《Kaleidoscope End》


 Prologue

    Summer Vacation was coming to a close.


    Lately the finality of this fact seemed to be seeping into the very gear works of this quaint town I live in. Those halcyon days of endless azure skies with tufts of cloud wafting on the faint summer breeze had given way to the harsh oranges and reds of an eternal twilight.


    I wake up to the setting sun, ¡°Hello old friend, thank you for all your hard work this Summer¡± and fall asleep to the burgeoning twilight, ¡°Good night old friend, don¡¯t tire yourself out too much.¡± No matter the time of day it seemed like the sun was always on the verge of setting.


    Regardless of theatrics Summer was coming to an end.


    One could say Summer has its most significance to the youth of today, they anticipate its approach and mourn its passing more than anyone else. If that¡¯s the case the I suppose you could argue that Summer Vacation is a monumental event in every student¡¯s life.


    A marker of sorts.


    An etching on the sundial of life, ever ticking towards adulthood.


    I let my gaze shift from from the rose tinted glass scenery before me to the boy sitting across the aisle from me. He got on a while back and was probably taking this bus to the transit center, at least that was my hypothesis.


    I imposed my previous ruminations upon him as he sat in silence, listening to a pair of earbuds.


    Did he realize the momentous transition we were in the process of? To a young student the turning of the seasons was far more significant than a shift in weather.


    Was he counting down the time he had left to enjoy this period in his life? Perhaps he was already in the eleventh hour of his childhood¡¯s end.


    Perhaps I was the only one on this bus who occupied their time on these trivialities.


    A person¡¯s life can be broken down into sections, I suppose it¡¯s something akin to artistic movements. In hindsight we can see the destinations of the trends that flowed around those who lived during those times, but do you think someone would walk into an art gallery and think, ¡°Boy am I sure glad I live in this neoclassical era?¡±


    Hardly, I¡¯m sure.


    These eras of modernity, these movements of art culture.


    I¡¯m sure they¡¯re were so neatly labeled and classified using the hindsight of those who lived after their conclusion. Meddlesome interlopers who needed to organize things into neat straight lines, to mark the change in trends like a stoplight changes from green to red.


    In the same sense most people don¡¯t have the foresight to clearly and succinctly section their lives into their own ¡°movements¡± until that era of their life has come to a close.


    That boy probably doesn¡¯t wake up and look in the mirror and think, ¡°I¡¯m glad my long haired, torn hoodie, and fancy crimson ear buds phase is still going strong!¡±


    Well, I suppose that¡¯s how it should be though.


    As expected I can only shift my cognitive resources in this direction because I myself have exited the tumultuous phase of one¡¯s life known as youth.


    In media, generally the end of one¡¯s youth is often synonymous with graduation. The story in bulk focuses on the character¡¯s development in their formative years, and concludes with a heartfelt graduation ceremony.


    Life after high school doesn¡¯t exist for these people.


    Their experiences in that era of time determine their velocity and trajectory, then when they graduated and the TV cameras are shut off they¡¯re all hurtled into the void going their own directions.


    At least, that¡¯s the impression those sitcoms always gave me.


    Graduation is the punctuation to one¡¯s youth.


    You go up in your fancy gown, accept your diploma, and with gracious fanfare that phase of your life is pushed aside for your new era of adulthood.


    Like switching from one slide to the next.


    At least, that¡¯s how I think it is for other people.


    Looking back and comparing my youth to the stepford youth the masses are supposed to have I can say that without a doubt mine came and went with the violence of a microburst.


    It blew and tore at me, scraped away the things I loved, scraped away the things I¡¯d thought were precious to me. Well, I suppose the majority of that was my fault, not the results of some unseen roll of the metaphysical dice.


    If my youth was a Summer storm then I was a prideful hawk, riding the turbulent winds in search of the violence of change.Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.


    Ha ha ha, indeed I was quite the rascal in that time period.


    If I had to give a name to the era from that time, hmm it¡¯s a little tricky but I¡¯d have to call it the modern era.


    The only thing I concerned myself with was the present, the people directly in front of me, and the things I felt were important to me at the time. For better or worse I pigheadedly charged forward just like that.


    It cost me many things, friends and family, my career as a student.


    Man oh man, it¡¯s embarrassing to think back on!


    And yet, in spite of it all I can¡¯t help but be proud of the younger me that charged ahead desperately grasping at the things in front of her with nary a thought towards the future.


    I guess if I were to be put back in the shoes of my younger self, I¡¯d do everything the same way.


    Even if my foolhardy actions only lead me to misfortune, there are some things that I don¡¯t think I ever would have gained without them.


    Yes, without a doubt that section of my life is best called my modern movement, perhaps ¡°A Movement in Modernity¡± if I wanted to try and dress up the facts.


    It¡¯s been a year or three since I entered this post modern era of my life. To be honest thinking back I¡¯ve spent most of my time drifting through life.


    I had no house, no job, no place in school, all I did was wander from place to place. That raging storm had finally quelled and it was like all I could do was lay back and let these new calm winds carry me off into the clouds.


    I was aimless, if I was on one of those sitcoms and they fired me off into that void I¡¯m sure the only thing that would happen is I¡¯d fall flat down on my face.


    It was by chance that I blew into this small sleepy town on the waterfront. I¡¯m sure I would¡¯ve simply continued this destinationless journey if I hadn¡¯t met that man.


    He was the very picture shady, the kind of man who¡¯d get fingered in a line up even though he was out of town on the night of the robbery.


    I¡¯ll admit, my first impressions of him was much the same.


    He followed me several blocks calling ¡°Scuse me little lady, mind if I steal a few moments¡± over and over until I turned around and punched him square in the face.


    Ahhh, if this were the younger me I would¡¯ve at least broken his nose. Maybe cracked a few ribs while I was at it, in for a penny in for a pound y¡¯know?


    Instead the only thing I broke was his fancy gold rimmed sunglasses. I deformed the frame and shattered the polarized glass, the only thing they were good for now was taking up space in a trash can.


    Truly in my post modern life I¡¯ve become an angel of mercy and toleration!


    I had knocked him flat on on the ground where he laid sprawled out like some kind of comic relief character from a kid¡¯s cartoon, knocked the cigarette he¡¯d had in his mouth clear across the street, and just when I was about to continue on he sprang back up like one of those blow up clown toys that no matter how much you punch them they won¡¯t fall over.


    It was honestly a little terrifying.


    ¡°My oh me, you sure are energetic for a young lady, but dontcha think this was a bit excessive missy?¡± Was all he said, a crimson trickle seeping its way down his nose.


    ¡°If you ask me, anyone who wears sunglasses at night is courting disaster.¡± was my reply, this strange older man in a fancy vest and slacks had accosted me out of the blue. At the time I was planning on either pushing him into the path of the next car I could find or bolting.


    Ahh the sweet and gentle postmodern me! Instead of smashing his face into the closest window or wrapping the straps of my side bag around his neck and throttling him until his eyes rolled back in his head I was simply looking for a means of escape!


    Truly a new leaf has been turned over.


    ¡°Disaster¡¯s a funny name for a lady but I suppose I can¡¯t be picky.¡± He said throwing me a wink that I swiftly dodged as if it were a flying ball of shit.


    ¡°Now be a dear and get something to stop the bleeding for me?¡± He had a wide stupid grin on his face as he reached into his pin striped vest and pulled out a pair of the exact same sunglasses to put on.


    ¡°Sure I¡¯ll grab a rope and we can tourniquet you at the neck, that should help.¡± I muttered back slipping my bag off my shoulder.


    ¡°Whoa whoa there, I still got some stuff I gotta do, let¡¯s reschedule the treatment to next Tuesday.¡± He held up both his hands in defeat and backed up a little that stupid grin still on his face.


    ¡°Oy, all you have in life is five days worth of things to do? What kind of worthless bum are you!?¡± I blurted out before I could stop myself.


    Indeed, it was a flaw of mine. The current post-modern me would¡¯ve simply left that rambling creeper right then and there, but the past post-modern had gotten caught up in his pace by then.


    Wait¡­ does this make the current me post post modern? Well, perhaps I was still transitioning away from modernity, yes that must have been it.


    ¡°Hey it was a rough estimate, what if in those five days I find more things I need to do? Then I¡¯ll just have to live that much longer to get those done!¡±


    I shot him a dirty look.


    ¡°Besides, if we¡¯re talking about worthless bums, how many days worth of things do you have to keep you alive?¡±


    I could feel his eyes burning a hole in me. I couldn¡¯t bring myself to respond to that.


    ¡°Is that also why you gave yourself the name Disaster? I must say self depreciation isn¡¯t attractive in young ladies.¡±


    ¡°Fuck you.¡±


    ¡°There now see? If you keep things up as they are the Reaper¡¯ll be knocking at your door in no time.¡±


    ¡°Fine if that¡¯s how it is, I¡¯m not going to die until you¡¯re lying in your own coffin.¡±


    A little crude I must say, but I think it was quite well said given that I was contemplating strangling him.


    ¡°A lover¡¯s suicide huh, you know if it¡¯s that I suppose I could go along with you. We can be Ms. and Mr. Disaster.¡±


    ¡°Yeah fine, you drink the poison and I promise I¡¯ll stab myself with your dagger once you¡¯re dead.¡± Not a bad comeback I think...though Shakespeare is probably rolling in his grave.


    He stared at me bewildered for a little before another smile cracked his scruffy face and he broke out in a hardy laugh.


    ¡°I like you kid, normally I make it a habit to only pick up stray little kittens but I¡¯ll make an exception for you!¡±


    ¡°Excuse me?¡±


    ¡°What I¡¯m saying is I want to hire you. I¡¯ll even provide a small apartment for you to stay in while you¡¯re here, and to sweeten the deal I¡¯ll take care of all your meals too. What do you say?¡±


    His speech was interrupted with my fist and its happy reunion with his face. That, was how I met my new boss.


    Yes, these milquetoast years of empty wandering have finally come to a close.


    After thirteen days, three months, and twenty two years I was finally able to get a job.

 Chapter 1

    The Setting sun dyed the town in orange and red with heavy dark blue shadows juxtaposing the light as I got off the bus at my stop.


    The corner of Lily and fourth.


    A small Stream cut its way through the gutter parallel to the sidewalk. Everyday it¡¯s always like that even though it hasn¡¯t rained in quite some time.


    The water flows downhill, and slowly but surely makes its way to the sea. I¡¯ve heard the phrase ¡°all roads lead to Rome.¡± but in this case I suppose we could say all water returns to the sea.


    I can feel the flow pulling at me, even now I haven¡¯t lost my nomadic tendencies.


    At times I feel acutely aware of the wind and the water, it¡¯s like they pull at me. Like they know I¡¯m not supposed to be here.


    That they know wherever I go the idea of home is something I don¡¯t deserve.


    Well, then again that¡¯s why I love this town. The sea breeze pulls at my heart while the flowing stream tugs at my feet.


    This place is my last refuge. The final stopping point.


    After here there''s only the sea, this place lies at the very edge of no return. Whenever I look out into that great blue void where sky and sea blur into one an indescribable feeling begins to well up inside me.


    And as I stare transfixed all I can think is, ¡°Oh, once I cross that it¡¯ll be the end of me.¡±


    Yes, once I cross that azure abyss I know I¡¯ll continue to wander until my body withers away and I collapse where I stand.


    That is the end I will meet, but for now I¡¯ll let myself be held here by that man.


    Everyone has a thing they know is inevitable, and for me this just happens to be it. Like a kite that¡¯s been cut free of its string I will continue to wander this world until all my colors fade and I rot apart.


    It isn¡¯t anything to mourn or fear.


    It¡¯s a simple fact.


    Yes, this is the path I chose for myself.


    I¡¯ve fought, and bitten, and tore my way through the main course.


    This is my just desserts.


    However,


    All that lies in the future, for now I think I¡¯ll continue sampling this life of tranquility and routine like the glutton I am.


    Well,  I¡¯d love to contemplate that cerulean bulwark until the stars arrived to keep me company.


    However, sadly time marches on and I¡¯m growing ever later for my precious precious job.


    And so it was that these two legs of mine navigated me to a small bar that was sandwiched between two larger buildings of masonwork.


    I¡¯ve been coming here every day for the past three months, and yet I couldn¡¯t tell you just what the stores surrounding us sold. For all I knew they could both be two hugely successful bars slowly eating away at my place of employment until the they met in the middle like two ravenous lovers.


    When you think of it like that isn¡¯t it a bit romantic? I much prefer that kind of story to those bitter sweet love stories where the lovers are divided and must settle for things being the way they are.


    If there¡¯s a sea of stars between me and my chosen partner I don¡¯t much see the point in waiting. I¡¯d rather drown trying to cross it than wait for my allotted time to experience happiness.


    Regardless that was the kind of place I worked in.


    A small bar that went by the name ¡°The Devil¡¯s Solace.¡±


    Believe me, the very first thing I brought up with my boss was the name. In this day and age isn¡¯t The Devil supposed to be mankind¡¯s greatest antagonist? With a name like that even I would hesitate to enter.


    ¡°Hey, hey what¡¯s so wrong with that? Who¡¯s to say that he¡¯s really such a bad guy you know? A place where the devil can take off his horns, kick back, and down some booze like a normal guy. That¡¯s what I wanted the name to mean!¡±


    Is what he had proclaimed rather loudly at me on my first day here.


    ¡°So, what do you think? Doesn¡¯t it just flip your perception of it on its head?¡±


    No, no it didn¡¯t.


    Well, I suppose beggars can¡¯t be choosers.


    And so with a sigh on my lips and a weight on my shoulders I pulled open the ¡°push¡± door and headed into the dimly lit room.


    ¡°Oy oy you¡¯re 4 minutes, 45 seconds and 70 milliseconds late Mei!¡±


    Was the greeting I received.


    On one of the bar stools my boss sat glancing at me uninterestedly as he began folding today¡¯s newspaper neatly back into its square-shaped origin.


    ¡°Really? A whole seventy milliseconds huh?¡±


    I replied eyeing him up and down, from his unkempt blonde hair to his fancy sunglasses. From his pin striped gray vest to his slate black slacks. As ever he looked more a snake oil salesman than a humble bar owner.


    ¡°Exactly a whole seventy! A mayfly is born and dies within five minutes. You¡¯ve kept me waiting for nearly a lifetime. Think how many customers we¡¯ve lost in the meantime.¡±


    He swung around on the bar stool pointing at me like this was some kind of drama¡­ except he over shot it and spun around a few times before facing about thirty degrees to my right.


    ¡° I¡¯ll thank you not to say such stupid things first thing at the start of my shift.¡± I may be relying on him for a paycheck but that didn¡¯t mean I¡¯d have to play along with his nonsense.


    ¡°Besides even if you tried to make this into a case of dereliction of duty there¡¯s no way that line of reasoning would ever stand up in court.¡±


    ¡°Ha, so you¡¯ve learn to speak back huh newbie? Alright we¡¯ll have Jirard settle this!¡± He said rotating around to face an elderly gentleman who stood behind the counter calmly cleaning a mug with an air of zen serenity about him.


    The man¡¯s hair was salt and pepper with a finely kept moustache that adorned his mouth almost as if it was a matter of good manners.


    His clothes were immaculately pressed and washed, he seemed to live and breath bartending. As if he was chiseled this way from marble for the express purpose of standing in this spot for all eternity.


    I gave Jirard an apologetic look as I began slipping off my thick black overcoat.This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    ¡°He¡¯s been so bored simply sitting around here, I hope you don¡¯t mind indulging him a bit.¡± Came his response.


    Business as usual I suppose.


    ¡°Fu fu¡± Boss laughed, clearly enjoying himself. ¡°Now then young lady, let¡¯s see you prove your mettle.¡± His voice was deepened as if he was trying portray himself as some great demon lord.


    To be honest I¡¯d still rather not.


    But¡­ this man was responsible for my paycheck, and my place of residence.


    Ahh¡­ the things I do for money.


    ¡°To begin with we¡¯ll start with the most major assertion you¡¯ve levied at me. Starting with the statement: ¡®you¡¯ve kept me waiting a lifetime.¡¯ It¡¯s a blanket misleading statement that only works on the basic assertion that mayflies can be considered a customer.¡±


    ¡°O-oh¡±


    ¡°And may I remind you my dear employer that we serve human beings here. Furthermore I¡¯m more than pretty sure that having swarms of mayflies buzzing around the alcohol would be a giant health code violation.¡±


    I spoke deliberately in a deadpan tone, I¡¯ve learned by now that if you give this man and inch he¡¯ll take a mile. Whoever came up with the phrase ¡°talk softly and carry a big stick¡± was truly a sage of our time.


    With that sharp jab I¡¯d already wiped that stupid grin off his face.


    ¡°Furthermore I¡¯ll thank you not to claim I¡¯ve kept you waiting for nearly a lifetime, as others can easily misconstrue the meaning.¡±


    ¡°Heh heh heh, what¡¯s the matter Mei? Did I make your heart skip a beat?¡±


    This annoying guy¡­ for a moment I couldn¡¯t hide the disgust and annoyance on my face.


    However! As a responsible grown adult I cannot fall for such cheap provocations. Indeed long gone is my wild and violent ways, today¡¯s me is an infinite well of patience and good will.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay no need to be embarrassed Mei! This isn¡¯t the first time I¡¯ve had a young lady fall for me you know. I¡¯ll have you know that just a few months ago I-¡±


    ¡°Boss I¡¯d like to urge you not to incriminate yourself further in this situation as if you continue I will be reporting you to the police for harassment.¡±


    My words hit him like a brick wall just as he was going to launch into another of his long winded love stories leaving him with a look of disappointment on his face.


    ¡°H-hey Jirard¡­ isn¡¯t she being just a little too ruthless today¡­?¡±


    ¡°Well boss, you know she gets prickly when you carelessly act overly familiar with her like that.¡±


    Came Jirard¡¯s calm and measured response.


    ¡°You know I¡¯m standing right here still¡­ right?¡± I asked turning my gaze to Jirard as he moved on to the next mug.


    ¡°Think of this as an extension of my role as mediator in this verbal sparring match the two of you are having.¡±


    Not even a shift in his proper tone.


    How these two ever fell in with each other I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever know.


    ¡°Fine fine, and moving on to my third and final point¡±


    I said, preparing for my final blow.


    ¡°There is literally no one here. We only get a few regulars and even they usually don¡¯t come every day more like once a week. I don¡¯t even know how this place stays in business, the fact that you had the funds to hire me makes me feel like this whole place is a money laundering scheme.¡±


    Jirard gave a well-timed laugh as he brought one gloved hand to his mouth.


