《21st Century Lads》 Prologue- The Fated Day ¡°Breakfa-¡± ¡°Deposit the food on the floor mother¡± Damn woman thinking she can come in ¡°Please?¡± Mothers¡¯ ever so sickeningly sweet voice murmers through my locked door *Sigh* ¡°Please¡± Ugh who gives a damn about that word, like it makes everything so much bloody better Faintly hearing footsteps down stairs, I unlock my door and crawl outside, grabbing the foot ¡­ .. . ¡°AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH¡± ¡­ (Another¡¯s POV) *Fap¡­pant pant¡­fap* ¡°Slowly does it, deep breath, one¡­two. Ah yes Emma splash around more, oh yes¡± *Splurt* ¡­ .. . ¡°AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH¡± ¡­ (Another¡¯s Another¡¯s POV) ¡°So using Rice¡¯s theorem we can then prove tha-¡± Shit need a fart, dammit, not in the middle of a lecture! Gulping, I take a quick peek at the people around me, all either asleep, on their phones or actually attentively listen-nope she¡¯s browsing dresses. Right, I hope I can get away with it *Bfrbphrbrhhbrpphbrbb* ¡­ .. . Oh shit that wasn¡¯t a fart Rolling the fuck through the lecture hall, I wheel myself to the toilet, wrinkling my nose at the smell emanating from my se---at. Of course the bloody disabled is being used by some non-disabled twat who can¡¯t bother waiting for the actual toilet. Shit shit shit, literally!A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. Pushing my way into the normal men¡¯s toilets, I throw open a cubicle door, rolling to and hoisting myself onto a toilet, clinging onto it as I drag my trousers off mid hoist. Fuck anyone who sees, this is what they get for using the disabled, and of course the welling up shit is getting worse¡­oh fuck *Brbrbphrbbrhbrphb* ¡°AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH¡± ¡­ (Another¡¯s Another¡¯s Another¡¯s POV) ¡°Mmm delicious¡± ¡°Oh dear don¡¯t be so kind, tell me what¡¯s wrong with it?¡± The blonde beauty who is cooking me dinner scolds me lightly with a well used wooden spoon from the distance. ¡°It¡¯s just simply delicious¡± Smiling at her, I stand up pushing the empty plate away, before giving her a quick kiss. ¡°But I¡¯ve got work now so no time for more of your cooking shenanigans¡± Taking the jacket from the coat hanger, I jump in my car and drive home, fast. Bursting my apartment door open, the toilet is first thing in my mind and sight as I heave all the stir fried rice without even kneeling ¡°AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH¡± ¡­ (King Yark¡¯s POV) Today is the fated day,- the day upon where 7 moons align and the 24 mighty heroes shall be summoned, one for each hour of our day they appear in our lands ready protect us from the Demonkin, Beastkin and many other non-human kin who try to wipe us off the face of the earth. Today is the fated day that shall be marked down in history to be remembered in celebrations and mirth or to be fearfully remembered by our enemies in bothterror and awe. Today is that fated day, but Fiera has laidthree sorry looking fools at my feet, and onlyone who shows some promise to truly being a fated hero. The first was a man, summoned naked and crawling, stinking like a lowly peasant, his unkempt hair and body only accentuating his squalor-like conditions. He refused to give his name, or talk beyond a few words, the majority being: leave me alone. The second was a short, fat and spotty kid but that is an understated description of how enormously round and wobbly the child is and how spot riddled his face is. He was summoned, member in hand, spreading his seed to the wind with a face as if he had run a lap around the city. He fell unconscious after finishing, something to do with his heart is what the physician said. Hardly surprising¡­ The third summoned hero was at least tall, somewhat average looking, with a beaked nose and lightly tanned skin but anything mildly positive about him stops there. His summoning was equally as bad, explosive poo bursting from his rear onto the summoners just moments before his body planted into the ground, rear dangling in the air. He was arrogant, telling everyone to¡­fuck off, whatever the words themselves meant, the sentence was clear enough by his tone of voice, when we tried to help him stand. Apparently he stubbornly crawled through all the way to the throne room upon Fiera¡¯s direction and at the sight of his twig-like spindly legs I understand why. The last mingy hero that was summoned was better than the rest, appearance-wise, with his curly blond hair and clean face. He too was summoned with a nasty projectile, this time from the mouth in form of barely digested rice and meats. At least he was clothed unlike the rest of them. He was actually receptive and even nice, so all of my hopes currently lie on him. Even though a priest had stumbled here earlier to warn me of their appearances and first impressions, seeing them in person truly bangs the nail to the tree: the fat one lying unconscious, head on Fiera¡¯s lap, another still crawling through the room, trousers hoisted up but I can still smell the waft of feces even from this distance. The third crouched in a corner, thankfully clothed but eyes dart behind it¡¯s messy splodge of hair filled with venom and the last one non-chalantly speaks with Fiera, who looks just as part of these mismatched heroes due to the 5 different kind of liquids staining her clothes and body. *Sigh* This is my fated heroes, and this is the fated day that will be remembered as the biggest screw up in my history or even human history if they truly are as unheroic as they seem¡­and worst part is: there¡¯s another 20 of them to summon yet. ................................................................................................................................................................................... Author''s Corner: Hey haing massive writers block, so beginning on this randomness instead. Please comment if you''re interested in it!!! 1. Not Becoming Heroes (King Yark¡¯s POV) ¡°Welcome Heroes, to the Kingdom of Ardanic. You have been summoned to be our protectors in the war against the demonkind and beastmen who ar-¡± ¡°Excuse me, did you just say beastmen?¡± The crawling youth interrupts me, does he not know respect? I suspect not, but I guess I can tolerate their lack of manners for now. ¡°Yes there are beastmen and we are at wa-where are you going?¡± The crawling man had turned himself around and began crawling away. ¡°Off to find the beastmen duh¡± He is already so zealous towards our cause then? That would be perfect if he were not a cripple. ¡°You furry piece of shit¡± Finally words utter from the one on the corner, malicious words indeed. The crawling man stops and glares at the one in the corner. This may get out of hand. ¡°Oh you na?ve little person, thinking that hairless flesh is at all attractive, oh how you do not understand the beauty of a tail or cue ears to rub¡± His tone isn¡¯t exactly of the raging zeal I expected ¡°I fully understand a tail you furry freak, but not hairy and freaky, a most majestic tail is hard and leathery li-¡± ¡°Unfuckingbeliveable. Out of 8 billion bloody people that could¡¯ve been summoned I had to be bloody paired with a fucking scaly. That¡¯s disgusting¡± ¡°Take that back, scales are sexy and royal. Your fur is shitstained and bestial¡± ¡°You take that back scaly, come over here so I can kick your ass¡± ¡°Kick, you can¡¯t even stand you furry cripple¡± ¡°And you look like you came from the ring, scaly arsehole, eugh I threw up inside just thinking about that¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you be insult-¡± ¡°EMMA OH¡± The fat one awakes abruptly, pausing the heating argument between two of my sorry heroes and it takes him a long moment to see what is happening. Sitting up, he glazes around, eyes resting on Fiera¡¯s as she scuttles back and away from him. ¡°Wo-wo-wo-¡± ¡°Hey kid, what¡¯s your name¡± The curly blond man kneels next to the flustering child and lays a gentle hand on his shoulder. ¡°Sean. Where am I?¡± His accent is foreign with a twanging accent, a pig-like version of this language even. ¡°Some fantasy land by the sound of it¡± ¡°Fantasy? Like mermaids?¡± His eyes become saucepans. I¡¯ve already lost hope with the two ¡®heroes¡¯ that named eachother furry and scaly¡­since I believe it meant they were sympathisers of those monsters, but don¡¯t let me lose another one on such a vile creature. ¡°Do mermaids exist?¡± The blond one looks at me with a questioning brow. ¡°Beneath the sea somewhere, but those mo-¡± ¡°MERMAIDS, can we go see the mermaids¡± The kid starts panting and I spot the physician on standby inching closer pre-emptively ¡°We can but calm down, we¡¯ve got a few things to figure out first¡± The blond gives him a pat on the head. Wait a second, things are getting out of hand, two are quietly arguing to eachother about something I don''tunderstand,another is fantasizing about those disgusting mermaids but at least the last is keeping some semblance of heroism about himself, I¡¯m just meant to get them excited about being heroes then handing them over to Major Markell for training. ¡°I believe you all should listen¡± I stand up, getting serious ¡°These beastmen and mermaids and scalys you talk of are but monsters, vile, disgusting creatu-¡± ¡°How do you know that?¡± The blond questions me, oh do not fall to the dark side that these others have seemingly gone to aswell. ¡°Because they invade our borders and kill our people, no respectable being kills another human¡± and just look at them, their entire visage is actually horrifying. My stomach even feels queasy just thinking about how they procreate. ¡°So you say you don¡¯t have civil wars?¡± Ah perhaps my words weren¡¯t as correct as they should have been ¡°Not for a thousand years, since we are surrounded by vicious and evil monsters, demons and even the undead we cannot afford the time to fight one another¡± His eyebrows raise momentarily in surprise ¡°¡­Well in our world there¡¯s just humans and we kill eachother over basically nothing at most points.¡± That sounds most wonderful, apart from the killing eachother ¡°so I believe all of us are simply curious to see new creatures which were a pleasant fantasy in our world¡± So showing them the creatures would dissuade them from the enemy¡¯s grasp? I should note this for the later heroes too. ¡°As heroes you will of course be travelling to all these lands-¡± ¡°Killing them all?¡± The crawling man interrupts me once more. I have many manners unlike you boy, but they do not last forever. ¡°Of course what else would you do with them¡± ¡°Oh don¡¯t even get him started, I don¡¯t want to hear his bestiality related bucket list ¡± ¡°As if your list is any better¡± ¡°of course it is, it¡¯s not with fucking animals¡± ¡°Like lizards are better, oh it makes me want to throw up¡± ¡°Dragons, not fucking lizards, Magestic Dragons¡± ¡°ALRIGHT YOU TWO¡± The blond one snaps his fingers, garnering their attention ¡°How about we pay a visit to the beastmen and find ourselves a dragon too¡± He looks towards me in confirmation that dragons exist. They do, but they are scarce and dangerous, extremely dangerous. Mumbles of approval and dissent from the two. ¡°And mermaids¡± ¡°Yes and mermaids too Sean¡± He turns back to me his usual nice visage warped with a look of restlessness ¡°Now King, I¡¯m going to tell you three things which is the simple truth. Firstly, we¡¯re not heroes, I mean look at us: we¡¯ve got a cripple, someone who looks like they haven¡¯t seen the sun or a shower for way too long, an obese kid and me who is far less heroic than some in this room¡± I knew that but kinks in armour can be remolded and reshaped to work again ¡°Secondly we¡¯re not killers, in fact I don¡¯t think any of us would actually be alright or even able to kill anything¡± ¡°Nah I¡¯m cool with killing things¡± ¡°Ditto, especially furry animals¡± ¡°Ooh killing, like COD?!¡± ¡°hahh¡­not exactly like COD but close enough. But what if I said you had to kill beastmen like you want to see¡± ¡°Yeah fuck that, that isn¡¯t happening¡± ¡°I mean totally¡± ¡°If you harm my catladies I will rip into you¡± ¡°Ooh I¡¯d love to see you catch me lest actually catch a catlady wahaha¡± ¡°Alright you two, simmer down for now. Right so King, you see we¡¯re not wanting to kill indiscriminately, just for bad reasons¡± He looks at the one in the corner who was about to interrupt. So they¡¯re not killers, that¡¯ll change quickly in this world, so I¡¯m not too worried about that, plus I¡¯ll just make sure their missions don¡¯t clash with their likes? I¡¯m confused whether they like these beasts or something more? ¡°Thirdly is fuck being a hero¡± ¡­ ..If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. . Wait what? The blond begins walking away as his words sink in, he doesn¡¯t want to be a hero, but why not? It¡¯s the dream of literally all the citizens in this nation, why does he not want to be regaled by the masses? ¡°Wait a second, why don¡¯t you want to be a hero?¡± ¡°Because it will be hard, stressful and I won¡¯t have the freedom to randomly travel around without being hailed or attacked because of my status, so I¡¯m rather fine making my own way in this world. But ah wait, since you did forcibly summon us here, I would like some compensation, human rights as it were, so that me and these others can get on our feet¡± He¡¯s demanding something from his king? Afterstarting to walk out on me being point blank rude towards me?How DARE he! Who does he think he is being so disrespectful towards me, a KING!? I¡¯ll teach him and the other some manner in my dungeons! ¡°GUARDS¡± ¡°My lord¡± Fiera jumps to a bow before me as I take a step down. ¡°These are heroes and cannot be touched under Rikcha¡¯s Law¡± ¡­Oh divines help me. I wave the guards back to their posts ¡°Fine but these lot aren¡¯t allowed to just walk out the palace and waste the lives of our summoners!