“My fierce falcon,” Artem cried when he first arrived via royal carriage to escort Regina and Henrietta (as Regina’s chaperone) to the theater. “You are truly a vision of… loveliness and… elegance and…”
“Horizontal ambition?” Henrietta dryly said as Regina proudly made her way to the carriage with a skirt so wide that it would make the skirt she wore to the engagement ball shrink aside in fear.
“Horizontal astonishment!” Artem cheerfully replied, actually looking as though he meant it. “Regina, my darling, you will take away the breath of everyone at the theater!”
“Perfect,” Regina said, though she would be fine with taking the breath away of her would-be assassin - literally, if she could catch them in the folds of her skirt. “That is just the effect I am aiming for.”
One very uncomfortable royal carriage ride later –
(There had been just enough room for Artem to fit in with Regina so long as he nested in the spray of her petticoats while Henrietta sensibly sat with the carriage driver).
The party of three ended up at the royal theater.
However, just as Artem was about to escort Regina and Henrietta up the grand staircase and to the royal box overlooking the stage, Regina stopped him with a raised hand.
“My love,” she loudly asked him (and all nearby witnesses), “is it right for us to rise so high instead of mingling with our fellow citizens tonight?”
“What do you mean?” Artem asked, looking confused while Henrietta narrowed her eyes at Regina’s sudden and sanctimonious speech.
“I mean,” Regina said, with the largest, most doe-like eyes she could muster, “that I do not feel we should act as though we are better than others around us. Does that not go against the credo of your family?”
“The credo of my family?” Artem repeated, blinking even as Henrietta put her head in her hands as she anticipated what was about to happen.
“Yes!” Regina cried, so loudly that the crowd that had gathered to look at her began murmuring at her passionate words. “After all, if I am to be a new member of the royal Alpis, I must live up to your family’s words of ‘Not for Us but For All.’ So you and I cannot just rise above the crowd as though we think we are above them.”
Passionately placing her hand over her heart, Regina added, “Artem, you and I must stand with the common people of Carcosa to show how much we care! We are more than just a prince and future princess - we are patriots of the Carcosan people. So let us go down to where the common people dwell – and where they will see tonight’s show!”
Then, having made her point and converted a sparkly-eyed Artem to her cause, Regina took his hand on one arm and Henrietta’s arm in the other –
And marched in the opposite direction of the royal box that her assassin wanted to murder her in.
This was how Regina found herself in the least expensive area of the entire theater - a dingy little pit that was standing-room only and reserved for the poorest commoners…
…Who in this case happened to be a group of orphans sponsored by the Marquess La Belle.
“What a pleasure to see you, princess!” the marquess cried, after hastily decamping from his spot in line for the royal box to see Regina and Artem in their new quarters. “I had no idea that you would prefer to view tonight’s play among the magicless peons – I mean, common people instead of the royal box!”
“I imagine,” Regina honestly said, “that absolutely no one other than myself could have anticipated that. Yet after I came to the theater…”
Here, she cast Artem a soulful glance that he returned, even as he continued making adorable metallic trinkets for the surrounding orphans.
“I just knew,” Regina cried, “that I needed to be among the people who needed me the most – the commoners, especially these dear little orphans!”
‘Especially,’ Regina internally added, ‘since I know that unlike every adult beside Artem and Henrietta, these dear orphans cannot possibly murder me.’
“By the blood,” Marquess La Belle cried, looking poleaxed, “I had no idea you cared for commoners so dearly! I thought you were like other Sheridans and… well… er…”
Casting a tender look at the orphans flocking around her – orphans who were unwittingly keeping her from interacting with her assassins – Regina smiled.
“I care very deeply for all the common people of Carcosa,” Regina said. “In fact, my darling Artem and I will even lend a hand with caring for these orphans!”
“Yes!” Artem cried from his perch closeby, looking up from making a lovely metal doll for a young girl who had requested one with her dark skin and purple braids. “I will do anything my darling Regina wants – especially if it means helping these adorable children!”
Nodding with approval at Artem’s perfect understanding, Regina added, “We will be sure to visit the orphanage these children live in and make a donation to support their living conditions. In the meantime, Marquess La Belle, I thank you for giving these children a night of beauty, even if their daily living expenses are covered by the crown.”
Smiling politely at the powerful marquess even as she used her massive skirt and entourage of orphans to keep him at bay, Regina added, “Truly, Marquess La Belle, I can only hope to live up to your charitable example. Only then can Artem and I be a prince and princess of the common people!”
Even as the seemingly silly marquess sighed over being flattered, Regina continued to smile and hand out the bank-notes that she had prepared to the children.
(In retrospect, she was deeply grateful that her mother and father had not asked her any questions about why she needed a mass of money to attend the theater. They had simply given her a large pile of bills that she was now pulling out through skirt pockets prepared by Henrietta and herself).
