《Again?!!》


 0. Prologue

    Why are we born like this?


    We are separated by colour, caste, creed, country, race, Gender, I.Q. etc.


    Why can¡¯t we decide who we fall in love with?


    Why is it so hard to fall in love with someone, you really love, you deeply care about, because of something the society has decided against?


    Why is it so hard, to try something new just because the world has decided on a method to do it?


    Why is it so hard to speak, of your true feelings just because what you feel is a tad bit different than how the world feels about the same?


    Why?


    ...why?..


    .............why?


    I know some of the answers!!..and not just me even you know it!


    It¡¯s because we are too weak, too damn weak to stand up against them. We are scared to stand up against ''it'', the society that has forsaken our wishes, our hopes and our love.


    And you know what?!


    This is all due to the fact that, what the society decides is not just a notion nor is it a idea or motion to debate on, ¡®it¡¯ is the ¡®air¡¯!!!


    The little and helpless me had gotten the idea of how this world worked from a very tender age!!


    I have asked these questions to myself repeatedly for the last 8 years, I am talking about when I was in standard II, it was the first time I got second position in my class, a place I haven¡¯t given to anyone , yes, not to a single soul, even after all these years.


    My mistake is probably that I have been reigning in this position for far too long!!


    I am, as a matter of fact(based on the standards of our world), neither improving nor regressing, ¡®which¡¯ is unacceptable by the society!


    This, according to them, is piracy beyond substance and reason! So as to fulfil their wishes, if I am unable to ascend then, for me, the best course of action is to fail!!


    Well, if I do that then ''at least'' my growth graph will have some change; it may be linear or a hyperbola , a curve it doesn¡¯t matter! Whether it¡¯s increasing or decreasing, no one cares. What they care about is, if it¡¯s not the maximum value it can¡¯t be and shouldn¡¯t be a constant value!!


    Why is that?


    Dear, it¡¯s because ¡°change is the fuckin law of nature¡±!!( ...sorry for my improper conduct...but these pent up feelings I have for yeaars are at last out of my control....sorry and this might continue because they are speaking in-my-stead). : (If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    Ahem!!...


    Though I am putting it that way ( well, I can just mark it as a fiction...lol...sweats) I was and still am too scared to defy them so, I easily became the target of bullies who didn¡¯t even score half the numbers that I did and my insecurities towards life, which was too much to begin with, increased!!


    I am a ''second born''(...before meeting him I used to think that.... yeah... fate is decided by birth and you just can''t change it.... when life hits, it hits you hard......dry laugh), to a family whodefine themselves as ¡°prestigious¡±, so me being in the second position forever....well......it didn¡¯t fit well with them and I developed an inferior complex and of course a huge trauma!!


    It was all due to the continuous taunts that came bundled with misplaced sympathy and pity of my relatives and my parents.


    They usually came in hordes to give their profound lectures to me during family get-togethers and such, so, I usually had to experience an explosion of an atom bomb rather than that of bullets and that too in front of a crowd of which 99.99999% people will be have pitiful eyes directed towards you, which of course was a big fat fa?ade!!


    My sister is someone I rely on...but she was a realistic and free bird, she believed on saving one''s ownself.....but she was a bit easy on me...she always said, "Mi, I am easy on you because you are cute, ok?", she had this strange ''dere'' side to her when it came to me and our younger brother.....and after that she still use to stretch my cheeks until they turn into mochi(Japanese rice cakes)!!


    But as the fate had decided, she hated this kind of show-of parties which was nothing more than formalities and a big hasle and usually never attended them, she had the right to decline but I didn''t.


    My parents treated me like thin air, a doll without any will. I didn''t have any say on anything. I was there to accept all the negative energies from the surrounding, ironically enough, I was their charm which negated, in my case ''absorbed'', the bad in the air!!


    So, the hopeless me had to stand there, without any support, without anyone to stand for me so, yeah...it was unbearably suffocating...and due to the small but regular dose...it turned toxic..I used to have high fevers after they were over and I had started to pity myself, ''piting oneself'', it is something one should never do, ever.....I was going deeper down the abyss.........


    But still, I was ok until then, I got used to the explosive power of the atom bomb as I grew up!! If you are as strong as me, who, going further back in history, has become this person because of the repeated occurrences of the same scene over the years and has, by now, completely shut down their heart of further turbulence, you still might survive from that explosion, heavily injured but still surviving!!......