¡± May died in the attempt to summon them. I can''t just let them waltz out. ¡°Actually¡­they are¡± Oh divines you have got to be kidding me ¡°A heroes path is never pre-determined, they must choose their own path and we must abide by it, as they will fulfil their duties as hero guided by Rikcha¡¯s hands¡± ¡°Right so how is fucking a dragon fulfilling our duty as a hero?¡± The one crawling towards the exit looks at Fiera confusedly. ¡­Fucking a dragon, what kind of messed up notion is that? ¡°Er, Rikcha knows, I can only assume that it helps¡± She doesn¡¯t seem sure at all, damn the power of the divines of the people. if it were in my right i''d have them beheaded on the spot. ¡°¡­Right. Perfect¡± He nods still digesting the information. The blond claps his hands ¡°So now that we¡¯ve been given the ok, how about we leave the palace and try find, erm¡­¡± ¡°An adventurer¡¯s guild? It seems like the best place to start from especially as they travel around a lot like I¡¯m planning to do.¡± The one in the corner speaks up, oh so he is knowledgeable about our world then? ¡°Right so goodbye you scaly shit¡± ¡°No you must stay together¡± Fiera jumps up towards the crawling man ¡°Look at me go¡± He continues crawling ¡°I mean no offense m¡¯lady Fiera, but why would I want to stick with these people?¡± ¡°Because you are bound together¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°So it¡¯s not a choice?¡± His crawling abates somewhat ¡°One hundred kilometres in the most distance you can put upon one another¡± ¡°Wait that¡¯s supposed to stop us from separating?¡± And he¡¯s back to crawling away. He¡¯s rather annoying me. ¡°That isn¡¯t nearly as far enough away from the furry freak¡± ¡°Same to you, you scaly whore¡± ¡°You don¡¯t understand, one hundred kilometres isn¡¯t far and if you separate even a metre more, you will all die¡± ¡°So what if one of us accidentally teleports to the end of the world¡± ¡°You all die. It has happened before and if any one of you die, the rest of you die too¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°Well shit, guess like we¡¯re stuck with eachother¡± The mostly unspoken rule of heroes, when summoned they are linked to one another, and any break in this link, whether it be death or distance kills all. Snapping my fingers, I get my physician to distribute a forgetfulness potion to all my guard and himself, since the rule is only known within royalty and the priesthood. ¡°Yes, so don¡¯t try to harm eachother or run away, it¡¯s vital you all live and work together¡± ¡°But how do I go see the mermaids?¡± Sean is finally standing, wobbling his way over to Fiera with tears lurking in his eyes ¡°We¡¯ll take you there¡± The blond one speaks up ¡°Hey what about my beastladies?¡± ¡°Forget that what about my dragonladies?¡± ¡°He¡¯s the ACTUAL kid here so why don¡¯t we help him first¡± ¡°But he won¡¯t even get to enjoy the best part of meeting them¡± ¡°Yeah I¡¯m actually with him here, I mean he looks barely 12¡± ¡°I¡¯m 14 and I can¡¯t wait to have sex with one¡± Did he just say¡­so that means the others were talking about¡­these humans are extremely messed up. I can¡¯t believe these are supposed to be one sixth of the fated heroes of the humans¡­and I can¡¯t even touch them directly due to Rikcha¡¯s law. ¡°eww 14 year old fucking a mermaid, don¡¯t need that image in my head¡± ¡°I¡¯m amazed anything but fur is in your head¡± ¡°Stop bickering you two, right since Sean actually knows about that but he¡¯s 14 I say we have the oldest member choose what we¡¯re doing. I¡¯m 26 which makes me the oldest¡± ¡°Hang on a sec, why do you get to make the decisions, just because you¡¯re the oldest?¡± the crawling one whines ¡°Because I¡¯ve actually lived in the world so I¡¯m the most experienced¡± ¡°If we¡¯re going with experience I¡¯m definitely the winner, plus I¡¯m 32¡± The one in the corner stands up, rather proudly¡± ¡°You¡¯re not only a scaly, you¡¯re a basement freak, just perfect¡± ¡°And you¡¯re sooo much better being a furry¡± ¡°At least I did something with my life called university¡± ¡°Masters in Computer Science, fucking useless thank you¡± ¡°Oh don¡¯t bloody tell me that, I¡¯m doing that¡± ¡°You guys did Compsci as well? Bloody hell there might actually be a reason why we were all summoned¡± ¡°I¡¯m 14, what is computer science?¡± ¡°Nevermind¡± All three chime as they look at Sean ¡°Right so as the oldest and most experienced, Fiera is there a dragon queen or something similar?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know but dragons used to rule the lands millennia¡¯s ago so it is a possibility¡± ¡°Perfect then let¡¯s go find a dragon queen!¡± ¡°Wait a second, millennia¡¯s ago, you expect us just to piss about trying to find one how about we do something more viable like find the beastman ruler?¡± ¡°Ew you don¡¯t care about its gender, vile furry¡± ¡°Experience is different but it can be fun either way¡± ¡°I¡¯m with er¡­the crippled one here¡± ¡°Billy and disabled please, we¡¯re still politically correct people¡± ¡°Talking about fucking animals, yeah totally¡± ¡°And Mermaids¡± ¡°I could actually get under that too since fish scales might be nice too¡± ¡°I¡¯m actually disgusted at the thought¡± ¡°ALRIGHT since we all want to do our own bloody thing, how about we leave it to Fiera to decide what we should do first¡± ¡°Excuse me but what are you planning to do, since we¡¯ve got Fucking a mermaid, dragon queen or beastmen ruler?¡± ¡°Mermaid queen, too, I want to fuck one too¡± ¡°Unlike all of you who have virgile fantasies, I want to meet a vampiress¡± ¡°Twilight fanboy alert¡± ¡°Holy shit and I thought it was bad enough meeting a furry, nevermind a furry is way worse¡± ¡°But aren¡¯t mermaids better?¡± ¡°Firstly, twilight is shit, secondly I like them cold¡± ¡°Oh¡­my fucking god I can¡¯t believe you just said that¡± ¡°Urp, oh that¡¯s disgusting, and I¡¯m actually with Scaly over here¡± ¡°I¡¯m Drake you furry but yeah oh god, how and why that¡¯s just vile¡± ¡°What does he like cold?¡± ¡°He fucks dead people¡± ¡°Way to be politically correct, jeesh he¡¯s 14 and like any of you are any better¡± ¡°Ew, dead people that sounds gross¡± "We like living thins, it''s a lot better" ¡°You guys wouldn¡¯t understand¡± ¡°Please don¡¯t tell me, I¡¯ve got enough nightmares with Furry and his orgylike fantasy¡± ¡°It¡¯s not going to be an orgy just a threeway at most¡± ¡°Oh please stop only with one can you fully experience their body as a whole¡± ¡°You sound like a fucking cannibal, actually are you one too?¡± ¡°Ew no, eating people is disgusting¡± ¡°But fucking dead one¡¯s isn¡¯t¡± ¡°it¡¯s different¡± ¡°Actually an orgy would be good, me and many mermaids¡± *BLAARHGHGHAGHH* The extraordinarily vile conversation stops abruptly as Fiera throws up on the floor, heaving all her insides out due to all all the vividly disgusting mental imagery that I¡¯m also receiving from the dialogue. If I had any power to kill them, I certainly would, but then again even the founder of our church, Bishop Larks had a dark side to him; forcing all initiates to be subjected to a gangrape from all the older members¡­ Luckily the public never knew much about that, but once again the royalty knows everything¡­sometimes too much. ¡°Sorry Fiera, we¡¯ll try to not talk so vividly about it from now on when around you, alright guys?¡± A mumble of consent ¡°Diving Rikcha please have mercy on your devoted apostle, don¡¯t curse me with the burden of these monstrous things I am forced to call hero¡± I just barely hear her whispering prayer. The once blessing of being Rikcha¡¯s apostle was to accompany the heroes and be their guidance in this world¡­seems like a most horrifying curse in this scenario. ¡°So Fiera what is our first big quest going to be?¡± All of them look at her expectantly, like children asking their mother to buy them sweets at a stall.. ¡­ ¡°My King, Rentro approaches with his heroes¡± Oh please let them be better than last time. ¡°Upon my wish, four grand looking heroes march through the doorway and I stand up exhilarated. ¡°Welcome Heroes to the Kingdom of Ardanic. You have been summoned to be our protectors in the war against the demonkind an-¡± ¡°Excuse me but did you say demons?¡± OH NOT AGAIN!!! 2. Figuring out what theyre doing (Fiera¡¯s POV) ¡°Barmaid 4 Tankards of ale, and whatever else they¡¯re having¡± The worried looking barmaid doesn¡¯t ask questions and quickly skirts around the table asking my new nightmares what they want to drink. The cripple, Billy, asks for milk, ponce not much of a surprise since he can¡¯t walk. Drake, the creepy quiet and all around freaky fellow asks for some ale. At least he can drink like a man. The fatso, Sean gets a glass of milk too, 14 isn¡¯t of age yet but that freakishly large and sexually minded kid is definitely beyond his age¡­and not in a good way. And the scariest of them all, seemingly normal except for his tastes¡­is Bram. I so thought he was ok, even apologising when he threw up all over me, unlike the others when they appeared and shattered all my hopes and dreams without even a slightly apologetic look. They were supposed to be heroes, the stuff of legends and I was supposed to guide them, maybe fall in love with one, maybe all of them¡­but that little fantasy has been ripped from its root without mercy. Bram had been my final hope and that was unerringly shattered when he told me¡­urp stop thinking about it. I trust in Rikcha and am forever in his service¡­but I¡¯m not going to enjoy any part of it that¡¯s for sure. Bram orders water¡­well that¡¯s just sad. Seriously get some alcohol, Divines know I need it. Anyways alcohol is in front of me so let the drinking begin. *Gulpgulpgulpgulpgulpgulpgulpgulpgulp-* ¡°Erm, aren¡¯t you a priestess?¡± Bram raises an eyebrow at me as I violently chug the bitter ale. ¡°Ahhhhh. I¡¯m an apostle, I get freedom from many sins but in return I am given tasks beyond the normal priest¡­like helping you people¡± I almost forgot, ontop of them being completely and utterly horrible people they also know nothing about this world. Lapsing into silence, we all drink quickly¡­well in my case anyway. At least Billy isn¡¯t whining about being carried everywhere anymore: he gave in as we reached the streets¡­since it has been raining and it is very muddy I doubted he¡¯d want to crawl along that. Although I did half expect him to¡­ ¡°So¡­Fiera¡± Oh no they¡¯re going to talk to me again, better get started on number 2 ¡°What is your decision¡± Dammit almost forgot about that...I actually get to set them on their path, Rikcha definitely has a hand in this. I must not screw it up¡­must not. ¡°Ahhhh. We¡¯re¡­going to find the elves¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°Why?¡± All 4 of them look at me funny. ¡°Because that¡¯s what I want to do, and at least they don¡¯t kill humans on sight unlike everything else you are planning to do!¡± ¡°Yeah but none of us care about the elves?¡± Sean points out as more of a question. ¡°They¡¯re just pointy eared humans right?¡± Billy raises his voice curiously and the bar goes ever so slightly quieter ¡°Furry you really should do your homework more often, elves are the near immortal beings famous for their magical affinity and archery skills¡­and yes their pointy ears. They¡¯re not as dull as the normal human¡± ¡°Elves are slaves, basically¡± I put down my drink¡­fools don¡¯t know anything about this world and they already want to go out and find a dragon! Hah, I¡¯d let them if it didn¡¯t mean me dying as well¡­ ¡°They were conquered by us a few decades ago and we have a sort of peace with them: they teach special individuals magic and we don¡¯t murder and enslave them. It mostly works¡± ¡°So we¡¯re going to see them to learn magic? But why couldn¡¯t we just go to a human mage?¡± ¡°Because most of them are busy and why would they want to waste their time teaching you anyways? Plus they¡¯re not legally allowed to teach anyways, not after the first few fiascos¡± I did mention the heroes that got teleported and died didn¡¯t I? ¡°Well I guess off to the elves then¡­¡± Bram rolls his eyes ¡°But magic Twilight Fanboy, it¡¯ll be awesome!¡± ¡°Already told you I don¡¯t like Twilight¡± ¡°The first spell I¡¯m learning is to shut Scaly up¡± ¡°I¡¯ll make sure mine is to kill you or even better turn you into a lizard¡± ¡°Please don¡¯t I don¡¯t want to get fucked by you multiple ways¡± ¡°Ew, dragons not bloody lizards¡± ¡°Same thing¡± ¡°Is not you absolute tw-¡± *Bang* ¡°You two, shut up! We¡¯re going to the elves, but first I¡¯m going to teach you how to fight, tomorrow¡­there¡¯s a room for you all upstairs and yes you¡¯re going to learn how to sleep in the same room without killing eachother so good luck. MAID, 3 MORE¡± I hope the ale knocks me out before I bash my head on the table enough to do the job. ¡°Fine¡± they all groan before getting back to their drinks in awkward silence. ¡­ *Chirp chirp* Ahugh it burns. Oh the sun, it hurrrts. Sitting up¡­come on body sit up, oh wait I¡¯m lying on my front. Push up body! *Groan* My eyes are so crusty¡­it¡¯s like a cried them shut. Ugh I don¡¯t feel so good¡­ How much did I drink last night? I remember the conversation about the elves at the beginning¡­and then woke up¡­here? ¡­ .. . Where am i? Craning my stiff neck around the spinny room¡­I¡¯m on the floor and I see three, no four empty bedsYou could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story. ¡­ .. . Am I in their room? Oh god, why am I in their room? What happened last night? *Shiver* Where are my clothes ¡­ .. . WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?! Jumping up and stumbling around, I look around for my clothes but don¡¯t find them anywhere¡­Please Rikcha don¡¯t tell me I¡­urp oh I want to die. Peeking out the door into the silent corridor, I race to where my room is supposed to be and sure enough see my own clothes there. Here¡¯s my robe¡­and my hat. Where are the rest of my clothes? Groggily searching around the room reveals nothing else but my staff of priestdom. I¡¯m going to find those bastards and have them confess what they did to me last night. As if they weren¡¯t already horrible enough before. Stumbling down the stairs, holding the robe down in case of winds, I make it to the bar and ask the innkeep about my companions. ¡°Oh that lot? Left quite early. Good that their gone, their glumness was killing the mood quite a bit¡± If you knew they were some of the ¡®great¡¯ heroes everyone is wishing to be or meet. ¡°Hope you had fun at least¡± Thanking him, I trod outside and to the exit of the city¡­I mean where else would they go? Buggers most likely tried to skip town while I was asleep. It seems like it¡¯s heavily past midday, I slept for quite a while it seems. Ignoring more than a few stares coming my way, I make it outside and walk straight towards a group of familiar looking people, who are not so far way hunting the rabbits that graze the expansive field. ¡°Hey Furry there¡¯s a rabbit, how about you crawl over and give it a little taste of your shrivelled cock¡± He points at a hopping rabbit with his crossbow. ¡°How about I kill it, shove it down your throat and let you choke on it¡± ¡°Nah I think you prefer deepthroats¡± ¡°Seriously you two, just bloody kill the thing already¡± ¡°But it¡¯s a cute rabbit, why are we killing it?