stumbling through the edges. Perfectly safe. Clothes are a mess but¡­ doesn¡¯t seem hurt.


    Just scared.


    Not at where she is but¡­


    The Everflame she¡¯s with.


    ¡°Sorry.¡± We intone as gently as we can while channeling our Spark. ¡°I gotta keep burning loud. Not sure how you¡¯re handling this storm but I gotta do this it to stay alive.¡±


    The fear in her eyes tilts a bit into confusion, so much as she takes a careful step forward. ¡°S¨C storm?¡±


    We pause, nod. ¡°Yeah. This sandstorm at the edge of the Rift.¡±


    ¡°N¨C no s¨C s¨C storm. F¨C forest.¡±


    We hesitate. ¡°What? You were in a forest?¡±


    She shakes her head. ¡°N¨C no. In f¨C forest. N¨C now. D¨C dead Dr¨C dr¨C Dreamers Wood. Y¨C you¡¯re b¨C b¨C b¨C urning i¨C it down. B¨C but gr¨C gr¨C grows f¨C fast.¡±


    Don¡¯t know what to say to that.


    Lyra tilts her head like she¡¯s listening to someone else, and a weird rippling of¡­ huh.


    ¡°That fuzzy spirit have something to say?¡±


    She sighs and looks down. ¡°N¨C no. L¨C let¡¯s¡­ j¨C ju¨C just g¨C go? W¨C words later?¡±


    ¡°Alright.¡± I say carefully. ¡°Can I keep close till you can Shift us out?¡±


    She glances up, swallows hard, but nods. Asking carefully. ¡°C¨C can¡­?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± We smirk, standing. ¡°Won¡¯t burn ya. Promise.¡±


    A pause, then she very carefully she reaches out with a long tendril and takes hold, visibly relaxing as she senses our affections and joy at seeing her safe and¨C


    And darts forward to wrap herself about me in a hug. Nearly knocking us all to the sand and dirt with how fierce this embrace is.


    ¡°S¨C sorry.¡± Lyra whispers, but squeezes tighter.


    ¡°You¡¯re fine.¡± We assure her while trembling but hugging back. ¡°Let¡¯s get home. Your girls are worried and waiting.¡±


    **    **    **


    ¡°Are we well hidden?¡± I ask my beloved.


    Awnya nods and murmurs through her humming song. ¡°As much as I can make us.¡±


    I glance back toward the city proper, Amwella sight active but¡­ Well, it was never my strong suit. And my new soul, even tuned to the Radiance of the Dream, doesn¡¯t compare to what I lost. It is weak and quite blurry about anything beyond a few dozen feet on the best of days.


    I adjust the grip on my stave, glance out into the desert.


    On the horizon, a storm seems to rise. A dark roiling pitched cloudthing of furious proportions. Dark and blending enough to make it invisible if not for how high it obscures the view of the far skies.


    ¡°And you¡¯re sure that wasn¡¯t there these last days?¡±


    She shakes her head. ¡°Naw, just seemed to really bubble up as me and Raska came out here. Doesn¡¯t seem to be growing too much since just¡­ getting more defined?¡±


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    The bauble on my wrist still glimmers and glows in the direction of the storm. The child I nudged to activate it long since nuzzled close to my core again, but¡­ its effects still tuned to track our Beloved until I cut off the little link of Amwella.


    ¡°And¡­ What are your thoughts on it?¡±


    Awnya takes a deep breath, spits, then takes a moment to steady her song. ¡°Pretty obvious, beloved. That¡¯s the edge. Blighted Rot and Ruin and¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits. Never made the connection before. Too young and stupid and distracted.¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ others didn¡¯t share this, and I¡¯m still in the silence on your discovery.¡± I slip over and regather up a hand of hers in mine.


    Letting her touch cool the bubbling worry I¡¯m only just keeping down when she came to retrieve me.


    ¡°The¡­ so this Rift¡¯s weird gross spiced smell.¡± She murmurs into her melody, ¡°Never found it anywhere else. Never liked it. But¡­ Lyra did, and probably still does. I didn¡¯t understand why until now.¡±


    A heartbeat, and I understand. Whisper back. ¡°It¡¯s the aroma of the sands mixing with the Blight.¡±


    She nods, lips twisting into an angry shape. ¡°Yeah¡­ and for our girl who lived for years in a Blight drowned forest, and adores that ocean of Rot¡­ it¡¯s no wonder this place feels such a way to her. I just¡­ Can¡¯t help but get so mad at finding all these little things that big cunt used to tune our girl¡¯s melodies. Thing¡¯s I, of all the Fae, should have noticed and been able to point out and help her see.¡±


    She glances over to me, just for a second but¡­ I see the pain in her gaze. Feel how it mingles with her song. ¡°And you¡¯ve not seen it but¡­ Tretion. There is such a look of something soft whenever she brings us back here. A love for this wretched Rift. Something I¡¯m not sure she¡¯s grappling with well and I¡¯ve no idea what to say.¡±


    I smile gently and nod. ¡°It¡¯s good you never shamed her for it. Or let yourself feel strongly enough for her to be worried. But¡­ this revelation is important, my Beloved. Possibly invaluable. Her seeing and being able to list the sources and reasons for her feelings is important. Tools to help her fray at the threads that link her to that woman.¡±


    Awnya lets out another sigh, then spits again. ¡°Yeah. Yeah. You¡¯re right. We¡¯re doing good. Just¡­ being back here and her running off scares me.¡±


    Squeeze her hand tighter still, ¡°Me too. And this storm might imply we¨C¡±


    But I stop as Awnya twitches and jerks back to glare at the city behind us, free hand that was already toying at the hilt of her blade now gripping it hard.


    Song of hiding still holds but¡­


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­¡± Awnya hisses as she seems to sing her melody of concealment with more intensity.


    ¡°Have we been heard?¡± I whisper.


    ¡°There¡­ is a good chance of that.¡± She growls.


    I take a deep breath, and nod. ¡°Just one or¡­?¡±


    ¡°It was, but¡­ feels more now. This goose called up the gaggle and I think we¡¯re about to get company.¡±


    The little titter of amusement at that word Awyna uses for her kin almost is enough to calm me a touch.


    Almost.


    ¡°Is there any chance that they¡¯ll not sense us and move on?¡±


    ¡°Naw, they¡¯ve found the loose strands of my song.¡± She glances at me. ¡°So, run? Try and lead them on a bit of a chase so our girls can slip from the storm and go home without issue?¡±


    Tip tap fingers on the stave. Feel my headstalks sway as I consider the options aloud. ¡°We could, but a single huntress tracked you quickly before, and that was in the midst of a Reaver attack. There are more now, and you don¡¯t have Usete or Lyra to keep the Blight of the Rifts we¡¯d use safely held back.¡±


    ¡°We could just jump to Getrik¡¯s.¡± She replies.


    ¡°Yes, and hope that in their confusion they don¡¯t hover in this spot and pounce on Raska and Lyra when they emerge without understanding what¡¯s happening.¡± I sigh and look back. ¡°So¡­ I think we delay them with words as long as possible. If they attempt violence we defend and flee to my cousins. Otherwise¡­ Well, we have the godling of this Rift and our duenna hopefully fast approaching. A fight or a retreat will be simple then.¡±


    Awnya pauses, then grins quite wickedly. ¡°I think we can weave words well enough to keep them from trying something stupid. They¡¯re all confused already as to us being here, and probably don¡¯t know that we¡¯ve been about this city for days. As far as they know we¡¯re just visiting.¡±


    ¡°Exactly.¡± I nod and meet her grin with one of my own. ¡°Shall I follow your lead? Or¡­¡±


    She cracks shoulders, then nods. ¡°Yeah, but toss your melodies in as needed. Spark up that stave when you feel it¡¯s right but¡­ know that¡¯ll ruffle their feathers when you do.¡±


    I begin to carefully link my Amwella into my stave, but keep the flow small and steady so as to not have the weapon¡¯s nature blaze too brightly to those watching or listening.


    ¡°Ready when you are, Beloved.¡±


    Awnya steps up to me, drawing us both into a deep and passionate kiss that sets my headstalks to writhe and grasp at this wonderful girl, then pulls back. And with a smirk turning us to face the city as her song of hiding fades, humming the final twistings of it to wind into things of peaceful greeting and curiosity as our forms are revealed to any watching.


    It takes what feels like a short eternity for a dozen Fae figures to waft into view as if stepping from behind a curtain. Their own veils of concealment only removed when they stand with others.


    ¡°Heya,¡± Awnya calls out, gripping my hand tighter. ¡°Didn¡¯t expect to find any other Fae in a Rift like this. What brings you all out and about?¡±


    One of the women takes a single step forward. Like most Fae she seems of a younger age, but from her eyes and tone and form I think she¡¯s quite the elder. Perhaps one my Beloved told me of?


    ¡°Awnya¡­¡± She calls out, voice pressing but steady. ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    My Beloved ignores her words and replies, ¡°Hey Opherity, been¡­ what? A decade? More? How¡¯s life in the Wood treated ya?¡±


    The Fae huffs in annoyance. ¡°Do not play the fool. You know why we are here.¡±


    ¡°I do?¡± Awnya tilts her head in mock confusion. ¡°That¡¯s a new melody to my ears. Because I made it very clear what I was meaning to spend my life¡¯s songs doing, and unless you¡¯re here to help me free some really desperate sorts¡­ I¡¯m stumped. This really isn¡¯t a place you¡¯d come to for a nice relaxing stroll.¡±


    ¡°Little Sparrow, this is cascading beyond all good reason.¡± Opherity presses past my Beloved¡¯s attempts. ¡°The Dream is fading faster than it has in living memory, and that girl is at the center of it all. Where is Lyra?¡±


    ¡°Huh. Well that¡¯s also quite the mess of words you''re mangling into a tune.¡± My Fae replies calmly, but amber eyes blaze with anger. ¡°Because a girl like that seems the type to need love and kind sorts gathered about to offer her help when asked. Not¡­ a dozen Fae set to pounce on her and drag her off to some abandoned Rift like some slaver¡¯s newest prize.¡±


    ¡°Awnya.¡± A strange feline Fae begins to hiss, but Opherity silences him with a glare before turning back to regard us.


    But this time she actually pauses. Eyes dancing for the first time to me. To the hand in Awnya¡¯s and the stave gripped opposite. Iris glimmering with Amwella sight but¡­ not seeming to consider the children nuzzled close to our cores.


    ¡°You¡­ must be the Watcher we were told about. Tretion, correct?¡± She says to me.


    ¡°Matron, Tretion. Opherity of the Fae.¡± I correct steadily. ¡°Granddaughter to the late Detlina.¡±


    ¡°Ah, yes.¡± This Fae nods, then seems to decide on something. ¡°She¡­ was fortunately not a woman I had the displeasure to meet. If the tellings of her were accurate.¡±


    ¡°Quite. She was horrid.¡± I reply simply. ¡°Her final home was actually here in Theradas.¡±


    ¡°We... Look, Matron Tretion. From the state of your soul I can assume that the tales about your end were either untrue, exaggerated, or adjusted to ignore your return to the Dream?¡±


    I weigh the impulse to spit venom at this Fae. Throw all manner of well-deserved anger at her and the gathering Fae at her back for their part in that event.


    But I take a deep breath, steady my mind and focus on our goals here, and nod. ¡°Awnya was honoring my wishes when she kept certain details private. Not giving lies, but¡­ a respectful gesture to a grieving woman who very much did not wish to be pulled into pressing questions about the fate of my lost love.¡±


    Opherity sighs, but only softens her words. ¡°I can understand that. And would love to have you fill in the gaps for us as to the events after and around.¡±


    ¡°There is only a little to add. Some odd possessions of my family were able to gift me a new life. But¡­ one that has been limited these past years. Disallowed me from traveling even. I¡¯ve only just recently, and with Awnya¡¯s help, found a way to heal my Amwella enough to move about.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure there is more to this tale than that.¡± She murmurs. ¡°You both will come back to the Fae Wood with us now. To answer questions and help us find the path to settle this unfortunate twisting of our Dream¡¯s Song.¡±


    A pause, and I appreciate my Beloved not spitting anger and tripping this into aggression too early. Letting me speak to delay.


    ¡°I¡­ have to refuse. Fae Opherity.¡± I reply carefully. ¡°I was offered quite wretched hospitality on both my prior visits. Captivity and intrusive mind magic to keep me compliant followed by my death during the last. Even my awakening wounded me in ways I¡¯m not sure will ever heal. If you are polite I will consider a later talk elsewhere alongside a Promise Song of peace.¡±


    Opherity shakes her head, gestures past us. ¡°I trust you see that storm on the Horizon, Matron?¡±


    I hesitate, feigning thoughtfulness but mostly to gain us more precious time, then nod.


    ¡°If we do not find the newly mantled Godling, and soon, that storm will sweep forward and end this Rift and all around it.¡± She explains. ¡°None will survive. But¡­ if we can find this girl. We can strip that mantle away, gift it to another and settle them here before so much is lost.¡±


    ¡°And¡­ what would become of the past one who holds the mantle?¡± I ask while carefully holding my headstalks still to avoid obvious signs of fury bubbling past softer words.


    ¡°She¡­¡± Opherity pauses, seems to consider her reply, then sighs heavily. ¡°The girl will survive. Barely. But if the tellings of her history and nature are true then she can be given the place at the center of a new Fae Wood. The Dream will flair anew like it hasn¡¯t. New life given heathy soil to blossom from. Your lover will be that rich soil.¡±


    Awnya lets out an enraged growl. ¡°I remember when my dad took me to see the Hearthfire at the center of the Twilight court. That¡¯s¡­ is that what she¡¯s gonna become? Just¡­ just¡­¡±


    She trails off, an attempt at calm distaste ruined and sparked to open fury.


    From what little she explained after our talk with Heklis, their plans for Lyra would be akin to death. Probably worse.


    Forever burning. Soul to warm the life and happiness around her but¡­ not her own. Not alive. No body or form or wishes or delights of a life well lived. Kindling for others desires and flames.


    ¡°One.¡± Opherity states evenly, but her eyes are hissing. ¡°One girl for countless more to thrive. To not attempt to weave that into the Dream would be selfish beyond measure, Awnya.¡±


    ¡°That girl is everything the Dream needs, but¡­ Not what it deserves.¡± Awnya spits. ¡°At least not for you lot. Dreamer Blight you for wanting to settle that cruel song on her.¡±


    The Fae flinches at those words. So much so that I worry she¡¯s pressed us into motion too soon. Struck away all deceit that words would garner our cooperation before the right time.


    But then I smell a wash of soot, hear the gentle fading of a song of concealment, and feel a warm tendril wrap about my soul. Feel our snoozing children perk up and coo happily at their mother¡¯s return. But¡­ not even a whisper sound or motion at our back.


    ¡°Fine.¡± Opherity very nearly growls while her expression twists to sour anger, then chirps a little song to what I assume are unseen hunters prowling close. Completely unaware of our own hidden allies'' well-timed return.


    A pause, the tendril about my soul pulls away, but¡­ nothing else happens.


    The Fae woman¡¯s anger turns confused, then she makes that sound again.


    But¡­ still nothing happens.


    ¡°You expecting something?¡± Awnya quirks an eyebrow and smirks at the group. ¡°Maybe some¡­ really odd Fae to pounce on us from under some impressive songs of hiding?¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± Opherity¡¯s eyes go wide. ¡°What did you do?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± Awnya grins. ¡°Be honest, Opherity. Were you actually doing anything but buying time for them to get close enough to snatch us up?¡±


    The Fae¡¯s flesh goes pale, and she takes a step back. ¡°All those souls disappearing. That¡­ that was you all!?!¡±


    ¡°No idea what you''re singing about.¡± Awnya shrugs.


    ¡°She¡¯s here.¡± Opherity hisses, then begins to twist such an odd tune from her lips.


    The other Fae panic a bit. Stumbling backwards but adding to the melody.


    ¡°Out.¡± Comes a strained hiss from nowhere as a tendril reclaims my soul in its grasp.


    ¡°Of course, Beloved.¡± I reply, turning to face where I think she¡¯s standing. ¡°When you''re ready. Straight to the primary haven, if you please.¡±


    No stops in Blighted Rifts to hide our trail. Straight to Getrik¡¯s home and the wards that will fuddle any attempts to follow us. Then back into our manor.


    It¡¯s impressive, how our Beloved somehow manages to keep her song of heavy concealment woven amidst all else she spins. Only her Riftwalking song laden in a bit of Blight enough to fray the edges and begin to reveal her shape and form alongside the two other bound and restrained Fae in her tendril''s grip.


    Her song begins to engulf us, twisting and hissing and seeming¡­ so much harder than I¡¯ve ever witnessed. Like she¡¯s stepped in waist-deep mud and is trying to climb free. Just as she¡¯s attempted to explain.


    Still moving though, clambering out and shredding anything that might try to bar her path but¡­


    That pause is enough.


    A strange crack echoes from behind, and I twist to see¡­


    Feathers?


    Dancing and flitting all about. Slicing at the pitched sand and air and eventually seeming to cut a split and¡­


    A new figure stands amidst the Fae. Cinderkin in form with horns sprouting from flesh while more of those feathers writhe from a soul that dominates the space about them.


    ¡°Lyra, now.¡± I whisper as I understand the creature these Fae have called into this place as their ally.


    Ukalon.


    But her song strains as those feathers twist and weave all about. Shredding the air and song. Splitting the Riftwalking melody Lyra was almost finished with.


    Her song shatters, leaving our Beloved huffing and coughing. Raska steps up, Sparkflame blazing from between her horns as she slips an arm beneath our Beloved¡¯s shoulder to steady her.


    ¡°Well isn¡¯t this one a delight?¡± The Godling of the Perch titters happily while dead eyes lock on our Beloved.


    Lyra looks up, and her eyes go wide as she takes in the flesh and soul of this new threat, still gripping those two Fae tight and shoving them to kneel in submission but¡­ trembling.


    Terrified of what she sees.


    I begin to gather up my Amwella, carefully dribble it into the maw of my stave. Attempting to use Lyra¡¯s shattered weaving as enough distraction to cover my preparations.


    ¡°Ukalon.¡± Opherity spits. ¡°Attend to your Oaths!¡±


    But¡­ the Godling only tilts head in consideration of our entire group. Then they turn back to regard the Fae about us ¡°Where is my fellow Godling? Where is Dreadweave? Did you not convince that one to sidestep the precise tunes of old Oaths in favor of upkeep the desired harmony?¡±


    ¡°They¡­ should have heard the song that called you to us.¡± Opherity says. ¡°Delayed, but it matters little. You¡¯ve had your mantle for thrice as long as Furthonois did. Act.¡±


    ¡°They cannot flee.¡± Ukalon grins cruelly. ¡°And we¡¯ve no interest in shedding flame when patience will reward us with a less costly victory.¡±


    ¡°But¨C¡±


    ¡°Then we can just burn the lot of you and leave before the old cunt of a rock bitch gets here.¡± Raska, voice boiling with the thrum of her joining flames, cackles while rolling forward to stand between us.


    ¡°Oh, you could try, little Everflame. But¡­ who says you could catch us? Much less scorch. Mayhaps a few of these Fae as they scatter about this Rift.¡± The godling smirks, then purrs to Raska. ¡°But¡­ please. Spend your Amwella a bit to wet appetites.¡±


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits¡­¡± Awnya hisses, glancing over to me. Pointitly ignoring the stave in my hand as I¡¯m not looking at the blade at hers.


    Both of us preparing hidden strikes for the most opportune moment.


    Raska¡¯s spark zips out at her growled command. Bellowing and twisting into an overly large beast and hissing twice as loudly. ¡°Try it, feathered cunt!!! Come take a bite!¡±


    An obvious goading. One even she knows won¡¯t work.


    But¡­ she can probably feel my stave¡¯s coiling strike writhing in preparation.


    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t worry¡­¡± Ukalon coos as a wicked grin splits her face. ¡°I think¡­ yes. Your corpse will make a good addition to my collection. Amwella a good little treat for my¨C¡±


    Stave lets out an audible burp as the limit of its capacity is reached.


    Raska spits commands, sending her writhing beast of a Spark forward toward the Fae and Godling.


    Awnya sings melodies of ice and cold to make the shifting sands turn solid and slick.


    All while Lyra focuses on reweaving us a song to escape this Rift. Slamming her everything against the godlings odd spell that cut off her first song. The smell of spice overwhelming the air all about us as the sands of Theradas itself seems to try and stop her.

 Chapter 132: The Distance Between Warforms

    <u>CW:</u>


    WOW. Big fight time. Soul fighting and blighting and feathers stabbing souls and memories of running and fear of family hurting and killed. memory loss.


    [Lyra¡­] Furthonois huffs.


    Ignore her.


    The Fae try to help the godthing with their own singing, adding extra weight and nipping fury to the attack. Another gust of cold blizzard winds bellow out from Awnya¡¯s melody. Jellyfish gurgle and growl and hiss and¨C


    Focus on the Song.


    Another roar of flame and dancing of feathers split and slice at the edges of my melody. Forcing me to restart in that flash of fear and distraction.


    IGNORE THEM!!!


    Already messed up. Put us in SO much danger.


    Need to get us home.


    But the Song keeps getting sliced apart by all these stupid feathers!!!


    I flinch, and the melody is ruined again as Raska¡¯s Spark darts past my right shoulder. Naranggas nearly loses grip on the stupid Fae I¡¯m holding and not killing and...


    [Running isn¡¯t an option.] Furthonois presses, twisting to glide before my eyes. [Lyra, this is Your Rift. Your domain. And even if Ukalon came here in full strength, which I very much doubt they have, you are stronger here!]


    That makes me pause my song, look past the spirit and my lover¡¯s angry castings and¡­


    [If Dreadweave was coming, it would have arrived before even them.] The former godthing purrs with a wicked smirk. [But they are alone and backed by Fae who will not kill. So¡­]


    ¡°C¨C can¡¯t¡­¡± I huff and cough.


    [You very much can.]


    ¡°B¨C but¡­ n¨C no R¨C ri¨C rift w¨C w¨C wa¨C¡­¡±


    [Mayhaps not out from this Rift, but¡­ within? Yes. Yes you can.] She hisses. [Fold your Rift and pull yourself to the prey. Shift.]


    My lovers¡­ explained the difference. Between a Riftwalk and a Shift. How the first could hop between Rifts and the second can¡¯t go beyond the one you¡¯re in. And¡­ and how somehow mine was always strong enough to do both quick enough I never cared to understand the subtle twistings of the song.


    ¡°B¨C but¡­¡±


    Tretion is the only one to hear my words between aiming and loosing her stave¡¯s angry burps to keep the more brave Fae and feathers back.


    Glances back in worry.


    Sees my confliction.


    ¡°Beloved.¡± She calls out through the chaos around us.


    I jerk to face her. Don¡¯t even try to speak. Just¡­ convey everything I can through my eyes.


    She smiles gently, but says nothing.


    Soul aglow with hope and love and confidence. Worry is there. Honestly more than that. Very real terror. But¡­


    Oh.


    She trusts me.


    I nod, turn my gaze past her.


    Glare at the weird feathery Godling.


    [Yeeees¡­] Furthonois hisses gently. [Show these fools just how much of a mistake it was to threaten what is yours.]


    Focus.


    Tune the Reaver¡¯s Riftwalk to just this place. This Rift. My Rift. Twist the melody in smaller ways. Tear and rip and consume the two Fae in my Naranggas grip. Use the flair of feasting warmth to spark my songs to blaze as bright as they can.


    Ukalon tilts head in curiosity, feathers adjusting to swirl back and¨C


    But I¡¯m already moving.


    Already gone.


    Already behind.


    Behind, spin, twist, reform and¡­


    CRACK.


    Half my Naranggas merged into a single big limb slice through three Fae. Tearing their souls out while six others barely pull back in time. Gobbling up their soul flame and having to fight a shivering pleasure from such warm song drown souls whimpering as they feel Dream¡¯s End.


    But my main target is moving too. Shifting behind and up and away. I slice the edges of their soul though. Tear feathery nonsense away in a howl of fury as they run. So I dig the teeth of the growling song into the Rift, and I¡¯m using the weight of Theradas to throw myself after them.


    Ukalon¡¯s Shifts are like fluttering cloth on angry winds. Not quick but¡­ reactive. Just fast enough to move just before I would land a lethal blow.


    Grinning the first two Shifts back across the rooftops of Theradas, big soul almost¡­ a chorus of united thoughtpaths mingling together in playful enjoyment?


    But after three more Shifts and me catching a bigger chunk of their soul to jerk away¡­


    Their joy wavers. Tilts into annoyance. Like a cascade rippling across and through all the distinct spirits within this godling.


    Grin doesn¡¯t falter though as they skip and dance away from my every strike.


    Need to go faster!


    So I use the old trick and Shift upwards and away, adjust to aim downways, fall as fast as I can.


    Doesn¡¯t matter if they¡¯re out of sight.


    I can see everything here in my Rift. Even¡­


    Huh.


    Shift to slip through the old Temple.


    Flying over the corpse me and my city left to rot, and all the skulls and coins and weird¡­ things they left piled all around. But I can¡¯t worry about them now.


    A small tendril snatches up my prize, surprised it''s still here and not stolen away. Shove as much Amwella through the blade as it can handle without breaking.


    Then I¡¯m launching at Ukalon again.


    All my Naranggas but one swirling into the largest tendril I¡¯ve ever woven and swinging with the weight of all the speed I could gather up.


    The godthing Shifts away. Still smirking while the soul and what must be a hundred Spirits within has fallen into steady annoyed untied focus.


    Only sees my trap when I¡¯ve already Shifted the screaming blade to the spot they¡¯ve half tried to escape to.


    Little Naranggas writhes up after the sword is buried up to the hilt in Amwella and flesh. Wrapping all about to pin them in place so I can Shift after them and spin biggest Naranggas around and¨C


    The¡­ almost huffing growl of spite hits just after my Reaver instincts howl for me to move. Pull my young close and shield them from any and all danger! My flesh and core is away¡­ but¡­ tendrils can¡¯t untangle before endless feathers sprout from the Godthing¡¯s soul and bite them back before¨C


    Pain. So much Dreamer blighted pain.


    And a muddled Shift that just barely slows my speed.


    Then more pain as my flesh cracks across the sandstone tiled floor and wall. But¡­ it¡¯s not as bad as the screams that come from my Amwella.


    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    Too much. The pain is more than anything ever that even a Dark Goddess laid upon my¨C


    And¡­ nothing. For a while. Just cold tendrils and memories of oblivion and a beloved sea while all of me bleeds.


    Jellyfish nuzzles and coos are the first things I understand after that.


    Already singing little gurgling songs of healing for their broken mother¡¯s body and soul.


    Fuzzy Fae has tumbled out and is hissing warning while wrapping about my Amwella and children.


    [It doesn¡¯t matter! We need her up, Kujdestar.] Urges a hissing voice. [The cunt has probably already fallen into a prepared corpse and is looking for her!]


    A reply. Not with words. Focused growling things that kinda hurt to think about.


    I gurgle and growl and fight to rise. Trying to focus things into a healing song.


    But the curse bites really hard.


    Makes it impossible to move for a bit. So I slump back to the floor and try really hard to weave the best and most quick healing song I can. Finally focus enough to see how torn up my soul is. Biggest Naranggas swirled back into many but¡­ they¡¯re all broken and bleeding. Little one that carried the blade is entirely gone. And¡­ and all throughout me is¨C


    More pain.


    Feathers buried in my soul like knives. Trying to sink deeper and deeper and beginning to grow roots.


    Deep breath.


    Need to get them out!


    Or¡­No.


    Pretty spiced smell reminds me of what Awnya said about these.


    Need to melt them out.


    So I murple to my Jellyfish and Fuzzy Fae to keep us safe, and focus on the song. Try to ignore the curse¡¯s bite.


    Hum Fear and Pain and Spite and the Dream¡¯s End to call Blight into my soul. Wash clean the wretched feathers. Burn them in the Song and Rot and worse still.


    Furthonois sputters out more things, but¡­ I need to ignore her. Because these stupid feathers start growing back unless they are fully melted and¡­ and there are a lot and I have to spend so much on just burning bits to stop them from spreading too close to me or my Jellyfish or the Fuzzy Fae.


    By the time I¡¯m able to focus past it all and understand things about me¡­


    [Lyra, we need to move.] Furthonois calls out as I¡¯m pushing myself up to sit and lean against the closest¡­ thing. Wall? Pillar?


    Everything outside that isn¡¯t Amwella sight is so blurry and tilted and wrong.


    Ignore her. Focus past. Looking for¡­


    Hiss in fury.


    ¡°Well wasn¡¯t that just¡­ so unexpected?¡± Purrs a horrid voice.


    Don¡¯t even bother to jerk and watch as the godthing slips from behind a Rift. New small pretty form shrouded in hundreds of feathers. Just¡­ have my Naranggas sprout bladed toothed warnings as I pour more of myself into¡­ into trying get these feathers off!


    ¡°If I¡¯m being honest, I¡¯m delighted to see how you¡¯ve grown, little Blight Weaver.¡± Ukalon murmurs happily while taking slow steps closer. ¡°No wonder the Fae want you cracked open like some poor beached clam to drink the nectar within.¡±


    Still too many! And¡­ and they burn and bite and now that she¡¯s here it¡¯s¡­ they¡¯re digging faster and I¡­ I can¡¯t¡­


    The godthing pauses just outside my shortened tendril¡¯s weak flip flops of warning. Their Amwella burning with patience and deep willingness to watch a rival bleed before pouncing. Can see how hard it is to burn away these feathers and keep a tendril free to keep them away.


    Amwella a pleased chorus of delight at the outcome they see, and know I feel.


    From the depths of my fear and pain and¡­ and everything else I can¡¯t help but whisper to the dark shard deep within my core.


    Please¡­ Help.


    A plea to my Dark Goddess.


    Fuzzy Fae spills out more. Hissing and trying to help bite and tug at some of the roots while my children hiss and growl songs of healing to try and keep up with the bite of these stupid feathers.


    Please! I whimper harder to the shard. Don¡¯t you love them? Want to keep them safe? This¡­ Ukalon will eat them! The Fae will unmake them or¡­ or worse!


    But¡­ Like always and before there is no answer. No crackling of Rift or Shift to herald the arrival I both dread and long for. So¡­ I gurgle and growl my song harder. Draw in more blight, more rot, more¡­ MORE!


    Fill myself with all the pain and spite and fear I can. Mush the Blight and Rot to drown my everything. Drink so much I¡­ I¡¯m starting to feeeeeel¡­.


    Nose and mouth and eyes and everything filling and gushing and burning with the spiced scent of Theradas.


    Ukalon hisses and lifts a hand to direct more feathers to shoot toward me. Smug confident belief that they won cracking into worry even as their new attack strikes my core and tendrils. Each extension a blazing spear of horrid pain that pins my Amwella to the dirt so they can watch me bleed and die just like¡­


    Heart rotting memories of my dad killing me oozes from my core. Dances and blazes like flame across parchment over my soul.


    Jellyfish giggle and yip in delight at the feast within. Nuzzling close at this eruption of our ocean into the Dream.


    Flesh blighting recollections of my sibling and Awnya¡¯s dad and so many others kindle the blaze to tear and bite and begin to melt anything and everything within me that isn¡¯t¡­


    And all around us my Shrike of Dream¡¯s End howls.


