Abilene felt like something out of a dream, bathed in an eternal twilight and bustling with a myriad of people. They docked onto the only empty space and passed a horned man sitting on a bench, plucking a ten-string guitar. His fingers ended in thick claws, but he held the instrument delicately. His music filled the air with gentle, soothing notes as familiar as that distant childhood memory no one could quite remember.
Sebastian tugged on the collar of his black turtleneck and cast the musician a wary glance as they passed. Though he did slip a few coins into the case at the man’s hooved foot. Kenan and Lyra disappeared down a nearby street, and in the mist, Rowan could see them traveling down every street and alley, casually peering into windows and feigning excitement and joy. Beside him, Brie cast her eyes to the rooftops. It was clear they were scoping out the area, well-versed in protecting their crew and captain. The only one who paid no heed was Thomas who stood off to the side of their group, eyes on the ground. Sebastian led them to a nearby shop, the letters on the sign unfamiliar to Rowan. A little bell jingled as they entered. The room was filled with mechanical parts from robotic arms to giant ship engines hanging from the high-vaulted ceiling. Curious, Rowan picked up a jar on one of the cramped shelves and peered inside. He jumped when a single eye peered back at him.
“It’s a false eye.” Kenan said, leaning over his shoulder. “Robotic. See the wires sticking out there?”
Rowan hastily put the jar back as a little girl, probably no older than six or seven, came out of the back. “Oh, hello,” her words sounded odd, stilted and monotonous, “what can I do for you lovely people?”
“One of our engines blew on the way here. Any way we can get it fixed?” Sebastian asked, undeterred by the girl’s youth.
“I suppose I can do something, yes. What type of engine?”
“Any kind. It’s a mix and match ship.”
“You’re pirates, yes?” At their nods, she continued. “I’ll see if we have a strong and fast one.”
“Aren’t you too young to be a mechanic?” Rowan blurted.
“I am not as young as I appear.” She turned to face him, revealing the right side of her face where metal sparked beneath tatters of paper-thin skin.
“You’re an AI.”
“I am called Sal. My creator is off planet, but I am capable.”
Rowan had never seen an AI up close before, especially not one so well-made. Had it not been for the obvious facial damage, he would have never suspected. Something in him itched to examine the girl, to figure out how she worked, but he stopped before he could ask for any schematics on herself. This was the kind of thing he would have been interested in before, but he was dead now. He couldn’t enjoy these kinds of things if he was dead. Only the living were allowed to enjoy life.
“Just write your ship’s information down here.” Sal said, handing a clipboard with a piece of paper attached to Sebastian. “Then leave it with me for a few hours. You may have heard: the fair is in town. Please enjoy it on our behalf. Abilene’s pride and joy.”
She twitched, and as she reached for the clipboard, her right hand fell to the floor with a loud clatter. “Oh, that is not good.” She looked at them. “Apologies. My creator has been gone a bit too long.”
“It happens.” Rowan said as he darted forward to pick up the hand. “The parts that move the most are the ones that break the fastest. It’s an easy fix if you want me to take a look?”
She gave him a smile. “Yes. I would like that, but please, don’t touch my face. It keeps me honest.”
Rowan looked at her as he found a screwdriver and carefully reattached the hand. “Keeps you honest?”
“I won’t pretend to be human when I’m not. My creator disapproves of this.”
“What’s wrong with being human?” Sebastian asked, pretending to be affronted.
“Not a thing.” She smiled as she moved her newly attached hand. “But it is not what I am. Please, move to the nearest exit and allow me time to work. You may have heard: the fair is in town. Please enjoy it on our behalf. Abilene’s pride and joy.”
“I will never get used to androids.” Kenan said with a shudder, then cast a guilty glance at Sebastian. “No offense.”
“I’ve never seen an actual AI. She was fascinating.” Rowan said.
“No, she was creepy. It’s like a doll coming to life.” Kenan insisted.
Lyra smiled. “Some would say I am creepy.”
“Like a ghost in a haunted house, but that’s beside the point. I can handle ghosts. Not living dolls.”
She gave him an indulgent smile but said nothing more as she tightened her bandana around her snow-white hair. Sebastian clapped his hands together. “Alright. Like Sal said: the fair is in town, so let’s enjoy it.” He pointed towards the sky where a large planet with three rings floated. “We’ll meet back at the ship when all the rings on Pandora are aligned. Agreed?”
Everyone nodded their agreements. “Where’d Thomas go?” Brie asked, looking around.
Rowan peered into the mist. He could see no one on the streets who looked like his brother. “When did he leave?”
“He was definitely inside the shop with us.” Kenan said. “I think.”
“He’ll turn up.” Sebastian said, unconcerned as they ventured into the lively fairgrounds where they split up almost immediately.