¡± Sean looks up at Bram who is currently wiping his new rapier on Sean¡¯s clothes. ¡°I mean Fiera¡¯s money isn¡¯t going to last forever and her underwear money is already go-¡± ¡°SO IT WAS YOU¡± ¡°Oh sh-¡± ¡°YOU ABSOLUTE DIVINE DAMNED BASTARDS. HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY CLOTHES AND MONEY AFTER TAKING ME ON THE FLOOR OF YOUR ROOM. HOW DARE YOU¡± ¡°We di-¡± ¡°I DON¡¯T WANT TO HEAR A WORD OF IT, RETURN ME MY MONEY AND MY CLOTHES AND THEN WE¡¯LL GO STRAIGHT TO THE BLOODY ELVES¡± ¡°About tha-¡± ¡°NOW¡± I AM DONE WITH THESE PEOPLE, WE ARE HEADED TO THE ELVES AND IF THEY DIE THEY BLOODY WELL DIE. ¡°There¡¯s no money left¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°WHAT. HOW HAVE YOU SPENT ALL MY MONEY, ALL OF IT!!?¡± ¡°Well camping equipment, weapons and condiments really¡± Not a complete waste since it was what I¡¯d planned to do with it anyways but still, how have they spent all that gold already, on just that! ¡°Give me my clothes then¡± ¡°Yeah¡­kind of sold it as a trade for some pots¡± ¡°¡­you¡­sold my clothes for pots¡­FOR POTS!?¡± ¡°Yeah we kind of need so-¡± ¡°FIRSTLY IT¡¯S ILLEGAL TO SELL WOMEN¡¯S UNDERGARMENTS SO HOW IN THE NAME OF RIKCHA YOU SOLD THEM I HAVE NO IDEA AND SECONDLY HOW IS IT POSSIBLE YOU SOLD IT FOR JUST THAT. I¡¯M A VIRGIN APOSTLE OF RIKCHA, THEY¡¯RE WORTH AT LEAST A HORSE¡± ¡°Oh you were a virgin? The sounds you made definitely didn¡¯t acquit to that¡± Bram gives me a slow understanding nod. ¡°OH DON¡¯T YOU DAAARE TELL ME YOU RAPED ME AS WELL, RIKCHA BE DAMNED IF YOU DID I¡¯LL KILL YOU MYSELF RIGHT NOW¡± ¡°We didn¡¯t do anything I swear on whoever the hell is in charge in this world. You just picked a random guy and took him upstairs, next time we saw you was when you burst into our room, tossed your underwear at us screaming at us to sell them like the whore you are and then passed out on the floor¡± ¡­ .. . Staring at all their faces incredulously, not a single flicker of lies appear at all. ¡°So¡­I really¡­¡± *Slump* ¡°Yeah, you are loud must I say¡± Drake cleans his ears annoyed ¡°Don¡¯t look too distraught the first time happens that way often. Plus he was quite a looker, might¡¯ve had a piece myself if he had a tail, ears and some fur, maybe some extra canines would be a good addition too¡­¡± ¡°Guys let the poor woman console herself¡­she doesn¡¯t even remember it, making the whole experience worthless¡± ¡°Worthless¡­yeah you¡¯re right, I am worthless. I¡¯ve sinned against my Divine and now I¡¯m truly worthless¡± I can¡¯t believe I let my drunk self do such a thing, desecrate my holy temple to my God¡­ ¡°Wait aren¡¯t you allowed to sin?¡± Bram comes up to me, squatting in front. ¡°Desecrating the body that has been given to my Divine is not allowed and there¡¯s only one thing I can do to amend it¡± ¡°Don¡¯t kill yourself we kind of need you¡­plus your underwear sells for quite a few pans¡± *Twitch* ¡°I have to kill the one who made me sin¡± ¡°¡­Totally makes sense of course¡± Something about that tone wasn¡¯t sincere ¡°Well off to kill some random stranger then I guess¡± Drake starts waltzing in the general direction ¡°What did he look like and where did he go?¡± ¡°Tall, dark, muscular and a jaw to smash stones with¡± Billy nods satisfactory at his memory ¡°don¡¯t know where he went to though, apart from your bedroom¡± ¡°He went to Elushha forest you Furry failure¡± ¡°Elushha you said?¡± I know that place, in the wrong damned direction it is ¡°Yep, he and his party were doing something it seems¡± ¡°To Elushha forest it is then!¡± ¡°Wait a second, weren¡¯t we heading to the elves to learn magic or something?¡± Bram raises an eyebrow ¡°We¡¯re. Going. To. Elushha. Forest. To. Kill. This. Man¡± ¡°But he and his party looked pretty strong and well equipped too¡± Billy makes a good point but I don¡¯t care! ¡°Then you better train from here to there with your new fancy and expensive weapons you bought with my money!¡± *Twang* ¡°Fine mother, but let¡¯s kill a few more rabbits for dinner, to celebrate the first member of our party to lose their virginity in this world¡± Billy pulls the string of his crossbow until it clicks in place. ¡°Mention it again and I will beat you to death and I am not your mother, if i was i would''ve drowned you in the well years ago¡± I stand above him glaring. It shall not be mentioned every again. "You already know the lines" Drakelaughs out ¡°Don¡¯t be so soppily angry about it, it¡¯s your fault for getting so drunk¡± He ignores my threat and of course I thwack him around the head with my staff ¡°Woah woah Fiera, don¡¯t actually kill the cripple, his life¡¯s already hard enough as it is, plus we¡¯ll all die if he does¡± Bram grabs hold of me as I go for round two. ¡°Grrrr¡± He¡¯s not wrong but Rikcha I hope I get a nice comfy spot beside you when I¡¯m done with this shitty life. ¡°Also we could fork out a little to get you some more underwear¡± why Bram? It¡¯s not like any of you actually care about human bodies anyway you freaks ¡°N¡­n..nipples¡± My head turns on Sean who is staring red-faced at me. Aaagh creepy kid. Stop staring, oh god I forget mermaids have half human body. ¡°We don¡¯t have the money to spare though, plus who¡¯s to say she doesn¡¯t like it, with what I heard last night¡± Drake complains ¡°Say that again to me closer, I didn¡¯t hear you so well the first time¡± I growl at him, clenching my staff hard. I don¡¯t like wearing no underwear, it¡¯s cold, odd and I get too many stares for my liking. ¡°¡­We¡¯ll get you underwear once we have the money then, but until that time welcome to being a free woman¡± Bram nods satisfied at his own decision and goes back to hunting rabbits, after giving me a pitying pat on the head. I swear one day, I¡¯m going to throw you all in acid and watch you scream¡­ ... (Another¡¯s POV) ¡°Miss you cannot walk around the streets naked, it¡¯s unseemly of such a woman¡± A heavily armed guard stops my¡­ally¡­ on the street along with his buddy. ¡°You misogynistic pig, how dare you sexualise my body. It¡¯s not sexual at all, look at me, I¡¯m just flesh. Get over it, I can walk how I like where I like and wearing what I like and if you can¡¯t handle it, fuck off¡± And she''s off again, just when I thought she had enough screaming at me... ¡°Sorry miss but what I think my colleague meant is that your entire body¡¯s flab wobbling is making everyone cry in digust as they watch you, so please put some clothes on before someone vomits themselves to death¡± ¡°How dare you, my body is beautiful, beautiful I tell you you fat shaming asshole-¡± *Thunk* ¡°Sorry Sirs, my ally has had a bit of mental trauma with men and needs some recuperation. Sorry again¡± I give the guards a forgiving handshake, coins slyly being left in their capable hands. ¡°Now we¡¯ll be off if you don¡¯t mind¡± I tip my black fedora at them before getting the two others to distraughtingly help the almost two hundred kilo if not more woman off the street. Father always said a gentleman shouldn''t hit a lady...but i think this woman makes the exceptions. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Author''s Corner: Aaand they''re off to the elves...well not really...apparently they''re off to find and kill someone as you do. tune in for the next chapter...which is happening sometime soon! 4. To the school of Magic! Well on the way to it at least (Drake¡¯s POV) ¡°Why is it so hoooooot¡± And so the whinging begins again and I thought his nightly lessons were going to do something¡­ It¡¯s been over a week since we left the city and in that time we¡¯ve walked, shot a bunch of animals of varying size and walked some fucking more. One week of walking like there¡¯s no fucking tomorrow, my feet are killing me. And everything just a messy blur thanks to somehow not having my glasses when coming here, fucking fantastic, just what I needed to make my life worse than it already is. I thought it was going to be mildly fun being in a fantasy world, but right now it¡¯s just a lot of blurs and walking. At least I¡¯ve got someone to insult. ¡°Hey Furry you done wiping your ass with that rabbit or shall I leave you two alone for a while¡± ¡°oh I didn¡¯t know you wanted a piece¡± Oh shit there¡¯s crappit coming my way! Successfully sidestepping the brown and white blur that sails past me, I look down at what my eyes have accustomed to being Billy, with disgrace. Well guess he¡¯s getting to crawl back to camp, ugh Sean stop following me. ¡°Drake, go back and pick up Billy¡± Bram ever the somehow nice guy. Well I guess there¡¯s got to be at least one person who isn¡¯t a complete asshole to everyone else, at least he¡¯s way more fucked up than the rest of us. ¡°He throws shit at me, he gets to crawl in it¡± ¡°Hey I¡¯m tanking for the party now so you¡¯re the official babysitter¡± That was literally the worst idea I¡¯d ever come up with. Having to carry that potato sacked furry piece of shit around wasn¡¯t my idea of fun in the slightest. Though having Bram tank made our walks a little easier, since he was always at the front and more often than not when we were sneak attacked by random animals both day and night, they always went for him. ¡°Scaled Asshole¡± Fiera¡¯s official nickname for me now ¡°Go grab Furry Fucker or I¡¯ll make sure not to heal your feet¡± ¡­ .. . Dammit. She¡¯s got us all by the ropes pushing us to walk so much that our feet and legs burn and get blisters and cuts and whatnot else since the crappy leather shoes are wearing away way too fast. And if she doesn¡¯t heal us oh my god does it hurt. I mean I could totally just not walk¡­but unlike Bram she can hit me and hurt me quite a bit¡­plus getting a bolt in the stomach is not fun. What a fucked up group: we shoot eachother in the stomach if we don¡¯t go with the group¡­if that isn¡¯t fucked up I don¡¯t know what is. Grabbing Billy and hoisting him up on my shoulders, we make our way back to our temporary piss-stop and off we go, back to trudging through blur. ¡°Hoi there fellow travellers¡± Sounds like a fat man, can I just shoot him so we don¡¯t have to socialise? ¡°Hello sir, where are you off to on this fine day¡± Of course not, bloody Bram. ¡°Me and my daughters are off to the elves you see, are you headed there yourselves?¡± Convenience one hundred percent, trap-like almost definite. ¡°Yes actually, would you like to walk together?¡± ¡°The more the merrier¡± I can hear his fat wobble with laughter, eugh. ¡°I am Bram and these are my travelling companions, who may you be?¡± ¡°Erstwidth the first and these are my daughters, Zweila, Dreiya and Vierra¡± Great, like I give a shit. A chorus of hellos from the short looking blurs¡­erm they¡¯re definitely nowhere near of age. ¡°Aw hello cutsies how are you doing today¡± ¡­ .. . Give me back angry Fiera, this one gives me the creeps. Trying my best to ignore the multiple conversations happening around me, god why do humans have to interact so much. Should¡¯ve just shot them, looted them and be done with it. ¡°So why are you off to the elves?¡± At least this conversation may not be suicidally dulling ¡°Same as you I believe, to enter the academy of magic¡± ¡°Of course¡± Bram doesn¡¯t even skip a beat, if anything he knows how to lie when he¡¯s prepped for it. ¡°Though you all seem a little¡­old to be joining the academy¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t have the chance when we were younger so off to it now I guess¡± Well guessing the age of this guy¡¯s daughters I¡¯d say it¡¯s an elementary school or a little higher. ¡°AVAST YE MONSTER OF THE DEEP¡± ¡­ .. . Excuse me who? ¡°Who?¡± Billy questions the voice wherever the hell it is ¡°THE FAT ONE¡± We push Sean forward a bit ¡°NO THE OTHER FAT ONE¡± Oh well whatever. I continue walking, fuck them if they¡¯re getting in trouble with some random voice. ¡°DO YOU NOT CARE YOU UNWASHED FELLOW CARRYING THAT OTHER SOUR FELLOW?