Voices boomed over the airport intercom. People rushed by in such hurry. Abby and Grammy were like the eye of a hurricane in the center of all the mad rush. The both sat so very still, watching the gate from which Susan would emerge. Chester had not come with them. In his weakened state he had to avoid crowds. Crowds carried germs and viruses. His immune system might absorb a simple cold and transform it into a fatal illness. Abby wished she had some excuse not to be here. It had been almost two years since she had last seen Susan. Susan like Chester was always short on money and visits were few and far between. Also, though Susan had invited Abby to come visit her, Grammy would not let her. She disapproved of the revolving parade of men that came and went in Susan''s life.
A flight number was called. Grammy glanced at the board. It was Susan''s flight. She sighed, squared her shoulders while Abby unconsciously did the same. Soon people were streaming out the gate, and then Susan appeared. Her long graying hair was pulled back in a pony tail. Her face delicately lined by the cigarettes she smoked. She wore a crochet shawl and pirate boots. She looked like a gypsy, she was a gypsy, restless and ever moving. Her dark eyes caught sight of Grammy then Abby. Both stood to greet her. Susan moved toward them, her body had the easy swing of a former dancer, which she was. Abby suspected she had not always danced in nice places, but her suspicions were never confirmed by Grammy. Now days Susan got bit parts in off off broadway plays and waitressed. When Susan''s eyes met Abby''s they lit up in surprise. She rushed forward, dropped her tattered carry on and scooped Abby into her arms. This was the way she always met her mother. Abby sunk her face into her mother''s shoulder. Her head always seemed to fit in that space. The scent of stale cigarette smoke and lavender filled her nostrils. Susan said, "God, Abby you have done gone and become a woman on me." She let go of her and spun her around. "Cute figure and you got a nice ass. Not like mine, nothing worse than a flat ass."
Abby could think of a lot of things worse than having a flat ass, but she kept them to herself and smiled like she meant it. Large hoop earring glistened in Susan''s ears. She turned her attention to Grammy and gave her a fierce hug. "Thanks for sending me the cash to get here, I will pay you back." Susan never paid anyone back.
Grammy smiled, said she was glad to see her. Abby wasn''t sure she was, but as Abby now knew, Grammy lied a lot. It seemed a necessary skill in dealing with Chester and Susan and the chaos that came with them.
"Let''s get the f--,"Susan stopped herself, then said, "Let''s go."
"Of course dear." They headed out into the night. The stars were barely visible in the haze covered sky. As soon as they were fifty feet away from the building, Susan pulled a cigarette from her beat up case and deftly lit it. She took a long draw. Her hands shook as she exhaled. "I know you don''t like me smokin'' and I won''t do it in your house or around Chester, but after that flight, I need some nicotine, and bad."
"It is okay, dear. The car is on the second level." They took the stairs because Susan didn''t like elevators. How somebody survived in New York and feared elevators was beyond Abby. Of course she had never been to New York, maybe she would go one day, when Grammy no longer could tell her what to do. As she walked along beside Susan breathing in her smoke, a memory, vague, but still present surfaced. She was by the bay, a young woman tossed stones into the water, while Abby sat hunched on the pilings watching the smoke curl from the woman''s lips. How old had she been? Suddenly she knew, Susan had come down for Grandy''s funeral, and she was staying with them. How long had she stayed? Abby couldn''t remember.
"There''s the car." It was the new one Grammy had chosen since Chester had totaled the old one. Abby liked the blue color of the little Mazda, and it seemed Susan did too. She said, "Nice," as she slid into the front seat. Once again, Abby found herself in the back seat staring at the back of the head of one of her parents. Unlike Chester, Susan did not have a bald spot and she was not quiet. Her chatter was instantaneous from the moment she crushed her cigarette out in the ashtray. Abby tried to listen, but something was twisting inside of her. Something was coming, some moment. She felt its approach and fear took hold of her. She looked out the window as they drove. Susan talked about work, her latest boyfriend, the play she was in and the Universe. It seemed the Universe was on her side at present. The Universe sounded a little like God, but not like anything that could be befriended.
Finally they were at the house. Susan got out slowly. She said, "It looks the same. How does this place always look the same?"
Grammy didn''t answer. She took her keyes from her purse and headed for the front door. The lights in the living room were on. From outside Abby heard the piano. It sounded like David was playing Brahms'' Scheiden und Meiden, had he come over? When they walked into the house, it was Chester who was playing. Abby knew he could play, only he had not done so in all the time he had been there. Susan rushed toward Chester, he stopped playing. He gave her a shy smile. Susan exclaimed, "God, Chester, it has been awhile." Chester stood, he put his arms around Susan and hugged her. This was the first time Abby had ever seen her parents together. This was the first time. The something inside her that had been twisting, went completely still. These two bodies had mingled and she had come from them. Them, had formed her. The stillness inside of her was recognition of the sparse though necessary contribution these two had made to get her on the planet. She felt Grammy''s arm go around her.
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Susan let go of Chester. They both turned to Abby. It was very strange to see bits of herself mirrored in these two people. She had Susan''s chin, and Chester''s forehead. Her ears were small like Susan''s and she like to wear her hair back in a pony tail too. A part of her longed to step forward and throw herself into their arms, but she remained where she was. She dare not risk her feelings, not with those two. There was no guarantee her sudden gush of family longing would be reciprocated.
