《Love Lies in London》


 Prologue: Decisive Action!

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe this bullshit!¡± Hideki slammed the magazine down on the table, rage boiling close to the surface. ¡°I trusted him! I loved him!¡± He paced like a caged cat and his hands were clenched tightly, his teeth bared and gnashing with every word, ¡°I can¡¯t believe this. He used me, used me! Lied to me!¡± He itched to lash out, to punch, to kick, to scream, to do anything to vent the frustration and naked anger. He tore his brightly colored wig off and threw it at the table too. He glared daggers at it when it slid off to the floor. His hands scrubbed through his messy black hair for want of anything else to occupy them. Even so, they clenched in his hair until it hurt.


    Lucile had never seen him so out of sorts. ¡°Calm down. You¡¯ll get past this. Everyone has something like this happen at some point in their career.¡± She frowned when he kept pacing, but at least he didn¡¯t look ready to rip his hair out anymore. While Hideki expended his pent up frustration with another lap of the seating area, she leaned back in her seat, crossed one long leg over the other and let her gaze drop to the rim of her wine glass. The dark liquid swirled while she tilted her hand side to side. ¡°He was an asshole. Not everyone¡¯s going to believe him, so what if it¡¯s a so-called tell-all book? Half of those to come out of Hollywood¡¯s disgruntled exes are bullshit to start with, and you know only idiots care. It¡¯s an attention grab. This will blow over.¡± She took a drink and watched him over the rim of the glass.


    He rounded on her and flung his arm out. His finger jabbed harshly on the face that filled the discarded magazine¡¯s cover. His own face. ¡°Not everyone¡¯s getting forced out of the closet by their exes! This is a disaster! Only Jesse and my damn parents knew!¡± He pulled his arm back, the line of every muscle in his body quivering.


    She narrowed her eyes and considered just how stressed he clearly was. ¡°This isn¡¯t the P.R. nightmare you think it is,¡± she assured, but he returned to stalking back and forth anyways. Irritation flickered across her face for a moment but she smoothed it out. She had half a mind to pace with him, but that would just lead to an evening of ranting. No, she needed to work on damage control. Now. She looked away from the magazine, to the stack of papers beside it. ¡°I mean, have you seen the scripts that have rolled in just since this morning? Your career¡¯s not over, Hideki, it¡¯s just changing. I mean, look at this!¡± She set down her wine glass and reached for the scripts, plucked the top one off the pile, ¡°They want you to play the love interest in a romantic comedy - a gay romantic comedy - and this one,¡± she picked up the next, ¡°a coming of age, coming out story?¡±


    It wasn¡¯t Hideki¡¯s usual fare. Not by a long shot. But if she didn¡¯t get his attention away from the disaster of his love life, she¡¯d never get him to stop pacing, stop venting his anger. She would lose him to it.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to be type casted! I want to play a character, not a stereotype!¡± Hideki dropped to the couch and covered his face with his hands, a picture of defeat and despair, but at least he wasn¡¯t pacing any longer. ¡°And what about my music? All those love songs, people are gonna call them bullshit now.¡±


    Her heart went out to him at how plaintive he sounded and she took a moment to close her eyes and draw in a deep breath before redoubling her efforts. ¡°You¡¯ll get through this. We just need to prepare the right statements. The reporters won¡¯t leave you alone until you speak up on the situation. We can work with it. You can finally be yourself. No more fake girlfriends, no more lying about yourself.¡±


    His expression barely budged. ¡°Some of those girlfriends were real, Lucile. I cared about them even if I wasn¡¯t attracted to them like that.¡± He looked like he had more he wanted to say, but his eyes fell to the scripts. ¡°But¡­¡± he reached for them and flipped listlessly through the stack while glancing at the titles. It felt like a useless endeavor. No-name writers angling for a big name actor desperate not to watch their own careers crash and burn. He was sure that¡¯s all any of these were. They were like vultures come to circle when things were at their worst.


