《Apocalypse is Another Word for "Fun"》


 King James

    I definitely remember the faint glimmer of the idea that I was handling this whole survival thing wrong the first time I had a young woman offer to do anything I wanted her to do as long as I would give her some food and help her survive. I almost gave in to her that day and after I had left and thought about it, I scavenged up some food from areas other survivors normally wouldn''t go (urban areas are the shit when the dead ignore you) and headed back to where I had seen her. When I got there though she was already dead. Not turned, I think that the sight of me walking away with a pack of food and not being interested in her offer had broken her. I genuinely felt bad at first because I hadn''t meant to break her so I took the time to bury her properly after making sure she wouldn''t come back.


    While I sat in the building she had been camped out in that night, cooking around her fire pit, going through the remains of her supplies, and imagining all the delights I missed out on it suddenly hit me the sheer power I now had at my fingertips. I wasn''t just another survivor, struggling to get by, and running from the dead. I had the ability to get supplies that no one else could. I could use the dead as both weapons (leading them into enemy groups with noise and bait) as well as my own personal protection (I could disappear into a horde and no one could follow me, I could sleep with a room full and generally be left alone). I could create a safe place to live for anyone who I deemed worthy of such a highly sought after area. I could easily get rid of those who I deemed were not a fit. Hell, I mused to myself around that nameless womans fire, I could even be the only cure for this virus. Being able to be the "savior" of the surviving humans? Now THAT would be power.


    I spent a great deal of that time figuring out how I would approach such situations in the future and set out the next morning with a plan firmly in mind. I decided on an area that I had traveled through before and left behind because there was such a heavy infected presence. It was a thickly populated city that was known for being a hub for several large trucking companies of pharmaceuticals, food, construction supplies, and was suspected of having government contracts so probably guns and ammo nearby as well. I didn''t need most of it personally, but I knew that I would need to have access to it soon. I spent a few days stealing vehicles from all over the city (car dealerships make for great vehicle grabs when there are only zombies manning the lot) and using them to create barriers for the dead and blocking off streets, alleys, and other areas. Once I had all exits blocked off, except for one, I grabbed a convertible with loud speakers and spent a few more days playing at being the pied piper of Hamlin. I was moving zombies away from the area I had blocked off and leading them into the area beyond my barriers and then cutting the music to return and get more. It took me a few days but eventually I had most of them cleared out of the area I wanted clear for living. It was a simple area really. A couple square blocks of apartments that shared a couple acre park space between them. The apartments were 5-10 stories tall but I knew it wouldn''t take long to clear them since I was just going to lead as many outside as I could down the halls and I would just crowbar the rest and leave them for when the survivors arrived to clean up. I was just about finished clearing the third of the ten buildings I had walled off when I heard gun shots in the distance.


    I was more curious about the gun shots than concerned. They weren''t rapid fire like someone in a bad zombie situation would be firing off. They were methodical I would say, about one every slow count to 60. They didn''t seem like they were shooting at something to kill it so much as shooting to try and get someones attention. On top of the timing the shots were coming from close by, either inside my new safe zone or close to it. I finished clearing the building and made my way to the roof with my scoped rifle and immediately saw the shooter. One of the other apartments in my safe zone had survivors on the roof waving pieces of cloth to try and get my attention. I quickly scoped them and saw two women. One was an older woman, perhaps late 40s or early 50s, dirty blond hair, maybe 5''6" and covered in dirty and ragged clothing. Her companion was younger, maybe a daughter, late 20s or early 30s, darker hair, maybe brown, a little shorter than the older woman, and she was holding a small pistol and waving it around in the air with excitement. I waved once to them and made several "calm down" hand motions as I turned and walked back into the apartment I had just cleared.


