《Reality or Not》


 Chapter 1

    It was an early school morning in December when I first found her, in a dark alleyway near school. Her white silky hair was stained with dirt and soaked with meltwater, slowly stiffening up from the cold. Not only that, she was only clad in rags that freely let the cold grip her body and freeze her in place. Her eyes were closed like she was sleeping, her expression made me think she was having a nightmare. It was hard to understand at first but that made me feel sorry for her and thus I made the decision to help her out and carried her to my warm home.


    When I carried her into the living room she eased up and it seemed she was now sleeping in peace. My dad had gone to work and I could let the mysterious girl absorb some heat by the open furnace. I observed her curling up in the blanket I gave her, still asleep, and noticed her hair that seemed so silky before turn into a fluffy ball as it dried. Something about her reminded me of a small animal which made her seem a little unnatural, or more like supernatural, god forbid. Even thought she was so dirty she still smelled like sweet vanilla and berries. Her soft skin was also inhumanly pale and as smooth as a baby¡¯s. When her expression changed it also felt like the whole air around me changed and she started to radiate with a strange aura that provoked mysterious feelings within me, it somehow made me feel sentimental, almost nostalgic.


    The aura became more and more present the warmer she got and what really felt like the peak of it all was when I without a doubt saw two fox-like ears pop up on her head. In my state of further bewilderment, I saw her stretch out her arms over her head and let out high-pitch little noise, like she had woken up. I felt nervous to approach her from my position in the hallway and decided to leave her alone for a moment whilst I brought some food to show my good will. In the kitchen, which was the neighbouring room, I could hear her rustle around as I prepared some bread and a glass of milk. Somehow the bread and milk felt fitting for her, especially since she had animal ears on. As I slightly nervously brought the food over I thought of how I would approach her. It was fair to say that my experience so far had made me uncertain about her, something about her was just strange.


    Once I showed myself in the doorway my notions would prove accurate. She instantly peeked around the couch and looked at me. Her eyes looked like two huge rubies dramatically contrasting with her completely white skin and hair. The dark shade of red in her eyes was intimidating yet clearly telegraphing her fight or flight mind-set, just like a stare down with a wild beast. several minutes passed but she still didn¡¯t move a muscle, her eyes were completely locked on me. I didn¡¯t know what to do but to just stand there and wait for her to move.


    I used to have a cat when I was a kid and the strange girl in my living room strongly reminded me those days. If I moved I didn¡¯t know if she would start to panic and run in a random direction like my cat would or if she would attack me. She didn¡¯t seem that dangerous thought, her body was pretty much human and she wasn¡¯t even as tall as the average fifth grader.


    Several questions came to mind as I stood there with the bread and milk in hand. How would I communicate? Should I say something? Unlike my cat she could understand me, right? Although, her weird aura and the fact that she had huge red eyes and fox ears almost made me doubt she could speak. The noise she made earlier definitely didn''t sound human either. Maybe she was actually a fox in human form? Maybe she was some kind of fox spirit or god. I had read about those at the shrine but religion wasn¡¯t supposed to actually be true, that''s what father had taught me.


    All this mystery surrounding her made me confused. All my life I had relied on my father to show me what was real. Unlike for other children, my dad never read out stories for me when I was a kid because they didn¡¯t show the truth, only lies to cloud a humans mind. Instead he would read out the newspaper every night so that I would understand reality and not be fooled by fantasy.


    ¡°Everything in real life can make sense. If you are willing, you can see everything clearly. If you are strong, you can accept it.¡± Those were my father''s words and he had always lived by them and so was I. That¡¯s why he taught me at such an early age, so that I would be strong enough to accept what is real. If I just followed my father''s footsteps, I would be able to see the pale little girl clearly and realize what she really is.This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    She couldn¡¯t be supernatural, that was for sure since that would mean she wasn¡¯t real. Then, she must have been a real person, that was it! Maybe she was born with a strange condition that made her pale and coloured her eyes red, like an albino. Her ears must also have been a part of that. This is why she was in that dark alleyway all by herself. Because she was so weird that nobody wanted her. That would also explain why she made me feel weird, because she was weird herself!


    Armed with these thoughts I mustered up and crouched down to put the bread and milk on the floor. As I moved I noticed her flinch but she didn¡¯t go to any extreme. I slowly backed off after that and proceeded to once again observe her from the hallway.


    After a minute or two she began to creep closer to the plate which held the bread, she must have been hungry. She cautiously started to sniff the plate and the bread whilst cautiously looking around. Her movements were very smooth and animal like. It looked surprisingly natural despite her being just a slightly different human.


    After she finished sniffing and scouting she started to drink the milk out of the glass using her hands, just like a regular human. After drinking all the milk, she looked at the bread but she didn¡¯t seem interested, only licking it a little before retreating back to the couch.


