That day, as I dressed up and prepared for work... as I made my way to work up until I sat in my office seat, I felt uneasy inside.


    So when she came to me, two monthster, with an ultrasound report and put her hand on her t tummy, her eyes glinting with a mixture of hope, fear and happiness, I hadn''t really been surprised. "Tom, I''m pregnant," her voice trembled, barely above a whisper.


    I had just sat there and stared at her, I guessed deep down, I already knew she was pregnant.


    But I still reacted though. The blood had drained from my face at the realization that what I dreaded had finally happened. "But I remembered that I told you to take the birth control pill!" I had blurt out angrily without thinking or even considering her feelings.


    As expected, tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at me. "I did take it," her voice quivered, "But it must have failed. It was an ident, okay? I didn''t expect this to happen either. But, I want to keep this baby, Mark," she took a step closer to me, "And the doctor said my body is too weak, if I don''t keep this child, I might never have the chance to be a mother again." My body is too weak.....


    It was an excuse I had grown ustomed to. I could almost always tell whenever there was a buting after a sentence that it was what she would say.


    Her weak body was always perfectly okay whenever she pleaded with me to make love to her roughly. It was the only time her weak body was strong.


    But still, I couldn''t let her abort the child. I put it there, even if I was oblivious of my actions. I could easily picture myself pounding into her in my drunken state. Besides, that child in her womb would be my first


    child.


    "Then..." Even to me, my voice had sounded stuck in my throat. I looked at Be, feeling a bit guilty for my immediate outburst. "Then have the child, I''ll take responsibility. It''s my responsibility."


    Hearing this, Be had immediately burst into tears and thrown herself into my arms and cried uncontrobly. She didn''t care how solemn I had sounded or how transactional the admission that I would take responsibility had sounded, she was just happy that she was pregnant and I didn''t turn away


    from her.


    I could only hold her gently, my mind torn in chaos. I tried to push the warring thoughts away but they would surface again; I felt like I had been duped. I felt tricked by Be and that day, as I gently held her in my arms and reflexively patted her on her back, I could already feel my love for her dissipating.


    She moved in to my ce. And as we lived on together as a couple, I kept having that vague feeling that the mother of my unborn child was hiding something from me. Suddenly, I started to reason our whole rtionship from the start. We seemed to have been very into each other...very in love until we started nning for our wedding.All text ? N?velD(r)a''ma.Org.


    We were together for quite a long time and she never for once told me or even hinted at it that she had any heart condition. Suddenly, I found myself married to the sister of the woman I loved because the one I wanted couldn''t attend our wedding as she had to be urgently flown out for a treatment. Then in a blur


    and matter of minutes, I found out that my Be had a heart disease.


    For a while after the marriage, I was ridden with guilt. I scolded and hated myself for not seeing the signs but I learned to live with it... or rather I learned to pour out my frustration and anger on my poor wife. After three years of zeromunication or any form of contact from her - only assional vague reports about her health from her parents and her desire to see me - she came waltzing back into my life, perfectly fine.


    Her surgery and therapies were sessful and she was fine again but she had to live a fragile life onwards.


    I had believed it was an opportunity for me to show her that I cared, make up for lost time and also rid myself of the guilt. And also because of my undying blinding love for her, I had weed her back into the embrace of my arms and became a cheating husband thereby hurting the woman I was legally married to in tenfolds. Yet, I dared to me her for filing for a divorce.


    Another loophole in all of the conflicting rtionship and life I had been living with Be was that, since she came back, she had never allowed me to apany her whenever she was going for her periodic heart checkup.