《Fears》 Chapter 1 ¡°Excuse me, sorry, but could you show me where to find an empty room for Light?¡± The woman in front of my desk has a camera in one hand and clutches it tight to her chest. I smile, bow my head, and step out from behind the counter. ¡°Of course. I have to ask that you leave your camera here, however. Unless that¡¯s your Gifting?¡± Her fingers weave around the dark strap and she nods. It¡¯s fast, blink and you miss it, and I lead her down the corridor. Her heels echo softly on the marble, as the stone lightens and branches off into separate cells. I face her as I turn from the open doorway, gesturing her in. ¡°Everything you need should be in there, but you can always press this and I¡¯ll come check in, alright?¡± She nods again, ducks into the room and closes the door behind her. I add in the necessary information on the computer once I¡¯m back at my desk, watching the candles flicker by the entrance as a breeze moves through the atrium. A group removes their shoes as they enter the courtyard, rinsing their faces with the cool water trickling from mossy stones in the center, laughter tinkling at a joke from the tallest. Their voices hush as they enter the temple, but eyes remain shimmering with unsaid words. As they approach the back, something twinges in my chest, recognition. I know at least one of them, I¡¯m sure of it. ¡°Enna?¡± And oh, oh, I knew that voice, knew all of their voices, it was only one or two years ago I heard that laughter everyday through the branches of trees, joyful screaming in the woods, passing our days in summer sun. I hear those voices every day in my thoughts. I wave meekly, straightening my spine and trying to keep my customer service smile strong. ¡°Hi, Loren. Asher. Talin. It¡¯s been so long. How are you?¡± Asher steps behind the counter to give me a hug, and I try to reciprocate it awkwardly. He grins down at me, ruffling my hair. ¡°¡®A long time¡¯. You¡¯re crazy, y¡¯know that? It¡¯s been ages! Where have you been?¡± Loren clears her throat from the side, and I turn to face them again.Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Sorry,¡± She says, but she doesn¡¯t look very sorry at all. ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± Asher looks back and forth between us awkwardly, and I shift my attention back to my computer. ¡°So, if I¡¯m remembering right, you¡¯ll want two rooms for Dark and directions to a group chamber in Passage?¡± Asher grins at me, albeit a bit less than before. ¡°Correct as always. You always knew Talin would end up in Dark, didn¡¯t you?¡± I give him an awkward shrug. ¡°Wait here just a moment.¡± As I lead Loren and Talin to two private rooms, I hear their hushed mutters loud and clear. The lighting slowly dims until everything seems low and quiet, until Talin finally pipes up. ¡°So, I guess you finally found your connection after all these years?¡± His voice holds a quiet confidence. My eyes narrow, and keep walking. ¡°I mean, to be working in a Temple, of all places, you kind of have to have a connection for that. And the main Temple? They probably have pretty strict requirements, right?¡± I know what they¡¯re doing. Trying to goad me on, threaten me. They¡¯ve done this before, ages ago, until I gave in and stopped fighting them. But I won¡¯t let myself be fought out of here. ¡°No, actually. They saw how good my record was and had no problems letting me in. I¡¯m perfectly qualified to be here.¡± Loren scoffs behind me, and I can feel the huff of warm air tickle the hair brushing against my neck. ¡°Suure. Don¡¯t think I didn¡¯t notice how you ignored the actual question. You really are a connectionless, aren¡¯t you?¡± She rolls her her eyes and nudges Talin again. ¡°Freak.¡± I walk faster, my jaw clenching and unclenching as I show them to their respective rooms and ignore the rest of the pointed comments. I pause to lean against the wall at the end of the corridor, breathing deeply. I can see Asher lingering in the lobby, waiting for me, and I straighten again. You would think the hard part is over, I think mirthfuly, mouth twisting into a wry smile. If only. Emerging back into the open space, I gesture to Asher and he follows in a few quick strides. He¡¯s always been unfairly tall, all legs and limbs. I feel his hands brush against the white fabric of my clothing, eyebrows furrowing playfully. Just like always. ¡°Never thought you to be one to wear white, En¡¯s. This is quite the look you have going on,¡± his shoulder nudging against mine as a familiar smile opens up his features. ¡°Your hair has grown too.¡± I shrug, not quite feeling it in myself to pull away from his close walk. ¡°It fits better with the workplace. Gotta keep a jobs somehow, right?¡± ¡°Ah, come on. We all know you¡¯re hiding some insanely strong connection somewhere in that big mind of yours, you¡¯re gonna be the next prodigy of our generation, I¡¯m calling it now,¡± his hands spread out in front of him like a title screen. My smile shifts uncomfortably. ¡°Enna Sterling: The Next Great Prodigy of¡­¡± his hands drop to his chin instead, strawberry blond hair tickling at his fingers. He looks playfully over at me. ¡°Love, of course! Such a hopeless romantic, it¡¯s obvious for all to see.¡± I laugh, but it sounds hollow in my ears. I looks up to find we¡¯ve arrived that the group chamber I¡¯m escorting him to, and I step aside. He glances at me again, sombering, his eyes sad. ¡°I haven¡¯t seen you in months.¡± ¡°I know.¡± ¡°Where have you been, Enna?¡± I simply nod him forward, close the door, and walk away. Chapter 2
The light breeze I felt earlier has solidified into heavy winds by the time I leave the Temple for home, making sure my colleague is set up for his shift before beginning the cold walk back to my residence. Dark strands of hair fly back and forth, smacking my face while the loose fabric of my pants whip against my legs. I hunch my back against the chill and march resolutely onward, sun steadily lowering beyond the mountains behind me. It¡¯s really quite curious, my minds supplies, useless knowledge I learned in school still taking up space in my head. Vast doesn¡¯t resort to windstorms often, unless she feels someone has wronged her. Granted, she is one of the more¡­ volatile Deities. I¡¯m considering the merits of catching the train and getting home sooner as I hear the first shout from an alleyway just in front of me, echoed by a resounding smack. I¡¯m quick to hurry forward, looking around the corner to see a man crouched on the ground, blond hair falling over his face as he reaches up one hand to a reddening cheek. Another man is clutching a tight fist, glaring down at the first. His voice is angry when he speaks, venom dripping from the words. ¡°I don¡¯t know what you think you¡¯re doing messing with me, but I¡¯ll have you know I am a disciple of Fertility herself. I am not a beggar, and I am not interested in fraternizing with a Connectionless,¡± He shudders, as if the very thought repulses him, and it¡¯s then when I notice the small gold flecks of coins scattered over the cobblestones. He continues, as if his previous words weren¡¯t enough to get his point across. ¡°And I don¡¯t even want to think about the nerve you have to put your hands on me, grabbing at me as if I could ever-¡± ¡°Hey!¡± I step forward, ignoring the tugging in my gut that tells me to run, run, run, far away from this man, from all the other bullies who think of us as less simply because we haven¡¯t found out Connection. ¡°That¡¯s enough. You¡¯ve said your piece, now leave and let this man pick himself up and get home. This weather is far too unpleasant to be standing outside in,¡± I try to reason, noticing the way his nose and cheeks are flushed pink. He turns to face me, scowling as if he¡¯s smelt something sour. ¡°Oh yeah? And whose fault is that? It¡¯s obviously people like him, who are angering the Deities enough that they¡¯re trying to rid of them. I¡¯m just doing my duty and a citizen, after all.¡± He eyes me up and down, as if anything on my figure could somehow show what Deity I belong to. ¡°Oh, no, don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re one of them,¡± He snarls, standing up straighter and taking a step towards me. ¡°Got a whole saviour complex, don¡¯t¡¯cha? Want to save the poor, ¡°helpless¡± man from a bully?¡± The tugging in my gut grows stronger, run, run, RUN. ¡°And so what if I am?¡± His hand flies towards me with a lunge, and I bolt, slipping on wet stones as my feet fly back down the street, and when did it start raining? I don¡¯t know, all I know is the feeling of danger and fear and run. This isn¡¯t the first time this has happened, not in the slightest, my instincts battling between fight and flight, the twinge in my chest whenever people degrade my fellow Connectionless for something they can¡¯t help. I hear a shout behind me, and feet pounding behind me, and I keep running, fleeing from a situation I provoked further than it probably every would¡¯ve gone. But it might¡¯ve, my mind betrays, rationalizing my countless rash decisions. At least if the man is chasing you, he¡¯s not further agonizing that poor soul in the alley. Yeah, maybe. But I might also die for it. I look up to find myself approaching the pillars of the Temple, my feet guiding me there without any other thought. My legs are tiring, face stung with wind and rain and my clothes are almost transparent with how soaked through I am. Removing my shoes, I lean against a pillar in the cover of a small ledge, breathing deeply. Athleticism has never been my strong suit. The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.