    My mind was spinning at this point. How had they survived in this area all this time without getting killed? Were there other survivors? Should I just leave them there and move my wall? I immediately discounted the last question in my head as I hit the ground floor and stepped outside. I knew that unless they were problems I wasn''t going to do anything to force them out. I was lonely. I was anxious to put my plan into motion. I was horny. I was going to get answers to my questions and then give them my ultimatum and then decide what to do from there. I made this decision as I was entering the base floor of their apartment and started doing a quiet sweep. This building was still pretty full of the dead, that may have been part of why there were so many zombies downtown. They tended to be pretty good at smelling and seeing survivors I noticed. When I got to the staircase on the first floor I noticed it had been filled with furniture and chunks of what looked like concrete blocks. Interesting, I thought, did they really survive that many dead just from blocking the stairs? I cleared away some of the rubble and then saw what the real answer was. They didn''t just full the bottom floor with stuff making a barrier, they had somehow collapsed the only stairwell leading up the entire building so there absolutely zero access to the higher floors internally that I was aware of. I stepped outside and jumped backward through the door just as quickly as a rock tied around a piece of string landed with a loud "CRACK" on the sidewalk out front. I walked over and saw a piece of paper tied to it and looking up I saw the two women waving and pointing at the rock. I thought about yelling up to them but didn''t want to attract a lot of attention from any remaining dead while I figured this all out.


    I picked up the rock and pulled the note off opening the note I quickly read the contents "We have been watching you setup barriers and lead off the dead. Are you immune? Can you help us? We don''t have very much food and very little clean water until it rains. Please, don''t leave us to die! Janice and Lei" I looked up again and the two women were quietly watching me to see what I would do. I stood there thinking about how I could make this work to my advantage. I knew I had power, I knew I could show my power to them if I did it right. I decided to set the tone I wanted right from the start. I went and got a couple pads of paper and some pens from my back pack. Returning I wrote a quick note "I am immune. I have plans for this area being rebuilt as a haven for survivors. I can help you with food, water, security, and a long term life that doesn''t involve you being food for the dead. The question is what can you do for me and my new community that will make me want to let you stay? Here is a couple MREs and some water to enjoy while you think it over. Take your time, I have all day </img> -King James" I quickly attached the note to the MRE packageing and tied everything together and then motioned the women to raise the package up. When they first saw the MREs and water they waved excitedly and blew me kisses but after they took the note off and read it they looked down at me in disbelief. I smiled, shrugged my shoulders, and went back to clearing the rest of the apartment buildings. I checked on their roof top sanctuary a few times whenever I would reach the roof top of a newly cleared building but they had gone inside and close the door. Oh well, I didn''t know if they could leave the building or not so I got a small group of zombies from outside the wall to follow me in and locked them into the base of their building while also sleeping in the last building which had not yet been cleared and has a good chunk still left inside I could use to keep people away.


    I woke up the next morning and decided to be a real asshole. You see the dead weren''t interested in other mammals. One of the reasons I had picked this area was the dead density and the possibility of lots of good loot to be scavenged yes, but it was also a short drive from a number of large farms. I stole a truck and took a drive out to a farm that I had scouted before and found what I was looking for. I quickly loaded a few into the back of the livestock trailer I had attached from the same barn I had found what I was looking for in and drove back to my new home. When I pulled back into my home and close the gate after herding the dead that followed me in back out I pulled up to the green lawn space in between all the buildings. I looked up at the women''s building and saw their heads duck back below the lip of the building out of site. I shrugged to myself with an evil little grin and unloaded the cows I had found. I had managed to get 4 of them loaded without too much trouble and when they got out they immediately started grazing the lawn. I pulled off the bags of grain and rolled a few hay bales off as well, getting them settled into the base of one of the least grime covered apartment buildings. When I came back outside I saw a large white piece of cloth fluttering in the breeze at the base of the women''s building and went to see what they had decided.


    I picked up the rock and saw a new message attached so I pulled it off and stepped inside the building to read "This is the United States of America. You are no "King" and we are not your subjects. Don''t be an asshole and help us. Please. There aren''t very many survivors left and we haven''t heard of anyone, anywhere that is immune. We can help you yes, but we are not your slaves, your minion, you whores, or anything else you might be imagining in your head right now. What do you realistically want from us?" I sat on the ground and thought about a response that would fit what I am creating and decided to be brutally honest.


