《Another You》


 When Hearts Cry

    Chapter One: When Hearts Cry


    POV: Jun


    Quantum physics is one of those things you can¡¯t really take your attention away from longer than a second. Unfortunately I had quite the bad habit, it¡¯s called the group chat. My phone buzzes away in my hands. Everytime I put it down it buzzes as if to call my name. My professor begins to notice this ever so slight but obvious distraction. He looks at me as if to motion for me to take it another place. Just as I¡¯m about to put the phone down a message comes through that I have to answer. By now my professor is on the verge on dropping me from the class.


    Makoto: Koshin, we all want to meet up after class to meet Jun¡¯s new Girl friend. Jun seems to really want us to.


    Me: Sure, we can do that. I¡¯m free after class today. I¡¯ll have to run home first.


    Makoto: I¡¯ll meet you there.


    I put my phone down and think about our plans for tonight. My teacher seems at the slightest bit a little relieved that I¡¯m at least not on my phone. Little did he know I was a master of getting lost in thought. Minute by minute goes by, I swear time is against me. I tend to just forget it all anyway. I just want to be back at my apartment. And before long my prayer is heard. Even better, this was my last class for the day. I text Makoto that I¡¯m on my way home and leisurely make my way toward the apartment complex.


    30 minutes later I arrive to my front door and take my shoes off. The smell of the air conditioner is a welcomed one with how hot today was. I walk down the hallway and past the kitchen to my bed. Not even bothering to change my clothes I slam onto the bed. Putting my head under the covers would have made no difference as the curtains in my apartment stayed forever closed. I can¡¯t remember the last time I saw it with the curtains open. I tend to just spend the night with Makoto. She doesn¡¯t like being alone at night. In the midst of my thought I¡¯m interrupted by a buzz. ¡°I¡¯ll be over in a few. - Makoto¡± I look around at the place and I would fail a quiz on what material my own floor was made of. Just as quickly as I slammed onto the bed I jump to my feet. We don¡¯t usually come here.


    Moments later I hear a knock on the door and I couldn¡¯t tell you how but I managed to get everything relatively clean. As I make my way to the door I try and guess what the first thing Makoto will say to me is. Probably something sarcastic if I had to put my life on it. ¡°I¡¯m coming, I¡¯m coming.¡± I exclaim loudly.


    M: Not fast enough.


    ¡°What do you want from me? I said I¡¯m coming.¡±


    As I turn the latch Makoto comes in slowly and takes off her shoes.


    M: I haven¡¯t been in here in a while.


    ¡°I know, I¡¯m hardly ever home anymore.¡±


    She puts her hands on my face and pulls me closer. Her lips touch mine and lock and for a few seconds everything is silent. Slowly her lips leave mine as she looks at me. I wasn¡¯t sure what to say or do. Instead I just stand in my silence.


    She puts her head on my chest and hugs me.


    She walks over and opens the curtains to allow some light into the room. She lets out a big sigh and sits on the bed.


    M: We still have a couple of hours before we need to meet Jun.


    ¡°Truthfully I had forgotten about that.¡±


    M: Come here, come sit with me.


    I walk over to the bed and sit next to her. Her orange hair flowing with my falling. The room was as silent as ever. I get up to close the curtains and return to the bed.


    M: I opened that on purpose.


    ¡°I like it closed, it¡¯s hot outside¡±


    M: Fair enough, I¡¯ll set an alarm.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.


    She puts her phone down and looks at me. In the silence of the room she grabs my head and puts it gently in her lap.


    M: Right where you belong.


    ¡°I¡¯m so tired, class was so long today.¡±


    M: You mean that physics class you never pay attention to?


    ¡°I pay attention when there¡¯s no group chat.¡±


    M: Okay.


    Time passes ever so slowly, minute by minute passed. Her fingers never leaving my hair. She eventually lays down beside me. Her blue eyes staring right through me. Sooner than later her eyes start to close. ¡°What was she thinking of?¡± I wondered. ¡°Was she really in love with me?¡± ¡°Does she want me to be in love with her?¡± In the middle of my thoughts my eyes do the same.