    I felt proud over myself for being able to see it clearly and accept. Everything really was like father had told me. Now another problem presented itself, what should I do with her? She was just a little girl. Calling the police was probably the right thing to do. If the authorities took her in she would be able to be found if she was lost or she would be able to find a home if she was abandoned. After that I needed to explain to my father why I was absent from school. Surely he won''t mind since I took responsibility and saved a little girl.


    I quickly realized another problem however. The home- telephone was on the living room table, right next to the couch where the little girl was. ¡®It should be fine now¡¯ I thought and entered the living room. Once again she started to stare at me so I looked back at her, trying to seem as friendly as I could. What could she do? All I had to do was neutralize this tension she created and break the ice. Then I would be able to help her.


    I made my way closer and closer to the couch, still maintaining constant eye contact with the girl. I wondered why she was so skittish for a moment but I figured that most little girls would be cautious finding themselves in a stranger¡¯s home. I was now just a meter away from the couch. The girl had slithered to the other end of the couch to avoid me. Her eyes seemed to grow larger and larger the closer I got. They were almost starting to pierce me It felt like. Their shade also seemed to grow darker and darker. Something was different from last time however. Earlier her eyes seemed much more animal like. Filled with fear and intimidation. Now they were almost shaking, like she was confused or jarred. It was like she was surprised over the very fact that I could see her.


    When I was just a short leap away from her and it looked like her eyes were going to go completely dark I decided to try and talk to her. I introduced myself and asked for her name but got no answer. She just kept on staring at me with her dark red eyes. I continued to speak, asking a variety of different questions I thought would be relevant. I also tried to imitate that friendly tone adults used to use when talking to myself when I was smaller. That didn¡¯t seem to work either. She remained dead quiet and frozen in place at the end of the couch, wrapped in a blanket. I started to think of different ways I could communicate with her. Maybe I could try and show my intentions with gestures, gestures are like an international language. But, she didn¡¯t understand those either, it was probably my fault thought. She did seem to acknowledge them however. Nothing really changed thought so I decided I would just call the police and things would have to work out somehow. I reached for the phone on the table and started to dial in the number. I had never called the police before and it made me nervous but I had to show father I could deal with this situation myself.


    After just a few beeps someone picked up and asked what my emergency was. I fumbled a little but managed to convey that I had a lost girl in my household. The person on the other side answered and informed me that they would send someone over to take her in.


    I felt a little relieved after hanging up the phone. Now the problem was solved. Even if she didn¡¯t want to cooperate, it wasn¡¯t my issue anymore and I planned on just handing her over. I felt proud to have gotten through the situation by myself and couldn¡¯t wait to tell father about it.

 Chapter 2

    After a short breath I put the phone on the table again and looked back at the girl. She was still staring at me with her big ruby eyes. Those eyes really were something special I thought. They were so large, clear and shiny. I would¡¯ve called them magical if I hadn¡¯t been enlightened by my father. They were just as natural as I was, otherwise they couldn¡¯t exist. For a moment I started to gaze into her eyes and noticed something. The dark shade in them was slowly turning brighter. She also seemed to ease up. She almost looked like she was curious all of a sudden. The straining tension also faded and before I had not noticed but the mysterious change in the air was back. It had disappeared when she saw me earlier. I couldn¡¯t explain it but the air felt light and smooth somehow, like a warm breeze.


    Her aura had completely changed and I was left bewildered again not quite knowing what to think. She continued to defy my beliefs. I tried to explain for myself what was going on but was interrupted when she suddenly started to lean towards me, like she was trying to get a better look at me. She put one of her arms forwards and slowly started to creep closer. Her eyes were now brimming with curiosity. You could see it but also feel it. She inched right up to me and started to sniff my hand then she quickly moved around me and examined me from every angle. The smell of vanilla and berries surrounding her was also really strong and almost intoxicating.


    My best guess was that she suddenly got into a much better mood. Her weird appearance and smell must also be a part of why strange things were going on. I simply was not used to that person''s atmosphere. Dad had told me that sometimes things might seem unnatural but it''s just the brain being fooled because of an unusual situation. After all, change is supposed to be scary and the same thing goes for strange things. Our brains are just unfamiliar to what is going on and therefore we can¡¯t see properly. A strong person would be able adjust to this shortcoming in our mind quickly thought. I needed to work harder in order to become that strong and then I would be able to make sense of this in no time.