    "Ladies, the USA is dead. The world is dead. It was the people, countries, and governments of the world that lead to us being damn near wiped from the face of the Earth. I am a King because I am the one who took this area back from the dead, made it safe, and can leave safely to go get more of the supplies that uninfected, but NOT immune, folks like you will need to survive. I am King because I have all of the power and ability to do more than cower on top of an apartment building waiting for death to inevitably arrive. I am an asshole. I am a greedy, self serving, dirty minded, and fairly typical man. I am all of those things and more, worse in some ways, better in others. You are right, there are not many survivors left, most are stuck just like you are. I came here not knowing there WERE any survivors to clear it so I could restart humanity... on MY terms. I am the only immune that I am aware of. I am unsure if I can share this immunity with anyone, but again I am willing to try on MY terms. If you decide to stay, in MY kingdom, then you are whatever I say you are. If I tell you to suck my dick you will. If I tell you to dig a ditch, you will. If I tell you to tongue fuck each other while I watch to pass away the long nights now that we don''t have television... you will. IF you decide to stay you absolutely WILL become anything I want you to be but you do have the choice to go. I can''t let you stay up there forever, but I am willing to load a vehicle full of supplies for you, give you a full tank of gas, and get you safely past the dead if you choose to leave. I am a King, but I only want willing subjects who understand the value of what I can provide to them that no one else can: a future. So ladies, what I want is for you to shit or get off the pot. This is my land now. You can stay or you can go. Those are your options and I will give you a week to decide. Oh and by the way, I am going to be cooking up some steaks tonight, if you decide to stay let me know before dark so I have time to figure out how to get you out safely in time for dinner. -KING James"


    I attached the rope and walked quickly away. I didn''t need to stick around and see their reactions, I had work to do. I walked over and tethered a cow to a small post I had sunk into the ground near the center of the garden green and quickly killed the cow. I hung it to let it drain and got my fire pit ready with some fresh green onions and garlic I had found growing in a small overgrown garden at the same farm. Reaching into the pack I pulled out a half full bottle of olive oil as well and some salt. Setting all that by the fire I sharpened my knife quickly and began butchering the cow. I finished as the sun started getting low in the sky and wandered over to the occupied building. There was a new note that simply said "Fuck you, you god damned animal. If you want to take us as your little whore slaves or force us out into the wasteland then you just try and make us. Try and come get us and see what happens you bastard!"Stolen story; please report.


    I quickly wrote my response "You have a week to decide. After that I can force you out without ever having to get near you. I can smoke you out with a large fire of tires at the base of the building. I can collapse the building with explosives or using a truck to pull support beams. I can shoot both of you from over 400 meters away when you aren''t expecting it. If I really wanted to be an asshole I could just lead half the zombie I led away back inside the gate and lock them in with you. I don''t want this to get ugly. Stay with my rules or leave and live with your own rules. Those are the most sane choices you have. Good night ladies, I have a nice thick steak with onions and garlic to enjoy! - KING James" I attached it to the rock and left not bothering to wait and see if they lifted it up. I was done playing a mental game of tug of war with them and tomorrow I would show them just how serious I was. I sat down and enjoyed cooking up several steaks, smiling and waving at the girls when I saw them peek over the lip of their building and stare at the steaks on the fire pit grill cooking. I knew that as close as we were and with the night being still and quiet they could definitely smell them cooking up there. I then ate as much as I could until I was stuffed and walked over to their building with the remaining steaks, as I neared their building I hear the "CLACK" of the note rock hitting the ground. These stupid bitches really thought I was bringing them steak?! I laughed long and hard and didn''t bother with keeping the noise down as I laughed long and loud enough for them to hear. I quickly wrote a note on a fresh piece of paper not bothering to read theirs. "One week you fucking whores. I gave you an MRE and some clean water to show you I was serious about helping, you haven''t done anything NEAR enough to earn a fucking steak, these are for my little dead helpers in your building keeping you from coming down after me at night. They work so they get fed. Sleep tight now girls! - KING JAMES THE FULL OF STEAK!" I attached it to their rock and went inside.