Not knowing what else to do, or if I¡¯m still being trailed, I step back inside the building, Ren immediately noticing me and frowning from where¡¯s she typing away on the computer. ¡°Enna, what in the world are you doing here? Is the weather really that bad?¡± I shake my head, wearily setting myself down on the spare seat next to the desk. ¡°No, sorry. Tried to stop a fight, dude moved in to hit me, I bolted. Ran here.¡± She simply sighs, looking at me with exasperation. ¡°Enna, you cannot keep doing that. I know you feel annoyed when people hurt others like you but it¡¯s not your fight. You¡¯re going to get yourself killed, and I¡¯d rather that not happen near me,¡± she says, as her fingers tap absentmindedly on the table. Seeming to decide on something, she opens a drawer and hands me a candle. ¡°Listen, I know you think it¡¯s useless, but go light a candle for Love and pray. Pray that you¡¯ll finally be able to stop with these pointless fights and interventions and think for once. Okay?¡± She hands me the long stick of wax and ushers me onward. The doubt in my features is clear, but I continue anyway, her Attribute always making me feel more open when I¡¯m around her, because it¡¯s not like it can make anything any worse. I¡¯ve prayed to every Deity, lit candles, made sacrifices, but nada. Not even an inkling of any sort of attachment. Nobody has been able to decide if the Deities can hear prayers from those without Connection, if they can even tell we exist, but I¡¯m at my wits end and so is Ren, so is everyone, so what could a simple offering hurt? Reaching the first empty chamber, I enter and shut the wooden door behind me. The rooms are not nearly as occupied as they usually are during the day, disciples mixed with couples,fianc¨¦es, people hoping for a bit of a beauty lift before big days. It¡¯s been months since I was here myself, except to show someone where to go. I close my eyes for a moment, soaking in the soft light and shimmering walls. Lighting the candle with a match, I lay it in the centre of the cool floor and kneel. What am I even doing? I think, staring down at my bedraggled self. Working in a Temple, getting into fights, ignoring people I used to call my friends. What went wrong? What do I do? Somewhere along the way my thoughts have turned into spoken word, and I run a pale hand through my knotted curls. ¡°It shouldn¡¯t be such a big deal, people get harassed all the time, and I would probably be fine if I didn¡¯t intervene. Am I actually doing anything other than just escalating the situation? I¡¯ve never been attacked myself, but I keep ending up worse off than anyone else because of my stupid fight impulse. I know you can¡¯t hear me, probably don¡¯t care, but what am I supposed to do?¡± My eyes are shut, and I sigh, deep. My heart rests in the same pattern it did two minutes ago, my head still races, the ground is cool against my knees through the fabric of my clothes. ¡°What am I supposed to do?¡± I sit there for a moment, a part of me hoping that maybe, just maybe I¡¯ll get some response. Some sign, a feeling, something to tell me I might be lucky. But nothing happens, because nothing will ever happen. My life is pre-destined, and I¡¯m alone. Like I always will be, like I¡¯ve accepted I¡¯ll be. I take one more deep breath, push of the ground, and roll back my shoulders. Then I turn to blow out the candle, and see a man standing at the door, fingers gently waving away the smoke of an already extinguished flame. Jumping back, I stare at him suspiciously. His hair is long, tied up in a knot at the nape of his neck and clean shaven. The lightest eyes I¡¯ve ever seen stare back at me, somehow piercing and gazing wide all at once. He¡¯s wearing a loose suit, shirt flowy, jacket unbuttoned. His head tilts as he remains saying nothing, and I step back once. For the first time in years, the urge to fight is in the back of my mind, replaced instead with the core knowledge this is something powerful. I sink to my knees slowly, keeping my eyes on his face, but not daring to stare straight into those eyes again. He simply hums once, looking pensive. ¡°Hidden beneath the ground in Dark. The curtains in the group chamber, look there. You¡¯ll find a passageway.¡± Huh? I stare dumbly at him, shocked enough to sit back. He just chuckles, nods at me, and turns to leave. ¡°Who are you?¡± I make out, my words stilling the air around us. without turning, he responds calmly. ¡°Who do you think?¡± It¡¯s phrased like an actual question, like he¡¯s curious to know the answer, but before I can say anything else, the air ripples and he disappears without a sound. Chapter 3
I can¡¯t do anything but stand there dumbly for the moments after the mysterious stranger leaves, vanishing without a trace. I don¡¯t even bother to grab the melted candle before I leave the room, pushing open the door he never even touched. My mind battles conflicting thoughts as I tread down the hall, some part of me knowing deep inside that it¡¯s impossible for that to be anything but a Deity, but refusing to believe it. I still feel no shift inside myself, no part of my being transferred to a higher level. My chest holds the same nagging, anxious feeling it always has, pulling me in very direction at once as I try to gather my own thoughts. ¡°Hey, Ren?¡± I call, once I¡¯ve entered the entryway again. She looks up, an eyebrow raised slightly. Yeah? What is it? ¡°Did anyone else go down to Love while I was in there?¡± I ask, needing this one last piece of confirmation before I can accept the implication the news implies. ¡°No, directed a couple to Dark and Fertility, but none to Love. Why?¡± Her face is curious, open, I can tell she wants to know what happened while I was in there. I just shake my head, needing the moment to collect my thoughts. ¡°No reason. Just curious what the night traffic is like, I¡¯m normally only on the day shift,¡± I smile slightly, trying to curb the questions I know she¡¯s about to ask. Ren just frowns, eyeing the way my hands are twisting each other into knots while I rock nervously back and forth. She can tell I¡¯m not saying anything more, though, and instead directs attention to my ragged appearance. ¡°You looks like you¡¯ve just seen a ghost, Enna. Go home, get some sleep, and for goodness sakes do not get into another fight on the way. In fact-¡± she crouches down and hands me her phone, ¡°call someone and have them take you home. I¡¯m not letting you out there alone again.¡± I take the phone lightly with two fingers, staring at her with squinted eyes. ¡°And who am I supposed to call? I don¡¯t live with anyone, and you are currently the closest thing I have to a friend, so.¡± Ren¡¯s mouth moves downward. ¡°What about that boy who was asking about you earlier, I think his name was Asher?¡± It¡¯s clear she can see the blatant surprise on my face, and keeps going in more detail. ¡°Blond hair, dark eyes, disciple of Dark? He was leaving and seemed sad when I said your shift had already ended.¡± ¡°No, I- I know who he is, I¡¯m just a bit surprised that he thought to ask for me. But, regardless, I don¡¯t even know his number. I doubt he¡¯d come anyway.¡± All I get in response is a single raised eyebrow, and a further head tilt towards the device in my hand. Gritting my teeth, I give Ren a face and turn to the opposite end of the entrance. I¡¯m not nearly surprised as I should be when my fingers type out the number instinctually, a dial tone greeting me while I raise the phone to my ear. It rings once, twice, three times, and I start to worry that maybe I actually don¡¯t know his number anymore, or maybe he¡¯s changed it, or, or, or- ¡°Hello?¡± I breathe out a sigh that is almost definitely audible through the speakers, and shift the hand holding Ren¡¯s phone closer to my face. ¡°Hey, Asher. It¡¯s, um. It¡¯s Enna.¡± ¡°Enna?¡± ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m calling from my coworkers phone, I got into a bit of a fight and now she won¡¯t let me leave until I have a ride to take me home. I would call someone else, but, well¡­¡± I trail off, not knowing how to end the sentence without sounding hopelessly pathetic. ¡°Not a problem. You¡¯re at the Temple?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be there soon,¡± he replies, voice sounding tinny through the speaker. The phone disconnects, and I hand it back to Ren begrudgingly. ¡°He¡¯s coming to get me.¡± ¡°I told you he would.¡± ¡°Shut up.¡± Walking back out to the front, I grab my shoes again and wait by the road for Asher to arrive. Seeing him twice in one day after not seeing each other for a year. How you will you ever live this one down? My thoughts run in circles, my mind full to bursting with the event of a single evening. And the fact you saw a Deity¡­This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience. No, no no no. I push the thought back to the furthest corners of my mind. I can think about that more once I¡¯m alone at my house. Not a moment sooner. The growling sound of an engine snaps me out of the thoughts chasing each other inside my mind, and Asher is in front my me on his motorcycle. Even through everything, it still makes me chuckles as I rise from my spot crouched on the side of the street. ¡°You still have this ratty old thing?¡± The smile I get in return is genuine, the right side of his mouth lifting slightly higher than the left in his crooked grin. ¡°Of course I do! I¡¯d never let this girl go, not after all the time and energy I¡¯ve put into her,¡± he quips, hand outstretched in case I need help getting onto the back. I slide on easily and without assistance, settling familiarly onto the leather. His arm returns to the handles, clenching once before starting off slowly. ¡°Address?¡± he asks, reminding me that he doesn¡¯t know where I live anymore. ¡°3771 Raine Crescent. It¡¯s not too far from here,¡± from my old house, I almost add, before deciding better of it and cutting myself off. He nods, and speeds up until I can feel the wind pick up. It gives me pause, remembering the weather when I was running. ¡°Hey, how long has the weather been back to normal?¡± I ask, my voice raised over the wind blowing past my ears. Asher hunches his back over a bit to hear me better, and pauses for only a moment before responding. ¡°Half an hour, maybe? It was only raining for like, 40 minutes. It was so weird, and I bet those conspiracy theorists from Passage will have a bunch of wacky opinions about it on the news tomorrow,¡± he replies, and I¡¯m startled to realize the program we used to joke about it as kids still runs. I don¡¯t mention the fact I haven¡¯t tuned in for months, since the memories around it became too strong to keep watching every other night. We spend the rest of the short ride in heavy silence, both of us floundering for a safe topic after such a long time apart, so many unsaid words left on our tongues. By the time we reach the building my apartment is in, I¡¯m more than eager to be alone and finally think about what just happened and what I¡¯m supposed to do about it. I slide off the bike smoothly and mutter a quick thank you before making to move inside. Asher grabs my hand instead, keeping me from escaping too fast. His face looks pained under the helmet, grip strong. ¡°Enna, what¡¯s going on?¡± I just shake my head. ¡°It¡¯s nothing big. I¡¯ll be fine. I promise.¡± He frowns, holds my wrist tighter, and I can feel his pulse steady in his fingers.¡±No, you don¡¯t get to do this again. You can¡¯t just call me saying you got into a fight and need a ride without any other details. I haven¡¯t seen you since last winter. I don¡¯t want you to disappear again. Please,¡± he asks, while I gently try to pull away. But he isn¡¯t done, his low voice telling me all the things I¡¯ve wondered about for years, ever since I left. ¡°I have a girlfriend, and I think you two would get along great. I know you and Loren had a falling out but we don¡¯t need to include them in our plans, we can get together. The two or three of us, at that beach you always liked. Don¡¯t be a stranger again, Enna.¡± His plead for return makes me feel nauseous, stomach churning. I finally manage to pull away his fingers and step back, out of his reach. ¡°I¡¯ll see you around, Asher,¡± I say, not looking at his eyes, and I duck through the door before he can say anything else.