    The strange girl had situated herself in front of me on the floor while I had been indulged in thought. She seemed content. Her eyes were now bright and she was smiling. I thought nothing of it besides noticing her smile was a little contagious. But, I quickly realized that I didn¡¯t have time to loiter around. The police should be here soon and I had to make sure everything would go as smoothly as it could so I wouldn¡¯t unnecessarily bother the hard working people of the police force. It would probably have been the best if I was just ready to hand her over at the door. She didn¡¯t seem scared or hostile towards me at all anymore so I expected that it would be easy to just pick her up. So I crouched down to the floor again and looked at the little girl. She was still just smiling and toying with her hair. Without much concern I reached out and grabbed her under her arms and lifted her up in the air. She seemed to enjoy it and waved her arms about like she was a bird whilst making cute little noises. Her radiant eyes were for the first time not locked on me either, instead she was looking around the room from her new elevated angle with a big smile. The sounds that she made were also strangely soothing. They probably were just really cute.You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    I was still stood in the living room when I suddenly heard the doorbell ring. I thought that it must be the police so I went over to the hallway still holding the girl. But, as I was walking she managed to wiggle out of my hands and made a surprising leap over to my shoulder. Her agility was really something for her age. Hopefully, having her cling to my shoulders wouldn¡¯t make things inconvenient.


    The doorbell rang twice and I hurried to the door and opened. As I expected, there was two police officers standing outside. They greeted me and asked me to bring the girl. I thought it was strange at first. Couldn¡¯t they see her already? Maybe she was hiding her head behind my back. I could certainly feel her holding onto my shirt. With this in mind I reached around my back and tried to grab her. I got a hold on one of her feet and used that as leverage to pull her off my back. When I had her in front of me again, holding her under her arms, I looked at the officers again. They didn¡¯t look pleased. They looked more confused than anything. They asked me again to see the little girl which I thought was very strange. I was holding her up right in front of them. How could they not see her? I tried pushing her on to them despite the girl¡¯s protest. They could feel her, right? I certainly could...


    Nonetheless, no matter how much I emphasized her they just couldn''t take notice of her in any way. I was dumbstruck. The officers were now mad, scolding me for making a prank call. But what bothered me more was her in relation to them. How come she was real for me but not for them? Was she just in my head? Did I have a mental illness? Or maybe the police officers were wrong¡­? Maybe they had something wrong with their head and therefore they couldn¡¯t see her? They must have been made blind to reality. Just like father had told me most people were. That meant I was already strong enough to perceive a reality most people could not. Because those people were to weak and purposely chose to be blind, they purposely chose to not see this girl and they purposely made me look like I was in the wrong but when in reality I was the one who could see clearly. Father said that such a dilemma could happen when a strong person interacted with the weak and blind. It was the same kind of dilemma that came from arguing with an idiot. The idiot is to dumb to see that they are wrong and the weak and blind person is too weak and blind to see that their reality is wrong.


    It makes sense. I¡¯ve come one step closer to being that strong person I wanted to be. Father would certainly understand the predicament I have fallen into and he would help me out. Just when I thought this, coincidentally the police asked me where my father was. I answered with my newfound confidence and superiority that he was at work. The officers who now seemed more disgruntled asked me if I knew exactly where he worked or if they could reach him via phone. Before I answered I put the girl back on my shoulder which seem to evoke a strange reaction from the policemen. I then said that they could reach my father via his cell phone and that I had his number written down. Having the police talk with my father was what I wanted because then father could properly explain to these people that they had wrongly accused me. Everything was going to solve itself and I would be that much closer to becoming as strong as my father or even stronger.

 Chapter 3

    As the policemen made their call I was told to go sit in the living room. I thought that I might as well. No need to be a bother to the two officers even though I were leaps ahead of them already. The little girl was still clinging to me even when I sat down. It felt like she liked me. Not the like that you would find within romance and love but more of the ¡®attachment¡¯ sort of like. It was comparable to the affection that you would receive from a pet. She could actually be compared to a pet quite a lot. She was soft and cute and seemed to like toying with moving things, like a cat. She also had fox ears and didn¡¯t appear to be able to speak or understand language. Instead she made cute animal like noises when she reacted to something. I had never seen this kind of thing before. It must have been really rare for a person to be like this but I knew for sure that she was real. In fact, so real that the average person wasn¡¯t strong enough to even perceive her. She made me feel really good about myself because she was the living proof of my strength. I wondered if dad would let me keep her at home if the authorities were unable to take her in. She did behave like a pet after all.


    The call between my father and the police was turning out to be a long one and I felt restless. I just wanted matters to be solved already. I sighed and leaned back in the couch. The little girl seemed to take notice of my uneasiness. She looked at me with her bright-red eyes and proceeded to snuggle down beside me on the couch. It surprised me and made me uncomfortable at first but after a moment her warmth felt comforting and calmed me down. It felt the same as when my cat would cuddle up against me on the couch back in the days.


