"Worms!" Quaraun gasped.
Unicorn looked to see what Quaraun was looking at.
Worms.
A squirming knot of worms.
Twisting.
Wriggling.
Writhing.
Squirming.
Quaraun stared at the worms, then turned and ran out of the room. Unicorn followed after him and found the Elf vomiting his guts out.
"Hetushki! Oho! Was it the worms or the opium did that to ya?" Unicorn asked as he watched the Elf puke.
"Both," Quaraun gasped as he staggered back to the building. "I don''t like this place."
"Well, it what we gots." Unicorn''s protective hand pulled Quaraun beside him, then pressed the Elf closer. "Ya is so frail of late."
"I''m always frail," Quaraun whimpered. "I''m a weak, cowardly, frail, runt. The Moon Elves were right. I''m pitiful and worthless."
"Fudger Fluffer Nutters. Ya is no worthless. Pitiful, maybe, but never worthless."
"I don''t like it here."
"Well dick brains. Ya wants to keep walking, th''ough dense thunder storm filled forest at night?"
"No. I just wish we weren''t alone in this place."
Just then there was a crackling zap across the ceiling, followed by flashes of lightening blue streaks dancing in the air, followed by a great black hole opening up and a half-Elf, falling, flailing, screaming as he dropped out of the sky and landed on the floor in front of them. The instant he hit the ground, the black hole closed up and vanished as if it had never been there.
"Did ya just grant yarself a wish?" Unicorn asked Quaraun as he watched the whole in the ceiling disappear.
"I don''t know," Quaraun moaned. "My head hurts."
The Moon Elf wizard sat on the ground clutching his head.
"Owwww," the yellow haired Sun Elf moaned as he also held on to his head as if warding off a headache.
"Fuu-uuuck! What was that?" Unicorn stood up and stared at the spot where the hole had been.
GhoulSpawn stood up to answer Unicorn, but immediately fell back down.
"GhoulSpawn''s here," Unicorn said as helped Quaraun back up.
"I can see that. Where the hell did he come from."
"I tinks ya just wished him here."
"Why would I do that?"
"Ya tell me. Ya dids it."
"I didn''t mean to."
"Oh well, moving on.. don''t mind me as I eat de jit..."
"You are not gonna eat him!"
"What the hell? Why not?"
"Because I said so."
Unicorn stood over GhoulSpawn.
"Where did ya come from?!"
Unicorn stared down at the half-Elf sprawled on the floor in front of him.
"Uhm... I... " GhoulSpawn struggled to find words.
"Are you alright," Quaraun asked GhoulSpawn as he helped the dazed Sun Elf to his feet.
"How did that happen?" GhoulSpawn asked as he pushed away from Quaraun and stood with his head tipped back, staring up at the spot in the ceiling where he had just fallen out of.
"I''m not sure"
"Where am I?"
"We don''t seem to know where we are."
The half Sun Elf turned to Quaraun and asked again: "Where am I?"
"I don''t know," Quaraun said, shrugging his shoulders. "We aren''t sure where we are. Which I already said. We were running away from a giant turtle and ended up here."
"Giant tur... What?"
"I''ve had a bad day."
"How did I get here?"
"I don''t know," Quaraun said, "Though I suspect I just wished you here."
"Wished me here?"
"Yeah."
"How?"
"I''m a wish granting wizard."
"I thought you were a Necromancer."
"No. I''m a Di''Jinn. I grant wishes. Even my own. Especially when I''m not expecting to."
"I was... and now I''m... what? ... how...." the dazed and confused half-Elf spun around several times looking at everything and everyone in the room, through his very wide, very frightened lime yellow green eyes. "I didn''t... I wasn''t... This shouldn''t have happened! It''s completely unexpected."
"I always expect the unexpected," Quaraun said. "I''m a DiJinn. You never get what wish for. You always get a version of the wish that you least expect. And so I expect nothing."
Unicorn suddenly slapped Quaraun for no reason.
"Hey! What was that for?"
"Ya was no expecting it."
Quaraun was about to punch Unicorn, but the Phooka wagged a finger in the Elf''s face.
"Uh-uh-uh. I be expecting t''at. I punch harder un faster. Ya''ll be on ground wid bloody nose fore ya get a swing in."
Quaraun put his hand back down,
"Why do you keep doing this to me?"