    Ruined happiness.


    ¡°Oh.¡± Is all the word this big soul gets before I¡¯m once again sinking regrowing Naranggas into my Rift¡¯s deepest core.


    Screaming all this pain into everything around me, and throwing us forward.


    Sea-Bed of a soul already an ocean of Blight and Rot sinking endless talons and teeth and claws to rip the godthing apart.


    And like a big tree falling on a scary panther¡­


    Ride my prey to the forest floor while sinking my everything into their¨C


    Almost drowning¡­ sucks. But at least the ocean seems to be doing that to this weird forest instead of me now. Didn¡¯t even like¡­ see the trees as the waves tossed me about and strange monsters nibbled at my toes.


    My everything is cold though. Shivering and naked and¡­


    Don¡¯t look down.


    Ignore it all. Easy. Focus on surviving alone. Just¡­ keep walking. Remember the lessons dad ta¨C


    Running. Run. Get away from the memories and the idea that maybe he¡¯s still hunting me. Can¡¯t even hear the yelling and cursing so I have to have gotten away.


    R¨C right?


    I slip a bit, stumble a few times and bonk more bruises onto my everything. But¡­ don¡¯t care. Stupid body was always wrong.


    Don¡¯t CARE if it gets torn up.


    Keep moving.


    Looking for¡­


    Then I hear it again. That¡­ really REALLY pretty song.


    A thing of life and love and promises of becoming everything I dream to have and be!


    So I keep running through this really pretty forest towards the rising melody.


    Ukalon¡¯s gone. But¡­ Not dead, I think? Just¡­ slipped away down some weird hole in their soul like before. Weird corpse puppet thing beneath me still and cold.


    Naranggas are already regrowing from the feast of soulflame I tore free of them. All the feathers have melted away. And¡­ that memory.


    My first time finding the edge of the Dead Dreamer¡¯s Wood and chasing the Fae Song.


    But¡­ I''m so tired.


    Forest floor around me seems a perfect place to¡­ to¡­


    [Lyra¡­?] Furthonois whispers gently and glides into view. [Dear? You¡¯re¡­ you¡¯re okay. The godthing won¡¯t come back after that. Not without Dreadweave at their back. Especially with how you managed to hurt their core with that Warform.]


    W¨C Warform? What¡¯s¡­ What¡¯s she talking about?


    Fuzzy Fae mupple soft agreements though¡­ and snuggles. Still outside the mebe parts of my soul and curled tight about my nuzzling Jellyfish and me.


    Right. Doesn¡¯t matter.


    Need to find everyone.


    Get us home.


    I rise and look around the¡­ the¡­


    Grass and vines and trees spread all about me and the dead body.


    I¡¯m back in the forest?


    But when I look back and around I see sandstone and pillars and twistings of the city just a bit away. So I dash free very quickly. Look back and it¡¯s like just an odd and kinda random grouping of vibrant life is sprouting up in the middle of this part of the city. But¡­


    Despite feeling the Amwella of the Rift on the other side, when I look through I can¡¯t see the rest of the city through the trees.


    Just the deep forests.


    [Well¡­ isn¡¯t that a problem? Seems that Warform has a few side effects that need to be considered.] Furthonois muses from my side.


    Raska¡¯s words tilt through my mind. How¡­ She never saw my forest. Just a sandstorm?


    Oh.


    I look down and can see the grass and vines and roots and pretty forest spreading outwards pretty steadily.


    Need to try and¡­ and do something about this!


    So I reach out with my Naranggas and song and everything to try and¡­ and pull it all back into me. Swallow this stupid amount of Blight I vomited out onto this Rift so it won¡¯t spread it and infect the people here!


    Can¡¯t Blight Theradas before we can save them!


    It¡¯s¡­ a lot. Thousands times heavier than Tretion ever asked me to take in all at once. And it keeps dribbling and making me sputter as I reweave it into the simplest thing I know how to make.


    Cool springwater like in the Fae Wood.


    Just¡­ turn this forest into a rush of soft cold sweet wet nonsense to soak the sand.


    Takes¡­ way too long. Enough time for me to be able to pull part of my attention away to reach out with my senses to feel for my Beloveds and Raska and¡­


    Safe.


    They skipped away to the far tower we claimed for this possible situation and are waiting. All are exhausted and a little bruised up, especially Awnya¡¯s Amwella, but¡­ No Fae. I think Raska burned any that didn¡¯t run when I started attacking to death.


    That helps me calm so much.


    Finish this. Get my lovers. Go home.


    Give them all my apologies and tell them all about this new Spirit who wants to help.


    So¡­ focus. Keep drinking in the Blight, weave it into soft and cool and gentle shapes.


    It¡¯s¡­ a lot. The amount of water dumped randomly into this odd side passage of my Rift. But also not a lot because the sands seem to drink up the water quickly. Like some big scary but very thirsty badger.


    Even draws a few curious people close to scoop up what they can before their fear of the forest or storm or¡­ whatever they see gets too much. Eventually leaving me standing alone with a bit of water around my toes and pretty damp from the entire effort.


    Still no Ukalon slicing their way back to try and fight me. Or the Fae.


    Sigh and fight to not just¡­ slump into sitting and resting for a bit. Curse¡¯s bite hurting so much as my soul wiggles in renewed size but¡­ so tired. But I push forward and instead I begin to reach out with my senses while beginning to prepare to sing my path to them and¡­


    Wait.


    Who¡­ is that?


    Such an odd¡­ something. Outside of the home of a Dark Goddess I can¡¯t help but check on. No Amwella but like¡­ a reflection within the Dream and¡­ weird. Really heavy, but like all that weight is balanced on the tip of a talon while something big looms without touching anything.


    Ignore it. Thendra¡¯s fine. It can¡¯t hurt her, prolly just some weird¨C


    Then it¡¯s gone.


    No.


    Wait.


    It¡¯s¡­


    Black glass. Forged over an eternity of focus to keep the twinned spirits I sense within safe from everything. Reaver instincts howl like nothing I¡¯ve ever felt, causing me to jerk around to see¡­


    A twisting mass of obsidian towers over me. Filling the space in front and behind. Totally silent and still. The identity of this thing is suddenly very clear to me from Awnya¡¯s fearful descriptions.


    The oldest Godthing.


    Dreadweave.


    And I¡¯m In the grip of this monster¡¯s jaws before I can begin my Reaver¡¯s Riftwalk to move.


    [Lyra run!] Furthonois hisses while her everything trembles in fear.


    I do try. The melody is on my lips and I try to scream us away and free from this thing¡¯s focus but¡­


    The weight of this thing coils about us all like a snake. My Naranggas twisting and flexing death to shield me as my Shift screams to move us but¡­ just like during my fight with Furthonois it pins me from escaping as sharp edges prick my Amwella.


    Ignore Reaver instincts. Snatch up all my Jellyfish, Fuzzy Fae, and¡­ and Furthonois.


    Need to keep them safe.


    Turn tendrils inside out for a second.


    Keep all my promises.


    Pull and tug and drag them all into the Mebe parts of my Amwella just before this thing crashes down over us.

 Chapter 133: Debtless Oaths

    <u>CW:</u>


    TRETION POV WOW! Um... talk of kidnapping and talk with an abusive cunt and worries about children being abused.


    The sand is still wet when we enter the building the trail ends at.


    Moving slowly and carefully to track Lyra was torturous. But¡­ important. We¡¯d all had to move and contend with weariness while also being so very prepared for an ambush from Fae or Godling.


    Knowing a single feather slipped past our defenses or wards could get us subdued and captured or¡­ or worse. And then Lyra could be in danger from trying to seek us out, or without allies to perform a rescue.


    But the Fae were already scattered, so we¡¯d mostly had to keep watch for the more expected monsters of Theradas. Things easily hidden from by Awnya¡¯s songs or scared off by our Everflame in full blaze.


    Our trinkets used to track her gave out a minute ago. Forced us to search by smell and song and sight.


    Leading us here.


    Everything is mildly damp, despite the dry heat of this city. Even the corpse. A short woman with no discernable or unique features. Long dead from her skin''s color and state but¡­ preserved.


    One of Ukalon¡¯s puppets. Taken from someone she slew but found their form an either amusing or useful prize to claim and knit into a new vessel for the Godling to venture forth in.


    ¡°Can you find us the song?¡± I murmur carefully as I look about.


    Trying to understand all the odd disturbances in the sandstone. Seeking signs of wounds or struggles.


    ¡°There¡¯s¡­ No. Even Lyra¡¯s Shift that she used to get here is gone.¡± She murmurs, lost in focus. ¡°Not even Blight smells. And this isn''t normal water. It¡¯s Spring woven. Like what you have our girl weave back at the Manor. If I had to guess, she dredged up Rot at the cunt and needed to twist it into something soft as to not ruin the Rift.¡±


    Ah, that would be a potent and useful weapon against this Godling''s puppets. And especially her feathers. Which... of course Lyra would possibly have been stung by and then used her Blights to remove.


    I nod at my Beloved¡¯s quick and well-honed observations of all this. ¡°But this amount seems excessive. More than she¡¯d ever do in a single session back home.¡± I add. ¡°She¡¯s probably exhausted. Both from the day, the fight, and this. Terribly so.¡±


    ¡°Enough to keep her from Shifting to us?¡± Raska asks. Voice back to her gentler raspy tone but¡­ Still filled with fury and barely steady aggression.


    ¡°No.¡± I reply, not even hiding my anger and writhing of headstalks. ¡°She was probably too weak to fight, and¡­ and taken.¡±


    Need to start looking. Now. Before it¡¯s too late.


    ¡°Naw, girl who could bleed Blight like this would melt any cunts coming for her before trying to save this Rift.¡± Raska rejects my words. ¡°She probably just¡­ found a place to rest. She mentioned during our walk back that she was having trouble Riftwalking.¡±


    But Awnya only stares down at the corpse. Thinking¡­ much as I am.


    She¡¯d have come to us before leaving this place. Never wanting to chance us being alone on this Rift. But if Ukalon already lost more than one puppet and was driven away... Only one could have subdued her. And I will not lay out their name before all safer culprits are disregarded.


    ¡°Beloved?¡± I prompt softly.


    Hoping so much she finds a trail or marking or... or scent that leads us to our Beloved.


    ¡°Ukalon tried to avoid a fight for a reason. Even warned the Fae if they were the type to listen.¡± She replies while rising, looking about for¡­ something. ¡°Lyra wouldn¡¯t stop fighting. Would think maybe she Riftwalked away but¡­ the smell would still be here.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ Where is she?¡± Raska presses.


    Awnya doesn¡¯t answer but¡­ walks over to a new and seemingly meaningless space. Kneeling down to examine something.


    A pause, and I can''t help but still and wait for the answers we all hope for.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s blighted tits and cunt.¡± She hisses after a moment, but with such¡­ pain as her eyes widen and turn to look up at me. ¡°I think¡­ yeah. She¡¯d been taken.¡±


    My everything splits between cold fury and burning fear as I ask. ¡°How long do we have to find her?¡±


    ¡°A few hours.¡± She rises. ¡°More if she¡¯s awake and kicking back, which she should be.¡±


    Not long before they drag her away to unweave and set whatever is left of our beloved to blaze in misery for another¡¯s desire for a new Fae Wood.


    Raska winces, already understanding who is the most likely being to defeat and snatch away our Beloved. ¡°Dreadweave?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Some marks here match the kinda stuff I¡¯ve seen them leave. Thin razor-like slices that seem odd and wrong.¡± Awnya replies without even looking at our Everflame. Spinning a song of Shifting.


    ¡°We¡­ Okay so¡­ take us to where they¡¯ll do it.¡± Raska growls, spark kicking up to dribble fury. ¡°They wanna turn her to kindling? We¡¯ll burn they¡¯re Woods to nothing but ashes for this.¡±


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    ¡°They won¡¯t be in the Fae Wood.¡± Awnya murmurs into her song. ¡°They¡¯ll have a new Rift picked out. Barely tilled. That¡¯s where they¡¯ll do this.¡±


    ¡°Okay. Where?¡± Our Everflame presses.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, and our trinkets can¡¯t track her beyond a few connected Rifts.¡± My beloved replies as she finishes her weary song and tugs us through to a different part of Theradas. ¡°And unless I can find Uldra and get her to sing the spot to us in time¡­ we¡¯ll be too late. Only feel it after it¡¯s done.¡±


    Raska looks about in confusion. Not recognizing the manor we stand outside of. ¡°I¡­ So let¡¯s go. Why are we still here?¡±


    ¡°Because I know a cunt who might have the answers we need.¡± My Beloved spits and glares at the doors.


    Things old and worn and all too familiar. A passage I only think on in my worst muses.


    ¡°Raska¡­¡± I say as I consider my Beloved¡¯s scheme and intentions. ¡°This is Lyra¡¯s old¡­ old home. Here in Theradas.¡±


    The place she still sometimes weeps to return to. A home filled with all kinds of torments and abuses and¡­ and such alluringly wretched certainties for a girl who desired a place to feel valued and wanted. No matter the pain she had to exchange for that.


    The Everflame jerks to look between us. Spark spitting fury and surprise and anger. But¡­ she pauses. Like an unseen voice tugs her to listen and consider something.


    ¡°What makes you think she can help?¡± Our duenna whispers. ¡°Or even knows where to go? Would help us and not just try to kill and eat us?¡±


    ¡°That cunt has been in and out of the Fae Wood, Dead Dreamers Wood, and everywhere else she shouldn¡¯t even know about. She also has oaths of neutrality with me.¡± Awnya replies, then whispers so gently. ¡°And If she betrays us. Or doesn¡¯t help, and we lose Lyra again I¡­ I¡¯m going to kill her.¡±


    And even though I struggle to understand the deeper motions of my Beloved¡¯s soul¡­ something within her shifts at that. Dims for a moment.


    And I worry for the Dream¡¯s End such an act would mean for my lover as Jellyfish nuzzle and continue to snuggle soft calm into our souls. Ever more and more aware of their mother''s needs and worries.


    Raska thinks on that, then nods. ¡°Sure. Alright. I can keep from burning the cunt if she¡¯ll point us in the right direction.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s also dangerous, her skills will be invaluable if Ukalon or their elder arrive to aid.¡± I murmur.


    Raska so plainly wants to argue but¡­ quiets. Nods again. Trusting Awnya¡¯s fury to lead us forward.


    I step up and take my Beloved¡¯s hand. ¡°Let¡¯s go then. Lyra may not have time for us to hesitate.¡±


    She squeezes me back, then rolls forward. Jerks the doors open and strides inside. Opposite hand on her dagger as the scaled parts sway to her steps.


    Inside¡­ The brood sits in the main chamber.


    I¡¯d never laid eyes on any but Thendra. And¡­ the eyestalks on faces I barely recognize unsteady me more than I expect.


    The ravaged parts of my family displayed as¡­ as these wretched grim mockerys to my eyeless stalks. Apparently, if Awnya¡¯s recollections and beliefs are accurate, literally a claim from my late cousin and a ring bearing Watcher Brewing techniques.


    A few jerk to look at us, souls and eyes filled with curiosity and hungers. The weight of the Amwella smothering probably quite uncomfortable to Awnya and Raska who do not bear my immunities to such things. The leader of this brood sits unworried. It even takes a heartbeat for those Jade eyes to slowly turn and regard us.


    ¡°Awnya of the Fae, Everflame Raska, and¡­¡± The fowl woman greets. Expression is one of melancholy with little hints of mirth but¡­


    Eyes never turn to our souls and the little ones within.


    ¡°Matron Tretion.¡± She finishes with a purr, even inclining her head at my title.


    ¡°There¡¯s no time for this.¡± Awnya spits. ¡°Dreadweave snatched up Lyra. Is dragging her off to a Rift so the Fae can unweave and burn her soul into a new Fae Wood.¡±


    Thendra quirks an eyebrow but says nothing.


    ¡°It¡¯ll be something recently tilled a bit. Hundreds of possible Rifts of a stupid number of sizes.¡± My Beloved presses. ¡°But you already knew that. You know where this is. Have been tracking the Fae¡¯s movements since Lyra killed Furthonois.¡±


    I expect Thendra to deny or deflect or mock but¡­


    ¡°What would you offer for such knowledge?¡± She only murmurs.


    My Awnya, who might normally snort and haggle or threaten, just pauses. Then answers steadily. ¡°Nothing.¡±


    The room goes still.


    ¡°You won¡¯t let this happen to her.¡± She snaps at the Reaver. ¡°You were already planning to go there, but haven''t. Are sitting here. Because you knew I''d come demand this.¡±


    Thendra lets the side of her mouth quirk in an almost little smile.


    ¡°Then why didn¡¯t you already help her?¡± Raska hisses. ¡°Here. Now. When we got jumped by the Fae and Ukalon and Dreadweave?¡±


    Thendra ignores her question though, eyes remaining focused on Awnya. ¡°And¡­ Why would I bring you with me to recover my Lyra?¡±


    ¡°No idea. But you¡¯re going to. And make sure we all get out safe.¡± Awnya growls, but keeps her voice low.


    The Reaver goes still as her clutch seems to lean away from her. But only for a heartbeat. Then the big woman grins at my Beloved. ¡°I will not refuse the chance to face foes with you again, Awnya of the Fae. Especially a hunt so¡­ familiar to our past battles.¡±


    My Beloved goes ridged with barely contained fury that sparks me to understand the insult.


    Their first time fighting together was against Awnya¡¯s father and Lyra¡¯s sibling. Family. And while Thendra did protect them and even allowed the attackers to leave unharmed¡­ she also did not to quiet the conflict before it would brew. Even sparked the first blows when she tilted her manor to blind everyone.


    The Reaver stands, slow and with the weight of this brood stirring with her but not rising. ¡°Then let us make this Oath. I will lead you to my Lyra, aid you in any conflicts against the Fae or Godlings, and ensure you¡¯re able to return to a place of your choosing. Will only seek conflict with you and yours if violence is offered to us first.¡±


    Awnya hesitates, glances back at me.


    ¡°As for afterwards?¡± I ask Thendra.


    ¡°All my previous Oaths will remain. With you and your Fae.¡± She replies easily.


    To remain away from the Manor unless I call, and neutrality with Awnya and those she claims. Which includes myself and Lyra and our children now. So¡­


    Where is the trap? And how quickly would she shatter this Oath?


    We need to know this.


    ¡°And¡­ The little ones?¡± I ask very quietly.


    Everything goes still at those last two words.


    Thendra herself, the Reavers, even the manor.


    Jade eyes regard me with¡­


    Nothing.


    Absolutely nothing.


    Empty of emotion like a cursed night devoid of stars.


    ¡°They will remain with us.¡± I state bluntly at that pitched stare, gripping my stave tighter as Amwella once again refills it under the looming wroth I sense aimed in our direction.


    It feels like an eternity passes before Thendra purrs gently. Voice¡­ strange. Quiet but heavy and filled with a weight I¡¯ve never before felt in her tone. ¡°Until such a time that they might drift. Yes.¡±


    Wretched. Something we will devote our everything to prevent them doing. Warn them of the woman who hurt their mother. But¡­


    I tear eyes away to regard my Beloved, nod my agreement. Awnya then turns to Raska, eyebrow raised in question.


    ¡°I hate this. Hate that¡­¡± Our Everflame growls openly but¡­ tails off. Then hisses past Awnya to Thendra, ¡°And just you. No other Reavers trailing behind or with us. They stay here. And¡­ if you break this Oath, or try and crack its letter to strangle the spirit, you¡¯re gonna burn Reaver.¡±


    Thendra¡¯s eyes glimmer, turning to regard Raska for the first time, but she nods.


    ¡°We agree.¡± Awnya turns back and growls. ¡°Take us to Lyra, help us save her so we can all go home. Then you can go back to being the horrid cunt you are. Away from all of us.¡±


    Thendra¡¯s grinning as she replies, all strangeness from before got between blinks. ¡°Come. The best pathway lies within the Rorliras at an old Watcher¡¯s manor.¡±


    I don¡¯t bother restraining my Headstalks motions of worry and confliction at that.


    Hoping so much it is simply the road to our Beloved and¡­ and not enthralled to the Fae¡¯s whims.


    Or worse.


    A Victim in their schemes.


    But¡­ I only nod. And let this monster lead us along the path to our Beloved.

 Chapter 134: Making Monsters of Her Children

    <u>CW:</u>


    Attempts to like... okay so its both murder, personality death, detransitioning, soul harvesting, and just rude tied up with roots that also go down your throat to stop singing all at once. Jellyfish eating Fae. Um... vomiting!


    We coo we growl we hiss we scream for her to let us out and Shift away and wake up because if the stupid little Fae doesn¡¯t we¡¯re going to die or worse be unwoven and broken and left to burn wrong forever and ever and we won¡¯t let that¨C


    We¡¯re howling before I even wake up.


    At least¡­ on the inside.


    Roots hold everything else totally still. Even our Naranggas. Soul tendrils wrapped tighter and harder and worse than even Thendra did when she wanted us to kill Tretion.


    Flesh finally stirs. But that part of us will be useless for another few heartbeats.


    W¨C wait.


    No.


    I¡­ I¡¯m¡­


    Pull myself from the smothering mess that strains within the mebe parts of my soul. It¡¯s¡­ so crowded. Bloated like some well fed tick.


    ¡°Is she truly secure?¡± A muffled voice attached to a soul writhing in fear and hope and other messier emotions asks.


    ¡°As much as we can do so without peeling at her Amwella.¡± A reply like heavy glass on wood responds.


    ¡°Good. You have our thanks for that, and¡­ for stepping outside the old Oaths to ensure this was done.¡± The muffled voice replies.


    Body isn¡¯t hurting but¡­ Can¡¯t move or really feel anything. Even my thoughts are slow and stuck in muck.


    Fuzzy Fae and Jellyfish and Furthonois are safe. Scared and angry but¡­ quieting. Kinda helping me adjust and figure out how to like¡­ find out what¡¯s happened.


    Eye¡¯s struggle to open. Blurry shapes slowly slowly coming into focus. Mouth is held shut though.


    More words happen while I blink away some of the muck and adjust. Trying to understand where I am and what¡¯s happening.


    ¡°Wait. You¡¯re leaving?¡± The soul with lots of worry sputters in surprise. Body finally gurgling into focus to show¡­


    Opherity. The old Fae lady Awnya and Tretion was arguing with when Raska and I found them.


    ¡°Yes. Why would we not?¡± Voice steady and cold and Amwella that weird reflective twinned mess of spinning sharp edges replies.


    That¡¯s Dreadweave. At the edges of what¡¯s not a fuzzy mess for my eyes to see.


    ¡°You¡­ This is important. A moment of rekindling for all the Dream.¡± The Fae presses. ¡°Ukalon does not surprise me with their lack of perspective around this but¡­ you strike me as a being that has stood and watched this Dream shift many times over. Is this event not worthy of your presence?¡±


    Cold fear begins to run through me.


    All the words and memories and¡­ and¡­ They caught me. I¡¯m¡­ They¡¯re gonna unweave me. Or¡­ or do worse and¡­ but¡­


    ¡°No.¡± Dreadweave replies after a moment.


    And then is gone before I even realize that weird glimmering across the twinned refracted soul is a Riftwalk.


    That helps me calm¡­ at least a little. Not enough to stop me from twisting and trying to scream and break free. Biting at this weird root thing that¡¯s in my mouth and apparently winding down my throat a bit and¡­ and¡­


    ¡°Shhh¡­¡± Opherity is whispering softly but¡­ not kindly. There is only disgust for me rippling across her soul.


    Didn¡¯t even realize she moved closer to the wall they rooted me to.


    ¡°Lyra, struggling won¡¯t help.¡± She murmurs, hand at my cheek but not touching.


    I glare, hard.


    ¡°It¡­ really is a shame.¡± She winces and sighs. ¡°That your mother didn¡¯t bring you straight to us. Let us elders properly see that your flame was well kindled and kept. Perhaps¡­ Then your Blights could have been settled. Letting us do this differently.¡±


    I try to hiss and spit and growl but¡­ even those sounds are completely muffled.


    The Fae pulls back. ¡°Do you¡­ Did Awnya tell you why we need this? Even present you with an understanding?¡±


    I let my panic still. Considering¡­


    Beloveds and Raska won¡¯t stop looking for me. Maybe even¡­


    Pour all my fears and pains and pleas to that little shard within my soul.


    Hoping someone somewhere will come save us.


    Time. Need to just¡­ get them all more time!


    So I try to look less angry and more curious.


    Opherity huffs and nods. ¡°Thought not. Her father and she tended to focus their work on more¡­ sporadic tilling methods. Closing pathways like that Watcher found and such. Even pointing Uldra toward dangerous Blighted sorts. But never the slow tending to the blazes. Does¡­ does this make sense?¡±


    Kinda nod with my eyes. Ignore all the mucky memories that bubble up behind her words. Keep her talking!


    ¡°Good. Clever girl. Because I know you feel the Dream¡¯s End, more than us Fae even. Drowning in pain and misery and¡­ and all the bad stuff like you are. Calling the Rot and Ruin to come sweeping in like some big wave from the sea at such slight pricks of pain.¡±


    I go back to glaring, just a little.


    ¡°This is why we don¡¯t give Humans or Cinderkin or Watchers or other messy sorts in the Dream Fae sparks.¡± She continues, with an almost sad smile in response to my bubbling anger. ¡°None of you can be trusted with it. All¡­ messy with Blights you¡¯ve grown up with. Cultivated like some foul garden waiting for rotted fruit to ripen. Ready to Ruin the Dream and the songs the rest of us have spent a few eternities trying to keep clean.¡±


    More souls begin to approach from upward and farther away. Fae, from the little I can sense. Following twisting passages that all seem to swirl towards this place.


    ¡°And while plenty have the good sense to end the suffering before spreading their nonsense, most don¡¯t. Not like us Fae. Taught and woven to wither the moment such things take root. Our songs of shaping naturally knit with the opposing melodies of unweaving.¡±


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    Start to panic. Realize from the wrigglies in her soul what this is. What she¡¯s doing. How¡­ how I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m not¡­


    ¡°But not you.¡± She murmurs, but¡­ with nothing but scorn and sadness. ¡°Because you¡¯ve been spreading Rot and Ruin and Blights before you even touched this Dream, haven¡¯t you? Cursed in ways we can barely understand.¡±


    Struggle. Get out. Bleed BLIGHT!


    ¡°Yuna probably tried her best, but was selfish and foolish to do think she could make a happy daughter out of you.¡± She whispers. ¡°We could have done this with so much less cost. Stopped you from Blighting so many with your misery.¡±


    Glare harder as nothing bubbles up. No beloved sea. No muck. No blood turning to blight or hissing songs of Dreams End as¡­ as¡­


    The others are here. A vibrant group of about half a dozen with flesh and shapes as diverse as I¡¯ve ever seen. But¡­ I can¡¯t even admire or despise these Fae for the comfort their shapes bring them.


    Because within their Amwella are the songs they mean to weave together over me.


    Jellyfish titter such worry. Fuzzy Fae hisses and growls and strains against the edges. Furthonois wincing in understanding.


    [I¡¯m so sorry, dear.] My Keshada murmurs. [Thank you for¡­ for trying to protect me.]


    No. No no no no! Please! We¡­ we just have to keep her talking! Give everyone more time to¡­ to come save us!


    ¡°But now we can set things right.¡± Opherity nods to the group as they begin to raise voices in song. ¡°Peel you from that mantle. Let the flame you brought to our Dream kindle to blaze as bright as we can. Burn away all the nonsense. And forge a new Wood for the Fae to thrive within.¡±


    Tears of blood and blight and fury and all my fear and anger finally pour out. Even sizzle and burn at the roots.


    But the Fae only seem to expect this.


    Letting their songs rise in opposition to the Blights.


    Using the radiating pain they see as a guide to begin cleaving away at my Amwella and form with their harmonies.


    It¡¯s¡­ nothing like Ganzorig¡¯s melody was when he tried to unmake me. Awnya¡¯s dad thought I was just a silly girl given a bit of Fae flame by my mother. So¡­ he just tried to smother it by burying it all under a mountain of song. Like dropping a bucket of dirt and rocks on a fire.


    It kinda worked.


    But the problem, as Awnya tried to explain one night when I couldn¡¯t stop falling into tears over his memory in her arms, was that the Fae spark he was trying to smother wasn¡¯t an addition to me. Wasn¡¯t the little gift Fae parents give to their children.


    It was me, and he¡¯d have killed me if it somehow got fully smushed. Which he would have realized and stopped before.


    These Fae aren¡¯t making that mistake.


    No they¡¯re cutting at me like¡­ like¡­


    What?


    Oh Dreamer¡¯s Tits does it hurt.


    But this is exactly what Thendra did.


    What her Reaver¡¯s did.


    Cutting and carving and slicing chunks away.


    These Fae are just more¡­ precise? Actually trying to find the lines between me and the mantle I consumed.


    But¡­ Where would they even¡­


    For a few seconds of song woven pain I think they¡¯re just gonna let the pieces peeled off me rot. But¡­ No.


    They¡¯re feeding them to the tree. Letting it drain the soulfire away.


    Keep fighting. Keep struggling. Keep¡­ keep¡­


    But what¡¯s the point?


    I slump as much as the roots allow, letting my everything fall into despair. Part of me hoping¡­ but no.


    It¡¯s too late.


    The Fae use that to guide their songs too. My sadness and tears and helpless silent whimpers an opening to slowly begin unraveling my tied Naranggas. Dissolving them like so much snow under the blazing sun.


    I¡¯m¡­ they¡¯re¡­ I can¡¯t stop them.


    Leaving me shivering and weeping without even a hint of pity.


    The harder I fight. The more this Dream hurts me.


    Always¡­


    That makes me angry again. Boils that despair to bite and hiss and scream and tear at everything.


    Rage at the life that won¡¯t stop hating me.


    Without even meaning to, straining to clear a pathway from the mebe parts of my soul so Jellyfish and Fuzzy Fae and Furthonois can slip free if they want to.


    Burning with all the fury of a girl denied just¡­ life.


    The Fae notice something is wrong when my Fuzzy Spirit wraps about my Soul like a cloak of angry bristling fur. Protecting me from their songs. The Fae begin humming questions into their melodies for the odd shapes they see begin to ward me from their work. Blocking off a lot of their peeling song and hissing soundless fury.


    Happiness.


    Jellyfish begin to hiss and spit and howl all the things I can¡¯t. Chirping my fury while paddling closer to the Fae.


    Things I won¡¯t let my children be robbed of.


    The song trips over itself as the weavers begin to thrum with worry


    Will teach them how to hunt and bite before foul sorts would take advantage of their soft kindness.


    As that thought bubbles through my soul. The first darts forward. Sinks teeth into Opherity¡¯s Amwella. And her screams end the song as the rest of the clutch dart forward to slam into her. Taking such¡­ huge bites of this Fae¡¯s core. Each chomp splattering the room with sparks of soulflame.


    The rest of the Fae panic. A few try to weave songs of something to stop them but¡­


    Opherity¡¯s place is this Dream has ended, and my little ones are already darting after their next feast. Consuming the rich and wonderful soulflame of this gaggle of Fae while my Fuzzy Spirit and Furthonois tug and pull and even tear a bite at my tendrils knotted mess.