    After a couple of minutes one of the policemen came into the living room and walked up to the couch. He said that my father was on the way. After that he started asking me why I would prank call the police and if I knew the consequences. I answered only with what I knew, which was that I didn¡¯t make a prank call, the girl was leaning against me right there on the couch. but of course, the policeman didn¡¯t believe me. He still couldn¡¯t see her. He started going on and on about how wrong the thing I did was but I already knew that it was wrong and that I shouldn¡¯t do that kind of thing. That¡¯s why I had never done it or would ever do it. My father had already made a sure that I was a good boy. Since I was fully aware of this policeman¡¯s ignorance I chose to not go against him too much so that I would not cause trouble. I was already happy enough and soon father would come and explain. I did think it was weird he hadn¡¯t already done that. I guessed he wanted to go and do it in person to make sure he would get the point across. It might be expensive to talk long via telephone as well.


    Soon the officer would leave me again to go out and meet my father who had arrived. I could faintly hear their voices from inside. But not for long. The door was violently pushed open and I could hear loud footsteps coming towards the living room. I was scared. It wasn¡¯t dad being so angry right? Why would he be angry in the first place? I didn¡¯t have any time left to think before father stormed into the living room with his coat still on. He was furious and started to scold me. It just made me more confused and scared. Did he really know the situation? If he did, he wouldn¡¯t be so angry, right? The girl was right beside me, yet¡­ Why? Why was father mad at me? He said that the girl was the work of my fantasy. He said that I was just as bad as my mother, never being able to be realistic. Always in my own fantasy. He continued with asking if I would cause him grief after dying during some fantasy journey as well. At this point he was crying, he was completely in despair. I myself couldn¡¯t even speak. I didn¡¯t know what to say. Hadn¡¯t I always tried my best to follow his lead? When I said I saw a dragon flying in the sky when I was in second grade, he told me it wasn¡¯t real and that it was just in my imagination. I believed him and every time I thought I had seen something out of the ordinary I went and asked him if it was real or not. That way I learned what was real and what wasn¡¯t.


    As I was sitting dumbstruck trying to figure out what was going on my father looked me in the eyes, still sobbing. He asked me, ¡®She has red eyes and white hair, right?¡¯. I told him yes. Could he see her? I asked him if he could but he said he couldn¡¯t. Then I asked him how he knew. He then told me that my mother was always talking about a girl with big ruby eyes and long white hair when she was still alive. He started to cry even more when I asked him if the girl was real or not. It took him three minutes to answer. When he did, he went on about always playing a role and making up a hyper realistic ideology that would make me automatically disprove and deny anything that seemed out of place. Fantasy was the enemy he said.Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    Now, he had realized that it had not worked out the way he wanted it to. The ideology had backfired when I was directly exposed to something unnatural by myself. I had already started to incorporate things that was not real into my own reality. At the time it was so hard to understand my father''s words. I was immediately in denial. I started to think that my father was also weak. I was the strongest person. How could anyone else''s reality be more real than mine? No one else saw things as clearly as I did. My reality must have been the correct one. Everything I saw was real and if you couldn¡¯t see it then you were too weak.


    Yeah, that made sense. That must be how it was. I was simply too superior. A grin started to spread across my face as I looked down on my crying father. I started to explain to him how reality actually worked. The words seemed to hit him hard as he collapsed, still sobbing. It didn¡¯t faze me. It was exactly at times such as these where I had to be strong so I continued. I continued and continued. emptying my mind, telling my father everything as I felt a wicked excitement grow within me. It felt so nice to be able to look down on someone, even if it was father. It compelled me to crush him more but as I was giving in to myself more and more I noticed that the air had changed again. The easy and comfortable aura in the room was


