In the end, it took them two further days to reach the allegedly picturesque city of Sumpfigerort. The weather got gradually worse, with stronger winds, heavier rain, and lower temperatures – Prof dreaded the future when it wasn''t just the beginning of autumn, but the deepest winter. According to his map, they were still deep inland, the southern coast was about five hundred kilometers further to the South (as the Dragon flew, and if Prof estimated the scale correctly). If Prof was right, the coastal region corresponded to the latitudes of Europe''s Mediterranean Coast back on Earth – or probably Florida on the other side of the Pond.


    Everyone knew winter wasn''t invented in those places, with nice weather all year, but good wines, pizza, and blooming orange trees. The ideal place to spend the winter. An untold number of retirees couldn''t be wrong, after all!


    The party needed to reach to promised land of no winter, and they had only two months at most to accomplish it – if they stayed a month or so in Sumpfigerort to earn some traveling money, they would barely make it. Assuming, nothing serious happened on the road.


    As they looked down from a low hill, they were greeted with their first view of the pretty Greenskin city where they hoped to restock, resupply, and get re-riched. Well, pretty, beautiful, and picturesque wouldn''t be words Prof would use for the city, at least after the first glance. It was built in a swampy place or on a drying-out lake, sporting the butt-ugly Greenskin architecture, he already was sick of. You could look at concrete bunkers just so long before they were getting boring – for Prof that timeframe was around one day. Here, he got more of the same, the only difference was that Sumpfigerort had mostly canals instead of roads.


    Luckily, there were sidewalks next to the canals, so cheap – or poor – pedestrians could get from A to B without paying for a boat.


    Or swim.


    Since the water wasn''t… crystal clear… swimming probably wasn''t an option, to begin with.


    Finding the Adventurer’s Guild – strangely, it was called a Guild and not a not-Guild – wasn''t exactly hard. The city wasn''t that large, probably thirty to forty thousand inhabitants, and the other pedestrians were helpful in pointing out, where they needed to go. Greenskins were excellent that way – they didn''t even give intentionally wrong directions to get the idiotic tourists lost.


    Mythrillhead left them halfway to go to the Musicians not-Guild, to secure a gig or two. It was agreed to meet up in front of the Adventurer''s Guild or leave directions there if they missed each other. Someone needed to invent cell phones or the internet, backing down from an appointment was much easier with modern technology, after all.


    Before the party entered the Guild – a normal bunker with the usual redundant decorations – Mini stopped them.


    “You can’t enter the Adventurer’s Guild looking like this. It is embarrassing.”


    “What do you mean?” Prof looked at his gear. Slightly dirty and wet, but almost new suba, enchanted armor, good boots, and awesome axes. He didn’t see anything embarrassing or wrong. The same with Bianca. “We do look like well-outfitted adventurers or mercenaries.”


    “No real Adventurer would be caught in public looking like that. How would the public know, they are adventurers and not some common thugs? Not even talking about entering the Guild!”


    “Ehm, wearing high-grade stuff doesn''t give it away, that we are – or want to be – real adventurers? Fix a medal to our cape, and everyone would know our rank in the Guild at first glance. Oh, no…"


    Prof finally connected the dots. Mini was an adventurer – master level, even! – and she was always wearing those impractical clothes. Prof haven’t seen anyone else (although the Elves in the Valley had some) with comparable clothes, but Deadbranch had a shop exactly for them. Could it be? No, that was impossible! Improbable. Unlikely.


    “Please, don’t tell me, you aren’t wearing clothes befitting a real adventurer just now.”


    “Sure I do. Why else would I wear them? All right, even if I wasn''t an adventurer, I would wear them, because they accent by natural beauty and awesomeness. But you got it. Adventurers have to wear such clothes because else no one would perceive them as adventurers."


    “They are impractical!”


    “And revealing!” Bianca added


    “Too many clothessss. Bad in fight!"


    “They are high class! And they are awesome! Some are even better than Prof’s armor!”


    “Better in what? Revealing more skin?” Bianca snorted.


    “No, they have a higher armor rating!"


    “What use is higher armor rating, when the armor only covers a few handspans?”


    “Don’t argue! Do you want honest work? It is this, or going to a brothel. Or waylay some bandits, but by joining the Guild, you would be paid to rob bandits!”


    You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.


    “Taking care of banditry, isn''t that the job of the Guards or the Army?" Well, there were bounty hunters on Earth too. The guards probably had very important coffee breaks, so handing out paid voluntary work to civilians was probably done everywhere.


    “Sure it is. But if you are a guild member, the Guards pay you a higher bounty. And you sometimes get unique assignments."


    “I bet, you collected a lot of bounties at home if you know so much about how it is done."


    “Ehmmmm… Well… Not exactly. We don''t have many bandits at home. They tend to be eaten by animals or plants or are killed by our peasants. Sometimes, when they are in dire need of a skeleton slave, they even dispatched normal travelers too. I remember this one time, when…"


    “All right, so, clothes. We don''t have ''Adventurer Garb'' and we don''t have money to buy some. No, I won''t invest gems to get clothes. What other options do we have?"