    Then last but not the least, your parents will then become, not the ultimate heal but the final weapon to kill you, that too, straight to the heart, the attack will be deadly!!


    In my case, after the parties were over, my parents usually took their frustrations of the whole day, out on me, the reason, well it didn¡¯t matter if it was originally me or not.


    They won¡¯t say I am at fault but usually use the famed, ¡°reverse psychology ¡°, the ¡°all blame lies on us, we are at fault to raise someone like you¡± and so on. They question their own child, their own blood, all because of the society!!


    They too are scared!


    Rather than becoming the strength of their ward, they are more interested in saving faces....they need to protect their dignity and a face that they created before anything else either by hook or crook and that too without a dirt on their hands !!


    They used to sprinkle some gun powder here and there and asked me to ignite it, cruel isn¡¯t?!


    I can survive millions of arrows, trillions of waves of attacks from people I don¡¯t give a damn about but...but if my parents are the one to launch even a miniscule amount of water on me I¡¯ll get scared, I am not strong I am too weak I am too damn weak!!..........


    ....................


    So, hello this is me and my awkward and probably a love story that¡¯s going to stay as an unrequited one.


    But this will ultimately save me from my caged being.


    A life lesson from which I am still learning and as I march to the finale, I am sure, at the end, I ¡®ll be able to fly!!


    I¡¯ll be stronger!!


    I¡¯ll be braver!!


    So, will you stay with me until it ends, hm?

 1. Part A: Graduation

    ¡­¡­..sighs¡­.¡±


    I am second¡­even today¡­.hah¡­I came second, again!?!¡±, I thought to myself.


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.


    Three years ago.


    According to my parents, who are self-proclaimed ¡®geniuses¡¯, I am the ¡®black sheep¡¯ of our family, well, I admit ¡®that¡¯ I am, okay, maybe!!


    Let me tell you guys some facts about my family.


    My elder sister is a Cardiologist, my younger brother is a national level chess champion who, yet in his career, hasn¡¯t lost to anyone and he is only 14 and that is already a year younger than me!! My parents are reputed and respected bankers in a nationalised bank of our country¡­so yeah, after hearing all that, it¡¯s obvious why I have this inferiority complex, no?!


    Even in my middle school because of my reign over the second place, never coming first, I was always being ¡®compared¡¯ to my siblings and their glorious endeavours by our teachers and fellow classmates and sometimes it just didn¡¯t stop at ¡®that¡¯.


    Yes, I reckon that it¡¯s true and I am proud of them but when you are at my place, though only sometimes, it did suck. Even I feel sorry for myself¡­.¡­.dry laugh.                                                But then again, no matter what anyone says or think, the love and respect and pride I have for my kin is second to none which, by the way, is being reciprocated¡­¡­. but still, still it hurt.


    You know, when you are giving it your all and just because you came second your hard work is ignored and you are deemed hopeless, it will hurt, I am, after all, a human and not a doll, who, as a matter of fact, can and will get hurt, who can feel lonely, who is sad.                             Some of you might think that it¡¯s really conceited of me to say ¡®¡¯it myself that, I work hard but I do come second, it¡¯s not like I fail! Though I am not proud of it or anything, still sometimes, when I think to myself, it¡¯s not that bad of a position, is it?


    It¡¯s always in the last question when my hand freeze-out, it may sound like an excuse but I do have nervous breakdowns and the result, I get placed second, always!! It might be my bad luck or whatever but always, always it¡¯s the same!                                                                                  But God I swear, I do work hard. It might be due to the fact that, the light of my siblings¡¯ fame is a bit too bright, which has and can blind people, it simply doesn¡¯t mean, I am dark or a black-sheep or goat or whatever.


    ¡­hah¡­. Returning to the subject, because of this constant motion of demotivating me, which had become the favourite past time of my teachers in my previous schools, I got depression attacks.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Well many-many incidents in the past led to this me.


    It¡¯s like until yesterday for me but, actually, it¡¯s been a month already!


    So now, are you guys like, ¡®Okay! We got it. So, what exactly happened to you?!¡¯


    ¡­¡­hahaha¡­.


    Actually, it¡¯s a bit embarrassing but¡­how to put it?


    .....hah¡­.