    A few of the older Fae find a song that begins to wrap around my Jellyfish. Almost working to pin them so the rest can regroup and figure out what''s happening.


    Ignoring the mother who just got a limb of furious soulflame loose.


    Whip Crack Snap.


    Children are free to tackle their next meal as the one touching them with songcraft falls dead. His fresh and wonderful flame quickly dissolved and rewoven to restore the raggedy bits of my soul.


    Snap Whip CRACK!


    Shivering with the warmth these stupid Fae tried to peel off me.


    Crack Snap SNap SNAp SNAPSNAPSNAPSNAP!!!


    And¡­


    Jellyfish wiggle back to nuzzle close. Radiating warmth and love and protective everythings for me. Glowing a bit brighter than ever as their forms blaze with the glow of freshly consumed tasty Fae Amwella.


    All dead. They¡¯re dead. Stupid Fae are dead and their souls are melting into my Amwella and¡­ and I still can¡¯t move.


    Struggle and bite and hiss and spit and let Naranggass flail about like¡­ like¡­


    Memories of my Dark Goddess ripple through my mind. Of how she supported her big pretty body after she lost a leg. How¡­ How she somehow would grow those wiggly black tendrils between her legs to fuck with!


    She never needed a Song for that.


    How¡­ I turn the thought over to the Fuzzy Fae. See if it knows how to do that.


    It sways in though. Shares some ideas. But¡­


    All of them require lips and Fae Song.


    So I turn my focus to Furthonois.


    [I¡­ So now that you¡¯ve freed me from your inner Spirit I¡¯ve no idea what you''re thinking.] She explains. [Let me back in and we can share more freely.]


    I consider that, ask the Fuzzy Fae what it thinks.


    Warnings. But¡­ not so much for her. It¡¯s bigger and can bite if she tries to hurt me. And is pretty sure that even if it wasn¡¯t there I¡¯d pretty easily be able to shove her out again.


    But others¡­ we gotta keep them from the Mebe Parts.


    So I agree and scoop up this pretty Keshada again, then let her wiggle swim and glide back into the spots where I shoved her before Dreadweave snatched us up.


    Then I share my ideas.


    [Oh! Yes. That. Hmm¡­ I think I know the basics. Never needed it myself when Keshada Venom was so potent. Buuuuut¡­]


    She shares with me the thoughts about weird icky spells that hurt to¡­


    Oh.


    No, these don¡¯t hurt at all!


    Just¡­ wow these are SO messy! Nothing like Tretion¡¯s cute tools or Awnya¡¯s dagger or even that sword I used to kill you!


    Furthonois chuckles, even at that last part that would have upset so many others.


    Need to just¡­ reweave them a bit and think in inside out shapes and numbers with Furthonois¡¯ help and¡­


    A crack of thunder, and a Naranggas is wreathed in ruthless violet lightning. A screaming howling erratically pretty twisting that makes reaching down to pull all these stupid roots away easy as wiping muck off toes.


    Wood melts more than it tears or burns. The worst part is the mess they shoved into my mouth and throat. It¡­ it has these little prickly bits that bite and tear and it''s better to just almost swallow my Naranggas for a bit to melt it all into ash so I can vomit it up.


    Choke and cough and spit out the gross tasting mess as I struggle free of the withered bindings and stumble to the floor.


    Take a few deep breaths through my freed mouth and begin to gurgle some songs of healing and energy and hiding and¡­ then a Riftwalk.


    Curse bites, hard. But¡­ push through.


    Need to go ho¨C


    But the tree and Rift and everything all around me begins to shake in warning. And my Naranggas senses show all the wood around me beginning to fill with things.


    Vines and roots begin to crack free and reach toward me as one again my song is smothered by¡­ something.


    I cut off the Riftwalking melody and flair out tendrils wrapped in Amwella lightning to fight it all off but¡­ They still, then fold away.


    Can¡¯t help but growl at that.


    [Ah, a living ward against skipping in and out. At least for anyone but Dreadweave.] Furthonois sighs. [That¡¯s unfortunate, but it seems tied to this place. If we can find a way out to the wider Rift we should be able to leave.]


    Sigh and think wordless agreements and¡­ and thanks.


    This pretty Keshada wiggles happily at that, then she and my Fuzzy Fae nuzzle close as I step over the cold Fae corpses and head toward the passageways that hopefully will lead us out of this place.

 Chapter 135: The Weight of Her Dead Eyes

    <u>CW:</u>


    Memory of bodies burned and eye damage to others from flame. PTSD from seeing others die.


    Dead eyes. Some burned to stare while they melted, other¡¯s popped, but¡­ all glaring and so angry at me for helping kill them. Stinkin¡¯ up the sands as Raska¡¯s Spark chases off the ones Lyra didn¡¯t tear apart or the Everflame didn¡¯t burn.


    Those eyes hate them too. But¡­ not as much as they hate me.


    The Fae who helped shove them to their Dream¡¯s End and¨C


    ¡°Awnya?¡± My Beloved Watcher murmurs, and that pulls me from the mud of it. Alongside our little one¡¯s nuzzling while cooing sounds of gentle worry.


    The big cunt leads us through the spiraling mess like it¡¯s not even tilting at all the wrong angles and only kept soft and such by my gentle songs of peace.


    My Amwella twitches, hurts, but settles as I weave into my songs some soul healing and¨C


    ¡°Fine.¡± I half lie through my humming to her unspoken question. ¡°Just¡­ still got some smoke in my lungs, I think. Working it out.¡±


    Before I realize it, she¡¯s pressing a pouch of Springwater into my hands. ¡°Drink.¡±


    I don¡¯t argue, let the cool waters swirl around the wordless melody I keep rumbling.


    Reminding me of that old home by the beach dad and me liked to sleep at between trips. Of how his laugh would always rumble in tune with the waves and winds. His tears at hearing my first little songs of shaping.


    And then the smell of his ashes I dug my fingers into the pile left behind as something inside me cracks to shatter like nothing I¡¯ve ever felt.


    ¡°Thanks.¡± I huff and hand her back the pouch as I glare up at the big cunt¡¯s back.


    Everything cleared a bit more.


    Push the mess inside away and¡­ quiet my songs of healing.


    ¡°How much farther?¡± I demand.


    ¡°That depends on how much the Fae used this place.¡± She replies.


    ¡°I¡­ What?¡±


    The Fae didn¡¯t seem to like¡­ know or care about closing this place from what Lyra could sense.


    ¡°Can you not feel it?¡± Is the big cunt¡¯s reply.


    ¡°Feel what?¡± Tretion presses.


    ¡°It has been roused to bleed itself into a Rift.¡± Thendra answers.


    I go a bit cold at that, glance over to Tretion to see her head tendrils wiggling in some fierce anxious patterns.


    ¡°I was told this place is a sibling to my home. Able to weave new spaces from nothing but inspired soulflame.¡± My Watcher murmurs. ¡° I simply assumed the Fae would try to burn back the Blight and weave from the ashes but¡­ They mean to use this place? Don¡¯t they? Like they mean to use Lyra? Break them both into crafting a new Fae Wood that¡¯ll never end so long as the two of them are mingled.¡±


    Thendra pauses at one of the many infinite crossways. Glancing about like she¡¯s considering both which path to take and Tretion¡¯s words.


    ¡°Wait¡­ How could they have all this set up and ready to go? Know how to tame a Rorliras to obey them?¡± I ask. ¡°It was taking us weeks and weeks to just¡­ figure out how to get this place to close one little exit.¡±


    A pause, and just when I¡¯m about to press the cunt for answers¡­


    Songs dance down the tunnels.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± I spit. ¡°We gotta be careful fighting here. Any rough songs or blaze will get tossed right back in our faces.¡±


    ¡°And soulflame spilt will rouse this beast to greater fury.¡± The big cunt replies, then glances back to aim such a cruel grin at us. ¡°If they see me they will risk this place¡¯s anger to delay us.¡±


    ¡°Then what do we¨C¡±


    But she¡¯s already moving. Faster than a cunt her size should and with an ease that sets my skin to crawl but¡­Then she¡¯s perched in a twisting pathway that circles over us. Still within easy view to me and these two.


    Not to the three Fae that step from behind a curve though. Following careful songs of echoes and tracking.


    ¡°Heya.¡± I sigh with a smirk. ¡°Don¡¯t suppose you lot can cool your tits and give us¨C¡±


    But they¡¯re already twisting out into new shapes covered in claws, fangs, writhing tails, and a few spines that seem to drip venom.


    ¡°Ah. Well that¡¯s a shame.¡± I huff and grip my dagger tighter, beginning to increase the Amwella I¡¯m gifting it.


    Tretion keeps her stave quiet in respect to my warnings, but Raska growls. That spark of hers tittering in anticipation of a fight but¡­


    I reach out and guide us back a few steps, whistling a tune of request to this place. A thing to ask it to wiggle and twist about to dump some rude sorts down a long downways passage.


    But the trick my dad taught us doesn¡¯t work. In fact the place seems to hiss and twist opposite. The passage slipping to more solid shapes that let these hunting Fae prowl forward without even a worry of falling away.


    So I try to weave in songs of pleading and warning. Nearly desperate things to the three.


    Not for me or Tretion or Raska. Between us we could knock these Fae to the dirt. But¡­ because I can¡¯t help but see that same empty void glimmering in the big cunt¡¯s eyes as she waits. Not like some great predator of the deepest and most cruel places either.


    A storm devoid of anything, save the emotionless fury it means to dump on all the stupid gooses who don¡¯t take shelter before it strikes.


    Then the Fae pass beneath her shadow.


    And it''s too late.


    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°Little Sparrow¡­¡± I hear the words my dad gave me one night atop a Rift¡¯s highest tower, a spot that overlooks some grand half abandoned city. ¡°Someday, somehow, doing the work we do and bumping into dangerous sots that seem to abound¡­ someone will probably die. And you¡¯re gonna blame yourself. Which won¡¯t be true or probably fair to you, but even knowing that won¡¯t soften the ache overmuch.¡±


    One Fae¡¯s head and neck crack beneath Thendra¡¯s grip before¨C


    A little flitter song of my replying melody of question and worry to him mingles with the stabbing pain. ¡°Oh¡­ So, What do then?¡±


    The second is also dead before they can even begin to wonder who¡¯s very almost torn them in half from shoulder to hip with ridiculously terrifying strength. Blood gushing forth to soak the stark-white shell twisting floor.


    He grimaced in what I now understand to be pain brought from memories dancing through him in that moment. His bitter sigh a thing only understood by a man who personally struggled with his own visions of dead eyes and the hateful guilt bubbling up behind them.


    ¡°Well that¡¯s the tricky part. Sometimes you might hop past the pain right quick and only get a touch blighted every so often when the memories crack through. Nothing to worry over. But¡­ if this person was a kinder sort caught between bad melodies, that¡¯s where it hurts more.¡±


    Third Fae actually makes an effort to strike back with a triad of tails spinning with venomous barbs. But¡­ of course the big cunt just wrangles them all into a big hand¡¯s grip, totally unbothered by the sting of it all, while the other wraps about their face.


    Quick step to the wall, and she¡¯s slammed them into it.


    And three more souls are ripped from the Dream because of my actions.


    How¡­ how many does that make now?


    Dead eyes of memory and present flesh rotting in front of me pop open to glare.


    Too many. Dreamer¡¯s Tits. I¡­ I needed to keep my Beloveds and our children and Raska safe from the gaggle but¡­ but why did they need to die? Why couldn¡¯t I be better?


    Faster?


    How many more will I let die because¨C


    ¡°Beloved.¡±


    Only one set of flesh eyes now, and the love they brim with pulls me from the muck.


    ¡°I¡­ fine.¡± I rasp and cough. ¡°We should move. The lack of songs could be like a scream to others running about.¡±


    My Watcher¡¯s eyes and head tendrils writhe in worry, but she nods. Then takes up my hand and leads me past and over the corpses.


    Thendra¡¯s already moved on. Faster than before and with a pace that wasn¡¯t there before.


    Focus. Can¡¯t let this muck ta¨C


    ¡°No, Little Sparrow. You¡¯re eating of living bugs and such before your songs shouldn¡¯t bother you.¡± He¡¯d chuckled happily while my growing form perched happily on his forearm. ¡°The issue is your new ability to hear and move to the wider Dream¡¯s songs. Flames may die and sputter and rekindle, but for you to involve yourself with the ending of someone¡¯s part in the wider things reverberates back. Hopefully so little you hardly notice if it happens, but¡­¡±


    I¡¯d shuffled side-stepped over to nuzzle his soft beard and cheek, chirping little wordless things of love and support and¡­ and listening. Understanding now what little melodies he was trying to show and warn me about.


    ¡°I hear my dad¡¯s everything hitch and catch on the Ending songs.¡± Is what I told him. ¡°Big hurts. Sorry sorry!¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± He¡¯d leaned back into me, tears in his eyes. ¡°Tunes and melodies for the folks I couldn¡¯t save. Friends I lost. All hurt me, Little Sparrow. All are like weights about my neck. Someday¡­ Someday they might be what causes my hoof to slip and send me tumbling out of this Dream. But not anytime soon. ¡®Specially with you about.¡±


    I¡¯d chirped and sang and floofed my feathers so¡­ something at that. Sad for my favorite person¡¯s pain but¡­ so happy I could help him.


    It¡¯s the little Jellyfish nuzzling and nibbling and cooing worried soft songs that pull me from the memory.


    Raska is growling things. Spitting sparks and threats.


    ¡°Huh?¡± I murmur. Glancing about.


    We¡¯ve slowed. Tretion grips my arm as tendrils wrap almost¡­ protectively about me. Our Everflame stands ahead and between us and Thendra.


    The big cunt only glances back over her shoulder at us. Eyebrow quirked in amusement.


    ¡°Bitch wants us to split up.¡± Raska spits, not even looking back to us.


    ¡°I¡­ what? Why? We have a deal.¡± I sputter, ice running down my spine at the worry that she¡¯s just¡­ just been waiting for now to break our agreement.


    ¡°More Fae, and of greater weight, approach.¡± She supplies. ¡°The pathway to my Lyra is singular and easy to follow now. I can deal with these threats while you all move ahead and around.¡±


    I wince, picturing just¡­ just what she¡¯ll do to them.


    Consider all the dead eyes that slaughter would add to the pile in my mind.


    ¡°Beloved?¡± Tretion murmurs.


    Understanding, at least in part, the scars bleeding upon my soul.


    ¡°Yeah. Okay.¡± I hiss. ¡°Which way?¡±


    Thendra grins, then points to a twisted pathway to our left. ¡°You¡¯ll know the songs, Awnya of the Fae.¡±


    ¡°What Why are we¨C¡± Raska begins to protest.


    But I start to hear the songs of the approaching Fae and take up her arm, begin to drag her along.


    ¡°Why are we trusting that bitch!?!¡± Raska hisses.


    ¡°Because we¡¯ve little other choice.¡± My Watcher murmurs, but only pulls me closer. ¡°Awnya can¡¯t take more death today.¡±


    Our Everflame keeps walking but¡­ goes quiet. Eventually asks gently. ¡°The¡­ backlash?¡±


    Remembering our soft warnings to her about not killing while we worked to free the slaves of Theradas.


    ¡°Yeah. That.¡± Can¡¯t help but huff out a sad laugh at the words Tretion gave her for this.


    ¡°I¡­¡± She sputters. ¡°Is it that bad? Did¡­ should we have cooled our spark when¨C¡±


    ¡°Naw.¡± I cut her off. ¡°We reacted to their attacks. We''re being hunted by them. Pretty cornered.¡±


    The dead eyes hiss and spit at that but¡­


    No words to refute me.


    Too stupid and dead.


    ¡°But like¡­ Are you gonna be okay?¡± Our Everflame asks. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you be¡­ like¡­ singing some soft healing songs?¡±


    ¡°Most important thing to do is to not rely on your melodies to help quiet the ache.¡± My dad had instructed. ¡°They can help a touch, even give some steady ground, but¡­ overuse them and you¡¯ll start to weave pain to their notes.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ What doing then?¡± I¡¯d chirp asked while cleaning the feathers and perching on his knee.


    ¡°Find warm and good sorts to lean into. Like me or others you¡¯ve come to love and cherish. Don¡¯t give into the urge to hide and hurt alone. Let their songs and embraces keep you from tumbling.¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± I take a deep breath, then reply. ¡°Yeah. Refuse to be otherwise. This is nothing compared to¡­ to the last time I felt like someone died because of me. Just all at once and kinda unexpected. Been really careful since then.¡±


    Tretion smiles gently while I move from being led to taking the front.


    Following the strange undertones rumbling through this place now. Starting to hum soft steady things to parse out the source of the notes.


    ¡°You mean like... With Lyra?¡± Raska asks.


    I huff and shake my head. ¡°Naw, actually. A bunch of freed slaves got killed or recaptured. Alongside a girl named Nufera.¡±


    Raska tilts her head in confusion and lack of recognition.


    ¡°She was a lot like Lyra.¡± Tretion supplies.


    ¡°Too much for me to handle well.¡± I agree. ¡°But Tretion and Nelops helped me through it all. Kinda even found the girl later and got her to safety.¡±


    ¡°Huh. You¡­ both really did throw everything into helping people like Lyra after¡­ um¡­¡± Raska trails off.


    ¡°It helped us both heal.¡± My Watcher replies easily and squeezes my hand. ¡°Or¡­ at least bear the weight of the scars while they settled.¡±


    ¡°Also gave me an excuse to stay close to a girl I really liked the song of.¡± I chuckle.


    One of Tretion¡¯s head noodles reaches out to wribble through my hair at that.


    Raska¡¯s anxiety cracks a bit at that, and I glance back to see her smirking. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ kinda great to see. You two. I mean. I eh¡­ And how easily you both have pulled Lyra back into your arms. Was worried at first. That things wouldn''t be easy for you all. That you both and she had changed too much.¡±


    ¡°Honestly, just seeing her alive left no room for that worry to truly take root.¡± My Watcher murmurs. ¡°She¡­ If she did not wish to be with us we would have happily given her any spaces she needed. Tried to guide her to softer souls but otherwise remained distant if our presence proved too much a strain.¡±


    Raska huffs, ¡°I get it but¡­ That would¡¯ve been a mistake. Both if she pushed you both away or you let her.¡±


    Can¡¯t help but chuckle at that familiar ache. Something long settled as our girl burrowed deep into our lives, but still a fear. One that got kicked over like a rock to expose the cute critters beneath to a scorching day.


    A touch terrified she¡¯d finally cracked and gone back to Thendra. Despite her promises.


    But no. Out into the desert, of all places.


    ¡°Yeah, but it would have been hers to make.¡± I shrug, ¡°And we would have given her all the time in the Dream to reconsider that choice or¡­ not. Find her happiness with others.¡±


    Raska goes quiet at that. Might even be about to add something. But¡­ Then the weird stark-white shell floors and walls are twisted into soft yet vibrant browns and greens. Weird familiar textures and patterns and¡­


    ¡°We¡¯re here.¡± I announce and increase our pace as all other pathways seem to fade away.


    Leaving us only a few tunnels to follow.


    Can already hear the gentle sways I normally associate with one of the three Fae Wood.


    ¡°Gonna aim for speed now.¡± I say and reach to grip my dagger¡¯s hilt, start to hum songs of a summer gale blowing at our backs. One that catches my feathers as I spread them from my arms. ¡°This place seems more steady now. Any more Fae get in our way, move them. However ya need.¡±


    Tretion sparks up her stave to crackling obvious force, while Raska¡¯s spark skips to dance just behind me.


    Ready to tear, sweep, and burn away any cunts who would stop us from finding our girl. No matter the cost.

 Chapter 136: Heart of A Neverwoven Court

    <u>CW:</u>


    Turtles being pecked at by mean birds if they don''t keep trying to ugly sing. A nice home being abused. Hints at personality death.


    I hate this weird inside out forest. Stupid place muffles my Amwella senses to just Naranggas¡¯ touchy feely sight, and even then to just the tunnel I walk through. Even rumbles an almost song of not sure if it wants to return to sleep and quiet or¡­ or just unfold and become a loud forest!


    And¡­ I¡¯m pretty sure it needed the Fae to finish feeding me to if for that to happen.


    So I hate it even more then.


    Whip snap Naranggas out to carve at its ugly walls that bend wrongways inside. Looping in stupid circles that make it really really hard to understand where I¡¯ve been and where to go.


    I tried to gurgle little questions to see if it would let me out but¡­


    It only got mad and started to wake up again. Reaching out with vine and root and tendril to either eat me like the Fae wanted or¡­ hug me?


    And¡­ honestly I¡¯m not sure which is worse. The way the melody echoed was gross.


    So walking is all I can do.


    Feels like a few eternities pass before something changes.


    Amidst the dancing leaves and wiggling mebe branches, I hear voices and songs tittering through the passages.


    More Fae.


    Fuzzy Spirit nuzzles close while our Keshada watches quietly, and Jellyfish are asleep now but¡­


    Should I feed them again? I wonder but¡­ they brim with the snoozie energy of one with a full belly though, and the thought of more Fae souls for me to consume sets my Amwella to dribble with hunger and anticipation.


    So I prowl closer. Letting Naranggas curl and twist and bare all the sharp things in the Dream in preparation for this feast.


    Find a little nub woven from the inside out forest and¡­


    Oh.


    Two Fae that I recognize.


    A feathery one that Awnya loves as her teacher and almost second parent.


    Another adorned with red scales that spent her time tilling Rifts.


    Both bearing a curse of mine buried within their Amwella.


    Melivias and Uldra of the Fae sit in a still inside out Grove beside a little brook of gurgling almost river things. Spinning soft little almost songs that brim with¡­


    Sadness? Pain? Fear? Wh¨C what?


    B¨C but¡­ but the Fae they¡­ why would they do this to them?


    ¡°L¨C Lyra?¡±


    Jerk up to meet the eyes of Awnya¡¯s teacher as both Fae take in my form, songs faded from even echoing about the Grove. Want so much to growl and hiss and spit and tear these two apart for the happiness they stole from me and¡­ but...


    But my little ones wiggle snoozily from deep within their Amwella. Small and soft and so fragile without the feast of a godthing to make them big and strong enough to paddle through the Dream on their own.


    Uldra rises, eyes wide with¡­ things. Things I wish so much I didn¡¯t understand from the way her soul thrums. Such pain and sorrow and¡­ and guilt.


    Not from any nibbles of my Jellyfish. Those seem mostly healing and scabbed over. But¡­ from the burns and scars and ugly not very Fae girl she sees almost growling from the entrance.


    ¡°N¨C need¡­¡± I try to whisper.


    ¡°I¡­¡± Uldra stammers. ¡°Lyra, I¡¯m so sorry. For before and¡­ and where it led and¡­ and what happened with that Watcher you loved.¡±


    Look away. Wish so much I could ignore the way her soul screamed with the honesty of those words. And¡­ and the guilt behind it that grows and threatens to drown her as these two take in the messy broken girl before them.


    Burns and gaunt gross skin and hair that refuses to grow longer and¡­


    ¡°J¨C j¨C ju¨C j¨C¡±


    Tongue stubborn and words too heavy and mind to stupid to figure herself out.


    ¡°Anything.¡± Melivias promises without anything but all the patience in the Dream. ¡°How can we help?¡±


    Deep breaths.


    ¡°Wh¨C wh¨C wh¨C why,¡± I force out in barely a whisper that carried like a shout across this stupidly quiet room. ¡°H¨C h¨C here?¡±


    Awnya¡¯s second parent¡¯s expression turns horrified. Not at my words but¡­ but how broken they are. The sight of a Fae finding such an important part of her songs difficult to use. Guessing at all the terrible reasons I might struggle to sing and talk with the ease of her kind.


    ¡°We were abandoned. To be unwoven when this Rift blossomed.¡± Uldra murmurs softly with a pained sigh.


    I flinch at that, face probably a twisted mess as I hiss. ¡°Wh¨C wh¨C what?¡±


    ¡°We¡­¡± She starts, but trails off. Amwella thrashes in confliction. Like¡­ Kinda like a river that can¡¯t quite decide which way to flow and keeps dribbling down the worse path.


    ¡°You escaped them.¡± Melivias says after a few heartbeats of Uldra¡¯s wordless struggles. ¡°Opherity and her flock of fools?¡±


    I nod, then ask. ¡°O¨C out?¡±


    Stolen novel; please report.


    ¡°Our Riftwalking songs are smothered too. Else I¡¯d personally see you out of this place.¡± She sighs, then whispers gently. ¡°Lyra I¡­ My apologies are worth less than nothing, but I¡¯m sorry as well. I don¡¯t know the way out of this place but will try to find it with you if you ask. Will do everything I can to get you out.¡±


    Huff and gurgle angry sounds at that, but¡­ Her and even now Uldra¡¯s Amwella burn with such dedication to that.


    ¡°O¨C oke.¡± Is what I finally whisper.


    Awnya still loves her teacher, and Uldra¡­ She was taught bad songs. Like my mom. And Usete. Only wants to help and like¡­


    Huh.


    ¡°W¨C w¨C want t¨C to¡­¡± I murmur.


    Reach out with a tendril.


    They both go still but¡­ Amwella bubbles with something like trust. Worry at the big spooky Naranggas that reaches out, even with all the sharp bits folded away, sure. But don¡¯t even consider moving. Worry thrums too but not enough to make them try to stop me.


    Into the mebe parts of Melivias soul, careful not to hurt any of them, then out. Feel my everything and everyone within me coo and flutter in adorations for the little Jellyfish sleeping within my tendril¡¯s coil.


    Turn inside out. Then settle the little clutch into the safest places in the Dream I know of.


    Furthonois kinda sputters in a mess of worry and fear but¡­ also longing. A desire to hold and snuggle and care for them. So I nudge the pretty Keshada and let her feel all the trust I can.


    She offers wordless thanks and promises as she carefully curls about them. Radiates the most gentle things she can to help them rest well. My Fuzzy Fae lets part of itself wiggle into the mebe parts and join her, but otherwise remains more outside than usual. Hidden and ready to pounce if more threats appear.


    Then reach out and into Uldra¡¯s, and gather up the ones there too.


    Settle the clutch to sleep softly within the deepest and most soft places of my sea-bed of a soul.


    Both Fae¡¯s eyes are so wide as they feel and watch this. Their curses are still there but¡­ faded. Almost hollow. More like scars upon the soul than ravenous bitey things.


    ¡°What¡­ What did¡­¡± Melivias stammers, filled with hope and relief and fear and terror and such worry at whatever she just saw.


    But Uldra lays a hand on her shoulder and gives me a thoughtful look while regarding my big soul. Then lets her eyes meet mine. ¡°What else do you need from us?¡±


    ¡°O¨C out?¡± I whisper again.


    ¡°We know the path, but¡­ This place stops us from leaving the Grove.¡± Uldra supplies.


    I growl and huff, glare about at the stupid inside out forest.


    ¡°I¡­¡± Melivias swallows, Amwella wiggling into a pattern of firm focus. ¡°I can explain the route and song to you, then you can leave.¡±


    Escape? But¡­ alone. They¡¯ll be left here to rot.


    ¡°No.¡± I reply as Naranggas snap about.


    A pause.


    ¡°Lyra¡­ You can just¨C¡±


    ¡°A¨C a¨C Awnya m¨C m¨C misses y¨C you.¡± I cut her off with words and a hard look. ¡°F¨C f¨C family. T¨C to her.¡±


    She winces at that. ¡°I¡­¡±


    ¡°Then you¡¯ll need to find the Heart of this place.¡± Uldra supplies. ¡°Calm it or¡­ something. I don¡¯t know. The other Elders didn¡¯t explain this well enough for me to understand.¡±


    I nod. ¡°Oke.¡±


    ¡°Be careful. Please.¡± Melivias says just as I start to turn. ¡°I don¡¯t think this place is prone to kill or seriously harm without provocation but¡­ It¡¯s so very hurt. And wounded things struggle to know the difference from someone wishing to help them and hurt them.¡±


    Give her a look at that.


    She raises a hand in placation. ¡°Not¡­ I¡¯ve no double meanings there.¡±


    Sigh, and accept the truth I see wibbling through her Amwella.


    ¡°B¨C be back. S¨C soon? Ish?¡±


    Find the Heart? That¡¯s¡­ far too familiar.


    Old demands slice and cut through my mind at that.


    And of a Dark Goddess who commanded I do the same to a wonderful home. Then Undreka''s words about the Rorliras being a sibling to it. And¡­


    Focus a bit more on the songs rumbling through this place.


    Just how¡­ odd. They feel. Like some turtle trying to sing along with a songbird but doing it really badly. And now it¡¯s throat is sore and hurting and it just wants to sleep but the bird is pecking at the shell to make it come out and keep trying and¡­


    Suddenly the inside out forest bits and sad pained song and wrongways spiraling paths all make sense.


    At least¡­ kinda.


    [Interesting¡­] Furthonois murmurs from where she embraces the littlest of my Jellyfish. [Clever. Horribly so. They take a place capable of endless expression, alongside a soul that can burn Blight with ease, then combine them under wretched songs to force both into becoming what they demand. A new Fae Wood. Thoughtless other than what muses of such a Rift.]


    I growl and gurgle angry songs to this place. Let the curse¡¯s sting add to the melody.


    Things of sorrow and rage and fury and¡­ a request.


    Let me help you. Please.


    The forest howls at that, and for a moment I worry Melivias¡¯ words might be closer to truth things here too. But I add melodies of harmonic pain. Trying to explain what was being done to me before I killed the Fae and escaped.


    It pauses, seems to think in the slow ways wonderful homes and stupid girls like me sometimes have to, then burp-sighs its own request.


    I wince. Hum back my worry that¡­ that it¡¯s too big of a promise for me to make. At least¡­ at least right now. Without my Beloved¡¯s close to help me make sure it''s something I can do.


    Promise it everything else. Pleading with it to trust me.


    Share songs about its sister in the sea. How happy it is. Swimming about and gobbling up tasty Blight and holding happy souls comfortably inside its belly.


    I think, for a second, it¡¯s gonna get angry and try to smush me at that. But¡­ no.


    Just little songs of fearful pain.


    Reach out a hand to pat a root wall, murmur soft nothings of song to let it know that¡­ that I understand. What it is to be alone and hurting and sad and so very tired of this Dream.


    It rumbles its own messy response, then lets pathways shift and adjust and bend and break and¡­


    And before me is a chamber.


    A place of cold white shell and spiraling surfaces being slowly cracked and broken apart by horrid roots coming apart from all angles. With a cocoon looking thing snared at the center. Amwella bubbles everywhere too. Every now and again one pops and weeps and the Dream rots away the Soulwaste.


    I carefully wade through it all to the center and the wooden cocoon thing. Lay a hand on the wood, murmur soft songs that bring such painful bites from the curse.


    The heart, muffled and hurting, begs past the song it''s still trying to hide from.


    ¡°Oke.¡± I whisper, and draw up a counter melody to the thing the Fae wrapped about this place like some web. Push past that old curse¡¯s sting to bathe talons and tendrils in that violet Amwella lighting while trying to smother this¡­


    Thing of demand. Of ruthless desire. Of¡­ Of everything they meant to do to me.


    The Dream needs to burn.


