Chapter 1: Gunz, Trolls, and Prison Time._Glacierwaif Act 1: Homefront

First day Ever After training!

 Hello, my name is Runt. That isn''t my name, because War Boys don''t get no names. So I''m Number One Four Seven of Delta Platoon. Boss-men call us Pygmy Trolls- Domestically Raised, Vat Grown. Ever''one else calls us War Boys. But everyone just calls me Runt, ''cuz I''m small. So my name''s Runt. Runt is not allowed to write, so I''m not writing. This is a numbers book, to keep records (hehe). Like was said before, Runt is part of Delta Platoon. But Delta platoon doesn''t like Runt because he is small. Was traded many times for bigger, stronger War Boys. So Runt gets lonely because he doesn''t get to meet people for long. Delta platoon is stuck with me until some other platoon wants me. Platoon leader Gratch wants me on stilts and to wear big clothes when ever I''m offered to trade; but small is small, stilts or no stilts.

 Runt is part of The

 Hold on, Runt has a hard time spellin this big words. He is part of

 D a s t a r d l y D a r k E m p i r e of E v i l B a s t a r d s.

 Empire is biiiig. Has many platoons like ours. It has a big scary tower at the center, called the Dark Tower of Amin Omenisness Ominousness. Runt finished training yesterday. Went to see Dark Tower of Ominousness, ''cuz we finished training, and training is special. Tower of Ominousness is special also, makes sense I guess. So we went to the Big Dark Tower of Ominousness, and we put our hands on our chest and we all said the Warboy Promise together. The Promise goes like this:

 I''m A warboy of Megacorp, and I am a tool

 I am made for fighting, ''cuz fightin'' is what warboys do

 Nobody gets to make others give ''em their stuff

 No matter their name, pay, no matter how tuff

 Nobody gets to hit, shoot, stab another

 Unless they bein'' hit, shot, or stabbed by others

 And warboys is always here to make sure this is true

 So make sure if you want stuff you work your due

 cuz if you steal it or shoot them and loot

 Warboys will come to give you the boot

 Strangers and Friends and family all follow the rules

 we don''t decide who to shoot cuz in the end we''re just tools

 You can be nicety nice and thats just cool

 Or you can be mean and nasty and cruel

 But if you start shootin and hittin and breaken the rules

 Then something needs fixing, and we are the tools

 I''m happy that I get a special book. Writing is fun. Book is like a spirit, that can tell others what Runt wants you to hear even though he is not there to tell it. Gratch thinks writing is stupid, so he never learned how. Gives book to me because I''m the only one in the whole platoon who thinks books are special. Gives it to me in front of everyone. Runt wanted other job, job as wrencher where I would fix things. But bigger War Boys get better jobs first, and Runt is small so he gets writing job (called “record keeper”). Platoon laughed, said I was dumb. Small and dumb Runt, gonna get shot first and die fast.

 I gotta put ma'' book down now because something weird is happenin'' and Runt wants to see what''s up.

 later 

 GRRR! Stupid Platoon! We be getting our gunz today, but nobody tell me! I see a Warboy from Runt''s platoon walkin'' round with a brand new gun and I thought this was strange. Then Runt sees another warboy from my platoon walking around with a brand new gun and I thinks "huh, this is not normal." Then another warboy from my platoon be walking around with a brand new gun and I think "okie, I better be checking this out" and I put down ma'' book and ax''d the nearest Warboy "hey, why everybody be walkin'' round with brand new gunz?" He says "you dumb? We ALL be getting new gunz today! They be handing them out near the barracks! You better run and get yours before they run out!"

 And so I run over to the barracks and platoon leader Gratch is handing out gunz to the whole platoon! There be a huge crowd around Gratch and I can''t get nowhere close! I have to wait and wait and wait before I get ma'' gun! By the time I get to Gratch, all the best gunz be gone and Runt is stuck with small, wimpy, one handed gun. Small gun no good. Doesn''t even shoot right! Runt pulls trigger and gun shoots once! Once! If you want more bullets, you have to pull trigger more times! Runt has to go to special gun range, get good at shooting, otherwise I be dead.

 Gratch is biggest, gets first pick out of the big box of gunz, and gets huge gun! Gratch''s gun is super special, has three barrels that spin round and fire REALLY fast. It holds many bullets in a backpack, so it never goes empty. Runt is mega jealous. We need guns to fight the Nation of Good Guys and Heroes. But people in the Nation of Good Guys aren''t nice, they are super mean! They shoot at us, and bullets hurt! We get guns to shoot back, because shooting folks who is shooting at you is just sense.

