It was actually strange, but nothing went wrong in the two days, they traveled Puglamento''s roads. Either the commissar didn''t have the means to call the cavalry, or he decided, discretion was the better part of valor, and didn''t advertise his failure to acquire monetary means for the state. Or himself.


    Ehmm… failure of not arresting illegal nobles and innocent adventurers.


    It was either one of those two reasons or the call for help went under in a classical badly-run medieval bureaucracy. It was also possible, that the cavalry was indeed called, the call wasn''t ignored by the person, who sent the help on the way, but the authorities arrested the wrong party of a Human, a Vampire, and a Kobold.


    It happened before.


    Well, it probably happened on Arkadia before, it was almost a common composition for an adventuring party, but it most definitely happened on Earth. Not with Vampires and Kobolds, but still.


    “One last push, and we will enter the picturesque country of Julia” Prof informed them, as they waited in line at the border post. It was indeed a small little push, barely five wagons long – and Prof hoped, there would be no trouble from the border guards. They were leaving Puglamento, after all, and the guards usually were only interested in folks entering.


    “Is this as booooooring as the last one?” Mini asked.


    “The travel guide says, it has notable architecture, awesome natural wonders, and a unique culture. So…"


    “I see. Boring as the last one. Oh, wait! Unique culture? Do they have daily orgies or manhunts?”


    “I don’t think so. They are Garuli too. Let’s see… They have these little squares in every town, where the locals get drunk and play Blood Ball every fifth day.”


    “Hah! These peasants call it a unique culture?!?! We do this every other day back home! As soon as I become Supreme Emperor, I will remedy this farce!”


    “You play Blood Ball in Forestdeep? I thought it was some Western sport."


    “Prof, we don’t play that game. It’s too peaceful for us, but we have a lot of fun sports! Hack-the-loser is a classic!


    “Slice and Dice!”


    “Spikeball!”


    “Fireball!”


    “Baseball!”


    “And the losing team usually gets sacrificed in some important ritual.”


    “Or we get Skeletons for cheap. No sense of wasting good boners!”


    The more Prof learned about Forestdeep, the more sure he was, that he wouldn''t, ever, visit the natural wonders, unique culture, and picturesque ruins in that stretch of Arkadia. While it was the quintessence of an enchanted forest, full of almost-extinct species and truly unique monsters… Well, that was it. Only murderhobos, battle maniacs, or suicidal people would go willingly there.


    Prof was neither.


    He would have been content with some non-haunted small castle at the seaside, and making occasional voyages to nice and peaceful countries to visit the ruins of the not-so-nice and not-so-peaceful past of said country.


    Maybe running a dungeon or two for spending money.


    Constant danger in the ''country'' of battle maniacs? No, thank you.


    “Thank you for visiting our glorious, noble-free country! Come back soon!" Prince D?nci could have taken the example of the puglamentese border guard. Not, that Prof was keen on returning…


    “Thank you for visiting our glorious, noble-rich country! Do you have anything to declare?” the julianese border guard was equally polite. Not, that Prof wanted to declare anything.


    “We are just passing through.” He informed the roadside toll collector.


    “And we are adventurers. Nothing to declare here. At least nothing, we want to declare." Mini wasn''t all that helpful there. Informing official officials, that someone had something, they wanted to hide mostly led to said official officials doing a thorough search of every possible cavity.


    “Oh, we should do a throughout searching of your vehicle and bags! Hope, you don’t mind.” it came as Prof feared. Will he have to pay taxes for his legitimate salvage again? Would he be robbed blind by official officials, doing official things and quoting official regulations?


    “Of course, we mind. According to the Adventurer''s Guild''s international charter, adventurers in the presence of a Master Adventurer – like myself – are exempt from searches by the authorities. A search would be considered an assault on the adventurers… Wait! Please, try to search us! I''m booooored!"


    After a little bit of brainstorming – and asking the captain – the guards decided, that a search (and providing a bored Vampire with fun) wasn’t strictly necessary. However, Prince D?nci wasn’t an adventurer, and like every frustrated guard, who found a loophole, they descended on the Grimalkin.


    “You aren’t an adventurer, we can search you! Please show your belongings!”


    A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    “Miau?” D?nci said, trying – not very successfully – to act cute. Maybe he should have put some Skill Points into [Acting]…


    “He is basically a cat.” Prof informed the guard “Where would a cat transport belongings?”


    “Bag of Holding? Personal luggage space? There are dozens of means to transport belongings! You won’t be able to outsmart me!”


    Prof somewhat doubted that. Folks with high Intelligence rarely chose a career, composed of standing around at border posts in the middle of nowhere and occasionally harassing random cats. Their chosen field of work mostly included a desk in a cozy office, three warm meals a day, and a lack of back-breaking activities.


    Of course, the guard could have had Skills or Perks, that helped with not being outsmarted. Actually, there was one Perk, Resistance: Smarts, but it probably did something different.


    As it transpired, D?nci indeed had some personal dimension or something, where he stashed quite a bit of stuff. It was actually a Perk of the species, called a Stash. With that kind of cryptic name, it was no wonder, Prof hadn’t figured out what the Perk did earlier.