    fading and a dark and heavy presence was creeping out from the corners of the room. I realized it must be the little girl and I looked down at her. As I suspected, her eyes were a deep red growing even darker. They felt like two spear points shrouded in darkness. She was definitely displeased with me. Was it this feeling growing within me? Did she notice it? It really felt like it. As if she could just see right through me with those eyes of hers. Thought, it didn¡¯t really matter as the sinister feeling inside me wasn¡¯t fading. Rather, it was overflowing. It made me want to act, to put father under my foot and show that I was superior. I looked at my despaired father instead of the little girl and instantly felt a surge of excitement. I couldn¡¯t help but to grin as I thought of how to push him down even further. Then, out of nowhere, small, red sparkles started to float around in the air along with an immense pressure building up. As the pressure rose the sparkles grew into big shining orbs radiating with red light. Suddenly I realized I was floating along with them. It was an indescribable feeling but I didn¡¯t have much time to be dazed before I felt the pressure become crushing. My head started to ache as I floated around along with the red orbs in the room. I tried to look around for something that would relieve the pain and realized that the dimensions of the living room were warping and the floor with my father was floating further and further away. The pressure wasn¡¯t going anywhere thought and I started to panic because of my headache growing more and more severe. I felt sluggish even thought I was floating in a room that was vertically stretching to infinity. I tried looking around more but everything grew hazy, I wasn¡¯t even sure the living room was there anymore. The orbs seemed to multiply as well and the red light grew brighter and brighter which made me feel even worse. Then, the voice of a child started to echo around me through the blinding light. ¡®Breathe¡®. Over and over again the voice repeated the words with a familiar, soothing feeling. I cached on and started to take deep breaths. With each breath I could feel my head growing lighter and I started to regain a sense of order. I felt relieved but noticed that something else was bubbling within me. It was like my mind had been put into a state of change. Like a blacksmith heating up his iron in order to bend it to his will. Soon I would hear the child voice echoing around me again in the the unbearably bright void. I looked around but everything was just like a red flood light beaming me straight in the face. The voice started to tell me to close my eyes and continue breathing. I did just so without much after thought and started to feel the bubbling sensation growing stronger. The soothing voice begged me to open my eyes again after a moment. When I did I saw that the void had turned darker again and a smaller white orb was floating towards me until it got so close I presumed it went inside me. ¡®Never doubt what you see. You are blessed to be perfect. Take care sweet brother of mine¡¯.


    With those words everything changed rapidly and suddenly I found myself on the street. The air was freezing and snowflakes were cautiously falling from the sky. I looked around for a moment and realized I was near school. I rose and started to walk towards the school with warmth in mind. After a minute or two I felt the daze catching up with me. What had just happened? It felt like the bubbling sensation had had a permanent effect on me. Something was different. I shuffled through the snow just in my socks and uniform but there was no pain. It was cold but not painful. Rather, it was cold but nice.

 Chapter 4

    I saw the school where it was situated on a hill and realized I no longer had warmth on my mind. I thought about just walking all the way home again but there was something compelling about the school. As I took my first step towards it I felt something in the atmosphere again. It was the little girl. She was skipping along side me in the snow, looking up at me. At first it felt like my eyes fooled me but everything around her was reacting to her. Snowflakes falling from the sky were bouncing of her like she had an invisible shield. trees and brushes were perking up with life despite the freezing cold. ¡®So soothing¡¯, I thought as I saw her smile and chase after snowflakes swirling around from her aura. It was also then I wondered if the voice I heard back in the void maybe was her. It certainly fit her small little figure and child-like face. If it was her voice or not really didn¡¯t matter much since I was still struggling to figure out what the words meant. Maybe they meant that dad really had been lying about all the things I saw as a kid not being real. Maybe they all were real but my weak dad couldn¡¯t see them so he pulled me down the same path. It was frustrating but it also felt good to know the truth and I was definitely not going to doubt anything from now on. My reality was a hundred percent true.


    It was pretty late but the school still hadn¡¯t closed yet. There were probably still students using the library and the gym. Maybe some clubs were still doing their activities. I thought about that but I still didn¡¯t really know why I was there. The little girl seemed to enjoy herself thought as she ran about looking around every corner in the entrance hall whilst I put my inside shoes on. We reached the main hallway and I figured I could go to the arts room. The arts room was at top floor and had a gorgeous view over the city. With the sun setting soon, maybe I could find some inspiration for a painting.


    I met a few students as I climbed the stairs but they didn¡¯t seem to notice the little girl. It was a little surprising that so many people were not even able to see things that were so obvious to myself. I guess I didn¡¯t really mind now. Maybe my desire to put myself over people had been numbed? No, not quite. It was still there, within me. The little girl was maybe suppressing it. What for? I didn¡¯t know, my guess was as good as any. Thought, it did feel like there was something answering my doubts within me. Something righteous. It just didn¡¯t have the strength to affect me.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    Anyways, I had reached the arts room and I opened the door feeling a little excited. And I had reason to be. The whole room was lit up in orange. Chairs, motives and tables were scattered throughout the room. Pencils and brushes over sheets of paper. The distinctly dry smell of paint and wood. Everything lit in deep orange as the sun set behind the horizon, engulfed by the barren winter sky and contrasted by the tall buildings in the city. I seated myself in front of the row of windows covering the whole long side of the wall, opposite the entrance. It really was the perfect room for art. With the schools almost criminal vantage point so high up over the city it would be a shame not to build windows to the point where the whole building was almost transparent. Was that the reason why I was compelled to come there?


