“No need to abuse my doors, you violent cretins. I’m right here!” The main villain of the arc just approached them, right in the middle of the Betterment Center’s training field.


    “You just destroyed the efforts of hundreds of years! Are you happy now?”


    “Not-Guildmaster, I haven’t destroyed anything, instead I brought back forgotten music!” Wolfgang proudly declared.


    “Exactly! Do you know, how hard it was to make your music be forgotten? We had to invent Clay! Plus Boonies and Borderlands! Not many like that, but anyway. After generations, even Granite started to fade! No good Granite song for almost a generation, most of the young ones going to Clay! Then you pesky kids come along, and destroy everything!"


    “You suppressed Granite and Mythrill?!? How dare you?!?”


    “It was for the common good! Breeding the violence out of Greenskins! Getting more excellent! Enable even more people to get excellent!”


    “Greenskins aren’t more violent, than other species! Why do you want us to get softer?”


    “Hah! Greenskins aren’t violent anymore! Look, at what you have done! ONE concert and there was a riot! Someone even set fire to a bar!"


    “Hey, I can explain that! It wasn’t exactly my fault!” Mini decided to interrupt the villain’s monologue. If she delayed more, no one would be able to figure out his motivations! How could an arc end without some big revelations?


    “See? You even brought foreign agents to Ostwaldland! Insane foreign operatives!”


    “HEY! I''m not a foreign agent! Just your average run-of-the-mill Vampire heir!"


    “This is what I’m talking about! You couldn’t even bring violence back to Greenskins on your own! You had to drag a Vampire noble, a Kobold assassin, and two bloodthirsty Pinkskins into this! Despicable!”


    Prof wondered, who else Wolfgang may have found. That party sounded like bad news! How could it be possible, that two completely different groups had the exact same composition, but while one was peaceful, the other was, obviously, some kind of highly trained infiltrator-terrorist group?


    Of course, they couldn’t be the same, Prof’s party had only a Bloodthirsty Vampire, a semi-professional backstabber Kobold, and a professional mercenary.


    Oh, wait.


    “Honoured not-Guildmaster, may I draw attention to the fact, that we were innocent bystanders, and we have no designs on Ostwaldland’s further development? In fact, we just acquired a wagon, and were planning to leave your beautiful and picturesque country behind.”


    “Bah! If you were just bystanders, why did you get involved at all?”


    “Ehmmm… Our friend informed us, that he is prevented and hindered from playing music. From what I know of Greenskinian law and customs, preventing and hindering is a serious crime. Not allowing someone to get excellent, and being not-excellent to each other is a bad thing. No? We were assisting our friend to become excellent – in contrast to some other people, who, for the sake of the example, hired foreigner thugs to hinder, rob, and kidnap said friend."


    “Don''t try to change topics, Pinkskin!" the not-Guildmaster shouted "This is about Klavierspieler bringing back obsolete, un-greenskin, and degrading ideology to our enlightened culture! Violence! How abhorrent! I should have sent him to the mines as soon as he presented that disgusting book!"


    So, it was all about some ideological crusade. Discussing ideology with an obviously compromised person was never a fruitful endeavor, so Prof had only one choice left.


    “I have a lawyer, and I''m not afraid to use him!" Prof declared while pushing Wilhelm to the front. Back on Earth, peace was held up by the threat of mutually assured nuclear destruction – sending armies of lawyers to the other great powers would have (maybe) ended the Cold War sooner. Nothing could make investments and the administration grind to a halt faster than a horde of lawbenders flooding the courts with lawsuits! Seeing, how the other side wasn''t afraid to employ even the most heinous weapons would have made everyone capitulate within minutes.


    Or launch missiles.


    Going by the face, the not-Guildmaster made, Prof obviously crossed a line. He just hoped this wasn''t grounds to launch a pre-emptive first strike – [Magic: Radiation] was a thing, after all. The not-Guildmaster did nothing like that. He turned white.


    Well, a lighter shade of green, anyway.


    “This isn’t over yet!” he yelled, turned, and ran away. It took only a few seconds, and he was already inside the building.


    “Damn. That little slime is fast!” Mini was disappointed, she wasn’t able to bring her double-shot crossbow up in time.


    “What wassss talk? Not undersssstand. Pleasssse talk in other language!" Sharpclaw sauntered over. "Ssssstart sssstabbing?"


    “Yeah, exactly that." Prof frowned "I have it up to here with all this crap! Why am I always dragged into such a situation? I was prepared to just mind my own business, maybe visit that charming castle, that lovely waterfall, and that famous battlefield. But noooooo! Another world-changing situation! Is someone getting off of this?!?”


    “You should maybe choose your friends more carefully.” Mini supplied “Not everyone is so straight and without ulterior motives as me!”


    Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.


    “You don’t want to drag me into your issues with your place on the line of succession or something?”


    “Of course not! Not yet, anyway. The Duke would eat you for breakfast right now. Literally. When we reach Level 25, I do plan to bring you back as my concubine, though!”


    “No, thank you."


    “But we have sooo many interesting sights to see! Me, a lot of ruins, diverse architecture, me, a few estates away a haunted forest, beautiful crypts, me, and a lot more!”


    “Do you think me so shallow?”


    “Of course not. Now, stop whining. Let’s kill a pompous Goblin! You can even kick the door in!”