    No.


    No not the Dream. At least¡­ not the Fae Wood. Those are soft places grown from the ashes of what they burn.


    The Blighted ocean and anything else that¡¯ll work as kindling.


    Can¡¯t help but think about that as I tear this cruel song apart with song and blazing talons and whirling Naranggas.


    Hearthfires, the spirits within, the Rifts and their songs and¡­


    But this song was already falling apart. Like everything else. And without me being forced to sing in harmony to it, the song easily cracks and withers beneath my efforts.


    Need to be careful though. These roots kinda were stabbed into the soft heart and are growing through it now, kinda like that one down my throat.


    Use a little Naranggas to burn them out and away and soon it''s helping me gnash and bite at the gross Fae things all about. I ask it to be sweet to Uldra and Melivias, and tell it about my Beloved¡¯s and Raska just in case they come here looking for me.


    It gurgles¡­ then reaches out to coil weird limbs about me and¡­


    Oh.


    Just¡­ wants a hug.


    Very goopy but warm and kinda weepy.


    So I adjust my song to things of soft safe sounds while hugging it back with everything I can. Even get to watch my Jellyfish wake up and nuzzle it close too.


    ¡°Oke.¡± I murmur through my song and look about. So glad to see the weird Fae things already pretty much faded away. ¡°G¨C gotta go h¨C h¨C home.¡±


    It snuggles me again, almost like it¡¯ll never let me go. But¡­ gently releases after a few moments. Only grumbling questions.


    ¡°B¨C back. H¨C help. Pr¨C pro¨C promise promise.¡±


    It wiggles happily at that, then pulls up some of the shells about and click-clacks them about itself for protection as it begins to heal its wider self. Very sleepy, but still able to twist to make sure I¡¯ll be able to leave.


    But then it asks about the others inside though.


    What others? I sing back.


    The two Fae I promised won¡¯t hurt it and should be allowed to leave. And¡­ a group. Three with little ones like the ones in my soul rushing through the passages.


    I almost yelp in surprise and joy and relief that my Beloveds are safe and already coming for me but¡­ there is one more mentioned that stills me to tremble in terror.


    Her Amwella and body and everything like a Storm.

 Chapter 137: Teachers, Tillers, and The Student They Learned From

    <u>CW:</u>


    AWNYA POV!!! Talk of being killed. Getting ready to talk to an abuser. Um... wow. Wowowowow. Lyra''s first worbs with a certain woman since Arc TWO! WOW!!!


    Can¡¯t help but hiss like I haven¡¯t sense¡­ I dunno. Maybe ever.


    This horrid and weird inside out forest started to crack back to the stark white sea-shell shapes a few turns back. Opening all sorts of little slips of passages we could easily trip down and get lost through. Almost as bad as it was when I was here near a decade ago.


    ¡°Beloved?¡± Tretion asks, tightening her grip on my hand as to make sure if this place sends us tumbling she and I will fall together.


    ¡°Just¡­ We got Fae ahead.¡± I growl and steady my pace from our near run to a fast angry strut. Then look back to lock eyes with Raska. ¡°No burning them. At least¡­ not yet. I need to get some answers from ¡®em.¡±


    Raska quirks an eyebrow as her Spark blazes in curiosity.


    ¡°I know them. Didn¡¯t¡­ Didn¡¯t think to find them a part of all this.¡± I explain.


    ¡°Should we really spare them the breath?¡± Our Everflame asks.


    ¡°They could know the fastest path to Lyra.¡± My Watcher murmurs softly.


    Can¡¯t help but want to pin her to these stupid walls and kiss her for that. For¡­ for just¡­ trusting me. Not questioning this tilt from finding our Beloved to question these two. But I settle for a good squeeze of her hand and increase our pace.


    Find the two wandering the paths in an almost¡­ meek and careful way. Ears and feathers and all else perked up like they expect the same kinda dangers we do.


    Don¡¯t even try for my song of stealth.


    ¡°Awnya!?!¡± Melivias calls as I roll forward.


    Despite her easily being a head taller I end up with my face really close to her¡¯s as I growl. ¡°All I want to know before you tell me where to find her is¡­ is why. Why you¡¯re a part of this?¡±


    My old teacher and basically second parent¡¯s expression twists into a thing of such pain. ¡°She¡­ She¡¯s gone to find the Heart of this place. Help it shake off the barbs of this wretched song they tried to weave about it and her.¡±


    She¡­ She¡¯s already pulled free? And¡­ Wait. She called this song wretched. Which¡­


    ¡°And your parts in this was¡­?¡± My Watcher presses past my silence.


    Glance over to see Uldra¡¯s eyes locked on Tretion. Full of surprise and some fear but¡­ mostly a type of cracking somethings at seeing her alive and well.


    ¡°We¡­¡± The red scaled Fae murmurs. ¡°To help deal with any Blights that might spark up from Lyra. But¡­ but more personally to make sure they didn¡¯t mess this up. To try and make sure Melivias got to speak with you and her without worry of the others trying to do¡­ well¡­ exactly something like they tried.¡±


    ¡°Wonderful. Did a great job of that. Now, how do we get to her?¡± I spit and take a step back. Glare about the still shifting passages.


    ¡°The path is in the painful songs.¡± The scaled one stands and offers, eyes locked on Tretion. ¡°Hard to spot beneath it all but¡­ easy to follow once you find it.¡±


    Take a second to listen, sift through all the weird little melodies tittering through this place and¡­


    ¡°Good. Perfect.¡± I snap and turn to walk around them.


    Already set to leave these two as I find the base harmony of this place.


    ¡°Little Sparrow, I¡­ wait. Please.¡± Melivias calls out, taking a step after me.


    I want to keep walking. Know I probably should but¡­ Instead glance back and raise an eyebrow in question.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. You were right. About her. Lyra.¡± The Fae lets out in a huff of words. ¡°She deserved better from our kind.¡±


    That sparks all the pain and worry and barely starting to wither bad stuff bubbling inside to lash out in a song woven snarl. ¡°Is that why you sat around and let them hunt her? Both ten years ago and now? Didn¡¯t find and warn me of the trap they laid in my dad¡¯s home? No. You knew what kind of help they were offering. Knew what they would do if she didn¡¯t start singing the songs they wanted. Unweaving and a slow songless death, or trapped alone in another Rift bound by one of Uldra¡¯s little monsters. Did you know about this too? This¡­ this horrid rotten Dreamer Blighted scheme?¡±


    A long pause passes as my furious song of anger fades, my old Hawk¡¯s face a pale pained thing. Mouth half open and only letting out wordless muddling nothings.


    ¡°We tried to stop them.¡± Uldra offers, but quietly. ¡°First in their search when they discovered she was alive and bearing Furthonois¡¯ old mantle, then¡­ then especially when they found this Rorliras here. When one of the bloodied Fae from the Deep Forests brought them to the heart and started teaching them the songs. Every step. Endlessly.¡±


    ¡°Just¡­ sounds of little songs of refute isn¡¯t trying to stop them.¡± I hiss. ¡°So glad to hear that as you sit in here singing sad songs instead of trying to help her.¡±


    ¡°We¡­ Awnya¡­¡± Melivias stammers, feathers all a ruffled mess before drooping. ¡°We did more than that. Were about to do more but they trapped us in a little grove here. To be unwoven when this place would become the new Fae Wood.¡±


    I go stiff at that, anger falling to dead ash. ¡°What.¡±


    They¡­ my teacher? One of the best Tillers of the Fae? Just¡­ They were gonna force them to die here? Kill them?


    The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    ¡°Said Lyra¡¯s curses upon us were an infection that needed to be purged. Mulched.¡± Uldra explains, face still stricken, then turns to my Watcher. ¡°Tretion? Awnya said that¡­ that you were¡­¡±


    ¡°I died. Yes. Soon after we escaped your Twilight Court.¡± Tretion replies, cautiously taking in all this. ¡°Awnya and another reversed that. But¡­ after we believed that Lyra was gone. Only stumbled into her in recent months.¡±


    Uldra swallows, looks down to stare at Tretion¡¯s and my joined hands and the way these head tendrils still tilt toward me.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m glad. And I¡¯m so sorry.¡± She whisper, voice a pretty broken and pained thing. ¡°For all of it. Before and now and... and for how long it was before you-¡±


    Tretion nods, moves to tug me along before she can finish. ¡°You¡¯ll understand I¡¯ve little time to consider that. We need to find our Beloved Bound.¡±


    Uldra nods. ¡°It sounds like she¡¯s already found the Heart and helped it start to shake all this off. Go. We can get out now.¡±


    ¡°Awnya I¡­¡± Melivias murmurs such¡­ pleading in her voice and eyes.


    ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ come find you. Later. Maybe quite a bit later but¡­ I¡¯ll let you hear my songs again, Old Hawk.¡± I reply and tear my eyes away to follow our trail.


    But Raska hesitates.


    ¡°One question.¡± Our Everflame states evenly. ¡°Other than Lyra you¡­ seen anyone else about?¡±


    Pause and let my ears perk up at that¡­ very clever question.


    Haven¡¯t seen Thendra since she stepped away to¡­ to handle all other Fae about.


    ¡°Not since they left us in that Grove, no. Just Lyra.¡± Uldra answers.


    I let out a sigh and nod. ¡°Good. Get out as fast as you can. There are more dangerous sorts around than bloodied Fae.¡±


    Without looking back I know they want to ask an eternity of questions, but they keep those notes unsung as we turn to continue. Move through half a dozen more more shell-like passages, turn a corner and¡­


    Find the big cunt waiting.


    Leaning against a split in the passages with her arms crossed and back to us. Only turns those Jade eyes to glance back as we freeze.


    ¡°My Lyra waits just ahead.¡± She purrs.


    ¡°Yeah, perfect.¡± I snarl, reaching back to snatch up Raska¡¯s wrist and pull us all past Thendra before anything like a conversation can happen.


    The big cunt doesn¡¯t say anything, but¡­ I still catch how her expression is nothing but smug and horrid and¡­ And screams how this is all still part of her plans. How she could have come here and gotten Lyra without us even knowing.


    Turn down another path. Don¡¯t even feel the Reaver at our back, despite my mind and heart knowing that she¡¯s following close. Just like back in the Fae Wood.


    Always wondered if it was the Bloodied Fae I was sensing or¡­ or her Reavers.


    Then I see and feel and hear how everything seems to tilt inward toward a chamber ahead. The mentioned Heart of this place.


    We gotta get our girl and little ones away. Get them safe and away from her. But¡­


    Increase my pace.


    Isn¡¯t that her scheme too? Everything she wants? For them to be with us in the manor and¡­ for us to help them grow up? Even when Tretion told her without a missed note that we¡¯re keeping these little ones away from her she just¡­ Without anything behind those eyes telling us that she¡¯ll wait for them to ¡®drift¡¯.


    And then I see Lyra, and my fear becomes tinted with relief.


    She¡¯s¡­ a mess. Stripped to bare scarred flesh and splattered with a bit of fresh eck of some kind or another. Sea-Bed of a soul and little ones within even more vibrant than the first day we met them. Soul tendrils out and about and coiling like a den of vipers roused at endless attacks on their treetop burrow. Even think I¡¯m catching glimmers of a shadow of that Fuzzy Fae Spirit with how it¡¯s probably all riled up at everything.


    But¡­ alive, and looking our way with a shy pained smile already.


    ¡°S¨C sss¨C so¨C sorry.¡± She whispers.


    The little ones in Tretion and my soul coo and yip in delight at the sense of her, then dart out faster than a quick breath. Slamming into their mother¡¯s soul with reckless joy and abandon. Setting our girl to teeter and nearly fall from the impact.


    Barely a whisper behind, Tretion and I cross the space to wrap her in our everything. Raska coming close with a steady arm about Lyra where she can.


    Our returns the embrace with more force than the three of us and all our little ones combined it feels. Struggling to mumble that same apology over and over.


    ¡°Are you hurt?¡± Tretion murmurs past. Head tendrils are barely able to do anything but nuzzle and grip at Lyra¡¯s hair and head and shoulders.


    Our girl huffs out a breath and shakes her head.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± I sigh in the obvious relief I know she''s feeling from my soul. Then whisper. ¡°Good work. And¡­ and I¡¯m so sorry. About this. No idea what went wrong but¡­¡±


    ¡°St¨C stupid.¡± She mumbles softly, only barely relaxing into our embrace. ¡°D¨C did¡­ stupid th¨C things.¡±


    ¡°I very much doubt that.¡± Our Watcher murmurs, kneeling and adjusting to meet Lyra¡¯s gaze. ¡°But¡­ we need to leave. Get home.¡±


    Lyra nods. But¡­ Eyes and Amwella and everything filling with such¡­ such fear as she easily senses the soul behind us. Already putting together why that big cunt is at our back. How¡­ how we needed her help.


    ¡°You¡­ We didn¡¯t know anyone else who could get us here quick enough.¡± I try to explain. ¡°And she¡­ we made Oaths. She gets nothing from us, will even keep all our old agreements and such and¡­¡±


    Our beloved nods again. Pulling all her Jellyfish close as those violet eyes close.


    Takes a deep breath.


    ¡°Beloved¡­¡± Tretion whisper so softly, hand moving to cup Lyra¡¯s cheek. ¡°You don¡¯t need to gift her your words. Awnya or the Heart you seemed to have befriended can lead us home.¡±


    A shake of our beloved¡¯s head sends a pained jolt through my chest.


    And a second, worse than the first when she whispers, eyes drifting open. ¡°Promised.¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Tretion nearly growls. ¡°You do not owe her anything.¡±


    ¡°W¨C w¨C want. T¨C t¨C to.¡± Lyra whispers, eyes still locked on the floor. ¡°S¨C say g¨C g¨C goodbye.¡±


    Tretion¡¯s eyes and tendrils wiggle in worry at that.


    When¡­ What promise is she talking about? Exactly?


    ¡°Big cunt isn¡¯t owed that either.¡± Raska growls.


    Lyra swallows, opens her mouth to reply but¡­ no words come out. And I can¡¯t help but feel like she could keep us here for a few eternities trying to find the things to untangle the mess in her chest.


    Instead she just lets her eyes flit up to Tretion and mine, ¡°K¨C k¨C keep promises t¨C to you. J¨C just¡­ pl¨C pl- pllll plee.... please.¡±


    Don¡¯t need to look over at my Beloved or feel her tendrils writhe in terror at that. But¡­ also love and trust. Our girl¡¯s a mess. Just¡­ not in a way that¡¯ll see her walk back into that abusive cunt¡¯s care. Not while she has better things waiting for her and these little ones in our arms.


    ¡°Okay.¡± I reply. ¡°I don¡¯t like this but¡­ okay. I get why you need this.¡±


    ¡°And I¡¯m not going to release my grip on you till we¡¯re back home. Maybe even a few eternities past that even.¡± Tretion adds firmly.


    Lyra bites her lip so hard it bleeds at that. Drags us back into the tightest hug in all the Dream. Only Pulls back after a few eternities have passed.


    Only lets her eyes drift past us after both her hands rest firmly in ours.


    Only gathers up the courage to step forward and past when Raska lays a hand on her shoulder.


    The big cunt has been waiting by one of the twisting exits this entire time. Not moving. Not¡­ even sure if she¡¯s breathing. Honestly.


    Jade eyes locked on our Beloved.


    Waiting for Lyra to speak.


    But¡­ she doesn¡¯t. Soul doesn¡¯t writhe about like it does when she¡¯s struggling to find the right words or get them out. Our girl just trembles as she stares at the cunt who hurt her for years and years while I didn¡¯t even know she was alive or¨C


    ¡°Why ask if you know the answer?¡± The big cunt purrs as if answering a question.


    Wait. Wh¨C what?


    I jerk a bit to glance between them, torn between spitting at Thendra to go away if she¡¯s gonna toy with our girl but¡­ Lyra huffs as seems to sway in annoyance and thought while looking away. Then glances up like she¡¯s giving a reply.


    Oh.


    Memories from all those months ago flash back to snap through me like a bolt of lightning. Of¡­ of me being tied up and Thendra sending Lyra off to kill Furthonois. It¡­ didn¡¯t seem important as I chased her down and brought our girl back and locked us all up safe. Or after as we helped her heal. But¡­


    How were Lyra and Thendra communicating when our girl didn¡¯t have a tongue?


    ¡°There is no safety in this Dream, my Lyra.¡± The big cunt purrs her answer our Beloved''s unspoken question.

 Chapter 138: Finding a Faes Fury

    CW:


    Possessive and abusive touching. LYRA POV. Talk of children being hurt. threats of murder. Lots of abusive words and ways. And a little Fae finding a little fury for a certain big cunt.


    That¡¯s why you aren¡¯t going to stop me from leaving here with them. Be¡­ because our manor isn¡¯t really like¡­ in the Dream. At least¡­ at least not to the Fae.


    ¡°Beloved¡­¡± My Watcher murmurs. Amwella twisting and thrashing in horror at what her brilliance is already realizing.


    [You really shouldn¡¯t be doing this. Not here. Not without a few good Wards between you and her.] Furthonois murmurs while wrapping about the smallest of my clutch. Slowly growing more worried as she feels the weight of my Dark Goddess¡¯ gaze on all within me. Like¡­ like some big storm prowling over my Sea-Bed of a Soul.


    Thendra only stares, though. Jade eye¡¯s shining so bright.


    Why not just¡­ Like¡­ Tell them. Us. Now? Tell us more about our children. How to keep them the safest possible? And if you led them here why not help when the others attacked before!?!


    ¡°Was I needed?¡± My Dark Goddess replies, tilting her head.


    I¡­ No but¡­ But I only barely escaped! And only because they¡­ our Jellyfish grew big teeth and¡­ and¡­


    ¡°What?¡± Raska stammers from behind. Supportive hand on my shoulder not wavering as her voice cracks. ¡°What the fuck is happening?¡±


    You wanted them to learn how to hunt? How to kill?


    Jade eyes only glimmer in answer. Filling with¡­ annoyance. At me. For asking a stupid question.


    Fuzzy Fae growls and bristles at the Storm and the shard within that links us to her but¡­ just like a real storm Thendra doesn¡¯t care about the protective fury of even the most scary fox born Fae.


    Squeeze my eyes shut to try and¡­ and focus past all the distractions.


    And¡­ those Fae would have hurt them too? Wouldn¡¯t they? Our Jellyfish. If they could find the manors to pair them with. Burn them all away just¡­ just to get more stupid Fae Woods? Or unweave them because of how they''re from the Blighted ocean?


    ¡°Had they survived.¡± My Dark Goddess chuckles.


    ¡°Lyra.¡± Awnya moves forward to stand between us, facing me.


    Open my eyes, knowing the expression will match her soul''s sheer terror and pain and anxiety. But¡­ find only the softest look in the Dream for me. Amber gaze only amplifying the love bubbling hot in her soul.


    ¡°This isn¡¯t okay.¡± She speaks softly but¡­ words are like a mix between a growl and a plea. ¡°You know that. Tell this cunt to leave and let¡¯s go home.¡±


    Huff and look away. ¡°S¨C sorry. F¨C f¨C fa f¨C fff¨C fast¨C ter Th¨C th¨C then St¨C stu¨C stupee¡­¡± Growl at the word and skip over it. ¡°T¨C to¨C to¨C tongue.¡±


    A pause as our Fae¡¯s expression tears even more at the unspoken things. But then Tretion¡¯s hand slips around to pull me to face her. Head noodles all a wiggle with pain and anger that¡¯s sparking through her perfect crimson eyes. But¡­


    Not at me.


    ¡°What did she do to you?¡± Our Watcher growls in a way that makes all the trembles I¡¯d been keeping inside start to leak out.


    For me.


    ¡°J¨C just¡­ I¨C it¡¯s n¨C not¡­ W¨C w¨C we¡­¡± I stammer as I feel locked in place by those eyes. Trying to¡­ to explain.


    But failing. Because there''s nothing to say. I¡­ I gave Thendra my everything. And didn¡¯t say a word as these amazing souls pulled me into their manor. Just¡­ too stupid and terrified they might try and pull this gift free from my Amwella.


    Tretion¡¯s stave burps as our Watcher¡¯s fury dribbles to light it with even more of her Amwella. Eye¡¯s slowly drift to glare at my Dark Goddess as her tendrils tilt to wrap about me protectively.


    Raska spits fury and steps up to my side, her own glare on Thendra as eyes and spark hiss such anger.


    What?!? No they¡­ they should be mad at me! I went to her! Asked her for¡­ for this! Adored being¡­ being so seen and not needing stupid words to be understood!


    ¡°St¨C¡± I try to force out.


    But the words are too raspy and scared and quiet. Too broken.


    Like me.


    ¡°We¡¯ll find our own way out.¡± Awnya growls, rounding on Thendra and seeming only not to try and lunge do to the hand still gripped in mine. ¡°Leave.¡±


    ¡°N¨C no.¡± I force out but¡­ Still not loud enough! Barely a whisper. So I scream through our bond.


    Stay. Please! I¡­ I have more to ask! And¡­ and more to say and¡­


    ¡°Then this Oath is settled.¡± Thendra purrs past and over my soul-shouted words. ¡°I trust you all to escape this place now that it¡¯s softened edges and tilts all within to leave.¡±


    ¡°N¨C no!¡± I growl and snap and nearly scream with lips and soul.


    Everyone stops to turn and look at me with expressions of pain and worry and¡­ and all the stuff I don¡¯t understand or want to think about.


    ¡°Beloved. We need to get home.¡± Tretion replies, pulling me ever closer. ¡°We¡­ This is worse than I imagined it could be.¡±


    Except Thendra. My Dark Goddess ignores my demands and¡­ and just turns to leave!?!


    I growl and try to shove past to¡­ to stop her! Chase her if I have to! But my Beloveds grip me tight and don¡¯t let me go. Even Raska kinda wraps an arm about my hips and pulls me back.


    ¡°Pl¨C pl¨C pleeee¡± I growl and hiss and spit. ¡°M¨C m¨C mo¨C move.¡±


    Let me just¡­ talk! Please! I need to¡­ to see your eyes. At least for this last bit.


    ¡°Nope. Not a chance. This was a horrible idea and that was before I knew about this. Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± Our Fae whispers while wrapping herself all about me. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. Gonna get you home. Figure out what¡¯s letting her do this and like¡­ get it out.¡±


    Don¡¯t go still but¡­ pull my tendrils close to try and nudge these wonderful souls away.


    ¡°Gr¡ª B¨C bu¨C N¨C not¡­¡±


    Not like this. I can feel her leaving. Walking away. Not stopping or hesitating in body or Stormy soul or¡­ or anything!


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Our Watcher murmurs into the embrace, tendrils and soul all about our little ones and Raska and even the Fuzzy Fae she can¡¯t tell apart from me. ¡°It¡¯s okay. Beloved. We¡¯re taking you home. We¡¯ll¡­ we can get this out there. I¡¯m so sorry I¡­ I didn¡¯t see it before.¡±


    She¡¯s¡­ You¡¯re leaving me? My¡­ but¡­ Did¡­ What did¡­ But I kept my promise! I¡¯m here! Didn¡¯t¡­ didn¡¯t even tell my Beloveds about the Shard! Never have done anything but what you told me to do and¡­ and even kept my little ones safe! YOUR little ones! O¨C OUR little ones that you just¡­ let me think were just odd little friends I found and adopted in the Blighted ocean or Curses and Fae words coming to grow from my Soul!!!


    Growling and hissing and spitting and tearing the Dream apart before I even understand the thought. Singing my Reaver¡¯s Riftwalk through the curses bite to pull away and land in front of my Dark Goddess.


    Naranggas flaring out to block all paths around us as I glare up at her. My Beloveds and Raska dashing after us but unable to shove past my solid wall of tendrils soul tendrils.


    ¡°Lyra, girl this¡­ Don¡¯t do this!¡± Our Fae calls past it all.


    Not alone. Have Jellyfish and Furthonois and Fuzzy Fae Spirit close.


    ¡°Wh¨C wh¨C whhh¨C why?¡± I try to spit my first question back up at her. But¡­ but the stupid words won¡¯t work! Keep tripping over this stupid tongue and¡­ and¡­ but I¡­


    Raska starts to shout something but¡­ Tretion holds up a hand. Stopping her words.


    Eyes lock with mine.


    And my Beloved''s soul still sings with¡­ with all the terror and anxieties and hope and trust in the Dream for the stupid broken girl who stares back at her.


    For me. She hates this but¡­ Can¡¯t stop me. Even seems to¡­ to support my anger and demands? At least a little? Maybe even wants me so much more furious?


    Want so much to wrap tendrils about their souls to bask in their endless love but¡­ can¡¯t. Can¡¯t let my Dark Goddess feel them any more than she already does through me.


    Turn back to find Thendra smiling as she looks down at me. Her¡­ her everything brimming with enjoyment at my fury.


    Just like every other time I threatened her.


    I¡¯m about to consider actually doing something stupid when she commands, ¡°Sing your questions for all to hear, My Lyra.¡±


    All my fury is about to crack like ice at winter¡¯s end in terror at the idea of that. Horrified of the curse''s bite that¡¯ll strike when I can¡¯t obey and sing out the words clearly but¡­


    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell me about them? Our children!?!¡± I reply without any struggle or hesitation or¡­ or brokenness!?! Words whole and woven perfectly beneath her purred demand. Even as my everything inside cracks and breaks at¡­ at this.


    How completely she still holds my songs in her grip. My broken and stupid tongue unable to keep what is promised as hers from my Dark Goddess'' grip.


    ¡°Because, my Lyra, you¡¯d have shattered before the time was perfect.¡± She purrs, stepping even closer to loom above. Not¡­ not even a hint of fear in her soul at my endless fury.


    ¡°Shattered? What are you talking about?¡± I spit my emotions and words and thoughts and everything between into the melody she demands. ¡°Just¡­ Tell me about them. I¡¯ll be fine. Love them no matter what.¡±


    ¡°Of course you will.¡± She leans down, voice almost¡­ gentle. Not quiet though. Her words bounce about and echo so everyone can hear her too. ¡°Because while I planted them deep into your soul, and filled you to bursting with all the things needed for them to grow¡­ You assume much based on their thoughtless affections.¡±


    I go still and her words, but¡­ not songless. The sounds clawing out from my throat are a melody of pain and spite and fear.


    Wait. What? She¡­ You can¡¯t mean that¡­ that I¡¯m not¡­


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± I hiss as the curse nips at my soul for leaving a part of the question unsung. This working a reflection of the sounds of something breaking within me. Loudly. Even seems to snap and crack against the refractive walls of this place.


    ¡°Must I state it so plainly?¡± She purrs, a large warm hand moving to hover just a whisper from my cheek and face. ¡°Or would you rather I wrap your soul about mine to make sure you understand this Truth entire?¡±


    Fuzzy Fae hisses at that while Furthonois growls wordlessly. Both glaring at the storm above and trying to fill me with their own denials of¡­ of that. But¡­


    I have to look down. Away from those wretchedly perfect Jade eyes as¡­ as another part of me breaks.


    ¡°No. That¡¯s¡­ Thendra I raised them! Held them safe within the deepest parts of my Amwella for years and years!¡± I spit into the song, squeezing my eyes shut in a stupid attempt to close off everything but my words and loving Keshada and Fuzzy Spirit but¡­ only succeed in feeling her storm of a soul scream her truths louder than ever. ¡°They¡¯re MINE. Even more than yours! You¡­ you¡¯ve not even held them or sang to them or even spoken to them at¨C¡±


    Then her hand is gripping my jaw and neck, forcing me to stare up and into her gaze. My heart a twisting mess, even now, as her glare sings of nothing but amusement at my denials.


    Beloved¡¯s souls twist in fury at that, but¡­ I don¡¯t move my wall of tendrils. Don¡¯t struggle or¡­ or fight her. Hands kept at my sides as I glare up into the eyes of this storm.


    So they stay back.


    Amwella seeming to hope for¡­ something. Anger? My anger?


    ¡°Amwella a perfect everlasting wellspring for them to rest within. Dreadsong sung to call the lost forth. A decade of reaved souls their sustenance. Your feast on that Godling a gathering of even more strength.¡± She purrs. ¡°All provided from me, through you, to them.¡±


    Years and years and even a decade of agony and¡­ purpose. All for them. Not for me. Or even with me.


    Just¡­ just a tool. Always a tool. Not¡­ not their moth¨C


    ¡°St¨C stop.¡± I plead, feet moving to take a step back but¡­ halted mid-step by her grip. ¡°Just¡­ Thendra you know I¡¯m¨C¡±


    ¡°Giving them your everything?¡± She laughs darkly, effortlessly pulling upwards. Causing my feet to dangle as my toes lose the floor. ¡°Tell me¡­ Do you think that is something you chose to do that I did not desire?¡±


    Song falls into a mess of weeping messy growls as I weakly struggle in her grip. ¡°B¨C but¡­ Then why let me¡­ let us¡­¡±


    ¡°Do you think my having you rut with this Watcher and Fae and any other creatures in that manor a gift to you?¡± She mocks, voice cruel and amused as she raises me higher. ¡°Or the Lamentations you¡¯ve laid upon these two some¡­ twisting away from paths within my designs?¡±


    Can so easily see my Beloved¡¯s flinch at that. Souls tilting from fear and fury to cold dread.


    ¡°Pl¨C please.¡± Is all I can sing through her slowly tightening grip.


    My Dark Goddess pauses, then lets out such a long and contented sigh as I¡¯m lowered just a little. ¡°Of course you did. As you thought this a brave action to break away from the lovers I let you keep to face me.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡±


    She pulls me close, making those Jade eyes everything I see. Free hand curling up to dance fingers up and down my exposed spine. ¡°But that¡¯s what made you a good slave, and an even better tool. My Lyra. Your thoughts and will and body and soul are a vessel to fill with everything I wanted you to be.¡±


    ¡°Lyra!¡± My Beloved Fae calls past the barrier of tendrils. ¡°You are not¨C¡±


    Can¡¯t help but whimper and miss her next words as I realize¡­ how right Thendra is. How I¡¯m really just¡­ just so stupid. How I should have seen all this. Seen what she¡­ what YOU wanted from me. See¡­ see that our attempts to make a safe place from you and the Rifts were¡­ were part of your plan.


    Never actually free from my Dark Goddess'' gaze or will.


    Another part of me shatters at that. Withers so much that my Jellyfish are startled to wake up and join in their mother¡¯s¡­. No. My melody. Trying to comfort the stupid broken girl shaped slave in a monster¡¯s grip.


    A few though¡­ they actually turn to hiss and snarl at my Dark Goddess.


    But¡­ She ignores them. Like always.


    Just a tool. Always a tool. For¡­ for¡­


    ¡°Always and forever, as you can¡¯t help but promise me over and over.¡± She finishes my thoughts, free hand moving to wrap about my flank, her claws dancing over the exposed Curse. ¡°Breaking and remade into whatever I will. Smothered in purpose and drowned in pleasure until you couldn¡¯t tell which was which. Always, and completely, Mine.¡±


    Motions of her fingers send spikes and flutters of¡­ of all the things through me. Revulsion and excitement and need and bile and¡­ and shame.


    Endless guilt at being reminded through a simple touch how tuned my everything is to her.