    As for my boss he nearly fell off his stool, feigning an arrow to his heart as he stumbled to the wall, leaning against it for support.


    ¡°Well I would say that it¡¯s game set and match Boss. Do you have any last words?¡±


    I couldn¡¯t see because of his moustache, but I swear Jirard was smiling as he watched us.


    ¡°Y-you may have gotten me today¡­ but I¡¯ll be back. Someday...somewhere when you least suspect it I¡¯ll-¡±


    Just as he was about to ramp up into his dramatic last stand Jirard cut him off with a well-mannered yet firm interjection.


    ¡°Then I would like to rule in favor of the young lady. Fellow employee Mei cannot be convicted of dereliction of duty, henceforth I believe you owe her the usual, Boss.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ yeah yeah one drink on the house.¡±


    Boss¡¯s demeanor returned to its usual overly casual nature and he pushed himself off the wall and strutted his way back his stool and flopped down in a position that can¡¯t have been comfortable as the counter jabbed into his back.


    ¡°But still¡­ what exactly makes you think this is some kind of money laundering scheme...isn¡¯t that a bit harsh even for you?¡±


    I glanced over the dimly lit room, it was full of empty tables, stools, and chairs that while immaculate definitely looked like they had been bought second hand.


    The whole bar gave the feel of a well worn dive out in the sticks that you stop by mid road trip.


    Except it was in the middle town and barely anyone ever came here.


    ¡°Again, how can you hire me when we barely get any customers as is?¡± Came my response, Jirard took great pride in the bar¡¯s upkeep. Pointing out second hand nature of the furniture felt like a personal affront towards him and¡­ I just couldn¡¯t bring myself to do that.


    He was a nice old man who loved going that extra mile in cleaning and upkeep, and I¡¯ll be damned if I could find anything wrong with that.


    ¡°Well see¡­ thing is you¡¯re supposed to be paying for yourself.¡±


    ¡°Excuse me?¡± Boss had that tone of voice that told me I was about to encounter some supreme bullshit.


    ¡°See¡­ you¡¯re reasonably attractive y¡¯know? A little rough around the edges but it makes you approachable. Plus you have that one special trait that made you essential for the Solace Team.¡±


    For a second I deluded myself into thinking he¡¯d noticed the gentle me. The young lady who¡¯s achieved a postmodern life of enlightenment and serenity.


    ¡°So uh, you have that slight build and for whatever reason prefer wearing kinda masculine clothes so¡­¡±


    I pulled out my phone.


    ¡°You have this kinda androgynous charm about you, and I figured I could use you to attract both guys AND gals and save myself the salary on an employee.¡±


    ¡°Yes, hello Police? ¡°


    ¡°Q-quick Jirard do something!¡± Boss yelled out, scrambling to sit up but in the end slipping off his stool and hitting his head on the counter with a loud bang.


    I couldn¡¯t help but stifle a laugh.


    Jirard paused a second to glance at Boss before reaching for a third mug and beginning his cleaning process all over again.


    ¡°Y¡¯all should be grateful I¡¯m such a goddamn saint or all y¡¯all would be fired by now¡± Boss sulked as he laid where he¡¯d fallen in self pity.


    ¡°As ever, we bask in your ever flowing compassion Boss.¡± Jirard responded, holding the mug up to the light and scrutinizing it.


    At this I let slip the laugh I¡¯d been stifling.


    ¡°Hey hey, what¡¯s so funny.¡± Boss grunted from where he had strewn himself under the counter.


    ¡°You¡¯re a saint now huh?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, didn¡¯t you know? I¡¯m such a nice guy I¡¯d even forgive The Devil himself!¡±


    That was a pretty ballsy proclamation if I¡¯d ever heard one. Then again Boss was strange enough to the point where I didn¡¯t exactly doubt him.


    With a dismissive wave I entered the break room of the bar and dropped off my bag and overcoat and took stock of the me that was staring back from a nearby mirror.


    A young lady with short jet black hair, gray borderlining black eyes, and pale white skin met my gaze.


    When I¡¯d wandered into this town I¡¯d had hair down to the small of my back, I was short on money and so haircuts were one of those luxuries I couldn¡¯t afford.


    When I¡¯d started here on my first day Boss had insisted I wear my hair in two pony tails, ¡°Twintails¡± as he called it, needless to say after I¡¯d suffered that indignity I¡¯d swiftly taken my paycheck and had my hair cut as short as I could stand.


    Even with this short, boyish haircut I still thought I looked feminine enough as to not be mistaken for the opposite sex.


    At least I hoped I was.


    Slipping on the black apron over my button up white blouse and black dress pants I made my way back out to the bar proper.


    Such was my daily routine.


    This illustrious job I¡¯d finally grabbed for myself was in the end nothing more than a simple job as a barmaid.


    For these past three months I¡¯d been engrossing in myself in this simple yet wonderful life, falling asleep to the dawn and waking up to the dusk.


    However


    I¡¯d still yet experienced one of the quirks of this scrappy little bar.


    It¡¯s true this place had a customer base that was practically nonexistent, for these past few months I only ever saw four or five people patron this place.


    So in the end I suppose there¡¯s no way I could¡¯ve known right off the bat.


    This place was a haven for people like me.


    These kinds of broken and twisted people sought solace in this place, whether they realized it or not.


    Boss wasn¡¯t too far from the truth when he said this was a place where ¡°the devil could remove his horns, kick back, and down some booze like a normal guy.¡±


    Whether it was the atmosphere of the place or Jirard¡¯s taciturn bartending manners, this bar has become a place a certain kind of people would gather.


    They¡¯d leave their devils at the door, and for one night return to being ¡°normal.¡±


    If there was one thing I could criticize it¡¯d be in Boss¡¯ naming conventions. This place was not a solace for The Devil, but rather a solace from The Devil.


    Although honestly it was just like him to get things so backwards.


    And so it went that as I made my way out of the employee break room an unfamiliar face caught my eye.

 Chapter 2

    A young man I¡¯d never seen before caught my eye as he sat nestled away in a corner of the bar on the far side from the entrance.


    If I were forced to describe him in words other than ¡°some guy that looks like he¡¯s in highschool¡± I suppose it would have to be the term ¡°Extra¡±


    A background actor.


    It wasn¡¯t as if he was trying to hide his identity nor was he purposely obscuring himself, those things would all be remarkable traits. No, he was sitting there at his table quietly contemplating a glass of water and yet even as I looked at him I was looking through him.


    Generic jeans, a t-shirt with some band who seemed to be gaining popularity these days with a light grey jacket draped across the back of his chair.


    From where I was standing I couldn¡¯t see his feet, however I had the sneaking suspicion that he was wearing tennis shoes of some innocuous color.


    His sandy brown hair cut short combined with his average complexion and light brown eyes to give of an overall milquetoast feel.


    It had only been several seconds since I had entered the room yet I had already gotten over what should have been the monumental shock of the first new customer in the three months I¡¯d been working here.


    Rather I could already feel myself subconsciously writing him off as if he were a part of the furniture.


    A scuffed table or mended chair that had been rescued from the corner of some musty warehouse only to be laid to rest in another woefully underpopulated room.


    I turned to Boss and Jirard.


    Jirard was ever diligently living up to the ideals of bartending, he¡¯d long since cleaned all the glasses and mugs to a level of transparency I wasn¡¯t aware normal glass could achieve and was straightening out the portrait of what looked to be a landscape shot of the Bar¡¯s grand opening.


    Jirard and Boss were the only two there, Boss was grinning ear to ear with a beer bottle in hand while Jirard looked straight at the camera with tinges of pride in his eyes.


    Come to think of it that was the first time I¡¯d seen Jirard out from behind the counter¡­


    Sometimes I forgot he had a lower body.


    As for Boss, he was sitting back on the stool he was on before reading the newspapers again, given the way he was occasionally letting out bemused chuckles I had the feeling he was reading the funnies.


    Both of them weren¡¯t even acknowledging the kid¡¯s presence.


    Walking briskly past the shadow of a teenager that sat in the corner I made my way to the counter.


    ¡°Boss¡­¡±


    I whispered.


    Another chuckle. It seems he was still caught up in the newspaper.


    I grabbed his arm roughly, digging my nails into his bicep.


    I¡¯m not the kind of girl that grows long talon-like fingernails, but I still have enough to scrape the flesh off of an attacker.


    Although I suppose at this moment I¡¯m just causing mild discomfort.


    ¡°Boss!¡± I whispered a little louder.


    He finally reacted, instinctually bringing his other hand to his arm.


    ¡°Ah! What?¡± He hissed at me. ¡°Why are we whispering?¡±


    ¡°Who¡¯s that customer over there?¡± I hissed back, pointing my finger back in the direction of the high school kid from before.


    ¡°Hm? What customer?¡± He asked, letting his voice return to normal pitch. ¡°I don¡¯t see one¡­ are you feeling okay?¡±


    Feeling frustrated at his slow upkeep I turned to where I was pointing.


    No one was there.


    In fact I was forty degrees off from the corner where the kid was still sitting quietly in his corner.


    ¡°That one!¡± I whispered ever louder adjusting my angle of accusation until my index finger was pointing directly at the kid¡¯s heart.


    ¡°What on-OH¡± he said, it sounded like he¡¯d forgotten all about the new customer in the time between the kid coming in and me coming out from the employee break room.


    ¡°He¡¯s still here huh?¡± Boss said, tilting his head toward Jirard, who¡¯d started a second time on the glasses and mugs.


    ¡°It appears so Boss, I don¡¯t recall bringing him any glasses of water aside from the one so it seems he¡¯s just been sitting there all this time. I don¡¯t even think he¡¯s taken a drink.¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­ jeez we can¡¯t let him get away with this it¡¯s bad for business.¡± Boss grumbled, going back to his newspaper.


    ¡°What business?¡± I hissed detaching myself from his arm and leaving small indents in the fabric where my fingernails had dug into his dress shirt.


    ¡°Well if we just let him hang around here like it¡¯s some kind of alleyway eventually all the kids will be using this place as their own personal locker room and I¡¯ll be damned if I¡¯ll let that happen. One of you two needs to go over to him and let him know that he either needs to buy some booze or go home.¡±


    ¡®One of you two huh¡¯


    Everyone in this room knew which one of us was going to have to do that.


    ¡°Boss¡­. Do we even know if he¡¯s old enough to legally drink?¡±


    ¡°Iunno make an educated guess.¡±


    ¡°Make a guess!?¡± I grumbled barely suppressing the urge to string him up by his lapels.


    ¡°He is not old enough.¡± Jirard chimed in.


    ¡°There, see? He¡¯s not old enough just.. Go work something out alright.¡±


    Boss lazily waved me off as he went back to his paper.


    It was then, in that very moment...as I turned to face that mysterious bland presence that had invaded my happy little work environment that a distressing realization hit me.


    Sure I worked here as a barmaid but¡­ I¡¯ve never served a customer in my life!


    Three months...and the only people who came here were Jirard¡¯s regulars. He usually fielded them at the bar while I just idly swept or took out the trash.


    He¡¯d always make some perfect remark as they entered the bar like, ¡°Why Frank I was expecting you about now! Last time you were here I remember you saying your kid¡¯s band concert was coming up. I hope you didn¡¯t miss this one.¡± While giving him one of those sly grins from beneath his moustache.


    It was like he knew his patrons inside and out, and knew exactly what to say to get them to unravel and just start blathering on about their day.


    Is that what I¡¯m supposed to do?


    I don¡¯t even know this kid!


    When I¡¯d first started working here Boss had said something about curtsying and making a heart with my hands but I¡¯d rather be fired than be forced into that humiliation for some thankless little shit.


    Well regardless time was ticking and I¡¯d been given a job. Don¡¯t say I never did anything for you Boss.


    I briskly crossed the bar floor in what could only be described as walkathon speed and for better or worse I was standing at his table.


    Alright first things first you¡¯re at work Mei, be friendly and be professional.


    ¡°Um, excuse me sir?¡± I said contorting my face into what I hoped was friendly and professional smile.


    Nothing.


    The brat wasn¡¯t listening to earbuds, hell he wasn¡¯t even reading a book. There was literally no excuse why he didn¡¯t hear me.


    ¡°Sir? Dear Customer?¡±


    Nothing. He just sat there staring off into space at his cup of water.


    Well¡­ this wasn¡¯t how I pictured this going. Panicking a little on the inside I turned to Boss seeking guidance.


    Just like before he was engrossed in his paper¡­.wait. No he was keeping an eye on me with his peripherals! It was hard to see because of his ritzy sunglasses. I could, however,  see the message he was sending me clear as day:


    ¡°I have trained you for this very day, you¡¯re on your own kid.¡±


    Fuck you too Boss.


    Abandoning the proprietor of this joint I set my sights on the person who actually ran it.


    Jirard¡¯s eyes met mine and he mimed a gesture at me.


    Taking a deep breath I followed his advice and lightly put my hand on the boy¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Excuse me Sir, are you alright?¡±


    The kid jumped, spilling a little bit of his water on the table. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jirard nod reassuringly at me.This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it


    ¡°Wh-what?¡±


    His voice was soft and hoarse like he wasn¡¯t used to speaking.


    ¡°Are you alright Sir?¡± I repeated myself.


    ¡°Oh, Y-yeah I¡¯m fine.¡± Even after I¡¯d taken my hand off his shoulder he still seemed visibly uncomfortable with my presence. Almost like he¡¯d been engrossed in some kind of TV drama and I¡¯d walked in front of the screen right when it was getting good.


    I glanced at Jirard for help.


    He motioned for me to keep it up and forge my way forward.


    I swear this bar would¡¯ve burned to the ground by now without this guy.


    ¡°You realize this is a bar? We don¡¯t really serve minors and I¡¯m afraid that you must be a patron if you¡¯re going to be spending an extended amount of time here.¡±


    Out of the corner of my eye I caught Jirard sneak me a thumbs up.


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry for being a burden. I missed my bus and it¡¯s going to be another hour till the next one comes.¡±


    As a fellow intercity transit rider myself I mentally checked his response. Next bus should be the last one headed back to the transit center before heading off to the bus barn for a good night¡¯s rest.


    ¡°Are you sure there isn¡¯t anywhere else you can wait? It hasn¡¯t gotten that chilly outside just yet.¡±


    Not to mention this place didn¡¯t have air conditioning so he was out of luck if he was hoping for some place cool. In fact I¡¯m pretty sure that¡¯s why we¡¯re only open at night.


    ¡°Ah, it¡¯s just getting dark and I wanted to be somewhere safe and properly lit.¡±


    I sighed, I almost wish he¡¯d been a troublesome customer so I would¡¯ve been justified in throwing him out on his ass. Well in the end I guess this is better.


    ¡°So that¡¯ what he says Boss, I¡¯m leaving the decision in your hands.¡± I¡¯d summarized the bite sized bits of conversation the kid had managed, now it was up to how Boss was feeling at this moment.


    Folding the newspaper in half Boss leaned back on his stool and looked our mysterious guest up and down.


    ¡°You really missed your bus huh?¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡±


    ¡°You ever taken a look at your surroundings kid? This place¡¯s probably the seediest part of this entire town. Don¡¯t see why you¡¯d feel safer here.¡±


    Jirard gave a small indignant cough.


    Poor guy.


    ¡°I¡¯m just...not comfortable waiting outside alone.¡±


    Boss listened, closed his eyes and nodded to himself.


    ¡°Alright kiddo listen to me.¡±


    Here it was, the moment of truth.


    ¡°I normally don¡¯t let anything freeload off me except cats, but I can work out a deal. Finish off that glass of water, order another one, and I¡¯ll think of you as a paying customer for tonight.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± The kid seemed a touch taken aback.


    Well I couldn¡¯t blame him, Boss was as capricious as the strays he¡¯s always feeding near the train station. He was an annoyingly nosey guy who looked sketchier than a fifth ace in a deck of cards.


    But even so, there were parts of him that weren¡¯t so bad.


    ¡°Sure, you keep up your end of the bargain and I¡¯ll keep up mine. Just don¡¯t let it happen again alright?¡±


    The kid gave a small nod before returning to his table and downing the entire glass in one gulp. If there had been any ice left at all I think he probably would¡¯ve swallowed them whole along with it.


    By the time I had turned to Jirard he had another glass of ice water waiting for me.


    ¡°Try not to let all the ice melt this time.¡± I said attempting some form of small talk.


    ¡°S-sorry.¡± The kid said, eyeing the spilled water on the table before sipping at his new glass.


    Jirard snuck me another thumbs up while boss was suppressing a laugh, most likely at my expense.


    Returning to the bar I elbowed Boss in the ribs.


    ¡°Calling this place the seediest spot in town huh? If you¡¯re not careful you¡¯ll make Jirard mad.¡±


    Boss gave a noncommittal shrug.


    ¡°Hey when we opened this place I wanted to spring for all new furniture and lighting. Really spruce this place up and bring it into the modern era y¡¯know?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, so what happened?¡±


    ¡°Jirard happened.¡± Boss sighed ¡°Told me none of the new stuff had any soul to it. Next day I came here to find he¡¯d bought all this with his own money.¡± Boss said making a sweeping gesture at all the furniture in the room.


    ¡°Really?¡± Jirard never seemed like that much of an assertive guy. I guess everyone has something they¡¯re not willing to budge on.


    Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jirard nodding resolutely.


    ¡°I mean this place is something we decided on together.¡± Boss continued. ¡°I figured it didn¡¯t really matter to me so why not?¡±


    And so with a few last chuckles from Boss the night went on. The kid took his leave about an hour after arriving and the rest of the night was quiet.


    ¡°I wonder what that was all about?¡± I asked absentmindedly as I wrapped up my shift. Speaking of weird things¡­


    ¡°Hey Jirard how¡¯d you know how old he was?¡±


    ¡°Ha! Good ol Jirard has his ways, there¡¯s nothing you can keep from that crafty old man.¡± Boss called back from the employee break room.


    ¡°Indeed. If by ¡®ways¡¯ you mean I asked him for his ID then yes, I do have my ¡®ways¡±


    ¡°Huh.¡±


    I¡¯d never considered something so mundane. I guess I still had a lot to learn from that paragon of barkeepers.


    ¡°Did you catch a name?¡± I continued, making my way to the entrance and stopping.


    ¡°Tiran Ulrich. Goes to a high school a few blocks down the road.¡±


    ¡°I see.¡±


    And just like that my day petered out to an end. Nothing more out of the ordinary, I made my way back home and went to bed.


    And then under a new setting sun my next shift began.


    I entered The Devil¡¯s Solace to the sound of Boss talking in an out of character annoyed tone.