I¡¯m not able to stomach anything more than some crackers once I¡¯m back in my apartment, stomach still churning with the anxiety of Asher¡¯s comments and the events of the day. A futile attempt to try and keep my body moving at the same pace as my mind ends with me panting on the bed, a frantically tidied room looking no different than it did ten minutes ago. Abandoning any hope of ignoring the situation any longer, I finally allow myself the time to open the box in my mind I shoved my encounter into. The memories are hazy, even as recent as it was, yet the lines of the man-Deity-thing are crisp and vivid in my mind. Along with the words, said so smoothly in a deep monotone. Beneath the ground in Dark. I think back to the stories we¡¯re told as children, the ones recalling the ancient disciples and their encounters with the Deities. Because no matter how much I try, no matter how much I want to, I can¡¯t fathom the thought that that man was anything, anyone else than a Deity. Which comes with a truckload of implications, of questions, and most importantly, why. Because as much as my heart may yearn for it, I know I am still Connectionless. My encounter did not change or reveal something inside of me, and it¡¯s painfully noticeable that even if I tried my hardest, I would feel nothing more than I have always felt, deep inside myself. Which simply serves to bewilder me further, because I also know I am beyond low. I will never get a proper job, none of the ones noticed by society that require Attributes and Connections. And as much as I claim I¡¯m not scared, that I¡¯m perfectly qualified, my time at the Temple will come to an end once someone high up thinks too hard and wonders why they¡¯re employing someone Connectionless in a place created on the very basis of having that connection with the Deities. And what will happen to me then? Where will I go? I have no one to turn to, everyone has drifted from me as they find Connection and community yet I stay in the same place I have always been, steadily moving forward without thought, shoving everything into boxes within my mind and forgetting. Everyone except Asher, that is, the only friend who fought as I tried to pull away, who still fights now, but how long can it possibly last? How long can someone possibly keep trying for someone who clearly doesn¡¯t want their help? Not long. And I know it. Beneath the ground in Dark¡­ Do I investigate? It¡¯s a silly question, because of course I will. A Deity comes to you, gives you a command? You do it. No questions asked. But what if I find something I don¡¯t like? You live with it, my mind supplies. And I suppose I don¡¯t really have a choice in the matter. If nothing else, my curiosity will no doubt get the better of me in the end. I¡¯m hopelessly curious, always have been. And if I die? Well, I suppose I¡¯ll cross that bridge if I come to it. Chapter 4 The plan has already formed in my mind before I have time to completely process it, but I know it will work. Working at the same place, on the same shift, for eight months means it¡¯s not too hard to know how to sneak in. The only issue will be ensuring no one recognizes me, that I seem like just another disciples of Dark heading to the group chambers. Even though they¡¯ll be empty. The nighttime chill is still heavy in the morning air when I step out of my apartment and into the near-empty streets, the unsettling time of day when the sky is just brightening and everything is bathed in gleams of early-morning sun and sparkling dewdrops. It would be peaceful, calming, if it weren¡¯t for the recklessly stupid thing I¡¯m about to go do, for the bleariness of my mind from lack of sleep. It¡¯s rare for me to be up this early ¨C my work at the Temple doesn¡¯t start until late afternoon, and I never have anything better to do but lay at home until I have to leave. But today that changes, the thrill in my stomach a mix between paralyzing fear and exhilaration. I¡¯ve never done something like this before, but I¡¯m more than ready. People have just started to emerge from their homes by the time I reach the Temple, moving my hood up to cover my face. I thought long and hard about if I should fake something as my Attribute, but Dark really doesn¡¯t have many physical skills related to it. Mostly, they can see spirits, or have excellent vision, or something not easily revealed. ¡°This would be so much easier if I was in Light, or Fertility,¡± I mutter, both Deities gifting practical Attributes, like art, or photography, or skill with animals. Thoughts aside, I tug my hood down just a little further to completely disguise my face in shadow. In a different life, I might say it was a blessing that the person working in the Temple today was new, that I¡¯d never met them, but I don¡¯t get blessings. No, this is luck, and chance, and the fact that I made my plans around my knowledge he would be on shift. Warm air envelops me as I tread into the sweet-smelling air of the atrium, incense just lit. There are few people walking around, some disciples of Vast leaving and bright red hair standing out like a flame from behind the front desk. The new hire looks young, probably still in school, and waves kindly at me as I approach ¡°Hi there! What can I do for you today?¡± As if it isn¡¯t obvious, I think, somewhat cruelly. But his smile is bright and genuine, lighting up his face, and I find it in myself to hold me tongue. ¡°Dark, group chambers. Please,¡± I add as an afterthought. He nods and starts leading me down the halls, and it feels like torture to act as if I haven¡¯t walked these same halls a million times before, shown people to the same room I¡¯m being led to. He steps aside from the grand door with a flourish, waving me inside. ¡°No one in there right now, you¡¯re an early riser. I¡¯m sure people will be trickling in soon though!¡± He gives me one last smile, a small salute, and walks away back down the way we came. Closing the door behind me as quietly as I can, I press an ear to it before rushing back to the centre of the large space. The curtains in the group chamber¡­ there. Taking hold of the bag I dropped, I¡¯m quick to push them aside as I reach the far side of the cold, dimly lit room. My heart beating in my ears, I search the ground for something, anything different from the rest. I¡¯m starting to think it¡¯s all a bust before I find it, fingers running over a slight ridge in the tile, further pushing and prodding revealing a crack I can just slip my nails into. Pulling up, the slab of stone grates away with a sound much too loud for my liking. Stomach in my throat, I peer down. The hole is wide, could probably fit me and then some. It continues deeper and deeper, shrouded in darkness. Darkness in a passage hidden by Dark chambers. Of course. But at least I thought ahead. Some rustling away in my bag yields the flashlight I shoved in there a few hours before, batteries freshly changed and ready for something just like this. But just what I¡¯m doing, I¡¯m not sure. Are you seriously going into a dark tunnel underneath the Temple? For all you know, it could be a maintenance tunnel. Sewer access. What the heck, Enna? Groaning, I shove my head in my hands. What am I doing? I don¡¯t know what I¡¯ll find, if find anything at all, it could be something horrible and deadly for all I know. But I can¡¯t help but feel I have no choice, something inside me feeling pulled towards the gaping chasm. Are you serious? Yes. So you¡¯re actually doing this? Yes. Well, I can¡¯t stop you now. I guess not. A faint clicking behind me snaps me from my own thoughts, watching in horror as the door rattles. I don¡¯t have a moment more to think, and in the next instant I¡¯m enclosed in darkness, pulling the tile back over my head as faint light from the hall floods into the room.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. My heart beats erratically, in time with my racing heart. I crouch there a moment, hearing confused voices from above. I lean forward carefully, shifting so one foot is forward. I turn on my light. Or, I try to. Oh, oh no. Sinking down, I sit heavily. My light is above me, rolling around on the stone I just haphazardly pulled back into place. Nothing you can do about it now. I guess not. Reluctantly, I start to move forward. I don¡¯t know how much the dense floors will muffle my movements, so I try my best to move still and silently through the darkness. Slowly but surely, I can tell the floor is curving downwards, and keeping one hand on the rounded wall it almost seems as though it¡¯s moving in a deep spiral. Deep, deep underground. The air starts to develop that earthy, stale smell, similar only to the scent of gardening and pavement after rain. My hair starts sticking to the back of my neck, clinging to the water dripping down on me from above. My eyes have faintly adjusted, but I¡¯m still able to see little more than small rocks beneath my feet. I¡¯m no longer afraid to make noise, so deep underground it¡¯s impossible to be anywhere within earshot of the Temple. Or anything else, for that matter. The ceiling starts heightening as I descend, walls moving further apart from each other. The dampness is in the air now, and I can stand at full height with my arms and legs completely spread out, fingers just brushing the concrete. Soon enough the floor evens out and it¡¯s no longer descending anymore, just moving forward. On, and on, we prevail. On, and on, weary traveler, Don¡¯t let these trials tug you down, Keep your feet planted on the ground. The song comes to mind with little thought, an old verse from some epic about the ancient Deities and their original disciples. We sang it one year for a school production, before our Connections ¨C or lack thereof - became more prevalent and separated us into sections. I haven¡¯t sung in years, preferring to avoid the strange looks I recieve when it becomes clear I¡¯m not Gifted in it. My mother was, though. Her voice sounded as clear as the water I hear now, tumbling and crashing with a natural rasp and rawness that couldn¡¯t help but draw others in to listen. Wait. Water? Blinking once, twice, trying in vain to see further, I strain my eyes to catch a glimpse of whatever is waiting for me ahead, the rushing water I heard. There. It¡¯s clearer now, the crash of water against rocks, surging forward. I move forward with renewed purpose, feeling the ground through the toes of my shoes for water seeping through the fabric. A rock sends me stumbling forward, and glancing down, the lines are smudgedly visible through the dark. Searching forward once more, I confirm that yes, it is getting brighter. The horizon glows, though ever-so-slightly, with a pale shine. At a slow sprint now, the light grows until I can clearly see the walls, floor, the tunnel in front of me, straightening until I can see the source of the water, a crashing river moving onwards at a rapid pace, parallel to the path in front of me. Stepping further into the light, I see a point where the walls fall