<h4>File 21: Let''s Think Up a Romantic Language of Flowers Meaning</h4>


    Using all the many features of a cutting edge smartphone, I was using 200% of my focus to surreptitiously lift up the skirt of the maid napping on the screen. But then an underssman (female) of mine suddenly spoke up from behind me.


    “Senpai, it’s an emergency!! The library has turned into a botanical garden!!”


    “G-gahh!! N-no! You’ve got it all wrong! The code to stop the giant ultimate weapon Assault Noah is written on the underside of her skirt, so I have a perfectly gentlemanly and world-peace-rted reason for doing this! I didn’t have any kind ulterior-...Wait, what?”


    “Again, the university library has turned into a botanical garden! ...Also, what were you crouched over and grinning about?”


    As I did not want her looking any further into that, I quickly headed to the building in question.


    And it was exactly as she said.


    “Oh, my. ...This certainly is something.”


    As my underssman had said, the university library had undergone a ss change to botanical garden.


    And the nt inside it was not a normal one.


    “Shit! What the hell is this!? It looks like it could swallow a human whole!”


    “W-wait, senpai! They’re something like really, really big carnivorous nts. If they don’t get enough nutrients from the ground, it seems they will target any living thing that gets near them!!”


    My underssman was the type who would look good in buruma, but was actually a bike shorts girl. I looked in the direction she was pointing and saw a great number of containers filled with nutrients stabbed into giant flowerpots. I did not like being around those kinds of chemicals.


    The library was a modern type of building so its walls were almost entirely made of ss, so the nts could receive plenty of sun. (Out of fears of the sun damaging the paper of the books, each and every one had a UV book cover ced on it, but I was unsure how effective that would be.) The nt’s giant leaves looked unnecessarily energetic like they were from some tropical ind.


    “So what is this?”


    “It was them again. This was yet another left-over gift for the exceptional geology department.”


    “Why do they always stand out the most at our university? Most of the budget goes to them and they get the top facilities.”


    “The professors from other departments have even appeared on TV in an attempt to do something about it, so we’ve be something like an office for TV personalities.”


    “So what is this thing?”


    “You know about the uproar around the Vosne Asteroid, right? It seems some aliens from outside the sr system have established some technology on it to carry things. Previously,munications were primarily done via data carried by electric signals, but now an 80 year trade route has been established.”


    “Hehh... But doesn’t the side receiving the objects have to risk their lives? They have to carry out the work to take on the objects while matching the asteroid’s incredible speed.”


    “What’s worse is what the aliens get out of this! They’re having the asteroid snatch up debris along its path to take back to them!! They’re gonna steal Earth’s technology!!”


    “Yeah, but the debris around the earth is at its saturation point, so they were saying it would probably start having a negative effect on the space industry before long. So shouldn’t we be celebrating the fact that they’re taking some of it away?”


    “You’re too na?ve, senpai! It may just be trash to us earthlings, but it might be the final missing piece the aliens need toplete some horrible technology!!”


    “Anyway, what is this thing?”


    “There was a special sale on mackerel pike at the neighborhood supermarket, so...”


    “What is it? What is it? What is it!? What! Is! It!?”


    My underssman did not like the dust that flew into the air as I thrashed about, so she finally gave me a proper answer.


    “Apparently, it’s a present from the aliens.”


    “And why is it in the library? Normally, this kind of thing would be sent to a sealed room for the exceptional geology department.”


    “Our university’s research team got their hands on it first, but they came across a problem.”


    “...We’re from the literature club. How could we possibly be involved?”


    “It’s a nt, so it needs anguage of flowers meaning.”


    “...”


    Eh?


    But before I could express my confusion, my underssman scratched her cheek softly with her index finger.


    “I reacted the same way when they first told me. But apparently it’s true.”


    “But...” I looked back and forth between the bike shorts girl and the giant carnivorous nts. “Can we really just give it one so easily?”


    “It seems thenguage of flowers isn’t something decided on by any set group. I’m not too knowledgeable about it myself, but it seems different countries and cultures have different meanings for the same flowers. They want toe up with something even if it’s only for this university, but the exceptional geology department has no naming sense whatsoever, so they threw in the towel.”


    “I see. This certainly is an inexact thing, isn’t it?”


    “I want to get this thing out of the library as quickly as possible, so let’s just give it some meaning.”


    “Good point. ...Hmm, it’s a giant carnivorous nt, right? How about ‘that which devours flesh’ or...vofowaahh!?”


    “Wahhh!! Senpai’s head is being eaten!!”


    It did not seem to like that, so I was very nearly devoured myself.


    “Wait, this flower can react!?”


    “Let’s give it a romantguage of flowers meaning! I’m sure it’ll ept that!!”


    “Y-yeah, but what could we possible give to such an overwhelmingly grotesque flower? Something like ‘that which gathers flies with its stench’ or...mochuu!?”


    “Senpai, you need some education!!”


    The bike shorts girl pulled a book on thenguage of flowers from a shelf filled with illustrated reference books.


    “See? It’s filled with schmaltzy words like ‘I love you’ or ‘I swear eternity to you’!! It probably wants you to give it something like that!”


    “Y-you like the love romance genre, so wouldn’t this be a job for you?”


    “Oh, c’mon! What are you saying!?”


    “Idiot! Don’t swing that giant book arou-...gbeffh!?”


    As anything more would put my life at risk, I had no choice but to pull some loose leaf paper and a mechanical pencil out of my bag. These meanings were generally a single idea. And they had to be as maudlin as possible. Also, this one had to be symbolic of that monstrous flower.


    “...H-how about ‘wless perfection’!? Dobyarjaaa!?”


    “You can’t go with any obvious lies, senpai!!”


    “Bhuh... Th-then what am I supposed to do!? I have to base it on this thing!! I’m never going to find a beautiful meaning for thi-...nchrwaaa!!”


    “It seems to be telling you to choose something, senpai!!”


    “Well, I could go down a more realistic path and choose something like ‘you’re ugly but I love you’...gyagyavaaaa!!”


    “I think it wants something nicer than that, senpai!!”


    “Your unaffectedness lets your true beauty show throu...byaaahhh!?”


    “That was too nice, senpai!!”


    “Bubyargyaaahhh!!”


    “Senpai!!”


    “...!!”


    “!?”


    An old man in ab coat from the exceptional geology department came to retrieve the giant carnivorous nts.


    “So what did you decide on for itsnguage of flowers meaning?”


    “Pant, pant... ‘View me as I am’.”