 First day in Drills

 Hello, sun is up! Am back, though never went anywhere. Today we get

 Later

 Back again. Went to drill. Gratch was angry and it was hard. Was so angry, he slapped my record book on the ground. Runt wasn''t able to get near it ''till after we was done. We worked all day in da heat, running and jumping and firing and running again. Boss-man showed up and got angry, because Gratch didn''t have his special gun. Gratch had to go aaall the way back to barracks to get it. He was very angry then. He looked like he hurt, but he didn''t get in a fight or nothing so I don''t know why he hurts.

 Went to the range and spent Funds on extra bullets. I shoot all of them, but I don''t feel better at shooting. Time to eat, don''t want food in book. Books don''t eat food, they don''t get along.

 Third day in drills.

 Gratch showed up to drill with out his gun today again! Can''t believe it, if I had a super special awesome gun like that I wouldn''t leave it ANYWHERE! I''d take it with me everywhere I went. When folks asked him where his gun went, he was angrier then ever. But then a boss-man told him he HAD to have the gun with him in drill. Gratch looked like he was gonna be sick, told boss man that he didn''t need the gun ''cuz he already knew how to shoot. Boss-man slapped Gratch. I was near when the slapping happened, and I laughed. Gratch looked like he was gonna kill me, but couldn''t help it ''cuz it was just so funny. I never seen nobody slap Gratch before! Is like a death wish. But Gratch was slapped and it was funny and I laughed and now Gratch is gonna get me with something for sure.

 Sixth day: Day off.

 Day off!!! Runt is happy, gonna spend some happy time in the nicety-nice sunshine today and go to the range and shoot lotsa bullets!

 Later:

 Met super nice Warboy today. He had this looong gun that could shoot ultra far. He told me all about my super small, wimpy gun. It''s supposed to be a Back Up gun. Like, you''re supposed to have this other, bigger gun. And only if bigger gun gets broken or lost or something you switch to small, wimpy gun.

 He ax''ed me where my bigger gun was and I said I didn''t have a bigger gun. He gave me this look that says I am crazy. I told him I am small. He understood everything right away, then. Helped me with shooting practice and I am shooting much better now. Every night I am also supposed to practice a “draw” which is pulling a small gun out really fast.

 He also knows how to Read!!! I showed him my book, and told me to put numbers in it so other War Boys can know the time and day and month which each “entry” was written on. Super cool idea, I will start adding those! But Runt is not good with numbers, so he will have to ax folks the numbers. Numbers is dumb.

 Since Lone Ranga is super nice, I asked him what platoon he is part of. He is part of Omega Platoon, and I will send letters.

 May 15

 Quarter master Noog gave me only half rations today. I asks why, and he says I''m only half the size, so I only get half as much food. Noog is good friends with Gratch.

 Lesson learned: don''t laugh if you can help it! Not that I could help it; said this earlier. We marched for four hours today, and it was hot. We keep training because in two months, we will get on a copta and go to the Fight. Ever''body cheers when Gratch says this, but I get dizzy. The Fight is bad. Like, the Good Guys shoot at you, and it hurts, and the Good Guys always win. Always. The moovies say so.

 May 18

 Pay master Grog told me today that Gratch is telling paymaster to pay him my funds, and that he''ll get the funds to me right away. I told paymaster he was lying! Paymaster nod like he knew this, told me I should watch out. I always scared of the pay master ''cuz paymaster is even bigger than Gratch, and is looking mean all the time. But he is nice, just real real quiet. Too bad he is not in our platoon, I bet he would keep Gratch in line.

 May 23

 Lone Ranga is telling me that I need to know my gun. Has a wrencher show me how to take apart my gun. Is super simple, fires six rounds before a reload. Lone Ranga tells me I should be able to take apart my gun and put it all together again it in the time it takes to visit the poop room, even in the dark and even if I got one hand nailed to my eye.

 I''m gonna go to Bravo Platoon''s quarter master ''cuz their quarter master not a stupid friend of Gratch. I order a special gun. Still small and wimpy, but fires three rounds in one trigger pull. Fifteen rounds per reload. I pay money for it, and gonna turn in my gun for that one.

 Lone Ranga says more bullets not always better, but he is wrong! More bullets always better.