away, crumbling until it reaches an open cave, green moss hanging in vines from the side of rock walls and glistening with river spray. ¡°It¡¯s beautiful,¡± I breathe, taken back by the hidden beauty hiding here for years, decades, untouched, undisturbed by the influence of our society. This was here all along? It strikes me that this must be what the Deity who came to me must be talking about, this hidden oasis beneath Dark, the Temple, everything. That doesn¡¯t make sense, the nagging voice in my head chimes in. An all-powerful Deity appears to you, just to tell them about some scenery underground? And the passageway, too. It doesn¡¯t make sense: someone obviously knows this exists, created a twisting tunnel just for this? There¡¯s not a sign of human interference anywhere. No, it doesn¡¯t make sense. All that fuss, for this? It can¡¯t possibly end here. Moving further into the opening, I scan the walls for more entrances. I run my hands over the rock, search for the roots of the moss, but nothing. Everything here is natural, and I¡¯m getting nowhere. Except for the light. It was total darkness, for however long, until this mysterious cave. Where is the light coming from? I scan the room again, this time searching for the source of the encompassing light that bathes me in soft light. There. The base of the river, the river that¡¯s running in the opposite direction. An incline. But it can¡¯t possibly be coming from aboveground, I¡¯m too deep underground, and this light is pale, cold, not warm like rays from the sun. The angles are too close, the way it reflects makes me think it¡¯s nearby to the curve in the water. It feels almost¡­ artificial. Could it be? The walls are soaked with water from the river, so there¡¯s no climbing it, no hope crossing the river to get a better look. It¡¯s impossible to swim against the current, so that leaves a single option. Throw something. It seems barbaric, I know. But the amount of problems that can be solved with a solid throw would surprise you, so I go back down the tunnel aways, and find the heftiest rock I can find. It¡¯s only the size of my closed fist, and not very heavy, but it will have to do. As long as it doesn¡¯t shatter on the rock wall, it should hopefully bounce off further and hit whatever the light is shining from. And if it fails, well, I¡¯m none the worse for trying. With a final bounce back and forth in my hands, I heft it in my right, and throw. My aim isn¡¯t as good as it used to be when I did stuff like this every day, throwing stones or small sticks are imaginary targets for fun. But some part in me must remember it, because while I¡¯m off from my original target, I still manage to hit the wall in a good enough place that it ricochets as I intended, clattering back once, twice, until I hear a shattering crack! The light flashes out, and I¡¯m left in darkness again. My night vision has been destroyed, so I blink hard as I wait for my eyes to adjust again. The gravel crunches under my feet as I try to regain my bearings. My bag. It¡¯s just over there, I know it is, even if I can¡¯t see it. Taking small, timid baby steps, I shuffle my way over. I crouch down to feel for it with my hands, spreading them out against the rough ground. Something sharp punctures my palm, and I jerk back, momentarily off-balance. Leaning back down to fix my wobbling posture, I feel cold envelop the fabric of my shoe, grappling for purchase. I¡¯m still leaning, body out of control, only able to take one quick breath before plunging into the icy current. Chapter 5 The freezing water feels like icy needles being jabbed into my flesh, and the air is choked out of my lungs in a shocked exhale. I¡¯m sent tumbling, crashing into rocks this way and that, only catching a hurried sip of breath before being thrust back under the surface. I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping in vain this isn¡¯t where I die today. This isn¡¯t what I wanted! I scream out inside my head, fists clenching. Why do you have to take everything from me? And then my lungs are expanding painfully as I¡¯m spit out onto the freezing ground, coughing so hard my ribs ache. I can¡¯t feel anything past my pounding heart, body completely numb. I can hardly think past the roaring in my mind, annoyingly similar to the pounding river still beside me. I scramble back on the chilled ground, taking stock of my surroundings for the first time. I¡¯m outside again, the sun just descending from it¡¯s highest point in the sky. The ground all around me is soaked and cold, similar to how I¡¯m feeling at this moment. Just beyond the small hill I¡¯ve found myself on is another cave, this one shallow and with something sitting clearly in the center. Managing to pull my heavy body up off the ground, I slowly tread over to the shelter and see that the case on the ground is a small chest, no bigger than my torso if I were to lay down completely. The latch isn¡¯t locked, and I sit down labouriously before it and flick it once, twice, the lid creaking back and revealing it¡¯s contents. Paper. Lots, and lots of paper. Important papers, from the looks of it. Handwriting, not printed, covers every patch of white and cream. Really? I came all this way, almost died, for this? Really? Rifling through the sheets, I find a common factor in all of them: They look old. It¡¯s not odd to find paper documents laying around, especially ones as formal as these. But this isn¡¯t just paper, it¡¯s weighted, rough and frayed around the edges. These look handmade, and I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if it wasn¡¯t even made of the materials used to produce modern day pages. Some of them even have holes on the edges for binding: strands of thread still stick out from between the punctures. The writing itself seems to consist mainly of English, though even then it¡¯s old, formal, and several of the sheets are in different dialects and languages. Even more have smudged ink or blot marks covering information, and I¡¯m careful to keep it under the cave¡¯s cover at risk of the mist that¡¯s starting to creep up over the ground outside. Pulling the chest back into the furthest corner of the hollow, I settle down and pick up the top piece of paper. It¡¯s in English, and fairly understandable, but the cursive is so thick I¡¯m forced to hold it just inches away from my face, squinting as I work to decipher the code of loops and unnecessary swirls. And oh, oh my gosh. They¡¯re logs of the Deities. I rifle through more of them, scanning the ones with clear enough writing quickly. All of them mention each Deity at least once, recounting their roles and stances on a subject. It¡¯s referred to in almost every document, someone they name only as ¡°The 7th Deity,¡± as well as the word ¡°Fear,¡± over and over. One of the most hurried looking sheets details the disciple count and might of each entity, another lists what seem to be phobias, and the word ¡°Dark¡± is circled over and over until it¡¯s hardly visible through the hastily scribbled outline. And then the references just¡­ stop. The mysteriously named person ¨C Deity? ¨C stops appearing in any notes, not a single word detailing fear, or a missing figure. All other census¡¯s including the Deities look the same as they do today, but when compared to one that seems to¡¯ve been taken in the past, is missing an entire Deity and their disciples.This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. Their disciples. I¡¯ve never known anything past the world I was born into, a world with six Deities, with disciples and attributes and never being a part of it because as hard as I tried I could never seem to find my own Connection, could never seem to find that brilliant spark my classmates came to school raving about day after day, watching them form groups and explain how prayer worked and what it felt like praying to their Deity knowing they had a connection. Even the ones not quite sure of their Connection were included, because at least they could tell they had one, just hadn¡¯t narrowed it down yet. But this paper, these strange documents upheave all that, because there¡¯s another one, a Deity I¡¯ve never heard of before today, who might have disciples somewhere, disciples who must still live in the current world, who may even be- No. No, I can¡¯t let myself go down that train of thought, can¡¯t even entertain it for a moment because if I do I open Pandora¡¯s Box and give myself some sort of twisted hope, believing in strange writings I didn¡¯t know existed until today, that I found sitting in an unprotected box in the middle of nowhere and for all I know could be totally fake. What I need to be focusing on now is how I¡¯m getting out of this place, find a way to escape from the pinnacle of isolation and get warm, then go into work tomorrow with some lame excuse about what I was doing that got in the way and lead to me being MIA for an entire day. Taking a deep breath of the clean air, I stare at the contents scattered around me one last time. I should leave them here, I know that, but the temptation to gather as many as I can and shove them in my jacket is strong, to carry them with me and try to examine them more at my own house. But even if these aren¡¯t guarded too heavily, isn¡¯t a bit of a warning sign when they¡¯ve been kept a secret so hidden someone only finds them when a Deity tells them about it? There must be powerful forces behind it, ones I don¡¯t want to mess with. Begrudgingly, I shuffle them back together as cleanly as I can, brushing off small flecks of dirt and rock before closing the case again and savouring my last moment in relative comfort. Then I step back into the mist, microscopic droplets frizzing my hair and dampening my already chilled clothing. Great. Ascending the small incline behind me, I try to gather my surroundings as best I can. All I can see for miles is grass and rock, but it flattens off the same direction the river runs. I figure following the river downstream is my best bet, and start my slow slog downhill, grass and mug sticking to my inadequate footwear of plain running shoes, slowly staining the waterlogged navy blue fabric to a slimy blue-brown-black. Kierra would be so disappointed, I chuckle, an old acquaintance coming to mind for the first time in ages. She always loved clothing, obsessed over keeping away stains. Mother could¡¯ve learned so much from her. She always laughed more with her, back then. She still smiled. Another chuckle frees itself from my mouth, but this one is wry, filled with the irony of my stupid situation, the giant, cosmic joke of a situation. ¡°Wow, Enna,¡± I mutter, rolling my own eyes at myself. ¡°Empty plains really seem to bring out the pessimist in you, don¡¯t they?¡± I¡¯m not sure how long I spend wandering along the bank of the river, talking to myself and reflecting on how un-normal today has been, finding secret passages and rivers and possibly even unknown Deities when I finally see the lights of Kannora in the distance. I breathe out a sigh I wasn¡¯t even aware I was holding, parting from the winding river that heads in the opposite direction and towards the split where grass and dirt transforms into concrete and metal. I¡¯m not sure I¡¯ve ever needed a shower more in my life, feeling more like a weary sac of bones than a person by the time I reach the front door of my apartment building. But there¡¯s something on my counter. A candle, a Deital candle, like the ones we have at the Temple, lit and flickering. There¡¯s no note, no information, just the flame dripping wax onto my counter. Blue wax, white and periwinkle and navy and royal. Vast. Chapter 6