    ¡°Kid, I thought I told you last night was a one time thing.¡±


    Kid? I¡¯d walked past Tiran when I¡¯d come in without even realizing it.


    ¡°I missed my bus.¡±


    Came his soft reply.


    ¡°Again? Come on you can¡¯t take advantage of my goodwill then come back for more like this. Look you¡¯re not allowed to be here alright?¡±


    ¡°What if I was a paying customer?¡± Came Tiran¡¯s small measured response.


    ¡°Hah?¡± Boss almost spat out the unlit cigarette he had in his mouth. ¡°Look kid I¡¯m not selling you any alcohol. Come back when you¡¯re older alright?¡±


    ¡°Excuse me bartender?¡± Tiran called out as he crossed the room until he came to where Jirard was standing.


    ¡°Yes? How may I help you?¡± As expected of Jirard even during these moments he was still as cool as ever.


    ¡°I¡¯d like to order one orange juice please?¡±


    ¡°Oh ho.¡± Jirard gave a good natured smile as he addressed Tiran. ¡°Would you mind listening to my suggestion?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not leaving.¡± The kid didn¡¯t even ask what it was, jeez.


    ¡°No no, if you¡¯re a customer then I¡¯m willing to serve.¡± This came to an immediate ¡°Hey!¡± from Boss.


    ¡°See, while it is true we keep orange juice on hand we usually use it as an ingredient for a certain drink. As such the price for just the orange juice is a little expensive.¡±


    Boss replied with a ¡°Of course! What do you think this place is, a juice bar?¡± He was sulking on his favorite stool with today¡¯s paper already in hand.


    He and I both knew there was no budging Jirard when he decided these things.


    ¡°It might be a little easier on your budget if you would order a glass of milk. We keep it around for when someone orders coffee but it tends to go sour before we can use it all.¡±


    ¡°Oh? Sure then I¡¯ll go with that thank you!¡± Came Tiran¡¯s response, a relieved expression settling on his face.


    Jirard nodded in affirmation before heading to the refrigerator to the side of the bar.


    And so this night passed much like the previous.


    Tiran got his glass of milk and sat nestled in the corner of the bar taking occasional sips and staring into space.


    He didn¡¯t seem like a bad kid, just a little¡­ out there.


    He left around the same time he did the previous night and once again my shift ended without any more surprises.


    This went on for a few more nights, he¡¯d arrive earlier and earlier each time until finally he apparently even beat Boss in.


    When I arrived on the fifth night since our new customer had decided to make this place his regular bar I was greeted to boss hunched over reading his paper and sulking.


    Even Jirard seemed a little bit troubled by the frequency of visits from our new guest. Like a man who lived in an apartment where pets weren¡¯t allowed wondering what he was going to do with the stray cat that¡¯d just followed him home.


    I sighed again as I dropped my stuff off in the employee break room.


    Enough was enough.


    I couldn¡¯t stand to see Boss like this for five days straight. Even more so if the kid was troubling Jirard.


    Walking out into the main room I made my way to Tiran¡¯s table. He was in one of his long staring contests with the wall when I reached him.


    With that I raised my hand high in the air and slammed it down on the table. Boss¡¯ head shot up from where he had been hunched over and Jirard eyed me nervously.


    And Tiran, well he practically fell out of his seat with fright.


    ¡°I-is there something wrong?¡± He asked, still shaken from being startled out of his daze.


    ¡°Alright kid, you and I are going to have a talk.¡± I said firmly, sitting myself across the table to where he was forced to make eye contact with me.


    ¡°W-what do you want?¡± He asked trying to read my intentions as I stared him down.


    ¡°Tiran, why are you here?¡±


    ¡°Excuse me?¡±


    ¡°You missed the bus six times in these past six days.¡± I refused to budge to his shy docile mannerisms.


    ¡°W-well I just get so busy that I get caught up in what I¡¯m doing and miss it. It¡¯s just an accident.¡±


    ¡°Kid you¡¯re spitting on the scientific method there.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± came his bewildered response.


    ¡°The first two times are a coincidence the third and beyond are an absolute. The sun sets and Tiran misses his bus. Not only that but you¡¯ve been coming here earlier and earlier. I know for a fact you didn¡¯t miss any bus today.¡±


    Instead of responding he cast his eyes down as if he were looking for something to pull himself out of this situation.


    ¡°Tell me, why do you come here?¡±


    ¡°I-I like it here. No one notices this place, no one comes in here. I can just sit in this place and disappear from the world.¡±


    As much as I was trying to come down hard on this kid that last part made the back of my neck prickle.


    ¡°That¡¯s no excuse, if you want to not be out in the world then just go home.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t!¡± He was beginning to get frustrated with me to the point where he was raising his voice.


    ¡°My parents worry about me. They think I¡¯m strange they constantly check on me, I can¡¯t be there. I just want to be somewhere where I can think.¡±


    I refused to give him any sort of emotion to latch onto in my voice. This was for his own good.


    ¡°Your parents are probably worried about you. Just talk to them about whatever is going on in that head of yours.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t, they don¡¯t listen.¡±


    ¡°Have you tried?¡±


    ¡°No, but I know! I know exactly what they¡¯ll say. Exactly what¡¯ll happen.¡±


    ¡°Kid¡­ you don¡¯t know until you try. People are complex things, they aren¡¯t that easily predicted.¡±


    ¡°No, just listen¡­¡±


    He said, frustration clearly showing on his face. The tension had begun to hang low in the air, like a damp cloth pressing down on the small of my back.


    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you this, because I can¡¯t afford to lose this place. I¡¯ll tell you this, because I think out of everyone in this town you three are the only ones I can see believing me.¡±


    I wanted to interrupt him, to cut in and tell him to drop the bullshit. But he was shaking. His whole body was wracked with shaking and when I met his eyes all I could see was naked fear.


    The kind of fear someone has when they know they¡¯ve done something seriously wrong. When they know they will be judged for what they¡¯ve done. The kind of fear you get when you¡¯re confessing that crime to someone you desperately don¡¯t want to lose.


    Even if those feelings weren¡¯t directed at me in particular. Without a doubt they were directed at this little patch of solace he¡¯d finally found.


    And so I leaned back and waited.


    The seconds passed like hours.


    Tiran tried to take a sip of his milk but he was shaking so much it just ended up spilling everywhere and in the end he had to give up on it.


    All of our eyes were on him, Boss¡¯, Jirard¡¯s, and mine as we quietly waited for him to find the courage to say something.


    And then after what felt like hours he took a shaky deep breath, looked me straight in the eyes and said it.


    ¡°You may not believe me, in fact I wouldn¡¯t blame you if you didn¡¯t¡­ But¡­ but I¡¯ll say it anyways.¡±


    He took another deep breath, his body steadying and his eyes locking with mine.


    ¡°I can see into the future.¡±

 Chapter 3

    Precognition.


    If I were to think of a cheap cartoon depicting characters with varying degrees of superpowers what are the common ones that might appear?


    Super strength is a given, the utterly basic and uncreative augmentation of natural bodily performance is the barest of the superpower genre bones. Elemental alignment and control as well as ESP and other extra mental abilities might appear too I suppose.


    Then, the question becomes, why not precognition? Why not the ability to see into the future?


    In a sense it is because the power itself is too fantastical. Usually when one thinks of the ability to part the veil of time and peer into the unknown at will one thinks of a more high fantasy genre. A story where a chosen hero journeys to an ancient Sage for guidance.


    Even then it¡¯s not the hero himself who has that ability but the often times cryptic guide character who does.


    Simply put if any of the main characters in a story have precognition then the writer himself becomes that much more limited.


    Or rather in writing that ability into the story the writer runs the risk of proactively writing plot holes into whatever story arcs they have planned.


    Whenever the main characters lose or misfortune falls upon them the question then becomes, ¡°Why didn¡¯t the precog see this coming?¡± After all if one of them could see the future then they should be able to mitigate the majority of problems set in their path.


    In a sense it has the power to end stories before they even begin.


    And this kid who was sitting across a table covered in spilled milk was claiming to have access to such an overbearing overpowered ability.


    Jirard who had been ever so diligently wiping down a mug stood transfixed where he was. His hands which usually seemed like autonomous cleaning devices were frozen mid action.


    Boss¡¯ newspaper had lost all of its tension and was flopping over on itself and his unlit cigarette was doing a fantastic balancing act on his open mouth.


    Both of them had completely frozen, their attention glued to the boy sitting across from me.


    I¡¯ll admit even I had been taken aback.


    I¡¯d heard of some people being able to do weird stuff in my time but this was the first time I¡¯d heard anyone straight up claim to be able to see the future.


    For a second I forgot the hardened demeanor I¡¯d resolved myself to wear and let my tensed body relax.


    All three of us waited for Tiran to say something, anything.


    However he didn¡¯t, whether it was due to nerves or simply because he wanted it to completely sink in he maintained his silence, and just like that an oppressive weight was placed on each of us.


    The room that had so been full of tension was now hushed into stillness. If it weren¡¯t for the occasional car driving along the main road nearby I¡¯d swear I had stumbled my way into a photograph.


    However.


    As strange as this turn of events was it wasn¡¯t nearly enough to facilitate a turnabout. Whether this kid could see into the future or not was none of my concern.


    Even if it was something that wasn¡¯t conventionally true, if it was something he believed with all his heart then it didn¡¯t matter whether I believed him or not.


    Or rather, if that was how things were going to turn out there was no use questioning it either.


    So at that moment I decided to follow the presupposition that this high school boy before me was indeed a precognitive.


    That sudden realization however, did nothing to solve his original case. He was still troubling Boss and Jirard.


    Therefore, it was still my duty to see to his departure.


    ¡°Kid, I don¡¯t care if you CAN see the future. This place is no place for minors. Sure it¡¯s a nice quiet space but that is hardly a rare commodity in a town like this.¡±


    Or rather, your presence is disrupting my happy quiet space, my solace.


    ¡°Or rather, you still haven¡¯t answered my question.¡± I pressed.


    ¡°Ah, I¡¯m sorry¡­ could you tell me the question again¡­?¡± Came his response, as meek as ever.


    Although given his possible access to visions of the future I couldn¡¯t help but suspect this might be a calculated response.


    I¡¯m the kind of person who when presented with staunch resistance will stubbornly grit my teeth and hold my ground. If there¡¯s a wall between me and my goals I would much rather punch a hole straight through it than go around. If there is a sea between me and my destination I would rather swim across than take a detour even if I drown in the process.


    ¡°You are the kind of person that thrives in adversity.¡± Is what She used to say.


    However,


    Conversely that means the kinds of things I have the most trouble dealing with are those things that are firmly within the category of weak.


    A person who gives way at the slightest touch, a person who lacks the conviction to stand opposed to me, and a boy who meekly accepts any force exerted upon him.


    If I were to describe the sensation I get from those types of people it¡¯d be the feeling when you¡¯re walking down a staircase you¡¯ve climbed and descended many times, however in carelessness born of familiarity you overstep and skip the last step without meaning to.


    That sort of feeling as your entire body weight is forced forward and your foot effortlessly passes through what should have been solid ground.


    That sickening feeling was etching itself into my gut as I confronted this kid.


    As I gritted my teeth and stared him down I couldn¡¯t help but wonder if this weak front he was putting up was nothing more than a facade.


    ¡°Why are you here? This isn¡¯t some two bit scifi show where there¡¯s some terrible event that¡¯s going to raze a chunk of this town to the ground and its point of origin is here.¡±


    Well¡­ I suppose I didn¡¯t exactly mind that kind of premise.


    ¡°Give me your reason why you absolutely HAVE to be here.¡±


    It seems like he was finally understanding what I was saying, though whether he was ready to tell me everything or not was up to him.


    ¡°Alright, but before that would you mind if I clarified something?¡± Came his quiet response.


    This was exactly the kind of thing that set me on edge. Neither a clear denial nor assent, instead of immediately responding to my question he decided to clarify and further refine the question.


    Rather than meet me head on he instead decided to change the direction we were going, like a matador to a bull.


    If we were to borrow the line of thinking from earlier, to the likes of me an existence such as this boy¡¯s is too weak. The weakest of the weak.


    And yet, rather than passively giving in or curling up into a ball to protect himself he uses that weakness to try and move things in a manner he finds more favorable.


    In that same sense I would call him my natural enemy.


    Realizing he was waiting for me I spoke up again. ¡°I¡¯m listening.¡±


    Short and to the point, the less words he could twist back on me the better.


    ¡°I suppose we should start¡­ Ms¡­¡± He stopped and took a glance at the nametag on my apron ¡°Mei. What exactly do you think of time?¡±


    ¡°Time?¡±


    ¡°Yes¡­ how do you suppose it functions?¡±


    ¡°Mmm¡­¡± If I had to completely be honest my only experience with time was those cheesy dramas where a girl lives a squalid boring life but then slips through time back to the start of her youth to try and do things properly this time.


    Though I suppose those kinds of stories can have their merits too.


    ¡°I guess¡­ Like a film strip. It goes from the starting advertisements to the ending credits.¡±


    ¡°I see, so what do you think my ability to see the future does using that metaphor.¡±


    ¡°Well obviously it lets you skip all the boring melodrama and get straight to the big climax where the main character realizes his love for the heroine and throws himself in front of her car to keep her from marrying someone else.¡±


    ¡°Oy what are you some kind of hopeless romantic? I¡¯m not drunk enough for this.¡± I heard Boss mumble behind me. ¡°Jirard get me some booze.¡±


    ¡°After hours, Boss.¡± This was met with a ¡°tch¡± from Boss and then quiet descended back upon us.


    ¡°I-I see¡­ how specific.¡±


    Oy kid you¡¯re lucky I¡¯m at work right now.


    ¡°But what if there was a version of the movie where he never met her to begin with? Let¡¯s say he met someone else instead?¡±


    ¡°Oh like if his lover died and he¡¯d call into a radio show to find a new wife and a reporter hears him and falls in love?¡±Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°I-I guess?¡±


    ¡°Or like if he¡¯s business rivals with a lady that he unknowingly chats with using an online chat program and so they end up falling in love and having to reconcile their rivalry?¡±


    ¡°I-I think we¡¯re getting a little off track here.¡± The kid said his face flushing a little. ¡°The point I¡¯m making is time isn¡¯t just one straight line, there are spots where it branches off creating parallels.¡±


    ¡°Parallel dimensions?¡±


    ¡°More like parallel world lines.¡±


    ¡°Like timelines?¡±


    ¡°I really really can¡¯t take this sober Jirard, please have some mercy.¡± Boss whined


    ¡°You¡¯ll take it like a gentleman or you¡¯ll do something about it.¡±


    This was accompanied by the creaking of the floor as boss came and leaned heavily on the back of my chair.


    ¡°Alright kid you¡¯re giving the adults here a headache and this one is too dense to absorb any of that theoretical stuff you¡¯re throwing at her. How bout you skip to the point?¡± As he said ¡°this one¡± he put his hand on my head and mussed my hair about a bit. The hell did he think I was, a dog?


    ¡°Hey I can get the gist of it!¡± I replied, shaking off his hand and glaring back up at him.


    ¡°It¡¯d be like if that famous actress from all those old romantic comedies was actually playing the same person each time, just each movie was its own world.¡±


    ¡°Oy¡­ what kind of cinematic multiverse are you starting?¡±


    ¡°S-she isn¡¯t too far off though¡­¡± The kid said looking at me a little strangely.


    ¡°Ha! See Boss? I can understand something like timelines easy.¡±


    ¡°World lines.¡±


    ¡°Whatever.¡±


    Ah! Boss had distracted me from the truly important matter at hand.


    ¡°Getting this stupid brat out of here.¡± I muttered accidentally saying my feelings out loud.


    ¡°Uh¡­ huh?¡± It seems like once again I¡¯d left the kid at loss for words.


    ¡°None of that matters. Just finish what you were saying before.¡± I stealthily re-hid my uncovered malice.


    ¡°W-well¡­ if we call each of those alternate outcomes a possibility then my future sight allows me to see every possibility at once¡­ though there¡¯s a cutoff of about ten years or so.¡±


    ¡°A cutoff?¡± Boss jumped in, he was apparently taking Jirard¡¯s words to heart.


    ¡°Yes, I can only see a set distance ahead in time...and rather than viewing them all at once like watching a movie I could say it¡¯s more like looking through a kaleidoscope.¡±


    Yes, a kaleidoscope and not a telescope.


    Out of all the stupid things Tiran and I said that day that one was the most important. If all of these infinite and branching world lines flowing side by side were to be likened to a great tree then rather than cutting it lengthwise to craft lumber he was cutting it widthwise to observe the myriad rings.


    He was like a helmsman, steering his way through this sea of life with nothing but a kaleidoscope as his navigational tool.


    It was less a matter of poor vision and more one of active obstruction.


    But well,


    At the time I still hadn¡¯t realized that yet.


    Just as we were about to dive back into this rather troublesome case that¡¯d dropped itself off on our doorstep Jirard gave a light cough.


    ¡°I believe the boy will be late for the last bus if we keep him any longer.¡± He said matter of factly.


    An hour had passed faster than I¡¯d thought! Maybe I¡¯d just been so used to the tension these past few days that I¡¯d forgotten how fast time usually passed in this place.


    ¡°Would it¡­ be alright if I came again?¡± Tiran said as he gathered his things and made his way to the entrance.


    ¡°Well, we¡¯ll at least hear you out. After that I¡¯m not going to promise a thing.¡± Boss said giving a sigh and returning to his stool and newspaper.


    ¡°Now go on, get out.¡±


    It was a good ten minutes after the boy left before any of us said anything.


    ¡°What do you think Boss?¡± I asked, tentatively breaking the silence. ¡°I¡¯m not sure about that looking into the future stuff, but I get the feeling there¡¯s something off about that kid¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh? Is that your instincts or your theoretical physics telling you that?¡± Boss said turning to me, one of his old grins plastered across his face.


    As much as he pisses me off I¡¯d rather have this Boss than the one who mopes around every day.


    ¡°I¡¯m being serious, it¡¯s just the feeling I got talking to him¡­¡±


    ¡°And what good will it do knowing that?¡± his sharp tone caught me off guard. ¡°Everyone has problems Mei, this isn¡¯t one of your romcoms where everything can be solved and brushed aside like dust.¡±


    Seeing my silence Boss stopped himself a bit and gave half hearted sigh before smiling at me.


    ¡°Look Mei, you¡¯re as straightforward as they get. I know that, but not everyone thinks the way you do. Let¡¯s say this kid spills his guts to you, what will you do?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­¡±


    ¡°Will you solve it for him? Then what? What if he runs into another problem? Will you just take responsibility for him for your whole life?¡±


    I don¡¯t think he knew it at the time, but those words really struck home for me. Like the cold peal of a bell cutting through the cold morning air.