    “Oh, do you mean, our friend can display his awesome skill in kick-a-door-in? His last performance was, I have to admit, excellent.” now Wolfgang was just an ass. It was one thing to be a Wiseass, but his comment had a deficiency in wise and reinforced the second part of his Perk.


    Granted, Prof’s defeat by a rickety door could be constructed as an excellent showing. If one was into that kind of humor. Anyway, that evil door already met its maker. Or any other craftsman, who specialized in making doors – leaving an entrance to well-maintained sewers without doors was probably not excellent. Who knows, what kind of shady vagrants would move in? Without regulated entry, all kinds of criminals and sects could make their headquarters in cozy sewers!


    As the party and the band made jokes about kicking down doors, everyone tracked back to the Musicians'' not-Guild. Everyone, as in a large crowd, since probably the whole audience of the duel followed behind, even picking up random pedestrians.


    Prof hoped they weren''t there for a showing of kick-a-door-in.


    They first walked up to the not-Guild''s front entrance – obviously infiltrating through the kitchen door was still frowned upon by Greenskinkind. Not, that they could have secretly infiltrated with around a thousand spectators. There were even food vendors setting up shop.


    They were awaited by a locked door and Sumpfigerort’s previous not-Guildmaster.


    “Honoured Redcap, dear Mythrillhead, and associates, good morning. As you know, that un-excellent piece of trash locked himself into the not-Guildhouse. You being here for his head puts me in a very bad position."


    “Good morning to you too.” Prof decided not to forgo pleasantries. That wouldn’t have been gentlemanly. Or excellent. “What kind of bad position do you imply?”


    “You see, while I myself am a follower of the Boonies and Borderlands style, a horrible name, by the way, I do think, every other style has its place. Yes, even Mythrill. The way a lot of not-Guildmasters tried to suppress this new music wasn''t excellent. However, I can''t allow you entry to the not-Guildhouse."


    “Why? You even have the keys there!”


    “Oh, I see. You are a foreigner, with probably not enough points in [Culture: Greenskinian] and [Law: Greenskinian]. The short version is, it wouldn''t be excellent. I won''t bore you with a longer explanation. You have enough local friends, they could fill you in if you are interested."


    “She’s right, it wouldn’t be excellent.” Wolfgang agreed.


    “It would be a Treesquezer thing to do.” Adeltraut seconded.


    “You see, according to the law, a not-Guildmaster is required to…”


    “Thank you, Wilhelm. We will revisit the issue at a later time.”


    “Dear not-Guildmaster, are you willing to resist? Do we have to fight?" Prof asked to clarify. He didn''t exactly want to fight. Or being present for the final retirement of the other not-Guildmaster.


    “Absolutely not. I''m only required to not allow entry, but not to fight."


    “So, we have to steal the keys from you, or break down the door?”


    “Pretty much, yes. However, stealing the keys, I have right here on my belt for everyone to see wouldn''t be excellent, and would raise problems with the Thieves'' not-Guild. Ah, hello, not-Guildmaster. If you need to break down a door, I would ask you to do it with the kitchen entrance. With how strained our finances are at this time, we wouldn''t be able to replace the front door."


    “Could you please give us a minute?" Prof collected his hit squad and repositioned themselves a bit away. "So, what should it be? Stealing the keys, or breaking down the kitchen door?"


    “I would rather do this without property damage. Or stealing. Neither is excellent." Wolfgang was the first to share his opinions. He was considerate enough to do it in Bergian – Sharpclaw was starting to get frustrated lately by everyone speaking Greenskinnian.


    “Me besssst in lockpicking. 101%!” the Kobold supplied.


    “Aw, come on, guys! This is getting ridiculous! Should we perhaps knock? Maybe someone would open the door!” Mini, on the other hand, was starting to get frustrated by the absence of bloodshed. And orgies.


    “That is actually a good idea! Not opening the door, when someone knocks, isn''t excellent!" Adeltraut wasn''t exactly able to understand sarcasm – that was probably because she was the worst in Bergian. You can miss quite a few clues if you don''t speak the language.


    “So, kick-a-door-in?”


    “Of course! This is what I was saying all the time!” Mini just gloated.


    “Would it be possible to just slightly damage the kitchen door?" Wolfgang asked, "It doesn''t feel right to destroy more than absolutely needed."


    “Me good in lockpicking!” Sharpclaw waved her hands around, but most just ignored her.


    “Would you be able to pick the lock?" of course, Prof was paying attention.


    “No. No have lockpickssss. Wassss jussst sssaying.”


    “Oh. We should probably buy some lockpicks and skeleton keys, just for future use.” Prof decided. Better to be over-prepared, than standing around in need.


    “You do realize, those are regulated, illegal items?” Bianca interjected


    “No problem, I’m a member of the Thieves’s not-Guild. I could get you some for an excellent price.” Wilhelm volunteered “Of course, you would have to promise, not to use them in Greenskinlands. That would infringe on the not-Guild’s business, and would lead to a lawsuit.”


    “So, we are back to kick-a-door-in…”


    “Oh, come on! Kick that damn door in already! I will die of old age before you move your asses! This is booooooring!!!”


    “Ehm, Mini… You are undead, you physically can’t die of old age!”


    “See? This is so boring, I feel like dying of old age!”


    “Mini, my friend. If you feel an overwhelming sensation of boredom, where dying is a preferable state to the continued apathy, that is not considered dying of old age, but rather dying of boredom. There is a very important distinction between the two."


    “Wiseass. Can we kill that little green slime already?”