"I is a Faerie. This what we do."
"And he does this frequently?" ZooLock asked Quaraun, looking at Unicorn.
"Yes. Every damned hour of every damned day, all week long, every month of every year. Faeries are the most annoying creatures there are."
"Then why are you travelling with one."
"It keeps my life being dull. I''m an Elf. I wouldn''t have any excitement in my life if I didn''t have a Faerie pestering me all day long."
In their arguing they had forgotten that the strange half-Elf had just fallen out of the sky.
Again.
For the third time this week.
The room was dark, only a couple of candle lights lit, and GhoulSpawn''s hair was glowing a vivid fluorescent yellow, as were his eyes. It was theIr first time seeing him at night.
"How does ya glow like that?" Unicorn asked.
"What?"
"Ya hair un ya eyes. Ya lighting up the whole entire of room. We can use ya for lamp post!"
GhoulSpawn reached up and put both hands on the top of his head.
"Oh! I forgot about that!"
He closed his eyes and opened them again, this time his eyes were a more normal shade of golden hazelnut flecked with brilliant limeon yellow green, but his hair was still glowing. The demonic Elf twirled his long glowing yellow curls on his finger.
"Why does this always have to happen?" GhoulSpawn moaned as he fussed over his glowing hair. "I can''t fit in with anyone."
"Always remember dat yis absolutely unique. Just like every body else."
"Oh dear!" He muttered as he stared mournfully at the glowing strand of hair wrapped around his finger. "Not much I can do about that. You don''t want me on a stakeout or anywhere you need to hide from a killer. I''m sorry. I glow in the dark. I probably should have mentioned that at some point. Except it didn''t seem relevant and I didn''t think I''d ever see any of you again."
"Well, join the club!" Unicorn laughed, slapping the half Elf on the shoulder. "So does he."
Unicorn pointed to Quaraun.
"What?"
"Him glows in dark."
"Do you?" GhoulSpawn turned and asked Quaraun.
"Yep. Only not just my hair. My whole body. I light up like up a Christmas tree every time it''s a full moon."
"It causing ya both is Space Elves."
"I''m a Moon Elf. It''s why they call us Moon Elves."
"Ah. I''m a Sun Elf. My hair glows at night if I stay out in the sunlight too long during the day. It''s why they call us Sun Elves."If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.
"You''re eyes were glowing too," Quaraun said. "I''ve never seen an Elf with glowing eyes."
"Oh, uhm... that, yes. I''m only a half-Elf."
"I never saw a Human with glowing eyes either."
"Human? I... Uhm... Oh. No. I''m not... I... uhm...Human," GhoulSpawn tried to think of an explanation to why his eyes were glowing. One that didn''t involve him telling strangers he was a Demon. But he couldn''t think of a good lie off the top of his head. Lying wasn''t something GhoulSpawn was good at or used to doing, though he tried to do it frequently. "Elephants..."
"What?"
"You saw a giant turtle? How giant?"
"Big a small mountain. What about elephants?"
"What?"
"You said elephants."
"Did I?"
"Yes."
"Oh. I... Am I standing up?"
"Him is high," Unicorn said to Quaraun.
"Like I was, it looks like," Quaraun agreed.
"Uhm... Oh dear... I don''t know what year it is.." GhoulSpawn mumbled to himself, looking around the room as he did. "What year is it?"
"That''s right. You''re a time traveller. I forget. What year were you in."
"I''m not sure. I... I wasn''t paying attention. There were too many penguins."
Quaraun waited patently for the half-Elf to get his story straight inside his head.
"Humans don''t... no. That won''t work," the half-Elf continued to mutter to himself. "Goldfish. No. That''s not right either. Oh dear."
GhoulSpawn was absolutely terrible at lying. Quaraun smirked as he watched the poor half-Elf try to come up with a lie.
"And," Quaraun said, to farther disrupt the poor half-Elf''s train of thought. "You seem to be able to control it. Humans can''t do that either."
"Control?"
"You''re glowing eyes."
"Glowing... Eyes... Yes. My eyes glow. That''s not right."
"Human eyes don''t glow."
"Humans... can''t..." GhoulSpawn said slowing. "My eyes glow... Humans don''t have ... glowing..."
Quaraun shook his head.
"Oh! I know!" The half Elf exclaimed cheerfully, as he thought of an answer that didn''t involve him admitting to being a Demon. "I''m a Chaos Wizard. We can do that."