    ¡°Here, just¡­ pick one that speaks to you. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll find one.¡± She sat the two she held down upon the pile. ¡°Pick one that speaks to you, and I¡¯ll handle the arrangements, get everything together for you, and get the team on putting together your summer music tour in cooperation with the filming schedule. All you have to do is think about what you want to say to the press, and pick your next film. It¡¯s not all bad this week, I mean, your new album went double platinum. Nothing is over. I promise.¡±


    ¡°This is exhausting,¡± he grumbled as he collapsed onto the couch across from her. His hands dragged over his face, and then he let his attention go back to the scripts he¡¯d nearly written off. He picked up the first and started skimming. ¡°I didn¡¯t expect any of this, you know? I was just teaching English in Japan for a couple years, that¡¯s what I thought I was going to do, just go to my mother¡¯s homeland and teach my father¡¯s language.¡± He gesticulated with the script, ¡°Next thing I know, a night of karaoke with some co-workers turns into entering a talent contest turns into winning turns into,¡± he paused, gestured grandly at the room all around them, ¡°all of this. Everything. It¡¯s been¡­ what, five years?¡±


    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    ¡°A bit over,¡± she confirmed, ¡°and you¡¯ve done so much, Hideki, you¡¯ve done so much. You¡¯re so talented and bright, you¡¯re going to pull through this all just fine. You are the most in-demand Japanese actor in Hollywood. I don¡¯t think Jessie¡¯s tell-all is going to change that. It might even make you more in demand, I mean, just look. This whole stack, just for you, and they don¡¯t want you for main supporting actor, they don¡¯t want you for the lead¡¯s best friend, or the too-smart for his own good tech support or the cannon fodder, they want you in a leading, headliner role. You can branch out and stay relevant. You can do this, because you are Hideki-fucking-Sano and I believe in you.¡±


    She believed in him. Hideki searched her face and found nothing there but unconditional love and acceptance. He was silent for a moment then his attention turned downward as he bowed over a script. He licked his lips and took a deep breath. ¡°Lucile¡­ thank you. Look, I¡¯m still upset, okay? But I¡¯m not giving up. You¡¯re right, and I¡¯ll try my best.¡±


    <hr>


    It took some doing to get himself ready, but he made his statement to the press later that evening, full of his typical energy and good cheer. His public persona was on in full force and when it was all over, he walked away sure he¡¯d charmed them back to his side of matters. Jesse wasn¡¯t going to win. He wasn¡¯t going to let him.


    He went on to pull an all night script reading and by the morning after, he¡¯d narrowed the scripts down to two possibilities. After a long deliberation he¡¯d made his decision by lunch; In London and In Love, an insightful romantic comedy. Hideki felt a kinship with Jiro Mizuno, the university student he¡¯d been requested to play, and Jiro sounded just as lost as Hideki felt. The script was funny and warm and far different from what he was usually cast to play. It felt like a new challenge, and one he was ready to face.


    Just as promised, Lucile handled everything else for him; the meetings, arrangements, paperwork, everything. It gave Hideki some blessed free time to work through what had happened to him. Jesse was hardly the first man to lie to him, but his lies cut the deepest.


    Jesse was using him for his money and his fame. At the end of the day, Jesse didn¡¯t love Hideki: he loved himself. For the past four years, Jesse had soaked in the prestige of being ¡®close personal friends¡¯ with a multi-talented star. Now that he¡¯d outed himself to the public as Hideki¡¯s former lover he¡¯d shot himself even further into the lime light.


    His messy breakup with Jesse set off a lot of self reflection. These days it felt like nobody ever told him the truth. It was that simple. Everywhere he went, everything he did, people lined up to sing his praises and ingratiate themselves to him. Fame and fortune. He had it and they either wanted it or wanted to profit from it. It was becoming too hard to trust people and, just for a while, he needed to get away. The dishonesty and two-faced lies were becoming too much.


    Obviously, he reflected, his first mistake had just lead to a very public breakup with Jesse. It was hard enough being forced out of the closet, but he had a feeling that the public would become obsessed with the whole thing and having his love life on display all day every day was going to be too much on top of everything else. This last straw was the stupid book Jesse was publishing, a so-called tell-all that Hideki was positive would be full of self-aggrandizing lies.


    Hideki realized now that Jesse did little else but lie, and he realized something else about the other people who claimed to care about him. He realized that many of them only cared about being able to drop his name, or having a rich friend. He missed the days when he could just go wherever he wanted without everyone hounding him, without people asking him questions or making demands of him. But that was a luxury long lost to him now. His face was everywhere, posters, billboards, televisions. There was no privacy left to him¡­. Or, almost no privacy.


    Hideki Sano always wore his stage persona in public: brightly colored wigs and matching contacts. There was still a chance for him to steal away some semblance of normalcy, some little bit of private time alone out in the middle of a crowd. It was possible that London could be just such a chance. He could find a night where he had enough free time to slip away, just for an evening, here and there. Disguise himself and steal back some sweet hours of normalcy. He could go spend an evening at a bar or something. Have some drinks, maybe even make some friends. He used to do it all the time, until fame stole his life from him.


    He decided, then and there, that he would take his life back.