    After a deep breath I picked up a pencil and an empty sheet of paper. I started to sketch directly from old memories. Everything that I had made myself forget was coming back. From huge dragons high up in the sky to little fairies disturbing my sleep on summer nights. All the marvellous things I had witnessed were painted up so beautifully in my mind. I had to translate it down onto my paper before it went away. I entered a trance and my hand was almost moving by itself. My head felt like it was elevating up and behind me somehow. I also felt the little girl snuggling down on my lap under the table. Her warmth added to my ability to the point where I couldn¡¯t stop. Sheet after sheet. Pencil after pencil. Sketch after sketch. Finally, I felt content. My fingers ached and my mind calmed down as I neatly stacked up all the sheets on the table. The sun was gone but it wasn¡¯t dark. The moonlight was illuminating the city with the help of the snow. It was just as beautiful but not as intense as the burning sun falling from the sky.


    The little girl had fallen asleep on my lap. Her soft snoring made me hesitate about waking her up so I decided to follow suite. I was pretty tired after all. I watched the glittering stars and the buzzing lights from the city as I had some final sentimental thoughts before fading into sleep.

 Chapter 5

    ¡®Excuse me, you need to wake up.¡¯ I twitched into consciousness, waking the little girl in the process which seemed to make her grumpy. I mumbled out a yes before looking around me to see that a classmate of mine was standing behind me. Hanazawa-san. Was she in the art club? I was pretty much a ghost member so I wasn¡¯t sure. What did it matter thought? She was just another person. It was time for me to leave. I locked my eyes forwards and walked towards the door. Just as I was about to pull the handle, Hanazawa-san spoke. ¡®It¡¯s locked.¡¯ I froze for a second due to her far from gentle voice but decided to pull the door handle anyways. It really was locked. I turned around and looked at Hanazawa-san. Her outline was shining in the moonlight. Her hair was pretty short for a girl I thought. Most girls at school had long silky hair but not Hanazawa-san. Medium length with bangs, not so neat, black colour like everyone else''s. Her eyes weren''t that flashy either. No makeup, just natural, mysterious eyes. Her uniform jacket was unbuttoned and her shirt wasn¡¯t tucked under her skirt either. She seemed to be straight forwards but not strict. I would say aloof yet serious. Expressionless but not plain¡­


    Our eyes met for a moment before she asked me about all the sketches in my hand. I cautiously told her I had come to the arts room at sunset and felt like drawing. She looked at me for a second and then she looked down on my hand holding all the sketches. ¡®Can I see them?¡¯ I knew she would just call them weird and regret talking to me since she was just as ignorant as the next person. I had no emotion towards weak people like Hanazawa-san. Still, showing her what I drew, being in the same room... Too close, really. But, I had nowhere to run so I awkwardly walked over and put the sketches on the table next to Hanazawa-san. She grabbed them and sat down by the table before giving me a look. Her eyes were like two black pearls and much more intense than before. It felt like there was some sort of brimming curiosity within them. She looked at me like she knew something. Or that there was something she was trying to find out. I didn¡¯t have much more time to think about it before she snapped away and started to look through my sketches. I felt surprisingly nervous as I watched her flip through the bunch. Thought, she only looked at every sheet for a few seconds before turning it away. I couldn¡¯t help but to feel like she wasn¡¯t just giving the sketches a look, rather it felt like she was searching through them. She discarded various sketches depicting things I thought would seem really strange to her. Like huge wolves that were longer than busses, walking trees and demon-like shadow creatures. Why wasn¡¯t she reacting to them? Walking trees were surely not a common thing. Maybe she wouldn¡¯t react to them because they were on paper and not physically in front of her. That would explain why mysterious creatures were accepted in religion.


    During my inner debates I noticed that Hanazawa-san were giving some pictures more attention as she neared the end. She looked at those longer and put them in a separate bunch. She finally got to the last sketch. It was the last one I drew. A portrait of the little girl as she slept in my lap. Hanazawa-san looked at it considerably longer than the others. Suddenly she rose from her chair and looked at me with the sketch in hand. ¡®This little girl, where did you see her?¡¯ Hanazawa-san looked very serious but I couldn¡¯t manage to find an answer. See her? She knew that I had seen the things I had drawn? She didn¡¯t assume they were weird fantasies? Should I just tell her directly how I see things? The questions piled up quickly, hindering me from working out a good answer. I didn¡¯t have to answer however. Hanazawa-san continued. ¡®There is something about you right? I can feel it. Every time you enter the classroom the air around me changes, and this girl¡­ I¡¯ve seen her before¡­¡¯ Hanazawa-san was staring me right in the eyes. She was brimming with seriousness and curiosity. She seemed excited but also worried. What did she mean with if there was something about me and that she felt it?