"You forgot you was a wizard?" Quaraun asked.
"What? Oh. No.I... It''s...uhmmm..."
"You''re lying to me."
"No I''m not. It''s...it''s... It''s LSD. I''m a bit... High right now. I''m sorry. I can''t... I can''t think well just yet."
"You had to stop, for a few minutes, and think about your answer before answering me."
"No I didn''t."
"It took you three minutes to think up an excuse."
"No it didn''t."
"Aye, it did," Unicorn agreed. "Yis a bad liar."
"I''m sorry," GhoulSpawn muttered.
"For what?" Quaraun asked.
"I don''t know," GhoulSpawn said, shrugging his shoulders. "I''m not... I don''t... people make me nervous. I''m not used to talking. No one ever talks to me. They''re usually too busy kicking me."
"Kicking you?" Quaraun asked, now sounding sympathetic. Having been abused himself growing up, he hated to see anyone else abused. "That''s not right. Who kicks you?"
"Elves. I''m a half-Elf. I''m not a viable member of society. Valuable. I''m not a valuable member of society. I don''t deserve to live."
"It that what the Elves around here tell you?"
"The Sun Elves. Yes. They are High Elves. Highest High Elves on the planet, after the Moon Elves." GhoulSpawn suddenly looked scared. His eyes darted nervously around the room looking for a means of escape. "You''re a Moon Elf."
"I am, but I won''t hurt you. I have nothing against half-Elves. I''m not like other Moon Elves."
"The Sun Elves are dead."
"Are they?"
"I''m the last one."
"You''re a half-Elf."
"I know. I''m unworthy."
"Don''t say that."
"It''s true."
"Your value doesn''t decrease based on someone else''s inability to see your worth."
"No one cares about a half-Elf. The High Elves want us dead, the Wild Elves don''t care about anything at all, Faerie eat us, Humans usher us off into reservations and concentration camps, Demons don''t want..." GhoulSpawn stopped himself before he said too much. "I''m not welcomed anywhere."
"I know the feeling," Quaraun said.
"Do you? You''re a full blooded High Elf from the look of you."
"I am."
"Aren''t you Quaraun the Insane?"
"I am."
"Purest blooded Elf on the planet if the rumours about you are true. You are a result of hundreds of generations of sibling marriages."
"I am. That part of the rumours is true at least. I''m the Elf all other Elves strive to be, blood-line-wise. In every thing else they can''t be as far from like me as possible."
"What do you mean?"
"I''m a Necromancer. I dress like a she-Elf. I murdered my family. I have non-Elf friends. I don''t hate half-Elves. I like getting my ass fucked by male Faeries. Most Elves count those things against me and say it makes me the evilest Elf to ever live. I''m a disgrace to Elfdom. I''m worse than a half-Elf. I''m a waste of a perfect bloodline. Chin up, GhoulSpawn, there''s worse things in life than being born a half-Elf. You could have born a Demon."
GhoulSpawn shuddered at the High Elf''s words.
"But," Quaraun continued. "One can''t help what you are born as. It''s your parents fault, not yours. It''s not like you chose ti be a half-Elf. And who am I to judge? I''ve been judged enough in my life to know how much it hurts to be on the receiving end of that judgement."
"Do you not like Demons?" GhoulSpawn asked.
"Demons? Why do you ask about Demons?"
"You said there was worse things in life to being born a half-Elf. You said I could have been born a Demon. You''re voice was filled with contempt when you said the word Demon."
"Was it?"
"Aye," Unicorn said, agreeing with GhoulSpawn. "It was. One would t''inks from ya tone of voice, ya hated Demons."
Quaraun looked over at ZooLock and sighed.
"No. I don''t hate them," he turned back to GhoulSpawn. "I just having one raising heck in my life right now, so I''m currently annoyed with Demons, is all. I grew up with Demons, you know. Him in particular."
Quaraun tossed a thumb back over his shoulder in ZooLock''s direction.
"He''s in chains," GhoulSpawn said mournfully, as if he expected Quaraun would put him in chains along side of ZooLock.
"Yeah. He is. But only because he kept me in chains for thirty years. I thought he''d like a piece of his own medicine."
"If another Demon were here, would you put him in chains too?"