Granted, Regina was unsure if these young children – even knew what these notes could do. Regina just hoped that at some point, these bank notes could help them afford better clothes and more nutritious food – and she was prepared to go visit whatever institution they lived in to make sure that was the case.
After all, it was her right to do so as an incoming member of the royal family… especially since Artem would surely agree.
‘Besides,’ Regina told herself, ‘I owe these orphans for keeping me safe. None of them can be assassins since they are only children. What’s more, even if any of them were dangerous, none of them could have made it to the royal box as either a guest or attendant. So I can mingle with these children all I like for the rest of the night, even as I use them and my giant skirt to keep every suspicious person away!’
Thus, while a stream of nobles and even commoners continued to try to chatter with her, Regina was able to use the orphans as human shields to keep others at a poison-free distance. She even put Henrietta to work ushering callers apart from Marquess La Belle – who used his own sponsorship of the orphans to stay close to Regina – away so that Regina could mingle with the orphans further.
In fact, she was still speaking with the orphans and giving them bank notes that they seemed puzzled by when one of their youngest members walked up to her, gave her enormous skirts and tug and asked, “Princess, will we be as tall as you when we grow up?”
“I hope so,” Regina replied cheerfully as she slipped a banknote into the confused child’s little hands. “It might depend on how large your skirts are and that will depend on how many dangers you are trying to dodge.”
The child looked rightfully confused so Regina slipped her another banknote and said, “This will all make sense eventually.”
Yet even Regina’s garbled explanation did not deter the gazes of the children – gazes that gradually went from being curious to looking a little… worried.
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“Princess,” one of the older girls said as she began to point up at something beyond Regina’s head. “You are very tall so can you tell us if that is supposed to keep wobbling?”
That was when Regina stopped looking down and started looking up –
Only to realize that the gorgeous, floral-inscribed chandelier that she had admired in an earlier vision was starting to creak and sway dangerously…
Right above where she was standing.
Unfortunately, Regina’s horror apparently acted as some sort of orphan-magnet so instead of moving away as she would have wished, the orphans began to rush toward her to see what was making her so upset –
Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Regina stared at the very beautiful and very sharp chandelier as it unhinged and began to fall toward her face.
Yet as she stared at death yet again, Regina Sheridan realized something very important.
She realized that even beyond her fear of dying… she was afraid that her clever plans would kill innocent children.
Perhaps that was how Regina used the last few seconds of life left to her…
To gather the ends of her enormous skirt and scream “Mooooove!” as she caught the orphans around her in her skirt and pushed them out of the way of the first chandelier.
Regina was so desperate to get out of the way that she almost pushed herself and her orphans to a nearby wall that she barely avoided crashing into.
Mere seconds later, she heard the resounding crash of the chandelier falling behind her – and turned to see Artem staring at her, his hand extended as he used his own metallurgic magic to keep the shattered chandelier from shooting shards of jagged shrapnel at everyone.
“Regina!” Artem cried. “Are you all right?!”
“We are for now!” she yelled back.
Then, on seeing one of the children raise a trembling hand above her head, Regina looked up –
And with a burst of frantic energy, managed to toss herself and the children away from the wall before it was decimated by a chandelier falling to her last position.
“Regina!” Artem cried as he ran toward her, a drop of sweat falling down his brow as he exerted his power to keep shards from the latest chandelier from reaching her. “Are you hurt?!”
“No,” Regina cried, before she tightened her grip on her skirt and the children in it. “But we all will be if these chandeliers keep dropping anywhere I am stand–”
A creaking noise interrupted her as she stared up… and saw a more distant chandelier starting to sway across the room…
Before it began unhinging itself and pointing itself at her despite her not being beneath it.
That chandelier was going to hit her, Regina realized with horror – killing not only her but Artem and the children.
How was she going to survive the next few seconds, before it hit?!
How –
“Artem!” Regina cried as a desperate thought came to her mind. “Put some wheels on my heels and get us all moving!”
For a moment, as Artem stared at her with wide blue eyes, Regina feared he would not understand what she was asking –
But then something strange flickered in Artem’s eyes and he snapped his fingers…
Right before Regina felt herself be lifted off the ground as her heels gained wheels that allowed Artem to push her and the orphans caught in her enormous skirt away – right before another chandelier killed them all.
“By the blood,” Regina cried as she craned her neck to stare at the chandelier they had just escaped fromy. “I – I cannot believe that worked!”
Artem said nothing but from the way his fingers trembled around her waist, she could see that he was as shocked as she was.
“Regina…” he whispered, his voice curiously husky. “I had no idea…”
Before he could finish, Regina honed on all the orphans crying or standing shocked in the middle of the theater’s standing area –
The standing area that still contained enough space for more chandeliers to fall.