    Well until then, practically since the 3<sup>rd</sup> year in my elementary school, which continued to my last middle school, I was being bullied!


    Yes, even at this day and age I was being bullied and I also chose and preferred to remain silent. I never said anything, ever!                                                                                                    I don¡¯t know if that was the cause, but something ignited those people and as the days passed the level of their pranks kept improving.


    I have been tolerating all of that and with the constant bickering of my parents and relatives, adding the pressure from school which has been continuing for the past 5 to 6 years or so, I thought I got accustomed to it but being a human being, with blood running through my veins, I was unable to become a doll, devoid of emotions so yes, I got hurt and before I knew it, I was suffering from a huge trauma¡­..hahaha¡­¡­and hence I had become this person.


    I am someone who has been doing nothing for days, I even stopped going out of my room!!


    All of this happened, the day after I had my middle school graduations (it was February the 11<sup>th</sup> and now it¡¯s already 10<sup>th</sup> of March), when I was trying to go out of my room for some errands, I had allergic reactions, I had hives, I was unable to step out of our house!!


    I was definitely TRAUMATISED, I mean I am a ¡®second born¡¯ and it¡¯s something I didn¡¯t even have my hands on but still, yes, still those classmates of mine teased and taunted at me using my birth.


    ¡°Come on guys, grow up!! Even jokes had their limits and you are definitely crossing it!!¡±, sometimes I wanted to say these lines on their face at the top of my voice but I didn¡¯t, it might have changed something but who knows how?The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    You can say that I am being way too negative, but that is how I grew up! I have been absorbing negative things for many years, so, it¡¯s no wonder, no??


    I used to get scared, thinking that they might make another joke on me, that is, if I shouted.


    Do you know why?


    Well, it¡¯s because I start stammering whenever I try to speak for myself, yes, I can¡¯t even ask someone, to give me a glass of water without stammering because it¡¯s something I need for myself. I know it sounds ridiculous but think about it from where I stand!!


    My sister told me that it might be because I get too nervous or else, I think that I don¡¯t deserve and shouldn¡¯t get anyone¡¯s help because of how I grew up, you know, always standing at the corner, whenever my parents threw a party or eating after my family had their meal, it might be because I think too little of myself or something along those lines.


    According to her, it¡¯s definitely a defect in the way of my thinking, it¡¯s nothing of a disorder or, practically, it might become one, again that is, if I don¡¯t improve my interaction skills and after saying all this, she started crying like a baby. She was being a professional until then but after that she became the loving sister, who loved her cute Mi way beyond reason.


    She hugged me and crying she said,¡± Mi, I am truly sorry for what you have gone through!! All these years I was not here, I never knew¡­¡­.hic¡­¡­ that the Mi, who loved to be pompous and always had the smile of an angel had turned into someone who can¡¯t even smile genuinely. I am sorry, I am so sorry!!¡±. Do you get the reason I can¡¯t stop loving my siblings, hm?


    I also started crying, after so many years I cried, it was not because I felt sad or because I will be unable to speak normally again, I was used to talk very less and since I knew that there is probably no one who can make my communication skills grow, I had already decided that I will be unable to speak normally, sad, no?(¡­.I thought it was trivial and didn¡¯t make a fuss over it but little did I know that, very soon, real soon, this was going to push me further into the corner¡­¡­).


    So, the reason I cried, well it was because after long last someone, at last, someone had held me this close.


    My brother loves to come into my bed. He loves to sleep beside me and because he is smaller than me, I think it¡¯s because he hasn¡¯t had his growth spurt yet, but still, since, he is smaller in size, whenever we sleep, the feeling of hugging someone comes rather than being hugged, of course I can¡¯t expect that from my parents so, even though my elder sister is a little bit smaller than me, when she embraces me I feel protected.


    Since the times, when I was a small and frail kid, I always felt that her hands were big and the way she uses to pat my head, it¡¯s the best thing ever!!


    I think of her as my sister my mother and she is half of my world, the other half being my brother.


    By the way all of this happened before my graduations, it was when my sister had come home after her overseas trip, when she saw me like this she, at first, thought that maybe, it was due to exams pressure and left it at that but then she after consulting our maids and our brother she found out the truth, she made her observations and told me the results and that probably was the starting point.


    Even though I didn¡¯t think much of it, it came as a bigger shock than expected.