As much as I feel like I¡¯m doomed to spend the entire night tossing and turning, my tired body protests and eventually forces me into a deep sleep that lasts until a couple hours before I need to be at work. I know the responsible thing would be to go to the Temple early, apologize, explain, but I don¡¯t have a solid excuse yet and facing my colleagues is the last thing I feel like doing right now. So instead, I grab a bite to eat from the bakery down the street, and head to the Library. After my runners were destroyed yesterday, I had no choice but to wear my only other pair of shoes this morning, which just so happen to be boots with just enough of a heel to make walking torture, and I¡¯m forced to resort to catching the bus. The are smaller branches of the library closer to where I live, and I frequent them often when I need a change of scene, but for my purposes this morning I¡¯m in need of the full Archives, records running as far back as the founding of Elnis, the empire which eventually crumbled, and the dozens of other towns and cities and kingdoms that rose and fell before Hirslown was finally founded and still stands strong today. The pillars at the entrance are so thick I can¡¯t wrap my arms around them, imposing stone from decades past chipping in places, mirroring the weathered front of the building itself. A smell of old books and upholstery sweeps over me as I enter the revolving doors into the main lobby, displays for different events and seasonal groups staking claim against the right wall, shelves upon shelves expanding past my vision behind a dwarfed front desk. My shoes click uncomfortably loud as I approach, a kind looking old woman stamping papers glancing up and waving me forward. ¡°What can I do for you, hon?¡± I smile at her, practiced and comforting. ¡°I¡¯m looking for the Archives, are they open today?¡± She smiles back at me. ¡°Of course! Let me call over one of my assistants to help you, one moment,¡± she stands carefully and presses a button on the intercom behind her. ¡°Sasha, could you come up here to the front desk please? There¡¯s someone here looking for the Archives. Yes, of course, thank you dear,¡± she releases the button and turns back to me. ¡°My employee Sasha, she¡¯s one of the hardest workers I¡¯ve ever met, she¡¯ll be up to help in a moment. Looking for anything specific down there? It¡¯s not a place people usually go browsing in for fun,¡± she chuckles. ¡°Some information on the Deities, actually,¡± careful to make my tone curious and inviting, not wanting to invoke suspicion, to seem like I¡¯m looking for the wrong reasons. ¡°I work at the Main Temple down in the town centre, and I¡¯ve been hoping to find some more information on the Deities to assist the people who come better. Sometimes people ¨C especially younger ones - come in looking to find their connection and I want to help them understand Attributes and their Deities better. You¡¯d be surprised at how many people think we know the entire history of the world,¡± I laugh lightly. ¡°Oh, that¡¯s just wonderful, I¡¯m sure you do! But a young woman like yourself, taking such initiative, your Deity must be so proud to have you. Such a disciple to behold!¡± My smile grows tight, but I¡¯m saved from any more uncomfortable small talk by a girl around my age bustling in, dark skin flushed with the effort of carrying multiple stacks of folders up the stairs from the basement. When she speaks, her voice is bright and cheerful. ¡°I brought up those files you wanted, Celia, since I was coming up anyway. And this is?¡± She holds out a hand after vacating her arms by placing the stack on the desk. I shake it, and her grip is firm. ¡°Enna, nice to meet you.¡± ¡°Sasha, likewise. You must be the one who wanted to see the Archives?¡± The lady I was just chatting with, who must be named Celia, cuts in before me to respond. ¡°Yes, yes, she wants more information on the Deities, on their pasts, so she can help others at the Temple. Isn¡¯t that just wonderful, Sasha? I always say, the best people are the ones helping others understand the Deities. She must be making her own so proud!¡± She grins up at me again, and I want to crawl out of my skin. Sasha might notice, or she might just be eager to go, because she grabs my arms, says a last few words to Celia, and leads me to a door reading ¡°Staff Only¡±, pushing through it with her shoulder and starting the descent down a steep set of stairs. ¡°Sorry about that,¡± she says, after we¡¯re about halfway down. ¡°Celia can be a bit¡­ excited. She doesn¡¯t realize how insensitive she may seem to others,¡± her smile is almost uncomfortably apologetic, and I shake it away. ¡°It¡¯s fine. I completely understand,¡± I add, while squeezing the hand over my arm before carefully pulling away and walking next to her on flat ground again through another hallway. Past another entrance, through another door, leads us to an open room filled with countless filing cabinets and shelves packed with folders and papers. A few desks arranged in a rough circle sit in an empty space to the left, surrounded by what I assume are offices for other employees. I don¡¯t see anyone else, however, and Sasha guides me lower down the racks. ¡°So, we have an overwhelming amount on the Deities and their origins over here, is there anything specific you¡¯re looking for that can help us narrow down the content?¡± She gestures widely at the shelving, and she¡¯s right, this place is massive. ¡°Actually, there might be,¡± I pause, contemplating my next words very carefully. ¡°I heard¡­ a myth, if it can even be called that, the other day, and was wondering if there¡¯s any truth to it. All stories do, right?¡± She nods, intrigued. Waves a hand in the go on gesture. I continue. ¡°It was about the Deities, from ages ago. In the story, there was another Deity. A seventh, who ruled over fear ¨C I think. Does it ring any bells, or is it completely made up?¡± I laugh, but Sasha just looks contemplative. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be surprised, honestly. The stories some people make up¡­¡± I trail off as Sasha gains a determined posture and purposefully walks down the stacks, leaving me to do nothing else but follow after a few moments. Her strides are longer than mine, and I have hurry to catch up. She crouches once we¡¯ve reached a new section on the shelving, digging through a box on the bottom row, full of loose papers, until she finds the one she¡¯s hunting for with a triumphant aha! and flourishes it in front of me. ¡°This. I found it a couple months ago, when I was hunting for something else. An interesting story, but for another time. The point is, it was jammed in between two folders from last year¡¯s census ¨C I didn¡¯t know what to do with it, but I wasn¡¯t about to send it back and lose it, so I kept it here,¡± she finishes breathlessly, breathing deep. I take it from her hands after she hands it forward further, and a shocked inhale forces through my throat at the seal: From the Hand of the Deity of Passage. Sasha just catches my eye and nods, a knowing look in her eyes. ¡°Read on.¡± ¡°My fellow Deity, I hope you are well. I¡¯m aware I am fully capable of sending you this message instantly were I to wish it, but I fear it is a message I¡¯ve sent before and know now that it must be joined with irrevocable evidence. ¡°That message is the one I know you¡¯ve heard as well from Vast; The number of her Disciples is rising. They are not as easily hidden as was once the case, and they are suffering for their lack of Connection. I have seen it on the streets, in their homes, the violence towards those missing the Connection is rising drastically. We must appeal to her, you must put aside your pettiness. I implore you, look at the attached papers and comprehend the strife you are aiding to bring on our world. The people we are to protect cry out daily for a help I cannot give. See the numbers, the evidence of this lasting consequence. I plead, with Vast, for you to put aside childness and work with us to bring her back and find a compromise.¡± Your fellow Deity, Passage. - From the Hand of the Deity of Passage - I¡¯m shocked breathless for a moment, at the sheer power I feel holding a paper that may have come from the hand of a Deity themself. ¡°Wow. Is this- Do you really think this is from an actual Deity?¡± Even though I¡¯ve had my very own encounters with them lately, I can¡¯t seem to fathom this paper just slipped the mind of a Deity and ended up here. Sasha nods. ¡°Positive. We¡¯ve had occasional interactions or correspondence with them due to the nature of our work here and connection with the community, and this is definitely their stationary, the writing style seems similar to the other letters we¡¯ve received.¡± She lets out a long breath, eyes sparkling. ¡°I¡¯ve shown it to Celia, of course, but she doesn¡¯t seem to think it¡¯s anything special. And it¡¯s not like I can show it to just anybody,¡± she adds, then fixes me with a suspicious glare. ¡°I really hope I can trust you¡¯re not planning on telling anybody?¡± I shake my head. Even if I wanted to, who would I tell? Who would ever believe me? ¡°No one will hear about it from me,¡± I promise, and she looks relieved. I¡¯m tempted to tell her about the real reason I¡¯m here, investigating, but the secret still feels too close, too risky to share. ¡°Is this all you have?¡± I ask after a pause, contemplating my options. She nods, but it¡¯s hesitant. ¡°That I know of, yes. But we aren¡¯t exactly the most organized here, there could easily be more documents just like this that I have no idea of.¡± I don¡¯t need to look around more to tell she¡¯s telling the truth, a simple glance around proves her point. ¡°I can make sure to tell you if we find anything else, though. I¡¯m sure these mysterious children and their stories will be very intrigued,¡± she adds, and her playful tone makes it obvious she knows there¡¯s more to the story than I¡¯m letting on. I smile at her, genuine, glad for the fact she hasn¡¯t tried to pry it out of me.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. ¡°That would be wonderful, thank you.¡± - - -