    ¡®Take responsibility for the rest of my whole life¡¯ huh?


    For a second I could feel my stomach drop and my heart slowing down under its own weight. Only for a moment though, this was my place of solace after all. What good is solace if I spend it walking on eggshells?


    So once more I swallowed those feelings and pushed those restless thoughts to the back of my mind.


    He appeared to be waiting for me to reply.


    ¡°I don¡¯t get what you¡¯re saying¡­¡±


    To be honest I was a little distracted, so this was the best I could muster.


    ¡°Jeez don¡¯t look at me like that, I¡¯m not some bad guy alright?¡± He said, still shadier than an email from a friend telling you about this new dietary supplement.


    ¡°I just want you to think a little before you get any more involved. You¡¯re dealing with someone at their most vulnerable, whatever you say or do under the banner of helping them will have a profound effect on them, and you¡¯ll need to ready to take responsibility for that.¡±


    I let his words sink in, it wasn¡¯t because I necessarily agreed with him but rather because I recognized the weight of them.


    It might be true to some extent, but if I didn¡¯t take any action and they didn¡¯t either then in the end what would happen?


    Nothing.


    Hey Boss, is it really okay to let things go on like this?


    Did you hear the words he said, ¡°I can just disappear from the world.¡± Is it really alright to just ignore that kind of sentiment?


    Hey Boss, is it really alright to ignore such an obvious cry for help for your own self preservation?


    Those were all thoughts that were floating through my head, and like fall leaves on a fast flowing river they were gone before I could give voice to them.


    Though the feelings remained, I hid those embarrassing insecurities away before they could force their way out my throat.


    Boss wouldn¡¯t listen to me, in fact he¡¯d made his position clear with that last warning. He was refusing to get involved.


    If that was going to be the case then what about Jirard?


    No, if it was Jirard he would do it more out of moral obligation than out of any sense of true caring. That kind of paternal attitude of his must have caused him to bear similar burdens like this in the past. In his twilight years that man deserved a bit of peace and quiet.


    Besides, what kind of waitress would I be if I left all of the customers up to him?


    Those were the feelings that gently floated down my river of thought as I idly swept the bar while Boss watched me.


    Our previous conversation had just kind of ended where he¡¯d left it.


    I wasn¡¯t exactly in the mood to respond and so he just let it go. He seemed to have a bit of suspicion as to whether I was taking his words to heart but¡­


    It wasn¡¯t like he was the kind of guy to force others.


    If Jirard was the kind of parent who gently chides a child and stops them before they make a mistake, then boss is the kind who would watch their kid touch a hot stove and while treating the burn laugh and say ¡°serves you right.¡±


    What I¡¯m saying is I suppose it¡¯s for the best that Boss is single.


    Finally I heard Boss let another of his sighs before speaking to me again.


    ¡°So, I never expected you for the chick flick kinda girl. Pretty surprising if you ask me, what do you think Jirard?¡±


    Jirard wisely kept quiet and continued supervising my efforts at cleaning.


    ¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean Boss? You got a problem with it?¡± I replied, sounding a bit like one of those cheap thug characters in those old school dramas.


    ¡°Not really, but I mean¡­ isn¡¯t that hobby a little too girly for you? I mean most of the other things you do are kinda mannish¡­ just look at your hair.¡±


    Who¡¯s fault is that Boss?


    ¡°Please, I never understood why they¡¯re called chick flicks anyway. A lot of them have male protagonists, and at the very least they set up romantic relations better than most action movies.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s exactly why!¡± Boss said, reclining on his stool. ¡°Who knew you were so preoccupied with romance? You¡¯re more of a maiden than I thought. Didn¡¯t you know the philosophy of modern movies is giant action set pieces and CGI over complex human relations and romance?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re more of a meathead than I gave you credit for Boss.¡± I muttered back, glaring daggers at his neck.


    ¡°Hey hey, I never said those were the kinds of movies I watched.¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah? Then why can¡¯t I picture you watching anything that doesn¡¯t have explosions or scantily clad women?¡±


    ¡°Oy, cats are important too y¡¯know!¡±


    ¡°Boss you aren¡¯t exactly denying what I said¡­ also what do you mean cats are important too? It¡¯s not like they make movies centered around them, they¡¯re usually just more or less a part of the set.¡±


    ¡°Ha ha ha! That¡¯s where you¡¯re wrong my dear Mei, not only have they starred in animated movies but they also have entire platform all to themselves!¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I was willing to concede that there were animated movies starring cats, but a whole platform devoted to them?


    ¡°Yes, not only have videos of them dominated the internet for years now but on some sites certain cats have a whole page dedicated to them bringing them the coveted title of celebrity.¡±


    ¡°Oy, I¡¯m not talking about that silly shit. Those don¡¯t even count as movies.¡±


    ¡°Hmph¡± Boss pouted, spinning on his stool, ¡°You¡¯re only saying that because they lack the plot, understanding of shot composition, use of symbolism, and technical skill involved to be considered high art.¡±


    Uh Boss, didn¡¯t you just practically take your own argument out behind the bar and shoot it?


    ¡°But I¡¯ll have you know back in ancient Egypt mankind worshipped cats, so rather if we look at these videos as an extension of that line of thinking aren¡¯t they more an important cultural art?¡±


    ¡°No, I¡¯d say they¡¯re just random videos the owner posts because people like animals. Rather you still haven¡¯t defended yourself in regards to your taste in movies.¡±


    If I followed that ridiculous point I¡¯d just end up falling down a pitfall of Boss¡¯ design. Rather than adapting to his twisted logic it¡¯s better to return to more solid ground and drag him with me.


    ¡°Fine fine, if I had to describe the kinds of movies I like it¡¯d have to be¡­ the kind where the grisled stranger comes to a town where a problem is happening. Then after solving it he either passes away or leaves the grateful people behind as he continues on his personal journey.¡±


    ¡°You mean like those Westerns? I guess they¡¯re alright.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s more than just westerns! There are tons of samurai movies like that too! They depict the manly spirit and solitude of the warrior.¡±


    Boss, aren¡¯t you even more of a romantic than me?


    ¡°Furthermore they never have those phoned in happy endings we see nowadays. If you ask me rather than tying everything up with a nice bow these events feel more like one small part in that person¡¯s life. Life is full of loose ends and happy endings that never came to be.¡±


    ¡°If you ask me they were just trying to set up for a sequel¡± I muttered back at him, watching his face light up with indignation.


    ¡°Do you know how much it cost to make a movie back then!?¡± Boss shouted, going off into another one of his tirades.


    Truth be told I was rather fond of a lot of those movies, though I wasn¡¯t going to let him know.


    And so with that awkward air between us gone I went about the rest of my shift with a frown on my face and a smile in my heart.


    As loud and annoying as he may be I still preferred this Boss to the troubled and sulking one i¡¯d seen for the past few days. Even Jirard seemed put at ease by our usual bickering.


    I didn¡¯t have the knowledge to help Jirard with bartending nor the finances to support the place like Boss does so this was the very least I could do.


    If you ask me, this was the kind of place The Devil¡¯s Solace should be, and this was probably the kind of environment those two envisioned.


    Even if I was just some mediocre employee who was always late if I could help make this atmosphere come to be then maybe I was worth something after all.


    At least that¡¯s what I thought.


    And so, even as I planned to disregard Boss¡¯ warning, I quietly thanked him for giving me a place to rest. A place to feel like it was better to stay than move on.


    In all honesty it meant more than anything to me, though I¡¯d never tell him that myself.

 Chapter 4

    The sun was setting into twilight as I made my back into the Devil¡¯s Solace to start my shift for the day.


    Without a doubt I knew Tiran would be there, at the very least some of the mysteries behind that kid should be cleared up today.


    Why he was so intent on becoming a fixture of this small seedy bar.


    Just what he appeared to be hiding from, or rather what he was desperately fleeing.


    Since yesterday when I¡¯d resolved myself to try and at the very least do something for him those thoughts had been swirling about in my head. If I could be permitted to state the obvious, those two things would more than likely be the greatest obstacles for me.


    And yet.


    And yet try as I might I just couldn¡¯t fathom what could be troubling this kid. A wise man once said that a fight is won before it¡¯s started, in the same sense I tend to prefer to at least mentally prepare myself for what¡¯s to come.


    However, this time it looked like all I could do was enter into this blind.


    Just the thought of it got my heart beating faster with anticipation.


    A kind of heightened state of senses, I couldn¡¯t help but feel acutely sensitive to things like the loud noise of the bus as it started up after dropping me off.


    At times in the past this mentality has served me quite well, yet as of now I probably looked more neurotic than prepared for a fight.


    Well, I hadn¡¯t exactly slept all that well last night either¡­


    The muted, dim light that filled the bar was a welcome relief from the harsh reds and oranges that had shone down on me outside.


    For the first time in three months I was grateful for the dim lighting and earthy color of the wood, in honesty it was almost relaxing.


    Tiran was there sitting in his corner sipping a glass of water, compared to the last time I¡¯d seen him at the very least he seemed better.


    This time I guess I was the one who was a mess.


    ¡°Oy Mei, you feelin okay?¡±


    Boss asked from his usual stool glancing sideways at me.


    Did I really look that terrible? When I¡¯d checked the mirror before I left I didn¡¯t think anything showed too much. Then again Boss was strangely perceptive about some things.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine, why?¡± I asked cautiously.


    ¡°You¡¯re on time for once. You¡¯re usually about five minutes late to the point where I could set my watch to it!¡±


    Relief and indignation at the panic I¡¯d felt due to his stupid joke came flooding in all at once.


    ¡°Fine, how about next time I¡¯ll be ten minutes late to make up for it?¡± I muttered back at him.


    ¡°Hey hey, that¡¯s now it works, if anything shouldn¡¯t you just walk out and wait five minutes before coming back?¡±


    ¡°You make it sound like it¡¯s some kind of rule that I¡¯m always late Boss.¡±


    ¡°What was it you said about the Scientific Method? The sun sets and Mei is late for work?¡± He had one of his cocky smirks on his face, the kind where you look at him and think he¡¯d look better with a fist upside his jaw.


    ¡°What¡¯s with you Boss, did something good happen to you today or something?¡±


    ¡°Ha ha ha, what kind of final Boss doesn¡¯t level as the player gets stronger?¡± Boss leaned back and gave an exaggerated laugh at me.


    Well, at least he was in a good mood.


    ¡°Most from my understanding. Or rather if the final boss leveled with you wouldn¡¯t that set a terrible precedent as far as player leveling?¡±


    ¡°Oy oy when did you learn about video games, I didn¡¯t take you for much of a gamer.¡± Boss said looking at me with one of his faces that signaled the start of a giant tangent.


    ¡°I¡¯m not, or rather I can¡¯t afford them.¡±


    ¡°Geez, what kind of tyrant isn¡¯t paying you enough to afford the luxuries in life?¡± Boss gave a mock sigh and threw his hands to his side in distress.


    That¡¯d be you.


    Well I suppose it¡¯s more I have other priorities.


    Ignoring Boss as he started off on one of his ramblings about how things were back when he started working I made my way to the employee break room.


    Thanks to Boss¡¯ distraction my nerves that had been tensed and bunched into one giant knot had finally relaxed.


    I couldn¡¯t feel the beat of my heart in my chest, and I didn¡¯t feel like I was about to break into a cold sweat anymore.


    That was one good thing at least.


    The main event was still starting soon, and I couldn¡¯t afford to let my guard down. Since I was flat out of ideas, I¡¯d have to think on the fly.


    Taking a deep breath to psych myself up I put on my black apron and made my way back into the main bar.


    ¡°Alright kid, let¡¯s pick up where we left off.¡± I said, placing myself across the table from him once more.


    This time I didn¡¯t have to do anything to get his attention, Tiran had been quietly waiting for me, it seems like both of us had been anticipating this.


    Out of the corner of my eye I could see Boss put his newspaper down and swivel in his stool to face us while Jirard quietly put down the mug he was cleaning and turned his eyes this way.


    ¡°We left off last time, where I said that I could see all possibilities ten years from now, correct?¡± Tiran said meeting my eyes for the first time since we¡¯d met.


    ¡°Yeah yeah, let¡¯s get on with it.¡± Boss chimed in from behind me.


    Thanks Boss, you¡¯re great listener.


    ¡°Well, to begin with if I could correct that statement, it¡¯s not every possibility but more the most likely ones.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure if there¡¯s a meaningful difference there.¡± I replied. ¡°Regardless of what you see you still are looking into the future right?¡±


    ¡°Well yes, but there is a big difference. At any time a meteor could get pulled off course and kill one of us. Or rather out of all the world lines I can see it seems I can only see the ones that are born from ones that possess a percentage of occurring above a certain margin.¡±


    Did that really matter?


    It seemed like kind of an odd thing to append, though I suppose it assures him of a certain amount of validity.


    ¡°So stuff like getting struck by lightning under an otherwise clear blue sky isn¡¯t factored in I suppose?¡±


    ¡°Uh Miss Mei¡­ rather than unlikely I think that¡¯s impossible.¡± this was met by ¡°ha you tell her!¡± from Boss.


    I muttered under my breath, I thought he was here to listen to the kid not make fun of me.


    ¡°So, what¡¯s this got to do with us? You¡¯ve been dancing around all the issues till now. Spill it.¡± I said letting my annoyance at Boss show a little.


    ¡°Well¡­ I just wanted to explain it a little better, so you¡¯d understand things easier. See...¡±


    While he rambled on about certain small details and discrepancies I took the time to scrutinize Tiran.


    I¡¯d barely paid him any mind before, I¡¯d let him sink into the background like he¡¯d wanted. If I was going to do anything I should start by dissecting the existence known as Tiran.


    To start with, it was a little hard to tell from his clothes but his physique seemed about average. He was lean but it didn¡¯t seem like he was starving himself at all.


    That being said I also doubt he had much muscle definition either.


    Also, despite the recent stretch of sunny days his skin seemed neither burned nor tan. Both of those facts led me to the conclusion that he wasn¡¯t all too physically active.


    From memory, the past seven days he¡¯d entered the bar he¡¯d done so wearing his hoodie. I wear my overcoat while I commute to work because when my shift ends the nights have usually developed a chill and during the majority of my commute to the bar I was in a bus that usually blasted air conditioning.


    The chilly ocean breeze at night and frigid air conditioning on the bus made those few minutes baking in the sun worth it.


    However, Tiran was different.


    If we assume he left his house in the morning before the day heated up, and stayed in a space that was air conditioned during the day.


    Common sense would say to remove one¡¯s jacket when it came time to walk outside in the heat, even if he didn¡¯t have his backpack with him he could tie it around his waist.


    Yet he¡¯d walked through the evening sun to this bar with it on, that act alone left me with the impression that he¡¯d kept it on throughout the day regardless of heat.


    So if I could combine what I gathered I¡¯d paint him as such.


    A young boy who wasn¡¯t involved in sports or more than likely any after school activity.


    A young boy who wears a hoodie in summer, regardless of heat.


    A young boy who whiles away his Summer somewhere, who stays out till the last bus home.


    Those were the three truths I could discern from thinking about his current appearance and his past behaviors.


    Small but obvious traits.


    It¡¯s not like I was some great detective. There was no way I could hope to simply glance him up and down and pull the problem he¡¯s having out of my ass.


    But there was one thing my mind jumped to given his actions here and his personality.


    Truth be told, it was more of a guess. An inference at best.


    Well, worst comes to worst he could always just correct me. It didn¡¯t seem as though he was trying to hide anything from me.


    Rather due to circumstances he was being overly cautious about laying the groundwork for things. Or simply stalling for time.


    Either way now was the time go for broke!


    ¡°Tiran, does this have to do with why you¡¯re isolating yourself from everyone around you?¡±


    He froze mid sentence.The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    I could hear Boss give an short whistle behind me, and Jirard was nodding approvingly at me.


    From his reaction it seemed I¡¯d at least guessed right.


    A hood to narrow his sight, and make him harder to be approached. Spending as much of his time away from home, reducing the chances of parents or acquaintances checking up on him. An avoidance of clubs or team sports, a separation from his peers.


    That was the light in which I viewed those three simple, normal sounding facts.


    His quiet and curt yet courteous speech.


    His habit of putting himself out of the way of others.


    All these facts pointed to a young boy who was isolating himself from the world around him.


    Rather than a background actor it was more as if he were trying to slowly slip away from a conversation he was neither involved in nor had an interest in.


    ¡°I¡­ yeah I suppose you could say it¡¯s related to that.¡± Tiran said attempting to get another foothold in this conversation.


    However he¡¯d affirmed my suspicion, rather than give him time to recover it was my turn to push him. I had the momentum, it was time to make use of it.


    ¡°What does having future sight have to do with you isolating yourself.¡±


    Yes, he¡¯d admitted to isolating himself.


    In other words,


    He was actively isolating himself. It wasn¡¯t that it happened as a side effect of anything, it was an active decision on his part.


    At the very least I was starting to get a clearer idea of why he was so stubborn about coming to this bar. If I had to guess, wherever he spent his time during the day was closing around this time, and so this was the next best isolated area.


    A small bar with only three employees.


    An irresponsible owner that didn¡¯t want to deal with the hassle of kicking someone out.


    A kind hearted old bartender who couldn¡¯t turn him away.


    An awkward waitress who would rather go about her job than deal with him.


    And to top it off barely any customers, this coupled with him only having to deal with the same employees at the bar meant that the chances of him being disturbed by a stranger while here was exponentially lower than sitting around outside.


    If I had to take a guess, that would be how he probably saw this place.


    It had become more than his solace from the problems that plagued a normal highschool kid but rather, a solace from the world.


    ¡°I uh..¡±


    ¡°Out with it.¡± I pushed.


    He was already teetering, it was time to push him until he fell.


    ¡°Alright.¡± He acquiesced.


    ¡°Think of what it¡¯s like, seeing yourself ten years into the future. Seeing the life you live, the person you¡¯re dating, the people you know. It¡¯s like looking into a dream.¡±


    He paused, chances are he never thought he¡¯d have to tell anyone this. Chances are he never wanted to tell anyone this. Still, I couldn¡¯t afford to feel sorry for him.


    ¡°In one small piece I¡¯m a doctor finishing up medical school with a young girlfriend I keep in touch with via email and visit on weekends. In another my first child has been born and I¡¯m cradling her with her mother in the delivery room. In another I¡¯ve moved out of town and am working a side job at a fast food joint while I try to make a living off the music I play at night. When I look into the future my vision is flooded with all of these things together, fit perfectly like a stained glass window.¡±


    Rather than blather about the world lines and probability wouldn¡¯t it have been better to start here? I couldn¡¯t help but think that.