 May 25

 Stolen! All my money is gone and I am in the hospital! Five War Boys: Bane, Tag, Harts, and Twenny all came and ax''d me if I had my funds. I told them I had my funds because it was just payday. They said that they were all out of funds. They prolly were, they play games with dice and lose all their funds. Or they spend them on smokes. Smokes are nasty, smell like burning tar lit on fire! I no like them, don''t see how anyone can like them!

 They ax''d me if I could loan them my funds and I said no because they never give it back. They beat me, they beat me bad. Funds are gone. This is bad. I might never get a pay check again without getting beat up and stole from.

 Bonesaw is reporting this to Gratch. Like he didn''t tell ''em to do it in the first place.

 P.S. I said there were five War Boys. And I am right because Gratch told them to do it.

 I know it. At least I still have my gun to finish paying for the new gun I get.

 Later:

 A boss man came ''round askin'' bout the beating. Had lots of questions for Runt. Runt answers all questions, best he can.

 May 26Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

 Got all m'' funds back today! Ultra cool Boss man did mega nice thing for Runt and make sure Runt get all his money back! Says it won''t happen again, said Bane, Tag, Harts, & Twenny all getting'' punished for the beating.

 I ax''d bout Gratch. Boss man not understand Gratch did it, even though Gratch was not there to do it. I told him about the slapping and the laughing and Gratch-gonna-kill-ya Look. I told him about Quarter Master Noog''s new rations for Runt. He said he would “keep an eye on it.”

 I thought about this, and then ax''d him if he would need tape for that. He did not understand. I said “eyes is round, roll off if you set them on somebody.” Boss man shook his head, said no.

 Boss man is ultra cool and mega nice, but Runt not think he is very smart.

 June 1:

 Is outta the hospital! Is happy bout this, hospitals is boring and hurts and is fulla needles always pokin'' all the time. Runt don''t see how nobody get better in hospitals when they hurt so much.

 Runt felt so good ''bout this, he felt like dancin''. Never danced before, so had to make up special dance just for now. I callin'' it the Happy Dance. In order to do the Happy dance, here is what you do:

 1.) Put both hands in the air like you is holdin'' a gun (a big, two fist gun, not like Runt''s small wimpy one) above your head.

 2.) Close hands till they all fisty and bring um down and up real fast like you be poundin'' a table.

 3.) While poundin'' the invisible table, you stomp feet real hard! One foot or both feet, not matter much.

 And that is how you does the Happy dance.

 June 4:

 Got new gun today! Traded in old one and got it and went to the range with it. New wimpy gun even got an arm on it''s butt so you can put your shoulder into it and aim real well. I go to the range and even saw Lone Ranga there with his long gun. He is real cool with that gun, shootin'' super far and hittin'' everything he wants! I be jealous, I wanna be that cool.

 I went to some of the Wrenchers and got them to show me how to take the new gun all apart and put it all back together again. Now I gotta practice and keep practicin'' till I can do it real fast with my eyes closed.

 June 5:

 Runt not like this. Lotsa Choppa copta''s come in today with lotsa Hurt Boys from The Fight. Gratch tell me that they need more War Boys to help with all the Hurt Boys. He sends me. Runt not like bein'' with Hurt Boys. Some of ''em missin'' whole arms or legs. They make him scared. Make him think of goin'' to the Fight, make him think of missin'' arms & legs or getting turned to red pulp. He not like bein'' with Hurt Boys, not like talkin'' with Hurt Boys, not even like lookin'' at Hurt Boys! Why Gratch gotta be so mean?

 Later:

 Went to the hospital and do what the Gray Guys tell me to do. This mostly is just carryin'' stretchers off the Choppa Copta''s and into the cutting room where Grey Guys try to & help War Boys by cuttin'' um up. Is scary! Boss men say War Boys is asleep and can''t feel nothin'', Runt still never want to be in the cutting room when they be cuttin''.

 Other times Runt just sit and hold an ivy bag for Hurt Boys. Is boring job, and arms get tired real fast, but still better than bein'' in the cuttin'' room. Met funny Hurt Boy named Joker, who had a red dot on his tummy from where Good Boys shot him. Joker be joking and laughing whole time, even when it made him hurt more! I ax''d him how he bein so funny even when he hurt. He say laughin'' is better''n cryin, hurt or not hurt.

 Runt agrees, still not see how Joker can do it. But he made me laugh lots, and I forget all about The Fight even though Hurt Boys be all around me. I think I''m gonna make Joker a friend.

