We exchanged quips and bantered deep into the night until I fell asleep again. Speech woke me and I almost groaned. Turned to lay on my belly to observe the issue. A kid I did not know sat on the couch babbled on to himself, by the looks of it. Monster wasn’t replying in any case and there was nobody else present.


    “Fucking finally! Hello, new mouth. Why do you smell so odd?” and on and on. Right, there was an entire someone else in the room. He must have been banking on waking me. That, or perhaps mouths did not sleep? If he thought I was one, all the questions in the tirade were expected to be answered. What were those now?


    But wait, how does he know about mouths? Before I could untangle my brows, the odd underdressed child strolled out of the room straight into the snow, still babbling on.


    My gaze landed on the source of all strangeness and the creature must have read a demand for answers, because they came immediately, “My mouth, to guard your acquaintances.”


    “He’s loud,” I stated my most pressing complaints blankly. My mind was not fully operational yet.


    “It’s a mouth.”


    I rubbed my tired face and decided I probably deserved that for all my past transgressions towards newly woken. Karma was a bitch.


    It was still dark, but I saw hefty backpack and the clothes I wore all radiated warmth. There was hat and mittens nearby. Monster brazenly trampled the boundaries yet again, but it was too considerate to complain. In the outside conditions, hiding under his skin was an understated pleasure.


    “Is it time to go?”


    “We’re on your schedule,” dispassionate tone informed. I rolled my eyes, regardless of feeling oncoming diabetes.


    “Is it anywhere near dawn yet? Are you ready?”


    “It is and even if I wasn’t, I can split my physical presence many times over,” monster boasted by stating the facts. He must be feeling better.


    “Pretty big words for someone still recovering from being kicked by a toddler,” I teased.


    “It was at least a teenager,” he replied back completely straight-faced.


    “Yeah, that changes everything. Speaking of. Why’s your mouth a child? Is that gonna be… alright?”


    “That’s not its original appearance.”


    A trickster, then. Raises additional concerns, but I suppose it would be fine. I should stop questioning monster business already.


    “And who’s this?” I wondered out loud, kneeling by several more half-hidden children. None were of interest except... “Amber,” I sighed involuntarily. She looked just like back at the church-ran orphanage, where we met. Where I met Ruby! I felt entire new part of my memory unlock. I scooped up the fragile form and held it under my chin for several minutes.


    Because she was in this tiny form I already knew there was nothing rattling around in the little round head. Regardless, there were words I never had the chance to say.


    “Thank you. Don’t lose your light,” I whispered upon deaf ears. Not only it was unfair to ask, this would now be an entirely different person with whole other experiences. That Amber was dead. This girl could grow up to be a spoiled, whimsical princess. The thought didn’t upset me. Entire bunch deserved a break.


    I settled the girl back and heard words.


    “Rivis, you cut your hair,” tiny hands grabbed onto my still uncomfortably long locks.


    I was left speechless for once. I was so choked up, tears threatened to fall. I didn’t let the poison out.


    She remembered me. The not-yet-disillusioned longhaired kid, who didn’t need to be all practical and scuffle-ready. A tiny, long lost fraction that even I failed to hold onto - but Amber had it.Stolen story; please report.


    Girl’s eyelids grew irresistibly heavy and the child fell back into sleep. I gave myself a moment before speaking.


    “Do you think there will be any others?” I asked out of formality rather than hope. Regardless of promising sight, that rustling thing was buried under thick layer of snow.


    “Unlikely. Everything that’s left has been reformed to hold my particulars. There are no more recognisable recollections to find them by. All I can do now is retrieve discarded particles such as skin from the place you’ve resided at and remake bodies anew.”


    Tough call. But if there was a possibility, I did want Ruby to have second chance too.


    “Sure. I guess. But I can’t go back there right now…” There was nowhere to hurry anymore. Plenty of corners Ruby’s blood has been spilled at. This final recovery can be done at any time. Dead people didn’t feel pain of delay and I just needed a break. “We’ll visit later,” I interrupted whatever my monster was about to say.


    “Gimme a minute and we can go,” I left to use the outhouse, not least bit embarrassed of the companion I took along. Life of privacy and shyness was never in the books for me. Clean up with the snow was more brutal than any remorse I might have had.


    I found monster already waiting outside with a backpack over his own shoulders. Frankly - big relief, because I assumed he’d morph into something else and that massive burden would be my problem.


    Upon eyeing the stylish man with oversized travel pouch more carefully, I had to ask, “Why do you have a bag?”


    “Because I’ll have my hands full,” he flailed the limbs between us in an obvious imitation of me. It was terrible. “You won’t eat it if I spit out your dinner,” he said far more seriously.


    “Ah. Touché again. You’re just full of wisdom today. It’s as if you’re made of pure brain,” I replied with a crooked grin but was nevertheless touched. He was putting a lot of thought into this. “So… where’s our ride? Oh, oh, are we gonna be travelling at the speed of thought?”


    “I’d rather not do this here, unless you want to sow panic in the wake.”


    “Tempting! Sufficiently dramatic for the departure. But yeah, no. Okay, let’s do some walking.” I strode towards the gate and monster trailed after me reluctantly. I suppose vaulting over the fence was an option too, but too late to change my decision now.