    I wake up in the dark room a while later to Her alarm going off. She had managed to slide in between my arms. As I sit up I call her name multiple times. Little known fact Makoto has the stubbornness of a boulder when it comes to sleep. It¡¯d be easier to try and get me to pay attention in class. The dark room doesn¡¯t make my efforts of waking her any easier. As if it wasn¡¯t dark enough before now the sun had started to set. In a final attempt to wake her I call her name.


    M: It¡¯s already time to go?


    ¡°Yeah, It¡¯s getting late.¡±


    M: Give me just a minute.


    She walks over to the bathroom and shuts the door gently behind her. Shortly after I hear the shower turn on and a faint humming. I rollout from under the covers and put my feet on the cold floor. As I stumble towards the bathroom I can smell the scent of shampoo. I open the door and see Makoto standing in the shower. Her long orange hair covering the front of her chest.


    M: Did you want to knock?


    ¡°This is my house.¡±


    ¡°Might as well be ours.¡±


    ¡°We need to hurry, it¡¯s all the way across town.


    M: I¡¯m almost done.


    She quickly steps out of the shower and dries her body with the towel on the rack.


    M: Are you ready?


    ¡°Almost, let me brush my teeth.¡±


    M: We¡¯re about to go out to eat.


    ¡°I know that.¡±


    A few minutes pass and we leave the house. As we make our way down the stairs I start to think about who could possibly be dating Jun. We all go back since middle school. I soon think back to when we met.


    Jun and I I sat next to each other our 7th grade year. One day our teacher announced we''d be having a new classmate. A short orange haired girl walks shyly up to the front of the class.


    Teacher: Class this is Makoto Shinje. She¡¯s from Furukawa, she¡¯ll be joining us for the rest of the year.


    ¡°I wonder who she is.¡±


    J: I bet she¡¯s weird.


    ¡°She looks quiet.¡±


    J: She¡¯s kind of cute.


    I look at him and laugh. Jun never even so much as mentioned girls, they always avoided him. Before I know it the quiet girl is told to sit in front of me. Her uniform being slightly too big. For the first few weeks she never really spoke. Only answering when she was called on and only spoke when spoken to. Makoto would eat by herself, walk by herself, I never really saw her with anyone. One day we were walking down the hallway and we heard the sound of books dropping. Jun and I look at each other wondering what it could be. Moment¡¯s later we hear what sounds like struggling and run towards it. On the floor in the corner was Makoto with blood dripping from her nose. As I looked to my left I could see her belongings scattered aimlessly across the floor. Two boys from the class over were standing over her in an ill manner. They were asking repeatedly why she didn¡¯t talk and why she was always alone. Makoto looks up at them and utters nothing but silence. A few more moments pass and she notices us standing in shock around the corner. Jun and I make our way to the corner and the boys who were previously tormenting her seemed to act as if nothing happened. They quickly make their exit. Makoto who was still on the floor began crying. As she wipes the tears from her face Jun and I help gather her things. As the tears continue to run down her face she grabs a tissue from her bag.


    J: Are you okay?


    Makoto shrugs her shoulders as if to hold back even more tears.


    M: I think I¡¯m okay.


    ¡°Don¡¯t mind them, they¡¯re just like that. I¡¯ll walk you home today.¡±


    Jun picks up the last of her books and hands them to me. I tell Jun that I¡¯ll see him later and help her off of the ground. As we start to make our way down the street, surprisingly she speaks to me.


    M: Thank you for walking me home.


    ¡°Of course I wasn¡¯t going to let you walk home alone.¡±


    The majority of the walk maintained a constant stream of silence with small talk pitched here and there. That is until we made our way through the shopping district and something caught her eye. Makoto¡¯s eyes light up like stars at the sign of a small pink bracelet. I barely knew her but she was having a bad day, so I pull out 200 yen and hand it to the shop keep. She slips the small sparkly pink bracelet on her left arm as if it¡¯s the best thing she¡¯d ever received. With the sincerest eyes known to man she looks at me.


    M: Thank you.


    ¡°My name is Koshin, and my friend from before, his name is Jun.¡±


    M: I know your names, I sit directly in front of you.


    ¡°Well you never really talk to anyone.¡±


    M: I¡¯m not very talkative, my foster parents are very strict.


    ¡°You¡¯re adopted?¡±


    M: I don¡¯t know my real parents.


    I decide that it wouldn''t be very wise for me to persist with any questions.


