Today was new. Today was different. Today was wonderful.
When I woke up, Gray was gone. There was a dress lying on the foot of the bed. It was the most modest dress that I had been offered since being here.
It was purple and went down to my knees. It had ''off the shoulder'' sleeves and was lacy and frilly. I loved it.
I went to the bathroom and put it on. It was a perfect fit. It fit loosely on me around the hips, but other than that it was perfect. I went back into the room and headed for the door.
On the door was a sign that said, ''follow the rose petals.'' I thought to myself, ''could he be any more cheezy than that?''
Nevertheless, I opened the door and followed the rose petals.
They led down the hall and to the door to the staircase. The security code was on the door. ''01-26-28''. I typed it in and opened it. I made a note to myself to remember that.
I continued down the stairs, following the rose petals. They led down to the first floor. I opened the door to the first floor and stepped out into the hallway. The petals led to the hall down to the right- passed my old bedroom.
I obediently followed the petals that stopped at the end of the hall. It ended at a three-way intersection, which allowed me to continue behind me, to the left, or the right.
I looked to my right and saw nothing but darkness. I looked to the left, and there he stood. The love of my life standing to my left in a nice tux.
He got down on one knee, and my heart stopped. I was light-headed all of a sudden. I couldn''t breathe.
I should have expected this because of yesterday. I had basically begged him for this, but I didn''t know how heart-stoppingly beautiful it would be.
I stepped towards him, and he brought out the ring. It was gorgeous. It was gold with a diamond baguette pattern, and I loved it.
I nodded, but I knew that wasn''t enough. I couldn''t find my words, so nodding was all I could manage.
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He slipped the ring onto my left hand, and that sealed the promise. The first promise I have believed in since I was sent to the asylum.
I didn''t notice when he stood up. I was distracted by the flush of memories.
I didn''t notice when he hugged me until he kissed me. The flashbacks went away during that kiss.
They went away because he distracted me. His scent, his breathes, his everything, distracted me.
It was a relief that I could be distracted so easily because if I couldn''t, I would''ve already been crying.
I hate crying. Crying takes too much energy, and if I use up my strength, I won''t be able to use my powers.
I thought about all this while he kissed me with a heated passion. I kissed him back with equal hunger.
The tension was too much for the public, so I was thoroughly shocked when I heard applause.
I reluctantly broke apart from the kiss and looked in the direction that the applause was coming from.
The rebels were clapping excessively, and heat flushed my entire face.
I froze. I didn''t know why they were clapping and cheering. I didn''t know why everything was foggy.
Everything was Gray. I was Gray. Gray. He was dream walking-it''s all a dream.
All of the beautiful notes and rose petals-even the kiss- was all a dream.
Everything disappeared except for Gray and me. It faded from the hallway to blank white walls.
Gray walks forward and I back away. I was angry at him. He promised me something so important and treated it as a game.
I couldn''t look at him. I was furious. He did something so cruel and now wanted to comfort me.
How dare he. How dare he think that I would be okay with this manipulation of my dreams.
I am hurt, offended, angry. I am frustrated, agitated, and all the ated.
He used my dreams to create the perfect proposal. He used my dreams to make a promise.
It was all a lie. He lied to me, and now he is saying my name. He is begging me to calm down, but I can''t. He lied, and he knew it was wrong.
I swung at him as he tried to come closer. I cried out for him to wake me up.
I couldn''t stand him anymore. I hated him for this betrayal. I hated him for this manipulation of my heart.
I woke up with sweat dripping in places where sweat shouldn''t be. I was breathing heavily, my pulse was racing.
Objects were floating around me, and Gray was beside me-sleeping.
I scurried out of bed, away from him. I was fuming with rage. I knew that I needed to calm down. I knew that right now was the time to calm down because I would hurt someone or break something if I didn''t.
I didn''t want another death on my hands. There was enough blood on my hands as it is.
I couldn''t cool off. I was too angry, and the fact that Gray was right there, still sleeping, did not help the fact.
Then he woke up and the fear in his eyes showed that I was genuinely scary. I calmed because of the fear on his face.
I was confused because I had never felt like this before.
I was furious, and then the fear that I saw in someone else''s eyes scared me so much that I calmed.
I was scared of myself. I had all this rage, and it scared me. I could turn into a monster fueled with anger, and I wouldn''t even recognise myself.
The objects around me dropped to the floor. I fell down with them. I know what I said about crying, but I needed to cry out my anger.
Gray was coming over to me. He got off the bed and bent down in front of me.
He brushed my hair out of my face, and I flinched away. He grabbed my face between his hands and made me look at him.
I reluctantly opened my eyes, and he apologised. He apologised and kissed me.
I tried to push him away. I was angry at myself. I didn''t deserve the feel of his lips on mine. I didn''t deserve him in general.
It is moments like these that make me wish I was back in my cell, back in the asylum by myself dreaming of my fantasy worlds.
I wish I was still sitting on my bed in my cell without the windows. I wish I was still going slowly insane in that place.
I want to be alone by myself without Gray.
I think this to myself as I fall asleep in his arms.