The slide between floors was extra twisty this time, going on so long that I lost the adrenaline rush of falling and was now just zooming along behind Cole who couldn''t stop giggling like he was having the time of his life. I shook my head.  He really was an odd duck, but I might be even odder for actually following him.


    While it would be great to have a reliable source of milk for the cafe, going to floor 38 on what felt like a whim might be pushing it a bit too far.  I didn''t even have a plan, let alone any idea what to expect besides goats.  Cole had just sounded so confident, but the longer this slide went on, the more worried I got.


    Were adventurers even supposed to be able to skip floors like this?  If we could, why hadn''t Fiona tried it before?  As far as I knew, she''d been powering through each floor in perfect order.  So how could Cole bring me along like it was nothing?


    A door opened and we shot out into the foggy air of a new dungeon floor.  My heart pounded as a rocky cliffside got closer and closer.  I clamped down on the scream trying to escape.  Last time this happened, a giant slime had broken my fall, but there was nothing but golden grass below us now.


    Golden grass and goats.


    Massive goats that got bigger and bigger as we fell.  My chest tightened and I squeezed my eyes closed.  I should have cooked a feast for goats this size instead of just the odds and ends I had in my inventory.  What did goats even like to eat?  Grass?  Hay?  If Cole hadn''t actually tamed these goats like he''d implied, then this was all going to go horribly wrong...


    "It''s fine!" Cole called out as he took my hand, obviously misunderstanding my worry.  "The Dungeon would never let you fall."


    His skin was smooth against mine as he pulled me to him.  Time seemed to slow down as I opened my eyes, seeing nothing but his innocent little grin.  He was so full of life and excitement, like everything was a fun new experience.  Time might not have been slowing for real, but our descent sure was as we gracefully landed in golden grass that came up to my waist.


    "See?  Nothing to worry about."  He squeezed my hand before letting it go and turning to the biggest goat in the area who towered over us by a good ten feet at least.  "Hello, friend."


    The goat''s shaggy fur was a mix of dark brown and cream, with a shimmer of gold when it caught the light just right.  His massive horns curled behind his head, etched with cracks of golden light that pulsed faintly, like a majestic power that was too much for the goat to fully contain.  When he moved, the light seemed to ripple, casting faint patterns on the jagged cliffsides that stretched high to the sky around us.


    The goat''s eyes had that same golden glow, piercing and regal, as if daring us to challenge him.  He stood motionless, an unyielding force of nature that was just waiting for us to make the first move.


    I gulped, resisting the urge to step back.  Or bow.  This goat gave off the aura of a primal nature god, so falling to the ground and begging forgiveness for intruding on his domain felt like the appropriate answer here.


    Too bad Cole was already rushing towards him, a big goofy smile on his face.  "How have you been, old friend?  It''s been ages since we had a good chat."


    The goat lowered his head, eyes narrowing as his hooves scraped big ruts in the ground.  This time I did back up.  No milk was worth facing off against that beast at my low level of 5.


    "Maybe we should go..."


    "No way, we haven''t even gotten the milk yet."  Cole scoffed.  "Heliandor and I go way back, it''s fine."


    Cole seemed nice enough, but I''d just met him and this whole plan, if you could even call it that, seemed pretty foolhardy.  I glanced at his level, once again seeing the ??? that gave me no information at all.  The goat''s level shone bright: Level 39 Solhorn Goat.


    Something bumped against my leg and I jerked away, yelping.  A tiny goat gnawed on my apron, digging around in the pockets like they were full of treats.  The goat pulled out a sprig of thyme, chewing it before bleating softly.


    This had to be fate: we''d come here for a goat and within moments, one had literally bumped right into me.  Her fur was light yellow, as if it hadn''t grown into the warm golden brown hues of the other goats yet. I carefully patted her on the head, avoiding the adorably tiny horns poking out of her fur.


    "Hello there," I whispered, "aren''t you an adorable little goat?"  She bumped against my leg again, chewing on my apron like it would be just as tasty as the thyme.  I stuffed my hands in my pockets, but they were empty. "Sorry, that''s all I had."


    As the little goat hunted for more treats, the eerie bleating of dozens of other goats carried on the wind like a song coming from all directions.  The cliffs loomed over me with glints of golden eyes sparking in their shadows.  This one little goat was fine, but dozens of others?


    Cole was still chatting with the one he''d called Heliandor.  "So, after hearing all that, you see why I need to borrow a goat, right?  Her food is just amazing!  And I promise we''ll take good care of any goat you give us."The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.


    Could Heliandor actually understand Cole?  If it was as easy as asking for a milking goat, then there was no reason to worry.  Except, the giant Solhorn was lowering his head and rushing forward.  If he did understand, his answer was obviously no.


    "Get out of there!" I shouted, but it was too late.


    Heliandor headbutted Cole with those terrifying horns of his.  I gasped as Cole flew through the air, collapsing in the tall grass.


    I wanted to rush to check on him, but my legs were shaking as the Solhorn turned his golden gaze on me.  Power rolled off the goat in waves, making me shiver as the others climbed down the rocks to join their master.