    I couldn¡¯t talk normally, not now, not ever, not even in my new school!!


    When I started thinking of my new school life, some sudden thoughts came drifting into my head. Some of them were like, what if I stammered during my introduction, maybe it will be excused but I was not sure and what if that happened and what if this happened and these ¡®what ifs¡¯ made the already little-coward-heart of mine tremble with fear.


    Now that I think of it, it might have started way before that but because of what I had been tolerating, you know ¡°School-life Traumas¡± AKA SlTs, for all these years plus this new addition, somewhere in a corner of my heart, I think I had already decided to go down the NEET way, for all those non-otakus out their it stands for Not engaged in education (nor) trained!!


    After my graduations, my rebellious phase, at long-last, had started and came with full force!!


    It was lit with 100 percent burst power, it might be because of all these years of compressing it forcefully or something along those lines but the rebel inside me was let loose!!


    Because, just think, the me who didn¡¯t even breathe without the assurance and permission of my parents, actually didn¡¯t appear any sort of exams, for my High school prospect, practically, I was making a joke of everything they, my parents, had taught me. Every single thing they had and hadn¡¯t done for me, for all these years, were in vain or so, I was going to make of it, as, in the next few days the few exams which were left were going to be conducted and the way I am now, it¡¯s probably, all over for me or so I thought!


    Leaving those useless things aside, hahaha¡­I said that exams are useless!! ¡®Rebellious¡¯, indeed!! I can say this because I am a person, who in hopes of getting the first place ¡®this¡¯ time has given exams even with a 103-degree Fahrenheit fever!!


    I never knew I was the kind of person who could get distracted this easily, I mean where was I again, oh! yes, I was going to tell you, what I have been doing for these last two months, sorry for all that, I got side- tracked.


    So, you are still interested, aren¡¯t you??


    Well I had become a hard-core otaku!!


    I remained sleepless for nights, something I have never done even before my exams, in order to watch the streaming animes and such.


    I just knew that, Otaku people were like this, I had some classmates who belonged to the fandom but back then I couldn¡¯t follow their way of thinking and now when I am the same, I am starting to get what and how they felt.


    I cry when it¡¯s shoujo and scream when it¡¯s shounen, I discovered a new door for me, ironically enough, my doors were closed!!


    For days I closed myself up and when animes were not streaming, I used to get immersed in a mobile game called ¡°MOBILE LEGEND: BANG BANG¡±, on a side note, it rocks!!


    My favourite characters are ¡®Layla¡¯ and ¡®Zilong¡¯.


    Well in this game, since it¡¯s a 5 on 5 and of course I don¡¯t have real or online friends, I was matched up with different players from different countries, of different backgrounds who usually didn¡¯t think of anything other than winning so, with a common goal in mind, we worked together and it felt good, I was a refugee and this platform had become my saviour.                           Many of the times I won and sometimes I lost but I felt that I was alive so, in the least, I was happy!! Even though I knew I was running away from reality, even though my parents thought that it was not substantial, I was living the life of my dreams!!


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.

 1. PART B Start......

    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.


    But you can¡¯t run away from your destiny and reality for too long!!


    My parents had long since given up on persuading me by themselves but they had their reputation to take care of, no?


    So, they prepared the only medicine which worked on this deadly virus called ¡®me¡¯. (Hey, I thought of something just now, I am a virus but the irony is, I feel alive in the virtual world while I am dead in the living-real world, funny isn¡¯t it?!)


    (HAHAHAHAHA¡­)


    Yeah, so my time had come, my time to face reality, once more.


    My sister, who was angry on my parents for my sorry state and hadn¡¯t said anything to me, at last succumbed to my parents¡¯ pressure and her own rationale after thinking of my future and had come to me.


    My sister, Tiara ¡®Omamori¡¯ Kubo, is by profession a Cardiologist, she is eight years older than me and just at the age of 23, she is already a renowned Doctor.


    She is a, by the complete sense of the words, a complete mystery.


    I don¡¯t even know when and how she completed her high school, her Uni and her Post Grad degree because she got the degree at 20 and has been practising overseas, for the last three years.


    By calculations, she only had 3 years after her high school graduations, to get that degree but it¡¯s just not possible!! She even said that, she didn¡¯t skip classes so, how did she do it?


    Well, she indeed, is a mystery!!