    ¡°For as long as I can remember, I¡¯ve been able to withdraw into myself and look at that giant mass of probability as easily as if I were holding a kaleidoscope to my eye. So I¡¯ve had plenty of time to observe it change over time.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t cowering before me anymore, as meek as he was Tiran wasn¡¯t breaking eye contact with me. It seemed like I¡¯d given him just the push he needed.


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve seen it change. I¡¯ve seen a possibility completely black out to be replaced by a new more likely probability. An entire world line gone because of my actions¡­ At first I didn¡¯t notice but the more time passed the more I saw the possibilities I¡¯d come to be familiar with die before me.¡±


    He laced both his fingers together and clenched them to his palms, a look of stress and regret was plastered across his usual unnoteworthy face.


    ¡°What about the me that was living in that world line? What about that possibility? Each one of them is living his life happily, each one of them is doing far more than I¡¯m doing now and yet with just one little action of mine their lives are snuffed out as though they were never meant to be. I just¡­ I can¡¯t take it anymore.¡±


    My mind blanked a little as he paused again, taking in a deep breath.


    It wasn¡¯t that I couldn¡¯t understand the logic behind it, given the system that he described it was the natural thing to happen.


    But then, what exactly could I do about that? Or rather what could be done about that?


    Given his phrasing I didn¡¯t think he could see exactly what actions would lead to one of his possibilities being erased. Rather if it was that simple then he wouldn¡¯t have to resort to drastic actions like these¡­


    ¡°Just¡­ no more.¡± He repeated, one small tear had begun winding its way down his distraught features.


    ¡°If any action I take could lead to the erasure of a happier me, if any chance meeting could lead to the death of a me that was just living his life and following his dreams, If that¡¯s how things are then I¡¯d rather completely cut myself off from this world.¡±


    More tears were silently flowing, following the path of the first one. He¡¯d paused to take a breath but it ended up mixing with a sob to come out sounding more like a gasp.


    ¡°I¡¯d rather meet no one, I¡¯d rather do nothing. I¡¯d rather preserve them than waste both their lives and mine with frivolity.¡±


    Yes,


    Rather than see the wonderful possibilities he¡¯d come to grow attached to and look to with hope die off and be replaced with others that were destined for the same fate, rather than see his bouquet of dreams that was laid before him whither he would rather do nothing.


    He would rather become stagnant.


    He would rather waste away for the sake of protecting them.


    I could feel goosebumps snake their way down my spine, this was something I¡¯d never imagined. Stealthily I snuck a peak behind me, if Boss or Jirard had an assist maybe I could use that to buy myself some time to think.


    Boss had a grim expression on his face, he seemed to have caught onto my glance and just simply closed his eyes and reclined back comfortably.


    Jirard seemed concerned for Tiran, and for a second I thought he¡¯d pop in with one of his nuggets of wisdom.


    But Tiran had muffled himself down to a quiet whimper and the seconds were dragging on. The time with which he¡¯d usually insert a well timed quip had come and gone.


    I was on my own in this.


    What was I thinking of course I was. Boss had made it plenty clear that he was staying out of this mess and as for Jirard? He seemed to be following Boss on this one.


    By no means was it them being cold, I understood that.


    Boss had implied it earlier, the line between helping and harming was a fine one. It was akin to the difference between medicine and poison, the slightest bit to either side could save or end a life.


    When you don¡¯t know whether the actions you are about to take would take the effect of help or harm it was common sense to withhold your action until you knew more.


    Such a simple piece of common knowledge, and yet as much as I found myself cornered by Tiran¡¯s predicament I couldn¡¯t bring myself to bow out and let this take its course.


    A person couldn¡¯t survive in complete isolation, no matter for what kind of noble reason he thought he was carrying out this self imposed exile something eventually would have to give.


    Who¡¯s to say if we let this run its course Tiran would still be safe in the end?


    Looking back on the things that seemed so major at the time and laughing about them can only be done if you¡¯re alive to do it.


    I don¡¯t think I could let something like this play out that way, I couldn¡¯t bear it. Regardless of how slim the chance was if I could snap Tiran out of this dark place then I had to take it.


    I tried to swallow, but my throat felt like something was caught in it. A hard lump that physically hurt as it slowly made its way down my trachea.


    My thoughts were interrupted by Tiran¡¯s plea, ¡°So please, just ignore me! Leave me be, just let me have this¡­ if you can find it in your heart¡­ please.¡±


    I had to say something.


    I had to do something.


    Even as I tried to urge myself forward I could feel fear and anxiety gripping at my heart.


    The thought of failing, the overwhelming feeling of despair knowing that someone was suffering before me and the best I could do was leave them be.


    Those feelings had become a noose that ever so slowly tightened around my throat, constricting my breath little by little.


    ¡°You always said, I was the kind of person who thrived in adversity.¡± That wistful line from some far off epigraph was the one thing that floated to the surface of my mind amid all the chaos and panic.


    If there was a wall between me and my destination I¡¯d go through it.


    If my only way forward was off the edge of a waterfall I¡¯d dive straight off it.


    Yes, for me those feelings of hesitation were nothing more than shackles.


    Those feelings of helplessness and anxiety were slowly burned away, seared clean off by those familiar feelings of frustration and anger.


    It was all a familiar process.


    The fact that even for a moment I allowed myself to be distracted by those pathetic insecurities frustrated me to no end.


    That no matter how far I¡¯ve come there are still things tying me to the past.


    Just the thought of falling back into how things used to be brought pure bile up from the pit of my stomach. It was enough for my vision to flash red.


    Not the healthiest thing I know, but it was enough to snap me out of those vague tepid insecurities.


    ¡°Tiran, just from listening to you earlier I know you¡¯re a smart kid.¡±


    Yes, that is one thing I¡¯ll say about him, to have comprehended and come up with the amount of details about his future sight that he has by himself.


    And it was exactly because he was smart, that this would work. I¡¯m sure he¡¯d known this all along and just refused to look at it.


    ¡°That¡¯s why you should know a plan like this will absolutely never work.¡±


    ¡°What are you talking about¡­ were you listening to me? I-¡±


    ¡°Of course I was, what do you think the three of us have been doing this whole time?¡± I interrupted him, making a gesture at Boss and Jirard who had each fallen in with our conversation.


    ¡°Then tell me, how can you say that with such certainty!¡± Those quiet tears were gone, his face had taken a slightly rosey color as he lashed out at me.


    Then again, of course he was mad. I was about to deny that tiny bit of salvation he¡¯d thought he¡¯d forged for himself.


    ¡°You said it yourself, it¡¯s your actions are what cause your future sight to change.¡±


    ¡°Exactly that¡¯s wh-¡±


    I slammed my fist down on the table with a loud crash that cut him off. The glass he¡¯d been nursing wobbled before toppling over, creating a small frigid stream with chunks of ice in it that quietly flowed off the table.


    As if it were drawing a line between the two of us.


    ¡°You can¡¯t put a moratorium on life Tiran, even choosing to take no action is still in the end a choice!¡±


    I let that burning sensation that¡¯d started in my stomach begin to seep into my words. I knew he would rather not hear this, but it was something he¡¯d have to confront anyway.


    ¡°You isolating yourself from everyone is still an action. The only difference this makes is instead of spending your days finding happiness you¡¯re wallowing in paranoia and despair.¡±


    I paused, waiting for him to reply. Daring him to bring up another argument for me to shoot down.


    But he had none.


    I see, I guess it was time to deal the final blow.


    ¡°Tiran, no matter what you do your choices will still destroy the possibilities before you. Even if you isolate yourself from society, even if you cut yourself off from the world in the end they will still be erased.¡±


    I looked him in the eyes, even if I had to force these words down his ears I¡¯d get them across.


    ¡°This exercise in solitude you¡¯re playing at, in the end it¡¯s more an exercise in futility.¡±


    Whether he wanted to or not these were the words he needed to hear and since he couldn¡¯t say them himself the duty had fallen to me.


    However now, now that he¡¯s finally acknowledged his mistake.


    Now that he wasn¡¯t blinding himself with lies anymore, surely he could find a solution to this. He was a smart kid he probably already had some other idea in his mind.


    I¡¯d punched holes in his theory, shown him that the ship he thought to be safe was taking on water fast.


    It was basic self preservation to make that leap of logic, from one way of living to another.


    If anyone could do this he could, at least that¡¯s what I thought as I let myself start to calm down.


    This boy who had foresight beyond anyone I¡¯d ever met, this smart high school kid, all he needs to do is take all that stress and worry he¡¯d funneled into his life and turn them into motivation.


    If anyone could eek out a proper life it was him.


    What a fool i was.


    The look on his face was one of pure horror, as if I¡¯d taken something precious from deep inside him and snapped it right before his eyes.


    That rosey color he¡¯d mustered into his face had drained leaving his already pale skin to resemble a cadaver¡¯s.


    His mouth hung open and as he sat in silence.


    The only sound in the entire bar was the spilled water dripping onto the floor one at a time, if it were trying to cry for him.


    Finally he seemed to try to lean back, as if he were trying to get away from me, in the end he shifted his weight too far and clumsily ended up on the floor, still staring into my eyes with his wide eyed panicked gaze.


    Slowly but surely I could feel a weight in my stomach.


    I felt sick.


    ¡°Sorry, I¡¯ve bothered you all.¡± Tiran said his voice sounded like it was all he could do to force the air out of his lUgg¡¯s.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be going now.¡± And with that he left.


    He neither turned around or made eye contact with either of us.


    That just made me feel worse.


    Boss gave a noncommittal ¡°Well, glad that¡¯s done with.¡± Before opening his paper with a snap.


    ¡°Mei, come here a second would you?¡± Jirard called to me. I trudged my way to the counter like an obedient child, it felt as if there was sand instead of blood sifting around in my heart with each beat.


    ¡°Come now.¡± Jirard said giving a good natured smile as he took a kerchief from his vest pocket and dabbed at my eyes.


    ¡°He had to hear that some time, better now before he¡¯d wasted his life away.¡±


    I expected him to chide me,


    ¡®Maybe you should have said it a bit gentler¡¯


    ¡®Maybe you should have said it a bit better¡¯


    ¡®You should have thought out your actions more¡¯


    But they never came. Of course they wouldn¡¯t, that wasn¡¯t the kind of person Jirard was.


    It was just my wish to be scolded for what I¡¯d done.


    It was one thing to say something hurtful, but it was another thing entirely to see the naked pain and despair caused by your actions plastered across your victims face.


    When I closed my eyes it was as if his expression had burned itself into my memories.


    Even by the end of the night, I didn¡¯t feel much better. If anything I felt worse. Worse and worse.


    In the end I didn¡¯t even say goodbye to Boss or Jirard as I left Devil¡¯s Solace and trudged my lonely route home.

 Chapter 5

    That night was the first night in a long while that I dreamt.


    The air was cool and crisp; and gentle sunlight hung low on the scenery around me, filtering through trees and draping my surroundings in soft sunbeams.


    I was in what appeared to be a swamp, the water seemed to almost glow a bright jade color as it spread out for as far as I could see.


    A placid bright green surface spreading out before me, at a glance it almost looked like glass.


    The trees that dotted the surface were a rich cocoa color with verdant tendril-like vines scaling them. Their deep green leaves shone like gems in the sunlight.


    It must¡¯ve rained here recently as sultry droplets of water were still dripping from some of their leaves and shining brilliantly as they caught the sunlight.


    Even as I stood in the knee deep water it was far from unpleasant, the water felt like a comfortable warm blanket as it gently wrapped itself around my legs.


    In all honesty it felt more like a bath than some naturally occurring body of water.


    As I took in all this environment I was struck by what could best be called holy reverence. I couldn¡¯t tell for sure as the trees eventually grew too numerous to see beyond, but I felt as if I were standing in a place far removed from any manner of man made structure.


    A place untouched by civilization.


    A holy site that could only be described as the heart of nature.


    Then, as if bestowed upon me as if it were a gift from the sky, I heard soft laughter. It was neither obnoxious nor obtrusive rather, gentle and feminine like a bell singing in the soft summer breeze.


    ¡°You really mucked it up this time huh Mei?¡±


    Just the caress of that formless, gentle voice sent a goosebump down the back of my neck. It was a pleasant, girlish voice that seemed to affectionately entwine itself around me, almost like a playful cat.


    ¡°But you¡¯ve always been like this huh? So charmingly clumsy, like a kitten learning to walk.¡±


    This sentence was followed by more cute laughter ringing out into the silence. As for myself, that state of holy reverence had been broken, a place like this was far too beautiful to be enjoyed with company.


    It was akin to serving a carefully crafted five star meal to a young child who¡¯d rather be at a fast food restaurant.


    There were certain times that are best experienced alone.


    Certain places that are experienced best in solitude.


    Certain things that are better said with silence.


    As soft and perfect as the voice was any sound would feel like it were trespassing in this resplendent scenery.


    ¡°Gosh, don¡¯t be like that Mei. I even came all this way so we could spend some time together, just the two of us.¡±


    There was a slight pause before, ¡°Although I guess that little pouting face of yours is pretty cute too. I suppose that makes up for it.¡±


    Another giggle.


    To my knowledge I hadn¡¯t changed my facial expression at all. This light and fluffy atmosphere only existed for one of us, rather all I felt was emptiness at this intrusion on my privacy.


    ¡°But really you said some mean things about that poor boy didn¡¯t you? About how ¡®weak¡¯ he was, about he was your natural enemy. You¡¯re such a troublesome child aren¡¯t you?¡±


    It had a sweet way of talking, like thick honey slipping down my throat. Everything it said was so sugar coated I was beginning to feel sick to my stomach.


    ¡°Hey, this is what you wanted wasn¡¯t it? Someone to give you a smack on the bottom and scold you for what a bad girl you¡¯ve been?¡±


    If anyone else had said those words to me I would¡¯ve taken them as mockery. Or rather I would have used all the power I could muster to beat that person within an inch of their life.


    But at the moment it seemed less crude and more akin to a mother scolding a toddler. No hidden innuendos nor scorn were hidden in the voice.


    ¡°Fu fu fu, how like a child. Don¡¯t worry though, that clumsy childish side of you is one of the things I love the most.¡±


    I felt sicker and sicker.


    ¡°Just get to the point.¡± I said, an uncomfortable feeling spreading out from my stomach. Like a poison spreading through my innards.


    ¡°Now now, no need to be impatient silly.¡±


    It was like there was a steady stream of honey dripping down my throat, it was all I could do to keep myself from gagging.


    ¡°Well, if you were to ask me I would agree with you. That boy is completely and undeniably weak. This is neither a matter of malice nor contempt, a simple statement of the facts.¡±


    I could feel its grip on me loosen, its sticky honey covered entwinement of my being begin to slacken. Like it had wrapped around my neck and slowly and sweetly begun choking the life out of me before I¡¯d noticed, but now was loosening.


    The cold crisp air filled my lungs and burned.


    The degrees of closeness with which it had addressed me had been stifling.


    ¡°If you were to ask me from what I saw it was the opposite of what you said. Rather, you were his natural enemy.¡±


    ¡°...¡±


    ¡°After all, strength is the natural enemy of weakness. You¡¯re such a difficult existence for people like that, you¡¯re strong and pigheaded and at the same time you hold other people to the same standard you create for yourself.¡±


    ¡°...¡±


    ¡°What exactly did you think cornering that boy would do?¡±


    ¡°Well..¡±


    ¡®If I force him to confront the truth he¡¯ll have to come up with a better way of living.¡¯ I suppose naive thoughts like that were going through my head at the time. In the end I suppose it was exactly like Boss had said, and in the end what had been the correct choice for me had only served to hurt Tiran.


    ¡°Why I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if that poor boy went and offed himself. Fu fu, you¡¯re horrible as always Mei.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I suppose I am.¡±


    ¡°Even after all this time you still haven¡¯t changed a bit. Even now you¡¯re making the same mistakes you always do.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry Mei, no matter how terrible you are, no matter how disgusting you become I¡¯ll always love you.¡±


    That sick feeling I¡¯d been subjected to earlier came back full force almost causing me to double over with nausea.


    ¡°Fu fu, even your sick face is adorable.¡±


    The voice cooed, another disgusting giggle following its words.


    ¡°Well, as much as I¡¯d love to lock you away and keep you all to myself it seems like our time is coming to an end.¡±


    The voice let out a dainty little ¡°hmph¡± after spewing such sickly sweet words into my ears. Like a snake whispering sweet nothings to its prey before devouring them whole.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be lonely my little Mei, I¡¯ll be by your side even if you can¡¯t see me. I¡¯m always watching over you, I¡¯ll always be here if you need someone to cry to. I¡¯ll always love you.¡±


    Those words sunk into my gut like a fist from a pro fighter. It was if someone had dropped a mass of iron onto my stomach, I could feel them pressing and compressing my vital organs.


    ¡°Now then, don¡¯t worry I¡¯ll stop by again later. So put up with the distance for just a little while longer for me mkay?¡±


    My eyes flew open and I immediately sat up in my bed. My breath was ragged and my heart was beating a mile a minute. An uncomfortable cold sweat clung to my body despite the warm Summer day and my body seemed to ache down to my very bones.


    I felt like I¡¯d  had a nightmare.


    A terrible dream that I¡¯d never want to see again. But for the life of me I couldn¡¯t recall any of the details.


    And then it hit me.


    Waves of nausea like the growing tide washed over me. I fell out of bed with a loud crash and scrambled into the small nearby bathroom where I sat doubled over and retching into the toilet.


    I don¡¯t usually eat much before bed, by the time I make it home I more or less barely have enough energy to shower before passing out.


    As such I was subjected to that particular kind of torture. When there¡¯s nothing in your stomach and yet your body stubbornly tries to purge itself. It was if something had been stealthily slipped into me during my sleep and now my body was desperately trying to extricate the contaminants.


    Like it was rejecting the very essence of something. My mind was still hazy from just waking up, so for the life of me I couldn¡¯t think of what could be the cause of this.


    So I just rode it out. The cycle of calm waiting before prostrating myself, it was akin to some kind of holy worship. And then finally after about an hour it subsided.


    And so it went, that as I laid on the cold tile full of exhaustion I could hear my alarm start to go off from the other room.


    My stomach ached and it felt like my muscles had been forcibly tightened until the point of rupturing. There was a burning sensation in my throat and my voice was hoarse and cracked. The thin film of cold sweat had grown to the point where my neat white shirt I wore to bed was drenched.


    I practically crawled out of the bathroom to the nightstand by my bed where my phone was. It was blaring some catchy rock song I¡¯d heard somewhere a while back and liked to the point of making an alarm out of it.