To Chester, Susan asked, "She''s turned out beautiful hasn''t she?"
"Yup. Ma''s done a good job with her." Both smiled at her. Abby felt the warmth of their smiles, felt the tug of their parental pride. Her face flushed red with embarrassment.
"Oh, don''t blush Sweetie," Susan said. "You are beautiful." In that moment, Abby felt beautiful.
*
The last supper was in progress. At least that was what Abby was calling the meal. This was her first Thanksgiving with her parents, and deep down she knew it would be the last. At the head of the table, Chester tried to plow through his food, but he did not have much appetite. Susan''s loud talk of her theatrical career was off putting and for some reason she was rather hostile toward Lila. She kept referencing Lila''s little paintings, as if Lila lacked skill or style because her work wasn''t in any New York Galleries. If David had not been beside Abby, she would be in tears. His sympathetic glances and goofy remarks kept the heaviness at the table from crushing them all. The Thanksgiving''s on TV were not like this unless they were a black comedy. And this comedy or was it a tragedy was surely dark. Her own appetite was small, so it seemed was Grammy''s. Hugh and David ate with gusto, and Mr. Nick who had come across the street for the party was delicately eating a bowl of diced turkey breast on the chair beside Ryan. Abby had managed to avoid Ryan for weeks. At the moment he was making puppy eyes at her, like she was the only girl in the universe. Right. She was determined not to spend a second alone with him.
After the meal, the males retired to the living room to watch a ball game. For awhile Abby helped, Lila, Susan and Grammy clean the kitchen. Susan''s constant chatter got on her nerves. It seemed the woman could not shut up. It was nervousness, in part, the other was that Susan liked the sound of her own voice and found her own stories entertaining even if no one else did. Abby took the clean china plates to the dining room and put them in the china cabinet. When she stood up, she was aware of a presence very near her. Mr. Nick wound himself around her legs. A familiar hand slid down the length of her arm. A whole herd of butterflies took flight inside of her. Damn Ryan, why did he have to have this effect on her? She did not turn to him. She felt his breath on her neck and an odd thrill ran through her that she wanted to squash. How dare he? Anger began to rise in her as she forced herself to recall Ryan and that girl on the pilings. She had never found out who she was, not that she had really tried to find out.
His hand slipped over hers and entwined with her fingers. God did he do this to every girl? Was she as stupid as Juliet, so easily swayed by an inconstant young man who thought he was in love with every face that caught his eye? If Juliet had given Romeo two weeks he would have fallen desperately in love with someone else.
Softly Ryan said, "I sure have missed you." His body was now in full contact with hers. She could feel his chest, feel the rapid beat of his heart through her back.
"What are y''all doing?" It was David.
Abby turned to him. His eyes were wide and round. "Nothing. Ryan is just pestering me." She moved away from Ryan.
David did not look convinced. "Did he kiss you?"
Before Abby could answer Ryan said, "Yes."
The light in David''s eyes went out. His face crumbled, in fact his entire being seemed to crumble. He did not speak. He bolted out the front door.
Abby socked Ryan hard in the arm. "You idiot, why did you say that? You did not kiss me!"
"Yes I did, it was time the squirt knew. Besides he needs to get over you."
"Uh, you need to get over me. I don''t like you."
"What, you like a twelve year old? Didn''t think you were a perve."
Abby glared at Ryan, how dare he! He used girls to get his little and big thrills. He was only after her today because she was handy, not because he cared. Disgusted she said, "Shut up asshole." She grabbed her hoody from its hook by the door and went after David.
Outside the wind as usual was kicking hard. It was damp, cold and the force of it hurt. Abby looked from the right to the left. She saw David scampering over the pilings headed toward the park. His flip flops were slowing his progress. Abby headed after him. She did not call out to him, for fear he would increase his speed and break his neck. When he reached the park, he looked behind him, and saw her. He broke into a full run, loosing both shoes in the process. Abby''s legs were longer than his and her vision was clearer because she was not crying like he was. Without slowing her pace, she snatched up his flip flops when she reached them. At the pier she finally caught him. She grabbed a hold of his baggy sweat shirt. "Here''s your shoes. Put them on, I don''t want you to cut your foot."
David turned fierce eyes on her. "Go away, I hate you!"
"No you don''t. Your brother is a liar, he did not just kiss me. He did kiss me several weeks ago, but he stole that kiss, I did not give it to him. Do I look stupid enough to get caught up in his girl games?"
With the sleeve of his sweatshirt David wiped his eyes. He stared hard into Abby''s. "You telling me the truth?"
"Yes. I am. David, next to Grammy I love you best."
David''s face lit up like the Christmas tree in Times Square. Abby had not meant to say it, though it was true.
"That is almost as good as being your boyfriend."
Cautiously, Abby said, "No it is better. You won''t just disappear one day. We will still be friends even when we are old like your mom and my dad are." It was the first time Abby had ever referred to Chester as her dad.
The light in David''s eyes did not even dim. "Okay, I won''t be twelve forever and I''m not a homosexual."
"David! I love you like a brother. Okay. That is it."
He grinned at her and slipped his cold blue feet into his flip flops. "Yup, I know, but just wait, I am gonna be gorgeous when I turn twenty-one and you are so gonna want me."