¡± ¡°Not in the slightest¡± None of my business. ¡°WELL WHATEVER, YOU, FAT DEMON WHO ENTRANCES THE YOUNG LADIES SO, I SHALL DEFEAT YOU THUS LAYING BARE YOUR MISDEEDS AND FREE THOSE BEAUTIES FROM YOUR PUTRID GRASP¡± Wait a second. ¡°AHHhhHhhHHhHHHHHHH¡± Oh yes that was definitely a tarzan *Snap* ¡°OH BUGG-¡± *Smack* ¡­ .. . ¡°AH THE NATURE OF THIS FOREST MAY BE TURNED TO YOUR WILL TO BUT I SHALL BE VICTORIOUS NONETHELESS, COME MISCREANT OF EVIL, LET ME SMITE THEE¡± I hear the drawing of a blade and turn to see a tall blur rushing towards the fat man, whatever his name was. ¡°Ah wai-¡± ¡°AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH¡± Holy shit my earbuds. Fucking hell you shitty little kids why are you screaming so loud!? ¡°DADDYYY¡± ¡°FEAR NOT MY DIVINE LADIES, THE EVIL HAS BEEN VANQUISHED AND I SHALL PROTECT THEE HENCE BACK TO THINE HOMES. WORRY NOT FOR I AM NO MERE GUARDIAN¡± You have GOT to be kidding me ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re a loliconotic twat¡± ¡°YOU ARE MOSTLY CORRECT, I MAY SEE THE BEAUTY IN ALL WOMEN, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO YET TO BE CURSED BY MATURITY BUT I AM NOT THAT T WORD! BUT HOW MAY YOU BE KNOWLEDGEABLE OF THOSE TWO WORDS?!¡± ¡°Because we come from Earth too¡± Oh thanks Billy, give away the fun why don¡¯t you¡± ¡°AH¡­really you guys are from earth too?¡± Wait wait wait what¡¯s with the sudden change of demeanour? like the whole old style speaking valiant hero guy was just an act. Well fuck me sideways I had no idea¡­not. ¡°Well duh can you not hear my Londoner accent?¡± ¡°Honestly have no idea what that¡¯s supposed to be¡± He sounds Hispanic I¡¯m guessing. ¡°I¡¯m Miguel Ferreira a pleasure to meet you all, but I must accompany these beautiful ladies somewhere safe¡± ¡°So away from you, Loliperv¡± ¡°Excuseme I am a gentleman and I would not so dare as lay a finger on these beauties¡± ¡°But it¡¯s ok undressing them with your eyes Pervcon¡± ¡°Unwashed fellow you certainly are rather rude, I am a man of high integrity. My only desire is to protect them from all harm and let them live their youth to the fullest¡± ¡°By killing their father¡± Bram walks in on the conversation ¡°Yeah that¡¯s a pretty dick move Pedocon¡± ¡°I mean you didn¡¯t even let the guy speak¡± Billy reinforces the points. Well the guy did just kill some poor little shits¡¯ dad in front of them¡­ ¡°Daddy¡± *sob sob* ¡°FOOLS ALL OF YE, THIS MAN IS BUT A MONSTER CONTROLLING THESE YOUNG LADIES¡¯ MINDS, OBSERVE YE OF NO FAITH. MY PETITE MISTRESS WHAT MAY BE YOUR NAME¡± *Sob sob* ¡°Vierra¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°MAGIC TAKES A WHILE TO UNDO IT¡¯S EFFECT BUT I KNOW I AM CORRECT, JUST LOOK AT THE CORPSE OF THIS FAKE HUMAN, LOOK AT ITS EARS¡± ¡°Which looks pretty much like a human to me¡± I mean I just see a blur but Billy confirms my thoughts with words ¡°¡­NOT AGAIIN¡± He falls down to his knees and starts screaming to the sky in anguish¡­what an utter twat ¡°How many people have you killed this way?¡± Bram¡¯s already interrogating the man while Fiera if helping the kids get over their recent trauma¡­the screaming and crying shows it¡¯s going just beautifully. ¡°Six¡­though I have gotten it correct twice¡± ¡°Wait so there¡¯s actually monsters who take little children that aren¡¯t you?¡± Billy bleats from above me ¡°Seems like you¡¯ve got competition Lolipedo¡± ¡°It isn¡¯t like that! some pointy eared humans keep taking the little maidens away and everyone keeps saying it¡¯s just monster attacks but it isn¡¯t true!¡± ¡°Right¡­totally¡± ¡°It¡¯s true, my goddess was snatched in the middle of the night by what I thought was our guide. But it wasn¡¯t him, it was a pointy eared imposter posing as him! Our real guide is dead!¡± ¡°That¡¯s impossible¡± Fiera storms up to him ¡°First you kill some innocent man, traumatising three possible students of the magic arts and now you accuse an apostle of Rikcha to have been killed by a mere elf? Where¡¯s his body, show me his body!¡± ¡°I I never saw the original body but I killed him when he came for me¡± ¡°You KILLED your GUIDE?! How utterly fucking moronic are you? That person has devoted their life to keeping you safe!!!¡± And there¡¯s the Fiera we all know and hate. ¡°He attacked me! He tried to take me out I couldn¡¯t do anything else¡± ¡°Show me¡± She grabs him by the throat smashing his head against a nearby tree¡­ooh scary ¡°EEK th-this way¡± He scrambles out of her grasp I think, and away we go, dragging the crying children along, uuugh. Making our way off the almost road-like path that we had been taking for a good day or two, we finally reach a river with what I sort of looks like a body lying next to a large rock by the riverside. ¡°That¡¯s him, ears and all¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°¡­He¡¯s an Elf¡± Fiera is almost surprised, well it isn¡¯t surprising if it¡¯s true duh. ¡°We must go back to the city immediately, if an elf has infiltrated our ranks who knows what else has¡± ¡°Wait a second isn¡¯t he an imposter as Miguel said?¡± Bram speaks out what we¡¯re all thinking. ¡°No, he¡¯s the original, I know because he¡¯s got a mole in his right eye, not something a dead elf can magically keep up¡± This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work. ¡°But my goddess, I need to find her, you can¡¯t just leave me, especially as you know that she¡¯s in the hands of the elves¡­who knows what they might do to her¡± Already making nightmares for himself I see. ¡°That doesn¡¯t matter, it¡¯s not going to be easy to find an elf in these woods much less one who knows of this plot¡± ¡°Erd lord of trees and grass, heed my call and bur-¡± *Twang* ¡°Found one¡± walking over to the small blonde blur whichever of the three it was, I kneel on her arms holding her in place with the weight of two people. ¡°MADNESS WHAT ART THOU DOING TO MINE DAMSELS¡± ¡°She was speaking elvish, any of you know any little shits who speak fluent elvish?¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°You speak elvish? Surprising for a lizard lover, thought you¡¯d know something like hissing¡± ¡°I know draconic if that was the word your tiny brain couldn¡¯t find, as well as abyssal, undercommon, dwarvish, gnomish and a few other random languages¡± Made D&D sessions brutally realistic especially when none of the players speak the same in-game language, oh miscommunication adventures were the best. ¡°That¡¯s actually amazing¡± Fiera gave me a compliment, eugh I should talking so much. ¡°So uh, she was speaking elvish so this little shit is actually an elf¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t you you little elvish scum¡± ¡°Curse you human trash, I will die out before you get any information from me¡± ¡°And there you go, Fiera, heal her up we¡¯ve got a little torture session coming up¡± ¡°NOT IN FRONT OF MINE LADIES, PETITE GODDESSES COME HITHER AND I SHALL PROTECT THINE SOULS FROM SUCH DARKNESS¡± ¡°But that¡¯s Big Sister¡± ¡°NON THAT IS TRULY THE MONSTER WHICH HAD MADE EVEN ME BELIEVE YOUR FATHER WAS THE ONE CONTROLLING THEE, DO NOT BE SAD FOR ALL MEMORIES YOU HAVE OF THIS BEAST IS A LIE, FORGED TO MAKE YOU LIKE AND TRUST THEM. TRUST ME INSTEAD FOR I AM A WORTHY GENTLEKNIGHT¡± ¡°Seriously, brag later you Pedo. Now little elf how many cocks do you think we can fit inside you at once¡± ¡­ *Twang* ¡°According to our little helper there¡¯s a cave over in the northwest side of the forest, behind a waterfall which holds all the current prisoners¡± ¡°How did you get that information so fast senor?¡± It has been barely moments since I began the dirty talk. I suspected elves to be an innocent bunch, but not enough to get tortured by rape talk¡­Though I guess so many years of D&D has really made me prepared for these kinds of situations. Oh how I cannot wait to try out so many of the things I did in those sessions¡­ I rip the bolt out of the blurry face and wipe it on her dead clothes. That¡¯s what she gets for actually making me do work. ¡°Right, so let¡¯s go over there and free us some people¡± Bram declares what we¡¯re doing¡­but I don¡¯t like that idea, especially when I can have so much more fun. ¡°How about I go in, with the bait and cause a prison break¡± much more fun watching everyone die as they try to escape over their comrades¡­plus less risk to me then waltzing through attacking everything on sight. I mean they are elves, they¡¯ll probably see us way before we even notice them. ¡°I can act as an elf and it¡¯ll all go fine¡± ¡°I¡¯m all for letting the scaly shit suiciding¡± ¡°Elves are assholes, let¡¯s kill them¡± ¡°Hahh I guess it¡¯d be easier then trying to blast through the front door¡± ¡°I¡¯d rather not use children as bait but if it is necessary to keep you all alive I will allow it¡± ¡°Wait a second you¡¯re not allowed to just use such divine women as bait!¡± ¡°Actually we are and since you are nothing but a nuisance that brought this on in the first place you get no say. Here have my arbalester, at least you might be a little less of a twat if you shut up and shoot as Bram says¡± Rolling my eyes at an obviously huffing yet kind of deflated Miguel, I grab both small women by the cuff of their dresses. ¡°Owie let go¡± ¡°Noo don¡¯t leave me without papa¡± ¡°You two, shut up, if you cry I will hit you, if you scream I will hit you harder. If you try to run away I will break your legs and if you try to hurt me in any way whatsoever¡­¡± I turn them to face the dead elf midget. Enough said. Pushing the little shits along, I tell the rest to keep at least a kilometre distance and to not act suspicious, which they¡¯re probably going to fail at but whatever. Oh I¡¯m excited! God I thought this world would be as boring as usual but I¡¯ve realised it¡¯s just a never ending D&D session. I can torture, maim and kill whoever I like and even better I can actually be liked by it as I¡¯m doing right now. I cannot wait to watch the prison break, if they¡¯ll be as half as hellish as my tabletop ones were it¡¯ll be quite the experience indeed!! Travelling up the river, I finally see a waterfall after way too bloody long, at least the kids aren¡¯t making any loud noises past sad sobs. That¡¯s a good thing. Maybe I should just run away now, enjoy doing the stupid shit I did in my adventures¡­and probably die¡­damn maybe not yet. Walking confidently up to the waterfall, I walk through, getting absolutely drenched but lo and behold there¡¯s a door. *Knock knock* ¡°Hello got some lovely ladies¡± *Shing* ¡°Ah, good, bring them in¡± An elderly voice comes from the other side and opens the door. Walking inside, the first thing I smell is cum. Yeah I remember that smell because that¡¯s what my room always smelt like. That and crisps. Being led by an elderly elf, I assume by it¡¯s blurred hunch, we enter a cavernous room going multiple floors up and filled with moans and screams. Taking me past the large central area filled with the smell of bitter cooking, he opens up a cell just out of the way. ¡°Place them in there, are they blooded yet?¡± Blooded meant of age right? No I guess? ¡°No¡± ¡°Ehe, would you like to break them in or¡± I swear he just licked his lips ¡°May I?¡± ¡°You can have them, but I return I¡¯d like a taste of the hero you brought in¡± ¡°Oho you aren¡¯t the first to ask. You¡¯ll need this key to get to her, but she¡¯s off limits¡± ¡°A shame, guess we can share these two?¡± ¡°Certainly ehehe¡± Following after him, I of course trip him, holding onto the back of his head and repeatedly bash it on the floor with a dull squelching sound. But that barely registers above the screams of the bait. Standing up once I truly assume he¡¯s dead, probably from the greyish blur pooling out from his head, I grab both the baits by the throat. ¡°Be. Fucking. Quiet¡± At least they listened. Well I guess I¡¯ve only got limited time until someone comes to have a peek¡­ ¡°Stay¡± Grabbing the dead elfs keys, hmm by the sounds of it, there¡¯s quite a few people and elves here. Who would¡¯ve known I¡¯d find sex trafficking in this world¡­even more so as it¡¯s elves trafficking human kids, should be the other way round in all honesty¡­ But then again if it¡¯s something to do with repopulating the elves then it¡¯s sounding pretty effective. Waltzing around, I have a peek or two in the cells that I pass as I slowly go up the spiral stone walkway circling around the edges of the cavern and of course see but blurs of naked flesh and hear some rather disturbing sounds. I may have done quite a bit of digging on the darkweb but the smell is what really puts me off¡­ Gagging my way to the top, eventually, I go towards the biggest looking cell¡­which is extremely difficult to find as I cannot see shit and also everything¡¯s made out of rock so it¡¯s not that distinguishable. ¡°Hey what are you doing up here?¡± An elf walks out of a cell, butt naked since all I see in a blur of pink ¡°Having a little fun¡± I jangle the keys and he nods, walking to the next cell to continue his sexcapade. Glancing in each cell, up here there doesn¡¯t seem to be many elves, only two or three with about a dozen girls all caged up and being used one after the other. Unlike downstairs these don¡¯t cry, actually I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if their dead with the lack of noise their making¡­ Bram would definitely like this. Finally reaching the last cell, it¡¯s bars are instead a door¡­a metal one at that. Seems like this one¡¯s important. Opening up the door *HISS* Well that¡¯s a fantastic greeting. I close the door behind me, leaving a dull oil lit lamp to illuminate the small blur chained to the wall, somehow fully clothed in something orange and blue¡­ ¡°Are you Miguel Pedocon¡¯s Goddess?¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°I never thought I¡¯d be happy hearing that name. It¡¯s Kyora Nanahiko however so don¡¯t call me by such a foolishly annoying nickname¡± ¡°Whatever, I¡¯m just here to start a prison riot and watch hell break loose. And if you want to escape with me¡­give me a kiss¡± Might as well play around while I can, not that I have any sort of sexual or any attraction towards this blur. ¡°Ugh I¡¯d rather stay locked up and get raped by some elvish prince by the way their treating me than kiss a kid like you¡± ¡°Kid? Wow you must be really old if you think I¡¯m a kid¡± ¡°Wait, how old are you?