    As much as I enjoyed the cold hard tile the walls in this apartment were pretty thin and even if this was in the afternoon I didn¡¯t want to be a nuisance.


    I had about another hour until I¡¯d miss my bus, but for the moment the most I could muster was to lie down on the hardwood floor and just stare at the wall, finding shapes and patterns amid the ridges and bumps on it.


    I had absolutely no appetite. I¡¯m usually the kind of person who forces herself to eat breakfast regardless, but right now I just didn¡¯t have the energy. Eggs and toast with milk were my go to, but at the time just imagining solid food in my mouth was enough to make my stomach start to twist into a knot.


    And yet, as terrible as I felt in the end it was a sort of vindication. This was what I deserved. Those old feelings of self loathing had managed to scrape their way back into my heart and I didn¡¯t have the energy to tear them off again.


    And so that was how my day started.


    In the end I managed to pull myself up and change into my work clothes, and while I still couldn¡¯t bear to eat anything I did manage to sip some water.


    Even as I watched the shows I normally do before work on the small tv in my kitchen I couldn¡¯t bring my mind to focus on them.


    After that I slipped on my comfortable black overcoat and made my way outside. It wasn¡¯t particularly hot nor was it particularly humid and yet I could feel the sun rays beating down on my like an iron curtain.


    I must¡¯ve looked especially terrible since as I passed the landlady on the way to the bus stop she caught my arm out of concern.


    Heck on top of offering to get me some medicine she even suggested I call into work sick.


    I did my best to assuage her concerns and tried to hurry on my way. Something small like this wasn¡¯t big enough to warrant that kind of concern. As long as I could still move then I could still work.


    That was my philosophy.


    Causing such concern over a simple and small thing was enough to cause my empty stomach to fill with shame.


    In the end because of my slow trudging pace I made it to my stop just as my bus rounded the corner and pulled alongside it. If I had let myself dawdle for even a minute more I most likely would have to wait a half hour for the next one.


    Usually I prefer to arrive at least fifteen minutes early just to be sure, but I suppose this time it couldn¡¯t be helped.


    The bus ride was a blur, I sat down on the rough fabric that covered the plastic seats and the next thing I knew I had pulled the line more on instinct than anything and gotten off at my stop. Silently relieved I hadn¡¯t missed it in my weakened state I made my way off the bus and found myself at the same corner I always did.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    This town I lived in that sat itself so comfortably by the sea was built on a hill, as such aside from a few houses and the wharf simply looking gave me a wonderful view of the vast sea.


    From the trickle of the water flowing its way from the gutter to the sea to the green tree tops that gently swayed in the ocean breeze the scenery seemed to tug at me every time I stepped off that bus, and this time even more so.


    Somewhere far off I heard the bus¡¯ engine roar to life as it continued its vigil around town.


    Somewhere far off I could feel my shallow footsteps take me to the stop sign at the intersection.


    Somewhere far off I could hear the sound of cars receding into the distance.


    The only thing I could bring myself to focus on was the vast expanse of sea. Once again those familiar thoughts filled my head, I¡¯ve overstayed my welcome in this town, this was no place for me, I didn¡¯t belong.


    Someone like me didn¡¯t deserve the peace I¡¯d found here.


    If I stayed here I¡¯d just end up repeating the same mistakes over and over until I was thrown out like last time.


    Such wicked thoughts were seductively whispered inside my brain, and I couldn¡¯t bring myself to refute any of them.


    Even now their eyes still burned themselves into my memory, they were less human beings and more immaculate statues glaring upon all who were present.


    Their voices once again resounded through my being.


    It was all my fault. It was all my fault. It was all my fault.


    Over and over.


    Over and over.


    There are some mistakes that can¡¯t be fixed, and there are some wounds that would never heal. In the end I suppose people like me just didn¡¯t deserve to be happy. In the end it was better if I just left everything here behind. In the end it was better if I disappeared. In the end solitude is the only thing a person like me deserves. In the end-


    ¡°Oy there you are! Jesus you had me worried.¡±


    I visibly jumped as his voice tore me from my thoughts.


    ¡°Cripes kid, just how long have you been standing there?¡±


    I turned my head and just like on that day I could see a disgusting sketchy looking man before me. He had gaudy gold rimmed sunglasses on and messy pale blonde hair. With his fancy pin-striped vest over a dress shirt and red tie, those formal accents only made him seem sketchier.


    Rather than the humble owner of a bar he looked more like the kind of person who would personally throw themselves in front of your car to collect the insurance money.


    ¡°I know I joked about you being ten minutes late, but an hour is nothing to joke about Mei.¡±


    An hour?


    I struggled to comprehend what he meant. I¡¯d just gotten off the bus, then wandered to this stop sign and then¡­ and then¡­


    Sure enough the oranges reds and golds of the sunrise had long since passed me by. Rather a deep purple and blue was all that was left in the sky, some stars were starting to finally poke their heads out from wherever they were hiding.


    The moon itself was starting its ascension to the sky.


    It was just as he¡¯d said, at the very least an hour must have passed since I¡¯d gotten off my bus. The air had cooled down and the night¡¯s chill was just beginning to take effect.


    ¡°Sorry, Boss.¡± I managed to croak out. I could feel my cheeks begin to flush with shame at letting myself get carried away and causing trouble for him too.


    He let out another of his sighs and approached me, before pausing.


    ¡°Wow you look terrible. Did you get hit by a bus or something?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine, I¡¯ll head to work soon. Sorry Boss.¡± was all I could muster.


    Yet he caught me as I tried to hurriedly push past him to the bar.


    ¡°The fuck you will, Jesus Mei have you eaten at all?¡±


    ¡°I had some water. I¡¯ll be okay.¡±


    I felt his hand clamp tightly around my wrist. It hurt a little but I didn¡¯t have the energy to protest.


    ¡°Not on my watch, c¡¯mon missy first thing¡¯s first we¡¯re getting some food in you.¡±


    All I could do was stumble awkwardly as he pulled me along away from the bar. I felt like a stupid kid that¡¯d thrown a tantrum and was being forcibly led from the store by an embarrassed parent.


    ¡°What about the Bar Boss?¡±


    ¡°Ha! Like I do anything there anyway, Jirard can handle things himself.¡±


    Poor Jirard.


    And so we stayed like that, me with my head down awkwardly trying to keep my balance as Boss practically dragged me forward. His pace seemed so fast, it was like I could hardly keep up with him.


    Finally we entered what looked to be a diner and I heard a voice ring out. ¡°Welco- James I told you you¡¯re welcome whenever but kidnapping is a crime. If the police stop by here I¡¯ll be the first one to rat you out y¡¯know.¡±


    The voice seemed feminine, though it had been made gruff by what must¡¯ve been countless cigarettes. Just when I was wondering who this ¡®James¡¯ was I heard Boss yell back ¡°Oy shut it Deloras, nice to know where I stand on your priorities.¡±


    ¡°Kid have you seen the cops around here? I¡¯d sell you out in a second if I could get a few of them to spend some time with me.¡±


    ¡°Ugh please don¡¯t give me that mental image.¡± Boss muttered before taking me to a booth and sitting me down.


    Lifting my head a little I found myself in unfamiliar surroundings. It felt like an old diner with checkerboard tile and a bar at the center where a grey haired old woman stood with a grin plastered across her face.


    Noticing my gaze and catching sight of me the woman that must¡¯ve been Deloras turned to Boss, ¡°Where¡¯d you find this one James? She¡¯s pale as a sheet, the strays you keep bringing by here look healthier than her.¡±


    ¡° ¡®This one¡¯ is my subordinate Mei, I was wondering why she didn¡¯t show up for work and found her just spacing out on a street corner.¡±


    Deloras gave an indignant huff and turned to me ¡°Mei, if this guy over here is overworking ya or anything don¡¯t be afraid to report him to the authorities.¡±


    ¡°What makes you think I had anything to do with this!?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re her superior, knowing you the amount of crap you put her through on a daily basis could be the cause of this. Why if it weren¡¯t for that wonderful gentleman I swear your bar would¡¯ve gone under ten times by now.¡±


    ¡°Yeah yeah will you shut it already? Just get me the usual while I see what¡¯s wrong.¡±


    These kinds of fights seemed like a regular occurrence between these two. Rather than Diner owner and her customer they were more like brother and sister¡­ though I suppose the age gap was rather severe.


    After a moment¡¯s silence Boss handed me a laminated menu ¡°Here, pick whatever you like.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine Boss, I¡¯m not hungry.¡±


    ¡°What? you think I¡¯ll try and make you foot the bill? At least have some faith in me.¡± When I didn¡¯t respond to his obvious set up he forced the menu into my hands.


    ¡°It¡¯s on me alright, just make sure you eat it all.¡±


    ¡°...¡±


    Boss let out a long sigh before continuing ¡°I told you didn¡¯t I, and yet here you are after sticking your nose where it didn¡¯t belong.¡±


    ¡°Someone had to do something and you and Jirard weren¡¯t bothering¡­¡±


    ¡°Jeez you sound like sulking child.¡±


    I felt sick, I don¡¯t know why but those words that came nonchalantly out of his mouth made me sick to my very core.


    ¡°But still, I suppose that was the only thing you could think to do huh? Rather than give him his personal space, rather than giving him time to sort it out himself you dove right in like some big damn hero.¡±


    ¡°But what if it never got better? What if it only got worse? What if in the end he¡­¡±


    ¡°What if what if what if Christ¡­ for a silly hard headed young lady you sure get caught up on the smallest things don¡¯t you?¡±


    Boss took his sunglasses off, carefully folded them and stuck them in his vest pocket. His eyes were an ice blue, if they¡¯d been any paler they would have been white.


    ¡°Everyone makes mistakes Mei, and everyone has their own ways of dealing with them. It may take some time and they may stumble along the way, but they¡¯ll solve it eventually. You learn more by falling down than being propped up.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s my fault. Whatever happens now is my fault¡­ my responsibility¡­ you said so yourself Boss.¡±


    ¡°Yeah and? Responsibilities aren¡¯t absolute things. Knowing you, you¡¯re the type that tackles everything at once and gets overwhelmed. But you know, if it¡¯s going to see you end up like this it¡¯s okay to shirk. It¡¯s fine to laze about if this is the alternative. All you need to do is bow your head and apologize later.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s terrible Boss¡­¡±


    ¡°Ha, sure it is. But self care is the most important part of living. There¡¯s no greater responsibility you have than to yourself.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re terrible Boss¡­¡±


    He truly was a horrible role model, honestly who goes around telling people to shirk their obligations and to laze about.


    Such a terrible, horrible boss, and even yet I could feel the knots in my chest begin to unravel one at a time and hot tears began to filter out of my eyes.


    ¡°If you ask me Mei, Sloth was only labeled a sin because of jealousy. Everyone gets so wound up in obligations and expectations that seeing other people break away from all that to get some time to themselves fills them with envy.¡±


    ¡°Oy¡­ you¡¯re talking about one of the cardinal sins here¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah? What¡¯s ambition without greed? Or satisfaction without pride? Motivation without envy? Everything is fine in moderation.¡±


    ¡°That sounds like some kind of two bit fortune cookie¡­¡± My voice was still weak and awkward but at the very least I was feeling a little better.


    ¡°Hey Mei, why did you want to help him?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s just some brat that showed up one day, what¡¯s so important about some weird kid¡¯s issues? Why bother getting involved.¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ why did you pick me up three months ago? Why was I so special that you practically got down on your knees and begged me to work for you?¡±


    ¡°Heh, well I wouldn¡¯t have been on my knees if you hadn¡¯t punched me y¡¯know?¡±


    ¡°I said I was sorry didn¡¯t I¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah yeah, well if you had to ask me it was because you were like one of the characters from my favorite samurai movie.¡±


    ¡°Excuse me?¡±


    ¡°Yep, one look on your face and I could tell that you were looking for a place to die. So I thought what a shame for someone so young, and decided to try and take advantage of you while I could heh heh.¡±


    ¡°You were actually sounding like a decent person till that last part there Boss¡­¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re still here aren¡¯t you? If you ask me the deal worked out nicely for both of us.¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t you just help people without expecting anything in return?¡±


    ¡°Please! Show me someone who helps others expecting nothing in return and I¡¯ll show you a goddamned liar and con artist. Besides if you ask me there¡¯s no greater arrogance than helping someone at no benefit to yourself.¡±


    ¡°How do you figure that?¡±


    ¡°Think of what you¡¯re saying, the scales aren¡¯t balanced. You¡¯re swooping down from the heavens and solving their problems for them, what kind of debt are they accruing towards you? Rather than helping them aren¡¯t you just proving how wretched they are? Aren¡¯t you just marking them as a thing to be pitied?¡±


    Deloras had brought us some ice water, which boss took a break from his tirade to gulp some down.


    ¡°If you ask me, rather than one sided kindness give and take is far better. Rather than establishing yourself as some sort of savior, isn¡¯t it better for the other party if you¡¯re both on equal terms? Rather than saddling them with a debt for the rest of their lives, give them the satisfaction of having earned their salvation.¡±


    It was a twisted devilish rhetoric, but I¡¯d be lying if I couldn¡¯t see the logic behind it. No one truly desires to be pitied. In such a case when possible, establishing an action that helps the needy party while preserving their dignity does sound like the best case scenario.


    Then again there are times when I think that kind of thinking can do more harm than good.


    ¡°Well that¡¯s just me, you¡¯re free to have whatever kind of philosophy you want.¡± Boss said, downing the rest of his water.


    Deloras came out with what looked to be an apple pie with vanilla ice cream on top, after a few ribbings at Boss¡¯ expense she took her vigil behind the counter again.


    ¡°So tell me Mei, why did you want to help that Boy? Was it to lord your status as savior over him? To be a life changing adult that shapes young impressionable children¡¯s mind?¡±


    ¡°No¡­ nothing like that.¡±


    ¡°Huhhhh? So you¡¯re saying you¡¯re some kind of superhero huh?¡± I could tell he was teasing me, trying to lighten the mood.


    ¡°If I had to say why, I wanted to help him for myself. There was someone a long time ago that I never helped and because of that I¡¯ve regretted it ever since.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to go into details if you don¡¯t want to.¡± came Boss¡¯ nonchalant answer. But still I was grateful for it, rather than puke up my guts for him, keeping that thing locked inside my heart was much more preferable.


    ¡°So I feel like now, I need to do something.. I need to take action so this time things¡¯ll end differently. If not for him, than for myself.¡±


    ¡°Sounds fine to me, as long as you keep that in mind. Know who you¡¯re helping and why you are.¡±


    ¡°But I just don¡¯t know how I can help him¡­ what more can I say to him¡­¡±


    Boss took a bit to answer as he was enjoying his pie but once his mouth was cleared he finally did.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you do enough already? Do you really need to do so much just to satisfy your own guilt?¡±


    ¡°You saw his face didn¡¯t you? That look in his eyes¡­ it was just like¡­¡±


    ¡°Looking in a mirror huh? Well at least you¡¯re self aware ha ha.¡± Some crumbs from Boss¡¯ pie spilled out of his mouth as he laughed like a jackass.


    ¡°But I just don¡¯t know what else to say¡­I can¡¯t solve the kid¡¯s problems¡­ I can¡¯t even wrap my head around what he¡¯d have to do to preserve all those things he sees¡­¡±


    ¡°Hmm, well it seems you¡¯ve at least reflected on things.¡± Boss said finishing his pie and leaning back in the booth. ¡°I have a bit of a feeling as to what went wrong so I¡¯ll give you a clue.¡±


    ¡°A clue?¡±


    ¡°Of course, it¡¯s your mess you need to solve it yourself.¡±


    ¡°What do you get out of this.¡± I asked suspiciously of him.


    ¡°I get my employee to stop spacing out for an hour on some street corner and actually come to work.¡±


    Well...I couldn¡¯t exactly refute that¡­


    ¡°The message was right, but I think your approach was off, I guess you could say the devil was in the details.¡±


    ¡°Huh? What kind of vague hint is that?¡±


    ¡°Hey Mei, do you know what Kaleidoscope means?¡±


    ¡°Of course, it¡¯s one of those cylinders you look through to see a bunch of intricate designs and colors from refracted light right?¡±


    ¡°I guess so? But that¡¯s way too literal for what I was looking for.¡±


    ¡°Make your questions more clear then Boss.¡±


    ¡°The word Kaleidoscope comes from the roots: Kalos or beauty, Eidos which is form or shape, and Skopeo or to look or examine. If you were to give that word meaning it¡¯d be something akin to ¡®observation of beautiful forms¡±


    ¡°Huh? I don¡¯t get what you¡¯re saying¡­¡±


    ¡°The kid is talking about viewing the future as through a kaleidoscope. But rather than that isn¡¯t he just caught up in the beauty of possibility? Using a kaleidoscope you can¡¯t actually see the path you¡¯re treading all you can see is the beautiful spinning patterns and colors.¡±


    For the first time in the past twenty four hours I began to feel a bit of hope. My insides had almost fully untied themselves and slowly but surely energy was returning back to my body.


    ¡°Rather than focus on some problem with super powers can¡¯t things be simplified much more?¡±


    ¡°Simplified huh¡­¡±


    ¡°Yep, then again that¡¯s just my opinion. It¡¯s up to you to figure out a plan of attack.¡± Boss flashed another of his shady smiles at me.


    ¡°Boss, I¡¯m going to find Tiran and knock some sense into the kid.¡±


    ¡°Oh come on¡± He gave a mock sigh and spread his arms ¡°Just remember assault is a crime young lady.¡±


    ¡°I know, and hey boss?¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡±


    I wish you¡¯d keep your nosey nature to yourself, and can¡¯t you at least learn to act your age?


    ¡°I¡¯m really glad you found me today.¡±


    It¡¯s just been one thing after another working for you, can¡¯t you give me a break?


    ¡°I¡¯m really glad that you hired me.¡± I said with the first smile in what felt like ages plastered on my face like some kind of stupid kid.


    ¡°Yeah yeah, just don¡¯t make a habit of it.¡± Boss lightly waved me off as if it hardly mattered to him.


    Hunger was finally setting in after the terrible wake up I¡¯d had. After everything that happened it felt like it¡¯d been days since I¡¯d eaten. Just the smell of Boss¡¯ pie was enough to almost bring drool to my lips.


    ¡°Hey Boss, is it alright if I order the center cut steak?¡±


    ¡°Ha? What¡¯d I tell you earlier? Order anything as long as you eat it all. I may be a lot of things but I aint a cheapskate when it comes to dates.¡±


    If this was any other time I would¡¯ve gone as far as to not ordering a thing at his ¡®date¡¯ comment. The last thing I needed was this shady old guy bragging about how we went on a date and how I was head over heels for him.