    I threw the steaks on the floor, the dead couldn''t tell the difference between mammals with cooked meat I had learned and they are quite a bit more aggressive after they feed so this was a steak night for them for a reason. I walked towards the front door and stopped. What if I had pushed them too far and now they were ready to try and strike out at me? I don''t know where the thought came from but I had learned to listen to these little gut feelings. I walked back over to one of the dead that was done feeding and was ambling around and slowly push him toward the door. When I got closer I took my ball cap and my jacket and put them on the zombie and then push him towards the door. Now most zombies when you get them moving in a direction will keep going unless they find something else they are interested in, this one was no different. He walked fairly quickly, for a dead man, outside and was promptly shot five times. He didn''t even jerk so they must have been low caliber rounds and with it being dark the girls probably couldn''t even see it wasn''t me or that they had hit it with each shot. The dead man turned partly and looked up but must not have seen them he kept walking towards the other side of the compound at a fairly good clip. I decided then that no matter what happened the girls were not leaving this compound and that both of them would live very long lives paying for this folly and learning their place in my new world. I sat down on the floor inside the door way to think. I had been sitting there for a few minutes, pistol in my lap, thinking about how to safely get them out of the building to make them pay when I heard a soft slithering sound outside. Curious, I slowly moved into an apartment near the door that had windows overlooking the front of the building.


    I saw a bright red emergency fire ladder, like the kind companies used to sell to put in kids rooms that hook on the window sill and allow you to safely escape in case of a fire, slowly jerking back in forth as it swung from two dark shadows climbing down it. I ducked back into the shadows and watched quietly, waiting to see what they would do. I heard one woman ask the other one "Are you sure you got the bastard?" the other woman replied with a softer voice "I had to have, you saw him stumble away and fall in the field. I think I clipped him and he went into shock and bled out." The other woman queried "What do we do if he isn''t dead? We can''t shoot him again with an empty gun and I only have my small knife." Her friend sighed and said "He won''t know it''s empty and if we can get the drop on him we can bluff and get one of his. I bet he has all kinds of ammo. Before we go, be careful and pull that front door to the building closed so those deaders don''t come get us." I heard a small movement and heard a click as the front door closed.


    I took this as a sign that it was time to tear their little worlds apart. I saw them start to move away from the apartment and waiting until they got 30 or so meters away. I quietly opened the door again and start ushering the dead closest to it outside. They quickly smelled the girls and started following. I smiled and quickly climbed their ladder as quietly as I could. When I reach the top of the 6 story building, I looked around and saw a chair that I pulled over to the edge to sit down and watch. I didn''t want the girls to die so I did my best imitation dead on the hunt moan in a low tone. They whipped around and saw the dead slowly staggering towards them. I heard the blond haired woman shout at the darker haired one "I thought you closed the door!" "I did, I felt it click, he must have had more somewhere close by!" the younger woman yelled back. "Quick, back to the ladder, he hasn''t moved yet so he is probably dead, we can figure out how to get to his stuff tomorrow in the daylight!" They both started sprinting around the dead in a wide path straight back to the ladder. I stood and backed away towards the doorway leading off the roof and waited quietly. They both quickly reached the top, huffing and puffing, and pulled the ladder up behind them before collapsing to the ground. They sat for a minute catching their breath when the younger woman said to her friend "I am so hungry Janice, I really hope those steaks are still good tomorrow when we get to them." I took this as a good time to step out and meet face to face.


    "I told you fucking dumb whores already, you don''t eat unless you earn it." I said loudly and with a hard edge in my tone stepping away from the doorway down and into the moonlight so they could see my hand cannon leveled at them. The younger girl, Lei I assumed now, pulled up her little pistol and pointed it at me before stammering in surprise "Put it down asshole before I put some more bullets in you." I grinned and put a round into the roof at her feet and then quickly pointing it back at her before saying "Go ahead dipshit, you didn''t hit me with the last five rounds you had lets see if your imaginary bullets are any more accurate eh?" They had both jumped at the shot but they broke down when I called their bluff. "Sit down ladies we need to talk." I growled roughly. I was getting really turned on by this. I knew what was coming next and while they probably had some fears and inkling themselves, they didn''t really get it. Not really. After they sat down I looked at Lei and demanded "Throw your pistol over the edge Lei, you don''t need it anymore." I then looked at Janice demandingly and said "Janice throw that fucking knife you are hiding over the edge." "I don''t have a kni.." she started to blubber out before I pointed the gun right at her forhead and starting slowly counting down "5.... 4.... 3..." "Ok ok don''t shoot, the knife is in my boot! I am going to reach for it now so don''t kill me please!" She was sobbing and I was hard as a rock as I told her "Go ahead, nice and slow now so I don''t get the wrong idea." She slowly pulled the knife out of her boot and seeing me tense reached behind her and dropped it over the edge. "Good job girls. Now before we have our little talk about the future of this little kingdom I need you to put these on. Janice you put these on Lei first then I will put them on you." I stated confidently as I reached into my side cargo pocket and pulled out four thick plastic zip ties. I was hard before but seeing the fear in both of their eyes make it painful and oh so satisfying. They knew that they had made a huge mistake now and were going to pay for it and the fact that they weren''t sure how much payment was due made their fear even more out of control.