    D?nci''s stash included quite a bit of currency – Prof spied Bergian, Elven, Greenskinian, and a few other, unidentifiable coins – a collection of books, food enough for a party of ten and a week, and miscellaneous clutter. Including, but not limited to jewelry, potions, a cat-sized crown, dried herbs, and a comb.


    Prof was quite sure, he hadn''t seen such a Perk when he re-invented himself in the afterlife office, and neither was it included in the rulebooks, he bought in Ostwaldland.


    “Nice Perk. Say, Mini, why wasn’t it included in the rulebook?”


    “Why would it be? It''s an exclusive Perk for only a few species, Grimalkin has it as default, I think, Specters or Ghosts can choose it, and maybe some bird people. No one else has access to it. Unfortunately. Imagine, how much fun you could have with it!"


    Prof remembered the bird people from the rulebooks – there was everything from tiny hummingbird-looking critters to huge, three-meter-tall terror birds. Of course, he wasn''t able to figure out anything about their habitats – not, that he was overly interested in any species besides Humans when he died. In the books he read, Humans were the most prolific species in all the multiverses. Maybe second only to rats, slimes, and lawyers. Well, that would be fourth, but anyway.


    The fugitive Prince was actually lucky in that he didn''t need to pay an excessive amount for transporting his stuff – and nothing was impounded either. It only took half an hour of detailed valuation – Prof suspected, the actual Skill was in play – for the guards to be satisfied.


    There remained only one question.


    “D?nci, why do you always demand food, when you have enough for weeks in your transport space? We aren''t free food dispensers!"


    “It’s Prince D?nci, peasant. How often do I need to tell you that? I demand food because you are too stupid or lazy to provide it by yourself, as you should. Pampering your future Supreme Emperor should come easy even to you, cave dweller. That reminds me… See that comb? Use it! I haven''t had a good brush for days!"


    “Oh, the silken fur got dirty?”


    “I will scratch out important organs if you try to be funny again!"


    “You can safely disregard his reproductive organs.” Mini was helpful as always “He doesn’t do anything with them. The brain… also not much used. Try the tongue! Less whining and complaining!”


    Prof wisely decided to whine and complain about his party members regarding him as a whiner and complainer wouldn''t solve anything, and just concentrated on getting his carriage moving.


    Without flattening the guards, the guard post, or a nearby campfire.


    The barrier on the other side of the road was still driven over. While being behind the wagon, and Prof driving forward.


    Obviously, that experience was enough, because as soon as the whole party was safely on Julianese territory, the much-awaited red exclamation mark started flashing. It was indeed time for the next, well-placed and hard-worked-for Level Up! It felt like months of endless goofing around, without much importance happening since the last time. In some trashy novel, dozens of Chapters would have passed, while in reality, it was only a week or two.


    Anyways…


    The first thing Prof was greeted with was a notification of a new, awesome Perk!


    <u>Attention!</u>


    Because running over people, animals, things, and random features of geography, botany, and hydrography, all the while driving a massively over-powered Hog-wagon, and without having any useable Skill in doing so, you have been gifted with the Perk: Road Warrior! From now on, running things over would be much easier, and you will do much more damage to them! Witness!


    Prof somehow expected a new Perk, that was more tied to what he did in the last few months. Constantly learning new languages – simply because the stupid Arkadians couldn''t settle on a common language, everyone spoke – looting stuff, being smart and polite, or traveling his new world.


    But no.


    The System Administrator wasn''t only a moron, but a jackass too! After barely a few days of trying to reign his Hogs in (and getting them drunk) and trying NOT to run stuff over, the Perk he got made it actually easier to flatten stuff! Mentioning that one time, when he actually ran some hydrography over was just… cruel. Besides, that stream looked all right afterward.


    At least he got those juicy Skill Points as a consolation – 25% each went immediately into [Speech: Western Common] and [Speech: Fellarian]. Only a short time in Gerulian lands proved to him, that at least 50% was needed in a language to be able to marginally function. He planned to stay in the Fallarian… Kingdom? Empire? State? for some time, getting the language known early on was important. [Culture], [Laws], [Etiquette], and other social Skills could wait for a bit. He still had some weaknesses to shore up.


    20% each went into [Parry] and [Block] to reduce the difference to [Evade]. There was still quite a bit of disparity, but it started to look good with 89% to 201%.


    The left-over 20% went into [Driving], bringing it up to 52% - he collected some points on the way. When you have a Perk, that helps you run stuff over, you should make sure, you have enough Skill to NOT run stuff over, you don''t want to be run over.


    It was just logical.


    As with every Level Up, Prof got flooded with new information. New phrases, words, and connotations from the two language Skills, how to deflect or stop different attacks, and how to actually make drunken Hogs walk in a marginally straight way.


    It was a pity, that Earth didn''t have such a convenient system in place, and one had to learn everything the hard way.


    Obviously, Prof wasn’t the only one, who collected enough experience, though.


    I Leveled! It’s party time!”