    But for some reason I didn¡¯t feel like starting that.


    ¡°Thanks Boss, I appreciate it.¡±


    He gave a bemused laugh.


    ¡°Just make sure you don¡¯t keep that lonely problem child waiting too long now.¡±


    And so with food in my belly and a newfound sense of relief hanging over my heart my preparations for my final showdown with Tiran was done.


    All that remained, was the final battle itself.

 Chapter 6

    And so it was that I found myself sitting near the docks as the day officially came to an end and a new one began. In my hand I held the long thin umbrella Boss had given me before we parted ways.


    ¡°Oh yeah, there¡¯s a storm that¡¯s supposed to be blowin in from the sea. We¡¯re supposed to get some decent rain finally, take this in case you need it.¡±


    Or something to that effect was his parting words.


    That kind of vague hand waving was just like him, rather than express worry or faith in me he simply sent me on my way with a bit of warning about the weather. Then again the state I¡¯m in now he could¡¯ve tried to physically stop me and I would¡¯ve gone straight through him, such was my frame of mind.


    He was a nosey obnoxious man who in the end was far too kind for his own good.


    As I waited patiently for my company whom I knew would arrive sooner or later, I allowed myself the luxury of looking back on that day we¡¯d first met.


    I¡¯d punched him twice and sent him sprawling each time, and each time he¡¯d sprung back up. He had the tenacity of a telemarketer, no rather the tenacity of an autodial machine.


    ¡°Jeez kid, if you aren¡¯t careful you¡¯ll break this pair too! What¡¯s with you, is this how you greet all employers interested in hiring you?¡±


    ¡°Oy, don¡¯t just shrug that off like it¡¯s some new kind of interview technique, I¡¯m not interested in whatever the fuck it is you want me for. Just looking at you it¡¯s probably some kind of sketchy illegal shit too.¡±


    ¡°Ha ha ha, you¡¯re so defensive it¡¯s adorable.¡± With blood trickling from both his nostrils and a black and blue mark on his swollen cheek he laughed like he was dealing with some precocious child.


    ¡°But you should be more careful Ms.Disaster. If I were a con artist you¡¯d already have fallen into my clutches.¡±


    ¡°Oh really?¡±


    ¡°Do you know how much these sunglasses cost per pair?¡± He took out a smartphone, from the light of the street lamp I could just barely make out a sticker of a cartoon samurai with white hair and white clothes on the back of it. It even had a cheap plastic charm hanging off of it with a katana and some kanji engraved on a plaque attached.


    Eventually he held it out and on the screen there was the exact pair of sunglasses I¡¯d shattered earlier, underneath the price tag was¡­.


    ¡°Four hundred dollars!?¡±


    ¡°I know right, I can¡¯t even just buy these things off the street. Gotta order them off the maker¡¯s website, it¡¯s a real hassle I¡¯ll tell ya.¡±


    He said that, but didn¡¯t he just pull a spare pair from that vest pocket of his? How often did the situation happen in which he had to carry around spares or rather why not just buy a cheaper pair?


    What an incomprehensible guy.


    ¡°See if I was a scammer I¡¯d¡¯ve immediately demanded you pay me back whatever the means necessary, organs, the fillings in your teeth¡­. Honestly I shudder to think about it heh.¡±


    ¡°Oy, what was that ¡®heh¡¯ at the end there?¡±


    ¡°But you see young missy it¡¯s your lucky day! I¡¯m a law abiding citizen and as such I shall simply refer you to the local authorities, after all that was a splendid case of assault and battery, destruction of property too.¡±


    ¡°If you ask me you sound more like a scammer now than ever!¡±


    ¡°Oh yea? Well we can always work something out under the table¡­¡±


    ¡°How about you fuck off?¡±


    ¡°Hey hey, it¡¯s not that bad a deal. I¡¯ll get you a place to stay, even pay you minimum wage. You just gotta work off the cost of these sunglasses, easy yea?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Oh? Just what else do you have planned, if you have any pressing matters by all means go on your way. Hell I¡¯m a nice guy, if you have a particular dream you¡¯re gunning for I¡¯ll even count that.¡±


    It would have been easy to lie, to make up some dream like starting a family, traveling the world, any of those typical hallmark card esque fantasies. But as much as he seemed like your typical sleezebag I had a feeling he¡¯d see right through any lie I gave him at this moment, or rather the act of lying right now would merely be proving his point.


    ¡°See? It¡¯s like you¡¯re a fall leaf just floating from place to place, if that¡¯s all you got goin for you why not just kill some time here? It won¡¯t take that long, and you¡¯re free to leave whenever you want after.¡±


    That offer sounded far too good to be true, just what did he expect to come from following a stranger in the middle of the night and chatting them up like this.


    ¡°What kind of job is it?¡± I said, averting my eyes from his grinning visage before me. It was a little humiliating to end up falling for his tricks, like a cat being drawn in by a toy. It was truly the simplest of ploys, just hang on and persevere until the person you¡¯re chatting up gives in. But I suppose that¡¯s just how weak I was back then. A pathetic stray with nowhere to go but some dumpster somewhere.


    In the end that was how my long aimless years of wandering came to a close, I always used to leave towns within a few days. Either by bus or by train or by foot, I¡¯d sever whatever connections I¡¯d formed in the time there and disappear without a goodbye. However I couldn¡¯t bring myself to do that this time, like a leech I¡¯ve been clinging to Boss¡¯ kindness these past three months.


    Honestly, that man truly was a troublesome guy. In the end I just can¡¯t bring myself to hate him.


    Slipping out of those embarrassing past memories, I scanned my dark surroundings. There was neither human nor animal moving about me, but that was fine. He¡¯d be here eventually.


    I¡¯d wait here as long as it took.


    And so it was that I wasn¡¯t kept waiting long. It couldn¡¯t have been a half hour after I¡¯d gone back to scanning my surroundings that movement in the dark caught my eye. I concentrated on it, stared unblinkingly until a familiar figure made its way into the into the light of the street lamp.


    ¡°You really kept me waiting didn¡¯t you, Tiran?¡±


    The lighting and stage were superb if I did say so myself. The dock was lit by nothing but a few floodlights and there was nothing but street lamps creating splotches of illumination down the road leading to where I sat. Whoever decided on the lighting for this area must have had a thing for stage plays.


    The shadows were cast in a way that the tiniest movement would create a huge flash of darkness, in this way even the tiniest change of expression was emphasized almost to exaggeration.


    ¡°...What are you doing here Ms.Mei?¡±


    ¡°Do me a favor and drop the Ms. part, do I look like some kind of calendar girl to you?¡±


    ¡°Fine¡­ Mei.¡±


    Rather than the stubborn meekness he¡¯d so desperately cloaked himself with this time his voice was filled with caution. Rather than rolling over and exposing his belly he was lowering his stance and trying to feel out my motivations and intentions.


    ¡°Why are you here? Or rather¡­ how did you know I was coming here tonight?¡±


    ¡°To be honest I didn¡¯t know you were coming here tonight, but if you didn¡¯t show up I¡¯d simply have to camp out the next night. Pretty simple really.¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t answer my question, why did you know I was here!¡± He seemed to feel a little threatened by me at the very least, his voice was raising with stress and alarm. More and more he was beginning to resemble a cornered animal.


    ¡°Oh that? I had a hunch you¡¯d be thinking of doing something stupid right about now so I went out of my way wait for you here.¡±


    Exactly, how did I know he¡¯d come to this dock? Because I¡¯d contemplated the same thing time and time again. Every time I stepped off the bus I contemplated coming down here and just disappearing like I¡¯d never been born.


    Boss had helped me see things from a better perspective. In the end my hostility and my confrontational actions towards him had been out of fear. I recognized the things I¡¯d seen in him, I recognized the kind of place he was in and I was rejecting them. Even now looking into Tiran¡¯s face was like looking into an old cracked mirror.


    Rather than two terminally different entities we were two terminally similar ones, we each reflected the weakness we saw in ourselves.


    And that is why we had to clash here and now, neither of us could stand the sight of the other.


    That is why he had emphasized for me to not forget why I¡¯m going through with this in the first place, for an idiot who wears sunglasses in the middle of the night his insight was frightening.


    ¡°Fine, I can see you aren¡¯t willing to tell me.¡± Tiran said keeping his eyes locked on me where I sat comfortably.


    ¡°Nope, a lady has her secrets after all.¡±


    Of course there was more to it than that, Tiran himself had an obsession with isolating himself. Given his perspective he¡¯s been acutely sensitive to how his actions would affect his own future, as such most of the usual methods are out. Rather than burden another person with discovery, or risk being found and saved, he had reached the conclusion that it was best for Tiran to disappear.


    All that was left was how. Wandering off into the nearby countryside was a poor choice, starvation took days and there was always the chance of encountering others. Therefore he had turned his attention to the sea, the open ocean during a storm was a very dangerous place. He could easily take one of the small rental boats and head out into that azure abyss never to be seen again.


    As if reenacting some ancient greek tragedy he was readying to throw himself into the raging broil of the sea, never to be seen again.


    And through a more roundabout method he had reached the conclusion I had long ago.


    ¡°Don¡¯t try and stop me Mei, this is for the best.¡±


    ¡°Oh really? Kid, you¡¯re being awfully melodramatic aren¡¯t you?¡± I twisted my mouth into a smile, giving my best impression of Boss¡¯ lackadaisical manners.


    ¡°Shut up.¡±


    Ah, this conversation was already bringing me a sense of deja vu.


    ¡°I don¡¯t like you one bit Mei, leave me alone!¡±


    ¡®I don¡¯t like you¡¯ I had been hoping to hear those words since he¡¯d finally decided to show up. He was finally placing himself in opposition to me, rather than employee and customer, rather than adult and teenager, rather than stranger and stranger we are now enemies.


    Finally we were on equal terms.


    Just as I was rejecting him he was doing the same, this had turned from one sided enmity to a proper conflict. This was the kind of thing I¡¯d wanted, this was the only way I could properly confront him.


    ¡°You ¡®don¡¯t like me¡¯? Please kid, I¡¯ve got better things to do than worry about how popular I am with minors.¡± I smirked, standing up from my comfortable seat and walking until I was directly under the nearest street light, it shone down on the two of us like spotlights. Under the brightness the scenery seemed to fade into obscurity, it was just me and him surrounded by darkness.


    ¡°Then why are you here? Why are you always so opposed to everything I do?! You made it clear I couldn¡¯t stay at the bar and now you¡¯re stopping me here. Just leave me alone!¡±


    ¡°I told you before, I¡¯m here to stop you from doing something stupid. Kid, everything seems like such a big damn deal right now but when you¡¯re older you¡¯ll look back and feel embarrassed at it all. Everyone looks back to their high school years and hates themselves, one day you¡¯ll be doing the same thinking about this whole mess.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you fucking pretend like you understand what it¡¯s like.¡±


    ¡°Oh? Enlighten me.¡±


    ¡°I did! I told you just by existing I¡¯m killing off the happiness of others. If that¡¯s the case it¡¯d be better if I disappeared¡­¡±You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.


    His voice seemed to catch in his throat and he seemed to gasp about for a second like a fish flopping around on the ground.


    ¡°It¡¯d be better if I were dead.¡±


    ¡°Like I said kid, you¡¯re being way too dramatic for this shit.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know how it feels! No one does! I¡¯m the only one with this burden! I¡¯m the only one dealing with this! Me! All by myself, so stop talking down to me like I¡¯m just some stupid kid!¡±


    I did know.


    However I wasn¡¯t going to bring it up with him, there was no point. He was all caught up in his own problems, he¡¯d kept running and running, spinning his wheels and spinning his wheels, and now finally all that pent up stress and frustration was exploding to the surface.


    Until now he¡¯d had no one but himself to blame, some unseen force was opposing him and causing him misery and there was nothing he could do. But now, now there was someone standing in his way, someone obstructing his path.


    Yes, rather than someone who understood him he was looking for someone to vilify; and I was more than happy to play the part.


    His face was flushing red with anger, and he had this pathetic look on his face it was honestly all too comical. To me he looked just like a child, so I couldn¡¯t help but laugh. A truly wonderful villain¡¯s laugh if I do say so myself.


    ¡°You¡­ what¡¯s so funny¡­¡±


    ¡°You, kid! Damn, with all that talk do you think you¡¯re some kind of chosen one? Some kind of special existence? I mean seriously how conceited can you get!¡±


    I flashed him my best ¡°Boss smirk¡± curling my lip back a bit to show off a bit of my teeth.


    ¡°I am! I must be! After all who else has this power!? Who else is going through this!?¡±


    ¡°Lots of people kid, most people go through this shit. Most just handle this a lot better than you.¡±


    ¡°Shut up! How can that be true?¡±


    I gave another mocking laugh, ¡°Kid, I hate to break it to you but you¡¯re nothing special. You put on all these airs and hold yourself above everyone else but in the end you¡¯re just a stupid teenager trying to solve everything himself. In the end you¡¯re just like everyone else.¡±


    The first thing to do was break down the degrees of separation Tiran had set up. From the start his ability had caused him to set himself above everyone else. From the start he had in some form or another looked down on everyone else.


    ¡°You talk some good shit about science and world lines. About alternate futures, about endless possibilities but really everything is embarrassingly simple.¡±


    ¡°You¡­! Then how would you solve it!? How would you protect those in the future, how would you save those world lines!?¡±


    ¡°Did you look those up online or something? Cause you just seem to go on and on about shit that doesn¡¯t even matter.¡±


    ¡°What¡­!?¡±


    ¡°Rather than all of that complex metaphysical bullshit, you¡¯re simply paralyzed with indecision.¡±


    ¡°What are you talking about¡­?¡±


    ¡°You see all these possibility and all those choices before you and you¡¯re afraid to choose one. That¡¯s what all this boils down to isn¡¯t it?¡±


    Naturally as you grow up your horizons begin to broaden, and with it so does your awareness of your surroundings. Slowly but surely you become aware of the staggering amount of options available for you in your life, all the different paths that diverge from the very point you¡¯re standing at.


    Most people don¡¯t notice that until they¡¯ve left compulsory education, however Tiran was forcibly made aware of these options at a young age. Whether he fully grasped what they were or not his eyes were forcibly opened to the myriad paths that stood before him, and after seeing where each one lead and the happiness that awaited him down them he was paralyzed.


    What if he chose one and ended up not happy? What if in the end there was a better path to choose? Which one should he even choose? Rather than a simple question with a binary right and wrong answer for the first time in his life Tiran was confronted for a question with no ¡°right¡± answer. Not only that, but as he froze up with indecision options that were becoming less likely or were on a time schedule were slowly disappearing before his very eyes.


    That was the true problem facing Tiran Ulrich. Not any silly thing like killing his future self or killing his own future happiness, after all¡­


    ¡°After all, all those future yous you¡¯re trying to protect ultimately are still you. Without a doubt they are Tiran Ulrich, each and every one of them.¡±


    ¡°Of course they are¡­ but¡­¡±


    ¡°And since indeed they are, the only way you could kill them is if you were to kill yourself right here and now. As long as you are alive they will continue to live on alongside you.¡±


    Small dark splotches began to spatter the sidewalk we were standing on as large streaks of rain began to fall from the sky and far off in the distance thunder echoed over the vast sea.


    The soft patter of rain began to fill the air, like white noise as the two of us maintained our distance from each other.


    I could tell from the quiet Tiran¡¯s mind was racing, from the very depths of his being he wanted to disagree. From sheer stubbornness born of opposition he wanted to rail against me, to throw my words back in my face. But he couldn¡¯t, they all made too much sense.


    As much of an emotional trainwreck the kid was, he was by no means stupid. Cold logic cuts through emotion rather easily, and even if it didn¡¯t take effect now once he was calm he¡¯d realize it. Until then I just needed to mercilessly cut down each and every one of his actions, to make him flail about like a spoiled child until he wore himself out.


    ¡°But...but there has to be meaning in it¡­ there has to be meaning in me seeing the future like this! Otherwise why would it exist? Why would I have it!?¡±


    ¡°Sorry to break it to you kid but there is none. In life things happen for no reason other than because they can happen. No one is born with a destined goal or talent, everything we are given by life is from our own efforts or from pure blind chance.¡±


    ¡°But that¡­ It HAS to have been to see this! To see something!? To choose the best option¡­¡±


    ¡°In life there is no best option, everything has a price. Everything has a negative side, we just don¡¯t often see it until much later.¡±


    ¡°But I¡­¡±


    ¡°Tiran, can you consciously affect what you see? Can you alter the outcomes of your visions?¡±


    ¡°No but I-¡±


    ¡°Then we¡¯re the same, you and me. If things did work out the way you said, then in this world everyone is a murderer. Everyone is guilty of the sin you claim to carry on your back, everyone bears that cross, and in the end you¡¯re still the same as everyone else.¡±


    ¡°No that¡¯s not¡­¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong? No need to be shy, we¡¯re both murderers here.¡±


    ¡°No! You¡¯re not¡­¡±


    ¡°Nothing changes regardless, in the end you¡¯re only alone because you chose to be. In the end the only distinction between yourself and everyone else is the one you chose to see. In the end this problem was born from you and your own perception of the world around you.¡±


    With the spotlight shining down upon him even with the obscuring rain I could see the confliction on his face. That unseen force that had been sabotaging him had turned out to be nothing more than himself. Even if he hadn¡¯t realized it yet he was on the right track.


    We stood in silence as the rain started to pick up creating a curtain of white streaks, both of us must¡¯ve been feeling frozen to our very cores but neither of us bothered to move.


    Finally I could see the fight and opposition start to slowly drain out of his figure and he slowly sank to the ground as all the tension began to leave his body.


    Heaving a sigh I slowly closed the distance between us, stepping out of my own spotlight and crossing the darkened stage until I was sharing his.


    ¡°So what should I do?¡±


    HIs voice was barely audible over the sound of the rain and the grumble of the ocean waves. Heaving another sigh I leaned down to where he was kneeling ¡°What was that kid?¡±


    ¡°I said what should I do? I don¡¯t know where to go what path I should choose or what I want¡­ I don¡¯t want to waste all these other options laid out before me¡­¡±


    ¡°Do whatever you want, pick whatever strikes your fancy and merrily skip down that path like it¡¯s some kind of yellow brick road.¡±


    ¡°But what if I don¡¯t want to do that? What if it would¡¯ve been better if I¡¯d chosen a different path, what if I¡¯d really been happier doing something else?¡±


    ¡°Then do something else. If you have the power to make a ¡®life changing decision¡¯ once, nothing says you can¡¯t just make another one if that last one didn¡¯t work out and another one of that one doesn¡¯t suit your fancy either.¡±


    ¡°But what if I fail.¡±


    ¡°Kid, the only time you fail is if you admit it. As long as you continue pursuing the path you want one way or another you¡¯ll end up there.¡±


    It all felt profoundly hypocritical of me to say, all this talk of not giving up and finding your way in life. But I suppose it wasn¡¯t something someone else could say and mean. Rather these words I was so hypocritically bestowing upon him were born from the sincerest wish that in the end they¡¯d be true for both of us.