¡± ¡°Oh that information costs a little more than a kiss¡± ¡°Urp don¡¯t make me throw up more than usual today¡± ¡°Alright, then goodbye, have fun being raped you old hag¡± ¡°Wait wait a second¡­dammit come here¡± Oh shit I didn¡¯t think she¡¯d actually go through with it. Walking over to her, her hands rattle in the chains. ¡°Come closer, but be gentle¡± Wait a second, this isn¡¯t planned at all, I haven¡¯t done this before in real life what do I do? Do I go through with it? Er I¡­I don¡¯t know I guess so? Maybe draw back at the last second? What did I do when I freed the draconic mistresses from the towers of Bulather? Er yes I drew back at the last second¡­ Right ok, I can do this¡­aand *Clunk* ¡­ What just happened? I feel like I just passed out for a moment there¡­ ow¡­owoowowoOWOWOOWOWOoOHHHHHHHH MY BALLS, HOLY SHIT AHHHHHHHFUUUUUUUUCK. ¡°Don¡¯t you dare call me old hag you asshole, I¡¯m only thirty six¡± ¡°Ho¡­holy shit you¡¯re older than me¡± I roll on the floor clutching my well knocked genitals softly. Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. ¡°Well obviously, you look like a barely twenty year old all skin and bones¡± ¡°thirty two¡­somehow, maybe thirty three¡± ¡°You¡¯re kidding me¡± ¡°You look like a midget from what I can see so you¡¯re the more unbelieviable¡± ¡°Eh whatever, just get me out of these chains¡± ¡°After what you did to me, go fuck yourself¡± I stand up and half stumble towards the exit ¡°Wait please don¡¯t go, don¡¯t leave me here, be a little human and help mee please¡± ¡°Fine, on two conditions. One you help me cause a prison break and two you call me master from now on¡± I mean I don¡¯t care really but anything to fuck with people hahaha. ¡°Alright¡± ¡°Ahem¡± ¡°¡­Master¡± this is exactly what I did with those draconic princesses I remember now. Ah that turned out to be quite fun, though they were at least hot¡­unlike this blur of midget. Freeing her from her chains with one of the many keys on the keyring, I open up the door and begin sauntering down the wide open passageway. ¡°Hey need an extra man for some fun¡± ¡°Eh if she gets any more lively why not¡± Walking into the room, I grab hold if his neck and mouth and twist ¡­ .. . Well that didn¡¯t work shit shit shiiiit! ¡°Mrghgpghmrm¡± Quickly pulling backwards, I hear a ripping sound followed by muffled screams and then silence¡­ *Blaraghghh* Squeezing out from underneath the unconscious or dead elf, I don¡¯t know, I see a pink naked blur positioned on all fours silently, what I assume to be her ass covered red, and there¡¯s also a dick on the floor Oh my well I think I know where all the blood that¡¯s spurted all over the room came from. *Blaargh* Is she still throwing up? Well whatever got some more elves to deal with first. Going to the next elf, I¡¯m actually stopped by the midget Asian who motions to let her take the lead. Alright but if it goes to shit I¡¯m not taking blame. Hey brother, here¡¯s another one who needs your help I toss the midget into the room and leave. *Cough* I was gone like five seconds ¡­ .. . *Cough cough* Is that seriously the signal? Turning into the room oh damn the elf is on the floor, unconscious? I don¡¯t see any signs that he¡¯s dead, even though I can¡¯t really see anyways. Sneaking over to it, yep he¡¯s got a heartbeat. Time to choke him to death. Huh the feeling of life slowly slipping away from your fingers truly is something rather unnatural. No time to relish the moment, got to continue killing elves. Letting whatever her name was to go in first, this time I stay and ask if I can join in, which he says yes of course. These elves are just fucksluts really Apparently midget knows some weird kung fu shit something or rather as she hits him around the neck and he falls down choking, well that¡¯s pretty fucking impressive to say the least. Anywho, one more elf to asphyxiate. And let¡¯s try get these humans on their feet. ¡­ .. . Nope they¡¯re broken inside, whatever. And although midget does complain a little about leaving them, she doesn¡¯t leave me either. Going down the corridor, it gets slightly harder as there are more elves waltzing around butt naked exchanging cells with one another. Wow these guys really have nothing better to do. *Ding ding ding* Sounds like a dinner bell. Like clockwork, all of them exit the cells and run downstairs. Well that made life a hell of a lot easier. Jumping cell to cell, unchaining the girls, I tell them to walk with me quietly and when I shout attack go for any elf they can. After about ten minutes I¡¯ve got a few dozen naked blurs and one blue and orange midget following me around. To the next floor. Bloody hell this is too easy and I can even see the elves all scoffing up something downstairs as they sit on the wooden benches far below. I wonder what they¡¯d see if they actually bothered to look up from their food. A lot of naked women all waltzing out of their cages is probably the most correct answer. Freeing almost one hundred of them, we¡¯re starting to make quite a bit of noise walking around, but at least they¡¯re all keeping quiet which is good. The hour passes I think? And I¡¯m at the bottom floor and of course like every good prison break, the shit hits the fan. Why? Well because everything¡¯s gone intensely quiet and I only notice that when I reach what I guess is the first level¡­as there¡¯s a shit ton of elves all holding swords and bows staring at me and my naked lady group. ¡°KILL THEM ALL¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°AAAAAGHRGHRGHRGHH¡± Phew half expected them to just cry and do shit all. I mean they do outnumber the elves by quite a bit, but they¡¯ve got weapons and the twang of a few bows surely sorts out more than a few women. Now that that¡¯s sorted out, where¡¯s the midget? Aha there she is. I grab and hoist her up, she¡¯s fucking heavy jesus: she must be a really fat midget. Her and Sean are definitely going to get along Right, it¡¯s not too bad a jump but not with a fat midget, through the brawl it is. Running toward the exit dodging the massive naked brawl which oddly enough I don¡¯t see much blood¡­probably trying not to kill their fuckstock then, I rush outside and burst through the waterfall colliding straight into one fucking furry sitting atop Bram. ¡°What the fuck!¡± all three of us scream at eachother as I rub a broken nose, bram somehow staying stood. ¡°GODDESS¡± ¡°Oh my Knight, please whisk me away from these scoundrels¡± That bitch, she didn¡¯t keep her end of the bargain. Where¡¯s my bloody arbalester? ¡°Quick everyone inside let¡¯s help the prisoners¡± Fiera rushes inside, seriously? The whole point is to let it become a bloodbath and help at the last possible moment to look good. Just sit back and enjoy the carnage you freak. ¡°N-n-naked ladies¡± Yes Sean there¡¯s a lot of unattractive boobs around, ugh. ¡°Do we have to care?¡± The actual normal ones just look at Fiera rushing inside, hearing the screams and shouts of death. ¡°Nah, dough if we sell all deir underwear we could ged quide a bid of money¡± I do point out since many of them were probably virgins before so it should sell for quite a bit oho. ¡°Then let¡¯s get to looting¡± Billy doesn¡¯t bitch at me for once, probably because he¡¯s feeling happy I¡¯m the one with the bloody broken nose. ¡°Do you not care about such beauteous women fighting for their very purity. NAY I TELL THEE, WAIT HENCE MY GODDESS FOR I AM NEEDED TO SAVE THESE PURE MAIDEN¡¯S HEARTS¡± And that¡¯s one Miguel charging in like a retard. I could tell him about how they are anything but pure¡­but I don¡¯t think he¡¯d appreciate it. Oh I¡¯ll definitely do it later. ¡°AH LADIES BEG MY FORGIVNESS FOR I CANNOT FIGHT WITH MINE EYES CLOSED, AVERT SUCH DERELICT BEAUTY AWAY FROM ME SO THAT I MAY CONCENTRATE ON THE BATTLE AND NOT THY LOVELY SELVES¡± What a perv, pedo, both. I notice ¡®Goddess¡¯ is still hanging back with the rest of us unenthusiastic lot. ¡°I mean do you care?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not one to put myself in danger for random people, they can go kill themselves for all I really care¡± *Badump* I can actually get along with this person that is an odd feeling indeed. ¡°But if Miguel dies I kind of die too¡­aaagh, plus we¡¯ve got to bloody find the other two wherever the fuck they buggered off to when going for a fuck. Bloody idiots¡± With a most emphasised sigh she buggers off inside to help somehow. ¡°Right, off to looting, oh and Bram there¡¯s some dead inside women on the top floor just for you¡± Oh shit he¡¯s actually got a boner off of that hahaha! Walking inside, yep it¡¯s a bloodbath, especially as I didn¡¯t see any weapons nearby. Jesus the smell is actually revolting ¡°Bllaaaarhgh¡± Yep at least I can¡¯t see it. Now what the actual fuck would they have to loot here? 4. To the school of Magic! Well on the way to it at least (Drake¡¯s POV) ¡°Why is it so hoooooot¡± And so the whinging begins again and I thought his nightly lessons were going to do something¡­ It¡¯s been over a week since we left the city and in that time we¡¯ve walked, shot a bunch of animals of varying size and walked some fucking more. One week of walking like there¡¯s no fucking tomorrow, my feet are killing me. And everything just a messy blur thanks to somehow not having my glasses when coming here, fucking fantastic, just what I needed to make my life worse than it already is. I thought it was going to be mildly fun being in a fantasy world, but right now it¡¯s just a lot of blurs and walking. At least I¡¯ve got someone to insult. ¡°Hey Furry you done wiping your ass with that rabbit or shall I leave you two alone for a while¡± ¡°oh I didn¡¯t know you wanted a piece¡± Oh shit there¡¯s crappit coming my way! Successfully sidestepping the brown and white blur that sails past me, I look down at what my eyes have accustomed to being Billy, with disgrace. Well guess he¡¯s getting to crawl back to camp, ugh Sean stop following me. ¡°Drake, go back and pick up Billy¡± Bram ever the somehow nice guy. Well I guess there¡¯s got to be at least one person who isn¡¯t a complete asshole to everyone else, at least he¡¯s way more fucked up than the rest of us. ¡°He throws shit at me, he gets to crawl in it¡± ¡°Hey I¡¯m tanking for the party now so you¡¯re the official babysitter¡± That was literally the worst idea I¡¯d ever come up with. Having to carry that potato sacked furry piece of shit around wasn¡¯t my idea of fun in the slightest. Though having Bram tank made our walks a little easier, since he was always at the front and more often than not when we were sneak attacked by random animals both day and night, they always went for him. ¡°Scaled Asshole¡± Fiera¡¯s official nickname for me now ¡°Go grab Furry Fucker or I¡¯ll make sure not to heal your feet¡± ¡­ .. . Dammit. She¡¯s got us all by the ropes pushing us to walk so much that our feet and legs burn and get blisters and cuts and whatnot else since the crappy leather shoes are wearing away way too fast. And if she doesn¡¯t heal us oh my god does it hurt. I mean I could totally just not walk¡­but unlike Bram she can hit me and hurt me quite a bit¡­plus getting a bolt in the stomach is not fun. What a fucked up group: we shoot eachother in the stomach if we don¡¯t go with the group¡­if that isn¡¯t fucked up I don¡¯t know what is. Grabbing Billy and hoisting him up on my shoulders, we make our way back to our temporary piss-stop and off we go, back to trudging through blur. ¡°Hoi there fellow travellers¡± Sounds like a fat man, can I just shoot him so we don¡¯t have to socialise? ¡°Hello sir, where are you off to on this fine day¡± Of course not, bloody Bram. ¡°Me and my daughters are off to the elves you see, are you headed there yourselves?¡± Convenience one hundred percent, trap-like almost definite. ¡°Yes actually, would you like to walk together?¡± ¡°The more the merrier¡± I can hear his fat wobble with laughter, eugh. ¡°I am Bram and these are my travelling companions, who may you be?¡± ¡°Erstwidth the first and these are my daughters, Zweila, Dreiya and Vierra¡± Great, like I give a shit. A chorus of hellos from the short looking blurs¡­erm they¡¯re definitely nowhere near of age. ¡°Aw hello cutsies how are you doing today¡± ¡­ .. . Give me back angry Fiera, this one gives me the creeps. Trying my best to ignore the multiple conversations happening around me, god why do humans have to interact so much. Should¡¯ve just shot them, looted them and be done with it. ¡°So why are you off to the elves?¡± At least this conversation may not be suicidally dulling ¡°Same as you I believe, to enter the academy of magic¡± ¡°Of course¡± Bram doesn¡¯t even skip a beat, if anything he knows how to lie when he¡¯s prepped for it. ¡°Though you all seem a little¡­old to be joining the academy¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t have the chance when we were younger so off to it now I guess¡± Well guessing the age of this guy¡¯s daughters I¡¯d say it¡¯s an elementary school or a little higher. ¡°AVAST YE MONSTER OF THE DEEP¡± ¡­ .. . Excuse me who? ¡°Who?¡± Billy questions the voice wherever the hell it is ¡°THE FAT ONE¡± We push Sean forward a bit ¡°NO THE OTHER FAT ONE¡± Oh well whatever. I continue walking, fuck them if they¡¯re getting in trouble with some random voice. ¡°DO YOU NOT CARE YOU UNWASHED FELLOW CARRYING THAT OTHER SOUR FELLOW?