    “Well, Bianca still has her Chainmail Bikini, that is valid adventurer clothing…”


    “No! I decline to be seen in chainmail underwear!”


    “… and you have the leather shorts. Hmmm… If you wear those, plus the dancing shoes and your bearskin, that would be acceptable. Oh, and definitely the insomnia cap."


    “I would look ridiculous.”


    “No, you would look like a ''Barbarian Archetype''. Good that you haven''t shaved in the last few days. Although a bushy bear would be better, we can work with the stubble. If you had more chest hair, that would be fantastic!"


    “What about my expensive and very practical armor?”


    “Right, you can wear your stuff in battle, but you have to look like an adventurer every other time. So, Bianca…”


    “No, I won’t wear such revealing clothes! They are indecent!”


    “Hmmm… I don''t think, I have anything knee-length…"


    “Ankle-length!”


    “That I definitely don’t have. Oh, wait! I do have one that would be perfect for you!”


    Mini turned and started to rummage through her bags of holding. How many clothes did she have?!? Obviously, she didn''t even remember every last of them! Just as Prof was about to say something extremely sexist about women and their endless collection of never-worn clothes, Mini spun around again and held out a black dress. It indeed looked like it reached the ankles, and even came with a scarf, head covering, and a veil. Everything in a deep black color. It almost looked like a habit, but that would be impossible to rationalize. If there were no gods on Arkadia, having nun orders would be unnecessary, no?


    On the other hand, someone brought Chainmail Bikinis to Arkadia, so why not habits?


    “This is the traditional garb for the ‘Battle Sister Archetype’. Don’t ask me, why I have it.”


    “It… it… it… covers so much! Thank you, Miss Minerva! This will be my favorite dress EVER!!!"


    Well, even if nun orders were unnecessary without gods, the concept of dressing up and behaving like nuns was still needed. Probably there were other kinds of nun costumes too. The short and leathery kind, but who knew?


    “What about Sharpclaw?”


    “She is a Kobold, they normally don’t wear clothes. She will be fine.”


    After they changed into their “Adventurer Clothes” – luckily there was a tavern not far from the Guild, and the owner allowed them to use the restrooms – Mini gave them final directions.


    “As of now, you are considered novice adventurers! If anyone asks you, your master is the Fabulous and Magnificent Minerva Pannonnii. What you need to know about being an adventurer? Let’s see. At first, you won’t be allowed to do stuff without supervision, but this is why I’m here, after all. The Guilds usually have craftsmen and shopkeepers on payroll, so you can sell your loot and buy new stuff within the Guild. They allegedly have better prices than those from the outside. Anyway, you should respect your betters, especially your dear and magnanimous master, but if someone of your own standing gives you lip, you are allowed and required to kick their teeth out. Never kill or maim a fellow adventurer. What else? Naw, this is mostly it. Let’s go!”


    Prof was almost certain, there was more to being an adventurer than Mini told them, but he didn''t plan on taking the adventurer business seriously. They needed to be adventurers to be allowed into local dungeons, so they could make enough money, but above that, he was content to leave the whole Guild behind.


    Entering the building, he was greeted by what he expected from his practically endless experiences with Adventurer''s Guilds but also by the diametral opposite. The usual rowdy crowd was quietly drinking in a filthily clean hall, listening to a lecture on [Zoology] or [Monsterology] - which one, Prof wasn''t exactly sure. The crowd of around ten consisted mostly of Greenskins, but Prof spied a Human too. Of course, everyone was clad in typical adventurer costumes: frilly dresses, laces, short skirts, long stockings, overblown hats on the one end of the spectrum, underwear, straps, and bare chests on the other.


    Why Arkadians believed, such impractical clothing was a must for true adventurers, Prof couldn’t fathom. Sooner or later the adventurers would realize, their life expectancy had an inverse relation to the amount of textiles and metals they put on, no?


    Obviously not.


    Mini walked purposefully to a counter, set on one side of the hall. The customer service representative manning (she was actually a female Hob, so manning probably wasn''t the correct designation, but "femalehobing" isn''t a word) surprisingly wasn''t wearing adventurer costumes, nor some Victorian uniform, perverted into showing more skin than not. Instead, she had absolutely normal, everyday clothes – a yellow dress with green flowers and a blue vest. The only strange piece was a purple beret with a silver medal affixed to it.


    “It is I, the Fabulous and Magnificent Minerva Pannonnii, a Wandering Master!” Mini introduced herself, then pointed to the rest of the party “I brought my apprentices to this illustrious Guild to register them as future indomitable and courageous adventurers!”


    “It is I, the Industrious Heidi Bergbewohner, a journeyman adventurer and current clerk for the Sumpfigerort Adventurer’s Guild!” the clerk answered. “Please fill out these formidable forms, venerable wandering master!”


    Was this for real? Did Prof need not only to wear ridiculous clothes but learn to speak the language, culture, and etiquette of a strange subculture too?


    Why was he putting up with this nonsense?


    Oh yeah, because he was broke, was young, and needed the money.