Sasha continues to talk about her work and all she¡¯s learned about the Deities on the ascent back up to the ground floor, and I¡¯ll admit, the range of her knowledge is astounding. Every question I ask she either has an answer for, or proclaims an interest in learning more about the subject. It¡¯s a sight to behold, for sure, and by the time I leave I¡¯m somewhat uncomfortably surprised to find I¡¯d be willing to go back not only for more information, but to be once again in the girl¡¯s company. It¡¯s a distantly remembered, unsettling feeling. I¡¯m not entirely sure what to do with it, if I¡¯m being honest. So I don¡¯t. I shove it back into the box of my mind neatly labelled too confusing and move on, the library close enough to my place of work that I can walk there easily and with enough to time to explain myself before my shift starts. Ren spots me the moment I pass over the crest of the ridge and enter the courtyard, her eyes narrowing. She gives me a quick once-over, and once she deems me healthy enough for her liking, lets anger creep into the corners of her expression. ¡°Where,¡± she asks, stepping out from behind the desk and stalking towards me, ¡°The heck were you?¡± A finger is pointed at my chest, and even though she¡¯s a solid three inches shorter than me, it¡¯s intimidating nonetheless. Gently pushing her hand down, I try my best to make my tone calm and placating, but not patronizing. ¡°I had a run-in with another street fight, got a bit tussled around, went home and slept it off. Woke up halfway through what would¡¯ve been my shift but was a bit loopy on pain meds and didn¡¯t realize. I really am sorry, it won¡¯t happen again. I promise,¡± I soothe, trying my hardest to stay soft. It backfires, big time. ¡°That is a completely ridiculous story and we both know it,¡± she spits, eyes flaming. ¡°If you really think I¡¯d let you off on that half thought out lie you¡¯ve got another thing coming. You had an entire day to think out a cover story and that¡¯s what you came up with?¡± She rolls her eyes with her entire body, clearly done with this. ¡°Idiot,¡± she mutters, looking back at me and glaring. It takes all my effort not to wince. Maybe calm and soothing wasn¡¯t the best way to go. ¡°Listen, Ren, I know you¡¯re mad and you have every right to be, and I¡¯ll tell you the story later, but I need you to look at something for me first. It¡¯s really important,¡± I plead, pulling out the candle I found last night on my counter from the messenger bag slung around my shoulder. ¡°This is different from the candles we use in the Temple, right? Ours aren¡¯t as complicated as this, are they?¡± Ren just stares, scoffs, and raises a signature eyebrow. ¡°And that¡¯s what it¡¯ll be, won¡¯t it? A story. Because I know exactly what you were doing yesterday, and where you got that candle, and it honestly shocks me how you possibly have the nerve to show up here again after what you did!¡± What? The confused sentiment must echo on my face, because her expression turns into one of proud knowledge. ¡°We found your flashlight in Dark, Enna. As well as Liam confirming who you were after we described what you looked like ¨C pretty gross, manipulating a kid like that. I had really hoped you were different, you would show that the Connectionless aren¡¯t all dangerous and uptight.¡± She shakes her head at me, disappointment clear in her eyes. ¡°Stealing from the Main Temple, Enna. That¡¯s a new level of low. Missing work, getting into fights, this is just the last straw. One of the High Priests came in earlier, and confirmed it. You¡¯ve been fired..¡± The words barely register in my mind, still caught up on the previous line. ¡°Wait, wait wait wait. Stealing? Is that- What?¡± Any trace of sympathy Ren had ¨C however slim ¨C vanishes. ¡°Yes, Enna. If you want to play dumb, fine. That candle is from the Temples of High Priests, not just for anybody, and we all know you don¡¯t trust the Deities. Why would you be in Dark, other than to try and take from the Tributes? It really makes you wonder why we hired you in the first place.¡± With a final sniff, she ushers me out from the marble atrium. ¡°You can¡¯t be here anymore, and I need to get back to my job. Goodbye, Enna.¡± She swivels and stalks back to her desk, and upon seeing me still standing there, makes a shooing motion with her hands. Not knowing what else to do, I turn and walk back to the street outside the Temple ground. What the heck just happened? As I struggle to sort through the events that just occurred in quick succession, the knot of resentful anxiety grows in my stomach, frustration infused in my bloodstream. I just never get to catch a break, do I? Frustrated, I begin the dreary walk home. The sun pounds down on me, my feet ache, and I¡¯m just done. I knew it would happen eventually, they¡¯d realize there was no reason for me to have such a high-ranking job, but it still aches, the knowledge I now have to begin the humiliating ordeal of finding employment whilst Connectionless all over again. The fates have been against me ever since I was born, and Gods above, I¡¯m so sick of it. I¡¯m at my wits end, nowhere to turn but myself and I fail at that every time anyway. I¡¯m still radiating quiet, burning anger as I unlock my door, the patience it takes to wiggle it around until just right escaping me, and probably damaging the lock further. I can¡¯t even begin to bring myself to care. Until I see who¡¯s standing in my kitchen, shifting uncomfortably in the stale air, fabric artfully draped over a single slender shoulder. The fire flickering in my stomach chills over, frost slowly creeping over my features until I¡¯m a mask of stone and cold fury. ¡°Hello, sweetie,¡± the figure says awkwardly, arms half extended as if expecting an embrace before falling back to her sides. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I question bluntly, eyes narrowing slightly. ¡°What gave you the impression you were welcome in my house?¡± Her smile shifts tightly, seeming meek and unsure. ¡°I was in the area, visiting Temples, and I thought I might like to see you.¡± Her gaze flickers from my face to the door, back again, then to the furniture around us. ¡°I let myself in.¡± ¡°I can see that.¡± Finally seeming to comprehend I don¡¯t plan to soften and let her in willingly, her gaze turns to something equal parts pleading and annoyed. ¡°Please, Enna. It¡¯s been years, I thought it might be nice to see each other. Catch up. It¡¯s been a long time since I left, I was hoping things might change with time,¡± she prompts, and I want nothing more than to shred her into bits right then and there. ¡°And whose fault is that? I¡¯m not the one who left, I¡¯ll remind you.¡± Her face falls, and I would laugh at how ridiculous it is to seem disappointed if it weren¡¯t such a ridiculous situation. Although, maybe that¡¯s the entire reason why it¡¯s comedic in the first place. Then she notices the candle sticking out of the corner of my bag for the first time, and her expression brightens. ¡°Oh, is that a candle for Vast? You finally found you connection, then?¡± I bristle, hackles rising even more as she steps forwards towards me. ¡°I¡¯m so happy for you, dear! You could join me in the ranks, oh, this is wonderful!¡± ¡°It¡¯s not my Deity, mom. As much as you still want the impossible to happen, I¡¯m not going to be the prodigy you wanted, though it¡¯s hard to believe you ever wanted me at all by the way you left,¡± I snarl, the venom in my tone surprising even me. Guess this is the kind of thing that happens when you don¡¯t see your mother for years. She steps backs, shocked, her face a mask of bewilderment and disappointment. ¡°Enna, that¡¯s completely out of line and we both know it. I was called by the Deities to serve!¡± ¡°No, you wanted to pretend dad dying was a sign. You wanted to escape from a house smothered in grief and thought that was the best to do it. Ha!¡± I let out a mean laugh, glaring at her. ¡°How did you even know where I lived?¡± She looks uncomfortable again, seemingly not wanting to reveal her means of intrusion. Still staring at her shifting eyes, something she said previously comes back to me. ¡°Wait. You said you were visiting Temples?¡± She nods. ¡°You asked them, didn¡¯t you. And then you got me fired.¡± To her (small) credit, she has the decency to look at least a bit ashamed. ¡°That wasn¡¯t my choice, Enna. I was told to visit the Temples in the area and make sure all employees were Disciples.¡± My blood turns to ice in my veins. ¡°What?¡± My mother just smiles awkwardly. ¡°The Deities are unhappy with the amount of people taking roles involving Connections who have none. The High Priests are travelling all over Hirslown in order to make sure the Deities can be pleased with the people doing their work, and I¡¯m part of that,¡± she preens, having the gall to look pleased. ¡°How is that possibly a good thing, mom? Do you know how many people will be hurt because of that? And just how many jobs ¡°require¡± Connection in your eyes?¡± She frowns at me, disapproval twisting her lips downward. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you, Enna. I came here to try and help you, and this is the thanks I get? I¡¯ve heard the Deities themself talking about you, and they¡¯re not happy. They say you¡¯re digging into places no one should even know about.¡± She pauses for a moment, recollecting herself. ¡°However, I may be able to help with that,¡± she takes a step closer, and no part of me likes the expression I see on her face. ¡°If you tell me which Deity has been helping you, I can get your job back for you. I could pull some strings, maybe even erase the fact that you¡¯re Connectionless from the record.¡± She smiles, sugar sweet. It¡¯s sickening. I recoil back from her, disgust clearly evident on my face. ¡°This is what you resorted to, huh? This is your grand destiny the Deities destroyed my life for, bribing people and doing their dirty work? Disgusting. What right to the Deities have to talk about me at all? They¡¯ve destroyed my life, my friendships, my happiness. I don¡¯t care what they think, what you think. I¡¯m done.¡± My mom gasps at me, a single manicured hand raised up to a shocked expression. Shifting her robe back, she looks down at me with disgust. ¡°Well, I never. You are no child of mine, Enna. I had really hoped you¡¯d changed from your foolish ways by now,¡± she looks around again, this time with disdain instead of tentativeness. ¡°Look how far you¡¯ve fallen.¡± I shake my head, pity flooding into my words. ¡°No, mom. Look around you, I think you¡¯re the one in the depths.¡± Her look turns stormy, and it doesn¡¯t take much longer for her to go huffing out in a flurry of angry mutters and disdainful looks. That went well, my thoughts interrupting the silence after the wood door slams shut. What a great job you did of bridging the gap. Peacekeeper of the year right here. I¡¯m more than ready to take a shower and try in vain to clear my thoughts, before I hear the door creak open and a head of blond hair peek in, looking nervously through the crack. My lock is broken, I notice, which is just perfect for someone newly unemployed. ¡°Enna?