    Leaving that matter aside, ¡®Kubo¡¯ is our Family name.


    My mother is not Asian, so, she wanted an English name (when I heard this I was like, ¡°LOL¡±) and hence the first name ¡®Tiara¡¯, she definitely lives up to her name, doesn¡¯t she?!!


    By the way, ¡®Omamori¡¯ is something that I came up with.


    Well, as far as I remember, it¡¯s because I started speaking a bit latter than normal children do, I think it was when I was 3 or 4, my sister was already in her elementary and even back then I stammered a lot but she always stood there, in front of me, protecting me from those evil relatives and the neighbourhood children who teased me.


    I always liked to walk behind her and since I was very small, I used to hide myself behind her body, clenching on to her skirt and watching her as she protected I unconsciously started calling her ¡®Omamori-nee¡¯, that too, in my half crying and stammering voice, which according to her was music to her ears and she became my ¡°Omamori-nee¡±, my lucky and protective charm!!


    My siblings are my world and the most precious gifts that god has given to me.


    I love only them (this was until I met him¡­.hehehe) and ¡®by default¡¯ my parents, who brought my gifts to this world.


    I can never love them for myself but I love them because of my siblings and leaving them aside, I practically don¡¯t need anyone else!! So, about the rest of the world, I don¡¯t give a damn!! (¡­¡­or so I thought back then!!¡­Rebellious phase is scary alright!! I can say this, because now that I am an adult and at seventeen I got my rationale back and being someone who can tell bad from good, it¡¯s improper to treat your parents like that, or so I should believe?.......)


    Yes, so, where was I?!


    Yeah, as the baton of handling this ¡®mutant¡¯ (¡®this¡¯ is something my parents used, to refer me as, when I started rebelling) and bringing it to its senses had been passed to my sister, her effects came incredulously fast, too fast!!


    I came and connected to the surface, in just a few minutes of our conversations, majority of which was done by her. Yes, her charm had worked, yet again, it had worked and again it was in the favour of my family and of course, it had worked on me!


    She is a beauty, an epitome of that word, in both soul and body!! A petite but slim figure, her long black hairs as they trace down her waist, exquisitely redefine her curves, she has almond-shaped pure black eyes adding to her charm, a really charming and open personality, what else do you need!!


    With a really good brain on her head and a black belt to her name, yes, she brawls too!!!


    Adding to that, she has this charming and persuasive way of saying things, you know, in her rhythmic and childish voice, in between, adding her cutesy giggles, you just can¡¯t go against her!!


    I don¡¯t know from where she picked this skill, but amazingly, it works, at least on me, it does work!! She has this way of expressing her feelings in a roundabout way which, in contrast, will make you think that she is saying whatever you wanted her to say, so you easily give in. Thinking that, she is your biggest ally, which of course she is, you give in to her words.


    Maybe it¡¯s because of her profession or it may be due to nepotism on my part, but her charm, it always works on me!!


    So, the hard ice had finally melted and I went out. Whatever she said, struck a nerve and I came out of my isolation, finally!!


    Practically, though my rebellion was on a high note, it¡¯s not like the shy and coward me had left me!! So, even though I didn¡¯t show it on face, actually, I was getting anxious. Yes, I was scared for and of myself.


    As my sister always says, ¡°Live your life to you dreams but make sure that you don¡¯t regret it, ever!!¡± and these words kept on ringing inside me, even when I was gaming, even when I was screaming and even now!! Whatever I do is half-assed, I know it but I can¡¯t change it.


    Somewhere, deep down in my heart, I knew that, I¡¯ll come to regret this, but without someone¡¯s interference, it was way too hard for me to come back from the path I was walking on. That did come, she came only for me.


    I was rescued, I could believe that, I am not alone!! That someone was bound to be my sister, my brother is my stem and she is my roots, ironically enough, my education are my leaves and my roof!!


    So, it was because I wanted this, okay!! It¡¯s not like I melted that easily, you know?


    Okay, okay I was just saving my face but in reality, my sister had decided everything thinking every bit about me, so, who am I to deny her, to go against her?


    She had applied, as my proxy or more like in my stead, for a school which was really far, really far away from where we live. For my parent¡¯s sake, of course, it¡¯s in the same country!!


    Using some connections, which according to her is something I shouldn¡¯t know about because I am too pure, she had found that, no one from my previous schools had applied there, so, there are no reasons to be scared of reliving my past trauma!!Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.