    A whip-crack of sparks and fury twisted into almost¡­ thundering roiling heat, and then our Everflame is Shifting past my Naranggas and standing just behind Thendra. Eyes and Spark flame glowing brighter than ever and glaring all the hatred in the Dream into the back of my Dark Goddess.


    ¡°You¡¯re gonna put her down now.¡± Raska says flatly. Everything her within starting to bubble over like some really angry pot of stew. ¡°Then you''re gonna walk away. Or we¡¯re going to¨C¡±


    She¡¯s cut off as one of my Naranggas snakes in to wrap about her core of blazing Amwella. This wonderful Everflame gasping in surprise as I use it to tug her back and away. My sea-bed of a soul filling to bursting with all of her five flame¡¯s fury and protective rage at Thendra¡¯s word and touch.


    Then I release her. Return to the messy pain bubbling up within me.


    Fuzzy Fae growls endlessly at my refusal of help and love. Radiating an almost plea for me to¡­ to end this. Leave. Stop¡­ stop¡­ STOP! STOP! STOP!!!


    Have to close my eyes and devote everything to suppressing a whimper that¡¯s tilting this hummed song as my Dark Goddess rumbles such¡­ approval at that. At me. At what she feels through our bond. Amwella slowly starting to curl about my core.


    ¡°Would my Lyra rather be anything else?¡± She purrs, pulling me closer. Hand at my flank adjusting to support more weight as she grips me tight.


    The answer cracks me in two.


    Everything feels like it¡¯s breaking inside. More so as I have to sense my Beloveds and Raska absorb all her words and my betrayals and¡­ and how stupid I¡¯ve been.


    ¡°Pl¨C please¡­¡± I whisper, curse starting to nibble as the song cracks beneath the weight of my terror-drowned soul. ¡°Thendra I¡­ Just let me have this. It¡¯s just a word. Just a stupid word!!! They called me that first and¡­ and I¡¯m still doing everything you want and¨C¡±


    She growls gently. Talons finally almost digging into flesh. ¡°Answer me.¡±


    Eye¡¯s flash open to blubber out a messy growling reply. ¡°Yes. That¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s why I¡¯m never going back with you! I¡­ I deserve b¨C better than you. M¨C my ch¨C children d¨C do too!¡±


    I expect her to get angry at my flailing attempts to hurt her. But instead she simply quirks an eyebrow and purrs. ¡°Then take it out.¡±


    I freeze, whisper into the song. ¡°What?¡±


    A single one of her tendrils lifts up to hover close. A few Jellyfish hiss and nip just short of biting her. But I reach out with Naranggas and tug them back.


    ¡°Remove that which I gifted you all those years ago.¡± She presses.


    Cut out this¡­ This piece of her? Why would she like¡­ even say that!?!


    Offer that!?!


    ¡°B¨C but¨C¡±


    ¡°Do this, tear that free and cast it to my feet, and you will never see or feel me within this Dream ever again.¡± My Dark Goddess promises. ¡°Even should you look after doing so.¡±


    Everything is so still and quiet as those words seem to seep into everything. Every Naranggas I can spare while still keeping my Beloved¡¯s and Jellyfish and Raska from Thendra tilting to wrap about my soul.


    Protecting the shard of my Dark Goddess.


    ¡°I¡­ B¨C but¡­¡±


    What if I need you?


    What if I¡­ I mess up and lose m¨C my Beloveds and¡­ and¡­


    Curse bites so hard at the unsung questions.


    ¡°There are more deadly things in the Sapana than Fae and Godlings, my Lyra.¡± She purrs. ¡°Do you think yourself able to keep them all safe the next time you are hunted?¡±


    Can I protect them?


    A¨C alone? Or¡­ or just with my Beloveds?


    Her bright jade eyes scream the answer I wish I could deny.


    No.


    She smiles wickedly at that, and all the Dream seems to tilt at whatever burns behind those eyes.


    Grip even starts to loosen, like she¡¯s about to let me go. But in a flash of fury and Reaver instincts and stupidity¡­ I grip her back. Dig talons into her wrists. Even jerk Naranggas free from everywhere else to curl close around her.


    Around Thendra.


    Even my lovers, now freed to dash closer, hesitate at the sudden shift at this.


    At how quickly I become a Reaver again.


    ¡°I. Am. Their. Mother!¡± I growl into the song like a threat. Voice clear and Naranggas twisting to be covered with all the sharpest things in the Dream. ¡°And they are MY children. MY JELLYFISH. If you ever hurt them or¡­ or my Beloveds or try to take them from me I won¡¯t just tear out this shard.¡±


    Thendra doesn¡¯t move. Doesn¡¯t blink. Jade eyes are bigger than anything else in the Dream and filled with¡­ nothing.


    Empty as the eye of a Storm.


    ¡°I. Will. Kill. You!¡± Is the growl that punctuates the song.


    A pause, then she purrs and smiles in answer. "Of course." And her words from years ago cut through my song like a knife. When¡­ When I tried to keep Awnya safe from her. Threatened this Dark Goddess.


    ¡°By curse or seduction. I care not which.¡±


    ¡°Oke.¡± I growl, then¡­ pull bloody talons free from her wrists while folding Naranggas to softer shapes.


    And Thendra releases me. Lets my body fall to stand before her. Looms overhead while all my tendrils curl close and all about me.


    ¡°Sunrise to Sunrise, Little Godling.¡± She speaks into the fading song, and without needing to ask I know it''s a command to stop my songs.


    Then turns and moves to disappear behind a twisted arching pathway as my song fades to nothing.


    Gone before I can decide how to respond to her promise.


    ¡°Beloved.¡± Comes a strained word.


    Turn to see Raska and Awnya and Tretion staring at me with¡­ with such¡­


    What?


    ¡°I¡­ S¨C sor¨C¡±


    I¡¯m cut off when they dash forward to pull me into their arms and tendrils and souls.


    ¡°I¡­ Lyra You¡­¡± Tretion stammers, her words messy and broken. ¡°I¡¯m so proud of you.¡±


    WHAT?


    ¡°Wh¨C b¨C but¡­¡± I try to force out.


    Betrayed everyone. All this time and¡­ and didn¡¯t¡­ I ran off and¡­ but¡­


    ¡°Scared us like nothing ever before but¡­ yeah.¡± Awnya shivers and agrees. ¡°Proud of you, girl.¡±


    ¡°H¨C how?¡± I sputter.


    Feeling something warm inside thrum at those words. But¡­ also crack and break. Like some weird crabthing of the ocean shedding old shells for new ones.


    ¡°You kept your promises.¡± Tretion murmurs, pulling back to kneel and cup my cheek. Perfect scarlet eyes and cold soul brimming with dribbling tears. ¡°Not perfectly, not without¡­ without allowing that wretched woman to hurt you but¡­ But you did more than¡­ than I f¨C feared you would.¡±


    Oh. Embrace this Watcher''s soul tighter as her unspoken fear bubbles up. That¡­ that I would want to go with her. Leave my Tretion and Awnya for¡­ for Thendra.


    ¡°N¨C never again.¡± I whisper and fall back into her arms. ¡°W¨C with m¨C my B¨C beloveds. Al¨C all¨C always!¡±


    ¡°Always.¡± Awnya agrees. ¡°We¡­ Need to talk about this hook she laid in you but¡­ later. You did good and it would be silly to expect you to be ready for that spooky goose after the day you just had.¡±


    ¡°Oke. B¨C but¡­¡± I whisper. Take such a deep and terrified breath before I promise. ¡°T¨C tell¡­ e¨C e¨C everyth¨C th¨C thing.¡±


    That sparks their souls to more worry but¡­ also love. Melty adorations at me wanting to trust them with this.


    As I squeeze them back with everything I can, a tendril reaches out to curl around this looming Everflame who¡¯s glare is still locked on the passage my Dark Goddess took. Give her a gentle tug and pull Raska close as her Amwella sparks in relief at my touch.


    Peer past Tretion¡¯s arms and head noodles and whisper. ¡°Th¨C tha¨C th¨C ank.¡±


    She huffs and everything and everyone within relaxes a bit. Thrums with worry but¡­ also such affections for me as eyes tilt to meet mine. ¡°Course. Good work, by the way. Burning Ukalon to cinders and getting free and¡­ and dealing the big cunt. It was¡­¡±


    Shakes her head as Spark zips and titters about as that blazing soul and all the spirits within dance about in disparate emotions.


    So I unwind a hand from my Beloved¡¯s and hold it out to her.


    An invitation.


    She huffs, steps up to carefully wrap about us.


    And we just¡­ sit like that. For at least a few eternities. Before eventually I weave a gentle song of request for this wonderful place to give us an easy passage out. Whisper gently.


    ¡°H¨C ho¨C home.¡±

 Chapter 139: Uncomfortable Compromises, and The Storms We Make Them About

    <u>CW:</u>


    Um... mebe clean chappy? Recounting events and snuggling lovers and panicking over what ifs and not wanting to let a big cunt''s shard be taken away!


    Waking up the familiar smells and snuggles of my Beloveds, alongside the feeling of our Jellyfish yipping for us all to basically ¡®get up get up get get up getupgetpgeupGETUP!!!¡¯ is¡­ almost perfect.


    Body and Sea-bed of a soul aren¡¯t like¡­ sore or anything. In fact they¡¯re both fully healed.


    But my thoughts and little songs inside are messy.


    Filled to bursting with horrid Fae melodies, purred truths, and¡­ black glass that seems to be able to cut its way to anywhere within the Dream to find me.


    We just kinda stumbled into bed after gathering up everyone we loved without into our wonderful manor. Getrik, all the souls helping us, and um¡­ even Melivias and Uldra.


    Didn¡¯t want to lose anyone important. No one gets left behind to be snatched up by prowling bloodied Fae or¡­ um¡­ worse.


    ¡°Morning love.¡± Whispers our wonderful Fae without even needing to twist about to catch my gaze.


    Like always, my wiggly Amwella tells her the second I wake up.


    ¡°Murmrnings...¡± I mumble back and snuggle closer into her chest. ¡°Wrrr¡­ R¨C Rrr¨C Raska?¡±


    Finding her soul not within the snuggle pile.


    She chuckles at that. ¡°Stepped out to check on her girls and maybe even talk a cutie into making us some food.¡±


    ¡°Oke.¡± Is my muffled reply.


    Would nuzzle back into sleep but¡­ My pretty Keshada is waking up and curious about the day and this place. Fuzzy Fae rested a bit but seems more relaxed ever since it nuzzled back into the mebe parts with Furthonois and the littlest children.


    And¡­ our biggest Jellyfish are wiggling all about and starting to nip at my Naranggas with those sharp new teeth. Nothing like¡­ really hurtful but I need to make sure to teach them to never bite their mothers. Or¡­ at least only bite me.


    Our brilliant Watcher begins to wiggle a bit. Arms and head noodles locked tight about me still. And... from the way her soul kinda twitches in anxiety before waking up, she¡¯s not gonna let me go for a long while.


    ¡°Good morning my Beloveds.¡± Tretion murmurs softly into my hair. ¡°Is¡­ How long have we been abed?¡±


    ¡°Bout¡­ sixteen hours.¡± Awnya replies softly.


    ¡°Feels¡­ barely a third of that.¡± Is our Watcher¡¯s still snoozie reply. ¡°Is our Everflame alright?¡±


    ¡°Mhm. Yup. Will be back soon. And maybe with some food.¡±


    ¡°Good. Good.¡± She hums softly, takes in a few deep and anxious breaths. ¡°Well, while my Fae may always smell of a well-tended grove, Watchers suffer the burdens of eck and this one is going to drag you both into a good washing with her.¡±


    And she does. It¡¯s¡­ slow and careful. Finding and scrubbing away the sand and blood and¡­ and all sorts of other nonsense out of places you never want that kinda stuff to be in. A few times one of their souls kinda sputters out and gets a little weepy and drippy. Eyes soon to follow as they need a really good hug from us and our Jellyfish.


    Especially Awnya. Amwella is like¡­ a freshly healing bruise. Sensitive and still throbbing pain that seems familiar. So together we weave a small and gentle little song with our Jellyfish. Nothing too loud or magical. Just a soft melody in the middle of everything to help her feel loved and important.


    By the time we¡¯re finished Raska is back and sitting on the floor with a tray of really neat options. Lots of colorful smells and vibrant textured food.


    ¡°I take it our manor is getting along well without its Matron to fuss over everyone?¡± Our Watcher greets while sitting right next to Raska and pulling me to nuzzle basically in her lap with our Fae close beside.


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Raska sighs, ¡°Course. You both did good work setting this place to burn without either of you poking at the cinders.¡±


    Really wish we¡¯d have been able to tug her into our wash. Help Raska relax and clean off all the messy things from yesterday.


    ¡°And your girls?¡± Awnya asks.


    ¡°Good. Bit worried, of course.¡± Raska shrugs while nibbling at her little soft fruit bread thing. ¡°They get more info than most, kinda¡­ are aware of the mess we¡¯ve been making outside. What with Wren helping out the intakes.¡±


    I reach out to take up some tasty things and pass them to my Beloveds. Chew away at my own food while also biting at the mess inside and try to like¡­ keep the rising fear from bubbling over at the questions they all have. And the answers I promised.


    ¡°Any pressing needs?¡± Our Watcher replies.


    ¡°Nope. Just¡­ lots of people wanting to make sure you three are okay.¡± Raska answers. ¡°Which¡­ I told everyone that you are, but to let you all rest and not expect much for a good spit.¡±


    Awnya sighs as her Amwella releases a bit of worry at our Everflame¡¯s words. ¡°Thanks. Means the Dream to us that you took care of that.¡±


    Raska smirks at her, ¡°Would be a pretty sorry duenna if I didn¡¯t, and instead just snuggled up to those I¡¯m supposed to protect all day.¡±


    Our Fae chuckles, and through a bite replies, ¡°Wouldn¡¯t have bothered us a bit to wake up with you close and help you handle that all later.¡±


    Both their souls wiggle in all kinds of interesting ways at that, but otherwise we fall into eating with only a few soft words spoken. Mostly about little things or the food itself.


    But¡­ I have promises to keep.


    ¡°Oke¡­¡± I murmur as everyone seems to be finished. ¡°Um¡­ Oke. Ffff¨C fr¨C first. S¨C sorry.¡±


    Tretion curls about me even tighter. Amwella wibbling like it always does when I apologize for¡­ for my messy everything. ¡°I don¡¯t think it is needed, but you are forgiven regardless.¡±


    I let out a huff of a sigh, and¡­ try to explain.


    How I messed up. Got distracted. Saw something weird on the horizon and started Riftwalking into the desert. Found the Dead Dreamer¡¯s Wood in the distance but¡­ couldn¡¯t Riftwalk back. Then¡­ how the spirits attacked. How I needed my Fuzzy Fae, our Jellyfish, and even my Dreadsong to kill them.


    ¡°Were their memories rough to handle?¡± Awnya asks softly.


    Sway back and forth before shrugging. ¡°D¨C didn¡¯t like th¨C them. B¨C but¡­ n¨C not worst.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s good." She sighs. "But¡­ You said you found the Dead Dreamer¡¯s Wood past the storm?¡±


    Shake my head. ¡°N¨C no storm. J¨C just woods.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ huh.¡± Awnya huffs and shakes her head.


    Soul seeming to chew on those words like an angry frog at a finger devoid of easily nibbled food.


    Raska chuckles. ¡°So when I was burning away the sand to keep us free of it you were just seeing¡­ what? Some big forest on fire?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ Yes?¡± I reply.


    ¡°This¡­ actually makes sense.¡± Our brilliant Watcher explains as the rest of us wriggle in confusion. ¡°Lyra has been connected to the Ocean¡¯s past the Rifts since she arrived within the Dream. And this could simply be her seeing the encroaching Blight from a different perspective. Possibly a more true one. Something that is normally only possible when observing the Dead Dreamer¡¯s domain from a Fae Wood.¡±


    ¡°Hmmm¡­ could also be her bearing a Hearthflame connected to Theradas.¡± Raska nods.


    ¡°Okay, yeah. I can hear that.¡± Awnya finally murmurs, pulling herself from some deeper thoughts. ¡°And¡­ then what?¡±


    ¡°F¨C forest. Everywhere. All around.¡± I whisper. ¡°B¨C but could still see Theradas. And um¡­ One more Spirit. Th¨C this o¨C one¡­ um¡­ N¨C not at¨C atta¨C attacking. M¨C made pr¨C prom¨C promises. H¨C helped l¨C lla¨C later. Even.¡±


    Pretty Keshada settles the littlest Jellyfish to rest well in the snuggles of the Fuzzy Fae and wiggles to sit up straighter within the mebe parts.


    Everyone perks up at that. Amwella all a rush with interest and hope.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits! Really?¡± Awnya smirks.


    ¡°Have they given a name?¡± Tretion asks.


    ¡°Um¡­ Ye¨C yeah.¡± I mumble and fibble my fingers, then take a deep breath and try to force out the name. ¡°F¨C fur¨C furrrr¡­ th¨C tho¡­¡±


    Course my stupid tongue gives me trouble over this. And¡­ and of course I get to watch their hope and excitement twist and sputter into more cautious dread.


    ¡°Furthonois?¡± Awnya whispers, face and even soul losing some color at the name. ¡°I¡­ Lyra is¡­ you said they helped you?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± I whisper immediatly. ¡°Sh¨C she d¨C did. A¨C alot. H¨C has been n¨C nice. H¨C helped me get fr¨C free.¡±


    That makes our Fae pause and I glance up to see her staring at Tretion.


    ¡°And¡­ Why is she the first to offer this so quickly?¡± Our Watcher states carefully.


    Tell them how she was being attacked by the other two. And¡­ and what I felt when I touched her thoughts and spirit.


    How she really isn¡¯t good at spirit fighting. Her venom and any physical strength useless against the two that were attacking. Then the offer of all her information for just¡­ safety. Anything and everything she is and was offered for it.


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    ¡°Alright¡­ You said she helped you?¡± Awnya asks.


    I whisper, ¡°Yes.¡± Then take a second to spark up my Amwella and¡­


    A single Naranggas sparks with lightning between us. Crackling and giggling its happy little fury that burns at the air and anything else it might touch. Such a vibrant and pretty shade of violet too. Kinda¡­ matches my eyes and Amwella in hue.


    ¡°T¨C This.¡± I answer and look between them.


    They all freeze at that. At first filled with worry that soon wiggles into such¡­ surprise and awe.


    ¡°She¡­ She taught you a Wretched Incantation?¡± Tretion very nearly stammers.


    ¡°Y¨C yes. B¨C but was¡­ Um¡­¡± Feel at my pretty Keshada in worry that¡­ that I¡¯ll upset her.


    [You can call it what it was, Lyra.] She giggles. [I won¡¯t take offense. It wasn¡¯t my spell. Just¡­ something I inherited and passed on to you.]


    ¡°Messy.¡± I huff and can¡¯t help but smile as I feel her soft amusement at my perspectives. ¡°H¨C had t¨C tooo ch¨C change it. M¨C make n¨C not h¨C hurt me. U¨C used t¨C to es¨C esss¨C cape th¨C the Fae.¡±


    ¡°And no words needed.¡± Tretion whispers as her Amwella starts to bubble with inspiration. ¡°Or songs. This¡­ I¡­ Can you share the methods to it? The calculations and¡­ other such aspects?¡±


    Think on that for a second, look to the pretty Keshada within my soul.


    [Certainly, both what I gifted, and how you adjusted it.] She agrees easily.


    Nod and twist in Tretion''s cool embrace to smile back at her. ¡°Y¨C yes. Easy. J¨C just N¨C need paper. F¨C fur¨C ffrrr.¡± Take a breath, find a word that rolls off the tongue. ¡°M- my Ke¨C sha¨C da will help.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ Thank you. To both of you.¡± Our Watcher then reaches out and cups my cheek while tendrils curl about me protectively. Voice gentle but¡­ firm. ¡°And I¡¯ll offer this spirit what I offered the first we swayed to peace. If you¡¯d like I can consider you a guest in my manor. With all the rights and privileges and expectations alongside it. As I would any other we¡¯ve helped.¡±


    [Tell her I accept, and if¡­ if after you finish sharing the events of yesterday my actions are found¡­ lacking. I¡¯ll gladly adjust. And relay my thanks, if you will.]


    ¡°Um¡­ Y¨C yes. W¨C wa¨C wants to h¨C help b¨C better if y¨C you th¨C th¨C think could. A¨C and th¨C thanks.¡± I whisper.


    Tretion nods and gives me a big hug, and I twist about to look at the other two.


    Raska boils with worry, and Awnya seems to be frozen still looking to my still giggling lightning coated Naranggas.


    End the spell and reach out to touch her fingers. ¡°B¨C b¨C be¨C l¨C loved?¡±


    ¡°Sorry.¡± She shakes herself and stammers. ¡°I eh¡­ have only ever seen really nasty sorts with that. Most are¡­ really loud with bad melodies that put my feathers to twitch.¡±


    ¡°S¨C sorry.¡± I whisper and move to sit more between my beloveds. Wrapping arms about Awnya in worry and love.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be, Yours was¡­ honestly? Perfect. Could even pick up some of the tune for it. A bit scary but¡­ not painful. Like how lightning or fire are. Not even touched by Blight.¡± She chuckles and returns my embrace. ¡°It''s really impressive.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ question, though.¡± Our Everflame murmurs.


    Bite my lip as I feel a bit of the things she and her five are noticing. ¡°Um¡­¡±


    ¡°So¡­ I can¡¯t tell for sure so I¡¯m just gonna ask.¡± She starts carefully. ¡°Where is she? This new spirit?¡±


    That makes everyone pause. And new worries begin to bubble.


    [Perhaps¡­ continue with the retelling?] Furthonois suggests.


    ¡°Oke.¡± I huff. ¡°A¨C answer w¨C w¨C with s¨C st¨C story.¡±


    They let me and¡­ I try. Forcing out the words as best I can.


    Tell them about how Dreadweave attacked after I killed Ukalon twice. Pulling our Jellyfish, my Fuzzy Fae and even Furthonois into the mebe parts so they wouldn¡¯t get hurt. Waking up and some of Opherity¡¯s words. What they... They wanted to do to me.


    I fall apart at that. Can¡¯t stop the tears and little growling sounds of pain and fear. Even¡­ even sitting here soft and safe in the arms and tendrils of those that bubble with love for me.


    Within these safe places able to really understand what that would have meant for me.


    Everything turned inside out and rewoven and¡­ and worse than before my Fae change! Stuck forever and burning to keep a stupid Fae Wood warm and perfect. Fixing me by making me useful kindling.


    Have to stop for a while after that. Chew on some food before the next words come out.


    Tell them how our Jellyfish, our children, saved me. Gobbled up all the stupid Fae they could before I was free enough to kill the rest. Then finding Melivias and Uldra and¡­ and pulling such small Jellyfish back into the mebe parts of my soul.


    That gets Tretion and Awnya all wibbly and worried but¡­ also kinda wonderfully excited about something. I''m... Not really sure what? But they don¡¯t interrupt and nudge me to keep going when I pause and give them questioning looks.


    Finding the Heart, how I helped it, is easy to explain. Because it¡¯s just like the wonderful manor we¡¯ve lived in. So that just leaves them finding me and.. And the¡­ a talk with my Dark Goddess.


    Don¡¯t even know where to start. Sit quiet and stupid and terrified for a long while before my brilliant Watcher offers a little question to help me find my words.


    ¡°Can you tell us what lets you and her talk without speaking aloud?¡± Tretion asks so gently. Soul a mess of worry but¡­ calm. Focused. Like she does when working out manor math problems. Or magic things.


    We¡¯ve adjusted a little. I¡¯m¡­ kinda still in her lap still but facing her. Awnya to her side and my right while Raska sits to my left.


    ¡°Sh¨C sh¨C shard. I¨C in Am¨C ammmm¨C w¨C wella.¡± I whisper, staring down at my useless black-tipped talons.


    ¡°Alright.¡± Our Fae murmurs. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ guessing, and I could be wrong, that you can¡¯t hear her?¡±


    Shake my head. ¡°N¨C no. J¨C just¡­ me. Sh¨C she he¨Chears th¨C thoughts. F¨C fe¨C ffff¨C feel¨C in¨C ings.¡±


    They actually relax a lot at that.


    ¡°Dreamer¡¯s Tits. Better than I worried it was.¡± Awnya huffs. ¡°Do you feel anything from it? Like¡­ at all? Mostly just wanting to make sure this isn¡¯t some twisted thing like Ukalon sprouts in people.¡±


    Shake my head again. ¡°N¨C no. N¨C never expl¨C epla¨C explained. Just¡­ knew. T¨C talked. C¨C c¨C came if n¨C nn¨C needed.¡±


    ¡°Is it in the hidden parts of your soul? The maybe parts?¡± Our Watcher asks.


    Shake my head. ¡°D¨C deep. B¨C but no.¡±


    Tretion¡¯s attention drifts over and past me, eyes probably filling with a question I feel and... Raska understands.


    All her Amwella''s focus locked on my Sea-bed of a soul.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been looking since I got a whiff of what was happening.¡± Our Everflame replies after a few seconds. ¡°Don¡¯t see anything though.¡±


    Bite my lip as I feel my Brilliant Watcher start to¡­ to chew on a problem. A question. A goal.


    One that feels like my everything tears apart to think about.


    ¡°Could be like the storm. She sees one thing while everyone else sees another.¡± Awnya muses. ¡°Must be pretty tough too. What with all the Blight she weaves. Sturdy. Like a lobster.¡±


    They want to pull my shard out.


    No one replies to that, and¡­ eventually a soft and cool hand gently reaches out to cup my cheek. ¡°Beloved?¡±


    Teeth sink into my lip hard that warm blood dribbles as¡­ as I very nearly feel her next words before they are spoken. Wribble tendrils all about her a little tighter when the question is asked.


    ¡°May¡­ Will you agree to let us do this?¡± My endlessly patient and horribly worried Watcher whispers. ¡°Find a way to remove it safely?¡±


    Tremble and shiver and try so hard not to drop into messy tears as I reply. ¡°N¨C no.¡±


    The silence that follows is the heaviest and worst in all the Dream. Filled only with the slowly rising things I feel within these precious souls I hold close.


    Furthonois sighs her disagreement but¡­ doesn¡¯t press.


    Fuzzy Fae is still sleepy but trembles in worry with me.


    Tretion and Awnya are¡­ not calm. Not happy with my answer. But¡­ also not surprised? Feels more like two who are looking over a messy Grove after an unexpected storm.


    But Raska¡­


    Her soul blazes horribly at that. Bubbling with anxiety and fear and¡­ and anger. So much I find the Naranggas about her roaring soul stiff with worry. Unwilling to let go but¡­ starting to tremble with me.


    ¡°We¡­ Well, let¡¯s be honest, all of us think you should.¡± Awnya replies softly after a few long breaths. ¡°Mostly probably for the same reasons. Both for your, our children, and¡­ well, this entire manor''s safety. She can learn a lot from listening to your thoughts, love. Enough to make this place vulnerable. And that was if she was just some Reaver and not...¡±


    ¡°B¨C but¡­ P¨C prom¨C mised t¨C to nn¨C not t¨C to h¨C hurt o¨C or f¨C fffight.¡± I stammer. ¡°A¨C ally.¡±


    ¡°Beloved.¡± Tretion murmurs softly. ¡°I¡­ She hurt you, and while still within promises. Honored their words while tearing at their heart and spirit. We can prepare to better face any threats together, without her interventions. Yesterday was¡­ was horrifying. But in the end we did not need her help. You escaped, and would have found us.¡±


    ¡°B¨C b¨C but¡­ D¨C dre¨C dreaaadwee¡­¡± I whimper under her words.


    ¡°Spooky goose of a bitch. Sure.¡± Awnya shrugs. ¡°But so is Ukalon, and you beat her without much time to prepare. Dreadweave stepped outside of her promises of the Fae, and only barely even then. She has no reason to come for us. And¡­ Even if she did. I doubt Thendra could do anything to help us fight her that we can¡¯t do ourselves.¡±


    ¡°N¨C no. Th¨C Th¨C Thenn¡­¡± Shake my head at that while moving past her name. ¡°She, could help. St¨C strong. Scary. Sm¨C smart. C¨C could help. W¨C will help. K¨C keep J¨C jell¨C jellyfish safe.¡±


    Another long pause passes before Tretion replies carefully. ¡°When we spoke with her, and Awnya demanded she help us find you, I told her that they would remain with us.¡±


    Risk a glance up to find her Crimson eyes searching mine as I whisper. ¡°W¨C what d¨C d¨C did sh¨C she s¨C say?¡±


    ¡°Until such a time as they drift.¡±


    Oh.


    ¡°She means to let them grow and flourish in our care. Then approach them as they might decide to wander the wider Rifts.¡± Our protective Watcher growls.


    ¡°And that¡¯s assuming she will actually keep her word and let us raise them without her¡­¡± Awnya hisses, but she trails off. I glance over to find her expression twist into such an odd shape as Amwella wiggles in a new anxiety.


    Tretion notices it too, glances over. ¡°Beloved?¡±


    Awnya swallows. ¡°Nothing. Nothing. Just¡­ noticing some old words matching up to new. Talks about birds that trick others into raising their young for a bit.¡±


    I¡­ don¡¯t remember her talking about that, but Tretion seems to understand. Tendrils curl about me ever tighter as she nods. ¡°Yes. I¡­ It seems a good thing to keep in mind, I think. Especially knowing where these little ones come from.¡±


    ¡°Muh?¡± I ask.


    ¡°Sorry. Not really important right now. Got us distracted. Will explain later.¡± Awnya shakes off her worry over that and refocuses on me.


    ¡°O¨C oke.¡± I murmur and look back down.


    ¡°So¡­¡± Our soft and kind Fae whispers while leaning closer to me. ¡°We could spend ages and ages talking about what she said. Pull apart every word to show you how she was wrong. Probably will have to. Multiple times. And even if she wasn¡¯t, and all this and us is part of her schemes¡­ I¡¯m not sure that¡¯s the heart of the issue here. Is it?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ B¨C but¡­¡± I whisper and trail off. Pull every Naranggas that isn¡¯t curling about one them closer as such a terrified tremble runs through me.


    ¡°She, for a very long time, was the person you could always trust to keep you.¡± Are her words that cut through me like the sharpest talon in the Dream. ¡°There was always a cost, but¡­ you¡¯d give anything to have someone accept all of you.¡±


    Feel just like I did months and months ago. In this very same room hearing them tell me the same things. The words are different but¡­ I still feel the stupid broken girl I was. Like I¡¯ve not grown or¡­ or kept my promises or¡­ or anything!


    ¡°And then she just¡­ knew the right words to hurt you over that yesterday.¡± Awnya sighs, ¡°Cheating cunt already could read you well, didn¡¯t even need this nasty thing inside ya. Cut straight to the heart of your deepest fear. Basically screaming¡­ Give me up, and risk being abandoned again. Alone forever.¡±


    The sound I make is¡­ something I didn¡¯t know anyone could make. More like a snake hiccupping right as a bird snatches her up to shake it all about, while also underwater, than a girl letting out a soul-wrenching sob.


    Such a broken wail that kinda makes everyone flinch as I just¡­ fall forward and bump my forehead into Tretion¡¯s chest.


    Heart and soul and mind tearing apart.