The Abilene fair was a myriad of dazzling colors and joyous laughter, bursting to the brim with people of all sorts. Rowan pressed close to Sebastian’s side as a lizard woman, green scales catching the light of the ferris wheel, passed them with her hand clutching that of a bearded dwarf. Nearby, Brie was talking to a blue man with fairy wings and a top hat. Kenan and Lyra had vanished in the mist, like two misguided spirits. Lyra wouldn’t stand out amidst this group.
“Come on.” Sebastian grabbed his hand. “This ride over here will make your head spin. Literally.”
Buoyed by the lively air, Rowan let Sebastian drag him from ride to ride. He didn’t feel dead with Sebastian’s arm around him as they spun around in the ruby-studded goblets. He didn’t feel dead when Sebastian kissed him before the shooting star roller coaster where the high speeds made him nauseous. And he certainly didn’t feel dead when, at the top of the ferris wheel. With the stars close enough to touch, he blurted out three little words.
“I love you.” He and Sebastian both froze and stared at one another in wide-eyed silence.
He wanted to take it back immediately, wanted to laugh it off like it meant nothing. They were just three little words, but they were the one thing Rowan truly believed in. Sebastian, with his eyes of molten gold, had been beside him every step of the way, from his silly texts half a galaxy away to his steady support after finding out the truth about Rowan. Maybe Rowan couldn’t go off to college and pursue his dreams of being an inventor like his father, but this he could keep. This was the one thing that wasn’t a lie. The one thing that hadn’t betrayed him.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.
“I love you.” He repeated, letting each word hang heavily in the air between them. They were the only ones in the universe now.
“I love you too.” Sebastian said breathlessly, his face breaking into a grin as he leaned in. “Of course I love you.”
He pressed a kiss to Rowan’s lips.
“Even though everything’s a mess right now?” Rowan asked.
“You’re still here. That’s the important part.”
Rowan looked up at the stars, the many galaxies and planets spread out before them. “But why am I still here?” He hadn’t meant to ask the question, but he forged on. “I mean, why did Dad do it? Why did our neighbors and friends let him? They knew it wasn’t right.”
Sebastian sat back and tilted his head to stare at the universe. “He was a grieving father who had already lost his wife. Maybe they pitied him. Maybe they didn’t actually think he’d succeed. And by the time he had, it was too late to stop it. It’d be like they were holding the gun and killing you all over again.”
“They could have told me. Someone could have told me.”
Sebastian shook his head. “Would you have wanted to know? Do you not wish you could go back to when you didn’t?” He reached out a hand and firmly grasped Rowan’s. “There’s something else. When people are...brought back...they usually bring something back with them. A darkness. The reason why the law exists is because the dead usually go mad and hurt the ones closest. I’ve seen it for myself.”
“Alyssa.” Rowan recalled the statue in Sebastian’s room.
“I tried to protect her. She died after seeing her mother killed for breaking the law. I found out they’d done the same to her when I went back to that planet.” He pulled down the collar of his shirt to reveal a thin scar down the side of his throat. “She tried to kill me in my sleep after I took her on board. She was so horrified by what she’d nearly done that she used that coin to turn herself into a statue.”
“That won’t happen with me.” Rowan said, squeezing Sebastian’s hand.
“I know.”
The ride jolted as it began its descent. “They won’t let my dad go now, though.”
“I can see if we can talk Thomas into signing him out. They still have no actual proof.”
“They saw me.”
“They saw a confused redheaded boy with an outdated ID. They never fingerprinted you or took any kind of sample. This we can fix.”
“Are you happy my father did this?” Rowan asked quietly.
“I’m happy you’re alive, and I am so sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me to be.”
“It’s alright. I’m sure I had my reasons. I just...can’t think of them now.”
“Probably for the best.”
Rowan grabbed Sebastian’s wrist as he went to step off the ride. “I’m sorry I did it. I’m sorry it hurt you when I did.”
Sebastian stared at him, something akin to grief swimming in his eyes before he blinked it back. “I can’t say it’s okay.” He choked out. “But thanks.”
He swiped a large cone of blue cotton candy from the first stand they passed and offered a bite to Rowan. Curious, he pinched off a small piece and stuck it in his mouth. It melted on his tongue immediately. “I’ve never had this before.” Rowan said.
“Really?” Sebastian blinked at him. “But it’s cotton candy!”
Rowan laughed. “I don’t get off my planet enough to know what that is.”
“Every planet has cotton candy. Uninhabited planets have cotton candy. Oh my God.” He tossed an arm around Rowan’s shoulders and pulled him close.
They split the cotton candy between them as the rings of Pandora aligned. Sebastian pointed it out as shimmering crystals ran down the rings and into the night sky. “It’s so pretty.” Rowan said, staring up at it in wonder.
Sebastian looked at him. “Yeah. Lots of pretty things in space.”