"No. No reason to. Not unless he gave me a reason to."
"What would be a reason too?"
"Hurt me or someone I love."
"So self defence?"
"Quaraun? Defended himself?" Unicorn laughed for a moment before finishing. "Him kind of person what would defend himself from vultures by passing out un playing dead."
"He''s supposed to be the world''s most powerful wizard."
"Him is, when him stop running from hims own shadow long enough to remember that."
"You describe him like he''s stupid."
"Him too stupid to live. Him world''s stupidest wizard. Him would has died centuries ago if not for me looking out for him. Him ain''t got no brain in him head."
"That''s not a very nice thing to say."
"Why not for, eh?"
"It''s mean."
"It true. Him brain was eat by Thullid years ago."
"Thullid?"
"Aye."
"Thullids are Demons."
"Aye."
"That would make him part Demon."
"Aye."
"Then he''s not a full blooded Elf."
"I was born a full blooded Elf," Quaraun said. "I''m a Thullid now."
GhoulSpawn stared wide eyed at Quaraun.
"Are you? You don''t look it."
"Jelly Thullid, not Squid. I''ll never hatch out of this Elf''s head, like he did out of his Elf''s head." Quaraun again looked in ZooLock''s direction. Then turned back to GhoulSpawn.
"You''re a Thullid?" GhoulSpawn asked again.
"Yes."
"That means you''re not an Elf then, right?"
"Aye," Unicorn answered. "Him gots Jelly in him skull instead of a brain."
GhoulSpawn said nothing more. He had not realized that Quaraun was a Thullid. He wondered what HellBorne would think of this news. He wondered too where HellBorne was and how far away he was from Black Tower just now and how could he escape this place and get back there.
"Techchally that makes me a Demon myself, now. Quaraun the Elf is dead. He''s been dead for a few hundred years now. Quaraun the Thullid, lives on in his place, replicating the Elf''s habits and mannerisms and living inside his hollowed out skull."
"So in a way," GhoulSpawn stated. "You''re a half-Elf, half-Demon?"
"Unfortunately, yes, that would be the case. It is why my father wanted me dead. He suspected, though couldn''t prove I was a half-Elf. And unlike most Thullids, I did not choose to be implanted. I wanted to be set free. I wasn''t given a choice in the matter. My Jelly body was captured by ZooLock here, as was my Elf body. He forced my Jelly body inside of this poor Elf''s brain. Once inside I couldn''t get out. I was faced with starving to death and letting the Elf live, or eating his brain and taking full control of his body in order to stay alive. I chose to live, and so the Elf died and so now I''m a female Demon trapped in the body of a male Elf."
"Female?"
"Yes."
"You''re a female?"
"Yes."
"A female Demon inside the body of a male Elf?"
"Yes."
"Is that why you dress like you do?"
"Yes. Technically I am female, so I dress female."
"But you use male pronouns."
"Yes. The Elf has a male body. Male reproductive organs. Male body parts. I''m a female with a dick. How utterly annoying. He used male pronouns when he was alive. I honor his choice in that by continuing to use male pronouns for him, even though I am myself female."
"That''s very complicated."
"Yes, well, ZooLock could have put me inside a female Elf and made it less confusing for me, but what''s done is done, there''s no changing it now. I''m a female Demon trapped in the body of a male Elf. And nothing I can do about it. It is what it is."
"I thought Thullids could change bodies? Why don''t you just find another Elf to live in?"
"I could have centuries ago, but not now."
"Why not?"
"I was a very small Jelly, small enough to be implanted. Barely an inch across. I''m the size of an apple now, and my tentacles have grown throughout his entire body. I could leave his body, but not without destroying his body and seriously damaging my own body. It would require severing my tentacles and growing back new ones and I''m too large to implant myself into another body anyways, I would require a way to live outside of a host, and on this planet, none has yet been found."
"Didn''t you say he kept you in a bowl of water? Couldn''t you returned to a river or something?"
"No. The water on this planet''s poison to us. The water in the bowl was from my home planet. A planet that now burns in flames. I would quickly die outside of this Elf''s body. I am trapped in this Elf''s body with no hope of freedom."
"I''m sorry."
"There is no need to be sorry. You did nothing. It was ZooLock who took me from my ocean. ZooLock who imprisoned me in the bowl. ZooLock who implanted me in the Elf."