    ¡°But you don¡¯t need to sell yourself anymore.¡± Tretion picks up while gently moving arms up and down my back. ¡°You¡¯re free of that. Have all of us and our children for as long as you want us.¡±


    ¡°B¨C but¡­ w¨C wh¨C what i¨C if¡­¡± Shift my gaze up to hers while everything breaks inside.


    Don¡¯t even need to speak the words for her to my question¡¯s end.


    What if I mess up again? Kill someone I love?


    Her own expression twists, everything else shivering in guilt and pain softened by my return but¡­ Not gone. Wounds upon the soul like that don¡¯t heal so easily.


    ¡°Beloved that¡­ that wasn¡¯t¡­¡± She whispers, tears already falling. ¡°You¡¯ve found us again. Despite everything. Kept yourself and our children safe. Helped us weave a home safer than any in the Dream.¡±


    ¡°C¨C could m¨C mmm¨C mess up, a¨C ag¨C ggg¨C¡± I wail. Stumbling over the words. ¡°C¨C could st¨C st¨C still lose e¨C e¨C ever¨C everything! H¨C hurt or¨C e¨C eat s¨C soul o¨C orrrr¡­ F¨C fae c¨C catch a¨C and t¨C take s¨C songs o¨C or D¨C drrr¨C Dreeeedweave f¨C find and¡­ b¨C but¡­¡±


    ¡°Hey hey hey.¡± Awnya coos into my spiral of rising panic. Wraps everything about me and Tretion. ¡°Deep breaths. It¡¯s okay. We¡¯re here. Deeeep breaths. Not going anywhere, girl.¡±


    Take a wheezing and painful breath through this songless litany. ¡°Th¨C Thendra st¡ª stong. W¨C wants m¨C m¨C me. K¨C k¨C keeps safe. K¨C keeps ch¨C chil¨C J¨C jell- ie¨C fish s¨C save. B¨C be¨C l¨C loveds safe. N¨C no lose h¨C her. No. Pl¨C please. N¨C no.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need her, Beloved.¡± Our brilliant Watcher insists. ¡°Never again. That¡¯s what you told me. Let¡­ let us keep gifting you that. A future where you don¡¯t need her.¡±


    ¡°B¨C but¡­¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t even need her yesterday. If we¡¯re being honest.¡± Awnya adds. ¡°Would have tumbled into each other pretty quick. And next time we¡¯re out we¡¯ll all do better. Easily.¡±


    Calm a bit at that. ¡°B¨C but¡­ What if wrong? Wh¨C what if we d¨C do need her?¡±


    That makes Awnya huff, but¡­ not in annoyance. In worry.


    Doesn''t have an answer.


    ¡°Then¡­ mayhaps we compromise here.¡± Our brilliant Watcher murmurs into the silence.


    I pull back and look up to find her gaze filled with¡­ something. Like I feel just before pouncing on prey.


    ¡°Let us learn about this shard, find out how you can remove it safely. Then¡­ proceed to only the last step of her promise. Keep it close in case a day comes that we truly do need that wretched woman¡¯s aid, but¡­ no longer within and able to spy upon your thoughts. Only toss it away when you are ready.¡±


    Chew on my lip at that.


    I¡­ I mean my Dark Goddess¡¯ words were specific. Always are. Just¡­ don¡¯t throw it at her feet. Keep it like a treasure? Not inside but¡­ close? Would that be okay?


    ¡°I¡­ Mebe.¡± Is my quiet whisper to her. ¡°B¨C but c¨C c¨C can l¨C look. That¡¯s oke.¡±

 Chapter 140: Gooey Reunions and Talks of Soul Pockets

    <u>CW:</u>


    Lyra POV wow! Talk with a slime gerl! Talk of spliting spirits/headmates from bodies at the end. Um... little memories of smutty wiggles kinda sorta WOW!


    Three days of looking and testing and poking and resting and snuggling be¨C before they just ask the question they¡¯ve tried to avoid.


    ¡°There¡­ is one in this manor who we think could see this shard.¡± Our brilliant Watcher asks so carefully after ending a new small spell she''d woven. Then lets me sing better the little touches of Blight her weird songless magic tends to get infected with.


    Took me¡­ a day? I think? To understand the little questions and things offered from Raska. The worry bubbling more and more with every test and songs¡¯ failure.


    I nod. ¡°Oke.¡±


    ¡°We wanted to ask first. Of course.¡± Awnya adds from behind me. ¡°Didn¡¯t want you to feel rushed or pressed to see anyone you don¡¯t want to.¡±


    ¡°Oke.¡± I repeat.


    They both pause.


    ¡°You know who we¡¯d like to ask, don¡¯t you? Have read us as easily as a pair of books.¡± Tretion sighs and gifts me a really soft smile while setting aside her books and magical tools.


    ¡°A l¨C little.¡± I reply, and give her my most confident smile back as I sway a bit.


    ¡°And¡­ you¡¯re sure?¡± Awnya asks. ¡°That you¡¯re okay with um¡­ So from what little Raska asked Wren already she implied that while her sensing is good¡­ it¡¯s kinda like your cute soul tails. Touching might um¡­ be the only way she can sense it. But the girl insists that she sensed something odd inside back before but didn¡¯t think anything of it.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± I mumble and look down.


    Can¡¯t help but¡­ but shiver a bit at¡­ at the memories of her cold soul snuggled so close to mine. A few eternities of that soft and kind and gooey girl always so happy to pull me close. Nibbling and sucking and enveloping my everything. Amwella reminding me of the beloved I lost while promising me affections and adorations as¡­ as she¨C


    ¡°Oke.¡± I whisper with as much confidence as I can.. ¡°If¡­ if wh¨C what needed. Oke. Trust.¡±


    After that, we decide that the best place for this would be one of the newer Groves Usete has been working on. Apparently finished with the old and trying to weave another, already found a nice tree to sing a home from that we now sit outside from. They¡¯re not here today though. So we chose this space for our meeting with the girl who can mebe see the shard my Dark Goddess gifted me.


    If this works¡­ we can do more tests and such elsewhere as our Brilliant Watcher tries to find ways to mimic how she senses this.


    While we wait for Raska to get her, I distract myself from bubbling worry by trying to copy the long written things for the magic Furthonois taught me. Prolly gonna be at least three big books worth to like¡­ really translate it out.


    Don¡¯t really understand it all. Mostly just¡­ a big mess of memories from my Keshada charted out and corrected where my understanding of Blight Weaving made it better. Cleaner. Something both Awnya and Tretion can read and understand and replicate.


    The manor rumbles a bit, and from the little I can understand¡­ Raska just entered the grove with another person. One with a very dense soul.


    Wren, of course. Nobody else feels like she does.


    I stand and see them both just as they step around a big tree. She¡­ She¡¯s almost exactly the same as I remember her except¡­ more vibrant? Colorful? Still can¡¯t feel her emotions or anything but¡­


    When those dark obsidian eyes lock on me I can¡¯t help look away as her everything wiggles in some kind of feelings as she takes me all in. Soul and expression and¡­ and body.


    I wasn¡¯t thinking about my clothes today and am dressed in a little blue skirt Tretion got all dribbly souled over and a dark top without sleeves Awnya insisted matched it. Was mostly enjoying all the pretty ruffles and patterns and didn¡¯t realize just how much skin would be visible.


    How¡­ how many of my burns and scars and other stupid nonsense would be super open to anyone and everyone and¡­ and¡­


    Can¡¯t help but reach over and grip at my left elbow with sharp talons. Wishing I wore some big dress or coat or¡­ or something to hide inside!


    Raska and Wren stop a good ten feet back though. And from the way my Beloved¡¯s souls twist I think they¡¯re about to do the talking and greetings and¡­ or¡­ But they don¡¯t. Raska either. Just¡­ Tretion rises and reaches out with hand and tendrils to curl gently about me. Awnya follows and does the same.


    So I force out a soft and far too quiet. ¡°H¨C hi. Wr¨C Wren.¡±


    ¡°Hello Lyra. It''s... wonderful to see you again.¡± Wren replies gently, seeming to¡­ to try so hard to still the ripples rolling across her form. Then she sputters out, ¡°And I¡­ I¡¯m here to help. In any way you need. And¡­ and I¡¯m so sorry. For before. We¡­ I should have¡­¡±


    I risk a glance. Look up to see her¡­ kinda melty. Raska still holds her hand though. The Everflame¡¯s soul twisting in pained patterns that kinda help me understand what this pretty gooey girl is feeling.


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    ¡°Um¡­ N¨C none. Y¨C your f¨C fault.¡± I whisper as she trails off and the silence stretches. ¡°W¨C w¨C was st¨C stupid. Sh¨C sh¨C should have told th¨C th¨C that w¨C w¨C was F¨C F¨C Fae.¡±


    All the souls about me wiggle in such disagreement against that. But it¡¯s Wren who growls. ¡°No. Absolutely not. That shouldn¡¯t have mattered. I should have stopped Raska. Could have. Was just¡­¡±


    She trails off again, and I offer a soft. ¡°Scared?¡±


    Wren nods.


    ¡°Is oke." I whisper back. "Am s¨C sc¨C scary.¡±


    ¡°Lyra¡­¡± Awnya warns gently.


    Wren kinda putters in what I think would be a huff from anything else. ¡°So am I. And I¡¯ve spent years learning to not let people hurt me for it. Could really easily see the same in you.¡±


    ¡°D¨C D¨C different.¡± I grumble.


    ¡°Maybe. But¡­ also not in ways that matter. You were nothing but kind and even protective of us.¡± Wren presses. ¡°Raska was wrong. I was wrong. And¡­ But Sevy and Zephin didn¡¯t¨C¡±


    ¡°Lady Wren.¡± Tretion interrupts gently.


    Doesn¡¯t say more but, Wren stops anyway. Ripples in other ways.


    Wanting to protect me from anyone who might hurt me. And¡­ also knowing how hard that reunion will be for me.


    ¡°Um¡­ Mebe.¡± I whisper. ¡°J¨C just¡­ Um¡­¡±


    ¡°I know, I¡¯m sorry.¡± Wren replies quickly. ¡°They¡­ I know you know and you really don¡¯t need to worry about¡­ about them. Or us. Right now.¡±


    ¡°S¨C sorry.¡± I huff.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be. Please. I¡­ Raska and Matron Tretion said you all needed help finding something? Some kind of shard embedded into your Amwella?¡±


    Bite my lip a bit, but nod. ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°Okay, May I come sit? Get some ideas of what I''m to look for?¡±


    Takes me a few stupid seconds to realize everyone is waiting for me to answer her. So I nod and move to sit. Pip-pat the ground in front of my Beloveds and me.


    Wren and Raska move to settle with us. Awnya offers them nice springwater drinks and fruits before more words are woven between us.


    ¡°So, I never found a quiet moment to mention it in detail, but I spoke with these two soon after the first rising of Spirits within you.¡± Tretion begins. ¡°Asked for both her and Raska¡¯s advice on how to help a lover recently afflicted the way you were.¡±


    I freeze, look between them. Stammer. ¡°R¨C r¨C really?¡±


    ¡°Yup.¡± Raska answers. ¡°I wrote up the soot smelling journal that night.¡±


    ¡°And¡­ Matron Tretion said that she and others seem to struggle to¡­ to count your um¡­¡± Wren looks between us, dark eyes following our Jellyfish as they wiggle and paddle about. ¡°Your children? I can help with that too if you¡¯d like.¡±


    ¡°Muh?¡± I stammer. ¡°B¨C but¡­ h¨C how¡­¡±


    They always seemed countless to us! Not endless but¡­ kinda mushed. Like trying to count the fish in a murky pond.


    ¡°That would be really nice, actually.¡± Awnya answers while I stumble over my words and thoughts. ¡°How many can you count out?¡±


    Wren considers us all for a few seconds, murmurs as she works, then nods. ¡°Eight big ones. With a pair that looks to have recently split but are still very close. Roughly three nuzzled close to each of you with the Matron carrying two, but¡­ that shifts every few moments. They love to swim between, from what I''m seeing.¡±


    E¨C eight? B¨C but¡­ That¡­ that¡¯s so many! Can¡¯t help but pull the ones closest to me into a hug as I absorb that. Embracing them all and even my Beloveds as I try to find the edges between. Suddenly so terrified at the idea of them all continuing to learn more songs and get bigger and¡­ and¡­ and maybe want a body to weave! Become little persons and eventually big people I... I''ll need to figure out how to be a good mom to!


    ¡°And um¡­ They also seem really happy.¡± Wren continues. ¡°With all three of you but, especially amidst Lyra¡¯s soul.¡±


    ¡°Oh they don¡¯t let us miss that, ever.¡± Awnya grins. ¡°Thanks for helping us put numbers to em. But¡­ What else do ya see? In and about her soul I mean. No clue what else Raska told you so¡­?¡±


    ¡°Oh um¡­ Just that Lyra should have two other spirits amidst her really pretty flame. Which¡­ honestly it looks more like an ocean than fire.¡± Wren explains. ¡°The tendrils are like the tides or waves. Your little ones the fish and other life. I¡­ See the shadows of bigger spirits. I think. One seems asleep while the other is sitting very still.¡±


    While I fibble fingers at the way my insides flutter at her description of my soul, Tretion and Awnya''s Amwella alight with interest.


    ¡°Really?¡± Our brilliant Watcher murmurs. ¡°They currently sit in spaces Lyra dubs the ¡®maybe parts of the soul¡¯. A location I believe to be folded within her, and possibly all others'', Amwella.¡±


    Wren thinks on that for a few seconds. ¡°That¡­ Makes sense. Actually. With what I know from watching and feeling Raska¡¯s Amwella. Which¡­¡± She looks to her Everflame. ¡°May I share some of what I mused at you over the years?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Course.¡± Raska agrees immediately.


    ¡°Everflame souls are¡­ weird. Very different than others.¡± Wren explains. ¡°Most think it¡¯s just¡­ the extra weight of the Sparks she and others have absorbed. And while that¡¯s a part of it, I¡­ um¡­ think it¡¯s the wrong way of looking at it.¡±


    ¡°Oh?¡± Awnya murmurs. More than interested.


    Raska cackles, ¡°Cunt always said my soul was turned inside out to make room for my five flames.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­¡± I whisper as I can¡¯t help but let a little tendril sneak around our group to nuzzle the back left of Raska¡¯s soul. ¡°Th¨C that¡­ oke. Y¨C yeah.¡±


    Raska contains a little flutter of her expression and Amwella. And my beloved¡¯s don¡¯t notice, or don¡¯t react. Just¡­ enveloped by this pretty gooey lady¡¯s words.


    ¡°Souls don¡¯t normally get bigger, just¡­ heavier. Denser. Right?¡± Wren adds. ¡°I think it¡¯s because people have these little pockets they fill with themselves. But with Everflames they tend to gobble up too much too fast. Pockets turn inside out and spill whatever is inside out to swim around the soul. And since Everflame sparks tend to be pretty angry¡­ those pockets seem to struggle to contain the blaze.¡±


    ¡°Is this something you¡¯ve seen in others? This¡­ spilling out?¡± Tretion asks.


    ¡°Once or twice.¡± Wren nods. ¡°Both times with Everflames though. Your children are the first time I¡¯ve seen anything like them.¡±


    Our Watcher nods, ¡°You never had the misfortune of meeting one of the godlings, correct?¡±


    ¡°Not this close. No.¡± Wren shakes her everything. ¡°Especially not um¡­ Furthonois.¡±


    A pause, then Awnya asks very carefully. ¡°Did Raska tell you some of the, eh¡­ lets say details, of Lyra¡¯s current situation?¡±


    Wren does what seems like how others would do a worried swallow, but nods. ¡°One of the spirits that is inside Lyra is that of the previous godthing of slaves and slavers. While the other is¡­ is a Fae. One that doesn¡¯t speak much. Hasn''t shared a name either.¡±


    ¡°Yup. And¡­ are you okay with still helping?¡± Our kind Fae asks gently. ¡°If you¡¯d rather just keep your distance and look, that will probably help a lot. Won¡¯t blame you if you¡¯d rather keep clear of feeling anything else.¡±


    ¡°Raska said they are both being kind. Not hurting Lyra anymore. Even helped her escape, right?¡± Wren asks. ¡°And¡­ and if what is happening to Lyra is common for godthings to suffer. The rising of old spirits then¡­ then they probably got hurt a lot in their time alive. Right?¡±


    I nod. ¡°Y¨C yes.¡±


    ¡°Then I¡¯ll do what I can. And¡­ if I¡¯m being honest that doesn¡¯t worry me too much.¡±


    ¡°Oh?¡± Tretion asks. ¡°An unkillable spirit¡¯s wroth or ire is something most would fear.¡±


    Raska chuckles. Flooded with vicious mirth at that. ¡°Cuz last time a sibling of mine tried to hurt my girls Wren drowned her spark. Then threw the embers of both it and the Cinderkin out the window. Separated the two. Forced them to remantle and ran off scared as all the Dead Cinders.¡±


    We all freeze at that. Fuzzy Fae perks up in sudden curiosity, Furthonois in a mix of fear and¡­ something else. Something messy.


    ¡°Really?¡± Tretion murmurs, soul bubbling in an almost vicious interest at Wren¡¯s words. ¡°Well then, Lady Wren, I¡¯m even more interested in gaining your help than before. As currently when our Beloved destroys a spirit they apparently only return to the mantle¡¯s shadow. To bubble up again later. Learning how to permanently remove them would be a boon I¡¯d pay any price to gain.¡±

 Chapter 141: Porously Weighted Physical Substances

    <u>CW:</u>


    Soul examinations and talk of slave bindings! Big gooey snuggles from a slimegerl!


    ¡°Is this alright?¡± Wren asks.


    Fight to stay focused. To ignore¡­ ignore how wonderful her everything feels!


    And hope so much I¡¯m not distracting her.


    This solid soul I couldn¡¯t get enough of years ago. So cold and soft and endlessly¨C


    ¡°Lyra?¡± Awnya nudges, bubbling with a little worry.


    ¡°Y¨C yeah.¡± I blurt out and try not to curl everything in on myself to try and hide the heat I feel rising on my cheeks. ¡°F¨C f¨C f¨C f¨C fine.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± She smiles and reaches out to take up my hand.


    I¡¯m¡­ well, Wren thinks she sees something. But¡­ only the shadow of it. Or something. And insists it''s not the two extra spirits or little Jellyfish still too small to leave the mebe parts of my soul. We¡¯ve had Furthonois and the fuzzy Fae wiggle into the mebe parts for now while all our big Jellyfish paddled into the embrace of my Beloveds¡¯ souls.


    So the next idea was to just kinda have me stretch out my Amwella and¡­ um¡­ well just sit in her lap while she holds me from behind. Gooey limbs kinda wrapping around while she carefully pressed her chest against my back.


    ¡°Okay, so¡­ Would you be alright with me feeling around a bit now?¡± Wren murmurs.


    Nod once. Not trusting my voice to avoid being a mess.


    And¡­ so carefully and slowly this gooey soul starts to¡­ well¡­ nuzzle my Amwella. She doesn¡¯t need to check my tendrils, so they¡¯re free to wiggle about, but¡­ but she¡¯s touching the center of my soul. Less now but¡­ but¡­


    Can¡¯t suppress a little giggle and twitching of my everything when she rubs a sensitive spot.


    She pauses. ¡°Sorry I¡­ is this¡­?¡±


    ¡°Li¨C lll¨C little.¡± I whisper and fight to sit as still as possible. ¡°B¨C but oke. C¨C can k¨C keep going.¡±


    Tretion lets out a huffing chuckle at that, soul bubbling with a bit of relieved delight. ¡°I was not aware that souls could be ticklish.¡±


    ¡°Definitely gonna keep that in mind.¡± Our Fae mumbles to herself.


    Which just¡­ makes my cheeks flare with more warmth as Wren continues her probing and prodding and feeling of my soul. Doesn¡¯t take long though. For her to stop again and lean around to try and meet my eyes.


    ¡°Okay. I¡¯m in the right area, I think.¡± She states. ¡°But¡­ So this shard is weird. Like when trying to catch something in the waves of an ocean. Would you be willing to use your tails to help me like¡­ catch it?¡±


    Go still. Look to Tretion and Awnya as fear begins to bubble.


    ¡°Just to hold it still, Beloved. So we can examine it.¡± Our Watcher replies carefully. ¡°Nothing more for now unless you think it safe and agree.¡±


    And¡­ she¡¯s not lying. Isn¡¯t¡­ isn¡¯t planning to try and have Wren pull it out.


    Awnya squeezes my hand in support and glows with unsung songs of anticipation. Raska bubbles in¡­ weird emotions at that. Five spirits in her burning all sorts of ways but¡­ Doesn¡¯t say anything.


    So I nod. Curl a few smaller tendrils around and about to carefully fold back into my soul. Let Wren¡¯s wiggly gooey limbs shift to follow gently beside like a little fish beneath a big leviathan. Swirl into the deeper parts, to¡­ towards the shard.


    She¡¯s right, of course. It¡¯s like chasing a slippery small fish in a twisting river. But¡­ The water is me too so I still things for a second. Wrap around the shard so very carefully. Hold it still.


    Feel the odd buzzing song. No thoughts or anything just¡­ the little fuzzy feeling of the raging storm that is my Dark Goddess.


    ¡°Okay. Perfect.¡± Wren murmurs. ¡°Now, pass it to me.¡±


    Never held it like this. Can¡¯t help but¡­ but find the little radiating melody from it just¡­ perfect.


    A little piece of Thendra buried deep inside me. A promise.


    Shake my head. Curl tendrils about it tight. ¡°J¨C just l¨C look.¡±


    Everyone pauses for a second at that. Amwella wriggled like a worried and kinda annoyed bird. Except Wren, she just¡­ bubbles in somethings I can¡¯t read.


    ¡°Alright. Okay.¡± She agrees, then looks to Tretion, Awnya, and Raska. ¡°Can um¡­ can you see anything?¡±


    ¡°Nope, not even a little bit.¡± Our Fae answers.


    ¡°Not at all.¡± Tretion confirms. ¡°My... I¡¯m barely able to make out the shapes of her tendrils that deep.¡±


    Everyone looks to Raska then.


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    ¡°Not sure.¡± She finally murmurs after a few seconds of hard looking, eye¡¯s locked on the area where I clutch the shard. ¡°Like you said, Matron, this deep in the blaze everything is moving and shifting and already a mess. Her tendrils are obviously gripping something. And it must be dense and heavy as the cold rock bitch themselves to avoid cracking apart at that depth. And¡­ and that¡¯s not even considering how it survived all Lyra¡¯s Blight Weaving.¡±


    ¡°You said this came from that Reaver right? Thendra?¡± Wren asks. ¡°Like¡­ From her soul?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Tretion answers.


    ¡°What kind of magic did she use?¡± Wren leans back a little and to the side to look about us. ¡°Knowing how she did this will be super useful. Might just be a weird twist on Ukalon¡¯s magic, or¡­ maybe even Everflame things.¡±


    Bite my lip and keep my eyes locked on my stupid talons that grip Awnya¡¯s so tight.


    I¡¯ve avoided telling them as they ran their tests. Even when Awnya asked me directly more than a few times. Even¡­ even made sure to let me know that understanding the how could avoid needing to see Wren again.


    But¡­ Couldn¡¯t get the words out. Tried at least a dozen times but just¡­ The stupid tongue won¡¯t let me get more than a few ordered in a row! How¡­ how she¡­ she grew those weird tendrils and shoved them into me. Deeper than probably was safe. Stabbed all the way into the core of my everything. And just¡­ broken part of herself off there.


    And enjoyed doing it. Felt so much actual Dreamer Blighted Pleasure in those moments. Like¡­ Like I¡¯ve never seen her feel before or sense! Never been allowed to even try!


    How¡­ how much pleasure it brought my Dark Goddess to give me this.


    But¡­ also on the night after I lost my Tretion.


    How much I don''t want her to know what I gave away so quickly after losing her.


    ¡°That¡­ yes.¡± Tretion replies carefully, eyes dimming to show her loss of Amwella sight to meet my gaze. ¡°We¡¯ve¡­ It was a traumatic time and our Beloved struggles to explain.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ We¡¯ll do this backways.¡± Awnya leans forward and down to catch my gaze, lifts fingers up to her lips for a careful kiss. ¡°Alright love? Would you be okay with Wren poking that Shard a bit? Not taking it away. Just¡­ getting an idea of the texture and if it feels a way or so?¡±


    Take a deep breath¡­ and nod. Then whisper. ¡°Oke.¡±


    Peek up to give them all a hopefully confident smile. Tug the shard up so Wren can reach easier. She pauses, but nods and leans forward again. Reaches out to run smooth limbs gently across my tendril and down until she finds¡­ It?


    So weird. She¡¯s found the shard now. Is poking it and rubbing it like others might between two fingers. But¡­


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ squishy?¡± She whispers, rippling in obvious confusion. ¡°And¡­ huh. Seems to be kinda¡­ like¡­¡±


    She freezes. Form turning more dribbly than ever.


    ¡°Like what?¡± Raska presses. ¡°Talk to me girl. What¡¯s it like?¡±


    A pause, and then she murmurs softly. ¡°Me.¡±


    I¡­ what?


    ¡°In what fashion?¡± Tretion asks before anyone else can.


    ¡°A¡­ Porously weighted physical substance.¡± She mumbles. ¡°Made of Amwella. But¡­ concentrated. Soulflame feels like warm ashes to me, this feels¡­ textured. And there is an order to it. Also¡­ holes. Little ones. Constantly seem to be drawing in a little bit of Lyra.¡±


    ¡°Wait, it¡¯s taking bites off her?¡± Awnya very nearly yelps. Careful worry almost snapping to cold dread.


    ¡°No. Just¡­¡± Wren waves a spare limb in negation. ¡°Only a very small amount seems to be absorbed. No damage from what I feel.¡±


    ¡°Anything coming out of it?¡± Raska asks quietly.


    Soul a twisting mess of worry. And at her question I see everyone else wiggle with the same fear of that.


    ¡°Not that I can feel.¡± Wren answers, still nudging and feeling and poking at the shard. ¡°Just¡­ Absorbing about as much as everyone seems to lose throughout the day. Like sparks off a flame. I¡­ think if it did that, or anything other than absorbing, it would probably fall apart. Things this delicate are woven to be strong only one way.¡±


    That makes everyone relax so much to hear.


    ¡°Alright.¡± Awnya sighs, squeezes my hand. ¡°Okay. That¡¯s¡­ Basically confirming everything ya told us. No backways influence. Thank the Dreamer¡¯s Rotting Tits for that.¡±


    Lean into her touch. And let a tendril snuggle her and Tretion¡¯s Amwella and our Jellyfish snoozing within. Bask in this sudden burst of relief.


    Even¡­ even as a part of me Wishes that mebe I could hear and feel things coming from this shard.


    Ask more questions. Get more answers.


    ¡°This¡­ um¡­ This is still really bad.¡± Wren whispers. ¡°Worse than um¡­ well almost anything else I¡¯ve felt in others. Ukalon Feathers or other woven slave collars. Just¡­ um¡­¡±


    Naranggas twitch at that. Wanting to scream.


    Not A SLAVE!


    But¡­


    But I am. Or¡­ or was?


    Still not sure how to make sense of my feelings and Thendra¡¯s words and actions and¡­ and¡­


    Takes me a second to realize that Wren¡¯s gone totally quiet. Has gently pulled back but¡­ doesn¡¯t release my tendrils.


    Or the shard.


    ¡°Yes. Lady Wren.¡± Tretion sighs a little while moving up to sit closer to me. ¡°We¡¯re aware.¡±


    A pause, and then Wren presses carefully. ¡°Okay so¡­ We can get this out. Right now. Lyra or me. Would hurt a bit but even someone without her special soul or songs could heal quickly.¡±


    Twitch a bit at that, hard. Move to pull back from her but¡­


    Wren doesn¡¯t let go. I mean¡­ She Isn¡¯t gripping super hard. And not¡­ I know I could tug away. Or peel her off me. She¡¯s not even bracing like I think she could to make it a real contest. Is just¡­


    Scared? Desperate? And¡­ other things? Still am trying to understand what all her gooey wribblings mean.


    ¡°Wren¡­¡± Raska murmurs gently, lays a hand on one of the gooey girl¡¯s limbs.


    Things that are hard for me to think about.


    ¡°No. Raska. They¡­ they need to understand.¡± She hisses, obsidian eyes locked on mine. ¡°Lyra. This¡­ You really really need to get this out. Or let me do it. Please, just¡­ just tr...¡±


    I shake my head, and she trails off before she can say that last part.


    Tretion picks up Wren¡¯s dropped words, pulling me to settle in her lap while letting tendrils and arms wrap about in a soft embrace. ¡°We know. Have met the cruel woman who laid this and seen how she considers our Beloved.¡±


    ¡°So you know what these¡­ these kinds of things are meant to¡­ to do!?!¡± Wren replies, voice a messy blubber between a snap and a growl.


    ¡°Wh¨C what?¡± I whisper into the tense silence, try to¡­ to understand the meaning behind those words from the way all their souls twist and writhe.


    Let her see into me? Why¡­ Well I mean I know why my Beloveds hate that but why would Wren care?


    Awnya nods carefully, even speaks slower than normal. Tone even and voice lacking her normal bubbling and vibrant lilt. Totally opposite to how her Amwella dances in worry and annoyance and a bit of anger. ¡°We¡¯ve helped souls tied with worse over the years. And you said herself that this doesn¡¯t have anything bleeding into her Amwella, right?¡±


    ¡°Yes. But that¡­ You¡¯re close to her. I can see your marks all over each other.¡± Wren snaps, letting that sink in before her voice drops to a pained whisper. ¡°How can you¡­ you feel her and sit here like¡­ like¡­ this is all okay? Something you shouldn''t get out of her right away!?!¡±


    ¡°Well, because she''s safe.¡± Awnya replies easily. ¡°Can¡¯t rush this kinda thing. Do and¡­ Well, souls tend to slip backways pretty easily. Gotta take careful steps.¡±


    ¡°Not with this. Not when¨C¡±


    ¡°Wh¨C wh¨C what!?!¡± I growl, hard. Get everyone to just¡­ stop.


    Stop talking like I¡¯m not here.


    Wonderful Fae turns to smile a bit sadly at me, ¡°Sorry girl, should¡­ probably explain what this type of thing is. And¡­ why it¡¯s used. Didn¡¯t wanna go over all the possibilities until we knew more.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ O¨C oke?¡± Is my confused reply.


    A pause as my Beloveds look to each other. Both souls bubbling in a simple question I can read off their souls and faces really easily.


    Who should start explaining this?

 Chapter 142: Some Old Scars Can Fade Into Memory

    <u>CW:</u>


    Remembering getting burned. Burn wounds getting talked about.