 The Hurt Boys tell us that Good Guys be pretending to be Boss Men so they can get into the Dastardly Dark Empire and shoot the smarter Boss Men so us War Boys don''t fight so well. I am not knowing if this be true or not. Hurt Boys say a lotta things when they come back, doesn''t mean it''s true though!

 June 5:

 Guess Hurt Boys tellin'' the truth because Gratch called all the Delta War Boys together and told us how we would be usin'' a new thing called “promt words” and “pass words”. Pass word usin'' goes like this: when you on guard duty and a Boss Man wants to get into the base, you say a special set a words called Promt Words: like “Eany Meany Miney”. And if they say “Moe” they is a friend. If they say somethin'' else like “what?” or “huh?”, they not Boss Men at all, and need to get stopped! We be usin'' a new pass word every night so Good Guys can''t sneak in. Gratch tell me in front of ever''body that I can''t write down the Pass Words. I wasn''t gonna, but he make me feel dumb all the same.

 We also got told that if we see a Boss Man suddenly start fightin'' War Boys or other Boss Men, he ain''t a Boss Man, he is a Good Guy and needs to be shot. I knew that already! Is there War Boys who don''t know? Must be, ''cuz they wouldn''t be tellin'' us if not!

 June 15:

 SO HAPPY!!! Runt is outta prison and he ain''t gonna get gassed and he ain''t gonna die and Runt is SUPER HAPPY!!! Runt is was cryin'' tears of happiness when he found out! Need to tell you all that happened, and is gonna take me lotsa writing to do it.

 Runt was told one mornin'' how he was gonna ''escort'' a Boss Man around the Base. He does it with three other War Boys. And we start followin'' him ''round while this other Boss Man tells him all about the Fight and how it be goin'' and what needs to get done and lotsa borin'' stuff. I was right behind him “taking notes” with another writin'' book. I was writin'' somethin'' down when they stop. I don''t see that they stop because I be writin'' in ma'' book ''cuz I''m the only War Boy in Delta Platoon that can write. I run into the Boss Man we be escorting. He turns around and asks me what is wrong with me. I say I is writin'' in ma'' book ''cuz he told me to. Boss man yells “DON''T GET SMART WITH ME!!!” and hits Runt.

 Runt was told about this! He be told about Good Guys pretending to be Boss Men and how they start fightin'' and how War Boys need to shoot ''em when it happens! But I been writin, and I don''t even have my super small super wimpy gun! So I take out ma'' Knife and start makin'' red lines on him by pokin'' him and cuttin'' him and I be yellin'' whole time “GOOD GUY!!! HE NOT A BOSS MAN, HE A GOOD GUY!!! GET HIM!!!”

 Suddenly, Gratch is pullin'' me offa Good Guy and I got ma'' knife pulled away and Good Guy is saying I should be killed! So Gratch take me away and throw me in Jail!!!

 I in jail and all I can hear in my head is the Good Guy tellin'' them “He needs to be shot! Needs to be killed!” I think about this again and again, and when I start crying I still can''t stop thinking about it. Pound on Jail door long and loud and tellin'' them it be a Good Guy, how Runt is just doin'' as he was told. Telling them “please don''t kill Runt! Please! Just be doin his job! RUNT IS SORRY!” I keep tellin'' them, but nobody listen! Runt was so scared! Runt be scared and cryin'' and more scared for lotsa days and spent nights crying about how he was gonna get shot and die!

 Then one day door opens up and a super scary Boss Man walks into the room. He got a gas mask and talks real quiet in a super creepy way. He breathes mega loud, and only says a few words at a time. Runt starts cryin'' again because he is thinking “This is it! Gonna get shot and die!” but Boss Man is super nice to me and hugs me and waits ''till I stop crying. Then he asks about what happened. I tell him everything I did and tell him I am super sorry and how I never gonna hurt nobody ever again. He then tells me I did everything right! That is was Gratch and other Boss Men who were wrong! He tells me he gonna get everything sorted out. He starts to leave, but I still scared so I grab his leg and tell him “don''t leave!”

 And so he takes me by the hand and tells the guard to open the door. Guard tells him I can''t leave. Nice Boss Man just looks at guard and says real slow that we are leaving, that if the guard has a problem with it, he can shoot us. He takes me by the hand and we walk away. We don''t get shot.

 And so he takes me back to the barracks and says “wait here”. Soon I get a group of Warboys come to ma room to follow me around and make sure I don''t do nothing wrong. So I ask Warboys about where ma'' book went and here I am! Is so happy that I don''t think nobody has ever been this happy before me.