    She is the Coolest Hero ever, isn¡¯t she!!


    She had made sure that everything that happened there, in my new high school, will be reported to her and not to my parents. According to her, it was her way of making them, our parents, amend their mistakes, what she called were ¡®sins¡¯!


    She had this utter faith on me that I will pass that exams, which by our country standards is ¡®tough¡¯, without a hitch!! So, without any further ado, she had prepared everything, she was ready and was there for me for my every need.


    This school¡¯s exams were the last for this year, before I knew it, the others were over, so, if I didn¡¯t pass, I was doomed for a year and the worst part, it was only after 3 days!!


    No matter what I did, it won¡¯t be enough or so I thought.


    My sister didn¡¯t come late, what she did took some time and she came to me, fully prepared. It was me who was on the wrong, who was at fault. After the rebel inside me had subsided a bit, I knew what and who was at the wrong as, it didn¡¯t need much thinking, it was clear as the sky, I was being an idiot!


    So, as I was getting my rewards of continuous negligence, another ticking bomb had appeared, without my knowledge.


    My sister who had packed some of my belongings and as she took them with herself asked me to get some sleep, I came back to reality from the me who was facing some inner turmoil.


    I said okay and went to sleep, hearing and admitting and accepting all of that, I was not even in the mood of playing so, after so many days, I had an early and good sleep.


    The next day¡­¡­


    The bomb, at last exploded!! My sister who is a free bird, too free for God¡¯s sake, decided to take me to the venue of the exams, herself and that too, by her car!!


    My sister told me that she will drive me to the school and of course that it will take one whole day to get there by road, she said all that when I was having my breakfast, yes, it was half an hour before we set out for the centre, funny isn¡¯t it¡­..hahahaha¡­¡­no IT IS NOT!!


    But being unable to say a no or, even getting a chance to say anything at all, I was pushed into the car after I had completed my breakfast, which I had dropped from my mouth into the plate after I heard her ridiculous idea. Of course, I wore something which could be labelled as formal attire and not my pyjamas and before I could catch up with my feelings and to her words, yes, before I could even think of anything, we were already on the road!!


    So, guys, hear this!!


    I am someone who was lying on the bed, gaming, as of yesterday and as of today is going to appear a national level exam, which, further, will decide if I will be a high-school student for the next session or will be a dropout, an exam which is going to be held the day after tomorrow!!


    ¡­.hahaha¡­.


    God save me!!


    It¡¯s not even a fiction!!


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..


    We reached our destinations the next day at 01:04.


    It was really late, but of course, my sister had prepared everything.


    She had booked a hotel for us, so, we readily checked in after that strenuous long, long drive!!


    She asked me if I wanted something to eat but since, we had our dinner, while on the road and I didn¡¯t need more, I said a no.


    I was too tired, not just from the journey, actually, the mental stress was what kept me at the edge, so, I took the room keys and went straight to our assigned room.


    When I first entered, I instinctively closed the door! I thought I had entered the wrong room, but checking the card and room ID countless time, I went inside the room and by now my sister had also joined me with a skipping note and evil smirk on her face.


    I got the whole idea, it was my one of my sister¡¯s prank.


    The room had a double bed, my sister had a dumb face for a split second but it had already turned into that evil smirk, not too hard to guess, she was the one to ask for it¡­¡­hah¡­. this evil sister, she knew I didn¡¯t liked it but she also knew that I didn¡¯t want to sleep alone so, she¡­¡­. god this lady!!


    As we slept, she cuddled and clung to me and unable to do anything or put any resistance, I slept like a log but knowing that she was beside me, I slept well!!


    That night, no words were exchanged between us.


    The next day, we had our breakfast and after that she left me to study on my own, of course I was not the last-moment-crammer-type, so, I just overlooked some trigonometric formulas which are still my short coming, math is tough, no?


    At lunch, my sister came back from wherever she had gone, she didn¡¯t mention and I didn¡¯t ask. I knew that she had gone to talk with her superiors and just because she didn¡¯t like to bring profession into family, I didn¡¯t ask. She asked me if I wanted something from the convenience store, I didn¡¯t, so, I said a no. We had a light brunch and then parted ways till night. We again slept together without and without any further suspense, finally, the day had come.