¡± ¡°Not in the slightest¡± None of my business. ¡°WELL WHATEVER, YOU, FAT DEMON WHO ENTRANCES THE YOUNG LADIES SO, I SHALL DEFEAT YOU THUS LAYING BARE YOUR MISDEEDS AND FREE THOSE BEAUTIES FROM YOUR PUTRID GRASP¡± Wait a second. ¡°AHHhhHhhHHhHHHHHHH¡± Oh yes that was definitely a tarzan *Snap* ¡°OH BUGG-¡± *Smack* ¡­ .. . ¡°AH THE NATURE OF THIS FOREST MAY BE TURNED TO YOUR WILL TO BUT I SHALL BE VICTORIOUS NONETHELESS, COME MISCREANT OF EVIL, LET ME SMITE THEE¡± I hear the drawing of a blade and turn to see a tall blur rushing towards the fat man, whatever his name was. ¡°Ah wai-¡± ¡°AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH¡± Holy shit my earbuds. Fucking hell you shitty little kids why are you screaming so loud!? ¡°DADDYYY¡± ¡°FEAR NOT MY DIVINE LADIES, THE EVIL HAS BEEN VANQUISHED AND I SHALL PROTECT THEE HENCE BACK TO THINE HOMES. WORRY NOT FOR I AM NO MERE GUARDIAN¡± You have GOT to be kidding me ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re a loliconotic twat¡± ¡°YOU ARE MOSTLY CORRECT, I MAY SEE THE BEAUTY IN ALL WOMEN, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO YET TO BE CURSED BY MATURITY BUT I AM NOT THAT T WORD! BUT HOW MAY YOU BE KNOWLEDGEABLE OF THOSE TWO WORDS?!¡± ¡°Because we come from Earth too¡± Oh thanks Billy, give away the fun why don¡¯t you¡± ¡°AH¡­really you guys are from earth too?¡± Wait wait wait what¡¯s with the sudden change of demeanour? like the whole old style speaking valiant hero guy was just an act. Well fuck me sideways I had no idea¡­not. ¡°Well duh can you not hear my Londoner accent?¡± ¡°Honestly have no idea what that¡¯s supposed to be¡± He sounds Hispanic I¡¯m guessing. ¡°I¡¯m Miguel Ferreira a pleasure to meet you all, but I must accompany these beautiful ladies somewhere safe¡± ¡°So away from you, Loliperv¡± ¡°Excuseme I am a gentleman and I would not so dare as lay a finger on these beauties¡± ¡°But it¡¯s ok undressing them with your eyes Pervcon¡± ¡°Unwashed fellow you certainly are rather rude, I am a man of high integrity. My only desire is to protect them from all harm and let them live their youth to the fullest¡± ¡°By killing their father¡± Bram walks in on the conversation ¡°Yeah that¡¯s a pretty dick move Pedocon¡± ¡°I mean you didn¡¯t even let the guy speak¡± Billy reinforces the points. Well the guy did just kill some poor little shits¡¯ dad in front of them¡­ ¡°Daddy¡± *sob sob* ¡°FOOLS ALL OF YE, THIS MAN IS BUT A MONSTER CONTROLLING THESE YOUNG LADIES¡¯ MINDS, OBSERVE YE OF NO FAITH. MY PETITE MISTRESS WHAT MAY BE YOUR NAME¡± *Sob sob* ¡°Vierra¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°MAGIC TAKES A WHILE TO UNDO IT¡¯S EFFECT BUT I KNOW I AM CORRECT, JUST LOOK AT THE CORPSE OF THIS FAKE HUMAN, LOOK AT ITS EARS¡± ¡°Which looks pretty much like a human to me¡± I mean I just see a blur but Billy confirms my thoughts with words ¡°¡­NOT AGAIIN¡± He falls down to his knees and starts screaming to the sky in anguish¡­what an utter twat ¡°How many people have you killed this way?¡± Bram¡¯s already interrogating the man while Fiera if helping the kids get over their recent trauma¡­the screaming and crying shows it¡¯s going just beautifully. ¡°Six¡­though I have gotten it correct twice¡± ¡°Wait so there¡¯s actually monsters who take little children that aren¡¯t you?¡± Billy bleats from above me ¡°Seems like you¡¯ve got competition Lolipedo¡± ¡°It isn¡¯t like that! some pointy eared humans keep taking the little maidens away and everyone keeps saying it¡¯s just monster attacks but it isn¡¯t true!¡± ¡°Right¡­totally¡± ¡°It¡¯s true, my goddess was snatched in the middle of the night by what I thought was our guide. But it wasn¡¯t him, it was a pointy eared imposter posing as him! Our real guide is dead!¡± ¡°That¡¯s impossible¡± Fiera storms up to him ¡°First you kill some innocent man, traumatising three possible students of the magic arts and now you accuse an apostle of Rikcha to have been killed by a mere elf? Where¡¯s his body, show me his body!¡± ¡°I I never saw the original body but I killed him when he came for me¡± ¡°You KILLED your GUIDE?! How utterly fucking moronic are you? That person has devoted their life to keeping you safe!!!¡± And there¡¯s the Fiera we all know and hate. ¡°He attacked me! He tried to take me out I couldn¡¯t do anything else¡± ¡°Show me¡± She grabs him by the throat smashing his head against a nearby tree¡­ooh scary ¡°EEK th-this way¡± He scrambles out of her grasp I think, and away we go, dragging the crying children along, uuugh. Making our way off the almost road-like path that we had been taking for a good day or two, we finally reach a river with what I sort of looks like a body lying next to a large rock by the riverside. ¡°That¡¯s him, ears and all¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°¡­He¡¯s an Elf¡± Fiera is almost surprised, well it isn¡¯t surprising if it¡¯s true duh. ¡°We must go back to the city immediately, if an elf has infiltrated our ranks who knows what else has¡± ¡°Wait a second isn¡¯t he an imposter as Miguel said?¡± Bram speaks out what we¡¯re all thinking. ¡°No, he¡¯s the original, I know because he¡¯s got a mole in his right eye, not something a dead elf can magically keep up¡± Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. ¡°But my goddess, I need to find her, you can¡¯t just leave me, especially as you know that she¡¯s in the hands of the elves¡­who knows what they might do to her¡± Already making nightmares for himself I see. ¡°That doesn¡¯t matter, it¡¯s not going to be easy to find an elf in these woods much less one who knows of this plot¡± ¡°Erd lord of trees and grass, heed my call and bur-¡± *Twang* ¡°Found one¡± walking over to the small blonde blur whichever of the three it was, I kneel on her arms holding her in place with the weight of two people. ¡°MADNESS WHAT ART THOU DOING TO MINE DAMSELS¡± ¡°She was speaking elvish, any of you know any little shits who speak fluent elvish?¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°You speak elvish? Surprising for a lizard lover, thought you¡¯d know something like hissing¡± ¡°I know draconic if that was the word your tiny brain couldn¡¯t find, as well as abyssal, undercommon, dwarvish, gnomish and a few other random languages¡± Made D&D sessions brutally realistic especially when none of the players speak the same in-game language, oh miscommunication adventures were the best. ¡°That¡¯s actually amazing¡± Fiera gave me a compliment, eugh I should talking so much. ¡°So uh, she was speaking elvish so this little shit is actually an elf¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t you you little elvish scum¡± ¡°Curse you human trash, I will die out before you get any information from me¡± ¡°And there you go, Fiera, heal her up we¡¯ve got a little torture session coming up¡± ¡°NOT IN FRONT OF MINE LADIES, PETITE GODDESSES COME HITHER AND I SHALL PROTECT THINE SOULS FROM SUCH DARKNESS¡± ¡°But that¡¯s Big Sister¡± ¡°NON THAT IS TRULY THE MONSTER WHICH HAD MADE EVEN ME BELIEVE YOUR FATHER WAS THE ONE CONTROLLING THEE, DO NOT BE SAD FOR ALL MEMORIES YOU HAVE OF THIS BEAST IS A LIE, FORGED TO MAKE YOU LIKE AND TRUST THEM. TRUST ME INSTEAD FOR I AM A WORTHY GENTLEKNIGHT¡± ¡°Seriously, brag later you Pedo. Now little elf how many cocks do you think we can fit inside you at once¡± ¡­ *Twang* ¡°According to our little helper there¡¯s a cave over in the northwest side of the forest, behind a waterfall which holds all the current prisoners¡± ¡°How did you get that information so fast senor?¡± It has been barely moments since I began the dirty talk. I suspected elves to be an innocent bunch, but not enough to get tortured by rape talk¡­Though I guess so many years of D&D has really made me prepared for these kinds of situations. Oh how I cannot wait to try out so many of the things I did in those sessions¡­ I rip the bolt out of the blurry face and wipe it on her dead clothes. That¡¯s what she gets for actually making me do work. ¡°Right, so let¡¯s go over there and free us some people¡± Bram declares what we¡¯re doing¡­but I don¡¯t like that idea, especially when I can have so much more fun. ¡°How about I go in, with the bait and cause a prison break¡± much more fun watching everyone die as they try to escape over their comrades¡­plus less risk to me then waltzing through attacking everything on sight. I mean they are elves, they¡¯ll probably see us way before we even notice them. ¡°I can act as an elf and it¡¯ll all go fine¡± ¡°I¡¯m all for letting the scaly shit suiciding¡± ¡°Elves are assholes, let¡¯s kill them¡± ¡°Hahh I guess it¡¯d be easier then trying to blast through the front door¡± ¡°I¡¯d rather not use children as bait but if it is necessary to keep you all alive I will allow it¡± ¡°Wait a second you¡¯re not allowed to just use such divine women as bait!¡± ¡°Actually we are and since you are nothing but a nuisance that brought this on in the first place you get no say. Here have my arbalester, at least you might be a little less of a twat if you shut up and shoot as Bram says¡± Rolling my eyes at an obviously huffing yet kind of deflated Miguel, I grab both small women by the cuff of their dresses. ¡°Owie let go¡± ¡°Noo don¡¯t leave me without papa¡± ¡°You two, shut up, if you cry I will hit you, if you scream I will hit you harder. If you try to run away I will break your legs and if you try to hurt me in any way whatsoever¡­¡± I turn them to face the dead elf midget. Enough said. Pushing the little shits along, I tell the rest to keep at least a kilometre distance and to not act suspicious, which they¡¯re probably going to fail at but whatever. Oh I¡¯m excited! God I thought this world would be as boring as usual but I¡¯ve realised it¡¯s just a never ending D&D session. I can torture, maim and kill whoever I like and even better I can actually be liked by it as I¡¯m doing right now. I cannot wait to watch the prison break, if they¡¯ll be as half as hellish as my tabletop ones were it¡¯ll be quite the experience indeed!! Travelling up the river, I finally see a waterfall after way too bloody long, at least the kids aren¡¯t making any loud noises past sad sobs. That¡¯s a good thing. Maybe I should just run away now, enjoy doing the stupid shit I did in my adventures¡­and probably die¡­damn maybe not yet. Walking confidently up to the waterfall, I walk through, getting absolutely drenched but lo and behold there¡¯s a door. *Knock knock* ¡°Hello got some lovely ladies¡± *Shing* ¡°Ah, good, bring them in¡± An elderly voice comes from the other side and opens the door. Walking inside, the first thing I smell is cum. Yeah I remember that smell because that¡¯s what my room always smelt like. That and crisps. Being led by an elderly elf, I assume by it¡¯s blurred hunch, we enter a cavernous room going multiple floors up and filled with moans and screams. Taking me past the large central area filled with the smell of bitter cooking, he opens up a cell just out of the way. ¡°Place them in there, are they blooded yet?¡± Blooded meant of age right? No I guess? ¡°No¡± ¡°Ehe, would you like to break them in or¡± I swear he just licked his lips ¡°May I?¡± ¡°You can have them, but I return I¡¯d like a taste of the hero you brought in¡± ¡°Oho you aren¡¯t the first to ask. You¡¯ll need this key to get to her, but she¡¯s off limits¡± ¡°A shame, guess we can share these two?¡± ¡°Certainly ehehe¡± Following after him, I of course trip him, holding onto the back of his head and repeatedly bash it on the floor with a dull squelching sound. But that barely registers above the screams of the bait. Standing up once I truly assume he¡¯s dead, probably from the greyish blur pooling out from his head, I grab both the baits by the throat. ¡°Be. Fucking. Quiet¡± At least they listened. Well I guess I¡¯ve only got limited time until someone comes to have a peek¡­ ¡°Stay¡± Grabbing the dead elfs keys, hmm by the sounds of it, there¡¯s quite a few people and elves here. Who would¡¯ve known I¡¯d find sex trafficking in this world¡­even more so as it¡¯s elves trafficking human kids, should be the other way round in all honesty¡­ But then again if it¡¯s something to do with repopulating the elves then it¡¯s sounding pretty effective. Waltzing around, I have a peek or two in the cells that I pass as I slowly go up the spiral stone walkway circling around the edges of the cavern and of course see but blurs of naked flesh and hear some rather disturbing sounds. I may have done quite a bit of digging on the darkweb but the smell is what really puts me off¡­ Gagging my way to the top, eventually, I go towards the biggest looking cell¡­which is extremely difficult to find as I cannot see shit and also everything¡¯s made out of rock so it¡¯s not that distinguishable. ¡°Hey what are you doing up here?¡± An elf walks out of a cell, butt naked since all I see in a blur of pink ¡°Having a little fun¡± I jangle the keys and he nods, walking to the next cell to continue his sexcapade. Glancing in each cell, up here there doesn¡¯t seem to be many elves, only two or three with about a dozen girls all caged up and being used one after the other. Unlike downstairs these don¡¯t cry, actually I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if their dead with the lack of noise their making¡­ Bram would definitely like this. Finally reaching the last cell, it¡¯s bars are instead a door¡­a metal one at that. Seems like this one¡¯s important. Opening up the door *HISS* Well that¡¯s a fantastic greeting. I close the door behind me, leaving a dull oil lit lamp to illuminate the small blur chained to the wall, somehow fully clothed in something orange and blue¡­ ¡°Are you Miguel Pedocon¡¯s Goddess?¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°I never thought I¡¯d be happy hearing that name. It¡¯s Kyora Nanahiko however so don¡¯t call me by such a foolishly annoying nickname¡± ¡°Whatever, I¡¯m just here to start a prison riot and watch hell break loose. And if you want to escape with me¡­give me a kiss¡± Might as well play around while I can, not that I have any sort of sexual or any attraction towards this blur. ¡°Ugh I¡¯d rather stay locked up and get raped by some elvish prince by the way their treating me than kiss a kid like you¡± ¡°Kid? Wow you must be really old if you think I¡¯m a kid¡± ¡°Wait, how old are you?