“Get moving!” she screamed at Artem, already flaring her skirt up to catch as many orphans as she could. “We have got to catch them all!”
“Yes, my lady!” Artem cried, sounding almost… exhilarated?
Before Regina could reflect on that much more, Artem had grabbed her by the waist and they were gliding as though he had wheels on his feet as well –
Before Regina embarked on the most nerve-wracking ten minutes of her life.
Even with the speed and mobility that Artem’s new wheels gave them, it was a challenge to direct Artem – who could not see clearly with her in the way – toward the orphans and away from chandeliers intent on crushing them.
Regina could practically feel her youth wither away as she barked orders at the obedient Artem to go left or right or forward or back as they raced to save the children before they could be crushed.
Indeed, in between the overwhelming sense of terror punctuated by moments of relief, Regina ended up having a newfound appreciation for Artem, who kept her and the children safe while she screamed directions at him.
Regina had no idea how Artem managed to wheel her, her giant skirt, and the orphans caught in it while also keeping the endless stream of shards from hitting all of them – yet he somehow managed to do so without expending more than a few shaky breaths and drops of sweat.
Even so, Regina knew there was only so much room for them entourage to maneuver in the increasingly crowded common pit… and as she stared up after the latest chandelier, she realized there was still one chandelier dangling above them –
Only on the chandelier but– after all the others had shattered on the floor – only one narrow path to move in as well.
‘If I miscalculate my next move,’ Regina realized, ‘we are all dead.’
That was when Regina realized what she had to do.
“Artem,” she whispered, knowing without looking that her prince was listening. “I need you to go on your knees and pretend you have collapsed – before you ready yourself to push forward.”
Without another word, Artem fell to his knees so loudly she could hear them crack, causing the orphans safe within her skirt to scream.
“Artem!” she cried, not having to fight to sound frantic given all of their lives were on the line. “Please – Artem – you have to rise before –”
Before the final chandelier unhinged itself and began racing toward their heads.
“Move!” Regina cried as soon as she saw it drop – seconds before disaster hit.
Then Regina closed her eyes, and hoped that for once in her life, someone would fulfill her trust.
It would be a very short life otherwise.
Then, to her infinite relief, it appeared her life and trust were not going to be cut short tonight.
For her prince was as swift as he was sweet – and with the speed of a spring breeze, he went from his knees to his feet, pushing himself, Regina, and all the orphans away from the brink of disaster.
Afterward, on shaky knees, she felt Artem slowly turn her around and embrace her, even as the orphans embedded in the walls of her skirt protested.
“Sorry, children,” Regina wearily said. “I would let you out of my skirt but I do not think I can move without dropping dead.”
“I hope,” a wry voice that could only belong to Henrietta said behind her, “that is an exaggeration. Do you have any idea what your parents would do to me if I let you die?”
With a sigh, Henrietta – who had probably hugged a wall far from Regina to stay safe through the turmoil – came forward to help disentangle the orphans, half of whom were crying and the other half of whom were begging Artem and Regina to do it ‘again, again!’
“My princess!” cried Marquess La Belle from the depths of Regina’s skirt – even as Regina almost jumped in shock to realize he had been there all along, apparently lost in the tumult. “You just saved my life – and also, I suppose – some orphans!”
“Erm,” Regina said, completely unprepared to handle accolades as she dealt with the aftermath of an assassination attempt. “You are… welcome?”
“You two truly are the prince and princess of the Carcosan people!” Marquess La Belle cried, his former hauteur no longer apparent as he took a dumbfounded Regina’s hand and kissed it several times. “I pledge my loyalty to you from now on – as do all those who follow me!”
Regina did not even have time to respond before the orphans she and Artem had saved surrounded them both, tugging on her orphan-catching skirt once more.
“Yes!” the little girl with bright purple eyes and braids cried. “Princess, I wish you were our queen!”
“What?” Regina said, still dazed from all that had happened as she stared around her, Artem’s warm arms the only thing keeping her from collapsing. “Why would you…?”
Before Regina could finish her sentence, Artem gently turned her around, though he still held her securely against his chest.
“Look, my sweet sea urchin,” he gently urged her as Regina’s eyes widened at the spectacle before her. “Look at how happy you have made everybody.”
Indeed, though Regina had not realized it before, she saw now that people on every level of the theater were staring down at her with awe and wonder…
…Before they all began clapping and screaming her and Artem’s name.
“They all love you,” Artem happily said, “just as they should.”
“At least,” Henrietta wryly said, “if you do not count the people trying to assassinate you.”
Yet as Regina’s eyes roamed from one face to another in the crowd, she caught on one face that expressed neither happiness or relief or glee at the most entertaining act the theater had ever seen.
That face belonged to Crown Prince Aaron Alpin, who stared at Regina as though he was amazed that she was still standing.