    ¡°You, of course.¡± Tretion replies to their unspoken question. ¡°Please. I¡¯d tumble over the numbers and such unless you lead us through this explanation.¡±


    ¡°My thoughts exactly, love.¡± Awnya nods, ¡°Not that they aren¡¯t important. Just¡­ think Lyra and Wren might not absorb the main notes.¡±


    Wren sighs. ¡°I¡¯m intimately aware of the¡­ the knittings of these horrid things.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Awnya replies easily, warmer feeling fully back into her words now. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ Well, Dreamer¡¯s Tits. I¡¯m sorry to hear that. Binding tools are nasty at even their most simple. Only get more wretched when you find creative and¡­ experienced sorts.¡±


    ¡°Exactly.¡± Wren murmurs, seeming to curl a bit in on herself. ¡°Which is why I don¡¯t understand why you all act like¡­ such¡­ I don¡¯t know. We should be pulling this thing out and letting me melt it away into nothing.¡±


    I twitch at that. Hard enough to jerk tendril and shard free of Wren¡¯s grip and cause her to freeze. Normally dribbly body going a bit stiff and¡­ and kinda like¡­


    Like a not so little snake coiled and ready to pounce.


    Raska lets out a huff of a cackling laugh, startling us all and laying a hand on Wren as she jerks to glare at her Everflame. ¡°Wren. Girl. That¡¯s why. Now. Shut up and listen to the two that¡¯ve been saving girls like Lyra since before we met her. Alright?¡±


    Wren pauses, lets herself begin to ripple again and turns back to look at me and my Beloved¡¯s. I¡¯m about to try and try to force out my only apology as she watches as our Jellyfish wake up a bit and swim to nuzzle into the deeper parts of my Amwella.


    But Wren speaks first. ¡°Ukalon¡¯s Tits.¡± She huffs and seems to become a bit more puddly than I¡¯ve ever seen her. ¡°I¡¯m acting stupid. I just¡­ have a bad past with this sort of thing. Sorry for being a mess about this.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re forgiven,¡± Our Watcher replies immediately. ¡°This is¡­ not a thing we handled well at first. Have years of mistakes and¡­ and certainly felt the sting of wounds not tended to carefully.¡±


    Wren winces and looks down. ¡°This place is filled with souls you¡¯ve put everything into saving. I¡­ But¡­ please. You wanted to explain?¡±


    ¡°Sure did. To both you and Lyra.¡± Awnya smiles gently and leans forward to smooth the grass out in front of her.. ¡°So, I¡¯m pretty sure everyone here is familiar with the more¡­ well, let¡¯s say pointed ways horrid sorts control those they see as their property. Even without any kind of magic you¡¯ve got lots of options to break people into being what you want. Enchanted collars and even Ukalon¡¯s nasty feathers are just¡­ often faster ways to the same end. Honestly.¡±


    I¡­ don¡¯t like the bubbling mess that rises in my tummy at her words. The memories of those first weeks and what¡­ what my Thendra would do to make me obey without question.


    What¡­ what she¡¯s about to probably call me. Or¡­ what she¡¯s about to say how¡­ how my Dark Goddess saw me.


    But our wonderful Watcher must feel that in me. Curls about me tighter to add. ¡°And¡­ generally we like to start with removing any physical or magical limits to a rescued soul. Reminders to the past when we find them a new community to join. But¡­ we¡¯ve long learned it is best to not demand it as a requirement for sanctuary and freedom here.¡±


    ¡°Exactly. Sometimes they get upset about it, and we nudge them into sorts that have the best words and songs for them.¡± Awnya continues. ¡°Often wait for them to ask for things to be removed. Giving them the power to choose to cast away old chains is¡­ powerful. Seen types heal years of pain in a day when we let them endure a few weeks with a collar or pair of feathers, then let them ask for them to be torn off.¡±


    ¡°And¡­¡± Wren interjects, but adjusts and murmurs softly. ¡°Sorry. May I ask a question?¡±


    ¡°Course.¡± Awnya agrees.


    ¡°What if the enchantment or collar or¡­ or whatever it is, poses a danger? To them or others?¡±


    Our Fae tip-taps her nose. ¡°Ah. That one''s tricky. Danger to others means we gotta keep ''em isolated a bit. But only danger to themselves? We like to wait till there is no other choice. Try hard to match them to communities that¡¯ll help them want to be free of whatever binds them.¡±


    Wren takes that in, obsidian eyes rolling up and down me again. Enough that I have to look away.


    ¡°Lyra¡­¡± She starts carefully, but words grow a little more pleading as she speaks each one. ¡°You¡­ This¡­ Everything you feel about her. All your¡­ your affections and needs and¡­ and more they¡­ it''s because she cheated! Laid this thing to let her know you better than you understand yourself and use that to¡­ to twist you. Always give you the smallest amount to make you see her as everything you ever needed.¡±


    Huff and fibble fingers in annoyance as I try very hard not to¡­ to think about that. How easily she already understood me and how I loved it and¡­ and how much this shard meant to me.


    Still means to me.


    ¡°A¨C asked. L¨C let h¨C her. B¨C b¨C bec¨C ca¨C cause K¨C k¨C kept me.¡± I whisper, then look up to see her face torn by such horror and pain.


    Wren''s reply is the soften whisper. ¡°That¡¯s exactly what she¡¯s taught you to say. Even to think.¡±


    ¡°N¨C n¨C no o¨C one b¨C be¨C belie¨C¡± Growl and almost skip the word but¡­ force it out. ¡°Be¨C Leevs¨C eeves¡­ Me. Am D¨C d¨C dan¨C ngerrrous. M¨C mon¨C monssst¨C ster.¡±


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    ¡°Hey, Lyra that¡¯s¨C¡± Awnya starts to interject into my sputtering words.


    Wrong? How¡­ how could she forget how I hurt her with my Naranggas? Or¡­ or bled Blight?


    ¡°No!¡± I snap, and she stops. Lets me continue ¡°E¨C e¨C ev¨C even b¨C b¨C bef¨C fffrrr¨C ore. Br¨C br¨C broken. Bl¨C bl¨C blight¨C ed. H¨C h¨C hur¨C hurt e¨C ev¨C every¨C one.¡±


    ¡°Beloved.¡± Tretion whispers gently, but nothing more. Even reaches over to lay a head noodle on Awnya to stop her from interrupting me again as I pause to catch my breath and push through the words I need to share.


    And worse¡­ I did kill my first Beloved Bound. See everyday how my mistakes and lack of control stole away so much from her. Can see the little wounds between soul and flesh. Hate to¡­ to imagine how long it took her to recover after the manor grew her a new soul.


    ¡°Al¨C al¨C always.¡± I spit, glaring at nothing while my Amwella feels everything. Forcing me to understand the every twist and wiggle of soulflame at my words. ¡°E¨C ev¨C even. N¨C n¨C nnn¨C now. Th¨C th¨C thee¨C Thendra t¨C tr¨C trained m¨C me. Br¨C brrr¨C broke. M¨C me. G¨C ggaaa¨C ve c¨C cont¨C trol. N¨C nee¨C need. W¨C w¨C won¡¯t b¨C be st¨C stu¨C stupid again.¡±


    They are all so quiet after that. Souls and gooey form rippling in patterns of pain and guilt and¡­ and worry and¡­ and shame and¡­


    ¡°Lyra, Can I be honest?¡± Raska whispers. Scooting forward to kneel in front of me.


    I don¡¯t look up. Just¡­ sigh. Nod.


    ¡°We¡¯ll be burning with nothing but happiness when you do decide to yank it out, more when you finally toss it away, but¡­ That needs to come slow. Careful. Gotta see and feel that you can build a life without her. Right?¡± She murmurs.


    I nod again without looking up.


    ¡°We¡¯ll all hate it, but you can keep that shard as long as you want and¡­ I¡¯ll even understand it. Cause everything you just said reminds me of how terrified I was to leave my controlling mums and stupid siblings to¡­ to build something better. Took me a long time to pull away fully. Even after forging the body I needed.¡±


    Risk a glance up as she echoes my Beloveds¡¯ words. Find her eyes not locked on mine but¡­ aimed at¡­ at my¡­


    ¡°But¡­ these?¡± Raska reaches out, carefully and so gently lifts and touches my left arm.


    Cold stone fingers cradling the burns her flame tore across me.


    I freeze as my Amwella twists and flinches in such a spike of fear and guilt.


    ¡°You don¡¯t need this. These aren¡¯t about her.¡± She whispers, and her body shakes with each word. The tears she cannot shed instead sparking off her soul. ¡°Took me forever to understand why you won¡¯t let them go either.¡±


    I want to tug my arm away, to scream a Riftwalk and run, to dive into my sea and not have to¡­ to think about this.


    This reminder to myself I¡¯m betraying with every second I spend with my Beloveds.


    ¡°They don¡¯t keep you or us or¡­ or anyone safe.¡± Raska rasps, every word echoes the feelings of all five sparks that burn across her gorgeous soul. ¡°And we both know this isn¡¯t who you¡­ you Dream to be.¡±


    My beloved Fae¡¯s words to me so long ago ring through my ears as I feel this Everflame¡¯s bubbling sorrow thrash and blaze through her gorgeous soul.


    What I¡­ Dream to be?


    ¡°Fae don¡¯t dream of what we are, but of what we want to be.¡± Awnya takes my other hand, ¡°Everyday you fight to be that, in every way you can, that¡¯s what makes you Fae.¡±


    She pulls, very gently, leading down the sloped path. ¡°Especially since you were dreaming of it before you knew any songs.¡±


    Haven¡¯t¡­ haven¡¯t felt happy with my form since¡­ well, since a long time ago. Since I started learning the curse words and letting them Blight my talons. Needed to change to be what Thendra needed.


    To¡­ to stop being a slave.


    Needed to stop being a stupid weak thing only good for a quick bite.


    Had to get strong.


    Be a Reaver.


    Gave up my perfect form for a Dark Goddess'' Dream.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know how much you changed this body for Thendra, to¡­ to become what she wanted you to be.¡± Raska speaking the thoughts I won''t even whisper, her lips trembling as body shakes even harder. ¡°But¡­ She didn¡¯t do this. I did. And¡­ and I¡¯m so sorry. I was wrong and stupid and everything I hate. But I don¡¯t want you burned girl. Please. Don¡¯t¡­ d¨C don¡¯t keep these. Let them go. Even if you never wanna see me or mine ever again just¡­ Please let them go. D¨C don¡¯t¡­ don¡¯t k¨C keep them as¡­ as some kind of mark to make you think you¡¯re just gonna hurt everyone you love. Don''t let my mistakes stop you from finding even a spark of your happiness.¡±


    Burns itch and bite and tear so much as this Everflame does everything but weep while gently cradling my arm. As¡­ as I see the wonderful old lover of mine come apart at¡­ at the thought of me like I am.


    Covered in the ugly burns she tore across flesh the day she threw me away.


    ¡°R¨C Raska¡­¡± I whimper, leaning forward from my Watcher¡¯s embrace to bump head into hers. Reaching up and around to wrap my free talon and arm around her while crying enough tears for us both.


    Feeling split in half. Wanting to¡­ to feel free of old scars but¡­ but also scared to let that song bubble up and heal the wounds.


    As much as they feel wrong they¡­ feel as much a part of me as¡­ as¡­


    ¡°What happened that day was my fault. My mistake. My fear and pain and stupid anger boiling at onto a girl that only deserved better.¡± She very nearly wails, moving to mush her soul more into the tendril that grips it. ¡°Please feel that. As much as you need.¡±


    As old horrible flesh. The stuff my old life hurt me with and this Dream tried to wrap about me.


    That¡­ cracks something. As I cradle this girl who burned me. Moving to twist more and more Naranggas about her soul.


    The¡­ the promise I made to myself at the start of my flesh changes when my mom suggested I could keep some of the old bits. How much easier it would be to just¡­ change those.


    How much I knew that wouldn¡¯t work. Even then. Knew I had to tear everything away and weave it myself.


    But¡­ But this IS my flesh.


    Everything scarred and broken and burned everything I wanted and wove just¡­ torn apart and broken. Any resemblance to the old something I chose to keep and sing into and through myself.


    And¡­ My Jellyfish did remind me of that old song.


    Is¡­ is that still me?


    Turn the melody over in my mind and soul as Raska melts into my embrace. Wren and our Beloveds staying close. Quietly listening. Waiting. Filling with anxiety that Raska¡¯s pushing too hard. Is scaring me. That her pleading for this is just going to hurt me.


    But¡­ I finally whisper. ¡°Oke.¡±


    Feel everyone¡¯s soul twist in new ways at that. Wiggling in¡­ in such hope.


    Raska freezes, replies back so softly from deep in my arms and tendrils. ¡°You¡­ yeah?¡±


    ¡°Oke.¡± I repeat, chewing on my lip and considering the song.


    Start¡­ really small. So soft it would be hard to notice if everyone wasn¡¯t being quiet.


    Still not used to this stupid tongue but¡­ the Fae words weren¡¯t things I was good with anyway. And Awnya herself mostly hums and whistles and at most mumbled them all messily. I don¡¯t need anything but my¡­ my desires.


    And¡­ while my time wordless did teach me how to sing better without Fae words, it wasn¡¯t what taught me how to weave my flesh to be like I always wanted. My mother did that. Taught me that the words are secondary to the things our Amwella burns for.


    Jellyfish wake up and wiggle about when they hear my song. Begin to yip and coo and add their voices to mine. Even the Fuzzy Fae helps from the mebe parts as it learns the tune. Starts to help our pretty Keshada hum along.


    Awnya remembers helping me get my tongue back, of course, and sings with us. And¡­ and while Tretion doesn¡¯t know where to even start. I can¡¯t help but giggle through the tear drenched song at how cutely her head tendrils sway to the tune.


    Slowly, and carefully. Finding my old parts to shape my Fae flesh back into more like it was.


    Not perfect. Probably never was.


    Just¡­ better than before.


    Always.


    In in the arms of such loving souls, I let some old scars start to fade.


    Maybe... maybe even someday to just live in memory.

 Chapter 143: In This House, We Let Broken Girls Make Their Own Choices

    <u>CW:</u>


    Headmate wiggles. Talk of abuse and bite marks as trophies. Talk of Sex as rewards to a slave/abused gerl.


    ¡°I¡­ This¡­ I have so many questions.¡± Tretion sputters after a few long moments of looking through the journal we¡¯ve filled up with so many words.


    ¡°Um¡­ oke?¡± I reply and nod. ¡°Is¡­ um¡­ is it oke?¡±


    Over a week of work on this. Trying to¡­ to not just write out but correctly explain the ways this is both like my Beloved¡¯s scratchy magic, and how it¡¯s Fae Song, and¡­ mostly how it''s neither of those. But we did it! Myself and this pretty Keshada in the mebe parts of my soul worked out how to mangle the inside feelings into outside words! Sprang up from our nook here above this sleepy community I claimed and hunted my Watcher through the manor. Nearly tackled her in a brumble of joy while shoving the completed journal into her arms.


    A big journal of us trying to write out how to make Amwella lightning.


    Then we got some food, came back to our chambers, and now I sit waiting for her to tell me its a mess but one she loves and like¡­ maybe lets us try again.


    But those crimson eyes dance up from my messy handwriting to meet mine. ¡°Beloved¡­ There are exactly twenty-two tomes and Incantations I can recall that took me longer than a week to parse. Only two of them remain beyond me, but they were written by entities who bore skills and Amwella beyond anything one such as I could mimic. And that does not include the dozen I quickly discovered were flawed and therefore unworkable. This¡­ Is a masterwork. You¡¯ve taken magic I assumed either unique to specific gifted individuals, or so costly it was beyond reason to even consider, and made it not just castable for a novice but also cheaper than I expected.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ Wh¨C what?¡± I stammer and look away to try and hide a blush. ¡°No it¡¯s just¡­ m¨C messy¡­ Nothing im¨C important.¡±


    My pretty Keshada gives me such a look from within, nudges me and hisses playfully. [Do not think to insult our work, Dear. Your Watcher has the right of it.]


    And before I can nudge her back Tretion is reaching out to raise a finger to my cheek. Cold scales draw me to reflexively lean into the touch.


    ¡°Beloved, you can feel that I¡¯m not speaking flattery.¡± She murmurs with a grin while tendrils that curl about me wiggle to match her Amwella spoken words. ¡°I expected this to be messy. Confusing. You trying to force your understanding of songcraft through the sharp edges of a Wretched Incantation. Something that by all rights probably wouldn¡¯t work, but I would consume with delight. A gift to understand how your wonderful mind works. But this¡­ Lyra. I¡¯m struggling to explain how valuable this would be to anyone who practices the type of magic I do. You¡¯ve begun to rebuilt a long burnt bridge between two very different magics.¡±


    B¨C but¡­ I¡­ No. It really is just stupid nonsense. I took your silly mangled thing and just¡­ smoothed it out! This week of translations has been so much harder than¡­ than¡­


    [Exactly, and yet you¡¯ve done both.] Furthonois replies. [And with only a murmur of help from me after I outlined and explained the concepts of Incanting.]


    No idea how to reply to either of them. Except to¡­ to just squeeze everything tight. Falling into a hug of arms and tendrils and soul tails.


    Only after holding back a mess of tears able to mumble out. ¡°C¨C couldn¡¯t d¨C do w¨C without F¨C furrr¨C tho¨C n¨C nois.¡±


    My Beloved Bound¡¯s soul wiggles in all sorts of emotions at that, but she nods as something solidifies in her. ¡°I¡¯d like to actually ask her about this. Know what parts come from her side of this collaboration. And¡­ grow to understand how we can continue to help her as well.¡±


    I¡¯d¡­ long ago told my beloveds about the memories I¡¯d experienced after gobbling up my pretty Keshada¡¯s soul. Both to try and understand what it all meant but¡­ also because it worried me. How alike we were. Both just¡­ trying to find our happiness. And once the spirits from the shadows started bubbling, I so easily understood how she got hurt and twisted into the cruel Godthing I met.


    Furthonois thinks on my Tretion¡¯s words for a long time, then¡­ carefully and hesitantly offers me her reply.


    ¡°Um¡­ Oke. S¨C says thank y¨C you.¡± I whisper slowly and try to keep my words steady. ¡°Jjust¡­ W¨C wants wh¨C what I promised. S¨C safety. N¨C no s¨C sending b¨C back to the shadows. Wh¨C wants to help keep little J¨C jelly¨C fish safe. W¨C will k¨C keep h¨C helping. W¨C w¨C wants to watch and j¨C just¡­ r¨C rest.¡±


    My Watcher nods, and seems to try and tilt to aim her gaze past me. Right at Furthonois. ¡°Of course, that is our arrangement. But let me be¡­ clear. I¡¯d rather you ask us for something, than scheme around me or Lyra to gain it. You mayhaps be one of the oldest beings I¡¯m hosting within my manor. Have¡­ a long and storied history of abusing those beneath your divinity. Killed and hurt and tortured so many we¡¯ve spent a decade trying to keep safe. But, you are not the only one here with blood on her talons. And I would like to claim the former Goddess of Theradas as an ally whom I don¡¯t need to worry about wounding my beloved from within. And to be blunt, your primary scheme already failed, yes?¡±


    I tilt my head in curiosity, not knowing what scheme she¡¯s talking about. But¡­ Furthonois bubbles with sudden fear and guilt and¨CIf you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    ¡°The mark, I mean.¡± Tretion adds, ¡°You¡¯re blessing of the Old Road my Beloved gained from you the day she bought my freedom. You gifted that odd thing out to all who showed the same strength you did, for hundreds of years now. And everyone assumed it was just¡­ an oddity. But it was woven because you knew you¡¯d eventually die. A plan to ensure your safety past your death within your new host.¡±


    Oh. Well¡­ yeah. That was obvious. I say to my Keshada.


    Furthonois stills, terror twisting to¡­ curiosity. Confusion woven from a gap of understanding why this wasn¡¯t something we threatened her about before.


    ¡°B¨C because h¨C helping now.¡± I reply to her unspoken question.


    ¡°And we don¡¯t delight in petty cruelties to former foes.¡± Tretion nods and agrees. ¡°It¡¯s wasteful, and I hate treating people so¡­ causticly. You are welcome so long as you continue to not harm my beloved or others within my manor. Would even like to attempt to convince you to help me test some research when Lyra finds the time and patience to speak for you.¡±


    My Keshada kinda¡­ sputters out at that. But all in good ways.


    ¡°N¨C needs time.¡± I giggle. ¡°All wiggly. K¨C kinda scared. B¨C but thinking y¨C yes?¡±


    ¡°She can take her time, as will I.¡± Tretion smiles and taps the book. ¡°Thank you both for this. It is a wonderful gift.¡±


    **    **    **


    ¡°She looks¡­ so much better.¡± Raska whispers, those spark eyes locked on the little place between the trees my Beloveds have drifted off in.


    ¡°She really is.¡± I agree.


    ¡°And¡­ you? Awnya?¡±


    I consider myself, inside and out. Brush the memories of death and rotting eyes and the souls I stole from this Dream. Flinch through my unrestrained smirk to her and shrug. ¡°Better, still sore, still¡­ a mess. At times. They have to catch me from tumbling. But I''m healing. Will just take time.¡±


    Raska nods. ¡°Good. Good. If there is something you need just ask, yeah?¡±


    ¡°You already know pretty much everything we wanna do.¡± I chuckle. ¡°Even if you weren¡¯t far more than a duenna to us, waking up to see Lyra nuzzled happily in your arms a third of nights gives you a good ear for the songs we¡¯re singing.¡±


    If she could blush, I think this Everflame would have a bit, but instead I just get to enjoy how that little flame between dark horns dances while her eyes glimmer.


    ¡°I¡­¡± She whispers after a second, then turns to look back to my Beloved¡¯s. ¡°Is that alright?¡±


    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t it be?¡± I press.


    She sighs and huffs so hard a few sparks sputter out. Looks down at the meal we¡¯ve long stopped picking at.


    ¡°I mean it, Raska.¡± I reply to the unspoken anxieties I can literally feel bleeding off her. ¡°Lyra isn¡¯t keeping you around cause she¡¯s lacking for good cuddles. Our girl adores you. And your words were exactly what she needed to hear in the days after seeing the old cunt again.¡±


    ¡°But¡­ the burns aren¡¯t fully healed.¡± She challenges with such a pained look.


    ¡°Nope, but neither are the scars in her heart.¡± I whisper back. ¡°Maybe ever. But also, and you really need to get this. The rest of her was in really rough shape, Raska. Her skin was¡­ flawless, when I first met her. And, trust you me, I got close looks at every inch.¡±


    This Everflame can¡¯t stop a snort from bubbling up. ¡°I¡­ yeah? Just¡­ Dreadweave¡¯s Tits, she¡¯d been alone with Thendra for years by the time I met her. Would never have guessed she was Fae unless she sang or told me herself. Just¡­ looked pretty much human. And a pretty well weathered one at that.¡±


    Don''t even hide my wince at those words. ¡°Keep that between us, yeah? She¡¯s¡­ sensitive about it. Doesn¡¯t seem to want much more from her body except what she wove but¡­ lots of cruel types have taught her to think she¡¯s lesser because of it.¡±


    Raska takes then in for a bit before whispering. ¡°Like Thendra.¡±


    I tap my nose. ¡°Exactly, others too. But Lyra had to shift flesh from just¡­ soft snuggly desires to harder things. Shapes meant to survive the stuff Thendra wanted her doing, and did to our girl herself.¡±


    Raska nods, takes a breath before asking. ¡°And¡­ the bite marks all across her? Those look worse than before.¡±


    Really really nasty things. As her skin slowly has shifted to seem more vibrant and like I once new her, burn scars fading to only slightly off colored bits, those¡­ big things have seemed to grow more red and angry. Looking only a few days healed and barely scabbed over.


    We¡¯ve tried to ask her about them but she kinda shuts up like a clam every time.


    ¡°From¡­ What we guess.¡± I reply carefully. ¡°They¡¯re kinda a good example of why we wanted to keep you from pestering her early on. Those marks are like¡­ trophies to her. We think. Things mangled up with her complicated feelings about the big cunt.¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡± Raska growls like others curse. ¡°Things she earned. I¡­ yeah. Alright. I never fell into that but I have siblings that keep all their best scars. From both fights outside and¡­ and inside.¡±


    I sigh and nod. ¡°That¡¯s our worry. That she doesn¡¯t see them as like¡­ bruises or scars beaten into her. Because the big cunt used sex, and the really rough kind, to reward her for obeying.¡±


    That makes Raska slump a bit. ¡°Yeah. Then I¡¯ll keep this the way it is then. Avoid adding to them.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± I turn, confused.


    ¡°Our sex was¡­ Look, I love a rough fuck, Awnya.¡± Raska explains, looking down. ¡°Not always, of course. But when I find a gerl able to handle my blaze and wanting that I¡­ get stupid. Lose control sometimes. It¡¯s why Wren and I mix so well. She loves my Amwella like others like spicy food, and her cool form is basically immune to everything I could ever try to throw at her.¡±


    ¡°And¡­ Lyra did too. Didn¡¯t she?¡±


    ¡°Yep.¡± She nods. ¡°Lots of it too. Always healed up quickly from what I could see. Both in body and soul.¡±


    ¡°Huh.¡± I repeat. ¡°Well, so long as she¡¯s wanting to I don¡¯t see a problem with you two getting closer. Especially with how her soul can hug you tight as she likes now. Just make sure to talk before anyone starts biting. Both for her and yourself.¡±


    Raska shakes her head. ¡°Naw. Nope. Gonna¡­ be a responsible girl and not think with my cunt or¡­ whatever I have in the moment. Want to make sure she¡¯s stable before asking about that.¡±


    Purse lips and think for a bit. Easily hear the stubbornness in Raska¡¯s words, but also the pain. How much she wishes¡­


    ¡°Things¡­ will never be like before, Raska.¡± I start carefully. ¡°Can¡¯t be. For lots of reasons. And if you don¡¯t want sex with her that¡¯s okay. She understands that. But the worst thing you could do, if our girl bubbles up with the courage to ask you for something you both want, is tell her no because you think she¡¯s not ready. Or won¡¯t handle it well. Or might get a little bruised. She¡¯s¡­ hurt. Messy. Doesn¡¯t see herself with a kind eye. But she¡¯s not a child, and not a slave. The best thing we can do is let her make some mistakes with us. Heal and grow together.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ Are you sure?¡± She whispers, those stone talons digging into the grass. ¡°Is she ready for a cunt like me getting that close again?¡±


    I shrug while moving to stand. ¡°No idea. But that¡¯s her song to sing. Just¡­ be ready to catch her when she might tumble. Slow down if it¡¯s too much for you. Alright?¡±


    Raska nods. ¡°Y¨C yeah. Alright. You¡¯ll¡­ keep an eye on us both? Make sure I don¡¯t overstep?¡±


    I can¡¯t help but giggle at that. ¡°What, by the Dreamer and Her bouncing tits, did you think we''ve been doing?¡±

 Chapter 144: Seeking Closure and An Old Reavers Perspectives

    <u>CW:</u>


    Mebeeee... Kinda clean? Talk of wanting more than just snuggles and talking to old lovers and also a Reaver as she explains some murples!


    I¡­ kinda forgot how strong Raska is. Am a bit of a mess on the inside as she basically picks me up from where I was snuggling with her, turns me around, and settles me to sit a bit away from her. Her core and even all Five Spirits within finally gathering up the courage to ask the questions I¡¯ve felt burning through her since like¡­ well, a while.


    Not always the same. And it¡¯s shifted a few times.


    First when I was able to avoid panicking when waking up in her arms that second time.


    Again when we were saving slaves in Theradas.


    Then¡­ when I started healing the burns yesterday. Which¡­ I still panic about sometimes. That doing that was a mistake. That I was being stupid. But knew better than to say that to anyone but the spirits that share a soul with me. And they both weirdly are understanding and sweet and like¡­ even cuddle me a bit over it.


    Only really push back if I call myself stupid too much.


    And lastly, yesterday. Woke up from a nap with our Tretion to feel Awnya and Raska coming over to join us. Must have talked about things because she¡¯s just been¡­ bubbling up both the courage and the opportunity.


    I think.


    And my Beloved¡¯s just stepped away to go check on something with Lenelope and the manor so¡­ we¡¯re alone. They even both took a good bundle of our little ones and left me with just the most sleepy two or three who refused to follow the others. But Raska was happy to cuddle me for a while before moving me. Now wears such a serious expression that like¡­ is very opposite to what the core of her soul is struggling to deal with.


    Can¡¯t help but giggle as I pull the two tendrils nuzzling her back to give this Everflame the space to think, enjoy as her everything hesitates in surprise at me.


    ¡°Oke. Sorry. Oke. J¨C just¡­ cute. Um... Sorry.¡± I whisper.


    She huffs and grins, waving at the tendrils. ¡°They can stay, honestly. Just¡­ mostly wanted to get some distance. Make sure like¡­ the skinship you¡¯ve been giving me doesn¡¯t muddle this. Me. Mostly.¡±


    I consider that, then slip only a single one of my soul tails up and around her warm wonderful soul. Try very hard not to bask in what I¡¯m pretty sure is a messy mix of horniiness, worry, guilt, excitement, hope, and¡­ and all the things.


    Things I can¡¯t help but really enjoy feeling in her. Even¡­ even the bad stuff. Because knowing lets me like¡­ not worry that any bad things are worse things.


    It¡¯s... probably wrong or something to need this? To need to feel her every twisting of soul muses else start to panic that she might¡­ might suddenly hate me again. Want to hurt me like before.


    ¡°Okay. Right.¡± She begins, pulling me from that thought. ¡°I¡­ I just¡­ So we started off oddly, before. Back when we first met. I didn¡¯t realize what¡­ like¡­ how bad things were for you. With her. And starting everything with sex, while feeling really amazing, was not fair of me. Then how I¡­ I dragged you to meet the others, while still naked, just really¡­ I was stupid. Really stupid. And never offered you anything but physical stuff when you really needed more. A lot more. And I knew you might. But took advantage and never let that worry lead me to do anything but try and steal you away more to be with me and my gerls. Let them try and peel some answers about your past out. Eventually was going to try and talk you into staying after our Oaths passed. But you know all that. And just¡­ After what I did. I didn¡¯t expect you to want anything to do with me, girl. And that you do and we¡¯re always so close I¡­ I wanted to talk to you about that. What you might want from this. And go from there. But if skinship and friendship is everything then that¡¯s¡­ so perfect too. And I¡¯ll be happy to know that.¡±


    Was ready for her to ask this. If... if I wanted more than just good snuggles. And like... rest is... sweet. Not sure how much I want to think about it all but...


    ¡°Oke. Yes. M¨C more is good. Please.¡± I whisper, and can¡¯t stop my pursed lips from tilting upwards as I look down at my talons. ¡°Um¡­ But.¡±


    Worry she¡¯ll tilt into worry or anger at that last word.


    ¡°Course.¡± She replies immediately, soul sparking with hope and relief. ¡°Anything. All the butts you need.¡±


    Can¡¯t help but giggle at that, both the silliness and my own relief. Then look up to let my gaze find hers. ¡°Just¡­ C¨C careful. M¨C mebe slow? A¨C at first? S¨C sometimes¡­ um¡­ m¨C might um¡­ Need t- to stop. K¨C kinda br¨C br¨C broken. In pl¨C places. Inside a¨C and outside.¡±


    Expect her to tell me I¡¯m wrong but¡­


    ¡°I get that. Yeah, and that¡¯s a good idea.¡± She agrees. ¡°And if we try something that makes you change your mind, that''s perfect too. No obligations here, girl. You¡¯re in control of how quick we wanna take this. Or when we end it. And I¡¯ll just be happy to have been able to see you finding some happiness.¡±


    ¡°Oke.¡± I murmur. ¡°But um¡­ also¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah?¡±


    Sigh and look away. ¡°I Sh¨C should t¨C talk to S¨C Sevy and Zephin. B¨C be¨C fore.¡±


    The last two of the four other girls that loved me and kept me all those years ago. And¡­ also didn¡¯t throw me away. Screamed and shouted for Raska to¡­ to stop. But weren¡¯t strong enough to even walk within arm¡¯s reach. Who apparently have been really mad at Raska ever since. More when they discovered I was here. Have¡­ have tried to look for me and maybe even catch me early on when I was still getting used to my new soul¡¯s senses.