"And that''s why you keep him in chains?"
Quaraun nodded.
"Is that not you doing to him the same thing he did to you?"
"It is."
"Why?"
"He is unaware of the suffering he caused me. Unaware that I once had a family in my home under the sea. A family I''ll never see again. They died centuries ago, along with the rest of the planet."
"Doesn''t that mean ZooLock saved your life?"
"He did. And he did try to let me go free. When the cultists attacked the temple. He fled to the ocean and set me lose, but the water of this planet burned me. I nearly died. He took me back out of the water and tried to ease my pain, but the damage was already done. I was dying. The water was eating my body like acid. He knew the only thing that would heal me, was to be encased in the soft, protective flesh of an Elf''s brain. He implanted me into Quaraun to save my life. We were the last three. Me. My medusa and her servant. Now I''m the last one. There are no more Jellies. Only me and I''m badly damaged. Unicorn is correct. I am very stupid, but I didn''t used to be. That was a side effect of being set free in this planet''s ocean. I''m the Elder Brain that can control them all. Every last one of them. It''s why they fear me. Why some, like ZooLock here, worship me, while others, seek my destruction. But I don''t seek to control them. It''s a power I have but not a desire I want. I only seek to live in peace and be left alone."
"How old are you?"
"The Jelly? Or the Elf?"
"Both."
"The Elf was a baby when he was implanted. BoomFuzzy died three hundred years ago. I think that makes this body around four hundred years old. A frightening thought as Elves, though the longest lived life forms on this planet, still have very short lived lives. In our home waters, we never die. We heal ourselves indefinitely. Chop off a limb, we grow it back. Cut us in half, we become two Jellies. We can live forever. Not so here. We had no measure of time. I don''t know how old I am. I was imprisoned in the bowl for centuries. And I lived in my ocean, for centuries more before. I am many thousands of years old and yet, I am still very young. It will be millenia more before I grow old, though I can not say as much for the body of this Elf. It is easily damaged and not so easily healed. It is frail, unhealthy, and very weak. He is beautiful beyond imagining, but he was born very sick and had I not been implanted in him, he would have died while still a small child. He was born dreadfully ill."
"Is that why you''re so small?"
Quaraun looked down at his tiny Elf body and nodded.
"I do not know what is wrong with him. He did not grow correctly. Other Elves are so much taller. Much bigger. And so much stronger. This body lacks both the size and the strength to survive a physical confrontation with another Elf. Even the she-Elves are bigger and stronger then I am."
"Why don''t you live with Demons?"
"I''m an Elf."
"You''re Demon possessed."
"No I''m not."
"You''re a Demon possessing an Elf''s body."
"Have you seen Demons? The physical forms of most Demons are incompatible to that of an Elf. I could not live with them."
"Have you ever tried?"
"You like Demons."
"What?"
"You keep bringing up Demons."
"I''m sorry."
"Don''t be, just tell me why you like Demons."
"I tend to sympathize with Demons more then I do Elves."
"Why is that?"
"No Demon ever hurt me. I can''t say that for Elves."
"Have you had close enough encounters with Demons to warrant saying that?"
"I lived with Demons growing up."
"Did you?"
"Yes."
"How did you come by that?"
"I... My father... He..."
"He was a sorcerer. You told me that before. Back when you were calling yourself Glinter. And you had that big orange ... Beast."
" My Gremlin?I still have it. I keep it in my pocket."
"You fit THAT in your pocket?"
"They''re bigger on the inside."
"You keep it with the sheep?"
"There are no sheep," GhoulSpawn lied.
"Okay. So how did you who has no sheep stashed in you''re pocket grow up with Demons?"
"I was born in a Hell Dimension. I''m not from here."
"And you''re name is GhoulSpawn."
"Yes."
"A name your Sun Elf family gave you."
"Yes."
"Do you know what it means?"
"I do."
"Spawn of The Ghoul."
"Yes."
Quaraun turned to Unicorn.
"Didn''t you know The Ghoul?"
"The Ghoul? Aye. Him worked for me. Him un Gibedon both."
"This seems to be his son."
"Him were not an Elf."
"I''m a half Elf," GhoulSpawn said.
"Yes, you are," Quaraun agreed. "But neither Humans nor Elves have glowing yellow eyes, you know."
"I know."
Quaraun smiled and nodded and said no more of the matter.