 June 16:

 Runt is under guard while the boss men yelling at each other in the Wood Room. Wood Room is where Boss men yell at each other, telling each other which Boss Man be right while which Boss Man be wrong. Boss man with a black coat and a shiny little wooden hammer decides after all the yelling be done. Don''t see why they can''t just skip all the yelling and have him decide who be right or wrong sooner. Boss men go in there for days yellin'' at each other.

 Runt is under guard. Got three Warboys I don''t know from Omega Platoon sitting outside my room. When I need to eat, they bring me food. When I need to whiz or poop, they take me to the Poop room. Runt is not allowed to leave unless the three guards are with me. Is mega boring in here.

 The other warboys are super jealous of me because I got to meet Raspy, who is the Boss Man who saved Runt. Raspy is a really cool Boss Man who is always checking to make sure War Boys alright, that war boys always be getting'' what they be needin''. I need to thank him some how. He really likes Runt. Says I am “bright” and “sharp”. I dunno if he means I am shiny. I don''t seem shiny to me. I am definitely not sharp. Woulda cut myself on myself if I was sharp. Especially when sleepin''.

 Later:

 Raspy came by to check on ma book. Says it is really interesting to read something written by a War Boy. I was thinkin'' something be wrong because if Good Guy was really a Good Guy then everybody pat Runt on the back and say “nice job”. So I ax''d Raspy why Boss men be yellin'' at each other in the Wood Room about why Runt hurt a Good Guy. He says again that I am really “bright”. Means Runt is really smart.

 He also said that the Good Guy really was a Boss Man. But it ain''t Runt''s fault, ''cuz Runt was told Good Guys be pretending to be Boss Men. He goes to the wood room talk at the other Boss Men a lot. He tries to make them see it is not Runt''s fault. The Boss man that Runt hurt has told another Boss Man to go to the Wood Room to yell that drawin'' red lines on a Boss Man is Runt''s fault.

 June 20:

 Boring days is over! Runt is free again! Did the Happy Dance right outside ma room. Raspy has made the the Boss Men think that it is not my fault. Raspy says it is an “open and shut case”, mean it was super simple and really fast. I told him he be lyin''. Four days not be fast. Runt don''t care what Raspy says, even if he is a Boss Man and even if he be super special. Fast be soon. Fast be quick. Fast be only enough heartbeats to count on one hand. Four days is not fast.

 Raspy wants to write something here in my book. I will let him do that now.

 This is Megacorp Chief Operator to report that PT-DRVG Trooper: Delta 147 is to be awarded a special citation for quick, cunning, and decisive action under unusual circumstances leading to a Red-on-red contact incident (friendly fire).

 Delta 147 was told that enemy insurgent forces had been using disguises to infiltrate our ranks. The next day, a commissioner by the name of Gordon Humphrey deliberately and without warning proceeded to attack Unit 147, engaging him in unarmed combat. After being briefed on enemy actions in the area and holding mission critical information, Unit 147 reacted precisely as needed in the given situation. He diligently and bravely proceeded to pull out the first weapon available to him and managed to land several hits on commissioner Gordon Humphrey while simultaneously calling for an alarm to alert the base. He was then erroneously pulled off by Unit Delta 263 and unjustly detained for his actions and had psychological punishment heaped upon him when he was told that he was going to be shot or gassed for his actions.

 The commissioner that Unit 147 assaulted was fully aware of enemy movements in the last few weeks and, forgetting himself, decided to engage the troll in a physical altercation. Not only is this a gross breach of procedure and negligence of duty, but also an act of stupidity that goes beyond comprehension. Even had enemy forces not used unconventional tactics recently, the act of hitting a PT-DRVG Trooper requires a special lack of intellect.

 The PT-DRVG Trooper is a biological automaton made for exactly one function and one function only: To wage war. They are not pets, bus boys, servants, porters, or any other peon meant to be carelessly abused or mistreated. They are living weapons; designed to kill things, pure and simple. To slap a PT-DRVG Trooper would be to kick an attack dog, or to jab a war elephant in the eye. Anybody with an ounce of sense generally takes great care to avoid doing either of these things.

 The commissioner''s lawyer eventually conceded that it was “the deepest tragedy” that Unit 147 decided to act as he did. The only “tragedy” in this officer''s eyes is the fact that Runt was unable to access his service weapon (which he was ordered to leave at the Barracks) at the time of the altercation, forcing to make use of his combat knife.