    But this¡­ weirdly relaxes her a lot. Which makes me look back up with what must be a really obvious amount of confusion.


    She grins shyly, core wiggling with some embarrassment. ¡°Honestly, didn¡¯t know how to handle that. Would never push you into seeing people you don¡¯t want. Even if I think they have nothing but good sparks popping from them. But¡­ They¡¯re pretty angry about me being the one of us able to be close to you. Since like¡­ I was the cunt who fucked everything up.¡±


    Nibble on my cheek and¡­ Feel so stupid. That¡­ that me, A Reaver and godthing and Fae is¡­ so afraid of talking with two girls who were nothing but wonderful. Who weren¡¯t even strong enough to stop Raska. Were nothing but soft and patient.


    ¡°But¡­ also like¡­ You¡¯re not a bad person for wanting to avoid people that make you uncomfortable.¡± Raska adds, carefully reaches out and takes up a Talon of mine.


    ¡°Th¨C they did n¨C nothing wrong.¡± I mumble. ¡°J¨C just me¡­ stupid. Scared. B¨C but mostly stupid.¡±


    ¡°I mean¡­ Not really?¡± She replies. ¡°Like¡­ It doesn¡¯t matter if they¡¯re the best people ever. If you don¡¯t wanna see or talk to them then like¡­ that should be your call. Even¡­ even as much as I think this will be good for you. That hearing them tell you themselves everything will help. You and I only met and got close because the Matron needed a bitch of a cunt able to sense the little changes in your soul. Then later to like... watch over you.¡±This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± I sigh and sway a bit. ¡°Still N¨C not fair. T¨C too them.¡±


    She shrugs. ¡°Like¡­ Sure, but that¡¯s on me. And I knew that when I asked to move and help out here. Getting to just¡­ keep your home safe was me trying to make some things right. Also giving them a life that doesn¡¯t need me around to keep it stable.¡±


    ¡°Oke. Oke¡­¡± I murmur. ¡°When?¡±


    ¡°Honestly? If you¡¯re ready nowish they¡¯ll both probably drop everything to see you again.¡±


    I purse my lips, then¡­ nod and repeat. ¡°Oke.¡±


    **    **    **


    ¡°And¡­ after that?¡± She asks after a few moments of silence.


    Undreka, the former Reaver of Thendra, listened to our retelling with¡­ far more emotion than I expected. Still not as much as would be preferred to try and understand her, but¡­ enough to let us know that she¡¯s listening. Pointedly.


    ¡°Then we came home and slept for a few eternities.¡± My Beloved Fae finishes for the chair next to mine just outside the barrier between us. ¡°Even got Lyra to let us start to try and figure out more about this shard.¡±


    ¡°And¡­ What did you discover?¡± She asks from within her much larger space than the last time we talked. Expanded as she seems to treat the couple people we¡¯ve set to help her with nothing but indifferent politeness. But¡­ we¡¯ve long since learned to not trust that from dangerous sorts we¡¯ve saved. Still keep a Manor¡¯s containment bubble established between us.


    ¡°That it seems to only to give Thendra her like¡­ emotions. Probably thoughts. But doesn¡¯t do the reverse. Nothing coming out.¡±


    Undreka hums a low sound of acknowledgement to that. Focus seems to roll past us as she thinks on all we¡¯ve shared.


    ¡°So¡­ What do you know about this?¡± Awnya presses as the silence stretches.


    Those dull gray eyes snap back to us at the question. ¡°As much as you¡¯ve told me.¡±


    ¡°Ah, but I can see the songs stirring behind your eyes, you have guesses and assumptions and¡­ even a little anger." My Beloved grins at her. "Willing to share?¡±


    The former Reaver actually lets a small smile touch her lips at that. ¡°No, but I will. This is¡­ not something I was aware Thendra could do. Or would desire. But slowly recovered recollections may one day present me with that. For now I will give some of my better assumptions.¡±


    ¡°That would be most welcome.¡± I agree while adjusting to sit more comfortably.


    ¡°It is a Spirit Hook. Much like Ukalon¡¯s Feathers or some crude metal creation. Probably very simple but¡­ deftly woven to its purposes.¡± She begins. ¡°Some are obvious. A direct perception of Lyra and her brood. Some less so. Being formed from the stuff deep within Thendra¡¯s core, the deepest parts of the Amwella, means it also bears sympathetic links like Ukalon¡¯s do. Even if they don¡¯t seem to gift her much, the sparks from one such as Lyra are precious to us that drink soulflame. Even before she was Fae or Godling.¡±


    ¡°I can assume, but¡­ also would like you to explain that.¡± I press. ¡°What about her Amwella let her travel here?¡±


    ¡°Because she didn¡¯t have Amwella before, it was¡­¡± Undreka trails off, seems to puzzle over and both of us are happy to let her find the most precise words. ¡°Something else. She was her flame, and it was her. Which is not the case for others. As you are not your hand or leg or heart. Those are simply disparate, if important, pieces. It is the same for Amwella. But to dwell within the Fae¡¯s Broken Dream and alter it with will and ways, you must carry some. So either she was gifted this or sparked it as the young do.¡±


    Can¡¯t help but smile at that. How¡­ how even this Reaver accidentally affirms that the loss of my first Amwella was not some indication that I¡¯m not the woman from before. While this is something I knew in my mind, I¡­ often found myself worried about that. Especially upon my first Beloved Bound¡¯s return.


    That she would see a new soul and not consider me the woman from before.


    ¡°Huh, sounds about right.¡± Awnya agrees. ¡°Can I ask why you call it that? Most types¡­ don¡¯t really think much of my kind¡¯s views on the Dream. And like¡­ we don¡¯t really think it belongs to us. As much as many will try to ask like they do.¡±


    ¡°That¡­ is not something I understand fully either.¡± The big woman replies, even lets her expression show her annoyance. ¡°Other than it is so. The Rifts and especially the Fae Woods are sung to match the visions your kind had, then slowly Rotted to what they are as the ages passed.¡±


    ¡°Is this something inherited from unremembered aspects of yourself, or a thing Thendra spoke of?¡± I ask.


    ¡°Both.¡± Is her immediate reply. ¡°The words seem true from my current observations prowling the Sapana, and she has spoken to this three times in my current form¡¯s memory.¡±


    ¡°And... The Sapana? I''ve not heard you use that word before.¡±


    Those gray eyes turn to consider me. ¡°It is what my brood calls the ocean between, and everything within.¡±


    Separate from this ¡®Fae¡¯s Broken Dream¡¯ she spoke of? I¡­ wonder how. And in what ways? What would the Rifts be without the Fae¡¯s songweavings holding the Rift back besides the Blighted Ocean between?


    ¡°And¡­ the most important question.¡± Awnya sighs and leans back. ¡°Are you Hooked like Lyra is? Have a shard from Thendra tucked away inside? ¡±


    Undreka lets out a bark of laughter, which makes my Beloved flinch in such an odd way. Like she¡¯s not afraid of a strike from this Reaver. But as if the sound jerked a memory free to the surface of her thoughts?


    ¡°Yes, but also no.¡± She replies as Awnya settles. ¡°As far as I know, my thoughts and considerations are my own. But¡­ I don¡¯t assume that is the case when I die and return to the Pit. Only hope. When fishing my empty corpse to serve once again it is possible at least some of my experiences will be laid bare to her.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ve seen what I think you¡¯ve called the Pit. Twice now. Seen the others rise from it. And¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits is it weird and spooky like nothing else I¡¯ve seen.¡± My Fae shivers in worry. ¡°No idea what like¡­ is even going on there. Other than that she can bring you all back without memories. Or with slowly coming back memories?¡±


    ¡°Close enough to the truth.¡± Undreka only shrugs. ¡°Thendra has grown very proficient at growing Reavers to suit her needs. Both from the Well itself, and after. I knew from the moment Thendra focused her designs on Lyra that her breaking would be simple enough. Once she stopped ignoring what her eyes saw and thinking her anything but what she chose to become.¡±


    Awnya glances over to me at that.


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ another question we had, if we¡¯ve not exhausted your patience.¡± I offer.


    The former Reaver grins at that, seems to see right to the heart of me with her sudden focus. ¡°You wish to know what I saw that day? Living amidst the most Blighted place within the Sapana?¡±


    ¡°Course¡­ But that place isn¡¯t the ocean itself. Is on the borders. How can it be the worst?¡± Awnya leans forward, palms up. ¡°Not that I¡¯d know, can¡¯t pass through thicker Blights myself with some really solid Songwork.¡±


    ¡°The Rot roils against the Rift¡¯s warmth and songs.¡± She explains. ¡°Like how the waves of the sea can crash hardest when finding the shore. Most all life lives without or within, not betwixt. And yet¡­ there she was. As I guess she formed herself when her Fae mother taught her the songs to find her form. Wrapped in flesh molded to the shape she desired.¡±


    ¡°Not getting torn up at all, was she?¡± Awnya smirks.


    Undreka shakes her head and huffs out a growl. ¡°No. Which led myself and even Thendra to think her something else.¡±


    Not... Not unwoven to base Flame and will? Exactly as my Beloved believes she was?


    ¡°Like what?¡± I press. ¡°Thendra said something to Lyra. Something I¡¯d like to either disprove, or prepare for. That there were more dangerous things than Fae or Godlings that could threaten us all.¡±


    She shrugs. ¡°I guess such things exist. But have not encountered them in this incarnation''s memory. Lyra¡¯s Blight Weaving is powerful, and she is one of the few who claims that ability. But she is not the first within to do so. And such abilities twist opposite to the Fae''s Broken Dream."


    "Can you and Thendra''s Reavers survive the Blight? Weave it?" My Fae adjusts to lean an elbow on crossed knees and hand on a palm.


    "Weave? No more than a large creature in the desert shifts the sands. But... survive?" Undreka thinks on that for a good few moments then speaks carefully. "For a time. Not unchanged long though. None can. Not even Lyra. I cannot swim through it like she can. Not without losing myself like any other creature stepping from the Rifts without protections."


    "What about Thendra?"


    "I... doubt it." She answers, but is openly unsure. "But even if she could, will prefer old pathways and more commonly know methods to avoid attention."


    "Why''s that? Lyra seems to think she could crack even Dreadweave''s cold rock form. Or at least help her do it."


    "Because Thendra doesn''t seek violence as an end, but a means. And such abilities might incline older enemies to move counter to their predicted pathways."


    "And those ends? Do you know what they could be? Or understand why seeing a clutch of Thendra''s young drove you to such anger?" I murmur gently.


    She shakes her head in obvious disgust. "No. Another hundred soul''s consumed may dredge up some understanding, or leave me even more confused and furious. And Lyra spoke wisdom before. To seek something beyond Thendra, I must find a path devoid of her... lessons."


    "Honestly?" Awnya grins and rises to stand. "Good call. Best we can do is find the happiness we''ve gathered up and deal with the cunt as needed."


    "Agreed." I echo and stand as well. "Thank you, Undreka. We''ll share this with Lyra when she has a spare moment. Otherwise... continue your healing in this peaceful manner and we''ll love to enable you more freedoms. Listen to our duenna and those sent to help you. They... may be younger than you by many years. But are devoted. Treat them with the respect expected."


    "Of course, Matron Tretion." She nods. "I''m no Oath Breaker. There isn''t enough of me after Lyra''s final strikes to survive the cost of such actions."

 Chapter 145: Overture to The Duet of Flame and Song

    <u>CW:</u>


    Talk of relationship struggles. Almost smutt time. AND a cutie asking another for all the consent for said smutt things. mhm! 2 Lyra POVS, then a Tretion one, Theeeeeeeeeeeeen Lyra again to finish!!!


    No Jellyfish, save the two most snoozie and stubborn and the clutch sleeping in the depths of the mebe parts with my fuzzy Fae spirit and Furthonois. Shard wrapped tight in a tendril, but...


    No Beloveds either. Even though they really wanted to be here. Help out like they did with Wren and Raska but...


    I need to do this alone.


    Or... well, I mean... I need Raska. Because she''s important to this too. Both to try and help them not hate her but also because I need someone''s soul to hold onto to keep steady. And so we found a nice room and had a key delivered to them and um... just kinda wait. Food already here and soft and good smells.


    The sound of the door unlocking and opening is... kinda the loudest thing in the Dream. Sets my heart to racing and my skin to get probably really cold. Especially as they both kinda... hesitate. Right in the doorway.


    Zephin, tall and fuzzy and pretty and wearing a really glimmery blue dress that matches her purple chitin while her Amwella buzzes in a sort of... surprised meep. Two of her four arms gripping one of the other girl''s tighter than before. Three sets of red eyes locking on... on me.


    My Amwella.


    Sevy, always and still shorter than me and holding the taller bug lover''s wrist. Blue skin more vibrant than ever and wrapped in a red outfit that matches her short hair. Pointed ears twitching a bit as her deep turquoise eyes lock on mine.


    First at the sight of my body. More wrapped up than I was with Wren but... plenty of scars still show.


    Then... then at my soul. As their eyes sparkle with gentle Amwella sight.


    Two lovers lost to me.


    Souls bubbling with... well. Fear kinda like mine. Different though. Not opposite or like... afraid I''m gonna hurt them but...


    "Hi." I''m able to just barely force my tongue to get out. Really quiet still, but everyone is so still that my little word carries to them. "Um... Tha- thanks. And... and s- So- sorr-"


    "No no no. No." Sevy shakes her head and opposite hand, taking a step forward. Eyes already moistening. Next words a mess of broken feelings and ideas. "You... Lyra you don''t... You shouldn''t... I''m... I''m..."


    Words catch in her throat, and from the way her Amwella wriggles like some invisible hand is poking and squeezing I... I can literally see the guilt and shame and longing and love and... and so much.


    All the things. Most bad and painful and strangling.


    Carefully let go of Raska''s hand. Move to step around the table and stop in front of them both. Offer my hand.


    "It o- oke." I whisper, not even trying to stop the tears that dribble from my eyes. "None y- your f- fault."


    She takes my heand but shakes her head again begins to speak. Softer than before but getting louder. "Shoulda tried harder. Shouted louder. Thrown... thrown things. Books or shoes or... Or just... ran up and bit her. even if she burned me too I... It would have... have been better than... than you just... Or us all just..."


    "No." I whisper. Loud enough to cut her off. "None your f- fault."


    "Yeah... Sevy girl I really wasn''t-" Raska starts to offer.


    "You shut up!" She snaps. As loud as anything in the Dream but so much angrier. Voice shrill and eyes fighting to not glare past me at my Everflame. "Just... just shut up!"


    Feel Raska nod, even take a step back. Not out of my tendril''s tight nuzzle though. Room''s too small for that. And from her Amwella''s bubbling pain... she''s nothing but okay with our old lover being so mad at her.


    Then Sevy looks back to me, takes a the deepest breath in the Dream, then forces out. "I''m so sorry, Lyra."


    Smile at her, repeat gently, even more together than I expected to be able to talk. Somehow just... so easily still comfy around this wonderful girl. "It oke. None y- your fault."


    Her expression cracks at that and I can literally see the bubbling of more words and eternity of words she''s ready to snap and growl to deny my words.


    But... as her pretty eyes start to leak I ask gently. "H- hug?"


    And this old lover of mine practically falls into my arms. Causing us to kinda tumble to the floor as years of anger and pain and... and regrets come spilling out of her in a wash of tears.


    Zephin kneels down beside us, and before she can even begin to stumble into how to ask I reach out to hold her hands too.


    Wrap them both in an endless amount of soul tails and pull them close.


    Sit there for a few eternities and just... hold girls I thought lost to me forever come apart and together again in my arms. Feel them ache to try and make things right. Somehow.


    **    **    **


    ¡°So¡­ Kiss for your thoughts?¡± Awnya asks, jerking me from the muddle I got lost within.


    ¡°Huh?¡± I reply, looking up from where I sit beside the big weird door Glyph thing Tretion will open soon to have me weave Blight into softer shapes.


    Normal. Simple. And easy ways to make sure my home keeps growing and keeps helping everyone they''ve adopted.


    ¡°You¡¯ve been sitting pretty quiet for a few hours, and I¡¯ve not even heard your growling melodies for at least a day.¡± She explains while moving to sit next to me. ¡°And¡­ You¡¯ve not let go of that shard. Started fiddling with it. Just¡­ wanted to poke ya a bit. See if you wanted a bit of harmony to bounce your songs off of?¡±


    Look down and away as I let a tendril wrap about her soul. Enjoy how easily our little Jellyfish paddle and wiggle happily between us when I do that.


    ¡°Mebe.¡± I mumble.


    ¡°Sure, no rush. Take all the time in the Dream.¡± My patient Fae agrees. ¡°I¡¯ll save that specific kiss special for when you find the words you want to gift me.¡±


    Can¡¯t help but grin at that, look up and over while whispering. ¡°Thanks. J¨C just¡­ A¨C all the Th¨C things.¡±


    ¡°Yup. Can see that. Mostly¡­ good things? Or bad things? Or an even melody of the two?¡±


    Think back to mine and Raska¡¯s meeting with Sevy and Zephrin. How there was¡­ Lots of crying. And apologizing. Then¡­ Some yelling. Lots of them not liking¡­ any of this. Like Wren how was but with less ability to accept even the little problems we got her to not press at. Not just my new soul but how I still have scars I¡¯m not healing and¡­ and Mostly¡­ how they hated the idea of me being close to Raska again. How they¡¯d stopped wanting to be near her once they arrived in my Beloveds¡¯ Manor.


    Never forgave her for hurting me.


    But¡­ They still want to see me again. Which makes me feel both kinda happy but also scared. Because they want to JUST see me. No Raska. Mebe no Beloveds. I¡­ I¡¯m not sure. They seemed to feel messily about Wren too. I probably should have asked my Beloveds to be there. Help me find the right words but¡­ from their souls bubbling fury I¡¯m not sure anything could have soothed them well.


    ¡°M¨C mostly¡­¡± I reply and lean into her shoulder. ¡°T¨C talk w¨C with Raska¡¯s g¨C girls was¡­ Hard.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, Raska said the same.¡± She agrees. ¡°Sounded all sorts of needed. But... well... lots of cleaning out of old wounds only just starting to see the underside of it.¡±


    ¡°Th¨C they¡­ We¡­ Um¡­ N¨C not sure. Yes. Messy.¡±


    ¡°And¡­ How are you feeling about Raska? Our Everflame still burning steady and soft?¡±The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.


    More than ever. Like¡­ Sevy and Zephrins¡¯ words hurt but in ways I can tell she¡¯s not just used to but¡­ accepts. But she easily sees how bothered I was and am and¡­ is being nothing but wonderful. Patient. Despite how much I¡¯d¡­ I¡¯d really like to do more than snuggle with my warm Everflame.


    Can¡¯t help but blush and feel even messier at that. Reply all too quickly. ¡°Yes.¡±


    That makes my Beloved chuckle and twist to wrap an arm around me. ¡°Proud of you, girl. Seriously. Was worried you got pushed too fast into being near her again. Still worry bout that. But¡­¡±


    ¡°Careful.¡± I whisper as she trails off.


    ¡°Exactly. She is, and you are, and we¡¯re here to keep an eye on things.¡±


    ¡°Mebe. Just¡­¡± I sigh and fibble fingers and shard within. ¡°Feel¡­ wrong. L¨C like¡­ Always assumed they h¨C hated me. F¨C for being Fae. But now¡­ different. Th¨C they hate Raska. A lot. Are h¨C hurting to see m¨C me with her. Trying to g- get me t- to not. F¨C feel messy. N¨C not sure wh¨C what to do.¡±


    ¡°I get that. Time will probably help things along.¡± Awnya agrees. ¡°And¡­ I think you should stick with the girl you wanna be with. Who¡¯s done a lot to keep you and us safe. Not asked for anything or expected you to like¡­ give her yourself for it all. She¡¯s not just sorry for how things ended, ya know? She¡¯s sorry for how everything went from the start. Adored the good stuff but¡­ also is paying attention to the bad. Not saying those other girls shouldn¡¯t be upset. But¡­ sometimes things don¡¯t work out. And you shouldn''t let yourself get torn in two trying to force a soul to forgive another.¡±


    That¡­ helps. A little. Settles a bit of the ache at seeing and feeling and hearing old lover¡¯s look at me like they did.


    Then I feel our Watcher approach, move to kneel beside and behind us with a big pot in her arms. Asks softly. ¡°Am I interrupting?¡±


    Let another tendril twist back to find her soul and nuzzle it just as much as our Awnya¡¯s. Turn to give her a little smile and shake of my head. ¡°No. Am ready.¡±


    ¡°Are you certain? There really is no rush here.¡± Tretion assures me.


    ¡°Yes.¡± I promise and move to sit up properly, lean over to claim my promised kiss, then wiggle a bit away from Awnya and Tretion before she can react properly and tug me into more than just that.


    Ready to do the easiest thing in the Dream.


    Weave a little Blight into more than a little water or dirt or¡­. One of the weird things Tretion has had me figure out a melody for. Important for like¡­ the forests and groves and stuff, apparently. The little bits that make the bigger bits grow well!


    Tretion speaks to the Manor and lets our big, less than sleepy, home know we¡¯re ready.


    He opens the weird circle doorway on the floor in front of me, and lets in some of my beloved sea. Can¡¯t help but giggle as all our biggest Jellyfish yip and coo at that. Even the sleepiest of the clutch is super excited to wake up and dart into the mucky sphere as I weave the song. Pulling them and the blob into my soul for a big hug and snug before turning to plop it down into the pot sitting between us and Tretion. Blight rewoven to something soft and smelly and apparently really important.


    ¡°N¨C next?¡± I prompt.


    And¡­ we do this about a dozen more times. Open the door, let in some tasty blight, I sing it into softer stuff while our Jellyfish play in the mess, then drop it into a box or pot or jar.


    Easy, easy.


    **    **    **


    ¡°I really think it will like¡­ work.¡± Wren insists while I flip through the pages of the tone she¡¯s handed me before explaining such a¡­ fascinating project. ¡°Cost less Amwella than anything else if Lyra helps.¡±


    The little ones drawn to my soul this morning upon my rousing nuzzle close. Sleeping happily while I tended to my projects.


    ¡°It very well could, and even if it costs more she can weave more Blight to replace her flame. Or the physical substance if she finds the song for it during the work. But¡­ this seems more thought out than a simple few weeks of labor.¡± I prompt, looking up at her.


    ¡°I¡¯ve a perfect memory about certain things. And this¡­ I made sure to keep. Was just a matter of writing it all down for you.¡±


    ¡°It truly is a marvel, research of this kind is valuable beyond mere boons or thanks, Lady Wren.¡± I murmur and look up to her. ¡°And¡­ may I ask why you¡¯ve simply gifted me this?¡±


    ¡°Lots of reasons, Matron Tretion.¡± She replies from the seat across the table from me. ¡°You¡¯ve given us a safe home, and don¡¯t like¡­ demand we serve you or pay for that. Just live well and let others do the same. But you do understand how easily you could basically demand anything from anyone here. Lots of people give you presents, of course, but everything is just¡­ grown from the home you wove.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ yes.¡± I smile and glance down as I feel my headstalks twist a bit in old pains and a little embarrassment. ¡°My motives were not entirely altruistic, but we¡¯ve let them grow to mimic that in outcome. Home, safety, and everything we could supply so those most denied those could live well. Without demand for anything to avoid¡­ old temptations and lessons. A complete turn from what I was taught to be.¡±


    ¡°I want to help with that.¡± Lady Wren insists immediately. ¡°And this is how I can do that. That book contains the¡­ the bones of my creation. How the cruel soul who wove mine did it. I know how hard Fleshcrafting can be. But I¡¯ve been helping girls and boys and everyone between and beyond shift to shapes they need.¡±


    ¡°Really? Are you still doing so?¡± I look up to ask.


    She nods her head. ¡°Only for a few. Matron Awnya¡¯s songcraft is¡­ less demanding than what I do. I um¡­ have to become pretty intimate with a person to understand their body and soul to understand how to help them change. And big things take a long time and can be really uncomfortable to even people who wanna be close to me like that.¡±


    ¡°Aaaah¡­ Yes. This makes sense. My Beloved¡¯s songwork can shift without needing to even touch.¡±


    ¡°Exactly. But for little ones without a body to shift, they¡¯ll not just need a base form. They¡¯ll need to learn how to move from soul to flesh. Just sort of... riding in a body like some bug on a shoulder isn¡¯t enough. And could get some of them hurt if things go really bad.¡±


    ¡°And there is the Radiance of the Dream to consider. The tuning of Souls to avoid Rotting away. Which¡­ I think they¡¯ve already done. But wish to make sure.¡±


    ¡°The Radiance? I¡­ huh. I think I might actually know what you''re talking about. But not by that name. I feel a balance Inside, like your heartbeats or breathing. That book will talk a lot about the weight of all soulstuff needing to be perfect, and if it''s not¡­ that it dies and is useless. ¡±


    ¡°This is¡­ Fascinating. Enthralling. And incredibly exciting.¡± I grin and lean forward. ¡°And¡­ you¡¯ll help us through this? Despite the¡­ Well, I¡¯ll be direct now to avoid hurting you through carelessness now if you¡¯ll agree to it?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re very sweet." Wren replies and seems to lighten even we gently touch on this topic, "But yes. Despite the fact this can and will bring up old traumatizing memories for me. The soul who made me was cruel. As were the Fae who later found me after I ate them. They kept me as¡­ as a pet. Till I got away and found my Raska. But I want to do like you have with this wonderful home. Build something better. Help children avoid the pain I endured. And¡­ and maybe even older souls that could use a second chance at a better life.¡±


    That¡­ makes me pause. Ask softly. ¡°Oh?¡±


    ¡°More spirits are going to rise from Lyra¡¯s mantle right? They¡¯re trapped. And even if they get torn apart they¡¯ll just¡­ fall back into the shadows inside her soul. I think we should try and get them out. Both for Lyra¡¯s sake but also theirs.¡±


    Look back down to the tome she¡¯s gifted me. Let a few long heartbeats pass before speaking again.


    ¡°And you wish to help with that too? Lady Wren?¡± I murmur after a while. ¡°Furthonois and her Fuzzy Fae may be... tame. But every other spirit has tried to hurt our Beloved. It will be grim work. Fishing vicious souls from their eternal torment?¡±


    ¡°I know. But¡­ No one else can do it. And Lyra deserves a choice. Like the Everflames sometimes get. This might also turn into a chance for me to help my Raska shed some of her sparks, should they wish to part. Maybe even¡­ even find a way to help them find a form less harmful than the flame they burn as. I don¡¯t know. But I¡¯d like to try. None of the Cinderkin seem to really understand how bad things are for the Sparks.¡±


    I nod, ¡°Then I will adore your aid in this, Lady Wren. After our last¡­ exertion outside, I¡¯d like to ensure our Beloved is more stable and able to not overworry as much about the weight of the mantle she claimed when we step into the wider Rifts.¡±


    **    **    **


    I wait until she¡¯s totally not ready, and then I pounce.


    Knock this Everflame from the comfortable sitting she was doing to the grassy floor in less than a heartbeat. Get to enjoy all those warm spirits inside her Amwella jerk in surprise and confusion that quickly twists into delight and¡­


    ¡°Wait.¡± I whisper while straddling her.


    She does, all the mebe plans she was letting bubble through her core jolting to a stop. Some of her five bubbling Sparks want to ignore me and just¡­ pounce on me right back.


    But Raska is between them and her flesh, basically freezing everything to a worried stop.


    ¡°Is th¨C this oke?¡± I ask. ¡°All oke? All spirits good w¨C with th¨C this? Us d¨C doing this?¡±


    That makes her pause. All of her bubbling with¡­ something. Worry and realization and¡­ messier things.


    Made sure my Beloved¡¯s coaxed every single one of our Jellyfish away and into their souls. Since they might start singing and it¡¯s still so easy to see how soft songs still make Raska flinch sometimes. Refuse to do that to her today. Also asked both Furthonois and the fuzzy Fae if they¡­ they¡¯d mind nuzzling deep into the mebe places? Like¡­ I know this will all echo through my soul like how someone could hear us from another room.


    But they both have been nudging me to do this forever and agreed easily. Even... even helped me pick a place and time.


    But after all five seem to growl at her in pretty hungry and hornii ways¡­ causing her to huff and smirk. ¡°Yeah. Pretty clearly. I¡­ Thanks for asking.¡±


    ¡°L¨C let know if not, and n¨C need to stop. Oke?¡± I reply. ¡°No b¨C bad f¨C feelings if need.¡±


    That¡­ makes her sputter out again. In more messy ways. ¡°Did¡­ yeah. Course girl. Means all the Dead Cinders that you¡¯re making sure every part of us is¡­ is comfortable if I did this with you.¡±


    I nod and wiggle to nuzzle closer. Even feel confident to boop her nose with mine before burying my face into the warm flesh of her neck. Then whisper. ¡°Awnya t¨C taught w¨C words. G¨C good questions. Im¨C important but¡­ n¨C never learned before. W¨C want to always give t¨C to l¨C lovers now. Always.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ Dreamer¡¯s Tits.¡± Raska curses with a laugh while slowly moving arms up to wrap about me. The Fae words sounding messy but¡­ very cute on her lips. ¡°Thank you, Lyra. So much.¡±


    ¡°Welcome.¡± I murmur, squeeze her again, then pull back to hover over her. Find her pretty spark eyes bubbling with tears she can never shed.


    So I lean down and kiss the skin around them. Like I do when my Beloveds cry. Then, as she giggles, drift down and find her soft lips. Press them to mine.


    Taste her embers and warmth and that¡­ wonderful tint of iron she always had. Feel her Amwella buzz and pulse as a low growl bubbles through her chest. All five of those flames just¡­ so impatient. Right at the start.


    Like¡­ Raska is and was too. Could barely stop herself from pouncing on me when I last kissed her like this. Pinned me to a wall or bed or¡­ or even the floor. Lost entire evenings to our hungers.


    But we also never held back before, and these past weeks have been nothing but holding back. Always so close but impossibly far away from either of us doing more than snuggling.


    Then I do the little trick Awnya does to me sometimes, and I to her, where we slow down and gently trace our tongue over our lover''s lips. And THAT makes Raska kinda¡­ buck a bit. Moves hands to grip my hips like she means to roll us and get on top of me but¡­ hesitates.


    Can¡¯t help but giggle and press more into her. Reward my Everflame¡¯s patience with a wiggle of my hips and chest harder into her than before. Aggressively but still very gently nibbling on her lips while I consider the spell Furthonois has helped me prepare for this.


    A songless working to¡­ to let my tendrils touch more than just this lover¡¯s Amwella.