Sebastian waited until Rowan had fallen asleep, fingers carding through his hair to soothe him, before slipping away to Brie’s room. He sat at the foot of her bed, her gentle breathing the only sound as she slept. He rubbed his face, considered waking her then decided against it. The sheets rustled as she stirred.


    “Oh my--” She gasped as she sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Seb, I love you, but this sneaking into my bedroom at all hours has to stop.” She paused and peered at him in the darkness. “What’s wrong?”


    “Rowan...he…” He ran a hand over his shaved head and took a deep breath. “He’s dead. He found his death certificate at the prison.”


    “Sebastian.” He rubbed at his damp eyes as she crawled across the bed to him. She put her head on his shoulder and ran a gentle hand down his arm. “I’m so sorry. I know this isn’t what you wanted.”


    “No, but...you don’t understand, Brie. I knew. I already knew. After the accident, he just wasn’t the same, and the way Thomas behaved... I’ve seen it all before. So I assumed…I mean, I hoped it wasn’t true, that his father hadn’t…”


    “You knew?” Brie pulled away from him, and in the dark, he could feel her eyes burning into his skin. “From the very beginning? You led us here, knowing what would happen. Why?”


    “I didn’t want to believe it, kept telling myself it was nothing, that he was fine.” Tears ran down his cheeks and dripped onto his hands as he clenched them tightly in his lap. “I didn’t...you know how it happened? How he did it? He killed himself, Brie. Can you imagine how alone he must have felt, how terrified? And I wasn’t even there. I wasn’t even in the same galaxy.”


    “Sebastian, you can’t blame yourself.”


    “I don’t. Not for his death. But me not being there? That’s all on me. I keep doing this to the people I love. Leaving them when they need me the most, not stepping in, even when their lives are on the line.”


    “You couldn’t have known.” She leaned her head back down on his shoulder and gently eased his hands apart. She entwined their fingers. “I’m sorry you’re hurting.”


    He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you.” He hesitated then said, “you can’t tell the others. At least, not yet.”


    “I understand, but Sebastian,” she raised her head to look at him, “we have to get rid of him.”


    “No.”


    “You know what’s going to happen.”


    “Absolutely not.”


    “Seb--”


    “He stays with me!”


    She took his face in her hands. “Sebastian, listen to me. The dead were not meant to be revived; they always bring madness back with them. Whoever he is now, he is not the Rowan we knew. He’s simply wearing his face and playacting a script he barely remembers. We have to end this before it hurts worse. Remember what happened with Alyssa.”


    Sebastian jerked away. “He stays with me.” Softer, he pleaded, “he didn’t ask to be brought back. This isn’t his fault either. He deserves a chance, doesn’t he?”


    “It will end badly.”


    “Then I’ll handle it then.”


    “He could kill us all.”


    “I won’t let that happen.”


    “I know you love him--”


    “No,” he interrupted, “it’s more than that.”


    Brie sighed then stretched her arms over her head, her cut-off shirt revealing more of her onyx skin as it rose higher. Sebastian caught the barest glimpse of her snake tattoo along her ribs, the rest coiling up to nestle between her breasts. He''d seen the entire piece, had watched the tattoo being inked into her skin. There would have been a time when the sight of it would have ignited a fierce longing in him, but that time was long past. Now that someone more precious slept in his bed.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    “Alright.” She said. “This stays between us, but the second I fear our lives are in danger, I won’t hesitate to put a second bullet through him.”


    Sebastian winced but nodded. “Agreed.”


    Rowan refused to leave the room, wrapped in a cocoon of blankets. The paper never left his hand as he read and reread it, even as the nausea appeared again. He trembled as he fought against his illness, knowing now it was probably the after effects of being dead. What had his father expected to accomplish? Was his life so important that it had to be sullied this way? It didn’t feel so important anymore.


    Sebastian stayed with him through it all, worry and fear strangers on the older man’s face, but still present. Rowan felt an inexplicable amount of guilt, stronger than the pain. He ate when he was brought food though it never stayed down. He listened to Sebastian’s overdramatic space stories even though his attention waned at the best of times. He felt like the shell of a person, an empty corpse just wasting away, held together by an invisible thread. It tethered him to the world of the living just as Kenan had been tethered to the ship. He wondered when his own tenuous thread would snap.