¡± ¡°Oh that information costs a little more than a kiss¡± ¡°Urp don¡¯t make me throw up more than usual today¡± ¡°Alright, then goodbye, have fun being raped you old hag¡± ¡°Wait wait a second¡­dammit come here¡± Oh shit I didn¡¯t think she¡¯d actually go through with it. Walking over to her, her hands rattle in the chains. ¡°Come closer, but be gentle¡± Wait a second, this isn¡¯t planned at all, I haven¡¯t done this before in real life what do I do? Do I go through with it? Er I¡­I don¡¯t know I guess so? Maybe draw back at the last second? What did I do when I freed the draconic mistresses from the towers of Bulather? Er yes I drew back at the last second¡­ Right ok, I can do this¡­aand *Clunk* ¡­ What just happened? I feel like I just passed out for a moment there¡­ ow¡­owoowowoOWOWOOWOWOoOHHHHHHHH MY BALLS, HOLY SHIT AHHHHHHHFUUUUUUUUCK. ¡°Don¡¯t you dare call me old hag you asshole, I¡¯m only thirty six¡± ¡°Ho¡­holy shit you¡¯re older than me¡± I roll on the floor clutching my well knocked genitals softly. Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. ¡°Well obviously, you look like a barely twenty year old all skin and bones¡± ¡°thirty two¡­somehow, maybe thirty three¡± ¡°You¡¯re kidding me¡± ¡°You look like a midget from what I can see so you¡¯re the more unbelieviable¡± ¡°Eh whatever, just get me out of these chains¡± ¡°After what you did to me, go fuck yourself¡± I stand up and half stumble towards the exit ¡°Wait please don¡¯t go, don¡¯t leave me here, be a little human and help mee please¡± ¡°Fine, on two conditions. One you help me cause a prison break and two you call me master from now on¡± I mean I don¡¯t care really but anything to fuck with people hahaha. ¡°Alright¡± ¡°Ahem¡± ¡°¡­Master¡± this is exactly what I did with those draconic princesses I remember now. Ah that turned out to be quite fun, though they were at least hot¡­unlike this blur of midget. Freeing her from her chains with one of the many keys on the keyring, I open up the door and begin sauntering down the wide open passageway. ¡°Hey need an extra man for some fun¡± ¡°Eh if she gets any more lively why not¡± Walking into the room, I grab hold if his neck and mouth and twist ¡­ .. . Well that didn¡¯t work shit shit shiiiit! ¡°Mrghgpghmrm¡± Quickly pulling backwards, I hear a ripping sound followed by muffled screams and then silence¡­ *Blaraghghh* Squeezing out from underneath the unconscious or dead elf, I don¡¯t know, I see a pink naked blur positioned on all fours silently, what I assume to be her ass covered red, and there¡¯s also a dick on the floor Oh my well I think I know where all the blood that¡¯s spurted all over the room came from. *Blaargh* Is she still throwing up? Well whatever got some more elves to deal with first. Going to the next elf, I¡¯m actually stopped by the midget Asian who motions to let her take the lead. Alright but if it goes to shit I¡¯m not taking blame. Hey brother, here¡¯s another one who needs your help I toss the midget into the room and leave. *Cough* I was gone like five seconds ¡­ .. . *Cough cough* Is that seriously the signal? Turning into the room oh damn the elf is on the floor, unconscious? I don¡¯t see any signs that he¡¯s dead, even though I can¡¯t really see anyways. Sneaking over to it, yep he¡¯s got a heartbeat. Time to choke him to death. Huh the feeling of life slowly slipping away from your fingers truly is something rather unnatural. No time to relish the moment, got to continue killing elves. Letting whatever her name was to go in first, this time I stay and ask if I can join in, which he says yes of course. These elves are just fucksluts really Apparently midget knows some weird kung fu shit something or rather as she hits him around the neck and he falls down choking, well that¡¯s pretty fucking impressive to say the least. Anywho, one more elf to asphyxiate. And let¡¯s try get these humans on their feet. ¡­ .. . Nope they¡¯re broken inside, whatever. And although midget does complain a little about leaving them, she doesn¡¯t leave me either. Going down the corridor, it gets slightly harder as there are more elves waltzing around butt naked exchanging cells with one another. Wow these guys really have nothing better to do. *Ding ding ding* Sounds like a dinner bell. Like clockwork, all of them exit the cells and run downstairs. Well that made life a hell of a lot easier. Jumping cell to cell, unchaining the girls, I tell them to walk with me quietly and when I shout attack go for any elf they can. After about ten minutes I¡¯ve got a few dozen naked blurs and one blue and orange midget following me around. To the next floor. Bloody hell this is too easy and I can even see the elves all scoffing up something downstairs as they sit on the wooden benches far below. I wonder what they¡¯d see if they actually bothered to look up from their food. A lot of naked women all waltzing out of their cages is probably the most correct answer. Freeing almost one hundred of them, we¡¯re starting to make quite a bit of noise walking around, but at least they¡¯re all keeping quiet which is good. The hour passes I think? And I¡¯m at the bottom floor and of course like every good prison break, the shit hits the fan. Why? Well because everything¡¯s gone intensely quiet and I only notice that when I reach what I guess is the first level¡­as there¡¯s a shit ton of elves all holding swords and bows staring at me and my naked lady group. ¡°KILL THEM ALL¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°AAAAAGHRGHRGHRGHH¡± Phew half expected them to just cry and do shit all. I mean they do outnumber the elves by quite a bit, but they¡¯ve got weapons and the twang of a few bows surely sorts out more than a few women. Now that that¡¯s sorted out, where¡¯s the midget? Aha there she is. I grab and hoist her up, she¡¯s fucking heavy jesus: she must be a really fat midget. Her and Sean are definitely going to get along Right, it¡¯s not too bad a jump but not with a fat midget, through the brawl it is. Running toward the exit dodging the massive naked brawl which oddly enough I don¡¯t see much blood¡­probably trying not to kill their fuckstock then, I rush outside and burst through the waterfall colliding straight into one fucking furry sitting atop Bram. ¡°What the fuck!¡± all three of us scream at eachother as I rub a broken nose, bram somehow staying stood. ¡°GODDESS¡± ¡°Oh my Knight, please whisk me away from these scoundrels¡± That bitch, she didn¡¯t keep her end of the bargain. Where¡¯s my bloody arbalester? ¡°Quick everyone inside let¡¯s help the prisoners¡± Fiera rushes inside, seriously? The whole point is to let it become a bloodbath and help at the last possible moment to look good. Just sit back and enjoy the carnage you freak. ¡°N-n-naked ladies¡± Yes Sean there¡¯s a lot of unattractive boobs around, ugh. ¡°Do we have to care?¡± The actual normal ones just look at Fiera rushing inside, hearing the screams and shouts of death. ¡°Nah, dough if we sell all deir underwear we could ged quide a bid of money¡± I do point out since many of them were probably virgins before so it should sell for quite a bit oho. ¡°Then let¡¯s get to looting¡± Billy doesn¡¯t bitch at me for once, probably because he¡¯s feeling happy I¡¯m the one with the bloody broken nose. ¡°Do you not care about such beauteous women fighting for their very purity. NAY I TELL THEE, WAIT HENCE MY GODDESS FOR I AM NEEDED TO SAVE THESE PURE MAIDEN¡¯S HEARTS¡± And that¡¯s one Miguel charging in like a retard. I could tell him about how they are anything but pure¡­but I don¡¯t think he¡¯d appreciate it. Oh I¡¯ll definitely do it later. ¡°AH LADIES BEG MY FORGIVNESS FOR I CANNOT FIGHT WITH MINE EYES CLOSED, AVERT SUCH DERELICT BEAUTY AWAY FROM ME SO THAT I MAY CONCENTRATE ON THE BATTLE AND NOT THY LOVELY SELVES¡± What a perv, pedo, both. I notice ¡®Goddess¡¯ is still hanging back with the rest of us unenthusiastic lot. ¡°I mean do you care?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not one to put myself in danger for random people, they can go kill themselves for all I really care¡± *Badump* I can actually get along with this person that is an odd feeling indeed. ¡°But if Miguel dies I kind of die too¡­aaagh, plus we¡¯ve got to bloody find the other two wherever the fuck they buggered off to when going for a fuck. Bloody idiots¡± With a most emphasised sigh she buggers off inside to help somehow. ¡°Right, off to looting, oh and Bram there¡¯s some dead inside women on the top floor just for you¡± Oh shit he¡¯s actually got a boner off of that hahaha! Walking inside, yep it¡¯s a bloodbath, especially as I didn¡¯t see any weapons nearby. Jesus the smell is actually revolting ¡°Bllaaaarhgh¡± Yep at least I can¡¯t see it. Now what the actual fuck would they have to loot here? 5. A Divine Meeting (Sean¡¯s POV) Mmm hey baby let me mm ah grab those big juicy boobs ah mmm ah ah please use teeth ah ah AHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ¡°-HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH¡± *Thunk thunk* ¡°SHUT UP¡± Both Billy and Drake scream at me from either side after smacking me around the head, owww. ¡°Sean are you alright?¡± Fiera jumps into the tent grabbing hold of my puffy cheeks. No I¡¯m not, the girl was bleeding everywhere and ripping my dick off. Ah breathe, breathe, mmmaham breathe ok phew. ¡°He¡¯s just having another bloody nightmare¡± Drake whines as he rolls over back to sleep ¡°It was pretty bad Scaly, but seriously Sean, if you so much as peep again you¡¯re not sleeping inside anymore¡± ¡°I¡¯ve seen worse¡± ¡°You two go to sleep, Sean come with me¡± She grabs my hand and with surprising strength half drags me out. ¡°Whatever¡± They both mumble out as they go back to sleep. How do they sleep so easy after seeing that? ¡°They¡¯re just freaks, stuff like that doesn¡¯t affect them¡± Fiera answers as if reading my mind, Fiera¡¯s so smart and has nice nipples. I like Fiera, she isn¡¯t as scary as the others¡­most of the time. She drags me to the campfire where Bram sleeps quietly on his back, arms making an x on his chest. ¡°There are some bad things in this world, and if you¡¯re going to be exploring there¡¯s going to be a lot worse to experience¡± ¡°But I only want to fuck a mermaid¡± Mermaids are beautiful and the ocean is beautiful too. I don¡¯t want to be in the same situation as yesterday with all those women and elves and¡­urlrp *Twitch* ¡°You definitely need some training¡± ¡°Training?¡± I mean I don¡¯t like red haired girls but she is quite pretty and- ¡°Ew, gross Divines no, Mental training, if not you¡¯re going to become one of those or die¡± She points back to the tent, shaking her head at me. Well I need that training too because I don¡¯t want to disappoint my mermaid queen. Also I don¡¯t want to become like them, they¡¯re really freaky and fucked up. ¡°So I¡¯m going to teach you some basics to get you through trauma since that is the first thing you get as being part of Rikcha¡¯s temple¡± ¡°What happens?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll tell you later¡± Oh I was curious though. ¡°What matters now is to teach you meditation and things to get you through your trauma. First off take a deep breath in and a deep breath out. Let the air flow through you just as any bad dreams should. Now repeat after me; It¡¯s just a dream, it¡¯s just a dream and it shall not affect me¡± ¡°It¡¯s just a dream, it¡¯s just a dream and it shall not affect me¡± ¡°Good, repeat that over and over again as you concentrate on your breathing. Close your eyes too, it makes it easier¡± ¡°But if I close my eyes I¡¯ll see it again¡± ¡°Even more reason to¡± Haah, I don¡¯t like this. Close my eyes, see naked lady playing my dic- *Rrrip* ¡°AHH-¡± ¡°Shush¡± Bram places a cold hand over my mouth. ¡°Seriously Fiera, you think that¡¯s going to get him over the trauma of seeing people get ripped apart by naked women?¡± ¡°It helped me get over my trauma¡± She hissingly whispers back to him ¡°What traumatised you anyways? I mean before you summoned us¡± Oh yeah¡­that could¡¯ve been scary for her too. ¡°My initiation, as part of it they traumatise you to give you the knowledge of what it is like thus giving you guidance how to get yourself and others past it. An important job for any follower of Rikcha¡± ¡°What did they do?¡± ¡°It¡¯s secret¡± ¡°Tell us or we might just disappear on you¡± ¡°Wait a second, you can¡¯t just disappear on me, you know nothing about this world and that¡¯s blackmail!¡± ¡°All the more reason to tell us and if you insist it¡¯s a ¡®secret¡¯ then you¡¯re not truly over it, plus you did summon us here against our will so you should be nice to us¡± Bram can be really evil. Like when he threatened the shopkeeper to tell his wife about the underwear that he planted in his store to give us some pots...he¡¯s scary but a different kind of scary to Drake and Billy. ¡°It¡¯s a secret because only those within the church must know of it¡¯s going on¡± ¡°And if we plan to become priests of whoever¡± ¡°Priests of Rikcha and you will learn of it then¡± ¡°Still sounds like you¡¯re traumatised and won¡¯t tell us because of that¡± ¡°Am not¡± ¡°you sound like it¡± ¡°I¡¯m not and just to show you how wrong you are I¡¯ll tell you what they did: I was used by them for a month as a test of loyalty and devotion to Rikcha and so that I may learn and defeat my traumas¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°You were raped for a month?¡± ¡°I wasn¡¯t raped it was merely a test¡± ¡°So you didn¡¯t get fucked by the rest of the priesthood then?¡± ¡°¡­it wasn¡¯t like that, it was part of my initiation¡± ¡°Did someone say they got raped?¡± Billy crawls out the tent ¡°I didn¡¯t get raped, upon the laws of our god it did not at any point count as sexual intercourse¡± ¡°So you were told you weren¡¯t raped¡­while being raped then¡± Drake walks out laughing his head off. ¡°I WASN¡¯T RAPED¡± ¡°Riiight¡± All three of them slowly nod, unbelieving. ¡°So did they start with one guy, then move up to like four?