Mini was disappointed. Instead of bringing utensils for a kinky party, the remaining people drew weapons. Cudgels, truncheons, the odd dagger, axe, and one or two table legs. One of the idiots even brandished a tankard.


    Those traitors! They promised her a good time, and now they wanted to attack an innocent, random bystander?! How far the morals have fallen within only a few minutes! Promises had to be kept! Now, she had to have fun beating them up! Who would taste her magnificent new inventions afterward?!?


    Not, that she planned to share those, but now even the theoretical possibility was removed. What if, she felt generous? She was already noble, being magnanimous was just a synonym for that, after all!


    Well, in Bergian it was, in Forestean, however "noble" had the meaning of "someone, who was strong enough to get an estate" while "generous" meant, "someone stupid and broke". If one wants to play on words and meanings, one should stick to the same language. Thinking in one language, and then switching to another just to make oneself look good because of semantics, was just cheap. Only insane people would do that!


    Oh, wait.


    Just to open up the fun, she shot the wiseass and the cowardly one. Of course, into the stomach – she already had enough ingredients and food, it made no difference if two got their taste spoiled. Their crying would most likely demoralize the rest, making it easier for her to… She just realized, she wanted to have fun, not dispose of the trash. If they were fearful, it would mean less fun for her.


    Unless…


    Inflicting fear could be fun too! She flared Blood Magic again, raising her [Intimidation] to truly fearful Levels, and snatched a short Garuli male, rushing her.


    “Little maggots! Now the fun really starts!" She bit down on her victim''s neck and used a spell or feat, she usually neglected: Exsanguinate. She always thought, sucking out every last drop of blood within a few seconds, leaving just a dried-out husk behind was wasteful and no fun. If you just shovel your food in, how could you taste the full, pleasant flavors, that are sweet and rounded at the same time, the complex correlation between oaky, coppery, and fruity savors?


    In this case, presenting a husk to those traitors, just moments after she got her hands on some tasty red (instead of a flowery bouquet, it stank of sweat), was exactly, what she needed. Folks needed incentives to feel real terror!


    Of course, she wouldn’t settle for simple, pedestrian fear, if she could achieve a perfect result! As it was befitting her perfect and glorious self!


    Probably she would need to get one of those image-capturing magical thingies, she heard of in the Domain. And a few henchmen (with high Charisma and Endurance, of course) to record her heroic deeds. Re-watching herself kill evil-doers was most likely better, than striking poses in front of a mirror.


    She could even make that thing, Prof told her about from his previous world. Showing herself to multiple people and earning money from their adulations was something, she deserved. What did that cute immigrant call them? Either porn or movies. Either way, a lot of people could watch her doing things, while they admired and paid her. It would be perfect!


    As she was.


    She may have overdone it, though. Either her deep-red eyes, foot-long fangs, or bloodthirsty stare made the seasoned drunkards wet themselves. However, it also could have been a large amount of consumed beer and the alcohol-induced weakness of very important muscles.


    It may have been the desiccated corpse of one of their friends, casually thrown in the face of the closest prospective robber.


    “You are gross little maggots! Do you have no shame?!?!" Mini shouted and decapitated the only Greenskin in the party. While Levels weren''t the only measure on Arkadia (Perks, Skills, and the classification of the individual being also important), she was like a Dread Rooster in a fox coop. Where the foxes were kits and Normals. And drunk.


    All of her enemies were obviously Level Verylittle with maybe forty or fifty HP. No armor. They weren''t even trying to dodge, parry, block, or defend! Mini didn''t even need Critical Hits to kill them in one strike.


    “Swoosh! Thunk! Splash!” even after she added sound effects, the massacre was starting to get boring “Guys! At least try to fight! This is boring! Splash! Splash! Come oooooon! PLEASE!”


    She was down to begging – it was infuriating, that the magnificent Minerva Pannonnii had to beg some random low-lives to provide her with fun! They should beg her! How were they even still alive?!?! Natural selection would mean, that morons, who didn’t defend themselves would be removed from the procreation pool, or at least sold to nice people, who would defend them. Or sacrifice them in very important rituals.


    By the time she finished begging, only two of the miscreants were standing. This definitely wasn’t fun, but was disturbingly and disgustingly similar to actual work.


    Why should a noble Vampire in the direct line of succession for a Duchy do actual work? This is why she had servants, like Prof, Bia, or Sharpclaw. Or those two, unfortunately, deceased Elves. Or basically everyone currently alive, dead, or undead on Arkadia.


    Even with how perfect she was, the morons did manage to hit her a few times. Not, that she suffered any damage. As everyone on Arkadia knew, to deal any damage to an undead, either a Critical Hit or a magical weapon was needed. Since magical weapons didn’t just grow on trees, not even wooden ones, obviously random thugs weren’t equipped with such. They were trash, so didn’t manage a Critical Hit either.


    What they were thinking?!? Attacking the most awesome Vampire in all of the Greenskin lands with just firewood?! Were they trying to stab her in the heart with those? First, they would need a Critical Hit, and second, it wouldn’t do much to her. Pathetic!


    Just as she was going to offer the last two survivors a choice, of how the fun should continue, she was interrupted by a chant.


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    “Seriously? Didn’t you learn your lessons?”


    “FIREBALL!!!”


    Unfortunately (for her), the Greenskin hedgemage wasn''t very good at aiming – the fireball didn''t come even close to Mini.