    Anyways, maybe she could help me learn more about the little girl since she claimed to have seen her as well. Should I tell her I can see her all the time and she follows me around? Since the little girl was in the room right now I assumed that Hanazawa-san couldn¡¯t see her as well as I could. Maybe I should try to hold the little girl in front of Hanazawa-san so that she might be able to feel something. I looked around me and found the girl playing with a brush under the table. Hanazawa-san looked at me strange, waiting for me to answer. She followed me with her eyes as I leaned down and grabbed the little girl under her arms. I lifted her up on the table and sat quiet for a moment. ¡®She¡¯s right here, on the table.¡¯ Hanazawa-san¡¯s eyes lit up. ¡®Really?¡¯ I said yes and followed with that she had been following me around and that I could see her all the time. Hanazawa-san looked at me like I was a miracle. ¡®So she is sitting right here in front of me, right now?¡¯ I nodded and said she had been playing under the table all along. Hanazawa-san got quiet, seemingly trying to focus. I asked if she could see her in anyway, she couldn¡¯t. She mentioned that she could vaguely feel something in front of her but nothing physical. I was curious about the time where she could see her and asked. She said that she had seen the little girl when she was in elementary school and it stuck with her making her look for the little girl ever since. She also said that there was a teacher at the elementary school that gave of the same feeling I did.


    Hanazawa-san felt peculiar and somehow different. It was nice to talk to her, however, soon a teacher found us and chased us out, it was late after all. I generated some pretty weird reactions from both the teacher and Hanazawa-san when I treaded out into the snow without any shoes. I told them I had left them at home, along with my coat. The teacher gave me a pair of old indoor shoes, otherwise he would probably get in trouble. Then I found myself at the top of the hill, in front of the school with Hanazawa-san on a quiet winter evening. It was peaceful and calm. A slight breeze gently swayed the trees that were heavy with snow. With the moonlight reflecting of the white snow it almost seemed like everything was covered in glitter. It almost made me feel like drawing again, but, I had other matters to think about. I needed to go home, to father. Just thinking about him made me feel hateful. The sinister urges were rising from my depths as I imagined how he would look at me when I opened the front door. I started to walk down the hill with decisive steps. Reaching deeper into myself for every second my fathers pathetic face entered my mind. How could he be so weak? He had always told me what I needed to know but it all turned out to be selfish wishes from a weak man. He was the worst. I was convinced that it was people like him who carried out the acts of ignorance I had read about in the news. To think that he was trying to make himself seem the opposite to them. Foul. Disgusting. Weak!


    My fists were shaking as I stormed down the hill. I felt like destroying him. Completely crushing him into bits. He didn¡¯t even deserve life. I continued at a rapid pace towards my home. The little girl was trotting indifferently behind me. I couldn¡¯t even muster a thought about her. I only focused on walking down the sidewalk until I would reach home. Then, came a road crossing, which I failed to acknowledge. I noticed the lights but it was too late for myself to do anything. Luckily Hanazawa-san was there. She had followed me and managed to get to me right on time, pulling me back. I found myself laying on the snow covered ground and before I knew it, the driver of the car had come to bow and apologize and helped me up along with Hanazawa-san. It served as a bit of an awakening. The snow was just now suddenly cold again. My whole body started to ache, like I had been completely frozen. The little girl was right there when I looked down, she smiled and hugged my leg. It didn¡¯t really make me any warmer but at least it was reassuring. I probably needed warmth more than reassurance thought since I could feel my legs going numb. Hanazawa-san was there to help me and escorted me to a nearby cafe.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    I sat down by the window in the small cafe whilst Hanazawa-san ordered tea. I looked outside at the traffic and the people in suits. Were they all really that blind? This many people and still such ignorance was accepted as the norm. It started to feel a little lonely. I quickly came to my senses however. I should feel happy and confident being probably the strongest person around. I smirked for myself and looked at all the people in suits like they were ants. ¡®What are you smiling for?¡¯ Hanazawa-san put two cups of tea on the table before sitting down. When I looked at her she did not become an ant. She felt different. Maybe she was actually not human? Or maybe she was some kind of hybrid, being able to act like a human but it was only me who could see her true form. There was certainly a lot of possibilities since I myself still didn¡¯t know everything. I was only the one capable of learning. That was why I was superior.