 To be perfectly clear: Delta 147 was not only correct in his course of action, but shows remarkable cognitive function for a vat-grown troll. In any other situation, the action''s could have saved the entire platoon from enemy infiltration and sabotage.

 Raspy all finished writin'' now. Goo''bye! I is all finished writing for now too. Gonna go to bed and get sleep because I spent the whole day runnin'' & jumpin'' & climbin'' in the hot sun. Also went shootin'', but I did not see Lone Ranga.

 BONUS CONTENT: Clarice Applebye''s Anneversery address from the United Nation of Good Guys and Heroes.

 Hello again, dear revolutionaries, it is I, your Prime Minister, Clarice. I was deeply worried that I might not have time for this speech because of the many things heaped upon our plate. But tonight is the Anniversary of the Revolution, and I just knew that I couldn''t leave all my dearest children without some words of encouragement and praise for all their hard work in supporting the Party. Please, stand up and give me a round of applause for all the Workers and their families who have made advancement of the Revolution possible.

 {Pauses for applause.}

 I am proud to report that the larceny of the Corporate Pigs is at an all time low. Workers of the Labor Union are able to engage in the Sharing & Caring program without fear that they will be gouged by some fat, fraudulent Free-Trade advocate interested in lining his pockets with The People''s hard earned fruits. The Special Tasks Police have made fewer arrests this year, pointing to a general decrease in Larceny overall. I want to give our officers a personal note of thanks to making our society a more open and understanding one; sensitive to the needs of the poor.

 The Department of Free Land and Agriculture has reported almost no resistance from the wealthy Lord''s of Manor when it went to process land for the Collective Sharing Program. This means, of course, that they have either been driven out in fear of the power of the People''s love and determination to share with those less wealthy, or even better have at last seen the enlightenment of the Party. The borders of our Brave New Nation have grown once again, as more and more people realize the superiority of our methods.

 The Society for Cultural Enlightenment and Improvement has told me that the enrollment age limit has been dropped from 12 to 6 years of age. This means that your children can begin learning, earlier and at a more crucial developmental stage, the value of working not for himself; but the betterment of society as a whole. I am especially proud of this accomplishment, and I am bashful to say that little old Clarice was the one to put forward the idea. I had no idea that you all would be so eager to adopt and place your children- Nay, our children, into my care so that we can molding and shaping their young, bright minds. Together, you and me, we can begin teaching these young people the value of a sensitive and giving society. Together. Doesn''t the word in itself sound so beautiful? Have you ever heard of a more wonderful idea? {More applause}

 Now, I would love to continue on this heart-warming topic, but I must say with a heavy heart that we are not out of the woods yet. There have been whispers of Anti-party activity in basements and shady alleys. Vile lies made out of fear and hate about the Party. These lies include the absolutely preposterous idea that certain people accused of intolerance and war-hawking are not receiving a fair trial. This idea is ludicrous. The Party firmly believes all people should get a fair trial, no matter how heinous the crimes. I can only imagine this is the work of the bourgeoisie spreading lies of our new discreet court system, which is not broadcast or relayed to media sources for the sake of the accused, that he may not be embarrassed. But rest assured, dear revolutionaries, that just because you cannot see the trials does not mean that they are not taking place. There they are properly judged and then, if they have indeed committed crimes, they may be taken to a facility where they can undergo corrective therapy.

 I am also sure that you have heard about the current scandal involving our very own Mr. Acker making a comment on television that some people maybe should be exempt from our Weapons Restrictions. Now let me make it very clear that I do not agree with Mr. Acker''s assessment in any way. Firearms are evil objects in and of themselves. They are evil and corrupt weak minds to do evil simply by being held in one''s hand. I would have to say that I wish we could get away with not making firearms at all, and that all people could live peacefully. Alas, this is not the case. Unless properly trained by the Party to resist the dark temptations created by a firearm to do violence, anybody who touches one will inevitably begin to spread a message of intolerance, hate, and bloodshed before being corrupted to the fullest and engaging in a murderous rampage.

 In fact, I am absolutely convinced that the distilled darkness from firearms is what the Evil Empire uses to create it''s vile “War Boys”, converting people from reasonable, compassionate beings of warmth and love into cold-blooded baby killers. Let me say it one last time for those who aren''t getting the picture: Firearms are banned for anybody not specifically approved by the Party to carry one. This is for your safety and protection.

MillionNovel

Chapter 1: Gunz, Trolls, and Prison Time.