    ¡°But I¡­ I don¡¯t think I can live up to that standard. I look and see how dazzling things can be and how everything is now¡­ and I just don¡¯t think I can live up to that¡­¡±


    ¡°Tiran, what was the reason you chose our bar?¡±


    ¡°I told you.¡±


    ¡°I mean the real reason. I refuse to believe you¡¯re stupid enough to think just staying there would solve all your problems.¡±


    ¡°...¡±


    Another silence, we were both soaked to the bone and the rain and wind were only getting stronger.


    ¡°Because it sounded fun.¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah?¡±


    ¡°Every time I¡¯d walk by I¡¯d hear you and Boss, at first I was worried since it seemed like you two were always fighting but... in the end it looked like so much fun. I¡­ I wanted something like that¡­ I wanted to become a part of that.¡±


    Even as Tiran had told himself it was for the greater good to isolate himself, even as he told himself it was better for everyone that he was alone, even so he still yearned for a place to belong. Although that loneliness was a product of his own actions he still couldn¡¯t help but yearn for people to spend his days with.


    In the end under this pouring rain, the both of us must¡¯ve looked pretty pathetic.


    ¡°Then just do that.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± Finally he looked up, meeting my eyes for the first time since he¡¯d sunken to the ground.


    ¡°Do whatever seems like fun.¡±


    ¡°But what about this power¡­? I have a responsibility to-¡±


    ¡°Fuck responsibilities. Fuck the future. It doesn¡¯t matter what you could be, just do what you think is fun, what you think is interesting, as long as in the end you¡¯re happy. Focus on shaping who you are now, so that when the time comes you¡¯ll be ready to take those steps into the future.¡±


    ¡°Is that anything to say to a kid¡­¡± A small smile had crossed Tiran¡¯s face as he began wiping at his eyes, ¡°Mei you¡¯re a terrible role model.¡±


    Well, he had me there.


    ¡°Hey Mei?¡±


    ¡°Yeah?¡±


    ¡°What if I still can¡¯t think of anything. I¡¯ve never had many friends and I¡¯m a stupid shy boring person¡­ what if things never change.¡±


    ¡°Here.¡± I held out the umbrella Boss had given me.


    ¡°Take this and go home and think on that. I¡¯ll be expecting you to return it tomorrow so at the very least you can¡¯t go disappearing on me until you¡¯ve done that. I¡¯ll be expecting you at the bar at your usual time.¡±


    Slowly he he reached up and wrapped both of his arms around the umbrella, almost gently like he were hugging a child.


    ¡°Is it really okay?¡±


    ¡°Of course, as long as you return it it should be fine.¡±


    ¡°No, I mean to live for a reason as insignificant as that.¡±


    ¡°Of course it is.Obligations between friends are important after all. Just keep thinking of small things you want to do, or small things you have to do, keep those in mind until eventually you find the thing that you¡¯ve been waiting for.¡±


    In the end this was the best I could do, my situation was far more complicated compared to his. Even if I couldn¡¯t embody those words I¡¯d parroted at him, even if I couldn¡¯t use this encounter to find a bit of my own salvation, I could still pass on the words he had told me that night.


    I could still impart to Tiran the words I had been given to put me on the path I was walking today.


    Honestly, what a sly man. Even as much as he talked about his own selfish sense of justice he still had undeniably saddled me with a debt I¡¯d never be able to repay.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go home, Tiran.¡±


    So with everything tied up into a neat bow we left the stage. The play was over, our fierce conflict resolved. There was nothing left to add to this short tale, but as with most things the best laid plans of men often go awry in the dead of night.


    As we were returning to the main road it happened,


    I guess you could call it irony or karma, or even fate. Whatever it was it took the form of a speeding truck heading right for us as we crossed a particularly dark side road.


    It was like an epiphany, one moment we were cutting our way through heavy rain and pitch blackness the next we were bathed in heavenly lights growing ever brighter.


    Those orbs of pure white bleached the darkness from our vision until we were surrounded by nothingness.


    Tiran had a look of surprise that was slowly becoming one of abject terror. For such a smart kid I guess he never really thought this whole thing through, whether it be your own, a friend, or a family member, death is a universally terrifying thing.


    Even me who has resigned herself to rotting away, even I can¡¯t help but find the idea terrifying enough to make myself sick. That is why it is what I deserve. For what I`ve done nothing less than the worst is appropriate.


    Maybe this was fate, finally come to collect its¡¯ due.


    For a second I could feel myself falling down that familiar negative path.


    But¡­


    Well¡­


    Tiran certainly didn¡¯t deserve this, and I¡¯m personally not a fan of dying with someone else, I¡¯d promised boss that honor after all. Who knows what kind of crap he¡¯d give me if reneged on our deal.


    Admittedly though, all of that was petty justification. Deep down I think I was scared too.


    Just like him.


    So what was there left to do about this situation?


    Jump out of the way? Push Tiran to safety? Pray to God?


    Any of those might have been a smarter choice but well, I guess you could say my instincts were taking over.


    That familiar feeling from my youth, that burning sensation that was radiating from my core.


    It really was a nostalgic feeling.


    It¡¯s like I always say,


    if there¡¯s a wall in my way I¡¯d sooner tear it down with my own two fists than go around. If there¡¯s a sea in my path I¡¯d rather swim across it even if I might drown. If there¡¯s a person whose existence is tantamount to the word ¡°chosen¡± that crosses my path then I¡¯ll drag them down to my level if I have to.


    And if there¡¯s a truck barreling down a narrow street at me well¡­


    The resulting sound was loud enough to eclipse the wind and thunder of the storm.


    The curtain of rain was forced outward from where the two of us were, creating a brief dry pocket before once again rain filled that void.


    Tiran had fallen flat on his butt, eyes wide as saucers.


    And that fate that had come barreling out of nowhere? Well it¡¯s nose was buried deep into the concrete, dented body, shattered glass, it was standing almost perpendicularly to the ground.


    What I¡¯d done was simple. The simplest thing you could do.


    I planted my left foot, and swung my right foot up in a circular motion over my head, then brought my heel down directly onto the hood of that truck.


    Simple, easy,  effective.


    The rain returned to drenching our beleaguered forms, and a few moments passed before Tiran finally spoke.


    ¡°Mei you¡¯re¡­¡±


    ¡°I told you didn¡¯t I kid? You¡¯re not that special, lots of people can do lots of things.¡±


    He stared at me in shocked awe.


    ¡°Now I don¡¯t know about you, but I don¡¯t really have the money to cover this kind of crash¡­¡±


    I grabbed his hand, snapping him out of his stupor.


    ¡°Time to go!¡±


    And as the two of us ran like criminals in the night, whether from relief or adrenaline Tiran couldn¡¯t help but laugh. Red faced and out of breath he laughed as the wind carried away his voice.


    Almost like that thing that had lain stagnant within him was forcing its way out of him to join the storm that wrapped itself around us.


    As for the question of whether this did any good, well...


    I suppose only time will tell.

 Epilogue

    I ended up having to call a taxi, it was around three am and the rain was coming down in torrents making the already dark night seem impenetrable. The buses had long since stopped running and even the bar was a good few miles away.


    I had a feeling the taxi driver was glaring at us the whole ride, I can¡¯t say I blame him though. The two of us were shivering and soaked to the bone, to make matters worse Tiran was still clutching the umbrella I¡¯d given him. I can just hear his thoughts, ¡°If you damn kids had an umbrella why didn¡¯t you use it!?¡±


    Ha ha ha, sorry mr.taxi driver¡­


    We dropped Tiran off at his house and then me at my apartment complex. The price for it all was pretty steep and I swear he charged me extra for leaving a puddle of water in his back seat. It couldn¡¯t be helped though, it¡¯s as they say no good deed goes unpunished.


    After heading inside I immediately changed and threw my soaked clothes and coat into the washer and then the dryer.


    As I waited quietly listening to the hum of the dryer and the roar of the rain outside I let my thoughts slip back on the events of this past night.


    In the end I¡¯d acted without thinking and then pushed straight through and somehow came out on the other side.


    The more things changed the more they stayed the same I suppose. Then again I guess that¡¯s just the kind of person I am.


    As we had waited Tiran had been rather flustered, going on about the whole ¡°we¡¯re both murderers¡± phrase I¡¯d used. I¡¯d meant just to shock him with it but he seemed to think he¡¯d insulted me somehow.


    Poor kid had no clue.


    It was nice for a while to share the company of a fellow murderer. Oh well, this is how it should be. Regardless of what you do there are some things that can never be fixed. I know that more than anyone. In the end I suppose that¡¯s what drew me to Tiran. In that regard I suppose he was lucky things turned out the way they did.


    Now it was up to him what he¡¯d do.


    If he decided things were still too much then there was nothing I could do. You can¡¯t force a person to live, but you can give them a chance to.


    In all honesty that cheesey talk about the future and opportunities was akin to pouring salt in old wounds for me. I gave up my future back then, just like how I forfeited my right to be happy. All I have is the present.


    I suppose in the end I followed through on all this because I didn¡¯t want to see anyone else make the same mistakes I had.


    My brain wanted to continue thinking about things, about the past and present, about people here and gone but my body was on the brink of exhaustion. I¡¯d gotten my second wind at the diner but there still was the fact I hadn¡¯t gotten a good night¡¯s rest last night.


    All the exhaustion from the evening was finally catching up to me, and I ended up just dropping my clothes on the floor and passing out on my bed. Welcoming the dreamless sleep I was so accustomed to.


    I woke up to my alarm blaring that familiar catchy rock song. I still couldn¡¯t remember where I¡¯d first heard it but nevertheless I liked it. Turning it off I came to the unfortunate realization that I was ravenously hungry. Come to think of it I¡¯d only had one meal yesterday.


    ¡°Damn you past me, why can¡¯t you be more responsible.¡± I muttered at the unpleasant feeling like my stomach had been completely hollowed out in my sleep.


    So it was that I had my normal breakfast, two pieces of toast, two eggs, and four strips of bacon before heading out and catching my bus.


    Disembarking at that familiar corner of Lily and fourth I took in that nostalgic scenery. Even with the rain pouring down the vastness of the ocean still hit me as usual. But well, I¡¯d just spent an entire night lecturing a kid about this kind of thing didn¡¯t I? What kind of lame adult would I be if I let myself get caught up in these twisted feelings that wrapped themselves around my heart?


    There are levels of hypocrisy even I would rather avoid. So I tore myself away from the the stormy gray blue void in front of me and hurried my way down the familiar path.


    ¡°And now you¡¯re on time? Jeez Mei just when I thought I¡¯d got you all figured out you go and throw me for a loop these past three days.¡± Came Boss¡¯ greeting as I opened the door to the bar.Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    ¡°Hey wait, where the hell¡¯s my umbrella?¡±


    ¡°Sorry, don¡¯t got it on me right now, was that one worth four hundred dollars too?¡±


    ¡°Tch like I¡¯d pay that much for a damn umbrella.¡±


    Yet he¡¯d do that for sunglasses? Christ this guy¡­


    Jirard was there as usual patiently waiting for the bar to open, looking up as I entered he gave me a soft smile.


    ¡°Boss said you weren¡¯t feeling well yesterday, if that¡¯s the case you really should call in. However I¡¯m happy to see you¡¯re doing better today.¡±


    ¡°My bad I¡¯m sorry, my head was all messed up yesterday. I¡¯ll be sure to do that next time I¡¯m not feeling well.¡±


    ¡°Hey hey hey who do you think owns this bar? Apologize to me too?¡±


    ¡°Why? It¡¯s not like you contribute anything to this place, if anything why don¡¯t you just apologize to Jirard too for being so lazy.¡±


    ¡°Oy oy did you hear that Jirard? Kids these days I swear¡­¡± Boss said with a huff and pretending to sulk.


    Before I could enter the break room Boss stopped me.


    ¡°Did you settle things?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t really know. It¡¯s up to him I suppose. All I did was point him in a different direction.¡±


    ¡°Hah, I like that. So Mei, what drove you to help him? Why bother in the first place.¡±


    ¡°I told you didn¡¯t I, I did it for myself. I couldn¡¯t stand the sight of him like that, so I intervened for my own sake.¡±


    ¡°Oh really, quite the cold cucumber now are we?¡±


    ¡°Hah look who¡¯s talking. All I did was take a page from your book.¡±


    So it was that after I changed and headed out of the break room there was a familiar face waiting for me.


    ¡°I brought your umbrella.¡± Tiran said, his voice was still quiet but it seemed like he was at least making an effort to speak up. He was carrying a backpack this time, it looked rather heavy, maybe he was studying before coming here.


    ¡°It¡¯s Boss¡¯ but thanks, you can leave it by the door.¡±


    ¡°Hey no, if he does that someone might steal it.¡± Boss interjected from where he had his face buried in his newspaper ¡°At least put it in the corner of the room kid.¡±


    Tiran nodded before approaching where I was standing at the end of the bar.


    ¡°I did a lot of thinking last night, I thought and I thought but I still couldn¡¯t find the answer.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s fine, if it was easy then you probably would¡¯ve solved things a long time ago yourself.¡±


    ¡°Yeah.. so that¡¯s why¡­¡± Suddenly he turned on his heel to address Jirard. ¡°Sir could I have one orange juice please?¡±


    ¡°Tiran, I told you before-¡±


    ¡°I know, but I think this is worth it. Could you put it on my tab?¡±


    ¡°Oy kid your tab?¡± Boss slammed his paper on the counter and stood up. ¡°You¡¯re really testing my patience you know, I already told you I wouldn¡¯t serve you.¡±


    ¡°When do you collect your tabs?¡±


    ¡°Ugh, we don¡¯t really get anyone with a tab but the end of the month. Why?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll come back at the end of the month to pay it off. Then I¡¯ll order another orange juice and put it on my tab for the next month.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help but snicker a little at this. I know I¡¯d told him to try and find something small that he had to do, but this was a little silly.


    ¡°Ugh Mei, do something about this kid¡­¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t see what the problem is Boss? If he¡¯s buying juice and stays away from the bar then it should be fine. We need the customers anyway right?¡±


    Boss shot me a dirty look, and the scowl on his face seemed to scream ¡°traitor¡±


    ¡°Look I know I told you I hired you to attract more customers but this wasn¡¯t what I had in mind!¡±


    ¡°What? I don¡¯t see anything wrong with him, what about you Jirard?¡±


    ¡°Seems perfectly fine to me.¡±


    ¡°The kid can¡¯t even buy alcohol!¡±


    ¡°When I come of age I will.¡± Came an unexpected response from the corner of the room where Tiran was putting the umbrella down before sitting in his usual spot.


    ¡°On the day of my birthday I¡¯ll come here and buy a glass.¡±


    Boss finally gave a sigh of defeat, neither me nor Jirard were helping him with this and he didn¡¯t have the will to fight the three of us. ¡°Alright alright, but you better damn well promise.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help but see a hint of a smile as he plunked back down on his chair and picked up his newspaper. I was about to go prod him when Jirard gave a well mannered cough.


    ¡°Yeah? What¡¯s up?¡±


    ¡°Mei, it seems like one of your regulars is here.¡± He said with a sly grin hidden beneath his well trimmed moustache. ¡°You should be sure to greet him properly.¡±


    With that he slid me a glass of orange juice.


    Ha!


    It was just like him to do things like that.


    ¡°Heya kid! I¡¯ve been expecting you. Hope your mom didn¡¯t yell too loud at you last night.¡± I said bringing him his drink and placing it next to a text book he¡¯d pulled out of his backpack.


    ¡°Well she wasn¡¯t happy, that¡¯s for sure¡­¡±


    ¡°Mei aren¡¯t you forgetting something?¡± Boss yelled back at me from where he was sitting. ¡°If you¡¯re gonna greet a customer you gotta do it right.¡±


    ¡°Yeah yeah get off me Boss¡± I yelled back at him before turning to Tiran.


    And with a smile on my face, I greeted my very first customer with all my heart.


    ¡°Welcome to the Devil¡¯s Solace Tiran, I¡¯m glad you stopped by.¡±

 Authors note and reflection on Kaleidoscope End

    Thus concludes my first ¡±completed¡± story. I use quotes for completed because honesty I have been toying with continuing this series with another short story...or novella I suppose. This work has taught me something valuable, and  that is that I cannot write long stories. I¡¯m far too capricious of a human being. The dedication and motivation to patiently wait for all your plots on the horizon is too far beyond me. I suppose as a human being I have a lot of room for growth. When I wrote Dolls I did so with an entire intricate plot planned out, and then got tired of waiting for it to happen...that¡¯s why for Kaleidoscope I wanted to simply have fun with it, and that honestly is why it got as far as it did.


    Kaleidoscope itself was inspired by a certain series, I¡¯m sure most of you can guess it. I love the way that series twists traditional story morals to be more relevant and up to date. It inspired me to try something similar. With Dolls my concept was a hero who is only one because she is forced to be. A deconstruction of the stereotypical save everyone hero. For Kaleidoscope it was displaying the kind of shell shock you experience when choosing a life path using precognition as a kind of heavy handed metaphor.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    I was in a place at the time where I could heavily relate to those themes, so I think that¡¯s a heavy factor of what made the story what it was. So much so that going back now that part of my life is over and editing the series I just couldn¡¯t recapture that and feeling.


    I had a lot of fun writing the dialogue for this one, and I hope it shows. With Dolls the main character was very anti social, and so I never got to let loose and have fun with it. So this was a breath of fresh air, lots of the dialogue basically wrote itself.


    The ending was the hardest part, originally I ended it without the final clash with fate but. In all honesty it felt like an anticlimax. I¡¯d been deliberately vague about whether extra normal powers existed, and ending it without that scene just left everything in kind of a vague place. Not to mention the pay off to Mei''s mantra of how she takes everything head on wasn¡¯t properly paid off. It feels very sudden, but I hope it created a satisfying climax to this short story.


    To anyone who bothered to read this far, thank you very much and to everyone who read this story you have my sincerest gratitude. I hope this story gave you guys some enjoyment as you passed the time with me.  Until next time.