¡± Drake sits down by her side suddenly very interested ¡°Eight was the best I could do¡± ¡°Wohahaow wait, eight!? And it was the best you could do? Was it like training or something?!! hahah¡± Drake¡¯s still laughing ¡°It was the will of Rikcha that the more sins I washed from the priests the better the church would run¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± ¡°And we all thought you were an innocent virgin, well almost¡± Bram shakes his head ¡°I AM, A VIRGIN!¡± ¡°Wait a second, you fucked that smexy black guy didn¡¯t you?¡± ¡°In the eyes of Rikcha I am still a virgin, all sins I¡¯ve committed with him, washed away with his life¡± ¡°So as long as you kill the people you fuck you still count as a virgin¡± ¡°¡­It¡¯s not like that¡± ¡°Riiiight¡± All three of them once again nod slowly. ¡°So back to the ¡®initiation¡¯, why did they stop?¡± ¡°Because I was given status of Apostle by Rikcha¡± ¡°So you blew enough important priests to be given an important position, typical¡± Bram continuously shakes his head at this strange story. ¡°IT WASN¡¯T LIKE THAT! AAAGH. Rikcha came into me and gave me the power of an apostle¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure he did¡± Drake laughs hysterically, wait why? ¡°DON¡¯T¡¯ YOU INSULT RIKCHA YOU LITTLE SHIT COME HERE¡± She pounces at Drake, only barely being held off by Bram and Billy. ¡°Calm down, it was just a joke, probably¡± Drake gives her a pat on the head as she fumes at him. ¡°But in all seriousness Fiera, how did you know you became an Apostle¡± ¡°By my healing powers¡± ¡°Ohhhh¡± I¡¯m so lost but I think I know what¡¯s going on?? ¡°And so my initiation stopped and I became an Apostle of Rikcha fully ready to withstand any kind of trauma I face¡± ¡°Well you¡¯ve been thoroughly gang raped by eight guys and broken to the point of believing that is alright so of course little else should be hard to get your head around then¡­¡± ¡°Furry¡¯s actually got a point¡± ¡°I wasn¡¯t raped!!¡± ¡°Guys let her believe what she will, but Sean she is the perfect example of someone who hasn¡¯t gotten over their trauma, they¡¯ve just made excuses for it and locked it deep away. Don¡¯t do that, properly get over it¡± ¡°I¡¯ve gotten over that trauma, it is just a fact now, nothing more¡± ¡°The fact that you called it a trauma¡± Billy interjects ¡°It was at first, but I was devoted to get through this trial to be worthy in the eyes of Rikcha and the head priests assured me it was not a sin rather a service to Rikcha¡± ¡°And I thought the king was deranged¡­fuck me these priests really broke you didn¡¯t they?¡± ¡°Dam-¡± ¡°He¡¯s right you know¡±Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website. ¡­ .. . What was that? Turning round, I see a tall muscular man with spiky black hair with a perfect stubble and golden eyes walking nakedly towards us. ¡°¡­Rikcha?¡± ¡°WHAT?¡± Everyone turns round on her, but isn¡¯t Rikcha like a god or something? ¡°Yes dear Fiera it is I, listen to these men as they are surprisingly knowledgeable about all aspects of the situation¡± ¡°So you did fuck her¡± Drake chuckles towards the newcomer *Twitch* ¡°I did, since it was the easiest way to manifest her power¡± ¡°Is today bullshit day or something?¡± Billy complains from the floor ¡°Don¡¯t talk like that to him!¡± Fiera whips round to him, backhanding him with enough force to further floor him. Jesus she¡¯s strong. ¡°At least you¡¯re not idiots, fine can¡¯t be bothered with sounding divine and shit anyway. Heyo you little mortal shits. I¡¯m Rikcha a Divine so if you do try to insult me, I will blast you into smithereens.¡± His entire tone takes a three sixty as he drops the posh-like accent into a more common chatty one ¡°I did have sex with her because I¡¯m a Divine and I can do what I want but also because it would unlock her power too¡­plus she¡¯s actually really hot: look at her she¡¯s an actual babe with firm D cups, curling red hair and a spotless pristine face and body. As mortal humans go she¡¯s pretty fine¡­and knows exactly what she¡¯s doing in the bedroom. I mean fucking other gods can be fun, bashing into mountains and destroying the landscape in a passionate frenzy but seriously they¡¯re all plastic and magic, she¡¯s the real deal and oh my let me tell you I¡¯ve never been happier that my prayers require so much tongue¡± ¡°Wait a second are you telling us natural disasters are you guys fucking eachother?¡± Billy and Drake both say exactly the same thing. ¡°Not all of them but a large amount yes. Being a divine can be bloody boring I tell you. Anyways completely off topic and oh shit I¡¯m running out of time, bloody rules. Now onto you Fiera. I gave you the power so you could firstly cleanse my church of the corrupted who abuse its power to have its way with young maidens such as yourself. I thought you were going to get vengeance or something, but noooo apparently you got completely broken by the rape program. Seriously woman I thought you had some mental fortitude! I waited five years, five whole bloody years for you to accept what happened to you, to notice that they were abusing others and that something was wrong with the church but you end up buggering off with this lot instead, believing I was preparing you for babysitting duties!¡± ¡°Shit Fiera he really did have so many plans for you, you really fucked that one up¡± Drake being an asshole again. ¡°Ahh, well fuck it, you have got to learn to accept that you got raped and used and abused for six months, yes six, they locked you in a tiny room for that bloody long, and then go and kill those bastards who are abusing my name, Please, I don¡¯t want to be known as the Divine of rape¡± ¡°Even though you did exactly that to Fiera herself¡­who is currently not working¡± Bram waves his hand in front of her blank unresponsive face. ¡°All the divines do it, I mean take Orgie who goes around inciting orgies it¡¯s not exactly uncommon, plus Apostles come live with us once they die so either fuck them when they¡¯re young or make sure they die early and stay young and beautiful forever. Plus I gave her powers so she could at least thank me in such a crude way¡± He ends the sentence with a wink ¡°You¡¯re like Zeus¡± I blurt out. I¡¯ve read somewhere before that Zeus went around sleeping with people. ¡°Oh you guys come from Earth then! How¡¯s the Roman empire doing? Wait no time for that. But yes Zeus is a good example of what we¡¯re like, though telling you all of this doesn¡¯t matter as you¡¯ll forget this meeting once I¡¯m gone since Divines can¡¯t make too big of an influence on the mortal plane due to some bullshit rule and SHIT¡± ¡°You know for a god you¡¯re rather human¡± Bram stops trying to get a response from Fiera ¡°I mean I have to watch the world go in real time, it¡¯s fucking boring. Anyways, since I¡¯m seriously going to be gone in a minute, two things: firstly don¡¯t you even mention anything about this meeting-¡± ¡°Weren¡¯t you going to wipe our memories?¡± ¡°Can¡¯t. You¡¯re not part of my jurisdiction since you¡¯re not from this world. So don¡¯t say a thing or I am in deep shit. And that brings us onto the second thing¡­if you do so happen to mention the fact that we talked and you remember¡­I will rip your spines out and feed you them, got it?¡± ¡°No mentioning of this meeting or we¡¯re dead, got it, but if we do mention it can you please kill Furry first, I want to see him die before me at least¡± ¡°Oy you bastard I¡¯ll kill you first¡± ¡°Alright you two simmer down, Rikcha are we supposed to help Fiera or something?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been watching you guys for a bit¡­you don¡¯t look like the type to help but if for some reason you do be subtle and also make sure she dies before she¡¯s thirty because I don¡¯t really have a nice piece of ass in my house. Anywho, I am allowed to give one word to her because bullshit rules that¡¯s why. I mean who the fuck is going to be able to make a difference with a word every five bloody years. Ahem¡­Rape. Well please try your best to actually fulfil my wishes Fiera, and the rest of you, keep doing what you¡¯re doing it¡¯s entertaining in the least, since I¡¯m seriously bored and you bring something to my life. Rikcha out bitches!¡± *Whoosh* ¡­ .. . ¡°Well that was fucking weird¡± ¡°For once Scaly, I agree with you. That was er¡­something¡± ¡°At least we know religion isn¡¯t just bullshit anymore¡± ¡°RAPE¡± Fiera jumps up, somehow haven fallen unconscious/asleep at some point, pushing Billy into the crackling embers to much yelping and swearing. ¡°Woah what a dream you¡¯re having there¡± Bram kneels by her side, getting a fist into his face. She¡¯s scary. ¡°How dare all of you do that to me, how could you?!¡± ¡°Wait a second, what are you talking about?¡± Billy crawls out of the fire ¡°Rikcha warned me that you raped me, how could you do such a thing to me?¡± ¡°Tell me do you feel like you¡¯ve been raped?¡± ¡°How would I know what that feels like?¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°Well¡­you did do that smexy black guy¡± ¡°Don¡¯t bloody mention it again Billy!! It didn¡¯t happen¡± ¡°Alrighty but we didn¡¯t rape you. I mean at least three of us have no sexual attraction to you¡± ¡°I don¡¯t like red heads¡± I chime in ¡°And that¡¯s all four of us so maybe in your wildest dreams we raped you, but we¡¯d rather not know about it¡± Drake continues off of Billy. ¡°Well¡­Rikcha told me¡± ¡°He didn¡¯t tell you we were raping you exactly¡± Bram cuts in with a grin ¡°¡­No, he once again gave me the word rape and I just assumed it was you guys since you were trying to steal away my virtue¡± ¡°After the last incident¡­yeah I¡¯d rather not. Plus you¡¯re not even that hot¡± ¡°You¡¯d like a bit less life in her wouldn¡¯t you Necro¡± ¡°Oh definitely. Anyways, Fiera whatever you and your Divine have going on leave us out of it, but perhaps he was trying to resurface some old trauma or something, I don¡¯t know¡± Why does it sound like Bram is trying to tell her about what happened? ¡°Old trauma¡­nah, ah well guess l I¡¯ll meditate on it some and figure out what he meant¡± ¡°Do that later, we¡¯ve got to get some rest and then magic!!¡± Bram lies back down in his corpse-like position. ¡°But what about teaching me how to get past¡­that¡± I don¡¯t even want to try remember the bile of people ripping into eachother, the smells, urlrp. ¡°Keep imagining it until it no longer scares you, keep putting yourself into the situation until it¡¯s no longer something inconceivable and keep throwing up until it no longer makes you¡± Bram yawns out before supposedly nodding off. ¡°And what experience do you have of traumas Bram?¡± Fiera looks at him rather curious, probably since her own way of dealing with them¡­well wasn¡¯t. ¡°Parents died, had haemophobia and necrophobia, worked in a morgue until I got over it¡± ¡°And now you¡¯re sexually attracted to dead people, if that isn¡¯t a fucked up bedtime romance story I don¡¯t know what is¡± Drake chuckles one last time before entering the single tent we have. ¡°I¡¯m not the only one¡± what does he mean by that? ¡­ (Kyora Nanahiko¡¯s POV) ¡°Oh Goddess I¡¯ve found them!¡± Miguel whispers quietly to me. I mean it¡¯s not like I don¡¯t enjoy him praising me and being all valiant and whatnot¡­but his reasons why are just sliiightly annoying. At least he somehow in a roundabout way saved me from the elf sex-ring and introduced me to other ¡®heroes¡¯. They were strange to say the least; a cripple, a fat kid, one decently handsome guy and of course that dark and crazy man who looked like he crawled out of hell. Their image was one thing but their aversion to helping people was a rather¡­refreshing contrast to Miguel who ran around trying to save any young woman, usually kids. Though I do feel sorry for their gorgeous guardian with that beautifully wavy red hair and plump lips, mmm. ¡°Goddess are we going to say hi?¡± Miguel having a moment here¡­and it¡¯s gone. ¡°Not just yet¡± I shift through the thicket until I reach their small campsite, the two lovers spooning by the fire, fast asleep. Alone in the woods and you¡¯re sleeping? Well Aunty Nana is going to have to show you the ropes. Signalling for Miguel to take out the rope, we tie the two lovers together. Hehe this is what they get for being such heavy sleepers AND leaving us to get attacked by our own guardian plus others. ¡°Bj?rn not another round I¡¯m too tired¡± The ¡®girl¡¯ of the two giggles tiredly as I tighten the knot around them gently. ¡°Sarah what are you talking about?¡± Bj?rn tiredly opens up his eyes. ¡°Hello you two, have fun running away from the rest of us?¡± Both jump but since they¡¯re tied together by the midsection it¡¯s more of a flopping around. ¡°Kyora you came back, I thought you disappeared and Miguel you¡¯re here too! How are you guys doing!?¡± ¡­ .. . Bloody Swedish, way too happy and optimistic, I tied you together and the first thing you say is hello how are you doing? ¡°I¡¯ve been better, now let¡¯s go get ourselves some magic¡± ¡°Syster vaknar¡± ¡®He¡¯ gives her tender kisses at the back of her neck slowly stirring her back into consciousness ¡°Bror¡­¡± Oh god no don¡¯t start with the public display of affection, seriously at least worry slightly that you¡¯re tied up ¡­ .. . ¡°Stop it fools, you¡¯re hurting the eyes of this Goddess, get up and let¡¯s get going and no more canoodling until we have reached out destination or I will not be happy¡± ¡°Oh no Miguel don¡¯t be sad we¡¯ll be good, and we¡¯ll be free of this rope ya¡± Oh these people are insufferable, Right first spell I¡¯m learning is memory wipe or one to make me temporarily deaf and blind¡­whichever¡¯s easiest in all fairness. ¡°I don¡¯t want us ever to be apart Syster¡± Please let me meet that fiery priestess once more before I gouge my eyes out from all this PDA¡­