    ¡°Well Jun and I are always looking for a third.¡±


    She smiles with excitement as we continue our walk.


    As the years passed we 3 became the closest of friends. All throughout high school and eventually to college. We all moved into our own places and got our own jobs. Moving to Yamagata was scary at first, but I like the other 2 in my group adjusted quite quickly. We decided that staying together was the best thing for us to do. I would often spend the night with Makoto. It was so often that she had a key to my apartment and I to hers. Jun would also stop by quite often after class to catch up. Generally we walked home together as his apartment was only 3 blocks away. Makoto lives a few kilometers up the road so she would often just stay over. She was my rock growing up, always there when I needed her.

 Mai Very Own

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

 Elephant In The Dark Room

    Mai walks over and turns the light off, everything goes pitch black. The only light coming from the closed curtains. She walks out onto the balcony and pulls two chairs close together. Still sitting on the bed dumbfounded I stand up and walk towards the door. I can feel the cool air of the summer night blowing against me. I sit down in the chair next to her and she gives a sigh of relief.


    Mai: This is my favorite thing to do. No one can bug me. I still can¡¯t believe that Jun told you we were dating.


    ¡°It¡¯s not like him to lie, it must have been a special reason. Maybe he truly thought you were.¡±


    Mai: I told him that it wasn¡¯t like that. I don¡¯t see him like that, I made that clear.


    ¡°You seem bothered by it.¡±


    Mai: Well I didn¡¯t want anyone to get the wrong idea.


    ¡°Funny you might say that.¡±


    Mai: well, what about Makoto? She seems to think you¡¯re dating.


    ¡°I care about her, but I don¡¯t see her in that way. Not as much as I¡¯d need to anyway. We were more like siblings growing up. She lived with us since the 7th grade. It¡¯s not that I don¡¯t love her like that, I just can¡¯t bring myself to acknowledge that.¡±


    Mai: Sounds troubling, maybe it¡¯s the prospect of her loving you but you not loving her back that stops you from being upfront.


    ¡°You¡¯re completely right, and that¡¯s how it¡¯s been for years. It¡¯s easier to just ignore it for now. Anyway, where are you from?¡±


    Mai: I¡¯m from a place that I don¡¯t want to talk about, and since you mention it I¡¯m sure you saw that photo on the counter inside. That¡¯s my mother, she was the only one I really had, and now she¡¯s gone. I¡¯m not really that sad though. We knew the cancer was going to spread. So we just tried to spend all our time with her. But I for some reason didn¡¯t, after she got sick I distanced myself from her. It was so painful to slowly watch her lose everything she was. She was always sick, couldn¡¯t walk after a point, could barely speak. That¡¯s not how I wanted to remember her. So I just stopped showing up. I even moved here to get away, and now here I am. I saw her one last time when she was taking her final breath. Something in me broke that day.


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t feel badly for that, you were just doing what you knew. And honestly we all go someday, it¡¯s not easy to deal with. I lost my mother 2 years ago and I did almost the same thing. Makoto was the one that was there by her side when she was dying, not me.¡±


    Mai: Koshin let me tell you something, don¡¯t let that be the reason you force yourself, because you will never be happy.


    She reaches over and kisses my forehead. I would never have expected that from her. Her lips felt so warm against my face. The smell of her hair trailing behind her. As she reaches back, even under the dim moonlight I could tell she was turning red. Dumbfounded I just sat there, her cold blue eyes had warmed my insides this time around.


    ¡°What was that?¡±


    She quiets my lips with hers, the feeling of them sending me into a daze. I could feel every twitch in her being. She stands up and pulls me closer to her. Her lips never leaving mine. She pulls me inside to the bed and lays on top of me. Her weight felt like nothing compared to mine. She was smaller than makoto, by a large amount. She runs her fingers through my hair a she kisses me. The door to the balcony letting in cold air. It was like something out of a movie. I put my hands on her hips and move her closer to me. She takes off her shirt and pants and continues to kiss me. Eventually things were about to escalate. There she was, this girl I just met, naked in front of me. For some reason this felt good, maybe it was the frustration I was holding in over makoto. This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    Mai: Be gentle.


    As i start to go my phone buzzes. A message from makoto pops up on my phone reading ¡°Sorry I forgot to text you, Jun and I are here with everyone else. Where are you?¡± Instantly a wave of regret comes over me. I push Mai off of me gently and sit at the edge if the bed.