¡± Asher asks hesitantly, pushing the door open further. I groan, because of course he¡¯d be here for some reason. Turning to face him, I grit my teeth. My energy is depleted, I¡¯m exhausted, all I want to do it sleep. ¡°What, Asher? What are you even doing here again?¡± My tone is sharper than I intended it to be, cutting through the room straight to his caring face. ¡°I¡¯m tired, and angry, and can¡¯t deal with this today.¡± He looks hurt, but hesitates to leave, instead remaining there hovering in the doorframe. ¡°I saw your mom as I was coming in, are you okay? I know the way things went was a bit¡­¡± ¡°Euh,¡± I finish for him, and I¡¯m surprised to find being in his presence is calming me the way it always used to. He must feel it too, because he steps forward further into the room and gently shuts the door behind him. His smile is small, and I can easily see through it to what it actually is: concern. I sigh, deeply, leaning heavily against the wall, slumping. ¡°I¡¯m- fine, I think. She didn¡¯t tell me anything I didn¡¯t suspect before, but it still feels strange. And I got fired.¡± His jaw drops, almost comedically, and the confusion on his face would¡¯ve made me laugh under any other circumstance. ¡°What- Why??¡± Running a hand down my face, I find it doesn¡¯t bother me quite as much as it did a few moment ago. ¡°As much as I hate it, I¡¯m still a Connectionless, Asher. But the stupid thing about that is if the Deities hadn¡¯t messed up, I wouldn¡¯t be! But because they did, they realized it was kind of stupid for me to be working at a Temple.¡± I shrug. I can see the sense in it, honestly. ¡°It mostly just annoys me because now I have to go hunting for a new job. Apparently they thought I was stealing, they saw the Vast candle I got, found my flashlight¡­ it makes sense.¡± ¡°Woah woah woah,¡± he puts up a hand. ¡°Candle? Flashlight? Deital mistakes? You¡¯re moving too fast for me, En¡¯s.¡± He moves backwards into the sitting space, dropping onto a couch. ¡°Sit, and explain.¡± I can¡¯t even stop myself. I sit opposite him, and start from the beginning. Chapter 7 ¡°I¡¯m not sure where to start,¡± I admit, settling deeper into the soft cushions. A cup of tea is warm in my hands, and Asher sips gently from his. After sitting down, in true Asher fashion, he sprung right back up with the news he had drinks from my favourite cafe. After admitting I hadn¡¯t been there in ages, he was even more adamant I take it. I can¡¯t lie and say I¡¯m not grateful for it. ¡°Start at the beginning,¡± he prods, knowing it¡¯ll bug me. I¡¯ve always hated that phrase. ¡°You¡¯re a genius,¡± I deadpan, and he cracks his grin. For a Disciple of Passage, he has an affinity for shining Light in places I¡¯ll never understand. Then, sobering again, I move my finger around the rim of the paper cup. ¡°I guess the only place to start is when I got my job at the Temple ¨C Yes, I know, that¡¯s a while since I left the group. I¡¯ll explain that later.¡± My avoidance is transparent, but thankfully, Asher knows better than to push. ¡°I used the money mom didn¡¯t take to get this apartment, and in all honesty, I¡¯m not sure how I got that position. I didn¡¯t¡­ lie, per say, but I didn¡¯t exactly tell the truth, either. By the time people put it together I¡¯d been working there for months and no one really cared enough to fire me. I did fine work, rarely got into fights at that point, and stayed out of the way. Everything was fine. ¡°Then those stupid riots started breaking out, and everything got so tense. I don¡¯t know how bad you¡¯ve seen, but nearly every day when I get ¨C got - off work, I would see some kind of fight. It may be two people, it may be twelve, and no matter who started it, the Connectionless always got the worst of it. It got to me in a way nothing else had for a while. I couldn¡¯t help it, I kept intervening. Everything in me would say to get away, to run, but I still can¡¯t seem to stop it. I butt in, I intervene, usually make the situation worse. Ren is used to me coming into work late because of it, but the other night ¨C that¡¯s the only time it¡¯s been so bad I had to run back to the Temple instead of home. ¡°Ren gave me a candle and told me to pray to Love, to knock some sense into me. But what I saw in there¡­¡± I pause to take a deep breath, the memories lining themselves up inside my head. I sip from my tea. Asher waits patiently, even though he¡¯s probably still trying to process everything. ¡°I think I saw a Deity in there, Ash. I was praying, I had my eyes closed, but as I turned to leave he was just¡­ there. Just standing there. He told me- He told me to look under the ground in Dark, ¡°The curtains in the group chambers.¡± And I did. The next day, I went into the Temple early, snuck in, and found a secret passage. It lead deep, deep underground. There was this weird, spiralling tunnel, and it ended in an¡­ underground oasis, kind of? It was small, but there was moss and vines and rock. And a river. As well as an artificial light coming from beyond the river.¡± I pause for a moment, knowing what I say next will sound stupid.Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings. ¡°I threw a rock at the tunnel, and something shattered and the light went away. I reached back behind me for my bag, and I caught off balance, and fell into the river. ¡°It was so. Cold. I don¡¯t- I don¡¯t want to think it was a Deity thing, but somehow I got out and onto land. I was outside, aboveground, and I was alive, somehow. Battered and bruised, but alive. There was a cave, with a chest inside. Inside that chest- there were papers, detailing¡­¡± I stop again, scared to say the truth. What if he doesn¡¯t believe me? What if he gets angry? Tells someone about this? What if, what if, what if- Asher has always been able to tell when my mind wanders, and he sets a gentle hand on my wrist, nodding me on. His eyes are sincere. ¡°I found papers, detailing a 7th Deity. Census¡¯s about it, records, until they just- stopped. They completely disappeared from mention. I didn¡¯t take any back, didn¡¯t dare, but it got me thinking. And when I got home, I found this on my counter.¡± I pull walk to the kitchen and grab the candle from my bag. ¡°It¡¯s a Vast candle, I¡¯m sure of it. So this morning-¡± It was only this morning? ¡°I went to the main library, the Archives, went hunting for more information. Phrased it like I was looking up a myth or a tall tale I¡¯d heard of. The assistant helping me ¨C Sasha, I think her name was. Nice girl ¨C showed me-¡± I break off, remembering the promise I gave her. No one will hear about it from me. Biting my tongue, I contemplate my actions. But how could I not tell Asher? ¡°She showed me a letter they found, from one Deity to the other. It made it sound like- Like Connectionless were Disciples of this missing Deity. As if we were only outcasts because this 7th Entity ¨C Fear, because Fear was gone and forgotten.¡± I give Asher a moment to digest the information, the not-so-miniature bombshell I just dumped on him without warning. It takes him a few moment, and I can almost hear his brain turning. ¡°Enna, that¡¯s¡­ wow,¡± he says finally, breathing it out like a swear. Then frowns. ¡°And we know those documents were real?¡± I won¡¯t lie, the suspicion in his tone comes as a bit of a blow. He must see the way my face changes, and hurries to correct himself. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean- I believe you, Enna. If you say you believe this, of all people, I¡¯ll believe you. But I just want to make sure we¡¯ve thought all this through before going back to Sasha.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± He frowns. ¡°You¡¯re going to tell her about this, right? With her knowledge, she could probably help. You weren¡¯t possibly planning to know this and just sit with it, were you?¡± The way he says it makes it clear he knows that¡¯s exactly what I was planning to do. He shakes his head fondly. ¡°Enna. This is huge. We know something Deities themself have tried to hide. Something that might help dozens of people. We can¡¯t possibly keep this quiet.¡± ¡°I know, I know,¡± I consent, seeing his point. ¡°But we can¡¯t just shout this to the rooftops, now can we? We need to be careful how we go about this. We need more information.¡± He nods, sitting back. A smug grins spreads over his face slowly. ¡°I can¡¯t help but notice you were also using the term we in those sentences? I take it that means you¡¯ve finally decided to let me help?¡± I laugh at him, and his self-satisfied little grin, and I feel more okay than I have in months. ¡°Yes, I will let you help. And¡­ I¡¯m sorry I kept you away for so long. It wasn¡¯t fair of me, and I apologize,¡± I add, sobering the moment. Asher¡¯s smile fades, yet his eyes still twinkle. ¡°It¡¯s alright, Enna. I may not completely understand, but as long as I get a proper explanation later, it¡¯s okay. All is forgiven, lame as your reasoning will probably be,¡± he jokes. ¡°Deal,¡± sticking out a hand, and he shakes it firmly. And for just a while, I feel like I used to. I let myself indulge in the feeling, no matter how quickly it will likely crumble. These things never last. Yeah. I know. Chapter 8
As much as we¡¯d both to stay there on my couch talking and catching up for years spent apart, I need to sleep and Asher needs to get home. With a promise to be back the next morning, and my own solemn swear to wait for him, we part ways. I jam the door closed with a chair as my mediocre solution to a problem I don¡¯t have the energy to deal with, and collapse on my bed. The events of the day feel squished together and far too spread out to be a simple 14 hours, my mind still not yet synced up with the rest of my body. Even as my bruises ache, feet ache, entire body aches, my head keeps moving. Seeing Asher has unlocked memories in my brain I shoved into a box two years ago and never looked back on, keeping the key with his voice, his grin, the things I didn¡¯t allow myself the gift of ever seeing again. For someone who used to be like a brother to me, who I practically grew up with, it¡¯s been far too many years. The fractures in my family lead to far more than damaged photos, lead to cracked friendships, chasms between me and the people I used to call my blood. That, and the fact the blood running through my veins belonged to someone with DNA unconnected to any of the Deities that our society revolves around. Giving up on sleep, I wander around the cold floors even as my body protests. I let myself think of Loren for the first time since I saw her at the Temple merely days ago, and before that, nothing more than a passing thought I shoved away before it could take over my mind. I remember when we were closer than I was with Asher, how my mother loved her. But the prejudices and traditions of her family ran deep, even as mine didn¡¯t yet, and as it became increasingly apparent I wasn¡¯t developing the same connections my peers were, no matter how many extra classes I took, how much I prayed, how many special courses I picked up to try and find an Attribute that could point me in the right direction, she found herself pushing further and further away from me. I don¡¯t know when Talin entered the picture, but suddenly he was there. Filling the space I used to fill In the corner of every portrait, every school yearbook photo, promposals, events I never went to. Events I skipped to try and desperately become normal. I always knew. But I wouldn¡¯t accept it. And then, somehow, I looked up and realized I had pushed myself away from everything, all the people I had ever known. My home shattered, and I landed on a separate shard of falling glass than any of the other people I knew. But now one of them has wandered along and reunited our broken pieces of glass, somehow, and as scared as I am that it will just crack again and injure us both, I have to admit, having another piece is aiding in me seeing clearer. Tomorrow, I will make a plan with Asher. Tomorrow, we will figure out what to do. Maybe that will involve the explanation I promised: Maybe that will come weeks or months down the line. But for tonight, finally, I will rest. - - -