    I suddenly noticed Hanazawa-san looking at me with questioning eyes. ¡®What are you thinking about when you¡¯re like that?¡¯ I was a little confused and said. ¡®Like what?¡¯ Hanazawa-san sighed. ¡®When you get all absent like that, you could¡¯ve died earlier.¡¯ Again, I didn¡¯t know how to answer Hanazawa-san. Her voice was sharp and cut away all my senses. I looked down, avoiding her eyes but Hanazawa-san seemed to know how her words affected me. ¡®Tell me. What¡¯s going on inside your head? How are you able to see that girl?¡¯ Hanazawa-san felt so intense. Even though I couldn¡¯t see her eyes, I felt them burn a mark on me, like lasers. I endured the straining tension for a couple of silent minutes before I had enough. ¡®You would never understand!¡¯ I looked back at Hanazawa-san, right in her laser eyes. She looked stern but then she let out a snicker. ¡®Is that so? Am I to weak or something?¡¯ Hanazawa-san chuckled. Her face contained a surprising amount of expressions and emotions. It really irked me. ¡®Yeah, you¡¯re weak, just like everyone else! You¡¯re all living in ignorance! It¡¯s only me¡­ It¡¯s just me who¡¯s strong...¡¯ Hanazawa-san had stopped laughing. She looked at me like I was a foolish child. ¡®Ah, so I¡¯m weak, like everyone else¡­ How do I become like you then? How do I become strong like you?¡¯ Hanazawa-san looked at me with gentle eyes. It irked me even more. She made it seem like I was just a misunderstood child and she was an all-knowing adult. ¡®It¡¯s impossible for people like you¡­¡¯ I contained myself in order to not look even more childish. ¡®I see¡­ Anyways, can you make it home by yourself or do I need to help you?¡¯ At first the question felt humiliating but that was all dwarfed when I remembered the upcoming ordeal known to me as walking home to a certain someone. ¡®No, it¡¯s fine.¡¯ I really didn¡¯t need Hanazawa-san on my heels as well. It was simple anyways. I just needed to walk home and go to my room as usual.


    ¡®Actually, I should leave now.¡¯ I rose from my seat and walked to the exit. Hanazawa-san didn¡¯t say anything, she just looked at me as I left. I pushed the door open and was immediately engulfed by the freezing air. My face already started to hurt just after leaving the cafe. It wasn¡¯t pleasant but I told myself that someone like me should be able to endure far worse. With that in mind I tried to make my resolve and push myself all the way home. The cold became bearable rather quickly so I decided to give it my all. I was on a steady course straight home where I would see my father. Or so I thought. Why was I getting motivated to go home to my father? Was it because Hanazawa-san? Was I meant to do this? I looked around me, seeking the little girl like she was the answer. She wasn¡¯t around. I took a few steps back and looked around but I couldn¡¯t see her. It felt strange. She had only been with me for a short time but I felt such attachment and for her to suddenly disappear? It didn¡¯t feel good. It actually made me anxious. The strength I had mustered to see my father was withering like old papyrus in a sandstorm. It quickly became crippling. What would I do now? I had lost all my momentum like a derailed drain. I stumbled around as I started to feel the cold creep back into my body. I leaned against a wall and met they eyes of concerned passer-by¡¯s. One of them tried to offer me help. The humiliation I felt from Hanazawa-san was nothing compared to this. I slapped away the persons hand and gave them a stern decline. I happily watched on as people around me started to avoid me. That¡¯s right, none of them should dare get close to me. They were nothing but ants.


    I stumbled along the sidewalk. It felt like I was towering above all the people around me. I didn¡¯t know where I was heading but I knew for sure that home wasn¡¯t it. Maybe I was unconsciously looking for the little girl. Though, it seemed like she had abandoned me, like father had. Maybe it hadn¡¯t sunk in yet but it didn¡¯t make me angry, just sad¡­ and lonely. My chest felt heavy as I made my way along the city streets towards nowhere. I just kept on going for probably hours. The cold was slowly weaving itself into every cell in my body. It was painful but in my blank mind I felt like it was pain I deserved. Even if it was freezing coldness it still felt nice that there was at least something within me. What did it matter if I was the strongest around when no one could acknowledge it? I started to think of the cold as my friend but then I realized how much my only friend was looking down on me. It just made me irritated. I sighed for myself. I was now on some random street I didn¡¯t know the name of, freezing to death in the middle of the night whilst quarrelling with said cold who is also my only friend. What a tragic state. I almost envied the ants in costumes. They were at least happy, I thought. Then I realized that the one I really should envy was Hanazawa-san. She wasn¡¯t an ant and yet she seemed happy somehow¡­ actually, she seemed strong. Strong? Wasn¡¯t I the strongest? I stopped walking and stood still for a moment, staring into a lamppost. I seemed to have thought of another person as strong for just a moment. It really annoyed me. One more thing to upset my nerves. Great. Really really great. Everything was just so great, wasn¡¯t it? Actually the greatest moment of them all was happening. I turned my head like a rusty and very frozen tank turret to the side where there was a big window. It really looked like one of them cafe windows, they were often big. Maybe it was a cafe. I laughed to myself thinking it was maybe the same cafe from earlier. Wouldn¡¯t that just be super great. What would be even more super duper great was if someone, I don¡¯t know, maybe a high school girl with shorter black hair, curios black eyes, medium length, sloppy uniform and a little girl with big ruby eyes sitting on her shoulder would be on the other side of that window reading some book about fox spirits. Yeah, that would be extremely great.


    How strange it was. In the blink of an eye I felt completely different, still freezing thought. I did right to hurry into that cafe.