    The preparations for my exams were not good, scratch that, they were not even at the level where I could say I tried, yes, it was that bad!!


    I mean, I have been reading nothing, for a month already!! Okay, I would be lying if I said I was not studying at all, because I was still studying for 3 to 4 hours every night (which my sister, I think, knew) because it had been ingrained in my bones but the entrance exams are tough and need a different approach.


    The me with my trauma, will definitely do bad, so even though I felt sorry for my sister that I couldn¡¯t stand up to her expectations, I at least didn¡¯t want to run away from her nor from this so, I decided to go for it.


    Even though I am the type to read until I die before my exams, not a late night and last minute crammer, that¡¯s different but a thorough reader and I knew that my preparations were of a sorry state but because my sister said that, ¡°I know how much you work hard, I know you were not the ignorant type, I believed and so I know you have not lost your touch. You were studying even though you were cooped up, I know you will do well. Mi, I believe in you¡±, I decided I want to give my best, even if, it¡¯s for her, I want to give it my best!!                                                                                                  ¡°I wanted to hear these words and it came from someone who has this unspoken but real faith on me, what else do I need?¡±, I thought to myself. It was my turn to do something for her.


    So, with the pen which my brother gave to me, as I was leaving the house, saying that this had his luck and protection and a big push from my sister¡¯s strong but dependable palm, I went on to appear the exams.


    It was the time of my real exams, this will prove if my hard work of all these years was worthwhile or not!! This will be a chance to prove my worth to my parents-no actually, this was a chance given to me, by my angel, to live my life as I pleased, without the fear of my parents, without the pressure of the term, ¡®first¡¯!!


    The exam, by every sense of it, was worthy to be called ¡®tough¡¯ but not something that will make you bald.


    Its aim was to screen out the deserving ones. Not tough but tricky, not a contest but a competition!!


    As the time passed and I went on tackling the sheet, though I was anxious, I was quite calm. I wasn¡¯t this calm even during my class tests!!


    It¡¯s probably because I had someone backing me, someone to support me if I tumbled, someone who had faith in me and before I knew it I had covered 85 questions out of the 100 asked and a smile had also surfaced without my knowledge, it was probably because I was thinking of my sister and brother.


    But¡­...that calm was also before the storm!!


    It was 10 minutes to 14:00. The last 10 minutes of the exam and then all hell broke loose!!


    My heart was palpitating, my hands were soaked with sweat, my mind went blank and I was panting. I got anxious, again at the last questions.


    Old habits die hard, of course, you can¡¯t change your habits this easily.


    I was too scared; my heart beat reached the peak and I blanked out. I had probably passed but I wanted to do better!! But still, still I couldn¡¯t do it, I almost started crying.


    I apologised and apologised in my heart, to my sister; to my brother; to God. I was sorry. I was unable to live up to their expectations, I was trembling to the point of shaking when¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­


    Haahh¡­hahh¡­aaachhoooo!!


    The guy who was sitting beside me, sneezed!!


    It was so loud that the teacher gave him an irked look, too which he raised a hand I slightly, gesturing a sorry!!


    Almost everyone in the room were shaking, they were probably restraining themselves but I couldn¡¯t and let out a small giggle!!


    It was way too hilarious; the tears finally fell but they were not sad ones!! Before I knew it, I was calm and serine again. His sneeze was so sudden that, I forgot everything for a moment and it helped me calm down!! I was glad but still, I lightly bowed and apologised, when I saw the annoyed look on the invigilator. I was shocked that I could laugh in this situation, it was a first for me!!


    When I looked at the boy, he was also staring at me.


    He said,¡± You, okay now? You were too tensed, so¡­¡­.¡± he gestured his achoo.


    I was shocked.


    Yes, due to this sudden incident, I was saved but I didn¡¯t know it was not by accident it was planned, only for me.


    I said a thank you and a sorry and gave him a short smile to which he gave a ¡°it¡¯s ok¡±.


    The exam went well!! I was grateful to him, I wanted to thank him but before I could say that, he had already left.


    When I came back, I told everything that had happened, to my sister, even she, for a change, was shocked.


    She said,¡± It would be good if you could be friends, no?¡±, she gave a meaningful smile.


    That night before sleeping, I prayed to god, ¡°God please let me meet him again, okay?¡±


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­


    After a week, the exams results were out.


    I passed with flying colours.