    “OH NOOOOO!!!” but detonated in the bar’s collection of alcohol. Flammable alcohol, stashed on flammable wooden shelves. All in a flammable wooden building.


    Oh, wait, no.


    Since Saugarten was a Greenskin city, every last building was made of almost-concrete, without much of flammable materials built in.


    Only the furniture and the shutters were actually flammable. And the (fake) wooden floor. All in all, there was enough wood and high-percent booze to let the building burn… well, not to the ground, almost-concrete was still inflammable, after all, but to a burned-out husk of an otherwise perfectly fine building.


    Of course, that would only happen, if no one with water magic intervened. Or no one called the fire brigade.


    No such thing happened, though. While Mini wasn’t a pyromaniac, she did enjoy beautiful things, like a bar burning at night, while good music was playing from the nearest barricade. The flames licking out of the windows were especially picturesque. If there was a lake nearby, someone with talent would be even able to write an epic song about the whole spectacle.


    So, naturally, Mini didn''t call for the fire brigade and wasn''t able to use magic to begin with. The other two survivors – the evil arsonist met her end with a severed spine and suffocating in the flames – were just standing around, fearfully looking at the most awesome person on Fenria.


    “What now?” the taller one asked.


    “Let me tell you what now. I’m gonna find another bar and some ingredients to do science for the betterment of all Vampirekind!”


    “He meant, what now between us and you?” the fatter one clarified.


    “Oh, that what now. Glad you asked! Since I’m freshly out of ingredients, and you all still promised me some fun, which you haven’t delivered…”


    “Sepp, RUN!!!”


    “Fuck this shit! If I survive the night, I will apply for an honest job! Maybe as a tax collector!"


    “Shut up and run!”


    Finally, they understood, how to entertain Mini. Well, they chose one of several possibilities – there were countless choices, how to do that with an insane Vampire. Playing catch may not have been Mini''s preferred one, but she decided, that if the future ingredients wanted to play, she wouldn''t be a spoilsport. She was benevolent and great that way. She could be even called philanthropic! After all, she was helping all of Arkadia by bringing forth those probably excellent new mixes.


    She would need to come up with a name for them – rooster’s posterior wasn’t exactly good. Maybe “The most excellent Minerva Pannonnii’s awesomnest creation” would work? No, it definitely would work! She could probably shorten it to “A Minerva”. Would work too.


    Naming her future creation took only a few seconds, she was a genius, after all. No pedestrian would come up with the idea to name some invention, geographical features, or planets after themselves so quickly.


    Anyway, it was time for a light exercise, after a very light exercise, after a hard exercise. Playing catch ought to be fun, at least all the little ones always did it. Playing catch with each other, playing catch with their parents, they even played catch with wild animals and monsters! Those, who survived the last one, always looked happy.


    If children could have fun that way, why not adults? Mini was almost certain, there was no rule against it – and if there was one, she didn’t care about it.


    Shooting the idiots in the back would cut the chase – and so the fun – short. With an Agility of 15, she would almost certainly close the distance in no time, Normals rarely had Stats above 12 or so. That difference was usually enough for the Elites to be much faster. There were Normals with high Stats, that is, one or two, with at least one other Stat dangerously low in exchange, but Mini doubted, this trash had any. Intelligence, Charisma, and Luck were definitely out.


    Mini''s quick deliberations enabled her prey to get away a little bit – as in only a dozen meters or so. They were even slower than she assumed! Probably not even an Agility 10! Oh, well, they were drunk, and that had some influence on Stats.


    Obviously, Dexterity was influenced too, because the fatter one tripped on the smooth pavement. This was hilarious! Mini was satisfied. She visited a circus in one of the Bergian Kingdoms a few years back, and this was almost like that: funnily dressed morons tumbling around with musical backgrounds. Mini thought, they could have done more funny things with the animals they had, like feeding the morons to them, but it was funny enough.


    Here, the comedic interlude even had fire! And some strange version of rioting!


    “Look, guys, you obviously don''t know, what running away means." Mini sauntered over, where the taller drunk tried to get the fatter one to his feet "See, when you are running away, you don''t take a nap on the sidewalk. Oh, and you do the running at your full speed. This is ridiculous! How high is your Agility? Five?"


    The two fugitives obviously had enough, even the taller one sat down.


    “Fine, kill us! But no ridiculing! Do it in silence, damn wench!”


    “Hey! I was just sitting in a bar, minding my own business, when you idiots tried to rob me and wanted to have fun! It''s not my fault!" Mini countered.


    “You wanted to kill our two friends, of course, we would intervene!"


    “It was for science! How could I make a Mini, if I don’t have ingredients?!? They may even have survived!”


    “You wanted to make a what?”


    “A Mini! It’s my newest invention! You mix different kinds of alcohol and other stuff to make a fine new beverage!”


    “So, like a cocktail?”


    “A what?”


    “Ehhmmm… Dick''s Feathers? Scut? Ehmm… Brush? Damn, I''m not that good in Bergian, sorry." Conversations on Arkadia would have been much easier if everyone spoke the same language – misunderstandings due to faulty translations would have been less common. On the other hand, speaking multiple languages allowed smart people to make a living out of mis-translating important documents. Or interpreting between two rich guys and selling the information to other people.


    Or order beer in multiple languages. Which was probably even more important! Dying of thirst in a foreign country wasn’t fun, after all. If you could do it politely, even better – both the dying of thirst and the ordering. Most locals don’t exactly like impolite foreigners, who don’t even vitalize the economy by buying beer, after all.


    Anyways, Mini was shocked.