    "I''m fine!" Cole shouted as he sat up, brushing grass off his clothes like getting headbutted by a goat god monster meant nothing to him.  "Huh, maybe he doesn''t recognize me.  I mean, I guess I do look a bit different, but still.  How could he do that?"


    "Is that really important right now?"  I let out a breath, almost collapsing on the ground myself.  "You idiot, let''s go back to the cafe and forget this whole plan.  That goat obviously doesn''t think you''re friends."


    Cole tilted his head, studying the monstrous Solhorn.  "Maybe that''s just how goats say hello?"


    The beast pawed the ground again, looking like he was getting ready to headbutt Cole a second time since the first obviously hadn''t left enough of an impression.  Cole''s curiosity was going to get him killed.  I forced my legs to move, hurrying over to the fool.


    "That is not how goats say hello.  It''s how they say goodbye." I grabbed his arm, hauling him up.  "Take the hint and let''s get out of here."


    Cole''s eyes widened.  "You speak goat?"


    I sighed, pushing him to get moving.  "Yup and I''ll tell you all about it once we''re back in the cafe."


    "But your milk..."


    "Screw the milk. We''ll come back later."


    To run a cafe properly, I needed a steady source of ingredients.  Yes, I wanted milk to make cheese and pudding and all sorts of other things, but food wasn''t worth anyone''s life.  I took a deep breath, resigning myself to the little bits of milk and cheese I could get from the safe zone.


    "If you''re sure." Cole glanced back at the Solhorn with sad eyes.  "Until next time, old friend."


    The Solhorn made a noise that sounded an awful lot like a snort, then went back to grazing on the tall golden grass as if we''d never been there.  I didn''t like giving up on something so important, but coming back later was a valid plan.  I''d figure out what food goats loved the most and make some glorious treats that would be sure to impress the Solhorns.  It was the only option we had right now....right?


    Except, the little goat from earlier was following me, practically begging for me to take her with us.  It would be so easy to just open a door and flee before that monster even knew what we were doing.


    Memories of the crispy cluckers chasing me down after their chick was gobbled up by Matcha came to mind.  Messing with baby monsters was probably a terrible idea.


    "I''m sorry, but you can''t come with us," I said softly.  "I don''t want to be part of a kidnapping.  Not with that big guy looking all terrifying."


    The little goat bleated at me, sniffing my hands like the scent of herbs was still on them.  She hopped, bouncing in such a similar way to the slimes that my good judgement started fading.  The goat was only level 10, which was perfectly acceptable for my floor...


    "Okay, fine, but we have to be quick about it." I glanced at Cole.  "Think you can distract him for a bit?"


    Cole nodded.  "Definitely.  Somebody''s gotta remind Heliandor who''s the boss around here."


    I bit my lip.  No way was Cole the boss of that goat or any other monster here.  Even the slimes didn''t listen to him.  I pulled the cafe''s key from my inventory.  It was still warm, like it had been sitting by a fire.  I smiled, grasping it tightly.  Time to go home.  The little goat bumped the back of my legs, urging me to go through with this crazy new plan.


    I patted her head, laughing, but froze when a high-pitched bleat shook the air, rumbling the ground so much I almost fell over.  Heliandor charged, racing towards us faster than I could summon a door.  Did he know I was about to take a goat home with me?  I dropped my hand, backing away from the adorable little goat.


    "I''m not kidnapping her, I swear!  She''s all yours!"  I dropped the key in shock, losing it in the tall grass.  The little goat just kept hopping next to me, bleating back at Heliandor as if egging him on.  "Hey!  I gave you herbs!"


    "Time to prove my friendship."  Cole pulled me behind him, cracking his knuckles as he stood firm in front of the charging monster.  "Heliandor!  Sit!"


    I gaped at him.  "Sit?  Seriously?"


    Every goat in the area besides Heliandor plopped down on their backside with a soft thud.  I blinked, staring at the ridiculous sight of so many goats sitting in the grass.  The little one beside me was too short to even see over the swaying golden fronds.


    Huh, so Cole really was a friend of the goats.  I had not seen that coming.


    Heliandor bellowed, his voice shaking the very air as the golden glow spilled out of his horns like sunlight.  The light got brighter and brighter, until I had no choice but to squeeze my eyes shut.


    "Okay, maybe we''re not friends," Cole muttered darkly.  "Hazel, go back to the cafe without me.  I''ll be there as soon as I can."


    "I can''t just–"


    "Go!"


    I fumbled for the key in the grass, accidentally grabbing the little goat''s hooves.  "Sorry."


    When I finally found the key, I stumbled up to summon a door, but the light was searing my eyelids and tears were welling up.  I brushed them away, stumbling as I moved, trying to escape the light just for a moment.  It felt like I was moving in circles though, getting further and further away from Cole.


    "Be careful!" he shouted right before my foot met open air and the tall grass disappeared.  Air whooshed around me as I fell off the very cliffs the goats had been climbing on earlier.


    Damn goats. Adorable, but terrifying.


    This probably would have gone better if I''d brought cookies.