    I threw the zip ties to Janice with my free hand while looking at Lei and demanding "Get on your stomach. Now!" She slowly complied moving from sitting on her butt into a face down on the ground position. "Hands behind your back and cross your legs at the ankles!" She slowly complied as she put herself into place for the next command. I looked at Janice with a look of contempt and pointed at her with the gun "Use one zip tie on her legs at the ankle and use another on her wrists. Make sure they are very tight, because I will be checking them in a minute and if they aren''t tight or either of you tries anything else I will just kill you both. You have already shown your true colors to me when I gave you a choice of staying or leaving with a vehicle full of shit you would need to survive but you tried to kill me instead so I am not feeling very forgiving right now. Do you understand?" Janice quickly nodded her head. She was either a great actor or she full knew what was expected of her and what would happen if she failed. She quickly, and rather brutally I have to admit, trussed up her friend with the ties. I waved her away from Lei with the barrel of the gun and stepped closer reaching down to test the ties and they were nice and tight. I waved Janice to the ground where she stood and she immediately dropped onto her belly, hands behind her back, and legs crossed at the ankles. I knelt down, putting my knee into the small of her back and pinning her wrists together as I bound her wrists and then her ankles with the twist ties. When she was safely bound I lowered my body onto hers, grinding my hard crotch into her ass as I wrapped my arm around her throat and whispered into her ear "Good girl for following instructions so closely. You will get first choice later" I then stood up and dragged the girls by their feet over by the middle of the roof so they were side by side and squatted down in front of their faces.


    "Now girls," I began in a normal conversational tone "you both tried to kill me tonight. That doesn''t get rewarded by allowing you choices. You see I plan to be a King but that doesn''t mean I wasn''t planning on trying to be a generally decent person IF you had made the right choice to stay. I also would have upheld my offer to let you go, safely, with supplies. But that''s all gone because of your decisions to be fucking cunts. Do you know what happens to fucking cunts? " They both shook their heads no. I nodded and responded with a roar so loud and filled with rage my spittle covered their faces in little droplets "FUCKING CUNTS GET DESTROYED FOR DECADES! You could have been a citizen, but now you are just fucking slaves. I will train you, I will break you, and I will make you wish for death. But death won''t find you, not until your payment is complete because I won''t let death cheat me of my revenge. Before the fall I was a meek and mild person, I dabbled in BDSM, because I found joy in causing small amounts of pain but you ladies..." I chuckled with a dark and sinister tone "you ladies get to see the brand new me. You aren''t gonna like it for a while but I have a feeling eventually you will see things my way." I finished my speech by standing up and cutting the dirty shirt of Janice. I cut the shirt into strips and told the girls "Open your mouths and if you fucking bite me I will torture you to death over the next 4 weeks!" They quickly opened their mouths and I stuff strips of rag in place. I then tied another strip around their mouths to hold it in place and then another strip around their eyes. I grabbed Janice by her ankles and dragged her over to a series of HVAC ducts of various heights on the far side of the roof. She was crying out in pain from being dragged across the roof, the rough tar paper scraping and gouging the skin of her back from where I had stolen her shirt. When I got close to the ducts I dropped her feet, forced her onto her stomach and growled into her ear "Are you getting used and hurt tonight while I am still pissed about being shot at or is Lei. Decide before I count down to 0 or I will hurt and torture you both all night. 5... 4..." "LLLGHH" she quickly and loudly mumbled around her cloth gag. I leaned close and said "Good choice slave. You are older but still pretty hot for your age, play your cards right and you might be able to work yourself back from slave into a citizen slot. Keep that in mind over the coming weeks." Now that I had planted the seeds I quickly pulled some nylon cord from my cargo pocket and quickly hogtied her to make sure she couldn''t escape.


    I turned and slowly walked towards Lei. This is going to be a fucking GREAT apocalypse I thought to myself.