They stopped by Sal’s to double check that the repairs were finished. She met them as soon as they entered and gave them a smile. “The repairs were difficult, but they’re finished. That ship of yours is interesting.”
“But beautiful, right?”
“To some, yes. It will be three thousand nebulas.”
“A bit steep.”
“You can not bargain with me. I gave you the best.”
“Fine.” Sebastian pulled a small bag from his belt and handed it to Sal. He waited impatiently as she spilled the colorful coins out onto the desk behind her and began to count.
When she was finished, she turned and smiled. “The amount is correct. Thank you, and good day.”
“She was nice.” Rowan said as they headed back to their ship.
“Mm. I’ve met nicer. As often as I do business with her creator, she could have at least given me a discount.”
The ship was dark and quiet, no signs that the rest of the crew had returned, but when they stepped inside, they found Thomas on the bridge. He turned as they entered, a half-empty bottle of alcohol clutched in one hand.
“Thomas.” Sebastian acknowledged as he closed the door. He flicked a switch on the wall and dim lights filled the space. “Everything okay?”
Tear tracks marked a path down Thomas’s face, painting a picture of pure misery. Rowan took a step forward. “Brother, what’s wrong?”
“I am not your brother.” Thomas hissed, clutching the bottle tighter. “You’re just something my father built because he couldn’t handle his grief.”
Rowan froze. “I know what Dad did. I know he brought me back--” He stopped as Thomas began laughing, almost hysterically.
Sebastian took a step forward. “Thomas. Don’t. Not tonight, please.”
“Dad didn’t bring anything back.” Thomas said with a cruel smile, laughing at his own pain even as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. “Oh, he tried. He took my brother’s body and kept trying. Night after night, using every method he could find. He even caused a power surge throughout the town. Everyone knew what he was doing, and no one bothered to stop him. ‘This is just how he grieves.’ They’d say. ‘There’s nothing to be done.’ But what he was doing wasn’t right! He desecrated my brother’s body!”
“What are you saying?” Rowan whispered.
“You’re not even human.” Thomas spat. “Just an android my father built to replace his dead son.”
“No.” Rowan placed a hand on his chest and felt his heartbeat. Or was it ticking like a clock? He took a step back, away from the person tearing down his world. His entire existence. “I’m not.”
“You are. My brother is dead,” Thomas glanced at Sebastian who stood frozen, his face unreadable, “and he’s not coming back.” There were no lies in his face, not a hint of deception; oh, no, someone so miserable wouldn’t lie like this.
Rowan pushed past the grieving young man, ignoring the shout of his name (no, the name of a dead boy) behind him. He found himself in the bathroom, staring at his reflection in the cracked glass. He didn’t look any different. He didn’t feel any different. Trembling, he touched his fingers to the cool glass. If he wasn’t human, why did it feel like he was being ripped apart? Why did it feel like his entire world was shattering? Would it be better to be a boy brought back from the dead? Or a robot with no real ties to humanity?
The glint of a knife in the toothbrush holder sparked his attention. He picked it up and studied the thin, long-handled blade then glanced down at his bare arm, the skin unblemished and smooth. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. There was only one way to be completely certain. The tip of the blade was sharp and cold like the icy feeling settling in his bones. Or were there circuits and machinery there instead? Before he could change his mind, Rowan braced for the pain and sliced the knife down his arm. Sebastian stumbled into the doorway behind him, panting and terrified.
Rowan turned, the knife falling to the floor with a loud clatter, and tilted his arm just enough for Sebastian to see. “Oh, Rowan, what have you done?” Sebastian let out a shuddering breath.
The skin had parted like newly spun silk, pain radiating like a true wound, but instead of bone and flesh, instead of blood pouring onto the floor, there was nothing but the glinting of metal and the steady drip of oil.
He met Sebastian’s eyes and expected to find his own horror reflected back. Instead, he saw only sorrow. “You knew.” He breathed, shocked by the jolt of betrayal he felt. “You knew what I was from the very beginning. You let me believe all those lies. You let me trust you!”
“Rowan, please--”
Rowan shoved Sebastian out of his way and ran. His footsteps echoed in the quiet hallways as he stopped in Sebastian’s room. He stared at the snake-haired statue. Her coal eyes regarded him impassively. “I guess we’re both monsters, huh?” He told her, the amulet glinting like a promise. Like a way out.
He turned instead to the bedside table and rifled through it until he found the gun he knew Sebastian kept there. The captain’s footsteps echoed in the hallway. Rowan hesitated then grabbed the amulet as an afterthought. He would have to leave the ship, no chance of anyone finding him this time.
“Rowan,” a familiar hissing called his name, freezing his thoughts. “Come and see us, Rowan. No one’s here but us. We know what you are.”
He walked out into the hallway, no longer hearing Sebastian’s footsteps, and followed the faint whispering of the yateveo trees.