    “Did you get my gloves?” I asked and monster handed them over, along with the hat. Right on time. The ears were about to fall off, and that would have been a mercy. I trudged forth first this time, it was far easier with proper boots. Still lost my breath by the time we reached gates though.


    The men guarding the perimeter shouted between themselves and us, monster communicated back. I gawked at the brightening sky and tasted the snowflakes. Until I heard comprehensible speech from someone. Then I gawked open-mouthed some more, just without catching stray droplets.


    “Yeah, leaving,” I finally replied and nodded along to whatever else he’s been saying. Probably wanted the details of this abrupt departure, but monster was filling in the gaps. We shook hands energetically and I was glad for wearing the gloves.


    After some cajoling and handover of a mystery sack which he pulled out of far too small pocket, guardsmen finally got to opening the gate. I waved a goodbye once more, and turned to the mysterious man walking by my side. He was ignoring the landscape completely, eyes affixed upon me instead. I grinned wide. This dickhead really lied to me. He said one thing and did another. I might need to prove myself with actions too.


    “Only because we were leaving,” he nearly growled.


    “Was somebody a little jealous?” I teased good-naturedly.


    “What do you mean, little?”


    Imitation of man probably said it jokingly too, but about then I remembered he wiped out a city in my name. I grabbed onto monster’s hand and held it tight. Emotions or not, he did have something of equivalent function.


    “Thank you. Not because of my sentiments towards the man, but because of others. It’s a small place. He must have had family and friends who would have caused issue… And been sad. I’ve… I did a lot of nasty things. But I had at least that. I don’t want to hurt people who don’t deserve it.”


    “Is that why you refuse to be the one in control?”


    “What? No. Maybe? I don’t know. Man, you really went for the throat there. God damn autistic alien,” I cursed and dove into deep thought. I didn’t want to be talking about this at all, but answers were his currency. I owed him this much.


    “I don’t want to be what I’ve been forged into,” I muttered, stewing in this paradox of my own making.


    “You know you can’t hurt me. Not that much,” monster attempted to soothe.


    “Really? I do have a lot of blood, you know,” I boasted, but shortness of my breath betrayed me.


    “Your impulse is to harm the other, not so much yourself.”


    “Well if you know, why are you asking all this?!” I snapped.


    “I probably lost entirety of that information, if I ever understood it at all. If it pleases you to exact power, why would you hold back?” omnipotent god asked me. I guess this planet should count its blessings for lack of emotion in our interplanetary guests. Really, really lucked out there.


    “Because I had the pleasure of being the punching bag for twenty years. This might sound pathetically short to you, but that’s is nearly my entire life. I know how it feels. I don’t want to be doing this to anyone else.” And yet I had. Memory of it sickened me, even when recipient didn’t mind it.


    “You have no notion how it translates to my senses, so there shouldn’t be a problem. Don’t hold back.”


    I scowled distastefully at the clueless monster. “Yeah and how about how that makes me feel?”


    “Good?”


    God damn not entirely wrong alien. “Not just that. What’s a thing you’d absolutely hate doing? Imagine cutting big chunks of yourself off. Like you’re about to do… But that you’d start liking it, because it made you feel better the first time. And would keep doing it until there’s nothing left…” My yap shut as soon as I realised this somehow turned into an anti-drug campaign and that none of this was applicable to a being who was actively reconstructing itself on a daily basis. Highly unrelatable.


    “You’re afraid you’ll disappear?” he put it so simply. What was I if not an abused street kid? “You always were fixated onto remaining the same. It’s impossible, even for humans.”


    “I know,” I mouthed weakly.


    “The humans from the city which I consumed. Do you want me to restore as many as I can?” monster changed topic abruptly, but I was still stuck in molasses of identity crisis. Already I was neither a kid, nor was there a street anywhere in sight.


    I forced myself to change gears and pondered for a few. Answer came unbidden. “Nah. I don’t really care about them. Military would probably kill every fishy-smelling zombie anyway.” My lip quirked upon a sudden realisation, “Were you trying to cheer me up?”


    “I was hoping to butter you up for the next step,” he said still not looking ahead. I had to stare in front of me for both of us. It was too eerie to constantly be meeting the unblinking eyes.


    “Whuchu mean?” I asked with caution. Monster was not dishing out empty warnings.


    “Do you have any strong feelings about insects?”


    “I’d rather not eat them if that’s what you’re asking, but beggars can’t be choosers. Wait. No way, you’re gonna put me in the jowls of a bug? What’s wrong with horses? People love horsies,” or so I was told.


    “It’s not as smooth a ride as it appears. I promise you, you’ll hate it. Especially for the distance we need to traverse.”


    “Well. That just makes me want to prove you wrong,” I said just to spice things up, even though I had no doubt monster knew what he was talking about.


    Sense of unease was gradually gathering at the base of my skull. It was getting hard to breathe. I wanted to hide. Run. Legs wouldn’t move. There was a dark figure in the distance.


    I gripped the glove in my fist instead, but it played dead. Cleared my parched throat to playfully accuse, “Did you forget to take care of a little something?”


    “No. This is new,” man with bone white hair gritted out.