    Mai: It¡¯s okay, I understand.


    She sits against my back with her bare skin.


    ¡°I can¡¯t, I just can¡¯t do that to her.¡±


    Mai: Koshin I don¡¯t want you to worry, I¡¯m right here.


    Her skin felt so comforting against my back. She pulls me over lays me on her chest. I remember a million things rushing through my mind. The number one though was how Makoto would have felt if she had known. Still, this felt right for once. Laying here with someone else. I wasn¡¯t sure what I was feeling. Being sleepy I eventually doze off with Mai following shortly behind me. The whole night she wrapped herself around me, she didn¡¯t let me go.


    The night was long but comforting. She slept when I slept and woke up when I did. We had conversations about we thought love was and how we knew when we¡¯d found it. We also talked about my issues with Makoto, but eventually the sun started to show through the curtains. We woke up lazily one more time, her body still against mine. I sit up and put my shirt back on to stretch.


    Mai: How¡¯d you rest?


    ¡°Pretty well, I¡¯m glad you were with me.¡±


    She was laying with the blanket covering only up to her waist. Her long brown hair an undefinable mess. She was staring at the still open door, the room was fully lit at this point even though it was only about 7 am. Accompanied with the sun was the dreaded Japan heat. I walk over and shut the door to ease the pain of the air conditioner running in vein. Looking over my shoulder I almost call her Makoto. I pick my phone up and have missed calls from both Jun and Makoto. Guess I should give one of them a call back.


    Mai: Jun called me.


    ¡°Me too.¡±


    Mai: Several times¡­


    ¡°Me too¡­¡±


    Mai: Hope it wasn''t important.


    It wasn¡¯t like Jun to call so many times, along with Makoto¡¯s calls I became a bit worried. I hope they didn¡¯t think I came back with Mai. If Jun was willing to lie about them being on a date then i can just imagine what he would do if he knew I spent the night. I walk over to the sink and get something to drink. Mai sits up and put on her shirt.


    Mai: What are you off to do today?


    ¡°Well I don¡¯t have class so I¡¯ll probably just go back home and wait for one of them to text me.¡±


    Mai: You want me to come with you? Maybe we could do something.


    I start for the door and put my shoes on.


    Mai: WAIT! I have to get dressed!


    I give off a smile and continue putting my shoes on. Eventually she gets dressed and we walk out of the door. I hope no one I knows sees us walking out. I imagine that wouldn¡¯t go over well. The heat is causing my skin to sweat even this early in the morning. Mai walks beside me and with how talkative she¡¯s been you¡¯d never know she was the same person from last night.The city was still pretty quiet at this time. It made the walk seem to be much longer than usual. Eventually we get back to my apartment and I unlock the door and take off my shoes. I hand Mai a glass of water as she looks around the far less impressive apartment.


    Mai: Wow! This is so cute!


    ¡°It¡¯s really small, sorry.¡±


    Mai: Seriously! This is so cute!


    We walk over to the bed and sit. She sits beside me and lays down. Her brown hair layering the fabric around her. I stare at her face and think about how pretty she was. I think it just occurred to me but she was stunning. Part of me saw a beautiful girl, and the other saw Makoto. Not a comforting feeling.


    Mai: Why are you looking at me?


    She has a smile on her face.


    ¡°I just am. Anyway, what do you want to do today?¡±


    Mai: Whatever you want.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure, let me see what they might do.¡±


    At this moment I forgot I never told them that I got home last night. I unlock my phone and my heart drops. A message from makoto reading ¡°Why the hell is Jun telling me he saw you leaving Mai¡¯s house early this morning?¡±. I feel the anxiety in my chest skyrocket. No messages from Jun yet¡­ He must have seen me this morning. He probably came to check on her when neither of us texted them. Mai looks at my face and realizes something is wrong. Before I can find words to speak I hear the door unlocking. There¡¯s only one other person who has a key to that door besides me. Mai shoots up and before she can stand Makoto stands in front of us. I can tell she didn¡¯t come to hang out.


    M: What is she doing here?


    Mai: I just stopped by.


    I stood there paralyzed without an answer. I knew Makoto and I weren¡¯t together, but how was I going to explain this?