    The days passed this way, Rowan counting each minute down as he hid in Sebastian’s room, barely able to move as he grew stiff and exhausted. Sebastian tried to cheer him up, fought to keep him alive, but he just wanted to fade away. He didn’t want this life he hadn’t asked for. The tipping point finally came in the middle of the night when an earsplitting screech tore everyone from their beds, wild-eyed and armed. Sebastian and Thomas hurried to the engine room while Rowan trailed after the rest of the crew to the bridge. Acrid smoke billowed in from the engine room, following Sebastian and Thomas as they returned, coughing.


    “Well, I have unfortunate news.” Sebastian told his crew. He rubbed at the black streaks across his face with burnt fingers, almost sheepishly, “One of our engines has died a sad, sad death, so we’re going to have to hobble to the nearest planet for repairs.”


    Rowan looked to his brother and tried to meet his eyes. Thomas remained staring studiously at the floor, picking at the fresh blisters on his hands as a chorus of groans filled the room. “Wait, wait, I have good news.” Sebastian said quickly. “The planet that’s closest is Abilene.”


    “Oh, thank God.” Brie breathed.


    “Abilene?” Rowan’s eyes snapped to Sebastian who lit up at his interest.


    “It’s the Twilight Planet. Or the planet that never sleeps.” He announced gleefully. “They have one of the biggest fairgrounds in the universe. You’ll love it.”


    Rowan didn’t reply, and Sebastian visibly deflated. Softer, he said, “It’s alright if you don’t want to go, though.”


    Rowan’s eyes flicked to him as the rest of the crew began to leave the room, eager for their beds. He noticed Thomas trying to slip from the room as well and hurried to stop him. “Did you know?” He asked, shoving his hand in his pocket to clutch at the paper. “Did you know what Dad did?”


    Thomas remained impassive as he turned to go. “Don’t talk to me.”


    “Rowan.” Sebastian reached out to touch him, but Rowan jerked away.


    “Please." Thomas whispered. "Just leave me alone. I don''t have the answers you want.”


    Everyone else had gone, and Thomas shuffled from the room, unheeded. The stillness of the room enveloped the remaining two. Rowan felt his frustration increase as he balled his fist and refused to look at the captain. But Sebastian wouldn’t be ignored. He stepped in front of Rowan and grabbed his shoulders to keep him rooted to the ground.


    “You are not dead. I don’t care what your father did or what that piece of paper says. I don’t care if you died before. You are not dead now, and I am not going anywhere. So, please, just...enjoy these moments with us. Like you would have if you’d never seen that paper.”


    “I can’t just pretend like I don’t know.”


    “Why not?”


    “Because...because I can’t! I just can’t.” Rowan looked up at the ceiling and blinked rapidly. “I can’t because I can remember what it felt like to die, and now I know why the people in my town looked at me the way they did. Like they knew something that I didn’t, like it hurt to think about. I wanted to go to college. I wanted to be an inventor. I can’t do any of that now, can I? This changes everything.”


    “You can do whatever you want. It’s a pretty big universe.”


    “But not legally. Legally, I’m...I’m…” He rubbed his eyes, but they remained dry as if he was beyond tears.


    “We’ll figure it out, but later, okay? For now, let’s just enjoy the next few moments without worrying about all of this. Please? Just enjoy being alive with me.”


    Rowan worried his bottom lip between his teeth. He couldn’t just forget. The whirling emotions inside him refused to still, and he swore he could still hear the yateveo calling him a monster. When he looked up, Sebastian’s eyes were swimming as he tried to force a smile. He opened his mouth, and Rowan knew the words before they were spoken. He knew they’d be the captain telling Rowan he could barricade himself back in his room if he wanted, that he wouldn’t force him to do anything. A tidal wave of warmth and love flooded Rowan, and he pressed himself closer to his boyfriend, freezing the captain in his uncertainty.


    “The fair sounds fun.” He whispered softly. If he had to be alive, he could try to make the most of it. There’d be time to panic later.