I¡¯d be lying if I said the thought of leaving before Asher shows up doesn¡¯t cross my mind at least once, and a couple times I get so far as to be toeing on shoes. But in the end, I¡¯m pacing the hallway floor as I hear Asher knock gently on the entrance. The chair being previously pushed away during my anxious considerations of ditching, it opens easily. He frowns at it. ¡°You should really get that fixed, y¡¯know,¡± he nudges, and with anyone else I might go off on how I can¡¯t, because I don¡¯t even have a job, but the light in his eyes keeps me from snapping at him about it. How¡¯s he¡¯s always been able to do that, I will never, ever know. So instead I just smile at him and take the cups from his hand. Then frown when I see the label. ¡°Asher, please tell me you didn¡¯t wake up, go across town for drinks, then come back all this morning,¡± I scold. He looks sheepish, ducking under the arm I have leaning against the wall into the kitchen. I roll my eyes fondly. ¡°Not again, alright?¡± He nods, and I secretly savour the taste of my tea order he somehow remembered. As we both linger around the table, the thought that¡¯s been pinging around in my head for hours finally solidifies. ¡°Hey, Asher?¡± His eyes move up to mine. ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°Why were you at my house yesterday?¡± His muscles relax a bit more as he sits down on one of my chairs, the dowels creaking softly as he settles. ¡°After¡­ after the other night, when I drove you home. I remembered where you lived, I just couldn¡¯t forget. And I know, I know, that¡¯s a stalker move, but after everything fell apart last year, after you left, I went to your house so many times. You never seemed to show up again. Heck, before I saw you three days ago, I didn¡¯t even know if you still lived in Kannora. I didn¡¯t want to lose you again, no matter how much you pushed against it. So I was coming to visit, wasn¡¯t even planning to enter the building at first but then I saw that woman rushing out, I knew I had to see you. And, well, I¡¯m glad I did.¡±Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. If Asher sees the blatant appreciation on my face at the lack of implied connection between me and the woman I call my mother, he doesn¡¯t react to it. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ actually really sweet of you. And makes me seem so much worse,¡± I laugh, sitting down across from him. Chin resting on my hands, elbows on the table, his position mirrors mine and he eyes the sheets of paper I have spread out over it. ¡°What¡¯re these?¡± He asks, pulling one forward. I sigh. ¡°I was trying to write out everything I have. All the information I¡¯ve gathered and the lines I remember from the chest of papers. It¡¯s not much, though,¡± I clarify, when I see him pull more towards him. Even so, his eyes scan the messy handwriting I have scrawled over the paper. ¡°Still, it¡¯s good to keep all this documented,¡± he looks up at me. ¡°I was thinking maybe we would go back to the Archives today? Talk to that girl you told me about ¨C Sasha. She might have more information, or we could help her look.¡± I hesitate before responding. ¡°It¡¯s not- It¡¯s not a bad idea, but, well, I also promised her no one else would know about the letter she showed me. And now you know.¡± He doesn¡¯t even hesitate, responding as if he¡¯d somehow thought this all through already ¨C for all I know, maybe he has. ¡°That¡¯s a valid point, but I still think we should. If we explain everything to her, I¡¯m sure she¡¯d get it, and if all else fails at least we tried. We can¡¯t just sit on this information, Enna,¡± he replies, and there¡¯s something in his tone I¡¯m not quite sure how to interpret. Confusion? ¡°Yeah, yeah, of course,¡± I assure him, standing once again. ¡°You wanna go now?¡± He nods, and we collect our bags before I set up my makeshift chair contraption again. He raises and eyebrow at me, and I smack him on the shoulder. Our laughter echoes in the empty stairwells as we descend, and our continued banter makes short work of the usually tedious walk to the library. The same lady, Celia, is behind the desk when I enter. I wave cordially, and her grin lights up. ¡°Here for the Archives again, love? I¡¯ll call Sasha right down for you!¡± As the shifts to intercom Sasha in, I move back so I¡¯m standing next to Asher. ¡°If you remember where you went last time, you can head right down,¡± She informs us, after making sure Sasha knows we¡¯re coming. Nodding in thanks, I head down in the direction I remember from last time. Pushing through the door, I look at the split in the corridors and try my best to remember. ¡°This has always been your area or expertise,¡± I mutter to Asher after making the wrong turn twice and backtracking. He just laughs and moves behind me so we can descend the stairs safely. ¡°Guess that¡¯s why I shouldn¡¯t be surprised you ended up in Passage.¡± I can feel the shrug from behind me, I don¡¯t even have to look back to know he¡¯s grinning in that teasing way he always does. It¡¯s a straight hallway from the stairs to the Archives, and for that I¡¯m grateful. ¡°Sasha?¡± I call out, poking a head through the doorway. ¡°You in here?¡± She emerges from the stacks, waving me over. ¡°I¡¯ll admit, I was hoping you¡¯d come back, but I didn¡¯t expect it to be this soon. What brings you back so early?¡± He gaze shifts to Asher, and she looks him over skeptically. ¡°With someone else, no less. Did you¡­?¡± I wince. I¡¯d been hoping to avoid that question just a little longer. ¡°Yeah. I know I shouldn¡¯t have, but I¡¯ve known Asher my entire life. He can help us.¡± I don¡¯t mention the fact that there was a 16-month gap where I didn¡¯t see him once. She looks a bit annoyed, and continues looking strangely at Asher, but seems to drop the subject. With a huff, she drops the papers in her arms heavily on a desk. ¡°If you¡¯d given me more time, I¡¯d probably have more for you, but as for now this is all I¡¯ve managed to collect.¡± She hands me one paper in particular with a focused look. ¡°This is the one that I found most curious. Thoughts?¡± Taking it from her, I shift slightly so Asher can read over my shoulder. If it bugs Sasha, she doesn¡¯t show it, simply hunting through the pile while I read. ¡°A doctors report?¡± I question, after scanning the title of the sheet. She just nods, and keeps sorting. I read on. {Insert date here} Eleanor Nickols. Female. 28. Fear. Case Details: Sudden, extreme phobia of mirrors. A rare Disciple of Fear, last month she developed a crippling phobia of mirrors. Before that point, people recall being slightly off-put being near mirrors when in the vicinity. This is my eighth case of this nature, all of which have occured in the past month. Curious. Further research is in order. The note is short and to the point, and I hand it to Asher to examine further while I join Sasha at the table. ¡°Where did you find this?¡± She lifts up a cardboard box from underneath the desk, and inside is an entire stack of similar looking documents. ¡°They were sitting next to a bunch of Vast documents. I wouldn¡¯t of ever thought to look through that section, but something kept nagging at me, about how that letter mentioned Vast, and I figured it was worth a shot. I¡¯d already looked through Passage, and found nothing. Low and behold, I found these.¡± Her logic impresses me, and I tell her as much. ¡°I would have never thought of that. You¡¯re a genius, Sasha.¡± She beams, before turning attention back to the task at hand. ¡°Regardless, this must be significant, right? I mean, it directly references the Fear Deity. Gives us a timeline to work with, too.¡± ¡°And a curiosity,¡± Asher adds, joining our circle clustered around the table. ¡°It says ¡°a rare case.¡± Which also explains why the Deities ¨C since it seems likely that¡¯s who these documents are from ¨C are so concerned with the growing number of Connectionless. There never used to be that many.¡± Sasha looks at Asher in pleasant surprise, nodding along with the statements made. ¡°You make a good point¡­?¡± ¡°Asher,¡± he supplies, and she gives him a curt nod before leaning back down. ¡°It still doesn¡¯t make much sense, though,¡± I muse, rereading the original letter. ¡°I mean, yeah, they¡¯re concerned for the wellbeing of their people. But this kind of urgency¡­ does it really make sense?¡± ¡°They might just be compassionate, Enna,¡± Asher says, frowning. ¡°I¡¯ll admit, it¡¯s a bit strange, but it also seems like this has been going on for a while. They might just be bugged about the resistance.¡± ¡°But then why push back on us?¡± I ask, the thought still forming and stacking up inside my head. ¡°One of the main reasons I got fired yesterday was because they¡¯re trying to oust Connectionless from higher-ranking positions, ones that they claim ¡°require a Connection¡±, even if we¡¯ve been working there for ages. It doesn¡¯t makes sense.¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s clear the Deities are divided,¡± Sasha ponders aloud, moving her hands about as the thinks. ¡°Based on the letters, and the Deity that came to you, we know Passage and Vast are against Dark, at the very least. Dark ¨C and possibly others, if there¡¯s multiple people on their side, which seems likely, ¨C may be the one implementing these changes, and the ones pushing back are trying to avoid that?¡± ¡°Guys?¡± Me and Sasha shift our gazes to Asher, who is staring intently as a document. ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°Is this what I think it is?¡± He hands us the paper, and I don¡¯t really understand why he seems so distraught about it. It¡¯s another list of names, like the many we¡¯ve already seen, another census, only this time it¡¯s from this year. Only a couple months ago, if I¡¯m remembering correctly. ¡°What¡¯s so special with-¡± And then I see it. At the very bottom, printed with elegant cursive in dark ink. Fear ReLocation Date